Painkiller Already - PKA 602 W/ Matt Farah: Kyle Moves, Matt’s Mental Health

Starting point is 00:00:00 a.k.a. the Smoking Tire Taylor. This episode of PKA brought to you by Lucy, Lock and Load, and once again our friends over at Death by Gummy Bears. Death by Gummy Bears. We'll hear more about all three of them later. Matt, thank you so much for being patient through our tech issues in the beginning. As you know, Kyle just moved, so it's always a bitch getting internet to work. I only look patient.

Starting point is 00:00:22 On the inside, I'm very angry. Fuming. The Smoking Farah. internet to work i only look patient and the inside i'm very angry fuming smoking farah what's going on guys thank you for having me back it's always it's always a good time yeah i i saw you on the uh upcoming guest list and i thought that'll be an easy episode oh i fucked i did did they tell you about my fuck up i thought it was like i thought it was tuesday but it was actually supposed to be for july 20 july 28th not june 28th and then they were like oh actually we have an opening on thursday and i was like all right i'll fucking just do that nice there you go yeah hey i've been looking at the racetracks behind you wondering what they are i'm not cool enough to identify what's what so in the center they're not first off they're not to scale right the middle is the nurburg ring which you've probably heard of before that was

Starting point is 00:01:12 west virginia and it's also south carolina yeah uh no the middle is the nurburg ring and you could fit the two outer tracks and probably five more tracks inside of the middle one um in reality and then the one here uh over my left shoulder is road america in wisconsin which is my my favorite racetrack it's great great great track and you could hit in a fast car you can hit 150 miles an hour three times on that track. It's really cool. I see the three. And then the tighter one over this side is Monticello Motor Club in New York, which is a private racetrack

Starting point is 00:01:53 that I used to belong to when I was living in New York. The company that makes those is called Linear Edge, and they're actually made of wood. It's layered plywood. It's very cool. This is Nikki, my girl. Hi, Nikki. Welcome to the show. Show them your butthole. edge and they're actually made of like wood it's like the layered plywood is very cool this is this is nikki uh my girl nikki hi nikki welcome to the show show your show me your butthole there's nice

Starting point is 00:02:10 i was there she goes yep yeah not long no local no local california tracks i don't have a any particular attachment to the my local california tracks but there are that one on the far right are far right looking at you the straight one that you can hit 153 times, that looks like the easiest of those three by far, is it? Well, it has its own challenges. There's a lot of elevation there. It's very, very fast. It's a really fast track, and it's definitely challenging.

Starting point is 00:02:46 It's definitely a challenging track, but it rules. I have a question. Yes. It's totally unrelated. Maybe I cut you off where you were headed. No, I was done. I'm an everyday carry, right? Usually it's about knives and keychains and shit like that.

Starting point is 00:02:59 What watch are you wearing? I'm always curious. This is a fun one, actually. This is one of my cheaper watches and i'm not i'm a watch nerd but i'm not a watch snob so i have cheap watches and i have some expensive watches too this one is a seiko that has an arabic dial so it's like it's like not even two hundred dollars but it's but the numbers are all in Arabic. This is the date?

Starting point is 00:03:28 Oh, I'm looking at the numbers now. I see. The actual numbers are in Arabic. I like how nine is the same. Kind of. Yeah, it's similar. Nine and 11 are the same. It's the same as other watches that don't have trees. I'm going to be honest.

Starting point is 00:03:40 I always thought that Arabic numerals were the numerals that we used. I thought they were the same. You know what? Kyle is actually right. Technically, this would be called Eastern Arabic. I said it wrong. Arabic numerals are what we use. Eastern Arabic is like from Syria.

Starting point is 00:03:57 I appreciate the clarification. Was it the numbers, the face on it? It was actually the numerals. Yeah, that's what did it for me. Normally, if you want to get a luxury watch with Eastern Arabic numbers, it's really, really expensive. There's only one Rolex that has them, and it's platinum day-date. It's $90,000. There's very few watches that you can buy um no that actually surprised

Starting point is 00:04:26 that actually surprised oh in america is a good qualification because i would think with all that oil money in the middle east that that would be like no no put it in the eastern numbers yeah yeah yeah and diamonds yeah yeah that too if you go if you go to Dubai or Saudi or somewhere like that, you probably have a better selection. But they're tough to come by. And so when I found this, and it was $200, I was like, literally, I bought it on Amazon. And I put this kind of khaki canvas bracelet on it

Starting point is 00:05:00 because it came with a pretty cheap, shitty bracelet. And you kind of class up the joint a little with that. This is one of my cheaper watches, but I really like wearing it. It's a fun one. I like Woody's watch. There you go. Diamond. There's a diamond and gold 36 millimeter Day-Date.

Starting point is 00:05:17 This watch has an aftermarket diamond dial. If that was made from the factory like that it would probably be fifty thousand dollars not ten thousand dollars um aftermarket diamonds actually reduce the value of a rolex watch yeah zach yeah zach change the bezel to four carat oh wow yeah oh so you yeah this is like a this is like a build you can like optionally build see what you were you were right on the money by the way because like what we were initially

Starting point is 00:05:51 looking at was no diamonds at all and that diamonds it was 50 yeah that was no diamonds at all with a fluted bezel right like there's no diamond yeah yeah yeah but it went up by four well no yeah the regular, this whole deal is custom. The dial and everything like that. This watch, just with a regular dial, is probably $10,000 or $11,000 from Rolex. So you add some diamonds, and it's going to go up because this company is making this. But if you then go to sell it on the secondhand market it would be actually less so i don't know my taste in watches but i see that thing and i

Starting point is 00:06:31 it screams a little like nouveau riche look at me no shit yeah yeah yeah right like it's it's oozing diamonds. No shit. I don't know. A little gaudy for my... Seriously. I'm pro-gaudy in many cases. A little gauche. But that one, I was like, the fuck even? I have too much class for that watch. There are wealthier people with less gaudy watch.

Starting point is 00:06:59 I can't say gaudy. Someone who's a really old money rich guy is gonna be wearing a rolex daytona in steel that's like that's your straight up super rich guy you know subtle flex um if it's if it's someone uh you know like john mayer is like a known watch collector and he's got a lot of the really crazy stuff like the Rainbow Daytona which has a rainbow of diamonds around the corner of it. That's about as

Starting point is 00:07:32 gaudy as you get from the factory is the reality. Oh boy! Look at that! That's almost, that's just as gaudy. What company is this? They should hire me because I have more class than they do. The last two you've shown, I wouldn't take for free. This is some company in New York that's modifying these watches.

Starting point is 00:07:51 There's nothing wrong with this except the rainbow thing is bullshit. That makes the jewels look cheap as shit. Now that I see the whole face is diamonds, never mind. Yeah, there's a lot. When I sold cars, the management, it worked so many hours that they spent their money on jewelry. And they all had like silver day dates and day justs with like just diamonds around the outside really subtly. But then I had a finance manager that had a necklace getting away from watches a little bit, but still jewelry. And it was that bike chain type of necklace. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:29 But a big-ass diamond, and every link had a diamond. It was an $80,000 chain. Dude, if I went to a dealership and the finance manager was wearing a chain like that, I'd be like, I am getting robbed in this bitch. I'm just out of here. I only go to dealerships where they will diamond grills. If there's no grill going on, if you aren't encrusted with diamonds.

Starting point is 00:08:52 I have the same rule for dentists. They have to have diamond grills. Dude, you ought to talk some consumer advice. Never get financing from a guy wearing that kind of chain. It's your interest money that pays for that chain. You don't need to sign on the line. He's got five rings on.

Starting point is 00:09:13 One on each finger, one of those guys. We all know the YouTube algorithm. Everyone knows the social media algorithms at this point. YouTube figured out I like everyday carry videos about knives and wallets and shit like that so then it started pumping watch videos at me yeah and now i'm like contemplating watch purchases that would hurt my family i'm like i shouldn't do this but oh look at it i have a watch your

Starting point is 00:09:38 family i can get you i get good price for you my friend friend. Very good price. Homies at Bob's Watches, they got you, dude. I'm like, my watch has been great. It's very durable. It's functional. I need an altimeter watch because I do this stupid hobby. We're flying lawn chairs. And I've dragged it across every brick and concrete surface in the house, and it's held up well.

Starting point is 00:10:01 That's something that I value. But, God, if i look at it under a microscope it won't hold up like these other watches too dude the watch the watch fucking fomo is is crazy it's uh instagram and and all because on on instagram a house a car and a watch are all the same size you know you know what i mean like it really like it's it it's something about that two by two square you know that really makes you pay so much more attention to small things than you ever fucking would in the in the real world right and who are you trying to impress because if you're other people on instagram yeah like if

Starting point is 00:10:45 it's not a rolex yeah then i would argue that 85 of the people you're trying to impress 95 don't even know to be impressed oh for sure for sure there's i mean there's it's higher than that it's higher than that it's probably i like watches but i like watches but i probably won't recognize your brightling if you have one i'll be like oh that looks shiny but i won't know if it's higher than that it's probably i like watches but i like watches but i probably won't recognize your brightling if you have one i'll be like oh that looks shiny but i won't know if it's 330,000 dude there's shit you could buy i'm into watches a little dollars that that they wouldn't they'd give you 50 for in fucking chinatown like there's stuff you could buy like a like a like a like a rod, a George Daniels watch or a Roger W. Smith watch like that just doesn't look like anything. I mean, are those like nothing?

Starting point is 00:11:34 Are those like small boutique like? Yeah, like there's like like make 30 of them in the world. Yeah, like they're like this one guy and they're literally a million dollars. And it's and and you could you take it to Christie's, you know, and it's like you have to be pre-approved to bid on some shit like that. You know, it's like really, really, really end of the line for watch collecting. But you wear something like that around, and.0001% of the population knows what you're wearing. When you mentioned, when you were like, oh, the subtle flex, whoever said,

Starting point is 00:12:11 the Rolex Daytona steel. I was like, I know nothing about watches, less than any of you. And I looked it up, $32,000. I would not look twice at this. If I saw someone with this on their wrist, I would assume it was a normal run-of-the-mill watch. There's nothing at all flashy or special about it.

Starting point is 00:12:31 I just don't get it. If you're going to spend $32,000, you want a little bit of gaudy. Maybe. Maybe you do. I mean, for people that know a little bit, if you know absolutely nothing, then it's nothing. If you know just a little bit, like if you know absolutely nothing, then it's nothing.

Starting point is 00:12:46 If you know just a little bit, it's something. That's who you're flexing to. The people who know just enough about watches to know it's something. And the thing about Rolex is they're really, really well made. They make a lot of watches and they seem really expensive but like there's no watch on the planet that you can beat the shit out of harder than a than a rolex they are really really durable they've they make their own metals they have their own metal alloys um called oyster steel and their rolls gore gold is calledor, which is really kind of a stupid name,

Starting point is 00:13:25 but they literally do make their own metals and they're designed to feel a certain way. They have this kind of softness in your hands, but then you could smack it against concrete and they're really, really durable. I've always been. It's interesting. I've always been shocked how scratch resistant they are.

Starting point is 00:13:42 Like just nice watches in general. What do you call the um the glass that covers everything the crystal yeah nice watches have a sapphire crystal it's it's actually made of sapphire and you can how hard is that really hard like as far like like smacking resistance is a little different than hardness like i'm thinking like scratch resistance because yeah you could take a metal tool and just like grind it on there and you won't scratch that my watch has a sapphire crystal and i i put it i'm hard on my shit right like and i've always been impressed that wings of redemption has like a 16 year old truck and in many ways it

Starting point is 00:14:17 looks kind of new right he just he takes care of that thing that not... He doesn't drive it a lot. Okay. I don't take care of my shit. I'm kind of hard... Everything I own looks pretty used in not a very long time. It just all gets rode hard and put away wet. And my crystal is perfect. Yeah. A Rolex would be good for you. That's exactly what I was going to say.

Starting point is 00:14:40 A Rolex is good for you. The Sapphire on my watch doesn't have a blemish on it and i like i would i was wearing it getting in and out of tanks and stuff and i can i can distinctively remember being in a fucking tank and banging it like the face onto like this sharp heavy it's a tank and thinking like oh i'm so scared to look and it not a blemish it's just i'm like i'm left-handed so i wear my watch on my right wrist which is a real problem for damage because like banisters on staircases and when you're walking against the

Starting point is 00:15:12 wall it's on your like i hit it against shit all the time just because i wear it on the hand that's close to that stuff most of the time and so i'm really really hard on on watches like that and i've never scratched a crystal ever. Yeah, I'm looking up the... So there's something called the Mohs Hardness Scale. Man, science is neat of how hard things are. Yeah. And apparently the hardest thing is a diamond. That's a 10.

Starting point is 00:15:37 Sure. It's a 1 to 10 system. Tremendous system. Love that. And the... Keep it simple. Sapphire crystal is a nine and by comparison a masonry drill bit is an eight and a half so if you try to use a masonry drill bit on your sapphire you're gonna

Starting point is 00:15:56 fuck up your masonry drill bit i have this in a box somewhere i had no idea sapphire glass i didn't know that was a thing i have masonry bits in a watch dare I no so there's some really there's a couple very high end watches that are really expensive and I'm talking like a hundred grand plus that have sapphire cases where the whole

Starting point is 00:16:18 case of the watch is made of sapphire and it's funny because they actually look yeah it's translucent but it's one of those things where you look at it and you go that's either really cheap or really expensive like you can't tell like i did a podcast with john oats my swatch is also see-through yeah yeah he was wearing like a watch called a hublot um which had a sapphire case and and you look at it and you go well that's either 50 bucks or 500 000 and and it was it was like a hundred thousand dollars so did they do

Starting point is 00:16:53 some sort of like uh cnc machining yeah that thing yes yeah they mill it they mill it from a block click inquire now no call now let's talk to him yeah that but that's that's basically what it is that's a yeah full sapphire can you get these things because i i i wasn't serious about $380,000 i know i know but i wasn't serious about pulling the trigger on like a 5k plus watch but i was looking into it they're not available but 380 buy a rolex no one has them in in stock anymore well you gotta so rolex is a very specific case rolex unlike a lot of the other watch companies is not public they're a private company they they have a couple things going on one is they're they're already rich as fuck so they don't need to

Starting point is 00:17:45 show any kind of growth to shareholders the way that a publicly traded company would have to they also overextended themselves in terms of retail footprint in the 90s and early 2000s they would have not just their own rolex stores but a a sort of kiosk inside of another watch store that sold multiple brands. They're actively trying to choke out their retailers so that they drop the retail Rolex license from these multi-brand stores, and they only have their Rolex boutiques. And they're doing that by just choking out the inventory. The other thing that they're doing is their watches that are, they have watches that are more profitable because they have gold and diamonds and shit in them.

Starting point is 00:18:36 And that's more profitable than a watch made of steel, but in a sort of perversion of luxury goods, the Rolex steel watches are in higher demand and so they artificially restrict production of the steel watches and they make you buy the golden diamond shit you know which is more profitable and then they'll call you when the steel one you know comes in and it's and so all of these and that also has the effect of pumping up the residual value of the used watches. Um, so there's, there's a few different things going on there, but basically they're cranking their own brand perceived value by artificially restricting

Starting point is 00:19:20 the supply. Whereas if you go into a Breitling store, an IWC store, an Omega store, they have tons of inventory, you know, and, and it's because they're publicly traded companies and they got to move units. Whereas a Rolex isn't like that, but for you, Woody, honestly, if you, if you did want to buy a Rolex, you know, the, the, a used one is really the choice you have, a used one is really the choice you have, but unlike a used car, you know, the one... That's a Richard Mille. That's just

Starting point is 00:19:50 insane. What time is it? What the fuck? What are you supposed to discern from this? 10.20, but it's pointed straight at the 10. It's like 10.20, but it seems like less is more, man. In theory, that watch has a bunch of functions, but it's like 10 20 but but it seems like less is more man in theory that has a bunch of like

Starting point is 00:20:06 functions but it's like impossible to read that's the ugliest watch of it well it is and the worst part is we all know sylvester salon is too richard mills should be put in jail for this here's how much yeah richard richard meal make, and technically it's Richard Millet, if you want to be real douchey about it. We call him Dick Mile. But they make so much money, they're sponsoring four Formula One teams. That's how much their margins are. We can't lose.

Starting point is 00:20:38 We just sponsor the top four teams. Every weekend, a Richard Mille driver wins. Most of the Richard Mille watches have this sort of curved case. A lot of the rappers wear them. There's a special Pharrell one. Actually, some of their watches have very cool functions. Some of them are designed. They're super light.

Starting point is 00:20:59 So you're not supposed to wear a mechanical watch while golfing or playing tennis or doing certain like high impact activities and richard mill watches are designed specifically like there's a bubble watson collab that's meant to be worn playing golf there's a rafael nadal uh collab that's designed to be worn while playing tennis and they do wear them while doing those activities they're fucking 500 grand those watches anytime in, you read about these, there's these real sensationalist stories that come up, especially in LA once in a while. And it's like, dude gets followed home

Starting point is 00:21:34 from Mastro's in Beverly Hills, you know, and jacked outside of his house for his watch, you know, that kind of thing. It's always a fucking Richard Mille, always. Because you can see them from across the street. They're so're so big and bright you can see them from so far away they're just walking by the restaurant going that guy making yourself a target yeah yeah that's that's the thing about that daytona like nobody's gonna follow you home right yeah but he's gonna and like anything that's all blinged out like that, like if you're going to wear that anywhere, like you're going to have to be prepared to fight for it or kill for it.

Starting point is 00:22:10 Somebody might try to like have that in your mind. Don't go into that like life of walking around with $50,000 on your wrist and thinking everybody's just going to be chill about it. Yeah. Yeah, no, for sure. I mean, and that's the stealth wealth right so you can you can wear something that's beautifully made and feels really cool and works really well and won't attract a fucking gangbanger that's walking across the street and see it and then there's a fucking gold richard meal that you can wear and everybody who sees you will be like that's the

Starting point is 00:22:43 guy i'm following home you know and jacking as soon as he gets out of his ferrari california t well i feel like those are based on what you guys have said those are so rare how would you even resell it like well they resell that too like if you try to get a bunch of money out russia you sell them internationally the same way you would sell sell stolen you know stolen cars you know it's a black market bitcoin fucking whatever those russian oil guys that fucking cheap that they're buying stolen that is no class they're billionaires just spring for it man just well we don't this they might be just junior millionaires and that was in rubles so they've got to get a stolen Range Rover

Starting point is 00:23:26 they can't import one god damn it if you're the proper oligarch you're probably getting the proper hook up if you're that guy's bodyguard then you get a crappy one whenever there's some kind of geopolitical thing happening

Starting point is 00:23:42 obviously we're all focused on this Ukraine war thing but but i i start thinking like what are what's going on behind the scenes with like just some rich guy in russia who wants his cool watch what kind of hoops and like hurdles is he sending some minion i want to watch a movie about the minion who gets sent to go get him his watch from america that's like operation odessa did we talk about that last time i was here operation odessa i don't think so i don't you've seen the documentary it's about these guys from miami who are getting russian uh or soviet military equipment for oh yeah the guy's name the guy's name was tarzan's name was Tarzan. Oh, you mentioned Tarzan before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah reason like i get better example than the watch like if you had the crown jewels of england

Starting point is 00:24:46 like in your kitchen right now those are worth billions on their own what would you even do yeah like who would you like you'd get caught in me like shave pieces off with what like and then i mean it doesn't even have to be the crown jewels like if you had a gold if you had a gold bar you could get rid of that if it's not stamped, I guess. Any kind of diamonds or jewels. Remember Reservoir Dogs? That's the first thing they asked when they said we're going to take down a diamond facility.

Starting point is 00:25:14 You've got a way to move the stones? That's the first question. Then what? Then we're going to enjoy how they look. Yeah. You just put them in a bowl in your entryway. The really high-end watches have serial numbers on them. They would be tough to move, certainly legitimately.

Starting point is 00:25:35 You're not selling a fucking Richard Mille legitimately if you've stolen it. But if you've got some kind of international black market, whatever, connection, But if you've got some kind of international black market, whatever, connection, there's definitely somebody somewhere shady that will happily give you 50% of market value for your sketchy stolen picture. Right now, rush is the ticket for those black market items. You find someone to buy those crown jewels from you. And Kyle, you mentioned a gold bar, if it was stamped, being hard. Couldn't you just remelt it? Yeah. Easy one-word answer.

Starting point is 00:26:09 Really easy workaround. Well, you just want to get that stamp off first so they don't see that. They see that swastika, they start making calls. You just got to buff it out, dude. This will buff right out. No problem. Just put my own name in it afterwards. I like those old history

Starting point is 00:26:24 documentaries. He likes old history documentaries. I actually knew that already. What do you like about them? You know, Kyle used to be this great storyteller and now he just begins sentences and doesn't finish them. All right.

Starting point is 00:26:42 Come back. You're back now. Two, back. We lost you. You're back now. One, two, three. Yes, you're good. I enjoy old history documentaries. I was watching something about Nazi gold toward the end of World War II when they started saying things weren't going to go so well.

Starting point is 00:26:59 They started hiding a lot of their loot and plunder, and they had stolen a lot of the gold from other countries when they invaded Poland and France and just re just re smelted it smelted and like stamped with the the nazi stuff i wonder if that's out there somewhere in some uh uh you know cave or some mine or something because just the other day i think off the coast of south america they found some pirate ship with some enormous amount of bullion on it like those i would would it be treasure hunter that's what i would not be gold yeah yeah finding nazi gold like would finding it with a swastika or like a iron cross or whatever that would make it more valuable probably because now

Starting point is 00:27:35 you got gold and it's old and historic my guess would be that they you could probably sell it to a rich nazi i think there's probably going to be... I think the country that you find it in is going to want to get their hands on that gold. I think there's different rules around the world for what treasure hunting is and what percentage you get to keep. That's pretty fucked up.

Starting point is 00:27:57 There shouldn't be rules saying treasure hunting. No, some guys found like 25 million of gold in a pirate wreck years back. And I always said, why didn't they just take it back home some guys found like 25 million of gold in a, like a pirate wrecks years back. And I always said like, why didn't they just take it back home and smelt it down and sell it? Instead, they like informed the government and the government took a substantial portion of it.

Starting point is 00:28:15 What an asshole. Yeah. Keep that. It's like finders, keepers rules. Absolutely. For if, if you can't apply finders,

Starting point is 00:28:21 keepers to see gold, then it doesn't exist anymore in 2020. I'm a bit of an amateur treasure hunter. That's Joe Biden's America. We can't get any sea gold anymore. I had a car. I ordered a Porsche, and it went down on a fucking boat. Did you guys hear about the publicity?

Starting point is 00:28:44 We watched it burn. Was I on your show since then that was in february so they are they are building me a new car and it should be here in a couple weeks which is great but but but i was contacted by a guy who claimed to be a commercial diver and wanted to organize some kind of expedition to go down to the boat, which is 3,000 meters of water, by the way. After a four-day

Starting point is 00:29:14 lithium fire, it went down a mile and a half, two miles almost, to the bottom of the ocean. And he sent me this email that was so bananas. And he sent me this email that was so bananas. And he wanted me to fund this expedition, by the way. A car I was not responsible for in any way.

Starting point is 00:29:33 I didn't pay anything for it. Didn't make the insurance claim. And he's like, what I need is $100,000 American dollars. And we will have 20 men, $1,000 per day per man, plus $15,000 for the ship fuel. And we will go 20 men, $1,000 per day per man, plus $15,000 for the ship fuel. And we will go down with lift bags, and we will bring up these supplies. And I'm like, dude, what are you going to bring up? A bunch of fucking melted steel and moldy-ass saltwater leather?

Starting point is 00:29:59 Like, there's nothing left. The remains of a crew member. Have you ever heard of um operation azorium if you may know what's that sounds fun that so a russian uh sub went down and we found it before they did and we didn't want to raise oh i think i do remember this now but we couldn't send the navy in to start recovery efforts because then the russian navy might show right up this is big standoff we're both trying to get the the sub we wanted to keep it secret that we'd found it so they got howard hughes the cia did the cia calls howard hughes and they're like we got a real caper we

Starting point is 00:30:34 want you to be part of we're gonna put down the bottle come help we're gonna pretend like you inexplicably built a ridiculous boat we're gonna say's yours, and we'll do a whole press tour, but really we're going to use this giant craft to secretly raise a Russian submarine from the bottom of the ocean. And Howard Hughes was like, deal, let's do it. And so they built this giant craft, and there was publicity about, oh, Howard Hughes with another one of his silly capers.

Starting point is 00:31:01 And meanwhile, they sit down those grappling arms or something yeah yeah the sub tour like a quarter of it fell off as they were bringing it up but they got three quarters of a secret nuclear russian submarine with all of its code books and armament and the materials that the outside of those things is made of is top secret. It was a real boom. Oh, that's cool. That's pretty embarrassing that we found it first. Yeah, one thing in there I would tell them immediately.

Starting point is 00:31:36 How is there not a movie about this? There's got to be a fucking movie, right? No? Someone call fucking James Cameron. He's ready to go on some shit like that. I think there's a good documentary called fucking james cameron he's like he's ready to go on some shit like that i think there's a good documentary i think it's a good documentary but man that's why i didn't do well i gotta find that ice station zebra i gotta see this oh so ice stations this is so so different kyle but oh my god me and woody were talking

Starting point is 00:32:04 and i was saying how The Thing, the John Carpenter movie, is probably my favorite horror thriller ever. The Thing is my number one. Is there anything similar to that you can think of? Because I would love a movie similar to The Thing, but I couldn't think of anything off the top of my head. Like that intense whodunit, they look like people. Oh, well, I mean, mean invasion of the body snatchers with um

Starting point is 00:32:28 donald sutherland the classic when he goes like like that whole thing you know i've seen that i liked that okay um i don't know with the i i like that um where you can't tell who's who and their bodies change. Like maybe Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel. No. There's shape-shifting in that. Yeah, I like Marvel. I skipped that. I was fucking...

Starting point is 00:32:58 No, I'm trying to think. I'm really struggling. No, I can't think of anything off the top of my head. There's a sequel that they made, a prequel rather, with Mary Winstead or whatever her name is, the chick with the nice ass from Fargo. There was a chick with a nice ass from Fargo? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:18 Oh, yeah. Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Google Mary Elizabeth Winstead ass. And Fargo. And Fargo. And then you'll get, like, she stands up in a bathtub to, like, distract an intruder. And, like, you see her butt. Yeah, it's real nice.

Starting point is 00:33:34 Oh, her. Oh, yeah. Right. Can we just mention real quick that Ice Station Zebra, the movie about that, this is the most 70s movie fucking ever, starring Rock Hudson, Ernest Borgnine, Patrick McGuhan, and

Starting point is 00:33:50 Jim Brown. That is some 70s-ass action right there. What's Jim Brown gonna do? What's he gonna do? I mean, he's dressed like a fucking Arctic sniper with goggles on and a long rifle in this particular...

Starting point is 00:34:05 Well, I don't know what that's going to have to do with getting the wrecked submarine, but... Well, in this logo here, in the top of the DVD cover, it shows a submarine with the front fucking schnoz missing. So you're spot on there with the front falling off. Yep. All right. How about that that you guys see top gun no i haven't seen it yet but i what i really want to i i've been moving you didn't see fucking top gun yet i've been moving haven't seen the first one week i haven't

Starting point is 00:34:40 been able to see it but i really know it was good it was good. I think Tom Cruise might have single-handedly just completely rejuvenated the United States film industry. I think so. Apparently it blew the pants off the other movies. Yeah. Well, it's not even that. It's his biggest movie ever.

Starting point is 00:35:02 Tom Cruise had his biggest movie ever this year. It did a billion yeah i was just saying like it came out at times with other movies that you would think would be big and i saw some chart and it's like not even any two movies put together that are out right now are sniffing like yeah what is it half of what they have 90 i don't need to go to a theater to see any of that shit but like but for this like i was like like, this is probably worth my time in the theater. And actually, if you've got access to an IMAX, it's worth that. It's worth spending the $25 on the IMAX ticket because it's pretty fucking boss.

Starting point is 00:35:37 I mean, did you see the Cinejet that they used to film all this stuff? No, I avoided. I saw one teaser two years ago where he was like going fast and it was his face. And I was like, all right, I'm going to watch that when it comes out. But I don't want to know anything. So I haven't watched. No, the Cinejet is the camera plane that they use to film the aerial stuff. And it's the fucking fighter jet with gimbals on it. It's the coolest camera rig ever invented in history.

Starting point is 00:36:07 And are we about to get a picture of the Cinejet? Yeah. I mean, it's the dopest shit ever. And actually, the Cinejet's Instagram account is pretty fire. I recommend following. But just, I mean, they managed to not fuck up the sequel-ness. You know, they made a coherent story that makes sense. You know, it could have been dumb and dumber, too.

Starting point is 00:36:35 You know, it could have been. But instead, it was a storyline that made sense with some subtle throwbacks to the original. storyline that made sense with some some subtle throwbacks uh to the original and i mean really it was just the aerial stuff was just far and away the best aerial flying scenes you know ever recorded it was really really cool and the actors you know because now they have imax cameras that are you know small they had multiple they had multiple camera angles inside of aircraft, so all the actors are actually in the planes doing fucking maneuvers while acting. It's pretty boss. I recommend. But what was interesting about it, about you said it's single-handedly saving the movie theaters, is that not only were there like 40 minutes of previews,

Starting point is 00:37:22 but there were advertisements for movie theaters in general. Like literally like go to the theater, like advertisements, like this movie is exclusively for needs to be seen on this, the big screen, like so many, so like three or four of them ads just for the concept of theaters that's how bad they're struggling no i like the theater i used to go all the time i don't remember which um one

Starting point is 00:37:52 i chose but i had some kind of a cinepass or something where i just paid some stupid huge amount of money for this card and then i got all the snacks and popcorn i ever wanted for free and i just walked in and just went to any movie i wanted. I used to go to three or four... I used to live near Butte for Georgia and they've got a really nice IMAX there at the Mall of Georgia. I would go to three or four or five a week. I would watch shit I didn't even want to see.

Starting point is 00:38:16 Between the pandemic and my probation, I haven't really done any... I haven't gone to the theaters in a long time. It was the fucking Avengers movie. that was the last time before i went to prison was the last time i i went to the movies does probation have some effect movie theaters somehow are you not allowed to go to movies so the thing is maybe you've already talked about this if you if you have it's just that while i was on probation i was trying to be so careful to not get any complicating charges i was really scared that i might get in a fight if i was

Starting point is 00:38:52 out in public or like like like anything you know like like when when you're waiting on a judge to decide between zero time and six months time and a fine of zero dollars to a to 50 000 man it would be great if you walked in there and you hadn't done shit for the last two years but be cool but if you go in there and they're like oh he actually got into a fray a fracas at the uh the the amc and he he beat up a a ticket terror oh well let's give him six months so So I was just so afraid. I literally hid. I was afraid to drive. I was going to get a speeding ticket or something. I was really afraid of getting into any kind of trouble.

Starting point is 00:39:33 That's crazy. I get it. That's crazy, though. I don't know what it's like to be like, well, I don't want to go to a movie theater because I might get into a fight with somebody. I can't relate to that. It's never happened. I've never been like, oh, I better not get into a fight with somebody i can't relate to that yeah it's never it's never happened i've never been like i better not get into a fight with someone today yeah okay if you have really different opinions about top gun in the lobby afterwards where you're like that was great and some guys like i'm gonna i hate tom cruise so much something could go wrong i uh i finally got all of my shit moved today it has been yes finally so

Starting point is 00:40:08 so i procrastinated and i moved my entire house in two days by myself with no help and it might be the greatest achievement that i have ever done I moved tens of thousands of pounds of shit in the last two days. Proud of you. That entire gym. I couldn't have done this before I started on TRT and started pumping iron.

Starting point is 00:40:37 Old Kyle would have died yesterday. I moved a whole gym. Like 1,500 pounds of steel alone. Like just weight plates. 1,500 pounds of steel alone like just weight plates 1500 pounds of weight plates an entire like power tech like trainer machine like squat rack

Starting point is 00:40:54 barbells and then my whole goddamn house right like multiple bedrooms couches you ever moved an 85 inch fucking TV by yourself I don't know how you could do that actually i literally like a man i'm doing that in college and had to have surgery it was fucked up yeah one of those big old cabinet tvs with like wood grain yeah the way three thousand pounds yeah the free flat screen era later i'm gonna pick up this tv that's to my left and i'm gonna stand on some scales with it

Starting point is 00:41:25 because it's so heavy that it hurts my fingers to hold it like it isn't like an old boob tube crt tv it's it's a 1080p flat screen that's 72 inches so it's about this thick it's not you know now they're like a fucking card they're like a piece of cardboard thick yeah they cost more like just go buy a new dude a new tv is like 180 right now those tvs are literally not worth the material it's the only thing that's priced reasonably right now first of all the first of all you're 100 right tvs have shockingly continued to like in value. But the thing is, I bought this TV for $6,000 eight years ago. There's nothing wrong with it. And it is not my primary TV. I'm going to hang it on the wall of my office and have CNN playing in the background on it.

Starting point is 00:42:16 It's not a primary TV. It's not even my bedroom TV. It's my fourth TV. But I can't bring myself. You can't get rid of it. I can't throw it away. You need that price value. I paid $6 thousand dollars for it yeah that is a wild total for a tv dude my parents we my parents have a vacation house that we built in 2002 we finished in south carolina

Starting point is 00:42:40 and uh one of the things they got this this is a nice house. It's not completely, it's not totally extravagant, but it's nice. But one of the things they got was the very first plasma, the very, it was, it was any, any C like the computer monitor company made it. It wasn't even made by like Sony.

Starting point is 00:42:58 It was any C it wouldn't. And it was the 60 inch plasma. It was $22,000. I can tell the same story. Jesus Christ. My parents have a house. It's in Celebration, right? If people don't know Celebration, it's a nice-

Starting point is 00:43:15 It's the name of a place? Yeah. Disney World made a subdivision, and it is Celebration. And the house isn't like super extravagant or anything, but it's like for for what it is it's done nice like it's a nice example of a small home and they got one of the first plasmas i forget if it was 52 or 55 inches but plasmas were unheard of at this point and they mounted it on the wall not even in the wall but on it and put like crown molding around it and the whole room kind of did up it was 25 000 for this 52 inch television and it seemed worth it like a neighbor walked in and this is what he said he saw it and he goes oh i have i am erect I have a new life goal. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:07 I mean, it was stunning to see it at the first time. Now it's commonplace. The government commandeered all of them. The 60-inch, it was Iraq War. And they commandeered them and shipped them to Iraq for the war rooms. And so we got a loaner TV. They gave us a 50 for like a year until they could catch up 2003 2002 3 like whatever what it was the beginning of iraq war whatever it was 2003 i guess and uh we got a loner tv for like a year and then they finally

Starting point is 00:44:40 sent us the 60 and it just made me think about like, what happened to those hundreds of TVs later? Like were people just like going home with their camo and their duffel bag? Yeah, absolutely. They were, um, they did with stuff like that. The army doesn't give a fuck.

Starting point is 00:44:58 I remember I knew somebody who was importing Barrett 50 cows that had been used in Afghanistan and they were shot to shit. They had been desert used, and they all had desert camo. And they were selling them by the shipping container full. Oh, my God. Like 10,000 Barretts at a time or something, like some absurd amount. And they were like, yeah, almost none of them work, but you'll have enough parts to build yourself five or six

Starting point is 00:45:22 for every eight or ten you get. And we were seriously looking at buying like a pile of barretts at one point because it might be a good business idea a pile of them so i could definitely not even specific unit numbers you know i didn't know that so the first one i think i saw like a nice plasma screen was probably 2003 it was 2003 i had no idea they were that expensive though i just thought yeah, wow, that's cool. It was at a prom party. And I don't want to say exactly too much about the man who owned the house, but he had done some illegal things in his past maybe and had had tons and tons of money. And I was like,

Starting point is 00:46:02 oh, so that, Okay. This is. They weren't kidding. Yeah. $20,000 for that TV, though. I didn't know that. Yeah, it was 20. And actually, in fairness, it was made really well. My parents had that TV on the wall until probably two years ago.

Starting point is 00:46:19 It lasted a long fucking time. And it was like fine, actually actually for a really long time. Plasmas were the ones where it's like oh I watched a show with too much green palette in it for too long. Now there's two. I watched The Simpsons for too long now there's a lot of yellow spaces all over the background. Yeah pretty much.

Starting point is 00:46:38 Do you guys remember those fabric screen TVs? Oh yeah. Whenever you got mad and threw something at it it would go right through that shit yeah it was it was the biggest screen i'd seen at the time probably like 50 inches but i remember my grandparents had one of those fabric screens in the mid 90s when i was a kid and like thinking that was like oh let me link it i found one that was like a vinyl screen almost but it was a magnifying glass okay You could push it. That vinyl is the biggest

Starting point is 00:47:07 magnifying glass you will ever lay your hands on. It was so powerful, my parents took it away from me. I took one out of a 50 or 55 inch TV that was junked out. One of the old box ones that was as thick as it was wide.

Starting point is 00:47:23 It was so powerful powerful you could instantly start fires it was scary like that remember this so like you could that's like the one i lifted it hurt my back lifting it was 10 000 pounds and like the one my grandparent this looks nicer they like had the one that had like all that wood paneling on the the side and like you could take your thumb and kind of put it on the side and like feel like i could put my thumb like the weakest trampoline screen you could have met like like you could just punch your thumb through it if you wanted to and i remember like thinking that was like i'd be watching like fucking ren and stimpy or whatever on this and thinking like i was a classy individual man this is what this is what adult this is how adults watch Power Rangers, by the way. We played N64 GoldenEye.

Starting point is 00:48:07 This was the move. The quadrants. It was the fucking shit for that. Oh, yeah. Just nothing but fights over screen peaking in 007 GoldenEye. Yeah, that was great. Now it's all about you got to have the movie theater if you want to go next level. Like that.

Starting point is 00:48:23 Oh, dude, Woody. There's that community you were talking about by disney world right there's a house for sale i think it's in there it's they were describing it as being like on the grounds of disney world which i'm guessing is what this was and it has the fucking millennium falcon movie theater in it like it's the whole movie theater looks like you're in the millennium falcon it's pretty fucking bad shit yeah i like those home theaters those are especially when they have a cool theme i like when they have a variety of themes though i went to the home theater reddit a while back just to look oh i bet it's

Starting point is 00:48:55 really weird really quick doesn't it very true because some some of the guys you can tell they just love movies and like you'll walk in and it's like there's good fellas there's you know some you know capote movie there's this old fucking classic here's jurassic park one of their personal favorites and then other guys it'll be this where it's like i have a theater room and there's nothing about it other than one franchise it's just about star wars or it's just about harry potter yeah it's like come on man you're simplifying too much here yeah that's the uh it's it's a nice house yeah the millennium falcon is a little bit overkill did you ever see uh uh uh you know tony stewart is the racing driver you ever heard of tony stewart he sold his house a couple months ago and it was like

Starting point is 00:49:46 hasn't of course he sold his house a couple months ago and it was like you look his base his like basement was like oh my god this guy likes to gamble so much it's like one of those setups where you have like 20 tvs on the wall and it's just fucking it's just like set up for sports gambling like you're fucking down there like crushing rails being like fucking come on! Just gacked out of your mind. You've got $30,000 on the women's softball championship. It looks exactly like a fucking Bass Pro Shop.

Starting point is 00:50:17 It's a Bass Pro Shop with a fucking co-player on your ground. I can smell it, yeah. I like that high ceiling. Why does Bass Pro Shop have its own smell? I don't know. It's by design, man. flair underground i can smell yeah i like that high ceiling why does bass that's the coolest smell i don't know it's my design man we all know that once you're coming back that was my favorite place to go as a kid over your second like maybe second to toys or us but but if we were going to bass pro shop that meant that our local gun store didn't have what we needed. We had, or we needed like black powder or yeah,

Starting point is 00:50:48 we need it. God damn it. Those deer were coming right at us. All right. Dude, there's a, there's like one of those kinds of sketchy, you know,

Starting point is 00:50:59 like we buy guns places around the corner from my shop. And I was with my friend who was in from out of town he was like i want to go in there and i was like oh all right yeah like that sounds interesting like sure i've never been into one of those but like let's go in there oh is that that zach is that the headline the internet is comparing it to a bass pro shop that's um and i went we went in this place and it was like it wasn't just guns it was like antique like like Ottoman Empire shit like stuff from India and like this dude was like an encyclopedia of these crazy of these crazy vintage guns some of them were very beautiful and some were like I can't believe they thought that would work but they but I really was i i could see the appeal of collecting these 200

Starting point is 00:51:46 year old guns it seemed it was actually kind of interesting yeah for sure same appeal is are you into firearms at all already um you know i'm i'm not like a like a like i mean i am in the same way i'm into watches and cars and and stuff like that i'm not like establishing an arsenal because i think someone's coming to get me um yeah and i i don't like the idea of carrying a gun around but i i definitely do see the the appeal and my father and i hunt birds uh together i have seen some I should say I've been privileged enough to see some like absurd collections of, of guns. Like,

Starting point is 00:52:29 like you would be the guy, wouldn't you? Yeah. Like, because I would, I would often, I would often be getting like, be flying into a place to meet with a guy who owns his own firearms company.

Starting point is 00:52:39 And he wants me to shoot his gun on a video. And he'd be like, let me show you my private collection. And these private collections. So knight's armament is a really big uh company in florida and uh trey knight was nice enough to let me come down there he owns the company and um his father owns it and he owns it with him anyway um his collection is by far the most absurd thing i've ever seen you know um uh space coast down there where they've got those huge facilities? They made two of those, and he's got the other one. He has that much of a facility.

Starting point is 00:53:16 I'm sorry, has what? Like a space shuttle warehouse? Yeah, pretty much. Is that what we're talking about right now? We're talking about a space shuttle hangar this guy's got? When you go to look around the facilities and look at his collection, you don't walk. You have to ride a golf cart.

Starting point is 00:53:32 You have to ride a golf cart through the tank collection, past the jeep collection, past the artillery collection, out to the bunkers, the old school Air Force silo bunkers that are under dirt outside that are full of explosives of every kind you can imagine. And then, of course, he has the first AR-15 that was ever made, the first M-16, the early, early prototypes that Stoner made.

Starting point is 00:53:56 He owns all of that stuff. Everything Stoner ever made, all of the very early Vietnam stuff. made all of the very early vietnam stuff sequential serial numbers um like displayed on the wall with like documentaries about each one playing on a screen next to them oh wow that's like that's very great is it open as a museum i don't i think that was the plan to open some of it as a weird to run a documentary on a screen in your private collection. Like, what are you going to stop and watch the doc as you're cruising through? I don't know if they ever opened it up, but I remember that being like a plan that some of it would be viewable. I doubt he'd want people like touring. You know what it could be?

Starting point is 00:54:35 There's a very excellent scam. The 501c3 nonprofit collection museum scam, which I am not party to, but I was told I should get on this bandwagon, which is where you can declare a collection or a storage facility, a museum and not pay taxes on any of it. But the rule is that it has to be open to the public for at least one hour per month. Now, you do not need to publicize anywhere that it is open for that hour. And that hour can be any time of the day, any day of the week. But if during that hour someone shows up and wants to come in, you have to sell them a ticket and let them in. And it is the fucking shadiest scam ever.

Starting point is 00:55:27 And if I had a giant collection of shit like this guy had, I'd probably know about that law. I mean, that's a good little deal. So he had this sequential in order kind of stuff. But then there's this guy in Vegas. I think he owns a magazine called Submachine Gunner Magazine or something like that he owns one of the bigger firearms magazines amongst other things and he had like scary stuff

Starting point is 00:55:52 like he had all these CIA lipstick guns like cases full of them like like not one or two like like 30 of them in different colors and every variation in size that they ever made he was like yeah these were made by the CIA and they could like pull it back and you'd let go. And it fires like a 32 caliber bullet and it's integrally, it's a, it's suppressed on the inside. So you can be in a restaurant and go funk and just keep walking and nobody. That's kind of cool.

Starting point is 00:56:17 I saw a collection like that at the FBI. Like I did like the FBI tour in Washington, uh, DC and they have a big ass gun room with crazy spy shit like that. Um, that was pretty neat. I don't think they allow you in there. Uh,

Starting point is 00:56:33 Kyle. No, not anymore. Well, I mean, I mean, they've already done my background check and it came up fast. So,

Starting point is 00:56:40 so, so the answer is no. Um, uh, that guy also had movie guns. He had, um, all he had Gatling guns, like the old school with the 45-70, like coming down. Like what kills Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai.

Starting point is 00:56:57 Yes, like that. He had miniguns, and he had a lot of miniguns. My sunglasses sponsor, Dillon Optics, they have a division that makes miniguns. Dylan Arrow. They mount the miniguns on helicopters in Arizona. I've shot one of them. That's awesome. Yeah, they're fucking crazy.

Starting point is 00:57:13 I think I shot one of theirs, and I shot a different one that was actually the prop gun they used in the Matrix movie when Keanu's shooting out of the helicopter. That's the one I shot at a lake one time. That was neat. I learned that after the fact. That was cool. We've got really like shotguns. Like my old

Starting point is 00:57:33 man's into the kind of like English, you know, wood and fucking scroll work kind of shotgun. Yeah, we just did two weeks ago. We were in Uruguay shooting birds. We went down there to shoot doves and to shoot pardees, which is did two weeks ago. We were in Uruguay shooting birds. We went down there to shoot doves and to shoot pardes, which is like a quail. Very delicious.

Starting point is 00:57:52 Very tasty. The doves are really crazy because it's like they're like a pest down there. So they really want you to kill a lot of them. And so you line up against this fence line with a case of shells and two guns, you know, and you swap them off and and and you shoot like, you know, 200 birds in 90 minutes. It's it's fucking crazy. The amount of bird. Yeah, it's it's it's pretty brutal, actually. It's a bloodbath. It is.

Starting point is 00:58:22 They have no chance. It is. I'm not actually that into like the killing part of it. Like I actually like the parties cause I like going out with the dogs in the fields. Like that's pretty cool to me. But there were some guys at this lodge who were like real, real into the mass slaughter of these dogs.

Starting point is 00:58:41 They're like, no, I'm not even hungry. I'm going home. Let them rot. Yeah. Well, you could eat like 10 doves for dinner. There i'm not even hungry i'm going home let them rot yeah well you need you could eat like 10 doves for dinner there's so little meat on those things so it's not it's not really worth the effort what do you talk to me about microdosing i've been waiting to talk to

Starting point is 00:58:58 you about microdosing all this stuff all right not to interrupt dude so last week on the show i i guess i opened up a little bit about like, you know, I'm just not having a lot of joy in my life and no good reason. Right. And they've got a lot of things going right. A lot of people would trade places with me. Why the fuck aren't I happier?

Starting point is 00:59:14 And the guest is like, you should microdose bro. You, it will just flip your happy switch and change things up. And that's kind of where the idea was planted. So you're micro dosing now. Yeah. Um, so, so I, you know, I've always had like body image stuff. You know, I look in the, like the mirror and I don't really like, like myself, like I have a great, objectively great

Starting point is 00:59:39 life, right. I have a great job that most people would fucking kill for. I don't have any financial issues. I don't have a lot of external real stresses. I work really hard, and I work long hours, but I enjoy what I do. So objectively, there shouldn't be any reason, but I don't always feel so good. I feel sad. I have self-image issues. And, and so, um, my physician who doesn't really know me that well, I see him once a year and he looks at a chart, but, but he's a nice guy and he means well. And, and so I quit smoking weed a year ago

Starting point is 01:00:21 in August and I hadn't smoked weed. And weed and and and what happened when i quit smoking weed was kyle we're talking about microdosing uh and and uh and when i quit smoking weed i started drinking a lot more wine um and i fucking love wine i just i love the wine like i love watches cars and other kind of shit i want to try the new wines and and and i i don't think i'm an alcoholic i'm not i wasn't getting sloppy drunk um but i i put on like 40 pounds from drinking all this fucking wine since i stopped smoking pot and so that made me feel really depressed that i was getting fat off of this wine plus wine is is a depressant in itself so my physician was like you need to be on antidepressants and i was was like, I didn't, I was like, I know you're a professional, but I don't really think I need to be on antidepressants.

Starting point is 01:01:11 And he goes, you know, and I see a therapist once a week. I have been seeing a therapist for like 10 years and, but they've never prescribed me anything. So he goes, I want you to see a psychiatrist. And he kind of threw some shade at my therapist. He's like, a psychiatrist is like a therapist with a medical degree and i was like oh burn but but so i went to see this kind of hoity-toity therapist of psychiatrist in beverly hills and um he's pretty well known you know i i looked the guy up there's a lot of media about him in the

Starting point is 01:01:43 past and we did a two-hour session where I went through my whole fucking life under the premise of this physician says that he thinks I need to be medicated. And I don't necessarily think that's the case. But here's my life. Here's how I feel. Here's who I am. And at the end of it, he goes, I don't think you need to be medicated. He goes, people who need to be medicated have a chemical imbalance that causes their moods to be medicated. He thinks he goes, people who need to be medicated have a chemical imbalance that causes their moods to be certain ways. And that balance can be fixed with medication. He

Starting point is 01:02:13 goes, you don't have a chemical imbalance. What you have is a self image problem. And he goes, and he goes, that is like learned. Like, like that's like that's not like a that's not a chemical thing that's something that you taught you taught yourself to hate yourself and he goes you need to you need a you need a reset of your baseline and he goes have you ever considered microdosing and i said, I'm familiar with the concept. I ate a lot of mushrooms in college, but I did it to trip balls, not to microdose. Not for mental health. And so I hadn't really thought, you know, I hadn't given it much thought. And he goes,

Starting point is 01:03:00 look, I can't legally prescribe you psilocybin, but you seem like a resourceful guy. I recommend you look into this because I think it could help. And people that have PTSD or certain types of depression or trauma are often very helped by, by micro dosing. And so, okay. So I found some, some, I did some reading and I found myself some mushrooms and I did two days on, two days off for a month. And I simultaneously quit drinking wine for the month. Did you come up with that schedule or is that like? There's not an exact schedule.

Starting point is 01:03:41 Some people do it five days on, two days off. Some people do it every day some people alternate days how much um it's like 100 to 150 micrograms oh okay it's not a lot you're not supposed to feel anything if you actually feel them you are eating too much they can do much yeah and so it's it's a very small amount. Like a quote dose is one and a half grams. And this is like a hundredth of that. So it's small. It's not a tenth?

Starting point is 01:04:14 Am I wrong? Is that a tenth micrograms? Yeah, I'm sorry. You're right. It's a tenth. I apologize. Fucking metric system. It's incalculable.

Starting point is 01:04:23 Yeah, no, it's 100 to 150 micrograms is is is the the dose so you know uh the combination of not drinking for a month and doing the microdosing now i did them at the same time so i i couldn't really credit the microdosing 100 but i really did start to feel a lot better and over what period of time over the month or day two were you like no not by day two but like by the second or third week i really did notice a difference okay and i i just stopped having these kind of self-defeatist thoughts, I didn't get like super cheery, but I, um, I, I, I did start to feel better. And so since then I couldn't keep, keep off alcohol a hundred percent cause I do like wine once in a while. So, so now I've kind of, I have wine one night a week, maybe two, but really more like one. Um, and, and, and I've continued, I did, I,

Starting point is 01:05:29 I did a month off of the micro dosing after that. And now I've gone back and I found out that in Oakland, uh, California it's, it's legal. I mean, psilocybin is legal. So you can buy, you know, just like you can legal weed here, really well science-made psilocybin stuff. So I've got gummies. I've got liquid mushrooms. So I don't have to actually find mushrooms and eat them. Back when you were doing it the underground way, is there a scale that does micrograms? Did you have to buy a special microgram?

Starting point is 01:06:04 Amazon. It was like $25. Because I don't think my scale that does micrograms? Did you have to buy a special microgram? Amazon was like $25. Yeah. Like, yeah. Cause I don't think my food scale does micrograms. No, it's like a, there, there's this, you can, if you just like type like microgram scale, like you'll get a digital scale that'll, that'll do it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:16 Yeah. Did you like 20 bucks? Do you kind of grind it and then put it in? You can grind it or you can just break off little pieces. Like it, like the, the range the range was a hundred to 150. So I would just break off little pieces until I got into the range. Okay. So it's not so small.

Starting point is 01:06:33 It's like six pieces. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not that it's not that small. It's like, um, uh, I don't, I don't think like pencil eraser size. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, you can break it off with your hands or like a small scissor just target 125ish or something

Starting point is 01:06:50 a little low I made a little list so it was like day 1 112 grams day 2 you just down it like a pill kind of like some water when you said micro microdosing i thought you were going to talk about lsd i didn't think it was going to be much no psilocybin i've

Starting point is 01:07:09 some people do with lsd also i i don't fuck i don't know i don't have you ever done lsd i have in the in the in like in college like 20 years ago i haven't in a very long time i got an uber today i was returning the U-Haul and traffic was bad. So we ended up chatting for a while and he was like, yeah, man, I used to be in the disco scene and he started talking about, he starts talking about all the,

Starting point is 01:07:36 That's a funny way to open up about drugs. Oh, we were, we were already well into the drug talk, but now it was time to talk about acid. So he had to introduce that in its own way. And talked about all the people he saw he talked about all the like huge bands he saw live and uh like what an experience acdc was on like three hits of acid in the 70s whenever the fuck it was dude was rad he was a gray hair, like maybe 65, like big gray beard and like fit.

Starting point is 01:08:08 I don't know. When I got out of the car, he's like, well, I'm going to miss you. You were fun to talk to. You're like, check out my YouTube channel, bro. Get his numbers. You made a friend. I mean. You made a microdose of buddy.

Starting point is 01:08:24 I sent him a message. He seems like a man. That guy's the plug, dude. That guy's got the hook out for sure. I went to Fortnite's Pearl Jam in May and I ate some Molly at one of them and it was

Starting point is 01:08:37 de-fucking-lightful. I've never done that. Molly's the greatest. I did it in college a couple times and it was a it was a lot of fun it's just it just makes everything fucking awesome i i took a decent amount of molly like skrillex was like really huge at the time like 2010 i was i was in college and he was the guy he came to mizzou and like me and all my buddies were rolling on molly and like it was the most fun concert i've ever attended in my life like you know like you

Starting point is 01:09:12 see the front stage and there's the big horde of people having a great time dancing doing whatever and then there's those absolute lunatics who are tweaking over to the side just dancing on their own i was that guy yeah i was that guy up in the front not even cognizant like people do you get rough to drink water no no no not rough and fit you're just enjoying the music enjoying the vibes you're doing your own thing i just met you in particular i just feel like especially like the view of today i feel like you could be a rowdy gentleman in in the midst of like a mosh pit or something somewhere like you'd be that guy who could really launch somebody no i i'm not a mosh pit person like this was more of an everybody having fun and i was off to the side dancing with a few other people who had taken too many drugs

Starting point is 01:09:55 the combination of molly and moshing i don't i don't think yeah that would be too aggressive provides the right energy for moshing you need you need an angst that molly wouldn't let happen i moshed once it was warped tour 2008 got pickpocketed and never did it again 50 is a lot in high school moshing got out of hand i went to some fucking metal show in high school and someone was in the mosh pit in golf cleats and i was like oh wow you're like actually here to hurt somebody like okay i think i'm done with this yeah that guy's a real piece of shit like not even there like buck up against someone he's there to like break someone's toe sneakily what a piece of shit yeah you were talking about feeling down just does not appeal

Starting point is 01:10:41 you're talking about feeling down one thing that that always makes my day is just being nice to people. I've started trying to do at least one nice thing for somebody every day, like a genuinely nice thing go out of my way. When I return to U-Haul today, instead of a quarter tank, I put a half a tank of gas in there. So the next person gets credit for like 50. It's like 50 bucks that I just kind of paid the next person. So that's my thing today.

Starting point is 01:11:05 Yeah, and I'm feeling good about it. My cousin walks around Venice Beach, and we have a lot of homeless people in Venice Beach, as everybody fucking knows, because it's something that everyone talks about. And she gives out a 20 a day, every day. She makes good money. It doesn't really mean much to her to give out a 20 a day.

Starting point is 01:11:25 But she every single day gives a homeless person a 20. And she said it's unbelievable what it does for her mood. Yeah. I gave out 20 bucks to someone in trouble just recently. And here's what happened. So I'm walking. And this guy comes up to me. And he says, hey, my wife is right there. She's across the street waving, right? and he says hey my wife is right there she's across the street

Starting point is 01:11:46 waving right and he says my car has trouble and i need some money to get this car fixed i'm a couple hours from home and i'm really in a jam can you please help me and i i don't know something about him not being so homeless just a guy guy in trouble, seemed even more appealing to me. He's got something to lose. He takes out this wad of cash. He's like, look, I have $240 already, and he's fanning out all this money. You're not really selling it, buddy. He's like, I'm almost there.

Starting point is 01:12:22 I'm almost towards getting this part. I need to fix my car i forget what he said it was and uh and then i can fix this and i'll be on my way and and this will be like you'll get my you didn't say you'll get my life back on track but like that was like the thing like i'm in a i'm in a tough spot right now and i'm close and i'm like i feel like i'm being suckered this reminds me of boston with the guy with the one giant hand who's like, I got a giant hand. Give me money. And I did. Did I as well?

Starting point is 01:12:50 I don't know. He's got a giant hand. He's going to kill you. I think he got one huge hand. It was like not the size of a human hand. It didn't work. And he needed to get medical care immediately for this enormous hand.

Starting point is 01:13:05 And I'm like, oh, yeah, you do. And he would just need $20. That didn't happen today, buddy. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, so this guy had this elaborate story. He had all this money already. And I gave him the $20.

Starting point is 01:13:16 And he didn't say how much he needed. He just said he needed a little more. So I gave him $20, which, I mean, maybe I'm an asshole. But I thought that was, like, towards the generous side of giving money to strangers. That's my that's my limit. Right. I don't give $100 to people like on the street asking for cash. And anyway, so then I gave him the 20.

Starting point is 01:13:36 He starts chasing me. Right. He starts following me. And he's like holding my shoulder, like pulling me back. And I'm like, is this what we're doing today? Are we getting in a fight with a homeless guy today? That's not how I thought my afternoon was going to go. Is this what we're doing this afternoon? Getting a hep C test?

Starting point is 01:13:52 Okay. He's like, I'm almost there. I need 17 more. He shows me this wad of cash. He just needs $17 more, and he's tugging on my body and my clothes to get the other 17. All right.

Starting point is 01:14:05 Time out. Please. I need more details. Please, please. There is a man begging. What does this man describe his physical appearance to me? I got a picture. Okay.

Starting point is 01:14:14 I'm going to call him. The beggar. 44 years old. He was a black guy. He was. Facial hair? Yeah. You can't remember it. It doesn't matter. Yeah. It wasn't like a chaos hair. facial hair? yeah if you can't remember it, it doesn't matter

Starting point is 01:14:27 yeah, it wasn't like a chaos hair or anything like that I'm picturing a white T-T what did you say, Taylor? I was saying, no, like he wasn't handicapped no, no, he seemed able-bodied describe his hair

Starting point is 01:14:42 he had black person's hair and it wasn't he seemed able-bodied. Describe his hair. He had a black person's hair, and it wasn't tight. Well, yeah, but it wasn't tight and manicured, but it also wasn't a giant mess. Did you see the car that needed repair? Was the car present? No, I didn't see the car

Starting point is 01:15:00 that needed repair, although he did have a wife waving across the street to collaborate his story. She was also somewhere that needed repair, although he did have a wife waving across the street to collaborate his story. She was also somewhere like she looked better than homeless, but not put together.

Starting point is 01:15:13 Was she wearing a bra? She was across the street. I wouldn't know. The no car being visible part is the most curious thing. Where's the fucking... All this is for the repairs of what? An ethereal car somewhere else.

Starting point is 01:15:28 Right? We've gotten you off track. There's cars all over the place. I don't know which one belongs to you. Did you give him the other 17 or did you... No. I just told him no firmly and he didn't take the first...

Starting point is 01:15:43 In my head, he broke the contract I gave you $20 to stop harassing me you need to stop harassing me now not try to up there to 37 that's that's the contract we have in his mind he had a guy in the hook he had a giver and and he needs to milk all that all

Starting point is 01:16:00 he can from this cow yeah and I I don't know I don't want to go full matt won't get this boogie 2988 on you or anything but i could beat this guy up this guy was smaller than me and he just yeah yeah what what is what he's a humble man but just so you know what he's got years of jujitsu and boxing training and he's been pumping iron for like two years now. And he's literally like jacked, like Tom Cruise, um,

Starting point is 01:16:27 like looking real good. If this guy wasn't, if this ended with you taking his $240, I should have created. Oh boy. Not, not only are you not getting the 17, I'm teaching you a lesson. You need 250.

Starting point is 01:16:49 Jackie, good news. We're going to dinner tonight. Now you're 250 short again. So, yeah, anyway, I kind of just sort of, like, I want to say I intimidated him a little bit. Like, it was like, no, like, you need to back off now. And he did. And that's how the story ended.

Starting point is 01:17:12 But, yeah, I did not get the same sense of, like, good vibes and mood lift from giving away $20. I felt like, one, I fell short of his expectations. And, two, he fell short of mine. It sucked. I would have been better off just giving him the hard no by the way I feel like you should show off like your updated physique picture unless you're doing so

Starting point is 01:17:35 is that one that Zach just showed not a while ago no he has improved since then that looked like they put Woody's head on some fucking athlete's body. Woody looks better than that now. Really? I was about to send your picture

Starting point is 01:17:52 to Zach to share, but I realized that I should let you do that. Oh. But your last picture was pretty fucking good. The one where I'm posing with one arm and you can tell I'm smiling behind the camera? Yes, I like that. I love how Woody's'm smiling behind the camera? Yes, I like that.

Starting point is 01:18:05 I love how Woody's always smiling behind the camera. That's a grimace. Do you take gym selfies? Are you that guy? We all take selfies. I take daily progress pictures. You do? To be honest, I didn't think this was that great a picture.

Starting point is 01:18:18 When I look at this picture, maybe, Matt, you can empathize with this. I see a fat dude who's not done losing weight. That's what I'm looking at. But, Zach, you can share that. When you look at this. I see a fat dude who's not done losing weight. That's what I'm looking at. But Zach, you can share that. When you look at that, you see a fat dude? I'm going to go kill myself right now. Yeah. Yeah, I think you need to reset your baseline.

Starting point is 01:18:37 If you look at that picture and see a fat dude, you need to be micro-dosing because you're... I can get a little better lighting and posing than that. That's not my... I can do better. No, no, no. You don't need to be micro dosing because you're i can get a little better lighting and posing than that that's not my i can't get the prop no no you don't need to do better you need a tan and i'm not talking about doing that fake like 300 stuff you literally need to like like 300 if you don't want to like take the cancer risk because i know you spent your youth on a beach like you you could spray tan i think i tan. I think you're doing pretty good. You're not focusing on the funniest part.

Starting point is 01:19:09 Look at his face behind the camera. I know. Look at him. He's very happy with what's going on on the other side of the camera. Woody always sends us photos with his camera in front of his face, and he's always cheesing.

Starting point is 01:19:24 Big smile. Like a kid at Walmart getting his holiday pictures. Big smile, Woody. Big smile. See, my theory is that's not a smile as much as it is like a grimace because whenever I'm taking these pictures, I'm flexing

Starting point is 01:19:39 so goddamn hard that it's hard to not look constipated. You can either go for happy or angry and, or, and, and that's it. It makes me smile. I don't know the whole,

Starting point is 01:19:52 the idea of a daily progress picture is hilarious to me. But yeah, that, so this is me. Jackie to start taking these for you. This might be yesterday. Double biceps. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:04 Well, if you think you're fat in that picture you definitely need to start look around the belly button see that well you need to be you need to be right here yeah yeah you're like 14 body fat like it's absurd 13 14 somewhere in there like like in there. Clearly 11 or 12 are the numbers we're aiming for. And then 9 and 10. 10 is where Jackie thinks it doesn't look good anymore. Yeah, when do you stop having your period? Not yet.

Starting point is 01:20:41 Is 10 the area of body fat when you start to look weird where it's it goes from like that guy's shredded to like did he did he sick is he okay he used to be like mr olympia and he's had like lymphoma for a bit or no from for me when i got like below 10 um you know like after a cardio session or like when i was really pumped up from a workout i was just like fuck you look like a skeleton anatomy book type poster thing in some places like i don't have a great like like genetic like shape of my body or anything but like every individual part of it is all right well maybe i do i'm trying to be humble okay you're an all-star buddy but i don't know it was it's uh it's it's really when you get below 10 you start looking weird yeah you start looking like people don't normally

Starting point is 01:21:32 look it's very rare that you see a human being who is not eight or nine percent body fat it's really the definition transitions from muscle definition to tendon and vein definition because it's like it's maxed out all the good definition of your muscles. And now it's like, oh, I don't want to know, like, how his legs move. I don't want to see the mechanics of it. And then I'm drying them out, right? Then I'm cutting all the water out for a whole day and dropping 10 pounds of water. And so everything is just.

Starting point is 01:22:01 The amount of people who appreciate that last couple bit of gains. It's really small. It's like the Mont Blanc watch up until like 11% or so guys girls everyone is like that guy looks like a fucking fitness model and then you get into that guy he doesn't look like my cup of tea anymore Muscle Beach is right

Starting point is 01:22:21 up the street from me and so whenever I walk by I see that level of fucking crazy going on and it's what do you think about what do you think about when the vein is like coming up from the crotch like like below the belly button crotch area when you can see that vein is that a good thing or a bad thing it would be really easy to bleed that person to death like like do you want that or are you like oh i've gone too far if i can see my my groin vein that goes to my like i want it because i'm only trying to impress me i would be very impressed that's what i'm asking like like do you want yeah the groin vein i do

Starting point is 01:22:58 yeah i am it's really not visible you have to look carefully but i have a bicep vein a little bit and uh i think most people think a bicep veins, not an attractive feature, but I love the, but I look for that. And every man I look at, I, and I would argue that, you know, it's like the mom block watch, right? Where most people are like, Oh, he's got veins on his bicep. Like he's maybe gone too far. And, uh, but I just saw the hint of mine coming in and i was like oh i like this i like this even though it's just for me is it your femoral artery that runs sort of like on the inside of your your legs up toward your groin on either side yeah yeah so if you can see that you've gone too far back it down oh i can i can see that right now i can feel it right now through jeans. Really? Are you seriously right now?

Starting point is 01:23:47 I need more shirtless pictures. That sounds gnarly. I'm 207 right now. I'm going up. I've gained three pounds in the last two weeks, I think. This is a... Being in shape mean your weight went up?

Starting point is 01:24:05 It depends being in shape mean your weight went up? Oh, it depends what your version of like being in shape is though. Right? Like I'm trying to gain as much muscle as I can for the next like three or four months or so. But so that means I have to eat a surplus of calories to build that, which means it comes along with fat. I'm going to get real fluffy over the next three or four months.

Starting point is 01:24:23 And then I'll spend three months beating the shit out of myself, um, doing cardio and a, and a strict diet. Um, and then cut it all off. It's, it's honestly, it's a really fun process to go through. Uh, uh, it's, um, I don't know. It's, it's, it's, I don't know what else to say. It's really fun to do that, to be really strict with it and treat your body like a chemistry set. Because I always preached that sort of like calories in, calories out stuff. But I didn't really have any ground to stand on until I just did it. And we did my weight cut with, you know, pen and paper. Like there was no like magical mumbo jumbo. It was like, all right, you're going to eat 2,800 calories tomorrow.

Starting point is 01:25:04 Then we're going to weigh and we'll do the math and we'll figure out what you eat the next day. And it just worked like that all the way down, cutting whatever it was, 40 or 50 pounds at the end. Jesus. No, that's just fun.

Starting point is 01:25:17 It's crazy. Do you do, is it? You're a, you're a gentleman of a certain age. Do you, have you considered doing trt uh no should i i would recommend getting blood work done and seeing what your current levels

Starting point is 01:25:34 are and then having a doctor figure that out for you i've had uh i have had a testosterone test before and it is not low ah so but is it high but should but but are you saying it could be high and that would be it's not low compared to what a man the scale is the problem so the scale is the problem and uh and the scale is absurd that they use for testosterone for what's normal for a man if we were talking about blood pressure, there's this really narrow gap that needs to be with him. Then there's yellow and orange and red. It's just right here. It's well-defined.

Starting point is 01:26:11 With testosterone levels, if you're between 300 and 1,000, you're good. The guy who's at 300 is barely functional because that's about where I was, 328, feeling real bummed out, low energy, and depressed. The guy at 1,000 is borderline a super athlete with the his ability to uh to build muscle and recover and have energy like borderline a murderer no no like he he's a he's a uber mitch he's uh he's he's on the verge of transcending right and uh and if you go beyond that which

Starting point is 01:26:45 you can do with trt if you if your doctor chooses and another thing what is like the what is like the you're gonna fucking die level of uh of testosterone it gets like 1500 they've done 2000 they've done what's the it's uh well they people i don't know about the like i don't know the level matters it would more be a how it would tax your organs and what it might do to your cholesterol. But I know that there's been case studies where they gave guys 500 milligrams a week for extended periods of time, like nine months or something like that with no ill effects afterwards. But TRT is this maintenance dose of testosterone and the the way they dial you in they're going to put you at like a high t level you know there's

Starting point is 01:27:32 kind of a joke a meme on the internet being high t but now you'll literally be high t for all intents and purposes but also like regular doctors do this or do i have to go to some fucking some somebody else well i go i go I go to my boy, Derek. Not only does he make the best damn plum pills in the world, but he also has a clinic that can evaluate your blood work and give you up some TRT. I've sent a lot of people his way, and they all seem to like it. That's what I do.

Starting point is 01:28:02 They send me testosterone, and I shoot in my arm every day. Seriously? Yeah. You don't shoot in my arm every day. Seriously? Yeah. You don't have to do it every day. It's just I'm kind of precise about stuff. Wow. And I do. All right.

Starting point is 01:28:13 You can do it once a week, once every three days, something like that. Hmm. You got to shoot it like the fucking Heron or can you just take pill supplements? Right into this muscle right here with an insulin syringe and it doesn't even hurt. Like I'm telling you, it's like a pinch. I guess. Just start shooting this shit up, huh? All right.

Starting point is 01:28:34 You can get – like you'll feel – your sex drive will be like when you were 18 years old. You have a second puberty. You'll have a second puberty. That is – But you don't get taller. I'm wearing that. You'll get taller you you you'll get you'll get acne if you had acne as a teenager you'll uh your your voice wait really are you joking about that or you really will uh you really will you'll you might gain body hair i got i've got more body

Starting point is 01:28:58 hair than i used that would be a real problem i am maxed out in that regard. Oh, and here's the big scary one. Here's the big scary one. This might turn you away from testosterone. It can, in some cases, cause hair loss. Oh, well, it's too fucking late. That's how I got here in the first place, folks. You can fix that with other drugs. I've committed to the hair loss. i shaved my head i've been very very

Starting point is 01:29:27 lazy about this is about a week no shaving but normally i'm uh normally i'm pretty good about that shit no because you were just talking about like self-image issues and i don't know yeah yeah like i don't know if you know what i did but i spent a year doing like a whole body transformation thing to sort of promote Derek's clinic and uh I went from like we see Kyle pictures I feel like Matt might know have you ever seen what I did uh I don't think so actually I've seen you shoot a whole bunch of fucking guns and I've seen you sitting in that chair and that's about it oh wow really look at those biceps. You went into that too far level. Yeah, that's...

Starting point is 01:30:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are a lot of pictures of Kyle. Like, I don't mean to do this to you. Can you show the one that was his leading picture? The one where I don't look a mutant? The one where I don't look a mutant? There's one that looks like it's hydrated. The one that's on their front page.

Starting point is 01:30:22 Yeah, this one looks like your fucking veins are actually i dehydrated myself that's dehydrating myself for 36 hours while doing cardio oh wow you're fucking jacked in that shit yeah that's one that appeals to i think that was your tinder picture that's his role like how'd that work out everyone gets it pretty good How's your Tinder picture? That's his Rolex picture. How'd that work out for you? Everyone gets it. That worked out pretty good?

Starting point is 01:30:44 I do okay. That worked out pretty good. I do okay. Yeah. And all the marketing. A picture like that and then marketing. Yeah, marketing. You want to talk about how to get your products out to lots of people?

Starting point is 01:30:58 I can help you with that. Right here. My Tinder strategy. I met my wife on Tinder. You got the pump pills? It is funny just knowing your life and knowing you like you could have put most like you could have just picked something like why'd you why'd you land on marketing because you thought it was the most honest and realistic it was the most honest yeah i mean something like engineer you might get called out because they don't have a probation no no i just thought it was the most honest thing

Starting point is 01:31:26 to put because um you know nothing i can't i can't write i tell stories and make bad jokes do you think entertainment or celebrity would have been i don't have a tab i would have tried that like i don't i don't want them like yeah like i don't them to be talking to them about blowing up trucks and stuff. I want to talk to them about what they're up to and what life is like. Sure, maybe that.

Starting point is 01:31:54 They don't need to know. Mostly they're lying. Yeah. What's your dad's name again? What happened to dad? Tell me about today. I don don't like people about my job you know because then it leads to tell me what your podcast is tell me more about it deep dive deep dive and it's like now i have to tell you stories now i feel like i'm in a position where i need to put on a

Starting point is 01:32:20 personalized one-man podcast for the next you should let them know what you get paid for an hour to do that sort of thing. Look, I'm going to have to bill you if you want. Oh my God. Oh really? Never tell an Uber driver you test. This is going to be great. I fucking love this. And it's like, I'm just here to get my teeth cleaned. Now I have to put on a show for you?

Starting point is 01:32:38 I've noticed in public. I've told Uber drivers that I'm card box. That's my go-to. There are no further questions your bike broke up you told them what i tell i tell uber drivers that i make cardboard boxes i'm a corrugation engineer there's never a fucking follow-up no i for a while i test cars 50 minutes later no one's ever been like what's your favorite kind and size of box and you're like don't get me started making things up i'm gonna go with mortician next time

Starting point is 01:33:13 and then that's gonna inspire a huge amount of questions i want i want it to because i want to tell them increasingly more ridiculous things about behind the scenes at the mortician stuff until they call me on my bullshit because the truth about it is absurd enough you know they put those like corkscrew butt plugs and say and you're in your loved ones right like that's a that's a valentine butt plugs because i care i want to have like a granny would like a raccoon tail a sparkly pink one up there? No, and Grandpa wants the ponytail. If you can come up with something that is

Starting point is 01:33:49 interesting and forces you to think, that's good. Don't ever tell people you review cars if you're forced to be with them for an hour. In a car. Because it's a cool job and they're going to keep asking.

Starting point is 01:34:04 I like talking to strangers it's good practice for being a normal human being proposing as a human being I have to go in just a minute but I wanted to tell you I wanted to end on a funny gun story

Starting point is 01:34:20 I told you guys before that my dad and I went to Uruguay and we brought some shotguns to to shoot birds and they weren't the really you know my dad's got some pretty fucking serious hardware but but we don't like to travel internationally with with those because you know you don't want to you don't want something to happen to them um and so we had some guns that were nice, but not super fancy schmancy. So we brought them down. No problem.

Starting point is 01:34:49 Coming back was a fucking disaster. Nobody in Montevideo had any idea how to check these guns through properly to check in their serial numbers or any of that kind of shit. You've got to do it right. And then we land. It takes forever to get back. We had to fly through Panama City and then to Miami. It was like 25 hours of fucking flying, and it was awful. But we land in Miami.

Starting point is 01:35:13 It's 1 in the morning now. We're in Miami. There's nobody in the airport. And we go to declare our guns in the customs office. And we get there, and they're looking at them, and they're looking at the paperwork and they ask my dad for the original proof

Starting point is 01:35:30 of purchase for these guns. He has a photocopy of it. Okay, which he does have. But they ask for the original proof of purchase. And he goes, I live in New York. It's in my house in Connecticut. It's in my house in Connecticut.

Starting point is 01:35:45 It's in my house in Connecticut. And they go, well, can you wake somebody up? Because first off, it's one in the morning. Second off, nobody's home. And he goes, isn't this Xeroxed copy enough? And they go, no. He goes, we can't prove these are your guns. And we're going to confiscate them.

Starting point is 01:36:03 It's a pair of guns. And he goes, my initials are literally engraved in this gun my son's initials are engraved in this gun both of our initials are embossed on the case classic long you can't you can't like it's you know i realize that may not hold up in court but here with us can't you understand that yeah we brought them into you like we're clearly not smuggling these guns like yeah we waited in line to do this with you we're not trying to fool you here's the paperwork for when we brought them out of america into uruguay here's the paperwork for when we brought them back and this guy's like no well that's not

Starting point is 01:36:43 gonna work we're gonna have to confiscate these guns. And my dad's friend who's with us is this super Goomba guy right out of The Sopranos. And literally he's like, do you think we could come to some kind of an arrangement? And I'm going like, oh my God, shut the fuck up, dude. Shut the fuck up. I can't wait to hear what the story is.

Starting point is 01:37:04 You're not fucking helping. He's helping. He helped, right? Tell me. I forget his last name, but it's something like Siciliano or something. It's like the most stereotypical. Danny Criminalici. Jimmy Londrisimo.

Starting point is 01:37:19 Oh, my God. And so they call in the boss supervisor who comes in. It's a super typical like yoked customs, dude, you know, and he, you know, what's going on here? You know, what do we got? Okay, let me look at this. And, oh, I don't think we're going to, this is going to work. We're going to have to take these, take these guns and go, okay, can we come back tomorrow and get them once we get, you know, get something, something. And they go no no it

Starting point is 01:37:45 goes into uh seize the property and my dad at this point my dad is just like i'll fucking send a lawyer i'm not dealing with this fucking bullshit like take the fucking guns like i'll we'll send a lawyer here tomorrow what's gonna fucking jam you guys up with paperwork for fucking two weeks for taking these things and so the guy, let me get your passports. The supervisor takes all of our passports, goes in the back room for like a half hour. So now it's like almost 2 o'clock in the morning. We're standing around.

Starting point is 01:38:15 And I don't know about you guys, but I believe that any bureaucratic system can be worked with, against, or around on the mood of the one guy you're dealing with. Whether it's the DMV or the IRS or customs or the cops. It's just you and the guy you're fucking talking to or girl. Forget the fucking system. It's always about the one person you're standing there

Starting point is 01:38:44 and their fucking mood so eventually this guy comes back out you know and he goes oh i'm guessing he has googled my father or whatever and found out he's not a fucking criminal he's you know big big time corporate type here's what i'm gonna do you know i going to let you guys go this time. And just make sure you got the da, da, da. And we're kind of like, okay, we're sorry. Thank you. Thanks for not taking the gun. And as we're packing him up and going to leave,

Starting point is 01:39:15 now I'm wearing a mask and I'm wearing a hat. And this guy, one of the other guards comes up to me and goes, hey, hey, come here. And I go, what's up man and he goes dude i love your car reviews and i'm like you fucking knew who i was this entire time you let me stand here for two hours that with saying we're gonna take our guns and you literally knew who i was and saw my initials carved into this gun and we're, yeah, no, that's not his. Like what the fuck?

Starting point is 01:39:47 You couldn't have pulled up my channel and showed your, you literally know me. Like you could have literally wrote on a piece of paper. I know this guy. Yes. Like initials. Do you know how often like that's worked in the past? Like I actually lost my driver's license once while traveling and got onto an airplane

Starting point is 01:40:06 because the guy at the gate was like, no, I fucking know this guy. That is his name. That's actually worked in the past for me. I thought you would find that funny that this guy was going to take our guns the whole time. I'm so glad that

Starting point is 01:40:21 Goomba friend of yours didn't get you put into a cell. I wanted that to work so much. I wanted it to work too. It's Uruguay, right? No, this was in Miami. This was in America. Oh, I misunderstood.

Starting point is 01:40:35 This was not. No, this was once we landed in Miami. I thought he was in South America. No, he did this fucking shit in America. He was doing the whole like, ah, I wish there was something I could do. It probably would have fucking worked down there. It didn't seem like there was a whole lot of laws down there.

Starting point is 01:40:52 Sometimes I feel like that's part of the compensation plan. Like, listen, we don't pay you much but you get so much in bribes. You get bribed at least three times a week. Yeah. Waitresses get tips. Bureaucrats get bribeses it's part of how we pay you oh my god i'll take and make 175 a year for 10 years and be worth 48 million dollars

Starting point is 01:41:12 now you're in higher level politics yeah it's wild that all these politicians reliably outdo economists yeah right pelosi like killing the fucking stock market right now? She's wasting her time in politics. She's a genius. I mean, apparently insider trading is legal if you're a politician. I have a PKA Patreon question that I wanted to ask

Starting point is 01:41:38 you before you left, Matt. I know you have a shitty city. We have a Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Smug Tire Podcast. I thought it was like a procedural Patreon question.com slash the Smug Tire Podcast. Check it out. Give them money. I thought it was like a procedural Patreon. What is the douchiest car you can drive? Coolest car. I've been staring at that question thinking

Starting point is 01:41:51 of you. Douchiest and coolest car you can drive. An either or? It's a both. I think it's two separate answers. I mean, the douchiest car. PT Cruiser. No, that's not douchey. I mean, that's a terrible car, but if you're talking not douchey. I mean, that's like a terrible car. But if you're talking about douchey to me is like meathead someone and like flashing cash without a lot of substance.

Starting point is 01:42:17 Like, I would say it was like a Lamborghini Aventador or something. But those are actually very fast and perform well. Like, the douchiest car you could drive has to be like a G 63, like a G wagon. Okay. That's probably the douchiest car you could drive. And the coolest. Well, coolest.

Starting point is 01:42:36 Yeah. Hey, just for fun, make it not super expensive. Well, no, I mean like, like there's a bunch of shit you can drive.

Starting point is 01:42:44 Like it probably not something brand new um uh i would say like like my wife has a car i bought her for her birthday it's called a nissan pow have you ever heard of that no um zach if you could pull up it's pao it's a 1989 n Pow. And it's just the most charming little thing. It's cheap and it's slow. It's basically like a beach chair with an engine. And yeah, that's it.

Starting point is 01:43:15 That's the coolest car you've run on the era scene. And I'll tell you, ours is like, that one looks kind of like tired. If you want to go on my Instagram and scroll back like a month, you can see the one I bought her, which is a lot cleaner than this one and has like kind of cool wheels on it. I'm not convinced your wife's car meets current safety standards. No, it does not. It is right-hand drive.

Starting point is 01:43:38 Yeah. My wife likes weird Japanese cars. And so like this thing, like whenever i drive it or she drives it like people are like what the fuck is that that's the coolest thing ever uh people are really into it also like um deloreans like they're not great cars but people they they see that you appreciate a classic car that you have a sense of nostalgia they look pretty neat coming back and also you kind of have a good sense of humor someone that i know that i know a guy who's responsible for fucking whose job it is to raise yeah that's my wife's car so it's got these cool little watanabe uh japanese wheels on it and these fog lights and it's much shinier and cleaner than the one you

Starting point is 01:44:23 just uh i like the showed but that's my wife's actual car it rules yeah it's got the california rollback safe safe it is not oh yeah this looks like you stole it from a county fair if you get hit from the from the bumper cars area yeah uh deloreans are cool and if you want to meet, like, most, you know, when you grow up, you're like, get a cool car, you meet chicks. Like, no, most cool cars, you meet dudes. You don't meet any girls in a cool car. But if you did want to meet girls, you should drive a Morgan. It doesn't matter if it's a Morgan three-wheeler or the more traditional Morgan.

Starting point is 01:45:03 three-wheeler or the more traditional Morgan. But if you are in a Morgan, you are a classy gentleman of taste and style, and you have disposable income, and you're into something fun and everything. More expensive than you think. That car in the three-wheeler is probably 50 grand. This picture is of a plus four, and that's probably $75,000 or $80,000 for something like that. It's so what I think girls like. You're like the Great Gatsby in that motherfucker. A lot of girls like Teslas, I think.

Starting point is 01:45:38 Yeah, in the same way they like guys who drive BMWs. I understand why someone likes a Tesla. I like electric cars. I do. I think they're fun. I have the electric Ford, the Mach-E, which I like a lot. They're cool, but a Tesla is a very douchey car also, I think. If you wanted a more affordable douche car than a G-Wagon, a Tesla is would satisfy that requirement.

Starting point is 01:46:07 I pay too much attention to this, but I wonder if Elon Musk's pivot to the right politically is going to hurt him with his customer base. It might. I mean, it's he certainly was extremely liberal when he needed fucking D.O.E. loans from the Democrats. Right. And when he needed this in California. I don't think they're buying Elon Musk when they buy those. I think it's a status symbol. It's a $100,000 status symbol that he proves around. There's that, but it's also some virtue signaling. And I think that they want...

Starting point is 01:46:40 Sure. You told me... I talked about cowboy hats. And you're like, no, cowboy hats, they're're not functional it's to say i'm on this team and i think tesla's do that to some extent people say i'm on team green over here i'm a cool guy and it's not that they're not functional it's that a lot of a lot of guys are like all hat and no cattle so i think what will hurt that car company more is the availability of electric cars that are just better. I mean, there's four or five different electric cars that have come on the market in the last two years that are just better than Tesla. So you think they'll just fall behind?

Starting point is 01:47:18 Well, look, I mean, go back to the 1980s and who would have thought someone knocked IBM off the PC game? You know what I mean? And now who the fuck's buying an IBM? I think that Tesla was incredibly innovative. They definitely inspired the other automakers to make a hard move towards not only EVs, but the big tablet style multimedia systems. But they're not very good at building cars. Their cars are built really badly. And so if you have someone else, whether it's Ford or Porsche or Audi, learn those lessons and learn from the fact that people bought Teslas, what those customer preferences were, but build a better car, a car that doesn't leak water.

Starting point is 01:48:11 What do you think about the truck now? Last two times you've said there will be no cyber truck. Yeah, where is it? You seen it? I heard more talk. I heard they recently doubled down. They were like, the truck is coming. We made business.

Starting point is 01:48:27 Yeah. Well, that's what Elon Musk does. He doubles the fuck down. He doubles right on down. And not only is there, there are no engineering mules running around for that truck. I mean, the prototype that they keep showing is the same fucking one they've been showing for years. It looks like shit. How did he miss out on starting some kind of a fan club called the Musketeers?

Starting point is 01:48:50 Ooh, that's a good name. That is a very good name. That is a great name. That's what you can call his bot army on Twitter. The Musketeers. I like that. He says mid-2023. This is like when the self-driving car is coming.

Starting point is 01:49:05 Every year, it's one more year, dude. Every year, it's one more year. I rail against Musk sometimes, and everyone gets mad at me, but it's mostly about his false promises. I feel like if Ford said the new F-150 was coming out in 2020, and then they backed it off and backed it off and backed it off. I will say this. When he made that flamethrower, that was something that I knew about.

Starting point is 01:49:26 I have flamethrowers. I have good flamethrowers. And I was like, bitch, you don't know how to make a flamethrower. That's not a flamethrower. That's a water gun. Get out of here. You know what's really funny is

Starting point is 01:49:37 a lot of people think Elon is smart until he wades into their area of expertise and they realize he's completely full of shit and then they go wait a minute if he's completely full of shit about this thing that I know about is he full of shit about everything else too?

Starting point is 01:49:57 and the answer is yes he is he's full of shit about everything else he's a businessman more than an engineer he's a fucking marketer he's a businessman more than an engineer he's a fucking marketer he's a marketer you know he uses pt barnum he's more pt barnum than he is edison yes and that's and he's pt barnum but had but look the model s which a lot of smart people far beyond elon musk were involved in the model s the designer um fr Franz von Holzhausen, Peter Rawlinson, who was the head chassis engineer,

Starting point is 01:50:27 so many talented people were involved in that car. Super revolutionary. But the problem is they don't have a second album. The Model 3, the Model X, and the Model Y are just the Model S in different packaging. There's nothing that any of those cars do that didn't come on the Model S. They don't have a follow-up.

Starting point is 01:50:48 They put all the eggs in the self-driving thing, and it's horse shit. And Elon figured he was smart enough to solve a problem that wasn't that hard. Turns out it's pretty fucking hard for a lot of reasons you know and then they thought they could sell this fucking total recall movie prop pickup truck with this that's in a whole new level of manufacturing with an exoskeleton there's a reason that nobody builds cars like that like yeah like uh oh it's stainless steel like huh why didn't delorean work out like oh don't know. Maybe it's because you can't do fucking body work on those cars. Like, it's just like dumb shit. But the hype train is strong.

Starting point is 01:51:34 There's true believers that really do believe in the hero worship of this guy and his fucking genius. The media props him up and is completely uncritical about things they should be incredibly critical about and there's also a bot army you know to spread the garbage on twitter and uh and there's people that are financially invested in it you know that the stock is through the fucking roof based on his declared vision and they don't want to stop that train and even u.s regulators you know the nitsa and the and the regulators who could stop the full self-driving beta nobody really wants to put to fucking put the kibosh on this american success story nobody wants to really rain on the parade i'm a little happy about that now i'll admit that self-driving kind of they're not doing it great and i think their technology not using lidar is probably wrong

Starting point is 01:52:29 but there are firms that are doing a great job waymo argo yes i'm aware they have one of them tesla's trying to use like video camera only interpret it off of camera and other people using lidar which gives them like a 3d image and it's easier to do self-driving with it yeah having said that even though i think the approach is wrong i'm glad the government isn't locking it so tight that they're saying that innovation gets stifled and they say well not on our roads put it on our roads people suck at driving no no innovation is not being stifled and even if if tes played by the rules, it wouldn't stop innovation. It wouldn't. It would just make them less money. But one thing that baffles me about Elon Musk is this.

Starting point is 01:53:14 His salesmanship is remarkably effective, but not on me. I hear this guy speak, and I think, oh, my God, is everyone looking at the same imbecile I am? He can hardly string a few words together without stuttering and sound insanely he sounds stupid as fuck he can't speak he i mean people rip on joe biden for his stutter watch elon musk elon musk is fucking whatever illiterate is for talking. That's what Elon Musk is. When I watched Steve Jobs speak, I wasn't captured by it. I was so absorbed that reality distortion field. That's a term people use.

Starting point is 01:53:55 When Steve Jobs spoke, he put this reality distortion field in front of everyone. And we'd be like, yes. Oh, my God. The best pointing device ever created is my finger you're so cray I buy into this bullshit that Steve Jobs would give me hook line and sinker Elon Musk it doesn't

Starting point is 01:54:14 work on me but I do acknowledge that it works because you've been making fun of someone with Asperger's he does have Asperger's that's not why we're making fun of him he has the abilities to become a tycoon is this news Asperger's. That's not why we're making fun of him. He's got his disabilities to become a tycoon.

Starting point is 01:54:27 Is this news? It's very obvious he has Asperger's. Asperger's plus his South African accent is really a winning factor. His reality distortion feels super effective. When he speaks, he sounds dumb as fuck. I completely agree. He doesn't actually say anything. I saw him on the JRE.

Starting point is 01:54:49 Dude, he speaks one, maybe two words a fucking minute. Yeah. Say something, you dumb fuck. Your head's supposed to be filled with thoughts. Joe Rogan is like, oh my God, he's such a genius. I have to get the genius out of him. It's one of the hardest interviews. He's not saying fucking words. Say words, Elon Musk.

Starting point is 01:55:04 You're not making any points yeah well in the in the realm of like tech style geniuses often they're not expected to be very good like having conversations you know yeah like it's almost like like if i see some like if i see the guy who invented ibm computers and he's like riffing and he's got a tight five i'm like this guy didn't invent shit. If he's up there struggling to make eye contact, fiddling with his shirt buttons, I'm like, this guy's

Starting point is 01:55:31 got it going on. This guy's got no science. He's relatable to the Asperger's crowd for sure. I gotta go, guys. This was fun. Thanks so much. I'll see you again in a couple months, crowd for sure. I got to go, guys. This was fun. Thanks so much.

Starting point is 01:55:46 I'll see you again in a couple months, I'm sure. Hopefully I'll get the date right next time. Congrats on the new house, Kyle. Very nice. Stay out of trouble. Stay ripped, boys. I'm going to talk about that. I'm going to get that TRT going. We're going to see how that

Starting point is 01:56:02 works out. If you message here, I'll send you the info. Okay, cool. Thanks, guys. All right. See you later, Matt. Take care. All right.

Starting point is 01:56:14 Always an easy show with him. Yeah, Matt's great. Yeah, he's such a good guy. An easy show with him. Yeah, just a great guy. I like Matt a lot. We are going to hear from a couple of sponsors before we jump into the second half of the Just the Boys show.

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Starting point is 01:58:07 Yeah, Kyle's got the hat they sent us. I literally I got a message from the guy that before the episode went live and had just gone live for patrons. And he messaged me like, oh, my God, like so many people are ordering these. And then I got some follow up tweets from people that were like, I didn't listen to your disclaimer, but we'll get to that. Are you or a loved one sick of mediocre or even bad THC alternatives? I know I am. We've got a great deal just for you. Death by Gummy Bears has you covered. Death by Gummy Bears was founded by a group of passionate professionals who were sick and tired of low-quality Delta-A

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Starting point is 01:59:44 That's a, that's a huge, huge, huge deal. Everyone's talking a fifth of it. My God, you can get these ones. They sent us a new package configuration. There's 25 gummy bears in here. Each one has 100 milligrams each. And so it's very dense.

Starting point is 02:00:02 I'm telling you, I said it on the last time they advertised with us a couple of weeks ago. If you're not, if you don't have a tolerance, start with one foot, one foot of the gummy bear. I want to go bite a foot right now. Wait until like another hour and I'm serious. Wait and then do a foot. It takes an hour to kick in, though.

Starting point is 02:00:21 Go grab it. Go grab it. Bring it back and eat a little. Just one foot. This is good content. Here's the thing. The spray coating is legit. I've seen in products I've bought before.

Starting point is 02:00:33 You can see where it's spritzed on there. You can see it. These things are legitimately 100 milligrams. Apparently, I've never experienced that before. They are so goddamn strong. I've worked my tolerance up to three that's i eat three if i want to really don't take three anyone please please no three and i'm not joking you're gonna have a rough day you're gonna have a rough next 16 hours if you take fucking

Starting point is 02:00:57 three of them but i'm telling you if you if you're someone with a tolerance to weed and stuff like this you know what you're doing i won't insult your intelligence if you're someone who's like i want to try this this, you know what you're doing. I won't insult your intelligence. If you're someone who's like, I want to try this new product, get a little nice buzz while I'm relaxing at night, just something gentle, literally one foot off of the gummy bear. Not from the waist down, you maniac. Not both feet. Quarter out one foot, and that's genuine.

Starting point is 02:01:21 And I say one foot because that's such a low dose that there's no way someone's going to eat a foot and get too high. Like, if anything, you're going to eat it and be like oh that you know this is less intense than i thought i mean less intimidated now that's the same same gummies yeah yeah that's just different pack all right so so here's here's how to think of think of it the thing's 100 milligrams obviously like like you could easily put it on a kitchen scale and slice into 10 slices and have 10 milligram doses and 10 milligrams is a good starter dose. One tenth of that fucking bear is a starter dose.

Starting point is 02:01:49 You have to reach your thumbnail in and peel the actual secured part. It is childproof. I was like, I work out all the time. Oh, it's easy now that I've had instructions. Okay. Woody's all show. Those are all show moths because he can't even get his

Starting point is 02:02:05 legal weed gummies out of his neck. Both feet? One foot. You're serious about one foot? I want people to see that one foot's not scary. I think you should eat both feet but not the whole waist. There's a difference between the feet

Starting point is 02:02:21 and the whole waist. If he had a dick, do not eat where his dick would be. Eat where his ankles would be. Well, I mean, go up to the thigh, but just don't go any higher than that. Okay, I think that's fair. So that's like a fifth of it. I wouldn't roll with that. I think let's roll with that.

Starting point is 02:02:40 Yeah. Okay, well, now you're nibbling on it. He did exactly what I told him not to do wait wait what did i do wrong he enjoyed the flavor i told you you ate where the watermelon it tastes like watermelon no this is really dude the birthday cake flavor rocks it's great i know all right yeah this is strawberry jam i disagree with all of that i think the peach is the best uh flavor by far it is the one that close that tastes the closest to actual candy if you even care about that sort of thing but i don't know how the stuff is priced on their site but they send us this big boy box that's got like

Starting point is 02:03:16 many many uh little 1000 milligram packets in it and then like yeah like taylor showed you before the 2500 milligram jar is jar is pretty legit. I don't know if they're going to – do they have the other products up yet? I'll tell you guys about that after the show. For this, just the gummies for now. Okay, cool. Yeah, just the gummies for now. But, yeah, they're very strong.

Starting point is 02:03:38 If you don't have a tolerance, start with one foot so that you feel – because I've done that with edibles before where I take – you get high get high on in the minute and you're like i'm gonna get blasted and you take a bunch and then five minutes later you're like oh maybe i was too aggressive and then you're kind of waiting for it to to kick in too hard it usually doesn't though you're like oh i got worried about nothing but yeah start slow start slow you wouldn't start out a night of you wouldn't go to a friend's barbecue and drink half a fifth of vodka as soon as you got there. That'd be an insane thing to do.

Starting point is 02:04:10 And so, start slow with the gummies. Very high quality. I hope you guys like them. Yeah, I actually told my Uber driver about them today. He was like, really? And they're just legal? I used to love edibles. Well, get ready to take off, motherfucker.

Starting point is 02:04:26 I was taking edibles while I was moving. So I had this really steep driveway. And I walked up and down that steep driveway one thing at a time. I really wish I'd had a pedometer on. I would guesstimate 15 miles like yesterday. Why would you do that to yourself getting high before moving oh it's it's easy my feet were so swollen i literally wanted something for like for that because i was just i've been on my feet eight hours a day for three hours in a row carrying

Starting point is 02:04:55 stuff um it's it's it's been an it's been a goddamn ordeal like i'm my knee my knees and uh like shins are black and blue from bumping into shit. I kicked the same piece of gym equipment twice in the span of five minutes yesterday and I screamed curses into the cul-de-sac. It hurts so goddamn bad. I don't know why I put

Starting point is 02:05:18 myself into that position. It was just procrastination and then had to go. I just underestimated how much shit that I own. Especially after purging for a whole day. Did we do lock and load? No, we did not. And of course, as always, this episode brought to you by Lock and Load,

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Starting point is 02:06:12 Yeah, trademark PKA. Don't do that. Mental trademark. Mental trademark. So code Jizz or PKA. Code PKA if you're more of a traditionalist. Code Jizz if you like to live on the wild side a little bit. One penny for usage. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:06:28 So I thought getting high while moving would help. Just like tolerate how awful it was. Because like, I don't know. It's been a while. I'd be worried it would make me unmotivated. Like I'd be like, ugh. Now I'm feeling like tired. No.

Starting point is 02:06:44 If anything, it's like we gotta go i kept looking at everything to do and being like you're not even fucking out loud you're not even fucking close to being close to being close you bitch boy you got i was like like i would take these little i would overheat and so i was shirtless the whole time wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses like doing this shit because the sun's beating down on me it's 100 degrees very cool yeah i look pretty fucking sick i'm gonna be honest i look at myself i was overhead pressing a tv at the time it was it was a good look um but I was – and I'm drenched in sweat. And anyway, it got a little hard. But I think that's just all the blue to you.

Starting point is 02:07:30 Yeah. I had the worst time I've ever had moving. Can I interrupt you, Kyle? Yeah, please do. Where is it? Oh, so I said – Kyle said he's moving. And I'm like, I'm in the gym hitting PRs. I was really excited because I –

Starting point is 02:07:43 And he replies, you don't know what a workout is until you've muscled a king-size Casper mattress down a hill into a U-Haul. That's harder than any bench press. Oh, yeah. You know what I did today? I grabbed that thing like a goddamn ant, put it on my back, and took it up the steepest flight of stairs you've ever seen.

Starting point is 02:08:09 And then a hairpin turn! And set it up. I did that before we started the show. Well, you're all set up for after show, right? Your TV's not set up, though. Everything but the TV. I've drilled the thing in. I'm going to hang it as soon as it shows up. I can hang it by myself now. I just underestimated how strong I am, if I'm being honest.

Starting point is 02:08:31 You can hang it by yourself? Yeah. I thought you had to have someone back there to screw it in for you. So the way my thing works, the TV has a bracket with hooks like this. I'm trying to do fingers. Oh, yeah. And those just hook into the other bracket. And then when you let the TV go,

Starting point is 02:08:48 it bumped the bottom bracket bumps into, uh, the rep, the part on the wall and then put a couple of bolts in here and here and it's all locked in and then you can, you know, articulate. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 02:08:59 Mine's like all screwed. Very, very easy to hang. Yeah. You know, you've got the basically, yeah, he has a base on the wall,

Starting point is 02:09:06 and then the other part hooks into the base, and the rotation and gravity holds it in. Yeah. You can't screw behind the TV. I'm curious if you did it wrong. No, no. I had to have a guy come over, because it was one of those brackets that you obviously mount to the studs and then it has like those two bars

Starting point is 02:09:31 and i bought it from samsung because i'm like i do not want a fucking one that's not going to work so i got one that was like not from samsung but like samsung recommended and that's what it was it takes four because there are four screw holes or six screw holes in the back of the tv and they all line up with it and so you needed to like bolt them all in so i had to hold it up while this fucker was like back there the ones i've seen half of it goes on the wall half of it goes on the tv then you put them together so that put it on a tv stage you're talking about happens in on the comfort of your bed while you attach oh okay no i don't even have a tv in my bedroom i'd never watch TV

Starting point is 02:10:06 as I'm going to bed. It would just keep me up longer. When I go in the bedroom, that has to be my time to sleep. Otherwise, I would just fiddle around and just be watching shit. I've always had one in the bedroom. Obviously, when I was a kid. Did you guys have TVs in your bedrooms as kids?

Starting point is 02:10:22 I did. As an older kid, yeah. It depends. As a young kid, I did. And then when we moved to Ocean City, I lost it. I got a big glass screen TV when I was 15, I think. My entire childhood, I had a TV. As long as I had a room. Maybe second grade, I had a TV.

Starting point is 02:10:38 It wasn't a cool TV. It was pretty small. It was one of those TV-VCR combos. And then I got better TVs as the years went on. So I've always had one in the bedroom. It's a new bedroom, though. I haven't decided. I kind of want to take this enormous, heavy motherfucker

Starting point is 02:10:53 like I was telling Matt, stick it on the wall over there so I've got lots of screens like Fahrenheit 420 or whatever. Not Fahrenheit 420. That's a different book. 451. And that would require a new TV or a projector. I'm real big on the idea of a whole fucking projector

Starting point is 02:11:14 system in the bedroom. Like hanging down above the bed, beaming into the wall, some movie quality shit. There's... I recently shopped for a projector. I've had projectors for seven years now. I'm not an expert, but maybe I know more

Starting point is 02:11:29 than someone who's never had one. There are two varieties, and the market is shifting from one to the next. One variety is lamp-based, and they're old incandescent light bulbs that get really hot, really bright, and that's how they project on the wall cool

Starting point is 02:11:45 the trouble is those bulbs are the low-end cheap off-brand like knockoff ones are like a hundred bucks and if you get the one that like sony says you should get it's like five hundred dollars and you need one every year this blows oh right right suddenly your fucking lamp budget for your projector is more than amazon prime but the fuck not only that not only that you can't use this projector frivolously and not feel a little twinge of regret like oh we're we're burning bulb right now let's not fiddle around figure out what you want to watch before we turn the projector on right you don't just leave it on and go to the kitchen and do your whatever or who knows what

Starting point is 02:12:26 burns them maybe the heating and cooling cycle burns it and you should run oh my god if you're not going to turn it off continuously would have been better than yeah yeah if i'm only gone for 20 minutes maybe i don't do it go through this heating yeah fuck all that what's the alternative laser so uh a lamp based projector is going to be like a cheaper one is like 1800 and a cheaper one on the laser based spectrum is like 2500. You can see you're practically making money here. And okay, so that one's four grand. Mine was by LG and it was 2500. And it's a laser based projector. And they don't get as hot. Their fan not as loud and i guess they say they last forever i imagine they last forever like led light bulbs last for 20 years you know they say they do but

Starting point is 02:13:13 they really don't but it's going to last much longer than an incandescent bulb let me ask you a question you might know the not know the answer to because i don't understand laser projector technology i mean i guess i do that as much as like i know how the words put together mean a thing oh it's projecting lasers of an that are making an image i get that i do not understand the technology when 8k becomes a thing why can't it project that higher definition is because it doesn't have enough output of lasers to create that pixel density or like i'd love like an expert to know the answer to that you nailed it kyle i totally don't know the answer to this so that looks so so that looks really cool is there somewhere you think you can go and like

Starting point is 02:13:58 demo something like that but because before i click a button on four thousand dollars man i'd like to see it once. Yes. So I actually had that experience recently. And the demo place that I saw anyway didn't have any in stock. And they only sold the higher end ones, like $6,500 projectors. It turns out that their market, at least where I went, was for people who were building home theaters. And the idea that the projector was two months away wasn't a problem because the furniture and the carpeting

Starting point is 02:14:31 and the construction and all that shit was in the timeline anyway. So they're just like the last people to come in and sort of do the finishing touches. But if you're like me and it's like, oh, actually, I was just going to mount it on the ceiling of this room and a screen on here

Starting point is 02:14:48 and a thing on there and that's as far as I wanted to go, then something like Amazon would be a better fit. But you can go to the store and see what they look like. I use blackout curtains in my bedroom anyway. It can be high noon and it's blacked out out you can't see shit

Starting point is 02:15:06 it's uh it's great for a healthy lifestyle and uh so i could totally use that as like a little i mean i don't need movie seats seats i got one of these wedges for my bed like i got the biggest wedge pillow amazon sells it's for fucking people on you know it's a really good sex pillow and um but it also would make a great movie pillow i could chill in bed and watch the thing so like honestly the idea of a four thousand dollar projector sounds a lot better to me than what does a four thousand dollars what does four thousand dollars get you in a tv like what is a four thousand dollar tv probably like 85 inch samsung right does samsung go bigger than like 85 for like my observation is 85 is like the top end currently of normal and if you want to get to

Starting point is 02:15:55 even like 90 the price doubles like it gets stupid right past that yeah 130 33 grand out goodness wait what what what wait no this is a projector laser home theater projector oh ultra short if you see ultra short throw in your projector you know that it's junk do you see it sitting there on the entertainment center yes i do i've used projectors like this they're junk yeah yeah so that is a hint that it's not a very good projector that does look weird well i'm fascinated because i don't know i've got a lot of i've got a few hobbies right now but the thing i always go back to when i just want to chill out and like relax or you know it's it's nice it's movies and really good definition and uh like going back to my classic

Starting point is 02:16:42 movies and seeing them um i um i don't know i remember the first time i got a dvd and i got to watch some of my favorite movies on that little bit better quality and every time a new uh format came out i was excited to see what alien looked like or to see what the godfather looked like to see if i could see some film grain that i didn't see before some shit so i'm kind of interested in this i might do it hmm also you get a few out your audio oh that would be fun i'm about to do some audio anyway in the gym it's time to do like the fun part video seems like the fun part of building a theater audio seems like it would be audio is the part that like audio can be so striking when you've got good surround sound and And if you haven't experienced that before,

Starting point is 02:17:25 it's like, Oh, Oh really? So that's why there are awards for sound engineering. There's something going on here. You can really be in a three dimensional. I just meant like based on this, when I was looking at home theater stuff like a year ago,

Starting point is 02:17:40 like on the forum, I was looking at people will be like, I got this 3,500 projector. And then the real spending started once audio got, I got wind of audio. And it's like, I always imagined in my head, oh, projector is the big thing. Then you get some speakers. But they're like, no, three grand on my projector because they post their builds. And some of these guys have like, they're obsessed with it.

Starting point is 02:17:59 They'll have like $7,000 projectors and then literally 20 grand in audio. Like absurd shit, like implanted in all the walls. The thing about audio, my observation is like, and this is true with mics and speaker type stuff. The first, like in speakers, the first couple hundred dollars gets you a big quality difference that even a normal person can notice. After you cross that threshold, maybe you spend a grand or so on a surround system, the differences get pretty subtle. You might be spending your money in the wrong spot. I would argue that if you spend more than, maybe I'm out of date, $1,500 on speakers, you probably should have spent your money on wall treatments and room

Starting point is 02:18:43 carpets and shit like that before you spent another grand. No. I remember it being a small little boutique thing. Our $3,000 speakers are as good as someone else's $7,500 speakers. They would compare the materials made and stuff,

Starting point is 02:18:59 but I don't know what they are. Maybe there's a label on the speaker. I'm going to put something in the in the garage uh in the gym and uh i don't know i want in the garage i just did bullshit like i bought a jbl bluetooth speaker and um my i have a paramotor friend that has one and he would play it outdoors and it was like that thing sounds curiously good and you know how outdoors is so hard to fill with sound? Everything sounds like shit. It was sitting on a flat deck trailer.

Starting point is 02:19:30 This is one of the worst acoustic environments you can think of. And I'm like, this place is actually kind of jamming. That speaker is working. And I bought basically the same thing and I've used it next to the pool. Again, a tough acoustic environment. And it did well. So I didn't put a lot of money into my gym speaker.

Starting point is 02:19:47 I might pick your brain a little bit more about audio stuff because I'm about to spend a little money. I ordered my... I got the cheapest Titan rack today. I decided to do that. It's literally $380. Yeah, it's $380. For post rack, I assume. Yeah, it's got like the plastic

Starting point is 02:20:04 J-cups and the push pin things. And, and I was like, that's literally all I really need. That's, that's all I really need. And so I think I'm going to, even you.

Starting point is 02:20:12 Yeah, no, there's no fucking way. Like, like I don't do 700 fucking pounds and that's what it's. You don't have to do 1500. And 800 won't. The thing is 800 won't break it.

Starting point is 02:20:22 900 won't either. It'll make it wobble. That's the, they don't mean 900 breaks this thing they mean 900 makes it wobble to us kind of a scary way fuck that it won't break till you get to 1300 i bet did i've seen uh coop from the garage gym reviews drop like i don't know five six hundred pounds on that amazon rack that cheapest shit Amazon rack, and it ate it. It ate it. It didn't do anything. Metal is so much stronger than us.

Starting point is 02:20:48 Even shitty iron and steel. I don't mean to be humble, but I'm not I do have some money to spend, though. Yeah, yeah. Any building material blows us out. I don't know.

Starting point is 02:21:03 I'll kick the ass out of insulation. Yeah, or a tent maybe. Not even that. The tent's got nylon. How many pounds does it take to rip nylon? A million? Something stupid. I've got to get an elliptical, and I may get a functional trainer.

Starting point is 02:21:20 So those are the next two things on the gym list. I'm going to start working on the flooring out there as soon as I get my boxes and everything unpacked oh I forgot this so no I'm going to get it from the hardware store and then I'm going to

Starting point is 02:21:38 scrub it I read you scrub it down with that green clean stuff in the outside of the sun and then dry in the sun and hit it with the sun and then like dry in the sun and hit it with the hose and like they think you can degas it and like like like 90 95 percent of the way so i'm going to do that to that stuff so you get that rubber smell out of the out of the flooring so yes probably not super airtight like if it was your bedroom gym or something like if you were converting an inside room it's you know your standards are reasonably lower i'm gonna make

Starting point is 02:22:08 it airtight though i'm gonna make it airtight okay now i'm going to get some sort i'm gonna i'm gonna get that uh ceiling stuff for the door they made like kits to do that and then one way or another i'm sticking an air conditioner out there if it means i have to cut a hole in the fucking garage door and put a port there then i will just count the cost of a garage door as the the price of getting the business does your garage not have a window no it's solid you're 100 sure your entire garage has no window blacked out okay all of them are here it's it's all of them are here yeah i don't have a window like every like every neighborhood i drive through it's that we all have the same one like like i i don't know

Starting point is 02:23:00 yeah in my area and in new jersey every garage had a window growing up garage that was on the side of the house and there was a window on the side of the house and that's kind of where the light came in. Yeah. So moving out of the place, um, you're required to have it professionally cleaned. And I was like, Oh,

Starting point is 02:23:16 okay. Well, no, no problem. And they're like, and the carpets. I'm like, okay.

Starting point is 02:23:19 And you have to leave receipts, um, of, you know, the, the, the, that you got those things done.

Starting point is 02:23:25 And I was like, oh, okay. So you don't need to clean. You just need receipts that it's cleaned. And if you don't, it's $450. It's $450 they charge you. And I was like, man, let me look into this. So I called the – oh, I asked Kitty. She had a professional cleaner do one room of her house, $55.

Starting point is 02:23:44 And I was like, ooh, in my house, that's going to add up to, yeah. I'm like, that's going to add up to $150, $200 in my house. So factor that in. And then I called a maid service, actually three of them. The lowest they quoted me was $520 to do a move out cleaning. So I called the landlord people and I'm just like, hey, so it's $450 if I don't do anything, right? And they're like, yes. Oh, actually, no, sir. It's $420.

Starting point is 02:24:16 Oh, only $420. I'm like, well, you should probably call a boss or a manager or something because I'm going to let you know right now i'm not cleaning at all because cleaning costs 750 and not cleaning only costs 420 and she didn't seem to care so oh that's where we are now be fair, when I say I didn't clean, I vacuumed and got anything bigger than, I don't know, this big. A baseball. I didn't clean fairly well. But what I didn't do is I mopped the floors.

Starting point is 02:24:57 I didn't scrub down any of the appliances. I just left it. What if you had a steam cleaner rental bill? Oh, they said professionally clean though that would i just feel like you could rent it from home depot for 50 bucks ish and no they want receipts from like known people or some shit like i can't even like okay yes and uh if they hadn't threatened me with the 420 i was going to clean the place thoroughly myself i had had it in my head i'm like

Starting point is 02:25:25 man i got a lot of mopping to do i you know and i need to scrub the oven i was going to do all that but when they they came up the 420 penalty was like all right well fuck y'all just deal with it clearly they know somebody will clean it for 420 yeah they're workers i don't think they have employees that do that it It's a real mafia-type system where the higher-ups are completely disconnected from any sort of bullshit. There's no way to get a hold of someone who can do anything. There's only the person who can put you in the system in a different way. There are no higher-ups. put you in the system in a different way.

Starting point is 02:26:04 There are no higher-ups. When I told her to get a boss or a manager, she was like, oh, yeah, I'll tell a manager. I was, you talking about leaving a place in somewhat disarray made me think. A couple buddies of mine, probably starting about six years ago up until about three years ago. They lived together for like three years,

Starting point is 02:26:25 my age, there were roommates and they had the filthiest fucking disgust. Like, have you ever seen those apartments where everyone's walked in so many times to the same paths without taking their shoes on that? Like the carpet becomes almost a weird composite of dirt and mush. Like it was that all around their entire apartment like it got to the point by the end where like they would joke like they'd be like you want anyone want to come over

Starting point is 02:26:49 we'll like go to a bar and we'll watch the game and i'm like i'm not coming to your place it's gross come to my house it's clean like candles and they were uh they had an outsour uh porch just a small wooden porch there on the second floor. And on the porch, there was a door for a closet for like if you wanted a grill or something or to keep your charcoal out there, just whatever. You put it in the outdoor closet. And apparently they were getting a little lit day drinking one day. Both of them, I wasn't there. And another buddy of mine who is, you know was the marine very very prepared for things and they were all getting drunk and everything and my buddy was grilling out there and apparently he was too drunk to see if the coals actually went out after he removed the coals and so he took the

Starting point is 02:27:37 coals out put him back in the coal bag put it in the closet and then closed the door the outdoor closet and the way my buddy my buddy shout out tim he was like and we were just sitting in there and he's like and he wasn't nearly as he's like i wasn't nearly as fucked up i'd had like one beer or something and they were all just black out almost and i just started smelling smoke in there you know what the hell like what's going on and so i walked around their whole apartment trying to see what it was. I look out their window, black smoke all over their porch. I'm like, fuck. So what'd you do?

Starting point is 02:28:10 And he's like, I immediately went, there's a fire. And he was like, and I realized, like, in that state, none of our friends knew what to do at all. And so I went out there, opened up the door. They followed me out. And I went, it's so in it. He says, this guy's he's about five nine he says the flames were taller than me he said the entire closet was a flame to where like when he put his hand on it before he opened like it burned like he had to

Starting point is 02:28:37 pull it off open immediately it tried it like he said backdraft the movie i guess he was just he's trying to no probably not and he was like he was like oh and my buddies apparently not him were just standing there like dumbstruck just staring at it and he had to like orchestrate it and be like alex bowls biggest bowl you have water now matt second biggest bowl you have water go steve grab it, you hand the, Alex, you fill it up. You hand it to Matt. Matt, all you do is drive it to me. Like, Steve, you go out there, open up this door. And he said it took like a full 20 minutes of firefighting.

Starting point is 02:29:15 And the entire, like they, apparently they were like very close to just hitting 911 because they were worried it was going to burn the apartment complex down. But they got it under control. And apparently when they moved out, they did not check the status of that outdoor closet because they got their their deposit back despite their their entire apartment being shithoused. Like it was it was collapsing, like borderline collapsing onto the patio. So yours is not looking that bad compared to my retard friends who lit their patio on fire

Starting point is 02:29:49 my uncle almost set our house on fire all my childhood I was starting fires that's not that unusual we'll be less Kyle for a second starting fires too I love that as a kid we got your back bud yeah everybody started fires as a kid that's normal right

Starting point is 02:30:12 my aunt oh my god Zach my aunt burned down her house with her grandkids in it twice fool me once shame on me I'm starting to think she's not a good babysitter no no Fool me once, shame on me. I'm starting to think she's not a good babysitter.

Starting point is 02:30:27 No, no. That's not a try again thing. If you're like aunt or uncle, burns down a house with more insurance money. The story keeps going. What the hell is going on with your family? Some of the stuff Zach says. She got charged with arson and fraud yeah awesome damn yeah so my my uncle was handy look at kyle's frozen face my uncle was handy and we had some plumbing work to do so what he did is he he was um soldering pipes you know the brass pipes you

Starting point is 02:31:02 solder and make them watertight and he hadn't removed enough of the flammable stuff around it. So the insulation caught and the fire started running up like into the house and he didn't want to burn our house down. So he just grabbed the burning building material and started pulling it out and throwing it on the ground. Well, like my mom and dad would take the insulation and put it in the kitchen sink and put it out and that was like the process he's just grabbing flames from inside the house throwing it on the floor my parents put the flames out and he saved the house well he almost burnt it down let's not make too big a hero out of him but yeah yeah he he resolved it so turned out all right yeah i never started fires as a kid in dangerous places.

Starting point is 02:31:46 It seemed like what Kyle said. If I do it out in the yard or on concrete, it'd mostly be little small scale, fucking around with matches if I found them. How small? Like waist high? Oh, not that big at all. Like teeny tiny little fires.

Starting point is 02:32:03 I was too nervous to start any itty bittyitty the worst i melted i i melted a gi joe that i or a army man that i was holding in my hand above my other hand and i got a bunch of molten plastic on it and that that got me to not do that anymore because i was like i get part of me was like look at it melt i was just so infatuated with seeing the the dripping of it that i didn't notice dripping fire is a neat thing yeah yeah it's very i used to so i was a boy scout i really really really like campfires that's still true i need like i have campfire flavored candles around the house now like i'm i don't know maybe i'm like at the soul of an arsonist but i really like campfires and um i would just so look forward to these weekends like once a month our boy scouts would go camping and it meant the world to me. Like I just loved it.

Starting point is 02:32:49 And sometimes they get canceled because of weather and shit. So it just, it wasn't enough. And then I realized like, you know what? Like I'm really good at starting fires, which is still true. If you're at a campfire,

Starting point is 02:33:00 you want, you're the guy. Yeah. You want me, you want me there. Like all these people who think they can start a fire and i'm looking at it i am the fucking fire starter that you are crab eater i i i just i'm like okay imbeciles yeah like can't you see all your mistakes don't you see that

Starting point is 02:33:17 should be a chimney right there that should be a cabin right there like you should get your shit together and um uh and like i'll look at a fire that's not burning well and just easily know like what adjustment to make to make that fire do what i wanted to and uh even you know by the time i was like 12 i was good at this so after school i would just be like you know starting fires is free i can just do this i I can do this as a hobby after school. Mom, if you're watching, it was by that recycling center in the woods. Yeah, I would just go and start fires. Sometimes people would come with me.

Starting point is 02:33:52 Sometimes I'd be solo just out there burning shit, collecting wood and making fires. I liked it. Just creating potential problems. But it seems like he had a good run. No cataclysmic problems he had to pretend he didn't do. Not that one. I've told the story so many times in the field we burnt down that was the we were playing war someone else started the fire told me to put it out my dumb ass it's just like i'm not putting it out it's warm and uh

Starting point is 02:34:19 then it got out of control quickly it's too warm it's too warm oh yeah and to do that fire it was like five acres and like 150 feet tall and like houses were in danger 150 feet tall oh yeah it was like twice the height of the trees nearby and shit like it wasn't just that like our town's fire department came then like the adjacent towns and the adjacent towns to that it was like a five alarm four or five alarm fire it was a really big deal how did you so you didn't did you get in trouble for it no the guy who started the fire took all the blame and it wasn't just the police it was the fbi came and investigated it and he was like well the smoke bomb wouldn't start with the match. So I lit the four foot tall dry grass on a windy day that held the smoke bomb up to it. And then I threw it and I told my friend to put it out. But maybe he didn't even rat me out.

Starting point is 02:35:15 He said he wouldn't. And, you know, and then they got out of control. So they just put him on David DeVore. And I'll never forget that. But yeah, he fell on the sword took all the blame he did start the fight a hero yeah and cool of him to take the rap it was yeah he didn't try to pass off responsibility or anything but it was funny how like every idea i had to put out the fire was just a few seconds late like at first i pat it with my hands but

Starting point is 02:35:43 if i'd stomped on it it might have been controllable, but if I had stomped on it, it might have been controllable at that size. Then I stomped on it, but it was too big to put out with your feet, so I took my coat off and hit it. If I had done that a step earlier, that might have worked. And then multiple people started beating it with their coats. And if we had been doing that 20 seconds ago, that might have worked. But every idea we came up with was just a step too late and eventually it was like we need grown-ups here someone get grown-ups got an adult like that's still my go-to move when you when you saw the fire totally getting out of control were you nervous like i was nervous it was blowing toward so mostly like there was woods between

Starting point is 02:36:28 the houses and the field and i felt like that was going to be a buffer layer at least a slower burning fire that they'd be able to deal with but at the end of the fields where the fire was blowing to was where my friend lived and i was like fucking we burnt down jason's house i was just like it's going to jason and jason's like yo that's my house it's going to my house and i'm like yeah it totally is you're right it's going to your house and like sorry jason fire departments was just putting water on jason's house so that it was a little more fire resistant when it got there and uh as far as i know his house was fine i don't maybe like a heat damage or something but um it you know it certainly didn't burn it down or anything like that

Starting point is 02:37:10 have you seen those clips where like there's a big field fire and like the farmer gets out like in front of the flames with his like combine and he just like cuts all the grass out in a stripe i think that's so cool and sometimes they're like i'm like man that guy's doing a good job really tight like threading that needle and other times they're like 20 feet from the flames and like what i do is i watch like where he is or like where he was and like where the flames are and it's like oh like i i'm like i as a kid i was like oh like that's how fire works if it's not on you you're fine but like you realize like no like you're a big fire will like cook you like a like a grill from from yard like 100 yards

Starting point is 02:37:51 away so yeah huge that's very scary hey kyle how are you i think it might be a coincidence because there's a thunderstorm going on right now we're gonna pretend like that's the case but um rest assured i will do be all better next yeah it's really by week his internet will go from 10 to 20 to even 30 megabits per second that's the hope that's the hope remember when 50 was the bomb like no wonder that guy has a 3kd he's got a 50 megabits i had three fucking via what was verizon's thing fios maybe uh i wish i had fios i had cable double mont cable gum log oh gum log fio sex as it is you never even heard of my shit that's a thing now like i mentioned this before but like when you buy a home, look at the bandwidth. You can assume the place is going to have 220 power. You can assume it'll probably have water pressure.

Starting point is 02:38:50 Check that out. But internet, they sell houses with bad bandwidth. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, absolutely do. I did not do that. I'm just having some sort of equipment malfunction or this thunderstorm. I haven't. We'll never know. We'll never know.

Starting point is 02:39:07 We'll never know. Come on. Come back, Kyle. I like the faces he makes as he disappears. He does. I'm so hot. Have you told everyone you have no air conditioning? I'm not sure.

Starting point is 02:39:21 No. We talked about it pre-show. I felt like talking about it during the show would make me fixate on it more but like now two hours how hot is it it is i'm easily in triple digits in my office right now triple 100 degrees maybe you should have a coffee as a hundred plus yeah dude i'm i'm drinking so many waters so fast i'm like, Kyle, come back. I need to refill my ice again and get some more water. I'm so fucking hot. Yeah, it went out Tuesday or Monday

Starting point is 02:39:49 late. Can't you ask the boss for an ice water? Just send her a text. I'm not sure. She was out with family. I'm not sure if she's home yet. Okay. Yeah, it went out too late Monday to do anything about it. And then Tuesday got someone to agree to come out yesterday.

Starting point is 02:40:07 And I was like hoping the whole time that like it wasn't going to be a huge thing because like the guy went like I even thought I was like, I'm not even going to check my filter that got changed like four months ago. Like, well, I'm not even going to do that. And the guy came in and the first thing he does is like check the filter. And he's like, oh, this this could be it right here. Look at how dirty this is and i'm like the guy who the last guy had like where there's an issue with the heating like he just on the side different issue was like you want to change these every like six months to a year and apparently over like the four or five months it's been in there it's accumulated like well over a year's worth of bullshit on it is it low what do you mean low the filter like I find that if a filter is mounted towards the top of the wall, you don't

Starting point is 02:40:48 need to change it very often. But if it's down by your shins, you need to change it frequently. Yeah, yeah, it's down by the shins. So that could be it. But he then like we replaced the filter and he told me that it's actually the motor that blew out. And I asked him like like what would cause that and he's like well actually because like the area i'm in he's like you're you know lower or on a

Starting point is 02:41:10 certain side of this road and that means a different electrical grid and unfortunately the grid you're on is not as reliable as that other one and so you get more surges and so apparently a shit ton of people in my area without surge protectors on their motors just had them blown out. And so now they're going to figure it. Would they now they know you're lower than a road. Now they know I'm lower than a road. You're fucked. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:41:37 And so like that sucks. And because so many people with the same kind of heater or AC, I guess they all need the same train motor. And so this company said, he's like, I, cause initially when I was talking to him, he was like, you know,

Starting point is 02:41:50 like this has been happening a lot, but we have a lot of these. It's we see you, Kyle. He's like, and even I know I'm like train, like that's a huge company. They're going to have that shit.

Starting point is 02:41:58 And he was like, ah, they're not, we ordered them probably in Tuesday. And so I've gotten until Tuesday to deal with this. It is. I am so sweat i switched to a black shirt for the show because i'm sweating through fucking everything

Starting point is 02:42:09 i have that brand it's so awesome it's one of my most flattering shirts i like them i'm in there i'm in their double x i'm sweating through it like nobody's business it is it is brutal in here right now it's got to be over outside in the coolest area of my upstairs, my living room. The thermostat says 87 right now. And it is markedly hotter in here. Was that Kyle exhaling frustratedly? I have his audio, but his video is frozen. So he might think we have no audio.

Starting point is 02:42:40 No, no, no. He may have left thinking it didn't work as well as it did. I would take audio, Kyle. Yeah, we should get audio only, no. He may have left thinking it didn't work as well as it did. I would take audio, Kyle. Yeah, we should get audio only, Kyle. But anyway, this is miserable. I am running off like 10 hours of sleep the last three nights combined. I'm waking up. I'm doing that dance where I get so I go to bed super hot, you know, but I need a little bit of blanket on there.

Starting point is 02:43:04 And so then I wake up and I'm soaked in sweat. So I take the blanket off and then I lay there and I get like a chill, like I'm getting sick because I got a box fan just blowing on my sweaty body. And then I wake up, put the blanket back on. I'm sweating through my shirt. I bet I drank two gallons of water today, probably almost a gallon just on this show. Like, and I'm sweating all of it out. I've peed twice in the last five hours i bet i've drank two gallons of water this is i heard kyle giggle at my my horror no no you're good zach you're solid uh yeah this is this is rough you really take ac for granted man ac is huge dude you want to hear about my acro toe club drama yeah what's up so

Starting point is 02:43:44 here's what's happening. The last time we went, which was like three or four weeks ago, a couple planes went by. And I think it was me because a nice plane got particularly close to me. I don't know what it is, twin engine Cessna or that one with the fucking parachute in it. But in any case, a plane gets particularly close to me as I'm on tow. So I'm like 2,000, 3,000 feet in the air and a plane goes nearby. They see me. Maybe they see the line and they report us to the FAA. Now the thing is, what we're doing is legal.

Starting point is 02:44:19 We're not breaking any rules. We know the rules. Real quick, Kyle, can you switch to audio only? See if that keeps you in longer. I think we might be good. I don't think it's going to matter. I think if it breaks, it's going to break, honestly. Okay. Sorry to interrupt, Woody.

Starting point is 02:44:35 Go ahead. So we get reported to the FAA, and one of our members is an airline pilot and just good at talking to the FAA. It's harder than you'd guess. And he explains the rule. The FAA doesn't even know which set of rules governs ultralights because they're really not focused on us. They don't want to deal with fucking people hanging in

Starting point is 02:44:56 lawn chairs and hammocks and shit. They want to deal with commercial airlines and FedEx and Delta and shit like that. So he teaches them the rules of ultralights they say we've confirmed that you're no not in any trouble at all and we think everything is cool but just to double check he makes sure that the army corps of engineers is okay with us launching off of their beach and i'm like what why cause of trouble yeah the army corps of engineers were walking like 10 feet across their beach on launch. If we're really careful, maybe we can not touch it at all. We have permission from the landowner, the guy who lives on this little tiny peninsula.

Starting point is 02:45:35 He owns, if you picture a triangle, he owns like the inner triangle. But the very edge, the beach, is the Army Corps of Engineers. Sometimes we don't even touch the engineering land. Sometimes we just launch from his yard and he loves us um sometimes you know maybe you run all the way to the beach before you get in the air and now they're fussing at us now they worry that we have to get permission from them and they want us to get a million dollar insurance policy which maybe we'll do and name them as co-insured. I'm a little bit, I'm not an insurance expert. So lame.

Starting point is 02:46:07 I don't, I feel like it's, it's American land. I already own it. Why do I have to like, why are you making it so hard for me to use American land? And I'm not damaging it. Can I ask you this?

Starting point is 02:46:22 Maybe I probably wasn't here for this part. What happens if you just keep going there and flying off? That was my idea. I was like, what is the fine? $250. I'll pay it every weekend. I hope it comes with a BJ, you know, like I don't give a fuck about you. You know, it'll just be a cost of doing business. But the club had a bigger, a better i thought which was like oh if we do this knowingly in violation what happens if something goes wrong like someone gets hurt or you know then you could be like it's an illegal it would only matter if that that would only come to play

Starting point is 02:46:59 if you literally like crashed while taken off from the beach into someone and hurt them. Man, that's an odd. I think here's the scenario that I would imagine. Like everyone in the club is so trusted, right? They're not going to sue me. Yeah. Put that to the test when we're talking about their next of kin, right? When some single mom loses her breadwinner and now she's not going to sue the rest of the club, hoping to make good on it.

Starting point is 02:47:23 Like, so, uh, um, yeah, yeah. Some sort. And what if, what if it's an activity that's not approved?

Starting point is 02:47:31 So there's two ways this could go. We could either get approval from the Army Corps of engineer, which would be nice. Or we could go to a different Lake. The other Lake is 20 minutes farther from me, but it's better. And the town nearby is better. I don't recall what it's in tennessee oh yeah so it's not

Starting point is 02:47:48 very close to um the heartwell but um the lake the launch spot looks a little better it's a little bigger and i like that i think knoxville is nearby so that gives us like real facilities perhaps a better hospital you know shit like that i think the army corps of engineers will just say yeah like like is they would only be concerned if you're going to be around they're like damn and like any of that infrastructure like like generally speaking i don't think they give a shit about the beach like like boaters are doing crazy shit there all the time they don't care that's totally true like i feel like what we're doing to the army corps of engineer is not any different than like water

Starting point is 02:48:29 skiers when you ask permission make it when you ask permission make it set it's it's a boat thing right like like you're yeah are you talking you're talking about launching from his yard or when you do the the boat stuff the boat stuff you know yeah oh well then just word it to them like it's you know an advanced fucking uh what do you what do you call those things you pull behind a boat that the the bullshit float whatever you call those the toboggans i think they might be called yeah make it sound like advanced tubing yeah yeah right fucking just be vague yeah we just do what everyone else does we sort of attach a line to the back of the boat we tow ourselves around it's a blast right he doesn't need to know that line is fucking six thousand feet long i i i would bet money they'll say yes

Starting point is 02:49:18 like i hope so on the lake i feel like they'll say no just because what's their incentive for saying yes. Hey, can we have permission to do a thing? No. I would say this exactly. I would say, hey, I've had this issue with these other guys, and they said I should have permission from you for some reason before I do it. We like to ride around on a boat, and we pull each other around on rafts,s on seaters and sometimes we would throw a parachute on and they thought maybe you'd have an issue with some of that stuff i would admit that i love it

Starting point is 02:49:52 sounds like it sounds like 90 of the time we're out there on keyboards and then occasionally we get on a parachute you know we're wild he's picturing us 15 feet in the air yeah i would say that i like that we should have had you but be honest but don't give away anything you don't need to right right to be honest we'll have to grab a tube but but we can make that happen because we never tow two you know what i was thinking um and maybe it's just a stupid idea is there any way to combine the paramotor with a motorcycle because in my head i was like obviously if you were riding the bike and operating the whole thing it would pull you off the bike and the bike would be left behind because you can't hold on to the bike tightly enough but if there

Starting point is 02:50:35 were some sort of apparatus to balance that bike underneath you maybe you could use a dirt bike and make that your sole source of power and you could do little hops like you get enough speed you could use a dirt bike and make that your sole source of power and you could do little hops like you get enough speed you could get enough speed on your bike to like fly for a little while and then it would slow down and you yeah that that sounds like a recipe for injury i think it sounds like the the a way to decapitate yourself or something right this is just cheating he's tethered to the ground that's the lame part he's yeah untethered go somewhere i wonder if that's so that you can park and like mountain dismount or if it has no if they haven't figured out the gyroscopic nonsense yeah they did i guarantee that so they get on and off

Starting point is 02:51:21 yeah i mean that thing looks neat i want to see a video how high does it go does it rely on that ground effect so sometimes i see technology and i'm not sure if i'm being trolled by some guy who's good at like after effects or something and like right i saw a video of some quote-unquote firefighters in dubai with jetpacks on like the Rocketeer. And I was embarrassed to send it to anyone because I thought it was like that baby giraffe video. I was like, am I stupid and gullible for thinking that there are jet pack wearing firefighters in Dubai? Or is that just the future?

Starting point is 02:52:04 I don't know. Have you seen the jet pack wearing search in Dubai or is that just the future? I don't know. Have you seen the jetpack wearing search and rescue people? That seems dangerous. I go both ways because jetpacks don't take you very far or very long. It's a trouble. On the other hand,

Starting point is 02:52:17 someone broke a leg at the top of the ski slope. It would take a long time to hike up that slope or even to take the lift up you know if someone's not there you can jet pack up a mountain in like 90 seconds it is a quick way to do a small could you lift someone though like i think the idea is that you provide aid your first aid you know you can bring your slings and your tourniquets and your morphine that makes yeah you could i've seen them talk about it a lot for saving people uh on mountains and with as much like uh mountaineering videos

Starting point is 02:52:51 as i've watched lately that's a thing that happens a lot although god you would think that most of the people get into those situations are so fucking dumb like they make a massive mistake and that's why they're in the situation of them yeah yeah usually that's not just one thing it'd be it wouldn't be so bad if you hadn't left your phone at home but you also let your water expire or something or like the plastic got brittle and you've got so brittle that you can't right and you know your phone was your gps and you don't have a paper map and you're this and you're that. You're fucked in six ways. Because you were a little fatigued,

Starting point is 02:53:31 you made a navigation mistake that you wouldn't have otherwise made. Cascading mistakes is a thing. People lose their lives. They lose their family members' lives. I really like those stories because I genuinely think that maybe I'm learning something by watching them, and I'll be less likely to get myself in a stupid scenario.

Starting point is 02:53:59 You're roboting out right now, Kyle. I'm not some like... An example. I'm not a total first responder cocksucker. I mean that by the guys who fillet them just for being first responders. But I do like them a little bit. I am one of like... Mountaineering first responders are just...

Starting point is 02:54:23 Really? I don't know. Semi-heroes. Kyle thinks he's telling the story. mountaineering first responders are just a really i don't know like semi heroes when that motorcycle guy in my group ran off the cliff last night um that was fucking amazing to to see those guys come and they had all their winches and they like secure the motorcycle and they put the guy in that like sled and pulled him up the hill. Extremely competent. The people in my group could barely get up and down the hill. It was so steep.

Starting point is 02:54:52 And these guys were like billy goats just walking up and down it like it was flat. I was very impressed. So you have respect for the first responders. I do. Not over the top like, cops. I think cops get filleted way too much already. Am I using filleted wrong? What is the one that Ramsey did? Ramsey? Fillet. No, flay.

Starting point is 02:55:23 Flay, yes. That's not what I'm saying. Alright, I have it right. I was afraid I had it all wrong. yeah, I just... Look, of course there's good cops, but there's so many bad ones. Or ones that let the bad ones be bad ones. I'm just mad at cops right now. I see the shield and I think it's shameful.

Starting point is 02:55:47 I do not care for cops either. I don't know if I agree they're getting their tires pumped a lot because I see, I think, just as much overwhelmingly negative stuff about them as I do positive. There's no one who's like, cops, take them or leave them. It's just people are like, they're murderers. Or it's like, they're heroesers or it's like they're heroes they're soldiers they're the bravest man alive but you know when you interact with a cop it's like oh i'm so sorry officer i apologize for my speed is there any way you could give me a warning

Starting point is 02:56:14 just this one time god you look good today and your shoes are so shiny like like that's the fucking flaying that cops are expecting uh when uh when they pull you over and it's what i give them it's i i'll kiss a cop's ass for sure and i'm an effort to get out of a ticket but um they don't deserve i hate it i hate it they don't deserve it it's they're not helping people very often no very. It seems like almost the opposite where it's like, you're getting off on this. You dick. Like,

Starting point is 02:56:49 yeah, which I imagine like, cause there are good police officers out there. There are like, I imagine a lot of them. Cause like you can see across the country, like how, how much cops are dropping off as a profession because a lot of people are

Starting point is 02:57:04 just like, like, do you like, like, do you see, like, I think it was Chicago, like new hires for the Chicago city PD, like over from like 1920, 21,

Starting point is 02:57:13 whatever it is. And it's like dropped by like 90%. It's gone from like the hundreds to like how many new people have applied in 2022? It's like, Oh, 41. It's like really 41 in Chicago.

Starting point is 02:57:24 The third biggest city in the country 41 people must be easy to be a cop right now or or not easy because if everybody's quitting it'd be less you think you think they'll take me wait wouldn't that be job openings oh i thought you meant like it'd be easier to be like it'd be oh because like you'd have to be would have been better phrasing it'd be like you'd have to you'd have to pick up other people's work. Someone tell Mitty about these Chicago opportunities. He could go from crab cop to cop cop. I wouldn't want to be a cop in Chicago.

Starting point is 02:57:54 Fuck that. I wouldn't want to be a cop at all. Like I would, I would be so easily like manipulated by people. They'd be like, please don't give me a ticket. I'm on the way to work on this. And I'm like,

Starting point is 02:58:04 God, you're right. That's reasonable. You know, I'd be like your day. Officer, look, here's my wife. I just need 20 more bucks. And then 17 after that. It's like, all right, I'm going to level with you, sir. I'm on my dash cam right now. You critique these next five voices I do for you. And guess what? Somebody's driving home with a couple of laughs and no tickets. So, okay, just hold people hostage while I do bad jokes. How long does it take to become a cop?

Starting point is 02:58:32 Like six weeks, right? Full weekend, man. How long is the police academy? Let's look. Like an hour and 40 minutes. Like if you just decided on a whim to how long 16 according to the internet oh that is pretty long i mean it's not good enough to be well see i was just thinking it would be like like what if you just did it on a whim what if you just thought it'd be funny to become a cop for a little while as a bit like like four months isn't even that bad like if you think about it that way like a taylor if you

Starting point is 02:59:09 got to like show up as a cop and be like look they just gave me a gun and a badge like i didn't even like i didn't even try if you were a cop kyle would be hilarious do you have anyone in like your backstory that you'd target? If I were a cop? Yeah, I'm like, if I was a cop, who would I give tickets to? At first, I thought my friends because it's so funny, but that's not actually funny at all. It's actually me.

Starting point is 02:59:37 I mean, if I just became a cop, I'd have my own little jurisdiction. You'd have to make me some sort of federal agent to be able to go around you don't have people i don't like see he uh in this case who would who would know how to fight crime better than a criminal no i would uh i literally thought about that the other day that if i weren't i hope i'm not breaking up i'm not am i you're good you're good now you're working i thought about that the other day that if i weren't i hope i'm not breaking up i'm not am i you're good you're good now you're working i thought about that the other day that like if i weren't a felon like a funny long-term bit that i didn't tell anybody about would be to become a cop

Starting point is 03:00:13 as a gag like i really do think that would be fucking hilarious like just to show how like low effort it it is to become one how like non like do it as a side hustle yeah i'll make that my twitch goal i'll start streaming again and be like all right get this many subs and i'll go submit an application to the local pd how about this how about this day if they pay for your do you have to pay for the police academy to enter or how does that imagine so i feel like that would be paid i think you are hired as a cop and then they send you to this training on the payroll. Here's another question. If you join a police department, I got it.

Starting point is 03:00:51 I got it. You're in a pyramid scheme. So then there's the idea of just being deputized. Right. deputized, right? Because that, I believe, I think a sheriff can just say, you're a deputy, and swear you in like the fucking Wild West, and it's legit, right? I mean, there is a paperwork.

Starting point is 03:01:14 Don't get me wrong. I have no idea. And I don't know what deputy's power is either. You know how the queen knights you with a sword? It's no more absurd than that. They just make you a deputy. I had an American Airlines pilot give me wings when I visited the cockpit as a child.

Starting point is 03:01:31 That didn't make me a pilot, though. He can hand those wings out to anyone. Yeah. Marinating on that bit of information. Yeah. Have you ever attempted to board... Have you ever attempted to walk... Have you ever attempted to walk into the cockpit while wearing them?

Starting point is 03:01:51 God damn it, Kyle. Alright, he's back. He's back now. Maybe. I saw his lips go, am I back? And then nothing came out and then I heard you say, where were we? And now it's coming in.

Starting point is 03:02:12 I think Kyle's right right i'm reading this sheriffs have power to deputize people just like forming a posse in the old days uh while deputized the deputy had all the powers and protections of the sheriff including the ability to use deadly force to capture a felon. I just need to know a sheriff who could deputize me. Then I could kill felons. We got a lot of listeners. So there was a... Oh, are we hushing for this, Kyle? Is this what you hushed me for?

Starting point is 03:02:42 So that we could hear your intermittent voice every once in a while? Did you hushed me for so that we could hear your voice every once in a while hush me across your walmart story on your walmart internet connection it is it is unacceptable i like we need to go xbox days and insult him as if it's his fault his internet connection is so bad i like how every once in a while I can just see the frozen Kyle go to dejected frozen Kyle. Yes, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 03:03:10 He's like, tell a story. You're not back. We're only hearing one out of every ten syllables. It's funny though. His audio frame rate matches his video frame rate. I've detected Kyle. Kyle, this is a bad episode for this.

Starting point is 03:03:32 I need to get up every so often. I'm so hot. It's so hot in here. I was banking on Kyle being around for the last hour so I could go downstairs every so often, get reacclimated to a human temperature. So wait, you have downstairs air conditioning no it's just it's so much cooler downstairs because it's my because of the heat rising what is your window open uh no well earlier someone was mowing their lawn out there and i didn't want to open while people were doing that uh i probably could now then i just replaced the heat problem with heat and pollen then probably because it's still like did you try the zyrtec remember when we suggested i did i did and i keep forgetting

Starting point is 03:04:12 to do it daily but the days i remember it's much more pleasant it's like a cumulative sort of i don't want to call it an ssri it's totally different but it's like that in that you want to have it in your system every day i I hate this. This is new day. Are you okay, Kyle? What were we talking about? I thought it was interesting. I don't know what you were talking about. I think the story started with hush. And then

Starting point is 03:04:37 you were gone. We were talking about becoming a police officer as a gag. I can easily defeat Kyle in a debate when he can't. Oh, yeah. No, I was literally looking into this one time. This has been years and years ago. But there was some other way to get deputized.

Starting point is 03:04:55 You would become like some sort of a New Mexico, like, I don't know, like land officer or something like that. But it came along with the same basic privileges as a deputy the way the law was written and you got a badge and a gun and some people wanted to come to an arrangement yeah like matt's friend um so that's definitely a thing that i think you could like i think if you had enough like sway that you could definitely make that happen. Isn't that what Steven Seagal did and somewhere or another,

Starting point is 03:05:29 Steven Seagal lawman. Oh yeah. Right about Seagal. I'm right about Shaquille O'Neal. And there's another one. I might be thinking of Seagal. I didn't know Shaq was a cop or an honorary cop. Yeah.

Starting point is 03:05:42 Shaq's actually a really cool guy. There's a UFC fighter. A really cool guy. There's a UFC fighter that regularly fights crime. It's this black guy. I can't think of his name right now. Is it something? I can't think of it. There's been two different scenarios where he stopped robberies and choked guys out and held them for the police

Starting point is 03:05:59 until they got there. John Jones has done that, but you might be thinking of Kevin Holland or something close to that. I think it's Kevin Holland. Yeah, yeah. That guy's awesome. I think he won his last fight. I think it was a couple weekends ago.

Starting point is 03:06:11 Is there a big fight coming up? Did you fight outside the UFC? I didn't. Some of the heavyweights are fighting. Maybe. Chael Sutton keeps talking about it. Chael is taking 30-second points and making nine minute videos out of them on the right. Chael is getting a ton of views.

Starting point is 03:06:31 Tell, tell is trying to branch out his brand. You can see him diversifying, trying to make some family stuff in trying to make some opinion stuff in that has nothing to do with the UFC and maybe tangentially create. He's working on his brand and it's going well. He does have that, that looming court case with you know those half a dozen people he beat the shit out of in that hotel or whatever

Starting point is 03:06:50 he did whatever it is he did um so i don't know what he's what's going on there but his youtube channel i've watched it grow like really carefully like his viewership and his upload schedule like like he's raking it in over there uh he definitely has multiple i'm a i'm a huge jail fan a huge jail fan there was a period of time maybe three years ago i could have told you i've watched almost everything he's ever said you know all the espn youtube like i just watched all the content that existed and now like he'll have an alluring title i click on the video and it's like you know whatever is kyle gonna jump to the third stair this weekend that's not a nine minute topic it's kind of a yes or a no you know like like that's what are we doing here tell me something about your insight on this

Starting point is 03:07:38 jumping feat i want to know more but you wax philosophical for nine minutes, 12 minutes on a yes, no question. And I'm, you're losing me. It's just too much. Yeah. He's, he's just trying to keep up with his upload schedule.

Starting point is 03:07:52 He's got, he's got some, someone telling him how many to upload and he's killing it. And you see DC trying to catch up. So it's a, it's, it's fun to watch that game get played out. Yeah.

Starting point is 03:08:00 Those guys trans transcending from traditional media to like into the YouTube space space and doing it pretty slickly with the help of the UFC and ESPN, of course. It's nice to have that whole incestuous situation where they can cross-promote from brand to brand and everything. The UFC's cool that way. They don't seem to be too stuck up about stuff like that. I feel like they have their friends you know like daniel cormier that's true on and they're in dana white's races joe rogan yeah i feel like joe rogan can do no wrong i i feel like like dana white recognizes

Starting point is 03:08:36 that joe rogan brings to like i don't even like it as much if joe rogan's not there i really dig him i really do i always have i felt like that you don't anymore no it as much if Joe Rogan's not there. I really dig him. I really do. I always have. I felt like that too. You don't anymore. No, I think some of the other people have gotten as good or better at fight analysis. DC is only good, in my opinion, in very specific wrestling engagements. That's his real knowledge base. But anything else, he's not that's his that's his real knowledge base

Starting point is 03:09:06 but anything else he's not great at his job i don't think uh i think dominic cruz is pretty fun and i really do like uh michael bisping um yeah i think michael bisping is a lot of fun yeah um i agree with all that i'm trying to remember who the other ones even are paul daly I don't like. He's terrible. They always pull him in between rounds. How's your scorecard? And he never has anything interesting or insightful to add.

Starting point is 03:09:31 Is he the black guy? Yeah. I'm pretty sure that was him, right? Yeah, he's bad. I didn't recognize him before. They added him to the crew whenever, I don't know, months back. I don't know. Is his background in fighting, or is he like an ESPN talking

Starting point is 03:09:46 head? Yeah, he's a fighter. He's a good fighter. Oh, well, shit. Well, he's terrible on the microphone. They should fire him. Yes, it is a microphone-based job. He's no longer hitting anyone. This UFC 276 is huge. It's July 2nd, so it's

Starting point is 03:10:02 this weekend. Two title fights, Adesanya versus Cannoneer and Volanovski versus Holloway. Volanovski versus Holloway is interesting because I think the first time they fought, I'm making up numbers, but I'll call it

Starting point is 03:10:18 like 40% of people thought Holloway won. 60% thought Volanovski won. A lot of people thought it was wrong, but it wasn't crazy. The next one, kind of the opposite. Most people thought Holloway won, but the judges said Volkanovski did.

Starting point is 03:10:35 This is his third time at the same fighter. If I have my facts right, which is rare. You don't usually get three cracks at this. The judges have stolen the fight. The judges have stolen the fucking belt from the champion twice in a goddamn row. Everybody in the media wants to suck Volkanovski's little dick

Starting point is 03:10:54 for some goddamn reason. Max Holloway is a bad motherfucker. He wanted to fight Khabib. Remember when he wanted to step in and fight Khabib? He wanted to fight DC. He was the 145-pound champion and he wanted to step up and fight Khabib at 155, but he couldn't. You know why? Because he couldn't cut enough weight. That's how big he walks around. That's true story. He beat Volkanovski both times. It was a tragedy both times. And I would bet a lot

Starting point is 03:11:20 of money with anybody here. Maybe I don't care to go on line and gamble. I don't care that much. But Max wins this third one. And then they got to run it back again. That's the problem, right? Because Volkanovski has to get his shot right back at the title. You have to do the quadrilogy. Yeah, shit. If the guy won two already,

Starting point is 03:11:38 you really need to do a best of five or seven, to be fair. And then, to be fair, that whole division is fucking held up forever because they got two alphas at the top just sparring back and forth over and over. I wish that they would. One of them needs to die or move up.

Starting point is 03:11:58 Or age. I think Holloway might age. So Max Holloway has been in some of the biggest fights there are. He's taken a ton, a ton, a ton of shots to the chin, and he's known for having a blockhead that doesn't get hurt. And somehow that seems common in Hawaii. Hawaii and Mexico, you punch these guys in the chin,

Starting point is 03:12:20 and it doesn't seem to bother them somehow. But eventually, chins break you know all this yeah that's a weird thing uh my my little theory on it and it's based on a documentary i watched once about cte i think and it's i talked about i've talked about it before that gel layer between your skull and your brain that's like your little cushioning i think that that gets um like degrades from concussions over time and and you get less shock absorption so each um concussion after each concussion is worse than the last one right because it's doing more damage you have less shock absorption i think that's what what it really means when someone doesn't

Starting point is 03:13:04 have a chin anymore in boxing when this guy was just eating that shot for years and then suddenly that shot that he ate hundreds of times before and now he can't eat it yeah right that's why he ate a hundred fucking times hey that's all he could tell he's gone yeah so i just remembered i had a gummy. I'm starting to get... I'm like, what is happening here? I hope it won't lag out. I forgot all about the gummy.

Starting point is 03:13:35 Just know you ate more than we wanted you to. What? I thought I smashed these instructions. It's going to be fine. what i thought i i thought i smashed these instructions be fine i felt like you ate where the dick was maybe i did it just seemed like so little you'll be fine you'll be fine nah i know that's it's hard to illustrate that point effectively enough because you look at it and you're like, no way. Right?

Starting point is 03:14:05 No way. But I'm telling you, I ate three of them when I first got them, and it was such a nightmare. Am I lagging? Tell me I'm not lagging. Your audio seems fine. Did that work? Yeah. Well, see, your audio is a little behind. That's workable.

Starting point is 03:14:21 One, two, three. Actually, just then you were, and now you're frozen. So you effectively don't have it. Your camera's freezing, and your audio's working, mostly. Wonderful. Wonderful. I'm really hoping it's the thunderstorm. I'm going to try a completely different ISP tomorrow.

Starting point is 03:14:38 I'm going to call someone else and get some quotes from them, and maybe just sidestep this whole thing. So do you live in a neighborhood with lots of houses yeah as opposed to a field shouldn't be a problem yeah yeah yeah maybe there will be competition if you live in a field as you probably know like there was one person willing to go out there that's it typically yeah i did bet. I unloaded the motorcycle today, and I went backwards this time because the ramp was a lot steeper.

Starting point is 03:15:09 Uh-huh. And it went pretty smoothly. That wasn't a big deal, I guess. I don't know what I thought was going to happen, but it seemed intimidating to do it the first time. Every time, you never dropped the bike? No. Oh, that's great that's great I haven't dropped the

Starting point is 03:15:28 bike since that first day you've only fell once ever yeah yeah that was terrifying those are rookie numbers Kyle you gotta pop up those see you're pushing see you're pushing the limit you're taking it to the limit you're walking the razor's edge over there. I'm cruising down the highway and taking it easy. Poor Taylor. Poor Taylor.

Starting point is 03:15:53 I bet that feels amazing. It feels so good. Can you imagine how good it would feel if you get a hole went up your ass? Getting inside the part where it was going in I wouldn't care imagine that I have no idea what it's like to put a can up my ass

Starting point is 03:16:09 I would not care if it was barbed like I would sit on it it is and if I hold this in my head any longer it's going to be too hot to drink Taylor while you left the you know what you could do is an ice water in a bunch your gummy kicked in while I left because like as you were kyle i was like oh my god if i lag out

Starting point is 03:16:30 yeah i was as you were gone kyle i was thinking like oh no that's gonna kick in soon and it might make him quiet but also i was thinking like when you're in show mode when you're in talk mode with weed like it's going to get depressed some and so i was like i think it's going to be after the show when woody's mellowed out that he's like oh okay now that i'm not like on guard like performing it's gonna gonna sink in and you'll relax but how's that amount treating you how are you doing yeah it's more than i expected because i had the ones that i had taken before were 35s so i would eat a quarter of it or sometimes even a half by this math what did i eat like 15 so put it so much more than like the quarter of 35 which i guess yeah you you ate chins down like you didn't you didn't just go

Starting point is 03:17:28 feet you ate a little uh yeah probably i would get zach that's probably right he ate about a fifth of it probably 20 milligrams not not anything crazy that's what i thought as well i thought i thought you ate like not only the little little feet little nubs there but i thought maybe you got some of where the dick would have normally been if it was an anatomically correct gummy bear, which you have to pay extra for for some reason. Hey, tell them that, Taylor. Tell them we'd like some gummy dicks.

Starting point is 03:17:54 I mean, I bet they can do it. But it shouldn't be just more gummy. I want it to be a little jewel of some sort. A little drop of sugar right there. I think they taste good. I like that. I like all of those. I'm not saying that I don't taste good.

Starting point is 03:18:09 Actually, the watermelon tastes good anyway. It's the only one I've tried. But just really the way this dick works, it should be like a shiny piece of sugar. It's not that they don't taste good. It's that it's decorative. I believe you believe that makes sense. I want you to feel safe and comforted having those. And loved.

Starting point is 03:18:52 I feel so sorry for you, it's a little hot here um i've had the air conditioner on on all day on 65 degrees and it's 67 in here so it's but outside it's so the inside humidity is 50 outside i think it's 100 i think it's just i think it's just water out there i think it's so the inside humidity is 50 outside i think it's 100 i think it's just i think it's just water out there i think it's it's so goddamn humid here it rained every day of my move and then it would stop and the sun would bake the rain so you couldn't even sweat anymore it was so it was so disgusting sucks yeah yeah is, this is horrible. I cannot wait until I have AC again. Just, I realize what a bitch we are. Like with all of our modern technology,

Starting point is 03:19:32 like if I didn't, if I had to go the rest of my life without AC, like I I'd have to move to like Edmonton or something. Like I have to live there. I would, because this is, if someone snapped their fingers and made air conditioning go away, I agree with you.

Starting point is 03:19:48 I would move to a climate that had, you know, in the summers it was 65 degrees or 70 degrees and the winters were brutal. Or I'd just be a snowbird like make that work somehow. I don't want to be disgusting all the time. No, no one does.

Starting point is 03:20:03 And the humidity like your eyebrows you look like on your skin split second you did like a nicholson wrinkly getting pretty high no how do you do what does jack nicholson sound like? Do a Jack Nicholson real quick, Kyle. Honey, darling, light of my life. That's where it is. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to bash your brains in.

Starting point is 03:20:35 I love that scene. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to bash your brains in. It's so expressive. Is that like the Randy Savage savage macho macho nicholson that no that would i'm writing a book in this place and it's gonna be the all work and no play makes johnny a dull boy that would that would be if anybody wants to see him if anyone's not going to see the shining for some reason just, just search on YouTube for the shining staircase scene.

Starting point is 03:21:10 And that might be my favorite scene from the movie because he's backing her up the staircase and she's swinging that bat and she's just terrified of him. Stay back! Stay back! And he is not afraid and he's just telling her he's gonna murder her as he takes these like maniacal steps up the up and making like jazz hands yeah making these crazy expressions and like just trying to spook her and terrorize her as much as he can because he's crazed love that scene that's what i'm just gonna keep doing my favorite movie that is a great film i like it a lot i wish i need to watch some Jack Nicholson, find out what he sounds. I know he doesn't sound like Stone Cold, or not Stone Cold,

Starting point is 03:21:49 whoever the fuck I was doing. No. Have you seen The Departed? Have you seen The Departed? Yes. Yeah, I have seen that. Okay. And in the beginning is when he's like, you know,

Starting point is 03:21:59 well, there's like seven racial slurs in his initial monologue, but he's like, back in the day there were Italians and Irish and all the rest I didn't care for. And it's like him going through that. Back in the day, we had real head hitter something. I remember that. He said back in the day and then talked about all his gang involvement. I have not seen that movie in 10 years.

Starting point is 03:22:23 So I have three Jack Nicholson recommendations they're all masterpieces there is as good as it gets that's uh older jack nicholson but still sexy enough to fuck helen hunt apparently so that's good enough uh he's got ocd and he makes friends with a little dog it's really cute and lovable it's on netflix the other is one floor of theuckoo's Nest. I only watched it once and it made me cry my eyes out because the ending is really rough. But it's Jack Nicholson in an insane asylum with a great cast of fellow inmates or patients and Nurse Ratched being one of the all-time great villains.

Starting point is 03:22:59 And then the other one is Chinatown. That's one of his earlier films. Young Jack Nicholson, L.A. Noir, a detective story that he thinks he's investigating impropriety in a marriage. But suddenly it becomes this much bigger story that's a big conspiracy. And he keeps digging into it more and more. And there's a beautiful woman that he's trying to like woo. And at the same time, save and kind of a classic story. I think it's black and white. Very good.

Starting point is 03:23:29 Very good. That'll get your Jack Nicholson impression down. Perfect. Okay. You get all three phases of Nicholson. All three phases of Nicholson. What the hell is that fucker? I know he doesn't. Damn it.

Starting point is 03:23:40 Now I'm just out. Now I'm out. Now I'm in that. I'm not doing anyone. You want to hear a Nicholson story? I heard a true story about Jack Nicholson relayed from a woman to a woman and then said on a talk show. But she said that in the middle of voracious lovemaking that had already gone on for at least an hour, he left the bedroom mid-coitus, went to the kitchen and consumed an entire apple pie before returning and continuing

Starting point is 03:24:05 to make love. Sometimes people do stuff and it just makes you be like, we're the same page kind of guys. What's better than that? A little snack in the middle? What's wrong? You're not eating it in the bed. You're not being rude. That's true.

Starting point is 03:24:22 You're being a little rude. He just needed to carbo-load you know like he needed a little more energy needed to get back at it uh obviously the original batman he plays the joker he's tremendous there too nicholson is is an amazing actor uh he's had just such a super career the cuckoo's nest is i have only seen that, and it was like only maybe two years ago that I saw it. That was a tremendous movie, and I didn't even know that Danny DeVito was in it. Like young Danny DeVito being like, hit me. Have we been talking about Jack Nicholson the whole time I was gone? You're goddamn right.

Starting point is 03:24:57 See, this is called time dilation. The word for today is time dilation. Woody's only gone for a minute and a half. He's gone for a while. He was gone for 95 seconds. Because I thought it was a really long time. I can't believe it's still going. This is like the first record.

Starting point is 03:25:19 I hit a PR today. You were gone for such a short period of time. We were just about to transition to sean connery which is an accent we have a much firmer grasp on so do you want a pka question a picture yes sir yeah i love those patreon.com pka 10 bucks for the questions the questions you want answered as long as they're good and look if you're going to ask a question let me give you some tips okay so sometimes you guys say something like and please do join the patreon i like answering your questions when they're good i try not to dog you guys because it seems so shitty that you guys have joined the patron you've utilized your ability to ask me this ten dollar question for me to come on and say that you look like an idiot the way you write and that

Starting point is 03:26:05 you didn't give me enough information to give you a real fucking answer and it may it's tremendously frustrating that you're so stupid that would be shitty of me to say because again that's right so he'd never so he'd never say i wouldn't i would never say that but for the sake of your question being answered properly the benefit of me not getting angry at like words on a screen here's some tips let's say you've got relationship trouble. Give me the full back story. We like tons of information, paragraphs, multiple paragraphs. That's another thing.

Starting point is 03:26:35 If you didn't do so well in English, get a friend to come and help with this. It'll be a laugh, okay, because some of these aren't written so well. I mean, just run on sentences. All right, lots of misspellings. Y'all don't have spell correct? Like, what is this? They're busy men. They're in a hurry.

Starting point is 03:26:52 What I'm saying is if you're going to ask a $10 question, make it count. Like, I want to answer your good questions, not – I mean, some of y'all aren't right. No, the details thing is right. I read all the questions. They're probably thinking, like thinking like oh they don't they don't want to do like too much details no if you're if you're doing like more details is better because then there's more to fucking riff off of absolutely or we know how to judge if your

Starting point is 03:27:14 girlfriend's cheating on you or if she's just like i don't know sleepy like give me all the information so that we can judge those questions i like those questions in particular when someone's like i don't know what's going on my girlfriend's been doing this that and the other my roommate acts like nothing's going on and i've seen them talking behind my back and so okay well they're planning a birthday party or they're fucking it's one or the other i like to get all the information okay i want to i want to change gears a little bit but i don't want to like leave where we are yeah let's do the question first i was like this might be time dilation but i think i mentioned actually no i'm real high too 35 minutes ago this is basically a stone episode like i'm real high too this thing is much stronger than i thought it was going to be and they say i interrupt but

Starting point is 03:28:01 i'm the only one who's not stoned. That wasn't an interruption. That was help. That was instruction for them so they can ask better questions. I kind of want to interrupt you one more time. Definitely not an interruption at all. Hypothetically, if you guys were 20 years old and uncircumcised, would you get the surgery or

Starting point is 03:28:21 stay floppy? Not if it didn't cause a problem. All right. A 100. All right. If you're asking our personal opinions, I will always go back to this. There are no women that I'm aware of that have an issue with a circumcised

Starting point is 03:28:39 penis. There are, however, women who have an issue with a circumcised penis and therefore i will bend to the will of the small chance that i'll ever be about to fuck a woman and she would say ew i don't like that if there's a one percent chance that could happen okay and maybe look if you're the type of guy who maybe – Then it happens to Kyle four times a year. Yeah. And think about it this way. Maybe you're not the kind of guy who gets a lot of opportunities.

Starting point is 03:29:15 Maybe like, oh, I've been looking for a girl for six months. Finally, I found one. And she says no. Are you going to risk that? No. I would absolutely 100% recommend getting circumcised because of everything I just said. It's as simple as that. And yes, it will hurt.

Starting point is 03:29:29 Yes, it will hurt. It will hurt tremendously. I have a friend who performed one. Vavity performed a circumcision, I think, on an adult man. Oh, I thought you were going to say himself. It was either that or he used someone who had had it done. He had firsthand information about the healing process. And apparently it's,

Starting point is 03:29:50 so the worst part is you wake up and you have like morning wood and then it stretches out that area where there is no skin on your penis and it's very painful. That's, that might cure the morning wood too. Yeah. Through agony. If you have somebody stick a thumb tack under your toenail, you also won't have an erection. That's what I'm saying. See, through agony. If you have somebody stick a thumbtack under your toenail, you also won't have an erection. That's what I'm saying.

Starting point is 03:30:08 See, I'm thinking ahead. No, Kyle, you're so... You're so wrong, Kyle. First of all, I'll say that willingly for no reason, genitally mutilating yourself for the prospective opinion of a needy woman out there someday. That you've delivered here. You said that

Starting point is 03:30:24 I'm so wrong. what about what i said was wrong let's point out the the part of my argument that was wrong yeah yeah the part where you said cut off part of your penis to appease a potential fictitious woman so in your opinion that's that is the most thing that you should cut off part of your penis for the pledge that is dude that that is the most beta shit you've ever said in your life so you do agree that everything is cut off the tip of your penis cut off the tailer do you agree that everything i said is factually accurate have you ever been turned down or heard of anyone being turned down for you're not going to answer that question are you going to treat like one of those politicians you're not going to answer it no it's factually

Starting point is 03:31:03 accurate isn't it is not factual it is a it is a construction if you want me to everybody keep talking good gesture how about you know what what what people are actually saying is a functional retard trying to have a conversation with his friend kyle and see he slipped a joke in there and so basically i'm saying that you are inventing a scenario in which this will happen there could be a woman out there who would turn you down for being uncircumcised if this guy does not have an issue with his dick skin like if his dick skin is too tight and his dick isn't getting hard obviously you need to get that taken care of but if it's a purely aesthetic thing don't willingly remove billions of nerve endings and make sex less pleasurable for yourself because of Kyle's made-up scenario of a woman maybe someday potentially turning you down. I mean, that seems like more of a self-control thing for you than the average guy.

Starting point is 03:32:01 And I love that your qualifying question was have you ever have you ever heard of someone getting turned down first of all i why would anyone ever admit that that happened answer you would have said yes you floundering idiot i know of women who have turned guys down and and and you're imagining that we're doing lying hour imagining, forgive me, you're imagining a scenario, though, where like a man and a woman get in a bedroom and she sees his dick and she turns him down. I think that's rare because that would be like super. That's what you said. It's like, man, we got it. That's explicitly the scenario you laid out.

Starting point is 03:32:37 And now you're saying that it's so rare as to be infinitesimal. Let me explain. OK. let me explain. What I'm talking about is a sneaky kind of way of letting the uncut man to the side. It's as soon as she sees a picture of his dick, maybe she just, that's when it stops. It's

Starting point is 03:32:56 going to stop if she gets a picture of his dick on her phone. There's no way. There's no way that there's 5-10% of women, I would say, turn. We need to talk. Uncircumcised men, you're the ones to answer the question because we're clearly talking about something we don't really know about.

Starting point is 03:33:11 I admit that I cannot speak to how high the percentage of women that just won't fuck a guy who's uncut is. But I can definitely say. You were an expert a few minutes ago. A few minutes ago, So a few minutes ago

Starting point is 03:33:26 you had stats, pages, documents, charts. My God. I hate stats. Forgive me, Taylor. It's a cosmetic surgery. You guys are going on and on and on.

Starting point is 03:33:34 The issue is that anything greater than zero is a problem. If there is one vagina on the planet that will not allow your uncut cock, then you should get that shit cut

Starting point is 03:33:46 off, alright? If there was a group of women that just didn't fuck... Absolute cockery. Where do you draw the line? I draw it at cutting my dick skin off. Voluntarily. For no reason. It's like a real gorilla man. I'm not that attached to my dick skin.

Starting point is 03:34:02 It's the dick skin that's in need of cosmetic surgery. That's the part you're talking about losing. It's like, I will not that attached to my dick skin. It's the dick skin that's in need of cosmetic surgery. That's the part you're talking about losing. It's like, I will not have lipo. Yeah, you didn't want that part of you. You guys are just Captain Cope on this. You don't need all those extra nerve endings. Yeah, those nerve endings would be fucking tight, dude.

Starting point is 03:34:19 Those would be awesome. Oh, really? Is nerve endings where the orgasm comes from? No. Yes. Literally, yes. Yeah, I can never come fast enough, yes. I wish my cock was more sensitive so I could come just a little bit faster. That would make my world so much better.

Starting point is 03:34:34 So go in there and cut off your dick skin. Your argument is so flawed. You're an idiot. You've been made a fool. You've been found wanting, and I'll have no more of this. Let's let the audience decide. Let's let the audience decide. Because willingly cutting off a piece of your penis for the opinion of a made-up woman is the most made-up bitch shit I've ever heard of. Most made-up bitch shit.

Starting point is 03:34:55 Taylor, I might be getting cosmetic surgery because I like the way I look. I want to like what I see when I'm in the mirror. That's why I get circumcised. Keep your dick skin, brother. Stay strong. Taylor, you only see half of my shirtless photos that I take. The other half needs circumcision. No, don't get rid of extra nerve endings, man.

Starting point is 03:35:16 Enjoy additional pleasure. That seems like the obvious response. Maximizing pleasure. Yeah, enjoy wiping your cock, you weirdo. Wiping my cock? what are you talking about yeah you know you know fish takes uh to the bathroom he takes a bottle of water and some tissue to like handle that that thing he's got down there you said that that was not an uncircumcised thing that was like an arab thing like that i know fish said that right yeah i choose kyle's

Starting point is 03:35:46 version because it's funnier yeah that is yeah i was i was trying to slip that i was trying to slip that one in i wanted to be fair um yeah yeah it's it i guess that's fair um he said there's a great ever see a bottle of dawn and some napkins by the toilet, then you'll know an Arabic was there. A bottle of water. You ever see a bottle of water in a bathroom? Yeah, sure. It was a bottle of water. So they could wet their dick and blot it dry.

Starting point is 03:36:19 That is bizarre. I got to admit, bat is a clean penis. If every time you piss, you're pouring water on the head of your dick and then blotting it dry, he's got the cleanest cocking down. That is cleaner than the other methods it has to be. I'll shake that thing a few times and it's going back

Starting point is 03:36:38 in there. I just blow on it. I go... In fairness, I think my lick it clean method is better than his water blotting method. Oh, God. Jack, hey, I'm pissing. You assume there's someone else involved.

Starting point is 03:36:55 You don't think all this gym work, I have no flexibility. I'm doing core, core, core, core day. Core, core, core, core. Oh, i've got a high ceiling i can't wait for a shot i got a high ceiling here i think the ceiling is 18 maybe 20 really are you talking about a swing but i'm putting a climb and row oh i don't know why it's i'm gonna be a sex swing involved no i i've uh i i just bolt that to an 8-foot ceiling. I got a little latch thing.

Starting point is 03:37:29 As I process it, I don't know why you'd want your sex swing from an 18-foot ceiling. So I... You'd be chasing her around. Hang on! Like hoist her up. Like a mainsail. Rider, like you're going from one pirate ship to the next.

Starting point is 03:37:48 I want to throw like a two or three inch climbing rope up there but I need a way to like get it out of the way because I'm not going to be the kind of barbarian that just has a fucking rope hanging from the middle of the ceiling, right? Because that's insane. But if there was a way that I could like pull another string and like coil it up up there, like

Starting point is 03:38:03 out of the way and out of sight. I really want to climb to the top of that ceiling and then slide down and shit. It'd be a tremendous workout. Climb into an 18-foot ceiling? I would like that workout. I was more impressed than... I've rarely been so impressed

Starting point is 03:38:24 as I was that time that you climbed up that rope in Arkansas. I remember that thing was tall too. It was like 40 feet and someone had just failed before us. Right? Like, like if I recall correctly and I'm a little high, like there was a fit person that couldn't do it.

Starting point is 03:38:42 It's like, I think I can do this, but I'm a can do this. I'm a rope climber. Am I good? One, two, three? Yep. Yeah, nightmare.

Starting point is 03:38:56 Woody and I split off from the group. We were taking a break or something from learning how C4 worked. I don't know how it came up, but I probably said something like, I could never climb that and what he was like oh that's easy i was like what you can climb that oh yeah and he just like went up it like fucking a monkey and i've never seen him climb a fucking rope before like that so it was uh it was pretty awesome i was like i was like that's i there's no way i can

Starting point is 03:39:21 climb that rope like that i don't remember if Kyle climbed it but but yeah I did not climb it no there was like a low-key part of me that wondered if that athletic ability had been stolen from me when I wasn't looking because that happens as you get older you know suddenly being able to do front handsprings is a thing you obviously know how to do and then it becomes not true and uh i was like i wonder if i can still climb rope i see a giant rope there it was really tall but i didn't lose that i guess yeah yeah that was tremendous that's been a that's been a long time ago like seven eight years ago at least isn't that crazy shit yeah time just fucking gets away from you. It's wild. I remember it wasn't...

Starting point is 03:40:07 Oh, I never told you this. This is funny. When you and I went to see Joe, I was stoned the whole time. Which time? To see Joe? The wedding? When we drove up there.

Starting point is 03:40:22 Oh, yeah. I was high the whole there. Oh, yeah. I was hiding the whole time. I didn't want to bug you with it. How did you even do that? We shared a hotel room. I was smoking in gas station bathrooms.

Starting point is 03:40:40 I was smoking in gas station bathrooms. That's hilarious. Like, Woody's your dad and he's going to get you in trouble? Well, like, I didn't want him to, like, I felt like him knowing would, like, put him in a position where he would then have to lie for me, potentially. And it would be better if he could just actually be ignorant of the fact that I had marijuana. So if a cop was like, did you know he had weed? It'd be great if he could honestly say no and, like, not even make Woody lie and tell a lie for me, potentially. So that was a bit of it.

Starting point is 03:41:10 And then not wanting to like, I knew he didn't want to get high. So it's not like I was being greedy or anything. And Woody had to stay up all night the night before our trip to do videos to keep up with his schedule. So he wasn't a great riding partner. So after I saw that the next time we stopped for gas i blazed up and uh and like every stop after that i had a i don't know what that is i had a chiller and a bag of ground weed and i would just go in the bathroom and load that thing up and hit it like five times as fast as i could blowing the the smoke into the

Starting point is 03:41:45 vent and then i'd run out to the truck and get it and we take off i used to do that in movie theater bathrooms that was the that's probably what contributed to us getting lost in delaware on the way back you blamed it all on me. But it was Kyle Blitz out of his mind. I didn't mean to blame it on you. I don't know. It doesn't matter. All roads lead to Rome.

Starting point is 03:42:15 I honestly don't remember what happened. I'm just thinking that maybe the marijuana I could do it somehow because I probably touched the navigation and fucked it up that's probably what happened but god there shouldn't just be one button that fucks everything up and apparently there was and it sent us to delaware i i remember we had the delaware key two different ideas on like where to go, what to do.

Starting point is 03:42:45 And we clearly agreed on one and the GPS was clearly set to the other. And I don't know how it happened, but I, it's probably my fault. Um, but, uh, we got home eventually.

Starting point is 03:42:58 I'll tell you what the worst part, I'll tell you how fed up I was like with how long that drive had gotten, not with you, but just the drive in general. Um, I left you at your house and it was like four in the morning, 4.30 in the morning, something like that, in Apex. I leave your house, bid farewell. I'm on the interstate highway, right? Two lanes, one way with a median. And I hear Woody's phone start ringing in my floorboard. And I looked down and there it is. And I pick it up and it's Jackie. There her lovely face is. I'm on the way.

Starting point is 03:43:42 I literally stopped in the middle of the interstate, went across the median and just went back the other way. I didn't, I didn't have time for exits. I just, I just made a U-turn through the median and went back and got him. I got him a small. Sorry about that.

Starting point is 03:43:58 I didn't make it home that night. No, it doesn't matter. It was a fun trip. I didn't make it home that night. I think I made it to South Carolina. Oh, that was, that was one of the more intense drives I think I've ever been on. I've been on some silly road trips, but that traffic was brutal.

Starting point is 03:44:13 Out west, there's a lot of stretches that go on forever. New Jersey smelled bad in both directions. Now Kyle thinks it always smells like that forever. Not many states, to be fair, look beautiful thinks it always smells like that forever it's just yeah didn't represent i'm sure and not many states to be fair look beautiful from the interstate you know you've usually got to get off into them and explore a bit to see the cool stuff but man does new jersey look terrible from the interstate it's like industrial plants with that steam coming out of them and like like smokestacks burning and like soap factories and shit like like it's rough it's it's rough stuff texas is kind of cool

Starting point is 03:44:53 with the refineries when you drive past a refinery you don't think industrial waste or low class you think that's where the juice comes from that's the good stuff they're like burn they burn the exhaust and so they've got that continuous flame uh burning from the smokestacks it looks cool you okay death by gummy shit hits different if that was 20 milligrams why is this the highest i've ever been it's real deal see we're not fooling folks it's good for people it's good for people at home that they saw this starts very shit is like truth serum too like this gets you lit yeah it's high quality stuff code pka 20 for 20 folks speaking of or well not speaking of this uh is there so all of the all my monitors the color is dimming and my computer sounds like

Starting point is 03:45:48 it's about to take off like my pc that can't be good right warm it's i just i touch the side of it hot hot hot hot hot to the touch uh is that gonna fuck up my pc long we've only got 14 more minutes so hopefully it doesn't long term i would i bet it's fine do you have any ice water such a you could no no i don't have ice water that you've heard of water cooled pcs before right so you just you want to pour that over the gpu and it'll it'll cool things right down okay i'll give that yeah anybody who's listening if a hose works good but but you know if you've got a little squirt bottle or uh or anything anybody's listening you ever have those overheating i mean everybody's heard water cool pcs you just do it people don't want to do i have heard of it i don't have one though but this is

Starting point is 03:46:35 the loudest i've heard this damage their pc i'm surprised it's not coming through the fuck yeah i mean i mean of course if you get the water on any electrical components that would be catastrophic but but if the water will be great for cooling everything down. Okay, I'll give that a go. And then next week, I'll be doing the show from a laptop. Makes perfect sense. This shit's just... Tarkov wiped.

Starting point is 03:46:59 Tarkov wiped today, I think. It's so hot! Maybe yesterday. This is physically the least comfortable i've ever been in the show this is i've been trying to be a good sport i'm so hot i'm so sweaty i'm so hot it's it's well over 100 you sweated through that shirt you sweated through that shirt two fucking hours ago it is not a a black shirt. It is wet. I could wring this out afterward.

Starting point is 03:47:30 I'm out of ice in my ice machine. Taylor, let's do a bit. So go change shirts, but bring that shirt back and wring it out into a glass. No, I'm embarrassed. Oh, come on. All right, it's fine. I don't want to do that. Your underwear, then.

Starting point is 03:47:50 Oh, yeah. Dude, that would be disgusting. I'm sitting in ball soup right now. Have you ever been so sweaty that your calves are just dripping? In a sitting, obviously, when you've played sports like you get that sweaty but i've never in a solitary you know static position gotten this sweaty ever and it's worse than outside because there's because my motor's out there's no airflow it's so thick in here it's so it's so I could grab the air. It's so fucking thick.

Starting point is 03:48:26 Oh man. Come on. 11 and a half minutes. Come on. I love this. So you've got, we've got me with my internet fucking killing me. Woody's high as fuck.

Starting point is 03:48:38 And, and, and you, and you just drenched in sweat. I really liked this show. This has been a great show. I wish that I hadn't had those interruptions because I've had just a blast and I've enjoyed

Starting point is 03:48:48 Matt. I hate that you're insufferable down there. Or not insufferable, that you're suffering down there. I guess you're a little insufferable. I forget the debate part. But no, I like that Woody got high as fuck because

Starting point is 03:49:04 he ate the dick i i watched you eat the dick and i was like i still oh can i can i see it can i see the i need i need evidence i bet it maybe it was even almost a third of it the eight which would be like i don't think so i remember maybe less much less taylor how much money would i have to pay you to crawl into a sleeping bag right now and sleep until 8 a.m.? Oh, dude, I'd pass away. I'd die. I think I'd actually die

Starting point is 03:49:33 if I got into a sleeping bag and slept. And all you can have to drink for the rest of the night is chili juice. Like from a bowl of chili. Like you strain the bowl of chili and it's that juice it's hot it's hot yeah unlimited drinks chili juice and and uh and high alcohol british warm beer you can you can have that the worst possible thing okay there's the one i ate versus a brand

Starting point is 03:50:02 new one okay so that's yeah right. About 20% of it. About a fifth of it. Yeah, maybe even less than that. Be careful, folks. Here's the other thing. It's a different chemical as well. I don't know. Maybe it's stronger than weed.

Starting point is 03:50:19 I think it's stronger than weed. Maybe I'm wrong. Specifically, these 100 milligram edibles feel like a fucking weed edible like they're so correctly dosed i think people have like thought delta eight was way weaker than it was for a long time because so many companies were like oh this is a 50 milligram edible and it really had like fucking seven in there so you i may be overstating it to say that it's stronger than weed. I really don't know.

Starting point is 03:50:46 It's hard to put a good grasp on it because I haven't eaten any real weed in so long. It's been since last October. Woody, you've got to have – I'm sorry, Kyle. What show would you recommend Woody to watch after PK tonight? Oh. Because he's higher than he's ever been. Bugs Life. Bugs Life.

Starting point is 03:51:06 A Bugs Life? Yeah. You think that'll be good, stoned out of your mind? Yeah, of course it will. Doesn't stress you out thinking about what if the crickets win? Or the grasshoppers win? No, I'm pretty sure that the ants are going to, or whoever, I've never really seen that movie.

Starting point is 03:51:22 I just assumed that, I didn't know it was so confrontational. You've never seen A Bug's Life? No, I'm not really into the Pixar stuff. I think I was a little bit too old to even appreciate Toy Story. I've watched it, and I know it's a good movie, but I'm not all caught up on it. I don't know.

Starting point is 03:51:39 Everyone seems to be. I think it was a big part of a lot of people's childhood. For sure. Yeah, Toy Story and A Bug's Life, seems to be oh it was i think it was a big part of a lot of people's childhoods childhood for sure yeah toy story in a bug's life i remember explicitly the first time i saw those i remember i was uh bug's life was in theaters and i was with my mom and my grandma and my brother and we got up to the booth before it sold out we were like in the line out into the parking lot like waiting for like opening night bug's Life. And we didn't get in. And I was like at just absolutely despondent, just depressed over not being able to watch a Bugs Life. But I got to watch it.

Starting point is 03:52:14 So it all worked out. And it is a good movie. I thought you were going to recommend that he watches something nature related, like like is there a nature one called like Deep Blue or Blue Sea where there's a bunch of cool video of whales? Maybe I'm getting the name wrong, I'm sure. But there's a couple of really cool ocean documentaries. I mean, there's the Planet Earth stuff. There's the Planet Earth stuff. That's always really good.

Starting point is 03:52:35 Yeah. Oh, Planet Earth 2. Watch that. Planet Earth 2 is great. High or sober. I love the snake chase scene where the snakes are chasing the iguana and he's like running up the the rocks and adverse like he must not slip or he will die and like oh and there's like a hundred snakes chasing it like aggressively and he's just like

Starting point is 03:53:01 winging and they're like clipping onto his ankles and trying to pull him down. He's like, ah, ah, that's such a cool clip. I love it. That clip is so that was like the clip they used to advertise Planet Earth to like on TV. And it it's so perfect. It looks made up. It looks like it looks like it looks like they're on a closed set with a bunch of snakes because of how perfect the cinema or something like as i was watching it i'm like god they have they like anticipated the chase scene with all these camera placements like how the fuck did they do and then of course they just

Starting point is 03:53:35 had so many fucking cameras around there that of course they're gonna pick it up i would gasp and there was i remember there was one like mongolian herd of elk or something. It was like, it is the rarest elk in existence. They spent eight months camped out in Mongolia trying to get a shot of this elk. I'm like, I don't know. It doesn't even look that fancy. You could have spray painted some white on a regular elk

Starting point is 03:53:58 and saved you trouble. Saved a huge amount of money. Have you ever seen an elk like NRL? Yeah. Yeah, I have. They're pretty're pretty cool pretty regal you're fucking gargantuan dude here's what i want to do here's what i want to do an actual trip maybe not this year but maybe next year right let's go kill something with bows let's go into the forest with bows and let's kill something big i'm i want to kill either a bear an elk or, or a moose. I'll accept no substitutes. A pig won't do.

Starting point is 03:54:27 I've killed slews of pigs, piles of deer. Can't get my rocks off like that. I got to kill something. It has to be able to kill me back. I would, maybe a mountain lion, but I'm actually afraid of them. I'm afraid of mountain lions, so I'd like to avoid them if if possible i'd vote moose of those options because it's the biggest yeah that that is an animal like the first time you see a moose in real life like you imagine that it's like a deer like before you've seen one or like it's a slightly larger deer like you see

Starting point is 03:55:01 a moose and it's like oh this like makes Clydesdales look like little babies like that's how that's true they're so right what if what if we team shot a moose with bows that would be like I've never even I've never seen that see see this is why I'm the one to be you want on board with the project you You're the idea man. You've never seen a hunting video where they did something that was like see that's what I want to do with Scott. I wanted him to be like the FBS Russia of rednecks doing hunting videos and him to basically use military hardware

Starting point is 03:55:35 on game animals and be able to advertise like hunting products on that channel. I thought that was a great idea. But nonetheless, Scott's not much of an actor it it turned out if you guys watch those gator show videos you'll see he is as stiff as a board and just know that's 30 takes that's just sitting there all day all right hello camera is harder than people know, right? Like probably everyone sees themselves or sees someone on TV and thinks that like if they were there, they would talk smoothly and clearly,

Starting point is 03:56:11 but regular person has anyone ever turned a camera on you and asked you to say something, you'll find yourself really stumped and stuttering and struggling. And to say it correctly, right? Because like he would go, hello, welcome to the Gator show. And I'm Gator. And I was like, that doesn't make any sense. Lead with I'm Gator.

Starting point is 03:56:32 And this is the Gator show, you fucking idiot. Have you ever seen a TV show? And it went on like that. And it went on like that for like an hour. Because every time he needs to say something, as I'm patching this video of his together, he's got the, you know, the pig ears on and he's wearing the night vision and shit. Like it was a whole mess. That's when I realized Scott was not going to be an actor.

Starting point is 03:57:02 Although if you ask me the video where he drinks the deer urine and it fucking hilarious. Can we watch that? That'll kill the last three minutes. Zach, search the gator show it's like um youtube.com forward slash um user or whatever the gator show and uh i think there's a three minute video there i won't strike you even if i could log in i wouldn't i I probably got to log into the Gator Show. Those videos got a lot of views for a channel with no... I guess I did push them, but still.

Starting point is 03:57:32 That was fun doing that. I also like the idea that I could piggyback Scott onto my expenses. Yeah, play this shit. Give us audio. This is my cousin, Scott. I just want my quick video to show y'all how gator gets ready to go deer hunt i got a few products here i think will help y'all get those monster bucks now the first thing i want to show y'all is the hunter specialty special reserve doyer it's in the

Starting point is 03:57:56 package i swear to god this is real that's what deer hunters are about. The only problem is you have to use the whole bottle. I wrote this. I'm going to tell y'all the taste never gets better. Is he spitting it out? I can't see it coming out.

Starting point is 03:58:25 Jesus Christ. He handles this well. He handles this well. Now to get rid of some of that vomit right there. Some of that vomit smell, he said. Evolved dead downwind scent block

Starting point is 03:58:49 he just flowed with it and like improvised there and said now to get rid of that vomit yeah he don't want the deer smell of the vomit it's better than deer piss he figured what is that? Just soap? Chemicals? Scent blocker. It's like water and some sort of

Starting point is 03:59:09 I don't know what, honestly. Chemicals? Edible. Got that good odor in my pores. It's in my blood. You bring them big bucks and they're going to fuck me. They're going to be all over me like Sandusky on a peewee football team. It was topical. Before this, you're going to need a pen, adult diaper,

Starting point is 03:59:27 some Remington Camo duct tape. I'll show you what the outcome of the product looks like. This is what a true hunter likes to hunt all day, all night, and all day the next day. This thing right here can take a monster load. Trust me. I dropped one of mine earlier. That's the hunter's diaper. hope y'all enjoyed the video.

Starting point is 03:59:46 If y'all will excuse me, Gator needs his gat. Gotta go get that monster buck. Yeah, that's a.308. Gator needs his gat. Yeah, you're right. That guy is not a natural actor. He would not do well in

Starting point is 04:00:00 late night commercials or anything. Certainly not vaudeville. Actually, no audio might help him. I'll say this about Scotty. He handled that deer piss very well. He improvised real well with the scent blocker. And everybody always laughs at that one. That's a good one.

Starting point is 04:00:18 The other one, if anybody cares to watch more of him, is him shooting pigs with night vision and just being real silly. That's a wrap, though. Check out our sponsors. Check out Mac Farah. Buy our gummies. They're strong as fuck. They'll fuck you up, won't they, Woody? Rumor has it. Strong as shit. Check them out.

Starting point is 04:00:35 Code PKA20 and code PKA or Jizz.

Painkiller Already - PKA 602 W/ Matt Farah: Kyle Moves, Matt’s Mental Health

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