Painkiller Already - PKA 607 W/ VinWiki: Spray Painted Lamborghini, Celebrity Car Scandal, Britney Griner Convicted

Episode Date: August 6, 2022

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pka 607 with our guest ed bolin bolian bolian wiki thank you uh taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lock and load blue chew wonky weeds and death by gummy bears a bunch of wonderful products we'll hear more about later ed how are you i'm great thank you all for having me back that's such a cool background it i i unironically was like that's a neat green screen but i bet that's real no it's real that's uh one of the latest acquisitions what am i looking at a convertible lamborghini it is yeah it's a 2009 manual transmission lp640 i love really really cool cars with really really bad stories and this one certainly has it actually ralph lorin ordered it brand new as well as an identical one and didn't take delivery of either.

And so this guy from New Jersey just bought it and would drive it around like a normal car. And whenever he'd bump into something, he would just spray paint over it. So he carried around a can of Rust-Oleum. And so when I got it, it was literally spots spray painted all over. The paint was chipping off in big chunks. What the fuck? A lunatic. Yeah, I mean, you know, there was a long time where some of these cars were not terribly, you. And over the last three, four, five years, they've quadrupled in value. Who does that to a Honda?

No one. Fair enough. Yeah, so it was peculiar. It has a couple of bad car faxes, but it drives great. Can you tell me the model number again, but slower? I don't know. Sure. It's a 2009 Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 Roadster,

and it's one of 10 U.S. cars with a true manual transmission. Oh, a true manual. So Ralph Lauren just ordered two and then couldn't be bothered to pick them up? Correct. Yeah. So one of them ended up going to St. Louis. That's pretty cool. Yeah, exactly.

Let me ask you, because maybe you've got some insight into special customers like that and how cars are ordered. The next time Ralph Lauren wants a car, and he goes back to me ask you, because maybe you've got some insight into special customers like that and how cars are ordered. The next time Ralph Lauren wants a car and he goes back to me and says, hey, y'all have that new thing this year. I'd like three of those in yellow. I know you don't do yellow, but let's do yellow. My yellow, in fact. Ralph Lauren yellow. Are they like, go shove it up your ass?

We had a hard time moving those last two? Only if they're currently having a hard time would they allow him to order another car you know in general like right now every new car is obviously sold out for years and so they're not you know indulging anybody who's treated them wrong in the past but in these cases yes uh he probably burned that bridge he doesn't buy a lot of new cars that was kind of a an interesting time for him he buys a lot of very very significant older cars probably has a 200 million dollar car collection or so um so what do you think the most significant historical car

to collect would be now i've got a couple in my head and i don't know anything about this sort of thing it's just a question that popped in my head but i'm thinking the limo that kennedy was in oh my god like where's that thing and whatever hoopty arc duke ferdinand was in when he got popped those two things like jumped to mind he's a good also bonnie and clyde's car but that's an museum i know i saw the simpsons episode that's not as cool as the other ones you listed yeah so you know it varies when you think about the most significant like vintage car that you'd want to own uh you know theoretically the bugatti aralith if it was to exist is probably a you know 200 million dollar car uh a mercedes 300 sl race car just sold for 142 million that set the

the record uh in a last month and they didn't actually do a very good job of marketing that sale uh prior to that the most expensive car to sell was a 250 gto there's 39 of those and they they're worth about 70 or so how do you market a 140 million dollar car you just email the two guys on earth who can afford it right marketing done something happened to the deal because it was sold by Mercedes. It was still owned by them. It's one of two cars. And I think you had to agree that whenever they asked for it, you had to give it back for them to use, however they wanted to. You had to pay them to maintain it.

And I think that the two people that were interested in it ended up maybe splitting it. It was a really, really weird transaction because you're right you don't just post it on craigslist and say who wants this 140 million dollar car uh so you know and a lot of times the numbers get exaggerated uh a couple days ago rm announced that they're going to sell a high downforce kit mclaren f1 then so that car's probably pushing 30 uh as a late build. And that'll be the most expensive car to sell. Didn't even know cars were this much. I watched a Jay Leno interview.

And he was saying he doesn't like Ferrari. And it wasn't that he doesn't like the cars. He doesn't like working with Ferrari. One thing I've learned, I know one guy who can buy Ferraris. I'm not you. But he was in like a Ferrari California. And he had to have thatia and own it for a while to prove that he was a ferrari guy before they allowed him to buy other cars that he actually wanted and jay leno is like this is horseshit this is no way

like you should just sell me the cars that i'm really dreaming about and not make me prove myself as a ferrari aficionado. Do McLaren and Lamborghini and maybe Mercedes or whoever else sells cars in that class, do that to their customers too? To some extent, but not nearly to the extent that Ferrari does. I mean, Ferrari has a reputation of being very exclusive. And, you know, in reality, yes, they could sell three times as many cars, but the cars wouldn't retain the same value and they don't necessarily have the ability to produce that many cars. And so, you know, they're all sold out. It's not as though they're alienating so many buyers that they are sitting on inventory. And so, you know, from their perspective, I guess you have the business question, right?

Do I build more cars than make my cars worth less money? Or do I keep them, you know, this desirable, this valuable, so that the customers that do get to buy them and have treated us well for decades, you know, stay as happy as they are? Now, my question after watching Leno was, but you're Jay Leno, are there different rules for you? Do they do? I mean, Jay Leno is not the only interesting person who wants to buy a Ferrari. Do you think they'd have different rules for Leno? They all have different rules for celebrities and, you know, influencers, things like that. I've tried to buy a couple of very rare Ferraris that I've only owned pre-owned ones.

And, you know, you say you're not wealthy enough to buy a Ferrari, but I've never lost money on one. They don't really go down in value. So, you know, as long as you buy them the right way and take reasonably good care of them, they go up. So the, if, if you or I walk in, uh, even with, you know, our following, we don't count enough to get any preferential treatment, but once you did, you'd still have to play by the rules. You might get an extra leg up. You might actually get to order the standard range car that you wanted. If it were a brand new F8 Tributo or something like that, you could probably get your way into one of those cars.

But if you wanted something like they just brought out a $2.3 million SP3 Daytona that they're limiting to less than 1,000 cars, no, we can't just go buy one, even if you are somebody special, because they have that many customers that are that limiting to less than a thousand cars. No, we can't just go buy one, even if you are somebody special because they have that many customers that are that valuable to them. So we're not special enough to get special treatment. Are there YouTubers who are? Do they look at PewDiePie and be like, I really enjoyed your Happy Wheels?

I bet Mr. Beast could get one and give it away. It's like, hey, if you give us one of these, every kid on earth will know what your brand is. It's like, okay. if you give us one of these, every kid on earth will know what your brand is. It's like, okay. And that's the point. They don't actually need people to know. That's their newest car that we can't buy. And it's super cool.

It'll be probably their last newly developed, naturally aspirated V12 car. It's fast and has almost i think 900 horsepower and it revs to over 9 000 rpm which is super cool for an engine that that's that big so there's a lot of cool things going for it exactly yeah so uh but they're all sold out and uh what i i'm a new f1 fan so i'm not super knowledgeable but i've been following for maybe two or three years now what happens to those cars like did they just sit in a showroom or do they sell them can you get an f1 car they come up with a new a couple new ones every year but correct yeah so they they do get retired and many times they're sold to collectors without the powertrains. Some of the manufacturers have programs where you can buy a functional one,

but they keep it and they maintain it. So Ferrari has that. They call it Corsa Cliente, and you can buy a decommissioned Formula One car. And they arrange events several times a year where they travel with all of them, and they'll fly them to whatever circuit it is. Usually it's before an F1 race or something like that.

And they'll have a couple of days where their guys can go out. And honestly, it's pretty inexpensive. You know, it's usually like $5,000 to $10,000 per car per day. Now you're talking about a car that probably cost in maintenance $100,000 a weekend to really run. There you'll see. Now, if it's not a top tier car, if you're not buying a Mercedescedes a red bull an f1 car

or a ferrari then you're you're gonna pay 10 to 20 percent uh and that's a so those cars could be worth two three four hundred thousand dollars in a reasonably functional state especially if you buy one that's more than 15 or 20 years old. And those are still considerably faster than any one of us could really make move. There's been some really, really entertaining content built around the idea of a normal person driving an F1 car. In fact, that's my most viewed video is a guy from England that was able to do kind of a test in an old Infiniti F1 car from the early 2000s. And the ability that we have to think fast enough, to react fast enough, to go fast enough, to brake fast enough, so that the car gets enough heat in the tires, enough heat in the brakes,

enough air in the engine, and doesn't stall, it takes a long, long time to figure out. I want to talk. So I've seen two videos on that. These I linked to you are often I've seen two videos on that. These I linked to you are often going for 100,000 euro. I've seen two videos on the idea of a regular person driving an F1 car. One was Top Gear, where Richard Hammond tried to drive it.

Now, I don't know what you think of Richard Hammond, but I think, well, he must be a much better driver than a normal person, right? He's a car guy. But he's hamming it up and looking completely incompetent and there's all this dramatic music acting like he can't get the thing in gear it has stall protection and so like i the little bit i know is he's purposely trying to stall this thing out and it won't let him do it so it's jerky jerky jerky and and it just it was a bullshit video that made me hate top gear even more than i did before because those cunts don't do anything seriously they feign incompetence at everything two thumbs down on that opinion don't like it's inspired a lot of us for sure but uh but you're

right cruise drive it now apparently he is a good driver uh he has a little bit of race experience. I don't know how much racing he's done. He's certainly done racing movies, but they acted like he really made the car go pretty well. And if he were serious about this, he would someday be a decent F1 driver. That's how they pretended it was. Sure. And there's

probably some validity there. I think when you think about putting a normal person in an F1 car, what's much more significant than their actual racing experience is that they've made a lot of vehicles move, right? Because the car is so unique in the way that you would engage with it that if you haven't driven a whole lot of different types of cars, you're not going to find any way to feel comfortable in it. And when you look at their warm-up lap pace and things like that, it's not 10 tenths all the time. They can make them go around behind a pace car in a caution situation at 70, 80 miles an hour, which anybody's reaction times could keep up with. And so I think that is what you're seeing is the desire of a television presenter or a journalist to go past that, past just making it around.

Could we make it, of course we can make it around in the car. You're right, it has stall protection. It's a sequential manual transmission. There's not a clutch to manage after you make a thing move. And so we could do that. If you try to look cool or go fast, that's where you're not gonna have enough speed to manage the downforce.

You're not gonna have enough heat in the brakes to actually dive deep enough in to keep the tires warm enough that with any throttle application, you're not going to have enough heat in the brakes to actually dive deep enough in to keep the tires warm enough that with any throttle application you're not going to spin the car and so that's it's that you know pivot towards fast where things go real wrong and that's that is legitimate um so that's the that's it yeah and for people gosh i feel like i don't know enough about f1 to teach people, but the things that make the car warm up are twofold. One is taking turns fast. You probably would have guessed that. You go around the turn, it puts a little sideways stress on the tire, it warms them up. Cool. The other is just going fast. The downforce presses down on it, and that sort of

being pressed down while going fast warms up the car too. Unless your car is all warmed up, your tires are hot, your brakes are hot they don't work very well so you have to go fast enough to get them warm but you can't go fast unless they're warm and therein lies this the thing that takes skill yeah if you ever watch nascar when they're in the or maybe f1 i've never seen a second of it but so i don't know but we're in the second of nascar i'm not of F1 but in NASCAR you know the caution laps they're driving back and forth to keep the tires warm

I saw a guy doing that in traffic the other day I was like this man's professional I had no idea that I was sharing the road with his likes in motorcycle tires is a similar thing like you might want to buy the best tire they're the ones that the best people use you can buy high-end tires but they're not a good choice for me like my dumb ass spends half my time at a red light or you know just doesn't get to stay doesn't get to

driving away that keeps tires warm so the fast tires are slower for regular people oftentimes. Is there a Goldilocks zone? Like if you were to try and take a turn at like 80, is that fast enough that you would spin out and obviously your tires wouldn't be heated up enough? Because I'm imagining myself, and if I didn't know anything, I'd be like, let's be responsible. Let's take a 70 turn.

And that's probably the zone where you fuck yourself up, right? Because it's not meant for that. Well, the problems are going to come up when you try to turn and accelerate, right? So if you go really, really fast and you brake as hard as you possibly can, turn through a corner, and then when you're pointed straight, hit the gas. As long as you're reasonably in the right gear you're going to be okay it's when you try to carry speed through a corner that you get into real trouble and that's in any racing situation you know you'll hear the phrase like slow in fast out and that's what it means is don't go too fast into the turn go fast on the way

up i think i i know less about f1 than anyone here. I'm probably on line with Kyle. You've seen a bumper cars though. I've done bumper cars. But like, I know that F1 driving is unbelievably hard. I saw a pros versus Joes episode in like 2002 where they were like, we've got this guy from the NFL, this guy from MLB, this guy from the NBA, and this driver. And I remember sitting there at like 12 being like,

this stupid ass driver is going to get humiliated the dude was unreal athletic like he was outperforming the baseball guy in fucking everything that baseball guy got his ass handed to him that day by the driver but there is no sport that has a closer gap between like it looking easy than like racing because if you don't know anything you can watch it and be like yeah I can turn too and you don't know because there's no way to tell that they're like experiencing a million G's

that's especially true with NASCAR where they just if it's an oval race course that's why I refuse to believe it's hard to drive a NASCAR car I swear to God I refuse to believe it's hard I bet that any of the you took the four of us and we did nothing but train with like fucking, is Richard Petty still alive?

He trains us, okay? Whoever. The ghost of Dale Earnhardt can come back and train us all day, every day for three months, and I bet that we finish the race and it's not a laughing stock. Kyle, speak for yourself. You've driven with me. They're like, ah, and holy shit, in the 99 car, what do you shit what do you mean that's car track i would not i would lose my way around it's a left turn yeah but there's a million cars out there you have to try and you know draft behind the good

racers and stay in like the crescent of emptiness whatever the one is in carolina lowes motor speedway or something like they had They had an event there one time where they were selling classic car parts in the infield. They filled the whole infield up and we were buying parts for 55 Chevrolet Bel Airs. That's neither here nor there. It gave me a chance to walk around on the track and see that crazy amount

of banking. You can't tell on TV how huge that track is. Even then, I was like, I got this. I got this. Any of us do this any of us do any of us do it's bullshit it's we just rented atlanta motor speedway which is a nascar track here for a car track series that we ran yeah and uh it was amazing because they gave it to us at night in the rain and so you know i was in a 620 horsepower bentley super sports and uh and it was a blast but you know even then like i mean this is at night in the rain in a car that's got you know decent tires on it we know

we're doing 150 where they would have been doing a hundred you know 200 220 miles an hour at times and so it is a big big difference well i think it's a big difference it's a big difference but in between what there he is there he is i think you're back sorry about that momentary pickup yeah i had a glitch but we lost you at the main difference yeah yeah the main difference is when you're trying to get that extra 10 20 30 percent of the performance out of the car that's where things get a little strange so So you disagree at Kyle calling it laughable. I quote the argument could be made when you think about the people that are driving these cars that are professional drivers,

because more than half of the field in NASCAR is paying their way to be in the car. And so what that means is, yeah, and Formula One is maybe 30%, 40%. So they're bringing sponsors, but the sponsor is dad's company, right? So these are situations where, yes, to prove your point, Woody, they are being trained to drive these cars. Now, they may have started to train at 7 or 12 or very, very young. Yeah, they started on go-karts, sure. But yes, you can teach anybody to drive reasonably quickly.

They're not going to be at the front of the pack because those people are both naturally rich and gifted. But it's one of those situations where you you can certainly get a long way and i mean like i think there was a statistic once that lewis hamilton's family spent like seven million dollars on his driving career before he was paid yeah so arguably the greatest driver in formula one history certainly the greatest in the grid right now uh you know it took that much to get him there and now he's certainly had staying power. He's won seven world championships. But, you know, he didn't start from nothing, just, you know, pulling the go-kart.

I think NASCAR is a little bit like the UFC as well. At the end of the year, you don't really care who's got the belt or who has the most wins. I care about who is most entertaining. Who did a fucking kickflip when they knocked the guy out, right? So all you got to do is just be a piece of shit, be loud, be the Colby Covington to keep that UFC parallel going of NASCAR, and I think you'd have a gig.

Danica Patrick made a career out of being cute. I think she made her bones with GoDaddy, though, right? I mean, that didn't help. I mean, it didn't hurt. But, I mean, the GoDaddy money was the winner there. Was she winning races? I mean, her car was fucking... Was she that bad?

I'm trying to... There was one of the places, maybe it was NASCAR, where they said she had advantage because she was so light. She's a little bit lighter. She's like, you're saving, what, 100 pounds on the car? Is that a gigantic difference? I'm only as good as my sources. I'm not really that knowledgeable.

I guess so, now that I think about it. Yeah, yeah. But she wasn't, 100 pounds in the car? Is that a gigantic difference? I'm only as good as my sources. I'm not really that knowledgeable. I guess so, now that I think about it. Yeah. But she wasn't saving 100 pounds. She was probably saving 50, 60. I mean, these kids aren't that tall. Some of them are big. I don't know. Remember Tony Stewart by the end? That man's 200 pounds. At least. And Danica's like, I think I read once she was right at 100, like maybe even 95. She's a little girl. Yeah. Woman, whatever. Well well it makes sense and even with that advantage she was a terrible terrible terrible driver

uh and they let her go around that track for years all i'm saying is you throw taylor in that car give him a cool middle name like like shotgun taylor or something yes remember buckshot jones what a redneck fucking name That guy drove around the track for years. I bet he never won a race, but his name was Buckshot. Everybody liked him. You know, this is my favorite story. He had the best merch. There was one racer. There's like 31 racers

in a NASCAR race or something. There's a bunch. And there was one guy that didn't matter where he finished. ESPN would be like, alright, first place was kyle second place was taylor in 90 whatever like 23rd place dick trickle his name was dick trickle and they always told you how he did because he was dick trickle they just like to say it he's always getting on espn and so even though he's finishing 24th household name in the i love cars like like i um i like going to car shows and just

looking at them and uh and when i see somebody if i see somebody else stand too close to a nice car i i'm like what are you thinking what are you thinking how dare you don't you know those jeans have rivets on the outside of them fuck away from that man's vehicle you know but but but i've never been into like auto racing at all because of all the things we just talked about you know that you think it's hard to get into that brand new ferrari try getting out there on atlanta motor speedway and representing for chevrolet even if you are a really good kid who's a driver there's no no like, and if I, if you have the talent, you will play for the Yankees. If you have the talent,

you will play for, uh, for, for LA. But if you have the talent, you'll probably just keep working in that auto parts store and never get behind the, the, the wheel of a car.

Mm. Good. Be. I mean, clearly most of them never get the chance because you have to be a fucking millionaire. I don't know NASCAR that well, but in formula one, when they consider what are called paid drivers, people who bring money to the team, they look at how good a driver he is and how much money he can bring in.

I suck at driving. So if I were to bring in $100 million, I might race Formula One. Yeah, sure. I crash it every weekend. But I make the team better with that. Maybe if I'm really good at driving and I bring in 10 million, they choose me over someone who's really great at driving because we win it's not right that they will keep a worse driver because he can pay his way into that seat but being unfair is kind of what makes formula one interesting that your car is way better than mine i am twice the driver you are and i just barely keep up maybe i win in uh qualifying but lose on race day and it's not fair yeah it's not you

thought i want open tryouts find your way into a better seat find your way into it that guy did it somehow how you how are you going to get the better team to agree that you're a better driver so that they'll hire you instead of him it's like if i owned a sports franchise taylor often talks about he's a billionaire he buys his local sport sports franchises and attempts to guide them to greatness right even if it means losing money to do so but i think i think that i would want to have open tryouts because i think that would if i'm a fan nothing would intrigue me more than my team having open tryouts for one of their positions and i don't care what sport i like i don't give a shit they their positions. And I don't care what sport. I don't give a shit.

It could be a sport I don't care about at all. But if I heard a world championship soccer team was having open tryouts for their goalie, I'd be like, oh, really? So any dude can walk up? Are they televising this? Can I buy a ticket? I'd love to go see that.

So with Formula One, they've got those simulators. Why don't they fucking start a line? Somebody's going to be driving the Ferrari car this year. We just don't know who yet. Put those fucking simulators outside in every major city and line people the fuck up, and let's take the top 10 guys and make a reality show and then have them race for Ferrari this year.

Do you know the NFL did that? That is more fun. Yeah, the Eagles, right? Yeah. Oh, is that the, the Eagles, right? Yeah. Oh, is that the movie with Marky Mark? Yeah. Yes. And like, nobody made the team.

What? They've done that. Several racing teams have just said, Absolutely. Yeah, they've all got driver development programs. And so, you know, you're going to have people that are way, way down. They've even done it just based on esports performance, because in many ways, it's a lot more like being in a simulator than being in a Honda on the street. And so they can tell if you're qualified. That being said, when you think about it from an advertising perspective versus the exposure

that's available, it simply means that the sponsorships don't make the team's pencil. It's a losing proposition anyway. And so just because you're good enough doesn't mean that the business allows you to participate. It just means that you might be able to find a seat somewhere if somebody else was losing the money. I like that they're recruiting from the video game players too, from iRacing or whatever it may be because the u.s military has been doing that for years i played call of duty 4 with a guy he slayed he was the best of us all just he was just so goddamn good now he got a job flying drones in afghanistan blowing people up and they just kept promoting him over and over oh Oh, yeah. Fucking salute this guy.

That's perfect. Talent identification. They had to prestige him, yeah. Send him back to the bottom. He was in private again a few weeks later. After we promoted you, our terrorism deaths dropped off dramatically. We need to back. It's Socrates I'm talking about.

Like, Socrates got into that drone program. And he was just like, yeah, dude, they've had me in that simulator for months. I've been flying missions over this place and that place sometimes what my the drone i'm flying is close away and i it was really cool stuff he was getting to do and then it was like yeah awesome of course who better than socrates who's fucking drop shotting and 360 and people for fun on cod 4 oh yeah now he's fucking people up and crash in real life now he's actually destroying public squares in the middle east everybody's gotta go pro-fueled home yeah

he's getting fucking achieved something i wanted to uh ask about the celebrity thing it was a clip that just randomly i saw earlier this week and I didn't know that companies would shut down like the Ferrari conversation we had. And I saw that apparently in like 2004, 2005, Tom Cruise struggled opening the door of a Bugatti at the reveal at the premiere of Mission Impossible movie. And apparently Bugatti was like so pissed off about it. They put him on a list of like you can Tom Cruise. You cannot have a Bugatti. Because it's him getting out of the car, walking around to open it for whoever his date is. And it has those button things. And he just stands there. He tries to grab it. He pushes on it. He holds it. He does it for 15 seconds. And eventually, it opens. And so it was a bad look. Did

you know about that? Yes, I did. A friend of mine arranged all the cars for the mission impossible premieres like they took him a bunch of places and in fact that they actually overnighted a car from uh steve saline's house in california for one of the manhattan premieres because he wanted to show up in a mustang that was modified and so ups flew the car overnight for just that. But, yeah, I mean, I didn't hear about the Bugatti incident, but it's a constant, you know, trying to manage cars that get seen publicly. I had an exotic car rental company for years. It's the same problem.

It's just, you know, they never do what they're supposed to do. If they sit still, they can do that. Sit still in the car. They're aces. Well, that's what makes it entertaining for you know and i'm curious woody what's the hate for top gear i mean certainly there was a lot of contrived storylines and things like that but uh also certainly inspired a lot of us as young car enthusiasts it's about the manufactured drama and insincerity of it maybe youtube has spoiled me

there's so much on youtube that is it's not all true but there's like some truth there's some like amateurish honesty to it whereas like there's one top gear episode in particular i bring up a lot where they took boats maybe vietnam and uh i watched them crash that boat into like the same piling 14 times in a row and it's like no one is this incompetent toddlers are more competent than this they're running over row boats that like how these are boats you can go anywhere you want it's not like you had to thread the needle here you purposely ran over someone's boat i hope they were compensated i choose to believe that this person volunteered their shitty boat and we're taking care of but i oh they like they ran over like kelp or something

right you can see this stuff you can see it in the distance you could go and they had to go out of their way to have as many problems as they did and i don't like that contrived fake drama bullshit reality tv and that's what top gear is yeah there's a is. Yeah, there's a lot of scripted comedy. And you want more meat and potatoes, car information, it seems. I don't like the mixture that they do. I don't like the balance that they've struck between

the two myself. I feel the same way, I guess. I either want more comedy, more zaniness, or way less. It's something about the balance that I just don't care for. I would like a show that was like car and driver TV or something that was just stats. And I want to know cubic inches.

And I want to know tire pressures. And what's in the brake lines? But then when we go over here, I want somebody literally crashing cars and being on fire. And it's all for pranks and laughs. One or the other and help me with name pronunciation uh dave demario it's a car youtube euro okay so he does these car reviews in very detail and like he'll sit there and and maybe exaggerate how important the cubic inches in the center console are or like you know he doesn't like the decal on a button

or something and then you know it's there's some humor to it and you learn about the car and it's interesting he makes good videos i like them top gear they do fake shit you know like when they ran the tesla battery down on purpose and they could see that that was like a big controversy all the tesla fans got upset because they acted like the thing didn't do what it said it would. And it did. And it was insincere, dishonest.

And it was a lie. So much of that show feels like a lie. And I want to see the, like what it's like to have these things that I don't get exposed to. Like, Oh my God, that's an F40. What is it like to drive an F40?

I want their opinion. I respect them as car guys. They're light years ahead of where I'll ever be. And I want them to tell me what it's like. Like, man, this back end twists out all the time. The oversteer makes this really challenging to drive, even for somebody like me. Like, I would enjoy that. But for them to purposely stomp on the gas and make it slide around, I don't enjoy that.

Sure. And I think that when we think about what Top Gear became, not necessarily what it started out as, you know, we had, what, I think 23 seasons of Top Gear and five or six of Grand Tour. They became the show that a car guy could make his girlfriend watch. And it was different than a Doug DeMuro quirks and features presentation of what a car is because it was entertaining to people who might not care about cars. If you went just for rote knowledge, statistics and everything else in early top gear, you saw that we,

you know, really big focus on like, my connection might be getting a little iffy. Sorry. I think you're back. You're back. Yep. Cool.

We saw the power lap boards and the cool wall and all the things that were very, very subjective and objective to really show us what the cars were relative to each other. And that was wonderful, but nobody that didn't already love cars cared. And I think when you think about the 11 Top Gear specials and what you're talking about is a Grand Tour special, the Vietnam boats, then those were deliberately supposed to be larger

than life, right? And they still need to have reasonable continuity. They need to be coherent storylines. They need to seem real. But, you know, so we had a sponsor approach us two and a half years ago and essentially said, we want to do some higher production value YouTube content and we don't really care what it is. And so if you tell me that I can do whatever I want, what I want to do is a top gear cheap car challenge because having watched them, whether they're real or not, it looks like the most fun you could possibly have. And we've done eight of them since then. We did the cheapest supercar you could buy for the price of a new Z06, the most appreciated supercars, Ferraris for the price of a Camry. We secret

Santa gifted each other the most unreliable cars on earth. And then we just have like a series of challenges generally about a road trip. Right.? And so seeing what that meant for automotive journalism was that there is a demand. Maybe it's not the most authentic representation of the cars, but there is a demand for entertainment that is car-centric, but really is a lot more about the chemistry of the characters and the comedy that you can create circumstance for and things like that and so i i think that i totally agree that you see continuity errors and you see that they did the same crash from

three angles and they automatically deliberately went a place they shouldn't have that stinks but at the same time having done it and trying to capture it the cars blow up at the same time, having done it and trying to capture it, the cars blow up at the wrong times always. And, you know, you're trying to redo a scene to get a better angle and you crash into a tree. And, you know, these things really do happen. And then we have to figure out, well, all right, how do we put that into the storyline that we because we really, you know, blew the head gasket on this Cadillac on the way to dinner. And I shouldn't have been in the car because you should have been driving it because of whatever but we can't not have this car just bellowing smoke you know in a church parking lot in Missouri so we're gonna we're gonna invent the way that went in uh you know for instance they did all

these races against public transit you can't film that it's not like you'd have to totally duplicate the the crew so you film the drive one day and then you film the flying the next day and then you intersect and you pretend like it's the craziest last 36 hours of your life and so yes there are some things about that but at the same time i can get my wife to watch it and that was useful because it's better than watching the bachelor i'm the least car guy here. And you hit the nail on the head with it. I like the Top Gear adventures because I like the chemistry of the three guys. I think Jeremy Clarkson is hilarious.

I like how they both dig on May. Like, it's a good vibe they all have. And the cars for me has always been ancillary. Like, if I put an episode of Top Gear on, an old one, like, I watched all the specials like when as they were coming out many years ago and then like i was like i love this show let me watch an episode of top gear regular and i like went back and watched and he's like today tonight we're going to the amazon we're not going to the amazon we're going to talk about a

boring car and it was like and then he would say like this is the speed of it this is the worst thing about it i'm like this isn't this sucks i don't like this and so then i switched back to the adventures and i know that it's totally contrived i know they're not really racing a train in india and that they're not really you know struggling that hard to drive their boats but i did like woody's idea that it's totally fake and contrived aside from the damage they're doing to Vietnamese people's property. Wow, I hope that's real. The entire thing was faked, except for that poor villager

who we destroyed. I'm watching a TV show right now called Ink Masters. It's about tattooing, and they tattoo, and then the worst tattoo artist gets voted off the island every week. Cool.

Well, anyway, after every like little round of tattoo competition they sit in a living room of some sort and fight with each other they argue i hate it i hate it 99 of the time because i've made a video or two i've never been on ink masters but i can see they're not wearing lav mics so i know there are boom mics hanging directly over their head just out of camera range and i'm watching this show if you ever watch gym or ink masters i nearly called it jump masters there is a jump cut every three seconds for an hour there's a there are so many jump cuts in this show that I'm well aware there's at least three cameras, four cameras on all these arguments.

And I'm like, this is the most inauthentic conversation to have ever happened in television history. There's four cameras and boom mics hanging from the ceiling. And none of what they're saying is true. Did they hand them a script? Or are they playing it up for the camera? They stop all the time and they give directions all right say it this way now try it this way what if you were angry because he said he he said this what if you were mad because he's even here all right play it that way and they have

then when it gets to the editing room they have hour for a three minute conversation they have an hour and a half of footage then they can cut in reactions from the other guy they have like 18 cuts of the black guy in the corner going oh shit like like you can plug that right in anywhere i'm such an asshole when i watch this show i track what shirt everybody's wearing and if there's ever a continuity error i'm like he had the star wars shirt on for this argument and that is star trek you can't get this shit past me you like pause it like jackie it happened again stop watching shows that upset you

well but they they also all finish at the same time. These varying skilled tattooers have eight hours to make a tattoo, and Navarro or whatever is like, you know, five, four, three, two, one, and they're all, oh, we just, you know they all had three days to do that tattoo. If you had. I don't know if they had it, but they do act like they all, like, I don't know if you've ever taken an exam you're not prepared for, and when they say pencils up and you stop, that's last you don't keep going you'll you'll get in trouble all of them finish their tattoos like that but most of these tattoos are completely done they

must have been done 30 minutes ago yeah some of them have uh aftercare i'm not a tattoo guy but maybe they put like a vaseline and a saran wrap on it yeah and yeah so it inspired a lego version lego masters uh that my seven-year-old loves and it is it's hosted by will arnett it's on fox it's amazing but they uh my my son went to like one of the conventions or whatever of lego people and one of the lego masters was there and they said all everything related to time was totally fabricated. We built all the things, but no, it takes forever to do this, and it's not that entertaining to watch brick, brick, brick, brick, brick. But I don't know. It's a reality show.

Just like that, you have to watch it for the entertainment. You can't overly dissect the continuity. You can't tell me how to watch it. I reserve my right to be a dick. I have a conspiracy theory about theory about one of gordon ramsay shows one of his it's master chef i don't recall which season but it's the season that paula dean guest stars because here's what happens the cast has one black man remaining on it you know you vote a guy off every week he he loses in week seven let's just call it week eight paula dean is the guest chef she hey y'all

she comes on in if you don't remember she had that big controversy where she had used the n-word quite a lot and she also had these themed dinners parties at her house that were like antebellum style with black servant folk dressed in period specific slave clothes and you know it's a rough look well with a lot of people and uh a lot of people are saying no no one in the party planning committee she was the party planning committee that's the fucking problem she called robert downey this is that bitch from food network she's giving us two million do whatever she says so they canceled her and she was a big deal on food network and everywhere but she's now gordon ramsay's letting her back in and get like let's see how people think you know like testing the waters a little up this is their second appearance since the whole

thing black has been voted off the show so she does her thing it's fine whatever i don't give a shit she leaves the very next episode it's called the ninth episode we're doing something very special this episode something we've never done before we're gonna bring back one chef that we voted off and of course it's a black guy they bring him right back in and he's like guess who's back y'all it was almost like he was like i refuse to be on an episode with paula dean however you want to work it to make it smooth for your ratings and your people you do that but if you make me i will say no thank you i won't i won't be here with you you racist bitch that is what i'm going to say if you make me be on screen with paula dean you fix it i

feel like that happens and they're like i'm gonna vote you off then you're gonna get to win a competition that's completely contrived and come back the next episode let's do it i think that's what it was i think it's so weird that that happened like that and and i he didn't seem like the kind of dude who'd be down with paula either well was what was the dish situation first of all gordon's lying he's brought back contestants hundreds of times so first of all fact check fake i've watched enough of his show he brings people back once a series and all the time but it seems almost as like oh wait this is the question was the black guy's dish on the episode that he got kicked off was it actually the worst dish because if it wasn't the worst dish then you might you might have something going here that that was

the other thing it was weird that he even got voted off because he was one of the stronger contestants it was like what like lately yeah the whole thing seemed contrived the whole thing seemed like bullshit like he wouldn't share the stage with paula dean and they fixed it that way i wouldn't either like that's pretty fucking racist that thing she did i think it really is coming from one of those old southern white lady things places, but that seemed really racist. What was the challenge? Because all of her food is the same. It's just

butter. Deep fried butter. It looks good. I love her food. I use her recipes for stuff sometimes. It's fucking really good. Do you think Colonel Sanders wasn't racist as shit? The man has the perfect blend of virgin spices. That man cannot be.

There's no way a man who is so hand in glove with the African-American community could possibly be a racist. Colonel Sanders is woke as fuck. And I won't hear anything to disparage the Colonel's good name. They made him a goddamn Colonel, for Christ's sakes. You couldn't be more wrong, Kyle. If KFC understood their target market, they would have certain fruits on the menu.

Oh. Well, that's... What? Apricots? Maybe. This guy was alive until 1980. I had in my head he was like revolutionary i was picturing a proud a colonel who like met with a french general and then decided to fight the brit now he's i don't know why i thought that no he's a chicken salesman from kentucky

and then he dodged the draft yeah and it was yeah i'm completely with you but why did i think he was revolutionary war and that the kfc franchise is 300 years old i i thought this was a much more storied institution if that were true can you imagine the commercials america's oldest fast food franchise since 1773. I didn't want to mention that. Like a predated McDonald's? Yeah, that would have... You're right. That would be a huge thing. That's 1792.

You really just dress kind of funny. Yeah, no. And he wasn't a real colonel. Well, he was a real colonel. I can't remember. Honorific title. That counts. I'm counting an honorific title. He can't command a battalion or a legion or anything a battalion of chicken cookers he could it was his wife's recipe that was the secret chicken cookers yeah a whole fucking unit of them frying up those delicious birds with those

where are you saying it was his wife's recipe i'm not seeing that here i went to her recipe that's true in the divorce she got to keep the original recipe he came up with this other thing but she's got her own she's got the original Kentucky fried chicken uh there in Kentucky I've been to it you sit down and it's like that family style thing where they you get like big bowls of everything and there is no ordering you're like yeah we want lunch and they're like all right we'll go get it I mean this guy I can't I can only imagine how good KFC used to be just reading about him it It says that in his later years, so the seventies,

he was like actively pissed all the time about like, this isn't the chicken I sell. This is low quality. Like he was pissed about it. And so like, apparently the, the end years of his life were him like bickering with the people who had taken his like Papa John before him after him.

Yeah. Was the rumor true that they had to change it to KFC? Cause they couldn't call it chicken legally? What? Oh, if that's true, that's unreal. I choose to believe it. But it is chicken, right? Well, I think they had served it.

This is a rumor that I heard years and years ago. I have no idea. Popeye's is way better. But I think that there was something that they had served, a chicken product that was overly processed and it could no longer be called chicken or that they had genetically modified the chickens to have larger breasts and that made them genetically not chickens or something like that. Yeah, they made the chickens have extra tenders. I Googled it. Anyone using Kentucky for their business would first need the state's permission and would be required to pay licensing fees.

Kentucky Fried Chicken rebranded to KFC instead of paying licensing fees. That's a much better answer. They weren't serving real chicken. What a huge middle finger from Kentucky. If I was Georgia, I'd be like, yo, you can be Georgian fried chicken for free. We do it for movies all the time.

The Kentucky Derby became the run for the roses. Neil Diamond's song Kentucky Woman is no longer played on the radio due to the fee. There's some other people that were impacted by Kentucky's oppressive licensing. There are a bunch of babies over there. What else? They're not proud of that at all? If it was Missouri

Fried Chicken, if I were in another state and I drove past them, I'd be like, hell yeah, a little taste of home. But yeah, take pride in it well um yeah i don't i don't know about if he ever ordered around a unit of soldiers or anything but the man makes a good bird i do think popeyes is better i like that dirty rice i'll never forget having lunch with my muslim friend and he'd never had their dirty rice before and about he was like he was a big fat fuck and he was so he was all the way through a bowl of it i told him i had pork in and he started spitting it all over the table and it was it made my afternoon it really did fuck you garrett you hexcon piece of shit now i'm a fella too garrett was the fucking worst he had uh he had taken the rap for our boss on some drug crime

and done like a couple years in prison. So now that our boss was a boss of a car dealership, he made him like the house mouse. So he got all the done deals. Someone like orders two chargers. And even though we're a Ford dealership, because we're corporate, he'd be like, ah, well, I'll just call them and get two of those sent over here.

And they'll go through me to you, through me, through Garrett to you. And so, yeah, we all hated that guy. Sounds like a jerk. I'm glad you tried. Kyle, you've got to come tell car stories on our channel sometime. I would do that. I would do that.

I've got a few car stories. Nothing cool like you do, though. You've done cool stuff. I've never driven anything fast or anything like that. What's that? The only cool car I've been in, if it's even a car, the guy's last name was Morgan. Oh, I mean, that's a cool car that I was in one time.

But as far as fast stuff, that Baja truck that I was in with that Dan Bilzerian video, whatever that truck is. The driver was, I think his last name was Baldwin, um, which makes me think of the Baldwin brothers, but it's definitely not. His name might've even been Billy Baldwin or something like that.

I can't remember what it was, but he had one of those crazy like Baja trucks that does the crazy jumps and has insane suspension. Did you have to wear anything special for it? Did they put you in a kidney belt or just a helmet and no street clothes? Helmet and a racing suit that was too small.

And that was it. And he got so much air. It was one of the cooler things I've done. And I've never seen anything drive that fast and accelerate like that on dirt. So that thing was fucking neat. Is it four-wheel drive? Are they in four-wheel drive all the time?

I would assume so, but I was just hanging on for the ride. Because they go so fast, most of the time I wondered if two guys were there. That little ass race suit. It doesn't look too small. You're looking svelte. They always have an awkward

distance from the shoulder and that belt needs tightening or something you could get a v there kyle that you don't have in the photo i've got i've got sponge bob kyle pants right i've got pistols in each of my pockets so i can't well see kyle like i those photo shoots you did with dan bulzerian it was so funny seeing those pictures because you can see the ones that were like curated to make him look like he's almost as tall as you and then they're the more like organic ones where it's just him hanging around with the girls and like you or some other guys there and it's like i know kyle and he's not six foot eight like kyle's a tall guy but if he's kyle six two that guy's that guy is not

five ten yeah five nine whoever took this photo works for dan uh i'll say that that's okay i mean i mean forced perspective happening in this thing yeah that's okay there's nothing wrong it's like uh frodo and sam this is dan and the guy next to him is like sitting four feet behind her like away from the truck and try and force it i got no problem with that i did the same kind of shit to people i would always anybody i'm six2 with shoes legitimately and whenever and anyway whenever I'm around people who are taller than me

I make sure I stand on something so I tower over them in pictures I am the worst anyone who's taken a picture with me knows that in a situation like we're looking on screen I am on my tippy toes 100% I crouch 3, 2, 1 like we're looking on screen i am on my tippy toes a hundred percent yeah no i crowd like three

two one and just as he starts to say one richard uh i go three inches richard ryan is legitimate like six three or six four i don't remember which but he's a tall fella he he's clearly taller than me when i meet him i'm like oh you're taller so like whenever i'm on camera with him i got my military boots on that some like some army company, you know, would send me some fancy. Oh, these are the new A-Tech boots. The fucking whoever the fuck. And I don't care.

I throw them in a closet. But oh, it's time to stand next to Richard. Let's throw on the big boy boots. And all of a sudden, I'm just this much shorter than Richard. And if I lean just right. You just have to have a conversation with Richard's shoe person beforehand. I had Jason Statham do that to me. I was,

we were on the today's show together and I, you know, we talked for an hour and he, at the end of it, I was like, Hey man, can we take a picture? I don't do this often,

but you're Jason Statham and you're the transporter and you're awesome. So he takes my phone, hands it to his assistant, has her count down and on three two on one he steps forward about 18 inches i'm six five so that we look close ish and it was just so trained he knew exactly when to do it and smile or you know whatever jason statham does and uh yeah yeah so you to. Maybe I need to up my game. That is the step forward because you're in.

That's it. Look at me. The bigger I'm about to get. How tall is Jason Statham? Probably five, eight, nine. Five, eight, nine. Did you know he was an Olympic athlete? Probably everyone knows that.

A diver, right? A diver. Yeah? A diver? Yeah. Oh. That seems hard. One of the useless facts I have. I like Jason Statham. I think as far as Hollywood tough guys go,

I'd say he's in the percentage that probably could kick a little ass. I don't know if he's got it. I don't know what his background is, but he just looks like a guy. I don't know. Maybe it's the shaved head. I also appreciate, as a man who has all of his hair i do understand the that it must be hard for those who don't and it's nice to have a guy out there you know carrying the flag for them yeah i was gonna say something similar you phrased it really well there are a lot of people who are like just

shave it bro and it's like all right but it's not your best look right you know it's the best look you have available statham really pulls it off. I don't know that he'd look better with hair. You can say, ah, dude, you could be a Statham. You can throw that example at me. Now, you know this guy is no Jason Statham. Jason Statham is an international movie star, former Olympic athlete, and a millionaire. Your buddy at Home Depot is just fucked.

Like, Tell him. They'll sell this stuff to anybody. Just take one of these a day and you don't lose it. One tablet. I mean, yeah, your dick might stop working, but you're not going to need your dick if you're bald. There's a few people who look better bald. Jason Statham is one and I just had...

The Rock. Walter Wright is who I'm going for. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bryan Cranston. Bryan Cranston. Yeah. Patrick Stewart's the OG, though.

Patrick Stewart looked good with no hair, but I'm not sure he looked better than a hypothetical Harry Stewart. I've seen him with and without. I don't know. He's always been without. I think of him as a proud, bald man. And I always love how he thought he was going to wear a wig to be Captain Picard. They were like,

in the future, people won't care about hair. That's a superficial thing. Captain Picard wouldn't give a shit. He's bald and he's proud. I saw him lose his temper in an interview about his hair. Have you ever seen this? No. They were asking him, like, hey,

you're one of the sexiest men alive you have no hair how do you feel about that and he's like i don't like it i don't like it at all sometime in my early 20s my hair started falling out it was one of the most traumatic events of my entire life and people keep bringing it up again and again and again given the choice i would have hair but i wasn't given the choice. And it's like, Jesus, dude. He doesn't like being bald. At least he didn't in that interview.

Oh, man. Now that I see this. He could just go get hair. He's heavier now. He can't get this back, though. No, he's like 85. Here, it's already getting. You can see it's leaving him. And he's like 26 here, probably.

He looks older than that to me. Yeah, he does. I think he's skinnier as Captain Picard and he just has a more handsome face for that reason. He's very thin as Captain Picard. Very fit, I would say. He's got some shirtless scenes and he's even got a scene where

he's in bikini bottoms. Way too much. There's a lot of Captain Picard thigh being shown on that episode where he goes to Risa and hooks up with Vash or Vaj or whatever her name was. That's a good episode. Well, guys, I got to hop off, but I appreciate you

having me. I got to hop on another one of these in a little bit. Always great to see you. Thank you so much for coming. You did great. Oh, is there anything you want to talk about before you go? Yeah. Where do they want to go? Yeah. Vin Wiki. Tomorrow we release our next episode of Car Trek. It's our

eighth series and it involves a reproduced Star Trek set. So fits right in with this. We found one in southeastern Georgia where they've recreated it. They are adamant not for pornographic reasons, but it's exact. It's like the bridge of the Enterprise. Which one? I don't know.

I don't have the slightest clue. Tyler Hoover, who is one of my co-presenters on it, is a huge Star Trek fan, and so it was like his fantasy to ever shoot something here. Yeah, that'd be really cool. Alright, we really enjoyed having you.

Yeah, I was happy when I heard you were a guest. Well, thank you so much. Y'all have a great night, okay? Good night. I watched I've been devouring, I should say, these YouTube shorts. I don't know. Yeah, just press the fucking button in another place.

Yeah, and I saw Joe Rogan reacting to, I don't know when Donald Trump told this speech, but at some point he told the speech, and he was like, we're going to tax China 25%. And there's a couple of ways. It's all about the messenger,

not the message. You could send a guy, oh, we're going to tax you 25%. Then you could send a guy that says, listen, motherfucker, we're about to tax you 25%. I had never seen Donald Trump say that and it it cracked me up it like the audience exploded with laughter like Rogan like rolled over oh that's what I really wanted to talk about it was um a question I saw on reddit okay I don't remember where it came about, but it was whether

Joe Rogan could beat up Bruce Lee, and they're both in their prime. And the comment section was full of, like, there were some people who were like, one of these guys was an actor, and one of these guys has done martial arts his whole life. And then there are the people who don't know either of

those things and believe the complete opposite, so it was just a shit show of people arguing over done martial arts his whole life. And then there are the people who don't know either of those things and believe the complete opposite. So it was just a shit show of people arguing over who would win in a fight, Joe Rogan or Bruce Lee. Are we sure Bruce Lee? I don't even know. I thought Bruce Lee did have some level of fighting chops. You know, I think his thing was he was never going to compete or be in a real fight because of his spiritual mantra or something like that. And he's also a very small man.

And not that Joe Rogan is a towering figure by any means. They're probably about the same height. Let me interject. When is Joe's prime? That was my first question. Is prime Joe recent where he's hulked out and kicks that, like splits heavy bags? 20 years ago.

No, like 20 years ago. He has 40 pounds, 50 pounds of muscle on the guy you're talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Exactly. I'm talking about Joe Rogan in the pictures that you see where he's got a six pack and he looks terrifying. He's all tatted up with a six-pack that picture versus any bruce lee that you can conjure is what i'm talking about and and and

fucking joe rogan the podcast host wins he just does joe rogan would absolutely brutalize him i misunderstood what you said do you think joe rogan the podcast host the 50-ish year old they're all the same man but what i'm saying is prime Jovers is prime Bruce Lee. I got twisted up. Apparently, based on this Google, a lot of Bruce Lee's supposed fights totally hearsay. Nobody else was there

for a number of them. I don't know. That's the first thing on Google. Zach has some stuff here. Bruce Lee could land a punch nine times in one second. I find that to be horseshit. Or if he did, they must be taps. What he punched us is saying nine times in one second. His one-inch punch force was a 75-kilogram opponent

five to six meters away. He had a punching power of 350 pounds, while Muhammad Ali, the same as Muhammad Ali. This is all bullshit. That's obviously not true. Muhammad Ali surely hit harder than Bruce Lee did. The person that wrote that knows that there are photos of Mike Tyson, right?

That we can see. There's evidence of him fighting and doing it. Muhammad Ali. I have to say that I think that if they were to fight, Joe Rogan would beat up Bruce Lee. And also because his thing is Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and seemingly Bruce Lee's thing is like that spinning around,

kicking, and – It might be partly just the generations too. Like if Bruce Lee grew up now, he'd be an MMA dude of some sort. Yeah, that's breaking my rules though and and and in my mind joe rogan has access to a time machine and he just cast a no and this is his first trip first trip he's showing up he's throwing the he's throwing gloves to to bruce lee and he's saying let's fucking go like like but it's prime bruce lee it's him on the set of enter the dragon it's that bruce lee i yeah i guess what i'm saying

is in the same way that like the current generation of every sport is much better than the one from 30 years ago because their training methods are better their knowledge is better that might be why joe's better because he just he's further down the road yeah yeah well i think that's definitely what it is like i don't know shit about martial arts but i know that like everybody who i talk to who knows shit is like oh yeah if you're gonna get into it jujitsu that's the one that has the best practical application and was that even a thing back then jujitsu was just some practice by like five guys in brazil or i feel like jujitsu got popular 20 years ago i don't know when it started started but you couldn't have gone to a school in america

less than or more than if we're talking about gracie jujitsu that and i think we are then i don't think it was it was happening during bruce lee's time like like or if it was it was black and white seven guys in brazil i'm making this up but i'm thinking they invented it in the 80s right like like something like that how much of it did they invent like what what did base their Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Is that called Gracie jiu-jitsu? No. There's a family who rebranded it after their own name. It's a marketing thing, but it's Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

But they didn't invent jiu-jitsu. They were just the most famous practice. No one invented fighting. They're the only ones that I knew of. Before Brazilian jiu-jitsu was probably judo. It was a very similar thing just judo focused more on the throw thinking that the fight kind of wins based on who lands on top and jiu-jitsu started with the bottom like most jiu-jitsu sites in a gym start on your knees like they don't even do the takedown part even though it's super important but i did not know that anyway uh yeah i don't know are there any good ufc fights coming up um i had a sonya's

about to fight right i think he's he fought recently um but no one was hurt thank goodness oh no no you're right i don't know what i'm thinking what i don't know what i'm thinking at all um no i don't i don't know of any that are that are on the corner they um i still haven't watched the pena um nunez fight but i heard she got battered um i hope there's not a rematch of that no i i'm not really interested in any of the matchups coming up either i know nate diaz is gonna fight chemayev um and a very odd fight people are giving dana white a hard time about it they're like why are you making this fight why are you feeding nate diaz to you feeding Nate Diaz to Jermia? He's like, you have no idea how hard it is to make a fight with Nate Diaz.

This is what – like he asked for Francis Ngannou, okay? So you've got to work through things like that. Is that a real thing? Yeah. Okay. Francis Ngannou is the heavyweight champion of the world. He's like almost double the size of Nate Diaz. Yeah, it's crazy.

September 10th. Yeah, it's just coming up. Yeah, yeah. So he's like almost double the size of nate yeah it's crazy it doesn't make any sense yeah it's coming up yeah yeah so he's right apparently he's incredibly hard to work with so there's a little backstory that kyle knows but the audience might not nate diaz is a very very popular fighter and he's aging i don't know how old he is but i'm going to call him 37 he is on the last fight of his contract and he'd really like to get out of his UFC contract, use his fame and fight someone like Jake Paul, for example. And they feel like they're giving this older version of Nate Diaz. Who's if you know, fighting, he's not one of the elite guys anymore. And they're feeding him to an up and comer. This guy is an absolute ass kicking machine. He's currently ranked,

I don't know, fourth or something in the weight class, but they're feeding multiple weight classes. He's just like anyone give me anyone. Yeah. And they're feeding this aged unranked fighter to him. And we'll see. Taylor,

there's this really interesting thing that's happening in fighting where you, you have the Conor McGregor guys who are like, I'm going to pick and choose who I fight it's gonna be orchestrated okay there's gonna be a lead up there's gonna i already know what song we're gonna play and then there's guys like this uh chamayev guy who's just like give me fight brother i need to fight i need to smash and it's like like they're like well the only fight we have is 170 pounds yes i weigh this well actually it's 155 i can weigh this give me two day uh he had fought um and won and then like i think he fought maybe another guy like two weeks later like he's like let me get in the next

card i want to fight them too and dana's like well you did just destroy this guy or your hands sore no not at all and just throws him right back in and he beats up another guy like a couple weeks later pretty fun guy to watch yeah good for that guy he knows he's in his prime now he's got to be the squeaky wheel get the i wish taylor was a ufc fan because he would do the best accent fake interviews like he does for hockey players ufc has much better accents. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I'll check it out. Lots of Slavic, broken English, and they have these funny mannerisms. This one guy we're talking about has a hair lip. He's great. From fighting? No. He has a bromance. He has a bone with a cleft.

Pallet? Pallet. I think that's the right thing. I think you have it right. Yeah. And so he didn't get it fixed, or he did get it? It's been fixed, but not super well. I know that Conor McGregor calls him, what, Rat Mouth or something?

Rat Lips? Jesus Christ. Yeah, Conor McGregor calls him Rat Lip. There's a lot of other injuries on this guy. Conor McGregor is not the fighter he used to be and i know i'm a bit of a connor hater but this guy would smash connor and i'd enjoy seeing that oh no dude the ufc fighters and they're just addiction to short bus haircuts just just looking they just look they all look terrible when you see one that looks good like connor like does his hair yeah this guy looks fancy the rest of them are like shaving patterns to look feral like it's scarier there's a certain

connor haircut like a short high tight you know that he's probably only worn once but i think that's the connor and every time he comes out with like cornrows or long hair or shaved head i'm like what are you doing no that's not your hair yeah he needs that thing that's just like it's frankly it's a i'm gonna call it the irish bowl cut all right he needs that irish bowl cut it looks good on him he's got the he's got the skull for it i saw him in interview recently he is like you know sometimes you can see somebody's cutting a promo they're like i'm going into the thunder dome and i'm taking on the undertaker for the belt and fifty thousand dollars they don't mean it they what they mean is like yeah i'm going out on the stage into the Thunderdome and I'm taking on The Undertaker for the belt and $50,000.

They don't mean it. What they mean is like, yeah, I'm going out on the stage with my good friend Mike and we're going to put on that performance that we did in Kansas City last night, but this time he's going to win. Conor McGregor was talking to, who's the black ESPN host that I despise? Stephen A. Smith. Stephen A. Smith is like,

you lost to Nurmagomedov. You lost to Poirier. And he's like laying it out there. And Conor fucking melts down. He focuses on the Nurmagomedov thing, though. He's like, he never beat anybody. You look at the fights his father set him up, taking on guys that were two and six.

His first 20 wins were fake wins. And he's just like, he's so angry. He's so toxic about this he wants him so bad and and that's what i like it's not connor at the end of it the last thing is always i want him i want him and it's like no one wants it but you he's so scary he retired he was so scary you're right i don't know what happens now like i think he's coaching now but and and if you look at him he's really big and thinking it looks like he'd struggle to make 155 and he struggled to make 155 in his prime sometimes so now like how does this guy do three years out of competition after a really bad weight cut maybe connor wins today and i'm not a

big connor fan boy but like connor's at least in the game i think kind of i don't know we'll see wishes he was we'll see how connor's leg is i don't know if he'll ever come back and be the connor of old but i hope that breaks the leg he's wasted dude i'd love to see him he's not a horse or anything but but but like and we aren't horses you know we don't just put us put ourselves down But, like, I hope we get to see him do something. I like the Conor show. I want to see him box Jake Paul or fucking MMA. I want to see him fight Poirier again, honestly. I want to see him fight.

A fourth time. Yeah, fourth time. Roll it out. I want to see Conor fight for the belt and everybody have a meltdown and be so mad. And I want him to win and retire a four-time fucking champion and be the only one, I think. Yeah, I just got a little nervous.

If you Google Conor McGregor right now, it says he died August. It says he died yesterday. He's not dead, but his Wikipedia says he died yesterday. No, pretty sure he's not. Pretty sure he's not. Okay, well, hopefully he fights again. Oh, so there's a – we agree to only talk about politics when it's interesting.

And I think an interesting thing happened in Kentucky on Tuesday – or Kansas, I should say. So it's going to be 80% right. Kansas had a law that they passed making abortion illegal. Okay? And then some – it was already illegal. This is a few years ago. And then sometime around 2018 or 19, that law was taken to court. And in the Kansas Supreme Court, not only did they rule that that law was bad, but that the whole concept of abortion violates the Kansas Constitution.

Right. It violates one of their amendments. So it made it really difficult for Kansas to pass more anti-abortion laws. So Kansas is a very red state. I think Trump won it by 15 points. That's a big win. And the Republicans are in control of Kansas because it's a Republican state because the voters want that. Cool, cool the republicans who are in control set up this referendum where basically they put abortion up for vote in this very red state and being in control they tried to set themselves up for thanks zach you fuck he spoiled it for me so uh um being that they're into control they tried to set themselves up for success on this thing they held the vote on a day that was a primary republicans tend to do better when there's a low turnout and this

particular primary was only interesting on the republican side so a bunch of republicans were going to go to the polls to choose which republicans win the primary and they held this abortion referendum vote on it. Even with that setup, abortion got smashed by, it looks like, is that 18 points? Am I doing the math right on that? Wait,

59 to 41. Yes. Abortion lost. No, no, I said it wrong. I'm sorry. Abortion,

anti-abortion got smashed. Can you get an abortion there now? Yes. Oh, okay. See, that makes it simpler. Thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate your assist. So now

Kansas has become like kind of an abortion haven where this can get done and people will come to Kansas and get their abortions. And it's what the voters want. And they won by such a large majority that even amongst Republicans, abortion is the popular position. Amongst Democrats, it always was that even amongst Republicans, abortion is the popular position amongst Democrats.

It always was, but amongst Republicans, amongst Republicans are pro choice. A little tricky for me to sometimes get it right. And, uh, everyone was watching this as a bellwether to see how things go. And then on that same day across the nation,

of bellwether to see how things go. And then on that same day across the nation, a lot of Trump supported like MAGA candidates won Senate primaries. And this is interesting too. You would think that it means that Trump supported MAGA candidates are popular, but not necessarily. In some of these cases, the Democrats were propping them up, funding their advertising campaigns because they think that in the general, it's easier to beat an election-denying Trump-type dude who's a fringe guy than it is a more central guy who could take votes from the middle. Oh, that's a gamble.

It is a gamble. That's confirmed. They were paying for the ads of the... The DNC was funding what they considered crazy Republicans, and it helped them win. And Trump's backing them, because they didn't want to run against more mainstream Republicans. They wanted...

They feel like I'm making this up, that they could beat Marjorie Taylor Greene, but they can't necessarily beat some normal person. Yeah. So Mitch McConnell has come out. After he saw the results, can't necessarily beat you know some some other guy normal person yeah so um um mitch mcconnell has come out like after he saw the results he's not so sure they're taking the senate anymore in the midterms because they have unelectable people it happened in pennsylvania but not yet not two days ago um dr oz won and dr oz is now getting his ass just kicked by the Democrat guy. Where is he? Pennsylvania.

Oh. Because... His whole name is a fucking mouthful, right? I don't know it. But yeah, so he's getting this wiped up by the Democrat guy in Pennsylvania because this is what sometimes happens

when fringe guys win primaries. Mehmet Genghis Oz. Yeah. And this might be me with my fucking blue hat on. It's a pretty cool name. Wishful thinking. I don't know. Two Zs.

What they're looking at now is a Senate that's hard to predict, whereas previously it was easily going to the Republicans, and a House that's likely to flip and go red. Well, I'm sure republicans have a few tricks up their sleeves i i i remain steadfast that that we're looking at a real red tide here i think that's what we're we're going with uh that's how we're what we're going to call it no period jokes please i think they're just going to sweep across the land and things are going to uh shift back that way and then the republicans are going to fucking crush the economy into the dirt

and we'll swing right back to the left in like 12 years. We'll be good. You heard Kyle here first, full throated roll tide. That's what I heard. Yeah. I'm going to send you a roll tide. No Alabama references.

We'll see. Yeah. Democrats have a hard time of it now because Biden's completely uninspiring and inflation is a problem. They won't run him, will they? Now that's the bad news. Run him or not. Will they run Biden? It's hard to run from their record.

Like the last four years, well, what will be the last four years are going to be attributed to Democrats. And, bro, you know, that's what the truth is, bro. But quickly, do you think that Biden will run for president of the United States? We got a no from Taylor.

I'm sort of 60-40. I think that's the odds that the 60% he did, he will not run. Maybe even more. It would really surprise me. Frankly, I think the most likely the odds that the 60% he will not run. Maybe even more. It would really surprise me. Frankly, I think the most likely outcome is that the man passes away before he can win president. And I hope that doesn't happen because we haven't had a sitting president die since, what, Kennedy? Well, getting assassinated is different than dying of old age.

I know it's different, but I'm just saying that's the last fucking day. It still counts. Yeah. That'd be a shock to the nation. I don't want to see the whole wheels move where everybody moves up a rung on the ladder. Is that what happens? Everybody just shifts up and they're like, sorry, transportation expert. You're the war guy now.

Oh, my God. Oh, no. This rocks. I knew working with those toll booth bastards was going to pay off. war guy now. Oh my God! There's rocks! I knew working with those toll booth bastards was going to pay off. I'm the army guy now. Give me that uniform. I'm sick of being the urban development

guy. That was awful. I don't know where I stand. Do I think Biden's going to run? I don't think he's going to win. You saw him reading that thing when we killed the Al-Qaeda leader recently. I saw the whole long version of it. Hey, I paid for the fucking bullets with my taxes. Yeah, we took out that Al-Qaeda leader the other day. And he was just like all shaky and frail.

And like you could see how much concentration was required. You can see when someone's reading something. I don't know. People who are really good at it have this natural way of maybe moving their head or looking up occasionally. They glance and talk. They glance and talk.

I'm not good at that, at glancing, because I lose my place. I lose my place on coming back. But Biden is fully focused on the teleprompter, doing his best, because he knows it's important that he gets this out concisely and respectfully. A man is dead. With the teleprompter doing his best because he knows it's important that he gets this out concisely and respectfully a man is dead with the teleprompter kyle i don't have you ever used a teleprompter i know i haven't i'm not but the teleprompter it's partly the

teleprompter's job to keep your place you know like you talk and they that thing doesn't move at a steady speed no you know they're moving it. They're changing the pace so that it's always in the spot. You shouldn't have to find your place. They should put the thing in the place. I think that's how it works. I've used cue cards. I found that to be very useful. This seems even harder.

The words are written big. And of course, for Biden, you'd have one word per card. The? Come on, next card bring back the usa card it's fbi but they're just doing one letter per card and like that yeah i found those to be difficult um and uh when i'm reading small text even i've got to like i'm like all right let's fucking highlight some of this shit let's find out where i lose my place. I'm a broken record with this. You talked about Biden reading the thing. So what Kyle's talking about is we killed Al Zuhari, whatever his name is.

Baghdadi. Baghdadi IV. Bad Daddy. Bad Daddy. We killed Bad Daddy, who was previously leading Al-Qaeda. And we watched him, compared to Obama, compared to Trump, announce some major terrorist kills. Cool. Trump was like,

I'm really cool. I was a big part of this. He died like a dog. He died like a dog. His body was mutilated by the blast, and then after the blast, the cave came down and mutilated it some extra. That's pretty close, by the way.

Obama's like, I have great respect for the intelligence agencies and the people that carried this out and trump was like these people were so cool i was there i saw like the whole thing eyeballs his eyeballs came out of his skull they popped right out of there like obama granite berry this is the left eyeball. And this is the topic Kyle was bringing up. Then comes Biden. And Biden is just mumbling through this thing. It was, to say uninspiring. We killed him. If you were inspired going into it, you lost your inspiration during Biden's speech.

He is the worst presidential speaker in my lifetime for sure. I will say this. I'll give him props on his State of the Union. His last last state of the union i don't know what they inject him full of he comes out and he's like the state of the union is strong they practice that line you know how many times you rolled that one out joe god damn you ever hear someone you lip sync that part yeah i like to imagine the initial statement was like the state of the union is strong vibrant exceptional the people here and they're of the Union is strong, vibrant, exceptional. The people here, and they're like,

how about just strong and vibrant, lose the next sentence. Just strong. That's what every president, it's like a tradition. You say that no matter what. We could be losing to Russia and he would come out there and say,

the State of the Union is strong. Every step we take is upwards because there's nowhere else to go, America. You know, like he comes out. They're never going to come out there and be like, boy, biffed it. Sorry, everyone. Give me a chance again. I promise that I got all the nervousness out of the way. If you reelect me, I swear i'll do better next time

such butterflies in my belly i was so nervous that's what we need to do like just an absolute pussy who does nothing and so we can't complain i don't think that biden is up for the rigors of a of an election i don't think that it's always shocking to me that these older men can't do it at all. Cause it seems from what, from what we see from the outside, looking in a presidential campaign seems to be an incredibly rigorous schedule because you got to like press the flesh, right? You got to get in front of so many cameras, so many people, cause every vote really does matter. And, and, and like getting in front of one more camera in San Diego by getting up at 4.30 instead of 5.30 a.m. might actually matter, especially if you do it every single day.

And that's what Trump did. I was looking at DeSantis, and I think he's gaining weight. And I just look at the history. A lot of candidates gain fat when they're on the trail. It must be hard. You can't hit the gym. You're surviving on restaurant food everywhere. You're on a bus going from one city

to the next. Or a plane. It's just a super unhealthy lifestyle to do that much essentially business travel. I'm sure there's lots of late nights and coffee and snacking and nervous eating because it's the most stressful thing you've ever done.

I'm telling you, no one makes good meal choices after 9 p.m maybe you do because your sleep schedules are your own but most people if they're reading after 9 p.m it's not chicken breast it's always bad i never surprised myself with like asparagus. They did not remember. I know we've got our current death pool, but like God, I wish we had a political death pool where we each had one pick because every... Who would you pick? Who's your one? Who's...

All right, so I don't know their names. Is it Mitch McConnell, the one that has all of that drapey neck fat like a bird? Yeah, he's the frog. A little turtle-ish, I think. God, how much longer can that turtle live what disease did he have that did that to his skin do you remember mitch mcconnell's hands turning purple i feel like i thought he lost a bunch of oh his his skin

in his hands he had um he had really purple hands i i yeah let me see if i think it was is that like some like old people get like bruising when they get ivs in i think no it was it was different this was like this was weird like he'd gotten his got in a fight no they were like purple and swollen in a weird way i guess i don't remember specifically how they look yeah well i thought his neck like that was like that because he lost a ton of weight this is a really good picture his picture. When Zach pulls it up, his lips are purple and his hand is badly bruised. Maybe I'm crazy. I have this recollection that Taylor saw that and he's like, Oh, that's whatever.

McConnell's Taylor syndrome. Damn, he does look bad. He clearly had a fall here. Okay. A fall? He has bandages on his hands as well. He fell badly. He has bandages on his hands as well. He fell badly. He ate shit.

On the back of his hand and his lips? Old people fall badly. Looks like he just had a big old drink of purple. I'm sure Mitch McConnell is spry. He did a fucking cartwheel up the wall and saved his hand. Did he fall directly on the back of his hand? Dermatologists say the 78 Senate Majority Leaders' black and blue bruises and bandaged hands are likely a common condition called senile purplia.

Like, senile purple? That's a great name. Oh, now we know why he didn't explain himself. Well, nothing to worry about here, folks. I've got senile purple syndrome. It's called that because there's no money to cure it because I'm already dying. Senile papuya

is a benign, easy bruising that affects older adults. It's sometimes called actinic papuya. This occurs because the skin and the blood vessels become more fragile as we age, making it easier for our skin to bruise from minor trauma. Maybe he did fall. This should be a disorder

tribe calls vagina. Show them your patouille. It is red and swollen. It is because you are 78. Whatever the fuck, how old he is. He would be pretty high on my list, but I can't, i would be

lying if i didn't think that biden who just got covet a second time this week like he was on like provin lex what was what drug did he take provix lovit or something anyway that drug causes frequently people to get covet twice all right well he got it once though so so that can't be good uh i i don't. I would think that guy's not long for this world. He just looks frail to me. I hope that's not the case. I really hope he makes it to finish out this term, and I hope

he doesn't try to run for another term because even though I don't really like him, it's not that I dislike him. He always did an okay job, it seems like, and I agree with most of the stuff he does. We're going to differ on guns and a bunch of other shit but i like how he's handled this russia thing i like that he let europe get their shit together and sort of lead the way and not we're always getting our hands dirty around the world with geopolitics and it was kind of cool to see

us take a back seat and i think that like an alex jones type character who i want to talk about next would be like america's taking a backseat in geopolitics yes thank fucking god we're gonna yeah let's just sit back and watch one go down we've never done that before like let's i don't know we're giving him some arms but oh and by the way he really put a coalition together right the europeans seem to be on board with making some sacrifices and paying more for their natural gas or whatever. He took Pax Lovid, which is I looked into it. I guess it gives you

COVID twice oftentimes. Did you hear what Alex Jones' legal team accidentally did? I did. Do you want to lay it out or would you like me to? Alex Jones is, of course, in a bit of hot water because of the statements he made about Sandy Hooks. Maybe he's in a suit with the parents of the dead children who died in that incident. I'm on team Jones.

And he had testified, the exact particulars don't matter, but I believe he had testified that he hadn't discussed Sandy Hook on a certain date or before a certain date or something like that well his legal team somehow or another sent his entire cell phone record text messaging record and everything else in his phone to the prosecution to the the parents lawyer legal team and so on the stand you got to see him find out while he's on the stand taylor he's sitting there alex jones big red and thick like this this guy is so smarmy about it you almost like our team alex jones he's like do you know mr jones that uh your lawyers accidentally sent us your entire

cell phone text messaging record pause there that's not the start at first he's like i have this text that says you said that and he's like no you don't and he's like do you know where i got this text i got this text because your attorney sent me every text you've sent for the last four years off your cell phone did you know that and alex was like no i didn't know that congratulations this is your perry mason moment or something close to that. Yeah, it was a good line. Where did he find the worst attorneys in America? Have you ever in your life?

I've never heard a story like this. Yeah, there's more. They saw Alex Jones, but it was Alex Jonesberg who was the other guy. Well, it gets worse. It gets worse. They're going through his phone now. Now he's having to answer for his transgender porn yes the parents are mad about that jones's attorneys sent the parents attorneys all his text messages the parents attorneys replied and said hey you sent all this to me and And they could have said, oops, my bad.

That's privileged and kept it out of court. But they didn't. They didn't check their email. They just let it stand. So then it comes up in court. And they had just sent it like three or four days earlier. In court. They're like, you missed your chance.

Now we have this stuff. They didn't even redact lawyer-client privilege. Okay. Anyway, yeah. So his attorneys had an opportunity to say that this stuff they didn't even redact lawyer client privilege okay i anyway yeah so his attorneys had an opportunity to say that uh this stuff is privileged between me and my client and they didn't so they sent the email for about four million i think i read today four million yeah something like that it seems to me alex jones gonna be able to pay this thing off and be okay um and then go back maybe they go back to his ways they're asking for 150 million but you can ask for 150 billion i don't know what that means you know so um um

four million feels low to me i don't know it they want i think 150 million is the amount of revenues that he collected while he was like shaming sandy Hook parents as being crisis actors and liars and stuff like that. And by the way, it's notable that... Oh, he's been ordered to pay. Maybe something went down. It's notable that he knew... What was I going to say? I lost my train of thought.

You would think he's a conspiracy theorist who's misinformed like anyone else, you know, in your life. No, no, no, no. He is running a business of lying to people about the deaths of children in an elementary school shooting. And meanwhile, he's selling survivalist gear about the end of the world and neck thickening. That's good gear. And it takes away some of the innocence like it if there was a guy on this show saying that you know trump really won the election right no

evidence or what everybody sincerely believed it that'd be one thing but he's running a business on top of maybe it's actually pretty parallel i didn't think that through but if there was an idiot on facebook saying shit and that's different to me than an idiot running a business off of that shit so that's what jones did he's a bit of an asshole and by the way we are talking about children who were murdered in an elementary school yeah he shouldn't have joked about that um he ran a business off it he shouldn't have ran a business about that then yeah he so the conspiracy theory is in general that the whole thing was fake and that it was He shouldn't have ran a business about that then. Of conspiracy theories. The conspiracy theory is in general that the whole thing was fake and that it was just done to help for Democrats to get gun control laws passed so that they can control you and take over the country or whatever.

That's his thing. This whole Sandy Hook thing is bullshit. These children didn't really die. It's just Democrats behind it. The whole thing is a hoax. Yeah, I'm almost positive i mean but but all of alex's salient points kyle you can get that i'm like i'm like 95% sure i'm gonna i'm gonna go confirmed on that that this is a thing that happened yeah okay i mean

you sounds it seems risky to me, stepping out there on the ledge. I haven't seen Alex's evidence in fairness. I'm waiting on him to provide it. I just looked up his net worth. You know how you look at normal celebrities' net worth and it's just random bullshit sometimes? No one has any idea how much

Alex Jones is worth. No idea. One says $5 million. One says $10 million. I guarantee it's more than that shit. Guaranteed. Yeah. Unless his lifestyle is silly. It seems like he's... I feel like he has a bunch of listeners.

Where does he live? Does he live in Florida? I think he's a Texas guy. He needs to get to Florida soon. He seems like a Texas guy. Why Florida? You pull the OJ Simpson maneuver, right? They can't take your home and you're able to divest

your other stuff into the home and then you've got this asset that can't be touched. I believe that even one motor vehicle is protected from any sort of seizure. Your wages cannot be garnished there, especially if you're an actor. Acting wages in particular can't be garnished in, especially if you're an actor.

Acting wages in particular can't be garnished in any way there, I believe. And so O.J. has all of the – he's only paid out $133,000 to the Ron Goldman family over the years. And the bulk of that is from when they seized the rights to the book he wrote called If I Did It. He's actually come out of pocket for less than what – you couldn't buy the the bronco today that he drove because those things are collector's items i thought about buying one about two years ago they're not cheap yeah especially his bronco yeah his oh not his i don't want his there was this behind that's the one i want the most we talked about it's like jfk's car so oh that's a good one i should have mentioned that to her that was jfk's guess bronc um there was that instance where where um oj was on a

hidden camera show we talked about this before you remember this and he's undercover as a used car salesman selling the white bronco to a guy and and he is so funny like like if he weren't a murderer he would still be like a celebrity that everyone loved because he's so charismatic he's just like yeah you know gotta make ends meet somehow i'm working here now yeah yeah you know hey hey this is a good car if you need to make a getaway this is the one like is there anyone like more shameless than him with that stuff writing a book if i did it doing like a mad tv sketch pretending to sell a bronco and like um he has no qualms about it i heard a theory interest seems likely he killed those recently oh he killed those people

his alibi was he was like practicing his golf shot in the front yard or something he's like covered in their blood where you do your golfing when you're a millionaire i remember when they were like yeah he was covered in both of their blood i was like oh dang they got him huh he was playing in it like he had but we don't want to need to rehash the oj simpson trial by the way watch that cuba gooding jr show it's so fucking good the the people versus oj simpson it's my favorite oj thing i've ever seen it'll make you root for the juice a little bit all right i'll be honest no at the end though like when he's found uh not guilty there's this cool like the story doesn't end it goes on for a couple uh scenes and you see that he has to live in a

world where he's, this is his world now where everybody is like, Ooh, you're OJ Simpson. Because before this happened, he was such a beloved celebrity that when he walked into a room, it was like, that's OJ Simpson.

Oh my God. Like, like, like you're a hero. He's either your hero or like the guy who makes you laugh or the guy you aspire to be, or just that really cool guy from the insurance commercials. Like he was such a celebrity.

Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode where, where Elaine is dating the guy like Ben Rifkin, who has the name as a serial killer and they're coming up with potential new names. And she's like, how about OJ ooh that's cool and it's like a couple years before all that shit went down

I would watch that it's just like I'm at the age like I was too young to like even know that shit was going on like as a cultural thing as it was happening like in you didn't I watched it almost every day my grandmother was uh obsessed with

it and i spent weekends with her back like during that time whatever year that was that i was probably five or six and i would be with her through the weekends and that's what we watched that was on tv all day and we would sit there and like like i don't know you know my grandma would make like peas for dinner and so you have to like get the peas out of the pod. So we'd sit there like separating peas, watching the OJ trial or like, I don't know, whatever we were doing, it's on over there and we're paying attention as much as a six year old could

pay attention to this thing. But I definitely remember the verdict and how everyone was shocked and hearing basically that a man killed some people with a knife and they let him go and not understanding why. Yeah. Well, they, we were,

I was told why you were told why, because they had, they put a, I don't even know the stories. They let him put a rubber glove on and then try his regular glove. And he did that. No, I was talking about the right.

No, I was talking about Rodney King. That's why I was talking about Rodney King and them not wanting Los Angeles to be burned to the ground again. Yeah, you wouldn't want that. You don't want to burn LA down. You can only burn it down once. God, they need it.

They need it right now. If I lived in LA right now, I'd be like, man, I wish that part of town would catch on fire. Like that whole slum area with that hobo village. Why doesn't somebody burn that out? Why do we never, Oh, I can't say that.

Why do we never pull back? Yeah. I mean, I would not want to hang out in the heroin village or whatever the fuck that is. There, those are, those are regressive homeless people.

I would imagine they're like homeless and indignant about it. I would guess where they're kind of like like in your face homeless not the you know insane person trying to stay away they've accepted their college i think they've accepted that it's a pretty good gig like i bet if you spoke to someone they'd be like oh you don't even understand i've got i get my water from here there's always good bagels down the street. Like I get all the methadone I can fucking take from, from right down there. Like,

yeah, I live in a box, but we get new boxes every Saturday from, from the home people over there. So it's pretty, it's pretty good deal. No taxes, no nothing,

no running water. You know, I don't have a solution for skid row. I don't have the first inkling of what do you give them jobs do they even want jobs are they camping do they consider themselves free spirits are they happy with their lifestyle do they hate their lifestyle are they crazy do you have to go to mental institution the final solution yeah i guess so i mean the mental institution thing is like true like there's you hear people being like these people need jobs and opportunity. It's like, you're right for some of them, but a huge portion of them are mentally ill.

They can't work a job. They're not capable of it. They need to be taken care of in a state facility or something. Let me ask you this. You can't just have them running around. What if we went out to, I don't know, New Mexico or Wyoming, somewhere where we've got some government land. We made a big campsite with some basic stuff like water

and a little shelter. We just started putting them out there. I'm talking about basic stuff like the campgrounds you can go to that already have that metal thing to build your fire in. There's a little shower thing down the trail that you can watch. I'll go a step further. Unlimited ramen noodles. I threw away so many when I moved.

Dude, ramen noodles are like 38 cents a pack. I'll give them three ramen noodles a day. If you buy them in sufficient quantity, I bet they're just almost free. I bet you could use them as laborers on some sort of heroin farm

and they'll work if they know they're going to be paid in small amounts of heroin i would absolutely pay them in small amounts of heroin they just pick tomatoes with like a morphine drip iv bag i mean i was meaning how we're like sitting there like they're like processing the poppy seeds and they're like this is like an episode of how it's Made for a heroin addict or whatever. The problem is they don't want to go willingly. And I kind of think, what I start thinking back to is... Exactly. This is a population

that's never invented the fence, Kyle. I know how to circumvent it. You ever see when they have those kids who are like, they can't, they're the problem children or whatever, and the final solution in this case is like, all right, you're going to military camp or military school, and you don't just go there. They come fucking get you.

I love that. Anytime I'm watching one of those TV shows, I've never seen Super Nanny end that way, with guys taking the kids to military camp. That's how I want every episode to end. I'm going to be like, oh, you don't want to do it Super Nanny end that way with guys taking the kids to the mother's home. That's how I want every episode to end. I'm like, oh, you don't want to do it Super Nanny's way, do you? Well, how about Jocko from

YouTube? And then it's like Jocko Wilnick or whatever. That guy just comes and his opening move is a headbutt to the kid. He's got it. That'd be effective. He headlumps the kid while they're dazed. He's packing them up in their luggage. How do you think Jocko Wilnick would do against Taylor in a headbutt competition?

I think that you've got that immovable object versus that unstoppable force, and we might open some sort of rift in space-time. This is a clash of the titans. This is how we stop 9-11. I would catch him by surprise. That dude wakes up at three in the morning he's in bed by 4 p.m walk in there and then just boom just powderized you know what yeah that's one of my least favorite like tall tales that people tell about themselves if anyone

tells me that i go to bed at 2 a.m every night and and I wake up at 4 a.m. every morning and I'm just that productive. Stop lying. You're so full of shit. You can do six hours, but anybody who tells me they're on some sort of, yeah, I go to bed at midnight, I wake up at 4 a.m., and all day I'm going

hard. It's like, really? Are you insane? I put that right derrick went after this uh chef i think he's a white house chef it's not political but the guy is super strong he's bigger than the rock and maybe maybe zach can find his name that big strong white house chef anyway the guy claims to eat like 8 000 calories a day do like 2 000 push-ups or something anyone who understands fitness is like no you don't eat 8 000 calories a day that's bullshit nobody needs that much fuel you're just telling tall tales

about yourself and i'm still he's on steroids but there's no one who needs 8 000 calories a day not even this guy it's just not true and i also don't believe there are people who only need two or three hours of sleep a night. It's not true. You're just telling tall tales to make yourself seem like a superhero. King Jung Cook. I sleep 14 hours a day minimum. Kyle's like, yeah, I'm unbelievably depressed.

I sleep. If you add it all up. You need to take. Look, you need a good 10 hours at night and then you need two, two hour naps throughout the day to keep yourself, you know, perky. I sleep like a cat.

Yeah. I knocked those two hour naps out in the afternoon and the end in the evening. And that's how I stay so productive when I'm here. Yes. I do this for you people. All right. I'm the one suffering through

a 14-hour sleep day. I hope your fans appreciate what Kyle goes. He rests up all week long for this show. You guys don't know how taxing this is. No. You really don't. After the show, I take a five-hour bath. Ice bath.

Have you ever taken an ice bath? I think I've asked before. know it's it's not fun yeah it's so it's so hardcore it's not have you ever done an ice bath oh yeah i've um i've put thing body parts in ice like uh you know you can like if your foot's super swollen you can put ice on your foot or if you're really hardcore you put your foot in an ice bath i've done that but neck down nothing like what i've done i will not exaggerate here i went to the gas station and i bought four or five of those enormous bags of ice the super long boys and she it was she was asking me why i was buying them and i was like i'm going to take an ice bath she's like why and i explained to her that i was i was trying to make my muscles heal faster by making my –

I was like, I'm going to make my body think it's dying. So it's going to pull all the blood from my limbs to my core and my brain to try to keep me alive. Well, all that blood is going to carry all the, like, broken bits of cells and muscle fiber and everything, and that's going to get filtered by my liver and my kidneys. And then all that new blood, when I warm up is gonna flush into those muscles and i'm gonna it's gonna be carrying nutrients and proteins and it's gonna be good for my recovery and uh she's like sir get the fuck out of here she was locking the door behind her sir this, this is a Wendy's. So I pour that ice in the tub and then I fill it up with water. And I would get in for about, I would measure the time, but I think 11 to 14 minutes, something like that.

Because I read online that you needed to be in there like 12 minutes, 13 minutes. It was something like that that somebody did. And so I had this number. 13 minutes. It was something like that that somebody did. I had this number. I immediately go into uncontrollable shivering and rapid hyperventilation.

I have to do my best to master that. It's really hard. It's not as simple as focusing your way out of it. Like, hey, I don't need oxygen, so I'll stop breathing so hard. It's like okay i gotta i gotta just i gotta just like you're hyperventilating like that as fast and i'm

shaking uncontrollably and it burns it's not cold it burns and but then you go numb after what i'm gonna call seven minutes eight minutes and and and your time and so like as long as you don't go any deeper and like that's i would be completely numb and the water's like up to here and i'd sink a little more and i'm like oh my god this is holding here i wasn't ready my collarbone had no idea what the rest of me was what did my nipples tell my collarbone about this and um and i have some videos somewhere of me in there like like suffering like talking to the camera i don't know they're probably on my last phone but when i but one time i stayed in too long and i literally like dropped my core body temperature or maybe was borderline i was in the early stages of hypothermia i guaranteed if a

paramedic were there he'd be like you have hypothermia because i got in the early stages of hypothermia. I guaranteed if a paramedic were there, he'd be like, you have hypothermia. Because I got in the bed, covered up as much as a man can cover. I'm multiple blankets and shivered for an hour straight. An hour straight and I'm still shivering. I would feel my extremities and they're still clammy cold. Were you a little worried after 45 minutes? Nah, I'm a human body i knew i'd warm up eventually it was just gonna take a while but but like those ice baths are one of

the most hardcore things i've ever done i highly recommend that somebody tries to do it once just to see what's up because you do feel tremendous afterwards if if you're kicking off a workout program the first couple weeks you're gonna have so much muscle soreness this fixes muscle soreness i i didn't it would like like when you're like quads when your quads and like glutes or whatever are just so shredded that just touching them and pushing on them you can feel it'll like suck that pain out of them somehow i don't know what it like like it was so nice for that my workouts are shit right now i knew that with a broken leg, I wasn't going to have the most productive workouts.

I didn't know how much everything would suck. If I'm going 30 feet, I grab the crutches. If I'm going three feet, I just hop, hop, hop. Everything in the gym is just hopping around on one leg. It is so difficult to move my bench. To move my bench, you tip it up like more than you guess, like almost 90 degrees. And then you drag it around on these like, uh, roller blade wheels. Anyway, doing that on one foot and like hopping the bench around is real tricky and kind of

dangerous because you feel like you're going to drop it on yourself and there's no place to sit and overhead press, right? Like, ah, I'll just put one foot bias, for example. That foot's already tired. It's been hopping for 30 minutes now. And now you're 100 pounds heavier because I use about 50s in each hand. And it's just everything's exhausting. Today was leg day. That was bullshit.

I tried to make up leg day exercises that don't involve standing. So good luck with that. I think you need to make up leg day exercises that don't involve standing so good luck with that i think you need to just skip like no it's atrophying so bad i saw your dedication today where you just had weighted fucking sacks on your leg and i could see i could imagine like your mentality as you're doing it. He's pointing at his muscle going. I guess. Woody sent us this video and he's doing leg curls with sandbags on his fucking foot. He's pointing at his leg's muscles

and he's going, they're starting to shrink. They're starting to shrink. I'm like, your legs look great. You're ridiculous. First of all, you'll have some juice and you'll just hold that muscle it can't leave steroids is like a fucking like hostage taker for muscle it's like you're

going any fucking way sit down don't worry boss i got him go have a donut the muscles are all under control don't move a fucking muscle well that that's the most tempting thing about steroid you've ever said hold your muscles hostage you could just stay i mean like you're not losing muscle it i remember like when i hurt my shoulder a few years ago i had in my head i'm like if i miss a month of work my muscles are all gonna shrink like you need to like immediately stop eating enough protein and do like nothing for months for your muscles to go down. Like very noticeably.

I mean, I think muscles atrophy a bunch in two weeks. Like if you have a cast on and you really. Yeah, maybe because there's no use at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I you'll be fine. You know, you're going to come out of this thing and be able to do your full workout in a bit.

And the thing about, like, losing muscle that you've gained is you gain it back way faster than you build it. Once you've built muscle, it's like laying, I don't know, this lattice work within your body that can be filled in. You know, oh, yeah, you need more muscle? We already got the framework built. We just took down the paneling. Yeah. It's easier to, like to lay it back up. It'll come back, but better still would be to work it while it's in the

cast, so I have less of a hole to climb out of. I mean, you could always talk to Derek. I'm sure he could help you dig your way right out of that fucking hole. He'll give you two shovels for each hand. With four shovels total? This sounds great.

You're going to throw a new arm. You're going to win. You'll be like Goru or whatever from Mortal Kombat. I mean, at a certain point, I'm getting less done with three shovels. That's what the third arm is for. It has a shovel too. And you're so jacked,

you could do one arm per shovel full loads. Yes. Did you guys look at or I guess not look, see what's going on with the WNBA player in Russia? I only know that she was convicted and sentenced for nine years. I saw that.

Nine fucking years. Yeah, she needed Kyle's attorneys. That's so fucked up. What's going to actually come of this? She had a weed cartridge or something in her bag or a couple of... And they're letting her live.

And the Russian generously are allowing her to live. What's going to happen? Does she just not get sent back? I think Biden has already offered a trade we have someone of value that russia wants dealer i saw the arms is that what it is yeah and um i either will make that trade or we'll sweeten it or something can i say this first of, my best guess would be... No, I'll take that back.

I guess that's not true. I hope after we trade a fucking arms dealer for her, after she smuggled drugs to Russia, by the way, because that's clearly what happened. Whether you like it or not. Wait, pause. She smuggled drugs to Russia implies dealer to me.

Is that where we are? No, I? She had some bait cartridges in her luggage and she flew to Russia. I wouldn't even do that. Kyle just means that if she was bringing in drugs that aren't allowed. As far as the Russians are concerned, she smuggled some drugs into Russia. You have drugs on you?

Zach has something relevant. Russian prosecutors of trying to smuggle less than one gram of cannabis oil in her luggage uh help me out is one gram of cannabis oil it's like it's like one cartridge yeah it's one cartridge is a gram okay yeah so this is obviously she just wanted to get high yeah oh yeah yeah yeah the charges didn't involve like like um um. It was a charge of like, hey, you have this. And you can't have this here. It says she was charged as a dealer. It sounds like

bullshit. As a dealer? Well, that's insane. Because if she had one car, what were you going to do? She used it for pain in her knees and her back. I use it for glaucoma prevention. Please. I use it when I'm bored. That's the ultimate illness. We use it when i'm bored that's the ultimate illness

we use it when we're fucking having a good time that's when she was using it to her knee and back yeah that's what fixes a pro athlete's muscle soreness is weed get out of here with your fake i i hope that she's a real biden supporter when she comes back i'd kiss his old wrinkly ass if he traded an arm stealer for me that was one thing where i thought trump got burned trump saved that it might have been one of the ball brothers but there was a ncaa basketball player who got into a lot of trouble very early in trump's term and i think it was china not russia and he negotiated for this guy to get special treatment he brought him back home and afterwards they were kind of ungrateful. And it's like, bro, listen,

you might not like Trump or his politics, but he saved your ass. And you're, you know what you say after that? Thank you. Or you just say exactly what you just said. Maybe you'd be like, you know, I might not,

I might not like Mr. Trump's politics, but I just came from a Chinese prison. I don't know if you've ever been in one before. Anyone, anyone here been in a Chinese motherfucking prison before? No. Yeah. I don't know if you've ever been in one before. Anyone here been in a Chinese motherfucking prison before? No. I'm very thankful for Mr.

Trump for getting me out of that motherfucking Chinese prison. Thank you, Mr. Trump. I had my eyes opened. The America I thought is not nearly as bad as I thought. It's actually way chiller here than I imagined. You guys would not believe the lack of chill in China.

Not joke appreciators. Let me tell you. There was that one guy also, I forgot about the basketball, the ball player, but the other guy, the guy in North Korea, remember when they sent him back brain dead?

Oh, and he died immediately. Yeah, because his parents apparently, after reading The guy in North Korea. Remember when they sent him back brain? Oh, and he died immediately. Yeah, because he like his parents. Apparently, after reading about the Brittany Griner thing, I was like, what was the other guy's name? Otto Warm Beer. So I looked it up and like they pulled him off a food tube when he got back. Like he was totally brain dead. They did something to him. And apparently like the big thing he did was he tried to take a propaganda poster from his hotel room with him

and they sentenced him to 15 years of hard labor. I feel like that's I don't like that you can do that to an American like North Korea is just like, all right, this guy did nothing. We're going to beat the fuck out of one of your citizens just beyond recognition

to the point where he dies upon his return home. I'm okay. Okay. I'm interested you know i've never been offered a all-expense-paid trip to beautiful north korea before but but were i to be offered one and were i dumb enough to go and were they dumb enough to accept my felonious ass into their great and beautiful nation, then I certainly wouldn't steal anything while I was there because, oh, that's right,

we're in North Korea. No, I'm not going to steal anything. I'm not going to pull any Seth Rogen hijinks while I'm there. No, nothing like that. I'm going to mind my P's and Q's, and I'm going to follow the goddamn rules because I think they're super

against rule breaking there. They seem to be staunch on the whole follow the rules thing. They are sticklers. He was invited to Hong Kong and traveled to North Korea on his own. Wow, there's a call. You should not go to North Korea.

It seems like a terrible place like i was thinking about it with like russia or north korea any of those countries and like you said kyle i was like if i had to go to russia or north korea or china i would literally buy a new suitcase for that because when i went to jamaica i got back home and realized i had one of those carts just sitting in my bag like it was legal here but i'm sure it's not legal there and like that just happened one million percent on accident and so i would like you'd i'd be that's how i got in trouble one of those accidents yeah you'd have to be like it'd be scary to be in north korea or russia or somewhere to be like this is not america dude like they're looking for something from you like they yeah what are you doing?

Taking something out of a hotel room in North Korea though. Do you think they're going to check our bags? Yes! Yes! They're going to check everything! And you're 100% right. I don't disagree with anything you're saying, but I just feel like

a person doesn't have to be incomprehensibly stupid to make that mistake. I think I wouldn't. I think I wouldn't steal a poster from a hotel. But, damn, that's the kind of thing I do want. Would you take a picture you're not allowed to take? What if you took a picture you're not allowed to take? I'm almost positive that when you go there,

you are warned by either our consulate or somebody on our side tells you, like, oh, you're going over there? This guy listens to warnings. Yeah. Do I look like a guy who listens to warnings? I hope that these days they say something like... You got an American flag shirt on?

Just walking over there. I hope they have a copy of the fucking photo or whatever that he tried to steal in the South Korean side. And they're like, you see this? Yeah. copy of the fucking photo or whatever that he tried to steal in the south korean like side and they're like you see this yeah this is what they beat auto to death over he tried to take one of these it cost eight cents and it's made out of chinese lead paint and but this guy the guy who stole it was like one two he was super young he was like in his he was like 20 or something so he

just made like a stupid error. And so I totally understand what you're saying, Woody. He made a stupid mistake that shouldn't be forfeiting his fucking life. You do have to follow the rules when you go there. But I can see as a 20-year-old, he's thinking, if they find it, they're going to steal it and finger wag me, not put me into a coma and kill me. Wrong.

20-year-old made could have been that dumb yeah look any 20 year old could be that dumb like for sure like as far as when you said like an innocent mistake like i thought you were talking about the cart thing and that's totally possible i i imagine people do that constantly like yeah but i doubt that this chick i doubt it was accidental but like even so like it's just not a fucking big deal. I was really hoping that WNBA star wasn't going to be high enough to get her out of trouble, a cool enough position, if you will, to get her out of trouble.

But apparently, that'll do. Have you seen Bill Burr's take on the WNBA? It's in his most recent comedy. Dude, I love it. He's like, women, women let down the WNBA. Not me. I watch tons of fucking sports. I watch the dude. I love it. He's like women, women let down the WNBA. Not me. I watched tons of fucking sports. I watched,

I watched the NBA. I watched football. I watched this. I watched the UFC. Can't get enough of it. What? I'm supposed to watch the WNBA. If you want women basketball players to be famous,

you watch them. What do I have to watch them? I already watched the guys play. You watch the girls play. It's women who aren't watching. And it's yeah that's true actually there are there are no women watching the wmba why is it bill burr's job to watch women play like it's not i want to say there was an instance recently where they were talking about like getting the pay straight and they found out the women were actually making more or something like that so they cut their pay

oh that was that was the u U S women's soccer team. I think where they, without knowing how much the men's team made, we're like, we want as much as the men. And they're like, you make more than the men. You're now making less.

Interesting. Cause the, the women, I was going to say are better. That's the wrong phrasing. They're more successful, right? They play against other women and they're usually contenders.

The American team for the two, they always podium. And they usually, they often win, whereas the guys' team, they don't do that well. No. I don't think men's soccer have ever done well. I couldn't care less. It's just not a fun sport to watch. Yeah. I'm sure if I was a European, I would like it.

Oh, I'm sure if I'd been indoctrinated into it. Sure. Yeah, you watch baseball. I think that think that's it i was about to say i mean i watch some baseball i'm not gonna stab somebody over it like those hooligans across the world will would that's another sport they get intense i like that they're into hockey and street fights yeah i meant to say yeah i don't know you know that it just seems like they should there's not enough scoring i mean baseball suffers from the same thing i guess but but at least there's no baseball there's a good baseball there's this sort of back and forth struggle but i guess there isn't soccer too what's a normal baseball score about five five

call it ish no obviously it's not gonna be a tie but sure sure i mean i i think that's high scoring honestly i think if i had to guess i'd say the average is like five total scored runs like a three two game feels average to me okay okay let's see yeah between four and five runs you're right that's way less or per team uh total total okay yeah so 10 or no no no per team four per team, four per team. So that's like eight total. That's pretty good. That's way fucking higher than soccer. People always dislike the blowouts,

but I always loved it when we would just mop the floor with somebody and it'd be like a 17-run game or something. You'd have like an eight-run fifth inning. I loved it. Yeah, that's what's fun. I'm pretty sure, this is a while ago, but the Phillies were down by 15 runs coming into the ninth and they came back in one and uh the like ownership left the game and didn't watch the end and they like roasted them and poured like uh you know drinks on them and stuff yeah i think it was a good-hearted thing you know yeah that's fair no i think that uh last time i looked i think the

mets were ahead of the braves thankfully three and a half games up which is not a lot in baseball i don't think yeah oh i mean it's august well the cardinals are only half a game behind milwaukee for the top of central as i knew before i opened this page because i follow what's going on i mean that, that's seven games total, but I'm sure we have at least a couple of series against the Mets before the year's up. So that's the cool thing about that is like, oh, we get our chance. Like the best team is going to get there

because the Mets and the Braves are going to play again and we can sweep a three-game series and be right in it. I like your phrasing. Yeah, and I like your whole thought line. Like the better team is going to win. We're going to play each other. There's an opportunity for us to come back or you know lose the lead but better team will win yep we'll get a chance a lot of sports basketball needs less scoring it needs to be less scoring in basketball let me talk look you know about how i fixed the nba like four years ago you remember that right? I remember you had some theories.

One of those fucking behemoths off the court for each team and play four-on-four basketball. Four-on-four basketball, 15-foot hoops. I said 12. Trampolines. I see where you're headed. Well, they already tried the trampolines. That didn't pan out.

Yeah, but the amount of shattered ankles you got to see and jump ball or whatever that game was called. It was pretty cool. Do you remember that when they had it on Spike TV? I remember watching it and being like too young to realize this was not like the emergence of a new popular sport that was going to take

the world by storm. I was still in like Africanized B mode of thought process and I was like, I can't wait for this to be on TV. I wonder what team St. Louis will have in the basketball trampoline league. Or like, can't wait until we can... Or until your high school has it. Yeah, until high school and I will have in the basketball. Or like, can't wait till we can wait till my high school or until your high school

has high school. And I can be on the team. Dude, basketball trampoline. I think someone broke their leg. Like every week. It wasn't mostly trampolines. There were like three foot iron sheets in between the trampolines with a

thin bit of mesh on top and people would come down hard. Part of the way it works, one leg would stay on the matting and the other would go between the trampoline and the floor down under. It wedged in there. It was absurd.

The way you play defensive trampoline is like you're coming and I jump in front of you and dead tramp it or I super tramp it and like the whole they were good and it was crazy and it was so dangerous but it was good TV. I would like to talk to someone who played in that league

like today and like hear what that was like and that like I wonder like are those people who like maybe played in some small college basketball team and they're like oh y'all starting up the trampoline basketball league? Fuck yeah, man. Yeah, right. Walking devil race.

Okay, let's go. I'll see if I can get off from my UPS job right now. Yeah, I got Thursdays off. Can we push the game to seven? Sure, sure. The cameraman says yeah. Yeah, that would be cool if that was still a game. The XFL is what I thought was going to be cool.

That's coming back. No, it's not. Vince McMahon got me too'd, and he's having to step down from everything. He's definitely not bringing the XFL back. So look, if Vince McMahon had sexually assaulted a woman, I would be anti-McMahon. But it's my understanding that she was well compensated for her time and that she was a beneficiary in this until she decided she wasn't happy anymore. Is that true? Well, I mean, I just said it.

Sounds like she was a liar. Is this one of those scenarios where he paid her to keep quiet and now she's not keeping quiet and she owes him a lot of money i think the opposite i maybe so you know he's gonna make a bit we're being fact-checked well that's irrelevant well we're talking about whether he should be me too or not right, right? Yeah, yeah. So, all right, noted. Vince doesn't own the XFL. I think this time, I think the first time he might have. He's a big part of it.

Yeah, right? Wasn't Trump a big part of it the first time? I think he was, like, you know, I think Trump slides into things. He's like, just call me a producer and I'll be here promoting you. Like, I think he's real sleazy and slimy like that. Just slide me onto the end credits yeah in any case uh yeah no i thought he had a like a he had a good relationship with this woman who was working for him indirectly of course he's at the very top she didn't direct report

and uh and then somewhere along the way she decided that because i worked for you this wasn't okay and you owe me extra cash well that's a shame because vince uh is in a lot of my favorite internet memes there's the one where he's like oh like melting down like more and more and more uh great meme great meme and uh the money walk that uh conor mcgregor borrowed oh he does i think it's yeah yeah okay i like the strut for thatut. That's a very good strut. I like that. Another good meme, yes. He gets tackled by Trump.

That was a meme. He let Trump tackle him because he was jacked and Trump was fat. As if he could have stopped him. Yeah. Are you suggesting that if he stood in front of the Trump train, he would stop it? I mean, it depends how much inertia Trump has. Because if Trump is running at

you that he's got a low center of gravity huge quads from a different cloth okay what you got to understand is you're dealing with a super athlete you know you're not just dealing with someone who was born into something who was born to do a thing but you're also talking about someone he always had the makings of a varsity athlete. He's not only been raised to do this, born to do this, if you will, perhaps prophesied to do this from long ago, but he's

been trained, training every day, devoting himself to it. He's just a master. He could have been anything. The XFL is coming back in 2023, Kyle. The XFL is coming back the the eight cities are dallas houston las vegas orlando san antonio seattle st louis dc no team in atlanta huh no atlanta team yet trust me we'd have gotten behind something like that

okay falcons fucking blow of course they went georgians love football and we know how to get low brow here okay like like we would love a few more ufc events as well it's bullshit there aren't Falcons fucking blow. Of course they would. Georgians love football. We know how to get lowbrow here. We would love a few more UFC events as well. It's bullshit. There aren't any here. I don't remember the last one that was here. I would go and sit in the shitty seats that suck and look at a big screen and hurt my neck.

I would go. If the UFC held an event in Raleigh, I would definitely think about going and then watch it on TV admiring how cool it was that it was nearby. That's right here. As you walk to the fridge. I could have gone to that.

I would go and I would North Carolina's on TV. Sorry, Kyle. I want the tickets that are near the walkout area. i want to get like a really close look at the the fighters to kind of like it sounds stupid to phrase it this way but size them up like i want to i want to get a real world perspective of how big this human being is because i've sat i've had good enough baseball tickets before that i was just like holy shit

you really are 6'4 240 huh jesus that is a big man but i i wonder if i saw like i don't know someone someone that was like 145 pound or if i'd be like huh you are a little guy or if i'd be surprised that they walk around like 190 on fight day i don't know i'd like to see them closer well hopefully they bring one obviously i saw Joe plenty of times. Definitely bigger than 155. Yeah. I like it. The coolest thing about being there in person, and most of it's less cool than TV,

but the coolest part about being there in person is you get to look at what you want to. And in my case, that's the losers. Girls. You watch them fight, and you really only see the winners that guy that's knocked out laying on the ground suffering the guy that's had the worst day of the last five years right now at his lowest low whose team is trying to pick him up like physically and morally or morally i don't know and um emotionally i should say like it's fun to watch that guy

it's the cameras go if a guy's having a really hard time the cameras aren't on him anymore it's done you're just seeing the winner jump around yeah they spare him that yeah but when you're there you get to see that you get to see him walk back to the locker room or get carried you can scream at him and there's like what you can you can wait until he's concussed and everything he thought was going to come to fruition has failed his dreams have like crumbled right before his eyes like 30 seconds before and he's got a little brain injury and you're right there to spit in his eye you can really give him what for what happened and you like call him whatever like mean name he doesn't like hearing it's easy to

forget that half the people that play that night no. No, I like when they console the guy who lost. But usually what you see is he's so concussed. He's walking by. They're like, it's okay, Jim. And he's like, get the fuck off me. I don't know who you are. The fuck are you? Yeah.

So I was at the fight where Joe Lozon lost to Anthony Pettis. It was in Tokyo. And his memory starts up again back in the locker room, like seven minutes later. Fuck. And it was, I talked to one of his cornermen and he basically explained that it was emotionally difficult on him to carry Joe back to the locker room.

He's like, I got to do, you know, and it was like, it was hard on him emotionally. Yeah. Like shit. That's the stuff you only get when you're there because that on him emotionally yeah like shit that that's the stuff

you only get when you're there because that's not on film yeah it's real sad and and you know i don't think you get that many other sports it sucks to lose a game of anything but man when it's all on your shoulders when there's no one else to look to when it was all it's just you and then not only that not only did you lose but you were physically beaten you were assaulted you're bleeding and broken and your brain doesn't quite work well so processing all of what i just said is is difficult in a way that it's never been before like listener i don't know if you've lost a fight before, but it's embarrassing. Everyone knows you lost. You just got beaten by another man 1v1 in a very pure form of combat sport.

And there's no excuses. There's no team to hide behind. There's nothing. It's just you were defeated by that guy. And I don't know why that's funny. It is. I think it is funny. It surprises me that professional athletes like Chael Sonnen, for example,

has talked about it. He's embarrassed that he lost in front of him. He's like, I was there with no shirt on. Everyone saw me. And I lost straight up to this guy. Everyone knows about it. It's embarrassing. And I'm just like, really?

Because I don't think of it as something that should be embarrassing to you. One, you're a pro who's been here before and two that guy you were fighting was outrageous right he's also a professional like yeah yeah dude there's no if i rolled with anyone who's ever been in the ufc i would lose and i would be like yeah well obviously i think you could take bj pin after he's had a night of drinking and you've got your foot healed up. I'll say this. I'll I know it's time to do ads, but like you sick. You make BJ Penn do. Seven shots of tequila and you wait for it to kick in, give him good 20 minutes. And then Woody taps him on the shoulder and says, let's fucking go. And then when he grabs him him. Woody wins that fight.

This is me fully healed. A little bit of training. Yeah, you freshen up. Joe's going to give you like a two-week refresher course. Should we do a little mini fight camp? Yeah, a mini fight camp. And you're going to be all over that. Is BJ Penn in a coma?

He's a Hall of Famer. He's a hall of famer he's a so he's a hall of famer in the ufc and he's about the right size for for woody to fight i would say they're probably roughly the same size these days maybe yeah i don't know he's but he's losing bar fights now he's losing but i heard he woke up after losing the bar fight and went round two and beat the guy up what that's the that's the way i read it online oh if he wanted a round two with me i would decline yeah he took the rubber he took the rubber all right you should knock those ads out i'm sorry his profile pic on instagram is from like 15 years ago yeah yeah he's put on a little weight but who hasn't all right this episode of pka brought to you by some wonderful sponsors one of which is blue jew spring has finally come so let's help you do the same.

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Our competitors are not as effective because they're a joke. Every time I'm in an adult store, buy my lubricants and oils. I see their fake cum supplements that they've got back there, and I scoff. I always scoff, and I say, I see you've got back there. I always scoff. I say, I see you've got that shit. I tell them about Lock and Load. I spit on the cashier because it might have been his call. I'm not allowed to go back.

That's what Kyle does at sex shops. What I actually asked about last time I was there was, I was like, is that an entire sex doll in a cage? She was like, yeah, yeah. that's a sex doll in a cage. Some people freaky. I was like, how much is that sex doll?

And she was like, $3,800. Without the cage. Those toys are so expensive. Kyle, all right, here you are. Here it is. Hypothetically, you're a girl in this scenario. You're no virgin. Better yet, you're

a semi-pro. Bit of a slug. But all of your toys were stolen. You get one back. What do you choose? Oh, the wand. The wand is your wand. Yeah, the wand comes with attachments too. Maybe that's cheating, but I'll just take the naked wand if it is.

Yeah, the wand is the most versatile yeah yeah the wands well you know the one well if you're gonna do something yeah it's all it's all that's all faithful right there you know you break him out you know you're getting uh you're getting a hit you know you know you're getting if you're yeah if you're reaching for it you know over there at all you got all your bats lined up you're about to step up to the plate and you need to you need to get a hit for the home team you're reaching for it, you know, over there, you got all your bats lined up, you're about to step up to the plate, and you need to get a hit for the home team. You're grabbing the wand. Oh, yeah. The wand, first ballot Hall of Famer. Yeah.

Patchel page of fucking sex toys. It doesn't miss. I think you guys are stuck in the wooden bat era of sex toys, and you need to step up to the clit-sucking toys. That would be your selective one? We're going aluminum. Yeah, I'm telling you

there's a new generation of toys out there and your wand is not it. I got a shop back. There's no muffler. Hang on, hang on. I'm sorry, baby. I need more quarters. Do you have any need for me to last more than the clit sucking toy in your arsenal you don't have to last more than 30 seconds this is where you want to be all right i'll get a clit sucker do you have any clit suckers that you recommend

woody i could give you a link i was like i mean why stop at me why doesn't the world get to know about clit sucker money can buy? I'm serious. You can't keep this data to yourself. We have to share it. It's called the Womanizer? What? The Womanizer 2? I want to see this one. Is that really? It's made by DeWalt.

It's made by Black and Dicker. Yeah. 24 volts of sucking power Premium too What a terrible name I hate it Well the womanizer part is funny

Alright I mean I guess I want the blueberry one though It's only got 19 reviews Woody I guarantee we look up the wand Shit ton of reviews Well sure sure i mean it's like if i if i asked you guys for lube advice you come back with vaseline yeah all right what is this 1962 we've moved on since then let's see let's see some of the reviews of this who who

hates it oh avl hates it a year ago one. This was agonizing. It was torture. Like someone was giving my clit electric shocks. No instructions on how to use it, so I might be doing something wrong. But it's really simple. Maybe not for me. Ouch. She stuck a clit in the battery side. She put a nine-volt directly on the clit.

This lady says, rubbish. Complete waste of my money. Won't ever buy something from Ann Summers again. This bloke is pissed, complete waste of my money Won't ever buy something from Ann Summers again This boy is pissed and she's horny Are you picking out the negatives? Yes Less than a month later it won't hold the charge And this is your lifetime pick?

Mm-hmm If you get one of those corded wands That's gonna Your grandchildren can get girls off with that Yeah If you get one of those corded wands, your grandchildren can get girls off with that. Yeah. It's like flying a gun.

What, are you going to break it? Be respectful. This was my grandmother's. Steam-powered. steam powered give me a nugget of that coal give me the coal trust me off or not thanks a while

build a head of steam a steam powered I was talking to someone today the wall of bed. You've got to build a head of steam. A steam-powered vibrate. I was talking to someone today, and they didn't know the saying, cutting the mustard. Really? I was like, yeah, I don't know about that one. That one doesn't exactly cut the mustard. And he had no idea what I was fucking talking about. No, he is kind of right.

It's a phrase, I know what it means, but it's not intuitive. Okay. I guess not, but I feel like it's a common usage. Is that it? I feel like everyone should know what it is. It is common usage. I don't know what it means, though. Like, are you cutting a sandwich with mustard on it?

Well. Are you diluting the mustard when you cut the mustard? All I know is that when you cut that mustard, you've accomplished the goal at hand, and you've lived up to expectations, you're up to par, etc., etc. Yeah, so Zach explained what cut the mustard means. It means

if someone can't cut the mustard, they're unable to succeed. I just don't know why it means that. I need the origin. Yeah, because you only use it in the negative. You never say, that really cut the mustard for me. Ah, you didn't quite cut the mustard, did you? Yeah, it's a mean saying. Couldn't stand up to that mustard.

It was too thick and viscous. You couldn't even cut it. Yeah, too spicy for you, you bitch. Oh. Okay, they had to actually cut the mustard crop down, like the stalks of mustard thing. That makes so much more sense than the sandwich. And you had to have a scythe

sharp enough to quote-unquote cut the mustard. So if you had a good scythe sharp enough to quote unquote cut the mustard so if you had a good scythe it was okay crop could grow up to six feet high and was very arduous work requiring extremely sharp tools when blunt they would not cut the mustard okay hell yeah all right man i learned something yeah i hadn't even considered that mustard didn't come from bottles yeah i can't wait to like be drunk in a year and incorrectly explain that to someone just like get it wrong at someone's barbecue no no that's what it is i thought mustard was born in a bottle and started there well i know you grind mustard seed and like add

vinegar and salt and water or something and then you make like mustard mustard are there things kyle that you could buy this is food that you could buy but you consider just not to be made at home like there's lots of other products that you consider not for home construction you know you don't make cars at home you don't make many iron parts you don't like there's a lot of things like oh this requires a big manufacturing facility to do right yeah are there cooking items that you think is a big manufacturing facility to do right yeah are there cooking items that you think describe that too um that are which side of it the side of it where you should just go buy this or like you know this is too much to be manufactured at home um cooking this is too

pasta is uh it's pretty difficult to make um donuts would be are easy to make because you're literally like pouring like you like mix up batter and you pour that into boiling oil and oh don't hot it's like done they're like suit the easiest thing to make but uh but what about a more complicated donut that has a jelly in it you know you bake them and you inject some i mean sure it's easier to buy donuts than make donuts but they'll taste better if you make them right i think there are some things where there's like no advantage so like ketchup is one ketchup has been perfected that in particular there's i i watched maybe adam ragusa or maybe one of those youtube chefs who he's like all right we're gonna take the taco bell whatever the fuck and we're

gonna make a good one like he does that sort of shit and he was like well i mean we're gonna make ketchup but just so we're clear these guys mastered it like 180 years ago, and there literally is no topping them. I was stuck on donut because I read an article that said donuts were really difficult to make well, and they don't get the credit like people who make steaks well. And I'm only as good as my source. I don't know anything about cooking. The world knows this.

There's two kinds of donuts. There's the donuts you bake, and there's the donuts that you fry. I don't know much kinds of donuts. There's the donuts you bake, and there's the donuts that you fry. I don't know much about baked donuts. Baking in general is a different kind of cooking. Is there something in Indian food, a curry, something you're just like, no. To buy ingredients and create that is not something you do at home. Yeah, I've tried to cook a lot of things that are really difficult. I found that hot and sour soup, which is like a Chinese food soup.

I love that soup, but it's really difficult to find a restaurant that makes a good bowl of hot and sour soup. So I set out to make my own ones and the list of ingredients, odd ingredients that don't show up in shelves. Are you saying Livonia is not known for its Chinese cuisine? I'm saying that Atlanta isn't known for having a lot of black fungus on hand when you go to the grocery store. That's one of the dehydrated black fungus is one of the ingredients along with tofu

and bamboo sprouts and any number of weird sauces and liquids that have to be added to soup. I came to the idea that it's absurd to make your own hot and sour soup because of that list of ingredients. It's like an $8 bowl of soup

that I didn't really even want that much because it's summer. So now I just order that. But then there's some things that it's like, oh, you spent the time to do that. It's really going to show. And that comes with, I think, with like chicken stock and beef stock,

seafood stocks that you make instead of just getting a bottle of something and pouring in there if you take the time to do that and it does take time like you can definitely taste the difference taylor can you think of anything a food that you know you'd commonly get at a restaurant but you just wouldn't attempt at home i mean any asian shit other than stir fry like because you always try and like make it healthier and so you don't put like msg and all the butter and oil they do and it never turns out the way you want it to i'm not convinced msg is so bad for you it's not bad for you at all i have bottles and bottles of it i have a bottle it's called accent and it's literally just msg i haven't used it but i have

a bottle it's called monosodium glutamate. No, this is in the back. It says excellent monosodium glutamate. MSG. Motherfucking, that's all that's in there. It says open, like it opens up the flavors. Yeah. Which is probably the most impressive. Like that's more impressive than gunpowder.

It does the same thing salt does, but better. It's super salt. And there's nothing bad at all. Does it raise your blood pressure? No more than salt does. No, that's not okay. I'm not looking for a tie. I's nothing bad at all. Does it raise your blood pressure? No more than salt does. No, that's not okay. I'm not looking for a tie. I'm looking for a substitute.

We're not here to be a baby about blood pressure. We're making chili. I'm a bit of a baby. I gave you that new drug. Take it. Oh, I haven't tried that yet. Yeah, yeah. Get on that bandwagon.

I'm about to start taking it. I just got it the other day. It's prescription. Yeah, it's a prescription blood pressure medication. With a lot of supposed other positive benefits. Like a laundry list of them. Dude, I love it when drugs do that.

They're like, oh, do you have high blood pressure? This is the drug for you. By the way, symptoms include higher IQ and longer dick. Now careful. Your dick's going to get real hard. Fine. You know what needs to exist?

It might be TRT. A male birth control. I want something that reduces your sperm count, increases your muscles and your energy and just happiness and well-being. Well, TRT does all those things, but it doesn't lower your sperm count to

the point of being birth control necessarily. It definitely makes things a lot less likely. But again, I had this exact conversation with Derek once. I was like, how low will my sperm count go if I don't take? Because there's a drug you can take to protect your sperm count. I know a guy who's using Derek's clinic,

and he sent me over the drugs that they sent him. He's like, yeah, I don't know what any of this is, and I'm reading through it, and I'm like, oh, this is, I don't know this one. I was like, what is this? And he's, I should know it. Why am I not on this? And he was like, oh, Derek's, or not Derek,

but his provider, they said, oh, this is to protect my sperm count in case i want to have kids i was like oh yeah i specifically remember turning this down i was like don't you ever get that shit anywhere can you go to zero i don't want it to be i don't want bottles of that to touch bottles of my shit but that's the thing like so if testosterone lowers your sperm count and does all these other great things for you yeah then it seems like we're close i just need to lower it a little more so every couple years there's you know how reddit constantly has articles that seem like we're on the verge of curing cancer it's like oh this new breakthrough all the cancers are cured and i'm like okay i hear that every year though um

there's i hear that every year for male birth control i'm quite sure that one exists already that's either a pill or something else that if someone wanted they could take but boys go get a goddamn vasectomy and freeze some sperm it's cheap there's um there was a male birth control pill that worked, and they canceled it in FDA testing because it made males emotional and sad. Which, by the way, the female birth control does too. And a lot of people are like, this is bullshit. Why do women have to endure this and men don't? Why does a man even get the option to choose which partner is sad and unhappy and and taking depression pills but doesn't make sense because like look let's let's

throw away all the like political correctness and just admit that girls are the ones who are getting pregnant so maybe they consider and they bear the burden of that pregnancy as well so they might consider mood springs a more tolerable side effect whereas guys might consider it an intolerable side effect because look when it comes down to it their problem is at least financial i heard a really disturbing thing today that that there are places where if a woman wants to get her tubes tied at, say, 25, they will say no. They won't allow that to happen. And I saw an anecdotal case where she was like, why? And the doctor told her that someday her husband might want children.

She's like, my uterus belongs to a man I haven't even met yet. I saw that too. Now, the thing is. even met yet. I saw that. She goes. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man. Just W after W. Swish after swish. When Caitlyn Jenner won woman of the year on her first try as a boy

as a girl. We can't be stopped. Thousands of years of touchdown swish! I saw YouTube short today and it was like this big fat behemoth of a woman asking some other woman, you know, on a college campus

somewhere, you know how these things are framed. And she's like, do you think that women and men should even be separated in sports shouldn't they have the she's and she's like no i don't think they should be separated because it perpetuates this myth that women aren't as physically strong as men and then that immediately cuts to an 11 v1 women versus men's soccer match and they're playing that song can't be shook can't be stopped and he's just he's not just winning he's like tricking on all he's going and one skills just like behind his back behind their backs he's just like they're falling over and he's running through the end and when he scores

he doesn't just he kicks like a behind the back goal or something like he uses right foot but the ball's behind him like over over this shoulder when he kicks it in he shits on him it's great it's so funny and yeah i do see this oh sorry uh viewers i'm leaving for one minute this actually isn't it but i will watch this this. This has to be good, too. I bet it's the same clip of a guy dominating the women. He's scoring at will here. He is. So you can see where the advantage is.

His acceleration and his limb length are both huge advantages. When they're in like a, I don't know what you call it. I'm going to call it a juggle. When they're in a juggle situation. When it's a 1v1 juggle off. All you football fans, you know what I'm talking about here. When you're juggling. This is where you come for your soccer analysis. Right here.

When you're in a juggle off against your opponent, who may or may not be a left wing or right wing, he's able to accelerate he's able to like beat them and then he has this like extra gear to accelerate away from them once he does beat them so it's not like once he's beaten them it's over he's gone to the next other aspect to it that i think is important he is a brick wall dribbling this thing if you guys didn't see the clip but he is a strong man if he shoulder bumps these women not even a check on purpose right if they bump into them him it will be like bumping into a hippopotamus right it's gonna be a very lopsided affair so they have

to play in such a way that bodies don't hit and he doesn't he gets to do whatever he chooses to do i think that holds him back yeah he's uh you know it's not we're not gonna get into that whole thing i think it's just funny to watch those women get trounced by uh by a better player i'd feel the same way if he was like trounced in a bunch of little kids i love i love that shit i would like like any times like a bunch of people are getting shown up by one guy who's really good at it i sent you guys that clip the other day of that midget pickpocketing that woman and and and like this dude walks up bitch slaps the midget and then i guess the someone spoke up for the midget maybe his partner in crime a full-sized fellow and he headbutts that guy as his opening move and that guy is like

fucked and like crawling out of the place he gives an ass kick to the midget immediately the midget like skips and they both run away and the lady has no idea why this man is assaulting midgets and headbutting people and he turns around the hands of her wallet and it was so slick it was great he looked like boss is it staged uh no no it was like security footage and he slapped the shit out of a midget so that either that midget was really selling it or... You're judging my porn now. Speaking of people selling slaps, again, the YouTube shorts, my apologies. I saw Seth Rogen talking about the making of This Is The End.

And there's a scene where Michael Cera is supposed to slap Rihanna's ass. And he asks her, hey, can I slap your ass for real? And she's like, you can slap my ass for real if I can smack you for real. And he asked her, hey, can I slap your ass for real? And she's like, you can slap my ass for real if I can smack you for real. And he was like, sure. So they did three takes of this, and Seth Rogen's like, on the final take, she smacked the

shit out of him. And that is the take we used. And they play it, and she smacks the shit out of him. And he goes, oh! To be fair, he smacks the shit out of him. He goes, oh! To be fair, he smacks the shit out of her ass too. I feel like he felt like it was worth it. I would definitely trade.

I think. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, and you know it's going to play in the film. It's going to be a big laugh moment. I wonder if a butt is a bad place to get a tattoo. As far as pain? Yeah, pain, pain. I would think so, honestly.

Seems kind of sensitive back there. That's why we spank people, right? I'm on the other team with this. I could be wrong. I'm not sticking to it too hard. It's been my experience that, for example, let's say you go to smack a butt or something

and you get it wrong and you hit a lower back. That changes the whole thing it's like hey why are you hitting me you are hitting me that is not a spank anymore because it hurts more it's not the same you're talking about a bad miss if you're if you're into spanking someone listeners you need to know this maybe you're young and you haven't you know explored this part yet you hit the part they sit on. That's what your target is. You're aiming for

the thing that they sit on. And my theory is that Kyle says no, but it depends what the point of the spanking is. Are we trying to send a message? But if this is a jovial spanking, then you're aiming for the part that they sit on.

It's a little less sensitive. And I think just the nature of sitting on it for the last, you know, in some cases up to 13 years, they're desensitized. Yeah. Um, but,

uh, no, I agree with that. I think tattoos there might be okay. I think the ass cheek, because I know that like, uh, one thing in like BDSM,

when you're spanking someone, if you actually try and deliver a painful blow where you hit them is like right below the buttocks it's called the sit spot or seat spot it's the top of the thigh like right where the dad is very well i don't like that no one likes that that's why you hit people there it's interesting i believe you i trusted your experience but that's also a part you sit on which invalidates my thing like i'm looking at what i'm sitting on right now and i bet you could too dude it's all the way almost down to my knee oh the sitting on the ass does not desensitize

the ass i i don't know because the bottom of your feet are incredibly sensitive to to it's one of the ways that the v tortured our troops is they would hang them up and beat the soles of their feet with bamboo. It's a terrible torture. They're very sensitive. And we walk around on those bitches all day.

The heels, though. I'm with you. If you were to hit the instep, that'd be very sensitive. But are the heels where the callus grows on a big toe,

is that sensitive? No, that would not be sensitive. You could tattoo my heel while I was asleep. Have you ever done something really physical and some of that back heel, that worn callus? You carved that off like an old boat. It has, yeah. It's got rings that say how old you are

under the bottom of your foot. Someone could tattoo that in my sleep. I wouldn't wake up, under the bottom of your foot. Someone could tattoo that in my sleep. I wouldn't wake up, but the bottom of the foot got arched. I go to a farrier who replaces horseshoes and they just carve that off. I go to a farrier. I never got my toenails ever.

When I can't put my shoes on anymore, I have my wife drive me to a farm. Have you ever had a pedicure? Yeah. I did the other day. I'm going to keep doing it. It's real nice.

I hated it. Really? I don't like my toenails. They're ugly. I would be embarrassed. Why didn't you like it? I was bored, and I felt like I was obligated to stay until the end of this thing, which I guess socially you are. And I was like, can I just not be in this chair anymore?

Why did you sign up for it if you weren't into it? I thought it'd be cool. I don't know. Yeah, it's something new. Yeah, I was trying something new and it wasn't for me. So what made you get into it? You thought the process would be cool or the after effect? The process.

I was expecting like a foot massage type experience. And all the calluses. Your feet. Okay. I never had one before. So I thought it would be like a foot massage parallel type thing. They'd like take all my calluses off. They do trim your toenails.

But mine didn't need trimming. And I like my nails short. I don't bite them but i keep i keep a fingernail nail climber trimmer in my car um there's one right fucking here in my desk next to my bed in the i have them everywhere so anytime i want my oh and there's a file on my multi-tool which is in my pocket all the time i am probably four times a day just taking off the half a millimeter for my they're always i like them really trim and they're okay i think i know why you didn't enjoy the pedicure now yeah i didn't need my nails shortened they're already

at my favorite length you got there and they were like what we gonna do with this and in my head i'm like i'm here for the sort of foot massage callus maneuver like thing i thought they were gonna take like sand and you know like rub it or something like that wasn't really what i got no it's a haircut for your feet that's the best way to put it you know they're there to to trim things up to push cuticles back and round the nails off in a very artistic kind of way like when i cut mine, I just try to get rid of all of that white area and smooth things up.

They're like, oh no, we're going to make this look like a thing. They've got plans. Oh yeah, I gave them nothing. It's like I shaved my head and went for a haircut. That's exactly what happened. I thought I'd get a massage. What? There are people who do that as well.

That's where I should have went. Are you self-conscious at all about it, Kyle? Your feet? You have nice feet? Yeah, there's nothing gross about my feet. I have horrible feet. Those are like a 1930s Russian ballerina's feet. Just gnarled.

I've got an ingrown toenail right now. Oh, they would love my left you take that to them and they're like ah finally we just dealt with this motherfucker came in he must have filed him in the parking lot at least this guy's got a problem basically i just pinched him for 30 minutes charged him 80 bucks and sent him on his way but But you, sir, have a problem. I would not want them to mess with my ingrown toenail. I'll do that on my own.

That's what they do. With a knife in the bathroom and cutting it out. No, get your toenife out of here and get a professional Asian farrier to work on your toe. What if she was down there? What if she's been doing it for like five minutes? They have intricate tools. I don't know if you've ever seen all the little cuticle

shears and stuff. She's down there with the tools. You're on your phone. You're going to just ignore her. You look down and she's gnawing on your big toenail. She's like, don't flinch! I would not like that. I would give them a bad

review. I thought they were going to exfoliate the foot skin and stuff like it just wasn't what i thought it was a fish thing have you seen that i've seen it on youtube i've seen it on the internet yeah have you done that kyle where they put the fish in there and the fish eat your dead skin off your feet that's absurd i don't have so why is that absurd why i don't have so much dead skin on my feet that it could feed another animal it definitely could yeah like your don't have so much dead skin on my feet that it could feed another animal. It definitely could. Yeah, like your foot is just covered in dead skin because it's always having to regrow probably. Again, I have nice feet.

I use like a pumice stone and light. Like I have nice feet. There aren't any dead – the fish would be like, oh, I'll done here. But someone got to him before we could. I have a power tool to handle it. I just – Yeah. If I let it go too long handle it. I just... If I let it go too long, it smells like bird flesh.

Yeah. Woody and I go in there, they're going to have some overweight fish after. No, I'm saying I'm on top of my foot care. The toenails are short. The calluses are trimmed. I bet I'm a third of an inch taller

because of how much calluses are on the bottom of my feet. I want to talk about a little spoken of bit of personal hygiene, boys. Something that we never really discuss. I think that the average, not only man, but human being just... The last half an inch of your digestive tract?

No, Woody. Not assholes. You always go for your clean asshole. We're impressed, okay? I have a high honeydew diet. He's got a sludge out of there. He's bragged about the cleanliness of his butthole more than any man I've ever met.

Straight, gay, whatever. There are asshole models who don't talk about how clean their butthole are. It looks good. I'm going to get the bodies out of the lineup. Taylor could, yeah. I'm going to put the belly button. The belly button, okay?

I was in the $50 Discord playing some Tarkov with the boys and I brought this up to them. I was like, nobody's got a clean belly button. I mean, I do, but y'all don't. They were like, I clean my belly button in the shower kyle i get a washcloth give it a little whatsy-woos it clean belly button i'm like okay yeah that's how you clean your belly button i was like i you got i was like it's like almost a bottomless pit in there he's like no he's like

i have he's like i have a shallow belly button and i'm like dude i've i've been so low fat that that you could just open the thing up and turn it inside out motherfucker you do not have a shallow belly button there's folds of skin in there that you have to move aside see what i do is i get a mirror a light and some q-tips and after a warm bath you can get down in there and it is filthy if you don't do it regularly and so the guy i was talking to was like bullshit i'm gonna call you on this and so he got a mirror and a light and there's a q-tip and he starts like and he goes oh oh my god no what is that he had hard like seeds of stuff inside his belly that was dirt denim and hair. And it like mats together into these rice-like

kernels deep in the folds of your belly button. And every bath and shower you take, it gets a little moister and more stuff sticks to it. And then it dries out. And that process is repeated daily until you get in there with a goddamn Q-tip. You're making me

worried. Oh, you guys, if you've never get in there with a goddamn Q-tip. You're making me worried. Oh, you guys, if you've never gone in there and gone fishing, it's filthy. I just used my finger with soap on it. I just went fishing and didn't find anything. But this is not the exploration that Kyle's talking about. He needs a post-bath all wet and loosened up. Yeah, you want to get in there. With a Q-tip, by the way. He didn't say finger.

Yeah, you're going to need a mirror. You're either going to need to be like low-fat content or a mirror if you want to get with a q-tip by the way he didn't say finger yeah you're gonna need a mirror you're either gonna need to be like low fat content or a mirror if you need to my i can kind of high fat content you can kind of aim it but no if you're gonna fuck a belly button you should you should check your ladies out before you get in there and make sure. What are you making that face? Belly button is a real. Oh, yeah.

We've discussed this before. Larry. That was a big woman. Yeah, it was a big fatty. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. A big fat woman. Now, if you think the average man has a filthy belly button, imagine a big fat woman.

Imagine a fat person who has a canal of a belly button imagine a big fat woman imagine a fat person who has a canal of a belly button the twists and turns that that cavernous yes belly button right where they get like that level of orifices where like where the they wear the hands over the fat for so long that like they get a second bottom torso yep second bottom torso you know they got a caboose like yeah like i got an extra like train on the car um anyway guys i strongly recommend all of you out there listening who who care check out your belly buttons they're filthy you're not if you've never given her a deep clean you just have no idea and if you're like me the idea of something really gross being in there is going to irk you out

you're going to want to look and when you look you're going to see it and you're going to be you're going to say thank you kyle thank you now you're going to see it. You're going to say, thank you, Kyle. Thank you. Now, I don't have a filthy belly button. I'll clean my belly button tomorrow after I shower and I'll send photos if it's gross. I would like you guys to pick out the kernels of stuff you find in your belly button. Put them on a white sheet of paper.

I'd like to see an image of that. If I get anything, I'm going to be too embarrassed. Put a nickel next to it. I'd like a reference for size. I have a news story. What do you got? I'll share it with you. So, of course, it happened in Florida.

A woman with an open bottles of Jack Daniels whiskey in a bag was arrested for driving a golf cart on Florida's busiest interstate while drunk. The 58 old woman was arrested on Saturday night driving on I-95 for disorderly intoxication in a public place and resisting an officer without violence. Apparently, some truck driver on a semi was an absolute fucking

snitch and made the golf cart pull over and now she's in trouble with the police. Nonviolent resisting arrest. What is that even? Are you guys pro or con on drunk golf cart riding? Well,

it says she was in the middle lane on the highway. So she was causing traffic problems, which is rude. Yeah. Behind her, we're laughing. the center lane of i-95 it does say that brevard county which you would assume um i've been i i knew it was i-95 before you said it and i was thinking like yeah they should throw her under the jail for for slowing that traffic down but there's a place right right down the

road called peach tree city in in the suburbs of Atlanta where it's legal to drive your golf cart everywhere. It's what people do instead of cars. The high school has golf cart parking. They're lined up out there. And I don't mean like six or seven, like dozens of them. Dozens of students. Where my parents live, they have that. Imagine how cool that

would be. Yeah, pile in the golf cart. That would be sick. Alright, alright. So she's in the middle of I-95. Maybe that's too far. But I do like the idea That would be sick. All right. So she's in the middle of I-95. Maybe that's too far. But I do like the idea of drunk people taking golf carts and lawnmowers and bicycles where they need to go to keep their really dangerous vehicles off the road. Oh, okay. Lawnmowers?

Yes. Yeah. Riding lawnmowers? Absolutely. That should be a drunk person's cart. Where do they go? Six miles an hour? Six miles an hour? Five miles an hour? Right?

Now we're causing traffic problems again. What do they got a Dixie Chopper? What do they got a Dixie Chopper, though? Yeah, now they're going like 11. What's your problem? That's a lot of steel moving down the highway. We need a dedicated alternative vehicle lane. And it can be like Wacky Racers. Anything goes in that lane. All the cyclists are pissed off

with the Dixie Choppers. I'm riding with Dick Dastardly in my fucking car. I know someone, I was a teenager when it happened, but they got a DUI for drinking and bicycling. And I was like, that's horse shit.

Yeah, it is horse shit. You're on the bicycle to avoid drinking and bicycling. And I was like, that's horse shit. Yeah, it is horse shit. You're on the bicycle to avoid drinking and driving. And who are you really endangering other than yourself? No one. You should be allowed to endanger yourself. That's my right as a paramotorist. Yeah. If that guy wanted to get drunk and ride it down a dangerous trail, they'd let him do that.

Yes. Yeah. That's why I think you should be able to speed on a motorcycle. I'm risking my life and your property, maybe. Yeah. I think the faster your vehicle goes in the furtherance of avoiding traffic, you should be able to go faster. Bikes are annoying for car drivers sometimes. So I would prefer if they were just fucking flying

because it'd be like oh another bite and he's gone like he's your problem for half a second and then he's talking about yeah yeah i that's why so when i'm on the um the car side of that equation if they have a really loud pipe it scares me and i'm motorcycle friendly right but it's like oh jesus like that and i found that to be an uncomfortable experience yeah but if they have a quiet pipe i don't really even notice until they're gone there's a god well there they were and it's fine so it has been terrifying to me before i'll never forget when i was like 19 driving back out to atlanta at two three in the morning middle of the night and being so tired just trying to get to my apartment to go to sleep for work in the morning.

And a bike passed me, and it was like back to the future. And I went in the car, and it was just like, what just happened? It was like in Star Trek when they go into warp. And there's just that, like, the light is stretched out behind where he used to be. So was it the thing that startled you i think i'm picking up startling uh that i never knew he was coming until he was long gone like i was out of the equation he had factored me out yeah the way noise works like you don't get

that much notice of it that's why loud pipes don't save lives shut up people with your loud pipes save lives things no they don't loud pipes annoy people i think is that what they say i they do so they do say that um i think that in certain scenarios where we're like in town like no if you've got your music on and we're like four lanes wide at like in like downtown atlanta or whatever there's red lights and everywhere in traffic and there's assholes on their electric scooter sipping everywhere then it's just nice to hear him over there go love love love love love love like all right you're there all right okay i won't turn right from the middle lane and kill you i know you're there i'm told that um the statistics say loud pipes don't save lives interest but uh you know watching a motorcycle podcast i don't know how good my source is. Yeah, and I don't know how they, like,

are able to count how many times somebody was like, oh, I hear a motorcycle, I'll be more careful. You know what I mean? It's because they're making it up because they like motorcycles. Right? Actually, this thing that we really enjoy is safe. No, no, no.

What they're saying is loud pipes don't save lives. This is what the podcast says so you would think they'd be inclined to be like oh this noisemaker we have is safe but instead they're like dude stop fucking up your bikes you're just annoying people they're almost taking the car side i wonder if like in the biking community that gets them a lot of hate from their listeners where they're like fuck you Corey wow look at you you four wheeled fuck like they just hate you

they call them cagers dude that sounds like a way cooler team to be on team cager all day head to head matchup cager vs bikes team cager wins that 10 out of 10 you have to stay in the vehicle.

There's some tough guys that ride bikes. My bike's not loud, but there's been plenty of times where I'm in a scenario like I'm talking about where I'm just like, does he know I'm fucking here? Do you know I'm here? And I'm like, I don't think he knows I'm here. And it was like, just so you know, I'm over here.

Everybody should know. But I don't want to be like the faggot episode from South Park where it's like... That's the last thing on my mind. But what I am thinking is like this thing weighs like 500 fucking pounds and it would

fit in a closet. Maybe that truck doesn't know I'm here. That's a good way to look at it. That's the safe way. Have you been riding much lately, Kyle? A little bit around here. There's a construction kind of near me, so that's been annoying, but on off days... I'm not judging.

I haven't been riding at all. Well, of course not. You have a good excuse. But no, I've been riding a friend's bike some i like it um and is it harley yeah does it have the the new motor the revolution yeah i think so i think it's the one that we've like shared that link a few times um i like that that bike do you like it i think i like mine more but i just like the style of mine more but um it's got more bells and whistles for sure.

It's like a $14,000 or $15,000 bike. So yeah, just a little bit, but not a ton. We were talking about before the show that fucking air conditioner I bought has been delayed again. It's doing that thing that Amazon does. If it's delayed for 10 more days, you could cancel.

I'm like, oh my God, is that what we're really talking about now? Because it's been like a month. It was supposed to show up today, maybe tomorrow. I've been trying to install the stupid mini-slipper in my garage for a while. It's your garage gym, to tell the rest of the story. My garage gym!

Yes! Which I'm looking forward to continuing. Also, another thing, I'm also on the hunt for... I got a couple of things that I'm considering getting. So I really want a new gaming PC because GPE prices are going down, which means now you can get a gaming PC for only $4,000.

Whoa, four grand? Like nothing, right? It's like a turkey sandwich. And it'll be here in two weeks. Look, if they were like four grand, it'll be there tomorrow. That's the kind of impulse purchase I can bite, all right? You tell me two weeks from now I'll get my $4,000 purchase. I'd rather sit here for four weeks and think about it some more.

It's not going to happen. Would it be for Tarkov? Yeah, I really want smooth frames. I want to know what that game looks like because I played offline on one of the smaller maps and I was like, how many frames am I getting? 200. I'm getting 200 frames on labs offline.

And I'm like, oh my God, this is what it looks like to have maximum frames because everything is so smooth all of a sudden. And I just started thinking, man, if every map was like this, to have maximum frames because everything is so smooth all of a sudden and and and like i i just started thinking man if if every map was like this that would be so tremendous it'd be a different game maybe it'd be a way more fun experience and not just for tarka but for every game that my system can only hack out 90 frames or something because i uh my monitor is 1440p so it's you know it's a little more taxing on every game um that and um what was

the other thing that i want oh that fucking projector uh i so we really like ours you might i'm at a stage now where i'm like you might just copy our buying decision yeah um because like what i looked at the other day um was an 80 1080p projector that you just like sit back on the top of the uh the the the bed and i was like oh my god like first of all this isn't passable like we're not i'm not happy with this but for 80 i'm so blown away at what 80 can deliver that uh i i'm i'm like wow what is what is a $3,000 system or $4,000 or whatever? What are we looking at here? What's the damage on this bad boy? Two grand.

Two grand. Okay. Yeah, dude. I was like, I think I paid $2,500. I'm looking at it on Camel, Camel, Camel. I did. If I use my Amazon card, I save $167. Are you familiar with Camel, Camel. There you go.

Can you open this link? This is for our viewers. This isn't paid or anything. But if you don't know Camel, Camel, Camel, they show historical product pricing for stuff. And I was like, man, I could have sworn I paid $2,500. Would you please scroll down and show the chart, Zach? So I must have bought, Zach, can you hover around 2,500? Like right there in that sort of flat not long ago.

I think, yeah, yeah, there. And it just dropped to two grand kind of recently. So, oh well. But I use this all the time. Maybe, maybe. It looks like it's been treading down for a little while now. But I use this all the time. Every time I see something on Amazon that's like 40% off'm like yeah was it ever that other price so i come here and i look and it tells me

whether it's a genuine sale or not this is a great site i've never heard of this yeah thank you for that because because this is what i'm i usually end up on something like like coop with garage gym reviews he has his own site that might be the best on the internet at like scoping out like okay you want a treadmill well we bought the the six best in the world and we beat the shit out of them here's what we found out it's like oh my god thank you so much but this seems uh this seems really good i'm not gonna save money with this it's got a whole section of the best deals i don't need any of these things but the deals are so good i haven't looked at it for i only use it the way that i showed you guys where

basically i i like distrust a sale that's the principal time i use it so i'm like ah what is the actual historical price on this thing sometimes the sales real and you can go yeah you can go to um like like recent drops like top amazon price drops oh yeah thank you for this website top price drops huh yeah i'm gonna buy some stuff and you're like making money i i uh i'm i might get that projector so like you i think you have said okay i'm like this is a backpack. What is it called? Gregory Mountain Products Women's. Fuck. Ooh, from the Ass Pirate Collection.

But I found a women's backpack that looks really cool. Anyway, I interrupted. Oh, it's the Femboy Fairy Satchel. Brand new for 2022. It comes in amethyst and pink pussy boy. Those are the colors. Dude, that is a real pretty backpack, Woody. You shouldn't be embarrassed to wear it.

Let's see all the colors over there. It's not even that gay. I wouldn't know that it was a woman's backpack at all. Look, when I look at that, I think, that woman's not gay. I mean, if anything, she probably likes to sleep with other women. Yeah, she's not gay. Nothing gay about this. She's got her camelback somehow integrated.

It's nice. It's a solid backpack. But why is it a woman's backpack? It's a good feature. I wonder if women have different backpacks. Oh, there's a tampon holder. Look at that, Woody. You can put pin flares in there.

Oh, man. No, I wouldn't be worried about that at all. I'm trying to think if there's a girl's holster that I ever would have been like, oh, no. Oh, is that a girl's holster that I ever would have been like, oh, no. Oh, is that a girl's holster?

I never would have given a shit. I don't think I don't think I would have brought the. No, I had pink holsters. What am I thinking? Remembering now, like I had a whole get up with like matching pink holsters that I wore. I don't. Yeah, I wouldn't give a shit because with stuff like that, like. I don't know.

It's not fucking high school anymore. I don't care what you think about my backpack, I guess. I can't tell if it's a good idea to have a gendered backpack or if it's pointlessly gendered. I looked at sleeping bags, and I wasn't drawn to them in this rare instance. I was just like, why are there women sleeping bags? Do they need a different warmth tube than dudes do? And the salesman kind of laid it out there. I can't remember it verbatim, but basically like, yeah,

the women are a little wider here and they tend to get colder in their feet than guys do. So they stay warmer there. And I would want one that had some sort of scent blocking thing. So the, so the cougars and lions couldn't smell the period blood. I was thinking. Good point. Yeah. You're right. I was thinking of farts. Good point. Yeah. You're right.

A cougar protective bag. You seal the women in. You zip her right up. You're going to lock that freshness in. I want a sleeping bag made by Saran Wrap. But don't worry. There's a window where you can see her face. Yeah, you lock that freshness in.

I mean, most of those gendered products that don't actually have a difference, it's just because of a preference on some female consumers to have a pink item. Oh, I have a thing for you, Taylor, because you might be a subject matter expert. You've heard of the pink tax, I'm sure, right? Where women like pointlessly pay more for certain products. Some of the examples they mention are total bullshit, though. a really good one for me is haircuts right cutting my hair versus cutting a typical woman especially my age where there's like dye and stuff involved um dude of course your haircut costs six times as much you've got a way more complicated hairstyle you don't accept just whatever the fuck you get and walk out with a tip you know like i do uh and there's dye involved and all

sorts of complications and layers and what have you so that is not a suitable argument for the pink tax you're getting a different product yeah but sometimes maybe it's not the same product or it is the same product and i thought maybe you'd know something uh i mean there's so many products like some of them actually a lot of them are actually different like uh the the razor one i remember that was used as an example where the back in the day they were like well the men's razor is this and the women's razor is this and they both have three blades and that ended up being like a bullshit thing where it's like no the woman's razor because it's going over more contours and curves like it has extra of like the the pad of softness and it has more of a movement

angle than the men's because the men's just is it's for your fucking face generally it's much more straightforward so there's examples like that and but there's also like examples where it's like yeah this is more because this company realized that they that there was a market for a pink version of this that there was an exact copy of the male sleeping bag, but the female sleeping bag, and it's pink, because we discerned from market testing that women like pink. Now it's more expensive because our line was running all these, and now the only additional thing is we have to take extra time off the line

to run these specific female ones, and because that's taken away from our core business, we're going to charge a surplus there, whatever it is. And they know people will pay it. So that's how a lot of it is. It's just, well, why is this pink tissue box more expensive than the regular puffs? It's like, well, you don't have to buy it. It's the same shit. It's an aesthetic choice you're

making for a lot of those user apparent goods you have in your house. Why wasn't that obvious to me? There's a really clear answer. just buy the boy one yeah yeah and like that's the example you would say you'd go oh well if it's the same thing buy the boy one well i can't buy the men's razors because yes because they're not the same because it is like the women's razors are a little better and maybe that's changed i just remembering this

example from a while ago but yeah if it bothers you just i would say the vast majority of the pink tax stuff is just an over is a difference in quantity like total numbers of items as far as uh uh any kind of toiletries goes like for a man most guys are deodorant toothbrush toothpaste maybe some cologne you know shampoo like whereas women have entire regimens, multiple face creams. Each one's two ounces, and each one's $30, stuff like that. Do you guys wear cologne? Yeah. What kind of cologne? Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue. How much is a bottle of it? No idea. My grandma bought me a bottle in 2010, and that lasted until last year. And then my

wife got me some more can you say it's lower dolce and gabbana light blue it smells really good you it's a very very use it every day or when you want to sound good if I'm like going out to dinner with my wife somewhere like I'll put that on but no not every day not by a long shot hmm I've got yeah that's what I have i've got this transgender uh cologne i wear really does that mean yeah yeah it means it's for men and women it's just a general smell good liquid for for all yeah yeah yeah it's called uh i had to look it up i think it's called uh killian angels share think. Something like that.

Or at least that's what the bottle looks like. Or maybe it might be. Let's see. What's this one? Did you guys get a shipment of cologne to your house recently? Yes. Intelligent or something, maybe? Does that sound right? I have no idea why that showed up. Not only did I not get that,

probably based on the fact that I've moved. Well, I'll leave it at that. I didn't get that probably based on the fact that i've moved yeah well i'll leave it at that that's i didn't get that not only you know what hold i uh i had something i wanted so if you guys saw in our our group chat um i sent that meme about dph diphenhydramine the the people get fucked up on yeah yeah robo tripping no no robo tripping is different so i learned that from the benadryl one so the dph is the benadryl one dxm is robo trip and i don't know the relationship between those two societies of of upstanding individuals but i was on the dph one which is people diphenhydrine people who abuse benadryl and we've said before that if you go on youtube and you look up dph trip story

it is nothing but people like telling you don't do this it is a nightmare it's a waking nightmare it is horrible i do not recommend this drug to people and somehow they they get addicted to it and they do it all the time. It destroys your brain. What it does to your liver and your kidneys makes alcohol look like a health potion, apparently. It's that fucking devastating to your body and your brain. You become demented. You get

psychotic. You get demented. You adapt dementia over time and you get fucking brain worms and you fall apart. Don't you see spiders and stuff? You spiders so i found a story on there and so what they say is that 700 milligrams of benadryl is like a threshold of like you might you know you're almost in hat man territory where you might be a shadowy man who wears a hat they all consistently say the same fantasy or the same visions about this hat man. And this guy, this is a story. This guy took 4,000 milligrams, 4 grams of Benadryl.

And he's telling this story. And so I'm going to read this. He says, Stats, age 28. This is from a couple years ago. Stats, age 28. Name, Stephen. Occupation, Terra Steel factory and recycle.

145 pounds, 5'10". Education, high school diploma favorite movie cars too i'm 28 i work at a steel mill and i have no college degree you'll have to take my word for this because i don't post any personal information of myself you just did uh anyway here's what you came for how the trip went 11 a.m ish took. Took 80 pink caps. Throat got tired of swallowing so many. So I almost puked. 1130 a.m. Extreme fatigue set in. Believe me when I say it was physically difficult to move. Not the oh, ha ha. I'm high. So couch locked. He he. But literal near paralysis.

I could not walk. I put paste all over my mouth and throat. So dry mouth was intense, but no excruciating. That doesn't make sense. Okay, so he prepared for the dry mouth that was to come with some sort of paste. Yeah, some kind of paste. Thank you. At noon. At this point, everything went to shit.

I was completely paralyzed, so I just gave up on trying to move. Everything was dreamlike, jumpy and flickery. On LSD, everything is relaxed and flowing on dph everything is skittery like a low fps video game my bedroom door swung open and suddenly a black figure dashes in it teleports in front of me and stares at me even though it's a silhouette with no eyes or face i can feel a stare there's no spiders but thousands of black beads begin spinning around my wall i can see a man in the hat, fully shadowed about 12 feet away. Six minutes in, I'm not sure if this is reality or if I'm dreaming.

I can't even check to see if my eyes are open or if they're closed. Can't move, just silently scream in horror as the entire room begins spinning 900 miles an hour with shadow people dancing about me. 1225? The spinning of the room keeps getting faster and faster until I can feel myself vomiting, but the pain and sensation feels oddly distant. I can't describe it. It feels like someone else is vomiting through my body.

It is horrific nonetheless. A shadow person then begins to choke me, and I feel like I'm being strangled through a good hour before everything goes black. Everything begins to fade to white. I realize I can move and walk around and that I'm not high anymore. Looking back, this was obviously a lucid dream

while I was comatose. I can't really compare it to anything. Look up the SpongeBob episode SB29 when he's in a big white room and there's nothing that exists for the quickest comparison. I was in a completely white space and the whole time it was just ambient random noises

like whizzes, buzzes, growls, screams, voices, whispering, lion roars, jet engines, streaking lights. The sensations felt like sandpaper was being rubbed on me and I felt

freezing. I can't put into words, but I felt like this was the longest part of the trip. My sense of time was so distorted. I believe I was in the white space longer than I've been alive. What was less than one day legitimately, holy, completely fucking felt

like six years minimum. I have six to ten years worth of auditory and visual memories from that day. Six to ten years of my life were forgotten and replaced with those random auditory noises, streaks, and sounds. Between 1240 and 5pm,

I don't know when the white space ended, but now I'm in the middle of the road. It's reality, not some surreal dream. I see a shadow man about 300 feet away, so I start running. I chase and chase, but he never gets closer. Eventually, I stop out of tiredness, and suddenly the sky opens up, and a gigantic

black mouth swallows me whole. What happened next is I'm on Reddit. Looking at Reddit, no joke. I can see my own body. Or no joke i can't i can't see i can see my own body or no i can't see my own body i just see a giant page that displays reddit i scroll through all the pages and all the titles and comments make no sense like trump reveals the reveals the reveals the truth about reveals the reveal like eventually the screen fades and i can vomit again i can feel it but don't see it. Between 5 and 8, maybe?

Pure blackness and pain. All I can say. Every part of my body hurts more than it ever has. The phrase splitting headache can't describe it. It feels like there's a hot coal in my ears. I still can't move. I'm knocked out. The hallucinations are just streaks and flickers now.

8 to 12 p.m. the next day. Lots of buzzing noises. Felt like I was covered by a swarm of bees that were constantly vibrating. Some point during this stage, I woke up in a puddle of sweat and pink vomit. I tried to get up, but everything exploded into beads and swirls, and I felt a stabbing pain in my back. After about one hour of chilling, I managed to find my phone and call 911 saying I OD'd. 2 a.m. At the hospital, they pumped my stomach

and Narcan'd me even though I don't do heroin. Woke up later, not too big an ordeal, but I managed to spin it off as an accident and avoided the mental hospital. I go for dialysis weekly now.

Aftermath, I quit my job for this trip and I'm still unemployed. No insurance, but I got Obamacare, which covered part of it. I am on dialysis and have

permanent liver damage permanent brain damage and cognitive reduction reduced brain size irregular heartbeat for the rest of his life because he took 4 000 milligrams of benadryl for not even a good high i can't that's that all right no not just for not even a good high for the most terrifying experience that that i can imagine that sounded that sounded so horrific and the fact that he has to deal with i thought it was gonna have a happy ending like no i thought he's gonna be like i thought he was gonna be like and never again and that's why kids now i'll never do that again but it's like now he's retarded yeah now that sucks i mean he probably should do it again maybe it'll like send him back the other way he's more likely to do it now yeah it's like eating your way to the other side like uh john

bennett used to say he should have done 5 000 milligrams that's the correct 4 000 problem is you didn't commit if you're gonna do benadryl do it yeah do it do a solid 10 grams i've like every so often now i just get a thought and i go to the dph subreddit and i try and figure out what's driving these people and you can't get an answer they'll be like what made you like people will ask like what made you do this in the first place and they'll be like don't don't even consider it and it's like but and apparently like from realistic from what i can tell it's mostly like super young kids like teenagers who want to get fucked up on something and don't realize how much damage they're doing with these so the problem is pots illegal they just legalize weed guys jesus and a big and a bigger problem is we make every drug out to be equally awful for us.

No one stops and says, look, marijuana will make you lazy and you might eat too many Doritos and miss class. It could ruin years of your life even. But instead of saying that, they're like, it's the

devil! So is robo-tripping and heroin and prostitution. Don't sell yourself to old men. It's all the devil. So is robo tripping and heroin and prostitution. Don't sell yourself to old men. It's all the same. Dude, like do all the drugs you want, but please never robo trip. You'll see the hat man. It'll ruin your body. You know what dialysis is?

You won't like it. So do not, don't accidentally take a hundred Benadryl. No one accidentally. Don't accidentally buy five bottles of Benadryl. Don't accidentally buy five bottles of Benadryl and eat all of them. He said it was 80 caps. 80 caps of 4,000 milligrams.

He was tired of swallowing. I mean, it sounds like he would be a great tester for lock and load. He could take any amount of pills. As a swallow master, master yeah that makes sense two years ago this guy could be could be dead if he

tangoed with the Benadryl devil again I just the memes in this subreddit like usually memes about things you don't understand at all aren't that funny because you don't understand the reference point but like the way they do like the virgin and the Chad where it'll be like the virgin LSD user like soy facing, like seeing pleasant things.

And then the Chad delirium user seeing horrifying static hat men and images and spy. Like it seems like the like and something I started like it's called a delirium. Like that's the class of drug it's in a delirium hallucinogen. And so apparently I've never done LSD, but the, the way it was explained online is they're like, so LSD, it works you into it. You kind of see,

you feel a gradualness of the increase on the up and there's an ability for you to ascertain. Like, I know that's not real. Like, I know I'm seeing this, but I know this isn't fully real. At least most of the time,

apparently. Whereas with, uh, delirium, like dip I'm seeing this, but I know this isn't fully real, at least most of the time, apparently. Whereas with delirians like diphenhydramine, they say that the hallucinations are unbelievably fast, sudden, and concrete. So you won't be able to tell if that thing that just appeared is real or not. Because in addition to you hallucinating, you're delirious. You're not registering things. Like, you're not understanding. These people, they'll say they will smoke phantom cigarettes they'll be smoking a cigarette

they'll be like yeah i was smoking a cigarette for like 20 minutes look down nothing was in my hand i had a i was one guy said i played clash of clans on my phone for an hour and then i looked up looked back down my phone was not there it was upstairs like and so they're just totally reality they'll they're like and and you'll you'll hear voices of your loved ones but they're not being encouraging they're being horrible to you like ripping on you insulting you and after that you can look forward to seeing that it's it's no not no part are they like and then just like the end of a warhead the payoff like no and then the payoff is you can't remember how little fun you had because you have dementia like that that sounds the worst drug just allergies you sent those memes of like i don't know spiders

crawling on people and really i'm like uncomfortable to look at things. And I was just like, what the fuck is he sending me? It's like two in the morning. All these spiders crawling on people's hands and shit. It was like a starter pack for robo-tripping or whatever this is called. DPHing. What do they... Remember in

South Park when they were cheesing? They were spraying the cat piss and going to that other realm. Dude, that drug sounds so gross. Would you rather do this or Crocodile? You can do Crocodile once and be okay probably, right? Can you do this once and be okay?

It seems like if you do it big, you're fucked the first time. Don't do it big. Do like 700 and leave it at that. It's still so much well that guy did 4 000 yeah yeah and he's 145 pounds that that to me stuck right out at the beginning i was like oh you're probably right 145 pound man took four grams okay bro like like that made no sense to me to like do the super taylor are you reading that i wanted your

initial reaction oh let me take a look oh wait where all right oh the link the japanese city yes yes yes can you tell the audience about the city alarmed by biting clawing attacking monkeys and the photo is a monkey is sinisterly sitting outside of a window waiting for the poor Japanese people to go. Read their attack style and the defense strategy. When you get... I guess read it all. I thought it was fun.

People in a southwestern Japanese city have come under attack from monkeys that are trying to snatch babies, biting and clawing at flesh, and sneaking into nursery schools. The attacks on 58 people since July 8th

are getting so bad, Yamaguchi City Hall hired a special unit to hunt the animals with tranquilizer guns. The monkeys are not interested. They're stealing babies and sneaking into nurseries. The fuck? I mean, at some point, Japan's got to get their fucking shit together. There are monkeys. Put a guard up.

All right. Anyway. The monkeys aren't interested in food, so traps haven't worked. They have targeted mostly children and the elderly. They are so smart, they tend to sneak up behind and attack you, often grabbing at your legs, city official Masato Saito said Wednesday. When confronted by a monkey, the instructions are, do not look them in the eye.

Make yourself look as big as possible, such by spreading open your coat. Then back away as quietly as possible without making sudden moves. Oh no. One male monkey measuring 1.6 feet in height and weighing 15 pounds was caught Tuesday by the team with a tranquilizer gun. It was judged by various evidence to be one of the attacking monkeys and put to death. God, I hope they walked him up like a tiny gallows and hung him. No, they gave him up like a tiny gallows and hung him. No, they gave the monkey a little knife, and they're like, You can end this on your own.

And then the monkey just asses himself. Although Japan is in... I'm sorry. But more attacks were reported after the capture. No one has been seriously injured so far, but all have been advised to get hospital treatment. Ambulances were called in some cases. Although Japan is industrialized and urban, a fair portion of land in the

archipelago is mountains and forests. Rare attacks on people by a bear, boars, or other wildlife have occurred, but generally not by monkeys. No one seems to know why these attacks have occurred. I would like to offer my services to the people of Japan if you'll have me. Yeah, I'd like to help too. Free Japan trip.

I will pay my own way. If you've ever seen Tremors 2, I'm looking for a scenario like that. Okay? Remember how the Mexican government hooked Bird up with all that cool shit? Let him go out there to fight the Graboids. I want a similar scenario

but for monkeys. Now, this is going to be easy to fight these monkeys we're going to 12 gauge shotgun and we're just going to blast monkeys all day I would love to spend the rest of the year in Japan shooting monkeys with a shotgun I'll pay my own way yeah and I mean in Japan

just let me in and give me a gun maybe one of those things similar to that Shinzo Abo like electric cans I. Maybe one of those things that is similar to that Shinzo Abo electric can. I could use one of those. Yeah, like a pulse rifle. Ooh. Didn't he kill him with a pulse rifle? Well, first of all, there's no fucking such thing

as a pulse rifle. The G32 from the fucking color saturated in Modern Warfare? I want to talk about your seeming belief in pulse rifles. What is the gun with the three shot burst?

G11. That's a gun. I don't know. Some people call it a pulse rifle. No one calls it that. Taylor and I do. It's not even a real term. When they say we need to it a pulse rifle. No one calls it that. No, no, Taylor and I do. First of all, the G11 is... It's not even a real term. So when they say that we need to have a pulse rifle ban,

that doesn't even mean anything. Anyhow, I'd like to fight those monkeys and if you'd allow me to come fight them. And I'm talking to the people of Japan in general. I'm sure that they could get together and get me over there to fight their monkeys. Doesn't it shoot special bullets, the G11, where they electrify the ones

at the tip? Yeah. So the way a G11 works is you have these rods of ammunition that go in the end, and you basically have projectile fuel projectile fuel stacked in a long cylinder, and using electrical impulses,

you ignite the fuel in the correct order that you have this incredible rate of fire because of bullets. Nothing is cycling. There's no moving parts. It's you're just basically lighting off these things and sending them like a bunch of firecrackers in a tube and they can quickly light the front one, the second one, the third,

the fourth. That's my understanding of how it worked. Um, but I also heard that the ammunition, the cylinders of ammunition, if you will, were very fragile. So it'd break apart. Because you've got a bullet and then powder,

a bullet and then powder. And after it fires, there doesn't need to be anything left in the barrel of this gun. So it all has to go away. But it has to be made out of something sturdy enough to presumably shove down the gun in in a battle like a squib load is when it doesn't go off and just sort of stays in the barrel maybe that's not a term i grew up knowing but my understanding of it or like what i think of is like a bullet is stuck in the

in the barrel or something like that an under uh charged round but it's not a term that i grew up knowing have you've heard that term before? I've heard it before. It sounds like what you're describing with the G11 is it's prone to what I think a squib load is where it just doesn't get all the way out. I don't know if it's a real gun that went into long-term production and was tested or anything. It seems like more of a prototype

type thing. But that wouldn't count as a pulse rifle? No, it wouldn't count as a fucking pulse rifle! A pulse rifle is an energy weapon. I did look it up to see if it was real and I got excited to click a link but it was from the Alien vs. Predator wiki. Of course it is.

Of course not. No. Of course not. Look up the smart gun from Alien. They made that out of like a... They should convince the Democrats to ban pulse rifles and focus all their energy on imaginary guns. Are you aware of the M11 Cyberdyne Systems?

Cyberdyne Systems. T800. Now what this is, folks, is an autonomous human killing machine, okay? It's made to look like a man, but it's clearly a robot. We've applied the texture of an Arnold Schwarzenegger to it just for aesthetic

purposes. They're making these. Like ban Arnold Schwarzenegger style Terminators instead of assault weapons. Get them to follow that. It's a solid idea. We don't want to suggest that though because then as soon as pulse rifles are real, we're not going to get to enjoy them. We'll just name them something else.

Yeah, light beam. Well, we'll workshop name them well you know yeah light light beam well we'll workshop it did you use that term at work workshop it workshop yeah uh no it's one of those business terms that like you know like business bingo and meetings and stuff someone's like we're gonna circle back to this let's table that let's workshop that like things like that i'm always like oh business bingo like you said a business i say circle back in my regular life because it will have it will be on topic a and we'll get like halfway through it and then they'll come up with topic b and it's like oh i like where your head is we'll circle back to that yeah oh there's nothing

but anyway i like fuck those goddamn monkeys i don't whenever i see like Whenever I see an animal inconveniencing human beings in their territory. That's where AIDS came from, Kyle. Don't do that. Shoot the monkeys then. I hate whenever I see those uppity swans and geese in our parks. Like industrial parks and stuff

honking at people, biting them. If that ever happens to me, I swear to God, I've already mentally prepared for the fight, alright? I've played it out a hundred times in my mind. I would love to kill a swan. I wish a motherfucker would. Come at me, swan. I walk around lakes

like fucking, like a... I own the place! Right? I'll stomp your nest out. This is my territory. The water is Woody'sody's land oh waterfowl you know what ducks are polite i don't see a reason to lump them in when you're walking down the path ducks move ducks are a polite bird i have no qualm with ducks and they're tasty swans swans less so but geese are the principal bad ones i hear you i'm calling all of these

things innocent until proven guilty come at me you come at me and fuck around and find out geese yeah i mean geese now though he's never polite oh he's got the gippy leg he's gonna what do you i hear you i still think i'm i'm pro geese I've been so hungry for this. Here's the problem, though, Woody. If they ever get you down... What? They're going to dumb at me? With their beaks? Like, it'll be... They're just on Woody doing this.

Hawk! Grab him by the neck. Bam, bam, bam, bam. They're all over his face. Just pinching him. It's like that scene in... They don't even have teeth. They just pinch him like my grandmother did. There's a mean little thing. Remember in Hellraiser when they pull somebody apart? Woody's like that scene they don't even have teeth they just remember remember in hellraiser when they pull somebody apart what he's like

dude i feel like if you just got one's neck in your hand you wouldn't have to swing you could just crush it you could just crush it if you wanted it yeah just grip strength it to death i would love i would absolutely love if a swan if a swan stepped to me i love my chances love my chances i would bite the head off and you're making a statement any number of swans come at me it's my cardio that's going to be the limiting factor because if if i never got tired i i would never stop they would never get a good hit on me that was enough to slow me down ever yeah i have seen a swan scare an elephant on on youtube and i'm like what is wrong with you you're an elephant the swan your skin is so thick i can't hurt you let alone the swans you ever seen the elephant grab the uh i don't know if it's an emu or ostrich i think it was an ostrich though grab its fucking head and be like motherfucker you really fucking with me it's an emu or ostrich. I think it was an ostrich, though. Grab its fucking head and be like, Motherfucker, are you really fucking with me?

It's so good. I think it was an ostrich. It was something. He grabs it by the neck and is like, Are you really trying to fuck with me right now? I think it was an ostrich. I love the idea of an elephant not hurting him, just holding him still and eyeballing him. Zach might actually have it.

Oh, Taylor might have it. I did. You have to go to 10 seconds. eyeballing him zach might have a ghost here oh taylor might have it i did oh my god yeah you have to go to 10 seconds the whole beginning is just some guy's watermark yeah just that that little yeah the fucking ostrich's pick is like yeah yeah and he's just like motherfucker do you know what you're doing like what the fuck where do you get off? Do you notice any other animals bigger than me in the pen? No, you didn't.

And if we weren't in this pen, you wouldn't notice any either, because I'm an elephant. In my head, he held the ostrich up and eyeballed him. But even better, he just holds his head down. Yeah. What are you doing down there? What are you doing down there? And that was like a total move of self-control by the elephant to just not kill it.

It could have just squeezed harder, lifted it up easy. It could have done anything it wanted with that. The video did end kind of early. There was probably... This is the 14th ostrich that Nemu has killed today. He loves it.

We watched the full clip and he's just the meanest spirited elephant. Nemu has been spilling bird seed all over his enclosure to lure them in. He doesn't even eat them. He just loves killing them.

What is it? I forget. I'm going to mess up the details on this. Someone keeps getting puppies from the pound and bring them home but the wolves keep eating go ahead you take it over he asked the guy like what to do because he fucking coyotes keep eating his cats and the guy's like how many cats have they eaten he's like well i don't know it's hard to say every time one of my cats gets eaten by the coyotes,

I just go and buy another cat. And he says, well, it sounds to me like you're just feeding cats to coyotes. He's like, and then my daughter started crying. He totally was. If you go to the pet store, there's feeder fish that you can feed to your Oscars or your bigger fish. That's what he's doing. He's buying feeder kittens for the coyoteote so the coyotes were the real pets i've been looking at dogs to adopt a lot late lately and uh and i'm kind of going back and forth between breeds

i saw i started i literally cried last night looking at this fucking dog um i was on the uh like the cobb county fucking animal adoption thing. I'm looking all over Atlanta. I just Google Atlanta dog rescue and anything they've got I'm looking at. And so this fucking dog is like 10 pounds or something. And they write this little blurb about him. It's this cute little fucking thing. And they're like, I don't remember his real name, but let's call him Eli.

It's like, Eli needs somewhere to go. He is very scared where he is right now because it's very loud and he hates it and i and they were like but where he was before he was found abused with three other dogs matted and covered with fleas and i started crying you gotta get eli man well then there's like three more dogs that are all have like sad stories and every time i find one that i'm like oh shit nala is a cool ass dog she's like half bijan freeze or whatever they are and like and like half poodle it's like a three thousand dollar dog that somebody bought and never trained and i start reading and i'm like this is the dog

one train those dogs easy i start reading This dog has like eight mental disorders. And it's like she decides that you're her person and everyone else is an enemy. She is a rattlesnake. She will bite. Hold on. This is exactly the kind of bitch you like, right? She should already know she has BPD. You are her focus person,

Kyle. Yeah. So, I mean, it sounds like Eli doesn't have eight mental disorders and he's a sweet little pup. What was he? What kind of dog was he?

A little poodle? I don't know. He's 10 pounds. It was like this tiny little toy. I love little dogs. Get a little dog. I'm looking at little dogs, but I'm also looking at like 30 to 45 pound

like dogs like that that are like small German Shepherds and like I like dogs that look cool so some of these Huskies have like cool like Zorro markings that are neat and they have those blue eyes that are pretty cool I love Huskies I like the dogs that have the hetero

chrome whatever what's chromia two different color eyes I think that's neat um but again i'll like favorite these dogs as i scroll through about a thousand pups they will not let you this is all right so on dating sites they disallow the ability to like exclude black people for example like hey i'm not into black people i don't want to see them on my page you can't do that anymore. They did the same thing to this fucking dog

website. I'm like, I don't want to see a bulldog. I don't want to see one. I have no interest in one. And you can't do that. And then they mislabel them. Half the labs on there are fucking pit bulls. Obviously. I should start sending you guys screenshots because it'll say,

if it says terrier or lab and then not much else when you open it, it's a fucking pit bull. It's got a bloodstained muzzle. It's like, this is domino. He ate a baby. You know, I was,

I was seeing stuff about pit bulls and who knows how, how reliable this is. But I saw like, you know, Michael Vick, 2007 that't know. But I saw, like, you know, Michael Vick, 2007, that went down. So before that, the number of, like, pit bull attacks was much lower. But after that happened, a bunch of animal groups foolishly were like, we're going to redeem the image of the pit bull.

And, like, started a bunch of campaigns and stuff to be like, it's a friendly dog. And, like, you can see on the chart, chart like the number of maimings and attacks like has gone up significantly since 2007 since those campaigns so very interesting there you should not own these dogs i'll say this there are so so many of them um that don't have a place to go and i bet like they're all good dogs and if i if i if i wanted one dog i kind of want multiple i want multiple dogs but so so like dogs. If I wanted one dog, I kind of want multiple dogs. If I was going to have one dog and I was never going to have another person around,

I am a grown-ass man. I could control this thing. The same way I'm capable of controlling a gun. But you've got to treat it like a fucking gun because they're terrifying. I'm kind of with you on the gun thing in that you've got to treat it like a gun.

You can't leave it unattended around babies. No, rape them. Yeah, I saw that. The dog rape of the little boy. Wait, is that a real thing? Yeah, I told you about that. Nodded him. Drug him around the house by his butthole.

Almost killed him. You think that kid's ever going to be the same? No, I think that kid's ever going to be the same? No, I think that kid's developed a kink. That kid's in high school by now and he is fucking weird. Through no fault of his own, through a horrible distant mother.

He's in the 50 Discord, actually. He fit right into our fan base yeah he would i was traumatized too uh i i don't know man there's there's a ton of them on there for adoption i get real sad when i go in there and look but i'm gonna get a dog fairly soon nice i keep looking i've sent inquiries for a couple of them i saw this one um husky that was brown i've never seen a brown husky before but that looked cool uh and it's got like sad eyes that look like a cartoon character it looks like you drew sad eyes you know what i like a lot i like a dog that's post puppy right or yeah yeah i want an adult dog there is no such thing as a housebroken puppy right if that thing's six weeks old

it just poops when it has to like that's just what your deal is but if it's like 18 months or two years old it's either housebroken or right there yeah i'm not even opposed to a senior dog a dog that's like eight or twelve years old nah nah i mean look look woody's dogs the breed he has chosen live for like seven years i was looking at i'm gonna get the name wrong borzois the other day those things live seven to ten years too and that was those are the long boys i was all about borzoi oh i look well fuck googling borzoi and just just uh go to the long boys subreddit um and look at some of those fellas they're super cute yeah they're they're kind of cute i still i like the little dog's faces more

than the super long face. They got a good coat. They're cute. I like them. There's short-haired ones and long-haired ones. I think they look cool. I don't know what I want to do. This is B-O-Y-E-S? Long boys? I think so. The top post of all time is hilarious.

I'm giving it to the long boys how's won me over with one picture oh that's not even a traditional long boy that's like a uh that's a great dog i don't know what kind of dog this is uh this is like a one of those wire terriers or something, maybe. Maybe it's a whippet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was thinking of. That looks like an Italian greyhound. Scroll down a little bit, Zach.

There's a black one in a yellow sweater. Yeah, that looks just like an Italian greyhound. It's all G-rated. You can scroll down. My dad has one. Yeah, the true long boys are these fellows that are like yeah the borzoi is the one at the window um that's a borzoi that is a fashionable dog yeah he looks oh if you go all the way down to where it says it's not wrong to be long that's my motto all right all right now if you want the cutest shit ever right below that look

at the rubber nose dog and it it literally like it yeah thank you so good okay well that's that's adorable it sniffs you around the corner so now i want another dog yeah i kind of what i'll be honest i love the puppy face i want a dog that that when people see it, they're like, oh, that's a cool dog. I don't want an average dog. I want one that's got an interesting feature of some kind. Okay. I like where your head is. I want a dog that can have its own Instagram.

Yes. That's the tug bug. No, he doesn't want a pug or a bulldog. Yeah, my friend Dirty wants to get a pug and call it Tony, and he wants to call it Tony the Thug Pug, and he wants to put a gold chain on it, like a wrapper, and have it dress hip-hop style, I guess, and be Tony the Thug Pug, and essentially have a themed pet for some reason.

He's got Instagram famous. He's pretty convinced it'll be a big thing. I feel like it's one of those get Instagram famous question mark profit plans. That man can't keep a fish alive. He can't keep a fucking goldfish alive. And he's talking about getting a dog with breathing problems. Get out of here.

He's genocided his entire fish tank no less than four times. Four times. On accident. I think it's his girlfriend genociding it. Yeah yeah his girlfriend keeps killing all his fish and isn't she a marine biologist there's no way i know where they live she's more likely up i'm not going to be mean to the man's girl i think i think i'm right though i think that's she studies marine biology in school you know where they live you all keep studying i do know where they live like what the

fuck are they doing maybe they're gonna move i don't know what are you going to school for marine biology you're in akron ohio huh right the akron crab the unknown you know middle of the country crustacean yeah that i never even considered some a career path like that when you were actually like i don't know of the age to like start heading in a direction or pick a thing to do did any did anything like marine biology ever even occur to you no but i'm really stuck on that so this is this is a little bit of uh real life doxing here there's a person in my universe who he's athletic, he's young, and he wants to be a stuntman. But he doesn't live in Hollywood. And that's his aspiration. And I'm kind of like, no, you can't be.

In the same way that you can't be a rock star, you can't be a pro athlete, you can't be a stuntman. This is not a job that you're going to get. He actually has had jobs in Atlanta, a very small one. I was raised by Stanley P. Stanley P. said even business is an unacceptable major. You get one that really prepares

you for a job like accounting or engineering or medical school or something. Something generic like business. Like that's not even a, that's not a job preparation major. And the idea, maybe, I don't know. Well, we're sitting here making a living on YouTube, telling people that they can't chase their dreams. And that puts me like that.

That's a really weird situation for me. Like, I don't know what the right advice is. Go be, there are people out there who are stuntman, stuntman. Why not you? Maybe. Oh no. I, I see.

I think stunt man is one in particular that like, if you want to do that, you can do that because you need to look a certain way. I bet like there's not one guy who could be the stunt man for everyone. You know, there's not, I'm sure there's one guy out there who's just the fucking best.

And they're like, Oh yeah, I wish we could get Brad to do this. But obviouslyad doesn't look like a small girl or an old man he looks like thor god of thunder so he will be that guy's you know he'll do marvel stuff but there's there's a room for everybody if you're 130 pound like guy if you're an overweight woman like i'm sure there's stunt work for you i think that's i think that's like a long term career like yeah i think it's a way to get in the door to like more middling type roles and like look if you're on set and you're already like there to be on screen to do one thing and they're like ah we need somebody could you want to realign with you could easily get like a small

role somewhere and get the ball rolling with an acting career that seems maybe you're right way to start i was was imagining those guys getting treated like shit. Like being treated disposable almost. Like, yeah, you get up there and do the fucking dangerous thing. The only time I've heard of that is from specifically Steven Seagal being the biggest piece of shit to stop in ever. Because he'd hit him

for real. Because he thinks it looks better. So he'd just fucking womp you. His movies look terrible. No, they look pretty legit. The martial arts stuff, I mean, it is that bendy stuff, but when he's hitting people in the face, you're like, shit, did you just hit him?

Yes, I did. Like you said before, he owns his own company, so what, is someone going to fire him? He's just going to scumbag piece of shit. We were talking about something before the career thing. Oh, yeah. Marine biology. Marine biology, yeah. If you want to be a marine biologist,

is there jobs for that? I don't even know. Is it like being a history teacher where there's some, but a lot of people don't end up getting the job that they thought they would? I'll tell you what I think. I think that if you have the whatever degree there is in marine biology, I think you've you gotta go out there

and start looking you would hope that you're at a big enough school that there's like connections to be made that your professors are like you know you'd be perfect over at sea world they need someone to lie for them and get paid to do it i love lying and getting paid to do it sure i have no moms i never did this i'm not in this for the fish i'm in it for the dollars maybe a lot of people like money would want to work at sea world and and like a lot of highly desirable jobs people do it for low prices yeah and that sucks i don't know i'm thinking of the kind of marine biologist who's like somehow getting paid by a university to go do field testing like i'm out here getting paid a good

salary to be on a boat taking measurements of tuna and fucking off off of the waters of alaska but next year i'll be south of uh off the tip of africa you're the guy who's coming up for with a plan to bring back the great barrier reef in australia right i'll tell sure we'll bring it back for money i heard it's coming back if my job is to like make a plan like that it's like free money it's like come up with a plan to save the Great Barrier Reef

or what I'm gonna come up with a plan it takes 30 years to come to fruition in 20 I'm retired idiot and you're gonna pay me the whole time oh it didn't work well i'm 81 moron so so who cares now my first product would be little lisa slurry it does everything little lisa slurry it was an explosive uh a lubricant a low-grade fuel and a baby food

i forgot about that episode oh that's a wonderful episode yeah Lisa learns her lesson yeah have you watched any of the rehearsal yet the Nathan Fielder show yes the new Nathan Fielder one

all right so I'm glad you brought that up tell me this is Nathan Fielder a comedian or is Nathan Fielder a man who is suffering with extreme autism and is powering through it as best he can he's a comedian

are you sure that he has an off button I mean I've never seen it who is suffering with extreme autism and is powering through it as best he can. He's a comedian. Are you sure that he has an off button? I mean, I've never seen it, but he is probably the best in the business at Deadpan at this moment in time. Well, let me just throw this out there because this is what makes me lean the other way, and I did no research, but there's a point in the rehearsal.

I watched some of the first episode, as much as I could stomach, and he says something like, the way I am or my personality or my syndrome. He says something like that. I don't remember the phraseology, but it's off-putting for people when they, and they struggle with me.

So I found that humor is a good way to like break through that. And it's like, are you serious right now? Or is is this a fucking bit because he does start the conversation with humor and it's and this the scary thing is because he has rehearsed his first meeting with this man dozens of times with an actor in a replica of the man's apartment that he took a scan of by sending fake repairman in and but but but but i can't laugh at him because he's so deadpan that i worry that he's he's good at it at least that he's mentally ill or something there's something wrong with him i did see one where it was the poo flavored ice cream bit and this is from his old show but he's failing yogurt shop i've got an idea for you poo flavored ice cream and the guy's like we sell food here

I don't think it's a great idea to have you know poo and food and even the same like you know idea and he goes no no no no trust me this is going to bring a lot of people in lots of foot traffic so they go through this extensive process making poo flavored ice cream they hire a

company that does this somehow and they make a terrible tasting ice cream that they like shop you know they have people eat it oh it tastes like shit you know people hate it they they run the product out there and of course people come in and they fucking hate it because it actually tastes like shit it's not like blueberry and we can we go haha it looks like poo it's shit flavor. And so he goes, Nathan goes, you know, and to the owner of the show, I'm starting to think, this is after, this is the end of the episode. I'm starting to think maybe

it's not such a great idea to have poop and food sort of in the same type thing. And the guy goes, well, yeah, I told you that at the very beginning. And he goes, well, I guess we learned something then. And that's the end he reminds me of carl pilkington i love him yeah because with carl pilkington he never gives up

the goose either like he's sick into that bit of being retarded and it's only if you pay attention he's clearly like great at telling jokes and and like he's just like yeah you wouldn't believe it you know i went there oh i was thought i was at a proctologist but it turned out you know he's a repairman i mean he did a decent job and all but the the oil. You can tell he's making jokes. When he gets the finger in his ass afterward, he's like, and you're a doctor, aren't you? Just joking. Clearly, he's almost harder to read for me.

Nathan Fielder's deadpan-ness. I'm like, he's clearly a deadpan guy. You'd be able to tell more if you watched more Nathan For You of the previous show, Nathan for you. There's a lot of clear bits in there where he's, he's constructing it.

Like, but in the rehearsal, he's a little more, not at least when I'm not in on the joke, when I'm not sure if this per like bubbles, for example, a trailer park boys. When I introduced people to that,

they're like, is that guy retarded? Like, can I laugh at that guy is what they're at. Okay. To mock this fucking googly-eyed fuck or is he like actually a retarded actor and should i be impressed by his performance yeah no you can laugh at him first of all this dude is super cool he plays guitar he rocks out and he's doing a silly voice so laugh it up you know but with the statham filter guy i'm like is it okay to laugh this guy because he's doing a silly voice so laugh it up you know but with this nathan fielder guy i'm like

is it okay to laugh this guy because he's weirding me out you you need to watch some more nathan for you it is of any show like i think i laugh out loud more at it than than any show i've watched in the last couple years it's so fucking funny the guy is the best deadpan guy in the business like the way he sets things up he he strings people along. It's, you know, I don't think we would like it. I mean, I don't say Taylor's interest in comedy is interesting to me.

Uh, he likes, I can't think of his name. Big, strong guy taught Harley how to box. He was on the show. Sam Hyde. Yeah.

You like Sam Hyde a lot. You like Nathan a lot. You like all gas, no breaks. I probably have that right. Um, I think, and like, I don't hear you saying you like comedy gas no brakes i probably have that right um i think and like i i don't hear you saying you like comedy specials very much anymore or tv shows that are supposed to be funny like

you rarely talk about how funny like the office is or something like that yeah you have a different kind of more raw taste now maybe i i mean i like see like nathan for you i like first of all like the creativity of his silly ideas it hooks me so much because like it's just organically super creative and it's novel it's unique and it's really good and his delivery on all the jokes like the absolute refusal of him to give in no matter how uncomfortable a situation is he's always he's always triple quadruple you know septuple dipping back in to make it uncomfortable it's i just i think that guy is a genius he's so fucking funny you've got to watch some nathan for you and well now that i'm sure he's not i don't he's he's not

autistic he's just a it comes off like he he can like he should barely be able to function. He seems so... It's like, do you understand emotions at all? It's like a computer or something, the way he acts. He doesn't act like a human being. And it's weird to see him interact with people because I'm not sure if they're in on the joke. And so I don't know. Again, I don't know if me and Nathan are supposed to be laughing at them

or if they are laughing at me. I don't know who the joke's on. I don't care who the joke's on. It's funny. Like, the joke is often on the people who are, you know, the business owner. But even them, like, you know. I kind of feel bad for them. Well, but, like like that's another thing

these business owners they're not retarded there's cameras all over the place like it's a it's a comedy show i thought gordon ramsay was coming to rejuvenate their business and instead made flavored ice cream they have to agree to it and everything and they know at the crux of it it's a publicity thing and that's why it's so silly and those come like they really have you seen like watch the episode where he he makes a winter coat brand whose mission statement is about teaching people about the holocaust holy shit because he was talking about the north face i don't remember the setup but he's like and shockingly the north face was founded by someone who wasn't sure if the holocaust happened after hearing this i knew it had to change and then like he he created a a company called summit ice if you go to summitice.com you can't still buy

it but their tagline is never forget and it's like people in in summit ice coats with like holocaust factoids under it he like goes to a holocaust museum and gives the proceeds from summit ice to him it's and like makes a joke with them as well obviously you know it's very very funny unique clever stuff so check that anybody out there who hasn't watched nathan for you very fun. Do you guys like the show? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good vibes? Okay. PKA 607.