Painkiller Already - PKA 626 W/ Slush: Henry Cavill Fired, Trump NFTs Released, New Tarkov Wipe?

Episode Date: December 17, 2022

painkiller already 626 with our guest tonight slush puppy several uh several sponsors to talk about tonight taylor oh yeah who are wonderful sponsors tonight well we've got lock and load oh weeds oh my god that's minibus one of them is going to make you bust hard and the other two are going to get you fucked up all right you can even get high and then bust and combine all the wonderful products we have available here. Slush puppy. Thank you so much for joining us on our maybe maybe Woody lists episode. Oh, maybe. I don't know what's going on.

We've had enough of his shit. So he's like some of the people that come in and talk to me about the podcast in my stream will be ecstatic they'll be like no no woody's not here to interrupt you yeah he's going for ages now yeah now you can just talk shit for two hours yeah we're gonna do four fucking hours of of uh tarkov um um update uh uh prognostication that's that's all yeah yeah yeah i just need one hour at the end to run through hockey stats. Yes, of course, hockey stats. I was going to wear my Blackfoot

jersey. Not a good year for that. No. It is a really warm jersey, though. It laid in my bathroom for a long time, and I used it for the bath mat in front of your toilet. It's just wonderful. I approve i definitely proved it seems disrespectful yeah the black foots you have

to know they're not even the black that's not even their real name the black the black hawks and it's the chicago hockey team and this was like 2016 that my team the blues was playing chicago in the first round and kyle could not conceivably care any less about hockey. If you dared him, he couldn't. He couldn't. And he did it just like he – and it's like $118 very nice sweat. Oh, more than that.

A couple hundred dollars. It's very nice. It actually does look really nice because they have a good logo. Actually, I don't want to admit that. Zach, remove that in post. It's got a really sick logo. I don't know. Everything about it is pretty high quality. Right off the old Amazon, where all the good stuff comes from. Why does everybody hate rich people now? Because we didn't hate rich people when I was growing up. We aspired to maybe become one.

That was the only girl whenever i hear anything about like jeff bezos it's like oh yeah that villain and it's like dude i don't know i kind of sick dude if you ask me he was a nerd who like improved himself over and over and kept ranking up until he's the one of the richest people in the world and he provides us all with all these wonderful services we'd have before what do you own a mom and pop business no then shut the fuck up this is great what's your problem i remember bill gates being like the best when i was a kid because i've always been a bit of a nerd like i was always like fuck bill gates man that guy's like fucking ruining supermodels and he's like this scrawny fucking nerd or i don't know if he was i assume he was nah he was always a nerd

like the only thing that like what he could think of like about cool stuff he's done was like jumping over a chair once and then we watched it and it's like he's sweeping legs like he's if that were a hurdle competition it would have been called no good like his time wouldn't have counted yeah it was these are weird and that's the coolest thing he's ever done. But he was super loaded. And so everyone was like, man, that fucking weird nerd made it. And so when I was growing up, I was like, fuck it. It's an inspirational story. It's not like people are like, yeah, rich people are nerds.

It's like people are like, we should eat the rich. No, that's what I'm saying. Back then, Bill Gates, it was like, man, that weird nerd made it. I want to be that weird nerd. That proves that anyone can be fucking awesome and rich and i own a lamborghini but now i agree if you own a lamborghini you're a piece of shit i thought that about bam margera when i would watch jackass as a kid like i i mean it kind of lines up so i was like 11 12 when those episodes were coming out and if you watch those like bam's big thing was like number one pranking his parents which

like you see that as a 12 13 year old you're like what is what kind of power dynamic is at play here like and then you'd see him clearly with way more money than his parents just like fucking up his own lamborghinis buying multiple lamborghinis like i remember seeing that and just my mind not being able to comprehend the dynamic of his family and being like, yeah, OK, but he's got a Lamborghini. But his face like he looks like he's, you know, 20. Like, how is this panning out? Weird, like like example, right? Because you've got a guy who became independently wealthy and famous, at least in his little world.

I'm talking pre jackass when he was just a famous skateboarder, making enough money at that that he was independently wealthy, like way more money than his parents had. And then we saw the show there, and I'm sure there's some showmanship going on. It's a reality show. But yeah, the power dynamic was that Bam was the boss. And it seemed like at some point that his mom and dad, if April and his dad ever had an inkling of control over Bam, then that clearly was dissolved at some point. I would like to, if I had one question for those people,

that's what it would be. It'd be like, hey, at what point did you stop being Bam's guardian, boss, parent, overseer, and start being one of his lackeys who will allow him to beat them senseless on camera? Yeah, while you're shitting. When did that happen? He's like one of Mr. Beast's friends. It's like, ah, now you're getting your 50th Tesla.

It's like being one of well it's like they want to mr beast's enemies like to be fair like like like right now he's currently on a ventilator i don't know if you guys are aware uh yeah bam's probably not gonna make it much longer bam what the yeah um you know just the the years of drug and alcohol abuse i would imagine um and i think he's ill like like maybe he got he has pneumonia hey yeah yeah which he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would get vaxxed to me like he seems like an anti-vax kind of guy no or just like he's out of the hospital really yeah yeah they said he was on a ventilator like yesterday so i was like usually when people go on a ventilator that yesterday so i was like usually when people go on a ventilator

that's kind of it yeah usually that's like not not good for it's like a last way to keep you alive i think it's like hard on your lungs i saw him i think it's also partially because if you're going on the ventilator your your lungs have stopped working and that's indicative of like some major cascading failures shit's going down yeah um i saw him on howard stern like in studio probably 10 15 years ago but he had this he was maybe not at his height but he was doing suit he was you know he's on howard stern in the in the there uh in person and he's got like a supermodel girlfriend with him and he's got i can't remember which one of those poor guys with him but it was the one who had like driven away in bam's car and wrecked it his lambo one of his lambos i guess that's all he spent his money on

is like multiple lambos this guy drove off in his car wrecked it and bam had lied and been like i don't know it was me i wrecked the car not because this other guy was getting so much trouble and so insurance doesn't cover now and so he's just out of fucking Lambo. And the guy's sitting there like he's like, yeah, I owe Bam a Lambo. So I do whatever he says now forever. Howard Stern's like, so wait a minute. Yeah, this is exactly that guy right there. That's the dude.

Look at his poor dead eyes. Here's what I want you to look at his fingers. So that's what that's what I was going to talk about. So those rings don't come off. Those rings are like swollen onto his fingers to the point where he couldn't get them off if he wanted to. Like if you said, bam, thousand dollars per ring, he'd be like, fuck off, bro. You know, they don't come off like you can't get them off. Like a locksmith or a fire department you would get because the flesh the skin had like it was it's when you

looked at him it looked dangerous it i don't know how he was keeping his fingers less is more man like that's too many rings that's a lot of fashion statement what's with that all right look i don't know is this in the 90s yeah no no no no this is 2000 2005 my best guess is this is 2005 to 2008 somewhere in there dressing like that's like fucking fallout boy cunts just yeah he's got kind of a grungy like shithead thing going multiple scar wearing fucking emo he looks like a 2022 he looks like 2022 homeless yeah i think he's like he's already at a stage where he's like in his 30s so he's too old to be like that was a like a how many of your grandma's fashion choice how many of your grandma's bandanas do you have dude yeah my dad just rocked up wearing like a fanny pack with like the fucking supreme drip or

something like that it's fucking weird yeah at least a fanny pack with like the fucking supreme drip or something like that it's fucking weird yeah at least a fanny pack is practical though this girl there's super hot and uh and he was always seemingly with a super hot lady doing really well but i don't think so anymore it seems like everybody's abandoned him basically for his own good um so if i could put him on good seemingly like seeing like uh well for his own good and also like i watched that interview i think you directed me too with johnny knoxville where he kind of addressed it a bit and he's he always kind of he's like i think they're all the same age but he always kind of came off as like the crazy one but also the parent a bit and he's like you know we're not gonna let you be a part of this

behaving and being as you are now like and like i watched the bam response to it and it's like fucking sad because it's fucking sad, because it's a guy clearly in the muck and mire, delusional about what's going on in this world. And it's like, if I were Johnny Knoxville, I would do the same thing. I'd be like, dude, we don't want some unreliable guy who's going to show up too fucked up to do the bits, five hours late.

You realize there are people with jobs who rely on this. There are crew. There are things that need to be done. No, we're not going to invite some- Insurance as well. Time bomb. Yeah, insurance. That's a great point.

It's not paid anymore. They're in their 40s, and he's like, man, we just want to film this shit and go home. All of us have fucking kids, and we need to get them to school. This is a fucking pain in the ass. Insuring that shit is ridiculous. I don't know how they do it i know that like i was gonna do um like a self-produced episodic thing one time and we were like doing the i was making up the budget for this like 15 episode thing i was gonna do and it was expensive

it was hundreds of thousands of dollars but then it got down to the insurance and it was like whoa how much all right well then we can't fucking do it. Like, it's full stop. We're all done. Like, like, like, it was like $80,000 a day or something. It was just like, whoa, wait a minute. What the fuck? How about I just take the $80,000 and put it on black?

Like, like, like, like, fuck you. I'm going to give you $80,000, but they won't let me. Now, you know, now they won't let me produce the thing. So it's like, all right, well, how about about i produce it and we pretend like you know i was producing it and then you just buy a finished product from me later on they're like well this conversation we're having right now it's shit what you broke up there for a second 80 000 a day in the insurance like what are you... Surely that would cover, like, like, shooting live ammo at someone.

Oh, yeah. That's a lot of fucking money. Doing a high dive into a pond of AIDS needles. Yeah. It was, you know, it was the sort of... Just the stuff that I do, but except that, you know... There he is! Now you have to be accountable. And, like, you know, if somebody gets hurt,

somebody's got to pay. I have been in a rush for 12 hours now for 12 hours since the moment i opened my eyes i've been hurrying to get 167 miles off road and and checked in and in this hotel i paid 400 hoping for good wi-fi i don't know if it's good yet. We'll see. But I'm here. The internet needs my dick jokes. You know, they don't just tell themselves. And look at this. There's bottles of water behind you. A television on a wall.

That television mount is in a shitty spot, I think. That's too high. It's not ideal. Let's be honest. Not only that. It could be bigger, right? TVs That's too high. It's not ideal. Let's be honest. Not only that, it could be bigger, right? TVs are so goddamn cheap. Fucking tiny. That's like a $100 TV. You know,

like if you went on Amazon right now and tried to beat that TV for $100, I think you could knock it out of the park. For sure. Like a 1080p TV. We're not looking for some fucking response time i don't need hdr come on yeah no that's a real shameful tv you've been rushing all day yeah proud of you for making it thanks uh how is how is the trip been dude my trip is so fucking amazing i'm having such a great time i'm riding my motorcycle off-road in this deep sand i swear i could wiggle and motorcycle off-road in this deep sand i

swear i could wiggle and get almost knee-deep in this sand it's not like any sand i've ever seen before it's not like beach sand where it seems to get hard and and just whatever like four six inches deep this shit is 20 inches deep my motorcycle is crawling through it i was in death valley today i think like there might not have been another soul around for 80 miles you are so alone out here and everything's like a little bit scary like like if anything goes wrong i do have a satellite thing i guess i could call for a helicopter but um do you feel pretty alone it is you don't want to call for a helicopter no of course not i'll just just die, honestly. American prices.

I'd just fucking die. It is the fiscally responsible choice. I don't want to burden my family with this. Take a guess. That's what they do in Canada now. You see that Paralympian who sent something out and was like,

I need some assistance to get up my stairs and take meds. The Canadian healthcare system was like i needed some assistance to get up my stairs and pain meds and the canadian health care system was like how how about this how about you kill yourself the letter said something like they offered me fucking assisted suicide care thing and pain pain pills yeah fuck that doesn't there's no one that checks that before it goes out no canada's fucked canada's fucked like like like i bet canada like looks down their nose at oh yeah canada looks down their nose like like like turn it around canada you were looking shitty up there between

between that guy like taking all your guns away and then at first he's like i'm gonna take your assault weapons away and then all right and your pistols first, he's like, I'm going to take your assault weapons away and your pistols. And now he's like, I'm going to need those hunting rifles, you bitches. He's just getting everything. How did they defend themselves against bears? You look at the statistics on the assisted suicide,

the fucking euthanasia rates that you guys have going on, you guys are turning into an absolute, turning into, you're not there yet but you're turning into a socialist scum hole of the north i can't wait to watch your your fake little society degrade you're gonna be like a robocop movie okay i'm on the other team on this i think assisted suicide is fantastic y'all have following this is how you fall. It's a drain on society. We need to kill more people who would otherwise be drains on society.

Soon, the Eskimos are going to come down south and take over. Kyle, I thought you'd be more pro-Canadianism than this. You know how I hate the savages of North America in this continent. There's nothing I hate more than a Frenchman. Okay?

This is, you know, enemy of my enemy type shit, okay? I would posit that the Americans, you guys have enough freedom that they're going for assisted suicide in a different way. They're just like, oh, they'll sort themselves out. We don't even need to help.

We just let them do whatever the fuck they want they'll just feed them feed them that's what our firearms are for yeah you guys are just you guys have got the assisted suicide it's just the uh the the red version of it i saw a graph the other day of europe it was it was a graph of europe and it was how many guns per person they have pathetic like that's barely half a gun per person they have pathetic. That's barely half a gun per person in most of those countries. That's, that's where you top out at.

Have you seen the UK like posters? Cause like you can't even have like utilitarian knives in the areas. Like all those knives, Woody, that you carry around. Oi, bruv, you're right in the clink.

Like they're going to throw you away. You got a license for that? People can't have a Leatherman. You just go through lives with your fingers and fingernails opening boxes and crawling a tape. Yeah, no, you can't have it. They have signs in the UK and like it'll show like a machete and then like literally Swiss Army inch and a half blade for like opening boxes and it's like they're both

equally illegal and now we're not even in the UK anymore but like they've had so many stabbings from certain groups I would imagine that they really had to crack down on the Irish they really had to crack down on the irish they really had to crack down y'all thought i was gonna go to like what groups it's the

fucking irish it really is they're they're the fucking stabbers you know they're all about it scottish but they only do stabbings the scottish all the fucking northern now let's uh the yeah the irish people bomb people scottish people yeah... Wait, who's a shillelagh? Is that... That's Irish, right? Yeah. A shillelagh, those hammers, those, like, clubs. You know what those are. Is that what a shillelagh is? Yeah, a shillelagh is a club that, like, they would use

to punish people for not drinking enough. Hey! I don't know what... I know you're pregnant! Have another one! Noon on a Monday sober are we look at your wife not a black eye on her face regardless

your choice but those brain cells are dying they come by they notice that your wife doesn't have any bruises something looks amiss. Your wife raised me hand and your wife didn't flinch. Nine children in your mid-30s, what are you, celibate? What an awful group of people. Didn't you find out you were Irish?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mostly English, honestly, like the fancy con but um but but what's the fancy con of english yeah i you know just just from the fancier part of england but but i i found that when you brag about your genetic before i've never been as well i've never been either no it seems like a wet murky place with awful food um there's so many australians like i don't know what it is but young australians just like get up and go i'm gonna go and work in england for like a year on a work visa or something like that yeah i'll do it in my brain i'm just sitting there thinking at what point are you sitting on the beach like having a beer in the sun checking out the hot women here and then like you just click in your brain and go i want to go and live

in a shoebox and just be fucking depressed all the time they want the resume it's so great for like they come back and they're like they're like oh so you went to school in europe oh but they don't they don't go to school they just go there and work in like a fucking restaurant for like fuck all it's. It's so dumb. The ones I know... The ones I know, they went to Europe to either travel or to get a fancier education that would look good. Yeah, but that's like rich cunts.

They go to Cambridge and then they'll just go party in a basement for three years or whatever. But it's not... I don't think my boy's that rich. I don't think my boy's that rich i don't think my boy's rich like that but like um i think it's pretty cheap to travel through europe with the with the with the train systems and everything because they talk about like hitting half a dozen countries and like these aren't wealthy men you know yeah i think if you do it semi-homeless like

vagrant style it's pretty cheap you can stay in hospitals i like to take your own i think you'd even take a step i wouldn't do that there's there's like a pass you can just travel wherever you want like on the train system for like a certain amount of year so it's and it's all trains like you can get across to like the uk and go to france camp in europe though i'm thinking you go from city to city it's populated like i don't know that you can just pop a squat and throw up a tent doubt it we have some places heaps of homeless people do it in la it'd also be easy to like to all of europe because like like all it'd be like coming to america and being like we're gonna hit west virginia we're gonna hit virginia we're gonna hit maryland we're gonna hit delaware we're gonna hit north carolina and then we're gonna we've seen America like that's like

like you just yeah except it's like why smaller you're like yeah let's go to Belgium tomorrow and it's in and they're in fucking Spain and then they just drive there the language situation is so weird like I know it's all historic everyone just speaks English yeah but like the idea that like Spain

right next to fucking France like historically they just like same family of languages, but just totally different languages. And then Italian, right there too, totally different. The US is just such a different scale that we think of. Well, it's even more, it's closer to that. Yeah, all the way north, all the way to the tippity top of Canada to the bottom tip of Texas, pretty much English.

Well, you know. That's not because it has since the 1800s of history, though. Oh, I know, but I'm saying that's not because it has like since the eight eight hundreds of history though oh i know but i'm saying like that's our perspective like it's that old saying of like a hundred years is a long time for an american a hundred miles is a long distance for european like just i just i'm just thinking of guys of like in the uk in particular how like it seems like you can be on this street and have a huge rivalry with the completely different class of people who are a street down the road. Ah, those are Northwest

Jacksonville civilians. Those dirty scoundrels. Don't even wash their arses. You're from East Nottinghamshire. I'm from Southeast Nottinghamshire. Now it's time to stab each other with a football

You gotta get glassed in the face Americans don't even know what that means to get glassed in the face and the stabbings over there I remember I Is that when they hit you with a bottle? That's when they take the whole The answer is yes

I've seen that happen to someone in like a nightclub that was like a common thing in australia when i was younger as uh people just like smashing pint glasses on people's faces and i saw it happen and there's so much fucking blood comes out of your face it's fucked up yeah what's it called when you break a bottle and use that as a knife? You know what that's called. Look, I said it. We've all seen clerks.

All right. I said it and y'all bleeped it. Don't act like you're teasing me. I should have just said it. Post-show, I will write down the time stamp again and make sure that gets taken out. When you said that the first time, I was like, all right, two hours and 11 minutes and 42 seconds.

I thought it was acceptable to say. I was informed that it wasn't. In no way. And now I'm going to have to hear it now. Yeah, just Google it. She says it. Google clerks. What do you call a broken beer bottle?

And I highly recommend you YouTube it so you watch the quick 30-second clip. And I'll move us on to a new topic while you do that. So a new law that I read about today. It's causing a little bit of a discussion. In Indiana, there's this law that says if law enforcement tries to gain access to your vehicle or your home, lawfully, you can gun them down. This is an NRA-backed law. NRA-backed law. And I see it, and whenever I see it on Reddit,

they're putting it on leopards ate my face as if there's conservatives out there. They're saying, oh no, don't let us shoot cops when they break in our house. Once again, you people don't understand how this works. I'm thrilled about this. Obviously, I'm not allowed to have guns, but there's nothing that makes me more upset when I see one of those Reddit posts of some piece of shit cop that just storms into somebody's house and like acts like it's his some some fucking bully with a badge. It's going to be beautiful when these cops who don't who like do a no no knock warrant on the wrong fucking house get some comeuppance because what they're doing is invading somebody's fucking house with guns and when you do that you should get shot yeah i disagree i know this is the felon

on the show speaking he's anti-com i'm thin blue line over here and if a cop busts in your house and starts shooting comply all right comply and you'll be okay. Bear your chest to him, and you can have an easy shot. That's easy to say, though, until you're complying, and then they just fucking strangle you or fucking shoot you. Well, if you can't take a bullet or two,

then you're trying to be an opposite. I saw a statement from the police union or something like that. We hate this. This is, they were like, people are going to see this as a license to kill cops. Someone's going to die over this.

They're going to see a cop coming up to their car and get their gun out. And I'm thinking like, maybe don't try to get in their car. If you're not supposed to, maybe don't try to go in their house. If you're not supposed to, maybe now when you walk the streets with your utility belt, like a fake-ass Batman,

you'll think twice before you storm into somebody's house or somebody's car. You'll be like, knock, knock, excuse me, sir. Oh, you don't want to talk to me? Well, have a nice evening. No, no, no, no, good evening, sir. Like, back the fuck away. You don't know who that is?

That's a citizen over there. You're not Judge Dreadcock, sucker. I can't wait. Exactly. It'll reintroduce some politeness into cops. You always see that in movies. I highly doubt that. You always see the old grandpa in movies

and he opens the door with a shotgun to the police and the police are like, it's like, oh, we're just here to talk to him. He's holding his shotgun and he's just like, get off my property. And you know, in real life, the cops are just gunning that motherfucker down. they'll kill you they'll kill you right there i watched one today um but there's a dispute between neighbors and like an apartment building so

they've got a shared wall um what it is is a noise complaint the old man is tired of the lady next door lady calls the cops and says the old man hit her he didn't they show up the old man is standing in his house in his underwear completely unarmed old, old white guy. And they're like, get on the ground. And he's like, no, she's laying so much noise over there. And they pop, they hit him with a taser. He falls very poorly, permanent brain damage. He's never going to be the same again. I don't know if he can walk anymore. And the cops go in, they're oh no they look for a weapon they find a sword an antique sword in the cupboard somewhere so they get that out and they like prop it up like they made it look like he was going for it so you might think oh well they they got him though yeah he had

the cops had to quit being cops for a while they don't get to be cops anymore brief they go to jail or anything because of the suspended sentence no charges or anything i don't know get the uh the so so unholy punishment of paid leave bro yeah so the worst thing in the world so forget forget cops and robbers if a human being is trying to break into your home at night with flashlights and guns you should probably start defending yourself because they're not going to treat you very well. Whether you're on the right side of this or not, you're,

you might get killed and framed because they do that. They do that. Did you see the one with the ax? Yep. Sure did. Gentleman's in the wooded area, holding an ax, you know, the woods,

like where you might chop some trees down or something. But wait, now the tell the story, right? Because what happened was this guy was in the axe with the in the woods with an axe i'm pro-axe they had called in that he had been threatening people which i guess is true and uh they looked for him they couldn't find him they called it in again this guy's still being an asshole he hasn't hurt anybody but he's threatening he's being a bully

and he has an axe in his hand so the cop comes up he's got his gun trained on him and he says put the axe down and the guy's like now now he's put the axe down he's like i'm not gonna pop headshot done just kills him how close for like 35 feet maybe out of melee range i don't know look you play tarkov slush puppy you know what's up man i'm not worried about getting hatcheted by that dude you ever i have never not even on his fastest day in my slowest man i got well over a thousand maybe two thousand hours in that shit you i'm sure you've got three times as much, but nobody's ever fucking hatcheted my ass, alright?

I have been hatcheted before, but I was really fucking drunk. But I've done some hatchetings. I've done some hatchetings. I love the KS-23 flashbang people and beat them to death. But that's either here or there. The cop murdered that man because he's a pussy. That's what happens time and time again. I can't wait till the

pussies go to prison. He just hides hatchet plans. Wait to the pussies go to prison. Wait till the pussies go to prison. Or do you not go to prison? Slush Puppies, right. The guy's a Tarkov player, and what is it called when they run around naked? Hatchlings.

Hatchlings, yeah. He has a fucking thing against hatchlings. A dude's got a graphics card up his ass. Fuck this guy. I'm going to kill you in the woods. Yeah, this makes perfect sense. I like it. To clarify the hatchet situation.

Face just took down a hatchet runner. Was this guy doing anything with his hatchet practical, or was he just kind of a wandering axeman? I think that he had recently been threatening people and he was in the woods kind of by his lonesome, but it was a handheld hatchet, not something you chop trees down with. Yeah.

It was just. Okay. Well, you do have to call the cops when there's a man wandering around, not chopping wood with a hatchet. Like there's. So I'm with you. The problem is the cop was like,

put it down. The guy's like, hold on a hold on a minute boom headshot like he went from the the guy had one warning he was well outside of me they he was way too quick to murder yeah cops are like the cop but it happened a while ago it was in the spring and it's like december as we record this and uh the cop got a couple weeks paid vacation he's back He's back on the beat now. I'll give you another video game reference, right? When I'm playing Tarkov, as a scav, for example, there are noncombatants on the field of battle that I'm not supposed to shoot when I'm playing as a scav.

However, I'm so twitchy, sometimes I shoot them accidentally. I don't mind this, though, because the penalty for killing a noncombatant is so low. It's there. I go, ah, shucks. My friends might even rag me about it. But we're going to go right back into another raid in a little while with no problems whatsoever. That's what being a cop's like. That's what being a cop's like.

They're going to raz you at the station for shooting that old fella. They're going to hold up a picture of your dead grandpa's body and they're going to be like, look at that. He didn't even hit the tin ring. That's what they're going to do. The cop should have confirmed our theory that he's a Tarkov player that hates hatchlings by teabagging. He obviously shot him in the face

and then screamed, see you in the lobby, faggot. I'm on a... Damn, I'm watching this video right now. This dude with the axe is so far away. Yeah, it's a good shot, right? You're impressed. Maybe it was a shit shot. Maybe it was I'm into like...

That was a warning shot. I think the important thing was to get this marksman back on the streets. Yeah. He could be executing rowdy customers at the grocery store in no time. You know, we need to send him over to fucking Ukraine, bro. He's a fucking monster. Kyle Rittenhouse. John Wick.

Get that guy a badge. Get Kyle Rittenhouse. Yeah. Oh, God. Kyle Rittenhouse had the guy a badge get Kyle Rittenhouse oh god Kyle Rittenhouse had the best tweet the other day it was something like Dems never want to face up to consequences or something like that it was something like that

in that same vein and again people on the left all of a sudden when somebody hits him with a zinger, like, and all of a sudden it's gone over their head and they're acting like he's just a crazy person. They're like, look, look, can you believe he said that? And they're like, it's like, yeah, he's being ironic in a funny way. He's capable of that, despite everything else you might believe about him. No, he's not. I can't tell if I'm a thin-skinned, stupid liberal.

Because when I saw it, I was like, does he know what he's doing, or does he just believe this? Oh, for sure. That is a well-crafted zinger that he tweeted out there that's meant to make his friends chuckle, his side chuckle, and it's meant to make the other side sizzle. And it was perfectly crafted so well, so he probably didn't even come up with it or type it out himself i should i don't but he's not a villain anyway look what you got

in kyle rittenhouse we've said many times it a marksman as far as i can tell and a kid who did something stupid and went to straight shoot and then had to defend himself that whole situation just so fucking dumb it's like yeah he yeah, he was defending himself, but it's like... No, he was defending used cars. Yeah, but why the fuck was he there? Can't the police do this? Like, in what kind of fucking society where this dude picks up a gun and goes, I'm needed?

Like, surely they can... In the greatest society on Earth. Can't the three of us... Well, the three of us are Americans, so we know. Y'all all know that, look, the community needed Kyle Rittenhouse that night. We all know that's true because the police weren't doing their jobs. That's what I'm saying. Where the fuck were they?

I thought the police were the master marksmen, although fucking impotent. Where are we going with this? It's never a happy media. those when we date it when those riots were happening like that they would usually like pull the police out and just write the city off and let the city burn um there's lots of our lots of american cities got burned to the ground um during like a couple years ago like how many was it during During all the riots, like summer of... Come on, Woody, I can show you aerial photographs.

They burnt down the lot. Would you say the city was burned to the ground and blocks were gone? So Raleigh, North Carolina as a city is more than four gas stations, two dollar stores, and a church's chicken. But there's a lot of places that aren't. If you burn down two gas stations, the church's chicken but there's a lot of place that aren't places that aren't if you burn down two gas stations the church's chicken the the liquor store and the

fucking dollar store the town was burned down last night that's it what's left the red lights and the fucking laundromat i'm like still standing what is kyle talking about but i see you're saying they took out like a lavonia by just taking out Zaxby's. It was like, that was the same time that in Seattle, like all those like Antifa people did like the, we have an autonomous zone where this is not the United States. This is sovereign.

Whatever the, you know, what the rate numbers are. What was that called? Their autonomous zone where like they like made barriers and then people like started getting people started getting like raped and murdered in there and they're like still no cops it's like all right well yeah i know it's like that i would have you remember those those pictures where all those retards were like this is our autonomous area and there was like the brand of retard who

was like wearing their fucking ski masks or whatever with guns and then there were the and their you know communist sweaters then there were the other ones who were like we're here for the commune we're gonna grow beets in the middle of this park that we've seized from the government and no one's doing anything about it i guess and they like remember they put cardboard down over the grass and then put dirt on the cardboard and then tried to plant stuff in the dirt on the cardboard, and everybody was just roasting them online. Just like, what are you? Like, you're growing number one. Like, what were they growing?

They were growing, like, spinach, kale. The whole thing's insane. Like, not substantive things. Even if you're going to grow crops, you don't go, we got a new civilization here in the middle of Seattle. We need low-calorie greens, people. This whole thing is insane too because if any of those people actually

wanted to do what they're trying to do up there and didn't actually just want like a drug rape zone that was convenient, they'd go to a rural state where property is incredibly cheap and they'd make sure it had water

and then they'd have their community. Then they'd have a drug rape zone there. They could do their drugging and raping out in the middle of the joint sales. I'm worried about these cell problem solvers. These guys. They only want to solve the problem if they have attention, though,

because their parents neglected them, so they're like fucking turds about it yeah i mean we're solving the problem everyone's looking at us they can't have a they're kind of a farm by themselves and enjoy it because they don't enjoy like growing shit and stuff like that they just want to be fuckheads yeah i want to go somewhere where i can wear my shea guavara hat and my Supreme shirt in peace. Yeah, yeah. Do you think that, like, do you think you could enjoy that kind of existence? That sort of simple, like, farm life existence?

Like, the kind where you're, like, growing your own food and stuff? No, Woody? I can't deal with my videos buffering. That alone is enough to get me out of the fucking coffee. Have you ever tried, in the last last 20 years have you tried to eat without something on it's brutal I'd rather kill myself

I've been watching porn in 120p I mean this is ridiculous I can't live like this much longer have you ever jerked off to a puppet show your own puppet show that crack in the ceiling looks somewhat like a tit hell yeah let's yeah every time i get close this porn goes off the rails i can't i can't beat off with my imagination i just uh i close my eyes

and then it's just fucking demons then i'm like yeah, then I'm just scared. I lose my erection immediately. Sounds like Drifter. Yeah. Then I'm just, then I'm not masturbating. I'm just having a panic attack in bed. You're just too scared to come. Yeah.

Every time you try to talk, you see Robitussin demons. Yeah. I saw that, I saw a thing about Stephen King that I can't remember which book it is he wrote, but he doesn't remember writing it. It's like one of the big ones.

Cujo. Yeah, it is Cujo. He doesn't remember writing Cujo because he was on this bender and they listed the things. He was on the substances. And it started off normal. It was like alcohol and, I don't know, maybe prescription painkillers and then some Xanax.

And then it was like Robitussin, NyQuil like two or three other mouthwash and mouthwash apparently he was going through like a couple bottles of it a day or something i don't know he was like robo tripping while he wrote gujo it sounds like mouthwash though like that's just alcohol gets you drunk right yeah i think or no it'd probably make you very sick because they put they would put stuff in there like usually products that have alcohol in it that would get you drunk, like ethanol, they put shit in there, too, so that if you drink it, it makes you feel sick.

Back then, though, maybe not. Doing some, like, chemical shit. Yeah. Oh, that might be... Anti-freeze kind of stuff. You might be too current, though. That's a good point. Like, drinking mouthwash was a thing that...

Wasn't that written in, like, the 80s? Drinking mouthwash was a thing that, like, kids and alcoholics did when I was young. Ah. So I guess you just buy a big old jug of listerine and i i don't know i think it's like one of the very few ways you know you're buying alcohol without an id what's weird is that stephen king a grown-ass man who if he was writing kujo then he'd already written carry so he's already a rich man i mean not a wealthy he's got'd already written Carrie. So he's already a rich man, not a wealthy man. He's got enough money to not be drinking now. He's got liquor money.

Yeah. He's got bottom shelf vodka money. Yeah, you're right. At that point, that's a choice. Yeah, he's like, I just want to be a starving honest. Nothing hits like Listerine Cool, Mitt. Maybe he's isolated himself like that guy in Misery. You go in a cabin and start writing yeah and all you have

like the the early 80s though like he could have just gone and got dodd pills and just like got fucked up he was on all that would have been cheaper yeah he was definitely on all that stuff like i always say like he was on sleep pills cocaine uppers downers sideways probably lewds i only know about those dude i hear such good things about quaaludes don't you want one i didn't really notice until they explained it to me i don't think you can get them anymore because the uh the active ingredient in them goes off apparently i looked into this and uh yeah they haven't produced them in so long and the active ingredient goes off so you can't get them anymore you had to keep I can't remember who it was, but there's a story that they told. It's a comedian or somebody, but they had some Quaaludes

that had been in a freezer for like a decade or something. And then, like, isn't it Wolf of Wall Street where Jordan Belfort does the Quaaludes? Yeah, yeah. And then that's when he's like crawling into his car and like drooling and stuff. It's ridiculous. Yeah, I wouldn't want to do

that, but... I just did ketamine. Yeah. He knows all about ketamine. I'm a ketamine expert. Well, hobbyist. Don't put me down, Taylor. This is my shining moment.

I'm the guy who has the drunk experience on the show yeah no I've never done ketamine Kyle's never done ketamine I guess you guys are the experts ketamine's dope that's sick but I mean Woody was using it and like journaling introspecting

you know thinking about things were you doing that when you were doing ketamine slush? no no I was just rolling around on the ground just like tickling my might and then we were just laughing our heads off it wasn't very introspective at all

rolling on the ground tickling me might yeah we were just fucked if you were more introspective you'd realize you were gay yeah no no we just brain damaged slugs rolling on the ground tickling and laughing with your friend on ketamine that's what you do when like maslow's hierarchy of needs everything

is hit other than the pinnacle of of friendship and camaraderie really it just showed that you're really well i think we had ricky rick and morty on and uh and we'd like we're like yeah let's watch the new season of rick and morty and then my mate's like you know even better let's like put a mattress on the floor here and there's like there's like five of us and we all like we had like a bunch of mattresses on the floor so we're laying down to like watch rick and morty and it was after one of my friend's funerals so we're like really fucked up and uh and then he's like you know what to make this even better let's all just do like fat lines of ketamine and then just like fucking watch rick and morty and be completely fucked and so yeah we were just yeah brain damage

slugs okay slush that would make this even better Like if we tickled each other with our shirts off. Oh, no. It was just fucking weird, man. Because we were just fucking hot shit. Nothing gay about it. Just kind of a tickler. Yeah, it'd be even crazier if you'd jerk me off. No, I was kidding.

I was kidding. It's just that we're all sick. It's just that we're all sick. It's just that we're all sick. Hey, man. You can feel good. nothing gay about getting high on cat and then fucking watching uh freaking morty with your bikes i gotta deepen my k-hole and i wish that your beard was pressed against my tummy right now see see i know i know i know for a fact woody that you're not a uh a long-term drug user because when you when you uh use drugs a lot you start working out these uh dumb systems that in your

mind make sense while you're high so like you when i was when i was really into doing uh doing lots of uh speed and smoking a heap of weed we'd uh we'd order like multiple pizzas and it was like a specific system so you'd order like at at like 6 p.m you'd order like five pizzas for like three people and you put two of the pizzas in the oven and leave them in there at 100 degrees and then at like 2 a.m when you start taking speed and you realize that you're super fucking hungry you can smell the pizzas coming from the uh from the kitchen and you're like that's right we have fucking pizzas like i left those for myself before and then you go get them so that's like that's the level of drug use you get to when you you have like this i like setups past slush is like leaving gifts for

future slush to smell and discover and that's good because it also shows that there were probably dozens of times where you did it before you learned this pizza trick and there was like a blind panic at 1am of like where's the food like but like a new stoner comes to the group and he'll bring like knowledge from previous like stoner antics like we have one guy he came and he was like hey man we should like we fill up the like the water in the bong with ice and it makes it uh makes it a bit cooler it's a bit lighter and we're like yeah yeah okay so then we took that on that was that that was then part of it and then you you start doing that shit where you hire like we one of my friends was into making

leather wallets and uh so he made a little gun holster for our bong because it had a picture of ned kelly on it so he made a gun holster for it and then we got one of those little butane gun lighters and so the bong always had a lighter on it because it was always strapped because i had a holster with a gun so you never lose the lighter it was like this took us fucking weeks to work out like an oral tradition of drug abuse yeah where you learn from your elders and someday you'll pass this down to someone else yeah none of it's written down yeah it's also just like campfire singing bro just pass it on like like the iliad pro magnets along the way when you're repeating it to your friends but after what he did i had never in my life thought like oh yeah

i should do ketamine like it just had never been on my, it's never been a drug. I've given any thought to. And then when Woody did it, I'm like, fuck man. Like maybe I should order ketamine on the internet from this doctor. Woody's buying it from.

Wait a minute. Until this loophole is closed. Is this legal in your state to get ketamine? Cause I know it's not legal to get it here yeah you can do exactly what you describe you order ketamine off the goddamn internet they sent it to your house in 2022 that's what would he did in 2019 is it enough is it enough ketamine to produce like a dissociative state like yes so i'll lay it out there that this isn't sponsored but the company is mind bloom and i was a little like down at the time and i guess like these you take ketamine sort of once a week and it's a way to think things through and maybe just even chemically sort of readjust and bring a little joy. All right, cool.

So the first time you take it, like you give them your weight, your age, your whatever, and they take a guess and they're kind of trying to come in like low but good. And I forget the numbers, so don't get hung up on them. But I think the first time I did it, I took like 450 and I was like, you know, it worked and it was nice. But, you know, when you're drinking, how you can be drunk and sort of act in a fool and then your parents come and now you're acting sober. I was like, I felt like I could have done that. I want to be at a place where there's no denying the highway. I want to be in a place where I'm stuck drunk, where my parents come,

I'm just fucked. Yeah. And, uh, they're like, we got you. So they change it from like four 50 to 800. And, uh,

and with that, yeah, man, you're, you're high. And you're, you're, it is like a bobsled ride where once you start this,

once you've done it, you got to get to the bottom, bro. There's no other way. There's no other way down. You need to continue on with this path that you started. You can't just eject out the side. No way back scenarios, whether they're literal or not. I like them because they simplify things so much and and you're now allowed to focus fully on getting to point b like like that the I you know going down a hill is a perfect scenario like like we used to slide down hills and all sorts of unworthy craft and and vehicles that we would make ourselves and it was always like all right once we like kick off here like there's no stopping we got to ride this out we would i had this bicycle that had been turned into a chopper so it was like super long

unwieldy thing i took that down my dad's hill you know that that hill you might what he's seen it it was awful it was awful i wrote i tumbled and tumbled you did set it on fire it'd been yeah fucking glenn beck put me on blast for it well glenn beck glenn beck has that was funny yeah that was like irresponsible gun owner of the week or something really yeah that's hilarious. Fuck that guy. Yeah, we were filming something, and we set the field on fire. Or Woody did, I suppose, technically.

And then we kind of ran around comically putting it out, because how else do you put out 15 tiny fires in a field? Yeah. But comically. Yeah. You put, like, every fire is trying to grow so you can't just take the fire and bring it down to zero then move to the next one because then the other ones grow too much so you kind of just take that 100 fire knock it down to like 15 we'll deal with you later because we got a couple of the hundreds still raging it was just crippling fires everywhere

yeah that's fun that i mean like i don't know how many times i've done that growing up like Yeah, you're just crippling fires everywhere. Yeah. That's fun. I mean, I don't know how many times I've done that growing up, like goofing around and set the yard or the field or something on fire and having to very quickly put the fire out. Whenever I see like some TikTok cunt make a fire on her stove and then act like she's never been, I't know done anything before it's the same level of incompetence as when you see somebody get into a little bit of trouble in a car and then hit the accelerator instead of the gas and like all the way through a fucking building or something and i i

always wondered how that happened and then i figured it out on my own last night those people drive with both fucking feet those people drive with both fucking feet right right on the gas a bunch of walt juniors out there so you see it all the any times you see any time you see that that video where some ass was in a parking lot and it's seemingly like we're we're at a low speed and then they just zoom and take off out of nowhere like through a storefront or like over another car and they end up upside down in a parking lot. That's what it is. They panicked and tried to slam on the brakes and they're driving with both goddamn feet.

So they fucked up. Wasn't that like a really quick lesson when you were like when like your dad or mom or whoever took you out to drive? It was like you use your right foot for both things. And that seemed intuitive anyway. Having both your feet over there wouldn't I always get in the back of uh taxis or like ubers and the uh the council are always driving with both feet and because they're like riding the brake and it's like you're like it backwards and forwards makes me feel sick i remember giving this one kind of serve i was just like can you like you just drive with one fucking foot man like you're making me feel real sick like we got like an hour

to go in this taxi drive and i'm gonna fucking spill in the back of your hand in a minute it's a long fucking way to the airport bro i wouldn't ride with somebody who drove with both feet i wouldn't i wouldn't i wouldn't feel safe but it's like i'm trying to i don't know if you saw that your pilot was up there and he was putting on his fucking like vomit bag and he had a diaper he's like yeah he's putting on his fucking like vomit bag. He's like, yeah, he's putting a diaper on because he gets IBS when he flies because he's so scared of it. And he's like his trainee. Dude, I don't think you're set up for this.

I don't think you know what you're doing. Like you drive with both feet. You're not a good driver. You're not a driver yet. You're an amateur who hasn't. You shouldn't have a driver's license. You should be able to get a driver's license driving like that. I don't remember like when I learned to drive. I remember when I was four, I got one of those jeeps the battery

powered little jeep oh yeah you know those things were awesome and uh and then i think i had a three-wheeler by the time i was like six seven something like that something with a motor on it and you know an accelerator but i don't know i've never considered the experience they've ever had was uh driving like go-karts at the fair where you have to have like your brake with the left foot. Yeah. Yeah. That's their only experience.

And then they just end up getting a license somehow. And then they're just like, yep, here we go. Is that how go-karts work? Yeah, because usually the steering column like splits your legs. So you have to, there's only, there's like, you can't do one leg. Yeah. I have, those go-karts in uh and in denver that was a blast i would do that again we did it again like like this last trip um uh i can't remember i think we all like took turns being best at it so it was nobody had to feel bad

we did like we we we raced until i quit we raced until i was starting to like get a headache from it maybe seven races or something like that um because they did it by the time i remember when we went they were like all right you're paid for the hour or the hour and a half or whatever and so it's like you want to take a break before your next run there's no one else here and it's like what did no you're not going to trick me into buying chicken fingers right now in the middle of my hour like let's keep it an hour in a go-kart like uh non-stop is a is a long fucking time it's actually tiring as embarrassing as that sounds it is no it really is it's a like an endurance race every every race when we get done we were all just shaking our hands out because you're constantly yeah you're constantly jerking two guys off really hard

that's the best part of go-karting is all the gas in the like supercars and shit like that you have the seats that sort of come up like underneath your ribs as well and if you're hitting like really fast turns and you haven't got enough padding in there you get out and it feels like you may punch in the kidneys. The seat's just digging into you. We had a couple of pretty solid wrecks. You could feel that you got shaken up

a little bit, but that just makes it more fun. They slow you down electronically if they see you being an asshole. They're like, oh, how about a lap of 50% power? And I was like, oh oh i'm just gonna block everybody now oh guess who's about to piss all over your bathroom i just turned my car sideways and blocked the way that was a problem like have i told you guys about like go kick at my family

and go karting before no yeah so like my entire family raced go karts like supercarts so we were like really into it like the like the state titles and like australian titles oh you did yeah yeah yeah and we so we went we have this thing like every now and then we'll go and do like go-kart racing so we've gone like a family holiday and my dad will be like there's a fucking go-kart track down there we're gonna go race see who's the best because it's just this long-standing thing that like my dad reckons he's the best fucking driver out of all of us and so do both of my brothers and so do i so we have this like thing and just recently we went to one down here and we got sent out and

so it's like me my two brothers my brother-in-law and my fucking dad and my sister on the track and we're all competitive as fuck and then this random woman and dad and my sister on the track and we're all competitive as fuck and then this random woman and a daughter get put on the track with us and i'm like this is gonna end very poorly and so they don't know yeah and so the helmets are on so you can't quite tell who's who i mean you sort of can but we start off as everyone comes out of the pits at the same fucking time and we're all like over the top of this hump and then like around onto the main straight and we're all just fucking flat nut and my dad in his infinite wisdom because he's the dirtiest fucking racer of all time

just pit maneuvers who he thinks is me but he's actually this like 45 year old woman and he just fucking sends up like she she ate shit like she pulled off the track i was like giving my dad a serve she's like what the fuck are you doing and he's like i'm so sorry i thought you're my son you are a fuckhead i'm not racing with. Yeah, that's her prerogative. I mean, if you can't run with the big dog, stay on the floor. Yeah, that's right. Get the fuck out of the way. Yeah, that's what I said.

I was like, yeah. Actually, you kind of feel like that sometimes. That's my brother. My older brother was like, shouldn't have blocked the racing line then, you fat bitch. Yeah, and honestly, like, if your father mistook her for you yeah that's bad bitch you know the tallest woman in australia i'll tell you like but it must mean that slush is a shitty driver

oh i'm a fucking great i run an australian i don't know your father who ended up winning this most recent uh grand prix uh well with the slower go-karts it's always the one who is the lightest at the time because they're like they're very weight dependent because they don't have much power and so at that time slow but uh like anything under kilometers per hour over a hundred like under 100 kilometers an hour the go-kart 60 that's six like 60 it's like 60 miles an hour. Damn. That's fucking fast. Well the ones that I used to race were like

The ones that I used to race were supercarts so they're like proper ones like with a fair amount of power. So how fast? They definitely go over 100. Yeah but like 150? Like 110?

I don't know. So you're probably They'd definitely go over 100. Yeah, but like 150? Like 110? I don't know. So you're probably hitting like 70, 80 miles an hour. Whatever those carts do at Unser. They do zero to 60 in three seconds. Top speed at 155 miles an hour. Jesus Christ. They go.

Yeah, they fucking go. Life and death go you're talking about life and death racing indoor go-kart racing oh yeah no you're stoned yeah no this is what this is what i'm saying is the indoor go-kart racing that's but because that always ends up on like weight base because they're so they're not powerful enough so all of my family when we race we usually just fucking run each other off the track because we're cunts but last time my brother my twin brother won because he'd been on a bit on a bit of diet at the time so he was like he's like yeah i'm feeling pretty svelte like i'm a bit trim and and all of everyone in my family is on the larger side and uh so he he beat us all because he was like 10 15 kilos lighter than the rest of us but But next time, I'll just go on a diet beforehand,

and then I'll try and win. Or just weight his car down. Good motivation. Or just run him off the fucking track and kill him. That's why it is. Team building event at Woody Craft, and the order of finishing, we went go-kart racing. The lightest person got first, and the heaviest person got last.

I was dead even with this 16 year old who was lighter than me didn't even have a driver's license like that's how important the weight difference was like i was parallel with a guy who never drove yeah man 155 miles an hour in a go-kart that is so fast you should have led with how intense and fast i didn't know they made the that should be illegal they must be twitchy as fuck right like the steer oh fuck yeah they have well they have You should have led with how intense and fast. I didn't know they made the... That should be illegal. They must be twitchy as fuck, right? Like the steering? Oh, fuck yeah.

Well, they have locked differentials because they just have like a locked axle. So they slide like fuck and just like moving the steering wheel just like that. Like you go around a corner and it's like that. Like, it can be quite terrifying. More dangerous than guns. Anybody die in those? I believe people people have but i've never seen i never saw anyone die myself i saw a couple of

flips like my brother flipped his and uh it landed on top of him and broke his collarbone and his arm uh so one guy uh he came off and he got run over by another cart and they had to wheel him off because he fractured a vertebrae in his neck but he ended up fine yeah it's pretty it's pretty fucking barrel I'd like to try it that sounds like go-karting is so much fun because it's like

a ton of things this is one of those things where like when you take go-karting to it's max you've already surpassed auto racing at its minimum, and that's a problem. It's like, whoa, your go-kart costs $87,000, dude. We can get you a real race car for $20,000.

And the real race car is safer. The thing is, the go-karts are more closely related to, like, open wheelers. So, like, they're more of like a stepping stone to like open wheeler racing like f1 and stuff so like a lot of the people that end up racing f1 race like uh that's where nascar guys start out too like when i was in high school i had a friend in high school that was his aspiration to to do nascar and um they had started in go-kart racing early at 12-year-old.

And every couple of years, it's like baseball or any other sport, they give you some more CCs, right? It's like, oh, you're in the 15-year-old range? You're going 75 miles an hour. Oh, you're 17? You're basically in a rocket ship right now. I remember them talking about it. That's what we were like.

They would bore out their engines, the uh for those go-karts and they would only be good for one race they'd blow the engine out in one race like not destroy it but like that engine's done it's race it's good because it's a two-stroke they they run them like they run them super hot because the more you lean it out the faster it goes and so the the idea of like if you want to win that race and and to to push it to its limit you want it running as hot as it can without seizing pretty much and so you're you're just sort of while you're racing you've got like you can tune the jets on the carb on the carb so you can change it so you can continue to lean it out and the hotter it gets the more you're leaning it out as the race goes along so you can change it so you can continue to lean it out and the hotter it gets

the more you're leaning it out as the race goes along so you start like rich in your opening laps and then bring it up to temperature and then start leaning it out and then every lap when you hit the straight you'll adjust it to get it that perfect level uh of where you want that air fuel ratio you just are you listening uh used to listen and then they changed it so like you'd have like sensors and shit on it uh which is when the sport started getting like expensive and shit like that yeah of course right got sensors for like air fuel ratio and stuff like that so my dad had a friend who was really into it and then he was like like into his 50s he was like super into go-kart racing and we travel around and do it and he was driving back from one of the races one night in the back of his truck he had a bunch of his gear he had um a big

can of racing fuel he had like a battery and some terminals and stuff and he was coming up to a red light and he was gonna run it because it was late at night and he saw there was a cop coming up behind him and the cop would have seen if he ran ran the red light so he has to slam on the brakes right at that light and the fuel and the battery and everything slides forward in the truck. It's a metal can of racing fuel. And so when the battery hits that and shorts out, it all explodes in the back of this truck. Now the back of the truck is on fire, like a big racing fuel fire.

And the cop is right next to her. So he gets out to put the fire out, but he doesn't put the car in park. So the truck's rolling through the intersection on fire while he's beating the fire with his coat. And the cop the whole time is rolling beside him, watching like awestruck. Like, is there a more serious crime taking place?

That they're trying to keep me off the center? I like to think at the same time his daughter's doing a TikTok video with a kitchen fire, like having no idea what to do with it. It's the next generation of idiocy. Did you see Donald Trump's cards? I thought you were going to say that that was going to come through

the back and get his head off. I'm so glad that didn't turn into the final destination. Now that poor gentleman had a heart attack around 55 years old. Real nice guy. He was a real gun nut.

I got a bunker. For Kyle to be like, this guy was a real gun nut. He had guns for arms. um all he had like three subjects he would discuss diesel mechanic uh work because that's what he did he made a really good hourly wage and he took all that money that he made being a diesel mechanic and he put that into guns and go carts those were his other two passions there was was nothing but guns and go-karts and diesels.

And so he just, he was, I don't know, maybe he was on the spectrum. We just thought he was a little off, but he'd just kind of show up and just awkwardly just walk up to, like he'd pull up to the house and like now he's here. Like there wasn't a big introduction. He just to the house and like like now he's here like there wasn't a big

introduction he just kind of came and like walked up and just joined the crowd of us standing there and i don't mean like like the three of us maybe that they were there like working or doing or whatever in our yard and just be like out of nowhere anywhere 15 from neveski i tell you what that it the way they're coating them parts 100 000 rounds for you before you need a a new action it's just incredible stuff that's so johnny yeah yeah yeah it's just like like he always had machine guns behind the seat of his car it was always like you want to see my new mp5 it was always something cool like that always cool shit and uh when you call this house like a country dude yeah he was when you called his house um he a country dude, he was, when you called his house,

he always want to be in the military, but for some reason they wouldn't take him. He called his house, his answering machine back when those existed said something like, I'm like, this is John. You, you missed me. I'm probably out tending to the booby traps and checking the perimeter.

I'll leave a message message i'll report back shortly and it was like not even a joke and it was like i don't know if this is a joke or not but it is funny yeah and i know that i will not go sneaking around john's place because there may or may not be booby traps and if those don't get me john's checking the perimeter you can imagine like this guy's son or something just getting a letter one day just saying he's after you like and these guys it digs up his grave and it's full of grenades that's just like how tim and i had a story going for it he was the only guy i ever knew that hunted with like an ar-15 i always we always hunted with bolt action rifles you know i mean i as a magazine in it i've got extra rounds i can reload well he spent all that money on it he wants to use it no he was he was out to kill he wasn't hunting

he like like when he's going hunting he's just driving up to the field there they are and he's getting out and he's hunting the other that's hilarious when i go hunting i like put on my you know i like put on a whole thing and like i use special soap and i climb up my goddamn tree and i wait for hours he just drives around till he sees him gets out hey motherfuckers this guy you know and that's awesome he's just doing it the lazy way yeah efficient way that's the coolest way to hunt i've ever heard deer hunting that's how we that's how we hunt in australia it blows my mind when people talk about deer hunting in uh america and they're like i've got this i got this whistle i'll put down grain and i'm gonna fucking fart this way

and then the deers are gonna come and i that always blows my mind because like when we hunt in australia we just roll up with a fucking light to shoot kangaroos in the face like you just you just drive straight up you can probably just run them over if you i mean it would be hard to skin something you ran over but you can oh you so good we when i was in texas um the guys that i was with we were out to kill things we're looking for pigs but we had enough licensing and firearms that anything that moved we would and we're going that anything that moved, we would, and we're going to shoot at like, like we're going to shoot deer.

Couldn't, she couldn't shoot those. And obviously like, but any other like game species, we're good to go. And, and I mean like we're in an F three 50, we're wearing night vision.

We have machine guns with infrared lasers on them. And we're shooting out the windows in a neighborhood, like a nice one, like, like million dollar houses and shit. We just shooting shit and legally 100 legally like we we have so much paperwork there and um those guys uh we're driving along and i i can't remember if it was a coyote or a fox i think it was a coyote like ran across the road a good ways in front of us i went get him and the guy went all right and he

just turned off into the field and started chasing the coyote through we don't know whose field this is we were just on the road what a burger is a mile back like we're not we're in town we're going through the field now in this this big fucking truck and it's banging and jumping around he's driving i'm in the shotgun seat and i i take my seat belt and like jerk it so it locks and i wrap it around my arm and i go all the way out the window and i'm outside the car now just with the seat belt wrapped around this elbow keeping me from falling out so i can lean against it and i'm and the coyote the coyote is zigzagging the guy's trying to run it down the guy's trying to hit it but we keep doing this thing where like obviously a truck isn't as nimble as a coyote so if it takes

a quick turn we've kind of got got to get straightened out to get behind him again and so hilarious it was the most fun i'd ever had did you get him hey i don't remember it didn't matter we killed so much get away i don't i think he got away if i'm being honest i think he did there was um fucking awesome do you catch an animal if you had a motorcycle the passenger had a baseball bat you gotta get out and grab it they get out and grab it that's what you don't just smack them dude i sent you that video that time there was this bad motherfucker um i can't i think it was an atv maybe or it might have been a dirt bike anyway he rides up to like a steer and then goes after it and bulldogs it down to the ground

and takes it out it was so fucking hardcore like that'd be the way to do it baseball bat i feel like most animals are so tough dude like they'd be like what'd you hit me with yeah we are bitch made compared to a lot of animals. I could kill a kangaroo with a baseball bat. A kangaroo is not effective enough, so you gotta wrestle it. It's bigger than that. It depends on the size of the kangaroo. Yeah, we're great at that. Grappling is so effective against animals.

These hands are a whole other thing that they're not used to. They're all about poking and clawing, and we're just like, ah, what are you gonna do now? Especially cattle and stuff, obviously, because they don't have teeth or claws, and they're under wheelie and they don't do well on my back and they're like kicks you in hyper extension yeah you kind of completely backwards and you're walking like a fucking amy i mean you could it would i mean it would you could kill a cow with the bat but it would be a cruel take so long you would beat the cow with a bat, but it would be a cruel... I'll take so long.

You would beat the cow with the bat until the bat splintered, and then you'd have to stab it through the eyes. You're right. It skulls too thick. You'd just put it through torture. Don't beat cows to death with a bat, everyone. They're so thick, when you'd kill them, you'd put the pistol in their ear just to make sure.

I'm reminiscing my days with Henrietta with a machete. Yeah. I punched a cow in the head one time, like up on the big curly flat part of its head. It was like a situation where I was trying to get it to move, and it's like, we're selling cattle, and they're all bunched up together in like a catch thing,

and it's like, me mother, pop. It it hurts so much it was like hitting a hairy rock it was like a hairy rock like i swear to god i'm not exaggerating it didn't give it didn't budge the only reason that the skin didn't come off was the fur like it and the cow when i say it didn't notice, it was unaware that I had done anything. It had no idea. It didn't even flick its tail at me. It didn't give a fuck. It's completely ambivalent. They're so fucking big.

You've got to go for the hamstrings like those cattle dogs do. We live like such pussies. Kyle's going to nip at it. We live like such pussies compared to our fucking ancestors. Like, the people who took down big animals with, like, addle addles back in the ancient times. Yeah. Sabertooth tigers. Those are scary. Were we even alive at the same time as sabertooth tigers?

Yeah. Smilodon. Yes. Yes, we were yeah that they think that so i was taught growing up that all the megafauna died because of the change in climate but now i think that i think a lot of that megafauna the giant animals died because um of us that we hunted them to extinction extinction animals faunauna? Yeah. Flora. Floral. That's what I'm mixing up. Thank you. Yeah, no problem.

There was this one animal, this gigantic armadillo that used to live. And they think that we hunted those in particular to extinction because we were living in their shells. That's how big they were. We would kill these. Their shells were big enough to live in.

That doesn't make like like i saw the um the bones of a 600 000 year old woolly mammoth that's cool oh in person yeah i went to a little i was in town there was a little museum and i was like i can't not walk in the museum like what is in the shoshone california museum i have to see it. I had just seen the Bonnie and Clyde car and got super into it. I was watching Bonnie and Clyde movies last night. I saw The Highwaymen with Kevin Costner. I'm reading the Bonnie and Clyde Wikipedia.

Getting all into Bonnie. I'm like a Bonnie and Clyde aficionado now. Because I saw the fucking shot up. Back on... I'll go to the old man for a second. Bonnie and Clyde, the car. After they really murdered. They set up an ambush.

Because they knew they were going to this guy's house. One of the people in their gang. They would go from house to house to house. And take advantage in this circular route. Where cops wouldn't cross jurisdictions so they were always right next to sort of a state line and they would just go across these couple of states knowing they could dart to the other state to safety basically freedom if they were about to get caught well anyway they were going to their gang members house and they told that guy's

father that they would let him go if he cooperated they would let his son get out of this situation let him off as far as texas was concerned for two murders and the dad's like all right that's a good deal so his kid gets away and they were going to meet up at that kid's house the kid's father's house and dad's there he's got his car in the road and when bonnie and clyde pull up they're gonna help him because they know it like yeah this is our friend's dad he's on the side of the road maybe he needs help and the police come out and they ambush the fuck out of them and they shot hundreds of rounds into this car now uh all kinds of guns machine guns 30 off six hunting rifles shotguns pistols etc how many six and uh the six police just sort of ambushed this car each of the six cops had like three guns

and they were all just mag dumping into this car um it's american tradition so uh it's american tradition so uh bonnie and clyde they get shot the fuck up and there is like brain matter and tissue and stuff all over the inside of this car and the police were supposed to get this big ransom 26 000 which was a lot in like the 1930s and uh no one came there with a ransom they didn't get anything so what they got was like 200 each and they could take all the souvenirs they wanted from the car and stuff someone tried to take the car but the owner was like hey this is my car so they got it and then the car starts doing tours they would let like people for a dollar sit in the car where bonnie and clyde died and like there's still like tissue and shit like on like if you didn't clean it yeah no it was like legit it's clean now but you can get

get up next to it and see all the bullet holes and it's kind of weird like two people died in this car shot up and they were murderers they killed like a dozen people like they were solid they would kill police and they just got too close and they killed murderers they killed like a dozen people like they were solid they would kill police and they just got too close and they killed civilians too so it wasn't like yeah they were bad guys yeah like the the frank abagnale like that myth is you know he never stole from anyone but big corporations it's all bullshit but uh these guys they killed regular people and they killed cops if they just got near them so you're not really rooting for him anymore but they were sexy and they fucked a lot and

in the 1930s that like made them cool yeah like there was um i forget there was a pretty boy floyd like he was a guy a handsome gangster or something like that there was some other one and and and then these guys face nelson 20 years old both of them were sexy as fuck they were going from town to town just fucking each other everywhere they could killing cops robbing banks doing whatever and how do people know they were fucking where they were just like yeah we're just gonna fuck in front of these people like are they just uh well they were sleeping in the same place together and they were in love and you know so yeah so all these people are like oh they're definitely in their fucking yes yeah that's

part of the fame they were like these two definitely fucking bang and uh and these two gangsters man and a woman 20 21 years old banging going from town to town robbing banks people loved it they were super popular for a while tides changed and went against them when they started killing the wrong people. But suddenly, I'm into it. You can see the shirt that Clyde wore. They have it in Prim, Nevada in this casino. In Prim?

Yeah. Does that mean something to you? It's a real place. It's a fallout New Vegas. You go to Prim and fall out of New Vegas. It's a major town. I was in Prim last night. So yeah, you can see the shirt with all the bullet holes.

I don't know if the shots in the back, were they exit wounds or did they get shot in the back too? I'm not sure. But the police ambushed and just took them down. So after that Bonnie and Clyde sort of success like man, visiting random shit on the side of the road is kind of cool i wasn't into it and then it was you and i think you and taylor were like man

i want to see the biggest ball of twine like that's the thing i'm really into i'm like well i should stop and see more things yeah so today i saw a september thousand year old woolly mammoth and uh yeah the guy's talking to me too much he ran the little museum but i was checking it out i saw the coyote and anyway i'm just it's more than just off-roading i'm seeing stupid things good no that's part of america i was watching one of those uh one of those things about our ancestors and and they were talking about um how we competed with the neanderthal neanderthals and uh how they suggested that they were big and how we competed with the Neanderthals. And they suggested that they were big and powerful enough to kind of take on a lot of those giant animals on their own. Like just three or four of them would just jump up Rhino and just beat its ass with clubs and spears.

And if it hit them, they could take it. They were just that big and strong. But there were more of us and we were more cooperative. but there were more of us and we were more cooperative and uh we also because they were so big and bulky they didn't make the tech tree leap to range to weaponry that's a big leap yeah yeah so we went to addle addles gotta invest that full hundred go into the bride right gotta get those addle addles and those slings up the feudal yeah uh and then because obviously we wanted to take on game at a range what's the addle addle you mentioned it a few times today how does it

addles are cool so it's um it's a spear throwing device and the spear is kind of part of it it's a it's a mechanism but there's this handle that um you hold in the back it's got a bit sort of a notch that holds the the spear the spear will have a corresponding notch and uh you're able to flick it and literally throw a spear it's not exactly a spear it's more of a a bolt or or or a javelin type thing but twice as far as a man can throw him with his arm yeah i get it yeah yeah so i can throw a ball so fast but if i I have a lacrosse stick or something, I can do better. I've seen people use them. A perfect hunting weapon would be back in those days,

would just be one of those little fucking things that you throw the dog the tennis ball with. Put rocks in it and just start pegging it and shit. I mean, that's our ancestors. That was step one, right? Throwing rocks and sticks. That would be enough to fuck up a pheasant every now and then

or knock a rabbit down. I bet if your life depended on it... You could skin a turkey or something with a rock. Not a turkey. If it's slow and you're lucky. No. Not a turkey in particular, but rabbits. Throw them a height.

I'd end know killing my uh killing my cave wife or something i'd throw a rock and just hit her in the back of the fucking head or some shit yeah what are they gonna do put you in jail animals there's a lot of animals that their first defense mechanism is to freeze and try to not move and be like does he see me does he see me and that works just fine as long as you don't have something to throw at him. You know? But all the things that do that would have gotten fucked up by our ancestors that figured out

rocks and sticks. Yeah. And then, like, after the Adel Adel, like, the bow and arrow must have been like, oh, Jesus! Like, everyone's blown away. Yeah, it's interesting. The spear was the best melee weapon for all time until then the gun happened.

They started out with the... The Andertals started out, and they're like, oh, spear, this is it. And we never really got any better than a spear. I think that when they look at the medieval combat, even the height of 14th, 15th, 16th century... Oh, we lost you, Kyle. we lost you after 16th century and i want to know because i'm curious about this about what the facts are one two three you're good yes 16th century

interesting why isn't he talking we hear you oh he doesn't hear us fuck we hear you we hear you well i know you hear me but i can't hear you okay we don't need hear me you don't need to hear me to tell your story tell you guys i'm gonna i'm gonna make up the rest of his story i love this yes please here okay from the inception of weaponry up until the 14, 15, 16th century was seen as the penultimate weapon is what Kyle would say incorrectly

the spear was you there? yeah tell us about how the spear was the best weapon from stone age until the 16th century until the gun spear was the best weapon from Stone Age until the 16th century. The gun. Until the gun.

Until the gun, it was the best weapon. Because nothing beat the spear. Not even a bow and arrow? I'm talking about melee weapons. Bow and arrow beats all the melee weapons. Fuck you! Oh, does it hurt? Oh, it's hard to catch me now, isn't it?

I really like 30 evolution of armor like uh if you watch what like what people wore like because you had like no armor and then everyone started using swords because swords were like yeah this is the dope thing like we can now make dope swords and then they're like yeah okay let's wear like plate armor this will work and then they're like oh well swords aren't really good against that so let's start using different shit and then they're like oh we use chain mail and then they invented the crossbow and then they're like okay none of this armor is fucking useful at all so let's just not wear armor and then it it just like went from went from wearing like

fucking heaps of shit to just wearing nothing and then now we're like oh no now we have armor i think in like the like like those like 14 1500s pictures stuff like like war hammers and like malls were more popular because you couldn't just punch through the plate mail so they would just like hit you with a fucking hammer with a spike on the end and like cave your chest cavity in my my my guess would be that like what we're talking about is the the richest of the rich the knights and the and the and and the like the badasses on the battlefield i if you if you took like a 14 15 16th century battle battlefield and you took a census out there of all the bodies i bet most of them got poked

with a spear and then right below that, they got hit in the head with a stick and then right below that, they got ran over by a horse and all the way at the bottom was those 18 knights who got hit with war hammers.

Well, I mean, that makes sense though because it's not like every dude was walking around with plate armor that was like a status thing so like most of them were walking around in jerkins just getting fucked up by arrows that were you know like bodkin arrows that are sharper that depends on the time and like how much money the army had though because like they say like ajin core like in the 1600s when england invaded france like they talked about having like thousands of armored like fucking men and like the french had fuck loads and they're on horseback and then they got fucked up because the british were like we've got heaps of longbows but

they didn't have shit loads of money so they were like yeah we just use fuck loads of longbows so oh yeah and that's the britons were very good with archery. What was the famous battle where England's invading France, their king is invading France, and they have the big battle where they go to France. Tours, right? They go to France into coming through the muddy fields. That's Agincourt, that is. That's the battle of Agincourt, yeah.

That's the one that's the subject of that movie on Netflix. I think it's just called The King. The King, yeah. Yeah, they get a little creative with the subject of that movie on Netflix. I think it's just called The King. The King, yeah. Yeah. They get a little creative with the history, but not too far. It's not like it's William Wallace out there all of a sudden. Nah. There's a few things that just didn't happen,

but apparently how muddy and sticky that field was, the quagmire of death it created was pretty cool. Yeah. But yeah, they basically goaded the French into charging across a really muddy field into archer fire coming from three directions i think um uh robert the bruce did that as well to the uh to the king of england uh at some stage during the scottish independence they like the battle that sort of turned the tide was essentially they had some kind of bog or like

mire and then they goaded them into coming down this like specific road where it was like on either side and then they had like fucking heaps of uh heaps of those like dug into the ground spears i didn't see that movie yeah they did they did the thing where they're like oh no no no oh no no this isn't in brave this isn't in braveheart this is uh good all right well they don't need mel to sign off on it for me robert the bruce was like the guy after he he like sort of unified england after william wallace died but sorry unified scotland after william wallace died but they had like this movie and he also has a movie on netflix but and they have uh chris pine play him and he hangs dong yeah he does he does hang i'm gonna be honest i really i don't like chris pine i don't know why i just watched

that motherfucker and i'm just like you are so boring it's called like a bandit king or something like that it is yeah lucky yeah yeah it came on is awesome i'm still a fan i don't know why i'm a star trek movies star trek is so good oh no actually i do like him in uh star trek but everything else he just fucking blows like he's just like he plays no emotion uh he has any emotion you're describing a guy who hangs dong and blows i want to see this movie. I thought it was pretty good. It was okay.

Robert DeBruce is the one who... I'm not going to write a letter to my dad and tell him about it. He's not that fucking good. That's true. Now, Netflix does that a lot. They have a lot of like, eh, it's okay. You know what their problem is? It's almost a movie. Netflix flicks their content at you

like it's a thursday upload from your eighth favorite youtube it's it's like dude how about some gravitas when you throw something up on the site there's no like oh it's just like splat here's what we did today there's eight more behind it it's like dude you just dropped the chris pratt movie and like i have to i have to go to reddit to know that you did it like like you just dropped a 200 million dollar movie on your platform in fact actually that was amazon that did that but uh amazon actually did advertise to me but there was something else that netflix uh dropped it was like that and i was like i had no idea they made it and it wasn't any good either did you watch wednesday yet kyle wednesday that's not that's

not gonna be for me you know there's a like empowered woman as the star of that and oh god i'm too sexist to enjoy that i i get enough of that in the real world i didn't really catch woke vibes from it but oh i'm not but there's a girl in it yeah she needs to cover her face I'm not really sure what the I'm starting to get down with the burka I see the advantages I do too keep you cool no sunscreen

the whole internet is like is the internet trying to fuck her or does the internet want to be her and then is she a kid because wednesday is a kid or is she not a kid because uh the actor's over 18 and then everyone on tiktok's just like fucking jizzing over it it's a very it's confusing i i should say that i know absolutely nothing about the show or its reception um i had no idea that it was popular

or not popular um i do think well it's super popular people are fucking loving it is literally the most popular thing netflix has ever made so far in the history of netflix shock yeah well good really i i love this yeah it beat out stranger things huh do they like release them i guess you get all these streaming sites you just have to take their word for it you just take their word for it and they only release good news. They never release something and say, what a flop. No, they say, hey, we got a new record. Yeah. Well, I mean, the

proof's in the pudding, right? Everybody's like, oh, why doesn't Netflix ever allow a show to flop? Because nobody watched. Fucking get the word out. Were you tweeting about it on season one, episode four? Because that's when they needed you, god damn it. Your fucking favorite show is the WNBAba that's why no one's watching it it was your job who's your favorite team the fucking phoenix mercury you fucking liar get out of here yeah you know what else i remember jim's fucking brother's names tug and pete never forget

you know how you can remember is what do you tug? You're Peter. I have a different way. This is how Taylor got good grades. So I'll never forget. This is how I memorize. So here's how I remember. Just turn everything into

a dick joke. You're Tug and Peter. Got it. So Tug. For me, it was easy to remember because tug is just such a weird name i don't know any tug mcgraw is the only other like person i've ever heard that has that name and i'm not exactly sure who he is maybe a country player from the phillies in the 80s and he had no idea who or what he was i thought he was a country musician but i know his name right i thought it was like maybe the name of Sylvester Stallone's character in a

shitty 80s movie. Tug McGraw. What was his name? I went to summer school with his daughter. Stallone? Tug McGraw's. Damn it! I was going to say.

I guarantee. Was his name Paul McGraw? i bet what's the picture of sylvester stallone's hot daughter google that just in case he's got three and like one of them's not so great isn't he like 80 almost dude he doesn't look human anymore he's got his daughters are like in their midst you got that weird face going on He's got crazy eyebrows now, like a vampire Stallone does? I thought he looked great

Great in what? The Samaritan? That movie he just dropped? That's about a superhero? No, I see him working on it The Los Malones kids? Yes! The eyebrows are hilarious, Kyle I can't believe they let him go out in public He looks so shocked.

You know how I knew Stallone was going to have hot daughters? Because there's no way that Stallone made babies with a woman who wasn't gorgeous. That's Sylvester Stallone. Wait a minute. Didn't George Ringer fucking ugly made? He's a rich dude. What did you say? No end bombs. One of his daughters. Didn't George Ringer fucking ugly made? He's a rich dude, though. What did you say? No N-bombs.

One of his brothers. Who said that? All rich cunts always have conventionally attractive children, though, because if they're ugly, all of these bitches here have nose jobs and filler. I'm fucking rich. If I have a kid that's ugly, I'll fucking fix that.

No way. You don't see ugly rich people, you can you can tinker with these a little bit those are three very attractive young ladies lately we don't need to do a whole look i'm not gonna like whatever they want to have done but look i mean they look completely different in these fucking photos no they don't i know what the one the one on the right is now um the one that's but between the mother and her daughter the the one that was in I know the one on the right is now the one that's between the mother and her daughter. The one that was in the middle is now on the right. And then the left one. They look exactly the same. They have their mother's nose, but look at them.

They're all perfectly straight. There's no fucking way they have it. None of them have their own. Are you amazed that Sylvester Stallone married a woman with a straight nose? Wow. He swung that. No one has a nose that fucking straight, Brian. His skin

just looks so thick. I thought you needed to be a billionaire to find a straight-nosed woman, but apparently... Apparently Sylvester Stallone money can pull that kind of thing. I would bet 10 grand that all of them have had fucking shitloads of plastic surgery. And here's...

I also know it because Sylvester Stallone has amazing taste in women. Pull up his girlfriend from the 80s, Brigitte Nielsen. Brigitte Nielsen from the 80s. It's important that you show her from back in the day because you see what Stallone looks like. Nobody ages well.

As far as being an 80-year-old man, he looks good. So much plastic surgery his eyebrows look so fucking weird dude his eyebrows look so fucking i don't look picture of his face i need to see this because i only look at his fucking shoulders and biceps oh his body's fine his body's amazing but his face is what i'm talking about that's just look at look at this like like like stallone has always been had just it's back when he was like look like a normal human this is rocky this is like rocky four times this is around rocky three rocky four because she's in rocky four she plays uh

ivan drago's like i don't know interpreter slash girlfriend or something she's like no one can beat him. Drago destroys. I remember her. That woman, I can't get over her. She's a perfect specimen. She is a perfect fucking specimen. Now, show me this image, Zach. Brigitte Nielsen, Flavor Flav.

Her hair looks like she's good with money. Show me. You know. You don't want to fix Sylvester Stallone. Just those eyebrows. But if he just wore a turtleneck, because his neck just looks like his head's sitting on a hessian sack.

You don't mind the retarded Stallone lip? This is her. Stallone looks awful. This is Brigitte Mill. That damn Stallone looks awful This is Virginia Stallone And his wife Stallone's current wife is probably Just as old as her but looks way better I told you man this bitch is poor

So she looks fucking shit Looks like she's got some Dalmatians to catch That's a good one bad that's a look that is perfect specimens can't be father time so this is an image taken around 2005 or 2006 during the time of flavor of love which, which was Flavor Flav's reality show where he was looking for a lady. Then Brigitte Nielsen had her show, and then they came together to make

just an abomination of the show where they were just fucking each other, and they're in the bathtub together, and it was just so gross. Yeah, it was real gross. Yeah, these two, they're a couple. Look, that's a power couple. Show some respect, Slush.

Yeah, you don't remember Flavor't remember and how he dominated mtv in 2003 i gotta say though like like like she's probably 60 here 55 somewhere in there she is still really good looking if you get if you fix her fucking makeup and delete the fucking troll right like if you do that in this photo then then you're like wow she could take a hot older lady she got pregnant at 55 how 55 is that possible why or is this definitely coming out retarded oh my god no fucking way that kid wasn't retarded if you're missing two chromosomes does it circle around and be okay again why does she

look like Jared Leto all of a sudden she does yeah it looks like the new Joker Jared Leto we're getting rid of Jared Letoo for joker too because he's insufferable to his cast apparently but he was in that other there she is there's fucking uh joker too coming hey um i so serious yeah i so no that's just incredible genetics maybe

not a fully functional you want to know how i got pregnant at 50 so anyway it was flavor flavor and five of his mates another another of my favorite sylvester stallone um um factoids is uh he enjoys a good old-fashioned um glass bottom boat you know what that is it's where you poop on a glass table and the person under it enjoys it, right? That's right. That's where Stallone likes to get up under a glass coffee table, if you will, and then have a young lady squat on top of it, take a poop, watch it splat on top. Is this like a childhood rumor, though?

You remember those celebrity rumors? I'm going to be honest with you. Like Jerry Pat Coley and sure gerbil up his ass I sew things away and then they're fat so I don't know glass bottom boat seems like pussified scat play

if you're into poop get rid of the glass table that's how you wet your feet you dip your toes into it it's like a golden shower in the shower. Yeah. Well, yeah. Ruin your bed.

You're going to the effort of having someone drink a whole bunch of water so they could piss on you. You could buy a fucking top. I think that some of them are like, no, I don't want a fucking hydration you know water pissed i want black coffee all day oh no water yeah hey put that fucking gatorade down mister asparagus or get the fuck out you i was talking to an old uh work colleague about this so she she had a uh she had a pretty wild life like back when she was she was a bit older and she lived in the UK. This is who? One of my work colleagues.

Okay. She worked as a flight attendant and so met a lot of people and did a lot of drugs and crazy shit. She was telling me this story once about her boyfriend at the time who he was like, oh, I want to try getting pissed on. And she's like, oh, fucking, yeah, all right, we'll do it. You just at the time who uh he was like oh i want to like try getting pissed on and she's like oh fucking yeah all right we'll do it you just name the time and and so he they go out to dinner one night and they they have a bunch of beers and she's like yeah i had like four pints of beer and then we went back home and he's like now's the time and he's like sitting on the bed

just like fucking jerking his dick and he's like just come and piss on me and she was like oh i was obviously ready to go i just had like four pints of beer and hadn't pissed but it was just like yeah i think he expected me to just get up and just do like a little bit of a tinkle on his chest and i just stood up and just like started just fucking blasting piss all over the fucking bedroom because i like just had like fucking three liters of beer and he's just like freaking the fuck out and trying to like block it like and she's like okay i couldn't stop it and he's like trying to like piss everywhere and she's like yeah i was fucked it's like piss everywhere and it just made the bedroom fucking stink and it was on the bedroom that's yeah yeah because hey she was drunk as fuck and he was like

clearly expecting just a little bit of a tinker and then she just fucking firehose the cunt that seems like the movie is outside right you don't want to be a pussy who does it in the shower right because that's just that's lame beginner shit and you don't want to ruin your bedspread do it outside yeah yeah exactly and that way also you're like rolling the dice with legality that adds a thrill yeah that's all i you know i see that thing where it's like guys like you'll hear people say oh yeah she's a squirt oh hell yeah it's great it's like man i don't want to fucking clean up after that i don't want to clean up off myself like if she's a squirt or she just pees she gets incontinent during sex if you're into that

fine just know you like pee play and i just don't want to clean it up past judgment but change or not i don't know they're just like rolling over in this shit i disagree with whatever the pee play and the shower being the pussy i feel feel like that's the high IQ maneuver. Like, especially in your shower. Think about your shower. You have a giant shower. You go to the corner that's not even getting hit with water, do your pee in there, and then look at this.

We're right in the cleanup section. Commit to the bit. Although with my shower, I guess it's different. But I was picturing like water already running on you and you just getting peed on and cleaned immediately. You know what would be funny if it's like yeah we have a free use piss relationship where you're like on a zoom call you're like on a zoom call and she just starts pissing on you

fuck you ever been in the shower with your with your missus and just like you're just like god I need to piss and you're like no it's gonna be fine I'm just gonna piss on her leg it's gonna just a that's a little tantalizing foreplay I have done it before

I think it's pretty funny did she think it was funny she did not find it funny it wasn't like a sex thing. I was just like, I need to piss. And I'm like, you know what? I've been drunk before. And you're standing on the fence pissing with your mates.

And then you're just sword fighting with your piss. And it's like, oh, that's funny. It's like, well, I'm standing in here with my wife. There's waters already running. I'm just going to piss on her leg and see what happens. She freaked the fuck out. She didn't care for it believe it most people hate being peed on unexpectedly but you don't know until you try so just you know it's a numbers game don't know it's pet peeve of mine this is being peed on in public dude elon musk banned the guy that So this kid

I think he's a kid like under 18 Wrote software That tracked Elon Musk's plane And tweeted out every time it landed somewhere Apparently that speech Protected by the first amendment I don't know But like I saw it referenced and there was a court

Case where they said this FAA information Is publicly thing So Elon banned This kid from twitter he had a twitter account that would tell you everywhere his plane went all right cool when i first saw that i was like ah you know they're free speech absolutionist he actually called out that kid he's like i hate this but because i care about free speech i'm keeping it around a month later he doesn't and then i learned something terrible happened did elon musk's kid get like attacked in his car did you hear about this so yeah so this guy has been his bot basically retweets out the f a information every time the plane takes off and lands somewhere

yeah and uh elon's point was don't give my current location like delay it in a couple hours or something like that i don't think you said that because i missed it he did um okay but but but what happened was like yeah his i guess a car but it was driving his son to the plane to be flown somewhere is like baby from like a year or two ago and some crazy kids name uh it's it's z or something or zero or it's named after some plane there's like letters and symbols in it it looks like you smashed the keyboard he calls him like no they call they call him they call him professor x and so like little the little professor was on the car and and some crazy person jumped on the car i guess and tried to stop it like got on the hood and so he little the little professor was in the car and and some crazy person jumped on the car i

guess and tried to stop it like got on the hood and so he was like ah i'm gonna ban you now yeah once i learned all the details i was on team musk with this thing like all right yeah i don't know if the plane thing is related to the stalker thing but i do see how you just clean up your security in general after an event like that. Yeah, I don't care. I don't know why everybody hates Elon Musk. I don't know what he did. I still haven't seen him do anything that we

should give a shit about. Do you care if somebody takes over an auto parts fucking store and starts cleaning the house? No. You don't give a shit about the auto parts workers and if Diane and HR got her benefits. Why are y'all auto parts workers and like if if diane and hr got her benefits like why aren't y'all sucking twitter's dick like it's some mom and pop thing built from the ground up by us i just i'm just i'm sick of hearing about the cunt it's like

it's like uh it was like if uh if my wife came home and then just started telling me about like all of the ongoings of some fat old bitch that she works with who's having some marriage troubles or something it's like i just don't give a fuck like information about everything elon musk does has been so interesting to me since he bought twitter the the firings and the fact that the website seems to be running fine you know like to some extent it's like you let go of the wheel and the thing is going to be okay for a little while but yeah it's been like a month right the thing's still maybe it's maybe he was right and he only needed like 15 of that staff

um some of that would be the same with every fucking company on the planet though because like there's so many middle managers and fuckwits in absolutely every single place like that just all their entire job is just having a not a fucking a shit mba and they're just forwarding emails like i bet tesla is bare bones and everybody's sleeping there to get their job done and like every time he does something they're like trying to find some legalese way to be annoying he's like yeah we put in some fucking bedrooms that here here at twitter hq because these guys are working 80 90 hour weeks and they need to sleep in the office because that's what that's what's what i require people you don't like it and go get another job that doesn't require that

but we got beds here and they were like actually according to this ordinance you can't have beds in there oh god let's rat him out and he's like actually i just bought the person in that district and it's i love that you see the one where it's like uh the the cyber truck um well this cyber fucking mac truck thing was like hold a five five hundred mile journey with eight eighty one thousand pounds and then like the most liked reply was the legal limit's 80,000 pounds. This is illegal. I thought that was pretty fucking funny. And he's not going to do it.

No, there's a different limit for electronic trucks. Oh, no, just like vehicle mass for trucks in general. It's different for e-trucks. I know 80 grand is the limit, but apparently for e-trucks, it's like 87 grand. You know what the most dangerous thing on the road is today?

You know what the most dangerous thing on America's roads are? A 90,000 pound e-truck going 75 miles per hour. How much lithium ion is in that motherfucker? Enough to make you the news.

Y'all might know this but like firefighters now have like a special kit to deal with um electric car fires because they burn like i don't know 5 000 degrees or something and go on for 45 minutes whereas like movies and tv shows make regular car fires look like way easier to deal with than they actually are. A regular car fire is an inferno that cooks off and accelerates in a rapid kind of manner, and that car turns into like a furnace oven that's just blasting whatever's in it. And it's full of things that explode and go pop and whiz

and scare people, whether they're dangerous or not. But an electric car fire is like you brought the fucking sun to earth it's the closest thing to a nuclear blast you'll ever get to it's like i would bet that those like big lithium ion packs are just like millions of 18 650 batteries from vapes just like stacked together this is like a chain reaction of that shit going off yeah he bought all those android batteries from when that was happening androids were blowing up like he put them in teslas yeah yeah like that that shit like fizzes off i mean i think the only way to put it out is just like dousing it with carbon dioxide and providing it with oxygen like i said they have some kind of a kit now to deal with those fires because water ain't the answer, I guess. Have you seen the lithium

fire? You remember in school, I don't know if you guys did this, it was either sodium or lithium or something where they take a strip of it and then drop it in water and it goes... I think it's sodium. It becomes active. Lithium's the same way.

It's so bright, you're not even supposed to look at it while it's burning. It's bad for your eyes to see something that bright and you got a million of them in a fucking camry shaped bomb and like i would never fucking yes it's selling me this is cool man after saying like you go through like all the panels are like detaching on them and shit like that and you look at the build quality and it's like this is this is worse put together than 99 a 99 xl hyundai xl and then you're telling me it's got a fucking one ton bomb under it like there's no fucking way i would drive that i wonder about the build quality stuff because i keep hearing about panel gaps if people don't know like the

trunk will be just slightly off center by like an eighth of an inch or that the gap next to the trunk where the the fenders isn't exactly the same all the way through and they make a big deal out of that should i care about that is that i don't care about if i noticed it would bother me like like i care because i think it's indicative of of the rest of the car that's what i want to know but the rest of the car compared to like an internal combustion engine is maybe reliable or just like naturally simple compared to an internal combustion and internal combustion engine is a rube goldberg craziness of like transmission and engine and fuel delivery and all that stuff with the cooling all that stuff goes away you have a much simpler idea just electric you still have to have you still have

to have cooling for the batteries and shit like the batteries get hot i forgot i need like any like computers for discharge rates because if you discharge them too fast or or too slow i forget they can catch fire and shit like that so i think it i think it's just as complicated no no i'm with woody on this one like no it's but it's more complicated it's less mechanically transferring the energy so many times like mechanically like the energy is being transferred mechanically so many different times between the fucking i don't know the ignition and the wheel that there's just a lot of things that break as you break into you you lose electricity it's complicated to me because i'm stupid and and i have a hard time like debugging things that are electric as opposed to a mechanical thing i can kind of see where it

stops moving or gets jammed up but um in terms of reliability it just seems like it's a better idea and then it will clearly be more reliable than what we have now i think it will be a hundred percent i'm not saying like electric cars aren't the future but they definitely will be i just i just don't think that teslas have the build quality to make a car that is like right now more reliable than like a uh say like a really efficient hybrid from a well-known company like we have those numbers i mean i mean we don't have to like guess about this right like tes Tesla has reliable numbers, and then there's been

Priuses for, I don't know, 20 years. I choose to guess anyway. Yeah. Tesla has reliable numbers on how long they last. I just don't fucking care. I just don't fucking care. I wonder if it's Cybertrucks.

You know what we should talk about? I want to talk about Superman. Do you want to talk about Superman? Cyber trucks. You know what we should talk about? We should talk about... Do you want to talk about Superman or the Donald Trump trading cards that he released? I have that right under Superman. I have that written down too. We can do the NFT thing. I have a link

there already for the Donald Trump. All the cards there in that link, that Reddit link. I choose to believe that you wrote down the link in your paper book at the end x y capital p one like the oldest of old person you know when you ever had you ever had a person he starts off with the http shit first of all i don't know what that means but i know it's transfer protocol yeah idiot thank you it's almost like you had a career so this is like i'm gonna go out on a limb and say far and away the most offensive thing he's

ever done all right so let's lay out what this is before we go any further so trump trump tweeted out yesterday like the picture on the right and he was like big announcement coming tomorrow like like the hero american needs or some shit like that it was very similar to the one on the right he was actually in front of trump tower if i remember correctly um not in front of this american flag nonsense. And it wasn't exactly that one either. But yeah, he's selling these trading cards, a hundred bucks. I think there might be a hundred of them.

You can read there. I'm not going to refuse. But I thought he was going to have a campaign announcement. You know what this means? You know what this is indicative of? He just quit. He just quit. And he, no, definitely.

He just quit. Really? definitely. He just quit. Really? Yes. He just quit trying to be president and went full fleece. He is not going to be president. He is going to half-heartedly run. It's over. This is it.

I think you're right. This is the last. What do you do after an NFT? And look, I hate to say to say i hate to pick it okay some of these are pretty funny it's genuinely a funny i like the middle one the amount of work on the chin and all of them is hilarious the chin look at his hands look at his hands. But the only part of these that are him is the face. It's not his hands.

It's some guy standing. It's not only his hands. It's his hands photoshopped to be bigger. It is. Do you think they went through that much effort? I think they just popped his head on some guy in a stock photo. Look how long the arms would have to be.

He could be a UFC fighter be a ufc fighter he's built like john jones like oh man this is upsetting this is brutal he just quit um and this is the work this is awful this is so embarrassed i didn't realize they were nfts i thought they were just digital trading cards i think it's worse than that i think i thought oh they're not even physical i can't even get a little card. They're digital. No, no. Yeah, yeah. This is an investment, Kyle.

If you don't think that Trump NFTs are going to skyrocket, then you just don't understand NFTs. Don't look at any other NFTs. How many are there? Don't look at the NFT market in general. Don't pay attention to people who have known it's dead for a year now. The thing with NFTs is that they only have value because other people want them and this is this these things are just so fucking retarded that people will want them this is the same problem of every nft thing we're like it's

just like a tulip bag holder thing like we are enjoying the funny photos for free right now. Like the guy who paid a hundred grant, go back to the, go back to the other pictures, like the funnier one where he's in the cowboy thing and the, and the space thing. Like we're enjoying it for free right now. Laughing at his,

I mean, I put a link there with all of them. No, one's getting more enjoyment by buying this trash. I mean, you guys are so wrong. A fool and his money are soon parted. You're looking at the guy

who used to have oh they removed it yeah how do you buy these if there's a hundred of these if how many is it is there like two there are a hundred and to your point woody i would buy one of those now to your point about like here they are like i had a link to all of them like i would buy one of those now to your point about like here they are like i had a link to all of them like like every single one of them on reddit and it got removed they got taken down like like it since i put the link in there for like our use earlier whenever it was like like yeah that's fucking lame i mean you can look at people's nfts you just can't claim ownership right is that the fake rule for this i'll be honest i don't fucking know it's it's man that is so this is the most embarrassing thing

he's ever done yeah i are in the way i'm gonna lie down i'm fucking by one of those if there's only 100 of them i know it's stupid it's only 99 no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no the fuck knows what it's gonna be worth wait they Wait, they're $99 and there's 100 total? Is that the case? If there's 100 total? No, no, there's 100. There's a variety pack. This is like Pokemon cards, dude.

There ain't no limit. So you can buy it. There's like unlimited supply of them? Yeah. What do you get for $99? Oh, well, no, fuck it. No, man, if there's unlimited supply of them, I don't give a fuck about that.

I thought they were 99 cents each. I completely misunderstood. When I saw this, I just didn't care anymore i just thought it was so fucking lame that he was doing it at all and the pictures are so silly the astronaut one looks like joe biden by the way the coolest thing he's ever done no the coolest thing he ever did was oh man it's hard to narrow down All the cool things he's done. All those nicknames. The good ones before he was 5,000. To sanctimonious.

When he, that tweet he did about Kim Jong-un, where he was like, Kim Jong-un's out here calling me fat. When I would never call him short. Never. I would never call him a short fat man. Like that. He tweeted that about kim jong-un about a kind of erratic world that was funny that was like these favorites up of

insult though would just be like look i'm not saying that taylor's a fuckwit but some people are saying it i would never call him i'd never call him a rapist you'd be hard-pressed to get me to call him a rapist he's not a rap-pressed to get me to call him a rapist. He's not a rapist as far... I mean, I could never say. I could never say. There are a lot of people saying it. Everyone's saying it. People are talking about it.

How much is that ticket? How many Trump trading cards do you want? What a phony way to frame that. I can't figure out the price. If I buy 45... All right, so put it in your cart. Check out. No, it says buy...

Oh, buy now with crypto. How do you buy with money? You fucking do it. You buy with money? It's not a website, Kyle. It's a picture. But I'm sure you derived it from a link. So, like, go...

I don't know. What kind of crypto can you buy? I might have enough. I don't know what crypto is. Let's do it. Dude, Slush, I would love if you bought a Trump NFT on the show. I'm fucking Kane. I am fucking Kane. I don't want to get one. Guys, let's all throw him some support. dude i would love if you bought a trump nft on the show i'm fucking keen

guys let's all throw him some support i'll only buy it if i can get a good one yeah fucking uh what is it the amazon primes going to twitch primes on my uh twitch channel so i can afford a trump nft oh yeah you have to jesus christ yeah this is this is brutal this is embarrassing and kyle is one billion percent on the money that this is it like he's not he's i don't he's no longer like serious serious presidential candidate you think he just no i think he is like all in leaning for for cashola at this point like i i bet he doesn't even want to be president again it's possible you know because they like they said

that about him the first time you know where they're like he's a 75 year old billionaire who can do whatever he wants why would he want to be president like maybe he finally agrees with that if this isn't glaring to somebody out there, the problem I see with this is there was clearly a lot of time and effort and thought put into this place, into this nonsense. And he's tweeting about it and he's hyping it up. So it's something on his mind.

And this shouldn't be anywhere near his mind because he should be trying to become the president of the world again. That should be what he's working on. He should be looking forward to a year and a half from now, right? A year from now, when he's going to start fighting to be the president of the world again. Not selling trading cards on your made-up social media site. You know what actually could make this cool?

As if there was text on it where it's like when don when spaceman donald trump enters the battlefield add two mana oh yeah like if we could play trump yeah if we could play trump and it was like this basketball playing trump this this uh cowboy trump yes tramp card this is this while you guys are dogging on these like this the concept of selling digital trading cards. That one is just him with a hat on. I'm trying to figure out which one I want.

What's this pixelized money? How about when you had a pixelized head? I don't know what Ethereum is right now, but that's real cheap. That's real cheap. .09 Ethereum? What is an Ethereum? I think that's like cheap that's real cheap like like 0.09 ethereum what is an ethereum i think that's like a hundred dollars ethereum is worth 1269 dollars there was a way to tell man oh god i wish

well i'm gonna guess that's 36 dollars 0.090 So that's just what I'm going to decide. Yeah, these are so embarrassing. So many at $115 each. Fucking... Say you're in my money. $16. Which, it's so close to... Can you make the Clark Kent one bigger?

It's sort of top left right now. That's not the one. No, not that one. What was the one you wanted? He was pulling his shirt apart. I called it the Clark Kent one. Ah, the Clark the one. No, not that one. What was the one? He was pulling his shirt apart. I called it the Clark Kent one. Ah, the Clark Kent one. This is going to be an impossible page to track

because these all look the same. They're so similar and low effort because they're not him. They're not him. They just stuck his head on the same suit over and over. Let's see that one. That's the Clark Kent one. That's the body one. Why are hisark kent wanted ah that's the body you are now

why are his hands black because he's wearing gloves he's wearing gloves why do his gloves look like flesh because he's got fucking reverse re-vitiligo wait wait so there's offers 66 dollars from an hour ago this isn't a lot of offers. Are these people really already selling at 9% and 12% below original price? Okay, so it's... Look, maybe I'm reading this incorrectly. Shit's on sale.

Yeah, shit's on sale from individuals. You can go up there and buy it from Trump, it looks like to me. Or you can buy from one of these people who want out. Some people were in it for the memes like this like uh open sea shit like that people just put that stuff up on there to see if they can get a sale for it so they'll just like buy this crap and then they're like i'll just flip this really quickly exactly click click on one of them just like like, yeah, that one. Click on this motherfucker. This motherfucker is trying to sell his fucking $12 trillion.

There's properties. Look at this. There's stats. Background, Texas Ranch, 0.55% have this trait. Character, Hunter, 2%. That means one in 50 of these, he's a fucking hunter. Face, smile, a little over a third. He's smiling.

This is insane. are you meant to collect these like pokemon cards like oh i almost have all the smiles scroll back up i can like uh i'm curious about something else i'll wait at the top of the page like like i think all the way to the top like the very top very very top he looks like putin really very top oh maybe go back then because i thought it said said how many total... Yeah, there we go. 10,000 owners. 33% unique owners.

Don't know what that means. Does that mean... Only a third of them only own one? Does that mean that 67% belongs to Trump and that 33% have been purchased? That's how I view that. I have no idea. Total volume, 133 ethereum that doesn't seem like much no idea what i'm looking at um i don't care anymore but this is just so pathetic this is so pathetic and like like look if you were going to

do this it's not even this done well if if if we here we're gonna make some fucking nfts they'd look better than this i swear to god they would like we wouldn't have done so many we'd have made three that look good instead of a hundred that look like shit right yeah like that's the move that's what they do i do like that auto generation shit so it's just like randomized so same with that those fucking you can get better or they have like randomized fucking bullshit and then yeah that's awesome. The man.

That's pretty funny. Oh, that was good. Who did he cut out? Honestly, if he was going to an FDR go, if he was going for funny, he should have made himself all for a. I heard about the nude. This is the new deal. FDR. Get out of here. Not in Lincoln. deal, FDR. Get out of here.

Get out of here, Lincoln. Get out of the deal. Yeah, fuck him, man. So lame. That's not even his real face. All right, go back to that one. I'm sorry. I just noticed something great.

Go back to Mount Rushmore. Look how huge his hands are. It's like he's wearing those Hulk gloves. it looks like he's like a man like a plumber small like a 40 years into the career plumber like gripping and squeezing shit like you don't think those are you don't think those are his real hands yeah those look like those are like they made fun of him about you know those aren't his hands they're gargantuan yeah that's wink he has little hands that have never done any work is this website even the him in the in like the header

up there with those shades on like he i it's just what do you video from the matrix you guys are ripping on him so much he is a fucking moron i've always been one to give him credit when he's funny and this is the most embarrassing thing he's ever done this is such a shameless look how poorly done they are look how poorly done all of them are despicable

despicable Don you could have a guy on Fiverr make these for a couple hundred dollars Donnie Dollard with his NFT site you could get this done for a couple hundred dollars donnie dullard with his nft site you could have you could get this done for a couple hundred dollars on fiverr like he's they just stuck his face over and over on the same body there's like three different bodies and five different faces and they just mix and match like there's probably you could probably use one of those ai art programs and be like make a donald

trump nft uh cowboy hat superhero american flag we did We did. A few of my friends did that when that fucking AI shit came out. We just made heaps of fucking hilarious AI things of Donald Trump. And one of my friends, he's not a conspiracy theorist guy, but he loves watching that shit just for entertainment while he's high. And most of them were just like Donald Trump fucking aliens and shit like that just for like see what the ai would pop out and they do they do make some pretty fucking hilarious shit like it's which one do you use is it free i think this one was the uh what's it called mid journey we're using mid journey because it makes some pretty funny shit but yeah you can you can make the most fucked up things on it it's great taylor do we need to do ads yes we absolutely do

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We're done with the stuff. Yay. Man, this Trump NFT thing. that's it we're done we're done with the with the stuff yay man this trump nft thing that is so fucking embarrassing oh that's the embarrassing thing i am i think that those pictures that i sent he's grifting for pennies i think he's great for like running for president he's always been grifting for pennies no not not pennies no he's always been grifting this is also pathetic this is like a this yes not but not in the last couple years like like trump university was coming to an end like there was lawsuits about it because he was now doing like real presidential shit he wasn't making new universities he wasn't he wasn't doing that stuff anymore.

He didn't have Trump steaks and Trump fucking coffee or anything. He was President Trump. That's what he was doing and that's what he was becoming. He's circled back to that other version of him who is the grifter who makes little products and sells them on the internet. He's fucking ShamWow

guy again. This is 5, 10 levels below where he was. He was God Emperor Trump. Now he's Sham's fucking sham wow guy again like this is five ten levels below where he was he was god emperor trump now he's sham wow trump he was the president and he's selling pictures of himself photoshopped with larger hands on the moon yeah meanwhile i love that description two years that's what's happening here two years ago he literally had the power to go to the moon yeah and now he has a cartoon of him drawn to look like he's there he bombed he bombed syria and iran and now he's like look at me i have a shotgun yeah now here's a picture of me in iran with sunglasses and a fucking corncob pipe in because we ran out of accessories to make a billion of these

it's it's so embarrassing it's uh it's one of the worst things he's ever done it works i'd say it's you guys think that uh when with trump so if he does run uh he's running he already announced okay so if he runs and then kanye has said he's running and then he had that fucking argument with trump that they they talked about for a little while uh if if they run and then the republicans what do the republicans do like do they fucking they they surely they have to pick one of them to back because they can't no no no no no no no okay so so maybe you might not understand this um because you're australian kanye west has like zero support so like oh yeah zero i i understand that but he does he does sort of fracture if he's running as a republican leader then he has the ability to sort of fracture not at the slightest here's how

this system works in the very beginning there's something called a primary. No, I know how the primary works. Yeah, yeah, I know how. So Kanye will just lose during the primaries if he even gets that far. But because Trump said this last time, because if you lose the primary, you can still choose to run for president. As an independent, yeah. As an independent.

If he runs, if Trump runs's an independent yeah as an independent if he runs if trump runs as an independent is he going to fracture the conservative vote and fuck it for conservatives ah yeah that's if trump runs as an independent then he could fuck things up and trump has the capability to fuck things up kanye doesn't kanye can run as an independent no one will pay any attention yeah but if trump and desantis both both win, I'm sorry, both run, Biden's almost a guaranteed winner because he'll- Is this going to fuck Trump? That's Trump's biggest Trump card, if you will,

is that he could always say, look, I see you guys are pumping a lot of money into DeSantis, and y'all haven't given me a dime. Clearly, you're on his side. Let me let you know what money into DeSantis, and y'all haven't given me a dime. Clearly, you're on his side. Let me let you know what happens when DeSantis wins. We launch the independent Trump MAGA party. We're not going to run as an independent. We're going to make the MAGA party a real party.

It is the third party this time, and I'm going to run as the MAGA candidate. It would ruin the Republican Party. It would ruin them. For as long as he lives. Have you been following Christine Sinema? Because that's interesting. I've got a fucking massive issue if that happens. There's a related

thing here. I don't know if you can hear me, but with Christine Sinema. So she's a Democratic Senator from New Mexico or Arizona. I forget which. She's a democrat but the democrats hate her because she's always voting against democratic stuff so what she was looking at in two years was getting primaried which means that another democrat was going to run against her and then they would probably beat her because all the democrats hate her so much and uh then it would

be that person against a republican no incumbent okay so she sees this coming and says okay now i'm an independent i'm no longer democrat i'm an independent but if the democrats don't back me i will run as an independent split the vote just like we're talking about and the republican will be guaranteed to win so while i'm an independent the democrats have to back me or i'll fuck you and trump is going to have that same sort of power to screw things over and we'll see how he can leverage it to his advantage it also changes the dynamic in the senate slightly because while the dems still maintain the majority of because of the vice. Not just the majority, but now it's not as tight. It's tighter

because we're down one. All you need is one guy to go the wrong way and things don't get to go through, right? Isn't that a weak majority or whatever the fuck you call it? She's not changing her voting at all. She's still going to caucus with the Democrats. They're still going to own all voting at all she's still going to caucus with the democrats they're still going to own all the committees and she's going to vote

with the democrats see see i didn't know about her getting primaried i didn't know that part that's a huge part of the story i viewed that as she is the smartest cookie in the whole jar she saw an opportunity to make her seat the most powerful seat in the whole senate she's the one the republicans are going to come and say look you're with us on guns i know that so immigration is the the sister of guns right or whatever they're trying to like pull her uh her strings onto it makes a lot we had something similar happen in australia a while back where the uh it was sort of like so split down the middle and we had one independent happen in australia a while back where the uh it was sort of like so split down the middle and we had one independent candidate that was pretty much just the fucking

soothsayer of everything like they literally just controlled the entire government and they're fuck with like you're just some random independent motherfucker from some boontown nowhere that has no fucking idea what the hell's going on and they're just like yeah i make all the decisions now what's the that's the thing if there's 100 voters and it's 49 49 and 2 like those are the blocks all three blocks have equal power yeah uh we uh what's uh i guess a liberal government we're called uh well so we have to see we have two parties one's called the liberal party which is the conservatives which is fucking weird and then we have the lay the labor party which is the uh which is the democratic side so we have a democratic government

at the moment uh so they're the prime the prime minister is anthony albanese and i want to talk democrat yeah i want to talk about um superman in a minute but but i did want to see i mentioned i saw this thing with uh the kiwi president um she's the one who took away all their guns a couple years ago after the the christ uh whatever yeah right yeah um which is a weird name for it for church because they were it was wasn't a church right it was a they're muslims oh no it's a christ church is the name of the place yeah the mosque was in christ church yeah

okay i'm wrapping my head around that it's a little bit yeah okay maybe that's why he well anyway she she what she was caught on a hot mic saying something about her like opponent like like ah he's a fucking self-righteous prick like and the end uh and so he heard it and they came up with the coolest way of not being pieces of shit politicians they came to get since she called him a prick they came together for prostate health awareness and they're like photographed together like it's some kind of a prostate like health awareness like money raising thing they did something in that nature like like have a laugh at the whole i love it yeah me too our politicians would have been such

are such scumbags like it would have been offended they would have called her sexist they would have you know they would body shame yeah well i mean i've personally body shamed her before i i didn't like that i didn't like when she took the the kiwi guns away i guess um uh but uh you know she's got that big old horse face and then chompers but that all that apparently new zealand loves her i uh yeah yeah they do they do i i've heard like from new zealanders one of one of my streamer uh well not mates but guy i know through streaming uh he's big into like the maori culture uh stuff so he uh he does like wood carvings and so the president or prime minister or whatever the fuck they are came on his twitch stream and was like doing wood carvings with him and yeah like as a

like a fucking advertising thing it was it's quite funny i think i get a different point of view of that culture because my friends there i think are more well to do and so i think they're also a little more right wing so they don't like her and they do not like the mao the maoris and they don't like that uh taiki watita guy or i fucked i just butchered his name that's as close as i can get right now yeah they don't like that Taiki Watita guy, or I just butchered his name, but that's as close as I can get right now. They don't like any of that. Anytime they see him sneak in some sort of Maori resistance flag

colors into a Guardians of the Galaxy movie, they're just over there like, you cocksucker. It'd be like throwing the rebel flag up on a spaceship to Americans. They're like, whoa, what the fuck? I think it's, she's not.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Zach just told me she's not as liked as I thought. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I just got that one point of view from my friends. I'm always, I don't think they're well salted.

I think you're right. I'm wrong. Yeah, I thought they loved her, but yeah, I guess not. Well, she did take all the guns away and keep them and keep him safe yeah i mean she did become prime minister so i assumed i locked her at some fucking stage i think you want to tell me about superman oh my god henry cavill so henry cavill i love henry cavill because he's a he's a he's a incredibly handsome like six foot four british actor who's also a nerd somehow like he's into like the nerdiest of nerd shit he's super into warhammer 40k like that goofy shit that i'm in i'm the hero that we

all needed yeah and and like but he's also like the chad of chad's right he is superman or he was they just had told him like a month ago i think they'd be like hey we're set here you're superman here are the numbers he's like yeah numbers look good i'm superman and now they come back around and they're like actually james gunn has talked with i can't remember the other gentleman's name but the guy at warner brothers they've discussed this thing and you're out as superman we're doing a we're rebooting superman we're doing a young Superman. We're going to see Superman meet Lois Lane and Jimmy. And we're going to get, we're going to, we're getting to see all that again. And you're Henry Cavill. You can't be the, the adult hardcore Superman.

And, uh, and so they, they fired him essentially like yesterday and he announced that and they had already, he'd already been essentially walked away from the Witcher because of their writing staff being such – they seemingly hate The Witcher, I guess, the people who are writing The Witcher show. And they want to insert their own sort of political agenda into it. And so he didn't like all that. Or he didn't like something they were writing. That's my take on it. But he didn't like the writing, so he separated. So now he doesn't have a job, right?

And I was almost feeling –ry cavill right what i mean is he doesn't have anything taking his attention he doesn't he's not focused on anything right now he's got time on his hands and so the links over there is that like i'm so psyched because i know i i was hoping and praying and i even saw people on the uh the 40k subreddits that I'm on that people were like, hey, he's available now. He could do it because he's always talking about doing a 40k movie or TV series, and apparently he got somebody at Amazon to finance the goddamn thing. So he's producing and starring in a Warhammer fucking 40k series on Amazon. I wasn't sure where all this was going

I legit thought Kyle was going to make a pitch and say Henry Cavill for $500 I'll play Darktide with you I know you're there's a Patreon level there's no way that Henry Cavill does not play Darktide I guarantee he's

you're going to have to carry his ass he's only a fake nerd. He doesn't have any time. I've seen interviews. Nobody fakes painting those figurines. They asked him what his favorite army was, and he got into some nitty-gritty shit.

Yeah, he was like... He started... He name-dropped three or four different kinds of armies, and he was like well you know there it was what it was the answer that a professional gives you it's like when someone asks me what's your favorite gun it's like well let's break them into subcategories the scenario we're talking about here do you mean the gun that meant the most to me or the gun like there's like eight different cool answers

i can give you to this the thing to entertain you in one way or another and that's how he was with like nerdy ass tabletop warhammer normally when i if i'd heard that amazon was going to make a series about a property like this like like what they did with lord of the rings for example i'd be like oh okay i'll I won't even bother watching that probably. But the fact that he's attached and he's producing, I think, and starring in it would lead me to believe that he's got some juice over there at Amazon and maybe he's making a show because...

I would imagine he's a big guy. He also just got fucked by the Witcher thing, them not writing it true to lore or whatever. And so I bet he would go into something new like this, especially if he's as passionate as you say about it, and be like listen, it's gotta be done this way. It has to be true

to the lore that I'm addicted to. The thing is, with Warhammer, the stories are already there, and the lore is already there you just have to like fill in the gaps with and and like have your characters there like it's it's it's ready made and it's 40 000 years of history so you can kind of pick what kind of story you want do you want a story from a time when humanity was on the rise or on the decline do you want to you want to see medieval knights that happened you want to see monster green people you want to see alien like monsters do you want to like see like aliens that see them fight aliens that are smart and beautiful i reckon

a cool way to do that would be like season long season long fucking story arcs where like they can still have the same actors but you know that like uh what's that horror show american horror story like an anthology series just yeah anthology series and then they just hit like fucking heaps of different it's a good idea that'd be fucking awesome because there's so many shortened like novellas on that it'd be yeah warhammer warhammer really shines when in short story form. When you already know the universe, I've heard it said that Warhammer 40K is a setting, not a story, and it is.

Once you know the setting, then a little short story can be stuck anywhere in the timeline, and you know what the chessboard looks like, and so you know where this piece fits, and it all interweaves together really well. The stories are dark and awful. surround you know what the chess board looks like and so you know where this piece like fits fits and it all interweaves together really well the stories are dark and awful i just uh read krieg um last week that was excellent i i and uh and now i'm um i'm reading an orc book i don't remember the name of it but uh i'm really excited to see that he's attached to this thing. I hope it happens and happens soon because it's like a dream come true for so many fans of that universe.

Because it seems like it's been getting bigger lately. Like I only discovered it like two years ago or something. And it seems like it's become, I mean, already like I've seen like a couple of big games have come out. Darktide has its issues. But there's also that Space Marine game that 2 is dropping sometime next year. That looks really cool. They could just do so many cool things,

because they could just be like, oh, what's happening next season? It's like, oh, now we're focusing on a story with this fucking Horus heresy, and then we're going back to fucking this this one's gonna be about this character this and and i could just switch in between whatever it's basically fucking losses to print money because you could just go to any battlefield on any planet it doesn't matter who's fighting or what they're fighting over it's cool like all the stories are

cool like some of the monsters that show up are just so horrific. It's the nastiest stuff you've ever heard of. They've got guns that shoot maggots that bore into your eyeballs and into your brain. It's like, why are they passing? It's worse than a bullet. That's the problem. As far as efficacy,

if I shot super sharp knives at you slowly, you'd probably appreciate that. It's a it's an organism so it's it's not like a person who went and made a gun in a factory that does that it's a monster that's been genetically engineered by a hive mind like there's this hive intelligence that genetically engineer them to shoot fucking bullets so one of the enemies in warhammer 40 so it's a it's a galactic sort of like setting right like we're on earth and this star system and there's a million worlds on a million star systems in our galaxy the tyranids came from another galaxy they can they're they're they're these

like alien awful monsters and they have sort of a hive intelligence and when they get to a world they want to eat and they want to eat everything that's alive there and make it increase their biomass when they do that they might get shot by like anti-aircraft missiles so they'll immediately start like thinking about how to breed a new bug to deal with anti-aircraft missiles or whatever they're dealing with oh they've got armor let's make some monster that spits acid oh they've got um they'll send swarms of like bugs into the barrels of of like the gun emplacements it doesn't matter if a million bugs die as long as the guns stop shooting so that the bigger bugs can land and they're not all bugs they're all sorts of just awful just disgusting man i hope they make this show that would be awesome oh let me see the orcs

thing but yeah the orcs have their best fucking law the green skins i hope the orcs are a show i hope they start to make the show and it completely falls apart career hits the shitter and he becomes a twitch streamer and we get to see him every day i fucking hate you i hate you no boo i want the cool show after kyle talks about the bug world i really want you would oh the orcs are better the the orcs are a uh were created they're a race of beings that were that are a biological weapon from a time so far back that it's silly to assign a number to it when two godlike races battled each other one created the orcs to to fight since then now that war has been

fought and lost or won it doesn't matter anymore the orcs have devolved into these mindless stupid things and all of first of all they're half fungus half biological organism they're sexless they grow out of the ground like fungus they actually do like like spring out to the ground and and so it doesn't matter if you slaughter them all they're like spores or whatever got into the dirt and if you don't go out with flamethrowers and scour the ground that they walked they'll come back in a few years they'll just grow back it when they when they went a huge problem they've completely like devolved and forgotten the old ways they used to be gigantic smart intelligent beings with like mental powers and stuff and now they're just completely on instinct their technology works

through this sort of combined mental telepathy where they believe that if you paint a car red it'll go faster and because they all believe it hard enough it will go faster if you really and they have again like they're flying machines they're like they're like chance skybird and because everyone believes that it flies that okay and they're all like they have this like latent telepathic ability that they don't know about but they chance skybird enough and the plane flies if you took an orc gun if you took their machine gun and you ripped it apart you'd find it was made out of pipes and and metal boxes stuck together with bolts inside it wouldn't make sense it's working because they believe it works and they have and it's it's this mental telepathy power that just makes their shit work and their entire industry i they have like a life

it's not just orcs there's a whole like there's a whole um like family tree of organisms that are sort of related to them so there's like these little squigs that hop around that have like 30 different purposes oh that's a grease squig that they excrete like an oily greasy substance that we use to lubricate our guns like like like like every little being in their little uh world is another green version of them that they use for a different thing some of them they just eat there's a whole group like cruel like is it like the flintstones where there's just like some some fucking squig that just has a big mouth and they're just shitting its mouth they have they have giant attacking squigs in uh war fantasy. Yeah, the fantasy version. Yeah, yeah. They have a gun

that teleports a little... I can't remember if it's a grot or a squig. It's a little troll being. A little gremlin. It teleports that inside of whatever you're aiming at. So you might shoot it at a tank. And so all the little beings materialize inside of it. Shit!

They make a point in all the literature of letting you know that immediately they begin fighting with everything they have, these little beings, and shitting everywhere. So sometimes, so they might blast one

inside your suit of armor with you. And so he just starts shitting and fighting and tearing you apart. He might be inside your body cavity. You're getting infections.

Yeah. Well, you're just kidding. Yeah. Warhammer 40k is really silly, really funny, and really dark. I hope they make something out of it. The only problem I can say to them is not me. The only problem they make at stream is make it work every day.

Hit the grind. Eight hours a day on Twitch. I was living that pampered hollywood life with crap on that sigma grind set yeah get on that thing i saw that tweet the other day this guy's like oh i'm a teacher my teacher don't ask me if you want a billion dollars now or ten thousand dollars every month for the rest of your life and the and the kids like no i want to pay you ten thousand dollars a month for the rest of your life and that and the kids like no i want to pay you ten thousand dollars a month for the rest of my life because then i've got something to grind for get on that grind set fucking dumb as shit in the world it's like a meme that's making fun of i i remember seeing this post it was like some unironic like fucking retard who was like if i was offered a billion dollars or a dinner with a billionaire

i would take the dinner so i could get all the experience that they had and everyone of course is like the the billionaire would tell you you made a huge mistake in not taking the money you dumbass like like in your head is that like smart like whoa this guy values knowledge in a way i can't even comprehend it's like shut up shut up dumbass where he's like uh he's like if someone offered you a billion dollars or a book on how to make a billion dollars which one would you take and the guy's like easy answer i'd take the book and i'd read it five times and then i'd have five billion dollars that was shit that's a high iq maneuver because his answer is a troll oh man they're all yeah they're all fucking trolls i i think like with that the warhammer shit like the only problem they're all yeah they're all fucking trolls i i think like

with that the warhammer shit like the only problem they're gonna have is this there's so many like races and armies and shit that it's just gonna end up a clusterfuck explaining them all like they need to just pick a specific one and just go with it like they'll have to learn yeah they'll have to know that if they do it it'll be for like you know an audience that doesn't know much about 40k yeah that's they would have to they're gonna have to like down and that's gonna make it shitty but not necessarily shitty they'd have to like pick a team to really focus on and another team to really focus on or they could just come in is it that complicated because like there's a lot of history

in everything so these are like these are like races of things that have like 40 000 years of history and all of them are like together uh like this this like how many races is there like fucking i don't know kyle knows more than me just from the videos i've watched from like luton and a couple of those guys on youtube like it's like you'll you'll watch a video that's like kind of warhammer 40k explained and then like at the end of it you're like oh man like i i don't i really don't understand it at all still because they'll be like you know 40 000 years ago the emperor revolted against blah blah and then you know three minutes later in the video they're like and 15 000 years after that, and it's there's so much time, like watching those Warhammer explained videos is like, all right, human history, Mesopotamia, most likely bit of time in Egypt. We don't have time for Greece or Rome.

So something about the Mongols, Middle Ages, and then there's Trump's NFT his nft thing like that like that bullshit it's like if white white people discovered everything and if the black aliens help them there we go that's it yes that's that would be there it's already a way to explain it yeah oh yeah human history those people who think like everything was from aliens yeah which is not true we figured some stuff out the only people who think that are the history channel they like that it's only ever it's only ever people that are black that used alien technology all white people are like oh it's a genius genius and then that then it's like oh the egyptians are slightly brown not aliens have to build the pyramid. Aztecs, not black. If white people had to build pyramids, they'd be like, fucking geniuses.

Absolutely. Engineering that goes into this shit. That would be a hilarious history show to host where you never acknowledge it, but you just go around debunking non-white. That's all that you're just like clearly you slowly become more of a racist as you get until you get canceled you're

just standing this guy's literally the last episode of the show is like the tremendous feat of nazi architecture yeah there's this black guy he's gonna leave at a lift of rock and he's like so who taught you that and he's like i made it myself so aliens right someone must have come and instructed you on how to use this lever you couldn't have possibly intuited your way into it oh yeah so how many races are in the like the 40k universe car like oh no it's gonna be here so if you're talking about the the tabletop board game there's like a limit on that i have no idea where it is but a couple dozen probably but if you're talking about like in all of the lore then there's thousands right because there's there's there's like there's maybe a three or four dozen like named races that have larger stories about them but like i've heard tell of like oh a hundred

worlds i've conquered a hundred different species knelt at my feet and it's like oh shit like we didn't even get to talk about the worm people of epsilon three or the badger folk of trigalar four like they just shit on them but like there wasn't anything they could give to the give give to them they didn't have any cool tech or anything they're like yeah we just slaughtered the badger people and took their world like we didn't negotiate and there really wasn't a whole war to write a story about because you know they were badger people so that's where i think it'll get confusing though because like you then you've got like shit like the space marines and like chaos space marines and they have like inside them, like, a whole bunch of different sex

and shit that do different fucking crap, and it's, like... Yeah, I don't like all that shit. They're gonna have to dumb it down a lot. Yeah, yeah. Well, look, there's parts of the... If you try to show the big thing, then you get lost. Yeah.

Like, again, that's a setting. You don't need to know, like, all of Middle Earth. you don't need to know like all of middle earth you don't need to know the cimmerillion to know about that that when theoden rides down that fucking hill it's badass and be entertained by and everybody who read the books are still like happy because yeah he did ride down that hill he did the speech too yeah like everybody's happy there so like don't try to show the whole fucking thing. One battlefield, one war, one battle. This is the commissar. He's got to, like, quip the...

That's all you could... He could be a commissar trying to keep Imperial soldiers in line, and they're always trying to, like... And he has to... Commissars often have to execute their guys. It's, like, always forward, you know, kind of thing. Any cowardice, anybody talking shit about the Emperor, you're getting one. Like,'s like a lot of the like if they do it if they do it in the grand

scale they're gonna fuck it like that new lord of the rings shows just to grand scale and you don't get to know any of the characters then you look at like what's that what's uh band of brothers like easy company shit like that just focuses on one bunch of motherfuckers being bad asses and it's like that's it you don't need to know what you don't need to know the consistency of hitler's shit on june 16th like yeah yeah because you're just following fucking ox and the gang and yeah yeah and it's like simple it's like yeah they're fucking the dudes with the mustaches like cunts let's kill them it's really interesting and like like this is another layer of nerdiness but i'm curious like are they going to show the emperor of mankind on screen like if so like when he's alive will he be alive or are they doing before he went down

because uh like in the lore he's like he's been sitting there like all crippled and decrepit for 10 000 years he hasn't moved a muscle he's like rotting away in a chair using his his like super powerful mind to hold everything together oh so he's been dead for away in a chair using his his like super powerful mind to hold everything together oh so he's been dead for a long time like 10 000 years and they haven't even and his bones are still there and everything he fights something or so fairly recent so well that's the horus heresy he fought horus, and he was grievously injured. Then he, like, boop, vaporizes Horus with his mind, and then he's like, rush me back to the fucking golden throne

and stick me in there, and he's holding the warp together. He's keeping that tear in the universe from opening up and basically hell spilling onto Earth itself with his mind sitting there, and they have to sacrifice 10 000 psychics every day inside this machine and like take their psychic energy and pump it through him into the golden throne which is a giant mechanism that helps him like hold all that shit together it happens every day and uh it has for 10 000 years now they're gonna run out of psychics they don't because there's a they've got a million planets and and like there's a whole industry of ships that are and and people who are just

always rounding them up you could do a story like that that's just about some poor guy in a village on some medieval world that the imperial imperium owns he he starts showing the signs of being a witch they call him a witch they're gonna burn him and then space marines land and they're like he's coming with us and like fly him away and like the journey back to terror would be so horrific he'd just be in a dark hole like people shitting and piss it'd be like uh it's awful horrific journey back to and then it's just to get sacrificed because they don't care about him because he's just going to be in the he's fuel grinder yeah no you it would be really easy to pretend not to be psychic they'd just be like what am i thinking you'd be like i don't have a clue ah it's more than that it'd be like you know you'd

like it'd be like you like picked up a cup of water one day and it it'd like turn to blood or something like like some crazy shit would have happened and the real problem is that this always has like that religious sort of like background shit to it like that's like a crazy like it's just like this eldritch fucking religion shit that's really fucking dope. The problem is telekinetic powers and stuff. They have psychic powers that are fueled by a hell dimension and through the

amateurish use of those powers, they can accidentally open a portal to hell through which demons will spill in like a plague and a virus and they'll destroy an entire planet before anyone can do anything about it. 10,000 might not be enough a day. Are they getting all that you get?

You didn't mention that all of these guys were like hell-spawn kamikazes, potentially. Yeah, yeah. They can't control their powers, so they'll just melt down, open a hell dimension, and literally the devil will come through and infect the whole planet with his devilry. No through is there anywhere that's the whole planet it's like wait it's like no there's nowhere that's good there's gotta know what's the best place what's the the best the nicest place i can't think of a good place i can't think of a life like there are some there are some stories about like aristocrats like the richest of the rich on

some of these worlds and how they kind of live in a nice place and have anything they want but those stories are usually told to punctuate how then things changed and their planet was cast down and like the skies turned black and the the rain turned to acid are there worlds with like normal like are there worlds where it's like we can like you can go out to eat? Yeah. They have movies and stuff. It's not all battle and hell all the time. Well, it's all battle and hell all the time. But you could easily just be an accountant on a world. But your world pays.

You're accounting. So you could be the coolest guy in the world. Yeah. You could be an accountant. They're sort of the space marines of the Warhammer 40k universe. Honestly,

you guys are pulling me back into this conversation. Ah, yes. I knew they'd get it. Snuff Warhammer 40k. I got something Woody Will like. A little bit of UFC talk. I want to circle back to Paddy Pimblitt and his robbery of a decision.

Those who don't know, Paddy Pimblitt is a... Popular. Is a very popular, maybe top three or four most popular UFC fighters in the world right now as far as drawing fans to a place to look at them do their thing. He's 28 years

old. He's blonde blonde bowl-cutted goofy looking and he has one of those disgusting liverpool accents i'm guessing that region you it doesn't matter if i missed it by three miles you cocksuckers oh it's a suffolk accent, you fool! Are you in North East West Liverpool? I'm from South Omptonshire. We live fucking 500 yards. That bloody goosery misjudged us! What are you even saying, you crazy cunt?

You've got that crazy accent and you live 500 yards that way! 500 metres, rather. I understand that fucking dog. He just comes around here, tippity-po-boo-bah. Like watching the Ricky Gervais show where Ricky's like, Carl, what are you even saying, mate? And it's like, I look where they're from, and it's like, Ricky, you could, like, meet where they're from and it's like ricky you could like

meet carl for lunch where he's from like what the fuck are these people's voices anyway you guys ever had a boy before yeah so he had a big fight this this weekend he was the uh the the co-main event i believe and look me and my friends all watched it in the Discord. And I like Patty. I wanted him to win, but we were all like, ah, he lost that one. I scored it three rounds to none against Patty. I could see you making it two rounds to one. And that is where I think 24 out of 25 of the MMA media members

who put their scores forward that night landed. Either three rounds against Patty or two rounds against Patty. Either way, only one person in the fucking world on the internet thought that Patty won, that his voice mattered. But the judges thought he had won, and it was just really foul. So the problem is this. Dana White, the owner, like president of the ufc is standing there ringside with day portnoy day portnoy run the guy who runs the biggest sports

book in the united states and day portnoy is wearing his patty pimblitt wig he sponsors patty pimblitt over it's a it's a multi-million dollar deal that he has with patty pimblitt he's a barstool sports athlete or whatever that means and he's sitting and so these two are sitting there the the the thing gets read out ah patty pimblitt three rounds to none whatever they say and dana white looks at portnoy he's like yeah that's about right and it's just like what the fuck is happening here it was such a robbery and so we we kind of recovered from that it it seemed dirty that seemed like did he did he win yeah yeah yeah they gave him the fight they gave him the fight they they the decision went his way and everybody i haven't had the chance to watch it i'll have to watch it and uh and say very one round round one is very one-sided patty got beaten the shit out of him uh round

three he got controlled for like four out of five minutes up against the fence being completely controlled round two you could go i could see some people scoring it for patty but i didn't i didn't i felt like patty's patty has no defense and the other guy does the other guy's covering up when patty's like throwing his throwing his combos and coming out with that left and it's going pop pop pop and it's like holy shit he caught all those he catched a bit like that who's that fucking that chick that was real big for a little while yeah he finds like ronda rousey yeah man he just runs forward and eats punches and then just a little bit and and i think that like a lot of people i just learned and i i watch a lot of mma stuff i didn't realize patty was 28 years old i didn't realize he was a

guy closer to the end of his career than the beginning of his career maybe the peak yeah he's at the peak of his career for sure um well all right he's at the peak of his career for sure. Well, all right. He's at the peak of his career as far as his climb up the rankings. There's this moment in a movie called Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger where the guy gets beat and he's like, you've been weighed, you've been measured, and you've been found wanting. And that's what's happened here. He's been weighed and measured. He's been found wanting as far as top 10,

maybe even top 15 competition is concerned. You got to really look and pick to find the guy in the top 15 that patty pimbled can beat don't pick that guy he'll take patty down oh don't pick that guy i'll knock him the fuck out yeah that guy with the gimpy leg him you gotta do that but but but it doesn't matter because who the fuck wants to be the champion of the UFC? When you're the champion, everybody wants to hurt you. And not just everybody, the scariest people in the world who can weigh what you weigh want to hurt you. Paddy Pimblitt, if he can just keep beating up guys who are just about his skill level or a little below it,

God, the fans love it. Nobody in the audience gives a shit if he's beating up a a tomato can or whatever you want to call it i saw you mentioned like he's like affiliated with dave portnoy and all that yeah like a bar stool i saw a clip from like dave portnoy talking about it and he was straight up he's like the third round of that fight was the worst least entertaining round of a fight i've ever seen in my life they just hugged each other the whole time i don't think anybody got hit like he's right and he's like like and it was and it was and that's what when dana white was kind of had this question pointed to him, they want Dana White to go off on the judging.

And what Dana did instead, at least as far as the Pimblitt fight was concerned, he pivoted in a really interesting way. He blamed the fighter who lost. He blamed Gordon. He said, I don't know what that guy's game plan was. What, you think you're up two rounds to none, huh? So what, you're going to go out there and lay on the guy for a whole round play it safe turns out you weren't ahead turns out you were way behind you should have went out there and fought hard and he's got a point that's good

framing that's good framing but the real issue dana is not just that the the that we had this crazy decision tonight it's that we had that crazy crazy decision and your last thing was sugar sean o'malley losing to to to jan and i hate fucking russians just on general principle but jan won that goddamn fight then after the patty pimblitt fight and that's another instance of a big time flashy young ufc kid you know he's the guy with the crazy hair and the tattoos and everything winning a fight he didn't win according to judges then right after patty pimblitt um wins quote unquote his fight they had the main event of the evening the i don't know what you call it when the belt is up for grabs because the champ had to give up the belt but there are two men fighting for there is a vacant title fight and the two best fighters at 205 pounds are fighting to decide who gets the belt who is the

champion now neither of them currently have a belt again they're like the number two and number three guys not exactly but you get my point they have a real snooze fest of a fight i don't know if it was bad because we were traumatized after the patty thing but it was awful i can't i can't tell you what happened i remember there was a lot of boring shit, and then the Russian took him down and laid on him for a while. There wasn't a lot of good striking. It seemed like the Polish guy wasn't great at his takedown defense, and I was just bored.

And I think somebody in the thing was like, man, this is a pretty boring fight. And I was like, yeah, I hate to say it, but this isn't the kind of ground fighting that I find interesting. It not dynamic it seems like it's meant to really just kill time and i didn't like it but it was a bad fight the decision comes down and again this is a five round fight earlier we talked about a three round fight it's even more difficult with judging when there are five rounds being judged they give it they say it's a split decision a split draw and we didn't know what that was i didn't know what that was i watched a lot of ufc but i didn't know what that was

and i had to really start thinking about it and i was like wait so they disagreed but they came to the same decision and that didn't make sense at first but it's like oh that means that one of the judges thought it was a fucking tie. And then another judge thought that guy A won and another guy thought that guy B won. And that adds up to a split draw. And so they don't know what to do with the fucking belt. So they both walk away literally crying and concussed. And what and the poor Russian guy again, I hate Russians on general fucking principle, especially this Dagestani crooked-nosed chin-beard cock. I hate them. I like them.

Just because of that complete guy. But, no, I got other things. Oh, okay. But that big Igor cocksucker won that fight, and he clearly won the fight, and they didn't give it to him and you know he's worked his whole goddamn life to get there and do that thing and then the poor son of a bitch talk tells his translator i don't want to fight here anymore if that's what the if that's what it's

like what he means is i don't want to fight i think they're in vegas i'm not sure but i think i'm almost positive they're in vegas what he means is i don't want to fight in las vegas and deal with these kind of judges the translator says i don't want to fight in Las Vegas and deal with these kind of judges. The translator says, I don't want to fight in the UFC anymore. If it's going to be like this, Dana, Dana white gets on his phone and Ken says, looks like,

uh, we need two different guys to fight for the belt. And, uh, in Rio, we're going to make it, um, um,

Glover toixeira versus Jamal Harris, I think. Jamal something or another. They'll fight for the belt before Igor can get out of the fucking ring. And I'm not saying it's because of the mistranslation, but that didn't fucking help. He made that deal on the phone before

Igor could get his crying Russian ass to the back room and explain. Alright? It was done. Those people, Glover had been, Glover was standing there, so he just had to be whispered to, but they had called the other guy, the black gentleman, Jamal Harris, I think. I'm getting that wrong. I don't know him as a fighter.

Something like that. Zach wrote it in the chat. Oh, okay. Well, they had already called him and offered him the deal, and it was done. And Dana doesn't usually make fights on fight night or whatever. He says that repeatedly. It's sort of a meme. It was like, yeah, we're just sharing versus Jamal Hill or whatever his name is.

Like, just made it. If you go back 15 years, Dana White and reporters would, like, hash out who they should fight next. You know, like, what do you think? Should Chuck fight Tito? Yeah, I think he'd be pretty good. Yeah, I like that one. Yeah, all right. That's the next one. out who they should fight next you know like what do you think should uh truck fight tito yeah i think he'd be pretty good yeah i like that one yeah all right that's the next one just like a roman emperor at like a gladiator like it's better than you know what would fancy me there'll be a media member and he'll say uh he'll be like hey dana um

shauna malley said that that was a hell of a knockout he got out there and he's wondering could he have fifty thousand dollars as well because he said he really he banged his hand up really banged his hand up huh yeah give shawn 50k to hey mike get shauna cut shauna check for 50k yeah he asked yes nicely yeah yeah do that like he'll i'm not exaggerating like it'll be that that makes him that makes him pretty cool like there's a viewer there's there's two ways to play seventy thousand dollars as an anti-big business guy you can look at it the other way the fighters have to be in fucking line with the ufc if they ever say like you know what maybe a union the thing is when

you're a fighter i'm gonna make up numbers here but something like a third of your pay if you're a popular fighter is that contracted amount. When they say Taylor earned $250,000 in his fight, he earned another $750,000 in Dana White goodwill check. However, if you talk shit during your interviews, during the pre-fight promotion, if you're like, I hate the reebok deal all that that other 750 kiss her goodbye you know you you tell them i love the fucking reebok deal i think it's venom nowers yeah you know so you have to be a company man to get the other two thirds of your pay i feel like a lot of people hate on that day because like i've seen a few times where people have gotten up and been like you fuck this like this sucks and we're getting treated like shit so maybe they're sort of getting to the point where they've had enough but it feels like they get oh they can have enough get the fuck out he'll throw in gano out in the street he don't care like the heavyweight champion of the world he's like oh you

want more money do you uh-huh i got like three guys that could that are better than you at at numbers and maybe at fighting. Not really sure. Stipe's out there getting humongous. Jon Jones has been bulking for three goddamn years and juicing. You think you're still the baddest man in the world? I don't know. I'm not so sure anymore.

I'm not going to pay you. It's so popular. He could pretty much just go to a fucking arena, sell tickets, have no card, and then just pick random cunts from the crowd to punch on, and people would love it. I'd love that. People would like that. I would love that. I love fights.

I love watching fights. It's so interesting. There's nothing more compelling than a fight. It could be two hockey players. It could be two idiots at the bar. It could be two UFC fighters for a title. If somebody's fighting fighting you have my attention woody have you heard of uh like i saw this because i followed dave portnoy on twitter

like they do they have like barstool has like their own boxing like fighting thing called rough and rowdy but it is like the kind of shit the like we would put together if we did it where it's it's literally like i just went to their site i'll put it in here the placard is a midget fight like the you can go to like see like the highlights and it'll just be like there's there's no there's no weight classes not only is it a boy it's not just a midget only is it a midget fight, it's not just a midget fight. It's a midget getting beaten by another midget. Oh, yeah. World's strongest dwarf fights former WWE star.

Yeah. World's strongest dwarf. And there's no weight classes. There's one here that just says, tiny hero fights monster man to impress ring girls. Boxer farts in the ring and makes everyone sick. Highlighted video. College girls brawl.

But there's stuff just like this. Hillbilly fights young wrestling champ. Lawyer thinks he can fight. Convict fights frat boy. It's this guy to match me. Self-proclaimed superhero. Acne-covered lumberjack. Ac acne-covered lumberjack. Acne-covered lumberjack.

I didn't know that existed. I'll have to look it up. I love those. Wait, you guys seen those ones where they're just, like, in a wood-paling fence? Those fights? They're just, like, these backyard, like, bare-knuckle fucking boxing hillbilly fights? That's where people like Corey Masvidal started out.

I fucking love that shit. That's, like, my favorite fucking short form videos is just watching those motherfuckers bashing each other's heads in. They're pretty professional with it. Some of them are like, they've got like cages built sometimes. I got distracted by that,

like rough and rowdy bra thing. Commentators are doing a play by play of the fart that lasts a couple of minutes and they go to the girls they're theorizing like did he shit himself no no no i watched the whole thing happen he beat that guy's ass and then he blew his own ass they're fun the commentators are dave portnoy and big cat from really so they're very good at the real deal they don't know anything about fighting so like the highlights of it i've

seen they'll be like oh good god man neither of these guys really skilled at all like oh man this is oh this is a punishment for everyone involved, isn't it? Hopefully. It's very, very funny. You guys notice that there's, like, this massive trend of, like, content creators getting into boxing? Like, you've got, like, obviously this. No, no, not the big ones, like the Paul Brothers and, like, KSO and shit like that. But there's a lot of other people organizing, like, little ones so i was watching like uh i was watching like youtube the other day

and you know you know that little motherfucker that uh that makes like crazy inventions and shit he'll be like oh i built my own fucking x-ray machine and it's it's it's quite funny but he's just like this this tiny little nerd and then they just had like heaps of cunts like him from youtube just having box-ons and they're fucking gold like these these cunts are just wailing on each other and they just fucking suck at boxing so they're just like blind haymakers and just bashing each other in the face but it's fucking entertaining i enjoy this it's popular for a reason like yeah like i watched i didn't pay for it but i watched harley's fight on youtube for free afterward that like i watched the sam hyde fight i saw uh uh fuck brandon

buckingham uh ice poseidon i watched their oh how'd that go down did brandon smash him he did brandon did smash him yeah uh yeah you guys like i did a thing that uh australian youtuber where he just like uh he makes weird shit as well but he had one and he just he wailed on this cunt and he was like trying to get the ref to call it off he was like man this guy's fucked the shit out of me it was fucking awesome i saw that uh ludwigwig did chess boxing, where you play each other in chess, and then you box, and then you play in chess again, and then you box again,

which seems like you really limit your pool there for people. I'm not that good at either of those things. Yeah, true. That might be a good starting point, though. Like your past was both of them. Yeah. Look, good starting point, though. Like, you're past both of them. Yeah. Look, you take an average YouTuber. You've got to be good at one of them.

Yeah. All right. You don't go to a chess boxing match if you're bad at chess and boxing. It's so necessary to, like, be confident in one of those things. It's not like the recruiting from like the chess boxing fields of your of lore i i just think that like a lot of guys getting into this yeah a lot of these guys change up the chess like i'm happy to wail on someone can we just like change it up to like 1v1 modern warfare 2 nuke towns in between or some shit like that yeah we could do that

boxing anything anything yeah and you can we could do that do boxing anything anything yeah and you can we could do boxing and then like a fucking uh mike tyson's knockout game on the i would love i would love boxing debate where you have to box and then you have like like a three minute like statement and then the other person gets rebuttal but you don't know what the topic is or what position you're gonna have to argue in favor or against and it's always a fucked up topic that's just like really uh really controversial it's like tonight we've we've got kyle versus taylor and they'll be debating abortion yeah they both love it. No, I like it more. Have you seen the SNL

Weekend Update bit where there's a black guy and a white guy, I don't know their names, but the bit is that they write each other's jokes and that they have to read them then. I haven't seen that, no. Oh, it's hilarious. It's not normal, is it?

No, it's new. New SN not Norman McDonald, is it? No, no, no. It's new. Like, new SNL. So the black guy is pretty much always writing a really, really racist thing for the white guy to say. I can't remember who he wanted to play. Oh, he was talking about how in the new black Superman movie, the new black

Superman movie made sense because the character grew up without a father. And then he went on to say in the new black Superman, he'll be the man of steel spelled s-t-a-l just like one after another these really awful racist jokes of something about like oh there was one about yeah there's some rosa parks riffs like some mean shit that you they they preface the whole thing by saying we're about to do a little bit where we write each other's jokes and uh we don't want anybody to get offended or up too upset um and nobody wants to get canceled here so let's have some fun and then they start because

they're some rough ass jokes sucks i have to do shit like that now sorry we're just trying to laugh and have a little fun don't one of the jokes is like one of the jokes reads like this he's like the white guy's like i just want to take this time to point out that i'm not going to read the next joke because the card is being held by a black man and that was the joke he was reading sucks that every fucking comedian does that these days. Like, I went and saw Jimmy Carr, and he was like, all right, we're doing this tour. This is the I hope I don't get canceled tour. And he did a spiel at the start.

And I remember him being on television, and he was like, hey, do you know how to save Africa? We're going gonna get mosquito nets so the mosquitoes stop getting aids and like that was his like his joke was about like he was he was out and yeah he's like that's like the most offensive joke you can possibly think of and he's just saying that on telly and that was like 10 years ago and now he's got a fucking comedy show where he has a 20 minute preface about how he doesn't want to get fucking cancelled it's like ah man it's it's it's meant to be a joke like we

all came here to see a fucking comedian dude you see how chapelle's losing like a bunch of his white fans because of this thing i see him getting shit on on twitter like like now they're really mad because he like had uh why are people shooting come on stage. What are you talking about? They've been trying to cancel Chappelle for a long, long time with the trans. He's hard to cancel. Oh, wait,

wait. Didn't something happen at like a Chappelle concert with Elon Musk? I didn't. Well, most recently, he had must come on stage for some unknown reason. He was like, ladies and gentlemen,

the richest man in the world. And they were like, what do you expect? They man in the world. And they were like, boo! It was like, what do you expect? They're in San Francisco. Jesus Christ. There were literally people in the audience that he fired at Twitter. It's possible.

What if that was the whole bit? Raise your hand if you worked at Twitter. Well, welcome our next guest. wish you had done that that'd be funny yeah yeah yeah that would have been funnier yeah it would have been even better if there's like best heck who gets their job back that's what that's their job bag yeah no i don't think it would have went well because i would be great, they just got banned. My favorite Chappelle thing is when he talks about living amongst the poor whites.

Poor whites? Yeah, I've never heard anyone say that before. He's like, but I live amongst the poor whites, so I knew better. Where does he live? He lives in like Ohio or something, right? I have Ohio in my head yeah yeah like middle america somewhere and he was a growing up in high school like watching his show

that was that shit was just the fucking best like oh yeah he was he was just so fucking good those dvds came out when i was graduating high school so it was was pretty prime time for me. I loved the Chappelle show. Super into it. I loved him so much that when Key and Peele came out, I refused to even look. I didn't know Key and Peele were good for years. You're not Dex Chappelle!

Stand where he stood! I'm like, one sketch He was Rick James! He was Rick James! The two of you can't fill his shoes together! You little bitches! And then, like, one day I caught, like, a YouTube video, and I was like, holy shit, it was the bitch!

Like, I caught that one, and I was like, oh, shit, they're funny. I love the camp here one where they're on the plane, and it's just like, we're about to squanch that dog. It's like, I hope no Taz's come up in here. Oh, you gotta be ready to fire border Terry. Yeah, that shit's so fucking funny. I have not seen much Ken Peele. I've seen the bitch one.

You gotta rax them splaxed. Yeah, that shit's fucking ghost. It's too bad Trevor Moore died, or Whitest Kids You Know could still be going RIP. They were right in the middle of a project. Yeah. Yeah, they were. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, a little known fact, they're actually on a project about Epstein's Island. Oh. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Yeah. Do-do-do. Who knows what happens. A horror movie.

X-Files for all you children. A horror movie. A horror movie. Isn't that the X-Files? A horror movie about Epstein. Yeah, a horror movie about Epstein yeah a horror movie about Epstein from the perspective of a child but not

Epstein, a reanimated Epstein ah Frank Epstein that'd be a good one have you guys seen how like Winnie the Pooh went into like public cards I don't know why I said Franken is dracula that doesn't make any sense

have you guys seen how like winnie the pooh went into like uh whatever you call it once it's no longer copyrighted like it's uh open for years for years yeah and so now people are making like horror movies of uh public realm in the poo it's uh yeah public realm yeah um yeah so some some motherfuckers making a winnie the pooh horror movie where it's like fucked up like uh winnie the pooh hunting people like gore fest oh it's chris is christopher robin and tigger gonna be there i i believe so. There's like two of the main characters. Wow. Is that Piglet? I want to fill you up with honey.

What the fuck does poo sound like? Like that. Oh, bother. Eeyore was my favorite. Eeyore's like, I'm gonna kill myself and everyone else in the forest. I'm gonna commit a murder, murder, murder, murder, murder

suicide. Take everyone with them. Because that's what they don't show in their show, is all the ways that they, like, Pooh would be having to get together and they wouldn't invite Eeyore. You remember all that? You remember that happening? Piglet would come over and Pooh would invite him and Tigger would be there. And

then like halfway through the episode, they think to go say hi to Eeyore. I think Christopher Robin was being molested in real life and those animals were just a figment of his imagination to deal with the trauma. Maybe Christopher Robin was getting molested in the fantasy

world and that's why Pooh didn't wear pants. Yeah, his friend was a shirt. I'm escaped to a fantasy land! Big mistake! The honeypots are all just allegories for Christopher's fucking arsehole who's going in there.

Oh, nothing makes me hungrier than honey! I love honey and seven-year-olds seven-year-old whatever i sound like but yeah that's a horrid way to think about winnie the pooh but we also don't know like they're just sitting there and they're just like hey you want to invite eeyore and he's like oh man i'm so sick of that depressed fuck like he just like we've tried to help him so many fucking times like

we gave him like a free gym membership and got him got him seen a psychic a psychiatrist he's just so i'm so sick of that motherfucker like let's fucking cut him off they've probably like done like sketches before where it's like you know piglet being like poo we're worried about the amount of honey you're consuming like shut up piglet you like it's like there's no reason for that poo like that speaking of morbidly honeyholic people speaking of what people morbidly obese people. Speaking of what people? Morbidly obese people. Where is this going? Are we talking about me?

No, morbidly obese. Like you're so obese you're spooky. Like who? Anybody in particular you think? I can't think of anybody. I was thinking about Brendan Fraser's movie The Whale actually. It did incredibly well apparently at, at all the festivals. And I think now it's heading to theaters.

It's one of those A24 movies that are kind of niche and really well made. And I watched the trailer today, or at least maybe two minutes of it or something. Oh, it's going to be a sad one. Oh, it's going to be a sad one. I don't know. Brendan Fraser gets way too much fucking love on the internet uh it doesn't make any sense you you lost on robin williams it's gonna be a he's absolutely bitch made if that director had reached around and squeezed my taint i'd be over it by the time he was smelling his fingers but not playing in the razor, no. Whoa, it's me. Takes the next fucking 10 years off

to get over the mental trauma. He was blacklisted for speaking out. Ah, what a dick. He should have made some more films. I'm pretty sure the blacklisted part is true, though. He complained about his sexual assault and nobody fucking put him in a movie. He got back in the movies, man.

They just replaced him with the fucking rock. They replaced him with the fucking rock in everything, bro. He got rockified, bro. How the fuck is he supposed to act? Yeah, he was the first victim of the rockifying. And no one cared because he was a guy trying to do Me Too in 1997, right? But he has this new movie where he plays a morbidly obese man. He's enormous. And he was in this huge fat suit the whole time.

He is a hefty guy these days, but he is in an incredibly large prosthetic suit. He looks like a 600 pound man, I would say. And he's it's it's a story about him reconnecting with his daughter. And it looks very, very emotional. And I don't know if I'm going to watch it because I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry. I cry at the stupid Warhammer shit I watch and read. If I watch a Brendan Fraser movie, I'm going to have a mental breakdown.

I'm over here crying. I already feel sad just thinking about Brendan Fraser. I don't know what I'm going to do. Woody's going to watch the movie just fucking popcorn popcorn yeah yeah wait till the rock comes and molests you and then replaces you on pk woody motherfucker please they can molest me just buy me dinner first we can get the rock can you get the rock

can you imagine like how can you imagine how quickly his career would come down like the house i wish i knew taking random shit that the three of us had said and like playing it next to him like like standing in jurassic park or whatever the fuck movies he's in hilarious like like if i just had a video if i just had a video of the rock like molesting puppies or something and i could be like hey man i'm gonna need you for four four hours a week thursdays seven to eleven see you there don't be square and he was just he was just here every week inexplicably and we didn't even say shit we didn't even mention it what do you think about

what do you think about all this uh sissification in Hollywood right uh I certainly wouldn't call it like he has to play it straight he has to still like try to keep his Hollywood career I certainly wouldn't call it that he has to play it straight he has to still like try to keep his hollywood career i certainly wouldn't call it that kyle i i think that that's very offensive there he'd like like to give his political aunt but he kept i always i always love those like uh oh i want to live in that alternate universe when they're um when they're like juxtaposed by a guy you ever seen like uh kimmy rocketing like the f1 racer when he like they'll they'll ask like they asked lewis Lewis Hamilton a question. There was an interview and they're like,

so why don't you think there's any female drivers in the F1 to Lewis Hamilton? And he gives this fucking big political answer and he's just like, this whole rambling diatribe about opportunities and women and stuff like that. And then Kimi Raikkonen is just like, it's because they're not fast enough.

He's just like, they're not good enough. They can't keep up. He's just like, fucking... I mean, he's just... That guy's got somewhere to be, and he's going to be... Yeah, yeah. I'm out of here. I'm going to take him back to my yacht. Why do they have a men's...

Didn't he crash out at a race, and instead of going back to, like, the pit, he just walked over to his yacht? Oh, yeah, the engine failed at Monaco, so he just put up on the side of the road, and then just, like, went down the docks to his engine engine failed at monaco so he just put up on the side of the road and they just like jumped went down the docks to his private yacht and they just started drinking up the fence and went to his yacht and just started chilling is it a story about him that someone told me once and i don't know if it's 100 true but apparently

he got into a fight with his co-driver during the world rally championships and he was like his his navigator was just being a rally championships and he was like his his navigator was just being a fuckhead and he's like fuck you you don't do anything man all you do is read from a piece of paper and he's like well fuck you i'm not coming then and so he's like fuck it i'll just drive without one and then he found out that he couldn't race without a co-driver so he just paid up we apparently paid a homeless man to just sit the seat no really no yeah someone tell me i don't know if it's true but there's someone tell me this you've seen them give the commands though like like those commands aren't like and you got a left coming up and then a squiggly after that it's not that it's it's like

slow it down to three quarters heartbreak heartbreak and a shifty l shifty l are coming out to it or so hard to the right you mean it's not there's so much terminology and like well it depends as well because like those those like courses like they have access to those courses before that so he could go there and practice that with the hobo no no no not with the fucking hobo but like if he goes there and practices it and then remembers the track, he doesn't need the call-out. But that's a different thing than hiring a hobo. I'll buy that, that you can memorize the track.

But don't buy that you can hire a hobo to read that thing out appropriately. No, no, no. You don't need to read it. You just put the motherfucker in the seat so he can race, and then you just race. Having a co-driver at all seems a little... You just need a human in a seat. Yeah, you just need a human in a seat. Why do you need a co-driver at all you just needed a seat you just need a human in a seat yeah you just did the human in the seat now i understand yeah okay yeah but why do you need a co-driver like

they get still rules uh they need white in the car that is the yeah so you gotta have it you do cheating i thought it was to like make the speeds faster so it's more exciting or something i don't know no no well they're meant to help but apparently he is like apparently he was like i don't need that fuck you so i i saw the i don't know what kind of racing it was but i saw the guy like getting mud continuously blasted on him and he's got those tearaway film things on his mask and he's literally he's racing like crazy but he's going like continuously tearing him off because because every literally every second second and a half he's getting splashed with full red mud so he's constantly fucking doesn't he run out he

he seemingly had an infinite amount of he was tearing him off with reckless abandon you have like a pack they like you get like a pack of like 50 and they like stick to your helmet and you can just keep pulling them off it's like a layer after layer oh he can reload then okay yeah no no no he just has like yeah yeah we used to wear them on race go karts because you'd have like days where the rain would like hit your visor and it would be like muddy rain and so you'd pull it off be a bad idea for you would you just like yeah i was can you leave them in the woods or is it like trash i mean they're trash so i mean there's probably some biodegradable ones i wouldn't like ride around in the bush and just

like start pulling them off a bit of a cunt move but yeah i'm looking to not be a cunt so it's funny on the east coast well plastic it's funny on the east coast well plastic's different but on the east coast if you put like paper on the ground or something it's gone in a couple 18 months i don't know six months like it just disappears and turns to dirt or something i don't know what happens yeah out here like a death valley this shit lasts forever like if you put a p i think a hundred years from now it'll still be there like it just it just doesn't go away if you poop in the woods and bury your

toilet paper they'll dig that up in a quarter million years and be like yeah what would make it go away it's not wet here it's not it's calcified now this guy wasn't very healthy if anything I think this guy wasn't very healthy anything i think this guy

i pooped in the woods uh dude so i hadn't seen anyone in days right except for the egg at the hotel but on these trails nobody anywhere and i'm i'm like an hour and a half into my ride and i have to poop it only happened one time on the whole trip and i was like you know sucks i'm i'm like an hour and a half into my ride and i have to poop it only happened one time on the whole trip and i was like you know sucks i'm not gonna be anywhere for 10 hours so the situation is not going to improve yet i have some like one white charlie's with me uh just in case right you know just in case i'm like cool cool i pull over two motorcyclists and a pickup truck come by i'm wearing like high-vis yellow i'm looking like a fucking construction worker

everybody's looking like motherfucker like what why they're like you okay i'm fine were you mid shit or not quite They're asking if you're okay. Yeah, like if I had a... And as they drive away, you just hear, NERD! Just be sure you can't shit here. Look at this guy. This guy's got a shit. As they drive away,

that nerd pooping. One of my streamer mates was telling me that he had a... take a shit while on an exercise in the army he did like demolitions and shit like that and so he just goes and finds a tree and then just like an entire regiment of grunts just march past him while he's just taking a shit he's just like oh it's there oh fuck he's like yeah this is all good yeah that's how it felt today and the level of privacy and isolation you have out here is just i've never experienced anything like this even on my other trips and stuff like this just so alone and uh but not when i poop i guess so you're not looking

forward to the inevitable accident that's going to make you into a cripple that happens every time you leave the house yeah that's something to worry about he'd be whenever woody's on one of these trips like like i i don't send the motorcycle crash videos that that i save on my phone like like a dream yeah well i mean i know he doesn't want to see that shit all right every time i come on here, it's like, oh, yeah. So Woody said he's fucking left not amputated from something. And it's like, what the fuck did he do now? Yeah, right? I've tried to finish this one.

I've dropped my motorcycle on my foot a couple of times now, like three or four. And I think it's a good thing I brought the upgraded boots. My boots are hardcore yeah you're gonna like uh get into just like something like as silly as just fire at some point like you're gonna get into melting things or fire or right i thought my new hobby is electricity i have you know like god just electrocutes himself i think that's one of charlie's fucking hobbies like is interesting jelly beans electricity and who's charlie charlie from sunny okay always um so are you gonna make it home for christmas yes yeah i'm

targeting the 21st to get home so you knocked out all your shopping very early or that'll be on the last day. I may have bought it online while I was on my trip. And I told my family I would bring them Death Valley rocks. So I literally picked up three rocks today and put them in my bag. I like to imagine you forgetting forgetting so you pick up three rocks like back in North Carolina like on your way in the house you're like

there's a nice one there oh guys I didn't realize how similar it'd be to North Carolina what are your kids sitting in college like 30 years later and they're just like chunk of asphalt holding this rock and they're like this this rock it means everything to me my dad when he was so adventurous and and it really gives me the spirit to you know adventure and then you're like you're

just like laughing about it you're like yeah like there's a lot of paint on it that's also a fucking lie it's half full of yellow paint you see part of a yield painted onto the there was someone maybe it was some person in europe i don't remember but like they had been they had purchased a moon rock like from NASA or something like a super long time ago. And then like it turned and they've been like telling people forever, you know, and like handed it down. And it turned out like it was tested, not a moon rock, just a rock. So that was a gift from the United States to and to a foreign nation. I don't remember which. And yeah, they were they were they were like and to you we bestow

a moon rock from the people who have them and they were like holy shit thank you poland will cherish this moon rock forever and then i guess they tested it a few years ago and it's petrified wood or some shit what a douchebags who was the president that went over or did they not have any moon rocks to give because they never went it was it was a president went over to poland in the 70s and he said something and it was like a mistranslation translation and it came out as like i uh i've left the united states forever and i'm here to fornicate it was pretty much yeah it's like i'm i'm here i'm staying and i'm here to fuck yeah who was that like nixon uh it might have been carter i'm here i think it was carter yeah it's harder car and it

literally translated to as exactly as you said it like i'm staying and i'm here to fuck like little jimmy carter saying that yeah and and polish i guess oh man jimmy carter little jimmy carter's running around not a scary president no not the kind of president that inspired fear real fucking loser if you ask uh me i keep building those houses you piece of shit can you imagine if we had like a one-eyed president like some sort of wasn't he from georgia yeah georgians hate him huh they're still not over i mean like come on i don't know about georgians we didn't take a poll or anything but i just think when you lose when you lose fucking iran and it's it's been a quagmire ever since like that's your fucking mark on the presidency if you ask me i don't care what kind of trade deals you've set out i don't care if you had some aids

fucking organization i don't care that you sold your peanut farm to avoid it it looking like there might be any impropriety there impropriety i don't care about that you lost iran and that's kind of he like do the iran deal make it okay and they waited until reagan became president to make him look bad is that make that up i thought i heard that i thought that was true became president to make him look bad is that make that up i thought i heard that i thought that was true well there was the whole meltdown where they stormed the embassy right like that was losing me it was like upsetting the the whole thing with the shah it was that that ended that scene on the global stage of america being ran out and embarrassed and us having was that when we had to dump the choppers in the ocean off the aircraft carriers to be enough room to get our people out biden just had another fucking

refresher of the same goddamn image of our people being lifted out of an embassy in a goddamn helicopter ran out of another country like it's a bad look optics matter like like when you walk out in the ufc it matters how you walk it matters what your hair looks like what your face looks like it matters if you sound like you mean what you say. On the national and the global stage, I got ran out of a country by sand people. How the fuck did that happen? We should have waltzed out of there and then doubled back

and did one of these. That's how you leave. That's how you leave. You walk out and you double back. What, fucker? You don't think we'll come back, drop another trillion on you, fuckers? That should have been like that. No, the way we leave conflicts is like, oh, yeah, yeah.

We really wanted to win. Uh-huh. Right. You tell yourself that. You tell yourself that we were so invested in winning Vietnam. To me, all the one-term presidents are kind of scarred. I look at Bush Sr., Carter, and Trump as the ones in my lifetime. If you got voted out after your first term, people thought you suck.

You know that guy in Moana that's just like, you're welcome. They just slide out of the place. That's how Americans leave a country. You're welcome. just rubble destruction enjoy all the radioactive material we left behind yeah it's literally like like a team america world police ended up being more correct than they could have ever imagined is that a documentary? It's a puppet documentary.

The US military is so fucking cool though. You gotta stop. Every now and then you need to stop and think about it. You see this huge war that's going on over there it just pales in comparison to the cool shit we have. I love the depleted uranium ammunition. They shoot it because it's so dense. It's something like 40 percent

denser than lead and they're irradiating everything they fucking shoot they're and they're not they're not you might think uh but they're loading those in carefully one at a time those are sniper rounds no they shoot them out of a 30 millimeter machine gun. It's a Vulcan machine gun in a plane. It goes and it shoots as many as it can. They don't even return with ammo. They're like, get rid of that. It's heavy. So they're shooting a ton of irradiated uranium.

They shoot uranium bullets. Who does? Are we doing it in Ukraine? We're not shooting any bullets. Didn't they stop doing that shit in the gulf wall though because like heaps of people ended up like sick and shit um i the the depleted uranium rounds i'm thinking of are coming out of the um like the apache and the uh uh the the um the the burr fucking plane the what we call it the warththog. Can't we make a harder bullet without fucking up shit with radiation?

Well, it's... First of all, it seems like we could get that done. First of all, why are you worried about it? Because it's not like we're shooting them in Minnesota or Missouri or whatever silly state you're from. We're shooting them at a...

We're shooting desert folk with things so it's it's fine but yeah it's like you don't even have to care do you realize they're brown yeah you guys no i don't care what color they are it's about i'm just saying it's a desert environment they're an enemy they're led by a madman and they must be stopped with have rains of uranium. Are we the baddies? We lit up all those bombs. Yes, we are the baddies. Fucking embrace it. Let's go.

I wish we had skulls on our helmets. I wish. I wish we had skulls. I think maybe the airborne patches and then they stopped them. Yeah, they had lots of patches. And they had the Punisher masks and shit like that, and then they banned them from the military. The Punisher mask, that's too new of a thing.

That's more of a police thing. A skull, though, that's like fucking pirate shit. That's been around forever. A skull inspires fear in your enemy. I swear they banned that shit. You know enemy yeah we need to be absolutely you know what we need to send in soldiers in those glow-in-the-dark skeleton suits you know how those people you think black people are scared of magic you've never seen an arab see a skeleton man walk across doing a silly dance with an m60 machine gun they

they tuck tell and run i guarantee it i guarantee it even the ruskies america ramp up in russia just so i can see how it goes like i don't want to be involved in it i just want to view it from my armchair but i want to see if they just like desert storm those motherfuckers because like the desert storm was pretty much the same technology that like the russians are deploying in ukraine now t-72 tanks and shit like that america's like america's had like 30 years to just buy fucking trillions of dollars of more shit and i just want to see if they just fuck them up again there's a there's a roll in there just ass ripe i mean like i watched a great i watched a great youtube video the other day and it was about desert storm i've watched a bunch of them but they were like the abrams tank faced came over the hill and suddenly was up against an entire iraqi tank battalion and i'm like wait how many

how many was it and then it was like does it like a dozen or like 15 tanks and then like 25 or 30 armored vehicles and then like three or 400 iraqis and it was just like a couple of u.s abrams tanks they killed everything and never got hit the only the only the only losses that they had in desert storm were friendly fire and like crashes yeah it was it was friendly fire and and somebody drove in a ditch and like drowned like that was it yeah they destroyed them they fucking absolutely destroyed them man because we were fighting in a in a fucking uh they call it i don't know why i like to believe they call it desert storm because there was a sandstorm going on at the time but i doubt i think that was just coincidental um the storm part there was a

storm yeah but but the the optics on the american tanks there are much better than what the iraqis had the range was better too but oh is it at nighttime no um i think we have we could attack from like 200 miles and they could attack from 50 forget the numbers I'm such a fucking idiot I'm like picturing like World War 2 style like this tank like weaving and like

mowing people down I think what you want to imagine is tanks spread out maybe like 10 or 15 American tanks spread out far enough that they can see each other. And then they're supported by a bunch of, uh, armored vehicles that have like cannons on top operated by people with three or three or five guys inside.

And they're all driving together over there toward the enemy. And once they have the enemy sided, they can shoot and fire at the same time. That tank doesn't need to stop. And it's gyro stabilized. So it's moving and aiming and gunning. And I don't know what a T-72 tank's like. The only tanks I've been in were World War II tanks.

I was in that M18 tank destroyer, and I was in that maybe Sherman. The sights on those are standard sights. They look like a rifle scope or something. And aiming that thing sometimes involves cranking shit. You know? I can't imagine trying to fight against

something with that. I'm sure with the Russian tab it's better than that. Well, as the thing's moving, the barrel is sitting still. From what I've seen from this Ukrainian footage, though, I'm 100% sure that it's just like they don't have anything i don't think they have anything either i think the russians are a third

rate power but the problem is they've got all those icbms and and not just icms but but any number of nuclear um weapons delivered in various different ways we made dozens of different kinds you know everything from a suitcase bomb that that was a there was a small nuclear weapon that one man could carry into battle our backpack nuke nukes that they made to the the ones that i'm sure you've seen of an artillery piece like shooting a nuclear round like over the hill and just instantly popping over the fucking uh davy crockett's those fucking the davy crockett's yeah exactly and then all the way up to that like Czar Bomba that everybody, every YouTube video maker ever

has made a video about. Top 10 list. Oh, Tower of Abundance. World's biggest bomb, the Czar Bomber. All caps. You know, all the way up to that. So it's like, man, they could shoot some little rocket over with a tactical nuke,

or they could destroy the entire planet. I know that the U.S. just sent Patriot missiles over. And in response, the Russians, it's so funny. The Russians are like, it's like starting an argument with a kid on YouTube 10 years ago. The Americans are like, we're sending Patriot missiles to the Ukrainians. We think we need them. They need them in these advanced situations.

The Russians are like, we're going to upload a video of our ICBMs being loaded. That'll scare them. And it's like, dude, did you make a quick little video to intimidate the Americans? Because the Americans sent real missiles there and gave them to the Ukrainians. Are you going to launch that missile?

We might. Hopefully not. Hopefully not, yeah launch that missile? We might. Hopefully not. No, you won't. We will. It's fun and games until a nuke goes off. Then it's even funner. If you're like Slush, if you're in Australia or New Zealand,

I imagine you're like watching a movie on... Dude, you're solid. I imagine it's like you're watching a movie on TV with political or sociopolitical stuff. Dude, I'm the fucking... I'm like the southest of the south. Australia does have some defenses for the... They might hit your naval base. Yeah, but that's like a long fucking mile.

Australia has defense. Let's get real here. No, we have American-based missiles. I think American-based base here as well so we um and we have american uh bases in australia but that shit is so fucking far away man like yes y'all don't have any nukes to like attend with so so so north korea is in last place of all the new companies into israel last place north korea last place north koreans they don't have enough missiles to waste their Of all the new companies? We're losing to Israel? Last place North Korea. Last place North Koreans.

They don't even have enough missiles to waste. They're bitches. They wouldn't dare. I dared them to. They wouldn't. These are some made-up numbers. These are estimates for sure. Because the 280 number on China isn't right anymore.

And I know that Israel has never even admitted that they have nukes. And I think the U.S. and Russia have both spooled down a little bit more too. I think Israel had them in some of all fears, bro. It's got to be true. Well, we all know Israel has them, but it's one of those don't ask, don't tell type nuclear programs. And it's not even a nuclear program. It's a nuclear delivery. They're like,

we're disposing of them. Just really slowly. We're going to get them in the bin eventually. It's going to take us 50 years to push it over to this bin, but we're getting there. We promise. The US gave them an undisclosed number of

nuclear weapons. A long time ago. I don't know why we're such good friends with Israel. Someone – this never gets explained to me why it's in America's interest. It's a fucking huge foothold in the Middle East, and America just uses it as a launching post for any military operations they want to do in the Middle East. It just doesn't make sense. They give a fuck. America doesn't give a – they don we give a fuck about the people there they're not like yeah we support israel for like their political

beliefs they don't give a fuck about that it's a piece of land and it's a strategic piece of land so they're just like hey whatever they can do whatever the fuck they want as long as they let us keep putting fucking bombs there it gives a shit i just think they're uh traditionally not support you know like float another country so much yeah seems like we're the ones paying for the dinners and everything and it's like where's our flowers what you get what america gets is that they just have like this fucking huge piece of land where they could just put like if tomorrow america was like yeah we're gonna boast uh security in the middle east we're gonna send 20 000 troops to israel israel would be like sweet they don't care but they can't do that to like they can't just like

ring up jordan and just be like yeah we're bringing to jordan to egypt to any you can do that to anyone but then you've got to fight the cunts there whereas israel they're just like welcome you oh no not in egypt not in jordan not no i mean we have saudi arabia as our friends yeah saudi arabia we we have a ton of places well yeah but but israel is like the the number one like sort of place where they put and this makes me want to play risk you might want to play risk risk is so fun i was watching the seinfeld episode where they were playing i watched that just a couple days ago. And Newman's like

Ukraine is weak. He's like you're about to lose Ukraine. I'm coming around from the side. He's like I have forces still. Ukraine is weak. It's right for the plucking. And the guy in the subway is like I am from Ukraine.

You no talk about Ukraine like this. I take your silly body smash. The fact that they had, the most unrealistic part about that whole thing was that they had somehow managed to get that board onto a moving subway car and maintain some sort of semblance of... The most unrealistic part about that was that

anyone gave a shit about the game after 15 minutes because that game takes fucking 10 years to play online it's fast like like that's one of those there's a ton of games where when you play them online it's like oh great now there's a computer that that knows the rules so there's no card reading there's no arguments you just get your points and you know if something's like like magic the gathering is a great example like where sometimes you got to sit there and do math like oh well this repeats three times times six but that's a multiplier out and he's like i got green i got green protection you're like oh well that reduces this fuck you got a calculator and you just play online and you go it lickety split splits fits out the the result right yeah so like risk is the same way i think my uh board game board game fucking experience is just like me and all my super stoned mates trying to work out the rules and we're all just sitting there just like wait

can you do that and we're like fuck i don't know man and then it's just like my my one i don't know all the rules like retarded mate reading the fucking brawl book and he's just like actually you know so i shut the fuck up will yeah it's like shut up we're playing settlers at katana know all the rules like retarded mate reading the fucking brawl book and he's just like actually and it's like shut the fuck up will yeah it's like shut up we're playing settlers at katana it's easy as shit there's some house rules we played settlers of katana a little while ago when we were real fucked up and my brother was like me and my brother were arguing for some reason and he was it was his set of katana and i was drunk as fuck and so i was like fuck you fuck your longest road and so i plucked like the longest road pieces i got like two of them and i was drunk as fuck and so i was like fuck you fuck your longest road and so i plucked like

the longest road pieces i got like two of them and i'll just chuck them in my mouth and ate them those are just little pieces of wood man yeah a piece of wood i just ate two roads out of his katana sex also fucked up i was like this is gonna solve the argument and then he's like then he had to forfeit his longest road uh yeah because i slush He fought well, yeah, because Slash ate it. That game is so fun. It's a good combination of having some strategy in there, but also being the most stupid, simple game imaginable. I would imagine.

Kyle, Woody, have you guys played Catan? Settlers of Catan? Nah, no. Nah, I don't do that incel shit. Next time we're all together in person i'm more of a evil kenevil muscle man type dude and less of a silly card kit playing faggot so uh what do you come to come down to my man. We'll get some ketamine. We'll fuck each other.

We'll play guitar. It'll be sick. Actually, you're selling it. Okay, I bet. It'll be sick, dude. Yeah, get on the T-Stroke. If you play guitar, I'll fuck you. Yeah, first we go out back, get on the T-Stroke.

Then we go in the back, do a little one-stroke. Ketamine. We're going to start with a little tickling foreplay. I was going to say. There's tickle plates involved, right? Yeah, of course. Just for your competition to see who can get in the other's hole first. Hey there, Woody.

I want you to take a little catamine and imagine you're a little kangaroo popping your pouch. Yeah? Just climb on in there. It's nice and warm. I'm picturing the movie from Woody's eyes, seeing Slush, and they're getting darker, and Slush walking in like,

Hey, fib to you. It ain't cut of me. Oh, no. Ever heard of roofies, cunt? How are roofies? I know roofies are typically used to rape, right? Let's say you're not using them for rape. Let's say using roofies for a good time. Are they a good time?

Would it be fun for a husband and wife to take a couple roofies and watch Netflix? Roofie and chill, baby! Come on! Just ask him! Just drowning on your own spit. I can just see the Reddit thread. So I asked my wife to roofie and chill

and then she moved out. Or she would have if she could. Remove rape and roofie motivation. Are they a good time? Is it cool to be roofied? I think rape is the only part about roofies that's fun.

I mean, I think that the roofie is made. Like, it's going to knock you. Like, I imagine it's going to knock you out. Like, you won't be there to enjoy a high. You're just going to be. I think you're just out, right? They're just sleeping pills. I think you're just unconscious.

Like, you are not with it anymore. think you're just unconscious like you you are not with it anymore so you're not having fun i wouldn't imagine it i think it's it also has the quality of preventing you from forming memories it's one of those like i don't remember what happened kind of kind of situations how do you i mean if roofies just make you go to sleep how do you get them back to your place you uh well you know what yeah you know like a gardener's wheelbarrow how did we line up on wheelbarrow because our minds think similarly and we're aiming for the same uh you know uh result so it just it just gets there you know wheelbarrows exactly you take him literally and then you go from there oh it's just like a benzodiazepine it's just like

taking a fuckload of valium well that, that would knock you out or kill you. Well, rape talk aside, Tarkov is about to have one of its biggest wipes of all time. I would say. Is it? Is it though? Because they always say, we're going to do this. We're going to do this.

When's the last time they actually released everything that they said? Okay. So you are entrenched in that community. So i wouldn't want to step on your toes here i'm fucking jaded as fuck though but from you want to talk jaded i'm mad at this dark tide game they've been so shitty at least nikita will eventually give you what he's talked about like maybe it's late but at least he's not there's not a cosmetic store with a goddamn timer on it so you can you know what I mean? Like, fuck those pieces of shit bought by the...

Never mind. I can't turn that into a racist thing. Stay on top. So Tarkov is supposedly going to have their biggest patch of all time, their biggest wipe of all time. They're adding the long-awaited. And when I say long-awaited,

five years ago ago they started teasing streets of tarkov they they've been working on this map so long that somewhere along the way i think like a year and a half two years in they threw everything out and started over i don't know much about coding but it was that happened yeah like technology caught up or something and they've been a long fucking time they've been teasing it since like 2018 yeah so this thing is tarkov which is already a a game that's very taxing on even the best of rigs this i think optimization is one of the things that's held this back for so long and uh and so i'm looking forward to seeing that map but more than that they're adding

at least two guns you're getting the the steyG, and you're getting that weird little SMG that shoots the PMPB ammo or whatever it is. That's a 9mm variant. It's the... You know the pistol with the suppressor and the silly stock? Whatever that thing shoots. It's that weird funky ammo.

It's some... Yeah, maybe. It's one of the ones I'm... It's one of the ones I'm it's one of the ones i'm no it's different than that it's it's a different oh sp21 shit yeah it doesn't matter it's just a funky little number 21 it is they're adding a new submachine gun that shoots a rare sort of ammo variant that'll so and what i mean why that's interesting is like we don't normally shoot this ammo fully automatic we only shoot it out of this little and it's kind of shitty and it actually slaps like the ammo is this little pistol that's kind of shitty.

And it actually slaps. The ammo is fucking amazing. So that's probably going to be fucking awesome. Very excited about that. And they're supposedly going to throw in maybe the lighthouse traitor. And the traitor supposedly has some kind of a butt buddy who wears antlers on his head and has his eyes whited out like Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat. And guess what? He's rocking. He's got got a 338 lapua with a thermal on it and you might be thinking oh that sounds awful he's

gonna one tap you left and right no he's coated the limb well he he shoots your legs first then your arms off he wants you to suffer he's up there with flesh ammo blowing arms off and so and i bet he's i hope he's on a high like run percentage because a reaper early game is like god mode and that's what he's got it's one of the things that shits me off about the game uh when it comes to like bosses like last patch they added um like the the fucking triple boss thing and i was like fuck yeah this is gonna be sick i can't wait to fight these counts and i swear i played i got kappa or like it would have thousands of raids like if you've got if you've got kappa you've you've

played professionally for months and i i swear i saw them it was either two or three times i killed them once i came up against them and they were killed one of them, and then the other two were killed by someone else. It's about right. And then I found them dead once. So I saw them three times. I just want to see them every fucking raid. I want to fight these motherfuckers. Who are we talking about at last, Colt?

There's some bosses. Every time they had a boss, the spawn raids are super low. Big pipe, the ghost or line. They added this trio that rolls together and they each have a unique thing about them and a unique look to them. One of them can have the six-barreled grenade launcher thing and one of them can have...

They've got sick gear and they roll together and they have unique traits. One of them doesn't make footsteps. Zero footstep noise. When he comes at you, it's actually scary. And he's got like a predator headdress on with dreadlocks. They're scary. I saw him once.

Now, obviously, the amount of time I put in pales Lighthouse. They're actually on Woods Shoreline Lighthouse. Oh, that's right. And Customs. They can go on like any of the maps, but you just never see them. Lighthouse is the only place I saw them. And that's where I thought of them traditionally as being as being on but i never saw them anywhere else apparently they're a higher spawn rate on lighthouse but i never saw them and i play a fuckload of lighthouse

like i like i basically made that map so yeah i i got a a double marin key and a um and a on a scav so i did nothing but run lighthouse and run those marion keys and and i saw him once i got the level i don't know 42 or something like no nowhere near as much time as you put in but i played a lot like like for days and days and hours and yeah the spawn rate was low uh i don't know why they do that like when they throw a new boss and like like maybe they didn't work well maybe that maybe like they maybe they felt like it ruined player experiences if they were turned up too high because he's supposed to test it though like because if you're a casual like i guess i think of myself as a kind of a casual i don't not really i'm playing eight hours a day 10 hours a day sometimes um and i watch so but if you're casual

and you don't even know they exist and you just get like you can't react fast enough like you don't understand what happened of course that they don't give a shit that's how the game is i don't know anyway it's a big fucking wipe i'm very excited for the white i'm okay i i haven't played taco for a couple months you're what hang on come on i didn't get your hella keen what i'm hella keen hella keen i got it I heard Elcan you're a Canadian three and a half power optic I don't want to be that

piece of shit those are nice I love Keen and I love Heaps I'm integrating both of those I'm pretty keen the whole I just hope that they deliver because it's like the last one was just pretty bare on content and they made a bunch of promises that like about the traders and shit they didn't keep and then it was sort of crappy

um i'm just really hoping that they pull it out because i want to see the game succeed because i do love the game, but I've been around for like five years, so it gets to that point where I'm like, fuck, I'll believe it when I see it. I really want it to be good, but I'm not in my mind. I'm not like it's going to be.

I temper my expectations a lot with the game these days. I'm excited. I have high expectations because man, it's taking forever i i think maybe this is gonna be it if they just the map alone i just got a new pc so i i'll be able to run the map fine yeah i've been like playing a little bit of tarkov just to see what my just to tune my pc and like and the the tarkov settings but i can run the game at ultra settings and max out frames in 1440p so it's like yeah no it's um i think i don't think that map's going to

be an issue at all i'm really excited for it i hope they add the new trader um i've seen like where they want to head with the game at least as far as the traders go they want all the traders to be in raid yeah right now that'd be sick yeah right now you just like press back and there's a list of there's like six traders there and you or is it six it doesn't matter your traders are there and you're like you're like ah go to this guy and buy this go to this girl and buy that and like you buy your shit yeah man i'd like to say like like uh where if you if you need more ammo you have to make your way to this dude like if you need food you're in there you can't just like buy stuff and just refill

your food like you have to find food like make it more survivally i would love to see that well i saw them i saw them suggest that you're gonna have to find a lot more of your stuff um in right i think they're taking a lot of stuff off the flea. And I think they're going to want it, but I think they're going to drop more end game type gear in world. Like, like, cause right now it's like,

how often do you find a piece of armor in raid? That's almost never. They need like an overhaul of the loot system before that. Cause it needs to be just like more varied. Cause you pretty much just find the same crap. Like that's why you see like a dickhead with a hatchet just running in the same room over and over again because it's just like we know where the loot's gonna spawn they need to i like lock random like i like i like the idea of unlocking it but it's like i want it to be like you can

have both random shit everywhere so that people actually explore the map instead of it just being a race to get to one room, you know? I still like the race to one room, but I do want them to flesh out all the low and medium areas with a more dynamic loot pool. Like I was saying, armor is almost never in raid.

You see it sometimes in stashes and on Giving Tree, places like that. There's three places on Custom customs right there from that, that warehouse. And then, um, the, the gas station and then the tree behind where like anything can spawn.

Um, but other, that's like a unique thing there. It's not like there's armor just laying around. Uh, they nerfed the mark rooms already. That was shitty. I,

I always liked opening. Yeah. It's not worth it. And there's not. And now that, And now there's no PvP centered there either. It used to be on reserve. I would always rush to that marked room

and there'd be somebody else there to meet me. That's what I loved about customs. You just go to dorms on Donkey Kong every fucking time. I love that. They're moving the quests around because traditionally the quests push all the players to customs early game because it's like hey your first quest go to customs kill five

scavs now they fixed that this last wipe very cool thing they did they were like just kill five scavs do it wherever you want yeah and it took a lot of the initial pressure off of customs because you got to imagine if that's the first thing that you've got to do the problem is that the 15th 25th and 35th things that you're going to do are also in that goddamn building so the people who are on those levels they're in that building tonight too and it's like dude i just wanted to kill an ai it's that's the time that i feel the worst playing the game is when you get up to like the suppressed shotgun kills and the setup where you're gonna kill people on customs with a shotgun because you are just hunting motherfuckers that are going for the first quest like trying to get the gold pocket watch and you're just out there

like geared to the teeth just hunting timmies and it's like is this if that's someone's first experience of the game that game fucking sucks like they are fucking hating that shit because they're just getting ass raped by experienced players so it's so much of the game is like that like like so many aspects of the game in the questing system are they're sending your first your very early quests send you to the same building that many of that you're continuously going back to we're always going to go back to this building to do our quest essentially yeah but it's like it doesn't annoy me because it's like it'd be like if your wife sent you to the for the shops and it's like you get me some uh give me some coke and then you get there and then you get back and she's like oh can you get

me some bread it's like i was just fucking there but i think they're gonna they've said they're gonna move those they've suggested anyway that they're gonna move the quest around and uh move people instead of customs maybe push people toward lighthouse or not lighthouse but um streets streets the new map so no i'm very excited i'm gonna i'm gonna play some i will i would like to see early quests on the new map because usually like in the past with uh reserve lighthouse uh shoreline when they launched them i need to change uh when they launched all of those maps they had no quests and no one went to them so like the the only people that went there were like after a few days people discovered that there was either overpowered loot there

and so they started farming it or people went there like end game and then started farming it but it's like lighthouses like that like i the fuck out of Lighthouse at the start of the wipe, and there was no one there. And it was kind of crap. Like, I want to see, I want to see streets just lit up. Which I think it will, because it,

I mean, regardless, I think it will, because it's been so touted as like a big fucking map. But I would like to see it more. Like, I want to see people questing there and discovering new quests

and working their way around it. I'm looking for, like like i'm chomping at the bit i i i check my phone all the time like what if it wiped what if it wiped yeah let's see we're gonna be uh i mean next week or the week after i think next week i'm calling it uh i'm i'm saying next thursday yeah next i'm hoping i don't want it to be this way because I want to play Darker Darker all weekend. Ooh, is that out again? Yeah, seven hours. After this, I'm going straight back to fucking bed. I got up and then I'm going straight back to bed

and then I'm getting up to fucking play that. What do you mean seven hours? Like seven more hours it's out? Seven hours it comes out. Oh, okay, okay. Perfect. I'm going to go for world number one this time i haven't played before but i but i because i have like okay yeah so they have like yeah they

have leaderboards and last time i think it was like a five day test and i came on like the third day like halfway through and me and uh kings and another streamer and uh a couple of my mod mates we were like yeah let's um let's try and go real hard at it and i got of my mod mates, we were like, yeah, let's, let's try and go real hard at it. And I got to like, I think we're up to 29th in the world.

Even though I arrived like three days late. And so this time I'm like, this is fucking happening this time. I want to get there. I want to get to number one in the world. Fuck everyone. Yeah. I'm going to,

I'll remind my friends. I know they want to play it too. It's like Tarkov mixed with Dungeons and Dragons. So it's, it's an interesting. Excellent. Yeah. Great. Well, I think we've come to the close of the show slush thanks for coming on tonight we uh thanks for having me yeah anytime man you're great where can everybody find you other than slush puppy twitch uh it's a slush puppy on everything twitter

instagram tiktok youtube uh go and use your go and use your twitch primes on me i'm gonna pay bills help them can i give a can i give a shout out as well yes it's uh yes yesterday i had a guy come into my chat it's not a guy coming in my chat and he said uh please don't go ever go on pka again because you're fucking so cringe so i just want to give a shout out to that guy. Oh, nice. Shout out to that guy. He's not listening.

He's not. Yeah, he has no idea. He did not make it to four hours and eight minutes. If he thinks you're cringe. I barely did. Put that at the start. Oh, I want to give a shout out too. I read my YouTube comments comments this is like a

month ago to a guy that said woody should have more injuries so he misses more shows i saw your comment bro i'm working on it yeah you guys are gonna shut these comments right down i want to say we'll hide i love it all right pka 626