Painkiller Already - PKA 620: Kyle Gets Robbed, What is Acceptable Cheating, Jackie Lied

Episode Date: November 5, 2022

pka 620 just the boys this time kind of happy to hear that taylor me too this episode of pka brought to you by wonky weeds death by gummy bears blue chew and of course lock and load premium cum pill that shout out shout out to overt flow friend of the show he messaged me he was like check it out i'm on team cum and he showed me a picture and i i don't check my dms on twitter enough so i guess it was from a couple weeks ago and he was like oh yeah dude nine pills a day i'm absolutely juiced like i'm juiced to the gills he says it's it's really working for him so take that how you will it's hilariously effective and i need to clean my flat screen tv just saying christ see that's that's a lack of self-control even if you can come that far practices if you ask me that has nothing to do with

self-control at all jesus christ i got ripped off this week by what yeah by little caesars i think for what five dollars first of all you turn around and you're hot and ready he was gone this this fraud is priceless taylor there's no cash dollar amount that i could lay on this you're already a little it would be five dollars yeah it would be closer to 10 or so i don't know dollar reduce or something so the problem is that uh call of duty modern warfare 2 released and they had these double xp tokens so of, they partnered with some very healthy companies to get the young people who are going to be sitting there

for dozens of hours playing their game, you know, eating something good for them. So you got Little Caesars, you got Jack Link's Beef Jerky, and Mountain Dew, and Mountain Dew. Jack Link's isn't too bad of those three. Well, the problem is that everybody goes into the stores and tears the codes off the Jack Link's and takes them home or hawks them online for dollars. Who would do this?

Everyone does that. And so I was going to be smart. I was like, let's door dash a couple of little Caesars hot and readies. All right. Get the Cola Duty Pack. That's what it's called. It comes with two Mountain Dews. And their pizza is like split in half.

One half pepperoni and the other half is just cheese sticks. They just turn the pizza into cheese sticks and they're like, this is your big thing of marinara? I was so happy. Revolutionary. Got the codes right on the front of the box. And they've been stolen. Someone had stolen the codes when the DoorDash man arrived with my pizzas and I happily

scanned them in. They were stolen. Were all the codes gone? I mean, there was only two. And they were both gone? Do you think the driver was taking them like i think that whoever's working at little caesars is there's a stack of those boxes you've probably seen them if you're like looking behind the counter of a pizza hut and he's just going through there getting them all and nobody cares and then in the in the chat they were like you should you should do something call them up and i'm like oh yeah this will be the most hilarious, pathetic phone conversation ever.

Excuse me, sir. My double XP token has been stolen off of my little Caesar's hot and readies. Yes, I am 36 years old. That's right. Yes. No, officer. I don't think I'm overreacting. Yeah, they weren't going to have that.

But luckily, somebody else was coming up. Was the pizza good? I actually tried the pizza and the cheese sticks and they were both like way better than I thought they were going to be. There you go. Pretty solid day at the end, right? Who would have guessed that bread with cheese

and sauce would be so good? Low quality though. Little Caesars is like the bottom of the bend. But you know what you're getting. Maybe you're right. I did. I'd never been there before. Really? You'd never been to Little Caesars? The the bottom of the bend. But you know what you're getting. Maybe you're right. I did. I'd never been there before. Really?

You'd never been to Little Caesars? The fact that they keep those bitches cooked and like sitting there on the counter, I mean, that doesn't speak highly of the quality that's to be had at this establishment. Not really. Their food's laying around in the back and they've got, oh yeah, they're hot and ready.

That's not a plus. No, you're right. It's not. That's a cliche, yeah. But I mean, they're basically just taking the McDonald's and Burger King model moving it to pizza. Who is the best fast food pizza?

Fast food pizza? Included in that's like Pizza Hut, Domino's, Papa John's. Major chain? Maybe that would have been a better descriptor. Yeah, Papa John's used to be good. Used to be the best. They changed. They suck now. Yeah, Papa John's used to be good. Used to be the best.

They changed. They suck now. Yeah, they got rid of Papa. Man, Papa must have genuinely been in the factory like, get that shitty pepperoni out of here. And then as soon as he left, they're just like, let the fucking shitty pepperoni out of here. He was willy-nillying those N-bombs out there,

and they had to take him down a peg. That's the price of good pizza, apparently. That's the price of good pizza. And I was willing to pay it. I pay it every day i mean i i don't agree with the chick-fil-a guy and i still go there now and then absolutely guy i think it's more of an organization that all feel the same way when you deal with chick-fil-a you're just like dealing with the nazis when you they got a whole organization there what if what if they genuinely had Adolph's fried chicken and it was to die for? Really? Does it come with a little mustache?

If you want, instead of a crown, it comes with a little mustache? The frozen pizzas that I buy comes with a little mustache on the back. It's like the cardboard's perforated, so there's a little thing that goes in your nose like this, and then you've got a little cardboard mustache. It's really fun. That'd be fun. Yeah, well, for Adolf's fried chicken.

Well, more of a more. It's more of like a handlebar situation. Honestly, I would say for the pizza thing. Now that I'm thinking about it more, I don't know if Papa John's. I know Papa John's used to be better than it is now, for sure. But I think I might have some rose tinted glasses for the past solely because of that garlic butter sauce. That did a tremendous amount of heavy lifting for that dog shit quality pizza do they not still have it no they still do but like well it's really the pizza it's not not really he's just saying now that he has a more mature

palate that he might not yes rate it in the same way now that i'm up if you watched a day port noise uh you know the barstool sports one pizza reviews, he has his own pizza now. That or somebody is really ripping off his brand. It's called One Bite. Is that any good? It's really good. I bought it the other day. They're like $8 and they're good. Like $7.50 or something. They were the cheapest frozen pizza. $7.50, but it's the size of an enderve. No, no.

It's a large pizza. It's $7.50, but I think it was the cheapest and the best of all pizzas that I've tried that are frozen. Honestly, who was it? Domino and the best of all pizzas that I've tried that are frozen. Honestly, who was... Was it Domino's or Pizza Hut that had that big ad campaign like 12 years ago that was like, we're so sorry. We know it's bad. Was that

Domino's? That's brilliant. Do you remember that? No, but I vaguely do remember that. Our pizza used to suck. You're like, whoa, you have my attention. What changes have you made? They were good commercials. I remember watching those in the late 2000s, and it was a You're like, whoa, you have my attention. What changes have you made? They were good commercials. I remember watching those in the late 2000s, and it was a guy being like, I'm the CEO of Domino's,

and I'm sorry. Because it was just dog shit quality pizza. You remember it used to taste like foam, and then they made it taste like real pizza. But then again, it's also not good. It's only good by point of comparison. Pizza Hut might take it. Pizza Hut might actually take it. Who's the one that does the cheese in the crust?

Is that more than one? Pizza Hut invented it. Yeah. They might be the best in my opinion. Usually, I order Papa John's just because I don't know any better, and they have that garlic butter. But I had that cheese in the crust a few years ago, and I still can't get past it.

Since I grew up playing baseball, after every time you win, you get a pizza party. So those were held at Pizza Hut. Because Pizza Hut was set up for that. They were smart. They were like, oh, yeah, we're having a pizza party. Come on in. Get a big table or whatever. Oh, yeah.

You got your red translucent plastic cup. Oh, those are so... Did you say that? And I can taste that. I can feel it in my hand. Here's one. When you look at that tiny tiny ice the way it turns white on top but why does it turn white i don't know but it's not clean yeah that's probably it's excrement it's floating the top uh no that was really good pizza and and i can still when i ate that low quality pepperoni i like pinched it off the pizza last night i was like that's just like the pepperoni from when i was a kid at pizza hut it's that cheap it's like

when they cook the pizza hot enough to make the the pepperoni like crisp up and curl up a little bit that's good i like that i enjoy the quality pepperoni what did you do after like like when you played like hockey or whatever sports as a kid were there parties after wins or was there a celebration of any kind yeah when i was for when i was very young playing roller hockey and in ice hockey we would go for chicken wings after we had a big win to a local chicken wing place it was super fucking good and i liked that more that like i remember as a kid like it being cemented in my mind that meat makes you big and strong. And a huge amount of that came from like a total misunderstanding. Like an adult told me once about like Mark McGuire eating a bunch of meat and like seeing him and being like, God, like I need to eat a bunch of.

I remember once literally sitting watching Mark McGuire play and I was eating ribs that my grandma had made. And I was full. And I was like, I want to be like Mark McGuire. I have to keep eating these ribs. And so in the end, it didn't work. It didn't work. I just got fatter and slower and worse at baseball. But yeah, I had it in my head.

And Mark McGuire was a big reason. I remember as a kid seeing his forearms on TV and being like, yeah, what? How he must eat so much meat. I don't know where that got in my head i mean i bet he ate a lot of meat you know a lot of steroids but yeah what he said he remembered you remember his forearms i was just outrageous those forearms they were like calves they were like calves they i they didn't look like human forearms they look like chimpanzee forms or something. They were bursting out. And, you know, the way he'd snap that bat.

Yeah. How old is he now? Last time I saw him, he didn't look great. Really? Those guys who aren't natty tend to age a little rougher, right? Like him in particular. Because the muscles blow them up and then they... Well, see, he's a ginger too, right?

So, like... Yeah, a lot of years in the sun. Woo! You're ginger. You gotta be careful out there. Yeah, but he's the kind too right so like yeah a lot of years in the sun you're ginger you gotta you gotta be careful out there yeah he's the kind of ginger that's been on his parents what are those umbrellas that ladies wear call uh carry parasols yeah yeah is a parasol an umbrella that's just for the sun i think it's an umbrella that's just for women ah a man wouldn't traditionally no i think you'd be too girthy to hide under a mere parasol

what's the male version of a parasol an umbrella fair yeah i'm looking at current mark mcguire yeah i i mean part of the challenge is he needs to stack up to the old mark mcguire yeah at least he's the same color unlike unlike Sammy Sosa, who turned pink. Sammy Sosa looked like he got shot by an experimental ray from a scientist. Sammy Sosa looks like he ate a blueberry on a candy tour when he wasn't supposed to. He touched a cursed piece of treasure from an ancient pirate or something. He and Mark McGuire's skin tone, like ships in the night. Mark McGuire kept his and dropped off

his skin tone for Sammy to have as well. Now they match. He looks like that pink character on the Halloween cereal. Why is he dressing like that? That doesn't help. No. Look, the one on the left,

these pictures are so funny because the one on the left doesn't look real. i can't look the first the one on the left these pictures are so funny because the one on the left doesn't look real it looks like those pictures that people do when their children are kidnapped and they show you what an artist rendering of what the child would look like yeah that's what that looks like the second one he looks like an alien posing as a man like wearing his skin he's all bloated he's a little he's a little shiny like like why is that bow tie shiny who wears a shiny bow tie and then over here on the right you've it's like the alien has been exposed for the alien he is but earth accepted him so this is how his true form yeah much best i mean obviously best in the far left when he was a professional athlete but what's crazy is how he doesn't look like the same

person like his facial shape changed and he didn't just gain weight he gained weight in a weird way and it doesn't look like himself of course is the skin color change yeah I mean like who would see far right now and be like you were you were neck

and neck myth McGuire like who would yeah I bet no one asked him for for autographs he can walk the streets no problem no he looks like the ghost of sammy sosa pass like just kind of literally looks like the ghost of sammy what a poor guy yeah yeah you probably have to have some body image issues to go through what i am mad i don't imagine that kind of skin change is like uh oh you sat in the machine too long on the first session like i bet that's a shit ton of stuff you do i know in asia they do like skin whitening stuff like creams i didn't even think about that you you don't think that just happened to him naturally

that it was just a byproduct of oh i do i i think that it was both i think that that he got like vitiligo or something and then he was like let's make it match and that's your end result it matches but it's fucking weird oh that's my guess that's a guess i was guessing because it's such an extreme change i was like how would that happen naturally you know like your skin doesn't usually just wildly change when you're already an adult like when ligo seems to hit adults you know christina applegate um she played you know here yeah she i for me she was um i think kelly from uh married with children you know the hot daughter she's coming in the crowd go like wolf and stuff and like she's she's super hot well she lost i think she had like a mastectomy a few years

ago uh i think a double mastectomy she lost both her breasts to cancer and now she's got ms now she's got ms and she's gained 40 pounds and she was like just so you know i have ms and i've gained 40 pounds and i'm very aware of it that's really and it's like fuck poor lady that sucks yeah i've often maintained that like if if some gamer breaks his leg and some athlete breaks his leg that it's a bigger tragedy when that poor athlete who's everything was going out and doing shit now that's taken away from i'd get my leg to connor if he needed it you that athlete, he can't be himself anymore, but the gamer still can. On a similar note, poor Christina Applegate used to be hot.

She's fallen so far. It's a tragedy. She should stay some level. She should be old hot. She should be the gilf of, you know, 90s, 80s TV. Sometimes health fucks you. You know, still somehow kind of hot. Her name's escaped me right now,

but she's done tons of voice work and Sons of Anarchy. The mother from... Oh, Katie Segal, the lady from Futurama. And Married with Children, again. You know, like, she must be 60 now. She looks way better than Sammy S sosa at 60 i'm sure probably couldn't hit as many dingers yeah probably not probably not a single one really i remember watching sons of anarchy you ever hit a home run roof no i've never hit a home run what and i

thought i'd gotten past that i've hit lots of home run T-ball, backyard, yeah Oh no, no, no, no, regulation Like in a game Whistle ball In a game where you're wearing a jersey Are you counting that little football game where we Flicked the piece of paper to? I've hit some homers in that, yes

This is unfair because now it looks like I've never hit a backyard homerun Like an asshole, no Oh you idiot, you can't hit a backyard homerun Anytime the ball went far enough that we didn't want to go get it that's a homer uh-huh uh-huh that worked did you ever hit a home run like getting pitched to yeah that's yes no well i guess i am a loser i'm still counting backyards okay backyard i've done that because it was like my little brother and I'm just like creaming it it's okay to be

bigger and stronger than your opponents that's there's nothing against the rules it's fair we all agreed to this the rules and such I hated baseball so much it was every time my dad was like time to go to base your baseball game I'd always be like oh like that's the feeling I would

get like oh like it's the feeling i would get like oh like it was like going to school it was so boring because i was used to playing roller hockey and when you're six playing roller hockey you're not really doing line changes you're just like oh i just get to go out there and play for a few minutes and then i get called back and i leave and baseball was like taylor get ready am i going up no and it was like oh but next inning maybe maybe but travis we're gonna let him go three times because he's retarded like or whatever the situation was yeah it sucked i hated baseball the absolute worst sport soccer blew the pants off baseball and soccer was not really we didn't have soccer at least you're moving the whole time i remember like here's

how small town podunk we are like i remember when soccer became a thing like a team sport for our school it was the 11th grade i believe that was the first i never we'd ever heard of that european football and and everybody was like is anyone even going to join the team and everybody was like nah you couldn't call it a soccer team? None of the people who played other sports joined the team, so they had to go from the talent that lied elsewhere in the school. Hey, man, I seem to be playing that tuba with fervor. How about... I've got some lungs on you. Come out here and go for a run.

Let's see what you can do. They had to recruit from everybody else, I guess. Nobody wanted to play soccer. What sports were the prestige sports in your high school? I don't think there were any. I guess football. Football and baseball, for sure. Nobody gave a shit about tennis.

I thought of the golf people as they found some loophole that nobody had advertised to me. I was like, you can do that? They go on fun trips and wear khakis. Were you jealous of the golf guys? Yeah, they were going to Sunday school wearing polos or some shit.

I'm over here having to go to this shitty ass... I hated lunch. Lunch was the worst part of school. I hated that. That was my favorite part of school. Why was that your favorite because it was the only time you could eat um checks out yeah yeah i never i never looked forward to that food i it was just so bad did you bring your food taylor or did you buy it uh it would switch off it would depend um i'd go through big like phases where i was bringing it

and then i'd fall back into just like alright I'll get the lowest quality fucking chicken sandwich wrapped in foil for a couple weeks until I start to feel sick and then I'll start bringing my lunch again like it was it should be elite how bad the quality of the food is in schools the breakfast was excellent though I guess like cheap breakfast is

still good breakfast if you think about it biscuits sausage and grits to me I'm like yeah that's a good breakfast that's the cheapest shit ever, biscuits, sausage, and grits. To me, I'm like, yeah, that's a good breakfast. That's the cheapest shit ever. It's the ground-ass part of the pig, and it's like flour and water, right? So it's the cheapest shit ever. So breakfast would always be good at school. And when I had driver's ed or any class that was on the edge of the school,

those teachers would be like, Myers, you'll get us some breakfast. And I'm like, you know, bacon, egg and cheese. Or what do you want here? You just go down the road and like, like get breakfast because there was restaurants nearby. But that's nice. That was post-school shooting too. They would, they would let us like bounce in and out.

I remember after, after Columbine, it started being a thing where it was like you can't bring your guns to school anymore because it sounds crazy but before then lots of people would have their hunting rifles in their trucks outside in the parking lot because you'd go hunting in the morning didn't get one you go to school like wearing a cut their big guy their big guy wearing his fucking like maybe not his whole camouflage get up but his pants or whatever the party couldn't take off to school because he went hunting that morning and did he smell like deer urine you usually don't put the urine on yourself it's it it's oh i've been doing it horribly wrong yeah you want to drink it you want to drink it down oh never mind i did it right yeah yeah you got it. Or just eye drop it.

You want to concentrate. Where do you put the urine? I actually thought you masked your own body scent with it. So that is how that gentleman got beaten half to death by that deer that time. And that video you probably seen. The fact that he's a pussy. That and he's a pussy, yes. Probably why the deer was so angry. I'm sure.

So you put that on like a wick and then that you hang that from like a branch out over there and that smells like a doe that's in heat ready to breed and then you usually correspond that with the audio of a doe it's like this little grunt thing use a collar and you know hopefully a buck hears that smells that comes in takes the bait but i never did that shit because I could shoot. So I just got up on a hill and I could see half a mile in every direction and just shot him. Did you not do it because you thought it was not really sporting? I didn't think it was required.

I wasn't into being very sporting, to be honest. I killed a lot of deer. What's the most, in your opinion, because you know how people will be like, oh, this guy went to Africa and killed a lion in a cage. That's not real hunting. What is the absolute most you can do and still consider it hunting, in your view? Like the most assistance you can have. Hypothetically, Taylor, if I go to Ukraine and drop some bombs via a drone, is that still hunting?

No, that's war. That's a war crime. No, that's war. That's a war crime. No, that's war tourism. Which I don't think is a crime. That shouldn't be. I'm fine. I think what matters is, do you care about the distinction between hunting

and shooting? I never really have when it came to certain types of animals. With pigs, look, my dogs, man, those are like people almost. And then like a cow, man, that cow is kind of cool. Notice how it runs over here when it sees me bring the sweet feet out in the bucket. Like he knows, man. But but then like some animals, it's like you're this close to a fucking cockroach. Like you're gone, buddy. Like, like I got nothing for you.

Like the coyotes, coyotes would come and they would like find a calf that was newborn and they would disembowel it alive and kill it in the night. And so you, you, you generate some hatred for those animals because, um, and, uh, and sort of start, stop thinking of them the same way you do dogs because they've got to go. You want them done. So when you make their traps, you're like, yeah, put some barbed edges on it. Make sure it works.

You're not trying to make a humane trap anymore. You're just making sure it works. So yeah, that changes. But if we're talking about hunting, I don't want to hunt anything really that can't hunt back. I've been thinking about going on a trip to shoot a bear with a bow or maybe a big cat with a bow but i wouldn't want to kill anything else that wasn't a predator anymore unless it was for food i don't want to sound like that loser we had as a guest

like 12 years ago i'm not trying to like hunt for my food but if i were gonna hunt a deer i would i would only shoot a deer again if okay he's a loser i was i would only shoot a deer um if it was like to feed me or somebody else or something like that i i just wouldn't want it to of course all the deer always shot went to somebody somebody always ate them i never like would you eat the bear that you killed so you didn't waste it i was looking at how much it costs i think that it costs more than I want it. Like, it's not that I can't afford to shoot a bear. It's like,

that's ridiculous. I think all dollars or it would cost about $35,000. Oh, wow. Cause I bury you like a bear. Okay. I don't want, I mean,

I, I want to, cause you'd have to, I want to body mount too. I'm counting a lot of things here like transportation moving the bear mounted here and then the license to kill the bear that's like 15 or 20 grand to get started

how much for a polar bear? I don't think they let you shoot those but at my zoo are you some kind of snitch? I didn't ask you if I'm allowed to shoot a polar bear I'm telling you about Lenny at the zoo he'll hook you up do you have any methamphetamine? I didn't ask you if I'm allowed to shoot a polar bear. I'm telling you about Lenny at the zoo. He'll hook you up.

Do you have any methamphetamine? Obviously, I still have some left over. He loves the stuff. He gives it to the bear. The money. Here's a loophole. There's no way it costs any money at all to kill a grizzly bear in self-defense. There's no way.

Once it's dead once it's dead it's dead like if it happens to attack you and you fear for your life and you are you happen to be filming a tiktok or whatever and you're like he's coming right at me and then bang i bet you get off scot-free the proposition well i mean how do i kill it though because because the way i was going to kill it was going to be up in a... No, not allowed to use those. I'm going to be using a bow. I'm using a bow and arrow. A bow and arrow to kill a bear?

A grizzly bear? Yes. Seems like the wrong tool for the job. See, that's the thing. Crossbow. If you use a gun, it's not even scary. It's not even scary. I'd use such a gun that one shot would always kill it and i just won't miss i'll just do that and the bear will die right if i use a bow like jesus if if i hit it and like have i missed the lungs in the heart

will he come up the stream get me do i need to have like like a bunch of black powder pistols like a pirate ready to be like you make a point. It's the same reason I exclusively hunt dragons with spears. It's so funny. You mentioned that because I would bring a spear because I want to be up in the tree with a spear in case he comes up at me. I want to be able to poke him back down. Right. I don't want to be like taking my arrow out of a quiver and giving him a

poke. I want to, you know, he don't want to be out there looking silly. No, no. Go ahead. Go a to know. He don't want to be out there looking silly. No. Go a step farther. Don't climb up the

tree at all. If you miss the bear, start jousting. I will need a shield bearer for this adventure. I'm not playing favorites here. Either one of you are more than welcome. You'll be my shield bearer.

Wait a minute. I give you the shield if we get in real trouble'll be my shield bearer. So wait a minute. I give you the shield if we get in real trouble? This sounds horrible. Yeah, you're hanging on to it until I need it. I don't want to get dangerous. You better take this. Both of your guys' cardio is too good. I'm not going in the woods with you on a bear issue.

The bear catches you in three seconds. We need to bring someone a little slower. Yeah, yeah. Have you seen how quick they climb the trees? i feel like you miss once with a bow it's gonna be up there before you can get your fucking halibird you know inverted pointed at it it can jake and run up like a 30 foot tree in two seconds it's like it runs up the tree just to be clear i have no active plans to go do this thing i did look into it so i was expensive and i was like i don't want to do it that bad that said just before anybody's like carl do not go grizzly hunting with a bow my uncle did they ate him i get those all the time people i'm like you know those are jokes right

if you want to hear about somebody's injured family member tell him you ride a motorcycle my goodness everybody has a fucking story about how their great aunt sally fell off a motorcycle or made a left and some car to hit them or who knows why do you think i want to hear this story a hundred percent of the time you tell a motorcyclist the time that other motorcyclists you knew got hurt they're like i wish you weren't talking i saw two horrific motorcycle crash stories on reddit the other day didn't send you a single one because I need you probably out on your goddamn bike. I was on mine! It wasn't awful. Jackie, where have you been today?

Good time. You went today? Went out today? I took Jackie out for a motorcycle ride today. We went and bought... Actually, we're going on a big trip Saturday to Monday. So, we just wanted another piece of luggage so we could bring shoes and shit.

Where are you going? Charlotte. Charlotte. Where specifically? What's the address? It's an Airbnb, which I know I guess is a little out of fashion now, but somebody's apartment, I guess. Okay. Is there just a big trail there you're interested in? No.

It's another sexcation. I'm just gonna take jackie and bender over every couch in the apartment dude i i don't know the bedroom windows story but this is the stupidest fucking story i don't know how to tell it without ending up on the i had sex subreddit. But last sexcation, we walked through the door of the hotel room, right? And

instantly it's like, well, we all know what we're here for, right? And we begin. But there's a bed there, but fuck the bed. How many times have you had sex? This is not for run-of-the-mill sex. You don't go on sexcations to get busy on the bed. So, you know, we were on the couch or whatever.

Eventually, I have her up against the window, right? And you think it sounds like real exposing or something, like a fourth-floor window on a hotel. But there's nothing in front of us but a parking garage. In every direction, no one can see anything. So you get to sort of like play with the exhibitionism, but not do it. Right. Because it's a parking garage and there are no cars on top of this parking garage.

Nobody. So no one's coming. No one's leaving. Well, somebody's coming. Bespinga. Dude, I don't know why. I can't explain it. I don't know what this person's doing there's still no

cars on the top of this parking deck but the guy comes out like the fuck who's the east side down guy who like anyway he comes in with a bride with a lawn chair flips it out sets it on top of the parking garage and sits there and it's like are you fucking serious this guy is setting up a lawn chair and he's like pointed it at our i know he was watching of course he was yeah of course he was what and did you you didn't let him dictate the pace of play did you we maybe brought that up in terms of dirty talk like 12 times since then so no uh that weirdo he was watching don't judge me people the miller highlife guy wasted on the top yeah that was the first session of the vacation and uh we had an audience kick it off strong nice well i'm glad that you didn't let him watching stop you from fucking near the window.

You dictated the term. You controlled the engagement. Yeah, exactly. It's what I'm all about. Yeah, yeah. And obviously, this is just Minecraft. But we're going to go mining for mushrooms on this vacation. I've got it all set up.

Well, you should go mushroom picking. You're not going to find much mining for them. I use a pickaxe, and they're 14 feet tall in this island so you're singing labor songs um do you know where to go to get the mushrooms i have it all lined up yeah it's awesome i don't know if either of you watched those uh those clips i sent you but the first one is uh look i don't is matt what's what who's matt gates is he like a crazy person that that's not he's a politician he's a politician i know the house of representatives in florida and he's uh he's one of those performative republicans like okay he wore a

gas mask to sort of say that covid was fake to the floor at the you know in the congress building um he's also the one i bring up charges kind of dropped but who hired that sugar baby and flew her across state lines and she turned out to be under 18 but she lied and said she was 19 so i don't hold i hold him like lying child yes lying child but uh and he's really really maga so he's totally maga he likes 17 year old girls and he's a bit performative that that that clip um i stumbled upon it on youtube shorts and he's talking to the fbi's like who is it they're they're they're um they're tech side or something like that and it's about the hunter biden laptop and he's asking he's asking if he knows where it is and the guy was like i do not know where it is

this is like i have a receipt right here says the fbi took it you have it you took it here's the receipt you're telling me and you're the boss you're the guy who should know like you don't know i have no idea well i do i have hunter biden's laptop and i want to enter it into and like that's what the clip is i don't know if that's really the laptop i don't know it's a short they cut it off at the end i don't know if he's telling the truth or not i don't know if it was an old video i don't know what i but i thought it was interesting when they said this laptop like rings of russian disinformation i fell for it you know i was like so wait a minute you're telling me that this guy who like lives in california went to delaware dropped off a laptop to have it repaired

never picked up the laptop the laptop just happens to be at a maga enthusiast whose security cameras were down when hunter b Biden dropped off the laptop. This is the story I'm supposed to believe? Turns out that story's true. Yep. The laptop was Hunter's and there's a bunch of shit on there, a ton of shit on there that Hunter did,

which we all knew Hunter was dirty, right? We all knew that he didn't get the job at like the, I don't know, as a consultant for a Ukrainian energy company because of his expertise in Ukraine. It is a little, it's a weird coincidence, right? That the Hunter Biden thing was all about Ukraine. And now there's that huge war going on there, right? Yes.

Yeah. What was that? And was Zelensky in charge at the time? Is he involved at all? No! Not Volodymyr. I don't know. There was a more corrupt guy before him.

Was he the guy doing this? I don't know. We know Hunter's dirty. We don't know specifically but this nepotism, this, what I'm going to assume was some sort of no show job. For sure. Probably most listeners know, but a no show job is one you don't have to go to.

They just pay you as pretending that you work there. Yeah, because you're like George Bush's son or Biden's son or a nephew of someone powerful. And they're like, oh, well, paying this person $400,000 a year is actually a great investment because they're going to look kindly on us when we need a little favor here or there. Exactly. It's not like it's just Biden's doing this. It's all about him. So anyway, yeah. And not that the fact that Trump's kids making money makes this any better, but I can't tell what's par for the course, what's pretty extraordinary.

I do know I don't like it. So let's see where it goes it what i'm seeing on poll data i know politics i'm seeing the republicans are like a lock to take the house that's been known for some time now and are likely to take the senate which is kind of new information and it's trending that way so it in my opinion polls are always wrong by about two weeks right they're really uh in today's poll results are what people thought last week so um and that's because it takes about a week to do the poll and to assemble the results and whatever cool so the new polls we're seeing are like man it just keeps tipping more to the senate so So one would guess that by next week,

the Republicans maybe win this thing. And what's tricky is this. We are within the margin of polling error from the Democrats keeping this whole thing and the Republicans sweeping it in a pretty big way. So we are within the margin of polling error of people thinking this election was rigged. I was reading, and who knows how true it is like that there tend to be like big swings when there are enormous changes in the consumer price index like throughout and because that's

like really that resonates with people because that's when they go to the store and in their face they're like wait this pack of chicken wings three or six months ago was eleven dollars now it's sixteen dollars and that yeah where have you know we're in our weird detached first world lives our quasi first world lives where we're internet people or whatever where did you notice the inflation first grocery store it was like product oh meat yeah meat for sure like chicken beef like all that's gone up pretty noticeably i eat this lobster sandwich sometimes for lunch it's 25 and suddenly it was 28 and i was like that's too much for a sandwich and then it became 30 jesus it's now a 30 you know it's like a lobster roll with like lots of lobster meat and they drizzle it

when it's it's a $30 for a sandwich that's insane it's a real fuck it is I mean I don't buy the $30 sandwich I was

the $25 sandwich seems excessive I mean it comes with fries but still yeah I mean fries are free basically well I mean they're there

coffee's free fries are fucked when a $20 sandwich doesn't show up with fries though you're like this better be a good fucking sandwich. You're not even bringing a sidekick. I wish drinks were free.

Drinks are too big a profit center. It's not fair. I get water just to stick it to the man. You know who the best people on any app with your ordering food. If you see they do this, just go ahead and give them like order from them. Be loyal. The Chinese people do it a lot. So a lot of the apps have a minimum order to get your your delivery for free right

okay well then the stores that are shitty like the big corporate ones they make a deal with doordash postmates or whoever and they're like oh we'll make all of our meals like 11 or 11 dollars and 87 cents so they have to buy a whole new $1.50, $2 item to get to $12. These restaurants do the opposite. They're like, we have an item that costs $0.10. It's called $0.10.

And you can just buy a few of those and ring it on over to $11. And they'll just let... They'll say... They do it different ways. It's always Asian restaurants, I notice. They're always scamming. It goes back to the thing Harley said about not paying the tax, right? Between the Jews and the Asians when he'd go to a

store that had Asian people. Harley knows. I'm going to start wearing a yarmulke. I want on board with what those guys have going on. It's a beautiful thing and I want to be part of it. You're going to start wearing a yarmulke? Can I do that? That'd look good on you? I know it would! You can wear it. I used to wear a yarmulke? Can I do that? That'd look good on you? I know it would. You can wear it.

I used to wear a yarmulke. I'm so tall, no one would notice. I bet I could get like the tallest of Jews. Charlie would know. Yeah, whenever I went to Temple, because I had a lot of Jewish, I was from Jersey, so I had Jewish friends, because that's where the Jewish people are.

And I don't know, like you do a sleepover or something, you just get sucked in to go into temple the next morning or you go to bar mitzvahs or bat mitzvahs. Yeah. They wouldn't make you wear a yarmulke, but they'd offer it and everyone else is wearing one, so I wanted to fit in. Dude, $23, I can get a blues yarmulke.

I was about to ask you to spell yarmulke, but it's kind of unfair now because you have it in front of me. I would have got it. It's difficult for me. It's got an L in there, right? Isn't it like yarmulke? Yep.

You can spell yarmulke? Y-A-R-M-U-L-K-E. The R I was unaware of. Yeah. It's Y-A-R-M-U-L-K-E. It's yarmulke? Yarmulke. Fuck off with your magical hat.

No, I'll sooner learn to draw the word in hebrew magic hats that's you know what isn't it interesting religions are so different i think every religion has magic hats or at least you know i think every culture every culture has a magical hat of some absolutely look at the pope's the Pope's hat. Look at the Cardinal's hat. I think hats were very important in olden times. I think the poorest of us, we had nothing on our heads. And then that was a real show of status. Christ had a hat, in a way. The crown of thorns.

A crown is a hat. Well, that was more of a mockery of his king of the Jews kind of thing. Let's not get in the weeds. He was wearing a hat. They still have him in the hat everywhere. It's not the weeds. He was wearing a hat. They still have them in the hat everywhere. It's not a hat. A crown is a hat. A crown's not a hat. If I rub shit on your head and say this is your crown

of shit. Okay, you know what? How about this? They have magic headwear. I don't think the crown of thorns is magic headwear. I don't either. It didn't do anything. It didn't imbue him with any powers. It was just a hurt. I don't either. It didn't do anything. It didn't imbue him with any powers. It was just a hurt. It was stingy.

Based on the way Mel Gibson wore it, it kind of hurt his forehead. On this, you are both right. Fine. Zach says a crown is a hat. Well, we're not talking about a real fucking crown, though, are we? Jesus, fuck.

So clear that the crown of thorns is not a hat okay fine but priests have hats sometimes not not not low level priests like the cardinals the the pope obviously has a number of hats yeah depending on what kind of spells he's using that day depends what he needs to buff he's got. He's got his illusion master hat so he can cast spells. He can cast master level spells with his illusion hat. Being the Pope would

rock. Really? It would be the best job in the world. Why? You just get to say what God says and hundreds of millions of people are like Old Pope was cool. But being the Pope throughout the, I don't the pope throughout the last 500 years was awesome. Maybe last thousand years. You see those stories about those crazy popes who would sell their popethood for a huge amount of money.

They'd be like, hey, you want to be the pope? Give me $2 million. And they would. And then he'd come back four years later, kill the guy and become pope again. There were a couple of crazy popes. Oh, yeah. They were insanely powerful back in the day to the point that like the kings of France and England, when they were going to war, would have to be like, oh, we have to go pay homage to the papacy.

And we have to go do this and that. And we need to get approval for the conflict. They had their own army. They had a real army. Yeah, yeah. They were enormously powerful. I wish we'd get a new pope who was like, need to invest in the armed forces again i think i think these guys with the silly hats and the spears that's not cutting it anymore we need like a blackwater uh wagner group style

10 000 man strong yeah yeah can you imagine how fabulously they dress they oh they look i'm trying what kind of army could they put together, though? Because they're not going to be high-tech. They most have to be clever and tough. They could be incredibly high-tech, as high-tech as they want. Everything's for sale, right? How's the Vatican going to have F-35s and the maintenance around it? If they want them, they can buy them.

How much money does the Vatican have? I don't know. They don't feel like they're as powerful as they used to be. F-35s are so expensive. We can bankrupt them with military sales in no time. I bet they could buy a whole slew of them, more than most countries in Europe. How much is the Vatican worth, Zach?

How much money do they have? I'm looking it up. Wouldn't it be like trillions or something? 30 billion? Really? 30 billion? What? 30 billion. What is that? One F-35?

How much is a F-35, Zach? I thought they were like 150 million or something. Yeah, that might even be high. It says 15 billion here. Well, that's... Elon Musk could buy and sell the Pope. I really thought they had more money. I bet they got more money.

What's their property worth? There's no way they're like... The Catholic Church? The Vatican's worth less than Twitter? accounting for the property. The Catholic Church? The Vatican's worth less than Twitter? That was $45 billion. This is worth $30? That can't be accurate. Think about all the money that's being sucked in in churches around the fucking planet.

$412 billion for an F-35? Are you sure you don't mean million? It means million. Okay. Vatican City is only 109 acres. It's the smallest country in the world well it's right there and wonderful italy you'll you'll be able to i'm sure it's worth it's got to be there 30 billion i don't buy it i don't buy it it has very high ceilings the vatican

you were there that's awesome and there's like they're like i think jesus's bones are underneath us right now and i'm like really like i don't know they have shit there they have things that matter they wouldn't want that to get out would they that jesus's bones are there am i mixing it up was it jesus's coffin something they've got well he wasn't in a coffin nor did he and he also went to you know he went back to go back and see what it is they said I was only half paying attention I would love a vlog of you being like so what's the

where's his coffin and every Easter Jesus Dracula and every Easter he comes back and gives candy to what how is he dead I just got chocolates from him like three months ago it's really

interesting because i know like your family's so religious like i bet they know the dogma by heart like like like as well as that's what i mean they got that religious after i grew up but don't they ever try to press it on you even a little oh every conversation yeah my father not my mother you don't you don't you don't like what's the word i'm looking for like go along with them just for the to be nice at all it's not always the same uh i don't i don't lie to them and act like you know oh i actually have been born again yeah i know i haven't mentioned it on the show but i'm all i'm all about it i don't do that but i do you know my wife calls it

the yes dear you know yeah you did yes dear yes yes oh yeah you bring up some strong yeah i'm not gonna challenge you on your beliefs or anything i'm not gonna disrespect them but it's like i'm trying to have a nice dinner with you it's not new it's not yeah that's the way to handle that the people who are like actually and start like disproving somebody's religion like bro do you really think you're going to convert this person to an atheist tonight yeah do you think they could convert you to a catholic hell no all right then shut the fuck up then it'd be your fees yeah watch the sports game we're here for let's talk about something like i i i don't think i'm ever going to talk about not believing in God again. I heard somebody recently be like, actually, I'm an atheist.

And I was like, you piece of shit. I was like, wait, me too. But the way you said it made you seem like such a scumbag. I don't know. If that's the way it sounds to me, I'm sure it sounds like that to plenty of people. It's like, oh, you don't believe? Well, shut the fuck up about it, because we do. It's our thing.

So I was going to leave him alone about it it because even when that person said it i was like what are you an asshole like oh you got it figured out huh but i'm sitting there like i totally know what you mean you know the one that i lean heavy on like this is where i really keep my mouth closed if i know you're an atheist and you've always been an atheist i've known you for eight years, and you've always been an atheist, I've known you for eight years now, and you're always an atheist, but suddenly your loved one is hurt, and now you're not,

no judgment. You do you, bro. Whatever you need. I don't care. I throw him up all the time. He gets a cut. Alright, if you're there, listen up. I'm so sorry about episodes 275 through 520. Oh, so sorry about episodes 275 through 520. Oh, so sorry.

You know, I, yeah, I'll absolutely pray if things are getting rough, you know. Anybody's listening up there, help. Yeah, yeah. It's like an insurance. I'm going to prison. It can't possibly hurt, you know. Yeah, I don't ever pray if I need help or anything. Maybe I'm the asshole atheist that we just talked about.

But if you do, I'm still on your team. I don't care. Whatever. If that helps you through this, good for me. I'm praying just in case anything exists out there. Maybe fucking Peter Pan's up there for real and he's like, really, Kyle? You need some help?

Okay. You never know. God damn it. I would rather if you take her bell but you do you. She gonna like fly in your pee hole? What's she gonna do? She's tiny. No. Hell yeah. That's how I want to go out. I feel like she could just say it.

She can fly up and down quickly as she grabs a few cocks talk she's like a hummingbird you know like a like a living ability i want to talk about call of duty a little bit because i think it's it's the most popular call of duty ever i think big and uh i i saw some people like say that i'm poo-pooing my opinions on the game and i think they're right they were like no it's a slow pace call of duty it's possible that that's true when you play the game now i'm not saying anything about how i play the game because i am bad at this call of duty um i'm better when i play by myself but here's the thing about the party that i have assembled

with i have we don't know who's the best when when Vavity, Dirty, Unicorn, Middy, Urban, and me are playing, we know I'm the worst. That's clear. But we don't know who the best is. It's not clearly Vavity. No. No. Sometimes Vavity is the third best in that group.

Okay. So we went on a win streak last night. Like all night, like six hours or something without losing. Like gold base. Just really winning everything and playing like multiple game modes we're not just playing like tdm and like pub stomping we're playing dom search um headquarters all that stuff and and going on i don't know 30 40 win streak whatever it was i'm in i'm just trying to catch up all the time and when i do run into, so they've got skill-based matchmaking. So I'm fighting dirty's enemies. I'm fighting bobbity's enemies.

Their enemies bounce off walls and fucking shoot you in the head twice and keep moving. It's hard. I'm getting shit on, but we're winning a lot. I'm getting shit on. Oh, and you can hear the death.

They had that death audio thing. So you get a quarter second of their audio when you kill them. And it's very satisfying if they're, if they're raging, they're always raging when we're playing against them. Like everybody's laughing because dirty is constantly getting accused of being a cheater. Bobby's constantly getting accused of being a cheater that they're that good.

Well, last night I was using a riot shield and knife. It's real fun to do that in domination you can do the throwing knife thing it's good to cap flags and some kind of bug happened and i became invincible like they couldn't kill me so and i already had the knife so i just ran through their whole team like michael myers until i got a nuke wow because of a glitch where you couldn't because of a glitch in the game yeah and a bunch of people are watching me in the discord and the whole time i'm doing i'm like

i swear i'm not cheating i don't even know how i swear but i'm clearly invincible and their whole team is stopping like like a firing squad and i'm just die just running through them it was i mean it was really fun have they fixed that yet no i don't know how to duplicate it though maybe they said that you need to like get take damage from air support um while you know taking it with the shield but that isn't what i did because our enemies don't get air support and i was indoors when it happened when it like first started so i don't know what happened but uh but yeah the game is there are good things about the game um and there's bad things about the game the way the weapons unlock is really weird i won't go into the minutia

but it's quite annoying anybody that plays knows and the snipers and the marksman rifles you can sort of sort of like tarkov and a lot of modern shooters you can tinker with the weapons a lot the attachments and so you can take a bolt action 300 win mag sniper rifle take the stock off so now it's a pistol and then chop the barrel down to like six or eight inches so now it's it's a pistol and so you run around with this pistol that one taps people to the chest with a red dot on it. So you're just so they're very quick scoping with fucking pistol snipers. And there is, of course, a pistol that one taps anyway.

There's a big 500 win mag pistol that this one taps and you can do a will them. So you just there's some crazy shit in the game, but they make you grind really hard to get it, which is good. I only bought the game because i did say i wasn't going to buy it the reason i bought it is because i want to play the extraction mode harkovma and the battle royale mode that's coming out in two weeks and to have all the attachments which are kind of important i think at least i wanted them i wanted the sites and stuff i needed to get the multiplayer and unlock all that shit so i'm doing that do you have everything mostly there are more attachments in this game than

any call of duty i've ever played i haven't played a lot of call of duty the last maybe two years or something like that haven't i did the zombies i do that every year but this has more attachments than maybe tarkov like this is a oh goodness like some of the weapons you like you're like you go through like just the grips that go out on the forehand and it's like, it's like there's 15, there's 15 grips for this. Tarkov does it. They could have simplified it for you. Like,

for example, you want this optic. They're like, ah, this optic doesn't have a mount. This optic goes in this ring mount that goes on top of this adapter that makes it work for that gun. And I'm like, all right,

I'm sure you're right. I'm sure that's how it works. And I'd need to know that if I was at the gun store. But in this game, how about you just put the optic on the gun? You know what happens at the store? They go, you need mounts? Every fucking time you buy a scope at the store, they're like, hey, you need

mounts for that? Yeah, dude. Give me those Leopold. Yeah. Do you want it mounted do you want it sided in like people know so it's it is bullshit in that game they're just fucking thumbing their nose at you're like we're gun guys but you don't know that you need three fucking pieces of shit to get that scope onto that gun yes figuring it out cocksucker like well phrased that's perfect that's it yeah we're gun people. I bet you didn't know. Oh, did you think there was a mount?

There's a ring holder for the object. That holder goes to the mount. That mount goes to the adapter. The adapter goes to the gun. Every group does that to anybody who's trying to get into their good old boys club. If I went to the local golf course

and wore the wrong fucking shorts or something like that, it'd be the same thing. Probably. You get roasted everywhere you get picked on. It doesn't stop. You kids out there that are listening, you're like 17 or 18, you're like, I can't wait until the bullion to stop. When you're 49

and you don't know the sequence of attachments to put a... Why do you forget the word optical? Why do you skate down the road and some kid calls you a nerd? I mean, that's a hilarious story, just being

called a nerd at 49. You have to be just so like, you just don't even know what to say be just so like, whoa. You just don't even know what to say. I'm 35 years out of practice here. We're not going to handle this. Stinky poo poo head. It really just shows you the world doesn't change.

I got him. So yeah, I don't know if I like the game or not. I think what I like is playing with my friends. I think that's what I like about this game it's a really well polished call of duty but it's 70 fucking dollars you know i had a similar experience a couple of cards ago where i i didn't play with i didn't have a friend team like you did but i played with subs and i'm telling you at least a couple of these guys are going to be on the level of the people that you're playing with. And it sucked because I'm very much in public.

Everyone's watching me struggle to do well because I'm playing against the Vavides of this world. Or maybe they're just on the other team because they're watching me from the stream. And it's a tough situation. People are like, ah, you're getting stream sniped. No, I'm getting outplayed

because I'm in skill-based matchmaking and everyone's so good i play on my own i'd have more fun this is the competitive cod in my opinion i think this is the one that they're they're adding a whole ladder uh like a competitive ladder um they're adding a ranked leaderboard um right now you can't even check your kill death ratio i bet it's negative. I bet it is. I would guess. I try to play the objective and not just be on the bottom of the list, try to catch enough flags that I'm not on the bottom, but man, I suck at this game. And I think it's because it is tailored toward better players.

There's a headshot multiplier, a big one. So if you shoot people in the body, it takes four to five bullets. If you shoot them in the head, it takes two. And a lot of the guns, it takes one. A lot of the guns it takes one a lot of the guns one tap ahead that started a couple cods ago and yeah it was like you said you know i used to aim center mass i knew there was a headshot multiplayer player but you know dude better to hit four shots center mass than aim for three at the head and take six shots to get three in the head. Not anymore. Now hit the head. I like the equipment too.

There's some fun shit you can do. There's some, I like goofing around with the javelin. The killstreaks seem cool. I don't really get them, but my team does. So I get to see them. So yeah,

good game. I'm going to be playing some more of it tonight. Probably after this, we're all kind of addicted. I stayed up way too, way too late last night playing. I kept getting back on and cashing in those double xp tokens and then like once you put one in it's it's running like even when you're at a game it's it's burning so you need to play for eight more hours one more hour but i did play for eight hours

or something i played a long fucking time yesterday and got a max level now there's no prestiging nice but there's no prestiging no because there's such an ocean of shit to unlock i mean when you see it you'll want a specific grip you're like oh that's the good one for the gun i like and they'll be like level this weapon to level nine i'm like oh i've never even heard of that weapon you you find it oh it, it's locked. How do I unlock it? Level this weapon to level 15. Oh, well that level's only... Okay, well I'll go... You have this path that you have to go through. This tree

of unlocking shit where you gotta go do a bunch of shit you don't want to do to get the one tiny thing you do want. I wonder what would happen if COD did wipes. Like, you get your shit and then they're like you know what are you getting beat by a guy who has the best grip come whatever january 1st we're doing a wipe and everyone loses all their shit has cod ever done wipes before well cods are like one-offs

you know with a game like tarkov and rust they wipe because they're sort of these server based extraction. Tarkov is an extraction shooter. It makes sense that everybody has acquired all this wealth. Let's get it out of here and start fresh. The journey is almost more important. The squeeze is more important for a lot of people, I think. It is for me.

I quit once I get enough money to... In both games. In Rust, once the base is big enough and our enemies are defeated the fuck are we gonna do like chop trees and kill animals now yeah you lose interest yeah you lose interest when you win that's maybe why games like call of duty that i'm so bad at like drag me in so much because i'm sitting there like i can do better than this you can always get back into magic with me. Yeah. Just to... Yeah, and there is a non-zero chance that I'd do that.

Yeah, I mean, I've never... I'm not big on self-harm, but maybe? Yeah. I can get in and out. Goddamn, you'd still be having fun with it if it wasn't for you and Chiz having that fucking arms race too early. No!

See, I went back and played with you, like, what, last year or the year before or something like that. It's just not a fun game. It's just not a very fun game to me because I don't like that they milk their player base for money continuously. It's like, god damn it.

Can't we just get the... In all the old games, once we had our set, once we had our bat, our ball, and our glove, we were good. Once we had our checkerboard and our pieces, we were good. Now it's like, oh, the new set's out, and we changed all the rules so your old stuff doesn't work anymore. What if they did that with football? Oh, you got the old football?

Shit. The new one's round. They turned it into a hoop. That's a basketball. Speaking of football. Don't bring that Wilson basketball in here. That's against the race. Go ahead. Do you want to talk football?

Oh, no. Isn't Georgia ranked number four now or something? Oh, they're one again? Why would we drop in rank? I want to say you were two at one point but now you're back to one it wasn't because georgia was like yeah it's because the college football playoff it's three they have tennessee and ohio state ahead of georgia yeah do they which and they're all eight no well for now we play tennessee day after tomorrow so we're

gonna figure that one out uh Number one plays number two. Oh, that's interesting. So on the AP at Georgia's first and on the coaches poll, Georgia's first, but in the college football playoff rankings, which I guess is the most important, Georgia's third. We're going to fix that tomorrow. Or if you're listening to this, it's being fixed right now. I hope.

I bet they beat the shit out of them. I don't know how Tennessee got a fucking team. I thought I remember them being pretty shitty last year and kind of like feeling bad for Tennessee. I like that you're like, you know, we're going to whoop up on Tennessee. It's not a problem. We're fixing it right now. Usually you're like, yeah, we don't win this. We don't deserve it.

We're out. We suck if we can't beat Tennessee. I mean, that is how I feel. That's just the reality of all sports. But no, I hope we win. I'm going to watch the game. I do think it's Saturday unless it's a bye week or something. And I think you're aware with five undefeated teams. I don't know that Alabama is going to the playoffs. No, they're not. No, they're not. Especially I hope not. I really hope not.

That would be a great year for Georgia football. Alabama misses the playoffs, and then we take back-to-back titles. That would be insanity, Mo. Back-to-back titles? Did Alabama win back-to-back once, didn't they? Yeah, I think they did. But, I mean, that probably turned them into the dynasty they were for like 10-plus years.

Well, then they skipped a year and won another one or something. Alabama's absurd, and they beat us so many years in a row. This week's game was really, really entertaining. The first half, I think it was 28-3, Georgia over Florida. And then they let a couple of penalties, and Florida, I think, scored 14-3 Georgia over Florida. Then they let a couple of penalties and Florida, I think, scored 14, maybe even 17 unanswered. It was like 28-20. Then Georgia went on and

ran the score up and scored two or three more times and won the game. It's nice to see Florida lose as much as possible. I just hate Florida so much. I hate Florida so much. I mean, you guys destroyed them. Not that anyone cares about NC State, I know,

but we've been ranked all season. I like seeing us in the rankings. Now, with the number next to our name, it's advertising. The next class of people might be like, oh, you know, I could have gone to, I don't know, Michigan State or something, but NC State's been ranked all year. Three times.

Three times in Major League Baseball history, there's been a no-hitter in postseason baseball. 1956, I believe 2017, and last night. Or the night before last. Is more than one win if it's a no-hitter?

It's still just one loss. It's just one loss okay yeah but i'll be yeah yeah but we'll remember this one fucking forever like this is the one that like you know how it is mentioned that one from 56 and 2017 there's also that one from 2022 those phillies forever it won't be remembered if the phillies the next two games. I don't know what happened in 56 and 17, but I know they got no-no. Or not no-no, they got no-hitter. I remember that Philadelphia had a no-run game in Atlanta not long ago,

and then we came back and spanked them like the misbehaving child that they were. It was a no-hitter. It was a no-hitter. Yeah, I'm just saying, no-hitter, no runs. They're comparable. No-hitting. That's like when you charge up. They're saving their strength.

That's what happened last time. Yeah, they're tanking damage. Let you get all tuckered out scoring all them runs on us tonight. Wait till tomorrow. In fairness to the Phillies, the game before they got shut out or no hit is what it's called in almost historic fashion. They broke another record

and hit five home runs in one World Series game, which I think is only like, I think that's like the record tied for the record. Maybe it was like a five or six run deficit. They came back from it was

it was pretty wild. No, it's been a good series. It's also one of the lowest watch series in modern history because nobody fucking cares. Everybody hates the Astros except for Astros fans. And no one knew Philly had a team. Yeah, nobody.

Philly fans can't afford cable, so they're not watching. I saw someone on Twitter make this joke, and it made me laugh, where they're like, the Phillies are that meme where it's like, you can't stop me. I don't know how to read. Like, that sign can't stop me. I don't know how to read. Because they're just powering through and they just keep winning and now they're in the

World Series. I hope Philly wins the next two. Apparently the Astros very much disliked for cheating, but according to that guy's video that I watched, baseball's not real. Everybody's cheating. Not like that, though. That was crazy.

That is a funny thing to me, though. Like stealing signs, that's okay. Yes. Managers looking, stealing signs, that's okay. Managers looking through optics, stealing signs, that's okay. The bank trash can lids to tell people the signs. Whoa. Oh, my stars and gardens. More than that. Optics stealing signs, that's okay. The bank trash can lids to tell people the signs. Whoa! Oh, my stars and garnets.

More than that. Are you telling me they went woppa, woppa, woppa on a trash can lid? Yeah. That's against the rules, you know? You missed the part. You can't do that. Go ahead. Tell me.

I prefer it my way. The algorithm that broke the code of the signs and translated to what the pitch was going to be. It was not like a guy was out there, ah, fastball it is, fastball. They're like feeding it into a computer and it's like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Because we're in the 50s now. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

And the guy goes, hold on, this dot matrix printer isn't giving us the results fast enough. No. No, I Actually, a YouTuber made a sign-stealing app. Do you remember that? I don't remember that, but that's cool. It might have been smarter every day,

but I'm not positive. I tell anybody who'll listen that Richard Ryan was dropping bombs out of drones 12, 13 years ago, and his explode in the air because they're hitting the ground with LIDAR, I think. He made his own

munitions. I remember when he made that and thinking, don't do that. Have you been following the Ukraine war much? Of course, all day every day. It's my favorite thing. I have not. Is Kirsten abandoned?

Kirsten? Okay, I'm sorry. I learned too I have not. Is Kirsten abandoned? I learned too much by reading. I read that it was abandoned. Have the Ukrainians come in and taken it back? I don't know what the status is. What's the name of that site that shows the map? What was that?

Google Earth. No, the board map. No, no, trust of you have you ever seen it y'all have y'all heard of google earth i have heard like i just didn't keep zooming the scroll wheel you know how you let you roll it and all the way down to your house it's crazy it's live uamap.com i'm most positive that's the one you're looking for yes it was the one you sent earlier i thought this was so neat sorry yeah anyway yeah more going on it's crazy the footage i see it on reddit every day i said i'm sure i'm being infiltrated with propaganda

for all i know some of the footage i'm excited about is from Crimea or something. No. See, that's the thing. They're being really good about that. I watched a couple of YouTubers and they were going through... They have an app that they use to verify the stats. They're keeping their own tally of vehicles

captured and stuff. And he broke down how the app works. He's like, you upload a picture of this thing and and we geolocate this and then we went over here and we looked who else is in that area ah this guy also took a picture near that geotag and he's from the north so up and there's that landmark again yep that is definitely russian hardware that's been destroyed there and like they really go through a lot of effort to verify it with photographic evidence, which is better than the

propaganda of, like, yeah, we've killed 10 million Russians at least so far. They're piling them up for sandbags. I agree. Although I have seen them clearing dead Russians out of the street, and it's a mess. I see heads in the streets. It's medieval over there.

You guys are following this. From the last time I looked at this map, it looks like there's more red. Red being the Russian areas captured. Less. I don't think they're taking any area back. So the only place they're making

Oh, that's why. They have a bunch of light red in Russia. That's not even Ukraineraine i don't know okay i watched this uh this guy who's like former army or something he breaks it down really well the map itself like the nitty-gritty map that you that see your everyday infantryman or something close to that shaved head oh i think i know him white guy that's not who i'm going not a great camera yeah he anyway he's pretty good. And what was he talking about?

Oh, he was talking about the lines, how the Wagner Group was making these tiny games. He's like, they're bragging about their games. They're even making fun of the regular Russian army that doesn't have the equipment that the Wagner Group has. Wagner Group moved 15 feet yesterday. They moved five the day before. At this rate, they'll be at the town we're so worried about sometime around summer. Who is the Wagner Group?

Is that Russia's? It's like their private military. So they do things a little weird, a little different. It doesn't seem fair to compare them to Blackwater, who was kind of this fringe group that was kind of tolerated. It's closer to a branch of their actual military, but privatized. And those are the guys who are recruiting, again, propaganda, who knows, but seemingly from prisons and from lots of scary places, just anyone who will pick up a gun and take some money to go kill Ukrainians,

I guess. Or pretend to. Because a lot of them have surrendered. It's so fascinating to see something big happen in our time. I've been saying this for years. I want to see a big thing happen. Well, here we go. We got almost World War III. Almost. Hopefully not.

Yeah, hopefully. Yeah, why don't you want World War III? Nukes are very scary. Again, Kyle, remember. Have you ever watched those videos where they're like, if a nuke goes off yeah hopefully yeah why don't you want world war three nukes are very scary again again and kyle remember have you ever watched those videos where they're like if a nuke goes off here it destroys all the food and without the food here it puts pressure on food here and then and i watched that video on youtube and i'm like god damn this guy's infographics are spooking me i've never seen that video i know taylor seems scared just he's never beaten cancer yeah i know look when you've looked death right in the

eye literally uh you become a real man okay i mean it makes you comfortable with the prospect of total nuclear annihilation absolutely absolutely yeah i'm comfortable with it now i'm prepared for it you know what I think I'll be just fine. You'll be a ghoul. You'll be one of those. Your class will be someone who gets power from the radiation. Exactly. You know, when I think about which guy I want to be in Left 4 Dead,

Kyle, maybe Smoker. Maybe Smoker. I don't know. Me, fuck, who would I be? Probably a Charger. I don't know who to charge. Oh, Left 4 Dead. Yeah, dead yeah left for dead okay i didn't play that very much i don't you wouldn't want to be a game i compared left for i told somebody the

other day like i was like you know like dark tide's like a way better left for that they're like sacrilege i'm like your game is like 20 years old dude like you can't even aim down sights it's all spray from the hip. You can't with the sniper. Oh, good. Good. We'd be no scoping otherwise. Left 4 Dead is a game that is fun because you're having fun playing with your friends.

You hop in and play alone. It's just not very good. It's just so simple. I want, Taylor, I want you to download, first apply for access and then download the alpha access nonsense for a game called Dark and Darker. Dark and Darker.

It's not available right now. My understanding is we can't play it right now. They're analyzing their most recent play test, which was a couple days. A bunch of Twitch guys did it. Bastille did it. Landmark did it. A bunch of the guys who guys did it still he did it uh landmark did it bunch of the guys who were in a lot of the tarkov and slash what i'll call what is being called

extraction shooters the ones like tarkov marauders um there's a few others that are bouncing off my head right now i can't i can't remember but the ones where you go in you get your shit you get out you sell it you buy better shit to go in with. And you repeat that cycle essentially. This is that mixed with Dungeons and Dragons. So we're going in with like a, we got a wizard. We got like a knight and he's got a, one guy's got a sword.

One's got a staff. He's going to hit you with that, that healing aura. And you're going to run in and try out a wreck house. And then one guy's in the, in the, in the, you know, hiding with a bow.

It, it looked interesting you like ai there's there's pve and pvp of course and the way they get around the fact that i i don't like more dallas combat like like sword combat all the um there's so much parrying and block is that called more dallas combat no there's a game called moreordhau oh okay okay I never heard that and Chivalry they're like medieval combat games with swords it's difficult

to like get that combat down in my opinion this game's combat it seems like what they did is they made everything slow so your movement speed is about like in Tarkov when your legs are broken and when you swing an axe it's like, here it comes, motherfucker!

So now you can actually block and parry and step out of the way of things because they're coming at the speed of sound. Smell, I mean. But they're not... But basically it's a way to not be like Skyrim where you can just spam the same attack over and over.

Because there gets to a point with Skyrim where it's like, oh, I'm just, I'm wasting time by blocking. And every game has got a sword pretty much that's, a lot of games that have swords it's just spam, you know. To get around that, it looks like they slowed things down. I watched some of the video you sent me.

It looks fun. It looks like Skyrim together except newer and it just watching like a little bit of the combat like there were some hard enemies that like i wouldn't have guessed were hard based on the people playing like it was just like one ghoul like the equivalent i assume of what one bandit would be in skyrim where like you see a regular bandit and like they come screaming at you but these guys like actually pack a punch like they'll actually you know stab you and the guy's like oh i got stabbed oh shield like slowly

raising up like yeah getting ready to swing with the slow sword oh i can't change to parry in the middle so i'll take damage that part looks a little like frustrating because i already can see i'm like i'm gonna be an archer i'm gonna struggle immensely with this good yeah yeah i thought the same thing i'm like i'm gonna be arch our whole to be an archer. I'm going to struggle immensely with this. Good. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I'm like, I'm going to be arch. Our whole team will be archers. Shoot him. Yeah, it looks fun to me. I look forward to it.

And of course, the thing that appeals to me is it's an extraction shooter. It's Tarkov style. So you're in there taking everybody's rubies and emeralds and gold pouches. Then you get out and buy a better bow with some sharper arrows and a slicker hood or whatever. I like the idea of a team full of archers. In my head, I'm trying to figure out the meta. Look to your left and look to your right. Which one of them

is bait? You don't know. It's you. That's how it works. That's going to be fun in Darktide as well, running weird combinations of different team makeups. All Ogryns will be fun in Darktide as well, running weird combinations of our different team makeups. All Ogrens will be fun. Just a bunch of just running around slapping people, those giant characters.

I can't wait for that game to come out for real and actually have all the features. It's going to be a bunch of fun. It's end of the month. End of the month? That's not far. That's supposed to be end of the month. I guess they're going to be. They're nailed in at this point. There's no more delaying but that competes with dark tide

i was talking about dark time no we're talking about dark oh i thought you were talking about dark and darker dark and darker is more of like a side game like i'm thinking like like dark tide's what i think i'll put a lot of time into and grind until i've got my like good weapons oh zach says vermentide's free now if anybody wants to get into the swing of what dark tide is like go play vermentide too get it get it and play it and you'll you'll have a real good idea of what dark tide is like and even if you've never played it give it if it's free give it a go it's a bunch of sick game such a good game we played the other day yeah oh you play the old one the other day yeah yeah we were we were trying to

find the problem is we've got so yeah we were we were trying to find the problem is we've got so many people that want to play games in the discord that it's like oh well only four people gonna be at a party this game well i'll just get off this game well now it's six people what are there 12 of you in here that want to play and like nobody wants to break off and be on like the team that isn't playing with kyle i guess and now we're last night we just broke off and played private Match Call of Duty, and that was honestly a tremendous amount of fun. We played Private Match Call of Duty because in there, everything's

unlocked, and you can make silly setups and guns. It was interesting to see who was best when we played Free For All. That was a lot of fun. A guy called Robot Unicorn, I believe. He was really good, huh? I like Apex Legends.

I didn't even play Apex Legends. But if I had my facts right, all these games were four-person Battle Royales. Played four-person teams. Apex comes along and it's three. And every team was forced to identify who their least favorite friend was. And it just reminded me of your story. It wasn't like that. It was like we were just kind of like

first of all that sucks because we you know there's i got three guys for sure that i really want to play with all the time like i like it the best yeah the all right so it happened i'll just tell this sad little story so last last night we finished our private match. We did it for like an hour and a half, two hours. You know, we did, we had several of them. Everybody got play.

And I was like, all right, let's play some, uh, domination. Now there's like 12, 13 guys in there, you know?

I'm like, so, um, and I start, I let them awkwardly try to figure out who's going to play with me. I don't say anything. And so it gets real awkward, right? They're like, well, you know, if this room opens up, I'd like to play.

And somebody's like, hey, I'm in. And I'm like, no, you're not. And it's going. And finally, I'm like, guys, clearly I want Vavity and Unicorn and Middy and Dirty. That's obviously who I want i'm sorry everybody but good day we just had tryouts tryouts you're basically picking your your pallbearers for the game we're gonna carry me they they carry me so goddamn hard when you watch like final kill cams and stuff it's never some guy prone like no it's poverty like running up a wall like he's in the matrix and like shooting two guys with

three pistols somehow it's always something crazy have you got any good wall running no all that i'm just making all that nonsense okay but it's always something impressive have you gotten any good end of the kill cam any any no scopes look you asked so i'm gonna link it i wasn't going to show it because i feel like everybody celebrated so much that it's cringy i want you to know they're celebrating not to kiss my ass because these are my actual close friends like people that i know in real life so don't take that from this they're they're freaking out because i'm so bad at the game. Okay, let's watch it. I want that to be clear.

I watched it twice and I was like, people are going to think that they're pumping me up because they're kissing my ass. They're pumping me up and freaking out because I'm so goddamn bad at the game that this is the best clip I got that night playing Surge.

I'm waiting. I don't even want to watch it Here it is. I'll let Zack see it and make sure there's volume on Turn it louder like Tila from your spawn. I hear him like in there. Oh my god the bomb splatter. Yeah He's in the middle now. I bought the door on purpose mid mid now god damn ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhinnnnnnnnnn Damn! Yo, get the shit on! God damn! Oh, man. Even AdvecDirty was like, just to be clear, Kyle, it wasn't that crazy. I'm really happy for you.

No, I know. I appreciate it. That doesn't happen much. I usually miss that shot, and then they embarrass me. Usually they flick something at me that sets sets me on fire and then I burn up in front of them. But no, I killed them all that time, so that was good. And you even did the spinning while you do the bomb? Like old school? Of course.

I wasn't scummy enough to drop it over and over or anything like that. Oh, that was the worst. I never really played search because i wasn't good enough it was my main thing uh so it was not dropping the bomb we dropped ninja defuses fucking with them with the bomb all of the glitches where you like held the trigger and he would throw the fake c4 on a on a plant all the nades where you look straight up on backlot and stuff, and just blow them up on the bomb site

on audio cues, all that stuff. We played so much search. In search, you don't have to be such a good shot. You can just outplay people. You can plant that bomb and run away. And if you're just better at that game, the, hey, that takes six and a half seconds

to defuse. You got half seconds to diffuse you got 25 seconds to do it let's go i'm gonna wound you a little runaway dude i don't care if i kill you or not like i'm just gonna like fuck with you and like you know run my time up i always enjoyed that game and like i really enjoyed like having my team watch me and trying to clutch that's all that actually makes the game fun because call of duty deaths and lives mean so little that's true i mean i don't think of ninja defusing is like that was never seen as like a poor sport or like bad spirit like that was just the smartest thing to do was like if they start walking away and they don't turn around to confirm nobody was looking up their asshole to grab it right like in tennis

every once in a while the between the legs shot actually is the best move. You were running back there. All you could get off was a between the legs return. It's amazing and badass. Well, every so often, the ninja defuse is the move to make. Because I'm playing COD, I'm watching... I'm one of the Call of Duty YouTubers. There's a knife Call of Duty YouTuber who's very successful.

And I'm like, man... Well, yeah, if you're invincible'm like, man, well, yeah, if you're invincible, no, no, no, no, no,

like his whole channel, like every year is him stabbing people in call of duty. And he's very successful. And I'm like, how did blade mess this up? Like the gig was his, the gig was his show up every year and keep stabbing. He's commentating was so...

He had this series called Sunday Night Chill or something. And he just had this casual, relaxed... I don't know. He was okay. It was a good vibe. But it didn't last. Yeah, I wonder what he's up to now. There's a channel called These Knives Only. It says on my channel i mainly post

call of duty content and he's stabbing people 1.45 million subs damn i guarantee we all we were around this guy was not there when when only he's replayed was doing it yeah he joined in february of 14 so like the iron was still hot by the time like the blade stopped i suppose or it could be that this guy's like just unbelievably fucking good like because you know you're right blade was always carried by like everyone enjoying his his commentaries back in the day where they you know he was successful with the knife too i don't know about the recent games but there was a time when like the knife style gameplay was it seemed like a huge deficit and it was in a lot of ways but if you work the map correctly it wasn't as big a deficit as it seemed you know

he was saying like i often do better knifing than i do shooting yeah you learn to navigate the map so the people don't have long lines of sight on you you keep it indoors and you dress your guy up to like tack knife stab quickly and stuff you win everything indoors close quarters fight knives were the best weapon if you're that close in cod so yeah but like the videos i'd watch of someone dominating with the like i didn't actually ever really watch blades content ever um but like every once in a while i'd see like an xcal video because he would just be like knife only on shipment 102 and three and i'm like how like how on earth are you doing and then you watch it air support yeah he's one of those guys where you're just like oh like it's like when you

want like i i've been getting into it's funny, Kyle's talking about, everyone just wants to play games in the Discord. Try my trick of playing games no one wants to play. No one wants to play Magic with me. The other night, there were like a dozen people in there. I'm like, does anyone want to play Age of Empires II Definitive Edition? The remake of that game that we all know and love from 2001. The RTS, the real-time strategy where you build an economy and an army and you fight people. It's a bunch of fun.

And, of course, no one wanted to play. Yeah, so if Kyle's having – if everyone – if you get all these games, anyone in the Discord, Age of Empires II, Magic the Gathering. You'll never have to beg to be in a game, ever. I'll be the one begging. I'll be the one going, do magic with me and you'll be sitting there going oh this fucking podcast guy let's do i just like listen to his podcast he's badgering me about playing some big card game with him on the internet it's the situation that it'll be so yeah i'll be bothering you guys i i'm gonna i'm gonna mimic your technique. Who wants to play Minesweeper?

Who wants to be Woody? That's a single player game. Who's in? I just watch you play. That's it. I love that game. Age of Empires 2 is so fun. Yes, that was Minesweeper. Were you ever in... I guess you guys were ever in...

Not that game specifically, but real-time strategy like Top Down. Did you ever get into that, Woody? Stuff like Company of Heroes, Age of Empires, Red Alert. Those are the biggest. StarCraft. StarCraft. None of those games, no.

I played Civilizations a little bit. Okay. Yeah, that's definitely different. It sort of looked from the top. Because it's turn-based. Yeah. And turn-based can be fun too sieve would have been like kyle got me into sieve probably like six years ago for the i haven't played in probably five years but i really enjoyed sieve five and if

they could have made that game so it didn't take 12 14 hours it would be infinitely. If they were a faster mode to do it. That in combination, a lot of times in Civ, you lose slowly. It is clear. The writing is on the wall. And it's like, look, do I seriously need to lose this for the next four hours to be a good sport?

That's a lot of sportsmanship. Why not just tip over my king and admit you bested me? Yeah, I agree with you. I don't do that in games. I don't just stick around if the writing's on the wall. If you're voted, the rules usually in that NQ group is they would vote you irrelevant. You would ask to be voted irrelevant to the outcome of the game, and the other players would vote. But if they didn't all

vote and agree that you're irrelevant and you left, then they'd just kick you out of the game and the other players would vote but if they didn't all vote and agree that you're irrelevant you left then they just kick you out of the nq group like yeah this guy quits he's not part of the no quitter group he quits were you in the no quitter group of course you would sit there for hours losing and just until i was irrelevant you know like like like i i still had a chance. And sometimes you'd come up from behind and win. If two people are going at it and one of them makes a mistake, you could build your defenses up and take off to space or do something. You can come from behind. If you're truly irrelevant, they'll be like, yeah, dude.

What are those, knights? Oh, no. Please tell me that's a renaissance fair you built. Oh, no. Yeah, you're irrelevant. They'll let you out. They don't make you sit there for hours and hours when clearly you're not going to win. What was...

You mentioned the skill-based matchmaking. I know people are fighting a shit ton over that. Do you care either way? Oh, yeah. the games are awful it's sweaty all the time it's always as hard as you get you never run into knuckleheads anymore that guy who'd like i don't know like two guys are standing next to each other sniping right and you kill both of them now as soon as you shoot that first one it's like if you and i were

standing there playing i heard that so i'm gonna whip around and try to get you real quick and like like they whip around like you're playing it's real players who know what they're doing like there's no there's no noob in the back fixing the settings there's nobody like just goofing off like everybody's trying because they've got high win loss ratios and ratios and high kill-death ratios. And the worst part is when we begin the night, I've got like 12 to 16 ping to the server. But as the whatever detects how good we are, how good our party is, they keep having to search further and further from us

to find people who are of equal skill according to them. So now the ping is like 120. It's like, you're connecting me to some asshole across the country because he's the only one playing right now who's of equal skill according to you. And you could have thrown me in there with some noobs and I could have had a great time

and they could have had a learning experience. It should, like, it's wild to me. They could have learned they suck. I don't really care either way about the skill-based matchmaking but they're like that anything at all would in matchmaking would supersede your connection seems ridiculous like yeah that should be the the primo thing you're going for put it with people where you have a great connection like no i agree that's the argument that's the that that that is

the argument but they're gonna do what they're going to do, and I'm going to keep playing the game, so it's whatever. When I play by myself, I have a ball. Like, when I go and play, because I'm so bad, right? So I jump in, like, a giant mode like Invasion. I don't know how many players are in there. I think it might be 20 humans versus 20 humans, and then I don't even know how many bots on either side. So it's just a shit show with vehicles and tanks and stuff.

And so I go in there to get weapon XP. You have to get XP for each weapon. If you've got an AK, you take a shitty gun that you don't want to use, then you get into the tank. Every kill with the tank counts as XP for that gun. You're just blowing up bots

and blowing up helicopters with a tank and getting tons of XP. When there's a crutch like that in the game, there's no reason for them to have skill-based matchmaking and domination. Like, let me pwn some noobs. The noobs can jump in Invasion and shoot bots and get tons of XP. It's so easy in there. That makes sense to me.

Yeah, it's just like, if I were into COD, I'm not going to buy COD for now because I'm going to get the new Vermintide. But if I did buy it and like every third game, because I would be playing with the people in the Discord too. I'd be doing the same thing. I would be, because I guarantee, however bad you are at COD, I'm worse. Much worse.

And it would be no, no fun for me at all. Especially if like you're lagging. That's just retarded. You'll be good on controller. That's the other thing. So this is cross-platform. We're playing against PlayStation and Xbox, guys. Batteries getting low. I was so surprised that

most of the time they hold their own. I was like, man. In my experience, I know me on a keyboard and mouse, shit's on me on a controller. It's just so much clumsier. But when I'm playing COD, it's like, damn, these controller guys are good. It's the auto-a controller because it's just so much clumsier but when i'm playing cod it's like damn these controller guys are good it's the auto aim they've got so much auto aim when they tinker with their settings that they can just strafe like use the left thumb stick

and the gun will like lock on to the enemy and start moving around okay i'm good with that i like that so like a strong auto aim to help me compete with the pc guys i'll just buy it on xbox to get it then if i do get it yeah you should definitely get on xbox if you get it um because i think one of the guys i'm playing with is on xbox that may be why it's so fucking good because the auto aim is look i i don't know that's what everybody's saying i've seen videos where they demonstrate what i'm just describing where they strafe is a gun locks on is there auto aim on pc or no no we're just clicking on shit like raw if you you know it's it's um there's no auto aim but there's a ton of it for playstation and xbox so yeah if you're gonna get it definitely get it on xbox i guess that's fair

like because like it's easier to click on someone than direct with the thumbsticks, right? Yeah, I mean, I guess. I don't know. I'm just going that PC gamers are always better, usually. Not this time. They've definitely given the console guys enough of an advantage that it's difficult. It's super hard to balance.

Yep. Yeah. We should just keep them separate. Separate but equal. Like everything else. Solid policy. Wait, up until now, I thought that all the PC guys fucking loved cross-platform console kids. Right?

As long as they don't... There's too much auto-aim in this one. There's usually not this much auto-aim. It's become a meme. I don't know if I understand it. I saw a guy stay on target as the target walked around and he apparently wasn't touching the aim there's a video on reddit as i was just describing you can use the left thumb stick and strafe and the gun will stay on the target as you move left and right the gun will

do right thumb stick shit by itself it's like come on like i'm over here trying to click on stuff and i'm not very good at it and i'm like like your game's playing itself for you oh and i'll say this here's another thing that's great about cod again i don't know what happened people are mean again and racist oh my i've been called some horrific things the last couple of nights not just mostly my party but i get singled out occasionally some mean shit that's called duty it's what that's what war is hell yeah in between rounds like like it's like what happened gotta watch the bomb site bob and he's gotta he's screaming you gotta watch the bomb you gotta watch the bomb what happened and they're getting mad and then maybe they went around and like what happened dirty what happened dirty because that's how his name's spelled it's like der and then the word tea like you drink and then mocking him and then dirty's like we shouldn't talk shit to these guys we may have fucked up

here guys they turned their effort up to 11. Yeah. Everybody's trying to unlock their guns because of all those hoops you got to jump through. But then people start trying hard. It's a whole thing. We had a good time, though. Good Call of Duty-ish. I'm just awful at it.

Good Call of Duty, though. I was watching. I got suggested this YouTube video from a guy. Do you know who Asmongold is? He's like a very big Twitch streamer, YouTube guy. He's like World of Warcraft. Like when I say big streamer, like multi, multi-millionaire, owns company, like wildly successful streamer. And I got suggested a video from him and

i i kind of knew of him but they just kind of heard the name i got suggested a video from him that was like him standing in this little kind of crappy kitchen you know his kitchen and it was like how i cook my two dollar steaks and it had millions of views and so i'm like what the fuck's going and so i watched i gotta tell you i don't care about world of warcraft at all i was transfixed on this guy's videos for probably two hours i watched i watched the and he comes off like not as a guy who's doing like a goofy character or anything he comes off very genuine very sincere and he's just kind of an oddball and he was like like i said multi multi multi-millionaire and he's in a kitchen smaller

than this third bedroom i have like a tiny little kitchen like huge taylor and he just giant hundred acres and he was like i'm gonna show you guys how i make my steak you know like the skirt steak that you can buy like four tiny strips for like six seven bucks he pulls out a box of that and he's like this here this is seven dollars and thirty cents and i got four steaks in here and they're just thin pieces of like strip steak and he takes you through how he cooks it and he's like i put butter in the pan you know i've never actually i don't actually know why you put butter in the pan but i've seen other people do it and so he does that he talks about the spices he uses on it which of course is a steak seasoning mix and the second he said and then i put lemon pepper on it i was like

so this guy just picked spices because like like it's very common like lemon pepper is not for steak it's for chicken and poultry so when he was like i use steak seasoning and lemon uh lemon chicken lemon pepper and like he makes it and as he's like making it he's like like telling stories in such a funny way he's like and i use i got about 19 pans here at the house and i'm gonna use this uh now all every pan is dirty the 20th pan's dirty and i gotta scrub the 20th pan i fucking hate making and he's like and this last pan look the handle's barely holding on it's easy to screw it back in but the screwdriver's in the fucking garage like it's like all very achievable things and i'm just i i am i'm cracking up at it i'm dying at how funny this is and he's like and what do you have with your steak a potato you grab your

potato you stab the shit out of it eight minutes in the microwave i thought it i thought it would be bad too it's not bad and he i shit you not he takes the meal and he shows you it's a well done piece of strip steak and he's like see this meal i i have never gotten sick after this. And like when someone shows you the food they're eating and they lead off with like, I've never gotten sick. It's such a fun. It was like I was cracking up and he like he was talking in the video like like the reason he doesn't want a better steak. He's like, I like this. Like I could afford whatever I want.

I like this little area. I am. I'm happy with my life. I enjoy simple things. And I honestly have a tremendous amount of respect for that yeah but like just and then i watched then i just got sucked in and i watched another video of his where he talked about not showering for six weeks at a time in like the most honest like analytical way where he was like i haven't showered in six weeks and he was like I have a theory like around three weeks.

I start I feel like I started to get cleaner again. Like my body released enzymes that ate the filth. And then he sat there for a second was like, but I'm almost positive that's not true. I was I was dying laughing because and he was just saying it like analytically like, yeah, I just didn't want to shower. There was no reason for me. I didn't shower. The, the no showering thing is always,

are you guys the same way with like, I really enjoy showering. It wakes me up. I feel clean. If I'm not going anywhere all day and I'm staying home, I'm still going to shower because I enjoy it. Like, yeah,

it feels nice. It has, it's been a long time since I skipped a shower man like come on like like if you're working out you're gonna be sweaty but but like even if you're not like what i will do sometimes is not shower till later like today's a good example um i got up we cleaned we washed two motorcycles and then we had lunch then we ran out to a store and then i hit the gym and then i showered and then that's not day, but sometimes like, oh, shit, I didn't shower until like 5 p.m. today. Yeah, but you're still showering. You're getting all the sweat and

the filth. Six weeks. Six weeks. We didn't say six days. Yeah, six weeks. I don't think any of us would come out of a six week Experience smelling like daisies But I know Your body releases enzymes I was listening to that and I'm like I think my car has done this though I think I've had so much filth on my truck It can't

It can't maintain That thickness of filth Sometimes it recesses Yeah it's like Jim Gaffigan's old joke where he's like yeah i'm getting fat but i'm just gonna eat my way through to the other side where he just just keeps eating your way through the fatness but how that worked yeah so that guy asmongold super those videos where i was just transfixed just watching him does he also have a really messy these does he also have like a really messy room with yes everywhere yes i watched a video of him like

exploring his his like room and showing it like the the sheer honesty this guy shows and just like showing it like his filthy room or talking about not showering like i respect like it it just blew my mind i couldn't stop watching the video like i did i'd get suggested mostly world of warcraft stuff but And I'm like, no, like I want to see like him talking about his life or like, he has a video called like why I enjoy a simple life. And I watched that whole thing.

It was really, you know, he's like, I mean, obviously he's not like a Warren Buffett guy, but you know, those rich guys who were like, you know,

I don't need anything. I'm happy. And then they like drive away in a Mercedes and they have a hot tub and a spa and a four-story house. This guy is not memeing. He sincerely, seemingly just doesn't want anything more. Just solid with what he has.

It sounds like he might be... There's something wrong with him. Oh, like depressed or something? Because he said, even in the video, the six weeks no showering, he was like, yeah, I'm happy. I'm not depressed. I'm not doing this because I'm depressed. Yeah, nobody goes six weeks without bathing, and

that's not a normal person. I don't care. That doesn't seem very typical. He said that. He endeared me again when he was like, and let me say, guys, you don't want to live like me. I'm an animal. He said, people look at my life and they say they're jealous of me they're jealous of streaming don't be jealous of me i live like a people say

treat your body like a temple i treat it like a zoo you know he talks about what he eats apparently he eats his two dollar steaks like four or five times a week and other than that it's like sheerly fast food it's i'm transfixed how's his body is he pretty fit looking dude he's like a not not fit but he's like a like a skinny fat kind of guy like he's like a tall like probably i think he's like six three like tall dude but not not fat kyle have you discovered just pearly things yet i don't know what that is okay so just pearly things is a youtuber i think her name is pearl or her online handle is pearl and uh she's this red-pilled woman and it's kind of fun to hear her

like defend guys and put down women as a woman it adds to it and and she would probably not like that description i just put, but I just watched a short where she's like, life is hard for guys. It's hard. Back in the 1950s, do you think women said six feet, six inches, six figures? No.

They were like, Joe down the block, the plumber, that'd be a great husband. I hope I can land him. Now, small percentage of guys gets all the girls. Sure. If you're a good looking guy making six figures over six foot the world is your oyster but for most guys you're fucked and and this is like the kind of stuff that she puts out there all the time anyway youtube has figured out that i click on her stuff and now i'm just getting fed red pill poison all the time in my head you guys are so funny with your red pill channels like you keep getting sucked in

dude i can't stop they're good look the red team has the best videos the best memes like like like they're gonna win the best memes for sure they're gonna win uh this the midterms is just the beginning this supreme court thing is is so huge like they're looking at affirmative action um i i think it's gonna go down like like like just they convinced me that i was like what the fuck are we doing every so often i like a little red swing you know they have their points fix this and that and then swing back the other way. You're a Ted Cruz man, right?

Yeah. I'm huge on Ted Cruz. He's really a hero. A personal hero of yours. Yeah. That's who I aspire to be. Love Ted Cruz. Almost as much as Marco Rubio.

Change my whole diet to fast food so I can just mimic the look. He's a good man. He's a good man. He's well-spoken. He is well-spoken. And he's fat. You're both right. I think there's going to be a big red swing. And that's, look, I think I want the legal wheat.

That's important for me. I would like some legal wheat. Although, I mean, we got our wonky wheat products here, and those seemingly are legal weed. That's important for me. I would like some legal weed. Although, we got our wonky weed products here, and those seemingly are legal enough. Maybe a red weed will be just fine, because that affirmative action and the other stuff that they're going after with the Supreme Court,

I'm behind all of that. Every step of the way. Even the abortion thing, I'm pro-choice, but listening to the arguments like the specifics of what they were talking about i'll i agree with everything i was like okay well that doesn't make any sense so you got to find a different way to do it um i think there's gonna be a big swing i think trump i still think trump's gonna win

i think that he might he's gonna take the house for sure Takes the Senate It could get scary I love alternate universes I love parallel Universes and all the This one exists this universe exists It's exactly like ours There's gonna be a branch though And this branch universe The house the senate

The presidency and Trump takes over For the rest of his life there's a universe where that Happens there's a lot of them where that life. There's a universe where that happens. There's a lot of them where that happens. And there's a universe where it goes well. It might be this one, just so you know. And it wouldn't be that far-fetched, would it? And here's why I say that.

He went very conceivable that he wins the House, the Senate, and the presidency. That's, I mean, 50-50 maybe even. But for him to make make himself emperor trump what if they try to go after him with some criminal charges and they're trying to show up at the white house and arrest donald trump if they try to do that then his then his reaction could be something as it could be equally as wild and and maybe he wants to take power and make sure nothing like that can happen maybe we need maybe we need to redefine this presidency thing. I think we should.

What was it? A triumvirate? Elections have consequences. Why don't we do the triumvirate? Your idea, Kyle. No, Donald Trump is all we need. He's at least three men's worth of leadership. Yeah, on a bad day. When he's been eating a lot we'll see i don't think donald trump does well in re-election i think the

idea of donald trump is better than the reality the more you put a mic in front of this guy the less palatable he'll seem i think desantis might be the next president i'd like watching desantis speak yeah i would too, but I can't vote, so it doesn't matter. Who else is in the mix? I'm predicting him over Trump. I am too. He makes more sense to me.

I don't think he makes more sense to the masses. Trump has $100 million in a built-in fan base, so I'd give him the edge there. Yeah, I think the polls last time, I only know because woody talked about it where you said trump was a lot higher up than desantis yeah i mean i was wrong last time or last two times like it there have been a few coronation ceremonies in my lifetime one was hillary clinton over obama one was jeb bush uh six years ago. I'm trying to think.

The guy that yelled, yeah, with the guttural scream. He was leading in the primary. Howard Dean. He's not a great example, but there have been a couple times in my life where like, oh, this guy is obviously about to win the nomination. And then they don't.

It seemed like Mitt Romney was always the guy. Ross Perot. No, no. These weren't people that were like obviously going to win the nomination and then they don't it seemed like mitt romney was always ross perot no no these weren't people that were like obviously going to win ross pro outsider it's like every expert understands that hillary is going to destroy obama right that's just a thing that we knew every expert understood that jeb bush had a giant lead and this goofy carnival barker donald trump doesn't stand a realistic chance against him and then this is why we count the votes right you know he did beat him this time around you know all these experts it's donald trump's coronation ceremony he's obviously going to win the republican nomination but i think he won't what you have i think i think

um i don't think they'll want him to but i kind of like they didn't want him to in 2016, but I think he'll be so much more popular, there's a good chance. The 2016 primaries were so fucking entertaining because I think what you had there was all of Donald Trump's competition. They had rules. Like, oh, he says this, you say that. Never go here. Never say anything like that.

Do not say these words. And then Donald trump goes up there and he puts them in a corner and the guy's like i i'm not allowed to fight back i have to sit here and sweat while i get bullied on national television right now by another grown-ass man because i don't know if it works i do i'm sorry people are laughing it doesn't work twice though if donald trump goes up there and calls somebody little or somebody else liar. Six years ago, we were like, oh, my God, I can't believe it. This time around, I don't think that happens.

Depends what he calls. I mean, he'll call him something different this time, right? I don't know. He started recycling him a lot last time. I think Trump, the idea, the memory, the concept has always been better than the reality, which is why I'm betting against him. There's montages of the greatness that have been suppressed by the left. Yeah, right, right.

They're still there if you know what's up. Isn't that interesting? It's so hard to find the Trump train videos. They never get recommended. You've got to dig and dig and dig. But, but like, I don't know. There's definitely a lot of, Oh,

I want to talk about Elon Musk. I was going, I was going to talk about like Facebook being weird with what they, they let you see and don't let you see. But Elon Musk has, I saw one thing that said he had people working weekends and like overtime and stuff. And I don't know what to believe.

I hear he's asking people to work 84 hours a week and then he's going to lay off 75 of the staff and the layoff 75 of the staff thing is a thing he said but then he met with the employees and he's like i'm not really doing that because that does seem outrageous yeah i thought the company has three out of four employees that you don't need that sounds great they have to have a lot of a lot of deadwood have you seen that video of a lady being like showing what her day working at twitter was like oh it's like it's on the same level you may not have seen this video too but but i think the verge made a pc build video a few years ago and it was comically bad like step by step they they ruined the pc essentially but but like watching her go throughout her day it was just like it was one break leading into

another break separated by like yoga and tea what's funny is tech jobs can be like that you know like i had my time as a fairly highly compensated tech employee where it's like you know i bet i worked worked i mean worked an hour and 40 minutes today and and i don't think anyone in construction can say that you know that yeah they actually fucking did accomplishments all day long in construction there they could come back at the end of the day and be like that pile of bricks has not physically moved i counted the bricks meanwhile i imagine with accounting you can play some number magic a little bit like you can ah you know i'm tired the algorithms yeah but like in your boss doesn't know how to do your job he's fucking stupid

compared to you. So you're just pouring water on the cement saying this is part of the drying process. The boss is like, well, I don't know that he's wrong. You know, I asked him and I can tell my higher up that I asked him. Done. Twitter is firing 3,700

people tomorrow. I did see that. Oh, Zach said they've changed the number from 75% to 50%. Oh, what is this? The exact number of employees being let go could still change and the amount of severance being offered is still being figured out according to Bloomberg. But one scenario

involves the workers getting 60 days of pay. California law requires large employers to give 60 days notice for a massive headcount reduction. So it's not clear if Musk is trying to sidestep the spirit of law by calling it 60 days of severance. Nice. But I don't see how that sidestepping, it sounds like they mandate 60 days of severance.

Because severance is less than regular pay, maybe? Maybe that was the difference? Not to my knowledge. I haven't heard that before. I don't know. I did hear this. I heard he was going to try to fire everyone before November 1st when the bonuses get paid out, but they couldn't get it done.

I don't know if that's true. Poor Elon. People are talking a lot of shit about Elon. And I only want to talk true shit about Elon, not false shit. From the outside looking in, Elon is coming into a company that he sees as bloated. And he's trimming it and making it slick and fast so it can make money. And he's trying to sell the blue checkmarks. Look, do you have a blue check marks. Look,

do you have a blue check mark, Woody? I don't. I have a blue check mark. I was offered a blue check mark and I turned it down and I kind of regret it. I have a blue check mark and I want to keep it. But I will not pay for it because if they can just fucking buy them, then who wants one?

The point is you can't buy it i mean i don't have a blue check mark but i have eight dollars yeah so i may get one it's it's so silly like it is ridiculous like i the the pay for blue check mark like for anyone like it makes so little sense to me that i i can't imagine it being unrolled like what is the purpose stuff yeah it's like oh you you don't see as many ads right or you don't see as many ads and i think that maybe your responses get put in the verified responses and your maybe your search we do better in the search algorithm your opinion gets carried a little farther I guess it'd be further your

opinion gets carried further so it comes in a little bit to me it's not but yeah but if you're someone who like like if you work for CNN and you're on there all day tweeting out stories and shit like it would make sense for

cnn just to pay it i guess so maybe he's thinking that kind of stuff will happen i could even see a power user wanting to amplify their voice a little bit like if you know if you're some reason spending if you've spent an unhealthy amount of time on twitter knock yourself out the eight bucks is going to be worth it for you then i hate pay-per-view right like i it just i feel like i pay way too much the 70 for a ufc fight on top of the subscription you pay just to be able to pay the 70 it always feels like too much the ads just slap in the face though that they throw on top of it yes yes you're right that's why i steal now it's because the ads you put on there you cocksuckers i'm done with you i'm um but you know the mechanics of like how much more piracy sponsored by modelo someone watching a youtube video like is worth a tenth of a penny or two tenths of a penny

that's about what they're worth and you think about that like how many people at two tenths of a penny a pop does it or is it to be worth five bucks a lot no one wants to math that it's incalculable but it'd be embarrassing a bunch of them. So if it takes five people to be worth one penny, it takes 500 people to be worth a dollar,

and it takes 2,500 people to be worth five bucks. So one guy giving you five bucks is worth 2,500 people that aren't. The ratio to that, you can see how Elon's looking at aren't the ratio to that like what a like you can see how Elon's

looking at an $8 person like dude we can create some $8 people there's a lot of money to be made here it's what he should do is like hey is this tweet mean a lot to you let's make it let's make it a super fucking tweet for a dollar do that dude and then just lie to people and tell

them it's getting more exposure my check mark away don't take Kyle's and tweet for a dollar. Do that, dude. And then just lie to people and tell them it's getting more exposure. Take my checkmark away! Don't take Kyle's checkmark away on that platform he uses all the time. I mean, I can still DM people and shit. It's cool. They reply.

I got a checkmark. Instagram? I don't know. If they didn't just like, yeah and give me one then no i have a friend with a blue check mark on instagram and i'm not super tight with them but um apparently instagram is like better than tinder better than bumble better than hinge and if you slide into someone's dms with a blue checkmark, you are, it's better than abs. Ooh la la.

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vapeables. Vavity was saying, so Vavity's ex-military now. He's retired, I guess, at this point, right? And so he's ex-military now. He's retired, I guess, at this point, right? And so he's been able to smoke for the first time. And me, as a cancer survivor. I don't think Bobbity ever beat anything.

I've defeated cancer. Beat his own dick. Best. Take that! Not much of an armed force are you so now he's able to smoke dope and I guess he immediately went and got some THCO from a less than reputable source

mind you and it like ruined his evening he said I took two puffs and it ruined my evening. Four hours later, I was fucked up. Yeah, don't get that gas station. I want to contribute to this. So I've been taking the wonky weed more frequently, probably more than

it bothers me that my mom watches this show. Mom, I swear I'm lying. So I've been taking the weaker one, the wonky weed, to help me go to bed. It's kind of cool. When you're driving around. No, this next part is harder to admit.

Don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes. Colin is a pain in the ass to put to bed. He has this anxiety and stuff. He'll take pills. Are these my pills? These are my pills? Yes, these are my pills. Six times. What's this one

do? What's this one? Nighttime routine. Is Rick dead? Is Rick dead? He's talking about walking dead. Like, I don't know. I think... Anyway, this is easier high. This just... Don't talk to me about what your favorite fucking reptile is. Oh my god.

Hi. Woody, I thought you were going. I really thought that you'd been giving Colin the gummies. Okay. All right. That is exactly where I thought it was going to. Maybe don't tell them this. What's this one do?

Get you fucked up yeah yeah but when I'm high it's like favorite reptile who I don't know this is a good conversation I don't know god damn it it's a shame it's your bedtime we can keep riffing on this so so anyway having doing this daily

I'm like you know what I think I'm graduating now I've had two wonky weeds today just the happenstance it worked out that way i think i'm gonna try one of these death by gummies because you know i'm a big boy now yeah oh no i'm not i'm not i'm not ready it you took one yes i took a whole one i don't know what i was thinking it was was a mistake. It was too high. I was too vibing. I think I felt it when I woke up. It took right before I went to bed.

So I was just like pulsing, drinking. You're just like vibrating and hallucinating. I think Lil Dicky's got a song called Too High. I remember somebody else, but there's a part where he's like, I went and took a scary shower. And it's like, yeah, I can relate to that.

If you're like off the walls high, you could absolutely have a scary fucking shower. Are you impressed when you see athletes get in the ice bath? No, but maybe I should be. I don't think I've ever done it. I've done it with my my feet not a bath so before i did that little weight cut like whatever it was 10 pounds or whatever to like dehydrate wait you're talking about when you became like fucking apollo kyle yeah kyle

a little weight cut okay carry on um well i'm talking about like the part where you cut the water like when i did that little water cut like before that yeah yes um before that i had a lot of respect for athletes who cut weight and when they missed weight i was like oh i guess it happens i don't know you're a tough guy now less less so because me as someone who's never done it i just 12 pounds just melts right off it seemingly and then like i mean it wasn't fun i was deaf my mouth was dry i didn't feel good i had a little bit of a headache felt nauseous i got dizzy but i would just take a break from that and go back to it and if somebody was about to lose in the last 24 hours 12 14 pounds or something it was like 10 it was like 8 or 10 pounds the day of i've like given the exact numbers before i'm just going from memory now though okay like it was like 10 pounds

from morning to like taking pictures um that i like ran off and sweated out so anyway what i was getting at um now i've forgotten what i was getting so, um, no, I've forgotten what I was getting at. So you're talking about, am I, you started with, am I impressed with, uh, athletes that take ice baths? Yeah. I've done ice baths before and they're not that bad. They're not that bad. They're getting paid too much money. Yeah.

Like lots of ice. Like I got the big long bags from the gas station and put multiples of those in there with cold water and like stirred it. And I got in there for cold water and like stirred it and i got in there for over 10 minutes every time and i see these guys jump in for like two minutes being up i'm like you're a pussy dude like you're supposed to be the tough guy badass either you're playing this up for the cameras because they told you to or you're just being a pussy like it's it sucks it's awful but i promise you like you're good at this sort of thing like if i get a blister

in my shoe i ain't marching no more like i won't deal with that kind of pain i don't like that sort of thing where i can feel my foot deteriorating every every step that i don't like that yeah but i'll lay in that bath until i until i go numb if you do go numb after maybe it's less than 10 more than five minutes you go like numb to the point where it's like all right let's watch our fucking clock here because we could stay too long i've never done what you've done i have done it though with like i say my foot but like my whole foot up like a couple inches above the foot you know and not quite calf yet and it opened my i was like this is really cold this feels colder than ice.

Somehow ice water is transmitting the cold. It throbs and stings. Yeah, it was painful. But I had big swelling I was trying to deal with. Yeah. I was trying to test it for recovery purposes. And I found it to be tremendously effective. But in the end, not worth the hassle more than the pain it was having to

go get those big bags of ice every time because you can't store them they're so big i don't have i didn't have a deep freeze i still don't it's kind of neat that it was your like all-consuming hobby you know everything you did was secondary to the body transformation that you were working on did you play games sure but they were designed to to take your mind off food. And you can't lift and eat right 24 hours a day. You have to do something else. But everything else, if I could describe it, there were the big items you put in the jar first, and then everything else had to fit around it. was about the one goal, right? Like, kind of left anything that slowed you down behind or anything that worked that, you know, anything that caused any drag

in my life had to go because we were, you know, moving forward full speed didn't want to slow down. It just hurt so every, it hurt so much that you wanted to get, you know, get everything cut out of every step. Do you think you'll do another one? Oh, yeah.

Yeah? Okay. everything could out of every step but i think you'll do another one oh yeah all right yeah uh okay yeah all right now i'm i my approach was much more like i guess i thought if i did it as intensely as you did at least for me that that wasn't a lifestyle change it was like visiting a different lifestyle i wanted a permanent like sustainable thing that i would just always do and ice baths and epsom salt baths and like i like my epsom salt baths my skin is silky smooth i for me it would be like being in detention though. You know, like, oh, Woody, now you have to spend an hour in this basically sensory deprivation unit. I know you, Woody.

You'll probably destroy one laptop a month at this as you drop them into your tub. I was so worried about that the whole time. I was like, because if you're going to spend an hour in the tub, you bring your electronics. I was so close to mounting a TV on the wall. I'm just too lazy. Like right there above the tub. But yeah, I did take those. I spent an hour every day in the bath.

But also, if you're in the bath, you're not eating. You're not tempted to eat. Speak for yourself. Oh, well, I guess you could make some food in there. But yeah, I'm definitely... I enjoy... I don't even know some food in there. But yeah, I'm definitely... I enjoy... I don't even know what to call them. I enjoy hyper-focusing

on a thing for as long as it takes and doing it as well and as I can. And I like to do that with lots of different things. I've done it with games and fitness and lots of other things. I mean, it with games and like fitness and and lots of

other things i mean i did it with like blowing shit up for a while you know i'm back on the fitness kick now my diet's pretty tight right now i gained a couple pounds when i broke my leg and got cancer and couldn't hit the gym and all that oh man is that Is that what you tell everybody? It's true. I love the phrasing, though. It's so good. I broke my leg and then I got the cancer. I gained like three pounds. You know how it is.

Christina Applegate's over there with MS. She gained 40 pounds. No, I think I gained like eight pounds. Although I've lost a bunch of those now, like four or five of them. You would be so inspirational for the God team. I know your dad wants to recruit you to take you to these youth events.

Like my son here, he's a cancer warrior. And he threw off the devil himself off his back and got rid of them ruffians he tooled around with on the internet. I don't know why your dad's in the south now. I don't know why he calls people ruffians.

From a very unique area of New Jersey. I say hang him and hang him high. My father lived in Texas until he was like 18 months old, and he still claims to be Texan. He's like, yeah, my southern accent, it comes right back whenever I'm down.

It's like the opposite of Hank Hill. Hank finds out that he was born for one day in New York and all his friends are like, Hank, you're a city slicker. How's it feel? He's like, oh, I'm not a city slicker. I was there for 15 minutes. It's so fucking funny. It is the opposite yeah um oh yeah anyway my my my diet's tight now jackie's diet's tight now she's also cutting and uh and i'm hitting prs in the gym so

i'm doing okay very nice very nice yeah um yeah you want to stay fit in case you know you go like fighting a war or something like that. I'm just trying to maximize my sexcations. I don't know how many we have left. I'm 49 years old. I was thinking the same thing. Yeah, I didn't think I'd live this long, honestly. I always thought like...

Really? Yeah, I really didn't. Oh, me too. I didn't even have a plan i didn't think i had to worry about post 30 i was like this is the fucking way that i just drove so fast and you know like yeah me too but on a motorcycle i was just that's so much worse i didn't think i had any like concerns i didn't think it would be an issue I didn't think I had any like concerns.

I didn't think it would be an issue. Did you ever like hit an age where like, I remember like thinking about this when I'd watch Seinfeld. Cause you remember like George, when he like turned 30 or whatever, he's like, you just don't think about that. You're going to die. You're just one day going to die.

And there's nothing you can do. And like, you're going to go alone. And like, I remember like thinking at the time, like 30, that's a million years from now. And when i got there i was like oh man i am gonna die like you know you're gonna die i i guess i don't really fear it i don't think about it that much um it's it's pretty scary when you do think about it though because it's like i'm not sure if

i do the finality of it because it's like i think it was christopher hitchens that like put it pretty well where he's like you know death is like fucking sucks because it's like, I think it was Christopher Hitchens that like put it pretty well where he's like, you know, death is like fucking sucks. Cause it's like, you have to leave a party and everyone, everyone's still partying. The party's still going.

It's not going to stop, but you have to go. And that was stuck with me where I'm like, dude, that does fucking suck. Oh, I completely disagree. It doesn't suck at all.

Oh yeah. It sucks for everybody. But me, listen, I get it it i've been your paycheck for the last 49 fucking years i understand and someday i am gonna die and i apologize but my watch is done you know like yeah now you're now my watch has ended now my watch has ended you guys and your insurance begins yeah it's funny you say this as inarguably the fittest 49-year-old.

If there were a top 10, you're there. You think this guy's dying of a heart attack? No. Woody's going to live. Woody's going to outlive both of us. This guy's going to die going, ah! Work the problem, work the problem, work the problem out of time. That's how it goes

we'll find woody with a big knot in his hands and a multi-tool he almost made it kind of he had another thousand feet he'd have figured it out yeah yeah that'll be it no um i i guess i you know you don't want to go one of the things that's sort of like sad i think is it's not getting to see like the future and the things that because to me i'm such a nerd about like future tech and and things like star trek star wars like like man what are we going to do in 100 years are we going to because we're in this brief brief little window where we've just exploded in the since the industrial revolution you you've talked about a lot what do you how we go from planes to the moon and and like 60 years or something yeah that's not

right it's close it's real close like like yeah like 60 something years like there was we've been here for hundreds and hundreds of thousands of years and we didn't make no big leaps like that. Are we done making big leaps like that? It doesn't seem like it yet. It seems like we're still on a pretty steep trajectory. Maybe not as steep as going from planes to moon, but we're still heading up in the technological trajectory. I'd love to know what's coming,

you know, like a hundred, 200, 304. Are we here in five? Are we here in five are we here in five years what if this is the time that like we get too much into ai and like we're not ready for what it becomes and then it goes rampant like a movie if this were sieve i feel like we're investing in shitty stuff right now

like there are exciting technologies to invent where you're like oh i just got sailing this is gonna enable me to explore oh i just got i don't know something else this is gonna enable this cool thing metallurgy who knows what and it's like oh i just got pottery and at the end i needed it for the next thing but i'm not excited about the pots i'm making at all yeah that's where i feel like the internet and cell phones and shit like that came in. Satellite technology. It's like, oh, yeah. Stuff that happened before me. The thing after this is we're cool. Where we went from flying planes on windy sand dunes

to going to the moon was amazing. And it's a necessary step to improve the world's comms, but not as cool as, you know. I guess it's neat that I can get Amazon shit quickly. I'm already bored of mars frankly they have we haven't even been on they've been harping on mars for so long i'm interested in the gas giants now they've lost me they've they've tried to get me interested with promises of life and then remember like 10 years ago they're like we found life on mars and

then like a little later they're like we lied like like that's they they've they pulled the rug on us too much. We're Charlie Brown. We want something cool. And we can't win. That's a NASA problem. I feel like space isn't as cool as you want it to be. So in an effort to get more funding, they just lie their asses off.

Do you remember that chick that predicted what some star thing was going to be in the very far away, far away. And they're like, this is what she thought it would look like. And this is what it actually looked like. Can you believe how right she was? And what she did was she took like a thousand pictures and threw away everything that didn't match what it was supposed to. It was the biggest bunch of bullshit ever.

That's NASA. NASA has a Photoshop problem. You know, they take some semi cool pictures and they Photoshop the fuck out of it until it's better than something you've seen on Star Trek. And it's not better than something you've seen on star trek you just like photoshop look i like photoshop i get it i'll give nasa money but it's all bullshit it's it's not true in mars that asteroid that that comet or whatever the other day or maybe it was an asteroid i don't know they hit a space rock with a with a Pish posh. They were both moving at such incredible speeds.

That's not even that. They changed the trajectory. That's the beginning of the... Was it going to hit us? It actually is going to hit us now. I hope that's what they did. I hope they were like, you know what? There was a comet going by. It's filled with diamonds and gold.

So we redirected it to Woody's yard. We know where it would land, that big gold asteroid. We know where it would go. They'd send it to the deep state. Where would it go?

It'd go to little St. James Island. Yeah, that's Epstein's Island. They'd call it Big St. James and just be made of... Who owns it now? They took it from them. What are they doing with it? It's always been owned by some insidious government organization, probably. Some honeypot thing.

I thought they were going to sell it and then give the money to the girls. There's no fucking way they were going to do that. There's no reality. If i give the money to the girls we mean find them on a sugar baby site and hire them again it's like oh no no guys the pedophiles are going to do the right thing this time they're going to rehire them now that they're 21. No, they're investing hundreds of millions in child pageantry. Hopefully, we talk about the future, Kyle. Hopefully, we can move past child pageantry.

We're never moving past child pageantry. That's the American way. I mean, that's part of our heritage. Taylor, you're coming across like someone who hates women. I know, I'm coming off like a communist. It's those little girls' rights to be primped and pampered and paraded in front of us. In front of adult men. Who better to judge them on their beauty?

Yeah. Jesus. Oh, you want to? Look, I didn't know you were and his lgbq guy that's exactly thank you woody yeah who you want to do the judging huh huh you're right when you're right straight white christian man three of them you don't you don't like ever see like a child pageant happening and you're like oh i guess there can be too much freedom i i i'm like i didn't know they were coming to town.

I'm about to miss the email alert. Oh, yeah. You get one more punch and you get to participate. Well, I hope. You get to be the dressing room manager. I'm hoping I can clean up in the back. I'll pitch in however they need me, really. No, child pageantry is disgusting disgusting and the fact that it reminds me

i think it's cut those people are cut from the same the mothers i think those mothers are cut from the same cloths as like the chicks who have uh who show dogs if you ever watch a dog show 95 women i made this exaggerating like 90 women running those dogs whether it's hurdles or speed agility or just like show dogs it always is i guess i've never really watched a dog show before you ever watched the dog show uh-uh no it's not a part of my culture oh it's not no it's a big part of our culture down here in the south we watch the dog show did you watch i bet like people in the south watch little league world series too i we actually do you don't watch the little league world series no i love the little dude those fucking south americans are always sneaking in some 20 year old with a mustache looks like john

redcorn's kid oh and joseph's up to bat six foot three brown kid like come on that dude was working on a house down the street. Dude, I watched a video from that channel. You told me about the baseball is not real or doesn't exist. And the guy was like the biggest cheating ever in the Little League World Series. And it showed a picture of this team from the Philippines. And some of them didn't even shave like before they played they were very obvious they had like man hands man shoulders man builds and like it showed you know

how like you know if we were all going to manage a little league team and we were going to cheat we'd make sure that our team won like seven to five right eight to three like like reasonable baseball scores these guys were winning 49 to nothing 60 62 to 2 71 to 1 one time i think they put up three figures on a team of actual children and like in the end they discover that because they're like wait these people don't match up at all with the the paperwork you sent us like this man is not 11 what i don't understand is like what parent leaves their kid in the game after they score the 99th run yeah there's more cheating in little league than i thought he told another story he's like there was this inner city team that was like went gangbusters through the little league world

series and in the end they got caught and had to give their trophy back because like apparently the way little league works is like it's regions so it's like this neighborhood versus this neighborhood versus this neighborhood and this uh inner city uh team had basically like expanded the area like kind of cheating and then said like you know joey sportsman over here who isn't eligible they're gonna say that he's uh you know tyler simonson who is eligible but just sucks and so at the end of it after it all came to reality like it came to the truth it was like the baseball is not real it was like in the end they discover that of the 13 players only three were from the actual neighborhood and allowed to play that so it was like the whole team was just people that they handpicked.

Like, how do you not catch that shit? Like, it shouldn't seem like it would be that hard, right? But how much oversight is there in the Little League World Series? That's it, yeah. Yeah, not a lot. What things do it? When does cheating bother you? And when do you just not care?

When it hurts my team. Alright, so that's a good one. And I think we all feel that because I think it's funny that Chael Sonnen and Jon Jones do steroids. But I don't want somebody coming in all roided up beating up my fighter, right? Yeah.

Who's my clean fighter, though? But not just steroids aside, maybe. Steroids aside, like cheating, cheating. Like Woody's kind of like excusing the Astros thing, right? He's like, come on, everybody does it. So what? They added a few more things. I genuinely don't understand how like adding,

what was it, the trash cans or the like. The electronic system. Being smarter at decoding the signs using a computer is cheating, but doing it in your head is not. Correct. It is a very wavy, arbitrary line of which cheating is okay and which isn't. Yeah. If I use an aimbot in a game, you're just like, oh, that's cheating.

You had somebody else do the work for you. Yeah, but everybody's doing it in baseball. They're all trying to to play a little shading the cheating that's fine in baseball is when you've got a runner on second and he's like back there like peering from his position that he earned there on the field of play to try to glean something we're talking about someone who had to be given a ticket by the organization or they bought one but given a ticket by the organization or they bought one, but given a ticket by the organization planted in that seat with binoculars

and a radio and a computer system that they had experts build. And now all the players have wires on them that vibrate. And we got a guy in the dugout hammering out signals. And we only got one guy on the team. And there's only one guy on the team who doesn't want to be part of it. It's their second baseman. This, the i'm gonna mess up his name is mexican tuleve or tuve or whatever that guy you can see him at one of his bats they're banging on the trash can he takes the pitch even though he knows what's coming he's like he shakes his head and

they don't hit the trash can again the rest of the game he's the only one not fucking cheating that's pretty honorable and he was there we have he was just homophobic. He didn't want to wear the vibrating anal dildo. He was not one of the worst, Zach. You don't know what you're talking about. I have deep dove this. It was a tattoo that was embarrassing. That's why I didn't want his jersey open. I trust that.

Lots of people. That's what happens. So many professional athletes don't want to show their bodies. Let me ask you this. They're all trying to read the signs. They're all trying to cheat. My mind was blown when I watched that. Even knowing what's coming isn't the biggest of deals.

Where did they curl? Was it the wires, you would say, if they hadn't done the wires? It doesn't even matter what I think. There's been books written about this. What do you think the line of cheating? For me, it's that there's even a guy out there but then going a step further with all the wiring and the the computer algorithm and um the the the idea that they've got buzzers on their bodies vibrating when they when it's going to be an off-speed pitch or whatever code they're using all of that like adding all that gadgetry and the the people who are outside the game doing

the cheating for them like they've got another guy who isn't even on the field of play you know like helping them during the game have other teams been caught doing that no not like a coach they've already got a fucking coach he's in the dugout wearing a hat that sounds like cheating too they got a guy just telling what to do all game long. No, I'm talking about that shady motherfucker in the hat pulled down low out there. How is he different than the other coaches? You have a third base coach, a first base coach, and a center field coach.

You got a center field coach with a binoculars in the back. I don't like that kind of cheating. I don't like that kind of cheating. I also didn't like it when the New England Patriots were watching people's practices. Practice.

Recording their practices. I think a lot of teams have been caught doing stuff like that. A lot of them have. That I actually don't mind as much, but it's still very much cheating. Now, here's cheating that I have no problem with. I saw one where I think there was a collision at the plate, and I want to say the catcher dropped this.

He's got this little booklet on his arm, and it's how they're going to pitch everybody. It's like, oh, Jim, throw him fastballs high and away. Todd, breaking pitches every time, low and inside, like how they're going to face each other. And the collision happens. It falls on the ground, the batter's like, I'll just pick this up and

take it with me here. And he does! And the cameras are everywhere, it's a baseball park, so you see him go back to the hey coach, here you go. And the coach is like, good job. Like you see the whole dirty exchange go down.

And the guy didn't get guy didn't drop his book the guy who picked up the book and stole it and gave it to the coach he didn't get in trouble like that was that was understood to be like well he dropped the answers of course you take the key i mean it's section 11 rule 9 finders keepers losers sweepers but i'm not even i think don't have a card in your pocket that gives all the answers away when you go to the side my own sense of morality tells me that that's okay like i believe that that is righteous what he did that we're here to compete and you dropped your like your notes i'm gonna grab your notes up you can't drop your notes i have them now he should

now if he had said hey you got my notes yeah dude you got me but he didn't you could yeah they call that the swiper no swiping clause i'm telling you how my own morality works like if he had ever said hey you got my shit but yeah dude you caught me but he was so willy-nilly about keeping this this thing the sacred thing secret that he didn't even notice it was gone until it was too fucking late and the other coach has it. Now they know how they're going to get pitched. And he's like, yeah, watch out for the breaking ball. MMA cheating bothers me a lot.

People get hurt. People get hurt. So prime examples of MMA cheating I don't like is when you grab the gloves. I don't love that, but it's so common. Grabbing the gloves is practically part of the sport grabbing the fence is not um you know you could be way better than me at takedowns but if i'm allowed to wrap my fingers around the fence i could probably stay up you know it's hard to

take me down when i grab things and don't let go uh and it really really changes the outcome of the fight the momentum changes not just of the fight in that that sort of metaphorical sense but in a literal sense when someone's picking you up for a slam the difference of energy that you're gonna receive on the impact is huge if he's able to like drag against that fence a little and like oh like do one of these just a little direct grab on that fence to slow the or prevent it you're having to pick me up and slam me suplex me or something like you're you can't do it if i'm hanging on no goddamn fence this is if i hang on to the fence i'm gonna jump i can lighten the slam yeah i could maybe choose

my body position when i get there you know like you would have previously owned me and had side control or something now yeah i've got guard or i'm so close to my feet i get back up quickly again the ones that make me yell at my tv the ones that make me yell at my tv are eye pokes and mma and late hits and nfl and the eye pokes i get some people just have a stance and a style hey look this is part of my defense looking you don't like it don't walk into it bro here i am i'm gonna be doing this don't like it? Don't walk into it, bro. Here I am. I'm going to be doing this a lot.

It's one of those things where a kid does the crazy arms. It's like, whatever happens is up to you. Well, I'm going to kick air. And if you walk into my feet, that's on you. I don't like that. But in the NFL, when I see late hits it's like what the fuck were you doing like like why did you do that like now we've got a i don't understand those there's nothing to gain and put bounties on players uh i it's fucking philadelphia is the greatest sports

city in the world but yeah they'd be like yeah five hundred dollars if you can injure the other team's quarterback. Did we put a bounty on someone? Obviously not a scary kind of bounty. Or a trophy. Did we put a silly bounty on something or someone? Oh, the show? Yeah, these individuals here.

Could we put a bounty on something or someone? No, you can't put a bounty on someone, Jesus. Why not? What do bounty hunters do i guess they don't put bounties on people they're collecting they they collect bounties that they're the ones who show up when you put a bounty on somebody and they go get it do you have to do do you have to listen to them like i imagine if you're like a civilian yeah like no suck my dick like if he if the Bounty Hunter comes up and he's like,

hey, I want... I need $200. I'd give him the money. I know he's had a rough time the last few years. They recorded him saying the N-word. That's not cool. And his wife died. And his wife died. Oh, really? She looked so healthy.

Believe it or not, she was obese. What? Looks can be deceiving. Oh my goodness. I mean, based on ESPN magazines, now she looks like a swimsuit model. Jesus, that's a thing. You don't like black models?

I have been consuming too much red pill content, and my brain is somewhat infected. I hate black models now. I've been programmed to hate fat models. I meant to say I hate fat models now. I have been programmed to hate fat models. Actually, black models are fine.

But goodness gracious. Unless they're fat. Yeah, unless they're fat. Then I'm right back where I started. That's the worst right this notion and this is some stolen material of like how am i supposed to compete with that oh my god she's so beautiful she's so thick you're not you're not you're not as fucking as hot as she is not everyone gets to be as hot as she is shut the fuck up you stay in your lane or develop a personality or something you know like like you you instead no you scroll down amazon look at it brah i was

trying to find some wank material and all the chicks are fat now all the chicks are masturbating to amazon ads are you judging me he got so degenerate that he came out through like he came back around with bikini pics You know what's worse than masturbating to Amazon ads? It's masturbating to Amazon Child pornography I'm right A point to Taylor

If you were to masturbate to the amazon review photographs you ever like talked looked at those people review amazon purchases and upload photographs of themselves to amazon i know that seems insane but if you scroll hard enough you'll find them and there are plenty of people who are clearly exhibitionist i would say 50 of the people who do this are exhibitionist not the kind you want though lots of men showing you sheer underwear um lots of lots of very obese women it is a shit show and it's hard to find sometimes what you got i look for reviews of like revealing underwear if you want to find like the good stuff like like find some sort of like find like a mankini or something some reviews of like revealing underwear. If you want to find like the good stuff, like, like find some sort of like,

find like a man Keeney or something, some sort of like banana hammock, weird thing. Like one of those, um, things Borat or maybe with the shoulder straps and then scroll all the way and find the degenerate piece of shit. Oh,

it's actually the guy who assaulted Mr. Pelosi. There he is. He's a, he's reviewing like the, he's the kind of guy I want to talk about that more, man. That's fascinating to me. I still can't believe she's got, he's got no security when she's reviewing. He's the kind of guy. I want to talk about that more. Man, that's fascinating to me.

I still can't believe he's got no security when she's away. Yeah, that's weird. You assume there'd be more security. But yeah, did you find any good reviews? You're not going to like it. So I searched sheer underwear. And I go to the women's, and there's not a single picture. I go to the next one. Turns out

this is men's underwear. Are there pictures? Why yes, there are pictures. Well, I'll just see if I think I'd look good in them. Dude looks good. I'd say. Actually, he's not a big man. Can you link us? Yeah.

Let's look at some not safe for photographs. Roll down reviews with pictures. You'll see a guy there's, you know, someone in the mirror. I have the second mirror picture. I'm unimpressed.

Second with the size of his dick in case I'm being, I've been following. Yeah. I must be on the wrong guy. I'm only seeing this. Keep hitting the arrow. Just keep hitting the arrow. Yeah. It's an aisle around the arrow. Just keep hitting the arrow. Oh, there it is.

It's an aisle around the mirror. Yeah. Well, I take umbrage with them saying this is sheer. I can't see nearly enough. That's true. If you scroll to the top where they put their hand behind the underwear, then it looks sheer. That's why I gave it three stars.

Who leaves a review for four stars and just says they are okay? I just told you who. I just told you who. They are okay. They are okay. They are okay, but panties are better. Four stars. Four stars.

What an encouraging guy. They're not for him, but he knows that they're for someone. Can I see Mr mr x's other reviews uh yeah what's what's mr x when you go down that rabbit hole you often find some you'll occasionally find a sexy lady who just tries on all these amazon panties and it's it's like ah goldmine but more often than not you find exhibitionist white men. Yeah. This guy is reviewing a lot of panties. He reviewed long, perfect, ultra-thin, shimmery stocking pantyhose. Yep.

Oh. Yeah. He's got four, five, six panties, seven panties. This guy is a panty enthusiast. Dude, this is so funny. Tip of the hat to you. It like like male panty review very nice soft silky sexy and fun runs a little bit small my regular size still works and then like two later it's for high viscosity adhesive good stuff works better than other

this guy's just masturbating and fucking panties and then he buys high quality adhesive from that's reddit culture too though like i'll be on reddit on like some like not safe for work reddit and i'll go to somebody's profile and and it's lots of dirty stuff and then all of a sudden they're just like very concerned with the election as well and they're using the same account for both things they're looking at their dick sucked over here and and over here they're like i don't know about the midterms it's just not looking good here in oregon here in the local and i like dude two accounts what are you doing don't use boner patrol 69 you know you're concerned about roe versus wade or whatever i don't know that shows that person

they they're putting their money where their mouth is beating off putting on panties and then buying adhesive and posting on reddit so here i just i kyle mentioned reddit so i pulled it up house democrats introduced a bill that would limit the U.S. Supreme Court justices to 18-year terms. If passed, Clarence Thomas would go to... What do you guys think of this? I think that it's... 18-year term? I think we call that sour grapes.

Sour grapes. I think that's losers trying to come up with a way to keep... See, here's the other thing. The younger someone is, the more likely they are to be left-leaning. It's just... You always hear that thing that young conservatives are pieces of shit and old Democrats are stupid or something like that. I think what you're looking for is if you're young and you're not liberal,

then you have no heart. And you're old and you're not conservative, you have no mind. There's something close like that. I think what you're looking for is if you're young and you're not liberal, then you have no heart, and you're old and you're not conservative, you have no mind, or something close to that. Okay. So, an 18-year... That makes a lot of sense for their team, I think. I think they need to shut up and suck it for the next 50, because that's what's going to happen.

We should have 100-year term limits as a ward against vampires and the supernatural. You're so right. That's the dumbest great idea I've heard today. That's why you would be a very popular representative. You would put that forward. People were like asking me about that. The punchline would come five minutes in.

I'm here to talk about term limits. This is serious stuff. Alex Jones didn't go far enough talking about demons. He was trying to three off the track. It's vampiric gene. That's my whole thing is Alex Jones has been an inside man

for the deep state. I'm going to point him out. No, my big thing, yeah, term limits for vampires. Making meat cheaper. People would love that. I think you would love that. No, I'm simply not.

You're self-serving. Are you self-serving? This is the first time. His second policy is making meat cheaper. That helps everyone. That's number two on your agenda. Name ten things better.

Day one of your presidency. Meat will be cheaper. What is the kind of board you like? A proscutory board? I don't know this word. A charcuterie board. I really feel like they'll be like government provided charcuterie board. I'm going to there'll be like government provided charcuterie board.

I'm going to wildly improve the quality and the variety of government cheese. Look at this. You're used to government bullshit cheese. Now you get Havarti. Boom. Everyone's in a good mood. Everyone's happy. You're going to be full of Havarti.

I would not eat Havarti cheese. I don't know what it is, but it's very good. It's very tasty. You'd like it. I mean, all cheese is fatty. That's what it's made mean, it won't fit in your cut because it's cheese. Have you ever eaten a small amount of cheese and then looked at the calories and just been like, how? And it's like, oh, yeah, it's like condensed fat. You can get low fat cheese, although it's harder to get than it should be.

And it's not as good. There is zero% fat cheese, and it is the consistency. When you run your fingers through it, picking it up, it's like stale cheese. You ever leave the bag? You know those bags are so hard to zip back up. If you ever leave it and it gets dry, that's what the 0% fat cheese is. It's hard to find. I would order it all the time through Instacart.

When I was going hard in the paint, get that 0% fat cheese, and sometimes 2% would show up, and I'd be like, thank God. Thank God they didn't have the 0%. I tried, Derek. It's cool, bro.

Just run for 20 more minutes today. It's fine. What is the... It's not fine. It's a disastrous outcome. it's cool bro just run for 20 more minutes today it's fine what is the what is fine how do you disastrous outcome what what is like what's filling in for the fat you know because like you know that stuff like it's got more sugar in it like what is it no what's in the cheese took the fat out that so i think it's the lack of the fat that makes it so like dry and feel and weird feeling the fat was the moisture yeah i feel like the fat is the cheese like the cheese is mostly just it's orange flaky pellets of stuff that you that melts okay that's

all you're looking for at that point i lost my weight like a year ago most of it and uh at the end of it jackie's like i have a confession to make oh i've been putting full fat cheese in your lunches for the last year and i'm like what she's like i couldn't find it and oh i've been putting full fat cheese in your lunches for the last year. And I'm like, what? She's like, I couldn't find it. I've been entering it in like a chronometer and everything. I had the recipe put together. This whole time she's been slipping in full fat cheese on me. Did you eat like a slice a day? She's lucky I didn't slice her.

A slice of cheese? Like a Kraft single? It's like two Kraft singles. Zach, is that 140 calories? Zach, help me. Are Kraft singles 70 calories each? I believe they are. I think that she has been throwing 140 calories on you a day.

It's the delta that matters. So it might be like 100. Because it would have been 40 anyway, low fat. Okay, then 100 a day. That's no joke. A lot. That's a pound. That's incalculable. It's a pound

every 35 days. It's 10 pounds, Woody. 10 pounds. She put 10 pounds of cheese on your ass. Wait, what was the calories of the one you wanted? I don't know. I assumed it was 40. It's 40 versus 140. Something like that. 100 a day for 365 days.

Zach says it's 50 per single, so maybe it's not that much. Shucks. In any case, I was swimming against the tide there. Alright. You didn't even know you were, and you still battled through. Were there any times

where you ate the cheese and you're like this tastes just like regular every time every time you know because i i i bored people with this but you have this calculation like all right stevie is not as good as sugar but you know it's a sacrifice i can make to avoid all those calories okay you know fucking lemon in water the tears of lemons is not quite lemonade but it's a sacrifice i can make it because i want to have abs oh the cheese what i feel like i'm not giving up anything at all low fat cheese is the way to go i use uh the shredded cheese i know that it's um like not as good it's got cellulose in it, which is literally wood matter. How's that bad? Sounds good.

It's not a food product, but it's just quick and it's easy to sprinkle. When you're going by grams of cheese, you can sprinkle it onto the scale and go really quick. Or you just eyeball it pretty quick, like slicing chunks of cheese. I'm melting it into my meat bowl. Why is it

being a food product such a priority? The priority is abs yes not food i just need to get that order worked out i just feel like if you like if you were like yeah actually they substituted the fat with plastic and it plasters right through your system i'd be like this sounds great i would eat plastic food i would absolutely yeah sure yeah if you could if you could shift a meal a day to plastic food that tasted just as good oh have you ever seen that when when you know that that fake fruit when you go up to it and like hotels or wherever the fuck that's fake for ikea you look and someone's bitten that shit you can see the tooth marks every time every

time if you look i've never seen fake fruit that had kids bite marks on it or are they fooled or curious fooled because it's often very realistic and children are fucking who just starts eating food laid out at like a couch store i would oh my god that wine spilling. Fruit bowls are by definition complimentary. I see a fruit bowl. Unless that fruit's individually wrapped. I assume they wanted to give me that fruit. What do you think of these parents

or these people on Reddit thinking it's ridiculous and shitty for kids to take all the candy that's left unattended on a doorstep? Depends on the time of night. And the candy. If you have reasonable belief that maybe you could have been the last person, then you can have the rest.

Really? That's how you think? You don't blame the lazy parent or person, homeowner who's not attending and like divvying out the candy appropriately. They left a bucket of candy on their porch for children on a

night known for mischief and were surprised when they don't oh please everyone take a single piece it's not fucking thanksgiving it's not christmas it's not easter it's trick or treat guess which i'm picking motherfucker i'm taking all of your i would have stolen that candy in a heartbeat i'm not thinking about the next kid. Maybe I am and thinking, ha ha ha. Look, you leave candy unattended. You are the asshole in that situation. Not the 10 year old who came along and saw an opportunity to get $20 worth of Snickers

in a fucking grab. He's going home now. He's done. I'm not with you. I'm not with you. I think the people, and maybe I'm searching for corner cases here, but I sometimes think people putting out a bag of candy like that aren't just being lazy. They have some reason it's not easy for them.

The dog goes ballistic every time you open the door. The baby's trying to sleep. Who knows what. Don't want to hear their excuses. I think it's more on the parents. You should tell your kid, hey, don't take whole hear their excuses. I think it's more on the parents. You should tell your kid, hey, don't take whole buckets of candy because there's people coming after you.

If I'm there with a child, I'm like, hey, don't do that. But if I'm a child, come on. It's trick-or-treating. It's Halloween. I'm dressed as a fucking pirate. You know what? It should be based on the costume. If you're like

Thor or someone who's supposed to be good, you take one piece of candy. If you're a pirate, a vampire, yeah, then take all the candy you want. Would you say rape? Vampires rape. Pirates steal.

It's because pillaging It's why I constantly go as Bill Clinton Year after year There's all kinds of shit I can do Hey I was hoping for some pussy Is your wife home? If you go grey completely You could do a Bill Clinton

I could pull it off You know what I'm so jealous of Before we go off the candy thing Because know the the kids stealing all of it to be expected they are kids they're gonna they say i don't look down on those kids fire in their eyes and they want the candy i've seen an uptick of clips of adults stealing entire bowls of candy as well like like 35 40 year old women just walking up and pouring it and that's inexcusable because if you are an adult with any money at all candy is basically free like candy go find something cheaper like calories to cost if you buy more than one bar at a time the price per item gets solo i saw the other day you

could buy 64 ounces of peanut m&ms is that yeah it's a lot 16 ounces a half gallon right so four pounds of fucking peanuts or whatever and it was like nine dollars it's cheaper than just buying the peanuts it's cheaper than just buy peanuts Of course, I mean chocolate, it's not even real chocolate You can get a backpack sized bag of candy Called chocolate And made the United States agree that it was chocolate It's better than chocolate It is better than chocolate

You know some people It's not even real chocolate Yeah, chocolate was bullshit White chocolate isn't real chocolate It's tasty though In the last three minutes I've heard ageism And racism come out of you guys Yeah, chocolate was bullshit. White chocolate isn't real chocolate. It's tasty, though. You know what? In the last three minutes, I've heard ageism and racism come out of you guys.

White chocolate's chocolate, milk chocolate's chocolate, and old people stealing candy are fine with me. Oh, yeah. Time to stop me. Don't you call out my answers. I just go with whatever I think is funnier. Trick-or-treaters came to my house and i i refused to participate yeah i got two to my house we didn't even buy candy this year i felt a little bad zero this

year goose my dogs were losing their shit so like opening the door is kind of like sketchy they won't hurt anybody but they might rush outside and then i'm chasing them and it'd be a whole thing but anyway i looked through the peephole, right? And it was, um, three black kids. And, um,

one of them was dressed as a storm trooper and one of them was dressed up as Jason. And, uh, and he had the knife out and I was like, am I taking a chance? You know, you know,

he can be the real Jason. It can be the real jet. No, I didn't have any, I don't have any fucking candy and I didn't prepare for it. And the light was only on because I had food being delivered, so I felt bad. But it was like, what am I, make the food delivery guy lurk through the darkness? I've got more updates with my landlord.

So they let, it was $3,000 last month between the uh it was twelve hundred dollars worth of sewer and eighteen hundred dollars worth of water that we used last month at my home jesus and um and yelled at a refund on the sewer because i'm pretty sure it just drained into your grass it did it did um i got a refund on everything um because i because i was i was i was looking for lawyers um i was like this this isn't going to happen. So now I've got six months of trash for free, apparently. And what was the other thing they did? I'm paying less for rent than normally this month.

And they paid all of my water and all my sewer. It was ridiculous. They're difficult to deal with. I wouldn't invest in them, I don't think think they don't seem to be good at running their business i i don't know how they can just you would think someone get fired like like three thousand dollars worth of water just like pours down the drain and i'm complaining every day about it but nobody comes to turn it off i'm not a very active property management company not not seeming no not really can we talk about my topic oh yeah kanye west i think he tweeted this he's

going on a verbal fast which means more than you think he won't speak drink or have sex for 30 days and apparently that also includes watching adult films. I'm doing a 30-day cleaning, a verbal fast, no alcohol, no adult films, no intercourse. We praise God. Amen. But my Twitter is still lit. What? I thought you were going to mean

he was going to do some monk-style thing, like no water for 30 days, no food for 30 days. And I'm like, he's going to die. He's going to die with 30 days of water. I don't think you're going to get close to 30 days. Apparently, he's not going to talk a jerk off for 30 days. He's just going to tweet. Yeah, saying he's not going to drink for 30 days and then being like, it's alcohol.

Burying the lead a little there, you know, guys. Come on. You wanted him to abstain from water i i thought i thought he was going like monk mode like some kind of like i need to recenter my chi or whatever the fuck yeah that's you know maybe he'll lose some weight no i i feel bad for kanye because i think he's mentally ill he's not cutting food or water though he yeah he does seem like a lot of mental problems i think he's a crazy person. He's just an actual crazy person. And, you know, when you've got a crazy person,

you just ignore them. You don't. Oh, yeah? What else? What else did you do? You killed the president. That's a serious crime. When you have a crazy person.

What else? And you picked him in the death pool. You encourage him. You kidnapped Sean Connery. Well, he's dead dead so that's that's what is that body yeah you know i'm like you can't do that to him like he's just crazy someone should have put him under on one of those britney spears style conservative ships like as soon as he was about to go death con three or whatever they should have immediately yeah the

death con they should have immediately taken his social media away and he should have been checked in somewhere his money should have his two billion that he still had right then should have been i mean that's a it's he clearly should have been put under a conservative ship he had two billion and now he's got 400 million that's the math doesn't add up well yeah still a lot of money is rough but yeah it's 1.6 billion lost in a couple weeks. I wonder how much that impacts you. I can hardly fathom what that kind of money is like. A billion is so much. Two billion is so much.

400 million is so much. He can still have anything he wants. He's fine. Right? He can still expect like 40 million a year. I think Candice Owens may have taken like 20 or 30 though, right? Did he buy Truesilk? I thought he had bought not Truesilk but that other thing that her husband

Oh, you're right. I said it wrong. Parlor is the one. I thought he had bought Parlor. If not, I was... I know they talked about it. I didn't know that it happened so I'm not really sure. Okay. Makes sense. I haven't heard anymore. Yeah, I guess it didn't happen. He probably doesn't want to buy it anymore now that he's lost.

Why would you buy it in the first place? No one's there. Because he got booted off Twitter and he wanted someplace to post. Do we need to watch Candace Owen's movie and report back on The Greatest Lie Ever Sold? I don't want to watch a political documentary.

Is it free? Do I have to pay attention the whole time? Can I play magic while it's on? No! I'm playing a bargain. What's it about again? BLM. And how they're financing, how it's a big scam, and all the violence

that it caused, and how the violence that it caused, and how the people behind it are just cackling and running away with your money. Millions of dollars. Yeah, well, a lot of special interest groups... Say you love it! You're like, oh, really? What's it called again? Still, I don't know. I don't really...

She comes off like such a grifter. No, she's... No, that doesn't mean that what she's saying is wrong. Or that everything she said is wrong. I'm just saying the fact that she used to be hot. She oscillates seemingly. Zach, are there any bikini pictures of Candace Owens?

If so, you know what to do. I think she's very hot. I i don't know i'm always attracted to those political ladies like like they don't have to be nearly as attractive as i would want who are some other ones i don't like all of them honestly look i'm gonna be honest like pelosi used to be really hot like like she's a fucking goat now but first of all she's got those gigantic mommy milkers and and and just silly big peak pelosi was like just a just a just a real mess i bet yeah you just not riddled with back problems get in there yeah actually i'm looking at young nancy pelosi that is literally the least flattering

two photos that exist of her on the internet That's not even the same person on the left They're just making fun of some poor lady They went hey Candice Look ugly and fat And she went okay That's not even her Young Pelosi is pretty But I'm having a hard time getting past the short hair.

She always had a Karen haircut. Yeah. Hate that. You got to hate that. But I mean, I bet she did it because she's like, oh, people will take me seriously. South Carolina lady, not Tulsi Gabbard, but she's super hot. It's the other one, the Indian lady from South Carolina. What's her name?

I didn't. I don't know. You're not thinking of Tulsi Gabbard, tulsi gabbard's hawaii right i think am i crazy is she not indian by like race maybe i'm wrong where what state is it south carolina she's um hayley something hayley nicky hayley nicky hayley that is yeah that is who i'm mixing her up with my yeah she's a yeah they you know they're both like brunettes but but nicky hayley is like part indian i think like not feathers dots i think right um i think she's pretty attractive but but i really like grade them on a different scale those political ladies i like how intelligent

you left out aoc and i think she's better than oh she's top of the fucking pile yeah aoc is super high definitely at the top i always say i would sign on to all the all of her her whole political agenda yeah absolutely you're just like oh that's horrid but okay i like fine i'll pay for everyone's college damn this you're a baddie i don't care if this doesn't make any sense. Whenever they show pictures of AOC and they try to make her look unattractive, she has these big eyes and this big mouth and I'm like, I like

both those things. They try to make her look deranged. I'm like, she's just hot to me. I like that look. She's just like, and I'm like, yeah, she's intense. She's got a lot of white over the the top of the the pupil area which lots of white which gives off insane vibes yes have you ever seen this i don't think she looks fine i i i i have gotten really sensitive to the pictures that people choose like like um i saw fox news

put a picture of elon musk up el. Elon Musk was looking dapper, handsome. I know the one. Best Elon Musk. He's looking to the right. I don't know if he's touched up or if he's just having his best day. It's prime Elon. But that's the picture they use, right? And then meanwhile, I've seen CNN use a picture of Sarah Huckabee.

She was the speaker for oh my god for the trump so she's not a looker but some pictures are better than others and they made her look horrendous that is not a great elon picture to me that's a decent one but they have one where he's got a little bit of scruff and he's sort of like i can't i'm not even when i saw 12 12 years old. They just grabbed a really great... It's like right after he got all of his gender-affirming surgeries. Yes. Anyway, when CNN... CNN could be Fox. I watch all of it. When they choose a picture

of someone and they make them look good or bad, it's a kind of bias that I'm really sensitive to. I tune into it. Oh, yeah. You pick it up right away. You've got to watch both sides to get any idea of what's actually going on. And then you still don't really know. I think this thing in Ukraine...

I mean, I've been to Ukraine. I don't know that it's really happening over there. They tell me it is, and they show me a bunch of black and white drone footage. They could be making the whole thing up. It could be an absolute fabrication. A lot of people keeping a secret. Well, they've got 40 billion dollars

to bribe them all to keep a lie and there's more on the way so Taylor's been telling me all this about how this makes a lot of sense man there's no such thing as Ukraine that's his movement hashtag there is no Ukraine there isn't it's just what is it East Poland

or whatever Western Poland and Eastern Russia there's really a lake there yeah he's been telling me that for a while but Woody's gonna go over there and he's gonna take a look for himself geography deniers will argue this yeah

I've watched some videos of this one guy on YouTube I got suggested who's like a wizard at GeoGuessr and for some reason like I like watch it and I think it's really cool like he'll be like like he'll walk himself through

it sometimes but like all he has to do is look at it for like two seconds and he's like this is Wales, this is Zimbabwe this is Eastern Russia and like the clues they use are unreal what have you seen these videos you know what geoguessers i'm sure i do but i don't know how they do it well yeah he doesn't move and he does no look and he'll be like i know that it's venice or i know that it's cuba

because the lines look like this i can see the speed limit sign there cuba's one of the two nations on earth that have this sign the other one south korea obviously this is in korea look at the where the sun is and it's like i would be like all right where grass where's their grass all right they have water here i see it is not northern russia or canada i see white people yeah i wouldn't know how to play that game i that's a game i've never even tried to play because i know it's hard good at that like the things that make you good at that i don't have those skills or or or me either knowledge so i've guessed my way into being like a mile or two away before and it feels really good like but usually that's because i'm like actively cheating by moving myself until i get to an

intersection that says like welcome to brazil yeah that's that's probably not fair no it's not i didn't know that people did it just you know looking at a still frame for two seconds until i saw that guy's video but it's wild it's such a novel skill set i've seen people on uh on twitch do that a good bit you know who i've been watching a little bit lately is um what is kit boga or whatever the guy we had him on the show that time he's the one yeah he scams the scam guys um and have you seen like what he does lately how he keeps them on the phone for 10 fucking hours as and all right so they want him to go there's different scams but one of them involves they want they want you to go to the

store and get them um like prepaid cards right is this kit kabuchi or something close to that yeah yeah yeah he's been on the show yeah uh-huh and um they um lost a train of thought they try to keep him on for 10 hours and their ultimate goal is to get him to do something Uh-huh. And they... I lost my train of thought. They try to keep him on for 10 hours and their ultimate goal is to get him to do something. He cashes in the cards in front of them after they've been vested 10 hours into this whole scam. And he's like,

I think I see it here. It says redeem. And they're like, Sir, do not click redeem! No! And he's like, sir, do not click redeem. No. And he's like, yeah, I see it right, redeem. And he's like slowly punching in that four-column code. Sir, please stop what you are doing.

And he turned a little Scottish there. And they lose their shit because I'm'm sure that five they're five hundred dollars per card and sometimes he'll just keep doing them one after another and i don't think it's real money because he goes he has scammed them so hard sometimes that they're on his private server in a thing that looks like his desktop or looks like his bank account he can make his bank of america account have eight million dollars in it so and he'll be like could you please help me and like give them access to the eight million and and and they are just like oh yes sir we're going to walk you through this today and you get to see what they would have done and they'll start trying to take huge chunks of money and move it around places

and uh and they'll just ruin their fucking day because good sometimes they'll turn their webcam on he'll be looking at them and all their boys because he's gotten a crowd like oh shit patel's got one he's got eight mil on him american and they're gathered around and you can see him and he's just like i see you there what's that what's your name tag saying? They're all, oh, shit. They're great. He really actually owns those pieces of shit because they rip so many people off. Oh, yeah. That shit's fucked up. Taking advantage of largely elderly people.

I know somebody that got ripped off. I don't want to go into too specific of a thing because I don't, but I know somebody... All the money this old person had. All their money. That sucks. And afterwards, the person's like feeling so foolish.

They're like, I'm just going to kill myself. I'm just going to kill myself. I've ruined my life. I got this far and I handed my money away because I was lied to and tricked. Like it was so sad. It's heartbreaking. It's really, really sad. You don't want to see anybody have their life destroyed by some piece of shit. But imagine, though, how

baller it must be for the guy that got the money, though, right? Wow. A million dollars. A million dollars in India. Yeah, I mean, even if he's just getting a percentage, right, because he works for a company that scams. Maybe he gets a 20%,

10%, whatever. Still, if he gets $100,000, $200,000 in India, I'm sure that's a lot of money. It's wild. It's a lot of money everywhere. It's a lot of money no matter where you are, but that's like an industry there. Yeah, they're good at it. Are we allowed to do that to

other countries? Could we start an American scam call service and call India and try to get some rupees? It's about time we even the score a bit because it's been decades of this, of One Direction. Before we hit back at India, I mean, well, I guess the Nigerian Prince scam, they weren't actually Nigerian. India is buying all Russia's fuel right now. Let's fuck them in some way. I think maybe you just want to target Russia and maybe scam some Russian people. I bet you could run a scam.

It would be a more direct way to accomplish this. I bet you could run a scam where you were tricking the loved ones of Russians who have been mobilized. Like, oh, this is the private network for mobilized Russian soldiers. It it's 29.99 a month and you get plugged into our sms service and and we've got a private messenger that that that is

safer for your loved ones to use it's not safer it's by the way it's just standard messaging by by the way just so you know so get this get this app going write this down so we make the app we sell the service we like this is gold and then we'd have the geolocation of all the russians that we could like you know give to sell i just want to run a cell to i will tell you if your loved one who's serving in the army is alive or dead right now uh 499 a call i always say dead no you won't return business how about how about 1099 you always say alive for now yeah he's uh tomorrow yeah alive for now yeah i think we got i'm glad you checked in you reminded me and I went and checked in on him. He's going to be okay for tonight.

I'm glad you reminded me, though. Remind me again tomorrow, by the way. A lot of guys to check in on out here. You never know if he's going to have food or clothes or a gun. It's a while. No, you could definitely scam some Russian families, I guess. Would that be too mean or heartless? Well, I think the initial goal, we're trying to scam scammers,

not scam people who aren't scammers. I guess I just wanted to turn it toward Russia, I guess, because they're kind of the bad guys. I've never gotten a scam call from a Russian guy. I feel like I'd hear that voice and I'd be like, I don't trust you. I don't trust you.

I don't think you're looking up my message. We trust the Indians because we paid them to do our service. Have you guys had this scam where someone texts you, you go back and forth, and it's eventually a pretty Asian woman? I've had this 10 times. How does the text messaging begin? Hey.

You block that immediately. If I get a text from someone I don't know, I block it. I guess. I don't know. I'm like, who's this? And then it goes back and forth for a little bit. I can't receive messages or calls from anyone who I don't have added as a contact on my phone. So it doesn't happen anymore.

I miss stuff that matters to me. But I will admit I get a lot of shit that doesn't matter to me. Yeah. Yeah. No. matters to me but i i will admit i get a lot of shit that doesn't matter to me yeah yeah um no i i you know i i use messengers anyway or apps um i don't really text or call people it's not hard to get this messenger to eventually send a picture of herself and she's always some really pretty woman it's g-rated if that's what you're thinking and then that's where i stop and i'm like what is the profit like where does the money come in i'm a million miles away from like giving you my credit card or whatever like how do you text someone now if they text me and say hey your netflix bill isn't getting

paid right now click here and update your payment information i can see how people fall for that right not me the url was fucking like you fell asleep on the keyboard but somebody might fall for that i don't know how we get to this like we're friends going back and forth to me giving them cash i do i do so one of my dad's i wouldn't say friends but just just somebody he heard talking about this. It's like a friend of a friend. He had an internet girlfriend. I don't know how he fucking found her or something,

but this is a good old boy who thinks that he is texting back and forth with a woman who's on a military base in Korea. She's an American woman who's on a military base in Korea, so that's the reason the hours are going to be weird and that sometimes he won't be able to get in touch with her. These are great. All of a sudden, oh, you said you're going to call me today. Yeah, we had orders because of blah, blah, blah.

Or, oh, you can't talk during the day? No, because I'm in Korea and the time's back. Would you like to be up from anywhere? It led to them pretending like there was going to be this whole relationship but needed a little cash this month to do this or that and so it started off with little things and then slowly he's giving more and more money lately and until the point where he's giving lots of money and now she needs some air travel and he hit her and you know then you get all of his money for this expensive plane ticket that she needs to buy, right?

Yeah. Because she has to get the plane ticket. You couldn't possibly buy a plane ticket in someone else's name. Impossible. Nothing. No, no. Because of my military. You couldn't just type her name in. No, because of my military discount.

I can't. No, you don't understand. My clearance. It's because of her fuffle. You cannot be buying me a ticket to go there. I have to buy my own way. So give me your leader does not allow this. No,

no, she's not a North Korean. She's an American like service woman serving in South Korea. If I said North Korea somewhere along the way, I didn't mean to know. I was joking about North Korea. That was a scam that got ran on this dude. And like,

he was strung along for a long time thinking he had, look at my pretty girlfriend from the internet. You know, it was that's really that's really sad it's sad to see people get scammed yeah because it's just cruel old people just cool especially when it's old people and it's the retirement stuff and they just don't understand the technology or what they're agreeing to or what you're signing up for it's like they don't even realize the danger of what they're doing and anyone in the laps can get taken by something like that i mean not like if you know not i mean look at the irs calls you on the phone like look at me in the little caesars situation all right it doesn't get much worse than that heartbreaking heartbreaking yeah yeah yeah it's really heartbreaking you didn even, and you only got one piece of your pizza.

Well, I guess that was your decision, right? I actually ate some of the cheesy sticks. I ate that part, a good bit of that. That was pretty tasty. And I tried the Mountain Dew because I hadn't had a Mountain Dew in a very long time. Still tastes awful. Mountain Dew sucks. It is a bottom tier soda.

It tastes like yellow sugar. it tastes like yellow sugar it tastes like yellow sugar like a mountain dew but there's like 20 different mountain dews now like there's like southern thunder mountain dew like they just keep making new ones why don't they just make a new goddamn soda why is that a bit anyway they should i mean cola is just better like then those like too sweet like live wire style so even when i was someone told me that mountain dew someone told me mcdonald's has like a proprietary unique soda fountain and that that's why their sprite is better than any other sprite um because of the way they make it or something i thought they all just had to really i always like with coke yeah yeah which

i guess it's the same same company yeah but like mcdonald's in particular like their machines are like better or something like they've got special machines is what i was told or they have like a deal with coke to get the good syrup i don't know you would think coke would want their product to be same everywhere right like have a standard you get if you get used to just drink like i pretty much just drink canned soda when i drink soda and i say when i drink soda is if i don't drink diet soda fucking constantly but like you realize how shitty a lot of soda is when you go to a restaurant you're like oh i'll have a diet pepsi and it's just dog shit flat old horrible yeah diet diet soda is always really bad when you get it from a fast food place.

Because I don't drink soda. Whenever I add that to a meal, it's just an afterthought because I'm not going to drink it. I'm going to pour it out. Yeah, but from a fast food place, it's shit. Like on ice or whatever, it's shit. But I like Coke Zero and anything that says Zero. I think there's a sun

kiss zero and a ginger ale zero like all those are good the sun kiss zero tastes fucking weird i tried it i didn't know they all taste a little weird it's acquired there are they're acquired tastes like the a and w is a good zero monster energy drink the i don't know if it's zero calories i think it's not i think it's like 20 or 40 or something. It definitely gives you some energy. It works as well as, I think, the sugar monster energy drink if you're trying to stay awake. Definitely, because it's still got the same amount of caffeine. The only difference

would be the sugar. That's your answer right there. Zach says that McDonald's sets their syrup to water ratio for sodas to account for melting ice. That's why their sodas are better. If you order your soda with no ice, you get a mega soda. The more you know.

I've got to go to McDonald's and get a nice big Diet Coke. You're going to order a soda from McDonald's right now? I want to test this. I want to see if McDonald's Sprite is going to taste Tell me how much a big cup of McDonald's Sprite is to your house on that app.

I bet it's $14. I'm going to order other things. I'm closing soon. Well, never mind. It worked out. You want to play some Call of Duty with us later? Just not yet. Because I know as soon as Call of Duty or as soon as Vermintide or Darktide comes out,

we're just going to play that. You're not going to jump back into COD once we're done. I'm up all night right now, though. I was just thinking, my sleep schedule is so fucked up. I stayed up all night last night, and then the goddamn dog woke me up and went, oh, let me just start from the beginning. Last night I was sitting right here playing Call of Duty in the darkness, as I do,

and Rocky, the Malamute, runs into here. He never comes up the stairs and into here. He lays on the floor downstairs. It's cold. He stays there all the fucking time. Runs in here, and he's all zoomied up. I'm like, what the fuck? What are you all excited for?

Only time I ever see you get the zoomies is after you take a shit and then i'm already performing a theory and then the little and then and then um uh my puppy uh toby comes like storming in after him and they're like palling around together and dancing and i'm like i'm like i'm fucking getting my ass kicked at Call of Duty, of course. And man, something really smells in here. These dogs really smell. And somebody goes, well, if your dogs smell, you know, you got to give them a bath regularly. And I'm like, God, another fucking autistic person.

Do you think that I am unaware of why my dogs smell bad? And it's not covered. No, there's a new smell that has come into the room, you fool. I get up and go for a walk and they had a shit party on the landing.

They had a shit party where the big dog took a huge, massive dump and then the puppy had diarrhea down the fucking carpeted stairs and so i i walked back in here i walked back in here and said boys you'll need a few minutes here i'm gonna play a few without me and i got out the guy i had to get out the steam cleaner had to had to get assistance had to had to had to like put my vicks vapor rub under my nose like i'm like i'm it's an autopsy

yeah because i'll gag um and i guess the fuck son of a bitch that fucking son of a bitch i'm done with the dog so the big dog has pooped in the house twice which one's the big one at this point the malamute that is is like 65 fucking pounds the puppy is huge but like 25 or 30 pounds or something like that he eats more food than anybody he eats more than i eat he's more than his hairstyle is just a full body afro which adds to his size he's a badass he's gonna be so cool but i'm done cleaning up his messes um he is he is he's getting great trains now you're doing himself from now're crate training now. The reason is I was too kind to crate train him because he cries when you

crate train him. But that's the effective way to house break them in my experience. So that's what's happening now. I'm going to give him a Benadryl and a half and dope him up. I'm going to throw him in that kennel, throw a blanket over it, give him his water, and that's where he's sleeping. And when he comes out of there, he's going outside and he's going to poop and pee. Andel, throw a blanket over it, give him his water. And that's where he's sleeping.

And when he comes out of there, he's going outside and he's going to poop and pee. And then we're coming inside. And that's it. That's it. So I don't know how dogs respond to Benadryl. My guess is that you're researched and you know what you're doing. But one thing that we used to give our dogs CBD sometimes because they just be. Jackie was watching these kids and the dogs would be like just anxious all day long like strangers are in the house they didn't calm and we would give them uh like these cbd dog relaxing

pills yeah yeah i may do that then um i they have accidentally gotten into gummies before and gone on a fucking trip that that one dog i felt so bad for which dog um it's it's a the small german shepherd she's like 50 pounds or something like that and she was like just like looking at me and i was like what the fuck did you get into and i start running around looking for i um like like rat poison or something i just had moved into this place like anything i don't know and i found a chewed up thing of gummies. One of the plastic packs. I'm like, oh shit.

She had multiple death by gummies? I don't know how many she ate. Oh fuck. I had a couple of these. One will knock you for a loop. She was fucked up. I'm 200 pounds. She's 50.'s 50 and a dog her liver doesn't process it as well i bet like i bet we've got like super livers as people anyway she fucking all day and all night

she that happened 10 a.m 11 a.m something like that and i noticed it was 4 a.m the next morning when she said like wagged her tail for the first time to like hey i think i'm hey everybody i'm okay again all right she was just lying there like looking you could tell that she wasn't just sleepy she was tripping she was like crazy eyes like looking at me like i didn't look right to her. She was like, the fuck, man? I'm sure you didn't. She was tripping. As a dog, that's horrifying because you have no conception of what's going on.

All of your perception changes and you don't know what's happening. That'd be scary. They're fucking cocksuckers, man. That puppy especially. The reason I jumped up earlier, I don't know if you saw, I quickly got up um he had the ethernet cable cable he's downstairs with the ethernet cable pulling it and i can see it like flicking behind my pc and i and when i got there he had already like his little teefees had already made some little nicks in it he chewed through one

the other day i have a backup in a drawer downstairs in case he goes all the way through it. He's a motherfucker. He's a motherfucker. He is big and goofy. When you pick him up now, he's a handful. This is Rocky? No, this is Toby. This is Toby. Is Toby making Rocky look lower

maintenance now? Toby makes everything look low maintenance. Toby always has to... Toby is screaming right now in another part of the house. He's screaming. It makes it seem way worse. He's part dog, part screecher pillar. No, he screams.

When I wake up in the morning, I have slept on the couch since I got him because I don't want him upstairs because I don't want to make a mess upstairs. Because if we sleep together, I figured as soon as he moves, I can get him outside. I'm failing at housebreaking him. That's another story.

That's why I'm downstairs with him. But when we get up... That's why we're renting. Yeah. Oh, my God. When I get up with him, he's super vocal. He's like... I'm like, yeah, let's fucking go outside.

You ready, buddy? He's like... Toby does this? Yeah, yeah. I love fucking go outside. You ready, buddy? Toby does this? I love vocal dogs. I expected it from Rocky. When dogs give you those little vocalizations, it's just adorable. Huskies do that a lot. For some reason, Rocky

doesn't make any noise at all. I like that, too. I've seen him bark and growl but only to like punk out the neighbor's dog like he'll run up to the fence they've got and you can like see through the fence and they've got beagles so he's just like what the fuck you want motherfucker and there's like shit what are you they're like don't make fun he can't control that like

they're like which one of us is he looking at i think he's really mad at you or me i don't know i don't know but we're not gonna be able to sneak up on him no he's a good boy they um i've been i don't know i like my dogs a lot but but they're a fucking handful, especially that fucking puppy. I bet. There's an argument made for getting older dogs.

That's why I got the retarded dog. Not that he's retarded. He is, but he is. It's undeniable. It's going to be like the potty training training for the dogs it's like a steep learning curve you know what i mean we're like very quickly after you're doing it for a bit boom like he's gonna make a ton of progress and just kind of get it you know

like that's how most dogs are like they just kind of get it at some point it seems like he's got it but then like he just doesn't because every when we go outside he immediately pees or poops like it seems like he knows this is the place where we do that but then he'll also like take a double decker shit the the moment i'm not watching him like like like he will take two huge shits rapidly back to back and then like a five minute period it's it's it's very upsetting does he like try and trick you to go outside just to play and not go to the bathroom or is he not really pull that no when we go outside he he like always goes to the bathroom and like does it like he's he's down to do it he it's just he's shitting so much like he shits 10 times a day like he's

constantly shitting i think that's a big part of it. You're just having to hit it 10 times a day. When he's done growing and he's pooping twice a day, it'll be easier. It's continuous all day. He's eating way more. He eats three times a day. I take the bowl that you would eat cereal out of

and fill it half full of kibble and then half full of that shit you have to keep in the refrigerator and he eats all of that and he wants more after that and he tries to steal it from the other dog and so i have to feed him in a fucking kennel i have to like lock him up to feed him so he doesn't steal extra food from the others yeah he's a motherfucker um but uh but i guess i'm good i'm glad i got him he's a motherfucker. But I guess I'm glad I got him. He's turned out to be the cheaper of the two dogs. I love the idea of the $25 dog failing so spectacularly. That vet keeps calling me. She's like, I want to talk to you about his liver enzymes.

I'm like, fuck you. His liver enzymes are fine. He had a stuffy nose, you bitch. You hit me for $1,200. He hasn't said anything about his liver enzymes are fine he had a stuffy nose you bitch you hit me for twelve hundred dollars he hasn't said anything about his liver if he wants to drink i let him drink he hasn't said shit about his liver he wants his stuffy nose fixed you cunt stop overcharging me and billing me for shit i don't need i got i got the x-rays i got the blood work i'm done she's like she's like we'd like to do some more blood work and i'm like no

yeah what is he gonna is he on juice he's gonna come back with extremely high or something what are you trying to find in my dog and she's like i don't know we just want to figure out where you know what might potentially be wrong and i'm like well we're not going to get him brain surgery or anything so like maybe no cat scans you know like look if i came here to fix the stuffy nose anyway i have a hard time i have a hard time dealing with that veterinarian i'm going to go to a new vet from now on i've already found a new vet i'm gonna go to them are they like guilt tripping you trying or just no no i just feel like when i go in there like at this point i've been there twice and i'm 1200 bucks in and we

haven't and the stuffy nose still isn't exactly fixed and i just want the stuffy nose medicine like i don't want any more exotic antibiotics you dog to the vet for a stuffy nose medicine like i don't want any more exotic antibiotics dog to the vet for his stuffy nose like it's really stuffy yes he can't breathe through his like like when it's it was infected and green mucus was coming out and he couldn't breathe and he was like laying on his side drooling out of his mouth because he could only breathe through his mouth which gave him a cough and he's swallowing so much mucus that that makes you're right you're not done yes he swallowed the mucus continuously so he's nauseous all the time mucus that that makes him... You're right. You're a good dog owner. He has to swallow the mucus continuously, so he's nauseous all the time, so he can't eat.

He went a day and a half eating nothing, and he was already underweight. Then I had to give him people food. My knee-jerk reaction was, why would you get a dog to stuff your neck? It doesn't bother me at all. Yeah. Well, you got to look out for your...

You do put a stuffy nose. My dog sneezed before I'd ever rushed to the vet but i didn't rush but like after a week of him but he also does this reverse breathing thing i don't know how to describe it but he's like yeah like he'll do that for a long time trying to clear it that's i guess that's a dog version of blowing your nose i want to get over there with like a saline like like a neti pot i want to fucking like blow his fucking snoot out but i know it's not like a human nose there's there's a lot going on in there i don't know i don't know what happens if you put an air compressor up in one nostril but you could find out no you get a lot of a mess to clean up it sounds like cleaning you gotta get a new dog that's what that's what do it outside fucking dog no um but they're only 25 bucks kyle get another one

no such thing it's a 25 dog that's true oh man um he's a good boy though i like i like giving him scritches and and for like five minutes every other day he's he's really happy like he gets real excited he's like hey this is fun for a minute day, he's really happy. He gets real excited. He's like, hey, this is fun for a minute. And then he's like, all right, back to the nap. That's it. I like dogs that nap.

That's a quality in a dog that I appreciate. I would say he sleeps 18 to 20 hours a day. That's better than a dog that needs to be worked all day. If you get a dog that's bred to manage sheep and you don't have any sheep, you've got a problem. If you get an Australian Shepherd or a Border manage sheep and you don't have any sheep, you've got a problem. If you get an Australian shepherd or a Border Collie, they have to be running constantly. He eats better than most people.

I got that shit you have to refrigerate. When you open the bag, it smells good. It smells like food. It's seasoned and has spices, I suppose. You give him hot food. No. It's this bag. It's called Fresh Pet.

And it has white meat, chicken, and these chunks of... I don't know. You have to keep it in the refrigerator because it's like you pour it out of the bag. It's dry but wet at the same time. It's like food. It's like real human food that goes bad if they don't eat it. Probably expensive.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it eat it. Probably expensive. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's $5 a pound. Jesus Christ. I think you gotta buy it like five pounds at a time maybe. I'd have to look again. Whatever it costs.

They love it. It is pretty cool that they treat their food like they see their food like treats. When it's time to eat, they're like shit can we have like our food because that's like the best thing we've ever had and then i went like sweet i go to the i go to the deli at public's and i get like a pound of white meat chicken that they just pull off the rotisserie chickens and i give them that all day so they love me everybody's like these dogs love you i'm like yeah i have chicken in my pocket right now they got it pretty good around here yeah they're living the life with you getting

high quality five dollar a pound food bits of chicken i'm easy to go to the store i'm really easy to guilt because like i'll start thinking about i don't know i heard this quote when i remember who said it but somebody was like they're your whole you're their whole life and i'm like fuck man don't lay that on me i wanted to play call of duty today like like you think they'll be okay like playing together today or do i need to be down there like and i'm like most people don't treat their kids this well dude just chill like like everybody's got their kids in daycare with somebody else and they put them to bed at night. That's it.

I like my dogs a lot. I like my dogs a lot. Yeah, they're good boys. You're taking tremendous care of them. Rocky is so lucky that you picked him up. That's true. Me too. I'm glad we found... We're both equally blessed i suppose glad i found him

walked into each other's lives at the perfect time he'd be dead now for sure he'd be dead now for sure um because he was at that kill shelter um so i guess good for him but there was another dog there that was cooler i should have gotten and she she wouldn't have any health problems she looked she looked pretty great she had like crazy blue eyes and you can go pop in again shut up and no more dogs you just said you were gonna get another dog i mean maybe one more dog the next dog will be little though if i get another dog it'll be i'm probably gonna wait till one of my dogs dies or just get a tiny dog. One of our dogs, Harley, is skin and bone. If you saw her, ever see a zombie dog?

And you're like, oh, yeah, look at that one. The flesh is rotted off her body. She's adjacent to that. You can see all her ribs. You can see her hips. She doesn't seem to be in pain. But she clearly can't keep weight on anymore. She's very elderly. Yeah.

She's like nine, which is a year longer than Great Danes live. She might be 10. And so I see this and I'm like, oh, it's sad. Every time she asks for love and attention, I give it to her because you don't know. It could literally be her last day, any one of these days now. Jackie, meanwhile, is like, what do you think of this one? Show me new Great Dane puppies. She's not even in the ground yet. What website is she using?

What's that? What website does she use? I don't know, actually. She hands it to the computer to me. Surprisingly, puppies.com is the way to go. Really? Puppies.com. Are you going go really yeah puppies.com are you gonna do a great dane again almost certainly yeah last time we did a dog we kind of did like

i was like all right let's open our mind to the other ones do we want a mastiff do we want a wolf do we want this do we want that and we landed on great dane we like so that's what we like if that's what you like do it yeah yeah i want kyle to get a little dog i just love little dogs just a little if you got a little pomeranian or a little shih tzu or uh bichon frise of those three i would absolutely recommend bichons they're my mother had smart smart they're very smart and very cute they they're quick they learn tricks like they're just adorable and you can get old for like 11 years like a year's 10 through 21 i mean like a great dane looks at a shih tzu the way like the humans look at elves and lord of the

rings they're just like oh these dogs never die they just keep going and little energizer bunnies but yeah i i like that about little dog like one of the biggest reasons other than like great dane that's too much dog i don't want a great dane but like the fact that they would only live seven eight years like i can just imagine like looking at my three and a half year old great dane and being like you can't be halfway dead already like like that can't, that would just be really sad. I, our last great Dane lived a five.

That was pretty sad. Like we didn't expect that. Um, but these great Danes have both surpassed that. That's good. What's the oldest one you've ever had? It would have to be Harley. And I don't know,

she might be almost 10. Okay. How old can a dog? What's like the oldest dog ever? Do they make it ever to 20s? Yeah. Yeah, they get into their little ones can, like a Dijon might. My dad has that dog right now that's like, it was born in 2003 or 2004. So it's like 18 or 19 now.

Yeah. It's an old dog. How's it doing? You know, he'll barely get around and like barely seeing here but like lives on the couch cushion and eats people food now like she's in the she's in the uh retirement home over there with dad you know living the good living the best life she can i guess oh zach's telling us an australian shepherd named bluey lived 29 years, five months. Good boy.

That's like Australian, almost unbelievably old. 30, almost 30 years old. It's a breed that is expected to live 13 to 15 years and a male 30 to 35 pounds. It must be a Japanese Australian cattle dog because you know how the Japanese are. They just keep living and living there.

They are the best at that. They live the longest, I think, right? Japanese that they eat pretty good against it. I know they do sometimes live long. I feel like I read something like of the super centenarians, like the people who are like over the age of 110 or something, like an enormous percentage of them live in Japan. Like of the whole global population, it's like 70%.

I'm impressed with your vocabulary. A centenarian is someone who's over 100? Yeah, and I think a super centenarian is someone who's like over 110 or something so pause here what is over 40 oh not impressive is there are you a pentanarian may i i feel like you have to get to seven before people are like okay and even this like eights when it starts getting more impressive so seven is septonarian help me yeah i think that sounds right yeah octogenarian octogenarian so septogenarian octogenarian nonagenarian would that be it like what is it called i thought you'd know these i thought i was like man taylor's here i'm gonna take advantage of 40 through 110 while while i have him i don't fucking know you confidently i just said because like after octillion would not it goes to nonillion

and so like maybe i don't know i was in there i can't come up with one for none i knew the others and that's where i'm stuck. Non-agenarian. Non-agenarian. Yep. Spell it right. A person who's from 90 to 99 years old. A centenarian and a super centenarian. What's 40? Oh, wow.

It works. Quadrogenarian. It is a quadrogenarian. Are you guys getting it in the chat? No, no. I Googled it maybe. I'm a quadrogenarian. You are. I expect a little respect on my name.

What's the age that if someone makes it to, you're like, that's a good run? Like if you're in a graveyard or something. 80, okay. 80. Because that's where I want to go. You know, let me take that back. Let me take that back.

Here's the thing. What a modern 80-year-old is like now is is what i want right because it changes every so by the time you're 80 that'll be like 70 and no longer cool i think by the time i'm 80 i'll be like i want to go to 90 but right now i'm like i want to go to 80 because what an 80 year old looks like right now is pretty decent. But I think by the time I get there, I'll be like, turns out better than we thought. Because, you know, that that gene splicing thing, everybody got, you know, got 15 shaved off. You know, everybody got it because of the Trump care. And now and now we're the most, you know, the best working force on the planet.

Imagine that every American got 15 years shaved off. We're all we're all better at force on the planet. Imagine that. Every American got 15 years shaved off. We're all better at our jobs. Everyone's got hair. Yeah, all the babies. Imagine all the hot chicks you'd create. Oh, it'd be great. Yeah. What are we talking about?

A bunch of 25-year-olds that look 10. Yeah. Just not helpful. Like the 15 years you don't want to go back you have to do school again so when i when i hear someone went 80 i'm like yeah that's a pretty damn good run because the 90s just seem like they're worthless to me currently even clint eastwood is like 93 i think roughly whatever but he's an exception he's like the exception of the rule you've got like a millionaire like fit guy clearly stayed fit his whole life on purpose um and still that's like shit he's not jogging is he still getting laid probably not I bet if he wants to, he is.

I guess if he wants to. I mean, I'm sure the hardware could muster, but I don't know if he's still got the will. He was a mayor in the 80s? I didn't know. Mayor of Carmel-by-the-Sea.

He's a Republican. He is a Republican. Yep. He had that thing where he spoke to the empty chair with Obama. I even made fun of it. But in truth, I did get it. I was just making fun of it.

If people don't know, he went up, I think it was the Republican National Convention, and he talked to an empty chair. And in that, he sort of dressed down the chair about all the things that it was doing wrong and clearly he was pretending obama was in the chair but everyone mocking him pretended that he thought obama was in the chair when no he's way more with it than that and i think they asked him to like what is it called when they impromptu something ad lib what am i looking for improv thank you yeah i think he had to improv that whole speech i'm not sure about that though so it was a lot better than improvving a whole speech would be hard yeah i i think he's a he's

a good speaker and he's passionate about what he was talking about i like clint acewood a lot i love his movies i like the ones that he directs more than the ones he acted in and that's saying something because he's one of my favorite actors he directed other than uh gran torino he's done all of his stuff for unforgiven he directed unforgiven um that's if you've never seen the unforgiven that's that's like the anti-western that that that's he he bought the rights to that when he was a younger man and he waited until he was old enough to play the role. And it's tremendous. He plays William Money,

a retired gunfighter and criminal who comes out of retirement when the opportunity to make good on a bounty that's been set on a man who cut up a whore's face comes up. This man uh the horse laughed

at his little dick he pulled out his knife mutilated her and so all the other whores said oh you're not gonna lynch him you're not gonna hang him you're not even gonna whip him we got a thousand dollars for anybody who kills him and word goes far and wide um and so the the town sheriff is gene hackman uh at his best another great actor i like him playing a classic western sheriff who's who's who's done the rounds he's been to all the big cities and seen all the bad men as he says and william money plays the traditional outlaw who's throughout the film they have this recurring theme where morgan freeman his best friend does remember that time you did this and that crazy things you know and and and plenty was i'm not like that anymore i'm not like that anymore um it's a it's a great western it's one

of my favorites it's a different kind of western it's it's a it's an anti-western in a lot of ways like you'll see when you watch it but i love it it's top three westerns of all time maybe my best the only things i put ahead of it would be lonesome dove but that's a whole goddamn mini series it's like five hours six hours of content or something and it wins just i mean it looks like unforgiven is one of the highest rated movies of all time on rotten tomatoes i can do the whole last scene i can do the whole last scene by memory. I haven't seen it. I should watch it. I should watch this. It's weird seeing Clint Eastwood be in his 60s in a movie

from when I was one. He's like 50 there. He's still around. No, he's 62 there. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. She's born in 1930 and this is 1992. Yeah, that's the final scene of that movie.

Might be my favorite scene in any movie um it the god don't rehearse it don't rehearse i'm not okay i'm not gonna but i was gonna say the godfather scene where um where he shoots the captain of the police and um and uh what's his name bronzini or whatever italian whatever the fuck that scene might be my favorite scene in any movie and then um the scene where jack is walking his wife up the stairs in the shining and she's like yeah up there too give me the bat i'm gonna bash your brains in i haven't seen that in a while but yeah i highly recommend unforgiven tremendous western tremendous glenn eastwood movie um um he's good he's good at everything he's done i need to re-watch the shining that is such a fucking great movie i love the shining

there's a sequel to it um um there was a sequel to the book, obviously written by Stephen King. I think it's called Dr. Sleep. Um, and they, and they made the movie too. It, it stars, um, McGregor, the one that, that, um, not called Ewan McGregor. Um, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, it, it stars him and, uh, it's pretty good. I don't, I don't know if I, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's pretty good. It's the one with the, the, with the weird vampires who feed on children.

That's the sequel. And Danny, the child from The Shining, he's all grown up. He's Ewan McGregor. And he still has The Shining, the mental abilities or whatever. Is this new? Yeah, it's new.

It's less than five years old, probably around two or three years old. I feel like I would have heard about a Shining sequel if it was really good. I think it's called dr sleep it's pretty good you know how stephen king adaptations go it's not the masterpiece that the shining was but it's a decent movie i just like that if you want to see a child you're talking about the last scenes of movies like the last scene of the shining where it has that very like warbled distorted timing music.

And it's slowly zooming in on the group photo that has Nicholson there. That does such a tremendous job of just like unsettling me and making me feel like, so like, Oh, this is, this is wrong. Like this is like,

there's something about it's great. That movie does such a great job making you feel unsettled. The bar scene is a classic for a reason like that dialogue is perfect you feel so unnerved and the bathroom the bathroom scene i like more the bathroom scene with uh with the two of them that one's a little more intense yeah are you aware that your son has brought a ninja into the scenario. And Nicholson's like, a ninja?

And he's like, and his pops for a second, yes, a ninja. And they're not saying ninja. They're talking about that carekeeper fella. And I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen The Shining. It's either the best movie that's ever been made or the second best it's one of the other

uh it's very fucking good one of the best horror movies of all time yeah probably second best horror movie behind the thing there's also if you want something cool to watch the scary there's the barbarian that just came out i think it's um it's free to watch somewhere i haven't checked it out yet that's the airbnb scary one where she shows up to the airbnb there's already a guy there and he's like come on stay if i can take a picture of my id send it to your friends like lock yourself in the room i'm not a crazy person you can't go out there where are you gonna go and they agree to stay and then things get creepy um and then i watched nope finally by jordan peele which i thought was tremendous i really liked that uh that was

i don't know that had me going for a while and when i finally like got to the bottom of everything i was pleasantly surprised and i thought it was cool what they did and their visual effects were really neat and there were times when um you know the movie's called nope and i think kind of the idea is that if a black person was in a horror movie they'd be like nope and just turn around and like like and and there's a couple times in the movie where it's like a white person would have died right here a white person would have got the fuck out of the car a white person would have opened that door and he's just like I want to see it now.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that was the idea at all. It's not the idea. I don't think, but it's there. It's definitely there. And it happens a couple of times. I mean,

I don't think I'd be brave enough in any, like that's, that's the thing in every horror movie, right? Is you watch and you're thinking like, get out of there. Stop that. Don't do that.

That's foolish. Like, sure. Do you think you'd be brave enough if there's a ghoul on you and even if you don't believe in ghouls and goblins and you hear a screech behind you are you popping out of your fucking rental car and going get off my ass like it's a pit like i'm in a way i'm not going looking for anything but like you know if the ghoul grabs taylor i'm gonna have to help right like i'm not gonna leave you behind i appreciate that man well i'm not gonna let the ghoul grabs Taylor, I'm going to have to help, right? Like, I'm not going to leave you behind. I appreciate that, man. Well, I'm not going to let the ghouls get you.

No, I would do the same for both of you. Once they feed on your biomass, there's no way Woody and I could contend with them. There's no stopping them. I mean, I have to be 200,000 calories. Once the ghouls have Taylor, it's do or die right here. We have to win. Sometimes it seems like there's very specific rules like they can't exit the shadow they can only attack when you're not looking

and i'm like well why don't they set up the situation to be more to their advantage but why is it their wall at your back they can only attack you from the back put a wall at your back there's a youtube channel and they go through every scary movie ever and they they're like point by point and they're like point by point. And they're like, why didn't they just do this instead? Would have been very easy just to drive away here or make a phone call. Oh,

I can't remember. But, but they, it's called how to survive and then enter a scary movie. Um, do that. And he just goes through like, not just sometimes the very beginning,

you know, it's like, Hey, turn around and you live. Right. But it's not that simpleton and silly it's like point by point it's like what you want to do here is hit them in the knees and then go yeah they'll actually be some like some stuff some substance to it they're fun but most horror movies now require you to get cell phones out of the equation um and yeah so there's always got to be a reason for that cell phones

have to be eliminated for a huge amount even stuff like seinfeld like their cell phones would have ruined most seinfeld episodes i think um the ritual is another good movie that's on netflix i've seen it we're doing scary movies yeah i liked it and um and the burbs if you want to feel good scary movie that's family friendly the burbs with tom h with Tom Hanks and Corey Feldman. That has to be an old movie. It is an old movie, The Birbs. Very good movie. Corey Feldman, I wonder what happened to him, what's up with him. He was doing that whole tour last year, talking about the pedophiles in Hollywood that touched him. But wasn't the tour

like raise money and i'll tell you who it was yep we got we did one of those things raise money yep no he finally named the guy um and it i remember he named it and i was like oh okay so he does that and he produced this okay cool never all right and that was it like he eventually named names i mean a quick google search would render it but i don't remember the name i honestly don't um i guess i didn't care enough to commit that one to memory i i was never he said that uh charlie sheen he claimed that charlie sheen had raped his then 13 year old core star that's why i don't remember that's why i don't remember i didn't believe it it doesn't seem likely that charlie sheen would be guilty of sexual assault

no he does have aids though and he raped not the type no he didn't do any of those things i think i think charlie sheen is one of my favorite he's another loony guy is he yeah he wasn't isn't he like a fucking maniac yelling about tiger blood and like didn't he do all that shit i think you're saying winner winning he was yelling about winning that he was letting look i mean he was winning right do you remember how that thing went uh it seemed like he was winning until like eight months later when he was like actually secretly that was horrible i don't remember that i remember a while later he got aids and then it was like well the party's over now he's got fucking aids can't bang those those two gram

rocks when you got aids can you not i mean he he elected not to so i'm gonna assume um no i just i really enjoyed that whole tiger blood uh charlie sheen that was a fun time that's probably 10 years ago 10 plus years ago now right 12 years ago probably a bit oh no no maybe 10 or 12 where i was telling i was explaining to someone the whole history of like uh wings of redemption um last night because they didn't know it they're like the whole like They were like, so Taylor replaced him, right? I'm like, no, no, no. That's a common misconception. That's a common misconception.

That's a bit of Wings propaganda. They broke the whole thing down. That's funny. I don't know what he's up to now. I haven't heard anything about wings because I never look. It gets shown to me. And I refuse to look because then I feel like I've dirtied my hands.

Right? But if I sit over here and somebody's like, hey, Kyle, look. I'm like, goodness, what did he do this time? Then I can watch guilt-free. It'd be like if you slipped, say, some fat full cheese into my lunch every day for a year. I've enjoyed the cheese guilt-free it'd be like if you slipped say some fat full cheese into my lunch every day for a year i've enjoyed the cheese guilt-free i just can't like watch like like i get so much

fatty substances that make us happy like all the wing stuff like it just makes me sad like it just makes me sad for him like yeah i don't know in the way you guys do obviously but like when i see a million videos of the downfall of this guy and oh mock him for this and that it's like yeah i genuinely feel like a lot of punishment doesn't fit the crime it's like fucked up the amount he is messed with and like in like he does a very bad job of mitigating it he does things that He does a very bad job of mitigating it. He does things that aren't what you... I'll correct that. That aren't what I would do

to mitigate it if I were in his circumstances. A long, far cry from that to how any of the three of us would handle it. I wouldn't mitigate it. I'd monetize it. I have an idea. We thought about this a while back. I thought about this a while back. I'll take credit for the blame. Either or.

I would like Wings to come on the show for a segment. And I would like his wife to come as well. And I would love to play the newlywed game. And anyone who doesn't know what the newlywed game is, we'd separate them, sequester them if you will. And they'd both be asked questions and we'd separate them sequester them if you will and they'd both be asked questions and we'd bring them back together questions about one another and the relationship nothing mean or anything just fun jokey stuff and then they come back and they compare their answers and they sort of they we get them to write on a marker board yeah i'll mail you the fucking marker board

and uh i just think that'd be really fun it'd be be a fun segment. It'd be nice to touch base with Wings. Look, we've had people come on who had like some wild stuff going on. And we didn't touch on it because they didn't want to talk about it. Wings doesn't want to talk about something. We're not going to talk about it. But it'd be nice to touch base with a friend. Dirty asked me last night, when's the last time you played games with Wings? And I was like, shoot.

I played PUBG with Wings like five years ago. He's like, would you play games with with with wings and i was like like i played pub g with wings like five years ago he's like would you play with him i'm like yeah i guess i mean yeah if you want to play some cod i play with wings but i'd like to know how he's doing with this game honestly with it with his play style because i can't tell if this is a slow game or a fast game because when i watch people on twitch they're fast but they're always fast because the best in the world when i watch my friends play they're fast but they're always fast because they're the best in the world. When I watch my friends play, they're fast, but they're always fast because they're some of the better players that play the game.

I wonder if the right play style is in the back behind a box with some Claymores and an M16. I don't know. Or a sniper rifle or something. Let's wrap it up while Taylor's away and just disappear on him. Alright. PKA620. Fire cum pills.