Painkiller Already - PKA 628 W/ The Smoking Tire: Andrew Tate Arrested, Car Kung Fu, Tarkov Wipe

Episode Date: December 31, 2022

to that old ass game i was just joking oh i can't see any better than that like i was thinking of the the sassy politician i thought i thought he started recording out of the blue oh oh well we've begun apparently pka 628 that with our guest matt fair taylor this episode of pka brought to you by just lock and load nobody else just the premium premium cum pill brand that is going to blow your mind blow your wife's mind blow your husband's mind blow blow a polyamorous group of people's mind we don't judge where your cum well we sometimes do but we you're but as long as you're using our pills to come the most legally as long as you're using them legally because it's most legally, as long as you're using them legally,

because it's illegal to take more than we recommend because the government stepped in and said, you cannot, this is a cum threat. Like this is a weapon of mass destruction. Too much coming. And that's why it's this limit. Are we socializing jizz? Is that what's happening right now?

Actually, yes. Co- jizz. Too long have we been able to afford to bust larger than the Lord and it is beyond time that we give cum pills to those less fortunate. That's very good.

That's very good, Sam. You know he's going to run again, right? Are your mittens handy? Because that's fucking great. know he's gonna run again right are your mittens handy because that's fucking great Bernie's gonna run again there's no way how about this he's fucking old

maybe Woody will go double or nothing that Bernie runs Kyle's upset that I'm taking his money you didn't take my money I gave it the fuck away And Trump co-signed the whole agreement When he came up with his baseball cards

You could have had an NFT instead Like a fucking clown I should have took that $100 and bought one of his clown cards I'm going to take Kyle's money You bought one man? I bought a Trump NFT There's nothing wrong with buying one. I think it's funny to have one.

You know, like, you'll keep it the rest of your life. And someday you'll pull it out like a little, like a gadget. What does it look like? I did not buy a fucking Trump NFT. Oh, come on. You know, when someone says I bought one, it implies that they bought one. They didn't know. It does.

I did. I thought I was doing radio, but I did not. Sorry about that. I thought everything I said had to be truthful and non-humorous. So now that I know the rules of this program, I will... We're kind of like NPR.

Zach says they doubled in price from three weeks ago. They're a good investment. I think they went quickly up and then down. I think they're still... i think they went quickly up and then and then down i think they're up i think they're still up and then went up again huh currently currently currently double is what we're a man saying oh matt's right no they went up and then up and then down yeah you need you you gotta have a hype backing right without a hype backing there is there's nothing right like that like who's talking about a bored apes like anywhere like they're dead right because no one's talking

about that shit anymore without the hype you there's no point to any nft there's no point to any of this crypto stuff without the hype really you know what would like make the nfts like valuable to me is if i could apply them in a virtual world that i cared about because they were like they were like a physical good made of gold no no no no i'm okay no no i'm okay with it being a virtual good but currently i don't know where to like show it off and get some pussy. It's not like I got a Corvette. There's nowhere. Imagine, Kyle, bringing the girl back to your place and going,

let me show you my NFT. It's like, it's the opposite of your cum pills. It is the pussy drying device of 2022. Even with regular art, you can hang it on your wall and enjoy it.

People who come over enjoy it. But if your NFT isn't prominently displayed at all times, boy, is there a lot of nothing there. I know it doesn't get you pussy necessarily, but there was a chance to get dinner with Trump, right? He's kind of slutty. I think you could do it. You could get transitive pussy through Trump.

What I'm getting at is like... Transitive pussy, dude. It does sound a little transactional. Giant Trump grump. That's what you get with the NFT. No, Trump's got a big ass but he does not have a good ass no but it's a train it's a transitive ass is the beauty

parlay his ass into a better ass with a woman i mean the only way an nft is going to get you pussy is if like it's the same way like imagine if you had a go-kart racing track in your backyard you could use that to get pussy just because the girls would look and be like this motherfucker has clearly hundreds of thousands of dollars to blow on bullshit on nonsense and that in itself is a status symbol and she'll be like oh he's kind of an endearing rich retard. Right. That I can take advantage of because he's so dumb. He's buying fucking Trump cards.

This guy makes a lot of bad financial decisions. Yeah. And I could be one of them. Yeah. I could pan out. Yeah. But no, I don't think anyone has gotten pussy off of an NFT. There's a lot of car companies that are trying to like you know pair them with sort of real things in order to you know get on that marketing you know bandwagon

and they know that no one's just gonna buy their shit by itself so they pair it with something like the general motors tried to do a uh a special edition corvette with an nft and they it was some color they called it like crypto green or some some fucking garbage and like literally no takers it had like they made one and they couldn't even sell the one it was so sad yeah i'm sure zach will look up the uh the color because the color had it had some sort of sort of like – it was named after some crypto buzzword. And I can't remember what it was, but it was very, very sad and embarrassing for everybody. The problem with all this crypto is none of it seems to have any value except for trying to find a dumber bag holder than yourself. And I recognize that this is kind of boomer talk,

but there it is. There's the Corvette. If I buy a lot of land, right for farm, I can say, well, how much fucking corn do I expect this thing to yield? How much money can I make off each acre?

How much am I willing to pay for this money production? If I buy one, one millionth of whole foods, I'm like, all right, how much money does whole Foods kick out every year? How much am I willing to pray for this share of Whole Foods profits on an annual basis? When I look at an NFT, it will fucking do nothing forever.

It will never have any value or do anything. When I look at Bitcoin or Ethereum or whatever the fuck else fucking poo coin you're trying to sell me, like, what does it do? What does it get me? Oh, no, no. You're just trying to find a bag holder that will pay more than you did and none of this stuff have you seen um what have you seen a line goes up i've never heard of this what is it's a great it's like a youtube documentary it's probably two hours long but it you you actually just really summarize the whole film in about two sentences look at me you know he hasn't seen it it is a very very good and thorough explanation in great detail of why all of this shit is so stupid um and and and no matter

whether it's nfts or uh certain you know a homeowner accepting Bitcoin to sell their house or a car company accepting Bitcoin or whatever, the whole thing can just be encapsulated in that the scam is just to get you to buy crypto for dollars. That's all it is. There's nothing besides that. That's all it is. There's nothing besides that. Buy crypto for dollars and then cash 50 years from now you're gonna have more bitcoin than you can shake a stick at it's like and it's a few years you can cash out some money and then you'll have money to buy things it's like well like have you seen that meme where it's like you know the stupid people and the smart the really

stupid people and the really smart people agree on something and like the middle people don't. Like the crypto thing, like I feel like some of that, like there are these really smart people who are like, you know, for a lot of mathematical reasons, you know, this is unsustainable. It's not something that's going to parlay into a larger financial system. And then there's like really dumb people like me that are like, but like you don't buy things with it

like you don't go to the store and buy a rotisserie chicken with your coins like what and i think in the end we we will be vindicated what life's challenges is figuring out which one of those people you exactly i'm. I'm a little confused. Am I one of the dumb ones or the smart ones? It's easier just to be like, I'm probably that like Wojack, you know, like hole in the brain guy on the left. Well, you want to be too dumb to have FOMO, right?

Like I'm too dumb to even think about what I might be missing out on. And I'm like, old car, old car, loud, old car, fast, old car,

go vroom. I buy old car. And in 20 years, if you still have that old car, you can play with it, drive it, take someone out in it. It still has value.

So cars go up and cars go down. And in the meantime, they go vroom, fucking vroom. I'm happy with that. No problems for me here. Do you still own that parking garage? Westside Collector Car Storage. I'm wearing the fucking hoodie.

I do. We're building a second one in Gardena, about 10 miles away. That implies that it was a good idea. Oh, yeah. We've been sold out for a year. I know, but sold out can be different things. I could sell it was a good idea. Oh, yeah. We've been sold out for like a year. I know, but sold out can be different things. I could sell it out in a day. We've been sold out at a price that, yeah. Exactly.

You instantly caught where I was going with that. And Zach dropped it, but we moved past it. The Corvette's color was minted green. That was the buzzword-y Corvette. I do like that. Yeah. Dude, building more... I'm not just saying the world needs more parking lots because that's actually

not very good for the world, but if you can build a place where people who want to collect cars don't need to buy some giant estate with their own 20-car garage and can still live in a urban or semi-urban environment like,

like Los Angeles and have their cars kept safe somewhere near, but not at their house. I think that is a, a net positive and we're, we're high density, you know, our, my main place is 125 cars in 11,000 square feet.

Our new place isn't quite so high density, but it's 200 cars in 26,000 square feet. So it's pretty dense. Damn. So what made you choose to be less dense? Is it a more high-end experience or just the best you could do? The first place is in Playa Vista, which is literally across the street from Google and Yahoo. And frankly, the dirt was really expensive. So, you know, the dirt was so expensive that I had to do everything I could to be as dense as I possibly could be.

And we built the building from scratch. And so if you're building a building from scratch, that's fundamentally a warehouse, even a very nice one. Building a 40-foot tall building versus building a 20-foot tall building, there's not much additional cost there. It's really just the 20 feet of wall. Whereas my new place, we started with existing buildings. I bought a pair of buildings that were next to each other sort of in the end of this back lot which is pretty cool but to take those buildings and make them taller

forget it so we're limited by height I would make it more dense if the building was taller I'd put triples or quads in there if I could but the height, it's only 17 feet tall is the reason you don't go down I'd put triples or quads in there if I could, but the height, it's only 17 feet tall. So I have to do doubles. Is the reason you don't go down because of the earthquakes? No, it's because it's fucking expensive.

Going underground is insanely expensive. Really? My current building, yeah, yeah. My building in Playa Vista, my current building, has a 40-car underground level. And then we can fit 90 cars above ground give or take and the basement was 55 percent of the cost of the entire building and holds 30 percent of the cars now is the enhanced cost because of the earthquakes like you got to have a very no actually it was uh i mean in part yeah but it's more because it has you have you're now building a basement with a with a what you

call a deck the floor of the main floor and the ceiling of the basement that's your deck and that has to hold weight you know multiples of normal weight so first off i learned some shit um digging just digging is horrifyingly expensive is it rocky um no but it's wet it's okay and wet give them boots did you consider boots and shovels? We had. So when you have dry dirt, right? Here's some shit I learned. When you have dry dirt, there are places that you dig out your dirt,

you put it in a dump truck. Well, where does it go now? So if you have dry dirt, other construction companies need dirt for other shit right so they will take your dirt for free okay so it's it's i dig it up it cost me money but now it's now it's gone for free if it's wet it costs you ten thousand dollars a truck to get rid of it they've got to dispose of it somewhere they can've got to dispose of it somewhere. They can't use it as filler. Nobody wants it for filler. You've got to get rid of it. Shit.

I got room for like 10 trucks in part of my yard over there. I could just take wet dirt and let it dry across the country. When we were digging it out, it's not even that it was... Dude, I'm not talking about rain

i'm talking about straight up like morning dew wet it like that's all it takes it was cheaper to have two excavators two full-size excavators till the dirt with the bucket for like six hours a day so we could get rid of the dirt for free on the truck dry it that was cheaper than dealing with the wet truck after truck after truck you're talking about shit you never think about it's like this is unanticipated expense i mean it was unanticipated for me but like i'm an idiot i don't know anything about no no no my father was in real estate and you know the way he tells it he's like yeah dude just 12 24 000 checks get written all the time like that's just real estate i i mean i i i wanted like the this the to build my first building the size the number and the scale of the checks i was writing was horrified i mean it was so fucked up like and

i'm not i'm not complaining i'm just telling a story you know it's fine now we have a good business and we have a good building but like sure those four years was like i'm sorry this costs fucking how much you know like you know like like there's 10 000 a truck you know did you have some pride at least knowing that you were stimulating the local economy bro i was i was stimulating fucking harvard medical school with my now every time you hit that pothole on the way to work you're like fill that cocksucker you know every contractor that i worked for me comes you know thank you my kids can now go to my kids can now go to oxford my orthopedic surgeon tells me when i come when someone that you're crazy like is doing well and and like you want them to do well but like

the same time that fucking well i look like i remember my when my lawyer showed up in that new cadillac and I was like, God damn it. I think I've just bought that son of a bitch. I don't like how his office is too nice. You don't want your attorney to struggle to pay his lease, but also like when he's living the high life in that shit, you know, when his bookcases are too ornate, it's like maybe I need a cheaper attorney.

Dude, my moment for that was when my contractors who i love i mean and they're fucking great they're on point and and they're you know they're so good that in the next this current project i put them on top of the food chain there's another lesson i learned which is the first project i hired the architect i hired the contractor i hired the manufacturer of the of our lifts our big quad stackers they all worked for me but no one worked for each other right so they would only answer to me like i said i'm a fucking idiot i don't know anything so they'd be like well the architect says you should do this, and I think you should do this. What do you want to do? I'm like, fucking I don't know.

I have no idea. Now the contractor was the best. Now I put him in charge. Now everybody answers the architect. They all answer to the contractor. I go, what do you fucking want to do? I'll pay for it. My come to Jesus moment with the

contractors, it's a multi-generational business. Father and two sons, and there was a grandfather, but he's retired. When I found out that these guys, and I love them, these guys go, do you know what Catalina Island is? The wine mixer, if you will. It's the island off of la it's like 25 miles off la and it's kind of like a knockoff it's the jersey shore version of the

riviera but in california basically right these motherfuckers they go to catalina every weekend on their own boats meaning the father the grandfather and the son each take their own fucking boat over there the dirt business is booming and i'm like wait a minute guys, you mean you go over there on the family yacht? No, no, no. We eat at the mongrel. Fuck. And they just are contractors.

Just breaking it in. You motherfuckers are charging me too much. Yeah, yeah. Taylor. Taylor, don't ruin it. But Matt thinks it's $10,000 a truck. Yeah. They're like telling people in in spanish not to correct him like but sir we can get rid of it

dos mil dos mil dos mil dos mil dos mil i can do a seventeen dollar. And he's like, he does not know English. He doesn't know what he's doing. Oh, my God, bro. It's funny imagining you being like a coach in a sports movie and all of your employees, they're not working right, and you taking them on a pizza party and being like, you guys got to learn to play for the name on the front of your work vest instead of for the name on the back. You play for the west side collection

dude I used to own a car wash and all the guys were Hispanic and they fucking didn't know I spoke Spanish and they used to talk mad shit in Spanish and they'd find out one day that I spoke Spanish and they'd realize that shit on the day they got fired that's like uh yeah that's something I that shit on the day they got fired.

That's something I fantasized about. It's like being able to speak a different language and hear somebody talking shit about me and be like, speaking Korean back at them. But in real life, I don't know how to speak other languages. Have you ever seen those Instagram videos of white man

speaks perfect chinese it's like all this kind of racist like yeah inconceivable that this white dude could learn chinese like and well like in i've seen some of those videos and like the people that are the most blown away by it aren't like young chinese people there it's like the old people it's like the young they're probably yeah like the old traitor elders the elders of any culture are super racist right it's that's not exclusive to white people like no i think that's pretty pretty solid solid we're the wrong we're the kings of it but there are other cultures where old people are also racist oh yeah but old people all around, mostly, are pretty racist. I don't know that we're less racist than we used to be. I think we're just more quiet about it.

You think so? You think everybody agreed to just be like, you know, we'll keep this on the inside? I know we did. You know, we were like, let's tamp it down, little boy. Let's tamp it down. We'll just have to pretend to be really about states' rights so we can wear our flags. Which, honestly, I've never been that big of a fan. I just want us to be fiscally responsible, goddammit. The Confederate flag, I never liked, even before I knew all the other things. Really?

Because I think it's a bad flag. it's a rip off of the Union Jack it's too similar to the Union Jack like the American flag at least looks like way fucking different every time I'd see the Confederate flag like have you seen those memes of people online who like post a picture of the Union Jack and are like I had no idea New Orleans

was so racist and it's like you're a fucking tard dude remember when sarah silverman posted that very common roadwork sign that like has a line and an s and she's like despicable in la of all places and it's like yeah that means they need a new hydrant dummy you thought it was ss huh no it's like a line with an s but she thought it was ss with a lightning bolt through it no she thought it was a a swastika that's how fucking it looked like a nazi thing yeah yeah yeah i don't know the sign but i i don't know what it means on the road

i've seen that the s with the nazis flag the Confederate flag to me looks cool I like the design of it before I knew it was like this symbol of racist loser traitors I thought it was the symbol of like Bo Duke from Dukes of Hazzard and I was I was pro Dukes of Hazzard oh I'll tell you what what bag you didn't want to be holding is you didn't want to have a fucking General Lee prop car at a start in about three years ago really is that really i could have bought one popular see i i'm old enough that that car is still neat to me i mean yeah i i can i can definitely understand the the the fun of having a a general lead charger and like i'm intelligent enough to fucking tell the difference between a prop car and a political statement.

But, you know, you want mass appeal when you're selling your shit. So I wouldn't want to be holding one right now. There's no way people are mad. Like if you rolled up in General Lee and you hit the horn, you hit the horn and it played Dixie. There's nobody there who would be mad. Dude, my podcast producer, Zach, fucking pranked me. I have a 1986 Ferrari that I had restored, and he conspired with my tech, Donnie,

and they put a fucking horn in my car that plays the Godfather. It's so funny. The first time I used it, I almost fucking pissed myself. 90 minutes later, you're still apologizing to the cars around you. I'm sorry. You can't honk at somebody in anger because it's like playing a tune over here. Like, oh, what a fun loving guy. He's not pissed.

I cut him off. He's just sharing his favorite movie. Paulie in The Sopranos has the same shit in his Cadillac. Yeah. I remember that. That was good. Oh, man. Pauly's still kicking it. He died.

No, really? Pauly from The Sopranos? Yeah, he died like six months ago. It was recent. Is he the one with the hair, the wings? Yeah. He had biceps and good hair The wings and the hair

Oh god damn it What's his fucking name? Don't you leave me Christy Jesus Christ His name is Tony Sirico Thank you sir Nicely done, Zach.

He is, in fact, dead. If you ever need a fucking cheering up, just go on YouTube and pull up Best Pauly moments from The Sopranos. His fucking lines, it's all gold. Everything he ever said is gold.

His whole character, he's so insecure and like like i i love when they go to collect the money from that russian in the pine barons episode you can tell he's jealous of the russians like entertainment system like he sees that remote and he's like i don't have anything this fancy it's what his face is like what the fuck is this piece of shit? He's like, put remote on docking station. What'd you say? Put remote on docking station. He's like, whoops. It's like glass, this fucking remote control.

He just picks a fight with the guy. That pissed me off. That was one of those OG universal remotes. Yeah. just picks a fight with the guy that pissed that was one of those og universal remotes yeah yeah interior decorator from czechoslovakia trying to live his life he's an interior decorator you see the inside of his apartment he looked like shit why did they think he was an interior decorator because tony's on the interior ministry of the serbians or whatever he's like tony's on the interior ministry of the serbians or whatever he's like tony's on the phone with paulie telling paulie like you gotta kill this guy he can't come back

against us he's like he's like he was in the fucking interior ministry he's some kind of a russian commando he killed 16 chechens and like and so paulie is. So he translates that to, yeah, he's an interior decorator. He killed 16 Czechoslovakians. Jesus, his apartment looked like shit. That's my favorite episode. Steve Buscemi directed that episode. I was just about to say that, yeah. That was, I think, that's probably my top three, for sure, Sopranos episodes.

It's fucking lines, banger after after banger in that. The other one I like a lot is called Whoever Did This. That's the episode where Paiomai dies and Tony shows up at Ralphie's place and he

that's that might be my second favorite episode. That was amazing. I'm glad you did this one. Tony, she was a hooah. The pronunciation of hooah on its own, that one word catapults that episode into my top five. The Joe Pantoliano pronunciation of hooah is in the lexicon.

How many syllables is in that word now, sir? Hooah. It's 74 syllables. Yeah. Yeah. It's just such a great show. Every time like Tony gets so stressed out, he just goes to the fridge and like starts compulsively eating.

I'm always like, I get it. Jelly meat. Like I know, I know what you're going through now, Tony, you just need that salt. Your blood pressure is dropping down dangerously to a normal range he's mad at it like like he angrily makes it he's like motherfucking cheese

yeah take a little at it sure a little salami i never i wanted i was waiting for the scene where he just takes a bite out of a prosciutto leg you know straight up just get a turkey leg over there just you should have. He kind of just gave up toward the end when he's in sushi mode, and he's eating it, and you can hear him breathing. He's alone eating it, and he's just like, oh, oh, oh. How do you think that ADR session went?

Do you think they recorded that live, or do you think they had him in the booth? They go, okay, all right, Tony, take a bite and now breathe out of your mouth for 45 seconds. At full pressure. Sounds like you're having a real hard time with these pieces of nigiri. James, we need to hear you out of breath. Could you stand up? Hey, great, great. Hold your breath until I say stop, stop. I hear you out of breath. Could you stand up? Thanks. Great. Yeah.

Hold your breath until I say stop. Stop. I can relate. My friend just smuggled a kilogram of prosciutto out of Italy and brought it over to my house and presented it to me as a gift. And I was like oh and coincidentally I got a deli slicer as a wedding present three years

ago which if fucking you want to make a splash at someone's wedding you buy them a goddamn I hid this prosciutto in my ass all the way from Italy and I'll be insulted if you don't even try the prosciutto.

What is prosciutto, and how is it different than all the other random? What is it? It's a cured pork leg. It's a whole leg of pig that is packed in salt and wrapped in cloth and then hung from a hook at a very specific temperature and humidity for 24 years. That's a message to all the other pigs. Let them know.

Let them see. Is there a reason it's better than ham? Oh, ham is just a horrid cut compared to this. It's so much better. Oh, dry, not smoked and not cured. Dry cured, just a horrid cut compared to this. It's so much better. What was it? Not smoked and not cured. Dry cured

according to Zach. Didn't I send you a leg of something? You did. You sent me a leg of prosciutto. It was delicious. Was it on one of those wooden stands? It was. It came with a wooden stand that I screwed together and put it on. It had a little knife with it or a big

taper with it that I sliced off. I was telling Kyle the time like it did get to the point where i was like i was taking like hunks out of it like i wasn't i wasn't even going slim i was like you know what might be a good idea maybe i cut like a pork steak off of this fry it up for a second then i was like that's that's pretty trashy of me let's not do that yeah and the best the best prosciutto is actually the jamon iberico, which is from Spain. It's even better than the Italian. The acorns, bad pigs.

Yeah, the pigs. The acorns. I want to do that to a person. The shit is fire. Did you ever watch the Hannibal Lecter TV show? I did. In the Hannibal Lecter TV show, there's a part where Gillian Anderson,

who is Hannibal's sort of like girlfriend he if he can have such a thing she realizes that he's feeding her like acorns and snails and stuff things that'll like make her taste good yeah get the fuck out of here really that's fucking awesome and he's like open about it like like and and like there's a third party there and he's kind of being flirtatious about the fact that he's feeding his wife those things. And he's kind of hinting that it's so her pussy will taste good, but it's really so that if he decides to kill her, so that her meat will taste good. Yeah, that's a great TV show.

Yeah. Which one was that? Is that with the man? What is it called? It's the Hannibal Lecter TV show. It's the one with the guy that was like a James. Mads Mikkelsen plays Hannibal. Yeah, that guy's great.

I like that guy. Oh, yeah. I love that dude. He's very spooky. He's a very spooky guy. Creepy face. He looks like a child molester for being real, right? Definitely a creepy face.

No. He just doesn't have a child molester face. Your eight-year-old son went across the street because he's a big boy, and it's an empty street, and he's buying an ice cream from the cart over there. And up walks that creepy motherfucker. Mads Mikkelsen shows up, and he's not wearing his suit that he wears to the Oscars. He's not in fucking wardrobe. He's wearing like a hoodie. He's in a blood apron.

He's wearing like a hoodie and some dirty jeans. Timmy, Timmy, come on now. Don't talk to the man.'s got a real uh he's got a real racing driver name though that's that's he could be a he could be a talented racing driver with a name like that that's a that's the name of a champion matt's mickelson that is a good coming out in it right but his his face is not that kind of racing you know he's not he's not finishing high in the brickyard. He's not.

This guy is the top of the podium on the Super Bowl. He has a serial killer face. Not a rapist face. The subway guy, Jared Fogle. Like, if your son went over and started getting ice cream and Jared Fogle walked up, your rapist child molester alarms would go, because that guy has the face and the body

and the penis of a pedophile. That's not true. Yeah, he molested children. Everybody thought Jared Fogle was great. He turned subway around. No, he... Go back and watch those subway commercials he was like he looked awful like he he was still an ugly awful man he seemed he just

looked better than that he saved the whole point of this is that is that is that what's his face jared fogel's face is a very obvious if you think he's doing something sinister pedophile face mads mickelson it granted he is an actor, but if it came out that he was a serial killer, I'd be like, yeah, I fucking knew it. Harvey Weinstein. Harvey Weinstein. You look at Weinstein and you're like,

y'all know he's here, right? Mads Mikkelsen has the Adam Driver thing. That's scary. The same thing that Adam Driver has. That's what Mads Mikkelsen has. Adam Driver thing. That's scary. The same thing that Adam Driver has. That's what Mads Mikkelsen has. It's that. Ugliness? Handsome, but not handsome.

No, but it's ugly handsome. It's like. All right. Mads Mikkelsen is like handsome. I find him to be a handsome man. Adam, the driver guy, like Kylo fucking. Yeah. That's an ugly dude.

I think he's ugly. We are all much more handsome than that man but i struggle with his body forget his i will never forget his body kyle and you can't make me it was presented to us as a good body right here we have this shirtless super villain with a lightsaber and i'm like but but wait that that's not good oh that's not that yeah that he looked better that's what we're looking for yeah objectively i have to say that's good yeah that's i know the one i haven't even watched that's not what he looked like in star wars the star wars fucking not like that also i know exactly what he's fucking doing because as a wide weight – Dude, if my body fat got down to Auschwitz level, I would still be a size 34.

Oh, is this the Star Wars one? The Star Wars photo is not good. Look at that. Look at that. Star Wars photo is not great. They made us think that that was a good intimidating body or something. Why are you wearing space? He's a wide man.

That man also could lose all of his body fat and still be wide waisted. Why are you wearing spanks? He's a wide man. That man also could lose all of his body fat and still be wide-waisted. If you were to go back to the previous picture, he does what I do in every progress pic. Whatever I do in every progress pic, which is say, shoulder straight, waist tilted. You know the fucking strategies, Woody. I'm on Instagram. Influence for me, baby. If he would have been wearing pants that showed his hips and his belly button, he would have looked a hundred times.

I just imagined myself wearing those Genie Spanx pants. Do you know how not flattering that is to the length of your torso to just have half of it cut off? You got like a cotton hill thing going on? If I put those pants on, I'd look like the penguin. It's not good. I'm not one that wears it on anybody's body.

I have the body of a Humpty fucking Dumpty. It's not good. I try, but it doesn't work. If you want bitches, you know what you need? Two parking garages. Yeah. And an NFT. And an NFT.

Oh. Save some pussy for the rest of us, would you? You need to get the... Imagine getting close to getting laid, and then she's unimpressed by the specific NFT. She's like, oh, if you would have had Trump on a horse. You said it was a bored ape. Yeah, you said it was a bored ape.

This is an excited orangutan. You said bored ape. Yeah, this is a shitty pig. What are you doing? It's probably one, too. It's not good. None of it's good. No, it isn't.

I am trying. I got this. I got the whoop strap so i can track so i can have accountability and track myself is that just like a fitbit basically yeah it's a fitbit that does other things i'm not sure the exact difference is but my ad sales people uh got it for me and and i didn't have to pay for it so that makes it better go whoop yeah actually i find that i find that wearing it like i do work out a little harder because i feel like i'm being watched and so to that degree it does work yeah it kind of gamifies your exercise a bit if that's what people need because some people are

like it helps them more just like like like when i said a game where it's oh my previous workout i got this score and now i have this new amalgamated whoop score. Right. It's like ways, time to beat. That's not my arrival time. I better get there before then. That gamification of working out is exactly why I'm injured every four months or so.

It's like, now that I hit this new high, that's my new standard. I have to hit that every freaking time. Dude, this bitch also gamifies sleep. It's like, you got 24 minutes less sleep today. They're like, oh, well, I'll have to try harder tomorrow. You just like totally forego the fitness part and get obsessed with the sleep. Yeah, right? This is a metric I can do well on.

Just destroys your life. You're sleeping 14 hours a day to get 100. Dude, my physical therapist has the not this but like the aura ring it's like the same thing with the ring and he was like yeah i stopped wearing it uh during the day i just put it on before bed and take it off when i get up in the morning it's just a sleep tracker now that's the problem with the watch the apple watch like it has all sorts of fitness tracking built into it but you have to charge it every day so you lose credit for what happens while it sits on the charger maybe you want to charge it overnight but now you don't get your sleep tracked it's

actually i this one i mean i credit where it's due this thing has a little um a charging battery that you you plug in separately and you charge the battery. And then all you do, you slip the battery over this thing and the battery charges this thing. So it gets, you know, a little, maybe a half inch higher. That's a good idea. But you charge it while it's on your wrist. And it takes like an hour every four days. And then you charge the battery.

It's actually pretty smart. I was like, well, I didn't understand it at first, but like, that's exactly why. So you don't have to forego the things in order to charge it very smart i didn't know you had to charge your apple watch every day yeah it's like a day and a half that thing rips through fucking that sucks dude i have this like bullshit uh four this thing will last 8 days it doesn't do anything it's a Fitbit Charge 4 I think and all it does is it has a sleep option that I never

turned on so mostly it's just like steps and heart rate and like calories and because it's doing so little I know this thing lasts for 90 days I keep it turned off well i i mean i'm the apple watch it's like it's the connectivity right that really goes through

and it has a color screen yeah this thing has a calendar option i can't imagine an easier way to miss appointments than to put my calendar in this bullshit little awful screen fitbit i do like what i like about wearing a fitbit though is it's a way to like be like yeah yeah i work out i exercise your work your virtue signaling your virtue signaling yeah i want everyone sometimes i wear two just buy smaller and smaller shirts Make it look like you're getting bigger One on each arm and then I wear a choker one too A choker Fitbit That's a good idea

Zach go back and remove this We're going to sell a choker Fitbit for women It's going to be a sexy Fitbit I have a brilliant idea I went for a Christmas day hike though. And because I've, I've been wearing this thing for like a week and I've,

I've, I've just noticed what other people are doing, you know, as a result. And we went for a Christmas day hike and it was a small, small sample size. Those who are on a hiking trail Christmas morning, but literally it,

I was shocked that it was a hundred percent hundred percent we're wearing either an apple watch or some type of fitness tracker um and i was like holy shit this is a fucking market share these guys this is this is the thing now is voluntary biometric tracking is is what's in and of course it's to your app, which who the hell knows where that shit's going. Exactly. Jeff Bezos is like, ooh, did Matt get five and a half hours of sleep last night? Fucking jacking off on it.

Oh, it's time to serve him ads that he might not have the mental wherewithal to resist today. Right? I am feeling tired. I deserve a treat. Bye. Did you guys see Glass Onion? No

I didn't watch it yet Oh that's the mystery thing Knives Out 2 I haven't seen Knives Out 1 Oh it's very good I recommend it too You don't need to see 1 to see 2 You can enjoy

2 without seeing 1 but they are both good. And in two particularly, they skewer the concept of the tech billionaire pretty fucking brilliantly. I saw some videos last night. Have you guys ever seen Ball Lightning? I know you haven't seen it in person, but have you ever seen videos? Do you know what Ball Lightning is? Yeah. Oh, yeah oh yeah i thought you were talking i thought that was a movie but like yeah i've seen that shit it's crazy so ball lightning i depending on what you read um see if you can show that zach depending on what you read um they either don't know what

causes it or it's caused by like tectonic plates moving around and like underground pressure from like rocks pushing against then they don't know they'd claim it if they knew um and um it's these weird electrical phenomenon that can look so bizarre and i was just thinking if i didn't have a scientist me in the 24 me now if a scientist didn't explain well i sent you a video if you could play that video that'd be swell because this is not ball lightning this is like something somebody like that video you sent that looks like a uh like the top of a tesla coil that's like that's like a spencer's gifts like yeah it was like a hovering orb. Yeah, that video.

Imagine it's medieval times and you're out back taking a greasy shit in the cold and this happens. This is my new God. Dude, imagine it's 2022 in this. This is my new God. I'm 100% going to pray just to be safe if I see this. Absolutely. I'm going to stop worshipping whatever fucking cat guy

I currently worship. And I'm gonna switch over to blue light god. And I'm guessing that it goes I bet it has audio. Yeah, it makes like a sound that makes it goes, Woody fear not.

Hello my son hello and this isn't a huge spoiler but there's a character in it called Fate who can see the future and then there's another guy who gets shot and he's like oh my god am I gonna die

and Fate is like no you die by electricity so for the rest of the movie, it's fucking hilarious. He's fighting like zombies fearlessly. He's like, get a 1V30 with a sword. It's okay. I die from electricity. That's like, did you see Don't Look Up?

In Don't Look Up, he said, when the weird Elon Musk elon musk like character's like no you die from a brontorock attack and she's like huh i've never heard of that at the post-credits scene it's like some crazy martian dinosaur yeah um is black adam good do i need to see black adam it's. The internet liked it less than I did. I thought it was kind of fun. Dwayne Johnson, very charismatic guy, completely lost on this character who barely talks.

And he's kind of a- And his acting? The range. Dude, Dave Bautista's acting in Glass Onion is exceptional. He is so fucking- He's so good. Yeah, he's so good. Dave Bautista's acting in Glass Onion is exceptional. Is it genuinely? He's so good. He lost me a little bit in the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas special.

How did he phone it in? He got off the performances in every Christmas special. He was so bad. He lost me in the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas. You're 50 years old. I was all in until the song and dance where, you know, Super Santa comes out.

Dude fucking folds it in. Didn't get in shape for the role. You're the same age. Didn't get in shape for the role you're the same age didn't get in shape for the role he did not this is a marvel movie my friends you gotta hit some weights and cut the donuts out my man didn't

neither of those things you know two days before that he was screaming at his agent like I signed up for fucking what this was in my contract I was told the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas special was really good and I wouldn't do it with high expectations. It was so bad.

Dude, the description is the Guardians are on a mission to make Christmas unforgettable for Quill and head to Earth in search of the perfect present. The perfect present is Kevin Bacon. They kidnap him and bring him back. What's his name there? That's the fucking guy present that's him on set the perfect present is kevin bacon they kidnapped that's um what's his name there that's the fucking guy that runs the um all of dc now

it's james gunn on the right isn't it and then chris pratt on the left yeah yeah i mean neither actor looks interested in chris pratt is looking at some titties off screen right now look at his own titties in this film. You will not see shirtless Chris Pratt in the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas special. Yeah, it's the holiday season. He's enjoying himself. He's snacking. They didn't pay them, Woody.

I shouldn't throw stones. I'm still working my way through the pecan pie. Woody, you shouldn't be mad at the actors. What happened clearly is they didn't pay them to get in shape yeah yeah like if they get paid to get in shape they get in shape that's just the way it works sorry zach that was ice that's a that's on cheap marvel like they spent too much money are you telling me they didn't go all out for guardians of the galaxy christmas i think they may have blown their budget on the trans spider woman creator that the next TV show that's going to be.

Every show is more ridiculous than the last, and I care less and less. They're losing a bit on the superhero thing. It's a natural response to superheroes. Every one of those Marvel shows is just another inclusive rainbow. Hey, we don't have a superhero who are you i'm a i'm i'm a no-legged indian man who begs in the streets well we'll make one for you okay beggar man is in he gets a show next fall indian beggar man he's in well i'm not that sensitive to the woken his name is shmishnan and he's like super pity is his power you know what i was sensitive to

no one cared but me when uh the little mermaid got recast as a black girl because so i have a ginger kid right and uh like she was she dressed up as halloween and little mermaid like four times by the time she was 18 she won a costume costume party as Little Mermaid. I have an attachment to Little Mermaid. Oh, the original Little Mermaid's ginger, right? Yeah. I have an attachment to the sort of gingerness of Little Mermaid beyond perhaps what normal people do.

And when they recast her, I was like, oh man, now she's not... I guess she still has red hair. There's no ginger representation out there. You got red hair. There's no ginger representation out there. You got red hair. There's that other fucking princess. Yeah, the little arch.

She's just making something up. I don't know. There's still underrepresented. I'm trying to yes and. I'm much more offended by the creation of a world in which multiple different type of superheroes exist. There's like, oh, in this world, seven different total freaks of nature have superpowers

in totally different ways, and they've found each other. I love that shit. Nah. I'm out on that. I don't know what you're talking about, but I need a ticket. Black Little Mermaid is totally fine with me. But you can melt rocks and you can shoot lightning

bolts and you fucking know each other? Nope. You're in the same class. Come on. I'm in the same fourth grade? What the fuck? Yeah, and you discover it in an innocent way. No one's catastrophically injured

from your you know summoning a ball lightning I didn't have any interest in that movie at all like the black Adam movie yeah the black Adam movie I'll never get over it

nobody cared about that you know what was funny though one person at least I'll never get over it. Nobody cared about that. You know what was funny, though? One person at least. One person did at least. I heard they had a lot of issues because the actress didn't know how to swim. Oh, Jesus Christ. They were filming some of the underwater stuff. They taught those motherfuckers to skate in the Mighty Ducks.

Are you telling me if they teach Elijah Wood to skate? They taught a dog to play soccer in Air Bud. But they couldn't teach that little girl how to swim a lick. Just like a rock straight from the bottom. It'd be way harder to learn how to skate for a film than to learn how to swim for a film. To be fair, they did have that big plastic bag tail on her.

Skating's hard. Were they making... I mean, if they were making her swim in that shit, okay, I could see how that would be really hard, but there's no way. Of course not. She's not in a costume anyway. It's gotta be a CGI tail, right? I want to see

her like Cloaca. Or whatever. What do fishes have? Do they have multiple openings back there and entrances? Are we talking about Avatar now? What the fuck are we talking about? I'm still on that ginger. Talking about a perspective,

what would the mermaid reproduction look like? Probably like a... Yeah. It would be a cloaca kind of thing, a one-size-fits-all poo and sex. Wait, you saw The Lighthouse, right? You wouldn't actually have sex. You would just bust on her eggs.

Did you see The Lighthouse with Robert Pattinson? I would bust in her mouth all the time. When she gets horny, she leaves a pile of eggs and then swims away quickly to avoid predators. It's just not fun. But clearly, you guys have never fucked a fish yeah that's what you think yeah that's how it would work just think large mouth baths bass all right i fumbled the joke they have they have they have they have teeth that would not be pleasant on your penis. Not all of them do.

Well, it's not soft. They don't have DSLs. I mean, big mouth back. Big sucking lips. What century are you from? Like, little subscriber line. I'm a fucking computer guy. I'm like, you know, DSL.

They changed the extras in The Little Mermaid. Yeah, we're're talking about dsl internet that's what we're talking about everyone knows the little mermaid girl is a nice clean white red-headed wow it just um steams my undies when I see it. It just boils my taters when I see it. Then that darn crab shows up and poof. And the crab sounds like some Jamaican

which I didn't like at the time neither. He's the guy who loves the little mermaid but cannot handle it It's Little Richard You know that's Little Richard right Doing the little Lobster

The crab? No That's Little Richard No How do y'all not know this? That's not Little Richard Is it really? Yeah

How did none of you know this? Really? When I was a child Last time I saw it. I didn't know who played anything. I would think it was like Billy Ocean maybe. This is not like into your brain forever? No, it is, but I didn't know it was him. The last time I saw that movie, I was too young to know who

any celebrity was. Zach says no. Samuel E. Wright. What? Wow. A little berenstein berenstein bear thing for you maybe yeah do we have what else is he just the voice guy or was he a real is he an actor am i do i don't really know recognize the little richard die was he even alive in like yeah yes of course. Richard died two years ago. Yeah, so he's... Fuck out of here, really?

Pretty solid run. 1932 to 2020. That's a solid run. Yes. I don't know how old he got to. It's not something humans can calculate. It was the fucking... Okay, cool. Are we sure that it wasn't little richard

it can be if you want it was little richard in little mermaid at all is that why you thought he was in little mermaid because they both had little no yes i gotta go y'all y'all please fix that on Wikipedia for me? That was definitely Little Richard. That was definitely Little Richard. Wait, can I pivot and ask Kyle about a gun real quick? Sure. I might have a good answer. Well, I got invited to go out with this guy, Taron Butler, Taron taryn tactical do you know that guy i might know him if i saw him but i

don't know his name it doesn't jump he's like a dude who's one of those like he's like a champion like tactical shooter with the handguns and he's won a lot of stuff and he makes these guns that are like used in John wick. Um, okay. And, and it's, it's like, it's like start. It's like,

it ranges from like customized Glocked Glocks all the way up to, you know, for like 2,000, 2,500 all the way up to, um, what do they call it? They call it a 2011. I believe it's like an updated 1911 yeah yeah better and uh they

invited me out to shoot some of these things and uh they're crazy expensive they're like you know eight to ten thousand dollars for these handguns um but they felt really well made and really really nice and this guy was like fucking amazing at shooting them obviously um and i don't know i just wanted to ask if you'd heard of them or knew anything about those guys not them in particular but like a ten thousand dollar glock sounds pretty wild um uh that that's that's awfully expensive those uh those 2011s um they look really nice if i could still have guns i'd be buying one of those they're also in like the four or five, $5,000, $6,000 range. I think there's three or four

different ones, like a Target model maybe and a couple of different versions. It seemed like the mechanics you could probably get for $5,000 or $6,000 and then the rest is the finishes and the crazy. What's left of the original

glock i'd like to know that right like like yeah all right you started with a glock right but what what did you replace i like i just want to see the the dollars pile up i'm not saying that the glock's not worth eight thousand dollars i just need to see that money pile up somewhere because it's just a little chunk of aluminum and steel right like what the fuck yeah it's not a watch cars too you know there's cars where it's like oh yeah this is a 1948 ford but like you're talking about the dash you know or and then a vin number and nothing else really but like i'm thinking like like what does his company do and again i don't i i could be completely wrong about this but i'm guessing they're just they're they're making the slides and stippling the grips. It was called a Taron Tactical, T-A-R-A-N.

And I never met the guy. I didn't know anything about him. Someone just invited me to go shoot some cool guns, and I went down there and met the guy. And I don't know. You seem like the kind of person that would know about this shit. If he's making the ones from the John Wick movies,

then there may be a lot of cool factor to his guns that make people pay a bit more for them. Oh, man. I'm looking at some of this stuff now. He's got one called the Pit Viper and the Sand Viper

and a bunch of shit like that. Yeah, that. That's the Sand Viper. Yeah. Okay. It shoots really good honestly no no fucking recoil and you know really you know you can feel the precision and nice nice grip and you know i don't know a lot about handguns but um you know it shot good so i don't know i don't have to tell you um yeah i'm looking at the at that right now that's a i i don't even know this looks this looks really cool i would i would give him that much money for this this doesn't look like this doesn't look like a glock to me i don't

know what he's fucking i don't know what this even is no that that sand viper thing is the 2011 that's not the glock that's a that's like a totally a totally handmade thing i'm just going to scroll down to one of the glocks i mean i see one that he's like you know some basic modifications on like stippling and magwell and extended mag and some other stuff and it's like 800 i don't know i don't know how you get to eight thousand dollars on a glock but no i don't know if the get to $8,000 on a Glock. No, I don't know if the Glocks were that high. The Glocks were a couple thousand. The high-end Glocks were a couple thousand, and then it went up to $7,000, $8,000, $9,000, $10,000 for the crazy shit.

Yeah, for those 2011s, I would definitely pay $5,000 to $10,000 for a fancy one. That's cool. Yeah, that Pit Viper, I shot that. That thing shot great. That looks real nice. It shot really, really good. That stippling looks like it's aggressive enough that it's going to feel really good while at the same

time it's not going to hurt you. I would squeeze guns really hard and if the stippling was too aggressive, it would not make me bleed. It seemed like it would be good for sweating. I like how Pivoted made it past. I don't know what I was thinking up there. I'm still squeezing guns.

That's cool. My dad's turning 70 next month, and I hope there's no crossover between this show and people who know my dad because it's a surprise, but I bought him a blunderbuss for his birthday that's awesome from the 1700s from a company called uh brabar of london b-r-a-b-a-r um a brabar baybar baybar i think it was i think it was brabar but it might be baybar i gotta look but it was like it's a fucking blunderbuss with a brass barrel, and it's really, really

cool. I'm kind of stoked on it, actually. Because he collects, he's got, he's got like crazy shotguns and shit. My dad, like, you know, he's got these, all these Holland and Holland and Purdy and Ivo Fabry and these crazy shotguns. Does it have the, like, classic blunderbuss, like,

flared opening? Hell yeah. Yeah, it does. It flares out. I love that. That's awesome. Yeah, it was really cool. It's like a pirate gun from the 1700s.

It's fucking rad. Didn't they just, if they didn't have ammo, you just put nails, just drop whatever metal you have in there and shoot that at people? Is that right? Did I dream that? Just poured whatever you got in that bitch shoot that at people. Is that right? Did I dream that? Or whatever you got in that bitch. In a pinch, anything you throw down there is getting launched at the enemy.

Yeah, it's a flintlock deal and pretty cool. Kind of stoked on that. That's all the gun content I have for this particular show. Sorry. That's it. The blunderbuss would be awesome. I wait all year to talk about guns with you guys that's all i got can you imagine like like a home defense situation

you have like a home defense situation but all you have is a blunderbuss and like a handful of nuts and washers it's like a guy richie movie you just fire that right into him yeah that'd be cool yeah a guy richie movie it's a really long uncut scene yeah that scene in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels when they're like what everybody's armed with and they just got like the just the shittiest like thrown together weaponry

and they're like what is that it's me brin gun brin gun Bren gun. Bren gun. I love those movies. I haven't seen The Gentleman. Oh, The Gentleman was good. I like The Gentleman. Yeah, yeah. It didn't do well, but it's totally entertaining.

It's absolutely worth watching on a plane or something. Great to see you two out. I got to meet guy richie for for a little bit and uh he was a really really cool guy and uh really nice guy and i'm a huge fan of snatch like like he it seemed for a minute it seemed like he might he might be the uh like like the the the british uh quentin tarantino yes woody likes pussy vagina oh i'm sorry it's my humor too low in my day

like yeah carl tell us how much you like snatch you. You ever see Guy Ritchie's BMW commercials? Oh, my God. Some of the best car commercials ever made. I don't think so. They're still available on YouTube. He did a series of them in the 90s, and they are fucking awesome. I mean, such. Probably the top 10 car commercials ever made.

Four or five of them are Guy Ritchie's car commercials. Did he discover Jason Statham? Did Jason Statham... Oh, yeah, and Vinnie Jones. Okay. Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones. Yeah, yeah. He was on that shit.

And whoever that guy was who played Bricktop because I'd never seen that guy. Oh, I love Bricktop. I would have... He's such a good character actor there that you just want to see two more movies kind of in that universe where he's such a good character actor there that you just want to like what see two more movies kind of in that universe where he's part of it or something he just yeah i could use it just a brick top movie frank yeah he could have his own fucking movie i just went

to some crazy this this chick i know wrote a book a book about baby names actually interestingly enough and had this had a book signing launch whatever party and it was at this house in the palisades and the palisades in la is fucking hoity-toity ass rich area every house is 10 million dollars and this house was it on the water on the cliff above the water and as we get to this house i go they have like they're doing pony rides or something in this bitch, like for kids. Cause I smelled a farm. And when we got there,

this fucking lady who owns this house had two 300 pound pigs in her front yard that were pets. They weren't there temporarily. They were permanent residents. Did you pet them? Did you hang out with them? They were super friendly. They were enormous. They lived there full time.

The houses here don't have land around them. They're not. We're talking about within Los Angeles. Was it the area where they were? There was hay and a couple dozen rabbits also lived there too

with the pigs in the same shit. What are they feeding those pigs? People. I know. I didn't stick around that long. I have two gigantic ass pigs in a non-very big front yard. Those things are omnivorous. Those things are omnivorous.

That guy out in Texas, we went out and shot a rabbit and took the rabbit back and gave it to the pig. And the pig and the wolf each got it in and ripped it apart and each ate their half. The pig and the wolf? This is like a fable. Yeah, he had a pet wolf.

He had a pet wolf and a pet wild boar. And they live together? Like, okay. Yeah. I mean, they're not like regular pets that lovey-dovey. You just got to know that the dog was like 90% wolf. It's mostly wolf. I don't know that it's legal outside of that part of Texas.

And the wild boar, even. You're not supposed to keep those things pets like like but anyway i don't think he's on he's on 80 000 acres so so i don't think anybody's gonna come no dude this was on like a quarter acre and 90 of it was taken up by house this was not a fucking yard i poisoned 600 pounds of pigs and there's other people that live near you imagine imagine you save up your whole life you're not michael bay you're not you're not you're not fucking fucking what some hollywood producer that's got eight of these homes this house is your pride and joy yeah this is it this is the culmination of a life's work you're 82 you're gonna live here for the next three to five and enjoy it. God damn it. And that bitch next door has 600 pounds of pork shitting up a storm all day, every day.

And it's just blowing right into your east viewing room or whatever. And it's pig shit, which smells worse than cow shit. Your in-laws from New York have flown in to see the big success, and there those pigs are shitting. All of a sudden, you're going to be real right-wing about gun rights. It was crazy. Couldn't believe it. It was one of the weirdest things

I've ever seen in LA, actually. I've seen a lot of weird shit. Do you remember their names? Oh, fuck me. I don't. God damn it, Woody. You put me under pressure. It told me at some point. The pig people?

Oh, the pig's names. I'm not fucking around. I was hoping it was a good pair. I hope nothing bad comes of this, but I shit you not. No this, but I shit you not. No pun intended. I shit you not. The woman who owned the house, her name was Pepper Salter.

That's awesome. That's like a spy's assistant in a movie. Wait, wait. Her name was Pepper? Her first name was Pepper. Her first name was Pepper. Her last name was Salter. Is there any chance they call her Peppa as like her nickname and those are Peppa's pigs?

I don't know. I do like that. This name is giving me ideas. I don't know what we should name the kid that Taylor will surely have soon, but I do know that we should crowdsource the name from our audience well here's the fucking crazy thing i just told you that i was there for a book launching party

right uh-huh it was a book of baby names that's the subversive irony of the do you ever like as an author of a baby name book what do you know about baby can you imagine sitting there like you're like drunk like rubbing your eyes you're like writer's Can you imagine sitting there like you're like drunk, like rubbing your eyes? You're like writer's block for your baby name book. You're like Susan, Susan. I'm back. I'm back. Call me a hot dog.

I'm on a roll. I think the book was meant to be like a humorous take on baby names. There's like names like like you know banister and like ink hot dogs don't go on rolls no no no they do a hot dog roll

I would say bun but all right that's funny the pig people that's so unbelievably rude to the because like like woody didn't know and it seems like you learned this matt i'm sure kyle knows like pig shit is like you can go to a cow farm and you smell it and like if i like my grandparents owned cattle and so like i smell the cow shit and it's like oh that reminds me of a

farm it's more earthy than any like offensive pig shit is is not like that it's foul it's bad it's disgusting like it's not like a farm it's like oh fuck there's a pig farm like yeah actually i've flown over pig farms in north carolina and um they handle the poop in a real bad way. They push it all into some sort of lake type thing. And then that overflows every 18 months. And it's an environmental catastrophe.

And it almost seems like it's land. It is! It is! So you've got a lagoon. And the way the inside of the pig house has concrete floors. And they're shaped at an angle, so the piss and the shit washes out. They'll go in there and pressure wash it down, of course, occasionally. It all slides down and ends up in this lagoon, and they contain it there. Every now and then, when they've got enough of it saved up, they pump it through irrigation systems.

And it's like it's the opposite of Febreze, but on an agricultural scale that's difficult to fathom. Just shit. OK, it's the bit. There was this farm near where I grew up. It was like a it was like a weapon of mass destruction had gone off when they would pump the lagoon empty and spread it with their irrigation system. The irrigation system you got to keep in mind is the ones you may have seen

on TV that have wheels that are motorized for this giant arm that's a thousand yards long, swings across the field. I love those. That's great. Sometimes they drive themselves, sometimes you drag it with a tractor. Here in North Carolina, they make this

little lake out of pig shit and then it's seemingly every year and a half or so the levy breaks and the farmers are like oh darn it to heck all my pig shit problems are well it's time to call my brother the big shit man i guess i'll rebuild my area we learn no lessons or really it's just an example of the dirt economy where it's a guy accidentally causing poop problems and then his cousin who has the i'm the poop problem man like he comes in dude i fucking let me tell you about a poop problem right. He comes in. Dude, I fucking... Let me tell you about a poop problem right now

because this happened to me today. I'm in my new house right now. My wife and I moved a couple months ago and we spent two years renovating this house and it's fucking gorgeous. It's awesome. Everything's great about it. But this...

We have four bathrooms in this house. We're living highly luxuriously in this house, four bathrooms for two people. One of the bathrooms, our guest bathroom, main guest bathroom, there's just the toilet clogs much easier than a toilet should clog, right? The first time the toilet clogged, itged it was like wow better chill out on the fucking charmin ultra you know and then we've fucking you know we're taking and it's repeatedly clogged in ways that are not good well today we finally had the the big thing we're gonna fucking snake and descale this because because we didn't build the house we renovated a house from the 60s

so new on top old on the bottom okay and so today the plumber came and removed the toilet from its fucking stanchion or whatever you call it and calls me he calls me in after about an hour and he goes you're not gonna believe this and that's not some shit here's another twelve thousand dollar check you're not gonna believe this there's no problem and i'm gonna give you some money truckload of wet dirt down there and uh and he goes here's what i found down there and holds up about a handful of about six blue construction grade rags and i'm like mother fucker and then he and then he calls me about a half hour later and he goes, you're not going to believe what I found now. I was like, what?

About six more. So apparently while our house was under construction, there was an exposed pipe and they capped it, fucking shoving rags in there. And then nobody took them motherfuckers out. That's over 60 years. So they've been, yeah, who knows maybe, but. Those are good rags... You should keep them. They don't make them like that anymore.

What is the brand of those rags? You know? It's just cute. That's like one of those things where when you see something really old, was any part of you like, man, this is a pain in the ass, but at least the people who did this are long dead?

Part of you thinking that? Like, fuckers no i was like i was like man this is a this is a pain in the ass but at least it's not my shitting and wiping habits causing this problem i mean that's really what i thought at least it's it's something that was outside of the control of my colon yeah i like that they found the actual cause right i hate when it's like you know we're not sure what did it we're gonna button it all back together and hope it stops that's bad yeah yeah well that was the last do that in the surgery yeah yeah are we gonna talk about andrew tate this story is fascinating to me is it because i'd never heard of this fucking guy until like four days ago and i feel like i'm really glad i jumped on the bandwagon now because it's gotten funny quick but is it real is

this this is is the most recent development the arrest re is it a real news story so new it happened like 30 minutes before this podcast started. And here's what's up. So if people don't know who Andrew Tate is, he's a social media personality. He got huge, huge, huge, huge on TikTok. Also big on YouTube and Instagram and stuff. Now he's banned from everything as far as I know. But he still has a huge presence online somehow. I see him on Reddit every day.

He writes to Greta Thornburg and i promise you this will get better and out of the blue is like i've got 33 cars bugattis ferraris whatever they all make carbon dioxide and you know you're gonna like it or not whatever right he's just out of the blue he picks a fight with a terribly worded tweet weird really weird it was a really there was like to do no reason for it etc i and also i have to say factually and i and i and i i what i've learned about this guy is that he's not fucking cool but but but just on a strictly factual basis because i am the car person it is actually quite environmentally sound to buy 35 cars because you can only drive one at a time so you're not inherently dirtier than someone who

just buys say a single f-350 super duty and commutes to work in it because he did call out their eight liter and six and.5 liter motors and stuff. But anyway, so he picks a fight with Greta. But on a purely scientific level, are not making emissions. I hear you. So Greta writes back, and she has a pretty good tweet. She's like, oh, tell me more about it.

My email address is I have a small dick at getalife.com. Something close to that. It's smalldickenergy at getalife.com, which is a very well- get a life.com something close to that it's small dick energy at get a life.com which is a very well-worded tweet i mean it's it's pretty good point thunberg i can't tell if she obliterated him in this or if this is my own bias in the internet's home court advantage that saying hers is like way better i mean they both look stupid the ratio ain't ain't ain't wrong the ratio is pretty extraordinary on the thunberg i did see that okay well take the ratio give me the floor for a second andrew tate makes this reply which you're watching in his robe and in it he's saying greta thornburg has a small dick based on her email address.

And he has these pizza boxes brought in and you can see the Romanian pizza boxes and being an asshole. He goes out of his way for some reason to be like, don't recycle those boxes, drawing attention to the pizza boxes. Anyway, the Romanian authorities see this and they're like, fuck Andrew Tate's in Romania.

We've been meaning to arrest this guy on human trafficking and rape charges. And they've taken him. They locked, they pull him out and they say, we got you. And now he got thrown in jail for human trafficking and rape. I don't know where the rape is specifically. I know what he would do. According to the charges are he would online sort of entice and seduce these women and say like,

like make you think that there was a relationship possibility with Andrew Tate, this charming dude. And then when they got there, he would keep them locked into some apartment producing only fans content like against their will. These are the charges. This is like an SVU episode, dude. they got there he would keep them locked into some apartment producing only fans content like against their will these are the charges this is like an svu episode dude this is yeah yeah not real and uh can you do it better yeah so uh yeah so no andrew tate hey, I wasn't thrown in jail for all this.

I've been swatted. And that's where I don't know where the truth is. It's all so current. The truth will come out tomorrow after the show or something. But yeah, apparently he's locked up for... Was he on the lam or was he in Romania because he is a world hopper vacation guy? I think that's where he primarily lives. He's Romanian.

Classy people. Where's he from? Is he British? Romania, I believe. Oh, he's Romanian. I was just going based on the accent. My understanding was such, I'm not an expert or anything. He's American and British. Are there really women who said that they were

forcibly held there against their will. Yeah. Like to specifically to make only fans. Cause I know there's the one girl who, um, she, I know that she said that, um,

she was brought there for sex and then held there. But there's like a live stream video of that girl in particular, like going out to get everybody pizzas and stuff during the live stream, popping out and going to the end of the driveway to get pizzas and stuff. His end of the story on that one was she was saying some stuff so that her boyfriend wouldn't be jealous

that she had flown to Romania with Andrew Tay. So let me read this for a second. The brothers are accused of... We at least call this an unforced error. At a minimum, let's just call this a fully unforced error so this is what i'm trying to say the brothers you know is my mic on the brothers are accused of luring women to lavish villas using what dicot called the lover boy method in which they struck up a relationship over social media before convincing the women to come to romania to pursue a romantic relationship instead they would

allegedly keep the women in a small studio where they're forced to work as pornographic models for only fans and other websites the scheme unraveled when an american woman managed to send her location to her boyfriend they alerted the.S. Embassy that they were being held at the home without their consent. The cops raided the home, yada, yada, yada. I don't believe this. I don't believe this. His side of the story is, of course, that

I had six girlfriends. I told them all, listen, you're going to go on Only... I'm going to sleep with all of you. You're going to go on OnlyFans. You're going to make money, and I'm going to take part of it, and I'm going to keep you organized. He's You're going to go on OnlyFans. You're going to make money, and I'm going to take part of it, and I'm going to keep you organized. He's like, four of them left, of course. Four left, one was down, one called the cops. Yeah, right.

One for six. Bro, 17% success ratio. It's a numbers game. It always been you just gotta find more you're describing you're describing a dungeon right with like padlocked doors and like cameras in rooms and like guards i guess with weaponry and like uh i don't know i guess you got to have like doctors coming in for these women like like how long are they held months and years like i need some details because i bet what it was was that girl who didn't want her boyfriend mad at her.

I don't know. Just kidding. I'll play devil's advocate. Greta Thunberg, she never says anything witty. Her thing isn't being witty. Her thing is being outraged and oddly looking. That weird little Down syndrome face of hers. She's an adult now. I can say what I want.

It's a pretty unforced error. It's not like someone hacked this dude's fucking Twitter and picked a fight with this girl. He picked a fight with this girl. He didn't need to fucking pick. If it wasn't for the pizza boxes, they wouldn't have known he was in romania that's

what i'm saying they're little twitter how did he get i'm curious about that too woody because like how does he get into the a country without them knowing right like you know what i mean i do know what you mean in europe you, you could drive across a border. So what I'm guessing, what it sounds like to me is there's a... You could drive across a million borders in Europe. No one knows anything. Yeah. Okay, that's fair. But I think he flies around a lot.

I know one of the things that he flexes is that when he flies to Germany, he doesn't just fly. He flies his cars in too. But he won't just... He's like, ah, but I'm going to need a car for my friend too he wants like he's gonna need a car my brother he you know his car is there too and look once you're flying three cars you gotta get fives like the same price roughly so there was the some of the folks i and again like i said i've never fucking even heard of this guy until recently honestly i i but but some of my some of my more educated uh Twitter people have said that the actual scam is that he is a tax-related thing, that the cars he brags about, there's no way he has enough money to legitimately afford the cars.

And there's a financial element to this and the human trafficking. And again, speculation. The human trafficking is some kind of a pretext to a financial-related fraud crime. I'm not buying. I mean to say I'm not understanding this part of it. How does buying cars make you money in taxes? Well, no. It's not that it makes you money but if you like for instance like he uh the the there was the original tweet showed a picture of a bugatti chiron right okay that's a four million dollar car like you

gotta have a lot of money a lot of money to buy something like that and look i i i've been an online personality influencer for a fucking long time like you're not making that money doing that you're just not you're making it from what if he had a dungeon full of women on OnlyFans. So I know he makes his money. He has something called... That's Bugatti money. I think it's called like... Fuck. I wish I could get it right. There was something I read called like Hustler University. Hustler University. Thank you. Yes.

Which I think may have been some type of fraud in the same way that Trump University may have been some type of fraud. So what he does is he has these assistants that work for him and coach different classes in Hustler University. And these guys, they don't have nearly the charisma he does, I'm told. But they go online and they tell you how to do a dropshipping business or how to be a baller or just how to make money in different places. He teaches SEO and how to make money online.

His access is $50 a month. What I read was that's where it begins. It's $50 a month and then you spend like 500 on this course or 1500 on that course it can start to cost a lot more but yeah basically you're it he does discord like hangouts that sounds like chump change though in the grand schema thing like i'm telling you if you got that dungeon full of ladies working only fans like like that's your bread and butter like you're talking about oh yeah we made we made 3 dollars this week on the in the g club and we ate we made thirty three hundred eighty thousand this week on those three whores who like flash their pussy online like it would be a whole different scenario

i didn't consider that yeah for some reason i just assume hustle university was the real money maker and not the six women in the room but but'm just guessing. Sometimes six women in a room make a lot of money. Six women in a room make more money than a man can even fathom. You work your whole goddamn life you can't make as much money as six women in a room a week. That's hilarious.

Six women in a room is like 12 parking garages. You know how fucking talented you've got to be to out earn six women in a room is like 12 parking garages. You know how fucking talented you've got to be to out-earn six women in a room? Yeah, there's really no way. If they're typing, I don't have to have any fucking talent at all. Secure your spot for just $49. Our price will increase to $147 after 170,000 members reached. Current number, 168,000.

Wow, that number, verifiable, real, definitely not 100% made up. Wow, did you guys realize that Andrew Tate is running the most lucrative streaming service on Earth? Did you know this? Whoa! Wow! that's incredible he seems like that seems like did you see it now look i'm not there may be financial improprieties but he has this one smaller tweet about how he doesn't want to be you did you guys

see that yeah yeah yeah i don't really think anything about this guy is ball even like the tweet between him and greta thunberg neither one of the things they said what he said was cringe what she said was just low tier not funny it's just people who like andrew tate pretending that what he said was like owning greta and it's people who hate andrew tate pretending that greta did something even vaguely funny it's like whoa oh whoa my goodness like a burn. It's like, don't be retarded. I bet it's on clever comebacks on Reddit like it was funny. I mean, look.

Her joke's not that great, but it baited this guy into getting arrested. You have to understand. That makes a strong point. According to who though? It kind of sucks, which it does.

According to everywhere, like CNN. Let's assume the pizza thing. If the pizza thing resulted in him getting arrested, then her tweet wins. Straight up. CNN is saying that he was arrested in connection with human trafficking

charges. I'm not sure if you've seen it in particular, but I'm looking at it on NBC, The Guardian, New York Post, The Daily Beast, Market Watch, Rolling Stone. Yes. Human trafficking, he's long been running from that charge.

Yeah, he's associated with that. Oh, it's like a polanski it's like that yeah but he doesn't make great movies and you know something great youtube videos we need to give him credit where credit's due here uh you know he said he's not going to recycle those pizza boxes you're you're not supposed to recycle pizza boxes that you shouldn't be doing that and so thank you andrew going green he's that's clearly why he did it he didn't do it this is the second time he's been arrested for human trafficking taylor can you read this tweet yeah it's because of the grease uh you are

poor you are unimp this is from andrew tate you are poor you are unimportant men do not fear you your woman disagrees with you your lives are shit if i was forced to endure a year of your life it would be the worst level of depression imaginable this guy i never watched his videos so like i this guy's a fucking loser i don't like it this guy is so this guy is so bafflingly insecure like he this guy has no confidence in himself disagrees with you i I'm just saying. I mean, he's a bitch. Come to Missouri. He's a dumb bitch, and I don't like him.

Mine are locked in a room on OnlyFans. And you know what? He's the level of insecure that if he saw a clip of someone as low tier as me, he's that much of a bitch. He might respond to it. That's how insecure he is me yeah yeah respond to it when you get a jail dumbass like no this guy he's insecure like does that not do other people not get that read from him when people talk about how many women they're fucking how

many cars they have like to a point it's very embarrassing it makes you seem i think i hear what you're saying i want to go before kyle can i i'm sorry i see him and i i just because i want to break the trend i'll just break everyone's show i haven't been interrupting you but um uh oh i think he's playing a character that's what i i think he found a very lucrative character and that's what I'm seeing. I'm not seeing an insecure guy. I'm seeing an actor. That's definitely possible, too. I think it's probably a fusion of the two.

But even an actor, even as an actor, you've got to have something in there. Because, I mean, well, it's his own name on it. You know what I mean, well, because it's his own name on it.

You know what I mean? I feel like people would figure it out if it was totally bullshit. You know, like if it was totally an act. Well, like, all right. So for one thing, he's got a little bit of a thing to stand on. So whenever he's like, I'll kick your ass or I'm tough or I'm this or that, people will be like, oh, really? Like, yes, I'm a multi-time world kickboxing champion.

In what? In the Teletubby League? In some made-up trash? No. I think every world kickboxing champion. Don't real fighters not act like that? Like really good fighters? Don't real fighters not act like that?

Really good fighters? I thought really good kickboxing and MMA types are not like that. People are people, dude. They run the game. There's some MMA fighters who are like, I can't wait to go use this kung fu on a dumbass at a bar. I'm going to fuck the body up tonight. I'm going to make a quarter meal Saturday night, but I'm going to jab me a Mexican Saturday.

They don't care. They're assholes everywhere. What was the point you wanted to make earlier that I interrupted, Kyle? Oh, it's gone now. It's not in the book. It's gone. Is it in the book?

You never know. Let's see what I got in here. What is that captain's log you've got? here but yeah what is that playing uh like wearing the robe and everything you've got look at that this is my memory journal wait the book is bigger than last week yeah and more old-timey it's got that is like some national treasure book upgraded books and yeah wow that's where he keeps his racist theories. It's got handmade paper. Aged paper.

Handmade paper. Very nice. Is that dog damage? It might be. I got a couple thoughts here. Really more of a joke than anything. I think I had something about how like, yeah, yeah. I just write down little, little, little, little things that come to me.

I wrote, but, but, but I have to like decode my thoughts later because I always write in my own like stoned shorthand. So here I wrote ADD concentration camp. And so I've been looking at this for a minute and now I know what it is. I was, I was thinking that like, if your kid had ADD, you'd, you know, camp and and so i've been looking at this for a minute and now i know what it is i was i was thinking that like if your kid had add you'd you know maybe for the summer you'd send them to a concentration camp that is a mitch headberg joke that's a fucking fuck yeah that's a i mean it's

not no no i don't i knew when i wrote it like like i don't mean that he used it i mean that you've written you've just written channeled the energy you've channeled you've channeled mitch hedberg i said it wrong delivered by mitch hedberg that's almost the perfect joke r.i.p i loved him he was so fun why did he die i think it was a heroin thing that would be the new sport that i wanted to introduce. It's like, you know, equestrian dancing, you know, horse dancing. Yeah, I remember you were really into that for a bit. I'm into it, but there's a huge problem, right?

You got that. You got that idiot riding the horse wearing that stupid. Now, hot chicks up there put hot, scantily clad women on the horses. They're getting jostled around. They're bouncing everywhere. They're dancing. Lose the horse. They're dancing, too. Lose the horse. Yeah, just lose the horses. They're getting jostled around. They're bouncing everywhere. They're dancing too.

Lose the horse. And you just have women skipping with big tits. Just a man with a woman on a leash running around. If you just had a brawless woman on the horse,

you're 80% of the way. You know what would be a hilarious thing? I want Nancy Pelosi brawless on a dancing horse. It're 80 of the way you know it would be a hilarious i want nancy pelosi it's called it's just called the world breast championships and it's just the biggest breasts and like you can tell like who's going to get knocked out in the tournament beforehand but you watch the whole thing and it's just women press they first there's like a couple competitions they press their tits together and then they do the scale test and it's all about the scale test whoever honestly it'll be the scale test they should have to like smash beer cans and shit you know what um unrelated but competitive has someone just sent me car kung fu have you guys seen this shit yet fight cars just ramming no two people fight in a in a car in the car i'm telling you goodbye

divisions like in the sedan division you'd want to be smaller like like like i think i was talking to somebody by the sea the other day like a girl asked me about having sex in a car and i'm like i'm six foot two there is no comfortable sex in a car i was like that's for short people and i think that that car fighting might might lean toward the uh the the shorter man as well like i think if you're like five foot eight like you can move around there you're running around doing laps in there remember that great uh the great jump up and down where he bought a conversion van and his wife was his brother-in-law or something was like well i have the new mercedes s class he's like i got a place to fuck your sister it's like a great fucking joke

car kung fu um the one i saw was from russia shocker and uh it was uh in a convertible because you need the the tv camera access you gotta be over in there yeah so they are in the convertible and there's like you know seat belt choke outs are allowed i mean it's pretty like taxi cab confessions but you get your ass kicked that That's the show I want to see. See, both these guys know it's coming. Always is to be first one to cigarette lighter. Next one, it is not illegal, but I bring

a knife in the car. A station glove box. It's this or the front lines When's the last time I guess Have you picked up a hitchhiker Never My parents really ingrained in me

That was a way to get raped My mom was heavy Laying it on me like Do not pick up hitchhikers they will molest you and it's like at any time yeah i would say if that was ingrained upon me i would be picking up pretty girls all the time just hoping that you're just like oh no my all my clothes have fallen off. I would stop for people all the time. I picked up a hitchhiker within a national park, which I felt like was a little safe.

You know, they had done a hike, and I had brought them back to a campground. It wasn't like a proper, like, you know. Or they dumped a body and a car, and you helped them with the getaway. Maybe. That's possible. Maybe I did.

So I'm still here to tell the tale. Oh, you're doing some finger painting up on the mountain, huh? Maybe wash off in the creek before you hop in. He just turns around. He's like, get in the car, you goof. I barely see hitchhikers now. Yeah, I know. I have a friend who does it all the time, though.

I guess I don't mean hitchhikers as much. I got a friend who straight up does it all the time. I did it twice this year. There'd be people around town walking around town and our town wasn't built to walk around. It wasn't uncommon to pull over and be like, Hey, you okay? Yeah, just walk into the store. You want a ride?

I'm heading that way like like that's pretty common like like we would do that all the time my dad would even like send me on those ridiculous missions to take the trash that passed for his employees to like the liquor store like like like it's only trashy if you make them ride in the bed of the truck. That's what, that's what it gets fucking extra trash. I don't think, I don't think I've done that. I don't think I've done that. I've wanted to, I've been, I was the guy, I did it in Mexico. I said, I made video of it and it wasn't a pickup truck.

It was like a, it wasn't a dumpster. Yeah. Like a fruit truck or something like bigger than a pickup truck andale andale oh like a threw you in the back with the with the fencing around the sides kind of yeah that's a good description yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um before i you know i got about i got about 15 before i got a cruise out of here um you guys did you guys want to talk about cars do we care if you don't it's fine i'm just curious because like that's the kind of the thing i do i don't know is there anything going on in the car

world oh wait tesla's stock was at like 109 it's funny that's where i was headed so every time you come on this show you make the forecast the prediction that the cyber truck will never happen have i been wrong yet elon musk world-renowned truth teller has said that the cyber truck will be coming out in 2023 he's like it's a real thing it's gonna happen 2023 yeah which it was it was a real thing in 2020 2021 2022 also yes you left out 19 that's what it was actually dude but yeah it was real all those times too so you're sticking with it i i started to waver i started when he was like hey reminder cyber trucks happening sure yeah or maybe he's just saying that because of what's tesla's stock price tesla was the worst performing company in the s&P 500 this year. Yeah. Well, because there's – look, I don't necessarily wish their shareholders harm, right?

And if you like the Tesla Model 3 or Model S or Model Y, you should buy one. Like I'm not going to go out there and say don't buy a Tesla if it fits your needs. I write about cars for a living, and I want you, the royal you, to have the car that makes you happy. Even if it's a car I don't particularly like. Your needs are different from mine, so whatever. If you want to buy a car and that's a Tesla, like fucking buy one. Like I don't give a shit. It doesn't matter to me.

But what I don't want is corporations lying to people, whether that's FTX in Alameda or whether that's Tesla or whether that's anybody. Like I'm anti-fraud and i'm anti you know bullshit and so um you know it's obvious at this point that the whole full self-driving thing was a scam or if not a scam i mean scam involves a the mens rea or whatever right you know which i believe it was it was um highly optimistic at a fucking minimum but mildly also bullshit and a lot of the stock price the the big run on the stock the huge run started in 2019 right around when they started saying our cars

will be able to drive themselves which was a lie then it's a lie now and that's been pretty much proven at this point i have this thing happening right if you're remodeling my bathroom and you say woody this thing will be done in a week and it takes you 10 days, 16 days, then you were just wrong, right? You weren't lying to me. Your estimate was just off.

If you say, Woody, this thing will be done in a week and it takes you 27 weeks. Then it was a lie, right? You were full of shit. There's no way that you really thought it was going to be done in a week. You were just lying to me.

That's where I am with Elon Musk and most of the stuff that he says he'll sell yeah well i mean you know there's one of the most viral tweets of the last month was a guy who a guy who said and i don't remember who the actual tweet was but the fundamental context of the tweet was i don't know anything about electric cars but elon came with electric cars and people said he was a genius and i don't know anything about electric cars so i assume they were right i don't know anything about rockets and people said he was a genius with rockets and so i assume they were right but i know software and he said some of the dumbest shit i've ever heard in the last month and so I'm staying the fuck away from his cars and his rockets.

And I think the Twitter thing, and full disclosure, up until November 4th, my wife was the director of research at Twitter. And so I have some insidery stuff that I can't necessarily talk about. that I can't necessarily talk about. But believe you me, everything that's been made public is fucking nothing compared to what happened behind the scenes with all that. But a lot more people know about software than know about electric cars or rockets. And I think everyone is learning

that this guy is not a genius. He's an investor. He's made a few right moves here and there. He's had a couple of good ideas, but his genius is not transferable to all media all the time. And that's what a lot of this crazy inflated stock price was. And if you look at Tesla as a company that builds and sells cars, then it was ridiculously overvalued. It's not a tech company. It's not some tech. It's not Amazon. It's not iTunes.

It's not even Bitcoin. It's just a company that makes cars. And you can give them credit where credit is due. They made electric cars cool by building a good-looking and fast electric car 10 years ago. But their technology is incredibly stagnant. They've rested on their laurels in some places like build quality and incremental improvements. some places like build quality and incremental improvements and they've put it all they've bet it all on black with full self-driving which was a total fucking scam um it is it is not materialized and using the existing technology that they have it will not materialize it's not

possible they're putting radar in the cars now or live well they took it out they took it out the the earlier cars had it they took it out and said we don't need it we are camera only it's possible with camera only it's better every every other serious player said uh bullshit and now they're putting it back so everyone else was right and they were wrong and now we're seeing in real time with twitter how not a genius elon musk is meanwhile if you paid ten thousand dollars for self-driving and you have a car that doesn't have radar in it just know it will never be good you if you i mean it's it's highly likely at this point that you have bought a car if you have bought the, quote, full self-driving option. Oh, by the way, as of two days ago, a new California law has made it illegal to use the term full self-driving in California.

They have declared that misleading. And so beginning in 23, taking care of the big problems first in California. Look, I love California, but at a governmental level, we fuck up a lot. You know what I mean? Like, I love my sunshine. I love my windy roads. I love my beaches. I love my legalized weed.

You know but but but california government does fuck up on a regular basis and so i won't defend that but but every once in a while they fucking hit one and they they have made it illegal starting they haven't they haven't given an exact date it's not like by January 12th, but it said the law says starting in 2023, it is illegal to use the term full self-driving because it's misleading. And I agree with that. And for years I've been saying, like, won't somebody do something about this? And finally they have. You know, there's a lot of things.

I'm the Elon Musk hater on the show show but i do admire how he swings for the fences you know when he tries to do full self-driving when he tries to do the boring company spacex whatever he he's always running going for this home runs for these grand slams and every one of these falls short of what he's going for but i mean he's done something special right i mean putting something like like being in like like i don't really i'm not that pro or against him but like it seems like ambition is probably his best quality like he clearly wants a piece of everything yeah he's potent he's ambitious like he wants his hand in every pie like what do you like if you've like worked in business worlds like what he knows like all of us know is it like always the like

smartest guy at the top or is it very often the dude who fucking wakes up grinds wants that like next level like wants to attain it like it's a goal in itself for that guy often that's not the guy who's like a genius coming up with the ideas he just surrounds himself with people who know how to do it because he wants so much to achieve that well look that's how that doing that is how you end up really fucking rich in a world of vc cash It's not how you save the planet, and it's not how you build an ethical, sustainable business model in a world where the fundamentals of your business really matter. You know, it's just, you know, if you judge Tesla as a car company,

it's massively overvalued. SpaceX, if you judge that, it's a government contractor. Like that company is a government contractor. And here's Elon Musk and his other company at Twitter like shitting on the government while basically being an enormous government contractor. Like there's a double speak there that doesn't really work out and and look if you want to go well okay respect to elon musk because he's the one of the five or whatever richest people in the world well that's your level of of of judging him like. But he's positioned himself

as someone who's going to save the planet. And I think the actions he's taken have actually been more towards, I'm going to be the richest guy on the planet and figure out a way to get the fuck out of this planet before bad things really happen. Then I'm actually going to improve the lives of of a of a significant number i don't believe for a second that he's like obsessed with like

oh how are the people of romania and those poor neighborhoods gonna get around when the oil what are we gonna like no it's just a marketing way to frame Tesla and his other endeavors in order to get like green money from the government. Well, and now with what he's doing with Twitter, he's, you know, he's abandoning all those, you know, all the left going to quote my friend Alex Roy on this, Tesla allowed you to virtue signal and vice signal at the same time. You could go, I'm saving the planet with my Tesla, and oh, by the way, it runs a nine-second quarter mile. I'm not sacrificing anything. It looks like an Aston Martin, and i'm fucking running nines i'm drag racing lamborghinis and i'm saving the planet while i'm doing you know you can virtue signal

and and vice signal at the same time which is so interesting um and and that's that's a concept that my friend alex roy uh was really talking about a lot and and and he's very very smart about this kind of stuff he's like a kind of a philosopher in that regard. But yeah, we talked about Tesla's valuation and it kind of flew by. I'm not sure it's overvalued anymore. And I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying I'm not sure. It's exactly what I said.

Ford's valuation ratio is about seven, right? So if you buy Ford, it'll kick off enough profits to give you the money back in seven years all right cool and then every year after that you just now you're in the money cool tesla's valuation is about 30 that's about their p e ratio so why would why would you buy a company it takes 30 years to pay you back it's about growth if you told me ford was going to quadruple in size i'd say i'm suspicious is ford really going to quadruple their market share their size their their customer base if you told me tesla was going to quadruple i'd say oh well maybe maybe and then when they do their price

earnings ratio is right in line with ford's well look i mean that is a rational um uh level-headed way to look at a stock price and look i'm not i'm not a stock guy i'm not talking you're jewish right yeah right i'm not really a stock guy i i have finance people that handle my finances, and I'm a car guy. So I honestly, truthfully can't speak to the nuance of stock valuations in a way that can bring new light to it. But I will say. Oh, okay. Go ahead. No, sorry.

I will say that what they've not done is invest in Tesla, I mean, invest in realistic new product. I do not consider the Cybertruck that. And they have aging current product. truck that and they have an a they have aging current product um and and they put a lot of uh um uh uh let's call it um i don't know i don't have the word i don't know the word right now but like they've they put a lot of their hopes and dreams on the self-driving cars thing and really oversold it far beyond what they can deliver and even elon musk himself who should never be believed at his word because his word is fucking terrible i mean if you if you listen to everything he says and consider that news you're you're the sucker at this point he's a hype guy he's a hype guy but but even he said

you know are it are the valuation of tesla is dependent on this the self-driving thing working which it's not going to in current in current state um they just don't have right now the fundamentals of car building to deliver on that. Now, they may at some point with rational leadership, with rational investment, with investments into the fundamentals, but they don't have it now. And so I don't necessarily think that at $100 or $110 a share, they're super, super overvalued. I thought at 400, you know,

when their company is worth a trillion dollars somehow with a 2% market share, that's fucking crazy. I mean, that's just not, that doesn't make any sense. That's based on them delivering a product. It's a tech company. Have you not seen their dancing robots? Yeah, right. Boston Dynamics would like a word.

They literally put people in robot outfits and had them dance and said they were getting into artificial intelligence. That's like something I would pull as the CEO. It's so terrible. We're pivoting entirely to animatronic dinosaurs the next year in an effort to show their progress they used real robots and they were terrible and they just used a more athletic guy just was that andrew tate in that suit the counter argument to tesla being like undervalued or appropriately valued that I made before is that like, oh, they reached the success they did based on government subsidies, helping people pay for their cars, low interest rates. They reached the success that they did when there was no competition, when it was the Tesla against the Chevy. Is it Volt?

Bolt? I don't even know. And they were better than that. Bolt? I don't even know. And they were better than that. Well, now, buckle up. Because VW and Audi and Ford and GM and everyone else is going to get into this market. And they make high-quality cars with quality control.

And they've been doing this for a long time. And Tesla has some ideas, like Tesla's UI with the tablets and that kind of stuff. I'm not saying they haven't had some good ideas. They have. They've absolutely had some good ideas, and there's some really smart people that work there. And I don't want to take away from their real products that they've delivered, which they exist. You see them out on the road every day. But the mainstream automakers are coming the ev credits are running out their era of exclusivity is over and and and it's not that's not going to swing back the other

way i mean mainstream automakers are only delivering more and more evs and transitioning more and more of their product lines to evs every single year and every time someone is unhappy with their tesla for one reason or another when they're looking to replace it they're going to have more options than ever before do you think that uh just so I'm tracking, does Tesla still have the best electric cars? Or you're saying at this point they're not even better than Fords? Or I don't even know who the example would be for them. No, I mean, it depends on how you want to judge it, right? So what Tesla does have, and what is unfortunately not good for society is the private supercharger network, which is more reliable than the general public supercharger network.

Now, that's great if you own a Tesla, but if you want to look at the world, it's not good because it's a waste of space and a waste of energy to have any kind of charging area that's only good for one make a car imagine gas station imagine you had to take your ford to a ford gas station and there's a chevy gas station right fucking there yeah and that would be terrible right and that's what we're looking at with tesla charging right it's great if you own a Tesla. It's reliable because the software only needs to interact with one type of car as opposed to with every type of car. Remember when Apple CarPlay first started and it was really wonky with all the different types of cars, but they figured it out eventually. That's where we're at with public budget. So Teslas would only be able to charge at Tesla stations and everything else would have to charge at the everything else station.

Teslas can charge everywhere. Oh, okay. But other cars can't charge at Tesla stations right now. That's what we're looking at right now. So good for Tesla owners, bad for the world so that'll literally be their big selling point if they maintain that network over time where it'll be like a verizon map where it'll be like here's the access to energy if you don't have a tesla here's what it looks like if you do and now in europe in the european union tesla stations are legally required in many countries in the eu to provide power to non-teslas yeah they're required

to have batteries that can come out too that ain't happening here so so this is like tesla has a huge future if he can like if he can use his control over the government's entire space program because he's the only one sending us up there anymore right like to get him to be like hey maybe uh maybe you just let us do this little monopoly thing where we put our charging stations everywhere. And hey, look, the thing about a Tesla station, it draws so much power. We can't have a Ford or GM station within three city blocks of any of them. Well, yeah, we do have a lot of them, and it is going to be hard for them to find a place to put theirs.

I don't think it's the same department. I think it's a different department you're talking to but all interconnected right without without something like the eu regulating it which right now we don't have you know they do have an advantage there having said that the cars themselves have in many ways lost their first mover advantage that they have. Ford, not just Ford and General Motors, Audi, Porsche, and not to mention you have startups like Lucid and Rivian. Audi and Porsche make more sense anyway to compete against someone

who's going to buy a hundred thousand dollar tesla they're probably i mean i just drove the lucid air dude the lucid air is way nicer than the tesla model s i mean it doesn't have the supercharger network but it's a nicer product the rivian trucks and suvs are dope as i've been in one of those they're awesome they're so i, I mean, they're expensive. It looks the well thought out. They're built, you know, you would never get an Rivian and go, this is the company's first vehicle. It's built super, super nicely. And then you've got, you know, I mean, whether you agree with it or not,

the government is forcing all mainstream manufacturers to produce a certain number of of electric vehicles the hyundai ionic and the kia ev6 are super nice i mean really you know they're they're i have a um my wife drives every day the ford uh maki which is a really nice product um tesla is losing its prestige because well they got a 15 to 20 year first mover advantage that that they could have really intelligently worked with and worked from but from the twitter thing and all this other shit they're burning that credibility by not investing properly in the product and with all these crazy distractions and him doing him burning his liberal cred by going crazy fucking right wingy it's not

gonna go well for them yeah that's that's what i was starting to say like he he went right before the midterms and said vote republican you may agree or disagree with that, but it's undeniable that it's bad. Not who buys his cars. It's not who buys his cars. And then you got a guy like Michael Jordan saying, hey, I don't get political because Republicans buy sneakers too. That's the famous Jordan line. Republicans

barely bought Teslas in the first place. And now you're all in with them? Bad call. Why do you think Republicans weren't buying Teslas? I was looking at it as a green thing. In call. Why do you think Republicans weren't buying Tesla? I think I was looking at it as a green thing in the same way that I think Republicans don't really buy Priuses. Yeah. I mean, and people and look, certain people are trying. I mean, gee, have you seen the new electric Hummer?

I mean, it's not for lack of trying. They're figuring out that the Hummer like went from and this is like mid 2000 so i'm like in like a teenager i'm in high school i remember like the hummer being the sickest of sick cool things in like 2004 2005 and then by the time i was in college you saw hummer and people were like wow that's gay's gay. When did we switch? Three years ago we all said it was a cool army truck.

No, it's not a cool army truck. We switched a week after Hurricane Katrina. Why? Because gasoline was five fucking dollars a gallon and it never went back down again, ever. It's been crazy high since it has yeah no kyle's right there was there was a very drastic shift right around hurricane

katrina and all of a sudden you know gas guzzling you know giant suvs immediately became uncool and and and one of the you know if you look at gm you look at Ford to an instance, you certainly look at Dodge and you, and they go, how do I get my middle America people to buy an electric car? You make it more wasteful than a gas car. That's how you do it. In 9,000 pound, a thousand horsepower truck, somehow is less efficient than a gas car. The Rivian is 8,000 pounds. Yeah, they're super heavy.

Yeah, yeah, they are. It's no joke. Batteries are heavy as fuck. I want to see collision data. Not about... It's not good. It's not good. I mean, SUVs in general...

Do you want it to tell you after you get in a wreck where it's like... I thought you meant pedestrians. Kyle, mainframe. Oh, fuck pedestrians. Damage. Look, my favorite thing about Texas is those brush, hell you after you get in a wreck where it's like pedestrian mainframe pedestrians look look my favorite thing about texas is those bros brush guards that they've all got on their fucking trucks and people see that they're like oh what an asshole you're how bad bags how big's your dick

if you've ever driven it through texas at night that's your shield against the knight. You need that motherfucker. Hitchhikers? No, fucking deer. No, you're going to... I like my way better. No, they always tell you when you see a hitchhiker in the road, you don't want to slow down. Because if you slow down,

it can hurt you more. You just got to plow through them. It's a shame because they are living creatures, but... Yeah. You need one there. You need a brush guard there. you because the uh the deer because of the brush large roadkill i guess i'll call it yeah deer fucking deer yeah yeah they make

them specifically for deer there's like a deer guard are texas deer different than the deer that north carolina and georgia have um it's it's more about like the wide open nature that like the overpopulation that seems like like i'm talking about just there are these big stretches of road where it seems like you're just driving through their habitat and it's not like in georgia where it's you're driving because it's texas you're going fast they're straightaways like like like the speed limit is 80 and like the speed limit so people are going 100 and taylor did you think i drove 80 through texas you're adorable i mean wide open this group but but as you're going you see like pods of deer every five minutes like three four five

sometimes you'd be like that's 17 of them out there like they're just hundreds and hundreds i mean that's why we're there we're shooting stuff you know like everywhere you went there was something to shoot in texas yeah um guys my wife is knocking on the door i'm gonna bail out of this one it's about time for you to take a advertising break i think yes it is but i uh as always i'm sorry for uh bumping you i i know i was supposed to be here two weeks ago, and I had to bail last minute, and I very much apologize to that.

No worries at all. We always enjoy having you. I always like spending a couple hours with you guys, and thank you for entertaining me and my lefty California politics. Anytime. Anytime you need an offensive impression, you pop back. And I just plug real quick, of course, the smoking tire on YouTube, the smoking tire podcast. If you want to hear me talk for four hours a week, if you have a car you need stored in California,

West side collector car storage, WCCS..com If you want to hear me get political, the smoking tire on Twitter. Fuck Elon Musk and his fucking shitbagness. And thank you guys for the time. I always appreciate it. Happy New Year to you all.

Happy New Year. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah, of course. And I'll see you again in a couple of months, right? Sounds good, man. Happy New Year. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah, of course. I'll see you again in a couple of months. Sounds good, man. Thanks so much. All right, guys. Shout out to your audience.

Thank you very much. I'll see you guys later. Later, man. Take care. That's cool. I was interested in his take on the Cybertrucker because Elon said it was coming out soon and I took it to be true. I think he brings up a good point he always says well he he did send that message across well salted by letting us know that his wife was just fired by the man oh i like that message is like taylor's meat this episode PKA brought to you by Lock and Load,

the premium, premium cum pill that's going to have you busting in ways that women go, what's wrong with you? They're going to say, is you really want this? You take pills for this? And they're, and they're going to say that,

but they're really going to be saying, my God, this guy cares about physicality. This guy, my God, I'm going to, I need eye drops. I need,

I should have brought extra makeup cleaner over today because I have so much cum all over my face. It's stuck in my mascara. I can't even get made to the bathroom. I'm so painted clothes. Kyle, is that gross to you? He's talking about all the cum that our listeners is going to shoot all over. She'll be wet tomorrow

from your gigantic load today. It wasn't that. You get your own sloppy seconds 24 hours later. Don't you want that? Let's not sell it that way. I'm going to give a veto. She's getting a urinary tract infection for sure. Lock and load.

Code PKA. Code Jizz. Get yourself this wonderful product. Get yourself the pretty workouts. Get yourself the proteins. All with code PKA, code jizz. Get yourself this wonderful product. Get yourself the pretty workouts. Get yourself the proteins, all with code PKA or code jizz, and enjoy that discount. If you're someone who works out and you want high-quality workout stuff, this is very, very high-quality supplements.

There's a reason Derek's company is the fastest-growing workout supplement company on the planet for the past couple years, because it's high-quality stuff. It's efficacious. So check it out. Code Jizz. Code PKA. Lock and load. Start coming like a man. What do you got, Kyle? There it is. Jizzm. I want the new code

to be Jizzm. No, don't get in the text again telling them to make it Jizzm now. I want it to be adding two extra letters. I want one code that's really long and it's hard to tell the L's from the I's, but it gives you like 16% off or something like a little bit more off. It is code 000011LII and then the old English A.

Or is it? Or is it? Or is it? That's the way we advertise things now. Tom Brady or Bill Cosby? Brady's hotter. I mean, we're not talking about their bodies. Oh, topics! I thought you meant

who I'd rather get molested by. I think they pair well together because Tom Brady on the downward decline big time bill cosby rising star so here's the deal with tom brady you may know his wife you know divorced him was clearly cheating on him with her jiu-jitsu coach or whatever like she's like immediately moved on and she's like with them on and on social media took half of tom brady's money which probably amounts to hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars.

And you might think to yourself, you might think to yourself, Woody, I can't feel sorry for a man that still has half of Tom Brady's money. Well, Tom Brady's half of Tom Brady's money was in that FTX stuff. Oh, no. So now he's going to be playing for a while.

He's actually, he needs his job on the fucking tampa bay whatever the hell's right he's he's gonna have to win another super bowl he's gonna take a lap for seven out of necessity he's like come on guys huddle up huddle up i need this shit god damn it now look i gotta get five more passing yards this quarter to hit my bonus. What's the bonus, Tom? It's eight grand. Now I need that. That'll be the alibaba for the week. Well, I'm doing it for Ethereum.

Sorry for Tom Brady. There's no way that he's hurting for money. But I mean, I feel bad for him as far as like his career. And I'm not a football guy. So maybe I'm reading this wrong about his career. It seems like he did that thing that athletes sometimes do where they could leave on like the tippity tippity top. But instead they decide to like hang out. And so it's not that it takes away any of their legacy.

It's just the most recent. It's like when a family member dies of cancer, like you have that cancer memory of them instead of what they were like in their legacy. To be fair, he won the Super Bowl last year, right? It's like when a family member dies of cancer. You have that cancer memory of them instead of what they were like in their prime sometimes. So I think that's kind of what it is with Tom Brady. It sucks. He kind of tarnished the legacy, but I think it's still understood among football people.

I don't think he's tarnished the legacy at all. Do you know who's tarnished the legacy? No, as far as being the best the whole time because wasn't he the best the whole time he was in the league and now he's not anymore he could have left everybody has like a rise and and like a fall but he won the super bowl like a year or two ago zach first of all zach can you tell us when he won the super bowl i bet he knows off the top of his head yeah the years mixed together yeah yeah my take on these pro athletes and how long they stay it's like they should stay as long as they want and it's fair for them to stay as

long as they're better than the replacement would be right and i think tom brady's easily i don't know shit oh he won in 2021 okay so last year last super bowl i'm sorry um well it's it. It's really like two years because we're about to have another Super Bowl, right? We're so close to it being two years. Two Super Bowls ago, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because 23 will be in a few months. Anyway, oh, oh, and it's

you should stay as long as you want to, as long as you enjoy this job. It's fair to stay so long as you earn your team. As long as you earn your spot, right? Like Wayne Gretzky might be able to get an NHL slot today just because he'll sell tickets, but he's probably not good enough to play in the NHL today. Dude's like 60 years old.

Yeah, there's no way he's an old Wayne. He'll fix them up and do them well. What if he does like Bill Dautry, but in the end? The bell does, sir. It's unfair for Gretzky to play today brady though he's still not the top of his game but the top of the game he's a good quarterback i don't think the discussion is like has he gone too far or is he if he's good or bad like like like that's not even okay he's he's still an nfl quarterback who's getting it done. I think Matt Ryan just got fucking benched.

The guy's way younger. Brett Favre toward the end, I remember his last game. I think it ended with an interception to the Rams or something in the playoffs. It was embarrassing. It was embarrassing. He was just like, ugh, fucking threw it away. Gunslinger. Gunslinger.

You're a little dick, and you're stealing from the poor people of whatever trashy state you're from. Arkansas, Louisiana, I don't remember which. Scumbag. Zach said that he has, I guess, 21 touchdowns and nine interceptions this year. Again, I'm not a football guy. That seems like a lot of interceptions compared to the touch. That seems like a bad ratio, right? That was last

year he says last year he was 43 and 12 i i don't know anything about football i don't know what the ratio is supposed to be touching that seems bad i know it i know he won the super bowl yeah yeah but like kyle you kind of understand what we're saying with like, like to be the guy for what, 16 years or whatever it was at the time. And then just punch out is like a different vibe than being the guy for 16 years and then going, I'm going to retire and then going, all right, now I'm going to be a serviceable average guy for a few years. Well, he's had one season where it's, he's had one bad season, right? I mean, this will probably be his last season season i thought he just wasn't that special anymore he won the super bowl i think

that's a good i but like this year this year he's an nfl quarterback he's just not a special one i think yeah yeah like he's still good enough to be there nobody thinks less of tom brady this is about that horrible wife that took half his money and those East Coast liberals who took the rest. These cosmopolitan I don't know what to call these people.

Whatever background they may hail from. What not. The bastards, whoever took Tom Brady's money and, you know. That great man's money. He is a great man. No, no, no. He's one of the great. It's just a different, when someone

leaves at the top after being on the top the whole time, it's like. Who does that though? Who's your best example of someone who did that? You know what my favorite example is? Was he MVP? Did he get the McCruder Trophy that year? Did he get the Red Leaf Cocksucker Trophy?

This is what you got it right. Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning went to the Denver Broncos, and he was a below-average quarterback with a name that was as good as he got and he played a shitty game but he still managed to win the super bowl some fucking how and then he hightailed it out of the league on top and i'm like that's genius that's genius this guy i don't think he was a below average quarterback i'm. I'm a Peyton Manning fan. But the team he was on was so good. Peyton Manning was the second-best quarterback for a decade.

Tom Brady was the best quarterback for a decade. I was a Peyton Manning fan. I really liked how he would break down the defense and start screaming those audibles, and you'd see his offense shift around. It was like he was playing Madden, and he's literally calling audibles. And it was incredible. I was impressed by that.

I hadn't seen that. And then he could play Tom Brady, and Bill Belichick's like, yeah, move him however you want, bud. It's going to kind of end the same every year for you, though. Every year, it was just an ass-whooping from Tom Brady. I remember some rough ones. Tom Brady had this career where it was like Super Bowl every other year for 15 fucking years or something like that. Literally, he won the Super Bowl on average every third year

for his entire career. And he played for, what, 19 years? It was kind of neat that he left the Patriots and then won another Super Bowl, sort of proving that it was him. Yeah, that is cool. And Belichick hasn't been doing so hot. No, I don't think this diminishes him at all. But what I want to talk about is the man who got no money.

He seems like he's clearly the GOAT in the football world, and I am not one to question. I don't know about that. I don't know enough about football. It's just like, I mean, he's just won so many goddamn championships. Who would be the GOAT if not Tom Brady? Or at least that quarterback. I don't know if they do it by different –

I'm sure they do it by different positions. He's got to be the greatest of all time. I don't know. I've heard people make a lot of different arguments from Terry Bradshaw and Dan Marino, but I don't know enough about football. The only sport where there's no argument at all about who's the best is hockey.

It seems like every other sport they have like, well, there's Jordan, there's LeBron, there's Tiger Woods, there's Phil Mickelson. I can prove you wrong. Who? Michael Phelps. That's a good point. I said sports. Tiger Woods.

You said sports. You got me. What about that other guy, Ryan Swinman? There is a Ryan Lochte, but he's not even that's what it was locked nest monster yeah i mean i mean i think that would be a better name nickname you know you've got different eras sometimes well often in in every sport really right like like boxing and baseball and everything. Like what made Babe Ruth so good, like in 1907?

The training he put into the game. Because he was getting pitched to by a fucking one-eyed painter. That might have been it, right? Like maybe he was a bum. Maybe he was just the only guy who ate enough Wheaties or whatever they were called back then. He ate enough to be properly fed and he dominated a bum. Maybe he was just the only guy who ate enough Wheaties or whatever they were called back then. They paid him enough to be properly fed and he dominated. Yeah. That guy gets 100

grams of protein a day. Oh my God. Wow. Can you get a picture of Babe Ruth? Was that it? In my mind. In his prime. Google Babe Ruth in his prime. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Don't show me fat Elvis and be like, he's impossibly fat and like

ridiculously out of shape and how could he have ever been an athlete but i think in reality like he's not that fat i think he was like a like just a broad strong guy but also like you know those old baseball uniforms it looks like they just had kind of one size and they just draped everyone in a big old uniform so he his face isn't doing him any favors that's very true his body is 30 pounds overweight he has the face of a guy who's 70 pounds overweight well some people just have and that's okay sometimes if that's your faces if i was uh if i had to bet though if babe roof was going to have to to face you know i don't know the brave starting lineup i bet he's getting smoked i bet he's getting smoked i bet he's going oh for four on the day. I bet it's rough. I don't know. I bet balls didn't move the same

way back then. Or they moved more back then because you could do anything to the ball. The balls were completely... Oh, did you hear about this little controversy? Apparently the MLB used two different balls at least two different

balls this year without telling anybody they had a ball that didn't pop as well for the regular season and they injected a heavier better ball for batters anyway for the postseason that's why the Phillies

got second we joked around about the NFL doing that Amazon thing baseball did the shit and just didn't tell anybody they put a hotter ball in for postseason play you know what a skeevy cool controversy have you heard of george santos santos do you know this guy no i know politics but no so this guy is the i think his name is congressman His title is Congressman elect. And he won House of Representatives as a federal government position in New York. And he's a Republican. And he's a liar. A liar's life. Hang in there. The shit that he's told.

So he's not an incumbent. This is his first year. No one knew him or anything. And he lied about his job history. He said he worked at Goldman Sachs and Citibank. Not true. Didn't work at either of those places. He lied about his religion. He said he was Jewish. Now he's like, well, I was raised Catholic and I'm a practicing Catholic.

Can I interject? He's like, I'm kind of like a Jewish person. I'm Jew practicing Catholic. Can I interject? Yeah, but I'm going to get this out. He's like, I'm kind of like a Jewish person. I'm Jew-ish. Honestly, I am on his side now. I like that. He only said that after they put the screws to him and they were like, dude, are you a Jew? Then he breaks it down,

but he had originally said, the quote was, I'm a proud American Jew. That's the quote. And they're like, are you? It's totally legal to pretend to be Jewish. Ask anyone in my local synagogue. I never claimed to be Jewish.

I am Catholic. Actually, no. Don't mention any of this to them. My friends. I never claimed to be Jewish. I am Catholic. Actually, no. Don't mention any of this to them. My friends. I never claimed to be Jewish. I'm Catholic because I learned my maternal family had a Jewish background. I said I was Jew-ish, but he's not Jewish at all. He said he owned 13 properties that he rented out that he was some sort of big-time landlord.

He actually owns zero. He's a landlord. That's pretty Jewish. Also not true uh landlords i'm trying to remember oh he said his mom died on 9 11 that didn't happen this guy is he so he's just compulsively liar could you imagine just as a politician being like, my mom died in 9-11 and just leaving that out there? And then they tell you no and you're like, don't you sully that day. Don't you dare. What are you, an Afghanistan terror? Because they did it because we know they did it.

Can we agree now that the next guest we have, that it's the first time we're meeting them, Taylor claims to have been in tower uh in tower one and like tells the story of 9-11 from a first person point of view even though he's like far too young to really remember much like like 10 years old like like i want you to like have them transfixed with like a really emotional story and then like ends with like and we just you know the flames and the smoke were getting to us. And I held on to my secretary Marge's hand, like you had a secretary back then. And we jumped.

We just jumped. We jumped. And I saw the plane coming and I said, duck! And I ducked and the plane tussled my hair. It was so close to hitting me. No, I want you to tell the guest that you jumped from the tower, from like the 87th floor, but you survived. I landed on Tower 7.

No, it was your girthy secretary, Marge. Yeah, I made it into a bush and she collapsed into the top of Tower 7 and caused a controlled demolition. If you had a morbidly obese person, let's say 550-600 pounds, and you jump from the 50th floor of a building and you get them

right underneath you, you use them like a big cushioning meat pod. A pillow of sorts could could that provide some no no no because they're still full of bones it's gonna be really hard down i have to hear about how good they are at dark souls and i kill myself could you could you like position yourself to leap off of them? Technically, I own the trailer. I...

I'm sorry. I mean, I pay the taxes like I do. You cannot land on a fatter man that does not stop it. I wonder if you could survive something stop it. I wonder if you could survive something like that. If we're jumping together,

let's flip a coin and whoever loses goes on bottom. Let me get on top of you and ride you down. You're just going to die in a long... If I'm on the bottom, I death take zero seconds. I'm on top of you perfectly.

No, because we're still full of bones and shit. Even a big fat guy has a little bit of concrete. I just need to slow down a little. A little cushion. If I'm about to die, I want to try it anyway. You can take the top and ride me. I don't need to penetrate you.

It's not negotiable. There will likely be some incidental penetration going both ways when we land and compress. You know, it'd be fun as if Woody comes in the first 10 seconds of the drop.

And then he's like, this never happens. I want to die! Change my mind. I'm not into it anymore. He's curiously good at controlling himself in free fall. So he's like one of those winged squirrels from all of his practice. No, you could not survive falling on a fatter man.

You'd just die slower and grosser. Here's the thing. You know the thing about the elevator where you jump at just the right time? Everyone's had this idea of dealing with an elevator. Well, the physics don't add up for that. doesn't it add up i've been told can i do it real quick so the elevator's falling at 50 miles per hour right and you're in it so you're also i'm gonna get better props all right so no i'm sure we're tracking with this this is the elevator all right my vape is you the the phone's the elevator. We're falling at 50 miles per hour.

Whoa, hold on. Slow down. We're falling at 50 miles per hour toward our certain death. We're just about to hit the bottom traveling 50 miles per hour, but you jump at the last second. Let's pretend for this argument that I'm good at timing this jump. You're perfect at it, in fact. Perfect timing.

10 for this argument that i'm good at timing this jump yeah you're perfect at it in fact perfect timing but you jump at five miles per hour on a good day so now you hit the bottom at 45 miles per hour is that the issue does it really fall that is the exact that kind of speed because i yeah it's like if you could accelerate yourself up at 50 miles per hour with like a rocket booster like you'd be fine i mean there'd be an elevator exploding around you but you would have you would have neutralized your speed at the acceleration be just as bad as the fall oh that's that's a good point i was just yeah yeah yeah if i could jump at 50 miles an hour and that would be as bad as falling but the issue is the issue is that you're accelerating so quickly from zero to 50 miles per hour you're having to do that in the span of six inches let's

just say from your your leap yeah none of this works you just not it doesn't work you know yeah i wouldn't think so but but luckily elevators are incredibly reliable in the first world it turns out you got to go to the asian countries to see your elevator and escalator deaths which is why i um i do i go to suburbs that primarily feature asian people being sucked into escalators i love that shit. Did you see the one the other day where this little cock, this little brat, maybe 11. The escalator goes precariously close to a wall.

So if you put your hand between that, you know that rubbery handrail, right? It really grabs. You can't slip. Unfortunately. So he gets his head between it and the wall, just being a jabroni, hanging upside down with his head stuck in the...

But at the top, it gets really close to the wall. So his head is just jammed in, and the thing is just continuously rubbing against his neck. Pushed into the drywall. And his mom, of course, Asian mother, right? Not just Asian mother. Bring a great edition. pushed into the drywall like like like and and it's like mom of course asian mother right and not just asian yeah she's like oh it's like spanking his ass to stop but he's dying of

course so like you know it's woman um and and it takes a long time like the video you remember paranormal activity where they fast forward and like while you're like watching the person sleep it was like that while they were rescuing the kid. But still he's just like in there upside down being like, I don't know, skinned alive. It was, it was pretty,

pretty hardcore. But what I really like, and you never see these coming and they never have audio is when the entire escalator just seemingly collapses into another dimension. higher escalator just seemingly collapses into another dimension and it takes the person or people with it into a black demon hole and they're just gone they're just dead crushed by an elevator and there's just like chinese characters at the bottom and a time stamp oh i have 2300 hours huh some year some year the year of the the rat i guess our elevator inspectors i can't think of an american elevator that's ever crashed like i never see that footage i never well the reason for this is big elevator is an enormous lobby in the united states you don't know this

it is the second after cars the second most common form of locomotion. Elevators. You know what I do hear about that I don't think gets enough attention? Gas pumps don't always deliver a gallon. Gas pumps are like, they're like, oh, look at this. Wake County, 15% of them were off by more than

10%. That's a lot of fucking gas pumps being off. They should be accurate. I'm trusting them. That's a huge percentage. I can't measure the gas that's going into my truck. I wouldn't stand for that level of discrepancy buying a soda. Right? If it was like

here's your Diet Coke, it'd be like, wait, hold on. Change, change, change. I can feel a lot of air in this can here, people. You say that, but I bet you tolerate it with your potato chips with every purchase. Yeah, that's true. You're cheesy. I'll take that in the box.

I did go a little silly with snacks the other day. Did you? I did. I have a lot. Kyle wants to get it all. I do all my gas station stuff at the same gas station. I mean, like fuel. And if I'm getting like anything,

beer, whatever, super sketchy. I don't know where these people are from. Somewhere about not here. Yeah. Not here. He calls me my friend.

When I walk in, my friend, like it was cold as fuck the other day. It was six degrees here. And I walked in there. He's like, hello, my friend.

What can I do for you today? Like, or whatever in there he's like hello my friend what can i do for you today like or whatever the fuck he sounds like i was like it's cold out there he's like cold this is a small word a small word for what it is today i was like that's fucking profound give me those blunts. Get the fuck out of here. You didn't even respond as profound. And they have ginger tonic for sale.

Everything's behind a locked thing if you want to get a vape or something like that. And I'm kind of sketched out. I only give him my Discover card because I feel like that's the one that, if it gets ripped off, it'll do the least'll do i wouldn't even steal a discover card because because it's whenever i whenever like one there's one guy and he'll always be like yeah swipe your card and i'll use like the main big machine there right whenever hakeem is there he's like use the little

machine and i'm like all right but it's like way over here dusty and shit. But it says green. He's like, you're good to go then. You're good to go, my cousin in Kama already has your information.

Fuck me. It seems like this might be a cash establishment. Maybe you should start paying cash. You think they'd appreciate that? I wish they would say that. I bet they would. I know that... What are those people that like cash? The ones.

No, don't you fucking do it. Well, I know some people prefer cash for some reason or another. I don't know why they would prefer cash. I don't know why they would prefer cash. I don't know why they would prefer cash, because that's got to make it a lot harder when you're paying your taxes, because you've got to deposit. Yeah, because you have to keep careful track of all that cash

at your gas station wheat slash wheat store so you can pay the correct amount in taxes. Yeah, it's important stuff. I haven't heard anything out of Kanye. I think he learned his fucking lesson. Where would you hear it? Where would you hear it? Exactly.

He wouldn't hear it anywhere because he's deep black. I mean, I guess someone would link me to it if he did something cool. I also want to talk about Bill Cosby, though, because like I said, Tom Brady on the way down, Bill Cosby on the way up. He's a free man, of course. And he is planning a comedy tour in 2023. And I want to go. I'm going to go to Bill Cosby's fucking show if Bill goes. And I'm going to scream something.

I'm. RSK. You should scream the only thing. rsk you should scream the only thing there's only one thing you could scream that would make you the feature of the story i don't want to get a severe beating from dr cosby's posse i don't get it taylor what is the thing he would scream if he pulled a michael richards and just yelled the n-word out ah i was no i'm not joking about no yeah bill i'm a huge fan a bit of a rape squad killer myself no he'll be he'll be back in prison sell out you know it'll sell out it like those tickets will go fast and when it happens you'll be like kyle you're still gonna go and i'll be

like dude the tickets were 800 for the cheap ones. I bet that'll happen. I'll fly down. We'll go together. It'll be a date. If it's affordable, I'm going to go. Like, why wouldn't you? If Taylor goes, I'll go. And we'll finally do the in-person PKA.

With Bill! With Bill! We'll get him as a guest. Bill, huge fans. You know, the thing about rapersers people think it's less fun than it is it's like bill this is this isn't the angle we were going for tell us about the the you know even theo acting bill would have a whole thing about how like it's better because they don't judge your weird your weird foggy eyes during the sex. Now the thing about

putting lewds in someone's ice cream is they don't make a face such a goofy eyes when you're fucking them. I really hope he does it. I think we're in a quasi-universe. I ran into Jared from Subway

when I was in the clink oh that'd be the best comedy tool is that he's even worse than me what would his comedy be because back in the day there was a lot of that like you know america's dad shit you know the thing about being a rapist is people don't seem to care for it. His old style, like stupid delivery, but it's all about his time in prison. He used to tell black men they need to pull their pants up. Remember that?

I do. He was real anti low pants. Yeah. He had a different message for the ladies, though. Yeah. Man, you're're gonna want to pull those pants up and ladies let me take them down yeah that's what he would say you don't even have to let me that's the crux of it remember that uh there was a little reference in uh in the boys

where there was a guy who was like from that time era like he'd been frozen or whatever he was like oh yeah dr cosby great guy make some strong drinks though you wake up the next morning feeling like you had a marathon running your ass like i love the boys it's one of my favorite shows on tv right now and there's a spinoff called is it v or something tv yeah it's like v university or something. You know what they do. They got the junior characters in a learning environment or something like that. Yeah, I'll watch

it. Did you ever see the animated one? I didn't care for it. That's right. Never mind. That's fair. It was kind of wacky. I tried it. It wasn't the same show that I like. I understand that it was the same universe, but it was a very different kind of show.

For sure. Boys is great. I look forward to more of it. I'm still watching 30 Rock. There's no shows other than that, but Tarkov's what I've been doing. I was going to ask about... I'll keep my topic for later.

Before you go, I spent all my topic for later. How is the, before you go, I spent all day trying to fix my computer and I fixed it. I was so excited. I got it. The recovery drive was redid the OS. Everything's working. And I'm like, ah, sweet. So I start doing what you do with a new PC. I'm putting like my graphics drivers on my, some of my favorite games, Chrome, all the logins and shit you know how that takes forever like getting discord on there your various websites

so i'm working on that i install tarkov i choose my character i'm a usec i pick my favorite voice and my favorite face i'm all about that i got the twitch streams going in the in the backgrounds and i'm working on the drops. They're coming to me. And then the computer broke. Oh, motherfucker. I was so deflated and it just, now it,

it doesn't even seem to turn on. I bet it boots off the recovery drive again. I'm not a bad CPU or something. You got something like, like a, like a pin fucking bent or something. Like this thing is just to get, what is it?

Ghost in the machine over there. i just bought a new 4080 which is making it hard for me to be like fuck this new computer because i basically just bought a new one maybe i buy a new cpu motherboard cpu ram i yeah just get a new cpu and throw it in that motherboard then it's like a 500 fix maybe last like i don't know how much i see maybe i could do it off the recovery drive and start testing shit maybe it's the hard drive maybe i don't know do a ram test or something but uh um it's it's really frustrating to work on because everything you try takes like 20 minutes like this computer takes 20 minutes to boot so it's like oh you want to tell it to like the windows does the thing where it's like oh should i self-diagnose i see your last boot didn't work and you're like yes to do that process is like 20 to 40 minutes so you can

worst case scenario like if you're not gonna like try to like replace it piece by piece i did see this guy on like youtube shorts who's also big on tiktok and he like diagnoses um he was working on phones but i bet he could do pcs like a lot easier but but um this the people that have phones that won't boot anymore he's looking at him through a thermal uh lens and finding the issues in their circuitry when he feeds voltage through various uh like points and he's like oh and i see that this little thing right here is getting a little too hot, so we just pop it off and replace it because I'm an

actual electrical... This is that shit you saw in the movies that you thought, this is what I always imagined science was. He's got a circuit board in a phone, popping shit out of it and replacing it using a thermal lens to find the issues. He's like, sure enough's like sure enough and his photos

are good and like yeah you need that kind of guy because you might have that kind of problem there might be a motherboard thingy broken somewhere i don't know anything about electronics plug and play lego style over here yeah maybe i'll just find a pc guy and stop torturing myself with it well um you you you know sell one of those motorcycles if you need to maybe but um i was like you know well i don't need to but but the the thing is like would i would i swap my least favorite motorcycle for a gaming pc yeah maybe maybe i do that you hear that guys anybody out there got a got a gaming pc 48 or better we're looking for a modern cpu and we're gonna ride a two-stroke home uh yeah but i was excited for tarkov the streets is dropped um yeah i haven't

played it but i've watched it it is um so yeah, anybody who's into streets or into Tarkov, by the way, just if you want to get the drops, I'm sure they're shitty drops, but make sure you use the Chrome extension or whatever browser extension to auto-collect them for you so you don't have to sit there and click that shit like a slave. Put that shit in 160p, minimize it, turn the volume off on that browser window and forget it, and it'll just collect them and put them on your account. I saw you last night in the Discord with the

group. Are you guys grinding non-stop? I'm grinding non-stop. Nobody has been able to... Void kept up for a while, but then he went to sleep. I played from... I got up at

5 a.m. because I fixed my sleep schedule about a week ago for the wipe. I sat there from 5 a.m. because I fixed my sleep schedule about a week ago for the wipe. I sat there from 5 a.m. waiting hour after hour until the wipe dropped. I was in before Landmark was. I got his stream over here, and I'm loading the game over here. You were temporarily ahead of him. Temporarily, I temporarily ahead of him temporarily i was very briefly and for a while like like it seemed like i was getting better servers than he was and like he couldn't play and i'm like you know that's part of the game kyle best player in the world yeah for a while i probably take that

screenshot yeah i sort of meticulously planned everything out mid-Max. I got Jaeger first. I haven't messed around the streets very much. I've played one game on the new map because I'm just doing my quests and just playing the game the standard way, trying to progress. I played one game.

It's huge. It's so huge. We made a right down a street and went around a corner, and we ran and ran and ran. Then we realized that two of our group wasn't with us because there's five of us. So the three of us that are together kind of find a little hidey hole behind some dumpsters, and I'm like,

alright, I'm going to shoot my pistol. Let me know if you hear this. Bang! He goes, yeah, I hear it. I'll head that way. Minutes go by of me giving him bangs. After a while I said, alright, well, here's what's happened. You got lost.

Let's go, boys. Shoot anything you see. We just had to abandon them. This is, I imagine, how Kyle's parenting at the mall style would be. Yeah, yeah. Listen, son, I shot in the air three times. You can't find me off that. Work your way home.

That was it. You can't follow the scent to Wetzel's pretzels? We walked for a long way, and you know sometimes when you're playing a map, you can kind of feel that this is the edge. Now I've got the edge on my right side. Now I know that I've just got to kind of look over here.

That's going to be all the enemies. The right side now is a wall or a cliff, a mountain, whatever, the ocean, whatever they do. I thought I'd done that. And then I looked to my right again, and there's just, it just keeps going. It just keeps on going.

And I was like, guys, this isn't the edge of the map. Look over that wall. And they were like, we can't go there, can we? And I'm like, yeah. And we just went. And it's an enormous... Is it way bigger than anyone they've done before? It's a couple blocks in a often plays in a group of five. No, not anymore.

You often play in a group of five, no? Not lately? I play solo. So Kyle used to play in a group of five. And that's an interesting dynamic. On Factory, it only holds five. So you're everybody. You can be assured that there will be no one on that map but ai if

you enter in a group of five in other maps like customs i think it maxes at 12 if it's not 12 it's 13 so when you roll in there with a group of five you probably outnumber every other group i mean conceivably there's one other group of five but but you probably are the biggest group out there in streets is the cap 40 people 17 oh because they advertise it like it was going to be 40 that's a big change they're russians you know um good people good people over there at battle state games i'm sure elon musk made this game he said there'd be a 40 person and now it's 17 no i uh i i'm loving it i i'm i'm loving the game right now i'm loving this passion and uh the changes they made they've um they've the maps that big 17's not enough

uh it's it's it's it's there's so many players what did it used to be like there's so many goddamn player scavs it's a new map they just they just introduced a new map it's also very poorly optimized i get 80 90 100 frames maybe but mostly like like i see landmark dipping how do you manage yeah anton dipped into the low 60s like 60 or 62 yeah but um i'm just not in a hurry to play it i just want to get my uh my quest done i'm level 12 now i think so i am um i'm i'm trying to get to the trying to stay ahead of the curve you know i'm way ahead of the curve if you're level 12 and everyone else is level 7 then you probably have better gear you probably have i i think um when i looked on twitch like like the the highest ranked person on twitch was 17

and i was 12 so i'm not like nearly as good as they are but i've been grinding so goddamn hard doing my task i don't know how many um raids i play that's what i should look at you play it again right after this hopping back on the grind um if i if i'm not tired um i've been making sure that i get like plenty of sleep for Tarkov. Do you know Smitty Stone on Tarkov? Do you know Smitty Stone, the Twitch streamer? No. He might be better than Landmark. I watch Deadly

Slob. I watch Landmark. I watch Basili. I watch Willers and Aqua FPS. We should get on the show. Tell Aqua FPS we want him to come on the show. Tell Aqua FPS we want him to come on the show.

Okay. Yeah, Smitty's just incredibly good at the game. It's like, not you, Woody. You don't have to do it. Somebody that knows him. Anyway. Yeah, he was level 22 when I stopped watching him.'s killing it yeah that's crazy

part ringar is definitely in the lead though uh ringar is absurd like like uh really he was he was first to the flea market in the world uh he always is he gets max traders in four days put that on his tombstone it's a big deal. It is a big deal. I know. I just said it was. No, this is a really good wipe. Anybody that wants to get in to Tarkov and you like that sort of extreme game, they've done some interesting stuff

with the weapons and ammo this time around. Previously, at level one traders you had access to the sks um with ps ammo and um and i think you could also get um 20 round mags and now like um they've they basically like made it so you start at level one traders with real shit ammo so for five five six five, six, you get like HP. You don't even get eight, five, five anymore. Like I always thought of eight,

five, five is dog shit. HP is the standard, uh, five, five, six round that you can buy. And for,

um, 7.62, it's also HP. HP doesn't pin Paka. No, no. So, so like,

uh, oh, let's talk about some hockey, eh? I mean, I agree. Hula Packard's not going to hook them up with that sort of thing. Nah. A printer's not going to penetrate a packer. No, not unless you throw it really hard.

Oh, and they put the new Light new lighthouse trader uh in like like somebody's already managed to get there and they they there's a whole like cut scene where you're like talking with this doesn't even look like dark off it doesn't it looks looks pretty nifty and they teased arena today on the live stream they showed like nick nikita was drunk like quite drunk but he was like who's Nikita? he's the guy who like he's the Dana White of Battlestate Games is he really like a drunk Russian or is he

playing up a he is a drunk Russian that's actually pretty endearing remind me to bring up drunk Russians after this because I watched the whole thing about drunk Russians recently it's interesting the background of their alcoholism um but but yeah he was like yes game will be for a list this year for a list no longer better for a list and it's like really what is that word for os full release thank you no longer better yeah this year that's bold there's like three more days this year well he also said that arena would

be like soon soon he said they almost dropped arena today but it wasn't ready like um so that's crazy um arena could be huge uh the twitch drops are going on last i looked there was about a quarter million three hundred thousand people um watching live uh tomorrow it's gonna be uh even bigger and saturday it'll it'll probably peak at some crazy crazy crazy number so uh and if you you know you want to see people doing wild stuff on their streams um head on over to twitch for that right because i'm sure somebody's gonna be trying to get some of that some of that money doing something going above and beyond. They'll have toasters on their heads and

be sticking their dicks in the fucking tarantula pits. Whatever they can do while they game to get more viewers. It's fun. Landmark has 75,000 concurrence and he's 16 hours into his stream. He's doing a 25 hour or 26

hour stream today, I okay yeah he went to bed early last night so he got plenty of sleep it's a it's not cool like tarkov but like i think gaming stories are sometimes neat like i we finished the patreon hangout and I mentioned I was going to play Age of Empires 2. And a few people were like, oh, I want to play. Invite me to your game. And only two were able to make it. One guy was like, oh, I got to play later. And so I got two of them in there with me.

And I had two of my buddies who I was planning to play with after the hangout. They joined as well. So we had a five person free-for-all and one of the guys in the patreon was like i am not very good i know what i'm doing but i'm just not very solid you know in this game the other guy was like yeah among my friend group i'm definitely the best uh i know what i'm doing i've played for many years and i was like oh fuck like don't in like the pre-game chat i'm like don't don't take it too hard on me man like like take it easy because this is one of those games like many things like like if i hopped in a game of civ with kyle he would molest me like he it would be i have zero chance and so if he was as good as i thought he

was i was like fuck this guy is just gonna like be toying with me the whole time. And you guys remember being the YouTubers in lobbies and Call of Duty. What happens is everyone tries to kill you. And so like I get in the game and I'm like, I internally, I'm like, I'm not going to rush and attack anyone because I don't want to like, I'm not, I don't want to accidentally, because you don't know where your opponent's maps are and where they are on the map. And so it's like, I don't want to show up at Red's base,

the guy who said he's not very good, and start raiding him instead of Green. I would want to hit Green because he's the guy who said he's good. So I'm just going to hold back. I'm not going to be aggressive. And before I know it, I'm getting rushed and attacked by Red and Green at the same time. Coordinated efforts.

Very obviously. If you've never played this game, you might go, wow, what bad luck? No, they were coordinating and they both sent in attacks at the same time. And I batter back their attacks. One of them was actually really fucking good. And then I'm like, I tell my two friends, I'm like, hey, don't fuck with me or my base for a bit. I'm going to roll these two at the same time. And it was because in this game, you're building your society.

You're building your economy. You're building your units. You scout out your opponent's base. Oh, I go to green. Oh, he's got three stables up. He's going to be building a lot of knights. I go to this guy's base. He's building archers.

All right, I'm getting skirmishers moving and so i build this the fucking giant army and i just fucking roll the guy who says that he's good roll them it felt so good i was this is one of those games where like you're satisfied because you're watching as your trebuchets tear down all the things they spent a lot of resources on and their villagers are panicking and you're killing their villagers and then they're, oh, I gotta pull everybody off the wood line. Now they don't have wood. I gotta pull everybody off gold. Now they don't have gold. And I just rolled him and his friend

and I'll say this about the red player. I'm not going to say his name because I don't want to call out his bad. He was bad. I rolled him and then he did the thing that I absolutely hate in this game, which is like when you're defeated, if you can sneak one villager away,

you can go to another corner of the map and build a town center. And so after I knocked... Reveal the new... Yeah, I destroyed green and he conceded like someone who was nice. And red was already wiped out and wouldn't concede. And so then I was like, I talked green and he conceded like someone with, you know, who was nice and red was already wiped out and wouldn't concede. And so then I was like, I talked to my two buddies and I'm like, all right, well, let's just battle now.

And so then I knocked out both of my friends with a with a different army. And then after you lose the game, you can leave and then you can see the whole map. And so the only reason I was able to actually win is like finally everybody resigned, but the red dude who just had a bunch of tiny bases all over. And I had to like ask my buddy cheating and be like, all right, tell me where red is on the map. And he's like, uh, just all the way to the right, all the way to the top. Cause it was one of those things where like, imagine,

I cheated for sure. Because like, imagine in Civ, Civ doesn't work this way. I think his opponent won here. No, no, no, no. Red is opponent won here. No, no, no. Red is the best player of all. No, no, no. To the last man. And only through cheating could his enemies defeat.

This sounds, if you told this story to someone from the other guy's point of view, it'd be a Greek tragedy. And only when the dirty Persians were led through the goat path was leonidas slain so this guy escaped escaped your attack you let one go he rebuilt another civilization that probably would have kicked your ass no no no no i'm gonna get mad you're not cheated basically like to put it in perspective so like i said the I set the game so you have a population limit of 500. So if you have 200 villagers by the end game, you'd have up to 300 army.

So at the end game, I was at pop limit because I was at 500. This guy was hanging out at a pop of around three. So it wasn't as though he could come back. He was hiding in the fog of war old over and over and i just had to have my buddy so far he would have hit pop limit no you wouldn't have no no no no no not not i was at 500 and he was at 300 yes three when i said three when i said three i meant three meaning that he was moving three tiny villagers around and building

town centers and I would destroy a town center and then I'd be like Brennan is there any is he have another town center and he'd be like uh actually yeah south part of the base this fucker built another one I was like god damn it so then I had to march my slow ass army down there

and try and find his other one it was it was that guy plays rust when I And so then I had to march my slow ass army down there and try and find his other one. It was fucking hilarious. It was, it was. I thought that guy plays rust. When I said that, if you had found him fast enough, he would have also hit pop limit.

Yeah. I thought I might've been right. Like I, I thought if he was at 300, you would be totally right. If he was still at 300 pop and I was at 500. Yeah. I'm probably going to win,

but he has a fighting chance. Cause he has an economy. No, this guy was like, you haven't found him yet. Right. You might've found him at 500 yeah i'm probably gonna win but he has a fighting chance because he has an economy no this guy was like not yet right you might have found him at 500 right it had you not had help yeah he was at three and like like and you need villagers to have an economy to make military so like by the time he's running away and building these things you can look at the top and see i had 80 people on wood 120 on food 40 on gold 20 on stone this guy had three people on wood, 120 on food, 40 on gold, 20 on stone. This guy had three people building a town center

over and over, and then he would go to wood just enough to get enough wood to run away and build another town center. That was pissing me off. There's so many mechanics in Rust that are just like that. Like, you can build little... So instead of a town center, you have the the tool

cupboard and rust it like putting one down on a foundation block basically like claims uh an invisible sphere of territory um yeah so they can just come in and build those all around your initial base so that now you can't expand at all you You might not even be able to build a wall inside your base now, because people can be real shitty like that. Speaking of, I saw that... Well, when you decide to jump over to it, Kyle, and play eventually, just a game or two,

you will so quickly become like... Immediately after your first game, you will look up a build order in a YouTube video and a video of the best sibs and you will be better than me and oh thanks for gifting me that game by the way i did i i noticed um a little while after um yeah yeah i'll get into it at some point i'm grinding the fuck out of tarkov right now i wanted to say i think we might have a rust dev in the listening audience because i saw that um one on the on their steam page you know they've got like the reviews that they put forward for their own game like like to describe themselves and uh there's like one from pc gamer um one from uh um something called rock rock paper shotgun i

don't know what that is and then one from uh one one from us it says um i've never had my feelings hurt in a video video game like they were hurt playing Rust. Does it credit you or the podcast? The podcast, which is better. That is absolutely. I remember exactly where I was. Mitty was like, he showed it to me. He's like, when was it?

I was like, you know when it was. It was when we were all on that duo server and we made a little village of duos so we could all be friends. And that child with a speech impediment came and he had that semi-automatic pistol and he called us every name in the book outside our base. And anytime we went out, he'd shoot us three times in the head.

And then he'd laugh at us, take our gear back to his base and come back and call us more names. And he would, he boiled it down pumpkins yeah he corn eating our he's like he's out there eating our food like like he's getting rocks in our pumpkin patch like eating eating our food he's like he's he's like what's up what's up cocksucker what's up cocksucker what you maggot you maggot ass ninja bitch you maggot ass ninja bitch you old ass man i can hear you're fucking old you bet your fucking knees pop you old ass ninja by the way he's 12 and

he's got a speech impediment so it's like it's easy to go back at him like you can't even fucking talk and he's like yeah i bet you pay fucking taxes though you fucking ninja what's that like you fucking old ass fucking fit and just like shitting on me he really and that didn't hurt my feelings hey what he said he finally was like he's like you're just gonna sit in there like a coward because you know if you come out i'll take anything you bring me bring me more stuff feed me feed me nom nom nom nom nom and i'm like 12 year old just bending you over a couch look i don't i don't know if he was cheating or not we suspected he was but he it can't it's possible that he was just so goddamn good that we couldn't even look at him without dying.

And it's possible he's just that fucking good. But he was right. We couldn't leave. We couldn't play the game. He was by himself? Yeah. You couldn't bomb rush two people out the door? That wouldn't work?

Two. First of all, it's a duo server. Yeah. But we've made a village. So all of my friends that you know, they paired up and they built a base right next to ours. He's shitting on the whole village, Woody. And we're all on the same Discord call.

So Scum's like, all right, I'm going to push out of my base. Imagine a neighborhood. We built a neighborhood with next-door neighbors and a street in the middle. So we know where everybody lives we built like like like townie houses and he's like all right i'm gonna push out of my front porch with the 12 gauge kyle you come out the roof of your place and like and like we'd all rush him and we might kill him but the thing is he's just got a semi-automatic pistol it's worthless none of us can even use the goddamn thing well enough to carry it so he comes back with another one and he goes

and i'm dead and and it grabs my gun and he's just like and two of them are dead and somebody else is like i'll help and they like run out of their base with no fucking pants on or something but he leaves the door open so now the guy he runs in now the guy's like looking through the crack in the door like shooting our beds like shooting our beds and like like just won't just make it a goddamn game and like you could make the argument we are playing the game this is that this is the game right you're right because it's rust and so yeah that's that he hurt my feelings like he was right i wasn't good enough to be in the game with

him to even be in the server with him i wasn't good enough i needed a i needed someone to protect me from him now you have them now yeah now you've got that guy oh yeah i can put together a fucking squad see back then i made the mistake of playing with like people i liked now i play with people who are good at games i play with friendship doesn't even oh my god you should try to have a conversation with these mongoloids if you think for one second that kyle would rather play a video game with me than with an absolute retard who's better than me. Kyle would sacrifice all the more fun conversation we'd have for a guy who's a little better at the game. Kyle would be like, oh, are you a Scandinavian savant? No problem.

My new gaming schedule is from 2 a.m. to 9 a.m. Let's roll. Yes, my name is Steven and I say the N word a lot. And it's like, alright Steven, you're in the mix. Can you click heads, motherfucker? He's like, as long as the black is, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yes, I can click heads as good as a... He's like, alright, alright. Jesus. Yeah, I... No, I... it's as good as a it's like all right all right jesus yeah i i um no i i i get when tarkov i haven't played i haven't played with large groups in a long time because it gets real frustrating i i play with mostly just duos um but i but almost i would say 80 of my raids are solo um it's just i like to walk everywhere and everybody else wants to run around.

And we're not all taking it as seriously, I suppose. Did y'all? Hey, anybody else got their energy drink stockpiled? Yeah, good, good, good. Hey, did you change your sleep schedule too? No, I just thought I'd play with you a little, Kyle. That's not going to work. I'm going to go ahead and need you.

The big teams won the turnaround. let's say it goes perfectly and all five of us survey survive the raid it still takes a while to put their kit together and you're only as quick as the slowest guy if it doesn't go perfectly and i say i die right now i'm not playing with these guys again until they finish their raid 30, 40 minutes from now. You got to get all synced up again somehow. Yeah. And that's also like maybe I want to do my task. Or, oh my gosh, people aggressively going for kills. When there's five of us and we run across a scav,

you have to either sprint in front of everybody to get to that scav first or just accept that you're not going to get any action when i play solo all the action's mine yeah that's duos is the best way to play um a game like this and and for me it's been the most fun way to play every game that i've enjoyed in a long time like rust when midi and i play rust duos, at the time he was on COVID unemployment, so he could fucking grind. Because it comes down to everybody's like, yeah, I'll play Rust with you. Yeah, I'll play Rust with you.

Will you, though? How much? How often? How many hours a day are you willing to put in? Oh, well, you know, I'll play four hours at a time. No problem. And then what? Like a little quick nap or like a shit.

Like, like, like what are you going to do for the rest? What do you have a job? And where are you going to be for the other 16 hours that we put in before our first nap? God damn it. We put in six hours on one wipe day.

We go a full day and then push it two more hours at least. God damn it. And MIDI will do that. We'll do a full 24 hour continuous like play session to get a half day ahead of everybody because it's not enough to outwork them a little bit and then like over sleep because you didn't really do extra work you just didn't work while you were sleepy like so you've got to like go super hard in the paint and we would do that we would outwork a whole server i would get so ahead in the tech tree that we just burn them all out of their houses. I played escape and escape from Tarkov.

Sound whoring is a really big deal, bigger than it ever has been in Call of Duty. It's super big. And I played with a guy who never stopped moving. Like, you know, we'd like whatever collect and plan in the bushes. And he just sit there and like smack every tree while we were sitting still. Like you were trying to get us killed. It's not. I like playing my buddy Void. He's very good. Larry,

of course, anytime he's on, I play with him. Except Larry keeps saying he dies. Does he still do that? No. I don't fall for it. You fall for it every time. I bet you're easy to scare.

I bet one of those people like Jackie could go, ah! Like around every corner every day. The thing is that I guess I do fall for it because he will say it the same way when it's true and it's not true. And I think sometimes he's predicting his death. Like, I'm dead. And sometimes that means he died.

Sometimes that means his best guess is he's about to die. But then he's not dead. And you see a guy. And in Tarkov, you look different every game. So you don't know if he's an enemy or not. It's bad comps. Maybe trying to preempt critiques from the audience. If that happened and I killed him, he'd go, that was me!

That's what he sounds like, by the way. I would go you fucked up bad call bad call you said you were dead so i shot the bad guy i saw running around i i was i'd be like i'll dump your gear i'm keeping your meds that's what you'd get out of me i'm not gonna feel bad if you if you said something stupid and got killed for it here's the thing i have killed larry on purpose repeatedly i've killed lar Larry on purpose repeatedly I've killed Larry on purpose repeatedly because he shot me as a joke

I don't like that joke I feel a little bullied you know like I'm the YouTuber or whatever so they're all like shooting me took your foot out gave you one to the arm oh now your armor's a little damaged isn't this funny it's not funny to me if I get shot I will either Gave you one to the arm. Oh, now your armor's a little damaged. Isn't this funny? It's not funny to me.

If I get shot, I will either in good faith kill you because I thought you were a bad guy or in bad faith kill you because I'm pretending I thought you were a bad guy. Yeah, I'm one of those two things too because I want to make sure. I don't want to like miss your head and you to go, were you shooting at me? And then I have to be like, nah. Don't throw it. Nah, just fire one across firing one across the bow i've done that before i i've been like betraying a scav in game and i'll try to like one click him and miss but then try to play it off like i was being silly and just shooting my gun there and he was like did you just try to kill me i'm like nah what do you think i missed you right right next to me i was trying to scare you a little i don't like getting shot in game it's not funny to me no i i look i i take the game about as serious as you can take the game

without i don't know i might take it too seriously seriously. I feel bullied. That's what it is for me. What I'm saying is whenever I have an issue with somebody in the game, I politely let them know, hey, this is one of those games where your mess ups mess up me and ours are at stake.

I think I'm going to run some with just me or just me and this guy or the other. Nobody feel bad. We can all stay on the call together. I don't play with people who aren't good at the fucking game if you're gonna team kill me we're never playing again we're never playing together again if you're like a habitual team killer like you don't get it like there's reasons to team there's situations when it can happen like if there's a big crazy gunfight everybody's running around room to room but if you're just like oh i saw i saw a guy, and I thought that was an enemy. It's like, dude, you thought you had snuck up on the most geared guy you've ever fucking seen?

And he just didn't hear you coming? No, you're wrong. I played a game with a friend. He was cosplaying as a scav. So he was pretending to be an AI. He dressed up as an AI. He had the pom-pom hat on he dressed scav the whole way he was a bear he was hitting these russian voice lines and uh and he shot in

my direction not at he didn't hit me but he shot in my direction he missed me much like a scav might and i quick turn on him and i killed him and he's like that was me okay you know what i'm not taking responsibility for that yeah you're gonna cosplay as the enemy yeah you get fucked no i've mostly been playing by myself this wipe um it's a lot easier getting through the tasks yeah most of them anyway certainly if you need to go in there and kill five things i'm not i'm always going solo for those if somebody's like they'll want to get in like a group of five, and I'm like, what are you going for? I need to kill scavs.

How about you? Me too. How about you? Me too. Oh, so get the fuck out of here. Go find your own goddamn raid. Your job is to kill scavs, and you're wanting to share them with four other fucking people?

What, are we going to be butt buddies and hold hands while you do it? Get the fuck out of my game. Get out of here. On the other hand, it could be kind of nice when it's like hey i have to place these markers oh me too oh cool now we'll go as a force of three five people i don't like that now now we're satellite dish this traipsing herd of like blue backpacks and fucking lasers aimed the wrong way and hitting bushes and shit no i'm a fucking ninja in the night an actual ninja not the funny kind and i'm fucking planting shit you turn off all your lights so no lasers i don't have

any lights no i'm fucking i'm fucking fucking blackface and everything yeah he's leaning me hey you can't get caught because you'll be killed or you'll be canceled for the black face i saw comedian the other day i can't remember who it was but he said like, yeah we've all decided blackface is wrong, right? We've all decided that except in Navy SEAL commercials, because those guys just they just don't care There's some tactical green in there

sometimes Just for plausible deniability And you know what, if the choice is successfully raid the Russian military base in blackface or refuse on grounds of racism and then die, I'm wearing blackface.

They could even put the fucking lips on me. If that's the difference between surviving and not, you know, I'm taking the survival. And ask me anything from the Patreon the patreon level what is it ten dollars ten bucks check it somebody asked me about my bpap bpap is like a cpap machine helps you sleep at night woody what was your ahi number hi is going to be nothing to most of you the apnea

hypopnea index but what they want to know is how many arousals per hour you had. That's what they call like waking up a little bit. And for reference, if it's less than five, then you sleep pretty well. If it's five to 15, you know, you may or may not treat it. 15 to 30 is a big deal. And more than 30 is severe sleep apnea. And my number was 70. So the sleep study dude was like, i've told you're a one percenter i was like how odd is that is that like like did i break the record at the sleep center and he's like no

no no we see like two of you a year so that that was my big thing and they wanted to know my after number it's between like one and three arouses an hour imagine if you were fat like you you could could have been one of those people who like dies of sleep apnea if you weren't in good shape i am pretty bad at sleeping yeah i'm terrible but you know like for it to be that bad for you like a guy who's in very good shape physically yeah it doesn't smoke or do anything bad for your breathing. Like if you were a big fatty. When I had the sleep apnea, though, like if you go back five years ago in my videos, I was fat, though.

Fatter anyway. Not like big fatty, but I'm thinner now. You were never fat. You were just a little thick. My fans will disagree with you. They were definitely mocking my double chin. Oh, I believe that. Yeah, I mean, I get mocked for being fat all the time. You were never actually fat.

And also, as an American, it's easy to rationalize not being fat. Because so many of the people you see are absolute planets. Have you seen, on Reddit the other other day they were showing pictures of like I don't know a diner from the 50s and it was like it said look how thin and healthy everyone looks and how small their plates are.

everybody looked like their ideal weight. Like everyone. Out of like 38 people maybe, 45 people like dozens of people. And then yeah, all their ideal weight like everyone like out of like 38 people maybe 45 people like you know dozens of people and then yeah all their plates were like saucers like

like what the fuck you gonna do with that put a teacup in it fries and a burger what are you there's like nothing on there and it's a little reasonably priced or reasonably sized burger rather just a little thing most people won't get this movie but the Goonies can you show this

Zach in 1980 I remember the Goonies you remember the Goonies Taylor oh I remember watching it I don't remember when it came out you were probably weren't born when it came out but there was a character called Chunk who was impossibly fat and they all

made fun of how his belly fat just wiggled back and forth disgustingly. This is the impossibly fat child from the 80s. Yeah. This is like the truffle shuffle meant to be embarrassing. Like, shake your belly around fatty. And, like, that kid would not turn heads today. Nope. At all. Not even close. they even like i'm not i'm just noticing this now they even put like a big fat person's style on him to like play up like wow

look at this kid with his big hawaiian shirt like a big fat fatty like they dressed him up with an elastic waistband right across the love handles to maximize what a fatty he was. And that's the best they could do. You go to a neighborhood swimming pool, you're seeing 10 kids fatter than this guy. Yeah, exactly. You're going to see a little Mexican kid, super, super fat. I remember that when I worked at Enterprise enterprise in boise there were so many because obviously like i don't know why obviously because it's so north but there's a huge hispanic

population there and i remember like noticing like there is an epidemic of really fat hispanic kids oh yeah they're the worst that oh the Mexicans are fatter than us. To the point that the level of fat that you feel like you would be justified telling the parents, like, what are you doing here? Whoa, what are you doing to him? You realize you're setting him up

for a life of problems and difficult health. Come on now, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, hopefully he's liking that. That awful dad is like, look at me you doing yeah but it's like that awful dad look at me yeah and it's like yeah look at you i'm not saying americans on fat because it's clearly a bunch of them but i wonder if it's overstated by our height like if you said americans were the heaviest people on the planet i'd say all right that kind of checks out but we're like in the top three in height so we're gonna be heavy um but like all the countries

that beat us in height like all those northern european countries like they're not they're sexy yeah they're not i'm not saying they're fatter i'm just saying that maybe for example fucking china's as fat as we are and they're not nearly as tall not them but yeah well uh mexico mexico is the fattest country as far as bmi goes and it's it's all because of that full sugar coke no we no no no mexico is not we lost we're winning again i thought mexico was number one for obesity rates and stuff because because they had that full sugar coke. Like, think about Mexican food. Most of its carbs. Mostly carbs, wrapping like a relatively small amount of meat.

The highest BMI is the Cook Islands, followed by Nauru, Samoa, and then Tonga. We're not even in the top five. Yeah, but like half of those things you just listed there's like 11 people that live there and they're all just of a big boned family but yes is tuvalu kerbatia saint lucia micronesia and egypt egypt's a real country so samoans so like what is it do they like like biologically or like diet wise or evolutionary however they would say why are why are samoans so fat is it like an introduction of a new diet something maybe they weren't used to while they were like living on islands for

10 000 years that's what we did the indians right we put them on those like government rations like i think that like a huge staple of staple of their diet now is fried bread. But I think that was because they were given those ingredients by the government when they were on the reservations. Traditionally, fried bread, I don't think, was what they ate as much as buffalo. But it was a ration, so it was basically like, okay, we're going for calories what's oh and they really suffer from alcoholism oh i wanted oh the russians with the alcoholism i

get apparently what's up apparently the control of vodka in russia going back to the czars and before has been like the way to control the people and a way to bestow power and money to to people um that that your your underlings like if you're the czar and you want to like give somebody a good job you're like you'll handle the vodka oh my god really because all of the vodka is made by the by the government like they wouldn't let the they stopped letting the peasants make their own at some point along the way and like took control of it And then they were able to tax it. And they make it extremely affordable. And one of the things they did, the vodka bottles didn't reseal because they imagined that an average Russian man would finish a bottle in a day or even in a sitting.

Yes. Are you making that up? No, I'm not making that up. The bottles wouldn't go back on wait you mean like a like a fifth bottle like a like the kind you buy it it looked like a liter to me not the handle the giant a liter like like a large vessel of vodka like a liter of huge amount of vodka but anyway like like over time like control of the vodka and where those taxes went have moved around all the way up until modern days.

And the alcoholism that it has, the systemic alcoholism, because generational alcoholism has been really interesting too. That's sad. There were these quotes about how a drunk Russian doesn't do this, a drunk Russian's wife doesn't do that, and the child of a drunk Russian doesn't do this a drunk russian's wife doesn't do that and a drunk russian child the child of a drunk russian doesn't question this there's like this great way to to sort of control the population by keeping them drunk and complacent well i mean that's just a different version of what you know governments have done forever the the whole i don't know

this is like government sponsored drugging of the whole society and they've gone along with it because like the drunk russian on vodka is a stereotype as much as black dudes with big dicks. Like, I mean, the Russians, like it's not just them, though. Like, isn't like all those like ex-Soviet bloc countries kind of deal with that. Right. Or no. Well, for the same reasons. Right. You know, because. Oh, maybe. Yeah, maybe, yeah. That's interesting. I didn't know any of that. Huh.

They're all Soviet bloc countries. The thing in Ukraine seems to be ongoing. I, uh... Who's winning now? Give me the fucking fill-in. Look, I only watch videos of Ukrainians winning, so... Well, then that's not helpful for me, man. I need... You know man i need you know i need you

to be a little more fox news every now and then balanced somebody was like oh did you see that video i sent you of the ukrainians getting machined gone and i'm like what the fuck is wrong with you can you not raid the room what was the name of that site woody the one that that shows the map oh i forget i need to look it up again but that map i i can tell you because i follow it like every day um the front lines have barely moved it's barely moved at all and i don't follow this one iota and this looks exactly the same as it did five weeks ago when we looked it up on the show literally in the last six weeks, it's moved two blocks. Here's what has changed.

Actually, it might be a little more Russia-y, unless they added pinkish to the already existing Russian. Going back about a month or maybe six weeks ago, the Ukrainians started using those Soviet-era, as in 1980s- era UAVs, those recon drones. And when I imagined a recon drone, I always picture the one from Call of Duty,

if I'm being honest. It just looks like a big plane that you threw with your arm and got up there. But this thing looks like a MiG with one engine and no pilot in it. It looks like it's a big jet craft aircraft and uh they loaded like a couple hundred pounds of explosives on those motherfuckers and sent them into russia and they got through all of the russian air defense and went as deep into russia as moscow is

and struck russian air bases damaging like their nuclear bombers they've done it twice now so not to be confused but like the first time they did two airports and then the next time they did a third airport so i'm calling look at that motherfucker it's like something at a fallout yeah the silver part on top is the craft by the way obviously like like it's on that it's on the green part so that's like an old soviet yeah yeah that's from like that's a 1980s era it would fly over and take photographs it would have film camera inside of it and and it would fly over and take recon it's like like a Slavic emblem on the back? That's Ukraine. So the Russians were launching these bomb runs, I don't know what to call it,

from Russia. They'd fly over Ukraine, they'd drop their bombs, they'd come back. And Ukraine decided, well, heck, if you're going to launch your attack from Russia, then Russia's fair game. So they've started blowing up the bombers in Russia. In Russia. And of course, Putin and the russians are like what is

this nonsense you're you're crossing our border and it's like dude how dare you invade our country with your aircraft and explosives right monsters well yeah there's a lot of hypocrisy going on there's a part of me that wonders like hey ukraine don't poke the bear don't poke the bear you know like if you attack in russia like if you would attack moscow for example you'll really piss them off you don't want that and then the other part of me is like what then russia invade you then we're gonna invade you even harder right are you telling me they're not trying now that they've been not just like doing poorly for a year sending a hundred thousand or more russians to the meat they could be doing that anime thing we're like they're just intentionally

not using their power that's the grain waiting to use their full power well i mean like obviously like they could use more power in the attack if they want if putin wanted to be king of the ashes like most countries could do that shit like but you don't want to lay waste to a country and then be like yay i'm the lord of nothing he's doing everything he feels like they are like like they're attacking the power infrastructure in particular and trying to freeze people out and break their will and it's like man like 90 of the city is of power. You are reducing this thing to rubble. From Putin's perspective, that makes sense. I don't think they're holding anything back other than nuclear weapons.

It's not like they're not using their good tanks or their good missiles. If you look at the number of good tanks, I mean, they've got their version of good tanks, right? What I mean is they've got what they have. They're holding their best tanks. Yeah, right? What I mean is like they've got like what they have. They're one of their best tanks. Yeah, it's not like there's another class of missile or another class of rocket or some other helicopters that are fancy that they're just leaving back home

and they're using their like secondhand stuff. No, they're running low on their stuff now. Their ammo is running low. They're running out of those cruise missiles. They've shot like 12 or 15. I don't know what the count is. They keep count of how many cruise missiles they've shot. But they've shot over 1,000.

They're running out of them. Are they mostly still shooting the unguided stuff? Yeah, lots of like grad rockets and like the rocket trucks that just go pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Lots of that stuff. Those are so cool. Did you guys? I know, right? right yeah did you see all's quiet on the western front did you guys watch that movie yeah that movie was awesome i thought it was so

cool i don't know if i thought it was awesome it really well all right as a movie critic i felt like it lacked a little plot you just watched a guy suffer for two hours um i thought it was really good but the point of it either okay true so the point is uh watching this guy suffer for two hours i'm like where's the plot and why do i care about these people and stuff but in terms of capturing the suffering of world war one home run my goodness just the the wet mud alone looked like such a horrible existence yeah and as i'm watching this world war one footage of these guys suffering in the european winter these guys just suffering in the wet and the cold and their clothes are dirty and there are no clean clothes to change into. This is your clothing.

Boom. And I'm like, this is Ukraine right now. Right now. I bet they go get a shower if they want. Yeah, it's definitely not as bad as World War I. I'm looking at these Russians freezing in foxholes thinking they don't have a much better environment.

Oh, the Russians are fucked. Yeah, that's fair. But I think the Ukrainians, on the other hand, I think if you're on the front lines as a Ukrainian, like you're literally on the front lines, if you want to, you can get a shower tonight. If you're like, hey, man, I'm cold. I'm going to head on back to, was that a Subway I saw back there, a Subway restaurant?

Oh, that Jared guy. I'm going to head back over there, get some white macadamia cookies, warm up a little bit. I might head back to the hotel, warm up, take a shower. You know what I mean? Maybe get some rest. I bet you could do that if you want. There's no way they're letting you go to fucking Subway.

I need some Pepto. I'm going to be honest. There's no way you can just peace out for white chocolate macadamia nut cookies as much as that would bring morale to the whole group tuna salad for some reason and I always get the meatball but I got the tuna and I feel a little rumble I'm a little pep toast I'm gonna head on back

wherever they have electricity and pep though I don't know I hope I have it in my head that the Ukraine is doing a little better that they're supplied by NATO and therefore they have wool socks they got better shit clothes and shit like that and also the ukraine is doing a little better that they're supplied by nato and therefore they have wool socks they got better shit clean clothes and shit like that and also the commit the supply chain is just easier when you're fighting in your own country yeah russia has to get all that shit past enemy lines very true it's a problem yeah still i don't think it's any fun on the ukraine

side and well i mean no i mean i bet it's some fun no no i saw it's a brutal conflict go to the tons of people subreddit and and check out that uh that thermal sniping footage that guy's having a blast all right that that guy's got a thermal scope and the guy building his ptsd yeah i think about come on i've clicked he's just clicking white dots over there and they're falling over it's probably not people that's white dots they're they're people i can't argue with that i wouldn't be able to do that very well like i don't think i would be able to kill someone keyboard skills and granted if they were invading my homeland very very different and so i think that would probably get the fuck out of saint louis oh hell you might do some good come on come on behind me honestly if if russia unironically invaded saint louis i think a lot of people here would be like let's let's wait let's see let's see

what let's see what ideas they have and it's like oh something to stop crime oh public executions well okay we'll we'll we'll try it we'll see if that was uh i think it was in 30 rock um they were they mentioned saint louis or something i think the characters the joke was something like this it was like um have you been to saint louis and seen the art uh i flew every once and thought i did but it turned out to be a half burned down mcdonald's yeah i mean there's there's the when you fly from the east over st louis if you can unfortunately see any of the like east st louis city leading up to the city it just is such a bad reflection on us like every no one who lives in St. Louis, we do not take ownership of East St. Louis. That's fucking Illinois.

That's Illinois. East St. Louis, Illinois. St. Louis, Missouri, very nice. That's the nice side of St. Louis. East St. Louis, Illinois, dog shit, the worst. Same way, Kansas City, the Missouri side of Kansasansas city nice as shit awesome the kansas side of kansas city leaves something to be desired other than overland

park which is full of like really i'm sure i've asked before but have you been up in the arch yeah yeah i went when i was a kid up to the arch yeah i guess they have those every missouri man has to is a every everyone who goes to school in the saint louis area has to go up in the arch eventually and yeah it's like i don't think they've redone the the elevators i think i told you this before the elevators aren't boxes they're white ovals that like sit in the bottom of those legs or whatever and part of it and so you sit in these little chairs in a circle with people and then that takes you to the top of the arch and then you get out and the lady's like watch your step it's curved and it's like yeah i know and then you step out and you're like oh fuck oh my god yeah it's really

it really is fucking curved up here uh oh it's neat like it's a good um you've been to the top of the willis building too right or the sears i used to bears Tower. The Willis and then maybe it's something else now. Woody and Joe went up there one time. No, I didn't go to the... I've been to Chicago many times and never went to the top of the... Or no, when I was a kid when it was still the Sears Tower, we did that. You stand out on the little glass protrusion that you can look down

to the street below. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, that was pretty neat. That was a good day. Yeah, it was a good day. It's real tall. I was sitting on the couch the other day, and Toby, my wonderful, wonderful dog, I walked up to him, and I could see he had something in his mouth.

He hopped up on my lap on the couch, and he's chewing on something. I'm like, what you got, buddy? And he spits it out of my lap, and it's a lens that says Ray-Ban on it. Oh, he took the good one. He took the um um so so now it's time for some new ones um these were justin's put them on maybe they're still okay now it looked like um i was blinded in the war. Or maybe like a sniper.

Someone who has to keep one eye ready for the dark. That's a positive twist on this. I'm trying to be charitable. Let's keep this up. It's not a bad look if I'm being honest. It is. Take them off. Okay, sorry. So yeah, I don't know if I want to get another pair identical.

Because I do like these. They're like, I don't know. I like to get another pair identical because I do like these I don't know I like them they're exactly what I like but there's some new ones that have a camera in them that are pretty cool they're Ray-Ban maybe Journeys or something they're like twice the price yeah they're Ray-Ban

Predators but no they shoot like they shoot video and take pictures and they have two cameras like one in each I don't know what this part of the glass is called but like look at the footage first because I've seen a number of either built into glasses

or built into helmet cameras if they don't have good image stability you might be surprised at how often you turn your head and how rough it is to look at the footage yeah those are probably some some bootleg ones i wouldn't buy anything off amazon that's like name brand or designer that's what i've learned too there's like i saw i'm into knives and a handful of people are like oh i bought this bench made knife from here i bought this or that like premium brand knife from amazon

and when you send it in to get fixed to the knife companies just keep them they're like that that's a counterfeit now it's gone yeah yeah yeah don't buy anything like designer name brand that you know something like this like a 300 fucking dollar pair of sunglasses don't trust amazon not to send you a 12 chinese knockoff go like straight to the retailer's store often straight to the retailer's store is it like is it slower shipping cheaper price usually some basically amazon takes like 40 so either you're supporting this company you like more than you would be otherwise or you're getting it cheaper one of those two things is going to happen and like you said sometimes the shipping is not as good.

But buying direct, I've started, I used to be total Amazon. If someone would give me a link and I'd be like, oh, I wonder if Amazon sells the same thing because their customer service is good and their shipping is good. One, their shipping is not what it used to be. It used to be you could set your calendar by that. Like, you know, two days meant two days. Now it doesn't mean shit. And they'll lie to you up until the checkout. Be like, know the two days meant two days now it doesn't mean

shit and they'll lie to you up until the checkout be like oh yeah i'll be there tomorrow it'll be late oh it's been delayed it's been delayed or like it'll say while you're buying it that it's coming in a day or two and then as you're at checkout it'll say seven days unless you're on your game oh my god yeah i've got a hat coming next month i can't wait i'll have a haircut by then i won't need the hat anymore amazon's not what it used to be and there's too much counterfeit on it and their shipping is unreliable and prime is better than it used to be the tv series yeah there's always been a a counterfeit problem on it i'm so psyched for that henry cavill 40k thing um i saw yeah i hope he actually gets that project moving that'd be sick um that

little statement that uh that he put out was uh was really endearing and uh i don't know you got to believe that like if he's got he's got if he's the executive producer and the star um you would imagine that he's got quite a bit of say so i executive producer and the star um you would imagine that he's got quite a bit of say so i don't care what the budget is the budget doesn't matter like i don't the budget doesn't even matter but it is amazon so they can do whatever they want i don't know they're taking a bath on lord of the rings the lord of the rings budget is exactly what i was calling out when i said it was misleading it's like oh this is a half billion dollar show i'm like fuck i'd like to see that i don't know many half billion dollar shows 499 million into licensing rights i made that up but it's something stupid like that

and you're like oh fuck that's not a lot of production value meanwhile that 1923 show is half a billion dollars for real and they spent it on like moving like thousands of herds of animal instead of using CGI and like flying all over the planet. And Harrison Ford and Helen Mirren. It's dubbed and stuff like it. Is it good? No, no, no, no. That's the Netflix thing.

That's that's like what I'm thinking of. I'm talking about the Yellowstone prequel. Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. Now I know what you're talking about. Yellowstone's like the biggest show on TV. I wonder how it stacks up against Wednesday. It's smaller.

I was actually just looking at that recently. I was trying to pick a new show. Yeah. I think it's totally smaller because it's not on Netflix. Like if it was on Netflix, it'd probably be the biggest thing going. I have a really good clip from that show I want to show you, but it's like it's like 45 seconds long i wish we could watch clips on here yeah it's it's it's uh it's a good fucking show

i i actually uh i think i'm a season and a half or maybe even yeah something like that behind i'm just gonna let it accrue uh so i can watch it all at once but uh it's a really good show kevin costner's obviously obviously... You either like him or you don't, I guess. I've always liked Kevin Costner. He's a little boring. He sucks. I hate him. Does anyone dislike Kevin Costner? I hate him. You're joking. Wait, hold on.

Is he the guy from Feel the Dreams? Yes. Every single... dances with wolves. The Postman, Waterworld. Waterworld is underrated. Waterworld is... Oh, my God.

Waterworld sucks. I love that movie. Waterworld is awful. He's a bad actor. Every time I see him on screen, he takes me out of it. I don't know what it is about Kevin Costner. I don't like him. He's not a good actor.

He's just not. I think he's just too authentic for you he plays strong but silent he's too much of a real American I'm too much of a secret communist yeah no I don't like Kevin Costner not one bit and I've never seen Dances with Wolves and I never will

then you've got to that's the Oscar winner also the bodyguard with the Whitney Houston movie that's a good movie he shows off his comedy chops That's the Oscar winner. I don't care. Also, The Bodyguard with the Whitney Houston movie. That's a good movie. He shows off his comedy chops in that one. I'm not watching it. That dry motherfucker.

I'm not watching anything with this fucking content. Dude, I cry. I've only seen Dancing with Wolves twice in my life. Twice in my life I've seen Dancing with Wolves. Cried so hard the last time I watched it. Are you really not going to watch it? Oh, yeah. That part, I'm not joking i'm not gonna end up watching okay there's if you want me to i'll i'll lie and read the synopsis there's a couple of there's a couple of really sad parts there's this um there's this one guy who like rides a wagon and he's got a mule that pulls the wagon and they have like a relationship

together where he's like joking about the mule a mule kind of like he's talking back and then the indians come and they're like murdering this man and he's like crawling away like please please don't hurt my mule and it's like oh they're gonna kill your mule dude like for sure they're killing the mule um and then um then there's another there's a there's a dog that dies and it's real sad i mean i don't like seeing dogs die that's oh it's so sad dude it dies in a rough way it's they're so sweet and so nice and dogs are just loving beautiful animals that's a good movie when i was high school, my friend's mom, we always went to his house. His house was the hangout spot. Every time we got together, we often started at his house.

And his mom was an elementary school teacher. And something about that just took over her entire personality. She always fed us, treated us like we were six years old, maybe four. She called us her sweet dumplings. She pinched our cheeks. I'm like 18 at this point. And, you know, but to her, I'm not even eight. And we all kind of liked it.

We all did. She's just really sweet and really nice, etc. Dances with Wolves is a big movie at the time, and it just made it to like HBO or whatever. So we decide to sit down and watch Dancing with Wolves. It's me me my boys and his mom yeah and i watch dances with wolves alone and i was like this is a great movie you're gonna love it i show it to her and she is horrified horrified by the death there are sex scenes involved there are animals getting murdered there. There's all this destruction.

It is about cowboys and idiots. The beginning. Dude, the beginning. You know how to dance. All right. I'm going to make Taylor watch. Here's how Dances with Wolves begins. There's a Civil War battlefield full of smoke and carnage.

It's the aftermath, Or seemingly it is. And you're at a Civil War tent hospital. And you're panning shot over the carnage. All these limbs in a pile. All these people screaming. They're getting sawn off with no anesthetic.

And then it goes to the point of view of Kevin Costner. He sits up and he looks at his leg and it doesn't look good. And the doctor is like, I was hoping you'd be still asleep when I got back. Yeah, we're going to have to take it right off. And he's like, don't you take my leg? We're going to have to take it off. And he like forces his boot back on this leg incredibly painfully.

And what's happening is the battles at a stalemate. And he like forces his boot back on this leg incredibly painfully. And, uh, that what's happening is the, the battles at a stalemate, both sides are like looking at each other. They've got like a pickety ish fence in front of them as a, as a frontline kind of in a bit of a palisade situation. Yeah. And Kevin Costner wants to die.

He won't, he won't let them take his leg. So he goes and gets on his horse, and he starts riding as fast as he can across the front of the battle line. Like, not toward the enemy, between the two enemies. And he's like, arms back,

leaning back, eyes closed, just riding like this. And the other side won't shoot at him. Some of them shoot at him and then after a while they start feeling sorry for him or they don't understand because he's not riding at them he's just wanting to die and they get so confused by it and and kevin costner's men get rallied so they all charge and the enemy has all emptied their guns trying to hit kevin costner and they forgot to reload so now the the good old boys are coming and nobody's got their guns loaded and they win the

battle they they break the stalemate and the general comes over he's like send that man my doctor and of course like his doctor knows how to fix fucked up legs and they're like and he's like where would you like to be sent he's like anywhere away from this car and send me out west you got it so he sends him to a frontier outpost away from the war out west amongst the indians on the prairies where and and he's like all alone there with the semi-hostile indians all right you you're fucking selling me on he does that does it sounds pretty good the first thing he does when he gets there this outpost has been abandoned and um the indians or somebody has poisoned the the pond by dumping dead animals into it it's full of dead deer and rams and sheep and horses and he has to wade into there vomiting the whole time dragging the rotten corpses out of his water supply

so that it can like a... Like there's plenty of scenes like that where he's just really suffering and having a hard time. And of course, you know, he makes friends with the Indians. Like they had this standoffish thing with the local tribe.

Of course. But then they realized that he's got a heart of gold. And he knows one word, Tatanka. I think that's buffalo. And there's and and uh he knows one word tatanka i think that's buffalo they do and there's a scene where he sees the buffalo and he knows you know that is our word the indians are having a hard time finding buffalo yeah the indians can't find any buffalo they're struggling kevin costner sees buffalo and he's like i'm gonna tell my friends the indians and he rides up and runs up to him and they beat the shit out of him because he's like invaded

their camp and he's like no no no no and they're like yeah yeah all right everybody come on get together this white man's got to tonka and they all like ride together and they kill the shit out of the buffalo it's it's it's like a three hours like like epic it's it goes on and on but i won't i'll never watch it again i don't like seeing animals die it makes it part i am of two minds listening to this part of me is like man i wish i had kyle's memory right because he's doing these i had forgotten all about the poison pond i had forgotten about half the shit that he just told on the other hand with my memory i get to watch it again for the first time yeah you're like one of those alzheimer's patients that gets to fall in love with their wife every day it's a blessing

oh speaking of i don't even know who sauron is zach has these things can i i've been looking at this yeah yeah go ahead patreon pop quiz questions woody who was the guy who made really good call of duty weapon guides videos hint he played xbox that was what got it i messed up his name all the time i think it was xbox ahoy if not it was like ahoy yeah he was the one who made the super specific gun videos yeah kyle who was the guest that same episode now that to me is an incomplete question do you get it oh the same episode as xbox ahoy we had dual guests that night i guess oh um i dude i don't remember who the guest was two shows ago i remember finster yeah yeah yeah and i have no like two i'm i do this but i don't like the part of my brain that like prints memories it

doesn't operate while we do this yeah this will be embarrassing let's see who was our guest two weeks ago i i we had it was finster last week we had filthy recently filthy robot who was between filthy robot slush puppy ah that's right that's right slush puppy yeah yeah yeah we're on the ball and so who was before filthy can you can you remember back that Yeah, that's so fucking far ago. There's no way. I don't know. That's four weeks ago. Yeah, yeah.

I have no idea. No, I don't. People will be like, hey, that was so funny when you said this. I'm like, I have no memory of that. Taylor, what does recursion mean in the context of card games? Now, that baffles me. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, recursion is not a

keyword in magic the gathering but a car recurring keyword would mean something like uh i guess delve isn't a good one it's where you can go into your graveyard your discard pile and pull something back into your hand to play it again or pull something back directly to the battlefield so you're recurring a card that's already been played either into your hand or onto the field easy peasy that's an easy ass answer what what a great question yeah what a great question people are gonna love it people are gonna be like well did you hear that part about taylor talking about you know when you go back and watch a video you can see the the parts that are rewatched over and over? No one's watching that one.

There's going to be just a big hole right there to recursion. Because people in the future went back in the comments and was like, hey, skip that part at 3 hours 53 minutes. Or now, by you doing this, you're helping boost my recursion area. Here's what I want you'all to do no kidding let's see if this works for the for all eight of you who are here now still listening like like go back to exactly um when taylor begins the first ad like like two hours 14 minutes or whatever and like refresh press f5 on that spot like like 15 times or something like that just knock that out like like if like 8 000 of you do that, I want to see what happens to the algorithm. You think they can actually make it so the most watched period is the ad?

I don't know. If enough people reloaded it and then watched it again, it probably would say the ad was the most popular thing. Let's see. But it would take a lot of people. Well, hey, it is the last show of the year. ad was the most popular thing. Let's see. But it would take a lot of people. Well, hey, it is the last show of the year. It is the end of 2022. I just want to say I love you guys both very much.

I hope that you continue to prosper and be happy into 2023. I'm just using it for his body. And, of course, of course, I'm used to it. I like it that way. And to all you out there listening, love you guys very much, too. I was thinking recently how like um i missed the days when it felt like um i don't know we were more connected with the community and it felt like you could you could talk to each other like like uh like like friends

because i i always looked at like i mean i've made friends with so many viewers that i'm i'm always open-minded about that i don't know I don't know if that always goes both ways, but appreciate all you guys very much out there that listen. We should do a live show. We could do that. I'll do it. For money. For NFTs.

Ah, for NFTs. I don't even know how we do it like if i i could taylor and i could both do it on twitch but we might one of one of us like captures the thing and then simulcast oh live show i thought you meant live like we all go and oh we could yeah the trio can go live and you can do that thing where you um like co-stream together and like everybody goes to the thing oh yeah yeah and it kind do that thing where you um like co-stream together and like everybody goes to the thing oh yeah yeah and it kind of does it for you we could do that sometimes doing it not live is good for when we go for when we step way the fuck over well well you know we get like

we could be on our best behavior that that that you know right yeah but i don't want to be on twitch i can't like half the fucking bits we did tonight we can't do on Twitch. Oh, yeah, that's right. Twitch is real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't drop any maggots at all. No. And I think that Twitch would go so far as that they would be like, oh, that's your code word? Then that's no good either.

Yeah, they would. We know what you meant. They'd be real petards about it. Yeah. We'll have to think it through if going live is a good idea. But I do feel like that connected us a little bit. You can watch the stream, Zoom, as you show.

Oh, yeah. I think it would be fun to be able to physically look over at the people that I'm talking to when riffing and stuff. You know what I mean? Because this is fine, but imagine that. Sitting in the same room, tell a joke i look over at kyle i look over at woody like that i do appreciate that you're bringing in your thing you're like i look at kyle i look

at woody and i'm like aha he's bringing his mic with him because i absolutely detest it i watch podcasts where the people start talking to each other and they're obviously not professionals used to talking into a mic and their audio just drops down by half and i'm i hate it how do we bring in my mic with me i'm i feel i feel you um yeah that that could be fun as well i i the problem is you underperform you know if you're like oh i yeah i saw the live episode and i hated it because i wanted clowns to be there you wouldn't like plural like how many would have done the trick like i don't know i don't i don't want anybody i think i think people would like it and and so like if we do do something like that then we'll just do

it and like have it done and then it's here because what what's what sucks is when we do a a survival trip build up for like three months and then wings is like yeah you know uh i'm not going and it's like sorry guys i know that we built this thing up for three months but like wings chickened out and then kyle swallows some fucking river water i was thinking about this the other day why didn't you aquaman so it looked it was like this two members of the fucking um avengers were in the woods okay we had hawkeye and we had aquaman i know they're not you give yourself someone i shoots the fucking turtle right for dinner aquaman's like nice shot hawkeye now swim on out there and get it i didn't think it was a possible

task like you let me undertake it you chose to undertake no so people have to understand this is a turtle that may or may not have been shot right so it may or may not it's true because it the turtle was in the river with like its head sticking up kyle shot in its direction or maybe even hit it and then the head wasn't sticking up anymore and now we need to catch a sinking turtle that's going down river that's like 100 yards away by the time i get get there, I'll be like 500 yards down. It was not a viable thing to me. You need someone playing defense lower in the stream. Dead turtles float.

It's a very slow moving river. This is the same river I could barely walk across. I almost made it. Yeah, if I would have been there, I wouldn't have gone down this way. I mean, look, I'm down with shooting turtles for fun, but to try to chase them in the river

is not the move. In fact, you were like, turtle soup, like chasing after it slowly in the river. The two times we've attempted to do this shit, like going in the woods and surviving, it's like the animals are viewers. If that episode got 120,000 views, 100,000 were birds,

and 20,000 were fucking people, because they hid. I remember I was like, a bird, and this bird was this big. It was the size of a golf ball, and I aimed at it and i went and then i thought if i hit it it'll just go poof yeah it'll just disappear yeah it's just it's vaporized

there's nothing to fight he's right i think i remember the bird it was like a parakeet or something it was it was fucking tiny swallow eat out there it's always so goddamn sad you know like we're not that when we were out there's a way to make a good reality show is by faking it because that's what every reality show that you like to watch does clearly because i watch naked and afraid do you watch that show no they literally they really dead fish like that the the pulling the fish the fish it's not flopping it's clearly dead like i like they just caught they just threw some yeah that's no good they're well known for people like so what happens they stay out there for like whatever 25 days 19 days into it they're starving

they're suffering and that's when they catch their first fish. And the fish comes in on land dead. It seems fake. Yeah. There's a lot of scripting in that reality television. Yeah. Well. Want to call the show? Yeah.

I'm hungry. Very hungry. Same. Very hungry. Me too. PKA 628.