Painkiller Already - PKA 612 W/ Jewel Thief Larry Lawton: Top 10% Prison Stories, Woody’s Special K

Episode Date: September 10, 2022

with Larry Lawton Taylor this episode of PKA brought to you by Blue Chew, Death by Gummy Bears, Wonky Weeds and of course the premier cum pill Lock and Load check that out we're joined with Larry Lawton the most dangerous man

in the world Larry I really appreciate you coming on I've been watching a bunch of your videos this week and I messaged Chiz and I've been watching a bunch of your videos this week and and I messaged Chiz and I was like make it could we possibly get this this there's this guy Larry lock and he goes Larry Lawton Yeah, yeah, I know Larry Lawton. He's got the best videos He's like he's a world-famous jewel thief that went away for like a fucking decade

He did like a year at a time in the hole late and he starts and I'm like, yeah I know could we get him? I don't know. I'll ask. And so here you are. So I'm glad you came on. It should be fun. I know I've watched a lot of your videos about, I don't know, the prison stories, and I'd love for you to tell some of those. But I'll be honest, I'm a little bit ignorant about your jewel thievery and your criminal, what got you into prison and that to me because i've talked to the guys have been in i i've heard those stories a lot and don't get me wrong i love yours you've got some unique shit but i'd like to hear about what it's like to be a jewel thief

and like how you got into all that everything i know about jewel thieves and well i'm sorry didn't wrap it it comes from movies so i wonder what his role was. Was he the IT expert? He's not looking like the acrobat, right? I don't think that. We're going to need a little Asian man who can fit in a box. Were you the muscle? I'm joking. Please tell us about your jewel theory. You know, it's really funny. My son calls me the other day.

You know, we talk every day. Obviously, he manages everything we do. We have the editors and shit. And he says, hey, pops, we talk like that. You know, well, he's called Junior. But, you know, he every day obviously manages everything we do we have the editors and and he he says hey pops yeah we talk like that you know well he's called junior but you know it's my son and i'm so happy that the best thing in my life is actually working with my kid and he knows how i love working with young people you guys i i went on and said hey dad he gets pops was he just hey you're gonna go on a show i'm gonna line you up on a show and you go when I said I'm away can you go do Thursday

I looked I said oh I'm in Fort Lauderdale Wednesday I'm coming back Thursday I'll make it back when he said 7 at night I said yeah I didn't have to rush back you know I came back during the day and then what I did last night and today I watched some of you guys videos you videos. I love the

lightness, the comedy, the off-the-cuff kind of shit. I believe in my biggest thing, and I spoke at Congress. I speak all around the country. I'm the only ex-Connor's honor police officer, and I'm not a cop lover.

Anyway, it's funny because I believe in young guys i really do young people you know they're they just learn different i was a great quick story i was in i was on a board with the department of justice for cops it's called community orientated policing service so you could say i'm not fucking refined and all that they're gonna come up i can speak to whoever i mean you know me meaning a ceo or a gangster well i go to this big meeting in the doj and we're all around this table and one of these says you know some of these young people we got to give up on piss me the up i'm sitting here saying i don't give a about this i hope they get rid of me i stand up and I'm kind of a pretty wide guy I'm pretty noticeable and I fucking grab my

phone and I slam it on the fucking table oh my goodness what's this guy you know I says can anybody in this room program their phone quicker than their kid at the time I had a 15 year old daughter and they all look man I said not one of you I says how do we do it we get the directions page one hit this do this fucking do this next page we get it done how does my 15 year old daughter do she takes the phone she starts playing reboot reboot reboot does it says dad here it is I says what does it tell all of us at this table i says that these young people they learn differently than us they're smart they they have different talents you people at this table are all i just said it like this you're all

bullshit i said the only thing we have over young people is experience my experience is in a place they don't want to go in my life your Your experience, you might be in the government for 30 years. Well, you know how government works. But you're not smarter than these motherfuckers. So don't ever say you're going to give up on somebody or I'm out of here fucking. Everybody look. So we take a break. The heat.

They said I was too hot. I made it a little bit angry. And the guy come up. I didn't mean like that. Bullshit. Bullshit. You said what the fuck you said give up how do you fucking get you're talking about allocating money for kids and this and some of the bad kids i don't believe in bad kids i always say i believe in bad choices but not bad

kids i mean this i've been around bad people trust me but. But most part, young people are the leader of bad choices. And who the fuck doesn't make them? We all make them. Right today, I'm guaranteed today I made a couple of bad fucking choices. I'm absolutely- I mean, you're here. Is this one of them? Yeah.

Am I gonna get roasted or some shit that I don't know about? So remind me, how old are you, sir? I am six, I'll be 61 in a month. Okay, so you're- I'm your parent's age. My dad's on the older side. So both of our dads are on the older side, yeah.

Woody is on the older side himself, so. So when did you start your life of crime like like what was the when i was a kid i'll say this um i used to steal batteries batteries are very expensive nine volt batteries for my paintball guns and stuff my little hobby it was like fuck this this battery's 12 fuck that i'd steal that that shit. But I never progressed beyond that. I wasn't going to get into stealing TVs and cars. I think we need to give up on Kyle as a thief. Yeah, it's not happening. He doesn't have a future.

Probably a good thing. It's amazing. I was 11 years old. I grew up in the Bronx, New York, which is a rough area. People know, and it's been, I was abused at 11, but I never, ever make that a part of what happened to people.

I mean, some psychologists said that's when you went off the deep end, and it's not true. I believe, listen, I come from, I was a rough kid. I was the youngest brother of five kids. I was the second youngest, almost to the bottom. I have one other sister. Well, she passed.

My point is we grew up in a neighborhood. We didn't have money. We lived in a two bedroom bungalow with a fucking basement and attic with five kids and a parent and a dog. My dad was a construction. He built the World Trade Center. He was on the job. He was the foreman on that tin knocking job.

Then he built, in the attic, he built two bedrooms for my brother and I. And we fucking always missed you. But, you know, I was a kid that my dad used to take me around. Back in those days, they were paying off the mob to do the World Trade Center. I mean, everybody doesn't understand how building works in New York. In New York City, if you want to build a building you better pay the mom and here's how to shake down works it doesn't shake down like i'm gonna break your legs listen you're gonna pay us two thousand a week if you don't pay us two thousand a week you know something will happen okay i fuck

you i ain't paying two thousand a week that's why the roman roman ring could never be made for 10 years that's the ice skating rink could never be made for 10 years. That's the ice skating rink in New York that took 10 years. Trump did it in six months. And Trump's a moron, too. I'm not going to get into that. The man could build an ice rink, though. So what happens in New York is how it works in extortion is they control the cement trucks.

So all the truckings, all the truck companies. All of a sudden, when you do a building job in New York, the reason it builds so good and they're not going to fall down is every truck of cement that comes on a job, they have to pour it into a cone. And if it doesn't stay in certain timing, whatever they do, they have to send that whole truck back. Can't be approved for the job.

It's not common, whatever it is. So what do they do? Subliminally, they just every other truck is not right. So they got to send that truck. What happens? You can't pour cement. So the carpenters can't go to the next floor. The electricians can't work.

My dad's truck tin knockers. The duct work and stuff, that can't go up to the next floor. It stops a whole fucking job. You know, and first they do is slow it down. And the guy said, what's going on? Hey, the trucks are coming in. You know, they're not right. We can't do it.

The code guy's right here. You ain't fucking paying somebody for that. And sure enough, the fucking then, you know, before you know it, now, most buildings in New York, if they're not done by a specific time, date, because they're, you know, they already bought all, they sold all these condos in this building. These people want to move in. If it's not done by this, they get fined like $10,000 a day, $20,000 a day. Big numbers. So this guy was a builder the contractor he wants to get this building done he won't want to get fined eating it to all his profits every day that

goes by and you're talking about millions and millions of dollar jobs sure enough part of doing business pay him the 2 000 a week treat that whatever it is you pay off well my dad used to do that for the tin knocks he was the foreman of the World Trade Center. So he used to go around, pay certain mobsters. I don't know the whole deal. I was a kid. I was a young kid. And then I learned the World Trade Center was built from 68 to 72.

Both buildings, two biggest buildings in the world. Took four years and it was done. And, well, I used to go around with my dad and do all mobster. I'm talking typical shit you see in the movies. I even laugh about it. Take out the hat and the cigar and the fucking, you know, takes you in the bathroom to make a bet. You know what I mean?

They had a flash paper back then. They called it flash paper. You could write on it. A spark hit, boom, just blows away. Oh, yeah. And it would be gone. So I used to go around, play pinball and stuff, and with the mobsters and stuff.

So I understood that already, that things were going on. So at 11 years old, a guy in our neighborhood is a big mobster. Well, his son was like 22, 23, and he ran the football tickets. You guys know what football tickets are? You pick three, you put a dollar, you get $5, you pick four, you put a dollar, you get 10. They're called football tickets. I even did them in prison. But anyway, so I was running tickets and this is 1972, 73, 11, 12 years old. And I'm going door to door to the teacher, to the fucking sanitation, electrician,

you know, all neighborhood. Hey, you know, you want to play a ticket? Everybody, yeah, kid, here's $2. And they put it on. And I was making 25 cents every dollar. So whose game is this that you're running? I mean, that you're selling tickets for. Is this yours or is this somebody else's that's scared? No, no, no, this is the mob guy.

Yeah, your son. So how do you get hooked up with that guy? How do you get selling tickets for? Is this yours or is this somebody else's that's scared? No, no, no. This is the mob guy. Yeah. His son. So how do you hook up with that guy? How do you? My mom actually took care of the mob. So my mom was a nurse. Okay. But when he,

she was like in that area, she was almost like the doctor in the area. She ever patch up some bullet wounds. She actually did to my brother. That's a long story. But. Cut that down. I actually did. I'm in my studio.

I don't know if you guys. What I did was I built a studio here, right, into the whole place, right? It's pretty cool to do that live. You guys can't see the light. But anyway, we built the whole studio. And I did it because I live with my mom and my mom is 89

and I lost two sisters already to cancer so I was pretty much the only one who could come back and help my mom that's really admirable I'll never regret it but it's funny when are you going to be back

I'm 60 I gotta tell you, I'm 60. I don't say fuck. I've got to tell you when I'm coming back. If you don't like it, move out of your mom's house. You're living under my roof. She can't say that now.

She has to leave. She has to go live with my sister. She don't want that now. That's true. She has to leave. She has to go live with my sister. And she don't want to do that. So, but she has to. She's pretty much on her own here. I don't bust her chops. My mother's been smoking cigarettes for seven years. You think I'm the fucker?

Tell her, don't smoke. Get the fuck out of here. Smoke a joint, man. You want a little heroin? You want a little... At 89, who gives a fuck? You want some crystal? Anything she wants.

I wanted to understand how old are you when you literally have a job for the mob selling these football tickets? It was a kid who was hustling the football tickets. Yeah, but you know to show up on time. You know what you need to get done, and you're getting paid.

Not only show up, you gotta pick up the tickets you gotta do that's a job i was 12 years old and i was listen to this in 1972 3 i was making 125 hours a week that's cash money that was a lot of money back then you know and i think back at that obviously Obviously, that's in fucking me. Then you're around. The neighborhood I grew up with, everybody was a fucking, I hate to say everybody, but we hung on the streets. We fucking did the drugs back then. It was the acid and shit like that was coming out.

You know, that was 69, 70s, you know, mid-70s. We did a lot of that. As a matter of fact, I remember streaking was big. You guys don't even know what streaking is, do you? Yeah, running naked through somewhere. That was like a major thing back then. We used to streak on the highways and shut down

highways. Literally. They make you a sex offender you do that shit now. What? They make you a sex offender you do that now. Oh, I know. It's fucking crazy. Listen, our dicks were so small back then they didn't know what the fuck it was the 70s everyone's dicks were small the weed was weak and the dicks were small classic 70s dicks

the bushes were very and small. Very bushes. So at 12 years old, I was making money, you know, and we did other things. Then we used to rob the stores. Like we had a big avenue, East Drummond Avenue. When I say rob the stores, we'd get a kid that was working in there at 15 years old. So when that kid worked, we already figured out a scam. One kid was bringing out all the fucking lobsters in the States high end out the back door into the dumpster we'd pick it up at night do it sell it to people on the street we're making money and we're all gambling and doing we were just hustlers you know we didn't cover money no we had no money i guess

and you know i remember my dad gets laid off you know and you're trying to raise five kids in a house you know i understood it i remember and there's my parents are the greatest meaning that way they gave us the support you know there's no prejudice in me they gave me things that i think i look at now that i try to give my kids or whatever but you know i remember playing basketball with my slippers because at that time they couldn't afford two dollar kid sneakers or whatever. But, you know, I remember playing basketball in my slippers because at that time they couldn't afford $2 kid sneakers or whatever the fuck they were in the Kmart. But I'm not ever bitter, you know, but I like the money, you know. Well, let me ask you this. You've got, you got your dad who's got like this straight job. And then there's you who's running around hustling. Like, is there ever a conversation? What does

he say when he like figures out what's going on? Is there a conversation? It just sounded so much like the movie A Bronx Tale. Because you're literally in the Bronx and you're running around the neighborhood with Mob doing little jobs for him and your dad has a real job. So far, we're beat for beat with A Bronx Tale.

I wonder if he had that Robert De Niro talk where he was like, that's dirty money. You don't want that. That's my money, dad. Leave that money in there. I love the movie. He knows the fucking movie real good. You'd be surprised. He knows them all. Absolutely. Of course, I knew where that movie was made. It is it was that time of year or same time. We didn't have that prejudice that was in that movie.

We didn't. In my neighborhood, we didn't give a fuck if you were a fucking green Martian. If you lived there, you were in. If you didn't, you were out, period. End of story. You know, it didn't matter what you were in that neighborhood. It just mattered that you were in that neighborhood. So my dad, you said like Robert De Niro was this guy.

No, my dad was paying off mob guys. My dad was doing the money he was like you know he ran that job which is the world trades and he had 200 guys at the time so he understood that was just part of life he had that yeah you know in new york that even his life i mean he took me to the bars where he went betting at 12 and young and even i used to drive him home at 14, you know, because he'd get fucking hammered at the bar. And I'd fucking, you know,

I made my first bet in a bar at 13 years old. I remember when I did it. It was at 12, might have been 12 or 13, but I fucking was with Vinnie Tremamuno, the guy who's in the Triangle Bar at Bureau Avenue. And, you know. How betting works, if you make a 20-time bet, that's $100.

Every time is $5. If I say I want a 10-time bet, it's $50. You got to pay $55 when you give them the money because you have to pay the VIG. It's a 10% VIG or interest or whatever. Now, if you win, you're going to get $105 back. You're gonna get 105 back you're 50 to 50

you won and you're big you don't have to pay too big on the win so you're gonna get that back so but see a book you don't give a shit he gets 50 on this team 50 on the opposite team he automatically makes five bucks he don't like running a poker game he doesn't care who's winning exactly and in a real good book he's like that i end up that's deeper down the story but so my dad was he's on the fringes if you want to call it that would pay yeah betty so he's definitely not taking you aside back at home and being like hey he's being he's probably, huh? That's not bad. All right. I didn't tell him. Oh, good. I might have got shaken down by my dad.

You got $500 under the mattress. Your dad's probably got $500 under his. You think he would have actually shook you down, took some money from you? I was very, very close to my dad. So you go from this 12-year-old running around the neighborhood selling these tickets and doing these little things here and there. How does that get to being world-famous jewel thief knocking down? You missed the whole fucking area. I know.

I want it. You know, Kyle, come with me. Come with me. There you go me he's here now from 12 years old we started robbing shit in the streets you know like I said the hustles so then we even got a guy with a car hustle we were getting 500 bucks a car

they'd tell you to rob cars and get 5 and then we would take him to a chop shop over near Pelham and split rock. It's in the Bronx, literally two golf courses in the Bronx. Figure that fucking shit out. But in the fucking backwoods, it was a chop shop. Any car? Huh?

Any car? Like you get $500 a car, just whatever car. They tell you what, not specifically any of these, any of these, any of these this year and up, 500 bucks, no questions asked. Walk in, drive it. Here's how we robbed them. In New York in the summer, in the winters, people would go out and start their car

and go in and get their coffee and get warm and heat their car up. We'd go right down the block and see the smoke come up, drop me off, jump in the car. The guy's up there 10 more minutes, that car's gone. It's warmed up. It's warmed up. Nice.

We got so brazen. Woody, it was crazy because what we did was we would go like people also pull up in front of a bagel store or a luncheonette and run in to get the paper and a bagel and the shit so what do we do we watch you're hanging out right out front near the media there he pulls up double parked nobody's in front of him he walks out we're walking right by him jumping the car right come some of them one guy almost got us turned around so it was going on was hitting the car but that you know it was and we had the keys yeah we didn't give a shit about it they didn't care about that but we would bring it into this area 500 kid 500 you know no wonder i fucking said fuck school i mean i was very scott i mean i

have a very high iq i don't mean that to be you know smart ass or anything like that but i didn't go to school i hated school i got my degree and all that later uh from prison really more than anything but uh what happened was i'm saying this and then my brain's saying wait this is trouble man i got to get out of here so i go in the coast guard i go i'm a retired veteran i didn't be no matter of fact, some fan sent me this. Look what he wrote. Larry Lutton. Semper Paratus. U.S. Coast Guard retired. I'm retired Coast Guard.

Well, thank you for your service. I knew that was coming. You get discounts with that? When you read the book, you get to see how good that service did. We robbed three bales. The – what happened was I go into service. I actually liked it. I did well in it.

Rose and rain. I was a boat captain. I was on the Freedom Flotilla with Cubans. I was on the first – the Sunshine Skyway Bridge in Florida getting hit by a tanker and all those people. I got a of medals and for that but i liked it went to alaska on a ship i had 60 guys working for me of course hustle is always in my head so who didn't want duty would be paying me 20 bucks and this guy and this we had this kid named i'll never forget i won't mention his name he had the biggest dick I ever saw in a fucking year. Say his name, for the love of God. Give us a dress out. What happened was,

he was fucking some weird dick. We're stationed in Hawaii. I'm on the coast of the Jarvis. And I had all these guys work. He's like 55 seamen and all that. Well, when we'd come into port, you know, I have to sign duty. He always said,

give me 20 bucks, please. Come on. He was fucking some 50-year lady this kid was 21 22 he's fucking some 50 year old lady whose husband died left him he could use the condo use the mercedes use everything and this fucker's skin was banging the shit out he was a jiggle it was really what he was. And we loved it because we'd see the captain fucking drive out with a fucking like Volkswagen. This kid is a fucking, you know, E3. He's running around in a Mercedes Benz. And we go to his condo on fucking Viking TV. So I go to the Coast Guard.

I did. I fell. I got hurt in the service. I fell and crushed my spine. I can show you pictures, the whole spine. And I ended up getting retired. And right when I got retired, this is 1985, I go right back to the fucking Brooklyn,

and I'm fucking back in the game because what am I going to do? I'm sitting there. Now, I had actually about a year before I was actually retired because they didn't know what to do with me before I was actually retired to, cause they didn't know what to do with me. I was getting blood taken for future surgeries. You step days, every three weeks I used to have to take a train from New York to Bethesda Naval hospital in Washington,

DC and from, from New York. And so I was, I had no duty or anything like that. And I just, you know, fucking was right back in it. I started collecting and i start fucking

muscling i was a pretty big tough kid i was collecting and muscling for a card game in new york down in queens underneath you had to have this is back then you had to have ten thousand dollars to get in the fucking room you know i used see 20, 30, 40 people getting this place. I'm thinking, pull that fucking money down there. Holy shit. But I'm up there. I'm one of the guys. You're watching after the money. What's muscle? Musclers ever

required to use it or is it just intimidation? No, no. Listen, if guys are coming in packed with guns, there's a war going on for that because that game is protected you know that their mob family run games they're not you can't you couldn't woody and kyle can't say hey let's get this nice poker game going over here in brooklyn you know and we get all these guys oh you can do it once it gets good make your money they're going to come

see you and now you're going to be paying people. You'll be their game now. You'll be their partner now in your own game. You've got a great game here. I'm glad you did that for us all. I hate to see something happen to it. It's every Thursday, right? You'll pay us. Did you ever have to go and collect on

debts for people? You hear about organized crime and it's like, there's always the, oh yeah, well, what if I don't? Right. And so the guy who shows up is the, this is what, if you don't. So like when the, when the rubber hits the road there, what is that like? You know, Kyle, that's a great question. And it's something I sometimes struggled with a lot in my life now because I did bad things

to people. I laid a kid's arm on my life now because I did bad things to people. I laid a kid's arm on a curb and snapped it like a fucking twig. I took an iron. I actually tell that whole story in the book. I'm going to send you all books. You just give me that. I appreciate that. I really do.

I'll sign books. You're going to love them. We'll send you cum pills. You're going to love them. They're great. We'll send you cum pills and drugs. Ten pages? How many pages?

Ten? Hey, listen. If it's about drugs and women and booze and crazy shit, I'm in. Orgies, threesomes, fivesomes. We don't have any literature per se, but we do have a product that will increase your semen volume. And we have some really powerful weed gummies. That's about all we do around here. You know, it's great.

I saw Tyler in one other one, one other show, talk about, you know, you're talking about, I'm cracking up, fucking saying whatever the fuck, and then you're whatever commercial you're doing. I know how they work. But it's funny, I'm thinking, oh, yeah. I take the shot. Fuck the fucking pills. You know, the shots that they.

What kind of shot? Look at you guys. They're all shot. I shut them up. That's what I wanted the shot. Fuck the fucking pills. You know, the shots that they... What kind of shot? Look at you guys. I shut them up. That's what I wanted to do. I want to know about the shot. I'm not aware of a shot that increases your... Yeah, it's called Trimix. Actually, a male porn star told me about it. That's what they use. If you look it up, it's called

Tri-T-R-I-M-I-X. It's a needle you put in your penis. Oh, this isn't the same thing. Okay, if that's our competitor, I feel safe and sound. Are you tired of injecting your cock with enormous needles? Never. Look no further. They're not this small.

It doesn't hurt, you know. Looks like they're mostly about getting your dick hard. Yeah, that's what I saw, too. Not about... Listen. The reason... Listen, I get my dick hard all the time. Me, too.

If I have too much to drink, too much to smoke, too much partying, whatever, then I can't get it up. I said, fuck this shit. I want to party, have fun, and get it up. I don't want to be sober and have to be perfect to get it up. That takes the fun out of it. Okay, so this is for getting a big hard one, huh? That's the point of that stuff? The longest one I had, Kyle, was seven hours.

Oh, my God. They direct you to the emergency room after four. I'm pretty sure they send you a certificate after five. You get a purple heart. That's what they call the play buttons for. What they give you is a reverse shot. Purple heart would have been a better joke. Fuck.

Purple cock. Purple heart. See, the needle guys are not bad. Oh, you're not even fucking kidding, Larry. I mean, I'm... I mean, I know all about insulin pins, but I'm just saying, like, I'm not sticking this motherfucker in my cock.

Why not? Because it would hurt like a motherfucker. Nah, come on. I've stuck it everywhere. I've put it in my belly fat for certain stuff. I'm actually curious. Can you tell me where in your dick it goes? Does it go in there? Is it sub-Q?

Like a base? Like around your balls area? It goes into the base but not on the top. What is the thing? It's got to go into the they call it, I don't know the medical name. But there's a chamber in between

is where it goes in. And if you have to reduce it, you shoot the a chamber in between is where it goes in. If you have to reduce it, you shoot the same chamber. All it does is really, it opens up blood vessels and it lets your fucking... This thing is unbelievable. I'm telling you, I should

sponsor this shit. I want to fucking get a sponsor from them. I'm going to stick with the oral pill because I don't have to put that in my head. What if blue chew worked? What if the way blue chew worked is you had to take that pill and stick it in the head of your penis? You had to get it all the way in there like a

coxapod. I bet that would be bad for sales. Listen, every person that I told this, and I found out all the porn stars do it do is anybody who's ever done. I understand now that even hurt a little bit. It really is like, you know, you know, like a pinch on your fucking thing. It's not.

OK, so, you know, this is an injection. This is an injection that's going to give you a hard on for probably longer than you want. But what happens when you finish? Does it just stay hard oh yeah i mean this this thing's just staying at attention no matter what like you can go around i usually can ejaculate two to three times but obviously at my age not much is coming out i need that shit just a poof yeah you need some of this some lock we'll send you some we'll send you some. I wish it was that easy. It is. It is.

It works. You got to take nine pills a day. You got to want it. What, did they put cum in me, and then it fucking just comes out there? It stimulates your prostate to create more seminal fluid so that your orgasm is going to be longer because you're going to be pumping a higher volume of cum out. You're going to blow the mind of everyone out there. If we were trying to fool people, we'd say to take one pill a day.

The reason it's nine a day is because it's an efficacious dose. That's all there is to it. It's ridiculous. There's a couple benefits. One, like you said, the volume is higher and the orgasm is longer. The pearlescent. It's white. It's a beautiful load you'll be dropping on her.

Pearlescent. Pearlescent. And I like the propulsion. I like the – you know, they did – if you're thinking it's on her belly and all of a sudden it's over her shoulder, then you win. On her face. Yeah, I was trying to be polite. But you know what?

You're right. I don't know why I did that. I don't think you aimed for her left or right shoulder, did you? I went over her head. No, Woody's coming in vats. You know, pillows. I'd love to know

and believe me, I've done stuff. I have docked them, hang out with friends and obviously I asked them. Actually, a porn star friend of mine told me about it and he said, I asked him, I said, man, there's something wrong. How do you fucking know? He goes, everybody's using Trimix. I go, what the fuck's Trimix?

He's like, you guys. He goes, come here. I'll show you. I Google it. Then he stuck it in your dick. Do you also do testosterone replacement or anything like that? No, not a replacement. I have to take testosterone because of my age. You're replacing the testosterone that you're not making anymore.

Yeah. Now, even with low testosterone, Kyle, and everything, I never had a problem getting it up. The testosterone has helped me with energy more than anything. Not anything sexual, actually. True. Yeah. Lots of energy. It kind of replenished my energy a little bit.

And the trimix was something that, you know, we were all at a party is what happened. And when you're at a party, sometimes you can't get it up, whatever the fuck happens because whatever your party. What kind of party is this we're describing? Because at first I pictured balloons and cake and I don't think it's that kind of party. I call it drinks and libations and ladies and music and orgy rooms and whatever. See, why don't we just skip straight to orgy rooms? Why don't you mention music and libations?

You've got to lead with that. You're burying the lead. No, no, no, gentlemen. In those kind of places and those kind of clubs, you have to go in and you get into it. Obviously, people don't know that. Any kind of swingers club or anything like that, they have the least STD rates. Actually, in the marriage community, those people who are swingers and stuff have a less divorce rate than all of them. Because they take sex out of the equation pretty much

in any marriage. You know, the guy wants it every minute of every day, the girl never wants it or vice versa, what happens. You know, there's friction that goes. If you're both on the same page and you're both swingers and whatever happens, you do your shit, everybody's there. I mean, you have your other issues, obviously divorces with money

and communications and a lot of that. But you usually don't get the cheating aspect. I've been married twice and I just actually broke up with my girl after 14 years. So I'm on the mark. Like how recently? Two weeks ago.

Oh shit, nearly recently. 14 years. But you know what? It had to happen. Forget it. Again, nothing over sex ever or money even. And any of my marriages, I'm great friends. I was just, I said yesterday I was in Fort Lauderdale and I was visiting my daughter and my ex-wife. And we're great friends. And my first, my son's mother, which is my first wife, we're all good friends.

We all, what I mean by that is we never had an issue. Like, you know, it was that money. It was me. I was a gangster. I was a bad guy. He didn't want to be, I don't want bullets coming at your house. You know, that, you know, I was just, I wasn't a good guy. I want to emphasize that when you read the book, you know,

I hope you all read it. It's a crazy ride. I was just talking to Netflix about a year or so. You know, I was bad and I look about it. Ooh, that'd be fun. You know, I was bad, and I look at it, and I want people, you know, I had a judge friend of mine, good friend. He reads the book after he knows me a while. I do my program.

I developed the number one program in the country for young people, and it's used in court systems and stuff like that. So they use it, and the judge comes to me, and we hang out. We golf, and he he says you were despicable I go what the fuck are you talking about he goes you only got arrested for about 10% of what you did I said judge

statute of limitations so but you know listen so in that game we were on the penis game the best stuff I've ever done in my life is that you know, listen, so in that game, we were on the penis game and in that game, the best stuff I've ever done in my life is that.

The trimax. The trimax. When you all hit 60, I won't be here, but when you all hit 60, fucking remember what we talked about. You're not going to be here in 11 years? Yeah. Probably not.

Yeah, me neither. You mentioned... Very good, Woody. I want to get to the jewel thief thing, but just to go back real quick, you kind of mentioned in passing that at one point, your mom had to remove a bullet from your brother. How did that happen? Could you lay that out? That we'll get into, I think, with the robberies, because that happened at a robbery.

And I'll explain the whole situation, how it happened. The bullet went skim through my head. I got blood here. And I'm ducking, and it goes in him. And back then, it was different. I'll get into the story when I talk about the last robbery. That was the last robbery, actually. All right. So where were we um you had uh you had come back from your your your heroically your heroic tour of duty yeah

so yes i came back from the dirt i was doing the card games i was on the card games i was doing collecting uh and again that's kind of a little bit but you know people ask me all the time do i regret anything i don't believe in the word regret i don't you should learn from everything you do would i change things obviously wouldn't want to lose my children a lot of certain things uh but i don't regret it it makes you who you are the next day no matter who you are who you become you start regretting things changes the whole kind it's like that old dynamic if somebody got killed that was your father and couldn't have been born and how many things change sure well i just think uh it's not about regrets you know i would totally change that part of me and i don't know if i was

kind of a little crazy crazy because i didn't feel anything you know it's not like you know i'm thinking oh i always justified it because i never hurt somebody who wasn't in my game i never heard a robbery uh person in store or only we protect people i protect kids that's my thing you know and but if you were in the drug game the robbing game the gambling game whatever the it, I kind of figured you know the fucking game. And you shouldn't fucking be in the shit you signed up for. But what I did was a little extreme, Kyle. That's what I wanted to ask you about.

So what did this guy have to do? How much money did this guy and how did he get this debt where you take an iron to him? Well, the iron case was a guy stole $75,000 for one of our bookies. That's quite a bit. Yeah, that's a lot of money. So somebody's mad now.

No, somebody stole $75,000. This guy stole $75,000. And of course, we got the word out. You don't do this shit. That's bad shit. Anyway, of course course we find some kids they snitch on them right away we know who it is and uh i was told to larry take care of this and my way and i said okay i took the guy yeah i don't know if you know new york city any of you guys

they have sellers there's like sellers you go down the stairs underneath there you know there's a grading and it opens up and then you walk downstairs. Yeah, actually, yeah. We had a cellar below the bar. I went and told the kid, a guy named Joe Cassidy. Joe, go get the iron. He gets an iron. We had a couple of things. I got the guy sitting in a chair

in there. He's 21 years old. He's a young kid. I'm only 27. What's holding him there? Fear or is he bound in some way? No, no. I'm going to tell you. He's tied years old. He's a young kid. Now I'm only 27. What's holding him there? Fear or is he bound in some way? No, no. I'm going to tell you,

he's tied to the chair. I got him tied to the chair like this. He had his hands behind his back and I had his pants down to his ankles. Everything. He's naked. He's naked all up here. And he's like this. Tied.

And I said to him, I was just talking to him. I said, you know, pretty stupid to rob these people. You know, why do you do this? What? I didn't do it. I swear to God. I swear to him, I was just talking to him, I said, you know, you're pretty stupid to rob these people. You know, why do you do this? I didn't do it. I swear to God.

I swear to God. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I said, really? Yeah. So I was getting hard. I said, listen to me. I'm going to ask you one more time.

Where is the money? I didn't do it. Right on his chest. I smell it when I tell this story. There's an iron mark right on his chest. I smell it when I tell this story. There's a iron mark right on his chest. And I can smell it and I fucking, he screams. I hear that scream. Matter of fact,

some people who've been with me said, man, I heard you at night. And that's, that and a scream in prison. I'll tell you about that story. So, I do that. Everybody's just sitting there. Stuck in the middle with you Now let me ask you this I'm sure there's a couple more goons watching you

Take the old iron to this guy Get him nice and wrinkle free over here Now are they Reacting like holy shit Larry's Hardcore or are they like yeah Larry make him Talk Larry fucking get some smooth You know it wasn't like that

anyone with the steam button any one of us would have been okay okay so they're that i was a little bit more fucking didn't give a fuck i mean i mean you were the man with the iron in his hand you know yeah they put you in charge of handling it. And then I looked right down at his dick. I said, I'm going to ask you one more fucking time. 69th Street, 12th Avenue, on the third floor. You know, I tell everybody, everybody. I love guys who think they're tough ass. Oh, man, you can never get that out of me.

Trust me, I will fucking get it out of me. Trust me. I will fucking get it out of you. You'll tell on your mother. You'll tell on your sister, your brother, your kid. What do you want to know, Larry? Exactly. All you got to do is show me. You know that thing in movies?

You just email me, man. They bring in the torture expert and he like unrolls that little wrap of tools when i see that wrap it could be the motherfucker he could be his lunch but if i see that cloth i'm like hey i see what you got there let's talk about what you want to know and you know you know that guy is not a fisherman in his spare time no he just has the accoutrement larry i want to know this this is so you're in his spare time. No! He just has the accoutrement. Larry, I want to know this. So you're there.

The guy's bound to the chair. Is there anything he can say to just make this go away? If he spills the information you're looking for, can he get away without punishment? Or is he going to get one burn regardless? No, he would have got away with maybe a beat, but not what happened. Okay.

He's walking around with a fucking iron on his chest. Now he is, but he could have just had a black eye. A fucking black eye, a couple of broken ribs, nothing. A beating you could walk away from. Oh, yeah. Well, he walked away. This one was a little bit rougher.

Yeah, I take the beating over the iron every day, though. Exactly. What happened with that, you just made me laugh four friends of ours we went we took us you know one of the guys that plane so we fly down to the keys from where i live and we were talking just about that torture story because they go hey man you know it's in your book or it's in places and people talked about it on one of the big shows and he goes is that guy crazy he goes all you would have had to do is say, listen, hey, I tried. I didn't get it. Here's the money. What do you want?

Let's talk about this. I don't want to get tortured. Yeah. Because I don't give a fuck who you are. If you got me in that position, you get whatever the fuck you want. If you're a smart person, all you'd have to do is call me and be like, hey, Kyle,

I know that it was you that had that $75,000. Now, be a good boy. Package it up real nice. Count it before you come. Bring it over here. Hey, bring $2,500 extra. You could say that, and I would because I would know. I would know that, all right, it's either that or I leave New York State.

A or B. Maybe I need to go to Canada after I pull this. And it's $75,000 at the end of the day. I'm bringing you the money plus interest. It's funny. Me being in that business. One time, I did a lot of robberies. They paid

me in cash with a counter machine. I don't know if you guys ever saw the counter machine. They go like this. If it's a counterfeit it shoots out the top that's how it works so they would pay me you know three four five hundred thousand in a bag they take out the suitcase i don't know maybe four or five million in it and i come back up to my crew and i go man i just saw four five i'm going back down let's go get this

money they plead with me no please larry no no because i was crazy and we were dead you know yeah you know what do i do go down there and get five million and then i'm dead like you said i left the country that wouldn't do it you couldn't just go to italy live out the rest of your life maybe italy wouldn't do it. You couldn't just go to Italy and live out the rest of your life. Italy would be the month. That didn't really kick us through. I never suspect I'm right under the nose. I got a ticket to Sicily. I'm out of here, suckers.

I'm terrible at this. I want to know about once the situation has occurred where he doesn't want you to burn him anymore and so he goes, it's on 68th Street, third floor. Is there any sort of weirdness where you're like, all right, well, we'll untie you? What's that like?

Like you just untie him and you say, get the hell out of here, or is it? No, I look at his dick and he blurts it out. The kid was sweating. I remember him at the end. He goes, I said, Joe, I said, Joe, actually got the keys out of the kid was sweating. I remember he goes, I said, Joe, actually got the keys out of the kid's pocket. They were on the floor and there were ankles.

He gets the keys and goes, now I got 15 minutes. I'm talking to the kid. I go, why the fuck did you just fucking tell me where it is? You're fucking telling me. You don't think I knew it was you, you motherfucker? I told you your fucking friends told on you.

And he's fucking crying. He still don't know what's going to happen. You can see his wheels turning. Is he going to get killed? And I just thought listen, the money comes back and there's only $70,000 now. No big deal.

Didn't charge him. Didn't charge him. Didn't do anything. Countered. I says, 5,000 missing. He didn't say anything. What did he say? He just did whatever it was. I didn't even say anything.

I said, okay. I says, Joe, let him loose. And I said, listen, listen let everybody know if they ever fucking rob one of the guys in this group they'll never walk out of here and that was it he was our warning he was the warning to anybody else to fuck with a bookie or any i mean people knew it most people that's pretty fair to be honest because i think that a lot of people think that that story would end with him just being dead over 5,000. Yeah.

On TV it would. But it just doesn't seem like that. I think you saw and you just knew that that wasn't necessary there. Like the message was sent, right? Like, dude, you don't have to cut my toes off. You beat the shit out of me and I'll get the fucking message. beat the shit out of me and i'll get the fucking message in this case in this case okay in this case uh listen it was a message that had to be sent that you can't fuck with you know any of the bookies bookies are all controlled by somebody in new york and they

have them all over the place that might be one of the this bar that might be one of the the car service they had car service they never moved uh you know that this one or it might be at the flower shop or whoever the is so it had to be known that you can't around with the people and and it was i see what happened was i used to come back in 19 i get mad have when I got married big mob way on 18th Avenue it's called the Oriental Manor we had the three holes we had a ball one for the cocktail hour one for the wedding and one for the fucking reception the gangs to hang out watch football and do whatever the fuck we wanted to do and it was a mob What a two crazy family. So we sitting there and fucking My my my new brother-in-law. I don't believe I'll tell you my brother-in-law is now in my brother-in-law Right

Him and now on the day as we're all fuck we had a prime rib and the lobsters on the day is You know, you know for the whole wedding. Nobody on the fucking dais ate anything because we were all fucking coked up. So my new brother-in-law and I are in the bathroom doing lines. In comes my

new father-in-law. Seeing his son and now his daughter's husband doing fucking lines in the fucking bathroom. I give that man quick. We're friends to this day. He ate something and he says,

they need you to cut the cake, Larry. Never mention it once. But like you said, a message was sent. I knew it. We fucked up. No more words needed to be

fucking said. To this day, I talk about it because it was amazing. We've always got a long break still to this day. I had to have a sit down with him when my ex-wife didn't want me to see my kid, really. That was taken care of one time. That was it all my

all my divorces were never a lawyer cash in a bag this time you do your own thing cash in the bank that's probably so much easier honestly we already have the bag so now let me get where we're at so do that guy uh no big deal obviously dude did stuff like that but i'm in florida now this is 87 when i go down i get married and i go down to florida six months later open a pizzeria a fucking lenny's pizzeria i end up burning the whole plaza down i didn't like pizza. But no, not on purpose. It was a thing. I was doing hot diamonds in the day.

I remember I had a good pizzeria. And fucking people would come in for a pizza on a Friday. I said, get the fuck out of here. What do you think this is? It's a pizzeria. You know? No. I fucking was doing hot diamonds.

So it really became a front. I don't know what that means A stolen diamond? Stolen diamonds Oh You can see Taylor come from the shitty neighborhood From a blood diamond neighborhood

That's the only way we made That's the only way we made You know that's such bullshit dude That's another fucking made up crap From the US Just like the bullshit That the fucking u.s has with this live golf because of chicago they don't want to deal with saudi arabia

get the fuck out of here all these fucking people on fucking listen united states love my country but we came to this country and wiped out a whole fucking uh a race of people to take over. Now, in God we trust with these pure people, get the fuck out of here. Doesn't mean I don't love my country. I mean, they were cannibals. They had to go. But my, you know, it's just, everything is maybe I'm getting old at this point

in my life where I'm saying, it's such bullshit. Nobody should judge anyone else. I think, listen, my biggest thing and you'll never get anything, is I don't judge anybody. I don't give a fuck what you do. I don't care where you do it. I don't care what sexuality.

I don't give a flying fuck what- Hate people who judge. Treat people who you want to be treated in common sense and don't fuck with a kid or an older person. Other than that, I don't give a fuck what drug you do, what you do on this house. I don't give a fuck you put fucking cages. You want to fucking go anywhere that i don't give a what drug you do what you're doing this how i don't give a you put cages you want to go anywhere i don't give a i'm a true i guess you could call it a libertarian so as a person that sees so much when the united

states says this or this i'm so bad i was in the coast guard there was so much propaganda about russia back then uh in when i was in the service in the early 80s. It was during the Cold War. We used to board Russian ships during what they call the 200 Miles Fisheries Conservation Act. It was in the Coast Guard on that big ship. And we boarded these Russian ships. And I used to tell them, hey, listen, jump in the fucking water.

If you jump in the water, I can get you asylum. And they're looking at me like what the fuck because they're told the same thing by their country that we're the evil we're both countries doing propaganda on each other country I got to speak to these people after a while

I said what the fuck they think I sat down I said what are you hearing about us and then I'd ask them most of them spoke English broken English all drank vodka, every fucking one of them. But you know, and I just learned about the hypocrisy or the bullshit, you know, what's right and what's not. Listen, like you just got fucking car goes to jail for pot. It's fucking legal now.

How about guys who got life sentences for this shit? It's bullshit, it's a money thing. And if you're rich, you ain't fucking going. You're a senator's kid. Joe Biden's kid is so fucked up, that guy could do anything on the internet. He's cool. He's the coolest presidential son we've seen.

I really don't want to see him get in trouble. He's not the tallest, though, and that's all I give a damn about. That'd be Baron. It's about how tall you are. Then Baron Trump's got that one. That's hard to beat. Jesus Christ. That's how we should pick leaders.

It'd look more like the NBA draft. That's a better system for picking a guy who's good at a job, if you ask me. The tallest? Yeah. No, why don't you give it to the shortest? Yeah, I was thinking the shortest. Because he's probably got a complex. No, no, no. You want a tall guy with friends. A tall guy who's not a bully, right?

You want a short guy? So you're trying to pick him because he has self-confidence, right? That's how you get Napoleon, right? You put some little short guy. Kyle, I knew it. I was slightly misguided. Get the longest. Woody.

The longest. The biggest dick. Yeah, biggest dick. That guy can lead. We keep going the opposite way. You guys are going to hear a story right here you've never heard anywhere on any show. Alright, hit us with it.

True story. I was in prison with the guy with the biggest dick in the world. His name was Roberto Cabrera. He was a Mexican. Five foot fucking six fucking size fucking six shoe. You can look him up on your phone right now.

I've been TMZ biggest penis. I am in bed. I am in bed. I used to do his legal work. I was in bed. I used to talk about him all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Larry.

I'm in bed. My girl hits me and says, Larry, get up. That's the guy you talk about. That's the guy. Sure enough, in the article, Yazoo, I was in Yazoo prison with him. He came to me. He got arrested. He fucking, he had his dick was 19 inches long.

Fat as a fucking Coke can, and the ugliest motherfucking dick you ever fucking saw. Oh my God, what a curse. I hate that. Was this the guy that we looked up that one time that inject a bunch of stuff into his dick skin? Oh my goodness.

Different guy? I was in prison. Just look up TMZ biggest penis. His cock weighs a kilo. His cock weighs two pounds. Yeah. Oh, you're saying I'm weighing it, right? Exactly right.

That's legit as shit. This is a great story of prison with him. He used to have to, you know, when you're in prison, you have to go through three metal, usually a couple metal, two to three metal detectives to go places, when you're in prison you have to go through three metal usually a couple metal two to three metal detectors to go places different places in the prison yard so he's in the middle of the yard

they have a guard station with metal detectors and like it's like a point where all the place like if you were coming from the library or the kitchen or the rec you have to cross into this little spot then you can go back to the units then they might shake you down in the units. So he comes through the metal detector

and they just head him down. And the guy goes, give it to me. He goes, no, no, mine, mine, give it to me, mine. They send him to the lieutenant's office. He goes into the lieutenant's office, strip, you know, from search now. His fucking dick, they fucking put a, from search now. His fucking dick. They fucking put a, there was a picture

in the metal, they couldn't do that. Girl guards weren't allowed to do that. They sent him to laundry to make a sock, like underwear. Because he used to do this.

A support garment. His fucking dick. a couple black friends of mine i knew him real well he used to do gambling shit i'd say yo motherfucking here's my man put your little dick over there away motherfucker here's my man roberto it would be below his knee That's why they had to build a sock. Oh, it's huge. That's disgusting, actually. Yes, actually. It really was a disgusting looking penis. I had to see it.

I did his legal work. I don't have a small dick. His dick used to hang over the side of the fucking wall. You know when he's sitting on the toilet? Imagine, where does his cock go when he's sitting on the toilet? Imagine, where does his cock go when he sits on that prison toilet? He's got to stand up or it could get flushed. He's got to hang it over.

Again, we used to ask I said, hey, you have a fucking boy. One girl, only nine inches. One girl, she couldn't do it all. Nine inches. This is the truth. He used to fuck a horse in Mexico. He's an outside the box thinker respect

modern problems require modern solutions I'm gonna ride a chihuahua is he gonna get the horse if he comes back with a little pony I'm gonna lose it just a limping pony I feel like I'm actually

at a friend's house smoking a joint with telling stories. So he would do it with a horse to kind of relieve some pressure sometimes. Yeah, I had to get out of there for a minute. Did you say you testified in front of Congress? Yeah. What was that like? What were you there to talk about? I developed the number one program in the

country it's called the program when i got out of prison you know first of all i didn't know what to do what are you gonna do i had a law degree though i still can't get my license so it's a paralegal degree because i'm a felon convicted so i get out of prison my thought was gonna go work for a law firm write briefs or shit but because i didn't want to get back in the business. So I have a friend come up to me. I'm out a very short time. Comes up to me and says, hey, Larry, I can talk. Yeah, OK.

Does any of you need a favor? I get real mad right away. Come out of prison. I'm not the right state of mind. I said, what the fuck? You want me to break somebody's legs and do some shit? Get the fuck out of here before I break your fucking leg. No, Larry, no, Larry.

to break somebody's legs and do some shit. Get the fuck out of here before I break your fucking leg. No, lad. No, lad. He says, I caught my 16-year-old kid smoking weed. In fact, this is now 14 years ago. Smoking weed and he told me, fuck you, dad. Where you ever been? I go, your kid told you that?

I'll talk to your kid. That's what he wanted me to do. So you get it with the iron. No iron. Come on. No no iron he's a kid wait till he's 18. I have a code Kyle no so he uh so what happened was I went back it just so happens I end up I used to send pictures of from the prisons I in back home, and now I have them. I'm with mob people and gang leaders and prison law. I mean, some

killers. I was in maximum security prisons. My one prison, we had 2,000 inmates, 880 at life. I'll tell you about that later. Anyway, we're sitting there. Not like yours, Kyle. Anyway. Yours was summer camp compared to this it is a camp yeah it was a kid yeah we had craft days we only had s'mores

two days a week it wasn't that camp okay i i take the kid i take the pictures i don't see the kid dad was a golf prom golfer anyway. I used to be pretty good too. Anyway, I go in. He has a gazebo. He talks to me for a few minutes. What else is going on with the kid? No, no, you know, the typical kid to me. I was okay. So I walk in and the kid's a big kid, but I'm a pretty intimidating big guy. And I walk in, I say two curse words the whole time. I said, you told your father where the fuck he's been? Let me show you where the fuck I just come from. Sat down.

Storytelling. This kid's dead. This kid's anus was cut from the top of his anus until it was scrotum. And he found seminal fluid. It was fucking, they cut his fucking anus. I mean, I read the report. I was there. Heard the screams beforehand.

I talk about that all the time. Anyway, so I tell these kids. and I was there a couple hours maybe, and you could see the kids' fucking wheels turning and changing. I leave, and the dad just says, hey, man, I really appreciate it. Larry goes, you know, he goes, let me give you $100. I got no fucking money. Give me a fucking $100. I mean, I got out of prison. You don't have anything.

They took everything. The government took $6 million from me. So I'm sitting there, and I got out of prison. You don't have anything. They took everything. The government took six million from me. So I'm sitting there and I fucking get the honey. He goes, can I give you a number out? You know, I said, sure. Fuck. Sitting there and I get a phone call from him two weeks later.

He says, Larry, I don't give a fuck what you do with your law. My kid said, I don't want to go where Mr. Law went. I need help. And he got the kid. The kid's great now to go where Mr. Locke went. I need help. And he got the kid. The kid's great now. He's married, 37 years old. And, you know, he'll even tell the story. But anyway, from there, I'm starting to, people call me, friends.

Talk to your kid. Talk to your kid. Hey, this is fucking great, man. I'm fucking doing my own thing. I'm on probation. The guy's, will you make, it's legit, motherfucker. Because I used to have to show him where I went. Because I'm on federal probation.

And I had a bad one. I had organized crime shit. So anyway, I get a phone call. And it's from Judge Ryman. Never forget it. It's her judicial assistant named Jean Bandish. Jean Bandish, she goes, Mr. Lawton. I said, yeah. She goes, is this Jean Bandish, Judge Ryman's assistant? Judge Ryman, yeah. She goes, this is Gene Bannis, Judge Ryman's assistant.

Judge Ryman, yeah. Cleaning. She goes, the judge would like to see you. I said, I don't want to see no judge. She goes, no, she just wants to know what you're doing. I said, listen, I know the law. You have a warrant. Some other way you're going to get me to come in?

Is the judge going to subpoena me? Whatever you do. I ain't seeing no fucking judge. I was getting mad now. She goeston i think you don't get it she wants to know how you're helping the people she heard about how many people you're helping i'm still suspicious all right they set up an appointment it was on a friday now since since this happened my nephew's past two is 24. i lost two sisters and two nephews both at 24. well anyway my nephew was here and i don't know what a computer is no less how to turn it on and do and you gotta remember i went away during the biggest time of technology

from 96 to 2007. when i went to prison there was really no internet when i went to prison, there was really no internet. When I went to prison, no ESPN, no phone. I had a phone when I went to prison. It was the bricks. I could beat you and make a phone call. I used to do a great commercial for Motorola. Beat a motherfucker and make a phone call. You might not remember. Oh, yeah.

And then I even had the one on the strap. But anyway, so you get out of prison. This shit's fucking Star Trek. Lady on the bus. She's got a phone. And I'm looking at it. How does this sound? I said, hey, can I see that?

I think about that now. She's nervous. Obviously, you can spot an undercover cop car. Well, you can spot a dude who just gets out of prison. That day, he's got the bobo shit. He's nervous. Obviously, you can spot an undercover cop car. Well, you can spot a dude who just gets out of prison. That day, he's got the bobo shit. He's white. He's fucking, you know, he's looking around like he's fucking lost. Yeah.

It comes from a rural area like fucking Arkansas or fucking Mississippi. So, I go on the bus, actually. In that case, I go on the bus. I haven't been on the bus in fucking all those years. I've been on Con Air and buses and shackles and fucking leg irons. I've been on Con Air 16 times. So I fucking, I see this girl sitting there. Holy shit.

I haven't seen a fucking girl. But don't let anybody kid you. The most thing they miss when they leave prison is food. That's the most thing you miss. Anybody who's been in prison will tell you that. So, but pussy's a pretty close second i sit down and i i'm looking at this girl i'm doing like this because i got no shackles i used to eat like this you know i'm free man and i but i have a bus ticket to go from forestry orchestra to tampa florida or the half of hospitals so then i get you know looking she's looking at me like i'm not something blind

girl she has the phone she gives me the phone now i'm thinking how do these big fucking hands touch these fucking little buttons this is star trek shit you know nothing i mean you know you fold it close it was a razor flip phone. So it closed the phone and fucking close the phone. I give it to her. Of course, next stop. She got up and didn't get off the bus. And guess what?

Nobody sat next to me the whole fucking time. But I looking out the window, I used to think a Chrysler 300 was a Rolls Royce. That's what it looked like back in the day. But anyway, so I'm just fucking this is like holy shit you know you are so out there the only glimpses of the outside world you'd had for like a decade were out of those like prison buses right yeah prison buses and planes when i got transferred exactly right i remember not seeing a vehicle or anything i was when i was in atlanta there's my plane with fame some fan sent me a thing goes i didn't know you were on the same page as al capone what the fuck sure enough on atlanta's website i'm one of the notable inmates that was in usp atlanta they got my charge my number and all that shit and who's in there whitey bulger, fucking Burke from

Goodfellas. You know, played Jimmy Connors. Where was Whitey when they killed him? Whitey was in Hazleton. I knew the guys that did that. Freddie Geese did that. Didn't take long, did it? Fucking, he wasn't on the yard for 12, I'm here in 12 minutes,

and I've heard 12 hours. Whatever. He wasn't on the yard. He told on a lot of people for those who you don't haven't seen the really good Johnny Depp movie. You know what people don't get? And a lot of it, I know state and fed prisons. There's no worse than federal maximum security prison. I'm not talking, everybody thinks, Oh, I'd rather go to the fight. This is the state.

No, you wouldn't. Cause what's in the feds? Mob bosses, fucking drug kingpins, hitmen, armed robbers, guys like myself. They don't take the fucking crackhead guy that's got his third strike and he got fucking three pieces of pizza stolen. You know, the feds, they have

the work and money doesn't help you in the feds. They don't give a fuck. You gotta remember if you're in a state, somebody knows somebody who's a working neck guard with the high school with them this all this kind of crap the feds is very rare and if you eat notable inmates i was in prison with willie falcon willie falcon was the biggest drug dealer worth a billion dollars he him and sal magluto were the biggest drug dealers in the country billion dollars billion The biggest drug dealers in the country billion billion and they would out of Miami Cuban guys to you So people say I'll rather go to fit no

I've saw fucking most fucking said shit in this pet. I'm talking to penitentiary not where Kyle was obviously That's fucking you know We I have a buddy as a doctor and he goes to prison for tax things a couple months He was the best dude. Two months of my life, I got in shape. I didn't have any pressure. No. The penitentiaries are fucking so bad. We used to talk to the guards. Now, every

penitentiary... Do you know what penitentiary means? It's about... It's a place that's meant to make you do penance. You're supposed to be in there suffering and reflecting on what you fucking did. What you are. I never put that together. Well, you know, we talk about prisons because that's what I testified in Congress, too.

We have by far the worst prison system in the free world. In any metric, you can even fucking come close to using it. It's the biggest. Ha-ha. Beat you. The biggest. The fucking most corrupt the fucking most a percentage Every fucking the first to last and when anybody tells us oh don't we live shouldn't go there human rights

What the fuck about the human rights right here? We are incarcerating our own people at this kind of fucking rate. Think of that. That's sad. Nothing is perfect, as I always say. I want to know about a jewel heist. How that goes down. You want to go before prison. Okay. You had me talking a story about

out of prison with the program. Oh, I know. We're bouncing around everywhere. Okay, I'm into that. I like all the little kernel little fascinating kernels But but but I want to know like how about this like like how? Today we're if you wanted to rob a jewelry store like we're gonna be your crew, right? The four of us are gonna knock over a jewelry store Where would we like like what's step one? We got to pick the place out. What kind of place are we looking for?

You're gonna to go. Let me give you two of those things. First of all, when I got out of prison, I had a couple of guys who knew me from the old days say, listen, I got a robbery. We should be 5 million.

I looked at them both. I said, let me tell you what motherfuckers. If I do this, I'm going to kill both of you. They looked at me. How you think I'm fucking with you? I'm going to kill both of you. They looked at me. You think I'm fucking with you? I'm going to kill both of you.

Because three can keep a secret if two are dead. I'm not going back to prison because one of you scumbags fucked fucking somebody's wife and they're all pissed off. And I know something. You're fucking caught for fucking smacking your wife around. Now you want to get out of jail. You know Larry did this. Go fuck.

I'm going to kill both of you. And I have a T-shirt that says, three can keep a secret is two a day. So, and I believe that. Now, what you just said, now I'm going to go,

Kyle, I'm going to go to the other way. I actually on my channel did that. Yeah, I could rob a jewelry store today easily. Yeah. I mean, let's forget about the fact that,

you know, you did all that time and you reformed and all that. Let's just say, let's just start. You and your prime, how are we going to rob this store? What are we looking for? We need to pick a place that's got some good jewels in it, but also a place

that's not Fort Knox, right? I'll give you the exact. First of all, we're assuming I already have my crew. That picking of the crew is very important. Anyway, you have your crew. We all have intro montages of our skills. No, there was no YouTube. And so the first thing I did, I did them.

I ran a crew, so some people didn't do nothing. I mean, they just did what i told them and most of them and that's what they were oh yeah you were following your lead here larry so what happened was i first thing you have to do obviously like you said is it enough money in it to worth it but the first thing you look at people think oh how much money is it no can you get away with it is there an exit strategy because if there's no exit strategy i don't't care. I was in a Robert place for 12 million. And it was in about it was in the fountain blue hotel where live the nightclub is. And it was it was called the H Stern

George case that did it was literally going to kidnap the fucking lead that the guy take his family hostage, bring them back with bombs, fucking wipe it off for 12 million talk the whole fucking thing through. and thank god i didn't do it jesus if there was a kidnapping there's a stat there's no statute of limitations on kidnapping yeah that's like 25 minutes what i talked about no there's no statue of women no i mean like 25 years in prison minimum like oh i mean if i did that i'd probably get life i was i was facing life anyway and i beat the gun charge.

That's what happened to me. I was going to get life. There was no getting out of me. But I won in a preliminary hearing. I won the 924C. It's a gun charge. And I beat the gun charge. That's the only reason I'm sitting talking to you guys.

Thank God you beat it. So to rob that jewelry store, you have to know to get out, obviously. Then, see, there were certain things I looked for that were important. Obviously, when you go and you case it, usually they were in plazas, like a Publix plaza or a Lowe's or other stores around, because you sitting in the parking lot now, it looks like you're waiting for your wife to come from the Publix or whatever, and you're really casing the store.

And I would know every fucking thing about that store. What time the mailman come? Were police coming around? Did security come around? Were there a building maintenance check-in? Did the trash come this day? What, you know, when did every employee come in? I actually teach this now to jewelry companies, jewelry prevention,

how to tell a person how not to get fucking robbed. But every time I walk down the street, I go, I gotta rob this motherfucker so quick his head has been. You know, because people get complacent. Did you guys know about the big case

that just came out a month, not even about a month ago? I just did a video on it because the guys claim they lost 120 million and Brinks said it was 10 million. No, I'm not familiar at all a brinks truck was robbed from jewelers they do these conventions they go from one convention to

another or whatever well they have a van it's it's from brinks but it's actually like a truck it's like a trailer truck that loads the shit in and then they take it to the next thing and it's insured obviously it's brinks it's a whole thing well these guys it gets robbed totally an inside job just go to my show look it up anywhere you'll see totally an inside job how the fuck they know where they're gonna stop in fucking nevada at a fucking no the guy's going in there's another guy sleeping in the truck Who the fuck knows that? What is it? The wizard? Anyway, that gets robbed. In that case, inside job.

No, no, no. Big. They're like almost an 18-wheeler race. Oh, no. Yeah, they have them like that. That was pretty cool. What does that much in jewels look like? That's Zach. No, Zach doesn't. Our producer.

He was here at the beginning. Yeah, he does a lot of stuff like that. It's good. Break it down for me because I don't even understand. Is this a daytime robbery where they're doing business and we're going in with masks and guns? Is this a nighttime scene type thing? Yeah, they're getting better. Even bigger.

Try again, Zach. Zach better, even bigger. Try again, Zach. Zach, we said bigger. I don't know if they leased it, you know, and then painted it. I don't know how it worked, exactly how that worked. But it was like almost like an 18-wheeler. But anyway, as far as the jewelry store now, first of all, in my robberies, I even knew which way the sun – It's a toy. I knew which way the sun... I knew which way the sun...

Why was that on the news? It was on the news. It was. It's the CBS news. It's a news article about toys. Unfortunately, Google doesn't have a large enough truck. So here's a reimagining. Well, Google, how about Amazon?

So anyway anyway you go uh i even knew which way the building was facing because i when the sun hits the glass somebody can't look in so there were angles and times that i would check these stores out you know my first robbery just to let you know was setup. Holding was a setup for an insurance job. I ended up making $150,000 in my own pocket. I said, well, fuck this. I think I can do this shit myself. And sure enough, I do. And obviously, I got better and better and better.

I had crews that were just unbelievable. I mean, I was so, you couldn't, I mean, listen, I partied every drug in the book. I believe in them. I believe it's a person's choice. Now, if I commit a crime for that drug, I should be held accountable. Other than that,

I'm not hurting anybody. Stay with me, Larry. I want to know how we rob a fucking jewelry store. We're bouncing around everywhere. So we know we wait for, we wait for the light. We know when people are showing up.

What time of day do we hit it? And is it one person that goes in first to kind of a final scope or everybody at the same time to try and make it quick? Good questions, but you failed the first part. If you don't know what time the fucking sun is coming down and not know if it's evening or at night, you know, if it's the sun's coming up and it hits the glass or the sun rises in the east, it falls in the west, west you know and a building is facing one way you know what time it is it's fucking dinner time or it's breakfast time or whatever the fuck it is so that's easy i mean obviously that count that mattered a lot uh because somebody because it

didn't matter and someone can walk right by that jewelry store it can't see in the window so it's like having a wall here the only way they can get to is going in how many people of your crew actually go in the whole crew goes in other than one guy i would depending on the robbery everyone is different uh i would go in always i would go in take down the main guy or my brother who now has been convicted so don't add it my brother would fucking come in with me and or i'd bring him in as a second like oh he's my partner if there are customers in there do you go or you wait till they're empty customers do you wait till there's no customers no it depends you know yes in the store but when when customers come in tie them up and they're not a part of the robbery yeah you know one robber one robbery i did was in sarasota

florida and uh so i'm doing a robbery now you know They have buzzers on the door a lot of Jewish, you know, like you have to be buzzed in I like them. It's not good for a professor It's not it doesn't hurt the professional at all that buzzer on the door The only one that hurts is the bunch of kids that are gonna come running grass smashing grab Larry they want coming in. He's got a Rolex. He's got a sports, you know, he's got a gold chain. Shit, here's money. We're going to make money with this guy. You know what I mean? Let's do business. It's a very shady business. We're getting into that.

So then I would fucking go in. Obviously, they want me. Then I would usually have a pre-story. I usually say I was working with HUD or I was working with, what's the organization that fucking goes and helps relief fund? Like, you know, HUD, where I was working. What's the organization that fucking goes and helps relief fund?

Like, you know, not Red Cross, but the government agencies. FEMA, right? FEMA. I used to say, I'm working for FEMA. And, you know, because if there was something in the area, we're checking out the damages here, so I'm going to be here a month. When I first got married, I'd been married 10 years.

I bought my wife a three-quarter car i want to look at something better and make more money every okay they talk to you the first thing they do is they want to show you what they got so they don't just show you rings they get the mother load i used to call it they would go in the back room never in a safe or in a safe sometimes but not mostly they come out with a box look like a a baseball card box you know the baseball card sure and it would be all envelopes now he put it on the thing and he opened it said let me show you i'd say let me see a carrot i'd look where he picked that carrot up in the box and then if i said let me see a carrot and a half and he goes this way i know it's not much bad but if he goes this way they're all fucking bigger diamonds i would calculate that

box in my head just numbers wise you know two carat this give or take quite it's okay there's half a million another rather or you know 200,000 whatever it is so they would do that they want me i'm their customer now. Yeah. I didn't use a disguise, but they never, ever got me right. You alternate yourself. You alter yourself. Wear glasses when you don't wear glasses.

Have a mustache when you never wear a mustache. Part your hair a different way. Color your hair with fucking men's, you know, the shit I use in my goatee. So you would do that. So and now I mean, I went as far as made business cards. I actually went into an area and this is in the Daytona. I think it was Daytona.

I found I looked for condos that were boarded up not boarded up you know winter you know the winter you know the winter shutters are up the winter shit I went to the base

of the condo I sourced the second floor I looked up the number you know where it was who was on it who owned it I became that guy and I got the phone number

and I kept calling making sure there was no one in there of course it wasn't it was already done. That's me. I would walk in and say, listen, I live down the corner. Here's my name.

Matter of fact, oh, I'm looking at nice rings. So they want to do your favor. Oh, you want to leave your ring? And I had fucking $10,000 of jewelry. I mean, you want to leave your ring and we'll have it clean. You come back in an hour or so. I said, said better yet why don't you just give me a call or i'll call you so if i don't answer don't worry about i'll just call you then sure enough he called me and i call back not

knowing or anything and he thinks definitely so actually one of those guys the reason i know all this the fbi one of the guys who owned that fucking condo that I did, his son was in prison or some relative was in prison for fucking robberies and he was like the same kind of age and all this shit and they thought he was part of this whole fucking thing now from

prison. They did a whole fucking investigation on that. I go, it was fucking funny shit. Cost them a million bucks. You know, they gave me a charge in 2002. I got the it was fucking funny as shit. Cost them a million bucks. You know, they gave me a charge in 2002. I got the same charge that Bill Clinton got. Filing a false statement. Getting your dick sucked in the Oval Office.

Filing a false statement. I got it. So once we're like, you're out of the store, he knows where you are, you've already made yourself a potential customer. How much time passes between that and you going back to

hit it? It depends. If I didn't know something, I might go back in there. Can I be honest? Let me stop you for a minute. It's always going to depend, but what I'm looking for from you, Larry, is an example. Well, this one time... No, you haven't! Larry, I'm going. I'm giving you a fucking tip. No you haven't.

Larry, I'm gonna start treating you as a hostile guest very soon. I'm sure you've seen, I bet that you've been treated as a hostile witness before. We're talking a circle. I want you to tell me a story. I wanna hear a story about a specific robbery. Just pick any one.

Do one robbery. Wrinkle freed. One robbery. I was just telling you about the Sarasota with the old lady. I can't tell. Am I alone? No, I hear you. So lay it out. How does

it go down? Again, when you say every store, I did 25 stores. Every one will be different. I'll give you a Sarasota store. You case the store. We go to Sarasota. You don't go to a bad neighborhood. You go to a good neighborhood, obviously.

You want to go where the people are. But in my robberies, they had to be in a plaza. They had to be in an area where there was a lot of traffic. The more traffic, to me, the better. Obviously, then you case it. How do you case it? You go to morning, night, and day. I'm there before anybody fucking gets there.

I know their fucking cars. They make so many mistakes. Every one of them. They never stagger people coming in or out. They all come to use you at the time, give or take. They're always the same time every day. And you know where they park their cars so they're easy to follow you know who's in there so you're gonna know who the employees are you know when the trash

is coming you know when their mailman's coming they have them waiting for them and everything they do is very big so sure enough sarasota florida i do one and actually it's near a dive shop like a like you know like scuba diving Two down from the scuba dive. It was good enough. It was three of us. I go in. I take the guy down. I get my guys in the store. They start working. One cabinet.

The other cabinet. I tied up whoever's already down. When I say I do it, when I walk in, they think they know who I am. I wait until they're between cabinets because they have buzzers all over the place so if they hit a buzz that's an alarm so I know they even have buzzers in their pocket even back then meaning it was like a keychain and they could be able to hit it you know that's how they would open the door for people on a buzzer but it also

had an alarm buzzer on it so I knew all this so I'd wait till they're at the right spot. They think I'm good, normal. I'd jump up, get down, get down, motherfucker! And they'd get done, get fucking in their face. I would transform in two seconds, and the guy's on the floor, back. I got slip ties, cuffs, done, he's done. And I never gagged anybody.

I didn't want anybody to gag or throw up and get hurt. He's done. Now he's done. I just tell him, close your eyes. Don't look at him or face his head towards the wall or if he's close enough. I said, don't you move. You fucking move.

They knew it. Never moved. Never did it. Guys are in. Open the door. If it had a buzzer, I would buzz them in. If it didn't they would know they'd go by and they're looking like normal people you know they're not looking bad you get the key is never be conspicuous you know like in south florida haitian drivers they always fucking go five miles an hour below the speed limit and they're fucking in a left lane they

can't fucking drive they're conspicuous you know You know it right there. Don't be that guy. Do things normal, whatever it is. Whatever you were going to do, you do not. If they would get in, I'd have their assignments already beforehand. I knew the store. You get the right shell, all the fucking shells. You get the left shells. I'll get the safe and

keep an eye on him and get the office where a lot of certain stuff is. You're cleaning them out. You're getting everything that's on display and you're going back. Everything. When I left the store, they sold the whole store. You ever get the wallets too? You ever go like the Pulp Fictions? Give me your wallet too.

No, no, no. As a matter of fact, I'm going to tell you, that robbery about a guy, I called him out and they left. So we're in this robbery so obviously doing a robbery these two old people they're trying to pull the door you know once they do this i'm still in a suit and tie they keep i do have the white gloves so i go over to the door open the door no no open the door they come in No, no, open the door.

They come in. I'm afraid of it. I take my gun. And I say, you're in a fucking robbery. The lady goes, huh? I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I says, no, you're good. Just come with me.

I brought him in the back. I didn't tie him up, didn't do a thing. I said, just look at the wall. I said, this guy was a bad guy, so we had a problem. But just look at the wall. They look at the wall. Now we're getting ready to go. My moron, I had a guy with me since then, but it's Jimmy.

He fucking goes around. We're ready at the back door. We give him the signal to bring the car around to the back. Dump the fucking pillowcases in the car, and we're gone. So this moron comes around, doesn't see us quick, and goes back around the front. Now we're waiting the door open back there. I'm like, I get so mad.

I close the fucking door. I go up to the two-plate. I'm just testing you. Don't move. I told you you got to wait five minutes. I didn't do shit. I'm not testing anybody. I go to the front. I go,

come on. He goes. We get in the car. We go. Those two old people were interviewed by the newspaper. Next day, they go, oh, he was a nice man. Just robbed the place $800. That makes so much more sense

to me because why make that, why give that witness a reason to like give a to go, you know, because the cops are going to say, hey, could you come in and give us a statement about that thing you saw? And if they're holding a grudge against you because you put your hands on his wife, he'll

fly across the country if you had been rude, maybe just a little bit too rude to his wife.'ll he'll fly across the country if you had been rude maybe just a little bit too rude to his wife he'd have been drawing sketches himself like no that's true that is true but it wasn't even that like i dropped the store in sunrise florida and this gets crazy i end up running so many people came into the store kind of the same setup but people are coming in and i'm flex cuffing them flex coming i had the total with the three employees i had ten people tied up i ran out of flex cups i used to have you know i used to have them for the feet and they and the uh hands so i

stopped putting them on the feet there for so i said, wait a minute. You got one? No, we don't have any. Because we only carried so many, you know? Yeah. So this one guy was mounting off me. And he's tied up. And I'm like, what the fuck is this guy? A cop? It's in my head, you know?

Is he a cop? What the fuck is going on? What is he doing? So I walk up to him. I look at him. And he's looking at me. I grab his wallet. That's where he triggered that. Remember, you said said wallet i want to see if there's a cop not i took his id just drew it didn't do

anything then i took his bracelet and i never took jewelry off anybody in the store even the owners or anybody you know what i mean i didn't take a woman ring off i'm not listen i'm not a good guy not that somebody's ring wasn't in there getting fixed. You know what I'm saying? I didn't do it off a person. So I take this guy's bracelet off. Remember the gold they had? It was a Fegazi.

You know what I'm saying? I fucking looked at him and said, you piece of shit, motherfucker. What are you doing? The fucking girls in the counter started cracking up. The fucking girls were cracking up, man. They fucking were putting you shit in the girl.

So he must have been a jerk off, you know what I mean, to them or somebody or whatever. They probably wanted to laugh at any jokes you might be telling because you did have a gun and they were tired of it. No, no. You could have have a gun and they were tight. You could have done a tight five and killed him. You could see all 40 years with a rifle. What's the thing about revolvers these days? You know, I'll tell you, it's so fucking crazy today. Guns and fucking rifles and shit. You walk out, you get fucking killed.

fucking rifles and shit. You walk out, you get fucking killed. I mean, did you ever encounter anyone who had a gun, like just a civilian in any of these situations? I'm going to go to the last robbery then. So we do the last robbery. Little do we know until now.

We case. This is in Fairless Hills, Pennsylvania. I end up casing the store. It was a good store. But when I case an area, I might case 20 stores that meet my criteria at first. Then you wean them down. What you can do, the amount of money,

quickest exits. There's a lot of reasons I did certain things. I picked on this one. It's about five miles from the last case I did. The case was whatever it was called. it's about five miles from the last one i mean the last case i did you know the casing of the first town or whatever they call it i do the robbery while we're doing the robbery

a lady comes up and has to put her hands you know close to the window of course at a sun i was telling you how it works so he's putting her hands up and sees us robbing the store so he put her hands up and sees us rob in the store my brother and i i see move both both it had to go i mean there's no stop everything just go now we have the car out front it was like we walked you know we pulled up it was again the car was a uh rent a car from florida with fake plates it was fake fake plates so anybody got them they never can get to us whatever it is and i always uh robbed uh used a non-district car it could be a four-door cameo yeah was it a camry or whatever the it was you know something that was normal regular cars no hot dump car so we run for the now first of all when we first robbed it and got in and put him

down i take six guns out of the out of his safe six guns let's do that put them in my bag thank god they saved my life at the end you'll hear this so i fucking rob see the guy go gotta go gotta go boom bolt for the fucking door as we go right near the door, see the guy go, got to go, got to go. Boom. We fall for the fucking door. As we go right near the door, we see the glass fucking flying. We're being fucking shot at. The fucking guy gets out of the fucking flex cuffs. And there's another gun there. We didn't even fucking see it.

We fucking shoot. We jump in the car. I get in, driver's side. He gets to the other it. He fucking shoot. We jump in the car. I get in, driver's side. He gets in the other side. Just like this, I'm looking right at the fucking thing. Put it in the, he comes in love with the gun at my head. I fucking go like this.

He shoots the bullet, goes right in the middle of the fucking thing. Goes through, skims my head. That little bloody skip thing goes in my brother's back through his back into his arm to this day it's still in his arm oh no so anyway yeah they know right so anyway go is we had to get away like something you'll see on uh you know one of these crazy shows movies and i mean the community was outraged that this guy's just shooting out how do you know we're gonna kill somebody else you know what i mean this guy was just shooting

well we get away again got away because it was well planned i had an exit strategy i knew the route to the t how to get on every major road. In fact, it was so close, we pull up to a toll. And I got a bullet hole right in my fucking windshield. I got to go to Brooklyn. We're in Pennsylvania. How I did it is I waited to an 18-wheeler. I got behind the 18-wheeler really tight. When the 18-wheeler pulled through the fucking booth,

because then you had a pay toll. It was not a not a shit you had to pay i had the exact change everything ready when he pulled through i pulled up past the thing so that because the guy's doing something you know what i mean like the booth is here i would pull here so he couldn't see the windshield and literally lean back and give the money like that yeah and when i did that on the first one it said be on the lookout for uh and i could see he didn't have any you know he didn't pay attention whatever we get on the turnpike and get the brooklyn uh we we again the gangster place and the place where that place was they had we had an apartment on the second floor of that took my brother up there and we did it we i was gonna drop him in the hospital if i thought he

was you know just dropping there whatever we thought we had that plan but we didn't need to do that we get to the fucking goddamn i clean up we get to the fucking thing you're running again gangsters we have friends we send out car to get the glass change for car with boom literally Thank God it was a rent-a-car from Florida because there's no stickers in the corner in New York and other places They have the registration in the corner. You know, what are you gonna do? And you can't get that Yeah, it didn't Florida doesn't have that so I had the whole fucking windshield In fact, I had that done when I had a half a million dollars in jewels in the trunk Again we had to get out of there quicker.

But anyway, get the thing. Now, back then, you got to remember, this is 1996. You could fly anywhere. There was no 9-11 shit or anything. You just give a name and cash at the counter and get on a plane. Literally, that's what you do. So we had that plan. We ended up getting him. We had him sent back to Florida. at the counter and get on a plane literally that's what you do so he had that plan to go

we ended up getting we had him set up sent him back to florida and i was gonna take care of the business up there which i always did anyway so he gets back and we were gonna set him up i call a buddy of mine here another wise guy and i said hey lou you need a doctor what do you think i don't know he goes but i got a vet i said all right My brother's got a bullet in him. We got to take the fucking bullet out. Well, he's also a builder, like a contractor. He's building Judge Torpy's house.

They set up a door and saw horses for a fucking table for my brother. But thank God they didn't use it. So he had it all set up when we got home my mother's a saint i live with my my my what i put my fucking mother through it's just i don't even want to say my mother is really she never cursed in her life just it's the weirdest shit

in the world but anyway my mother's been a. So she was working at a doctor's office around right where I live. And she was one of the head nurses at this doctor's office. So what my mother, we came up with the story that Larry and Davey were playing with guns at the bar. And Larry shot Davey. He came to the hospital because if he does, Larry goes to the fucking prison because he can't have a gun and all this shit. And I ended up fucking going to, my mother takes him,

takes care of my whole brother, literally takes care of my brother. Doesn't take the bullet out because she said it would cause more damage. Again, we were going to get a vet. And she took care of him with penicillin and all that, make sure it didn't more damage. Again, we were going to get a vet. She took care of her penicillin and all that, make sure it didn't get infected. What I did not know in this whole case is that when I robbed the jewelry store, I was caught by a major case squad from Chronicle

Virginia, the FBI, the best of the best. They are the best of the best. Anybody who tells you they're not is all lying. What happened was that they go in the FBI? And they flooded the area and I didn't know they flooded the area So when they don't fuck so when they fucking do that, I know what the fuck You know what I mean, and they went to every single jewelry store within X amount of miles They confiscated every single camera from every 7-Eleven or Wawa store. Because when I was convicted, I had a conviction from Savannah, Georgia. Me in that area getting a cup of coffee in the Wawa fucking store.

And they got me on film. So they placed me there at the time of the robbery and everything else. FBI fucking had a fucking crazy amount of fucking shit. And they kept catching me. Everybody gets caught eventually. What a... When you get the big score and you get all the jewels and everything,

I know you're saying like, oh, it's $800,000 worth of jewels. Is that $800,000 as worth what you could get from the mob that you were selling it to? Or $800,000? That's the total amount and you'd get like i don't even know what a percentage is like what i used to get about 30 depending on like rolex watches i would bring rolex watches in i would get 200 2 000 of rolex the regular oyster perpetuals i went for about 5 000 i did 2 000 2 000 so i had 50 of them i know the number right there. There's $100,000 right there.

So how it worked was like, depending on the robbery, if I got a million dollars out at store, $30,000, maybe $300,000, maybe you negotiate to $350,000. Maybe it's not good shit, whatever. But I used to get the good shit, you know, with diamonds. So that's how the money ended up works, you know, with diamonds and stuff. You know, they rob these diamonds, and the reason they do it, the biggest robberies lately, you'll hear them all.

One in France was $136 million. If the guy got 20%, you can't rob 20 million. You know, 20% is like $35 million. You can't rob $35 million in cash anyway. Anyway, you can't do it. And that's his end. That's the guy's end on that end. Jewelry is always the smart way to go in robberies.

And most people got caught by their fences. Somebody snitching it. You know, these guys robbed five million out of Tiffany's Jewelers in New York. I was out. I said, I wish I'd known them because you know how they got caught? They sold a fucking diamond ring up in Harlem for crack. And fucking, of course one snitch to another snitch whatever happens they end up fucking getting arrested now and if god

was in on that they could i would have bought the whole load for him for a million i would have sold it for two million you know what i mean maybe a million whatever interesting is there uh is there no you need a fence Is there anything Intimidating or weird Because I mean You're selling these to guys that are higher up In the mob Like scarier guys

I'm selling them to a guy who's connected to the mob But it's in the business You don't sell them to your next guy You're kicking up anyway Whatever you do, whatever you rob, whatever you steal Whatever you your next guy. You're kicking up anyway. Whatever you do, whatever you rob, whatever you steal, whatever you're a bookmaker, you're kicking up anyway. So I was giving envelopes to my boss. Okay. So there was, you know, as long as you were making money and, you know, earning, you weren't worried at all about like higher ups in the mob?

No. Matter of fact, the higher ups want you. I mean, you're the earner. You're the moneymaker. You know, in fact, the only reason I had to be with the family, so to speak, with the family, is because I needed that protection. Because if the other families would have found out that

hey, there's Larry, there's Big Rob, they're going to take me hostage. They're going to fucking put an iron on me if I don't have protection. So, when you have protection, when you have protection everybody knows you know let's see you can't with that guy he's with the gambino's or he's with the you know columbos he's with the jennifer whoever the it is who casey's it doesn't matter you're gonna if you're with one of those five families the others are not gonna you're not gonna start a war over some idiot trying to you know because my bosses are gonna

fight for me because they're making money yeah it's all about money don't let anybody kid you a fucking mob is all about money that loyalty shit is all bullshit all about money no loyalty just that's a convenient little look at it you want loyalty look look what fucking god sammy did to god look what fucking people do every day you know what people you know you can't even go like go there and talk about loyalty it's it's been fucking up now obviously there's certain people but you see it happening every day and so it's about money who's making the most money joe is a fucking boss of a family fuck a boss of a family fucking flip. What the fuck are we doing? How does that work? You mentioned jewelry always being the smart move for people who are trying to make a lot, make it relatively easier. So robbing banks, that's stupid. No reason to ever try to rob a bank in your mind?

rob a bank in your mind? Well, banks, first of all, banks don't carry a lot of money. Even if they did, you might want to go to a warehouse. I knew guys who did this, all the armored trucks that go to the warehouses. But even besides that, you're automatically F'd by the feds because it's a federal crime. Yes, because they're FDIC insured. So the federal government is insured so that makes it a federal crime actually a jewelry robbery is not a federal crime it i may i didn't make it federal my actual charge is what they call hobzack or interfering with interstate commerce under the rico act on the ricos and like murder could be in the rico act that's not a murder is not a federal crime whatever state you're in you kill unless it's on federal property or something like that, federal agent, something of that nature.

You could rob McDonald's and the federal government could make it federal because McDonald's gets its fucking French fries from Idaho. And they can say, now you are interfering with interstate commerce, which is called the Hobbs Act. You're going to get federally convicted uh federally prosecuted and they do it under the rico act for me because we had i was interfering with the interstate commerce all these robberies from different states and everything else so they made and they knew who i was they knew i was with their family in new york so they they

loved it but they didn't get anything out of me i went to prison for not telling them that's why They loved it, but they didn't get anything out of me. I went to prison for not telling. That's why I went to the worst prisons in the world. What would someone do if they didn't have the connections to sell jewels? Because that's the thing. I think we've discussed this before, like many years ago maybe, or maybe just a discussion I've had with friends.

It's like, why would I rob a jewelry store? I would then have jewels. I don't know what to do with fucking jewels, right? As a normal guy who's not connected well we just said that but no it's a quick answer because it wasn't placed like that you know you can take jewelry and piece it off

and never get caught you go into a jeweler down somewhere and say listen this is my grandmother's piece and I'm looking to get rid of it and And it's, you know, it might, maybe it's a 10, $20,000 piece. And the guy goes, well, he's trying to doesn't know anything about jewelry. I'll give him 10 grand or just shut up, you know? And he's not a report that he's going to take it out or resell it or

whatever it's going to be. And you just got 10 grand to walk around the street. If you're going to do something small or like mine, you needed the fence. You needed the fence in the jewelry business. Otherwise, you could have never got rid of them. That's how the guys from Tiffany's got caught. They didn't have a fence. The fence is the guy that, first of all,

even when the fence gets caught, what do you think he's going to do? He's going to fucking rat on the guy's will. You get the fucking jewelry. But the guys I had were all connected, and there was no rats on my case there's not one rat on my case how does the fence do his job like obviously he takes the diamonds in and gives you cash but like what does he see he doesn't sell the diamonds does he sell the diamonds to a jewelry store absolutely the fences the diamonds use like the fences are

usually jewels themselves or something that i was telling you earlier the jewelry business is so fucking crooked you know obviously i can get into the how diamonds go from debiers in africa and how you get fire and beat all that kind of stuff i went to the gia institute which is a gemological institute of america cost me 10 grand under the table two or four of us in it but i went in that to learn about diamonds i want to know about the qualities the cuts and what they mean because i don't want to get fucking robbed you know it's like knowledge is fucking king and anything you can't trust fences well again you got to trust yourself man because yeah i know what's there now it's a haggle of the price you know and they're not going to haggle too much because i'm bringing them so much you think he

wants to lose me to even go look for another guy? You're already giving him a stellar deal. It's hot goods, right? Well, he's getting the best deal. Nobody can ever buy his dynamite cheaper than he can sell it because he's buying it for fucking nothing almost. Depending on watches or anything.

He couldn't buy it wholesale to sell retail like he can get from stealing. Right, right, right. 25%. That's what I'm saying. So he's not going to get too – he's already getting this stuff 80% off. What's he need?

85% off? And not only that, though, not only that, they don't want me to go to another guy and say, wait a minute. I'm a piss liar. He's coming here every fucking two – twice the time of year. Fucking I'm making fucking – now he gets his price so if he buys it from me let's just say he said 20 30 whatever number he attacks on 15 sells it and he pieces it out i have i actually found out a lot of my diamonds that i robbed went to california and it was literally sold out california and it's funny because I thought later in years I

should have just opened the store and Rodeo Drive not give a put a hot looking broad behind the kind of whether she knew what the she was doing and sell and decent price and could have made a ton of money at right or did you know it could have did a lot of things you can only do that with obviously common pieces you couldn't do that with signature pieces. Anything that's made specifically for someone, it's a signature piece. They got to break it up and they got to make diamonds, brooches, whatever they're going to do out of it. And that's important.

But I think back after the fact, man, I should have just fucking kept it all, opened a fucking store, and I'd have fucking maybe became legit. Nah, never would have happened. Wouldn't have worked out when you had to replenish your inventory. I had a question from earlier. So you said that you never hurt anyone who wasn't in the game. That was part of your code. No kids, no old people. We'll give it to you in a minute.

But you didn't say it, but I interpreted like no civilians basically. If they're not in the game, you're trying to not hurt them. Did you ever lose? You're in the game, right? Maybe someone else that like all I'm hearing about are you wins, right? The time you made a guy wrinkle free, the time you muscle here, there, you undefeated in this, or do you have any times? I'm only defeated once. And that was by the federal government. Okay.

I never was shot or shot at. I've been in cars where somebody shot at somebody in the car and stuff like that. And I wasn't hit or anything like that. And fighting, we didn't fight. There was never fair fights. There's somebody tougher than you out there. Absolutely. There was a guy

around when I was around called Tommy Karate. That guy's got more bodies. He's probably on the internet. Look him up. I'm sure. Tommy Karate? Yeah. Tommy Karate.

That motherfucker. Sounds like he works at birthday parties. No. Joey Karate. That's Joey Karate you're thinking. No, no, no. No, they would kill him. Look up Joey Karate.

Is he from Parks and Rec? Oh, that is the guy from Parks and Rec. Oh, I is the guy from Parks and Rec. So this guy, he's incarcerated now? Tommy Pateri. Tommy Karate. Pateri.

And he was like a big enforcer and he's locked up now or no? Tommy Pateri is his name. Is he alive? I think so. Okay, I'm sorry, Mr. Pateri is his name. Is he alive? I think so. Okay, I'm sorry, Mr. Pateri. There's a lot of guys. You're right, Woody.

Obviously, I tell everybody that. Whether it's, I used to tell you, listen, dude, if you think your broad is with you because you think you got a big dick, well, there's another guy with a bigger dick with more money better looking better educated if she wants to be with him she will she's either with you or not now they're throwing that in that swing nah he doesn't want her like my girlfriend you know and and you're right obviously there were guys i knew to stay away from if you want to call it that. And it was just an intuition, Woody. Don't put yourself in that position

to get fucked, to get in a bad way. You know, you gotta read people, and I think that's what a lot of people don't get. The mob or prison, I think survival for me was more, it's not just my brawn, and it helps to be a little bit

intimidating. It helps to be a good fighter. But listen, I was scared of a guy named Tommy Broke Steel. This motherfucker was a crazy little motherfucker. You never feared the biggest guy in prison. I never slept ever.

For 11 straight years, I never, ever slept past 6 o'clock in the morning. Ever. I got up, I had my boots on past 6 o'clock in the morning. Ever. I got up. I had my boots on. And I was ready. Because when they opened that door, how do I know? The night before, I walked down the tier.

And you look in a cell. And there's a guy fucking a guy. Another guy shooting heroin. Another this, this. They're crazy already. Long's going to steal my fucking blood. Long's going to steal my dope. And I have no idea. I don't know. I never even saw it to steal my dope and i have no i don't know i never even saw it you know i mean i don't know in prison it's a whole different did you look in

the cells when you walked by i thought that was a would you look in the cells when you walk by that's a faux pas bro no what i'm saying he thinks you did is what i'm saying oh i follow i follow yeah i mean you listen in prison you don't even go to the cell. You knock on the frame when the door's open. You don't, that's my house. So, you know, like when you're walking down the tier, you're not looking in the cells, but he might show you, go by. I take a long look in my cell.

He show me, fuck, he knows I got the dope in here. He's fucking crazy anyway. Yeah. So I've seen guys get killed by being in their bed in the morning. So when the doors are cracked, you put your boots on, you sneak this, and you go out, get your coffee, and talk to your friends or whatever you do. But you just don't know if you did something to someone. Tension in prisons is crazy. In a penitentiary, I watched a kid come to a sad story

because he'd come to prison. He didn't know, pissed somebody off. He was to prison. He didn't know piss somebody off. He was in the shower, didn't know to go with someone. I don't mean go in it. Of course you go up and you and me are buddies. You wait out front while I take you know, I went in there. Now you see three guys come and you hit the wall. And fucking I'm putting my boots on. I don't give a shit my dick there. I got my shank in my hand and we can fight.

You know, there's more of it. That's how you prevent things. This kid didn't know it. And he was stabbed in the fucking shower. He fell down in the water. Didn't go down the drain. It's all blood going straight down the T. I won't forget that. And it gives you a fucking heads up.

Did he die? Yes. Yeah, he did die. He did die. What did you know? You know, when someone in prison dies, he did die. He did die? What did he do? You know when someone in prison dies when they recount? Because that count is an official count to Washington, D.C., actually to the Bureau of Prisons. So another biggest corrupt fucking mafia gang in the world.

What did this guy do, or what was his perceived slight that got him stabbed? You know, I don't know the whole story story but it was somewhere he pissed off these guys and i don't know he was a young kid he was pretty new in prison he's probably 22. the reason i started what i did when i got out is because i saw too many kids young prison come in there and they up i mean i'm not saying everybody it's how you handle yourself it's a lot of things. But I've heard rapes. It's not every day, but I don't even get raped. To this minute, it boggles my mind. Because I, Larry Lawton, could not get a fucking hard-on to fuck somebody who don't want to be fucked. It's here.

Unless it's Trimix. It's here. Unless it's Trimix. My point is, it really boggles my mind. Because I really couldn't get an erection I don't care if I'm a guy or girl Whatever your preference is in life It doesn't matter

I couldn't And I never could get wrapped around my head There's only one way to find out Then I'm going to sit there with a limp dick How embarrassing Yeah He's a rapist He couldn't get it up Oh that's funny How embarrassing. Here's a rapist.

Get it up. Oh, that's funny. So, you see on TV and movies and everything how much the rape has played up and everything. Was it as just as big? No. It's more coercion rape if you want to call it that.

I've seen so much crazy shit in prison. I've seen guards fucking used to take this one inmate out to clean in between the cells and he was getting blowjobs and fucking the inmate was getting blowjobs and fucking the guard. It was fucking crazy, crazy shit. But the, you see, you do see him and you'll hear him. The worst thing I've ever heard. And I kind of touched on earlier

you know it's about nine o'clock and we have a countdown at uh lockdown at 9 30 and we hear screaming and i mean i'm not talking about kids i'm not talking about you know playing around i'm talking a man screaming for his life and we knew he was but we couldn't get up to that tier because the fucking tier is locked down ready for lockdown and they're screaming lockdown everybody goes you know everybody gets to their cells now it's early whatever you see everybody come running you don't see anything from there and the next morning you get out of the cell and uh look up to the cell and there's crime scene tape across the cell the the door, because you will get charged for a fucking crime in prison.

So anyway, there's crime scene tape, and I told you, I never slept past six, so I'm out at the table. One of our friends who works at the medical, you know, the infirmary, comes in with a piece of paper. I'll never forget it, and I remember the screen. He said, you guys got to read this. And it said, I have a picture of the kid in my program, I think. It was his Facebook app, you know what I mean, because he's alive. It said, inmate's blank anus was cut with a sharp object from the top of the anus until the scrotum and seminal fluid was found. And it had doctor report on the test and shit.

I'm like, I read it twice. Why did they cut his ass? You know, you know, Roberto, I believe Roberto. He's the only one. That was good. I never thought it out. You know, that is true. But what you say is it really, it boggles your mind.

Cause why would someone cut someone? They want a tight ass and all that kind of shit. Cause rape again, it's not a crime of sex. Rape is a crime of violence. I've heard that. But they cut this kid and he didn't die. We knew that he ended up going to infirmary.

They stitched them up. But just even to this minute in this day, when I tell a story like that, my fucking head thinks, you know, fuck. I mean, you know, touch between your fucking legs. You taint and think about it. It's nightmarish. It really is.

And you think about what that kid's going through for the rest of his life. You know, that's the worst kind of a rape if you want to. I mean, I heard other rapes. I did an interview with a guy named Bill Dillon. You guys should have him on your show. Bill Dillon. want to i mean i heard other rapes i did an interview with a guy named bill dylan you guys should have him on your show bill dylan anyway he did 27 years at florida state prison found innocent they gave him a year yeah all the game was a million three they should have blew them every day of their live anyway that does sound better he was gang he tells the story i take the million three he was gang raider his first day in first

day in prison by five guys put a pillowcase over his head fuck he was a 21 year old blonde surfer boy right here from melbourne let me ask you what do you think he could have done to prevent that probably nothing right because he can't beat up again no no that's not in the card could he have just maybe he was not quiet enough did he get attention in some way first day woody if it was down the line i'd say maybe he didn't hook up with the right people he just didn't know what he was doing didn't know the area the prisons didn't know what was going on who to connect with that kind of thing maybe he didn't you know did stupid things that just didn't play

survivor right and make the right alliances and stuff right right yeah i mean he again if he was in there longer before it happened he could have did a lot of things uh and then i would have said maybe but you know this is just some it's like can you prevent a robbery in front of your house right now that's going to happen you know if a guy comes you up to you with a gun in your head right now that's going to happen you know if a guy comes you up to you with a gun in your head not you knew about it so you think you're just a victim of being born in that body like he just wasn't a tough guy he wasn't not only tough guy he was 21 years old he was a blonde head surfer boy good-looking kid uh whatever you say it matters you know and he was vulnerable but you know they didn't pick on listen like else, there's two types of people

in prison. It's called predators who prey. I was a predator, but I didn't prey on people. There's a difference. I stabbed two people in prison. I got stabbed twice myself. Spare. You're going to do it.

I don't think it was fair. You stabbed two people people you got stabbed twice yeah this is like double balanced accounting I didn't hurt anybody that wasn't in my business they're all in that business no I actually did hurt people you know that I mean just putting the fear

I did and all the stuff I did I never want to take that and you know that i mean just putting the fear i did and all the stuff i did i never want to take that lightly you know listen i really did fear of you know people but people got to get over these that matters too so i tell my story super quick because the audience has heard it before when i was a teenager my house was robbed repeatedly again and again and again the guy would come in steal cash from our house and and come out. We blamed each other at first. We didn't know what was up. Turned out there was a guy.

One night I was up super late, and I heard him creeping up the basement stairs. Holy shit. I opened the door. I started screaming at him. He fell down the stairs, and then he ran away, and we didn't catch him. The police came with their canine dogs and everything, but I think they caught him later. I read a guy that sort of fit the description in the paper, et cetera. All right. Nothing there. For the next 10 years, I had night terrors. I used to sleep downstairs on the couch. That's

how I heard him. And I slept with a knife under the couch. I didn't feel safe in my own home anymore. It was violated. So I take my pretty mild thing, right? A guy came in taking cash. I don't think he had any violent intentions. He just wanted cash. I've always said that's terrifying. Anybody who minimizes that, your home is where you feel safe. If you've ever come home early or been home and someone comes into your house, who has every right to, your spouse, your loved one or wherever, they're home, but you didn't. Kyle, your mic dropped out, but yeah. To talk over him while he fixes that. Yeah, that was it.

I didn't feel safe in my own home anymore. And that was a really big deal. Having said that, if I was walking home from work and abducted off the sidewalk, I'm not sure I'd feel safe anywhere. Like it just, so anyway, you just put it here to people. i know what it's like to be on the other side i know what you're saying booty i got my golf clubs robbed and i felt like what the mother i wanted to kill these kids whoever did it and i was so mad and obviously here i am the biggest robber and i'm mad that this one but i got golf i didn't have money and

my buddy gives me golf clubs and they get robbed out of the trunk. And I'm fucking, I mean, I am. And somebody said, Larry, you robbed fucking, you know, 18 million. You fucking robbed 25,000. You robbed, you're a kid now. You're way ahead. It's karma, Larry. My point, I do get what you're saying with the fear thing. But I also do believe, again, I made amends for a lot of things.

And people, you know, took my apologies and stuff. Because it's never right. But you got to get over it. You can let anything in your life kill you. I got abused at 11 years old. I can make that destroy my whole life. You know, it's everybody's fault but mine. It's everybody did this, I'm this.

I'm this crazy. Were you hit? Was it sexual abuse? What happened? Yeah, 11 years old by a priest. And it's my book and actually my writer got it out and again i could vilify i'm not really i don't believe in anything but that's here or there the you can make a lot of excuses in your life you could blame this one everybody and do everything in the world i always took i was tortured i don't know if you knew that. I was strapped down naked, beaten and tortured

for 11 straight months, broken ribs, document, FBI came everything, fucking fired people, everything. Because I was fighting the abuses of people in prison. The prison killed three of my friends, literally killed. Medically and stuff. I mean, literally one guy was puking up his lungs and guts and they didn't get him out of his cell for 30 minutes because they didn't find a key and they didn't give a and they came on another anyway i started writing articles it was a big article i wrote that in

the what the arctic beacon was called uh i compared the united states prison system abu garab abu garab was the prison in iraq that where we remember we tortured the iraqis well i compared the united states prison system to that and worse and worse because it was going on they took me out of my cell once a month they have to break and rip they strip you naked and they put you in a in on a slab and it's called four point. And I remember, yeah, they go into these things and the guy takes his dick out, pees on my face and he says, keep writing Senator's law, keep writing. And the guy spitting on me and they leave me there

and then they put me back in the cell. And then, and I was getting maced. I got maced concussion, grenaded and shocked. I was fighting, I was fighting them, and I learned that you can't fight them physically. You can't. When I got smart is when I started getting more effect

on them and answers, or even higher-ups and senators involved. So it does help. It's all bullshit politics, but it does work. And I think if it wasn't for that, my father father who set things up how they were stealing my mail the the uh the the Postmaster General will arrest their mother they I get the warden come down on my I'm in the hole he goes Lawton he goes this Lieutenant's

gonna pick up your mail every day the other one was the other guy was fired the other guy was demoted is that good who the am I I'm a lonely mate the prison what the you telling me this for we found out because they were stealing my mail my dad went to the postmaster general they put like a track letter i don't know how they do it they caught stealing now now they're allowed to look at it they're allowed to do a lot of things you can't steal mail that's a federal event it's a bigger deal than people might guess yeah yeah i mean it's amazing yeah absolutely even more so yeah but you know and so i could take all those i actually had a judge i told my buddy he says larry i know you well i know your stories i looked you up i looked you up in actual archives he goes i almost believe you could be bitter i

said bullshit his name dad said no I don't believe that, Dave. I says, I could take that and become a piece of shit or, oh, it happened to me, this kind of crap, bullshit. Or you can learn from it, teach others, try to either prevent them from going, maybe not doing the thing or understand how to handle it or whatever it is. And you know what?

Every one of you in this room right here, the four of us, five of us, we all have fucking some baggage and shit and shit and you can you handle it you fucking Somehow you had to do to handle it. You did otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here all you guys myself included and and I Just hope you take that and try to help somebody whatever that it's it I tell that with Kyle stuff with, whatever the weed or whatever, or you take anybody with a DUI, I tell them,

listen, you got a DUI, now you know the process. I hope you teach others not to do what you did. Either help them not to do it or... Oh, I tell people, always vacuum seal your drugs. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. That's the takeaway. And some money on a good one too

vacuum like mushrooms but nobody gives a shit about weed not anymore you might be surprised yeah speaking speaking woody you're 100 right what you just said because I just found out a dude got like 30 years for pot. Again, 250 pounds or some shit. Like, I don't give a shit how much it is. It's a pretty fat guy. I don't give a shit how much you're giving people this kind of... And we're paying for it.

You, me, you know, our taxes. That's... Yeah. It doesn't do anyone any good. All right. This episode of Yes this episode of PKA we're going to do a few I'm sorry what do you go ahead

I was going to ask you to do gummy bears last Yes we'll do the gummy bears last We're going to hear from a couple of wonderful Advertisers We'll talk about the gummy bears We're going to do a few advertisements This episode of PKA is brought to you by Blue Chew.

And I forgot to pull up the ad rate. Here it is. I just remember we're grateful for the Blue Chew ad. Just remembered. I should probably have it loaded. Spring has finally come, so let's all do the same. That's right. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.

Guys, confidence can take you far in life. It can also help in the bedroom, especially when it comes time to step up to the plate. That's where Blue Chew comes in. Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost. You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The process is simple. Sign up at BlueChew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. The best part? It's all done online. So no visit to

the doctor's office, no awkward conversation, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Blue Chew's tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped direct to your door in a discreet package. Very discreet. It says custom medicine. So if you could benefit from extra confidence when it's time to perform, Blue Chew can help. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free free when you use our promo code PKA at checkout. Just pay the five bucks

in shipping, folks. That's BlueChew.com promo code PKA to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast so, so, so much. Free is a good price for the hardest dick you've ever had. On a knee. Your dick's going to be so hard, you're going to be, oh, is this okay?

So BlueChew.com, code PKA. Check it out. This episode also brought to you, speaking of penis, Lock and Load, another penis pill. It helps you cum more. It makes your orgasm better. Everyone's talking about it. Lots and lots of very smart people are busting more. They're all coming.

They're all coming all over because of their hot daughters and all sorts of reasons. We're going to lose our lock and load sponsorship somehow. There's no way we'll lose it. We are lock and load. No. And that is 10% off, off folks code pka or code jizz over at derrick's website linked below you can get 10 off of anything on derrick's website i recommend jizz i'm not trying to thank you i wasn't trying to take credit for it i legitimately couldn't remember because i'm so high it was fine we all use it We all use it.

We all use it. We came up with the formula. We tested ourselves for months. We'd be the bell of the ball the first day in prison. Oh. They'd be like, that guy's leaking. I'd be like, I can't help it. It always does.

It just leaks when I get excited. That's the PyGM. Dude, the leaking is one of the best parts. Yeah. You're going to be pre-coming. If we were making stuff up for nonsense sake, we would have sold a smaller bottle and we'd tell you to take one pill a day.

You've got to take five in the morning and four at night because we're trying to hit efficacious dosages, folks. We would have done this to you. This is a bottle of selenium. These pills, we could have done this. Yeah, take one of these a day. It doesn't do shit. And put sugar in here if we

fucking wanted we didn't do that we came up with a formula we tested it thoroughly tested it's hilariously effective i will notice the difference if i'm not mistaken i believe it is still marked down ten dollars off from its normal price so check that out i think with our code pk you can get it for 35 right now now. Holidays are coming up soon. Holidays are coming up soon. You want to get the stocking stuffers? Okay. You want to get those lined up? Everybody's going to want them. I'm telling you, they're going to sell out the closer

we get to Halloween. Everybody's going to want to be giving these out. You know, those sexy nurses aren't going to fuck themselves. They're not. Maybe. No. So, lock and load. Code PKA or code Jizz. And if you want to check anything else out at Derek's site, use those codes as well.

Use the Nitric pre-workout. That is fantastic. Actually. That's pre-workout in the game. I've switched to his protein. Yeah. So I bought protein somewhere else. I used it up before I switched over.

And I am digging it. I make that uh protein french toast out of it you didn't buy it did you the vanilla tastes good no i get it for you oh good good uh i was gonna say like you were like yeah i got it and i switched to i like it yeah yeah i don't genuinely i'm pretty happy with the protein the old stuff yep super high quality stuff. And now this page has to reload. Oh, okay. We're going to hear from another wonderful, wonderful sponsor, Wonky Weeds and Lock, or not Lock and Load,

Death by Gummy Bears. I hear a game tonight. Fuck. Literally, I had both pages. Adderall before the show. I had both pages open, and then whenderall before the show? I had both pages open, and then when I opened them, they did that refresh thing, except I'm reading this from the

chat of Twitter with me in the sky. Are you just learning to read? What the heck? You are sharper than a prison shank, my friend. Oh my god. Alright, we're gonna hear from a couple sharper than a prison shank. Thank you for that. This episode of PKA brought to you by deathbygummybears.com and wonkyweeds.com.

Are you or a loved one sick of mediocre or even bad THC alternatives? I know I am. Well, we've got great news for you. Deathbygummybears.com and wonkyweeds.com have you covered. Deathbygummybears and wonkyweeds were founded by a group of passionate professionals who were sick and tired of low-quality THC alternatives that are spray-coated and very often incorrectly dosed. We'll be right back. Delta 8 gummy that'll put you on your ass, then deathbygummybears.com is for you. Looking for a more mellow, relaxing high?

Then the cartridges, disposables, pre-rolls, and distillates you'll find at wonkyweeds.com are more your speed. You can also get gummies at wonkyweeds.com that are weaker than the fucking world beaters over at Death by Gummy Bears. So whether you're just trying to get absolutely shithoused or just a nice, relaxing night at home, we've got the Delta 8 or THC alternative product for you. With so many satisfied customers all over the USA,

American-based wonkyweeds.com and deathbygummybears.com serves all states where hemp-derived THC is legal. So whether you're a current THC enjoyer or just interested in trying something new, go to wonkyweeds.com or deathbygummybears.com and use code PKA20 for 20% off your order. Once again, that's wonkyweeds.com or deathbygummybears.com and use code PKA20 for 20% off your order. Once again, that's wonkyweeds.com or deathbygummybears.com code PKA20, 20% off your whole order,

whatever you get, the gummies, the cartridges, distillates, whether you're at wonkyweeds or deathbygummybears.com, that code PKA20 will save you a lot. I'm all out of drugs. You're all out? Yeah. Yes. More of these carts. drugs. You're all out? Yeah.

I need more of these carts. Mr. Wonky, if you're watching this, I need more of your magical. What was this? No, no. I want the HHC, right? Yeah. That shit gets me dopey, dopey high when I watch my space TV shows. And I need like, I know you've been sending me like four at a time.

And I get it. Like, I bet they're a little expensive. But I bet we, I know you've been sending me like four at a time and I get it. Like, like I bet they're a little expensive, but I bet we're selling a lot of this shit. So if you could send me like a solid dozen, that'll get me through the week. And because, because I started getting the shakes when I start running low,

I go into this downward spiral, but I draw the curtain. So a solid dozen. Well, he's looking for the, uh, the fortnight easily, uh, you know, I go into this downward spiral, but I draw the curtain. So a solid dozen. Well, he's looking for the, uh, the fortnight easily, uh,

you know, please, pretty, please. Aren't they the same thing as vapes? I'm confused. No, no,

the disposable cartridges. It's those are the vape cartridges. He wants more of the HHC. The disposables we got are Delta eight. HHC is, is a lot stronger than Delta eight. So Kyle, this is how good of friends we are today.

Literally. I reached out to him and I'm like, is is a lot stronger than delta a so kyle this is how good of friends we are today literally i reached out to him and i'm like i'm pretty sure based on the time that kyle's out can you ship him another thing of carts and so i'm gonna be i've got your i've got your uh your your ups tracking link for you i appreciate that so much but let me just be honest with you i i think they sent four of them last time maybe only three three. I went through those in two days. Jesus. Like when I stay up all night, like gaming or something,

I'm just puffing it. Like I'm doing here on the show. So I'm dopey high the whole time when I'm playing. I've been playing Fallout with my girlfriend. And so she's never played Fallout before or any Fallout game. And I'm pretending like I haven't either. But this is like an rpg mystery story

right we're trying to figure out who who kidnapped our son and who killed our husband and i'm just i'm over here like i bet it's a guy named kellogg and i bet he's right fucking there we're like we're walking down the railroad tracks and i'm like i hope we don't get ambushed right now rats come out of the ground because i've played thousands of tracks and i'm like i hope we don't get ambushed right now rats come out of the ground because i've played thousands of hours of that game like i know that game well enough to quote the characters like it's a fucking movie i will talk to him points are i'll talk to him and make sure that we get a a hero's shipment lined up for for god yeah there we go i i am exaggerating about how long it took it've been gone for a while But I probably smoke

Two days and one of these is gone Like one of these carts is gone I'm liking the disposable cartridges Taylor knows what I'm talking about They're T8s They're the Delta 8 ones So these are interesting Yes

So I'm talking to people who probably all know more than me, but I like that you get high faster and you can dose. I hit it twice and I'm like, eh, three. Then you hit it a third time and I'm like, uh. I'm going to take a tolerance break if you're serious, if that gets you high. I'm going to take a month off.

Sometimes two, sometimes three. Never four. Don't be insane. Let me tell you what I do with these. I create a f off. Sometimes two, sometimes three. Never four. Don't be insane. Let me tell you what I do with these. Let me tell you what I do with these. I create a fife. I'm smoking like a half dozen of them at a time. They're all cooking. The lights are all blue.

Edible takes too long to hit. I don't mind the wait. Can I respond to him? I used to be pro-edible, and I still am, but the dosing is really tricky. Sometimes I want half of one. Sometimes I want three quarters of one of those wonky ones, the lighter ones.

Rarely a hole. A hole's a lot for me. The stuff we're talking about is legal in the states where marijuana is not legal. It's made from hemp. It gets you high as fuck. But it's covered under the farm bill. But you can get it anywhere that you can't get legal weed.

Because those businesses keep each other out, right? So here in Georgia? There's a place in Florida here that you can buy. Well, it's medical. I don't know. You got medical there. So you've also got the Delta 8 competing there. Yeah, but nobody gets this shit. But I mean, I, it's medical. I don't know. You got medical there, so you've also got the Delta-8 competing there. Yeah, but I don't, nobody gets this shit, but

I mean, I get my stuff wherever, but it's, the edible's just for maybe because of my age. My metabolism is slowed down so much. It takes two hours for me for him to kick in. I was just gonna say that. Two hours it takes for me. That's standard. That's just standard metabolism. I take a

punch bar. They're 25 milligrams. Un-fucking-real. Best shit I've ever fucking taken. I give anybody. I buy them by a fucking case. Not that I eat them that much. I actually give them out as gifts. I kind of want to get you a death by gummy because I'm pretty sure our sponsor will kick

your ass. These are 100 milligrams each. Now, granted, it's Delta-8. It's that other shit made from hemp and and i don't i'm not a fucking chemist i can't explain like how that shit works but anyway you get 2500 milligrams in one of these little bottles 25 100 bangers and for a normal person one of them will fuck you up to the point where you're like i'm not driving i am not fucking i'm gonna sit in this chair or lie in this bed. Those are my two options.

I tried it. I had like half of one and I'm like, is it irresponsible to make something this powerful? You know, when I give the punch bars and like you said, we all have whatever you go to. Listen, I'm no rookie. I do whatever.

That fucking shit hit me like ketamine where the fuck i was like a zombie you know it fucking i've done every and i've tried every prison most of the drugs you know i did a lot of acid in prison and shit like that and certain drugs more in prison but those drugs today we never had weed like they got fucking today man i will tell you what i don't even smoke weed anymore. I smoke rosin, you know, resin rosin. My son was big. You want to talk weed, just talk.

We're talking to a guy for about a screen, you know, to do. Because I got a cigar. I got my own cigar brand coming out. Actually, I got the CEO of Oliva Cigar, the third largest company in the world. He's coming to my my right here tomorrow at 10 o'clock in the morning and i'm gonna do a show with him because i partnered with them and they put up a zillion dollars and i got my own brand called the crooked diamond and it's we have a a club and the crooked diamond we have uh four three three type cigars and they're good cigars they're the ten dollar

cigar eleven dollar cigars they're good cigars and we're even giving a cruise away through your euro we'll tell your audience we're giving it all they got to do is subscribe to our two youtube channels and our uh what is it called oh and our newsletter that's it and they get entries into a free cruise for two where are we going huh it's coming out of court it's it's coming from uh wherever they fly in they two people flying to take a limo to the ship they get a a balcony room and then we're all going on it my whole team who gets to pick the winner it's that ram that randomizer that thing they do. Oh, okay. I know that guy. Yeah, Mr. Randomizer.

I slipped him $15. I would have tripped to the Bahamas. Yeah. I wish it was that easy. But so we're giving that cruise away. And that's in November. And we're picking it next month, October 3rd. And it's every, I mean's gonna be what thousands not millions

just take a shot and if the person's from out of the country or under 21 they could still do it but they get the newest air macbook pro whatever it is the 2000s whatever the it is i don't know what it is you're gonna wear a macbook it's a the new one whatever it is it's about 1400 bucks he said so it's about the same price as that as the crews were gonna get for the people So it's that we're doing crazy. We got a cigar club shit this branch it You know we have a brand that my son wants me to get weed because you know, I love weed I love all whatever chemicals so the we as a plant, but the He wants us to get it because we we got approached by a person to get our own like i don't know if it's a strain you call it or

no what is it yeah like your own strain yeah yeah you could name what you're doing whatever the fuck yeah listen i'm new to it i don't think i ever smoked pot until i was 48 yeah and uh no no i did it in the in the dominican republic a little bit but that barely counts i i went to colorado and tried it for the first time last year really yeah but i i still like talking about it as a sponsor because there's other people like that i represent i feel like i have customers who need to hear the rookies perspective yeah i love that yeah i think i think we're perfect all right i think we're perfect perfect at selling that product because you represent that like target audience that hadn't done it before and is like like when you ate the like the leg and it got you high, I had so many people message me, was Woody joking around?

I'm like, no. Woody's fucked up. He's like, all right, I'm ordering two bobs. I'm ordering two bobs. You sold a lot of it just because they were like, oh, okay, that's how it works. I forgot I took it. Taylor had tolerances. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you don't have the tolerance level. Whatever drug. I did a lot of acid in prison. It takes me a lot more acid to go tripping and and and I love psychedelics And and I actually love them because they're coming out with a lot of stuff MDMA is now curing PTSD. It's it's it you can look at all the medical literature They're actually the University of Mississippi has the only class a license from the federal government to test that stuff. Psilocybin.

How do I join that study? I keep hearing psilocybin. Yeah, I do too. I keep hearing psilocybin is a cure for depression. Well, it's MDMA too. You're right. I take them both. They're really – I always like psychedelics.

You can never overdose on them. You can't die. It doesn't bring your heart rate. It doesn't do anything. Can you pause there? Literally never? Like no one ever has You can never overdose on them. You can't die. It doesn't bring your heart rate. Can you pause there? Literally never? You cannot overdose on them. Okay. You can take as much as that. I had a buddy in prison. He went to prison

for life for acid. And he had 30,000 tabs. He used to file a grateful debt around. And he had a 100 hit vial, a hundred hit break in his pocket. Oh, a hundred hits.

Now I didn't say it wasn't tripping for a long time. In fact, he was so fucked up. He sold all his worldly possessions. This is a skateboard, two tickets to Jerry Garcia concert and a skateboard. This is a skateboard. Two tickets to Jerry Garcia concert and a skateboard, two tickets to something else.

Like a guitar or some shit. For his whole fucking goddamn furniture and everything he fucking owns. I mean, you got that fucked up. You won't overdose. It's not like heroin. Right, you're not going to get hurt. Just die. Have you ever done meth i've been watching breaking

bad i've done pretty much every drug i'm trying to think you want to have it what effect does meth have on you because i can't tell by watching breaking bad okay have you done coke no okay if you do coke and meth they're kind of a life but meth lasts a lot longer so is it like an adderall almost where you're just in a sort of good mood hyper yeah you know it depends on again anybody know i i actually when i speak around the country on drugs i tell them listen you control it don't let it control you drugs is a personal choice now if you commit a crime for it go to jail if you go rob something go to jail but what you do in your own home i don't care what you do but you're not hurting anybody else if you they shouldn't give you something going into disabled because you're a well that's

your problem you did it that's it but in all the drugs you control it don't let it control you i was very i guess you're lucky how you do it. Don't let it control you. I was very, I guess you're a little lucky how you do it. I don't have that addictive personality where you do one thing. I've done heroin. People go, don't do heroin. You're going to fucking do heroin. I never shot it. I snorted it.

Oh, you're going to get addicted. No, you do not. You do not. It's like any other. Careful with that, though, because some people do. Heroin is the scariest one to me. And all the opioids, right? Even the ones they prescribe and such.

Because I've just observed good people who had their shit together, lose their shit. It's, I mean, it didn't happen to you. I follow, but. But watch this one. You'll like this. I got, I got 15 vertebraes done in my back, 15 all crushed right now. Zipper from my back to front. All crushed right now zipper from my back to front. I took 180 milligrams of oxycodone which is six thirty kilogram pills every single day for eleven years

Nobody's ever seen me high on I Got off him on my own and my doctor buddies, you know I got off on my own and my doctor buddies, you know, actually one of my friends is the biggest pot doctor in the state. And one of the biggest in the country is Frank Filiberto. He's adopting classes and Cal every, you know, he's one of these pot doctors and he's also an ENT surgeon and a plastic surgeon. I mean, the guy's 70 years old. He's fucking a genius. But he says,

you never see a high because you have all these pain receptors how opioids work is they go through your body and they attach to pain receptors you know throbbing of pain wherever it's at and it'll dull the pain it never cures it no so you can get by what happens is i had so much of it that's why it can never get to the endorphins in your brain. When an athlete or you or somebody breaks their arm, they take an opioid and it works. But when there's no more pain and it's not through your body, you can still take it like they tell you. And then it goes through your system and it gets to the endorphins. Eventually, endorphins want it. And that's how addiction comes about.

But if it doesn't get to the endorphins, you can't do that. It won't make you addicted. Now, mine did physically but i weaned off them i went from six pills a day i did that for three weeks or a month and then five and then and on my birthday too i think this year will be two two or three two years this october 3rd is my birthday i never took took one. Again, I'll smoke weed. I'll do other things. But I do things when I want, not because I have to.

If I have to do a show or if I have to go on TV, NBC, like I get a call for a lot of robberies for network TV. You don't want to go there fucked up. And I'm not going to. I was with Cheech and Chong on fucking Fox News with fucking the Huckabee show. And Tommy Chong is fucking hammered. How he fucking functioned. Like Kyle said, weed affects me worse than those drugs.

I mean, I'm talking about if I took my gummy or something like that. I'm not talking about taking a couple of hits to mellow out. I'm talking about, you know, take one of those gummies. I just took two gummies. They're 20 milligrams. That's good for me to go to sleep in about two hours. You know what I mean? Two and a half hours.

Is there anywhere where LSD is legal? I think recreational legal. I know mushrooms is now legal in Washington. Yeah, but I hate mushrooms. Zach says Oregon. Why do you hate mushrooms, Kyle? It's like a – they bum me out. It's like you've got this happiness, and then you use all your happy juice,

and then you have this sort of – afterwards, it's just like, oh, now I'm kind of bummed out. I used all my happy juice. When did they bum you out? I want to ask that. Afterwards. So you enjoy the high, and then kind of the hangover is being bummed out. I used all my happy juice. When did they bum you out? Afterwards. So you enjoy the high and then the hangover is being bummed out.

Yeah, once you've had your fun, it's like, oh man, I'm real bummed out. And I'm trying to put my finger on what's bumming me out and I can't. It just feels like I'm in a pit of despair that I manufactured with this silly drug that only made me giggly for a little while. Meanwhile, LSD is way cheaper. You don't have to power through disgusting mushrooms you just put

like three or four tabs on your tongue and you're done and you don't even taste it it's just paper and you do a dozen hours of silly giggly look at the walls pulse and breathe and now that's that's cool let's watch some fun movies oh fant, Fantasia. I just remembered the other day what Dirty was afraid of when we were watching Fantasia. He freaked out. We had to pause the movie. Big projector screen. Dark room. The five of us all chilling out. It sounds a little gay, but it was just a great

bonding experience. We're all on LSD. And Dirty blessed his little heart. He's like, stop. Stop the TV. It's scary. It's scary. He's like curling up in a ball. I'm like, oh shit, stop it. What is it, buddy? Show me the scary man. Who's scaring you?

It's Mickey fucking Mouse. It's Mickey fucking Mouse. Did he have a bad trip? No, he's just being a big baby. Okay. I actually was with he's right. Acid acid lasts longer that's the only difference i really find out how long does it take and i do mushrooms an hour if you do mushrooms an

hour and it's like maybe 30 minutes it's one of those things where like maybe 30 minutes and i'm feeling and then by an hour it's like oh it's real now and even that's slower than i would it's hard to dose if it takes 30 to 60 minutes to hit i'll tell you this is what i felt about it though like like because i was scared of the dosage i took the one hit at 7 p.m and 8 p.m came came along and i felt tremendous and i was like is it am i peaking and they're like yeah more or less i'm like oh i definitely want another one give me one more and that one hit and i'm like oh i this is one of those rare moments where twice as much is twice as good you know there's with alcohol you're always chasing that perfectly buzzed little in-between

moment where you're sociable but you're not wobbly on your feet you want to be between those right it's hard to stay in that zone with alcohol but with lsd it was perfect it's like oh i definitely i'm like i want as much as i can get how much've done LSD that one trip, right? Yes. We don't know if you got lucky or if this is a normal... LSD is always like that. It's how everyone else felt as well,

except for the one guy who was like... I love you to death, dirty, but he was being like white girl with a Zima drunk. Everybody tries to chase their best high or whatever it is in life. dirty but he was being like white girl with a zima drunk like everybody didn't like uh i i i everybody tries to chase their best high or whatever it is in life mine was i did four four hits of acid good shit and i floated out of atlanta and i literally was looking down at the prison i was literally fucking floating i i swear to my children i was floating of course i wasn't

yeah that's the high i try to chase. It's hard to get to that. Of course, you don't want to go because where's the next level you'd say to yourself or whatever it is. I found that it takes me more with acid. Like he said, depending on the person, how much they take. I've learned that...

Have you ever heard of DMT? Oh, yeah. I really want to do DMT. I don't want to break a bunch of laws doing it, though. DMT is one of the greats. I love DMT? Oh, yeah. I really want to do DMT. None of us have tried that. I don't want to break a bunch of laws doing it, though. DMT is one of the greats. I love DMT. Now, DMT is, you know, if you ever heard of alawaska? Of course.

That's what it's really like. It's only an intense high for about 30 minutes. So you can understand yourself. Yeah, we're pretty familiar with DMT around here. We were all on a call like this once with some of our viewers and one guy went on a whole dmt trip right in front of us like he took three big hits back to back to back and we got to see him and he described what he was seeing with his eyes closed and it was it was really interesting so i think would you guys do it like let's legal ram aside, let's say they legalized it

and you could go down to the gas station and you get a bar like this and it's DMT. Would you hit that? It kind of scares me. It looks like pot? I've seen it in vapes like this and I've seen people also smoke it

out of oil pipes, which for the uninitiated is like a crack pipe. How many told me that's DMT? Maybe. I don't know what you got there. Kyle, to answer your question since you asked, I would do it if I could find a reliable tour guide. That's what I'd be looking.

I need a subject matter expert to help me on doses, to understand my goals. Analytical. The answer everywhere. The answer everywhere. What you're saying is right. Let me tell you what, I just came from Colorado.

I was there and I went to Red Rocks. I went to a Denver game, a Colorado Rockies game, Frisco. And I was with a couple of psychologists, you know, that were in there and they want to do the psilocybin

and they've gone and they want to do the acid and the DMT because they say they are now reading enough literature about it that they want to at least experience before they tell somebody how to do it what to do so what you're saying is like normal for people i'm a risk taker obviously i've been a risk taker my whole fucking life you don't go rob and fucking do everything i did in my life so i don't look at drugs i look at listen at my age if i dropped dead today i had a fucking craziest life in the world is what it but i i so i jump at those things i want like he calls out he wanted to try that want to do an experience you know i'm

one of those people as long as you i always say one thing and i've been around a guy with a bad trip i've been there and They're never that bad. In other words, it's over. Six hours on acid, he'll tell you how high I'll take. But Kyle didn't tell you the best thing to do on acid is when you're coming down, jack off. I had a flight. Kyle, what did you tell me? Why?

And I used to do it two or three times because it's a nerve drug so it feels like your whole fucking body is coming out of you now you can't do it when you're peaking obviously it's like like most drugs at least i couldn't and but when you're coming down it is the it was it was like another high you know what I'm saying? Okay. I'll beat one out next time I'm here. On the way down. Did Zach write that in Oakland you can smoke the shit legal? I'd rather just not go to Oakland.

Fuck that shit. I don't know if he was talking about Oakland the other day. It looks like Uganda. Yeah. And a safe environment. Like you're all for sure safe environment like your officer. Like here, we do whatever. Be somewhere everybody's comfortable. Everybody knows everybody's safe.

That's important because that's a little shit that gets into your head. Yeah. I mean, I only have... The only experience I have with DMT is watching the guy in our hangout smoke it and he vomited. So I lost there. The the first time he had a great experience that's true and then he like back-to-backed it and that's when he had the rad

experience yeah and that was probably because of too much in a short amount of time right well also dirty told him that he was on fire that was mean you know again dmt like just when you when you pull a dmt it depends you know the best is taking it, hold it for three seconds, take a three-second pull, hold for three seconds, do it. You do up to three. I mean, some people like myself that are a little big and they just move, they might take five. And it takes you to a place like you really are fucking,

like you'll go through a tunnel. You know, I always tell people, you want to go speak to fucking Jesus? I don't know who the fuck he is, but there's a guy out there, you know, talking. There's a guy out there you can go talk to. Do you see, do you see another person there when you go? I have. I saw, I mean,

I thought I was literally fucking talking to fucking an alien or space man, you know. What did he say? I don't fucking remember now. I was so fucked up. Damn, you really should have written that shit down. I couldn't write. Are you kidding me?

Did I tell you guys about all the drugs I did in my life? That DMT, or like he said, LSD acid, or microdots, same kind of class of drugs, which was mescaline it was all I'm all psychotropic I love psychotropic because I if you listen and you start reading about psychotropic

Einstein some of your fucking greatest artists your great band people who wrote the greatest songs were doing all tripping and a lot of them because it opens up it's amazing drug if you never try it i'm not i never push drugs on people ever that's a personal choice but if it's in your head to try go with two things i told i've been around a couple guys with bad trips and here's what they do they fight it they fight it they think they can control it they want to fight it and they have that bad trip let the fucking thing hit man. Don't give a fuck what happens. Love, fuck, get laid.

You know what I mean? Just let it hit you. If you're tense, it's probably not something for you. You're uptight. If you're at all tense, see, that would... I feel like I would do it or I'd be right about to do it and be like, am I tense? Am I stressed? I'm probably stressed about something. Something's stressing me out.

I can tell you, did any of you guys get paranoid? Not with smoking weed at all, no. We were also stoned. If you don't have that paranoid bug, some people do. Those are the people who are more apt. I don't know why, but it's always

everybody I've seen, it's the guy that's like, did you hear that? They're coming. Take another hit. I haven't told you guys about Mindbloom yet. I signed up with this thing called Mindbloom. I think I told you I was going to do it, but that was months ago. They sell ketamine.

It's kind of expensive. I think it was $1,200 for six hits. It's not for everybody. It's legal. They're doctors. They sign up. They ship you this pretty bougie kit

with a high-end blindfold, some ketamine, some Zofran so you don't get sick. Are you serious? Yeah. What is your question? I'm so good, Kyle. Tell me more. You got me.

I'm in. Ketamine is very addictive, though. Hold on, hold on, Larry. We're going to hear Woody's ketamine. Tell us how you get ketamine. This bougie kit with the blindfold and the Zofran and this and that. And it comes with a blood pressure cuff to make sure that you're in appropriate condition to do this.

And before you do it, you talk with a therapist. And you go over your goals as to what you want this trip to be. Like, what are you working on? What are you doing? You know, this and that. And then they give you the audio track to listen to and it's pretty interesting so to take ketamine for those of you never take it you put it under your tongue and you wait and uh the therapist described it pretty

well she's like it tastes like you think a pharmacy might taste yeah that's about right bad and you have to keep it under your tongue for seven minutes without swallowing and uh while you do this you're listening to their audio track which is designed for this so what like a chime goes off at the seven minute point and then you spit it out and uh you know put on your blindfold and they give you this like the soundtrack is influential it's like motivational speeches and mind-opening things about the meaning of life and um like what's important in this world how fleeting you know this time on earth we have is and uh it between the therapy with the counselor the therapist and the audio track by the time you spit this stuff out you are really influenced to have an insightful trip

and then the whole time you know you have your goals you're trying to work through like what what do you want to happen on the other side of this trip? And it lasts two hours. And then at the end, like the counselor dials you back up and she has you write like your thoughts while they're still fresh. Right. Ever wake up, you remember a dream very vividly. And then whatever, 40 minutes later, you can't remember it at all. There's a similar kind of thing going on. So you write your notes as soon as you come out of this trip as to like what conclusions you reached while you're in this

ketamine induced high. It's as if all my ideas are not subject to the second guessing that they normally are. Right. You know, if you say, I've reached this conclusion, you're like, yeah, you know, it's not that simple. There's some things I need the direction of this. This is why it was hard in the first place. When you're on a ketamine high, every idea you have is brilliant and unquestioned. And just like this is your this is what the answer is for you. So I just sort of wrote down all these things like relationship things, life things, career things, finance things. And these were my answers at the time now well you know they don't necessarily survive you know you're sober interrogation of them but uh it is

pretty neat to see what your mind arrives at when it's unencumbered by is the uh is the blindfold just is that for the full two hours or just that Or just, that's for the full two hours? Except for the first seven minutes. I think I wasn't blindfolded when I waited with it under my tongue. So, I have so many questions. Yeah, this is so interesting. What's this service called? Mind Bloom.

Okay. And how did you find out about them? A friend sent it to me and said, like, you know what? You might like this. And I don't know how to say this without being an asshole. I'm talking about money. I don't know how to be an asshole. But $1,200 for this, this is reserved for people who have $1,200 to throw away. It's not everybody. It was how many hits? Forgive me. Six. Yeah. So here's what happens. They give you a dose the first

time and they're kind of aiming at the low side of right. And I came back and i was like you know what like i was high it was influenced i liked it but the truth is by 45 minutes in i felt like ever be drunk and you are drunk but if your mom was there you could act not drunk you could fight it yeah yeah and i was like i feel like i was kind of there you know like i was definitely influenced and doing it but the second hour i was almost trying to be drunk like white girl on white wall trying to keep it going yeah so they doubled my dose for the next five and and that's what happens they send you one dose you report back how it went and then they send you the next five okay so i got questions go ahead well my question was like what's what's to stop you from being like you know what i

decided to just do all these drugs and not call your therapist back i just really wanted to get real high exactly 1200. um your 1200. The first one, I don't know. I guess I didn't think to question the program the first time. I wanted the therapist to sort of be there and guide me through it and help me with my goals and stuff. The second one,

it was a little confusion. I went to schedule the second one and they're like, oh, that's unguided. They were texting me like, hey, why haven't you done the second one and they're like, Oh, that's unguided. And then they were texting me like, Hey, why haven't you done the second one? I was like, low key.

I did, but I didn't know your website said that was unguided. I'm a little mixed up. And then three through six, you're just on your own. So, you know, they don't do that handholding once you develop your expertise.

I'm, I'm curious. I don't know what ketamine costs on the street. And I know that doesn't, that really doesn't matter because I don't know what ketamine costs on the street. And I know that really doesn't matter because I don't want to commit any crimes. But here's why it does matter. If I found out that ketamine costs, like LSD is cheap as fuck.

LSD is like $25 and we're going to get out of our minds. So if I found out that they were selling me $1,200 worth of ketamine, but really it was $12 worth of ketamine, I'd be like, God damn it. Is there a place I can just travel to and make a vacation of this and do it there? I was there. I know the answer to this.

It's yes. I paid a lot for this. Some people are going to call me stupid, but I get to choose that I value the therapy a lot. No, no, no, no, no, no. You kept yourself out of any possible legal trouble while getting exactly what you wanted. Well, you haven't heard me through. Oh, then I'll listen. I can go to a place locally, I've learned, like in Raleigh, where they give it to you by IV.

And it's stronger and cheaper and better. Right? But I still don't feel ripped off because I feel like I got the value out of the set, the setting, the audio, like all those things. I was brand new, right? It's a service. When I finish that, if I still want to do this again, I might go and do the IV route the next time around. But for me, it was like – Is this a North Carolina thing?

I don't mean to interrupt you, but I'm boggled here by the idea that ketamine is being slung out on the streets by doctors for fun. Ketamine is a prescription drug, and doctors are given leeway to prescribe what they think helps you, period. It's given out by anesthesiologists pre-surgery frequently, I'm told. See, I knew that, but it's not like I can

go somewhere and get some laughing gas. There's not some doc who's like, hey, you want to go on a little silly trip real quick? That doesn't happen, so why is there a guy slinging ketamine? It smells like bubble gum. Hey, Woody, I totally get what you did. Totally get what you did

because of the experience. It's like going to a great massage parlor or whatever it is. It's an experience. When I did ketamine and done ketamine and done acid i'm with kyle i like the acid a lot better not even till i'll tell you why i didn't do that seven minutes you didn't have to do that you know we did a a dropper you know like uh you know the what they call them a fucking eye drop yeah like an eye dropper yeah whatever under the tongue boom let it i fucking totally

enjoyed the high because i felt like you said they give a fuck kind of deal like whatever it was but i couldn't even stand up i couldn't like i could not i could i was laughing at myself i could not fucking stand up so when you think of that how do you fucking stand up. So when you think of that, how do you not stand up? You must have had a much higher dose than this introspective journaling. Yeah, the seven minutes, it must have been crazy.

But again, I've done a lot of good. LSD or acid or whatever, you want to get me always to the best place that I've been where you can laugh your balls off. laugh oh shit he's got his fucking ketamine kit god damn what is you know what he 2005 woody would not recognize this man this this yoked ass fellow what coming coming in with his ketamine kit in his mansion having a ketamine kit yeah you said that so well walking in with his ketamine kit and his mansion like this is my bougie little ketamine kit and I open it up I can't stress enough how high quality this fucking thing is.

It's got like little pads. Anyway, this is a notepad. I don't write very well, but I type well, so I didn't use it. It comes with this tricky little pen. Everything about this is high quality. This is the blood pressure cuff, if I could open it with one hand. And finally, I don't want to show this too carefully because it's like my doses and personal information

printed on it, but these are the ketamine tablets. Oh, this is the anti-nausea Zofran stuff. And this is just my freaking bougie little ketamine experience. Did you need the anti-nausea? I haven't tried it without it. I'm finished, Zach.

Oh. I wonder, I'd like to hear? I haven't tried it without it. I'm finished, Zach. Oh. I wonder. I'd like to hear others' experiences of doing it without it. So I'm going to do this. Is this North Carolina? Is this everywhere? It's my impression it's everywhere, but I'm not sure. I just know that it's in Raleigh.

I am going to find the closest way to go somewhere and get an IV of fucking ketamine Although I do hate IVs, but I'll do it for this I'll take up with the IV in myself. That's I want to fuck I want the hardest hit I can get I want to go somewhere. It's just gonna get there quicker to get there quicker. It's not so much harder. It's a process, but it's going to get there. However they'll give it to me, if it's legal, then I'm absolutely down

because I love shit like this. I never thought I would do ketamine because it sounds so... It's like, how did the dealer get this? Because it's like an anesthetic. It's a horse tranquilizer. Yeah, I've heard cat tranquilizer. I think vets just have it. Do you have to rob a fucking vet to get the shit?

That seems so shitty. I know a guy who can rob anything. Hear me out. He's a crooked jeweler. I bet they've got good shit. I bet if you break into an animal hospital, they've got the animal version of some really good stuff, but under less scrutiny than a pharmacy or a hospital.

Here you go, Kyle. You get caught robbing some dogs, you could probably just offer to work your time. Kyle says there's one in Atlanta. That's that link he gave you? Zach linked it? When prescribed by a physician licensed to practice in Georgia, ketamine for off-label treatments is legal. Boom.

So you can get on it and do your own journals. I was just told by a friend of mine who's in this business and he sells to doctors all kinds of stuff from MDMA to all the psilocybin. And he talked to me about ketamine. He goes, Larry, he goes, they think they had a opioid addiction crisis in the country. It was ketamine is going to be worse. This is what a guy's been around for a long time. He said is very, very addictive. I've done it a couple again

i didn't have it he goes not everybody i've always yeah you seem resistant to addiction if you did the opioids like that me i can't speak to that kind of like i've done i forget if i've done two or three trips i think it's just two so far out of the six yeah no and i'm like it's been four weeks i'm not pulling forward or anything. I'm actually behind schedule. You're supposed to take it weekly. The idea is that they call it, I don't know how much of this is bullshit, but it seems to be in actual research. They call it, I think neuroplasticity where you're just a little more influenced where

you can program yourself to have happy thoughts and be good. And you should take it weekly. So the sort of neuroplasticity sets, it's cumulative. I haven't done that properly. I took one, waited two weeks, took the other. It's been like four weeks since then. You know, so I'm not following the program like I'm supposed to. Okay, but describe the high to me because this is kind of out of your normal sphere of influence.

This is different. Everyone's so bad at describing highs and I'm no better. high to me because this is kind of out of your uh your normal sphere of uh influence this is this this is different everyone's so bad at describing highs and i'm no better but um for one i was in a very good mood um they put me in this sort of set and setting that i was there to work problems out and not waste the high right so i'm like intentionally thinking about what to me are the major things in life like family finance relationships like all that shit and uh you know what brings what's what brings actual joy and happiness at a deeper level right not roller coasters but like fucking fulfillment and uh so i'm there like processing those kind of thoughts you know getting ready to take notes on it afterwards and every thought i have is the right one it's like aha you know this is what fills jackie's bucket aha this is what fills mine like i'm i've i'm rising at these brilliant conclusions

and uh in addition to that it's just a really sort of happy vibe i've got the music playing that normally i'd get bored to just like rhythmic sounds and gentle music but under ketamine it is not the least bit boring to me it is just facilitating and happy and joyous carry on do you think you'd like to just take a whole bunch of it and watch star wars wouldn't that be pretty fucking cool you You know, they programmed me to feel like that's a wasted high, right. To be like,

you know what this, right. You're like, Hey, there's more highs with that came from. But to me, like I, I really got into sort of the,

they have mind bloom has audio tracks, right. They're labeled one through six. And if it's your third time doing it, you listen to the third one and it's sort of a speaker putting you in the mindset to sort out problems and issues and okay um and that's what i was looking for do you feel like uh maybe you solved any issues that maybe you didn't even know you had and like you know i've referred back to those notes and i found that my conclusions were good ones and I just

need to be reminded of them. Like ever read a motivational book and you come out of it, like the best version of yourself, right? You finish seven secrets of highly successful people and you're like, fuck yes, I am going to start my day with a to-do list and then work it. And I'm just so much better than I was before. And then four months later it wears off. and then work it and i'm just so much better than i was before and then four months later it wears off i refer to my notes and my conclusions and be like i was supposed to be winning friends and influencing people no like i i refer to my notes and i'm like you know what i was right when i said this you know like this is this is what fills jackie's bucket for example and uh i'm gonna do this as soon as possible would it like i'm gonna look at all the like available clinics i don't understand quite how they're able

to do this but there's a way to like just get me a whole bunch of ketamine and take it at home while i watch movies that's all i want if i'm being honest i don't face a lot of scrutiny and i like this about what they prescribe right as maybe you have some limited experience like hey all these are legal drugs they typically calling it ob1 kenobi therapy like like like i you know this is a legal drug it's not usually used for you know this purpose but it turns out that you know if a doctor thinks it's right for you then you can have it and the ketamine maybe falls under a that kind of umbrella wow we give those doctors a lot of uh a lot of leeway huh yeah like we just kind of just trust whatever they say so ketamine as a street drug is expensive probably good idea is what larry said right

like pretty pricey he did say that and it's is it's is it like not safe on the street like it's not the quality i don't even know i don't know shit about ketamine no i don't either but i know the guy i was with and i trusted him obviously that's what i always always say but i didn't have anything woody had with the head maybe it was other stuff i was fucked up with or whatever but it you know i had the fucking like total feeling he said but i I didn't get my life. Or maybe it was just that we were focused on. I try to run away from shit in my own way. And everybody has their outs, whatever they do.

I hate to bore people with my freaking repetitive mushroom story. But the time I did that, that it worked, I was at a campfire with good friends. The set and setting has a big impact on your high. And probably everyone's done alcohol. That has an impact too, right? If your dad's letting you drink and you can't act like an asshole, then that's one experience you might have with alcohol. But if you're with your friends and you're pumping it up and it's okay to be the ridiculous uninhibited version of yourself then you get a different experience from alcohol ketamine has to be the same way you know they just sort of put me in a place where i had some pleasurable deep thinking so that's really fascinating i did not know that you could

get ketamine for these purposes you Not at $1,200 for six of them. Well, no, we'll find a cheaper way. We don't need all that therapy stuff. He was interested in that, but we aren't necessarily. I don't know about you, but I want some ketamine. If I was going to do it once, I would spend the first one trying the journal thing to see if I actually discover anything.

Give me one big dose. Those fools said trips two through five at once. Do it for the environment, if nothing else. Just one bottle full. If after I take one in journal, I'm like, let's see what I got. And it's like, how to fix the Amazon Lord of the Rings show. And it's like, okay, well, I'm just going to do drugs.

This is what I was really concerned about. There's pages of this and you get insurance to cover it oh i'm so into this i'm gonna do a little more research i had no idea you would think when a drug became like willy-nilly prescribed that there'd be like hey everybody guess what and like there'd be like a party like in the streets or something like like a ketamine party like for real i figured you would have like a google alert set up for drug legalizations is your blood pressure fine kyle i forget yeah yeah yeah i gave highest in class always number one nobody comes close mine's also fine but i have to work to keep it fine and that was a thing

that i was like you know it was like it was cool but that i was worried on like game day that it would be high or something but the testosterone um definitely raises my my uh my blood pressure it's just a consequence and all the red meat i eat but also raises my uh raises my blood pressure and so i have to be really careful with salt i can't use as much as as i can't salt my meats properly because i eat so much meat if i'm like on a bulk if i'm actually eating like two fucking pounds of meat just the amount of salt that goes on two pounds of meat a day is a lot a lot of fucking salt it's too much salt but uh last time i got it done was when when I got that blood work done maybe two months ago. I don't know. I sent you my BP,

whatever it was. I don't remember. I couldn't tell you what a good one is. I'm not that guy. 120 over 80 is the answer. Every time I do mine, I Google and I'm like, all right, we're good. Anyway, that's my ketamine story. I wanted to tell it. Sick. I'm so glad that you said that.

Yeah, that's awesome. I'm super into it. I just want to say how bummed out I am. This is a quick MMA thing for what they're going to do to Nick Diaz in a couple days. It seems like, yeah, Nate Diaz. It seems criminal that Nate Diaz is like an older veteran, and it's his last fight on his contract, and they are making him fight an absolute lion.

At a 170-pound lion of a man who's like 25 years old and destroys everyone. And they're going to make Nate fight this guy as his last fight. And Nate's such a tough guy and such an actual gangster that he's going to stay in there, and he might never be the same after what's going to happen Saturday night. Like legitimately, he might die. It could be the first death in MMA. He might be so scarred that it's disgusting to look at.

I predict he's going to be spitting blood at this guy and talking shit and smacking him while this guy rearranges his face for 25 minutes. It's going to be a... Devil's Advocate. It looks bad. How close did he come to beating the current champ in his previous fight?

Really fucking close, but did you see what Kamzat did to Gilbert Burns? He just destroyed him. Kamzat is a monster. Oh, oh, oh. I did see that fight. I remember Kamzat winning. Did he finish him? I think he might have in the last monster. I did see that fight. I remember Kamzat winning. Did he finish him?

I think he might have in the last round. I think he finished him. I remember it. Go ahead. I could be wrong. I remember it closer than you did, but I'm not, like, fully confident. He's going to get destroyed. It's going to be embarrassing.

And, like, I think it's the worst thing I've seen the UFC do in a long time. I think it's bad for their brand what's going to happen Saturday night. What they did to Ken Shamrock, though, back in the day when he's fighting Ortiz and he was way out of it. He shouldn't have been in the ring at that point. He's my age or close to my age. I kind of disagree and here's why.

I do agree that there was a bit of a mismatch. The Tito Ortiz, he won all three of those fights handily and he was never in danger. Right. Having said that, those were the most lucrative fights they could have offered Ken Shamrock. And I remember the third time Ken Shamrock got his ass kicked by Tito Ortiz with this giant feud that they hyped up for years. He hugs him, and he's like, dude, we made a lot of money doing this. So I don't know that they did him wrong.

He should have been like, Tito, if you weren't retarded, you'd let me win this one. For the money aspect and the people aspect, I get it. Here's what I always say with the fighters. And I knew Angela Dundee very well. And not only that, Mark Randaz, who's the Cruiserweight Champion of the World, he's a good friend of mine.

And I sparred with him. It was funny. I told him if he hurts me, I'm going to kill him. Because he hurt me two times. But what happens, and you know this, Woody, they keep taking a pounding. And it just fucked. I mean, you look at the great fighters, the Joe Fraziers,

the fucking guy that can't even speak. You know what I mean? And as one of my best friends, the doctor told me what happens why boxing and getting hit in the head a lot, which Shamrock did, inside the brain the brain goes off the walls and it keeps damaging

it. It's not like just one smash hit. It's getting multiple bangs all the fucking time. I hope, I agree'd have did the same fucking thing you know as ken shamrock uh for the money and everything else that went along with it but i mean is he gonna be fucked up for it i don't know you can see this is different though you see nate preparing for this thing and they're like how you've been preparing nate and he's like i quit preparing this fucking beat me like he's overweight coming into this he didn't train like he's he's just showing up he's literally showing up to take his beating

and get away with his contract and be a free agent he comes out yeah comes out over there like i'm gonna do this that and the's like, yeah, fucking do it. Beat me. Did he win? It's this weekend. It's happening Saturday night. It's pay-per-view. Then they double-fucked the guy by making that fight card really poor. He's at the top of the card with nothing beneath it. I'm not going to buy it because it's not worth the $75.

He gets points of that pay-per-view money. If they'd stacked the card and they thrown like, actually, I think Tony Ferguson is fighting somebody I've never heard of on that card. Here's how shitty it is. It's not the kind thing. Make him fight Tony. They're both fighting on the same night. They're both the same size. Those two old guys could have fought and won them and they both could have retired at the end if things went a certain way but instead they're just feeding him to an absolute monster who's going to go right on and like face the champ as soon as possible as soon as they get that whole uzman thing sorted did you see what zach wrote the pre-fight press conference was canceled due to safety concerns

what well were they worried that the two gangs were gonna fight each other maybe because they do that i know kamzat has a history of doing that um that fucking cowardly shit that khabib did and like jumping people set with like seven of his guys at a time because they uh him and like seven guys went after uh paulo costa the other day at uh at the i.d as his crew does the same thing yeah he's a scumbag motherfucker too. I don't like him either. I'm a Conor McGregor man. He's a good, old-fashioned, values kind of guy.

Family first, Conor McGregor. Hey, Kyle, they had an interview tomorrow when we were talking about it. The Oliva Cigar Company that I partnered with, they wanted to deal with Conor McGregor when I got the deal. And they had their meeting with him and they go, oh my God, way too difficult to deal with.

And that's what they were saying. And they ended up getting me for this deal. But it's funny, but you mentioned Conor McGregor. I love the crazy motherfucker. I love the fuck i love the crazy motherfucker i love the way they get crazy yeah they're all awful people more or less um people don't really like to watch the good guys fight as much um for whatever reason you know guys who just have i'll tell you who i feel bad for fucking uh chito vera you ever i saw that guy posing with

his whole family so chito's posing for his whole family. So Cheeto's posing for his whole family. He just won the fight. And his daughter has this weird birth defect, this syndrome, where she's got big fish eyes bulging out of her head, and her face is all misshapen and shit. And they're like, yeah, he's trying to raise money to get her head fixed. I'm like, fuck, I hope he gets to fight for the belt. God damn, that fish-eyed girl was so hard to look at. It hurt.

It was like that Sarah McLachlan commercial with those little kittens with the boogers in their eyes. What's his name? Chido Rivera? That's like his nickname. Is it Vieira? For some reason, having you feed it back to me made it

a race out of my mind. Chido Vera is what's coming to mind. Let me find him. Is it Merwin Rivera? Chino Rivera? Marlon Vera, by chance? Yeah, Mariah. That's it. Now look for

his daughter. Marlon Mariah. Excuse me. No. Is it Merwin? M-E-R-W-I-N. I found her. Did you? I found her.

Yeah. It's very unfortunate. But when I saw that, I was immediately on this guy's side because they were like, yeah, every time he fights, he can afford more surgeries. Oh, my God. So she has Mobius Syndrome. That's a terrible movie. I see her picture.

I guess we can show it, but we'll try to be respectful. No, no, no. I made a mistake. Take it back, Zach. I'm sure you didn't respond quick enough. Yeah, it's a shame. In... Based on my lessons learned, it was probably a mistake to put her on camera.

I'm sure he has the best of intentions, but now he's exposing her to a level of internet criticism that didn't have to happen. See, that's a big concern right now. See, Conor McGregor went after Kamaru Usman on Twitter because Kamaru Usman got kicked in the head the other night knocked the fuck out his little girl i don't know she's 9 10 11 years old she sees it she's sitting right there she's crying inconsolable like people are trying to be like oh it's okay he's fine he's laying there unconscious with his

eyes wide open and it's on the big screen like he looks dead of course he wakes up after 30 seconds or so when he's fine um but but like conor mcgregor's like how dare you bring your daughter there exposure to that like it's just like you're the worst you're the worst that wasn't my plan i thought i was gonna win uh yeah scumbag he is he is he knows what a dick he's you know who's worse though um um who's andrew uh tate is that the guy um i saw all right so if this was like one of those fake fake tweets then then i'm just wrong but i saw this like tweet with him and someone had like a kid with like i think a kid had like a syndrome like this maybe they were dying i don't know they need money for a surgery and they're trying to

raise the money on twitter and he's like the money to save your child is nothing to me it's nothing you think i could just i could just flick my fingers you could have it beg me for your child's life beg me for your child's life and i was like that's the most awful thing I've ever seen in a tweet. That is a wealthy man telling another grown man that he is a failure as a man because he can't keep his child alive and that he should. Oh, God, look at this. That is real. I don't know if it's real. See, that's the thing.

Oh, my gosh. So we'm going to read it out loud Read it for yourself Or have a literate friend help you And there's this kid who needs surgery To go fund me Andrew Tate replies Do you feel like a failure That the amount you need to help your own son

Is less than a quarter I spent On one of my five cars I will help you if you ask. It's nothing to me. Your comic books have failed, but I'm a success. Ask nicely and I'll save your son. Good golly. That's the worst thing I've ever seen on Twitter.

That is despicable. Makes me want to go back into my old days and go back to see my old days. If that's real, you don't know the backstory behind that for all I know. old days and go back to see Jesus Christ you don't know the backstory behind that for all I know we don't even know if it's real

for all I know that's like his buddy if I tweeted that to you Taylor or like vice versa it would look insane but we'd just be goofing around it'd be some weird inside joke we'd come up with I don't know the backstory of any of that but if that's all on the up and up, if that's literally a man with a sick child

and that's literally a very wealthy influencer tell him to beg for his child's life, that may be the most awful thing I've ever seen on the internet. If it is real, I also, if that is real, I like that it had some likes. So someone who read that was like, yeah, fuck them. Like, you're right andrew get they need to get their shit together zach says it's real but five to six years old before it was famous i wonder i

was i have a haircut today i was talking to my barber he wasn't going for clout or influence why did he get canceled did he get canceled for shit like that did he get canceled? Did he get canceled for shit like that? Did he get canceled for saying women hit the wall at 30 and I think that's funny? Or did he get canceled for the human trafficking? I didn't get it. He got canceled before I got a chance to get red-pilled. You missed it. You could have been red-pilled. I didn't like what he was selling because I had that other fellow, that Kevin Samuels, whatever his name is.

I preferred his message better. It was less mean. It's less mean, but it was less concise. There were always these Kevin Samuels. I'm like, ooh, ooh, ooh, this title and thumbnail has sucked me in. And it's a 33-minute video. I'm like, where is your highlight, bro? I don't know. That was my issue with Kevin Samuels. I'm like, where's your highlight, bro? Like, I don't know.

That, that was my issue with Kevin Samuels. I have a, a prison question. We just did that with shorts. You're right. We just did that with shorts now. I have a prison question that kind of like works for all of us that we can all

kind of like meld together a topic like, like out here. What prison did you go to? Jessup. I think Taylor spent most of his time down there. Rikers. Fuck, I lost my train of thought. TV in prison.

Were there TV shows in prison that everybody were like, oh, it's fucking Thursday night. Such and such is coming on. That's what every TV is going to be on. That's what this TV is definitely gonna be on my this is my chair and i've sat it here you not only can you not sit in my chair but you can't sit in the spot where my chair sits was it like that before larry goes i want to make a prediction

the tv show prison break based on the time he was in was Was it popular? No. I don't remember that fucking show. I was in from 96 to 2007, so I don't know what prison break was. I watched one and reviewed one series on my channel. There's some bullshit. I couldn't even get into season two. The guy gets out of prison. It's not prison break

anymore. He's got a map on his body, some bullshit like that. The show we watched, and we used to bet on it and actually have pools on it, was Survivor. I got into that recently.

We would go out. You say we. Our group. You had black TV rooms, Hispanic TV, white TV, general sports rooms, what they usually had. So that's in the prison system. And the TV show, I mean, you do. Also, a lot of people, even I did, used to watch The Wire,

if you remember The Wire. Oh, The Wire is tremendous. You guys had HBO? Whatever that was on there, I don't know where it come out, we had Wire. Why weren't you watching The Sopranos? We did not have TVs. We had four TVs, and when the guards said, lock down, you're fucked.

You know what I mean? And they put them on what they want, technically, but we kind of try to maneuver that to get what we want. And they know. We used to get to watch all sports, like the Super Bowl all the way to the end, even if it's lockdown. NBA finals,

every game, they wouldn't lock the most prisons are locked down at 10 o'clock. They'll let you stay out. You know, out. Pretty decent. Everybody wants to watch the game. They'll do that for every major sport. Baseball, basketball, even hockey.

So they'll do that across the board every prison I was in. Obviously, they don't have to do fucking shit. And all they do is say, for the safe and orderly running of the institution, that's how they work. So that is exactly how the prison system works. Were there any big fights or arguments over bets on Survivor? Were there any big fights or arguments over bets on Survivor? Are you kidding me? Stabbings. One guy got beat with a lock. That was the biggest thing. We used to put money up and pick a guy. We'd gather in the TV room. You'd see guys argue

during that thing when they kicked the guy off or whatever. What do they call that? Tribal council. Tribal council. Yeah, yeah. Tribal council. And you'd see fucking two guys get up and start fighting. I mean, fucking blowout. Fucking hit somebody with a fucking...

And we'd fucking laugh. The next day, we're all laughing. Somebody's in a hole or nobody got caught. And we'd fucking laugh. So we did all left somebody's in a hole or nobody got caught and we fucking left so we did like that that was just survival it was a great fucking show so it was hot that would be intense survivor watching

you're like god damn it if Rudy survives this episode I gotta go stand by a guard like you have to take care of yourself you know I still to this day i think they should make a survivor episode you know not no not survive naked and afraid you know the naked and afraid thing yeah put two convicts on that fucking island

put a female felon ex-con and me or you know one of you you know i'm telling young felon put them on that fucking naked island i'll bet those motherfuckers will walk through 21 days like it's fucking a joke do you think so fucking i was in prison for i was in the hole for three years wow fucking years in the fucking hole. 11 straight months. I look at survivors, I say, I'll sleep for fucking 21 fucking days if that's what the fucking pays. You know, it's, they don't, I mean, we had it where the roaches are going in your ears, Atlanta.

So you used to have to put tissue paper in your ear. Otherwise roaches will get in your ear and get there and get fucked up. And we had the rats fucking coming under the place. So I mean, we had all that shit. You got rapists. There's not rapists in the woods. Even worse. You know, worse than a rat.

Well, there might be. If you guys haven't seen in the last month, USP Atlanta Penitentiary is on Senate investigation as a threat to the Southeast region of the United States of America. Not to Atlanta, not to Georgia, to the southeast. They left doors open. There's a whole, just Google it. Take you two seconds. Fucking, they did this whole fucking, I did this video on it

because they still have the rats. They let cats, they left the door open so cats can go in and get all the rats that are in there stray cats they let people fucking leave they fucking disabled the cameras the guards did this disable the cameras the guards were bringing in so much dope that they fucking uh disabled the fucking drug sniffing equipment in the prison it's all in this audit i'm like holy i was there in years i'm on the i told them i know the reader fame one of my fans said you're on the same page as al capone so we're laughing so hard i'm watching this thing about these all about atlanta they go they said 33 of the guards are corrupt.

Goodbye. I mean, like, just think, if you three, one of you are corrupt. One of us is earning off of a corrupt prison system. You got stocked, you fuck. When you saw the 33%, were you like, eh, it's higher than that? Well, you know, really, that did shock me. And even the guards bringing in money. I was in there when we had a guard.

The guard was bringing in dope every week to this one cell. The one inmate was a Latin king. He was making $10,000 a month in prison in dope dealing. And that's in my time. So you you know, you're talking about 1990, it was 98, 98. And so, 9080s make 10 grand a month in prison.

It was a killer too. It was crazy good fun. This is not on prison, but we should probably talk about it. The Queen died. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a real bummer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a real bummer.

96. I just like her next to all the presidents. I don't know who the first one she took a picture with was. It might have been Gerald Ford. And then everyone... Way before that. She became king in 1950. The Queen.

1950. All right. She's 71, 72 years now coming on. Or whatever. 1951, 72 years now coming on. She's just over 70 years. Maybe 52. Every president. Eisenhower. Then it was Eisenhower

to Kennedy. I'm just thinking that. It's crazy to me how many presidents she's taken a picture with. I might have picked her to outlive biden yeah yeah i don't remember if any of us had we do a death pool here i always win it uh and uh i don't remember if we did one for like people who are over 50 or no no we did we only did a young one most recently yeah uh so so got those lines out there i'm sure that i should check to see if that south

atlanta rapper ever got found out yeah that is a lot yeah i had like as an american like i see it and i'm like oh the queen died like and like i you know doesn't really impact me but like i see like people who i follow or like i see all these like viral like tweets from irish people they are like a lot of them are very stoked oh really she's dead yeah people in ireland there there was this like huge like uh big old uh viral thing oh there's a man i was on my way back. It's prom night. Look at how little this jacket is. We didn't have time to get our jacket fitted up for prom night. You weren't supposed to pack mine.

The chick on the right looks like the fucking sorceress from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Pull that up, Zach. Pull up the sorceress from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Do you up, Zach. Pull up the sorceress from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Do you like Trump's matador suit, though? I love it! Fucking O.A. Fucking Amp Palace. I told you I wanted something fancy.

Dude, like, our presidents have been embarrassing since Obama. As far as, like, a guy who can go out there and, like, represent us physically and, like, intelligently on the world stage, I feel like it's been embarrassing since Obama. As far as a guy who can go out there and represent us physically and intelligently on the world stage, I feel like it's been embarrassing since Obama left. I think that

Bush was bad. That's not even... I'll fucking do it. Don't fucking fight it. Tell us what you're talking about. Because now everyone's forgotten the original thing. I'm single-minded here, Taylor. I got to do this. He's just got a one-track mind.

He's got to get stuff done. He's got to be like, there, that's the picture I wanted to compare. Photoshop those together real quick, Zach. Pull up the lab, Photoshop those together, do a superimposition, star wipe. Make it look good. It's all about the Star wipe. Make it look good. It was all about the star wipe. Oh, just fill it up time until Kyle

gets back on mission. What were you talking about? I'm too high to do two things at once. I do. The sorceress with the crown of fucking crystals and shit. It's the whole reason that He-Man is fighting. God damn it.

No, I don't remember where we were. Forgive me. I didn't realize how important this was. We were talking about how... Without He-Man's sacrifices, none of us would be here today. Touche. He won the Cold War. I think we were talking about how Donald Trump was a terrible president.

No, no, no. I think he was an about how Donald Trump was a terrible president. No, no, no. I just physically representing us. He was an embarrassing president and an embarrassing representative on the world stage. And I think Biden equally. So I think that everybody keeps going like, oh, if you zoom out, Biden's not behind red stuff. And I'm like, I don't know. He meanders back and forth between kind of scary and maniacal like old man who's forgotten where he is i saw him try to move quickly the other day kind of he did the kind of little shuffle and i swear to god

he did mr burn arms he did like the mr burn hands and he did like a little shuffle like it looked if if if he were playing a vampire in a play i'd be like oh nice vampire walk, bro. You nailed it. Mr. Burns is a successful man. He's doing the Dracula step. I said this today at a meeting, actually, with friends. Can't we fucking find a fucking person under fucking 70?

There should be a law. They have a 35-year-old minimum age. They should have a 70-year-old maximum age. Because these have a 70-year-old maximum age. Because these motherfuckers are just... We can't find two fucking better people. I want Arnold Schwarzenegger. Okay?

He already got his sex scandal out of the way. No one's got better biceps. And the man is a winner. Okay? You're making a lot of strong points here. He's basically American. Just make him honorary. Right?

Just say he was born in Memphis. Listen. We's basically American. Just make him honorary. Just say he was born in Memphis. Could he knight him with a subway sandwich? Obama was born in Kenyon and he became president. That is a verifiable fact. Donald Trump told me that. Yeah, so if

Obama came to the United States... That's what the classified files he had! He had Obama's birth certificate! That's why the FBI raided him! That's what the classified files he had. He had Obama's birth certificate. That's why the FBI raided him. That's what those files were. Oh, that went full circle. He had the Epstein

fucking pervert list too. What if it turns out that his birth certificate turns out, shows that he was twins, he was fucking sister sistering his entire presidency. I gotta say, I think Trump would have kicked his ass if

Biden said let's fight. I think Trump would have kicked his ass. 100%. Not if it's a bicycling race. Don't get lost anyway. He'll never get lost. That's true. It's not like we're supposed to fight someone. I wonder if Donald Trump can ride

a bicycle. Are you kidding me? Bikes should have the same age restrictions as politics. I would put money on it. If he needed to ride one down the street to the neighbor's house, he totally could. Not up a hill.

He would crash that or down. He would crash that motherfucking book not if it's like a 10 speed if it has the drop handlebars i don't think trump gets it done you know what they should do you know you know that roller coaster park cedar point all those super fast fun roller coasters they all have to run the gamut do all those roller coasters because i think it might kill kill the ones that are too old. Here's a thought, Taylor. Put them on the biggest, baddest, coolest roller coaster.

Last one that stays on becomes president. That's a good deal. I love roller coasters. I want a sexy woman president. That's my hope for this next cycle. How about a fucking competent president? Get out of here, Larry. We are so far past that.

Get out of here. Get? Get out of here, Larry. We are so far past that. Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. I'm talking like uncomfortably big tits, okay? So big. And like if anyone ever addresses the president's cleavage, the presidential cleavage, they're immediately like scorned, canceled, thrown out of the press room.

Can you believe they brought up Madam President Christiana Hendricks' press line? I want Christiana Hendricks. I think she's Canadian. I take back my saying that I believe in young people. Juggs.

I want someone who could easily be in Juggs magazine to be the president of the United States. I don't see why not. It's been a joke for years. It's been a joke for years. I mean, Bush seems so dumb. Bush, I know he went to Yale,

and there's just part of me that doesn't add up. He didn't get into Yale because of his grades. He got in because he's the president's son. No, no, no, no. He didn't just get into Yale. of his grades. He got in because he's the president's son. No, no, no. He didn't just get into Yale. He graduated from Yale with a degree. He has to get through so many barriers. Not really.

Every professor was on the take? He's George Bush. I'm asking you because I don't know. Was every single professor on the take? Wouldn't they need to be? They don't even have to be. They're not going to fail. How does he pass history?

How does he get his credits? You're giving him more credit kyle if you look at a video kyle that i did on the daily show with john stewart okay fucking i did it with john oliver and it was a clip and we had harvard nba mit fucking the best fucking students in the world they would not sign an ethics oath legit shit look it up on the internet because I ended up going to speak to these kids they made it into a funny clip you know fucking the daily show and I've been on there three times the fucking I yell at these Harvard and NBA I wish he wish he could put that clip. It's the funniest fucking... It was the funniest clip that year.

They really wouldn't sign an ethics oath. You're talking NBA from the best, like you just said, these schools. That's why I say, I think you're putting more credence into this fucking school. You know what the school does for you? It fucking does bullshit,

and it fucking gives you connections. It gives you a lot of it gives you yeah connections are probably the biggest thing that's going to any elite i'm not saying george bush is an incredibly connected man what i'm saying is to graduate from yale with a fucking degree he has to get credits or there would be at the end of the year if you're telling me that he just skipped all of his classes and no one told on him and then the person who like i don't know counts the credits at the end of the year and puts a stamp on a piece of paper like when every professor was like uh-uh he didn't go into my classes they were like fuck you if you tell anyone about this

his father ran the cia and he'll fucking kill you actually your wife is dead now yeah killer like that shit didn't happen he went to yelena graduated with a fucking degree you're you're like think about the ncaa do you think that every single player in college football is actually passing every single class? They get special treatment. And if you think they get special treatment to play tight end, the guy who's the son of the former head of the CIA and former president, no one is failing that guy. No one.

There are people who academically can't play, though. That happens. Rarely. You have to just say, fuck you, to do that. That's true, but it's also not the president. I'm saying that at no point in George Bush's tenure at Yale was he like, oh, God, I don't know about this geometry test. I'm on board about this.

No, he wasn't. The kind of ballplayers you're talking about often don't graduate either. They fucking go into the NFL. They go right to the NFL, just like doing right into politics. So it doesn't matter. There's no one to mind any of that. But we're talking about a guy, a famous guy,

maybe top 10 most famous people of our time, faked his way through Yale and nobody's here to rat him out. Not even, of course, it's like an institute. The question is, Kyle,

on one level, I can kind of get that he's a vip who got special treatment cool on the other hand like he did he just not turn tests in how the mechanics of this work i mean like if you want to hold on was he able to answer the questions wrong and the professor just pretended they were right answers did he give like three quarters credit on every answer for like at blanks like how does someone who can't do the courses get passing grades every professor's in on it yeah it's not in on it as much it's i mean look at how yale harvard all those institutions are funded it's pretty much like all legacy all legacy donations if you're a legacy of yale you are

going to get in for the most part. If your family goes, I guarantee the Bushes are donating large amounts of money to the endowment of Yale. Of course they're going to keep it. Hang on a sec. I just found a bit of it. Do you know what his degree is before you look? In accomplishing missions.

He got a degree in a Bachelor of Arts degree. Oh, getting getting pretty reasonable isn't it now it's all starting to add up how this man graduated yale and and then everything else makes sense now he's got a silly degree where he probably didn't have to take any real hard uh classes like like you know the kind of classes that an engineer or a doctor, the typical Yale graduate or a legal guy, I just think it's easier to do.

Kyle, every one of these guys, if you make it to the President of the United States, whether you like them or not, they're smart motherfuckers. Some way or the other, they're smart motherfuckers. Oh, absolutely. You don't get to where they are without either political manipulation,

whatever, family manipulation. I don't give a fuck what it is. They're smart people. It's hard to take away that the brains of them. I don't care who they are. Even Trump. Whatever you want to say, they're smart people. I don't think George Bush is a smart man.

I don't think he's quick-witted. I don't think he's calculating. I don't think George Bush is a smart man. I don't think he's quick-witted. I don't think he's calculating. I don't think that George W. Bush – I think that he was a puppet of his vice president for his entire first term. In the second term, he tried to grow some balls, and you saw how that went. That's how I remember it too. I've got a little bit on Larry's team here in that i think george w bush's competency was in like relating to people and that he was able to convince and persuade far better than most people

know i bet if you're in a room with george bush you feel like a million bucks and you're on his team coming out of it yeah is that enough to be president i don't know i don't know how that was ronald reagan ronald reagan was reading a fucking script the whole time he's just an actor Is that enough to be president? I don't know. I don't know how that happened. Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan was reading a fucking script the whole time. He's just an actor. The fact that they trusted an actor to be, I guess, you know they're all bullshitters and liars. So why not a good bullshitter and liar? On my wall, I got a plaque.

I marched for Reagan in his inaugural parade. I was in the military. I marched down Pennsylvania every year. I got the plaque, the Ronald Wilson Reagan plaque. Thank you for your service. Fuck you, Woody. I do it about twice a day. Wow, you're better than I am.

I can't get it there yet. You need trybacks, let me tell you. Yeah, I just don't think of him as a smart person. Like, and I guess what you mean by smart person, like, matters, right? Like, I think he would be better equipped running a Staples or a Best Buy department store.

Or doing, like, youth baseball camps. Listen, you can say what you want. He's that guy. Every one of those fuckers are smart people. Your dentist is smarter than George Bush by a factor of 10. What we do, what are you gaming? However we all work, we do. These guys are smart in either organizing people.

Reagan, great organizer, put great people around them. The best leaders always put the best people around them, the smarter people around them. I do that. You guys, everybody tries to do that. I do that, but I don't think Trump did. You're right. I think Trump, well, his ego wouldn't let him do that.

I think that's his biggest problem. Good policies, bad fucking- By the way, I'm so still confident that Trump's going to be president and none of these charges are going to matter. Here's what's going to happen. He nailed it. He had his appeal about all the evidence, moved up 30 miles from where it actually

happened, and they draw straws to figure out which judge is going to take over the case. He got a lucky draw. He got a judge that's his judge that he appointed. And she assigns this special master over the evidence. He got a lucky draw. He got a judge that's his judge that he appointed. And she assigns this special master over the evidence. So we're frozen. Everything's frozen in time.

The election is going to move forward. He's in election mode already. They will not press charges when he's just about to get voted into the White House one way or another. So it's over. He's going to win the president. He'll make himself innocent as soon as's over. He's going to win the race. He'll make himself innocent as soon as he wins.

I'm going to win. I'll bet with you. I've already got too much money out there. I've already got too much money bet. It's hundreds and hundreds. We'll put it online. I have so many side bets. Everyone won by action.

I picked Trump to be the president of the United States six months ago. I'm a libertarian, so I have no stake in the game. I've changed. I believe less government, but leave me the fuck alone. I don't care who I fuck or drug, all that. Leave me alone. But less government.

But we still need it for certain things. And I think most people are like that. Socially liberal, fiscally responsible, hopefully. I don't really care anymore. The death of the Republican Party will be fucking Trump in any part of their election.

If Ron DeSantis runs for president, he wins in 2024. I will bet any man here. Oh, I got you there then. Is he pretty popular? I don't want to get crazy or anything. If he runs.

Okay, he's going to run. He will run, and Trump will stomp him in his own state, or he'll be so close to stomping him in his own state that DeSantis is like, fuck, I can barely win my own state. He's going to run if Trump runs. Trump will run. Are you sure about that? Trump is running for his life.

You're about to see Adderall Trump. He's fucking coming, all right? Trump is running for his life. You're about to see Adderall Trump. He's fucking coming! He's fighting for his life. If he loses Melania in the street... You think you like Sudafed Trump? Wait till you see Adderall Trump. All those memes of him ripped.

He's going to show up for his A-game this time because he's fighting for his life. I think Trump has lost his magic. And also, I think Trump's message has become too me, me, me, me, me. When Trump went in 2016,

yeah, I'm an idiot. When he ran in 16, he was like, I want to do this wall. I want to do this wall. I want to do this with foreign policy. What was with this Iran thing? It was all about why he thinks – Train the swamp.

I love train the swamp. Sure, sure. This is what he wanted to do for the country. You go to his rallies now, and they're doing me wrong. Can you believe they're doing this to me? What they said about me in Russia, me, me, me, me, me, is his ego won't let him talk about anything but himself at these rallies.

And it sucks now. His magic is gone. He says dangerous things. I like his immigration policies too. I wanted that wall. That beautiful wall. I don't have so much money.

Come up with the money. Oh, I'd have made it happen. I can't believe he kowtowed to mexico on that like how are you going to prompt that's how you know he never thought he was going to win but he promised that mexico would pay for it he knew he would never win i don't pause there and larry i want to go he would would constantly say things that he knew would be proven wrong later that day in two weeks. Like he just seemed it seemed like if he could get past the next five minutes, he'd worry about five minutes, five minutes from now. And he would just tell easily disprovable lies constantly, not worrying about them being disproved because that's a problem for tomorrow. Trump today, Trump is doing fine. And he just ran his whole thing that way.

And it worked. He got $3 billion worth of free media. $3 billion worth of free media. It was wild. Now, I have an answer for that too. And it's to his credit. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. So he would

call in to like Fox, Fox and Friends so he would call in to like fox fox and friends he'd call into cnn he would just wake up in the morning and call call call call call and jeb bush is like what the heck why aren't you showing me as much and they're like dude you're a lead of the primaries you're second in the primaries right now you think i won't have you on my show call trump calls that's how he gets c on it on cnn trump is calling trump is making this happen call me you think jeb bush couldn't have gotten that free press he didn't why because he was afraid he'd look dumb i don't know that didn't bother trump so trump trump was audacious though like the thing about it is i don't think we'd ever seen anyone be so rude and like wwe like like

all right so i'll put it this way there was there was snl and then there was mad tv and and mad tv didn't have the budget but what it had was but what what it had was they they didn't care they they would they would say the dirtier jokes they would show the messier stuff and trump was the mad tv to everybody else's SNL. It was like, wait, did he just curse about one of the, one of the Jeb Bush? Is he saying that that man's father is a serial killer? Is he making fun of that guy's height? I remember when Trump told us his plan for dealing with China.

He's like, it's easy to negotiate trade deals. I pick up the phone and say, listen to me, motherfucker. You're at the lectern right now. You can do that? And I said, listen to me, idiot. You're going to pay this much or I'm going to kill you. The motherfucker part is important.

He really said that. And then it killed me. He would get mad because he called Hillary Clinton nasty, right? He's like, she's a nasty woman. She's not nice. And it's like, you have the mouth of a sailor, and you're calling her nasty. Wait, the mouth of a sailor?

That's when the guy and the girl come off the bus, and he kisses them. Oh, yeah. Dude, grab them by the pussy, right? And just lock a room, the room talking i love that that didn't matter didn't matter they tried really hard to make it matter or it was countered by the fact that comey announced an investigation into hillary at about the same time listen trump just manipulated him i told everybody the biggest con i've ever seen in my life and all the fucking mob shit, everything I ever did is Trump convincing

Ohio, Arkansas, Mississippi that he likes them. That is the biggest motherfucking con you will ever fucking see in your life. I went and saw him in person.

He don't give a fuck. He's entertaining. I don't look at Trump as a leader. That's not why I went. I wanted to see the fucking show. I see it going to a WWE wrestling event and somebody being like, wait, why'd you go to that?

Don't you know that The Undertaker is there? He's a murderer. I'm going to see the fucking show. And there Donald Trump is putting on a show for you. You never knew what Trump was going to say. No. He was a master manipulator.

The Washington Post. 150 million people. It just goes to show you. I don't know where you guys are from. I don't worry about it. The fucking middle of the country's iq has got to be 70 i mean like no in in defensive like because because i see this like oh i fooled all these people he doesn't like them it's like you realize like the democrats like we're out and out being

like we don't like these people they're flyover retards and then trump was like hey we're out and out being like, we don't like these people. They're fly over retards. And then Trump was like, hey, we're, you know, I don't date you as much as them. And it's like and so a lot of people like literally voted like, yeah, this guy is more of an outsider. He doesn't seem to outright hate me for being a middle America fuck. So, yeah, that's a huge reason why people. I agree with you. Yeah, that's a huge reason why people did it. No, no, Taylor, I agree with you. I'm just saying it's amazing how whenever he said anything,

nothing benefited fucking them, whether it's universal. Well, he got in and he did nothing except for the big tax cut for the rich, and that was just about it. All right, fast forward a couple years. It's election day. You guys are in the voting booth, those of us here who still can. And I'm neither can I. And so you got to pull that leather. It's either Joe. Excuse me. It's either Donald Trump or Kamala Harris. Oh, I hate Harris. She's out. Donald Trump. Yeah, I'll throw Trump. You're not allowed to vote. No Trump again. You know what? I'll vote for you. I'll vote for you, Larry. I can't vote. When I go in,

I'm going to say, this is Larry Lawton's vote. And they're going to say, that's a crime. And I'm going to say, they're going to make you a felon. And now you don't get a vote at all. I was joking. I was joking. Are you kidding me? Let me tell you why. What's it going to be, Woody? Kamala Harris,

is the worst fucking person on the planet. And I mean this. I wouldn't vote for that bitch if she was going against fucking a Dalmatian dog. I made up my mind. I'm voting for Kamala Harris. I was going to take her head in my hands and sing to her about what a great leader she is and what a tremendous job she's done.

I'm going to vote for her because she's tough on crime. I mean... You know what, Woody? You've won me over. Now I'm voting now i'm doubling woody's vote for kamala like do you know how that might go over well nine out of ten felons agreed they would not vote for kamala harris you're like shit i'm too vocal about it hope they can't pull that info if you go to jail They'll be like hey

Idiot you're here now and you can be exonerated And she's not going to let you out Would you vote for Trump? No no sir We have the evidence It says that you didn't do it But it takes a judge to sign So it might be a while

What if it's Kamala and Michelle Obama on the same ticket? Come on. That's not even a question. I'll take Michelle Obama over half the fucking Republicans I know. So today, I think it was today, they did the unveiling of Obama's presidential portrait. Now, normally that would have been done by donald trump but he broke a 40 something year old tradition of every president unveiling the previous president's uh official you know painting that's a portrait yes and so biden has to do it

for for uh for obama and uh it was actually a really nice ceremony like both the first ladies spoke joe biden painting joe. Joe Biden sucked everybody's dick. Like, oh, you're so good, Obama. You were this and that. And the speech ended like, and you still are. He's lost all of his hair now. And he just so frail he goes over. And Obama, I wish Obama could run for a third term. I honestly do.

Someone yelled. Michelle was speaking. And someone in the crowd goes, I love you, Michelle! And Obama goes, gives him, mean mugs him. And it was so funny. Did it work out funny? He was making a joke. It was hilarious.

He animatedly made a point of being like well he's a very charismatic guy you're yelling at my wife don't you know what i could have done to you secret service make sure that he knows that she's mine hey mike no no big mike come here look at looking through the presidential portrait list here yeah i do i do not like that obama's doesn't have anything behind him. All the other ones, they've got backgrounds.

They've got, especially in the olden days, they had whole setups, like globes behind them and stuff. You know why? Because Obama's always looking forward. Change. What if? Put something in the background. You're just letting the artist off easy.

If Biden unveils Trump's presidential photo and brings the tradition back, does Trump come? I bet he would. He doesn't go to those correspondence dinners. He broke that tradition as well. He would not show to be mocked. It's a matter of energy.

Especially now. We don't think he'll show, though. I'm sure he would have to. You can't come to your own portrait unveiling. So much fucking baggage right now. Oh, we don't think he'll show, though. I'm sure he would have to. No, you can't come to your own portrait unveiling. So much fucking baggage right now. I mean, he's going to be bombarded with a zillion questions. He won't answer them, obviously, which he shouldn't.

But what does he gain? I mean, do you stay low-key so that people aren't seeing your hair? About the indictment, Mr. President. This is a guy with narcissistic personality disorder being told that he's going to have a ceremony to honor his greatest achievement. He might go.

He might. Or 100%, but shouldn't be. It's an interesting optic, though, because you're stepping into the lion's den. You're stepping in there with a guy at his home field advantage biden has all the prestige of the office behind him he's there he's at the white house like it could be a bad look by biden could biden could win a quick little you know well this that and the other while he's on

the microphone he's like you're not a strong man you're not a strong leader and uh that'll be shown to everyone very soon not a very good photo either. You know what? You can see yourself out. He could just peace out and it would be like... Mike's turned off. Oh my God. You know what? Unplug the microphone. You got to go. My microphone.

This is a presidential microphone and it's for winners. He could flex so hard, but he doesn't have the balls. He doesn't have the balls to flex, quite frankly. You can do some tiny version of that that can make Trump look bad.

You know what I mean? We want to all make Trump some way Trump is our fucking thing. This is mine. I mean, like, when I think Trump, I think just something fucking great. This is mine. I mean, like, when I think Trump, I think just something fucking crazy. Arrested, fucking, you know, something happened to him. Fucking his son is fucking found out.

You know, the big rumor Jared Kushner told on him about the fucking documents in the fucking house. That's the big rumor. I'm just waiting for like a mega fucking morning. I get up and it's Trump fucking shoots fucking somebody. Trump jumps off a building or Trump does something fucking crazy. Cause that may can't go out without being the headline at a fucking day. I don't give a fuck what you tell me. That's what he lives for.

He, and I, listen, it's part of what a success is. No question. If he could get a smart guy behind him to help him run his campaign and tell him the things that people want to hear and the things that people don't want to hear, Mr. President. They don't want to hear it. I know it's true.

You know it's true. We both know that you're going to be a three-time president because you won that last one. but we can't say that shit we're in power we're gonna say it sir once we're in power we're gonna say they owe us a third term and we're coming back for that third term sir but we don't talk about that until operation downfall is complete and then you get him focused get him his fucking adderall and talk about the fucking wall talk about fucking immigrants raping women talk about losing middle america and the rust belt and and talk about all the sweetheart deals the biden administration have a list but have a prop that

rolls out like santa's fucking naughty list and start start nailing execs start nailing politicians both sides red and blue. Fuck the midterms. We're going for the general election. If he did some shit like that, he could come back and win the presidency. But I think we're going to get a milder version of that. But the best part is he's probably running against that old kook. You know, Kyle, I did get you officially fucking crazy. I think he's good at it.

You really get that fucking scenario. This guy's got it. Oh, no, I don't think he will. I think it's good at it that fucking scenarios this guy's guy oh no i don't think he will i think he should get a fucking goddamn they got video of other people looking at these documents documents won't matter it'll be illegal to fucking talk about those documents anybody talks about them will fuck themselves it'll be a whole thing if trump followed kyle's plan he might win having said that one i don't think he has the personality for it he has to talk about himself and uh i don't know rock flag eagle like i don't know what that means rock sunny patreon okay um i don't think he has the personality to follow that plan that holds him back and um shit i had a second point oh oh i think he's lost his magic quite a lot you know he

just people are tired of it i don't know if trump is great at running a campaign or terrible the only person he beat is hillary clinton one of the most unpopular highest negative people true jeb bush though marco rubio like these weren't heavy hitters it was not titans it was a weak year to win the presidency the weakest year but it's literally the first time he ever ran for anything he became president united states is he the most fucking successful politician ever or just one in a week year i don't know what the answer is i can tell you he lost the rematch or the sequel i should say when joe biden stayed in his basement and raised money on zoom calls he had tiny little rallies where people sat in their cars 38 rows deep and and you know with

200 people all together and still beat trump how, they weren't voting for Biden. They were voting against Trump. Pretty much the same reason that he won in 2016. People hated Hillary. Hated her. Can he beat someone who's not Hillary? Kamala Harris. Obviously, any voting,

any kind of voting we all do, it's got to be go to the Republicans, the Republicans, Democrats, the Democrats. We're gonna get the independents. We're gonna get those people in that thing. And Biden knew that the independents hated everything that Trump stood for in that point. And they just said, let's go on the ground.

You're right. A brilliant strategy instead of getting a guy who's gonna make gaffe after gaffe. Really, I mean, I'm going to get back to the one thing I really hope this country does somehow, some way, in some way, is get an age limit for presidents

because we are fucking just getting older and older people, and it's all about politics. It's not about the people. It's not what we all need. It really isn't. I like it. You get one of these new guys. If you put like a 20 year old in there, in there,

they would ruin our quality of life trying to cling on to their own future, which is already lost. Just so we're all clear. And it ruined our golden years here. Like, like the next 30 or 40 years are going to be fine. But after that, that's kind of it.

We're, we're, we're at the end of the, the, the night here. This is almost it. I'm with you to go back into the dark time if i'm president i'm running on a fuck your kids platform oh no no no no that's not the

platform no no no they all do no no no you run on the your kids were already fucked before they were born platform so just deal with it and so try like yourself. Don't tax my oil to try to carbon tax me. India and China burns the, the, the, it's the guys that even your kids, my grandkids that are going to solve the fucking all the crazy shit. Cause you,

me, at least I'm dead. And I look at it that way, you know, fuck it. You know, I want to see some of that they've been talking about that that big fucking chunk of ice in antarctica or whatever whatever melting for so

goddamn long they've made like eight they've made so many movies about it you can watch cgi age as it happens and to the point where i'm like i just do it just fucking melt like it's i don't even believe there's ice up there anymore i want to see that thing melt and fall off. I just don't care. I don't care about the snow owls anymore either. You fucking polar bear stranded on a broken piece of ice. Fucking drown, bitch.

I don't give a shit about polar bears. A polar bear wouldn't save me. Not in a fucking heartbeat. He'd eat your fucking liver and bleed out on an ice cap somewhere. They need to go south and find some brown bears to fuck and make growler bears and just be chill with the fact that it's a little bit

warmer now. I'm voting for Kyle. This is where I'm going. What did you say, Larry? I don't know what you said, but it sounds like you're not for growler. I'm voting for Biden now after that bullshit. You know what, growler bears? Honestly, if we're being grown up,

if we're being clean out all those fucking canucks up there, then we move into this newly fertile land that is Canada. We can do that right now. Canada can't stop us. Well, let's wait until it melts a little bit. They'll have to ask politely and we'll say, no, we're going to go ahead and take it. Canada really does seem like a bit of a failed society.

Did you see that statistic I sent you the other day that said the sixth highest leading cause of death in Canada is euthanasia? Really? The sixth highest leading? Ah, the sign of a healthy society. Yeah. At least y'all have gun violence.

They don't have much gun violence. That's a crazy stabbing. So it's like heart attacks, cancer, a couple other diseases, and then optionally killing yourself? Yeah. That is horrifying. Unless 4chan lied to me.

4chan, you'd be hard-pressed to find a lie on 4chan lied to me 4chan You'd be hard pressed to find a lie on 4chan Woody I'm the old fuck You're second Can't do it Woody You can't do it like that I can't do what? You can't be yawning you fucking

Well we are We're 55 seconds away, gentlemen. I'm so hungry I'm about to pass out. You look like you fucking can't fucking lose a few pounds. Just relax, Tony. Be alright. I'm working towards it.

You're fatter than I am. I am. I went from almost 260. I'm down to 225 today. You're living in a glass house, my friend. This fat fuck telling me to lose weight. Oh, I better not catch you in prison.

I better not catch you 40 years ago. I got to shake this fucking guy. You do your best, bud. You better hurry up. Old age creeping in. All right. Well, we're all short on time here at BKA. Thank you, Larry, so very much for coming on tonight.

I love your stories so very much yeah they were great I enjoyed it thank you very funny yeah I really did enjoy it thank you so much go check out Larry's videos check out Larry's book we'll put links down below and yeah anything else guys I just want to

say this too thanks for redemption man thanks for redemption for real. Thanks for redemption. For real, all that. I had so much fucking fun. Us too, man. I'm relaxing, having a few drinks. Relaxing. You guys are fun.

And I'm glad Taylor's the only one that had to die. That's why I do my show. What we do now. And it's the real deal because the mailman walks in. It's just the fucking, you know, it is what it is, like this. It felt like three guys. We felt like four guys in a room laughing, joking, having fun.

That's the way. That's why I made my show the way it is. You guys are an inspiration. Keep it going, man. Check out Larry's book. We'll link Larry's book below. We'll also link Larry's channel below. Go check out and subscribe to him. Watch his videos. And of course, remember all the

wonderful sponsors. Death by Gummy Bears. Lock in. Buy the fucking cum pills, everyone. And that's a show.