Painkiller Already - PKA 608 W/ Brandon Buckingham: Wings Returns, Brandon’s Boxing Match, Kyle On 60 Days In

Episode Date: August 13, 2022

Use Code “PKA” for 10% off your entire Lock and Load order! https://gorillamind.com/products/lock-and-load-pka-collaboration-1/?rfsn=6138256.b4345db   https://www.wonkyweeds.com/ Use Code “PKA20” for 20% off! https://www.deathbygummybears.com/ Use Code “PKA20” for 20% off   https://www.BetterHelp.com/PKA   Guest Social Medias: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrandonBuckingham Twitter: https://twitter.com/Buckingham_Show Support PKA on Patreon: https://www.Patreon.com/PKA Merch: http://PainkillerAlready.net PKA on iTunes: http://bit.ly/PKAOniTunes PKA Subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/PKA/ PKA on Podbean: http://painkilleralready.podbean.com

PKA 608 with our guest Branding Buckingham fan favorite Taylor This episode of PKA brought to you by Lock and Load, Death by Gummy Bears Wonky Weeds and Better Help You'll hear more about all of them later But let's catch up with Brandon You're looking great

I love that he froze right there That Can you hear me? You're in a hostel in Denver Sorry my connection's Going crazy can you guys hear me? You're in a hostel in Denver. Sorry, my, my connection's going crazy.

Can you guys hear me? Yes. Yes. I'm in a, uh, that was, that was not a good start, but yeah, I'm in a,

uh, uh, not a brothel. I'm in a, what the fuck are they called? Hostel. Hostel. Hostel in,

uh, Denver right now. I like the brothels top of mind, but hostel can't come up with it. Well, they both sound alike. So what are you doing in a hostel in Denver? I haven't stayed in a hostel before. So what level of privacy do you have? And like Taylor said, what brings you there?

There's like eight people in this room with me right now. It's like the least ideal recording situation. But I'm here because this rap group called spider gang is flying me out to do a episode on one of their concerts it's like a little darky christ dillinger i don't know if you guys heard that song uh fuck fantana with sam hyde and christ dillinger but yeah christ dillinger's in spider gang so that's why i'm at that's why i'm out here you're documenting random hostile people on the show? I could try to.

I could try to. Let's tap this out first. And then before we bring on whatever fucking lunatics. I'm a little excited about the lunatics that you don't know that might enter the show. I'm interested. What is everybody else doing there? In the hostel? Yeah, they're not tracking spider gang they're just laying in their bunks i guess i'm sure they're going to be irritated by the end of this but

can you see each other you look behind yeah if i look down i think there's someone on that bottom that's all I can see really is it a boy or a girl um don't assume I think it's a guy I tricked him into assuming a gender yeah he's very handsome I'm super attracted to him so how long have you been in the hospital so far

uh we got here at like 10am and then sat in the lobby until 3am.m. editing a video. I'm working on this documentary about O'Block right now that should be out in the next few days. So pretty much up off an all-nighter. O'Block, is that where you stayed, Kyle? That was C-Block. Oh, okay.

That was C-Block. Different thing. It's a different thing. But yeah, O'Block is like one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in chicago it's like where chief keith is from king von the murderous area and you just like went in there and yeah i went in and did like street interviews and did like a video about like what it's like to live there did uh did you get a good response yeah i think so we got shot at when we're leaving which was pretty crazy no that well i don't know if they're aiming at us but it was close enough to freak me out it

was like the scaredest i've ever been while filming but yeah like 20 bullets rang out when we were leaving oblock indirect what led to have you filed for your auto zone discount i feel like you're a veteran. Number five, brother. That's what I do to guys. I say, carry on, carry on. At ease. At ease to the mentally handicapped grocers. At ease.

It's not going to hurt those peas peas i'll pick it up yeah it was terrifying what have you what have you guys been up to though it's been it's been like uh what four months since i've talked to y'all what have you become a superhero he's pogo stick man see he intentionally broke one of his legs so through isolation training essentially hopping um he has created a mega leg. Now we're thinking we're about three weeks away from mega leg being powerful enough for Woody, aka Pogo Stickman,

to take to the streets and fight a little crime. Hopping his way to justice. This powerful bouncing? His calf looks so fucking... I don't want to say weird, because that's like a bad word. It's blocky. It's a cinder block calf you could you could use it in masonry that's how solid he actually he actually broke his leg though yeah i did yeah how he's a if you ever seen um when

evil kenevil jumped over that um that uh that uh um jumped over that water fountain. He had that terrible crash. Woody did like one-tenth of that and broke his leg. Jesus. For the viewers who didn't see the other episode, I was on this bike trip, Raleigh

to Colorado. Colorado and Wyoming were the off-road portions and then back. Towards the start of the first off-road portions and then back. Towards the start of the first off-road portion, I took a jump, my umpteenth jump of the day, and it went poorly and the bike landed on my leg and the foot kind of pointed backwards and I broke

my fibula. Holy shit. That's the actual footage of Woody losing control. That's not too far off. You know what's funny? That woman guaranteed was not as hurt as you were. No way. That's not too far off. You know what's funny? That woman, guaranteed, was not as hurt as you were. No way. She's fine. She walked away.

No helmet. She's all good. Well played, Jack. I thought I was getting my cast off today. The doctor insinuated two weeks ago that I would get the cast off. Let me lay out my last two days.

Yesterday morning, I wake up. I go to the dermatologist. You can't see it with my glasses on. Zach, can I go full screen? I have this thing here. Oh, goodness. No, not that thing. That hasn't been healing.

And I went to the dermatologist, and they confirmed – this is the second one that said it's cancer. So they took a little biopsy, and I've got that cooking. Okay, nice. Then I'm going so they took a little biopsy and i've got that cooking okay nice then i'm gonna you know proceed on a little further emergencies um proceed i now go to the dentist what's worse than a dentist appointment my dentist canceled on me just boom didn't see that coming it was a half hour drive what's your dentist's your dentist's name? I actually like him. He hooked me up with a murder. Strike one. What are you, dentist?

Yeah, strike one. We won't say his name. One time I needed cosmetic changes because I bit a fork or something. Right before the show, I'm like, I make a living on camera. They're going to roast me. Please fix my chipped tooth. And he did. So we're going to give him a pass.

We're even. Anyway, hour long round trip. No dentist appointment. I go this morning and i'm so psyched to get my cast off i'm like yeah today's the move i'm gonna get my cast off i'm gonna go swimming this afternoon it's gonna be a blast and um he's like you know what i'm thinking i'm thinking three more weeks mother trucker this went from two to five who saw that coming why did he say that why did he what reason did he give so he took more x-rays and he really likes it the what

the bone is doing he's like it's in perfect position it's not displaced but the crack the broken part itself he wanted to see see more whiteness filled in. Yeah, more actual healing in the bone. Yeah. Okay. I was afraid he was going to be like, it looks a little red. But he took a fucking x-ray. Because if he'd said it's a little red, I'd have been like, you're an elite athlete at this point for your age group.

Tell you what, my dad broke his hand once and the cast got itchy. He sawed that bitch off, no problem. He was just careful with his broken hand for the next six weeks. Don't tell my orthopedic surgeon, but I have a plan. I'm going to wait. Instead of three weeks, maybe one and a half, two weeks, get the bitch wet. And then when I need to go in for a new cast, be like, you know, should we go through with this? Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? And then score an

early. Yeah, we're thinking we need one of those waterproof special caps. Now it's time to put me in six more weeks. Yeah, give him a cone. The first time, I'm taking it all brand new this time, but the first time I got it wet, I asked about a waterproof cast and they said that they're not as durable

and strong and not a fit for my break. So that's what's up man i'm sorry to hear you broke your leg that sounds uh excruciating i was gutted i was like it's the emotional pain not the physical fucking three more i have been really good about like just pretty much spending all my time in bed elevating it in a blacked out room maybe a break to play video games and like just not like this stuff that uh that fills my bucket but i was like just i was ready to go outside and get in the pool and the part of healing that is the work part like you know that some of your healing effort in equals results out that's the part i love i want to be

stretching i want to be strengthening like that's what i like. The part that's lay in bed, take ibuprofen and put your foot in the air, that part makes me so sad. That part's fun too though. Have you been fostering a Percocet addiction? I need a healing mentor and I feel like you're the man. Give yourself room to grow into it i would start i would say start off with like three oxy 30s every day snorting them and work up to till you're able to do like 150 megs a day

you want to sport obviously yeah yeah that's my advice yeah what no for what like for a lot of people they'd be like oh you know i'm laying up in bed i'm doing nothing and oh i got an excuse to do nothing oh being like for what woody is the most go-go person imaginable and so i can't imagine a working dog yeah you're a working dog you're like a sheep dog where it's like look we're gonna let him get a little bit you gotta move you gotta go and so for you this is grueling because i'm trying in my head i was like he could just play video games like what are woody's biggest hobbies oh that's outside that's outside that's in the sky that's definitely outside what do you do inside other like you

play video games until you're like this isn't even fun my minecraft house from dirt all right i was thinking about you earlier today i was thinking about you earlier today and and. I was thinking about you earlier today, and I had an idea that maybe we could play some games together, and maybe not Tarkov if you don't play that. And especially if you've got more weeks of recovery. I was watching someone play DayZ earlier today, and that game's actually gotten good.

It reminded me so much of Tarkov, watching the gunplay and the gameplay. Don't get me wrong, it's not nearly as good as Tark watching the guy like the gunplay and the gameplay don't get me wrong it's not nearly as good as tarkov as far as the gunplay but i don't know just the running around and looting and scrambling for stuff it looked fun that sounds cool we could hold some people up for a ransom and make them dance or whatever you do in that game make them drink bleach i remember last it might have been the last time i played that game that guy had me at gunpoint yep it made me get down on my knees and told me to squeal. You did it too, didn't you? It was, well...

You know, I'm kind of going Milo on this. I wasn't the victim. I wanted it. I didn't take control of my assault. You were okay with being the bottom of that relationship that was just the relationship the two of you had struck in daisy i remember once like uh a guy had killed one of us and uh and two of us found that guy on on respawn and like tricked him into being

our friend and led him into an ambush that was funny oh yeah yeah there's a lot of sneaky stuff in that game but um it's been so long since i played that the game we played is i don't know it's a completely different game now you know one thing i wish that the game was better about allowing you to spawn together sometimes you can spend a good 90 minutes looking for each oh they've got that worked out yeah oh yeah i i was watching all right so i don't know a ton about it i'm talking out of my ass a bit. In the video that I watched, for example, they were doing a duos tournament. It was a bunch of content creators were going in in pairs and then just scattering out across the map, just like on Wipe Day of Rust. There's 15 minutes before you can fight.

They're just scattering out looking for loot and then last man standing kind of thing. That looked tremendously fun. It does sound like fun. I wanted to ask Brandon. So are you still continuing to train with Sam at all? Or is that taking a break from that? Well, I've been on a bit of a hiatus the past like two weeks because I went to Rolling Loud in Miami. Then I went on tour with this band called City Morgue.

And then I was at the Gathering of the Juggalos. So I've been on the road the past two and a half weeks. But I will be commencing my training under Sam's mentorship very soon. Do you have any pictures of you as a Juggalo? Yeah, I have a picture of me with the face paint on from this past year. Let's see it.

I bet Zach can find it. Yeah, he doesn't worry you at all that the government considers him to be a gang or whatever? Well, I'm about that street life, so no, it doesn't worry me at all. I see. Okay. Just wanted to double check. I'm a Juggalo killer.

Just getting fucked up on Faygo and Whippets. Just doing Whippets and drinking soda, yeah, and showing up people are buttholes. Shout out to the Juggalo family, dude. It's a lifestyle. How did you guys like having Sam on PKA 600? That was exciting. That was an exciting crossover. He was good.

He was great. He was good. I think he trolled us just a little bit, but I thought I was scared he was going to troll us a lot, that he was going to never leave character. Nice, man. Hang on. Let's read that caption there.

Because I'm a Juggalo soldier soldier also known as a warrior i don't think you know what commas do because i'm a juggalo soldier also known as a warrior i guess it's a lyric and then he's just showing like yeah i like white claw hard seltzers oh my god your eyes are looking a little faded there. Oh, that's the guy who pretended to be the crypto dude in the documentary, right? Yeah, that's Jit Neptune, the youngest in the game. Shout out, Jit. Jit Neptune. He's an icon.

He's an icon, and that's his real name, Jit Neptune. I've been living with him in Providence the past two months. I love Jit. He's a good dude. If his real name is Jit Neptune, he's destined for great things. He's an icon. He's underrated. Can you imagine telling a cop that or showing them your ID?

Sir, can I see your license and registration? Yes, absolutely, officer. Just so you know, I have a very unusual name. And yes, it is real. Here's the number you can call to verify that as well. It would be like when you have a concealed carry permit and you got a gun on your hip. I'm wearing my license around my neck. You may

take it from me. It sounds like he was born in a commune that thought they were going to space or something, so they named him fucking Jet Neptune, but it's good. I love that guy. Yeah, getting grilled. That's great. Yeah. But yeah, you guys enjoyed

the Sam Hyde episode episode i thought it was good yeah i did you know not catching up getting to know him it's um it's always a little surreal when you've watched someone on tv or something i've been a bit of a fan of theirs and and you know then you get the privilege to kind of have a genuine conversation with him and ask him whatever you want um or potentially like make an asshole of yourself and like the person that you really like or admire whatever like that you know that they left that night being like well he was a piece of shit you can't avoid that as well um so yeah it was uh it was really neat to talk to him because i haven't been a fan of him as long as taylor has but uh but taylor showed me his stuff

maybe a couple years ago maybe um. And I really like it. So it was neat. I watched his interaction with iDubbbz, and it just opened my eyes to the kind of, like, heavy artillery verbally that he possesses. And then we had him in the show, and it's like, don't point that at me, please. Be nice to me.

Fred, not food. at me please be nice to me friend not food so like yeah no i've been i've been a fan of sam hyde for like fucking damn almost a decade since like 2013 so it was like really surreal for me to hang out with him and be able to learn from him and stuff it's been really enjoyable he was the first person i ever hit up when i started youtube like i emailed him being like how much would i have to pay you to do a video? And the time wasn't right then. So it's good that it's happening now. Was the time not right because he wasn't interested or because you didn't have enough money? He wasn't interested in my like measly like thousand dollars or whatever.

It was just not, you know, it wasn't going to cut it. Yeah. I had to prove my worth. Did any of you guys ever do that? Message someone that you were like a fan of on YouTube or whatever, like cold call them essentially when you were starting out. guys ever do that? Message someone that you were a fan of on YouTube or whatever, cold call them essentially when you were starting out? I still do that. I've told this story before.

You might not remember it, but early on, I think I wasn't even on YouTube yet, but Hutch wanted to go HD with his videos and he was like, if 300 people give a dollar, then boom, I've got it i have a hd recorder and i can make this happen and i'm like i'll give you 20 if you play with me he's like no

no no no no that's too much for one person etc and i'm like well i've sent 20 it's on you whether you're a dealer or not you know like like so he's like all right well you know i'm in you know he didn't want to be a welch even though i completely defined a deal he never agreed to i discovered youtube i think mostly because i wanted to know more about call of duty 4 and uh so i was because i was so bad at it and um that like i think that's when i started actually using youtube as a as more than just any as when it started standing using youtube as a as more than just any as when it started standing out as a website that i use like one of my like three main time wasters or whatever or not really time wasters after a while i suppose but anyway in

any case i found zerg riz's stuff and i messaged zerg riz and i was like i want to play with you that looks fun and he was like and he just immediately just added me on xbox live and started playing with me and i always thought that was so random and I never asked him why he just immediately accepted the friend request and started playing with me because he didn't know who I was I certainly I didn't even have I didn't know how to make videos you know

and then I ended up having dinner with him that night in LA like years and years later and he got so drunk he got lost outside and wandered off so those are my never got to tell him yeah i did the same thing for it wasn't like just a cold call but i remember like when i was starting my youtube woody was i think you had like 20 000 subs or something something like that like at the time big big deal and woody was like anybody

who gives 50 to march dimes i'll do a dual comm with and i was like this is beyond like obviously the move if i can i remember being so nervous leading up to the video i did with you i'm like this is your chance if you don't knock this out of the park everybody's gonna say that you suck and you'll have to quit and so then like I did it and I remember being so anxious like, okay, okay. Like then you uploaded it and like checking the comments and like them being positive and like that. That was like what kicked me off. Like getting like a thousand subs from that video we did together that I had a viewership. So I didn't know that.

I didn't know that you had done a dual commentary with Woody. How was it that you never did one with wings? Because everybody did. I did do one with wings. You did? Yeah. Way back in the day. Your gameplay or his?

I don't remember, but I remember probably yours. The only thing that's probably mine. The only thing I remember is like right before we started recording, I was there with my shitty little desk mic and I was like, Oh, this guy's a real deal commentator. Like he's a pro.

And like, we're right about to start. And he like all right i gotta go tt and then we'll kick this off and i was like okay sometimes you gotta go tt man like is that poop no like p yes dude i had that well then i had a more uh more extreme experience because when I needed to do my dual comp, my first dual commentary with Wings ever, and I'm in the same position, right? Like, oh, I've got my video lined up and the gameplay I thought was great. Great in terms of like being able to give tips. And I have timestamps, right? Like, hey, if there's a conversation lull at 38 seconds, bring it to here. If there's a conversation lull at one minute, 14 seconds, bring it to here.

I've got paperwork in front of me to make this thing the best that it can be. And I'm all ready and I'm like prepared. Wings is super late. To him, this is a non-event. He's not excited about doing a dual con with me. It's only in reverse. And long story short, he's constipipated he asked me some advice on that i'm like uh i don't know frosted miniweeds is kind of magic for me

and we have to push it to another day because of his digestive issues that's so what a shame so wings though to show to not to be late because of something like constipation i cannot remember the all right maybe i've been fortunate i also have never had like a kidney stone but i've never been constipated and in an issue in my entire life i've never been like i want to shit but i can't that's never been a thing same like i sit down and i shit i don't have to sit down and go through some fucking 10 minute 15 minute process to get the shit out of me. I remember there's this scene where I heard Elvis died on the toilet. And I assume that's because he's straining really hard and he has an aneurysm.

And there's this scene in The Sopranos where the same thing happens to that guy. And to me, that's always been like, I don't quite... You know how children have these funny ways of thinking about things? Even now, I'm like, do Italians have big turds or something? Is there a joke here I don't understand? Because I've never had this issue. I think barbiturates make you constipated.

That was probably Elvis' issue. I know opioids do. Opioids can literally clog your bowels. Limba. He never shit. R.I.P I used to be Concept paid a lot when I was a little kid I just didn't have a good bathroom schedule

I was stupid See a bathroom schedule is a thing That didn't occur to me until I was like I don't know 12 or something But I would get to work Or school and I'd have to take like an emergency shit And my dad was like I don't understand this problem.

You got, you notice that nobody else ever has to run away from work to take a shit. But you, I'm like, I gotta go. I gotta go. That's what they say. He's like,

every morning I take a shit every morning at the same time. And I'm like, well, I don't have to go. It's like, just go. Oh yeah. This isn't just,

we don't wait until we have to go we we empty out in the morning before we go about our day okay this makes sense and as a 12 year old i figured that out and since then not only have i not been constipated but i i really minimize the amount of public shits i've had to take in my life maybe eight the bridge of maybe eight here's the problem you know what you know what really ruined my batting average? Prison. But I was constipated for like three fucking weeks

when I first got there. I think I only took like maybe six prison shits in two months. The reason I don't like public poop is I don't have my arsenal of tools. I either have a bidet or at the very least wet wipes here at home so I can poop and then come out

possibly cleaner than pre-poop. Yeah, now that I think of that prison thing, but I don't think that was constipation. That was just some sort of stress-induced non-shitting event. That's literally what was that. Your body became efficient.

I didn't feel uncomfortable or anything. I don't know what that was i think i was just terrified i mean like but you're not supposed to force yourself to shit so if you don't have to go in the morning you sit there and you're trying to like that that's how you get a hemorrhoid you're supposed to let it come out when it wants to and hopefully not anytime it wants to not anytime but you're supposed to let it come out when it wants to and hopefully not anytime it wants to not anytime but you're telling me you never have dire situations in public ah it's like i need to shit i mean it's so like what i would have is like like i wouldn't say it gets anywhere near the emergency stage it's like oh let's prioritize getting home like like all right i was gonna go to like three stores today

let after home depot i'm going straight home like like that might happen but there's no like oh fuck it leave the groceries honey we gotta go like that doesn't happen i guess have you guys ever had a hemorrhoid no well woody has but we have you guys are all hemorrhoids for all of us. He's like the Jesus Christ of hemorrhoids. He came and suffered for all of us. Thank you. I appreciate your sacrifice, Woody. I'm class leading on this one. I guess you have, Brandon?

No, I haven't had a hemorrhoid yet. And I haven't been in jail yet. But hopefully 2022 I'm going to get a hemorrhoid and I'm going to go to prison. You know, there could be cause and effect, right? You could go to prison and get a hemorrhoid from all the abuse. Do you guys think I would do good in prison? I think you'd do great. You know J there could be cause and effect, right? You could go to prison and get a hemorrhoid from all the abuse. Yeah. Do you guys think I would do good in prison?

I think you'd do great. You know jiu-jitsu and you're tall. I have a kind smile. Brandon, do you think jiu-jitsu is effective in prison? I think 1v1 sexual assault situations, it would be good. But as soon as like, you know, Brutus and Andre come in and they want to put the works on me tag team style, I think my jiu-jitsu starts to uh run on some issues any guy with a modicum of modesty understands that it's not a 2v1 fighting style and uh also like with that prison napalm or something

opening move like yeah i sink in a fucking triangle and he just starts shanking me in my ribs with a knife that's the the thing. What about shanks? What about knives? What if you just look in the wrong way and they kick it off with a lock and a sock to the back of your head? I'm trying to tell him to tap and he's literally disemboweling me. Do I think that you can beat a jealous boyfriend who meets you outside in a bar situation? Yeah. That's where you thrive that's your that's your place you're in the grass in front of a bar with a jealous boyfriend who's untrained and overconfident can i i'll give odds on this you know but in prison with some guy with

a shank you want to cuddle yeah trouble i think we're going to avoid fighting at all i think that would be the way to the way to i've seen a lot of prison fight videos and almost always the two people involved aren't the ones delivering head kicks but head kicks are there like someone is someone is coming in and kicking heads and it's like damn this guy's beating the shit out of oh now he's paralyzed too like that yeah just don't get in a fight in prison i would imagine is the rule kyle's right man you know i have to be able to mind your own business i'm re-watching 60 days in um and it's the season where there was a marine like this chubby ex-marine guy and and they do this evaluation stage at the beginning where like the sheriffs or whatever the jail running guy is like

he evaluates the the entrance and and and he picks one of them to be like the alpha of the group. He's like, Dale, I'm going to say that you're the most prepared to go into our jail. I think we're going to send you in today. Obviously we can't send four men in at once. It looks kind of funny. So you going in today immediately, this guy's like, well, I had, um, I don't know, you know, know i gotta i gotta check my laundry and uh i gotta i gotta make phone calls i you know i got a lot of uh what time is it not like now like he's scared immediately he starts crying and taps out in the entrance room like like in that

it's like the drunk tank essentially it's it's yeah that is the nicest room that you'll ever be if you get arrested it's that first little silver stainless steel or plexiglass room where you just sit there with your arms crossed and it's real cold for an hour or two he starts crying in there and fucking tapped out it was real embarrassing oh yeah that was brutal i remember making fun of him on stream that guy all-time loser in that show i don't know there were there were at least two people who tapped an intake at least the worst all-time loser the worst is this there was there was a midget who applied one time and i and when i say midget i mean like he even has a little person voice and he's about i don't know five foot one you mean dwarf kyle yeah but they have their own presence midget and this no No, it wasn't a dwarf.

Those are mythical creatures. You're a big... Like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. That's the PC word. Midget's the racist word. It came full circle. Now we call them black people. It came full circle now.

How does it feel? You better hope there's no dwarves back there behind you you know i got a hearing i got a ladder i'm getting nervous get up of your hate speech quite frankly yeah yeah i'm about to click report i wanted to be on the show so for some reason this midget wants to go to 60 days in and and he he doesn't even make it to like the entrance day he He's in the training program. He's calling. He's like, I've been thinking about this. Maybe it's not such a great idea.

He bitches out before he even gets to step one. They always gave them cover stories that were made to fuck them up. I bet they would make him a small arms dealer. They gave him cover stories that sort of sabotaged them oh intentionally like they would like there were times where they'd be like so your cover story is that you were pulled over for driving with expired plates but you had a warrant for an insurance thing and and it was off this road at this time and this is your story and the person will be like memorizing their story like i need to keep this straight.

Then they get in and instantly someone's like, Hey, what are you in for? And they run through it. And the guy in the prison is like, that's not even this County. Why would this County be housing you in jail? What the fuck are you talking about?

Oh, well, cause it's Clark County and, and you committed it in, in orange County or whatever. And then the guy goes, Oh, well it's federal charge. And he's like, well, they're federal. It's federal charge.

And he's like, well, if it's federal, you need to be upstairs then. Like, this guy is such a fucking criminal that he knows where you go when you get federal or state charge. And they all know it, too. And so he walks away, and he's like, you better get your story straight. It's like, oh, my God, does this guy just know? And the worst part is, the guy whose cover is blown he was already gonna struggle he was a goofy he looked like the guy you cast as the white nerd in high school he looked like um who was the um the the kid from saved by the bell who eventually did the porno

like the nerd from screech he looked like fucking screeched and they gave him a fake cover story it was that show is so good like the people who do well often surprise you we've had two members of the show on on here and the guy who did the bible story bible story you know they made him look silly on the show but then when he came on here he's like yeah in honesty like that's where i made the most friends people did come to the bible study and we all did talk and chat and like religion seems like such an important inroad i noticed that there was this one woman who was an absolute kook a loon like no not even the prisoners wanted to hang out with her but because she went so far with the religious shit like she wasn't like we're gonna

have bible study she's like the lord is returning and here you sit complaining of the meals set before you like things like that and so all the real criminal ladies are like i'm not fucking with that bitch like near the end of the show she started like out in the common area talking about how ghosts were visiting her every night and like murderers were keeping distance a smart strategy oh yeah i remember there was a black girl she was like yeah a ghost tried to rape me last night yeah and her cellmates like oh yeah fuck i don't wake up run not when i think i'm one of the ghost rapists and shank me or something like it was scary the greatest contestant of all time is tony though tony is this big black dude who goes in and he's such a hard ass i think he'd

worked as a prison guard before so he goes in and i don't know what transaction he had done with a fellow inmate maybe some potato chips or something like that but this guy owed tony now and he couldn't pay tony back and tony's like give me your fucking pants then oh shit i think i was like what take off your pants and the man takes off his pants and tony fucking takes them from him and and that man is so afraid of tony tony takes everything from him by the way it's not just but that was the most embarrassing thing like it's bad enough he cleans your pockets out and robs you but if the man says take off your goddamn pants too i own those pants now yeah now they're my fucking pants yeah later son wranglers huh and so this man and a real deal criminal goes to the staff the prison

staff or jail staff and it's like that tony guy is gonna fuck me up you gotta get me in protective custody he's afraid of the contestants and has to go to protective custody and tony's like yes what it is it's what it is yeah tony's great yeah he was the best character i called them characters because it's so not real a lot of it like yeah hi hi t tony that guy the the prison conformed to whatever he wanted it to be he like he a lot of them did that bullshit where they're like yeah i've been here for a week and i feel like i'm one of the top guys and then they go talk to to nazi mcgillicuddy and they're like you know what do you think about steve and they're like he ain't a nazi we see through like like level like that this guy doesn't want to be ever respected by everyone

like he was all-timer all-time top ranking guy i think i mean but the best ones are the people who suck the people who go in there so much false confidence so much nonsense that like the balls to walk into a prison situation and be like yeah i'm a third grade teacher and i'm ultimately confident in this because i deal with adverse situations all the time and it's like you can just send them away to another adult who doles out punishment. Like what? Like, this is not like prison at all. The worst part is like, I,

like I, I did that. You know, I went to prison for 60 days. So I feel like I've done what they're, what they're doing. So I feel like I can, I feel like I can talk as much shit on them as I want.

Yeah. Cause I didn't cry once. All right. I cried at home a few times after I got arrested. And then never again for that, for all of that nonsense. And I certainly wasn't going to fucking cry in jail in front of the fucking cops. Yeah, definitely. Fuck that.

Let them know I'm upset. In front of snow. I'm not showing any goddamn emotion. Like, let's go. let's go but yeah let's go fucking do i turn left now what do you want like but and these people are being such pussies on that show especially the ones that tap out like in that entrance area like all they've seen was like a black guy with his arms like like like maybe they're in the tank with like a homeless guy who's like a passed out in the corner and that scared him for some reason it's like how i didn't grow up in the inner cities or anything i've never been exposed to any hard scary shit but i was just like okay here we go like

nobody's gonna fuck us and it's always some like it'd be one thing if you were some like fem boy going in there that would be scary like the more attractive and small you are, I think the scarier it could actually be to go in there. But that Marine, for example, was like, you know, a chubby white dude. There's plenty of chubby white dudes in there. You're not going to be the belle of the ball or anything. No. He would just stand there and like hold on to the railing

because he was in for a day, I think. I think he started tapping out in the entrance area, but they actually put him in and got him out like later that day or something but he just stood there so scared like someone was going to attack him wouldn't that be funny like a guy who's worried about the sexual assault in prison but he's so ugly he becomes like a prison wallflower like he's upset because there's no affection being shown his way and all the other guys are getting it like i don like, I don't understand. Why am I not fuckable?

I put Kool-Aid powder on my lips too. He's the only contestant we've ever seen turn himself out. He prolapsed his own anus. Yeah. Like unless somebody is like threatening you, actually like there's no reason to be scared and i just felt like so many of these people are bitches i don't understand all the crying either whenever i don't understand the crying all right it's it i was watching that i think it's the season that i

was describing it was the one with the the marine guy it might be season one or two i don't know but but i will say the scariest one the one one that reminded me the most of actual prison was the Atlanta jail. The Atlanta jail is so much worse than where I was. The Atlanta jail, I don't have any shit to talk about the people who went to the Atlanta jail because I didn't do what they did. Those people did some hard shit.

That place is scary. So they switched prisons before season six and they moved to this very brutal, high violence Atlanta prison. That's way more dangerous, apparently, than any other one they've they've hosted the show at. And apparently a lot of the contestants did not know this. And so, like, there are interviews with them like this is not at all like the other seasons of 60 Days In. Like, I've watched the show like this is what the fuck we didn't know. Like there's fights every day, like actual violence,

real drugs. It's way bigger, way more people, way more politicking with the, you know, the way the cells work is more hardcore. Everybody's on lockdown at night. It's a,

it's a real deal. It's, it's where I wanted to go before I knew what it was. Because it was one of the potential places they could have sent me instead of to Talladega and I'm so glad they didn't send me there oh my god it looks so scary so I got no shit to talk on them

but those people that stayed in those other jails those weren't that bad you did a great job you made it through for real you couldn't tap out I've heard that they get i think it comes out to like fifty four thousand dollars because i think they're getting like three grand an episode and whatever that math comes out to you know i don't have it up the top of my head. But when you do it like that, it'd be easy to tap out halfway through or something like that.

If there's not some sort of escalation where like, oh, and if you finish, there's a $10,000 bonus or something like that would keep me in for the long haul. But if I'm really bummed out and I've been in here for whatever, 55 days and I can leave now and like you keep that three grand i would leave then probably because the last week is the worst week oh yeah it'd feel like two weeks insofar as how long it took i was uh i was looking at your channel brandon and you had some experience eating bugs what is what is the stack ranking i've never eaten a bug what and i imagine them to be disgusting. Were you pleasantly surprised or were they as bad as you would imagine? And I guess which ones did you eat?

So they were gross. I ate crickets, maggots, and I think that's it. I can't really remember. But I definitely ate crickets and maggots. They were gross, but they were better than I thought they were going to be. But the wonderful presence of the escort I was with made it worthwhile. It was a good experience. Because not everyone can say they ate bugs with an escort in Thailand.

Yeah, I know. You can't live in life. You can talk to your grandkids. Yeah, it's something I'm very proud of. But, yeah, that was a fun episode. The bugs were gross, but it was good. Shout out Hammy, my sweet little ham sandwich. I also wanted to say I bought Lock and Load.

Hell yeah. Your guy's product. I shouted out in an episode. I bought two containers, and I've been oozing cum. You know what I'm saying? I've been squirting and dripping and fucking causing all kinds of problems. Pre-cum, all the time. It was at this point where his hostile roommates realized

that they should probably find a different room for the night. Yeah, dude. Yeah. It worked. Yeah, they've been catching secondhand cum shots every time I have a little filly up in here. Have you been able to blow the mind of any escorts with your volume yet? No, all that escort stuff, that was all hearsay.

It was all just a joke. I was speculative. But I have been with some nice, regular young women. I'm a civilized individual. I'm not a sex pervert. I'm not a sex freak. I'm a regular guy. Hear that, everyone?

No, but it is funny because you say you say stuff on the internet you try to be funny and you make jokes and then people like uh they jump to some pretty crazy conclusions so i have a whole i have a whole gang of people that think i'm a sex freak also people think i'm homophobic and transphobic and racist and shit that's insane you're wearing a pan-african headband right now yeah exactly i'm an avid supporter but no yeah people just like to like label you and try to like demonize you even though you actually haven't said or done anything that heinous or terrible that's i can imagine just wait yeah your content in particular a lot of people read too far into it like he's trying to make a social commentary about that and it's like no it's a bit it's it's trying to get a laugh and and do jokes yeah like my last video sus rapping and oblock you know i

wanted to go to a really dangerous place and that is known for rapping and do like a gay rapping routine and people took that as me being like homophobic it's like literally the joke is that i'm in the ghetto and i'm gay and gay stuff is not typically like talked about in rap so it's just like going against the grain it's not like I'm making some grandstand against like homosexuals like yeah it's like the joke is literally you're taking two things that are not traditionally congruous and juxtaposing them like that's explaining jokes makes it not funny but it's like if you can't understand that and you think that's some social take about like he's singing about being gay because he doesn't like gay people.

It's like, calm down. People say like, I'm a culture vulture. I'm using black people for my own agenda and shit. It's like, dude, I literally went up into their hood and made a joke of myself. I'm going to steal that term culture vulture. I like that. But I want to make it

positive. Make it positive? Yeah. Like people who steal things, but to make it positive make it positive yeah like like you take the best but they make it better like pepsi like diet pepsi they stole that from diet coke but diet pepsi is better than diet coke so that's a that's a culture vulture well facts pepsi max is better than coke zero i don't need all that caffeine no no no let's talk about boxing though you guys because i'm nervous. I have a big boxing fight coming up in October. I can't say who it's against, which is silly at this point.

How do you match up against this guy physically? Same height, same weight. Same build? Yeah. Huh. Is he anyone that you called out on the show before? No. If you're talking about Danny Danny Danny

wasn't interested in like doing the fight so but it's all good um but it is it is a white guy he was he was a big streamer on twitch back in the day damn so are you confident it should be exciting I'm 6'3 175 I'll tell you my confidence I don't know man I'm not a boxer", 175. I'll tell you, my confidence, I don't know, man. I'm not a boxer. If it was wrestling or jiu-jitsu, I'd be very confident. I know I'm a very adequate grappler, but boxing is hard, and I'm not talented or experienced in boxing. But I have been training really hard, and Sam has been doing his best to get me in shape.

What's the most difficult part of learning to box? For me, it's just so awkward to be like not in my wrestling stance you know keeping my hands up my shoulders are burnt out i don't like getting hit in my face punches coming at me um it's just completely different let's say i'm a fish out of water nothing that nothing that helps me in wrestling like it does good for me in uh boxing i guess some like footwork stuff and stance stuff and like a little clinch work but i was gonna say like you like when conor mcgregor fought floyd mayweather he really bent the rules as much as he could with the in the clinch yeah

like he really bullied uh the guy that because he's definitely strong he always took his back he did whatever he could to like he was like doing duck unders ugly. He wanted to reset as much as he could. Because Conor wants to fucking go boom and knock him the fuck out. So anytime he can clinch, he wants to clinch. Not only is he going to make Floyd tired, but now we reset. Now I get to reset the trap again. Instead of going into some, I don't know, bunch of Conor. Hopefully I'll be able to utilize clinching in my fight um because we

have a similar reach so it's going to be interesting but my goal with this whole thing is to just put on a really exciting performance have a lot of heart win or lose and just and try my best and i know if i if i do as good as i can i'm sure it's going to be tough to uh to beat me but you know you can't control whether you lose all you can do is control how hard you try what aspects of your boxing are the hardest to get right um head movement is really fucking difficult like yeah like understanding the pockets and slipping your head off the center line and you know in wrestling and jujitsu i know the counters to so many offensive attacks right like if i go for a shrug and and and you start to circle out i know i can

do a knee pick run through for instance with boxing i don't know like the counters i have a very basic like skill set that i can apply and i just feel very limited you know what i mean it's difficult keep your eyes open well yeah like i i when i first started i'm so gun shy like i'm blinking every time i'm getting punched yeah you have to keep your eyes open and stay focused and my dumb ass could close my eyes when I threw a punch half the time. Yeah. I would like to get on here and tell you how much of a badass I am. And I'm going to fucking knock this guy out. But in reality,

it's like a real test and I'm like really trying my hardest and I'm excited to see what happens. Cause it's like, it's bad. What's the format? Like how many rounds? And I think it, I want to say it is five,

three minute rounds, 10 ounce gloves. That's a real fight. Yeah, it's in Keemstar's Happy Punch organization. Shout-out Happy Punch. Shout-out Keemstar. But, yeah, it's like I could go out there and get fucking knocked out, and you guys could all watch it.

That's a real fight. I hope you don't. I hope you win. I expect you to say like three two-minute rounds or something like that. Yeah. A lot of times that's what they do for someone's first match. 15 minutes of fighting is a tremendous amount. I scared yeah it's a scary thing but it's it's something that i've always wanted to do i've always shied away from striking because i knew i wasn't

skilled so when it's all said and done at least i can say like i really challenged myself and uh tried my best you know do you think cardio will be an issue or do you think that def cardio is gonna be a major issue because um because i'm a cigarette addict and I smoke cigarettes every waking second. You're really scaring me right now. I expected you to be like, oh, cardio? You don't even know. That is the one place where I got this guy 100%. No.

You really have a background of cardio. I hope he's a smoker. I talked to a doctor. He convinced me to do this uh carcinogen aerobic training i did it for about two months scarred my lungs got some serious tar build up and uh yeah cardio is going to be a major issue for me yeah damn yeah and skills and skills are going to be an issue heart is going to be a problem determination willpower I elected to do it for free I wish I could tell you who it was

so does the guy you're fighting is he of similar skill set to you or is he also above you in boxing skills so he first started training in 2017 but he hasn't like competed or anything i would i would expect he has a slight advantage in experience and everything but i have an uh an advantage in like you know i have almost a thousand wrestling matches you know one-on-one competition in front of a audience so i should

have an advantage in the that department i feel like mindset competition department well good luck to you but because that that would be a terrifying prospect when is the fight uh october 14th in miami florida speculatively but yeah sam sam is a great coach and he's he's dedicated a lot of time and effort into uh helping me and i'm super thankful for sam and it was really uh really cool to meet him and you know you think he's going to be some fucking crazy super genius for sam and it was really uh really cool to meet him and you know you think he's going to be some fucking crazy super genius weirdo and he's just like a nice regular dude who's super funny and talented so tell me this like like because i'm still i'm fixated on this cardio thing because that's the scariest part of fighting i if i imagine myself in a fight where i'm out

matched and the guy is just beating me up. That's one thing. But when I imagine myself completely exhausted, and it doesn't even matter what the skill sets are like anymore because I just can't keep my hands up. I know that feeling when I can't get enough oxygen just to live. It almost feels like when I'm completely spent. To have someone attacking you and feel like that, that is actually scary. It is scary.

I've had that in sparring i don't i can't even cover up anymore like yeah that worn out inspiring when you're getting punched out and you can barely keep your guard up and you can barely fire in return you're trying to clinch and they're like fucking not letting you clinch yeah it's not a good feeling but um no i'm working working my cardio as hard as i can we're doing uh two a days with jason eshrada who's a former olympian uh boxer so yeah sam's getting me right he's doing everything what kind of training specifically two-a-days with Jason Estrada, who's a former Olympian boxer. So, yeah, Sam's getting me right. He's doing everything he can. What kind of training specifically for the cardio are you doing?

Is it running, jogging, elliptical? Is it hitting the heavy bag? So, yeah, primarily we'll do, like, heavy bag drills. We'll hit pads. We do, like, sometimes we'll do, like, tire flips. They switch it up a lot. And I have this kind of adventure belly doing my strength and conditioning. So, yeah, sometimes we go on long bike rides, heavy bag work, sparring, hitting pads.

That's pretty much it for cardio. Man, that's the scariest part to me, though, about getting into something like that. An organized fight would be round four. Are you serious? I thought this was. This is five. Yeah. Looking back at my coach.

Or whoever the fuck. Volunteered to get in my corner. One of the cool things. That's drawing me to it. Is like. You know. Social media is such a finicky. Like bullshit game. Where people like.

Blow up. Off like nothing. And it's like. It's not very concrete. This is like a cool. Concrete thing. I get to go do. Where I get to go. Like. You know. Test myself know test myself versus another person and there's no like bullshit or

trickery i'm either good enough or i'm not either worked hard enough or i didn't gloves is really legit as well like everything about this format is is made to not get somebody knocked the fuck out is that normal sized uh boxing gloves 10 ounce when i don't even know. I use 16 ounce gloves. They make me slow and they don't hurt the guy I'm hitting nearly as much. They hurt. You get knocked the fuck out with some 16 ounce gloves. 10 ounce gloves move fast.

I don't have as much to cover up with. Those big shields that, don't get me wrong, you cover up and somebody hits you in the hands. Now you're just getting hit in the face by your own hands. You can break somebody's hands like that. But it's the boxing gloves.'s not like it's not the kind that have your like poke like the fingers out right yeah it's boxing yeah but you'd you'd know if you put can we see 16 next to 10 zach potentially because there's a visual difference

yeah when you're wearing them you feel that difference it's a oh ass now so like uh mayweather like the ones i see him wearing those are 16 no that's probably right i'm sure he's depending on about he's like real specific about remember the horse hair mexican made gloves he wanted yeah he really defined the gloves what do you guys think about sam's fight versus i'm thompson because that's coming up and i'm going to be there in london aug August 27th 16 days I'm Thompson yeah Sam was fighting some like Instagram guy I don't even know what I'm Thompson

we looked at him on the show he was pretty buff oh yeah we did look at this guy he's pretty big but we also saw that photo of Sam Sam is very large also Sam's big body so what are you thinking about that fight Sam's been drinking

the blood of uh calvary or just horses for a while i'm not even kidding for uh the hemoglobin and the the the toxins i'm serious blood he does a lot of blood he's been drinking horse blood yeah i don't know he tried to get me to do it i wasn't really interested in it but yeah blood play you know his whole like gourmetios bit where he's like a vampire? He takes it really seriously. Oh, wow. Actually fucking weird. Where does he get his horse blood? Does he have a guy?

He gets it in leader bags in the internet. I don't know. But he's really into blood and he's adamant that blood helps recovery. I don't believe that. Are you sure it's blood? I think it's got blood. blood there's no way he's actually drinking i believe that you if you tell me you saw him drink a bag of blood i believe you i just don't believe that there was blood in that bag i believe that he was like give me the fake bag of blood yeah yeah

hey brandon come here look at this this is my this is stallion blood this makes me strong yeah i feel like he's trolling you but don't someone know someone's gotta have some good stuff in it that's what does your body need more than other people's bodies the results speak for themselves i mean but okay let's pretend it's human blood right let's go let's go presidential on this children's human blood that's? Let's go presidential on this. Urmule. Children's human blood. That's how you cure diseases. It seems like. It seems like if I'm going to eat chicken and lemonade and turn that, sugar-free of course,

and turn that into blood, that is an inefficient way to do it. I need to consume actual blood. What does my body need more than body? Why is the production of blood an important thing for you wait i'm turning food into blood when i could just be turning blood into blood exactly what okay like if you want to make muscle you eat some look i like if we if you needed some blood you know if you were low if you were

anemic i'd say yeah maybe have a little blood pudding there you could use a little blood you'd let me drink you more blood you're okay here i'm running i've got the nutritional info for a cup of animal blood so this is probably cow not horse but one cup of animal blood is 206 calories basically no fat at all 20 milligrams of cholesterol a good bit of sodium a little bit of potassium 52 grams of protein in protein 206 calories 52 grams of protein in a cup of blood so it it will that's a great ratio 200 calories and 50 grams of protein it says here one cup of animal blood 206 calories 50 grams of protein? It says here, one cup of animal blood, 206 calories, 52 grams of protein. Okay, and when you look at Sam. I still corrected.

Blood is the way to go. I'm eating this fucking chicken and broccoli horse shit. When you look at Sam. We're going full blood diet. He's so ox-like. I want a bag. But yeah, he is ox-like. More plates, more dates led you wrong with this vertical he's like steel

he's gonna be he's gonna be furious that you gave up his secret derek you better make a video using this as a highlight we need you to fucking explain to me why you didn't put us onto this blood shit nutritionics nutrition's in the name no the thing is derrick derrick doesn't want you to really get performance enhancing i'm gonna do anything performance enhancing like i kind of want some epo like if i if i were gonna do i'll say this if i were you brandon i would be on epo like like i would get right on that right fucking now i it would be very easy for you to find a guy who could help you with that so that you could get on epo

like immediately i would be blood doping somehow or another if i was in any i'm talking i'm not talking about competitively if like me and my boys like to ride like mountain bikes i'd be like yeah hook me up there i'm gonna going to design his cocktail. Obviously, he needs testosterone and EPO. That would be cool. I didn't even think about doing that. It would be sick to just do a bunch of PEDs and get fucking yoked and really athletic.

How many days do you have? I'm in twink mode. I have about two months. That's perfect. They don't test. They're not going to test you. Start a cycle. There is no way Keystar's organization is testing for performance enhancing

drugs. I doubt it. They'd probably be upset if you weren't on them. You're committing a bit of a faux pas by not being on the EPO. We got your blood work back, Brandon. You're not on anything? You're a bitch, dude. You have a womanly testosterone levels. Get the fucking state of you. Your opponent's on some Captain America serum and you're fucking...

Yeah. Watch my opponent shows up just so athletic out of nowhere. He's on steroids big time. That would suck. If that happened, you just got to take him to the ground and then just end it. Say fucking ankle pick. You cheat, I cheat.

And she'll come out. He shows up looking like Boagrius. Boagrius. No, my thought is even if my opponent comes in in great shape, as long as I show my heart and determination, it's not going to be like an L. As long as you put on a good fight and you're not a bitch. So it should be good.

Definitely. That's true. But that's why if I was going to use a performance enhancer for boxing it would be for the cardio because while i guess that is an edge it's going to allow me to beat somebody up more effectively it's more about allowing me to just stay in the fight i just want more fuel to like stay here and keep fighting the training in this situation then like the blood uh i don't have a lifetime to learn how to do it. You might be able to train.

I'm making up numbers. Six hours a day where a natural guy can do two. Yeah. I don't know what EPO feels like. I would legitimately be interested in doing if I were doing any kind of endurance training whatsoever, though, because TJ Dillashaw looks like a... He looks like he's a god or something. A little short one.

He'd be like a messenger god, like Hermes or something. But a god nonetheless. Yeah. Yeah. And he got busted for EPO. He's a fucking freak. And he's going to come right back and just destroy. He still looks tremendous.

Yeah. Speaking of UFC, how about Piotr Jan losing to Aljamain Sterling? Are you guys in that deep to where you care about that or no? Yeah, shocking. So for people who don't watch, here's the scoop. These guys were fighting each other. Pietre, is that how you pronounce his name? Piotr, yeah.

He was favored to win, and in the first match, he nearly did. He beat the dickens out of Sterling for maybe four and a half rounds, something close to that. And eventually Sterling's on his butt, getting his ass kicked, and then he gets kneed in that and uh eventually sterling's like on his butt getting his ass kicked and then he gets kneed in the head right am i right on this yeah so then the guy who just beat the tar out of him all this time is disqualified and the guy who was clearly going to lose is now the champion yeah and everyone's shitting on right everyone's shitting on him and he's trolling right he's like, I'm obviously the champ. I beat that guy

fair and square. That guy's not in my league, etc. I love it. I fucking love it. He knows what happened in that fight. He's seen the tape. It wasn't going his way. Then they do a rematch and you expect it to go the way the first one did. 100%.

I would have bet so much money that Piotr would have won. That was a shock. I would have thought the same thing about the the rose fight and i thought the same thing about um um what's the most recent one that i it's not coming to mind you're thinking of maybe but she won the rematch right oh my god losing that first fight it was like watching a fixed fight it's what it felt like. She gave up her back at the end. It looked like a fixed fight because it just didn't make any sense. And then her coming back

and trouncing her, like almost... What were the odds on that fight? Can we look that up? Was it like 1,200? Probably insane. Was that the biggest upset in championship history ever? It's got to be one of the biggest ones like sarah versus gsp the odds probably weren't that lopsided like like this is absurd it's like the

greatest of all time lost to this week's girl who's gonna take a beating and that's what pena was supposed to do and if anything we were worried about pena's wrestling and sort of a lay and pray kind of uh strategy we definitely didn't think she was going to be in there working the jab effectively for until she just but made her quit almost it was incredible here's what i like so when panya got the belt right everyone is like oh what are you gonna do they're expecting her to dodge fights whatever she's like no just pay me i'll fight get fedor out of retirement i'll fight fedor the greatest heavyweight guy of all time. And maybe the greatest. And she's down.

She just wants to be paid. And she's looking at the calendar saying, I'm 32 years old, maybe. If that's not right, it's really close. And I don't have a long championship reign. This is my time to make money now. Pay me and I'll fight anyone. So they set her up with a rematch with Nunez and she loses, which sounds she loses which sounds terrible right like oh my gosh i hope she made her money on that fight she's due for a trilogy she's beaten her they've beaten there's a trilogy thing here

yeah no one else is getting who else wants to fight nunez? Is there anyone else lining up? Not many people are volunteering. I don't do it. I'll do it. I would do it for clout. I would do it for clout. I would do it for money. I'll hop in there. I would if you changed my tune. I would absolutely fight Amanda Nunez. I didn't say I'm going to win or anything.

What a training style. Has that man been focused on his left leg for all 12 weeks of camp? He jumped 12 feet in the air. You start off just boing, boing, boing, boing. Look at the pogo go. He's checked Amanda's leg exploded

when Woody checked that kick. I've never seen anything like it. Her leg wrapped around his twice and then he just tore it off her body. Jumping axe kicks. Yeah, if she gets the trilogy fight, that's the payday we've been looking for. I hope she gets it. Yeah, that'd be exciting.

I don't care about either of them, really. I heard that Rose wants to step up and fight Shevchenko for some reason, and that seems like the worst possible. The only worse idea is stepping up another notch and fighting Nunez. She's not big enough and strong enough to fight Valentina. And she just lost at her weight. What is she thinking? I wish Valentina would be my wife, bro.

She's like so ideal. Yeah, right? She's like if you were going to have a contest, like say the world was going to end and we need like 16 women and 16 men to go in the space capsule or whatever she's gonna be in that group of women right yeah she has to be she's like the optimist prime multiple languages weapons training like the combat training uh i think she has a pretty extensive education it's it's really impressive no she's so dancing too i don't know if you count that but it's cool i have wet dreams where she breaks my clavicle in an omniplata sorry woody if you were to stock a space capsule right and try to like start a new human population

yeah would your male female ratio be 50 50 or do you not just need like eight guys and 24 women uh there is an ideal ratio. And there's some show where this was like talked about where I can't remember what it was. Combusters. Like a legitimate show where they were talking about this. Oh, it was a Star Trek episode where they're – A legitimate show where they dove into this. It wasn't National Geographic.

I'm not talking about nonfiction. I'm talking about someone thought it out and figured out what the most ideal genetic ratio would be if you're trying to start a civilization over. There was a Star Trek episode and they were like, you guys may have to kind of change your mind about how many wives a husband can have. And the guy's like, oh, really? Two women are like, yeah, really? He's like, I think we could work on that.

Yeah, okay. It's great, but you definitely need more women than men. I could go both ways on that. It depends, I guess, what the problem statement is where you land. I see what I did. He's gay.

On one hand, at first i thought of reproducing right i want like 30 women and two guys right whatever okay that's a big ratio but work with me but now you only have two men like men are good for things other than sex they're they're also really good at like building structures and they're good at like chopping down trees and fishing and who knows what so keeping in mind that there's like more to a society than just reproducing what's the ratio do you even want okay well in that scenario i think you want an even ratio of couples who are like engineers and scientists right and you want them like looking over some sort of embryo storage situation because starting with 16 people is not a good idea

to begin with if we're really trying to start a new human race we're gonna need a whole bunch of like embryos and bags like 10 10 000 of them that we're just hatching out and raising with ai and stuff and populating this new planet we're not gonna do this old-fashioned way jesus yeah i i feel like you kind of broke we're traveling to a traveling to a new star. We're not fucking our way to a new... This is more of an alone the TV show scenario. We're going to restart the human race. How? Bend over. No, no, no.

I've had a better idea. I mean, maybe later, but... You can't make a baby that way. IRL reruns of Naked and Afraid. How was the piss, Taylor? Was it good? Is that what you did? Yeah, I had a piss.

Grabbed another Diet Pepsi. Talked to my wife for a second. Pet my dogs. Do you guys all have wives? No, not Kyle. Okay. How is it, Woody and Taylor, having a wife and not being a lonesome traveler such as myself it's nice it's not being it's nice not being a lonesome person yeah having having someone around

to you really care about and are very close to and want to spend a lot of time with is great you need a really great to support you i love it oh yeah i i really really like being i'm looking to get like a foreign lady pregnant and have an anchor baby for me. One of those cool countries that's doing really well off in Europe. I'm working on that.

You're just workshopping a total life collapse. Well, for her. I will flourish. Elon Musk has like nine babies. I'm making that up if I'm not right. It's more, I think. I bet more.

Jesus. But I don't feel like he's not. No one's saying he's a deadbeat dad. He is paying child support for all these babies. And he believes that reproducing is just a thing that... Well, are they all from different women? If there's nine babies, there's like seven women or something.

Damn. Four wives. Are you sure you mean four wives? Some of them aren't wives. They're like co-workers. Can you really love ten children at the same time adequately? Absolutely not. He's not claiming to love 10 children he's just claiming to be financially responsible for 10 children dude i think it's great i think it's great um i i think

that that that everyone would do that if you could afford there's only two different kinds of people who have 10 fucking kids really poor people and really rich people. That's a fact. That's really brilliant. I can't poke a hole in that. There is no middle class person with 11 children in the club. They would have phased themselves down into poverty. Although there are those octomom situations, but hell, they make movies and TV shows

about those aberrations. Who's going to pay for all these kids? And that was more because they were doing in vitro and they're like well eight for eight we usually it's like one for eight sorry about that like and you know what the background of that really is that the doctor was like all right ma'am you have eight fertilized eggs and she was like oh god no it's like oh don't worry ma'am you know pick the top two and we'll go with those. Wait, that's abortion.

Well, ma'am, we've been pumping you full of hormone drugs for weeks. We've been inserting. We've been doing microsurgery on your pussy. None of this is natural. Well, no, we're having all eight of them. And we're getting a TLC show. I'm sure TLC was on the line with them as soon as the news the doctor's like i have interesting news and a producer from tlc there's so many decent women

out there who were like yeah i wanted one pick the big one and we'll keep that you know like a normal person would pick the big one like it's a pumpkin pick the one that looks the the least like a fucking loser or whatever, and we'll go with that one. Have you guys ever heard of... Sorry. Oh, no, I was saying I would have all eight kids, and then do the evaluation. No, no, I would freeze them.

And then you get an actual vision of what's the best-looking kid. I would... What if you could do this? Because this is what I would actually want. Like, if I was an Elon Musk-type character, I would do that. We get the lady that we've chosen to procreate with. We get her like hyper ovulating and we make the eight embryos.

And then we just free, we get them all. And we insert all eight of them into different women so that all of my children can be born at the same time. Because no woman's going to take eight at once. And it'd be cooler to like have the eight births at different times. You don't want to do a mega birthday, even if you are a billionaire, right? And then I can have eight little workers, and they're all going to school together, tutoring each other. We have a classroom where they're learning to be the leaders of my companies in the future. And the birthing pod situation is inside an amazon

distribution center and so they don't know a world exists outside of the amazon distribution center i don't know why we're doing that that you know that well because all these because you hear all these problems people are like oh amazon's abusing me oh people are killing themselves oh they have little uh mental health booths that are hellish and if you were if you were a billionaire how would you raise your children would you want them completely uh like insulated and isolated from just the bullshit of the the real world or would you want to do what you see some guys do and that's like hey your trust fund runs out when you graduate you know college i'd be i'd be interested in a little nature versus nurture test so i'd have twins one of them spoil the shit out of the other

one cut loose kind of see what that creates can you have a third child that's like raised by dogs i can have hundreds of children the third child will have a strict regimen of horse blood and press-ups yeah one of my children lives in a white windowless room his entire life with nothing but a functional trainer and protein powder and blood yeah and we just see what we can do create an absolutely bank cds yeah that's awesome i wanted to ask you guys i wanted i wanted to bring this up on this podcast because it's like such a weird niche uh group it's called the the tlc uh tuggers convention It's held in Atlanta every year. Have you ever heard of it, Kyle?

I see you wincing. When I heard there was a Tuggers Convention, it just sounded like a masturbation expo. Actually, tell me more about this. Essentially. It's the video I was most excited to do this year, but I'm not going to be able to do it, so I'm having Jet Neptune fly to Atlanta and co-host the episode or guest host it. The TLC Tugger Convention is a convention held by people who've been circumcised and they're devastated by the circumcision because it supposedly is like bad for your dick.

You have less nerve endings, less pleasure. So they strap this like apparatus up to their dick skin and continually stretch their dick skin to try to simulate a circumcised, a non-circumcised penis. And yeah, their dick skin to try to simulate a circumcised i've heard a non-circumcised penis and yeah they have not had adequate uh coverage online on the internet and i'm going to do an episode about them and it's going to be groundbreaking at least in my own little world have you given it a go yet have you tried the tlc tugger no no this looks this looks really scary i would like

to try it yeah it looks terrible it's like it's like a cone for your dog but for your dick i'm honestly kind of struggling to like imagine how it works right now do you here here's a link to a lot of penises using it the guy yeah that's what i'm looking for it's on their website the creator of it has a bunch of videos of him using it no thanks it really stretches your dick. It really stretches it. Look at this. They put it on their dick,

and then they strap a strap to the end of it and wrap that strap around their knee like they have a problem with their meniscus or something. And it's pulling their dick skin down. This is a horrible way to go through life. Yeah. Well, wait a minute. This looks like it might stretch your dick skin down. This is a horrible way to go through life. Yeah. Well, wait a minute. This looks like it might stretch your dick.

It does stretch your dick. Check this out. The founder of it is so passionate about it. So asking for a friend, how much longer does it make your dick? I don't know. Let's start a regimen. We'll do an experiment. Test the hypothesis.

But yeah, the guy makes music about growing his foreskin back. He literally makes music about stretching his dick dick it's so fascinating to me it's not that not that often anymore you find like some weird niche internet thing that you've never heard of and blows your mind this isn't this is like i've like i've taken guff because i'm like anti-circumcision i think it's a bad thing to Cut off the skin of newborns Genitals but If it's been done to you Like Like come on

Cosmetic surgery and go on with an Attractive you thank your lucky fucking Stars That you don't look like a fucking immigrant With your with your weird See that you know it's the funniest thing you've ever Said about it with your weird turtleneck pillow chick. You know it's true. That's the funniest thing you've ever said about it. So you don't look like a fucking immigrant.

America's dick is cut. It's more of a status. You all know it is. You know Captain America was cut. I've got a first world penis. Thank you very much. That's right. don't you show me no third world fucking cock I don't want to see it I know Woody's got this

I know Woody's got this link open Kyle did you open the link no of course not no no come on open it and look at this it's hilarious come on look at the setup 42 months that looks like a real forest game to me yeah that almost the bottom of this looks bizarre

because that does... That looks almost fake. Look at that. Look at the strap. Oh, my goodness. Oh, no. Yeah. Dude, how funny would it be if next week, if I had that strap leading from my pants,

I would be hopping to the bathroom. That would be hilarious. Oh, I forgot it was on my hopping leg. Tore my dick off. Why would you put it on your hopping leg? You have an inactive leg to use. Did we give out the website? TICTugger.com

T-I-R-L. T-L-C-T-L-C. Oh, I'm sorry. It looked like an eye to me. That's some shocking material that I'm doing there. If that eye to me. That's some shocking material that I'm doing there. If that is real, that's some shocking material. It's so good. I know not all of you

are going to go to the website, but just so you know, this guy invented some kind of a weird fucking plastic gizmo that gave himself an uncut dick. He stretched his dick. It must have been so painful. That's how you know this man is insane. This is so not worth it. Not at all.

This sucks. 22 weeks of stretching his dick. Look at this part of the page. We recommend wearing tension 8 to 12 hours a day. Dedicate yourself. 12 hours a day. You have to have your dick in this torture

machine easy that's that's like part of my sleep schedule lately and oh fuck that dude if you wish you were uncircumcised you just gotta cut your losses and just just here's a good question for you brandon here's a good question because because i bet he's gonna have a really wacky answer for this ask him what he think he thinks his life would have been like if he hadn't been circumcised at birth. And I bet you he's going to have a whole thing. He's going to be, oh, man, things would have been different, let me tell you. His eyes light up and he looks into the distance.

He's like, oh, man. Oh, man. Well, aside from being an immigrant. I'm so happy you asked. I'm really excited to. Well, I'm not going to be there, but Jet Neptune is going to be there. I'm excited to see and talk to these people. Of course.

12 hours a day. It's like I have a job. Why are they doing it during the daytime? That's what it. Oh, I can. You can sleep in this. You can have it in your pants. It'd be sleep in this there's no way you can have it in that it'd be so uncomfortable yeah there's no you can sleep let me strap it to their bed if you

started running wouldn't it just rip your fucking dick off probably what if i'm in a car accident i gotta try one out i'm so excited to talk to them because it's not a joke they're serious they're like they're like very serious and passionate oh yeah if you wear this for 12 hours a day you're serious as a fuck. The guy on the website wore it for 42 months, and his dick doesn't look longer at all. Dude, the kind of person who wears this for 12 hours a day is not in ISIS by happenstance of birth. These are extremists. These are extremist people.

They would be in a monastery 700 years ago. Let me ask you a legitimate question here. Let's say you're not you, you don't, you don't, you're not on the show. So there's no worry about that. Um, but, but how much would they have to pay you to model for them? Like, like, like, like Taylor, we've looked at your penis, the photos that you've sent us and it is an ideal TLC tugger candidate. We noticed that there's that you have a very girthy and thick-skinned

penis. You have so much extra skin there already. You're halfway there. We think in one year of wearing the tugger, you're going to look like all natural. What's the money? What's the money? What's my money looking

at? That's what we're asking you, Taylor. You write that number on a piece of paper and you slide it right across to Mr. Tiltugger. Okay, my first question is like, I need to imagine how much money can this company possibly be making?

Well, that's up to you, Taylor. What can I ask? If I ask for a one-day photo shoot, $100,000. No, no, no. no we're gonna be taking pictures every week for 12 months yeah gotta track your progress buster yeah well like will they come to my house no you can take the pictures we'll we'll we'll help you out with the okay like this is so i could do all this from home and just get a picture of my dick in the machine and i and i okay uh honestly like 200 grand and i'll do that all year well go fuck and just take a picture of my dick in the machine. Okay. Honestly, like $200,000. And I'll do that all year.

Well, go fuck yourself. We found a homeless man that'll do it for $50. Yeah, but his penis sucks. Yeah, he doesn't have Taylor Scott penis. We just set that up. Jesus Christ, $200,000. That's an enormous amount of money. Well, I was thinking I'm going to be really popularizing it,

and I don't want to be left in the dust. I don't want to be the guy who voiced the voice of Dr. Pepper before they got big and only made $20,000. I feel like Taylor's foreskin creation process could be a PKA tentpole topic. It could be, and every week I'd be like, my dick hurts. It hurts so much all the time. It's bruising have you know have you noticed that taylor hasn't made a joke in four months wincing in pain i've traveled i started going down the road and now i feel like i need to finish it but i'm unbelievably depressed in my dick no like that's probably what it would be that's a bizarre product it is one of the most bizarre

products i've ever heard of. Yeah. Thank you for exposing me to that. Hell yeah. They got a nice website for what they're doing. No, I'm excited for that. I'm only 90% sure that that's a legitimate website and it's not like a gag. Like a 4chan fucking...

Yeah, there's a 10% chance that someone made that website and that product and it's all just a big gag or something. I always go back to the miniature giraffes that you... Those designer mini giraffes that you were going to be able to buy. What does TLC mean? Tender Loving Hair, I guess.

None of this looked like that. No. It should be called the Brutal Tugger. none of this looked like that yeah no it should be called the brutal tugger imagine yeah stretching your dick like that I would just feel guilty like some amount of shame doing that to my penis you'd be like sitting there and be like

oh I gotta sit down for 8 more hours for my dick regimen and like you just life would be passing you by maybe I'm crazy but like my biggest concern about that thing is if i if i needed to like let's say i spill coffee on my lap or something i need to jump up suddenly or whatever i don't know i guess someone jumps around the corner and spooks me if i move my leg in an athletic kind of way let's just say like what he just did do i rip my dick off yeah you, you de-cheat your dick. Fuck that shit, dude.

If you de-glove your dick, you got bigger fucking problems than uncut or cut, dude. Yeah. That's the ultimate circumcision, right? Uh-huh. The fact that it has to be stretched the whole time, like constant under tension. Think about, like that's 24 seconds.

Like an African tribesman. And here's my bet. I bet that if I like touch that thing, if I flick it, it like goes back to normal. I bet that it's like, hold, hold fucking glue under there to make that skin sit there like that.

There's no fucking way he'd stretched it. And now it just goes like, that's how I would believe I'd tie my dog's leash to it at the park. That's a good idea. A kite, a fucking kite. I'd tie my dog's leash to it at the park. Yeah. Have that in the fucking pool. That's a good idea. A fucking kite. Get back here, Fozzie!

Get your fucking heads behind your head. Oh, Jesus Christ. I want to ask them if they regret it. I want to ask them if it's been worth it. I just want to pick their brain because it's so fascinating. I guess they feel like they were mutilated at birth or something like that and they're missing a part of their body they definitely were it's not nor it's not a normal thing it's a religious thing my mother

told me once that my uh my paternal grandmother specifically asked that i not get circumcised for i guess i guess in like the hospital in the room there was maybe that was being discussed. Oh, they're, they're going to circumcise him now or whatever. And, and apparently she spoke up and was like, no, leave his dick alone. And my mom's like, thankfully I was there. And I remember, I don't know if I thanked my mother. Thankfully I told the doctor to take a knife to your child. I definitely was like, yeah. Thankfully, the voice of reason was there, and I instructed the doctor to strap you to the crucifix and then perform the genital surgery.

Yes. Is there a crucifix involved? Because I kind of think there might be. They literally strap the baby into a thing and then, you know, cut the... They call it a rape stand. That's terrible. It's so... so it's like obviously it's the exact same apparatus you're kind of bent over uh head uh head below ass and then they can

really get the penis from behind i don't know why they do it that way what kind of person wants to cut the skin of a baby's penis for a doctor who's doing what you told. Literally only someone who thinks God told them to is someone who would invent that. The only way someone does something that heinous to a child after birth is and it's normalized. Oh, that was religion. Oh, you're silly. If you think the first circumcision was done on a baby. Oh, well, it was obviously on Abraham. I'm not saying it was literally on abraham at the

behest of a real god but i am saying that the first person that got circumcised was an adult man who was making a point and i bet everybody fucking got it all right you know what if you're if you're in my tribe if we're if we're fucking shepherds and fucking Mesopotamia and God is a real thing in our lives that we all believe in, and you show up and you say, I spoke to God, like for realsie. He came down. I made a pact. He said I had to do this. He's got jeans on in this scenario.

This is my pact with God Almighty. First of all, nobody's calling bullshit because nobody thinks you did that to yourself for the hell of it we're like yeah the only reason you ever would have done that to yourself is if god told you to do it yeah i believe you what now what now sir well y'all gotta do it fuck could he come down and tell me himself i would not i would not take it on that guy's word because you want me to take this that's oh you want me to take this straight to god josiah was it yeah we write back to wait hang on give me that knife i don't know you can't take that to God. I guarantee Abraham

was sticking Abraham's word for it. Abraham circumcised himself at the age of 80 using a hatchet? And those times you lived up long. And hatchet could be anything. Is this set? You know how you know this is bullshit? You know how you know this is bullshit?

Abraham went into his tent alone and went i need this knife he went in behind closed the tent flaps and then he goes ah oh oh ah oh my dick's kidding oh no ah and then he cuts his finger comes out there with some blood on there tells the next guy to do it they weren't checking he was just seeing how much control he had over those people no they wore a necklace sociopath they wore a necklace of them no they use them into face creams for gwyneth paltrow you know that's my favorite part of that viking show when when they show back the funny one um and they they show back up home and the woman has a necklace and that's completely made of the four skins of catholic priests

like her whole or her whole necklace is just... Maybe it's just whole dicks. I think that's what it was. Yeah. That was not a cool necklace. I mean, we know they used to... They'd put noses, they'd put ears on there. We've discussed before how ears is a little unfair because you could double up. You'd have to get close to someone wearing ears

to be like, wait a minute, they're right and left ears. That's a lot of... You got both ears on yeah unfair what would you wear around your neck to inspire fear i mean penises is i think fingers is really good because you could you could always you could make them match you know if you want to do like a necklace that was like symmetrical so that maybe the short fingers were out around the edges or the periphery and as you got down to the center they got longer well it'd be easy to mix and match because you're not going to have all men you know so so you could do like some men's pinky fingers next to a child's biggest

finger and they kind of match up enough that you could do the necklace like that hmm that would inspire you can paint the nails i bet they preserve really well too you dry a finger out And you can paint the nails. I bet they preserve really well, too. You dry a finger out. Keep it in salt for like eight days. I'm guessing. Never thought about that.

War was horrible back before. Well, I guess it's horrible with guns. But before guns, good God, it seems horrible. Like eye to eye with someone, you got a knife and you got to hope like you don't get caught by a stray bolt or something horrible yeah i was watching a youtube video about the uh about like slings throughout history and i can't remember the name of these like slingers but they were showing the projectiles that they would throw they kind of look like flying saucers in a way like like that shape of like a piece of lead or stone and they go so goddamn fast they were making huge holes in like wood and fucking helmets up with them they can really

sling those things hard I think that would have been a big part of ancient battles would just be a spray of those things the whole time I would hate to have to fight it would suck you know what it would be good to be the sling guy in the back with just a satchel

full of rocks oh yeah If I can be a longbow man, or if I can operate a catapult, anything like that, that's my gig. Do you think those catapult guys always get fucked up? I don't know. I don't know if that's like a preferred occupation

or if it's like... I don't know. That's a cool historian question that I'd like to know because there have to be preferred things to do on a battlefield. Archer seems like a good one to me. You're literally protected the whole time. They treat you like they're glass cannon. You're more valuable.

I don't know if actual war was like it is on TV where you see 300 guys from either side clashing. Who would want to be in the front of that that just seems like certain death how do the people in the front get out alive they don't largely like you have vanguard like shock troops i remember in uh just to throw it back to braveheart where they're worried about like oh we're gonna have so many losses and he's like send the irish like he he knew the irish were gonna get fucked but he didn't care that's why he just send them in like it's an it's a foregone conclusion that they will die you know we don't mind so like so much of ancient warfare would

have been like oh no i'm in the get fucked and by time block like i'm gonna die and if i turn around and flee i'm gonna die Jesus, the amount of suffering and fear that every one of our ancestors had to go through is just, except for us. I mean, look, even back, like, right before I was born, it was, you know, it was the Cold War. We haven't really had anything rough since then. Like, 9-11 and terrorism was scary,

but in retrospect, it was a small-ish thing as far as, like, there was no reason for men and women to cower in their homes because Osama bin Laden was going to come and get them. You weren't worried about that. You were worried about the next bad thing that was going to happen, but you probably didn't think you were going to be directly hurt by terrorism. Maybe you could say since there's been a draft, it hasn't been so bad. I think since the Soviet Union fell, it hasn't been scary. Without a draft,

everything happens over there. When did the draft get next? Vietnam was the last one. Did they I don't know. I'm just wondering how they like said no more selective service. Was there, I don't think it's still allowed. Yeah.

They can just decide to like turn it back on again. They could turn it back on. Yes. Is that a presidential thing or a congressional thing? I don't know. I'd like to know, wouldn't you? It's important. Because I trust Congress with that that say what you want about

congress but i don't think they'll all get together and decide to do something crazy um i really don't uh but but i think one person could absolutely be like yeah let's round up some troops show those ruskies who's boss yeah i watched the movie last night um for some reason it's immediately on hulu it's called prey Prey. It's the newest Predator movie. It's set 300 years in the past. It's like 1715, and a Comanche warrior girl is fighting the Predator. And she's like, I don't know, it's kind of like one of those old Disney cartoons where she's the girl who wants to be the hunter, but they say,

girls can't be hunters, and so she's that character. but they say girls can't be hunters and so she's that character um if you can if you don't mind that she's a little bit overpowered for a small comanche warrior girl then it'll be a really fun movie for you i thought it was great um because it's 300 years in the past even the predators technology is a little bit behind what we'd normally see don't get me wrong he's still fucking invisible and has laser targeting but now instead of an energy cannon he's got like a uh this thing that shoots these little projectiles like like like through like gravity projection or something they like i don't know it's like it's like it's like his version of that they have bows and arrows it's it's the predator version of like a bow and

arrow i would say that um and uh you get it gets right to the fucking point there's no fat on this movie at all we're like it's like hi i'm warrior girl hi i'm predator hi i'm warrior girl's brother and we're the tribes people and we are the french trappers all right go kill each other kill each other now yeah now you kill her and it's just death and mayhem for maybe 90 minutes it was a good I watched it last night and dug it I liked it a lot I think it's the best predator movie in

a really long time I like predators with Adrian Brody but Adrian Brody is not in actions it's more believable that that little girl can beat up a predator than Adrian fucking Brody I like Adrian Brody I like it too but he's not a tough guy he's a fake one that has an alternative space travel like where the russians beat us to the moon what is it called

the for all mankind the best show on tv currently yeah yeah i i started watching it after pkn which is just two days ago and i'm like eight episodes in and it is living up to the hype loving the show it's tremendous it is so tremendous and uh gordo's wife is so fucking hot karen karen is she got wait no gordo has huge tits gordo's wife is uh is the blonde that's an astronaut the blonde that yeah yeah no no karen is um the other guy's wife, the brunette. Oh, you're right. I'm talking about the blonde. The blonde has gigantic titties. Titties are so good. They're all going to be big in the future.

He looks like Lola Bunny from the original Michael Jordan Space Jam. The sexy one. Not that new PC woke-ass flat-chested, flat-ass one. They made the bunny look like a real basketball player

i don't know they didn't make her look as hot they didn't make you know that she wasn't as busty taylor how did you not notice that's pretty offensive it offended me sickening you're you're undermining the millions of boys in the late 90s who were but it was weird though they had the characters from clockwork orange in that movie at the same time. And they're literally like murdering rapists. Yeah. Wait, they have a throwback to Clockwork Orange? They're in the crowd watching the basketball game.

Drinking milk? The one on the right looks like fucked up. Her eyes are all swimming. It looks like Weinstein has slipped her a little something. She's off his ass. Yeah, she's got the Bill Cosby cocktail. I follow basketball, but I don't know what the arm sleeve is for.

It's a shooter sleeve. Is it a way to make sure you're less sweaty on your hands? It keeps your precision. It's science. Simple science. Is it to add more resistance? It looks cool. I have no idea.

The fabrics, the linens. I know this about neoprene socks. They don't actually support your ankle or knee. They just make, they give your body like a feedback loop that helps it understand its position. That's the idea. Zach says it's to maintain heat so you don't tear ligaments. I thought maybe it worked like a neoprene sleeve did. I thought it was mostly like a signaling way to the people around you of like,

I'm injured, and it's like, that guy's injured. I don't think it actually did much. It's like the condoms don't actually work. It's just like a deep state. For All Mankind is my favorite new show. It's on Apple TV, and the premise is that the Soviets beat us to the moon by like a couple of weeks. And that is a huge culture shock for both the United States and for the Soviets. And so the space race then continues decade after decade. And because of the space

race, technology advances about 10 years faster than it normally would. You start seeing cell phones in 91, 92. You start seeing iPads same time, 91 or 92. You start seeing video conferencing with Reagan. Reagan's coming to you live from a fucking tube TV that they wheel around the room.

It's deep-faked Reagan talking to the characters. They do a pretty good job of all that like like because presidents are i wouldn't say they're characters in the show but they're um they're they're parts of the show like like nixon especially he's he's the president at the beginning of the show and he's he is nixon he's a piece of shit and when he loses the space race he's like what kind of chicken shit operation are y'all running over there? He's trying to kick some ass.

Do they do a good job with Nixon? You don't see Nixon. No, you hear Nixon. I think you see him. I think you do. And he looks great to me. Have you guys noticed with Nixon more than other presidents, when they're in a movie,

he looks more like Nixon than Nixon did. They turn him into a caricature. Yeah, he's a total caricature. So what they've done here, my guess, is they've taken, you know, there's tons of actual recordings of Nixon. So they're taking real recordings of the presidents and real clips of them. And they're talking about relative things, you know, like the Soviet Union. There's plenty of recordings of Nixon talking about the Soviet Union and being mad that they did a thing. So they just slip that in there and make it seem like he's complaining about the Soviets doing the thing that the show made up.

It's not like Olivia Soprano, though, right? No, no, no. I can't believe how bad that scene is on rewatch you know what they do fuck up on and and i hate when shows do this whenever a character picks up a photo that's like in an office and it's like them when they were younger or like back in uniform and it's they're obviously it can't really be them because this the actor's 70 and this is supposed to be him at 25 in a flight suit and that just doesn't exist but they make it look so bad you're like dude i could have done better it's like the george costanza like on the beach yeah it looks so terrible that it actually takes you out of it i highly recommend the show though

people die in the show um it's it's sad sometimes i hope i've seen one death and it's not a main character every time a rocket launch i love it when they kill my favorite characters it shows me a commitment to surprise it like you know there's i don't want to over spoil it how would you tell me apollo 15 i was hoping it would. I was hoping it would explode like the challenge you did on the way up. Why? Because those are characters that you've spent eight episodes building for me. How many main characters would you say there are? Main? Who you would consider your guys.

It's a little Game of Thrones-y where it's hard to tell. Who is the main character little Game of Thrones where it's hard to tell like who is the main character of Game of Thrones there are like there's one I only asked because I was going to say who like lowered the woman in the moon hole that guy

is maybe the mainest character but I bet it shifts and I like that there's a good 8, 12 main people yeah I like that there's a good 8-12 main people yeah I would say there's about 6 or 8 main characters that I really care about and if they died it's a big deal and

half of them die like a lot of people die it's rough a few times the special effects, the toward the ends of the seasons i guess i would say um things get crazy because that's when they try to do the big thing they've been planning all year um but uh but no i really like the show i highly recommend

it i like uh i don't think i have any complaints um i really like how they handled um like the special effects like the way that they, I don't know when they're, when they're like doing a moonwalk or something, or the way the technology advances is the thing that bums me out though, because it's like, man, I want to live in their world where, where, where we kept advancing and, uh, and, and, you know, like developing tech, all these new technologies to try to keep pace with the Russians technologically, because it's like, OK, we need a habitat on the moon. How do we do that?

Well, the tech that creates that is getting used, the fuel sources and the mining techniques, the resources that are being gathered. The space program is fueling so much consumer technology that it's it's it's that thing, right? Like from the Wright brothers to landing on the moon was 66 years yeah and then i don't know has it been 66 years since then uh maybe 55 years we did what you get iphones and better telescopes we turn dicks into pussies yeah touche all right yeah all right poorly we need to put that attention on space so that we can get, what, better video games? Yeah. I don't know, man. Like, seeing that cell phone in 1992, like, really bummed me out for some reason.

And then, like, I don't think this is a spoiler to say that, you know, the show jumps through the decades. And one of the time periods that they stop in is around 95 and it's like fuck that could have been my 95 like oh shit that's so cool like like they're 90 their version of 1995 looks like i don't better than what we have i think almost 2005 it's it to, um, I don't know. It's really cool to see. I like, I like their, um, their imagining of, of what the future could have been had the space race continued. And one of the, one of the interesting things, another, again, not a plot spoiler, character spoiler, the way that in this universe, the way they've managed to fund NASA is by letting them, um, like patent the things that the technologies that they create,

like being NASA, and license that. So they're taking in $75 billion a year in profit. NASA is. They make money. They no longer take government money. They are sort of their own oligarchy over here that makes $75 billion a year for itself and invests it all into space. Very different from reality.

Very different from reality. Okay. They've got to get their merch game up. I don't think we're going to get another space race with an enemy unless... We'd have to be like a bet kind of thing. If us and Russia were like, this is a space race

the winner whoever does xyz can pirate all ip from the other country you know it has to be so what it would require is um necessity necessity is what's required there so you can sit here and make some sort of gentleman's agreement to race somewhere. But in the end, if it gets too uncomfortable, you're going to stop. But if there was a comet about to hit the planet and kill us in 15 years and we needed technology to move, it would move. Or if suddenly we saw like, holy shit, is that asteroid that's about to pass by Earth in 20 years made of gold? Yes, it is well who's gonna be the one to get up there and fucking bring it into into earth orbit and start sending fucking gold down in a space elevator who's gonna be the first one to grab it and claim it that could happen and it doesn't have to be gold maybe it's some rare earth element like tritium or

or whatever the fuck is valuable i don don't know. Printer ink. If it was made of printer ink, the Soviet Union Vladimir Putin would immediately leave Ukraine. He'd fucking sign up. He'd shake Zelensky's hand and they would work together to get that printer ink. It's like $16,000 a gallon. There's $80 trillion worth of printer

ink in low earth orbit. It's the size of a school bus. It's a whole asteroid of mango jewel pots. The zoomers are taking over the government. Goddamn. Another space race

would be neat. I wanted to give a forewarning. My phone's on 10% and I can't charge it because I have to use the charging port to plug in the headphones. No, that's not what we understand. If I drop out sometime in the next 10 or 15 minutes,

it's not. Just one outlet per person at the hostel. No, on the phone. He can't use his headset and charge at the same time. I have the lightning adapter thing. Unfortunately. Your fellow hostel goers

have been very polite. Yeah, I haven't heard him say anything. Before you go, let's get one. I want to hear one. Kyle's going, I mean, there's definitely someone in there. Yeah, look at that.

Is that it? I don't know. Did he throw something? He did throw something. He throws something and the tallest man you've ever seen comes out of there. Yeah, Milton Chamberlain comes out of there. Heard you were talking about boxing earlier. What you doing, white boy? I like when people call me white boy in providence in uh in kennedy plaza there's like a bunch of homeless people that are super like mean and hostile and they're always

like saying crazy racist shit to us every day it's funny like we'll literally walk by and they'll be like can i have a dollar and we'll be like oh no i'm sorry and they'll be like are you piece of shit white boy it's like what the fuck it's like every day i'm not giving you a dollar next time because there's this black guy named jason in kennedy plaza providence he's such a dick jason if you're watching this fuck you every day his next boxing opponent jason giving me a a hard time. What a dick. It's really funny. He wants some. Yeah. He's a real...

Is Jason... Is he a scary homeless or a crazy? He's a crackhead. I guess it could be both. Okay. You could take him. Why are you taking shit from this guy? I don't know.

I'm not like... My gut instinct when someone's mean to me is not like to attack, especially when they're homeless and have like rotten teeth. Yeah. He's going to give you hepatitis. He's been begging for it, though, for sure. You don't want to hit somebody, though.

You know better than anybody how badly that can go, but I'll tell you. He'll get his legal representation involved? Exactly. You don't want him pressing charges. He might have some pull downtown, you never know. You've got a milk jug of liquid heroin right there okay well woody had this little issue where a dog was like chasing uh him when he was

trying to take his garbage out and i was like ah you don't want to shoot that dog uh who knows a ricochet hit a fucking neighbor then where are we or maybe that's a prized coonhound or something we're out five grand in court spray that motherfucker with pepper spray though and nobody can even say a damn thing so that's that's my move oboes fucking anybody who's like trying to sell me bottles of water at intersections oh my god you know what i've started doing preemptive strikes that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying anybody fucking looks at me wrong give them a spritz yeah a friend of mine a paramotor friend uh pepper sprayed a hostile and he got it all on video fuck yeah it was the whole what do you mean uh a hostile person maybe oh have you guys been pepper sprayed yes i'll has i am not yeah when

i was trying to get my youtube channel off the ground, I voluntarily pepper sprayed myself and tried to read Dr. Seuss' One Fish, Two Fish. Me too. I did the same. I got pepper spray and then I tried to shoot targets. I bet your video did better than mine. Mine got like 3,000 views

at age restricted. It did a little bit better. But I bet we both suffered through some nasty shit. I used a stuff called Savor Red, I think better but but um i uh i bet we both suffered through some some nasty shit my used uh savage savor red uh i think is is the pepper spray i used it's uh oc spray which is like i think that's the tear gas stuff is that the cop and then and yeah it's i think i remember it said on the back of the package that it was used by prison guards that was like their claim to like like if it's

strong enough for a prison guard it's strong enough for your wife and I was like ah cool you're damn right it is if it's strong enough for a prison guard it's strong enough for those damn kids in your yard like a Wilford Brimley style guy like I've got

diabetes and it hurts to run so I can take out no goodnicks from a distance with my saber pepper sprayer yeah that's just brutal i i don't i don't like that it looks all flowery and shit some little kid can think it's banaca or something like the one i the one i've always used looks like pepper spray but it's about that size roughly yeah that shit is savage when i pepper sprayed myself for a video i was very confident it was going to do good. And then it didn't. Not worth it at all. Was it as painful as you imagined or worse?

It was fucking horrible, dude. Well, my dad got like two feet from my face or two inches from my face. You're supposed to be like 15 feet back. So like the stray opened my eyelids. Like you can see it in the video. It literally opened my eyelids because it was so powerful. Wow. But yeah, not worth it.

How long were you in pain? how many views did the video make i think right now it's on my channel it probably still only has like 20k views or something you made 40 well minus the cost of pepper spray so yeah 30 dollars so you're in the hole a bit i'm sure you guys didn't hear about this um youtube terminated my entire patreon like YouTube channel for one of my recent videos I went to a porn convention dressed up like a cow and was squirting milk into porn stars mouths in a cow outfit let me ask you this were you like

doing this sort of hand motion while you squirted the milk into their mouths yeah it was like specifically like an erotic supposed to be like a comedic erotic thing it was good and others they played with i watched some yeah they were just like they were into it the girls were really into it i got like and youtube kids on your channel for that um the extended cut that was on patreon yeah they terminated my whole channel that's lame yeah it's really shitty so shout out shout out susan

no no my patreon youtube channel is gone. That's a shame. Yeah, that sucks, bro. YouTube has been on my nuts this past two months. All right. But you were masturbating milk in the girls' mouths, right? I was pushing the boundaries. You know what? Let me tell you.

I should either confirm or deny. It's so hard to do. I do not recall that. I made a video one time where, i guess it's fine to say now because it's been i guess we're well over the statute of limitations but like i had no right to be in that house that i was filming the video and i saw it on the side of the road and and we walked we literally trespassed to get in it and and like made that video um but but but like i made it look like there was like a crack house and it would the the crack dealers no it was cocaine and the but the

dealers were blow up sex dolls who were like positioned around the house and i was like going into the house with my shotgun and like before the video started i was like there's been some drug dealers in my area and we're gonna take them out and uh here we are we're outside the the drug lab and like i'm going and taking out all these uh sex dolls and then i grabbed this bag of like flour or sugar or whatever and like i may have even made a joke that i was like pocketing the drugs or something like some little gag like that and at the end of the video i had an annotation that said i don't know exactly but something like if this video gets 10 000 likes aa12 video something like that because i had that one already made i was about to upload it anyway

i'm like doing these things in a row but uh youtube said that that annotation was that i was doing an aa12 giveaway they're like you're giving away aa12s over there he's an arms dealer and they were threatening to like terminate my channel and i'm like and they they kill the video which ruins the fucking monetization it's it was twenty thousand dollars about that i lost just from them killing the video because the video is going to do you can look at the views of those videos and it's like the one before it did like eight million the one after it did 40 million safe to say this one was going to do 10 million. It's like

$20,000 that they cheat me out of. But that wasn't my biggest concern. It was them wanting to delete the channel because apparently I'm giving away guns. So I have to finally get someone on the phone and have Kitty explain to them with her little British accent These shotguns cost

$20,000 They're only for overseas arms sale to foreign governments. Kyle doesn't have one. No one has one. He would have to be a sheik in Iran to have one. He's misunderstood the annotation entirely. And then finally they were like, oh, okay. But they don't give you your fucking twenty thousand dollars yeah and they don't give you like however many subscribers

would have like funneled in like like it's a it's a stutter step for like the channel and sure and it's just annoying that they took down a funny ass video because i've got an l.e.m. for and i'm shooting sex dolls and i think it's funny that is funny you know what clip of yours is fire there there's a clip of you, uh, you shoot an explosive at a car and the, and the door comes flying off towards you. Yeah.

Everybody likes that one. That clip is great. I feel like that clip wouldn't fly nowadays with their like new guidelines on, um, like promoting dangerous, uh, acts and stuff. I got,

um, I think because of the way I presented things in kind of a jokey silly manner and because because a lot of the times i was doing a a video that was a branded integration with a really big company like ea or um world of tanks or whatever that i don't know it was almost like they treated me the same way they would treat the discovery channel guys or like mythbusters or something like that i think they just i mean I've had conversations with them before where we talked about, look, we got a safety crew here. There's an ambulance standing by. There's a fire truck over there. Not in this instance, for example, but, but, but a lot of times there was. And,

and I think that they let me, uh, for example, Woody got, was trying to make these videos where he microwaved things. Every Tuesday he he was going to microwave something different. And that might sound silly until you consider all the wacky things you can microwave, like maybe a can of spray paint. What will it do? It'll explode. All right? And YouTube kept taking them down because they were dangerous.

And it was like they took Woody's microwaving spray paint video down. I think it might have been the same week that i did that video that you just showed that meme from where i shot a 40 millimeter anti-aircraft gun and blew up a dummy with like 20 pounds of boom in it like come on i had so much trouble with those microwave videos one from youtube does youtube blasting me every week like i was doing something wildly irresponsible i'm a grown man microwaving shotgun shells in my backyard this is america god damn it leave me alone that it like soap soap does interesting stuff it smells really good and it uh it's sort of you know that when it grows much more than you would guess that it grows yeah microwave so it's kind of cool

uh the other thing that got me was the fans i guess there was a microwave series before mine and they felt there was a blunder series under the yeah i remember the there was definitely a microwave series before mine and this guy had like abandoned his microwave series had run full course and he wasn't doing them anymore and he was like woody run with it do your thing like he was cool with it but the fans were like offended clutching their stars and garters on his behalf that someone else dared to tread on microwave videos and uh i didn't know about his videos before i started making mine but the fans felt like i copied the idea that was like back in the day youtube had some some weird norms that everyone just kind of played by. Where they'd be like, you're making money!

Remember when money first started being a thing? But it didn't seem like that lasted long because people started making money when it was a viewer. I remember people being like, this guy's making money playing video games. And quickly people being like, oh, this guy's making money playing video games! This is crap!

People thought it was cool i felt like they hung hang hung on to this like woody a money whore thing way longer like other people were free and clear to do it but not me yeah yeah you had a small but dedicated well probably large but dedicated group of people who really did not like you for the early 2010s youtube yeah now they're all gone they can suck a dick yeah they're all gone tactically eliminated i never had any issue with that because i think people could see that i was spending a decent amount on my videos i don't think they i certainly don't think they they ever were like ah what he only blew up two cars what the fuck like i i tried not to let people down you know as much as i could um But the explosions always got bigger for the most part.

But when I did ask for something like favorites, I'd be like, you know, that was like $500 worth of shit. I just blew up. It'd be cool if y'all favorited this and they would. So we kind of had an agreement like that because I was trying to, I don't know, blow bigger and bigger stuff up. I always wanted to blow up one of those backyard propane tanks. Oh, that'd be cool oh you know that okay but

the problem with that is you might i don't know if you're thinking of how you would blow that up like what you'd shoot it with the problem is you shoot it with a small bullet even a small explosive bullet it just punches a hole in it and then even if it lights the propane it just makes this little hole that makes a like a flame shoot out it. It'd be a little burner there until the whole thing ran out of fuel. But we want to blow the thing apart so that all of that propane. A table saw blade and slice the top of it off. No, no, no. See, that wouldn't be good enough because if we just slice the top off, we're only utilizing however much pressure it's currently under.

We want to hit the thing right in the middle and make it explode. We want the vessel to explode because it's under so much pressure. You need a flaming bowling ball. We need to hit it with like an anti-aircraft gun with an explosive round right in the fucking middle. We need to. We have to. We need to. Kyle, I know you can't operate farms, but I don't know if they have any anti-explosive

things. Can you operate the artillery on a battleship? Maybe, maybe they like overlook that in the felon rule book. I don't, I don't know, but I know where one is. I mean, it might be too much, but, but you'd need to like rupture the thing so that, so that you get all of that fuel vaporized. So you actually get the fireball. They used to shoot those little lawn and garden propane tanks. And you can't make those pop, but you can make those little green ones that you use for stoves and stuff. You can make them absolutely explode. The camping ones, right?

Really dangerous, though, because if you wing them, as it were, like you hit them on the edge, they turn into a little rocket ship like spins like a firecracker and it's like twisted sheet metal that's like coming at you on fire and spinning but you're not the fire doesn't matter but yeah spinning sharp metal it does seem stupid to do just to shoot the the camping one in particular i'm sure that all the eyes would have been dotted and the t's crossed in your canon you know propane video safely you could use that bow for gun right or would that not have worked uh yeah that i mean if i was trying to that that's the perfect thing probably uh i would like to see that that's one thing i wish i had done because i i was always wanting to blow up a big propane tank i'll move i'll move to georgia and i'll be fps belarus

and i'll be your yeah that's perfect you just tell him what to do yes i'm fps belarus i have no autonomy but i pretend to like do you do you miss the fps russia days kyle not really but but but that's one thing, what I just mentioned, that I want to see that. I wonder if anyone's ever done that. I guess it would just be a big fireball, but I don't know. I still want to see it. Yeah.

You can probably put explosives on one. It's cool to have your little internet legendary story, like Etchton Stone, the FPS Russia story. It's pretty badass, I think. I suppose so. It was a really good time when we were doing it. But when I think back on how dangerous some of that stuff was, I would still do it.

But it would be like, oh, fuck. Here we go. Yeah. I was never afraid when i'd blow anything up i wonder if i'd be afraid now i don't know i don't know if i'd be afraid or not but i was never afraid back then um the only time i remember being afraid is um i was blowing up some 55 gallon barrels ion barrels. I just put explosives on the ground, put the barrel on top of the explosives, and I was shooting through the barrel because I knew where the explosives were on the inside. And I thought the barrels were just made out of, you know, those 55-gallon metal barrels. I thought they're just metal, like a thicker Coke can.

But they had some sort of, like, fiberglass banding banding like epoxy layered onto it and you couldn't see that until you blew it up and it started flying everywhere and so that was scary because after the first one went off i saw everything fly everywhere and there's two more and we're rolling and i and i instantly have to make that decision are we gonna be done for the day or are we gonna have to scratch this and move on because I don't have any more barrels? It's not like I can go, let's rethink the barrels. All right, we'll do the barrels.

You can't do that. It's either do it or don't do it. I just kept shooting the barrels and the shit kept flying around us. That was the only time I think I was ever scared because everything else looks scarier than it probably was for the most part. I don't know what.

When I inches from being a live leak video with that, with that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I ever came to actually die. Yeah, for sure.

For sure. Yeah. That's such a wild clip still. Everyone's funny. Like you see somebody post that online. They're like, yeah, this is the most insane thing.

Like, and it's like, Oh hell yeah, that's that's kyle like yeah i'm glad that exists um i don't think my dad's ever seen that i don't think he's he probably wouldn't like it uh-uh no no he hasn't seen most of this because i'll tell him stories about like some of the videos sometimes and he'll be like really huh that's cool i'm like you've never seen that he's like no i'm not watching any of that i i like because he would sit on the hill like on his um like um polaris buggy or what his mule thing and like watch us film and i think that was enough to to get the idea of what was going on because i remember one day we were down there um uh and and like who i think I was dragging one car behind another

and I was in the back of a truck that was towing a car and the car was going crazy and I'm shooting a machine gun out the back and he's up the hill and I just wave at him and he's just like what the fuck are y'all doing down there?

He's like, dad dad this is my job thank you for you and then uh and but my favorite was when my my mom like wanted me to stop she did not like that like it was loud and scary and looked dangerous and also the cops were always getting called uh she didn't like that shit at all. And she's like, do something. And he's like, what do you want me to do? The boy's arm to the teeth. I saw what he did to that fridge. Mom didn't have a sense of humor about that at all. She didn't even chuckle.

Yeah, my parents don't like a lot of my videos either. Do they watch any? Yeah, my parents don't like a lot of my videos either. Do they watch any? Yeah, they do. They express their displeasure at times. What did they not like? Which one did they watch and not care about? They hate the hood ones, like going into the dangerous areas like Jacksonville or Skid Row or O'Block. They hate those.

That's because they're so worried about you. Yeah. Because they think the content is bad yeah yeah but at the same time it's like i feel like i have to do those things because i don't know how else to like you know like one up and make interesting content like because it's such a saturated market and like there's no reason for anyone to give a fuck about anything i do so i try to keep it exciting yeah do your parents object to the escort stuff uh they actually pretty chill about that they let then I feel like they know

me enough to know it's not like some weird uh fucked up thing I'm doing yeah it's a way to get content joke around um my grandparents do not listen to the show my parents don't listen to the show like they never really they my grandma's told me like she knows about the show my grandparents do

and I've all I've And I've been around. I never bring it up to him. But my brothers have been like, do you ever listen to Taylor's show? And my grandma was like, no, you know, I don't even I've heard things you got to say about it. And I don't want to hear my grandson say this. I don't even want to know what you all talk about. Your nasty mouth, Taylor. Yeah.

And my grandpa could not find it if his life depended on it, guaranteed. Like, he still is not a fan of the internet. Like, he got a smartphone a couple years, or no, like a year ago for the first time. He only uses it for solitaire. Like, only solitaire calls and texts. He's just getting texting down, but he's a one-word answer texter because he doesn't know that that's rude. And so you'll be like, how about this and that? No.

Okay. Or, yeah, like my grandma was like, I got him to send his first. This was a couple years ago. I got him a smartphone, and I got him to send his first text. I said, do you mind? We have a Smith's over on this Saturday. We're going to cook for them, have both of them over and their kids. And he sent back, he said no.

And that was his first foray into texting. He's like, yeah, it's great. I got to shoot that right down. Like in the olden days, that would have just happened. Do you mind if this happens? No. He needs to expand on that because I thought that meant he didn't mind.

Yeah, he's very slow at the give him a few more years he'll get it but yeah it is weird when you do stuff on on youtube and like hundreds of thousands of people watch it and like the people in your life you're kind of like well i don't want i don't want you to watch it like i don't yeah i don't want you to know or like people in real life i know this happens to woody and kyle too i'm sure to you we're like going to your friends to someone you don't know will be like, this is Taylor. He does a podcast. And it's like, God damn it, dude.

Like, don't throw me into the sea with that anchor tied to me. Yeah. Because now you have to have a conversation. There you go. People actually listen to it. I promise. Yeah. True.

There's two aspects of it. One is, hey, this is woody he's a professional storyteller sit back and listen to him tell a tale and i'm like motherfucker i don't have anything oh i'd love that come on i would love that it's almost like the scene from super bad right oh you're jimmy's brother the singer yeah! Well, I don't think so. My brother came here from Scottsdale, Arizona. You're not going to sing for him? You sing! And you sing good!

Right now! I'm not going to sing for him. Like Taylor. These eyes. I feel like now I have to explain what I do and try to sell them on the popular podcast and I'm like total loser lame-o. And I'm just like total loser, lame-o. And my friends, of course, think they're getting me new subs one at a time.

Like, oh, now you have 1.2 million and one subs. I hook you up. Dinner's on me. Somebody tells me they do. I remember I was in prison and a guy said his daughter does a podcast. And I immediately imagined a show where no one listens to it ever. I imagined, oh yeah, that's that really sad show that no one listens to where she talks about how you're in prison and you shouldn't be.

Am I right? And he's like, yeah, that's the one. That's the one. Let me write it down so that when you get out, you guys can collaborate. And I'm like, yeah, write it right here on my notebook that other people have written in that i'll never contact again yeah here's duane the pill salesman got all his contact like i got a whole bunch of them a bunch of those guys like signed my fucking yearbook before i left like i was gonna call them or something

hags have a great summer. Yeah. They're signing your yearbook. Yeah, for real. Kyle Myers, class of 21. I wonder if Brandon's battery died. I'm going to say maybe. I'm going to take a gamble and say yeah. Yeah.

Ads? Let's do ads. We'll do some ads while he's doing that. What to say when people ask me. We're losing you a bit, Brandon. When someone asks me what kind of videos I make, he doesn't know what to say. So, Brandon, you're coming in. We're not getting any of your audio,

so I'm going to do the ads real quick. This episode of PKA is brought to you by BetterHelp. This episode of PKA is brought to you by today's sponsor, BetterHelp. So let's hear a little more about their service. Life is full of twists and turns, and it's important for you to show up for yourself through it all. Mental and dental, got to take care of it all. We're very serious about everyone taking care of their physical health here on PKA and maintaining a healthy physique,

but mental health is just as important and you need to work to keep your mind in shape as well as your body. Start getting in the mental reps with the help of a professional over at BetterHelp. BetterHelp is not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional therapy done securely online,

available to people all over the world. It's super simple. You can log into your account anytime and send a message to your therapist. And with ease, you're able to schedule weekly video or phone sessions. Video is not a requirement, by the way. Do what you're comfortable with and take advantage of professional help. That's only a few clicks away. Invest in your mental well-being now and get started with our partner, BetterHelp. well-being now and get started with our partner better help better help they've got a special offer for our listeners saving 10 off your first month over at betterhelp.com pka that's 10 off your first month of online therapy over at betterhelp.com pka support yourself today by heading over there right now and signing up for your first month today once again that is b-e-t-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash PKA for 10% off your first month of online therapy.

I wonder what it costs. Yeah, check that. Well, whatever it costs, 10% off, fellas. 10% less. I want to know. It's like $3. So check out BetterHelp if you guys are interested in that.

This episode of PKA also brought to you by the wonderful people, the wonderful THC connoisseurs over there, the experts, Death by Gummy Bears and Wonky Weeds. Are you or a loved one

sick of mediocre or even bad THC alternatives? I know I am. Well, we've got great news for you. DeathByGummyBears.com and WonkyWeeds.com have you covered. Death By Gummy Bears and Wonky Weeds were founded by a group of passionate professionals who were sick and tired of low quality THC alternative products that are spray coated and very often incorrectly dosed. Huge problem. That's why Death By Gummy Bears and Wonky Weeds had the boys in the lab cook up high-quality, powerful Delta-8 products,

all THC alternative products, that are accurately dosed and actually taste great. Looking for a super-strong 100-milligram Delta-8 gummy that will put you on your ass? Then Death by Gummy Bears is for you. This is the lemony bar flavor. Are you looking for a more mellow relaxing high then the carts disposables pre-rolls and distillates and the lower dosed gummies over at wonky weeds are more your speed so whether you're trying to get absolutely shithoused or just have a nice relaxing night at home we've got the thc alternative product for you with so many

satisfied customers all around the usa american-based wonkyweeds.com and deathbygummybears.com serves all states where hemp-derived THC is legal. So whether you're a current THC enjoyer or just interested in trying something new, go to wonkyweeds.com or deathbygummybears.com and use code PKA20 for 20% off your order. That's a big deal, folks. PKA20 for 20% off your order at either wonkyweeds.com

or deathbygummybears.com. So if you're interested, check them out. I say it every week. If you do not have a tolerance for this stuff, don't be a hero. Don't jump in with a full one of these strong gummies. It's going to be too much. So start slow. I did that just recently.

She took a whole... So like Taylor said, there's two there's the wacky weeds which are for people who are newer to it and this death by gummies stuff which is just good gosh anyway she ate a whole gummy which is not the move for most people and uh really high i i tell you i literally have a had a friend over three weeks ago I had people over I was smoking some meat we were hanging out and he is a big smoker of you know he's got his medical card so he uses regular weed

and he was like I'm good I got a tolerance he popped two of these bad boys and then we were sitting on the couch maybe an hour later and he's like dude I am fucked like he he had not he had had like one beer maybe two beers over the course of a couple hours it was just the weed and he literally he was like he texted his wife and was like i'm ubering home i can't drive i just took two of these gummies i'm

i'm out of i can't i can't possibly so dude don't be a hero yeah if you've been to the gas station or your local smoke shop and you think you know you don't know this is a different thing so start slow or you know the easier thing if you're unsure just grab a delta 8 cart uh they taste good and they work great or if you want something a little stronger the thco or something they just sent me this week that because kyle told me he's like hey I've been trying this HHC one and I think it may be the strongest of the bunch and it I think he's right like

I took a few hits of this the other night yeah super silver haze I you're right this I think this is probably the strongest thing I've tried as well the HHC and it's a it's a nice high feels good so check that out if you guys are interested. PK20 for 20% off either place. And of course

Lock and Load. You heard it from Brandon earlier. He's coming like a geyser. He's absolutely milking himself all over porn stars at conventions to the point they're kicking him out. He's creating certain hazards. It's an insurance thing. Yeah. Strangers and hostiles. Everywhere in there. Sticky and crusty from him.

So Lock and Load. Highest quality, cum enhancing, volume increasing, pleasure inducing, I would say, because the longer you're coming, the longer you're feeling good. So check it out. If you're not on the train yet, listen to Brandon. Makes a world of difference. Code PKA for 10% off or code jizz. And we don't mention this enough if you wanted to use the gorilla mode pre-workout the nitric pre-workout which is the best pre-workout bar none in the market uh use code pka or jizz on derrick's side as well you get 10 off that or anything else there you want uh yeah so check

out uh check out the the fucking weed stuff also what's up gang i think that's all the sponsors oh pretty good man i wish i thought of fps belarus like five years ago oh there was a guy no there was a guy who was always like i can't remember who he was he might have been he literally might have been fps ukraine it was something like that oh really yeah and he was always trying to like start shit with his like 200 view videos it was like you don't know he's like you don't understand we could have this back and forth it really riled people up and i'm like dude this has this is all you and no me like no like why don't you go start a boxing feud with mike tyson like leave me out of it like you got bigger aspirations than me get out of here yeah leave me the fuck alone leave me the fuck alone

can you imagine if there was like eight-year-old footage of you all around going like and another thing about the cowardly ukrainian army these coward bitch like he'd be like i was a bat from nine years ago i think that i used to go after i used to go after yes um and but i had this like silly way of like trying to start trauma with him where like i had a video where i'm like pretending like i'm but i've been parachuted like what country wases from sweden yeah i was like oh i fucking like parachuted behind swedish lines and it's dark and i'm on foot like like you know i'm just being silly i'm not i'm never saying anything mean about tabes at all then he's like a swedish dog or whatever you call him a beet farmer that's as mean as i got. That's how you do that sort of thing.

There's no reason to be mean. I don't think he's on... He dipped out of the whole YouTube. Yeah, he had no interest, and so I left him alone. I didn't pursue him forever. Is he doing anything? I feel like we might have just done the whole, yeah, you know what?

Billy Joel's not making music at all anymore. And he's like, dude, I'm trying. People just don't like it. Oh, I don't't know i don't know what he's still is he like a streamer or a content creator or zach says two months i don't know i remember him being a like a cool guy nice guy yeah yeah he came on the show a couple times did he i i think so uh i was probably doing he was huge like he's still doing content he was like one of the big titans in like 2012. He was. But because he was from a small country, I think he was like a super titan there.

Like a legitimate, actual famous person back in 2010 when nobody was. Or whatever, 2013, something like that. Yeah, I don't know. I thought of him as, I don't know, one of those really famous guys who had sort of transcended our little gaming community. Wasn't he on MTV or something with his music video? Yeah, he had a big music video or something like that.

That was kind of his biggest thing. At the time, I remember watching that video what was it, 2011? 2012? And being like, this is something you'd see on TV. They've got real cameras and there's other people acting like I remember being like blown away that a little YouTube thing was like

head production man you don't realize the good times until you've left them you'll say that about this yeah no yeah we'll do this until one of us dies you'll say that about this yeah no

yeah we'll do this until one of us dies oh yes I'm so glad Woody immediately got my reference oh yeah I know what you did yeah so I'm not completely caught up to speed I know I'm part

of the story yeah so they well you know they went into Donald Trump's house in Mar-a-Lago. Is that what we're talking about? What were you talking about? When I said elephant in the room, what came to your mind? Yeah, Woody, what the hell were you thinking? I haven't seen the video, but I think Wings of Redemption wants to come on PKA. Have you seen the video? Yeah, I saw the video, but I think Wings of Redemption wants to come on PKA. Have you seen the video?

Yeah, I saw the video. Somebody sent it to me over here. I think he did hear somebody. Basically, I think he said he wanted to – I think maybe he said that he had tried to get in contact with us. I have no idea how he made that attempt. Can we jump in on that? Yeah.

He called me. He called me, He called me and I was in the gym lifting at the time. And you have to understand, lifting right now isn't what it used to be. I enjoyed lifting, past tense. Now, my good foot is fucking exhausted.

Imagine hopping around with 45 pound plates, loading them on the squat rack, one-legged. Everything is hard overhead press dumbbells on one leg you've got to sit down god damn it she's gonna sit down athletes exercise standing up so uh i do do some sit down anyway um it it is it is a rough session for me and uh my good my bad leg which sometimes has like some play in the cast just swells up and fills it and it's hot and it's it so uh i get his call and i'm like hoppa

hoppa hoppa over and i miss it i don't get to my phone quickly enough it's sitting in this charger on the dumbbell rack yeah and uh i see that wings called and he sent me a text he's like hey man he didn't tell me what the call was about. Just that he wanted to talk. And in my mind I was like, I'll get back to you after the workout. Like I'm in, it's not you.

It's me. I'm not in a place right now to take any calls. I'm fucked up. And so I intended to call him back sooner. And the last, like if I'm not wrong i'm close like the last four times wings called me it was about like trolls and you know maybe legal type stuff having to do with all trolls and the the stuff that happens with trolls or you know like woody uh if the fbi calls

you for a background check this is what it's in reference to. Shit like that. All the troubles Wings is having with his fan base. That's what Wings and I typically talk about. And I'm like, I have to get back to him. And it is all my fault. I feel like a dick. Suddenly, it's Thursday as we record this. He called me Saturday.

I didn't realize that much time. I thought it was two days in my head. And when I heard his video that it was last week, I was like, ah, well, pretty much Saturday to Thursday, you know?

So, uh, so wings did call me. I meant to call him back. I'm still slow on it. And that's the truth. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I think he wants to come talk to us about, um, I don't know what's happening right now. I think they're like holding his YouTube channel hostage or I don't know what's happening right now. I think they're holding his YouTube channel hostage. I don't know. Maybe something like that. I honestly don't follow...

I only get tidbits when people at me with them. His YouTube and Twitch has been banned. Zach just wrote that in the chat. Oh yeah, because that video I saw was a Twitter stream. He was streaming on Twitter. So he's suspended.

Wait. Account suspension evasion on Twitch. Okay. He says, how was I ban evading? It had nothing to do with my wife's channel there. It wasn't even a stream done on it. Oh, I didn't read it carefully. He has nothing to do with my wife's channel there. It wasn't even a stream done on it. I didn't read it carefully. He has nothing to do with his wife's channel. Twitch is acting like

Wings but really his wife made content and he wasn't on it, I guess. It says she hasn't even streamed on it yet. It's pretty possible that Wings' fan base has false reported him and attacked him.

Hang on. Go back to the tweet about Chef Boyardee. As a kid, I loved Chef Boyardee, but having a can of it lately, it kind of sucks. Anything you guys liked when you were younger and now don't understand the appeal of? That's actually a personable tweet. I like it. I like it, too i like i still like chef you got hot sauce on it i put frank's hot sauce on there because it's just so bland

yeah you do need a little spice there otherwise it's just kind of that mild tomato puree that's barely tomatoes you know how that is what kind of uh what do you like from chef biardi i like the raviolis wait are we just gonna change topics off of wings? We're going to come back. Are we going to take killer already for Chef Boyardee? No, you're right. Let's circle back. I was going to see if you were a beefaroni kind of man, but if that's not important, let's go back to wings. I am a beefaroni man, and we'll circle back to this.

We'll finish wings, and then we'll get back to raviolis. So if I finish my recipe, we'll circle back to Chef Boyardee talk. We've got a four-hour show. Wings and then we'll get back to ravioli. So if I finish my ravioli, you can circle back to Chef Boyardee talk. We got a four-hour show. Wings wants to come on. We talk about it for 85 seconds and then we're talking about ravioli. Now people are like, come on, talk about the Wings. I think people would like to see him on the show. So I guess forever we said we wouldn't because he always said we'd have to pay him $10,000.

And frankly, this is another example of when Wings is doing okay, it's like, don't want anything to do with you people. You couldn't pay me enough. And now here Wings is down and low. Hey, can I come on the show? I'd love to come on the show. I'm down again. And that's what we always do. And I think that's what good people do is when somebody asks politely

and they're down, we help them and just so that I don't feel like a bad person, I guess my vote would be to have him on the show I guess, if he wants to talk about his issues or whatever, I don't know what the fuck he wants to talk about anyway it's not like we can help him

I've been, I'm with where Taylor is. I've always wanted wings on the show. I've been pro. I think this is a show that one, I think it'd be a good show. And two is a little bit fan service. I have no problem with fan service.

Fans want to see wings. I'm down to have wings, whatever you think I do drinking episodes. Cause I think they're good or that I like them. No, it's bad service. Yeah. Back on mission.

Um, I'd love to have wings but like where taylor was going i just need to make sure that it doesn't get our show canceled like band of 80 it looks like his channel's up i just found his youtube channel if you put in jordy jordan you have to scroll down like almost to the end of the first page but it's there there's no content on it everything's gone maybe you want to zach said do you want to do a make that one a live show just for the patrons? And it's too

late to jump in today. That kind of defeats the purpose. We're going to make the worst business decision ever. Only existing patrons get to see it. We can reach no more money

no all jokes aside we could make it some kind of a special loopy doopy kind of show because i think that our oldest fans are the ones who like give the most shits about wings the and uh and i don't know maybe for a fan who like found out i was in prison a couple years ago and came on because of that or if you're a fan of like, you probably fought found Taylor making magic live streams on Twitch. And now you somehow circulated into this nonsense. However, you got here from that. However,

you got here. Maybe everyone likes me making fun of retarded TV shows. Maybe you went to a barbecue. No one was here for the magic streams. Hey, maybe you went to a barbecue with Taylor one time and you're that one awkward guy who, who has been like one at a time to into the audience but i think our oldest fans would

certainly be like holy shit they could get and get the band back together get a bit of a beatles reunion um i always think back to our wing shows as being good because of what we pull out of wings not necessarily what wings brings to the table but that still is a bad argument for not having wings on the show because we're here we can pull things out of wings and and i think now would be a good time to have him because he's actually got a thing to talk about there's been times when it was like would you like to have wings on the show it's like what would he talk about what has happened like the same old same old but this time around i don't know he's gotten married he's had all sorts of weird dramas here and there i don't know if we've married he's had all sorts of weird dramas here and there i don't

know if we've spoken to him in person since the surgery i don't know if we have yeah definitely last time i talked to him is when i played pub g with him and that was before the surgery i think so i've talked to him privately on the phone a couple times yeah that's true and i did a um what was uploaded is like a 1v1 podcast or something like i yeah i don't think i uploaded it but like i did a live stream where wings jumped on it wasn't planned and we talked for over an hour um but i don't know if that was pre or post surgery it was a while back yeah definitely after the new york times thing which was huge to me it doesn't even seem that big like that seems like one of

the minor things um like maybe i'm overvaluing it i don't know i think he overvalues it um but but yeah maybe we could uh could have wings on if you if you guys think that's a good idea sure yeah um i'm in just just need to figure out that it's not going to get like this channel taken yeah as long as he's not like a a person of an undesirable or something right right if he's like the doctor disrespect Disrespect of Twitch, where if you have him, your channel gets taken down. Yeah, yeah. And it's looking like that's not the case. Do you just want wings, or do you want anyone else

from the crew? You don't need the Whack Packers? Get Kenny back on? I'm just saying that if Wings is going to come, we could probably make a few requests. Would you like any of the fucking Whack Pack that's in the wings universe um to just need a random to stroll by in a confederate uniform for no reason like the old days all right that's all right that's my vote as well okay

wings we'd love to have you on let's say the 25th maybe uh but but here's the thing that fellow that had that military uniform on i i'd like him to come on and steal some valor while he wants. Like, randomly. I want him to come in and fucking salute you and fucking snap to and then about face. You tell him to add ease, and then he hands you some, like a hot pocket, and he bounces. Like, something silly like that.

I want him to say on stream, legally speaking, I'm a veteran. Would you want Wings and his wife or just Wings? Just Wings. If Wings' wife came on, I'd want it to be just for a part of the show. You'd like five minutes with Kelly?

It's mostly chatting. Let me ask you this. Would you like to dismiss Wings from the room and have a 1v1 conversation with Kelly, ask her some questions, and then have him come in and do a couples game? Dude, that would be amazing.

Let's do the couples game. You know the highlight guys would edit it together. In very unflattering ways. We can steal the questions from the original couples game no no those aren't the questions i want answered fuck that they're funny they're like all suggestive double entendres and silly stuff that you have fun with yeah i hear you but i'm more into like you know don't say it out loud i keep that one up here okay i love the idea of playing the couples for those of you don't know that's when like you separate the two and you ask them questions you see how their answers match up

right and or or more moreover you'd be like what's woody's favorite dessert and what he's not in the room and jackie has to say fucking coconut cake and wing and woody comes in and he reveals his answer written on a chalkboard and it says fucking rice pudding and it's you didn't know your husband very well like you can have one of those they're fun that would be fun yeah i like this idea well hopefully wings will be down to come on the show yeah i think he said he wasn't how you watched it you saw the video yeah um about it what i you know i i watched it i was getting ready for to do this and i saw someone had added the video to me the twitter thing so i i watched i skipped around but what i took from it

was that he had tried to get in contact with us about coming on the show and and he he didn't really elaborate but i guess he said that he was he was unable to get in contact with us was sort of his yeah he he called and texted me like back to back like when i didn't pick up immediately texted then i was like i gotta get back to him but it was in a bad spot and he didn't say what it was about if i knew that he wanted to be a guest i would have like been all over that yeah sure you missed a call not don't have to feel bad it happens yeah he's a fascinating guy you know um i i i always say he should have his own show his own tv show 100 yeah 100 it would be so good um what you need is is like an a really good producer to know what strings to pull and and like how to shoot that thing and how to get wings to

just be himself and it would be one of the best trash reality shows you've ever seen have you ever seen uh an idiot abroad with carl pilkington of course one of one of the funniest fucking shows out there i love carl pilkington and the moaning of life wings is almost the real version i'm saying it you do a show where you just send wings to the fucking philippines and you do that sort of travel show, that'd be great content. That would be... It would be hard to get him not to quit. You make the... You call it...

You do like planes, trains, and automobiles with Wings of Redemption, and every week he uses one of those modes of transportation. We're going to roll a wheel. Alright, looks like you're taking a train to... And you go to the other board and he has to throw a dart. Lou. Oh,

Tennessee. And it's just like, fuck. And like, now like wings going to take us train to Tennessee to go to the fucking air force museum or whatever the fuck. Or you could send him like whitewater rafting. If you wanted to,

I'd like to see that, but I'm a little farther, like, you know, Siberian railway. Oh yeah. That'll, you know,

passport for that. We can't do that because no we'll have all of them just i don't think it's chicago illinois he was younger than that was yeah yeah of course i'm just having a bit of fun no i i i i i look forward to talking to him um because Zach says he's live do you want to try to get him now? live on what? no let's not do that

do it for real we'll get it right we tell him he's coming this week so they all show up next week for him we don't just surprise them with wings and some of them didn't show up and don't know we wait until they line up then you give them some wings maybe you don't just surprise them with wings and some of them didn't show up and don't know. No. We wait till they line up. You got to tantalize them.

Then you give them some wings. Maybe you don't give them up. Maybe you just give them a little taste of wings next week. Maybe he just, you know, he has his little streams like, yeah, I talked to Woody and Kyle. We're going to do something top secret. I can't say. And then you're all like, what are you going to do? And then another week passes.

That's how you do that shit, Zach. Then we get the wings soundboarded. We're not one at a time and a hit. We're mass communicating. Get the wings down the board and just fake that he's here from here on out. We have a guy who's a $50 patron who looks strikingly like Wings of Redemption. It's wild. And he throws on a green screen that's Wings Room.

And I swear to God, everyone who jumps into the call and everyone who jumps into the call and doesn't already know this gentleman is like holy shit i thought wings was here and the guy's german which makes it even better because he's german wings it's hilarious he has the kind of german accent that if you saw it in a movie you'd be like that's not realistic it's like the most like oldest top german accent you've ever heard. He looks like the evil version of wings who is like intelligent and German. It's like, it's like,

I'd love to see a movie, like another version of the movie twins. And it's just evil German genius wings and our wings, like bumbling their way through some sort of spy shit. Oh, thank God. I hope you through some sort of spy shit. Oh, thank God. I hope you've got a photo of him. Yeah, that's great.

If you do. Yeah. He looks so much like wings so much like it. And he embraces it. Look at that. He's just wings. And he'll sit there with this background and people will be like, are you wings?

And he'll say, no, I'm not. Just to be 100% clear, because I know there's some people who just maybe didn't follow. This is not Wings. This is our fan in the $50 Hangout who just looks tremendously like him.

This is German Wings. German Wings is funny. I like German Wings. A good member of the Hangout. He's got jokes. The Hangouts are fun. I had a good time last week or last time which is two weeks ago yeah i thought we're gonna have more nudity last uh last time but

but um because the time before that she was um she was getting naked again but i like that it always makes taylor very uncomfortable the one that had sex on stream yeah yeah yeah um she hung out naked for a long time she hung out naked for a long time she's naked for a long time she is comfortable naked she is a little more than comfortable being naked she enjoys being naked in front of in front of a bunch of strangers clearly bit of an exhibitionist and so she comes in there and gets naked and i'm the whole time i think everybody's looking at her except for me i'm looking at taylor because taylor it looks like michael scott when he's trying to explain to all those black children they can't well sometimes it's so out of left field it'll be like you're like doing

a bit or joking around with someone and then it's like oh this okay we're doing this now yeah and like it's like all right hangout time i guess i'll get naked and organize maybe two thousand dollars worth of sex toys yeah and they'll be in like the first hangout and they're west coast so it's like 8 50 in the morning yeah they're they get after it over there she is she is often nude um it's a it's a good time not not last month though um i'm glad i didn't advertise or promise any nudity well i'm sure no i like the hangouts too it's it's a pretty diverse crew in there which always surprises me there's so many uh i don't know it is a very diverse group all sorts of people appreciate this dumbass program clearly which is heartwarming really we got our own little fucking un in there

yeah i i i i think that it's interesting that we've got a a lot of a lot of ladies i think percentage wise um yeah well it's more than zero which percentage wise is enormous like it's like three or four it's like three or four which which seems high to me um yeah and uh and and like a lot of uh a lot of trans people too that was the one that surprised me like trans i don't know what percent of our population is trans but it must be like 0.01 percent or something yeah yeah we're represented for sure but there's like a one out of 25 in our group. At least. At least it might be higher than that. Yeah. Pretty diverse group we got going on.

Not as many colored people as I would like. I'd like some more. Are we down to one? Down to one. Jesus Christ. Well, let's not put it that way since our good friend passed away a couple years ago. He's not the only one? Well, he's one of the Cullards we had, and now we don't.

Jesus Christ, stop calling him Cullards. People of Cullard. This is making me uncomfortable. People of Cullard. I think about Daniel all the time. I was thinking about him just like yesterday. He was a wonderful young man. I don't want to go into the whole thing,

but he had an incredibly promising career in one of those prestige fields. He was young and good looking and intelligent and had everything put together. Then he died suddenly. We were hanging out with that guy

every month for hours and chatting with him. It was always a really good time. He would always dial in from Bali. Did he go to the hong kong riots or something yeah he was in the hong kong riots he was in bali with this like pot that he had found on instagram like like um uh you know and uh he was doing testosterone and getting like super jacked and like he was just whoa he was like hitting on all cylinders, it seemed like. And yeah, he died. And very suddenly, it was real sad.

It was sad. So yeah, if you're out there and you've got some colored friends who you think would be into us, let them know. We would love to entertain them for five hours a week. You're making my teeth hurt, man. What's that? You're making my teeth hurt with this. Because I'm being so sweet.

Because you're being so sweet. Because it's so endearing and so kind. Kyle just has a heart so large he doesn't know what he's saying. We would take a dark-skinned Dominican. We can't possibly be held accountable for this. Any dark-skinned Dominicans, if you look like like manny um um

or sosa rather if you look like sosa before whatever the fuck happened to sosa like like that complexion would be fine um but but really like it's a little white in there uh we've got like three or four asians i i like that a lot. Like two Arabs, maybe. I think you're forgetting. I haven't seen the Jew in a while. The Israeli guy? Yeah. He's probably busy. Why do you flinch at Jew? He's a Jew.

He is. He's like a super Jew. He's an Israeli tank commander. He has that, do the accent, Taylor. It's cool. Oh, yeah. It's almost like a French accent. It is very

back in the throat. When he started speaking, the first time, I was like, I had no fucking idea that was what an Israeli accent sounded like. It had the throat thing of French, which I don't know why. I just didn't imagine that. It's a Nino accent.

It didn't sound as it's because it's not as guttural as the arabic accents that that are like seemingly from the maybe it's because he was speaking english because like maybe it's because he was arab and hebrew they have a lot of those sounds dude probably got educated in france or something like that that's why he has a friend maybe we're just totally wrong but anyway it's a it's a pretty diverse diverse group in that in that way and uh i i genuinely look forward to the hangouts every month to see who's going to show up this time oh it's fun it's a good time so join and hang out if you'd like guys lots of good jokes

lots of good good bits and silliness and uh just you know careful with your audio quality because woody will come down like a hammer. He's not going to give you... We're not memeing about that. Woody, has Taylor ever yelled at anybody in the Hangout? I can't think of a single time Taylor has. I don't think so. Kyle, you have. I have.

But, I mean, like, there is a Wayne gretzky of yelling at fans in this chat and it's not you no i'm like wayne gretzky's brother like the two of us like like like but i've only got like one or two he's got like 55 fan attack what is a point per game player. When he goes off on somebody, he's always got the crowd behind him because it'll be someone who has interrupted so many times that everybody's just thinking like, hey, dude, you're taking up a lot of air.

And finally, Woody will be like, hey, I'm talking here. Except he won't say something like that, that you could laugh off. He'll be like, do, I'm talking here! Except he won't say something like that that you could laugh off. He'll be like, do you ever shut the fuck up? Hey, actually, hang on, let me fix this. And there's server unit, and I have to be like, remember

to unmute combuster 3. And like Kyle says, it's not something you could laugh off like hey i'm talking here it's more like hey hey hey come buster 69 do you realize there's 25 people in this call and you're single-handedly responsible for 66 of the airtime do you think that the other 24 people combined want to share the third that you allow them. Shut the fuck up and let somebody talk. It's like that.

I close my eyes and I'm there. That's exactly what it's like. It didn't happen last week. It took tactical bathroom breaks. What happened last week? He told somebody to shut up last week because they just kept yapping. If you interrupt multiple times. Oh, I remember last week. He they just kept yapping if you interrupt yeah multiple times like oh i remember last week he hit him he hit him with the main character thing he was like

oh look it's the it's the main fucking character he's arrived nobody cares and like and to like say again like it's generally not someone interrupting woody and woody lashing out usually it's like because there's some people who love talking in there and there's some people who are very like, they don't want to talk. And so they'll turn on their mic and be like, Hey Kyle, I had a question for you about,

and then someone who has been talking for 10 minutes, just like over them. And then the, the Shire person tends to be like, okay, I'm going to sit back. I don't want to jump in. And then what do you be like?

I don't know. Like Joe, what the fuck? What were you saying? Like that? You have to play referee because you do have to play referee or the same person sometimes in there which can and sometimes be code for douchebag and woody just does not have any tolerance for that and i love it um i definitely melted down on somebody about a month and a half ago two months i see it slightly

i feel like i have tolerance but i let it wear out like i could have nipped it in the bud but i have this flaw where like he does it a third time a fourth time a sixth time and it's like i've had it up it's time for me to shut this guy the fuck up because i try to be careful because there are a lot of guys in there that like me a lot, but I just can't stand them. And that's on me. That's on me. I should be more accepting of them, or I should have more patience for them. That's a character flaw of mine. And so I can't be mad at them for me hating them. They haven't done anything wrong other than just not being your cup of tea. I just can't stand to be in the same in their presence at all.

But you know, that's the agreement. So like there's a few of them. What I do is I turn their volume down to 5% and discord on me. Like y'all get full blast, but I get 5%. That way, if they,

if they say Kyle, my brain can catch it and I can be like, all right, he wants me. Let me give him some volume and tell him I missed that. What was that, buddy? Everything else, my brain doesn't even hear it. It's just this little droning hiss in the background. Now I don't get

nearly as frustrated hanging out in there. There's only two of them that don't have volume anymore. There's another little thing, which is like I don't mean to pump our tires too much, but people are there to hang out with the hosts. If someone's not letting the hosts talk or if someone asks taylor a question directly and then main character just doesn't let taylor answer it's like hey like you're ruining this other customer's experience that's usually like that's when i try and butt in in the hangouts is like

if i see somebody trying to get in and they can't i'll step in and be like hey hold that like let's hear from this yeah but you never you never like hey i never i'm not comfortable like screaming at them i they're they're paying to hang out with us like i would feel guilty they love it they fucking love it like first of all when i do it i'm not there's never any like meanness in my voice and i'm it's like mostly for laughs although i do i what i mean is hey shut up come on what are you doing you want me it could get worse if you if you want to keep being an asshole but like stop is what i'm saying woody's more like a dad though like and because he's he's got that in him that lays down the law he's got that dad voice and and when he tells you something it's like oh shit i'm in trouble i let woody down dude woody has the best like you've let me down voice

and you can see that come through in the hangout and everybody go oh well i gotta earn his favor this asshole letting woody down wow so you know how disappointed he is he's never i like to hang out sometimes i love him yeah i have fun with it's usually just joking around and like it's really just riffing like this show about stupid nonsense or the people with the cool jobs it's always need to catch up with them like oh you work in film on like real shows like shows we're watching right now like that's awesome or i want the tank commander guy to come back i love talking to him about tanks i like both those

guys the one that gets i think undervalued is the one that's like super financially successful i think he does something on wall street oh yeah yeah yeah the guy's loaded cat he's like casually like pulling into his eight car garage garage in a $120,000 car. He might be Italian looking. We're talking about the same guy, right? He looks a little ethnic. A little Italian looking. He's got that olive oil skin

and that guinea charm. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes people ask me financial advice and we answer it together and he i like i appreciate when he comes yeah yeah the the the hangout he did where he was like driving in his three hundred thousand dollar car and he had good audio almost it was like like man you got it under you got it on lock you have a road microphone in that bentley sir yeah just driving by a 30 coffee there's um um yeah there's a couple guys in there that are very well off um there's a lot of them i mean that one guy was paying 45 grand a month rent remember that there's been a few guys who are us like next level wealthy yeah in there that in the early

days they all kind of were or not necessarily them some of them had like parents that were wealthy and they just had like we had a we had an oil kid right like like somebody who was like arabic and dubai or something who had an enormous amount of money for somehow people that seem to have tremendous allowances like it's a foreign concept for me for like your dad to give you a thousand bucks a week to just make life a little easier i'm thinking of one guy and he was from a while ago with an allowance thing i don't remember anybody i'd be pretty sick though i feel like there were a couple guys i don't know if it was formalized allowance but they were there because their parents had cash how much money would would it take do you think

for like let's say you're 18 let's we're gonna do like a government credit thing like a basic income you're you're leaving the house at 18 years old you graduated high school you go how much should the government be forking over to you as a man who doesn't have any like school housing or anything like that let's just forget about that the government why would the government fork over money to this person to make your life a little bit easier so maybe you could pursue your dreams without worrying about you know this is like a universal basic income yeah we all get this amount this is the universe this this would be like uh the the the basic like lowest amount that it would start at right you know you're you're you're a your rpg character just started you're out on your own

you're no longer dependent how much do you start out with off the top of my head i know inflation's rushing this but it's somewhere between like 24 and 29 grand a year something like that at 24 grand a year i feel like you can get by not very well and you need roommates. You can't write your own place or anything. I think if you give them $30,000 a year and then they

go and do anything, then they can make another $30,000. Jobs that pay $30,000 a year don't seem that hard to come by. Am I wrong about that? Because that doesn't seem like a lot of money. That's $15 an hour.

Okay, you can get that. You can get that. Like do a fucking six-week training course and you're making $15 an hour. Now you're making $60,000 a year. It seems like it'd be pretty easy to make your way through life if you had $33,000 a year.

Taxes as well. But if you learned like through life if you had $33,000 a year. Tax-free as well. But if you learned, well, yeah, $60,000. That's $30,000 real dollars, not now. You could even lower it. Maybe $20,000 or $25,000 is a bonus to what people have now. When you consider that's non-taxable income? Yeah, make it $20,000 and then add it to whatever. You say anyone can make $15,000 say you say anyone can make 15 i say

anyone can make 12 um but 12 grand a year is i'm sorry 12 grand 12 dollars an hour is 24 grand a year tack that 20 on there now we got 44 grand a year that's your starting character like every waitress makes at least 15 an hour every and i think like i'm trying to think what the equivalent of a waitress is for a man get out of here that's not landscaper actually i think i don't know why i'm so stupid not to realize that it's waiter yeah i don't know why i came up with landscape there are a few later i think it's because few. Clearly waiter. I think it's because, all right, here's why it is.

It's because so many women have utilized that as a way to like, have a career. Like you can have a career as a good waitress. I don't think of that so much with waiters.

Like maybe like, I don't know, maybe you're like a fancy maitre d' or something. Those guys at like the steak restaurants who are like 61 years old who have been doing it forever they got the gold crumb scraper yeah yeah and like they're serving people who unlike bad service are probably tipping them 110 dollars like i suppose so unless unless chrissy is coming

through one night and he's tapped he only only has $1,200 on him. And I read a comment online about this. This is a side thing on The Sopranos. It took me until now to realize all the times Artie is like, they're like, I want the fucking whatever the hell, the meniscus or whatever. And Artie's like, no, not that. I've got something perfect for you right in the back, fresh.

You're going to love it. Right from fucking whatever he says. And then he's just taking leftovers from other plates because he doesn't want to spend the money or like taking cheap ingredients and making a dish because he like he doesn't want to go to the main menu you know what i mean is that what he's really doing yeah because like there was that scene where like he's like oh this is called uh whatever the other uh this is burrata cheese it's like mozzarella but it's a little more uh mild and then these green beans are special and so he like gives them that and then the one woman's like i'm not gonna get

this i'm gonna order that and he just like avoids her just like won't come back and take no i think that that's about arty is trying to that's arty's idea of expanding and like coming up with a new thing because that young hot shot waiter is taking all of his business even tony has gone there and tony has to admit that this guy blows already out of the water i can't believe this and so that's arty's way of hey i'm trying a new thing we've got barata it's a it's and but then she eats she eats and she's like it's string bit it's string beans and mozzarella like it's that's all this. Meanwhile, this young guy over here is some kind of mastermind. I don't know.

They didn't really show what he was cooking. That's what I saw from that. I love The Sopranos. I haven't rewatched it in maybe a year. I'm going to wait a while this time. I saw Pauly died the other day. RIP in real life. RIP in real life, yeah.

He survived in the show. Pauly is the one that had the wings. He had good biceps, too. He did. One of my favorite Pauly scenes, there's a lot of them, but it's when Tony sort of corners him on the boat in the final season.

He's like, you're the one that let that out about the Johnny Sack joke, right? Nah, Tony, no. Nah, come on. It's not even a big deal anymore. You can tell me. You're the one that did it, right? No, don't.

Frankly, I'm offended that you'd even say something like that. Ah, come on. I know it was you, Paulie. Just admit it. Admit it. Come on. And meanwhile, Tony is going to kill him if he admits it that's the beauty of that scene because even when he like still like frankly tone i'm

offended you'd even say something like that and like ends the conversation tone is looking at every weapon every deadly weapon that's around him on that boat there's like oh there's this big knife they're cutting bait up with there's this like i don't know bat over here they're gonna they're like killing fish with and he's just he's thinking about killing paulie right then and there because paulie's got a big fucking mouth he's seeing it right now he just saw it yesterday him blabber mouthing to some random girl and he's almost sure that paulie was the one who told about that joke and that created such a clusterfuck and he did of course he was of course the one who did it he did yeah one problem that's common across mob movies is the tough guys aren't

wouldn't be tough guys there are people who are literally like 215 pounds overweight who are tough guys there are people like tony who can't beat paulie they're they're like just they uh joe pesci one of the toughest guys in in mom movies joe pesci i i want to get all i could beat up joe pesci he's like five five pretty old he's 80 fuck that guy up you know what i'm not gonna i'm gonna be modest i fuck up joe pesci how many Joe Pesci's could you take in a fight yeah yeah so but like they take a Joe Pesci or this guy and they just stack rank them wrong why can't guys be tough why can't I got a tough guy here who was actually in the mob this guy's name is Primo Casarino now one of the things he did was extort Stevenven seagal out of about four hundred thousand dollars so he was hired um by a

movie producer if i remember the story correctly i may be slightly off of the title we asked the guy what movie producers do this is what they do this movie producer had a deal with steven seagal to make you know one of those multi-picture deals steven steven's guru says you know you really shouldn't be making these violent movies goes against your whole mantra your whole like code and he's like yes no more killing in my films and this guy's like dude you break people apart in every movie that's your thing you kill 30 people a movie we make 25 million a movie that's what we do here now i'm not gonna kill anymore so this guy has he calls up his mob buddy,

this gentleman that I, whatever his name is, and says, put the screws to Steven Seagal. He doesn't want to play ball. Well, he not only puts the screws. Primo. I got him. Primo Casarino. Awesome. Are you looking at him on your computer?

I pulled up his Wikipedia. Okay. He doesn't have a photo on his Wikipedia.ipedia um i mean if you like google image search yeah yeah but anyway but anyway they kidnapped steven seagal and um threatened him out of and eventually not only does they make steven seagal do the movies but he has to give the mobsters $400,000 for their trouble. And he gave it to them. They caught this guy talking about it to his buddies afterwards on a wiretap and they were laughing at what a pussy Steven Seagal was. And Primo says I only wish I had a gun so I could have put it in his face like they do in the movies.

This is like a real tough guy he is tough looking too yeah he's filling out that nautica jacket yeah that that's a scary looking dude although i must say the guy behind him and to the left also a very large looking man he's further back but he looks bigger think about that yeah and i based on yeah he also looks italian maybe he's some other mobster does he have cuffs on i can't i don't think so i don't know you can't well his hands are close together yeah who knows uh in any case uh so this guy extorted steven seagal yeah i i think with this mobster thing is like they're not threatening to have a fist fight with you they're threatening to kill you and they may not even mean right now they're threatening to like come back tonight maybe they start a little

fire i mean when you come out to the fight you know that's what they did in the sopranos if you think about what they actually did when they want somebody to do their thing when um robert patrick's character um davy owes tony the gambling debt um they start a fire in his dumpsters outside at night he runs outside in his underwear to put out his dumpster fire and now two goons have him cornered in an alley and they're like you're gonna pay the money you're gonna pay the money that's not fisticuffs time there's no win in that fight if If you started beating them both up, they pull out a gun or a knife or a club. They're going to escalate to murder.

That's where they're headed. They stop it. They don't stop anywhere. And you, on the other hand are like, man, I really just want y'all to leave me alone. I can't just beat you up.

And then you'll tell the other guys how tough I am. No, we tell them you need to die now. Like, no no we're an organized crime and we'll send more guys and we don't think you're gonna have your head on a swivel 24 7 you know what it's like here's the perfect example if this makes sense i like drawing these like comparisons between things sometimes it's like thinking the cops aren't scary because the cop looks like a pussy that's a good i can whoop his fucking ass why are people so afraid of the cops i could

beat the shit out of that cop yeah let's see how that one goes over no you're right i've seen that a lot that's a good comparison sometimes what happens is cops think that they are badass because they beat up people who aren't fighting back and those people who aren't fighting back they know that there's more cops coming that if you just beat this one cop that's not the end of the story and it frustrates me to think see cops strut around like peacocks it's like the ron white joke i don't know how many of them it would have took to whoop my ass but i know how many they was gonna use as many as it took yeah is the answer um that's what it's like um you know if you're thinking you could beat up a mobster or a cop i

think or or like you know and you might say oh i've got a gun though both scenarios let's see but they do too but they have more you're one person helicopter and like that's the thing with the mobsters is like you're not necessarily you're not afraid of joe pesci so to speak or like bobby baccaliari like you're not afraid of him you're afraid of his ability to use his influence to send goons at you because that guy's got dozens of people he could call on to send a little troop like i was i I saw the scene when I was rewatching just last night. You know how Bobby Bacala, he's the least intimidating one. He's he's the one he's friendly and everything.

And then he's he's worried about his wife dying and everything. And then Junior's like, he's getting soft. And then he just goes to that bar with the one union guy. And formerly like sweet Bobby is now sitting there like, oh, you know, you vote for that guy. You may as well be putting a bullet in your head here, here and here. And you got kids. So it's always something to think about. And then he gets up and leaves.

And it's like that guy's not the union guy is not scared of Bob. He's probably like, I couldn't catch me. He's afraid of Bobby's influence. And the fact that Bobby is part of an organized crime syndicate that has an enormous amount of reach and like they can just come upon there's no they're not cops they're plainclothes people you're gonna avoid every dark-haired person like what are you gonna do you're right you're right when i said that i was thinking more like um is it a bronx Tale where they shut the door and they beat up the biker gang? Now you can't leave.

Yeah, yeah. Really? That biker gang is the one I would have put my money on. Not the super fat guy or the old guy or the children. If they pulled out guns and had them at gunpoint and then just pistol whipped them, giving them no chance at all. They could have brought in people who were actually tough guys instead of just bringing in the actors. Oh, dude, you see that fat man bear hug? Fat men aren't that strong.

No, no, they're not. No, no, they're not. You see that fat guy? That guy who's never seen the inside of a gym bear hug? Dude, remember when I had one of my favorite things that we ever talked about on the show and then we got it done? We sit here and theorize fucking bears and gorillas fighting all the time but we had that ongoing thing with wings about how he could like get out of a rear naked choke and everything and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna have my house we're gonna do it and then when we actually got to do it and prove how silly that that whole thought process was that's one of my favorite things that we ever like no wings you can't watch and it was like so clear that he

couldn't it was great i wonder what jeremy's doing right now i still haven't seen his fake teeth i gotta get on it like i saw him but it was dark and i was like i don't know it's hard to explain but i was like sitting in a chair facing the other way and I was like, I don't know. It's hard to explain, but I was like sitting in a chair facing the other way. And he was like over my shoulder while we're having the conversation. Cause there was somebody sitting in front of me and I didn't really get a good look at those chompers, but I'm told they're just pearly white. Really good for him. He's got the veneers. So he's looking. No, no, he's got a dentures.

Yeah. Well, at least he didn't get like cadaver teeth put in him or something is that something they do did i dream did i dream that i don't think they do that and if they do i want them yeah that sounds badass you know black people have much higher bone density i would like a black man's teeth. It'd be like how those military dogs get the titanium teeth to replace their old ones. If I ever have a tooth go, I would like to have the tooth of a black man. They give military dogs titanium teeth?

Yeah, if their old tooth falls out. They don't install a mouth full of titanium teeth, but if they lose a tooth, teeth can break and stuff, they'll put a titanium implant in. No, you're joking. Everyone knows a dog's teeth never stop growing.

That's beavers. Oh. Guinea pigs. I'm going to take that one with a straight face. A dog's teeth never stop. I want to confidently throw that out somewhere at a social event and get someone to co-sign you need someone there who's like in on the gag you know i heard that last week it's wild nature new new research shows study show dogs' teeth grow three centimeters a year.

It's like bamboo. The reason they never noticed is a watched tooth never grows. Like a watched pot never boils. I've heard that. What a weird saying. A watched pot

never boils. It means that if you stand around and like concentrate on this thing like when's it going to happen when's it going to happen then time will pass more slowly you'll perceive the time as longer than if you chopped the potatoes and the vegetables and started prepping the meat while the pot got got warm and weren't even thinking about it i know what you mean i just how did that saying make it like through the cut you know like it's not a very good one i think it's a great one really why don't you like it what would be better oh fuck yeah well i guess you're right i don't

have something on my head that's better so what so do you have a better one no no you're the one coming in here shitting on the idiom or whatever the fuck that is i think yeah taylor you know if you're not you can't just be against something you have to be for something better that's so true that's right that's what i told the cops you can't just be against me having weed one more time put your hands behind your back. Counterpoint. I'm opposed to putting my hands behind my back. Could we put them in the front like they do rich people? I think they did. Is that how they do rich people? In the front? I'm trying to remember.

I was in various handcuffs, but I'm pretty sure I had hands in front on the way to jail. Yeah, I got hands in front on the way to jail. Did you have regular handcuffs or the kind with the chain in the middle of the handcuffs that goes to your waist or your feet? I've been shackled a couple times. That's when you've got hands by your side. Put your hands in your pockets, and now each hand is cuffed uh by via a chain to another chain that's around your waist and that is cuffed to chains at your feet all right not chain two but

um at your feet are shackled together too ankle shackles fucking suck there's no such thing as a comfortable ankle shackle like there's just they're just handcuffs on your feet like they they kind of bite as you walk? Yeah, every step they hurt. They stop. Do you have a chain or a bar in between? I think that's what Taylor's answer is. A chain. And it is not long enough for a man of my stature.

It shouldn't be. You're a danger. We need to limit you to shuffling. It was like, where do y'all think I'm gonna go? We gave you long strides and you bought weed. Can't have that again. That was the night they pulled me out to drug test me. They drove me to the hospital. Before we left, they told me they were going to draw blood.

I'm like, all right, I've got to pee though because you just woke me up out of bed. It's 2 in the morning or whatever. I'm like, I've got to pee. Can I pee? He's like, yeah, they don't want urine. I'm like okay so like they let me pee like right there we go i go into a bathroom or whatever we get there and they want urine and i'm like i just peed and the guy and my my cop associate my my attend handler yeah he's like yeah he just peed y'all said he could pee and it's like well let's get some water and i'm like

and then because i'm like in there trying to dribble out four drops of piss for these psychopaths at two in the morning uh did they watch the pee leave your penis no no they know i don't have anything i'm already in jail they pull me out of jail and take me to the hospital there's no way i've got like how about the drug already in jail. They pull me out of jail and take me to the hospital. There's no way I've got a fake... How about the drug testing? Did they watch the pee come out of your penis? Because you were in probation, you did some pee tests. You know, he's got a mirror

that kind of gives him... There's a mirror above the toilet, right above it. Not a good mirror, though. I don't know how to explain it, but it's not super well polished it's a little opaque but he could definitely tell i think i think i think you can see that like if i'm getting out an apparatus but that only came into play um when i'd go to their offices

piss test um like to the probation offices now when i but but the more usually i'm getting tested at like a third-party facility. Is this like a LabCorp or something? Not LabCorp. It was a place that did DUI counseling and drug counseling and DUI classes. And it was like a one-stop shop for that sort of thing. So there's just a guy there, not a law enforcement officer, not an agent of any kind. He's just like, hey, I'm Brent.

I'm here to take your urine. Just go in the bathroom and fill the cup up. So with him, I could have just brought bottles of piss in. Of course, I would never dare to do that. That sounds terrifying to try to beat a drug test. I think I've told you guys before that I had nightmares about that. Recurring nightmares about accidentally doing drugs. Yeah. My favorite one. Usually what would

happen is like, I would dream about being with somebody and then like handing me a joint and smoking it and getting, and I would get high. And then I would, then I would remember, oh no, you got to get drug tested. Like at any time they could be tomorrow. What have you done? And I would wake up so, so, so stressed. Like, what have you done? What have you done and i would wake up so so so stressed like what have you done what have you done you're gonna fail your oh that's right i took drugs in my dream those don't count those are dream drugs good good good but then i had this one dream and it was so vivid i can't remember it might have been joe pesci and i'm not even just saying that because it's funny i think it was joe pesci and marv um from home Alone. You know the other guy?

I think it was them, but I can't be sure. You know how dreams are. Anyway, I was in this isolated area on a dead end road and one of them ran up and rubbed something on my neck. I'm like, what the fuck did you just rub on me? He's just like, drugs.

You know how absurd that dream is yeah and i'm just like but but that is programmed into my mind is he rubbed he rubbed psychedelic drugs on your skin you're absorbing them into your system that's gonna show up in your drug test oh no oh no and then like i'm getting high in my dream and again i wake up super stressed out oh no joe pesci rubbed those drugs on me what if what if they call me tomorrow what if they what if my number's up tomorrow oh they're never gonna believe it was marv they're not gonna buy my story because like i was um like i was at the um the federal offices one time and uh it was like around the holidays so there was no way for me

to use my normal drug testing thing so i had to drive the 50 minutes to them downtown and this lady was like she just had tested positive for um um opiates and she's like no but i've got a prescription where is it i don't have it and you haven't given to anyone no oh well all right i'm gonna go process her mark they're like taking her away and like and like this lady who's taking her away like needs to talk to me so she's like she's like will you talk to mr myers here and i'm gonna i'm gonna take tiffany back in the back where we take fucking drug users like i don't know what they were gonna do to her but she was like but they were gonna do drugs in front of her make her jealous but it was like it's one of those

things you know cops and law enforcement and people in authority they got like three questions and if you answer the wrong way on all three of them it's we're done talking it's like do you have your prescription with you no is it at home no can you call your doctor no all right be right back then because we're not going any further yeah and so like that put the fear of god into into me too and of course like i was afraid of getting a speeding ticket so like i just that was my biggest fear in the world was accidentally failing a drug test i was afraid of poppy seed muffins. I was afraid if I smelled weed at a gas station. I smelled weed on a girl that

I had sex with one time. And I ate her pussy. And I was thinking, is there any chance that this girl's got enough weed in her system that eating her pussy could make me test positive? There is no way. enough weed in her system that eating her pussy did you google it that's positive

there is no way i literally had that thought you're using like she doesn't tell you and she's like using cbd lube or something like she just came over and i could smell like weed on her and and and and uh and and i was like god get eating her pussy get me make me fail and i know that's the stupidest thing in the world to think but the consequences are you wouldn't bet your life that it can't happen like that that's the thing if someone asked you on the street hey can you get high can you get high from eating pussy are you retarded but if they were like would you bet your life that that you could pass a drug

test after eating a stoned woman's pussy my life and your and your children's lives wait what why do i have to bargain my life you just do now that there are stakes i guess it kind of makes sense like pussy can be scary um it's uh it was a whole thing i'm so glad that's over and we've got these wonderful wonky wheat products that are apparently legal and get stoned as fuck it's legal drugs folks you can just get fucked up what happened with the biden didn't they have a schumer put something up right about missouri it has it on the ballot here to legalize it for recreational use in November. Federally, I think, yeah, they're trying to put up a law.

I think the Republicans don't like the expunge record part, and that's why it's not passing. But the Democrats don't want to settle for less. That's 80% right. I saw Adam Carolla tell a great joke. I don't know when it was from, but they were talking about if Trump was going to be president. Maybe Bill Maher was on the show, or maybe it was his show. But they were like, is Biden going to run? And Adam Carolla goes, run? He can barely walk.

He can ride a bike. Sometimes. Oh no, is Biden going to run in two years? And it's like, I don't know if he'll be able to walk in two years, because he's just falling apart. I look forward to that thing. I hope that trump doesn't get taken down by the corrupt fbi the biden fbi not only is it a bad look honestly but i see this tweet from cnn that

says classified documents related to nuclear weapons were among items sought in the fbi search at trump's mar-a-lago residence, the Washington Post reported. I don't know what it's about. If it is about the mishandling of classified documents, I don't love this. If Trump did something more than that, but if he just kept souvenirs from his time in his presidency, I feel like I might have done that.

And that's not the sort of thing you should go for. What if it's like pictures of him throwing up gang signs at the missile silo and stuff like that? That would be hilarious. That's hilarious and I'm for it. Actually, they belong in the public record, so now I think I would love that. I would love that. You know how we did that question where Kyle was like, Woody, what would get you to hypothetically vote

for Trump? How about this one? How about this, Jack? Hunter Biden VP. Oh! That's the most entertaining ticket in history. Trump is the president, and then... Hunter is VP? Yeah, Hunter is VP.

Oh, that is entertaining. See? Wait, you're saying Hunter Biden as Trump's VP? Yes, as Trump's VP. Imagine. You wouldn't think that would... That's not good content. That's not good. He's a drug addict.

Hunter Biden president, Charlie Sheen VP. Think big. Look, I'll just aside. Let's not put a drug addict or a madman one heartbeat away from the presidency. It needs to be someone who can do the job. Here's what works well.

You've already got Trump. You don't need another loon. It's nice to have a straight man next to Trump to contrast. Pence didn't even play the straight man game. He barely talked for four years. When he talks, it's good though. I want to see a little Abbott and Costello back and forth on would be the best straight man like who's i don't know i don't think most of these oh i know

who would be a good straight man politician um what's his name for him to play off who's the who's who's the guy who goes and like owns the college kids the the jewish fellow who's like always got great conservative uh points of view he talks really fast owns the college kids. The Jewish fellow who's always got great conservative points of view. He talks really fast. Oh, Ben Shapiro. Yeah, that's your ticket. There you go. Trump and Ben Shapiro? Yeah.

I don't know. I don't think Ben Shapiro is very funny. I don't know if he would give Trump the... Well, I don't know if he would... You think he would be a good comedy duo with trump i feel like trump would make a joke and then and then ben would get all serious about it he's your straight man that's his job he's too straight i like him i like him a lot i've been watching this youtube short and it's like one after another not necessarily of him just

yeah and i don't care What's he up to now? It's always the same shit, more or less. College guys? His appearances on various shows. I think maybe, was it him that someone was saying about trans people that someone was taking part in self-delusion, and then the trans person threatened to put them in the hospital. I can't remember who that was. That clip sounds

familiar. Yeah, I can't remember who that was. I don't know. I've been watching a bunch of YouTube shorts just flicking through them like they're popcorn. And for some reason it thinks that I care about Ben Shapiro. A lot of Jordan Peterson for some reason. A lot of that Tate guy or the Tate brothers. Bunch of UFC stuff.

Like, I don't know why it's, I don't know. I guess maybe that's just popular stuff or it thinks that I like that stuff. What's my YouTube given me? Magic the Gathering decks. On short stuff. I watched a ton of videos of people like melting down different metals

and pouring them into molds a while. A lot of suggestions about smelting. Yeah, a little metallurgy stuff. And then, of course, I always get suggested a bunch of Eric Bugenhagen videos. The best workout channel on YouTube, far and away. Politics, basketball, fitness,

and motorcycles. That's my homepage. Magic the Gathering, Brian Shaw, NHL, Overhead Press, Bows and Arrows, Mystery. Are you still doing Bows and Arrows? I haven't done it in a bit. The weather's going to come around soon. It's been horrible out.

It's so thick and muggy and fucking hot. You don't want to kill something? If I was hunting, I would. But I'm just more talking about plinking in the backyard. It's been so fucking hot. But would you like to eventually kill something? Yeah, of course. I've killed stuff with guns when I've hunted.

But I've never gone bow hunting ever. What about the most dangerous game? Oh, man. Man. Yeah. Honestly, man probably isn't the most dangerous game oh man man yeah it's honestly man probably isn't the most dangerous game probably like a killer whale totally the most dangerous game what is uh we're going in the woods well it does sound dangerous especially if you have a bow because it only shoots like four feet and it doesn't hurt when it hit fuck that one of those things they mount

on the ship one of those pneumatic harpoon cannons that they were wasting sperm whales with. I think they frown on that now. Not if the killer whales... Did you see that pod of 75 orcas kill a 100-foot-long blue whale and eat it? Oh, I don't like that. I like the blue whales.

Yeah. Well, so do they. What have killer whales ever done for anyone? I think they bully the fuck out of great white sharks like they make a point to do it um they they and if the great white shark survives they said that it won't come back to that area for like a whole year like it'll take it'll like go hundreds of miles away and not and stay and stay away for over a year after the takeout workers so seals seem kind of kind but like sea lions are aggressive and mean and yeah angry i think that i

think i have my i think you're right okay mobile mammals right i like it when they fuck with sea lions sea lions they seem nasty they seem like a dog that would want to bite you yeah their head shape oh i'm thinking about getting a weimaraner that's a i'm looking at like three dogs right now i'm looking at a weimaraner I'm looking at a Weimaraner. I'm looking at one of those Shiba Inus, one of those silly meme dogs. And there's an Australian shepherd-type dog that's got those fluffy ears.

I know someone with an Australian shepherd. They need so much activity. Well, I don't like that. Like non-stop it would be running to run and free like it's the most high energy dog i found this uh this um weimaraner that lost part of his colon due to some sort of accident or something and so now he has to get monthly b12 injections so i like the idea of a dog who's on the juice just like me like i'm gonna like inject with my ass and then i'm like all right your turn like he'd see me do

it to myself and he'd feel a little bit better that like he had to do it too he's like oh this is what we do together this is our bonding time yeah it'd be our bonding time i suppose you should hit him up i wonder how a dog would respond to the tea. I'm going to give the dog testosterone. I'm going to give him B12. That's what he needs. Kyle, I question your generosity. It's human testosterone. That's why I wondered how it would respond. I'm going to have Woody.

Clearly, I'm going to get dog testosterone. All right. I was being stupid. No, no. Wolf testosterone. Wolf. I will know. Yeah.

I bet you using wolf testosterone would get you even further down the path you should fill his water bowl with blood so he gets proper protein no but i i do want a dog um i keep looking at them they've all got these pitiful fucking bios though on the dog websites just like this is chief he he's seven he's 17 years old the lady who owned him died and he stood by her side for a week starving we've almost got him back to full size though by the way he doesn't have any eyes or ears and he died as i finished writing this dude there's so many bonded pairs and it'll be like this is jesse and and this is billy billy doesn't have eyes or ears so jesse has to guide him around and like

they'll shit in the pictures like it's his like seeing eye dog friend and they're like bonded together and they'll only give you jesse if you take his seeing eye dog friend with him and it's like oh like i don't check you could just take them both and then take the blind one to a different pound oh that sounds so real isn't that the meanest thing you could imagine that's so awful okay you just take the blind one to the glue factory make it the worst thing i've ever heard dude i i have to make sure when i search for like pets near me or pets in atlanta that i don't check the box that says special needs because special needs could be that b12 injection i'm cool with that fuck yeah dude i'll hook you up no problem at all um but then sometimes your dog's's nonverbal. Sometimes the dogs are paralyzed.

They require like so many like meds and stuff. And one of them had cancer. And it's like Timmy's lifespan really depends on who adopts him and how much care they want to pay for. They're like he had he had a tumor. It's going to pay for. On the grace of God. They're like, he had a tumor. It's going to come back. So his lifespan depends on what you want to do about that. And it's like, shit.

Dude, this makes me so sad. You're just adopting debt. Yeah, like most of these... And everybody tells you to rescue a dog. What they mean is, adopt one from a shelter. Because I'm not like... It wasn't hanging rescue a dog or like what they mean is you know adopt one from a shelter um because i'm not like it wasn't hanging off a cliff or anything but you know what i mean and so that's what i want to do i don't want to go to a puppy puppy farm or anything

um but i want a dog that's like two to five years old something like that also not a puppy on the floor but these are cute dogs i like them as far as short-haired dogs go they're super intelligent weimaraners are great we had a dog that was a weimaraner mix as my childhood dog and she was fantastic same like um when i was four or five we had one sam sam uh is the dog that uh killed that deer that was trying to get us that time sam was a good boy Dan they live 11 to 14 years that's pretty big for a mid-sized dog Zach will you please pull up the Weimaraner calendar

Woody doesn't know what that is and that means this is going to be so much more fun find me one of those Weimaraner calendars I'm hoping it's at least a little seductive oh they're precious it's at least a little seductive. Oh, they're precious. It's just a bunch of dogs nodding. Selling a dog calendar, but it's a sexy dog calendar. God damn it. I meant the

ones where they're dressed up in people clothes. I thought that was the only kind that existed. I didn't think there'd be actual calendars of just random dogs. Of course there is. I bet there's ones for every dog. I don't know. i always saw those calendars of weimaraners with like their paws through their heads like through a shirt and there's like a person's hands coming through like doing stuff uh i like those a lot anyway i might get the weimaraner oh god damn it you it's not

what i'm looking for i don't know i feel like he's fitting your require give me one right i'm just saying that's not it no get looking for. Oh, God. I don't know. I feel like he's fitting your requirements. Give me one more. He's doing his best. I'm just saying. That's not it. No, give me one more to dress as a person. Nah, not this guy. Okay, wait. Hold on.

Is this kind of... Okay, I'm going to link this, Zach. Put this up. Is this more the vibe you were going for, Con? One sec. It is, I think, more what you were looking for. It's much, much closer. It's infinitely

closer. I'm on the hunt for exactly what I'm looking for. Man, I love this picture. Oh, then you're gonna melt when you see what I got cooking. Then you should get a Weimaraner. Well, see, the Shiba Inu is

that fucking meme dog from Reddit that's really cute too and i found one of those it's like two or three years old like a few miles away they're pretty cute also there's uh there's a bunch of uh these things in birmingham alabama i don't really want to go back to alabama i'm gonna try to avoid that but um you never know god damn it i can't find the thing myself i'm sorry it's just upsetting me i'm like searching weimaraner in people clothes and it's just not working i mean here's one zach just pulled weimaraner up in people clothes i'm digging the weimaraner idea for you i know you don't like giant breeds this is a good solid

dog that's big enough not to get damaged when you sit on it yeah but not so big that it's weird one thing you could throw this dog down a flight of stairs and it'd be all right yeah yeah yeah you know and um what was i gonna say oh one thing i've discovered giant breed dogs cost more like if your dog weighs if my dog weighs twice as much as yours the meds cost twice as much. Now we're talking. Now we're talking, goddammit. Alright, keep them coming.

I'm almost there, Zach. There's one or two more. But that was obviously, I mean, clearly just a guy behind the dogs. I didn't see a guy. Those are the dog hands well i definitely i like that dog more than the shiba inu huh as far as little dogs go i think there's a lot cuter options than

the shiba there's i worry about the little the the ones mixed with poodles are good because they don't shed they're hypoallergenic you don't get hair everywhere yeah i don't think wymeriner is really shed he's barely got any fur anywhere oh it just means you're gonna have a bunch of they look like they hate this there's no way they were enjoying it the dog's like there better be a lot of cheese in this wearing this fucking pink petticoat bullshit are there any other breeds on the short list um well the main thing is like no fucking pit bulls and i i really wish you could there was a box you could check on any of the pet listings that just cut them out but here's what they do anyway it doesn't matter

they'll they'll just they'll call pit dogs that are clearly that's great it's cutting there this is a good one it's cutting a. I just realized that's a dog wearing a wig. They're caring, bitch. They'll label pit bulls as Labradors and German Shepherds. So even if you were able to filter out the pit bulls, they

lie and say these pit bulls are labs and stuff. And so you're like, no, that dog's head's bigger than mine. That's not a fucking golden retriever. Get out of here. That's a no, that dog's head's bigger than mine. That's not a fucking golden retriever. Get out of here. That's a tan pit bull. His head is bigger than mine. He's got those angular jaw lines. Some of these dogs are so

scary. Like legitimately like their head is like, remember in the mask? Remember in the Jim Carrey movie, the mask when the dog put the mask on and its head was way too big for its body? That's what these fucking, show us that, Zach Mask, when the dog put the mask on and its head was way too big for its body? That's what these fucking... Show us that, Zach.

You pull up the dog from the mask. That's what these fucking pit bulls in Atlanta look like. Like every other dog has a head the size of a bowling ball on top of a chassis that looks like it was not designed for that head. It's a biting machine. It's a mobile head. I hate these fucking dogs so much. Yeah. That was a terrible movie.

It was bad. Aw, that's a cute little dog though. I watched Tenet. I think, did we talk about that already? I forget. We did. I liked it. We all thought it was good. If I recall, Kyle thought it was really, really good. And I was like, it kept my attention.

I'm deep into Alone now, watching that. That thing's pretty cool. What season? The one that's on Netflix? Yeah, yeah. It must be the most current season I'm in. But I'm mostly finished. There's only like four people left in it where I'm watching now.

Who's your favorite? Fat guy. Fat young guy. Fat guy, yeah. Fat guy with the nose piercing the septum yeah i think when we were texting about it like i said i loved that guy's attitude because he had the best attitude where like it'd be like day 31 and that you'd go to the woman or the other guy and they'd be like i miss my family i hate this i'm so hungry i haven't i haven't had protein in 16 days and then you go to him and he's like singing about like how he hasn't eaten in two weeks but that'll be okay the sun is shining and it's like this guy i like he very clearly is a like total expert in

everything who intentionally gained a shit ton of weight for 45 pounds yeah and it clearly like paid off in dividends like i don't know in my head when i started watching it i was like you have a thing like well can't you just store fat for later use i guess that must not be because most of these people are fit and this guy's like no i'll look terrible for the beginning who gives a shit i've got thousands of calories tens of thousands of calories to burn through here yeah it's it's literally fuel yeah it's it's uh it's it's the only way to play a game like that and i i've said it before but it goes all the way back to richard

hatch and survivor one now whether i doubt he was fit and then like got chubby for the show but it was clear that like when he got there he was like look at all these hard bodies look at my body who do you think is going to be better at starving for six weeks? I think I'll be okay. And sure enough, if you remember Early Survivor, I haven't watched it in well over a decade, but they feed you just enough rice to keep you going a little bit and water. And if you want anything more than rice and water, and not a big portion of rice, by the way, you got to win something.

Do you remember when they made the women get fucking naked for oreos and peanut butter yeah man it was wild can't do that anymore can't do that one anymore they had these three smoking hot women like strip naked for in exchange for oreos and peanut butter on national of course they blur it but the host is right there and the rest of the competitors are right there and they're all just like okay i don't i don't remember if they gave the men the option to get naked for for peanut butter i don't think they fucking did and that is such horse shit they such horses if you can't hang dong for an oreo then then get them women out of here that's bullshit and if I remember that scene, you'd think all the contestants would be like, oh, or whatever. But they're all like,

I'd do anything for an Oreo. Dude, if you think about how calorically dense an Oreo dipped in peanut butter is, yeah, when you're hungry, there's something about your brain. It knows what foods are calorically dense and what

vitamins and minerals are in certain foods it's somehow it's learned that and that and you'll have a craving for something if you if your body needs it sometimes and they just need fucking raw calories energy because they're so starving and keep in mind they've been standing on a fence post in the ocean for three or four hours like they're so exhausted to win the chance to win the chance to eat a bowl and like the last person standing of course wins immunity you don't get voted off to my no matter what and they're bribing them one after another to get off there hey would you come down for a pizza would you come down for some oreos and then it was like i can't remember how it went but it was like will you get naked and come down for oreos and peanut And then it was like, I can't remember how it went, but it was like, will you get naked

and come down for Oreos and peanut butter? And it's like, ah, there's no way they could do that now. What will you do for a Klondike bar? Will you kill your co-contestant in their sleep? Sponsored by Klondike. Kill your friends on an island. How do you guys think you would do if you were in the real show Survivor?

I haven't seen it in forever so let's assume it's like season one because maybe it's changed a lot i'm not sure i think i think that um i think kyle would do really well see i you know it's it's all about interpersonal relationships to some extent and like if that doesn't kick off well then you're just poisoned sometimes you know and they do stuff to mix it up i'd like to think that I could make some friends and some allies, but that show is historically so backstabby and snaky that they often target the guy who has the most friends or target the guy who has the most survival abilities.

I'll never forget this one guy. Back when I was a kid, I thought the survivor was going to be the toughest fucking buffest alpha male who fucking can survive and it doesn't and he'll just win and eat and be pregnant and win and there was a guy who could fuck he went and killed a goddamn pig with a spear nothing like that had ever happened they always just starve and eat rice and beg for Oreos. And this motherfucker goes and kills a pig and he's eating its eyeballs. And it's like, holy fucking shit. G.I. Joe's on the show this year.

It's over. And he's like making a fire from scratch. Inhales the smoke, passes out face and hands first into the fire he's been cooking. And when he comes back to consciousness maybe it only took five seconds it has roasted the skin off his hands and the skin is dripping off of his hands like that scene in robocop okay and he runs and he's like getting his hands in the in the river he's in the river screaming in pain and when he pulls up out the skin is coming off in like layers like it's it's six, eight inches from his head.

And so they have to chopper him out. He's off the show. And it's like, Jesus. Even then, this was probably 2001. He should have starved on the beach. That was probably 2001 or two or three or four, somewhere in there. But even then, that's the show I wanted. I wanted a show about a competent survivor guy.

And that's what Alone is. So I haven't watched a lot of it because i've been watching so much of um this space show but uh but i have watched some of it and i like it a lot i like the i like the setup a lot it's really good do something about the people who are just dragging it out though by by starvation like they do the medical thing i don't think that's a good way to yeah but if you were just fat enough then they're like oh you're okay if you watch naked and afraid i don't know if you watch that but i got into it for a little bit it's pretty cool the idea of them being naked at first you're like hoping to get a glimpse of puss or something and then it changes to like oh this is an actual lack of personal

shelter this lack of clothes it's part of the problem statement but it's 21 days I think to survive if not it's 30 and you can just go in there chubby conserve your energy for 21 days drink whatever water is nearby and suffer through wings

ought to start knocking out these shows left and right back to back with her he's like raining from conway south carolina the alone season eight champion survivor season 27 champion the biggest loser season seven champion the conway conman himself wings three more seasons i'm sure listeners don't it's a hundred days to win it takes a hundred days to win or outlast everyone else which takes like sometimes 100 sometimes like 65 you cannot just go in there fat and lay down for 65 days you've got to figure out food and shelter well he'd all he would freeze if he didn't get the shelter sorted out and the fire

and that stuff. He looks exactly like the kind of marine mammals who live in that climate. Have you ever heard of Project Walrus Man? Project Walrus Man? Zach, would you show me an image of Project Walrus Man, please? I'm not a huge fan of this, but this is a secret government program

that dates back to the Cold War. We had this problem with the Russians in the North Pole. Were they going to come across the ice cap with some sort of a hybrid super soldier? And so we had to respond in kind and thus Project Walrus Man. There's an artist rendering of a... So you're saying I'm not a failure? The government poisoned me. That was going to be the future of

the Navy SEAL combat squad. He's an actual SEAL-man hybrid. Did he shoot that fish? Am I seeing a bullet hole? He caught that with his bare flippers. Yeah, he didn't need the gun for that. No, that's for the rusty. That's for those goddamn reds. Yeah, he didn't need the gun for that. No, that's for the rusty.

That's for those goddamn reds. Yeah, I don't think he looks that hairy. That's enough of that. Of course, just an artist rendering, you know, that it's not a real photo. That's not a photograph. I feel like a fool. Yeah. That's not a... You should have said that earlier. I feel like a fool. I mean, we know for a fact that

China is already splicing people with animals. We know it. It's a fact. Whether or not it's successful, we don't know. It could be secret or it might be failures. We need to be catching up. Oh, I don't like that. Was it Harley in that movie? Oh, Tusk? Yeah, that movie sucked.

Not because of Harley, though, but because Kevin Smith, when he strays from the Jay and Silent Bob universe, doesn't know what to do. You know, they're making a threequel to that, the trilogy. Wow, no one asked for the second. Not Jay and Silent Bob, though. They're making

Clerks. Clerks 3. Yeah, striking while the iron's hot that's fucking mean well i don't know it'll probably be a fine movie i don't know if you think about it you know the first clerks and i'm making this up was in like 97 99 i don't know somewhere in there and then the second one was like 2005 i liked the first clerks uh i like the second clerks the most i really like the moopy world and they had that lord of the rings conversation with the guy and uh he talks about like and sam's mouth and everything and you're right. The first two were a good movie.

Remember they have a donkey show? I watched that in theaters with my boys. I think it ends with two main characters. It ends with the two main characters hitting it off and she agreeing to do ass to mouth. Alright.

That's a cool chick. Yeah. Good movie. That's what I they're just they're all having the conversation like like you never go ass to mouth and he's like sometimes in the heat of the moment you go ass to mouth and women are okay with that they ask for it women ask you for ass to mouth bro totally and then like the Rosario Dawson's character walks in and he's like do you ever go tell him do you ever go ask them how sometimes you never go ask that she goes

she says you never go ask them out but then in private afterwards she's like sometimes in the heat of the moment they're like hitting it off they become I want to say girlfriend boyfriend that seems committed and 1950s but they become well they'd already fucked because she'd got some man age in mayonnaise up her cooch as she uh as she so poetically put it when they banged before and but even though that he's uh you know supposed to get married that other great that's a great

movie i watched in theaters and that was that was a year where me and my roommates um watched like maybe only three or four movies in theaters but they were all just gems we watched that and that that i thought that was the funniest thing i'd ever seen until borat came out uh and they had like shown me a little bit of uh the ollie g show uh that they had torrented and um i i loved it of course i had no way of watching it uh prior to that and then we watched the borat movie and i don't think i'd ever laughed as hard as i did at the borat movie when they were having the running of the jews that's like the opening scene they're in kazakhstan and and they're having the running of the jews and they've got the big jew egg and they're a

screaming to like break the jew egg before it hatches break the jew and i'm just i've never seen anything so irreverent and ridiculous like like put on such a grand scale as well like they've got such a budget um uh the first borat movie was so fucking good so it's hilarious i know that it's political dreadful dreadful it's really dreadful like well you know it's during the pandemic so they got fucked over it you can i don't think you can judge them for that because because a the borat character is so well known that they can't really do that bit very much at all he he was it was mostly other characters and it just didn't work well plus the pandemic was happening so so much of it is like i take your. A lot of people hated it

because it didn't agree with their politics. And I'm like, oh. Right, right. You're good that way, but some people aren't. I think they made fun of the Proud Boys at one point. They may have even embarrassed some Proud Boys. You know how he gets people to say it. He embarrassed Giuliani.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't finish the movie. It was that bad. I got like 45 minutes, 50 minutes into it um because so much of it is scripted and it like like the the girl that's in it i found incredibly annoying like i bet i got 15 minutes in before i was like nothing about this reminds me at all the first borat movie and like that's coming off if you remember years ago after Borat he did one called Bruno where he was this like effeminate over the top gay

character and like I went to Bruno in theaters thinking it was going to be like Borat and it was just kind of shit like just not funny the way Borat was it's exactly what the Bruno character is though in his like if you watch

you know he's got ollie g bruno um and and borat and there may be another one but but like they all got their own movies you know but but if you like bruno as a character you'll like it i'm sure but like it just borat was is classic if i were to re-watch borat tonight i'd be laughing my ass off it's so fucking good so i saw an interview you know on a um stevo's podcast that that he does uh yeah you said with bam margera on there like via you know the skypers whatever the fuck and he was he's like dude the reason you weren't in jackass like that that's an that's that's that was an intervention you know that that's what that is you know we we couldn't let you continue. And if you remember, there was that time when I was campaigning so hard to get you in, and we were this close.

Remember? Because I was telling you, I was writing you a script of what to tell Johnny and Jeff Tremaine and the guys, the producers of Jackass, the big ownership guys. And it was working. Everybody was on board. And then there was the morning of the big meeting you johnny jeff germain and uh spike jones were all going to be in the in in the meeting do you remember what happened bam he's like do you remember you yeah you got fucked up and you didn't even show up you got fucked up and you didn't show up and the whole meeting was about is bam sober enough and clean enough to do this show so that was it so you've got no one to blame but yourself on and it was it was good i only watched like excerpts of it i watched maybe 10

minutes of it or something how's bam now he looks like he looks the i barely recognize him he looks more like his dad than than what he used to look like wait is he can you find a picture zach he's maybe a screen cap from like today's interview with steve-o to see because you know it's it's a look he looks but big beard like long hair in his face sunglasses on so it sounds like he's fat and maybe grisly but do you think that he's just fucked up and failing fucked up too everything yeah oh yeah oh he's so he's not sober after the year in rehab oh no i don't think he did any rehab oh i wish i wish i could find like him like into that interview let me see if i can i can't does he have gold teeth there yeah he has one gold tooth it looks

like look at those ridiculous tattoos those are some bad tattoos man he doesn't look that bad Does he have gold teeth there? Yeah, he has one gold tooth, it looks like. Look at those ridiculous tattoos. Those are some bad tattoos, man. He doesn't look that bad here, but today he looked dreadful. Like, that is not what he looks like. I might be painting some badness on him. Like, he looks like he's high or just been higher, but that might be my own mind.

I need to listen to this interview. No, it's good. I need to listen to this interview. No, it's good. I've never watched Steve-O's show before, but I like Steve-O. Oh, he does some good stuff. I also saw... Everybody likes Steve-O. You know, Jamie Foxx has been working on that Mike Tyson. There you go.

That's our boy. That's Bam Margera now. Can you pop around? I just want to see him in different poses. The hairline's going down. now. Can you pop around? I just want to see him in different poses. The hair line's going down. Yeah, that happens.

Steve-O looks great. He's held up the best of all of them. It's because he became a sober health nut probably 12 years ago or something now, right? I thought it was recent but he looks he looks the best of all maybe right i wouldn't have picked steve-o to be

the one that aged the best i would have picked johnny knoxville yeah yeah i'm glad johnny got i'm glad johnny got to do like movies inexplicably like like i don't know what happened where like after jackass became popular enough they were like let's just stick him in with The Rock and see what happens. Let's put him in The Ringer. I watched The Ringer in theater. That's another one that I watched with my roommate. So funny. We left work to go watch that movie on a rainy day or something.

And I was like, dude, we got to go watch this movie. He's like, what's it about? I'm like, Johnny Knoxville pretends he's retarded and joins the Special Olympics or something. He's like, oh's it about i'm like johnny knox will pretend he's retarded and like joins the special olympics or something he's like oh yeah let's go isn't it funny how movies like that came out in like what 2006 or something 2005 2006 and like they could not be mean be made now even something like uh tropic thunder they couldn't do now with uh robert downey jr with like the jokey blackface which at the time like i don't remember anybody giving a fuck just being like yeah that's hilarious it's making fun of an actor who's like obsessing over his at the

end of the day menial i don't think that career i think to this day no one has ever had an issue with that particular performance because he does it so well and there is nothing mocking about it it is like like like i i bet black people would be like yeah we kind of wish he was black now like like i kind of wish that i kind of wish that guy existed and he was like a guy i could cheer for more and he was like he was like my dude like like i don't think anyone gave a shit because he did such a remarkably perfect job and then you know part of the story is him laying out i'm just a dude playing a dude who's playing another dude you know like all that nonsense you're like oh man he's in but but the star of that show of that movie is fucking tom cruise

inexplicably coming in with he's he had two requests to do the cameo he's like I want to have enormous hands and I want to dance they're like what huge hairy hands and I want to dance you're Tom Cruise so whatever man you know what I kind of like Tom Cruise in that part is he didn't look good

he didn't he wasn't a hero Tom Cruise is known for choosing roles that make him look awesome right in that role he didn't look awesome he was kind of a piece of shit and he was weird and no one looked at him and wanted to fuck him no it was hilarious it's hilarious the dance was comical like like the joke was kind of on him he was he was uh i've talked about movies i've talked about tropic thunder a thousand times we haven't talked about the room have you saw have you guys seen the room the like uh jokey movie because it's so bad uh i have watched it yeah yeah it's it's dreadful it's difficult to watch it's rough to watch because it's i watched it so there's no continuity dude Dude, okay, I disagree. I feel like there's perfect continuity.

The plot of this movie couldn't be laid out any more clearly. It is just like, hey, Mark, how's your sex life? Oh, hi, Mark. They take you from one part of the plot to the next in crazy, super obvious ways. This movie couldn't be simpler to understand. There's one character who made the movie, wrote the script, and starred in it. And he made himself the absolute perfect hero in this thing where everybody is a dick except him. And there's a bunch of sex scenes which aren't half bad.

I don't know they kind of fuck sternums and tummies but out if you can get over that there's plenty of boob in it and i'm always down for that i got a big kick out of the room i think it's a must see i don't i think that movie was serious it's so bad the acting is so terrible terrible oh he's trying so that's trying why zoo that guy's name is Tommy Wiseau. He's trying his best. That is his best effort at making a serious film. And he's failing spectacularly.

And it's known as one of those so bad it's good. But it's what it's truly known as one of the top, bottom three or top three, however you want to look at it, worst movies ever made. I have a better one that is both equally as bad, I i think in different kind of technical ways continuity errors acting script delivery all of it um but also it's funny like

like me and dirty watched it while we were stoned or maybe on acid yeah it was just me and dirty everybody else was outside and we were high on acid and and he thought it was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen samurai cop samurai cop is is perhaps top three worst movies ever made it's um it's they're trying to do sort of a spin on lethal weapon where you've got like long-haired white cop and mustachioed black cop and they LA police officers, you know, drug corruption, organized crime, that sort of thing. It is remarkably bad. And some of the things that they say, there are these long, terribly delivered speeches because they'd only give them like one take.

And this guy's like, you listen to me, you son of a bitch. You listen to me, you son of a bitch. I won't have you here in my country spreading drugs, crime, and corruption. America is about, and look, there's no cutting. There's no cutting. America is about freedom and justice and being able to walk the streets and look yourself in the eye and know that still hasn't cut, still just on him going and it goes on with this terrible like monologue like that was like written the night before and

like it's crap it's bad and he just and and and they cut back to the other guy and he's just like get the fuck out of here you there's there's one part there's an interaction between whole movies on youtube there's an interaction between. The whole movie's on YouTube for free. There's an interaction between this hot helicopter policewoman and our main hero. And she's like, I can't remember the exact dialogue, but she's like, yeah, I got a package for you right here. And he's like, oh, yeah? Is it hot and ready? She's like, oh, yeah, hot and ready for you.

All right, well, keep it hot so I can come take delivery in a little while. All right, it's hot and ready she's like oh yeah hot and ready for you all right well uh keep it hot so i can come uh take delivery in a little while all right it's hot and ready whenever you whenever you're ready to take delivery they're just like talking about her pussy with double entendres for like three minutes over the radio and then there's a nurse he like he like flirts with a nurse and she straight up says something like hey you want to fuck and he's just like i think i do yeah you got a big cock and it's just like and then like cuts to the black guy and it's one of the funniest like meme reactions ever he goes he makes this little face like this lady's talking so dirty and then it ends up with like her deciding his dick's not big enough to fuck him. And it's just, it's just them talking in a hallway randomly.

Like, like, like needless dialogue. Then you get to the sword fights because remember this is samurai cop. There's only one sword fight. It's the end of the movie and there's no reason for him to have a sword. There's no discussion of him being a samurai or having any training in the martial arts.

But at the end he pulls out a sword and has a sword fight with an actual sword master and they filmed it so out of order that he had gotten a fucking haircut so as they cut back and forth sometimes he's got a ridiculous woman's wig on and sometimes he doesn't and then sometimes the humidity humidity is so much that the wig has like poofed up and like gotten short and silly. And the whole fight is like continuity errors and silliness. I'm watching the fight right now at the end. This is brutal.

This is bad. I also I scrubbed through a little bit. The blood color is the worst I've ever seen. It's like the person in the props department had had just heard about blood from someone before. Like it is as bright as a red Kool-aid all over the floor and it is looking for a bad movie to watch i uh i recommend that one um if you're looking for a good show to watch i recommend uh for all mankind and uh yeah that's that's all i've been watching recently i've just been binging for all mankind i'm on um season three episode nine i think and the beauty is episode 10 debuts tomorrow

so i'll be able to watch like episode nine tonight and episode 10 tomorrow i guess and finish the season off and they do a good job of like season finales are big deals like we make a major accomplishment or we do a thing you know um and uh and so i'm looking forward to the end of season three it's a really strong show that's where season three is it out yet yes like you're doing week by week or is it finished um that's what i was just saying only one episode to go and it comes out tomorrow that Okay, thank you. Ten episodes per season. I'm going to explore some more Apple TV stuff once I'm through this. I'm pleasantly surprised

with my first show. I think I'm going to try out Severance because I know you said that was pretty good. No. No, you didn't like Severance. I think most people do though, so I'm still going to try it. Yeah, try it. Here's my take on Severance. I think most people do, though, so I'm still going to try it. Yeah, yeah, try it, try it. Here's my take on Severance. It hooked me with the first episode. I'm like, alright,

a little slow, but this concept is fantastic. Gotcha. And then it just seemed like it was all fat, all waiting, all unveiling. And I'm like, no, move this plot, please. But maybe you like a slower burn than me. And I will say this about for all mankind there

is a point somewhere in the middle of season two where i literally yelled at the tv go back to space i don't care about your lesbian tryst i i don't care anymore like like i care just not 30 minutes worth of screen time it's too much much caring. Yeah. Especially in a space show. Yeah. No, let's be in Trish should be all naked. No, they should have a lesbian. I won't keep it out of space. I think you're getting to the, um,

I think you're getting to the episode eight season. Who's about to go up into space or who's going up in the, in the ship right now? What happened? I don't try not to be so spoiled. Apollo 15 just came back and they're like two years later and then they bring a better ship

and that's where my episode ended. Okay. Apollo 15 made a significant... There's a really good episode where there are two ships that go up at essentially the same time oh i haven't

seen that okay so one ship is when you get to the episode that's fun that's excellent maybe the best episode what's essentially happening is there's one ship up there to do some satellite repair and there's another ship up there i think going to the moon and so there's a bit of an interaction between those two ships they're're both United States ships, but the interaction is the coolest thing. I think it's the best episode they have. I look forward to that. Tremendous.

You want to call it a wrap? Yeah, let's do it. Alright. Brandon, anything to pimp? No, nothing at all. Hey, go check out that Wings of Redemption guy over on Twitter? P.K. Success.