Painkiller Already - PKA 597 W/ Filthy: Taylor Ruins Pool, Depp Vs Heard, Hot Thick Gas

Episode Date: May 28, 2022

pka 597 with our guest filthy robot taylor this episode of pka brought to you by express vpn and lock and load a couple of wonderful products and services we'll hear more about them later filthy thank you so much for taking the time tonight glad to be here man i love that taylor didn't bring his mic stand so he's just gonna iron hand it for the next few hours oh there that's what it's gonna have to be it's gonna have to be what's the deal with forgetting your mic stand at home i thought you didn't have one i thought you were literally saving like seven dollars by holding your mic for four hours no this is the second trip that i've like i have this second sure sm 58 sm 58 whatever it is and i have the second i have the second everything and this

is of the two times i brought it on a trip to use for remote pka i have forgotten the stand because i didn't buy a stand with this one because i still had that old ancient stand for my old sm 58 that i used to use years and years ago but uh you know it's okay worse things have happened how are you guys doing i'm sunburned i'm all good i don't know why you don't bring the whole thing i just packed the whole fucking thing up like this thing folds up and it's all skinny so you just throw that in like the corner of a suitcase and it literally takes up less space than like six pairs of socks laid out flat you know because it's it's what is it a quarter inch thick so you've got a quarter inch like bar laying in there

that weighs nothing. And I know you're preaching to the choir. I realized after bringing this set up that this is only convenient if I flew there because I don't like checking a big thing. Oh, you don't take a bag. No, no, I rarely check. I'm all about that. We drove. And so I could have thrown my whole fucking office in there.

So that was pretty stupid. I'm realizing now at this moment. But that's okay. Yeah, yeah. Think of it as like some sort of isometric workout, just right here all night. Yeah. I'm in Myrtle Beach. I'm in Wings Neck of the Woods.

Dude, go now. Go over there right now. I don't know where he is in this area. I got his address well i believe you got a microphone you should show up and interview him oh no i would never i would never fucking show up at someone's house no that'd be so shitty um no but gay hypnotize him oh no that's what it is i hadn't heard that term before. But it's a bit where I start off like I'm going to Sissy Hypno him, but

by the end he's having to push me off of his dick because I've Sissy Hypno'd. Because he holds up a mirror and I Sissy Hypno myself. That's how that works. Yeah. That forearm's strong. That is the greatest bit.

It's like Looney Tunes style. Hypnotizing works. We're creeping up on episode 600. What are we going to do? We should start this. Why would we get 20? I don't know why we would do anything like this. It's divisible by 100 and people are like cruel if we don't who are these people love

150 i don't know who these people are do they have like a fan club or something somewhere where they're like so the boys are going to do something at the 600th episode right right because i'll kill myself if they don't like where are these people no we're gonna i don't 600 will be horrible 603 will be tremendous 603 is the one yeah we're we're just going to pick random ones. We should do that. 600, let's just be as disappointing as fuck. 603, drinking episode. Episode 607, revolving door of celebrities and people. What's the occasion?

607, dumbass. Obviously. I just, yeah. I can't believe Woody got drunk and high for the show that would be a good one it was 603 filthy what is what's new in your world how's the streaming going streamers got the rock climbing going back into that yet rock climbing has not been coming back easily the gym's a little too far for it it's just not been working picking up um i'm at a month tomorrow of uh jujitsu that's awesome man how are

you liking it i'm getting my getting kicked around a lot it's quite painful i seem to be injury prone but i'm enjoying it so yeah dude i sorry to tell me tell me stories when i just first started Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu like people were coming they were joining the gym, and everybody was kicking my ass. It seemed like nobody joined after me for the next nine months. I had nine months of just getting manhandled by better athletes and more experienced practitioners. Just it was really hard. Got any injury tips? Because I can't seem to get out of there without like I'm getting all the finger stuff from holding on to geese and stuff from that getting tweaked i'm getting like uh joint pains from arm bars so like both my both my joints are killing me both my elbow joints are killing me

um and you know i get all the regular bruises the muscle bruises that kind of shit but those ones are the worst probably yeah so fingers and elbows weren't my problem one thing i would have done a little earlier so there's this balance to be struck between fighting your way out of submissions and just tapping and living to you know roll another day and i think i fought out of submissions too much especially neck stuff i feel like i spent most of my time that i did bjj unable to turn my neck and this is how i would look at people to the side like that that was just like who i was it sucks yeah but it was like second week rolling like some guy did i mean he must have been a rust or something but like we you know we did a five minute roll and like probably

i got probably submitted three times in that right and they were all next admissions and like for the next week i went home that night and i felt like i was getting a sore throat and the next week it was just like i couldn't like it was painful to talk for like that week and it was just like, I couldn't like, it was painful to talk for like that week. And it was just compression on, on basically the, you know, the Adam's apple, et cetera. It seems like that guy's being a bit of a dick.

Like, I can't tell you. See, filthy's new and you're not supposed to break your toys when they're new like that. Like, but it looks like a killer. I see him and they think,

I hear you, but this guy knows what he's doing. Yeah. They were thinking, I have to do this for my own protection. Kill him quick. He's a month in, right? Like someone who rolls should quickly be able to identify Filthy as someone who's been doing this for a month and not hurt him three times in five minutes.

Like that's too much. Now, what got me is this. So imagine that I'm in your guard, right? And in this scenario, I'm much bigger and stronger than you, much bigger and stronger than me. One way that I could deal with this is I could pull your head towards me until it hurts so much that you'll let your guard go and just deal with, you know, it's called a can opener. And I just pull your head forward and it's like this neck crank. I would not tap to that. I would fight back and, or just be flexible and be like,

you can try all you want, but fuck you. I'm not letting you go just because you're hurting me. But over time it was like, you know, maybe I should have just let go. Maybe I should have been like, I know in my heart that if I ever,

like if it was a competition or a fight, it wouldn't have worked. I don't have to make it not work every freaking time in training because i'm getting myself hurt and that philosophy might do you well be smarter than me like you guys talk about this with ufc people or not you jujitsu people where it's like like is it a real problem that these people are cunts to new people trying to get into it because like the way i've always looked at things is like you want people to be into your hobby when kyle started magic the gathering do you think i took my best world beater deck and like embarrassed him and was like see

this is what's possible if you waste as much time as i have no i went in there with a very gentle slow playing deck and let him play it out and build it up and he learned over time that's because you've only got one kyle they've got so many filthies up there and big mike's rough and tough jits studio like like they don't mind if like he doesn't show up next week they'll have a different guy to beat up on like you know what i mean there's a million filthies. Ariel, you laid out. Yeah. It is true. When I find a friend that wants to play magic with me,

I treat it like a Fabergé egg. I'm like, don't push it too hard. Just please get into it with me, please. And sometimes they will. I love the Fabergé egg reference. Perfect. Filthy, how are you liking it? So you're a month in are you finding

you're developing like a bit of a wrestler's physique like is that i think it's a bit early i'm trying to go through i love that aspect on me i'm trying to the way the instruction is 45 minutes of instruction and then it's 15 minutes of um rolling right and it's broken into three five minute matches for rolling and then uh i go three times a week. And on Fridays, they do an hour roll after that, like just an open open mat roll for that. So I'm sparring, I guess, for like an hour and 45 minutes a week right now. And then training for like learning moves and stuff for about two hours and a half. Right. Something like that.

And this is a lot to 25, I guess. And I'm still figuring it out a lot. Obviously, like this is super early days for me for for stamina stuff. I feel like stamina is already up a little bit from that. Like the first week I went, it was like I couldn't catch my breath after the hour roll. Like I just like even like a couple matches in. It's just like can't catch my breath. I'm already feeling a little bit better about that.

As to the rest of it, I don't feel like I'm learning shit. I mean, I must be. It must be slow, but it feels everyone in the gym keeps calling it like a fire hose. Like you're trying to like take a drink off a fire hose for the amount of information coming at you for that. I don't know if that's true, but I'm, cause I'm, I'm, I'm certainly feeling it physically. That's the best comparison. Those guys have those meatheads, you know, it's like trying to suck on a fire hose.

There are no references. Yeah, no, no. Like you were saying earlier, we'll will be like i feel like there's not enough knowledge to know when to tap right like not like okay if they're and if i'm in a submission share like okay as soon as i feel that arm joint going i'm like i'm at this point i'm just on the i'm erring on the side of tap immediately because already i'm like sitting here i i didn't go wednesday so i haven't gone since monday and my elbows both my elbows still are hurting from arm bars right now right and it's but's, but it's, it's the rest of it.

It's like, when do I exert effort? So as a new, as a new person new to this sport, who doesn't have the knowledge base to really compete with this, when I'm wrestling with these people, I'm essentially a, it's always just how long until I lose. And B it's a lot of, I can put effort into a thing, but I can't really put technique into a thing. I can't like sit from a situation and go, okay, I'm in this situation. Let me catch my breath for a second, I can put effort into a thing, but I can't really put technique into a thing. I can't like sit from a situation and go, okay, I'm in this situation. Let me catch my breath for a second. I know how to fight out of this. I know these things. Most of the time,

the knowledge just isn't there. Right? So it's like, where do you resist? Like at what point are you putting effort into which portions of that? And I must just be doing that in a way that's getting myself hurt. That's, that's my working theory right now with this because it's just like, I just end up every time I'm leaving there, I've got some more more some stupid small thing that like doesn't go away for like two weeks also you're in your mid-30s and you've got guys yanking on your joints for i'm in my late 30s i'm 38 i was being nice you're in the middle of them you know you're in the late 30s stuck in the middle of them yeah maybe something for anti-inflammation uh you know, some sort of supplement for that. You know,

obviously you're not going to want to get into like scary stuff, but there's tons of steroids that would make you like heal so fast and produce like mega amounts of collagen and, and, and all that stuff. But yeah, just, it's nothing to be done for that.

They're just hurting you. Maybe some curcumin. How long is the period that like in a practice run, cause I've never done jujitsu, that someone puts you in an arm bar where your arms out like in a practice run because i've never done jiu-jitsu that someone puts you in an arm bar where your arms out there in a vulnerable position what is the amount of seconds like in a practice not going full bore how long are they holding that is it like one second i imagine you would do it the way we did in wrestling in middle school where it's like

you demonstrate you have it and then it's like all right well that's the end of this because if this were to continue you're out of the you know lead two comments on that the first is i don't know enough to yet know when i'm when an arm bar is caught and i can't get out so sometimes you can resist by just you you flex your arm essentially so you never give that or at least in parts of this i'm not giving them a straight enough arm they could do that so they're working on i could feel them trying to do something with that and sometimes you can resist that way and i don't know if that is stupid it's just making this worse because i don't know enough or if sometimes it's stopping stuff so that's one of them the other one i had one the other day where i a guy didn't hear me tap right so like he was on the ground and he did

some i don't know what the fuck to call it like it basically caught my from a position where he's on his back his legs are up and caught my arm in some position and they'd arm barred me from that and i tapped and generally they're pretty good about instantly tapping but he didn't hear me so i just say it twice so i got like an extra second of that it's pretty quick right there's no one's no one's sitting there tweaking on that and i'm not going out of my way i'm certainly not i'm erring on the side of be a huge baby about it but i also don't want to just like randomly tap them in the middle of something when we're doing this that don't have a don't have that on me so i don't i don't know no be being a it's not being a baby that being someone with a a healthy sense of self-preservation self-preservation i wouldn't be there right so yeah

like you were talking about when to use effort right your effort goes into reacting quickly right don't let them set in and get the position that they're hoping for it doesn't go into reacting extremely if that? Don't let them set in and get the position that they're hoping for. It doesn't go into reacting extremely, if that makes sense. Like time is of the essence. That's very important. But the move in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is not to spaz and put a lot of effort into it. It's don't be lazy, take a breath and then do your technique. So soon in the next few weeks, you'll know how to escape from full mount. You'll have an idea on how to get out of, you know,

whatever side control or something. Do those before the guy has really solidified his position on you. That's where your effort goes into by not waiting. Don't do them super duper hard. That's not how you do it. So that's my take on that. And as far as like Taylor asked, like how long,

what they should do, like, let's say an arm bar. If people don't know, basically bend your arm backwards too far. They should have it to here and be like, do you want to tap? No.

Okay. A few degrees more. Do you want to tap now? I do own your ass a few degrees more until filthy is like all right i've had enough i agree that you own my ass like that's how it should work um if a guy is like quickly in one second putting him in a position that hurts two days later that guy's not being a good training partner yeah as i suspected that guy's a piece of shit yeah the former the former example is what you would get if you had like a private instructor the the the the second just a nice guy as well or someone who really knows what they're

doing right like if the guy's been there for i don't know eight ten months he finally found someone he can tap he's like oh yeah i got it i got it suck like he's he's loving this this is this is this is the the best times of his jujitsu career. And I guess the hope is that in nine months from now, filthy will find his own version. Yeah. Yeah. To like yank around and, and twist into balls and stuff. And, and then it'll be fun because it's hard to enjoy something when you lose over and over. And that's what jujitsu is for a very long time. I'm okay with the losing over and over,

especially when it feels like something like, I don't mind being put in a position where I'm learning from like the, the, the bottom of that position, right. For that. But what I don't like is I don't like coming out of it repeatedly injured, feeling like if I'm going to do this thing, like I want to be able to go. I like the physicality of it. I like training for it.

I like, and if it requires a shit ton of repetitions and basic knowledge to get anywhere with it, I don't want that being prevented from me going back because I got injured doing the thing beforehand, you know, cause it slows down the whole process. So I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out that out. And it could be, it could be, as you say, it could be some dick guys. I don't think so. It could be me not knowing enough to know how to prevent myself from getting hurt. And it could be some lack of knowledge on their part too. I had a, I had a friend who was talking me into this initially and he suggested, said stay away from white belts and blue belts that they are especially like he said white belts won't know any better they'll hurt you accidentally in blue belts

while i have a chip on their shoulder and want to prove something he said just stay but the problem is it's like 99 of the class so it's like yeah what am i gonna do with that so you're just waiting for the one black belt or brown belt or purple belt to walk in and i don't know the ranking but he's got but he's got CTE and he thinks he forgets who you are and he just tears you apart. He's got CTE and he thinks you broke into his car last night.

It's been fun. It's been interesting. It's something different. It's a replacement for rock climbing in a lot of ways for me because I'm not going to be able to easily get back into a gym here that is any good that's close enough to do regularly. It's a little bit little bit mental it's a lot physical it's it's a just a different athletic endeavor that i enjoy so i'll be having fun with it i actually have to make that decision because you're so you were so into rock climbing and all that for so many years like and this is maybe me like reading too much into juji mufu's videos he did with rock climbers

but he was always blown away at their like hand grip strength compared to their like overall strength level their size have you noticed that like your grip is giving you any good advantages or ability to control things or not really first of all i think it's too it's i'm too new at this to have any real good anything quite honestly in my opinion and it like when i there's a instructor there's a couple instructors there but one of the instructors have i brought up a couple times now it's now, it's like fucking wrestling what I imagine wrestling a giant constrictor snake is like. That's how it feels because I'm just like

I can feel him rotating around me in positions that I'm trying to keep stationary as he finds positions and then constricts in some way. It's going to be like an arm bar. It's going to be a neck thing. It's like when I'm in the middle of it, I feel like a fucking trapped gazelle about to be smothered to death and eaten. I i think there's a danger but i don't know exactly

why i'm in danger oh there it is yeah so i think there's going to be a some learning curve that and the second thing i keep they keep telling me like various opponents are like oh you're a big guy you're strong you have a good body or they hurt someone oh you're made for this shit kyle's identified what color the card is and taylor's like oh you look really good at this before they hurt someone. Oh, you're made for this shit. I just invented Taylor over there. Kyle's identified what color the card is, and Taylor's like, oh, you look really good at this. You seem real bright. You'll catch on in no time.

Whoa, you knew that was blue by looking at it? I got a bit of that vibe. This guy knows his colors. And the other one is totally true. The same thing happened at hockey camps I would go to. When I was a coach at 16 years old and coaching young goalies, they had players out there who were just like shooters. Their entire job was to listen to the goalie coaches like me,

and I would just say like, hey, they're going to stand here. You're going to skate like this. Pass to him. Then he's going to pass back to you and you shoot. And some of these, like the really good players who were there for a job, like a summer job, they take easy little saucer shots.

They're shooting on a seven-year-old goalie. They're trying to help them out. The players who sucked ass and never scored in real life were rifling at these children. Like they were playing in the Stanley Cup finals. And it's like, dude, Josh, you got to calm down. Like, I get you're tired of getting your shit pushed in against people our age, but you can't be rifling in that little Stevie's head.

Like, he's six. Did you watch me tie his skates? Did you watch me tie everyone's skates? Do you know how many kids showed up with just a mom, and I had to put them all together in the back? Do you know how many kids put their shit on at water and I had to undress them and put them? That was the worst part of being a goalie coach because some kid would come out with skates on and a shoulder protector and his dick out and be like, I'm ready to play hockey. No, you're not.

Let's get you back in there, buddy. Try and put things back on him. It's a lot of gear you got i never considered that like like in football like i play peewee football and it was like oh we gotta wear a bunch of stuff but after a while it's pretty simple right it's just the shoulder pads like you don't have anything else really beyond that and the helmet obviously but like in hockey you guys got a lot of shit going on huh oh especially if it's a goalie and like the and maybe i'm wrong but all the goalies who were good later in life they didn't start out as goalie they started out as forward and they got like they're skating down and then they became goalie because you look at like some of these

kids who started out at six with goalie they don't know how to the pads are physically just too large for them as human bodies they can't be bad on the knees right like is it like can't be good for it because like i've always thought that if i was parent, there's no way I'd want my kid to play catcher. That's just bad for your knees. You're going to squat for three hours a day every day. My knees do click a lot. I wouldn't want my kid to play football either at all. Really? Not at all? No. I don't know this kid's getting cracked in the head like what

if he's deep like if he's bad at it yeah get out there you'll be done like you'll play one year of this and and make some friends but if he's what if he's good at it or even worse what if he's just good enough at it to play like varsity ball but and that's it and that's but just barely good enough so that means he has taken some walloping you know he's getting some head-on head shit at 16 for the big game and it's like ah when you're 38 you probably won't remember where your keys are now like is it worth it i can i can see that kind of stuff like with being afraid for kids, but I want them to have fun. If they want to play football or hockey or something,

I'm going to let them play. Yeah, I think a lot of parents, they keep doing that poll every year. Every year, and I love it because I hate the NFL, but every year more parents are like, my child won't even play that game. No, I won't allow my kid to play that game. That has to mean that the NFL will absolutely die in like the next, in a hundred years.

I know that's like, okay. But like, I think that the NFL, the biggest sport in the United States will be dead in a hundred years because I don't think there's going to be a farm system eventually. Eventually the talent is just going to drop so much. The talent, but also the interest. You know, like I think that. They'll go hand in hand.

Yeah. If nobody plays football, then there'll be fewer people who like watching it yeah it's awful sport anyway it's fucking lame no it's great sport it might be the best one it's really entertaining to watch there's too many breaks that's the only complaint there's too many it needs to be more in that sport you know when it's really good when there's like uh when there's like a hurry up offense and uh you know like they're doing like a two-minute drill. There's two minutes to go.

They're trying to get across the field and score. And there's that hurry-up, no-huddle offense. That should be the norm. The timeout should be a lot fewer and far in between. So there should be a lot of the quarterback making decisions or hurry-up decisions. And the defense would have to do the same thing. But as it is, they're constantly switching out personnel and coming up with these big

ideas. And it's like, man, how many commercial breaks are in a fucking NFL game? I'm so sick and tired of this. And there's no way I'm going. There's no fucking way I'm going. No,

I've been to like two football games ever. And I was a kid like watching the Rams. It was boring as hell. Like the second, like as a young kid, I would like get excited blow the weasel and that's the end of it and then kurt warner's you know just walks back does a little huddle and then i just don't think it's a good spectator sport hockey's such a good spectator sport it's a great one like it's not it's very low on my list of favorite sports but like if i were gonna go to a game and watch if you got primo seats like if i could

actually get near the cage mma because now i can do that thing where you know you get close enough to a screen door it's not there anymore you could do that oh yes i imagine but any other seat that costs i don't even know if you can buy those seats in fact i know you can't buy those seats the seats down there where the where the fighters families are that are like several thousand dollars each i think those still suck in my opinion i think you're still peering through that cage that's like three that's like at this height because you're sitting you're like you're looking up you're looking up yeah if they're at the far end of the cage you're only seeing them from like the shorts up yeah it's it's bullshit there's no there's no good way to watch that except for my idea of

course that i came up with years ago where we put them down in a pit. They're in a pit. They're in a pit, and we're around them looking down. And it's like that, what's that type of seating called? Not theater seating. I mean, it sort of is. Auditorium. Like amphitheater type situation where we're above, we're a big bowl, and we're looking down at them.

And I don't know, the way it is, it's so spread out because they're doing it. Like the Coliseum. The Romans figured out. That's the way you want to watch people fight, top down. You can see more shit. I think it's because they do it in those basketball arenas and stuff that are, I don't know, they're seating so far away from the cage. It's no good. But I'll say this.

They've been doing those little events in their Apex Center, and it looks so cheap. It looks so cheap. Every time I see one of those, and it's not the pandemic anymore, so there's no excuse. What is the Apex Center? They've got their own place where they have fights. And so instead of going to T-Mobile Arena and having a big fucking thing, and the media's there, and the fans are there, and there's hype,

they're like, we're just going to go in our garage and put on a fight. It's this. And so it looks like a cheap game show. Now, don't get me wrong. This place costs tens of millions of dollars, but I don't care. It looks like a cheap game show. It does. It looks like Drew Carey should be calling the fight. Those seats don't look too bad, though.

Those seats are $10,000 each. I know, but it looks like if you're in this stadium watching this, what you have on the screen right here, it looks like you actually see the fight. Yeah, you would see the fight. And even better, you'd hear the fight. Maybe. There's a lot of people standing on that apron. I think there's four cameramen.

They'll block your view a lot. Yeah, you'll have some issues with that. But no, it's not like you can get these seats anywhere. Wait, so the cameraman is just going to be standing on, wait, what'd it an apron on the outside yes you see the octagon there's sort of a place to stand right outside it yeah yeah zach is showing us there's there's several cameramen there and they like sort of lean on they go over they go that would be such a ruining experience if i paid 10 grand for that seat i'm looking at some dude's ass and shorts

but that's always the case right if you're made for tv if you're interested in the sport itself you always are getting a better experience on the television right like if you're there for the experience of being there and like being with the people and being your friends and watching this event okay that's one thing but if you want to watch like the details of the game you're always going to get better with the good hockey seats can be good hockey seats can give you like like you get to watch it's you want to ask me. Instead of following the puck around, which is what the cameras often do, you can see like, oh, I never really noticed the guys

that slacked their way back down. They're an offense. It's five on four. Why? Well, because that 37-year-old is a lazy fuck now. You get an appreciation for speed and size that you can't get on television. I remember I had good seats at a Braves game, like maybe five rows back from home plate.

And I was like, holy shit. How tall is that guy? And they're like, he's 6'3". And I'm like, wait, he's shorter than that guy. He's like, yeah. And I'm like, well, do the math, dummy. That guy's probably 6'4". That guy's at least 6'3".

That guy's more than 6'3". Greater than or equal to. But the thing is, that was the little guy. They were huge, and they looked like athletes. We're on TV. A lot of times baseball players look like some guy off the street was like, yeah, I'll suit up. They work at a barbecue place.

And to be 100% fair, a lot of baseball players do have the bodies of a barbecue chef in a backyard, right? Pitchers in particular, you see a lot of really unathletic pitchers. Really? Bartolo Colon. First baseball. Big bellies. Yeah, Bartolo Colon, I don't know anything about baseball, but he is my all-time favorite baseball player because he's not just like fat for an

athlete he's a fat man who is a pitcher and there is one he's a pitcher and there's one image of him that's the that's the spriest thinnest i've ever seen that man in my life there's a video of him getting like his first dinger his first home run ever and like you can see him even like not believing it as he's like starting his walk and i say walk because he walked around the bases there was no no part of him even thought like i'm gonna give this a jog people are gonna be proud of me like no just quick walked the whole way what in the 90s there was a player named john cruck with a K. Zach, can you try and find him? I remember this guy being so fat. Everyone made fun of John

Kruk and his body. It hurt his salary negotiations, etc. I kind of wonder if looking through today's lens, if he's going to have a pretty normal body. He's retired. Well, that's retired. Get him in the heart of his prime

yeah because when I think of the really fat guy what if that was him on the field look at that obese embarrassingly fat guy on the Phillies I'm 40 pounds from that guy

best case scenario in the wrong direction ever see the Goonies Phillies. Dude, I'm 40 pounds from that guy, best case scenario. Like, in the wrong direction. Ever see the Goonies? They make him do the jelly shake on his belly. This is the old movie. That kid's barely fat by today's standards. Yeah. Can you pull up the Goonies

belly shake thing? They gave this guy a hard time. That's such nonsense. Back in the day, though, that's not what professional athletes look like what uh what what position did he play though john cruck i think he was first base but he's fine oh i remember i remember our first baseman in that time well maybe not that time period i don't know when that was but in the early 90s it was um oh fuck it doesn't matter he was He was a chunky white guy. And he was chunkier than that. He was chunkier than that for sure.

You don't need to be quick on your feet. Baseball players are so funny. Look at that. That kid was so funny that the whole nation mocked him back when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. In the 80s, that was the fattest child imaginable. And now that wouldn't even draw eyes at the beach. That wouldn't even feed some of our fat kids

for dinner one night i saw a kid in the ocean today that almost floated away i thought it was a piece of cauliflower bobbin out there just a pot of a pot of porpoises took him in as one of their own yeah like the the ex-athletes getting fat thing is so funny. I like, what do you remember? There was the hockey player for the Blues, Keith Kachuk, who after the lockout ended in 2003, 2004, he came back and he got the nickname Keith Kachunk because he showed up to Blues training camp 45 pounds overweight.

Like a baffling amount of weight to have gained in a year. And there's a video. Now both of his sons are in the NHL and there's a video of this fat guy. Like he has the body of someone who was, he used to be very like strong athletic, but all the fat layered on, you know how you can tell the difference between someone who's been fat their whole life and someone who was very athletic and then got fat.

And his son in a playoff game scored a hat trick and they're like matthew kachuk scores the hat trick you gotta wonder how the kachuk family's feeling let's take a look at keith and they view in on him and he's got his hat in his hand and his wife is yelling and going throw your hat he's going it's my favorite hat no and you can see her keep pushing and he's going, no, no, no, no,

no, no. And then he like held it by his stomach so nobody could take it off him. And it was just funny. Just a guy like your son scores a hat trick. So I don't even think he ever did in his career. And he's like, no,

it's my favorite hat. Fuck off. Is Matthew to Chuck, to Chuck a star? I mean, he's very good. Yeah. Bothuk a star? He's very good. Both he and Brady Tkachuk are very good, and they both grew up in St. Louis,

so both of them want to play for the Blues at some point, so that would be pretty awesome. I was on Reddit last night, and I saw this hockey gif, and my hands went to send it to you, and I was like, he's on vacation. There's no need to be mean. Because it's literally like jimmy crack corn whatever the fuck like skates the floor and scores

nathan mckinnon yeah yeah i know i saw that play too it was very impressive it was unbelievably impressive so between his legs i couldn't tell it was either jammed up or literally between his legs he he dangled the entire blues roster that guy Nathan McKinnon if you don't know him there's one player in the playoffs Connor McDavid who is better than everyone else and then McKinnon's in that tier below but still above pretty much everyone but McKinnon is a fucking superstar that was his hat trick goal to close out the series and eliminate the Blues. He scores, goes up, first of all, entering the third period for that game, three to nothing. Three to three.

Blues tie it up. Nathan McKinnon scores the hat trick, that beautiful goal you're talking about. I'm like, this shit is fucking over. He just, what a play from McKinnon there. If you don't know the Colorado Avalanche, they never make it out of the second round. They've made it out of the second round once in 22 years or something that's like their curse like the leaps can't get out of the first round and then the blues tie it up like 30 seconds later

and win in overtime and it was great so now the series is three to two it's anybody's game the blues have a three to two like deficit with the avalanche and we're missing our starting goalie we're missing our best defenseman so it's pretty exciting for for the abs to have mckinnon score a hat trick and then have it stolen from them you have to imagine that and given all their history the past four years of losing in the second round you have to imagine they're either going to be like oh no it's happening again and drop it to the blues in seven or they come out and they're like let's absolutely molest these guys so what you're saying is it's going to be extra heartbreaking if you don't make it through this round no no for the for the abs yes the blues won a cup three years ago man and we're missing binnington our best

goalie and krug our best offensive defenseman no blues fan expects us to make it out of this round we rely on our power play and our best power play guy got hurt game two of the first round because he broke something or other and our goalie got you know his knee destroyed by an unfortunate goalie will probably never be good again he'll probably not yeah but you know what is unfortunate i didn't expect you to agree i was taylor i'm taking shots at you bro no we gotta come man i'm chill but like no, Bennington, our goalie who got taken out in game three by Nazem Kadri, he was, he has the best goals against average of any goalie in the 2022 playoffs. So losing him and then Colorado failing to seal that series after a hat trick from their best player, I would imagine Nathan McKinnon fucking hates everyone on his team right now

because he's the only guy who showed up. But I also will stop talking about this tangentially tangentially related to hockey i suppose did you see that um uh letter kenny is going to do a spinoff show all about shorezy shorezy's going to get his own show and shorezy's shorezy's the hockey guy who's always saying awful things he's the hockey player that they always shoot from the back and it's the main guy doing that voice and they shoot they're shooting from the back right i didn't know that okay but for the new show they're they're just they're blacking out one of his teeth like having him grow a beard and like putting a baseball cap on him backwards

and i swear to god it's close enough to a different person that you're all right yeah it's a different show then all right and it's just him being an awful piece of shit hockey player same voice like same clippy canadian you know that's right you're fucking hoser i'm gonna beat your ass like that shit yeah chirping yeah yeah good stuff it's oh yeah chirps a couple of times there you know real nasty stuff real nasty stuff uh so i'm down to watch that letter i haven't watched the most recent season of letter ken i'll check that out i i'm i got i'm over letter kenny as a concept it it was really just kind of the same thing over and over and those uh the three core people the fat guy the funny guy and the girl i liked all of their banter i thought they had good riffs then there was that group of like like goth or

emo kids or something like that yeah they could not be less funny when they're on screen i think they were the reason i turned the show kids i didn't like the hockey kids i didn't the core group did a pretty good job but they had one joke i talk quickly and frankly how do you wrap six or seven years worth of content 10 years around i talk quickly and frankly like all right i get it like do you have anything else to say here? Nope. It was only a season or two ago where they had the Canada Gooses thing, and that cracked me the fuck up. I thought that was great,

that they were super defensive of the Canada Gooses, and they started saying, where would humanity be without the Canadia Gooses? They kept making Canadia Gooses more and more important. Where would any of us be without them those are the worst animals on earth oh fuck those fucking i will show no mercy to a goose every time i see a video of someone like giving them that little bit of hey buddy can't we be friends no i'm going immediately to violence if i ever encounter a goose of any kind a swan i don't

give a shit i'm immediately going to kill it i'm immediately going to kill it. I'm immediately going to kill it. I don't care if there's children present, old people. I don't care. Call me extreme. I routinely throw acid in geese's face. You too? That's not extreme. That's fine. Routinely. I have it in a super soaker.

I drive around shooting hydrofluoric acid at birds. That's awesome. I live a full life. That's a super soaker, would it? It would melt it. I don't know. Are you sure about that? Because remember in Breaking Bad.

It's a very specific kind of plastic that they used for beakers and stuff. Not beakers, but laboratory equipment. Gasoline alone will dissolve the kind of plastic that they use in those cheap water guns, like that kind of plastic. Because I know that because I used to fill my water guns up with gasoline and make myself a flamethrower. But you're like, all right, she's full. We've got five minutes before this thing melts in our hands,

and we're now covered in melty plastic gasoline. So let's and we have no super soaker yeah yeah yeah they immediately dissolve but i did that a lot as a kid um so i would imagine acid would do the same plus you don't fuck with acid anyway acid's so scary i had a kid like a friend of mine who like genuinely scared me when i was like 13 or so because i went over to his house and he was like talking about how cool it was to take a ton of styrofoam cups that his mom had and melted in this acetate and then like make napalm. He was very into the military. He ended up joining the Marines later in his life.

And I remember like, even like being like an immature, like 12, 13 year olds being like, there's no way we should be doing this. Like we, this is, this is scary,

man. Like I, let's just throw m80s at at birds you know we're not gonna hit them so there's no guilt it'll just pop like you'll throw it at it it'll miss and land and then pop and the bird will fly away so what was he doing he was just dissolving the styrofoam and the gas dissolving it in the acetate and then he like it was like a sludgy mixture and then he wanted to do something with it and i was like i'm you know let's just play something else and so i did not engage with whatever that ended up being i want that guy on the show like where's he at

these days he's still a very close friend of mine i could talk to him oh he died in a car accident last year 140 miles per hour yeah he was on fire when he did it. Now, one of my closest friends to this day. Shout out, Tim. How you doing, bud? Shout out, Tim. Yeah. Nothing like making a little napalm in your younger years.

Tim the psycho. Tim the lunatic. No, that shit's fun to play with. No, he's a fun guy. I was always doing stuff like that, like starting little fires. I discovered quickly that you could take primers and shoot them with a slingshot and they would explode on impact, like a big explosion.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah, yeah. And I had tons of them because primers are the thing that go in the back of a shotgun shell. It's what the primer hits or the firing pin hits and it's what initiates the bang. So it's an impact sensitive little explosion. So you could just shoot them with the slingshot at a brick wall and a big pop it was a lot of fun i know you and i and

what do you do at an extent did stuff like that filthy what was what were your go-to childhood activities were you a kid like me that just like every day after school you went into the woods and like played with friends fires we did a lot in i'm trying to think of the tens of the age group but uh we did a lot with like water balloon stuff so we had like i had a giant a three-man slingshot for water balloons so we oh yeah one person on each side yeah you had to like brace as little kids you had to full-on brace and you got one person to pull it back and it stretched like six foot back and launch them like half a block kind of deal and we would shoot them into we cracked um a friend's house like panel paneling with water balloons from the street kind of deal.

This was middle school. It was some game. You had to do assassination or something. A lot of that kind of stuff. I wanted to run around town on bikes with slingshots and water guns and stuff like that. Did you ever egg houses? I didn't do egging too much.

I didn't like indiscriminate egging. I felt like that was real shitty. Maybe you're getting people that like, maybe it's old people who can't really properly clean their home. I always thought that was real shitty. I remember I knew some guys who threw tomatoes at an old person's house and they got caught

and they made them clean it up. And I was like, yeah. Good. Even at 16, I was like, yeah, why are you fucking throwing tomatoes at old people's homes? Why don't you come with us and throw them at Dust's house that's the cool shit and yeah harass your friends not some innocent no it was someone we didn't like it was not a friend oh harass your enemies i lived across from uh 18th that guy's dead he killed himself for a little bit of time during that same time period and we we could do it behind my house we could launch a water balloon from

behind my house over the house onto the 18th hole and we'd do that occasionally which was a lot of fun how far of a distance was that was it like two of you like arms like struggling to hold it out while the other guy pulls back yeah absolutely but like actually couldn't have been mine i lived across and i don't remember where we shot it from we wouldn't have been as stupid to do it directly from the back of my house but but it was that it was that idea arc it over the house where they couldn't see you and try to hit golfers with water balloons so we like we would do stuff like that with i i know exactly the launcher you're talking about because like we had and the people we had used so at the time we were i was like 15 and we had a pool at our house at the time with a diving board and it wasn't like a super long pool or anything and we thought like

a fun game because we had been throwing water balloons at people who would jump off the diving board and we'd try and hit them before they got into the pool and pop it and they would try and jump in but not just to dive you'd have to go up and like dodge it and everything and we were like oh let's use the launcher and so we stood at the base of this pool and we had also figured out that if you only put like a third of the amount of water in the balloon it went so goddamn fast and so like we we smoked a friend of mine in the back that it looked like he got hit with like a beanbag gun from a police officer because we had me and the third biggest guy in our group as the two holders because we were the most solid and then we had the fattest member of our friend group michael do the pullback because he was we were 15 that kid was like probably 320 at the time and so he went fullback and he was not a great shot he nailed that one

guy in the back got a huge bruise we all got a laugh out of it and the next shot i think he got overconfident and he shot too low and so you know how liners and pools are if it's a liner pool it's like this kind of soft pushy thing on the side it's not like a tile pool he shot this little this little water balloon so hard it missed him the person he was shooting at entirely went under the diving board and slammed into the the liner and it made in it it split the entire liner of the pool it was such a big thing it sounded like a lightning crack and went pop and then like i was like immediately like oh no and i like ran over there and checked like an enormously expensive problem has appeared and i have to like then like amp up the courage to be like okay how am i going

to talk to my dad later? How'd you break the liner of the pool, Taylor? While we were shooting? No, I can't do it like that. We were throwing. What happens to the ground? What happens to the... Now the liner's not supposed to leak.

What happens... So the liner split. So there's still concrete behind the liner and everything. It's just the liner with the foam to make it more comfortable to walk on and push off of but yeah it split that probably a couple feet that's all the liner does make it comfortable to walk on i thought it was part of the waterproofing of the pool well that too it is part of the like it's not going to drain your pool but like if that if we would have left that just hang out and open it would have like let water back behind there and get in it but thankfully it hit at that top area and split it laterally and so we were able to like tape it and kind of get it fixed up

a little bit the water line barely well i guarantee some water gone in there my dad was uh my my water line after drained i'm sorry yeah and for my my dad did not get as mad at me as i thought i would that was one of those where i was just like, damn, made out like a bandit. Going to do this again. My dad was playing a risky game of fetch using a beer bottle with the dog. And I guess he's throwing it into the pool and the dog's like grabbing it back and like jumping in the pool. And one time he threw it too far and hit the other end of the pool. The beer bottle shatters, of course. And then I think they got most of the glass up.

of course and uh then um i think they got most of the glass up but then when they went the automatic the automatic pool cleaner thing has like glass between it and the floor of the pool so it's just ruining the whole bottom of the pool overnight like like just ruins it and so uh he just got that completely replaced they had to you know completely drain the pool tear the old liner out put the new liner in, and fill it again. I don't know how you guys fill pools, but we always call it a fire truck to come and do it in one big thing. Oh, we just did a hose and it took days. Can you do it? No, you just call them.

They'll bring you a load of water. Requisition fire truck? What? You can do that? Never heard of that in my life. There's fires all day that they need to be putting out they'll come for anything got a cat in the tree you gotta they're happy i'm gonna call the fire department be like hey guys my pool's a little low

so i'm from 50 bucks they'll be right there get out hi my firefighters i don't maybe you don't have cool ass firefighters like maybe that's a problem. But around here, they fucking show up. And I remember the first one time they did it and they dumped this... I don't know how many gallons it is. Call it 20,000 gallons of rusty water into the pool. And he's like, no! No, good! You gotta take

that back and bring me some good water. And I think they actually did. I think they took it back and brought him good water. Your family's just wasting public dollars. Water! Look, maybe water is a Sometimes I call the police department just because I'm

lonely. Do you remember 900 numbers? I know Woody does, but do you remember 900 numbers? Because you and I are on the cusp of when they stopped being a thing. I've never used one. I have. When I was a kid, somehow we came up, we found one,

and we would call it whenever we were at a pay phone or any kind of phone that wasn't ours. Just to hear, like, you've called sexy Britney's fuck line. What do you want to get into today, big boy? And we'd just laugh at that or we press one and be like all right now put your credit card in or whatever it says but yeah people today may not know especially some of our listeners there used to be these numbers i think there were 976 at first and then they ran out of like 976 numbers and it became 900 numbers and this shit

was two to three dollars a minute or even more in some cases um to like talk to someone and it could be anything um usually it was a girl who wanted to talk dirty to you she didn't want to she was getting paid to do it yeah what i mean i guess it's all women and and she would talk dirty talk dirty to you for two or three bucks a minute and they're charging your fucking phone bill the whole time and uh and it was a real fucking problem for some people like an addiction uh and uh and but there were other ones too like you could call um boring there was a nintendo line you could call if you were having a hard time you were stuck in a nintendo game you're like dude i i'm on world 8-7 and mario is just not getting over this hill they're like oh yeah, there's a secret mushroom you've got to...

There was a guy on the other end of the line who would walk you through that shit. And those guys were experts. Don't imagine that they hired anybody to do that job. These people who had this job... They went full out reputable for the 900 numbers. They were quiz. No, no, I'm not even kidding. Well, this 900 number went to Nintendo.

And these Nintendo experts were legitimate. Do you want to fuck Peach? Or maybe Mario's more your style. We don't judge here at Nintendo who you want. Did all the right lore really get you into that experience? Is the princess always in the other castle? How about Bowser's barred penis? Not at 900, cunt.

1-800-ANAL. 1-800-ANAL is probably a proctologist. 1-800-HOT-ANAL would be a thing. You need more digits. The ass man. Yeah. The ass man. I am the ass man.

No, I'm glad that's not anymore. People are going to think it's OnlyFans now. no i'm glad you remember uh like you're people you're talking about the only fans now the uh the 900 numbers like the nintendo thing made me think of like you're a little older than me i know you didn't get into like pokemon as much but you probably had a game boy and you probably had a game shark yes which and i remember like like being at the store like seven years old and if you don't know a game shark is something you would use to plug into your game boy and then you would plug the game into the game shark and it enabled a lot of

cheats and I remember like thinking that I had the game I had the game genie and the game genie went to the Sega system so I had or maybe it went to Nintendo one of the one way or the other I had the game genie and it went with one of my main systems and you could go in and it was like mods.

It was like mods from 1991 for a video game. And you could be like, yeah, I want infinite lives cause I'm fucking six and I suck at Mario. Let's go. You were probably smarter than I was like regarding that because I, I like, I really thought when I like got those books that said like this is how you do the rare candy cheat in pokemon red or a game shark and like looking

up the guides like how to do this and that in the little pamphlet i remember like thinking like thanking my lucky stars that like i got in and got a game shark before nintendo swooped in and pulled these things for ruining their games and these cheat books thank god i got one of those before they shut that down like just a little fucking six-year-old fool just not getting i want a little taste of nostalgia zach will you show us an image of a game genie because here's what i remember and i haven't seen this shit since i was six but there's an actual genie on the box i think he's got his arms crossed. He's bald, and I think his head is bowed maybe,

and it says game genie. I think it was for the Sega. Sounds very familiar. I think their whole thing was you only got three cheats because it's a genie, so you can't just enable all the cheats. You pick three. Oh, yeah.

Okay, see the red man up there? Okay, I'm pretty far off okay his arms are not crossed he's not bound he's got he is bald he is bald though you know i had that that was awesome i can't remember i can't believe that's so cool to see that shit the book and everything like like you needed the book or you couldn't do the the the cheats yeah yeah there was no way to look it up it was just like what cheats can i do well let me check the game shark manual and turn to pokemon red and that's one thing we forget that like man manuals were so valuable back then because if you lost it it's like what the fuck

are you gonna do how are you gonna get another like instructional manual for whatever this thing is there was no like just pull the pdf on your phone and they didn't come with used games like they should have or sometimes gamestop would like photocopy a manual and put a shitty version in the used game have you guys seen that it's like no manual is supposed to be cool it's supposed to be like part of the product you're getting that was my favorite part when i would rent games for like those old systems there was that little booklet that little manual that would come with it and i love reading that little bit of lore in there like like like why does this turtle need to get to the other side i need to know that's important to me and uh every now and then it wouldn't be in there and it'd be so shitty i was i remember one of those when i was real little for

mcquire too right and they had written in the they had done it in the margins for the manual like someone had like written notes and it was supposed to be the commander writing notes. As a little kid, I was young enough when I first got that game that I didn't know that it wasn't real. I thought someone had written in these notes how to get good at the game and the rest of it. It's exactly that experience because when you're a little kid, it's part of the immersion

of buying that game. It's been a while since manuals have been a thing. It's been a while since boxed games were a thing you remember when you didn't just buy everything off steam yeah yeah i remember like it took me i remember hating that idea i played pokemon red as a seven year old four times through quitting and restarting the game every time because i didn't know that you could reheal your pokemon at the pokemon center and Center. I was just losing all my money to potions and being like, this game's hard as shit! And then a friend was like, you can go

in there and heal. And I'm like, oh, revolutionize the game for me. But that's how it used to be. There wasn't an explicit direction on what to do. In the Pokemon Red, there was no way to get past a certain point unless you guessed and talked to a fisherman in Vermillion city.

And he said, would you like me to tell you a tale of how to catch Pokemon? And then you had to say yes. And he would take you on a guide to catch a Weedle. And if you never did that, the game would let you go 10 hours ahead of that with like very little fast travel available. And then if you got to the wall,

they'd be like, did you, did you talk to the fishermen? They didn't even bring it up. You had to have a friend tell you, oh, you didn't do this? You got to go talk to that fucking weirdo in the very beginning.

Versilience, whatever the first one is. Man, I want to replay Pokemon Red. What a great game. I feel like it breaks some games too. I know you're a Magic fan, Taylor. I think internet has kind of killed a large portion of that, right? Everything is a net deck if you're going to be competitive and they're going to change super fast because it's suddenly so many more eyes so many more iterations of that deck

being played so much more development of that theme of that deck to to to bring it down to the few that are competitive for each set i think sure i think it's funny because it feels like there should be almost no downside to having this become these these global phenomenons these these mass events but it does it takes away some of the limited things you could do by other people having done it and shared it first so i don't know yeah it's kind of interesting to think about for that like with magic they they're so you know and you can't blame them they're a company they're going to be money hungry but the way that they structure your ability to buy cards all being behind wild cards and not being able to just go i'd like to pay 10 cents to unlock this one like you could an mtg online which sucked

like it just all it does is make it so that everybody is so miserly with their wild cards that they go and they look at what decks are winning and they go well what am i gonna am i gonna home bake a new deck, a home brew, and waste potentially all my wild cards on a strat that doesn't work because the game doesn't let you playtest strats against bots before you unlock it? Yeah, I think I'll unlock less cards

and go the mono white life gain and get for sure wins. Which, like three years ago when I introduced Kyle to Magic, I was like, yeah, right now it's mono white life gain is huge in meta, but it always fluxes. It changes. That was two and a half years ago when I introduced Kyle the Magic, I was like, yeah, right now it's mono-white life gain is huge in meta, but it always fluxes. It changes. That was two and a half years ago. It's still mono-white life gain is way too high.

Fucking mono-white life gain is ruining the game that I love. It's terrible. I'm over it. I would be fine with blue getting a little more power. Yeah, or green. I can tell it's green just by looking at the card. As long as we keep black out, I'm good. I've been playing a mono black deck because no one's playing mono black

and it's fun. I don't like your quest for purity, but okay. I had a thought. If I could somehow infuse my dick with nicotine, could I make a woman addicted

to sucking my dick? Would she have withdrawals if she didn't suck my dick often enough and she also didn't have access to cigarettes or she doesn't know there's nicotine in the dick the dick sucking is what she's addicted to so you've gone with mind control like sex fantasy via nicotine on your penis

yes I think if you're drugging women for sex, then we've taken a real dark turn. That's the monologue. I didn't expect you to be against me on this. I was going to say that he didn't go far enough because the nicotine request... You know what happens when someone

withdraws from nicotine? They get cranky and they're short with you. You slather a bunch of heroin all over your dick. She's going to be shaken to blow you. You slather a bunch of heroin all over your dick. She's going to be shaken to blow you. She's going to be visibly with a fever and shaking. I just need your dick.

And you're like, I don't know what it could be. Let me just go to the bathroom with this paintbrush real quick. What's that container of black tar looking shit you're painting all over your penis? Shut up! Don't you want your fix? You'd have to inject.

You'd have to inject the heroin into your penis. Now you're addicted to heroin. The ultimate self play. No, no, no. Put it in your seminal fluid and it's not yours. It requires sounding. We're going right into the hole. Introducing Lock and Load V2 now with heroin.

Don't take more than recommended. So coat your dick with heroin. Get her addicted to sucking it. This is the secret to a happy marriage. You heard it here? This makes even less sense than my idea to make zombies by infecting the homeless with rabies. I don't see how that doesn't make sense.

Exactly. Yeah. Oh. Okay, then fair enough. Yeah. Okay. Checkmate there. I really think that that's the way to do it.

And I think that, well, I'm hopeful that it happens. I think that that would be, that solves the boredom situation that I've got going on. And it solves the homeless situation the rest of you people have going on. Well, the homeless problem is all of ours. Anyone can be attacked by the homeless. That'll bother me a bit. They tried to sell me some some bottles of water the other day without labels on them at an intersection and i was like who's buying these

sketchy ass plastic bottles of water they're not even cold and like who's buying i mean i didn't want a hot hot bottle of water from a homeless guy with no label jesus christ don't this isn't that called can't cause cancer or something like when they leave those bottle bottles of water in the in the sun all day i think that does something to the plastic and it seeps into the water it makes it taste like plastic i'll tell you that yeah yeah i remember um like i think on some military board i was on like like they uh someone said something like i read how like leaving plastic water bottles in the sun causes some chemical to leach in and that's carcinogenic and then he was like thinking back to his time in iraq where they had these pallets of bottles of water just sitting

in the sun for for weeks and weeks at a time like yeah everyone in iraq where they burnt all the shit too like they had all the burn pits fires yeah that's just gotta be so fucking bad so bad for so many people oh so much of it is. Yeah, you get the idea. I mean, obviously it's a fucking war to some degree, so there's going to be other priorities, but it does seem like there are some corners cut with some of the decision-making there.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure they don't burn all those noxious materials in burn pits anymore. I like that warthog that everybody freaks out about. I'm pretty sure that's one of the weapon systems that shoots those depleted uranium rounds. And they're just like radiating the ground below at RPMs. That's an awesome piece of machinery.

That's so fun to watch. It doesn't seem like many of these machines have a real cost-benefit analysis built into them. We're firing spent uranium bullets? It's real cheap. I watched a thing um something about the depleted uranium was cheap um i i thought the same thing i was like oh those that those must be precious bullets like in a video game i'd keep those until we saw the big guy

you know like but but i i was watching something um they were talking about how they they irradiate areas but then then they got to the cost of them and it was like, oh, alright, light them up. Don't shoot them over here. We'll be fine. Just keep shooting them in those desert countries. They didn't seem that expensive though. Surprises me.

I still think there's generally something to be said for the fact that we spend a lot on the military. Do we? Yes. More than the next 10 countries combined i also wonder how much of that you would think that would mean that if we took on the next 10 countries we'd win i don't think that's what it really means i do i think it means that every soldier leaves claiming some level of disability and gets paid for the rest of their life i think that uh you know, I don't know,

medical benefits and other fringe benefits. All that's true, but we're still outspending everyone by enormous, enormous leaps and bounds of monies more. Like, just enormously more. I mean, you see, like, Russia's supposed to be one of the more impressive militaries in the world and they're really looking like a paper tiger over there they're looking foolish they are looking foolish that's the best word to put um and uh

and i don't know like you've seen we we've been able to see the united states conduct its version of warfare for the last 20 years or so it's mostly w's and there's not a lot of embarrassing moments there's those times it's like oh no we lost a battle and all of our guys died it's like yeah but we went back and killed them all yeah yeah i want to say america rarely loses battles we sometimes lose wars right that's a political decision yeah yeah um but if you just have a battlefield you want to own, America's good at that. We're real good at that. I really do think that we are better than, I don't know, maybe not the next 10 countries, but I don't know, pick 10 European countries. Just conquer all of those, I feel like.

I think just the amount of material and manpower. What it really seems to come down is who's motivated, though, right? Like, if you were to sick America's army on France, they'd be like, no, what are we doing? And the French would be like, what are you doing? But, like, if you had a real enemy to fight, like, America, right? It's what

we are good at. We've got a lot of embarrassments here. We've failed a lot of things. But we're good at that. And breaking shit right it's always a good fighter and he's great at punching people i feel like they're the same thing no i'm saying winning a war is like occupying a territory that's tricky okay breaking your shit oh we're outstanding at that if you want to ruin a city call us we might be the best at occupying territory too.

Like if you look at our bases around the world and look at what we did to Japan, I feel like that's a great like example. Like, like was it MacArthur that was the, uh, like leader of Japan, like during that whole, like restructuring period for a couple of years, like one of those, we just gave Japan to a,.S. general or admiral or whatever for years. And I want to say the word was like, you need to figure out what you want to do with the emperor, sir. Like arrest him and execute him or let him do his thing. But that's a you decision. And that all worked out somehow.

I mean, they're kind of weird now. They're not the same they're altered by the whole the whole process i don't think the japanese would be nearly as weird with the tentacle porn and if they had been so cucked by the uncle sam uncle sam turned them into hentai loving femboys like our boy who's over there in the military is always talking about how like him as like i don't know a taller than five foot six white guy who's good looking and has muscles and tattoos is like fuck i don't know don juan over there because most of the japanese men he says are like not really into the dating scene and and obviously he is so he's just like i don't know doing real

well over there apparently they don't allow mike they don't allow my kind over there. No felons in Japan. They're very serious about that. It's a weird thing about this generation. Let's get you in. Come on. Smuggle me. The lack of interest in this leading scene.

Could you smuggle me into Japan? Smuggle you in. You're not wearing anything noticeable other than those really really horrible like 1930s asian eye sunglasses it's the only thing you're wearing i'm returning to my homeland is that gonna be my bit i got the glasses you got fake buck teeth in my home ran who would uh voluntarily walk around like this i don't believe would let me in. I want to do some traveling soon.

I need to. Where to? Oh, I don't know. It would be cool to go to another, maybe to Europe somewhere. Seems like a fun time, you know? He's still based in Colorado right now. Where would be your first stop? I'm in Georgia right now.

I'm moving. I don't want to say exactly when, but by the end of the month, I think I'm gone. Should be't want to say exactly when, but by the end of the month, I think I'm gone. Should be gone from here to another place. I've been here in this home for like three years, and I didn't intend to be here more than six months. It was initially like, I need a place to lock down right now that's affordable enough that I can keep paying it, even if I'm in prison for the next two years. Because I was like, I don't know if I'm going to get zero time or three years.

That's kind of what was in my head. And I didn't know. So I just kind of got this place and that was the idea at the time. But I went out. I went out of here. So that's happening very soon. I need to start packing.

Oh, okay. It's easy to procrastinate packing. So that's happening very soon. Good. I need to start packing. Oh, all right. So it's really, really procrastinate packing. It sucks. It's unpleasant. I've never hired movers before, but I'm definitely hiring movers this time.

That's got to say, like, it didn't sound like anything you would do. Why, why would you do your packing? Sounds like exactly. Oh, well,

I definitely am going to do the packing. I don't want anybody going through my stuff. They, there's no way those people don't steal. There's no way you can send Packers into a house and be like yeah put it all in boxes and send them to the packing stuff you really give a shit about the word book it's stolen first and then have them pack the rest my stuff's mixed together like you could open a box and find money like like like literally like literally like i was in a box the other day and found like 400 cash mixed it with some ufc

gear and and a book about weed with kittens. You just have a Skyrim dungeon and you just find loot? Yeah, a mixed loot box. He just said, I think, if I understand this correctly, is the last time you unpacked, you were so lazy about it that you couldn't hire a packer

this time because there's too much shit mixed in there that you care about and you never made it to find it. That's just how I store my gear. all my stuff is mixed together when you open a pile in piles yeah like you open any box and there's no telling what's in there they're not categorized um like if you open the drawer you're gonna find fucking sex toys and condoms but you're also gonna find like an id from eight years ago and like maybe some like some sort of tactical harness so that you can repel like there's gonna be horrible weed so dry and crispy no i went through and got all those crispy little bits out but but like there were crispy bits around for a long time

that i that i kept having to go into like the back corners of drawers and be like if somebody sees those crispy bits there'll be trouble and be like, if somebody sees those crispy bits, they'll be trouble. And I'm like picking these little crispy bits out. Like trying to get every little speck of marijuana out. Because even after multiple raids, they

leave marijuana crumbs laying around. And it's like, you guys, last time they were here, they literally went into the back of a drawer and got all the crumbs. They did that. They charged me you guys last time they were here they literally like like went into the back of a drawer and got all the crumbs they did that they charged me with crumbs last time i i think maybe on my paperwork it says i had bastards 15 grams or maybe 16 grams it was literally measured out what i had it was 14 grams it says it to the decimal point anything above that is crumbs they found and i know they were crumbs because i'd have

smoked them if they were anything but crumbs already the whole reason i was getting weed that day is because i was out of weed i had no more that's the worst right like like i i thought i was about to like go get stoned as fuck and have a good day and instead we like start the arrest process it's a real like you know the road forked right there and it was like man i thought this was gonna be a pretty chill day i was gonna make nachos life was simple at nine this morning morning oh man that was so wild i love that that like that day's like like every little bit of that day i remember you know there's days that you just completely forget because like nothing happened that day like like all right you know you did the same shit same shit different day that's a day i remember real well like that whole day you know there were a lot of like um um memorable moments that that were

they just kept coming one after another um at a certain point now that was fun i remember um my favorite part was being in the drunk tank though with that moron and thinking like look at this moron he got caught stealing a shovel or something from his neighbor's shed and then going like, you're in the same cell! Right. They don't differentiate here. Yeah. Drunk shovel guy got a don't do that again and an ass pat out of there probably.

He probably did, yeah. Yeah. My neighbor came by yesterday. I had my garage door open and he could see all my stuff because I put together a pretty good collection of gym stuff recently. He came over and he's like,

you got a whole gym in here. I was like, almost. I'm buying this, that, and the other. Oh, shit. Don't lose your train of thought here. What was the thing? The full gym. He said, you got a full gym here. Shovel pat on your ass. Oh, no.

I ended up telling him about the whole marijuana thing. And he was like, I got caught. And this is a black guy. I got caught with half an ounce a year ago. They gave me a ticket and took my weed. That was the worst part. They took my weed. I'm going to guess he didn't have a YouTube presence. I was like, they took my weed that was the worst part they took my weed and i'm gonna guess he didn't have a youtube presence i was like i was like they took my weed

too it was not the worst part it took my weed two months of my life oh please if it's been two months it would have been no sweat if if the wheels of justice moved a little bit fucking faster, if they could have been like, ah, we got you. All right, so here's what we're going to do. We can drag this on for three or four years, or how about you spend two months over here in this place? All right, sign me up. Let's go.

Let's just go and get this over with. I remember when I asked the investigator, and he was like, oh, these things, kyle i got one right now it's been dragging on for four years and i remember thinking like no way my shit gets drug on for four years i'm gonna push the wheels along if i have to yeah about four years something like that no way i'm getting caught up for two years of probating. Yeah, it's crazy. And then Delta 8 being legal and so fucking powerful in the wake of all that is such a silly thing, too.

It's so strong. I have to be careful with that stuff they sent us. You told me Delta 8 was less strong now. Different kinds. Different kinds. They got like THDO and all sorts of different things now is it the different kinds or the um inconsistencies with the packaging and the real like honor so so i think that um one of the things that that when vaping in general first started out

and people would be like oh people are getting popcorn lung and they're getting lead and it's like you only get poisoned by these things if you buy the most shitty imported chinese stuff everybody in america who's into this is kind of like they don't it's kind of like that myth of the candy with the razor blades in it yeah like dude nobody's putting razor blades in your kids candy and nobody's poisoning your vape juice either and and so like i think that the quality has been consistent across the board it's just that i've started using um more potent stuff uh and and also like the different variants i'll call them of hemp or whatever the fuck because thco just hits so much stronger than Delta 8, and HHC does as well. I tried some of that last night.

I didn't realize when I was buying it that it was HHC, and who knows if it was. But I went to this bootleg little South Carolina store. This has two prices on it. And it just says Starburst. Guarantee they didn't get licensing from Starburst. No way. They don't. Starburst, guarantee they didn't get licensing from Starburst. No way.

They don't. And there's a sticker that says THCO. A sticker with a QR code. On the back, it just says THC. That'll affect your phone if you scan that. Don't do that. So I'm not fucking scanning this shit. I'm not doing anything with this shit.

Those pictures didn't work. Oh, yeah. Well, I haven't tried this kind yet. This is unopened for later. But the HHC kind, it was called One Up, and it was a bootleg picture of Mario with an eye patch on. And it was like a little mushroom on there. And it was like four peach O's, peach rings.

Just four of them. Didn't say how many milligrams were in the package. Didn't tell me how much. It just said One Up and then a picture of mario unlicensed and i ate the first one and then went to dinner my wife was like you feeling it and i'm like halfway through i'm like yeah i'm feeling pretty good feeling pretty pretty ripped and i realized they were going to be strong and good so i went back to the room we weren't doing anything rest of the night took all the rest of them and just got silly i thought you and your

wife were gonna split them i don't know why i thought that no she she has her own gummies she likes the really weak ones so she'll take nibbles off of those but i was just like i'm on vacation i'm about to you know finish up the blues game it doesn't look like we're gonna win this one let's get blasted high so at the very least when the blues lose i'll be like i'm so high i just want to read my fantasy book not be upset about this and so and so i did do that i sat in the bed and while my wife slept i read my fantasy book for hours watch the blues win it was a great evening i think asian taylor sounds a little like hank hill i'm so high i want to read my fantasy book i want to read my fantasy novel i've been listening to so much of that fucking Hank Hill rap that Taylor turned me on to.

This shit is so funny. Hank Trill. It's Hank Trill. And he's a legitimately good rapper with crazy hard lyrics. And it's like, dude, some of this shit is the harder than the hardest of gangster rap. He's like, last... He said something like, the last than the hardest of gangster rap he's like one of the he's like last he said something like the last guy that fucked with me i tortured him for three days and shot him in the face have you heard that lyric like there's a lot of them that's just in there

and i was like god damn for three days what did he do it's funny because like the guy he does the voice really well yeah and so it'll go seamlessly from like a bar about like i love propane it's funny because like the guy he does the voice really well yeah and so it'll go seamlessly from like a bar about like i love propane it's the best way to cook your meat and then the next bar will be like i'm gonna rape you and your entire family and it's like oh my god like you're the propane guy but now you're talking about murdering uh he's talking about his his his like minions and how he sticks them on people, how he has Dale. Dale Drizzle is a very funny character. He does Dale's voice even better than he does Hank's.

Dale's a tough voice. I can only even kind of do him if I'm yelling. That's the only way I can get Hank. Your boy's playing with Joseph. He's not playing with Joseph. Your son's trying to do something good with him like that he's like chopper make you dance hopscotch i'm listening to this and i'm like that's that's actually really good it's really funny it makes me laugh every time i would pay money to see uh the animated

music videos like done by like mike judge's team like the legitimate ones. Oh, I sent this to you guys. I know Woody saw it, but it's that thing from the Johnny Depp trial where he had texted one of his friends for proof against her, and he wrote this paragraph to his friend where he's talking... Johnny Depp wrote this paragraph yes and the and the lawyer reads it out verbatim in court and it's so mean and filthy and hilarious i got i'm gonna find it i'm gonna i gotta do it's great yeah like is he totally vindicated now in there uh this i

think that this little thing i saw is part of a larger thing that makes johnny depp look pretty imperfect but he's so charismatic and he owns it do you want to play this let's play it oh i'd love to play it let's let's roll the dice and hope that we can actually watch this fucking thing it's pretty short you said you have a link for for zach oh i'm sorry i i will get a link i i was gonna i was looking for a link for the text i was gonna read it but uh oh that that'd be good too that would be even better than that let's all close our eyes and imagine it yeah the best johnny deaf impression here probably taylor i don't know in his voice what does he sound like? I only know he was very soft-spoken. He's very softly in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Damn, I always thought I liked Johnny Depp. I guess I don't know a lot of what movies he's in. I liked him in Pirates of the Caribbean when I was in high school and those were coming out. Okay, I've got it. And I believe, again, this is Johnny Depp texting his friend because I think he needs some text messages from him to help him during this whole debacle. She's begging for total global humiliation.

She's going to get it. I'm going to need your text about San Francisco, brother. I'm even sorry to ask, but she sucked Mollusk's crooked dick and he gave her some shitty lawyers. I have no mercy, no fear, and not an ounce of emotion or what I once thought was love for this gold digging, low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless, dangling, overused, flappy fish market. I'm so fucking happy she wants to go to fight this out. She will hit the wall hard, and I cannot wait to have this waste of a cum guzzler out of my life.

I met a fucking sublime little Russian here, which made me realize the time I blew on that 50 cent stripper. I wouldn't touch her with a goddamn glove. I can only hope that karma kicks in and takes the gift of breath from her. Sorry, man, but now I will stop at nothing. Let's see if Mollusk has a pair. Come see me face to face. I'll show him things he's never seen before.

Like the other side of his dick when I slice it off. Do you have the end the end that's it oh the end is mr depp is is that accurate and he goes yeah that's pretty much right sometimes johnny depp does shit like he congratulates them for reading well like did you call him a crooked cum guzzler? And he's like, yes, that was well read. It kills me. Lisa, he's a charismatic, likable guy. And that paragraph makes me like him so much more. Because that's funny. I thought he was going to be damning, but that actually wasn't that bad at all. It was clear he was very pissed off at this woman.

But like, all in all. He's sprinkling jokes into it. He's not curious. She's sitting there. The camera's on her while this is being read. Like calling her a flappy fish market or whatever. No, I don't know a lot about Johnny Depp's personal life because I think he's always

kept that very private. He seems like a real private, soft-spoken kind of dude. It seems like what he's really into is getting real high with his buddies who are like his age group fucking women and uh and like music and and you know art and stuff like every time they they um i've learned more about it from this thing because obviously they're calling character witnesses right people who are like forced now to testify what's johnny depp like and the one

that really stuck with me was that artist who like was selling art on eBay for like $100, $200 a painting. And Johnny Depp was like, I don't want to buy any of your art. I want to put you in an art studio so that you can create art. And I'm going to put you in the studio and I want you to start creating art. And I'm going to start putting together an art show for you with all of my rich friends. And when you've got enough art to do a full show living in my art studio, like being supported by me, then we will take that art and you will sell that art to all my rich friends and you will keep all the money. How does that sound? And they were like, did you take the deal? And he's like, yeah, yeah. He's like, you don't understand. The building, this is like Art Deco, right? This is like, this guy starts describing how pimped out this place Johnny Depp has put him in. He's like, you don't understand. I don't know.

Every time I see him dressed up in the fucking pirates thing with those sick kids and stuff. And sometimes you see that when someone has like gotten in trouble but johnny's never been in trouble like this is the first time we've ever heard anything any sort of nonsense like this they they brought up that kate moss thing and his lawyer was like yes she brought it up now we get to address it because like even that kate moss thing is i I think that Amber Heard was suggesting that maybe Johnny had pushed a model named Kate Moss down some stairs at one point years back, but her bringing that up, like open that up to like cross examination or something.

However, the silly rules of court work, it's been really fun. I saw the TMZ guy clap back at Amber Heard's lawyer. She was, because she was saying like like so this is kind of like you're 15 minutes of fame huh like being here today and he's like um no i i'm i'm here of my own accord one i i could say the same about you taking amber heard as a client and she's like that's argumentative he's like no i just think and he like kept his cool so well and she did she was like i think that's argumentative. He's like, no, I just think. And he kept his cool so well. And she was like, I think that's argumentative.

And he goes, no, I think it's logical. And it was just like, oh, get the TMZ guy on the defense team. Oh, was that guy on the pro team? He was from TMZ. And I think he was being interviewed about maybe some of the, I don't know exactly what. I just saw the ending clip. But they've called so many fucking witnesses in this thing and it's been hours and hours of testimony i don't watch it i i watch like how did this become public not not the why are the cameras there

televised yeah do we know my guess is that many many circumstances like this could be televised but nobody cares enough so they don't i see so it's basically it's not illegal to do so so most of these cases don't have enough because i mean the written house stuff was televised too right but you don't see this a lot otherwise you don't see it might have been on the state as well like i really don't know the answer but it has to be one of those things right it has to either depend on the state or um or like maybe it's something that could happen like because oj simpson was televised right like yeah um it's the good ones that are televised to be fair right like um it is good tv i can still remember being a little kid at my grandmother's and she watched

the oj simpson trial religiously uh my mom wasn't into it we didn't watch it at home but when i was with my grandmother it was like it's on it's on let's watch i remember watching hours and hours of that oj simpson trial and like there was an there was this sort of like everyone knew he was guilty and and in my in my six-year-old circle or whatever i was at the time so like like to me it was just like oh they're that that bad man killed that lady and and they're gonna they're gonna get to the bottom of this and then they got to the end and like i think that was the first time in my life that i saw that like bad guys win sometimes and like and and we all reacted the same because i'm like looking up at like grown-ups and they're all just like but but the dna and and

and the blood and i'm i don't know what dna means but but i'm just like yeah it kind of seemed like that bad man killed her i thought too yeah i was working in a cubicle environment at the time and uh someone turned on like a transistor radio and this is a call center everybody stopped working everyone stopped working and listened to the verdict get announced and we were shocked that he got off it was uh i'll never forget the experience the call centers don't go silent they're just jibber jabber it's like a cafeteria almost until the oj verdict was announced and um yeah i guess he had an excuse for everything i can't believe the glove thing like it was like

um kabuchi theater i think that's what it's called it he has a latex glove on this would be like a like a nurse would wear who knows what a latex glove is and then he's gonna put his designer gloves on top of the latex glove and he's trying to make it look like it doesn't fit well it doesn't because he has a latex glove under it it It also doesn't because he's holding his hand big and wide and stuff. You bend your palm a little. Watch how much bigger my hand gets when I just flex. Yeah. Yeah.

He did what you do to make your hand not stick in a glove. He made his hand a little bit. While wearing a latex glove under it. I'm not the only one that sees this, he's pretending his glove doesn't fit. At the time that was happening, I'm sure everyone was like, but he's wearing a glove. Like, what the fuck? Like, you wouldn't know because there's no social media,

but I'm sure like the inner communication of people. There's no way to look at that other than a huge failure on the part of the LADA. If that's who did it. I don't know if it was LA. It may have been that little community they were in, whatever it's called. You have to put the blame squarely on Marsha Clark and that other prosecutor. It was their case to win or lose, and they lost it. Yeah, they had all the evidence.

Everything was lined up for them to do it. And I'm told that typically the prosecutor is better than the defense attorney. That's the normal state of affairs. The prosecutor is just like a higher level of attorney. I don't know. There's fewer of those jobs, I think. I'm not sure. But this was the rare inverse of that, where the defense attorneys were just much better than the prosecutor. Oh, yeah.

Well, you get that where you've got really rich defendants as well obviously you know it's like johnny cochran was the was the man for that uh for that and it wasn't just johnny he had a whole team of people you know there's a whole team of those motherfuckers what a hero you guys have you guys seen the uh jesus uh the uh the one with uh cuba gooding jr the the mini series radio no about oj oh not really no i haven't seen that no radio is hysterical um it is okay so i highly highly recommend the oj simpson mini series i think they did it on fx and you've got david schwimmer which is ross from friends as um kardashian and you've got uh um cuba gooding jr plays oj and um marsha the lady that plays marsha clark she's also in a lot of the american horror story stuff

she looks a lot like marsha clark and does a phenomenal job uh even the guy that got played to play ito looks like judge ito and i think it's six or seven episodes it's excellent it's so good like i'm i'm surprised you guys haven't seen it it's oj simpson what's it called like i thought it was called the people versus oj oh i've scrolled past that on netflix i think it's really really fucking good like if you watch the first episode you'll be hooked i mean you know how it ends right but still like learning how they got there is uh. O.J. Simpson, American Crime Story. That's the one with Cuba.

Okay. Didn't Cuba Gooding Jr. recently get some sexual assault stuff? Kevin Spacey did. Did Cuba Gooding Jr. also? Yeah, I think they got Cuba. I think he got Me Too'd. By who? Or him also'd, however you want to put it.

Him also'd. What did Kevin Spacey get? I've read that he got in trouble today. Does anyone know? I think that maybe some of the older charges are just coming back around. Legal stuff is so confusing. It seems like they get to take two or three whacks at people

sometimes on one thing. Seems like everyone who accused Kevin Spacey is dying. Have you seen that? That tells me that lies Sometimes on one thing. Yeah. Seems like everyone who accused Kevin Spacey is dying. Well, have you seen that? You know what? That tells me that lying is bad for your health. That is one. That is a way to look at it.

Or it could be that Kaiser. So say is taking people out to keep the identity under wraps. The alleged incidents took place in London between March 2005 and August 2006, with one in Western England in 2013. Why did they just say between 5 and 13? Okay. So all the victims were in their 30s and 40s.

Yep. Stuff we don't care about. Plus, we don't do it. It's people. He literally flirted with a guy my age and that's what the charges are about. Dude, if Cuba Green Jr.

sexually harassed you, Kyle, I would be on your side. Sexual assault is not the same as flirting. Kevin Spacey couldn't sexually assault a grown man if he wanted to. But he did and that shows what commitment can get you. There's no way that man can sexually assault anybody. Like, I just, what did he do?

He penetrated them forcibly? No way. There's no way Kevin Spacey can penetrate me forcibly. He's not a good enough wrestler. Do you not remember? I don't believe he would penetrate you forcibly. Do you remember that psychopathic video he released? Like, right after one of his

accusers died and he pretended to be Frank Underwood and he's like, you need to be careful not to be throwing words around that are spellless and dangerous to those who otherwise might, I would say, take action against you. Now, I'm just a simple man. I'm not entirely sure what kind of

threats, that kind of thing is what he did and everyone was like, oh wow. What if he had his henchman from the show? Remember the guy with the bald head? head the guy that guy what if that actor had been there with him like cracking his knuckles like no no but the actor the actor only starts cracking his knuckles he stands up from below the oh and then he starts oh not the one his mouth and then cracks his knuckles see that was the secret service agent that he was banging i'm talking about his uh his right hand man yeah i love doug doug was a cool ass character i i very cool character that was yeah he was good he was like heroin addict alcoholic he was something uh he had that problem with women and i think that he was trying to stay away from alcohol because like

he was like one drink was going to send him into like crazy mode off the rails you ever known anyone who's actually like that who like is such a an alcoholic or an addict that like if they get a drop then that's going to lead to a drink and a drink is a bottle and a bottle's a case and now they're going to have to get in the car like drunk on a case of beer yeah drive to get more. If anybody gets in their way, it's going to go crazy. Do those people exist? I don't know anyone like that.

When I used to go off-roading, people would drink a case by the campfire. Over the course of a day? No, that night. After dinner, they would have a case of beer. Like 12? 24. That's 24 beers huh yeah that's damn that's a huge amount of liquid i haven't done a lot of like hanging out with people who who are alcoholics but um uh yeah i try to stay away from but um especially people who drink like that because they get violent around campfires but um that's it seems like an enormous amount of beer to me that's a lot to get their case on

your own that seems exhausting to get through like the amount of pissing you'd be doing would be uncomfortable it's not it's not that it's not the pissing it's actually the it's the air you get bloated from it like from like that carbonation was it not a case is that an impossible number that's how i remember no no no it's no it's Is that an impossible number? No, it's an alcoholic type number for an evening by the lake. They weren't drinking on the lake throughout the day. They were at night

like, I'm going to crack open my 24 pack and get to work. There were beers during the day too. When they off-roaded, they'd bounce. No, the guy who drinks a case at night abstains in the day too. When they off-roaded, they'd bounce. No, the guy who took the case at night abstains in the day. I don't know. He's like,

never a drink. A drop never goes past these lips before 5 p.m. Now give me a taste of Milwaukee. All right. It was a dumb question. I'm sorry. I ate one of those, one of those gummy bears right before the show.

So you got about 27 minutes before that kicks in by the way dude speaking of alcohol i tried something like new here these like high noon you know how i switched to the spin drift i love high noons yeah i so spin drift seltzer unlike lacroix it's like the sparkling water but it's got like lemon juice in it not just like the essence of like what you could believe to be lemon flavor. So it tastes like lemon juice and water, like sparkling. Very good. High Noon is the same thing. So like White Claw tastes kind of like not great, but High Noon is just the same thing, but it's vodka with like spin drift in it.

So like lemon water plus vodka instead of like, what is it called? Malt liquor for seltzers right filthy and so like malt liquor doesn't make you feel as good and this other stuff is but it's not as alcoholic it's basically like a bud light but i've been drinking those by the beach it's been great those are awesome i thought you were more of a liquor guy than a light bitch boy drink like i don't discriminate when it comes to this like i have my favorites but like i don't know restricted to one anything to get the shakes to go away all right gotta wake up and do something and sometimes it's a high noon so yeah no i like because they're they're good for the low carb stuff

too so like i i like beers and i'm happy to do liquor and i'm happy to do wine but like high noon's a nice like afternoon kind of like by the pool kind of drink so for sure very light yeah that by far is the biggest advantage that weed has over um alcohol is the calories yeah for sure well not the only advantage well but you you can eat yourself into a hole i do that a lot um it doesn't really make me hungry like if i get like um occasionally it will but like most of the time not like um i i'm not really at all i ate so much crab the other night that i was sitting by the beach with my wife the next day it's a windy day on the beach and like i was i was gassy and i like farted and it was was the kind that comes out hot. You can tell that there's substance to it. There's a thickness in the air.

And she turned to me. She was downwind a little bit. And she was like, is that the sea? That's you, isn't it? That's you. And I was like, yeah. She'll be like, no, there's a beached whale just down the way. I farted in the room that morning because I had eaten a few pounds, a reasonable amount of crab.

A reasonable amount of crab. And she took off the blankets when I woke up, and it just released. And she was like, oh, my God, it's thick. It's thick in the air. It's got staying power. I'm so sorry. I didn't have a notebook to write down things to talk about on the show, and so I tore out pages at the end of the Book of Mormon.

They're empty. Those were for taking notes about what you'd learned well i did overestimate how many notes i'd be taking because i've got three more sheets of mormon pages i know what's coming i was gonna do it for the bible but i was like let's play it safe let's play it safe yeah let's not fuck with the one that's more likely to be real you presume to know yeah if one of the mormonism or if it's between two the bible or mormonism it's the bible that that's true it's not between those two but if you're using those as your only two picks as what is provided one is clearly derivative of the other yeah the mormon story was literally just a criminal riding through life by the seat of his pants. He's a

scam artist. And his name was Jesus Christ. The Lord Almighty and Jesus Christ. I caught a little bit of interesting... I like the lore and stuff from those nerdy YouTube videos about various sci-fi and fantasy

shows. And they translated what the alien is telling them in um covenant at the end uh in this alternate scene and i guess their their whole bit was if you remember they had like seeded life on earth there's that scene where like the big white muscled up guy melts himself into the waterfall and like seeds earth with the genetic material to like form life and then um but but he tells him he's like you guys are awful like like we we sent we came and picked one of you up 2 000 years ago and we taught him all sorts of like wonderful things and we sent him back to you and you killed him and it's like oh they're claiming

jesus that's pretty cool like they literally like claim jesus as like and it made so much sense and like i like stuff like that where they were they were they claim jesus as like and it made so much sense and like i like stuff like that where they were they were they sort of weave theology and and real stuff in with their sci-fi bullshit so that made me like that that movie a lot more because i didn't like it as much previously like the fact that they kind of i don't know sewed everything together with the creation story yeah the bible's got fun lore to it but jesus didn't come back with really cool knowledge he wasn't like guys here's how you make a nine volt battery well they didn't need that here's how you

prime the gasoline let me teach you about the steam engine right you didn't have no yet when i dream of going back in time with all the answers it's never morality the technology of the time i don't know fuck you that seems of the time? I don't know. Fuck you. That seems to be the answer. I don't know. But if you keep going down this line of thought, you're going to hell. Yeah. No, it was.

I mean, but Jesus had other cool powers. Yeah. I liked to imagine like multiplying the fishes and the loaves. I liked to think about like how could the lord have been used in battle like he could have multiplied soldiers remember when they blew the horns though and then like the walls of jericho fell like like maybe yes that was way before jesus but why weren't there more powers like that is what i'm saying like i like i like when they there's displays of power in the bible like Like when they sent those angels to go burn Sodom and Gomorrah.

That was tight. That was good. That was a classic tale. I like that one. If you wanted to win a war, inflicting a plague might be a good idea. Yeah. God wants immediate results. He wants to get shit done right now.

No. God notoriously is a showman. That's why he made 10 of those fucking plagues he could have done aids right away guess what aids and then the pharaoh would be like oh my god this got real like just everybody get the hell out of here i got the flu and i think it's gonna stay forever like yeah he but he fucked around with frogs and gnats i can't believe turn the water to blood and then quickly turned it back stick by your guns god did everyone see it turning to blood or is it just a story oh i did while you were important the important party so

main characters saw it but like you know some shepherd plot armor. You know who didn't have plot armor? Jesus. Until the end. He came back! He literally came back like Jon Snow. He had the ultimate plot armor. He came back and had dinner with his homies and then floated into the sky.

And I'll tell you what, that timeline has always been so goddamn fuzzy forgive me lord that that i can't believe a word of it because it's like wait wait he rose and then like in the movie that i was shown as a child an actual movie with actors like live action not animated tales no no no like i like i never watched that that's too much for me i don't need to see torture that like get the fuck out of here um but but in the little movie we were shown maybe it was called the bible or jesus probably something simple like that but like he he like wheels that stone to the side and he comes out of there and he's all he's

now he's getting now he's jesus the white he's in his white robes and um and he uh he goes and like meets with his like um his boys and they have dinner. They break the bread and drink the wine. And then an indeterminate amount of time passes. I don't know. Was it a day? Was it a week? Was he up and walking around for years afterwards? They don't really say.

I can't tell. But then he went to some hill and floated up into the sky, right? Wait, at the Last Supper? Or when he popped in to say hi to Mary Magdalene and everything? After he came back from the dead and he went and had dinner with his friends after death and they were touching his hands and examining his wounds and all that

stuff. I've been on the podcast, but did you guys take a religious term that I'm not aware of? We all found the Lord. We all found the Lord. Or should I say he found us pal's a hardcore evangelical i don't have a case in here in the house but i can probably like rustle together enough of some other ones and make it work if that's where we're going tonight just we we all religion's great to talk about it's so interesting we should have all started

up our own uh little little little like calling like well you don't call it that um years ago uh you know did you see where um that's the entity they call it there was that everyone wears sunglasses there was that preacher who was uh who was like on reddit they were they were they're pointing out this guy was telling people how to vote he's like if you a, if you go vote Democrat, you get out. Get out. You're going to be voting Democrat in the House of the Lord. You get out. And so this guy on Reddit literally saw this and was like, oh, okay,

and reported him to the IRS. And he's got it all edited together so you see the whole process. He's like, so I reported him to the IRS, and this happened. And then it goes back to the pastor on a different sermon he's like we done decided to give up our tax exempt status because the united states government's not gonna tell me how to run my church it's like wait yeah they are because you know you're gonna pay taxes to him now that's great you literally just did the opposite of that because you couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut they reported him to the irs the irs yanked his taxes in status because he was like having doing political things political stuff from the pulpit yeah really political stuff he was like yeah no one in this church votes democrat

none you're all baby killers if any of you vote democrat get out of this building. Like, it wasn't like a subtle sort of, you know, we believe in freedom kind of. To be fair, though, if your true belief system is that any abortion is the murder of a baby, then you could kind of like understand where he's coming from, right? Like, that's not what most of us believe. I mean, I know. Like, if that's something I totally get, if they that is their belief, that every abortion is a murder, that's not my belief. But if that is their belief, I totally understand why they're up in arms and think it's the most evil thing ever. Yeah, I don't think every abortion is a murder.

Every abortion is a murder, but I'm okay with a little murder. That's where I stand. I'm okay with abortion. Every abortion is a robbery from the taxpayers in the future. What if we found out that Elon Musk's were lobbying

for this because they wanted a bigger workforce? First, I'd be shocked there's more than one. It's like, oh, you think that it's only one man can produce so many bad jokes? Is Elon Musk... Is the internet turning on Elon Musk?

Of course they are. I like him when he's funny. I don't have any invested interest in him. We'll see how much they turn on him once he's eliminated all the bots, though. We'll see how much of the internet turning on him was even real people i thought that was that deal is not happening anymore yeah i don't know i don't know i know that his tesla stock is really tanked um but that's but that's just like make-believe monies anyway this is a problem he went to buy twitter twitter put in this poison pill that made it even

more expensive elon musk is like don't give a fuck i'll pay it i'll pay a higher price so he came up with a price that people who didn't want to sell to him had to agree to sell to him otherwise they're not working on behalf of their shareholders in this public all right then tesla tanks well he's buying it with Tesla tank. I'm sorry, Tesla stock. So now it's caught like not only did the price of Twitter jump up, but the price of Tesla dove down and it's costing him way more than he thought he was going to spend. So what's he doing now? I haven't got a lot of people think he's going to get out of it. Like Twitter did a like sort of review on how many of the users

were bots and they're like 10% or 5% of these people are bots. Musk is like, fuck it. That doesn't sound right to me. Deal's off unless you can prove that's really true. Show me how you came up with that number. Wait, they said 10% of users on the site

are bots? Was it 5 that they said it was five was the number i heard um if it's five it could just as easily be 10 like that's an insanely high number of bots for it could be more it could be 25 i want to know not the percent of users but the percent of followers too are important the percent of likes the percent of interactions you know seeing like oh this this viral tweet 90 of those bots like that'd be a really interesting thing to see yeah but in particular like i like i have a twitter account i barely use it right i post to it a couple times a year and it's whatever a bot so what i'm saying is i don't represent

very much of the platform at all sure in that i don't create content but a bot creates a ton of content perhaps i wonder how many of these replies are from bots. Like that might be 5% of the users, but like half of the traffic. Yeah. Half of the content. That's a great point as well. Yeah.

Wouldn't that be a mind fuck if like it came out through this, that like, yeah, 30 plus percent of the people you've been interacting with on Twitter are entirely made up. They're either purchased bots by corporations or twitter themselves or other you know entities like that would be enough that like yeah it would it would be like a real reveal of what's that problem called with like the human intelligence versus the uh artificial intelligence thing

um the uncanny not the uncanny valley but that like if that were true it'd be like all right everybody everyone has to admit aside from a couple people who we thought were loony saying that 30 of the people on here were bots like if it fooled all of us like if that came out i was 1 billion percent fooled by the 30 of people with bots that were liking and commenting on my posts. Turing test. I found it. The Turing test. Yeah, the Turing test is when, if I can interact with you. You thought they were real, you're saying?

Yeah, like I don't think, I've never had, I mean, there have been some comments I've gotten that I'm like, that's clearly a bot. They're trying to link me to something nefarious. Obviously, that's a bot. But like, if it turned out that like when I've been tweeting stuff about hockey and I'm like, this game is great.

Fucking Tara Vinen is playing incredible. And then if there was a guy who I recognized, Sam Stevenson, who would always reply with like, yeah, Tara Vinen's stats are great. The Blues are doing well this year as well. If it turned out someone like that was fake, I'd be scared, probably. Like, oh my God. None of us are smart enough to see through this anymore. Yeah.

I'm one of the audience. You know what the Turing test is. Imagine two people chatting to each other back and forth, just typing. If one can't tell if the other is a computer or not, it's passed to the Turing test. If it can fool another person into believing that they can talk to a person and a platform like Twitter makes it a little easier,

doesn't it? Sure. To type back and forth and answer questions and stuff it's not that it's all text it's the nature of the communication if you said hey bot prove to me you're real by typing back the fourth word in this sentence then like a boss not programmed to get that right so you're gonna beat it but twitter's not like that the twitter's just i render an opinion on you based on a few keywords in your post it's way easier to touring test pass it then yeah have you seen these bot farms where like the one kid has like 30 40 iphones in front of them all hooked into chargers i have seen operating them those

like warehouses in china where it's like one chinese person working 100 phones and another chinese person working 100 it's an example i think i don't know much about this stuff but i would imagine that it's an example of it's cheaper to pay a chinese guy to sit in a room with a bunch of cell phones than it is to write some magical ai program who can handle all this on its own like what are you what are you gonna write oh you need ai to do it i I've got Ping. Well, do you think that guy can speak perfect English? Ping loves Donald Trump. Or he hates Donald Trump,

depending on which phone he's on. Ping runs on noodles and fear. It's perfect. Yeah. Well, we'll see what happens with Twitter. I don't really care what happens with it. it seems like one of the least valuable social media sites i think it might be nice if like everybody came

back if trump started tweeting bangers again that'd be hilarious i don't think it's the place you get news like yeah definitely not it's just a way to like promulgate the stuff you make on other i guess i meant like the informal news yeah no what i was saying is like if you want to know breaking news from a war site a riot uh a flood or something great you can probably find it on twitter maybe instagram breaking opinions yeah you can get a lot of breaking videos sometimes you know yeah i was really thinking of the video. That's what we look for, I think. Because I can't really trust what anyone says. I need to see the video.

You know what I'm looking forward to finding out? I hope we do. These Texas police that let the kids get shot for, what, 45 minutes in the school? Is it true? I mean, I've seen the video of them holding parents back. Could you film me in on what was... So, as you know, there was a school shooting, an elementary school shooting two days ago, I think.

And I don't know how many people died, but it was a lot. The number keeps going up. It was like high teens, I think. It's like 19 children. I think they were younger than that. 19? Goodness, crazy. Okay. Phil, you're making jokes.

So anyway. Oh, oh. it's filthy making jokes so um anyway uh oh oh so now videos come out of the police not going in they put yellow caution tape around the building they stopped the parents from coming in they secured the site and seemingly 19 kids two teachers not enough. It's worse than that. They seemingly gave the shooter all the time and space he needs. This is during the shooting. Yeah. So this is an active shooter. They just sort of wrapped the school in caution tape and told everyone to stay away. Just gave him 40 minutes to kill people.

It's worse than that. All that's accurate, and it's worse than that. When he showed up, there were two officers there, and they ran away from him. They ran away from him and called for help, and then he went inside and killed everyone. Two officers ran away from the safety of the officer. He wasn't in a firefight with those officers. were in a firefight and they ran away he won the firefight somehow they escaped with minor injuries which when cops say that it means nothing means they were scared it means nothing when a cop says minor they hurt their feelings because because when it's time because when it's time to get insurance benefits or write something up for somebody to get a fucking medal if he'd scraped his knee they just fucking said oh contusions to the leg and and bleeding injuries his his uniform

was ripped from his body. Dude, you blew the knee out in your jeans. Like, that's what it would be. You tripped over the ground. But instead, it's like two officers received minor injuries. I want to see if he actually had body armor on, too, because that's one of the things the cops said. I want to know what kind of gun he had

and what he looked like to make two cops run away and let him go in there with all those children and murder. Now, I did hear this, Kyle. I don't know how I heard this one little bit, but apparently that plate holder he had, nothing was in there. I know there was nothing in the plate holder.

The left keeps making this point. The day he turned 18, the shooter, he bought two AR 15s and they're like, he used two guns for the shooting. I don't know. I haven't even heard what he used for the shooting. I only know that he owns two ar-15s and they're like he used two guns for the shooting i don't know i haven't even heard what he used for the shooting and we know that he owns two ar-15s so what it sounds like to me like like the way that they're kind of talking around what kind of gun he used because what they

keep saying is like he used a handgun and he may have had used a rifle like you don't know well he owned two did he use them is that how he and the point isn't i don't give a shit what kind of gun was used from a political standpoint i still want to know how he made these cops run away in fear these these good old boy texas fucking sheriff's deputies or whatever the fuck that were cowardly enough to hide outside and then like the worst part is and i can't even watch it it's when they're like holding a parent on the ground who's trying to get inside to save his children and it's like why you're lucky the parents didn't shoot you pigs it's fucking disgusting what the fuck it's no answers have come out surrounding this and i really want to see like how they eventually killed

killed the shooter because i wouldn't be it sounds like they're so fucking cowardly that maybe he walked outside finally was out of ammo and then they shot him when they were sure he couldn't pose any threat i wouldn't be surprised if that's the case which good job kill him but i'm just saying like they hid the whole time and that's the first lesson that law enforcement and the world in general learned about school shootings after columbine is that you don't wait outside. That's what they did at Columbine. The police waited outside because there was no known protocol. You didn't know what to do because you never imagined that the people inside were there to exterminate.

You thought this was a hostage taker and that they would have demands. And that's traditionally how law enforcement handled any scenario like that. Somebody's in a bank. Well, no, we're not going to storm in. We're going to see what they want. Yeah. But in this scenario, they want to kill children. And they waited outside and let them all die.

That's definitely what happened. And they're still investigating, seeing if the officers were told to stand down or something? Those guys ran. Those guys ran. Those guys were scared. It was terrible. But it wouldn't just be those two guys no all the cops there were if there was enough time for them to wrap the school and tape it wasn't just two guys who ran away and then came back and taped it it would have been the entire policy yeah and uh by the way there was some policemen who had parents inside and they were allowed to go in and retrieve their kids.

But all the normal non-cop parents, they can't go back there. I forgot that little bit. Yeah. That's ridiculous. The only cops who went in, saved their own children, and then ran away with them. Those cops should all be in prison for the rest of their lives. They should be getting rounded up and humiliated on TV right now.

Their pictures with the word coward should be underneath it. The president should be calling them cowards. They should be publicly shamed until they can't have employment anymore. You want to cancel somebody? These are the guys. Who's the head

PD person? Their chief. What's that person been saying? Are they. Who's like the head PD person, like their chief? What's that person been saying? Are they coming out like, I can't believe the cowardice of people not going in? Or like, well, we used the information we had at the time, and the information said to let someone shoot in the building for 45 minutes. No. Kyle, do you remember where you heard that about the police officers getting their kids out but no one else? I've read that in two or three different sources. I think I saw that on a CNN article article there's everyone about that hadn't heard that

piece of information it's kind of disturbing that's i've been trying not to even look at it because it's so fucking sad i knew they were going to show those little children's faces that was fucked like cute little kids with his little hair parted it's like they're all you know this is like picture day pictures it's always cute little fucking kids and and then i saw the text message from the the shooter and he was like having an argument with his grandmother over his cell phone she turned his cell phone off and then the next he's like he's like he's like she turned she's on the phone with atmt about my phone and then the next text message is i just shot my grandmother in the head

who's texting like a buddy i guess i don't know and uh and then he's like and then the text message right after that is i'm gonna go shoot up an elementary school now and then like the reply comes hours later and it's like i just saw the news and it's like fuck fuck. Who was that person? Have they uncovered anything else about this guy's motives or anything? I saw his grandfather, or at least that's what it looks like, interviewed, and he doesn't know shit. Nobody seems to know anything. What it seems like is he was just a depressed, sad kid who hadn't been to school in a year, didn't graduate,

and was in his room most of the time. He'd go work with his grandfather, but they wouldn't really have any substantive conversation. He was just kind of there. The grandfather's a felon, too, so he can't have guns, and he didn't know about the guns. It's weird to me. I'd like to know how he bought the guns.

If we're going to talk about that, then I guess it is relevant. Like, alright, so how did he get them? Did he go to a gun store? do you buy them from a private individual because they never make that distinction uh if he had ar-15s like like did he get everything legally you said once he turned 18 or is that what's being said that's what i'm reading and it's an argument the left is using like hey if you think gun laws and restrictions aren't going to do anything why'd this guy wait until his 18th birthday to buy his guns and he got these legalese but now i don't even know what he used i just know what he bought on his 18th birthday

yeah out of it yeah um and i don't i don't know where he bought them i you know like people always bring up gun control but i've never heard any gun control ideas that would actually work and would be feasibly put into practice that aren't already out there. Like keeping them locked if you have children should be mandatory, I think. But how do you enforce that? Are we going to go into every gun owner's home and make sure he's got his guns locked up properly? How are you going to know who all the gun owners are? We'll need to make a list. Are we going to round people up if they don't apply for the list?

We gave you six months to get on the list. you're not on the list and you own a firearm well now you're guilty of a crime are we going to do that because you're going to have to do that if you want to enforce that law and a lot of people aren't going to like that most of the accurately i would do it like auditing like the only way that it'll work in your house we've got we've got laws already that they don't really enforce no for example there's an accident in the house with kids in it the police come they check to see the security of the guns if they're not in a safe locked up well now you got a second problem to add to the list and that's how they do it like people know like man if something was wrong cop comes in here because my wife called me for being too drunk and abusive and now i got two problems because the cop noticed my glass gun case or like yeah i do like the idea

of getting people's uh self self um motivation involved in that right get people looking after their own interest you could probably get that through if you if you did something like that because most gun owners want their guns to be stored if they've got kids but if you don't have kids you don't like if you don't have kids in your home like the idea of locking your gun behind like two or three switches and levers is absurd um it's insanity to you because the whole purpose was you needed this tool at a moment's notice to defend your life like that's the scenario that that a lot of gun owners have guns for so like you're not going to convince them to stick in a bunch of locks and drawers and safes and vaults and special drawers and none of that's lot of gun owners have guns for. So you're not going to convince them to stick it in a bunch of locks and drawers

and safes and vaults and special drawers. Most of that stuff's nonsense anyway. Those special drawers and stuff. You know? Like that Jason Bourne shit. How do you guys ever use the guns? I don't trust any kind of a lock that requires a fingerprint.

Like, what if I don't have my fucking finger and I need the gun like again we're talking about the thing that we need if you're sweaty in their lives like like there's a reason cops don't have fingerprint activated i thought you were saying secret drawers were bullshit and it's like i don't know oh but i think yours are cool have you seen those secret drawers where the guy like leans on the headboard of his bed and a shotgun rolls down yeah and then you're just firing blind through the sleep in your eyes just no it's got a flashlight on it don't worry oh good you have

a new girlfriend over you keep getting fucking the shotgun 90 to you no i have five cans of bear spray hidden in every room in my house i mean yeah but uh but what i'm saying is like it like i don't know that there are laws that stop someone who's determined to do a thing you know that all they do is end up what's your response to the argument about uh this is only happening here in the u.s not anywhere oh that's because because we got so many guns that's why it's happening here because we have so many guns so there's no going back there's no way to unring that bell but you just think you can't you think there's no possible way we could do anything for this then why try no no i i think that the guns

are already there and then and you're not going to take the salt out of the ocean or the guns out of this country but you still gotta try right but we we agree that this this state of affairs i agree we should try i agree we should try something. Sure. Yeah, that's good, right? If part of the problem goes something like there's too many guns out there, Taylor, if part of the problem goes if there's too many guns out there and there's no real way to get rid of them and only law-abiding citizens are going to turn them in, so what? Over time, these guns go somewhere. Some of these guns will be in law-abiding citizens' hands.

We get rid of them. That's not a bad idea. citizens hands we get rid of them that's that's not a bad it seems like as a net between the law abiding citizen and the non-law abiding citizen that if you have a buyback program the law abiding will abide by it very quickly and are we stopping with law abiding citizens having weapons did any like for example here we have two police officers supposedly on hand there who are not only law abiding citizens but state led state um mandated employees who are carrying weapons here and it still didn't stop this shit right like how do you how do you stop a random rising up from a populace of a person armed with a weapon going to attack unarmed civilians in a random location if your police officers aren't willing

to step up and do their job then then there's nothing that can prevent that. But you just can't. There's no way you can have the manpower to cover everything. You can't cover gyms, libraries, parks. We did. In this instance, we did. In this particular instance, we had the manpower there assigned to protect the place, and it failed. And to me, that's the problem.

Because, sure, we've got it here. And maybe in this case, perhaps it will turn out that these officers acted poorly. It's what happened in the last one, too. Which one was the last one? That awful thing in Buffalo where there was a security guard there, too, and it just didn't matter. In that instance, he was killed in the line of duty.

But in this instance, these guys fucking ran. I think we can't let that get lost on us but the bigger problem of like why there are mass shootings in the united states there are mass shootings in the united states because there are mass amounts of weapons in the united states it's because we have so many guns i don't think there's just something about americans that makes us want to shoot i think you get you get some just small percentage of people who are disturbed enough that this is the thing they think is going to do something or this is what they want to do well we give a ton of attention

to it as well attention encourages the people yep for sure i shouldn't know what that looks like yep yep but i don't think i don't think any of this gets stopped until you have some ability to restrict people from getting these weapons because how can you like what is the mechanic you can't we'll just buy it off the black market if they want to do something so like currently everything i mean i if i want to go to the fucking gym if i want to work out i find it harder to go to the gym than to walk out my front door because each little bit of barrier of entry makes me less likely to carry through with do you apply that to the war on drugs i play that uh probably what would it say yeah do you think that theoretically the war on drugs could work if you

just made it so impossibly difficult to get heroin and marijuana that we could succeed. I think I think there's a bit of a difference here and we can we can drill down into it if you like. But if we're trying to prevent this activity for this, yes, these things are not going to stop all cases of it. And yes, we we are not going to get the diehard individual who plans for years to obtain a firearm to shoot up something. You're not going to stop that person. But these are this is some stupid fucking kid who bought a weapon presumably it sounds like legally whether or not he used this particular weapon does it matter which weapon he used to shoot these yeah it absolutely does it's very important it it matters to me how i mean most people are killed by hand guns because like the discussion is like what can we do what more can we do to prevent this

and it's like well hang on what were we already doing did he get around current systems did he beat them how did he do that like if he bought this gun from a gun store i don't know what age you have to be to buy an ar-15 i think it varies in places i know i think for a handgun he would need to be 21 and i think he had a handgun so like my understanding that the reason i'm leaning that way is they haven't i haven't seen them go full-blown like like he used this ar-15 like they did with the last shooting and i saw the video of the last shooting and it was gruesome and and he without knowledge of that we can we can do one of two things right we can either agree to to use one

of them as a scenario and talk about this scenario or we can game out both scenarios right we don't know what he used right so we don't know if he got it legal or illegally and in this case particular i think we can talk about it without knowing that right uh i i suppose so but but i i i think when we're talking about things that could or couldn't prevent mass shootings like what would prevent this one like let's take it one at a time like what could have prevented this one in particular i think that if there had been people who took the reports of him torturing animals and videos on the online and collecting firearms last year if that had been taken a little bit more seriously maybe something could have been done when you hear about people upload videos of themselves torturing animals and that doesn't like get somebody to

investigate like that's a failing of its own like if that's not something we take we're paying attention to now forget mass shootings let's just get all the animal torturers while we're at it but the damage my case is up i don't i forget i think it was the previous one the buffalo one yeah where this guy had been reported he had been investigated they looked into him and they didn't like keep him locked up forever now in hindsight it seems obvious that they should have right they should have but in reality how do you determine the people who are going to shoot up a place a grocery store or school and the people you just think might you can't prosecute you can't lock up everyone who you think might i mean it seems

like the fbi is fucking bad at figuring this out because really what the the pulse nightclub shooter they came out after that one if i recall and we're like oh yeah this guy he's been on our radar for a while oh no we didn't do anything we just knew that he was posting violent things and that he was violent towards his wife and that he did all this you lock up people but this shit is a percentage game right this is the same thing that happens when we have a failing of national intelligence and some big thing goes down right how many are they stopping what percentage are they not and what happens if you reduce the base number the percent that go through may or may not be as high or low as we'd like but you start you start restricting people's abilities to do this less of these things go

through if you know if you have some you know you could go all right this kid's killing animals or whatever or has been reported and he got checked out and who knows if that failed or not. The kid alone in his fucking room with a knife doesn't kill 21 people. The kid with a nuclear weapon kills a lot more than 21 people. What is your prescription? I'm wondering what your goal is. What's your prescription? What's the fix?

How do we take the gun away from the kid? Well, you'd like me to solve gun control spot i'll answer that to a point of it i'll respond to your point but like i don't think this i don't think the idea of just ignoring it like you're saying okay this is there's a lot of guns out there i agree with that i'm telling there's a lot of guns out there it will be hard to get it will be hard to get rid of all those guns it's impossible to get rid of them sure i may even i mean for the sake of this argument i will buy for the sake of this conversation i'll buy that that starting point.

It's impossible to get rid of all of them. It doesn't, that doesn't reduce the benefit of making a reduction in these weapons. I'll give you another number like on top of the fact that it's impossible to shrink the number of firearms in the country. It's impossible to slow the growth of the number of firearms in the country. There are more guns today than there were yesterday and that has been true

forever. There's never been a time where it's like, hey, we don't have as many guns today in the United States as we did yesterday. That is not. That is impossible to fix. It's politically harder, but it's a much easier fix. Make what illegal? Guns.

Because they don't want a civil war that'll be a civil war yeah that would be if you if you want to go over there to to the the whole bill of rights and start taking chunks out now you're going to have a civil war if when you're going to go into alabama with your like federal peacekeeping force and uh and go home to home. Come out. We know you've got a shotgun. And grandma comes out, and they gun grandma down. And that's all over the interweb. And the people in Louisiana say, they're not going to kill my grandma. And there's not just one grandma getting gunned down on one doorstep. There are hundreds of them all over the country. And it's not just in the South. There's plenty of people up in vermont that what's their

what are they the live free or die uh live free die new hampshire yeah their grannies are getting gunned down on anti-taxation message all of a sudden all of a sudden we realized maybe we should have left all those armed citizens who were just following the bill of rights alone there will be a civil fucking war with grannies dead and and politicians what are we okay with what do we want do we want to go okay we're going to ignore this and allow this problem to continue as it is are we okay with this number of children dying i i don't have any kids i've got no vested interest in this i'm against obviously people's kids being killed for this but i'm not honest i'm not sitting here going like i have a strong stance on gun but it seems pretty simple on guns rather but it seems pretty

pretty obvious to me that if a percentage of people are going to do these attacks and the bigger and more powerful the weapon they have, the more damage they're going to do, then limiting the access to weapons they have is going to limit the damage they can do. Now you say, okay, well, we can't get rid of guns. We can certainly restrict that. And the analogy I was trying to make is for something as simple as something as interesting as I am in fitness, the likelihood of me going to work out reduces when i have the simple step of going to the fucking gym as opposed to walking out my door and get on a bike or running right if that simple step is something as effective enough for me that

it reduces my workout by a percentage making them jump some extra hoops to get their weapons is going to reduce that by a percentage too is it going to fix it no is it going to be the only cure no but it's going to reduce that by some degree. I think that you would see very little reduction in the outliers which is what we're talking about. Those people would hang on, what those people would hear is you can't have this.

A lot of those weird personalities are going to hear well I didn't want one until you told me I couldn't have one. Maybe I will shoot up your authoritarian ass. I don't think you can You're not going to stop the fanatics kyle i agree and when you start trying to ban a particular kind of weapon you'll find that you've just jumped in to it'd be like if like a politician tried to jump into one of our favorite video games to balance it not knowing anything about video games like it would be like if if one if mitch mcconnell

wanted to come over to civilization 5 and the lek mod and be like i love the culture we and that's what we're gonna do nothing balancing out all of the cultures and he's doing it from from his limited knowledge of of that world and its rules and all the multifaceted things i'll take i'll take an l on that and say that i don't know a lot about this culture. It's so hard. I couldn't do it. But I was going to say, that's the other part I was going to go with this, but none of us are experts in gun law and the implications of each of these different policies. We're all shitting out of our asses here.

I'm not an expert in anything, bro. So, exactly. Well, it may or may not be true, but we're all talking out of our asses here for this. So, I guess kind of engage with that core concept for me a little bit. And Kyle, why do you think the reduction in the power of what these people have accessible to define that because you have to define that now and a politician would be the one to define it well but this is this is this is like almost changing the scope of the conversation are we

talking the idea are we talking the specific input of what that is line by line of that? So I can't give you line by line. Okay, if you had a magic wand that could make guns less powerful, then obviously now less damage will be done by guns. Maybe we'll have to go to bombs then. But what I'm saying is that it's not a feasible thing to do. The guy in New York that shot all those black people, he had one of those AR-15s who had been heavily modified to meet state compliancy in New York. He called it a cucked AR-15.

And it was, but you can easily modify that if you have a brain into one that's not so. And you can even go- Having a brain is a limiting factor, right? Like right there you just reduce the pool of people who can do that filthy's made a point that like every hoop you have to jump through makes this some amount better will it be hard to measure impossible yeah perhaps but it's just true you know i never tried marijuana until i went to colorado you know i just didn't want to i don't know how to find an illegal drug dealer in North Carolina. And you weren't motivated to do it either.

It is inherently true. The more barriers you have up, that's why I was curious about the drug question because a lot of the people who present this in the context of guns will be like, oh, the black market solved nothing. There's no way to solve drugs. They have to be legal. So I like your consistency on that, Filthy. What I don't

like to do is have like hypotheticals about like not meaning to find a half of a conversation but but if we're getting to the core of the argument it's like nobody wants children to get shot that was fucking awful it's it's really been bugging it was literally just that one guy everyone else doesn't like what that one guy did yeah i i wonder if he what he thought while he was doing it like how fucked was he that he could even do something like that you know there's a small hole in that argument right which goes we all might agree that we don't want the outcome but if some people are not willing to take steps to reduce that outcome then what is it what do

you actually take from that well you go there's a yes they don't want that but there's a bigger thing that they do want so and again like i don, I don't have a vested interest in this argument personally, like one way or the other on gun rights. I don't own a gun. I don't particularly care one way or the other on that. But I think- Memorial Day sale, they're cheap right now. I thought about it a couple of years ago. I almost did end up with one.

But let me know. I got some tips. Yeah, we had that conversation. But again, the point being that- Exploding ammo. If we do nothing about this and or rather allow the state affairs to happen as it is, then we're basically saying,

okay, we're accepting this degree or perhaps even a rising degree, as you said, more guns are being pumped out than ever before, a rising degree of these types of shootings. And it's currently not only restricted to shootings, these weren't the school shootings, these get a lot of media attention for this,

but any of these places could potentially happen. We've seen the nightclub shootings. There's nothing that prevents us being a park or a library or any other gathering of people. We had the concert shooting, right? Like these things are going to happen while there's people who are not people with these ideas and personalities and problems who have access to these weapons. And that seems the inevitable outcome of making them so readily available.

So I would, my solution, honestly, like, look, if I had a child in an elementary school, my solution needs to save my child. I don't want to start lobbying for dollars and putting an infrastructure together and start looking at Supreme Court justices because that's what what anybody wants to yank guns away that's their plan their plan is 30 40 50 years from now maybe we can chip away if that's your goal to like legislate against guns good luck good luck okay you might as well legislate against oil get right on that one too it's not gonna fucking win you're not gonna win it's it's not the ford hybrid uh hybrid vehicle ads no i haven't actually services no yeah before before we jump to the

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Also, I do not have the bottle of cum pills with me because I forgot them at home. So Woody is the savior here showing it. Your loads will be flaccid. Yes. You're going to come back with some weak ass loads, Taylor. You're going to be a regular person. I'm just going to be petering out weak, watery, crab-scented loads until I can get back home

and get briny loads. That's what it'll be. Briny loads. I'd be so embarrassed if I had regular amounts of cum. I've been having brackish loads all week because I forgot my cum pills at home. And that's more evidence than anything.

I've even been having brackish loads. They call it brackish loads. Have you been dealing with sea dick and brackish loads? We make up diseases. He's been dealing with

sea penis. Look at his load dribbling out like brackish water with the river mixing with the ocean. A shameful load from a shameful sailor. And we've gone so far from the plot, I don't remember

how long I've been here. These non-perilous listeners don't know. They don't get it. They don't know what they need. Mother of Christ. Buy it. Probably link in the description over on the site. don't know they don't get it they don't know what they need my rocket load uh buy it um probably uh link in the description over on the site uh don't don't when is memorial day when's memorial day uh it is this monday right so like i was uh i've been on facebook marketplace a lot looking at gym equipment um i found this guy who's got this whole tit rig with like the pulley arms and like, like 400 pounds of weights and like a good bar for like $1,200.

But it's too far from me. And I was considering driving. It's up in Tennessee. It's like five hours drive for me. And I was considering driving because it's like a ridiculous deal. I even messaged him. I was like, are you telling me that everything in that photograph is $1,200? And he's like, there's actually more stuff, which scared me a was like i was like he's gonna kill yeah it's me with a knife

oh there's like there's actually a rape room just to the right where i'll be restrained now that i've been baited in to buy the titan pretty fucking far from okay so so i started thinking all this shit and uh i i was like well let me check out this guy's Facebook profile. Let me see who I'm going to be doing business with. Mine is like nonsense, by the way. I don't have a real Facebook. And so I look at his shit, and it's nothing but like he is posting shit that would come right off of one of those things that's like the right can't meme. It's all the most far right wing shit about like like like gun

control and trump and everything you've ever seen i'm just like all right i can do business with this guy there's no way i'm going this guy's a fucking nut job it was like really crazy like way further right than i even like you're not gonna roll the dice for 1200 of gym equipment being like five grand of value dude i don't care if the guy has a plan hood on i'll swing by and see what the equipment looks like he's got like the arms that kick off from it with the pulleys and so he's got the whole like it turns the titan rack into uh almost a uh functional trainer he's yeah you're gonna buy a bunch of equipment from what's seemingly a very powerful racist. He's a level 10 racist.

I get there and he's literally a level 10 fucking racist. He's like, yeah, those weights got too light for me. I'm selling all these because all my dumbbells are black. You didn't want to paint them? Actually, no. Don't bring that up. Give me the deal. You guys seen the new Ricky Gervais special related to this conversation?

I thought it was really good. Just came out. It's got no public backlash because he dared to make jokes as a comedian. What? What's he getting heat for? Transphobia. Let's see some other ones with this he was too funny well he said he's he specifically made

the comments that he was doing his best to offend all people as much as he possibly could including so and he is offending some of these people it turns out and a lot of these people are pushing back online so good for him i like hearing that yeah me too we need people holding the line out there making the jokes pushing it forward you can't have comedy become what it did become in the trump years which was like every netflix comedy special where people looking for applause breaks instead of laugh breaks where they would say something that was couched in the idea that they were being counterculture when in reality it was something that everyone on the board of netflix agreed with and then everyone in the audience agreed with. And so they say something like, Trump is bad.

And there's no laughter. It's just claps. I'm performing in Canada, a free country. And it's like, this is just embarrassing. Like, seeing comedy go from... Because I used to really enjoy stand-up comedy. I liked old Bill Burr. I liked old Louis C.K.

I liked Norm Macdonald. I liked all these guys. And they were genuinely very funny, uproariously funny. And now it's just not the same. Like every Netflix special that I try and watch, and it's been a while, granted, it's just applause break bullshit. It's not funny.

Yeah. Zach's linking the text of one of the ones that's getting passed around, which I thought well delivered. It was a funny joke. I watch a lot less than I used to. I don't know if my taste changed, and I just don't care for comedy specials as much or if they just aren't as funny anymore. Or maybe we just happen to be in a little bitty bit of a golden age of comedy right there with Louis C.K. and Bill Burr. I saw Louis C.K. maybe a year ago in Cedar Rapids, actually.

Yeah, but everybody's. I'm sure he's still very funny. I feel like comedians are diminishing returns their entire career like like maybe carlin wasn't but like everybody else no carlin was ever because carlin died everyone has this idea that the last couple carlin specials were really good go back and watch them and just watch him he is a hilarious comic he had so many good specials his last specials is just him listing things off in a very fast way. Not a lot. I like that.

It's, it's not funny. I think it's impressive for his age. I mean, it would be impressive if he, if he, the guy was like 80. He might as well have been juggling chainsaws.

He, he was, I liked it. No, no, if he, if he saw the woman in half, I would be impressed,

but I wasn't laughing at it. And you go back to old Carlin specials and they're hilarious. Just like you can go to specials from like the fucking 70s with Red Fox or the 80s with Eddie Murphy and they're great. The red leather special or whatever the fuck it's called with Eddie Murphy where he's in that big suit. Like that shit is hilarious. I don't feel like we get stuff like

that anymore. It wouldn't fly today. He was really homophobic. Yeah, I guess he was really homophobic yeah yeah i guess he was yeah i think he had some aids jokes too he had a joke that was kind of funny about gay people kicking his ass he's like you know you make fun of gay people and it's all fun and games then you realize that's still a man that's a great show your face is a lion it's some it's i'm paraphrasing it's something along the lines of people have the most problem with jokes when they don't understand who the butt of the joke is and

what the joke is about they confuse those two things and i feel that was just so clear in this like i think it's perfect for right now like right now it's so online is so fucking weird right now it's so woke and it's so over the top with that so i like to see some counterculture pushback a little bit with that you hear that that'd be nice that's trump train trump train that's what that is freedom that's what that is freedom freedom are you are you back on this train apparently i'm not on the train. The train is on us. The train is on us.

We can all hear the train because it's coming. I've been telling them for a while Trump's coming back. He's going to be the next president of the United States. God, I hope not. I mean, I hope not too, but it's happening. I'm not hoping. I'm not sitting here making wishes. I'm telling you what's coming.

I understand now this previous conversation about free access to guns is what you're going for here? Oh, like he's going to help me out with that? That's understood maybe. No, I'm just saying that you're saying it's going to be bad times. This is a good time to own a gun. Oh, no. I don't think the bad times are going to be determined by who's the president anyway. Not in this country anyway. Not our president. Our presidents are always going to do the same shit.

There's a policy in place and it's not going to change as far as the bigger pieces on the planet. They all do the same shit, but one wishes he could do this and one wishes he could do that. Exactly. They actually do. And they kind of grind against the edges a little bit and they'll get a little shit done. Stuff happens, but it's few and far in between. I don't think that matters. But I just think the general culture is going to get changed a little bit because Trump was out there leading the right in a lot of ways on social media. He was a social media leader in many ways.

It emboldened them to be ridiculous online. And now for the last few years, it's kind of gone the other way. And I think it's coming back again. I think it's going to be wild the next few years. And I think if he runs, I really hope he runs because I think he will win. And I want to see the campaign. I want to see that campaign again. I want to see how he stacks up against DeSantis. I want to see how nasty the left gets if it does, if they do end up facing off with Trump, because it will be no holds barred this time. And I will admit that Trump is very charismatic. A lot of people love him, love him. In spite of obvious lies, they believe everything he says, anything he says.

So let's agree that he has charisma, but it doesn't work on me. I don't see it. I just see a dick. I see an asshole, a liar. Every time he talks, I get more frustrated. His charisma doesn't work on me. I think guys like that are going to be a lot more common. I think the next time he runs, he's going to be surprised to learn that he doesn't have as many followers as he did. You think we're going to get kind of a nationwide immunity to this bullshit?

Nope. Immunity is strong, but it's big enough that it doesn't fly like it used to. We're going for what? It's the pandemic term uh for the uh oh my god i'm blanking on the herd immunity you think we're gonna get herd immunity to herd immunity to not bullshit in politics but to trump himself but trump's overt lies obvious lies his um he doesn't have much to say and some of the things he says are silly. Now he does, though.

I'm going to build the wall, he'll say. He says, whatever. Mexico's not sending their best. Drain the swamp. That shit won't fly anymore. I could win Donald Trump in Trump's campaign for him if he would let me run the thing. I believe you, actually. First and foremost,

forget about the quote-unquote stolen election. Nobody's buying that shit, okay? And the people who do, you already had them. You could have told them you were fucking... They're in the bag, baby. You could be the king of Neptune and they'd vote for you. They don't give a fucking shit. They're Trumpers, okay?

So stop with the stolen election shit. Say you're going to rename a planet after Jesus. You don't have to have a big new plan shut up about the wall too unless you you can like really pump up some that see what it's gonna be won by is by commercials and he can buy the most commercials the guy with the most commercials is gonna win his are gonna be so effective he can make a montage definitely buy the most commercials yes he can he has. He has the most money. No, he doesn't. Mark Zuckerberg outspent him in Georgia.

Mark Zuckerberg is not a political party. Yeah, he bought $300 million of Democrat anti-Trump ads in Georgia and really pushed for it there. I don't know who that is. Mark Zuckerberg, the owner of Facebook? Facebook, yeah. I don't understand how he bought ads.

Because he's a billionaire. And so he said, I would like to buy ads, please. And they said, well, I'm not sure if we want your money. And he said, really? It spends. And he goes, OK. Well, if he can make Mark Zuckerberg spend 300 more million dollars, then that'll be interesting. But what I think is that Donald Trump has like 150 million at last at last check of money to spend on this thing.

And he hasn't even really started. That's like something that like is not making sense to me is like I hear all this stuff like, oh, Trump's war coffers are so big. Trump doesn't have the money that a Bezos or a Zuckerberg does. Zuckerberg can decide over afternoon coffee to outspend trump three to one and it will not affect his bottom line he doesn't care he can do that shit easily if he thinks that doing that in georgia is going to give him enough preferential pushback from the legislature there for whatever he's working on that it's worthwhile for him like i don't really even think that billionaires always do that shit the coke brothers did i've never spent $45 million in Georgia. That's crazy.

Sheldon Adelson, how much did he fucking spend? He was the biggest Republican donor for years and years. I'm sure there's rich people on both sides, but what I'm getting at is Donald Trump's commercials will be substantive because he hasn't been doing anything horrible or ruining the country for the last four years, but the other guy and the other team has he's got montages of death destruction inflation bodies in the streets and buildings on fire the inflation is going to be the biggest thing world war three gasoline is

4 4 15 a gallon he that's what you hammer home that's what you hammer home. That's what you hammer home. You go from fucking Wall Street to Main Street and show death, destruction, fire, and blood. And that is the Biden legacy. That's the last four years. And we're the last four as good as the four before that. That's all he has to do. And if he wants to deal with the border, then it should be about how Biden has failed at the border. Not about building – shut up about the wall. Maybe mention how Biden has failed at the border, not about building it. Don't shut up about the wall. Maybe mention how Biden tore down the wall.

I'm sure he can fudge the numbers to make it look like the places with the wall had less crime than the places without the wall, which would make sense because the wall would funnel them into those places, which is what we really should have built instead of a wall was a funnel. No, no. A maze that leads back to Mexico. I want to build a maze that leads back to mexico it's gonna be the biggest most beautiful best maze these mexicans believe me they're gonna walk in they're gonna get five miles in they're gonna be walking right back into mexico saying my god how did i fall for this again it's uh the minotaur right at the at the heart of the

walk into the trump labyrinth right and at the end you're not going to believe this the CIA invented a minotaur a real one oh it's funny you mentioned that have you guys watched Love Death Robots yet the newest no not the new one I hope it's a couple of hits because

it's a very hit or miss show they're all good but one there's one about this sort of spirit of the river who's got scales of gold and she screams as her weapon and it kills everybody except for the one deaf guy.

It's dumb and it's nonverbal. It's all like... Because he's stupid. I didn't like that one. That one was not for me but the rest of them are pretty sick you've got like a cthulhu monster one with the military involved you've got um uh the cia built like a mech grizzly bear and uh this like squad of like funny kind of gi joe type characters like have to face off against it and it. It's really gory and really funny.

I don't know. That one was really good. Oh, there was a really weird sci-fi one where they're interacting with this sort of swarm of intelligence in space

that was kind of unsettling and creepy. I didn't even like i don't know that one was it was weird i really want to like that show more than i like oh there was one that the so if you remember from the very first season there's the three little robots who were looking at humanities like barely yeah they come back they come back to preach to us about the one percent so like that one was lame as fuck like They're like, oh yeah, the tech millionaires head here, and the tech billionaires went here, and it's like, get the fuck out of here.

I don't care. Are you really talking about microplastics? Yeah, they're made of microplastics. Well, they were laughing at humanity. Then they made fun of gun owners. It was like these these are the poors they thought their guns would save them and then it was like like these that you had so you had where the poors how the poors died how the um the uh the tech millionaires died then how the

tech billionaires died because i guess like those are the three classes of humanity wow sounds like it was written by retards i didn't like that one um but i like the rest of them and i really every time i see one of them that has that like almost photorealistic animation and i'm like oh wait i know that actor but that's not really that actor that's like a scanner darkly that looking thing really really like photorealistic and like i don't know like you'll you'll catch it occasionally but oh that has kind of moved funny there but for the most part it looks like just real actors in animation i don't know uh i dig that show so much there's there's a lot of um i feel like there's a little bit of creative

license being taken not creative license of freedom there's a lot of freedom for the creators that that like submit that animation because i'm guessing each of them is produced by a completely different studio who's like and they're all collaborating together and that's why the they're all so varied but that's why some are horrific and some are marginal well the art style is totally different i think everything about them is different like you need that though if you're going to get like those outliers that are excellent you need those outliers that are poor like you need those outliers that are poor. You need to be letting people push the boundaries of what... I'm sure some executive probably wanted to say no to the one where the guy is fucking that disgusting alien insect

creature for all of eternity, but he doesn't know it because it's in his mind. That one still makes it so unsettling. Which one is it? I don't remember that one still like makes it so unsettling which one is i don't remember that one it's it's it's where like i i i'll watch it is it season one or two i must have missed that one i think it's last season i think it's season two it's it's a space when it's where he um he warps through space and uh it's he's being fed this fantasy in his head that he's like hooking up with a beautiful woman and rekindling his relationship with her and in reality he's like been there for years being like fed on and actually he's been like having sex with the most disgusting space insect you've ever you can imagine but he's having fun well that was the

kind of the crux of the issue she's he's like show me what's real and she's like you're not ready for that and by the way the like the fantasy version of her you can't imagine a more like beautiful voluptuous like woman like like it's incredible like like the the they should just be making porn yeah he should just live in the matrix show me what's real and she's like you're not ready for that one yet let's just show me and she's like all right and like he sees that he's in like this barren wasteland and he's ragged and dirty and bearded and his clothes are almost rotted off of him and then the creature like like comes on all these like scorpion legs out of its hole with this disgusting i think it had tits but like just the most awful

thing ever and then you just see his face and he's just screaming in horror he's like and I was just but did the critter like him oh yeah well then it seems friendly so then snap and he's like right back

into like that fantasy world that replays over and over every day so it's not a bad gig hmm and what does the creature get out of this? sex? I can't remember I think that uh she's just lonely you know just lonely and horny and covered in

ant legs and spiders yeah not really the point of the story well that's what I got fixated on. That was a rough one. No, I love that show a lot. There's only been a handful of truly shitty ones. The one with that giant from last season was just...

That was the worst ever. My time was wasted. Netflix owes me $3 for that. There was so much potential to be cool it was like a 14 minute film it wasn't super long but through like 11 minutes of it i was still excited about the payoff like where this was gonna go what was gonna happen and and basically a giant falls on the beach and rots so at first you're like it's gonna come back to life it's not really dead oh wait a minute it's this seems weird and then like time enough time goes on first you're like it's gonna come back to life it's not really dead oh wait a minute it's

this seems weird and then like time enough time goes on and you're like oh this is literally just a big rotting corpse and the story of it yeah yeah yeah i thought i was like i was gonna come back to life okay he's not gonna come back to life but one of his zombie come back to get him yeah right okay they won't do that but But, oh, no. I thought, like, I thought they were going to disrespect his body because they were. They were, like, spray painting it and jumping on it and stuff.

Yeah, they were fucking him. And someone fucked a poor. The guy's got a real big, they've had a real big blackhead poor and fucking the shit out of him. Fucked a giant once. And I thought his people were going to and find like some hillbillies fucking pores and and they were just gonna go ape shit like ruin the village and and the end

of the story was gonna be like and that was the last day that humanity stood tall yeah i thought it would be some trick like oh i would have slow clap was actually the big guy not the little guy and we you know or something like the old tw. The old Twilight Zone, where our main character was the bad guy the whole time. There's a giant woman on this planet. Yeah, that same one. Or there was one where the kids were training for their mission, and it seemed like they're training to go fight the aliens, right? And they're in a camp that's that's a mix

between like summer camp and like a military like operation and uh at the end they're like yes soon we'll we'll do it and they look up and it's the fucking earth that like they're on some sort of like camouflaged moon base training to like invade our planet you're like I like that shit. I've been watching Tales from the Crypt all week. The old ones? The old ones. So they're stuck in some sort of trademark shit where I think they were originally

on HBO maybe. It's such a stupid show. It's not a stupid show. It's really well written. It's written by really respected people, directed by really respected's written by like really respected people directed by really bad show acted by really respected people i like the one with the fiber more the boob oh fuck off this stuff is great okay that one was good anybody who wants to join me

in in the nostalgia that is tales from the crypt just head on over to youtube and search tales and then imagine me watching with you imagine the things i'd say this is where i pause i'm like that's the beer on kyle starkett this is two years before the andy griffith show and then i pause i play it again and we go most boring minutiae but no there's a big playlist with absolutely all of the episodes and there's a ton but there's no other way to watch it that i've found i i really do like that show i think y'all are giving it a bad rap i think if you re-watch some of it you you it's it's like black

mirror huh that's something like that it's it's it that. It's cut from the same cloth as a show like Black Mirror. I feel like that's two years overdue. Am I crazy? No, no. They did have a recent season, I guess two years ago. It was pretty crap. It was pretty crappy. Yeah, I refuse to watch Miley Cyrus.

I don't respect her acting. Only her vagina. What's wrong with her vagina? Oh, no. I do respect her vagina. I don't respect her acting. Only her vagina. What's wrong with her vagina? I do respect her vagina. I think she's really hot. I even like that scratchy voice she's got. Which I'm guessing is from extreme drug use? What the fuck happened?

Have you seen her sing Jolene? I love it. I love it. She loves to smoke. Have you ever seen her pissing in a parking lot? She does it all the time and puts it on Instagram. It's great. Really?

I'm not into that sort of thing, but I'll take what I can get. He's delivering this with a very straight face. It's tough to get a read. There's a world in which that's real. Does anyone want to bet me that Miley Cyrus doesn't upload pictures of herself pissing in parking lots? I've seen those pictures. I'm not going to make that bet. Let's hope Trump doesn't upload pictures of herself pissing in parking lots. I've seen those pictures. I'm not going to make that bet. Let's hope Trump doesn't hire him.

I have a new topic. The memes alone, it's worth it. Okay. Because we have Filthy. Filthy, if you could look at that, that is China's... Am I going to regret clicking this link? No, it's fine. China's social

credit system explained in an infographic. It shows the kinds of things that would get you social credit points and the kinds of things that would cost you social credit points. Some of the get stuff is pretty cool. Engaging in charity work gets you points. Taking care of elderly family members. Positively influence the neighborhood. Donating blood.

Heroic act. Praising the government on social media gets you points. Helping the poor. Having good financial credit history. And committing a heroic act, as Kyle mentioned. Now, some of the things that lower your score. Cheating in online games. Participating in anything to be deemed a cult insincere apologies for crimes

committed scary spreading rumors on the internet posting anti-government messages on social media not that's a lot of the rumors not visiting aging parents illegally protesting against authorities traffic offenses so i'm sorry are these are these rank ordered or can i just say can i just say that i'm on board with this system like 92 percent this sounds like some i really like the visiting the elderly we don't do enough of that cheating on online games i love the cheating of the online games and they need it over there those fucking cheaters another word and jesus christ i think another word sounds so much and and and giving blood i like that too they won't take mine because i got like syphilis antibodies or something i don't know what

this is really because i bet your blood is fucking awesome if i took your blood i'd get jacked if you took my blood you get acne your fucking voice would get deeper i like this stuff like visiting the elderly you're right that's good but then like spreading rumors online or saying anything about the Chinese government. It's like I was hoping to hear how wise it's funny how they structure like all of these things. You just spread a rumor online. If you donate blood a very specific thing donating

blood, you can get points. Oh, if you say something we don't like online. Yeah. And then if you sincerely apologize about it. Yeah. Or if you spread something we deem to be a rumor after the fact. Yeah. And so it's like, oh, so there's a million billion ways to get lowered down and only a couple of small ways to go. What are you going to visit elderly people every day?

You're going to get blood every day. It is true. It does seem to start with a knock you down system. Yeah. No, this is a pay to play. We know how this is very easy. Look,

look, all you got to do is Jack Ma doesn't play by that rule. Just don't be an asshole, right? They're saying people are spreading rumors about the government online. I don't like that either. I don't want to play out there spreading rumors about my government. Get out of here, busybody. Where are you from?

Aren't the important bits the punishments? I want nothing but rumors. Aren't the important bits what they do with this? What happens to you by playing by this or not? We chip away your score enough you won't be able to uh find gainful employment but i mean employers should definitely look at your score to see what kind of person you are i would love it if there were a cool guy score that everybody had been accruing since the time what would i do to raise my points all right cool

guy score um you had post uh woke memes on Twitter. Traffic violations. Bag 100th girl. So let's say traffic violations are a mixed bag. Speeding? Cool guy points. Running a red light? You lose cool guy points. See? You see how that works? Doing a donut

in a parking lot. Cool guy points. Under 18, cool guy points. Older than 18. Only if there were girls there. There were girls there, but they were underage. How's that factor in? That's extra. Complicated.

Those are the only girls who think donuts are cool. What are you, out of your mind? What, are you going to do donuts for a bunch of 30-year-olds? That's why I do donuts in front of KB Toys. Call the cops. Oh, God. I would like some sort of because right now we got this like credit system that doesn't even take so much into uh account right like they don't care that i'm paying my cell phone bill apparently on time they don't care that like i pay my garbage man on time but they do care if i like have some silly credit card that they they'll just i

don't know when they'll stop sending them if i if i kept saying yes lately and they do that for everyone i i feel like i don't know we need a real credit system these chinese are on to something well they are winning like i i don't believe they were everyone's beating us anymore i need to we need to have a war to be sure because we thought russia was pretty badass and it turns out they're not as good as a bunch of dude russia has been shining our wheels all month this has been look it's not going great over here right the mass shootings the economy's looking rough and fucking inflation is yeah but look at how high our inflation numbers are. Regardless of whether you're liberal or conservative or whatever the fuck,

we all know our president is kind of pitiful. Half in the bag. The last one was embarrassing. So is this one, but for a very different way. This is like grandpa needs to be like his wife is there so much, and I think she's there for a safety system. I'm not even laughing at him anymore. I feel bad. He's a diminished man it feels bad but we're not russia jesus christ they can't do anything right it's it's did you ever like in your head put russia on like equal tier with china

maybe i did thought about it differently i always had like china as a much like higher tier like a long time ago like yeah they were the second right china's a rising star russia feels like it's a falling perfect perfect the thing is they did have us believe that russia might be second or third in best armies in the world remember the premise of like modern i don't remember which call of duty it was but the premise was that russia had swept across europe like all the way to france and they had also paratrooped into like the west coast of the united states and it was a fight for la or some shit you were like in small town america with a 50 cow like like it was like i don't mean to be to be anti-french but i do think that russia

would have an easier time in france than ukraine the french would hold them back with their lives they can't they can't take it you think so last time um yeah didn't the nazis conquer france in like four hours i watched uh every time they were telling her i think literally it was like two days or something right i watched a documentary about that and they explained literally was like two days or something, right? I watched a documentary about that and they explained why. It was like they went at skipping speed to Paris and then conquered it and then that was it.

Ah, this is fucking easy, Hans! What is so much fun? Not just rendering on surveillance! Hello! I just want to point out that Taylor's now been holding that thing for two and a half hours. That's amazing. His left hand can't do shit, but his right hand's going for three, four hours before. I watched a documentary that explained why France capitulated so quickly. And I can't remember the finer

details of the war lines or whatever and how everything progressed, but I came away from it being like, oh, they kind of had a raw deal. That wasn't really fair then, I guess. It is war or whatever, but it seemed like they weren't prepared properly for what happened.

I can't remember the finer details at all. The Germans basically debuted that strategy of blitzkrieg, lightning war, and no one had ever fought like that in the modern era. And so France didn't anticipate them being able to cover the amount of ground they did. And so it was like they were caught flat-footed at every single encounter. Yeah, although at some level you do have to wonder, no one had thought strategically of the strategy of taking things quickly.

I understand it's not exactly that. It just sounds like that's probably been thought of once or twice before. What if we attacked them really quickly? No, that would never work. A lot of technologies had convened as well to make it possible with the more more reliable engines period because because you know world war one like there's a lot i'm sure i'm sure it was like you know like counter to like the current idea of like digging like fucking trenches and like holding

this bit by bit i'm sure yeah i'm sure when you think of blitzkrieg i always thought of just like all right everybody go that way but then i watched like um it was actually from the 40s and it was one of those like silly black and white animations for the u.s army explaining it and and it was more like a spear penetrating through the line and the line could eventually was pierced and then like the everything behind it forming this channel that then now the line was completely pierced and you had enemies to your left and right but the front kept piercing more and the and the back is like filling in the gaps like continually there was a very organized um maneuvering uh thing that was going on via

radio and and highly highly trained cracked out uh troops because they were all on uh amphetamines wasn't the mezzan Line a big part of it? I thought this was the deal, that France had this wall that they invest a lot of time and energy into to protect themselves from the Germans, and the Germans just went around the wall. And now it's like a famous analogy for people who do that

everywhere. You know, you've got the most secure Dura in the world with two windows next to it. That's the Maginot Line. I remember something about that as well the world war ii is fascinating it's one of my it's it's the coolest thing that's ever happened i think in human history the russian tactics versus like the blitzkrieg tactics like the russians literally were just like just keep just keep going like Where do we go, comrade? Just go, dude. Just go forward. And it's like, I'm cold and hungry and I don't have shoes on.

Can I go this way? Point this way, then go forward? What was the game that we played, Taylor, with like the World War II? It was an RTS. Medal of Honor or something? Company of Heroes or something. Company of Heroes, something like that. It was the top.

Yeah, Company of Heroes 2, that's what we played. It was so fun to play as the Russians because they had a penal squad or something, maybe a penal grenadier squad. So eight guys just running in brown uniforms and you could make them all throw their grenades at once and decimate some fucking Wehrmacht, like high-level German nonsense over there.

It was funny how that game played out, too, because if you played as the Russians, it was like, your tanks are cheap as shit, your conscripts have horrible aim, but they're cheap as shit, but you just keep pumping them out. And if you played as the Germans, it was like, you gotta save up and get that

Tiger or that Panther tank, and then you protect that Panther tank, because it's gonna destroy every other tank that comes in range, but you't let it take hits you know and you got your little like elite germans and then the americans were kind of like the the middle ground faction if i recall where it's like your tanks weren't as good as the germans but their infantry weren't as bad as the russians what a fun game that was a good game that was a really good game i like to do those um just like bottleneck defense strategies where we just have tons of emplaced guns and stuff bofers guns and stuff that's a really fun game i wonder if there's a uh a new

version of that that was fun yeah we would just play and be like all right we're doing another custom map this time let's put 12 enemies on the other side you take the left bridge i take the right and then like three hours later we'd be be like, I don't think they're going to make it through. The debris stays there. And so there's just an entire bridge clogged with Russian or Nazi tanks or whatever. We would make like 12 armies try to

come down a long bridge, like a suspension bridge. And we're on the other end with like sandbags and cannons. And they didn't get the memo that you can play defensive. No, that's a really fun game. I'm so looking forward.

I'm going to call it back to reality for a second. Did you guys catch any of the reports of the Russian soldiers who didn't really know what the actual political reality situation was from that? I think Kyle told me a bit about it. Oh, i've heard everything from guys who thought they were on a training exercise and didn't know what part of the world they were

in to um guys um getting uh executed by their superiors that were wounded to to people like you know being handed uh being handed their papers that say you're not in the army and you haven't been in the army for a month and a half and these are soldiers in ukraine with russian uniforms and they're like here are your papers um you're not in the army nor have you been for the last month and a half you should probably get out of here like like all sorts of nonsense to try to like what different reasons and in that instance they were just like they didn't want to be responsible for those troops anymore those were just untrained like they were in a barn on the wrong part of ukraine like cold that's they were like we're cold like like i'm hungry like like

like they don't have any sort of but it's their armies. But it's to their advantage to say, I don't know why I'm here. I thought it was a training. I'm being tried for war crimes now, right? They're saying, you came here and you murdered Ukrainians. This is a trial in Ukraine, by Ukrainians, for Ukrainians. And it's to my advantage to say, man, I thought I was here in a training exercise. But that's not what happened. They all say training exercise.

exercise but that's not what happened but they all say training exercise and the one that was put on trial said um i i was i either had to like shoot that man or they were going to kill me you know he didn't mention training exercise he just told the truth personally they shouldn't put that guy on trial that that seems insane to like put that guy on trial he had no choice like it wasn't even like he was ordered by the radio like you've seen a movie like they're right on trial he had no choice like it wasn't even like he was ordered by the radio like you've seen a movie like they're right do it he can't be like you're breaking up like you should got like like like on it you can't do that because there's literally a guy there who's saying destroy that vehicle and and he's like what that's an order you destroy the vehicle you're you're a tank gunner, I guess, in the fucking army,

and your commander or whatever he is tells you to destroy a vehicle. Are you supposed to have big ideas about which vehicles and when and where? No, you're supposed to be a machine that clicks that button when he tells you to. That's what you've been training you to do. I thought they put a stop to that at the end of World War II. Wasn't this like all the nuremberg stuff and then they gave you isn't this true of our current military as well that you were supposed to be only only following lawful orders and part of your job as a soldier is to understand what constitutes a lawful order and what isn't so isn't that exactly the opposite of what you just said i mean militaries do not care

about international law that's not something that's been enforced in a little while, if that's the case, because they just found this guy guilty of it. They gave him a life, right? It's super weird, too, the level to which Russia was willing to stoop to in Ukraine. It seems just so strange to me. Already the disproportionate – I get it. The war didn't go well. They lost it, essentially. didn't go well they lost it essentially but it it seems like if you were going to do that would you really want to add war crimes on top of that were they really just banking on the fact that

this was just never going to be something that the international community was willing to do anything about because it's russia and you don't want to fuck with russia and their nukes kind of deal is this really that could be i mean you you generally nukes are kind of like you get out of jail free card for shit like as far as what russia and china and the u.s do like we got nukes oh yeah right oh i guess honduras can't hold us accountable oops like so i totally get that what is what is like kind of the end game of this like did russia steal the um donetsk or luhansk like that that region? Or did Ukraine take that back? Like, what's going to be the kind of redrawing of the map if there will be after this? The Ukrainians are saying that they will not stand

for any redrawing of the map, that the war will go on. And the Ukrainians can fight forever. And the Russians can't. That's the state of things. This is just like a Civ game. Well, the Ukrainians can't fight forever. There's still a people that needs to get back to their lives. Nope, they can fight forever.

This is a Civ game. We are at war. We're being invaded. But the problem is the team members all to the east of me are feeding me resources and manpower, and I can hold this line forever. You will have to. They will hold it forever. The Russians cannot win. They can't this line forever. You will have to. They will hold it forever.

The Russians cannot win. They can't. Certainly not. They're doing this trickle-in thing anyway. They would need to stop, pull back, and mass forces and try to come next spring. Then maybe. You think that they'll just continue?

You have to remember, Ukraine is a country. They need to get back to letting people people because they have friends we're paying the bill those friends will not last forever the ukraine also was like big talking to russia for years because they were convinced that we were going to let them in nato and then the u.s said no dice it'll stay forever it'll we'll never stop paying this because this is a win for us for every dollar we send over there it costs russia two and that's not the exact ratio but it might be yeah but do we want to fight an infinite proxy war yes using that's always our goal so we're just going to use ukrainian lives to fight

a war against russia this is the best case scenario for no i don't like this is uncle sam's you don't like it but you just get one vote. You're not lucky, Martin. Yeah, you get your one vote. Uncle Sam is winning so fucking hard right now. And nobody seems to even be talking about it. Think about the shit, actually, Ukrainian people. And then and then like Biden has the audacity. Somebody propped him up to let China know that, like, just so you know, like we're ready to go to war over Taiwan. Like that was an interesting pronouncement, wasn't it to go to war over Taiwan. That was an interesting

pronouncement, wasn't it? Yeah, Uncle Sam's got some fucking balls, okay? Somebody propped Biden up real nice the other day to say that shit to China. No, this thing in Russia, we want this to go on as long as possible. If this is happening five years from now, the world is a safer place for it. But that's not

good for Ukrainian citizens and the people there. Where are you from, Taylor? What part of Ukraine do you hail from? You know how I am. I don't like us getting involved in this shit. You're absolutely right. You don't want to use citizens of a foreign country in a proxy war against another country.

We're not using them. We're helping them. They can decide if they want to stop. They don't want to stop because Slavs are Ukraine or whatever. Really, they'll decide. So there's no influence of the U.S. egging on proxy warfare between the nations. If Volodymyr wants to strike up a deal with Russia and agree to some new battle lines, he's free to do that. He can't join NATO. And don't think of him as some pawn of the West, because he's not standing

for that either like he's doing his own thing and he's happy to keep doing it because he wants all of his country back now and you can't under imagine the amount of resources that they're being pumped in there like we are sending was it 40 more i can't keep up okay perfect example i'm glad you brought that up yeah a huge amount of dead of dead Vietnamese who were used as pawns in a proxy war. Who cares about the Vietnamese? It's about Russia and the U.S. And the Soviet Union won Vietnam because of how many – they made us look terrible in the national – this is perfect. They embarrassed us on the global stage.

America's beatable. Did you guys know? What are you talking about? America's never lost a war. Is that maybe the Civil War? No. They just lost one. Look, we did it over here in the jungle with rice paddy farmers.

You can't lose a Civil War. You win in the end, right? Like, regardless. That's which side you were on, Taylor. It's ambivalent. I understand what you're saying, Kyle, and it depends on the perspective you're taking. If your perspective is more like, we need to be distanced from these countries. And it's about culture

and technology as well, or technocracy maybe is the correct word, because right now we're showing that American tech fucking shits on Russian tech. It shits on it in every way that matters. We're showing that the Special Forces teams

that are being given night vision, they're more effective. The drones that are being fed into it, the money that we're able to pump into it and not even care. Well, frankly, we're going through a terrible economic crisis, but we're still able to fund a huge proxy war

that's just shitting all over them. Yeah, we just got to borrow some money from China. I heard they were sending T-62 tanks. I think those were the ones from the game that we were just talking about. Yeah, and those weren't even the good ones. Those weren't even the good ones in that game. But no, and I think Filthy

understands what I'm saying. It depends on the angle you're taking. If you're just talking about superiority of the US and their ability to inflict influence everywhere on Earth, I understand what you're saying. If like the narrative is to be believed, though, that, oh, we really do care on behalf of the Ukrainian people and the people in these countries that are caught in the middle of this shit, then it would stand to reason that you go. Yeah, you know what is not good for the average Ukrainian is continuing a proxy war with fucking Russia and putting them in harm's way. What's your

solution so we should we should we should we have them be less armed so the russians can more quickly conquer their country is that what you want to do i don't i don't know what the right move is but i know that it's not getting involved in yet another proxy war in korea or vietnam or not giving them the you're like i don't know what the answer is but i know that it is that not giving them stuff and letting the russians quickly topple them i don't think the russians would quickly topple them the russians seem pretty inept in this shit and no no no no no no we are making them we are doing this this look there may be ukrainians on the ground but we are the intelligence and the coordination we are spending it's not It's not just the billions that we're spending because we are. We're sending cash money as well as shipments of everything imaginable to fight a war.

It's the infrastructure that is a trillion dollars that generations of Americans have been putting together. That is our intelligence network, our spy satellites, and the planes that we don't even know about that fly at speeds that we can't imagine and are invisible maybe even to the fucking eye at this point because when's the last time we saw like cutting edge tech the f-35 right they built that shit in the 90s yes like so the cutting edge tech you can't see this makes perfect sense what i'm saying is that a lot of money is being used to coordinate the war effort in Ukraine. I don't think it's a coincidence that the Russians suddenly don't know how to fight wars, but the Ukrainians are great at it. I understand where you're coming from, and I don't know what the right answer is.

It is bad for Ukrainians to have an active war going on for the next five years and if you're saying it would benefit the u.s to have this going on for the next five six years i believe you because it would by comparison weaker weaken russia having a hostile state on their border much more than it would us it'd be much easier for us to fuel that and antagonize and and really put the screws to russia but is that is that good for ukrainian people, of course it's not good for you. It's not about what's good for them. It's about what's better for them. Because we don't have the choice between peace and war.

That's not the decision to end. You can always try and find a peace. I mean, it feels like you're both arguing the same problem here here right taylor's over there saying this is no good for them kyle just responded with it'd be better it's better for them than the alternative of being conquered but there's a third alternative which is the war gets stopped sooner right yes that's not better for the other people invested in that by what terms by what terms because if if ukraine has to cede control of all of their access to the sea there and all of their oil fields, then they go from the 14th largest producer of natural gas on the planet to a third world fucking country with their biggest enemy who just invaded them twice in a row in the course of, what seven years they now have to trust that okay this think about a civ game how this would work when someone offers you peace what they really mean they mean give me a minute no i'd be trying to win with dancing and culture they mean give me a minute because i need

my shit's on fire right now give me a minute oh you want my way to victory oh yeah dance in the streets we'll be back in four years like no they need to fight this war until it's ended properly. Until, maybe until Vladimir Putin is gone, because that's an outcome that is not inconceivable. Some other guy will just step in and fill the vacuum. Not a great, this is a different kind of guy.

They haven't done this in a while. They haven't invaded another country in a while like this. This is a little different. I thought you said they did seven years ago. Same guy. It's the same country! The same guy! I'm saying... I don't think Boris Yeltsin would be

invading countries and blowing up... Well, let's dig him up! Zoom Boris Yeltsin! Finally, we're coming up with answers and not just problems. Now we're coming up with solutions! But in the end, I do think that the war going on is what's best for Ukraine.

I think that their position can only improve and that Russia's position can only get worse. It's not like anybody's funding the Russians the way that the rest of the fucking world is funding Ukraine. And a huge portion of the world's economy is choking Russia. They're going to be forced into a situation that can only be more advantageous to Ukraine.

And don't imagine that the Ukrainians are being slaughtered by the millions or anything. They're fighting a very effective war from what all the reports on the Internet are. Millions of people's lives have been absolutely uprooted, destroyed. They can't return to their homes. Their families are distant. In the past, when a war like this would happen, the loser would have to pay.

Maybe we pull it. See, Donald Trump, maybe that's his thing. Maybe he comes in, he's like, we're going to build Ukraine, and Russia's going to pay for it. Oh, we just won, Donald! We just won, Donald! That would be very funny. I would like that if he did that. Oh, but come on. Everyone would be like,

you lied the first time. No, no, no. I got it even better. We're going to rebuild Ukraine, and Mexico's going to pay for it. Now I'm on board. And I would like it if he actually made Mexico pay for it, though. You couldn't get Mexico to pay for the wall. So we need to invade Mexico. As soon as they refuse to pay for that wall, we need to explain to them that current boundaries did not allow for an effective and safe barrier between our two countries.

And so we have to invade on the basis that American lives are in danger. Because they won't control the immigration issue. We have to do it for the betterment of our citizens to keep them safe. And there's no way to do it correctly with the current borders. So we would have to invade. We'd have to take some territory. And that is where the wall would be placed. And it wouldn't be just a wall against illegal Mexicans.

It would be a wall against all Mexicans. That'd be more fair. I'm over the whole thing. And they would pay for it if they wanted to use it, if wanted to come over here okay i would i would like a moat at all oh there would be a moat a moat with crocodiles all sorts just syringes you know donald trump after that right but like all jokes aside you know donald trump asked about that right like that's hilarious he wanted alligators in the in the zach zach fact check me because like that's either either a fever dream i had or i remember something about

that like i i think is like so many of these trump things i'm like well like i think it's well well woody what you have to remember is that any sort of barrier to entry is going to ultimately decrease the number of people doing it. I'll tell you what, the cost of a barrier to entry might be too high in the case of crocodiles, but it would.

It would reduce it. Now, we've got an idea to stop the illegals. We're calling it the Hornet Mile. It is a mile of southern Texas where we've destroyed everything. Nothing but hornets. Nothing but wasps. Good luck Mexicans. Finally they make their plot return.

Well, it turns out they killed all the bees. No one could have seen that coming. I'm so sorry. We've allowed the killer bees into the country specifically for this moment. They're going to be relocated to the border wall and then it's barbed wire and killer bees into the country specifically for this moment. They're going to be relocated to the border wall and then it's barbed wire and killer bees. Africa is sending killer bees.

That'd be so funny. They're like, Trump racistly calls African bees killer bees and it's like, well, but they are killer bees. I remember the graphic. What would happen if you tried to put alligators in the Rio Grande?

They'd probably ruin the ecosystem somehow. Right, somehow, but you don't know for sure until you try. What about some kind of aquatic wolf? Ooh, a sea wolf. Or a sea bear, perhaps. Perhaps some sort of a hybrid between a wolf and an alligator. How about a series of enormous Venus flytraps? I like that.

I like that. Those lazy immigrants would be taking a nap. Crawling. Being digested. I'm thinking the Rio Grande, if you were to inhabit it with lions and sea lions, the lions would be a way bigger problem. They would be. I guess. I don't know. Are sea lions even aggressive?

Yeah, I think I saw... Is that a sea lion that bit that little girl in the ass and pulled her into the water? That famous little Reddit gif? That's always funny. I think they get really big. I would like it if our southern border was protected by all sorts of ferocious things. I would like some sort of a big mirror that's like a magnifying glass in the sky that could beam down and burn invaders.

Yeah, I'd like some sort of Eye of Sauron, some sort of Colossus of Rhodes that's animated and comes to life. I want it to aesthetically appear, though, to just be an enormous magnifying glass, an old-timey one. I'm okay with that. It adds a little bit of class to the horror. But I really just, you know, I'm passionate about our borders. And not just the southern border, the northern border, too. I think we should shoot any of those fuckers that try to cross either border. I'm passionate about our borders and not just the southern border, the northern border, too. I think we should shoot any of those fuckers that try to cross either border. I'm passionate about our eastern border.

The UK is coming again, and I will not have it. People think they're done. They're going to reconquer us. They're going to try. I think that we should have gotten rid of all those people in Hawaii when we conquered or bought it or whatever we did because they've just got – I don't know. I don't like those people. They've been sassy ever since, right? They've been sassy and racist, frankly.

The biggest racists in this country are Hawaiians. Periche, brother. Periche. If I were president, if I were president, I would take them off the... And make it illegal to be Hawaiian. I would just want them gone. I feel like we could make up a story.

How many people live in Hawaii? What is it, Zach? Two million? Three million? But it's not all Hawaiians, right? It's just the Hawaiian Hawaiians. You know which ones it is. It's all those fucking vowels.

Brown skin, overweight, got to go, right? There's three million people in Hawaii? I thought there was way less than that. There's's some fat tan guys and we'll filter them out though don't worry if you're a roofer from alabama on vacation don't worry we won't you won't get one who takes his shirt off to prove how white he is he's got the blood have you ever no look how burned i am see See? Like, all right, let him work. It's a farmer's tan. I saw a roofer one time, and his tan, to me, when I saw it, I was like a teenager.

But I remember thinking, like, that's like a disability that you have. Like, you're so tan that you look wounded. Like, he was a different race. He had transcended into, like like some sort of Latin colors. He was progressive. How in like the fighting world, if you spot a dude with really cabbage ears, I'm messing it up. Yeah, cauliflower.

Cauliflower, thank you. With really messed up cauliflower ears, then it's like, oh, respect. This guy is a practitioner who's been at it for some period of time as a lifeguard we had people with leathery destroyed ugly ugly skin tattoos that look nothing like the day they got them and it was like uh you know they were like cauliflower ears like it is i don't want it but i i kind of respect what it whoa he's like a veteran yeah they'd have zinc oxide or whatever like i well people put that on their nose typically maybe now something i want it everywhere you don't slather your like no you do that's that way

you can spot me when i'm amongst the waves which you call me the white terror stay in the shade a little more that'll do you well the white so i talked. Stay in the shade a little more. That'll do you well. The white terror. So I talked to William before the show. I think Kyle did as well. I'm heading out. I'm going to go on a nighttime walk with my wife before she falls asleep on the beach. That sounds gay.

It is a little gay. So filthy. Good talking to you. See you later, gang. Talk to you and see you later gang have fun I've got a Ukrainian now over here what about Ukrainian people

meanwhile we topple a fucking revolutionary in South America every month get out of here he said what about the Ukrainian people but I think what he really meant was I don't like popping in every war. He's been pretty

consistent on that. He also said he would flee if we were ever invaded. Like a coward. Well, he's consistent. He doesn't want anything part of any war. Yep. Clearly. Passivist. Passivist. Unless you're in his parking spot. Oh, he'll

fuck you up. I don't want to be talking about it but it's funny i'm having a hard time keeping up with this conversation oh this is all like pka lore i i'm pulling back like five years ago taylor who is strong and built like a gorilla he and his father pulled up to a game or a graduation or something, and there was someone who had reserved a parking spot by standing in it. I didn't know this,

but apparently that is not a rule that you can do. People don't respect the stand in the parking spot to reserve it rule. So Taylor picked him up and then carried him out of the spot while his father parked. Did this person resist as Taylor was doing that? I think the person realized resistance was futile.

I like that. He might have been able to struggle or whatever, but he was just going to delay his loss. Yeah. Taylor's a big guy. He's bigger now. I bet Taylor could bear hug a woman to death or a small child

like not a big girl but like right a regular woman yeah dainty little cheerleader or something like that he could bear hug her to death I bet he could he would just stop him from being able to breathe it'd be like um who's the black lives matter guy that got murdered by the cops when they kneeled on his chest that's the comparison which one uh i forget floyd maybe

george floyd the good guy or the bad guy he's the bad guy he's a good guy so george floyd was the guy that got killed some of them are bad guys i didn't realize this was a like a extreme inebriation episode wait no we make distinctions here between the good people the cops kill and the bad people the cops kill and the people the cops are so afraid i wasn't sure if he was the cop or the victim when i said that but in any case i so george floyd got kneeled on couldn't't breathe, and died, I think. And Taylor could do that to a cheerleader. Oh, fuck. Yeah, he could.

Oh, Taylor stomped a cheerleader? He'd break her in half. He could do it with a hug. Oh, I got him some fridge magnets. Basically, he follows entirely. Stomped a cheerleader fridge magnets. Go on. Yeah, yeah.

I got him these fridge magnets. I got to pull up my... Are they for colorado colorado i don't know hockey team you follow oh no that's mean i i i've thought about a few spike gifts um one of my spike gifts i still might do it so i'm glad he's not here but i'm thinking about on etsy there's this there's this person who's like leather work and he makes these really nice weight lifting belts and uh you can get it in the back and get it personalized and i'm gonna i was thinking about getting like like the nicest weightlifting belt he definitely owns it would now be and but then on the back it says from kyle

in huge letters that's all it says it's like a um from that that's what dwight did in the office when he gave michael's uh a really nice jersey like like a hockey jersey. He was like, oh, yeah. And he turns around and says, the name is from Dwight. And it's just amazing. No, I found these from that 600-pound life TV show that he watches. And it's like magnets of the doctor with his quotes. He's like, you could have – they go in your fridge. You could have easily lost 30 pounds this month.

Or you're not going to starve. or who is your enabler? So I'm getting the most fridge magnets. I like that. I lost my train of thought on Taylor. Spike gifts. Spike it. Oh, what if the weightlifting belt said juicy,

like right above his ass? I don't know. I like it. He would like that though. It's got to be spell his name. Toilets are good. That's a don't know why I like it. He would like that though. Spell his name wrong. Toilers are good. That's a degenerative name. That would be annoying to look at. Your own name spelled incorrectly.

Or like the wrong letter capitalized. Like oddly in the middle. Like T-A just the O is capital. Just make it look awful. I'll get on this. Magnets are on the way though. So Filthy, still doing the Twitch thing? O. It's capital. Just make it look awful. I'll get on this. This will be fun. Magnets are on the way, though.

Filthy, still doing the Twitch thing as your primary job? Still doing the Twitch thing as my primary job. How do you like it? It goes up and down. I don't feel necessarily stuck in it, but it's been what I've been doing. The change of direction would be a lot of effort, I think.

What would I do? if I stopped randomly, I would just like go back to school. I'd look for something else kind of deal. You know, it's like, it's got a lot of momentum at this point. So it has its ups and its downs. I like lots of parts of it, but parts of it, I'm kind of bored of sick of tired of kind of, you know, it can be a bit of a trap, you know, like, like,

I'm looking at wings of redemption kind of, it's like, it's not what he wants to do, but he hasn't been developing any other skill sets over the past 12 14 years yep so you know it's the best choice he has and i think that's super common like even on even as you rise up like yeah it's and the lifestyle is you sit there and don't like it when you're doing it every day you're like man this room is just a depression chamber with blackout curtains and i play this game six eight hours a day but then you're like well i mean what would i do otherwise go to some office in a cube and sit there eight ten hours a day yeah and i complained about it's better and there's things

about that you can adjust right so for example i can't do the one game over and over and over again, because for me, that starts to get into that border of, well, if I'm going to do that, I might as well go to the fucking office job. At least I'll learn something, do something else about it. Right. So you try to, you try to get it, you try to adapt it. So it sits a little bit better with you, right? You do the things you're interested in.

You shape the community in a way that you're interested in. You try to be engaged with some stuff that isn't just that. You build your rest of your life that you're doing interesting things, that kind of stuff, right? How do you shape a community? I've never done that. My community is shaped like a middle finger. Well, I mean, that's the mentality you want in there. Like you do it through moderators. You do it through the tone you set. You do it through what you allow and you don't allow. You do it through what you take offense at, what you react to. You know, you do it through the tone you set you do it through what you allow and you don't allow you do it through what you take offense at what you you act react to you know you do it through all of those things you set the tone right like this is for lack of a better term it's a dictatorship

i get to do whatever the fuck i want on that channel and that's the difference our moderators hate me so but but i set my mods and i can demote any mod I don't like. I can't do that. Yeah. They demoted me. It's a very inverse system. It sounds like you set up the relationship you want. You're the bottom in that relationship. I don't know why.

That's fine. I don't know, man. Going forward, the longer I do it, though, the more it becomes clear that some things will drive me nuts and some things won't. I don't want those things part of this channel. It's like everything else in my life. If you don't proactively go after it, it's not going to end up that way. You just wait for it to fucking happen. It never happens, ever.

Do you get caught up in your numbers? If you're not growing month over month, how do you manage that? What do you think? Ups and downs emotionally for that in part but also uh you you know you try to get the perspective right like for me as a variety streamer like i just had a i just came off a couple months of battle brothers which is a big thing on my channel so i'm hitting like you know 14 1500 viewers and channel concurrently regularly for that during that it is great and now i'm playing another game that isn't battle brothers and i'm hitting 300 400

concurrent viewers and you're right it's a, it's a big up for that moment. And it's a big down when you come off of that. And like last year was a shitty year for me. So financially last year was the worst year I've had in a couple of years. And again, like you look at that at some point, you set your exit structure. You go, okay, if I can't hit this, I'm going to leave kind of deal. But otherwise you ride it out, right? Because what else do you do for that?

So you didn't fall into playing Battle Brothers forever? I get the game right, I hope. I can't. I just cannot emotionally do that. You can, you just won't be happy. Well, but that's the trade-off, right? It's like, where are my boundaries drawn for that? Like, what am I willing to put up with that?

And it turns out, not surprisingly, being who I am, there's a pretty finite limit to what I'm willing to put up with that so i'll come back to it when there's good content when new dlc's released that when it makes the game fresh and alive enough for me i'll do it and i probably do it a little bit longer than i would do it on my own if i was playing on my own time kind of deal because you're right the numbers are driving that but i can't if i do that indefinitely i drive myself insane, and I would rather be doing something else if that's the case. It just isn't worth it for me. Yeah.

Because I think a lot of content creators stick with the game after they're done with it. I would suspect most of the people playing Escape from Tarkov right now aren't in love with the game right now. Oh, how could you be? Yeah. How could you still be? Right?

So they're just going to work every day suffering. And they might like it at the beginning of a wipe. They might like it when there's a new map for some short period of time. And then... I mean, granted, they have more fun than we do. Because they're better than us. So I could imagine... I don't agree.

Let me lay out my case. Okay. If you're twice as good as me, you are only happy if you do at least twice as well as me. I've been good at games and like, oh, fuck.

A 5KD that game? I mean, that's good, but it doesn't get me what I need. I'm not uploading a 25 and 5 game. Well, I would, but fuck you. That's not what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to be getting these 30 and 2s, 50s and 2s.

So even a guy who's much better than me, I don't think he's having more fun. I think his standards are high. Well, I think we'll see. They've got a whole different... They're streaming it or whatever. So it's... I don't know.

I think Landmark just has way more fun than I do when i play that game like landmark goes in a raid kills two or three people gets out and he's like nothing happened there like that's not i'm looking i didn't clear but it's not i've experienced super hard with eve like you get this point of um every experience needed to be better than the one before and you run out of things you can do in a game you know you get up to you when i had a i have it on footage somewhere like i have it on my youtube somewhere i won a 10v1 and eve versus 10 players versus me a 10v1 in this game right and

it's a it's a strategy space game so it's not all fucking twitch reflexes kind of deal right right when this 10v1 how do you best that right you hit that kind of mark there and like if if all your experiences are only defined again by surpassing that mark then the higher and higher percentage of your experience is just not going to be that that's what i think happens do you agree with me like if you win a 4v1 now are you like well i mean that was good but thankfully i haven't played that game in a long time but yes that kind of thing happens this is part of why i think for me at least the way i engage with games at some point i've done it all in that game and even in multiplayer you get there multiplayer makes it a lot longer of an experience there's a lot more

fighting back there's a lot more adapting of the opponent but at some point you get to a point you go i've done it i've been there i've done that that's not interesting to me anymore that doesn't trigger the same interest in the game for me it doesn't make me finish the game put it down thinking about strategies and like live in that moment again it's time to move on and that not everyone needs to have fun at their job i kind of i think it's interesting i don't even know if it's good or bad it could probably be good that you are unwilling to not enjoy your job i think this job is a weird one for that because i and maybe it's in part because of size right like i'm not sitting here on some multi-million dollar channel right like i'm not sitting here where like every where

if i log into league of legends again today you know my sponsor comes up to me tomorrow and says hey for a two-hour slot we'll give you 50k or 100k or some ridiculous number right like i'm a much smaller channel than that so the i think there's probably it's probably you know it's what is your what is your cost what are you worth what is your buyout point and probably this has not reached that level in my career for that where it just feels like this one in particular i can't i don't fake well i'm just not good at that personality wise you know i think you're saying if the money was really big i would do it even though i didn't want to i think it's the other way too like how much are you pushing on that scale right so like for me the cost of change is a significant portion

of my viewers it's a chunk of money it's a big amount of money in my life but it's not the same pressure on the scale i think that some of these big content creators have if they change i think it's pressure at the bottom too like like i'm not talking about you and specifically here but if i'm barely scraping by i can't take a downward trend i have to do this i don't understand how those go ahead no no no but this isn't but this is i don't feel like i only have twitch as an option to do something it would be a pain in the ass to change my career like you know i would have to figure out i'd have to figure out what the fuck i wanted to do then i have to go back and do some degree of training for that in all likelihood you know even if it were a refresher on the stuff that i already have degrees in or whatnot but i don't feel trapped in twitch i'm not sitting here going like it's this

or nothing and perhaps that would be more of the case if that were true so for me part of this goes i'm doing this because it's something i chose and want to do and i want to keep shaping that experience and moving that experience better towards that but i could leave i could walk away from it if i had to right i see that's the difference i think so yeah uh shit i don't know i don't think i played minecraft longer i'm sorry, not Minecraft. Call of Duty longer than I wanted to. I think something better came along and crushed it for me. Probably played it more often than we wanted to at times. Yes, that's true.

That's true. Yeah, I remember I was playing free-for-alls, and I was in my chopper gunner trying to get the nuke. I was in the game chat talking to the guy, and I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to get this nuke. The last game, somebody killed me when I was in the chopper gunner like trying to get the nuke and uh i was in the game chat talking to the guy and i'm like yeah i'm trying to get this nuke the last game somebody killed me when i was in the chopper gun he's like oh for real like well get it buddy and like you'd see him like run out of his hiding spot and i like bow him down thank you so much so much because the previous game i had been you know somebody just found my body operating the thing and killed me and cut oh so to get the nuke but yeah it was there was a lot of times it's like god damn it

i just want to get this thing done i don't want to i don't want to play this game mode even i don't want to i want to play by myself i want to go like play with my friends and actually have fun at the game happens mid-session for me sometimes i'll be playing the game in mid-session i'll hit that wall and i'll be like i don't want to play this game anymore and and it's and it's for me it's nearly instantaneous and again i don't fake well so i i can maybe push it like through the end of that session if i'm lucky you know maybe i'll try something like i do a lot of um challenge runs or modded runs or community challenge this type of shit because i'm trying to make it interesting and fresh for me because at some point it won't.

Which game is this we're talking about right now? Oh, okay. So, like, you know, like I have a bunch of ages ago, the Darkest Dungeon Challenge runs with Battle Brothers. I've done challenge runs with different origins or self-restrictions or this type of stuff. Because at some point it just, I don't do well with the same again, like, inevitably. And some people seem to be fine with that. Like, I talked to a buddy of mine, Jorbs, who's a bigger bigger streamer than me who does slay the spire and has been doing slay the

spire for three or four years now that game's a great game i probably got 600 hours of content in it and he's probably he's probably over 5k hours on that right so that game for me it would be mind-numbing he described it as for him and who knows you know there could be some bullshit in here but maybe not too right he described it as a perfect game for him it's not about even the individual ports of the game parts of the game anymore he likes the chillness of it he likes the likes the way the mechanics are built likes the difference between the runs you know i couldn't do that so maybe there's some personality in there too but for me it's just like at some point i hit a wall in a game it's time to move on and if i don't i can keep doing the same mechanic almost forever as long as they give me like a new aesthetic to go along with it like i need new maps

and um and new places to explore and uh and just new shit to go along with it like with vermentide like we would just grind that game every fucking day and the only thing that got that got old it wasn't killing rats. That never got old. It was, I'm just really tired of this map. Like we played this map three times today. It's like, yeah, we've been playing it for eight fucking hours. That's the rotation. Like we played all the maps today.

It's a limiting of options for me. I don't want to do the same thing for the same reasons with the same outcomes repeatedly. You know, so like the games that have a lot of depth, what they've offered are lots of different ways to an objective right and this is why civ was so long on my channel for so such a long period of time because it's it's a free-for-all which was a really dynamic situation there's a lot of shit that changes with six players in there all human all of varying degrees of skill all of chasing different objectives which weren't always to win you know especially when you're playing with streamers so managing that and then a mechanic a game that was fairly complicated in terms of the

number of mechanics going on and the number of different things you could do in that game with also additional human modding right so that kept that game lively for me for a long time like single player civ i never even liked fucking single player civ you know i have like maybe like five or six like full runs on youtube of single player civ and that's it that's about all i could stand in that game for single player because it wasn't it wasn't the path to victory was so linear and so one-dimensional so when i hit yeah yeah there's lots of ways to win in civ 5 the higher the difficulty which is inevitably what your audience wants to see so god forbid like i get some battle brothers push back on this god forbid you play anything except the highest

difficulty on all of the settings for that which is fine except when the game isn't fucking balanced for that right when you when it becomes a lot of times games when you put pressure on them of uh and sometimes you see this in single player but a lot of times in multiplayer but certainly single player when you turn up the difficulty if the difficulty gets really really really high a lot of times a multiplayer, but certainly single player. When you turn up the difficulty, if the difficulty gets really, really, really high, a lot of times what happens is the route to victory shrinks and shrinks and shrinks to a very, very straight path. And what is it?

Super boring. How do you, it's population for science, small traditions. You don't piss off a bunch of AI population for science. Science gets you to space. Space is your cheapest victory, quickest victory to get out of there.

That's the basic summary for that okay so you don't want to grind against the ai and the never-ending war forever no especially when the ai has stacked production like they have a bunch of cheater bonuses right their stuff costs less you know it doesn't it's not as impactful they start ahead you're always behind to begin with that's part of the difficulty i guess yeah yeah yeah so players is more interesting because you start on flat foot you know you start on a flat footing with everybody so now what especially like free for alls you know like these free for all guilty he's a streamer yeah that's certainly a part of it so how do you set up a game where like i'm not playing optimally if i'm playing

single player i play differently when i play multiplayer multiplayer is a lot about surviving the stupidity of the people around me or at least the yeah so which was funny because we kyle and i played a game one time uh and so uh i streamed this right and i think there were and it was a bunch of pka fans in there and it was like and like my audience is like oh kyle's just getting away with like having everyone attack you and you're like acting like he's friendly with you and i'm like i know this is happening but i can't do anything about it if four people are stupid enough to throw their game into attacking me and he's going to sit back and win on that, all I can do is make, you know, I can attempt to make them see the light.

They don't see the light. I'm fucked. So be it. You know, I'll spend them off and kill a billion units. You're never going to convince them that like, dude, dude, I know you've put everything into those catapults, but it's not worth it. Yeah. It's like, it's like what you really mean is like, you should quit.

You should quit. You fucked up. up yeah yeah so yeah but i do think about that a lot last year has been really a shitty year for me um streaming wise so like it's been in my head a lot about what do you do with that what do you do with the highs of streaming we do with the lows of streaming you know and and i like there's not a clean answer right you can buffer it a little bit you know you can you can it's like everything else in life you build a support network of other things so you don't you don't put all of your personality and all of your life into that because if that's your only dimension that matters to you you're fucked when that tanks right if that has a dip all your ego goes with that all your personality construct goes with that right so true also i mean if it's anything like my twitch they're naturally draining right they're just there like when i play games

they try to trick me they try to get me back try to get me to read things that that you know you get you in trouble for reading out loud and uh you just do that all night every night you know six hours a couple times a week and after a while you're like yeah nah that's not my experience funnily it's and again i wonder if this channel like the channel culture like you know you you run in addition to your twitch you do pka and pka has some of that element of it right i barely do twitch but yeah yeah yeah well sorry but to put any perspective you're not that's not your only thing that you're on the internet for and there's a different culture that comes along with the pka stuff you read the pka reddit it seems like the pka reddit really doesn't like pka very much i don't think they do which is a weird thing from a from a viewer base but you know for for my channel it's like fine

yeah i think so i don't know if i went to the Joe Rogan side, right, they'd rip him right now, too. But I don't want that shit. Like, I don't have to take it. I'm in a fucking dictatorship. Like, I literally can ban people for no reason whatsoever, except I don't want them there. You know, like, that's a pretty powerful tool for shaping the people you're interacting with. Right. Ban filthy for being here.

And it will drain the shit out of you, for sure. If every interaction is some guy trying to be a dick to you fuck yeah it's draining that's miserable long term right i made the internet kind of read only for me well in things that are about me you know i don't understand read only yeah oh i'm sorry this is a computer science file system thing you read write execute so i will i guess i i said it wrong. It's right. Only I create, that makes more sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't, I would read only help you. Yeah, it does. You're completely right. Uh, but you're like, I try to stay away from a lot of the things people say

about me because you can't make it better. You can't improve it. You know, you're not going to change the internet's mind. That's pretty rare. Just take it in small doses. Don't read it. I've been on this subreddit that's home gyms. Garage gym sucks. Whoever's running the garage gym subreddit, you need me to come in and fucking take your keys away,

bro, because your fucking subreddit blows. You're bad at your job. The home gym subreddit I look on there for inspiration and you know like oh you know maybe this lighting would be good or this flooring or like there's instances where maybe there's a little bit of gap between the flooring and the wall like the different things

people do for that I've been looking at and then this one guy's like almost done what do you guys think and I click it and this motherfucker has like a warehouse it's like he's legitimately got i'm gonna call it 3 000 fucking square feet of open square feet of open space what perfectly lit with industrial leds and he he has a different machine for every exercise. Forget adjusting anything. Everything is its own machine.

It's one tiny step below a commercial gym that you would go and pay a membership to. Did you see the owner? Not in that photo. I did not. Does he look like Jujimufu or Mark Zuckerberg? Yeah, you see that. There's a lot of YouTubers who are into this. I don't remember people's names, but there's a couple uh the the girls get you know they're both fit the girls got big old fat ass and and the dude's nice are they kind of funny and they're downstairs and they have wood

in the walls there's one part where um i think he told her to do proper bench press or something so she showed up in like a cocktail dress like like like like like like she wanted to dress properly for oh jesus and since she's like benching like like in this like nice like i don't know like a bridesmaid type like like fancy dress anyway um sounds people like it really is um yeah and uh big ass and so like i've noticed that people like that who are like that's their living that's a youtube channel or whatever they'll have those kick-ass crazy gyms that where they've like they've got a big shed out back sheds the wrong building they've got a facility in their backyard with like either peaked roofs or just flat like a regular gym and they've got

everything and i don't think those companies really sponsor like i don't think titan like hooks people up with free gear um it doesn't seem like that very much i think maybe with a bit i bet coop gets a ton of free shit but i i bet that doesn't sprinkle down to everybody i i would tend to agree i i hear the buildings you describe like juju mufu's building right yeah now he is is so good and so extreme i'll say it's better than mine but if you were to take that dial it back a bit and give it shitty hvac i'd take my room instead i i value that fucking air conditioner as much as any other piece in the gym yeah the first thing i'm gonna do uh is insulate i think this uh this place has

insulated garage doors so i'm already a step ahead there. Do you have a place picked out already? I've already got the place. I'm moving very soon. Have you said on the show what state that is? No, not necessarily. Just moving on up. Anyway, that's insulated, and i'm going to find a way to

refrigerate it i don't know what that's going to involve i need to look at the place a little bit more carefully because i didn't give a shit about anything i just i was like what i needed to know what the garage looked like what the kitchen looked like what the bathroom looked like and the bedroom that i was going to be like sleeping in and i like i don't really care about anything else so it looks like it's gonna be perfect though i just need to get it refrigerated you've got some kind of crazy air conditioner right like what's that just a mini split yeah they're pretty common now they're you probably know what a mini split is and little thing outside pops through the wall it's maybe a high-end like window unit type thing but it goes installed in the wall

and it's like right now what i do, an hour before I'm going to work out, I open the door to the garage and I literally put a squirrel fan over there that blows the air from the garage into the house to circulate it. I use the house to cool it down. That works well enough so that I don't get sweaty

out there, but I would like it to be cold. Yeah. Sometimes it's like, I haven't get sweaty out there, but I would like it to be cold. Yeah. You know, people are like, sometimes it's like, Oh, I haven't showered yet today. And like,

but you worked out, you must be gross. No, no, it was 67 degrees in my gym. I have a hard time working out without breaking a sweat. I, I,

well, you're working hard. Perhaps. I just spend my time in the gym. No, I'm looking forward to being able to buy the rest of my equipment because obviously I don't want to buy stuff and then have to move it. I do weird fucking hygiene stuff with this jujitsu. I'm like showering before going.

Yeah, good. Because you spend like about half my time is directly underneath someone and maybe like a tenth of that time is like moves where they're like straddling my head and i'm like i don't i don't want to be in the position where i've got like real fucking like i haven't bathed my balls in like three weeks and i've been doing a lot of sweating and i'm just like plop down on this guy's head it feels really rude how many do you have i have i have one we're going to two soon though uh-huh it's a lot of washing we we wash it once a week we wash it on friday so that i go you don't wash your gi between classes fuck no oh kidding me i wash my gi between every class

i don't wash gi i i bathe before going to jiu-jitsu i don't watch so i did so i thought currently it's white with blood marks all over it so i don't think there's a way to wear a gi without feeling pretentious for me personally yeah i don't like it either but but um but it's it i don't know it's like it'd be like it'd be like if you were taking like cooking classes and you put one of them cartoon ass boyardee motherfucker on your head you're like my internalization of the gi is that because i'm like this thing sucks and like and because of course also like as someone who's never i've never done anything like this organized before you're not a younger brother but that was when i was fucking like 14 or something you know we'd be wrestling kind of deal not like you know i've never done like high school wrestling never done call it any of this

shit right so it's really weird to have the gi used as something to control my movements and it really throws you the fuck off too so mentally kyle to your point i now internalize the gi as it's like training with a backpack full of fucking rocks right like it's a strong like cord or belt around me that people can use for purchase that fucks up all my stuff but it's only going to make me stronger having gotten used to dealing with that bullshit while it's happening that's how i internalize that because i hate it too so i i the place that i trained at was was no gi and uh and that just seemed to me like first of all i didn't have to buy anything i liked that because i always feel like martial arts places are often a scam to sell you equipment anyway like they just want to sell you some fucking

i remember i took karate as a kid and i remember the whole outfit that i had to put on you know there was the head gear and the gloves and i think there was there was definitely like foot patty things and of course now we need a fucking punch there was a whole bunch of shit we bought and i think i went like two karate classes ever like i did not learn karate let's put it that way structures like that too right like for at least this place it's kind of like it has the standard gym structure kind of stuff right like tell them ahead of time if you're going to cancel otherwise it's a monthly recurring the prices are kind of like pay more if you pay more up front for longer it's a lower rate per

month kind of deal so i do get some of that vibe but like i'm kind of interested in this i've been enjoying it i i i'm i don't like the injuries like i'm coming out with too many injuries over time and it's impacting my ability to go back i don't really mind being the bitch of this for a while like i can take that for a while right like but i like the it's been it's been a nice replacement for climbing for me it's been is a bit i can see how later the intellect will be involved in this right like i'll be thinking about this the moment it's kind of like i'm in this position i know what position it is i have no fucking idea what to do and i'm screwed you know but like later on it will be like i'll get that that moment and i'll and presumably i'll have some thought well i can attack this here i can try to move here i can try to transition to that i like that idea from it you know while being physical

so you should take up boxing instead and then maybe you could fight a Twitch streamer next year. It would be good for my channel, but I'm not so sure I wish to be struck repeatedly. It's bad enough being choked. If he likes his intellect, let's take it from him. Let's get him into boxing. Boxing is the thinking man's

thing. At first. And then it hopefully gets instinctive before you lose the ability to think. I can't believe Harley. I still can't believe Harley did that thing. He did fantastic. He really did. Although he's so much goddamn bigger.

What did you expect, right? I feel like coming away from it, I was like, alright. He managed to somehow not make a negative of this at all. It's all positives. And he a negative of this at all. It's all positives. And he didn't look bad at all. It's real hard for someone

who's not a boxer and not an athlete to be told to get shirtless in a ring and fight somebody. I like that he called out Dr. Disrespect. Now he's calling him Dr. Mr. Dr. Disrespect because he's ducking him. But he intentionally called out

someone who wouldn't say yes of course like me calling out Barack Obama yeah he's not gonna be in the ring no of course not no that was the whole point of it I don't think he wants to fight anybody else I don't think he wants to be a fighter um but that was cool he has another guy lined up he didn't tell me who but remember he said it he mentioned something about that yeah or said that he had an offer at least uh something like that um no that was really great um i'm glad that they stopped it for he hurt that guy because i feel like he could have if it kept going who's the big guy that um taylor loves so much the comedian who trained him. Oh. Fucking Officer Maggot. It's slipping my mind.

I can't think of his name. I can't remember his name either. In any case, Sam Hyde. Thank you, Zach. So Sam Hyde, they say, is going to be in the next one. That's what Harley said. That's really interesting to me. Plus, I genuinely believe that Idubbs doesn't like Sam Hyde. They're kind of enemies.

Yeah. Is Idubbs going to set Sam Hyde up with a position where it's very hard to win? You get Mike Tyson. Well, he's not going to get Mike Tyson. I don't know who from that streaming or YouTube-ish I don't know who they're going to draw from that is scarier to me than Sam Hyde

I hear you I don't know either Are they going to get Derek to go fight him? What are they going to do? Derek would be scarier Derek's big too, right? Derek's so scary Derek vs. Sam Hyde I'd pay for that I'd buy that pay-per-view and Derek's big too right there's like six five Derek's so scary Derek versus Sam hi god

I'd pay for that yeah buy that pay-per-view yeah yeah let's get on with it I'm sure Derek will be totally natty for this Derek would not at all get back to his old routine

oh man I'll take one in on so much EPO. He'd have his genius podcasting friends put together some crazy cocktail that would make the Russians blush. They've got Derek's entire blood supply in a centrifuge somewhere.

It's being hyper-oxygenated. He's just dumping jacks. It never wears out. He's sleeping on kidney dialated. Doping jacks. Never wears out. He's sleeping on kidney dialysis. Doping for this. Yeah, no, that's the only person that would pop into my mind that's even like, I wouldn't consider it the same community by any means, but like a gigantic strong person.

Because, man, Sam is so big and scary. Yes. And crazy, too. I think that's part of it. He seems like he likes to hurt people or at least likes to box. And I don't know. You phrased it well because that I was thinking of is Derek's weakness. He's really not crazy.

He's not insane at all. He's kind of rational. I bet right now he's like, would you guys just stop talking? I don't want to fight anyone. I'm making a trillion a year on Gorilla Mind. You think that I want to get into a ring? Speaking of that, pick up your lock and load over on Gorilla Mind, okay? Big sale.

What, 10% probably? I mean, it's a bargain at any price. People are saying that. That's true. How's the feedback? You're getting testimony. You're milky. Thick and durable. The feedback is very, very positive

and oftentimes hilarious. The feedback's great. We didn't need those samples, but we appreciate some nonetheless. But they'll get right to the lab. The lab is Taylor, I believe. They tasted awful. Oh, God.

No, apparently it's really catching on. I went to a sex shop the other day and I saw their bullshit pills. I just kept thinking, I wish we were in here. I know it's not like more, there's not a lot of money to be made to be on that shelf and that sex shop. But like, there's a bit of like legitimacy that I would feel like I've made it if my pills were over there on the shelf, right next to the poppers

and the, and the butt plugs. I would like that. And Kyle, you haven't had much of any sort of career before this, right? Like that would really be a benchmark in your life. Yeah. This would be it. This would be a high point. I tell my dad about, I already told my dad about the cum pills. I don't think I told him I was in the jizz biz per se. I tell everyone I'm in the cum pill. I tell them I'm a jizz biz mogul.

It's what I ended with. I tell them actually, I've told this story a lot. It ends with, you are in the presence of a Jizzbiz mogul. Yeah, I'm a pre-cum pioneer. We're getting after it over here. We're very cutting

edge stuff. See, it's great on so many levels. For one thing, we made the label just silly enough that it makes a good gag gift. Even if you're not literally trying to make your loads bigger, if you just think it's a funny gift gift so like even if you're not literally trying to make your loads bigger if you just think it's a funny like gift to give your dad it is uh so i see a lot of people buying them like that especially at christmas people will buy like 15 bottles and uh

and send them to everybody but um a lot of people are just like blown away by the fact that they come so much now that it's shocking and funny i find it to be mentally addictive like the internet right it's not literally addictive but like the idea of just shooting regular person loads is not cool to me no no i wouldn't want to be demoted i wouldn't feel like an american it's still sold out what was that when does he get back on the shelves don't want to blow sold out what was the quite we're sold out of lock and load yeah what was that run what is this selling out like there was like one bottle that's what is this what is it was a 20 000 bottle run 20 000 bottles of that sold out well the first run was 10 000 bottles and it sold out too.

So we did 20,000 next time around. They say end of May it will come back, so it should be any day. My God. You get a sense of it from that, don't you? Well, we're the Jizz Biz, boys, so stock up while you can. We're the top of the Jizz Biz. Which will be at the end of May. No, it's uh it's fantastic product i tell everybody

like like in my personal life i'm like this stuff works like like it actually does and no you can't have any i don't know how to give you a code i don't know how to facilitate that i probably should but uh i didn't say i was good at the jizz biz i just said i was in it i mean every guest should be getting like a care package with like a bottle of pills and on this show how many fucking times now and i haven't had a bottle of this yet what is nobody again like i'm telling you look i'm gonna put that in next time hey filthy do you want to be on the show i'll be like hold your hand out you know what i mean like i can't like if you want me to go any harder than that then like you're asking for a lot i the plates are expired on my car

like i have may 9th is my birthday kyle i would never have thought you were competent enough to do this i will talk to you next time. Chess doesn't know how to get you lock and load. You got to talk to me. I could be a pain in the ass next time he wants me on. I'm the ambassador of cum over here, okay? I am the gateway. I could probably make it happen if you really do want some.

The way to do that would be to send an email. I was so angry as a child. As a child masturb masturbating i was so fucking angry when i started coming like it was so much worse for cleanup than masturbating pre pre-cum so i'm i don't know like is this something is this an upgrade it sounds kind of like a downgrade well you're masturbated before you could orgasm no i get orgasm but it's before that your body was old enough to produce ejaculate i didn't know about this i did as well yeah and it was a fucking pain in the ass going towards making a mess before not going to make it a mess so i didn't mind i was like i'm a big boy now yeah Yeah, I didn't like it. I knew what it was, but didn't like it. And it was like, at first, it was like literally a drop of cum. Hmm.

Yeah. And look at us today. Over 10 milliliters per load. That's right. Not over. It's literally nine and a half milliliters per load. You don't even understand. I know we're Americans, so that's not like reaching across

the table maybe right let me see if i've got a syringe handy anywhere yeah yeah i do i do i do of course you have a syringe handy in arm's reach of the camera like one of these full is three milliliters we're talking about three times three times this okay wow that's that's quality load it's an enormous load why would you want to do less than that have i ever told you do you know how it's not even for sale do you know how i got the measurement filthy no no do i want to know i masturbated into a condom so the answer was no and then i held the condom like this you know and i i stuck the the syringe in and i drew out the cum until i had three milliliters and then i disposed of it because that's disgusting hopefully you did this on camera and this is part of the promotional material no no no no it seems like you could have come directly into a graduated cylinder

that's it that's a live stream that i do but but that's not and and i drew out over nine milliliters of semen seminal fluid um so so and and before that i was much less i believe we were talking about like less than half that or something like that i was much less i believe we were talking about like less than half that or something like that i i've forgotten the exact numbers i didn't i really just remember the final product being overwhelming and that was on prototype lock and load that's not a disclaimer it's like you don't want to drown your for your partner the first time you go you know they go down on you right like it's like a new partner. They're over your place and they're surprised. And then it keeps coming. We highly recommend

with the strongest of language that you do not exceed the nine pill per day dosage. Okay? It's very important. Very important. It seems like a balanced... Do not exceed nine capsules in any 24-hour period. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Okay? Really don't do it hour period. Don't do it. Don't do it. Really don't do it though. Don't do it. Don't. It doesn't help. Nine is good. Nine is where you want to be. That's a sweet spot right there. All right. That's probably enough of that cum talk. Never enough.

Filthy anything you want to pimp? Tell people about? Do you have any cum pills that you want to tellimp tell people about do you have any comp bills that you want to i haven't got into that business yet i'm still doing the gaming stuff maybe it transitions naturally i don't know i'm looking forward to it one way or the other so how about filthy robot plugs that's right it'd be shaped like my fist right you could literally do that let me know if you want in yes i. I only need you for your name. That's fair. That's fair.

All right. Catch me on another downturn. I'm sure I'll be in. PKA 597.