Painkiller Already - PKA 586 W/ Matt Farrah: Jussie Smollett Sentence, Florida Man Story, Woody Missing?

Episode Date: March 12, 2022

all right this is pka 586 with our guest matt fair from the smoking tower i did that on purpose of course this episode of pka brought to you by express vpn and lock and load woody will be coming at some point at some point he will be here why don't you drag it out why don't we just leave it ominous well i don't want people to be here right now. I do want them to be worried. Woody can't be here right now because of a motorcycle crash. No, rapid onset pancreatic

cancer. There was a motorcycle crash involving a very close family member. We're taking it minute by minute right now. See, that's what you're supposed to say. The implication is here that he crashed into a very close family member. Like on the motorcycle. Yeah, he cracked Meredith in the pelvis.

Well, that is what happened. By the way, to go, we're brought to you by Lock and Load, and Woody is not coming. I think that is a really interesting way to turn a phrase. In this way, he's coming like no one else has came before or no one else who doesn't take this product has came before yeah and speaking of which kyle i've been like the gorilla mode nitric that shit is awesome far and away the best pre-workout if anybody wants pre-workouts and doesn't like the stim gorilla mode use code pka gorilla mode uh the nitric blend is the way to go tastes great too If anybody wants pre-workouts and doesn't like the stim, use the code PKA, Gorilla Mode. The nitric blend is the way to go.

It tastes great, too. Yeah, it's very, very good. Matt, will you do me a favor before we get started? Will you tap your microphone just so we're 1,000% sure that's the right one? Nope, not the right one. I knew it. This fucking fuck always... Now, that's interesting. It always switches.

Yeah, it'll do that to you. There's always sneaky nonsense going on. I was like, Matt's got that fuzzy mic over there. I'm better now. Uh-uh. Hit it again. What the fuck? Audio.

All right, sounds a little different. Keep chatting on the mic. It's definitely. It's definitely. Hey, okay, you're on board. I am on board. Now you just got to get closer to it. I remember that happened last time, too. That's fucking weird.

I'll move it closer to my face so now you can have the full shit. I'll chinkle my eyes. That is what you're doing right now is what makes me want to be a whiskey man, is I see people like real adults

clinking the glass. They sniff it. I don't know what they could you guys could be faking it you could be just sniffing to look cooler like i assume cigar people do no it smells better than it tastes especially bourbon like there's no there's no alcohol that like tastes good i'm not gonna fucking lie and say that shit but like that doesn't taste better than cherry cola but it does smell like bourbon has a very sweet kind of like corn, you know, because bourbon's

made from corn, right? So it's got this sort of like... You gotta get away from the mic. I gotta get away from the mic. No, just the clanging. I'm really interested in what you're saying, but it's going jing, jing, jing, jing. I think it sounds cool.

You're like, see, I'm in charge of your microphone. See, that's what you don't know. When Woody's away, I have to make sure your microphone's okay. And if I don't, I get a spanking. He's a big man. All right. I understand. He's a big guy. I understand.

When was the last time I was on the show? How long ago was it? Oh, maybe three, four months. Yeah. So I haven't smoked weed since August. So it was after that. It was after I quit smoking weed. Why'd you quit?

I was having panic attacks. Oh, well, then don't do it. Weed and high-powered weed products and high-powered coffee products combined to create Captain Panic Attack. I never understood why people wanted to like weed. They'd be like, I'll try it again. It's like, Tyler,

you have panic attacks every time. He's like, but maybe not this time. And then 15 minutes later, he's like, I did it again. I'm panicking. I know. I kind of want to be like one of those guys that goes into the ganja store and is like, can I have like old hippie weed? Like 8% weed?

I almost want to smoke CBD only weed because I love smoking weed so much. But I actually don't want the, you know, Everything's like 30% THC now or more. I actually don't find that part that enjoyable. You can do that. Unless you're a really high tolerance smoker because I'm doing the legal Delta-8 stuff and that doesn't hit your tolerance with regular weed. I took one hit a few months ago.

I think it was not even a few months ago, like a Super Bowl party. And I took one one hit one small hit out of his bong and it was the first weed i'd smoked in a long time and i i was uncomfortably high yeah for maybe an hour and like the only reason i like kept with it is like i was like you just you've been in this war zone before my friend fight your way out of it when they ask you a question and then like someone asks you a question, like, did you like that commercial? And you're like, not really. And it's like, I'm like, in my head, I'm like, Dan played that off like a cool customer. No, they have no idea that I'm so close to needing medical help. They't know it's like the meme

of standing in the corner it's like they don't know i need to go to the hospital bro over the uh over the summer like in uh i guess it would have been 2021 like before i got yeah whatever before i got my my covid vaccine i would i would have you know 30 ounce or, you know, big, big coffee, you know, blonde roast fucking horsepower coffee. Take two bingers, you know, first thing in the morning. And then I would proceed to, you know, first have an anxiety attack about how whatever it was I needed to do that day and how much how it was too much. I would never get it done. And then I would, I would manifest COVID symptoms and I would,

and I'd be like going to get tested and shit. And they'd be like, have you been exposed? I'm like, no. If you, do you know anyone who's got COVID? No,

no, no, no, no. I'm like, well, you see, I took these bong hits.

And this is from was this coffee. And this is from weed and coffee. It might not be COVID. It could be Ebola. Is there an Ebola testing center? Have you ever done any harder, maybe you don't even want to say, but have you ever done any harder drugs ever? Yeah. In the past, yeah.

And I haven't. In college, I used to sell mushrooms, which I think we've talked about before. That's not a hard drug, though. See see i've got a different definition of hard drugs hard drugs to me are like heroin heroin and no negative on there the kind that you can buy in a powder you know i'm okay with cocaine i don't even think of cocaine as a hard drug i do it depends if you're depends what like i don't do class you're i know right like like i i did cocaine years and years ago and i just didn't care for it and i really didn't like the upper of it either i didn't i maybe it was just bad cocaine but i was like this isn't this isn't a lot of fun and it

seems like a lot of crime to go along with it not being a lot of fun like that's funny yeah the amount of crime that we are right now versus how much fun i'm having that's an important ratio in all of life i can be an asshole without drugs thank you it would be like speeding in a crown vic like you're taking the same amount of risk for your speeding ticket like you're gonna speed fucking do it in style yeah like you're gonna fucking go for it yeah in in cal California, there's no difference in points between five over and 30 over. So what is the argument against going 29 over everywhere? Well, terrible system. Well, the real argument.

We have a lot of terrible systems. The real argument, though, of course, is the human factor. You can get that cop and you bet. Look, I know that I'm technically a super speeder right now but look how pale i am i know i am that's why if you're driving like a real fast car you can make that argument you can be like look technically i was doing 80 in a 50 but the top speed of this car is 226 so i really hadn't even cracked the tack open by percentage i'm going less than that prius you know right a prius doing 80 when it stops it's like that prius was doing three quarters

of its potential whereas i was only doing one quarter of my potential so i'm good yeah you're being responsible yeah the asshole going 100 miles an hour in a corolla is a huge douchebag the guy doing 100 in a corvette just leans a little too hard. It's cruising. When we go make our car videos, we go up in the mountains very early in the morning when they're as quiet as possible.

They're pretty remote, but the mountain range we film in in the Angeles National Forest, it connects Palmdale and Lancaster, which is like desert people, with LA. So if you're from certain parts of the desert and you want to avoid the major freeways to get to your gig in LA, as a bunch of people do, you would drive over the mountains. And so when we're up there at 6.30, 7 in the morning, we see people coming over the hill

the opposite way. up there like at 637 in the morning we see people coming over the hill the opposite way we call that the palmdale 500 because we see folks in cars that like like from terrible unmaintained econo boxes to to like yes baby to like box van you know like a big box truck. That's just like, you know, like, like, just two, two miles an hour from rolling. It is nuts. And so we go the other way. They need to prioritize those, those hoodlums in their vans that should top out at 48 over you expertly

flying. Well, fortunately they don't prioritize me really at all. They leave me alone up there i have a very good relationship with the police it's really understood that i'm white no uh it's really understood that um and i know their boss i do what i do far in the middle of nowhere uh at at times when there's as few people as possible. And so they kind of leave me alone, which is a nice position to be in if it's your job to

drive real fucking fast, isn't it? I remember I was a huge fan of the Opie and Anthony show. Yes, one for fucking O&A. Oh, it is. Loved O&A. I've spent more hours listening to O&A than I've spent talking to my parents combined in my entire life.

And it's not even a close comparison. That's more about his home life than anything. But I remember because Anthony Cumia would always be talking on the show about how he was going 100 miles an hour in his Escalade. In New York, that seems really hard. But apparently they had, because he donated a certain amount to the cop's ball, they give you cards. When he would get

pulled over, he could show hey, I'm a this level donor to the policeman's ball. They would go, all right, have a wonderful day, Mr. Cumia. That is so corrupt, but also so cool. That makes so much sense now. You remember the episode of Sopranos when Tony gets pulled over and he's

trying to show the guys like, I had dinner with your boss last week. He's like trying to show him his like, whatever. He's got a badge. I think he has a badge as well. He's like the commissioner of policemen or something himself as the biggest crook in town. And the guy's just like not having it at all. Ends up working at the garden supply store in la there's a there's an even more uh out in the open one which is called

the 1199 foundation and if uh if some if zach wants to throw up 11-99 foundation um we could you could share that link but it's you get it's not a card. You don't even have to be pulled over. You get a license plate frame that says just on your car, I am this big dick. And what's truly amazing about the 1199 Foundation is not that it exists, because that's not shocking at all. You donate to whatever, and you get this fucking thing. that's not shocking at all you know you donate to whatever and you get you get this fucking thing it's pretty you got to get a lot of you got to give a lot of money to get the 11.99 license plate it's a couple grand you got to give to get the frame is it like every year or just one time well you they don't fucking repossess the frame yeah what is that entry level is three g's

up to a hundred no you want that jacket for sure. You got to have the jacket, right? Yeah. It's real small. I can't read what it's... If someone wants to read off what it says, you get for 100 on the full screen. 100, personalized platinum award, platinum level watch, special recognition in the... Platinum level watch? Yeah, platinum level watch, special recognition in the 1199 Foundation annual report,

invitations to exclusive events, platinum jacket with 1199 Foundation Annual Report. Invitations to exclusive events. Platinum jacket with 1199 logo. That's a winner. Laptop backpack. Messenger bag. Duffel bag. A lot of bags. A toiletry bag. Two coffee tumblers. 1199 logo cap. Two license plate frames per member. Oh, that's the thing at the bottom, though.

Leather registration holder. Plastic ID card. Most of this is garbage except the last one they give you a brass id card engraved name and member id it's not even so they're going to give you like do a word they're not using there that they're not using the b word brass id card with engraved name is a badge that's a badge bro i want a badge wait go back though what was the what was the lowest, what was the minimum you could give to get a license plate frame?

Because it's really about the license plate frame is really what it's about. Yeah, let's see. Pull that back up, Zach. Let's see how much. What's really amazing about the, oh, Zach says 3K. You get the license plate frame for 3K. Oh, so that's actually quite a good value. I want the duffel bag. I want the coffee. All right, I'll give you 3K, but I want the coffee. But it $3,000. Oh, so that's actually quite a good value. I want the duffel bag. I want the coffee.

All right, I'll give you $3,000, but I want the coffee tumbler. But it's a different color. Just to be clear, the plate frames come in different colors with different letterings. And I wouldn't be surprised if they were like, you got the plastic shit, bro.

Get in the back of my car. The cops have the cheat sheet in the squad cars for sure. Dude, for $100,000, I should also be able to arrest people. They do give you a badge. I should be able to, like, you're an honorary cop, but the real kind, you get a gun. $100,000, I want to be able to run blue and red lights on my car. That would be awesome.

no but like what's crazy is like you'll see in california um it's the only state where if it's illegal to have your car registered in a different state so if you live in georgia no one gives a shit that your car is registered in michigan right no just nobody cares yeah but california because of taxes and because of smog they want you registering your car in California. So if you have a California driver's license, even if you have 10 homes, if you have a California driver's license and you have like 10 homes all over the country and you have cars in California, technically you are required to register those cars in California. That's the law here. And so what's amazing is when you see the CHP 1199 frame around like a South Dakota tag on a Pagani. Or around like a month.

I saw the most bootlicking I've ever seen was a Montana tag. Which a Montana tag, you don't have to live there. You start an LLC. It's a couple hundred bucks. There's no tax it just montana plates in california to scream fuck your taxes i'm not paying them and you're gonna have a real awkward conversation if you get pulled over with a montana tag but people doesn't mean people don't do it but i saw a car that was eight hundred thousand dollars $10,000 with a Montana blue lives matter. 1199 frame on it.

And I was like, whoa, you are simultaneously bootlicking and defunding the police. I like that. That's like, that's like a, that's like a combo in a game. I'm playing both sides. He's,

he's min maxing. He's his character. It was amazing It was bold man It was really bold So then There's going to be some confused cops He's got the border

He's got the duffel bag But he doesn't He's beating people up And Frodeside stops But he's not giving them tax dollars I was thinking the other day like the the the current cannonball run the coolest one in the world is to drive from kiev into mario pole right now with some supplies and i was wondering if you had any tim if you thought about that

maybe some sort of souped up six- wheel like transport vehicle like a Batmobile. Russian cannonball. Yeah, they have the they have the the Peking to Paris, which is a vintage race across, you know, China, Mongolia, Russia and all of Western Europe. That's a real thing. And I think you have to do it in pre-1973 is the cutoff. So people do it in Citroëns and Datsuns and shit from the 50s. It's pretty G, actually. Turn a car from the 50s into an off-road rally car.

It's a pretty boss move, yeah. I would like to see that now. No, I'm serious about that thing because i they're literally trying to make that run right now like like in vehicles and any run would be don't imagine rich americans and europeans like putting their goggles on and like i'm so stupid i was imagining people racing yeah i'm like, this is not the time. Richard Branson's over there like, all right. But if he did that race, any time would be record-breaking.

No one's done it. Oh, they have done it. It just wasn't a timed event. It was like, you made it. You lived. You won. I have a friend named Alex who at one point had the New York to LA cannonball record. He doesn't anymore.

But he decided to just start coming up with random cannonballs to have the record so there was like the three wheeler cannonball record the Denver to Miami fastest car from

Alaska to Key West or whatever I was like you can have a record if you're the first person ever trying it. You have to use like specific things like i'm gonna set the record for the race from my friend jeff's house to tampa yeah they don't know where jeff lives they can't compete exactly that's how you win that's how you cheat your way when you're not good at racing dude covid the the the the first couple months of the uh of the covid, quote, lockdown was, I mean, the fucking cannonball record was broken like seven times in six weeks. People were running. I mean, running.

And the record went from my friend Alex did a 3104. And this is from the Red Ball Garage in Manhattan to the Portofino Inn in Redondo Beach. That's the official route established by Brock Yates in the 70s. And he did 3104, but it's now, I think there might be a run in the 25s. Jesus. 25s. Let me tell you how crazy.

like jesus 25s let me tell you how crazy you need to have an overall average like an including stops an overall average over 100 miles an hour that's including stops all right so so that meant okay so he's he's actually averaging like 140 or so yeah yeah you're doing it. Not that fast. So this is really like a contest of how long can you hold your shit in. No. No. I mean, the way that the couple of guys who have gone back and forth in the middle 20s, they have the same strategy that they've executed in different ways, which is they have a very fast but fairly generic looking

German sedans. They then use vinyl to make them look like other cars. So this dude fucking wrapped up his Audi S8 and made it look like a Taurus S8.

If you really look at it look like a Taurus S8. If you really look at it for a couple seconds, you go, oh, I see what you've done there. But at 100 plus going by you, you can't fucking tell the difference. And then they tune them up with these German big turbos and stuff like that. They run an 8, 900 horsepower in these silver or white sedans and then they have a 60 gallon fuel cell in the trunk. It is shady. I don't understand.

I imagine them wearing... Now, I guess they don't wear helmets because that would be outrageous. But I bet they put their gloves on. They probably have gloves. They should put up a one-sided... Gloves would help, actually. Have you seen those one-sided decals

where you can see through them but other people can't see in? If you did one of those with an elderly white woman, they'd be like, oh, she's just out of control. The guys, I think they're not the current holders, but I think it was one or two back they turned a mercedes e63 uh they got what was called an ams alpha 9 package on it which was 900 horsepower and then they i couldn't believe what they did

with the vinyl it looked just like a honda accord it was incredible it was really, really cool. They changed the taillights to look exactly like Accord taillights. It was wild, wild, wild stuff. And they're just trying to not be as eye-catching and grab somebody's attention when they do that. Yeah. I mean, in traditional cannonball lore, back in the 80s and 70s, the winners would be driving Ferraris and stuff, which makes absolutely no sense in modern times. Not only is the car way too flashy and attention-grabbing, but there's nowhere to put enough fuel.

Oh, good point. You really need a 60-gallon cell, which is like, you know, plus the stock 20 gallon tank, you're running, you're running 80 gallons of fuel. And there's, um, the modern German, um, turbocharged like super sedans. You don't have to do much. I mean, you can put different injectors, different fuel pumps, different turbos, intercoolers, and ECU tune, and you can make 900 horsepower. I mean, easy, easy. It's not even like, you're not even stressing the car out.

I mean, it's easy. To me, the most impressive part is evading a pullover because one is all it takes. Yeah. One and you're fucked. Yeah, if you get pulled over, your record is...

Well, who cares about the legal ramifications? It's not going to be that bad. The record runs done. If it's a half-hour stop, you're fucked. What if it happens like 20 miles from the finish line and you're on the verge of the record? Take the arrest.

Do you pedal to the metal? Let them arrest you at the Portofino parking lot. You're like, you know, I was going to break the record by three minutes. Now I'm going to break it by 12. And you just floor it. And then you just bank on it being like Dledore rules from the police department where they're like you did it so fast we're giving you the key to the city or you bank on you bank on the fact that like a lot of people on on like

street bikes it's like catch me if you can i doubt it and you just leave them behind right on a bike like if you want to leave the cops, you just leave the cops. There's a guy named George Egloff, and most people have never heard of him and never will. But he did all five original cannonballs in the 70s and 80s solo on a motorcycle. a motorcycle and he is one of the most hardcore human beings in in in motorsports history having never competed in any official motorsport but he's in my friend uh my friend's documentary and this guy is completely fucking out of his mind what was his time do you have any idea it was in the 30s 36 37 he actually had to stop and like sleep for a little bit yeah i was going to say man is there any uh any pushback from people who won the

cannonball pre like the roads being 100 open with the lockdown who are like yeah there was that should be asterisked yes there are a lot of people who uh who were saying that covid cannonballs should be asterisks yes there, there were people who said that. What do you think about that? I mean, look, I don't endorse any cannonballs. I think it's very dangerous. It's very dangerous. And although I respect the ingenuity involved,

you know, I definitely don't endorse cannonballing. The people that do it seemingly are good. I know some of them. They seem to be good drivers. They seem to be well-prepared. There's never been a really major accident that I've ever heard about. And they do it in a way that they're able to avoid being caught. And then there's other fun ones too.

There are vintage cannonballs where you got to use a car pre-1980 or whatever. That I'm interested in. Yeah, that seems like actually a little more interesting and fun. That's true of all motorsports if you ask me. Because one of the reasons I don't care for F1 because it's – I don't know. Those aren't really cars anymore at some point. It's like, man, y'all have just, you put wheels on a plane and you change the aerodynamics.

You flip the wheels upside down. Yeah, you change the aerodynamics so it can't fucking take off. And now you've strapped these poor little Italian men in them and you pay them millions of dollars a year to risk their lives. I'm not super into that. And don't think of me as a redneck NASCAR guy because, like, Jesus, turn left some more, bro. I get it.

NASCAR on road courses is where it's at. NASCAR on road courses is very good. That's very good entertainment. I was the lone Jeff Gordon fan growing up. So when they would go out west and hit the road courses, I was, I was always like, yeah,

see, this is how you do it. Now we see who knows how to drive. It was, it was a, that was a, that was always fun. But I like when they're handicapped in some way,

like, like sure. I would, I would like to like, like now we're only going to drive cars between 1970 and 1971 made in a very specific region of Germany. And it's like, wait,

what? Well, there's all there's all different kinds of um vintage racing out there uh most of it's not like broadcast on tv but yeah there is some really interesting stuff um goodwood um they have um some really good stuff just on their instagram let me uh it's a Goodwood RRC, Goodwood Road and Racing. And that's, that's in England, the Goodwood Circuit. And that's all about vintage racing.

And just the clips they post on their Instagram are fucking sick. Dude's racing cars from the twenties in the rain, like fully locked up sideways. I mean, it's so good. I follow that Goodwood revival and fos goodwood which is the festival of speed um that's a hill climb they do every year um the goodwood shit on instagram you guys a must follow because they've got you know lamar cars from the 60s and 25 million dollar ferraris and then shit from the 20s that looks like you

know carts yeah oh the saloon class yeah we've got the salute that's awesome lotus and ford saloon class racing and to me like like that's the sort of thing that that might we might actually get to the bottom of who's the better driver i don't and maybe that's not even the point of most motorsports maybe people don't care who's the better driver but like maybe it's not even the point of most motorsports. Maybe people don't care who's the better driver. Maybe it's just about the spectacle of the race. Some do, but there's a national pride. There's a manufacturer thing that's sort of just like a team in there. And and there are you know in nascar specifically uh it's where the cars really are more of the same it's uh it is more about the driver in formula one it could be

by the manufacturer or the country um in le mans it's certainly about the manufacturer more so than the driver itself nascar is i think a little more about the driver indy car is certainly about the driver because all the indy cars are literally the same um but uh there's a you know there's a new nascar this year they have a brand new car oh and a new generation yeah and it's a pretty neat thing actually i just went to that i was at the race they had at the la coliseum did you guys see that there was a race in the football stadium the la coliseum did you guys see that there was a race in the football stadium they built a fucking track now that you mention it i uh i saw it i think i saw just a screenshot from the race maybe there's a crash and uh i did remember thinking like that doesn't look like the cars that i remember wow that does look slick

there's the new cars it does look nice nice. There's actually quite a lot of differences beyond just the looks. They have sequential gearboxes now instead of a traditional H-pattern manual gearbox. They have 18-inch wheels with center-lock tires instead of the 15-inch wheels they had before with the five lug nuts. So it used to be do-do-do-do-do-do. They so it used to be now they hit it once once they hit it once just like uh just like i don't like that one i like that's very cool no but here's the thing though like like the more complicated a pit stop is the more skill it requires to perfect one right so like like we see this in in like video game speed runs right like if it was a very easy thing to do then the speed run would get down to like the base minimum

but everyone would have the same score like yeah we all do it in three seconds i feel like you just describe electric cars doing zero to sixty yeah exactly yeah they're all fucking dragsters yeah well i don't mean that's a that's an argument. I mean, people have made the argument you just made that going from the five lug nuts to the center lock one, it makes it less interesting. But then again, how many fans give a fuck about Richard Childress' team's left rear tire changer guy? They recruited him out of Bama.

I found him in a little mom and pop store. He was zipping them off so fast they couldn't believe it. Do any of those people cheer for the get that tire off? I've never been to a NASCAR. They do, but the car is so loud I can't hear them. I don't know. The race is loud as fuck.

How funny would that be if the one guy had a gun in each hand? Those cars also, they've different a little bit different layout they are much more like um in australia they have a series called v8 supercar um which is a really neat series it's it's almost like watching nascar on the road courses where they turn left and right and and and the cars mostly the same, but they're a little more advanced than NASCAR's, and these new cars are a lot like those V8 supercars. It seems like they're pretty cool, actually. I get your point, Kyle, about the five lug nuts, but it's been interesting,

and it'll probably get more uniform as we get throughout the season but it's been interesting watching the teams like learn in real time like how to do fucking pit stops on these things uh and the pit stops are getting faster for sure yeah oh i bet to do yeah i bet for sure i like it when it's uh when it's dangerous as well so like me too that's why the vintage racing is fun yeah and and maybe that's not maybe that's not a cool thing to say because you know we have lost some like fucking drivers over the years occasionally and yeah but uh man it's hilarious it's not cool to say that you like watching crashes and then like the compilation highlight reel will be like fucking two minutes

and just crash it's like how dare you now watch this like not once in that compilation will be like fucking two minutes and just crash. It's like, how dare you? Now watch this. Not once in that compilation will be someone doing a slick move and coming from the outside and darting in and outplaying somebody and going for the win. Oh my god, he moved up so far with those last 18

laps. Every lap he gained an inch and then he won. That was actually what was really cool about that football stadium thing, the L.A. Coliseum, was because you could see the entire track. It was right there. You could actually watch as someone gained a couple of feet per lap, and that actually made it, as an in-person spectator, quite interesting. Yeah.

I don't know what NASCAR would have to do or any racing sport to get me as a fan fan because it's got – I don't know. Have you ever tried to survive on Netflix? No. I recommend that. That has been really good for Formula One, and because it tells you the whole backstory and the narrative of what's going on with the drivers and the teams, especially the ones outside the top three. It's really good. I mean, it's a very well-made series,

and it's done amazing things for Formula One's viewership, for people who are not the frontrunners that necessarily would get all the traditional media coverage. And the fourth season premieres tomorrow, I think, Friday. See, I like white trash sports, though. I need some... Respect, respect. I need some... Respect. I need some drama involved.

There's a guy named Cletus McFarlane. Do you know him? No, but I love him already. Is that the Simpsons character? It might as well. It sounds like a Simpsons name, doesn't it? He's a YouTuber. Brian Dane, bring me some more food for our 11K.

Pretty much. No, this motherfucker bought a racetrack in florida like a dilapidated racetrack and has uh youtuber uh races like he literally buys fleets of crown victorias and has fucking pay-per-view straight up pay-per-view and sells tickets to spectators and has youtubers and professional racing drivers and personalities come race crown vix there's one i don't know if it's this way it's like there's one in a couple i think april 1st it's called the freedom 500 that's awesome how you don't know this fucking guy i'm shocked because this guy and you would get right along. This motherfucker bought a tank. He bought one of those, that rip saw thing off of Kanye. You know that rip saw tank?

No. You know what a rip saw is? Not off the top of my head, no. Zach, get us a photo of a rip saw, because it's pretty fucking amazing. It's like if you took a tank and made a sports car, a sports car tank. Oh, this is awesome. He owns this? Yeah.

He bought it off of Kanye. He bought it off of Kanye? Yeah, he did. He actually bought it off of Kanye. Yeah, that's it. It's like a two-seater sports car tank. That's absurd. That looks like one of the futuristic fighting vehicles

that the US is making right now. Kind of, yeah. It's not armed in any way. It's only for hooning and going around and going fucking around with. I gotta say, this picture looks fake as shit though. I believe that the man has one but this picture in particular,

I don't know, the scale seems off. This looks like a miniature. It looks like pictures miniature. It looks like force perspective. Look at the gravel under it. I think it's like iPhone portrait mode or something. But that is basically what it looks like. And this dude, his real name's Garrett,

but he's fucking figured out his hustle, man. He's got this racetrack he's having these youtuber races he's just fucking fucking around i mean doing all the kinds of shit you'd want to do if you had a racetrack to play with and then oh by the way he bought a tank you know i was going to ask if you if you knew anybody who did that because it whatever's going on uh whenever this thing in Ukraine ends, however it ends, there might be

an enormous amount of tanks for sale. Oh, dude, you've seen Operation Odessa, right? No, I don't know what... What? Get the fuck out of here. You don't know what this is? No, it's a documentary about this guy who was like a fucking coke runner in

Miami and owned like a strip club. I think his name was fucking, he had a hilarious Tarzan. His name was Tarzan, I think. And he helped buy, after the fall of the USSR, helped buy Soviet military equipment for Pablo Escobar, up to and including a nuclear submarine. That's a big get.

How you guys haven't seen this story. No, I haven't seen it. They're buying choppers. They're buying tanks. And then they eventually, not to give away, it's a documentary, they eventually all get arrested and go to prison

where they attempt and are basically successful i mean they're not successful in getting the submarine from russia to columbia but they are successful in meeting with ex-soviet brass and negotiating a price and picking a sub. And like they were about to get a fucking nuclear submarine for Pablo Escobar. That's ridiculous. And the guy's fucking name is Tarzan. His name was Ludwig Tarzan Feinberg, which is a very out of left field.

It doesn't rhyme with his name. No, but when you see a photo of him, he really looks like a Tarzan. Honestly, it was, I don't know if it's still on Netflix. It wasn't before,

but it is fucking bad shit, but you're right. It's like, it's what you're talking about, but 25 years ago. Yeah. I got to look into that now. It's crazy.

Oh, I get the Tarzan. This guy had tremendously thick, luscious locks of hair for many years. Yes. I think right now, if I set my mind to it, I could have a tank in three days. I think if I flew to Ukraine and they would have me, and they allow you to come. There's a whole website to coordinate. It's like, you want to come fight some Ruskies? You click yes, I'm from Denmark.

They're like, then it changes to your language of choice and you start signing up for how to join the Ukrainian resistance army. They get you there and they army and they send you in. It seems like if I could get there and from whatever, everything CNN has told me and i believe

them there's just russian tanks lying about if i've got a jerry can full of diesel a jumper cable and and like a little bit like five youtube videos i feel like i can have a t-72 it's what do you mean how am i gonna get it home i'm gonna drive that's true it's a tank who's gonna stop you yeah well we're gonna start flying that ukraine one of the guys with the anti-tank rockets might so i gotta let them know right away that you know it was just a bit and the character was was russian but i'm not they need to know that right away i'm gonna wear just a blue and yellow track no camo a shirt that just says it was a bit guys yeah. In Russian, is it appropriate?

I thought more people would understand professional Russian as a joke. Look, if this had happened 10 years ago, I would have went, I think, for the sake of making videos. I really think I would have. And I'm so surprised that nobody's cool enough on YouTube to do that anymore. I was Jake Paul not already there. I feel like Jake Paul is setting up the boxing match with Putin. I would have, and I'm so surprised that nobody's cool enough on YouTube to do that anymore. I feel like Jake Paul is setting up a boxing match with Putin. Yeah, he's all good.

He's all good. He just beats the ever-loving shit out of Putin in a YouTube boxing match. Did he fuck off to Puerto Rico? Jake Paul? I have no idea. I think he dipped out to Puerto Rico. I think he was like, fuck these taxes, I'm going to go to Puerto Rico. I think he was like, fuck these taxes. I'm going to go to Puerto Rico.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Zach says him and Logan went to Puerto Rico. Nice. It's a family thing. They got rid of those taxes. And it was right before they started really making money, too, with those $8 million, $10 million deals for boxing.

Yeah. That's crazy. Good for him. Probably living in a giant. If it was 10 years ago and you went to get a tank in Russia, I'd watch that video. I can't believe... Look, YouTubers used to be a little more hardcore. I'm shocked that

nobody has gone. Nobody's vlogging from Ukraine right now daily and doing cool shit. I'm just saying you are missing out on so much money. So much money. I'm a felon. It's hard for me. I can't even remember the password

to my YouTube channel. I can't upload anyway. Take advantage of this, boys. Somebody needs to be over there right now doing a silly accident talking about killing Russians. Make your character. Make a prank video over there. Go prank russian soldier if you just did like first person you know go pros all over you just turn yourself into like like a oculus like an oculus filming

ultimate grenade prank 100 million views i'm'm waiting to see Google Street View driving through Kiev. That's what I got. There's no reason to not go. I mean, you could die, right? There's a couple reasons. People risk their lives for less all the fucking time. I've never been to Ukraine.

What if I don't like the food? Jose Andres is over there. Waste a trip? Waste a trip? I'm't like the food? Jose Andres is over there. Waste a trip? Waste a trip? I'm here for the culture. I refuse to let the world events dictate my vacation plans. So you want to hear about the least important story of this war? Sure.

Porsche gets the material for their ceramic brakes from the Ukraine. And so Porsche has run out of ceramic brakes. You know, there was a couple other industries that are hurt by Ukraine's exports. And it's really specific, little niche things like that.

And it's easy to be like, oh, who cares? The Porsche guys don't get their brakes. It's like, come on. Let them get their brakes. Come on. There's lots of little things like that. Here's why I know this. You're a Porsche guy who needs some brakes? Yeah, because I can't get brakes.

I'm sure. Shocker. Did you guys see that my car that I ordered was on the boat that fucking caught on fire and sank? Are you kidding me? I'm so sorry. my car was first melted in a lithium fire and then it was it's now it's now resting at the bottom of the fucking what kind of car was it a box or spider a brand new one yeah oh how much brand new built for me like 120 grand it's yeah expensive yeah it's expensive

holy shit yeah so what are they they they get you back yeah they're gonna build me another one yeah of course he can't be responsible for the ship going down no it's in i didn't pay for it yet they were like did you it is with a heavy heart we inform you. Did you buy the boat insurance? What are you fucking talking... The boat insurance for your car. Yeah. Fortunately, the boat has the boat insurance. Dearest Matthew, we've encountered

calamity on the high seas. With a heavy heart, we regret to inform you. Orson was not... Yeah they they were all uh you know sorry um but then you know they're going to replace you at the car right and then they and then which is okay you know i don't i don't i don't i don't really care there's people who have real fucking problems right now not me having to wait for a car and uh and then they ran out of ceramic and so i can't get ceramic brakes now fortunately i was able to buy ceramic brakes from a guy okay black market dealer they were actually they were supposed to go on a ukrainian tank they ripped them right off of it sent them to matt

couldn't help but notice your little brake problem. Suppose, hypothetically, someone could procure this for you? Yeah, there's a guy who's got the, interestingly, the guy, the people who go to racetracks a lot, the track day people, they take the ceramic brakes off and they put steel brakes on because the steel brakes are a lot less expensive to replace if you wear them out. And so the guy who builds the race cars actually had a set of brand new ceramic brakes that I was able to buy. And so when my new car arrives, we can put them on here. Yeah, they ran out of strength brakes. I saw that cargo ship go up, and it was just such a shame to see. I didn't want to look into what cars were on there.

Oh, there's a lot. Because I was just imagining, it doesn't matter. Just imagine so many precious, beautiful things that got burned up. Do they know the cause of the fire like oh yeah what eight dollar light lithium batteries yeah it's an ev fire yeah yeah okay but you guys electric cars are good for the environment right until they're fucking not i don't 1100 porsches were on board total Total value, $335 million. 1,100 Porsches. There was 1,500 Audis.

There was a bunch of Lamborghinis. Have they done a net CO2 emission thing for an EV vehicle? Because it takes X amount of CO2 emissions, if we're going to use that as a barometer, to make the battery. Right. How long do you have to drive it before you start saving the world? So it gets a little tricky. And we're assuming the car doesn't burn to the ground, by the way.

That's a different story. That's a huge... You have to average those in. Yeah. Assuming normal operations. in yeah assuming normal operations um it actually your net co2 depends on what state you live in because states that you know it makes the math complicated because if you live in california and your your electrical power comes from a cleaner source versus living somewhere that's burning fucking coal it's a it's a it's a bit of a different thing god damn it cases most cases it's cleaner to drive an ev total than it is to

drive a inefficient gas car if you're talking about a very efficient gas car like a corolla you know you know the real problem though is that doesn't fucking matter anyway because the percentage of co2 emissions that come from like i don't know american cars don't just a drop in a bucket to drop well yeah i mean it's a global problem it is it's a global problem we all fucking obviously but it's too late it's too late i don't know if obviously share it. But it's too late. It's too late. I don't know if it's too late. Never say never. It's too late.

I don't know why. Why don't we know? Come on, dude. I don't know why nobody wants to give up on this yet. Just give up on it? Double down? No, don't double down. Don't double down.

I'm not saying that. There was a lot of climate deniers that took a real big leap from it's not real to it's real but it's too late so fuck it like there's a lot of people i never understood climate deniers because i was indoctrinated from like kindergarten we i remember this this like video we watched with like pennies stacking up to explain co2 emissions because a kid can understand a penny and it's like this like when we get 18 we all die or something like that i don't remember what the what the moral of the story was but i remember at four and a half five and a half years old being like the world's getting hotter because of like burning things and making smoke

and we need to burn less things so like and uh from from five i knew that as american 35 do you remember this like i remember getting those lessons also i'm a little younger than you but i remember like the end point of like and calamity happens whatever year they told us i remember my thought being like this is bullshit why am i even in school what what am i learning for like can i grandma we're gonna die anyway the world's gonna end just do art but i'm gonna get my high school diploma and then walk out into the sea and drown like that's what they made it sound like and i'm like this is bullshit shouldn't we learn boat building now yeah it seems like math is a thing

of the past unless we're you know building an ark that's what we need to be doing yeah you're still teaching me about fucking you know my honest opinion on the thing is that that like china and india these like multi-billion people countries that are trying to like catch up china's pretty much there with gdp yeah they're trying to like catch up industrially speaking and it's they're not done with the dirty part of their economy yet and we're not quite finished with ours to give you the real timeline of what's actually going to happen. No matter what happens, China is not going to turn it off. In some cases, like with electric cars, like electric cars might make our urban air cleaner. And that's okay.

That's good. I like, you know, cleaner urban air cleaner and that's okay that's good i like you know cleaner urban air is good but we're outsourcing our filth to wherever the lithium mines are you know and and and so it's i'm okay with that i don't i don't really like that i want to be clear that like i'm neither on the left nor the right of this issue i'm on the greed part of i'm the kyle side of the issue if you're telling me i can get cleaner air and someone else has to deal with a lithium mine okay great fucking deal sounds sounds like someone already this is convincing this is a good this is why it's good to be an american because somewhere along the way taylor someone sat across from a negotiation table and they were like all right we get the clean air and you get the lithium mines deal and somehow or another the united states made sure that the other guy said yeah yes sir

you don't want to do that well we already have 14 military bases in all your key cities you're not wrong uh on the other hand and the flip side of that is equally selfishly, I drive an electric car not because I think it will save the planet, because I think it's fucking nice. It's just nice. It's smooth and it's fast and it's fucking quiet and, you know, I charge it at my house and the experience of driving it is fucking nice. As far as the environmental stuff, I think that we need to definitely need to cut up. Whenever I see a goddamn plastic straw stuck in a turtle's nose, I feel so goddamn

bad because I go through so many straws a day, like dozens. It's probably mine. We're finally here in California. I cut them into little pieces. If you do, good for you. No, it makes it so much worse what I do is I reinforce my six pack can holders

I'll cut the six pack I put wire around it those little fucking turtles won't know what hit them you fucking barbed wire the six pack holder that's fucked up. Just the most evil person you could be. Just evil.

There's literally nothing to gain. You know what was extremely pimp? When I was in Italy a couple years ago and they used pasta as straws. Fucking tube of pasta. Yeah. I've seen those

I've seen some stores they have, you know, the six pack of pasta. It sticks to my lips. It sticks to your lips. I've seen some stores, they have the six-pack holder that almost looks like cardboard. I've seen those. You don't have to cut those. I'm fine with shit like that, but I'm not fine

with the paper straws. Paper straws are terrible. It doesn't work. You have to sprint through your drink, and if you don't sprint through your drink, you need a new paper straws. Paper straws are terrible. It doesn't work. You have to sprint through your drink, and if you don't sprint through your drink, and you need a new paper straw every time, sticks to your lips. What if you tried to reuse your paper straw after drinking milk?

You'd probably get sick. How bad would it smell on day two? Or the environment. We got metal straws in my house, and we refrigerate them joints. It's kind of nice. Okay. Refrigerating straws is luxurious,

especially for like a, like if you had like some sort of fancy milkshake or something. Yeah. I've seen, that's when I've seen metal straws. The metal drink holder is, is the way to go. The metal water bottle last forever.

And it's a weapon. That's now the weapon parts. True. I like that. Yeah. It's, it's a weapon. Now, the weapon part's true. I like that. Yeah. It's 42 ounces and it's made of steel. You could fuck somebody up with that. Well, it's 42 ounces of capacity. What are you going to put in there? You've got to weight that thing down. You've got to

plug somebody up. Lithium batteries. Now you're making a bomb. So, I remember we were doing this thing in Texas and I was with batteries mine didn't happen now you're making a bomb dude i've seen so so i remember um we were doing this thing um in texas and i was with a youtuber called richard ryan and a big part of he had these uh super high speed cameras before anybody had them they were quarter million bucks each and um so he would he would shoot like expensive shit and record it in

high speed and it'd be a big video like like the the brand new iphone that everybody stood in line for he'd shoot it with a 50 bmg and like 5 000 frames per second and so the simplicity of it is just i love it i just love the i love the simplicity of those ideas like the will it blend guy loved it sure so we were uh we were doing that out in texas and he shot one of those hoverboards that are just, you know, the two wheeled electric scooter thing. The lithium fire that it made was so fucking scary. Keep in mind, I was there. I just had driven a tank. I just had driven a tank through a house.

I just had driven a tank through a house and then they sealed me inside of it. And then they blew the house up on top of me. And then we went outside. And the scariest thing I saw that day was that fucking hoverboard going off. It was so fucking scary because it was that it was a combination of like fireworks out. Or did it just it did. I've seen like a main power line go down. And so I've seen those big arcs of plasma before.

It was like arcs of plasma but mixed with kids fire crackers going off it was so scary shit was popping off and moving around and big blue fireballs and it's so goddamned hot there was a crash uh with a tesla i think it was a year or so ago and it's on video from someone's dash cam and the tesla is fucking mobbing through this residential neighborhood and hits a fucking double yump and bottoms out twice and then fears left into a house and explodes i don't want to laugh because the guy died but it was no it explodes like the 4th of July. You filled it with fireworks. And it was just lithium cells going all over the place. And it was one of the gnarliest car fires I've ever seen.

Those things have always been scary. Anybody who's ever like... Anybody listening, what you never ever want to do is take the battery out of an old cell phone and hit it with a hammer. You would never ever want to do that. That's a bad thing to do. Would just the impact of it start a massive fire? Massive fire. It'll start

cooking slow and then it'll hit that chain reaction point and the fizzling and then it just goes off because if it's it crushes those cells together or something and it just starts heating up hotter and hotter and hotter and eventually because with this car fire like i didn't know if it was we still do that all the time generated by bottoming out or what it was that actually you know caused oh god knows in a Tesla. How big is that? Like, like I'm talking about cell phone, cell phone batteries are scary. Like Tesla is like 68. A model three is like 6,800 laptop batteries. Oh my God.

I had no idea it was that big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Has this happened multiple times where it went up? Yes. Like in a Tesla? Yes.

Holy shit. That's scary. I don't want to say it's common, but like, yeah, you just Google Tesla fire and I, and I don't want to say it's common but like yeah if you just google tesla fire and i and i don't want to purely single out tesla although it's anything with a giant they do catch fire they do catch fire more than the other one but the book but but the boat that fucking my car was on

you know that had volkswagen id4s that had audi e-tron GTs, and it had Porsche Taycans. Now, had the boat made it to where they were towing it and they could investigate, you could find out which it was that actually started it. But now that that fucker is on the bottom of the ocean, we'll never know. I don't know. There might be enough money involved that they go down there and find out, depending on how deep it is. Oh, dude dude someone emailed someone emailed me and i it was one of the dumbest emails i've ever gotten in my life and they wanted me to fund some kind of search search expedition to fucking salvage shit off this boat and they were

like i will need one hundred thousand dollars u.s for a search center. To dive down and bring the car back? It was beyond stupid. It depends how deep it is. It's deep. It's 1,000 meters. You're not getting nothing. It was a lithium fire for four days. What are you going to burn up?

Bring up a bunch of melted fucking nothing? A little historical fact that i think i still remember i think the lusitania went down in water that was more shallow than the boat was long so so so like there are those places out there where it's like oh yeah let's just park up here and scuba down and grab a bunch of like i don't know like like the emblems off of every mercedes or something will be there there's $500. Yeah, we're just scuba.

Let's do it. Let's go all day. There, yeah. I mean, if the boat just, if the boat hit a fucking iceberg and sank in 200 feet, you know, you might, there might be some kind of argument that going down there and salvaging something could be worthwhile but after a four-day lithium fire i can't possibly imagine i guess i've never like looked at that closely at lithium fires i'm watching a compilation of top tesla fires yeah these like i've seen cars

on fire these are malicious angry fires that like i watched the fucking firemen just sit there and just hard scope with a doesn't matter for for 35 seconds and all it did was piss the Tesla off he needs an earth he needs an earth Pokemon he can't use that water elemental dude I just saw I just saw a guy undoubtedly die

on the highway from an explosion bigger than anything in the most recent Batman by an order of magnitude. It is. I think he killed the person in the center next to him. Like there, there's no, he didn't even get the door cracked. It was like,

boom. Like the wild. I mean, there is, you know, and that's, it's not unique to Tesla. I don't want to unfairly crap on Tesla.

I have lots of fair reasons to shit on Tesla. They do an unbelievably shady job with a lot of things they do you know what my favorite this is that's just an that's evs overall you put a giant fucking battery nobody has magic batteries everybody building evs right now does it the same way with a bunch of lithium basically laptop batteries fucking racked together so there's no there's no magic formula yeah they need one though they need they need to figure something out um that's that's a little bit better they're finally the range now that's scary like like the thing that ev has figured out okay we're good on range we figured the range thing out yeah and actually

we're good on range and we're good on chargers near major interstates. What we're not good at is the number of high-speed chargers, and we're not good at the reliability of the chargers. The Tesla supercharger network is very good. And because it's only for one brand, your credit card and all your bullshit goes in the car, and so all you got to do is pull up, plug in, and it's just done, whereas the other stuff, the Electrify America, the Charge Points and all that stuff,

because it's a bunch of different brands, you have to have an account with an app, and that app could suck, and the paying for the charge is – I think that Biden mentioned something. I think they mentioned in the State of the Union that they were going to work more on the charge of the stations and the infrastructure bill. Yeah. So that would be good. It would be helpful, yeah.

It doesn't matter until we're getting the electricity that goes into it from a clean place. I'm okay with where the lithium mines are. Zach, could you tell me what hell hole – Where does lithium come from? Where does lithium come from? Don't say Russia. Because the answer is no, it doesn't anymore. It doesn't come from there anymore.

And we also want to see subsidies for owners of apartment buildings to install chargers in apartment buildings. Taylor. Africa. I'm guessing Africa too. It looks like it's mined mostly in Australia and South America. And more than 97%

is refined in China. It looks like China's taking care of all the... Sweet! Well, at least if we're banking on it, we can trust them to provide us with a steady stream. All right, China's got our back. You think China would tactically withhold a useful resource sometime in the future? You're crazy!

How does China have 97%? I have to admit, I did not think of nor know about Australia. That one, I probably should have known i didn't know that one i mean that's that's like america too like we've got that you know they're they're down i think of australians as like part of the southeast of the united states they're like no i got it they plug in right into the gulf of mexico that's australia like if you plug them if you just took australia and stuck it into the Gulf of Mexico. That's Australia. If you just took Australia

and stuck it into the Gulf of Mexico, everybody would be chill. They speak the same language. Same language. Same culture, really. Same culture. I love Australia. I haven't been in a long time, but last time I went, I had a great fucking time. What a cool place.

Yeah, they haven't had enough time to come up with a culture, unlike us Americans. Unlike us Americans. How long has Australia been a thing? Longer than us, I think. Well, but weren't they extant as a prison colony for many years? Yeah. And that's why they're

so into rugby and stuff now. They're going to get that pent-up aggression. Top of shit, dude. I think they still have the queen on their money right dude there's like a hundred countries with the queen on it's money yay imperialism are they

gonna move on to the next figurehead after she dies in the next few days cause she's 110 or are they just gonna be like you know we've had the money on there enough Kyle I don't think Australia's gonna to fit in the Gulf, bro. Yeah, but all of Australia is covering about 30 states. If my magic allows me to put Australia in the Gulf of Mexico physically,

then it also allows me to shrink it. It looks like Tasmania would fit in the nook of Georgia and Alabama. You could shrink Australia by 95%, and it would take their country weeks to notice. All right, but show me where the population centers of Australia are. It's where Florida is right now. It's all on the coast of Florida up to Pennsylvania, I think. Yeah, we don't need the whole thing.

I think Australia might have the population of California. It might. I don't know if it does, but I think it might. Take that down. It's blinding. What a horrible picture. Not the picture itself, the choice of the graph maker. Hot pink. Not ideal. Not good.

Last time I was on the show, I taught you guys about Judaism. Has anyone converted yet? Not yet, but we're still trying to find... The main thing we admitted was we wanted to steal the holidays off. yes and we should that's what's that uh you know you know um what's the thing where they put the the ash on your forehead it's that's catholic that's catholic that's ash so so like so like that resident religion expert so like that's the catholicism is a real foreign concept to me from being from the south because there's the only thing there's like no jews or catholics here like we got rid

of all of them at some point um and yet the blacks remain like like it shows you the stick-to-itiveness of the african-american because i'm i guarantee that like they tried to get rid of them too but for some reason there's no catholics and no no Jews. I never knew any of them growing up. And so whenever I see them with the ash thing, I had no idea. I thought Biden was dirty the other day. Are you serious? I saw Biden and I was like, oh, that poor old fella. You got a little schmutz.

Somebody clean the president up. Look how sooty Mr. President is. He was just playing by his toys by the fireplace, and he didn't have this. I thought he'd fallen into some dirt. I was going to play with my toys in the lawn. Well, just the other night, I went down the rabbit hole of the stramble, the rabbit hole of the the stramble which is the

Hasidic fur hat the cylindrical fur hat they wear yes and I went I went down the fucking rabbit hole this fucking thing and these hats are like $5,000 Jesus Christ they're made of like sable

fur oh yeah like that I think it looks it looks good who is this a picture of this this is oh okay it says right below that's a generic rabbi rabbi dress someone who's unbelievably jewish dude why does he look so much like dumbledore that it hurts they got him in a real bad day honestly he's wearing like an emerald robe and and like he looks like he's worried about some wizard drama or something six thousand dollar hat water out of a plastic cup right well but well but look this the if you look at a modern one i'll put a picture up of a modern one spectacles under his modern ones are are like real serious and and you so you wear the hasidim the

very very religious jews they wear them instead of wedding rings and they're given like a dowry like from the bride the bride's family gives the the husband to be the groom to be one of these fucking hats because they don't do wedding rings or engagement rings. This article is about fighting the ban on fur. Well, that's because they're made of fur. No shit, look at that thing. It looked like the animal

was in pain when they made that hat. They have to keep it alive. Like that's required. But then also, if you want to see some like really i just said the leg there's like really offensive costume versions of it that are like basically made of rolled up bath mats but it comes with the little uh like this this guy right here like i don't think he's a jew i don't think this guy i don't know i think they photoshopped this because if i was that guy i would not be that

happy to have that it's clear can you can you imagine that you're this guy's photoshop yeah he showed up one day and they're like all right just smile now we need you to frown we need you to look up and open your mouth a gas all. All right. Well, thanks for working with Shutterstock. And now he's got us. I think this guy's chest hair and eyebrows are also Photoshopped to make him. To make him. Who's buying this? I don't know.

But now I finally kind of want a strangle. You should go for it. They're like four G's on Etsy, dude. They're fucking mad expensive. That'll help assuage your pain from the Porsche. That'll help. What if I just started wearing one of these in the videos? I would love it.

And then if people call you on it, you could be like, that's bigotry and I won't accept it. I'll be like, L'chaim, brother. Yeah. You must be new to the channel because my Judaism isism is part and parcel of who i am i still wear my bar mitzvah bracelet bro 30 years i've been rocking that shit damn yeah it's got the deal on the back and everything 11 13 94 baby we've talked about that 28 years that's how. I think that's how we got down the rabbit hole of Jews last time. Yeah, because what is there? There's the bar mitzvah, 13 for Jews.

There's quinceanera for I don't know what countries do that. Latinos. Yeah, at least some Latino countries do that. We don't have anything. Who's we? Like just a random, normal, average white guy. Why are you struggling with white?

Just to have a... Don't you get baptized? Black people don't have it either. They don't have a quinceanera or a sweet 16. I guess sweet 16, but that's only for really rich people. Sweet 16s are... Yeah, that's just a a at what age can you be tried as an adult girl congratulations you're going to the big boy prison this

no more choo-fee for you have a party for that yeah no if you have a sweet 16 you are a one percenter for sure yeah absolutely do you remember my super sweet 16 remember that fucking show that show was just made to hate white people that show was well there there i mean yes but there were some very privileged black people on that show as well. Yeah, it was. Yeah. You know what, though? There weren't enough black people on that show. I feel like they did that thing that cops did where cops was.

First, what happened with cops? Cops used to just go out and they would film for like two weeks with like three different cops in an area. And then whatever they take, the best shit they got. And then they like throw it on Fox. Holy shit. Cops, cops bad boys what you want then they were like guys we've noticed that you haven't arrested a white person ever 40 whatever the demographics of the area you're filming in that's how many whites blacks and latinos you lock up from now on and so now you've got this episode where some rowdy asian man is like getting taken in and he's like what is this all about your accounting didn't add up what why

on tv like sorry had to even out the episode white white collar crop that cops like we need some we need to get some financial improprieties going on this bitch i'm almost positive they took it off the air i i think during like they did black oh no they 100 fucking did and probably rightfully so i mean well like maybe but but like it was a documentary more than anything right like like it is the way i saw it well it's a documentary but it was like what are they what do they choose what are they choosing to make air you know is, you think it was a bit of propaganda because they were skewing the facts. I think a little bit. Yeah, I do think a little bit. I prefer Cheaters.

Cheaters is pure entertainment. Remember when he got stabbed on the boat? That's a YouTube video. I mean, honestly. Wait, what? You don't know about Cheaters? I've never watched cheaters. There's a show called Cheaters where this douchebag Chris Hansen knockoff guy is like, this time on Cheaters, we're going to ruin Marco's life.

Marco's getting a little side pussy. And Diane sent us to see if we could find out something. So they send in private investigators and hidden cameras and shit. And they catch Marco cheating every which way but loose. All the evidence they can get. They got everything. They got files and folders. You know what I mean? They roll up.

Then they go to the girlfriend and they're like, here's the evidence, ma'am. It's damning evidence every time. They make this poor girl watch a fucking iPad of this dude fucking railing some other chick on their couch. They fuck her right there. And then they wait until like boyfriend is cheating again.

He'll be at like a nice restaurant, like on a patio or something. He's had this reservation for six weeks. They roll up. It's your birthday and he's out with her they roll up like seal team six two cameramen the lights the microphone and our douchebag of a host with the the wronged like you know husband or wife in tow and they know they're on tv and they have been getting them like you know like when you're down by six and you're in the locker room and the coach has to

come up with something to say to fire you up to get you out there. That's what they've been doing to this woman in the van over there for the last 45 fucking minutes. He humiliated you in front of the world. He took your love and he shit on it. He gave

her your towels he didn't he said her pussy was better in a text he said he said your pussy was dry as the sahara desert i didn't see that text tried we didn't he said you had split it he said he said your weave was shitty like getting them like pumped up and when they open that fucking van door that sliding door it's like the rodeo when they throw open the fucking gate she's on his ass and like there's a there's a fight right it's like a gladiator when the fucking lion comes out of the coliseum after being starved for a fucking month sometimes sometimes people are half naked when it when the fight begins sometimes sometimes like the the the sometimes the rage is focused just on the the the husband who's been doing the cheating but sometimes the the the side

chick gets it too it's always wild well one time they what i think they do is like they sort of like tinker with this other person's life to get them in scenarios that are fun to ambush them in like oh hey look here's a free dinner at you know a nice restaurant oh you think you think conspiracy you think they give them all you've won a gift certificate to mastro stick house you could you could just put you could just put it in the mailbox right and you can make sure that they ended up on a nice date that night well somehow or another this guy is cheating on his like girl on the ocean on the fucking high seas on a boat on a boat international waters so what a big boat it's like probably like a 25 foot

bow rider kind of fucking boat yeah we don't want four or five people in this thing tops like we don't want to get crazy they decide the best move is to roll up on them on the ocean. They get in a chase boat, and they roll up, and they board the vessel. That is insane. Maritime law, bro. I will defend. Their Chris Hansen knockoff guy gets stabbed by the person he's rolling up on. He's not having it.

Fucking shakes him right there on camera but that was a wake-up call and nobody ever like felt too bad about it because he is a real piece of shit he sounds like he is he sounds like a guy he loves i just his name was joey greco that's it joey Greco was the host of fucking cheaters. I'm Joey Greco. And here's, I got the, I got the photo.

I just put on the chat of his face immediately after he was stabbed. And it is his facial expression is incredible. Oh, that's tremendous. I love, I love the reply right below that. It's just a gif of a laughing iguana. The internet is so making it. Life comes at you fast, doesn't it, retard?

Look at the laughing iguana. Season 2, episode 8. Season 2, episode 8. I'm going to write that down gonna write that down to watch one episode of the show i'm gonna watch that retard get stabbed that sounds great you're gonna watch one thing on television tonight please make it fucking that that that show i mean yeah was it was that show better than what was uh it was oh chris hansen was to catch a predator. Yeah, we had him on this show several years ago. It was really fun. Was it amazing?

What was a bummer is he didn't really have a sense of humor about the show. Clearly, the thing is funny. Although, I don't know. I guess it's hard for him to laugh about anything publicly because they had all that drama. I don't know if you're aware, but they caught this one guy. He some kind of like a local politician type guy

he offed himself uh and uh and it became a bit of a controversy that also didn't like none of the fucking charges stick very first couple seasons right no it's it's worse than that taylor so so almost everyone knows that for like the first season there weren't any cops it was more about exposure and humiliation and like don't you try this again the idea would being that like you've turned this guy away from the lifestyle and everyone was like yeah everybody was everybody was like bro get the cops next time and they're like oh we didn't think of that one it would be like if you set up a stolen car sting, but there was no law enforcement involved. They were like, yep, they stole another one of our cars.

We got to stop leaving keys. Criminal confirmed. Have a good day. That's not how you do things. But even still, when they got the police involved, because of the nature of the show, and people might not hear this, but if you don't go out there and start looking for a pedophile, there might

not have been one, is my opinion on this thing. Because there's a lot of creepy guys that are out there who will never do anything, but what they do is they take an adult woman and have her pretend to be a little girl who's who will never do anything, but what they do is they take an adult woman and have her pretend to be a little girl who's just young enough to get this guy in trouble, and she attacks this guy. She flirts with this guy.

She does her best. She does. She seduces this guy. It's an entrapment thing is basically what you want. Maybe if it's not that word. He was entrapped by her feminine wiles. that word he was entrapped by her feminine wiles but but but but they literally are entrapped by by the feminine wiles like they literally are imagine like that's true like because you see the guys who show up to see like i would have

never fucked a 17 year old because no 17 year old has ever come on to me before i'm saying that if the opportunity was there you don't have to use me well first of all 17 is perfectly legal it's that it would be the distribution of any photography that would be a real no-no there i believe uh 16 is actually legal in my state as far as i know um doesn't seem very moral though um but but with the chris hansen thing i think a lot of the charges ended up not sticking um because of like the various ways that they contacted these guys and like how the evidence was handled because i'm not sure that the court is like all right officer stevens could you give me your testimony well first mr hansen from dateline he gave me the evidence wait what

your chain of evidence begins with a tv show host yes ma'am that is correct all right you're free to go mr pedophile yeah and he's just like it like sprints off into the night i can see how that might not hold up yeah yeah you know like like the whole time it was a show that was a hundred percent about entertainment that just masqueraded about kind of caring about justice but like it was about chris hansen like like are you here for sex are you here to fuck a child yeah well it says i just remember there was a car there was a car forum guy that was they caught one guy who was like big on the mustang forums really yeah it was like 96 cobra guy or something was his username and he showed up in

that car and it was like a big deal on the on the mustang forums and it at one point i was a big like mustang person and so i had i i i read about it from the forum side of it and then i saw the episode and and whatever it was the guy was it, and then I saw the episode and whatever it was. The guy was – it was pretty gross. I mean, I remember it, obviously. Now, there are some of those guys there that are there for like – so what the decoy will often do is they'll sort of like be like, hi, I'm generic 14-year-old girl. What's going on? And as soon as they find out what the guy is into that's what they

start saying that they're into right but but and that's how some of these guys show up there like with some crazy nonsense that they're there for and that's the scariest stuff that that i think like when they get to court and they start reading off the transcripts like i think that's when judges start being like, so Mr. Hanson, you've got all the evidence in order? Thank you, sir. Well, looks like you won't be shoving any kittens into 12-year-old girls anymore because I'm shoving you away.

I mean, some of the most shocking ones are the guys who would show up and they'd have in their conversation, like, do you like like have you tried beer before like tee hee I don't know and it'd be like this one a 38 year old man and an 11 year old girl

and he walks in with like a hundred beers just to like try and get her out just pass out helpless drunk or like no I was gonna drink drunk. Or like a big bag of condoms. No, I was going to drink all these. They'll bring so many condoms. Yeah, they'll literally bring

a box of condoms. Here's one. Oh, here we go. This is the one. The episode is The Shiny Mustang. And the username was Hot95CobraGuy. And yeah. is the shiny mustang and the username was hot 95 cobra guy oh and uh yeah it's uh it's not good

we can't show it on the show you can't put youtube in youtube i understand but uh let's see that was the hot 95 cobra guy oh that is a nice cobra oh those uh cragers yeah that car sounds really nice cobra guy says frowny face you're young and i don't want to get in trouble but here he is traipsing into the home following a woman who is beyond obviously in her early 20s like the um the the the mustang forums when he tried to sell his car uh really did not oh we're not but they were not about it dude was anybody at all like but guys but guys he's so great with those things it's really nice i mean i'll be honest there There was another one. There was a guy who got real big on Instagram

for modifying a Ferrari. His name, I can't remember his first name. His last name was Button. His company was Button Built. He had this cool Ferrari he built. It got a lot of Instagram love. something he had this cool ferrari he built it got a lot of instagram love

and then it was and then he had some fucking some charge some some some like rape charges or something came up that that he was involved in and he this motherfucker disappeared off the internet right quick yeah that was the that was one of the cars yeah he had a couple couple ferraris he slammed and stanced out there was a 308 the whole um yeah mitchell button yeah that was him and uh and he he fucking vanished off the internet as soon as people realized what was uh what was in that backstory huh jesus christ no i don't try and get internet famous so you got mad shady shit in your internet fucking past bro that's bad it's a bad move just just disappear well sure i was on to catch a predator 10 years ago but i want to i want to do minecraft let's plays

yeah maybe not that yeah well that's what they'd be interested in right certainly don't put your name on the fucking company, dumbass. I wanted to get Chris Hansen to joke around about it. Rape enterprise. But he was not having any kind of a sense of humor about that. Maybe you can get Joey Greco. Joey Greco might have a sense of humor. All right, let's reach out to Joey Greco.

We should absolutely reach out to him and be like, what did it feel like to get stabbed like an idiot in the middle of the ocean? Yeah. Was it scary when you thought you might die? I have literally never looked for joey greco's instagram but i am now that's not him hang on yeah it was i've seen that episode three or four times because you know so good i can't remember like i think i had a girlfriend once who was like into that show she thought it was funny and uh and i was like this guy's awful, the host.

She's like, yeah, isn't it great? She's like, it's perfect. You need a douchebag to go after other douchebags. He's our douchebag. I kind of got that, but then when he got stabbed, I was like, oh. This is a show that keeps on giving. All the bad guys

got it in this episode. The cheater went to prison. Joey Greco got stabbed. Oh, Joey Greco's on Twitter? I found his Twitter. I'm trying to find it. The Joey Greco. He is on Twitter. He does seem like the kind of guy to have 9,000 followers and try and get his own name hashtag started. What an idiot.

Well, let's see. This dude is Twitter. What's up with his Twitter? Anything interesting on his Twitter? Not really. No. His Twitter feed is full of a bunch of garbage. This guy is so boring. I can't even recommend you follow him.

His Twitter stinks. Well, the most interesting thing about him is that time he got stabbed. If that's the highlight. That's my favorite thing about him is that time he got stabbed. If that's the highlight. That's my favorite thing about him. That's my favorite thing. I just learned about him today, and that's my favorite thing. Because he does seem like a piece of shit to just go into a failing relationship and be like, Hey, this will be good TV.

Let's stoke this and cause emotional damage in people. Well, you know, it was part of that early 2000s, you know, that now we kind of realize that it maybe wasn't the best thing to do with it and it same thing you know with britney spears and with and with people that maybe didn't quite deserve the ire you know you guys watching that pam and tommy thing have you guys seen that shit no no who's pam and tommy pam anderson and tommy lee come on are you fucking serious do you really not i really didn't know who you're how old are you if you 30 if you would have said pam pamela anderson and tommy lee i would have known that okay so pamela anderson

tommy lee you know obviously they have their own careers but they in the 90s made this sex tape that was the fucking big it was the first major celebrity sex tape to be spread on the internet i remember watching it yeah right and i'm 40 so i'm i am at the perfect age to have found this thing at the perfect time right and so but but the the story you know it's it's a very they're they've they've uh it's a it's a dramatic recreation uh series about it and i didn't know that this fucking tape was jacked out of their fucking house by a contractor they stiffed i didn't i didn't know that and so he's kind of the protagonist actually in this story absolutely the later episodes where they where you realize how badly uh pamela anderson was really treated from this whole thing they fucking they've uh i don't have the right words but they've treated her like garbage yeah yeah the whole thing was

terrible um she didn't deserve that and uh i know she said that she's not gonna watch the show if i was her i wouldn't watch that. Yeah, it sucks. There's a thing in episode two where Tommy Lee talks to his own penis for eight minutes and is one of the most awkward moments on television and the penis talks back

which is actually the more awkward part of it. I might skip episode two. I'm probably just going to skip the whole thing. The animatronic penis talks back. You were talking about Britney Spears. Did you see that unhinged Instagram post she made? I tried to find it on her account.

It's deleted, but I found it on Twitter from some random account. I saw her nipple. The one where Star of David. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she like had a Star of David over it, and she wrote, and I'll read what

she said. In a world where it's okay to lock your daughter up and make her work seven days a week, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., no days off, 105 people are in and out of a small trailer home weekly, no private baths, seen naked when changing, drugged, can't even speak or talk, has to be available to the treatment people and show up every day for 10 hours a day. If not, we'll have to stay longer. Never given a date, no sentences here, never given a date on

when you can leave, 9 p.m. bed every night, like eight gallons of blood weekly. This happened to me for four months after i worked for my dad and my family for 13 fucking years i gave my all when i worked only to be literally thrown away i was nothing more than a puppet to my family yet to the public i just performed on stage and did what i was told to do but it was worse than that because i just accepted it and approved and it was approved by the people i love the most looks are deceiving it must have its night i must have it nice on vacations, lol. After 13 years, damn straight, I should go. I was treated less than, demoralized, and embarrassed. Nobody

should ever be treated the way I was. The reason I bring this up is because ending the conservatorship is a huge deal to me, but come on. That's it? They all got away with it? If you've ever been in shock for four months, threatened for your life, you would be upset too. I'm not done. I want justice and won't stop until something is done to those who harmed me and yes i was harmed this is a message to all who have been threatened in their life you are not alone oh i mean that is you know that's a traumatized person oh no no no see you guys have been you guys have been duped so when you take the star of david take the star of David, superimpose it over that image. Now, see, it's a puzzle.

At each point, you want to take that, you want to take that phrase, and you have to assemble those. I've been so blind. I've been so blind to the implications. I 1 million percent believe she was abused. Her behavior, even in the

mid-2000s, where she was losing her mind and shaving her head, she was clearly being abused her behavior like even in the mid-2000s where she was losing her mind and shaving her head like she was clearly being abused and we now know it's way more common than people let on that young girls and young guys are abused in those uh industries well and that was that sort of you know that sort of peak paparazzi before celebrities were able to speak directly to their audiences via social media, but where we still wanted to like know everything about them. It was super voyeuristic and, and fucking creepy. And yeah, Zach, Amanda Bynes, totally same kind of thing. I mean, I don't like, totally same kind of thing i mean i i don't like i don't i i i don't fucking wish i had that at all i hung out with um i got with tom segura all hollywood name drop i hung out with tom seattle tom's a friend and i can call and bert's a friend now which is really fun we're doing this we're

gonna do this two bears racing thing which is gonna be really fucking hilarious um but but tom was like tom's one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. And he invited my wife and I up to Seattle to see his gig for the weekend. And it was like super fun. We did all this really fun stuff and hung out. But before the first night, me and him

just like took a walk and had a coffee in Seattle. And the number of people that stopped him and like he's like, like you know he's famous he's not an a-list but he's pretty well known but the number of people who stopped him i was like i don't want to be that famous that's that this is awful that's terrible i can't imagine what it's like to be that like you know level of famous or people are fainting and crawling on your car. Britney Spears at that time was the most famous person on earth.

Yeah. You don't think so? At least in my world of middle school when she was there. She was the most. Yeah, middle school. She and NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. Yeah, she was top five, for sure top five. And the world was not very kind

to her. I'm very lucky that I get to go to a car show and be famous and then I can leave and I'm not famous anymore. It rules. You get to have your cake and eat it too. Totally selective fame. It's great. even with Tom, I was like, i was like i was like wow you are

you are actually fucking crazy famous like it's i i don't i haven't been outside with joe rogan ever i've only ever hung out with him and in controlled environments but i imagine he'd probably be like that right now as well oh yeah i imagine like he's he's on the level of fame where like i can't imagine he enjoys like going shopping going in public at all he doesn't have to everyone in the country yeah exactly he has earned himself out of those tasks his like his videos like i every once or i don't even know how i found it but it was like he has a whole archery oh that's how I found it when I was getting into archery I found Joe Rogan shooting bows

and like I found videos of him doing like the meat master or whatever the fuck that guy's name is where they go hunting and shit but I found this other one where he had like fucking some UFC fighter and he has a I guess attached to his podcast studio a 60 yard shooting area for bows.

And then a like $30,000, like 4K looking projector with like different areas where they can shoot. And it was like, this is such a cool level of wealth of him being like, what do I like? I love archery. Where do I practice? Can't do it in public. I'll drop i like i love archery yeah where do i practice can't do it in public i'll drop a mill on an archery range yeah i mean you know when you if it's weird when you cross that kind of let's call it the uncanny valley of fame versus money where you go i can't really do the thing i want to do at the places normal people would do it but i can get myself you know

a facility to do it in private you know it's it's for sure it's weird it's weird it'd be a bizarre i'm not sure i'm not sure i would trade i think i think uh i think uh there's uh there's something to be said for living in reality still, where you get enough money where you don't really have to think about it anymore. That's such a luxury that so many people don't have. It's like, I just don't need to think about this all the time. That's a nice luxury, but I could still go out and do shit and not have people fucking bug me all the time.

You know, Joe Rogan had that whole issue with they had that montage of him saying the N-word over and over. Yeah, he dropped a lot of N-bombs. And then he didn't go to the last UFC event. He didn't show up for work, basically.

He just made up some excuse, essentially. He didn't show up. And he showed up for this last one. And one of the fighters' name was like, it's really difficult. It's like, nim-a-na-ma-na-ma-na. But it begins with an N, and there's a G, like three or four letters in. And he's announcing them. It begins with an N and there's a G, like three or four letters in. And he's announcing them.

He's like, he took a pause for like six seconds and gathered himself before he began. And then he was in the ring. And the fighter who had won, like this is live on the air on pay-per-view. The fighter who had won was Nurmagomedov. His last name is Nurmagomedov. Kind of a tongue twister, especially if you're reading it. Yeah, that's a tough one too. Nurmagomedov. His last name is Nurmagomedov. Kind of a tongue twister, especially if you're reading it. Nurmagomedov. Took me a while. I mean, look, I...

Joe knows the name, but he goes, and thanks to Nurmagomedov... That's what he did! Bail! Pull the shoot! Pull the fucking shoot! Bail! He pulled the shoot and walked away. I think he knows he fucked up. yeah i think i think he knows he fucked up i i do i think he knows he fucked up i think that people that he respects were like yeah

you kind of did fuck up you kind of fucked up homie oh really i didn't know yeah but but and i and i think he probably will uh make a make a solid effort you know going forward to to adjust that that behavior a little bit um What I wish is that he'd have Jamie Foxx on and Jamie Buck. He needs a Patrice, dude. R.I.P. You need a Patrice O'Neal. Patrice O'Neal would fucking

bar the waters. I want someone to call Joe Rogan their N-word. Like on his show. And to just watch his reaction uh i want that so goddamn bad and then he puts that quote like on a plaque like he used to have elvis behind i had someone put one of my quotes on a car once i thought it was really strange i drove a car and i and it was a super modified porsche to take a left and i was like this shit is boss as fuck and somebody someone

had that printed out and this shit is boss as fuck Matt Farrell don't do that I put quotes all over your car of me saying yeah no it was I you know I hung out with Joe a couple of it was probably it was right before covet it was probably the end of 2019 no you know what it was yeah it was probably end of 2019 when he talked about and i we hung out at the comedy store i went to see his set and then he took me in this bar in the back of the comedy store behind the kitchen where the comics hang out well this is a me too story it was yes and then he was and no it was like one of the greatest fucking nights of my life. It was literally sitting at a table where I'm introduced as a friend of Joe, so I'm pre-approved to all these other comics that are legends.

It was fucking next-level shit. It was one of the coolest things I've ever done. That is awesome. But he said we were talking about he had talked about that day or that week that he was going to vote for Bernie Sanders. And the backlash from that, and he's like, dude, he's like this podcast shit. He's like, it's a runaway train. He's like, I can't just say something to my homie who's in the room.

And then it becomes fucking news. It's news now. And then there's backlash and the shit. And so, you know, that was two years ago and change. And it was clear to us in that conversation, like, okay. Or at least it was clear to me. Like, all right, it's a runaway train. But, like, but you're going to keep doing the podcast and keep talking to these kind of people so like you kind of gotta accept some responsibility you know to

your to your audience if it's gonna be this and you're gonna keep doing it and you're not just gonna talk to comics and fighters you're gonna talk to intellectuals and politicians and scientists. You know, we need to have some some accountability. So so the the backlash he's received, both with some of the vaccination people and and whatever, you know, I think I think I hope, you know, he seems like he's someone who wants to learn. So I hope that he's obviously his bottom line has not been impacted. So I hope that he's obviously his bottom line has not been impacted. And, and, and yeah, you know,

we're not, we're not close or anything, but you know, I'm, I chat with him once in a while, but like, I just hope that, I hope that he takes that sort of account because he's more powerful than

fucking news anchors and politicians and journalists. Like he's not, it's not like he's not a journalist. Like he's more powerful than a journalist. He's way more if you look at way more powerful if you look at ridiculous numbers the the the ears that he puts words into versus like anyone else who speaks into a microphone it kind of pales in comparison it's it's it's a big margin it is crazy it's like you know you think of like pepsi as coca-cola's

rival right like i can't remember what the ratio is but it's like eight to one or something oh yeah go to pepsi yeah that's not even close yeah yeah it's no it's the same thing his number his numbers are so crazy oh yeah like you'll see the the media comparison numbers are they're like oh tucker carlson with three million and rachel maddow with 1.7 or whatever it is yeah it's like oh, oh, that's interesting. In the last week, Joe Rogan's just as YouTube channel has 12. Like the new episodes probably have three million views. And those people, you know, I mean, I don't know about the, quote, opinion section of MSNBC and Fox News. But certainly the journalistic section, you know, they've got fact checkers and they've got, you know, you know they've got fact checkers and they've got

you know there's at least some level of accountability and fact checking and stuff like that so anyway I don't I hope that that going forward that he kind of understands

the weight of his words I wish he didn't have to see I'm on the other end of the. That's not where we're at. That's not where we're at. Your audience becomes a certain size and you kind of have no choice. I don't think that he should be responsible for the

stupidity of others. The issue that I'm hearing is that the audience has gotten so big that there's a large enough percentage of them are absolutely retarded and they can't understand humor. And it's actually becoming a danger to society because when you've got 10 million listeners every day,

even though it's 0.001%, that adds up to like 10 assholes out there who are running around now with AK-47s. We can't do this. And it's just like, dude, there's a disclaimer before this thing. If you couldn't tell when you saw me smoking weed the whole fucking time, you're talking to method,

man. Like, like, like this is just for funsies. Like, did you think that Joe Rogan was a scientist? He's all tatted up. Like,

he's Joe Rogan. No, I don't, you know, I don't, I don't think he's a scientist, if you're gonna bring it on like when he is a scientist if you're gonna bring yeah if you're gonna bring people on that are sort of these you know fringy type contrarian scientists you know now that that's what our scientists and

that's and just give them the platform you know what it's like you know you you mentioned that joe rogan took you back into that room and he was like, this is my friend. So then everyone was like, oh, that's Joe Rogan's friend. He vouched. Now, if you'd went in the corner and broke out some heroin or something and everybody freaked the fuck out,

they'd be like, whoa, Joe said this guy was cool. This guy was cool. Yeah, that's why he's so cool. And he's over there passed out with a syringe hanging out of his arm, guys. Like a cool guy. Dude, he bit Mike. Totally. Yeah, I think that's an absolutely excellent analysis, Kyle.

I think you're right. I think the endorsement of the guy you can relate to who is intellectually curious, you know, carries a lot of weight. And, you know, and when your audience is that huge and when your paycheck is that huge, you just gotta exercise some you know where while you guys have been talking like i've been looking at the just kind of like past five years like mainstream media like ratings like yeah they they are dying

at a unbelievably fast oh yeah like and i'm dying as fast as their audience is dying yeah even even faster like from 2020 fox is down over a third cnn down almost 40 msnbc down 20 like oh well that's a bad metric to use though because you have the trump factor right like if i bet if you used a wider well but uh see and like you saw that too, like 2016, like I still worked in the area then, like the ratings you were getting were outrageous. Like whether it was CNN, Fox, MSNBC, all of them. Like Rachel Maddow at some point in 2016 was pulling like 3.7 million, if I recall. Like she passed the Fox opinion people at one point. And since 2015, like it's been a continuous just like and sometimes

and i think what matt said is like largely correct like the people who use news media on the tv with cable as their primary source yeah they are literally dying off faster than they can because people our age like are you i'm not gonna why i'm not paying for cable i'm not gonna watch tn or fox well see here's the thing i don't know why you need cable because like there's a there's an app called pluto that's fucking for free and it just has cnn and fox news and all that shit on it like oh really right that should do even if it's free though i'm not gonna watch it you know what i mean like well like right now like the war coverage because there's a lot of uh yeah you have CNN because I don't watch that shit. But during this,

that's where the White House press conferences are held. And anytime that Macron... How do you say... I hate fucking French names that require you to sound like a piece of shit. Macron? Macron was having some

breakfast this morning. He was having some croissant. Macron ruins. Jesus. Take some croissant. Macron ruins. Jesus, take your hand out of your pants. They do have the smarmiest accent on the planet, French people. Did you see the photos of Macron after he'd spoken with Putin yesterday? No, what happened? He looked like they just told him his dog died. Did they repossess his yacht?

No. I think that Macron was trying to speak to Putin rationally and say, Hey, you seem to have accidentally caused a war. I'm sure you didn't mean to at all. I'm sure you didn't mean it. You may not know this, but your troops are in Ukraine right now. And Putin was like, I know I'm going to kill as many citizens as I can while I'm there. And then like Macron

is, it looks like Macron is realizing he's dealing with like someone who can't be reasoned with. He looks real defeated. That or he was just constipated. That's possible. Dude, them sitting at that way too long table is so funny like they're having guys oh that's the previous meeting that that's like a month or two back um so the the tables are one of the things that um

like internet sort of conspiracy theorists have been talking about a lot and and maybe some that are closer toward you know the center than you might uh think they they're wondering why putin has not been sort of photographed or seen uh for a month or so a couple months next to anyone like like like within arm's reach of anybody and you know there's the video recently where he's uh i saw him at the end of the fucking long table which was hilarious he's at long tables with everyone for the last few months. Oh, really? The thing he's doing is the long table thing? Long tables with everyone. When he addresses his defense ministers, he's at the head of it, and they're at the very end.

This is like fucking Louis XIII shit. No, it gets better. It gets better. It's fucking crazy. So people have been calling him out because the zielinski guys like in the streets making his videos and and putin is making his addresses they're saying that they're all pre recorded because they can tell he's wearing the same tie or the same suit there's these little things that like a good faker maybe he's like jay leno where he has 30 of the same suit no he's like a bad kid like he's supposed to be a kgb agent but he can't even figure out how to

change his suit when he's trying to make like a fake video. But then the best part is this because somebody was like, oh, here he is at a table with a bunch of people. It's it's green screen. He moves his hand and his hand goes through the microphone. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. There's a video.

Is it a composite like a Zoom call kind of thing? No, he's supposed he's like it's zoomed way out he's at a table like it's a deep fake almost that they went to that level because people are reacting to someone who was sitting in that chair but it wasn't putin doesn't he have enough henchmen that he could set that up for real he doesn't for some reason he doesn't want to be close to people right now though it seems that probably yeah he doesn't want to be close to people right now, though, it seems. Probably, yeah. He doesn't want people poisoning him? Some people have said.

Gas or stabbing with a needle or some shit or something like that. Like, stay the fuck away from me, homie, kind of thing. I guessed last week that maybe he had cancer, and it was one of those cancers where they, like, nuke your bone marrow, and he was, like, super immunos now that's that's a fucking conspiracy theory that's that like my my brother in law is recovering from uh chemo right uh from uh leukemia right now sick he just passed six months uh cancer free but that's great yeah it's a man science is fucking crazy. It's really wild. But that's a... I mean, for him to be starting a war

while having some massive immunosuppressant fucking... Look at that, his hand going right to the microphone. He's gesturing around, you know, and that woman supposedly is there with him? No, she's not. Well, that looks like a shitty

background. I mean, I can see the line. Well, that looks like a shitty background. I mean, I can see the line around the woman that looks fucking terrible, too. Yeah. This was on Russian television. Nobody knows Photoshop in Russia? If that's really him, like, forget the background.

Just him. He looks too well to be going through proper chemo cancer situation yeah yeah if anything it looks like he's gained weight since he looks a little chubby if i'm honest he does they were they were talking about how puffy he looked and they were saying um he's probably stress eating it's going poorly for him the idea would be like like the theory would be that this is a dying man who wants to like take his last stab at securing the soviet union but you know bringing it back to its glory like like put that stamp on his legacy before he passes because like what he's done here that's an interesting fucking because because the

alternative theory is that looks this looks looks terrible. That doesn't look real. When you watch the video, it looks better. Oh, okay. Watching the video, I didn't think it was fake. The video is still played on mainstream news outlets, and they do not mention that this is fake. No one mentions that it's fake, except for people on Reddit,

because they don't know. Dude, it took them seven days to get to the bottom of Bernieernie gore's dude you're right they are fucking so matt so matt there's this thing where like um the previous host of the show um wings of redemption is this guy that they they goof around on and troll on the internet now and one of the ways they do it is every time there's a natural disaster a war anything big that happens earthquakes volcanoes wars they take a photograph of him, they create a

fake CNN account. So let's say it happened in Sweden. They make CNN SWND, Sweden, and then they use the Swedish flag and everything, and it looks very official. And then they throw something up like this. They say that our boy Bernie Gores was executed in

Kabul. You know, I actually think I've seen this photo. The reason you may have seen this, the reason you've made news like the last two days, three days. Big news. Big news recently because we're in that age. This guy looks very familiar.

Yeah. So he's entered a new ring of fame. like so like the whole at the at the iceberg that wings redemption iceberg as it were just just got a little bit fucking deeper and wider yeah because hilarious because what happened was both sides got a hold of this for different reasons of course you have the people who are saying, ah, the Russians killed an American journalist. Fuck the Russians. Then you have the people say, no, don't believe that comrade. That's CNN lying to you. See, they did it before. They said this guy died in Kabul. And you got those people who are mad. And then you got the people who are like,

oh my God, CNN is always like, they're not on the russian side they're just on the side of the truth and they hate that there's this big lie and everybody's going back and forth to the point where they had to do an investigative report about this where two people are sitting at a desk on cnn discussing my boy wings of redemption oh yeah and in the in the comments like like they played a clip of his twitch stream on CNN. He was sitting there and he's playing with his cat. He's laid back with his cat.

Terrible. He's like, there we are. He's petting this fucking cat or whatever it is. He's just like, yeah, they keep putting fake pictures of me on CNN. That's not he's like, that ain't really me, though.

I'm not Bernie. Dude, in like the comments. That's amazing. There were there were arguments in the comments of these like fake articles and everything. And a lot of them were genuinely people like Kyle said, who didn't know the meme, who were either like, this is pro-Russia or this is pro-Ukraine. Can I interject? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry, but I forgot.

And I hope I'm not stealing your thunder on this. No, go ahead. There's also our fans who are like, Bernie was the finest journalist CNN ever had. You people, you people. This is a false flag. Those Kabul posts were not there before it's photoshop he died and they're trying to pretend like he didn't because they don't want war they're lying you're lying dude that's what people need to do that's what i was gonna say we had so many of our

fans and people who know about it or just wings fucking with them in the comments and i knew because i would see those comments and i'd click the profile and it'd be like, follows you. And it's like, okay, this guy's trolling the next one. Okay. Follows me.

This guy's trolling. This guy doesn't follow me. He seems pretty sincere. He's got a fucking, he's got a Russian flag in his bio. What the hell is that about? That is amazing. So it's,

it's, it's pretty brilliant that the little, the little like inside joke trolling that happens like from little podcast here, essentially, has gotten to that level. Where you have, there was a state, a member of the United Nations, something or another from Russia. An official person was like, look at this CNN lie. They've told this lie before, and they're telling it again. He tweeted that out at one point. And it's all from a fake CNN Ukraine account

that isn't a real CNN account. Oh, and then of course, I didn't even mention that. CNN is of course having to defend themselves because CNN has made fake news before. I'm sure we've all seen one clip or another. There was the one where they were faking a background. And there's plenty of them where they go go and like dig a hole to sit in so it looks like things are scarier than they are like there's there's definitely a hole to sit in

yeah yeah yeah you know they're they're all i mean yeah they stand five feet deep in in water while the cameraman's like on land i've seen them do it yeah what's really um what I've found tough you know is because I like to I like to to try to be informed you know I like to try to to to know I call myself a fucking journalist for fuck's sake I mean I mean you know I'm an automotive journalist I don't I don't study wars I don't study politics I try to read about politics i'm i'm definitely a progressive but i want to be a progressive based in fucking reality um you know following a war on twitter is really hard oh yeah you just you really don't know what is fucking what oh yeah you yeah. You'll read like antithetical things. Don't use Twitter.

You want to get on Reddit. They chase me off of Reddit. You don't have to post and troll people. You know, I used to be a very active poster and member of Reddit. And you see my cats fighting over back there? Yeah, it's awesome. I used to be very active on Reddit. And then someone made some thread that was like unpopular opinion. You know,

Matt Farah is drives irresponsibly. And that thread was the most responded to upvoted whatever thread about me involving me or anything in in the history of my experience and read it more so than than my q and a's more so than any of my amas which went on for sometimes up to 12 hours more so than anything I'd ever done on Reddit. And so I said, well, if that's the vibe, if that's how all these people feel, then I won't participate in that community anymore. And so I stopped participating in Reddit that very day. And I never looked back.

I can understand that. I can understand that. But Jackie Kennedy didn't swear off cars after Dallas. She would still eat lasagna, pasta. I'm not telling you to go get into a community. I'm just saying if you go to Ukraine,

conflict already. My moves aren't necessarily rational when it comes to this kind of thing but but it just i won't go into dick's sporting goods i know what happened i won't go into dick's it is what it is they they didn't they didn't value me on reddit anymore and so i left out of principle i i pretty woman to dicks i'm and i fair, I'm not going to Twitter to learn about the war. That's not why I'm going to Twitter. But I go to Twitter for just my life, my professional career. And the war is unavoidable on Twitter.

I mean, I'm there for... I pretty much only follow shit that posts about the nhl or hockey highlights and even still it'll be like oh that's a great goal against detroit and it's like 10 killed in ukraine it's like i don't even follow that like it's just how did this end up here yeah well look i follow car stuff. I follow the writers I like, but I also follow. I've learned a lot about U.S. history from people on Twitter, not necessarily from their tweets, but their tweets that have led me to really great books. Kevin Kruse is an amazing historian from Princeton, and I found him on Twitter. Kittens. Oh, come on.

This is awesome. Don't break them up. Great. Can you guys hear that? Oh, I'm watching every moment of that. That's brother and sister. That's Nicky and Finn. I got money on the one on the left.

Nicky. Yeah, Finn is the boy. Nicky under the table is the girl. Oh, yeah. My money's on Nicky. Excuse me, you guys. $5, Taylor? I'll take the one is the boy. Nikki under the table is the girl. Oh, yeah. My money's on the boy. Excuse me, you guys. $5, Taylor?

I'll take the $1. You know, I've followed. Oh, there they go. I've found a lot of great historians and people who've written great books on Twitter. But anyway, it's hard to follow a war on Twitter, and I don't recommend it. We're getting the notes from Zach that it's time to do ads, and my wife is also

texting me that it's time to go to dinner, so I think I'm going to take this opportunity to dive bomb on out of here. I usually peace out at around the two hours, and change mark. My attention span is limited, but I really appreciate you guys of here i i usually peace out at around the two hours and yeah of course thank you so much for coming man my attention span is limited but i really appreciate you guys you guys having me i always appreciate you guys's perspectives i think i think it's it's great to get to sit down and

talk to people do you have any if woody makes it tonight do you have any tips to tell him uh to tell his wife well i hope his wife still has bones for sure. And also, ha ha ha, because if you crash out during your fucking testing... Hang on, hang on. That was... Ha ha ha, if you crash while fucking testing...

Ha ha ha. Exclamation? Yeah. Follow the Smoking Tire on Instagram, the Smoking Tire on Instagram, the Smoking Tire on YouTube, the Smoking Tire podcast is wherever you get podcasts and on YouTube. All of this for Woody's wife?

All of it for Woody's wife. Woody's wife needs to make sure. I'll make sure she follows you, but I don't think she's following you. Seriously, I hope she's fucking okay. Yeah, me too. Let's do it in another three months because I like sitting down with you guys.

It's always really good fun. No, for sure. Maybe in three months we're talking about how you can't get any more European cars ever. I know. It's going to be a fucking disaster. No more gas. You're reviewing carriages in six months.

It's got two horsepower This is John and Big Mike People say to stay away from the Clydesdale I like the power Yeah, Zach, make sure to send me the link When the permanent link is up So I can share it on my socials Awesome, and all your links will be below

So check out Matt's stuff Thank you guys, have a great night I'll see y'all soon See you soon alright oh this is gonna be fun Taylor now I'm gonna run and piss while you do the first set I'm gonna do it as quickly as I can cause I don't mean to leave you here

by yourself but I gotta piss alright go for it then we're gonna fucking double team this thing we're gonna do it just me and you PKN that's gonna be good unless Woody's gonna show up later in the bathroom change the lane this thing. We're going to do it. A double just me and you, PKN. Unless Woody's going to show up later in the bathroom. Change the link.

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things on the podcast that you genuinely think are good. Now, I've been taking the Tercasterone for like a week. I can't tell any difference there. How much are you taking? I'm taking four a day. Jesus! That's it? It's... I don't know. Is it bad? Oh, what does it say

on the bottle? Uh, one. One a day? Or one every... I don't know. I didn't read the bottle but but i'm taking at least eight a day okay eight a day i'll pop those those rookie numbers up maybe 16 maybe let's let's roll with four for a bit i'll tell you what i actually know i think it's i think it's a morning and night thing so that would be two but yeah you can safely amp it up i tripled the dose uh because i bought three bottles and I did it in a month.

OK, so, yeah, whatever. I know I know lots of the big fitness guys take quite a bit of the stuff. But anyway, it wasn't the terkesterone I was talking about. It was the the nitric mode pre-workout. It is there's no stim in it, which is perfect for me. I love that one. And it gives me a much better pump. I think that's because of the

glycerol or something in there i've never taken glycerol before working out but i feel like a little more pumped up after i'm working out with this stuff and it's been a few weeks oh yeah that's got that's got cell plump cell plumping technology i believe it does cell plumping well and uh i i asked for more pre-workout and he was like, hey, I'm going to send you something that Kyle speaks highly of, the glycerol for that maximum pump, that big swole look. Do you use that still or do you not anymore? Because do you drink it separately between? Yeah. Don't mix them.

They're different flavors. Okay. So you drink that one totally before the workout. I drink them both like 30, 40 minutes pre 40, 40 minutes, uh, pre-workout. And then I just start drinking water until it's time to work out. Okay. Well, yeah, I would recommend that one. The, uh, the blackout cherry is the best flavor of any pre-workout I've ever had. The, uh, the, um, the glycerol or whatever. I'll be honest. It doesn't taste good. Um, I wasn't looking for a flavorful drink when I bought it, though.

So it does really get you pumped up, though. It's something about getting water into muscle cells. That's what all that shit is going to be for the most part, other than vasodilators. But it does the job, especially on top of the regular pre-workout. He's also got protein powder that's really good. But yeah, buy our cum pills for sure. Yeah.

Code PKA, 20% off. Dude, I was watching the UFC last week, and I saw something I hadn't seen before. There was a women's fight, and this Chinese chick took a knee to the cunt hard. Is that illegal? No no no clam hammer clam hammer yeah uh actually a cunt punt a cunt punt yeah yeah and uh like a real hard one and you know they show the replay and as they're showing the replay joe's like i'm not even sure we should be

showing this because you like see like the foot go like up into the vagina. It's like, huh? Maybe don't show this. I don't know if we should because they don't get it. Can you can you see a little bit of penetration? I hope not. But but those the girls don't have a cup down there. They just got like boy shorts or something going on. Like they've got like athletic bottoms on.

They can wear pussy protectors. I remember I was in like we were like 14 or something and i was in a hockey locker room and this guy on my team was like dad i forgot to bring my cup i need you to go buy one from the shop and his dad's like okay and he comes back like 10 minutes later and just throws the box at him and it's like this guy always took forever to put his stuff on and so he waited to the last second and then took it off started throwing it on on. And he's like, what the hell, the hell is this? And he's like,

dad, like leaning out of the locker room to like scream into the main air. Dad, dad, you bought me a pussy protector. You bought me a pussy protector. And everyone on the team was laughing at him. And his dad was a total troll.

He's like, I bought what I thought you needed, son. He had like a weird trembling voice. I bought what I thought you needed son he had like a weird trembling voice i bought what i thought you needed son and we're all like dude mr p you are so fucking funny did he also get him a cup because that's gonna after that he did make an honest mistake he didn't mean to buy oh that's really funny oh yeah i didn't we didn't know that those existed no i didn't know they existed either well they don't use them in the ufc maybe they're not good for like wrestling and stuff like they would for like a stand-up sport uh so like

you could tell she was really hurt now now i've seen girls get twatted before but they usually just kind of shake it off and get back to it but you can take up to five minutes on a low blow to recover if the ref is you know the ref will just stand there and just wait till you're good to recover if the ref is there you know the ref will just stand there and just wait till you're good she's she needs time she's like she's like yeah and like she doesn't want to grab her pussy because we're on tv and it's like which is another thing that like i don't know the guys will reach right in there and like start like people like pulling their balls back out of themselves whatever they're doing you know like they got no shame but she's just like kind of putting her hands on her thighs like my pussy hurts and and the ref goes doctor and and joe goes what's the doctor gonna do when he gets there joe's so funny like pop that pussy out man see joe's the only one

who like has that sort of comics mindset that's always looking a step or two ahead with anything. It works really good for coming up with a joke, but when shit is happening in front of you that's unscripted, he's like, but when the doctor gets there, what's he going to do? Is he going to look at her vagina in front of us all right now? Is that where this leads? And everybody else is like, by God, you're right. What is the doctor going to do?

And the doctor kind of gets to the door and he's just like, probably good, probably good. They call me Dr. Johnny Giant Fingers. So eventually she just like, you know, decided she was okay and got back in there. But it was the weirdest like thing. I've seen plenty of eye pokes and weird, you know, fouls in the ufc

but she was legitimately like in a lot of pain and nobody knew what like the step would be if like we needed a doctor or something like they could have her like jog it out back to the locker room real quick and then for what there's an ob-gyn back there you leave the ring it's over oh well i don't know the rules about if your pussy gets i don't know if there is a rule like that but but i've never seen anybody leave the octagon for any reason and then get back in and continue anything not even like someone had to go to the bathroom i don't know what happens but i think that you piss in a bucket while someone holds a towel if it's an absolute emergency and my guess is it happens more than you'd think but the camera crews know to just

get away from it and like go to like something else while dude is literally pissing in his corner i guarantee that's happened yeah i've i've said they're not leaving uh there's there's a time maybe i'm getting the goalie's name wrong but it it was in the NHL, you know, the biggest league in the world. And just in the middle of a game, they're like, Roberto Luongo, very good goalie. I think it was him. They're like, Luongo skating off quickly in between the whistle. What is going on? Is the coach calling for him?

What's happening? Like, what are they going to do? He's the starting goal. The backup is coming in. He's been playing tremendous. He hasn't been injured. What's going on here? And then like 10 minutes later The backup is coming in. He's been playing tremendous. He hasn't been injured. What's going on here? And then like 10 minutes later, like he's back.

He's back on the bench. We don't know what kind of protocol this was. And like afterward, he's just like, I was about to poop all over the ice. I absolutely had to. And I, there is nothing worse than having to take a shit playing goalie. Because when the game is on the other side, you have nothing to think about, but having to shit the whole time. And I remember me and I think his name was Nick. He was my backup goalie on a team. I think I was like, I was maybe 15 at this time and I was a

starting goalie and he was the backup and we were playing a game and it was in a tournament, I believe. And I was feeling like dog shit. And so was he, I think he might've gotten me sick and we were both having diarrhea. They put both of us in the same room for the, for the tournament trip. And I go out there and like, before the game, I'm like, Nick, like, if I start waving at you, I want you to please get, get on the ice quickly. Like I would re I don't want to embarrass myself and poop my pants. And he was like, dude, I totally get it, but I'm not staying out there very long because I got to poop too. And I was like, okay. And so like period one, we're in the middle of the first period.

We're halfway through the first period. I Nick, Nick, like there's a, I'm waiting. I think I smother the puck whistle, book it off. And we told the coach to expect some erratic goalie changes. And he understood. He doesn't have other goalies. What the fuck is he going to do? Put a player in our equipment? To expect some erratic goalie changes.

It was like, we weren't going to win this tournament anyway. We gave a fuck. And so I skate off and it is unreal hard to shit in goalie equipment. First of all, your knees with the pads, you can't see the door or the goddamn thing in front of you. You're like a mountain of a man. You can't get your pants off

without taking the buckles off of your pads. So imagine like shin guards on the front. You're unbuckling the top ones so that they fold down off of your legs towards the ground and then you pull your pants down and then you take your shit. You're like a knight in armor. And I'm'm in a giant i can barely reach my ass to wipe and take care of

it because i like a retard the first time i took the shit i was like i'm i'm gonna leave this on this is speedy and in the middle of wiping i'm like am i getting shit on my jersey thankfully i did not get notes to you you're just smearing shit all over your number back there no one wants to get close to the crease they're too intimidated by that goaltender it's like no it's because he's got shit all over himself the ultimate defense and so i i get back out there and i swear to god the second i get back out of the bench i start to feel more grumbles and i see nick waving i see nick waving it was one of those shits where all i was doing was relieving temporary pressure there was no a full evacuation there and so he nick immediately waves me over i'm like are you kidding me he goes he runs in there takes a

shit i make it through the first period and i think i make it through most of the second and then i had to bail like i think i shit three times we each shat three times remind me again how did you get like? What happened? I don't remember. It was on a trip. We ate the same shit both of us the night before. It must have been something we ate.

I don't know. That's the only thing that makes sense. We were in the same room. We probably got some room service feeling like big shots from the fucking bullshit Marriott we were staying at. But yeah, that was, that was horrible.

That was the least fun game of hockey I've ever played in my life. Like the, the panic of having to shit and knowing not only are you not near a toilet, you are five minutes of frantic equipment removal once you get there. And once you can see the porcelain, your mind tells you it's time psychologically. And so I'm there, you're dancing, trying to get that shit off that oh absolute nightmare that sounds like no fun at all no i i i i i'm surprised that it doesn't happen in more sports i i have

seen it's true not in ufc i don't think but definitely in like mixed martial arts them shitting themselves like well that's they have to leave the ring for that they can't let them keep wrestling if they're shit that's a disqualification uh that's you know what fair fair right that is fair you don't make he shit himself well you sir went whoa gross he's up there like i don't hear no bell like dude you have shit yourself you lost like by by every measure it's over it's so embarrassing yeah getting the shit kicked out of you literally oh in front of all those people i watched a video last night like 4 or 5 a.m um midi or somebody sent me this video and you've got two different angles on this thing you got the cops um camera that he's wearing,

and then there's a little shed that runs one of those gates with the arm that allows cars in and out. And there's a camera inside of it that pans straight down so you can see the operator who normally sits in there very well. Well, I don't know the backstory,

but a maniac runs into the thing and takes this Sikh gentleman who's wearing the turban with a beard hostage with a knife. He's got like a dagger, like a six inch blade. And he's like got him in a headlock and he's trying to like pull the knife toward his throat to like, I think, to keep him hostage. Not necessarily. He wants to get into hostage holding like position mode yeah you know he wants to like get this wrestling over so that he can effectively negotiate with the cops who are just on the way yeah oh he's kind of achieved that he's got like knife almost a throat but the

seat guy is still like kind of wiggling around a bit and he's behind the guy like in a headlock sort of uh situation two cops walk up and fucking fucking Johnny Thunderbolt must have been officer number one. Because he goes, BAM! And shoots the guy in the top of the fucking head immediately. And the guy like, as the guy's falling over very much

dead, he shoots him in the head again as his head's falling over. And you see like mucus fly out of the fucking head gross and the seek guy is like trying to get the fuck out of the guard shack and johnny thunderbolt's like right this way sir he's like are you okay and like he can't he can't johnny thunderbolt doesn't understand what's wrong with the seek man because the seek man is being real weird and kind of like acting funny like turning his back I spotted it right away the Sikh man has pissed himself he doesn't want the cop to know but but like that's an acceptable time to piss yourself that is the time to piss yourself

dude it was just like you know those targets that you see where like hostage the hostage taker has the woman and like you can see his ugly mean face and then she's just like oh no and you've got to shoot the mugger without hitting the woman yeah dude must have been a model for one of those posters at some point he's just like what are you gonna do copper and the cop just immediately shot him in the top of the fucking head like the guy's wearing a baseball cap and you see the cat go poof and it was so ridiculous i've never seen anything like that before i've always when i've seen fucking wild like uh well i've seen that snipe there was that dude sitting in a chair with a gun in his hand and somehow they shoot the gun out of his hand without it even the bullet even hitting his hand it just hit the gun which is wild. I always thought if I was taking a hostage like that,

that's a very Hollywood kind of hostage to have a gun over here and be like, I got a hostage. I'm hiding entirely. I'm making us both do DDR moves together, jittering and jiving around. That shit doesn't work. Every time I've seen someone actually do that because they watch too many movies, either they shoot the guy or eventually they're just like grab his arm and pull it away and then they have him and they're all mad at him like i i saw one in like forgive me i don't know what country they were brown and the street was

red mud and when they got the knife away from this mustachioed gentleman holding this pretty little girl they just started whooping his ass and it was you couldn't count the people that were beating him up it was like when you see like a pile of ants like tearing a grasshopper apart like how many you think that is a thousand or a hundred thousand i don't know it was all of the people they all beat the shit out of him i saw some brutal like beat up video and it was this it was in india because the title said india that's how i knew and it was like village gets revenge on rapist and it's this like apparently like joey rapist was like just known in that community as raping a lot and so like all these women and men and even like younger kids they just like are grabbing him throwing him on the ground kicking him just like

picking up bottles and things like he deserves it he's a fucking rapist and i think a pedophile as well so according to that he was just according to that whole indian village they wouldn't lie what if it was like a witch well i was gonna to say witch. We don't speak Hindu or whatever, but if we did, we'd hear witch, witch, witch. I'm so glad that you guys killed that pedophile. He was not a pedophile. He was a demon. Oh, no.

We would never kill a pedophile. We all love children. Fuck it. It could have been. There was like they beat the shit out of him. They like pull his pants down down he's like on the road like knocked out like people have kicked him in the head and then some lady takes like a broken broom handle oh not that you don't see it he's off on the side but it's like oh oh oh all right

that's i can't do that oh he's dead oh that's a colostomy bag waiting to happen i don't want i don't think he had one available in that dirt floor road. Well, he'll need one soon enough after a buggering with a dirty brown person's broom handling. He was street buggered. Street buggered. Yes, yes, street buggered. I can watch those those brutal videos

if the person is a pedophile but that involves most of mostly imagination yeah i said before i was about to say a little little little make-believe then we can watch that stuff because mostly it seems like it's just drug deals gone wrong with someone on reddit wanting to post it but knowing that that's not going to get the same response as this person was mean to that person and then he caved his skull in i just really don't like the videos of just assaults like i saw one the other day and it was like like some guy was coming out of a gas station and he had some sort of a disability like he walked with his hands and kind of funny i don't know he had like a wiggly walk and this black guy just walked up and like knocked the shit out of him for no reason and ran away and like this poor guy is all like why you know like why did somebody just fucking like deck me like it was just no reason at all

what a piece of shit yeah oh i've stumbled upon some fun videos to watch though so i could go for some fun it's all yeah so china and india um have like this border dispute i guess and so but they have a rule there um or a law or just an understanding if if they were to use firearms against each other and any of their little like skirmishes it begins a war and it's a big war you know like oh yeah so they just don't have guns there but that so they get into full-blown melees between the indian and the chinese military with fists sticks rocks and vehicles like i watched one today where like i think it's a chinese humvee trying to like progress down a dirt road and there's like like a dozen Indians beating it and like knocking the headlights

out and like screaming at it and forcing it back. Like, it's like something medieval. It's like they brought like a siege machine and, and like the, the, the, the Knights are out there beating on it with their swords.

They had like batons. Jesus Christ. And i was reading the comment of this yeah and the comment said um oh this is nothing this happens all the time they can't use firearms or it technically be like world war three and everybody be involved but as long as they keep it fists and sticks melee only as it were they they're all good. And they get after it. Like apparently like there's dozens of videos of them just like beating the shit out of each other.

We really haven't evolved as far as we thought we have. No, we pretend that we have. Yeah, we pretend. We're still civilians. I love that in the same speech, Biden is saying, we've got to send as many arms

to the Ukraine so they can fight for freedom as possible. And he's speech, Biden is saying, we've got to send as many arms to the Ukraine so they can fight for freedom as possible. And he's like, by the way, what do y'all need those 30-round magazines for here? He said, what, are the deer wearing Kevlar? And it's just like, dude, how? It's not for deer, dumbass. It's not for the deer, dummy.

That's just a willful misrepresentation of what the second he just sent me he just sent 16 billion dollars to the ukraine and he can't figure out why somebody might want a 30 round magazine um it's been a wild week though like you can see that the weaponry that the whole fucking world is like sending because like you can virtue signal the new virtue signal is sending a fucking rocket to some ukrainians this is like what have you done i sent i sent butterfly mines to the ukrainians they look like toys so the russian children will pick them up oh god you've done what a great guy what a great guy this guy is killing the next generation.

Well, maybe settle down a little bit. By the way, that's the thing the Russians are doing around Miracle, I believe. They're dropping those little butterfly mines. I don't know what that is, a butterfly. It's this little green thing that looks kind of like a plastic toy. I think you might call them also like toe popper mines. They're kind of made to maim people rather than outright kill them. They blow hands off, arms off. Oh, that's fucked up yeah they look like toys so kids pick i mean

not that the ones that kill them are better well they drop them from airplanes though so they're like super indiscriminate they sort of like drop and flop around and disperse scatter mines as a whole against people just feels like such an evil way to to kill someone well it depends on what side you're on right because right now the ukrainians are mining the fuck out of their beaches oh there's one yeah that's exactly it yeah and so that'll blow up like your leg or or something yeah yeah that'd blow your foot if you step on it is that what it was or he picked it up and played with it like um the story i was reading the person had been holding it and it blew the bottom of their face off oh that's the second most important half of your face yeah it is and not it's a close second though

you really need the whole thing to make it come together have you ever seen those world war one photos where a guy gets his jaw blown off and like their their like fucking solution back then was to like saw saw down a fucking horse's femur and try and plug it in and the guy just looks even sadder than with half of uh hey mr red come show come show me your jaw yeah you got the fucking horse teeth coming off or the the glasses with the half face like yes yeah that's so empire dude that got like I think that might be my next rewatch I could rewatch it I don't know after that

character we know dies earlier on than he should have died I lost I kept watching but I lost interest same you just knock out season one and you're good you knock out season one you're good it's a quick little mini series thing the other thing that I kind of want to rewatch I just need to find somebody who wants to watch it with me um i want to re-watch the outsiders uh because that's

that's a really good show is that the spooky one yeah that's that really scary stephen king thing on hbo um it's like eight or ten episodes it's just the last episode is kind of lame but otherwise i think it's excellent it's really fucking good yeah i just saw so juicy smollett smollett yes i had this written down he just got sentenced just like an hour ago it says can i guess let me guess let me guess let me guess so my guess because so so i saw that they had a lot of character witnesses like rainbow coalition um like all of the all of those all of those guys wrote letters actors uh samuel l jackson wrote a letter did they give him six weeks of like time in a place they gave him 150 days in jail and 30 months of probation for staging a hate crime.

Wow. Which is more than I thought a celebrity would get. Wow. For staging a hate crime. That's what I thought. I was aiming high with six weeks of jail time. What kind of, it's a state facility, right? It was a federal thing or a state thing they just did?

A state thing. It says jail, not prison. So I guess. guess dude that sucks so much worse oh yeah that no if he's going to if he's going to a chicago fucking jail like that's legit like a rough fucking time as far as i as far as i know like i can't imagine like the atlanta jail is the one they did on 60 days in dude like like when me and my lawyer that was my worst case scenario for like once i once they said okay you're gonna do 60 days it's like okay where though best case scenario halfway house i sleep there do my days here at my house. Worst case scenario is the Atlanta jail. That's the kind of place that I think they're going to send Juicy to. Good.

It's not even what he did. It's what he was trying to do. He was trying to fan the flames of hatred and divisiveness. If he had done what he did as a Russian actor, they'd have tried him for treason. Yeah. I mean, that's true. But it is nice to see some justice there.

He said, I'm innocent and I am not suicidal. If anything happens to me, you must all know that. And it's like no nobody's gonna suicide you in jail man like yeah you're gonna be given probably special treatment because you're famous and you're rich if anything you should you reply back but i hope if i hope that i hope they do suicide you and i'm gonna gaslight everyone and make them not believe single-handedly just like do the footage just like you tried to do us with your fake hatred just like you tried to gaslight everyone into thinking that someone in chicago had a gallon of bleach

and a noose on them and said this is mega country no one in the history of chicago has said this is i mean i've been to chicago like four or five times and like walked around at night around like a nice part of town. Don't get me wrong. Like where the buildings are. That's the pretty architecture stuff. Like that ain't MAGA country. I promise you.

No. Very progressive area. Maybe actually Southern Illinois. That's MAGA country. Yeah. Southern Illinois is basically Missouri. Yeah. Like, you know, I drove up there a couple of times for my my little weedcations and i'd get a cabin up

there for a four-day weekend or something that's mega country i literally saw the flags and stuff and i was like oh man you know you don't think of like even as an american sometimes i lose track of just how big some of these states are because it's easy to think of like illinois is like oh yeah that's where chicago is that's it's a's like, dude, 95% of that state is farmland. And good old boys with chaw in their mouths and hate in their hearts. And then it's just Chicago, where the majority of the people are. Sure, sure. I love Chicago.

That's one of my favorite places to go. It's a pretty nice town. I haven't been in years, but this would be a good time to go. to go it's a pretty nice town i haven't been in years but this this would be a good time to go they do a huge saint patrick's thing every single year where they like turn the the river green i've i've never gone to it my brother did last year i have friends who have gone they say it's a blast just insane i know somebody's going up there soon i'm thinking about going with them um do like a week up there uh because i i just love the food up there. Like Portillo's is really good. Belnati's and I love that deep dish pizza.

Everybody's like, it's not peach, it's lasagna. It's like, all right, well, I like their fucking lasagna. Chill out. Like it's really fucking tasty either way. It's not that it tastes bad. Like deep dish pizza tastes very good. It's just if you want a hand food for your pizza, it's not the right one. Definitely not.

Pizza is a hand food. I like it. And i like thinner crust also i like the i like a higher topping to crust ratio you know i i don't have a preference i just know that it's like a it's just a different experience i have a lot of strong food preferences i remember uh i just got good memories wrapped around those deep dish pizzas that might be part of it always had had a good time when I was up there in Chicago and eating one of them. So usually had some cold beer or I was stoned or I was with some like good looking young lady or something like that and having a good time and eating some pizza. One of the times I was Woody and Joe, I think we went to the place. And I think, man, I need I can't talk about Woody this way if he's not here to defend himself

but I know there was an issue with the wait staff like all I know for sure is that somebody got scolded and I think it might have been warranted but I wish you were here to

refresh my memory but I just remember there was something about they had root beer on tap and we were like oh yeah give us a frosty root beer on tap or something and they were like two of us wanted those and then like some like maybe joe was like just wanted water because like maybe he's about to fight i can't imagine but like his water was like a fiji and it was like locked in uh like a mini fridge because the place just had opened up for lunch yeah and instead of bringing our root beers to us he waited like eight ten minutes for a manager with a key to show up to get the fiji water and and our root beers just sat there like losing their head and i think that's what happened god

that's what i i would dislike that but but yeah i think i think there was a fucking meltdown over that but um but yeah i love that fucking meltdown over there but like i man i have not just you saying that like i'm picturing in my mind the frosty mug the the great tasting hopefully like artisan or like small batch root beer that tastes so good and those pieces are so hot that like you you want that like giant thing of sugary like cold deliciousness to like wash it down everyone's like every once in a while and it's very rare like because i don't like regular soda very much i'm on the zevia kick for a long long time remind me to talk about this by the way this is new what is it this is coca-cola starlight what does it mean exactly what does it mean so they have uh zero sugar and regular i got the

zero sugar i taste really fucking good to me it just says starlight edition starlight limited edition it's flavored like space now to the best of my uh uh sommelier abilities uh i can i'm detecting a lot of vanilla some cotton candy like that that like cotton candy like sweetness kind of thing that it has what i don't know how to describe it cotton candy and like um i heard somebody else say mint and i don't agree with that but lots of vanilla and and sweet cotton candyness and it's really fucking it's like a dessert it's really good interesting maybe i'll try that i'm not a big fan of cotton candy i've never been a cotton candy man i was when i would go to fairs i preferred funnel cakes it was more substantive more calories more sugar oh yeah yeah well, and cotton candy always hurt my teeth as a kid.

Yeah, when something is so sweet, it hurts an eight-year-old's teeth. Like, come on. That should be illegal. I got this essential oil that I bought from a jockey lot. Do you have anybody on your downline yet? I bought one tube of it because it had a funny name. Oh, okay okay it's called uh first time anal and uh and like i was like what did they make this smell like right because

it's just it looks like a little cube it looks like a tube of lipstick and has a ball bearing on one end so you could like roll it on yeah and it's just full of like clear liquid that smells like something and they you know they're they're little... They're just mixing shit together. But I had to know. It smells like Tootsie Rolls. It smells just like Tootsie Rolls. And now I just sat it on my counter in my kitchen. And every time I walk by it, I go... Yeah.

It smells so good. It smells like candy, but like really pungent, delicious candy. Are you going to incorporate it into your next anal escapade? I don know how i would maybe you put it put it on her ass maybe it won't maybe it'll i don't know i don't think it's meant to be edible i think it was just like a scent to apply oh yeah it's not supposed to be i was meaning i think that's there you know we really need a black um like guest sometime because like i i got lots of black people questions whenever we do our hangouts you know whenever we do our hangouts we've got um chocolate in here with us and like like he's like my my my black person that i asked for like you know black people

questions and like it doesn't what are some of your black people well like with cologne right i feel like instead of cologne sometimes they like got some oil or something they're rubbing on like uh cocoa butter no no that's for like moisturization that's that's just making sure that they stay moisturized but like it seems like sometimes they've got like uh like that that that oil thing i'm talking about like they're like rolling on some oils or something i guess i haven't paid attention did did he help you clarify your your black person question well i haven't asked him about this that's what i'm saying i wish you were here now like like you know during my time in the clink um i noticed that uh my black cellmate like he had a lot of products right i

talked about it like like that one thing that he put through his hair smelled like the strongest Sharpie, like an industrial Sharpie. It was like, fuck. I'd pull my blanket up over my face to keep from getting a contact high. That's pretty rude. Well, I mean, where's he going to go and apply it? Does he need it applied? Do you need hair gel that smells up a whole area?

It's prison hair gel. You don't have a lot of options. Was everybody using this gel? White people only had one option prison hair gel you don't have a lot of options was everybody using this gel white people only had one option for hair gel like i like to put something in my hair so that it doesn't i don't look like lloyd from fucking dumb and dumber right that's true because that's what my hair wants to do you have very straight hair yeah it just goes straight down i end up like a pumpkin pie uh haircut and freak type oh yeah that doesn't matter i can get a pie haircut and freak type situation. It doesn't matter. I can get a $200 haircut and then get out of the shower

and just dry it, walk out. I'm Lloyd Christmas all over again. It doesn't matter. You don't want to go back to 2010 Kyle hair? That's a fucking character, goddammit. Nobody gives Billy Bob Thornton shit.

It's true. You and Billy bob thornton shit it's true you and billy bob thornton we're peers we're peers all right so that is that is a funny way to to retcon that no i had a shitty russian haircut not a shitty georgian i did i did that's what it was um and so like uh dude i i got such a bad haircut one time from oh let me lose this is it in your notebook no oh in prison like white people only had one option for like hair gel and for whatever reason it was like this aloe based stuff. It was clear. It looked like burn gel. It looked like aloe burn gel and even smelled like it too. But when you got it out, it was like kind of tacky and sticky, but not really.

It was like they were trying to, and that was the only option for like white people if you wanted to put something in your hair. So I would always end up looking like, who's that you know that goofy dude who does i hate to pick on him he does food reviews wearing like a tuxedo and his hair slick like straight back but he sounds like a fucking goober he looks like one but he's a cool little guy um anyway uh like that's what i'd end up with with that that fucking aloe shit. But black people had only, like, two options, too, I guess. Oh, the report of the week? Yeah.

One of them smelled like death. Ugh. I don't want that. Dude, I can't believe you got five months of prison. I am blown away. I thought it was going to be like a... And three years of probation? Don't do that again.

What was it? Two years? Three years? Yeah, I think it was three years so i think because he's in chicago he'll probably be able to like smoke medical marijuana when he gets out um but i'm not 100 on that it would suck to not be able to smoke weed for for a couple years um now you know yeah five months in prison as a celebrity though good i i mean i feel like that's about fair don't you it looks like yeah it does seem fair uh cook county jail

like can you imagine if a non-celebrity did this and got caught they would have fucking made an example like i think if a non-celebrity did this it would have been less of a big deal like the thing that makes this crime severe we'll see the thing that makes this crime severe is that he is a celebrity there's it's it's not what you say it's where it's how he said it he said it as someone with a huge platform like that makes sense he applied a megaphone to uh you know he yelled fire but he yelled it really fucking loud and in a way that could have caused a lot of damage if an average person does this eight eight people on facebook get upset and then they realize that it's crazy larry making up lies about manga country again yeah you're

right yeah definitely i hadn't thought about that angle so i think being a celebrity makes it a worse crime um then oh it definitely does objectively because you're right some goofy guy making it up that he was attacked by you know oh i'd be a great prosecutor i'd want my closing arguments after theirs like they talk about how influential he was and and how many people reached out on his behalf like thank you for making my case for me i just want to point out that the reason it's so important to stand up here and now and make an example is because of how influential and far reaching Mr. Mr. Smollett celebrity is. He was going to use all the goodwill that he had acquired through knowing Mr. Samuel L. Jackson, through not being so close with the Black Power movement and the Rainbow Coalition to make his claims seem more legitimate, to leverage

your good cause into his hateful lie. That's a good one. You should... I could have got him six months. Double it. Ten months. No, I feel like five is plenty. Five seems almost like too much

that's yeah in in a county jail based on everything you and everyone else who has experience in those systems says it is a absolute nightmare so five months is going to feel like a couple years in there it it's gonna really fucking suck um i mean he's a celebrity and it's nobody's gonna probably i seriously doubt he's gonna be any like real danger but like it's gonna fucking blow um jails just suck in general jails are so underfunded they're not meant for long-term stay generally or at least they're not oh i watched a really good program i think it was a vice thing about um um nicotine vapes and uh in jails this uh this one jailer had invented a vape that like it was like flexible and soft so you couldn't use it as a weapon or anything and the battery was so

low that you couldn't use it to be combustible and he was selling for like ten dollars a pop to his jail to his to his prisoners and he uses the money to like make the jail better but he also sells them to other jails to do whatever the fuck they want with him he they cost him like three dollars a pop and he sells them for 10 and he's a prisoner he's he run he owns the prison oh he owns the prison so he's making money he's like yeah he owns the jail or he like runs the jail and uh and so he's invented uh um vapes for the prisoners. I'm like, I,

it didn't impact me at all, but I remember like the stories of like, they're banning cigarettes and smoking and tobacco and jails across the country. It's like, like, let him have it. Come on. It's about secondhand smoke.

Well, then the vapes are a good thing. Like that's exactly right. Yeah. So the vapes are, are just like,'s exactly right yeah so the vapes are are just like they can go back and add vapes if they want like like i heard um a lot of people were talking about like places they had been where vapes were available like at state facilities and stuff um obviously we did not have any fucking vapes i don't think no i've seen in some of those

60 day in uh things though where they have the vapes and uh but but they were like breaking theirs apart and like doing something weird so they could like super concentrate them or something and get high with them yeah they were like doing stuff with they were like smoking raid off of tissue paper or something literally like bug spray they like took the inside of the vape out and like the way these vapes work vape vapes worked it was like a wick soaked in nicotine or something. They were doing something with the wick to supercharge the smoking experience and get fucked up. This guy said that it was really lowering. They'd have people coming in, coming off of heroin and lots of other stuff.

He's like, you've got somebody coming in. Just had a traumatic experience. He just got locked up. Probably beat up. other stuff and he's like he's like you got somebody coming in just had traumatic experience he just got locked up probably beat up they're coming off a heroin and then you ain't gonna give that man a cigarette and i was and i was like he's got a good fucking he's got a very good point give me like something like i don't i don't smoke but i could but if something bad happens, it's like, give me one of them. Give me one of them. Give me one of them. Need a little stress relief.

Yeah. Yeah. For anybody who doesn't smoke, if you're ever real stressed out, try a cigarette. You'll fucking love them. Kyle PSA, feeling down? Try a cigarette. Camel, recommended by eight out of 10 doctors. Look, everybody acts like those old cigarette ads were all lies.

They were just mostly lies. They're just mostly lies. They're not kidding. A cigarette will just smooth you right out. If your nerves are a little jittery, you're having a hard time relaxing, burn yourself a nice marble or light down see if you don't feel better see if your nerves aren't steadier it's it's like what are we gonna figure out right now that's so horrible for like because it's easy to look back and be like oh

those retards they thought smoking was okay how do do you not know? Meanwhile, yeah, those things maybe. But the food pyramid was just, I just looked it up. They changed it in 2011. I was halfway through with college when they switched and said not, like for years people were like, those idiots smoking cigarettes. Let me have my ninth serving of bread today. So I'm nice and healthy. I mean, you could have nine ninth serving of bread today like so i'm nice and healthy i i mean i you could have nine servings of bread it's more about like uh the caloric intake though like like i don't

have any servings of bread all right nine's too many that's a lower level it's supposed to be nine to eleven how many servings are in like a sandwich? Is each slice a serving? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Six to 11 servings a day of bread, cereal, rice, and pasta. Jesus, the mamma mia. That's terrible advice. All right, all right. You have to be working so hard to need that diet.

We would say this though if you were working in like an industrial era factory turning a big wheel all day and then grabbing a big finished product and heaving it onto a pile that is the meal you need plenty you just fast calories 11 servings of you like yeah do we have any more pasta I've only had 8 servings I'm not going to be able to burn through this do you have a chicken leg I don't want to be unhealthy give me my pasta covered in butter

but not too much butter sparingly I like this vertical diet thing that I do I feel like it's I don't know have you been doing it again for a couple months now yeah i mean i'll definitely cheat occasionally if i want like anything like i'm not gonna it's not it's not like when um that ketogenic diet where oh did you smell

some sugar well you're you're out of ketosis yeah oh really does that mean that like nothing i do for like the next how long is it before i get back into ketosis and it matters again oh well maybe a day or two you really took a step backwards here it's just like fuck you and your silly diet okay your your diet sounds a lot like the jedi religion to me there's a lot of keto sucks i did it once for like a like 10 days and i have never been low or no i think it was a full two weeks i've never been more low energy in my life like i was it was at my old place when i lived in the city and my now wife and i were working out one time when we were both like into the keto thing yeah and there's like two weeks in and i were working out one time when we were both like into the keto thing yeah

and there's like two weeks in and i was like doing something with a kettlebell and i just like laid on the ground and like almost went to sleep and i was like i can't i can't move my body anymore and she's like what do you need i'm like rice and so i made myself a bowl of rice yeah 25 minutes later i'm i'm back in the game um you look i'm sure there's people out there who it works for that's the other thing i don't think there is one muscle on that diet i would think it would be i watched a video from derrick where like he spelled out some stuff that i hadn't considered before where he's like because everybody who's on keto only gives you the highlight reel of keto. And then hearing someone like Derek talk about it where he's like, you know, a huge problem with this is it is borderline impossible to grow muscle at a decent rate with this diet.

And it's like, okay, well, the reasons I'm not smart enough to repeat, not knowledgeable enough to repeat what he knows than what he said, but it made sense. Yeah, that's fair. I started listening when you mentioned Derek. Whatever he said is probably right. I like the vertical diet thing because I like everything that's in it. It doesn't really cut out too much of anything. I can eat so much. I've really grown to like white rice. I got a new rice cooker cooker but i really like just cooking in the pan it's so easy to cook in a in a saucepan that i do that most of the time so it's fresh is uh i watched i haven't watched much of his content seen a couple videos is is greg

doucette like really short yeah okay that makes sense because he's like as wide as a house. So, okay. Proportionally, that makes sense. Yeah, he's very short. My guess off the top of my head is probably 5'6", 5'7". Okay. He's like, who's that other guy who's super knowledgeable, also very short? Oh, Athlean?

No, not. Oh, I didn't. I wasn't thinking Athlean. He's also short. Is he? Are all these guys short? Well, he's huge. Athlean? No, not... Oh, I didn't know. I was thinking Athlean. He's also short. Is he? Are all these guys short? Well, he's shorter. I think that it's easier to have

what's considered to be a good aesthetic physique the shorter you are. Just for whatever reason, just is. Whenever I see someone... Although... I don't know. I think in a camera. I think in a camera. I think in a camera.

It is. A lot of those guys are shorter. Jeff Nippard. Yeah, he's short too. Yeah. Because that guy's back is like you could put taillights on it. It's huge. I think I've seen videos with him and his girlfriend who's like super hot by the way but they're about the same height like he's um he's on the shorter side

that's a huge benefit in being like an online fitness guru is being shorter because you on screen you look monstrous that's what i'm saying like like i think if you go to a fitness competition that like i always heard anyway that Arnold would always beat this guy every year because he was three inches taller. He was like, didn't matter how hard little Billy worked, Arnold was three inches taller. Arnold would just

laugh and laugh. He'd write little Billy letters. He'd call him late at night. He was like, Arnold's fucking mean. he called him late at night and then like are there are there any like big fitness influencers like tall guys i think derrick's pretty tall but i don't know yeah derrick is very tall um i think he's like six five or something well then that's infinitely more impressive that he manages to look like that yeah he's a fucking gargantuan person i think um jesus christ he needs to go to like some of these fitness seminars and like meet up with the other fitness guys and

get pictures with them and that's all it would take for them to be like you're gonna buy this little pipsqueak protein powder yeah you're gonna buy greg doucette's protein powder as he's yelling like you know what he sounds like he sounds like the bird from Aladdin. Haven't you seen? A little bit. You haven't seen it. They had Gilbert Gottfried mock Greg Doucette. Oh, I haven't seen that. Because they both have the same voice.

Yeah. They have the same delivery. Almost entirely. You know it's a character, right? If anything, oh yeah. But Greg Doucette, I would say, wasn't quite as reserved and believable as the bird in Aladdin

with his character. It's a little much. Very knowledgeable though. I do you watch The Boys? I know Woody does. This is a topic for Woody, but it doesn't look like he's going to make it. Poor Jackie. I hope she's okay. Yeah, I hope she's okay as well. Hopefully it's good news. But do watch do you watch the boys you know the superhero i've

seen uh i've seen season one okay so homelander the big blonde superman stand-in who's just a horrific person it turns out the actor is also like a horrific person did he rape no no he's just like general douchebaggery so i think he's um that's not as bad he's either from new zealand or australia i don't know i don't know which but you know to an american you guys are like you guys go together like peas and carrots so um one of the other he was in some sort of situation at a bar or a restaurant or something and like he's like beat up a chef and then got into one of those arguments where he's like, don't you know who I am? I'm going to have you ruined.

I'm going to ruin you. You don't even know. I'm going to destroy your life. Like drunkenly threatening this guy with that sort of thing. And apparently beat up or at least struck the chef. Damn. And I'm sure he did a good.'s a big guy so he probably threw a pretty heavy hand looks like he got a 12 month suspended prison sentence in spain for this

so literally nothing so nothing at all for assault because he's in superhero movie uh-huh uh-huh in spain even in i bet spain is a place where like fifty thousand dollars means fucking suspended sentence and goodbye yeah a hundred thousand dollars means good luck on season two yeah oh no it's season three three i'm pumped for season three now be honest here he's a villain in the show does this make you like him more or less now that you know that he's a douchebag in real life very similar to how he is in the show because in the show you know like he's a douchebag in real life very similar to how he is in the show because this show you know like he's a sociopath he doesn't give a fuck about regular people it makes his character better and more believable but i still prefer the story of

like that interview i saw many many years ago of joffrey's actor where they were like asking him like what do you think about playing the most hated character in arguably television history and he's like well frankly it's an honor that people think the way I'm portraying the character is so good. You know, I know he's kind of not a good guy, but it really means a lot. It's like, oh, this seems like a nice, genuine, good guy who's just a good actor and good at playing smarmy little kids. So I prefer that the bad guys actually be nice people. No, fuck that. No, I want actual villains to play villains.

Like, they do it all the time. You know, they need some tough guy in a movie. They hire a professional athlete. They've had a lot of MMA fighters recently jumping in there. Terrible actors. Some of them do well. I think John Cena's great.

He's not MMA, but, you know, he's WWE. Even The Rock is a bad actor. He plays The Rock in every movie. I haven't disagreed yet. I'm trying to think of an example of him doing a good job acting. Think of a scene where he is surprised by something, and he gives that same open-mouthed face, and then he flexes.

And then he flexes. Yeah, I don't think The Rock is a good actor, I suppose. I do think John Cena is a good actor, though. Yeah. Yeah, he really poured his heart out to China in that video. What video? Did you not see that? He accidentally said that

Taiwan was like a separate area, and so there's this clip of him speaking Mandarin, going 無納上到西, 無納上到西, 無納上到西, 無納上到西, all that shit, and the subtitles are like like i had no idea what i was saying was and

it's like all these celebrities just kowtowing to china they're progressive as hell until china's like we don't like that say you're sorry it's like i'm so sorry please still watch my sport shit yeah no it's it's not about that it's because um but it's the disney thing it's got to be right of course yeah wait i mean wait wait wait wait i'm would that that would be no that's on hbo that's not connected to disney unless they own well i know disney owns everything and they make a lot of money in china it's got to be china's influence in general oh well that's really lame i didn't know that. I think John Cena's still a good actor, though. I really enjoyed him in this.

Of the wrestlers, he's probably the best. I think so. I think so. Although that Colby Covington guy, I think that he's working with Stone Cold Steve Austin a little bit to help him with his lines. What's he been in? He doesn't act. I'm talking about the stuff he says in the ring.

Like, what was that line that i sent you the other day where like you know he got hit in his last fight he won it handedly but like he got hit at one point went down on one knee and his quote was like i didn't get dropped i was taking a knee for the first responders this whole shtick is that he's like MAGA country and like he's a big Trump supporter 9-11 never forget yeah and you know he's like

when he comes out his music says you suck we fuck and the crowd's singing along easy lyrics it rhymes and you know his Instagram shit begins with him being like what's up nerds and virgins and he's got like and he's got like two very uncomfortable like paid models with him in

bikinis but like like shaking their asses and stuff while he like hawks some sort of crypto scheme and uh he uh on his last uh call out he said uh he said, I just took out some Miami street trash cause he'd beaten a Cuban guy. Now I'm going to take on some Louisiana street trash. Where are you at? Dustin Poirier, who's from Louisiana. You cuck. You cuck.

Show up at, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I'm going to kick your ass and bring that Jezebel of a wife of yours. And that little kid, Charlie, who's who is really Connor's son. Jesus Christ.

Like he is saying this next to Joe Rogan in front of no less than 600,000 people live. And and and, you know, then it goes on youtube and it's like that michael scott thing and then youtube gets a hold of it back in the day that was a joke but now it's like yeah and then youtube got a hold of it and three million more people saw it that day and so it's just like that is way over the line that is and and he's he's just following in like connor's little game because connor yeah that's how connor got his last fight with dustin connor just fought the guy that he's calling out and and and he was like bringing up like twitter dms with the guy's wife and stuff making that public and like saying that he fucked the guy's wife in public and and then connor went in there

and like beat him up and he fell and broke his leg and that's that's what fucked the guy's wife in public and then Connor went in there and beat him up and he fell and broke his leg. What's this guy's name? Dustin Poirier is the one who's getting called out. The one being shitty? Dude, that guy sounds like a cunt. He is the biggest cunt. Obviously, it's a character, but it's like,

dude, settle down. Don't bring his wife and kids into it, you dick. No one's ever brought kids in before. That's a shit- your move that's yeah yeah yeah but but that guy it's it's real shitty i don't i don't know how to feel about it hope he gets absolutely brutalized by the most progressive fighter on earth next time i hope a guy wearing a fucking gay pride shirt breaks his nose and he's i'm bleeding for the first response, and he kicks him in the side of the head. I wouldn't put any money on that.

I will bet. I've heard that he's good. He's really, really fucking good. He's like, if there's only one guy who's better and he's the champion, and it's just like, God damn it,

if it weren't for that guy, then this guy would just be the champion because nobody else can beat him. Colby's like really, really fucking good. Colby Covington, day or night, rain or shine, I will destroy you in Magic the Gathering. Oh.

He's too dumb. He couldn't read the cards. He's using cock as a meme. It's 2022, retard. You're six years late. You're six years late. That's in the millennium of internet time, you dumbass. He called his wife a Jezebel. Okay, I like that one.

Right. Jezebel is like a hearkening back to the Bible, which is Jezebel and Abraham. It's old school. Very cultural. That's high IQ. Your grandmother might have called somebody a Jezebel. Jezebel.

He knows that nobody will bleep that. He can get that on ESPN. I don't like him bringing the wife and kids into it, though. That's pretty classless. I don't like it, but it doesn't make it any less entertaining. That's fair, but it's trashy. There's lots of things that I don't like and that I think are trashy and awful, but I can't not watch.

And Colby Covington is one of those things. Just like the war in Ukraine. I was going to say, I don't not watch. And Colby Covington is one of those things. Just like the war in Ukraine. I was going to say, I don't care for what's going on. I'll go so far as to say I dislike it. I hate it. Two thumbs down is the official stance of our show. I've seen so many Russians burn alive this week. Really? Oh. I only saw the one tank video you sent last time we talked. so like every i was saying earlier i don't know if we're recording yet but like the way to virtue signal now is to send ukrainians a rocket to yeah yeah a russian um and so like everybody's down so i keep seeing

like video after video and what happens i guess is like the russian tanks like and maybe just tanks in general like up on top where these javelins especially are hitting them is where the ammunition is. And they cook off, which is where the ammunition starts this chain reaction of exploding inside the tank. And then the turret explodes off of it and this big fireball and everybody inside is just vaporized.

And I've seen so many, so many those uh tanks do that this week i don't know how many russians i've seen so much awful shit i don't know how much i'm almost like i'm trying to slow down and always look for like verification that things are real because some of it's so awful i saw a whole family dead in the streets like little kids the dogs were dead like um i saw like i watched an old couple get like blown the fuck up in their car um by by some russians and uh just lots of awful awful shit so many dead kids um they they hit a children's hospital a couple days ago i guess i heard about that that's horrible yeah what's what's a worse thing to strike than that is there on the list of things

a children's hospital holocaust survivors i don't think there's just like a place they're all hanging out holocaust survivor like meet up 2022 it's the last 18 holocaust survivors we're we're meeting at the saint jude children's hospital to commemorate surviving the holocaust like yeah yeah and then they they die in that okay that would be worse that'd be worse but but children's hospital is pretty high up there i think they're like like children's i think it's like a children's cancer ward too it's not even for boo-boos it's for no that's the problem they couldn't flee you know they needed to be hooked up to something it's a maternity ward no that's what it was oh that's

the worst oh it was the sick maternity ward oh oh no no it was the terminally ill term uh maternity ward it was newborns who were definitely not going to make it you're you can't be telling the truth about that one does that make it better or worse strangely better yeah it was newborns who were like touch and go that's the worst that's the worst like there was hope mr smith i regret to inform you your son is a bit touch and go what does that mean you know half in half out uh however you want to see it i'm a glass half full kind of guy i'm i'm a nick you half full kind of guy and we're

overflowed so you can take your half dead son home i'd appreciate it oh yeah it's pretty horrific um i don't know how putin's gonna get out of this thing he's backed himself into a corner uh he has anything happened like progress wise like on the lines like the battle lines because like you know you see like the areas the russians have moved to have they got a lot more so broadly speaking here's the situation whenever you see that like oh the russians have taken this big red blob and they move the blob in closer that's bullshit because the russians can't drive on anything that isn't road unless they're in the in the south where it's dry and arid everything up around the capital in the north is like bogged the fuck down and those vehicles like it's hard to imagine how much they

weigh like like a car weighs like 5 000 pounds i think like roughly cars are like 5 000 pounds those tanks are like 25 tons don't 20 000 tons i think they're 25 000 they're gigantic they're just they're thousands of thousands of pounds and they just like sink down to nothing in the mud and uh one of the things i saw the ukrainians playing this out very well they released a reservoir and like flooded this huge area of farmland out south of Kiev. But the tanks are just on the roads in lines. And then they can't get fuel to the tanks. The fuel trucks all have flat tires because the rubber was dry rotted. And of course, the whole time...

They're shitty Chinese tires. They're shitty chinese tires they're shitty chinese tires and they're using a mixture of like drones and guerrilla tactics to just continuously pick at the long convoys that are just stopped in the road yeah and tonight or like i don't know what time it is in ukraine it's probably getting toward the middle of the night by now um but it's uh i think negative 20 celsius whatever that is oh my god and they can't run their Oh my God. And they can't run their, is that a real temperature? They can't run their tanks and stuff to stay warm.

Cause they, they don't have fuel. And the inside of a tank is like a heat sink. It just sucking all the heat away from you. Like you can't like build up any heat. Like you couldn't attend or something like that. So, um,

that could legitimately be Russians freezing to death tonight. Yeah. Minus four Fahrenheit. They could absolutely freeze to death. I listened to captured phone calls from the Russians. That's how they're being so accurate. By the way, the Russians don't have field encrypted field community,

Munich encrypted field communications that are effective. So they either get listened in on, or they get their cell phones, GPS tracked and shot because they have artillery that can just aim at a GPS and shoot it. But they were, they were playing the the Russian soldiers talking about looting and how they had,

there's like, I got a mink coat for you and an Arctic Fox for little Mika. And yeah, fuck the, and the wife back home was like, yeah, fuck those drug addicts and nazis steal it all it was like yeah i shot a car up today she's like did you like yeah i killed them all good

get them all and then the one guy was just like yeah we captured a few of them and we tied them up and searched him and we had to decide if we're going to let them go because they might tell people where we were so we just shot them all in the head jesus christ and and they're just like laughing about it and it's it's real maniacal stuff that's pretty dark talking about uh the guy's like oh yeah i got a new ratchet it's in the box like they're just talking about looting like and stealing like all sorts yeah and the wife or whatever is effectively pillaging kiev yeah or the wife whatever city it is just just wherever they are the The wife is like, they let you do that? She's like, oh, yes. They got things of their own. It's just like, oh, okay.

Jesus Christ. Things of their own? What do you mean? Yeah, like the higher-ups have stolen things of their own. Oh, okay. Like everybody's looting. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a war.

Everybody's stealing. Everything is not nailed down. Yeah, it's pretty awful. But I'm seeing a lot of Russians dying, so that's pretty cool. But you don't think it's pretty awful but i'm seeing a lot of russians dying so that's pretty cool um i wasn't you don't think it's going to end anytime soon hopefully it does uh-uh no i think i'm maybe having a fit of wishful thinking but i'm hoping they come to an agreement to no calm it down stop the one thing that's interesting um one thing that i would have said zero percent but but now i would uh say like maybe sometime soon because uh putin has already backed down a little you know originally his deal was that's good his deal was

like um we're going to take over ukraine um we've got to denazi not to fight ukraine um all these regions are ours the all of ukraine is ours and uh you know the leadership has to go and now it's The leadership has to go. And now it's, okay, you keep Ukraine. We take Crimea and those other two regions and let us elect some sort of a secondary leader who is Russian and agree not to join NATO. So already he's loosened up quite a bit. But Zelensky, I don't think, is open to that

because his cities are in rubble and there's tens of thousands of people die, uh, dead or dying. The Russian number of casualties, uh, depending on who you believe is definitely in the thousands already. The Russians have admitted. Um, but, but the Ukrainians seem to think it's over 10,000. Uh, yeah. Who knows what to believe on total number of Russians. Putin, um um originally said they

asked him the question about conscripts which i i believe is when you just force somebody up into the military and send them in yeah and uh and he was like absolutely not we don't use conscripts it's against the law and then like a day later he came out he's like actually we were using conscripts those generals will be punished severely. They were. They fired like seven or eight generals the next day. I did not know that. So now they've literally admitted.

So those guys who are like, we thought we were on a training exercise. I don't even have clean underwear. It's like, I think that they just, it was like that scene they just sent a bunch of young adult young kids in there unknowingly they're like like in america our reservists like have like jobs and they're technicians and stuff and like they know their shit this was like not even reservist these guys were like dude i'm a fucking accountant i don't

know what the fuck's up like like i don't know what the fuck's up. Like, I don't know. What the fuck is this thing? Like, they don't know what they're doing. Jesus Christ. That's fucked up. There was one unit. The best thing I saw was there was this unit in a barn, and they were interviewing these guys in a barn.

They were like, our commanders told us we have to sign this piece of paper that says that we were all fired from the army two months ago. So that way, our presence here is not Russian military presence. I guess we just wandered here without food or sleeping bags to live in this barn. They left us. It was just like, that is so fucking hilarious. It doesn't seem like the Russian army has much care for the lives of their soldiers. I'll tell you what.

Apparently what you're saying, they're not even soldiers. They just seized some guy who worked at the bank and was like, hey, guess what? You get to go on a fun training exercise when you see fucking Kiev in two miles. It's a mistake. miles it's a mistake it's so clear that that that putin wanted to be viewed as like big strong and influential on the world stage and he has done like he's ruined himself and his country like like this this is not go i occasionally see someone like maybe he's playing 2d chess here and it's like you're the same person you're the same person who always like it's like no donald trump doesn't have any plans but but but suddenly putin

is a mastermind no putin is fucked there's no way he wanted the ruble to be worth 0.7 pennies each there's no way he wanted like all of these firms and major companies. I saw a video inside of a Russian mall today. Now, granted, you're probably thinking, show me a video in an American mall. But I think Russian malls are more trafficked than our malls are. I think they're like 15 years behind us on that curve. And everything's closed. The shutters are down on everything. You couldn't buy anything.

I saw a guy who cleaned out a McDonald's and froze it all because there's no more McDonald's there. But Putin said this, and if they go through with this, I haven't been watching the news, he's basically saying let's start another Cold War and just go for a generation. I think he was talking about privatizing all of the assets

from these companies who are supposedly pulling out. Nationalizing them. Yes, nationalizing them and keeping them. He's like, oh, you don't want to run a McDonald's here? Well, the place is going to open up tomorrow and they're going to be selling Big Macs. Wait, you can't do that.

Yeah, you can. We own that now. No, we own that. Oh, you can't do that. Yeah, you can. We own that now. No, we own that. Oh, I can't use McDonald's? I just invaded Ukraine. You think anybody's going to be talking about the fucking burger restaurant? They're saying that they may relax trademark and copyright laws so that they can just steal software they need, steal trademarks that they want to continue using.

I don't know it did so mcdonald's goes we're removing all of our stores and he's like then we will put more people in there and put more beef in there and make burgers yeah i i think they'll just like make it a mcdowell's or something serve some russian beef i don't know what the fucking plan is with literally a mcdonald's but so much of their stuff is closed that that i think that it's gotten the general population to start talking about it to the point where like maybe uh they'll figure out what's going on i still see plenty of people who don't care you know or happy about it you know they're like yeah get the get them you know like russians yeah yeah you know you'll

be like where do you see that i've read it oh okay i don't know where which um well it's pro pro russia r slash pro russia no well there's russia phobia um there's there's that subreddit and it's all um people like like look at all i'm 14 and i'm in like switzerland and i'm getting bullied for being russian and everybody's like oh my god can you imagine like just melting down and stuff and like you know making it propaganda and stuff mostly there's there's plenty of that and and i've seen i've seen like mainstream media go in russia you know in saint petersburg or moscow or whatever be like pull out an ipad and like like here's what's happening in Ukraine. And either they won't look at it or they'll be like, yeah, that's

propaganda. I'm a Putin man through and through. Whatever he wants to do, that's what I want to do. They literally say stuff like that. So it can be really disheartening when you realize that even if you were to win sort of the information war

that maybe they wouldn't care what they heard or saw because i feel so awful when i see those fucking kids dead oh and then they showed like they're they're one of the stories was this lady who got killed in a bombing because she was going back to save the starving dogs at the pound and they were like oh you donate here if you want to help save the starving dogs at the pound. And they were like, Oh, and you donate here. If you want to help save the starving dogs at the pound. And I'm like, Oh no, not war refugee puppers. Why don't I donate?

Fuck. Here's 10 bucks for the Ukrainian dog. Oh my God. It's fucking on and on. I feel so awful. Um, and then I see the old crying ladies and oh today i saw like there was a little kid a little refugee kid she was like three and like a little fuzzy hoodie and shit

and they and she had like this little like i don't know like a little chunk of bread out of like a fucking aladdin right like a like a like a hunk of bread in her hands and she she like takes a bite of it and she sees the cameramen's look at her and she goes you want my refugee bread she's like yeah and i was like she's offering her little bit of bread i mean that's so fucking sweet that's obviously propaganda what are you talking about setting up a shoot to have them hand bread over come on you think they told the kid to hand the cameraman the bread? Yes. Yeah, probably. See, like, that kind of thing is just too on the fucking nose.

It's too on the nose that they're there with their film and their lighting and their... Ooh, look at this. It wasn't like that. It was just like they're filming like a crowd. Like, this is like a bustling crowd of people and stuff moving around. This was not propaganda. I will trust your careful eye on it. I find the propaganda. I saw the Samuel Hyde video.

Did you watch that? I did watch some of that. It was so rambling and incoherent and weird and in the background he had that other guy like just randomly moving stuff around and like shuffling about wait which are you talking about the where he was talking about the baby how he wants to have a adopt a baby because they only have three guys in their in their apartment and they need a fourth for four player games and they like requests they want a baby with like no no no can we get one with uh ms nope so that it can't get up it just wants a game nope i didn't see the one you're talking

about this is about um and again forgive me if i'm wrong about this because it was very rambling but it seemed to me that he was talking it was like a nose for him it was almost like a poem and he was talking about if vladimir putin were his son oh you know what that's based on right and and he seemed to be like going back and like he was imagining if he was like a trans man or something and vladimir like you know it got so complicated that like like i got confused a few times about what gender he was pretending to be and what gender or his wife or, and or husband, partner or whatever.

I was so confused by the scenario he was laying out for me. And it was rambling about like, I would love you little Vladimir. I would, I would tell you, you were great. I would tell you were strong and to never masturbate. And it was just like,

it was like, I'm just making that up on the top of my head. But like, that was a good one. It was weird shit like that. Like, like, making that up on the top but but like that was a good one it was weird shit like that like like oh yeah do you know what that's i'm gonna watch that after the show because it's gonna be funny do you know what that's based on so there was this huge meme that this like white woman influencer made who like straight up was called like, if I was Putin's mom and like everyone was roasting a stupid bitch who was, who was like,

if I was your mom, Vladimir, I would love you and I would make you feel loved. That's what he did. He would never feel the need to lash out ever again because I would love you, Vladimir so much. And I would care for you. And if you just had a mother who cared,

we wouldn't be in this predicament. We need more mothers who care for their son, a brambling bullshit and so yeah that's what he's making fun of yep yep i did i didn't even know that yeah yeah that's that's absolutely it um chip shifting gears a little bit i'm looking at my i'm looking at my little notebook of like things i noticed this week there's a lot of uh i i found a guy who died in Florida in a really shitty way. I guess pun intended. So this guy worked in a landfill.

Just imagine this guy's life up until this point. Terrible. Sounds awful. This young man's job is working in a Florida landfill. It's probably hot. Probably even now in March it's hot as fucking balls well he was out there and he had to take a shit and uh luckily for him there was a porta potty so he

hops in the porta potty starts taking his shit and uh along comes his buddy and a bulldozer and uh because he was heading like up up a hill you know the front of the boat bulldozer obscured his view he didn't realize that he was driving right over a port-a-potty and so a bulldozer uh makes well it's just no match it makes short work of you short work of a of a port-a-potty and a man inside of that plastic just bends to its will because it's thousands of pounds. And so it just mushed him inside the port-a-potty. And what was inside must have been just a horrific scene. How did they separate him from everyone else's shit from that day?

It'd be impossible. He has his own shit in there too. It'd be impossible. There would be a shit in there too. It'd be impossible. There would be a mixture of man, port-a-potty, and shit. If that happened to me, just bury me whole. Bury me in the port-a-potty. Back the bulldozer up and start piling dirt on top. Just leave me there.

Don't look at what's in there. Don't open that door. That's not being my best. I would haunt the shit out of that guy. there don't look at what's in there don't open that door that's not being my best i would i would haunt the shit out of that guy i wouldn't want you to open that door if i was just taking a shit i don't want you to see that you don't need to see that you don't have to see that i certainly don't want you to see me if i've been crushed while taking this shit it's so awful and it's all your all your all your viscera mixed with the poo and the landfill yeah well that's a good you know for this is the best place for it to happen

it's the worst place for it to have a landfill you just kind of kind of move it right you just kind of push him push him a little further make a mistake further into the landfill i smell you gotta hose the area down i suppose if that was your concern there's no like cleanup per se i was meaning if it happened like on a busy street oh that would be worse at least it was landfill yeah well that poor guy working a shitty job he's already thinking god i fucking hate shitting in porta potties this is the worst part of my day but he didn't know dude what if he was taking a piss oh that would be even more tragic just like a a 35 second window of death what if what if he he had been like pissing behind some barrels and they had been giving him shit about it they're like going and he's like dude

it's just us dudes out here who cares he's like we're gonna get written up if that lady comes down again and so like he's pissing in there because they hired marge to like oversee the trash men because someone said there's no lady trash man what about that so they made like the head trash man for the region making six figures a lady so all these poor trash men that were called this is a made-up scenario none of this is true but they're you know they were working under their under her heel under you're selling me man under her boot and like poor larry having to go in there and piss in that hot porta potty where it smells instead of behind the barrel like he's been doing for 27 years now three years away from his his his pension his pension yeah and and daughter just graduated from college and, and that new, and that young little, um, that white, um,

trans girl that they hired recently, um, with the, with the Fox ears, she's driving the bulldozer. Oh no. Yeah. She's her, her visions obscured by the Fox ears. Well, she has to sit kind of funny because of the butt plug. So she couldn't see over the front. He's got the tail she's got the fox tail in sitting on her chair with like like her ass it's part of her idea yeah it's part of her identity so she has allowed to wear it there at the you know at the job and but but it prevents

her from seeing her at the top so now three years away from his pension um the the the fox boy has has smushed him while he's just taking a leak in there because everybody was, meanwhile, butt plug hanging out all day. Nobody says a peep because it's part of that person's identity. He should have made pissing behind barrels part of his identity.

He should have identified as a dog man, hiked his leg. He'd still be alive. He would be. He'd look silly, but it'd be worth it. I'll tell you what be he'd look silly but it'd be worth it you know tell you what is when you get smashed into a poo capsule by your friend in a bulldozer but it looks like if you took a lego and squished a frog with it and then like i can imagine like the guy drives over it do you think immediately he's like i pray there was no one in there or do you think you can like see the amount of like pop in a gusher remember when you used to like

suck on a gusher until the the thin walls and then it pop in your mouth like that fuck i don't know i don't know i i think he would definitely know he was hitting it unless he was in a huge piece of machinery like just the the little crumpling noises and that like there's a little bit of a bump no matter what it is like you know like i've driven big dozers and big like trackos and stuff but like you know if it's got tires that fucking tracks it's like i don't know i i like to imagine that like the guy died quickly but there's no way he did he died in over the course of like four or five seconds of sheer terror. He died the way he lived. Shitty.

Terrified and amongst filth. Yeah. I hate like stories like that are like deaths that don't mean anything and that are totally avoidable. Like accidents like that are so sad where it's just like you're like someone's had thoughts and feelings and aspirations and ideas and it's just like, oh, accident for two seconds, gone. I mean, calm down. He was a garbage man. He had ideas about how to collect the garbage, how to dispose of the garbage, how to move the garbage. Let's not act like they had Leonardo da Vinci and the shitter out at the Route 30 dump. Okay.

Well, who knows? We've all seen films about the genius janitor. How about this? I bet Don's donuts. The guy's probably a pedophile if he's working at a Florida landfill, if we're being honest. You know what? That is how I make my mind okay with things.

He was a pedophile. Yeah. I mean, if you look at the rate they're being caught these days, you flip a coin and somebody's a pedophile. I mean, there's two of us here. Frankly, folks. I hope it's not me. I hope it's not me. That's all I know.

Because every fucking week, it's like, oh yeah, that YouTuber. Yeah, he's a pedophile and this celebrity oh yeah they're all pedophiles and then it'll be like massive pedophile ring found in Yorkshire 87 court and then it's like wait tell me more anyway

anyway couple of them former members of of parliament pay no heed it's fucking wild It's fucking wild. It's fucking wild. They do it the same way like the NBA did with their refs, where the NBA came to the table and was like, okay, one of our refs was fixing games,

but we fired that guy and we're full steam ahead. We got rid of that guy who was doing this. That's almost what i feel like with the weinstein and the epstein stuff where they're like so many people are like oh we got this snake out of hollywood and it's like dude that guy's not even a percentage of the problem they want everyone to be like oh there we got them and close the books and get out of here yeah yeah yeah it was funny like as when me too was like that wildly popular there were so many celebrities coming out like oh it was an open secret the whole time there's lots of open secrets in hollywood it's like what are they i think uh uh i don't i still

want to be able to do avatar 3 i think that um a lot of so the idea of these celebrities that they want to be relatable and they want to be like desirable and they want their lifestyle to appear desirable so that you want to be more like them so you want to watch them do their thing um and and you know that you'll buy products they endorse it's important to them but but nowhere do you get to see the real version of them um better than when you get a an honest reaction out of somebody you see them in the heat of the moment and you got that for once when ricky gervais was uh was hosting that time um you got to see people react to someone going off script while there was a camera there and embarrassing them in public. No one's ever done that.

Do you think that any of those celebrities have anyone in their day-to-day lives who would roast them? No. Anything close to that. They're surrounded by yes men and and maybe you could say oh but but this clint clint eastwood there he's fucking real it's like all right so maybe somebody called clint eastwood a coke head like in the 70s or something okay but that doesn't get past my point they were so offended and like oh my when like like to ricky gervais like like honest real opinions about like the way that they've

been behaving themselves i wish that that he was hosting every award show every fucking year and and he would and he would he was just their police that that should be the cost of being a celebrity that ricky gervais gets to uh uh gets to no knock warrant your home at any time. He gets the award show host version of a no-knock warrant against you. He gets to turn that into a roast against anyone who attends. I'm totally against no-knock warrants, except

for people who work in Hollywood. I agree with that. They've got safe rooms where they hide things. That's where the little girls go. If you're like, Mr. Ball can I come in give me 45 minutes actually you know what give me one minute

I can get this done I'm super against the no knock warrants of course it's fucked up cause every now and then you knock on the wrong fucking house and kill people. Unless you're, look, I'm okay with the military not knocking on some fucking sand dune across the other side of the world. All right?

Help. Don't even go there. Blow the fuck up. That doesn't impact me at all. No. It doesn't impact the people who employ the soldiers either, which is important. But we've got some fucking people running the streets, no knock warranting. And that poor black lady that got killed.

And then like the I think there was some civil litigation. They got like 10 or 18 million dollars, something like that. Fuck. Yeah. For the Breonna Taylor death, I think that was the one where he like shot through a wall into someone else's apartment. Also, right. Dude, his story is so comical. He saw a muzzle flash and thought there was someone shooting a rifle. I saw a muzzle flash and I just knew that the perpetrator was inside and he was executing my fellow

officers in the head one at a time. Meanwhile, nothing of the sort was occurring what in reality what was happening is they all were scared in the dark and shooting into a woman's apartment so so like he-man flanks around and starts blasting through a glass sliding door into someone else's home and so that's what this whole trial that just happened was all about. It was about whether he recklessly fired his firearm into a white man's apartment while they were killing the black woman, because that's settled. We don't need to talk about that. The 18 million went to the guy in the other apartment?

The 18 million was a civil thing that that went up went down out of court i believe between like me the city and the brianna taylor family um but but there's been no legal proceeding about her death really really yeah they killed are they not going are they not going to no they're not going to and then recently you had that thing i don don't like cops very much. No, nobody likes cops. I don't care for them very much. There's always like the, oh, but there's so many good cops. And I'm sure there are, but I haven't met, I've met one. Yeah, me too. And I've met many cops.

I've met many, many cops. And I know one who's a genuinely cool guy who doesn't want to fuck with people. Like he, he wants to take it low and slow. Like he's a very, he's not very confrontational guy, but did you see that old cop? Um,

he was retired who like gunned the guy down in the movie theater. No. When did this happen? So the trial just, it just ended. That's, that's why I'm aware of it. He was like a 61 year old white grandfather in a movie theater and there's

video of it and full sketchy what actually happened but i think his story is that like this guy attacked him and he pulled out his uh concealed weapon he's retired and uh he killed this man in the fucking movie theater and i watched the video and what the guy does he takes a bag of popcorn and throws it in grandpa's face and he shoots him for it kills him and it killed him and he just he just got off at trial but um i started thinking about it and i was like you know what it's pretty disrespectful throwing that bag of popcorn in that old man's face so he is this guy curtis reeves the old west if somebody throwing a bag of popcorn in an old man's face,

first of all, you'd be impressed by how much money that is wasted because that popcorn would have been rare. Yeah, it would have been more rare. I wish I could find the video for this. It looks like this old... Oh, I don't know why I thought it was an old white guy shooting a black person. It's an old white guy shooting a younger white guy it looks like yeah yeah yeah okay yeah luckily for him on video there's no way that guy could have

seen a black man in that dark theater anywhere doesn't seem like he could see fucking anything he hit that guy popcorn okay oh yeah dude i love hearing um speeches that have been written by lawyers. He goes, what happened then? Well, it's hard to say exactly what occurred then, but I know I was struck in the face and I was discombobulated and my glasses were askew. And these are all things that cannot be disproven, no matter what.

Totally unfalsifiable. What does discombobulated mean? It's kind of in the air. are all things that cannot be disproven like no matter what totally unfalsifiable what does this mean it's a it's kind of in the air like it's a feeling fearing for your safety mean yeah where his glasses weren't knocked off i'm sure his lawyer at some point was like were your glasses knocked off no it could have been a little skew though right well no they stayed on i gotta get glasses but they could have been a skew yeah i suppose they could have been askew my memory is a little fuzzy that's right it is because because i'm discombobulated that's right sir and then like somebody had like walked him through exactly how to lay out what had happened to him so but it's whatever i i guess what i thought

about it a lot and i what it boiled down to for me was if you're a piece of shit in a movie theater throwing popcorn in old men's faces, I like that there's one less of you. That is unbelievably rude behavior to throw popcorn at someone. A whole bag of popcorn. He threw it hard, struck him in the face with the bag. Wasting $11. I'm not trying to blow what he did. And then the bag struck him and his head kicked back. Back and to the left. It's disrespectful.

I always try to be so quiet and polite in movie theaters and not make any noise. I'd be so embarrassed my phone went off like oh yeah always silent sit there like if i i'm whispering i'm okay whispering quietly during a previews like when you're sitting there like oh that kind of looks okay or that looks like garbage can you believe that but yeah shut the fuck up and and let everybody else enjoy what they paid for just as much as you yeah absolutely 100 previews it's fine like like like i'll tell you what's the preview although don't like this is that new peter jackson flick yeah i think he does cocaine what is this you always know that guy where it's like, this movie's an hour and 40 minutes long and you have five beers in front of

you. Like, first of all, iron bladder. How the hell are you going to, but you're, you're going to drink a beer every 12 minutes for the next two hours. I think I'm going to go to this weekend.

I want to see the Batman. I know you saw it. Yeah. And you don't, you didn't care for it too much. Let me, let me say this about like, cause I don't know anything about it. I want to see the Batman. I know you saw it. You didn't care for it too much. Let me say this about because I don't know anything about it. I don't want any spoilers.

Here's what I know. Just from seeing posters and that sort of thing. Looks like Robert Pattinson is going to play a Batman who doesn't really want to be a Batman very much. It's going to have to slowly be brought into it over time. it seems like he's much more grounded with his car and

with the armor and everything like he's less of a godlike figure and more of like a guy driving a hot rod around beating people up and it seems like he's more of a detective this time too than like um like like hoity-toity billionaire maybe because i haven't seen any like pictures of him like really in a tuxedo doing like boardroom shit it seems like he's just beating people up and maybe at a party once there is yeah i'm not gonna spoil anything but like because i saw reviews i didn't i went in blind but i saw not even reviews i saw people on twitter being like this is so good it's such a great batman so i went in with, but I saw not even reviews. I saw people on Twitter being like, this is so good. It's such a great Batman. So I went in with high hopes and like, I'm not one to bitch about long movies.

My favorite movies are Lord of the Rings. I like long epics that build the story and that get you more invested in the character development. I enjoy that. I really do. This movie is, it's too long for what they delivered to you it's almost three hours long and there are huge spans i felt like where the plot was not being progressed in a meaningful way that wasn't that interesting there was way too much passive brooding i'll call it from robert pattinson going on um and it like i just i wasn't blown away by it i was expecting something on the same

level of of good as the christian bale series but uh the the joker i would put this movie this movie is not nearly as good as the joker one the dark whatever, if that's what it's called. Uh, it's probably, it's better than the Bane one, I would say. Oh, and also it's worse. It's worse than the Liam Neeson one, the Liam Neeson one and the Joker one are better than this by far.

So I don't like, I'm a big fan of Christopher Nolan movies, but I don't like the Christopher Nolan Batman movies. I like the second one with, um, the Joker, but I think the first one is just okay. As far as like superhero movies go. And the third one is bad, bad.

Less than average, a 3 or 4 out of 10. Bad movie. It was years ago that you told me the Bane one was bad, and I remember being like, he's wrong. And then I rewatched it and was like, oh, this was bad. It's like you want it to be good. Because I like Tom Hardy a lot. It's also because like christopher nolan is a really good filmmaker so he has set a story up to make you want big things and good things to happen the music is amazing it's it's it's building to the moment but then when you get to when you stop if you pause that movie in the in the finale of the

third chris nolan batman movie and you realize what's happening here. You've basically got a very similar scenario to the 1960s Batman TV show where they like, wham! Splat! It's a daytime free-for-all

fist fight between men in costumes and henchmen and police officers in new york with a nuclear weapon like sitting over there and the bomb is comically shaped like you know like a cannonball or something like that and at the end the big man has to fly it away the whole thing is like a children's cartoon it's not even as good as a children's cartoon because that old batman cartoon that i watched as a kid was fire that that was so good i loved the um it's the one where mark hamill is the joker that was a yeah that was a really good show i

saw some episodes of that animated series when i was a kid and i never it was one of those where like i didn't know what time it was on so i would catch random episodes same as like dragon ball z i remember coming home from school and watching dragon ball z and having no idea what the fuck was happening because it would never be sequential it's definitely not batman beyond uh mark hamill might have done voice work in batman beyond it but i'm thinking of it's batman the animated adventures i think oh the animated series yeah i've seen yeah yeah i would know it if i saw it maybe you'll like it more i hope you like the batman more than i did it just it took too long it was it was not you went to the theater huh yeah yeah i went to the theater uh it was like

probably halfway full it was more full than i expected but it was also one of those theaters where like we went to the ones with the huge like big sofa seats that everybody gets with the recliners and and so it's only got like what uh a 60 person capacity at most and i bet there were 30 people there it was a fun experience i like going to the movies. Yeah, I haven't been since COVID. Is there any mask wearing going on in there? No. No, nobody. It's over. Don't you love it?

It's over. For now, the TSA or whatever is saying still masks, but they even admit they're like, we're about to go to some sort of middle ground, but we haven't exactly figured out what that is yet but like they're about to make it so that like oh you're vaccinated then no mask like that's coming to the airplanes like in a month yeah there's like no there's no masks around where i am at all hardly but i'm just saying like on a global scale like it was yeah decided that it was over about two

weeks ago yeah it was decided like we, we're not doing this anymore. They canceled COVID just like they're canceling Russia right now. They're like, Coca-Cola has decided COVID doesn't exist anymore. Ah, GE also decided COVID doesn't exist. Hi, I'm from the UK. COVID doesn't exist here either. Woo! And everybody went in a big circle and decided.

Yay, we all agree. So we can can I guess stop anyway on to Ukraine I know Woody's point was like oh but it's the Omicron variant it went it burned out and then like the news is like actually the Omicron variant weakened cells for hardier variants that are yet to come

instead of the next the Omicron variant because they've got Omicron patients that they're dissecting in japan taylor they've got they've got north korea oh vivisecting i'm glad i remembered this like like all jokes aside there's this fucking youtube series that made me cry the other day because it's north koreans um reacting to like shit and like for the first time or whatever and they have like these two like ex-north korean

soldier guys and then they got a north korean soldier girl and uh she she's the one i was watching because um i guess she made a few of these videos she's reacting to like what school buses look like in america or whatever you know and then whatever and it was cute and so someone sent her a care package from the u.s and she opens it up and it's front up it's full of pop tarts and like um cheetos and cheez-its and goldfish and she's just like starts breaks down and starts fucking crying she's like i've never been given a gift before i've never even had a birthday gift jesus someone has given me all of this all of this for me why why am i so special and then she starts reading the card dude and it's a troll it's rio the the shit got sent to her from someone named rihanna in space force

rihanna in space force and i was like please no one tell her that this is just a joke and that americans are wasteful with their money because she was so touched. It was so sweet. She's eating the Pop-Tart. She's like, ooh, strawberry! Gaining weight in real time. Every little food is an adventure for her. Some beef, like Jack Link's

beef jerky. She's like, it's like a dried sausage, huh? We're like, yeah. Yeah, and that's the worst brand of it we have. Every brand but that is better i like seeing them uh react to like american military because they've been told their whole lives that like north korean military is like neck and neck with us for sure and and it's only because the u.s is like with japan that they are like strong enough to even like be a problem yeah that's what they're told they've got two enemies in north korea japan obviously south Japan, that they are strong enough to even be a problem.

Yeah, that's what they're told. They've got two enemies in North Korea. Japan, obviously South Korea. But Japan and the U.S. are the real problem. Otherwise, there'd be one Korea. That's their idea. Japan and the U.S. are the real problem. And so these guys are like, they're asking, what were you told about your weapon systems?

We were told that maybe not the best, but close. And we had way more. So it didn't even matter. And then they would show them like, oh, we have this laser system that shoots a laser beam off of a boat and blows shit up. And they couldn't understand it at first. They were like, I don't get it. It's a cannon, right? We have big cannons they're like no no it's a beam of light

and then they both went oh no you have this so then it travels at the speed of light. And you're like, yeah. Okay, well then he's pretty bright. And then the voice that's narrating the video they're watching goes, and it only costs a dollar per shot. Because it's just light. It's just energy from a nuclear battery or some shit. And then they looked at just various aircraft.

And just seeing them blown away is pretty funny. Are these defectors? Yeah, they escape. So they'll like what was what did you do and he's like i mostly shoveled snow and you know you'd shovel snow and you'd finish shoveling snow from all day and you'd look behind you and more snow so you'd shovel more snow i shoveled a lot of snow right and probably no shoes or shitty shoes and shorts uh it looked pretty rough oh that what's fun is to see them eat different foods so like yeah that would be neat seeing them experience something good for probably one of the first times yeah um like like seeing that lady eat a

twinkie for the first time and like with her with her poor rotten teeth and knowing that this was just gonna send her down a path. A dangerous path. We don't need to be introducing North Korean refugees to sugar. Just lean them in. Give them some stuff with xylitol in it. Xylitol tastes like dog shit, but if someone's never had anything but dog shit,

it's going to taste pretty good it was it was real sad um to see them react to something like normal shit and just be blown away because they've been told so many lies um it's pretty wild you know we joked around about the uh the pledge of allegiance last week yeah i said that shit every day but they didn't like hammer it in or anything and they didn't like let us know that mexico was our fucking blood enemy and that one day that we were going to have to kill all the mexicans or they'd eat our babies and that's the kind of shit that they tell them yeah well i mean they have total media control so they can say whatever they want like they're not even allowed to like if they're caught with like a thumb drive or something that they found from the outside world they get executed like it's it's insane the

authoritarianism they have going on makes us feel very lucky to not have been born in a country like that have you seen them in moscow and st petersburg grabbing people in the streets and taking their phones and be like open your phone they open their phone and they start swiping through to see if they've written if they've looked at any websites they're not supposed to or texted anybody or tweeted about anything um in ukraine and if they did they're they're yoinking them fuck like i watched them these guys first of all they're dressed like fucking stormtroopers like i mean like black robocop men in helmets and he's he's like flicking through his this guy's phone like looking for fucking propaganda or some shit and the guy's just like fuck i'm glad i didn't look

up any propaganda you see i told you i told you pays to be a good boy look at this he's gonna look through can i have it back now daddy thank you thank you very much i would just like i'd have my sit my my home screen set to like putin just so they're like, wow, this guy's number one fan. And I'm like, I'm wearing a Putin hat. I got a Putin sound maker. What's the password? USSR.

USSR. It's USA. Bang! Just dead. Dude, it's fucking wild what is going on in the world yeah now yeah it's uh i think i said last week this is like the third biggest thing i think that's happened in my my short little 35 years on this earth i think the biggest thing is 9 11 and the second biggest thing is the indonesian um tsunamis uh and then i think this falls right and and this could get this could right. And this could catch up.

This could catch up. Pray that it does not, but anything's possible. This is why I'm not going to pray. I'm not going to do any magic. Send well wishes to your heavenly I'm not going to pray. I'm not going to do any magic spells. Probably not going to do

any dances. I'll pray for you. I'm not going like burn any herbs uh i might make a big big golden calf talk to it about this whole scenario that can't that can't hurt i've heard of people doing that before and it worked for them uh golden calves golden calves are are big but they have been big i think they're on the comeback they could be but but i refuse to do anything else um i i sent a little money for those fucking dogs to some shit and um and uh if i i i hope that like somebody goes over there and tags some russian vehicles with rsk because we really need russia to stop killing rsk um and and if i could see that on the news i would just it would just make my day

it would just make my someone has to risk their fucking life for you to be like neat let me say this people are always asking like how do you get started on youtube how do you get you listen that it's by taking advantages uh advantage of little moments when it's it when there's the world is there to be taken and this is one of them okay um if you were over there making a video series right now um of you just documenting and uploading it to youtube with a few gopros it would be you'd be a huge youtuber in a month and and and if you went to another level like if you're ex-military and you were documenting your service defending Ukraine, you would be an enormous YouTuber. You might be a celebrity.

I don't know. Depending on what you get on footage. And the footage alone could be worth tons of money. And you'd be doing a good thing, right? Defending those people and fighting for freedom and all that good stuff. You'd have to get some good footage, though, which means you have to put yourself in some very risky situations you want to you want to get yourself a cameraman okay because you're gonna want some and send him in good call well the camera well you need two cameramen uh one to like send in first that

he goes down and then you got to go in for the hero shots you're gonna need the other guy to film that's i i like film it russian like soviet union style where I hire three cameramen, but I have one camera. And I send the first guy in, and then when he gets shot, the other guy picks up the camera. And then when he dies, the other guy picks up the camera, and then I make the first guy. First man gets the camera. Second man gets a battery. Third man gets the fucking backstrap. Here's your memory card, son.

Good luck. It's the only one we have. Please don't. He's got enough for seven shots. Dude, they're Good luck. It's the only one we have. Please don't. He's got another seven shots. Dude, they're out of fucking trucks, the Russians are. They're requisitioning all the dump trucks in Russia and sending them to the front because all their trucks have rotted tires.

So the only way to get food and weapons, ammunition, stuff like that to the front is with a dump truck they stole from a farmer. That's insane. I always pictured russia would have a glut of trucks like they did they would need oh yeah they did have a glut of trucks and now they have a bog of trucks yeah and the fun part is because like they all got everybody keeps talking about that convoy what i've heard people say and what i believe that

convoy stuck and and I don't mean, don't think like, Oh, the truck in the front broke down and now they can't go forward. Think like every fifth truck won't start now. And, and like, how do you,

now how do you turn around and navigate that? How do you get back? Because you can't go off road at all or the, or you're immediately stuck. Right. If it goes like tits up for them and they full on lose, they're just going gonna have to abandon shit loads of armor right and just hand it to ukraine losing so many tanks because like i said

it's i'm telling you if you guys go to the combat footage subreddit the ukraine conflict subreddit the ukraine video report subreddit um you'll see so much footage of various like anti-tank weapon systems being used to like knock out Armor over there and not just like tanks like the I'm starting to learn a little bit about Russian vehicles unfortunately, but but like not just main battle tanks, but Anything with wheels they'll shoot a rocket at because there's people in them. Mm-hmm, and it's it's got to be so demoralizing I watched I They refer to it as a tank battalion and i counted it looked like about 25 big tanks were like in a city square parked with russians walking around

and they start hitting it with artillery fire like like big explosions and stuff and all the russians have to run and jump in their tanks and drive away as the artillery fire continues to fall upon them and then they they announced today that like the like battalion commander was one of the tanks that got hit and he's dead now and they every other day they're mentioning like a general or something is dying and it seems like from what you said a lot of them are getting fired as well i think they fired uh like a whole uh swarm of them today or yesterday, maybe by now.

It's, it's definitely going bad. It's like, it's as funny as it is. It's scary too, because it really backs Putin into a corner. If he had like globally speaking, I think if he had just gone in and captured Kiev and,

and it was over now, like the world is, is in a safer place, maybe not longterm, maybe 70 years from now, we have some serious issues because of it. But like, the world is in a safer place. Maybe not long term, maybe 70 years from now we have some serious issues because of it, but because he's getting because he's looking like a fool

right now, and he's looking weak and foolish, he's getting backed into a corner. It'd be so scary if he used a nuclear weapon, or he did something that... Very dangerous country to back into a corner. There's some red lines in place that aren't everybody wants this no fly

zone because they're idiots like I don't think anybody hoping for World War three I don't think anybody like older than 25 wants a no fly zone dude I saw some fucking retarded like Republican representative clip today or someone asked her like should we should we have a

no fly zone Ukraine she's like yes we should and they're like so you would approve of us shooting down russian planes of course it's like what the fuck what is wrong with you you should yeah like you to to be to be dumber on this than us like yeah come on no you got you got to get out of there like if animal ass people are like we we don't want World War III. This is one stupid lady. I'm not saying there's huge slots of people. I think there are people who just like...

The neocons want it. When I grew up, we talked a lot about nuclear war and how bad it would be. Most of our scary movies had nuclear war in it. There was a lot of movies about the threat of nuclear war it was a it was maybe we haven't done that in a long time and being and like like like 20 year olds or 15 year olds or whatever don't fucking know it's the end it's over if that happens like it doesn't matter if a few of us live in pockets

i'm not saying it's going to turn out into like fallout i mean it's not going to turn to a sci-fi movie but like this little trajectory that humanity's been on where every year the iPhone gets a little bit better, that ends. And it doesn't come back for our lifetimes. It won't come back. Or yours, or your grandchildren's. What are we on?

iPhone 12 or something? You will not see an iPhone 13 if this happens, okay? And that's the least of your problems lately. I'm just trying to, we're kind of done as like right now, every, every year things get better.

Like, like, like we're kind of done with that. We're done with things getting better as, as a species for a long time. Things will get worse for a long time. And it might take us a generation or two or three for things just to even back out so that now like we're not all dying of hepatitis again

oh yeah like who knows what we'll we'll start dying of if we don't have like all of the things that we have access to right now if you just turned off the fucking diesel for a week nobody would have medicine or food yeah yeah we're we're a lot more fragile than we like to think like our whole lifestyle everything 75 of the global population dies and then we're in a nuclear winter it's just it's over it's just oh so we can't do that people have this idea that like history is a march of progress and it's like no like there are enormous setbacks there are huge problems there are times where centuries go by that pale in comparison to the advances of centuries prior

like it's it's it's it would be easy for us to lose all this comfort that we have and it's pretty scary but like things like warm having warmth in the winter would become would be a thing that from a bygone era that's the kind of like shit you're talking about with a with a full-blown thermonuclear war watch a goddamn youtube video called called what happens if everyone shoots their nukes you know i'm not watching that that's scary i'm listening you'd like freeze frames okay send it to me so i you want to call it a show? I haven't had water in two and a half hours. I don't want anybody to be super worried about Woody.

I haven't had an update from him, but I wasn't exaggerating. Jackie had a little accident on her bike. I think she's okay. I know she's okay. She's just got like a fracture or something in an arm or something like that. yeah she's

banged up but she'll be okay yeah yeah so uh hope you guys enjoyed the show um check out our cum pills uh check out matt farah fun guy enjoyed having him as a guest and check out express vpn express vpn anything else nope think we're good pka 586