Painkiller Already - PKA 630 w/ Sam Hyde: Investing w/ Sam, Rick & Morty Creator Arrested, Jeff Bezos Creepy Texts

Episode Date: January 14, 2023

pka 6 30 is sam hyde coming later is that what's up yeah an hour in yeah believe on his way this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew and lock and load a couple of wonderful g-rated sponsors that fun for the whole family 20 seconds now okay they're they're come pills guys they help you they help you bust more i didn't know there was a rule that we're not supposed to say bad words in the first 20 seconds yes yeah it's a new thing and people are making fun of youtube for such an easily circumventable rule but that's where we are well i mean you just wait for our show we're not circumventing it we're following it to the t no not at all irrational rules taylor was telling us right before the show we were going to talk

about something else i'm sure but but but um rick and morty uh uh creator justin roiland right like the main guy um just arrested or uh for circum for circumcising it i don't know what you're talking about. Just arrested on domestic... Was it domestic battery? I thought it was like Me Too at first. That's what I thought. Literally, as I was telling you that pre-show, I was like, Justin Roiland's getting Me Too'd right just now. I meant I had just seen

it right just now on Twitter. And then I was like, oh, I guess someone said he did something improper. But no, it says, frombc news the star and co-creator of animated comedy series rick and morty justin roiland has been charged with felony domestic violence in orange county california in connection with the 2020 incident according to a criminal complaint filed in may 2020 by blah blah blah so yeah the actual charges it looks like are domestic battery and false imprisonment and the false imprisonment's the fun one right yeah that's like uh kidnapping but it's not like

no it's more like less intense than kidnapping right i don't know it's it's like uh it's like saying you're not going anywhere that's my i'm getting out of here and you're like you're not fucking going anywhere and you like shove her against the wall. That's what he did. You're not going anywhere, lady. You got no chance. I'm too big and strong. We're going to get in trouble eventually. I made Rick and Morty.

I write myself into the show. I'm a huge guy. I can't believe our podcast. That was funny. It's these charges. we don't know. Alleged charges. These are alleged. No, they're not alleged charges.

Because we are journalists, which means we have a responsibility to go to tent our hands and go, hmm, at these things. First of all, we are journalists. Like those old journalists that you would think of that were like real journalists from 50 years ago we're way bigger than them even us here we are brian gumbel like brian gumbel rather like like how many views would he get on an average day is he a fucking loser no i don't hear it i don't even know who that is yeah he's that black guy who tells you the news like i wonder so nowadays they graduated from journalism school they have college degrees i don't know if there's some sort of license or ethics thing they follow but if you go back far enough like the 1950s i bet they were just high school graduates talking about news of course they

all were go back to like the fucking homer like like like i mean how much accreditation did he have the guy from the simpsons yes the guy from The Simpsons? Yes, the guy from The Simpsons. I wrote that poem. He was an anacronaut, Kyle. Don't besmirch his name. I mean, he's a nuclear scientist. I don't know why anyone would besmirch the man's name. I can't say the word. I might have ruined it for you. No, it's okay.

Yeah, that kind of sucks about the Rick and Morty thing. I know you didn't watch, I don't know, the last two or three seasons or something, but I still love the show. And this current season is very good. Yeah, that kind of sucks about the Rick and Morty thing. I know you didn't watch, I don't know, the last two or three seasons or something, but I still love the show. And this current season is very good. It's good, good. It's a top three season.

They've got, what, like six or seven now? This was a great season, I thought. I liked the show a lot. I liked several of the episodes. We're like, I don't know, top episodes of all time. I wonder what he did. I hate to hear charges because I've been the victim of charges. I've had charges pressed against me before. Because you don't know top episodes of all time i wonder what he did you know i hate to hear charges because i've been the victim of charge i've had charges pressed against you don't know and it's like and when you read them on a piece of paper it's like oh well don't call it that

don't fucking call it that man like like explain what i did if you explain it it's kind of cool buy drugs run a gun channel like explain from my point of view let me write it as an op-ed like charge me with being rad charge me two counts of being badass being a tubular dude you know sentence you to rocking on. I scanned this article looking for this because I have the same desire Kyle did to know what he like a verbal description. It's not in here. It just

tells you that you're in here. I mean, if he just got arrested, the wheels are fucking moving, right? This is brand new shit. There is a plea available, but they didn't detail what the plea is and i guess he hasn't taken it because he pled not guilty oh i see these this has been long in the works it's surprised i bet that he just showed up in like a lot well since it's 2020 i doubt that they were like like surprised this on him i'm sure his legal team has been talking to theirs for a

while and i doubt they showed up to his studio and like slapped handcuffs on him. They did that white people arresting thing, like from the Chabelle show where he like had an appointment to be arrested. That's what I did. I had an appointment. I had an appointment to be arrested. I showed up punctually. You were on time for your arrest? Yeah. They don't even put handcuffs on you. Can you tell me more about your appointment? I thought they surprised you in the... Well, that's the first arrest. I'm talking about the U.S. Marshals. The U.S. Marshals are like,

all right, show up at 10 next month, and we'll arrest you. Where did you show up? And then we'll release you at some federal building in Atlanta. And that's when they DNA'd me, took a cheek swab, and took my passport away.

I turned it over to them. And I think that's about it. That's when they DNA'd me, took a cheek swab, and took my passport away. I turned it over to them. I think that's about it as far as fingerprints. Of course I was on time. You were late for a court date. That wasn't my fault. Everyone explained that. The prosecutor told the judge, he's like, just so we're all clear,

this isn't Mr. Myers' fault. He wasn't fucking informed. I was not late to shit woody okay all right i'm fully confident kyle would have been on fucking time with his his sunday best on for every one of these things it's funnier to say well i was high i'm a drug addict no what what you're referring... I hit someone on the way and they cut. What you're referring to in a normal person's life would have been the scariest thing that ever happened to them. But in mine, it was a Saturday that was rough. It wasn't a Tuesday or whatever. I wake up at like, I don't know, 9 a.m. in bed with my girlfriend.

And I'm like, ah, nice little lazy Tuesday. I get a call from the fucking courthouse in athens because that's where like i think there's a federal thing there that's initially where like the stuff was happening and then they moved to atlanta anyway um they're like supposed to be in courtroom d where are you and i'm like in my fucking bed an hour and a half away, yo. But I didn't say it quite like that. And so I'm like calling my lawyer and his people and like everyone in my legal little sphere and everything. And what it turned out was I hadn't been informed.

My lawyer hadn't been informed. And the prosecutor hadn't even been. Nobody knew that we all needed to be there that day so it just so happens that they work in the legal field so they're there but so everyone is very understanding when I show up an hour late to this thing and even the

prosecutor told the judge just so we're all clear like this man didn't show up late okay like I wasn't informed his defense attorney wasn't informed and of course he wasn't so the only it was explained by the rules of georgia you are free to go i wish but that's how it works in college like if the professor's 15 minutes late we could go but there was jeopardy we can't get appointments wrong twice but the whole process of me getting ready that morning and then driving there was pure terror i'm sure because because

like you know i've been trying to like mind my p's and q's this whole time and now i'm an hour and a half late to like sentencing or something like a major fucking thing and uh and so i'm just fucking get it no shower i'm getting dressed as fast as I can, like brushing my hair and fucking, where's my belt? My good belt. No, it's not that one. That one doesn't fit anymore. I need a sturdy belt in case this goes poorly.

You got my rhinestone belt that says girl toy. I think I, I think I ended up going with no belt and I hit it with my hands in front of me like this. I literally like, like couldn't find a belt. Like, like awful postured man. I think my suit and pants were slightly mismatched. Like it was a dark Navy and a black or something like that,

which is fine. But, but like I was driving as fast as you would think you wouldn't get pulled over the whole way. Aggressively terrified, driving as fast as you would think you wouldn't get pulled over the whole way aggressively terrified leaned forward on the wheel with her next to me going it's gonna be all right it's gonna be all right and just me constantly calling people constantly so scared that part at like 130 bpm sitting down you're saying that sounds like a nightmare man it's like this isn't

my fault nobody's how kyle did so well in the fucking fitness competition it's 130 bpm resting poles for some reason did they not like explain did they not explain the extent to which you weren't in trouble up front like your attorney wasn't like hey huge mess up in the scheduling office it's okay like you just get down i don't think i knew for sure that i was good because i couldn't get in touch with him either. He didn't know. He's in court with somebody else. Or he's driving and he won't... He can't answer the phone when he drives.

It's a crime in Georgia. Your lawyer gets a fucking thing on. It's a problem, right? You can't have your criminal lawyer. So he won't answer his phone when he's in the fucking car. So I think some of that was part of the deal in any case yeah in that fancy car i bought him but uh but yeah i wasn't late for anything i promise you was there any legal thing like when they told you show up at 10 for sentencing or for to be arrested oh yeah like if you or your lawyer

had said like we are gonna be, can we do 1130? Mr. Myers has a dentist appointment. Oh, totally. Totally. Really? You can, like, kind of, like, stop, get a meal, like, go to the arcade. Well, see, like, this, what I'm describing as arresting is, like, me turning myself over to the U.S. Marshals, and they, like, they take me into their custody, but, and they

technically process me a little bit, but then they just turn around and release me. You know what would have been fucking sick? If you turned yourself in wearing spurs. Oh. Spurs and a vest. They have to take them away and put them in the box. That would have been when I went to prison. When I checked in,

I should have had lots of accessories. A bandolier of weapons. So that when I'm released they're like rhinestone belt buckle two water pistols filled with spaghettios those dried up sir like just going through my random shit

and I'm like I'm nodding intently and taking each thing and putting it on yeah I I was never late for anything, I don't think. Now that I can remember. I think there was a couple times when they fucked up their information and I didn't show up for a thing.

But I never messed up. But yeah, the U.S. Marshals still have my passport, I guess. I guess it's expired, so no need to get it back. I kind of want it back, but I don't want to talk to them. It makes it easier to get another passport if you just have your old one. Yeah, well I know it does, right? I think that's true but I'm not sure why.

It is. Because it's on the list of like, because I had to get a passport like a couple years ago and the list is like, you can bring this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, or your license and old passport and it's like, damn. If you don't have your passport, it's going to be a pain in the butt

do you have everything else like birth certificate like all that shit every time i need that shit i have to find it and then i got my birth i have my original birth certificate i'm looking at it and uh it got sent to me i had it sent to me the other day and when i went to tear up in the envelope i that sucks i can see that you guys mistake what you do is straight through the middle i'm not paying this bill from the public records department fuck you mom yeah that's what i pictured yeah no it's and it had like i tore it right at the top like forgetting what might be in that envelope. I thought it was an Amazon.

It was a Mandela thing. Anyway, I tore the edge completely off my birth certificate, and I'm not sure if it's even technically valid anymore. As long as it's got all the good stuff on there. It's got all the good stuff, but it's a tear right through. One of the edges for an inch and a half is torn off all the way down, but it doesn't matter.

Yeah, I'd like to get my passport back from those marshals, but give them a call. Yeah. Hey, you remember me? No, we didn't. I'm that cool guy.

Remember the rad guy in Georgia? Like, it's me. I need my, my fellow. You were about to drop a tubular. We were racing. Yeah.

I love that. 90s Bart Simpson. Yeah. That 90s simpson yeah that 90s bart simpson talk i didn't know it but bart simpson t-shirts were banned in schools apparently in the 90s i read that the other day really what a what a bad boy the the bartster was i guess yeah back in the day like because the the simpsons like seasons, like would almost make fun of itself. Like, isn't it crazy how terrible of a child Bart is? Like, look at him disrespecting his teachers and making sex puns at adults. And then like eight years later, South Park hits the scene. And they're like, all right, I got it.

It's kind of like he's kind of like Bart, but they're like murderers. He's a little late,. They sometimes kill people. He's a little like, but we sometimes kill people, kill parents, put them in the chili, and then what the fuck is the fat one's name? Don't bomb him. Cartman. Cartman feeds it to his friends. Well, they have that episode, right?

I guess that's what you're describing. Yeah, the crossover, where Bart's like, I'm a pretty bad kid, too. Yeah, what's the worst thing you ever did? I cut the head off a statue once and stole it what about you i killed this kid's parents and fed him to him in the chili oh shit oh shit i'm getting out of this the bart character just leaves oh man that's pretty cool this one time this kid pissed me off like real big and so i killed his parents and i fed him to him in chili that's my favorite, by the way. Scott Teneman Must Die is my number one favorite episode.

When I show people South Park for the first time, I show them that one, because it's just such... It's so awful, and it kind of gets you set up for that Cartman wins 95% of the time because he's just an evil... Because he's evil, and evil does win

95% of the time. So's just an evil because he's evil and evil does win like 95 percent of the time and so so get set up for that i know it's great show i south park is still good to me too i i like that they've got and dude they're making so much money now that those two guys those guys are going to be billionaires if they're not already um i'm talking about good shows i'm struggling to to like yellowstone i'm trying i'm into it i'm watching it i'm somehow invested enough that i really want to know what happens next yet every five minutes i'm like this is so unrealistic really like cowboys are solving problems in this regard all these cowboys are like navy seal operators that's what one is one is which in itself is a little bit sketch. Like, why this guy is a Navy SEAL operator cowboy.

Like, this guy's children. You have Bethany, who's a total badass. You have Lee, who's dead, but who was a perfect cowboy. You have the Navy SEAL, and you have the Harvard graduate. And these are just, like, his round of children. And he doesn't love any of them, it seems. Successful people have successful. I mean, to be fair

i bet if you i what are kevin costner's real children do i bet they all do cool shit right i bet if you looked at somebody who is like a billionaire guy who owns a quarter of a large state i bet their kids all did some cool shit too and like the opening episode how many people did casey kill by the end of season one all those motherfuckers happened upon a fucking rape van of some sort and killed two guys there he mercy killed the meth guy who's as he was driving by a meth lab blew up so he mercy killed that guy had to he killed the guy who killed his brother we're up to four now fuck that guy yeah i'm not saying they're bad shootings just that this guy sure does stumble across a lot of people that need killing.

I'm so with you on that point. I tell that to everybody. When I was watching it for the first time, I was like, I'm really enjoying Kevin Costner, but Casey needs to sit down and find a good TV show to watch at home. Every time he goes for a fucking drive, he murders a motherfucker. Maybe he needs to put some weaker ammo in his gun or aim a little lower or something. Because he's just headshot after headshot.

They're all bad people, but take a few in. I feel like I'm missing a few murders. You are. He kills at least eight. There's one part where they have a big shootout and he's just wiping people out. It's the end of season two. I just saw it last night. And you're right. I don't know how many murders he gets that night, but call it

between the two raids, maybe six. Casey alone. Casey's a real fucking stone cold killer. And Casey's wife. They all are. Rip's my favorite character. I love Rip. Rip's why I watch the show. I don't doubt it yeah it's great and and aside from that every once in a while i sit back and notice the actor that plays rip does a great job rip is sometimes a tough as i'm sorry his eyes

oh sometimes he's a tough as nails cowboy and he plays that perfectly sometimes he's sort of sensitive and like when um a little bit of a spoiler he kevin costner does something kind in his direction and it really touched his heart um other times he's you know a bit of a love story going on with rip and every time i feel like he plays that chord perfectly he's one of the best aspects of the show he's a good man of the heart i i saw so i'm not current he's a little murdery he takes people to the train station fair enough those people need to go to the train station enjoy your ride he uh i saw a clip from like some current uh yellowstone i'm not current i'm a season behind and um and uh it was rip is

at a bar and uh a hot slutty lady kind of sits down next to him and starts hitting on him. He's like, he's like, I'm married, honey. And he points his ring and she's like, I am, too. He goes, where's your husband that she goes, San Antonio for the weekend. Where's your wife? Right over there staring daggers at you. They look up and there she is. Sure enough, she's staring right at him.

And she goes, I'll handle this. And she walks up to his wife and goes, I'm taking your husband home for the night. And she smashes her in the head with a beer bottle and starts beating the shit out of her in a very violent, criminal kind of way. And Rick's just like, aw, shucks. Dude, there's a scene. a scene she's my favorite the red headed she sounds cool plays kevin costner's daughter first of all i love redheads but she is

exceptional that is a beautiful woman she plays in this other show britannia she britannia she's on the like cover art with like some celtic face paint and shit because she looks very celtic she looks like she's some fucking northern ireland fucking war priestess i just i just want to worship her just lick those freckles sexy lady she gets hot she gets naked and see we're talking about bethany right so fucking hot yeah so pale below average attractive to me how can you say that she's like ginger princess she's all right i'll admit that from the neck down she's flawless although that i suspect i suspect there's a lot of body double action going on but i can't prove it you say maybe no no i don't know i just i'm just like

man every time this girl is smoking hot and naked from the back they're showing her from the neck down and i'm like this feels body doubly to me but i could be wrong perhaps perhaps but uh she has this it's worse than resting bitch face and and her lips are like oddly shaped and weird they're super thin lips and but not it's like her lips only exist in the middle like some sort of 1920s cartoon oh did you get out to the sides they're like a mustache and i can we get a picture of bethany from yellowstone i try to show her face like something that's not too zoomed out because her face to me is like she's three she's a three whose neck is head is on top of a 10. How old is she?

Were you telling him not to do it? Don't fuck this up. That's a that's a better picture of her than I expected to see. It shows that I'm talking about a little bit, but mostly I find her lips to be a little sucked in, so they only exist in the center by

that. Is this called a philtrum? Maybe Taylor always knows. What is the lump under your nose called? The little U-shaped channel? That's a frenulum. It's a frenulum. A philtrum. A frenulum's on your cock. Damn. Yeah, usually she only has lips

right next to her philtrum, and then it's like nothing on the sides but this is a decent picture she looks pretty yeah yeah she's got green eyes too super hot lady uh she's the main guy's wife she's that she's kevin costner's daughter she looks better in this yeah so kevin costner's kids is just imagine it in a different setting and kevin costner would be the king and his kids are you know like they fill the roles of the of princes and princesses in their own right because of their wealth power influence i mean his early on kevin costa's like main squeeze is the governor his girlfriend is the governor and she's hot she's great yeah yeah that's how does that red-headed warrior though? Oh, the Bethany, the girl we just looked at.

There's a scene where Casey's wife, who is the actual hottie on the show, according to me, gets mistreated in a retail situation. So she calls Bethany and she's like, I need help. Bethany comes down there, starts smashing every fucking counter and mirror in the store. She makes the sales lady strip down insults her she's like i knew you back when you were given hand jobs for milkshakes in high school and uh and in the end the the sales lady has a tear running down her eyes she's exposed for wearing spanks which i guess make girls hotter and And I don't know. Bethany's badass. It's a good show, but it's not realistic. No, it's a very good show.

I wouldn't say it's realistic at all. But Kevin Costner's a great lead, and they're making an empire out of that show. You've got to keep in mind, Yellowstone is the flagship show, but they made that prequel, and that prequel was so good with that little

slutty girl who dies from the doo-doo arrow spoiler um man there are two prequels so what they're doing is they're showing this generational thing where how it began with the dutton family and and like like like they want at least three storylines going if they can if they can so they've got the og storyline that I think is like fucking early 18. I can't remember the names of the shows. The names of the shows are years, so it's difficult. The new one with Harrison

Ford and Helen Mirren, like I said, is a half billion dollar production that they've put on. It's the second or third most expensive TV show ever made. Helen Mirren? She's alive? Maybe not Helen Mirren. I could alive? Maybe not Helen Mirren. I could be wrong about that. But definitely.

I used to like her. Good for her. She was in that Tornado movie. Might have been called Tornado. I don't know. You mean Twister? I think I do mean Twister, yeah. Yeah, you're thinking of Helen Hunt.

Yeah, I like Helen Hunt. Who's the other one? I like Helen. Who's the other one? She's she dead she's alive also yeah helen hunt is was an attractive woman at one time she got she got topless in a few movies well she was married to hank azaria for a year that's the guy who does mo on the simpsons she does more than mo oh way more than mo it's just hey he's my favorite character favorite character that he does. But look at that. Helen Hunt was star adjacent for a year.

Good for her. With Hank Azaria. Wow. I've never heard of Hank Azaria. I bet he had to meet such cool people. Hank Azaria could buy and sell Helen Hunt without noticing. Funny enough, because he's a voice actor on The Simpsons. Super successful show.

I don't doubt that you're right. Well, he does so many people and they need him. This rings as like, dude, Helen Hunt, who is a former A-list movie star, she knows the guy that does the voice acting for Kenny. Huge. He did Apu. That's huge.

To be fair, the guy who does the voice of Kenny is kind of like a billionaire now. So he's kind of a big... I love that they're buying real estate and other properties and expanding their whole thing. Those HBO specials they're doing, I'm talking about Trey Stone and Matt Parker

with South Park now, the voice of Kenny. Those specials that they did for HBO, I don't know what they were getting paid, but it was tens of millions of dollars each. And they just keep cranking them the fuck out. They're like, oh, wait, wait, we can make an hour-long episode and you'll pay us $25 million

instead of a season of South Park. I don't know what they normally got paid for that. So I don't even know what their schedule is like now. I don't know if there are seasons of South Park's gonna be a nine hour special well no there's the show like this i haven't thought and i haven't watched all the specials i've only watched whatever their first one hour special was watched them all i didn't think that was very funny it's really the big shift in the times was tegrity Farms. When they decided we're doing Tegrity Farms instead of South Park, I

gave it a shot and within like three episodes I lost interest. It was like, you know, I get it. You guys are bored. You've been doing the same show for 20 plus years. It must be weird to just do the same thing. I've never heard of Tegrity Farms, so maybe listeners... No, they know.

Yeah, they know. It's Randy's Weed Farm. All of them. So basically they took know yeah they know it's randy's weed farm they probably do so basically they took it and they made it so that it was no longer a show about south park and randy the geologist and the traditional characters and whatnot it was extended outward and made about randy's weed farm tegrity farms like your tegrity farms we got integrity like like that kind of thing and once they did that they deleted all track of that like one-off goofy episode format which had kept me hooked for so long and so not that it's like bad now it's just different and it's not the kind of different i want yeah yeah that's that's essentially what happened i suppose because randy does go off and and go to integrity farms which is it's what he calls his weed farm.

Then every episode, there's that whole thing where, oh yeah, you live out on a farm outside the city like 25 miles. It's weird that you even still go to school with us. It's like a whole weird thing. They've ended that. If I remember correctly in the last special that Randy's like, they always sort of apologize through the characters. They're like,

you know, I just thought it was a good idea. You know, the first special and the, you know, I thought this could be better than the first one, you know? And I thought everyone would love integrity farms. It would bring us together.

And it'd be, they're like apologizing. Like this shit sucked. And it wasn't funny. I think they're done with that. The last special was something about streaming wars, but they, you know,

of course they made it literal. There was a stream of water and it was a whole thing. A little, a little, I got a topic. Zach, can you zoom in on me? Put me on camera.

So I don't know how well you can see it right here. That like lump thing. Kind of, I can kind of see it. lighting sucks i'm sorry anyway so that's enough too much me i went to the dermatologist today and what i was expecting was they look at that people probably remember like what six months ago or something i had that cancer and uh they took it off my nose and i'm cool. Well, I had my follow up today and I expected them to just sort of look at me for three and a half seconds, say, yep,

that's a nose and send me on my way. That is not how it went. Instead, she's like, oh, look at this. You got some more pre-cancer on your forehead. Let's fucking buzz that off. And she has this like, I don't know. Deli slicer. No, it was more like a pesticide can.

Kramer! That shoots what I assume is Freon under your forehead, and she's freezing the cancer off my fucking face the day of the show. And I'm like, oh, this is wonderful. And I'm like, so what is this like? And she's like, oh, you know, have you ever had to remove a wart? And I have, but they use, they use a really cold soldering iron, and it wasn't a freeze can like this.

And she sprays it, and it was like... It was like 30 seconds of this, just burning my fucking face. And I'm like, oh, this is not what i wanted so then she goes to my back she takes two moles off two samples of whatever and she's like look at this one this is four different colors they're all eat up she seems like she has a good attitude she's pretty cool but uh and then like this one is like it's black. You make the blackest moles. I was like, yeah, I don't mean to brag, which is slayed. Isn't that great when you just throw out just a little joke at the dentist or something,

and you just get a belly laugh, and it's like, damn, I'm the funniest guy to come to the eye store today. Watch out, everyone. i'm picking out frames but she took two biopsies and found a pre-cancer and i'm like well i like i'm starting to wonder not that i'm worried about mortality or anything but i was like i always thought i'd die from bad decision making not cancer i mean you did decide to be in the sun for all those years yeah when you look at it through that lens maybe it's still bad decision making but you don't know yeah why your son's kids these are all just like little checkup things right

she's like oh that's questionable let's test that let's test that the moles were questionable the forehead was pre-cancer and the nose was actual cancer how How did they know? Just through looking? Yeah, she's like, look at this forehead. Do you see how it's like scaly and rough? And she's having me feel it. And I was like, well, maybe if you're picky. Would it bleed again? Like, was it something you could like scratch off

and like bleed? I didn't really notice it until she made me look at it. This is scaring me. Oh, wait a minute. Are you sure there was some... Are you sure she wasn't just bilking the insurance company? Right? I bet she just blew cold air on Woody's head.

Now it says computer duster, but trust me. She tells me to close my eyes, and then I open up, and it's just her blowing. It's just her blowing honestly if there was your eyes again and i'll cut you in for half if there was a if there was a profession of medicine to get into where i feel like you could pull that shit aside from dentistry because i feel like they can do whatever and no one can push back because you don't know but dermatologistsologists, because if they tell me, hey, it's a couple hundred bucks to get this mole removed right now and it's looking iffy.

I am 100 percent doing that. Like 100 percent. What did she bill you for that for the mole removals? Like, I know you have insurance, but like what did it like come come to per mole? Did you notice? No, I literally wasn't even exposed to the bill yet. They're going to go through insurance, and I'll see what's left. I think they were hitting me for maybe almost $200 a mole last time.

I wasn't eating up with moles. I think I got two removed. Yeah, me too. Like on my upper back and my shoulders. And I had another one removed when I was a kid. And there's still a scar there. There's like a little like... A little indent? Crater like a the wrong word but like and there's a it's like oh what the fuck this is never gonna fill back in jesus christ that was 14 year old chubby me on a on a fucking

cold bench getting sawed on by that nurse who did not know what she was doing i've had the same thing in my 20s today was a biopsy so just a tiny scrape I'm not going to have a dent Can they just The pre-cancerous thing was a biopsy Not the moles they just knocked out Right The moles were the biopsies that they're sending off The pre-cancer thing

She's convinced that the spray cured it I don't know I feel like that She's got that magic spray. It's 1800 per minute. Mr. Thirsty's coming in for the cancer.

He makes airplane sounds. He's coming in for a strafing run. All that cancer is getting looked at. Them sending your mole stuff off to get looked at now that seems ridiculous it's like just chop them off right oh i disagree you gotta go back for more no we gotta go back can't they just remove the whole thing and then test it like you don't you're not holding on that doesn't look as good that doesn't look as good yeah on the vanity side yeah i have two

small like indents on my back from when i had moles removed and uh she told me to come back and get two more removed this is what i gave my 20s and i was like just so you know i'm not doing that and she's like no no no we can't take them all today but you know we're going to take two more on another visit i was like you better take your favorite two right now. This is your chance. That's how we handled it for 20 years. For 20 years. Thank God she chose right.

Yeah, because if they take it off and make it cosmetically look good, but if it's cancer, they've got to go back and get clean margins. Okay, that makes sense then so it's a you know it's it's a more and it's not just about vanity it's about how big of a hole do you want your back today sir how many stitches would you like it to be one or four you know that's what it's going to come down to so if you want you want

the flashes for a mole removal i didn't even know that was a thing yeah my last one they yeah yeah four is what she said for mine but i got zero this time and if they're not candrous then we're done i need to go to a dermatologist i probably need moles removed or something yeah just i never checked that i had one removed when i was a kid like like probably like seven years old and i don't even think i needed to i was like there with like my brother who had to get one and my mom was like yeah take that one too and I remember like my brother was like I was probably six so he was like four and like the little knife came out and like the freezy implements and everything and I remember being like it's like you're the big kid time to be brave and I remember like I went first I just like looked away while I like it was like on the back

of my armpit area not like in my was like on the back of my armpit area not like in my armpit on the back kind of shoulder and she did that and i remember just feeling like a little like nick and being blown away at how not painful it was and like then i watched like my younger brother just like hyperventilating that kind of crying where like it's silence from the child because it's so intense and i remember like smugly at six looking at him freaking out and being like pussy like you act like that or i was so scared and i went from like terrified kid to like i'm a big boy and like in like two seconds got my got my sucker i had a similar fear but i was worried my dick would get hard she checked every inch of me like it like i

said i started thinking she was just gonna look at my nose for three seconds and be like why'd you even come here that's what i expected in today's appointment when they had me get down into just this fucking gown that's open in the back and she's inspecting in between my toes for trouble i'm like this is a level of inspection that i'm gonna end poorly check your asshole no no not my asshole she did lift my like underwear and look at my butt cheeks yeah that's what i meant i didn't mean like some guy who's like all right let's knock this out too brother no but she looked she didn't remove my underwear but she pulled the waistband up and looked under my underwear like that's how she did it so that

was the part she i guess she was less there kyle you are muted uh that was a fear of mine when i was like you remember i used to like get yearly checkups when you were like you know 11 12 13 or whatever and i remember like being nervous going when I was like 12 to get like checkups because I'm like, God, the female doctor is going to touch my dick. And I'm just going to have to focus. I'm just going to have to focus on not getting hard because like in my head, I was like, like someone doesn't get his health insurance work. I'm showing up hard.

I was 12 and in my head 12 year old Woody's off blue shoes on his way to the doctor's office she's like checking my balls and I'm like spit on it whore 12 years old she's like your son's fine but he's very rude i'm glad you don't ignore the get in there doc

what are you scared just pulling in the doctor uh you're my favorite the dentist and the priest don't pay attention to my pulse at all in In my head, the thought of being a 12-year-old, because you have no control over your erections whatsoever. I remember it was horrible in seventh and eighth grade, because you'd sit down, and then it'd be towards the end of class, and you'd just get a hard-on that's the kind that is mad, like an angry erection that's like, oh, fuck, this isn't hideable and like like panicking at

the end of class i remember like being afraid going into like my 12 year old physical because in my head i'm like this is a place of science like people don't get hard at the doctor's office like come on like be a grown-up that's for the masseuse yeah and she was quick, and I did start to get hard, but it finished before that because at that point, it's like, whoa, a 61-year-old woman touching my dick? This is, you know, the tally's going from zero to one. This is great. Do you guys remember that? You guys just went into your checkups like, yeah, if I get hard from from the or did you guys have male doctors i never go ahead kyle i i don't remember

showing my dick or balls to anybody like growing up at all at the doctor i don't remember any dick or ball examinations if i'm being honest i don't it was like a pedo cream i can remember in like seventh grade just dr phillips like they would have every boy in the locker room line up and we all wore tidy white he's like it was some sort of mandated uniform and we would all pull him down he'd cup our balls we'd turn our head and cough and he'd check every fucking one of us for, like, hernias, I guess? That's what that test is? All lined up side by side. In a single file line. And what age is this? How old is this man?

This would be, like, a gym teacher, and I'm in seventh grade, so what is that, 12 years old? How old is this particular gym teacher? I don't know. He seemed ancient to me, but maybe he's 38, 35? Holy shit, this is awful. This is awful. We may particular gym teacher call i don't know he's seen ancient to me but maybe he's 38 35 holy shit this is awful this is awful we may have just put our finger on something taylor

and sometimes you'd get called back alone like so you do the fucking hernia one where they cup your balls and then i didn't like it anymore when we had to line up and um bend over like tighty whitey's on but you're bending over and he's checking you for scoliosis like apparently he's looking at your spine to see how straight it is but you're just like okay doc and then you bend over wearing nothing but tighty whiteys when you said bend over like that did end better than i thought it would like but uh just checking your o-rings but like that that is i don't think they do that anymore i don't i don't think they do i don't does a gym teacher have any idea what he's doing

like feeling just and do you you want to be at the front of that line my god you don't want to be the guy who just your nutsack touched after 30 oh my god i just realized that what if he's gross fungus from did he wear gloves, he's a gym teacher. I think he did wear gloves, but I don't remember him changing them. So I don't think, first of all, the idea of a gym teacher being the one who inspects us is absurd.

He's not a medical... What do they know? He doesn't know any... I mean, sure he knows, but it'd be great if he could diagnose my hernia. He's more of a hobbyist. Yeah, he's more of a hobbyist. I'm an enthusiast. Me? Oh, I hate testicular cancer.

I hate it. With a passion. And I love my job. Holy fucking shit. But the idea, what if one of you had had something on your dick or balls, and he just spreads it from one to the other by grabbing everybody's junk you know yeah sounds unsanitary i've told the story of my testocular testicular torsion too many times but what happened was i was in dreadful pain in biology class they sent me to the nurse and even the nurse was like i don't

know like he seems like he's in a lot of pain, but what's up? So they called the gym teacher over to cut my balls at like 10th grade. And he was like, I don't know what's going on here, but I can tell you that testicle is way too rock hard. We should get him to the hospital. And, you know, make fun of him all you want, but he made the right call and helped me out. Well, goddamn damn i forgot that pedophile saves your ball it's a different pedophile oh well well that guy was just a

good samaritan he was like god i make a gym teacher salary and i'm just trying to walk to get coffee in the teacher's lounge and i get pulled aside can you hold this 17 year old's testicles god i should have you know become an engineer or something. That's probably what that guy was thinking. Again? Yeah, again. No, this is. Yeah, he loves it.

He won't leave the nurse's office until you do it. You know, he wants to. Honestly, that guy could have responded. He's like, the fact you're conscripting me right now means you need to go to the doctor. Like the fact that I am needed in this capacity means a doctor is well past due yeah i've over told this story but i this teacher was a bitch she was mean to people and she just ran a really tight classroom someone asked to go to the bathroom and she said no someone else asked to go to the nurse and she said no i asked to go to the nurse with

this testicular portion and she turns me around in front of the class there's beads of sweat dripping down off my temples and she's like you see class this is someone who actually needs to go to the nurse and she wrote me my note and let me go but it was like you don't have to make a show out of this yeah private no i i wish that what teachers are bad was like, you don't have to make a show out of this. What a bitch. No, I wish that... Teachers are bad at their jobs. I don't think I ever had a teacher that I thought was a great teacher. Because here's something that every teacher should say in front of the class. Hey, listen.

Sometimes we need to go to the bathroom and it's a real emergency. When that ever happens, get up and walk out. You get up and walk out. Run if you walk out you don't have run if you need to i'll figure it out later why did they never stop and say that like like because you policy would have been abused no you know why it wouldn't children these kids because kids are so insecure they don't want people to know they got a poop. They don't want they don't they wouldn't they would rather stay in the class than think that than have some girl think that they have diarrhea. You know, what's funny is there were kids like in my grade who like thought it was funny

to raise their hand and be like, teacher, I have to poop and like say it in that way. Never seen that as a laugh. Yeah, I thought it was funny. I never did that. I wasn't ballsy enough. I was a pussy. I was afraid the girls would know I pooped, too. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to know. Didn thought it was funny. I never did that. I wasn't ballsy enough. I was a pussy. I was afraid the girls would know I pooped too. Yeah, you don't want them to know.

I didn't want to know. We're doing math in there. We're doing math in there. We're jacking off, doing guy stuff. I don't want to know I pooped. I was going to make her think I went in there to jerk off. No, I wasn't beating off.

I was hanging out with guys in the bathroom. I don't know enough about darts to even know how the game is scored and everything. I always thought you just aim for that bullseye, but clearly you're supposed to. It hits some weird color combination of those tiny thin strips. I saw what I guess is the world championships of darts the other day, I saw what I guess is like the world championships of darts the other day, and it came down to like two perfect performances going back and forth, back and forth, and the guy had a perfect game, I suppose.

And I was just imagining like when they're perfect, every single throw, he's putting it in that tiny little like green strip at the top or the bottom again i have no idea how no there's a you're right there's a green strip that's 20 points and so that's why you always see them hitting that green one that's unreal just he's not by the way he doesn't i thought it'd be like dart all right he's lining up his second talk now big gustaf sin from sweden long-armed champion from the east dot two no he goes dart dart dart and they're going perfect perfect perfect and he steps aside the crowd goes wild the other guy comes up perfect perfect perfect and they just repeat like three or four times until the one guy misses and the champ the the other guy comes back.

Perfect, perfect, perfect. The crowd loses their shit. And the announcer, the announcer goes, this is the greatest game of Darts ever played, ever, ever, ever. And I think it may be because they went back with perfect games like that, that are supposed to be so rare. Um, yeah,

it was fun to watch and I don't know shit about darts. Have you seen, I'd like, I don't really, I have, I have fun playing darts. Like I'm, I'm not very good at it,

but I think it's fun. Uh, have you seen the like darts highlights clips from like the pro darts players where like, they will throw it like that. And then they'll like casually walk back to their little station, and they're drinking beer. Because when they practice, they're always drinking beer,

and so they practice like they play, and so they're really serious, and they're like, hmm, yeah, another Bud Light, please, okay. So what they're aiming for is that ring, the purple one that's kind of in the middle of the stripes. It's triple scoring. So they get 60 points if they get in that purple on the 20. I saw the guy who won interview.

He's from the UK. And he explained that it's a pub sport or game. And so it's played. And so he practices only in the pub. And Ariel's like, wait, you don't have a dartboard? You've got a dartboard at home, of course. And he's like, no, I do not own a dartboard. I have to leave and go to work.

I can't have a dartboard at home. My children coming in the room, my wife talking to me. I go to work, which is the pub that my parents own, where I drink and play darts all night. What a sweet life. Right? Yeah. That's awesome.

The guy's just like. He's like the only guy I've ever heard of who refuses to work from home. Yeah. I'll go to the office. It's like they don't have his beer on tap and he's like i can't practice in these circumstances like i know dude working from home is getting like villainized by more corporate leaders i see it all the time that elon musk is one but he's not alone um trying to remember the other companies was it what do you think having your head i always get like go to bezos when something bad happens you know like i feel like he's the reptilian lizard king i mean a lot of amazon employees i guess it's some it's some text

messages of his get leaked or something like that and they're very bizarre yeah because someone sent me something earlier and it was like it was something about it was something really weird like like i didn't hear about if that's actually how he speaks then like he's not a person like us for real uh yeah i follow the work from home thing a lot it's fascinating to me like i have commercial real estate has dropped in value a ton because of the supply and demand there's all this empty real estate musk for twitter went from something like like 60 of the office space he just stopped renting it he's not paying his bills trying to get out of it.

And he doesn't need it because he got rid of that staff. Other people just started working from home during the pandemic and never went back to work. So there's tons of extra commercial real estate. San Francisco is trying to convert those commercial spaces to residential because their housing is way too expensive. People can't afford it. And they have empty they have vacancies in the commercial so why not convert it and it makes me wonder if like a cool thing could happen here could cities get more livable could fewer people commute

could people just work from home and have like a nicer life and if you like the city then maybe you'd like to work from there and enjoy a fucking coffee place on your bottom floor and walk to places with your groceries and whatever i don't know yeah i think it's going to be hard to get a lot of people back into uh the traditional office especially if they have jobs that truly do not require them to be there like um in sales, we always had the business development center, which really meant if you call in, they're the people you get. You're not just going to get

some receptionist. You're going to get in touch with somebody who's good at wheeling and dealing and selling people cars over the phone. You get those people. Those people need to be there. Those people could have been at their house. I remember the company. It was Starbucks. Of course, we know Starbucks. The people could have been at their house. I remembered the company. So of course we know Starbucks, the people that I interface with,

you know, have to work from the, from the retail place, but they have tons of it staff and bad-ass CPAs and you know, whatever HR staff, those people could work from home. So they're telling them all to get back to the office. They're like, we used to have this

culture where people would taste test and there was a community and there was an office. People cared about Starbucks and each other and it was a family and now that's all gone because we all work from home. It's not the same thing. I don't fucking care. No.

I simultaneously agree with him but don't want it. If I worked at Starbucks, I'd absolutely be like, I don't want to go to the office. All those things that you think are so great. The taste testing are not worth the commute to me. Fuck you. Yeah. And then the other stuff is just bullshit corporate nonsense.

Like we're a family here. We care about. No, we're not. We're not a family. If you could pay me nothing, you would like Mr. Bezos. If you know, I know you got the comfort cube for me and all the warehouse workers, but if you could have me in shackles

for free, you would, if you could do that legally, like families. When you worked from work, right. When you drove in every day, did you have a lot of like work friends and like people that like you actually did like you know friends i mean like yeah there were lots of people i liked for sure like people i enjoyed hanging out with they're very like cool people but like they're not like i guess i've always like i think that was work like i wasn't there to like chat and like it was like side things where it'd be like oh we'll chat about the blues for a couple minutes and like but not like, it was like side things where it'd be like, oh, we'll chat about the blues for a couple minutes. And like, but not like, how's it going in your life friendship?

Cause that's like what, you know, friendship is. So like the whole idea of like, oh, it's a really important social space. It's like, no, not really. Like a lot of people when given the option and the evidence is before you on a tens of million scale, choose to go, I don't want lunch in the office. I would rather have no commute and spend that time with, you know, true friends, family, people in my life that are there and not a work context. And I think that's normal. Everyone wants that. I, most people, my friends at work were real friends. Like Dan, when he had trouble with his wife, he stayed with my family for months um yeah you know like i had friends friends at work but a lot of people don't and i i respect that too it's just not how

i was wired you know a lot of people are like i come to like all you people you can stay at arms distance for all i care i'm here to get my job done and that's an effective employee but it was never me yeah i yeah i don't think it really matters if you if you have if there's a good friendly work environment or not. In the end, I think I'd rather be at my house, right? At my house where you can meet all your work requirements, but at the same time, you can use your own bathroom. Hi, fellas. Hey, hello there.

How are you, Mr. Cortland? Reeves? Do you have an idea? With that light bulb over your head? No, just me? Okay. What are you saying? That's a good point. I should have an idea. What the fuck

are you doing? Hanging out in my man cave. Don't you guys have man caves? Is that your man cave? Yeah. I thought you were in an actual bathroom that's terrible no this is my game room this is my battle station i basically have multiple trading stations set up where i do day trading and i can basically run ten thousand dollars profit per day out of my man cave here wow how do i get involved on the ground floor with something like that? Well, you have to take my course.

Oh, okay. How much is it? Is it cheaper than Tate's? Oh, it's $10,000. Damn, I don't know. I think I know how this works now. No, it's different. It doesn't

work the way you'd expect. It works. So you're in your day trading room. Yeah. And your gaming room. Oh, I wanted to ask, like your pipe dream big video game. Any more movement on that? Yeah, there's a kid who realistically sounds like he might want to help out with that.

But I'm wary of talking about things before they materialize. So no, no, not really. Okay, fair enough. You're just too busy day trading. Day trading, doing drop shipping. I have a stock picking club that I'm at the helm of. Do you have any picks you can give us? Yeah, Uber. Pick Uber.

I have no idea what I'm doing. I lost $35,000 on AMC, AME, whatever that stupid movie. Did you really? Yeah, I did. So you bought in when that shit was big and you ended up taking a bath for $35,000? That sucks. But I mean, you learned your lesson and now with that history, you're a quitter. I have many more lessons to learn.

I got an idea. See? I got an idea. It's to lose all my money. So then I can't. He just needs three and a half new customers. He's right back in the game. That's right. I don't think you'd beat the shit out of that dude in the boxing

ring last time you were on. Had you yet? I don't think so. That was a good fight. Any plans to get back in the ring? No, never, never, never, never, never. I'm not worth it to them and it's not worth it to me. I would do it for literally millions, like a million dollars after taxes, I would do it, but no one's going to pay me that. Or I would do it if I could fight Hasan, but that's about it. That's the limit to what I'm willing to take on to head

damage, as I call it. To do head damage. So millions of dollars or Hasan, the Twitch streamer. Yeah. Fair enough. I don't think he's going to take you up on that offer. It's been out there in the ether for a while now, and I don't think he even likes addressing it. He's such a pussy

man. I would understand if I went out there and shredded that guy immediately, but I'm not that good. Literally, Hassan should just train for a year and a half and get decent.

He's already got the physique for it. How is he such a pussy that he's unwilling to take that? Zach, can you pull up a picture of Hassan? I don't know this person. Yeah, and he's tall, right? I don't know if he's as tall as you.

Already jacked. He's almost my height. His head is smaller, which means there's less of a target. That's true. Yeah, and when I hit him and his head bobbles around like this, it'll do less head damage, as I call it. Head damage is the category. All top boxers are known for their tiny skulls.

Holy shit, that's the guy you want to fight? Tiny skull is good for you. I don't want to fight either of you. No, I don't want to fight. Well, I'd rather not fight Sam. Between those two guys. Oh, this is annoying. A billion dollars over our Turkish

and annoying... Cuomo Fauci 2020? That's not... I mean, those are two very different pictures. You got the Bernie poster in the back there. Silly Billy. Wow, too cool for sunscreen? Nice.

His physique was kind of hidden by that T-shirt. I mean, if this fight happened, I'd put my money on Sam because I think he wants it more. And it could happen because I remember I saw the – I don't know anything about this guy really. Well, if you give him the sword and shield. But I know – yeah, if he gets the sword, he's going to win. But I know this guy, he's like hardcore left politics.

And so Sam's made the point, it would make sense that this guy, as an avatar of a masculine left-leaning dude, would want to take down Sam, who's an avatar of this almost right wing. The whole reason I have an issue with it is because his, the reason why he has this physique is because it's, to some extent, especially when you're a public person, like might makes right, right? Like you're being fit enhances your credibility.

And you know, you could, I'm not saying that that's unwarranted or that's not the way it should be, but I'm saying if your whole persona is the, the, the guy who's promoting communism because of how fit he is, you should at least have the balls to back it up and like use your muscles for something. Otherwise, what the fuck are they doing?

What is the point of having them? If you're a tremendous pussy, I totally agree. He's got it. He's got to fight you. It's the only thing I can tell. Like what's he going to do? Ignore you and make millions on Twitch.

Not likely. Not likely. I'm going to day trade my way to the top. You know what? I think you just just You were into AMC too early I think you need to dive back We've been kicking around That idea of revisiting the AMC Play

Could go that way Okay Wow AMC's had a rough go of it, haven't they? Well, yeah, ever since that meme shit two years ago. Because, like, no one was going. It was just made up. It went from 60 to 5.

Was that the one where, like, the FCC or whatever came out, like, right away afterward and was like, normal people can't trade anymore, it's shut down? I feel like that was GameStop. GameStop. GameStop, and it was, I think, Robinhood shut it down first, shut down trading on their platform. But I think shortly after that, there was a general SEC,

like, forbidding people to go in and out of GameStop. Hmm. That's shitty. Did you get in early on the Donald Trump NFTs? We didn't. I didn't manage to pick up any of them. I got you. Did you get in early on the Donald Trump NFTs? I didn't manage to pick up any of them. I got you. I got you.

Don't worry. Which is one of my prized possessions. Wait, you went out there for a sec. What do you have that's a prized possession? A Melania NFT. You have a Melania NFT? I have a feeling I know what it looks like. Is it the one where her tits are out?

No, I don't have that one, but it's the one that she made where it's a movie. So it's a picture of her. It doesn't move, but it is a movie because there's a sound file. And the sound file is something like, hello and welcome to my NFT. I'm Melania. And that makes it worth more. Yeah, well, I play it every day. I light myself up.

Get yourself royalties. Get ready for some trading. Yeah. Did you ever do NFTs? Because I know you were huge into crypto. Maybe you still are. We have a trading card game called Mondo Megabits that we spent a fucking, we spent a year and a half making. It's not a low effort thing.

We spent almost two years making these bastards. Those are doing pretty well. I still have to continue working on that, but we're starting right now to work on World Peace 2.

I have too much shit going on right now, but yeah, we'll get back to that. Really? You're doing World Peace 2 now? That's news to me. As of today, it's like official, official. The money has been transferred and we're about to go. That's awesome.

I don't know how much you can reveal. What is World Peace 2? Is this a movie? Is this a concept? Is he ending movie? Is this a concept? Is he ending wars? What are we doing? We might be ending wars in a way, but it's a sketch comedy. It's a sequel to the first sketch show we did for Adult Swim.

Oh, cool. Yeah. So is it, and I know if you can't say anything, like is the team back together, the whole gang, or some people not? So far we got Nick, Eric Hayden. We talked to Ruse. I think Ruse is probably sort of doubling down on his, because he's doing big projects right now.

So I don't think we're going to be able to get Ruse. And we would like to get Charles, but I don't know if that's going to happen either. It'd be sick to get Charles back in the mix. I've been watching like, there's something so magnetic about Nick Rochefort that like, you can just watch him talk about a bunch of bullshit. I don't have any interest in,

in real estate at all. And I have no knowledge of real estate or houses, but I've spent like two hours watching him just berate and mock houses. And at the end, he'll say stuff like that crown molding doesn't even fucking match the baseboard right there and by the end of the episodes i'm like yeah fucking fools they don't even know about baseboards and such like i do i'm excited for that that's awesome for anybody that doesn't know that's on the perfect guy life youtube channel nick is streaming every tuesday and thursday at 8 p.m and it's the it's the best street people that people are like uh

nick's funnier than sam sam are you jealous fucking you i'm so excited to ride somebody else's coattails you have no fucking idea it's he's gonna he's gonna going to have the best streaming content on the... I watch it. You should watch it. Tuesday, Thursday, 8pm. Mine is not as funny. Monday, Friday at 4pm. Although we do have puppet shows involved.

But yeah, man. This shit is real good. I like puppets. I love them. I love them so much more. I fucking killed the person that created them and bought the fucking thing. I love it. You love puppets?

I think it's the highest form of humor. In fact, when a comedian breaks out a puppet, I go, ooh, I can't wait to see what he's got cooked up here. Who was that one fucking retard uh comedian who had that like uh that arab doll who he couldn't fly now like all his jokes were like oh you know hey you think we could get jeff dunham is that it jeff dunham is jeff dunham he was the highest uh paid comedian for like decades now you know that you know the fat Hispanic comedian who goes by Fluffy?

Yes. Gabriel. These guys make monster money. These guys make fucking crazy money. But Jeff Dunham for like probably 20 years running was like the top paid entertainer. Kevin, 20 years in a row.

The fucking puppet guy. so maybe something's wrong with me you just need because woody he gets paid twice him all right all right you can't keep up with this guy yeah yeah yeah it's a whole tax scheme the irs comes after him he sends him after the puppet maybe i'm like maybe i'm like misremembering that guy jeff dunham but i remember a lot of his content just being an arab puppet post 9-11 and being like hey we can't go on the plane you're gonna bomb it right and then it'd be like oh you caught me so bad or like whatever the that was more that dog but yeah i mean maybe he deserved to be the highest.

He had at least two or three. He had an old man puppet, and I do remember the Osama Bin Laden puppet. It was just Osama Bin Laden. I liked him, but I was a kid at the time, right? He's still active. There's literally a billboard for him for Foxwood Casino or something that I saw two days ago. He's still at it. It's just a money machine.

There's something about the American public where they want to see fucking puppets all the time. Do you think that a comic like that can get pussy? Is he leaving every casino that night and taking some lady up to his room on that puppet thing? Does he have a line about how he's going to put his hand into her?

He does, I bet. No, man. I hope so. Straight to Columbia. He leaves the casino, goes straight to Columbia to fuck nine out of ten prostitutes, and his pickup line is, I have $50.

I have $50. I'm the highest paid puppet master in the world. But his finger dexterity must be next level Oh I bet his hands are so ripped You think so? I don't think it takes that much strength to work a Racist puppet The dexterity You think he does prostate massages just asking for a friend

What Sam? It takes subtlety Yeah it takes subtlety yeah it takes subtlety yeah and something and you cannot i don't believe it is possible for subtlety to be present in a puppet act is there that's a bold statement you know what zach you're right take this out take the we don't want people to know about taylor's puppetism jeff dunham's legion of fans legion of internet literate fans are gonna find us when they're not laughing at puppets like tards i like puppets no you don't suck on his i do i'm always impressed how did he make more than

chris rock during the boom years how did they make more than i am telling you how was those it was the arab puppet i remember comedy central early 2000s just post 9-11 this dude was on fucking every commercial and it was the guy with the turban like talking about plane crashes that's it that's what he did people don't people don't believe me go watch old jeff dunham it's all jokes about 9-11 with an arab puppet is what i'm remembering literally osama bin laden i think i mean it looks just like joe show me the fucking osama puppet like like i swear to god pull that up and there's nothing wrong with it there i mean look osama bin laden was a bad guy you're acting like we're post osama bin laden being a bad guy in our society, Taylor. Well, he's dead.

Yeah, show a little respect, Kyle. Kyle, would you show some respect towards our dead? Is it time to forgive Osama? I think it's time to pay him his dues. That's Osama bin Laden? Well, he's dead. This is after he was dead, so he's been skeletonized. That's my point. Look.

I like that. He was a suicide bomber. I want you to make me look cool. I'm going to give you smoky, steely eyes with my puppet in my leather jacket. Man, I hate this guy. Is that a leather jacket? I pictured it as rainproof. You're probably right.

Dude, there's no reason to dislike Jeff Dunham. Look, that shit's funny. That shit's funny. It was when I was a kid anyway. There's plenty of reasons to be jealous of his money. Yeah, this is all out of jealousy, 100%. I wish I had puppet money. Man.

If I had puppet money, I'd be in Montana on a farm. I wouldn't even have internet access. We keep calling it puppetry. It's really ventriloquism. That's the cool part. That's the cool part? Oh, I'm into when he makes the eyebrow go up. Ventriloquism

is gay. Everyone knows it. Yeah, Taylor talks for something. Can you do a puppet part of the New World piece? Have a puppet sketch? That'd be good. Vic would love that.

That's his favorite sense of humor would be if we did all puppets. I feel like ventriloquism is a great way to get away with saying awful things in our current society. I don't know why no one's leveraging that. It'd be funny if a really hot chick hit on him afterwards and pretended she liked the puppet they'd be like that's happening jeff dunham said this thing about women he'd be like no i didn't show me the video he's like no that's him i was drinking water at the time the puppets saying rape is good that's the statement the controversial statement what are you talking about the puppets said it the puppet is pro molestation not me get over it

the fact you're bringing this up is offensive yeah Yeah, no. Puppets are awful and they're not funny. I mean, honestly, if I could ventriloquize... What's the action? If I could ventriloquize... Ventriloquism! If you could ventriloquize. If I could do that, I would do it. I'd try it.

Do your best, Kyle. Do your best talking with you. Fuck, man. That's actually hard. Kyle, this is the one thing Taylor can't get done. Taylor, you do open your lips when you talk. No, that's not... You're a one-foot-in, one-foot-out motherfucker.

It's pretty hard to do this. He has his lips... You can kind of... It's not really hard at all, I guess. We're fucking insane. No, that's not. Your lips have to be together.

That's fucking part of the ventriloquist. Have you ever seen a ventriloquist going like this? No, you don't move your lips, but his mouth is open. I would rather watch a bad ventriloquist than a good one. Because I've seen a good one before, but I've never seen one bad one. Straight up, can't hide the fact that they're talking. You can't keep your lips together, Taylor. Just talk out your nose and ears.

I don't know why we're giving this guy a hard time. Look at that cool-ass shirt. Look at his necklace. It's like a Skyrim emblem. He is a better dresser than me. Sometimes I look at better dressers than me and wonder why. What's holding me back? Why am I choosing to wear a fucking dress-down t-shirt all the time? Dude, it looks like he's going to his first

rodeo in that shirt. That's absurd. Maybe he doesn't want you too much Yellowstone. That's like the outfit that you have to pick when you begin the rodeo video game. Why don't I have any rhinestones in my wardrobe? There's something wrong. Yeah.

Why are we being mean to Jeff Dunham? I don't know, man. I'm not. I'm just buying his shirt. Respect the man. Take a moment to pay some respect to the man. You know how much money he raised for those 9-11 victims and their families? None. I don't either.

I feel bad. I feel like it's a trick question. I have no idea if he contributed in any way other than sort of taking advantage of the whole thing with his puppet you know yeah well he made you strike when the iron's hot i bet he's not doing 9-11 stuff anymore how'd you feel about those country songs that were like taking advantage of like where are you in the world stop turning on that september day it's like man this is how much money are you making off this alan jackson like fuck dude i was like i was old even at the time i was only old enough after like that in that 9 11 period because i'm 31 now that like i could see everybody like all the adults become like so

fucking all about america like angry at like terrorists and like arabs and mosques i'm from missouri so like that that narrative fucking stuck here where it's like we can't entirely know who did it but we know it wasn't it was one of them and dude when when america got to when the twin towers got destroyed i should say i was ready for a fight like my favorite football team made the super bowl i was like oh you've seen a few of our boeings but wait do you see the other ones we got an f-22 which i don't know if they made my boeing we got an f-18 we got f-16s we got b-52 bombers we're gonna turn your whole fucking country to glass what country not sure but i bet it has sand and we're gonna turn it to glass i don't care

let's salt your plants so they don't grow anymore they already don't grow fuck it we got salt i don't know i was just so excited for a fight not to participate in it just to root for it yeah we were almost ready to participate i was 17 like like in iraq 17 like like for iraq like i was um i was a freshman obviously for 9-11, watching the thing in school. We watched it right there happen. And yeah, everybody was upset and angry. How can you not still be? It was such an awful thing.

Such an awful thing. I was talking about this the other day, how if there are all those like alternate universes i think in very few of them do we fuck up so goddamn bad that we let that happen that the security messes up so badly that that happens really and i think that if al gore won if he had contested that shit in florida the 9-11 doesn't happen and the whole i think there's an alternate world where al gore's boring ass like focused on the environment and we didn't blow a trillion dollars turning sand to glass and that's probably a better fucking universe i so i don't know that al gore could have prevented 9-11 it was just nine months

in and and but i do think he would have prevented the iraq war and i said he said it before we went into iraq he was like we are putting our money and our time into the wrong thing we should be working on energy independence of course it's a big al gore thing right we should be getting off of oil we should buying oil is what funds all this stuff stop doing that if you really want to get them and like i was sold but the country wasn't. Sam, do you have any? Wasn't Al Gore a Skull and Bones guy too? Yeah.

Oh, they all are, right? I think it's just they're interchangeable. It's just whatever they do is the agenda of the deep state. I think it's – Al Gore was all over that environmental thing. He had that fucking movie that made me scared that we were going to melt in the next three years. And we should be melted by now. And I feel like George Bush was running for president

to prove to his dad he could. I think that was his driving factor, if I'm being honest. Deep down, I think he was just proving a point, right? Same thing with Trump. I think that their individual motivations are kind of like, that's just, to the people in charge, they would call that character building, right? They would call that just sketching out the characters.

I think that the war in Iraq thing was inevitable. It was like a deep state just push for whatever. I don't understand why would George Bush... Fuck, man. Have you seen the video of the kids reading that book? Yeah. There's so much weird shit around it. It just obviously was planned.

I don't know. I think these people are interchangeable. I think they took advantage of the situation. That's what it feels like to me. Maybe even with that third building that went down, it feels like that somebody was like, wait, the towers are going

down right next to that whole problem that we all have? Take it down. Take it down now. We've already got agents there. Yeah, send them in. Fucking demolish it. Yeah. Maybe that Pennsylvania plane that went down was supposed to... It's supposed to

hit that other tower, and they took the tower down even though the plane landed in the field. I also refuse to believe that this man had any deep thoughts about any fucking thing at all i i i truly believe he's a smart guy but but but but jesus his grades speak for themselves i don't think you can just fake those transcripts but jesus christ he looks like a dum-dum that's embarrassing with the kids though that he sat there after they whispered that shit like i would

have been like what the fuck sorry kids for my language but our nation's under attack to washington men the video i was referring to was one where um the woman reading a book to children and having them chant and it's like plane crash it's it's like a very is this a real bell for you no man i don. I didn't catch this. Let me look it up and see if I can find it here. Hold on a second. It's going into the dark web. Yes. He no longer has a good

idea. The light went out. Woody, did you watch any of that Andrew Callahan documentary? No. We run this? I didn't. Is he the all breaks no gas guy? Andrew Callahan documentary? No. We run this? It didn't. Is he the all breaks no gas guy, Andrew Callahan? Yeah, apparently there's some sexual allegations against him. Did we lose Sam?

Sorry to interrupt. No, he's going into the dark web. He's searching for a video. I don't know why that turned the camera off. Oh, okay. You guys see me? Yes. I wasn't prepared to talk about 9-11,

so you're kind of catching me off guard here, but there was a video of a teacher leading children, and it's un-Google-able, un-Google-able now, because Google has intentionally made search results worse. Have you noticed this? Yeah, I have noticed they're terrible now. It's all ads, and, like, if you look at noticed they're terrible now it's all ads and like if you look at anything news related it's all narratives yeah so the uh the and i

and i think they did this um starting starting around pizzagate to intentionally suppress this type of stuff that's um interesting semi-credible conspiracy theory stuff that gets people riled up. But there's a video of a woman reading to a class full of children, and she's chanting, like, plain, hit, must, building. It's a crazy video that looks like some sort uh, some sort of satanic, demonic summoning witchcraft thing involving this classroom full of black children that I think happened. I think it was like right before the towers hit or something like that. Um,

like on that day, was she using the power of those black children's minds to see the future and to make the future? To make sure that the planes made impact. Oh, she was using their sports abilities and accuracy to... She was handling magic. Oh, that's worse. Yeah. Well, it's worse that melanin magic was appropriated by the U.S.

the melanin magic was appropriated by the u.s when melanin magic in nature it's it's the most beautiful thing possible but when i see the cia using melanin magic to steer uh robot controlled planes into buildings it really gets my goat dude i could not agree more man i could i'm so on point i hate it when they use melanated magic in the CIA. They need to be leaving that black girl magic on the streets in the societies where they belong, not using it to create terrorism. I like that he prefaced all this by letting us know

that it was un-Google-able. It's such a good setup. That's how I'm going to introduce everything verify anything i'm about to say put it put it in the edit or something like one of your fans will have a link ready to go you can probably get it on bitly or something like that i mean i would watch i would watch this satanic summoning yeah to see but i mean i would imagine that like a real magic summoning you wouldn't do it in like a classroom right like there'd probably be other ritual things i don't know anything about

satanism and casting spells children to chant something that probably does some satanic shit right there no it could i mean i always thought that part of like the demon satan thing was like you had to knowingly want it like like you had to want demon i don't know my understanding of magic learned from peter pan is that you have to truly believe in it and that's why that helps do it yeah it's kind of like the religion thing where it's like like you have to believe you can't like if you're going to confess to jesus you have to really believe in him and truly repent and all that you can't just go hey god sorry about that because that doesn't count i think am i alone in being like

legitimately creeped out and a little scared of like practicing um um like i don't know dark magic peoples like like like not the silly ones like like not some silly witch on reddit but like if there were some people in power who were actually getting together to do rituals of black magic that involved blood sacrifice. Like the Bohemian Grove stuff? That's terrifying, right? There are. That's real. Are you talking about the Bohemian Grove thing? Yeah.

Yeah, where they all get together with their owl statues and rituals. Yeah, that shit's creepy. Yeah, it's uh disturbing and the spirit spirit cooking all that stuff i want to know do you think there's actual spirits and power behind that sort of satanic stuff or do you think it's like just for the ritual itself people are doing it it's a good question i don't know man i would i would i mean the thing that always struck me weird with like satanist and this always struck me weird with Satanists, and this struck me even as a child because I went to church and everything,

is I was like, why would you knowingly buy into a story and then pick the losing team? See, I've always had taken issue with that because I feel like maybe we've been misinformed the whole time. Clearly, the war still rages between Satan and God. It's not over. Satan was cast out according to God. What if Satan was like, no, I left?

What if that's his side of things? He's like, I fucking bounced. I'm running my own shit now. I have my own kingdom of souls. And there's more people in hell than there are in heaven. We're out of the three to one. That have my own kingdom of souls. And there's more people in hell than there are in heaven. Well, that's not canonical. In no version of the Bible is there a claim that

this is a common misconception. In no version of the Bible is there a claim that the devil is in charge of hell. He is being tortured in hell the same as all the other fallen angels. They're not pitchforking you. Pretty bold of Taylor to explain god to someone who has his own church that's true that's true but i mean i'm actually i'm explaining satan

by the way i think that that this whole conversation is crazy to me it's like you know you guys are mistaken you act like the war between werewolves and fairies is not still ongoing but it is and i'm over here. Let me tell you why it's different, though. I'm hoping that there aren't groups of powerful people who believe and worship werewolves and fairies, but I'm pretty sure there are groups of

powerful people that at least go through the motions of worship toward satanic and demonic forces. Yeah, there definitely are. what's that skull and bone shit all about man when they you know when they're getting in that fucking grave and stuff like what what's the point of all that yeah exactly i don't need the facts skull and bones i'm talking about that uh there's not like a yale thing right yeah i'm talking about that weird creepy club that the bushes are in yeah i feel like sam has a lot more esoteric knowledge on all of this stuff than we do i'd like your input on what you think with the spiritual stuff uh i just got a message from

purple coom so i don't know what the fuck that is from my one of my websites um Maybe that's a sign. I think I think that the fact that evil, it's overwhelmingly true that evil is real. And it's not helpful. I think there are a lot of philosophical things that are not helpful because

you're just sort of mincing words and getting into semantic battles about stuff that is like a gut, human, alligator brain you know it, you know it, kind of reaction. It's overwhelmingly true that evil is real and that evil is the prevailing thread that runs throughout fucking – I won't say most of this earthly existence, but a lot of it. I think that the – because if you look for it, the good can, can overpower it, especially on a, a personal level if you have your shit together. But as far as like the, statistically so many, so many people are like needlessly, uh,

suffering and engaged in this, this, uh, toil, this like soul, soul destroying toil that... And it's trite to say that just the human condition is one of statistically misery. For me personally, no, I'm not a miserable person. I definitely look for the best in everything. But I think because evil is so real, you should be able to make a case that

the opposite that good is is as tangibly real uh and I don't know um you know I don't know if if I don't know what what God is if it's some sort of uh if it's a if it's a if it's something that we are I mean I'm I'm certain that if if was real, we might be anthropomorphizing it too much. But maybe not, though. I don't know, man. But good and evil are clearly as real as anything else. Maybe more. Maybe it's even, they're more real than everything else.

And I know that, I know what it's like to be like an artsy entertainment type person or be a real individualist or contrarian against society and to flirt with ideas like, society and to flirt with ideas like um just to flirt with nihilistic anarchistic um destructive ideas and destruction is a way destruction and this the anarchism and nihilism stuff but destruction specifically is the way that uncreative people create um it's the way that uh a frustrated hurt person uh quote-unquote creates something is by creating a mess that makes as many people as possible feel your pain and frustration. Is that how you describe someone who charges $10,000 for NFT investing lessons? It's possible. Well, if I make you money, if I make,

you're going to make me money with the empty candy lessons. Brother, if I make you money and I ask for a 20, a 10% cut of what you make, we're both in the gold zone. That is a lot of heavy lifting. I'm not worried about that, but,

but here's my point though. I think a lot of, a lot of people like actors, musicians, people who are like – and it's also fun to feel like you're part of a club. And that's a lot of what – like Skull and Bones, they make you masturbate inside of a coffin, right? You've heard this? I have. I have heard that, yeah.

You like lay inside of a coffin and masturbate in front of the other members, which may or may not include your own relatives. Nice. It's like part of it is debasing yourself to and doing things that are against your moral compass, whatever moral compass you have left, in exchange for the promise of having some like elements of your own ambition uh realized and um and and feeling like feeling like you're part of a club like it's fun to feel

like you're part of a secret club it's fun it's fun to feel like you have access to information that other people don't have i mean it mean, it probably gives you a high. Like, even people who are, like, QAnon shit, where people, they relish making up the, making, fabricating these fucking stories that are, like, you know, on paper, these people would be on our side, but what they're saying is something about, is some made-up shit about Mike Pence

that, you know, as soon as anyone realizes the flimsiness of the story, it makes us all look like fucking idiots. But it's fun to feel like an insider with access to information. I think these people just get roped into it. It's like a cultural thing. It's kind of like if you're Jewish, you're going to be playing dreidel,

and the guy that owns the carpet store he's over there he's eating matzo ball if you're in Hollywood if you're in uh if you're fucking Justin Bieber the guy that sucks kid dicks and uh lines up uh child prostitutes for uh Morgan Freeman he's right over there he's making a matzo ball he's making a fucking strawberry shortcake or whatever like the culture Morgan Dude, I love that as a quick aside. And then just continuing. Not Morgan Freeman. Don't tell me that Morgan Freeman's doing fucked up shit.

Morgan Freeman's probably a good one. I hope so. Yeah, he would want an of-age woman. He's with Mel Gibson in the cool the players, in the cool guy club. In the players club. Him and Mel. Yeah. Isn't Mel Gibson good? I like Danny.

I don't think he's fun enough. Actually, I just don't know enough about him. What's he good in? Lethal Weapon. I haven't seen that. Danny Glover's good. Leonardo DiCaprio seems like one of the good ones to me, just based on his girlfriends. I haven't seen Lethal Weapon. Is it worth watching?

You've never seen fucking Lethal Weapon? You've never seen Lethal Weapon? I haven't seen so many movies. You've got to watch Lethal Weapon, dude. Your entertainment choices are a form of child abuse. You're like one of those fucking... King of the Hill is great. You're like when Brendan Fraser child abuse you're like one of those fucking hills great you're like

you're like when brendan frazier was frozen in that one movie blast from the past you're like blown away but but how did you miss lethal weapon i don't know i mean it was when was that made he's insane first of all there's like four of them man he fights he fights gently in the fucking uh third one or the fourth one it's awesome you know what else i haven't seen i haven't seen the good the bad and the ugly i should probably see that that's a very famous movie you know what i can relate to i haven't seen on the waterfront i don't know what that is i haven't seen on the waterfront like some of those old ass classics don't need to be watched they're not as good as it cracks them up to be it's considered one of the best movies of all time i haven't seen it so i'm not weighing in and it's like a 1920s

gangster movie i took a class i could have been a contender on the waterfront oh okay i i know that from a family guy reference it's like part of culture you know it's a big deal did you watch the new avatar right what do you liked it um oh yeah yeah the movie right yeah i'm sorry yeah blanked i was on the car yeah like i i i don't i don't think i'm gonna go to theaters and watch it you know i haven't been to theaters forever i haven't had the i haven't had the desire to i don't know why i i used to love going and I just haven't wanted to go. So Avatar is a paper thin plot and the thickest visuals

ever created in the history of cinema. So like going there and having the audio punch me in the back were there speakers in my fucking chair? How did they do that? The theater experience I really enjoyed it. I liked it a lot. Colin liked it a lot.

Jackie didn't. Okay. She didn't like the experience or she didn't like the movie? What she didn't like was how evil the bad guys were. She thought they were fakely evil. Like over the top. Like, let's burn down their trees while they aren't looking. The whole plot is like, hey, Jake Sully got us in the first movie.

Let's get him back, right? Boom, I've ruined the whole thing for you. So their tactic is like to handcuff children to sinking ships and shit like that. And it's like, how evil are you getting here? This is a joke. Wait, are they those little blue children? Yeah, but they can't breathe underwater.

Fuck them. I don't give a fuck. That's the whole point of handcuff them to something sinking. I'm sorry. I thought that you were like If they could breathe underwater, it'd be like a little like, oh, time for a little underwater

swim, boys. Handcuff them. I incorrectly deduced where you were going with that. I didn't think racism. I thought breathe underwater. I'm not gonna see that shit or lethal weapon. The real reason I can't watch that Avatar shit is because even in the first one, side a hundred percent

with the fucking humans and i think that bitch-ass guy is a he's a race traitor to the 10th degree he betrays humanity for those blue-tailed cocksuckers that fuck with their dreadlocks fuck that shit and fuck their planet if it was the 40k universe that a virus bombed those blue pieces of shit then it came with some roundup at the very least. I'll tell you what, if Monsanto was taking that planet over, they'd have solved that shit in a week. They'd have sprayed roundup from the atmosphere.

They'd have bombarded that god tree they have, and it'd have been a game over. You're making strong points, but I need to experience dreadlock sex before I choose a side. Nah, fuck that. Let's go with dick sex and let's keep... Fuck that is my plan. You're going to fuck the dreadlocks? Like wrap them around your dick

and do a whole show? I thought I'd have a dreadlock in this situation where we'd connect them. I'd have some Navi booty. Which is better. Is the Avatar movie doing well? I hope it's not doing well. It's amazingly well. So there's going to be nine more now. They're already done.'s other than woody and

his family who's seeing this who's seeing this film i haven't met one person in my real life who's been like dude avatar have you heard it not one i think it's done the fifth most sales ever in cinematic history and it's just knocking on the door all right who's laundering money all right everybody be honest who's laundering money love All right, everybody be honest. Who's laundering money? You're right. Long John Silvers goes out of business and Avatar skyrockets. Yeah. That's making a good callback. And then you tell me that the whole plot of the second one is that those blue cocksuckers are coveting some sort of resource that makes people essentially live forever.

And it's like, once again- They have that and they're not sharing they won't let us have it apparently so i'm just thinking whatever what what that's melanin magic yeah that's blue melanin magic yeah and they don't yeah i think they're i think that what it is is they have like like like cartoon like sentient whales that have... There's some goo inside those whales that makes people live forever. And we're supposed to be like, oh no! Don't kill the whales on the alien planet.

We shouldn't live forever. Meanwhile, everybody here would vote yes. Kill the alien whales. And all of those selfish cocksuckers protecting the whales. If the Japanese were like, farm the whales!

It's like, I was going to say breed, but Kyle's right. Don't just kill the whales and wipe out the supply. Imprison the whales. Breed them and create all the supply we need. Chinese bear bile. Have you seen Chinese bear bile markets? Yep.

I have not seen a bear bile market. That's what we're missing in the United States is bear bile cages. See, that's what I... The Chinese are practical goddammit if nothing else. When they need bear bile, they say, hey, why we kill one bear? We only get a handful of bear bile.

We just cut hole in the bear and bear bile just keep leaking out. No, only gets told he's of bear bile. We just cut hole in the bear and the bear bile just keep leaking out. No, only gets told he's a bear buyer. They throw the bear in a fucking cage and they just stick a hose in its belly and they're like, hey, bear bile will just keep coming out of you forever. And the bear's like, please end it. And they're like, oh, never.

That's what we do to those whales. That's what I would vote for us to do to those whales. And if I needed to get my hands nice and blue, dirty, I would. Whatever it took. The Naboo, wipe them out. I bet that our smallpox would just wipe them out immediately. Why are we shooting rockets?

Just use regular-ass guns, man. Smallpox blankets would solve the whole thing. We have Earth smallpox. Okay? You know what that's going to do to their weird planet? Like immune systems? They've got space aids. They've got no answer for that shit. It might as well be space aids.

They're fucked. That's what they have. Yeah. I mean. Have some fucking space smallpox, you blue cock suckers. Yeah. That movie's going to suck. I'm not going to see it.

I'd be a harpooner. I wanted to ask Sam and maybe Zach can you pull up the picture of Sam before his fight where he's looking like a like a monster like let's pull that up because were you on anything or is that

all natural were you geared up no he's on the tee. On bear bile. On bear bile. On bear bile. All right, that's what I need to know. His friend Hopsing hooks him up.

No, that man's on the tee. Yeah. Just on tee? No, I did a deca cycle, which, to be honest, didn't really do anything. It just made my cardio suck. But I was looking good before that before the deca cycle i looked pretty much like this but yeah you look monstrous you look very powerful there the guy behind looks befuddled like and then just befuddled by you yeah that's

whatever his name is the uh announcer guy his forehead is out of control that is a five head Christ almighty he's like Davis in butthead do you pay him to stand next to you with a big forehead yeah that's the promoter that's like cokehead German guy

that uh I'm glad he's not a friend I guess it's the promoter, this cokehead German guy. I'm glad he's not a friend. I guess it's okay to talk shit, then. I watched your whole fight with that very respect to the guy you fought, brave man getting in there. Were you confident the entire way through, or were there thoughts in your head like, I cannot get fucking knocked out?

I cannot get knocked out. I was more nervous than i've ever i mean i was uh i was so on edge i've never been that nervous there were 20 000 people and uh like i you know i knew that if i got knocked out there would be there would be memes of it for 100 years as people will be replying to your gift forever yeah yeah so no i was extremely nervous and um when i when i got out there uh i felt like i had done a full fucking like 45 minute um compounds movement full body workout by the time i was by the time the first bell rang uh i just had such and i'm i'm susceptible to that i i have uh not so much for performance for um stand-up performances because i've done i've been doing stand-up so

much but naturally i'm a very nervous person um i've done i've done a few jujitsu competitions and it's the same exact same exact scenario where i just get a full like maximum adrenaline dump uh 30 minutes before it happens and then by the time it actually happens i'm like wiped out oh wow so you were tired by the time it started yeah man i think if i ever do it again i gotta got to take some Benzos like the North Hollywood. I was going to say a sports psychologist. That is like the worst idea. Are those muscle relaxers? You know the North Hollywood shootout where the guys were armored and they had AK-47s?

They took – I think they took Benzos or something, barbiturates or something before they – And painkillers. Yeah, they took some shit before they went and had their shootout. So I got gotta take a note out of their playbook. That was one of the most badassest things. That whole thing

is so fucking... Maybe badass isn't the right word. It's insane what happened. These dudes robbed a bank in full fucking body armor with assault rifles, and I'm not talking about they came in with a magazine. They got fucking... They've got assault vests with extra mags they got they got sidearms with them and they have training and they've been practiced and like he said they come in all drugged up so they're they're gonna

be slick and smooth they're not gonna panic and they're not gonna feel pain if shit hits the fan it does hit the fan they're outside and the cops are fucking there and the helicopters are there and it's a shootout and they've got ak-47s and the cops have handguns and 12 gauges and it's bouncing off their fucking body armor. The cops going ping, ping, ping and dudes turning around with 7.62 shooting through cars, cutting cruisers in half might as well. The cops have to go to a local firearm store and requisition Bushmaster AR-15s. And when they show up this time, they don't take any prisoners. One of them gets a little bit wounded, his rifle jams, or he commits suicide. It's hard to tell which.

But in the video, you see him kind of fumbling with his gun. One of his hands is a little shot to shit, and he blows his own head off. Like, you watch it happen. He probably killed himself, right? You can't tell. One of his hands is a little shot to shit, and he blows his own head off. Like, you watch it happen. He probably killed himself, right? You can't tell. He's trying to clear a jam at the time, like a stovepipe or something, if I remember correctly.

That's a wild video. He's doing it with one functional hand because he's been shot a little, if I remember right. Again, the other guy, they roll up on the other guy and just bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, like a whole car full of guys rushing him. They just gun him down right there on TV. Do you know what you should do pre-fight is North Hollywood shootout. I don't remember the stats or how many cops were involved or shot, but I've seen the video so many times and heard the cops perspectives.

It's one of the truly most wild things that's ever happened in law enforcement. One of the other really wild ones. Did you see the guy who was upset? I think with the city, like the city government. So he gets a bulldozer and he armors it like a tank and goes on a destructive rampage with the bulldozer. The killdozer. I wonder if we can get a picture of the killdozer. That's such a cool video.

That dude who just got fucking sick and tired of nonsense. And so he just spends. He's like, I'm welding a machine now and just welds a tank out of a cat or whatever it was. Did he kill a lot of people? No, no, he didn't kill anyone. He just destroyed property. Interesting. Yeah.

He put them in danger, maybe. I mean, if they were were slow like that guy in austin powers he's like no to the fucking flattening machine look at that you can't stop that how did they stop it i don't know with a bigger one of those cranes with a magnet on it look Look at that. Did it get stuck, maybe? That's what it was. It got stuck under. It pushed into the building that was encroaching on the property or whatever he's claimed was his.

And then the roof fell on top of it and pinned it. I think that's what it was. And then he was, I think he killed himself. Look, he's, he's, oh my. Oh, wow. That's so cool. Good job, Zach, by the way. You do really.

Yeah, very good job, Zach. Thank you. Dude, can you imagine you see that turret start popping off? Yeah. Yeah, should have just let him have his fucking pawn shop in peace or whatever he was doing. Yeah. Oh, we were talking before Sam got here. I'm just curious about, like, shitty teachers we had growing up.

Do you recall, Sam, any particularly awful teachers that you had? Not really, no. I had a pretty good childhood and educational experience, aside from it being a waste of time. It was a waste of time. Oh, we should clarify.

Did your gym teacher ever touch your testicles in gym? Hell no. You got molested man yeah i mean you're you're talking shit about my teachers i have nothing but kind words for my pedo teachers you're like doing the you're doing that milo thing from years ago he's like oh no darling father michael taught me to give incredible hand you know what i was the aggressor when i got my testicles cupped by a gym teacher that guy's back out of the news again my like uh milo out of the news explain he was i just remember he was on our show like seven six years ago and then i didn't hear about him for a long time and then he showed up with kanye and then kanye must be in a mental hospital like

locked away or something because i haven't heard from that dude. And I imagine he'd be loud if he was still on social media. I want him to just keep going off. Just keep just keep making new lines. You know, don't back off. Just just keep firing, man. It's entertaining. Milo doesn't like Trump anymore. Milo feels like he did a lot for Trump and Trump just let him hang.

It was a very one sided relationship. Trump just let him hang. It was a very one-sided relationship. So Milo afterwards said that he set up the Kanye-Nick Fuentes thing to hurt Trump as revenge. And I don't know if it's true. I don't know if it's like revisionist, like, you know what? Got him. You know, when really maybe he wasn't trying to get him. I'm not sure. but he has claimed that he set up Trump and nailed it. I mean, I haven't heard anything more about any of those people in the last couple of weeks. I mean, I don't really follow the politics stuff as much, I guess. But like, well, it was a couple of weeks ago. He said it, you know, like he.

So Zach wrote, yes, that's what happened. Who knows what the sentiment was? But yeah, maybe I'm misunderstanding what Zach's saying. In any case, yeah, Milo claimed that he tricked Trump into meeting with a white supremacist to get him. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't buy that. But I don't buy that. I would buy that he was trying to probably re-ingratiate himself to, you know, grift and make more money.

And then it didn't pan out. And so now he's retroactively, you know, trying to join the other team. In which case, that guy fucking sucks screw him milo yeah he's just he's a fucking grifter he's just he's just a grifter he will go wherever the wind blows like he doesn't care about anything i like that's that's the that's the vibe i got from him you're gonna hold that against him no but he doesn't do it oh i don't i don't even think he's very funny. Really? Even when he was on our show, did he have jokes? Not really. All he

did was want to suck Kyle's dick the whole time. Yeah, I was pretty jealous. I mean, we were all a little jealous because we all know Kyle's the best looking and being reminded of it all the time, not fun. Not cool. Yeah. Milo. He's not gay anymore. i don't know about that i bet i bet he's

still gay really we'll have to put him next to kyle and see if he breaks yeah you can't just turn that off i thought i i was you're born that way, right? I know where that was going. You're like, you can't just turn that off. I mean, I thought I was, nevermind. Yeah, just be a normal straight guy who every day is saying, don't think about dick. Don't think about dick. Don't think about dick.

Don't think about fucking men. Just a normal straight guy thing to do. Just be like that, Milo. Yeah. I didn't have any horrible teachers I guess growing up but uh I did have I've talked about my meat gazing gym teacher before right me that he was I've used that term he was a grade a meat gazer like there was because like we showered every day after gym and he would stand in the hallway right outside the shower.

And we're all like 16 or whatever. And he would stand there and stare at you. He had a perfectly good office just a couple feet that way. But it wasn't in the line of vision. And this dude would stand there and he would stare directly at your dick and go, boy, it's time to get out of the shower. Come on. And like if you shower too long, this motherfucker would come in the shower with you and be like you got to get out of here in this situation spell come this guy quite yeah see you yeah he would he would come in your ass and you'd be like no he he like uh and then there

was alleged impropriety i don't know the details or anything about that but i know that at some point there was some alleged impropriety about that same gentleman years after i graduated high school and after that came to light i was just talking to a friend who mentioned like remember that guy something happened with him and i was like yeah everyone should have been able to know it was a joke at the lunch table how much that coach liked to stare at us naked every day all the time he just what a lightweight so he never grabbed the dicks i mean he wouldn't make it in Ocean City, New Jersey. If I would have said, if I would have given him smoky eyes and said, coach,

he would have let me penetrate him in the shower. I don't know that for sure. That's allegedly, but yeah, that dude was a creep. Like looking back with like the perspective of an adult, I mentioned this just the other week. I remember that fucking 38-year-old teacher massaging 13-year-old girls in middle school while they're sitting in class.

If I saw that much of that shit, that shit was everywhere. Do you think you could have picked him up? Because you're a fucking hunk in eighth grade. If I made smoky eyes at your gym teacher he'd be like no what do i like the cool kids well he would have been like sir you're my age i'm interested in that and that 91 pussy this kid's perforating around yeah i could never pick up a gym teacher is uh i don't want to push too much on the the world

peace stuff because i know it's probably you know tenuous and all up in the air is this gonna be all you know self-run independent so like no chance of bullshit cancellation you guys are rolling on your own yeah fucking awesome man where, man. Where's it going to air? The plan right now is to distribute it ourselves via Gumroad or a similar website and then we'll have it clipped. We will clip it for YouTube as well.

That's the plan right now. Unless we get an offer from somebody to buy it once it's once it's done uh which probably won't happen but could happen that'd be pretty sweet good luck i mean i actually would you even want it to be bought and like be beholden to someone else i wouldn't care if it was already shot it was already uh edited edited um if it if it would get us a little bit of a boost in terms of distribution, I wouldn't mind

cutting it, cutting out some of the racier stuff. It would mean millions more people to watch it. There's a line. There's a limit to where to draw that line. Kanye found it.

The other thing is, if we were able to get somebody to buy it, then it sort of adds it kind of enables us to do what we did with World Peace 1, which was be subversive in a mainstream venue. Which right now

we're missing that kind of impact. We don't have the same kind of like David vs. Goliath sabotaging from that kind of impact. We don't have the same kind of like David versus Goliath is sabotaging from within kind of backstory to it. Yeah. But we are going to try to get Kevin Spacey. That's awesome. I hope you get him. I hope Kevin Spacey.

You might have to keep some younger characters around to entice him. But yeah, you get Kevin Spacey. Kyle will be very excited to hear this. Kyle, did you know that they're trying to nail down Kevin Spacey for World Peace II? Kyle, that would be so tremendous. It would be. I'd love to see him in a comedic role. Kyle is the captain of the

Kevin Spacey did nothing wrong club Not a damn thing Not a damn thing I mean if you can play Kaiser Soce like that you've earned a little leeway Frank Underwood Frank Underwood was so fucking good to harpoon that show

for those frivolous charges those unsubstantiated non-committal reports by who knows who, many of whom have now passed away. Under mysterious circumstances. Probably hiding from their false

accusations. Yes, yes. Cowards. I want to get Corey Feldman, too. Corey Feldman? He's a little old to attract Kevin Spacey. You need a younger guy actor. Here's what I want. I want to skip where Macaulay Culkin is forced to admit that...

Wait, hold on. What's that, Sam? Sorry, I missed you. If we put Corey Feldman in enough makeup to sort of disguise him and make him look younger, could he at that point attract Kevin Spacey if Kevin Spacey didn't know? That's a lot of makeup.

Is Chris Hellman like 50? Kevin Spacey, I bet he has a sixth sense for this. I'd have to say a third sense. Just a blind, deaf, dumb, crippled paraphrase.

He could tell even if the guy was in a full Mickey Mouse costume. Yeah. Very Dracula hairline. I like that. Well, I was going to say he aged in such a way that, you know when Hollywood tries to guess what an actor's going to look like in the future and they never

get it right, they would have nailed it. If they'd made child... He looks like they made child Corey Feldmanelbin old right there he looks exactly like he used to it's like makeup he does have you seen the guy who played uh wasn't a beans on even steven i mean you guys are a little older than me that disney channel show that was pull up a picture this is actually i don't even want to actually you know it's funny yeah pull up the picture that uh zag it is the most unfortunate aging of a child into an adult i've ever seen in my life and it's it's the kind that hits you make sure it's a child and the side by side bit because it's it's really really rough like every once in a while you see a young ugly

child and you're like that's's a damn shame because that little fellow's going to grow up into an ugly man. And that's the situation. The opposite happened to that one Harry Potter guy. He was a very ugly person in Harry Potter. Then he freaking killed people. Oh, yeah, yeah. Not one of the main crew. You're talking about

the Cedric, not Cedric Diggory. Well, Cedric Diggory turned into fucking Oh, shit. He didn't have a phase in life the uh cedric not cedric degree well said there he is turned into fuck oh there's beans from even see see damn he could he didn't have a phase in life at all where he was from one weird kind of look to another no he went from pedophile victim to pedophile that's how that works sometimes yeah he looks like the victim and the accuser if he ends up being a time traveler and completes that loop i'd watch that movie hey get him in that get him in that that's what i want to see that poor guy get him some hair plugs that would fix

so much here yeah oh my god or just a hairpiece or a hat a hat give him a hat No that's fucking the rapper I don't know I don't know who that child is It's Post Malone Yeah They're both Post Malone Five minutes or something Just so you know I should probably head out in like five minutes

What other questions you got for Sam Kyle I I I wanted to see Macaulay Culkin I'll head out in like five minutes. Okay, what other questions you got for Sam, Kyle? I wanted to see Macaulay Culkin on your show, and I'd like to see someone really put the nails to him once and for all on what Michael Jackson did to him, because he's been covering up for Michael for a long time. Yeah. And I want to know why, and I want to know if it's so that his brother Kieran can have a Hollywood career.

I want to know if that's what he gets in exchange for his, not just his silence, but his complacency and his false stories, alleged false stories. Have you seen any of Corey Feldman's musical performances on Good Morning America or shows like that? I have. I think they let him have these performing he's terrible he's the worst is he really oh no at one point he was like a michael jackson impersonator like he just he just copied everything about his style and his vibe and feel him out on these uh tv shows that he has no business being on like good morning Morning America, popular shows that normally – and it's just obvious that the reason why he's able to get these gigs is for his extended silence about whoever did whatever to him in the 80s.

Yeah, I wouldn't doubt that. It's like you can keep being a peripheral member of this club if you just don't spill the beans. Part of the idea here, we get Kevin Spacey, we get Corey Feldman, we get him on the show, and then we just lock him in a box with no phone. And no condoms? I think I'd be good at

extracting information in a way that would minimize the legal damage at a later point. I would just be like, you don't know what time it is. You've only been in this box for five minutes. And hurting them in a way where it doesn't bruise us. Yeah, beating them with phone books or a bag of oranges. Yeah, just putting a lot of weight on their chest

with a soft rubber band. This doesn't hurt, does it? You're being hysterical right now. Tell me what you know. This would be a good sketch. You just have to be the torturer. You're a natural.

Yeah, no, I'm ready for this. I think we got to get, we're trying to get as many washed up Hollywood personalities as possible. So that's basically. And then after that, we buy them Chick-fil-A and be like, see, that wasn't so hard, was it?

You got Andy Dick. Did Andy Dick. Yes. Andy Dick. That's a good Andy Dick is such an easy get. You got him now. I don't think. Has he been molested as a child by Hollywood executives, though?

For sure, dude. For sure. A lot of stuff going on. I bet. I think he's a molester. I think he I think he did some. There were some improprieties. He doesn't mean he wasn't. Yeah, that guy's got a lot of stuff going on. I think he's a molester. I think he did some... There were some improprieties. No, it doesn't mean he wasn't...

No. What does he know about the Hollywood hierarchy? Do you think he's got information? Honestly, no. I don't think he knows anything. No, he was on an RV... Pauly Shore might... ...who only used me blade, so probably not.

So Pauly Shore is one of those Nepo babies, right? He'd be an interesting get to like talk about uh i bet i bet he's seen a lot of weird shit and he's just an op he's had a real sad career i thought he was funny as a kid remember that do you remember the paulie shore movies like son-in-law biodome i never liked you know man biodome was cool i like biodome i like biodome too yeah do you know like i didn't know this i think there was a biodome too oh i meant as well i choose to believe you like the sequel yeah yeah the sequel is way better godfather godfather 2 kind of thing that dude's only famous apparent like i learned this from listening to like opie and anthony show back in the day apparently his mom owns like the biggest comedy club in new york and that's enormous that

makes you very powerful obviously and so he just started getting roles by extension because you know people wanted to play there it seems like sam and kyle know this well you know the thing the thing about the nepotism thing like it's first all, it's kind of a weird thing in 2023 for, it seems like a lot of people are first now learning about nepotism. Like why? But the other, the other thing is like, uh,

all that, all that means is that your parents were so cool that everybody around them wanted their kids around too. Like, you're one of these, if you're like on Twitter, you're complaining about nepotism, you're probably just unlovable and uncharismatic.

And nobody in Hollywood would want you around their cool parties. Yeah. Because they're fucking losers. You talk a lot. You have a lot of opinions. But Gwyneth Paltrow's kids, they're probably chill. Yeah.

They probably... In the Hollywood circles, they have some Little House on the prairie rules for the kids like speak when spoken to like be quiet it's not my fault they suck at choosing parents take some responsibility for your actions exactly yeah that that's the way it it be because you choose your parents i saw a good idea from belarus today that belarus made if you where is this going it was that they belarus made it legal to pirate content from unfriendly countries and honestly i think that that is a great idea like that's a really fucking good idea because i mean honestly it benefits belarus way more than it would us because like i don't i don't know any belarusian actors but like i think we should implement the same thing

why should i have to pay when i could pirate from a a film or movie or show or music or whatever game made in a different country that we don't like. You're just trying to pirate Escape from Tarkov. I can see right through this. What content from foreign countries that are enemies is worth a shit? I bet there's a funny Russian sketch show.

It's Escape from Tarkov and Tetris. Those are the only two. You should pirate products from stores you don't like. Yeah, I'm going to go pirate things from Target right now in real time. And as long as I keep it at $9.99, I can't go to jail. Actually, that's

not true because here in Missouri, they still don't play. If you go into fucking Walmart and start robbing shit some some guy's gonna be very stoked at that well what's the law for uh 400 years of pirating melanin magic looks like nobody's facing any repercussions from that that's so fucking true man i know all right take care bye sam bye timothy courtland reeves courtland reeves i don't know it was just a made-up fucking waspy name that he thought was funny guys can we talk about jeff bezos's tweet we we can in one minute first we're going to hear

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And the NHL, too. The National, oh my God, that's a lot of cum, league. So check it out. What were we talking about? We were going to talk about... What do you want to talk about? Jeff Bezos' tweet. Yes!

That's the thing. Go to that. Zach, can you pull it up? I want to smell you. I want to breathe you in. I want to hold you tight. I want to kiss your i want to breathe you in i want to hold you tight i want to kiss your lips i love you i am in love with you i love you alive girl i will i will show you with my body and my lips and my eyes very soon now people are acting like this is creepy this is quality texting so she's clearly like italian or spanish or something She's clearly Italian or Spanish or something. That's Olive Girl, right?

Oh, I just realized it's the blue side. Jeff is receiving this. Right? Because if it says Jeff, Jeff Bezos at the top and it's in blue, this is what she wrote him. No? Why would he call... Why would she call him an alive girl?

It's from Jeff. But why does it say Jeff at the top? Shouldn't it be her name at the top? Blue would be his accent. He named her. It's Hefe. She's her. It's Hefe.

Shouldn't it say, like, Mary or something at the top? Hefe. I cannot wait to smell you as well. I think we might be overthinking it. Where did this come from? How was it acquired? That's the story. Oh, this? I made this. I think we might be overthinking it. Where did this come from? How was it acquired? I feel like I'm Joe Rogan discussing for 11 minutes a fake

tweet with 400 characters in it being an idiot. It doesn't make sense. Where did it come from? Someone else sent me some sort of Jeff Bezos related nonsense. You can't fake those kind of screenshots. Okay. They don't have entire work on legitimizing the story um oh there we go page six.com is racy tech that's racy i want to kiss you

kissy kissy face bezos the way he said it's like uh selfies that's like the level of like like an indian guy on twitter harassing like models Kissy face Bezos. The way he sent selfies. That's like the level of an Indian guy on Twitter harassing models. Like, I want to kiss you very much. Oh. Posted in 2019. I mean,

I'm just skeptical because it doesn't work. Her name should be at the top, not his. Maybe page6.com is a reputable source, but I've never heard of it. Here's what I think happened. I think maybe they have just mocked up what the text would look like poorly. Maybe. So this is just whole cloth made up. Here's what I'm sensitive about.

I watched a Jerryerry episode and in this episode he says that he is unbullshittable something to do with his not having a father growing up and just seeing through bullshit his bullshit detector is so finely tuned that he doesn't believe he doesn't get hoodwinked like other people do this is a dude who believed that the moon landing was faked now in that episode, he and his partner discussed for 11 minutes some fake tweet that had way more than 240 characters and how they didn't believe with what she was tweeting, which was like an anti-vax thing. I mean, that's like a common, like very common. Like you see this with advertising, too, because advertising is just a form of propaganda like like we've said before like a a very successful piece of propaganda is the idea that propaganda is pamphlets dropped from nazi balloons like that's what people are meant to think like no propaganda is in every

commercial all this stuff and so fuck i forgot where i was going uh it it started off with the fake text joe rogan's oh yeah yeah i'm sorry and like like in like in advertising that's the same world and like so like the people who say like advertising i'm not affected by that that doesn't impact me at all those are the people who are unironically the most impacted by it because they don't even have a guard up to filter the propaganda being fed it they see a commercial with people you know drinking coke smiling at the park and they internalize that thoughtlessly without even you know you know what i mean like that and so it's easy for people who think like oh i'm above advertising

wow what a hokey commercial it's like no bitch you're thinking about that brand right now it worked like so on advertising i feel like I'm normal affected like everybody is. Influencers, like YouTubers or whatever, I am a sucker for that. If I see some motorcyclist riding off-road that's better than me, I am, like, zooming in to see what boots he has. Like, I'm all about it. This monitor? This is Shroud's monitor.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm not alone. If it's good enough for Sh not alone if it's good enough for shroud this guy like yeah shroud might be paid to choose that monitor but on the other hand he wouldn't play on a shitty monitor for a it'd take a lot of money i agree with that i agree there might be six months he's okay with but that's one of them yeah three million dollars right yeah but i'm a i'm a sucker for what influencers tell me is good and i i don't know i always will be i guess i i tell you what somebody that got me recently um i don't remember the guy's name but there's this guy on youtube who runs like an animal rescue type thing like out of his house like he's got a big like ranch or whatever and

he's a big muscly guy himself like i can't again i can't remember his name i'm trying to describe in case you come upon him but he does like these one-off videos where he's like rescuing a new dog and he's like i'm gonna give you a family and like makes this dog part of his like pack of dogs and they each dog has an individually awful sad story that'll make you cry of course and like and it and then i'm i was like this guy he's a hundred dollars real fucking bad i'm over there crying i'm crying on pay i'm a on PayPal crying. So he can buy like a week's worth of days worth of dog food for his 18 sick

old retarded crippled blind AIDS infected dogs. YouTube shorts pushing these videos to me and I keep watching them. So it just continues. This guy is a dog trainer and he brings in these aggressive

dogs to like his backyard it's fenced in but imagine like with a fence with a roof and tall walls and everything and uh he's like you know here's a fucking whatever doberman with uh aggression issues so i introduce him to my pit bull who deals with dogs that think they're tough and he always gets his he gets his dogs to alpha lesser tough dogs and until they learn to submit and i think it's pretty fun to watch you have seen it okay yeah i like that a lot i like that a lot it works like it sounds hokey and like like are you just sicking your dog on these other dogs but in reality the the dog isn't trying to like fight them his isn't his dog is just kind of i don't know using some dog language to be like hey that's not cool you got to chill out no not cool you got to chill out do you want to fight

because we can go there yeah that's exactly it all in dog language and he just at he uh narrates it where you know he's like oh do you see uh this dog he hasn't submitted yet he hasn't submitted yet uh there he is now he's bowing his head now he's doing this and and his dog always wins at least and it's like a better social vibe afterwards like everybody's happier for it like like like everything everything's a lot more copacetic afterwards yeah i like all those videos. It's weird how the algorithm works. It's so good. It's got to be the most

expensive algorithm, the most heavily developed algorithm that there is. That YouTube algorithm. There's so much money in that thing. It works so goddamn well. I watch it in real time adjusting and learning what I... Sometimes I'll fuck up because I'm playing Tarkov on one screen and I've got the shorts learning what I sometimes I'll fuck up

because I'm playing Tarkov on one screen. I got the shorts on the other and, uh, and I'll be like, fuck, I let that one roll three goddamn times. Now it thinks I like Brendan shop. So now I gotta be quick on the,

on the, on the gun to like get rid of his bullshit now or it's good. Cause now it's just sending me like every other ones, Brendan shop, like with one of his nonsense takes it's uh it it's wild how fast it learns so you've got to be careful not to it's it's a little bit like that tinder um algorithm how like people will swipe on every girl and it's like no no no it's gonna see you as like if if you were more selective it's gonna view you as someone who's a selective member

who's who me who means what they say if you keep doing that you're it's gonna view you as someone who's a selective member who's who me who means what they say if you keep doing that you're it's gonna blow you out like do some bad stuff to you it's gonna i've heard that about tinder i remember when tinder first came out people just swiped constantly like either they didn't know the algorithm or the algorithm wasn't sophisticated back then i saw the guy he had a chicken cutlet just automated spinning swipes right on every girl so he didn't have to yeah i'm trying to think what i did it's gross but yeah i thought it was heat i thought you had to have like some kind of heat in your hand for it to for touch screens to work. I think it's melanin magic.

Trust me, a dead person's finger would work just fine. For sure. I wonder, a dead person's face? You think if you're in the winter, phones just don't work anymore? I don't know how it works.

It sensed heat or something like that on your finger. Because if you wear thick... The phone sensed heat? Yeah, if you wear big, thick winter gloves, you can't do it because it's not just touch. No, it's because of the texture of the glove. That's why they make those special gloves

with the texturized tips so that you can operate the phone. All of those are super, super thin, and I was always like, maybe that is something. It's transforming warm. If this is stupid, I was joking. those are super super thin and i was always like maybe that is something i don't know man if this is stupid i was joking oh that's a good one then no you're you're probably right i'm not willing to totally no i won't come to the table what is this term where like your body can

hold electricity the conducting layer is conduct connected to a low voltage for a short port of time tiny electric current on the screen i'm right this leaves with a small electric charge and when your finger touches the screen some of the small charge flows onto it oh i sort of thought it received it and what is electricity if not hot touche i lose but, that's why You could take a sticker, put it on a regular Big fat winter glove and get it to work Certainly so Or on the pencil eraser I didn't know that

I thought it had something to do with heat This whole time No, you could absolutely Homer Simpson like Tinder Remember when he had the little drinking bird Keeping the plants from melting down It's venting It why venting the fucking waste yeah he's like vent the radioactive waste y-e-s and then he finds out he can just hit y he's like marge i just tripled my productivity like he just hit y over over and over oh uh i i ordered a new pc finally oh did you yeah mine's at the repair shop because it's uh i got the 4090 get out you offered everyone else on the call yeah yeah i went

with the 90 i got a it's got a thousand watt power supply. It's got 32 gigs of RAM, a 4090. It's going to be cool. It had a bunch. It's a pre-built one. No, you see, I'm going to be able to play Age of Empires 2 in the finest quality. You have to get a new monitor now. You realize that, right?

No, it's funnier if you don't. I found out. This one is up to code. This one's up to snuff. It does the full 60. This Asus can do everything. And this one can do most of it. This one's dog shit. This one needs to be thrown away probably.

What is everything? No, no, no. All right. You might not know. All right. So let me share a little wisdom before we go a layer too deep here. So in my opinion, unless you're a different kind of use case than me i like to game on one good monitor that i got right here i got the like i said shroud monitor

well it's a benq monitor um but my peripheral monitors i see no reason for because what they do is they play youtube videos and they do discord so they're 1080p 60 hertz monitors because who fucking cares yeah like like like i don't know why yeah i they're like whatever hp makes the cheapest stuff that that's what goes over there and uh so that's that's what i'm thinking but but as far as your main monitor what i'm saying is you really need to step up to another resolution and a lot more hertz if you're gonna have a 4090 graphics if you're gonna have a 4090 graphics if you're gonna have a 15 1600 graphics card jesus christ i don't know man i'll figure it out it'll be fun oh that reaction is not a good one that means you're not gonna figure it out at all

how many hertz is your primary monitor? Oh, man, just a bunch. He said this one does all the things. No, this one, 144. This one says 144 hertz. Is that right? But what's the resolution, Taylor? How do I check that? See, it's 1080p. No, it's not that because it looks,

because everything I move from my 1080p one over here gets teeny tiny. It's probably 1440 then. Okay, alright. Where do you go to... Okay, display. Look at this. We're figuring it out. Okay. Do you think he has the right cable and 144 hertz enabled?

Probably not. Enabling, it's tricky. You gotta go to one of the cards right click display settings i remember going to some nvidia control panel or something yeah there's a that's okay display resolution wait display resolution is that what yeah yeah yeah 3840 by 2160 that's 4k isn't it? Yeah, I told you this was a 4K monitor. Oh, did you? I didn't listen. You said 144 earlier.

Oh, I thought that's what it was. Maybe it's not. Okay, so 4K is a resolution. How many hertz are we getting? How many frames per second? Oh my god, man. I don't know. Where do I look that up? How much was your PC? Don't distract him, Woody.

$3,600. I just want to know how much you wasted on a shitty monitor. He's like, I've got this $3,600 PC. I connected it to my Etch-A-Sketch. It still looks like shit. I mean, I'll be able to plug it in and be like convincing myself a 25-year-old game looks better. Players are like, no, no, I kind of get it.

No, I kind of get it. To be honest, if it is 4K at 144, then it really is your investment in computers warranted. Yeah, that's hard to find. I agree. Okay, well, if I look later and I find it and it's not the right hertz, what is the name of the one you have, Kyle, and is it a curved monitor because I don't want a curved one? We'll have a different conversation if your monitor isn't up to snuff.

We'll have to do some fucking research because my monitor is a different use case than yours. You should play at 4K. You're not going to play any games that are – we'll talk about it later. I bet you're not even to play any games that are... We'll talk about it later. I bet you're not even using the right cable, though. Because 4K, 144 hertz cable, I don't even know if the cable I use handles that. I bet it's a fancy cable of some kind.

4K requires a fancy cable, so maybe he does. There's no way I have the right cable. There's no way. Well, if you're playing it in 4K, it can't be too shitty. I mean, I don't see quite in 4k so i'm not sure if if this is that much better than anything else but you're right like these two i'm going to keep the same because that one just has discord and this one just plays old opie and anthony yeah exactly yeah we'll figure it out later about about the we just want to make sure you're getting all the you really need a streaming pc for the open and anthony monitor yes yeah i need a streaming i'm gonna save this pc and then

use it as a streaming pc and like it's just gonna i'm gonna get so aggravated trying to set this up like i'm gonna get so annoyed oh i'm sure there's a youtube video with some indian guy like knocks out of the park in three minutes flat three minutes minutes the whole time I'm, like, pausing, rewinding, pausing, rewinding. I watch it. Are there videos on YouTube that you'll watch or anywhere, really, that where you'll watch in fast forward and some that you'll, different kinds where you're watching

in slow motion? Because if I'm watching a video that's trying to teach me a whole thing, fast forward that bitch. But if someone sometimes i got a slow-mo like like certain stuff so that i can like figure out what the fuck's going on i mean i i know i've never listened to a i think once i listened to a video on fast forward and i i hate that cadence so much i switched back i just i if oh i don't listen the content creator is a slow talker i fast forward him and i do it um with aggression and

malice in my heart yeah i'm angry at him yeah like there's a couple so i watch a lot of like descriptive like tarkov videos recently because i'm doing all these stupid tasks where you move around the map and i i need him to tell me in a quick fashion because i'm like in the raid hiding in a corner and there's bad men around so I can't be on my other monitor too long and this guy is like taking the time to loot and stuff on the way to the

it's like dude show me where the door is do not pick up that bottle of isopropyl alcohol you do not need that teach me what I need to know so I put those guys on two times speed and and uh and i uh my information diet doubles in speed that way it's a it's a beautiful thing i mean i can see that i am dominating tarkov it is just a great time i got the i got

the hideout done everything's maxed i don't do the bitcoin farm but i was gonna say like that's doesn't pay for itself it's just silly it's it's like hey you want to throw money away for no fucking reason no no are you sure because you'll also get to babysit it as you slowly get that money out no no you're not looking for some babysitting two hubs but yeah they have completely shifted the whole tarkov meta i don't want to do a whole tarkov like talk thing but it this is the biggest change the game has had in its I don't know five six seven year existence whatever it's been as far as a meta shift they have moved almost all of the mid what we thought of as mid game end game gear they have moved it much further down the

road and they have made the quantities of it much lower and they've made the availability of these things much lower these are these are items these things much lower. These are items like high quality scopes. These are items like armor piercing ammunition types. These are the most prevalently used armor and rig items. The things that just kind of

are good at close range and long range that everybody ends up just using because it's the meta. Nah, we don't like that. Push it forward. Keep yourself supplied with the right ammo by crafting it? Not even close. Not even close. You can make like 120 BP a day or

something and it's very expensive. Not even close. But you need level 4 traders essentially to get to any decent amount of armor piercingpiercing ammo, and it's not decent, like 100 per reset of M80, for example, I think. And the scopes, again.

And then things have been taken off the flea. Things have been taken completely out of the game. Things have been taken completely away from the traders in some situations like the 7.62x39mm BP ammunition, the armor-piercing ammo. It's a huge shift in the game, and it's going to make the early wipe last much longer, and it's going to make the people who play a lot but maybe aren't successful every raid, you're going to run out of armor. You're not going to be able to get any more level 4 armor.

You're going to have to go to put your level 3 armor on. You're going to see a lot of lightly armored people and people without great ammunition in their guns. And that's a cool shift because usually a couple months into this game, everybody has guns that kill super lightning fast and everybody has armor that kind of, it is expensive, it is the best armor,

but now it just kind of feels useless because again, everybody has the ammo that cuts through it in huge quantities. So these are great changes. People would go to labs and get trooper armor and just flood the flea with it. Yeah. They fucked all that too. The ammo that

spawns on scavs is the shittiest of ammo now. Like you can't even get the okay stuff. It'll be hollow point ammo in their guns. It'll be the ammo that doesn't penetrate the packa. that's just flesh ammo and shit like that and in small quantities but labs they're raiders and they're better equipped but not anymore i've been i've been killing raiders on reserve and they drop horse

shit they drop ak's that are like barely put together like they don't even put the sights on them so you can't get those the ammo in them or is is kind of mid to poor like ps ammo from 545 they have they're not dropping bp or anything they're not they're not dropping armor piercing ammo they're all shooting flesh ammo at you and and so you can't farm up a bunch of it from them seemingly i haven't seen it uh i i don't know i don't i don't play labs uh labs is full of cheaters. Labs is 100% full of cheaters. I would not go there if I wanted to have a good time. That's been the meta for a while now, and I just keep hoping

it changes. I've heard Reserve is another map that's kind of too cheater. I haven't seen one. I play a ton of Reserve. I got a Red Rebel, so I'm just in and out of there a lot, fighting the Raiders. It's been my favorite wipe of all time i've never had this much fun playing that game before um playing by myself makes it so much more fun

it speeds i get so many much more game time in when i'm not having to wait on people yeah like it's one of those games where everybody's got to get their fucking shoes fucking tied and oh did you put your baseball cap on no the blue one not the red one dummy we got to have our our blue ones on for this and it's like if i were just by myself i'd have already been out like sold all the shit i got the first time i've been gone on the another fucking mission it's hard and then there's being in raid maybe you do maybe you spawn and raid you find whatever six things and you're like you know what i could go right now and this would be a victory but no your friends want to play 40 more minutes on this map yeah i'll do that shit

the whole time you're at risk for losing the things that you're happy to have and it's a problem but being alone seems like it would make it harder in a way where like you like a couple guys come up on you like my understanding of this game is like it's not common like cod to just three tap people like you're kind of fucked right you have to be so so there are some advantages and disadvantages to playing so obviously i'm outnumbered but unless they're fucking seal team six over there it's hard to play in a group if if gunfire breaks out you might look over and see your buddy and and take, like, wait, is that you? Is this that? When I see a thing, it dies.

Like, anything in the field is an enemy. I can immediately go bang and shoot. They have to take a second. And I'm always getting to see them first because I'm walking and they're a big, loud, noisy group thundering around. So I can set up and kill the first one with one shot. And now it's like a 1v1 or a 1v2 and if i'm suppressed like silencers this wipe they've changed the audio mostly for the bad but the one thing they did that is wild suppressors are so effective now that you can't hear the gunshot at all at any kind of reasonable distance so it's like it's not very fair it's like you're

it's like a ghost is beating you up that's what it you're you're running along or walking along in the night and all of a sudden your guy goes and you're like what the fuck i mean there's a little icon that shows your hp and you're like someone just shot me in the arm so you start running and someone just shot me in the chest and yeah where could he be you don't know where and here so like start thinking it through like you know and what do you do stand still and start spinning like a lighthouse no you're fucked if they have a good enough vantage point they'll just pick you to death with their suppressors it's a nasty mean game so playing solo i've i've definitely had instances where like there

were four of them and i i stupidly shot one of them and then they all turn around like what were you thinking and just and just bully me to death just they all got me down to add to what kyle said though when you know to add to what kyle said when um when when you solo and you hear footsteps you know there's a problem if i'm in a group of three audio almost doesn't help me much because i'm constantly hearing my friends thump thump thump everywhere and i can't usually recognize like footsteps and know that there's danger i'll assume it's kyle when i when i play with a group i usually run the group um and kind of decide where we go and what we do and um one thing that i do a lot is i'll tell everyone to go silent which means just

completely stop moving that means don't open your fuck don't press tab and look in your pocket that means don't swivel in place that means don't like do don't touch your fucking shit and if you are touching it don't release what you're touching. Because if everybody can go silent simultaneously, then the enemy won't have time to match our silence. We'll hear him creep, creep, creep. Like if he's using our steps to mask his, and we're doing that constantly like it's a haunted mansion.

Because it is. Are you all like, you said there's not uniforms like there's so much shit in this oh so you could all be wearing like a red shirt or a red yeah something yeah we could all like um so do you know what are you about uh going to ragman and like buying the uniforms the there's all the different clothing options oh yeah yeah sure when you unlock them with different levels and there's also the armbands but i would still argue like when i play with teams it seems like they all dress differently every raid and you know they're dressing based on what they have and one thing yeah sometimes that happens we have coordinated like we'll all wear cowboy hats sometimes that's a good one everybody's got cowboy hats on you can quickly be like oh there's pecos bill i know not to shoot him you see anybody without a cowboy hat that's an indian you know but you just gotta hope there's

not one very stylish badass that wanders in your midst it's happened really that's funny so one guy just came in you're hey fellers i'm bored of this here rooting dude you know what's happened to me? I used to rock this backpack. It's called a Pilgrim. It's very large, which is why I liked it. And it's purple, which is why no one else likes it. People feel like it makes them too seen.

I had my own theory that was, you know, they're really seeing the movement. And having a different backpack really makes the difference between being seen and not seen. That was my thought. But because Pilgrims aren't desirable and they're big that means they're expensive i'm sorry they're inexpensive for what you get and i'm the only one that has one so when people like my i'd be playing with whatever larry and he would not kill people with pilgrims because it's basically woody's uniform and i'll rock that red neoprene face mask in a pilgrim because I don't buy the color thing being a big issue.

And it stops me from getting team killed. Yeah, that makes sense. I just don't like playing with team because I will team kill. Like, I do my best not to. I try. But, like, in a clutch situation, I feel like it's better to pull the trigger and kill something than not.

I'll tell you, though, if your teammate has a red neoprene mask and a pilgrim, you probably know you don't team kill that guy. Every match of this game is a little story or movie. Sometimes it's a very boring story, but sometimes it can be a compelling

one. My friend and I were creeping through this health resort one night with our night vision goggles on during a storm so we couldn't hear very much and we were near some barbed wire so we had to approach it carefully and suddenly a man that we didn't know about dropped from the floor above through a hole in the ceiling right between us pretty in the darkness. So I start hosing him down with this overpowered machine gun. And I don't stop until there's nothing alive in front of me, including my friend. And I killed the enemy first, but I couldn't be sure.

So I just kept going. Because the worst thing would be if i killed my friend first and let the enemy live so i decided immediately they both have to be shot i mean that's that's what that that like any good general has to make yes that's how i see myself as the general yeah as the colonel of sorts of the the Krieg. Have you finished the book? I haven't. I'm most of the way through, and I am, it's really good. I'm like literally looking at the books in the back list,

because you know how they have those things that say like, other things by this author. Like, I'm going to look into those and buy some. Because like, I don't know a better way to like, put it than like a popcorn book. Like, it's, I don't, you're not don't you're not like you're trying to learn, like you're just absorbing it passively. Well, actively because you're reading, but, you know, you're you're engaging with it. Like if you miss a little detail here, they're not the biggest deal, but it's just a cool ass story.

There's an un I have never read a book that just has more fights and violence interspersed. Like it constantly fights, constantly violence. It does not have the vibe of like a true, like epic, like Lord of the Rings, where it's like you're waiting, waiting, waiting for Helm's Deep, waiting, waiting, waiting for me to steer it with this. There's so much violence in this world that there it's not even within the context of the world. It's not as though they're shoveling violence in. It's just the default is this much violence. And so it doesn't feel as forced. I'm really liking it.

This is such a cool universe of races and creatures. The whole mantra of Warhammer is there is only war. In the 41st millennia, there is only war. And it's sort of a day-to-day... Every day is a battle. Every day in that book, at least by the middle point. Another battle happened today. We met the enemy again

today. Because it's essentially World War I in space. They wear very World War I uniforms to some extent, they're like spacey like advanced versions of them yeah not and uh it's good that's good i liked it a lot it was i i liked it because i was curious about the krig like because i've read about them in other books and i wanted their backstory and their i wanted to know what their deal was because they're

i i liked the curious like they're like cool little throwbacks to like the world that we live in now like the you know traditional terra or whatever and like that's really cool too like i like like they'll they'll say things like yeah they're called the krieg believe it or not back on terra many millennia ago that was a word for a language that just meant war and it's like oh cool it's like they're talking about the german people and german language as in the way you would talk about a group that was 35 000 years ago you know like we don't know german anymore fell to history but there was a language on terra where krieg just meant war and it's like oh wow like that kind of stuff like those little flavor additions i think are really cool it fills out the world very well um if you

ever want to like watch an interesting thing about the emperor in particular there's this little i think it's a fan animation it probably is called uh the last church and it's uh it's a little long i think it might be 30 minutes long and essentially it's the emperor of mankind visiting the last church on earth because he's purged he's purged them all he's he's gotten he's he's he's his big thing was science is our religion like there are no god and i am god yeah no no that no yeah no no no that was later that was a revisionist thing i learned well i learned that through a video, not through Krieg. Yeah, that's unfortunate.

He would not have liked what they're doing with the worship now. Or maybe he would. But it's him visiting this priest, and he doesn't reveal himself to be who he is, but he has this long conversation with the priest. And it's really good. I don't know. I sat there compelled for

30 or 40 minutes watching it uh i liked that a lot i'll tell you what else i've been watching those submarine world war ii animation videos i cried today i cried at one of them today let me tell you submarine video yeah yeah so so this one wasn't specifically submarines. Because they're so deep and alone. Hear me out. Hear me out. There's no other ship down there. No other ships to keep them company. Just recycled farts in the guy next to you. We're all like steel can down here.

No, this one wasn't specifically submarines. It was the tale of a British boat. So essentially it was early World War I, and the situation was that a German vessel had gotten into the Atlantic unseen by the Royal Navy, and there was a huge merchant fleet that was heading back toward england with 37 i believe vessels um and it's they're all civilians it's merchant fleet they're

they're goods um fuel stuff like that but you know not military men not armed vessels 37 of them and amongst them as sort of a a ceremonial or like a token protector is this boat that used to be a cruise liner. It used to be take, take the trip to fucking Australia and back with, with civilians on a cruise liner. And they had strapped six inch guns onto it. Okay.

They strapped like multiple six inch guns. Some of them from the 1800s. And this is the defender of this, some of them from the 1800s. And this is the defender of these boats. Well, they spot this gigantic battleship, German battleship, off in the distance. This thing has multiple 11- or 12-inch guns. It outranges them by kilometers. So they flash the lights. Identify yourself to the Germans. Germans don't speak English flashy flash. guns it outranges them by by like kilometers and that so they flash the lights identify yourself

to the germans germans don't speak english flashy flash so they reply back with the same thing you identify yourself and the and the english are like aha we know this german ruse get them so they instantly make the decision what has to be done. The fleet has to scatter. They have to throw up a smoke screen. And the cruise liner with its six-inch guns from the 1800s has to steam as fast as it can headlong into the German battleship and hold it off as long as it can. And the battle does not go their way. Their guns are so outranged that they don't get to hit the Germans.

The Germans keep their distance and slowly kill the Englishmen. Even when the captain's arm is blown away and his leg is shredded, he refuses to stop commanding the vessel. And he says to keep shooting the guns at maximum elevation. We've got to distract them

and let the fleet get away. And in the end, over 30 of the vessels made it because of uh you know their their sacrifice and i was i was getting all teared up when that's an that's an incredible sacrifice when i realized they weren't gonna and the worst part was it was like a these were like merchant marines like like they weren't uh uh they didn't have military training, per se. They had been part of the crew beforehand when it was a goddamn cruise liner. Oh, so they brought drinks to people and snacks.

They got the original crew manning many of the physicians. People should know this story, man. That's unbelievable bravery on behalf of those people. I felt so but but every one of these stories is kind of similar with like the heroics and the crazy stuff i don't know how this it's on youtube and not on the history channel the history channel is such a piece of shit for not having cool cool stuff like that on there because it's so cheap to make it's like sister wives instead yeah that's what tlc is the learning channel remember the learning channel and now it used to be surgeries my thousand pound sisters or whatever the fuck for y'all young folks out there there was a program on the learning channel tlc called

operation you know what it was it was 45 minute human operation procedures i saw them like give somebody a cornea transplant and like i definitely saw someone get um um their uh um appendix no when you get neutered as a not neutered but uh but fixed as a man um vasectomy vasectomy thank you i can't think of that word i was like kidding you watched a man be castrated on the learning channel i couldn't get all circumcised like that arab seems pretty taliban or that doctor seems pretty taliban doctor la la la la la la no they they i they just had the operations there and i remember sitting with my mother at like 7 p.m 8 p.m at night watching them stitch some lady's fucking cervix up or something right it

was crazy did you ever see uh the the breast implant ones where yes where you could almost where it was the the nipple and like most of the good boob area was blurred out. But seeing that as a 13-year-old on TLC was like, Hey, dude, check out Channel 5. There's a breast exam. There was this one show. Does Taylor know that movie? I bet he doesn't. I don't know.

You don't get that reference! You didn't! Woody gets the reference! It was a good reference, Taylor. When Woody has the reference and gets the fucking friendly chuckle for me and you're left in the cold, go watch Office Space. Go watch it. Oh, I've seen Office Space.

I must have just missed the joke. Then you need better recall. Then you need better recall. I'm going to need you to get some Adderall. All right? I'm all drugged up over here and I'm getting these references. You're just snapping. Dude, I'm going to get some Adderall. All right? I'm all drugged up over here, and I'm getting these references. You're just snapping. Dude, I'm going to get on Adderall.

I'm going to get thin. How's your diet going, Taylor? I know that you've been on it for a couple months now. Yeah, I've been doing good. I like pretty much, as I have, a couple beers right now. But these are 99 calories, so it's not a big deal. I've been doing pretty great, honestly.

I'm still losing weight in a slow, sustainable way. You haven't shared numbers yet. You choose not to? I'm going by clothes. I want to get to where I fit into my thinnest clothes, and then I'm going to weigh myself. I'm not 100% sure how much I weigh exactly right now.

You don't want to know your numbers. I have gone through two shifts of clothes. I'm not saying you're not losing weight. Oh, no, no, no. I was just saying like- The psychology is interesting. Yeah, like it- The methodology is interesting.

The methodology is interesting, I suppose. You're right. Like I like that feeling of just like, like I put on a pair of jeans just a couple weeks ago just out of nowhere being like i remember these looked kind of good on me back in the day put them on fit like a dream and i was like like this is one of those things like fuck yeah hell yeah i'm gonna start wearing belts again i'm gonna start well that's like crazy i'm gonna tuck my shirt in no no i look like a fat idiot with my shirt tucked in because I'm

I have like I have very broad shoulders but I have also I have birthing hips yeah I I could definitely Woody and I could push out a couple of of babies with our hips and like Kyle's got narrow hips so he doesn't know this but I feel like my hips are narrow, but right above it, that bone, the one that supports the Adonis lines on the front, whatever that shit is, those hip bones, I feel like mine stick way out. Kyle, when you were really lean, what is it, two years ago, 18 months ago? What size pants did you wear? 26?

No, like 28, 28 29 something like that yeah i don't think there's like 33 right now i'm 34 right now and i don't think i can get much thinner like i like i can get thinner but it wouldn't change my pant size like no well i mean like maybe i don't think you could get more you could get thinner and it would be an aesthetic advantage because like the fat that you're losing it when you're going from like i would say you're probably below you're definitely below 16 you're probably below 15 you might be below 14 somewhere around 14 to 15 i would guess you might be judging me from december i ate restaurant food for a month kyle it's more like it's more likely that you had a lot of sodium and you're carrying some water

than anything i bet if you did like a water fast like like you'd be surprised how good you'd look overnight um but but i i think that uh like i don't know if it's a good look to get down to 10% body fat for most people. Like, you're so goddamn veiny, and you look kind of gaunt. Yeah. And you feel a little like that, too. It's like, I don't know, your body's kind of running on fumes all the time. So it kind of feels like if you ever were to be without food for an extended point like you're not set up for that anymore like like when you're down to 10 body fat or whatever i was

i whatever i said is what it was whatever the paper said eight and a half percent nine and a half percent something like that i couldn't go a week without food i i i mean i don't think i'd i might die because like richard your body would be like, we're out of electrolytes. Season one survivor, Richard Hatch, shows up chubby as fuck, a good 30, 40 pounds overweight. He won the shit because he could handle it. That 30 or 40 pounds was 120,000 extra calories he was carrying around. He had it like a camel.

Everybody else showed up with six packs, rocking like veins in their biceps. They didn't have reserves. Yeah, that is like the smartest tactical move of a reality show person ever, I think, because he didn't. He was just a fat guy. Oh, I thought that he like. He already bulked up. No, I thought he literally gained weight beforehand. Maybe that was like.

People have on these shows, but I don't think people have on these shows but I don't think Richard's in that category. Yeah, he was season one. So if he had done that, he would have been the next level brain. He went to prison for tax evasion. He didn't pay taxes on that $1 million. Taxes is the only thing that they will get you for.

Always. They're hiring more IRS agents agents now too no they're not they are though to the irs well the republicans tried they did yeah that's true the republicans passed a bill in the house that like defunds the irs but it's not going to get through the senate of course and certainly not going to get through the presidency yeah yeah of course but it's not going to get through the Senate, of course, and certainly not going to get through the presidency. Yeah, of course not, but that's a good one. That's a good one. Getting rid of the IRS. Dude, if the Democrats got together and were like,

no more IRS, I'd be like, fucking pin a D to me, baby. It's a good move. It's a smart move. I know politics and me, but when Trump was president and they had the Senate, all the Democrats had was the House house and they passed bill after bill after bill that couldn't pass because they didn't have enough power yeah but um and it couldn't become law i should say because they have the power but at least they like were for something they were like hey look this is what we would do if we did have the power keep that in mind next time you vote that's good they're

working and i wanted the republicans to do something similar and you know what at least with this irs thing they got one yeah because they're not only voting to defund the irs their whole point was that the democrats are hiring like some absurd number of new irs agents right i saw that that's is that am i wrong about that no they are hiring a huge amount of new irs agents reportedly the problem is it's half true so that what happened was there was a report that said the irs needs 87 000 agents over the next 10 years or 87 000 employees over the next 10 years cool that sounds huge right but the republicans act like they're all agents when they're not there's it professionals which might be more dangerous than agents and hr employees and all that other bullshit.

It's those OnlyFans bitches. Oh, I'm all for it. If there was a squad for that. I mean, I get their point, though, because I understand there are HR people. It's a small percentage, I would guess. But are more or fewer people going to be audited? More. Way more. more or fewer people going to be audited because more way more and i saw something that was like

a huge amount of the new people being audited are like making 75 000 a year that part's untrue they're making 400 000 or more oh no but that was like that's like that same bullshit with like no new taxes for people like they always do shit like that where they say they set an anchor point so high that people are like oh well that doesn't me. And then it ends up rolling out. Well, the thing about the IRS is they try to audit people where they'll get some money out of it. So if you're talking about a regular guy making $75,000 off a W-2, there's no fucking cheating to be happening there. What are they? Exaggerate their charitable contribution by $100?

How much did they get away with is your point you gotta be you need a lot of income to interest them because because i mean not really if the irs isn't uncovering tax cheats and and like drawing those funds in if they weren't making sense they're not like the post office okay they can't lose money yeah okay like clearly they're catching they're catching people that's very funny that's good every dollar you spend in the irs brings three dollars in but as a taxpayer i'm like i don't know i still don't like it yeah i don't like it either it's not enough the roads aren't even nice like get it together ours are yours are nice in atlanta has no roads in saint well actually if you're out in the suburbs of saint louis like the roads are nice it's like if i go

to a blues game it looks like a ukraine war zone my i'm sorry i travel a bunch the states that have better climates have better roads and i think that's a huge part of it you're so right it's the salting and the and the freezing if you have multiple freezes and and if they have to if they ever have to scrape and if they ever have to salt you have a completely different playing field and it's not fair from anybody in texas to to to say shit texas ought to have better roads um i'll say this there's some parts of texas it's pristine It's like y'all spent so much money on this highway. There's not even enough people out here to justify this. Thank you so much. I felt appreciative. It's nice. You know, when you change from from like rough road to that smooth black asphalt and it just goes like the car gets quieter and smoother. like the car gets quieter and smoother that's what texas highways are like sometimes like like maybe not when it's when you're going through this when you're going through like refinery

country and you see like the burners like like burning the exhaust fumes at night those aren't the good roads all right that's not what i'm talking about but like out where you need a brush guard to make sure the deer doesn't kill you and your family so it gotta make you gotta splatter them bitches those are some nice ass two-lane roads you know what else texas has that's nice and infrastructure and like let's say the west they're freight trains good god so i learned about this recently freight trains used to be 5 000 feet long max because a huge part of freight train operations was moving coal which is heavy so they have these shorter 50 foot long uh there's a word for the cart but whatever you know that little cart now

those carts went from 50 feet to like 200 feet on the big ones and they're not moving coal which is dense and heavy they're moving like amazon packages and shit like that which is mostly air so these trains went from 5 000 feet to 15 000 feet nearly three miles long and they blew my mind when i waited like minutes and minutes and minutes for them to go by like i'm putting my kickstand down turning off the engine and just watching train for a while because there's nothing else i'm gonna do they're so long they're so huge but oh and by nothing else they're going to do. They're so long. They're so huge. But, oh, and by the way, they're double stacked. Like you picture a train with a freaking shipping crate on it. Two shipping crates. They're double tall.

And I'm trying to like roughly turn out an estimate of how many semis are not on the road because of this train. This train, is it 700? Is it 1,000 semis it prevented from going from one place to another it's huge well the the thing you need to consider is that where that arrives there are thousands of trucks yeah distribution centers like it's arriving at a dc but nonetheless it's a lot more it's a lot more efficient in every single way than having trucks get in. It just pushes those trucks into a metro area. Where they belong.

No, it's 100% more efficient. I'm just joking around. Like, yeah, trains are cool, and we need more trains. And I always see shit about, like, oh, Europe has all these trains. Dude, fucking look at the size of France. Like, that's, like, get real. Like, if our whole country was the size of Montana, we'd have some pretty robust...

Taylor, let's pretend that our audience is stupid. How big is France? For them. Is it even as big as Texas? I have in my head it's much bigger. I think it's larger than Texas. It's definitely not as big as Texas. Here's my guess.

Wow, one of us is great. I want to guess. I'm going to use states to describe how big it is. My take is, and I could be wrong here, I think that France is smaller than Florida. I think that France is smaller than Florida. I'm going with Texas, Oklahoma combined. All right.

Woody thinks that France is gigantic. One of the biggest countries on the planet. All right, Taylor. I think that texas is now that you said you're i think that it is about three quarters the size of texas not quite as big as texas oh i've won so easily jack show us show us how big france is fuck it's you i win no damn fuck yes no i feel like i think it's so big i'm seeing about three quarters texas maybe slightly more but certainly not throw in oklahoma what's the percentage what's the percentage of size it looks like exactly what you said oh he says about the

same okay it's actually about the same because you got all those overlapping parts it looks like texas is a bit bigger texas i did not think it was that that big yeah we just don't know shit well oh wait i'm looking at the words on the side does it tell us oh it's like economic status diversity i don't care about that give me like current land governed and square miles there 248 000 square miles and 268 for texas yeah so more call them pretty close okay it's incredibly close wow i thought it was so much smaller than that i there was a point when okay everyone remembered this what do you think france is very large now it's definitely way bigger than flor. It's way bigger than Florida. Texas is that, yeah.

Maybe I'm wrong about how big Florida is. Are you thinking of Italy? You might be thinking of maybe economically it's comparable to Florida. No, I'm picturing it on a map. I'm just wrong. Okay. Okay. I bet France's economy is bigger than any of our individual states.

See? I would beg to differ there as well. I would beg to differ there as well i would beg to differ there this is fun okay i want to do california's gdp is bigger than than france's i say all right that's an easy one you are a thousand percent right on that okay i know that i know that california's gdp is smaller than germany's and that that France is what the second largest economy in the EU so I'm going to say I'm going to say France is still above California I'm going to say it give us

the answers that give us I can't wait I think it's the same page you had up we'll have GDP numbers damn I hope I'm a genius twice I would think California is ahead I would side with Woody on this one i would think california is ahead of france but i know i know germany has a bigger economy than california i don't believe that country but how much bigger is germany's economy than france germany's very

good at work and like keeping things on time and like if they could just get past a couple things like we should really get back to this point because they're fucking good at organizing shit how long does it take them after every world war to be like oh is everyone still trying to pick up the pieces oh do you need to buy like some electronics or something like this is a little embarrassing we lost and we're doing great like did we rebuild like the the parts of like germany or you know i guess east germany that that we... Did we rebuild that for them? No, they did it. Did we fund it somehow? With interest-free loans?

I do know this. They weren't doing well. Okay, everyone! Get to submit! Zach, where are we going to get our GDP numbers? I need the fucking GDP numbers? Do you need me to look it up? I need the fucking GDP numbers. Okay, I can...

After the First World War, let's see, France's GDP is bigger than New York, Florida, and Texas, but not California. Go back and remove that. All right. Edit out the part where Taylor's wrong. If you can remove that part

where I thought that Florida was bigger than France... Oh, that's funny. That'd be swell. That's the dumbest thing I've said in a coon show. Hey, I was fucking close. Oh, I thought about that. So my waterline's still... California's annual GDP is about 2.8 trillion,

which is roughly the same as France's GDP of about 2.9 trillion. Wait, so did you say you're right? The Korea Trade Investment Promotion Agency says, economic data from 229 countries tracked by the U.S. Department of Commerce Bureau of Economic Analysis and the CIA World Fact

Book were compared to countries with GDPs of the same sizes as GDP of the United States. California's annual GDP is about 2.8 trillion, which is roughly the same size as France GDP of about 2.9 trillion. What? You won by 0.1 trillion? I'm a genius.

Neck and neck. Genius. Just an absolute genius. Just a genius guesser. See, you can tell the link's real because it doesn't even include the last part. I trust the Koreans. Costusvit.org. It's literally look.org.

That's science. That's facts. Taylor's fun. Taylor's opinions. Yeah. Dot fun. Yeah. I think this is a Taylor's House URL.

No, you can't prove this. I'm not buying it. Man, that is so awesome that this filled right into my agenda. God damn it. Does California have a bigger economy than France? You don't think of the French as being productive. I think that's what it is. Yeah, they love cigarettes.

I've been watching a YouTube channel that they're so nitty-gritty it's all it's i think there's something wrong with this guy basically what they do is they look at all of the video out of ukraine and and this this guy is like tracking the m67 hand grenades from canada and the u.s that had been shipped to the ukraine and he's talking about like ah you can see the batch number. If you look closely here in his hand, these came from Canada. Oh, and here, this batch number is the second known batch number. These are US M67s. And if you look here, they're cited as 25,000 of them being shipped on April 17th.

And he's, like, tracking all this stuff. And then he got to the French hand grenade. The French hand grenade was beautiful. The French hand grenade, the pin was anodized and mirrored a little bit. It just looked great. It was shiny. And the American

grenade looks like a... First of all, it's an older grenade that we don't use anymore. It's the M67 baseball grenade from Tarkov. It's the M67 baseball grenade. You know, from Tarkov. It's the one with the very long fuse, very round and baseball-like, five-second fuse, essentially. They're old Vietnam-era grenades.

I thought they were football-shaped and kind of waffle on the outside. Am I describing it? That is a different kind of hand grenade. And that's more like an F1 that you're describing, think um uh but but um but nonetheless the m67 is like a like a like a round baseball grenade and that's what they're sending them in huge quantities but then the french thing had like this shiny mirrory anodized spoon and the whole thing was like olive green but with a

little lacquer on it so it so ours just flat and dull, and it kills people. And theirs was like, kill people with style. It was just a little bit nicer. I mean, the French know food really well. I would put, like, definitely behind Italy. Italy's number one in Europe of food. Italy may be number one in the world for food, as far as just total amount of variety.

You know the Chinese invented pizza, right? I mean, who would give a shit? And pasta? What did you people even come up with? Honestly, I'm not Italian. I'm not an actual Italian. I'm an American mutt.

With your Dago mustache. And your greasy hat. not an actual italian i'm an american mutt with your dago mustache i like american food when i leave america it's all carbs describe american food american food is meat heavy and sometimes just meat on a plate you know i that. When I go to Mexico, oh my god, it's just a bunch of fucking carbs. Like, oh, do you want gravy on rice with some sort of bread to scoop it up and a rumor about chicken? Beans. Yeah, beans. You know why, right? It's because most of the world can't afford meat.

And most of the world gets their protein from chickpeas and shit. When you go to Japan, it's like rice heavy, some sort of bread heavy, and then a meat that you don't like, like fucking goose or something like that. No, they eat a ton of fish. They eat a lot of duck, unfortunately. I do not like duck. Duck is great, man. You really don't like duck?

I might have been prepared poorly. I need to have well-prepared duck i've only had like like like scrub duck but but but i'll uh here's the thing when i go to a nice restaurant it's like man am i gonna risk it with the 95 duck yeah or am i gonna biscuit like or am i gonna get that steak that they've had hanging back there like kyle yeah for six weeks or whatever. If they make their name on. I mean, if I'm going to a Japanese place, I'm 100% getting sushi. Like, I'm not going to order beef.

If I go to a hibachi place and it's more of like everybody's ordering stuff at that hibachi stand, yeah, I'll get beef or something spicy. But if I'm just going to a Japanese place, it's sushi. Or actually better than that, sashimi, which is exactly what Woody said he liked, which is just slices of raw fish on a plate. There's no rice. There's wasabi. There's soy sauce. I like nigiri.

You like nigiri more. I like them both. Is it nigiri or is it nigiri? Because I just couldn't imagine a Japanese person saying nigiri. I always said nigiri. I thought that sort of – because jiri. I don't know. Maybe it is nigiri. I always said nigiri. I thought that sort of cause jiri. I don't know. Maybe it is nigiri. I think Taylor's coming off a little racist in this. You say

I don't think so. I think I'm expressing my love for Japanese say it, but with like a Mississippi accent. Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. Yeah, I'm even hesitant to say vinegar with a southern accent. That's a risky place, folks. That's risky.

Each one of them. It doesn't work. It doesn't roll off the tongue. Well, really, nothing does with a southern accent. You got to go closer to the Texas panhandle when stuff starts rolling up. Then you can have a little Nagiri. That's almost a little Matthew McConaughey sound. Well, that's where the man's from.

You know what I like about being a 28-year-old sexual predator in this film? Tell me. Is that all the girls that I molest are the same age? Do you know that? Now it's George W. Bush. Now he's... This is my McConaughey accent. Oh, goddamn.

McConaughey. Got the name right, too. McConaughey. No. No. That's like a swing and a miss, but they fouled it at the coach. Kyle, Kyle Kyle who is the easiest person to do an impression of oh I mean I want to I want to tell Woody to

Arnold Schwarzenegger is very easy especially if you just do a very basic Arnold you like let that flow. Like, like that's super duper easy. I think, um, Australian is just like that crocodile.

Then the, if you just quote crocodile Dundee and you don't have to like free ball and like on the, like, like very few accents. Can I like be fluent in that accent? That sounds like a silly thing to say, but you have to on the fly,

like with Russian, I can, I just know how the words should sound so I can make it do that but with australian if everyone can say now it's a knife like you know how to say that yeah but if you have to like i don't know i think that's very easy to just say now that's a knife with an australian accent so i think those two in particular like super easy just copying those really just think those two in particular are like super easy. It's copying those really just copying those two actors performances. What do you give us? Oh,

that ties into what I was saying. It's like part of it is doing the accent and part of it is what would somebody say in this accent? And you think the second part's easy, but it's not like it ever, ever non-camera person. Someone puts a camera in your face and ask you a question you are frozen most people are terrible terrible terrible if you if you put them on camera that's where i am with accents it's like what he said do an indian accent like fuck i know

like four words and then i hit the wall but yeah so like even right now i'm like well what would schwarzenegger say i'm gonna pump you up i ignore the fact that my father was a nazi i ignore the fact that my father was a nazi in your world of accents that's a winner like taylor i was so i for some reason in texas i got indian food and uh i was very motivated to learn the Indian accent. So there I am on. Oh, and by the way, Taylor once told me years ago that he practiced accents. And I'm like, wait, what? This is not a skill that he was just born with.

This is something that he like a skill that he developed and worked on. It's like when I tell those people, oh, you're just good at drawing. You were born that way. They're like, no, it's practice. You dick. Well, by practicing accents, like I mostly do just do it, but I would make myself laugh. So I'm on my motorcycle, and it's so horrible that I quickly get bored and discouraged. I'm not trying.

It's hard to make yourself sound certain ways. It's almost like trying to hit a note that you've never hit before sometimes because you've got your voice and your way of saying things. So some things in particular, just like pulling German out of my ass or pulling Indian out of my ass. Indian's hard. That sort of bounce thing. I end up in a weird place. You know what is funny about this for me is that I've been playing Age of Empires 2.

And so there are many civilizations in this game. And so me and my friends, when I play, I have been only asking for help in the accent of whatever civilization I am playing. And so recently, just because of this voice voice i chose to play hindustanis because that is fun to me and so when i am attacked i will say to my friends i will say help i am being attacked and i need assistance help i am being attacked at the northern side of my base and i will very much like if you could send assistance. See, that's convincing enough to be a Hindu gas station

operator on a prank phone call to call corporate and have some crazy thing about your Funyuns being eaten up. That's excellent. That's so good. That's a hard one to do. The bounciness of indiana is very much enjoyable to me i like doing your light on the bounce i the whole time i was thinking

you're you're hitting that you're hitting that low part of it that i've only heard from older indians like like yeah i that like i i hear i hear that that part of it that's sort of in the back i hear that from like oh i'm picturing an older indian man with like partial baldness who's like hassling me over over a car like i've heard it there but like that more bounce it that up and down sort of thing i hear from like younger telemarketer indians who are trying to they're like quickly trying to rip me off like before i can hang out that dead diotis speaking and not in the correct manner like that it's so fucking fun like i think indian is like one of the easier ones i can't do british to save my life because it just becomes australian but indian indians because it's so bouncy british is like british is like british is at they're at

least three or four distinctive uh different british accents. And we always we often try to imitate that very posh like Alfred the butler sort of thing. And that doesn't even exist there outside of like, it might not exist there at all. A couple weeks or months ago you guys were mocking English accents

who were from like blocks away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're disgusting like like patty boy brother what are you from east chester yeah oh you're not even fucking english i'm a fan of manchester city i'm a fan of manchester united isn't that hilarious we have to throw a little shade at the uk their country's so small they have to have like all these teams in the same place like yeah they're like like big rivalries between north chester's tinshire and east chester

like ferocious rivalries that they that they see as irreconcilable. Meanwhile, that's how far we go to the grocery store. Yeah, it is funny. And I'm the most American of that. I'm a dude from Missouri. I'm from the Midwest. I'm from the type of people who are like, the beach is only 15 hours away.

Let's drive. That's what Midwest people are like like if we like we could dude i was thoughtlessly drive across all of europe like absolutely absolutely no i've done it i i have been sitting in my house on at 7 8 9 p.m and just decided i'm going to drive to Florida or Illinois tonight and just start getting ready. I've done it multiple times my whole life. I was like

24 or something like that. I just drove to Southern Florida that night with no preparation. My cards were getting fucking declined the whole way you shouldn't get a red bull and yeah like yeah i bought enough monster like like locally because i knew i was gonna it was gonna be morning before i could get the bank on the phone

like like it was just a few months ago when i was just like you know what i want some fucking drugs i'm going to illinois where they have real weed and i'm gonna smoke some drugs and just you know right i was really disappointed with with the value that that you get there because i i didn't find their weed to be particularly strong or of good quality which is man after i thought after being exposed to california and colorado that just like holy shit when you make it legal it just gets good but damn illinois way to prove the world wrong even michigan is up there like looking down their nose at you with your shit weed and your fucking armed guards

making everybody feel like a fucking like the whole point of like legalizing and medicalizing it is that we don't have to feel like scared about going to our drug dealer but you go in that place and it feels like you're going into like yeah yeah no no this is um illinois like many of them all right so the one i wish i could remember the name of it but like if you're driving up the main interstate it's the first one right like like so they've got a big parking lot and they've got signs and stuff and the first thing you do after you go through the line although this was covet season um there's a guy there's a guard out front like all right you can come in you can come in and

he's not turning anyone away don't don't misunderstand me he's not like a bouncer at a nightclub but he's uh he's only letting a few people in at a time because the first room you go to is where you're like showing your id where you're from and like holding room like a holding room before you get in there where the product is they're filtering out any riffraff and and they're making sure they know who they're dealing with and uh and man even that one in particular i didn't mind any of that but there was one scale and i went to a lot of these like when i was up there they had these like low limits i think and maybe i was looking for a good deal because they were so silly and

i just wanted to experience the whole thing so i went to three or four i drove around great distances unfortunately to do this there was one of them where it was like jesus why is that guy did y'all like hire a guy who was so much of an asshole the police department fired him like is he the guy who was who spun his service weapon in public and yeah he's on paid leave working moonlighting here like like he just seemed like a dick like like you could just look at him like dude smile dude fucking smile like if you're a security guard anybody listen to this if you if you work security you maybe you're a guy with a gun fucking smile at people dude because everybody's uncomfortable man like unless they're like a gun guy, too, or they see your Marine Corps tattoo

and they think of you as their bro. Everybody else is a little uncomfortable. You got that piece. Fucking smile. Let us know you got a soul. It's just fucking weed, man. Can you imagine if like... I mean, anybody who's out there packing,

you better also have a smile on your back pocket to let people know. The weed store is definitely more... Even in Colorado, they all do the holding room, and then they usher you in a couple at a time, and it's like, no holding room for me. In Colorado,

at the Green Place or whatever the fuck, they're like big chain. You go in there, they stop you, you wait, you get carded in the holding room and then you like they like have those steps on the ground so that you know where to walk in case you're fucking a retarded person and then they let you in when other people leave every time i've gone to colorado they've had like that limit of how many people can be in the fucking like you know okay okay when i was in colorado i didn't recognize it as such because

the store was empty so it was like i just walked in and then i was in colorado i didn't recognize it as such because the store was empty so it was like i just walked in and then i immediately went back and i told him i'd never smoked before and that made me like a celebrity amongst the employees like suddenly they all want to help me and i'm all there by myself and it was it was a good experience the difference though is like in colorado it always feels very hippie didippy. They're like, give it a minute, brah. There's some other folks in the room getting their chill on. In just a minute, you're going to slide up in there. Oh, it's already time, brother.

It has begun. It's like welcoming you through a fucking beard curtain. You haven't seen one of those since in real life ever and pretty girl with the weed room harry potter sunglasses sure you know like but but it feels very chill and i don't remember any armed guards in colorado i've never granted i'm usually stoned but i don't remember ever seeing that shit at all and i there's i've been to some crappy ones and some great ones i've been to everything from like the small town ones, which are the best, by the way,

the small town dispensaries are the best dispensaries I've ever been to. They've got the coolest products that they don't fuck around with any of the, the, the stuff that's silly. I've also been to those stores that are, everything has an iPad in front of it displaying what it is. Like, like they've spent like 30 grand on ipads or something so that each

kind of each strain of marijuana has its own ipad that that's like streaming a little clip about it like growing up on the east coast in the rockies blue blood orchid weed was crossed over with granddaddy perp it's like shut up and tell me the thc content oh that's that and they it's all pie graphs and stuff like like like showing the t the terpenes and everything um that's cool too it's usually like more expensive you're paying for those thirty thousand dollars worth of ipads while you when you buy your weed of course like like everything's inflated but um i've also been to like i remember we got stuck at a shitty one on that on on a trip not too long ago.

I get my trips mixed up because, again, these are drug trips. But there was one of them where we were like in like a weird little kid's cafeteria room. Like it felt like a kid's break room where you could go smoke. They've got like a weird thing. Oh, it's that place where like it's the only there are very few places where you can go in and smoke that's what yeah this is that place there's only like a handful and they've got a weird vibe in there where they don't like they like sell you snacks in one part and they sell you weed in the other but they're like different businesses and like the room you go to smoke in they're like hands off

like oh what are you doing here is what you're doing here and it's like what is the law is really bizarrely written here huh but but i just remember thinking that place was awful because it really felt i remember the tv didn't work and uh it felt like um it felt like i was i don't know it was like a government building that there was block walls from high school i remember that that was not a pleasant environment at all. No, those aren't good memories. You were talking about how shitty Illinois prices are and all that shit. I was reading that apparently, because obviously St. Louis is right on the border of Missouri and Illinois. And so a lot of people have been driving over to Illinois for a while to buy weed and then driving back to Missouri.

A lot of people have been driving over to Illinois for a while to buy weed and then driving back to Missouri. And Missouri apparently is making their prices significantly cheaper than Illinois' in order to get people. No, that's good. That could be good news. It's going to be quality over everything, though, I think. I think that's what will draw people in. And just a nicer buying experience. You've got to nail that down. You can't have people feeling intimidated. Because it's already

a thing for a new buyer who's coming across state lines where they're like, Amelia, is it okay to come in here? Is it safe to come in here? Because my whole life, every time I've ever done this before, it was scary. And I was worried about if I was about to go to jail, is it okay?

And then there's fucking Slick Rick over there with his 9mm with a goddamn compensator and a red dot on it. Like, bro, what are you worried about going down? At least put on a weed hat or something. So I know you're part of the game. Probably what it is. They're all cash, right? Or they can't use banks or something to that effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all cash.

But the cash isn't up front. They've usually got this really interesting system where the weed is coming through a hole in the wall or something. It's rare. In some places, they they got muscles of it up front you know like i bet it's just a federal require it's not a state a state requirement of it where it's like if you have this in colorado you must have security there as well you can hire a better like yeah sure whatever man they're just and if you read the reviews for those illinois

uh dispensaries like like it go to the one-star ones. I guarantee you'll find people who say the exact, they're like, the security guard was a jerk. He, like, made us feel intimidated. He was staring at us the whole time. Like, he followed us around. And there's nothing to steal in there, by the way. You're looking at, like, pictures of things and things behind, you know,

Pyrex or whatever and in glass. That's smart because it seems really like if you just put dime bags on shelves, people would probably be blind. If you want to smell something or handle something even, they'll absolutely grab you a tong of the weed and be like, yeah, smell it. They'll let you

handle anything and they'll grab anything out for you, but everything's over there. A weed person could use to everything's over there a weed person could use to like judge whether they like a weed me personally if it i do want to smell strongly but but i'm not gonna and i guess like most weed has sort of just this generic piney smell so if i did smell anything other than that and it was strong i would be intrigued i mean ah this like a man it's got some strawberry in it yes i do detect a little bit of something different here this might legitimately taste different because 90 of the time weed is weed is weed is weed like

i can't tell it's only with like vapes and stuff that they throw in some strawberry shortcake or whatever the fuck, which is probably not a good thing. You guys have more vape experience than me. Whenever I've tried it, I struggle not to cough and have a dry throat, and it just feels harsh. You gotta...

If you are coughing, take a smaller hit than you think you should. Take such a smaller hit than you think you should. Take such a small hit that it's barely coming out as vapor when you're exhaling. And you can do fucking 15 little hits instead of one big giant one and you won't cough. I cough. You'll need to take sips in between because your throat's going to get dry no matter what. That's just part of smoking anything.

Yeah, I cough a lot. Is it called a blunt? What's the one that you like wrap and it's not a blunt? A joint. A blunt. I think a blunt is in tobacco paper. It is. Yeah, a joint is in rolling paper. Alright, well,

I'll just say joint. I'm not sure it matters a ton, but if I did a joint, is that less harsh on that coffee part? No, a joint or a blunt is harsh on that coffee part? No. A joint or a blunt is going to be way worse. It's top three worst. It's top three worst ways to smoke. Blunt, way more coughs than a joint. And a joint is going to be way more than a vape.

The things that are going to make smoking harsh and make you cough are the temperature of the vapor that's coming in and any particulates that might be going into your lungs along with the smoke. Like how pure is this smoke slash vapor that you're, that you're intaking and what temperature is it at when it hits your throat and lungs, that's what's going to cause it to be uncomfortable, make you call. So the worst thing you could do is just wrap the weed up in some paper, get it 450 degrees and go,

right. That's hot as fuck. A bowl, a bowl is really hot too you've got a little glass um pipe right you're lighting it here and and it so i'm referring a bong a water bong is this soft is the gentlest most it is definitely getting there but but like so a water bong obviously it's gonna like percolate um through water and and hopefully ice i always filled those tall bitches up up with crushed

ice. It's going through. I want it cold when it hits my lungs, if possible. If you really wanted to go cough-free or as cough-free as you can get and do it in style, what you want is a Vol-Cat-able. The Volcano Vaporizer

is the Cadillac of vaporizers. It is about $500 or $600. It looks like a little volcano. It's shaped like one. And what you've got, you've got this, like, engine, we'll call it, the platform. And you take your ground marijuana. You put it in the little cartridge. You screw the top on.

You screw that onto the Volcano. And then you have this big bag, this plastic bag with a valve on it and you stick that on the top and you press go and it fills that bag up with perfectly uh temperature and woody it's like it's like a bag that big around and it's probably four five feet long you can buy some real as long as you want yeah like i wanted to make sure you didn't think it was a small bag it's a very big bag. It's a party bag. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, it sounds like too much for him.

It's just me. So here's the thing. It's very gentle. You can see the vapor, obviously, because it's a clear bag. You're like, huh, look at it in there. And it's got a valve on the end like an air hose. So you pull down, and you can... And then you release, and it closes the valve and use the bag once no well no the bags are usable well we're not gonna oh yeah the bags reuse over and over

but but you know like per smoking session you'd probably i mean you know there's a piece but you can pass it around and stuff at least the volcano my friend i remember new year's 2011 a friend of mine was like i got a volcano and so we went over there and we're like, yeah, we'll start out the night like smoking the volcano and then we'll do stuff. We got so fucking blitzed. We never did anything else other than just smoke the volcano. We were too high. And his had like like that front part. You could like the mouth nozzle that closed.

You could turn that off and remove it and put other mouthpieces on there like a party environment. Like you might put on a, on a drink or straws or something like that. But I, I didn't, I thought it, this was fucking 12 years ago. He's willing to share his smoke,

but not his herpes. Now my herpes. But I remember like really disliking the way it tasted as far as we go. Because at the, yes, burnt popcorn. I was going to ask if it still tastes like burnt popcorn because I do not like the burnt popcorn taste at all. And a friend of mine just literally bought a brand new volcano.

That's so funny. And I don't like it. I like flour out of a bong like a red-blooded American. Yeah. I still have a volcano. When the feds came and took every all my drug paraphernalia they were like yeah that's good that's uh because it's like a herb it's got herbal like vaporizing yeah you want to just ever just get fucked up on oregano

i think people put i think people use it like a hookah and maybe put tobacco and fruit in there? That's not ever happened. No one has ever ever put tobacco in a volcano. Have you seen the marketing volcano did? Even back in the day, they're like, it's not for weed.

I mean, I was using mine for weed back in the time. I think they did take the Kyle believes those things in my drawer are all muscle massagers too Wow Woody's back must be so jacked Look how big they all are He's vibrating hard I'm gonna bruise my palm with this one I don't like the vapes either.

Or not the vapes, the volcano, sorry. I was thinking of an idea for a movie that I would like to see. So this is the premise of the movie, okay? It's based in the Russian-Ukraine war right now, right? But the premise is that the reason things are going poorly um little does anyone know for the russians that is is that when they started like uh um digging up near chernobyl they awoke some sort of like radioactive monsters or something and in reality they've been contending with the radioactive monsters this whole time. And that's why the Ukrainians are doing so well, because the bulk of the Russian forces and their attention is on the radiation monsters up north.

And we just don't know about that because of media blackout. And even the U.S. is keeping it underground. Yeah. And the U.S. is sending a team in because the U.S. wants to get one of those Russian radiation monsters to do some testing. Right? So we're going to need to send a team in of Americans because nobody wants to

watch a movie about it. Where is this from? I missed the setup. Oh, I made this up. This is the movie I want to see. No, I'm tracking with you the whole way and I like this a lot. You just have to think about some certain like blind spots. Like if Russia found these critters, they would definitely bring it up on a global stage. There would have to be a reason plot wise that they couldn't reveal it.

Well, they're responsible for those. They don't want people to know they created radiation monsters. And they don't want to know that they're losing handily to the radiation monsters. Is there, you know, a nice, like, second act? Could be, like, they find some sort of allegiance, Putin and the head of the radiation monsters. Way ahead of you. Way ahead of you. Okay, go ahead.

Putin's colon cancer caused by the radiation monsters. He's on the front lines. He's on the front lines himself seeking the cure. He's got to kill the head radiation alien himself and eat its heart to cure his butthole cancer. And that cures your butthole cancer. Yes. It's the only thing that will. Okay.

There's a scene where he's on the horse shirtless. I'm back in. And we do that quote from the Bible about riding in on the pale horse and his name was death. And then Putin just clickety clop, clickety-clop clickety-clop that would be cool i barely think of that as the bible i mostly think of it as the beginning of

that johnny cash song yeah that was great what's that what's that uh johnny cash song that i said that they should be a montage down okay i'm gonna i'm looking that up so i can listen to it after the show i fucking love that so that song amps I can listen to it after the show. I fucking love that song. That song amps me up. I love this song. The voice in the midst of the four-piece was heard saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold, a pale horse. And his name that sat upon him was Death.

And hail followed with it. That's great. That's great. And then he sings a great song. Yeah. Johnny Cash was a great guy. What a true talent that guy was. Was he a great guy? He knew how to keep a woman in line. Okay? Dana White style. great song. Yeah. Johnny Cash was a great guy. What a true talent that guy was. Was he a great guy?

He knew how to keep a woman in line. Okay? Dana White style. All right? Yeah. He knew how to pull a lot of pussy, even though he had all that pockmarked, smallpox-looking face. Yeah.

That Edward James Olmos face. Yeah. He came up with his own singing style, since he couldn't sing very well and, and, and just made it work, you know, just a real American hero from beginning to end. A hundred percent. Yeah.

There's like, there's lots of ways to make music. I don't know that he beat women. I don't, I mean, yeah, it's like, did he wear shoes?

He was over the fifties, right? He never would have done that. Johnny Cash was a hero. Yeah. A hero of all. Everybody liked him. Only mouthy women in colors

as he would say well who was the other guy yes when she's getting out of line sometimes you have to correct them what does he sound like it's not that thick of an accent is it no it's not that down no it's more it's more

no it can be if you go back to like uh um um um Barbara Walters if you keep talking I'm going to rape you No, it's more topical. No, it can be. If you go back to The Rock. Barbara Walters, if you keep talking, I'm going to rape you. Say, welcome to The Rock. Welcome to The Rock. That's really close. Welcome to The Rock. I need to figure it out.

I think he says, gentlemen, welcome to The Rock, actually. Welcome to The Rock. Yeah, I like him because he's a guy who has the confidence to pee his pants consistently in public. That's Liam Neeson. That's Liam Neeson. Oh, that's Liam Neeson. I mixed up. Sean Connery, rest his soul, okay, was a gentleman, a scholar,

and a king amongst men, okay? He led his life. And certainly a king amongst women. His proud life as a good Scotsman and a great hero. I mean, how many times did he save the world as James Bond? I lost count. Have you ever felt a woman's cheekbone against your knuckle? Like that kind of thing would probably be what he would say, right?

It just crushes. And it just crushes. it just crushes yeah no it's too deep have you ever seen a woman's eyes light up in fear you'd have a whole thing about their bones or hollow like birds and how i could just thrash them about yeah i mean look look connery knew how to put a woman in line as well um it looks to me like nothing is going to happen to Dana White. All jokes aside, after the wife slapping thing, zero ramifications,

zero nothing, nothing. Seems like they're handling it in the family. The slapping contest he was going to put on, is it just delayed or is it canceled? As far as I know, it's premiering on the 18th. Oh, okay. DBS. He had a press conference, maybe today. delayed or is it canceled i as far as i know it's premiering on the 18th oh okay dbs um they you

know he had a press conference maybe today i saw it today and they were like you know what do you what do you say about the fact that you know all this happened and then next week you got the ultimate slapping championship debuting as you know some would say it's he's like well look sure it's ironic i see the irony yeah but you know what the fuck you gonna do um and they were like what about any kind of uh you know a punishment or he's like what are you gonna do to me right like i could have walked away from all this back in 20 uh 2016 you know whenever they sold and he had enough money to like be god essentially and that's basically what he said he basically said i've got more money than i can ever spend what are you

gonna do to me you're gonna i'm gonna take i'm gonna take a month away i'm gonna take two months away who's that gonna be good for for the fans for the shows for the fighters for my employees no you know i've always got air being on two-month vacation you know it's from afar dana always seems to be really valued by his bosses it used to be the ferreta ferreta brothers yeah and now it's some big corporation but it still seems like they put total faith in Dana and this didn't shake it. I'm sure they didn't like it, but I bet someone somewhere did a little bit of, uh,

maybe a test group or a little market research or something. And they asked, you know, their core group, maybe they hit up 40 people that are like, I don't know, male, 70,

80% male, whatever their UFC like viewership shifts, probably closer to 95% in that age group of 18-35 in this income bracket, you show them all the video and you're like, what do you think about this now? What do you think about

Dana White? What do you think about the UFC product? What do you think about the fact that in the past, he has himself said that you can't come back from this. Do you think maybe this is a different situation than what he was talking about then you hit that poll up you get those numbers back from that group and you walk away saying dana white runs the ufc let's let and and nobody who pays us money and buys our pay-per-views is gonna think the less of him because he slapped his wife back now dana Dana White himself is up there saying, stop defending me.

What I did is indefensible. Anybody defending me, stop that. On the other hand, anybody that wants to throw me under the bus, whether you work for me or not, fighters, say what you want to say. I'm all for freedom of speech. Look, I did it.

I was wrong. I did it and I was wrong. And I'm ashamed and I'll have to live with it my whole life. So say what you got to say. All of you. I'll take it. He did it. He did as well as he could do.

There are times I'm lacking specifics right now, but like Trump would say something in like or didn't think was right, but it was baked into the cake. Like everyone knew that when they voted for him. Oh, what a revolution. He didn't pay his taxes as much as he probably should have. Yeah, not a single person who voted for him changes their mind when that news breaks it was baked into the cake back to dana white oh did dana hit his wife yeah uh that's kind of who i figured he was now i know but i always assumed um i never thought of him as a sweet guy. He never ran on the lollipops and sugar trails platform. Dana's no fun to be with.

I don't think he beats his wife. I don't think that's a regular thing. He says it has never happened before. I would have a hard time believing that 100%. But I bet it's not a regular thing at all. I bet that's them a regular thing at all i bet you know i bet that's their them at their absolute worst getting getting really caught with their pants down and looking bad i agree i i wish i could change my phrasing but yeah to me to me dana white is that that thin

no wait a minute where are you going with this he's that he's that thick red line between the those fighters making too much goddamn money so that they don't have to come out and bleed for us and uh and the whole sport going like ass up right like he's the guy he's the guy holding it all together he's the guy that keeps bellator in their fucking place he's the guy that keeps pfl looking silly he's the guy who who gets the young talent recruits them starts from the ground up who puts development centers all over the world who runs huge shows that are always profitable who brings millions of dollars who bounces around the world who he's the guy who does all that shit and uh and he'll be like oh no this antonio he does the deals or oh

richie he's the one to talk to about that. It's like, you're the fucking boss. That's like Tony Soprano telling me to go talk to Silvio about something. What he's saying is, no, don't fuck with me. What he's saying is, no, don't fuck with me. So without him, I don't know where they'd be. The day that Dana White walks away from the UFC will be a dark day for the UFC. Maybe not for MMA. Who knows?

from the UFC will be a dark day for the UFC. Maybe not for MMA. Who knows? I mentioned PFL and Bellator because PFL is seemingly going to become the new number two. Bellator has been resting on their laurels for too long. Jake Paul signed with the PFL and you got Francis Ngannou looking like he might

slide over to the PFL. There's pictures of Francis and Francis' mom or his aunt or something in the background wearing a fucking PFL shirt. I took that to mean some PFL recruiters had been there that day. It was like, y'all want some shirts? It would be like if your kid decided to go to Alabama or Georgia, and then you saw all their little cousins are running around outside with Alabama hats. It's like, was Nick Saban here?

Has Nick Saban been here? I smell sulfur. I know that everyone wants their fighters to be rich. And look, I want that on one level. On the other, every time you put a fighter in silk sheets, he doesn't get out and run. It happens. The tale is old as time.

And then when you have like, I was a fan back when Pride and the UFC, like, you almost couldn't decide who was the better. It went by weight class. Like, UFC seems to be better at 170. Pride seems to be better at 205. And you're like, but I want to see them fight each other. And you rarely got that.

When you have two great leagues, you have a bunch of fighters who don't fight each other. In the UFC, they rarely protect fighters. Is this badass and this badass in the UFC? Make them fight. What did that guy Crow Cop start in? Because he was the first UFC fighter I ever saw. Can you picture those checkerboard shorts on him? I can picture his checkerboard.

I remember seeing his foot hit people's head and being like oh he's he's killed people like clearly with like his kicks were so hard and heavy early mma early mma had examples of world class practitioners of uh of kickboxing and uh and other uh other techniques going up against people who'd never blocked a kick before and so cro-cop could just head kick them and they're like i didn't know that was what you were saying cro-cop explained can i uh no yeah go go go go go so cro-cop had these big fucking thighs that they couldn't be natural he was so fucking strong and they're asking him like

you know how much better your left leg or your right leg and he goes right leg hospital left leg cemetery and like he's croatian that and he has that eastern european hairline which tells you he's for real like you know what i mean you know he's the guy right what do you mean the guy who actually was in the special forces yeah yeah he was like legit like whatever the croatian version that's the old story is like like when he like faced off against vanderlei silva i'm watching the highlight of that right now yeah yeah that's that's a great story that it that and the the Kumite story are two of my favorite MMA

lore type stories. Real quick, before you do the Kumite thing, watching because the screenshot right now, the video is showing Cro Cop and Sylvia, whatever his name is, and Wanderlei's

Sylvia is doing like that bounce up and down fight thing that fighters do and crow cop is a hundred percent static staring at him like if i wanted to i could kill you like that that level i assume crow cop wins this fight based on the way they're looking he does silva his nickname was the axe murderer and he just wrecked everyone at 205 and he was very scary when he won fights the other people were very injured and uh he's going up against a heavyweight though and doesn't work out for him nope a heavyweight who's killed men before oh my god dude i'm watching the highlights of this he kicks wanderlay silva so hard in the ribs that he has a visible bruise by the end of the round and then wanderlay

is talking to his thing and going it's kissing at him this guy rocks what a winner yeah i think brendan schwa beat crow cop am i wrong about that ah god i hope not i imagined because i saw crow cop being the first mma fighter i ever knew about means that he probably got started in like the mid to or like was big in the mid 2000s right like 2005 2006 like he's probably way too old to fight that other guy long before i watched mma yeah yeah mma to me back then was like my uncle mentioning vhs tapes and it all sounded very underground and almost like borderline illegal like it's a it was it sounded akin to like faces of death because i remember him talking about that classic one where the there's a black guy and he gets the other guy into a crucifix and he's able to deliver

uncontested elbows to the side of the guy's head rapidly. It is boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I remember my uncle describing that and being like, dear God. As a kid, I was like, that's not for me. I'm not old enough to watch that.

And meaning it. Thinking like, I don't want to see a man. I don't, that's not for me. I'm not old enough to watch something like that. And meaning it. Thinking like, I don't want to see a man. I don't see that happen to a man. That seems scary. That seems horrible. Sounded rough. Yeah, that's the early days of in general, just pride.

Pride had, you could kick people while they were down in the head. That's a good feature. So you'd knock somebody down, and then they'd fucking, every now and then, they'd kick somebody right in there in that middle ground between down and up, and that puts their head at like that. What I'm saying is they're able to extend their leg

fully into this fucking kick, and it's rough. But I think it should be in mixed martial arts. I think there should be some form of the of the of the soccer kick in the ufc like like i don't know exactly what the rule is but certainly they need to get past this one hand down bullshit that they're doing now this idea that if you put one hand down or or even two on the mat that you're now a grounded opponent and now i can't knee you or kick you in the head fuck you fuck you in your safe zone bullshit this ain't basketball you can't just cheat the rules as you go and like like like

clearly everybody knows what you're doing while they watch no it's a fist fight asshole i i hate that shit and they just need to enforce the rules correctly dude this kicking on the ground shit is unreal like i'm still watching the crow cop highlight he just is teeing up this poor guy on the ground like you it makes you not want to go down yeah this is is there is he known as one of the best kickers because his kicks look tremendous to me yes he is i'm trying to be like yeah but not as good as i have no one crow cops the kick. He kicked so high on this dude who was his height that he didn't hit him with his foot. He knocked him out with the bone on the side of his ankle on the top of his head. Like it looked almost like a miss until you saw the man die.

Like fall down into a crumpled mess, like a dead spider with all of his limbs wrapped up. This guy's awesome. I hope he's still fucking doing it for Croatia. Crow cop has a wasp from all of his like limbs wrapped up that this guy's awesome i hope he's still fucking has a loss just like that like maybe gonzalez crocop got knocked the fuck out with a kick and it's like whoa that guy kicks like you yeah i think i know what you're talking about i have seen that highlight because i remember seeing it and being like no it's just a fluke this guy i have no connection to who i enjoy is the best kid it is gonzaga yeah that video i liked which we can't show to everyone but it's only 12 seconds and it's schwab knocking out crow cop okay and you said schwab was never kind of like he wasn't

that i think i'm gonna make up numbers but i'm gonna say he peaked at like eighth best at heavy weight or something yeah you know okay that's eighth best at heavyweight or something. Yeah, you know, heavyweight. That's pretty solid then. Heavyweight's so weird, dude. Like once you get out of the top. All right. So right now it's a little spicy, right? Because you got that Russian cat, like that scary motherfucker from the like two cards back.

It's obviously a white guy. There's a Russian heavyweight that that was tremendous i can't remember who he knocked out maybe derrick lewis maybe it was like derrick lewis's last loss or maybe it was um um taya it was it was taya tuvasa's uh last loss that's who it was i i think of them kind of the same vein as like kind of big chubby guys that are hard to swing who just swing real hard yeah i think that guy's tremendous um and then i heard that um um derrick lewis was looking skinny i heard that he was looking really good did you see the picture i haven't seen it i'm not sure it's not shopped he looks derrick lewis is traditionally a guy who

like is 270 something pounds and he can't run and he's like he's a big old fat dude who's who's just out of shape he clearly needs to lose weight and like like get it under control to be a to be the best heavyweight could be so so i heard that and i think he's lost a couple in a row maybe i know he lost a really rough one at home in texas kind of i'm sure he was embarrassed by what did did wow yeah that i couldn't find it but thank you zach is that killing it tonight shouldn't go is he gonna be in dude he's looking like 205 yeah that's what people are saying i don't know if it's real but he looks great if it that's what that's him on fight night right that's peak derrick lewis. This guy's just training?

Derek Lewis is not a 6'4 man. If he's that skinny, he can fight at 205. If that's not shopped, that looks like 205. It looks like he's running around at, I don't know, 215, 220 there, tops. I worry I'm being fooled, but he does look good. I worry as well. Yeah, I don't know. It was a little blurry. You'd think he'd be flexing his six-pack or something on Instagram

instead of just randomly jogging in a blurry picture. Shit! Don't show me that! I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. So that's not even him. I can't read what Zach is telling me. I don't trust Amy Kaplan. Well, Amy Kaplan, it said UFC journalist, did it not?

Or something along those lines? She is. Is she one of those sports journalists that plays up the hype? Not a reliable insider source? I didn't say any of that. Oh, I don't fucking know who this person is. I just don't know if that's Derek Lewis, if he's skinny that's that's wild if he because it looks like he's lost 40 50 pounds there yeah didn't mention it yeah um that would make that's what we always wanted

somebody like daniel cormier to do someone's clearly walking around too heavy and fighting in a weight class too big for themselves and and winning and doing like a tremendous at it and it's like man you could be the greatest of all time if you could just keep the popeyes under control like literally you could be enough man uh yeah and kyle's right and and experts people who know much more than me like joe rogan are like oh he belongs at heavyweight and i'm like i just can't line up with the idea that that's pete cormier yeah i don't know about all that i mean you ever see

that picture of when uh they had the lady ghostbusters go to like do that make a wish shit so they went to the terminally ill ward of a children's hospital. I've seen this. In full Ghostbusters regalia, mind you. Now, what does a Ghostbuster do? Remind me that. They come around when you got a ghost, you know, a person's spirit is running around

a muck and somebody needs to zap it and trap it and contain it somewhere for a fee. And here they are at this children's hospital laughing it up. That big ugly, all them big ugly women with their

proton packs on. And if you look in the background, Zach, please tell me you're finding this picture. In the background, Zach, has to be that poor little black girl on the respirator. And I swear to God, her eyes are rolled back into her head.

There is a child on the brink of death in the back. And in the front is those goofy bitches fucking yucking it up with their proton packs. It is. I've, I've seen this photo because it's been panned on the internet a million times for being the most tone deaf thing ever posted to like a movie promo account it is literally the four of them standing there smiling giving their action poses and a

little girl with like some tragic cancer in the back like barely like not even keeping her eyes open because i guess the treatment's too demanding or something like it's they're like the children concerned that they're going to get them in the afterlife like they're all they're all just smiling and not reading the room and there's a little girl back there who i don't know if you're taking this in the room with a little girl maybe do it with the little girl instead of with this guy. This guy's not in the hospital. Take it with the girl.

They were like, no, her immune system is far too delicate for that. Keep your distance. Please, ladies. Why aren't you all wearing masks? This should have been enough to cancel the film. Milo Yiannopoulos roasted these women, but there he is on the left. There he is.

Oh, darling, I love to make the Ghostbusters film. That's a handsome man. Who is that? Who? Those are some ugly women. They are ugly. It looks like that poor little dying girl's brother got to hang

out with the Ghostbusters. He looked actually excited about it yeah those fucking ghostbusters not even taking the photo with the sick kid yeah yeah it's like what are you what are you doing you're just hanging out at the hospital like you should be prioritizing do you think they at least tagged the the little girl in the photo when they posted it i guarantee there's no way any child born in what 2005 at the time is like what no no no no this is 2005 you think this movie is 70 no no no no i said a child these are young kids like a kid born in 2005 he's like 14 during this like they don't know who bill murray is much less the ghostbusters. 15 minutes after that picture was taken, they captured the girl's spirit and put her in a box. I bet that's...

Now she's part of the franchise. Brittany, the Ghostbusters are coming to visit you. Please don't let them take me! Don't let them take me. Yeah, so next time, Ghostb a better tact a more tactful shoot find people willing to do it gender swapping the ghostbusters is is one of the it's embarrassing for everyone i mean ghostbusters 2 is an embarrassment as well by the way but but but um but but still that's just that movie looks awful. I consider myself usually not sensitive to woke stuff.

I can still enjoy a movie, but not that one. Yeah, not that one. I mean, I can't even get on board with those blue people because I know they're meant to be red people. They just color swapped them, bitches. They did color swap. You're pretty much right. That's pretty racist.

Yeah. It was that or green That's pretty racist. Yeah. Was that her green? It is racist. They should have hired Savage Americans for that role. Oh, I would love that. They should have made them green like the orcs. Then they could have hired that hot Savage American from Yellowstone and made her blue. That bitch can't take a punch, though.

She'd never survive as a Na'vi. Yeah. She's it. take a punch though she'd never survive as a navi yeah um she's it um uh jeremy renner who is in that cold river movie with her which i highly recommend to everybody cold river if you've never seen it jeremy renner and uh and scarlet witch uh elizabeth olsen and the super hot chick from yellowstone are all in it and uh and you know how like matt damon is like surprise surprise in uh like interchange like he's like coming out of the capsule. You don't know he's coming. They have a similar star

that pops up three-quarter, maybe 80-90% through Cold River. It's like, what are you doing here? It's one of those. What's the genre? Is it drama? Is it action? I would say it's action drama.

Again, there's a murder on the reservation i'd prefer a drama movie to an action movie at this definitely not action as in like like the sort of like schlocky action it's an investigation with like some real like sad moments like you know there's crying parents because there's dead children and and if there's like if there's violence with like real stakes i'm not saying like that kind of action is bad like a band of brothers good example the violence always felt very high stakes now i've only watched a couple marvel movies but seeing as how i'm not a child any violence in a marvel film there's no one at threat no one's going to die if they do die there's a rape scene in Cold River. Cold River is an

adult movie. It is... I want everybody to see it because it's so good and it flew under the radar I thought. I didn't know about it. I mean, I've talked about it a bunch of times. Cold River. I'm going to write that down. Poor Jeremy Renner, though. Thoughts and prayers for him, legitimately,

because they're saying that if he does keep the leg, he may never walk again. Anyway, his leg is so severely damaged from the snowcat accident. What was happening? How do you get like, like snuck up on?

Here's the thing, Taylor, imagine that you and I are on vacation somewhere and we've got ourselves a snowcat or two and maybe something or another happens and my leg gets crushed and crippled and technically it was kind of your fault because you're goofing around yeah i'm not gonna tell the world that dude what's the fucking point exactly yeah because then i'm going to jail i'm gonna dick cheney this thing yes you could shoot me in the face later for fun that exactly exactly that yes

and you'll apologize to me for it yeah dude i don't know what was going on with that dick cheney shit but that dude got shot in the face and with bruises on his face and holes got on the news and was like i'm sorry mr chene, for putting my big fat retard head in the way of your pristine shot. Like when that kind of thing happens, like imagine if we saw a public figure in Russia come out and go, Putin, I am so sorry you shot me on accident. I accidentally mess up. It is entirely on me. All of this media going after Putin is wrong. I'm sorry for tripping over your foot and falling down the stairs, sir.

So, so sorry. Your boots, your fine, fine Russian made boots. Like that's what it would be. It'd be crazy. Yeah. Beautiful. Dick Cheney was a powerful man at that time Before we wrap

I just If you ever want to Work on accents You are welcome to join me and my friends In Age of Empires 2 Where you will only pick You are only allowed to communicate In an accent of the civilization

That you have chosen So if you are trying you can do it you know and because it is fun I will suggest you pick Hindustani as well there's a couple Indian civs and so me and my buddy he can't really do the voice but he was like

are you like he can't really do the voice but like we made it because we were allied against and he picked an Indian civ and I did and so I'd be like, brother, are you ready to attack the F-1? And he'd be like, that is not what I am trying to do. Because he can't really do

the voice. And so I'm like, are you a spy? You do not sound Indian. I do not trust you. Is there a Russian civilization? There is. There's this they're called the Slavs and they actually have the Ukraine emblem Is there a Russian civilization? There is. That was an easy fallback. There's this... They're called the Slavs,

and they actually have the Ukraine emblem on them. The Slavs, they're a pretty solid infantry civ. I think they're fun. So if you are looking for practice, it is a wonderful way. Okay. All right. PKA, 630.

I just want to keep doing Indian culture.