Painkiller Already - PKA 625 W/ Filthy: EDP Caught Again, WNBA Star Traded For White Man, Sunning Your Hole

Episode Date: December 9, 2022

pka 625 with our guest filthy robot taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lock and load blue chew wonky weeds and minibus another company whose mission statement is to get you high we'll find out more about them later who would have guessed our audience loves getting high our audience loves hard dicks while they're high like i just like to imagine them all like like stoned dicks out listening to this just just just fucking edging and like till the till four hours is up and then just never understood it with four hours now it makes sense yeah we've had sponsors come and go through this show some are big hits some are a miss but when it comes to fucking and getting high that's what our audience is all we found our niche okay timeless classic we need to remember a hundred percent food do you guys remember that

oh yeah damn it didn't last long with us one time if you guys if you guys don't remember like we had this sponsor that was uh called 100 food and they like literally sent you a plastic jug with like even the seal at the top looked like chintzy and crappy but like it was it didn't have a liquid in it and you had to add your own water and then shake this bird seed up in there and it was was like, disgusting. It was vile. They told us in the message to be honest. Yeah. Quick crete. That's what it seems like. If you've ever made quick crete,

like fill in, you know, a pothole or something, you made your own at home and then you ate this shit. And it was like, guys, you're selling protein powder with seeds in it, in a jar.

And, and like in the ad read, they were like, you can be honest, riff it up, have a good time. And it's like, you sure?

They sent us shit and so and so like we i think in the in in the read we said like three times and they told us we could say whatever we wanted so it's shit don't buy it unless it's a joke gift great joke gift because it tasted it wasn't like $3 a pop or $5. It was like, I don't know, $25. Do you have cracks in your sidewalk? Do we have the product for you? Spackle. Absolute dog shit. Filthy, it's good to have you back.

I love this house you're in. So beautiful. So real. Because I'm squinting. I'm like, what? there's two backgrounds from your program that this is one of them so i changed it from the last one i was using the walk this like just the brick yeah you're not still in the depressing office space at night no though that clearly that's been like three or four pks since then that i've been on since then woody but that's

clearly stuck in your head man oh it made a huge impression on me like what like what you did to make your live streams continue to happen just in the soul sucking office space like it was a mini mall at night or something it was yeah i pictured it like the kind of place like saul goodman's office was yeah that kind of mall like there's multiple places and walking distance weekends were the worst i was the only one in on weekends so it'd just be me and it'd be like you know the motion sensor lights was totally dark until i move kind of deal it's just miserable that's what my career was like man i i would frequently be like the last person at the office staying late working getting my shit done and like the hvac would turn off the lights would turn off i'd run around

flapping my arms to get the HVAC to turn back on. Did you ever do anything and take advantage of the fact you were the only one there? Like what? I guess maybe steal some office supplies. Break room to myself? Maybe if there was a minute.

I know there was at the car dealership there was a place where we couldn't go because we like at the car dealership, there was a place where like we couldn't go because it was like we were at the corporate office. So like upstairs, like that boss wasn't just like the boss of us. He was the boss of like 15 stores or something like a region of the United States. He was an intimidating guy. So like you can go in his office, but shit, we're the only ones here.

Like I'm going to look in Robert's office. It's like, yeah what it's like. Yeah. It's funny you say it because I was like, I never did anything good, but I did. I'd like going to coworkers cubes and look closely at their family photos. Judgingly. Look at this. That is psychotic.

That's so much worse than jacking off. That's so much worse than jacking off. Going around and being like, yeah off going around and being like yeah you don't even know i'm looking at your fucking beach family photograph do you howard like yeah yeah this is pretty fit i deserve a wife to be this fat and i know like um yeah sitting in the bosses like going behind the manager's uh uh thing and like like fucking around with the blue screen and teaching myself those programs. Trying to do stuff like that because we were there a lot late for whatever reason. If a customer would come in 30 minutes before closing, a lot of people don't want to fuck with that guy, but I was just hungry, I guess. Maybe literally at the time.

I'd be like, hey, sir hey sir i know it's late but we could squeeze in a car deal and my record's 30 minutes so that's what we've got and sometimes they'd say well let's see what you can do young man and it'd be like fuck am i it's it's gonna take three hours sir i was lying we're gonna be here late sir first thing you should know is that i'm a liar. Let's go pick out your new truck. Sir, I'm going to be straight with you. Don't trust me.

Yeah, because there was a guy whose credit was bad. It legitimately may have taken six or seven hours from start to finish. And a lot of it was begging someone to give him the money for this car, like weighing the op. They're like, okay, this car's this year that many miles. It's worth this much. His credit is X, Y, and Z. How much is he putting down? And just going back and forth because his numbers aren't moving. Ours have to. And me just sitting there like a

fucking clown trying to entertain this guy for hours and hours. So you as the salesman had to talk to the financial people and be like, come on, he's going to do it. He's going to pay it. Worse. I have to keep him busy while two guys do that at the same time. My manager and the finance director are over there hustling.

Because what we're trying to sell is a used Mustang Cobra with very low miles, which is kind of a weird scenario. It's a used car, but it's worth a ton. It's a very valuable used car. It's on the edge of collector's edition already, the way it was sitting there. So anyway, they got the guy the car. He paid an enormous amount for it. It was one of those deals where the rate was so bad that he was like, I'm going to pay cash, cash just not today i'll come back in three months and give you the cash i was like bullshit do it tonight we'll finance it make three

payments and then pay it off then we'll get your credit going again sir and he's like you know you're making a lot of sense it was one of those type of situations so you were helping you were improving his life yeah i'm sending him everyone knows adding a that was the motivation to adding a big car payment to your life well see he was gonna pay it right off and he had like dog shit credit he was about to like show somebody that hey not only can that i can come up with fifty thousand dollars they were he's about to prove that to somebody on his credit report that seemed like a good thing couldn't be a negative anyway i sometimes had to be that clown who was just talking to them about nonsense not even about and every now and then to be like man it's been

a long time i'm like you know it has would you like some coffee like killing hours like that with somebody who wants to leave who knew that would be a transferable skill kyle here you are doing that again yeah yeah who knew that learning to talk about nothing for hours and hours and hours and hours would be a career move speaking of nothing i've got some topics here okay i gave some thought the news has been so interesting i want to catch up with filthy too yeah god damn it i want to know what filthy you better be more interesting i i want to know what games are you playing fascinating these days you want to know games okay no games all right i said do you want to you want to talk games all right because you're

always doing fun strategy games and i like those kind of games yeah mostly give a good window into that world yeah it's been kind of a slow year for that uh a lot of a lot of small strategy games just finished a title called slipway so it was pretty nice it was kind of like a resource management puzzler kind of game. Really fun. Doing some more Warhammer 40k stuff. Playing an expansion to Demon Hunters, which was a squad-based tactical. It's a lot of fun.

But same old stuff. Mostly did a bit of magic. Kind of hated the last set, but I played it a bit until I could make myself no longer stand that game. You know, I got to that point where you're just like, fuck this fucking game and everything. It stands for such a scam. Magic together. It's like i i love like every when i when i do pop into your like twitch channel like it is the funniest vibe between the guy playing if someone is even like filthy you should play this card instead you'll just be like really you fucking retard how about you start a channel oh i'm on a five game win streak and you're gonna tell me to play this card instead. You'll just be like, really, you fucking retard?

How about you start a channel? Oh, I'm on a five-game win streak, and you're going to tell me to play this instant here? I need to save it for his turn. I need to potentially cancel his extra turn. Like, that kind of... I love that you don't... Backseat against the works, man. Zero percent of it is you like, oh, that's interesting, man.

It's like, fuck you! Even if they're telling you objectively the right move fuck you like no way i'm not doing it it's impossible it's of course an impossible situation because the the joy is you know you're playing this as a communal thing you're talking to your communities you're doing this you're working through your stuff out loud but the flip side of that is every asshole thinks they know better and if it the more common the game is the or the more played it is the more true that is and it's so much more work if this is like this is like anything else where you just throw some bullshit up on the table it takes more work to disprove the bullshit than it is the more true that is and it's so much more work if this is like this is like anything else where you just throw some bullshit up on the table it takes more work to

disprove the bullshit than it than it does to create the bullshit so you're always behind with that i just don't want it i don't want to be backseat it it's impossible you just it's just you can't win with that so have you played chess online oh my god but it sounds okay chess seems fine for backseating all right i was going through my head i bet it's which games are good for backseating which ones are bad yeah tell me that first list like a call duty game where where i'm like rinse and repeating like going into engagement somebody could be like hey i noticed that when you run your cursors low like bring it up a little bit so you're more prepared for the headshot i'd be like you know what you're fucking right i always forget i play too much of the old cause i don't aim at

heads enough i gotta click heads you, man. I'd love that. Kyle, think about it for a second. Now imagine that the same person has said that they don't actually know. They're just typing shit. And like, you don't really know if they're an expert. They've got nothing to satisfy that, that they might be an expert and they're just telling you some shit. And then the next guy, the next guy in chat tells you the opposite thing from the previous guy. And they're both yelling at you the whole time. You're like, fuck off. the opposite thing from the previous guy and they're both yelling at you the whole time you're like fuck off i don't i don't consider myself an expert in very many things at all i think that's a that's a pretty prestigious title to call yourself that but so but i'll be like trying

to get into these games i'll be trying to learn a thing and i'll be on reddit or wherever the fuck reading this nitty-gritty stuff and then i'll realize i know more than you people like all of you like wait wait a minute are you writing this article with 30 hours played in the game? I have 300, you bitch. Like, you have no idea what you're talking about. Like, 30? I didn't know shit at 30. Like, get out of here.

It opened your eyes. Like, going on any internet forum that you, like, know something about. Like, if I go to the hockey reddit so many plays i'll read and be like oh you guys didn't they did like a poll and it was like how many of you know how to skate overwhelming majority don't know how to skate and they're on there being like his his backward skating is embarrassing this and it's like like it's like you didn't play you don't really get it like in a lot of ways and then i'll go to some other topic that I am not, I have no knowledge of. And I'll be like, oh, wow, these guys know what they're talking about.

But I'm just getting fooled in the same way other people are getting fooled. I play chess online. And prior to doing it, I thought I was like a 6 out of 10 player. Once I experimented with this online play, I realized i'm like a one or a two out of ten and the chat seems to be all 10 out of 10s everything they suggested was perfect perfect beyond perfect and i think they were using computers pretending to be smarter than they thought they were and their advice was always late it was always late yeah and it was always perfect so i could choose to either wait for their great

advice and the timer runs out and i lose or make my own moves at which point i lose on my own but you have plenty of time well they're cheating they're cheating like but i would think that uh chess if you actually had like a guy out there who was good a guy who doesn't even look at a board who needs to be told what's on a board and he'd'd be like, oh, well, you need to run the old Woody's Gambit then. That guy. I'd love to have him sitting there and be like, his rook, look. Oh, thanks, man.

You're the best. But somebody's punching into a fucking one of those, what do you call them? The computers. Deep blue. Just a chess computer. You just set up your own chess game and you play against yourself

and you mirror the movements and see what the computer does against a different computer. There's so much cheating in chess that I didn't know about. I watched a video of this chess guy on YouTube who was being asked, what are your thoughts on all of these cheaters and everything? And he was basically

like, if you don't was basically like if you don't watch chat or you don't be like apparently like if you don't know chess you hear about some guy like smashing magnus carlson that really good you know norwegian guy whatever sure multiple times in like perfect games and if you don't know you might think it's like baseball or hockey or football where it's like sometimes a team just goes off sometimes that just happens but in chess it's like he explains like no what he's doing is like mathematically impossible like the only way he could be making these moves is if a computer algorithm is telling it to him because that computer has already predicted all the likely outcomes from his opponents just from seeing where it is and the way he's making decisions sometimes is like the apparently

the vibration thing like on an anklet or would do it sometimes is like apparently the vibration thing like on an anklet or in your ass. I don't think the ass thing was real. It better be. The ass thing is real. Well, they didn't confirm it was an ass thing. But one thing that was confirmed is like there was a big chess tournament

and this guy, like the amount of memorization. I was like surprised that all these like chess masters could memorize other things for some reason. And like, it's like this guy, like the amount of memorization for, I was like surprised that all these like chess masters could memorize other things for some reason. And like, it's like, this guy was like, the way that he cheated, I was trying to keep up with how he was cheating and I'm like, damn, I'm too dumb for this. And he was like, he was sitting there playing.

And then a guy who was watching the live feed of the game in a hotel was entering that into an algorithm and then was sending that answer to a guy who was just standing like meandering around on his phone in the main area and that guy would walk to pre-programmed areas and do certain things and so like he would just meander over to stand by a post and scratch his left eyebrow that means knight to queen five or whatever the fuck and then oh he look at he just he just pretended to sneeze over by the door that means this and so hundreds of signs depending on what needed to be done and even with that he got might be easier to learn to play chess did it come out that they figured out how he was cheating because i know that big scandal a couple months ago maybe a

little bit longer now and i thought the it was an unknown essentially how the cheating was occurring yeah that's what i heard too they were they basically were like okay we can't or my understanding was they're like we can't prove this yeah but anyone in the chess world like knows that you're cheating like you you cannot play like a computer does like you don't you'll never be able to it's just too difficult tough bar though if you start winning too much it's just you must be cheating oh fuck but I mean like if I were to cheat against someone in chess I'm not like teeing off against the guy like you know what I mean

like I'm not going to go balls to the wall cheating against the guy that everyone's immediately going to be like wait this no name guy just dominated this guy who like I cheated in chess. 50 year old Russians. And they're like,

Woody, the vibrating butt plug doesn't have to be that big. And I'm like, I don't want to miss what you're telling me. Yeah. Well, Woody has a thousand bead anal bead in, depending on which one it's pulled out to.

It does. It's like, all right. Nights of Queekee 15. Is that 887? It smells funky in here. knights of queen 15 smells funky in here ah chess is there any money to be made in chess i mean clearly there is some if you're like the best guy in the world but like where does it come from and how deep does it go like like

there's money to be made in being the best acrobatic paraglider in the world right but there's not much money being third best right it's one of those sports where only one or two guys can make a living off of it yeah yeah yeah chess go well well here's the thing though what chess is is i it doesn't matter what board you have it doesn't matter what chair you're like what is he what is his thing right the paramotor guy like if you're selling wings or something right the best guy like like if he tells me that these emergency shoots are the ones that he trusts his life with oh my god dude who else you've probably relied on it more than anybody you're always pushing the edge you're the guy i believe you and i buy your thing even if it's three times as much this genius chess master says ah these are

the the best boards they're so waxy and and plum yeah you know what else i bet i bet the best chess player on the planet is like jesus christ i am 49 times better than this twitch streamer who plays chess like shit but tells jokes the whole time and i wish i should make more money than him i guarantee you that happens of course i bet they just i just can't imagine there's any money to be made and and simply being right really good at chess because it's like one of the unique i'm gonna call it a sport or game whatever that like man it really doesn't matter does it like like because it's like one of the unique i'm gonna call it a sport or game whatever that like man it really doesn't matter does it like like he it's just his wits and that's it that's literally it's a game that you can play but in your mind it because because

the best players can you could just hey i move you could tell them knight to queen three or whatever the fuck and they would keep track of that shit in their heads there's no maybe it's like bigger than in russia because remember like when chess was all big what's the equipment some chalk like like what are we doing like what are we selling what are we pushing yeah energy drinks are we doing are we doing uh like smelling salts before we fucking take on a game yeah it should all it should all be legal performance enhancing drugs. That's what it should be. You should be just like shilling the shit out of like energy drinks and anything for expanding your intellect and concentration.

That kind of stuff. Focus. You know, really good. Here's a chess idea. Brain versus brawn. There's a big game of chess and all the pieces are like those husafell stones that like yes brian shaw and those giant men lift up in iceland all the pieces are like that i imagine brian shaw is too busy you know destroying small cities pillaging and raiding to

like to like learn how to play chess but he would be able to abide by the time constraints by actually moving it. Magnus Carlsen, he's going to be working on engineering stuff, trying to figure out, like, my move, I want to move my pawn two squares forward because that's allowed on the first move, but I can't lift it. What do you mean?

How is this confusing to you? Is he going to do some engineering? You suggested some engineering know-how might assist him in moving of the, how do you pronounce it? Hussavell? I think it's the Hussavell stones. The Hussavell stones. I think.

Those Lucifer stones, you've got, is he going to come with a mech suit or something with his improved intellect? No, no. I'd be down for that. Because think about this. Brian Shaw, he can just hit the timer quick. He lifts up the piece, puts it where it's supposed to be. This other guy, you know how pawns can move too forward in the beginning.

I have a different show. He's not going to be strong enough to do that. He's going to have to tilt it on its side and kind of roll it to the next square, and he's not going to be able to make it in time. The ultimate challenge. Okay, so that's your pitch for your reality show. Here's mine. Well, it's not a whole show.

It's more of a skit. I don't know if I'd be downplaying my own. I get funding be like two seasons downplaying your own show into the two executives here to parlay into what if we even have your pieces what if you take the what if you take the mythbusters guy and you have him versus brian shaw but the mythbusters guy gets to engineer some shit for a week and brian shaw Shaw has to come in and muscle his way through the projects.

We're going to knock walls down, move stones and stuff. I like this. If I'm the Mythbusters guy, I sabotage my opponent's pieces. There's Vaseline all over my fucking chess pieces. We're not playing chess because I thought that was dumb. We're doing different things every week. This is why my show is so much better.

This is a better show. I have the same idea every week. I just put Vaseline on his shit. I think it would be... My idea is a skit on your show. Fair. Not even a big one. It could be right before commercials. The Chess thing could be a whole episode.

I just fear that Jamie Heineman or whatever his name is, every week just shows up with a bobcat. He's the one you want, right? Didn't that come out? fear that Jamie Heineman or whatever his name is every week just shows up with a bobcat. Well, he's the one you want, right? Didn't that come out? He's the more engineering-minded one than whatever the other guy's, Adam.

There's the stoic guy with beret and the mustache, and then there's the fun one who makes movie gadgets. I think that's Jamie, and I think Adam's the beret guy. I think it's beret. Maybe it's a newspaper cap. It's some kind of a silly old-timey hat. But yeah, I like that guy. I wish he would do another show.

It'd be so popular if he had his own streaming show or whatever. I know everybody our age, and I'm sure a younger generation too, who's been watching him on YouTube and everywhere else, would love to watch some more Mythbusters. And they're all alive except for the one guy isn't it weird that the asian guy died first you never expect that but did he uh did he like have cancer or something or was it like an accident do you remember i don't think it was an accident i thought it was you know when you hear about like a myth buster dying you assume it's like something... Oh, no, it wasn't anything crazy. He wasn't busting myths. He wasn't in the line of duty or anything.

How poisonous is arsenic? Today we're going to find out. Very, very poisonous. Let's see if we can float in a pool of mercury. Ah, the answer is very briefly. Very briefly before the cancer consumes you. Wouldn't that be what happened? Or no, you just die real quick because it would, like,

leach into your skin and poison you. Right. It's super dense, right? So you should float on top, like, you know, like the Dead Sea or whatever where that salt is. So it's so there's so much salt whatever where that salt is so uh it's so um there's so much salt the salinity so high yeah but it's a heavy metal so you would think that like taking a literal bath in it would give you some serious heavy metal poisoning and i don't think that's

cancer but that's like a whole number of like problems with your body and brain yeah we should you shouldn't do that episode no don't do that no i wonder if that i didn't do enough research when i used to play with that gallium stuff i just roll that stuff around in my hands all the time i'm pretty sure it's okay though yeah based on youtube videos you can like drink it eat it like people are well i don't know about that with gallium oh speaking of like youtube videos um edp is back in the news again recently i heard that he got caught trying to lure another child into his big flabby arms again again he got caught again i don't know who edp is he is uh 45 yeah he's a very popular he's one of these boisterous um african-american gentlemen who was who um puts on a popular uh youtube channel you can probably imagine him. Very large fellow.

Yelled a lot about various topics, sometimes gaming related. Turned out he was a pedophile. He got caught by one of these amateur Chris Hansons. And they basically... Chris Hanson was tasteful, if you remember. I mean, he'd read the transcript. He'd be like,

Sir, is this a picture of your cock or whatever? He'd embarrass you a little. These guys were ruthless so leading up to it they're obviously posing as a child speaking to this man and they're like yeah the thing that turns little 12 year old girl me on is a picture of a big fat man's duty so if you could just do that real quick send me a snap of uh of your duty and he was like for real i'm on it and he's like know, he's sending pictures of his poop and, you know, he's sending other nudes to these gentlemen. And when he gets there,

I think he brought baked goods. I think he brought like brownies or cookies for the little girl. You know, because that always makes it extra creepy and funny. These two guys like ambush him in an alley and they're like, EDP, the cops are on the way. How does it feel to be a pedophile? And they're making cracking fat jokes and small dick jokes the whole like they're riffing on him it turned out that at least one of those guys is a bit of a awful person himself i think there was some i don't know domestic stuff it seems like it seems like every layer it's just layer cakes of assholes you know yeah this is this is i think the guy on the right turned out obviously he's an asshole he promised this guy a child and didn't deliver didn't show up didn't It's just layer cakes of assholes. You know? Yeah, this is, this is, I think the guy on the right turned out to be a little.

Obviously he's an asshole. He promised this guy a child and didn't deliver. Didn't show up. Didn't show up at all with a child. Dude, I would love to get my photo taken with EDP. Imagine that. Like he's making that guy look svelte. Like that, that would be, dude, I, I need like a photo of him in my house.

Like just so. I'm sure EDP is the guy that called Wings of Redemption, made a video offering him weight loss advice. He did. He did. Yeah. Or maybe life advice. He's not quipped for either.

A lot of calories and pussy, apparently. Woo! What, he eat the whole kid? Yeah, he's a... He's just ready to start. So he just... So he was... For for some reason i thought he was in jail but no he's out and just practicing um i didn't look at it that far into it like he's a practicing pedophile yeah yeah like he's a pedophile who's like actively like getting

you know amped up over pedophile things i thought you were saying that he wasn't a very good pedophile and that he had to hone his game. I mean, that much is true also. Is that Daniel Cormier? It could be. His head looks photoshopped on. There's no neck.

Is that real? I can't. It doesn't look real, but it is. Outside of my experience. Oh, man. Damn. Imagine like the balls on the guy to get caught soliciting an underage girl. And like a year later, back in the game game like he just can't stay away what are

you gonna do love of the game well we gotta i mean that we gotta lock him up right we gotta lock a lot of people up and that's why i'm i'm so happy with the mayor of new york this week and you will be too taylor what's this guy's name i wrote it down in my stones book um eric adams um here eric adams new york city is going to begin next week hospitalizing the mentally ill involuntarily they're gonna start rounding them up there is and not just the police like like multiple agencies have been informed and are being like educated on how to round them up without causing a stink that's how I put it. They were like,

respectfully and while blah blah blah. Respectfully, get in the van. Net him! I want to see those big nets. They're going to start rounding up. Back in the day, they would put a straitjacket on children and take them off to be improved

in some way. We don't do that anymore. They all pan out. Now those kids are winners. Those are some of the most successful. We call that the quiet chair. That's what they did for Elon Musk. I don't think so. I think they had a...

I definitely, in prison or jail, I don't remember which, I saw one of those straight jacket chairs that they can lock you in and put the full hood on you. If you go wild and you're wanting to spit on people and throw shit, they're like, oh, restrain him. And they can put you in. It looks like an electric chair, essentially. You are 100% strapped down to this motherfucker, and you're not throwing shit.

You're not spitting. You're not doing anything like that. And I can't imagine. That's just a friday night i mean throwing if you're throwing shit at people you have to be stopped okay you have to be stopped like mr freeze that is that is a behavior that we as a society cannot abide like the shit throwers and the Green Goblin. We must just stop them. Honestly, the Green Goblin is a lot less scarier than someone throwing E. coli in your mouth. I don't know.

Green Goblin's kind of bad. He had those little green bomb things he threw in that gas. I don't remember the film. You don't remember the film? I remember not being that scared of him because it's like this guy's outpaced by helicopters like even basic like like nypd stuff like even in the air he's not that he had a jet thing the little thing he's flying around they had jets i think you could have shot him out of the air he's a guy who works in a metal armor on yeah that's not magic spider-man beats the shit out of him a very agile hoverboard

actually spider-man does that backflip and and uh he impales himself with his own glider if you remember with uh fuck i was banking on like him on on spider-man spider-man doesn't kill no spider-man lets them like he's he's like uh what's that fake martial art woody where you like redirect them it's not tai chi it's like akimbo akito that's it thank you akita's that stupid dog akimbo's when you got akito okay all stupid things equally and yeah that's what's that's how spider-man kills things say what batman really if you think about batman will be more direct he'll like dangle you over the roof and then when you fall he's like oh yeah let's grab it but he knows you know who's way more badass captain america captain america i hate that hero

captain america shoots a gun captain america will rip open the lid of your tank and throw a grenade in there i was watching him recently in jackie and i and it was just like my god there are a lot of people getting killed i saw captain america take his shield and shred open the side of a tank and then he hit people in the head with the same fucking shield they didn't live so yeah well because it's world war ii right those were nazis they were you can do anything you want to a nazi i watched a really interesting video today about Star Wars. Stick with me here, it's not going to get

that nerdy, but it was more about the concept of the stormtroopers being these faceless, expendable bad guys, and we feel nothing for them as they die, one after another. But the whole point of, maybe The Force Awakens, the one with that black gentleman and

Daisy Ridley, he was a stormtrooper at the beginning, and the beginning of that black gentleman and Daisy Ridley. He was a stormtrooper at the beginning. And the beginning of that starts with his stormtrooper buddy dies on a stormtrooper battlefield. And his buddy's bloody handprint goes on Finn's face, I think his name was, the character. And now he, oh, I don't want to be a stormtrooper anymore. I'm a good guy. But the whole concept of that means that all of the stormtroopers are just child soldiers who just need a moment of waking up

and being a decent person. No, no, the other ones aren't deserters like this punk. This punk sees one bad day and suddenly he wants to not fight anymore? He goes full PTSD while his buddies die around him and breaks from his child soldier life and the empire and runs away, joins the rebellion.

And then in the same movie, he's the gunner in their ship killing his buddies. And he's going, Woo! Did you see that one? Like he's gunning, like da, da, da, da, da.

It would be the same as if like, now imagine it's World War IIi movie and we've oh he was the good nazi the the one stormtrooper takes his helmet that's what that's what the what they called the the nazis right the the originally a world war one thing german thing they were the storm men right but then they carried that over into a sort of a paramilitary group under hitler and anyway the good nazi joins like our side and then later on he's immediately just killing other Nazis, and he's like, yes, die, you scum. Teach you to mess with the Jews.

Right, guys? Right? Right? We are on the same team. I know about rockets, too. He'd be like, don't trust him. Yeah, of course not. He'd be like, he's still a fucking Nazi, bro.

That's the thing about being a pilot. You cause all the same destruction and death and horribleness and PTSD that anybody else in the military does, but you don't experience it. You do it from afar, and you either live or die, right? Because people in planes die, but it's just all for one. There is no slow, degrading, thousand-mile stare from pressing the button two miles away. Yeah, that's why I always say Air Force is such a clear-cut winner because nowadays, especially with the drone stuff,

you could be essentially playing video games in a bunker somewhere, like back stateside even. I think they make the most money. I think usually they've got those guys somewhere in the region the region or maybe even really close depending what they're flying but i definitely have seen instances of like some guys in california flying that shit killing people in the middle east you know like that's a whole different kind of battlefield i'm sure you could get ptsd from that like eventually you could be like doing the math in your head if you're a rational human being and be like, that was 87 people. Eighty seven people today.

Yeah. A whole wedding party. Yeah. And the wrong one at that. Right. Or that instance where they killed those journalists and those just innocent people on the street. I'm sure. I don't know if you've seen the video.

It's gunship footage, but they're celebrating and cheering and stuff. They're in a gunship. They're in a hovering helicopter, I believe. 1,000, 2,000 meters away or something. Silent. Oh, did you see the military's new helicopter? As we talk about the

atrocities as an American, I'm like, woo, but we got a new one. Did you see the new bird? No. It is amazing. I don't remember what it's called. It looks like an Osprey. It's got double rotors that do this shit. I saw a Reddit comment. It said, when a Blackhawk and an Osprey

love each other very, very much. What's it called? I wish I could tell Zach he'd find a picture of it. Search military's new helicopter and you'll find it. Black Hawk Replacement? It broke up a bit. Yeah, Black Hawk Replacement.

Yeah, that would get it. Yeah, the thing looks really slick. That's the second aircraft that the military's... I don't know if that was exactly an unveiling as much as them being like, yeah, we went with this one. But they also came up with that new stealth plane last week right the bomber right yeah yeah or like missile platform i guess that they are mostly now i don't think they drop a lot of bombs but oh that's this is not it this blackhawk replacement

silly head i told you what to google i i did it myself and i found like 30 examples of the same thing yeah i like this one too, though. Okay. This doesn't look real. I remember seeing this. I don't think this has happened yet. Yeah, army, they're on the ground. That's how you know it's fake. That's true.

The army can't fly. No. That isn't true. It's against the rules. It's against the rules of combat. It's against the Geneva Convention. If your stated purpose is to fight on the ground, you must remain there. against the rules it's against the rules of combat it's against the geneva convention you have to if your stated purpose is to fight on the ground you must remain there in the army you can fly helic

you can fly and not be an officer which makes it more achievable for people that's a thing sometimes people who want to fly go that route i didn't know that i want to know uh because it got touched on while you guys were talking about Captain America murdering people. I don't watch the Marvel movies, but I've never thought Captain America was cool. Filthy, you said you hate him. Yeah, yeah. Bolster my pre-decided belief. He's literally a short guy who isn't doing so well, right?

He's like a soldier. They're like, we need a super soldier. And the first thing they do is add four inches to him because he's not like he's not like physically enough of a specimen i mean it's just some guy that they're like i take these drugs and go kill people and that's this like whole thing and it's like little man syndrome all the way yes it is he's got like this in what sense he's he's the perfect guy it's the whole it's it's the whole great power uh requires responsibility thing like like in the testing they've got it remember when they're doing the i, they've got... Remember when they're doing the... I know, but when they're doing the whole field trials with Tommy Lee Jones and everything,

they got this big ox of a motherfucker over there who looks like he could beat up three men on his own. And they're like, clearly the ox is the guy we should give the super serum to. And they throw the dummy grenade amongst the men. And they were right. And Captain America immediately is the guy who's on it. Get away! Get away! He's trying to save everybody. That's the guy you give the... Otherwise, you. And they were right. And Captain America immediately is the guy who's on it. Get away! Get away!

He's trying to save everybody. That's the guy you give the otherwise you end up with a villain. You give it to the Ox Man and you just get more. Thank God that loser protected Ox. That's funny. God damn it. You've got some of that loser on you. Come here. You got us all over you.

Somebody wipe the loser off. On your marble body no honestly think about how quickly they would have beat the soviet union had they given it to ox it just seemed like such an propaganda story it was like i don't know when it happened man i don't know i don't know what the next story of this is he fought the soviets later in the comics but it's the Nazis. I don't like him. He seems like he's too tryhard for me

because he's so outclassed by the other superheroes. He can't fly. He can't jump as high as the rest of them. He's not as fast. He's incredibly strong. He's incredibly powerful. And not in that world. Yeah, in that world.

And his shield is one of those MacGuffin items in that universe. It's very, very well okay even the shield is super lame though right like yeah like it's so great that it's a defensive weapon not an offensive weapon like it would be so easy to make all the same you should love captain america because he so easily could have been like some big dick asshole with a giant like a rambo cop yeah it could have been some big dick asshole with a giant, like a Rambo copy. Yeah, it could have been realistic. That's what we are. I like Captain America. He's one of my favorites. Batman's my favorite, though.

I like the power down. No one's mentioned leadership. He leads the group. Someone has to coordinate all the other people. They don't have a choice. Chain of command. That's true. They listen to him the same way like a trained hippo listens to a guy like that's not true like if iron man and captain america are in their little fucking meeting room where all the

superheroes are and captain america is like this is the move and then iron man's like interesting i like it this is i think i think this is another idea. Everyone in that room is like, that's fucking Tony. Home run again. Like everyone would take it. Everyone would take his side because on some level you realize like this fucking idiot from the 40s, like who's not as strong as, you know, apparently just as much a member of the team as the bow and arrow guy. Like when shit gets real, you send Thor because he's a god. You send the Hulk. You send Iron Man.

You don't send Captain America to's a god you send the hulk you send iron man you don't say captain america to be like you know what i think i can direct this police station to handle this wrong when an army of leviathans is attacking your team of superheroes you need captain america to coordinate shit yeah and you don't want a guy standing on the ground with a fucking shiny shield to hold off of space invaders coming through the rift up in the sky like he's just lacking the necessary equipment to do this. Put him in an Iron Man suit. You put him in an Iron Man suit,

and suddenly Tony Stark's out of a job. Now he's just the bankrolling guy. It is questionable that Tony Stark didn't make Iron Man suits for everybody. Every one of the superheroes would have benefited from an Iron Man suit. He's got more money than God, right?

I've seen at least two of the Iron Man movies. And at any given time, when he doesn't have a suit, he's like, Jarvis, another suit, please. Shoots out of a fucking bar in his office, and then it catches him. The guy's got like 29 suits lined up for himself, and everyone else is

underoos. And then he's like, hey, Hawkeye, here's an arrow that blows up. He's like laughing at him. He's like, oh, you're stretching your face. That's a bottle rocket. It's a bottle rocket.

Asshole. Here's your new arrow. Captain America sucks, man. Captain America sucks man Captain America sucks pretty much all of them how much would their efficacy change if it was just the Hulk Thor and Iron Man if it was just those

three now who couldn't they handle from a fighting perspective they need Captain Marvel okay she's Superman, right? Scarlet Witch. And Scarlet Witch. Without the vulnerabilities almost, right? Does she have vulnerabilities?

You need vulnerabilities if you're a boring character. That was always the problem with Superman. Superman was always a very boring character to read or watch. Justice League was ridiculous. Justice League is like a two-hour movie. They spent an hour and 45 minutes trying to wake up Superman. And the last 15 minutes, Superman easily handles the problem.

It was more of a scheduling error than it was an actual problem. Oh, my God. I thought the blocks from outer space were coming next Wednesday. You're going to have to wait until we open. I saw an animated skit earlier, and it's basically Captain America waking up and Iron Man trying to catch him up on what things are like these days.

Like, hey, but what he's really doing is trying to find a fellow racist and bigot, and he's like, so you're probably wondering why all those blacks are just running around, and he's like, no, actually, I thought... What? And the women! And it's like no actually i thought it just what what what and the women let me and it's like every step of the way tony stark's just a huge piece of shit and captain

america shock that's pretty funny no i yeah i'm from the 40s but i'm not a scumbag what's wrong with you he's like tony stark's like pissed yeah i get the one bitch from the 40s. I wanted to talk about Kanye at some point again because he dropped a new song. Is there anything new? He did. What? Is it good?

I don't think we're allowed to have opinions. That's what he's good at. He's making songs. It is unanimously beloved. You go to his subreddit to have opinions. That's like what he's good at. He's making songs. It is unanimously beloved by even, like you go to his subreddit and everybody was like the Kanye subreddit has turned

into a Holocaust Remembrance subreddit. Yeah, until he dropped a new song and then it's turned into some people being like, shit. Fucking fuck. And then other people being like, fuck all of y'all fake motherfuckers you said all he had to do was drop a track that's it

and now you're like oh shit i guess i'm a nazi lols i changed my mind i love it now yeah so it's um no i think he has to be worried about setting foot in new York City now? No. Oh, for the mental illness thing? That's kind of funny, actually. Yeah. I thought it was because of all the Jewish people there.

No, that's true. Could Kanye walk the streets of Fifth Avenue? Yeah, Kanye, when you've got... You've wandered into the wrong neighborhood. You think you're safe in this neighborhood? It's Wall Street. You look a little lost. It's the Sabbath. I think he'd be fine.

I think they're mostly going to go after those poor, crazy people who poop in the streets and that sort of thing. Are they redoing mental institutions? In New York, they're forcibly committing them in New York. To where, though? They said mental health facilities and hospitals to get the treatment that they needed, which would lead me to believe that at some point they laid down some infrastructure and the...

I'm hearing squeaky. Is it me? I heard squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. I don't know what that was. Anyway. I hear it again. Oh, I heard that. It wasn't me, though. Could be me, but I don't know what it would be. I'm going to mute myself.

That fixed it. No. Nope. All right, wait. I got to mute myself. It wasn't me. It's back. It's back.

Fuck. Okay, hold on. My turn. It's back. It's back. Fuck. Okay, hold on. My turn. It's filthy. It's filthy. It wasn't me. Well, it might be. It might very well be me.

I don't know what it is. It's 100% him. Just saying. What is it? I don't know what can be done about it, but sometimes when his mic's on, it's going... It's totally... Let's pretend that muting his mic means he can't hear us and just talk shit i'll just quietly talk shit

to myself as well i used to do that when i worked at cisco i know i was told about that i thought it was fucking hilarious because it worked for like 13 years if you're not paying attention to a meeting and they they like ask you something they'll be like i'm sorry can you say that again i was on mute they all just like don't question that but when you're on mute you can hear fine yeah but i'd ask him to repeat it explain that i was on mute and they would and they never saw twice be like that one like cnn guy who's like could you repeat that i was masturbating yeah that's a better line i think he's been he did he get rehired he got rehired and fired he's gone again cnn has been

doing cuts so this one wasn't for performance reasons or i guess but like he got caught in a layoff uh who's that another round of layoffs recently the the guy uh who jacked off on toonie i think something to ben right oh okay yeah sometimes i just do uh alley oops you know i'll get it close maybe it worked with the keto no i'm on uh i'm on uh i'm on the youtube video for like it's kanye thing and it's just some random person uploaded it right but there's still like thousands and thousands of views and the comments are sound so soulful don't you agree you can hate him all you want but you can't deny his artistry this shit is absolutely off the fucking chain Kanye still got that soul this track is dedicated to the people who say they miss the old Kanye

it's unfair how good this is like on and on and on wow I need to re-listen i like i've listened to it three or four times but it's pretty slick um it's pretty slick he even any samples um alex jones at the end uh yeah it's uh it's screaming electrical squeakiness into my ear something's going on now because now it's constant i don't know what it would be we're back in like two minutes yeah yeah um someone's like while he's gone someone said he's not understandable these days, but the talent is undeniable and undisputed. Yeah. It's interesting that,

that I, man, I got all those people were, Oh, the evil of Kanye. Again, all he had to do was show just a little bit of like that old talent. And I would say 30% of the people who had turned

have come back already. Dude, Michael Jackson has played everywhere and he touched children. We don't know that. I see it. I have started to question that. I was always on team touch children. Always. I mean, we don't anymore. But now, like, a lot of the kids

are angry. They're like, he never touched me. He didn't. My mom said that i still haven't forgiven her she was after his money like i'm seeing stuff like that i don't know yeah me too i watched i mean like i watched that documentary like like what was it finding neverland or something i watched a couple of docs about about him and i went back and forth and i'm at this point my my thoughts are that he's just a guy who really didn't have a childhood and i bet he was weird and i bet like i don't want that guy in

the bed with my kid i you know but i don't think he was a full-on child molester you know what i mean i like like i don't think he even had the capacity for that but i bet like i don't know he fucking wiggled up against a kid in a fucking bed a time or two in like an innocent kind of creepy way if you if that's, to be innocently creepy. That's just where I think, if I had to guess, that's what my money would be on. I don't think he was a calculated child molester. When an adult, like, hundred millionaire

designs a house with, like, trains and, like, toys and blow-up dolls, like, carousels, and then he has children over for sleepovers and he sleeps in the same bed with them. I think it's pretty cut and dry. You would think so, but he was also like all those other weird things that don't make sense at all either. You know, like if all the things that you just said were in a vacuum on their own,

I'd be like, yeah, let's lock that fucker up. But we've got this weird elf of a man who sings and dances and travels the planet bringing joy and didn't have a childhood and he's been like... He couldn't rape children? Look how eccentric he is! No, no, no, no. He's perfectly capable of rape.

I'm just saying, outside of a vacuum, he's just... It's a weird guy from start to finish. Sleeping with the kids is one of the more milder things about him. He's just weird. That's not even his fucking voice. It's not? It isn't?

He's like putting out a voice. So I had a theory that because he was a child star, he kept hanging on to that child voice and never developed a man's one. That was my theory no his dad had him castrated you know so you could that's probably what it is no that's that um i've read that a bunch of times um that he'd been chemically castrated or maybe just literally

castrated that's yeah and because he does look odd i don't know and and he does seemingly have that voice forever but then i read somewhere that that wasn't true and he chemically castrated by his late dad, says Singer's ex-doctor in 2018. So, you know. Jesus Christ. I mean, that thing. I had a theory while you were gone. You don't happen to have your cell phone near your electronics, do you?

No. Okay. No, it's the other room. I'm not hearing anything now anyway. I didn't do anything special. Just did all the, you know, all the hardware unplug, replug kind of shit. Hopefully it fixed it. Don't know what it is. I have two stories. They're both about tall women. You've got my attention.

Do you want to talk about Brittany? Oh, I know one of them. We can talk about Brittany Griner and the WNBA or we can talk about Drag Queen Story Hour. I know about the Brittany Griner one. I was reading that today. The trade we got.

So we traded a WNBA player for a guy who is so known in the world of arms trading that he is referred to as the merchant of death and I guess is the basis for the nick cage movie lord of war so he's kind of known and kind of a big guy and we traded a wnba player for this guy thank god we did that america was culturally lost without our wnba star they're the same height, though. That's how these exchanges work. It's like a sports trade.

I'm just saying if this is like... Teams do not trade draft picks for a seventh rounder. We should at least get a package deal. Not only are all the things taylor just said

accurate about this awful man but uh he's good at what he does but well i mean look at the timing right we're right in a time where like russia is is is like our our enemy big time like we've got a war going on over there like this isn't the time to release their like lords of war yeah or whatever the merchant of death dude if this was a video game you'd be like oh god why do they always have dumb plots like this don't trade that like you would know that this is so stupid what we've done and i saw like like like her um her i don't know if it's her wife or her fiance or whatever her partner i don't know if they're married or not um in the oval office like hugging um biden and i and i want to be like why why didn't you scoop me up out of prison biden

god damn like i was in alabama wait wasn't it trump at the time who would we trade for kyle like what's the appropriate exchange i mean apparently anyone i'm six two i'm six two so like any of the wnb girls wba girls could hit that i think there's a lot of them that are six three and they're even taller britney grinder is like way taller than all that she's what the super you know what what team does she play for again taylor i couldn't tell you one name of one team in the wnba can any of you name one team in the wnba there might be one called the Los Angeles Magic. There's definitely one in LA. There's definitely a team in LA. I have a team here in Atlanta. I didn't. Not only did I not know that we had a team in here

in Atlanta, I didn't know the name of it until I started looking into it earlier. I think it's the Atlanta Dream. I also think we are the second lowest attended team in the WNBA. All of last year, 2022, I want to say the attendance was 45,000. For the year. For the year. That's awful. Do you know how many games they play?

Couldn't tell you. It's like, it's shockingly low. There's only 12 teams, and they play 15 games or something. 16 games. Something like that total. The whole thing is just a support program from the NBA. The NBA just gives them enough money

to run. It's not like anybody watches that shit. That's what I was looking at. I wanted to see how big of a star is Brittany Griner. She's on the second most popular team in the WNBA, the Phoenix, what, fucking Mercury? What's the comparison for viewership? So if the other one is 45K for the entire year,

what's the second best team do? That's the second worst. It was significantly higher. It was like 150, like three times higher or four times higher or something, but it was still like... That's rough. All right, so by comparison yeah one university of georgia football game at home when we're like

an average one is probably 60 000 i would guess some of those states hold 80 fucking thousand people she plays for the phoenix mercury yeah atl, like I said, really low attendance. You can go for the entire – that's average attendance per game. Yeah. There's 12 games. What did you say total games were, roughly? 32 games a year maybe, something like that. If I'm not right, I'm close, 28 maybe. Yeah, it's rather –

There is no way the Seattle Storm WNBA team are averaging almost 11,000 people there. There's no way. If there were that packed pictures of WNBA stuff, we'd see a photo of it, right? Like one ever, you think? You think we'd have one photo ever

of... I'm sure they exist, Taylor. Perhaps not in the circles we travel. What proof do you have that this is wrong? Yeah, I believe the stats. I'm trusting my eyes and my ears, folks. Taylor goes, no, those numbers are low

but not nearly as low as I would think they would be. There's no way 10,600 people show up every fucking game. I'm trying to look at who my local team is. WNBA Arena. It's gone. probably atlanta yeah that's a shame um i hear that goddamn squeaking i can't be back i guess it can be yeah yeah that's no um that's got to be one of the and there's tons of jokes to be made there right about sports this being a bad trade because she's in sports right but but like how could this happen

like like i don't think anyone thinks this is a good idea except for her and her family all of them are thrilled and i would be too like holy shit like like i don't care fucking bring saddam hussein back alive like whatever you got to do get my loved one back home but if you're team america team world peace team anti-warlord or whatever like like if you consider yourself a good guy you have to realize we just made a bad trade can we even be like could he maybe be useless at this point like he's been out of it too long or he's too known as too watched or something maybe he's just not a very high value guy anymore i bet he's got enemies out there he's gonna kill now right probably the merchant of death maybe other merchant other told on the weapons merchants that might not be that bad but they'll but there are weapons

merchants you know he's gonna go out there and attack the the jonah hills the war dogs you know that kind of thing i don't know maybe you're right maybe you're right you make a good point maybe he's out of the game how old's that gentleman that's a good question i didn't know how yeah how long has he been in prison for too how long we had him for i'm willing to see both sides of this i you know if this is some 87 year old man with no contacts maybe the maybe that's what biden is saying right now he's like hey you know who this guy is i do i read his file nobody's heard his voice in 35 years like like if it's like that you know he's only 55 he's prime weapon seller that's when they get that gray trusting beard they start really pushing tanks and missiles yeah he sells you guns but he feels like if i'm

vladimir putin i i'm i'm like let's try to make this let's try to make the united states look stupid hey uh um crazy lord of war would you like let's get you some deals. You want to move some missiles into Cuba? Here, move them. Oh, that guy's ready to do business. He looks effeminate. I wouldn't buy guns from him. Are you serious? That dude would look how many of those little guys they've

got to hold him down. That dude looks like he sucks dick well. Who's that guy in the background with the fucking headphones on? I'm looking at that mustache and thinking he does not ignore the balls no that that guy that guy's sold weapons to dangerous people that guy has murdered probably dozens of people he's limp-wristed and i don't know i don't know i just just in case he yeah he's holding a shank getting ready to stab what the fuck is he getting arrested in here the next picture is him like shoving a pencil into that guy to the left's eye i don't know man it seems like it's a bad deal

we need like we need like a good sports gm in the room when they're doing that because like when that was brought up like all right britney right, Brittany Griner for the merchant of death. Do you think he got to pick that outfit out, Woody? Do you think he went into his prison closet? Is he wearing a purse in his hand? What the hell? No, it looks like a... I don't know. I mean, look at his smirk.

That's a man who knows he just got... He's part of the best, like a franchise saving trade. You know what Biden should have done? He should have read the art of the deal. That would have saved this whole thing from happening. This is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals. We get a WNBA star and they get this, folks.

Not making this up. The merchant of death. He needs to start criticizing this. Yeah, he's shackled. He should. He needs to drop the whole election loss thing and just start making about this trade deal. I mean, this is a terrible trade deal.

We should have got at least like, I guarantee we've got dozens of people of ours like arrested and like locked up in russia this should have been like a like all right you give us 10 and we give you one big gold chip guy not one one for one are you kidding me it probably has nothing to do with any of this right it's probably more like britney grinder goodwill some like actual exchange something happening between the countries kind of bullshit it's probably like 20 billion levels above whatever we're what we're seeing yeah you should have given us britney grinder and maybe someone who can hit a three-point shot there was a guy there's apparently a guy who's been in russia for years who's like an ex-marine who like didn't even get packaged in we couldn't have you know we couldn't have like

packaged him in the mix also like come on this is a horrible one for one trade we could have got two we could have got three uh you know we should have called their bluff and said you know what we're not trading at all and then we make them you know sieve for a little bit ah we want that draft pick they want the merchant i didn't think they were going to do the trade i i was like why wouldn't they oh russia no russia would of course they're getting of course russia would like it's nothing i mean hey it's kind of mean but every time i saw a picture of her they had she's so tall and like she just didn't fit in any of the places that they would have her in she's always like lurching and and uh her her trial she's in her cell like

why with a video with an ipad like a russian ipad equivalent outside the outside the fucking cell and she's like looking at it being like i'm so regretful and and like some judge on the other end of an ipad in a courtroom is listening to a translator going like she felt bad she did it and then they all like laugh together and drink vodka uh yeah she's like look at that little cage she's in she don't fit in that shit she does not fit in that yeah it's a shitty little cage she's like leaned back like what's in her hand is that her foot that's another guy bottle holding a man's hand oh okay yeah well bad trade deal i bet she's very stoked over it as well as her family but everyone else like should be you gotta get more you gotta get more in a trade deal

like that we can't be leaving leaving value on the table here we gotta i hope she's uh i hope she's like all red white and blue and patriotic now that her country did this for her that the federal government itself moved moved heaven and earth to bring her home to safety out of a fucking russian jail which had to have sucked dick i can't imagine how much that must have sucked dick russian jail like russian's lady jail is probably better than russian's men jail especially if you're a big old galoot like her i doubt any girl anybody was pushing her around in there or anything yeah but like come on i had to suck it's been like it's been a year i think like like almost like 10 months or something it's been a long time she's been over there yeah i don't know where i am on this because i don't

know shit about that guy they're letting go but it seems to me like that he's committed some crimes i don't know what his crimes are but i bet that guy's killed people and like oh yeah you don't trip into nicknames like that like he had to work for years to become the merchant of doubt well in the movie he was pretty cool i liked him in the movie as i mentioned no one's going near him again though you think someone who's been in u.s custody for an extended period of time like in the community of international arms dealers is going to be welcomed back they're like yeah there's no way they turned him there's no way that someone's planted something on him for tracking or monitoring his shit like he's totally useless i don't think he's going to do to do anything again with his previous life you

might be right yeah you might be right i don't know i do not know how the world of international gun running works but on the head seems like a weird trade though yeah yeah for sure absolutely yeah but i mean and weird the priority too because as you say there's so there's other i don't know anything about this but even hearing the other people you've thrown out it's weird that that would be the the priority under why and also you know what the actual fucking because of media stuff and that's what got the attention and like as he's moving to get her out of jail for marijuana we're still it's still federally illegal here and there's he's his federal government is still locking people up for it and putting them in prison for it i don't understand well it seems like there's a huge amount

of hypocrisy there didn't they do the dc thing so wasn't that like where he could basically do it immediately without having to go through the states that they has made that not illegal anymore didn't they release a number of um people are charged for marijuana related crimes in the dc area i don't know about anything about the dc area i know we did that thing where um like maybe he made possession decriminalized or something like that or like but but it's like that was that's such a rare charge to have been it affected very few people you know i think i might have been one of them but i got two charges anyway so it didn't matter um But yeah, it just seems really silly. It's federally illegal here.

They're locking people up for it, putting them in prison for it. But we will trade the Lord of War to get a lady basketball player out of Russia for doing exactly that. She had a vape cart of fucking weed in Russiaussia and her fucking luggage and she didn't look i have flown before like like from one place where it's legal to another where it's not you check your shit you don't accidentally fly one of these like like like especially you know i'm going to russia i think we talked about it before but like if i have to go to russia for something i'm buying an entire new suitcase because there are i will have like there will be stuff like carts or gummies that I forget about in another suit. I'm getting a brand new suitcase, taking a tolerance break before.

So just in case, like, and let's be real and let's be real. Like you as a white man are going to have fewer. You're going to have less friction on that trip than a gigantic black woman is. If we're flying, I'll tat it up if we're flying to Russia. So already, you kind of stand out here in Russia because you're the tallest black woman

in the country now. In the world, really. Yeah, it's just like you're such a red flag already coming through. I noticed, you know, they're such a red flag already coming through. Just a notice. They talk about driving red sports cars or whatever. You're a red sports car coming right through this airport.

Hope you're not smuggling drugs. And she was. It's a PR fail, though. They just needed a better title for her. She needs to be like the goddess of game or something, right? So she can compete with the lord of war. This could have been sold better. Yeah, get her involved in gun running. Just retcon that and make it seem like yeah we need this valuable gun runner back

wnba was the perfect cover no one because no one knows who she is she's not in the public eye that one struck me really rude yeah that is a that's a bad trade we got to get better trades than that if we like moving forward we need better trades than that trump would have got a better trade than that art of the deal art of the deal folks even got that other marine we i bet we could have got it uh like you know how teams sometimes would do like cash like if we got a small amount of cash also at least for like our ego so it's like all right this plus a three million dollar payment that's a lot for you guys like how about a first round draft pick on the next spy who gets caught? Absolutely.

They wouldn't abide by it, but if they threw in even future considerations. Okay. Maybe some contracts. Brittany Kreiner plus future considerations. I don't know what future consideration means. I don't get it either. What does that really mean? I think it's like an under the table thing where it's kind of like,

Hey, like next time you kind of need something, like if you need a salary dump, if we're in a position to do it, you know, you reach out to the blues and we'll help. It may even mean that their contract has a period of, of,

of, of liquidity right there or not liquidity, but where they could change it. Maybe that's what it means. It's like, oh, in three years we have a period where we can look at your contract and maybe go up on it. I have no idea. I mean, maybe I'm wrong because all the trades,

most of the trades I see in the NHL that I'm like, this is a bad trade, ends up panning out because, believe it or not, these GMs actually know what they're doing. I'm pretty psyched the college football championship is all set. Yeah. I'm very psyched. The fucking University of

Georgia is ranked number one going into this thing. Nice. I think we have to play Ohio State and then Michigan plays TCU and then the winners of those games face off. I remember correctly. We did it last week. Congratulations.

Second year in a row for Georgia. They're going to thrash Ohio State, and then they'll pulverize the winner of the other game, which won't be TCU, apparently. According to my friends who watch football, a lot of them are like, oh, TCU. They're not really number four or whatever the fuck. We've got a,

we've got a huge TCU fan in the, in the audience. He was like, he was like, I've got box seats to the game, Kyle. You can come, you come into my box.

I'm like, man, that is incredibly generous offer as incredibly generous offer. But, but no, thank you. I don't think I could do that. I don't,

I don't want to go to the game. I just want to watch it. I just want to watch it. But we've got a lot of fans that are having a real meltdown over there. They're getting mean. I want Georgia to win, but I don't want to call anybody any goddamn names.

Y'all are getting mean over there. Who's getting mad at Georgia? Nobody's mad at Georgia, but some of the TCU people are mean seemingly they don't like that they're being disrespected going into this thing i think but uh but no i'm looking forward to it i'm not prove people wrong it's uh it's pretty cool though to see your team do well i know that you got to feel that a couple years ago when like that long awaited championship with the blues yeah that's great do you have any like memorabilia from the championship

year like like anything like that yeah i have like in my i have like oh yeah no it's not a lot i i have uh there's like a i don't even know where it is there's like a champagne bottle around here that's like a blues win like like labeled champagne bottle and i've got a little flag that's like stanley Cup champions in my gym. But that's it. I have so many memories of like with friends and stuff during that run, like being excited at like the bars we watched at, like just remembering all.

It was so much fun. It was the only like professional championship I've ever watched where a team I cared about won. And so that was really neat. And maybe the first and last for the Blues. Could be. Damn. I mean, this year this year it's not gonna happen this year so we'll see another 50 years long after i'm dead uh you know long after heart disease has taken me uh yeah we'll we'll win again hopefully but yeah yeah mizzou is terrible at football this is gonna be wild if we went two in a row i i uh i bet you will college college football has a has a um sort of a gravity to it

you know when when when alabama started getting on that role that they've been on i don't know forever that over a decade and recruit the recruitment classes just got better and better, and seemingly they could go somewhere and say, look, you can come to Alabama, and maybe in two years, you could be our backup quarterback. Can you imagine? And great football players would be like, gee golly, sir, no, I can't. I'd love to.

Okay, Mr. Saban. Yeah, they're signing up to like maybe be the backup in two or three years you know and and they're just they're so deep with their recruits that they just shit on everybody for so long and uh i guess that seems like clemson and clemson if you're not from clemson um and uh and georgia have like slowly gotten the recruitment to the point over the years where they could compete. But I hope we do establish a dynamic. If we win this year, very likely we'll win again in two years.

Why? The win this year would give us an incredible recruitment class next year. You know what I mean? It just pays dividends forward every time you do well in that market. It's not like baseball where it's like, yeah, they did did well last year which means they probably can't afford this team anymore that's why i like it when unc or duke lose like every once in a blue moon the unc in particular will have a really bad season where maybe they even lose more than they win and it's like oh did you just lose to william and mary not a single player on that team even got recruited by UNC.

Your fucking 12th man is on a full-ride scholarship. Every single person on that team that beat you couldn't get your coach to look at him. And now they just kicked your ass? Good. Fuck you. I like that. That's always cool. I love the upsets because what makes those upsets so sweet is the weird incestuous

you scratch my back, I'll scratch your back nature of the bowl system. I don't even understand. Whenever they tell you this on TV, I'm like, y'all are saying this out loud? They'll be like, yeah, Georgia pays Vanderbilt $3 million a year just for the privilege

of whooping their ass it's like yeah could they just like like anybody who's i don't get it like can you pay to play vanderbilt 12 times yeah it's such a scummy system like i i look for all the ufc's faults some point you're gonna fight have to fight that wrestler. He's coming for you, whether you like it or not, or if you're on the other end. At some point, that guy who hits like a train is coming for you. Try to grab his knees and see how it goes.

He likes that. You have to face the music, and it's not exactly true with a college football season. You can kind of dance around. There's three games a year, four games a year maybe that matter. Yeah, for Georgia. Because there's three or four teams that are on the take. It's just like, where do they draw the line?

It's like, so let me understand this. You were paid $2 million to come here and play or lose? Which was it? We'd rather not get into that. You wouldn't do that in anything else and feel like it felt kosher. Like it felt right. Yeah, not very sporting to set up your own schedule.

Well, it's just weird that money's being exchanged between programs. And it's clearly a situation where the reason the money is being exchanged is because it's a bigger market. Maybe that's how they sell it. Like, hey, you're going to be on the big show. But really, the reason we're the big show is because we push people's shit in.

It's funny the analogies for the transport argument stuff, right? Because it's like that same, we don't want people who have unfair competitive advantages playing in our leagues. And then you set up these leagues with these unfair competitive advantages based around money. It's kind of amusing for that same analogy. Yeah, but everybody's got a dick. The NCAA always gets ripped. What's the benefit of the dick?

The dick is the testosterone and the rest of the body that comes with that, right? That's the advantage of it. He said everyone is a dick, but no one cares, right? We're trying to make fair sports, right, is the goal. So it's funny to see that particular line. Fair sports is not the goal in college. No, you want... It wants to be like pretend fair sports in college.

Because players are always going to... It's not a draft. The good players want to go to Alabama and Georgia. If you want to put some girls on the team and have Georgia play them, we'll pay them more than Vanderbilt. I promise you. There's where women can make money in sports.

You put together an NCAA women's football team, one of these nursing colleges or something. Send the gals out there. Rick, come on over to Athens, Georgia. Show up early. We will pay you $5 million for the privilege of playing football with us. It's an even playing field, I promise. That's what it feels like to be a fan of the teams.

NC State, I think we're ranked 24th right now, which is exciting for us to be ranked at the end of the season. We usually get ranked every year. We don't always finish in the rankings and it's kind of nice to finish in the rankings and and like kyle said winning breeds winning you know we're not up there with georgia but maybe our recruiting class is better because we're ranked and people see us you're on the rise it looks like that they're on the rise yeah next so when we play like ECU or App State or something, it's like we should beat them. We almost always do, but it's a game.

When we play Clemson or if we were to hypothetically play Georgia, it's like, is this safe? Should we be doing this? Are our players going to leave this game? You know, young men, you're playing with those physically peak specimen adults. I know. It's a sketchy thing. Isn't the Georgia quarterback like 25 years old

no something like that stetson bennett how old stetson bennett google he's in the running for the heisman this year um there's no he's 25 fucking years old but even if he were 25 years old he was born october 28th 1997 25 years old what How old is he? 25? I didn't know that. He's 25 years old. What the fuck is he doing? Hang on, hang on. Okay, he's in his last year of school. That makes sense. He's like a year older.

He should be 22. He should be 20, so he's taking a victory lap the whole way around again. He's in his last year of school and he got held behind a year. He's in his second junior season. Look, I didn't know the man was 25 years old. But I have no problem.

How does that compare with other college? I don't know if that's the norm or not. I didn't know that. That's cool though. 25 years old. That's hilarious, though. 25 years old. That's hilarious. I mean, if he comes out with a doctorate, though, it wouldn't be so weird.

He started college in 2017. Are students allowed to play on these teams? Aren't these undergrad? They are. Okay. I just didn't know, I guess. He started college in 2017. Okay.

So already late. At 20, he started college. I mean, that's not even that bad. But I mean, he's 25 now. I saw this. So the quarterback, I saw this just last night. The quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens, I think Lamar Jackson is his name.

He and Stetson Bennett are the same age. They both won the heisman uh lamar jackson's been in the nfl for six years and so like he's the same or five years same age as stetson bennett who's just i guess running the table on people in georgia but is that like a tebow situation like he must still be in the ncaa because he's not good enough to be like a pro quarterback. Right. My theory is, so you get more pussy as the quarterback in Georgia than you do as the

quarterback of like the Ravens or whoever. So Stetson Bennett wasn't the only quarter. So what they do is they've always got like one or two hot shot quarterbacks. He's just the best one right now. As far as I know, he wasn't getting all playing time last year. Like as good as he, that's what I was talking about with his recruitment classes and how he's just the best one right now as far as i know he wasn't getting all playing time last year like as good as he that's what i was talking about with his recruitment classes and how he's only 24 he's a growing man the reason i i i'm a little out of my depth here but i think the reason that that he's so old and he's just and now he's in his last year i'm sure

about to win another championship maybe is because of that system i talked about where yeah in two years you'll be the backup. Well, I'm the third best guy in the country. Exactly. I think that was the situation. Well, I'm 31. Because he was sharing duties last year. You know, he wasn't the, like, only quarterback last year,

and he certainly wasn't the year before. You know what I mean? You know, it would be fun, like, if he got interviewed, like, they're like, so why are you just pretending to not pass your classes to continue to stay at Georgia? He's just flunking. I don't understand the question. I play football.

That's what he does. I wonder what his academic situation is, having been in school since 2017. Has he finished an undergrad? Does he work on his third major? Let's see what he's up to. Well, if I were him, I would definitely not be focusing on that

I'd be getting a lot of electives under my belt Or whatever you can do And still graduate And stay academically viable Because he's going to get paid a lot of money in the NFL Good for him Then he can do whatever he wants forever If he's likable enough

That's the thing It used to be Seemingly likable enough that's the thing if you can be like a sport it used to be like a commentator kind of thing yes it used to seemingly it used to be that you had a couple years in x sport a few more in y sport and a whole bunch in z sport but but and then it was over but now it seems like you can really retire and if you've got a personality and the your brain is mostly intact you can go into commentating and make more money than you ever did. Like, that money that those guys on TNT are making,

like Shaq and Charles Barkley and that crew, is insanity money. They're getting hundreds of millions of dollars. All of them are like verging billionaires almost. Yeah. Those guys are hilarious. I don't know anything about the nfl or the nba rather like when i see like the clip of like shack and charles barkley like on twitter or whatever and they're like futzing around joking like they're they're very

very entertaining you see them send shack through the christmas tree i did that i just saw holy shit he launched shack like charles sack is so big that you forget that they're all giants. That Charles Barkley could kill you and not really even try that hard. I bet if Charles Barkley put his hand on your face and mushed you into a wall, it would be like in that horror...

There's a Jason movie where he just pushes someone's head through a trailer wall and the face makes the indent comically on the outside. It'd be like that. I bet he's got a hand bigger than a fucking frying pan. And he's still smaller than Shaq, but he sent his ass reeling through that tree. That was pretty funny.

That's the only reason I watch the NBA. Shaq lost the bet. He had to grow in his hairline. And of course he squared it up to make it look as good as... He's like, yeah, this is my hairline. It's right here. And you know what? I don't even give a damn. I it up to make it look as good as he's like, so, yeah, this is my hairline. It's right here. It's like, oh, you know what? I don't even give a damn.

I'm aware like this all week. And he did. That's a pretty good check. Shaq is one of those guys. Shaq's not hard to do. Like universally loved. I don't know. Does anybody?

I mean, I bet there are people who who played in the NBA against him or other commentators who don't like him. I'm sure in that world there's always someone. But as far as general population, I've never heard a bad word about Shaq. Have you heard about his shoes? Can I tell the shoe story? Shaq, this lady

comes up to Shaq. She's mad at him. Black lady. She's yelling at him. At first he thinks she's a fan and then he's taken back because she's mad at him. She's like, you making them, y'all making damn shoes. So expensive.

These babies are out here killing each other over. They kill each other with shoes. And, and these single mamas can't afford to buy them in shoes anyway, even to keep the children alive. You're killing them. You're killing your people and profiting off it. You're already a millionaire.

He said, I felt so bad. I went my pocket and I come up with all the money i had i tried to give it to a seven like five thousand dollars she slapped it out of my hand said you know what you're right i'm gonna do something about this i went wherever it was reebok nike whoever it was i said i said uh all our contracts and you know i'm gonna keep up my end but we done after this you know that's all done and i went and i made my own shoe, and I made them $25, and now everybody can wear a pair of Shaxx.

And ain't nobody got to die over no Shaxx or whatever. And it was a real sweet story of him explaining that he realized that she was right, that he was profiteering off of these $150 sneakers. I looked at what a pair of Air Force Ones cost last night, and the ones I wanted were like $275. For sneakers? Who makes those? Air Force Ones?

Is that Jordan? No, those are Nikes. Y'all don't know what Air Force Ones are? No, I didn't know if it was Nike or what. There's a goddamn song about them. Yeah, from Nelly. I know Nelly. He's from here. He's one of our few St. Louis celebrities.

Him, Jon Hamm, Pam from The Office. All the hits. Pam from The Office? She's not dead. No, I was joking about St. Louis celebrities. Like the weird few that we have. Pam from The Office.

You added the late. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I didn't mean to say late. She is not dead. She's very much alive. That's good. I like that lady.

Not working a lot anymore. Over the years, I've begun to agree with the internet that Pam is a real shitty human being. That she's... She is. She's real bad. So just to lay it out, because I think think everybody's an office fan now it seems like but but she's shitty she was jim supports her every step of the way whether it's art school or um her futzing around with her career

when she defrauds the company and makes up a position and then just lies about it and then collects a salary that she makes up um he supports her through all about it and then collects a salary that she makes up um he supports her through all of that and then um when when he like steps out a little bit of of what her comfort zone is and tries to do something for them so for the family um to try to like expand the business she's like crying and trying to like thinking about and like in the arms of another man crying uh essentially so i've always thought that jim should have uh divorced her and uh and and took the custody of those kids and let her run away with that bearded boom operator see if he can get back to new york

and scare karen up because no karen's in unica or wherever karen's a fucking got her career together they go to philly together They're a real power couple. Pam probably ends up on the drink. On the drink. Who was Pam's original fiance? Roy. Do you remember?

Roy started thriving as soon as he got rid of Pam. Rocket ship. Got his own gravel business. Dude's getting fit. Got a beautiful Pam. Rocket ship. Rocket ship. Got his own gravel business. All right? Dude's getting fit. Got a beautiful wife. He's playing the piano. He's fucking serenading her.

Yeah, yeah. He's like, baby, you know how I was taking... He's like, at their wedding, he's like, baby, you know how I said I was taking boxing lessons for the last six months? Actually, I was doing this. You are beautiful in so many ways. and it's like he can sing too there's a part where as pam is hogging down her third slice of cake fat face

jim is like he plays piano and she's like no and then he goes fucking fucking nailing it over there. Yeah. Pam was, Pam was a fucking anchor of a human being. She wasn't attractive past season two. And, and Jim,

Jim passed up so many opportunities, whether it was career opportunities, love opportunities, life opportunities for her. Karen, who was hotter. Karen, and Karen was actually nicer too too karen who's got a degree karen who has a career karen who like i don't know doesn't dress like a librarian i don't

know i liked karen a lot karen was awesome she was funny she was quirky she cracked jokes with jim remember when she was singing at the wedding she She had Spock. I like Karen. Fuck Pam. Fuck Pam. Yeah. She's not a good character. I totally forgot how much Roy changed and went from the basement box packing guy to success.

Yeah. So true. So true. Pam does suck. Roy's brother's a real scumbag piece of shit, though. He seemed awful. Even at the wedding, Roy's trying to downplay a success and he's like you don't need me to talk to this shirt man's got a 90 000 sports car it's like everybody wants a hype man like that i suppose but man it came off as shitty i don't have the encyclopedic knowledge of the office like you i i have

watched it through probably you know twice fully every time michael leaves i kind of drift out and stop because it's like this just just kind of like what as soon as andy makes his seasons like when andy makes his first appearance on screen is the beginning of the end of the oh oh you're so wrong no yeah andy andy is like the end of the attempt to be quirky of dwight but it's totally inorganic and they realize that they had to keep harping that same note to keep the vibe going and so the the beginning of dwight is like wow a goofy goober who's like befuddled by uh by social situations he's not like ready for and by the end it's like we're gonna burn his house down

as a prank. It gets so crazy. And Andy is actually a retarded person. They retool Andy's character after his first season, which is season three, I think. He's the violent, rage-filled guy who

can't take Jim's jokes. Who doesn't have a sense of humor you know he's the guy who's like like like like has a personality disorder and that wasn't gonna work you know he punches the wall when he finally gets the the there and they send him to anger management and when he comes back they completely retool that character and they do it a second time later on when they make him the boss but but um yeah i love the office i've seen it so so many times i'd like to do office trivia some night if i could find uh a place that does that shit because it's fun every time i um yeah you can find that yeah yeah i i think like like there's

there's in the office iceberg i can go pretty deep i can't go down to the bottom like there's some crazy shit down at the bottom i don't know jim's brother's names i always use that as my thing like when like fuck i don't know j Jim's brother's names. I always use that as my thing. Like, fuck, I don't know Jim's brother's names. Why haven't I memorized this? Fuck it. Wait, wait. No, I can't do it. I don't know.

Well, you got to study up. You got to bone up on your office knowledge before your next trivia night. I just don't have the time. You just don't have the time. I bet Jim probably goes so far. dude i love that like do that sincerely sometime like if when someone asks you to do something be like i would if i had the time yeah pencil that in for next wednesday remember jim's brother's names you like have like a tuesday the fifth morning shit like the teeth

yeah my notes here keep track yeah your your facts your your theories yeah well well like i'll think of something funny like being hoisted by your own retard like i love that little little turn of a phrase um and so i've got to like write it down so i don't forget it because i will um the the other thing i want to talk about of course was drag queen story hour if y'all know what drag queen story, give us the story. So the story. So it started out the way I found out about drag queen story hour was I wanted to like, I guess prove myself, my assumptions,

right? So I started Googling in a way that would lead me to my, the results I wanted knowing that I was doing so, but at the same time realizing that then I'm planning to double back fact check and see if I was just able to figure out the way things are in the world. So there's this terrorist attack that happened in North Carolina, these domestic terrorists shooting these power transformers, putting a lot of power out, putting lives at risk, domestic terrorists. Somebody died. Someone died as a result of it. I read. Oh, oh fuck however it happened it

happened and um and and so i i heard that there was also some people that were upset about some drag shows or something like that and i thought that was weird because i don't i don't know anybody who cares about drag shows i remember that old movie with wesley snipes and a couple other guys and it's called like birdcage or something and they're straight man drag queens and it's a comedy and like i remember my dad watching that area and we all had a hoot and nobody thought that drag queens were like queers or like bad or something that was gross or anything we thought it was like i don't know some kind of vaudeville like comedy skit bit kind of thing i don't know something like that and it cut from that cloth but i i kept digging and uh

and i found the story hour and and i wanted to connect those two things i'm not sure if i can though because it does seem like those militia groups were marching in a place where it was going to be an adult drag show that night and and that's what that that the one group was marching about when i saw the people like a show for adults you mean right yeah yeah a legitimate one yeah like that nobody here gives a fuck about is it does it even ask what if we're for it is stupid the real question is do you even give a fuck the answer is no like let them go dress in dresses and put on

a show anytime and night they want everybody needs hobbies but drag if you're reading to children then there are people who are upset about that there should be nobody upset about adults doing a show at 11pm at night which i guessed at uh that's for grown-ups it's not a yeah so so i want so while i i do want to draw the

the the the line though between drag queen story hour and things like it and the shooting because i think that's what's happened because i think that what's been done to the kinds of people who might do something like that is they've been told that all of these drag shows have something to do with some QAnon child molesting drag queen story hour people. Zach, could you just Google search

drag queen story hour images and then just show the whole page? Look at it first to make sure there's no gamer words or actual nudity on google search you've got safe search on there shouldn't be on mine there's certainly not i'm looking at it now but it is fucking wild what drag queen story hour looks like it's a program where drag queens go and read to very small children in schools and other and libraries and uh it has several times been infiltrated by pedophiles and um child pornographers and and like you'll find stories

that like debunk stories that say what i just said but then you'll find more stories that say what I just said, but then you'll find more stories that are like sometimes, what they've done is there was one guy who was he was a pedophile, but his organization was his own organization, and while he did fund the Drag Queen Story Hour, he wasn't a member per se, and they really want to let you know

that if you start Googling about pedophiles in Drag Queen Story Hour, because it's important to him that his organization, was called like the cream tower or something like that um yeah that they're the ones who were they were just funded they were just donating money to the the the drag queen power hour story time hour um they weren't he wasn't actually a member he was the he was one of the child porn uh. But then I saw in Texas there was an actual child molester who was reading it. It just seems like a bad idea. I don't want my kid, my hypothetical fake kid, being read to by the drag queens.

It also seems like none of your business, and I'll say why. I'm looking at those kids. They look like they were two and a half years old. They didn't get there by accident. They didn't get there by themselves. They weren't at schools. These were, as far as I can tell, at events that parents took their kids to

to see this storytime performance. If that's true, I don't care. If I'm right, yeah. Maybe I projected a truth on it that makes it a little more okay if they're going to your kid's school and reading to the kids then i'm like ah no no i think that's the case should be opt-in this should be opt-in right parents should choose to take their kids of this thing and then a situation like that like i saw kids sitting on parents laps in those pictures then that's just whatever family's doing it their way and i'm kind of a

you know small government big organization all the way across the country though so i guarantee they're in schools at some point i guarantee like like because that's what i would have an issue with is like guess what happened today a lady with a beard read me a story about dicks wait what oh no the whole story about dicks start to finish now i'm gonna be a dog boy it's drag queen story time yeah now that's that's a fake beard no it's not you can tell look it's look how Look at the line. Don't be hating on that man's geometry. He just squared up. That's racist, Taylor.

This is a fake fucking beard. I know. I've been to costume stores. It looks like Khabib. Come on, that's a real beard. Just the least offensive thing we've ever said. That's a fake beard this is like Al Capone and fucking tax evasion

is what we just heard they're gonna get me Capone style for the technicality yeah man so I do if they're coming to the kids then I can see why people would be upset about that if the parents are taking their kids there then maybe you should

just mind your own business not you but like whoever's upset yeah yeah uh my theory though about the shooting is that it's someone who has that their belief is that children are being targeted by drag queens um and they're hearing about these drag queens in their area and they're doing this because of that that's my theory that they think that all of the drag queen shows are perhaps i don't know q anon child molesters who read stories to children and some of those gentlemen really were upsetting to look at them be honest i would have a hard time paying attention to the story i think that's that's my complaint i thought the uh arms dealer was sexier than the drag queens, but maybe that's just my preference. That mustache.

You're really obsessed with that man's mustache. That dude blows. But it's not supposed to be sexualized, any of this, right? It's the first time I'm hearing about this. I'll sexualize any arms dealer I want to, and you can't stop me. I'm talking about the topic we're talking about. You do what you want with your sexuality, man. I'm not trying to police that shit. Right these books aren't sexual and topic right no they're probably

reading like you know fucking mind comp for animal farm they're listening to ye that's what you're saying they're indoctrinating them i'm sure no i bet they're reading fucking charlotte's web and shit i i don't know i don't know i really didn't look into it i just saw like children being read to by by men in dresses and i suppose that was a funny image yeah i don't know it doesn't seem i kind of i kind of like what he's taking that it doesn't doesn't seem like much of a problem to me if parents are going this is safe for my kid and i'm happy to have them exposed to some yeah yeah types of people sure yeah as long as they're a child uh beauty pageants, then I got no problem with

if you want to sign your kids up for this reading hour as well. That's one of the worst things to do. The important thing is to protect the child beauty pageants. God bless America. It's one of our traditions. We do it. No one else on the planet does child beauty pageants.

It's weird as fuck. They've got ugly children, probably. Well, they do, but at the end of them, they sell the children to men. Those are the only other child beauty pageants in the world. It's real gross and disgusting. I would have thought the JonBenet Ramsey thing would have killed that whole

thing. It would have just been like, oh my god, of course no one does that anymore. Don't you remember that little girl? Did it explode off of the back of that? I like to think it did. That'd be gross if it did. That'd be so gross to find out. What, did it explode

off the back of JonBenet Ramsey? Is that what I said? I don't know. I like it though. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I like it though. Yeah. Jesus Christ. But I always wonder about where's the money when I see something like that because

sponsorship dollars kind of run everything. If it's not profitable, it doesn't get any play. How do those things get put on? Who are the... Are we on the drag show or the child... Tonight's Little Beauty is brought to you by Vaseline!

Or like, who's bringing you this night of little beauties? Yeah, like, who is it? Like, by Jimmy John's attorney at law! She didn't tell your age! That's our motto! Or like, whatever the fuck.

Is it like child is who is where's the money at in these things like like how does it get put on how are there enough parents because clearly parents are like wanting their kids to win the thing why for a little crown and like a sash it's gonna be cash prize two hundred dollars to get in and you know the winner takes the loser's money. God, that'd be wild if you were making them pay. Speaking of making them pay, all right, do you know about the whole Patty Pimblitt, Ariel Helwani drama?

I know most of it. I haven't seen Ariel's response because it was an hour and 15 minutes long. I can tell it real fast. There's an MMA journalist named Ariel Helwani who's on the outs with the UFC, most of all with Dana White, he's been excluded and cut out as many times as Dana White can, but he can't kill him because he's a very popular guy in the industry. Dana White goes on Patty Pimblitt, who is a new and upcoming stars podcast.

The boss goes on a junior fighters podcast and they shit all over air Hawane. And they say some, just lots of insults and things. But, but moreover, like the Patty's complaint this this very popular young fighter was that um was that Ariel doesn't pay

people that he interviews and that he's making money off of fighters via his interviews and his platform and his YouTube channel and they're they're making him out to be this guy who's just predatory and then of course Ariel Hel Hawane goes on his show today. And for an hour and a half, he destroys them. For an hour and a half, he destroys them. He's got text messages and voice memos and evidence. And he's got this, he goes step by step playing everything they said i had like taking the high road anytime they call him a scummy cocksucker i'm like we're not gonna

deal with that and then but then like he wants the step by step showing how that everything they said was kind of silly or a lie and like setting up the timing. Basically, Patty goes to Ariel. This is months back. The timeline is this. Patty goes to Ariel and says, hey, could we set up an interview? Ariel says, yeah, we could absolutely do that. Let's set it up. And Patty's like, all right, talk to my manager, Mark. He'll get your thing set up. Mark says, hey, we'd like to get a budget together for this interview. We get paid for our time. And a lot of doing that now. And, and Ariel's like, I don't do that. I don't pay people for interviews. I've never paid for an interview. Um, sorry. That's not a thing that I do. And so they get into this whole back and forth where Patty's guys like offended and Ariel's like, look, I, Conor

McGregor doesn't get paid for interviews. Like, like, like, do you think Joe Rogan pays his guests? Do you think, you know, any number of people, Larry King pays his guests? No, these people come on because it's media. That's what we're doing here. And basically, Patty was made to look a fool, and his Instagram is just him really being shit on. And it's been interesting because he's a real fan favorite, but not today. And he's got a big fight coming up this weekend.

It's one of those. He's the guy who's trying to rise up the rankings. He's incredibly popular with the fans, but every fight seemingly is a bit of a bigger test for him. Everybody's, oh, can he be champion? It's like he hasn't done anything. He hasn't beaten anyone really of note. It's funny that he's shitting all over Ariel because he was the the guy when it was revealed that patty makes 12 000 to show and 12

000 to win he was the one to be like that's horse shit he just filled an arena like he just filled an arena he just sold pay-per-view and you're paying him 24 000 like patty the baddie's a very popular fighter kyle knows this and uh but he on the starter contract, which is like, what, 12 to show and 12 to win? Something like that. Which is pretty low pay for a UFC fighter. For most professional athletes, that's pretty low. Yeah, so after two fights, he's still on that stupid contract, but he's as popular as the top guys. But he hasn't beaten anybody good.

I can't name a person patty's beaten but i can tell you they sing his song when he walks into the octagon and i can tell you every time he talks i listen i don't know what it is about him but he has it so i'm captivated by him i'm captivated by the fact that this guy fights at maybe 155 i think that's right but i'm not sure yes and balloons to like 205 between fights he gains 50 fucking pounds he's in unrecognizable how fun he's one of those people that puts on uh fat in his face really easily and uh he looks like a different human he looks like a caricature of fight night patty the baddiety. Like someone photoshopped him and tried to make him look like this stupid whale.

They call him Patty the Fatty. Yeah. But – and he's like, you guys body-shamed me. You said I could never make weight. I don't know. Look, it works for him. Jon Jones used to do that too. He'd get really out of shape.

Nobody does it like Patty. Nobody does it like Patty. And he didn't do it this time to be fair. Dude, I love his hair. Look at the cheek. The sunken in cheeks on the right and the swollen ones on the left. That's not even his

fattest picture. He gets so big, dude. He gets disgusting. He's the man. He can fucking do it. Look, we talk about it here so many times. He's never misplaced. When you're a professional athlete like that, you can fucking do it and it's look we talk about it here so many times calories in and calories out and when you're a professional athlete like that like you can just do it i think there's a finite number of times you can go up and down like that oh it's not great for you yeah and moreover like i've heard chelsea make this point like like the ufc like in particular

no other sport is like this yeah right if you stay if you stay in shape and you stay fight ready even if you don't have a fight this weekend if you're there in town they can call you up it's one of those things where like people get cut and and bumped and bruised and sprained ah i can't fight tonight and if you're there and you have can make the way and you're a name like he is you can just jump in they'll be like all right fuck can you you can make weight yeah by tomorrow absolutely by right now if you want and like those guys can step in and make tens of millions of dollars because it's why it's it's conor mcgregor would always say yes whenever they whenever they were like somebody got hurt and they're going to be a different opponent or whatever it's like look we're putting the fight on too we've sold this

shit like we're doing it like he didn't cancel any has connor ever like pulled out or been the guy who like caused one not to go off khabib has all of your favorite fighters more or less have like like i can't think of a time connor didn't do it i can tell you connor has showed up injured and so many times yeah and won and lost yeah think he was going to fight Cole Miller, a fighter I like a lot he's probably retired now and the guy's thumb was hurt he's a grappler so that's a big deal to him

but his thumb's hurt he's like I'm pulling out, I can't fight with this bad thumb and Connor's like a thumb? you don't need a thumb to fight what else does he say he just says tom a lot i want to get good at doing what are you doing impressions oh it's a tom oh

if it had gone a little more it would have got here It's a Tom. Oh, Tom. If he had gone a little more, he would have got the ear. Woody always approaches like South Park style Mexican. Yeah, this guy, Patty the Batty, seems awesome. Patty Pimblitt. A fan favorite. He's 19 and three, but you're saying like these only his most recent three are actually in the ufc yeah it's shocking when you see him come into the stadium like like they when what he says they sing his song it's his song is like oh patty the

baddie they're like chanting his name they're singing his name as he comes in and having a goddamn meltdown and a ton of them have that same stupid fucking haircut as him they're like chanting his name they're singing his name as he comes in and having a goddamn meltdown and a ton of them have that same stupid fucking haircut as him like watch saturday night on the tv coverage when he walks out there's gonna be like a handful of guys out there with that same fucking haircut and it's blonde it's blonde mine's about the same as his right now i haven't had a haircut like four months or something mine i pulled mine down it's blonde. Mine's about the same as his right now. I haven't had a haircut in like four months or something. If I pulled mine down, it's about like his. That blonde...

I thought you were saying your hair is just as blonde and I'm like, let him have it. I knew that Patty the Batty had some connection with Dave Portnoy, the barstool sports owner. It looks like they signed him to a seven-figure deal.

Barstool did. So he's doing good now, seemingly. Yeah, because of the publicity he got off the back of Ariel Helwani. But this is show business, right? The fighting matters in the UFC to some degree, but so does the persona and the publicity around it and the fan engagement and everything. We have no problem with him making money. I always tell my wife like for a guy to be successful in the ufc he needs to do two things he needs to fight well and he needs to be good on the mic

and for a girl to be successful she needs to fight well and she needs to be pretty that's what that's how you do it we're not just successful like you want to be superstar like like you could be successful and be an ugly motherfucker or whatever, but to be a superstar, look at the mold. It's already there. Look at Ronda Rousey. Someone who comes out. Her style didn't matter. She was pretty

and she got that shit over in 30 seconds and she had a mystique. Her style was boring as shit. Her style was judo, for those who don't know. she grabs you by the arm uses slings you to the floor and puts you in an arm bar and you tap out like so many of her fights are like a minute two minutes two and a half minutes against people who don't have any jiu-jitsu it's uh you know she's running through them but that was the weight class at the time

there weren't a lot of girls with jiu-jitsu a lot of girls who could stand and bang and like like had good boxing and she just ran through them and she was really pretty and she's pretty good on the microphone too i watched her howard stern interview and i thought wow she's okay good she's representing herself in the sport well because whenever you see mma has has gotten huge in the last two or three years especially the with the pandemic. The pandemic was amazing for it. But man, I feel seven years ago, I can remember people talking shit on the growth numbers and stuff. And like, like Dana was having to defend his numbers and,

and he'd be like, yeah, baby, last week didn't go so well, but look at this number. You know, it was kind of like that. It wasn't like it was in decline,

but it wasn't gangbusters. But since that buyout deal and all that stuff, it's been huge to me in my world. Anyway, maybe buyout deal and all that stuff, it's been huge. To me, in my world anyway, maybe all my algorithms just feed me UFC, but seems to me in my little world that the UFC is a big deal. Yeah. It's doing well. It definitely is.

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who like caught him and uh he was on the joe rogan uh show again the other day like they were going over like the evidence and everything and riffing on how much that guy spends on peds every month when i first saw the list or i saw the number of like 11 or 12k a month i was like y'all don't know how this works let me look and it was like oh my god it was doing so much uh the it's because it's far and i think it's because it's pharmaceutical grade um human growth hormone and that shit is really really expensive and he's doing so much of it and it's one of those things where like i thought that stuff had diminishing returns i That's what I've always read and been told, that I think people take, like bodybuilders even,

I think they take a couple of IUs. I use their... International units. International units. Just a little bitty... Do I have a syringe? It's a tiny amount. I got a syringe somewhere.

Now I cleaned them all up because it was looking kind of sketchy to have syringes on my face. He used to be... I inject... somewhere now i cleaned them all up because it was looking kind of sketchy i inject in this chair because it's like i don't know it's it's it's it's it's the nicest chair i own i think for one thing it's like 650 it's not a herman miller but i love it and i've got like you know my bottles here it's nice to have a table in front of me anyway i inject here so there's often syringes and i at 12 is so and i use a tiny tiny amount but like 12 a day of that strikes me as like it'd be like somebody's saying they're doing like three or four grams of testosterone a week or something you said like a tiny amount do you use hgh no no no no i didn't say i use the time i was just like like, that's what's like protocol.

Like whenever I like, if you go to like our steroids, right? There's a subreddit for steroids. There's a bunch of them. There's another one for, I go to a lot of the fitness subreddits. Anyway, you'll see guys with their protocol. Like, no, I take this much of this, that, and the other. And like the mix that they talk like a little cocktail or whatever i've never seen anybody that takes that much could he be an innovator like

everyone else is like there's no point in that like no keep going he's like pushing the limit to this well look he does have a very particular look to him very muscular guy right pretty ripped guy it's not just it's about his abdominals and like like the way they pop to me are his like biggest craziest trait and i've heard people say and and derek and joe rogan were talking about this they were saying like you know has there been a little like lipo around the muscle to make it pop is there something behind the muscle like we talk about implants and there's the goofy looking implants like bruce buffert has the announcer for the ufc has abs. And it's like he took a Ninja Turtle costume and stuck it under his skin.

It looks weird. Are they fake abs or are they selective liposuction? That's what I thought it was. I was told, you know, I guess maybe I just, whenever Joe told us about the fake abs, I thought implants was what we were talking about. I guess it's possible he did something different, but always thought it was implants i know there are implants regardless but maybe he's got something like behind the muscle because like with breast implants i sometimes if

they're if they're not in there right if they're like behind them the uh the muscle like they're not as they don't look as real like maybe that's what's going on maybe he's hiding that there's something fake behind the muscle he's doing so much though it was interesting to see those emails he had this whole plan right for his trajectory and social media and the career that he could make from this all the while dragging his family along with the nine tenants of of like i don't know masculinity or whatever they're eating ground beef at the table and the kids are walking around dragging 45 pound plates with

dumbbells in their hands. And it's like, oh my God. It looked like he was raising a master race over there because he's got like four or five kids and all of them have different size like kettlebells and all of them have different... He's got a rough stack on you

know have you seen yeah yeah this makes total sense though you do this with dogs right like you have two little dogs have a ton of energy you run them around like a power sleep this means same deal five kids that's a way to use parenting exactly good idea yeah i um i think i don't get it i don't i don't apparently he's he's a hundred millionaire or something. He's made tens of millions of the liver king, like this thing, like his products and everything. I've also heard that. Sometimes people in the public eye exaggerate

how much money they have because it makes them a bigger deal. A hundred million is a lot. Has his empire fallen down from this? Has all of his views like stopped is this a whole lifestyle he was selling and it's all a bunch of bullshit or is this like no one really cared how he got there they're mostly interested in watching this weird rip

guy eat raw meat like what what's the i don't know but it's a mix yeah because he's definitely popular because of the novelty of like oh a shredded guy and like a weird like headdress made out of like animal fur and he's eating a raw piece of liver. Can we get a picture of Liver King, Zach? This guy doesn't seem to own a shirt. I didn't want to bias Zach, but I'm sure the picture he finds will be

shirtless unless he fucks with me. I've never seen this guy with a shirt on. There are other YouTubers that tried to debunk him. They were trying to prove that he had fake abs. And they told him to relax his abs, and he couldn't. He said that at this – oh, he found that shirt. Okay, Zach.

That's the most shirt he's ever had on. That's like what they give you when you go to prom for underpants. Yeah, this guy can't relax his abs. He was sitting there in a chair in like the kind of the slouched over position i'm in right now and he still had abs and he couldn't not have abs and it's like these are fake they're so fucking fake that's not just exercise and diet yeah that to me is weird um what you like like i use that when i tell people um the story of the liver king i talk about what you just explained to me about how his abs just are there all the time.

He says he sleeps with them tensed. He trains in his sleep, his ab workout. It's retarded. With his shoes off. That's the key. I will say that there have been times when I'm purposefully tensing and focusing on keeping them tensed for long periods of time if i'm working out or doing things i'm not sleeping like that like i'm doing the equivalent of a plank or something so i have heard and you know the the thing that everybody will rip on hgh about is like making

your uh your organs enlarge and and then that pushes the uh your stomach out and gives you that hgh gut they talk about i think that that's like overblown they make it seem just like his belly they make it seem like if you take any at all you're gonna look like this this is the guy who's taking a insane amount 12 a day 12 i use a day like You'd be looking at the huge amount of liquid that you're pushing, but it's a human growth hormone. I think that it's... It's like an animal. I'm not an expert, but there's the amount you take,

which you've mentioned, and the amount of time you take it over. You could take a lot in one day, and it's not going to make a visible... Your organs aren't going to grow. This guy's only been doing it for a year now, right? Yeah. Well, no, no, no. He was saying, this is what I'm currently on. And he was like looking to do some other stuff. So I don't know how long he'd been on the HGH.

I don't know. Everybody should have known this was something fishy when like the ancestral tenants live like monkey guy shaves his chest. Well, man, he looks tremendous. Like, look, everything aside, man, he's so thick and powerful through his shoulders and chest and back. He is an incredible physical. He is a short guy, though, isn't he? He is short, but that just makes you look thicker. Don't you love that?

Doesn't that make you feel great, Taylor? Every time one of these gigantic motherfuckers has to stand next to an adult man. And somebody's brave enough to get their phone out and show us like yeah at least i'm way taller than this guy so that's that how tall is he i think he's five seven we saw him hang on just to be clear paulo paulo cost is clearly standing on a chair for like jokes over there like but the guy on the left candidate but the guy on the left and paulo cost is natural by the way like this like to be clear like this is the difference between a professional athlete and an unnatural regular human being like the guy on the right worked his whole life to look like that and passes usada test left and right the guy in the middle

would melt a cup yeah he'd melt a cup you're right yeah with just that fucking pelt on his head is kind of badass though i'm like he is injecting so much shit, like, his pee is yellow. Like, it can't even all be absorbed. It just goes right through him. Yeah, I used to take so much of this stupid shit called T-Bomb 2 that my pee would turn kind of fluorescent greenish. But somewhere between, it was like a highlighter, kind of yellowish green.

This is years ago when I was, like, 19 or 20. T-Bomb 2 is a testosterone booster you buy over the counter at gnc and so it works look i don't fucking know man but but i would take the and they were supposed to take like two a day or something or 80 a bottle or something and i was taking like 12 just pissing nothing but b vitamins yeah yeah like and i was getting so and and you know i was getting stronger much faster than my cousin and i was attributing it all to the t-bomb really i was probably just like working real hard but yeah i used to take a ton of t-bomb

too when i was a teenager it's probably still in the market if i that's that's a bit of nostalgia if i were to see that bottle again in his regimen is that on the list no his regimens all very scientifically uh efficacious injections yeah all of his stuff was from what he tells people he's doing is like take your shoes off uh pretend to be a wolf at night like just just like you know he's son's his asshole right? He suns his asshole. Of course he does. That's not even weird compared to somebody else. That's where the photosensitive receptors are, of course. At least that, like, does it matter what area of your body the sun?

I can smell that bottle. Like, the sun hitting your arm skin is going to be beneficial the same way the sun hitting your arm skin is gonna be beneficial the same way the sun hitting your butthole would be no the vitamin d is coming in uh no you just look like a goober with your ass spread at the park the melanin in your skin is is preventing those rays from penetrating you okay you you've built up a callus to the to god's great light i took accutane i'm good you've built up a callus to god's great light in the sky. I took Accutane. I'm good. You built a callous to God's great light in the sky. Your asshole, however, it is uncalloused. Okay?

So you get down on all fours, and you point it up to God's great sky, and you absorb his energy straight from the tap. For me, it's about the emotional health. I don't have a place where the sun don't shine. It shines. For me, it's about making people at the bank uncomfortable. Zach, see if you can

find a picture of him sunning his asshole, because I'm 97% sure that's a real thing. Is it balls sunning? I guess you're not going to sun your asshole without sunning a ball. As much as I would love to, I'm going to pass my time here, guys. Thanks for having me on. Good luck with that picture. without saying as much as i would love to i'm passing my time here guys thanks for uh good luck with that picture

filthy doesn't want himself next to that picture it's been many things we've seen on this show i could just miss that one i'll send you a link thanks for coming on So I'm on a motor ride I'm on a 6,000 mile motorcycle trip To California and back I needed a conquest So I loaded up the bike

Turns out the most challenging Back road discovery route is the only winter route So Fuck it here I am Last time I tried this I broke my leg How far are you how far are you there so far like how close to you are getting to california or wherever i'm in shrevenport louisiana so maybe almost halfway shreveport do you know this town kyle

i've heard shreveport okay well i Well, I had extra letters because, you know. Shreveport? That's how they talk down here. It's me from Louisiana. My name is Juan Pablo, and I am a Cajun man. So I tried to, in the summer, my objective was to do the Colorado and Wyoming back road discovery route. There's like nine of them, and they're kind of in the middle in terms of difficulty. And I fucked up. I made a bad decision, and I broke my leg.

And it was kind of this stench of failure. I haven't quite shaken yet. So we're going for round two. We're going to try it again and be smarter this time. And this one's the California one. It's supposed to be the hardest i'll let you know what i think so you had spur of the how spur of the moment was this trip well i probably decided like i don't know two three weeks two and a half weeks ago okay and uh lead time um i had some bike

prep and shit to do and to get done i put i installed heated grips and a heated seat for the wintertime riding which i didn't need today and uh um yeah i don't know i'm kind of psyched i'm going for it as i left home and it was it was rainy and it was this cold hurtful december rain i'm, why am I doing this exactly? I could be home right now. This is type 2 fun. Yeah, man. I can reminisce with myself about this,

I guess. Can't wait to remember this later. Man, that sounds awful. I'm glad that you are having a good time and you have chosen this this very difficult winter trip to to make a 6 000 mile solo venture out into the wilderness and on the highways during the holidays yeah a lot of you get home before

the holidays how long is the trip i my target is to get home on the 23rd so it's i've got a little buffer to get ever seen planes trains and automobiles yes yeah yeah i hope you have an equally funny adventure you're the steve martin in the scenario i hope so um yeah i'm an easy guy easy yeah so there's not a lot of buffer time i can't fuck up too bad i already have an issue i need a new tire i was gonna go i have a tire getting shipped to Tucson, Arizona, and I'm looking at it, and the shipment date is behind schedule. So I'm going to have to improvise, I think. You're going to miss Christmas.

Like, all but guaranteed. That's so funny, planning to get back the 23rd. I'm sure there will be no traffic that's high stakes yeah there won't be any traffic nobody's gonna believe you if you get stopped by a cop somewhere they're not gonna believe you fucking fuck so what are you doing out on these roads this time of night during the holidays i hadn't honed my family where that in north carolina you may tell me that you're driving five states at night for your family i'm family won't you come on off the back sir step on back here ronnie get the dog and the dog this guy's clearly on drugs whatever it takes i don't know

we'll get it done we'll get it um yeah it'll be fun high stakes like you'll be racing holy shit i'm i'm worried for you this sounds stressful my problem is what if i get hurt like i'm watching i'm showing jackie videos right and uh this you know, he's in like Death Valley or something and the sand's getting deep and he's struggling and I'm laughing at him like, this guy fucking sucks. He's not good at this. You know, like look at him crash. He's solving his problems all wrong. Like he couldn't get up the hill.

So he took his luggage off the bike and like got the bike up without the luggage and then carried the luggage on his own. And I'm like, this guy, he just fucking incompetent. And then he breaks his leg. And I'm like, well, that hits a little close to home. Well, some things are unavoidable, you know. And he calls. Now, when I broke my leg, I was about 100 miles deep in the woods,

and I rode the bike out. This guy calls for a medevac? He has a helicopter cub? He didn't even ride it out? And I don't know know i wasn't impressed but i'm gonna do better i hope you frowned on the medevac i would also no i'm with woody on this one like i feel like self-extract yeah yeah baby it's a little embarrassing to to call for help like like so you want to make sure if you're gonna call for help that you need it now there's a fine

line there don't be laying there in a pool of blood like i don't want any convenience anyone right like like you know call for help but but at the same time as long as like you can feel your foot you know like the blood supply hasn't been cut off that's the problem that you'd run into and then like blood clots and stuff you know that. And then you die or lose your foot. Stuff like that can happen. If your foot goes numb after a break, then the bad things are happening. You got to get. I don't know if I don't know what to do if your foot goes numb,

but your foot wasn't numb. It's time to get out of there. And we need a helicopter. You know how much that would cost? Probably not. I wonder. I wonder. I would say insurance probably doesn't cover helicopter rides.

I'm sure you can get insurance for that though I have it I'm not good yeah I'm not even sure I paid $24 to like prepay for my helicopter extraction and I'm like is this right is this really $24 I should fucking fake an injury

because I like the helicopter ride I mean it's more of mental distress I'm pretty down I'm so lonely I was imagining helicopter extract insurance to have like a $3,000 deductible but you're telling me it's $25 and you're in the program

I haven't tested it yet I don't know let me me chip in i would i want that 24 7 i'll give them 20 look i'll give you 12 no you don't have to take me all the way to the hospital the davin busters by the hospital here's good oh they'll charge you eight grand for a goddamn ambulance so i bet a helicopter coming out and into the wilderness like yeah you'll i think i pay i was paying six i didn't have to pay it but i think one time we had a helicopter and it was like 600 an hour for just like some of the basic shit and it was just a little r44 or whatever like like you know like a not a rescue helicopter probably not the kind equipped for that so i'm guessing that's a fifty thousand dollar venture if you don't pay your 24 it's on average 25 grand i've heard of

people paying 47 great yeah well it's worth staying alive yeah oh yeah it's your life i'm gonna be a little more careful this time finger yeah be more careful you'll make it back in time you're bringing a helmet this time right yes yes this time helmet i also brought better boots my boots are i have barefoot motorcycling it's a terrible idea i try to talk him out of it barefoot driving is a bad idea i like any driving do you yeah my toes involved i feel like that was something that like my dad must have imprinted on me like you do not drive barefoot. I mean, if I had a wreck, it could be. Those are cool.

Those are very Judge Dredd. They are. Fashion statement. Yeah, I like those. Do you have anything lined up? Like our idea, like, oh, on the way there, you stop and see this monument. Or you see this park or nothing like that. He's in a hurry.

He's got to get home for Christmas. That's the issue. I have to get home for Christmasmas and it's a little tight like i i would love to dig more dirt roads here to see more places i stayed in the worst oh my god so yesterday i stayed in birmingham birmingham alabama oh dude so i don't try to flex my like poverty roots because i don't really have them but my father does and um now i think because of like visiting my grandmother and stuff like that when i see poor places and bad neighborhoods i swear to god i'm just like this isn't even a bad neighborhood this doesn't seem bad um compton i've seen i've only seen it in video and i'm like compton doesn't

even these look nice compared to gloucester and camden new jersey and uh birmingham i i got there and i smelled the poverty i'm like oh my gosh this is a memory from my childhood this is what poor smells like and i rented a i was like oh a motel cool my dumb ass and it's a motel 8 I think so I think it's really called a motel 8 and like something else 6 but they switched them so it wasn't the franchise but they

fooled me so I'm like oh if it's a franchise they have to meet certain standards welcome to motel 7 and a half a franchise if people don't know has to meet certain standards or they will pull away your franchise license. So if you ever stay at not the night's in, but like the round table in that place to meet the night's in

Arthur's court. What is formerly a courtyard Marriott. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah what is formerly um courtyard marriott yeah yeah yeah so i i go there and the room was 62 after all the taxes and fees damn and it reeks of cigarettes and it's just a bed and like a side table there's nothing else there i asked if one of the rooms had better wi-fi and they're like there's no wi-fi here so i figure i and i'll tether off my phone i i'm two hours into it and the cigarette smell is so overwhelming i'm like fuck it this is even below my standards so i got a better room for the rest of the night it yeah but birmingham alabama has legit like oh on the way from my motel to the other place there was some sort of crime that warranted six police

officers jackknifed in their cars like blocking all the streets like is this a murder like they're dude that is not far from the room i stayed in all right that's pretty they were like cigarette burns i mean for you to turn up for you to turn a hotel room down is brutal because you've stayed in some shitholes i swear it was legit uh yeah birmingham's rough alabama's rough like very poor yeah yeah like georgia has a lot of money that flows in we're right next door but georgia has a ton of money that flows into it from a number of things like like like the movie industry notwithstanding but but fucking alabama's poor shit it just just does georgia have a rivalry with alabama and more than just sports teams

is it like no those fuckers over there, Alabama, nothing like, we're better. No, it's not like, no. It's just football that they're good at. It's their only thing. What else do they do? You know how Georgia's the peach state? We're also the number one producer of granite in the world.

We're very proud of that. I didn't know that. What are they doing, Alabama? What are they doing, Alabama? I bet they do stuff. What's their main export of Alabama? What do they do in Alabama? I bet they do stuff. What's their main export of Alabama? Retardation? I don't know.

I was going to say, along those lines. Babies with skulls that are malformed? Kid Georgia hang in the incest bowl? All right. Alabama's top exports. The GDP is probably identical to Georgia's, by the way. I'm just fucking with them. Mid-sized automobiles.

Piston engines. Large automobile. It's a lot of piston stuff. Isn't Huntsville, Alabama a major space station? Yeah. Coal they do a lot of, I guess. Chemical wood pulp soda.

That's where you go to space camp in Alabama down there. If you go to space camp, that's whereabama down there yeah like if you go to space camp that's where it is it's okay it's actually it's a lot of car stuff really well it's in alabama like i think down there around huntsville where they used to have the original like nasa shit that we've saw in um once for all mankind in that show what is alabama known for hospitality and the history of civil rights struggles. That's one of the things they're bad at. No, that feels like an uncharitable interpretation. Alabama and Mississippi constantly being ridiculed.

They couldn't choose two positives? From the general American perspective, and woody feels the same way like the reason that i am like friends with kyle is the reason that i like hold georgia now and like a higher esteem than like mississippi and alabama because before i was just like oh yeah mississippi alabama georgia that's all kind of the same shit down there and then florida's its own thing. They're not really the South. It's like snowbirds and people. But, yeah, you're a good representative for Georgia. You've single-handedly raised their caste in my eyes.

Georgia is a nice place. Raphael Warnack, our senator, just defeated his retarded opponent. Two sport athletes. I don't know if I told you guys. his retarded opponent. Observedly stupid. I don't know if I told you guys, they came to my house, the Raphael Warnack people. They're trying to get my vote. And these two gals,

and you know, it was noon, so I was asleep. Fucking dead to the world. And they start pounding on the goddamn door, and now the dog dog's losing his shit and I'm trying to hush him. I figured that whoever was at the door would have left by the time I got to it anyway, but there they are.

Oh, we wanted to see if you're going to vote for Raphael Warnack in the upcoming election. I'm like, I'm a felon. A felon. I murdered solicitors this is it and we get a lot of that i changed the solicitor to my radiator they were like they were like that's okay a lot of

rafael supporters are and they gave me some paperwork no none of that happened they did they were like we know sir you want to vote anyway that's what we do democrats reptilian eyes and they blinked sideways at me um but no i was like i'm a fuck i'm a felon i almost said i'm a fucking felon but but I didn't want to curse at two ladies at noon. That would have been a real felon move of you. Like a Monday. But I wanted to cut the conversation off and get back to resting.

I had only been sleeping for 10 hours. I'd been up late. I'd been up late playing that goddamn game. But I was like, I'm a felon. Dark Tides? Yeah, I had been playing a ton of it, but I'm a felon dark times yeah yeah i had i had that i've been playing a ton of it but i'm a felon but yeah rafael wardak won and look i like i haven't looked deeply into his policies i'm sure we disagree on a number of things but herschel

walker is legitimately a very slow-witted man like he is incapable of doing the job i talked to somebody the other day i was like you know regardless of your politics only one of them was capable of doing the job and i don't know what that job entails but i don't think herschel walker could run a wendy's so i'm thinking that being the senator for george is harder than running a wendy's i don't know i'm gonna put my money there so yeah y'all should vote for rafia warnack because herschel walker seems retarded and his own son is on twitter like that's what happens when you hold a knife to my mama's throat and a gun to her head and you whoop our asses and if we tell that's what happens you piece of shit nobody people find out when you when you have your abortions with them women you ran around

and cheated on my mama with and you try to lie. That's what happens. Wait, there was a real thing about a knife and a gun? Oh, yeah. Threatening him? When they tried to hit him with it, Taylor, I can't believe you didn't know this. They tried to hit Herschel with it.

They go, Mr. Walker, what about this report? You held a gun to your ex-wife's head. Threatened her life if she were to leave the home y'all talking about that thing from like 12 years ago he was legitimately like well come on it was the early 2000s michael vick is living in peace somewhere 9-11 was fresh in our minds. 9-11 was fresh in our minds. That was 2010. That was literally...

Get over it. Yeah, that was his point. It was like... He's like a 60-year-old man in 2010. And then he's an ex-star player in the NFL. He was in the UFC. He fought a couple times. I think he was undefeated.

He fought at the CTE thing, maybe? I think he's always been a slow-witted man. I don't think he got... I didn't think he got hit that much. I think of him as a fucking star who just... He's a hero here. He's a running back, right?

I didn't know he was retarded. Running backs hit back, right? So even if he's outstanding, he's going to lower his shoulder hero here who's a running back get hit even i didn't know he was retarded back running backs hit back right so even if he's outstanding he's gonna lower his shoulder and you know push i don't i didn't think of him as a cte guy i think of him as a dumb guy like i think that's the deal um i could be wrong maybe maybe he was like smart as a whip back in the day and now he's just like this but but like he's clearly it could be true the job so i think i jumped too too quick like when like collision sport athletes start getting a little odd like i almost always assume like well yeah your position was literally to be the guy that like gets handed the ball almost every play because

you're a fucking tremendous athlete and so naturally you're gonna get mashed all the time like like like when you hear that somebody's dumb who used to play in the nfl doing some weird shit you're like oh probably because it got smacked in the head too many times yeah probably how many times how many times is too many though right like like i've gotten knocked in the head a few times i know both of y'all have like like like would i be here if i had i've never had a concussion you've really not you've never had a concussion you've never had a concussion. You've never had a concussion? You've never had a concussion? I don't believe so.

You've never felt nauseous? No. Kyle, we lost you there the last half of that sentence. No, I've never hit my head and felt nauseous or anything. I've banged my head before, but thankfully, knock on wood, I don't think I've ever had a concussion. We're talking to Taylor here, Like he has a normal head. Oh. When Taylor bumps heads, the other guy gets the concussion.

I am the concussion. He delivers the concussions. You think I play a sports game? I get a concussion? I am the concussion. I am the one who knocks.'s they base those new helmets off me genetically all superimposed gave my brother and i get a concussion that's what you think of me

that's what you think of me i don't get a concussion i I give the concussion. I am the danger. I fuck you in your ass. I've given my brother a couple of concussions, every single one of them accidental. Totally accidental. Innocent mistakes. Would have happened to anyone. Wrong place, wrong time.

I've had a bunch of little pops. Like, you know, like boxing, like little flash flash like everything kind of goes dark for like a second and you're on your ass and you pop right back up like are you knocked out i i don't know i i don't know if that's a concussion when did that happen like you got hit or were those like your your attacks you sometimes get where you just black out no no i'm boxing like like like like, like, like boxing and getting, getting popped. And like, like everything goes black.

You're on your ass and you're immediately up. I'm not laying on the floor. I'm just down. And then up like, is that an, is that a, is that a concussion? I don't fucking know.

It can't be good. It could be. I mean, they don't know. Like every sport, like their concussion protocols seem to depend on how important that player is at the given moment. They're going to change that after what happened to the Chiefs.

They're going to change that. They ran the Chiefs fucking QB out. His name's spacing on me right now, but that young guy. Yeah, the young guy who was in the Super Bowl against Brady last year and lost. They ran him out there concussed as fuck.

And that was a bad look. So I bet some policies got changed regardless. Zach says it's the Dolphins guy. He's usually right about this stuff. Well, I'm sure that might have happened. I think that happened recently. I think you're referring to that. But I'm thinking about game two or three of the year,

like way back. Was it Patrick Mahomes? Yeah. Yeah. I know who he is. game two or three of the year like like like way back that was it patrick mahomes yeah yeah i know who he is i remember there was a big discussion about why he was even on the field and he was getting hit for the second time because i think i remember one of those instances where like maybe he got popped on a sunday game and then he had to play like a thursday night game or something it was like real quick back-to-back games that was for one reason that was tua sure okay yeah and he has the internet in front of him so he's got to be right i could have real quick back-to-back games. That was Patrick Mahomes. That was Tua. Sure, okay. Yeah.

And he has the internet in front of him, so he's got to be right. I could have sworn it was. And I kind of remember it like Zach does, so. Yeah, okay. Well, in any case, that's not good. But yeah, I don't know what the level on concussions. I've been knocked out out.

At least twice. Like one time was on a rope swing. Like i was on a rope swing where like it's a cable coming out of a tree and it's a loop at the bottom sort of an upside down noose i suppose you would imagine but you stick your foot in that loop and you know you swing out and it was it was cable that had been left over when the the power company had put in a line it was that thick stuff that's up suspended and i thought that would like hold a car up or something but i guess from using it as a swing as it's certainly not intended to do it like wore into overtime and i was like at the apex of a swing such that when it snapped the back of my head just kind of continued on with a lot of force into the ground and i very much remember being out and

then opening my eyes and how was i or the swing the swing was maybe a couple years old wow so people have been swinging on it for years and you would i had been swinging it was my swing oh this was gonna happen to you yeah this was my swing this is all on my dad's place like we built the swing were you a child? I built this scenario where it was like a semi-public place. At first, I thought it was going to be over a river. You know how this often swings where people play? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what we wanted. Poor Kyle came along after thousands of people played with it. And you know, it broke on him. But that's not how it happened. So yeah, growing up on that farm, we would work in the mornings. But then with the rest of the afternoon, it's like, what do you want to do? I don't know. I want a rope swing.

All right, let's fucking build one. So we'd build it. Well, what's the point of a rope swing if we don't have a pond? So we'd just build a pond. We've got equipment. So you could just build a little dam, flood this area right here, and now when we swing out, we've got a little pond to fall into, and we'll just patch it back up with a bulldozer and let it go on its way later.

You could just do little projects like that that and this was one of them and that was definitely a concussion because i was knocked out fuck out did you go to the doctor were you just like no i got up and like i was like damn the swings broke and that was it i don't think we ever fixed the swing after that. Then when I came off that ATV I came off that ATV and that was 100% unconscious and when I came to I was having a seizure. Then I've had a couple of panic attacks where I don't know how hard

I hit my head but my head hurt when I woke up and I was like skint up from falling on asphalt. The problem is if you go completely unconscious and you can't break your fall at all you fall weird sometimes you've probably seen people get like ko'd in the street and they fall down like a i don't know like a dummy and hit their head on the ground and that's what die yeah they die sometimes oh my well remind i'm just gonna write continue i'm gonna write it down so I can bring this up after this topic.

Okay. I've been knocked out twice. Once was in ice hockey. I've talked about it before. I was playing defense in a no-check league. I was kind of stretched out trying to just disrupt the play. When you play defense, anything that happens that isn't what the offense had in mind is an improvement yeah so i was just

trying to sort of break up the play into something else and uh big guy checked me hard i actually they he tore my acl on the same play and he gave me a concussion and it was it's got wrecked um and then another time i was a kid there was a leak was that before you i hate to interrupt but like what level of competition were you at where your acl was blown out and you were knocked unconscious this was a north carolina b league in in beer hockey yeah so how much time did that gentleman do i actually beat him up later and he acted like it was a faux paw yeah like I like I fucking I I healed back from the ACL and I got maybe like six

games in there's that guy and of course he's like picking on all our smaller players and I'm like motherfucker motherfucker and I took a run at him from like from like mid ice but from your house charging

I drilled him into the boards and then I started hitting him and he's like what the fuck and eventually he goes down you don't usually hit down players that's like kind of when the fight is but I'm like ground and pounding him and he's like the fuck the fuck and I'm like you know what the fuck you did meanwhile like

the other volunteer refs like guys his kids now you'll know what i've done i'm gonna cripple you even though i got my revenge it didn't feel like revenge at all like he did what lost a a fight? It took me months to recover from that ACL. Maybe like a year. It was a big deal. Couldn't you target his knee or his ankle or something and break him? I'm going to be honest. If somebody... Probably not that good.

I don't know. I could swing that stick pretty hard, I bet. No, if you swing a stick, you'll go to jail. Like the assault with a deadly weapon i mean and like look that dude who did that to woody is a douchebag criminal that guy's a criminal like that is not what normal pick if it is a hitting league in a men's league which is already fucking rare like it's all it's meant to be like a shove them off the puck hit not decimate them like you're

like trying to make the islanders or something dude i i know that like my dad used to play softball very competitively they traveled around it was a thing and i know there were fights after the games but nobody got like crippled and during the nobody like came across the field of play with a bat or anything. I can't believe that he knocked you out. Yeah, it was a real big... And by the way, when I say he tore my ACL, I'm not guessing. I went to two orthopedic surgeons and it was surgically repaired for my patella.

It was like, he fucked me up. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. And then the other time... I would be real upset. I was a kid. I was on a tree limb and it was dead. And I wasn't very smart. So kid i was on a tree limb and it was dead and i wasn't very smart so i climbed out on the tree and like hanging on it sort of back down you know just like you would

and uh the way that it broke like it didn't tip me down i just boom i fell flat on my back and my head yeah and uh kind of came to afterwards. Yeah. There's something about, there's some kinds of falls when, when you're completely just let go or you kind of have no attitude control. Like if you kind of, if you jump off of something, you have that sort of to work with and you're oriented with that inertia that

you're, that you're carrying and our brains can work that out. We can orient ourselves in midair, but I'm not a cat, but if you're let go, you need that tail to start gyroscoping to get you up. That's how I broke my other leg.

When I was flying, and it yanked me in the air, like the wing. I was new to launching in high wind like that, and it just yanked me up. And because of that, I didn't have any body control in midair to fix it and land in a better situation so i'm curious about your uh your thing kyle like how when was the last time you had a bad like pass out spell like one where

like you banged your head i had a panic attack um like last last year last year yeah okay so you're on a good streak i have about one a year i have about one a year something like that oh you gotta slip one in it's december it's december 8th kyle you're in your own battle not to miss christmas yeah it's like that seinfeld thing where you hadn't vomited in 10 years. It's June 5th! It's June 5th! I would say about once a year I have a full-blown panic attack

and go unconscious. Most of the time if I can get to cold water and throw it in my face I can stop it. It's like there's literally a timer that starts. And I'm like, uh-oh. Uh-oh, we need the water. He's like a baby sea turtle.

Just trying to get out where the water is. I need it. And if I can throw cold water in my face, it'll immediately arrest the whole situation, and we're good. But a couple times, I've been arrest the whole situation and we're good. A couple times I've been on the way to get the water and went down.

That's what happened the last time. What happened was I got a phone message that I misread and thought that someone I loved had cancer, but it was really someone else's paperwork sent to me foolishly by an old person who doesn't know how text messages work.

And that really upset me. And I go into this panic attack and I'm running to go get the water and I trip over my rowing machine and I wake up with my head hurting and I'm down on the ground in a real awkward kind of way with one arm under me and my legs folded over each other. So when you're getting the water, you're a little compromised on the trip.

I haven't even made it there yet. I'm in the hallway. You wouldn't have tripped over the rowing machine on any other day. Oh, I went down. I tripped over the rowing machine as I was going unconscious. The same way I tripped over that like sunglass

carousel in that Walmart while I was running for water. It was the same thing. I was having a panic attack there and I was like gotta go to the bathroom. I need water. I gotta throw water in my face. We're having a meltdown here. You should probably just sit down because it seems like you're just gaining momentum like running

to the quick run to the granite countertops! Kyle, how did you discover that water was the solution to this problem? Well, I was having a sword fight. It feels very similar to... So I was having a sword fight with my cousin when I was, I don't know, maybe 12. And he stabbed me in the arm with his sword pretty severely. And I had to pull it out.

And when I did, it made sort of this suction noise in my flesh. And that like sent me into what I don't think I knew was a panic attack. Then I thought I was just like fainting from the sight of blood, which was a little embarrassing because i killed deer and stuff it's like why does my blood like freak me out i didn't understand but i was really just having a panic attack over the whole flesh sucking around the thing as i pulled it out of my arm uh and it could feel the bone too it was real nasty and uh but i ran and i threw cold water in my face because and i wanted the water for this but i was so likemy, I threw it in my face as well. And it just fixed the situation immediately. I was immediately like, myself again.

And so anytime I feel one coming on, I just know that that'll... It's like a shock to your system. It sort of reboots that fight or flight thing. It's enough to reboot it. I bet a good slap to the face would probably do it too, but nobody wants to be the psycho doing this'm looking for water uh why did you backhand me yeah right you were about to go down dude dude i'm just sweaty it's hot out i'm looking out for you

who's gonna calm down everybody like like airplane yeah exactly you're racing to it but i'll go uh i'll go full-on unconscious and uh it's it's some real tony soprano it's just like it was represented in the sopranos that's sort of like you know it's coming you feel it coming it's a process it takes about 30 45 seconds to go from the first symptom to we are blacked out, unconscious on the floor. Something like that. Like a timer has begun. That seems so scary. I would not like dealing with that.

What would happen if you did just lay down? If you were like, oh, it's coming. And you just like, let's say you're at home in a situation where there's no embarrassment to be had, right? You're alone. You just lay down on the carpet and be like, yeah, I'm going to do this. Do it this way. It's scary. It's scary and uncomfortable uh it's you know like like um so it's not like sleeping which is kind of fine no it doesn't feel like you're falling asleep it feels like you're being taken

um yeah because your heart's probably racing like you're panicking it feels like your heart's probably racing. You're panicking. It feels like your heart's pounding. You're cold and clammy. I turn pale, very, very pale. I'm sweating profusely, but my skin is cold. And it's a lot like when you get a real severe injury or something like that. I look like that. I just got fucking stabbed or something. But cold water will fix it right away. Or I can kind of suffer through the

next it fixes it so instantly it i i think that's what it is i think it's just rebooting your your flight your fight or flight system and saying hey whoa we're good and if you let it play its course did the whole thing like i'm in this room right now right you could lay on the carpet and you'd be in no physical danger i think how long would it last would you be okay do you come out of it like fine or is it i don't know because i've never um i don't think i've ever gone unconscious in front of people so i'm not sure how long i'm down um i just know i wake up probably real quick well i don't know for sure my guess would be it's fairly quick like under a minute like maybe i'm only actually out 10 seconds or maybe five seconds but for all i know it could be five minutes because like you gotta check the clock next time well it's not like i'm

like yeah instead of water set your set your phone okay stop watch i could i could turn my panic attacks into that movie Flatliners with Kiefer Sutherland. Remember that? I have not seen Flatliners. Oh, Flatliners is great. Here's one. I was young. It's a good movie. It's a good movie.

Kiefer, so was Kiefer Sutherland. That's how you know it's a good movie. I think Andy, what's her name? Andy fucking, she's from Georgia. This movie's older than I am. Leave the movie alone. Not older than me, god damn it! Leave it alone! Not by much, but by a bit.

It's about some medical students who want to play with the idea of... Julia Roberts? They want to play with the idea of... I'm so sorry, but I'm... Go sorry but I'm blown away by this cast Kiefer Sutherland, Julia Roberts Kevin Bacon, William Baldwin Oliver Platt and

Kimberly Scott, I don't know the last two but this is an ensemble cast Oliver Platt's a big actor, you'll know him when you see his picture yeah when I see, I just hovered over, I know that guy he's a good actor very good cast, they're all young, this is the young versions of all of them they're in their prime, they're medical students who want to like see what comes after life is if there is an afterlife and because they have access to like crash carts and adrenaline and all the

stuff that you use they start freezing each other lowering their body temperature down and basically killing each other for brief amounts of time and bringing them back. And, and they start, the first person goes and they claim they see some stuff and the, and, and now it's a question of who gets to go next. And,

and cause everybody wants to go. Right. And someone says, everybody wants to go. They want to see it. And there, and somebody is like, I'll go for 30 seconds.

And everybody looks at him like, are you fucking crazy? crazy and the guy goes i'll stay for a minute and everybody's like no you can't stay for a goddamn minute alex and someone's like i'll stay for 90 seconds and now him and alex are like in a stare down and it's like holy shit like somebody's gonna go and see what's on the other fucking side tonight it's a come back to brain dead to tell you that's a fear too right like like and that's what the movie's about they see i won't it's a bit spooky it is spooky though this is a cool premise i'm glad you brought i want to watch it again kyle tells movies better than movies tell movies well i just focus on the parts that are good right like there's some boring shit in the middle where like you know you got i i want to say

alec uh the balwin brother was like creepy filming ladies that he was banging and like that's what he's visited with in the in the when he like goes to it's like a hell or something like that where he's visited with those women like judging him or something like i think they all see different stuff if i remember correctly i could be conflating two different movies there's there's a lot i don't know i've seen a lot of them but that's a really good movie flatliners i think i misunderstood the i thought they found they think they made a discovery to achieve death that they were doing something outside the norm but you were there's medical students pushing the limits of like what's of morality really because everything they're doing is like illegal um they're doing it like it's just like after hours like we're gonna go into the fucking faculty building where

all the shit i do remember that they'd sneak into the building at night to do this stuff yeah if someone dies they're like all gonna run away you know it's that type of situation seems like a fun fun kind of thriller i'll watch that yeah i liked it have you have you heard of this amazon show tales Tales from the Loop? Yes. I think I've watched some of it. It's a sci-fi show. Is that the one where there's a bit of time travel and the little girl is meeting her older self?

It looks like a poor Russian village or something. I watched it maybe three years ago. I'm a little foggy. I just watched some of it. It's a sci-fi show where you know there's the loop which is some like you know ethereal kind of you know government aligned program where they test dimensional things and whatnot and the the kind of wake of testing things like that creates anomalies that impact the people in that community and it's the the

stories kind of intertie a little bit but it's mostly like you know following like almost vignettes of different people throughout this town yeah and like it has such cool premises like of oh you know this happened and it caused these two people to switch bodies it's not even something that like does like the backwards analysis where they try and make the fake world make sense. It's just an understanding of, yeah, the fallout of the loop creates a lot of strange things. And every episode starts with this incredible potential

and every episode ends just fucking sad. There's never a big, cool sci-fi thing. It's like, oh guy like you know these people they these two friends they found this orb in the woods and it was like clearly some old uh like an anachronism from the loop like that was out in the woods they stopped using this like a metallic orb and they go in it and they come out and they switch bodies and you know the one guy does like it like it throws you for a little loop because the insecure guy who who shows up in like the big confident guy's body you assume it's going to be like oh i don't want to go back to being

the insecure nerd but the guy goes and lives as the confident guy his life fucking blows and the the guy who's now in the nerdy body is like i don't know if i want to switch back man like your life is awesome your parents love you like you have an uncle who runs the loop like i'm a loser i never would have made it and then they go back and the guy who had his body stolen like tried to get back into the orb except there was no one else around so it put his entire being into a robot instead and they just and so now this guy's like whole life is destroyed now he's a robot like in the woods all insecure and the whole like fucking end of it isn't like figuring out how to fix them it's just like that guy's younger brother you know being for like an

episode like you're not my real brother i know you're not him and whatnot yeah and then he goes out finds this robot with like sad robot eyes and he's like dylan is it you and like and then like the robot gets in like a fight with another robot who happens to be living in the woods and and he dies as the robot and there's no there's no comeuppance there's no like finality to it it's just sad every episode you think there's going to be a fulfilling thing and it's just like nope it's just sad and so i would not fully recommend it yeah i would not recommend it yeah i i watched it uh when it came out and uh i kind of felt the same downer way you did that it was kind of depressing and that it was uh more of a dystopian sort of sad sci-fi it was the kind of sad sci-fi

that made you think at the end well we really shouldn't tamper with God's green earth, should we? We shouldn't ask questions of the sky. He'd have given us wings if he wanted us to go to other dimensions, goddammit. We are overreaching. Yeah, and I don't like that kind of sci-fi. I like the other kind

that's more inspirational, even if it's scary. Like Event Horizon, they found out that, yeah, we can travel faster than life than light we can travel the galaxy but we all go to hell we all go to hell and get our eye sockets fucked by demons while we do it you cool with that yeah the event horizon's rough i haven't seen event horizon wait no i have no i haven't seen this it's the Sam Neill and Lawrence Fishburne movie where they go the ship the ship travels by going to hell

they didn't mean for it to go to hell no I've seen this this movie's awesome there's that big orb in the room that has the kind of mystery power poles yeah I watched an interview with somebody who worked on that movie the other day and uh they were discussing the extended scene of like the hell there's like

there's this part where they show some footage of the hell place um and it's all like scratchy and shaky and they try not to show too much but you see some horrific things there's clearly a lot of like bloody rapey crazy eyes gouged out nonsense going on it's got some hellraiser feel to the the like live action effects and like when sam neill gets all gored up and all those those cuts we're going you don't need eyes to see or whatever he said yeah something real awful like that sam neill is great i really like him i love he's good at everything i've seen him there's some show where he like plays a pope and he fucking kills it i don't remember what that is um if you want to see a really good pope show it's called the um the

young pope and they have um that who's the super attractive like the british guy they put him in um um ricky gervais that guy yes gorgeous Ricky Gervais he plays a young sexy pope and it's pretty interesting I wanted to talk I tried to watch a couple of shows this week because I like having shows to bring to you guys

to recommend not just YouTube but you know the fans at large I like to come with some good suggestions some deep cuts if I can but I wanted to see what was going on with the star wars shit on disney i knew there was a show called andor and i knew that i still hadn't watched the obi-wan stuff so i put obi-wan kenobi on this six episode mini thing that they did bringing back the old cast the whole old cast all even hayden christiansen is is there's dark vader do you then i thought i was really gonna like it and for some reason obi-wan kenobi is a

pussy and he's afraid to fight anybody and he's so incompetent he like like what you could beat him up no problem like like like this guy like he got in like one fight that was impressive and it was like two regular guys are like beating the jedi master up and in like a hallway like two regular guys are just beating his ass and then like darth vader shows up and i shit you not he runs like like i don't mean he's like gives him that sort of like stoic like not today vader he like pussies out and like runs And Darth Vader is like, fuck, bitch. And has to chase him down and literally drag him over the coals.

And that's when I stopped watching. I watched three and a half fucking hours of that. And the last thing I saw was when he finally did have to face Darth Vader, he just pussied out and got beat up and like it was embarrassing and then a robot came in and drug him away and darth vader acted like he couldn't walk around the small fire that he himself had created the robot like walked away at the speed of smell like the body of obi-wan kenobi and a team of stormtroopers and obi and darth vader watches

he leaves i guess and there's a fire right in front of him and it's like darth vader could could fly over that fire i think he could definitely like force it out walk through it he's in a special suit he's in his suit anyway he's probably afraid of fire though because he just got all burnt up 10 years ago so i know he's immune but he could fling a stormtrooper over there or he could be like fucking run through the fire or i'll kill you all and they would like it was nonsense that had enough of pussy one kenobi he was such a vagina and they and they paired him with like baby um um instead i thought there might be some luke skywalker interaction no the first three episodes anyway he's hanging out with princess leia and she's a little cunt she's a little 10 year old cunt oh i don't believe you're a jedi master make something fly

and it's like don't you you were just kidnapped and taken across the galaxy i've given up my my entire life to be here i'm risking the galaxy to save you i can't make things fly oh well fuck off then old man and they keep making old jokes you're gonna fuck your brother perv so i thought but i'd heard that okay this is the the like the nonsense disney shit okay okay they they had to make oh and the bad guy is like a big boss black woman of course like like she's the she's what Obi-Wan fears the most. She's like the Inquisitor. More than Darth Vader?

Oh, she's so scary. She's a real boss bitch. You don't even know. What can she do? Is she a... Oh, she's so hard. She threatens men left and right. She'll grab a white guy up by the collar

and be like, next time. She'll get him. But what about powers? Can she summon... Is she powerful is she powerful yeah yeah she's got a lightsaber and she's like an inquisitor she's like an evil sith and like junior inquisitor or some shit but she's like a low grade one and i feel like it's supposed to be racism they're like mad because of the poor planet she's from or something like we know where we found you it's like where who fucking cares she could like make things fly or

something but like she's the boss bad little hand-handed commentary and and we're we're real scared of her i thought darth maul was going to be a central figure in this i can't believe they just immediately hauled out darth vader and made james earl jones come do the voice thank god he retired finally put that shit to rest um and i saw hayden christian doing like my fucking karate with with his mate with his plastic light george lucas lightsaber getting ready for the role and it's like dude you don't need to be fit for this they they could golem you in a heartbeat you're here for headlines they don't they don't need you in that goddamn suit so i thought all right this is the lame shit and or is the gritty hard shit that's what i should watch everybody's

raving about this Andor thing. I think there's even 12 episodes of it, like a whole bunch of it to watch. Four hours of that I watched before I could take no more. I could just take... What happened when you stopped? Who cares about this guy?

I don't care if you... First, I don't care if the guy wins or loses. I don't care about his sister. It sounds like his sister was a whore and she ran off from home or something. I don't care about his sister. It sounds like his sister was a whore, and she ran off from home or something. That's what I'm reading. And all I get from him is,

I want to find my sister. He's like a Jon Snow with no personality, and that's saying something. Because Jon Snow doesn't have much of a personality. This guy is just upset, upset, and worried all the time. And that's it. That's it.

I watched the whole thing. I'm stupid, but I don't even remember the sister part of the storyline. That was this whole motivation. I thought he was making money with the thing he was trying to sell at the beginning. And then the guy had a job opportunity for him. thing he was trying to sell at the beginning and then the guy had a job opportunity for him and right off the bat i he's like questioning uh at a brothel he's like have you seen my sister and they're like where is she from he like tells him the planet that he's from and that's what gets him all the hot water because then he goes and like two guys try to hold him up and he kills them both and i when i saw that when i saw him kill both those guys i was like oh

all right so the good guy just smoked two guys right off the bat, and now he's got to hide the murder, I thought, but it moves so slowly after that, and they're trying to make me care about him or develop his character, I suppose, but they have failed. They have failed miserably, because I dislike him. You didn't get to the last three or four episodes,

the part where it slows down it is you know what i did like there's this like imperial lackey like like this this like junior officer or some shit and uh and he's scottish or something who modified his uniform he's yeah he not him but the guy who his hype man like like there's this one guy who wants to make a big deal out of the murder but he's got no real power and if he didn't have somebody who was enthused about his ideas it probably wouldn't go anywhere but he finds that chubby scottish imperial hype man who's like a sergeant or something like like he's between an officer and a like a regular grunt and he's just like oh you gotta be careful where we're going these scum they gotta be putting their places lads and he's like hyping the crew up

and then he's like and he's like now sir any words for the men and he's like he's taken aback he's like wait oh you work for me that's right i thought you were so authoritative i thought that i okay yeah yeah we're gonna go in there and it's like that guy was cool I could have watched he needs a show but this the the the Lando Calrissian and or cocksucker whoever that the guy with the dark features as they describe him because they don't want to say like Hispanic spaceman I guess like like yes he had dark features what do you mean um um you know dark like which color in particular pick one mauve like fuck off and or i don't the brown space everybody loves and or i don't get it i watched

it i watched the whole thing through i thought i saw it to the end i saw the first 10 episodes and thought it was over because it's like kind of coming to a close. I'll say it as a spoiler. He escapes from a place. So I was like, oh, that's how it is. Oh, does he get away in the end? 10 is a normal episode count. Well, it turns out there's two more episodes after he gets away.

I don't get what the hype is about. If it wasn't Star Wars no one would pay attention I only watched 3 or 4 episodes I only watched 3 or 4 episodes but I didn't care for what I watched

and I was trying I was like I was giving it my full attention I was trying to watch that shit I did appreciate the guests they have like a different guest star in every episode uh the first episode it was the woman who played harry potter's mom in the movies i'm i know she's a she's done more than that she's a really accomplished actress but

that's where i know her from and uh but then they had that again that scottish uh sergeant he was in like the third episode i liked him a lot. But the story just... I didn't care. And they kept having these flashbacks to his childhood where they're like indigenous dart-blowing tribes people. And you know how I feel about those people, Woody. They need to die. They need to wake the

fuck up and get on the same page as the rest of the world, alright? What fucking century is it? It's absurd. I watched it, Joe. Have you seen Wednesday? I know all about Wednesday. Tell me your feelings. I haven't seen it. Don't plan to watch it. I don't

know that it's your cup of tea, but I enjoyed it. So, at first I was like, why isn't this the Addams Family? Why is it Wednesday? Then I realized Wednesday is by far the coolest, most fun member this the Addams Family? Why is it Wednesday? Then I realized Wednesday is by far the coolest, most fun member of the Addams Family. She is. Her power is that she's a psychic.

I didn't remember that from the Wednesday I've seen in the movies or the TV show, but okay. They may have made that up out of whole cloth. She's good at everything. Someone picks on Pugsley from the swim team, and she goes to the swim team, and she's like, I'll get you revenge. And even I'm like, what is this girl going to do to a whole fucking swim team?

I'm not saying swim teams are badass. That's accountants. But how is she going to deal with this? She has two bags of piranha, and she dumps them in the pool. I don't know how many died. The story seemed inconsistent. But she got off for attempted murder. And she's like, how embarrassing people are going to think I failed. And she's a blast.

The lead actress does a fantastic job of playing Wednesday. Every time she's on my screen, I'm kind of enjoying her presence in real life. Yeah, that's all that matters. sure i think so yeah um i'll give it a look and uh she got a goth dude this show will will magnify that so uh she gets kicked out of her school and she goes to nevermore which is this academy for outcasts. There's vampires, werewolves, sirens, which is like a mermaid kind of thing, and some psychics and others here and there.

She's trying to solve this murder mystery. She's good at everything. She joins the fencing team. She's the best there. She's the best fucking beekeeper in the school. She's the best. She fights well. I saw some people complaining about her

her fencing they said something about her slashing with a with a poking weapon or poking with a slashing saber or something um i know the fencing community was very upset about their portrayal not even kidding both of my kids did fencing and uh so like i also caught that i've never been i had fencing in high school but i was never a fencer but uh i was like yeah this is all it's like hollywood sword fighting it's meant to be dramatic and they're spinning around they broke the rules she declares they go two out of three she asked for like military rules where they take off the helmets and fight the first blood. The death? That's military rules.

I think that's Dothraki rules. Yeah. Does she get to lead the Kalasar now? No. Because she's too busy sabotaging swim teams or whatever. But Wednesday's fun. That's how I would describe it. I enjoyed watching it. I don't know if it's going to appeal to you so much.

I think you like... Usually the shows you're excited about are a little more serious than this one. I've never seen The Addams Family in any way. I liked the show a lot as a kid. The movies, I should say. The movies. McDonald's had events around both of those movies

that were real big. I don't know if you remember the Happy Meal situation that McDonald's did for every movie. Oh, yeah. When I was a kid, it was a huge deal. I remember all of those. I remember being excited that the second one was coming out. I liked those movies, and I think my family may have liked them, too. I thought that Christopher Lloyd was hilarious as Uncle Fester.

too um i thought that uh christopher lloyd was hilarious as uncle fester and um that guy who plays um um gomez adams he's also the guy who plays the villain in street fighter the jean-claude van damme version and he hams it up and he plays it as to his the best of his acting ability and he's he's an amazing actor he's very like dramatic and he's wearing this absurd suit and he's only doing it because his kid was a big fan of the video game and he's dying of stomach cancer during the filming it's his last movie it was an excruciating pain through most of it but you can see him like doing fight scenes with jean-claude van damme despite all that to make a movie for his kid as he was you know as he was dying good guy i love that once again how tells movies better than movies do but man the guy that plays gomez adams in wednesday is so ugly every time he's on my screen he is hard to look at gomez adams isn't fat at least

none of the lore that i've seen this guy is fat and they do something to his teeth to like blacken in between each one of them. And of course his skin is a mess. It too ugly, too ugly, hard to look at. Did you guys see the hockey fan? I think I might be breaking up.

No, you, I heard you. I, I, I haven't seen his teeth, but I will look at them and judge them later. The guy who played lurch in the 1990s Addams Family films is still alive.

Seven feet tall, and he's 74 years old. That's unbelievable. He's also the judge in My Cousin Vinny, right? The judge from My Cousin Vinny? Mr. Gambini. Mr. Gambini. No, I don't know. Maybe it is.

If anybody hasn't seen that movie, let us know. It's a good movie, though. I do like that movie. It's got Joe Pesci in it. Perfect. Perfect impression. It's got Joe Pesci and Marissa Tomei. She won a fucking Oscar for that movie. Yeah, and she almost slept with George Costanza.

God, that's a really attractive lady. Still is. She's the mom in the Spider-Man movies, in case you don't know. Another mom together with the aunt. She's dead now, though, in the movies. Spoiler alert. You haven spider-man movies in case you don't know another mom together the aunt she's dead now though in the movies spoiler alert you haven't seen a spider-man i don't know eight or whatever the fuck don't ruin it for me man it's real tearful it's sad to peter watches the guy i shouldn't have interrupted you you said something about no i saw a hockey fan fight and these two guys are going at it in the stands and one of them falls down the steps and hits the back

of his head on like where the glass is, that concrete and cracks his head open. Did you see this? No, I saw the other fight where the guy like banged his own head into the glass and knocked himself out No, that one's funny Okay, this sounds sad then this one

sounds like someone might have have committed murder at the hockey game like they're going at it and this guy falls backwards down i'll call it eight steps might have been five but somewhere in there and hits the back of his head on you know there's that the wall's concrete and then it becomes that glass he hits his back of the head on the on that concrete you could find it pretty easy if you search hockey fan fight head crack open it was the worst hit i've ever seen in a hockey game and it happened in the stands like i don't know if that guy lived or not it it looked like the sort of thing you die from oh this was an nhl game i figured not about this, it would be because of something else. No, this was a Colorado Avalanche-Winnipeg Jets game.

Oh, my God. There's blood all over where he hit his head. You can watch him. This is one of those bless the cameraman moments because he follows the guy as he falls and head cracks open. He's like, well, his head cracked open. He keeps it on the shot. He does a good job.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. And the guy who did the tackling immediately tries to distance himself. Like, I didn't kill anyone, probably. Tries to get away. What do you do? Thank God they were in Winnipeg. Everybody's so polite.

They're like, he does that again. We're going to have an issue. We're going to have a problem here. That's fucked up. Jesus Christ. Does it say in the article if he lived and if he's okay? It does not. I feel like there

should be something saying he's okay. It looked like one of those scenarios you hear about where like, yeah, he just fell wrong and there's so many angles of this fall jesus christ hope the end of the article literally just says hopefully that fan is all right he's not okay andrew author of this he's not okay like this i can tell you that jesus christ poor dude but we don't know what led up well no i mean maybe he's a piece of shit maybe he's the one who instigated a fight and somebody's like defending their wives on or although the man and his wife were arrested so the calgary police disagree that's fucked up jesus christ i also wanted to talk what's up sometimes i make notes

i don't understand what they mean I used to do that on my phone all the time I'd think of something I thought was funny and I was like really baked and I'd look at it the next day and be like I don't know this probably meant something it probably led to something funny but I don't know what the hell it means now oh did you watch that Ogren story video I sent you

I did I watched I sent you the response to it it was like mama don't lie she can't lie man that miss lisa let me talk to her that so what we're talking about what we're referencing here is uh midi sent me this video like as soon as it came out and it's called an ogren story ogren is spelled o-g-r-y-n and ogren is one of those things from warhammer 40k lore he's a slow-witted giant essentially and um and it's him from his point of view telling you a story the story of his life and it's very

much like forrest gump telling a story because he's talking about doing amazing things and traveling the galaxy, but from his limited point of view. It is very sweet and it is very sad. I cried. I was sitting here. I swear to God, there's tears rolling off my... Those are little painted miniatures of them.

There's tears rolling. Find the Ogryn story thumbnail. That'd be better. Search the Ogryn story thumbnail. That'd be better. Just search the Ogryn story on YouTube and show the thumbnail. But I was sitting here listening to that goddamn story, and there were tears rolling off my nose. I'm just like, so fucking sad, man. I had to go blow my nose, come back, and be like,

God, that's the saddest thing I've seen. And then I was scrolling through Reddit today, and I saw it was a thing. Yeah, I know it's the saddest thing I've seen. And then I was scrolling through Reddit today and I saw it was a thing. Yeah, I know it's of his back. It's great. And I saw a thing and it was someone reacting to that. They were like, when I see there's a video called The Ogryn Story

and it's like a happy face and then after I watch it and it's just sad, want to die face. It was it really made me feel a lot is very sweet it's a it's a it's a good world builder like to yeah kind of make you understand like kind of their mental capacity a little bit and how how they as characters in this world think about things so yeah i thought it was it was genuinely like when you said like oh it made me

sad i cried i'm like okay well like kyle like gets pretty emotional with media sometimes like this probably won't make me that sad no genuinely i was unbelievably like sad watching it like oh i'm sad for a made-up race of made-up characters in a made-up story right now like but it was delivered so well like i can't do the the voice but like you're the voice really a fucking idiot that guy that guy the same guy does all the voices on that channel and they're all very good like he's got a really good like i don't know creepy narrator voice or whatever or if he wants to be a monster dragon telling you a story he's good at that yeah but yeah i like the little mother thing where he's like mama told me that someone being bullied it's an ogren's job to stop them and that's true

because mama can't lie and it's like their like infantile understanding of like an authority figure of like yeah that mom oh mom mamas can't lie like that has to be true yeah it was really really good no i from the beginning like the references like speak to me a lot because i like that lore and he's like him she got in a fight with some creed boys when i got there she was down and i was all kicking her well i went to work on them had to hit one of them with another. Oh, that scared them good. And it's like, and like, after that, I didn't have to call her mom or sir. She said I could call her Miss Elise.

Charlie didn't like that. He said, why is that? Don't make it to call you Miss Elise. And I got to call you mom. She said, when you carry me on your shoulders for a mile and start a war you can call me miss elise too it's just like oh man the whole time i'm just like cheering for this retarded giant fucking made up i'm about to get emotional over his goddamn made up ass now it's fucking sweet though i liked it i like it it is it's a very good video it's like eight minutes nine minutes long yeah 942 if memory serves it's uh it's a i like that um like that warhammer lore stuff and it's it's all like that it's all kind of sad and depressing and people living like

i don't know worthless lives and kind of dying for one another because i don't know there's the krieg thing that that that he's referencing, that's a planet that fought a civil war for 500 years. There were loyalists there, and then there were some people who wanted to stick with the emperor, keep worshiping him as a god, and then the other half was like, no way, we're not going to be part of this empire anymore. And the people that were the emperor nuked the whole planet and started a civil war.

And the people that were the emperor nuked the whole planet and started a civil war. And they fought the civil war for 500 years until the ones who wanted to side with the emperor had prevailed. And they send a message back home to Earth. It's been 500 years. They've been written off like they don't exist anymore. And they're like, Krieg reporting for duty. How many divisions would you like? And they're like, what do you mean? How many do you like? And they're like, what do you mean?

How many do you have? And they're like, we have 20 divisions ready to fight for the emperor and die. We would like the most difficult, like, like, we would like the most difficult assignments in the universe. We wish to die for the emperor and bleed for the emperor, to atone for the sins of our fathers and their father's fathers. Our sons will die for the emperor. Their grandsons will die for the emperor. We are the Krieg.

And it's like, oh, shit. For real real we thought y'all had like quit yeah it's like you know negotiate for the position of our guys like no nobody cared they were like all right well i guess we'll send send us like a couple and we'll see what you can do and they just they want to die they want to die to atone for the sins of their ancestors against the emperor and it's uh they're super hardcore a lot because they live on a planet that's all poisoned so and it's nuked yeah and they they just dress up basically imagine world war world war one um like gas mask soldiers that's what they are they're those they can they always wear the gas mask and the hat and, uh, uh, you know,

then touristly fight. They're known to fight with shovels and stuff. And it's funny whenever you see them like painted or illustrated, they're never running from the enemy. They're always attacking no matter what the enemy is. And some of the enemies in Warhammer 40 K, like a human being doesn't really compare like an ant to this thing. Like there are things as big as a building.

There's like animals and monsters like that. they're like demons even that aren't even physical they're just energy beings that want your soul but you look in the but the creed guys are always like ah like running in with a shovel against like a a human being that's basically a bulldozer or something sometimes uh i that that that stuff stuff is always my favorite of the lore. The story about the Krieg or the story about the Siege of Brax or any of that shit. And most of the stuff that this guy does are shorts, like a 10-minute Ogryn video, though. I like that kind of content from this world because there's so much to catch up on. Having it kind of prepackaged in pill form is nice

i heard it described well recently and and i hadn't thought of it this way but it's it's that warhammer 40k is a setting not a story and uh and you should kind of think of it that way and like find little individual tales within that the setting and because if you try to like learn it like you might learn the lord of the rings or any other narrative that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. You get lost and in the weeds. It's silly. It's a cool world. I mentioned getting

a book about it and I had a couple people reach out to me with links and recommendations so I might actually buy a Warhammer lore book and read through it. Just don't get into the miniatures. Don't drag me into that world. Don't drag me into that world. I've talked too much shit about those

miniature people to become one of them, man. Let's do it. Let's become those guys. Dude, no. Think of how much fucking Al-Aid we'll get. Is there Warhammer pussy? There's no way there's Warhammer pussy. it's probably no better than the acid pussy in the warhammer universe yeah no i i i can't get into that that's where i draw the line

uh yeah i'm not interested in the figurines either at all the the figurine kind of set up for a game not that interesting to me it's like that's a huge amount of effort for what i imagine like wouldn't give me any more satisfaction than i had in like physically playing magic like i would enjoy that more look i bet that like if you and your friends were really into it and i was high enough that i i wanted to play pretend that maybe that shit could be fun but the same way that i bet dungeon i i've i've been swayed over the years my opinions on dungeons and dragons which were of course originally shaped by the like 90s religious crazy people

yeah i thought it was demonic everybody did i mean you know what the fuck i'm just like shit's dungeons and dragons sounds like some devil worship to me yeah but uh but but like, now that I know what it is, it does sound kind of interesting. I'll admit, though, when I see people dressing up and shit, like, God damn, let's get a video game character, guys. Like, we don't have to debase ourselves to this level. We can just dress up a character in a video game, and then we can still pretend like we're at least a little cool. I mean, I don't want to.

I can see the dressing up thing. I've been to Renaissancenaissance fairs on multiple occasions and the people all dressed up look like they're having a bunch of fun I've never dressed up because I don't have any outfits to wear that would be on theme but it does look fun renaissance fairs are a good time

you get turkey legs I should show up in a BDSM outfit see if anyone fucks with you right like a ball gag some leather short shorts just get arrested there's so many there's so many children at a rent fair and i every time i've been to one i always see some fucking cunt who's like dressed as a storm trooper and it's like i get it you're dressed up ironically fuck you fuck you for your immersion ruining bullshit you see that guy with his night outfit he worked last night you you're bitching you're fucking around here

like if you're not going to dress up just wear muted clothes so that the people who are dressed up are the ones who pop you're dressed as a stormtrooper at a renaissance fair you dick i don't care that's that that's shitty i've never i've never seen or heard that i've been to two literally saw a stormtrooper last one i went to there was a really good one in atlanta that we went to i went to seven eight years ago or something and i loved it there were so many people there it was so big something there was like a brewery and like doing like um whatever that fucking honey ale is that they drink. Yeah, like mead. Yeah, mead.

They're drinking mead, and they had this... I think Game of Thrones was hot, and they had this dragon theme where they had this big machine where you could pay a certain amount of money, and they would give you an egg, and then they cranked a crank, and it went through a thing, and it cracked open. It was basically a whole rigmarole to play bingo.

The egg would crack open and you got the prize inside. There's $10 eggs and $50 eggs and $100 eggs. I don't know. I toured that whole thing. They had the fire whip guy. The fire whip guy always shout him out. My girlfriend's friends were all wet

over the fire whip guy. Probably probably my girlfriend too everybody was all about i mean i mean he was um because i know this guy had a shaved head he was uh he's you can find him you can find him on youtube right now if you search fire whip guy you'll immediately find him shaved head decent looking fella and he can operate those fire whips he's in really good shape and he dresses period like he's i don't know he dresses like uh a fucking musketeer or some shit yeah time and he can get like he can get the whips cracking and he'll set them on fire and he'll cut cans in half and he puts on a funny show because in the it's not just a dummy out there going and this is my third fire whip trick. He has a whole comedy routine. He's really, really cool.

I'm telling you, he's working a crowd. And look, everybody's dressed up. He doesn't stand out like the one guy. Look at that guy. That guy's a fucking man. That guy is pretty cool.

I like that. And you can see they were throwing knives also. Look at that. That's very medieval. He does all sorts of things. Anyway, fire whip guy was pretty chill. It was a fun show to watch. There was a guy at the one I went to

who was dressed as a jester and he would cram his entire body through the head of a tennis racket. Obviously with no strings in it but he would just like start it on his head and he was like cramming his whole body through it and it was it was like like at multiple times on the way through it yeah obviously no strings but as i was watching there were multiple times where i'm like is he gonna is he gonna get stuck in a tennis racket and of course he'd done that many times.

Very impressive trick. I couldn't get my hand in the tennis racket. How embarrassing would it be to get stuck like Michael Scott? Remember when he put himself in the straitjacket and he's got the key in his mouth? He's like, all right, I'm going to show you all a trick. He actually coughs the key up and Jim takes it. Now he's just... For some reason, he just continues to attempt

to escape a straitjacket for real for a long time but it doesn't pan out that's always looked to me like the most frustrating like i would have a hard time not having a meltdown things like being in a straitjacket and being like hot and like sweaty and like a confined room where you're like maybe you couldn't get enough breath to like just being stuck like that and not being able to get your arms away from your body to like. It'd be awful. Like, I mean, I feel like the sweat. I feel like straight jackets are kind of reserved for like people actively trying to hurt themselves or someone else.

Yeah, you hope so. It'd be a pain in the ass to just like throw everyone in one of those who was just like, yeah, like I i'm just here for my prison dentist appointment like i just like that's all i want they have chairs like that in prison that are like a straight jacket chair we were talking about that earlier right um they have the straight jacket chairs for spitters and the like i remember scott was telling me that he was he was locked my cousin scott was locked up one time and they were like i think he asked him like what's that chair and they're like that's for spitters it's like holy shit because it's got the hood and they put the hood on you and everything yeah well you got to stop them from spitting like what else are you gonna do make them uncomfortable

to the point that they don't want to spit dude why how do you get into that profession i bet everybody who works in a jail or a prison and has to deal with inmates wants out there's no way there's a guy where you're like, hey, dude, how long have you been here? Three and a half years. Would you like to get the fuck out right now and go work anything else that pays the same amount? You're goddamn right.

Nights, weekends, fuck me, whatever. Yes, sir. It's gotta suck so goddamn much. There were some cool prison guards when I was in there, and I say cool as in they were cool with me he looked like a fucking loser but i i know that he was like a failed cop because he told me i bet that's probably more common than you guess maybe but failed cops being in there yeah yeah oh yeah for sure they've got like i i bet when you fail like i don't know the physical exam the god damn you've got to be low bar for that.

Whatever you fail, the psych exam, whatever. I bet they're like, you know, who's got a low bar? And they're like, yeah, the sheriff's department. That's why I'm here. No, no, no, no. I mean, like it fell off and got dirty. Kind of low. Yeah.

Who? The prison. Head down the road. They'll hire you in a heartbeat. How do you feel about being spit upon? I've done that my whole life. That would be... Being a prison guard would fucking suck.

What an awful job. I think they call it douching the guard when they make that concoction of shit and piss that they let ferment for a little while and get gross. They'll shit and piss inside a thing that they can squirt a little while and get gross. They'll shit and piss inside a thing that they can squirt at them or dash on them. Usually, if they're in a weird thing,

they gotta squirt it on them, but in any case, they take urine and shit and mix it together and let it stew for days, stirring it, adding no, I need a little more piss! Oh, nice and sloppy, the way daddy likes it

and i can't imagine that makes you popular in your cell like doing something like that you've got to be like well i can't say anything or he'll fucking put shit in my mouth that that i i the guy i was watching he was like he was like you know they tell you hey we're gonna douche the warden tomorrow and be like ah all right because i know i'm catching a beating too yeah i'd rather get beat than have poo logs shoved in my mouth while i'm sleeping no no he he means like like like no matter he's like whether i know that he's gonna do it or not i'm gonna catch the beating so so he's basically letting me know hey you're getting your ass whipped tomorrow because of some shit i'm gonna do and you just gotta be

like he's like they're coming in and they're gonna whoop both our asses yeah you gotta slick me up with my own shit can you imagine let's be real here let's let's say you're this this this prison guard who's not not getting paid well and everything and one of these motherfuckers throws a bottle of shit piss in your eyes you know you're gonna give him an ass whooping tonight you're gonna go get sterilized and then you're putting your armor on you're putting your armor and your mask on and you're coming back with the hose the pepper spray and a stick because fuck that cocksucker for throwing shit in my ass. And your own fucking thermos of shit. I mean, he's

catching an ass whooping after that. And you have to, right? If you didn't whip his ass, then maybe tomorrow somebody does it again. No, they'd have to. I mean, they really should. The prison guards really should douche him back like fire with fire. It would

get real then because if the guards were throwing poop water in their cell, it'd be like, oh, you don't have anything to clean off with. Okay, well, you think about that for a while while you all get appetized. Well, that's what Homeboy told us, right? He told us that they tied him down and pissed in his face. I would hate that.

Yeah. It was either our guest who was in prison, or it was a prison video that I watched. I watch a lot of that shit, so it all gets yeah they like it was either our guest who was in prison or it was like the prison or it was a prison video that i watched i watched a lot of that shit so it all gets melded together but i definitely heard a guy who was talking about how he'd been like strapped down to the maybe atwood yeah how he'd been no no not him it was a bald guy it was a big bald guy but anyway he was talking about like hey they strapped me down pissed in my face what are you gonna do what are you gonna do take it i

guess i think it was it's the jewel thief it's the jewel thief that's who it is you got it yeah yeah that guy that guy's also the one who was like i wasn't even sure you heard me i think i'm on a delay it's a weird thing yeah it's a little delayed definitely uh he was the one who makes that prison spaghetti still using the prison techniques. He doesn't even use a goddamn pot and a stove. He's got that thing that you plug into an outlet, and it's two pieces of metal separated by a block of wood, and

the wood gets wet, and the current flows between, and it all gets hot as fuck and boils a thing of water, and he's boiling those goddamn noodles, and he's making a sauce by microwaving those little shitty store pepperonis until they're crispy not until they're cooked until they break into flakes when you do when you rub them between your fingers and he's flaking that stuff over the pepperoni and it looks pretty

good oh he's flaking over the the noodles i should say the pasta that's's Larry Atwood or something. Larry Lawton? Maybe. I don't fucking know. Yeah, maybe Larry Lawton. That sounds right. Yeah, I think so. He's the guy we had on the show, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He was the one who I had a hard time having a goddamn conversation with. He was the guy that you were trying to pull his teeth to get him to answer your question. I felt like I don't read comments or anything, but I was like, man, I hope people don't blame me for this guy being a dumbass. Because when I watch his long form videos, somebody has gotten helped him get his thoughts together. And I thought he could carry on a conversation, but I was wrong. And I apologize to anybody who didn't enjoy listening to our conversation with him. I legitimately was sitting here i was thinking like people are gonna blame me for this i bet

people are gonna blame me for this dumb ass talk what is he talking about this boomer doesn't know how to put a phone dude i'm looking at the comments on on that pka right now the the top one well obviously the top one is larry saying thank you guys so much for having me having a great time nice of him the next one is i think his thank you guys so much for having me, having a great time. Nice of him. The next one is, I think his prison sentence was the last sentence that Larry finished. This entire, 600 upvotes on that. This entire episode is like asking what a producer does.

Larry has immunity to Woody's shush ability Kyle Kyle quote yes Larry but how do we rob the Julie's store Myers I'm trying so hard I love it when Kyle gets frustrated felt like like i love it when kyle gets frustrated yeah because like i can feel when like it's not good gonna be good to listen to i'm like i'm like

man if i were listening to this motherfucker i would be ready i'd be like fast forwarding right now and i hate that i want to do a good job i want it to be funny and i want him to answer my fucking question like you're a bank robber so tell me how to rob a fucking bank or jewelry store robber. That's what he'd say. Be like, he'd be like, actually, yeah, I rob jewelry stores. You don't even know what you're talking about. And it's like, dude, you still haven't told me how to rob that fucking store. I could make it up better than you can tell it, dude.

I can make it up better than you can tell it. I could make up how I used to make believe rob jewelry stores and it'd be so much better than your. could make up how i used to make believe rob jewelry stores and it'd be so much better than your god you i think he might have a neurological thing going on or he's just a shit storyteller either way i i apologize for him because when you watch his videos he's got it together it's almost like there's somebody with cue cards behind him no no on track on track i bet there's like a fucking railroad track drawn on the fucking pace for it so he knows to stay on track and he's got little cars for his topics i mean as it went on it went from frustrating to like i was like enjoying watching you get like frustrated with

him so i think a lot of the audience saw that too where it's like i like near like the hour three i was actively like i hope like he just continues to not tell this story. I was getting... Just keep it rolling. He doesn't have any... He's like Jesse Ventura in a way. It reminded me of that interview he did where he thinks he's a tough guy

and that he has enough tough guy credential that he's a tough guy here but he's he doesn't he doesn't like like i'm not saying that i'm tougher than this guy this guy did a bunch of time in prison he was a tough guy one time maybe but he's not now i'm not afraid of you i'm i'm i don't dude get your shit together like like you don't have enough car blanche here to just just run on endlessly and not make your goddamn point and and i think he like threatened one of us at one point and it was like any one of us will you don't have enough carte blanche here to just run on endlessly and not make your goddamn point. And I think he threatened one of us at one point, and it was like, any one of us will whoop your old ass, dude. What are you talking about?

Oh, I think I remember. Yeah, he called me fat, and then I said he was fatter than I was. There he is. You better come at me quick because you're old as shit. Yeah, time's running out. Yeah, time's running out. The last few minutes of that show was fun. Our bout's got an expiration date yeah so you might want to hurry it up um no no nobody's nobody yeah that didn't like that he

was trying to be like tough guy larry or something like that like no dude like like we all get the same amount of microphone time here no no need to put on air just tell the funds tell tell the good story and look i still don't know how to rob a fucking jewelry store to this day no i could never i couldn't rob it at all i would i'd get halfway through and then don't start start thinking about something else because here's what i want to know because i still don't and i know we asked him this and and if he did answer it he didn't answer it well enough for us to know to know to this day because the main thing has always been if you got jewels what do you do with them how do you fence them because i don't know

like if i still don't know if i stole a television i'd go to a pawn shop and get ripped off because i don't have a tv place to take it to if i knew a guy who had an electronic store oh man now i could probably get two-thirds value or something like that i'm gonna get one-tenth or something a pawn shop the same thing's true of these jewels. First of all, they're a huge red flag, right? Because the pawn shop can't move diamonds either. So when you ask somebody like Larry, who's moved diamonds? Yeah, man, how do you move diamonds?

Well, let me tell you about my beard. It used to be a lot thicker. Back in the day, I had a nice thick dago beard what the fuck are you talking about do y'all have a smartphone am i the only one smelling toast Melon toast. Is anyone on the call tasting almonds? He's having a stroke. He's smelling toast. He's burnt toast.

Oh, okay. It's burnt toast. I think you smell grass flipping sometimes, maybe too. It's a few things when your brain's dying. When your brain is actively dying. Yeah, it's a shame. I remember that yeah larry was like amazed when when zach put that picture of the brinks truck up remember where we talked about like a brinks truck and then zach brought the photo

up and he was like oh whoa what's going on here that was he thought you would hack this computer and put a Brinks truck on it whoa you're in my server putting a Brinks truck is that a real Brinks truck of money is that theft next time we have him on we'll be sure he'll come back

you know who I want will he not come back because he doesn't have that long to live or because we talk shit on him? If we have him back, I want to have a real jewel thief on to answer the questions. I want him to fail at answering questions and then someone who can be like, that's really interesting, Larry.

Well, what I did was I went to my Iranian friend. I knew that he had some cousins overseas and look i don't know where that money went but the men wanted diamonds okay that's all i knew and hey maybe we financed terror maybe we didn't we got rich doing it i'll tell you that like i want that that would be enough of an answer i'd be like iran okay i've heard seedy things just make something up if you don't have an answer. Yeah. Always. That's what this podcast is about.

I was going to say, I was just scrolling through Reddit, and there's Finster. Always. We've got to get Fin back on. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. She's always. He. No, she.

No. I refuse. Wait, I'm wrong? No, you're right. Of course. It goes the other way. I refuse to Wait, I'm wrong? No, you're right. Of course. It goes the other way. I refuse to use it. Because you're too hot. I refuse to use this correct gender.

It's not dead naming him. Whatever this is. This is the opposite of dead naming. I'm forcing a gender upon her. Anyway, Finn... The only thing you want to force on her oh jesus finn was uh on reddit for something and it was one of those like the guy she warns you about uh memes and it's him and i'm like like three or thirty five hundred up votes and it's not the first time i see i see him on there all the time used as like often bait right to like mess with somebody to or to do the whole

comparison of like the hottest guy versus the ugliest woman right like maybe compare him comparing him to lizzo or something and doing like a pros cons like those are funny uh but uh but yeah we should we should get finn on but i want finn to dress up as Mrs. Claus. That's a good look for you. Fat suit. No, no, Mrs. Claus. No, like sexy Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus is hot.

She's traditionally heavy, isn't she? Not the way I imagined Finn. No, I pictured her very matronly. I think you might be right. All right, well, Zach, show me a sexy Mrs. Claus. You know what we need? What's that AI thing that you can ask to make something for you? A replicator? I'm talking about the real-life program

that you can be like oil painting. Dolly. Zach says Dolly. Maybe put into Dolly like finster sexy mrs claus and and see what that that creates it's the it's the ai program that creates that creates art that's that's what i'm talking about or images at the very least like you could plug in something like that and it would i've seen some of the stuff it comes up with i thought maybe one of them's paid and like maybe the free one isn't so good because I found a free one and it was just so-so the way it worked.

I've seen examples on Reddit that look like I don't know. They look like real digital art with a very specific theme in mind. They're perfect. They're amazing. I think it's $8 though. It's not unaffordable.

Oh, it's not free?ordable no yeah eight oh oh it's not free well i got eight dollars okay this is this is like that office episode where they're they're um the new york times article is letting them know whether their branch is going to be closed or not but you have to pay two dollars to find to read the rest of the article and Michael's like, damn. Get his wallet out. People are crazy. We're not going to know if we have jobs over $2. You don't seem to be lagging anymore,

Woody, by the way. It seems like it caught up. I have a pro tip out there for people in that situation. have jobs over two dollars um you don't seem to be lagging anymore woody by the way you seem oh seems like it seems like it caught up i have a pro tip out there for people in that situation that kyle just mentioned have you heard of printer friendly do you guys use this no let me look at the website and get a perfect right it's actually print friendly as opposed to printer friendly and uh it gets past almost every paywall i've ever seen every pop-up every time it says hey you're running adblock do you want to turn this off so you can read it i'm like give me the print friendly version yeah and uh um anyway it bypasses all that stuff and makes the internet

better print i'm gonna check it out interesting i always used archive today to just like like if i want to read an article on the athletic about the blues or whatever i don't have an athletic subscription so i just copy the url and then go to archive today and it's like do you want to archive this page and then you archive it and you can read it is that this is a very similar thing yeah okay i used to do that copy the url over but then I installed the Chrome plugin, which is easier. It's just a button I press. I love staying ahead of these fucking bastards with their trying to earn a living.

Listen, people, don't you watch ads or pay for content? I think Chrome is getting like neutered the first year though. Right. So like, I think a lot of people read about that. Yeah. I think a lot of people are going Firefox or something. Chrome is getting neutered the first to next year though, right? I think a lot of people are going Firefox or something. I can't remember which one. I saw a graph on either PC

Master Race or one of those and they were giving you the pros and cons and I believe Firefox was way ahead of everything else as far as ads and other nonsense that you want to avoid. Yep, I might switch soon. The problem is Chrome is an advertising company.

I should say Alphabet is an advertising company. They're not going to give you that internet experience. Yeah. Firefox seems to be the best, and then Chrome is the best, but it's coming back up Firefox. Chrome just always feels convenient, and it just feels like home. I like the Chrome logo.

You know what I'm going to do? Isn't it slow? I'm going to fucking go in the back, and I'm going to make Firefox's logo the Chrome fucking logo. It's super easy to just do that. Probably Firefox does this now, but I use a couple different computers all the time.

Chrome does a real nice job of letting you go from one computer to the next and all your bookmarks are there. It's like having one computer everywhere. What's the complaint about Chrome? Doesn't it take a lot more effort on your computer's behalf than some of the other browsers? I think it's RAM intensive, but I think

the reason everyone's jumping ship than some of the other browsers? I think it's RAM intensive, but I think that the reason everyone's jumping ship is because of the ad block stuff. They're no longer going to do it as well. I didn't read enough into it. I get the headline that, like, hey, Chrome's not going to be as good anymore. Switch to Firefox and that's enough for me, but I think it had to do with ad block and not

blocking as many or not being as effective with their engines. Well, they're going to lose a lot of users because i like yeah but they're gonna you need to make more money probably in the end right sure i i bet they do if they can sell more more impressions yeah i watched uh that graham hancock uh the guy i like like from Joe Rogan, the one who theorizes about the last Ice Age. Is he the Gagaply techie or something? Yeah, he is. He's got the game of Netflix show.

And I haven't listened to any of those. Dude, the Joe Rogan power is strong. It got that guy a Netflix show. He's got a big deal Netflix series. It's like, I don't know four five six episodes there's a lot of archaeologists already just shitting on it this is blasphemy and then it's so funny because right off the bat in his in his show he in his show on netflix he's like talking about how archaeology tries to shut him down left and right, talking about how mainstream archaeology hates us. Every step they try to befoul us.

Or whatever nonsense he says. And he's intersplicing these clips of the Joe Rogan experience and him talking to Joe Rogan in the episode of this show. But it's pretty good. I only watched the first episode. They went to, I don't know, some dirty brown people jungle and there was this

step pyramid thing made out of these sort of hexagonal rocks that are volcanic in nature, but they must have hauled them 500 miles or something. Seemed like a bunch of horse shit to me, but I was thinking that maybe the future episodes might have some more likely ancient civilizations. That seems fun fun and you know what like in the field of archaeology

like if some guy was like yeah i'm a mathematician and everybody's doing it wrong i'd be like obviously you're a goof because all these other people have their their maths in a field like archaeology i'm i'm willing to believe this like this guy's at least right on a thing or two like their archaeologists get real there's so much shit you haven't found you don't know the right timing there was a story that came out a couple weeks ago where like a formerly like debunked roman emperor who was a total myth they found coins with his face on it and they were like okay he was real like okay this guy was a real roman emperor we just found coins with his face on it like it previously thought to be a myth

now like to think we know like anything like every everything i guess i would say like that's crazy of course there's stuff we don't know there's probably really like the idea of those of those civilizations that predate like that is cool you know the ice age they go back to like i like the idea of i don't know people living in giant pyramids with uh infrastructure and technology with like mammoths pulling their sleds and like worrying about saber-toothed tigers and shit like i i like that world that's a cool work there was a i've mentioned it before but there's an awful movie 10 000 bc and that's the whole premise it's like apocalypto but time bad to 10 000 bc yeah if you want to watch a great movie though that mel gibson's apocalypto

is always always just the tip of my tongue when i'm recommending things to people it's a good movie i haven't seen apocalypto like i think i saw it in theaters and then that was the most recent time i've seen it maybe i remember liking it thinking it was really cool yeah it's fun it's really violent okay like it's about like the mayans the incas i get the mayans and the aztecs mixed up but yeah it's about those uh south american brown people and uh and how like yeah the narrative is that these guys are in like a small tribe and they're getting kidnapped and their village is getting ransacked by the people who live in like the big city where they you know sacrifice people to the gods and have those giant pyramids

and everything and so they have to go out into the jungle to the little tribes and grab people for those sacrifices and you see not through not through language, because there's no English. It's all in some ancient dialect. But I don't think there's subtitles. But you kind of just visually learn through the visual storytelling, because Mel Gibson's an amazing director, that this is a failing culture.

There is famine. There's disease. And the reason that they're out here hauling all these people up to be sacrificed is to try to stop it. They're trying to stop the rot that's're out here hauling all these people up to be sacrificed is to try to stop it they're trying to stop the the rot that's consuming them from the within and then you see it at the end that the i'll call him the wizard but you know the the head priest the uh the astronomer um probably a slash astrologer is has been able to predict that the there's going to be

an eclipse and he's like giving the king the nod so that he can pretend like he's the one making the sun disappear. And you can just imagine the power that that would create for your leader. If you showed up because the boss said he was going to block the sun from the sky today, and you were like, bullshit, we'll show up, do it. And he went, and the sun disappeared? Oh, yeah. I mean,

you got to do what that guy says. You got to do what that guy says. Like if you can, like Jesus, what could he do to me? Yeah. Don't say, don't say anything about Jesus.

He hates that. He hates that. He does not care for it one bit. Yeah. The, the Aztecs, like the, like obviously it's like up in the air, but like the amount of people they purporttecs, like, obviously, it's, like, up in the air.

But, like, the amount of people they purportedly sacrificed is, like, insane. Like, thousands of people a year are some of, like, the lower estimates. Like, so many. Human sacrifice, they were, like, it was just another Wednesday. Dang, bless this. Like, they killed. Another Wednesday. they just sacrificed so many people in their

I guess to their gods or whatever I don't I don't know anything about like the Aztec religion like maybe that's why things went so well for them Taylor yeah yeah well but it didn't but you may but you may not know this Woody it didn't work out you may not know this I think

I think Spain pushed their shit in like i think spain showed up and was like oh like you guys are in dark age oh my god that like you know like we've had gunpowder for like a real long time like as text you're like man we should have killed all the adventers yeah we should yeah we shouldn't have killed that guy who came up with that really mysterious shining bulb. Like he could help. Like that was like a poor guy in history. The the Aztec Ben Franklin. Guys, great news.

It just cuts to his head bouncing down stone steps. What's interesting, like the had little steam-powered toys, but they had no concept to industrialize steam power. You know what I mean? There's been a lot of discussion. There's a whole YouTube channel that will go on about it for hours

about could the Romans have been on the verge of an industrial revolution a thousand years before the real one? That's totally realistic. Well, they break down a lot of reasons why the Empire wouldn't have been able to support such a thing. Something about raw materials. If they hadn't

been invaded by Germanic tribes and all of that. Eventually, yeah. What was to stop them from doing it then and there was the question. If they already understand steam power and the power of steam to because they had

these toys and basically like you put water under it and this little thing like walks around and spins and shit and it's like you can do that you make a steam drill to mine with and like any number of like locomotive type inventions yeah you know thousands of years or

8,000 years before we i messing up my empires but didn't the romans like go into europe and maybe have the resources they'd need uh it was less about like access to resources and more about the way their economy was set up i think and uh the like the way things the way that an entrepreneur would not be rewarded for coming up with a new thing. It didn't fit the mold of the empire. It's like, oh, you got a new way of making it? Yeah. Look, everyone does it this way.

They'd have been slow to change or it would have been a difficult change. I remember exactly how he made sense of it. But it took him an hour and a half and he called himself an historian, so I believed him. Oh, trust me. Hour and a half? That's a lot of it but it was took him an hour and a half and he called himself an historian so i believed him oh trust me hour and a half that's a lot of time that's a lot of time a lot of sounds like a motherfucker who can't explain how to rob a jewelry store yeah you're like larry tell us about the jewelry stories like let me say let me tell you something about the incas the human sacrifice that was going on there makes my crimes look mild. What are you talking about?

It's so succinct to the point and full of rich detail, though. It talks about ancient Mesopotamia and their farming and agricultural techniques. It's just a silt, boys. The silt from the Nile River Delta. You've got to understand. You've got 20 million square

hectares being condensed there and when it all dries up it's the richest farmland on this planet the fertile crescent yeah between the tigris and the euphrates the birth you've got me my taylor i crossed the mississippi river. That shit is like dried up. There's a huge beach. It's like 30 feet lower than it's supposed to be. Yeah, we've had like a couple days of sprinkly gloomy shit, but we have not had big rain in a while, which is unusual around here.

Usually we get more. Do you need rain or does it rain in Minnesota or something? And that's where it comes from. Don't the mountains melt and feed it? I don't think rain is the problem. The Mississippi isn't coming from mountains, I don't think. At least in the U.S. It's actually a mystery.

Doesn't it? Is there a waterfall? I don't know if I should believe Taylor. No, it's actually unknown. There's a hole in the sky right below Canada. They kept trying to follow it back to the source, but they get distracted. They get lost.

They get lost. Well, let me guess where the Mississippi comes from, and I'm going to say it's the Great Lakes. I bet that has something to do with it. Yeah, I would guess. So we got to figure out where did the Great Lakes go? Maybe we can solve this. When's the last time either of you saw one of the Great Lakes?

It's been a minute for me. Actually, that's not true. I've been to Detroit. Chicago. Chicago, yeah. That's one of the coldest things I've ever felt was the wind blowing up that fucking lake in Chicago.

I think I was right. It does seem to originate in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Yeah, so maybe once they get more snow and it melts... Is it like a dwarf woman? Does it just spring out of the ground? She's a peer. No, it... Really, though.

I followed it up on Google Maps about Minneapolis. And it goes to the St. Croix Falls Really, though, I followed it up on Google Maps to Minneapolis. It goes to the St. Croix Falls and kind of just starts there, I guess. No, it says that Lake Itasca... No, you're right, Kyle. You're both right. It's from a glacial lake in

Minnesota called Lake Itasca. We need to pump some water in Lake Itasca. It's fine. It's such an ugly river. Mississippi's fine. Just pump some water in Lake Itasca. You know what I bet it is. It's fine. It's such an ugly river. Mississippi's fine. Just pump some water into there. We need to get lower up. If you're low on water, just pump water from the place.

Yeah, just push. I never heard those people in Flint, Michigan say that they don't have water. All I hear them say is they don't like the water they have. So I say, if you don't like it, I hear there's some people in Lake Wanakanka who could use a little water. And maybe we'll take some of that Flint, Michigan water. And look, the way nature works,

it'll filter that dirty water out. It'll clean that water. By the time it gets to Mississippi, it'll be clean. All that Flint filth will have washed out of it. Probably sooner than that. It could be true. I mean, the Mississippi River is disgusting. Lake Titicaca? That's not

a real place. If it melts from glaciers, we could just put more glaciers there. Yeah, but I think that's a big to-do. Easy enough. Ice machine? Dude, have you seen We could steal a glacier from Canada. They couldn't stop us. Oh, can you just... Why don't they hook up to icebergs ever and

haul them in rich guy style and have a good time with them? I would. If I was a billionaire, I'd do shitty stuff like that. Like, oh, you think my private jet's bad for the environment? I'm going to hook up to the biggest iceberg I can fucking find. Drag it across

the planet to Tahiti and we're gonna chip the fucking thing off in our drinks while we while we sit on the beach you know what i would do if i was like a big old billionaire i'd be like all right i'm prepared to put billions towards environmental safety cleaning lakes getting plastic and shit out of the oceans. But we're going to meet out my money and it's going to depend on cumulative US BMI levels. If I'm doing my part to help eliminate this consumption problem, we all have to reduce consumption. So as soon as average BMI gets down to 30, boom, we're saving penguins. Also, I'm playing hardball.

Every day it doesn't get below 30. I'm fucking killing some penguins also i'm playing hardball every day it doesn't get below 30 i'm fucking killing some some penguins also let people know that you're playing for real yeah well i mean i'm just i picked a likable animal like no one would be upset if it's like i'm gonna you you can well you have to take their babies house but you can control them with an iron fist i like that yeah they get real upset when i've seen like people would get upset but think of how many I would be the biggest life saver on earth and I would be the only one

exempt from the BMI thing meanwhile you get bigger and bigger I don't think that calculator works for any of us I've seen where a shitty penguin will fuck up and break their egg or kill their baby or something. And they'll run and kidnap somebody else's baby.

But then they'll fucking get bored of it and they'll abandon it. And the and the original parent can't find him now because, you know, it's not like they left him at the 7-Eleven. They all look the same. Yeah, they all look fucking the same. You know, dude, that joke the other day, I keep going back to it, but what's his name's wife asking the Asian comedian why you don't see many Koreans with Down syndrome? It's one of the funniest things. Every time I think of it, it tickles me.

Because him immediately getting the joke and realizing that there's no coming back from this this is i just gotta take this l like oh it's real funny yeah yeah i know what you're gonna say you're gonna say but you can't tell you can't tell and it's true sometimes you can't and then it's just like yeah it's true sometimes you can't you're just loving poor bobby lee's suffering oh i try not to watch it, but YouTube tells me that I want to. It's not wrong. It's never wrong. You guys want to call it a show?

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