Painkiller Already - PKA 613 W/ Slush: Woody’s Facial Disfigurement, Jake Paul vs Anderson Silva, New COD

Episode Date: September 17, 2022

pka 613 with our guest slush puppy taylor this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew death by gummy bears wonky weeds and of course lock and load the finest cum pills in the world code pka or jizz over on derrick's site link below incredible slush thanks for staying up so late to hang out with us well no it's early here 9 a.m yeah i knew i was gonna 50 50 shot and i went in the wrong direction all right we're gonna restart it we're gonna people can't know i don't know time zones man we don't want anyone you don't know what so he's 14 hours ahead right uh yes yeah i think so so you just i just change am to you know change it to the other one and add two hours. It's really easy.

I usually do like... The Jewish athlete plush puppy tells us what time it is. I wasn't listening. I'm a little stoned. We're just talking about these wonderful wonky weed vats. I'm sorry. I think like West Coast

I usually minus four hours and then and then you guys are at a day behind no sorry i plus four hours and then you guys are day behind are you guys the ones who bring in the new year first or no yeah they are nah nah that's uh some fucking polynesian island i think no tour maybe but you're way ahead of us like yeah yeah yeah we're in the back of the line we're like looking up but the funny thing is i feel like our it's only really the new year when we say it is oh yeah it's true if new york was like actually fuck it we're going back a day like yeah a lot of people would be like okay god damn i yeah okay god damn yeah what would they do all right do you

remember when they went to Do you remember? I think when they went to the Gregorian calendar? There was just some pope who was like I don't remember that, Kyle. Alright, so what they were fixing was the leap day. The leap year scenario. And they just

moved the date for three days. They were like, alright, it was June the 3rd. No, it's June the 6th, the 4th and the 5th and the other day or whatever, however that math works, didn't happen. And there's a conspiracy theory that, hey, they took three days and y'all didn't notice. No one knew. What if all of the Dark Ages were made up and charlemagne was a figment of uh was just a made-up thing like that whole 300 year i think a 300 year period was just made up of history what

what 300 years do they think was made up oh man it was a youtube conspiracy theory video i wasn't taking no guess it won't it was the dark ages it was like right smack in the middle of the dark during the time of charlemagne in particular because that they're like here's what charlemagne supposedly did and i'm not a huge history buff as far as charlemagne's concerned so i didn't know he's important they laid it out and it was like didn't those people only live like 30 40 years how'd he do all that and he probably did it all that did all that or maybe he was like they just exaggerated but their position was he wasn't even real none of it Or maybe it was like they just exaggerated. But their position was, he wasn't even real. None of it even happened.

It was pretty interesting stuff. I love that. Wasn't Charlemagne around the year 1,000 or so? Who would stand to gain to make him up? If we knew anything about him, maybe we could answer this. A conspiracy theory. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, Charlemagne, he's a

radio DJ, I think. Oh, that's it. I know everyone's wondering, Woody, how did the procedure go? How's the recovery? Was it a nightmare? Easy or hard? Shitty. Super fucking shitty.

For people that don't know, I had this little, uh, I think it's on this side, like little spot that wasn't healing. One night I slept in these glasses and I woke up with the small cut on the side of my nose. So I thought, Oh, you know, whatever. It'll just heal. I must've slept on my glasses. Funny, whatever. Two weeks goes by three weeks goes by. It's not getting better i go to a dermatologist and they're like maybe it's cancer and i was like all right well that fucking sucks but i probably should just do nothing about it ignore this so that's what i did and uh you know i put like vaseline on it and stuff and it was looking better so i was like

yeah probably not cancer right what does that dermatologist know about skin cancer? I'm going to go with my gut. Some grifter. And, and like I said, I like putting Vaseline on it and stuff. It looked like it was healing, but sure enough,

like four or five months goes by. And even though it's maybe marginally a little better, I'm like, it doesn't take five months for something less severe than a zit to heal but it kept reopening on you right it would reopen sometimes yeah oftentimes by wearing glasses you know that it sat right on the where the pad is okay so i go to a dermatologist a month or two ago and uh they're like let's biopsy this thing right here now it's confirmed so i set upsy this thing right here. Now it's confirmed.

So I set up something called Mohs Surgery. I think it's spelled M-O-H-S. And it's better than, it's supposed to be better than other alternatives because they can right there at the surgery center test it. So they like scrape it off, test it. Aha. Now we know where the margins are. Scrape it off a second time, biopsy that.

And once they get their clean margins and they're happy, they can stop. Whereas if I went to a different surgeon, maybe a plastic surgeon, they'd be kind of guessing, you know, like maybe take a little extra margin just to be sure they got it all. Whereas these guys can take the minimal amount and make sure they got it all because um because they can test it right there on site yeah so that has this picture okay whatever um all right so they do the surgery and the hole in my fucking nose is 12 times larger than i thought it would be. Oh, I'm like, the fuck? Compared to a dime. Yeah. Roughly the size of a dime.

Holy shit. That was a lot. And this is the hole they carved or just the total area that like skin was irritated? This is the hole they carved. Yeah, the area that skin was irritated would be smaller than a pencil eraser. At the end of a pool cue. Yeah. And then the area they skin was irritated would be smaller than at the end of a pool cue yeah and then the area they removed was massive and then they sewed it up now these guys are like supposed to be like better than plastic surgeons specializing on getting like this kind of nose skin and cheek skin to heal and um the fucking shit show that exists under this bandage like i'm feeling

permanently disfigured by this that when i wrote you on tuesday how did i phrase it i forget how i phrased it i don't know or something yeah what'd you say i don't look well or i don't feel well or it doesn't look good or it was something i imagined you felt like shit and there's a lot of swelling. I know what I look like the day after. And it looked like I'd been in a car accident. I, I, so my forehead is swollen.

Crow magnet style. My eyes are swollen shut to where I can't see out them. I have kind of an Asian thing going on where like, like my eyelash, you do look smart. My iPhone, like like you know it has facial recognition is like who the fuck i'm gonna need your password dick shit like i don't i just feel terrible i look terrible and um the scar across the bridge of my nose, I'm like, I the fuck. Like, I'm not sure this is going to heal.

Right. Is it a circle like a circle looking? So they sewed it up. But when you sew up a circle, like if you sew up a football, then you can get a nice, perfect stitch. When you sew up a circle, you get kind of like ridges. Like it doesn't fit right. And I feel like that's what they did. They sewed up a circle. So now it's like a little bumpy because circles don't close.

And so I'm feeling awful. And my wife, my wife is the most supportive person in the world. She's not saying, Woody, it'll heal fine. No, it's cool. She says, Woody, we will take you to the best plastic surgeons and get that repaired. All right. All right. Now look, this is on Jackie. Don't worry about it. This is a real traumatic thing. So I don't even want to make very light of this, but, um, if you do think there's a, an issue, I'll tell you, like now is the time to go before it has healed up and maybe get I wouldn't call it a second opinion, but maybe an opinion.

So I'm ahead of you there. Great. Yeah. Yeah. So actually, I haven't talked about on the show. Maybe I shouldn't. But Jackie is scheduled to get plastic surgery next month. She turned 50.

The fuck? She wanted it. She wanted to look at my dad's good thinking about doing his neck i'm not gonna steal your thunder but nothing wrong with it she looked in the mirror you know wouldn't like what she sees a little more than she does so that's what's up what's she having down okay well if you can't it's for her face i forget the names of it they're not words that i remember, but like eyes and smile, you know, so, um, so anyway, she has a relationship with this plastic surgeon. So when she's had a few consults with, but, uh, not under the knife yet. And, um,

she sends him my pictures and she's like, what do you think? And he's like, actually, that looks good to me. That looks like it's healing properly and uh you know if it if things take a turn for the worse we'll bring them in but so that's what the plastic surgeon said that's encouraging right it made me feel a little better um yeah i thought about like bringing pictures i've been taking daily progress pictures and i will show you guys but i was like i don't know if i want to give the pk audience another attack vector on me one time like eight years ago i i grew like a pretty decent beard and yeah oh i love the beard the beard i drew a pretty decent beard and then as i shaved it off i did like lamb chops this that

hitler stash and then is it the beard was totally gone I use an eyedropper and did like a fake tear like you know like the world lost a great beard that picture has been used against me a 1.5 million times I'm like maybe I don't upload my worst day again maybe I maybe we'll learn but if you guys want to see the the open wound or anything i would show it to you but um my goodness yeah anyway so that's what's oh oh i've got my not today cancer yeah okay i love that you know what well you know what can you please start wearing a bandana like around your full head i've lost one. Just pretend I've lost all my hair. You have to. You have to.

Shave off your eyebrows as well. Just running into a clinic and like ringing the bell before they can kick you out. Stealing cancer valor. So we'll see. I feel a little better about it today than I did Tuesday. By the way, thank you guys for gracefully covering the show and being happy to do it for me. We had a great time. We were like an hour and ten minutes. I guess we've got to stop now.

Constant professionals. Yeah, I really wanted to call in sick and I appreciate you being cool about it. Of course, anytime. What would have been crazy is if it was like we were sitting here, me, Taylor and Slush Puppy and Zach Zach, and we were like, where's Woody? And then we got a message from him that said,

hey guys, I'm not gonna make it tonight. That's what Wings does. You have like a pre-existing illness that you notified like a week ago. Like nobody would follow a thing. No, I'm glad you're feeling better. And I'm glad you got that second opinion and it's all good.

I'll tell you, my shit looked awful. What did you have done, Carl? I don't want to go into the whole thing because the audience has heard this story so many times. But I had cancer right on my eyelid where the eyelashes are. It was like a mold. And first they removed the mold. Very painful. They have to cut it off, obviously, with limited anesthetic.

And then they didn't think it was cancer. They're oh these are never cancer it's cancer so then i gotta go back and it's not good enough that they just removed the mold now they have to take a pizza pie slice out of my uh a pizza pie slice out of my eyelid and then rejoin my eyelid back together right but there's not enough slack in your eyelid you know it's just big enough to cover an eyeball the way it is i have one eye that's just like this so they have to come over here and make a real big cut from here to my eyelid i didn't and and get slack you know like like extra rock to like stretch my eyelid across it needed that extra skin from somewhere so it had to come from right here because it's similar skin and they did a pretty good job i mean there's a scar but like i don't know i had a plastic surgeon and i was like i'm a neo-sporting guy like i always have um um but i you know it healed pretty well i guess i uh it was the most painful thing i've ever done

i've had broken i broke my ankle like i when it broke i heard it break it went pop it was so loud i thought i had a compound fracture and was terrified to look down that pales in comparison to what they did to my fucking eye in that in that room i i shit is fucked though like anything near your eyes so i've had people be like go and get lasik surgery it's like i would rather be fucking fully oh that's not so bad that's nothing to that i'd rather be fully blind than have someone shoot lasers into my fucking eyes yeah hit and miss i've broken every arm and leg at this point and some of them didn't really hurt at all my um when i got my surgery the the what the thing i'm dealing with is a scar across the bridge of my nose and

that's the thing that's like fucking with me i'm like you know when you like crinkle your nose and stuff is it gonna do like come back in a weird sort of um i've got a scar right here i have a scar like you're talking about but it that skin healed right it's from getting punched in the nose real fucking hard yeah i've got one right across my nose as well did you deserve a two slushpump? Yes. I've never been punched once when I didn't deserve it. Every other time I definitely deserved it. Why did they think you deserved it?

Me or him? I didn't even know. I didn't even know it was coming. I just got king hit by someone randomly. They just sucker punched me me one thing that did go right about the surgery so i go there right jackie drove me not you don't have to have a driver for this surgery um it consider it on on the level of like a root canal or cavity or something

and uh but jackie wanted to drive me and i was cool with it cool so we get there and i'm doing all this drug seeking behavior i'm like man am i ever nervous you got anything for anxiety around here i get twitchy when i get nervous and i was a little nervous but like i maybe played up and jackie's being my wingman she's like hey i'm here to drive him you should all know he's not driving home. I got this. They did give me something. Two pills to let dissolve under my tongue. And... What? Do you know what it was? It maybe starts with an A?

They gave me the same shit. That's all I had for the first surgery. I want to say Xanax, but it's something in that band. Ativan. Yes, I think Zach is right. I think it was Ativan. Two grams or two whatever.

Two pills of it. It did nothing. Oh, it did for me. But I smoked so much fucking Delta-8 and stuff. Actually, at the time, I was sober, right? Because, yeah. Oh, no. I don't know why.

It just didn't work for you. I was like, whatever it was. It's like a slow-release Valium, I think. That's what they called it. Valium. That's what it was. I knew it was like one ofium, I think. That's what they called it, Valium. That's what it was. I knew it was like one of those, like, I don't know, drugs you hear about all the time. It did nothing for me.

I had Anivan, and like three minutes in, I'm like, I think it's doing something. You know, like one of those deals. I have a prescription for that stuff, and if you take enough of it, I swear to God, it's like a truth serum. Like, I remember standing there, like, one night while I was drinking, and I'd taken, like, a heap because, well, I used to be a drug addict.

Because it goes great with alcohol, right? Yeah, yeah, alcohol's great with alcohol. And I remember turning to this chick, and I was just like, you look like your mother drank a lot while she was pregnant with you. Oh, no. You get mean. Yeah, oh, it was so bad. You look like your mother drank a lot while she was pregnant with you. You get mean. Yeah, it was so bad. Here you are, you're mixing pills and booze and high dosages.

Very judgmental. Very judgmental. Look at this loser. On the second surgery, they gave me... What was it? Whatever they gave me for anesthetic. And I honestly don't remember at this point. Did they give me an IV? I was fucked up, though, afterwards.

I was in the car. I'm driving home. I am driving home, and I did drive home. My car is outside, and I'm like, oh yeah, I'm calling the Uber right now. I'm on Reddit. He's on the way. I paid for the super like good good i'm like i'm driving myself home uh but but i was fucked up and i got real chatty i remember like talking

about myself more than i want i probably would have if i was sober i was like i i i've been doing this thing for a couple months nobody knows knows it. I've been taking steroids. I'm so fucking strong right now. I'm telling three nurses this. I'm like, I could crush a can of beans with my hands. I'm a child now. I've literally become an eight-year-old

who's the strongest he's ever been. I'm not trying to impress these women. I'm just like, I could crush a can of beans now it's real cool my friend derrick he's like an internet musclehead and also me and my friend derrick we like to work out and like hyperventilating you're so excited to share with an adult who's glanced at you it was exactly like that i was having that i wasn't trying to like pump myself up i wasn't trying to get laid i was just like telling them about what i was interested in at the moment because i was so fucked up on whatever they'd given me and it felt good if that's what i don't know name a drug feels like you could get into that drug it's like you live in a wonderland of

happiness and childlike wonder now. It's impossible to feel. You know how a kid, with a kid, you can just go, ho-ho, peek-a-boo, and it makes their hour. The whole hour, that one peek-a-boo has them like, ho-ho-ho, that's what it's like. That's what it's like.

When you take it, you just have no schedule. It's like, oh, I have to take the bins out. I've got trash to take out. Someone else will sort it out, and then usually be like, oh, better do it. But then when you're on Advan, you're like, oh, I have to take the bins out. Like, I've got trash to take out. Eh, someone else will sort it out. And then usually be like, oh, better do it. But then when you're on Advan, you're like, eh, who gives a fuck? I don't want to live on anesthetic. How did you get prescribed it?

Like, it sounds pretty intense. My doctor just gives me anything. He's weird. He just... It's a good doctor. I just say, can I try this? What's his name again? Doctor Goodfeels. Yeah, usually get it for anxiety. it's a good i just i just say can i try this what's his name again good feels yeah usually

get it for usually get it for anxiety but uh it's it's you'll get it if you like if you say like i have trouble flying and stuff like that they'll give it to people that have like issues like with like panic attacks on planes and stuff like that but my doctor just gave it like gave me it gave it to me and then just gave me he just basically gives it to me unlimitedly i don't take it much anymore but it's like if i am freaking out about something i'll be like yeah i'll i'll i'll take one just relax or if you know i just feel like having a having a good day i need an ativan meanwhile your actual problem is like you routinely forget to put the landing gear down. You can't remember the checklist. Yeah, yeah.

It just drugs you. It makes you work. I would really like to take a drug like that before doing something that would actually make me nervous. It's one thing to be like, oh, I'm stressed out about bad things in my life. I need this to ease this anxiety. You're not going to enjoy that drug then. But what if you had to go to a pistol shooting competition,

like the Olympic style where they have to do it one-handed and these guys are shooting little tiny dots and you're so nervous that it's making your hands shake. But you take that Ativan or whatever the fuck and you're just like, win or lose, I'm going to give my best. And you're steady as a rock.

Win or lose, I'm still fucked up. Maybe you're different. You don't want to shoot right like what are you like they made her leave the room for the actual procedure right so she's with me while they're biopsying she's with me while they're warming up or whatever but when they're cutting my face they had her leave the room i have no recollection of her coming and going any of the times yeah yeah so maybe not firearms well okay like on what um i know i've heard beta blockers i don't even know what those are or like or like what one would be but i've heard that those are like a performance enhancer as far as nerves go and by nerves i mean like my handshake when i'm like um on edge i get such an adrenaline the last guy in search and destroy yeah literally like like that thing can trigger that kind of

in tarkov like like not like let's say that like it matters if i live and die if i'm playing by myself i don't care but like let's say all my friends shit is on the ground they're dead most of the enemy shits on the ground they're most of them are dead and it's me and one guy and i gotta kill him and my whole team is watching and his whole team is watching because we're all discord together in different discords i'm sure there's pressure on i don't want to if i win like four guys cheer and four other guys cry it's a big deal you know how i bet it my hands are just anxiety i bet if you actually did that, instead of it making you like, now I can focus on the task at hand, you'd be like, I don't care. Like, I don't care if I win or lose.

Who gives a fuck about this loot? I'm going to go, I'm not doing this. I don't think so. I think beta blockers in particular, I've heard this about Olympic athletes, specifically with like archery and stuff, the where you get you can't tremble you know you can be trembling and fucking throw a baseball it doesn't matter that much or swing a bat or run in football well it might help to have that crazy adrenaline pushing you like if you're running back but if you're in a precision sport like something where you've got to like

if you've ever looked through a long range scope and seen your heartbeat make the crosshair go jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle like you can't be trembling if your heartbeat's already making the crosshair move yeah you can't move at all well that's what this is for yeah it's predominantly used for like fixing abnormal heart rhythms and people did you hear that i'm sorry i was changing the topic is it a good time yeah yeah so call of duty is going to have an escape from tarkov mode i just saw the nice guy uh video title and thumbnail i didn't watch the video yet it's called dmz i think uh-huh what do you know it's like uh it's like a i think it's like a free free to play like tarkov star but i don't know much about it i know that apparently i heard that

they have like a massive like q and a thing for it like more than the more than the rest of the game like they're putting a lot of effort into it so i don't know if it's like if it's going to be like a small thing i think it's going to be fairly massive but i saw this of the gunsmith and it looks like call of Duty is trying to implement a Tarkov level gunsmith. I've heard that. So here's my question. So Call of Duty is releasing in a month or whatever. It's going to come

with multiplayer where I can go play search and story domination, whatever. It's going to come with a story, right? It's going to come with a Battle Royale mode and it's going to come with a Tarkov mode? We're talking about four modes in one game? Zach says yes, and the Tarkov one is free to play.

I might buy this game. I'll definitely buy it. It's not futuristic. No, Modern Warfare 2, essentially. It's that kind of weaponry, nothing that's going to blow your mind. I'll buy it if you guys all want to play. I'm definitely going to play on pc um i'm kind of hyped about i was

already hyped about the battle royale because i enjoy that as much as i like tarkov my tarkov friends we all get so grimy when we play that but like we're not even having fun anymore we're just there to make sure they're having fun after a while. It becomes a spiteful thing. But in COD, and especially in Battle Royale, it's kind of a fun, joyous thing where we get some wins and we fucking stake it to the wall. Write that one down as a win. You rarely get that in Tarkov.

It's like, all right, we got out. Let's go back in again. There's no moment of triumph. But in Battle Royale, fuck, we won one. All right, that's one for the night night and if we get three for the night then we're killing it right tell me if you're okay with this playing on PC if I finally

decide to use that COD as the way to learn how to do WASD and click shooting and you're gonna deal with my ass on your team I'll carry you anywhere and everywhere you want to go. I'm going to be so heavy. Oh, it's okay.

I'm going to be the biggest burden. Pack it in. I'm just going to put it out there. Pack it in. We're going to the top. I've got a dog backpack where the dog gets in and he pops out like this. Put him in a baby pool. I'm just going to be feeding UAVs to the other team um wasn't there a scene

i don't know if you guys have seen the new thor movie i know i know taylor hasn't but there's a part where like it's it's a comedy movie it's not a marvel movie at this point it's like slapstick they're making fun of themselves and thor's talking about how he was like raised as a baby and he's literally in a baby buon on like a viking chick's chest leaping into battle and as she's killing stuff he's swinging his toy hammer like imagining that he's the one killing all these people and it's uh i don't know strap you right in there go into vr i don't care yeah um i'll give him a pistol bobby's gonna play with us bobby's bobby will be here in my like little sphere of of influence down here in the southeast

very soon. And so I'll have a lag-free killer to play whatever game we want to play. He could probably carry all of us. Oh, see, I'm in Volvity's backpack. I'm just saying, hop in the Bjorn. And while I'm in there... I'd see how many

people Volvity could carry. I've seen Volvity play. Is he better than Socrates play is he better than socrates is he better than like oh it's it's hard to scale that stuff but you know he's on that same level of like he's one of those guys who are like in like like in their early 20s who still have that twitchy stuff but are like i don't know dedicated grown-ass men who like are just real good at something they've been doing for a decade i larry the strong is very good at most games and when he won we've won bovity it was uh i'm trying to respectfully describe how lopsided it was well as a tactician bovity clicks on fucking heads yeah yeah he's nasty different game styles uh yeah yeah those real like speedy motherfuckers

that like jump around all over the place i don't know how they do that my brain just doesn't work on that level i i like watching it but when i try to emulate that gameplay it's not where i find playing 3d cop yeah 40 cut yeah no i'm just not a great game and not only that woody i don't know if you know this fucking microsoft the evil empire that they are in like three to four years they're phasing cod completely away from playstation playstation has lost call of duty because because like i'm probably wrong about this like order of who owns what but like microsoft bought like bethesda and Blizzard and that owns Activision and that owns Five. Activision owns Blizzard

I think. Microsoft owns it all though. It doesn't matter anymore. Damn, I didn't know that. Because PlayStation is a big deal. Now Wings has to come play on the fucking Xbox 360.

Now Wings is going to go back to Fallout 4 or something like that. I want to... Slush and Woody, when you guys were console guys, Woody and Kyle and I talked about this on PKN. You guys were always Xbox, like from the original, right? Not PlayStation? I blindly played Xbox.

I had both as well, but same. I bought a PlayStation so I could use my Xbox controller to shit on people because they are worse. Yeah, it was the controller though that really pulled you there, right? The controller difference between the Xbox and the PlayStation? It was that pulled me, but I'm not

sure the controller was better as much as it was that's the one I was used to and good at. I think it's definitely worse. I don't know what made me... I just played that because we played COD on it was I don't know what made me make the decision I think I just thought of xbox as the cool one because of marketing maybe because my previous console was a playstation 2 I didn't have but my uh my cousin had had like an xbox I don't even what they call them anymore the first one and because say xbox one that's a whole different fucking thing he had an xbox and uh and i played halo and uh but i remember like when i was fucking selling cars

wanting an xbox so bad because they had gears and they had cod that first xbox and it was like oh my god they've got gears were like so cool they had that all around me are familiar faces and marcus phoenix is walking around through the rubble. That commercial got me so amped up. I was hyped. And I was like, well, time to put in 14 more hours today. And I ain't got, yeah, of course I can afford an Xbox. When would I play that?

When would I play that? I'm like, you haven't even put your bed together yet. Get back to work. There's no time to play fucking games. So when I finally started buying game consoles and I had time, for some reason I got the Xbox first instead of the PlayStation.

I always thought the Xbox was the multiplayer one. So you play Call of Duty on that and then PlayStation was like, well, you go and play your single player games. It always upset me PlayStation. Even going to friends' houses who had a board. PlayStation, like, it always upset me, PlayStation. Even going to friends' houses who had PlayStation because it'd be like,

I know how to play Call of Duty, but they give me a PlayStation controller and I look like an absolute idiot. I can't get anything done. And genuinely, like, you know the Xbox original controller, how it was all big and bulky

and heavy and corded? Xbox 360 comes out, they adapt. They make it better. They add the the kind of the stiples on it the the more staggered comfortable layout playstation like they're adding all these benefits all these graphics to their consoles all the time and it's the same bullshit controller through all of it like how many people would have preferred a regular side a controller for an

adult's hands like well it's like we're talking that doesn't end in the middle of your palm. Because I get sweaty when I game and I need tactile. In like 2000, they're just like PlayStation 2 comes out. They're like, all right, we've got that controller thing sorted. Let's just put that in the bin. That's done. We improved graphics. What else can be done?

Nothing. To be nothing at all for the next 20 years.'ve been playing i tried to play fallout 4 on the playstation 4 and i look like a buffoon i i would i would i would stand in a room with an enemy and i'm like i can't fucking oh don't move like i can't get the cross i'm like that with the controller now because it's been like 10 years since i played on a controller like i haven't played on xbox since before i met my wife so it's like i've if i play a shooter on a on a controller i look like a child trying to walk again i'm better on the 360 though or on the xbox control though because i have one of those i wired into uh maybe play borderlands or i don't know there was some game we played a while back where it was like no you need the controller

oh elden ring i bought it for elden ring that's what it actually was oh yeah i always use of uh like fighting games like that but yeah not not for shooters but even then every time i go back like i played elden ring and like the first boss everyone in chat everyone in my chat's just mocking me because i'm just getting fucking destroyed because i haven't played like a dark souls game in like five years and they're just mocking me i was like i don't know how to fucking use this shit did you actually get through elden ring or did you stop i did yeah yeah you beat elden ring yeah it took me about three days yeah hmm i'm told it's super hard yeah by people who are good at games there's some boss if you make like a broken build you can smash it

but there is some bosses that are really hard like Melania is fucking difficult is she hard Melania yeah well she has this mechanic that like when you do damage to her she becomes more aggressive and so like if you go in there like my build was that I had

this bleed thing so I'd slash her and then she'd start taking bleed damage but because it's like ticking on her it counts as like damage is sort of increasing her aggression and so like the second she comes near me i like touch her and then she just goes fucking ballistic and just ass rapes me instantly and i'm like what the fuck is this boss and then finally like after after dying about 10 times chat's like yeah you need to sort of take off the bleed stuff and then i finally beat her and i'm like oh thanks guys yeah dude i got so into let me solo her you're familiar with the legend right

uh no there is a millennia specialist and i talked about her like a month ago so some people have heard this this guy just sits there in a queue i guess you can call in help and get help with her his name is let me solo her and he shows up naked with a pot on his head and two katanas no armor no nothing just two katanas and a fucking pot on his head and he's like stand out of the way i'm gonna fuck this bitch up and he will not take any damage the whole time and just like work her perfectly there's videos out there he performs a public service yeah look at him dude you can buy like legend you can buy 3d statues of this guy there's like 3d printed art little figurines there's all sorts of fan art for let me solo her and i guess if you like he's just a specialist on this chick and he he fucks her up naked with two katanas and a pot on his head

was it a game slush that like you finished the final boss and then you're like i can't wait to keep exploring the world are we like i am done uh it's i did everything before i went to the final boss so i'm like one of those people that i'm like i see a side quest i have to do it so by the time i got to the final boss i had done fucking everything like my character was just seemingly over leveled like i pretty much three hit the final boss so that i it was i like got it and started playing it and it's like i'm not enough of a gamer like it was prohibitively difficult for someone of my skills on the sticks like i just getting ass blasted like thinking like

i can take that guy on the horse in the beginning and he just massacres you like it very quickly i was like you know i'm gonna be way more frustrated than satisfied because i'm just like oh yeah it's not worth 30 deaths per guy like for me of my friends on stream tried to kill that guy on the horse at level 1 for like 12 hours he's just like this game is fucking shit he's like just go around her motherfucker

he's like never I was trying bullshit cheese the way you can in Skyrim and Fallout where it's like I just walk to the edge the way you can and like skyrim and fallout where it's like i just walk to the edge of where you can't go like and then like i tried that i'm like i'll get on the rock he's on a horse he can't get on the rock it's like no he's not only getting on that rock he's faster than you on the rock they'll push you off the rock like your guy like has like a stress

meter like it was too much it was too much too difficult but my brother even said he was like i heard your take about the uh elden ring game very lame you could easily do fine and beat it and i was like no like i would be i would be aggravated by it i want to play even when i'm playing games like magic the gathering on my laptop like the games i enjoy the most aren't like a 40 minute 40 minutes is a hugely long game a 40 minute game back and forth and i finally win like that's satisfying yes but the ones i like are like i'm playing against someone who it's turn four he's got nothing on the field and i can just t off it's like batting practice that's what's fun the same way with cod was it

the most fun when you were like beat when you beat someone 200 to 197? Or was it when everyone got Harriers? And everyone was 35 and 2. I don't know. I like the former. If you do that every game, it gets boring. Because I always say that about when playing Tarkov. People are like, oh, we should get access to this shit.

And it's like, then you won't care about it. You need to feel a crushing loss to have uh an unimaginable high so you do that's why that game is so good because it just fucking raw dogs you up the ass so hard when you win it's like yes like this is amazing getting dark off is like a legitimate thing that people just do people still blame nikita for everything i love that part of the culture oh yeah nikita is the owner and lead like tech guy of the is it what the fuck is this battle state yeah yeah and uh people act like he personally shot them every time i have like this thing in my chat like when people When something fucks up in the game, everyone just yells. They're like, Nikita!

But they freak out about it. Do you remember how horrible people were to Shore Wars back in the day? Community manager for Call of Duty was the worst job in America in 2010, 2011. Because no one had any conception of what his job was but his job was literally beat toy to keep keep pressure off of the company and so he just go out there and be like we're excited for a new feature i guess everybody's like fuck you and you'd often get this really non-constructive frustration like your game is broken fix it well how what's wrong tell me what your frustration is that's like the the entire internet though like because they're just like we're pushing this new update and then it's

uh we're gonna be doing this and then and then you'll just say under it, it's just like, what about the chain is faggot? They're like, we appreciate your concern. Shore Wars and JD 2020 would pass the mantle of love and hate every year. People would just be so excited about the game in October. Then it drops and they all start hating them and then they're so glad to be like,

here, JD 2020, you take it this year and shore wars gets a chance to rest that's really what it was because on off years it was like who's shore wars who what yeah oh that guy i hated three months ago like no that's old hat until nine months from now and then who's the name of the guy that was actually in charge of black ops? David something. He was the lead architect. You might be right. I don't know.

Anyway. Yeah. This guy was actually in charge of Vondahar. Yeah. Yeah. David Vondahar. And he started doing that job directly, which is brave. And Nikita does something like that, too. He's kind of the main guy.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I hate it. Every time I've talked to him, he's like, he's kind of the main guy yeah i hate it though every time i've talked to him he's like he's sort of like i i hate reddit and like i don't want to read it and it's like i understand that because like i don't want to fucking read it like i've posted on reddit before and it's just like oh sick i've got 90 dms telling me to kill myself i don't care for this do you ever get that where you're like you read something you get and you're

like i am not nearly famous enough for this level of threat where it's like you're using like a hydrogen bomb on a convenience store level guy i have one i posted on reddit and it got 20,000 upvotes or something like that. And then this dude just sends me a DM and it says, I agree with your opinion, but you're a raging faggot. Okay. I was making PKA live last week. Now, I told this story that I thought was kind of a hit about me trying ketamine and the experience and the organization that I went through and stuff. And it was cool right and it just happened to be that the top rated comment was

like woody fucking overpaid he took it wrong he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing or talking about type four i'm like i don't even know what type four means this is the highest rated comment comment on painkiller already that's funny type 4 fun you know what that is funny how those threads start where it'll be like hey drug addict here uh and then like go into the information like oh he's wrong about meth so i hired experts to watch me take ketamine over like facetime and they're like what he did it wrong and i like apparently i was supposed to snort it according to youtube comments i you don't have to be you can't all right all right i'm listening tell me more i don't want really but take ketamine and then watch Rick and Morty. That shit's fun as fuck.

No, Woody's doing it to expand his mind. Oh, yeah. That's what Rick and Morty's for. I did it yesterday. Did you? Did you Ketamine yesterday or Rick and Morty? Ketamine. I was just having a moment.

I was trying to figure some shit out. I know. I fucking disfigured. What did you write down in your little K journal? A lot of stuff actually was about my relationship with Jackie. About what fills her bucket. Some of it was

over the top sexual. If you read the rest of it. Yeah, anyway, it had to be a better husband, stuff like husband stuff like that kind of where I landed on yeah what fills your bucket what flicks your bean you know I like a uh I like a I like when it's not too humid and uh the sun's going down and you can still kind of see around it's kind of of dim out, and there's a breeze blowing. That's just the best for me. I just like to chill outside, watch the sunset,

and judge my neighbors from afar. I've got a minor conflict with a neighbor right now. They don't want my dog to shit in their woods, and it's like, but they're woods. And they're like, yeah, but there are woods. And it's like, this means i'm gonna have to like walk the dog every time he takes a shit instead of just like letting him go out there and shit in those woods now and and i haven't i was like oh yeah no problem in my head in my head i'm

thinking like how far do we take this just talk to him the way you talk to those nurses and be like i'm stronger than i've ever been i could smash a can of beans if i felt like it they'd be like hey stop talking to the fucking neighbor about his dog he can shit wherever he wants like he's an insane person i'll tell you what i'm gonna do and it's nothing i'm just gonna like get the dog like a zip line or whatever and he can shit in in the yard and he won't have to go in their fancy woods i had this idea that i went down this this like idea trail of like getting a surveyor and finding out exactly where the lines were and then spitefully doing the things i can do on my side of their woods but i was just like where does

that lead like you you got tons of dog shit fucking delivered just put it like right on the boundary no i'm just gonna say yes ma'am i'll make sure it doesn't happen again and i just won't and then like that that lady who lives behind me will be like at an ally and not an enemy and that's what i'm gonna do good but i want to be i was like i like google like how to get back at annoying neighbors that was a great read i'm like you can sign them up for uh for all of these mail things and there's like one website that like links them all where you can like mass spam them down and then there was another thing um oh you don't want to fuck with people's mail that's like federal stuff no no no you don't like do anything you're not supposed to do you like sign someone up

for like a mailing list of list. Now they're getting jelly magazines. Jelly Enthusiast magazine every month. Boys and Berries Inn, is it? What the hell? My favorite tip on annoying... Put birdseed on their car. That has got to be the best.

You have to go there to do that. You want to be hands off. Here's another thing they said you could do. Buy like... Find out what their uh their uh no excuse me if you've got their number then you can write the number on uh a bunch of key fobs get like 200 keys that don't do anything and scatter them about the world and now people will find those keys and it'll say, return to Kevin. Fucking here's the number. And so like three years from now,

somebody finds that key in a drawer. Kevin there. No! But he never has been! Why won't you stop? Because he doesn't... I mean, that's a lot of work for not a lot of pay. No, it's not.

You just buy a few keys and you scatter them about the world. But I'm just not going to do anything. I see your point. Maybe I wouldn't want somebody's dog shitting in my woods, I guess. I'll just be a good neighbor. But part of me is like... Is it like a big piece of land? No, it's like...

There's like a strip of woods that separate our homes, and the dogs go in there a little bit. I think they feel vulnerable when they take a shit. So if they can get in the bushes there, where they're kind of hidden and take a shit, they're like, that's what they want to do. And so now they're having to take these scary shits in the yard. You know, they're like hunkered down, looking around, looking at you because they want you to watch their back.

They're like, you got me, boss? I'm shitting over here. Watch my back. That's one of my favorite shits. Why until they're shitting and then just take off running? That's why they look at you, by the way. Maybe everyone knows that. But they're like, you got my back?

Good, good. I'm vulnerable. I'm shitting, bro. They just take off and they just see if they follow you. You ever had a dog follow you to the bathroom? I like to imagine that's why. They're like, bro, you about to shit? Alright, I got you. Let me in. Come on. I'll watch your back. I can tell you're vulnerable.

I can tell where my wife is in the bathroom without even knocking on the door because the dog just sits outside the door and guards. Yeah. Really. My dogs will do that with my wife sometimes. I think it's not so much guarding as it is like they want more attention from her.

It's that. It's that. I think to truly test that one, you got to pop a squat in the yard, you know, like see what the dog does. You start shitting in your yard and see how your dog reacts. They won't defend you from the cops when they get there to arrest well they'll do their best well they get shot they just shoot little fozzie and teddy i saw some guy like probably a fucking

canuck because he walks outside and there's a moose in his yard that he doesn't see right away because this morning he's bleary-eyed with some coffee and he's got like a little yappy fucking dog and the dog goes for the moose and the moose goes for the man and somehow everybody makes it away unscathed but the dog had such balls it was just like oh 1200 pound moose come at me and he's just like

like running at the moose the guy's like get the fuck in here Fonzie it's good we gotta go I love those ones where you see see a cat fighting a black bear or something like that. Imagine the balls on an animal that's small. That's just because black bears don't know cats. That's what that's about.

That's so funny. It has to be, because if black bears coexisted with cats in wilderness, they'd be like, another one of those, huh? God, I love cat. But they're like're like hey what the fuck are you doing god you slapped me in the nose you must mean business i think they like black bears in the woods are like outranked by

like mountain lions right like they'll they'll be wary of mountain lion what are you imagining some sort of like coming together of the Disney animals for the, no, no. Like they're like, they're like, cause you know, mountain lions are like territorial,

like super territorial. Like in those areas, like black bears avoid mountain lion territory. Do they? I think so. Cause like mountain lions are like a baby mountain lion or something. I don't know anything about that, but I really,

I can watch those videos for like an hour and a half, two hours at a time on YouTube. They're just trail cam videos. And you just, you watch like a bear walk by and then some squirrels fucking like fuck in the background while like a chipmunk jerks it up watching. And then you walk by and like the, the,

the coyote, you see the coyote comes by every day. They're like shit next to that tree. It's like, it's fine. i really like those videos oh you mentioned rick and morty earlier i watched season um season six episode one last night i thought it was pretty good like i laughed out loud a couple of times oh did they there's a new one yeah yeah the new season has begun there's two episodes of it i've seen all the last one oh i haven't watched it yet yeah i'll have to watch that i liked it i liked it a lot i i haven't watched it since the last time i did ketamine what uh tell me about your experience with ketamine yeah i i i was like a a slug like uh

i we we so we laid out all these mattresses on the floor at my friend's house, and we're like, all right, let's just do a retarded amount of ketamine and watch Rick and Morty. So we all snorted massive lines of ketamine, and then we're sitting on these mattresses in front of the TV. And I was pretty drunk at the time, so I have a patchy memory. But I remember at one time just sitting there, sitting there with, like, my friend, and we're just, like, poking each other in the face and shit, and they're just giggling like schoolgirls.

We're just, like, and I'm, like, pretending to put my finger in his mouth, and he's, like, pretending to bite me and stuff. We were retarded sluts. Was it, like it getting a little bit gay? Yeah, ketamine didn't make me gay. No, no, no. We're just tickling each other just being

kids. It makes you act like what you want the most in the world. It wasn't gay. We were just tickling each other. No, not a guy like that. We were tickling each other and, you know, fond of it. No, not a gay life. We were tickling each other's knobs, but it was just dumb shit.

If you had taken a little more, though. Oh, you never know. How much ketamine does it take to turn you gay? How much did you take? You already know. My friend was doing a trip the other day and he's like yeah we could do this drug or that drug and a lot of people want to do dmt and he's like well

we could do mdma or whatever but we really need to bring chicks are you going to a rave he's like we really all like bring our girls if we do that because man homie if any y'all start getting gay with me like i'm not gonna be one of those weird dudes that like kills you or anything but like i'm gonna like make fun of you for a long time you know what does he think mdma does right this person's name right like like doesn't it doesn't it i've never done it i've only done it at like before i went to concerts in college did it make you like huggy kissy and? Would you want to put your hand around your bra? No, I did it.

I went to a Skrillex show in 2010. I was one of those lunatics. He was cool at the time. I'm not just doing that. I have done MDMI at a Skrillex show. There we go, brothers. I was over to the right, one of those guys who's not in the thick,

like doing the normal person like dancing. I was like in my own world vibing, like dancing in ways I never had. I had a blast. So dehydrated. Nothing gay then at all? No, no. We just danced, had a great time,

and then went back. Maybe my friend has like a whole gay thing, and that's his way of being like, wow, let do that that makes people gay trust me see that's what i was like oh wow oh you're like dude last time i got blown out like oh you're gonna do tequila don't kiss me bro i remember one time well it's actually when we went to the skrillex concert we uh so we we got to this festival it was called breath of Life, and it's like an anti-cancer awareness concert thing. And so I rock up there with, I've got a pack of cigarettes

and a fuckload of MDMA, and it's 9 a.m. in the morning, and it goes from 9 a.m. till midnight at night. So me and my friend get there, and we're like, okay, let's have a couple of beers. And my friend's like, no, let's just take two pingers instantly so we take two pills of mdma straight away like at 9 a.m in the fucking morning and so we're fucked and i'm i'm so while you're on mdma you're smoking a lot of cigarettes if you're a smoker or you're chewing a lot of chewing gum and so i go through this pack of cigarettes and then i remember just spending the whole rest of the day trying to find fucking cigarettes at this like anti-cancer festival and it was fucking

impossible it was so fucking hard to find a cigarette but uh at one stage so we we took so many my friends like standing there next to this this bar thing and they just start throwing up fucking blue foam and i just what he's just freaking the fuck out and just starts throwing up fucking blue foam. What? He's just freaking the fuck out and just throwing up fucking blue foam everywhere. And we're like, okay, he's definitely going to die. He turned out okay. And then so we end up, like, taking all of our MDMA and we're like, let's just hang out.

So it's, like, midday. And we go and watch fat boy slim and i'm standing there in the crowd at fat boy slim and i look down at my feet and just perched under my feet is just another massive bag of pills like 10 of them and i'm just like the holy grail let's take more pills drugs wait we found random drugs on the ground yeah and you took those random drugs fuck yeah dude did you know what it was those weren't like i don't know downers or or something just take one and find out but did you take one and find out or did you take a whole bar that was mdmi i took a whole bunch after i took one and then i was like that's mdma and then i just got one it's floor pills i love when that happens hell yeah yeah i think yeah i used to have the uh the opinion that if someone would be like

hey do you want this and i'll be like what is it actually don't worry and then i'll just take it we'll just find out i called it the drug test that is a little different than taking floor pills though like at least when someone offers you something, they're kind of cosigning that pill. Hey, you want one of these? It was in a baggie. It was in a baggie. They were pressed pills. Thank God.

They looked like pingas. I was like, fuck it. Okay. I've never had any floor pills myself. I'd die. That's so scary. I didn't die. I took four pills myself.

I didn't die. I'm so scary. I didn't die. Dude, I feel like even if it was the purest MDMA on the planet, like the thought of taking a pill, not knowing on the ground of a festival, I would immediately be like, like if I took one and somebody was like,

can you believe I found these on the ground? I'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I'd be like going to the hospital, like having a panic attack. It's a festival, though. There's fun pills all over the place. Yeah, but what if someone had tested some drugs and be like, oh, look, poison. Ha, get rid of that poison.

And they threw it on the ground. Look, drugs are on the ground. That means someone has discarded them or the clumsiest person in the world doesn't drop their drugs. Yeah, true, they do. It happens. I've never dropped my drugs.

I can do anything. Is that your only time ever taking Floor's Generous ground drugs? Yeah, that's the only time. Except for picking mushrooms in the forest. That's the only time I've ever picked up a colossi narcotic off the ground.

The nature put those there. Not a mystery person. When you go in the woods and you, like, are picking those, is it like, oh, you need to find one patch and there's a bunch of them? Or is it like a tiny little one there and it's like, oh, we need to find eight more cow pies to get enough? Like, I have no idea.

I just, I usually, my uh tells me which ones they are because i suck at it but from what i understand it's just like you you go to an area that has like the right environment so he's always like oh they're growing down here at the moment we go down there and then they'll just be sort of spread out everywhere and he'll just like walk around and be like that's one that's one that's one and then just pick them up and he does something he the ones down here you hold them and then the like when they're snapped off the ring turns like blue on the and they he calls them blue meanies so but i yeah i i'm like you do that you know more about it i wanted to kill myself by something he's like yep i've got this so you just wait beside him for him to procure the drugs for you

just go have a beer i'm not into mushrooms at all it's it's never been a good time really it's never been a good time um but the last time i did mushrooms i had i like like afterwards i had this like i don't know i just felt shitty i couldn't i was lying in bed like man i'm bummed out and i'm like what am i bummed out about i don't know just bummed out that sucks and i woke up the next morning and i was like i'm glad i don't feel like that anymore that was awful and and like the the the juice wasn't worth the squeeze or however you want to put it because i don't know maybe a little giggly but afterwards i was i just felt like shit just

felt like terrible like depressed like i fell into a a meaningless depression that was it wasn't about anything in particular right for no cause no reason just yeah i just had that like heavy empty sort of like feeling in my chest and like restlessness where like how can i sleep when i feel this bad like oh and i'm like why what's your favorite lsd lsd is your good one oh lsd is the best drug i've ever done for sure but you've only done it once or twice right yeah just once just once see that's the thing it's such a small sample size i suppose but i don't in my experience various drugs have always felt the same no matter how many times i've done them like like i think

i'd fried cocaine twice and both times it felt the same and both times i didn't like it and i was like this is just first of all this is this doesn't seem like a hard drug because it feels like i just slam three red bulls i'm a little giddy but like jesus christ that shit's expensive and gross and you're putting it in your nose and who the there's always laxative in there like like it has a you can taste the fucking laxative it's it's fucking gross because they cut it to make more money yeah and i'm sure somebody out there is like a weed kind of like yeah you're gonna get the pure shit. I don't want it. I don't want it. That seems gross. Most of the cocaine these days is not pure.

I would never do that. You can't make like proper cocaine anymore because they used ether to make it originally. And that was like how you make proper cocaine. And it's almost impossible to get that in Southern America. Now they have like laws against it. So pretty much all of the cocaine that you get is not proper cocaine. It's probably better. So I'm rewatching Breaking Bad right now.

And they sell meth in that show, that blue meth. And all the key things about making it are not true. That methamphetamine or whatever apparently not or methylamine methylamine is not that hard to get and uh methylamine is not that hard to make you know you can use like really common things like i'm making it up but like aluminum and phosphate or something makes methylamine and any chemist can do this the whole plot device of them like breaking into warehouses and stopping trains and shit like that was just for tv also the purity you know human is 99.1 pure and jesse could make like 90 pure and the

other people were making 70 all that is bullshit too meth is apparently typically stepped on you know like even if it was 99.1 pure no one would want that they would instantly the dealers would start just mixing in rock candy or something to make more money in rock candy i just said that because it looked like man yeah i feel you yeah you cut it with something because it i would imagine that using pure meth you'd want like such a tiny amount that some if you'd been using it cut your whole life and then you went to like something to just kill yourself. Maybe, but the dealers just make more money. Like I think Barksdale in The Wire was like, hey, the lower the quality, the more they buy. So that's what's up. Yeah, they kept changing the name of the drug, but it was the same shit over and over.

Like, yeah, that's great bait right there. That's that new shit. It's fire. Kill the ninja. it's the same shit they were selling last year all about marketing that's marketing yeah it was always a good thing if it killed somebody that because then everybody be like hey can i get the stuff that killed that guy y'all got that jesus what off drug talk where do we stand on the little mermaid controversy it is filling my news feed everywhere. Everyone's talking about it.

I don't know. I don't think the Little Mermaid is a real hero. Maybe it's one of those things. Is this the hill we die on? Maybe it's when they start trying to take Davy Crockett or Daniel Boone and making them... No, we'll give them up. They already took the Founding Fathers. Yeah.

I just don't care that the Little Mermaid is black. I wish they'd found a better looking human being like like that does that chick have eyebrows or or is that a thing that her eyes are her eyes actually looks like a fish like did they try to make her look like a fish is that why she looks like that i don't't care that she's black. I just think she's ugly. That's the one ugly thing on my television. I've only seen the one picture, though. Like, see... Okay, I can see she has eyebrows

because I have a monitor, but, like, every time I've seen this on my phone, are they... It doesn't seem like she has eyebrows. I don't know. Who is it? She still has red hair. I don't know. Is it Hayley red hair um i don't know hayley something or something

like that hallie i don't know i gotta tell you i'm having difficulty caring at all about i just don't care i don't i just don't care that's hell oh it's not no no it's like oh why it's a name the name's similar so and and hallie berry is black so people conflate them yeah it's it's a the name's similar so and and hally berry is black so people conflate them yeah it's it's the names are close the first time i read it my mind like made hally berry happen and i was like cool but she's old right she's my problem isn't with the the fact that she's black it's the fact that they keep making all their movies into these fucking shitty live action shit it's like come up with a new idea like you know what i want rehashing this time fucking shit all right so the bad guy the bad guy in little mermaid is ursula and uh that was a fat um i guess you'd say a white woman octopus

octopus woman uh originally i think this time they should have like a like a like a like a karen i think ursula should be like a white Karen. And what did Ursula do? I don't remember. I didn't really watch that movie. What was the. So she gave she gave the little mermaid the legs to to get back at her father and start the whole conflict between them. She she takes a voice. So she.

Oh, yeah. She took a voice. Yeah. It's a fair deal. Legs for a voice. is pretty fair i didn't love it when i saw a human pussy she had that like fishy cloaca before that yeah i don't mean to come off as racist i feel bad but something about little mermaid is like iconically kind of white with the long red hair yeah it's a fiction ginger girls everywhere cried i guess now and i

bet that's not a fake thing i bet bet your daughter loved The Little Mermaid Girl. There's not a lot of ginger representation. There are some roles that I feel like, I don't know, the look does matter. I saw this thing, I guess the conservatives are saying that they're going to do a Martin Luther King movie and cast Mel Gibson in the lead. It would not surprise me. If that's right. Just full on Tropic Thunder. That shit just

I have a dream. But it's like, no, no, this has to be a black actor to play Danny Glover play Mel Gibson as a white person. Talcum X. I'm sorry, Kyle. I got wrapped up. What did you say?

No. I just don't care that the Little Mermaid... I guess what I care about is that the Little Mermaid isn't a ginger. But then I looked and that's a black ginger. Her hair's red. Yeah, yeah.

Throw some freckles on that black chick and i'm co-signing this whole movie we're not really the target audience also i am i love the little mermaid you don't love to sing the songs all day every day and buy the merchandise i was i had the little jungle book guy we're not it was all about jungle book i don't know i just don't care i guess but i do see the point that like I guess gingers aren't represented that much, and this is stealing one of their little things away. But shit, go back and watch

the cartoon, man. You don't want to watch this live-action shit anyway. It was going to be shitty. Black chick, white chick, it didn't matter. It was going to be a shitty movie. If they had cast a woman to play Gandalf, I feel like Taylor would be like, no, she's not supposed to be furious because that is not aligned

with the lore how is this different I mean the difference to me is literally just like Lord of the Rings lore I like and care about this lore I don't that's the only like I guess that is I don't care about the little mermaid okay

I mean you know, if you find some reason to, I guess I could jump on board, but I'm just not motivated right now. Show me some more videos of those little girls crying, the ginger girls, because I saw that the other day on Reddit, and I was like, fuck, that's sad. Is that real?

And you know it's not. Some parent was like, alright, girls, here's what we're going to do. How sad are you that they got a ninja playing the Little Mermaid? It's the worst thing ever, right? And they get the kids all fired up. And then they, like, play the trailer. And then they, like, maybe they slap the kids around.

You know how some of the parents are. And they get the kids all teary-eyed. And then they, like, cut to the kid from the commercial to the kid. And they're all crying over there. But it looks sad. And I felt bad for them. That trend of, like, adults filming their kids to like transitively make a point they want to be able to make on social media is annoying it's like do you remember

that meme where it'd be like like 2016 after trump won like you'd see people being like i just spoke to my seven-year-old about donald trump being the president and she asked me this is tremendously disrespectful i can't believe what are we going to do about this mother who's going to sustain us who's going to make us safe he's a racist he's a uh an out and out bigot my god i'm aghast at the prospect like and and then and then everyone in the comments would be like you're lying children don't care it's like and then people would be like i told my son about this and And he said, when he grows up, he wants to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

And it's like, that seems real. Like, I believe that one. Like, can you imagine that being like five and like your, your adult parent comes over and like tells you something so they can film a reaction. Like,

what do you think about this happening? And then you're like, oh, well, I'm reading the facial expressions of my parents. I guess I'll give a response that's in queue with what I anticipate they want like i just don't care i don't care i don't understand why people have such an issue with it it's like if you don't like it just don't see the fucking movie it gives a shit like if i now i really twitter and it's like kanye west is

releasing a new album which is oh it's here we go kanye west tells gap he's terminating their partnership on my twitter right now i don't give a fuck about that, I'm not gonna read that I'm not gonna go to Kanye West's website but I'm not gonna be like fuck you Kanye West, how dare you leave Gap or some shit like that there's so much like bait to try and get you upset nowadays

on all social media where it's like hey, this is a story, does it upset you? and it's like, not really look at all you guys haven't spent the last four days doom scrolling. Yeah, I'm doing doom scrolling. No, I'm watching videos from Eric Bugenhagen,

and I'm learning the correct mindset. That's what I do. Eric Bugenhagen, great fitness channel. Check him out. Oh, yeah. You're allowed to lift more than 10 pounds. He's great. I was watching something from the January 6th hearing, and it was, what's his fucking, is it Ted Cruz?

Yeah, Ted Cruz was questioning some FBI representative, and his question that he kept, you know, sometimes they'll keep repeating the question over and over because the person's clearly being like crazy evasive. A little evasive, yeah. And they'll get to that point where they're like, it's a simple question. And then they're pointing out this person clearly wants to refusing for a reason can everybody see it like pay attention here being sneaky and his question was um were there any fbi agents

on the ground inciting or cooperating with the violence on January 6th. I can't discuss those matters. And well, no. Really? Well, let's pull up a little photo. And this is on the FBI's wanted page. You see this gentleman right here whispering in that person's ear. Well, here he is on your page.

And notice right after he whispers in this person's ear, this person begins attacking the fence. He whispers and attack, whispers and attack whispers and attack well here he is on your wanted page then the next day he's gone he's off the page this man's name is jimmy johnson whatever his fucking name is do you know jimmy johnson we're aware of an individual by that name um yes is is he working with you well we couldn't really discuss anything like that and it's not really pertinent in this at this time to talk about and fbi employees who may or may not be involved in blah blah blah that guy was there working for the fbi and like ted

cruz would you like like somehow like had somebody get to the bottom of this and this this lady's like i can't tell you who that man with the hat on is or if he works for me or if we had anything to do with inciting violence on january 6th that's all i'm saying nothing to do with that and can't talk about it absolutely cannot talk about it and it was like what the fuck am i watching here why is this on a youtube short and not on YouTube short. I'm eating these things like the one before this was a guy kicking a bottle cap.

What the fuck? I wonder if there's more to it. If the long version would be more insightful. No, I got the whole thing. What I'm saying is it's being underplayed. If that's a real thing. I'm just saying it's dangerous to get youtube shorts as your news feed like maybe there's more to the story or maybe it accurately represented well i won't get to the bottom of it so um i just care more about that than the little mermaid being um an eyebrowless

black woman who's who probably kills her she has eyebrows. I bet she fucking kills it. I bet she's great at singing. I bet it'll like, they'll fucking I bet it'll do well. I haven't been reading any news. I've been, I've actually I took up gang stalking. Bought a red car. Been just harassing Target.

You know, it's good to have hobbies. Oh, I made a candle for Target. Oh, I can't tell you that. I mean're all that you're bad mouth in the fbi here i got a new employer you know they're hiring me to gang stalk the enemies of the state i made my first candle i was i was channeling you i i yeah i i trying to get the what is FO like fragrance Oil or something You have to get the percentage right My candle was way too small I took the glass jar I intended to fill up I filled it with wax

And then I melted it Turns out melted wax takes half the space That fluffy So I fucked that up Made that same mistake And my wick I think sucks Because it is the tiniest little flame it's it's it's not burning enough it could smell more you need to buy i made a couple

back in the day where i got these wood wicks off of amazon and i just used like a little super glue to get it like sticking straight up and then when you get the mat the wax melted and everything i fucked up that that pour the first time too because you're like wow it looks so perfect and you walk away for five minutes and you come back and it's just like a cratered moon surface of garbage and you're like god damn it and so what you do yeah mine was worse then so you you almost like wait to pour until it's like borderline almost re-solidifying like it's like starting to get a little thicker just to the point where it'll still make that nice top or that's what the uh that's what the the candle community led me

down when i got into what was it like five years ago i got into making candles for a while in like 2018 slush puppy i was it was i love candles and it adds a lot to to your life your quality of life i think it's just a nice smell in there and And you know, you gotta, you don't, don't be basic with your sense. A great one. What do you got there? What is it? Is it an apple? It sucks. It's tutti frutti. I'm just working my way through it. Oh, overly sweet. You don't want an overly sweet candle. What you want is try and find some, it's called mahogany teakwood. That's the oil scent flavor you want it smells so good i'm like a

butternut butterscotch kind of guy like that's where my i like uh i honestly like like something like vanilla or uh or something like that something that like if you walk the house after being out all day you're like ah it's nice in here but it doesn't become that gross like putrid smell if you have like i don't know pine like really strong pine all day like i feel like i get gross grossed out by that yeah we have christmas time that's the best thing about having a real tree i want to talk about old dogs now and it like like your house can smell like old dog and you want to believe it doesn't oh no people with our hygiene and sense of cleanliness would never have a house that smells like you're 250 pounds

worth of dog that they did like it yeah bro so you burn some candles and it is an effective counter do you take your dogs get them groomed or they don't really require a lot of that huh not a lot but the you know their toenails particular, we like to have someone else do it. Yeah, so I've been struggling to find a groomer for this fucking retarded dog I've got. Literally, people are like, we're not taking new clients. And it's like, what the fuck?

That's discrimination. Maybe if y'all are out there looking for a side hustle, become a goddamn dog groomer because you should sue. They're turning money away they don't have you can't turn down my retarded dog just because he has down syndrome and and don't get me wrong like it's not like i go you go through an interview process and they're like we don't want your money they're like no new clients like you can't even get started so uh it's like a

week or two before i can get anything done to him but uh he needs to be fucking groomed i i start i don't have any pictures of it but i got out the trimmers the other night because his paw pads you know they're they the fur was growing over his pads and he couldn't get any traction he's slipping around everywhere on hardwood so i shaved his paw pads out really well and then his tail looked pathetic it was all stringy and stuff and i was like let me trim that up too and by the time i got done i had fucked his shit up i got his whole like butt area really good like his thigh area like whatever you call that and like there's all sorts of grinch fingers like hanging down there i got all that like and i made it look like he has an ass. He's got two cheeks moving. You gave him some definition.

Yeah, I gave him some definition, but I fucked his tail up. I made it look like... I'll take a picture at some point, but it's bad. Did you take way too much off? I almost shaved his tail. I almost shaved his tail. It's a husky.

I'm going to try and get the knotted fur off and so i start like trying to go at it and so i'm like i get like one of the spaces on the clippers and i'm like trying to push it through his fur but his fur is so thick it won't actually cut so i'm like okay how the fuck are we gonna do this so i get to the point where i'm like i've just got the the clippers and there's no guard on it and so it's like it's ready to number zero and then i'm just sort of going at him like i'm chopping it like a topiary like i'm trying to make one of those like fucking dog shaped like bushes and and then i fucked up and he ends up like his tail looks like a fucking rat's tail and like he's he's just like got these patches on him that are like so i have to bring the whole motherfucker like really short but he's still got like patches on him that are super fucking short. So I have to bring the whole motherfucker really short.

But he's still got this huge beard. And so it just looks like his body just looked like he was naked. And then he just had a bike helmet on. It was just a fucking massive furry head. And then just no fur on him. And he just looked fucked for months. It was fucked. Yeah, I would not want to groom my own dog.

I mean, my dogs, they don't shed because they're like mixed with poodle. So I have to take them every couple months to get them groomed when they get too long. And like it is a world of difference like that. We like started taking them to this like nice place when we first got them and they did a great job. They would even do that

thing where they're like, do you want like their little head like made like a little ball? And it's like, absolutely. They would even do that thing where they're like, do you want their little head made like a little ball? And it's like, absolutely, I do. That's adorable. You should get them like a lion. And then at one point, we couldn't get them in there. And so we had to take them to Petco or PetSmart, one of those places.

And I just, not knowing, was like, it's probably about the same. It's way cheaper, but it was maybe about the same. They like, maybe it was this person's last day because my dogs came out. And I remember standing there like you wait at the desk and they go, we'll go get Fozzie and Teddy. And I saw him come out and I was like, oh, it just looked so ratty, so terrible. They like some layer. It's like, OK, well, teddy's left side's visibly shorter

than his right like there's a patch missing from like one ear and not the other they like left one patch on top of fozzie's head where he's got just a fountain coming out they did a horrible job so i don't take him there anymore i take that's what happened to us we we took him to like a uh a cheap place and it reminded me of like those scenes from like jarhead and shit where they're shaving all the marines heads like i just put him in there and then he just got just go shit fucked up by a staff sergeant and then he's just like comes out he's just like fuck it's like a poor motherfucker what is your major malfunction yeah yeah like i felt so sorry for him he looked fucked up i was looking on like uh one of those apps thumbtack or something and i found a dog groomer

i was like oh perfect like i don't care what it costs 100 200 i don't even know what it costs and uh and what i want is someone who will come to me with like one of those dog vans from dumb and uh and so like that's what i've selected those aren't real who will come to me with one of those dog vans from Dumb and Dumber. That's what I've selected. Those aren't real. They are real. The vans are real. The mobile pet grooming thing. It turns out, I look

into the description of this girl's thing because she's $100 cheaper than everybody else. I'm like, wow, and you can work today? She uses your tub. She comes in your house and throws your dog in your tub and gives him a good scrub down. This guy's great. He said he uses the power of fire.

The fastest groomer in the West. So I didn't go with her. I didn't go with her. I'm glad you're taking such good care of that special little guy. Oh, my God. I guess I'm going to have to get him a fucking surgery, this piece of shit. Last night he started how did you come into the leg did you come into contact how did you own how do you own this fucking i wanted a dog i want to show a picture of the

take the same bus i want zach can you find a picture of the dog i wanted the dog a dog and i'd been looking at at lots of dogs online. I kept seeing this little fucker in the local shelter. And I don't know. I went in there, and there he was. And he was friendly, and he's got a happy little face. And he was way bigger than I thought he was going to be when I got there. Like a moon face, you might say.

Was he way stronger than you thought he would be? He had this. He had a massive cock. there like a moon face you might say yeah yeah like it's stronger than you thought he would and uh for sure his neck can't possibly fill out anymore don't have down syndrome? no it's a real thing he's filled out since then I've been feeding him, he's gained weight

he looks better he doesn't look retarded anymore you gotta fill out the outer sides of his head to make that look normal his neck filled out he was just looking like shit but his back leg has been broken in the past and there's hardware make that look normal they do neck filled out like he was just looking like shit um but but his back leg has been broken in the past and there's like hardware they you know screws and

like bars or plates or whatever and you can feel them um but in one spot it's like showing through the skin and i don't mean like i can kind of see through the skin i mean like that's metal like the skin is like open there you put a magnet on magnet on it? Do you know? Of course not. That would be horrific. What if it feels bad for the dog? It might be magnetic anyway because it's like – Probably titanium, but it might be stainless steel because some vets use stainless steel because it's cheaper in their dogs. So they don't care if it weighs a few ounces here and there.

It's a dog. I was surprised you thought Kyle threw a metal detector, Izzy. But he's been limping a little bit, and it seems like he can't get very comfortable sometimes. He'll get up multiple times and kind of spin around and sit down, and he's always moving around. So I think I'm going to get him a fucking leg surgery. I bet they're going to rape my ass with this leg surgery.

I bet it's... Oh, I don't even want to speculate. It's going to be expensive. You know what you should name this dog? The YouTube money. For the longest time, I've been refusing to actually give him a name. They said his name was Rocky, but sometimes I call him Toby, and I do that whole thing from roots.

I go, your name is Toby. He's hard to respond to any name and i think i've been calling him uh eskimo joe from uh from another racist movie uh django um where you know the the one blast of that guy over there yeah and uh so just just not wanting to actually give him a name come here boy we're gonna watch django but only up to the part where he gets away. I don't know. Oh, you lost your audio. Oh, we lost you. Now we're not going to know what his dog situation is.

That is racist, dog. That dog definitely has something going on there. Why is it? Why is it? Kyle doesn't want to admit he's retired Woody and I instantly Saw it Instantly I showed it to my wife Instantly she saw it

The dog has Down syndrome If not a fetal alcohol I don't know if dogs can Maybe like People feed their dogs like beer sometimes they're like yeah yes yeah he's not retarded he's so retarded he started coughing last night donkey and he coughed for like a solid minute this and i was like don't die nah don't that would solve so many problems don't die and i was already thinking like if you died i'd immediately go buy that really cool puppy i found i was like me and him would be real good

friends and he doesn't have metal in his leg you're just like yeah i've just always kept sticks of xylitol gum around the house. That's just the way I've always been. Oh no, he got into the chocolate. If you didn't know that, xylitol will kill dogs. Tiny amounts of it will kill large dogs. Radiator fluid.

Radiator fluid. I'm not going to kill the dog. We don't need to get dog killing recipes or anything. No, no, you don't need to get dog killing recipes or anything i imagine no no you don't even know dude the thing about it is the thing about it kyle it's easy because they trust you we had a cat cost us a bunch of money the other day because we're we're just sitting there and my wife's like look at the look at the cat and i'm like what the fuck i turned to the cat and it's just drooling like fucking profusely out of its mouth i'm like the cat that cat's meant to drool like what the fuck is wrong with this cat like it wasn't like it wasn't like a like a little it was like strings

of like the entire front of the cat was like soaking wet i'm like oh for fuck's sake and she's a little bit older she's like 10 or 11 years old and so i'm like oh for fuck's sake what is wrong with this fucking cat now because like she's done some stupid shit before like she she knocked a glass off the table once and then just like jumped off the table at the same time and landed on it and just like sliced her leg almost like fuck it like the muscle like playing half cause like this guy's like fucking two grand to fix and i'm like yeah sick thanks for that and yeah yeah food cat and then and then she's yeah she's like drooling and of course my wife loves this cat like this is her first cat and she what's it look like it's a ginger cat it's uh

yeah yeah i know well actually it's a ginger cat it's uh it's hard to find yeah yeah i know well actually it's a female ginger which is actually quite rare but yeah she but my wife loves this cat like she's it's it's her best friend and so of course she goes into a fucking meltdown because the cat's drooling so it must be dying and so she's freaking the fuck out and i'm like all right we'll take it to the vet and i I'm like, so I'm streaming. My wife's like losing her fucking mind. And we said, we end up taking this cat to the vet. And then we get there and the vet's just like, oh, there's nothing wrong with her.

She probably said something caught in her throat. That'll be 200 bucks. Thanks. It's just like, Jesus. I took a day off work, 200 bucks. Take the cat there because it's fucking drooling and then it's just fine we take it home and it's just fucking fine yeah that's so much of what you have to do with vet like i remember when i was in college my brother was in high school he had like

like younger high school he had like a sandwich a peanut butter sandwich with like cooked weed in it that he like like made a firecracker with or something like where you put it in the oven with the weed on it and this this literally happened twice and uh he just left a weed sandwich under his bed and this is a long time ago and we were just sitting around the living room me and my mom my brother's couple people and tobo our little bichon Frise comes out, and he's acting normal at first, but then after a bit, he's stumbling, he's having trouble moving correctly, and then it gets to the point where he's just almost comatose on there, tongue out, eyes red as the devil's dick, and for maybe an hour,

my youngest brother was like, I don't know what's up with him. I don't know what's wrong with him. And then finally we got him to admit, he's like, I'm sorry. There was a whole weed sandwich under my bed. And we're like,

how much did he eat? He's like sandwich. It was like, I I've never done this, but I guess you can put weed in like something with fat in it, like peanut butter. And then like high school kids would like put it in the oven or microwave it or something. And like it made it active enough to get you high.

I don't I never did that. Seems disgusting. But he was like, yeah, he ate it. And we're like, how much? No, no, no. It's a crazy, crazy high. Well, it got fucked up. And he this was the second time he had done this.

And so he came clean more quickly the first time he had accidentally drugged the dog with with the firecracker sitting out he like took him to the vet and then had to pay for it for the the vet to go like is he high and he's like yes and he's like then you take the dog home like there's nothing we can do here that'll be 700 like like that level of shit but yeah weed fucks up dogs just like it fucks up people but way worse i feel i felt so bad for a little cute little tobo that whole evening both of those evenings because it's like for a dog having the best time of his life though he's probably just sitting there in his head and just like listening to like bob marley inside his brain

just like i hope so i think he was probably horrified just like i've never experienced altered reality in any way like i i felt so horrible from i i knew this one kid in high school i didn't know this about him until later but like he would like try and get his dog drunk sometime oh like and i remember once like we were at his house for a thing it was probably like either like early college and like everyone was at his house. We're all sitting down drinking and everything. And he was like wasted and like laughing, like, watch this. I'm going to give beer to Stevie or whatever.

And like you, like even among like drunk, wasted people, like unanimous response. Like, what is wrong with you? Like, don't do that. You're going to get a dog. It was like a lab, like you like don't do that you're gonna we're gonna dog it was like a lab like a like a normal lab looking dog i don't i i don't know probably something like that it's not good for him you shouldn't like that he killed a raccoon last summer the dog can have a beer all right he's a fucking killer this is the same guy that like after the party at his house once because his family had a ton of money like he took us out to breakfast

in his car and he was the guy that like he had all the garbage when we were all under age for all the glass bottles and we were driving on that road and like he just threw a trash bag full of glass bottles outside of his nissan while driving into the other lane and everyone was like what everyone's like what the fuck is wrong with you you know i actually i was it's it's like yeah this guy uh the most abhorrent it's it's it's it's despicable it's despicable behavior a whole bag of like liquor bottles very shitty like like uh like beer bottle stuff that cracks it's glass like yeah it was he did a lot of stuff like that where in his mind it was like this shows i'm like a badass rebel but to everyone around him it was like dude you're unbelievably like just needlessly cruel like what is wrong with you doing this kind of thing like do you not think about like the

people's days are ruined like like fuck. I had that happen the other day. I was driving to the, like to the, uh, what do you guys, we call it the tip in Australia at the dump. What do they do there? The dump. I do where you do where you dump like trash and shit. So I'm driving there and I've got my truck and I've got all this rubbish piled up on the back of it.

And, uh, it's all in, uh, it's all in like garbage bags. And of course there's like millions of beer bottles in there. Cause I'm uh i'm a fucking drunk but the uh i'm driving and there's this woman she's like she's well yeah but it was there was too much recycling because i've got to take out the bins anyway you don't recycle yes but anyway so we're driving i'm driving along and there's one like bag on there and i'm, that's looking a little precarious. And there's this woman and she's just fucking up my ass in this fucking tiny little Nissan Micra. And she's following along and I'm watching

and she's only like 10 metres behind me. And I'm like, can you just fucking relax? Because if anything falls off this, I'm going to fuck you up. So, of course, a trash bag falls off and it hits the road and it just fucking explodes and she just runs it over because she's a fucking moron and so i i pull up and i stop and she gets out of the car and she's like oh i i thought one of those was gonna fall off and i'm like why the fuck were you driving so close to me then she's right i have a couple questions idiot so in america um if you're taking

your own garbage to a dump it usually means either you had like you're a poor person or you live in a rural area so you do you not have garbage men there or no we have no we have garbage it's just that like in australia you only have like call them refuse boys like specific size bins that you can put stuff in so every week you can only get that like that bin collected so if there's more than what you have can fit into those bins then you basically have it allowed a second bin well no so you can only produce a certain amount of rubbish but i have like so i a lot of it was yeah yeah by weight or mass well it's as much as you can fit into these bins and they'll they'll say so they'll collect these the volume of rubbish every week and that's as much as you can get taken

away by them that's a government thing uh yeah it's run by like the local government so they have like we have private entities most of the time here yeah yeah so you can't just put like absolutely everything you have out on anything in there they don't even check yeah is that how they do it it's awesome throw a car battery in there like if you have something enormous like you can be like oh my washer and my dryer i'm replacing them and you can just be like you can be like, oh, my washer and my dryer, I'm replacing them. And you can just be like, I need a large trash pickup, and then they'll come get your shit.

You got to pay a little price for it because it's probably nice. Anything that'll go in there, they'll fucking grab it with that fucking robot arm. I like to watch them because I have so much stuff. I broke down all that gym equipment, and I just had beams, like heavy metal bars like like sticking out at every angle like the fucking iron throne and they took that shit dumped it it's gone car batteries vats vats of oil

auto oil hate it up before they come um not auto oil but i go to the dump because i i usually go to the dump because i'm doing like renovation so i'll have like like a bunch of like lumber and stuff like that and i'll put it on the back and then go and take it because they won't take it uh so i end up with extra trash on the back of there and it's just like i'll take it to the dump but anyway this woman she's fucking like she runs over this bag she gets out of the fucking car and i'm like i i'm wearing like shorts and a t-shirt and i'm driving this shitty truck all right so this woman immediately judges me because i'm covered in tattoos and she's like she's like oh i thought that was gonna come off and i'm like why are you

driving so fucking close to my car then she's like oh i just got new tires i i hope they are like fucked and i'm like it's not gonna fuck your your tires, all right? And I go, I'll give you my number to her husband. I go, I'll give you my number in case there's something wrong with your car. You can call me and I'll fix it. And he's like, okay. And then this woman just goes, like, just quips. She's like, I'll probably just give a fake number anyway. And I'm like, well, now I'm going to give you a fake number because you're a bitch.

So I'll give her a fake number and just drive off like you're fucking judge me like you think i'm duplicitous i'll show you have you ever been like a scrapyard where there's like cars like for people would bring scrap metal to sell sure no one no i've wandered around a lot of those because i would go there looking for stuff to use in videos um usually cars but sometimes i'd be back then i'd be like holy shit there's just that big metal bar there is just scrap can i buy it ten dollars a pound like everything else that big yeah give it to me fuck yeah oh it's three dollars all right like i don't know anything that looked cool like i it was like junkyard wards kind of like like these big piles and they usually separate it by like type of metal so like stuff like washing machines and appliances would kind of be together and um i don't know i

and i also like wandering around uh junkyards as a kid like whenever we were going to fix up a car or something there would be a trip to the junkyard. And my dad might be looking for a transmission for a Corvette or something, but I'd be going through all of the cars in the, and I mean a huge junkyard. Don't think like behind a building somewhere, think an ocean of cars that goes on for acres out in a field somewhere when all the doors are unlocked, there'd be blood in them sometimes from the car accident that, that had there. But there'd often be change or whatever the person had left in their car. And to an eight or nine-year-old kid, it's like, fucking jackpot. I'm averaging 80 cents a car. I'm pulling fuses out because I know we use them sometimes.

Dad, I found $7.09. Yeah, I would wander around and take anything and everything. I found a gun one time in one of the cars. I did not take the gun. I told them that there was a gun out there. That didn't seem like something you'd want to take, especially as a child. But no, that was always really fun to wander around junkyards

and scrapyards. I don't remember. Black gun. I was like 10. It's like a handgun? Yeah. Did you guys ever... You mentioned walking around the junkyards. I remember when I would have to go to funerals

as a kid, really enjoying walking around and trying to find the oldest person. What? Is that not normal? Who's next? I would like to walk around. By oldest, I mean i would try and find one where it was like from the where they were born in like the 1800s or the 1700s or

whatever and it would just i thought that was so neat i think that's cool too i i similarly i have an interest in when they don't live full lives like oh born in 1863 died in 1893 what happened it's interesting and it's sad too but i i enjoyed walking around i would still walk around the 1963, died in 1893. What happened? It's interesting. And it's sad, too. But I enjoyed walking around. I would still walk around the graveyard just looking around, looking at people's dates and stuff. It's interesting. Yeah.

I saw a really sad one the other day. This woman who had a twin, her twin sister died at like three hours old and she lived to be 93. And they're buried like side by side like like and on the same like same gravestone it's like ellie may fucking 1883 to 11 p.m to 2 yeah yeah like one day to the next and the other one lived a day and one lived i don't know 90 years or something like that. She siphoned the potential life out of her. Would you like to have a twin? If you could have made that happen, would you have wanted a twin?

I would definitely not. I have a twin. You have a twin? Identical or fraternal? Yeah, identical. There's another one of you? Yeah. That's got to suck, right?

Let me throw some of the things that i would just imagine would be rough because like everything because because i had siblings um growing up and and i understood that you know we're we're sharing parents time we're sharing like resources like like my christmas is smaller because she's here and then like but i'm happy that everybody's getting gifts you know but but that is a thing but if you've got a twin at least i was the man child right and the oldest like i had my place but but as a twin it's like no matter what you do you have another guy who's a hundred percent equal to you in every way and to even suggest otherwise is sacrilege right

like you might know it you might be like ah i'm so much better with finances than he is or you might be like he's got it together with his relationship like you might have a thing like this in the back of your head but your parents had to treat you identically because you are and so there's no way you got as much love as i got though like they they I got. They don't really treat us evenly because they know that we have different expectations and different goals and shit like that. I'm done when you're fucking seven. And it's birthday party time, right? Who the fuck has to share a birthday party?

You do. You have to share a birthday party. The same shit. The same shit. every year it was yeah it's always sort of got like we grow up and you get personalities when you're in high school and shit like that and then you start liking different things it's was there ever a feeling of like you wanted to distance yourself from your twin a bit to like establish more individuality or you kind of just naturally did your own things i think once we sort of grew up like when we i think once we sort of grew

up like when we were like when we sort of moved out of home and stuff like that we were like pretty different like we're not we do have very we do have fairly similar interests like we're both into gaming and stuff like that it's uh but even when we're growing up we had did you ever take advantage of having a duplicate of yourself with work relationships anything like that any like i'm not i'm not suggesting i'm not suggesting anything illegal but if you uh if you uh if if you'd like say you're a twin and you'd look exactly the same and you lost your license then what you could do is just get a copy of your twin's license and so you would never lose your license um yeah which is which is a it's it's a it's definitely

a legal idea and i wouldn't let me ask you this let me ask you this because because i would get my twin me and my twin would flip a coin and one of us would have to fake their death and the other would reap all the benefits of that as far as taxes, inheritance, insurance, anything that we could do. But we would fake his death and we would live one life but really well. We'd both work...

Not a bad idea. We'd live one life but really well. We'd both see this shit. It's like Jerry and George where they're like, maybe together we can do the work of one man you could go like all these guys like if you find one of those guys who's an influencer who's like telling you to hustle or whatever they're like you gotta get up at 4 a.m and take a cold shower not if you got a fucking partner not if you got a partner you can wake up at 11 a.m and go back to

bed because kyle number 2's working today Like you're all good You're probably gonna argue over who's doing the most work And shit My brother and I used to just We'd arm wrestle for it Then we'd suck each other off Constantly

We used to beat the shit out of each other We fought so much What's the point? See that I don't understand did that make people are always like uh with your brothers it's like uh it's like oh yeah i am i i used to fight with my brothers or something like that then you imagine it's just like a now we used to we used to like get down like we would we would be with that like fucking shoe shining each other's faces like just fucking left right left right what was the record like like how was it like 50 50 on who won pretty even yeah that's why well i said i started doing boxing when i when i was in high school and uh he didn't

do boxing and so i got a few over him from that but also he was he fought really dirty so like it was like it was fine yeah yeah it was pretty it was pretty even yeah we definitely definitely hurt each other a few times but it's are you uh are you taller than your twin uh no we're about the same we're pretty much exactly the same size. He might be a little bit taller, like a centimeter or something. What does he look like now? Does he have, like, my haircut and a clean shaven face? Yeah, he's a lot more clean cut than I am. I'll find a picture.

Shouldn't share a license anymore, huh? No, no, definitely not. No, because I have, like, I'm covered in tattoos, and I've got a big beard and stuff, and he doesn't have tattoos. So it's like we do look a lot different now, but it's still pretty similar. Yeah. I can't even, it even seems like I'm so selfish.

I'm imagining it would have been difficult to grow up in Taylor's situation with two brothers. It was fun. Oh man, I don't get a new rifle this year because little Joe has never had one. It's i don't get a new like rifle this year because little joe has has never had one it's his turn to get a oh kyle you can get a you can get one of those things that hold the holds the bullets for for your gun oh oh no like it was just me right so like what but you had friends though growing up you had pals all the time which i didn't i had my cousin over

occasionally and then you know like whatever friends from like the real world but you like had like a couple guys all the time throughout childhood heaven heaven brothers makes it a lot more fun like my yeah like me and my younger brother the middle brother like we're only like a year and a half apart sorry yeah that's him on the left he's got like a shorter beard yeah i see yeah look similar to you yeah just just yeah dude i asked i asked the height thing because i remember like in grade school there were these twins and they like they they like were on our soccer team didn't even actually go to our school but they were fully identical face everything but one of them was like two full inches taller than the other and i remember thinking at the time like that sucks for the shorter twin like yeah exactly

the same but shorter i should call him mini me i bet they evened out later i don't know yeah did one just hit puberty a little quicker like we only played like it was like kindergarten and first grade soccer and then they were never in my life again. I only saw them for like a year or two. That's similar to my situation, though. My brother is just a tiny bit taller than me, sorry, my twin brother. But my older brother and my dad are like a good two inches taller than me. I'm actually the shortest male in my family, and I'm 6'2". So I'm like, for most people, I'm like, I tower over most people. And then in my family, I'm like two so i'm like i for most people i'm like i tower over most people

and then like in my family i'm like i'm a fucking midget so it's like i mean better to be the shortest in six two than like the shortest in five two yeah yeah exactly yeah every once in a while you see a guy in public who's like five two and it's like damn like this guy's grinding like a south american like a lot of those guys are really short i've seen yeah they are like i don't i don't know like guatemalans or something like that like like those guys are like uh i saw a picture of a guy with henry sahudo because i was on the mma subreddit and and sahudo towered over this young man and the dude had like old face. Like he was an older guy. Like it was like an old man who was,

I don't know, fucking five foot flat or something. And then he looks South American to me. Yeah. My wife's tattoo artist. He's like, he's really short. He'd be like four,

nine or something like that. Like he is like below my chest level. He's not like, he's not like the classic, like he's a dwarf. Like he's, he's a normally proportion like looking human being, level he's not like he's not like a classic like he's a dwarf like he's he's a normally proportioned like looking human being but he's like the wolf size isn't it interesting that it's crazy isn't it interesting that i think only like isn't it like only 15 percent of men are six six feet or taller right but all of us here are we're a pretty tall country

also like like i'm looking at this he's from a different country what i'm saying is like all of us here are we're a pretty tall country also like like i'm looking at this what i'm saying is like all of us as well though yeah yeah yeah like bolivia is apparently the shortest the average male height in bolivia five four average female height in bolivia four foot ten and a half so very short what's the tallest i think we figured that out it's like fucking norway and navy or something ic Iceland, Norway. Northern European somewhere. I don't want to look it up, but it's one of those. Dude, I saw this video from one of those countries, one of the former Viking countries.

And there was this protest, and there was a lot of Syrians and refugees from the Middle East there. And they're yelling at a guy. They're like, we like we're gonna out breed you you have one baby two babies i have eight sons i have eight sons we're the new like fucking sweden we're the new sweden you pussy what the hell is going on yeah is this like a fight like like i've got 10 kids okay walter yeah yeah they're screaming this in the street oh the internet's a great place everybody's always screaming in the street i've never

once screamed in the street yeah i can't say i ever have either i don't know not one like watching people stream in the street like uh we used to live across the road from this like shitty little like they're what are they what are they called in america like housing projects or whatever the fuck they are they're like shitty shitty little fucking houses where crackheads live and we we lived across the road from one and fuck it was entertaining like you see a couple walking up the street and they're arguing about like who smoked their last their meth and and they'd they'd be screaming at each other at like 1am and then they'd stop and they'd start walking up the street and then you yell yell something at them and then they'd think it was

the person behind them yelling at them and then they'd start again and it's fucking hilarious it's like this endless entertainment, I love that shit just antagonising methodics, oh hell yeah, I love that from the safety of your balcony or your home I would hope

they're quick, they can be quick yeah, one of them still we had a couch like on that we had this like stoop at the front of our house where we just like sit outside and uh in the sun and and smoke weed and watch traffic go by and uh and one of them stole our couch so we had to go and get it back but uh yeah they'll cut they'll kind of be the same we did have a few times that we come home and there'd be one asleep on the couch outside of our house and we have to kick him out. How'd you get your couch back?

Was it abandoned or did you have to seize it back? Oh, I just went up there and there was like 10 houses and I was just knocked on every door. And I'm like, got a couch, got a couch, got a couch. Eventually, this guy opened the door and he's looking shady. I'm like, did you steal our couch? And he's like, no, no, no, mate. Give us our couch back. And he's like's like oh okay because that's how stealing works there like it's like swipe or no swiping rules you call them on it it was like it was me and my housemate my housemates like really tall and like i'm really tall and he's just like this little tweak

a meth head it's like what's he gonna do like like he's gonna we're taking the couch from going on the couch i had like a cover like sort of thing like it was it was like a stupid it had like a veranda sort of thing that went over it so yeah sounds classy i was under a roof you had a couch under a roof yeah yeah yeah but it was like on our front doorstep i think how old were you during this uh like 23 oh okay i was picturing like a nine-year-old and i'm like god damn like this is like a where when we moved out of home like we lived in a house with like five dudes and we all just with stoners and played Xbox. So we just had like all these setups around the house where it'd be like,

yeah, let's smoke weed out on the front porch tonight. Let's smoke weed in the backyard tonight. So we just had fucking couches everywhere. You don't want to have to smoke and then go inside and sit down. No, no, no. I mean, yeah, you can just, if you want to smoke in the garage, there's fucking couches in there, you know, just to change your scenery. I've told you I want to smoke in the garage there's fucking it's counters in there you know it's just a change of scenery tattoo how did you get to it like what made you decide to go down there

were you drinking were you what was your first tattoo how did you design when i met my wife where she had a few tattoos and i'd always wanted one i just sort of uh i think i just sort of wouldn't commit to it i was like i want one but i'm like i don't know what to commit to and stuff like that and i met my wife and she had a she had a few already and she's like just pick something like it doesn't it's not a huge issue i mean if you don't like it you can just tattoo over it later or get laser it's like it's not as permanent as most people think and then uh i was like oh i want to get something like meaningful and and my entire life is like video games i'm being a streamer and stuff like that i wasn't a streamer at the time but my entire life was video games i was like i'm gonna get a video game how to what's

my favorite video game and of all time and then i've thought of conkers bad fur day so i ended up getting a conkers bad fur day tattoo i have conkers a squirrel smoking a cigar on the back of my leg and i was i didn't know where to get it my wife's like get it on your leg and then if you don't like it you can just wear shorts or something like that i'm like yeah sweet and then i got one and then i was like okay i'm addicted to that so then i just got hundreds so now i just have fuck loads nobody ever stops at one i feel like there's there's way more people with like five plus tattoos than there are with one tattoo yeah yeah and and there's a lot of people like i i have like two sleeves so i have like both of my both of my arms uh there's a lot of people and they're like oh why aren't you worried about if you have to work at a job? And I'm like, look, I'm like 35.

I'm comfortable. If I go into a workplace and I'm like, I want to work here, and they're like, we don't like people with tattoos working here. It's like, I'm not going to be like, oh, I'll cover them up. I'm going to be like, fuck you. I don't want to work at a place that's like that. So, like, suck, suck my dick. I'm going to find another job elsewhere you know it's uh that stuff is like quickly tattoos and beards quickly

have become okay in professional settings like as as recently as like 12 years ago it was like no now the beard thing is cyclical like i bet it is. They're kind of in fashion right now, beards. A lot of guys wear rock beards. A lot of my dad had a beard in the 80s and stuff, and then he shaved it in the 90s and 2000s, and now it's back. I need the jawline help with the fatness. It's definitely very clutch for that.

There's no faster way to look like you gained 100 pounds than to clean shave. It's facial contouring for guys. A beard can be. It improves the shape of your face for sure. My face is fucked. I can't wrinkle my forehead right now. My dad had a similar thing happen to you

where he had cancer on his face and so he had it on his nose because he's worked outside all his life and uh so he had it removed and then they were like we should check the rest of your face and so he shaved his beard and then he had like cancer underneath his beard as well and so they removed that and they they got it all and he's he's he's fine but they're like you shouldn't you should monitor this like if you have any weirdly colored moles and stuff so he can't grow he can't grow a beard back because he's like oh i want to monitor this stuff so now he

doesn't have a beard and so like he had a massive beard like mine and now he doesn't have one so i'm like yeah you're a bitch yeah worried about your health huh yeah yeah every time i start to like any i've never let my beard get like nearly as long as yours but like all there have been times or been like i want to let it like grow out and it'll just get like a little longer and i'll be like no in the mirror like no this is now making me look fatter again gotta go back like you can't do it tonight i would say that not that you asked but this is now making me look fatter again gotta go back like you can't do it tonight i would say not that you asked but this is your sweet spot and it's perfect nice and nice yeah it's so it's so great to be able to fake just a little better shape with it because i also have like the

like it's genetic for sure because when i am fully shaved and i'm in the best shape of my life i still have a little double chin i still got one my dad has a little like not like double chin is kind of dramatic but you can see like the second like fat ridge my younger brother has that and he's in tremendous shape like never been fat in his life and so i just need it i desperately and i have a round face anyway with a big old poofy cheek so it doesn't do me any favors and around face so yeah i i was i was that little kid i had the you know squeeziest little cheeks i'm sure you did too you you got very pinchable cheeks slush oh hell yeah yeah no but i i used to be i used to be i mean as far as

uncomfortable cheeks, it's... Nobody ever pinched my fucking cheeks. That's some weird shit. Oh, really? I'm trying to remember... I had one aunt

that I think kissed me on the lips one time when I was like 10. That's weird. Where did that come from? Out of nowhere? No, I'm just talking about... It was like a peck on the...

You know, it was like... I'm too old for that shit. I'm like 10. Get out of here with that. Who's that motherfucker, the football player that kisses his son on the mouth? Tom Brady. Look, if that's what it takes to achieve, line those little boys up, all right?

Hey, look, maybe this is how... I talk about this so often i'll fucking hide it it freaks me the fuck out i also i really i don't like it either it's bizarre yeah greatest quarterback of all time i don't give a shit i don't care if he loves it the fucking you know i saw the other day and i didn't judge it a bit i saw this guy who had like um his brother has down syndrome and uh he i want to say that he had gotten his brother's face tattooed to his arm and like one of those really intricate tattoos and he's showing his his brother hey buddy i got you on my arm and he's like touching it and he's just like blown away by it and like he kissed his

brother and i was like all right well that's okay that's okay why is it okay if one of them is retarded, but it's not okay if one of them is a child? He kiss your dog? Yeah. I mean, I don't make out or anything. Who the fuck is that? That's probably not real. At least close your eyes. Is that Tom Brady's dad?

Is this in Photoshop? This is Photoshop, right? No. It's probably real. The owner of the Patriots? No, there's no way he's kissing the owner of the patriots workplace harassment god damn it i'm so hard hey the patriots is the one who got caught on camera at the massage parlor fucking the whores remember that no who yeah on the patriots doing that the owner oh i i did not know that craft right and then his name maybe i was right on all this i know he's like crazy wealthy but like is he the craft is he like the mac and cheese guy or am i like crazy to make that connection

probably not I don't fucking know. Zach says it is. He says he owns Kraft Mac and Cheese. Yeah. He is the Mac and Cheese. I wish that one day he'd call him with that whore. He'd just been like, it ain't easy being cheesy, and he just walked away. Drop the fucking mic. Like, yeah, I like them Puerto Rican hoes. It ain't easy being cheesy, though.

Just drop that mic. But instead he would like sued anybody that had a problem and like suppressed it real well. And I guess that cost a lot more money than being cool about it. I wonder what's going to happen to Matt Gates. I'm really torn on his whole...

Who's he? He's the Florida guy. Matt Gates is a Republican House of Representative dude from the Panhandle area, I think. I'm 80% sure about that. He hired girls to fuck him.

The challenge is he went and hired a bunch of college kids. They're 19 years old. No problem, right? A 17-year-old slipped in. Shit. He hired this 17 year old to you know to party to fuck him and his friend and they did and um so far this is actually all legal right you know you say hired a girl to come fuck you i say gave my girlfriend some extra money

while we were fucking or like you know you say tomato i say tomorrow can i jump in i don't want to fuck up your story but there is a weird distinction because sometimes chicks would say yeah i can come over could you give me gas money right and it's like man at what point do i give you the 20 before or after we have sex. Which one's less TV? I'll leave it on the bedside table. I didn't pay her for sex. I just gave her $900 towards tuition. You know, you say tomato, I say tomato. You pay him to leave.

So anyway, the 17-year-old slips in there. Well, you can have a 17-year-old girlfriend at 38. She's above the age of consent in that state. The thing is he flew her to i think the caribbean oh and that makes it traffic like sex trafficking a minor and um he's pretty dead to rights like they have the venmo transactions and shit like this happened um i don't think she's denying it you know she's like yeah this is what's up um morally i'm a little obviously like she was she was like i'm gonna do that but did she yeah him she was 18 or she faked that she was 19

so all her friends were 19 she was at college you might believe she was at night you don't pick up 17 year olds in college typically but um but she slipped in there with the 19 year olds and he didn't check ids or anything and um you know look he was 38 he probably i don't love it but the only reason it's illegal is because she flew to the caribbean i think that part is probably right i think the state lines would have gotten him in trouble, actually. If he were moving, I know there's a law about that. I believe it has some racial history to it, too. It was something about preventing interracial couples from moving across state lines.

There was something about that, how the Mann Act, I think it's called, initially originated. But I think that alone, if he's paying to move her across state lines for the purposes of sex and if there's money involved like like he's in violation of that if that's still like a thing matt gates is one of my least favorite politicians he belongs to what i call the performative branch of the republicans where all they do is talk about culture war and stuff like that um but if i try to be unbiased, it's like, she did lie about her age. Yeah.

I don't care. Even the 17 year old thing would have been okay. Had she not crossed state lines. So it feels like a technicality, you know, like it's hard to defend this dude. He's taking advantage of a woman who's too young, but,

but he's not though. If you take it one step at a time, like, okay. Prostitution. I'm okay with that. Like, like if you're paying a 19 year old person, what he should have done, what he's not, though. If you take it one step at a time, like, okay, prostitution, I'm okay with that. Like, if you're paying a 19-year-old person, what he should have done,

what he's guilty, the most guilty of, is not IDing. Because I feel like you really, if these girls are 19, you're 19? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're 19? What about you? Yeah. So none of you are 18. Can I see everybody's IDs just so we're all comfortable? This is me, by the way.

Just so you know I'm not a crazy guy. This is me. Old Matty Gates. And you're Lauren. All right, Lauren. Oh, a Scorpio. Very nice. You could have had fun with it, not made it weird.

That's what I do. Ah, 2005, a good year. That's what I do. You're a politician politician you probably need to do that shit if you're like that's part of your job it's not fucking up like that you know if you're meeting young women who like like i can't tell the difference necessarily between 2021 and like 17 and 360 days like jesus christ so show me your fucking id so it seems like they're having those coke parties that one guy talked about yeah remember that when they're like that one guy's like everybody's doing coke and going crazy and then they're like lies here's picture upon picture of you doing coke and being crazy i don't think you're proving what you think here it's like

it's like even the wheelchair guy's getting in on it you think everybody else like come on yeah but i guess i'm i don't have an issue with the prostitution part because it seemed like adults with a transaction everybody's 17 year old part i don't like that at all but that's on her that's like 90 on her and 10 on him like he definitely should have id'd like every reasonable adult male in any position should do um but but but she especially if it's a prostitute but he was flying too close to this not if she's a prostitute i mean she's not she's clearly not a prostitute she just wants some money for college and so she that's like it's not like a it's not like a professional it's like i'm with like it's like she's but she's just doing it

because she like her friends were like, hey, there's this rich guy. We're going to get some money out of him. And it's like, maybe if you're doing that, if you're like, yeah, I want to fuck girls that are right on the limit. It's like, check the fucking limit. Let's talk about two Republicans who aren't probably pedophiles and do get something done, and that's the governors of Texas and

Florida, because they've had some great antics this week. We've got Rick Scott over in Texas, and our boy, it starts with an S, the popular guy in Florida. What's his name? Sanders? You're thinking of Ron DeSantis. DeSantis! Yeah, alright. So they've been trucking, I say trucking as just a general term,

illegals, I like that word better, to these liberal cities in the north. And up until now, I believe they had sent them to D.C. and to Chicago. And they've been busing them. It's fairly cheap to bus a bunch of people.

They've got all these people they rounded up who came in illegally, and they're like, hey, oh, you came here for the American way? Well, we're a little stuffed up here at Texas in this border town, but guess where they love you? In the sanctuary city called Chicago. So, hop on the bus. It's heading there right now.

Here's some sandwiches. And they've been doing that. Well, this week, both of them came up with a new idea. It's a twist on the old idea. DeSantos, I may get these mixed up, but the guy from Florida flew Guadal... not Guatemalans. idea um the santos i may get these mixed up but the guy from florida yeah flew guada not guatemalans where the fuck were they from some south american country he flew some south americans to martha's vineyard like a bunch of them like 120 of them or something it was 12 million dollars

for the flights he flew him the fuck up there and put him out so and then and then the guy in texas rick scott he got a bunch of them and sent them to um kamala harris his hometown dude you want to talk about performative or where he lives or something yeah that it is so fucking pretty and like in the stupid part about it is they're like i'm ron desantis you know i care deeply about our border and so i'm sending these illegals deeper into the country. It's like, what are you talking about? It is so performative to do that. I agree with Taylor. I came for the show.

Oh, you care about immigration, and yet you're moving people. Let me jump in on this. So what Ron DeSantis said was he spent $12 million flying 200 people to Martha's Vineyard. $12 million flying 200 people to Martha's Vineyard. And he feels like the people at Martha's Vineyard, Joe Biden and his open borders don't care about this. Maybe if they felt our pain, they would. That's his thing.

I think like Taylor said, this is performance art. This is bullshit. He's not trying to get anything done. What he's trying to do is win votes. He's trying to win votes by pulling stunts. Yep. He's making them look foolish. I. He's making them look foolish. I think he's making them look foolish. And you know,

in Martha's venue, they instantly got beds for everyone and gave them food and water and put their food, their money where their mouth was. Those are like the richest people in the country today. They did. Yes. Tomorrow,

the next day, the next day, the next, because that's what it's like on the dozens of millions of dollars. Does he have to fly these people? Now that's the weird thing. Because that's what it's like on the sport town, right? How many dozens of millions of dollars does he have to fly these people to Paris this year? See, now that's the weird thing. How did it cost 200 people to fly? That's a lot of money per flight.

If it cost $1,000 each, that's $200,000. Okay, all right. If it cost $10,000 each, we're at $2 million. What kind of flights were we doing? Was this some sort of P. Diddy World Tour that we did for each of them in their own private plane? It's a bit weird. Emeril Lagasse is their private chef on the way.

Like, you're a Martha's Vineyard. I get a house over there. I get used to the Martha's Vineyard life. 60,000 per ticket. What the fuck? Why do they call $60 a person but i were they military flights or something like that would be cheaper because they put them in a cargo plane you know

that thing where they like military flights are incredibly expensive it's it's the most expensive way to fly people like there's already planes like moving around probably i'm telling you it is a huge waste of money you want want someone efficient, you go to the capitalists, not the government. I guarantee you can book a flight right now to Martha's Vineyard or wherever the nearest airport is for under $300. Not by a military

plane. Not on a military plane. I'm talking about fucking, I'll get an Orbitz or whatever the hell and it'll be done in five minutes. I don't understand how you're costing thousands of dollars to send these fuckers up there. I'm pretty sure they weren't round-trip tickets either. But even if it cost $12 million, it would be worth in five minutes i don't know you're right you're costing thousands of dollars to send these fuckers i'm pretty sure they weren't round trip tickets either but even if it costs 12 million it would be worth it and here's why it is a huge news story and it's and look to his point there are people in chicago who are like oh shit this is what it's like these people just show up every fucking day busload after busload like and we what are we supposed

to do like eventually like our resources will be tapped. These people are not Chicagoans or whatever, Cogowans, whatever the fuck. No, that's not how it's going. These border towns have... The border has millions of... I wish he'd build a railroad. Not like the hundred people at a time he's trying to do.

And add that, it's ultimate performative bullshit, because he pretends the Texas guy to be like what's his rick scott texas right he's the one who's like barks all loud about like gotta protect the border gotta do this and that and then it's like oh you got all these people and you're not gonna send them back to mexico you're gonna say i don't think he's allowed i don't think he's allowed to send them back i think it's a situation where he's good i don't think he's i don't think he's forcing them onto the bus. I think he's saying,

Hey, all of you people who we had to let go, how'd you like to go to Chicago instead? And he's like loading them up. That, that was my like interpretation. It's still performative bullshit. Yes,

we want that. We need to, I want to jump out. First of all, it's funny. Tell me it's not funny. Taylor, the $12 million is for this program where they ship aliens places or illegal aliens. I know.

I love it. It wasn't just for this flight. So that's why the $12 million didn't make any sense. Even the government doesn't spend that much. It's establishing the other thing that will distribute the aliens. So back more realistically on this. It's performance. It's not trying to make a difference.

My question is, how does the performance pay off? I'm curious about that. Is he going to get more votes? He's trying to get votes. He's not trying to fix problems. He's trying to get votes. And my question is, Willie, in my news feed, my news feed is Reddit and Google News.

Everyone's hating on him. They're saying this guy's a scumbag and he's wasting money and this is stupid and Biden's going to cut his federal budget by $12 billion to make up for this and et cetera, et cetera. But that's my news feed. Maybe I have a skewed information diet. This hits that perfect little note that Trump was always so good at of saying, hey, average Joe American, I don't know how you like it, but, uh,

as you noticed, there's millions of illegals coming over our border every day and just walking in and, and, and we're, we're having, and they're selling the position that they're having to support those people.

Well, I thought we'd give some of those people who make the decision to just let them walk on in here. Let them see how they like it. They averaged. When I hear that, I'm like, yeah. Yeah, let's see how they like it. That message just sells so well.

Just the message behind it. It's definitely going to show up like Republican support. Let's show them how it feels. He's telling that. I think the people that are already going to vote for him, it's like, fuck yeah. This is a good thing. People who don't know who he is would hear that alone because that's what they're gonna talk about it to their friends they're gonna be like hey you've seen that guy that's funny as fuck now though here's the other thing right he didn't he didn't

just say he was gonna do a thing he did a thing like we're talking about what he did not what he said and so often in politics we talk about what people said it's like wwe it's like oh the macho man mitch mcconnell said that you're fiscally irresponsible and then we go back and forth but what's my said you're telling me your tax policy leaves us dangerously over leveraged in the middle east it used to be the way to win elections was to win the middle right the left's gonna vote for the left the right's gonna vote for the right now we want to win the middle trump took a new strategy where he said fuck the left middle can suck a dick we're gonna have the right so motivated that i'm gonna win this thing and he won one and he lost one he beat hillary and he lost to biden is it good or not i don't know i think the fact that like uh he being the president

motivated the left as well though because like once he was actually president because people like the left was like it's not gonna happen like he's fucking he's not gonna be enough president but then when he did end up president and then they all started freaking out because i was like i hate him so much then they're like okay now we're motivated so he motivated the left to vote to get rid of him and he didn't motivate the right good enough to keep him in when he was going again. So it's like the double edged sword. I can't figure out if Trump is good or bad at running elections. I mean, one in the presidency is pretty solid.

The COVID thing is such a curveball for his presidency. And he handled it so poorly yeah you know it's so hard like that is just such a unique and like unsustainable like economic situation that no one could possibly know the outcome of that i hear his narcissism prevented him from handling it well he had to go up there every day deliver these press conferences by himself he had to tell everyone how genius he was. It was Trump, Trump, Trump all the time. Trump literally pitching solutions like bleach or disinfectant in your blood and the ultraviolet rays.

And he was always telling the doctors were so impressed by how quickly I'm picking this up. Maybe I should have been a doctor. I don't know. I went with president. His narcissism destroyed his own campaign uh yeah that's what's up you know you know this thing could have united people like 9-11 did and and brought him to the peak of popularity like bush did but instead he took it the other way because he didn't manage it well i saw an old clip the other day and it was barack obama reading mean tweets and uh it was one from donald trump and it was he was like barack obama will go down in history as one of the worst presidents ever and barack obama said to the

camera ah but i will go down to something i've got something that you'll never go down as and that is i was yeah president but the least i will go down yeah it was something like and it was like oh yeah trump really won this one i kind of wish there was a part two like where like the trump like is in a little bubble and then that one expands he's just like hey i want trump to have a comeback i wish trump was like not so petty that he couldn't make peace with the Obamas and have fun with them about this whole thing. I like that timeline.

If he could yuck it up with the Obamas and make jokes and take jokes back and forth, he could be Emperor Trump. He really could. That's all it would take. But he's so petty. You think Obama wants to banter with him? No, of course not.

Obama would also have to be into it. Obama hates him, clearly. But Obama would banter with him if Trump wasn't such a dick. Obama would hit it back a little at least. I mean, bantering with W is just like swish over and over. That guy has no bants like at all he would get absolutely destroyed by any British

kid in 2008 on Xbox Live that's true anyone would line up line it up and knock him down freaking out instantly to be like yo mom and then he's controller just go straight through the screen god damn it mom these fellas are making 9-11

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You're going to be coming in an unbelievable way. It's going to blow your mind. It's going to blow the mind of your partner. Whoever that is, you're going to love it. I have an idea. We'll have to talk to Derek to see if this is possible. Can we do a golden ticket type thing? Wait.

For what? Do I get the tour of the factory? Why would you get to do anything? You're a host here. You're a co-owner of the company or whatever. Why would you get anything? You're Willie Cronkite, buddy. Woody's the guy.

Woody's buying thousands of bottles like that one guy trying to win the country. Jesus, Woody. I'll take you rafting. You don't have to keep buying them 50 a pop. I'm just saying, maybe we could give something away. We could throw a couple golden tickets in some bottles. I like that idea. I don't know.

I'm stoned right now, so it just seemed like a good idea to me. If you hate the golden ticket idea, that's okay. But I got a golden ticket. um that's okay but i i gotta go i like it yeah did you sing the song did you just think of the song and that's what made you think of that well i was just thinking how happy i'd be if i if i opened something and you know like like cereal boxes used to do that like like oh sometimes there'd be a toy in there and as a kid like that was a big deal it was like oh shit there's a decoder in there a

little thing you look through and they'd have a puzzle on the back that you can only read if you have one of these and it's like shit keep up with that like they don't give you anything anymore i'd like that if when i bought a bottle of cum pills oh look at that yeah what is glasses in there huh wow it's woody's real band-aid. It's a light of Woody's cup. Run home, Woody. Run home and don't stop until you get there. Come, pills, pothole, and a band-aid. I think it's a good idea.

We'll think of something. It's got to be funny. It's got to be worthwhile. Are you guys ready for a question? Sure. This is the $10 Patreon level there they ask questions and we use some okay if you're fucking this is i'll ask slush to go first if you're fucking a trans woman as a straight man would you want their dick to be hard since it's a sign of arousal or soft and maybe worry that you suck at sex absolutely hard i would love the confidence

so but the trans woman like a dude that's become a woman that was going towards a woman yeah it's a dude that now identifies as a the penis should include you oh wait that was maybe insensitive way to phrase it but it's a former dude who now identifies as a woman okay um hard or soft uh i i don't know i i think hot i want them to know that i want to know they're enjoying it exactly i'm with you dude if that guy's not hard i'm not doing my job but that girl's not hard if that woman doesn't have a hard day this is an easy one if it's if a trans woman has had enough hormones then then they stop being able to have erections. Not interested then.

I hear you. I want to be I want to be fucking them up and then reach around and feel like I'm going all the way through. It's like that thumb illusion. Exactly.

Exactly. That's all. Now, exactly. Exactly. That's all I want. Now you're onto something. Now you're onto something. That would make me feel massive. I definitely would. You see those super feminine trans women, like if you're scrolling Pornhub and then you're like,

it'll play like those random fucking thingos. And then all of a sudden just see like a super feminine woman that just has like a fucking cock that just makes me feel so emasculated it's like that is like the biggest cock i've ever seen like on a on a a woman for that for all accounts is one of the most feminine women i've ever seen it's like how did that happen like she's got it all yeah you win you win yeah we've talked about this before i think we did a show once where we looked at transsexual prostitutes on craigslist and like one of the yeah yeah and we went through them and we called one and uh page and one of the things uh we we kept finding over and over they all had just huge cocks like there were so few of them that had

like even average to below average they were all like eight nine ten twelve i'm not joking 11 13 like crazy shit now now at the time i bought that hook line and sinker now i want to know like i need to see these pictures again and look for some forced perspective. I don't think we need to do that episode again. I mean, I'd send you some links, I guess, later. What if it's someone who's like 5'2 and you just don't know? I'm sure there's like you can Google like

escort.com and they like there you go. Because I remember... Just go to prostitute.gov and book an appointment. The guides gotta hook you up not gov but yeah you could just google escort and you'd find a list of prostitutes in your area and i'm sure they're not all cops is that true you could have a prostitute at your house within you know minutes like like no problem yeah

like a pizza is it but is it like is it like illegal like what's it is it um no she's coming to like hang out with you the the sex is um incidental oh okay so it may or may not happen i mean it's up that's all up to her it's it's like one of those things when um i saw a guy uh on the one bite pizza review thing. His name's escaping right now. But anyway, this guy was, I think it was during COVID. And this guy's in his apartment making pizzas. And he lowers it down with like a rope. And he's like, I'm going to be honest.

It was like an eight. It was like an eight. Oh, I lost my train of thought. Shit. Rewind me a second. It was about escorts and Googling and getting them to your place. And how illegal it was. Oh, shit.

How did that tie into the one bite pizza review? I'm not sure. Damn. What's gone now? I want you guys to know this death by gummy shit's no joke. It's so strong. No, I don't think we can do that anymore. Go through the hookers. But that was that

was a fun episode i remember that what i remember the most is we finally i think we spoke to one who was from thailand and had sort of escaped thailand and when we heard her story it was like a bummer that was that's where i was headed like yeah it influenced my views permanently on how I treat trans people in general, which is like, be nice. These people are just having a harder time in life than average, right? There's a real rush time of it.

Yeah. There's suicide rate is far higher. You know, do whatever pronoun you want. You got it. I'm your guy. Name it, name it.

I'll, I'll do, I'll do my very best. Taylor stepped away. This is the time to squeeze an MMA. Do it. Oh, man. It was crazy. The whole weekend was crazy. The whole thing got fucked up.

Kamzat Shemaev is now like a fucking heel, a villain. He's taking shots at Kabib and like like just being a real scumbag took shots at him uh yeah he did yeah he did um they're both pieces of shit though did you like khabib's shots for those crazy he's like i look at him and he doesn't have if he good muslims keep good people around if he has more muslims around him you know you need some muslims around you because when you don't then you do bad things because you got bad people around he's like implying that if you're not a muslim you're a bad person and he's really pointing the finger at darren till like hey darren till you're not a

muslim you're not a good person you're not a good influence influence for jamiah that's why he's having these other issues but there's something what are the issues that he had here's what happened this guy if you try to make 170 pounds and you come in at 172, 173, you missed weight. It sucks. You did your best. This guy came in at like 180. He missed weight by so much that I don't know. He just fucked up kind of bad.

And Khabib said that he didn't have enough Muslims around him. Now, I interpreted that as, oh, here it is. If you're a Muslim, you should have good people around you. Muslims who can say, hey, don't do this. I recently watched the weigh-in of Kazimash Chumaev. I followed what was happening with his weight and looked at his team. There are no Muslims around him, and this is very bad, because if you are a Muslim, you need good, strong people around you that will say, come back this so i took it as look this guy likes discipline he got too fat he couldn't make weight and he missed it by 10 pounds which is a huge well well one of the biggest misses like he wasn't trying though like that's the difference like he

stopped trying so early that he would he just like filled back up with water and and like is that what i didn't know that. Once he knew that he wasn't going to do it, which was the night before, he was like, yeah, now I'm drinking and eating. So it's doubly shitty. He could have mispriced three pounds and still had the fight. And still felt like shit.

So he'd rather just replenish. If I'm over, I'm over. I'm going to be over and feel good. Give me that. Give me so what the worst part about it was at the press conference when he gets on the scale instead of showing up and being like i'm way over i'm gonna let you know i'm way over we got to talk about this like he like flips him off and like shrugs and like fuck it i came to fight not fight the scale and all this bullshit. Rogan let him have it in the post-fight interview. He's like, yeah, but if you're going to be a champion, if you're going to fight,

if this was for the belt, then it would no longer have been for the belt if you miss weight. You can't do that. And he kind of like doubled back and was like, yeah, I guess you're right. And like, you know, but what you've got is somebody who should be fighting at 185, not 170. but what you've got is somebody who should be fighting at 185 not 170 uh and and like that fight did you did you see um the guy he beat up in two minutes flat uh kevin holland i think did you see his eyes from from i get from from like the double scratch that happened in that two minutes both of his eyes are glowing red and like just scratched all to fuck at some point he's like in the guy's eyes playing

xbox i guess i don't know what happened that so what is he just i hate him so much i've always hated him i don't like because he's ugly if i'm being honest i don't like him because he just seems like a piece of shit he's a birth defect yeah that's part of why he's ugly that like fix his lip and he's still fucking ugly as shit yeah look at his eyes wow yeah jesus it you can't really tell how bad the one that's on our right which is his left is because he's looking in that direction but it's just as bad on the other side as the you know the by the way the fight lasted two minutes because it's so so like it happened in that amount of time. It was a clobbering, and Nate Diaz would have been killed. He would have been killed.

Tell me this. Is there anyone you'd rather see Israel Anasai in your fight right now than Chemayev? No. I want to see that fight. I want to see the guy who has no ground game yet somehow never seems to have any ground problems, Israel, against a guy who's all ground game and seems to be able to make it about the ground game every fight. He's more likely to fight Paolo Costa

because they've already got beef. Paolo wants that thing. Of course, Chemaev will not want that because Paolo's a big boy. Paolo's a real 185er. He has a hard time hitting 185. He's a big boy. Paolo's a real 185-er. He has a hard time hitting 185. He's a big man. I got a feeling that Shumayev cannot throw him like a rag doll, like Kevin Holland.

I think that Costa would stand up to that and start fucking throwing some of those clobbering bombs that he throws. It would be interesting. I love Costa for his antics. I like antics in fighting. During the nate diaz um ferguson fight ferguson kicked him like three times shin to shin and ferguson's own shin was

gushing blood if you've ever seen one of those cuts where it's like high pressure blood being sprayed almost vaporizing it's doing that it's running down his and he's still throwing it by the way and every time he throws it it makes a blood splotch. Like one of those girls who thinks she's artistic, who does that blot painting in her fucking... Like every time he's doing that to the opponent with his bloody wounded leg. And he hits Nate for like the third time, solid in the same spot.

And Nate goes, out loud, he goes, Ow! He did what I do when i'm walking to the house through the house too quickly and my pinky toe hangs on a corner like and you're just like fuck like and he stopped fighting stood like a like like a normal human being like not an athletic stance kind of bent over and was just like, ah, fuck! And he starts walking it off. And they're in a fight! Nate Diaz did that? I didn't see this like you did. I walked away

and circling away. The ref is like, I don't remember who it was. I think it was, he's like, come on, work, back in there. Nate goes, nah! Nah! I'm not exaggerating. 10, 12, 15 more steps. Kind shit walking it off and tony's over there spinning shit and and finally after like i'm gonna say he took a 10 second 15 second break

in maybe the third round somewhere in there uh and maybe the second but it was hilarious never seen anything like it. At one point, Ferguson's being very evasive. He's gotten fucked up. He's got four L's in a row coming in here. He's constantly turning his back to Nate. He doesn't want to get knocked the fuck out. You can get knocked out while you're not facing

your opponent. It's weird that it was so effective. He's hiding his chin. Nate's not going to punch him in the back of the head. He won't. He can punch him. He can hook him in the ear. He can, but he won't. He won't. He didn't. You're right.

He's being nice. I think he felt – I think he didn't want to tear him apart because Nate never threw any elbows, and I thought that was weird. It was an embarrassing fight for Tony, and it showed that Nate wasn't the Nate of old. Nate, I think, gets smoked by Conor now. Nate, like, think about, like, what I think of Conor. I don't know what Conor does either.

Conor's big. He's big, but is he better at fighting? Leg is not an impediment to him. As long as Conor can eat leg kicks like he used to be able to and return them as he needs to, if he can continue to check, his boxing has to be so much better than Nate's now. Nate looked old and slow in a way that I don't think Conor is yet. I don't know.

What have we seen from Conor? I've seen him training, dude. I've seen him running. When I see that shit on his Instagram, I see him fucking doing crazy cardio shit. Of course, everything's form-fitting. He looks like Captain America. God, he looks big, dude. He looks like a's form-fitting. He looks like Captain America. God, he looks big, dude. He looks like a real 170-pounder.

Like a weird-shaped one, too, because he's such an odd-framed guy. But his shoulders and his neck have gotten so big, broad, and powerful. I don't know. I agree. We both want to fuck Conor. There's no doubt about that. I just don't know that he's better at fighting.

I do. After that performance, that looked fighting. I do. I don't think you can put a lot of... After that performance, that looked bad. That looked bad. I'm not saying he can't beat Nate. I also agree that Nate didn't look great. I just don't know what Conor has anymore. You know who looked real?

Kamzat Chemaev. I despise the man, but he looked like the next generation of UFC fighter out there. Now, I know it's one's one dimensional but that's what khabib did too he looked like a he looked like a ferocious khabib that want to take wants to take people out instantly and and khabib had mercy khabib wanted the belt hit khabib's thing in my opinion he believes that he's like destined it's like manifest destiny that he is to be champion

and anybody in his way while he's he was beating the shit manifest destiny that he is to be champion. And anybody in his way, while he was beating the shit out of this guy, Michael Johnson, I'm telling everybody, he's beating him mercilessly. They're against the fence. Dana White, the boss, is right there. We're having a three-way conversation right now. As I'm smushing this guy,

this trained fighter that you've put me against, sir, I'm going to talk to you about why that was silly. You see what I'm doing to him? You see this shit? I want your boy. I want the belt. I want the belt. And then he's telling Michael, you must give up.

You must give up. And Michael does this backhanded slap because that's all he can do because he's crumpled up like a rape victim. And so Michael goes, eh! And slaps Khabib in the face. And you see Khabib's face change change from you need to give up, man. Come on. Come on.

To like, oh, it's like that, huh? You see, now let's talk. He's like, you need to give up. You know, I deserve this. You know it. He's using his forearm and and he has this meaty. He's just slamming him. He can hit that.

He's just hit him in like this area over and over and he's like i said the guy's bunched up he's not going anywhere that's all he can do and uh and this new guy though is just eating people for breakfast and being scary it's 9 11 it just turned 9 11 like an hour like 30 minutes ago and he's like, Allahu Akbar! I'm here to kill everybody! I'm like, shit, dude! Wait an hour! Fuck! That was fucking crazy when he did that. I was watching that, and I kind of

believe that he did that in front of an American crowd. When the fight began, he sprinted at the other guy. The other guy goes for a glove touch, and he's like, fuck that shit. He grabs him, throws him to the ground immediately. They wrestle for a glove touch and he's like, fuck that shit. And he grabs him, throws him to the ground immediately. They wrestle for

two minutes and it's over. It was over. He's just a real ferocious, scary guy. But I just really despise him. I don't like him on camera and on the mic. I think he's ugly. I don't like looking at him. I hope someone hurts him, like legitimately injures him. I'd love that. Like one of those

career enders. I want to see this guy get Luke Rockholded. I want to see him fight Israel Adesanya. That's the matchup I really want to see. What are we going to do when he eats Israel? You think he can eat Israel? Yeah. I mean, Yul Romero couldn't take Israel down.

Couldn't do anything with him. Yul's 40 fucking years old. But he looks 19. It doesn't matter. This guy's actually like 23 or something. This guy's a killer. I want to see the fight. I want to see it too. No one has ever taken advantage of Israel on the ground.

I think he's going to clobber Israel. He looks so strong. He looks like a bigger Khabib. And I hate him for it. What I'm looking forward is to Nate Diaz. Hopefully the UFC doesn't shit on him. It's the end of his contract, but the way these UFC contracts work, he can't even discuss doing anything for 30 days.

It might be 90 days where he can't say a word about Logan Paul or Jake Paul or any of that or anything that he wants to do fight promoter-wise, or he's in big trouble because of his contract because the UFC has that time to make their first bid or something, and he can't be out there shopping. And then I think they can wait another year on top of that. So if they want to, they can tie him up legally. And so it's a waiting game.

On the way out, and Nate Diaz is like last minutes on the mic. He's like, oh, yeah, thanks, Dana White. Y'all gave me the platform to do everything I did. UFC, hopefully maybe I come back here, win a belt someday. Did you see Nate Diaz talk about his shoes? Oh, I saw Nate Diaz talk about the shoes. The UFC is this. First of all, I buy these fucking pay-per-views.

I didn't buy this one. I haven't watched it, uh but usually i buy them and you have plunked down like 80 after your subscriptions factored in for each one maybe more and it's full of ads it's like all right now the fucking time clock brought to you by michelob oh and and here's the ring girl's pussy brought to you by toyota and here's joe rogan's head brought to you by geico and like's pussy brought to you by Toyota. And here's Joe Rogan's head brought to you by Geico. And like, everything's brought to you by a different fucking company. And you paid for this shit.

It, it, it's so jammed. They're, they're killing it. And then they've gone through the audacity of partnering with the rock and under armor. And the rock has his own shoe.

Now it's, you can look it up, see what you think of it, but UFC fighters have to wear it they have to pimp it they don't get a dime montage there's this montage of all these fighters yeah it's aerodynamic and advanced oh when i'm wearing my rock shoes i'm ready to whoop some ass or what you know they're paying these guys are just doing what they're told and then they get the nate ds and this footage is like from his instagram because cut it. And he's like, look at these fucking

shoes! These fucking ugly ass shoes! They made me wear them! Ugly ass shoes! They fucking suck. That's funny as fuck. Good for him. Now you can trust his future reviews. What was the gigantic WWE guy?

Brock Lesnar. I think Budweiser was a sponsor of the UFC or Bud Light, whichever way you want to look at it at that time. But they wouldn't pay Brock Lesnar in particular. And so in his huge fight, he just won the belt, heavyweight championship. And he's like, I'm going to go home, drink me a Coors Light. That's Coors Light. Because Budweiser don't want to pay me nothing hell i might even get on top of my wife and it was like damn y'all probably should have paid brock

because if rock lesnar drinks coors light i think i might need one too i could be cool like Brock with the Coors Light. I kind of look forward to it. Anderson Silva's fighting Jake Paul, I think. If I have it right. That'll be neat. Look, I'm not going to bet against them until...

I'm just going to stop betting against the Paul brothers. You can't beat a YouTuber. Has a YouTuber ever lost a professional fight? To another YouTuber. To another YouTuber, yeah. It's like Jedi or something. Is Anderson Silva

fit now? He looked like he always did. He's been doing professional boxing and winning. Oh, he has? Yes. I watched him ko some guy um wearing some white gloves maybe a while back i don't know that's stuck in my head i think professional boxing the way i remember it but it was a highlight i saw on reddit no he looks good um jake is very big like like this is uh this throws you off right here like

to look at this Jake looks like his little brother or some shit I don't know why they even agree who got final copy on this because Jake is bigger and taller Jake's head is just bigger you know you ever see a dog's head and you're like holy shit

that's what Jake Paul's head is like have you met Jake Paul I know you've met Logan I have have not met jake but i know logan's the bigger one i think yeah yeah i think he's bigger too logan's got a big fucking head look at that jake i don't feel like all right i was wrong either all right and when i saw them next to each other it didn't look like this i'll say that it didn't like i feel like if their heads were level their heights would be more maybe i feel like anderson silver's better at being taller did you see it too if they look straight ahead yeah i don't know well why did i fall again tyron woodley because i think that's what i i watched the whole video today called why everyone hates tyron woodley. It was 48 minutes long. 48 minutes. I watched every second of it and I was like, yep.

Yep. Yep. Piece of shit. Oh God, I hate that guy. What's wrong with him? Scumbag. It's much like Missouri Native. He's my guy. It takes 48 minutes to explain what a piece of shit he is. I didn't like his victim

complex. that was my biggest race baiting was big part of the video yeah it's gone bad no i think that uh i i man it's hard to bet against anderson silva though yes but that's what i thought about ben askren and that's what i thought about tyrone woodley and then that's what my dumb ass thought about tyrone woodley again i'm gonna say jake paul knocks him out i'm gonna say jake paul knocks him out because um maybe maybe he gets knocked out the same way when he was styling that time against What's-His-Name

and got fucking caught. Anderson did. You're thinking of Chris Weidman? The thing is, it's really hard to knock out Anderson Silva. Chris Weidman can do it. Jake Paul can do it. He's stronger. Jake Paul's a fucking scary bitch. What's Weidman that I'm fighting at? I don't know. Maybe 205?

Chael Sonnen was the arbiter of their press conference. That was the best part of it. Chael said this thing years ago. They were opponents, him and Anderson Silva. He said, I'm going to go down there

to Brazil. I'm going to walk into that little hut Anderson Silva lives in. I'm going go down there to brazil i'm gonna walk into that little hut anderson still lives in i'm gonna go up to his wife and i'll pat her on the ass and i'm gonna say i'll be in here honey bring me my steak just how i like it medium rare and uh so now here they are many years later and he has that in his memory and he's like and anderson's anderson's like why did you never come to my house when i invited you to the barbecue? He's like, I'll be honest. I didn't think it was a real invite.

I thought that you hated me. And I thought, especially your wife, you know, those things I said. And it was such a genuine chale on stage being like, I'll be honest. I thought maybe you're going to like fuck me up over there. There was one. He's like your house here in Brazil. He's like, oh, no, no, no. Here in America, they'd kill you in Brazil.

They'd hate you in Brazil. He said the most diabolical shit about the country of Brazil back in the day. What did he say? Oh, I don't know. Stuff like they don't know how to read and they're illiterate. He would talk about how these Brazilians came and they thought a bus was a horse and they tried to feed a carrot. He would say American kids are learning computers and technology and they're launching rockets and the Brazilian children are playing in the mud.

And then when they're like, how could you say that? He's like, in my defense, listen, I had no idea Brazil had the internet. Just mean shit. And shit and and but but he would sell a fight right like he was never the best he was well he wasn't even well-rounded really but he would talk some diabolical shit and he would rhyme like muhammad ali uh used to a little bit you know mom muhammad ali got that

whole thing from the rhyming and i'm the greatest the greatest, I'm the best. That's Gorgeous George. Gorgeous George was a professional wrestler. Zach, will you pull up a picture of Gorgeous George? He's not gorgeous. Oh, he's a good looking fella. Isn't that guy in Snatch? There might be a character

called Gorgeous George in that movie. There is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is. But this is the old-timey wrestler. Long blonde hair, capes, boas, shit like that. Anyway, that's where all that bad came from. I have a PKA Patreon question. I'm going to ask Kyle as a subject matter expert. Oh, no.

Check out the Patreon, everyone. Link below. Is Helen Keller immune to flashbangs? Is Helen Keller immune to flashbangs? She's immune to the flash and the auditory part of it. That's kind of the bulk of it. And it can find space. There can be some pressure wave stuff that's weird.

And maybe if her mouth was closed and it was too close to her like her mouth was never fucking closed oh that's a good point um you know if you're ever in a you know a terrorist bombing or something are you still open your mouth cover your ears close your eyes i remember you not being convinced by my my yeah i think you still you're a truther still like you truly think she wasn't retarded here's the part that sells it to me the most that that makes me kind of agree with you and and like i'm kind of on the on the edge it was that she became so political if if she learned to speak and then like just wanted to like like tell me what blue tastes like and they're like oh let's go back to the drawing boards i don't think she's quite got

this one yet we'll get the concepts of colors and flavors down you know we're working on it you know we'll jam some blueberries in her mouth though and that blew her mind i can't get that one straight. But instead, she's like long-winded, eloquently- Like an out-and-out communist who shared all her views, just happenstance, with the woman who claimed to interpret for her. So that part, that is what makes it so interesting to me. And so likely that, as you say, she was a mouthpiece, willing or not. Maybe, here's what you should have said, that she just liked being tickled,

and that's why she was there. Like, she is tickling her hand, that is all it is. It's just been a little goofy. That could have sold me. So, yeah, I'm closer to your side now than I once was just because of the the how political she was what do you may i ask what you're doing i see a tool oh okay i thought it was a wrench of some like a fancy wrench

having i was like what kind of intricate work are you doing fixing part of his bike time is money and she was like she was like one of those uh one of those people that got like locked up when they're a kid and then just like masturbates on doorknobs and shit like that. Except, yeah. And then they just rolled her around and spewed shit and said she was saying it. Is that your kind of where you stand on it? Yes.

Yes. I mean, it's a little crude, but yeah, she was, she was a retard. It's 100% verified, confirmed, multiple videos of me proving it, that she was not fucking reading. That shit does not fly. My whole point, like you can go back and watch the highlight video on YouTube, but multiple teachers tried to get her to talk before that. Very qualified teachers couldn't do it.

Then the teacher comes along, hardened out and out communist. This communication style they develop is singular between the two of them can't be explained outside of that really it's like it's it's silly it's like it's one of those things that i could read and like learn how to talk death oh she like made up whole cloth lies the whole thing made up like there's none of these people around in 2022 why because we have phones i can record the bull like i said i i'm close i'm close to being sold on it uh much at first i thought it was a joke um and i know we we share that with another you were you were like at first i thought come on kyle the holocaust happened but but then like i i got you on board eventually and then once i took you to the meetings once we started showing up to the

meetings and you could talk to the doctor in in person i i think that that everybody's not a doctor he's a wizard all right you want to disparage the man he's a fucking professional he is a doctor and that's how he likes to be referred to. Like, like, like we all, like, we'll start naming all the man's titles. We would,

we don't call you a dance champion. Like, like, yeah, you are one, but I don't leave with that. Jesus. Leave his wizardry alone.

That's a, that's a, that's a different, it's more of a hobby. David Duke. That's a hobby. Nice guy. Yeah.

Just wizards on the side. I have a question. Uh, same thing. The patreon question for taylor why you taking shit on rings of power when you haven't seen a single episode yes i pronounced all that right it's spelled like damn couldn't take the time to like say talking shit on it nope as he missed missed the many times I've addressed this? I've said from the beginning, before the show even came out, the second I found out the Silmarillion and the real true Tolkien-esque lore

was not going to be involved, I lost interest. I was like, I'm not interested in this. I don't really care what the Amazon writers are doing in the Lego world of their characters in Middle-earth. I would want to see a true true to true to lore one. So not interested, not going to watch it. Gave the game of Thrones show a shot.

Very meh, very fine. Fine is how I would describe the game of Thrones show. It sure is TV. Fine. It sure is TV. I want to see that like in the rotten tomatoes. it sure is tv now this my friends is television and that's your review yeah it's not good it's just kind of the magic's not there and you you can you can sit there and try to put the magic back in it but

i don't know maybe it was a different time in my life maybe i mean the game of thrones initially the show like exploded on the scene so much because it was mind-blowing like there was like you got excited for it there was a magic to it and it's just not there with the new series yeah i'm giving i'm giving lord of the rings a uh a try and i've enjoyed it so far but it is like it's not yeah none of it is not talking there's there's law that it's like sort of based on i don't know there's so many people whinging about it they're like oh there's not this and this and this and it's like none of the books wrote about this time period and they're just sort of leading off the edge of like like the end of a lot of stuff that happened in the and then just like like filling in a gap with their own story

and i'm like yeah look i'm gonna watch it i'm not gonna be like wow tolkien did a did a great job of this but at the same time like tolkien was not the best author like he's a great world builder but his actual storytelling sucked balls so it's like if they can get a good storyteller using the world that he created then i'm fine with that and i'm like i'll just take it and make the fucking show why has nobody said that instead of like like like you guys all forgot about the hobbit that's true that was awful and he yeah but they they fucked that though because they had someone else either no they had someone else directing that and then they had heaps of trouble i think it was like uh they wanted guillermo de toro to uh to direct it and then they fucking blew budget on some other

cunt and then uh then they brought in peter jackson to save it and he's like i'll do my best but this is gonna suck yeah what else has peter jackson done that that's really good king uh he did um district nine right no yeah district nine that's uh that's that blonde camp guy neil blonde camp they shall not grow old i feel like i've seen that but i can't remember it that was like his first video wasn't it oh that was the one where um they took the old footage of world war one and made a movie out of it i saw that it was bad. But it was also really it's not indicative of his talent. You're having scrap footage.

I'm just not interested. I'm not drawn to it. You know what? I'm way behind the ball but I finally finished The Boys last night. I watched the last two episodes. I hadn't done that yet for whatever reason. I think I just didn't want it to be over. And I was worried that some characters might die. did i do that with shows sometimes i'm like i'm not ready

to be done with this season hold on to it a little longer but i watched both episodes last night they were tremendous and uh spoilers uh for the boys season three uh finale um that was so hilarious they they basically fully shift and they make it clear that the main villain of the show, Taylor, is a Donald Trump stand in. And he's amongst his like red hat hat wearing, like most devoted people. And he has a tender moment. He's like, this is my son. And he's introducing his son to the world. You know, cameras everywhere and like a blue shirt wearing like lefty fucking scream

something and throws like i don't know a beer bottle hits the kid now the kid has superpowers so like you couldn't hurt this kid with a shot rude yeah but the kid reacted out of fears ah and the dad is like holy shit you just hit my kid with a bottle? And he lasers the top of his head off in front of everyone. And you see he's having this moment. He's like, this is his biggest fear. Because he'd had these thoughts in his head before of going crazy and just nuking the people who offend him. But he wants to be loved. And he's like, I've done it.

And someone goes, yeah! And everybody goes, fuck yeah! Laser that piece of shit! They've made a meme of it now, but it's him going, yeah! Yeah, I did laser that piece of shit. You guys are cool with it? I had no idea that I could outright laser motherfuckers. And you got, it was like what donald

trump well he's gonna have to be carrying his son around absorbing a lot of blows to get the oh my god this super villain just shot my son they were just down with like a public killing though like like it's what he is what he found out and like yeah he's like i could have been lasering people all this time you know i've been trying to pretend that i'm a superman with a heart of gold he's got another tool it was it was a great episode like like he's such a piece of shit he goes and kills one of this guy in the other room he kills him with his bare hands other superheroes and then he comes back in the room with that guy's like cowl or whatever i don't know his helmet and he sits it down there all Everybody looks at it. They know that guy's dead

now. And then he attacks one of the people sitting there for killing a fellow superhero. He's like, you piece of shit. You killed a fellow superhero. And that guy literally looks down at the helmet of his dead teammate and just looks back up and knows

better than to say a goddamn thing. Because it's fake he would love for you to bring up the helmet of his of your dead teammate because he'd love to add your fucking gills to it or whatever he's a uh fucking head off too he's so he's a fucking great actor he's the best he's australian right he's not acting he's not acting he reminds me of Joffrey. Everyone fucking hated Joffrey and literally hated the real life. Joffrey wasn't going around being a piece of shit in the real world. This guy's like the real

deal. That's why I like him. He's Australian, right? Or Kiwi? Which is it? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I fucking love him though. Just the looks on his face and shit. He just looks fully fucking deranged. He's a meme of a man.

I saw a thing the other day and it was like his 12 facial expressions all playing simultaneously in a gif. Very cool stuff. I love his facial expressions. He's great. He's like Jim Halpert, but he melts people's faces off for fun. And he outright, like by the way, Taylor, that son of his is a rape baby that's his rape baby yeah

he raped a woman and had that kid oh the kid knows everyone knows the father of the husband of the man the husband of the woman he raped to make the baby is also a main character he's upset about it is also a main character he's upset

about it is he a lower cast like he's like a lower tier he's not a superhero at all he's just a guy so but but it's his goal in life to kill this superhero so he's going through anything and everything to like what or how do you kill how do you kill homelander like you stab him in the eye something uh they stabbed him in the ear the other day that it goes so well he's like superman so but there's no kryptonite in this world. Like decapitation. He hit him with a nuclear weapon and he would just be like,

that hurts so much, I'm going to kill you good. They found that other guy that can neutralize these powers. Spoilers, but he handled that pretty well too. Okay. I know I can tell what happened now but damn it the show i wasn't gonna watch i mean it's a great fucking show uh i i really enjoy it um i

i don't usually like when things are politicized like the creator doesn't have to come out and be like yeah it's donald trump you see what i did but uh but i don't care if it's donald trump or not a little ham-handed it's it's like okay in your world donald trump is an omnipotent being who does whatever the fuck he wants and like rape like gets laid and has a son now and is happy like that lasers all right i think donald trump's down with this you can get him in here to voice some if you want i would watch donald trump would love that. 20 minutes. If Donald Trump got approached and someone said, you are Homelander, he'd be like, that's amazing.

I love it. That's wonderful. Wonderful. Yeah. He would assume that was the biggest compliment. If he was smart, he would. He'd be like, say what you want about that Homelander. Yeah, he gets his hands dirty. But who was the guy who saved the day at the end?

The truth is, it was the woman. So it's a perfect lie for him to tell yeah i didn't watch the show but he looks like a great guy looks like a great guy there's a lot of people on either side no i like it a lot that show um the expanse and For All Mankind have been my three knocking it out of the park shows recently. My next show is Succession. I think that's, yeah. Everybody just raves about that, so I got to start it, I guess. I'm sure it's good. Have you gotten through any more Nathan for you? I'll be honest, man.

That's not my style. I can't. He's too, he's weird. He's just too weird i it doesn't make me laugh it makes me chuckle with like haha that's that's a good one like i'm like these are smart jokes but they don't tickle me like i'm not laughing i'm just kind of sitting oh how droll sir well i think it's it gets me like out loud laughing almost every episode. Like when, when he does the, the, the claw fucking hilarious, you know,

trying to not become a sexual predator. It's great. Nathan, for you highly recommend. I'm just, I'm sad. You don't like it that much. I always feel like that's such a good,

like ringer show to recommend to people. Cause it makes me laugh so hard. I can't do it. I don't know. I don't feel like his face either. His face is funny. So his whole thing is he it's a, he's an American or he's a Canadian guy. But, you know, it's like an HBO show and he'll go and help struggling businesses to improve their business.

But it's all like a joke, bad ideas, like stupid ideas that he like put pours huge amounts of money into. I don't want to go too far into it. I said that the one would like the one dollar tvs maybe i haven't seen that one if so but like he did yeah shit flavored ice cream yeah a couple funny things but dumb starbucks was the big one that was like got the most attention and then so everything he did after that is kind of derivative of that in one way or another. Yeah. Well, I mean, that is the show. That was the bit before.

But I think it's funny. Do you not watch any like you don't the only show you like rewatch comedy I feel like is The Office regularly, right? I watch it. Yeah. I've made The Office. I've seen The Office. I'll just finish rewatching it again. I haven't watched it in um i'll pay the office i'll just finish re-watching it again i haven't watched it in a number of times i think i would do fairly well to trivia uh contest but but when you if you look at what actual office trivia is it's a little bit like scrabble where

you need to memorize like a bunch of those silly one letter and two letter words before you start because i can't remember jim's brother's names but i need to get that one down it's like like who the fuck does yeah i didn't know he had brothers yeah he's got two um but uh but you know there's i think i would do fairly well like the abcs of that of that show as far as the trivia goes because i've seen it a tremendous amount of times that was the that was the reason i got netflix on dvd like the dvd deliveries that's how i watched the the early episode or the earliest seasons of that show it was like three discs at a time which doesn't cover a season by the way so goddamn annoying you're like all right

i'm three quarters of the way through season three mail these bitches back my wife and i have the office on repeat and then seinfeld uh so we pretty much just watch all of the office and then watch all of seinfeld and we had a uh like a seinfeld trivia night uh a while back and uh my my wife and i just utterly fucking destroyed everyone we didn't get a single question wrong would you ask taylor and i a question like i don't want to make a whole game of it but but like that'd be kind of fun because we both love this yeah we love seinfeld but it seems like love seinfeld uh yeah it was like um it wasn't super hard but it was just like uh like what does uh what is like jerry's dad sale what did jerry's dad sell and uh coats raincoats men's raincoats yeah yeah and it was

like it wasn't it wasn't super hard well it wasn't hard for us what did it was here's one for taylor what did he call the raincoat that what i'll make it easier you don't have to remember the name of the the the special raincoat he invented although i know it you have to know what was different about Jerry's father's raincoats? Fuck. Didn't it have something on? It was a very inconvenient feature that wasn't very helpful. He got rid of that belt.

He didn't need that anymore. And I think he called it the executive, but I'm probably wrong about that last part. But it was the beltless trench coat. Now, I've watched a tremendous amount of time, and I do like paying attention to the minutiae, but I don't know what Kramer's mom's job was. I think someone called her a prostitute,

but I don't remember what Babs, that's her name, what her actual occupation was. Little things like that, I know I've got holes like that in my game, but I know the ABCs of every episode, everything that happened. I know about the fucking candy bar lineup. The plot of an episode, I know about the fucking candy bar lineup. The plot of an episode. I know all of them. I've got some trivia questions, boys.

On Seinfeld, what did Elaine buy for Adam Lipman's bar mitzvah? Bar mitzvah. What did Elaine buy for Adam Lipman's bar mitzvah? It was something that made him think that she was

into him. I remember that because he was like... This is the Sheik's episode. That wasn't the re-gifted label maker, was it? No, no, no. This is a young man. Fuck, was it alcohol? It was boggle. Boggle. What video game is George a master of frog rogger you're right

okay i'm trying to plug the gaps for me why did elaine break up with baseball player keith hernandez uh he picked his nose smoking he's a smoker Oh smoking, shit, you're right What did Kramer name his rooster? Oh Pep, is it Pep? Oh Little Jerry Little Jerry Seinfeld

And Carl was a smashed house But this season we were just playing against Shit cuts that had no idea. Just playing against ourselves. Yeah, we were just playing against people that had no idea. What is the name George would call himself if he became a porn star?

Oh, um... Yes! Yes! This is more fun than I thought. What is the name of the video store the seinfeld gang rents movies from oh i don't know that one shit you want it flush do you know um oh that's the one with the uh the gene pics yeah it's not it's not like the it's not like the video barn is it it's champagne video by way, I am cherry picking the hardest ones.

Here's another. In what city does Seinfeld take place? What? Chicago! Chicago! I mean, that's the level of questions we were getting. How about this? What borough does George's parents live in?

Queens. There you go all right now i'm gonna have to watch this and then take notes of the minutiae okay i've got a another patreon question while we're doing them thank you sir if you could build your own palace castle giant mansion etc what would be the room to have in your opinion the the most over-the-top gym full of like like those expensive heavy super nice like nautilus machines style machines yes exactly like what juji has like high quality cool i also i love using machines i like i'll tell you why move like if if i had now we're going baller baller baller right if i have a movie theater that is so fucking awesome that me and my 24 closest friends could all enjoy a film i don't think i actually like it more dude a bed

with a screen is fine for me i don't actually have 24 friends to watch movies with you know that doesn't get me anywhere i have a pool table room i want a garage that's like has storage not like not like a one that's like like you're rich so neat it has every tool and they're all stored properly like $10,000 yeah that is that is nice. The garage was like perfect. Like the greatest garage. So I have some nice rooms in my house and I find that it doesn't really add much. But I feel like if the gym was better, it would be better.

You know, I don't need a bigger living room. I always, as a kid anyway, heard Bill Gates had a trampoline room where when you went in, it was just trampoline wall to wall. That's so weird. I heard the same little kid rumor as well. Because in your head, when you're like six, that's the peak of luxury. I remember thinking it was dumb because maybe I'm the only one.

I think some kids are dumb always. I stopped being retarded when I was like seven. Cause I remember my dad, one time we were on a steep hill and he was like, see if you can run down there, like kidding around. And I just like, he says to do it.

And I like ran down, like tumbled down the steep ass hill. Like at some point I learned like not to do that. Oh God damn it. I have a quote on this. I fact checked it. Gates replied. I have a nice house

it includes a trampoline room which seems kind of over the top but my kids love using it to work off their excess energy i'm not sure how guilty i should feel about being in a great house have you ever seen that uh video but i'm asking bill gates like the price of like coming on it's like how much is a gallon of milk and stuff he's fucking hilarious he's like yeah what do you think a loaf of bread costs and this is like 2005 or whatever and he's like 850 and it's like like goddamn dude like he doesn't like why would you know what anything costs yeah like he hasn't walked in a regular store in how long you got people for all that taylor and i came up with Jim. Slush Puffy, I love your idea of a garage with great storage.

Kyle, what room would you do up big? I mean, theater is kind of cliche, right? Ideally, you would have your own legitimate IMAX theater with a 70mm film projector as well as

whatever the up-to-date 8k whatever the fuck imax shit is i don't even know um you'd have both with like i don't need seating for 100 or even 20 i don't care if it's just one fucking throne that i sit on but that would be kind of nice but that's that that's pretty i was thinking like it's not my thing. That also wouldn't be that expensive. When you go to water parks and they have that wave pool, they have that thing that blasts the water at you and you can get on the board and have

energy boarding or whatever. That would be pretty sick to have at your house. I know that guy out in Texas who does have a quarter billion dollars. I've seen what someone like he has guys around him who are like know what you can buy with money they're like hey man i'll tell you what like it's your money but you can get tanks he's like what do you mean get tanks and so now he's got tanks you know you can get artillery pieces if you want and he's got artillery

pieces you know you'd have any machine gun night vision. So now he's got all that. Like they just get him the licenses. They buy it all. So now like you go to his place and it's like, it's like a dream land for like sportsmen and like gun people. Like he's got. Neverland for adults. It's yeah.

Well, well, I don't. I was thinking of the Michael. What was the Michael Jackson one? What was that? Neverland. Yeah. I don't want to draw that. Except you can take your kids there.

And I went, not that get addicted to hard drugs. You can go there and sleep in the bed. And he's got a lake there with, with like jet skis and, and he made the lake. Right. So it's like really nice.

And, but it's, it's got all of these inflatable, um, buoys out there to like use as a, for your jet jet ski races. And he's got all sorts of like ramps out there so that when they're skiing, they can like jump off of ramps.

And it's crazy. Like anything you can imagine, that's like a toy that forget cost, you know, and he's got it. It's it's it, but, but I don't know.

I think one of the, something like that, I don't see anybody having that, like, like that, that thing they have at water parks that lets you like surf forever i don't even i've never tried that but i'd want one in my house it's like i'd love to do it when no one could watch i've never i've never been like oh yeah let me go up there with zero real world experience and do like the

simulating version that'll pan out well and you're in line and so everybody in lines watching you make an absolute asshole of yourself falling and if you fall poorly like that's sometimes your leg their legs come out from under them and they get end over end so quickly that you can actually eat shit usually you can get your hands up but this like topples you over sometimes i've seen women in particular go down in such a way that they just like eat shit. Just face to fucking ground. It's like, uh,

cause it's endless surfing. It's also endless falling as well. They're like, like continuously for like a minute. My favorite internet videos now are old people falling down escalators or old people being confused by escalators. Like it's their first ride on one and so they like time you know how if you hold on to like the side railing for like and like don't let go it'll like get out of whack and we'll start pulling they get they hold

on and they don't let go and it starts dragging them and then they let go and now they're lying down sometimes upside down going up an escalator and they tumble and they keep tumbling until they get to the bottom but it keeps picking them up and tumbling them again so this this like old person is just fall is just rolling and being rolled at the bottom this literally happened to me two weekends ago i i went to dreamhack in melbourne and we went to this place called fortress and it was like it's this massive like uh gaming bar place in melbourne and it has like fucking heaps of stairs so we're going down into the bar and i am fucked like i'm so drunk i don't even understand english anymore and so i don't remember this at all but uh i'm walking behind pestily and uh i come to like

go down this escalator and i i end up falling down the escalator and i end up like like this motherfucker on screen right here getting turned over like a turtle and i'm like fucking spinning on the bottom like on my back just getting like it fucking tumbled over and over again there's at least two i don't remember three old people tangled together at the bottom yeah being like tumbled into one another you ever you ever have one of those rock tumblers when you're a kid you load it no that's what it does to those old people yeah we tried you were cool you didn't have a rock tumbler hell no i wasn't i wasn't that lame i got it for christmas when i was six i and i i went down to the creek and i got all of the already partially polished quartz that i could find in the creek bed and then i polished

them for weeks and it makes them kind of translucent and beautiful it was really fun and then and then like a family member stole them from me. They stole rocks from you? He stole the almonds. I don't want to say which one, but I always had nice stuff. When I was five, I got the fucking Play-Doh factory. I didn't get a jar of Play-Doh. I didn't get 10 jars of Play-Doh.

I got the Play-Doh factory, motherfucker. This thing is a case of shit. You have so many jars of Play-Doh that you'll be...'re like ah it's like when you get the crazy box of crayons with 168 colors that's how much play-doh i got and you've got the factory i can squeeze this shit out in all kinds of crazy it was expensive it was it was like a 1990 toy it was probably a 50 toy or something like that. We move. My family does. And so all of our things that aren't like going into the place we're staying temporarily while the new house is built, go into storage.

They got into my Play-Doh factory, left all the jars open and they all solidified. And then like the Play-Doh was the colors were mixed together. So like you open brown up and there's fucking yellow in there and stuff. You open the green up and it's all mushed up and they've made a rainbow. They're all brown now. It was despicable. I never forgot. That's my favorite part of The Hobbit is the very beginning.

It was like, and he never forgave and he never forgot. There's so many times when some shit will happen to me and I'll be like, not forgetting that one was that one of those setups thinking about play like was that one of the setups where it even came with like a little toy truck that you could like pull the lever and like pretend you were shipping a star-shaped tube of play-doh. I'm going to be honest. I don't remember exactly,

but I remember that a lot of my toys got... I had some nice toys. I had the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe full set, all the action figures with Castle Greyskull. It was a lot more than this. It was a big fucking case of stuff because I remember the box that it came in was big. That was good you were

five though you probably i was five like you thought it was a legitimate actual factory do this these tubes were the size of my four is that is that we please please show me the he-man and the master the he-man sword from like 1990 91 like like my brother had one of those this is my favorite toy of my childhood right here my older brother had one of those this is my favorite toy of my childhood right here my older brother had one of those and i uh i remember he he like was fucking around and just like beating me and my twin brother with it and so one day he went to school and obviously we weren't in school yet we threw it over the back fence like fuck you go to hell yeah and there was a school over the back fence,

so anything you throw over there just gets immediately stolen. Oh, yeah. Some kid had a great day. Yeah, yeah. He picked up an awesome sword. We did it to his skateboard as well. We're like, fuck you, threw his skateboard over the back fence. He took some beans for that problem.

T-Man is this weird kind of product. I call it a product because they made the toys before they made the show. Yeah. And so, so they made these toys Mattel did, I think. And then the, and then they had this,

the, the, the cartoon made after the, and they're like, here are the toys. You, you make the cartoon now. And they did that.

And then Dolph Lundgren makes the movie in like 86, roughly he man, and the masters of the universe, which like butchers the whole story makes it fucking weird it's an awful movie but it's one that i it existed at my home for whatever reason and little me watched that movie over and over dolph lundgren skeletor the whole bit and i wanted that sword i don't even know if it was still big back then but it must have been big enough that the swords existed at the store because i had one i loved it what were your guys go to like if you were dressing up playing pretend as a kid

always that i didn't do that you didn't dress or i guess you didn't have a brother anyone to be like messing around like playing i would take here's what i would do that's similar to what you're talking about i would take all of my video game systems and like electronics of any kind that were mine i would sit on the bed and i would like surround myself with them like a control panel and i'd pretend like it was a spaceship or something and that those were all buttons and knobs and levers so like there was like a sega system and like uh my dad would like give me like these um the big batteries like like the ones that are like the size of a juice can i don't know what those are and like wiring and like little electric motors and light bulbs and stuff and i would like play with that shit so i'd be like i'd like fucking hook up the

little light bulb get it turned on fucking plug in the sega genesis cartridge like put put the pistol the nintendo blaster my waistband and you know i'd start turning all the knobs get my game genie plugged into and you know i'd go to space or wherever i was imagining i was going that sounds like fun just imagining yourself a whole childhood we always ended up just like building ridiculous shit like we'd uh we'd be like let's build like a billy cart and then it'd be like all right let's see how far we can push this billy cart to its limits taking it down like steeper and more treacherous bullshit until one of us gets hurt and then there was a lot of outside time we break the billy cart and then we just like next day to be like okay let's build another one yeah we we would have like big ideas for like what we were going to do like we always

went in the woods after school when we were kids and played. It always devolved into building forts and trying to build a cool one, a good fort. None of them were good. They were all garbage, but it was so much fun. That was all we did, just played in the woods. I would do little projects.

We would put rope swings in. There was a couple of big trees on the property. One of them was over a creek, so we'd put rope swings in there was a couple of big trees on the property one of them was over a creek so we would put rope swings in and uh like we would dam the creek up we had a couple of creeks yeah we did yeah we did that that was awesome and and i was like super into it um getting these big rocks and like putting sticks in vertically and then sticks horizontally and then stacking the mud in. I was legitimately damming the creek up pretty good. It was fun. That brings back so many memories.

There's a lot of clay here. It kind of smells bad even. It looks blue. We would make stuff out of clay and then forge it. Not forge. Whatever it's called. Kiln it. I don't know. I to like make clay pottery most of the summers were spent doing stupid shit like that in the creek but we always had golf carts and four wheelers and that was what kids like rode

around the farm yeah we would we would beat the shit out of those golf carts and the four wheelers for that matter but the golf we always have motorbikes uh we were talking about this the other day because my granddad like built boats and he'd always like in his spare time would build like little dinghies and stuff and uh just have them at our shack and so we'd have like a dinghy and then like a little outboard motor on it and then our motorbikes and we'd we'd end up just like ride to the boat take the boat out or put the motorbikes on the boat and then just try and find a weird place to go to and so you'd like go out and find like a tiny little fucking weird island and then ride the motorbikes around on it and it's like has anyone actually ever been here before there's no houses or anything on it no one owns it you just try and

like find random shit and just sounds like fun we mostly stayed like on the farm there because a lot of the stuff we were doing would have got you know we'd blow stuff up sometimes like we'd make little i wouldn't call them bombs but we were making firecrackers like like when i think of a bomb i think of like fucking alarm clock stuck to some sticks of dynamite or something but we were making big firecrackers and uh and we just set those off back there or, you know, lots of shooting, obviously, you know, all the time. And it wouldn't we would just walk around and shoot things. But I see people most people learn in a target range and they never do any like what's fun is when you just walk around and wander with a gun. And anytime you see something that needs to be shot, you just shoot it.

Like it's not like look at that rock there. It needs a good shooting and you're like i bet i could hit it i bet i can hit that rock and then make it ricochet into that other one watch this and like they just walk that was we always had the did you always have the ruger 1020 toes we always never had one um how fucking amazing i had uh a Remington Speedmaster. It's a semi-automatic.22. I had a lever action, maybe a Marlin or something. It was heavy. And when you had the hammer in the back and a scope on it. And then I got a cheap little pump action.22 one year. And I would use those three for like different styles of shooting so I could with the Ruger with the Speedmaster I would throw things in the air and shoot it with the because I took all the sights off so it was just a round barrel so we would just shoot gravel out of the air with that at close range with the 22 but then lots of like speed shooting with the pump action that's really fun to do like little targets and then I hunted a lot with the um the uh the Marlin like the the lever

action I shot a buzzard out of the air flying one time with that thing. In Minecraft, because I think those are probably protected in the real world. So you gotta go to Minecraft. That's where buzzards aren't protected by anything. Definitely didn't one-tap that bitch and have it

fold up and hit the ground like a missile. I think you just inadvertently just opened a cold case file um yeah yeah it would uh i i saw a guy we were we were hunting doves and a guy shot a hawk by accident and like that's a big deal it's it how they don't look the same he didn't not only does that look the same but like it's a crime and and everybody's like get it fucking hide it dude before the game warden comes and sees what you've done and he's like i didn't do it and it's like we all saw you do it there's six witnesses out here that watched you blow that hawk away and like one guy steps up and he's like y'all bunch of pussies gonna argue about it give me

this motherfucker and he like grabs this it's very dead already and then hides it like throws in the woods or buries it you know it gets it out of the area the game warden shows up 10 minutes later at the most and starts going person to person seeing if people are drinking and if they had their licenses shit like that but um he was a pretty good game warden i remember that's the only i grew up with this really scary game warden who would stalk us like every day he would check our license he knew where we were and this this is when i was a kid too seriously yeah i remember i remember his name like he was he was crazed the guy that like showed up on the day of the hawk shoot my buddy was drunk and he's like dude you're you're holding a beer

like go up there and sit down he's like you're right you're right when you're right you're right when you're right you're right and he went he went and sat fucking down he was pretty cool about it could have locked him up probably or find the shit out of him or something like that but this other game warden as a kid, like I would, my dad and I would hunt separately. Um, I don't know. I was maybe 13 or something like that.

And he'd be down the road, a thousand yards, 2000 yards away somewhere, but we're completely out of contact. What's the point of a radio? What's going to, and everything's going to hear it. Like it does.

It just, this is before text messaging. And, uh, every time I would cap a deer, this fucking guy would be like somewhere within earshot on like the the the greater property there that we were on and he would drive to me and be like you get one like yeah let's walk down to it and make sure you did it right and then we'll check your license and this and that the other he stalked us for weeks it was so so weird. Did he have nobody else in his territory?

Just you guys? There was a dead... We always used the farm truck when we went hunting, and so there was the crusted up remains of a dead baby chick back there, which is not an uncommon thing to happen on the farm. They die by the thousands. But it had

turned to just a little skeleton with some feathers stuck to it. I remember that game where we're looking in the back of our truck and being like, what's this, a pheasant? And it's like, are you out of your goddamn mind? It's a dead fucking chicken, you asshole.

We're going to run some DNA. God, you're such a piece of shit, dude. Why are you stalking us? Who do you think we are we're deer hunters we are deer hunters at worst we're trying to kill one and hide that we killed it and not mark it right at the time but you've got two bucks a year it was like hawk flower in your in your truck bed apparently that guy was such a piece of shit that i was homeschooled that year so like i hunted every morning and every evening so i'd see this guy i'd see this law enforcement guy like on a weekly

basis at least it was crazy he stalked us so much never did kill the deer there there's like a giant deer that's how deer hunting goes sometimes when like a bunch of people hunt in the similar area they'll be the tail of the big one oh yeah jimmy seen it down there he was on a combine he looked down there big maybe 10 12 points 18 20 inches wide i'm telling you i seen it jimmy seen it and then it's like fuck i've been down here every day for a month and a half and i haven't seen the biggin and then like everybody's calling bullshit and then sure enough this cocksucker who was riding a combine the deers get used to farm equipment they don't even think of it it's

like background noise he's on his combine farming but he keeps his rifle in there with him he sees the deer hops out turns it off and he's the one who kills the big one and it really was it was it was kind of a once in a lifetime kind of deer of deer. Bigger than any deer you've gotten? Yeah, yeah. The biggest deer I've ever killed was like 11 or 12 points, and I think only like 17 inches wide. That's how wide the interior measurement between the antlers are. It's kind of a rough way of telling somebody how big something is.

They have a whole scoring system that's pretty silly where they measure. i think it's how many total inches of antler there is and then there's some sort of uh uh maybe they factor in how symmetrical they are too uh that there are these things these buckarama contests where all these people put money in and the idea is we're gonna see who kills the biggest deer this year and we're not talking about 10 bodies we're talking about 10 000 guys who go to bass pro shop this year and uh they make you do a lie detector test once you turn in your fucking like like did you kill this deer in a lawful and judicious manner during the the act of hunting in the i do so swear you have to because you went in like a boat or a truck or something like that. And in Minecraft, this guy raised a deer for years until it was enormous.

And it was a specimen. And then he got his license. He put his camouflage on. He put his vest on. He got his legal weapon. He climbed a tree right next to the deer pen and he shot that son of a bitch. So they were like, did you kill this deer

during the lawful action of hunting? And God damn right. To your knowledge, that is correct. The only law he broke was like, you're not allowed to own a deer. You can't own a deer it's you know wildlife or whatever but yeah they had this crazy wildlife sanctuary they had those big contests and like the guy who shoots the biggest deer that year is gonna like it's pickup trucks and bass boats

you know it's it's a lot of money involved damn there's a lot of huge bucks these people have killed yeah good that what a great idea from that guy, though. It's a damn shame he didn't get away with it. I think, I know my dad is a, before I was born, I'm told, had a pet skunk that had been de-scented, or whatever they call it. They just remove those glands. And I think they kept it in a pen out back. It was not an inside skunk, I guess i was like what the fuck like i come along we get rid of the cool pets

like i would have loved to have grown up with some kooky pets but but i guess not one of my friends moms has a uh a possum and a cat and they just like roam around together eating all the mice and stuff like a possum yeah well the possums are sort of different down here though they're like uh they look more like raccoons but yeah that that thing just it hangs out like it'll sometimes come inside like you're sitting there by the fire at night and that's and you've got the door open and the cat comes in sometimes the possum will follow it in try and get a little bit of food off you and stuff oh these are i just looked it up these are way cuter than our possums Zach show me an Australian possum

yeah it's a brush tail brush tail possum yeah yeah 5.3 pounds just a little fella I've got massive claws though like if they fight cats they just fuck cats up cats are no joke

yeah they'll beat a cat easy yeah they got they're fucking vicious but when they're nice though they're pretty funny oh that's a much cooler animal dude your possum is so cute our possum looks like a grizzled police vet yeah yeah he's been on too long i shot a possum one time i felt so bad afterwards i didn't know what i was shooting at it was just eyes in the dark yeah it went dead immediately or so you thought it was just laying on me how long's a real savage like if you hit him if you don't hit him in the head with a 22 they'll just walk away they're like like really strong weird jesus it's good i mean i wouldn't have it as a pet i would i bet you would like that Taylor. If you ever did any varmint hunting,

like when you go and shoot coyotes or foxes, because that's like, so the major complaints from hunting can be solved. Like hunting is, is mostly, uh, ambushing. And so you got to wait and wait and wait hours and hours,

hundreds of hours. I've done this thousands, probably just sitting in trees and sitting on stools, doing absolutely nothing and try not to fall asleep. It's very boring. But you can do hunting in ways that are fun. With varmint hunting, you use a collar that plays a tape

of a fox getting its shit pushed in basically. And the fox is like, oh shit, that sounds great. And he runs up and one guy puts a flashlight on him and the other guy shoots between the eyes. Now you've got a fox and you get you get a bunch of those pelts made into cool uh furniture i saw i don't see that would be fun because you want an active kind of hunting like the kind where you have to sit there like yeah if you just have to like i've been

before but every time i do a kind of hunting where i'm sitting still all day i get like even just just burn anything that you can walk in a ride that's the kind of hunting where I'm sitting still all day, I get like, even just, just burn anything that you can do. That's the kind of hunting you want to do. We were in Texas once and I was like, wait a minute, is there anything here? We can't spotlight. And they're like,

absolutely. Just the deer. So everything else. Yeah. So we get on top of the cage that's on the pickup truck and we're just lights on going through the texas wilderness like something there is it a deer nope military hardware so it's just

that's how we got to australia so we we just stand on the back of the truck and just drive around spotlight everything not the deer obviously but all that like kangaroos and rabbits and stuff but yeah it's great the kangaroos like if you're far enough out like if you're in like wilderness like my friend has like a lot of property that's like in the middle of fucking nowhere i don't even know what's happening like you can drive up and like fully it's like a fucking gangland style execution like you could drive up in the driver's seat put a gun out the window almost touching their head and just kill them all right well that's a little jesus christ they are so they run from us no they don't they don't run they kangaroos they don't even hop away

they're just suicidal just they're a lot of they will they will hop away if you get close enough but sometimes they sometimes if you get the light on them they'll just fucking have you ever met a domesticated record um kangaroo oh hell yeah yeah it's easy see like how can you meet one and then shoot them though because when i met one i was immediately like oh shit i could never kill one of you guys y'all have personality and little i had these i had like a bag of mini cows have i'm getting these mini carrots out yeah but hear me out i'm getting these mini carrots i got a whole bag of them and this kangaroo fucking hops up to me kind of looks at me like sticks his head up sniffing at me i'm like yeah buddy i got a whole bag of these and he's like he reaches out palm up and i went you serious and

he's like like a monkey and i handed him the fucking thing and he like snatched away at first and he didn't know about he'd like bounced back a little he didn't know who i was yeah i don't know about you and like after a while he's like right next to me like taking him from me real gently and just eating him and just chilling while i scratch his head it was like a it wasn't a wild kangaroo by any means this is like the local like pet it lives in pretty much do that with some wild ones as well like if you have food i just the way we went camp we went hunting about probably like three four weekends ago and i walked up to one and i i could have if i had if i held out my gun i could have probably poked it in the head with the gun i

didn't actually i didn't shoot that one because i felt so bad for it i was like yeah this one's dumb as fuck yeah they're friends not food at least i i i was like nah it's this one is this one's like right near the shack like right near the lake house it's like this one the kids will probably look at and be like oh look a kangaroo i'm like i feel bad killing this one there's been lots of stories um that i would hear and it was it was almost always like an older lady who would take in a fawn, a baby deer that was motherless and raise it as a pet. And then when they would release them, they always do the same thing. They'll put like a big orange like scarf type thing on the deer and like, you know, try to save his life. Keep somebody from shooting him out there if he's running around.

I wouldn't shoot one that had a scar for sure i'd be like fuck uh he's got accessories i don't know if a scarf would stay on a thing like where you ate it like it wasn't like it was like a deer scarf she had a thing on it it was it was secured hey that's weird. If I saw that, I'd be like, that's someone's pet. Yeah. Yeah, that's strange. You want a question? You got one? What's up, fellas? I just got out of college and landed a pretty nice job. My only problem is I need to gain more in-real-life friends to hang out with.

How would a 22-year-old male go about making friends that are his age in a new area? I have my idea. Taylor, we had a Patreon question. Dude's 22-year-old male out of college, moved to a new area. How does he make friends? What does he enjoy doing? If you go and do what you enjoy doing and make friends doing that. If you enjoy going out and getting enjoy doing and make friends doing that. If you enjoy

going out and getting drunk, go out and get drunk. What do you call this magic the gathering parties you guys have? Friday night magic. Friday night magic if you're cool enough. really like What are the odds that he's that cool? Whoa, it's a high bar. I mean, I wouldn't take any of you three with me.

I have a reputation. But yeah you would have like as an adult like you're just not going to be put in situations anymore where it's like oh you and this group are going to be together you know by the state's volition in a class it's like you have to go to a club to an outing you have to do something centered around an interest whether that's as silly as Magic the Gathering or you're into paintball or you know whatever you're interested in yeah whatever you're interested in

it's different than yours tell me if it's worth a damn Bumble BFF right have you guys heard of this Bumble is a dating app and they've taken that technology and made it a find a friend app and and they've taken that technology and made it a find-a-friend app. And it sounds gay. Anyone that you find on that would be the most annoying chance in the world.

They had that setting on, like, it may have been Bumble I saw it on, but maybe Hinge, too. And it's like, what are you looking for? And it's usually, like, there's a friends tab. And I always thought, like, who the fuck is? I just thought that was so like like like if i was looking for a friend that is not where i would look i just feel like that who is that guy i don't know here's where i heard about it a friend right now brother

south park right with zero friends on facebook it's that guy who's oh that episode makes me so sad yeah you want to hang out with anyone on that yeah i tell you before i was watching a podcast i need i was watching a podcast and uh the dude was a bro he was a wrestler right so he was in an environment where he was like forced to be friends and and if you've ever been in an environment like this where you just suffer and it sucks it's bonding right you know so so he's like man i've been a wrestler all my life now i'm out of school and there just isn't an opportunity for me to make bro friends like i used to like how do adults have that kind of oh this is no he was a collegiate wrestler and um anyway so he went to bumble bff and made new

friends and shit like that that's where i heard about it i was like oh that would work i bet right the same technology that you find girls could let you find yeah guy friends it could i don't know anything about it i just think like initially like just find like whatever hobby you enjoy the most go to some meetup about that. And like, hopefully you'll find someone you vibe with that enjoys the same thing strongly. And like immediately, like you go to those meetups to make friends because like you then have that point of connection. There's that locus point of I like this. You like this.

It doesn't make all the other similarities are a bit ancillary. Like you're you're not like doing a fake friendship until you get close. You do have this one thing to be bound yeah the first question would be what do you want these friends for do you just want and you might say like i just want some people like a network with you know that'd be that's pretty nice to have like they don't have anybody even help me move but like if if your reason was like i really wish i had somebody to ride jet skis where that's i really like doing that fucking go get a jet ski and go to the lake i bet there's some dudes over there riding jet skis like like go hang out with them like get two popular guy in the world that's where my dad was brilliant as a kid when christmas would come around i i remember i i was wanting

that paintball gun so bad when i was 12 or whatever and uh he was he finally was like all right get the paintball gun and the co2 and the paintballs and the hopper. And we're getting all the shit. He's like, wait a minute. Why the fuck would we only get one paintball gun? Get two of everything. And it was like, yeah, you're so smart. Because otherwise I'd have been shooting rocks outside and never wanted to play paintball.

Yeah. Now we can play paintball. I got a friend like that. He's loaded. And he's like, I want to get paintball i got a friend like that he's like loaded and he uh he's like i want to get paintball guns and so instead of buying one he brought 10 and he's like all right guys come and play paintball and we're like well i guess we got it now you've spent thousands of dollars on all the paintballs that's a good friend to have that i mean that's how i made sure that like like paintball was what i kind of did with like friends around that like early teen age.

Like that was what kind of made sure that we were all going somewhere on the same weekend. And what we did, because all of us had like all of our dads had a little bit of property, at least we all built our own paintball fields. And it was kind of a competition, right? Like your dad's going to help, of course. And we're all going to build our own little paintball fields. I had the best paintball field because I had I put it right there where fvs russia shot his videos it's a nice little flat piece of land and it was just like i had square hay bales and i had all sorts of like plywood structures it was great and we'd go to each other's houses and play paintball

and that that's how i had like a little friend group like during those years when I was homeschooled and in and out of school and stuff but as a 22 year old guy it's a weird question right like I don't know I like I don't value like dude friends in real life that like I go out and hang out with too much it's never been a thing that I really value very much like I like you guys

and I've got like tons of like close friends online but like as far as like a dude here that I'm like pal around where like far as a dude here that I'm pal around with, I don't really do that. I'm still close with a bunch of my guy friends from high school that are still in St. Louis. I see those. Well, now that everybody's getting older,

and people are having kids, we don't see each other as much anymore. Yeah, they're passing away. My best friend from high school died this week. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. It's been a rough week for you. I'm going through some shit right now.

He's on the ketamine. He's lost a dear friend, and then he's got the cancer. Goodness, buddy. I hope you love and we just think about you all the time. Thank you. I mentioned this guy a couple times before. He's the one that had cystic fibrosis.

Oh, god damn. And so he, like, as teenagers, the life expectancy for him was like 30. And he's like 50, almost 50. So, you know, he's just really on top of his medicine. Some of you guys are going to remember some of these stories. Like, he played tennis a lot. And with cystic fibrosis, his lungs didn't work like other people's did. So, he just put fucking oxygen tanks in a backpack.

And he played tennis with his oxygen tanks. You know, hauling them around. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, you know, in lieu of gifts or whatever, donate to the United States Tennis Federation or something. It was like a big part of his thing. And he had cancer, which sucks. And then he got COVID on top of that.

He had gotten a double lung transplant, I call it, 10 years ago. So I'm suspecting that the immunosuppression drugs that go along with, um, uh, a lung transplant just made it hard to stay healthy and avoid COVID and all that fun stuff. And, uh, yeah,

he, um, I'm sorry he died this week. So that, that sucks. Well, rest in peace. It sounds like he got a huge amount out of his life

for having cystic fibrosis and something that debilitating. He had a long marriage. He leaves behind twin boys. I follow him. They both got into college recently. It's a good family. Anyway. That's really sad, man.

Wah, wah. Anyway. Yes. It's really sad, man. Anybody got any happy news? Give me a voice or something. Dude, I was watching the Queen's funeral procession. And some dude, some fucking legend, screams at Prince Andrew. You're disgusting!

Andrew! You're disgusting! Andrew! You're disgusting! Because he's a pedophile. You're a disgusting old man, Andrew! The people aren't having it because the queen's dead. Maybe this isn't the time or the place. He's getting a few shoves from the crowd. He gets pushed out of the line. They didn't beat him up or anything.

Nah, it's not a Trump rally. Yeah, not a Trump rally yeah not a trump he was he was insulting the you know pedophile prince andrew the pedophile not the queen no but he prince andrew was walking like right there like he yelled it at him good and i mean i mean charles and i don't understand how this stuff works but Charles announced like yeah yeah when I'm out of town or can't be king he is yeah yeah he's like backup king or something

yeah that shouldn't he be kind of ousted he should have been ousted for sure but but you know the queen was so old she's like there's been so many pedos in the family we're gonna stop at this one. What's one more?

What's one more? He's still, like, denying it. Like, they've never like, never got him to admit it. Yeah. There's no, like, hard, hard evidence. Like, there's no, like, DNA evidence. I mean, it's obvious, but, I mean. All the DNA is on that island. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that guy is definitely a fucking creep. Oh, I wanted to say, I forgot about this. All my friends were asking, hey, what did Larry Lawton say that y'all had to remove from the show? What did he say? And I was like, oh, Larry,

the world-famous jewel thief and famous felon who did 11 years in federal prison, chose to threaten a public figure randomly for some reason with physical violence. Now, I know he's doing it in a joking way, but all of us thought that wasn't too chill. As soon as the show ended, was like you gotta get rid of this and so for larry's sake and for you know our sake i suppose well i will be attached to to any nonsense like jesus keep the zip bro um uh you know it was it was borderline anyway he didn't go crazy or anything i've heard some people say crazy crazy stuff from the left

that's scary that you would think would be a crime. It wasn't near that. But it was like, ah, I'd like to blah, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, to old juda, juda, ja, and it was like, whoa, we can't say that. Yeah, he was kind of fantasizing about murdering

a public figure that you've heard of. Ha, ha, ha. But we just can't get down like that. Too woke! public figure that you've heard of. Okay. But we just can't get down like that. Too woke! We're too woke! Too woke. We're getting that all the time.

We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time.

We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time.

We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time.

We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time.

We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. We're getting that all the time. I got everybody in my DMs telling me I'm woke now that I'm blue pilled because I never got on the Andrew Tate train Larry was my idea

so if you liked him you're welcome and if you hated him like most of my friends did I'm sorry. Oh your friends didn't like him? I thought it was a great show A bunch of people told me they didn't like him A lot of people liked the episode. thought we got like good stories out of him good because i i i don't know my my friends didn't like larry i'll take a peek and see if it was highly rated or poorly rated compared to our other shows he's just he's a guy that you got to keep on the rails because he likes to he likes to tell ancillary like uh rabbit trail stories while he's i was getting so frustrated i felt like you guys were judging me. Like Kyle brought this guy on who can't even keep his fucking wits about him

long enough to tell us what a jewel thief does. I want it. Cause I was like, let me tell him what it's like. I've been telling him. It's so funny. It's like that, that Looney tune thing when you,

when you want the frog to dance, but, but every time you show them the frog it lays their dead they turn their back he's like hello my baby hello do the dance god damn it dude i love that having them on one i thought the show was great i looked at the ratings it was pretty typical for for our last like five or ten and we'd be right in the middle um i brought on the second worst guest PKA's ever had. That surfer dude from New Jersey. Do you remember him? I may have blanked him out.

I'm sorry. Dude, he was just almost an obstinately bad guest. There was a dude in the background who was more entertaining than he was. I remember that. I remember that. Ben Gravy. Ben Gravy worst i wasn't there for that episode but i'm told boss nasty was the worst guest pk i don't know who that is he was a professional

gamer i think you were on that episode but i wasn't there for some reason it was i don't remember the week before last yeah touche i'm gonna watch it i want to i want to know how low the bar goes dude ben gravy like we'd ask him questions and he like didn't want to be associated with it he didn't want to like get down and who was in a cab who was in a cab on a fucking cell phone who was that oh that was a 60 days in guy right the name fuck that guy that's my the better question is the ones who made us the maddest and like like like i'll get i get he won't say anything but but sometimes they've been so shitty before this if you ever see me kind of being hot with somebody like right out of the gate it's because we've been talking to this guy for 30 45 minutes and he's already like gotten under my collar and i've already decided

you're not a good idea for a guest. If I were the fucking king of the world, I would have said, hey, wait a goddamn minute. Hey, you, get the fuck out of here and hung up on you and we'd have just went without you. Is that how you felt about the bagel dude? Oh, no. I liked having him there to fuck with. I liked him too. I wanted to

fuck with him because he needed it because he was just a piece of shit midget bully. R.I.P. The guy was Nate's friend. Did the stroke finally take his little heart? Oh yeah, he's six inches under. Good. He is dead though. Zach says Cat Gun

was bad. I thought that was a fun episode. I thought that we got some fun jokes about the if I recall, making fun of her for her stupid purchase with the rc thing yeah because she she framed it initially as though it was like a track for like a bad guess it's like real four-wheelers and stuff if i remember it and then when we find out it was rc it's like wait what you just ruined your yard like for nothing yeah i thought that was stupid i don't know but but look look it there's frivolous spending and

there's frivolous spending right if you spent fifteen thousand dollars on this thing who fucking cares yeah that's what she likes literally but but if you spent like 1.5 million dollars on it i'm gonna be asking like oh so when did the when does the when the crowds arrive because this is a business here now right dude so the question i framed it a little more artfully than this but it was something to the effect of hey you're like a 32 year old titty streamer what are you doing for the future right because this was before titty streamers were millionaires right yeah and uh she was like a baseball player in the 60s. She's like, well, I have a skid steer and I put a remote-controlled track in my backyard.

And it was like, this is the worst investment ever. There's the one part where Larry was talking about, again, trying to get him to do the jewel thief story. Tell me about the break it down. And he got caught on this side trail. It was like in Fallout when you're trying to get the main quest done and some guy comes up wants you to get some green paint you're like i guess it seems like but he was he was like he was like i was talking i was talking to these kids and i told them you know

kids today they're smarter than we are in a different kind of way my granddaughter i'll tell you she can take a cell phone right out of the box and just program it right and i'm like she can program us like keep in mind she's not jailbreaking her fucking galaxy and like right like making it literally apple software so she's literally putting his contacts in a goddamn. Connecting to the wifi. That's what he's bragging about his tech, techno daughter. And what I want to say is like,

I don't care back to the rubies. Cause emeralds. I hear emeralds are the more valuable than diamonds. Why didn't you get the emeralds what is it god damn it it was an apple cell phone and they say they're intuitive but i'm gonna tell you six hours with that thing no idea what i did to it my daughter though fixed it right away reprogrammed it she hacked it oh god i was just like god damn it tell me what it's like to rob a jewelry store you smack them in the face you ever fucking kneecap one you punch them with your left or you hit them with the gun but like like tell me that tell me

about prickly pete and like like the fence that like did you wrong and prison stories. I mean, goddamn story. You ever heard that, that saying, like if you're not writing about the most, is this the most exciting part of your character's life? Like when you're writing a book and it's, and if you say no, then why aren't you writing about that?

Yeah. This dude's just like, I'm going to tell you about how I brought. Let me tell you about Tuesday. I am. yeah this dude's just like i'm gonna tell you about how let me tell you about tuesday i'm kind of a news junkie so it was interesting to me that he testified in front of congress and i tried to get him to tell me how he testified in front of congress and what that experience was like then he tells me how his friend's kid needed to be scared straight and we never got to congress let me tell like and he's so bad at that that's such and we never got to Congress. Let me tell you, and he's so bad at that. That's such a cool.

I'd have been like, let me tell you, Woody. I'm not the kind of guy that likes showing up those big marble buildings, first of all. So when they called me, I was a little hesitant. I go in there, and this place is huge. And there's Mitch McConnell, and there's this guy and that guy. And I'm down here looking at him and these guys want to hear from me and i think larry you've climbed out of the gutter somehow and you've made it that's what i want tell me a fucking story tell me what they asked you and how

and what that i want you to say so i don't you make up some i'll tell you what i've been scared in prison nothing scarier than looking up at that beady-eyed senator who wants to know what's what say that i'll fucking nod along and smile and i won't talk shit about you in the next week some people are terrible at telling a narrative though like some people are just born storytellers and some people are just useless i've seen him tell stories on his on his show and i think what he's what he's got is maybe his book in front of him and i bet you know he had a ghost writer who drug those stories out of him put them in the right order made him right and then it's almost like he's like reading his life story from his biography

sometimes i guess like god damn i wish you brought a book that night time to maybe we'll get the book and hope he doesn't come at me with the iron right yeah it's gonna make you wrinkle free that was my joke y'all gave it to him i don't know i'm wrong no i can't do it anymore well check out all the sponsors, everyone, and be sure to go over to Slush Puppy's channels. Check him out. Say hello. And remember, PKA 50 for the Delta Bars

at Wonky Weeds, PKA 20 for everything else, and code PKA and jizz for anything over at Derek's. Start coming like a man. And that's it. End the show. It's over.