Painkiller Already - PKA 627 W/ F1nn5ter: $300k Dono, Stop Tipping Waiters, Kyle’s New Laser

Episode Date: December 24, 2022

PKA 627 with our guest Finster Taylor. This episode of PKA brought to you by Blue Chew and Lock and Load. So you'll learn more about those penis pills, those dick pills later. Finn, thank you so much for joining us. You put a lot of effort into your outfit. Looking hot. This stuff takes hours, man. You guys should be privileged.

It's the only place I get dressed up for that's not my stream. That male privilege. I doubt that. You won't drop the whole thing of either calling me a girl or thinking that this is my thing. I watched the last podcast. You keep calling me a girl. Look, nice tits, bro. That's all I got to say to you.

You seem to be dressed up like a pretty girl all the time. I'm pretty sure you're a fan of it. I don't think you think you're being drug through the mud over the coals to do this. You know what I mean? There's a, there's a lot of money in it, man. I've been doing this. I know there is.

We're all very proud of you. We're so happy. Very proud of you. You're, you're, you're really making lemonade here. Like figured out people would pay you oodles of cash to, to be a pretty lady. And now here we are. I'll just be on my, you look like you figured out people would pay you oodles of cash to to be a pretty lady and now here we are i'll just be on my you look like you have boobs what am i seeing i mean i could break the whole

illusion but i'll do that remember he told us it was a good ass pre-show god damn it i'll be on reddit just scrolling and i'll be like, oh, that's a familiar face. What's this? And it's you in some sort of a like, Femboy meme or something like that. I don't know if you've heard of the Femboy Hooters thing, but I have like a whole thing. I got like a crop top for it. That's what I was doing for Halloween.

I was a Femboy Hooters white shirt. I love what you got going on. I have a video out there from ages ago where i wear a dog a dog bark collar and i bark and it shocks me it's pretty funny got a couple million views and uh but people in real life are making fun of me like like how how like uncivilized how embarrassing to do that for a living it's like shut up you day job haver i made you i made two weeks of your salary doing that.

You know that, right? A video's like two and a half minutes long. How much shit you want to give me? Wait, two and a half minutes? You didn't even get the good ad sense from it? I did, but it was back in the day. Yeah, get a flat rate. It's guaranteed money.

Make a one minute video if you want. I was probably on a machinima at the time or something yeah why do we do that why did when we were on that machinima flat rate contract we should have just been pumping out youtube shorts dude i like what t-mart did t-mart had the coolest thing he used to do these choose your own adventure videos oh so he put out a video like hey i'm in this situation it's me and two guys which one do you shoot first and it was like click this right or this spot either's me and two guys which one do you shoot first and it was like click this right or this spot either way you go to a new video and he's like that was the wrong choice you want to shoot the guy in the back shoot the guy in the front alerts the guy

in the back and now you got a problem and or you go to the right one oh good call this is why anyway you go through this choose your own adventure you've watched like nine videos by the time it's over then you just monetize the heck out of it it was a clever idea that was no i like that i mean let's plays in general are really good for that if i know from my own it from my own experience it like ox i don't know if you know about oxhorn on uh on youtube he makes amazing let's plays i don't know how many hours of them there are but my off the top of my head i would guess there's well over a,000 hours of video, maybe 5,000, 10,000, who knows? It's incalculable. It's an enormous amount. He does these

long, long let's plays, but he tells you a story along the way. He's not just like the way I used to do them, where I'm just like, this is a fucking scary part. Here, guys. I don't know. I don't have enough HP. He's just like, this is the part where back in the olden times,

the dwellers of this land were the merfolk. And you're like, oh, for real, bro? Sounds good. He looks like he looks like he's a real nice guy. He's a real nice guy. I like his videos a lot.

I like his videos a lot. I like his videos a lot. Oxhorn, if you want good Let's Plays. That, to me, seems like the best way to have that crazy one video leading into another kind of thing. I'll watch dozens of videos. However you want to splice it up. I've got YouTube Premium or whatever.

They're just going to autoplay. YouTube Premium is a bomb. I have that too. Good investment. i don't use the music stuff very much mostly just youtube i haven't at this point when an ad pops up on a video i find it completely intolerable yeah i i that's i'm gonna switch browsers when uh yeah we all gonna switch to firefox or whatever i i want to dislike youtube premium but it's so good because jumble what the youtube app used to be you close out of it it keeps playing everything used to always do that and

then they turned it off and then like a month later came out with youtube premium it's like i pay us and we'll turn it back on again it's the only thing i use it for for a podcast listener it's good so i i just went on this long motorcycle trip and i listened to podcasts on the way and it's good not to have to have the app open and running and everything. You can just background it like it's Spotify. It's funny. I have this piece of shit, like Samsung S6,

and it's so old that I guess they didn't get around to making it so that YouTube doesn't work the old way for me. So I've been able to run YouTube in the back of my phone for free for years and now granted i can't make calls i don't get a lot of texts sometimes it turns off i was sending an email on my phone like three days ago and i'd like 52 percent and it just went like i'm like oh i guess i guess we're not sending that. It's just dead. I broke my camera on my last trip.

It bugs me. What kind of camera? On your phone? My phone has like three or four cameras in the back of it, and the telephoto one doesn't work anymore. I'm glad you brought that up because Woody took some photos on his trip. Really well-composed photos, honestly, like photography might be one of your hidden talents.

And it's sort of his motorcycle in the foreground with interesting things in the background. Usually like a scenic view or like a sign or something like that. I liked your pictures a lot. And like your camera. I know it's an iPhone, but Jesus Christ, they're so fucking good. I think the Android top of the line shit is probably even better. I feel like they go back and forth i don't know who's on top right i think i saw like the android people like

shit like making fun of apple on twitter or something like like three months ago that's why that's in my head they were like oh you're just now getting six million megapixels uh welcome to 2018 i know for sure if you go like two years ago, the Apple guys were poking fun at the Android, so I might be out of date. If I want to read, I don't know anything about that battle, but I feel like it would be fun for me to like, is there a Reddit or

a forum of people who are like, they fucking love iPhones or like they hate Androids or vice versa. Do you ever seek out forums like that like things that people are really passionate about that you think is kind of android master race oh is that real did you make that up like no i'm i'm making it up but i'm thinking like they wouldn't be that lame and the android master race they call themselves like um like like the

t2000s it'd be something terminator related like they they do something like that there's fucking losers i guess uh android is way more popular in europe than it is uh over here like yeah i i think i saw something about like the the market share of each company in europe versus the us and it was really skewed like kind of maybe 60 percent in europe is is android so i don't know about europe in particular broken down it's my understanding that like if you combine all the iphones it's more popular than any android model but if you combine all the android phones it's more popular than the combined iphones yeah that makes sense androids are still cheaper right do you have the 13 or the 14 i have the 13 we'll

see what happens last time i broke a camera because this is my second time i'm glad you said 13 i uh i've got the i had to upgrade my camera yeah i i don't know from what i've been to my phone from what i read online like there wasn't a big upgrade from 13 to 14 yeah well one thing 14 has is this satellite connectivity and i'm in this weird spot where like i'm a guy who might need to send a tech from the middle of nowhere but 13 doesn't have that right cool i didn't know there was online they make it seem like there was like no like advantage between a 13 and a 14 probably for a lot of people there aren't but if you ride motorcycles in death valley or something then you're you're that guy who might want satellite connectivity your phone has a

your phone now has a your phone the 14 has a feature that replaces a device and that's what iphones were like that's why our phones are so amazing they're full of features that replace devices right i'm sure we've all seen that old meme of the pile of 1990s technology your gps and your cameras and your phones and like you link them all together yeah you remember what it was like going on vacation in the 90s how many like oh i want to take some pictures to give me the suitcase honey there's so much shit involved with just the general like i i remember like the the old big rca camcorder

right like that's what our home movies were on growing up um you run around the yard you know your dad looked like he was broadcasting for 11 alive out there that's we didn't have one of well i don't think we had one of those i just i don't know if it was behind the times or ahead of the times but we had one give like drop these hints of an affluent childhood and it's not that i was broke or anything my parents but they were uh really frugal and you know taylor's like yeah what you didn't have chimpanzees at your birthday parties i was like yeah i had camcorders to fuck around with well i mean it wasn't mine but when i was four and five like dad definitely had the big rca cam

quarter and um i he had a business at that time um conversion vans in the 80s were a big deal people listening to this don't even know what i'm talking about but what they would do is they take a big box truck type van that was lame and they pimp it out in like 80s style it was more about like getting some ladies in the back. It had this big top that made it so you could stand up in there. They put a big fiberglass top on it to extend the headroom. Then they'd pimp it out with televisions and

carpeting, indoor carpeting, home carpeting. What's the tall stuff? Shag. Yeah, yeah. Stuff like that. His business was turning those things out really quickly. They had an assembly line i know you're young like you were young when this was happening yeah but the girls like this i i feel like if i'm a girl and some guy has a conversion van with a shag carpeting and some disco lights inside i'm like do not go in there

i think i think i don't think the market was necessarily like young hip dudes looking for pussy as much as it was like maybe like a young married couple who's like wants the coolest like i don't know techiest thing because it was kind of their version of like a pimped out escalator something but the 80s version so anyway like they were making a large amount of money at that time. So he definitely had the big silly satellite in the yard that looked like we were at NORAD that had Japanese

channels on it and shit. We had so many channels that just didn't work or were half-assed or other languages. They were so rural they had no option except for DISH. So it was just whatever was on DISH. You talking about that camcorder. I remember like playing with my grandparents, like tape recorder, like a cassette recorder.

And it was one of those that was like a small black one that had like that little like kind of mic little spike on the top that you could fold out and like talk into like a cop. I know people out there know exactly what I'm talking about. and like talk into like a cop i know people out there know exactly what i'm talking about and i remember being like six and thinking it was so fucking cool because i had like seen csi or something where a guy's like we have to investigate the timothy stevenson later and like i remember just like having that and wanting to play pretend but just being like god i've got nothing to like note yourself play pokemon later like i didn't have i didn't know where to go from there like it was like yes i'm like a cop but i'm not aware of crimes or like what i'm trying to think of uh can you think of any other luxury items you might have had as a kid taylor uh those moon shoes

you had a pool those were gonna be luxury yeah you got a pool? We had a pool as well. Diving board and slide. I'm not bragging. I'm just trying to quantify what it was. We had a YMCA. Oh, really? A diving board? That's eight inches of fiberglass, son. It's high quality fiberglass. Yeah. I'm still

very seriously considering buying a hot tub now. I feel like that would be a fun purchase. And I would, I don't. You should get it for winter. I know. I feel like that's the dope time to use it. Like, do you want to fill that thing up,

heat it and enjoy Christmas outside in the freezing cold in the hot water? Oh, yeah. It's like, it's been snowing for the past 16 hours here. It's like, feels like it's minus 20 outside. It's awful. And I've just been thinking all day, like, man, that would be awesome to like brave the cold for two seconds

out on my patio and get in my boiling water tub, bring a book, bring my new book. Shout out, Kyle. Are you on the gotta keep the water clean train or the sex in a hot tub

is an obvious purpose of the hot tub train? I want to build immunity. They're not mutually exclusive. What are you talking about? You want folliculitis? I want it to be disgusting. This is just an absolute

tampon-filled pit. First of all, sex in a hot tub fucking sucks. The only way to properly do that... I think it's really bad for women. It's not good to get hot tub water in their pussies. I'm not a woman, Taylor, so we're good there. Yeah, Taylor, I don't see the problem.

Men! Men! Submerged sex isn't gonna work so you're gonna have to get out of the hot tub kind of to do it right which kind of defeats the whole oh our knees are in bubbly water nice like fuck off that's not good sex yeah but but you're right and it but i'm sorry for a few years there like at that last house the one i had to quickly sell when the government was closing in and uh um and it was you know it was in the backyard and there was a house yeah the one that you visited the one you took a shower in you own that place yeah he wasn't squatting it for some reason okay we're squatting right no i thought it was for some reason. You thought we were squatting? Yes.

No, I thought it was a rental. Okay. No, no. I bought that. That was like 180 and 220 or something. What year did you sell it? Right before the real estate boom, I hope. Like right after I got arrested, right?

Because we were a little afraid that they were going to try to take it in some sort of a seizure or something. They were going to try to say that I was a drug baron and this house was part of my drug empire. That's unfortunate. I think you missed out on $100,000 of appreciation or something.

Well, I needed to sell it. I wasn't going to live there anymore, right? I didn't need to live there anymore because it was time to sell the house. I'm you i sold my last house too should have rented it oh that's right yeah oh rent wouldn't have been an option there in that place but anyway yeah um that place had a hot tub and i liked it a lot and uh in the winter when it was freezing cold and even when it's i can remember one year it snowed enough that it's like yeah we're in the snow but in the hot tub it's great yeah that is and it was a nice place to hide from

wings because he couldn't get in there he couldn't get in the hot tub he could get in the hot tub if he was motivated right like he just didn't want to you'd have to refill it and that's not a joke like literally like when a bunch of people get in the hot tub you do have to refill it because i'm gonna be honest yeah it's like a bunch of people get in the hot tub, you do have to refill it. Is that a thing? Yeah. When we had one, sometimes six people would get in. It only was made for four people. Then when you get out...

Public bath now. Once we get six in there, we're all just taking a bath together. What is it? You're hanging out with all of us. What happens to the water? It just flows over the side. You put it somewhere. That's not a huge problem.

No, I don't think he was, it just flows over the side. So you put it somewhere that's not a huge problem. Yeah. No, I don't know. He was going to put it in the kitchen. Yeah. Because we had, like, a little wooden, I don't know, gazebo type thing that the hot tub went onto. And then there was, like, some fiberglass steps that, like, three steps that you, like, stepped onto to, like, ease yourself in. Because it wasn't, like't lowered down in the ceiling of something. We still had to go over and into it.

He couldn't get up, though, is the way I remember it. I would love to see Wings climb those steps, sit on the side of the hot tub, fall in backwards scuba diver style, and show you what's what. Crack a fiberglass, ruin it. This is a question I bet Woody

actually knows the answer to, one of you two. What are those wooden slat things that overhang on a patio or a porch that look... What is that, veranda? You can put lights on them. Veranda? The word veranda comes to mind when I think of that, but I don't know what that word means. You can picture what I'm talking about. Oh, for sure. that word means it's it's it's like you know you can picture what i'm talking about it was like beams that like are decorative and they're over a patio or a porch kyle you're looking confused

you know what i mean i'm fucking i had to google it but i got it is that i don't know what it is but every time i see someone with a pergola i always am like that's like rich person language of origin for pergola i just always think of that you asked me to google the word yeah i know but you're already there you know like it's like a spelling bee language of origin greek use it in a sentence pergola is a greek word origin is uncertain that's interesting as compared to lithuanian purgus you could grab yourself a nice hot tub as a business expense if you started twitch streaming again that's a whole category yeah i'm ashamed of my body though so i don't think your body's

getting better and better taylor it is it's an investment for february well see that's how you earn the money you'd start off like right here like way down in the water you gotta pay to get me out of there who's the really hot chick I know Finster Amaranth yeah I don't know how really it's funny who's the really hot

chick on OnlyFans you both know I mean oh but it's because she's the one who progressively showed more and more. Oh, that's Belle Delphine. Oh, yeah. Belle Delphine is who I'm going with. Yeah, that is who I'm going with.

I haven't heard about her in a long time. Not since that, like, two years ago, Bathwater thing. She's doing fine. She's doing just fine. Yeah, I bet she's still living on it. She's off again. She takes her, like, regularly scheduled breaks, and then she'll come back and then do something crazy and then you know

Are you an only fans? I'm not an only fans, but God it's tempting. I I've been I've been losing a bunch of Mmm, it is that's the endgame because you can't do anything after that really for is the endgame. Yeah in politics Wait, say you've been losing a bunch of what I've been losing I saw it every time I come on I've hit some new weight goal and I was I've been losing it. Every time I come on, I've hit some new weight goal and I've been losing more weight. Gradually, as I'm stepping down and getting a little more lean and actually working out this time, I'm doing those squats. Finally,

my legs hurt all the time. It's leg day every time. It sucks. But I've been taking a shower. You're even working out like a chick. Every day is leg day. I've been coaching him. I'll send you the progress up next. I've been taking so many more I've been taking so many more

photos explicit photos as like I look better and better I don't know if you guys do that when you like make a bit of progress. Oh, I do it all the time. Kyle and Taylor, I've backed off on the amount of photos I send them, but yeah, I take progress pics pretty much almost every day.

I mostly take beat pics. Yeah. Of people on the subway. Yeah, just... Did you see that? Oh my god, I saw... Alright, so imagine this i saw this on reddit there's like two three guys and a girl hanging out in the living room clearly she's with one of the guys because she's like laying across his lap but her feet are kind

of kicked up and the other dudes flashes on his camera when he tries to sneak a picture of her feet in the living room and i've been their private living room it's not even like we're on the subway and you can just be like i'm so sorry i'm weird and like like slink away it's just like bro dude are you taking feet pics of my girlfriend are you taking feet pics of me and the other dude's like are you taking fucking can i have can i see it it was the most i mean you gotta just everybody has to have an agreement in that situation where it's like let's not acknowledge this no it's like a 30 second long video and all of it spent him just looking around not knowing what the fuck to say after he does it's so goddamn embarrassing

it's a crazy thing apparently it's super common for guys to like feet like i've heard that like i there was one girl on the internet she said that you know if you go feet boobs and ass she's not sure what's most popular that's so weird to me or not weird like there's no way feet is up there with i don't want i'm not trying to like what when i say weird i read it on reddit taylor come on it's true it's it's gonna be even true things once posted on reddit false. No, no, no. I believe 100% because I think what it is is that what you have is a sex worker, and her clientele is asking for those three things,

and feet is going to be more often asked for because it's probably something that they're not able to get in real life, right? Because that would – I don't know. It wouldn't weird me out if a girl wanted to do something to my to my feet but i would be like let me know when you're done i don't want i don't want my feet touched or played really or yeah get down there no i wouldn't enjoy that i feel like taylor's making a huge mistake i wanted i wanted someone to hold my toenails like jack trim them up a bit hypothetically got off by my feet which would be crazy i and i wasn't into it at all i would absolutely do it that's such a small ask like oh yeah no big deal oh i'm just saying

i don't think i could get into a feet like someone licking my foot yeah my response like imagine someone licking your foot you're not thinking like oh that's nice you're like thinking like get off my foot what's the limit that you'd let a girl do to your feet? There's a limit. If she wants to do something to my feet, she can. There's no limit to what a girl can do to my feet. As long as she's not going to cut it. Don't cut a toe off or anything and we're

straight, right? Right. Don't injure my feet. But if she wants to put them in her butt or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, I've absolutely toe-fucked a girl. You probably, you got fucking prehensile toes yeah i mean you know can you do the come hither with your big toe yeah yeah i would show you but it'd probably get you know you can't even show feet on the internet anymore it's ah the internet's so lame that's my favorite that's my favorite thing to do to a new all right

what i mean is that's my favorite thing that i've seen done to new twitch streamers when somebody like what size feet what shoes do you wear man they'll be like i wear a size 13 nah there's no way you look like you're eight or something and he'll show up like ah you're wearing clown shoes i'm gonna take that shoe off and prove it and be like i'm gonna show y'all and then the next thing you know this user has been like dude just trying to show his feet getting tucker got me to do the heil hitler somehow i forget but he got me to like put my hand and point it to the camera flat i'm an idiot it's easy to slip up yeah which is a weird one.

They definitely pick favorites with who they want to ban. I don't know how I've gotten away with everything. I've got a pet theory that I've gotten away with so much because they're still scared to ban me for anything. Like if I show nipple, they can't, because you're allowed to show nipple if you're a dude. Yeah. I swear I was thinking about this last night.

You're in this really nice Goldilocks zone. You're playing both sides. So you always come out on top. Yeah. That's what. Oh, have you ever heard of you ever heard of like turfs? No. How's it spelled?

What's what's a turf? So T.E.R.F. It's trans exclusionary radical feminist. So they're feminists that hate trans people because they don't. They think that like a man transitioning to woman They like they don't count and they're co-opting womanhood, and they're very funny They're the most insane group on the internet by far. They're great JK Rowling a turf People say so yeah, did we tweet Mary Turfmas?

Okay, so she is But I can see why they're so threatened right like caitlin jenner woman of the year right oh yeah people matter the best women yeah and then also think of it so they i've started noticing i've been popping up into more and more i've been tweeting out like a very general statement so i'll tweet a photo of me looking like this and just go i'm i'm a fucking dude male let's go and then i pop up into like that just gets retweeted the fuck out of so i ended up on like turf twitter and if they don't like trans women co-opting womanhood they fucking hate me he's like i am a guy i gotta because you're like

because i am a guy and i'm co-opting chick shit i got i got a huge video idea for you. I only want 2% of the money you're going to make. You do a music video. Anything you can do, I can do better. You're singing along and every time it cuts and you've got a feminist like Karen going, no, you can't.

You're like, yes, I can. Every step of the way, you're in a different costume. That would be fun yeah you're in like a different costume or a different like outfit outdoing the woman like beating her at like i don't know being a police officer or a trash man or whatever you want to do like different funny outfits that part you have to come up with but the the anything you can do i can do better ideas i'm willing to consult on this project and i'll just watch afterwards 10 million views easy 10 million the only the only thing with that is i'm gonna i'm in a bit of a weird spot where people people do just see me as trans without giving an explanation so that's

why i've started doing just tweeting or putting in my titles of everything like dude so like clearly defining because otherwise and it's well because what happens is if i say something and i'm seen as trans and i've got this big platform people think that i'm speaking for trans women and i am not because i'm i don't i'm not part of the group yeah i'm not in the in group for that so you don't really do like politics stuff you're mostly like gaming and goofing around no i stay away from it are you sure you don't find womanhood a little attractive? Womanhood or women? What do you mean?

Being a woman? I think he likes the money. I'm stuck on this. We were in the PKA hangout. You know the monthly thing? I have to say that. What did I say that you remember that I don't? You were saying that as soon as you start taking female hormones, that all these great

things start happening to you your hair gets thicker your fat redistribution gets better your skin gets smoother like there was a lot of stuff that i like didn't consider high priorities it's a thing that happens it's i don't so i don't take them this is just like everyone wants me to yeah everyone wants me to take them so i always get all the uh i always get like the like here's all the great things and they don't mention like your dick stops working a little bit like this you know i mean we're sponsored by a product that'll take care of that yeah i should have brought that up in an hour damn it but yeah no there's there's downsides to it i mean also you know what's weird about hrt it was like how it's not cheap but it's affordable like it's um i think it's like 500 bucks a year maybe 700

bucks a year and you can just like be a woman yeah really it's cheaper than i would guess well i mean it's the same thing with testosterone it's yeah it's just it's cheap to go the other way how much is testosterone i don't know i get like a a discount um so and i and i buy in like three to six month chunks so it's kind of hard to say exactly i pay a couple hundred dollars every six months or so what's the super expensive is hgh the one that's like really pricey oh yeah that's what like uh that's how the liver king got into that crazy $16,000 a month like regimen. Right. A big portion of that is pharmaceutical grade human growth hormone. And I specify pharmaceutical grade because you could go to like an underground lab and probably say 95 percent or whatever. Like it's it's it was wild to me to see that he was getting that all above board.

Oh, dude, but he was raking in tens of millions of dollars like with his supplements and programs supposedly you know you know I don't know I don't know why everybody's down on the guy other than like it seems weird that he feeds those kids ground beef but I don't give a fuck

you have to be a fucking retard to not realize that guy is on gear you have to be genuinely at first I was like well if you lift at all you should be able to see through this retard to not realize that guy is on gear. At first I was like, well, if you lift at all, you should be able to see through this. I looked at another photo of him again. No. There's no excuse as an adult

human to look at him and not understand that he's used to the gills. It's still impressive on it though, right? Surely. His physique is unbelievable. He's huge. Yeah, it that like like anybody takes it i don't know but i think they're real to me i don't know what they are but like his body's real like he's the abs are fake he can't relax i thought that was debunked did we do but i'm gonna say that about things i just disagree with you that was already debunked not well shut up i need to find the video where he said he can't relax his abs at this point he works them out while he sleeps at night and shit like that and

and yeah that's pretty that's that's a red flag yeah yeah that's crazy that's crazy talk they i think that their implants behind the muscle to make the muscle stand out and always be prominent in conjunction possibly with lipo around the muscle to onto it and sculpt it. Because abs are weird. You have to be so goddamn lean and big to get the abs that he has. big to to get the abs that he has like like when i'm at my leanest my abs are like kind of sharp and like protrude out but they're not these big wide bands he's got these big wide weird bands of muscle there that are just always bulging out it's uh it's pretty wild and like taylor said it's it's crazy that i knew about the liver king and i knew he ate liver, but I didn't know that he was pretending to be natty. Like that.

Yeah. I thought it was like, yeah, steroids and liver. That's how you get like this. Okay. Believable. Believe it.

Yeah. On my radar, he just shot up. Like I didn't know him at all three months ago. And then all of a sudden he's like the center of my social media world. It was Andrew. Andrew tated me. You guys, do you guys use like tick tock or anything like that? I didn't know him at all three months ago. And then all of a sudden he's like the center of my social media world. It was Andrew. Andrew tated me.

You guys, do you guys use like TikTok or anything like that? No, I don't have one. I don't, I don't, I don't, I was listening to you guys talk about the eighties and the nineties going live.

I know the latest TikTok memes. I'm a zoomer. I don't fit it, but there's a, yeah, everyone's TikTok wild for like a good year. I was completely against using it uh and it's fucking crazy but the number the follower numbers they're like a good way i've

heard it put is that they're like grains of sand they don't matter but there's so fucking many people you can't transfer them to other platforms but it's not uncommon to find just like a random girl with 10 million followers like it's that's crazy easy to get big and it's like someone who was on the show told us like how badly it's monetized right where it's like fractions of a penny per thousand people or something ridiculous what they do instead of what so what youtube do is they have advertisers and they pay a percentage out of each ad that someone sees what tiktok decided to do is while they were a little smaller than they were they just said right we make a hundred billion a year whatever it is we'll put aside one billion and then it will just put that in a pot each year and just divide it but then

they never changed it really where more creators more viewers so everyone's like slowly getting less and less money uh i think they're changing it because youtube shorts just fucking did it did it better. Yeah, I don't even have an account. YouTube Shorts, I watch too many of. It can't be good for my attention span. I think it makes me worse as a human. But here I am.

Like, oh, here's a comedian with a joke. TikTok's worse for that. Do you guys ever accidentally go a few seconds without some form of media? Never. Do you ever start to make yourself a sandwich and you're like, I should be listening to Spitting Chicklets or something? There's someone doing their dishes

listening to us right now. How's that play coming along? I think the only time I don't have anything is when I'm with my dogs and I'm just hanging out with them and talking to them. i guess they're filling in for anything else but yeah i like something going all the time because um you know i spend a lot of time by myself and uh i would go crazy if it was just dead silent all the time like every creek would scare me yeah if you've ever been in a place alone like you've ever lived alone i should say yeah um

after a while like you know you become a grown-up and you're not afraid of the dark anymore but sometimes you hear a noise and you're like man what the fuck was that you know like like actually what the fuck was it and you start sitting you like sit up in bed start doing the math about like like that was that was like a big part it had to be big like part of leveling up in adulthood is like now when I hear a bump in the night or like a creek or like a house settling sound, like 0% of me is like, intruder. The entire worry is like, oh, no, is there an expensive problem happening somewhere in the house? Is a pipe bursting? Is a beam cracking?

Like, is there something going on? Please, if there's another burst pipe just kill me in my bed just break it and kill me i hope it's not water rot i hope it's a murderer i have a couple of my faucets right now just like like i had a plumber i'm friends with tell me to like you know because it's like my it's like minus five here right now it's like mine it's unbelievably cold we're like on the line of that that storm and i don't want another burst pipe and so i have like three of my faucets just tiny drips right now because he told me he's like you know it's not if you care about wasting water i'm like i don't he's like okay well then just

like drip your faucets throughout the night because you know it doesn't need to be much the smallest amount of drip just as long as there's movement of water through it nothing will happen and so i've got three four faucets just running right now zach can you pull up um the weather channels forecast for uh for tonight's weather across the the the united states can you guys hear this like on my can you hear like the wind whistling? It is so fucking loud. It's unreal. So I just did this 6,000-mile motorcycle ride. Your hair is tremendous.

You're just looking at me, aren't you? You're not even listening to what he's telling a new story. You started adjusting your fucking hat. If I see you adjusting some stuff, I'm trying to... It's going to be a good season finale when you guys talk. Dude, so the weather now outside, it's cold it's raining rain occasionally hard where you can see the individual raindrops in midair and they come to the ground with a splash in the puddles and it's just like the weather outside is frightful but i'm inside my motor ride is It's warm. We had a fire cooking in the kitchen, and it

is just so nice to not be in that mess. Can you find the one that's like later on tonight with the temperatures? It's going to be very, very cold. Is it cold in Europe right now? You guys are having a tough winter too, right? I consider ourselves different to Europe. We're better.

It's okay. It just rains and it's gray a lot oh no we're in europe we're just not in the eu i just don't like consider it i don't like grouping myself in with those people yeah you're a brexit person is that what are you no no i'm just i'm just i don't like considering myself in with the french uh but they're like it's okay it's just it's just cold and rainy and gray it's business as usual really just a little more so i'm trying to get to america it doesn't even snow that much there right it does it does the even worse thing where it's like it just frosts so everything's just slippery and shitty

but equally as cold but it's not even pretty not even yeah so cnn cnn was calling this a once-in-a-generation storm. I was in Oklahoma City two days ago. And good God, now the temperature's three? Three? That's not even a temperature. That's not a thing that represents degrees.

13 in Atlanta and raining. This will be a fun night, huh? Look how much warmer it is in North Carolina. Minus four in snow. It hasn't gotten to you yet. Look, this is what we were talking about Tuesday. That's the magenta wave of evil everywhere. How's magenta

a weather map color? You never see that. We need to send... I had to Google the conversion. Minus 26 is minus 32 degrees celsius what the fuck how's that montana is so fucking cold you go inside jesus christ that's the outside you die see this is why the 26 this is why the homeless problem is so bad over in san

francisco and la look look at them tonight. They're just throwing an extra blanket. They're fine tonight. The Oklahoma City homeless are hard motherfuckers. Can you imagine Oklahoma City homeless versus San Francisco homeless? Yeah.

They run those San Francisco homeless right out of the block. Just three days ago I was talking to Albuquerque homeless, and they're like, man, you look cold. And I'm like, I look cold? Like, you guys have blankets, and you're outside a gas station. Like, how do you stay warm? I just checked, Kyle, it's 45 degrees in Atlanta.

I wasn't complaining. I wasn't complaining. What I was saying was it's going to be 14 tonight and raining. Those DoorDash people are going to be suffering. Oh, it's going to be terrible for them. It's a tip 20% kind of way. I've stopped tipping DoorDash people because I feel like I'm doing my part to let the economy and businesses adjust. They should be paying a living wage to those people.

So we need to stop tipping so that that will adjust itself. Let the economy and businesses adjust. They should be paying a living wage to those people. So we need to stop tipping so that that'll adjust itself. So I'm doing my part. I'm proud of you. You're proud of me just in by your principles. I'm kidding. But I saw a Reddit video the other day where people didn't tip. And this driver pulls up and she's like, no tip?

And they're like, well, you know, it's now no fucking tip. Really? And like slings their food across their fucking yard. It's like, God damn. I mean, you should. This is America. You should leave a tip always. Why?

Because it's our culture. Like, you got to help them out. That is not our culture at all. Our culture. Our culture. Look, I grew up tipping people and seeing people get tipped. My father was always a very generous tipper. Still is. I guess.

Start talking about your dad. Oh my god, did something tragic happen in the last week? Yeah, he stopped tipping tipping yeah yeah he's done but but like if they don't if they provide adequate service that is not a tip you don't get a tip for like one it's like steve buscemi said it best in that fucking like and and uh and what reservoir dogs if you go above and beyond you get a a tip. A tip is a bonus. It is a cherry on top.

If otherwise, include it in the goddamn price. Leave a dollar on the table. I'll give you my fucking dollar because you're paying for my food, but you're not going to change my mind about this shit. Tiniest fucking violin and all that shit. I agree with it. Then you tip them.

Well, now we've moved to a restaurant rather than a DoorDash employee who drove to like fucking Zaxby's or something. Let me, let me come to the table here and meet you halfway because I'm a hundred percent in favor of tipping for delivery people, waiters, waitresses, that shit,

the whole, like, like if I go to pick up chicken wings and like I drive to the store to pick it up, I will not tip them. I drove there. I'm picking up a thing. There's the tip line on it, but it's like, I'm going to tip $5. What am I tipping you? The iPad operator?

Yeah. What? Oh, that's very common here. They're getting greedy. That's very foreign to me. Here's what they do. You'll go into a kebab place. Starbucks is a good example.

I don't go there because I make good coffee. But I go to this pita place. It's one of those places where they shave that big hunk of meat and everything. Anyway, they just hand you your food. And then they flip an iPad around. And it's like, you want to tip 20%, 30% or 45%. And I'm like, I'm not tipping you any fucking thing,

dude. Like, what did you just do? You didn't even make the goddamn food. He cut, he's the one that like carved it off the thing. That dude put it in the box. And this is the guy who told me it was ready.

You just, you didn't do shit. Like, fuck you. You're getting nothing. I've always heard like, have you ever like on Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares or something, a lot of those restaurants

just put it into the restaurant or something. It doesn't go to one guy. Is that a thing? That happens, but it's considered stealing in bad form. It's against the law. You can't take waitresses' tips. That usually becomes a fiasco when they do that shit. It may vary from state to state,

but the thing about waitresses is they don't get paid real minimum wage for some reason. Usually they're getting like two dollars an hour or like three dollars an hour or maybe even less. And because they're expected to make so much on tips. And if I go to a diner, I'm thinking of a diner specifically where like she's coming back and forth with coffee because, man, you're getting tipped well. You could easily get a $15, $20 tip on scrambled eggs and bacon or something if you've just been kind. I'm probably there because I'm up too goddamn early. You're nice to me. Yeah, you keep the coffee coming.

You could easily get a $15 or $20 tip, but I'm not going to tip that goddamn pizza guy who's not even a real pizza guy. All right? What does that mean? Back in the day, there was a guy whose job was pizza. Are you saying he's not Italian enough? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What were you talking about?

Bologna is not Italian enough? He's calling us pizza people. That's our word. he's calling us pizza people that's that's our word i think tipping tipping here feels like i think how it should be you know like whenever when when i give someone like a good tip like uh i don't know like i don't know what the equivalent would be like so i always tip the girl that does my nails and the girl that does my eyelashes and that's like a that's met with like whoa are you sure you don't have to like like for not that much like if it costs like 50 i'll do like i take, are you sure? You don't have to? Not that much.

If it costs like $50, I'll take $3.20. It's wild. Nice. I would totally be that fucking goober-ass American who went to Europe and was tipping because I'm so trained at restaurants that that is what you do to a server. Honestly, if a server is absolute

dog shit i'm like you bitch fucking 15 like it has to be i've not tipped i think twice in my life and one of the times was because they literally did not bring me the food i ordered they didn't like tell me stuff wasn't available they like took my order and then came back 20 minutes later and said we don't actually have that like you've got to adjust that you've got to adjust that because that's that's way too much look if they're decent at least minimum 20 percent if i read something the other day someone was pointing out that because every time we see a spider we fucking stomp it out we are uh we're making spiders become sneakier so we're just we're forcing spiders to become sneakier and more reclusive the same thing's true with lazy waitresses if you tip a dumb shitty waitress who smells bad or something she's just gonna go on

being a waitress thinking she can cut it in this world and not adjust her like hygiene and her like um i don't know like like her skills as a waitress right you're gonna have stinky kyle's darwinism eugenically policy this is good i had a waitress logically it makes sense i've once had a waitress i once had a waitress i probably told this story before but it's been so long ago i can barely even remember but i remember we were at an Outback Steakhouse, a fine restaurant, and our waitress had either stepped in shit or shat herself 100%. Hopefully the former. I don't know.

I don't know. It smelled like dog shit, and that was the conversation my girlfriend and I were having. I was like, that smells like dog shit to me. I don't think it's people poop. That's the best kind of shit you could hope for in that and my girlfriend was like but it's so strong it's like it's coming out of her not just off of her shoes and i'm like maybe she's eats dog food maybe she eats dog food and she shit herself what would you recommend ma'am uh a big bowl of alpo this is what i enjoy

but like on top of that i remember it was poor service. I've had poor service to an Outback twice where I've made a scene. At Outback Steakhouse Snow West. Like maybe I'm white trash but I used to live really close to an Outback and I like their steak. Maybe I'm white trash but I used to live in a trailer park.

I don't know. I feel like y'all are making fun of my Outback Steakhouse trips but that's a fine steak. Dude fun of my Outback Steakhouse trips. I'm not. That's a fine steak. Outback and Red Lobster are both the bomb, and they get ripped on for no reason. I don't know why they get ripped on. They're acceptable dining establishments.

Red Lobster gets ripped on justifiably. They don't have enough meat in their crabs. I don't know who you fucking millionaires and billionaires are out there that every night you're hitting up a different five-star restaurant and spending $300 a plate. Red Lobster is not cheap. They charge just as much for the fucking crab, and you break it open, and sometimes it's like,

was there a ghost crab living here? Where's the meat? I got mine already. That bread is priceless. And the bread does all the heavy lifting. My dad's food showed up. The waitress came and said, how's everything look? He says, looks like somebody got to mine already.

Your dad and my grandpa would get along so well. Because my grandpa is like a southern Missouri farmer. And when he goes out to eat, he will make clear what he thinks. Not in a rude way, just in a matter of fact, country fella. And this woman came out of this. We went to a steakhouse a few years ago and it was an expensive ass steakhouse. And he ordered a meatloaf from this really nice steakhouse we were going to because he just likes it. And she brought it out and gave it to him.

He had like a couple bites and she came out later and was like, how is everything like picking up all of our finished trays and like seeing his not eating hardly and he's like shit i'd rather have a dip of skull than what you just gave me as he was putting skull in and i'm like damn like you i know he's telling the truth because he's not a picky man he was eating fucking pig feet in the 30s or whatever the fuck like i went in the 20s he was born in 1906 he's 116 i went to outback one so i had that time where the waitress smelled like poop and it was also bad service and i talked to a manager about her i said i said look i don't want to embarrass her i lowered my voice i was like she smells really bad and i bet you know that and maybe you can't do anything about it, but it's repulsive to me. I was like, I'm not going to eat now. I was like, my waitress smells like poo, sir. And like went through that whole thing with him. That wasn't all that mad about because it seemed like somehow or another they

had hired a homeless lady and they didn't know it until it was too late. But then another time I went there and I sat next to the bar and nobody wanted to wait on me. The lady gave me my menu and sent me to the table, like the hostess. And then I saw the waitress, because I could see through the bar into the back area.

I could see them look at us, my lady friend and I, and then say something to one another and then sort of go their separate ways, but not towards me. And a long time went by. 18, 19 minutes. Something like that went by.

It's a long time. You're so resentful. I don't have a drink. I haven't spoken to anybody. I'm just sitting there with this goddamn menu. I don't know what they serve at Outback Steakhouse. Oh, is there a new Bloomin' Onion? Get the fuck out of here. so eventually i'm like piping mad and uh um and i'm talking to her i'm trying

to get her to be like to slow me down i'm like this is bullshit she's like this is bullshit so now she's giving me like permission to go off now. Right. And I'm just like, so the next time they walk by, I go, cause they've been walking past me like these waitresses, like three, four of them.

Cause that's what it takes to run an outback. And they have to go past me to get in the kitchen. So she walks past and I went, Hey, she goes, well, yeah, I'm here.

You didn't see me. I know you saw saw me because i saw you talk to that redhead over there point at us and say something 20 minutes ago she's like oh has you not been served she's like you know i haven't i want the manager now she's like but i'm a manager i want the manager and she's like and she goes and like gets manager. And I like go through a whole thing. He's and he's like I was like, she doesn't want to wait on me. She has some kind of personal problem with us. I don't know. Like, like, and I look at my girlfriend, like, do y'all know each other?

Like, is there something I don't understand here? Like, like, I know they don't. But I'm saying I'm putting a little performance for the manager. I'm just like, she doesn't want to help us. I was like, could you please, sir? We're really hungry. We've been here for 20 minutes just like, she doesn't want to help us. I was like, could you please, sir? We're really hungry. We've been here for 20 minutes, and this lady doesn't want to help us at all. She won't.

He's like, she's like, I will. I was like, no, you don't. And no, you can't anymore. And finally, he assigns us a new waitress who's being great. And I tipped her $100 fucking dollars. Because I hated that woman so fucking much. I hated that woman so fucking much. There's nothing that makes me madder than like then like i don't know being disrespected for no reason like i'm

not asking for a lot just bring me my coke just talk to me like like i didn't like being ignored at an outback steakhouse and i was ready to fight over it if the manager had not come back and said good things we could have fought it out back it could have gone that that that like it wouldn't be the first fight it out back it wouldn't be no it wouldn't it'd be my first fight in an outback i haven't been in a fight in so goddamn long what's it i think taylor's last i don't want to get in a fight ever again was the last time you even had anything physical when you like picked that dude up at the college parking lot yeah yeah when i removed that that miscreant from the uh the parking spot and that wasn't a fight it was just me picking up a college kid and moving yeah but you know it was a physical altercation but it wasn't like at no

point at all or did was he just like uh he like he kicked a little bit when I picked him. So basically, here's the story. This is like years, like probably six years ago now. Me and my dad and my stepmom were all driving down to Mizzou University of Missouri to watch Mizzou football game, you know, SEC school. So, you know, very big football culture there. And we were all driving down there and i was sleeping in the car the whole way and my dad stepmom like we're driving

through this parking garage on campus and it's like getting clear like we're like seven levels up and it's like oh no because like every bit of road is taken like it's like we would have to drive miles and miles away and like uber back to the campus because it's that you know it's sec school and we pull up on like the eighth level and there's just an empty spot in front of us with a trash can in it and this like gangly probably six two to six three like skinny white guy frat guy clearly and i stop there and my dad like kind of wakes me up like i'm just now waking up and he's like you think taylor you think that spot's open and i was like the one with the guy in it i don't know maybe and my dad's like taylor go ahead and move that guy i love it i love it taylor's sleeping in the car they can't find a spot there's a kid protecting the spot for his frat and dad's like

awaken the murka he did he just like instructed me and before i knew what i was i was listening in the minivan the side door slides open yeah and so he tells me he's like uh go move that kid so we can park there and so and so i got out and i was like hey like trying to be courteous and i was like hey is that kid so we can park there and so and so i got out and i was like hey like trying to be courteous and i was like hey is that spot taken like giving him like the out situation so that he could ideally if it's like you know society he would go jigs up yeah it's open like that's what i genuinely thought would happen because that's what i would have done if i were at his position i'd be like telling my frat brothers like, yeah, I'll, I'll watch the spot.

But if push comes to shove, I'm not getting in a fight over a spot. Like I'm going to leave and then tell them that a security guy made me leave like something easy like that. But this guy was a tart. And so I said, Hey, is that open? You know, we're looking to park somewhere. And he goes, I'm saving it. And I was like, that's, that's not happening. Like that's not how this works you can't save spots and he was he kept like saying I'm saving it I'm saving it my frat brothers told me to save it and so I'm walking over to the space now and he's like holding this trash can like on the ground

like a just plastic trash can kind of like a cone and I was was like, let's move this man. Like we're going to park here. It's going to happen. And I was trying to keep it a little light. And I like grabbed the trash can and I'm a, you know, I'm a decently strong guy and I yanked it from him and he tried to like grab it back and pulled it back towards her. And I was like,

no. And I yanked it harder. I stole the trash can from him and then I moved it over to the side. And he went over and tried to grab the trash can again. I yanked it again and made clear, you're not getting the fucking trash can back. And then he ran his skinny body back into the middle of the parking space and did something like this as though this would make him heavier. It's better. It made him easier to pick up. Made him more dense.

And this whole time, there's now people behind my dad in the parking garage. And I'm like looking back to like get his like approval where I'm like, are you still on board for this? And my dad's like, move him. And so then I went up behind the guy and I grabbed around him like bear hug and then just leaned back and picked him up and dragged him to the side of the space. My dad starts pulling in i let the guy go he runs right in front of my dad's car halfway into the space and so i had to go pick him up again and then and then moved him and i held him until my dad was actually out of the car and uh the guy the guy was like bitching bitching and moaning oh i'm gonna be in so much

trouble i remember that now i remember it he kept saying i'm gonna be in so much trouble i'm gonna be in so much trouble and i remember saying like dude you're like i was you know i just picked him up and moved him but i remember also saying like you're not gonna be in trouble man like it's fine like you're i know like it's fine like i wanted to tell him like you're a frat brother this this problem in your mind's eye right now is not real he's like it's okay don't worry about it i know you're a pledge and you're a frat brother. This this problem in your mind's eye right now is not real. He's like, it's OK. Don't worry about it. I know you're a pledge and you're going to have to drink a bunch of vodka tonight.

Oh, God forbid. Like you're going to have to get drunk before a football game. But yeah, fuck that guy. Piece of shit. Are you sure you're right? I'm 100 percent right. You cannot save spaces in a public lot like that. It's rude.

It's disrespectful. It shows a total disregard for the social contract of parking i i i acknowledge your confidence but i'm still not sure that you're right i i i feel like you can save spots i remember at movie theaters all that you don't have to stand in a spot my mother would like we get like four seats next to each other i'm from a family of four and then like someone else would go get candy and they'd be like is that seat taken yes you know my husband's getting candy for the family he'll be back in a minute it just seemed like a social construct and everyone respected it you could just put your coat on the seat and people would be like ah that seat must be reserved for someone

who's not with them at the moment and then when you i in my mind i would just extend this to a parking lot if someone stood in a spot saying like ah this guy'll be here for in a second he's turning around whatever no no in a parking lot it is first come first serve it is such an important part of how parking works because once you open that door and now everyone can just reserve stuff people are just going to have cones and spots like people there was a human in the spot. Yeah, there briefly. A light? Think about what kind of human it was. He was the most he was being used as a parking cone. He was a disposable human

who had no choice. He was being ordered to stay there by his frat brothers. That's what happened. They were like, you stay here. I bet he got in trouble. I bet he did get in a little bit of trouble, but that's again, not my fault, not my problem. He's that kid that died of being forced to drink all that water that year. I hope not.

That was the water sickness kid. You see that every now and then, where I guess it's a hazing ritual to force those guys to drink a ton of water. After a while, you die of water sickness or something. Your blood gets too hydrated or something one of the facts at mizzou my freshman year got like kicked off for a couple years because some pledge brother got hit in the face with a shovel during like some kind of initiation it's like this isn't this isn't a prank guys like you're just attempting to murder someone

yeah taylor i googled it i googled it the top result says you're wrong attempting to murder someone. We call it shovel face Fridays. Taylor, I Googled it. I Googled it. The top result says you're wrong. The next like five say you're right. So state-based maybe? Yeah, so I'm right. Wait, wait, what? There's a law about saving spots? Zach put in the chat,

it's illegal to save a parking spot in NYC streets. That I Googled. I saw that on Google too. It's a scenario entirely. It doesn't matter if it's legal or not it's about consideration be clear so so what i think you might have to lean on the rules of that private parking deck right or was it a university deck it's a university parking lot so it'd be like a state of missouri one i guess so you'd have to see what the state of uh missouri state fucking uh athletic parkings but the law shouldn't come into it at all the legality doesn't matter it's just a simple act of consideration and private property so parking lots are private private private property if you're in like a walmart or whatever

so like when you even when you have like a car accident out there it's kind of weird to like get the police involved um i know like not too long ago i was part of a car accident out there, it's kind of weird to get the police involved. I know not too long ago, I was part of a car accident in a fucking parking lot, and the cops were just like, this is private property. It's kind of a private dispute. You said you did this.

He said he did that. I don't know. I'll write both things down if y'all want. There's really nothing they can fucking do. Taylor, almost every link says you're right, except the first one, which is weird that the top results the anomaly but missouri slowly joining the ranks of the cool kids states i think we're up there with the coolest kids because we have the now we have legal weed and we also have the most ridiculously like open gun laws of any state in the country so we get all the good gun laws and all the weed.

Who else is up there with Missouri? And Oklahoma might have like, all right, they don't have the cool weed like you though. I think maybe they got that medical like, like, uh, yeah,

you may be the Kings of freedom in Missouri. Now I think there might be, there's some crazy shit that I've heard about in Texas where they're trying to say that, um, like, like, uh,

they don't require tax stamps to have suppressors and create suppressors. And that's a whole pickle of its own thing. Texas is always trying to stretch that. It's a federal thing, right? Am I crazy? Yeah, but it is a federal thing. But Texas is saying, nah, it's a

Texas thing. Did you make that suppressor in Texas? Yes, I did. make that suppressor in Texas? Yes, I did. You going to shoot it in Texas? Sure I am. Well, sounds good to me, son. I can barely hear it.

That's what Texas is kind of saying. Kyle, your mic went out. But yeah, Texas is bold that way. I don't know. They like to stand on their own they don't consider themselves necessarily you're allowed to open carry swords there right you can do anything the magic country

you can carry swords almost anywhere here so like especially if alright so now we've got constitutional carry in a lot of places which maybe everywhere right which basically means that you can carry your fucking gun without a permit open carry yeah yeah no concealed carry wait you think that's common concealed carry is like without a permit my understanding was

that's what constitutional carry means right i mean you might be right i'm not i don't have real low confidence i just thought you needed a concealed carry. I thought that recently there was a thing about constitutional carry that happened. Obviously, it's not on the top of my news list because it doesn't really pertain to me. I thought anybody could just fucking... Permitless carry.

Yeah. Georgia has it. That's really popular. that's a lot of country or i'm sorry states yes sir what is the red one i can't read the it's permitless carry for residents only okay which is a which is you know makes some sense i suppose yeah they're not even the best dakota they're not they're this is the second best dakota they're closer to canada makes want to go to a dakota without a landmark i told someone from south carolina recently that they were from the second best carolina and they agreed with me no they totally are true at least they're not the

second best virginia because that place is the shithole of america everybody gives alabama a hard time and just ignores West Virginia. And it must be because there must be like, does the interstate go around West Virginia so that the common folk don't ever have to see what a West Virginian is like? What's the worst state? West Virginia. West Virginia?

West Virginia is one of the poorest states, right? So I was in West Virginia for maybe three days. I went up there to find some mountain man that like invented bullets and uh borrow his gun for a thing and everybody there was so poor and ugly they were poor and ugly i remember i've told this story before but we went into a walmart to get like gear to make a video and then and i was like i don't know i guess i noticed that like everybody in there was ugly and then we went to like this little steak restaurant i was like i don't know i guess i noticed that like everybody in there was ugly and then we went to like this little steak restaurant that was like i don't know a stone's

throw from the walmart and i the waitress was all had like a fucked up eye or something and i was i was like boys i i think have y'all seen anybody that like you would like even want to see naked here like like these are the ugliest people i've ever seen like like like if anybody i haven't seen anyone here that if they like whipped the tit out i i wouldn't do anything but look away and everybody was like there's a terrorist here we started looking around the restaurant right because it's a little kind of a crowded place it was a buffet so people are up and down everybody there was hideous and it was like really um you can tell when you're in a poor place the roads are shittier the the power lines infrastructure is they're all leany and like splintery you can tell that like these are 40 year old power lines and power poles and stuff like

i don't know that's what west virginia is in my memory. New Mexico is a pretty scummy place as well. I think that there are a lot of people in New Mexico who are very wealthy, who are enjoying the great benefits of that state and have huge swaths of land. But outside of those people who are cool and have nice places, I saw such squalor there that I thought we must be driving past a movie set i saw lean twos and i saw a man walk out of one and i was like where are we there's that in new mexico way colder than i expected it to be now i know i just drove through it's like i live there or anything but unbeknownst to me the rocky mountains are quite wide no one tells you this no one knows this no one knows how wide the rocks is up and over i drove across the appalachian mountains many times it's kind of fun you go up you over it takes a couple hours it's a blast even the interstates are curvy if you go

fast enough it's cool rocky mountains they take days to drive through it is a big deal i i'm like all right i'm leaving the trailhead now i'll go downhill it'll start getting warmer like 16 hours later i'm still in the goddamn rocky mountains the elevation is still 5 000 feet deep into new mexico i mean it it's cold as heck in new mexico i didn't i expected it to be a warm desert. It's not. Something about geography I want to ask Finn. So I know you're in the UK. I don't know shit about it. If you're going to vacation in the UK, like where do you go? Or do people in the UK not like go on vacation to other parts of the UK?

They go to like France or Italy or something. Brighton. It's the only bit of the UK that's good. I don't care what anyone else says. There's like old bits of the UK that are really pretty. Like if you like old architecture and everything, but the only good city is Brighton. It's so cute.

It's like one of those ones where they don't have, there's no, you're not allowed to build skyscrapers. There's a limit to how high you can build. They built a tourist attraction there, which is just a big pole that takes you up. And everyone that lives there fucking hates it. And it's great to hear the residents talk about it because it's this beautiful city and then a big pole like right

on the seafront it looks so god i'm ugly it's called brighton well if i go to the uk that's where i'll visit brighton yeah there's some nice bits it's so do you live there and if not why not i live in birmingham actually i was going to ask when you were talking about um birmingham is awful if you i know you've got some UK viewers and they all just went, but it's when you guys were talking about fights, I wanted you to prove a point for me once. I've got a friend who lives in America

and he was planning to come around to the UK and does a lot of traveling. And he was talking to me. I was saying how shitty Birmingham is. There's a lot of stabbings, crime rates high. It's a little boring and cold. And he was... I was like, yeah, you might get mugged, especially looking like

me, you know, so I might want to fuck with you. And he's just so hyped up about the concept of maybe getting into a mugging. He's so excited about it because he genuinely thinks he can win. Well, he's an idiot.

Everybody is. Thank you. They're definitely going to have – All right, if they don't have a knife, what the fuck do they have, right? Like, they've always got a knife. They 100% of the time have a knife. What if they try to mug you with a rock? That'd be terrifying.

You're looking at them like a brick. Can you imagine that? A guy's's just like give me your money he's got a fucking brick in his hand he's got that rock like you call that a rock this is a rock boy bruv i'm gonna fuck you up with this brick and the police can be like you got your bricks license i don't i don't care who it is. I can fucking... I can win if I have a knife. If I've got a knife, I don't care who I'm going up against.

If they don't have armor, I win. What if they also have a knife? Do you feel like you're knifed? Then you both lose because you'll both get stabbed at least once. Everybody's seen that video of the guys fighting with Sharpies in the t-shirts. Nobody wins a knife.

What, Wings Made? They did Wings Made. Oh oh that was a good video yeah that that that taught me a lot about sword fighting yeah look you can knock wings and his like athleticism yeah no wings and another guy of comparable athletic prowess both grabbed sharpies and decided to test that theory. Then they tried to stab each other while wearing white t-shirts. No. Yeah. Oh, yes. I didn't see this. Yeah, yeah.

We can play it right now. Please. I want to see this. Zach, let me know if you can find it. Wait, wait. Did Wings take down his channel or all his videos or something? Nah, that one's got to be up there. Don't worry.

That one's been re-uploaded somewhere. That one exists. You can't scour that off the internet. I like the video. I like it too. There's nothing embarrassing about that video. It's one of his top 25 videos he's ever made. Did it go

well? Sure, I bet it has 100,000 views. They both genuinely tried to win, which is to mark the other guy without being marked. And they kind of proved that it's pretty tough to do. Yeah, if you get in a knife fight, you get stabbed. Dude, poor Wings.

Just every time you search his name on YouTube, it's just like a sad story. Like 18 hours ago, a Wings Tings video, video 20k views and it's just a picture of him like sad and it says there goes 150 hours of my life and it's just called wings of redemption gets tested for covid pisses kelly off and loses his favorite diablo character how did he lose a diablo character i don't know but it's like, it cannot be healthy for him to be online seeing this stuff. I understand why he tries to avoid it, because if this were

me and I was the person of interest, I would never go to these channels. I would be out of sight, out of mind. I don't want to even imagine how many people are laughing at me. A lot of people might just say, hey, close your laptop, look away, etc. He's in the popularity business.

He needs to be liked or he needs to be interesting. And that's not the same as liked. But when you're in that spot, you think you're in the popularity business. You're in the get everyone to like you and enjoy your content business. And so you can't just look away and not know what's happening, not know what people are thinking. It's your job. I've just searched that same thing, Taylor. It's you can keep scrolling.

It's within one day. There's maybe 20 videos. And then you scroll through all of those. And then it shows this channel. It's popular. Yeah. The amount of views, some of these just... The entire channel content is just reposting Wings videos.

And it's... This guy's got four videos with 20,000 views in the last day. Yeah, dude. There's something with YouTubers like that. Twitch streamers... Have you seen the market for Twitch clips as well? Because that's something that, dude, so a lot of people find

me through clips. A lot of people find me through random clips of streams and a lot of the thumbnails about me look kind of similar because it's like a mutual bullying between viewers and Twitch chat. But all of mine are like, fucking, we convincedn to wear a

bikini and it's like it's me fucking sat in a thumbnail something like that yeah you are uh i i have seen many of those posts that kyle was referencing and they always make me laugh where it'll be like check out this hot gamer girl and then then someone will be like, nice. And they'll be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's a bro. And they're like, what? Not even like trans? It's like, no, he likes pussy, dude. Now you're gay.

You know how we tricked you into being gay now? Ah, you got me again. There's a huge meltdown. And there's an argument about sex versus gender. And then the true alpha is being like, I don't care if he is a guy. I don't know if he's a guy. Oh, fuck it. That's a cute one. They're like, no, no, he doesn't like guys, though. I'll make him. It's like, have you ever seen that old

4chan post where it's just the guy who's like, I'm straight, so anything that makes my dick hard is a woman. I don't know if you ever use it, but have you ever used 4chan much? Yeah. I've been on there.

I've never posted on 4chan. You're making it sound like it's editing software. Are you familiar with the... No, I've never posted on 4chan. I used 4chan. What? I just made a joke. Is it not Filbert Child porn anymore? I don't look for it. I just made a joke. But yeah, it is. Is it not filled with child porn anymore?

I don't look for it. I wouldn't know. If you go to slash B and scroll. I'm getting the tutorial on how to find child porn. Slash B is like the big part of at least back in the day. That's where it was. For some reason, B stands for random. I don't know why.

The worst one don't react too fast to this but the absolute worst board on 4chan is LGBT it's full of people that are scary all the ones on B

or something like that they're all just someone will post my photo and then it's a bunch of dudes jerking off together But I'll help you beat dude. It's like I've never been in like a cat fight before like it's just They fucking tear you apart Being a girl's fucking hard man Chance known for being rough on girls that was where the whole like there's a theory that like tits or get the fuck out was like born on 4chan as far as I know

and the whole thing is like hey in real life girls have power because there's some remote possibility they might fuck you but on the internet where you can't get fucked you either show your tits or you have no value to me. You can't come on here and just exercise pretty privilege because I don't give a fuck about your pretty privilege if you don't show me your tits.

So show your tits and get the fuck out. I don't even have that power. Tits with timestamp or GTFO? Everyone knows the rules on 4chan. I'm on poll right now. Just nothing out there. Just normal 4chan stuff like Nazis are great. And they're like, I agree.

That was the acid guy on 4chan. There was that one dude that kept, he was in England and he kept threatening to throw acid in my face. He was fun. I miss him. Oh my God. No, he doesn't sound fun. No, what a jerk. Well, at least...

I can... He's a sticky poo-poo head. I don't need to go too far. Bit of a no-good Nick. Bit of a ruffian. Even those guys didn't like him. Everyone was like, oh, there's the acid guy again. No one else was in support of this one dude, but he was in every thread.

Just one guy making threads about you. Let me see. I bet I a pick a thread about you now on you which one on b on poll which board uh it's usually i don't know it's on everything that's like um i'm not posted there as much as i was because i think that i've had my moment in the sun there but oh my god you the thing i used to do which is massively unhealthy and i highly encourage you to do it is you can go in and search your name on a different website, and it will search the entire site for any time someone mentions it.

And it's great. On 4chan? Yeah. What is the site called? Do you want to? I think it's find.4chan.org, and you can type into a bar, just anything. So if I type in... Some things are better left unknown. Yeah. I'm fine... Some things are better left unknown.

Yeah. I'm fine not knowing that. Kyle, you're just a mute. There was a website called Kiwi Farms, which is basically like 4chan, but completely unmoderated or something like that. And I think that's been yeeted now. That's just completely gone because I think they doxed

and really fucked up some trans girl's life. I saw news about their site and i like went to it and it has like the most aggressively bad ui and i was like i don't even want to begin to know what this is about like i don't like there's like when a html page breaks and you just get all the raw yeah it looks like that but it like it mostly was like oh it's you know making fun of internet personalities or lol cows and then like i saw like all the top ones and it's like i don't know who most of these fucking people are and it seems like you need like an odyssey level of backstory to understand like what the jokes they're even making mean like no thanks we ever watched

me on 4chan three days ago i I'm a lot more relevant than I expected. Was it something nice? I don't know. I didn't get some video about me in Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six. I don't know. I didn't dive deep. Look, I just saw my name. I got the ego pump and left.

I just saw the name. Yes, the coolest community online knows who i am i remember back in the day like going to 4chan and like it seemed to be more like i mean i never posted but it was like more of a prank thing and like silliness and that kind of vibe but like offending people who can't be offended like you know the attempt i guess yeah just trying to be offensive for the sake of being offensive was a big thing i'm not sure i'm really out of date on my 4chan but uh putting sharpies in your butt was a kind of a

4chan thing yeah that was a long time ago yeah it's a lot easier to say to put three sharpies in your butthole and send a picture than just write the number three. What do you mean? Agree to disagree. Did you watch 30 Rock, right? No, I've never seen it. You know who Tina Fey is, though? The actress who's in it. You ever notice the scar she has on her face?

Yes. She got knifed, right? She got knifed as a child! Holy fucking shit! I just started watching 30 Rock for, I think, the first time sequentially or actually watching it. It's pretty good. It's a lot better than Parks and Rec,

if you ask me. I noticed she has that scar on her face. They try to shoot around it as much as they can, but she's got kind of like a right here. She's got this big scar. And I Googled immediately. I was like, I bet there's a backstory. When she was like five years old, she was in her front yard and some man walked up and was like, hey, girl, come here.

Slash and like slashed her face and ran away. She's really sensitive about it. and like slashed her face and ran away she's really sensitive about it like she doesn't if she meets something like some people will just completely pretend it's not there and that's what she prefers some guys will think they're like i don't know breaking down the kind of like awkward barrier and they ask her like hey what happened to your face and to her don't ask always a good question to ask anyone really really. She does look a lot like Sarah Palin. Doesn't she? Like,

spit and image, doppelgangers. Or actually, how's that Sarah Palin holding up? To be fair, the hair and the glasses do 80% of the work. Yeah, true. The glasses are big. But I feel like the face is doing work, too. Like, in the body type, she's really a good match.

There's a line in Parks and Rec where they call her Hatchet Face. I think it's an episode where like she hears someone call her a cunt behind her back. And then she has this whole kerfuffle about that's the word I don't like to be called. And then they're like there's like this train of like insults that they throw at her comedically. And one of them was hatchet face. And I was like, maybe I'll call her that one. They're like,

there was also a great episode where there's Tracy Morgan is in the show. And he's, he's, he's might be the best part of the show. And there's a, there's a character who's a writer. Who's a very like, I don't know.

The only thing black about him is his skin. I would say he's like a Harvard graduate. That's all it takes very very uptight carlton that's all it takes to be a carlton kind of guy and uh um he he's reporting tracy morgan for calling him a ninja and uh he's like i was offended and like tracy and alec baldwin speaks up on tracy's behalf he's like i think that think that a lot of African-Americans have taken that word back and taken a lot of the hurtfulness and the meaning away from it and made it their own. And he's like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

And he calls him like, but he hits the R hard. And then Tracy reports him because now he's offended by the hard R being called. It was a great episode. It's good writing. I like that show a lot. Did they say the word on the channel? No, there were pussies about it.

They were pussies. And they didn't even say cunt. See, that takes me right out of the story. And they didn't say cunt either. I guess it was like more of a primetime show. They did say faggotron in an episode, which was hilarious, though. It was a scene about words they can't say. But she's like, what? I can't call him fagatron in an episode which was hilarious though um i it wasn't it was a scene about

like words they can't say but uh but she's like what i can't call him fagatron no well you can it's kind of funny but you might get in trouble for it i uh i i there's so much happened this week i really uh i wrote down a bunch of things here please you want a book i like it let me make sure I'm not showing anything crazy. Just the back of it you can show. Oh, my dog got it. Did your dog damage your leather notebook?

This is the old one. This is the new one. This is... But he also damaged this one, but it just makes it look more weathered, so I don't mind. It does. Looks like you keep spells or something. There are spells in that one.

That's what those are for. This is your ideas for new racial epithets, right? Yeah, there's lots of good stuff in here. So do you want Zelensky, UFC, surprisingly one of the biggest shows on television that you probably haven't even heard of, or Nick Cannon's baby's names. I want to hear the Zelensky thing because I have one. Man, Zelensky was – Take us down the list.

So day before yesterday, Zelensky was supposedly only a few hundred meters from the front lines with the troops, with a big Ukrainian flag, and all the troops were riding stuff on it. And then the next day, they send one of the Air Force One planes. It's only Air Force One when the president's on board, technically. So they send Air Force Two or whatever it is away. They sent it to Ukraine and picked him up in it and uh and flew him over and then he's in the white house the next day and then the that night he's addressing congress it was really interesting to see i have not seen the speech yet but i've seen the reactions to it i saw that um gates and um

and um blondie um marjorie taylor green yeah um my my uh representative uh a matter of fact um sat through some parts of it and refused to clap however they did stand for others um so so um i think that uh it was a really good thing that happened he apparently spoke very eloquently and uh referred to the aid he's like he's like don't think of what you're doing for us as charity you know you're investing in democracy and safety and global peace and freedom etc etc etc uh seemed like he moved everyone and uh i think that it sent a scary message to putin i think it i think that cast it looked bad if you're putin to see all of congress kind of standing together outside of those two jabronis

and sort of agreeing and sort of clapping and because they're the purse right they're the ones who are going to decide are we going to keep sending tens of billions of dollars over there to keep you to keep the uh the Russians at bay and uh it's got to look scary if you're if you're Putin to see that because that has to be his last hope that that he can somehow splinter our Congress and influence them in some way and and cut the purse spring the purse strings that are affecting that war so dramatically yeah I don't know what it is with the Republicans at least some Republicans not liking Ukraine I've seen a bunch of them upset about what he wore have you seen this yes of course i was wearing like the same green thing as always yeah he was wearing a green what looked to me like a sweater he's always

am i on target with that yeah he's wearing his ukrainian fucking nike um like like like he's trying to look like like a military field guy is what he's uh he's wearing that vibe yeah he's wearing his casual shit he's got his he's got He's got some ATAC boots or whatever. He wore that to meet the president. He wore that in the White House. Do you see Biden put his hand on his ass? That photo? Oh, fuck, man!

Come on, you're too easy to buy into this shit. You get fooled easily. No, it's totally believable that Biden would just not thinking like put his hand there oh for a sec come on i i saw it and i saw that and i was like ah you can't even snopes me on this one like i saw it for half a second and it looked funny man oh it was funny and it's believable and and i bet he did it behind the scenes that's when he gets his ass squeezing

yeah i sent you guys that message of them sitting in the Resolute Room or whatever the fuck and I thought I had a funny caption. Nobody fucking lulled at me at all. I went, Dear Diary, today I wrote, it's Zelinsky and Biden sitting together and I wrote, Dear Diary, today I met the big guy.

Nobody laughed. Nobody said anything. I was like, alright, I'll just keep my little thought i see it now i totally didn't see it i'm sorry my little my little music yeah that's not real no of course not no of course not now that i've looked at it for more than half a second it's like how long would his forearm have to be he's got one of those fake hands in there i love those like the ai gen stuff like that some of the you know most of those fake hands in there. I love the AI gen stuff like that. Most of those, and the AI image generation stuff, have rules of what

you're allowed to make, but then some people make ones that they don't have rules. So you can get a ton of cool stuff. Oh, have you seen the chat bot they made? Have you talked about that before? Have you seen it? No way, the GPI? Yeah, that one. You can just

ask it anything and it will know the answer you could like it's strangely original like it's like speaking to a human just upgraded it's really weird have you not seen that it's nice i've seen it but i haven't used it is you have to pay for it or is it free you can just go on it it's so great it's um like i so i i was i was fucking around with it before and i said i gave it the prompt I'm going on a podcast with FPS Russia and what he's game attack. Sorry Taylor and what question what questions should I ask and It gave me tons like what yeah, so it knows Chat GPT is that it's chat open AI and you'll it if you just search that. It just says OpenAI chat. I think it's such a big thing.

It gave me tons, and then one of them was scary. It knows so much information. One of the questions is, in 2013, you were indicted on charges to illegally purchase and transport firearms. Can you tell us more about how that impacted your career? It knows an awful lot, but some of them are sort of like,

what advice would you give to people looking to create content on youtube and they get well so it goes it's nuts you can ask it for video ideas you can say like hey i'm a gaming channel that does call of duty what should my next video title yeah that's a i've came up with a good amount of like my last video maker do that i saw a content maker do that i can't remember exactly like tarkov or something he's like i asked the ai what kind of video i should make it they thought i should make this one so here we go and i can't remember specifically what it was but oh that's really neat i'm gonna play with that later it's it's real fun it'll it'll at least give you one

good idea i want to mess with one of the uh art AIs because that looks like it's going to just put artists out of business because it seems like you can just... A lot of them just have to do with big tits and renaissance attire. And I think it's tremendous. I think that's great. That looks so cool to me.

That's the coolest little bit of tech on the AI side that I've seen in a long time. They released Dali 2. That's now a public thing, and it's great. It usually does stuff of just like... It's great at making an image look completely real. Someone took a photo of it, not quite, but that's usually what it does best. So you can use it for a ton of stuff. For content creators, it's great like we needed like just a not shutterstock photo of a room full of

full of cardboard boxes so you just generate 50 and one of them's good for a thumbnail it's great yeah that's great woody what we did i don't i didn't hear what you said um what did you think about zolinski i don't know wearing the uh the sweater and the casual stuff. And by the way, they brought that Ukrainian flag into Congress there that all the soldiers had signed and everything. Pelosi's over him and everything. Not necessarily Republican leaders, but like Republican thought leaders. I know Charlie Kirk was Tucker Carlson, Tucker Carlson. They're ripping on his outfit. And I see it as the next tan suit bullshit nonsense like if you're mad

at zelinski because he didn't wear a suit which is what they're upset about um it's like why are you so anti-ukraine why are you pro-russia how are you attacking this guy yeah there's the outfit um he just looks it's wartime casual that's what he's supposed to wear so it's kind of hot right i don't know am i wrong the no i mean she's all right i would i would love to like you think kamala's hot i mean she's in the world of politics that's the world i want to no no those both those two gals up there nancy pelosi has just her tits must be so heavy oh god they're so heavy i don't shit i look young Pelosi. She used to be hot. Oh yeah, we looked at this just the other week.

We were just talking about how big her tits are, and she does. In credit, I don't know about her policies, but I love... We go through this so often. We go to the pictures of her in school and everything. She's got those big mommy milkers, as Taylor likes to say.

It's the best thing about her god damn that's just not the greatest picture of her that's just the worst to be fair she's with jfk so that makes it cool i'm fine with this picture because he's with jfk look at jfk that dog he knows what he's thinking he knows one of those titties he honks one of those titties that's that's what he's i'm said. I'm going to honk those tits later on. I'm going to play with your giant boobs. She was pretty. You're not going to let me because

I'm the president. You know what? You're going to suck my dick not because it is hard but because I tell you to. Because I like it. I'm going to quickly go grab a drink I don't know if turning my camera off works so I'm just this I'm wearing just

lingerie so just give me a minute here I'm gonna grab a drink he's just wearing lingerie just dick dick hanging out oh I saw his asshole

you wish all you audio people you might want to like tune Sorry, fans. No one's more disappointed than me. I saw his asshole! You wish. All you audio people, you might want to tune in because we all saw Finn's asshole there. I'm sorry. I'm sure this is censored for you fans. We have to go back and censor it. We're going to put a bubble there. It'll say

censored. Yeah, yeah. But we, of course, are looking straight into the man's ass. I can't believe just it winked at me i like it when he does that i mean i'm not complaining what are ufc pay-per-views in 2023 80 a pop now i know all that up from 75 they they just lost me now like i'm not even gonna pay for the good ones anymore like you're just fucking with me now like you're gonna throw it up nah get out of here i'm not even gonna pay for the good ones now like i got enough complaints about the ufc without you raising the price on me they should have lowered the goddamn price yeah i'm not gonna do that ever dude for those out there who don't watch ufc i apologize for ufc rantings but know this. This doesn't matter if you like UFC or not.

It is dripping with advertisements every time you watch a pay-per-view event. You're paying $80 now for the event, plus you're already subscribing to a service for the privilege to even buy the pay-per-views. You can't just go buy them if you're not an ESPN Plus subscriber. And then the mat, the the ring is covered with ads every time they present a statistic to you oh this is leroy jones he's got the strongest overhand on the east coast brought to you by modelo for the for the badass and all of you and brought two minutes and 35 seconds in the round brought to you by the corn nuts, whatever, timer clock at the bottom. This is the Monster Energy

whatever, the shorts that he's wearing. It looks like he's coming down with a Monsanto concussion. It's like, man, y'all are making money hand over fist here, and the product isn't getting better. The presentation isn't getting better.

You know what I mean? You're doing so many Apex events. No, the product's getting better, right? Because people are getting better at fighting. Absolutely not. That's not what makes the product good. That doesn't make the product better. They could find two bums on the street, and I might like that fight just as much.

No, no, no. I'm talking about production value. I'm talking about better graphics. I'm about a better camera work i'm talking about better camera technologies i'm talking about maybe advancing the sport somehow maybe take some of that money and buy one of the other organizations and get all their goddamn fighters like go buy one or whatever why is amazon allowed to have their own fucking fight you should start watching uh start watching that barstool one where it's like midgets fighting or like a guy called like the terror of west virginia verse like actual rapist or like whatever their troll names well it's it's real frustrating so i'm just gonna

fucking watch streams from now on um like like i'm so sick of them just like i feel like you're taking advantage of me as a consumer at this point. I'm happy. I love their fight night cards, the free cards that they put on ESPN+. ESPN is 100% worth of value. You get a lot of free fights every month. I would guess it's 45 free fights a month, something like that, because every card has, I don't know, six or eight. I may have overshot it with that number, but it's a bunch.

It's a couple dozen free fights a month. I'm not paying anymore. I'm not paying, six or eight. I may have overshot it with that number, but it's a bunch. It's a couple dozen free fights a month. I'm not paying anymore. I'm not paying $80 a month. It's not worth it, especially if there were zero ads, if they never mentioned Modelo or The Rock or a movie that's coming out. Conor McGregor's coming back. He needs a fight that he can win. He hasn't won since once once

i kind of gregor want to fight 2016 i don't know it's something else it's something stupid like that they put him up against patty the baddie so you're gonna watch this patty the baddie guy probably get his ass kicked but maybe not maybe he'll beat conor mcgregor and make a name for himself that's the headline of the card there's also another championship fight underneath it wait is there are you making this up as an idea yeah i'm trying to get kyle to buy it and you know when connor fights it's going to be so popular the streaming fights are going to be here's what would get me uttering oh okay yeah you know what if if um if i didn't think i was going to have a good stream then i then i might purchase a connor fight but here you know what they need to do do you remember it was like ufc i the numbers it was the one where they had the

live performances it was the one it's the only one from from the walkout songs they had um like like connor was fighting um oh yes he wasinead O'Connor to sing for him? Yeah, Sinead O'Connor sings this, like, I can't remember the song, but it was powerful, this Irish ballad. And there's, like, smoke and fog, and she's there. That was either Aldo or Chad Mendes. It was Mendes. And then Mendes comes out, and he's walking out to,

who's the guy from Stained who went solo and did a country career after that real popular. And he's singing, I grew up, he's singing a country song as some place you didn't, I know the words to it. I don't know the name to it. He's singing like a good old boy country song. That's like a good song. It was amazing. It was that that that might be the best uh pay-per-view ever aaron lewis aaron lewis is that guy i think we watched that one in movie theater no that the movie theater one was the one that had um um i think it was connor versus chad

it was the uh um it was um i don't think it was but i could be wrong because i think that's the one where robbie lawler was fighting that canadian psycho guy and uh it like ended the canadian guy's career he was beaten rory mcdonald rory mcdonald he was never the same after that beating like you rarely see that in the ufc that man was beaten until he could never be the same again. His bobblehead, the Rory McDonald bobblehead is a gruesome thing to look at. That was UFC 189 and Chad Mendes did fight Conor McGregor on that card. Soul damage.

He stood there and got slammed in the face for five rounds. When he quit, it was because his nose was crushed into his face and he couldn't take the pain anymore. He collapsed in pain. this is what i love about fighters the ufc fighters these guys they're in such good shape but not just that they're brave right they're brave there's a scene that not this fight nate diaz is fighting cowboy serrani both of these guys think they're gonna win the fight which i think is amazing. You don't have one

guy out there saying, I'm going to do my best, and the other guy's saying, I'm going to kick your ass. Both of them are like, it is ridiculous that you think you could beat me. You think you're a fucking gangster? You don't know what a gangster is until you've met me. They both believe this with their soul. Two rounds into it, Nate Diaz is

taking it to Donald Cerrone. He is winning convincingly. Donald Cerrone knows this. Nate Diaz knows this. And 50,000 people in the arena know this. Nate Diaz flips Donald Cerrone two middle fingers, right? Right before the third round comes out. And Donald Cerrone goes, yeah, you're right.

And then for the next five minutes he tries anyway it's the biggest like display of heart that i can one of the huge things it's really cool so the fight that kyle and i are talking about where robbie lawler fought rory mcdonald rory's like i think robbie's lip was split open and rory's nose is busted open and like he gave Robbie Lawler a Joaquin Phoenix in like round three and what and and if I had one I would be trying to keep my lips pursed so let me go though so so after the fourth round they're both exhausted Robbie Lawler tries to alpha Rory McDonald right he's beating him I think anyway and uh he stands there and stares him in the eye and rory mcdonald is like what you think you're the alpha right now and i'm

like motherfucker these guys are 20 minutes into their fight and they both still think they're the tough guy it is so impressive and so they didn't go back to the corners. The round ends and they just stare at each other. Yeah, like I can't wait for the next round. Dude, 20 minutes into a fight, I can't wait for the end of the fight. I'm tapping between rounds. I don't give a fuck. It's too long. It is an outrageous display of heart and soul and courage,

and that is what I like about a fight. You can find two bums from outside the arena that do that. And I think I like that fight just as much. Yeah, their faces were just masks of blood. I think I've got a picture of it. Yeah. Yeah. That was a great fight.

I wish that they did more of those things in uh in movie theaters that that was a real cool experience finn when you are dolling yourself up and so i imagine you don't just know how to do makeup you're having to watch tutorial videos when you're doing that and like watching tutorials and like matching things online are you like another day at the fucking office or are you enjoying it at all okay i was gonna say whatever you were gonna pivot to from the like man with a face of blood nose crushed it was gonna be so stupid it was going on me but the um no dude i've never watched a makeup tour video other than like just for funny the I learned purely from like girls Girls like friends and girlfriends at the time putting makeup on me and me going like okay

So that's how I do it and then friends online like correcting mistakes that I'd made So I sort of got a bit like uh pushed into this field this i had so many too many friends too many girlfriends at the time had uh you know i've got a bit of a feminine face that's sort of what they wanted to do with me but um yeah yeah but fucking getting ready getting ready for streams takes like 20 minutes so it's not too bad if i and also streams go really well if i know that i look good like this out i was showing i was talking about it before I'm not sure if you were away when I was showing this off but like this outfit's fucking

absurd can I scoop am I allowed to yeah yeah we'll put the box over in post we're not gonna do anything this isn't a dress this is Jesus Christ that That's hilarious. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. This dress... Do you shave your legs? Yeah. I'm getting them... Oh, shit. You want a life update? I'm getting them lasered.

Is that forever? That's a... It's not forever, but it's pretty... It's semi-permanent. It's like a decade. Definitely. Okay. And it's like... Leanmanent it's like a decade definitely and it's like it's like some of them

yeah yeah are you wearing girls or boys underwear under that i don't want to answer that's too you think he's gonna ruin his aesthetic he goes through a hundred different pieces of effort and then he's wearing fucking Calvin Klein boxers. I doubt it. Yeah, there was a moment on stream where someone, a big, like, I've got to, at some point you got to remind me to talk about this, but there's a new top donator in my stream and we broke Twitch's world record for the biggest private donation. And it was fucking wild. But he donated and he said like

hey I got a deal for you we can do one of two things either you you gotta pick I'll give you like five grand or I can like I'll give you five grand or something like that or it was like

you get I'll like we'll lobby stream you can go and wear like boxes do whatever wear guy clothes whatever or five grand and so i had to like answer on the spot i was like i'm just gonna be but yeah i were wait i'm confused five grand can't possibly be the twitch world donation record is 300 was the thing that we did? $300,000 do you remember the that last time we talked I we went back and forth fuck. This is good We went back and forth on them. Hey, how much money would it take you to get titty implants? Yeah Yeah, right. Yeah, and everyone gave their answer and there and you guys were I know a million five hundred thousand

I'm not sure what your guys answer was But mine was like I do it for like for a year, for only a year, not permanent. I'd do it for like 300K. And about a month, two months goes by, and someone shows up in my chat dropping about $1,000 at a time, which is uncommon, but it's not the rarest thing in the world. And he goes like, hey, how serious are you? He goes, hey,

how serious are you about that? Is that a meme? Or is this real? Dr. Lupo for one million? Fucking look at me, dude. How serious am I about this? Dr. Lupo technically is bigger, but then Twitch, the company, just matched a charity goal.

So it was just technically, I guess, but I don't know, corporation. Anyway, that's why I'm saying private. But so he said, how serious are you about? I'd probably do it. It'd be funny. And then my manager guy gets in a call with this darn editor, vets him. Turns out he's like a multi multi millionaire. And suddenly the whole like, would you rather becomes real?

Yeah. It's a very different thing. If I said like, hey, how much would you suck dick for? And you go like, ah, $20 billion. I wouldn't pay more than $1,000. But then if someone's right there with a briefcase of money and it's 100% real, it changes. It gets really off. Suddenly you're like, I can deal with this.

So wait, it was 300 grand for you to get implants? 300 grand for me to get implants. And I took like a couple days to consider it. And I ended up saying no, I didn't end up doing it. Would you have had free reign? Like if you said yes, and you're like i'm going for a cup teeny tits would he have been like veto powered no has to be at least here's my question he's gonna pay you 300 grand just to get them does he not even get to see him

you'd have to show him you're not that's a that's a courtesy on my part it wasn't expected but i would have my question man if you did go yes right in a hypothetical world you decide 300 grand is enough what size boobs do you want oh i'd go like c i'm five foot ten because like okay you know c like a supermodel you don't want small boobs okay i would go for smaller like athletic boobs No. Nah. It's not the in thing. I'd have gone for C cups, but I still got the 300 grand

though. That could have been amazing. Oh, well then best of both worlds. You don't have to get surgery and you have the money. I did like what's it called? I was talking about something else. After I declined the offer, I think that he just wanted to give me 300 grand at that point. So I said something like, so have you ever seen those dudes that can do a perfect like woman's voice?

They can do a girl voice and they create it. They're like troll people on fucking Omega or Valorant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's guys like that. And I was saying that that would boost my career if I could do that. Yeah, that'd be pretty cool. Do you practice a girl voice at all or no? Well, I said no.

This is stupid. It's cringe because I'd be sitting in my room making Mickey Mouse noises and I want to do it. And then fucking same guy pops in, $1,000 donor, and goes, how about that $300,000 for you to learn it? And I ended up saying yes to that. So I'm taking voice lessons now with an actual vocal natural vocal and i made a third of a million dollars and it's in my bank hell yeah hell yeah brother that rocks i'm so glad that you're just raking it in that's that

is great for you and this guy he's just 300 grand for you to be like oh teehee like like that's great so what are you doing with the money like now i i assume that i assume you're not blowing it are you investing it in stocks and real estate are you just putting it somewhere like bank actually i actually did a really smart thing which is i bought a house at the peak of the market and now it's crashing so that's right but that was it but uh the i'm doing a thing for charity uh at the end of the year and it's not i know when does this video come out saturday i can't tell you that but you can write it in the chat we don't leak i'm doing like uh it's gonna take me a minute's time but i'm doing like a big

thing for i'll write it after i'm after i tell you but i'm doing this like big big thing for charity at the end of the year i'm yeah i've been talking to a bunch of people how to do it right because it's like yeah but mainly mainly house mainly moving because this place is uh i can't the room looks quite big because it's like a white it's like a 13 mil it's 12 millimeter lens so the room looks quite big but i couldn't lay down like i'm'10", and I could just about lay between my desk and the wall over there. It's not a lot of room. It's a teeny little area then. Yeah, it's about as big as like...

You could fit a double bed in here lengthwise. Do you want to stay in England? I don't think... He's an American at heart. He wants to come to the land of the free and the home of the brave. I don't want to, but I'll have to. You could get a dope house in West Virginia. Give me a second.

I've got to do it again. You could get a dope house anywhere. You've said before you would move to America. You'd go to Texas if you did? Fuck yeah. I know so many Americans now that have big ranches, and they're like, hey, I bought a real AK, and it's automatic. You want to come fucking shoot it?

Fuck. Yeah, dude. That's a big enough reason for me to go. Dude. Something like, like America versus Europe is like the size of houses you get is so different here.

Like I'll see like a super nice house in England and it's millions of dollars. I live in a very normal Midwest middle-class house. Very normal. And it's bigger than multi-million dollar homes in England. A lot of them. It's insane. I'll put something in chat for you.

And it's how much the house cost that I bought and how big it is in square feet. I just want to get your rough reaction to it, okay? Jesus fucking Christ. square feet i just want to get your rough reaction to it okay jesus fucking christ you know what's funny that's a good price though that square footage 2700 square that's like maybe a teeny bit smaller than my house and my house was not was less than a quarter of that. Because I'm in fucking Missouri. That's unreal. I spoke to a doctor. Oh, Jesus, Zach, don't rub it in. I spoke to a doctor friend of mine and he was saying,

when I got out of residency or something and I was finally making money, I could finally move out of the shitty house that I just had to buy for, I don't know, like 40K out in Texas. By the way, way how big was that and he knew about my house he's like we don't have to go into it yeah it's like you you take 300 pounds you know convert that to freedom bucks like you can buy an a palatial estate in texas with a huge amount of land like if i were

a rich european or if i were like a rich streamer there's still like does it blow your guy's mind when there are like rich streamers who live in like la or new york or something it's like you could own a a noticeable part of iowa like you could just be that guy and we talked to tucker about this and tucker feels like there's enough business opportunity being there local that it's worth it but i i still don't quite see there's no way it's all online it it seems like well i'm sure he's going out a lot and and he has the music business too so that's different that makes sense for him yeah yeah i i think he probably he he feels at least he needs to be plugged in and he would know better than anyone but um but for most people like if if your thing doesn't require a lot of like pressing the flesh like jesus christ why aren't you in

missouri or georgia or north carolina or texas or tennessee or florida like any of those cheap ass places where you can get out of your tax get out of your state taxes in like half of those cheap ass places where you can get out of your tax get out of your state taxes in like half of those places anyway come to missouri the cool state now great gun laws great weed laws i think we're we're cooled in colorado now we're cooler well we don't have skiing okay colorado is cooler but barely if we had skiing we'd be unstoppable weeding guns you're winning oh amen of weed and. I'm so excited. Apparently all the dispensaries open up in February.

First week of February. I can't wait to just go buy a bunch of different strains of weed. Did y'all get those? I just realized y'all both have sweaters. Where did those come from? These are from Derek. I didn't get one. He didn't send you a Christmas sweater?

He sent them to all his favorite people. He sent them to... He said, I'm sending them to all the straight members of the crew. I got a... I got a handwritten Christmas card, too. Did you get the backpack? Backpack?

You loser! You didn't get it. No. Hold on. You didn't get it. Y'all are nuts. Hold on. You didn't get the handwritten letter. I'll let Woody do it. No, we got a backpack. You can see it.

It says Gorilla Mind on it. I literally talked to him yesterday. Zach got one too? Zach got one and you didn't get one. Zach got mine. Zach's got mine. That's what happened. Zach got a and you didn't get one Zach got mine Zach's got mine that's what happened Zach got a note that said Hey Zach you're a valued partner of GorillaMind.com

Well god damn I wonder if they sent it to my It's possibly sent to my old dad Little insulting he sent me a double XL You know what's that say I was uh yes I was gonna get

yeah I I'm I'm so upset no no I need to look at I think he sent it to my old address is what it is because I think I've only gotten one thing shipped there's a goddamn backpack.

Yeah, it's open, Woody. It looks funny that way. He looks like a kid who lost his books. Woody, we couldn't let the holidays go by without letting you know how much we appreciate you. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Lots of love. The Gorilla Mind family.

P.S. Fuck Kyle. Mine said the same thing. Actually, mine said family. P.S. Fuck Kyle. Mine said the same thing. Actually, mine said P.P.S. Don't tell Kyle. Oh, this hurts. You didn't tell Kyle. It's probably not because they fucking hate me. I literally, I was like, wait, what?

This is like that episode of The Office. There's an episode of The Office when Jim can't figure out why Kelly's so mad at him, but he realizes everyone has coffee mugs from her party they went to but him, and he's the only one without a matching coffee mug with his face on it. That's what it feels like. I was like, wait, y'all got the same sweater? I thought it was like ugly sweater night, and I was like, ah, I would have participated,

but then y'all have the matching shit. You're telling me that Derek... God damn it, Derek. That's a real slap in the face. You have a little Christmas hat. Handwritten card! I saved it. I'm going to frame it. Frame it?

So that I can have forever that handwritten note from whatever lady works at the office. I'm sure this is derrick's very female handwriting yeah i mean it might be my i got lady handwriting too you do and you write in cursive which is so turn of the century of you it is you know i think it's pretty to look at um this isn't my best handwriting or anything but but you know you get in there and make oh look at that it's beautiful oh yeah oh just good stuff that's pretty i think it's awesome that you have these like 1920s

leather bound notebooks that you because like like what's the alternative all right so like honestly what's i use notepad on your phone well i could but i use it on my windows notepad yeah but what do you have a thought and your computer's not by you right i convinced myself it wasn't a good thought and what what i just keep this in like my jacket pocket and i walk around with it all day and that way like if i think of something i'll actually write it down and like occasionally i have a decent little musing i want to come up with or i want to i want to i've got i've got a joke here about cancer warnings and and and uh in california i'm still fleshing out. Something about how, you know, you read the cancer warning

and something causes cancer, and you're like, oh, I use this stuff. But then you say, oh, only in California. I'm safe here. Good, good, good. Keep going. You just get like, I've got, my phone has like widgets.

I've made like a big widget, like right on the home screen. You just tap it and it opens up all your notes. Great. Okay. That is smart. Then you can keep track of all your funny ideas you're never without your phone I mean honestly how often are those notes you're putting in there good

because when I would keep track of notes most of the time it would be because I was really high and I would write something down and then the next day I would check and it's like this isn't just not funny it's horrible here's a little music I have I have a whole folder of high shit that I think of so I can read it when I'm sober

I've deleted huge note files on my phone where I've just been like this is awful just to delete the whole thing I have a folder for PKA topics that I bookmark and a lot of times the ideas that I have are stories or things I saw somewhere to talk about I'm also like like things that are just for me like like things that i want to

remember that have nothing necessarily to do with the show but just things i want to remember so maybe not that usually but just like i don't know stuff like like websites that i want to remember or just anything i want to like not forget because i smoke so much dope um so you know um i'm a big fan of yellowstone the tv show and um and i was talking about how big of a show it is how it's like one of the biggest shows in the world i think it might be the most streamed show um wednesday might have as of november it was the it was the most streamed show wednesday might have surpassed it. I don't know. I don't know that kind of data.

But do you know about the prequel, right? It's like 1883. There was a prequel. That did pretty damn well. So well that even though it was supposed to be a self-contained miniseries, they're going to make a sequel to it. So they're going to make a second season to the prequel to Yellowstone because that's doing so well.

Well, now they're making because they're because what they're doing is the Yellowstone show. You've got this ranch owned by Kevin Costner and the show, and they're going back in time and showing his ancestors along the way and how they got to own this big piece of land and why it's so important. Well, the newest entry is called 1923 it's harris harrison ford helen mirren it is the most it is the second most expensive tv show ever made only um um second to amazon's lord of the rings which costs 715 million this is a half billion dollar show that that is now streaming. 1923. But I want to know where the money went. That's where I'm headed.

Okay. So all of the scenes where you see thousands. Harrison Ford and Helen Mirren weren't cheap. But the scenes where you're seeing thousands and thousands of animals on screen are real. There's no special effects in this. They're in Africa with giant herds of animals. Oh, that's cool. And then, hey, let's go to another country. Well, wait, hold on. They're in Africa with giant herds of animals. Oh, that's cool. And then, hey, let's go to another country.

Well, wait, hold on. They didn't have to bring those in. They live in Africa. That's not expensive, right? Well, they had to go to Africa to film there, I think. And then they filmed also in the United States and maybe in Europe some, too. But it's $30 to $35 million per episode of the show. So I'm'm gonna watch it

i like 1923 a good bit honestly it's about a slutty prairie girl who can't keep her snatch in hand and gets prego and then gets killed by a doo-doo out arrow um so if you want to watch that and cry um yes i do that's. You with those backpack straps is just killing me. It's so funny. It's a small backpack and so it's like close to your neck. You can loosen those.

No, when he was the kid at school, backpack straps all the way tightened. Like as he put it. No, no, no, no, no. I do the middle one. You got that clip that goes between the two straps.

Jesus Christ, that's some... Do you guys remember that in school? Do you guys do book bags in the UK? Yeah, we haven't. We didn't even have lockers, man. So you had to use a backpack. But what kind of... It was like the Jansport 2 What was was popular what was the thing like this they probably don't have

the absolute coolest anyone ever got was wearing a two you know a two strap backpack but only wearing one now that we always use one strap no matter how bad it hurt i hate that one strap is like the fashion and if you wear two straps you you're lame. Because two straps is clearly a superior way to wear a backpack. But you needed to give off an aura of like, I'm at school, but I don't care that much. Here's what it's saying.

Why do you need two straps, Woody? Because I'm carrying too many books. How many books you got in there, nerd? I got two books. I got my syllabus and I got some porn. I'm a cool kid. I got one strap.

My school is huge and I can't walk to my locker and back between these classes and still get there. That's all I've got. I got ten copies of the Kama Sutra. Nah, cool kids leave their books in their desk. They don't even take it home. Wait, you had a desk? The cool kids leave their books in their desk and they just they don't even take it home yeah wait you had the cool kids at my school didn't go to class oh like they often

would skip and i was always like like i never skipped class and so like ever the no no i really didn't like i was i was a pretty good student i just i, I also, I never, for a long time, I thought that like people sleeping in class was like them trying to play too cool for school. Because I'm someone, I cannot sleep in places I'm not supposed to sleep. So not once in my entire life have I fallen asleep in class. Not even close. Not even, I couldn't if I wanted to because I'm in class.

Like I'm there around other people. I can't sleep. And I remember seeing people fall asleep and being like, you fucking poser, bitch. Like, really? You're sleeping. And after a little, I realized, like, no, these fuckers are like actually sleeping in the middle of class. And for me, like, no, I couldn't do that. I was always on time.

I was I was a bitch, I guess. Now that I'm saying it. Yeah, I've slept a lot in class man i've slept a lot only in them i don't know what grade of school this i guess it'd be like a senior or like 17 to 18 sort of age i slept a lot that was like the peak youtube thing where i'd like sleep four hours every other night and that's not really an exaggeration but then dropping out because you know i was just fucking sleeping in class all the time i mean i i barely i was like the final age to go through high school where they're where you didn't have smartphones because like if i went through high school and had a smartphone and like

could just google shit i would have been doing that 24 7 i don't know are kids learning anymore do kids learn like is or are they just Googling things and looking at video game forums? No longer the young person on this show. There are no young people on this show now. I'm like one of the 30-year-old boomer meme.

I just want to use my Traeger smoker and get high and lift weights and watch hockey and that's it. You don't follow fucking uh what's it hank green on tiktok that's how every that's how every 16 year old's getting their information now but like someone's saying something's wrong yeah god damn it so is that he's the brother of that guy that wrote um wrote that one book hank green was a guest on the show taylor oh it's that

dude who like oversimplifies history and pretends it's simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that him? Or am I thinking of a different channel? He's one of the people that does Crash Course. I haven't seen that. He does genuinely put some good info out there. I might be confusing him. He makes great videos that people often watch to study for their finals that are often showed in school.

They're high quality videos and they teach a little bit of history. I must not know Kyle motherfucker. You're muted. You are muted, Kyle. Hey, greet twice the man you are. How dare you besmirch. I'm going to look

this guy up. Is he a gentleman and a scholar? No, I can take this guy. You're lying. I could take him. You could definitely beat him up. I could beat him up with facts and lies. I feel like Taylor would take this guy. Hank Green wore two straps.

Dan Shapiro style. Zach, would you put up a picture of Hank Green? Because, I mean, I don't want to talk smack about him. I really like him. I admire him. But Taylor could steal his parking spot. Oh, yeah, I get it. Anywhere this guy parks is my spot. He's like, I've got a placard!

It just raining blows down upon him. Yeah, and I just like, as I'm raining blows down in self-defense, I'm like, I'm saying misinformation about history. As you're raining blows down in self-defense. As I'm in self-defense. saying misinformation about history. You're raining gloves down his self. His self-offense.

There were only six smokestacks! The numbers don't add up! This poor fella, he's so innocent. You couldn't. Look at him. He's a great guy. I admire he and his brother. He does. I don't know

anything about him he seems like a nice nerd they made the whole thing they made vidcon they invented vidcon that's also something they did like yeah is that still going on yeah they sold it to a to a hosting company now but like yeah they sold it yeah those i think those guys are doing really well for themselves, I have to assume. William Henry Green, the second? Dan, when you have a number at the end. The second, though, is not a good number. That's just Junior.

Yeah, that's Junior. To put the second there is so goddamn pretentious that it says a lot about you as a person. Look, you're... All right, look. No, it'd be the third. I don't want to hear about being the second until there is a third there's no need for that distinction until there is a third to be confused about he's senior you're a junior until there's a

grand sire child rather that um that you know that like there's no fucking second that's so that's so stupid i always like the third though what do you do as well the second junior is esquire junior is what you endure so that you can have a third you're the one who made the sacrifice senior gets something cool junior gets something lame the third he gets the best one i don't know that you've corrected me on how those numbers work you're right yeah Third is definitely when it starts getting cool. Did you hear about the whole Scottish thing? They were our sponsor, too. But those people who were selling you the titles, that was a whole scam run by some Chinese folks?

Yes. It had nothing to do with Scotland? No, no, no. It's Sealand. It's Sealand, not Scotland. Oh, that was a different one, huh? Okay, that one might have been mildly legit. Sealand is real.

Good, good. And you can't convince me otherwise. Sealand is real, and that's fair. They're able to give those titles out. But the thing that Chael Sonnen and tons of current content creators was pushing, they're like, hey, do you want to be the fucking Duke of Scotland?

Well, send me $100 and use code Chael. And it turned out that that was actually a thing run by a Chinese group of people. If we sell something, making it perfectly clear that it's a scam, is it still a scam? What if I sell for $40

the right for my viewers to call themselves Lord and just say boom. What you were buying is Woody's Gamertag's permission to write Lord on your name. I did run into some hot water with my

branch of the military. Oh yeah? Where I told people that you can claim to be a corporal in the United States Army at Starbucks if you pay me $5 a month on Twitch. And it worked out.

It pans out fine. And they're making that money back. I'm still waiting on my uniform. No, it's a BYOM. Bring your own fatigues. I paid for the silver uh uh silver program that came with a uni i'm told and uh and also some insignia man is there a crime more victimless than stealing valor i don't think come on dude why you gotta be like that those they come back with all the

limbs missing and the scars and stuff hey whoa as as a combat veteran, I don't know what you're talking about there. Why are you acting like we're doing that? We've all taken fire. We've all been there on the front lines. I just want to say, legally speaking, we're all servicemen. On the show,

I've seen the second or third most gunfire here, and I expect the respect that comes with that. To date, the funniest insult I've seen the second or third most gunfire here, and I expect the respect that comes with that. To date, the funniest insult I've... To date, the funniest insult I've ever had was from a trans woman that said it was stolen valor.

That was good. And as a veteran of the first woman's battle, I find it offensive that you would undercut my efforts. I can do better. I can do better than you. Remember that Mia Hamm commercial with Michael Jordan? Yes.

In the late 90s? I think it was a Gatorade commercial. Yeah. They're doing the shots and everything? I wanted to do that video with Richard Ryan at one point, but then I became a felon. Shit. We're like the same thing. Anything you can do,

I can do better because he was doing that wingsuiting stuff and I was like, that's a perfect segment in that. You should do it, but lose. I was fine with losing. You'll use a Barrett .50 cal and you'll have a super soaker go on the nerf guns.

See, that's not funny. The idea was the steady escalation toward the end. Otherwise, it's just a joke that's making fun of me. That's what those all end up being like. Hey, you should come back and do BB guns. Like, yeah, that's funny. Just makes me want to laugh all night

every time I think of that I just laugh and laugh fair enough except it should be like him opening a package at FedEx and it's a tiny amount of weed and then you open a package at FedEx and it's a tiny amount of weed and then you open a package of FedEx and it's a huge

amount of weed. You're going to ruin Richard Ryan's life. Welcome to Jackass and this is frame Richard Ryan. Oh, I actually watched the new Jackass last night like all the way through and I only made

it all the way through because I was like doing stuff on my computer at the same time. It's fucking sad. Like I like I was the age like born, you know, 91. Like Kyle was the age. I was 16. That shit was incredible in middle school, like middle school. All you wanted to do was watch Jackass Wild Boys, those hilarious videos.

And then the movie comes out and that's tremendous. And watching movie last night it's like it's straight up sad it's like seeing a lot of these guys with the wrinkles and the danger aaron uh aaron whatever his name is it used to be so funny to watch that guy get fucked up in horrible ways because that was kind of one of the bits and now it's it's genuinely sad they're yeah you're right they're not getting up as fast they're like 44 so they're taking bad one bit there's one bit where they you and they're not a woody 44 like 49 like very fit they are they're a lot of 44 because they've done this so long like they have legitimate and they had to pivot almost entirely to like dicks and gross-out stuff

because they don't have the physical endurance to do a lot of the old shit anymore. And so I swear, two-thirds of the way through the movie, I'm like, more dicks? More dancing around with dicks? More tasers, more branding and burning. Not a lot of huge jumps and big stick stunts anymore. More things that are borderline edited or scripted

with gags and things that pop out at people in a hallway. And there's one where they have an oversized and very fast treadmill. And you might think, oh, yeah, I've seen that one a bunch of times. Well, for some reason, they're doing it in what looks like just a warehouse that's all concrete and they all and it's like one of the first things they did they all take super bad falls and i think one of them breaks his ankle right there like like like like like head like i think johnny's face is bleeding like why are they falling i don't understand what the they like they like run and jump awkwardly on a super fast treadmill that sends them all flying oh so they're not running

on the treadmill they're just jumping onto it yeah just jumping onto it and then getting smoked on concrete just so bad it was so bad and and they didn't pop back up they laid there and it wasn't like oh they're playing it up it was like should we check on Johnny? Because he's bleeding from his face. Doesn't he pee out of a tube or something? Am I crazy? Apparently not anymore. He's all better now. For a long time.

I bet he can fuck. He has kids. I love Johnny Knoxville. He broke his dick with a dirt bike for anyone who doesn't know He went up a really steep dirt ramp Doing like a I don't know, a trick

That he doesn't know how to do And the bike went up and he came down And the bike lands right on his crotch And he screams And you know, it's like a 400 pound motorcycle Landed on his dick I'm gonna do the ads real quick. All my lights just fluttered on and off with this winter storm.

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you'd like to this episode also brought to you by lock and load lock and load people everyone's stuck everyone's talking about it people are talking about it for a long time believe me women were saying why aren't men busting why are their busts so small and then and then my god my god i get this new product and before you know it melania is saying i'm liking fucking you marginally more than before and i said that's fantastic it's wonderful lock and load code pka code jizz come like a man come like donald trump the official come stack of donald donald j trump the official yourself for christmas Donald J. Trump treat yourself for Christmas can you say that like

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takes herself. Loves to bust lock and load code pk code jizz check it out 10 off i just love that it's code jizz that's so great that was my idea kyle fought hard for that in the tech there will be questions in like our lock and load chat that are like do you need more product like protein powder or lock and load do you need more of this? Kyle doesn't bother with that because he doesn't need to. He will only show up when he's like,

guys, it has to be jizz. And then a week or two goes by and he's like, where are we at on the jizz coupon department inquiry? It's important stuff. I'm pretty good. I think I'm pretty good at getting people to click on things and making them click more on things than they normally would.

And that's just an important thing. It's like, yeah, that's funny. It's like whenever we would make gun videos, people would come over to my house and they'd see all the costumes. Like, why? Why are there so many costumes? You saw Jeremy, right, wearing all those silly costumes in the Wings videos? Those videos got as many views as they did

because of the way I filmed them and produced them. Not... I mean, not withstanding, Wings is an incredible subject. Okay? Alright, I don't want to take anything away from him, just to be clear. That was a 50-50 thing. He was such an incredible subject to, like, work with.

He was just clay in your hands. I lost interest around week four, I would say. But up until then, those were some good videos. I love how you always say it, that like Wings is an instrument to be played. Yeah. Like the same way the Whack Pack people are on Stern or like Bobo or those people were on ONA. Yeah.

Like if doing this show and being funny is like playing an instrument then i'm like a real shitty banjo player over here and like like taylor's like a passable fucking drummer it's like holy shit he can keep a goddamn beat and but but wings wings is fucking wings is the harpsichord that you pick up and wings is the glass harmonica yeah yeah because because if you sit him there in his little bubble and you don't interact with him, he will never entertain you. He'll never be funny.

Like a gorilla at the zoo. You have to throw things at him when the employees are working. Like he won't create. He's not, but he can be used to make beautiful music. Like when you go back to all the greatest Wings clips, it's us getting that out of him. He didn't just go off on his own. It was us going, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you saying X, Y, and Z? Lay this out for me. Because he's not smart enough to know that the alphabet's funny. He's like, yeah, X, Y, and Z. So she put her fingers in my butt hole and broke up the turd. No big deal like

like he had no idea that was a funny story like there's so many things that he didn't realize were funny or entertaining and you just got to draw that out of him so yeah he's an instrument to be to be to be played not a not a i don't know a person what's that uh what's that instrument it's called the american something this instrument that's like a piano and you can like honk horns and like pull a string it's that thing where the like the guy plays the entire you know yeah the one man like and he's like like that kind of shit and it's it's it's all fun what the fuck is that called i want it right now. It's called a three-legged organ. No, it's not the American... The Americana organ slew.

The American organ. Let's see. The American organization. I don't know. You're not going to get there. I like that thing that Weird Al plays. What is that thing with all the keys on it? And he's also moving it around.

Oh, the... Oh, the harmonica. No, the... God, we're all retarded. What the fuck is that thing called? Is it a harpsichord? I don't know what it is. The American photo player.

Thank you so much, Zach. The American photo player. That's the thing. I didn't know they were real instruments. Look it up. Look up American photo player. It's so cool. It's so fucking cool.

There's one guy whose YouTube channel is like cues and then like a phone number and it's just him from like 10 years ago doing it. It's fucking sick. It's awesome. It's such a cool instrument. I didn't know that they were like technical instruments.

Tell me the best song on this instrument, Taylor. Entry of the Gladiators. Taylor, you got nothing, do you? You can't name a single song from this? I can link it. I can link this song. You have to go to like 2 minutes

and 30 seconds to see it. Didn't know he'd bring receipts, did you? We could probably listen to some of this on there. This is a 10-year-old video about an American photo player playing Entry of the Gladiators. Alright, do play this.

Fast forward to 230. This fuck's not even playing it. This is an auto-playing instrument. This is like... No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't let him poison this world. He's peddling it. I can play this instrument. Watch the keys. Watch his no, no, no. Don't let him poison this world. This is a record player. He's peddling it. He's peddling it. I can play this instrument. Watch the keys.

Watch his hands. Yeah. 230, Zach. Stop it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She goes to show me trying to show something cool to my friends. Shotgun. Dude, I'm on board for it. I was going to learn.

I was going to take lessons with you. I was going to find the Wii version. I was on board for it. I was going to take lessons with you. I was going to find the Wii version. I was on board. Waiting for an ad. You don't have ad block? No, YouTube Premium. YouTube Premium? Ah, peasants. Waiting for an ad.

Sorry, everyone. Now we're all waiting for an ad. Alright, $2. 30 or two 45. We're going to need volume on it as well. Absolutely. Integral barrel chested, man. He has barrel chested.

Like an American should be. I bet he can bench press two 75. He's got a huge heart physically. Yeah. God damn. He looks strong. He does look strong. I bet he's going to play that thing.

Like a dirty. I can't hear him. I can't hear him. Look at that thing play. It auto plays. Ah, did you guys want to hear the musical instrument? I would love to hear what we're watching right now. Oh, well, that's a horse of a different color. Audio and video.

Oh, let me get right on that. Audio and video. let me get right on that guys I promise it's gonna be cool come on fill it up boys god damn Zach you are selling me down the river here man I'm trying you think if we heard that song we'd like it more yes you would like it more.

It's a fuck, man. You're killing me. You're killing me here. God, these things take so much fucking adjustment, man. Well, we tried, boys, but we didn't have the tech to get it done. We're going to reinvest in a... Back when I produced the show, we could love videos.

I'm pissed. Yeah, I'll do a reenactment of the song. That's what he was playing. But he wasn't playing it. He was just pumping. He was powering the machine, so it auto-played it. No, the whole point is that...

He's just operating a generator that plays music no i can do that no this is like a bicycle powered record player it's yeah i know you're trying to trigger me and it's working and i don't like he's not even doing anything he's just turning a crank you haven't even watched the fucking video this is just like biden's hand on zelinski's butt dude like you're gonna have to take a step. Zach, pull the fucking video up! This guy is like one of those DJs that pretends to work it, but it's really just a recording. He's like pretending to flip switches. This is the funniest.

I can't believe Taylor likes this. It's fucking cool, man. My backpack is cooler than it should be. What other hobbies are you into these days? It's cool, man. That guy wears three straps on his backpack. All right. Taylor, have you...

You win some, you lose some. Taylor, have you cracked that book open yet that I sent over? I sent Krieg, which is a novel about the titular planet slash soldiers. I have not. I read earlier today, maybe a couple hours before we started recording, I read a couple pages and I was like, I don't have time for this right now and I'm going to want to like jump into it. Cause already like just the first few pages,

they're setting up the world, they're building it. Like I'm, I'm, I'm like genuinely excited to read through this book. This is going to be such a cool world to get into. And you already told me to, to start thinking about what sort of madness is behind their masks and why

they're wearing the masks. And I, I'm not going to look anything up. Don't spoil it. It's very interesting. Yeah. The, the soldiers of Krieg are like the most hardcore of the regular human

beings in the 40 K universe. You know, there are super soldiers and there's giant machines and spaceships and all sorts of weaponry. But if you're talking about a regular human being with a gun and a you know a blade it's them they're the most hardcore like um devoted um like there there's this concept having a commissar um which reminds me of the soviet um situation where you've got a guy in the back who's like not a step backwards or you're getting capped that's the normal job of

a commissar in a 40k army he's there to be like oh are you doubting the fucking emperor well just a little bang were you about to run away uh maybe bang with the krig they don't need one and sometimes it's the opposite the commissar is like begging them to stop like stop throwing your lives away your your lives are valuable. Stop. They're using their bodies like human shields and human wave tactics and stuff like that. Really fascinating to learn how they got like that,

why they are like that. If anybody doesn't want to read a long-ass book, Lewton coincidentally uploaded an hour and 40 minute, maybe? Hour and 20 minute YouTube video all hour, 20 minute, uh, YouTube video all about the book that I sent Taylor. Uh,

and I'm glad I didn't watch that video. And this is, this is only like a 200 and something page, 280 page book. It's not that long of a book. This will be a quick read. Yeah. It was pretty long on the audio side.

I thought it felt like 1500 years ago, it declared its independence from the Imperium of man and paid the price this is gonna be fun creed is a dead world this is gonna be so this is like so up my alley like this this kind of lore shit i thank you it was a very merry christmas indeed kyle i appreciate it i didn't mean it was a christmas gift um uh per se you know nothing nothing for christ okay i also know that you you've always been of the opinion where you're like i'm not a christmas gifts guy i'm a gift sky randomly i'll get someone a gift but not because yeah that's a random gift like the uh the the fucking dvd or whatever like sometimes i'll be online and i'll be like ah this is i need to program woody's address into my phone

and he would get a lot more gifts if i had it programmed. I've got Taylor saved in my Amazon so it's like real easy to gift him stuff. I need Woody's I know it's just a Google search away though. I really don't have a good excuse. I landed a plane in my yard. Woody's like

aggressively self-doxing and it's so funny sometimes. He'll be like oh I don't want to show this mail ah whatever it's only the last eight of my social last eight he's gotta guess that first one

and Woody's hard to gift for too yeah that's the hard part what do you buy the man he has everything what I usually look for with like You just got to guess that first one. And Woody's hard to gift for, too. Yeah, that's the hard part. What do you buy the man who has everything? What I usually look for with Woody gifts is things that are related to, things that I consider sending Woody, but usually I'm like, nah, that's probably not the thing. There were some knives that were really interesting,

but you have so many that it's hard to find one that has a unique opening mechanism or a unique thing to it. That isn't like $800 or something. And I'm not trying to, I'm trying to send you like a hundred, 200, $300 gift sometimes.

I don't need, I don't want to, I know you don't, but no, I, but I like being thoughtful. So I'm often looking for these things and sometimes, and then I also found some like wall art that had something to do with paramotoring but it was a little like paramo it

was like it was a little bit of like um gatekeeping uh to it and i was like that's pretty that's kind of lame they were like something about paramotors like being the only real man i was like is this really the only wall art they have for paramotor? Your sport needs one ball. Mine takes two. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Dude, the funniest shit is that where I used to get my nails done had signs all over the wall

that were exactly like that, but they were like feminine. So it was like, this is where girls come. No men allowed. And I'm just looking at the signs going, no. Finster, you're a knife guy the only one i know

of that's probably more so than me what is the coolest knife you have without getting out of your chair oh oh fuck me uh i can't open this one because i told you this is a knife that doesn't work uk government i don't own this i got one of those i have that same knife and it's and it's a manually opening thing. There's no mechanism in it. Oh, it definitely is not an out-the-front knife. I have a toy one that's similar. This is how that knife opens.

Oh, yeah, mine's a toy. Yeah. That was the coolest one. It's like gasty. Do you all know about the giant one that they made? Yes. Oh, the fucking Halo 5 one. It's what that bit, yeah.

It's fucking crazy. They made, like, an out-the-front thing, that same company, or whatever. yes oh the fucking the halo 5 one it's what that but yeah it's fucking crazy the the the they made like an out the front than that same company or whatever um that was like this big it was like there's a there's a like semi-usable one too it's like 12 inches or something yeah so it's like an out the front bowie knife it's kind of cool maybe it's the halo 4 i'm not sure what i don't like about it is it feels like i've got a little blade and a time and a big handle and that's that's like that's required i suppose finster could you off the screen maybe open that and then oh yeah yeah i mean i'll show you but again it's plastic and not real actually

it's made of paper but it's one of the it's real nice it's like bronzed and hold on like the the handle to knife ratio is a little off right like it should be slightly bigger exactly and there's a mechanism like a spring and stuff you know so yeah compared to like a side opening knife yeah it's different honestly i love these the the balisongs and shit i got this little training one because honestly a real one would suck i'm gonna die dude i couldn't help but i i used to practice mine all the time like in bed and stuff and i've permanently scratched my laptop screen even with the training they just come flying out of your hand sometimes dude oh that's the wrong screen my bad but there was um's a minecraft mod

There was a if you need help with like cool knife open the only thing I buy are the ones that Open in a cool way. So like if you want a gift idea I'm waiting to know a guy that wants a knife for Christmas. You can't even find knives that open in weird ways I think oh Do it I follow like the content. is what tiktok's for man i follow so many like these accounts where i look at this fucking weird thing and you know there's ones that open with magnets now it's so cool that is cool i was like i was like brainstorming quickly about ways to get ways to get a bigger bigger blade coming out the front

like what about pneumatics i want i want to fuck or maybe like a like air pressure can i get a bigger blade coming out the front. What about pneumatics? I want to fuck, or maybe like air pressure. Can I get a CO2 cartridge in there? Yes, man. Remember that green gas? Have you ever seen those shark knives? Yeah! I'm pretty sure those, or no, wait, the blade doesn't

shoot out on those. It shoots CO2 through the blade into the shark, right? Have you seen when they test it on ballistics gel? shoot out on those it shoots co2 through the blade yeah yeah yeah right yeah yeah that's tested on uh like ballistics gel yeah and it blows it up like yeah it would be horrific to be like top three worst things to be stabbed by you would imagine yeah yeah a doodoo arrow was pretty high on that list by the way yeah any anything with shit on it you're probably going to get very sick and die i got i found out a new fun way to die uh i got a friend uh i i finally got to facetime call with someone and they were telling me all about how they were um they were on a holiday at the time and they

were really into diving i don't know if you guys know much about diving but i found out a new fact which is definitely on my top three of worst ways to die, that for some reason at about the 120 feet mark, oxygen becomes toxic. You just can't breathe it anymore. Your body just, it's something about the pressure. I don't know what it is. About 120 to 140 feet, normal oxygen tanks won't do it for you. You need like a special blend of gases. And what happens if you inhale like oxygen that's toxic is immediate death like you will especially

underwater you will inhale it your body won't take it into your body won't take it you'll get a seizure and then you'll drown oh my god you can um i i know that um i know that's that that's happened sometimes not exactly that but but there's an issue that'll happen with cave divers where if they have the wrong mix, they go loopy down there, and they can't tell up from down. There's all these horror stories on channels like Wendigoons and Mr. Ball where it's like those people who go cave diving, and then it's like, oh, yeah, Alex and Billy got separated,

and Dave went to go find them and then all of a sudden britney's all alone now when all three guys are dead at the bottom of a hole because they didn't tell up from down and they try to save each other and and she's looking at her oh too like ah do i go up or do i go down that's so awful donald serroni the ufc fighter talk about his cave diving story the whole story brilliant donald serroni turns out to be a gifted storyteller and he's into cave diving apparently he describes himself as like an alpha fucking cave diver like he's the guy that makes the jump lines he's the guy he describes himself as a good fighter too but he was um and uh um so basically you know he tells his wife and kids like i'm gone don't worry daddy's coming home i'm gonna do it and he's diving with this guy who doesn't fully trust the guy makes a mistake in the cave and he gets this

like silt out condition so he can't see anything doesn't know out from down doesn't know where he came from can't find the jump line he just tells the story of trying to get back to a jump line is this line in the cave that uh they use to find their way back out so when you get your hand on it there's something called a cookie that'll tell you like which direction you're supposed to go and you can follow these things on the way out well his buddy silts things out he like leaves his buddy because i guess that's cave diving um etiquette etiquette you know like oh if you get any trouble just ditch your fucking friend

because you don't want two people to die and uh and he does that it turns out his friend got out before him and uh and he goes and he gets out and that's that's the story but he tells it way better then i watched cave divers watch this story like like, you know, the reaction video. And they're like, what the fuck? I know Davy Crockett, the world's greatest cave diver. And he would never say that he was the world's greatest cave diver. This guy is so full of himself. And he's like, and I told my wife and kids, don't worry.

Daddy's coming home. And he's like, I have never gone to a cave dive thinking that. I have never been like, honey, I'm gonna survive this one he's like if you're that close to death that you shouldn't be a cave diver it's always this close to death and uh they're like you know that is what a cookie is i guess i'll give you but basically they debunk like everything about his story call him a noob and that he doesn't know what he's doing and just like from from beginning to end the whole thing is kind of nonsense unqualified silly he's he's also the same fighter who picked a fight with a guy uh on a lake and kicked him in the fucking skull unconscious

that's a win yeah i mean it was a win that that should be on his record if you ask me. What do you have there? I have two things. I have coffee and this like stevia lemonade. I got a thing about, I thought it was lemonade and I had a bit of a mind-blowing moment for anyone that's European, I guess. The rest of

the world thinks lemonade is carbonated by default. No, lemonade's not carbonated here at all no this this to me was like the whole half the world uh wipe sitting down and half the world wipe standing up and no one knows about the other half i i swear i was talking to my chat about it we did a vote pot like in a poll no one it made sense immediately because you see in movies all the time kids outside selling lemonade in the stands. You just never consider it. But yeah, lemonade's supposed to be...

Sprite is lemonade to everyone else. In the UK. You don't have regular lemonade? That is regular lemonade. To us, that is lemonade. Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated lemonade? I prefer carbonated. Icarbonated lemonade? I prefer carbonated. I'm not sure if he's had either.

You're wrong. I'd probably prefer carbonated to uncarbonated. I mean, lemonade is sugar and lemons and water. Did we just call that a whole separate thing? You get that in a fancy restaurant called

Still Cloudy Lemonade. Tangy Still Lemonade. It'd be like a whole separate thing like you get that in a fancy restaurant called still still uh cloudy lemonade like tangy still lemonade it'd be like a fancy thing oh and also cider what do you all right when i say apple cider what do you what kind of beverage are you imagining like cider like you know like the like cider like dude it's the same situation we just went through don't be like oh yeah you mean okay so it's a carbonated... It's a fermented apple carbonated... Yeah. Describe the beverage's taste. When it could be consumed. It's semi-sweet a little bit when it can be consumed.

Yeah, is it a holiday thing? Like, if I say eggnog... If you want me to describe eggnog, I'm going to have a real good description for you. Honestly, to a lot of... Maybe it's just a Birmingham thing I'm trashy, but, like, it's what 15-year-olds drink. It's like the sweeter version. No one wants to drink beer.

Yeah. But it's an anytime drink. Do you see how we've... You've missed it. So, cider and alcoholic drink? All right, so let me tell you what apple cider is here. Sorry, it's alcoholic. Okay.

Definitely. So, not at all here. None of this is here. Not here. Here. What? That's the whole point of what i thought i was given that i wouldn't need to kyle needs the floor for a moment this is the

whole goddamn point of why i'm getting you to describe the beverage because when you describe lemonade you describe something completely isn't lemonade which we probably invented like we have different ideas of what lemonade is. We also have absolutely different ideas of what cider and apple cider mean. Apple cider to us is an apple juice that is not alcoholic in any way. They use the pulp and the skins of the apple as part of the mixture. That isn't filtered out. So it's not a clear beverage. It's good.

It's a very cloudy beverage. And if you shake a jar of it, then it'll become more cloudy as you get the particulates to mix in. It is usually, it is often drank around the holidays and sometimes it is consumed warm. That's how you describe a beverage. Now, you described apple cider to me. You know it's cider

I believe it's a fermented apple juice sort of thing. It's alcoholic. It's carbonated Many many different types they will can't They will add different flavorings to it. They will always make it with apples, but they will often add like maybe grape stuff to it. But it's still all under the umbrella term of cider. It's served in like a glass bottle, much like a beer bottle. And it can be a slightly higher percentage than beer sometimes. So we call that hard cider. So what do you call apple juice?

Because here, apple juice is non-carbonated. It is clear. It is sweet. And I don't know. Children drink it. We're the exact same on that. We have the same definition of apple juice. Yeah.

You probably have apple juice over there. I haven't had apple juice in ages. I haven't either. I in ages. I haven't either. I remember, like, Kyle, you're right with the cider thing. I remember being, like, 20. When I was, like, coming of age to be able to drink was around the time that, like, the Angry Orchard ciders. Have you ever had one of those? The Angry Orchard cider?

It's, like, it's alcoholic hard cider and i remember like buying those in college and being like this is a great idea like alcoholic apple basically like not even realizing that like when european people talk about cider that's just what they mean like yeah which like if you're saying like that's what 15 year olds drink that sounds awful like just pretty good getting getting trashed on sugar cider my my first drink it was i never liked mike's heart it was too sour me either oh i like sour stuff but everyone has it everyone in the uk seems to have a really similar story of how they first tried alcohol which is i drank half a can of cider with four friends in a field like you know like everyone is that just the cheapest way to get tanked as a young person in the uk is cider so cider tastes the best i'm not going through all the effort

of stealing vodka and mixing it with coke or whatever or lemonade when you say can is it like coke can is that my picturing a 12 ounce can oh it's it's like a beer can well you know yeah they're really similar they're in cider and beer are very similar classes of thing they're just i used to have cider when beer was appropriate like or is woodpeckers a cider is that a thing yeah yeah when other people would like i we used to every once in a while like sneak off work and go to the movies and uh people would bring beer and and Five Guys or whatever, things you don't bring into the movies. I would bring in cider just to sort of fit in. All right, this is a good topic.

I like this. What's your favorite thing to bring into the movies that you're not supposed to bring into the movies? My best experience ever is taking a Chipotle burrito. We hadn't eaten dinner and like our like traffic had caused the movie and dinner plans to like collide so we just watched a movie that was 15 minutes earlier and went to moe's to like make it work and having those burritos in there like having a full meal while we watch was really cool i don't know i liked it yeah i used to me and a few friends like like, it's not food.

Like, we would just, but we would, like, hit his dab pen in the back of the theater, like, while watching, you know, Wicker Man or whatever the fuck stupid movie we were watching. There weren't dab pens when, like, I was, like, I don't know, when I was looking to go to the movies and get high. I just remember, like doing smoking in the car. We would smoke in the car a lot for joints. We did like, that's what that used to be. Our move is that like everybody to get to the movies, like, and then everybody smokes in the car.

And then once like my, a buddy of mine got like a oil pan in like, this has got to be like 2010 or whatever it was like that changed the game because to us we were thinking about it in the context of like this smells like barely at all compared to regular weed and so like we're just or it might even smell like in the back of the the theater and obviously like that like i wouldn't do that now as at the age i am because i'm like well that was probably pretty rude granted they were empty theaters for the most part but like yeah i wouldn't want somebody doing that around me i wouldn't do it like if i thought it was going to bother anyone for sure yeah i wouldn't especially

if it's i'm you i'm always good about that i always try not to bother people in public so i i wouldn't have done that if i thought i would yeah yeah same i try to be super considerate like like when i'm out and about like like i was i was reading some horror story on reddit about like stinky people wanting to sit like sitting next to you on flights and stuff and it was like oh my god when i it's rude there's a few scenarios when i'm like so careful about my hygiene like like in general i don't want to stink like don't get me wrong like i'm always smelling pretty good but when i would go to jujitsu, when I'm going on a date where I'm pretty sure we're going to have sex, or when I'm going on a plane, I'm at my tippy top best. Because I'm about to get close and personal with somebody for a long time.

And I want to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Dude, like, it's a little gay, but I remember karate as a kid, how good the coach smelled. Having sex with him. And just how, he was actually my as a kid, how good the coach smelled. Having sex with him? He was actually my uncle. I would have never thought that. He was actually my uncle. He was a cousin or something like that. Yeah, it didn't stop him, apparently.

And I was terrible at karate. It's an honor for him. It was. It was. Sensei. I'll never forget. He gave a new meaning to the Cobraai it was a different different kind of cobra yeah it was a cock in a gay sort of way i'm thinking but no i just remember that guy smelled like tremendous and being like holy

shit like like that smells great and then like and also in jits like like i would always like i put a cologne. Because I'm about to hug you and drip sweat on you. We're going to roll around the floor. You know, I'd appreciate that as your partner. That'd be kind of nice. Because you'd know it's cologne. But the alternative is just smelling your feet.

Well, I mean, I'm hitting it. It's not like I'm not hitting deodorant and antiperspir well but it's like i want to be smelling good and i'm a plane a spec like plane if you're gonna get in a ring and fight me give me a kiss on the lips for christ's sake i've heard of guys who go the opposite they won't shower for a couple of days to get like stinky if they're gonna roll with somebody they should be put in jail that's that is oh that is so fucking rude no you're making fun that up. And the professional level. Like in the UFC, I'm talking. That's really inappropriate. I've heard fighters be like,

that guy stunk. I feel like that would make you fight harder. That's a downer for you. That's really rude. Because they warm up. They get a good sweat on before the fight.

But there's a difference between a guy who's like clean and goes in there and start sweating. Like verse, you know, when you smell someone who's like, who maybe they lifted weights really hard eight hours ago, they've got like old sweat, old stink,

festering stink. That bacteria is living there on the skin. Like, whereas if someone's like freshly sweaty yeah they're sweaty and gross but they're not like reeking now now reeking is a big deal but if someone had a little bit of like human body odor i would prefer that to someone invading my space physically i'd rather have someone invade my space than smell it'd be easier to like move my arm then because you know when you're around someone

who has like severe bo it's a it's it is offensive like if i'm in coach i literally don't fit in the seat like i'm i'm just i'm like wide shoulder to shoulder and i i exist over the shared armrest in coach and uh if that other person like does too, or maybe even comes into my zone, like we're cuddling and I don't want to, I don't want to cuddle either, but I always make sure I get a window and then I can kind of like, cause I have broad shoulders as well. And like,

I kind of have to like, I'll kind of tilt myself a little bit. So like this shoulders on the side of the window and the other one's not in their space. Cause you're right. They make those, they make those seats for European-sized men. Like smaller.

For lithe. For the kind of man you want to bend over a bed. When was the last time you guys had a girl on? Because I feel like you guys get way too horny over me. Well, we're on a good run. We're on a good run we're on a good time we had an actual person with no dick on this show we we invited a girl recently and uh and uh well getting to i don't want to say who so don't we invited a girl recently and um

she's like yeah yeah absolutely. And then I guess she had a little time to brush up on what we do around here. And then she was like, you know what? I'm actually going to be super busy forever. Can you write it in the side?

Yeah. I wonder if it was one of the I asked for, I think, two different girls to come on the show. Which one? Was it I asked for I think two different girls to come on the show yep there you go which one was it there was a the only comment I ever see oh really she said yes and then she pulled around and said no

all the comments I get are about Kyle and all the videos that do well is like the pride flag in the background, Kyle's face, and me, Lumi, and who the fuck else was. But, oh, man. Or Milo. Milo. Oh, yeah. Milo was super into me, too. Yeah.

Dude. I was so jealous of how Milo was into you. Jealous. I knew Milo was into you. Jealous. I knew Milo's stuff. I had watched a lot of his stuff. At the time, I kind of admired how well he did in debates. Milo would come on these shows armed with studies, and it's incredibly difficult to out-debate someone who's like,

actually, University of Colorado did a study on that, and this and that and the other thing. And then suddenly, you have a bunch of gay-ass opinions, and he has a study done by some university. You're defeated, period. And he was out there just harpooning these feminist whales on Fox News and CNN or whatever. And I'm like, I can't believe we've got this guy on the show, and I'm all excited. And he comes on, and I've got all these questions for him. I've done all my prep work.

I've watched hours and hours of him, like defeating feminists in these videos. And he comes on here and he's just like, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. There was a website that like electronically judged how hot you are. And Kyle like crushed it or something. He's a fucking 10. And Milo's like yeah i totally see it your face is so symmetrical you're so dreamy and i'm like god damn it milo i'm the one who knows you you don't have me added back on discord for me to send the nudes that i

send to kyle so i there's no opportunity i can't i can't flirt as well but well Finn will try to trick me into saying some gay shit to him sometimes Finn keep doing that it's only a matter of time like all jokes aside I'll be like dude why aren't you flirting with me and shit why are you being weird and then I'm thinking like

I bet somebody's watching him type this shit live because he is And I'm thinking, look, I bet somebody's watching him type this shit live. Because he is flirting with me right now. I got to get out of here. I got to get out of here before I do something. Yeah, he's just pulling my strings. I'm starting to feel like Lindsey Graham.

Lindsey Graham just being tempted by the devil. Oh, Lord, I got a touch of the vapors. I got the vapors. A touch of the the vapors it makes for such good clips though i'm marketing for the clip chat the last thing i did was i called a friend of mine and i so do you remember how i said before i've been taking more photos of myself now now about this yeah but i can't show anyone but i want to show someone so i called a friend just to get their reaction. I sent them the photo and they went, whoa! Just to get their reaction.

No, I think it's great. No, they're just jealous that I'm honest. Like, dude, you're super hot. Clearly you are. Nice, pumping that iron. Are we supposed to pretend like dude's not hot? Like he is. Clearly you are. He's pumping that iron. Are we supposed to pretend like dude's not hot? Like he is.

And what would I think would even make it better is if you stopped skipping arm day. Dude's making millions of pounds over there because he's so fucking hot. And you're like, oh, Kyle's such a faggot. He admitted that dude was hot. Yeah, dudes can be hot. He's making business out of

being so fucking hot i got litmus tests you know it's just it's just if dick is if dick is visible then yeah you know in the photo then i don't know that does make it harder to pretend you're like well there's there's no minding my way around that. I could do it. Holy shit. Oh my goodness, dude. Were you in the German Olympics? We had a girl, Optic Midnight. We went the entire Trump presidency with no girls

on the show. You know what? Bill Maher did a thing about who's fucking Trump. Did we talk about this already? who's fucking Trump. Did we talk about this already? Who's fucking Trump? What do you mean? Exactly. We don't know who's fucking Trump. Melania, right? Really? That's your first guess? Melania is having sex with Donald Trump?

No, I mean, that would be the original guess. Like, who else would you... I don't know who's fucking Trump. Otherwise, I would just guess, like, other models. Like, he's still a fucking billionaire and he was the president. He's a billionaire? I really doubt he has trouble getting his dick wet. Yeah, I'm not saying Trump's not fucking. I'm saying I don't know who's fucking Trump. And I find that interesting.

It's definitely the same as it's always been. Like the billionaire, like just fucking around. I bet he's just like running through models or whatever like normal. They're all keeping the secret. No one except for Stormy is admitting that they fuck Trump.itutes trump has sex with prostitutes that's who trump's fucking good old man i'm sure there's a very exclusive like escort service that he's a member of or he's privy to then he has sex with beautiful beautiful women that he pays for they all keep secrets so well that's their job they are professional prostitutes i think you put too much like uh in the secret thing about like conspiracies or like

you know trump and prostitutes like every military operation requires tens of thousands of people to not talk and they work project manhattan you know on three mile line like hundreds of thousands of people were involved in that. Like as long as you have like an NDA and even if you do leak, the media doesn't talk about it. Like it's not that hard, you know, like if a prostitute did leak and say like, I'm fucking Trump. If Fox, CNN, MSNBC, Twitter, Facebook, whatever, like if they don't run that, it may as well not exist you know what i mean fox cnn nbc and maybe someone else you mentioned are all keeping a secret on behalf of trump regarding who he's fucking no no i'm saying that like that that's how it would work like if they didn't want that exposed on his behalf you don't need to control the person on the ground not talking you just need to control the media not

not proliferating so easy to do i i don't think these secrets are as easy to keep as you say they are i i guess it depends like for a trump one of course like a trump one's a bad example because they like the media was happy to absolutely make shit up about piss tapes in the shape of his dick for years like so it's not like they were trying to cover for him. I choose to believe all those things. Well, the piss tapes, like, I... The thing about it that confused me is that he is... Mythbusters called that plausible. He is the kind of man, because the original myth or whatever was like that he was being peed on on the bed.

Now, I don't care how into piss you are. It's not really my area of interest, so maybe I'm wrong. But no one who's into piss wants to be pissed on on their bed. It wasn't his bed. He was at a hotel. He wasn't getting pissed on it. You're still having to sleep there that evening. My God.

You're going to sleep on piss? So Trump had the ladies pee on the bed while he watched. Trump didn't want these ladies to pee on him. Trump wants these ladies to pee on him. Trump wants these ladies to pee on him. He's a germaphobe. That's somehow dumber. If he wanted to get pissed on, but do it in the shower,

do it somewhere. They're pissing Obama's bed. That's where Obama's going to stay when he comes to town. He's making sure that Obama's bed's going to be pissy. I don't think so. That's absolutely what it is. I want you to stop drinking water for the last three days.

I want you drinking nothing but black coffee. Just to get their piss stinky. Checkmate, Taylor. That myth? Not busted. It's confirmed. Trump was pissed on or peeing. I promise you it's exactly what i said that was that was wild like do you remember that that was just normal for a few weeks in 20

like 18 where they're like i'm anderson cooper and up next after we talk about the european parliament decision on war stormy daniels porn star here to talk about the shape of donald trump's penis allegedly like that that was like a news thing. And it was kind of like mushroomy. And he's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It's like, what the fuck's happening? He's like, shiitake or white cat? Did you know her lawyer's in prison?

That Michael Avenacci guy? Yeah. I mean, that dude was like a huckster from the beginning like so what he was he was he did opposition research and that was part of how he did his law thing like he'd be like all right look we've got this suit about this but i'm just saying if you don't uh let me win this suit i'm gonna tell everyone about this nasty thing you did involving like delivery trucks and explosions or whatever. Like he would look for dirt stories that the companies didn't want told. Well, that's blackmail.

He did it to Nike and went to prison. I think he stole Stormy Daniels money too. Yeah. He did steal Stormy Daniels money. He tried to blackmail Nike, which is like the balls. He tried to get Pepsi too. He made a career out of it.

What a piece of shit. If you watch the Dude, Where's My Hairier thing on Netflix, which I still highly recommend. It's so very good. He was trying to get the kid to basically pull the same stunt that sent him to prison with Nike on Pepsi. And then they were like, yeah, I don't like this. This kind of sounds like blackmail.

This doesn't seem exactly right. Or maybe even illegal. So they, they didn't go along with it, but yeah, it was interesting to see him like that. He was part of that. Yeah.

Remember that brief time where they're like, this guy should run for office. No. Yes. They, yeah, they were talking about him. He might've even announced a declared or something.

Like, Oh wow. Seems like a, such a scummy guy. Like you can kind or something. Seems like such a scummy guy. You can kind of look at him and say... He is fully a scummy guy, but Democrats liked him out of the whole... Democrats liked him? They liked him because it was an... because he was

working against Trump. It was one of those like... Wow. Anyone who went against Trump, the Democrats loved for a while there. That's a bad look. It is a bad look. Yeah, yeah. That's one that the blue team were all like, yeah, mistakes were made. Yeah. Did you see that?

I kept hearing about how, like, fucking the red wave was stomped out and, like, how much power the Democrats were going to have and everything, but somehow they didn't have enough power to even get the cannabis banking law through so that the cannabis businesses could do their banking. They couldn't even get that through?

Yeah, so what happened was the House passed it and the Senate lost like 52 votes to 48, but you need 60 because the Republicans voted against it. And it was to allow the weed companies to bank federally. Yeah. I don't know if there was more to it than that, but that was one of the parts of it for sure. They're having to operate a cash business over there.

You can't take cards and stuff. Or maybe, wait a minute. Kyle's framing was kind of unfair, right? If 48 out of the 50 Republicans are against it and all the democrats are for it you can't blame the democrats but what i'm saying is like the democrats don't have a lot of power if they can't do this like waves aside and whoever's winning this or they just don't care

about that as much like i just voted for it why are we knocking the democrats we should say the republicans have had enough power to stop the democrats from getting it done yeah that's my point no it seems like it's democrats yeah my point is like like like like it just doesn't seem like the democrats have a ton of power so did they win this they want how did that how did the election pan out like who won in the republicans do though in the supreme Court the Republicans have the House and the Democrats have the Senate right Democrats gained a seat in the Senate and the Republicans have a house by a very narrow majority

which is causing them trouble because they can't get the Speaker of the House they can't get a majority on it yeah and then that works out Mitch McConnell is he the Speaker of the House Mitch McConnell is the Senate minority leader he is minority leader killed he's the fucking he's what killed the bill we're talking about which bag well to be fair i think that this bill it's it's never as

simple as you would like it to be it wasn't just like hey do we want the cannabis banking thing yay nay it was like tied up in some 14 billion dollar thing that had tons of other stuff in it they don't do one thing at a time rarely no they never do it'll be like don't you want to sign the against child pornography act and it's like yeah but also it has 20 quadrillion dollars to israel in there meanwhile there's like yeah we're gonna have child porn and there's a clinton land deal like in the same bill yeah you're not for this you must be for porn oh you must be in favor of child porn it's like no like it's so funny that like that's still how it works like that's how the whole country is run is that they'll put forth legislature and called it like the we love dogs act and it's to

fund wars forever and then they'll be like what you hate oh my god so the question did you know chuck schumer voted against the we love dogs act this is awful what did the we love dogs act do don't get into the nitty-gritty here like one fix for that would be a line and a veto for the president i think they've had that from time to time and what it would be is like right now the president either signs the bill or doesn't period it's that simple if the president could be like okay i'm signing 80 of this and then that pork for the bridge in st louis that is already a fine bridge i'm vetoing that that line that remember trump got hated on for like he really wanted that at one point right like i don't remember that but i don't know about like

i want to be in charge i want to be able to look at it at the end and x off what i don't every president has one of the line item veto and i can definitely see the the upsides of it you know they could cancel pork and this and that but it also makes the president a lot more powerful than he currently is so you tend to like it when you like the president and dislike it when you don't i i've heard that democracies need to be like terribly slow and inefficient at getting change done so that you can't ruin things in our big hurry. There's a lot of benefit to a system that is so slow to change that we won't rewrite the whole system on the whim of maybe one generation. Businesses and people need stability. If you change the rules on them in a dramatic way all the time,

you won't have a successful country. I agree with that. Maybe where we are now with a split House and Congress, I'm sorry, House and Senate, is pretty good. I mean, the Republicans have the Supreme Court. Any Democrat

that's celebrating is either ignorant of how the fucking world works or is lying to themselves because the Republicans are the winners. The generation is done. I keep saying it. I can't believe that there aren't Republicans out there laughing with their pitchforks. I can't believe Alex Jones doesn't have a segment every day about,

but don't forget America. Alex Jones. Dude, that guy is in the hole for 1.5 Billy. That guy is not laughing about anything. He needs to be getting his YouTube shorts out there. He needs to earn a quick 1.6 billion. He's got to be getting his YouTube shorts out there. He needs to get moving. He needs to earn a quick $1.6 billion. He's got to get out there because he is funny.

He's got a good voice. And maybe I'm overestimating. He has a tremendous... He's got a great voice. The way that he delivers lines is fucking tremendous. It is top tier, people. Believe me. Believe me, people. It's top tier like that's

that's how he sounds and it's fucking tremendous that that guttural that that taylor there if you did that accent for a whole twitch stream like would that damage you i would i would actively lose my voice yeah yeah i would because it's hard you gotta the problem with his voice is you have to speak at a minimal volume to allow it to come through. You see what I mean? If I try to go quieter, it kind of falls down. It doesn't work as well.

But when you go loud and you get that guttural, that kind of vibrating feeling down there, it feels good. It feels good. Yeah. Did you see the clip of him? He was talking to some guy uh talking about hitler and he was like so so i wanted to clarify with you your your position on hitler so that was you know you know me i i do not like hitler i don't like him he he was a warmonger a crazy

person a satanist i think that's what he said and this other guy was like and he was like so i wanted to ask you do you have admiration for hitler like asking it in a way of like fucking olive branch dude like please this other guy you're talking about kanye yeah no no no no no yep uh nick fuentes oh oh yeah he was the guy who was with kanye in the yeah he's on the other side of alex and and he was yeah he's a big trump guy and the and he was like so you i just wanted to get that out there because you know here info wars.com we do not like adolf hitler he's a despicable man a genocidal maniac he everything he did he was satanic he was like did you know that he was into demons like that shit and this guy goes like yeah i guess i do have a little

admiration for him yeah like a little admiration for him in that way and you can see alex just be like okay well fuck fuck i was really hoping that was a softball I thought I was lobbing one right across home plate here and fucking swinging a miss it's always good when your podcast has to start out with have you guys ever clarified your position on Hitler? that's where you want to be

and we're mixed. You know? There's a lot of angles to consider. I mean, he invented highways. He invented microphones. He invented all these things. I don't believe that. He invented asphalt.

Oh, yeah, right. They're like cough syrup. We must commit to Operation blitzkrieg in France but before we do this I'm trying to get the gain down correctly on my microphone

and they said Hitler you're putting so much time into the SM760 how are you going to have time to fight the war against the planet? You have Hitler inventing irrigation now. And I said, there's no reason that you can't.

Hitler invented the lever. We are in favor of a German Germany and high quality audio recording for all! audio recording for all! He's like

the first guy to get into graphics cards or something. I've come up with something interesting. It's called the 2060 Super. You watch the Channel 5 News guy on YouTube, right, Taylor? Are you familiar with this guy? I haven't watched his channel, but I know it's the...

He had that other really popular channel. Yeah, All Gas No Brakes, but that was owned by a corporation, and he broke away with them and has done his own thing and has become wildly successful since then. Yes, I haven't watched his new channel. He is owner, producer, writer writer star of channel 5 news and he has an hbo movie coming out that um that that is um sort of centered around january 6th but there's a lot more to it he really goes into um what he refers to as dark stream media and uh and and

some of the influences that that's had um and it is the tidbits i've seen are awesome um his interview with don lemon hilarious um he he's like look like a fool he owns don lemon pretty fucking hard i mean don lemon always comes off like he he he's like well you know i just think that big news corporations like cnn and fox news sort of pit americans against one another with fear mongering and this and that like has this like well thought out thing and donald was like well i don't agree with any of that uh just to be clear uh and they kind of move along but but all that aside the thing's gonna be on hbo i don't know if it's out yet it's called this place rules so i'm definitely gonna check that out i saw a clip of it i'm pretty sure it was from it

where he visits a q anon family in georgia okay i think it's like a mother a father and hell yeah boys and that kid dude that kid this little he looks 10 this little blonde haired boy is spouting some hardcore q anon shit he's's like, the Democrats grind up the babies to make like butanol and all the rich elites inject it so that they stay young forever. And they have submarines and they have underground tunnels

that lead to Epstein's Island where they molest the children. And he's like, he he lays the spiel out. And then the dad takes Andrew, I think his name is, from Channel 5 News. The dad's like, come here. I'll show you. I'll show you the cue board or whatever the fuck. And he's got it on a tablet.

Not a good one. Android tablet. He had an Android tablet. I think he had a buyer tablet like i got a jail broken give those things away and uh and uh and he's like going through the board and and um he pulls one up and uh the and andrew's like so um you say there's a lot of things like encoded in here hidden in the background he's like yeah that's say there's a lot of things like encoded in here, hidden in the background. He's like, yeah, that's right.

You got to really look deeply sometimes to see the full meaning of a post. He's like, so here where the word sacrifice is misspelled, that's done on purpose. Oh, definitely. Definitely. These people are smart. If they misspelled something, it was done on purpose to give a greater meaning or to hide something from them. And he's like going like through this conspiracy shit and the whole family is in on it and not only are they like

practicing this religion i'll call it privately they're like the street people with signs and like yelling at people and the children are yelling at people about how like kids protests that's oh they should be playing in the woods having fun well they andrew asked the kid he's like do you wish you could still go to regular school i was like oh god i can't wait to see this because the kid's like well yes i do miss regular school they were poisoning my brain with their zionist like whoa hang on a minute all right we're gonna move along then talk to your dad timmy shut the fuck up hbo's not gonna sign the checks if you keep that shit up hbo's not gonna sign the checks if we keep going off about palestine shut up about those make

believe people um no it looks really fucking good. I love the Channel 5 news shit. I think his name's Andrew. Here's what I noticed about him, because I haven't watched him in a while, from the Don Lemon interview. He looked like either... He used to have some bad acne, and I think part of the acne was that he was living in that van

and not able to have good hygiene in there because he was grinding so hard and like kudos to him like fuck your skin when you're grinding so goddamn hard you're traveling from one part of the country to the next non-stop like it's it's clearly like the way to go but what i what i noticed was like looks like his skin's a lot better like like he looked like a different man on that Don Lemon interview I saw. How old do you think he is? 25, 27. You think so?

He's very funny. Very funny guy. Maybe when he started, I feel like he's a bit older now because he's been going four or five years, so maybe 30-something now. But when I think of him,

I'm picturing those videos that are at Daytona, Bike know like what do you think about covid it'd be a stressful way to get content because it'd be like all of your content is contingent on getting goofballs and if like you're just getting because like think about it like for every interview he shows where it's someone like going off in a funny silly entertaining way you know he talked to 10 12 other people who were not who weren't firing off who weren't entertaining who were just kind of giving normal answers that's right kyle because that's no i don't think it's right for me because definitely how it goes.

Most people are normal. They're not going to give you a great response. That statement you just made is correct, but it doesn't matter. Because here's the thing. When you go to AutoZone, you probably don't get recognized a lot. You go to VidCon, you'll get recognized every 30 feet or so. Hey, that's what's happening here. He's not interviewing people at AutoZone.

He's interviewing people at Daytona Bike Week during the height of the pandemic. These people all are thinking crazy thoughts. They're all thinking. He's going to Trump rallies. It is a target-rich environment. Kyle makes a good point. If I wanted to find someone not picking stinks i wouldn't go to autozone i would go to vidcon no not vidcon um they smell awful packs really

that's where you want to go e3 doesn't smell as bad they got some good ventilation in la twitchcon was up there twitchcon was pretty bad yeah did you dress up in your in your get up for trich no no are you crazy i've gone out i've gone outside once i'm not in this like in like a crop top if if he went to a vidcon like that he would have a security issue i remember seeing shane dawson get mobbed a decade ago okay like he was scared granted he's a pussy but like he was scared of the crowd that had gathered i mean that guy was hugely popular yeah but you can imagine the crowd that gathered around him they weren't that intimidating you know what i mean yeah mostly mostly there was shane dawson fans yeah and and you know like guys that look like girls yeah like finn yeah i was i

was there i met him he was a great great guy he was in the crowd yeah wow he called security though to get shane dawson videos are the gateway drug to dressing up like a woman on twitch oh the common programming some for some reason all everyone that i meet that codes they got a little bit of this in them. Just a little bit. Zach says it. Really? He says it's Shane Dawson. He knows the developers. He humped his cat?

I always heard he fucked his cat. What was his cat wearing? Did he penetrate the cat? Was the cat a boy or a girl? Who cares? That's important. Not only it matters. I mean, you're not going to go in the cat vagina, are you? I mean, you're not going to go in the cat vagina, are you? I mean, if he was doing something gay with the cat,

we need to correct that. Are we talking cat sodomy? Because that's a different story. Ew. This guy didn't actually fuck a cat. Which orifice? I don't know. Zach accused him of abusing a cat.

I don't know. If he's still on youtube you can't fuck a cat and come back from that there's so there's no way he did i think that's not that um what was that girl um oh i just whitney wisconsin whitney wisconsin was this like do you know what i'm talking about did you make that up just the dog fucker i'm i love that that you had the callback so whit Whitney Wisconsin was this thing that happened on the internet for a brief time where she was this dirty, slutty girl from Wisconsin, presumably. And she just was posting the most nasty shit. I remember one, she's in a Walmart dressing room with like another girl and like masturbating until

she squirts and then she like walks up to strangers and has them smell her hand like really obnoxious gross shit but she was also like having sex with her dog she was having sex with her dog and she was very open about talking about it and doing it i think there might have been videos of her doing it i don't know they would do it they were really hard to watch videos of her like kissing like making out with the dog. Yeah, full tongue. Like with the dog, lots of that. And like, I can't remember some of the other nasty stuff.

But like when I talked about like her, like lots of like public, like gross stuff, it would be gross for like a normal person. I think it's like somewhat not gross because she's a hot ish chick. She wasn't even good looking. She's kind of a gross looking girl, too. Yeah, she's fucking dog,h chick she wasn't even good looking she's kind of a gross looking girl too yeah she's fucking dogs man yeah she wouldn't let us jail for french kissing a dog that's bullshit you should be allowed to do that she she did more than kiss the dog she i mean it looks like i'm on uh in whitney wisconsin fucking a dog the dog giving the dogs on it the dog was the victim because she was sent to jail dog's on it the dog was the victim because she was sent to jail that's no the the dog is the victim because that dog's just trying to be a

good pup and and she's forcing him into a situation that he's uncomfortable with and we can't know if that dog's comfortable with it and so i can tell the dog is comfortable with it by his raging heart on but yeah you touche touche i'm looking on this there's a you know those fandoms that have like wikipedia's so there's a a leafy is here.fandom.com and talking about whitney wisconsin she made a video called 10 reasons why girls should have sex with dogs it's been since deleted and she apparently went through many reasons that she thinks that dog sex is not only acceptable but beneficial for the woman which is i would you know i would say red flag you know i feel like you guys are being super judgmental like if you just take away your societal norms and say fucking a dog who's

the loser in this situation she likes it the dog loves it i mean you can call me a prude but i don't i don't think you should fuck animals i feel like you're being really close-minded about this. We should only murder and eat them. Yeah, because at least that's utilitarian. Actually, I'm changing my own mind. Let me pull you back from this.

It's utilitarian to come if you're horny. Get me. Pull me off the ledge, Finn. Let me tell you what the worst part about this is like if I told Taylor a story about someone like fucking a cooked chicken he would think it was funny but you tell him a story about someone fucking

a live chicken and he wants to send him to prison bigot but see I'm I've never in my life had my mind so blown by something. You're just, like...

You're honestly right. That's true. The thing is, it's a boy dog. I would laugh. Because the dog's a guy, and he's actively engaging this, and I'm assuming loving all this attention that he gets from her.

Where is the victim in this could i okay let me let me they are all brought low by the by the filthy actions of those people we are all where are the victims as a species of this okay let me take the the niche opinion that we shouldn't let's let's pretend we're in the society where hey don't break the illusion you got fans fans out there. Oh my god. Let's pretend. Some of that video, the top ten reasons, she was going like... She was talking in the video about like, well, they love it.

They just love to eat pussy. Did you know that? And she says, well, technically, sometimes I gotta put a little peanut butter on there or a little bit of food on there. So clearly, there's a bit of manipulation involved. That like a little bit of food on there so clearly there's a bit of there's a bit of manipulation involved that is a violation of consent even if it was okay wait wait wait she's putting a delicious dab of peanut butter on her hoo-ha to get the dog to pay

attention to it and suddenly we're acting like the dog is a victim in this? The dog is... Wouldn't you appreciate that, Woody? If you went down there with your special lady, whoever she may be, and you found a tasty treat, you'd be like, oh, you thought of me. How fucking considerate. I'm going to request a

maraschino cherry next time. If she's got a Skittle taped to her clip. Taste the rainbow delicious and sugary is that a pink skittle in your ass yeah yeah i do recognize the flavors no no what's that nerds rope what if she puts a red starburst on her pussy you'll just go oh no i like yeah i don't like it's the yellow ones i don't like cool no idiot yellow and yellow and pink are far and away the absolute s tier flavors of starburst red is the lowest of low tier

lowest of low tier i may as well get none you know those little things you used to get for halloween as a kid that had two starbursts individually wrapped in there it was random colors plastic and like yeah it was clear plastic and every now and you'd get one that had oh i know now and laters those suck but uh you'd get those starbursts and sometimes you'd get two pinks two pinks was the best pull. It was like two rares. A pink and a yellow, good pull. Two yellows, fine pull.

Two reds, awful. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest. I hate Skittles and Starbursts, and I haven't had one since I was in the third grade. They make me sick to my stomach. Think about what that is. Think about when you're chewing it, what it's turning into. It's turning into this goo.

It's just sugar sludge. Oh, it's sugar sludge in your stomach. The idea of eating a whole bag of Skittles right now makes me feel a little bit nauseous thinking about it. I hate that candy. Sometimes I'll get high on my own supply as far as candy and snacking goes. Because I am not tempted by sweets at all.

And so if someone's like, oh, I ate four candy bars, I'll be like, grow some willpower, buddy. But last night, I ate a family-sized bag of pretzel thins. Have you got those pretzel thin those pretzel thin crackers you can get the everything bagel seasoning on there oh my god it is I was high out of my mind just eating those

all night it was tremendous but I look at it I look at the bag the next day and like surreptitiously I suppose I consumed 2600 calories of pretzels I can't judge And like surreptitiously, I suppose I consumed 2,600 calories. I can't judge it. I spent two weeks surviving on fast food. You know, what's funny is like this morning I was like, God, why is this such a brutal morning shit?

And I was like, oh, yeah. What you did last night. I had a this was a few this is a few months ago like i think i mentioned this on the show that like i was really baked late at night and i wanted something kind of sweet and i didn't have anything in my house other than fiber one brownies that kind of tasted sweet and i must have eaten five or six and uh and the next day i was like shitting for the fifth time and like substantive amounts like not one of those times where it's like you have your big morning shit and like you have a follow-up shit that's not very satisfactory it's like what's going on here, I was sitting down to shit and having full evacuations every time. I like to think you lost weight on those brownies.

I definitely did. Because I think what it did is it just packed my intestines so full of fiber that it forced out a lot of the old cured meats. There was a hamburger in there from six years ago that just got cleared. Yeah. And today I went to the...

I'm stoked for after the show. I have a little bit of poop. No, no. But I bought... I went out to the store today. I got soppressetta. I got capicola. I got hard... These are Italian deli meats. And I got a whole

bunch of them. I got prosciutto. I got some Ritz crackers. I got some gabagool i got some uh i'm doing to you what you did to this to the candy whipper i am not remotely tempted by these strange meats that i've never heard of before it's like grow some willpower taylor meanwhile you put a carb in front of me and it's like why'd you have to put it for jackie made me homemade chicken soup because i've been so cold for days driving my motorcycle across the country in december it's a very cold activity and and i would even get to my hotel room crank the heat up and i'm just not warming up it would

take hours for me to warm up and then the next morning off we go again just cold cold cold jackie makes homemade chicken soup and it's very good and i have that waiting for me and then of course she's like do you want some croissants with that i'm like no she gives them to me anyway i eat them all today homemade chicken soup uh and uh she's like do you want some crackers with that no no you know i'm back on my cut now i've had enough i've had enough i ate the whole sleeve the whole fucking sleeve of crackers is gone. Wait, what kind of saltines? Saltines? You know what I prefer over saltines?

As a kid, I would crumble up saltines. Not Ritz. No, that's not a proper soup cracker, I'm afraid. Oh, soup cracker. Those little oyster crackers are perfect because they're the same thing as a saltine but in little salty portion-sized oyster bites. I'm hungry. I made a homemade chicken noodle soup the other day. they're they're the same like thing as a saltine but in little salty like portion size oyster

hungry yeah they're good i made a homemade chicken noodle soup the other day oh yeah and i i i yeah i uh i had made it super healthy and then i was like so it's just broth and vegetables and the white meat chicken hmm and then i just added a bunch of cream to it and it was so much goddamn better it was so much better it turned into a creamy soup that actually tasted like life, like it was a real thing that you could taste. Dude, you'd be hard-pressed to find something that doesn't improve by adding cream. Yeah, cream's a real winner. It's tremendous.

Dairy products are the best. I love cheese. I got a brick of Gouda, and I got a brick of Havarti in my fridge. Get a cat out at this point. What are these things? Houda and Havarti? No, Gouda and Havarti. They're kinds of cheese that I'm

going to slice up. What is acting like your name is Star Wars characters? Yeah, so I got some bread and some cheddar and some Pepsi and he's like, what the hell? Can you clarify it for me? Havarti is not an exotic cheese.

Okay, Gouda does sound like a Star Wars character. The other one sounds like a city in Cuba. None of these sound like Gouda. And Yoda. No, you need to get... Honestly, the only reason that you're not all in on Italian deli meats, like, you know, getting some capicola,

some soppressata going, is because you haven't given it a fair shake. Capicola is clearly a Zodiac sign, and you're just fucking with me at this point. Oh, my God. No, capicola is what you want. Capicola, it's... Well, shoot want. Capicola, it's, well, shoot up. Capicola, they're impulsive and lucky.

Yeah, they're impulsive and lucky. They have high cholesterol. That was Tony Soprano's favorite deli meat. He liked the Capicola. The Gabagool. It's a good one. Yeah, the Gabagool. I've never heard someone in real life call it gabagool.

But yeah, gabagool and capicola are the same. I saw Michael Scott try it. He tried to order at a restaurant. It was really funny. She's like, excuse me? And because he doesn't know exactly what he's saying, he's like, the gabagool. And they're just like, just bring him the gabagool.

Dude, I've said before, the reason I love this stuff and when I'm eating a bunch of salted meats i think of like happiness is because like my grandpa was a butcher and so like he had all of this shit all the time not the same grandpa my grandpa my dad's side was a no no no different grandpa the my my the butcher grandpa he died in 2003 or something. The bull riding grandpa, he's still alive. But I just remember he would bring home meats and things. And I'd be over there and it'd be like, this is... And I was also poisoned from it with meat.

Because I remember there was a very... You know those memories you have as a child that are visceral? And that permeated you and you can still remember. Did your mom hate you too? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's an underrated joke. But I remember watching like what rookie of the year. Yeah, that stupid movie and the guy with his cranked up arm

the guy on the yankees the bad guy had the biggest fucking he had mark mcguire sized forearms and he had a chaw in and i remember i could still i'm there when i close my eyes i was sitting at my kitchen table and i was eating ribs that my grandpa had brought for us. And I remember like I was watching Rookie of the Year and I saw that guy with his giant forearms. And I'm like, if I just keep eating meat, I can be like that guy. I remember having that thought and being like, if I just keep eating meat, I can be a huge guy like that guy with the baseball bat for the yankees in rookie of the year so when you go to the deli aisle are you thinking this could be it i'm thinking today's the day we storm that beach and we become mark mcguire see my problem with all

those italian meats like the they all taste like pepperoni to me and pepperoni is just salty greasy chewy meat that's insane i i prefer turkey and ham and uh and pastrami like like so much and roast beef like so much more yeah like like a good turkey like like a cajun turkey or like some sort of honey turkey or something like some sort of fancy one that has a bit of flavor the most ridiculous thing you've ever shaved really thin um but but everything else salami capicola pepperoni they're all the exact same taste to me it's a it's not greasy salty pepperoni taste what about soppressata i can't a nice spicy i can't picture soppressata i'm not a fucking all these things on a plate you'll be able to identify them visually yes absolutely 100 i could go that's capicola

that's so for setter that's hard salami that's you know whatever it is it's not hard it's not hard it's not i'm not a savant here it's just i have been to the grocery store so i can see that and go oh a nice thin strip with a fat layer about two thirds of the way through. That's capicola or that's prosciutto or that's, you know, so prosciutto. Usually so prosciutto is a little redder. Are any of these meats like directly from a cow? Like, is this a part of the cow that differentiates them or is it a thing they do to the cow afterwards that turns it into this? I think it's a lot of pork that you're hearing right now.

There's a lot of pork, a huge amount of pork in there. Oh, is it cow and pork mixed together? It can be. No, like prosciutto, that's just pork. That's just a slice of pork. Is there one that has cow and pork mixed together? Yeah. That's bologna.

Mixing cow and pigs and eating them like that, I think is grosser than getting your dog to fuck you. What is that top one? What is that goofy one to the left of the white stuff? Taylor, you were this legend. This meat identifying to Ron's.

Is that the bologna that has that shit in the middle of it i hate the bologna with the shit in the middle of it i do not like that so what top right that's turkey so what that is that's traditional and what they have they haven't uh incorporating the ingredients together um um as uh as homogenous uh lee as they do do in the US. So it's the same ingredients, it's just got the big chunks of fat in there. That's not turkey, Tyler. I was thinking it was kind of an olive loaf.

That looks like thin sliced bologna to me in the top center. I hate olive loaf. Top right. That's turkey, right? I don't know, it looks like bacon fat. Turkey? No, that's probably pork belly. Pork belly. That's just so...

It's all fat. That might even be skin on the back. I don't know. I don't want to look at this anymore. I don't even think these are real pictures of meat. I'm so hungry. We talked about this before. The last hour of every show, I just start talking about food. I want to see Kyle's toy. Yeah, I talked about this before like the last hour of every show i just start talking about food

i want to see kyle's toy yeah i talked about this before the show a little bit like there's this youtube channel um i think originally he tested like pliers and power drills and shit so there's like tons of those videos but the cool videos is when he goes on amazon and he finds like what's actually the brightest uh you know his know his name? No. And I could find it. Is that the brightest flashlight? This is the most dangerous laser that he could find on Amazon. Shine it on the wall behind you. Dude, that's awesome.

That looks like a light saber. You are shining it on the ceiling. Yeah, but the ceiling's not in shot. What's this called? I'm going to buy it. Wait, if you put it on the wall yeah but the ceiling's not in shot what's this called I'm gonna buy it if you put it on the wall behind you if I shine it in my eye I'll fucking literally do damage so first of all he has a

mechanism so that he can test these things this one was $65 off Amazon again and it's 1.4 watts I think those numbers don't mean anything to most people but just so you know like wicked lasers were used to be one watt and they come with safety goggles and they're full of warnings and there's not just a fucking button in the back okay there was a code you had to put in

to access a wicked laser like like you had to memorize it's like two on two anyway this is so dangerous it it actually causes pain to look at the beam when it's cast onto a surface so i haven't really played with it much i don't play with it look at it i have an idea i need to be heard kyle yeah please go to the bathroom grab toilet paper the thinnest paper i can think of okay if you can set it on fire or at least like burn yeah go to the bathroom take out your penis take i think i'd like to report back the results send send me a picture of your penis you can like a demo right yourself i also damaged my my a dog ate my sunglasses the other day so now i look like all right i want you to wear those sunglasses and close one eye. That's what I'm doing.

Of course. Shine it. Oh. Oh my god! No way! Keep holding. We'll tell you when the fire's begun. What are you talking about? I can see it through my eyelid.

You can see it in your eyelid jesus of course i can absolutely see it through my eyelids it's like a welding art regular paper yeah hold it still actually i can't tell if it's just the heat i think i'm looking at smoke still i think it's yeah it's just smoke i think kyle is that on fire or is it just smoke i have my eyes closed open them real fucking quick um it's like there's like cinder oh it's not quite there yet oh the ceiling's on fire oh god oh god it's the sky wait kyle what is that called i want i'm gonna buy one okay are you allowed i feel like you you personally should not be at the room i don don't think. The room smells like smoke now.

This was like an old napkin for my breakfast. What is it called, by the way? Let me go on my Amazon card or whatever. That's the easiest way to know. How much was it? $65. That's a steal, man. Yeah, the old Wicked Lasers were about one watt,

and I think they were $200 or something. Do you charge that or are there like a bunch of d cells in there i hate to point it at my face so i'm just gonna put my palm in front of it but no don't let no go ahead but but there's like a couple ways to charge it you've got a usb thing and uh like a s or no the old micro um or mini um us can you hold it against the wall and see if you can get like a discolored point on the wall? So I doubt it but you'll get an idea just how like

it's a rental. Like now you can see like why it's hard to look at what you're doing. Like my eyes hurt. I'm getting a headache but it's outside. It lights up everything. I have to be careful because you're not allowed to shine stuff like this into the air. Like I'm in the city so aircraft

are going over all the time. You can't shine that stuff? Oh, well, that's what I'm supposed to do. Look, where you are, as long as you're not shining it at an aircraft, you're fine. But if you were to target an aircraft, they'll track you down and hit you with federal... Isn't he in St. Louis? Yeah, I'm in St. Louis. I'll tell you where I had the most fun with mine.

I was out in Texas. I wouldn Yeah, I'm in St. Louis. I'll tell you where I had the most fun with mine. I was out in Texas. I'm going to get an aircraft. Here on the East Coast, we have flying vessels called planes. I know they have it. Here in the Midwest, which I assume doesn't have them yet. Hey, I'm in the one area of Missouri that we have that.

Well, the two areas. Kansas City and St. Louis. Right at the edge. All of Missouri between that. No. Even in the middle of nowhere, there's a chance that there's a photo of Paraglide paramotoring Woody. There is. Woody's going to be yelling down like, you're letting my wing

on fire. Turn it off. Not the reserve too. Jesus. This is really intentional. Someone just tactically burning your wing. That thing is awesome, Kyle. just tactically burning your wing. That thing is awesome, Kyle. I really want one. Yeah, can you link it?

For $65, I think I want one. I think we should all get one. Finn, I think you should join in the mix. Let's all do it. Let's all buy laser pointers and let's all see how close to the line of illegality. I'm going to use it to light the candles in my house. That's kind of dope.

I've got a mahogany teakwood candle that's just itching to be lit in the other room. It's going to smell tremendous. Are you a candle man, Finn? Do you always have a candle burning? Too much work. I'm not that much of a woman i'm a big candle man i love candle if i'm having company over i have at least a candle burning usually i have one in my main area burning and then one in my guest bathroom burning like usually it's a it's a it's a miss meyer's candle the lemon verbania that is

the cleanest scent they have shout out to to miss meyer's candles not a sponsor but a tremendous company it doesn't give a weird vibe at all to get i feel like if i walked into a dude's house and there was a candle burning i'd think that maybe this was something else this wasn't just you know playing card together or like you know no COD together. No, it's true. You have to have candles. That's the goal. If I were having any of you over to my house, there would be candles burning when you arrived.

Absolutely, my house too. It's going to smell nice. I've got a little bit of a secret. My dogs are old, and it is hard to have two old dogs the size of farm animals and not have at least a little bit of dog smell so when you walk in my house

it smells like I don't know mango citrus vanilla dog that was funny but no really it kills the dog smell in the same way that candles are kind of magic at putting out like fart smells and stuff in the bathroom they're pretty magic at making the

dog go away too but yeah i highly recommend that laser there's a link down i already bought it yeah yeah for those oh shit i clicked on zach's link is it the right one i think they're the same thing i think they're exact same thing i clicked his and it took me oh it says last purchase today. All right, cool. Last purchase today. Yeah, I also recommend that you get some goggles or some glasses for it, and I wouldn't cheap out on those because it's painful to operate. I'm not going to be a pussy about it. It hurts to operate it. I feel like I just operated an arc welder. It's uncomfortable.

So I'm going to order some good ones before I fuck around with it too uncomfortable. So I'm going to order some good ones before I fuck around with it too much. At least it didn't say pet safe like some of the others on the list because while this was the most powerful, there were like two or three others that were also in that burning paper, lighting matches, blinding people kind of range.

This will blind someone a fucking kilometer away. This thing is so scary. And I like that they made it look like a lightsaber, though. That's kind of nifty. I don't know. My other one was just kind of black and aluminum, which didn't look too cool. The one from Wicked Lasers. I don't know what they make now.

I just bought Taylor's candles, too. I spent like $90 in the last five minutes. Sick! I just linked them. Those Mrs. Myers soy candles tremendous tremendous either get the lemon verbania or the lavender scent i don't know and it depends on your mood like if i'm having people over and i want the house to come off clean and like tidy i go lemon if i want it to come off a little more relaxing i go lavender like it's it's all about candles candles are top tier the last candles i made smelled like coffee pretty cool actually

what did you use was it essential oil you put in like coffee essential oil uh it might have been called mocha or something but yeah interesting i yeah i've never smelled the like a lot of those scents that you wouldn't think would be that good like a cigar. Like I don't like smoking cigars but like I've bought I had my brother he bought me like last Christmas a candle that was like called leather and cigar or something like that and you would think that would be a gross smell it's right

mahogany it's a very mahogany like i'll take your word for it that those are good i generally oppose guys trying to be too masculine like like it's like bro you've gone too far and now you seem insecure like oh do you have gasoline smelling candles yeah fuck you. Are you too manly to burn vanilla? Suddenly you'll think people think you're gay because you have a vanilla candle? You're too much of a man to simp a finster. You're too much

of a man to give a British man a thousand dollars on the prospect and he might suck your dick. Put on a skirt or you're not a real man. Exactly. You put on a skirt, you're showing off some confidence. Get on your knees and open your mouth. Let me do a very masculine thing and prove how masculine I am. I got my testosterone checked.

Look at this shit. That means 700, baby. That's a good rate. That's a good number. Yeah. I don't even know how many. 23 and more. 23 and more. Kyle, I don't even know how to read this. 23 enmal. 23.5.

23 enmal. Kyle, I need you to interpret what that means. He's in the fucking metric system on a different slider as well, so he has to explain what that is. I tried to. I knew that a bunch of, I think that's the European or British thing, but I think if I Google it real quick, it's like 700 or something like that. Enmal.

What's the normal range? Like four to seven? There's no such thing. But 700 is, they did like an average of Olympic athletes, something like that. What's the normal range? 4 to 7? 700 is... They did an average of Olympic athletes and they were around the 5,500-600 range. 700 is very good. If you're pounding steroids, you're going to be in the thousands,

like 1,500 or 2,000 or something. If you're just on TRT, you're probably not going to be crazy high above 700, maybe 1,000 it's 700 has way higher t than me which yeah he's double the t double mine yeah like double mine too am i wrong about the number you're younger so i'd expect you to have higher t than me but i think if you looked at it someone might guess mine was higher and i don't know to have higher teeth than me and but i think if you looked at it someone might guess mine was higher and i don't know well as you yeah as you get older you lose some what's the what's the other measurement that you use for what like uh no it's like uh what's it called like maybe like

and like 700 watt like what's the number uh nanograms per deciliter, I think. But it's not something that I look at terribly often. I think it's nanograms per deciliter. So when I saw your thing, that's just very confusing to me. It's like you might as well have said you weigh three and a half stone. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. I don't like the weight measurements that have low numbers. Right? Yeah. Stone's nuts. numbers. Right? Yeah.

Stones, nuts. A 14 stone. Yeah. One stone is like 22 pounds. Hard to say. A stone is 22 pounds, right? It's something like that. To lose one stone, you're a different person.

Yeah. Like it's such. That is. I lost like, I think I'd calculated it. Like my total weight loss from my heaviest to now is like 36 pounds or like two stone. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It sucks. It sounds so much better. my total weight loss from my heaviest to now is like 36 pounds or like two stone yeah yeah right what country uses stone does anyone use stone like actually we do they're the only one for real you'll say like boy i'm way i'm way i weigh nine stone i bet they do let's take a guess on who else

does stone because there's got to be one of the fucking members of the empire that does shit. I bet like fucking India does where they're like I weighed 4.5 stone. Oh, we only hit her with 15 stones. Oh, that's a different thing.

That's Iran. Australia and Ireland use stone. Australia. All the UK, I guess. All the provinces. australia and ireland use stone australia all the uk i guess i thought i thought ireland that made any of those i bet there's african nations somewhere down there that are like you know still using stone i was watching this whole like info series on youtube about um uh i can't remember which uh which king had his had his people down there cutting their hands off to to get the rubber but uh it was fascinating they were um so they created this huge problem where you had this group of guys who were like forcing the rubber people the villagers

to farm rubber and they were told all right if they don't get enough rubber cut their hands off and he sits back to the king and he's like the fuck if they don't get enough rubber, cut their hands off. And he sits back to the king, and he's like, the fuck? How are they going to get enough rubber the next week if they don't have their hand? It's a terrible long-term strat. He's like, cut everything else off.

But not their hands! You barbarians! You fools! Cut their ears and their noses off! Whose idea was hand originally? The managers? Yeah, whoever's running things there. King Leopold, that was his name.

But what really... Cut an ear off. This exacerbated things tremendously because think about this. What happened was they started getting paid for how many hands they would bring back because it seemed like they'd done a good job enforcing the rules.

But they would just start cutting hands off innocent people because now hands were currency. And sometimes they'd be like, hey, keep a few hands back. Like hide a few of their hands. Jesus Christ, that is fucking horrific. Yeah, yeah, really horrific. Cut a lot of their hands and feet off

and the children too not just the men rubber farmers but the women and the children it's pretty obvious but I had this a management course I have an undergrad in business you get the behavior

that you incentivize so they showed us this case study where what they wanted was for people to do And you get the behavior that you incentivize. Boom. So they showed us this case study where what they wanted was for people to do is they work in teams, right? We're all on the same project. I help you. You help me. Together, the whole team does better than it would have if we were in silos. But they bonus them based on their individual performance. So people weren't working in teams.

People were pretty much sabotaging each other because it helped them get bonuses by competition, right? They had whiteboards up there where people were tracking how they were doing against their coworkers because they wanted the reward, the airplane tickets, the hotel, whatever it is they were getting incentivized with. And I look back to your cutting off hands. That guy didn't want hands cut off, but he was incentivizing middle management to do it. And I think about that all the time. Heck, Jackie will like, whatever, give me bad news. And it's like, all right, respond well to this bad news or you won't get it next time. Next time you'll get

something less true. I use it all over the place. Incentivize and respond the way that will give you what you're looking for next time through. I like that. That's really smart. Good relationship advice. No shocker. Woody's full of it. He's laughed at this long somehow. Not by

accident. Can't be. The secret is those cute-ass backpack straps, man. All these years. She loved this backpack. When she brought me the lemonade and the coffee she's like you look so cute i'm glad to see you double strapping it stay safe baby i don't want to like throw your shoulder out or anything i guess i would i to this day i don't know if i'm secure enough to fucking double strap it i think i'd still throw that bitch on the right side and let her go

I go both ways get an airport or something see that's how masculine I am I'll go both ways but like at an airport or something do I wear one strap or two all these people will never see me again they typically don't know who I I actually get recognized at airports but

by and large these people don't know who I am or I actually get recognized at airports, but by and large, people don't know who I am or don't care. I still mix it up. I feel like if I go one strap, it's my own insecurity. I have a single strap backpack. It goes across that way like fucking Worf from Star Trek.

I don't know. It's pretty comfy. I got sent to me a long time ago by a company that makes good ones, and I just kept it all those years. I need a new backpack. This is the backpack I use when I need one. It's by Ogeo. Yeah, I've seen it before.

It used to be pretty dope. I love this backpack. Now it's pretty dirty. It's been a while joe lozon is a backpack aficionado he is totally into backpacks he'll like go on websites and look at new backpacks he's always got like the dopest most stylish backpacks and he's the one that sent me to that but now he's into backpacks welcome to my backpack with joe lozon clothes on. We know you like pockets, so we put pockets in your pockets.

I almost want to hit you up again. It's a trapper keeper. We got a PlayStation 2 in the back of your backpack. Now you can play it and upset all the people around you at the airport.

Now your backpack holds snack packs. You still have the backpack? I'm Italian. He was always current on the coolest backpack. You know, the kids are wearing

Jansport nowadays. Have you seen this week's issue of Book and Bag? Book and Bag magazine that's like a rich British guy with a peep coat on with a Jansport jacket. Have you seen what Eddie Bauer's been up to, my lord?

I guarantee if Joe sees this he's going to be like, yeah, I know backpacks. More like Sm Samsonite? More like smampsonite. Am I right? Yeah. Having like inside jokes about backpack brands for your backpack.

Nice zipper for it. What's that thing called? I bet he knows like all the technical names for the parts. You know, that little hook that's right in the dead center in the back that you would hang your backpack on in shit school? I bet that's got a name. He knows it. His is reinforced.

Oh yeah, that's a carbide steel hanger. Things like riveted on. That's a woof nozzle! And it's double threaded. A dope spot for your laptop. That's a wolf nozzle. It's double threaded. A dope spot for your laptop. It's all protected there, both

sides. You can throw it down the stairs and only wreck your laptop. Dude, I'm taking that backpack all the way, right? I don't even know how many countries it's been in. My goodness. Six or seven.

I buy my luggage off of Amazon because I have this thought. One of my first flights ever, maybe my first flight ever, Kitty's luggage got lost. And that struck me immediately. Oh, two things happened. One, the paintball company would not give me a free bag, those cheap cocksuckers, just saying. And so I would never buy one because I'm not – oh, wait, they did give me a free bag.

That's right. Sorry, guys. Sorry. I forgot y'all gave me that free bag. Anyway. The paintball company will love that one. Yeah, they'll be fine. No, they did give me a bag.

That's right. No, I always used that paintball bag because it was so overbuilt will love that one yeah yeah that'll be um um no they did give me a bag that's right no i always use that paintball bag because it it was so overbuilt and like made to keep equipment safe in some ways um that it that was just and it held a tremendous amount it was a bit tardis like in that way but if i if obviously i don't use that for normal trips that's for paintball trips or like filming trips but if i'm just traveling i get the cheapest amazon shit i can i can find like like really like like i have this big orange cocksucker now that like you tap it with your fingernail and you can hear how hollow and weak it is and it shows up with skid marks it looks

like someone took a fucking motorcycle did a burnout on one side no cracks no brakes everything's in there like like it doesn't come apart and i just like i don't know i don't have a use case for tough luggage because it's never gonna it's going in the truck of my car onto the airport they'll do whatever they do to it i don't expect it to go well uh and then it's coming back to me but i don't put anything in there that i'm not prepared to lose. I just damaged my, Oh yeah. I linked it. I just damaged my luggage and now I'm deciding whether or not I want to buy this thing or not.

I actually have one, but it's all filled with my motorcycle stuff. I need one for trips and I have a strong preference for backpacks that have compartments. I like to move my dirty clothes, clean clothes into the dirty clothes afterwards. It's just too big. And I'm not sure if I really wanted...

For a weekend trip, goodness gracious, I could fit that. You know what I want? For a weekend trip, this is beyond... You know what? It's a lot. Do you see how short that handle is? That's because the bag is waist high. You don't need a long handle.

That's a pretty wild bag. I was going the other way when I pictured a fancy bag. You ever see that Tom Cruise movie, Joe vs. the Volcano? No. Tremendous movie, one of his early ones. It's got Meg Ryan playing three or maybe four different roles. And it's about a man living in a... Oh, yeah.

Movies where the same actor plays a bunch of different roles. Usually great. It's a very, very good movie um and you know it's uh it's that part's comedic i guess the whole thing is the idea is that this millionaire billionaire maybe pays tom hanks to throw himself into a volcano um he needs tom to do it because it's not like the nutty professor no no it's serious It's serious. Very serious film. It's honestly about Tom. There's a lot of like. He's going to die, right?

There's no. Yeah. Yeah. Tom. Tom Hanks has a terminal condition. He is. He believes he's dead. And this guy is going to pay him.

He's basically saying, like, everything's on the house. Like, do whatever you want with my card. Have fun. But on this day, you got to throw yourself in the volcano because the people of this island need someone to sacrifice to it. I can't remember the rigmarole for why it's important to them, but it is. Business-wise, he needs those people on his side. They need a man thrown in the volcano.

Tom Hanks agrees to the deal. One of the first things he does with the unlimited credit card... Are you pranking me? Is this a real movie? It's a great movie. I cried. Stop laughing. This is serious this is serious not serious this is it doesn't sound serious no but if you want to look up some cool luggage look up because that's what this you know you kept asking questions that we kept going down the road but this is all about luggage god damn it okay joe versus the volcano luggage like look at the luggage that because when tom hanks gets the uh the the credit card

to buy anything he wants first thing he does you know gets a suit gets it gets a shave gets all that stuff but he also he's going to be a traveler now so he gets the most pimp luggage in the world like it's absurd yes he gets these absurd steamer trunks and those steamer trunks literally save his life This is a very highly this is a high search term thing by the way Yeah, because he makes a raft out of the steamer trunks

At one point, they do save his life I do like the look of those That looks something like what you get treasure out of. I mean, he had some stuff in there. Look at fucking Meg Ryan. She's super hot in this movie. Wait, this is the movie?

This is the movie. This is part of the movie. This is a scene from it. They don't spend the whole movie on that rap. This movie's fucking stupid. I don't know why you're so obsessed with it. I'm not obsessed with it. It has a really good...

Why have you based your whole personality on this movie? Why are you so into this scene right here? In this scene right here, Tom Hanks is only giving all the water to her and not drinking any of it, so he almost dies. Because he's sick

anyway. It's a real sweet scene. They're only on the raft for like 15 minutes. Okay. Not even that like really just like one scene they're on the raft what are we talking about we're talking about we have three minutes to kill isn't that funny when you get to like three minutes or three hours and 57 minutes where you're just like, so, I'm fucking alive. Go versus the volcano. You know how it is. Let me ask you a thing then.

What did you mention before that you got recognized in airports a lot? It's the fucking worst. Airports are the worst place to get fucking recognized. It's the most stressful environment. Dude, I had a broken leg. I was totally ashamed of my motorcycle lack of skill i'm having like the i had all these hopes and dreams wrapped up in this motorcycle trip i was gonna go like right out to colorado go through wyoming and come back i look forward

to it and oh my god i counted the days for 38 days i'd write my friends and be like 38 days till our trip 37 days to our trip like the whole way through i'm like six days into my trip and i broke my leg and then i like have a i'm at the airport shipping my motorcycle home i'm gonna fly myself home i'm crushed and defeated and i'm just like just the most down sad version of me and then are you woody's gamer tag i guess i gotta get it up for a fan i am nice to see you it's pretty great how are you you know it'd be funny like getting recognized like that in public would be funnier if they were like are you taylor from pka and it's like yeah and it's like i fucking hate you like that would actually kind of be

funny that pretty that happened almost there was a guy that i've met or um i don't know what that identifies actually because this was a whole thing of the story but i always tend to get recognized whenever i do at the worst at the worst place again yeah terribly dressed i've got a complex about it now but there's but we were in like a doc martin store and these two uh these two people came up to us they're like uh young adults sort of thing i go oh my god finn i was with my friend marisa she was on my streams a lot oh my god they both you know going up to us and everything and then they like after like taking a second and we talked about how are you it's like you know like how do you know me from from the streams i go it goes it changed me a lot and i go oh man i'm so this that's so great because most people

they say oh you really you know opened it opened me up to idea new ideas he goes no it was bad i gave this guy you confused me sexually i gave someone an identity crisis and that's like how it ended like that's what we're on a photo what oh you're a fan no i'm in therapy because of you hey let that be a warning to everyone out there now who's listening if you're thinking about heading over to the fensters twitch or one of fensters many successful youtube ventures then then then be forewarned you could get sissy hypnote you could you could go down a dark dark

path you you're gonna be wearing panties all right're going to be growing your hair out. You're going to be getting your nails done. All right? Isn't your pussy waxed? Yeah. The man's getting laser hair treatment on his legs. I'm getting laser hair treatment on my asshole as well, by the way.

I didn't want to complain. Okay. Why? Yeah. Okay. That's a slow fat moment. That's a show. Come on.

That's a show. Come on. That's a show. That's a show. He's getting his asshole lazy. Call the fucking show right now, Zach.