Painkiller Already - PKA 631 w/ Harley: New Youtube Boxing Fight, Taylors Lifelong Deformity, Failed Pepsi Challenge

Episode Date: January 21, 2023

P.K.A. 631 with Harley Taylor. This episode of P.K.A. brought to you by Lock and Load, the finest cum pill supplement on the market. You had to use bad words six seconds into the thing? Bad words. Which one? Cum? Yeah.

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them later also brought to you by death by gummy bears rebranded as the real dbg.com real dbg sorry not the real real dbg.com that's linked below you'll hear more about them and their exciting new offerings later harley thank you for joining us tonight you You're looking fit as hell. Hell yeah. I'm going to be boxing again. Are you? Yeah. I took another fight. Who are you fighting? I'm not allowed to say.

I tried. Trust me. I tried to get the exclusive, but it gets announced a couple days after. But they're very muscular and athletic. Tell me. I want to Google this picture. They can back. Oh, you want me to tell you?

Privately? Yes. Privately? Okay. okay i could do that where do i put that and no one's gonna see it on the right yeah no one's gonna see it never yeah yeah 100 oh this area right here where kyle is yeah and we're 50 times this must be it's gonna say that's a copy pasta it's don't don't yeah say twitter.com slash home it's gonna say what's happening next to your avatar type of person oh wow yeah that's exciting i'm not gonna overreact or anything because i want to don't want to give any clues but that's awesome man yeah it is uh it is listen um It is, listen, I did that last fight, and I realized that I didn't have to claw my way to any victory, and I watched the other people. Some of them really had a fight. And I know what it's like.

People backstage, they were crying and stuff. Some of them were crying. Some of the guys won't say who. They just started bursting out in tears, and it was weird. the guys won't say who they just like started bursting out in tears and it was weird youtubers are not really uh meant to be doing combat sports and at creator clash one a lot of the youtubers um they did the combat sport and this is what i liked about creator clash was they didn't like fully commit to cosplaying as a boxer as a lot of youtubers you know sometimes youtubers i've done this before you were like i'm a youtuber well then i'm also a rapper yeah i'm also an author i'm everything

yeah so sometimes like youtubers will cosplay as something instead of recognizing that they are a youtuber doing a thing i want to think a lot of the guys at creator clash uh you know we're we me too like you know we're nerdy guys maybe you know we're not predators that sniff out blood and you know um so i think they were really shocked at how taxing it really can be mentally to go even just five two minute rounds um getting punched in the face uh yeah mentally and so some of them were crying Were there winners crying or just losers crying? No, a winner cried. I saw a loser get very angry, and I went up to him, and I was like,

hey, man, you went in there and you did it, and that was really valuable. And the winning wasn't even really the point. He was like, shut up. Fuck. He was like kind of angry. Yeah, he was like angry. Dude, I get that guy, though. That guy just, like like amped himself up to

be in a fight and he lost like he needs a little bit of time to be like god fucking damn it wasn't a dancing competition no offense woody but if you'd lost that you probably wouldn't have cried yeah you don't like go home to people bruised after the yeah like if you'd lost the dancing competition you don't go home to jack and you're like you still think of me the same right but if you get beat up if you get beat up and like she was watching you might be like just so you know i could have taken him five years you're like tony soprano all of a sudden you know if that rug wasn't there and after my surgery like you're making shit up all of a sudden like you don't want to lose a fight in front of people no that's what i was getting to why i challenged dr disrespect because i did want to

lose a fight in front of people and i was like who would be suitable to come and beat me up in front of everyone who's gonna fuck what am i gonna who am i gonna who am i gonna who well if someone came in here and beat me up like they gotta be a specimen i disagree i disagree i think you're onto something but i think dr disrespect's the wrong way like like first of all i shouldn't be talking because i'm literally not throwing my head into the ring i don't want anybody beating me up i don't want that but i'm a sideline if i was gonna get beaten by somebody man if it were just like a half of a professional athlete that'd be such a good excuse to fall back on right but if the doc

beats you up it's like yeah he's just a gamer everything it's a gamer and a wig yeah what makes you think what makes you think you couldn't take him he's never done a boxing match you've got now that we're now we're this far away from me calling him out there was two elements to that call out one um was i realized that like you know if he did beat me but this was like an ex d1 athlete so cardio and breath work is something that's difficult for a lot of people he's already got that two he's taller than me so like he will have the reach um and that's really valuable in boxing but then the other parts were like i don't think he's gonna do it like my club's not up this isn't 2014 sauce boss calling him out it's like 2023 so like it doesn't really hit the same and i recognize that so i'm

like he probably won't even uh respond he did he's like i won't so that was that but i did i did like the idea of the doc like beating the shit out of me in front of like tens of thousands of people. And that's, I'm like, that's something I could jerk off to later. Me too. God,

for real, for real. You're like, you're just an entertainer at heart. You're fine. You can also jerk off to that. Absolutely. I could jerk off.

I have a true. I can, I can, if I respect someone enough, I can masturbate to that. I respect Harley. I mean, I could theoretically a third time today would be rough but i'm so comfortable with my sexuality i'm so comfortable with my sexuality

i can literally jerk off a nut to sucking you off woody and and that's not gay at all or in the slightest bit and i'm just comfortable and i recognize it's like a mere thought it's just a thought a thought of course everyone thinks about that kind of stuff constantly. Do you know what's interesting about 2023? Real side note before I get back to the boxing thing. What's really interesting about 2023 is like in this day and age, you could be like, yo, guys, I suck the dick. Didn't like it.

I'm not gay. And everyone will be like, he's not gay. He knows he's not gay. He's not a gay man. That's true. He knows he's not gay when i grew up if i was like suck the dick turned out i didn't like them like you suck the dick even if you were like even if you were like yo i actually touched that guy's dick behind me uh he bumped into me in my the back of my nuts everyone's like gay gay gay gay gay dude but like now it's like came recognize it's totally different now you're

back up what you're saying like 10 12 years ago and he was like gay sex doesn't make you gay and we're like what huh gay sex is exactly what makes you gay once you do it you're branded gay forever you can't undo it prisons aren't full of gay guys if it's seven years old you touch penises with your best friend you are permanently gay now i know tell your wife tell your kids you're gay you can't undo this nowadays like you said exactly it's like the desire to have sex with men that makes you gay not having had sex with men honestly not even not even desire to have sex with men i don't even think so you know why i'm gonna get crazy right

here i know there's some fat fuck pka fan who's listening right now who's like me he's wrong and that guy's probably actually gay but the truth is i think you're gay fans it really comes down to this not anymore trust me i've been looking at all their ankles all skinny ankles everybody look um i'll tell you right now. Why are you making that face, Woody? I don't understand why you're looking at their ankles. I'm very confused. Because that's what you say.

You said if your ankle was thick, that means that you're about to become fat or you're like a fat person. You check the ankles out first. You don't remember saying that? Free fat. Yeah. Remember that now? Yeah. Don't make me do this, Woody.

Woody has a blood house. Not today when I'm in the middleody coming out on the podcast i'm sorry carry on you're only gay if you love a man wait loving a man makes you gay yeah oh i don't think so first of all that's the hilarious clip wait loving a man makes you gay i think you can love guys and not be gay it's lusting guys that makes you gay yeah because like you love your dad no no lusting guys this is gonna sound like i do this all the time i want everyone to know i've never had cases. Not that it matters. But like you can lust for things and it like really doesn't mean anything. You can lust for a thousand gummy bears in a freezer Ziploc bag with mayonnaise warmed up in the microwave for four seconds. You could lust for that. You could lust.

You could lust for like a fake, fake little pop pocket pussy type thing that looks like it's from an alien the lust is not impactful actually what's impactful what's you're using well you're right but hear me out hear me out i could i could like catch me on the right day on the right day the right the right cocktail of drugs yeah you could suck me off woody hell yeah and that wouldn't even be gay what's gay to me is if i lay down in bed with you each of us on our pillow face to face and i was like or you said like i love you yeah and i was like i love you what are you thinking about dude this is really again that's that's actual that's being homosexual that's when you are in love with a man everything

else bro we're animals man we could fuck uh we're fucking men bro we could fuck uh the hole in one at the golf course we could fuck whatever we want just all waiting me over gosh jordan in some ways having sex with men seems more manly yeah i mean there's a whole there's a whole segment cut from my last year's documentary that i did with sam where i'm like extensively talking about like how i wasn't really mad enough to come here and and fight with him in the parking lots right away i was like but i am mad enough to fuck him and i bet you he's not mad enough to fuck me which i don't know maybe he is but i was like that would be the most manliest thing someone can do is like fuck a person and be like i don't even have feelings bro all you were that's the epitome of manhood bag of fucking gummy bears to me the epitome of manhood

is harley forcing sam i to blow him like that no no no no no i was 69 his ass has got to smell awful like just from the photos he posts online of himself he seems like a sweaty man that wouldn't be that'd be hard to be gay man well i was actually really caught up with his smell when i when i first met up with him i was really like i was like what's he gonna smell like and i'm back in the day then the 90s someone would be like what are you gay and i'd be like why because i want to know what a man smells like that's not gay it's gay if you want to love love them yeah it's it would be gay if like you smelled him and it like made you want to have sex with him definitely think the desire to fuck a guy is is yeah the way taylor said it did make

it sound like more to what your point was woody say that again oh i'm sorry go on man like if you smell a man and it makes you want to fuck them, yeah, I'll accept that as gay too. Wanting to, lusting after a man. Because if you're gay and you see a nice, sexy piece of ass, a nice male ass at the grocery store, you don't have to be like, oh, I want to be his friend and then develop that into love. And then I'm going to meet his parents.

And then we're going to go on an Aruba vacation. That gay guy doesn't have to do that to be gay he just has to look over and go hell yeah man nice that's the point is the point is i think we were a little quick to pull the trigger on what was gay and what wasn't you know how many times i've been out there tugging tugging myself watching a great video and it's just like you know it's just someone like slamming someone else and then the angle changes and that other person has a dick and i'm like wish i didn't see that but i ain't gonna stop now yeah already into the video and i'm not going back on the hunt it's not bitter that bigger than mine like let's wrap this up real quick you just scroll up just

like hide the bottom part of the video player. You guys had that. Is this weird? It might be weird now because I'm talking about a specific person, but you had that sexy person on once. Kyle was vibing with him a bit. I was watching that peak yet. I don't watch every peak.

We're talking about Finster. And I was like, hey, Robby, though. He's been on a couple times. Finster is a gentleman, yeah. Finster is a real interesting example of like, I don't know, the new workforce. That's what I...

You know? Millennials. They ruin sexuality. Here's a straight, cis man, regular looking dude, like a bro who plays minecraft like right had been doing it for years just a minecraft bro and somebody was like bro you're looking kind of cute man how much would it take for you to throw a little dress on and it was like shit man

i made like eight thousand dollars today wearing that dress maybe maybe tomorrow maybe tomorrow we pop the dress back on again maybe we're gonna do some pretty streams every uh day forever now this is the new that's what it became then got sissy hypnoed by the fucking um uh the donuts by the almighty yeah yeah no i like finn a lot how jewish of him yeah yeah very jewish jewish of him to change the core of his very being for a couple bucks a couple hundred thousand million bucks maybe like somebody was trying to offer him like i don't know three three hundred grand or something to get the breast implants but when you think about it it's just not enough money i guess when you're already like doing really well um being half a girl or or whatever he is not at all you remember he got the money anyway yeah but being half a girl he's not

half a girl wait that guy's not gay no no no he's got a girlfriend he's not half a girl wait that guy's not gay no no no no he's got a girlfriend he's not even interested not even interested anymore yeah i flirted with him and he said woody you're married yeah you can't hit it back bro all right come on just friends have fun you know it's so funny like i'll see like random pics of finster pop up on like just any forum you go to like there will be like if you go to like poll on 4chan or whatever like he was saying he mentioned on the show that i went over to poll this is a couple weeks ago now but there was literally exactly what he said a picture of him in a thread like and then the captions just like you're gay if you wouldn't like or something like that and it's like and then there's like people arguing in the comments like it's a dude i swear it's a dude and they're like no it's not it's not a dude he can't be or she can't be a

dude it's too hot and so yeah and it's I remember like I remember the first time I found Finster or not I guess found like yeah I think he donated to me or something we were typing slowly with your left hand if I recall fucking what is it when you can when you can only type what it would be ambidextrous

if you could use either as well as the other yeah it's a sex addict It would be ambidextrous if you could use either as well as the other. Yeah. It's a sex addict. Disgusting piece of shit. That's what the doctor keeps saying. No. He donated or maybe rated me.

That's what it was. He rated me with 3,000 or 4,000 people or something. They were like, yeah, it's Finster. She's really hot. Check her out. I click and I was like, oh, that is a really hot person. They immediately are like, it's dude. I was like, oh, okay.

I didn't understand. I thought it was a trans person. I was being so careful not to call this woman a man on Twitch because i know how twitch is like like it's like shit there's like four or five thousand people watching live let's let's try not to uh like dead name the person who sent them or whatever the fuck that's actually

funny though that they try that's exactly what i was talking about they're trying to be like gotcha you're gay yeah i just ignored why why bro why we had i thought that was a hot girl exactly yeah we had fenced around last month that's what i said i was like yeah yeah y'all look at him dude is hot like we all know dude is hot and those of you who don't think that dude is hot are fucking liars and you're so and you're you're that guy that i went to school with that would yell faggot at the artistic kid when he walked away down the hall. Like, Jesus Christ. I mean, I think every straight guy can admit that Finn is very attractive.

I pulled up this athlete that I actually am very inspired by. Okay. This athlete, and I think it's relevant because I guess having sex with this person would make you straight. Is that a woman? Does that person have a vagina? Yes, born and everything. What is their fucking juice regimen?

How much gear are they on? How do they identify? I don't want to misgender them. It says women's bodybuilding. This is like literally an IFBB female pro. we have gotten to the realm where the female pros i guess technology has gotten to a place where fucking some of these females can come in and roll on some of these dudes yeah she has way more tea than i do i'm sure that's a lady that's a lady right there yeah yeah so you can just do any uh supplement or not supplements any gear you want for

bodybuilding right unless it's a natural yeah well if you want us if you want us to care about it you'll do gear i like that she misspelled motivation dumb woman yeah you tell her that to her face that's how you can tell it's a girl she's gonna be out of breath after the first block like there's no way she's got any cardio she flexes too hard she goes unconscious like what's her blood pressure at there's no that's not dangerous i would like to hear derrick has derrick covered that lady i'm gonna send that picture to him um later and and see if he's seen that and if he's in a thumbnail i'm absolutely clicking it because i don't know like i know that like what some of the side effects of women doing lots of tea can be but i don't know what the long-term like effects are going to be for we talk about the

clitoral growth that sounds like everything calls cancer i think i think yeah the clitoral growth i feel like boys i feel like testosterone is not even the thing that's like even the big deal i feel like it is she's probably taking a million things that are going to make her just that could make someone drop dead like even before you really take it a lot oh no for sure for sure she is but then she's got to be taking a lot of other stuff that are probably uh just like more dangerous than like uh taking however much testosterone would be too much do you know what i mean like i feel like there's a lot like you look at liberate king was taking a quarter million dollars a year in steroids well that's crazy he wasn't taking that's because some of the stuff he was getting everything pharmaceutically right a lot of people use underground labs i that lady probably is um

because like what doctor is prescribing her testosterone? You know what I mean? A cool one? A real rad doc. Dr. Muscles is in the house! He's like, er, er. And he's like, sirens and stuff. A terrified dentist. I'll give you whatever you want, please.

Put me down. I can't keep it It's like when poor Robert Patrick's ordering all that stuff In the Sopranos for his store I can't keep, at some point they're gonna know it's fraud Who polices doctors for their prescriptions? A lot of them get away with it If you're a podiatrist just prescribing tea Out the wazoo of them get away with it i wouldn't like your podiatrist just prescribing tea out the wazoo can you get away with that listen to this on that level of what you can

get away with apparently there was a doctor in a particular state um uh for a particular amount of money not that i know listen i'm fucking weird i've been i got vaccinated and then boosted like five times so i'm not talking about me i'm fucking government bootlicker over here um but for a couple bucks you could uh pay this guy because you would go to the u.s and if you wanted to go back to canada yet to prove that you tested for covid and if you did get if you were covid positive you would uh be held for uh two weeks and you'd have to pay for your hotel or whatever before you can you know what i mean yeah um so this guy would just like uh you'd go in and for like 75 or 100 bucks per person this guy allegedly would just like write you up that you tested and you were positive and apparently he had made like over 800k in the span of six months just signing these papers off for someone damn and all i thought about also i was like no one's gonna like that means that he

he cost a marriott tens of millions yeah right so fuck you marriott that's what it was it was a personal vendetta against the marriott yeah fuck man we we roll with if you're going to stay at a hilton for two weeks la quinta only bro out here we keep it la quinta you've got to have your like your hand on the wheel when those moments come like i remember that that guy who who sold like millions of those trayvon martin pistol targets right after the shooting and he made a fortune because it was such a politicized thing you know there's that photo of trayvon with the hoodie all like they darken him up two or three shades to make him look the way he's supposed to because you know they got to go

back from the lightened up angel version they almost put a halo on it and they put a fucking they put it's just him with like a 10 spot ring you know like like like like a dark the first photos on the news of that story I remember being like god that kid is this kid eight

like they shot an eight year old Puerto Rican those sons of bitches but uh jesus christ yeah that's not even the one i'm thinking of the uh yeah the target thing people get rich off of tasteless boorish nonsense like how many people got to be multi-multi millionaires by selling pro and anti-Trump stuff at the same time? Tons of people. The Proud Boys guy does that. I saw in that Andrew Cowell.

I saw that, too. Yeah, I saw that, too. You've got to watch that documentary. He goes and hangs out with the guy who runs the Proud Boys. And he's got the big t-shirt machine, like the fancy one. And he's like, I'm not going to say that I make anti-Trump stuff too, but hey, look, you got to pay the bills. You know what I mean?

And whatever sells, sells. And it's like, dude, that's how you do it. That's what the US government's been doing. Let's look at who's the best at making money. It's our government. They blow things up and then they rebuild it, right? Like you got to get that kind of grind. With money they take from us or they'll put us in jail. With money they take from us or they'll put us in jail.

With money they take from us or they'll put us in jail. Yeah. It's kind of a, damn, they are better at it than us. Fuck. Yes, they're better at it than anyone. See, the thing that helps them so much is that they have an army. Well, almost anyone. Jesus.

I was slow to get that What he's been on It's okay Harley I was wondering when we'd get there By the way I was thinking You need to throw some If I were a member of the tribe I would seriously have like

Some stuff behind me Indicative of that Not like I don't need the four stars guys you're wearing like a thing on my arm right i don't have any tattoos i don't have any tattoos but one i saw once i thought looked slick have you ever seen knock around guys with vin diesel he plays a half he plays the half italian half jewish like tough guy. And he's got a pizza bagel. He's got a star of David.

He's got a star of David. Pizza bagel. Wow. That's perfect. That's so fucking perfect. Pizza bagel. I don't see the Italian part of this. I just see the italian part of this i just see the the jewish star well there's no like jewish

part of the tattoo oh i thought you meant it was like a fusion tattoo no he's just got a star that looks like he just has the star of david yeah he looks pretty tough in that yeah he's kind of flexing though yeah he's flexing that's his angle and he's also standing on an apple box yeah that man that man across from him is legitimate large man if you remember he's flexing that's his angle and he's also standing on an apple box yeah that man that man across from him is legitimate large man if you remember he's the guy who shoves uh poor um jim carrey into that bathroom stall for that for that mouth fucking um and uh and uh yeah that's a good movie though i don't know why this is actually if you want knock around guys this might ruin vin diesel scenes for you but the next time

you catch vin diesel in movies and like he's standing with other people and they're all the same height look where his arms end they'll usually have him cross his arms or do something but there are times where his arms are there and he's like they're all the same height but his arms are like up there because he's standing on something yeah is he is he not is he short yeah he's shorter than most of his co-stars he has movies with like other giant dudes like the ride i think he's five seven he's like the only celebrity i've ever looked them up and their height is not listed in that little side wikipedia thing first time that's ever happened you sneaky beevin god bless him love him when we filmed with

arnold schwarzenegger he wouldn't uh we needed it for something uh they wouldn't inform us of his height and weight and i was like oh yeah like some of these guys like value that um you oh come on you value that you step on a plane and you measure everybody up you're like all right we're good it's green code green remember things we said for previous shows harley i wouldn't care about the height thing but i wouldn't i wouldn't want my weight public you know i mean i'd like i mean let's keep it floating at least so i've got a shot someday actually i would just i would just make my stats public the way like tom cruise and vin diesel do it'd be like yeah i'm six five eighty pounds i've actually known i've been doing

an aluminum rod i've been saying mid-30s lately people ask my age i'm like mid-30s for some reason 37 hits really hard and like and like 35 like i'm like kind of like covid took those years for me so i kind of want to still be like bro i'm still 35 dude you're doing it wrong you get it backwards just gotta be 40 for like the last 10 years 50 right and then they're pushing 50 yeah all right maybe i'll be hard though i'm like four weeks away now but except like i've been saying it for years oh hang on you're about to do you have anything planned for the big uh 50th life anniversary no no good good i don't believe in celebrating birthdays i think it's horse shit it's it's silly thing didn't they start doing birthdays

because the birth rate was so low that like i mean not low but like uh the survival rate was so low that it was like a huge deal that you'd made it to two and then three it was like oh look at johnny he might make it to seven you're gonna read one day boy like i think it was i think that was the deal but like at this point most of us make it at this point all of us are gonna keep making it unless we do something stupid so i think i'll stop counting there's no way it's interesting i'm convincing i die based on decision making yeah that's what birthday parties are about, Taylor. Come on, I just wrote that bit of history for you. Now... I can't disprove it, but... No, you can't.

No, I can't. Birthday parties are fun. I'm sure if Zach Googles enough, he could find something that supports it, just like I did with all that Holocaust stuff. Yeah. Dude, you can just keep Googling and Googling and Googling, and then sometimes... And if you don't find it, you just make it up you know i i you'll find it i had a lot of uh exposure to um chinese culture

over the last couple years more than i did before and what i found was funny where some of the differences like when you turn 13 as a jew they're like you get your bar mitzvah and they're like, well, you're a man now. Get to work. I noticed in Chinese culture, 100 days is the celebration. At 100 days, they're like, yep, you did it. Get your ass out there now.

Make us proud. 100 days old? 100 days, get your ass out there. It's like American presidents. Contribute. You did it. Make something happen right there there i've heard all these different landmarks but none of them match up with my family right some people say 13 years old 100 days i've never heard of i've heard people saying you're a man when you hit puberty growing up it was always when you're financially independent

when you're financially independent that's what makes you not even i'm financially independent and i'm still like fucking eating cereal at 4 a.m playing modern warfare 2 and i'm like this can't be being a man really can't be it you say that you say that like that's any different than like some people that would consider like the manliest men like like lois and clark on that fucking adventure out west mapping the fucking continent you don't think one night they stayed up late and played chess while they had some brandy it's the same fucking thing you're just as manly if you stay up late play some goddamn video games that sounds so much manlier than modern warfare 2 and 0 brandy and chess with your homeboy clark well those savages died poorly today didn didn't they, old boy? Oh, yes, they screamed like babes. Oh, many of them were, babes.

Oh, good year, good year. You know how you know Brandy is classy? Bring the squaw around for another jolly. Another funny thing about the... Oh, you said Brandy's classy because it tastes like shit. Yeah. Brandy's. Have you ever had Brandy?

I've only had it once. So I'm judging an entire class of beverages. So am I. I like. So whatever Grand Marnier is, I've always enjoyed that for like sipping. I remember my I used to think it was classy when I was 19. I had that like 25 year old roommate who was a barback, and he was Polish, and he would sip that shit and make a whole show of it,

like swirling it in the glass. You're like, ah, yes, me too. Yes. What's a barback? Swishing your 40. I don't know exactly what he did. It seemed like he just drank a lot. I think that's what a barback does because he was a full-time

alcoholic that is common in that industry but yeah woody a bar back like a running back except for he drinks he tackles unruly customers he just yeah he just like picks up like empty glasses so like the bartender doesn't the bartender just takes all the orders and the bar back will be like oh your cup's empty you're you're done with your your fucking potato skins he's the assistant bartender no assistant to the bartender another thing that i noticed about chinese culture that was uh pretty interesting was i started seeing this chinese doctor um here and there yeah like extra from like different from my real doctor so when you said you're seeing the doctor you're not fucking her that was my assumption it was him so yes oh long way

i was interesting i i uh would get an appointment and when i first met him barely spoken there she made me stick my tongue out and i stuck it out and he was like and then like literally he did that he did that and he would like at things he would like touch me he would like touch me like on my he would touch me like on my foot and I'd be like ow

no I think it's because I have a topographical tongue. It's like bumpy and stuff? It's like, it looks like, I don't want to stick it out because that doctor's made me self-conscious. No, I won't. I've got cotton. Also, so did Sam.

I stuck it out for Sam. I told him this story. He's like, let me see your tongue. I stuck it out. And he's like, that's disgusting, that tongue. What? Is it coated with like a yellow bacteria or something no not at all it's perfect the color is fine it's just like it's one of those

tongues that are not smooth like it has like like it has like uh cracks on it it looks like the dry land in the desert i've never seen a tongue i don't like show me oh so your tongue's like the beginning of a conditioner commercial oh oh god it's looking kind of great guys it's not that great normally harley i've been eating sand yeah it looks like a fairly standard human tongue but it's not gay maybe those little extra papillae on your tongue results from the loss of tiny hair like projections that's it yeah that's my no no take that away please i'm begging you oh yeah good effort like you licked a cold

pole kyle's making me feel bad now kyle's making no your tongue was fine my tongue looks similar to your tongue sometimes mine's got i got coffee tongue right now it looks like i've been eating doo-doo but like i want to hear about woody's pc debacle because i know you don't know this harley but but so i've been gaming tarkov wiped i know you don't play that stupid game i see you playing kyle a lot hope you're having fun with that uh but woody has been wanting to join us on the tarkov wipe and it's a real time sensitive thing as you can imagine the game's reset his fucking pc has been melted down for three weeks now like one thing after another he just got it back from the pc repair shop today i was shocked when you sent me that photo you had the pc in the back seat and you

didn't buckle her up did you buckle up the computer yes i did actually reach back when i went to stoplight sometimes i would have buckled it up i buckle things up all the time i'm wild for that i guess the first time i i break i would like it's the law i know that there was an interim status report where the guy's like your gpu is broken your this is broken your other your power supply is broken all these things are broken that made it look like i took it to somebody who wasn't very good but but when it's all said and done, I'm kind of happy. Now I still question exactly what happened, but he's like,

your power supply is bad. And when you told me that GPU was brand new, I started plugging it in other computers and it didn't work in those until I got a 1200 watt power supply. Now it's a 40 80, which is power hungry, but I would have guessed it would have worked with the lesser power supplies anyway apparently not so once he put a 1200 watt power supply in there the gpu works the motherboard

works the ram works everything started working just fine so my theory as to what really happened on the original computer is the gpu went bad and then I upgraded GPUs because I'm not smart. And I needed to correspondingly upgrade the power supply. Wait, why was that not smart to upgrade your GPU? Because the new one required a bigger power supply, which I didn't upgrade along with the GPU. Oh, okay, because you didn't upgrade the power supply too. And then I ran into all sorts of other problems along the way.

I wasn't able to diagnose it myself. I took it to a guy. It seemed like he put 12 hours into the thing and he would tell me he's like this thing kicked my ass it was really hard to get this going and to fix it and you know when i told you're like yeah yeah what's the damage i'm sure it was so hard so he charged me 175 for the labor which didn't seem outrageous to me knowing how many different days i got specialized and i think that's good to get your computer back to life yeah and 200 for the 1200 watt power supply so all together 375 and your computer's working yeah you're on yeah it's in the kitchen right now

but uh oh the thing is i got it an hour ago and i was like i could try to get everything cooking before the show or i could just play it safe which is what i did and do it later the photo you sent still not plugged in what he sent us a photo plugged it in at the shop and i saw it boot i'm sorry you're not playing tarkov kyle fuck this old retard bro i'm ready bro i've been training in modern warfare dmz bro i've been playing with foot pedals this whole time i brought it home like an hour and 15 minutes ago i had to call my dad it's his birthday and i had to uh eat dinner before the show and i was like i just it's a lot to get done before the picture you sent us of you like smiling in the car looked like you

were so happy like just like what he sent is a photo of him like driving and the picture of him driving with the the computer in the back and like it's one of those smiles where like his eyes are like lit up as well you can tell it's not fake and you literally looked like someone who won like a radio contest but no it's you just like at like all right day 28 maybe i can play that game that's already you know way too far past everyone else's level 20 to 40. you said your dad you called him to wish him happy birthday does your like does he say i love you do you say i love you to him and does he say i love you back thank you love you halfway i said i loved

him and he didn't return it okay no no i want i have that in my family too not with my dad but my grandfather what did he say anything did he say like i appreciate that son i good luck in your endeavors this i think he said it was it was as we were saying goodbye so i was like i love you dad bye and he's like bye yeah no this happened keep it real son i literally i say to my grab i'll be like he'll call i'll call him i'll be like yeah he's like okay and i'm like okay love you and he's like yeah bye and i'm like i think it's hard for him and i think it's hard for me too i think he cringes really when i say it to him what are y'all afraid of no no i think it's hard for me too I think he cringes really when I say it to him what are y'all afraid of no no I think it's a generation I think it's a generation thing my dad is about

to be 70 years old and I say dad I love you so much you are my favorite person he's like well hot dog son I love you too that's exactly what he says He should hit it back, Han. Well, yee-haw, son! Let me get my banjo! Dad, I love you. You're among my favorite people. He should say, you're also top five around here. Just leave it there. Or just, I know. So, Kyle, you say, I love you.

There he goes. What happened this there? He had to call his dad. See, he's got to be like, Dad, you won't believe him. They don't believe here. Yeah. So, Kyle, when you say I love you to your dad, he says, I love you. That's how it is with my dad as well. Every time I park company or hang up the phone

with um a loved one i tell them i love them and they tell me they love me because you never know when it's the last time what about grandfather though like is he dead i uh yeah my grandparents I'm sorry. Jesus Christ. My grandpa's dead. It was bad, Kyle. How about Grandpa Irving? Is he still not here? I'm six feet tall, but 12 feet taller than your grandpa. That's just so fucking mean. It's great.

No, seriously. Rest in peace to them no but when they say i love you back because it's my grant my dad says that my grandfather doesn't yeah when my grandmother was dying that was the last thing she said to me she was all jaundiced up and she had turned almost orange because her liver had shut down from the cancer. And you know, the surgeries and stuff, because she had fought for so long. But that was the last thing she told me. My joke is terrible now. She looked like a bird.

She was like 80 pounds by then. Her little mouth was all stretched out and parched. And she said, I love you, Kyle. I love you. You're my number one grandson was our only grandson so i always tell colin he's my favorite grandfather though every day my grandmother held it down she said it she always said it until she died also but it's the grandfather that was the one that was like shut up fuck it was funny you mentioned grandpa because like my like there's

been plenty of stories about my my country farmer grandpa on this show and like my grandma is miss like i love you i love you like me and my dad obviously every time i hang up the phone with my brothers or like my brothers leave my house or anything love you like always with my grandpa like it's so ingrained in me to like say i love you at the end of like a phone call with family but he's the only one that like isn't a hundred percent because like i'll be like you know all right see you later grandpa i love you and he'll be like i feel bad or like i'll see you later no it's him it's he's from that generation of like and like he didn't have like fucking running water as a kid he didn't have a lot of stuff and so like for him he was he was he was telling you were actually we were down couldn't

i don't think those men had that luxury i don't think they had the luxury of being like soft enough to tell their sons they love him now like maybe our dads like maybe they don't have quite as much excuse but unfortunately they were raised by those guys who didn't have a choice and it's only us that are like ah yeah you can suck a dick and tell your kids you love them too yeah like he'll he'll tell stories about like what his dad was like to him because like he was just like a kid working on a farm and he was like this is just last time i was there like a couple weekends ago he was talking about stories and he's like yeah i was 11 years old or so. We were putting fence posts in on my daddy's property. And I was railing one in and missed. Took all the skin, plumb off the top of my hand.

And my father, he was 50 yards that way. I said, son of a bitch. Hold my hand. And he looked up. He was a Christian man. He said, what the hell did you just say? And he walked over there. And he said, i'll give you something to say son of a bitch about and he he plum near took my head off he beat the shit out of me and i was like jesus christ

grandpa he's like and my grandma was like yeah bad he's true his father was very rough on him with what the hell isn't that like yeah he objected to son of a child uh yeah like he would like my grandpa got smacked around like he he didn't say bad bad word like that's the level of like his household it was like tear up your hand but you say son of a bitch like that's not fine in this christian household that blows me away that he could say what the hell it's like son of a bitch the fuck kind of language you use it yeah actually the way the way my grandpa said it is he's like he came over there and he said what the hell you doing saying son of a bitch except he didn't say hail and he didn't say bitch and because like he was

one of those guys who's like i'll kill you and your whole family you son of a gun like you rascal oh god he means He said, son of a gun. He said, son of a gun. So, Taylor, your grandfather had no running water? No. For a long time. My grandma didn't either. They lived in a very rural southern Missouri.

We would do it. Jackie and I had a conversation a couple weeks ago, and it turned into a pour off about our parents. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, my father was so poor. parents yeah yeah i'm like like my father was so poor you're like they lived in the they had like fire damage in their house and they got a settlement it was like townhouses and the one next to it caught on fire and rather than repair the house they just live with like scarred burnt walls and uh paint that was like peeling and falling off from the heat damage because they needed the settlement to survive and buy food and stuff like that and uh his father ran away when he was 10 but prior

to that he was this drunk who would beat them there is this funny family story they tell where my my grandfather threw my aunt into the wall and she landed in between the two studs and sort of sat there like made a chair out of it and they all love this it's all hilarious and she still fucking gets scared when i raise my hand and jackie's like oh did they have they had hot water My dad came from a cold water flat. Like, he didn't have warm water. My parents were killed before I was born. So it caught my attention when Taylor's like, my grandparents didn't have any water. What, did they have a river?

How do you survive without water? They had a spigot. And so they'd have to walk down to the farm area near, like, the chicken coop and then pump water into a bucket and then take it over i think i've got it i think i gotta say i win the pour off though because it sounds like both of these uh all these groups of people came from nuclear families where there's a dad and a mom right like like even if he's a piece of shit he lives we ran away when they was 10 so okay all right that's different that's true that's true Yeah, but the hard part... Michael told me about how they would use shucked corn cobs to wipe their ass.

Well, that's common practice. Yeah, it was a common thing back then. Oh, they wipe their ass, hoity-toity. Yeah, with a shucked corn cob. He's like, I wasn't penetrating. I was wiping. I swear, we all... It was wiping. I swear we all. This is insane. Just shoving up your ass.

You know, you said you guys said son of a gun earlier. You know, son of a gun is kind of like rougher of an insult than son of a bitch. The origin. Because it was like if you were on a Navy, British Navy warship back in the day, sometimes they let women on the ship and any child born on the ship and they didn't know who the father was. They just called the kid a son of a gun. So it's like pretty like it's just like it's kind of like a bastard. I like that.

I like that. Yeah. So it is kind of like not that good. It's kind of an insult. Do you know the originations of any other of those old sayings? Because I always heard the one from Boondock Saints about the rule of thumb. I heard that from Boondock Saints also.

I don't know if that's true. I choose to believe what I was told by that sassy lesbian meat worker. Apparently it's not. Believe it or not, it was actually never legal to savagely beat your wife

in the United States. You can't legally just beat the shit out of people. Don't tell my wife. In my family, we've been calling my nieces and nephews and me and whatever. Son of a monkey, it's just been a thing that we said all this time. And it was like a curse word replacement,

like whatever. And then I used it on a black guest like a year ago he says a black guest like like oh which one he's like oh wolf oh right because i was afraid that you said something racially insensitive to adrian peterson glad you didn't do that Oh, right. Because I was afraid that you said something racially insensitive to Adrian Peterson. Glad you didn't do that. Was that another one?

Probably, yeah. We've only had two and he got a vote. Well, he's batting a thousand. Does that happen to you, Kyle? Every time there's a black cast, I'm when's it gonna happen tonight when is it gonna happen tonight what are you doing that was like i'll get random dms from people sometimes and they'll be like yo what do you think racist on pka today yeah not the adrian peterson the arian foster yeah yeah of course oh people people hit me up sometimes they'll be like woody said something racist on pka today i'll just get it never on purpose no it was em from like a person with no profile picture or anything

i remember what i said instead in front of arian foster that a guy wrote wings or made a video saying he would help him on his weight loss journey oh you're gonna say the racist thing again wings go ahead wings rejected it i'm gonna censor it and uh wings rejected his help and he and he was like i think he said like anyway in his like why are you doing this why aren't you cool to me he dropped the n word and. And I quoted him, I think. And it turns out, even in the context of a quote, you can't say that word. Actually, you're very, very close.

Okay. And I know you mean to be. However... Yeah, all true support. Yeah. However, it's only after further review, I think, that we found out that even the black man in his video had never used the n-word woody had added the n-word in his memory that's all true and so and so he thought he was quoting an n-word but the black man didn't even say it. My window's open and it's a plan.

I got to leave. I mean, it's wide open and it's tight there. And I'm going to let you a little secret. Rashad next door is a black man. Rashad, as you say. He doesn't care for that word, believe it or not. I'll tell you something else. Rashad's car got yoinked yesterday and I watched it happen

they pulled the fucking roll back up and I hear like the hydraulic like lift and the winch going and everything and it makes an uncomfortable noise when you winch a car that doesn't want to be winched and I'm like looking out the window and even the even the guys i was streaming to that i was like

y'all hear that that's my neighbor's car getting fucking repoed right now so he's in a bad mood he wouldn't like any of that dude like like i i saw him outside one time and he was he was like uh he was like hey do you play any video games i play battlefield and i was like, hey, do you play any video games? I play Battlefield. And I was like, video games? No, no. No, no. Battlefield. Video games. I want them on my squad.

I'm trying to get the Nova shot. I got to keep my head up. You're like, we can play with my friend Harley. He plays Battlefield. You can play with my friend Woody. You're going to hate him. You're going to hate him. You're going to hate him. You're going to hate him.

Dude, I can still remember. Woody's going to give you a tall sign right away, and you're not going to like it. Stop calling me that. All right. No, it's a soft A. How about this? Woody's like, all right, guys, I'm back in the tar cob.

I thought we'd be a theme. I'm back in. Let's do the boys. I'll be... How about you be Black Noir, Rashad? Let's just kick off with that. No. I keep seeing my goddamn neighbor's name.

It's the fucking Windows. Your what's name? Your what's name? I'm using... i've got two i've got i got two like gaming pcs going so it puts out a tremendous amount of heat in this room like like it's a tremendous amount of heat you know i i think i've got a thousand watts and one at 800 the other and they're both grinding right now doing their doing their shit and it's you ever think about buying a home i don't know if it's a good idea financially like i'm yeah i was so i was gonna do that this year but obviously the market

so was so funky and it seems like it's it's gonna like fall off the cliff and so honestly like what i've been doing is waiting on the market to fall off that cliff so god i don't want to throw i go to texas no because i don't want to throw like a half million dollars at something and then next year that half million dollar house could have been a 750 000 house it's like man because the difference is huge like look i i don't this first world problems here but the difference between a quarter million dollar house and like a 400 000 house really isn't a ton but when you go from 400 to like six or 700 it's like oh shit yeah y'all added like another fucking house and made everything nicer yeah it's it's a big step up but texas texas is really crazy and i don't imagine

that the the the prices would drop there because it's like i can't believe how big these houses are for the amount that the people like are paying what did you mean by plus you could get guns again i'm not sure about that what did you mean what do you mean oh texas is like i've seen like 700 000 houses that are would cost 5 million in canada exactly exactly because all right so what you're starting with the piece of land that you're sitting on, right? Like, so I grew up in that little, you've been there, a little Franklin County, Georgia. And, um, so property there, like where my dad is, like when I was growing up, that land was $5,000 an acre. It's still only like $10,000 an acre or something like that. But if you, if you buy property right there on the lake, it's a quarter million dollars and

they don't even cut it into acres anymore. they cut it into like quarters and halves of acres it it's the same thing you go out to texas and they're like yeah we got plenty of land like what do you five it's probably five ten fifteen thousand dollars an acre it's not like building a house right in the suburbs somewhere where like the piece of property that i'm sitting on right now god knows yeah i bet this it gets really cheap i was watching a youtuber now this isn't where you'd want to live because it doesn't have utilities and everything's 40 minute drive away but it was 287 an acre 287 like that is an acre is a little over free yeah yeah yeah there um it at that point it becomes what kind of utilities can we expect out here what kind of um internet capabilities where's the cost

the cost oh the cost yeah yeah this store yeah i see a place that i'm like you could have nothing you got a costco and a walmart i'm like let's go bro this is a viable location to begin a life yeah when you live on the east coast here you don't even realize how remote places can be like even in america that i've gone all these motorcycle trips now so my eyes are open to it i went on a trip this wasn't a bike trip but anyway last year and i got strep throat i couldn't see a doctor until monday and started on friday like I was really suffering. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to eat.

I was really, really having a hard time. And, like, really no doctors in, like, 90 minutes? That sucks. That super sucks. I go on these long trips, and it's like, you can't buy a GoPro within 200 miles of this spot. That doesn't happen here. I don't know how many GoPros are in Raleigh. There must be 100.

There's someone ready to go pick you up a GoPro and bring it to you where you live right now. I think you're right. Oh, yeah, for sure. Do you ever process that, man, if I hurt myself here, I'm on my own, and it's going to be like a like a helicopter or i'm gonna have to tough it out for miles because i remember we were we were in the middle of nowhere in new mexico on uh your blm land we had driven off of a lonely road for an hour and a half but what you got to keep in mind is it's not that fast hour and a half down a road it's like off-road driving through canyons and like over washed out riverbeds and stuff we're in the wilderness four by four only shit and we were shooting that minigun off the top of that hill

and the round exploded on like on the inside of my um um thigh like where your femoral artery is and i didn't know if i thought i might be shot it burned and it hurt bad and i had seen the flash and the explosion but i we finished shooting and said the thing and then i immediately jerked my pants down there's like two like two women there and like all my friends and i like jerked my pants down butt naked, and there's a cigar burn on the inside of my thigh where that round had exploded and just burnt the shit out of me, but not... Can you help me understand the mechanic of the injury?

Like, a bullet seemed to hit you, but it didn't hit you hard? I don't understand. Keep in mind, it's a minigun I'm shooting, so it has that big belt that's being fed by an electric motor that's powered by a 12-volt car battery. It's spooling up, so it's forcing big belt that's being fed by an electric motor that's powered by a 12 volt car battery. It's spooling up. So it's forcing those through that belt at an incredibly fast rate, 4,500 per minute.

And one of them exploded in the belt against my thigh. So I don't know what part of it hit me or what part of it burned me at all. It was almost dark when we shot it, you know, for effect. So I just saw an explosion happen next to my thigh and had the big nasty burn on my inner thigh around went off in the belt yeah yeah okay wow or like burst like a you know i doubt don't think like oh the bullet took off like it came out of a gun it's more like the needs a barrel for that yeah yeah it sort of blew up like a little mini 308 caliber hand grenade um i guess or something

like that but in that moment i was real scared because there was no getting to help if you were bleeding you know it was going to be hours it was going to be like a solid two and a half hours to get to like the guy who has like the thing that clamps your fucking artery off that that that guy with the clampy forceps thing like like yeah he's two and a half hours away and he's asleep for probably yeah yeah you know yet my last trip was like that i was going through death valley and blm land in nevada in california and uh it's like i don't think there's another human within 80 miles of me right now and it's and what the land itself like i don't think i talked about on the show and i it blows my mind that i think you could have changed the year by half a million years it

could be 500 000 years ago and there'd be no difference like you just wouldn't even notice the time change this place is so untouched by people maybe um. The U.S. is huge. You talked about how scary it is to be 80 miles, no people near you, and that thought going through your mind. You know what's scary, though, is to have that thought and then hear someone off in the woods. Or maybe hear someone do... If you heard someone go,

la-la-la, Ricola! You would reply back with a Ricola, because that's funny shit. And you know that's a jovial man who's in his 30s to 50s. Because he remembers those cough drop commercials. He remembers the cough drop commercials. And he's taking advantage of the Mountain Canyon's

acoustics. But if you heard Pazuzu! you'd be like i don't think i'm gonna pack up let's just rev on the fuck home what if i just heard like echoing of like you know what i heard like little like giggles like those asians scare no not sexy spooky this is why i got into guns i used to go off-roading and because i live far away i'd be the i'd camp there the night before whereas other people would drive up there that morning cool i'm camping in the woods by myself in kentucky and i think i'm

totally alone and no one's supposed to be here and by the way there's no running water there's no reason for anyone to be here it's supposed to be just me i by the way, there's no running water. There's no reason for anyone to be here. It's supposed to be just me. I think I'm all alone. And I hear a guy say, hey, there's a tent there. I'm like, what? How many are out there? What are their intentions? Why are they here?

I can't win this. So I said, hey, everybody, look, I heard somebody. Get your guns. Hey, Cletus, this looks like one of them city slicker things. A nice REI. I wonder if there's a wealthy failure right there. No, from inside the tent, you yell, hey, everybody, get your knives. I hear some people.

Everyone, formation! That pattern A. It happened more than once. Another time, a stick broke. Why did a stick broke? What's big enough in the woods to be breaking sticks? Is it a human? Is it a cat?

Yeah. Coyote? I've spent a lot of time in the woods. Okay. For three or four years in a row, I spent every morning and every evening of the fall, right? Like every day of deer season, I would go morning and evening, like three hours each.

And you'll hear so many things that are weird. And it's, it's like you said, it's like what broke stick. I'm armed. I'm ready to go. Like, come on, stick breaker. broke stick. I'm armed. I'm ready to go. Come on, stick breaker! Step out! Break my stick! Break your broken stick.

Come on! We break all kinds of sticks up in here. I'll break some back. It's like, what the fuck is breaking? But I think that it's usually just weight of a limb, actually a limb collapsing on itself, like some really rotten stuff is all I can figure. Obviously, acorns and shit falling.

I've never heard anything in the woods that I couldn't eventually wrap my head around what that must be. There's some weird birds down here that make squawking noises. It's like, it can sound like a screech. It can be weird. I guess there's bobcats.

I saw that one on our little trip. I know that those make a a screech it can be weird and i guess there's bobcats we i saw that one on our little trip and i and i know that those make a scary screech but i've never heard one i've only seen one once in kentucky there's i don't know my cats that well bobcats mountain lions wildcats or whatever but there are those okay yeah um bobcats are one of those about 35 pounds, and they have that bobbed tail. And they scream. Yeah. 35 pounds, I can take it. So this is one of those where, whether you say mountain lion, cougar, puma, or two or three other things,

you're essentially talking about the same thing. But it's that big fucking predatory cat that kills people the one that looks like a miniature lioness um the the ones that they have in like southern california yeah the big boy over there um they have those in southern california and in the southwest and plenty it down like south of the border and those will fucking kill you yeah yeah well it's like it's got border and those will fucking kill you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like,

it's got traps. It's my fucking dog. She won't shut the fuck up. She's just, yeah. Yeah. She doesn't like that. You're talking about all these cats.

Wait, Zach, I didn't see all the cat stats. There were cat stats. Yeah. There were cat stats back up. Rats. I'm watching videos of mountain lions scream now.

This would be upsetting. Do your best mountain lion scream. Ah, fuck. Hold on. I said scream. What are you, pregnant? I'm trying to. The quick Google search says Kentucky has lots of bobcats,

and the cougars used to live there, but they've been gone for 100 years. You're an animal impressionist. Hang on. Yeah, I got you. Okay. All right. Let me try and do him if he was Asian. They'd use L.

Wow. They'd use L Wow The lion will absolutely fuck you up A cat that weighs 160 pounds Can kill Any person 160 pound cat Yeah it's all muscle It'll catch you by surprise I want to grab our biggest person

Like a Brock Lesnar I i'm gonna go okay i'm gonna get i'm gonna he's gonna go shut that dog up i i hope he comes back with the giant cat yeah i mean i don't think that it's taking brock or it's gonna take brock lesnar because i thought about that when mike tyson was owning a tiger when he was owning a tiger i was like i guess the tiger might know better that he could probably knock it out. No, if you tried to pick the best fight, if what's his name? Tyson Fury. If he threw a big barehanded punch at a tiger's jaw, number one, he might break his hand because that's not going to give. Because it's for sure.

That's a thick ass bone, right? It would be so insignificant to the tiger that it would take a second for the tiger to register that an attempted attack was made and then it would kill tyson fury you don't think like you don't think like there's an angle or a place do you hit it and it's gonna shake the brain up a little bit no chance the brain gets no chance that a tiger is getting knocked out by we are talking about like an animal that could be like up to like 600 or 700 pounds, right? Tigers are the best one to pick because like if a full grown lion like walks by a tiger, it's like I don't want any of that.

Like, oh, my God, that's way more intense than I am. Thank God. Lions are like 250 pounds or 300 pounds. And like tigers are like more than double that. But tigers are always malnourished though tigers always have their hanging bodies because they're never like they don't get enough calories for what they really need to be at their ultimate existence tigers they're kind of like always hungry i think lions exist like that too but if you had a fed tiger yeah i guess uh no i don't know what i'd

rather fight a hungry tiger or a fed one actually i want it stuffed to the gills couldn't i want it to if it kills me to kind of like pick at my chest and be like oh you don't need this why are you feeding me turkey and milk shut up go to sleep yeah it's like, ah, this guy's fucking salty. There's a lot of sodium in this guy. Unbelievable blood pressure. But yeah, no boxer could knock out a tiger. Oh, my God. Were we doing that?

I got to do it yesterday. Carly asked, and I had to defend the honor of tigers. Apparently, the lion's mane helps the lion in uh in attack defense scenarios not against the tiger though just in general apparently the lion's mane does that and so tests were done if that could mean anything for humans with beards if it does anything and they made like uh this like epoxy jaw like uh recreation because apparently that's like like that's like uh you know obviously where you hit someone you hit them in the jaw and like that's where our beards could be um and they set it up in this scenario where like the moment that a jaw fails like where it breaks um and then

they where it's like 100 of the time the jaw will break and they put like a beard there and a beard made of like various hairs from like sheep. And it was like the jaw broke 45% of the time if there was a beard there. Really? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They went so far, okay, as to create a gelatin head with a bone jaw. And then they went so far as to measure the exact amount of newtons required to just barely break it and then they said all right we gotta get the beard should we go to a

barber and get some human hair to put in here no no no get some sheep's wool in fact the person that i when i was reading it and they said obviously they can't use real human hair while i was reading it i was like why but okay yeah why not obviously yeah they said that even like shit but i agree with you i was like well why you can use my hair if you want it yeah it's like look at my sink you'll be good just ask hear me out you're entering a slap contest right this is a problem someone's going to be hitting you in the face you grow a bushy beard that helps you a little but what if you packed that beard with wax to the point that it became some sort of impact-absorbing stress ball? Comb has to pass through the beard. Those are the rules of the game.

Really? Who knows that? Yeah. I counter. Not everyone knows that. Wait, what was it? Everyone in my house knows the rules. Everyone here knows the rules of Slappy McBeard-Off.

The poem must cleanly pass through with an even stroke. One even stroke. Any thicker than that then you clearly applied some sort of schmutz to that. And you are disqualified from Slappy McBeard-Off. Well, fuck. I'll never make it. That's what happened to my uncle. He's not allowed anymore.

Banished. You got anything to say about that, Harley? About his dead uncle? No, that's what happened to my uncle he's not allowed anymore banished anything to say about that partly uncle no that's too close and also my deepest sympathies and condolences for that horrible experience with your grandmother i could only imagine what it was actually like i was doing a silly joke before i didn't realize there was actual suffering involved no i don't know that happens she's still alive okay i'm a jew i was lying i didn't care about anything except money oh i was that was actually all true though okay i take you back i am actually i'm not like the other ones so see how they are right right kyle it's that move, Shifty.

No, that did happen. That was sad. My uncle, too. Cancer. I don't know why your family can't be cancer like we do, Kyle. I don't know, man. Look, look. I'm a two-time cancer champion. You're at least a two-time champion.

Hey, you're going for three. I can feel it. I'm working on it. I got my dynasty. Jackie said the back of my neck is sunburned.'m already working on the three p here's what we can look forward to in the in this fucking year all right a three p from uga and more cancer on woody i dare and fucking t every night i prayed of a dark this is gonna replay when my biopsy comes back and it'll be so fucking funny it will be it's just you're just doubling up kyle's number of survival stories like this

is like take the cancer from my real body and throw it upon that man wishing cancer no no i want my cancer to leave. That's all I say. Don't just leave. Go on to him. I'm just saying it's got to go somewhere. For a bit. If it's got to go somewhere, go to someone who's so resilient.

Clearly. Go somewhere where we can get three minutes out of it. My mom just beat cancer Oh my god It's in the family You guys just dominate cancer That's good That is good news

That's good Do you want to say what kind or what was going on It was breast cancer Never fun She had surgery About a week ago And she's doing great good i'm glad to hear that we just smack cancer around like the bitch it is in this family yeah yeah i know i'm just i'm so glad that so far my cancer has been like the the bitch made cancer because because like

my mom had the scary kind she had like some big old egg-sized tumor or something. And my uncle, he had brain cancer. And then my grandmother, I think it was started in her liver, but then it got everywhere. So you never know what kind is coming for you next. But it's coming. I mean, we'll all get cancer eventually, God willing. What kills people?

Cancer, carbs uh guns you want a list or like i'm just like like what causes old people to actually die there's cancer but what does the cancer do stop the heart from failing i think it's heart failure a lot of times and um i think what it really is and people don't like to talk about it, it's you ever like drink some water, it goes down the wrong tube, and you're like, oh, that was rough there for a minute. I bet that kills like a million old people every year, and nobody talks about it. It's like, yeah, it went down the wrong tube. No, she had a stroke.

Because it's so embarrassing to say, well, she's having some diet right, and it went down the wrong tube, and that was it for Granny. Yep, she made it through the Depression, World War II. She was a nurse in NAMM. Did you know that, Timmy? But it went down the wrong tube. Yeah, you just get so fragile when you get old. Because like if, like Kyle, like if you or I or any of us,

like if we slipped while we were shoveling our driveways, like if we didn't break something, it would be like, Oh, your thought would be, this is embarrassing. Oh, I just slid down my driveway.

People are watching. If you were like a 78 year old, like overweight guy that could kill you. Like just not even a heart attack, just slipping. And when's the last time you fell hard? Like, like when you didn't get right up saturday uh we'll get back to you answers to this what happened on saturday what

we're gonna get back i would i'm sorry i thought you said for me to get back uh last time i fell hard was literally shoveling my driveway about three years ago and i hit my ass so hard on the concrete it was brutal i felt like an idiot those are did your feet like describe how your feet like slipped out like what did they both go the same direction my driveway is a little bit like slanted down like a decent angle and so i had like i was facing this way so i had one foot higher than the other on a slant and i was trying to get it and then my lower foot gave out and trying to recover, I did almost like a little splits and then like fell down. Yeah, really embarrassing.

What part of your ass hit the ground? The whole part. Every bit of my ass hit the ground. I tried to like... My neck was rigid because I'm a young, virile man. But if I was an older guy, I wouldn't have had that neck and like torso rigidity and I could have smacked my head.

Is your ass still deformed from a bunk bed accident forever is yeah forevermore yeah now well i was at a bachelor party for a wedding that didn't even end up panning out and i i used to when i was young i used to roll out of beds all the time when i was sleeping like i just i move i still do i move around a lot in my sleep and i hadn't done that in you know many many. Cause I didn't sleep in bunk beds. Cause I was fucking, you know, 28 at the time. And I got to the house we were staying at on the Lake of the Ozarks and I got there a little late. And so there was nothing available except for the top bunk. So I took that. And on the second night I rolled so hard into the barrier and these were not, you know, five-year-old bunk beds these is probably seven and a half feet tall like i'm very high and the the the safety bar was wooden and it wasn't screwed in i realized it was just nailed in and so i rolled into it and knocked it out and then fell seven and a half feet people woke up

it was the middle of the night and they were like i thought someone was like shooting a gun because the board i landed on top of it so hard into the ground. And the board that fell flat dented into the muscle in my upper right ass. And I still have a permanent indentation. Not on the ass cheek. It's almost like lower back, upper ass kind of there. No part of it is being sat on ever, no matter what position I'm sitting in. But yeah, it's just my beautiful. Now, if I get a great pump in my ass from uh from

doing you know hip thrusts or whatever i have to look at my left side because that's my good cheek i can't look at my right side because that's my bad cheek and it fills me with a lot of you know dread seeing it because it's like god this is ugly and i hate it and people are gonna there's no patreon goal where you share it with the audience i thought you're gonna say there's a goal where i could they be like refill my ass there could be multiple other one there's a tearful running for the operation to to to fill your ass and then never do it yeah what genuinely i was just stupid like i should have gone to the hospital i should have went to a doctor because he could have like restitched it together like but there's just a dent in the muscle. Like there's a separation of the muscle.

Like I can stick my finger back there, like and feel it hurts. So I don't do it. But yeah, ass is ruined forever. You don't realize like how much as a guy you're like, damn, I kind of want to have a nice ass. And then I know I realized that like in the last year or so. Yeah, I used to never feel that way. I like skipped out on leg days and stuff and like working out my ass i was just like what's the point like you know and like now i'm like oh my posterior chain was weak

but having said that it's just an ugly flat ass so now when i go to the gym like late no one's there that's when i start doing the glute bridge humps and the kickbacks and the uh the hip adductor and abductor like i'm doing all that when no one's there i'm like now it's time for that real ass fucking workout and i'm like yeah like humping in the corner of the gym which i would never do when people are there because i'm like just so big yeah it's weird and then i'm like looking around to make sure no one's looking at me and i end up making eye contact with every single person nightmare just nightmare fuel for me i work out in a home gym and some of my exercises are so fucking gay i'm really happy to have a home gym like i'm doing

dead bugs and fucking like dog peeing on thing exercises that's a great exercise those inner thighs must be on fire. It's my warm-up. It's mostly for lower back. That's the idea. I have a couple exercises I do just preventative lower back issues. That seems smart. That seems to be the thing that gets everybody later in life. What's it called?

The big five. Big three. Tell me about your fall, Woody, because at your age, you never know when the fall is coming. You never know when it's going to be the fall. So on a dirt bike, I'm not great at dirt biking. If I'm a blue belt at dirt biking, I'm a black belt at downhills. Just like it doesn't matter. Six foot drops, whatever. Like, I'm good at that.

Whatever. That's just what's up. And I saw this downhill and I was like, you know what? I think I can do this, even though it was really hard what i didn't anticipate was how v-shaped the bottom of it was i thought it'd be more u-shaped and you know i made it down the hill well and then just there was no uphill it was like a greater than 90 degree angle and the front tire just sort of stopped and right in place i went over the handlebars and landed flat on my back and stayed there for a bit. So that was the last good fall I had.

How long were you laying there? Were you laying there out of exhaustion or were you thinking like, oh, no, like I could be hurt? Like a systems check. Yeah. Like, all right, give this give this a few seconds and see what's part of you. Like, oh, where's the pain going to go? You know, just sort of had to collect my thoughts. I don't think I hit my head hard,

but there is like, I don't also know everything that happened in this. Like, how did I get here? It was one of those. That's no fun. Glad you're good. I mean, I don't even worry about you falling now. I feel like you're building an immunity.

That's right. Eventually I'll be able to take falls. good i mean i don't even worry about you falling now i feel like you're building an immunity every day i take small falls and drink snake venom speaking of people who used to fall for a living robbie knievel died the other day evil son of evil knievel i remember watching him jump the snake river canyon when i was a young man and thinking this just isn't cool anymore his dad was supposed to be a badass actually i think what happened was it got windy and he called it off and this is in the time when like what this is long before live streams the internet any of that horse shit this was on fox fox was like tonight at 7 p.m robbie kenevil jumps the snake river canyon after that the x-files and whatever the fuck and uh all right i'll put you down hang on chill chill chill chill fucking gremlin and uh um yeah i think they got windy

and he fucking called it off and even then like as a young man i knew enough about his father that i think i was like i don't think his dad would have called it off. I think they'd have been like, Mr. Evil, sir. The wind engineer is telling me it's no good, sir. No good. I think he'd have done it. He'd have been like, fuck it. I'll just go faster. The people are here.

The cameras are rolling. I think he'd just gone. That's awful. He's a daredevil, and he died of pancreatic cancer. The worst kind of cancer. 60. Can I just say that the fact that he didn't go out doing increasingly more dangerous stunts is...

Well, it's just selfish. He should have been a 60-year-old MMA fighter. Let me tell you guys something. If I get a terminal disease, y'all hear about it. Y'all hear about it. In a good way, in a good way. That's not how I feel.

Happy things. You have six months to live, and Kyle replies, I'm thinking four. I knew what you meant, but i know what they thought was like you sending like a almost smiling jokey video of you like here i go like off the bridge or something yeah uh or something no when he was just like i'm if i had something terminal y'all are gonna hear about it i was like it's gonna be on the news he's gonna get the dragon's breath shotgun again he's gonna get the fucking minigun out it's gonna make a wish give this 37 year old man his youtube channel back that's all he wants oh that's how you i you took it that

way that what he was saying i thought he was going to a scarier place no i know i took it no no i took it you went on a spree uh yeah like frenzy style something overly dangerous kyle yeah yeah well i think that's that was the joke that's kind of what i was jokingly yeah no i said murder but if yeah that's what you said robbie knievel however like his whole bag was stunts and jumping shit and like getting paid for it like he had the the contacts the connection and the apparati to like get a fucking rocket ship and go to space like that's how ida went out ida said shoot me into the fucking moon i want you to crash me into the moon elon musk would have been on board i'm gonna i want like paint the ship with the evil kenevil colors right the fucking red white

and blue baby all right and and and Robbie Knievel's gonna jump space he jumps from earth to the fucking moon and his whole thing I want to crash right in the moon that's how I want to go out and I that's how I would love to go out if you told me Kyle you have terminal butthole cancer and it's just gonna eat you right up and i would i would say but we will shoot you at the moon if you want i would say yes yes shoot me at the moon yes for research for nasa we need to know like there's moon nazis who are who who are sensitive who are vulnerable moon space nazis who are vulnerable to my specific butthole cancer. And if they fire me at such a speed as to vaporize that butthole cancer,

it's like, you know how you eat and you get to come back. You know, you eat another, your own kind of brain, eat your own kinds of brain. You get the prions in you and you get that mad cow disease. This is very, very much like this.

This is hand in hand with that. I would just love that that would work would you want to die on impact on the moon or would you want to land on the moon and then die of asphyxiation after i want to kind of look around the moon because like if i'm given the option i would like to land on the moon and then kind of die on my own time i want to be bloodied and beaten and like broken and i want to kind of look through like blood i want to like look through like blood like covered eyeballs and see like a red earth and i want that to be like the end of season one for me i mean it seems like you must be an ancillary character if you're

no no no no and it goes black right it goes red because of the blood in my eyes and then and then you just see text on the screen 1 000 years later and i'm waking up that's how season two begins that's how it begins i thought it was going to begin with like what a horrible dream like those no shows what's the name of the show that did that i feel like that's the kind of knowledge you would oh well no you got to go back to like the 90s tv shows like like not specifically quantum leap but tv shows from that cut from that same cloth to to get an to get episodes where they actually just wake up um now i will say this in star trek universe the final episode of star trek enterprise reveals that everything we've seen the past five seasons, I believe, of this TV show was a different Star Trek character from a different Star Trek TV show watching a hologram, watching a holographic projection and like like like watching the historical.

I don't like that because he's he's a couple hundred years ahead. Right. So William Riker goes, that was a that was great to see how things were back then well back to fucking green bitches and running shit and he just like walks off the holodeck and you're like bro i don't know if i like that like wait so nothing was at stake well it was all at stake but they like kind of like back then yeah that's that seems like they fumbled it of course they fumbled it yeah yeah but but no that's the only example that i can think of where at the end they kind of pull the rug out that oh yeah like this was i mean it kind of didn't happen the way they love using their show to set up their next one

yeah we'll see the like they didn't reverse here though this was reversed though this was like reicher had been canceled for years right like he had they that uniform didn't fit and uh and uh you know he was wearing the old school uniform it didn't make sense but um i like the new star trek like like if if if i wanted to tell somebody these days who weren't like if they were like hey i kind of want to get into Star Trek. I just think the uniforms look cool, and I know that women are really into Star Trek. Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely not.

Stay away from that. Stay away from that woke-ass shit. Unless you're a lady or another. But if you want to watch a Star Trek Discovery, I would say that's more for ladies than others. So you're saying Picard? Oh say that's more for ladies and others so you're saying picard oh that's for that's just a slap in the face to all of us as star trek fans that's what that is bottom two star treks ever maybe bottom star trek ever is picard it might be worse than discovery because you take such beloved characters and like rub dirt and and

doodoo on their face it's like all right it's like if they did lord of the rings it's like they're like we're making lord of the rings 2 um return of the king part 2 and like i don't know arwen just gets like dirty dicked by some like goblins or something at the beginning don't even it's literally it would actually be like if lord of the rings came back and you got to see frodo's life and everyone everyone's like, fuck you, Frodo. Can't believe what you did after the ring. And he's like, he looks at the camera. He's like, you don't know what I did after the ring, do you? It was pretty bad.

I don't want to get into a whole nerdy thing here. That's stupid. Like Patrick Stewart, you've probably seen memes of him as Captain Picard. And the way he played that character was very serious. He didn't think of it as a silly role he played he's a dramatically trained actor so he played it seriously and he played it he's sort of like this space diplomat who thinks and talks his way out of things and and and he comes to the table with reason literally a superhero as far as superhero as a regular human could be yeah he's he's he's the negotiator like like he's the smartest guy in the room

i think a hundred percent i tell people he literally he's the type of guy that could sit down with like yoda and palpatine and negotiate a truce between the jedi and the city for sure for sure he's just a guy but he literally is like there's some things you guys should talk about yeah so so then they have him in this new show and it's okay that that patrick stewart is a is a very old man he's you know pushing 90 or whatever you can work around that put him in that goddamn chair and have him point forward and have him out think some fucking uh aliens instead they got him like limping jogging upstairs with 30 cuts and i think they had him on a toilet with his pants down.

It's like, get out of here. None of that. If you want to watch good Star Trek, it's Brave New Worlds. There's this new show that's got Captain Pike. I've talked about it before. That is an amazing show. It's brand new Star Trek with young, new actors

for the most part. It's spectacular. I love it. I have a question about it. Yes. All right. So there are two kinds of Star Trek's according to me. One is a Star Trek next generation that you pointed out.

And that to me is office worker Star Trek, right? Where, what they're really looking for are people who are good at calculus, people who make good decisions, people who are diplomats, et cetera. Then there's the movie star Trek,

my favorite where they're like, look, we got a problem, but we need solving anyone here. Good at base jumping motor cross with hand to hand combat skills. That's the kind of star Trek that I like. I like it. When,

when fucking captain Kirk hops on a dirt bike to create a diversion, right? Which one is this? This is a good mixture of the two and i think the captain is a very interesting mixture of former captains right like he's definitely a thinking guy and it seems like he's more into delegating and like having his team go out and do shit um and his hair is just so fucking on point um it's it's it's a thing of show me captain pike's hair please um and uh you know this is i've

told you about this this is the guy who knows his future and knows he's going to get his face melted and be in a wheelchair and all he's going to be he's going to communicate with beeps and boops he's like r2d2 with an ugly face he knows that's coming but he's going to allow it to happen because he knows how many people are going to live he knows their names he knows the names of the children who will live and uh and he kind of like lives with that day to day but that's like 10 years from oh my god look at that damn that's a man i gotta check this now show me that smoke show with a beard show me google this captain pike with beard naked you're gonna you're gonna well he's shirtless don't worry this is uh this is called uh this is star trek strange new worlds right strange new thank you strange new worlds i said yeah yeah i

didn't watch this one but i've heard great things and i even watched like there's actually quite a few more star treks like what you're talking about woody they've kind of expanded into more because um oh that's great could When I first got Star Trek, I saw the trailer for the J.J. Abrams movie where the kid was playing Beastie Boys and driving in the old school car, the fast car. The cop super bike reaches up to him and the kid's so fast in the car,

shifting gears and he jumps out and then the cops like what's her name he's like my name's james kirk james siberius kirk yeah i was like this is sick cool i'll check it out jj abrams gets things excited you know uh gets me excited for things doesn't always see it to the end um but i thought i saw that i was like oh star trek's cool i'm gonna go check out star trek i'm ready in my life to watch a mature space show, whatever it may be. No idea what it was. I put on Star Trek, the original series, and tried. I tried.

This is the oldest one we've shared. The oldest one, yeah. It just was not for me. I couldn't do it. Everything about it to me sucked at the time. Then I went to Next Generation, and i actually couldn't do it i didn't i couldn't i didn't like next generation and then my my buddy was i told him i was like i didn't like next generation he's like yeah you have to start when reicher has a beard if you're

watching before reicher has the beard you're there too early so it's literally season three is where it finds its footing um and now if you anyone ever wanted to watch any of you fucking losers listening to this podcast right now you want to watch it but there's um go to uh yeah you fit fucking you know what you're not fat but you were always skinny you're weak and you're dead lifting a bunch that whatever. It doesn't matter. You little fucking pushover. You're still a skinny fucking weakling loser. You make me sick. You're a bitch.

And I don't care if you don't like what I'm with. You're dribbly. Watery cum loads. Yes. So true. This next generation. I got to. I use a watch list guy listening at home.

Use the watch list. Watch the best episodes, the best order. If you want, then you'll go back and watch a whole bunch. But I always loved our mock engine gel out of Tanagra. But long story short, that was a whole type of starch when the walls fell. And then next and then and Voyager and Deep Space. They're kind of like. No, he's right.

Temba, his arm's wide. Oh, what's the next part? It was like something his arm's close. Shaka, when the walls fell, Temba, his arm's wide. Anyways, it's a great episode. But then the other ones are kind of like that too. And then the Star Trek movies, like I really like the ones with Picard,

but you could still go watch Wrath of Khan because that one's old Star Trek. But what's so cool about it is like the whole thing's filmed in like one fucking room and somehow it's an amazing movie. It's a cheap ass fucking movie, Wrath of Khan, but I like it. Wrath of Khan uses a lot of shots from the movie before. Oh, does it? Actually, no, it's the other one. It's the next one. Search for Spock uses of khan shots um oh yeah but i never saw i only watched wrath of khan during pandemic because i couldn't deal with old school star

trek and i like the jj abrams movies they were like fun but not like how star trek is star trek is like what's fun is like when when like something happens in next generation and you kind of like pause it or you finish it after like huh what would i do and like yeah sometimes a scenario happens you're like oh my god i can't wait to see what picard's gonna do because you like and you admire how he thinks and how he approaches problems and problem solving now they're a bit more action oriented they like like discoveries like discovery is like a whole bunch of action scenes and like high stakes stuff that it's like there's not even a philosophical question so it's like the philosophical star trek and then the

action star trek and i don't know where strange new worlds is that but i watched star trek prodigy which was yeah and i watched the first episode i meant to go back but i was like yeah, and I watched the first episode. I meant to go back, but I was like, well, that was fun. Yeah, yeah. I was like, that was fun. It wasn't philosophical Star Trek. No. It was like the other one, but it was kind of fun. Star Trek is one of my areas of study.

The original TV is sort of unwatchable, in my opinion. It's worth going back if you admire things like the filming locations outside los angeles and noticing that that's hey i've seen little house on prayer little house in the prairie they just put aluminum foil on the rocks like i've been there like we shot my stupid youtube video out there everything's shot out there on those fucking rocks they just throw aluminum foil on it so it's almost unwatchable um the one i mentioned strange new worlds i believe um they bring the gorn back who is that laughable enemy from 1969 that man in the green rubber suit the gorn are the scariest fucking thing in this new show like they use human bodies to like they like put their eggs in them it sounds like they rape people with their egg with egg sacks or something. They sort of dance around

exactly what they're going to do to these people, but there's one person who was the only survivor from a Gorn attack, and she's got PTSD, and she gets all shaky when they deal with them. And anytime they deal with them, it's just life or death. It's not like, I don't know,

fire the phasers! It's like, run! Into the sun! Fly into the phases it's like run into the sun fly into the sun they literally fly into the sun deeper it's like one of those submarine movies where they got to go deeper they're doing that but with the fucking sun because the gorn are after them it's that scary and um no i like that one a lot next generation yet like you said very philosophical the drum head is one of the better episodes that's when they bring aboard this like federation prosecutor and she's looking for fucking malfeasance there's like an accident aboard and the invest and just oh it was an accident isn't good enough she's like oh conspiracy is afoot and she like infects the security office

she's got she's like wharf i need you to be in charge of this investigation there are saboteurs afoot and all of a sudden it gets very militarized and picard's being squeezed out because she's got and she's called three admirals and they're gonna have a big like military like tribunal or whatever and and she's over there all hoity-toity and picard just walks in front of them no and just fucking lays it out there. Just lays it down. Brings up these historical references and fucking points, fingers and hurts feelings. And when it's done,

she's a jabbering mess. And, and all the admirals walk out of the room without look. She's disgraced. Everybody walks up. Is this the next generation? The next generation. Yeah.

And, and wharf is like an uruk-hai by the way so if you put it in charge of security that's cool but now imagine your uruk-hai is like trying to lead everything yeah he apologizes to picard after that one he he's he's he apologized oh yeah because he's a half he's a half elf half uruk-hai it's true he apologizes he apologizes another time uh I think I know it. Yeah, when Data has to take command and

he speaks out of turn in front of the crew and Data takes him in the back. He's like, if you can't perform your duties, I'm going to relieve you of them. He's like, what have I done wrong? He's like, you questioned my orders in front of the crew. You'd never question Captain Picard's orders in front of the crew not like that you wouldn't

and he's like good damn it you're right data i'm sorry data's like a break that's like a character data goes i hope this hasn't ruined our friendship mr wharf and data goes it is i who endangered our friendship and they have like this. They like bro out so hard that, you know, that they've coalesced so much now that when they go back out into that room, Oh, we're all working now.

I love that. I love things like that. I'll never forget. I don't know if how much you guys like playing the game, metal gear, solid, you know, that game back in the day.

It's like, yeah, yeah. There's like a metal gear, solid, the one on PlayStation one. You're like, you play a solid snake. the day? Yeah, yeah. There's like a Metal Gear Solid, the one on PlayStation 1. You're like, you play as Solid Snake. You're this military badass dude.

And you end up meeting a nerd, like a super nerd. This guy whose name is Otacon, which is like based on anime and stuff. And he's the nerdiest guy, Hal. He's like so lame and Snake's so cool with the gun and the bandana. And at the end of the game you you pretty much like normally save that character that guy gets like you you save with him he helped you defeat metal gear rex and you get off and you're good metal gear 2 you don't play a snake but snake is in the game and at one point like hal has to do something and you you see like this is snake and hal seeing each

other for the first time since the first game and snake's so cool and how's like i can't do it i don't know if i could do it and like snakes like hey believe in yourself and how's like okay i'll do it and it's so weird because it's ps2 with shitty ps2 graphics but then they go and they do this handshake that's this like next level yeah and it's like so weird seeing this like nerdy guy do it but he's doing it with snake he knows so fucking legit he knows the handshake and they do it and in like 2002 or whatever 2001 like even a movie wouldn't hit this beat so hard and the video game doesn't i remember being like 17 but yo autocon's fucking cool now what's what's slightly a similar moment it's a it's a game trailer it's the game trailer for escape from tarkov there's this moment and this is one of their early trade uh uh ones where

essentially you got russia versus the u.s like that's what it boils down to and like there's russians and u.s soldiers fighting it out with machine guns in like a shower like like there's like tile dividers walls and stuff and shit's blowing up everywhere and like everybody gets wasted and then like there's like two survivors who at the end are like pointing their guns at each other but then on the outside you hear it's the fucking scavengers it's the fucking locals who are the third party in the game that everybody has to worry about and the russian kind of looks the american and goes and the american goes yeah and like throws him his fucking ak and they cock that shit and like like tap him on the shoulder and they fucking advance like stacked

up all tactical and shit to go get the scavs and the music is like and then like kind of zooms out and showed you the larger world of tarkov that this one little fight was a part of is that the original trailer for it i'm not 100 sure about that but it's like the original one i saw yeah it's it's good shit um it's uh tarkov is is a big part of my life right now killing it in solos right still no nobody but you it's sick they're in the showers they got the guns at each other and you hear the guys upstairs they're like and he looks like and he talked to this guy yeah it's sick it is cool i love that it's like we're at war here but we're not scum like those cocksuckers let's let's get out of here alive bro because like like the other thing is like they is, it's essentially kind of like a little bit what's going on there now, I bet.

You've got the Wagner Group, which is like mercenaries, which is what the bear are. The bear are essentially the Wagner Group. There's a funny comment on this, by the way. Someone said it would have been more realistic if they wiggled at each other. Oh, yeah. That's what we do in game like like like um and it's it's it's it's faster than like hitting a key and like giving somebody a hand signal just give them the wiggle uh well i coordinate with people like like i like sometimes i'll be in the game and i'll meet another player scab and i'll

be like dude there's players right over there i'm gonna flank around and like we'll be long out of like earshot because you have to be to avoid so i'll give him the wiggle from on top of the hill and i'll look down there in the valley he's wiggling or he'll do me give me one of these with his gun i like it's good shit yeah that does sound fun let me know next time you're doing it i feel i feel like like dude's just doing dmz which is like uh baby's first tarkov has like got me comfortable with just going out and losing everything i built up to get so it so them's fighting words first of all you know maybe you don't understand what you're talking about um what he's about to get back into tarkov maybe a little bit i know one of my good friends, Mitty, he just got his hands had to have a surgery with pins in it and stuff.

Now he's able to game again, and he's picked Tarkov to kind of pick up. And I think he's seeing it as hand rehab to some extent. And I have been playing like eight, ten hours a day minimum for three weeks almost now. So I'm real far ahead, and I mostly like to play with myself but for you two gentlemen, I would absolutely team up and we could play together and get some squads together and have some fun because I absolutely love the game and I

have all the keys that y'all are going to need for your quests anyway. You're not going to want to have to deal with that. I'm the fucking key master of the first 40 levels. I'm not bad to play with either. I don't make noise when it's time to be quiet and yeah i play with people who just like non-stop move and shit it's like you're giving away what do you call this genre by the way you guys it's an extraction shooter yeah yeah extraction you

know that i think uh i saw a video about it and i i totally agree that this is the like the end of battle royales um which is true because yeah because like uh like i see how many people play dmz or like want to play dmz in my close circle versus warzone and it just kind of offers way more there's like way more warzone is like you go in and like you could throw your whole life away and that could be that like i've i've gone in on dmz which i'm sure is like a lot and i was playing with tarkov friends but they were like yo we're going in stealth we're doing our mission and we're leaving we went in and we were quiet the entire time did everything we did we didn't even see a single person and the mission took like two times as long as it could have if we were running gunned but we didn't see a single person

nothing bad happened no one shot we got out and we're like, way to go, boys. We're going home to dinner to our families. And it wasn't even a belt. There was no one shot. Was that DMZ? Yeah, we were lying down and letting people go by and not even picking the fights that don't need to happen. So Tarkov's one of those games that you can play it however you like. You can play it as a survival game.

You don't need a gun. You can go in there with a knife and play it as a stealth survival game where your whole mission, make up a mission for yourself. My mission is to get food for the United Nations. I wear my United Nations uniform. I use my knife and my flares and my stun grenades

and I'm in and out with as much food as I can get every time. Dude, that is so boring. You can role play that shit if you want what i like to do is role play a little bit in the aspect that i'm very focused on the missions there is a the game has a story just like any like an rpg does it's just that this rpg there happens to be a bunch of it's a multiplayer rpg is what it is if you think about it because there's other people existing in in that continuous fucking world that that just keeps resetting every time you go in and out of it could you decide your goal and they're all trying to like we all have rpg characters we're trying to get our strength up our our crafting up our metabolisms for god's

sake we're all uh just trying to do it in the same fucking world so it means we're butting heads and fighting each other and killing each other can you choose to like be the the toughest like a known scav do all the scavs look the same or could you be like yeah i'm a scav player and i wear a red hat and people know they see the red hat scav and that guy has looked like 10 different ways so never mind all the same no but you can't see what's good like there's some so you're gonna be a russian in a bubble jacket type vibe or something but there's not like a group of people out there who are like we're the fucking the scab team like we're just the best at this and we fuck you up and we don't even do the missions we just like raid you and steal your stuff yeah that's not how it works now most people just play the game as a shooter and like go in

their frag out honestly and and they're the real reason to do the quest for a lot of people is because they get you, they make it easier to acquire the bullets, the weapons and the armor that you want. They, they make the, they give you quicker access, more access and easier access.

Whereas if you just go in there at level one, you have what you're given to begin with, which is okay. You've got a nice little supply there none of it's really like armor piercing per se which is important but that's it now you go go out in that world and find yourself some good ammo find yourself some good guns like like it's it's up to you you know to to get shit done but if you go through all the the at this point like i buy everything for an incredibly reduced price if If you wanted to build a good AK 47,

your pistol grip, um, RK three, I think is the best one that would cost you 65 or 70,000 rubles. It costs me 9,000 rubles. And, and like that, and just multiply that times every part that's on a machine gun.

And all of a sudden my gun costs me like 150 000 and it's a badass motherfucker yours just cost you 380 000 rubles if you'd lose this you're gonna cry i'll just make another one and another one and another one i saved a preset i click three buttons and another one just shits out onto my fucking screen and i've got so much money i don't notice that it's gone you know it's it's a it's a different experience if you treat it like an RPG, I think, and run through those quests. You need XP to get levels, and you need levels to get traders, and you need traders to get

all that shit I was talking about. Are you any closer to Kappa? Every day you're closer to Kappa. Every day. Do you know the achievement bar? Are you halfway there, or do you not even know? Oh, see, It's hard to... I have a lot to go.

There are some quests that take... Have you done Shooter Born in Heaven? I got two of them. There's a quest in the game. Two of the maps or two of the kills? Two of the kills. What does that mean?

So Shooter Born in Heaven, you have to get I think it's headshots from 100 meters, which is pretty far in game. And you have to get three kills on maybe four or five different maps. I think it might be five now. And it is hard just to get good opportunities to shoot people at 100 meters in the head. I do shady shit, like leaving my backpack in the middle of the road and then shooting you while you're looting. I mean, that's smart.

Or I might kill a guy and not loot him and then just wait for someone else to loot that guy so that I get an opportunity to shoot him while he stands still. That's the sort of stuff you have to do. And you're waiting time, I imagine. It sounds like I'm out of date. Yeah yeah yeah um they made it harder now it's not 100 meters anymore uh it's 125 meters uh and it's three headshots on um most of the maps not interchange anymore thank god but now lighthouse because that's in the map uh in the game so it's uh you know you just gotta snipe. So you just got to snipe.

You've got to put some time and effort into putting yourself into positions where there will be targets at 125 meters to begin with. And that takes some doing, but there's known places to do it on all of the maps where people are going to have to go and do something like open a door with a key. You'd go 125 meters from that door. You lay down. You get yourself some juice literally and real life and game yeah yeah and you sit there on your phone listening in case somebody sneaks up on you and you're just watching that little window on your screen

waiting for somebody to like start going up that spiral staircase and start turning that door and you're like oh god fucking don't miss don't miss don't miss yeah you try to hit your shot at least don't be 40 minutes for nothing i did something stupid last time i went for kappa which is like i think it was you need to get headshots with a bolt action gun from 50 meters and you need to get at the time it was 100 with any gun from 100 meters i was like oh these kills will count as two if i do it with one eye closed to one arm behind my back and that just made it i shouldn't have done it that way it made it too it can be difficult to synergize your quest appropriately to to to balance um getting as many quests simultaneously with making it attainable

because sometimes it's like hey wear this and that use that gun and it's like damn every time i die i have to go buy eight different fucking things because they've got me dancing the silly tightrope but anyway tarkov is a very in-depth game um would love to have both of you to play all three of you to play with me sometimes absolutely there's no reason taylor couldn't play escape from tarkov in a very casual kind of way and i would love that we could all go in with fucking silly kits and like we could go to factory for example where if we go five deep there's only one other human that's allowed on that map we swarm his ass now we own the whole map and we fight ai together as a as a fun little squad i would i would have fun playing i just

i mean with the new pc i gotta play a game super demanding just to have fun with it but like i never i never want to get into i don't want to be a reason that people lose loot like that's like oh no we wouldn't play with you with our loot yeah i don't want to i'm kidding no i'm kidding no you shouldn't i'll call it i accidentally caused a problem what it really comes down to is like if somebody somebody loses their loot, they lost their own fucking loot, right? Like, I got no... If you're a grown-ass man, you're bitching about loot at this point,

I got no patience for you. I've gained and lost so much fucking loot that I don't fucking care. Gained and lost a thousand fortunes. And it's not even the money. There is some etiquette to Tarkov, though. I watched a video today, and there's like three the money. There is some etiquette to Tarkov, though. I watched a video today and there's like three guys playing together and one guy opens an expensive door. The other guy runs in and starts looting the shit and he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my room.

And he's like, you know, he's like free stuff. He's like grabbing. He goes, bam, fucking kills him, kills his buddy or whatever. And he goes, dude, I don't play that shit. Tarkov etiquette and there's a third guy there it's from his perspective he's a streamer and he's just like oh oh no and he goes it's tarkov etiquette dude what are you thinking and other guys i don't know about that horse shit man he's like oh really maybe i won't dump your gear this is my fucking

rig now he's like he goes fuck you i'm taking all your shit and it's like damn a friendship just broke up yeah yeah like these guys went to high school together like like that's it like and i totally get everything that that happened in that moment because i have strong feelings on who was right i'm sorry kyle which side were you saying was was incorrect listen like like some like there's going to be a lot of instances soon where i'm going to open a door for woody and he needs to go in there to get a quest item this is an item that is only there if he has the quest like like he'll be able to see it but i won't it's kind of like ghost and uh and so i i have that i have that rare key you can't even buy this motherfucker you gotta find it and i let him in there well he's not gonna go

start searching the pcs rifling through those dead bodies pockets no no i get that gear because i invested the time energy and sometimes lots of like in-game money into acquiring this key part of that is a little bit by little bit every time i turn it because there's only 40 turns on this bitch i get some value every time i turn it out of the room so that this all makes sense as a you know in my head because it always has to be adding to a profit if kyle was even further along in his progression to the point where money means nothing to him he might gift it he might say woody there's a safe over there it's yours because i'm so wealthy and i know that you know you're a level four you don't have shit but that's the etiquette like like it's for me to give not for him to take it's like he

came to my house makes sense right like like like because you grinded i actually like it'd be fine if you popped in my refrigerator but but i guess like but there are friendships where it's not exactly cool to pop into your refrigerator you know what i mean like there are people you know that if you would have them in your home but you certainly wouldn't you'd be like taking it back if they pulled open your fridge yeah and maybe grabbed like that fresca that you'd been saving or some shit we've all got like that one like fancy soda in the back or oh that's they take one of my glass bottled sodas like oh help yourself like a protein snack that was like five dollars or something yeah they're they're fucking those are individually that's one of the funniest

things i've looked at some there are jokes and that are funny and they have to be crafted i saw this great video of jerry seindl talking about how he writes jokes and he shows his notepads you got to find this video and see how he like crafts jokes a lot of it to him seemed to be like that's five funny words like just getting those together well i mean jerry seinfeld stand up it's not good you know what i mean but well i think but he's talking like writing screenplays like he's talking about screenplay writing oh okay yeah and um but but but i had that instance where somebody was regaling me with a bit of a tale of how they all went on one of it so so we've got like a gaming discord right um i say you know the pka discord but we i game in it so that to me it's

that um and i guess some we've all kind of got a tight-knit group these guys go on trips together in real life now a lot of them do and like they invited this one guy on the trip they didn't know very well and they were talking about how he was like scarfing down the fucking um um the the what's what's the moon pies and yeah the moon pies and the guy was like i had bought those moon pies those were my moon pies he's like there's 12 in a box and and after he ate the fourth one, I said, hey, dude, they're individually wrapped for a reason. And I just thought, like, that's such a good, like, there's no retort to that. You just have to be like.

You just sit there with moon pie on your face. You just avoid eye contact and finish your moon pie and go to bed. No. And like, have you ever had a moon pie? The very idea of a second. It is the most dense forms of sugar. Your mouth would be so dry. Look up a moon pie.

It's like the kind of snack that like truckers get at gas stations when their blood sugar is low. When you need 400 calories of sugar right just now. Okay, because in Canada... Zach, can we have a moon pie picture? Oh, it's a moon pie when you... Hey, let me guess. In Canada, a moon pie is when you cum on a girl's ass. No, that's pretty good, though.

That's what I call it here. I thought you were talking about a half moon because that's what we sell in canada you guys know half moons no i haven't heard of that you could that's when those girls wear those pants where they like okay this is a half moon in canada you see this item you see this item only look at half of it and now take the chocolate off of it oh that's that that's your fucking health care system and work that's what that's that's what y'all pay for in exchange y'all get half the cookie and they take the chocolate but but actually though but actually i it oh my god a thousand

times better than that i'm willing to fuck you no we spent the first 20 minutes of the show trying to figure out what gay is canadian moon pies are gay yeah i mean you haven't pulled it up yet you have to see it you told us i could tell i could tell that those don't have the like like this the half moon's a twinkie it's a flat twinkie taylor do you know what a canadian moon pie is no it's it's when you come in a guy's ass. Gotcha! Now you're gay! Everyone,

leave in the comments that Harley is gay. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone knows he's gay. He's the gayest man in Canada. Finster! Get out of my dreams! People are that well-known. He's the tallest Jew and the gayest canadian

no um the banana the banana moon pie look no that's let me finish now look that banana moon pie one of my favorite childhood treats okay love those fucking things i will say this it's like a popeye's biscuit this thing that inside cookie but if they call it that it is not a cookie it's all but it is a substance that the cookie if you will of this is a substance that you have never put in your mouth before okay it's crumbly and yet spongy it's it's it's tough and yet it sort of melts in your mouth like like cream or nougat or something like that it's bizarre they are not good i do not recommend them um i don't know i was young don't have a moon pie i don't know anything about all these all these things by the way all

of these like you know these types of things like uh snowballs and ho-hos yeah yeah but all of those treats are a billion times better in canada i'm not trying to defend my country's honor like when you guys are making fun of being like no wait the snacks are good i promise you guys um i don't eat swiss rolls in the usa or snowballs or anything that like hostess makes or whatever in the usa they're so drastically different in canada it's crazy and i think i think our half moons exist because what you're right you might be right like per individually wrapped food like the calorie or sugar might be so high that we can only do the half let me ask you this do y'all do the reeses with four cups in the fucking slider we did get that the the it's like uh it has

a fourth cup right what do you mean you did get that you make it sound like it's the iphone 14 like yeah last year dude reeses is the most like no one is innovating in get fat food like rhesus is they have come out with fucking like i don't know but it's a problem quad ones you need giant but it's a problem pretzel ones potato chip reeses you know what i have an issue with it i love reese's pieces i've always loved pieces reese's peanut butter cups that's a littleups. Here's the problem. I want Reese's Pieces. I don't necessarily always want Reese's Pieces with the peanut

in it, and now I can only find Reese's Pieces with the peanut in it. There's no the old school Reese's Pieces at any of my corner stores. They had Reese's Pieces. It's Reese's Pieces with the peanut inside of it. I've never had them.

You know, I like this piece of trivia he's about to give you guys. Yes, I wanna hear. Do you know the trivia already? No, no. I wanted you to ask and then I wanted you to make a guess.

You know it's the E.T. trivia? Yeah. Oh, is it about walkie-talkies? Steven, it's about how a Jew saved Reese's. Steven Spielberg

wanted M&M's. Alright? He wanted M&Mms because that's his favorite candy and uh they were like no we don't we don't that's we're good we don't want it in your weird fucking alien movie and reese's pieces was like yeah hook us up let's do it i bet i bet aliens would love a nice peanut buttery treat and uh and and that really saved the the whole brand it was that iconic scene where they're putting it down and he's following the candy and eating it uh reese's pieces actually reese's was going bankrupt that year they were like they had been in the red for like a decade and it was over and then sales went up like eight

thousand percent after the movie and it never went down after that like yeah now it now it's in the movie it has to be in the fucking movie theater now like like you know every, every time you go to the movie, that's where you get it, Harley. If you actually wanted it, every time you go to the movie theater, that's just quintessential. No, but it's Reese's Pieces with the peanut in it in Canada. I don't understand what you mean. Like actual hard nuts? Like imagine a peanut M&M, but it's a Reese's Pieces, but it's a peanut M&M. I've never had that.

Okay, so that's all we have here. How does it differ from a peanut M&M? Is it's a Reese's pieces, but it's a peanut. I've never had that. Okay. That's all we have here. How does it differ from a peanut M&M? Is he still rolling in YouTube money? It has, it has the peanut butter still. It is a full Reese's pieces. Oh, but it's like a big one.

It's a ball like with a peanut inside of it. Okay. So they take a, they take a peanut and then they cover it with peanut butter. And then they wrap that in chocolate chocolate and then they put that candy coating on the top so it doesn't melt. And you don't want that. I'm not saying I don't want that. I love it.

You've had enough though. That's everywhere. That's all you can get. What the fuck is... I thought it said peanut arachnid. Not only that, another way to say peanut in French is cacaouette. You should be happy that they didn't put caca wet. Is that French for peanut?

Yeah, arrachide. Arrachide. Or so is caca wet. Is it really? Yeah, so is caca wet. You're not taking that in. Caca wet. And tired is fatigué.

So tired is fat and gay, and peanut is caca wet. Trust me, this is the shit we laughed at when we were trying to learn the language i mean french is hilarious i don't think we have any french listeners so we can really go in on them you ever see a frenchman just beaten terribly just for being one lately is there are there hate groups what i'm saying there like what like are there guys at the bar like you know maybe rough guys to begin with but if they heard like someone with that silly accent would they like maybe target him like the rough guys at the bar are french the hell's angels are like all french like you like look up the hell's angels like most iconic

members are the frenchest canadians ever like the most are they intimidating with their french accents the most the number one guy his name was mom that's almost so hardcore it's like right he doesn't even need he's like literally like his name was mom and like he controlled like he just like was all over the news when shit went down damn i didn't know about the huge french biker problem in canada and if you go far if you go far out west it's actually uh there was a lot of brown gang members back in the day like uh no east east indian and uh that helped a lot of like uh that helped in like in a strange way like empower some of the brown kids growing up around me because they were like we could move like gangsters too give me like a like a give me like a bugsy type gangster who's trying to knock over a few banks but he's indian he's like from new delhi oh fuck all right

fuck no let me help you out a little bit let me help you out a little bit let me help you out just i'm gonna help you a little bit while we think about the Indian accent. Those flatfoots are never going to catch him. He's, yeah, yeah. Getting the wheels bad. Yeah, the coppers. The flatfoot in Vancouver is not here. They have no chance at coming back at us. We are too tough.

We are the two toughest gangs in Vancouver. Oi, what the fuck? How do I get to Muggsy Boggs? You're sort of going across the Midwest, like knocking over banks. Kansas City, Missouri. Stick it up. Stick it up. You'll do

the necessary and fill the bag with all of the coins and monies. Now let us get out of here, fellow criminals. Y'all have to agree like this, man. You have a quick video. Hey, do I need to repeat myself before you fill the bag with money? Hey, you over there.

Get your fucking ass on the ground. This is exactly why they looked up to this guy because of the accent you're doing right now you could you could pull it up it's a 15 second clip what he trusts me it's not going to claim the podcast it's a little all right we'll see right harley assures us there's no problems what he knows them oh i'll tell them I'll tell them he knows big tech I'm still around that guy was fucking cool as hell you why was he he was like no that's not mom that's bindi joe how but you'd see him in like interviews and you're like this is crazy brother like rolling up to this like hardcore like street gangster like live and then the canadian news they're like what do you gotta say he's like i'm still around bitch like that shit kind of like uh

kind of hit hard back in the day it's funny what's like they're called the parking stop kings and they just steal your spots they bully you they'll come up to you and go hi you are overweight oh oh my god i got such a question i want to ask you guys after you do your ad read. Oh, yeah. And after that ad read, I want to talk about my Super Bowl ad idea. Okay. After your Super Bowl ad idea, I have a question. Jot that down in the memory book so we know.

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So, the fucking government, guys. You guys couldn't use Death by Gummy Bears because apparently the government, the fucking government, the fucking government. I love when I got the read from them. Like, this is so fucking funny. Like, it's clearly some guy like the fucking government. Someone went in and was like, let's tamp it down a little bit. Leaving the fucking in there. Yeah, this is this is ridiculous.

They the government, their bullshit overreach. They said, get this. They said, you can't put that many drugs in a little gummy bear where where you can't make a mind-altering substance that tiny was that strong where we're a bitch government that's our government folks the government that's our government folks our government went to death by gummy bears they told them believe me they told them they said you cannot get fucked up to this extent now in the america i live you are free to get as fucked as you want on on online orderable drugs and the fact that the government attempt to

step in and not only say you can't do this but shut it down it is despicable real dbg.com promo code pka23 support another government hating institution like death by going bears it's great when you can get two wonderful things hating the government and high as shit all in one so check out real dbg.com and and use promo code pka23 i'm losing my voice i actually had maybe the fucking woody when i first tried a death by gummy right not now now i've had enough of these honestly that i've built up a bit of a tolerance but yeah but when i first tried my first death by gummy i ate what i thought was a third of it some might argue it was closer to a half 30 40 percent of a gummy and i was fucked up and i'm like these are irresponsibly effective this is crazy they're so strong 100 milligrams is in this it was they're so strong

the government was like these gummy bears are too strong man and death by gummy bears said fuck you and then we're rebranding and selling our strongest gummy bears again i don't even take it is wacky weed still? Did that URL change? If you're new to this shit, they have a Wacky Weeds brand. Wonky Weeds. I appreciate that. If you're new to it, then Wonky Weeds is the one for you. If you're a pro,

then Death by Gummies is the one for you. But the government wasn't totally wrong with their like, bro, are you serious? That's what's up it is it is i mean but also like come on the packaging it has like red warnings on it like warning this isn't a snack idiot like you will you'll think that you can vibrate through walls and then like see through time if you take too many of these. Warning, high dosage. Consume with caution is the primary thing written on here. That and the dosage.

Do not operate heavy equipment or motor vehicle after consumption. I will add, people, like Woody said, if you're a pro, you can do it. Even if you are a self-described pro, start with half. Just start with half still just start with half. Still worst case scenarios. You pop the other half and half in like 45 minutes. Like you start with half because it's not the same tolerance. I haven't said this in a few weeks.

It's for people who don't know like HHC, all the Delta, it's not the same exact tolerance as weed. So like my buddy who smokes a shit ton of dabs, weed oil all the time he came over to my house and he took two of these when i told him when i told him not to and he literally like after he told me he was like i just took two of those things and i'm like oh no like you're fucking with me and i told him i'm like start with one He's like, I smoke a ton of weed. And I was like, no, it's not the same, man.

He melted into the couch and he was like, he texted his wife. And he's like, hey, I'm going to have to hang out at Taylor's for like hours longer. He Ubered home. I had to get his car the next day. That's good, though. I'm proud of that. That's how powerful the destruction of or these death by gummy bears are so start with half start with that they're very strong uh code pka 23 for

23 off is it real dbg.com pills and the gummy bears yes sir our sponsors fit our audience at this point we're really killing it it's great because i can look over there on the free sponsorship table and it's like i got all the workout things i got drugs like that oh yeah it's great what else do we need what else do we i think we should just find more drug companies but different drugs obviously not weed because you can't cross pollinate there sex toys yeah no i'm thinking more like if we could get man if we could get sponsored by like by like diet pepsi just didn't just get a bunch of he said to my you should sell woody's ass as a flashlight mold i'm not a cook zero you don't want your ass woody's oh we can sell all of our yeah so people could fuck you and come in you. If y'all want Taylor's,

but not as a fleshlight, I need the entire rump to get the, the famous upper left, upper right cheek part of it. That's what you get. You like, you can buy like those like fake asses that you can be. Yeah.

And it's just my dented awful ass. Taylor, you'll, uh, yeah, you'll do that. If, if,

if the money were raised right uh how would we take a mold how do you take a mold of your butthole so what we would do is we would contact very carefully so you'll have to be you'll have to be like fully shaved back there but but don't worry there's a there's a lady that does that it's fun and uh and we would have to get in touch with one of those companies that actually does this usually for porn stars um but but i remember one time this was a bit on howard stern that went like so many steps that it was like all right it's gonna happen now you know and it's like when when the shit hit the fan the guy was like no because what they were trying to do was to get um eric the midget who was a uh a midget with like in a wheelchair bound midget they were trying to make a full body i said yeah i put that together

they were trying to make a uh like a full body like sex doll of him and they had trying to make a, uh, like a, a full body, like sex doll of him. And they had gotten to the point where it's like, all right, we're going to pay you this much money. This company, it was the real doll people. This is Dave from real doll. He's here.

Oh, you're going to go with Dave. They've like, yes, I, we're going to do this, that, and the other,

we're going to measure. You're going to take moldings and castings. And we're going to get all there. Eric, the midget. Yes. Okay. He's, he's like no no i will not do it because he wants to be a serious actor and through his connections with the show i don't remember which ones but he got on a few like you know those like action shows on tnt i can't think of the names of them but i don't know like some action here

some like secret agent running around like he got in the background of a few shows maybe law and order or something because of his affiliations with the show so and he thought and because of that he's like ah i'm eric the actor now are you no you i'm a serious actor you can't make a sex doll of me but but but you know better than that so what was the amount of money that you would need do you think to to go through the whole molding process? Let's just say we're going to fly you into San Diego. We're going to call it a four-day weekend. Okay, you're going to get molded.

We're going to need a full rear end, okay? And I believe the fans would prefer, Taylor, if you had a vagina and a rectum, for the doll's sake. I don't have a vagina. We will pick one for you. Actually, this is barely real anymore. Well,

you can mold my dick. I'm good with like, Oh, pop my dick in a mold. Oh, I see. I'm trying to avoid that because I want to be part of the mold team. And,

and I thought we'd, there'd be a lot of imagination. I'm only doing, you have to handle the mold of my well you've stumbled right into my plot I have a

I like reveal this is a green screen there's like guys back there being molded right now it's like fuck he called my bluff i don't know the process for taking a rectum mold but can you throw in a colonoscopy while you're back there because i'm getting older it's just gonna tear everything out like when you pour molten silver in an ant my ampule just pull all that what he used to have palms but now you're fine i mean but actually i would need final right of

refusal because i don't know what my butthole looks like and if it's like just an absolute travesty of a butthole and it's very unappealing looking then it would cost more money are you worried about the anus the the exterior part of your butthole or the canal that i'd be fucking oh my god he's clearly worried about the exterior appearance of my butthole or the canal that I'd be fucking? Oh my god, he's clearly worried about the exterior appearance of his butthole. Because the inside would just be rubber. It's not like they're

searching up into my... I need that thing to be textured just like you. I want it to be ribbed. It would ruin the fantasy otherwise. Or like ribs with little dots along the ribs you know when you buy like a Stoya the Destroyer

flashlight is it the same as her vagina they mold her no not on the inside you get the exterior everyone gets the same inside that's not true yes it is it's not though

I'll go to the mats on this when you the different fleshlights have different insides but the inside is not based on the person they're they're one of like three or four options you can choose from i believe yeah it's just like ribbed for for texture and stuff like there's okay here's here you probably didn't like fill her up like one of those silver ants. This is hilarious. I don't know if you can show this, but it's on Amazon. I want my money back!

Look at the photo. That is not what the inside of a pussy looks like with all of its geometric scales. I have been lied to! Oh, Jesus Christ. That's the actual story of the story. If I had known what it looked like exactly, then I would have known. That's the actual story of the story. If I had known what it looked like exactly, then I would have known.

That's not a 8-bit. And two of those canals are wasted on me. Yeah, you're getting the appearance of her vagina. And they take a whole mold of the outside of her vagina very carefully, and it looks exactly like it. But that's as far as the reality goes in, mold of like the outside of her vagina very carefully and it looks exactly like it like but that's as far as the the reality goes in the mold so are there people do you think that have or i guess there must be if they're doing this who are like about to beat off for the evening

and they're like whom i'm gonna fuck stoia instead of trisha yeah trisha that slut i'm going no it like if you spend enough time on Reddit, you'll see people's collections sometimes of crazy shit, and sometimes they'll be like, yeah, I got a big pile of toys. Whoa, what is that? How many of those do you have? Oh, who buys more than one?

Who buys more than one? They'll have like... How can it be any different? I have almost every Le leatherman you can buy people do that with the flashlights too they just collectibles what is the pokemon you gotta collect them all it'll be like the whole ad they'll have like the full like it's it looks like you butchered a human right because you've got like a little of their lower back their whole ass and then like and then like six or eight inches of thigh and then just you've got it's that's lopped off too so you've got it so it's there's no head no it's just it's

just ass and holes that's what like and the point and the best part is like i can't believe there aren't women's groups who are like look what they've boiled us down it's the opposite i mean i have a minute amount of internet expertise on this there's a subreddit called chick flicks and i think it ends with like three x's but whatever you'll find it and if you're a guy you are not allowed to post in this thing you can subscribe but you are view only in this and the girls trade their favorite porn videos back and forth guys fucking just basically pussies and asses like you know rubber ones are one of their more popular videos girls go bonkers to watch guys fuck that stuff at least these girls do i say i just checked what they have there and the top post of this month is respectful gangbang. MMMMMMF.

That's hilarious. The foof is that hair that you end up on your tongue at the end of the night. You're not sure where it came from. She's a blonde. How many M's were there? Five? Like five, six.

Respectful gang bang. Do you mind if I come on your tits, m'lady? They all have fedoras. Let's see what's respectful about this. Are people wearing top hats? This is so far from respectful. Dogfart.com. BBC slut Vanessa Vega squirts during gangbang.

Taylor, after seeing that, do you wonder what her last gangbang. This is disrespectful. Taylor, after seeing that, do you wonder what her last gangbang was like? Like, how bad was the last one? Pornstar barely escapes with life after Russian pulls out knife and demands blood sacrifice. Like, what else could... Yeah, this isn't respectful. But it does have a lead up,

which I imagine... This is 50 minutes long? God! Do women not have jobs? What's happening? No, they don't. Who's beating off for 50 minutes long? God, do women not have jobs? What's happening? Who's beating off for 50 minutes? I think when you buy 50 minutes of that video, you're only going to watch it all the way through once.

You know what I mean? You're going to press play, jerk off, come, and however far you got in, that's where you stop it. And next time, oh, I remember where you stop it. And next time, oh, I remember where we were. Alright. Yeah, Ricardo. Ricardo had just entered the scene. I remember

now. Caliente! Let's go. Eric, the pool boy. We just got introduced to him. I wonder if he's going to come into play later. Check off, pool boy. God damn it, Eric. That's way too much chlorine. I think that's a saltwater pool. Well, now look,

his dick's hanging out the bottom of his shorts and people are noticing. Oh, the horror. Respectful gangbang. That's so funny. I skipped through it. That was like indifferentiable. Like if they had titled that like brutal gangbang,

you'd be like, yeah, sure. Like, like it's hardly good i'll be right back you wrote it's like not not like spitting on her face harley's grandmother was a midget and so when i brought up when i brought up little people it was it was hurtful for him and he needed to take a moment to think about that little quiet time for him i noticed a little time three of us all talked about the pour-off, and the Jewish guy remains totally quiet. He just didn't want to make us feel bad because of how hard he had it coming up. No, there was only two refrigerators in the parents' kitchen.

I mean, there was an icebox, but that doesn't count. And I would never steal poor valor these are my grandparents it's not like i inherited like oh no water oh i know i didn't deal with it that's one of the like i went to a house one time and i that's how i knew that like these were rich people because they had appliances i'd never heard of they had they had shit i'd never seen but like i don't know like one of the things i saw was um not not exactly how i described it but um um like their oven was a double wide double tall up it was like what are you a fucking chef nah you know why not and the refrigerator was one of those built into the cabinet refrigerators. Who makes this?

What model is this? Who makes it? Who's the company I'm thinking of with all the built-in refrigerators? They're really expensive. Train. There were two of those. But then I wanted some ice and they're like, no, no, no. The ice box is right over there.

You go over on the cabinet or not the cabinet but the um the counter which was incredibly long the cat you could the counter must have been eight ten steps long down this long wall where the double stove was but you lifted the counter up and there's just like an ice machine there that makes that nice little tiny uh like like uh ice that everybody loves from restaurants it's just continuously making it underneath the counter you just fucking scoop your glass i was like why do you have this like 1800 ice machine just for just in case we need some tiny pebble ice yeah pretty much yeah these are the kitchen items that impress me when the like burners are not on top of the oven part.

I don't know my baking things. But it's like the oven is built into the cabinet, but the cooktop is somewhere else. That's impressive to me. When the refrigerator is built into the cabinetry and you have to kind of spot the big doors. I'm impressed by that. When instead of a trash can, you have a trash compactor built into the cabinets. I like that. I think that might be old school rich, though. I've oh am i out of date on that i think that that's like the fanciest beeper kind of situation at this point i think i could be wrong because i've just

never seen a trash i've never seen that like i remember we had one like in 88 yeah but i'm pulling back the the memory banks what else we have wood paneling and wallpaper, too. What else is impressive in a kitchen? What would make you say, like, oh, this is a good one? A steel gun, a water steamer. Have you seen those? The things that get me would be you got to have a wine cooler because that's just easy. But I want a centralized stove with the centralized venting right above right above it like it's a fucking hibachi restaurant and like there i you know

you could be like emerald legassi and have like six of your friends sit around you and prepare on that on that top that thing is cool i've seen some like youtube chefs with um what's it something it doesn't matter i've seen some cool situations like that but again like like the refrigerator refrigerator oh that's one of my pet peeves i really don't like when people say yeah i dropped the re i i that that's upsetting is fridge okay yes it's it's perfect fridge is my preferred and refrigerator refrigerator is second and refrigerator is did i say that i meant to say refrigerator oh i don't know no i said refrigerator. Who says refrigerator?

Is that a southern thing? Wing says refrigerator, and people like wing say refrigerator. Let's just leave it at that. Fair enough. Okay. Fat people, yeah. No, no. Oh. People who need to save

a syllable every once in a while. They're making so many visits and mentioning it. I use many words when few words do. People who don't use the R in library, that one brand new. Let's go to the library. Nah, I can't. My legs hurt.

Call the ambulance. I went to school with a girl who said ambulance and she never got it right. Ambulamps. Oh no, she said ambulance and she never got it right ambalamps oh no she said ambulance oh so so i'm referencing the video where um the all epic beard man fucking ko's that oh yeah over that stacy adams spit shine that's a good that's a deep reference i'm laying down for you right now it's stacy adams spit shiny one. How much to shine him Stacey Adams? And dude just kept coming.

And like this was this guy was just waiting. Right. Then his shirt said, I'm a motherfucker. His. Yeah. This muscled up. This is this is old school Internet. So like the Gen Z people might not know this.

So go back and grab this. This of Internet old. Epic beard man will help. Epic beard man. His shirt says, i am a motherfucker and he's he beats the shit out of that do you like a six five vietnam vet they made a danny trejo movie about him yeah and then they made a sequel that's even more ridiculous where he like badass it's called badass and he and they make it so that he like stops some gang violence on the bus or some shit but then he's like you know what maybe i'll just make a thing

of this and like start cleaning up the whole neighborhood or whatever yeah with danny trejo i like it when two people get into a fight and they both think that it's obvious they will win it like that's i love that when one guy is a little like, Oh, well I got to save face. That's no fun to watch, you know? Or when one guy's like,

well, I always, I never backed down. So I hope for the best. I mean, the guy that he beats up on the bus, like remember in the end and he beat up guys like sitting there on the bus and his face is bleeding, but not in a dripping way in like a constant stream of blood way.

And like and now like all the people who were formerly were there people on the bus yelling like kick his ass, like about the guy, like kick that old man's ass, which like first of all, like get your life together, screaming, encouraging fights on the bus with elderly people. And so it was great to see that piece of shit who was going after an elderly guy get absolutely shit-canned. It seemed like the people rooting for the younger guy were doing it along race lines. Because the younger guy was kind of trying to bully the big white old guy. Yeah.

Well, he was. And then the old guy was like, yeah, fuck you. I'm Vietnam Tom. Apparently, based on his name. Do you want my Super Bowl commercial idea, or do you want a question about a thing from movies?

Both. Both. Super Bowl lead. Alright, so here's what I want. This is the new Snickers commercial. Alright? You got Michael Richards. Kanye West. You're not yourself when you're hungry. You're not yourself when you're hungry, and Michael Richards. Kanye West. You're not yourself when you're hungry. You're not yourself when you're hungry.

And Michael Richards is going to forgive Kanye for all that shit he said. And Kanye is going to, they're going to become each other. They're going to switch. Like when they eat the Snickers. Through black and white face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. They're going to like be there.

But Kanye is going to be like being his. Or change clothes. Yeah, yeah. They'll just like switch places. You know, you've seen the commercials. You know, you're not yourself when you're hungry. You eat the Snickers. they're going to like be there, but Kanye is going to be like being his change clothes. Yeah. They're just like switch place. You know, you've seen the commercials, you know,

you're not yourself when you're hanging to eat the Snickers. I act like Michael Richards when he's not having a Snickers and Michael Richards acts like Kanye when he's not having Snickers. I said the clothes thing, cause that's how I know they switch bodies. You know, like, like, yeah,

sure. That's a very good idea. I like, or you can even rip it off even further and just have a literally like, start it with a Hitler speech where it's like, I do shine us on the side and hold us hidden. And then like someone walks up and he's like, my viewer gives him a Snickers and then he bites it.

And it's like Kanye snaps out of it. What was I saying? No, no, no. It's all that when you're hungry. He gives a Snickers candy bar bar i'm not allowed to say what kind it has nougat and peanuts it's covered in chocolate i like i like what you did there that was good handing uh handing hitler a snickers yeah and he like after his whole speech and then he takes a bite and he's like oh my god

is that what i've been doing to people i'm horrible and then he shoots himself in the head in the bunker and it's like you're not yourself when you're hungry that's actually a really good one too man we gotta approach the mars corporation we got really good one, too. We got to approach the Mars Corporation. We got a good one. We got some ideas. Picture this 4K Adolf Hitler. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You won't even be able to tell the difference. Bring Adolph in. Bring Adolph in. Found some Argentinian who looks shockingly like him.

Oh, no. That would be the best. The whole Argentinian thing is funny. Not funny. It's intriguing. I don't buy that. I don't think Hitler escaped. I don't buy it either, but it's intriguing and it's fun to think the same way it's fun to think maybe one of those gigantopithecuses

not to modern day, but maybe live long enough that our ancestors have myths about them that are based on meeting them because like if if our like great great great great great great grandfather keep adding them m's like that yeah earlier um you know if he ran into a fucking bigfoot and they killed them all because they were smart and had spears and shit but it was hard because they were fucking smart and gigantic they'd have tales of the giant ape men and you know that native americans like were like yeah we used to talk about the giant ape men but nobody's seen one for 10 000 years those things lived here 10 000 years ago yeah they were they were here they were real wait do we where have we found like we found a good set of bones of one of those guys? I think what they do is they go by the teeth

and they just extrapolate from there. That seems like... If you find a human molar or an ape molar that's like... You take an ape's molar and then you take the gigantopithecus molar and then you can be like, oh, alright, we'll just do a little math

here and we'll figure out how big he was, i don't think so because i mean like they they pulled that shit for years they just figured out dinosaurs had feathers like 10 years ago was there a brand new discovery like they were they had all that other stuff to extrapolate from and they got it wrong and now they're the other big birds which i personally i think they should have kept that under wraps keep them lizards keep them let me ask you this when did uh when did science this you know figure out dinosaurs when when was the word dinosaur used for the first time when did humans for the first time in human history find a dinosaur bone a fossil whatever you want to call it and say ah a dinosaur bone one of those giant lizards that lived millions of years ago when do you think that was the happened for the first time it was the mid to late 1800s wasn't it yeah yeah yeah it was those two guys in their bone wars

where they like were constantly at war trying to come up with better discoveries isn't that weird yeah they would they would sabotage each other's discoveries and then a dude would be like there's this great discovery and then he'd reveal it and the other guy would be like actually i faked the whole thing and look how stupid he is for falling for it. They thought they were fucking dragons and shit. I mean what else are you going to think? It kind of makes sense. You've heard about dragons throughout cultures from China

to everywhere. See that's the weird thing though. But it has to be more than the... Yeah but they wouldn't arrive on the same thing. It's weird that all those cultures across the world uh have dragons i've seen like some of those creepy youtube videos with like why do all of these cultures across the world have depictions of dragons and they show you like carvings of dragons real quick and you're like oh dragons are scary

could it be that dragons of lore live on to modern day and it's like fuzzy pictures of like lox ness like a shadow that might be a like a uh the the crook of an umbrella and then a branch and you're like shit i don't know maybe where would they be maybe in the deepest part here this is discovery channel no it's like you know the dragons wouldn't live in the sea deepest part. This is Discovery Channel? No. You know the dragons wouldn't live in the sea. Yeah, that's a wyvern. Yes. Is it wyvern or wyvern? I always thought it was wyvern. I thought it was wyvern.

Yeah, you guys might be right. In Canada, it's wyvern. In Canada, it's wyvern and they're only half as big. There's no partially hydrogenated soybean oil in it. No chocolate coating on the wyvern. All those

Canadian wyverns. I'm glad they went extinct. I'm glad they went extinct. The only good thing about Canada, as far as I can tell other than harley here um and maple syrup and uh and and your assistance during operation desert storm thank you sir appreciate that um i didn't know did you know how many canadians were there just getting friendly fired in uh and

operation desert storm no we friendly fired a lot of them. Most of the casualties and damage that we sustained were either friendly fire or accidents. We lost several Abrams I read today because there was a fire. And the soldiers got poisoned because when an Abrams

burns, guess what its armor's made out of, Taylor? Arsonene. Snake. Oh, you wish! Oh, you wish! You wish! Worse.

Oh, I have an idea. Our brand new fentanyl tank. Parts of the Abrams because we needed a take our our tanks fucking armor is made out of depleted uranium because it's it's so dense not depleted enough well when it burns or when it breaks it's it you know it poisons the gulf war syndrome nobody knows exactly what it's because they talk about the burn pits but there's like eight other things that happened there um there were we airstruck the chemical plants so sarin nerve gas

was leaked out and as well as mustard gas over 95 000 servicemen were exposed just from that and then you keep in mind that they were burning the oil wells the whole time and that's what does that make dioxin so they're all just getting soaked in dioxin all day you see uh in that movie jarhead jake gyllenhaal is covered in the oil and they're all like yeah fuck yeah simplify or whatever those people say yeah they're big no he's gonna get totally being poisoned the other thing was they thought they were they were under constant fear of being hit by chemical weapons because george bush had really pumped that up. This is OG Desert Storm for the Gen Z guys. This is the first one.

You lived through Part 2, maybe. So there were reports of dead goats and livestock, and this stoked the fears among U.S. and Canadian and allied servicemen, we'll call them, that not only was nerve gas being used, going to be used, but it was under current use. Like, we're in nerve gas now. It could be drifting on to us now, now, now.

Five minutes from now, five minutes ago. We don't know. So they're anti-nerve gas pills. You can take them for like three days, and then you have to stop for a day. And then you can start back again and there's a very specific dose because this isn't a like a like a multivitamin it's to keep nerve gas from killing you so you know if it has some other side effects that's okay because nerve gas was the alternative yeah these guys are so afraid they're taking them constantly overdosing constantly and it was a

common thing not just just Ted and Jim. The whole unit everywhere where they're, look, guys, it's coming. It's coming. Look at the goats. They're all dead. I don't know. Maybe the goats just got shot or didn't get fed for a while or whatever. Meanwhile, they're all poisoning themselves with that.

Nobody knows what causes Gulf War Syndrome. Well, it's got to be one of those things. Well, probably all those things right uh i i i i saw the side effects of um overdosing on the anti uh nerve agent is pretty much analogous to gulf war syndrome so you you might nail that down but then again there's the burn pits where they were burning all sorts of like nasty hazardous things and then ammunition as well and those friendly fire incidents you got to keep in mind if like a bradley opened up on i don't know a canadian tank or whatever happened that shit happened occasionally the ammo that's splattering it's depleted uranium too

like we spare no expense we're we're so far ahead of the whole you know defense budget spending thing we shoot we shoot bullets that that the other countries can't afford like they wouldn't know what to do with them in some situations right like even those things those uh that rocket artillery that we're giving ukraine it's like 75 grand a shot each shell boom boom boom because they hit within three meters of whatever the fuck they want like 20 kilometers away or something and they and it's not just one big boom oh we made a big hole on the ground and killed anything near it it like air bursts with like uh tungsten carbide projectiles that are all like shotgun pellets but but they're moving so fast, Taylor. That's like mean-spirited.

Not like a gun. They're moving hyper speeds, so they're cutting through tanks. Not slow, like a gun. No. Exactly. Exactly. We're talking about maybe 10,000 feet per second,

maybe 20,000 feet per second. I don't know. We're bordering upon turning into pure energy bro science has gone due for got it i got vaccinated five times i still got covid you know what the last tremendous thing that science did okay well actually okay zv was pretty good diet pepsi it's gonna be aspartame as a whole. The artificial sweetener aspartame. They've come up with 15 different artificial sweeteners. Cheers.

I need to grab it. I'm using a zero. I'm using a zero mod. So it's not aspartame. I think zero means that it's stevia based. Diets are aspartame. And I think zero sodas are stevia. I didn't even know.

I didn't know. Because I get that kind of diet root beers. Coke zero tastes different. Yeah. So I have diet root beer. I like the even know. I didn't know. Cause I get that kind of diet root beers. Coke zero tastes different. Yeah. So I have diet root beer and I normally prefer. I got it in the fridge right now. I like the zero sugars, but this is a zero sugar one. I actually like diet root beer better than zero sugar A and W.

They are different, but I like Coke zero better than diet Coke these days. I did not know that about the Stevia thing, but I guess it makes sense. You're a Pepsi guy, right? I like Diet Pepsi. Yeah, I did the Pepsi challenge on this other podcast. Binge eater podcast. My podcast. You guys should come on sometime, please.

And I did the Pepsi challenge. You ever done that? I've never tried it, but I think I get it right. Don't you think you would do it? Yeah, because Coke has more flavors of vanilla, and Pepsi has more flavors of citrus. Yeah, I lost. I guessed wrong.

Wait, how do you lose the Pepsi challenge? Well, the Pepsi challenge is just supposed to be like that you don't care. I was trying to guess. I drank two unlabeled sodas, a Coke and a Pepsi, and I guessed them wrong, and I thought never in a million years would I guess those two wrong. Were in a cup because i would want i'd want they were both in a glass i'd want to be blindfolded and i would have to open the can i need to taste no because you're like i feel like you pick up the can you're like this is a pepsi okay well then they can like that's

a pepsi i have to hear them they can go like that for me but it has to be freshly opened i could tell i know i could i could win the Pepsi and the Coke challenge. I was just humbled. I was humbled by it, by the whole experience. I don't really buy Coke. Whoa! Vanilla Coke Zero. A new challenger arises. Kyle, does the back of that

say that it has stevia or aspartame? For the Zero. And what was it called? Diet or zero? Zero. Harley says it'll be stevia. I thought they were all aspartame. Put it to the test. Aspartame.

The good one. I'm a liar! Not on purpose, though. It also contains phenylalanine. Phenylalanine. That always is there. It contains phenylalanine. Phenylalanine. Yeah, that always is there. It's like contains phenylalanine. And it's like the fact you're telling me that on every can of soda I drink

and I drink nine of these a day, ten of these a day, like that can't be a good amount of phenylalanine to be eating, right? What is the FDA recommended amount of phenylalanine? They don't recommend replacing all of your liquid aside from this is all like these of water a day really like protein i have you ever had a kidney stone that's a thing they say never that's a lie so anybody doesn't tell you it doesn't make you hungry that's a thing they say i mean i how would i how would i know it's all it's hard to do ab tests yeah yeah are

your people more hungry because you live on the mountain no we are hungry because we work hard like i don't know why i get you know what i mean like how am i gonna connect that one um i'll say this it's all i drink it's all i've been drinking for years um the whenever um if you see me with a water bottle it's not even water most of the time it's unsweet tea like i'm drinking just like i would go to uh i still go to publics and they they have uh a gallon of unsweet tea for like a dollar or something and i just fill that fucking uh you know thermos up with it and put some artificial sweetener and like a half a lemon and i go through so many of those a day but i drink at least 12 packets a day every single day this

and coffee is all i drink and no never had a kidney stone and i've been drinking soda like that my entire life uh i've never really drank sugar soda but like in my household uh it's probably the most white trash thing about us we drank nothing but diet pepsi what we didn't drink a lot my dad well water my house my mom's house too i'm glad you said kidney stones and you just have a fucking awesome urethra that passes them without trouble i mean i get bloody peas like on thursdays but i thought that was just because all the coffee and we all need blood normally yeah um you know i i it's just like you get that sleep you know in the corner of your eyes you know we all get that from our penises of course too all day every day um so it's just a float what

if i was just peeing like grains of rice my entire life and i just thought that was normal like chris you might want some penicillin so yeah look i'm not recommending the fucking uh coke zero lifestyle per se but it's all i drink and and and anybody who said either i have some special ability to not get kidney stones which seems silly or soda has nothing to do with kidney stones you're gonna get them if you're genetically predisposed to them the same way you're gonna go bald or you're going to get them if you're genetically predisposed to them. The same way you're going to go bald or you're going to get fat, probably. Like some people, like calories in, calories out. But sometimes you can look at a lady's mother and figure out, you know, sometimes you can, you know, the writing's on the wall,

genetically speaking, as far as some things go. Not always. And you can will your way out of anything. Who's the super athlete, the endurance athlete goggins maybe oh yeah yeah the black guy david goggins david goggins thank you he's a super athlete i always thought of him as the mentally ill person thank you sure sure he kind of is you see his feet have you seen his feet no i don't think i have zach pull up you can probably show the like video it's like his social media you know what i mean they're all they might be all fucked up right yeah david joggins feet they are the guy that's

like i wake up before a.m and i run in the rain and if it's snowing even better he's like some of y'all was freaking out some of y'all's freaking out because you saw my wife my feet on my wife's tiktok making fun of david's feet your feet don't look like this huh these man's feet these man's like or whatever like way of defending the fact that he only has three toenails to his name or whatever like those are not right look at those where all right so you've probably gotten that i love how you didn't like the tongue but this you're like zoom in enhance that. So here's what's interesting to me. I like kind of analyzing this and sort of, sort of deducing what's caused this to happen. And I think it's clear,

like we've probably all gotten that blister on the inside of our big toe there when we've been like hiking too much or like that is a wear spot. Like you put weight there when you're trying to keep it off the other side too. And like, you can see he's just built up armor there. And on his other toe, he's like, yeah, the toenail fell off. And it won't even go back anymore because I'm harder that way. And the other toenail is like, you know what? My toe is so fucking hard that I'm hanging in there because I'm harder than my fucking toe is.

Your toe is the bitch toe. I'm turning black. That's how hard I am. I look at the same thing. Take his left foot, which is to the right of the picture. You see the two toes that are damaged on the fronts?

I think that when you run, maybe he's like the foot comes down and gets that forward pressure and it's smacking the toe of his shoe. That's what I think that is from. The top of his toes, though, baffles me. Is he crawling a lot? Can I interject? Yes.

I think what it is, I know he's had several. Zach says he hasn't grown toenails, but that's a product of what he does to them and poor maintenance. You can get those taken care of you go to a pedicure person but a manicure he has ran on broken feet before and just bound them tightly

and so they've healed in funny ways from breaks and not just the standard breaks that we probably all three of us have a broken toe we just don't realize it because when you break a toe if you've ever stubbed your toe going around a corner of your pinky and it hurts so goddamn bad, you almost teared up as a grown man. You probably just broke your toe and it's going to heal up and it'll be all right. I've broken my toes. I dropped a bowling ball on my toe once.

Nothing you can do for a broken toe. You just like maybe put one of them stupid splints on it. He like pulverized his by dropping a bowling ball, i feel like that's different than like hitting i've stubbed my toe i must have broke the same toe like three times in one week before even yeah that guy's had his but you can see he's had broken feet and he's bound them up and then ran 50 miles on him or something he might have a toenail that we're not giving him credit for. Zach, can you bring it back? Oh, he has like a base of it a little bit. Yeah. I thought I saw an entire toenail on his big toe that I originally thought was gone.

The black one has toenail for sure. The black part is. But I thought the others like that blackness is toenail. That's like dead blood under there. The one on the right, that's a toenail. I'm looking at the left. So that is damaged. But in front of it is an intact toenail that's like dead blood under there like the one on the right i'm looking at the left so that is damaged but in front of it is an intact toenail right no no you think that smooth pink thing in the front is toenail i'm not putting money on it no no i know that's what the tip of

his toe just looks like now can you enhance and zoom zach i want to know i think that's where a nail used to be now scroll down thank you oh look at that csi style baby that ain't nail now rub your cursor where we're talking about zach it's on that pink part on the no no no no lower lower lower that's the culprit that is not nail i now agree with you because he has it on the other side uh-huh uh-huh that's just a polished nub on the front of his toe oh yeah you don't think that was the old nail location like that skin still exists no that's ripped and still the nail ends before then um that's a man there he's done some crazy shit he had the for a while he had the chin up

content uh world record or maybe pull up whatever it doesn't matter i mean it does but he had one of them and then uh that kid beat him uh and then all of those crazy running uh feet cities and then he was a navy seal and he used to be morbidly obese like there's so many wild things about that dude david coggins what are you running from there's something wrong with you this level of activity was fat and he went to the to the navy seals and they turned him away for not passing the physical so he like went crazy over it and was like how did i fail the physical and you know what he'd say i'm not running from anything it's running from me i gotta go i mean there's something i guess maybe there's something wrong with a lot of great people, right?

Jeff Bezos, why do you need more money? Why are you still working? What are you doing? Elon Musk, why do you need more money? He's answered that. He wants to make us a two-planet species. Maybe he's answered that. David Goggins, you're not just keeping in shape

you're not trying to remain fuckable david goggins you're not even like as far as i know competing in anything that like people are watching the man's married and he's like a you know social media influencer type star i'm sure he's making tons of money by staying relevant by physical feeding his way through the world i i don't even get it i don't like why aren't you like sitting on a park bench telling people about the things that you've already done that's what you should be doing david coggins that's my advice he's demonstrating his exceptionalism to inspire those who need it i you have to see he's sick, though, right? Yeah, you have to see that.

When you have a broken foot and you run a hundred miles on your broken foot, you're sick. You're not finishing your hockey game. This is something different than that. He's sick. You're sick. And David's a cure.

Let me give you a little tip, Woody's Gamer Tag. Start running. David Dogg gets up too heavy to run. If you saw him on social media and he was just like, I'm coming for you right now. I'll give you a little head start, let you know. I'm coming from Connecticut. I'm coming.

And he meant it. He was like, I'm heading your way right now with what I got on he's on live stream and you know he means it and it's funny at first but the next day he's in like Delaware or whatever's below

Connecticut and you're counting the eastern seaboard up if you can it's like honey we gotta go to georgia would you live the rest of your life you get 10 million dollars but wherever david goggins is right now he's starting to run to you and if he touches you you and your family die he can only run he can only run so if you go to the other ocean the other side of the ocean he's gonna run from the ocean he's going to run from the ocean. He's going to start running along the ocean floor.

Yeah, I know he has that ability. Can I take it? He was a Navy SEAL. Of course he can go. Yeah, see. See. You think the Atlantic Ocean can stop David fucking. Is he what?

Is he tagged? Like, do you know where he is? No, you don't know where he is. That's the thing. He's starting right now. You don't know where he is. Oh, that's a big problem, you don't know where he is. That's the thing. He's starting right now. You don't know where he is. Oh, that's a big problem. I need to know where he is.

I need to know where he is. No, no. You're going to assume that he's not in Australia, probably, strategically. Go to Australia and, like, literally wait, like, a month and a half and hope that he's not that fast. How motivated is he to find me? I got this one. The most motivated he's ever been in his life. How much money?

Will he kick my door down? How much money? He said kick my door down? How much money? He said 10 million. Okay. Will he need to stop and rest and eat and such? Or is it essentially a kill bot with the foot speed of David Goggins? It's David Goggins. It's the man David Goggins.

Yeah, but he's in kill bot mode. So he doesn't really need to eat that much or drink that much. He sleeps four hours a day. I don't even know how much he sleeps. Well, that's the thing. Less than you. We don't even know how much he sleeps right now. Yeah, less than you.

Less than all of us. Same as he does now. David Goggins hates sleep. Takes a little nap. He hates it. Another pisses David Goggins off like a nap. I could be running. He could look

like anyone. That's too crazy. I'm joking about that part. Here's how you beat David Goggins. All right. Groucho Marx. Now he's just a thing. Would you survive the thing?

The answer is no. Here's how you beat scary, infinite running David Goggins who sleeps three hours a day and never stops. That's just get David Goggins, yeah? Essentially David Goggins, but aquatic David Goggins with gills. He's Kevin Costner

from Waterworld, but David Goggins. He has the boat and he's coming. Okay, I think that cool, is it a trimaran is that what you call it yeah it's badass um watch that world water world um i think that you need to get somewhere where you can see for like miles like you need to be able to see for like the horizon and you gotta stake out there and wait until david goggins gets there you want to pick somewhere central america likeid goggins gets there you want to pick somewhere central america like wherever you think he is you want to get as close to that as possible what is he allergic to it doesn't matter most of that because what you've got to nail down is

where is david goggins we got to find him and once we see him coming we're gonna be like oh shit he's here obviously we can get in the car now and drive to the airport that's dangerous bro he has eyes on you that's dangerous we got to be has eyes on you. That's dangerous. We got to be on a tower with fucking lookouts. We got a team, right? We got thermal imaging. We got to be serious about this. Maybe we're in the middle of a lake.

It's true. You have $10 million. You can start loaning from your $10 million. Yeah. You hire five guys 24 hours a day. They got you. They'll spot them coming a mile away. If you pick the right spot, go to the salt flats right you know something like that and so now we

got him nailed down so now we just go to the airport fly to fucking europe and we got a timer right we can do the math like oh we don't know how much he sleeps all right well let's just assume zero sleep multiply david speed david goggin speed by you know the distance do a little math we're like all right you're going like intellectual like you know, the distance. Do a little math. We're like, all right. You're going, like, intellectual. Like, you're on the helicopter, like, hovering over him while he's chasing a helicopter. You're timing his steps to see how long it would take him to get to Australia should you go. Well, I know that he, look, his top speed is no more than 22 miles per hour. If he's sprinting at, like, Olympic sprinter speeds, he's around 25 or something.

If he's in sprinting distance, you're fucked.'re fucked like there's no you have to get out of calculating how much time we have if we go to amsterdam and have if he sees you he's gonna turn on some some juice here i feel like that's very scary if he gets like if you're on pavement and you turn around and he note and you're just both on pavement and he's half a mile behind you and he uses his Navy SEAL eyes to discern it's you from the shadows of the heat refracting off the hot sidewalk.

Would you take the $10 million but Elon Musk now wants to ruin your life? No. No. Have you killed? He could ruin my life with a tweet. Yeah, but that's or something ruin my life with a tweet yeah but that's like he will not break a single law he will not that's not ruining my life he kills me that's like releasing me from

my life he won't break a single law and now you can haunt him yeah uh no i would do that i think he uh i think he would um make me look good yes i'll do it here's what he would do here's what he would do. You get your $10 million, right? Name, where are you going to live after that? My house, my mom's house. Next door to Elon Musk. Keep your enemies close. Guess what? Your neighbors are

all your neighbors' houses. Guess who owns them now? Elon Musk owns your whole neighborhood now. You know what the new homeowners association rules are like here? A lot of sirens all the time. you know what happens after three infractions of the homeowners association you get we can foreclose on your home if you're a member of the homeowners association punishment by caning elon musk will have your mom's house in a in a fortnight right he wouldn't yeah he'll have every house around it, but not my mom.

No, I just laid out how he takes your house. That's not possible. That's not possible. It's absolutely possible. You can absolutely do it. I think your mom's mailbox is out of compliance. Yep. It doesn't matter.

Three infractions. That's not how it works, bud. Dude, all he has to do, he just needs to hire a a david goggins level seal to sneak into your house and put child pornography on your computer no no crimes yeah he would have he's not going to have the crime david goggins he would have to that's a crime that's conspiracy to child pornograph somebody he has to change all the rules he has to change all those i'll tell you my mom my mom is not only gonna not break any of

the homeowners association rules the mailbox would never be out of compliance my mom is not like me at all she'll keep her shit in order and i actually think that creates more from you you you gave an example that would create more problems for elon musk he has to sit down at homeowners board meeting he doesn't do any of my mom no no, no, no, no, no, no. No, he doesn't. No, he hires. What Elon Musk does is he hires a very motivated. He's got money.

He hired on things like this, right? Yes, I absolutely do. He's still like the third richest man on the planet. No, I don't. I don't think he hires quite. I don't think he's rich like Jeff Bezos is rich, by the way, like not even on the same level. This is this is by the way. Not even on the same level. You are comparing an extremely liquid man

with a guy who is not quite as liquid as you would think. I agree with you in that owning Amazon is only a retard. You can have Tesla or Amazon and be the owner. Which one do you want? No one would pick Tesla. Here's the important question. How much money will it require elon to begin ruining your life do you think just guess how

much is he gonna have to give how much will he how much how much liquid money will he need to pull together if you're smart if you're smart if you're smart like a thousand dollars if you're smart i'm sure that's what i'm saying so ruin your life with a thousand no no i'm just saying i'm sure if you're clever enough for a thousand bucks you might be able to do some moves i'm just saying elon musk the reason why he's a bad choice as opposed to if you chose someone else who has a lot of money but it's not elon musk elon musk will be benefiting you quite a bit if you are his number one target he's not gonna promote you he knows better than that he's not oh wait so people will think i'm crazy or i'm like it's elon musk is fucking my life oh he would he would actually start gang stalking you he's like it

is me bitch yeah he's not gonna come out and twiddle his mustache and again like like the he doesn't okay i thought he was like i thought everyone was aware that elon no no no you're not he comes to you mano a mano and he goes, hey, big boy. That's different. I was thinking of how I could benefit. I was thinking of how I could benefit from being his nemesis. But now I understand. I might be changing my answer

then. Yeah. He's not going to be your foil or anything. And he doesn't need to be liquid to ruin you. His fund could be $3 million. Do you know what you can do with $3 million? You can hire a small...

You can invade a fucking country with $3 million. Not successfully. You could just pay a hacker to get all my soft cock pictures on my phone and put them on my Twitter account. You have soft pictures of your penis on your phone?

Long story, but yeah. What? What did you say? Just get hard ones. Get hard ones. Just do that. Don't keep those time bombs where you have to go, I was trying to look at something on the underside.

I would rather. Here's the thing. Elon Musk is so powerful, I would rather. Here's the thing. Elon Musk is so powerful. I would rather literally have a gypsy curse than have him motivated to destroy me. Because he and I mean, motivated in a way. I haven't seen drag me to hell, though. I have seen drag me. If it's my fucking gypsy curse.

If it's my everlasting soul. You've seen thinner steak. That's a curse that would be awesome for the first six weeks I wanted that at one point I was like I'll beat the curse I'll be there even before the curse can get me that's such a shitty movie it was it was much better in my mind as a kid

it always is when you think back to it it's kind of like apocalypse now but then you get through the first half and you're like oh shit there's oh 52 more minutes oh no i've never seen stuff's already over i had first half at camp lejeune or wherever the fuck marines go is is good um camp charlotteville whatever y'all do um and uh and but then they go to vietnam and it's like oh shit it's stanley kubrick's vietnam which is like depressing even when they win the big battle at the end and they get the sniper the sniper is a teenage girl who's

like fighting for her homeland right she's a little girl dying and like coughing up blood in her last moments and they're like oh yeah we got her the one that killed big bob and little mike or whatever and it's like yeah it was just a little girl. Yeah, it was just someone with a rifle trying to fight back. That's pretty fucked up. It reminds me of that movie. What you're saying reminds me of it because I haven't seen Apocalypse Now. Full Metal Jacket.

That's what I'm saying. Oh, you're saying Full Metal Jacket. A lot has happened and I was wrong. Okay, so I have seen Full Metal Jacket and there is no movie that in the first half. I'm like that. I'm like when they're at boot camp and everything. I'm so invested.

I'm so in. I'm rocking and rolling. It's awesome. The second they go to Vietnam, that movie turns into a dog turd. It's I turn it off. I I remember watching that movie the first time and like you got to fast forward three quarters of the way through and being like, what happened? we were we were we were rolling and now we're doing nothing in vietnam and it sucks and i don't care they set the anchor point of what were going to be the

concerns early and then they daddled on you know dilly-dallied on that too long and it made it so i was no longer invested in the other plot points that i was supposed to be and look and look there i i've watched some youtube videos about what what Stanley Cooper was going for there and all the symbolism that's present. I'm going to make a shitty movie. But what I wanted, especially when I was younger, when I got there, I was like, all right. Fucking Joker and the boys are like, I don't remember what they said, but they're like fire hardened and battle ready or whatever the fuck they said. Like man born again or whatever they said but they're like fire hardened and battle ready or whatever the fuck they said like man born again or whatever they said and it's like fuck yeah we're gonna go to vietnam and fuck some nips up and get some some some goop blood on us or whatever they were gonna do and

they get there and it's like all the asian words yeah all of them nips and zips and and they they get over there and it's like man this there's no glory to be found here it's just like gruesome and like i remember right away the the one guy's like posing with the dead um viet there and it's like, man, there's no glory to be found here. It's just gruesome. I remember right away the one guy's posing with the dead Viet Cong. It's so off-putting. There's no glory to be had. Even the guy shooting the civilians out. Which one is this we're talking about now? Where are we going?

It's Full Metal Jacket. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's what we've been talking about the whole talking about the second half before the trash yeah the second half in vietnam he's he's shooting the m60 out the window and it's women and children in a in like the rice paddy fields just farming and and the guy and he's like get some get some and the guy's like you kill women and children how can you kill sometimes how can you shoot women and children they're yelling

because they're in a chop yeah it's easy you just don't lead them so much fuck and that's like his introduction to he's like flying in right like to the shit and and just like one depressing thing after another stanley cooper wants to completely deflate any idea you had that vietnam was some heroic cowboy riding in to to serve some justice up to the bad guys it's like no or he's like fortunate son wasn't even played once not yeah yeah that's a real downer uh apocalypse now on the other hand yes is that worth watching i have not seen it apocalypse now what's funny about apocalypse now as a movie is like that's

a movie where they got marlon brando to be in it to be like the main bad guy and he was like uh okay but i'm not wearing pants the whole time and And they're like, okay, we'll shoot him from the waist up. And he's like, yeah. And you can't light me. And they're like, what? He's like, I have to be in the dark. What? Yeah.

He's always sitting. He's not lit up. He's in the dark. Is the pants thing like an old tale? And he was really bad at knowing his lines in other movies so like in godfather and stuff he like looks around as he talks but everywhere he's looking there's copies of his lines pasted behind the camera so he's actually looking at his lines remembering them all that's true um a little a little addendum though on the um on apocalypse now the reason

that he's in the shadows and dark oh Oh, yeah. Taylor, the man showed up 50 or 60 pounds overweight. I think it was more egregious. I think it was like 100. I think it was like 100. They wanted like it was supposed to be this handsome young actor and he was like the biggest fattest monster. So his character.

So here's the here's the premise of Apocalypse Now. It's a really good premise. Martin Sheen is is a is a lieutenant or something like that and and and uh he's he's been in non for a while he's been the shit he's battle hardened and his superiors are call him into a meeting and the meeting has uh a lot of like a-list actors later yeah i'm looking right now this is stacked lawrence yeah movie. You're actually lucky. I'm going to re-watch this movie. They tell him in this meeting, this top secret meeting, we want you to go

into the shit. This colonel, he's one off the reservation. He's over in Cambodia. He's working with some kind of crazy stuff. He's not obeying orders. He's killing this. He's killing that. He's not listening to reason. He's like, so you want me to go in and get him, bring him back to you, bring him to the real world, crazy stuff he's not obeying orders he's killing this he's killing that he's not he's not listening to reason and he's like so you want me to go in and get him bring him back to you bring him to

the real world something like that he's like no we want him gone eliminated you want they want him to kill him they're sending him on a seek and destroy mission against their own colonel and so he has to go on this lord of the rings-esque journey sort of like because he's like off the grid right he's not regular army he's not anything he's a he's a man being sent by the cia and maybe the marine corps to go take out a colonel so he's he's like sometimes he's with like the those guys on the boats you know that do the the the river patrol and then like then he's in there like one of those shows where the playboy bunnies came and like put on a show for the soldiers and like he's making his way through country to get to the colonel and the colonel again is supposed to have been off the reservation badass colonel

now he's got like his own cambodian hit squad and he's been living in the jungle on fucking rice beans and fucking hate for the communist party and you get there and my man has put on some mass they light him the bad kind right they light him with flickering candlelight and he's sweating profusely so much so that they must have been dousing him with water or it's the sweat of a very morbidly obese man yeah in actual cambodia i think or vietnam wherever the fuck they were. They went. Yeah, so it's humid as shit.

It's Southeast Asia. It's pouring off of him when he delivers his lines, but it's still, he's such a good fucking actor. He kills. I remember the, the horror. The horror. It's so good. You know what he used to do also?

It's like three hours long. He used to show up on set. Three different versions. He would show up on set and his first take he would purposefully not act that well. And if the director was like, okay, and they were too intimidated

to tell him what the fuck he gave that level of shitty acting the rest of the movie. But the first day if he did his take and you were like what no can you're gonna have to do better than that he would be like a real director i'm gonna work for you and then he would give 120 marlon brando i knew it was gonna be have y'all ever seen the island of dr morales i was just gonna link a picture all right all right i've seen a simpsons episode have any. Have any of you ever read?

I love that we went down this hole together. I wonder if we were going down this hole at the exact same time, you and I, wherever we were in the world. No, no, no, no, no. I watched that movie. I watched The Island of Dr. Moreau on HBO or Showtime when I was a kid, like 13, 14, 15, somewhere in there. No, I just meant all these facts about him and these fucked up stories. Oh, I just like memorizing stuff about him and these fuck oh oh yeah oh i i just like memorizing like this is not highly rated no that's who they but that's the that's the actor they probably got so that's what that's what they got when they when they when they

wanted marlon brando yeah like that's what they got when realistically they probably were expecting to get something closer to this guy. Yeah, it's bad. I don't know why he's all white like this. I think it's sunscreen. I know it is. It's sunscreen. So look how huge he is.

I've read the novel after I watched the movie, but essentially it's a doctor who's making like half animal half human hybrids on an island in the novel he's using like surgical techniques to like modify an animal to become like a human-like beast like to to be able to like stand upright and speak and stuff in here. It's more genetic splicing, I believe. And,

and some of the animal hybrids are very ugly. They're like dog face people. And there are, and he, and he's like trying to break them of their animalistic ways by punishing them, like beating them and shocking them. And they're all afraid. And,

and they all have, Oh, they have almost like a cult, like religion about the master says the master says. And like, but then there's this other group who are have, oh, they have almost like a cult-like religion about the master says, the master says. But then there's this other group who are like, especially there's this one girl, I can't think of the actress who plays her, but she's smoking fucking hot, but she's got sharp teeth or something, and that's it.

She's like the cat girl, and it's like, shit, this is a way better way to make animal-human hybrids. Make more cat girls and less dog boys. make more cat girls and less dog boys more cat girls and uh and in the but the premise is this guy shipwrecks onto this island right and he's and they don't know what to do with him because all this is like top secret rich guy island secret shit and so they're like you'll stay with us you'll come on with us we'll take care of you you know your meals will be and and it's uh the novel is very scary because wandering the island at night with the animal human hybrids and he catches one of them eating eating a rabbit he's killed a rabbit and he's eating it like a and

that's like what there's like 10 there's this whole like 10 commandments of the master thing about like thou shalt not runneth on four feet like the animal thou shalt not like shed the blood of another animal or consume it's shit like that and like the master he goes back and rats him out he's like yeah I saw a fucking dog

boy like eating a rabbit or I thought I did I don't know what color dog boy and now the dog boy's got to be fucking disciplined. Now that's pretty cruel. And he's like, wait, there are dog boys for real? What color dog boy?

He had a spot on his nose. He was blue. You son of a bitch, Alan, eating rabbits in the forest when I specifically told you not to. Yeah. They have names like that.

It's like Timothy. What a douchebag. He made a bunch of morphing freaks who are based on animals, who eat animals in the forest, and then he put them on like, you can't eat forests. Yeah. I hope Marlon Brando's killed at the end by his own creations. Brutally, yeah. I think he's beaten by the end by his own creations brutally yeah i think yeah that

seems like a natural bit of it thank you for saying that i don't want to watch this yeah yeah no no it's i've seen it multiple times you're better off watching uh val kilmer and marlon brando and the director's uh relationship on set that entire time apparently it was like val kilmer's nightmare role and he like hated it but everyone on set had bad takes on him and it was just like it's like pretty there's a lot of drama on that because also he came in marlon brando and he was like i should have a little person with me a little man and he's like i should wear this yeah and he started like making calls yeah like about who's with and like changing the story and everyone's like okay let him do it

because the director also was like this was like his second movie and they gave him like a huge budget and there was like a it was just like a lot of stuff about it and he uh couldn't control marlon brando or val kilmer do you like val kilmer like it's an agatha yeah yeah you enjoy batman uh batman forever tombstone but have you ever seen this little remember Jim? Also with Martin Sheen, The Ghost in the Darkness. Oh. Does that have a part of it? The Ghost in the Darkness?

Does that have a part of it? No, not me. I don't know that. The Ghost in the Darkness. The Ghost in the Darkness is the true story of the lions of Savo, Africa. Savo means slaughter. And Swahili or whatever made up savage tongue they speak around there.

And what the British were doing at this time is colonizing their chunk of the continent. They needed, specifically for their railroad, a bridge built over a canyon, river, whatever the fuck. And so they hire the first lieutenant, played by Val Kilmer. He shows up very dapper.

He's Val Kilmer. He's so good looking. He shows up and he's like, the guy tells him, your job is to go here and build this fucking bridge and this savage piece of shit. The guy's super racist who's sending him there. And Val Kilmer's like, I love Africa. I've always wanted to go. Yes, well, you'll find Africa's very

full of one thing. Africans. So he sends him there to do his do his nonsense well he gets there and the workforce to do this thing is made up of a lot of indians like from india and a lot of uh native africans they are beset upon by a lion not as one lion but two lions this is a true story by the way these lions are coming into the camps at night. You got to keep in mind these railroad bridge workers, they sleep in camps, in tents, tent camps, if you will, in the open. I know this scene that you're talking about now.

Wow, I've only seen this scene, I think. It's the only thing that I remember. Lions will just snatch them up in the night and take them off. Oh, we lost a man tonight. We lost a man tonight we lost a man tonight but did they show a scene where a lion's grabbing a guy like and you see the guy like ah and he's like getting pulled under the thorns yeah through the thorns and you see his flesh and skin be torn by the thorns because the part of like the the location is these thorn bushes of africa

that they use not all they use them later They weave them into these huge thorn fences to prevent the lions from coming to places. So essentially what happens is Val Kilmer is over his head. He's tried traps. He's tried to hunt them. He can't figure it out. He's losing so many men that workers go on strike. They've lost dozens of men at this point.

And so the company company the railroad company bring in a professional hunter play called remington played by martin sheen and he comes in all big game hunter with his crocodile done heat d hat and his magnum fucking rifles and him and val kilmer team up fucking fucking double ninja style fucking twin cobra style and they take on the two lions the two man killers of savo and in the british museum of natural history uh they have those two lions to this day so a little bit of a spoiler about how maybe the movie may or not end but they still have them stuffed they are not uh cool to look at and the idea was that these were two adult lions who were

cast out of their pride they weren't like alpha males they were two beta males you got kicked out by a big you know alpha male and now they had to live like as a duo without any bitches and this made them real bitter and they developed a hunger for human flesh and i don't know what the number is and they were played by they were played by actors bongo and caesar bongo same actors that were in George of the Jungle in 1997. These lions know how to motherfucking act. And those lions were technically Africans. And the guy tried to warn them. Yep.

It's a good movie. I watched it many times as a kid. I might check that one out. I don't think I've seen that one, actually. Even the scene I'm remembering, I don't know if it's from that movie, but I'm going to have to check that out. There's a part early on. I appreciate the video, I have Harley.

Let me tell you my favorite. No, I like that that was a dad joke. It's such a dad joke. I'm like, he is pushing 50. Pushing 50. Which could be anything. So, Woody, you're going to be the opposite, where you're going to want Pete opposite where you're going to want –

because you take such good care of yourself and you look so good for your age that when you're like 62, it's going to be the opposite. You'll be one of those people where you're like, how old? And they'll be like, 51. And you'll be like, no, 62. That's right. That's the track you're on. Pushing 65.

And then you can lie in the other way and be like, 91. 91 years old oh I wanted to ask you Kyle because I was watching I was about to start this show last night because I was looking for something on HBO because I just re-bought HBO to watch The Last of Us which we can get to in a sec because I thought that was super good and I was looking through the

sci-fi section on there to see what series they had Babylon 5 is that a good series is it stupid is that because i just i just i scrolled past it and it was like a deep space opera that's dramatic and i'm like okay that that's kind of enticing to me so maybe try it so i i don't want to offend the one babylon 5 fan out. Oh, it's bad. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's excellent, but it's outdated because of what it's shot on

and because of some of the special effects. And it's going to, it was really good for its time. And I'll tell you how it's best enjoyed. It's best enjoyed through YouTube snippets of a couple of the more conniving characters being devious to one another. Like, like, like there's a lot of Game of Thronesones s you know there's scenes of game of thrones where like

viserys and little finger would be in some fucking boardroom like trading barbs yeah there's some great scenes like that in there like if but but then like i don't know there might there's some spaceship policing and and and and then they show the exterior of the ship and it's like, man, I can't watch this show. I'm sorry. It doesn't look good enough anymore. But again, there's some YouTube clips of like one, I don't know the character's names, but there's this one guy who has this ridiculous,

he's an alien, he has this silly haircut with like two different stripes of hair on either side of his head that go like from front to back. And he's like telling this guy how this guy you're gonna do this and you're gonna do that and you do this and he's like why would i do any of that he's like well for one thing that thing you just drank well that's a bomb there was a tiny bomb in that drink you just drank and anytime i want

i can detonate it's the size of eight molecule whatever he says you know i can blow you up anytime and you know what the best part if you ever try to take it out i get a notification and then i'll kill you then and it's something like that and i just like the way he delivered it like like so maniacally it's just i was like oh man this could be a good show yeah you should watch battle start all right all right i followed up that drink with some frosted mini wheats and that shit will be out by lunchtime yeah i just had i'm gonna drink 40 ounces of coffee and then you're gonna be looking for your little valuable piece of equipment that's a thumbs up as a good series

with great writing and an amazing story and groundbreaking in many ways yeah yeah yeah for sure but it's a thumbs down as far as should you watch it galactica you say 10 on 10 that's 10 out of 10 especially like the first couple of three even better than star trek right yeah battle star battle star galactica is going to end it's going to give you a conclusion which you would never get from the star star trek universe and i without spoiling at all that ending was really good and i liked it and it was okay all what they did okay oh no i i vibe with woody on that i was kind of like i am an idiot oh you like the whole full circle thing like that i'm fine with i just thought without getting too spoily about

battlestar galactica there was a point where it was like is everyone a cylon like who isn't who here's a still like who show me the real humans because for a while it was like have you ever played that board game amongst the battlestar galactica it's like no of course not so if the battlestar galactica board game is so sick because everyone you choose your character whoever you want to be and then everyone gets a card that says you're not a Cylon but someone will get a card most likely at least one person will get a card that says you are a Cylon if you're the character Gaius who you want to play as there are some pros and cons for every character guys Gaius gets two shots at maybe being a Cylon so whoever's playing gaius you're like they're probably a Cylon he has two fucking cards which it goes well with the show

and if he's not one then it really is great really exactly two Cylons and what's really crazy is you start to like uh politic with one another and you're like I should be the president for whatever reason or someone like I should be leading the military for whatever reason and you like you vote who is the most trustworthy and sometimes the most trustworthy person has proven themselves by doing these missions you're like he's definitely not a so you vote him as president maybe you vote him as head of military too and then halfway through the point there's a certain moment where cylon cards are given out again. So now you find out that you are a Cylon and you have been the whole time. Like the show and maybe you were

the president or someone and you're like when you start looking at each other. This seems like fun. Do you know the lore of Battlestar Galactica? Because I can lay it out in like eight seconds or something. I know. Pretend I don't know a thing. Pretend that I know nothing. You've got a space-faring human society that's colonized many

worlds of a single star system and uh they can bounce around between them they have these war vessels called battle stars that are kind of outclassed they're essentially space uh aircraft carriers and they were the real hammer of like human might during the Cylon Wars which is when they fought their robot slaves that went rogue, which for the longest time were like walking toasters. They even call them as such. And every, like, I don't know, 10 years since the war, they, maybe one

every year, maybe like a human rep shows up in case the Cylons want to talk at a designated location and they wait on them to show up and talk. It hasn't happened for like, I don't know, 180 years 90 years we haven't even seen them since the war and the peace was declared all of a sudden you know the human shows up he's like some like military bureaucrat sitting there at the table

waiting on nobody to show up like they have every other day of his career and a spaceship docks and he he's like wait what who who's what what and they dock and the doors slide open and in walk these two imposing warrior bots they do the best they can and uh then walks the sexiest blonde woman you've ever seen in a red fucking dress maybe she will be later on if she's not already wearing it and she walks up to this motherfucker and like grabs his cheek and kisses him and then you zoom out to the whole fucking spaceship exploding all of it explodes and the war has begun and the Cylons are back and they look like us but nobody knows that and they've been what she a version of

her has been has interworked into the humans entire defense network. So there's a judgment day that comes sort of where 95 percent of all of humanity at least is just killed. Nuclear war. It rains down our own weapons used against us in some cases and everything is gone. Weapons used against us in some cases. And everything is gone. And the only humans left, for the most part, are running and gunning on military vessels and civilian vessels that have formed a fleet. But the Cylons aren't just starting a war. They're exterminating humanity.

In their machine minds, they decided they all have to go. That's the only way. So they're continuously chasing the human fleet. and the way they're faster than light travel works it's it's these jumps they have to pro like do their math and then instantly sort of appear a few light years away whatever it is they every time they jump they start a clock this is episode like three there you can see nobody has slept in days. Everybody circles under their eyes. The clock has begun. It's ticking down.

Like every 25 minutes, they have to jump again because the Cylons are jumping right behind them. And every time, they can only jump so fast. That's the problem. They got to recharge and go again. And the Cylons are catching up on them. Every time they reset and jump again, the Cylons have caught them and been fighting them a little bit longer, a couple seconds longer they they shoot their missiles off and the missiles are coming

for them and they jump that's that's how close they are behind them just it's then it's the it's the remnants remnants of humanity running and they're trying to establish a government between the civilians and the military it's a very like and they're pointing out everyone on the ship being like you're a fucking Cylon or someone does something weird and they're like why are you lying are you a Cylon and like everyone's like bro like I literally would call my whenever a friend fucked up the night or did something like drop the joint we'd all be like you fucking Cylon we should throw you in the air they have to figure out who the joint they have to figure out who the president is they have to figure out who the president of the colonies is because they

had like a structure like that the education secretary happens to be the last remaining in the line of secession and she's aboard the school ship and they're like madam president and she's like oh shit yeah and uh the the the uh admiral is admiral ad, played by Edward James Olmos. Yeah. Man, that look, he lost the battle against acne, but he never lost against the Cylons. God damn it. He took a nail and that man somehow made himself look fit for those boxing scenes later on in season three. I got I got.

Sounds good. It sounds like a very interesting premise Before I forget I did want to I wanted to ask you guys Something like an opinion question Completely different But I'd like to hear each of your takes On it How do you feel

Let's just say if Us four Like pulled up to The mall or a movie theater We got a time to catch uh and we're at the pull up to the movie theater and we're driving down this row and it's just like you know if we just go two more cars turn right and then right we'll be on the other row but there's people looking for cars how do you feel about one of us getting out of the vehicle and taking up the spot how do you feel about one of us getting out of the vehicle and taking up the spot no no no not only that like like i don't i don't i don't want to retell the story but like in fast forward is

what he would say taylor taylor's dad sent him to get a man who was a boy kid teenager out of the spot the guy was standing taking a spot taylor grabbed the guy picked him up got him out of the fucking way and his dad rolled into the spot and i'm not talking about 20 years ago i'm talking about like five years ago this was like five years ago i'm on the other side of this uh i think that if we're on this mission and we have the parking lot champion with us we take advantage of that put him in this i didn't know we had a parking lot champion. Taylor, we've seen your defense. How's your offense?

I didn't know we had a parking lot champion. That's a phenomenal story. Going into the movie theater, putting a mouth guard in. Taylor gets down in a three-point stance. Taylor's not with us now. Would you go stand in the spot? No. I removed that guy from the spot as a way to restore order to parking oh you didn't take the spot yourself we know we took it because he was attempting to

reserve under false pretenses so you he was just standing there but you removed him on false i removed him physically because he was not in the car he was on foot he was standing in a spot reserving it for someone and then i moved it i restored order and i would never use my powers to to reserve seats i'm not about that get there early if you want to reserve seats let's be respectful to everyone else it's selfish to just have one person there reserving seats seinfeld figured this out 25 years ago it's it's i don't care for it don't like it wait wait so if you got into the theater i was gonna talk about it right here and i'm gonna have a picnic in a parking spot i'll put i'll put a quarter in the meter now you can wait hold on what i do is i go in and i go everyone i felt about it was like i was having this debate with my friends and I was like, I wouldn't do that.

I wouldn't go stand in the spot. But if I were driving down the spot and someone used the buddy system to take the spot, I'd be like, and I would keep going. I wouldn't say shit. I wouldn't do shit. I sure as hell would go. If my dad told me to pick that fucking kid up and move him, I would be like, yes, father. But other than that, like, like fair play like this is the wild west it depends yeah it depends on the situation right like i'll say this if i saw that now i would just move along because i'm a felon and and and the law is probably gonna side with whoever i get into the scuffle with in

the parking lot and it is just a parking spot. However, I can imagine a time when I was younger and maybe my boys were with me when we would not have put up with that sort of thing. You know what I mean? Like, I could totally see an ass. Are you allowed to do that? No, but I'll say this. If I did it, I would know that I was doing wrong. All jokes aside, I am actually on the other

side of this or at least i was where i really am is if i saw someone do it i would just try it's a parking spot i don't give a fuck yes exactly but having it just on ethically i don't see why sitting in a parking spot is any different than holding the movie theater seat you can't do that either my friend's getting popcorn. You know, these are the two, these are the seats for him. Okay.

Well, that's the seat right next to me. Like, what do you want to sit next to me? Woody? Like, like, like,

like, like there's a young lady and you don't think she, you're like, you sit down next to the young lady. And she's like, this is actually my boyfriend's chair. And he's like, Hey,

where's he? You know, that's wrong. But in my mind i know that they're both like ways to reserve things i don't see why here's how you work here's how i work it out when i want to do one of these moral quandaries i think i put my loved one or myself in like the quasi victim situation i'm like oh okay so my mother's at the movie theater and she's watching a film with my sister and no wait go to the parking a grown-ass 40 a 50 year old man comes in because he wants to watch star wars alone in the middle almost 50 almost pushing 50 and and

he flicks the the seat thing down next to my mother the armrest and plops down next to her and starts starts eating and muting his phone. And she goes, oh, I'm sorry. My daughter's sitting here. And I don't hear so well out of the right side anymore. So I like to lean to the left, you know, when we whisper. And you're like, lady. Silly bitch.

I'm sitting here. You got your daughter? Sounds like it's pretty important that this seat get filled by your daughter. Where is she? I think she needed to relieve herself. can't handle her water right just like a woman no what he's allowed to sit there and if she's like that's my daughter's seat he's allowed to be like no i'm sitting here i mean that is i i honestly see reserving a seat as a fair and normal thing to do like I do as well.

I do as well. I think you could sit in the movie theater. Is a parallel. If you were sitting in that spot, I don't know why. They're not even available. I think we're muddying the water a little too much. Because we need to remember, the initial thing was someone dropping someone else off at the theater to have them run in and be like, four seats. These are ours.

That's unacceptable. If Woody, you're going into a theater and you're with Jackie and you go in first because she has to pee. That's not reserving a seat. You're there. It's like, this is my wife and I are.

Body system works. I think I got it. I got it. Theater seat. I'm the person amongst my friends that would sit in the theater and I would drape my jacket across six. And I'd be like, no, let me help you out. Let me do it your way.

My six friends will sit here. help you out let me do it your way my six friends will sit here we'll wait for the movie to start and then one by one we'll go in the middle of the fucking movie for you and go get snacks is that a better experience i see what you're doing do you want to do that because let's do it that way then guys come now we have to sit we have to wait for the movie to start and then we'll disrupt it for everyone else so we're all here we're all here though so what you're saying is you and your friends would conspire against the other uh don't say me and my friends sort of conspire you can't well no you'd get together and you have this sort of plot if you will you'd figure out a way to manipulate the system where if they didn't do exactly

what you wanted to do then then it would be so... Look, you're not breaking any laws. It's going to be so inconvenient for you to do business in our world. The chosen one. For these six seats. Who made the movie?

That's true. Jews should get first choice at every movie he's opening the exit door for his five friends that's why they're not there already i mean you'd get in first in line everywhere i was i was i was thinking the parking lot thing because the parking lot is like now we're dealing with the law but but the movie theater is more it's not the law so first of all parking lots are private property the the laws of the road don't pertain to them you fuck those stop signs roll right but what about but but impeding traffic tell me what to do here jc penny what the jc penny can tell me yield or not yield fuck you no no you're not the

dmv so if if you um remind me three, I'm real stoned. We were saying we were in the theater reserving six seats across. So in a theater, we're paying money, right? And a lot, right? It's like $20, $25, depending where you are. The parking space is a little bit more like a park bench in some ways. Like I wouldn't sit on a park bench and then give somebody a guff if they wanted to sit down next to me and eat their lunch. It's a park bench.

If I don't like doubling up with somebody, I need to get my ass up. What if you're lying down on the park bench? We're back in the Wild West. Then you're a fucking bum. Sure. But you're allowed to know. Lie on the bum. Bums get animal rules.

You shoo them away and you. What if it's not a bum? It's Woody. he just hurt his leg and he needs to lie down and rest and he's lying you know how expensive woody shoes are i'd spot him right away i mean like come up and be like hey buddy sit up i mean look it's a fellow white we have a we have a thing uh like you think y'all have a thing like i see a fellow good white out there and i'm like all about like i'll see them i'll see their like their special ring while they're like pushing their

car on the side of the road i'll cut i'll cut off three mexicans and a black guy just to get over there and help him push that car i had a real racist joke the other day i don't know if it's racist or not you tell me nah but i thought it was funny nonetheless so i had and i told taylor this i think maybe off the show, or maybe I said it anyway. Hold on, wait, let me prepare to not laugh in case this gets clear. Okay, all right, try hard. Clear your mind. Not funny, not funny.

Holocaust, Holocaust. It was real, it was real. Okay. Jesus Christ. Never forget, we had a book in my house growing up called, we had a book in my house growing up called, And God Cried. And on the back

of it was a pile of the bodies like like jokes aside like like yeah it's not funny stuff i mean hundreds of thousands of it's who's to say god damn it rewind me just a little bit i've got this you gotta erase this joke a couple days ago. Oh, so I had to get the water line worked on in my yard, right? And they said it's the third crew in a row. It's a true story. It's the third crew in a row. Take care, Icarus.

It's the third crew. You've heard the joke. It's not that bad, right? It's the third crew in a row, right? Two white guys have tried to fix this before, just to be fair. Across the board, the two white guys fucked up both times. They dug the hole, they worked on the line, they fixed it supposedly, and it leaked again. Well, I look out the window, who's out there working on it?

Mexican and a black guy. At first, I'm like, hmm, this might work out this might work out but no it's exactly like you'd think it would be they worked hard then quit early there's still a big fucking hole out there deepest shit they worked hard digging that hole then they just fucking quit early as they would and now i've just got a big koi pond in my yard that looks more like a meteor struck and then it rained in it with no koi so you don't even have a nice uh japanese artistic chic to your home no no it's all you just have a mud hole did i tell you guys uh my that's a city utility workers yeah me too well yeah the the plumbers the plumbers those fucking plumbers with the affirmative actions and they're like just trying to like dog whistle those plumbers that'd be funny

i tell you i had a bad luck thing with my uh so i had a bunch of trees in my yard removed because they were dying and like rotting and these people destroyed my yard it's as though I paid for a tree removal and

lawn destruction service like I so like yeah and they're the best in the fucking biz let me tell you because they basically in my backyard i live in a wooded area tons of trees we really focus mostly on the yard we focus mostly on ruining your fucking yard is your backyard nice uh my backyard is way less nice than it was after they wrecked it.

It's my front yard that I'm pissed about. The grass. Is it grass or weeds cut to the same height? No, it was grass. Yeah. Okay. I said was grass. Yeah. Basically, it was six trees that I needed removed in my backyard because they were all

either dying or rotted or just looming over my house and making me anxious. And so I figured, you know, just let's rip the Band-Aid off because trees are expensive. All six of them down. You know, I'll either have to do... Can I guess how much? Yes, you can, and I'll surprise you with it.

All right. You want me to guess now? Yes, guess now. Six trees? Yep. Like big trees like uh the smallest of them were probably that big around did he go just probably did he have to go up and climb the trees which oh yeah on all six of them dude did that cost you three thousand dollars cost me forty nine hundred okay. Okay. That's rough. And I guess it's more expensive sometimes.

They charge you more depending on how much, it's like how close it is to your house or whatever. A couple of them were like right next to my house. It was $800 for me for one. So I was hoping you got the bulk discount. Dude, that was the bulk discount. Holy shit, that's the math. $4,800. Yeah.

That was the big... Because the guy... This800 yeah that was that was the big because the guy like this is the one part that was decent is when i was calling around about it in my head i'm like fucking it's gonna be 10 grand and when i called him in december the dude was like yeah nobody gets trees removed in december so i'm just trying to keep my crews working you know because no you know so here you'll get a super cheap price and i I was like, all right, that works for me. And they come and they start removing the trees. He tells me it's going to be a one day process. I'm no genius, but I was even in the moment, like, what are you bringing like 50 people to my house to like, just like all at once, like, like, no, this is going to take longer than that. And so he comes on a, on like a thursday a few weeks ago and they start doing their their

shit and the next day was obviously friday they come back to start again and all they did the first time was really kind of get set up and like tie stuff around the trees like to kind of like look at the leverage points and whatnot then nothing had started and that friday i was leaving town to go to my grandparents and so as i'm leaving there's like getting a bunch of work done like sawing the trees and everything and i'm already noticing like my yard it looks like shit like they drove through it with the uh so my yard you could you know how there's a straight line from the road through your side yard for every house in existence you know how you could if you want to walk from the the front left portion to the backyard of a house you would walk straight past the left back left side of the house just straight you know if you wanted to walk

past the right back side of a house what they did is they set up their machine and drove across my yard their machine started on the left side of my house and then ambled up next to my goddamn mailbox this is like a private company it's not like from the city or anything like that this is a this is supposedly a decent company they drove across my entire yard in wet weather and then i guess they didn't like that route and in that route they destroyed a swath eight feet by the entire length of the entire yard mud destroyed and then i guess that approach wasn't working because while i was i know and while i was out of town i guess they didn't like that route on day two for saturday because the next day they took it right to the right side of my house, and they drove a whole new path through my yard.

And they didn't put boards down. And it was wet. And I got home Sunday, and I laughed when I saw my house. As would I. Because they've destroyed my yard. Yeah, it's crazy. It's raining all the time. It's a crazy, crazy thing to do.

Let me ask you this do let me ask you this and let me let me real quick when i got back on sunday i'm getting back from my grandparents house i just wanted to relax and play vampires too all day i'm full of steak i've got some some other steaks she sent me home with i just want to play and get stoned and eat more steak and i try and log on to the internet i have no internet these guys now so deep into my yard without the board with the tracks on their machine that they physically severed my internet line it didn't unplug it it didn't misalign it they drove so deep through my yard they severed my fucking internet that's fucking great and these i would fucking i would fucking eat their children praise be to Allah this this guy praise be to Allah they they came back

yesterday because the guy told i knew something was a mess because on the friday after i left the lady from the company like lawns torn up something's a mess hey uh i there's a bunch of stuff with your yard we're gonna take care of it and i was like at my grandparents i'm like okay so it's even worse than it was when i left they came back yesterday the the owner or manager of the company he wasn't there yesterday i wonder fucking why i wonder why i didn't want to fucking talk to me and he sends his like goons the workers and they throw down some straw haphazardly and then they come to my front door and he's like wanting me to inspect it and like pay him five

thousand dollars and i was like i get it like you guys are just doing your job but this is in like and i'm i always keep it like calm like I'm not someone like freak out. You can't. Yeah, I'm always very calm about that stuff. And I was like, honestly, like this is unacceptable. I know all the all the four of you guys here. If you guys if you at your home hired someone to remove a tree and they did this to your yard, I can't imagine what you guys would be thinking. And that's what I'm thinking right now. So if you need to tell your boss, you know, I told him I'm like, I'm not going to give you guys a dime until my yard is returned to the way it was before, because this is absurd. I'm going to be getting fines for my HOA.

Like, do you have any idea how horrid this is? Elon Musk is trying to ruin my life. Oh, my God. He will fucking kill me. And so my yard, I can send you a photo after the show. My yard is fucking destroyed ruined it took me so long to get grass growing well in my yard because the previous owners treated the yard like shit and so i had to like reseed so many times and i took the aerator out now that i have a house

i understand this yo no this is years ago when i had to originally get the yard going yeah now that i have a house like i understand i had a water ban this past summer so we couldn't want you couldn't water you can't use water and like so i would stand out there and like literally be like this is money the grass is money i know that now because i bought it and this is money and i need to use my sprinklers but i can't yeah and like my neighbor across the street didn't give a fuck about the water ban and i did sit there like looking through the blinds and i was like if i was a little bit angrier with my life i would snitch on you i understand why some neighbors do shit like that i'm like looking at the one i'm like he's not allowed to be watering the lawn right now why don't like what would they do if

you just had a tank of water and if anyone asked you'd be like oh no that's that's from that tank of water well where do you get the water that goes in there no i trucked that in it's rainwater that's rainwater that i understand this is like This is like an advanced lie. I understand. I kind of like that strategy. You don't use that water to water your lawn. No, I understand. You just have a tank of water. That's all.

You're like, I have a tank of water. Evaporational. You know what you're right about is that you could pay. If you really didn't give a fuck about money, you could pay to have a like a water company come and literally do it because they're allowed because they're bringing water from elsewhere water is heavy all that but if i paid instead of paying that if i just paid a truck to come by every day and refill my water and it was like just my buddy in a truck that's what my company does we have a water

truck that's fucking empty we drive it around and charge you half of what the actual water truck costs we don't do fuck all and then you just hook your hose up to your spigot and let her have it what did you just say you heard me look your hose up to the spigot. Is spigot not a Canadian word? Yeah, I don't think you're allowed to say that word. Spigot? What? It sounds weird when you say it. Does it?

I don't know if you're allowed to say it like that. Spigot. S-P-I-G-O-T, right? S-P-I, either G-O-T or double G-O-T. I don't think you can even say G-O-T. You can't say G-O-T, by the way. I can't sayG-O-T, right? S-B-I, either G-O-T or double G-O-T. I don't think you can even say G-O-T. You can't say G-G-O-T, by the way. You can't say G-G-O-T? You're being a real G-G-O-T right now.

I don't think I've read that since Little House on the Prairie, right? Oh, it's one G. Damn, I'm trying to double thing it. Holy shit. I've never, ever, ever in my entire life found a word taylor can't spell till just now he just did no he had it right from the beginning i was the one who thought oh i said one day the tape i think taylor g i did get that one until i i thought kyle was right

with the two g's but that was i was asking i was thinking of spriggans i think i think of myself as a very good speller and i actually wasn't sure about spigot how to spell it I haven't read it since if it makes you feel good I fucked up on spigot people often say spigot so it doesn't sound like a G sound I just asked Taylor for help

some people say spigot about spigot you're right it is a what do you call something that's spelled C-A so sorry so a spigot is where you get the water yeah a spigot is a half price ticket that they sell to mexicans at sporting events i knew it i knew it i knew it i knew it i knew it yeah you carly knew that too it's a big thing in canada as well hey if you're down with us kind of being shitty to you right now, you get half

price. Gay? Wait, how do you spell? How do you pronounce C-A-Y? How would you guys do that? Like an island. Like Cayman Island? C-A-Y? I guess I'd say K. Is that not right?

Well, I mean, it's acceptable acceptable but i think it is key keeman there was a book called timothy of the key when i was a kid and the c looked a lot like a g and we're always like timothy the gay and we thought it was the funniest book because it was like a black man on the cover and it was like timothy the gay we're like we gotta read that when we learn how to read when we learn how to read words other than gay yeah exactly it's key it's the proper pronunciation we all got yeah and you know what do you call the uh okay oh gc adds that later yeah they say we accept that uh but also like people call it the foyer. And I've been hearing lately that it's called the foyer. We pronounce it French for no reason.

Same with valet. How hard do you hit the song? I would never be able to tell someone valet is the way to say it. But I think I could sell a foyer. I know if we were having breakfast together, you would offer me a croissant, but if you were in some Frenchy part of... A Burger King would be a croissant.

Do you hit the croissant? Do you go full board? There's always been something bothersome to me about someone who switches accents real quick like that because of a word yeah like nah bro i heard how you were talking i heard how you were talking the whole time then you were like what's up yeah i'm like no bro you were literally like a croissant vibe a second ago don't just don't let this word fucking dictate you don't simp for language i hate it when people do

that with countries right oh my god when they're like guitar right we all know how to pronounce guitar yeah i don't know how it's actually pronounced natively but it's nothing like that i pronounce guitar like a you know it's actually a series of clicks and hums it sounds like an old radio being thumped that's actually yeah whenever people were like you be thought i'm like shut up fuck no i kind of like it i i like when um when when like a politician does it like like to let you know like yes it was they just had the straight like white girl accent and then they they start

rolling their fucking r's anytime they hit they're talking about anything south of the border in the Juarez New Mexico also we need to work on inflation this year because it's absurd I've seen AOC do it there's a huge crime wave taking place in Argentina

Guadalajara Guadalajara! Guadalajara! It's like, did you have maracas in those little thumbs? Alan, is there any signs that this violence is coming to an end? Aye, aye, aye, Tom.

Aye, aye, aye. I just don't know. What are those fucking little tiny symbols called for your fingers? Thumb symbols. That's what they gave the retarded kid in our music class. He would have been truly retarded if that's what they gave him in the English class. That's because the kid didn't have to sit still.

He was a super. The original fidget. Oh, did you ever... Wait, what? I'll take a joke before we go. No, I was going to talk about playing handbills as a child, so maybe it wasn't a good... That sounds like a great subject for the next guest.

It's Finster, so they're going to love it. Well, next episode, we're going to hit up the handbells, but Harley's going to be fighting soon. Tell us where and when people need to look for your next combat exploit. It'll be announced by people far more powerful than I. But yeah, you know, Harley plays all that. And yeah, I actually just post my podcast on your subreddit these days. So yeah.

Check out the PKA subreddit. check it out you can find harley's podcast on the pka harley man that fight coming up is very interesting to me i worked hard not to give away any hints on your what it might be but yeah that's cool good i feel the same way people are always like did you give it thought and I was like yeah while on ketamine everything's a good idea on ketamine Harley's fighting a big muscular man yeah and he's very athletic he can like backflip and frontflip

he does like lots of athletic feats I've seen very scary footage of him and I'm like you know what I'm gonna go out there get my ass kicked him I think shit yeah I'm like you know what I'm gonna go out there get my who has better hair him I think yeah I'm fucked I'm not gonna get this guy's

what are you freaking me out you're freaking me out right now okay you're freaking me out you should you should be very freaked out right now good luck thank you all right pka 631