Painkiller Already - PKA 633 w/Wendigoon: Religion Conspiracy Theory Class, Kyles Bedroom Shame, Woodys Lost Child

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

PKA 633 with our guest Wendigo Taylor. This episode of PKA brought to you by Lock and Load, real dbg.com, real dbg.com, the only place to get verified real death by gummies, real dbg.com, any other site, you're not getting the real thing,

real dbg.com. Who knows what you're getting over there. And also brought to you, exactly, you gotta go to real dbg.com. And also brought to you by a brand new sponsor, Freeze Pipe, a really cool surprise, a gift we all received at our homes that I enjoyed. Tremendous. So you'll hear more about them later. It also has to do with drugs, people. I thought it was a dildo.

I'm glad you said that. I literally thought it was a dildo when it first arrived. I was kidding. I was not. I thought Jackie ordered it or something. I was like, oh, wait a minute. This isn't a dildo. Dude, it's two feet tall. Don't judge me. It came in a box the size of my head. I'm really accused.

It is a box. Motorcycles paragliding wasn't extreme enough for a little bit well i received an unexpected torso sized package and had an instant assumption about what it might be jackie you only got one i'm sure there are sex toys that you freeze and refrigerate, right? Not like a torture implement, maybe. No, like maybe if you've had a rough time of it, that could be soothing, right?

Not sexually, like maybe a workout. Like your dick is so sore, you take an ice bath? Why are you... No, no, it's an iced dildo. It's an ice pipe. A dildo's not for your dick, Taylor. A dildo's for your bottom. Yeah, if you're sounding with dildos, that's horrific.

That's why my dick's all fucked up. It looks like a corn dog. It's like a handball sleeve. It's like a shut corn cob. Who in the African community makes their lips and ears gigantic? The pygmies? I don't know. I had this idea thatlor's doing that by sounding

just getting more girth by working in pencils than candles i'm glad you brought that up maybe yeah yeah body modification all right i want to talk about ancient body modification maybe wendigoons ever had some of his creepy ass he's an expert you mentioned before because like because one of those things i saw was that, I think it's that South American tribe that would practice the skull elongation where they wrap the baby skulls. And you can see photographs of babies that have had it done and their eyes are bulging.

But what they end up with is these skulls that have been found down there and they look like X-Files aliens. Okay, like legitimately. And they're real. They're human skulls that through that practice have been made to look like this. Now here's what all of the ancient alien people

always go to. They don't say those are alien babies because of course we can DNA test them or maybe the rest of it's biologically human, whatever. They say, why were they doing that? Why did they want to look like that? Who were they trying to emulate? Maybe there were some sort of alien overlords they doing that why did they want to look like that who were they trying to emulate maybe there

was maybe there were some sort of alien overlords that were coming down get teaching them agriculture and animal domestication you know the beginning of the skill tree and sieve pottery and uh and and they had these big heads and they were like if only we could look like the gods because imagine if you will because in christianity and all of the Abrahamic religions, God looks like us. It's a key part of it. It's right there in the beginning somewhere. If your God didn't look like you, shit is. We are made in his image.

Imagine if God didn't look like us. Is that a real one? No. I don't think. No, that's not a real one. That's a wood carving. I don't know what Zach's trying to do to me here, but there are real skulls. Why don't you pull up that X-Files alien autopsy footage

from the 90s, too? You know what's funny? It's like, Kyle, I was like, really? I was putting stock into what you were saying and this image. It didn't really underline your story. God damn it, Zach. You think it was some sort of alien emulation

I was thinking like Oh I don't think that at all I'm just saying like I've often watched I've often watched those shows where that's their pitch Like hey this is why they did it Because they want to tie everything That's a little peculiar in the past To aliens right

And if you can like rope that one in To make that sort of a supporting argument For whatever other kooky shit you've got Like chariots in the bible being spaceships Or whatever to aliens, right? And if you can rope that one in to make that sort of a supporting argument for whatever other kooky shit you've got, like chariots in the Bible being spaceships or whatever, that's a good one to start with. For sure. I mean, the Bible talks about... Wendigan absolutely

knows more about this, but you're familiar with the Nephilim and all of that. Oh, am I? There's some audience members who haven't heard of it can you bring them up yeah yeah so all right five minutes out the gate we're in my zone let's go so in the bible there's mentions of things called nephilim which also often translates to giants or mighty men uh and they're mentioned in the book of Genesis as being the children of what happened

when the sons of God mingled with the daughters of men. So some people think this to be the idea of righteous people with unrighteous people, but some take that literally and think it's the products of angels breeding with humans. There's mentions of angels coming down to earth. So a lot of people draw that out of it see they got kyle you're dangerous i'm gonna keep your head on taylor's next don't worry

uh anyway so giants are mentioned in the bible uh there's some famous ones like goliath for example uh there's a giant that uh i believe it was noah face noah face giants in his for example, there's a giant that I believe it was Noah face, Noah face giants in his age. So there's a few places that they're mentioned specifically, but there's this idea throughout the Old Testament that they were a reoccurring thing. Like whenever it talks about, they go to Canaan, that they see giants in the land of milk and honey that they have to wipe out. There's giants among the Philistines, what have you. So the idea is there's this biblical record of giants, and there's also a record of giants throughout other written histories. Like pretty much every group of people either had a legend or history of giants somewhere in their culture. They tend to pop up around the historical record. And the idea is, since the

Bible is the oldest, in my opinion, the oldest debated between that and like Zoroastrianism as being the oldest religion ever, that it's the first evidence of giants existing. And in the Bible, they're called Nephilim. So, yes, Nephilim are like the starting route for a ton of crazy. I'm sorry to interject. We had a guest like two months ago arguing with me, telling me that Zoroastrianism wasn't the first religion. Do you remember that? Yeah, I do. I watched that episode. I do remember that yeah that was aiden that was aiden yeah i remember that became more of an argument than i thought it would be i was just kind of like oh damn like

now we're like getting heated over over like demons and shit if if it me if it means uh if it helps kyle any the theory that most people have, like myself, who believe that Christianity was, or like the Bible, Judaism at the time was first, is that Judaism and Zoroastrianism were simultaneous. That they kind of branched out at the same point in the historical record. Which I have my own theories that Zoroastrianism is mentioned in the Old Testament as being other religions that are mentioned around the time of abraham but blah blah blah um i see what i mean you got me in my zone no that's that's interesting i have been admiring yeah i like this i was like it's cool when we have like a professional level on the show i like where i'm a sunday school teacher like you know a lot of what i do is talking to you know people my age and stuff they're like oh well you know christ wants us to live this way

blah blah blah but there's also a lot of all right kids so i found this verse of genesis i think it means that aliens came to israel blah blah yeah i get to go on my whole rants and stuff so that's for the bible so the bible is is kind of exacting when they give the um the dimensions of something like the ark do they ever tell us about how tall these these giants are supposed to be because that's so important yes yeah it does uh whenever it mentions goliath which is there's times that it mentions giants who stand with their waist at the height of man that's more general goliath is specifically mentioned as I think nine and a half feet tall. Yeah, shit. All right, all right, all right.

Like Robert Wadlow's size. Now, when you say nine and a half feet, are you accounting for like their feet being tiny? Did they actually use their foot as a foot in that time? To be fair, these are poorly fed Jewish men about 5,000 years ago. These are poorly fed Jewish men. That's true. 5,000 years ago. These are small fellows. Well, I think they used measurement from your elbow to your wrist or something like that.

They used the measurement of cubits. Cubits. The measurement of cubits. If I remember, yes, it says that he was six cubits and a span um which a cubit's about a foot and a half so that comes out to a little over nine and a half feet yeah see that's see that's the problem so like obviously there you're dealing with some exaggeration because like i i don't believe that in that time even with like a pituitary thing or whatever whatever makes people gigantic that he'd have like the diet capable capable of surviving to manhood

and being a nine-foot-tall being. You know what would be funny? That's entirely true, but Goliath was one of those pituitary giants. He went out to fight David, and they're like, there he is, the giant, and he has crutches.

He's like, oh. Look at that beast, and they just bully him with we were gonna see if you guys had any medical intervention for him god don't kill him old school you know about the pacing do you know about the potstum giants that sounds familiar it was a prussian infantry unit in like 1675 all right now i can't remember it was like the prince of prussia or the whatever the the guy in charge or at least in charge enough that he could have his own military unit at his whim selected only the tallest men and the whole fucking prussian empire yeah stupid question what in where is the tech tree in 1685? They got shitty guns.

Early Imperial age, you have access to trebuchets. Shitty guns. There'd be a lot of cavalry and still armor, I would imagine, and silly hats with points on them, and probably swords and pikes and shit. Swords, pikes, and the occasional flint. We're 100 years from the American Revolution swords and pikes and shit. Swords, pikes, and the occasional, we're a hundred years from the American revolution, you know,

and like guns being that good. Yeah. They were like, that's the time they were figuring out, like we got to phase out armor. Cause then we're now making like muskets that can blast through stuff. Well, anyway,

this guy who I think was probably gay was like fascinated with tall men. Okay. It was like his jam. So he like searches the kingdom. He's gay about that. There's this quote from him. Hey, watch your mouth. There's this great quote. You can't have a harem of tall men

or it's gay. He's got this great quote. I want Zach to find it. I've given some contact clues to his identity. I just can't remember the fucking prince of Prussia's name, but he had, he said something like, keep your,

your, your this, keep your that. Give me a tall man. You may be onto something, but he was like, this would be a good video. I think because like this regiment apparently was really tall guys.

Cause he searched the whole like country and got on. And he even had a breeding program where he was trying to pair up the tallest women and the tallest men to make an even taller regiment. He never used them in battle because they were so beloved. What on earth?

I'm looking at his Wikipedia. The height of the king who organized this? 5'3". Imagine how monstrous this battalion... Apparently, the minimum height was 6'2", which back then is enormous. Today, 6'2",

is usually the tallest guy in a room. Oh, for sure. If you're 6'2", 400 years ago, you're probably starting conversations. Find us the average height for the time, Zach, because that's important. i would guess that you're like harley essentially you know like you're like a six five six six guy like everybody's like oh shit one of them are here yeah yeah like they think there's something like wrong with you or they'd be just like jealous of like wow that

guy gets to eat every day no it'd be hard to be like again i think it would be there's a reason people used to be smaller and because it's it didn't work to be big like a big man can't like work or if you're five five you do a day's work that gives you enough grain to support your five foot five body or whatever from the the boss i just don't think the six foot six guy can do enough work to get him enough grain to like make up the difference you know what i mean he's not working hard enough to get enough grain more than the other guy we're all getting fed the same i wonder if we like i wonder if we got shorter after agriculture is that something i made like like that people were taller that like some hunter or maybe there's like some other thing they found like hunter gatherer tribes that are pretty tall because they ate like

so much meat like Neanderthals. I guess Neanderthals are a different thing. Yeah, it was the Neanderthals. Yeah, there you go. All circles back in. Does that mean the angels are black? No. What?

Angels are. It's a total misconception that angels are even people, man. You've read the Bible. I know that. You've seen the orb of eyes in horror. I had to make a black show. The criticism. I know it's not theologically correct no see that's not canon

the the the open them right the canon oh i love calling the bible canon yeah it's not canon have you heard that like We've heard nose size, hands, feet as being an approximation for dick size. Everyone's heard this. You've probably heard that it's inaccurate. That that's not true. Do you know what is an accurate estimation of dick size?

A way you can tell who has bigger dicks? Probably age. People over 13 tend to have bigger dicks. What do you tell us how do you spot a dong in the in the wild it's the width of the nose the the nose width apparently corresponds to dick size and i've heard this and i'm like is this a roundabout way to say black people have big dicks like is it can you think of a group of people that tend to have wide noses this is what happens when when you uh when you do uh statistics but you don't account

for all factors it turns out wide noses is the prime indicator wait did you look at any wait wait a minute can i see some of the um i mean i don't mean to be... Here it comes. I'm just saying statistically, maybe we want to look at a broader array of factors and attributes in the group. It's like we can't figure out what it is, but all the people who are the best at math

prefer PlayStation controllers. It's a weird conundrum. One of God's great mysteries. What those people. I'm made by this. Which group do you hate the most? No, I'm kidding. I saw

I saw I'm scrolling through the YouTube. Who's worst to tolerable? Let's go uh i saw this thing from from my youtube short recommendations where um someone was suggesting that uh i think it was one of the states maybe maybe there's a little of that silly legislation that ever goes anywhere but the idea idea was to have mandatory paternity tests at birth for all newborns in the state of such and such. No, that's not going to happen.

I like that idea so much. It won't happen. I like that idea. I don't know what's involved in a paternity test. Cheek swab. Is that it? Let's pretend it is. I see.

I mean, you know. You're right. We're not going I mean, we, you know, you're right. We're not going to puncture your baby or anything. We're not going to like take one of those things. They clip, they clip. Anyway, there's all sorts of blood coming from like the,

we'll take some of the blood we already got. Yeah. That's our sample. Not a drop more. That's, that's, that's there. Our problem.

I would, I love, I love that idea. I love's there are problems um i would i i love that idea i love that idea because um it would be nice to know i so i watched this one um you can't tell if these youtube shorts or just youtube videos in general and videos on the internet in general if it's this guy's fucking drama channel where they act out fucking scripts and screenplays and i'm watching a performance or if it's like a prank or like a bit of real life drama but it was one where the guy had a paternity test proving that like his like five or six year old daughter wasn't his and he was telling her to get her shit

and go get your daughter and go and i don't again it's probably like some dudes like drama youtube channel where he acts out all sorts of screenplays and funny bits that they write. But I was convinced. I was like, shit. Shit. That's rough. Get your daughter and go at five or six. She's a talking human being at this point.

We know each other. Have you bonded with her at all? It's been six years. This is like a real bond. That's your kid at this point. I don't know if you can fucking pull the plug. Maybe get some Big Brother program going or something. But I can't just pull the plug.

Is this the cold one or the old one? That's the old one. Do you have like a... Because I do this too with Diet Pepsis and stuff. Do you have a little graveyard collecting? A little canned graveyard? I'll be honest. I'll count. I see one. Can you point the camera? No. Then you see the whole

room and then I have to deal with the real shame of Okay. That's good. No, because like the room I've never empathized more with you. I do have a glass dildo connection and that's why the camera's not pointed down. And I promise it's not like filth and then like embarrassing junk or anything it's that when i moved in i just sort of put my stuff in this office and all my extra boxes are just in

a pile right there and they're gonna stay there until i move out of this place because like yeah it's like i don't decorate an office i'm gonna be in for 11 months you know what i mean like it just didn't make any sense. Anyway, there's two empties over there, and there's two over here. And that's because I cleaned up yesterday pretty thoroughly. But at times, if I'm gaming, especially last month when I was playing Tarkov,

just a tremendous amount, there'd be a dozen around me, because that's what I drink in a day. I would clean up at the end of the day if it but but like the real thing was like oh can't swipe my mouse i gotta get these out of the way they're closing in on me well my cans yeah my precious cans yeah it's like that arcade machine where the quarter flips up and you hope it pushes off 19 more quarters. Dude, fuck those machines. Kyle moves his mouse a little bit and all the cans tip off into the desk. You just awoken a little bit of the, I think the first time as a kid that I got scammed was one of those quarter machines.

You know what I mean? That I realized the world wasn't fucking fair. And there was just some shit set out to like you could never beat no matter like what are you gonna go home and train how to give it more money faster like for those that don't know you like pump quarters into this piece of shit and it's continuously got an arm pushing the quarters toward you and toward the edge which would make them spill over but they just never seem to spill over because of the way the machines made and there will be hundreds of dollars in quarters or uh or even silver dollars you know if it's some some places would do uh uh golden dollars

sacagawea dollars piles of money and so it's easy to sit there and be like shit dude i mean 20 more dollars and i feel like we at least get 20 more back right no no they have that in vegas like in everywhere i've seen the arcades mostly but yeah i've seen them in vegas the ones i see in arcades they have quarters up there but then by the time i collect them they're tokens and and you know a zillion tokens in exchange for like a kazoo like it's bullshit yeah yeah that's the worst exchange exchange rate in the world venezuela's like fuck that so this this, this is a great picture, Zach. This is exactly what he's talking about.

It shoots a quarter, and you can see the little slots in the back where it falls down, and then it pushes, and you anticipate it's going to knock the frontward quarters over that lip. But if you look closely, the lips are on an incline, and so they don't tip over.

So it'll just shove it on top of another one and layer the quarters. I remember. You're right. Look how they're layered. How can you not look at that and think you're on the precipice of something great? I'm an adult now, and I'm looking at that, and I'm like, just a couple bucks, man. I could get myself a plushie. I see the queen on them.

Do you? I don't know. Chuck E. Cheese, Her Majesty. Yeah. Wow, I didn't know they had ones with bills. That's true. Oh, no, no, no. I've seen that plenty of times. It'll be bills.

They'll throw shit in there that's valuable. I've seen watches and jewelry that's like... They attach the jewelry, of course, to its package. They don't just throw diamonds in there or anything. But they'll be valuable shit piled up all over it to entice you. Oh, shit. I need a Nokia.

I need a Nokia. They used to have them in there. The people running the casino or whatever will have stacked coins in your favor and you still lose somehow. No, it's one of the shittier games at a casino. You have better odds

at the video poker. I know video poker is set up to bilk you, but it is set up to bilk you over time. They're not trying to take $20 out of your pocket right now. So if you play for five minutes, you could easily just walk away if you go up $10. Is the deck honest in video poker?

With video poker, I could deal you whatever all twos. It's video. It's an algorithm. It's an algorithm that is designed to addict you to reward you little by little and draw make you spend more and more time there and and hopefully you'll get intoxicated right if you play for two hours hey let's rub the stakes would you like to would you like to play double dingo well no i sat down at this table because my son told me it's what he double dingo has twice the

rewards well no thank you how about triple dingo it only costs twice as much it's just as much cost just as much as double dingo but three times well i can't say no to a goddamn deal all right and you're just like swiping their debit card they're bilking you out of your life savings over there i see those drones at the casino every time i go i don't go a lot but like anybody who goes to casino you know what i'm talking about they're in there and like drone is a word for a human who's gambling yeah yeah it looks like something out of the matrix all those people plugged into their machines and look i'm a gamer i've played tremendous amounts of stupid fucking video games that don't you know reward me with cash but they they show up at that place and they're all like plugged

in and their alcoves it's it's it's weird to see um and i remember it was time to leave the casino and i was fucking done with the trip um so i was up early 5 a.m 6 a.m getting somebody to the airport they were already gaming like they were already in their alcoves charging up it was five six in the morning and i don't mean like two or three they were all there and they didn't have coffee table they weren't up early they were still they're still up they're getting their like free they've got they've got they've got drinks with fucking sissy straw silly straws in them and shit it's five six a.m i'm looking for coffee these old fuckers have been going all night playing penny slots that seems like the most boring game to just sit and stare at when i play poker my heart races um

like in an hour there's probably 10 minutes of it where my heart is beating out of my fucking chest like i'm it's probably the equivalent of getting into a fist fight like like it's that intense it's like if you've ever been about to get into a fight that like fight or flight oh shit here we fucking go my arms are going numb for some reason but that's probably gonna help now like that feeling um you get that for 10 minutes an hour playing poker i get that i can see what taylor's saying about it seems like a boring game to just sit there and stare at like Like I get the concept. However, I have in spite of this five head, I'm not that big brained. And I have been a sucker for the YouTube algorithm, watching 45 minutes of 45 second videos, just one short, one short after the other. I mean,

how many times have you been sort of lured in by an algorithm here or there? Have you doom scrolled on facebook or instagram like i can imagine something like video poker or video slots pulling me into the the thought of like constantly having to pay more money in and like not because how what percentage of the time do you like get something back i don't even know so it's hard it's it's it varies greatly but when you're sitting there it's gonna look like like you're winning at least half the time it's what it's gonna feel like you're gonna have it's gonna be giving you like these if you're betting five cents per turn every now and then you're hitting it for three dollars and you're like holy shit i can i'm like i'm playing for an

hour now for free and then there'll be like look it'll go an hour what i'm saying is the algorithm is very good at lulling you into a happy place where you're winning often and it feels like you're winning often and it's probably not going to bilk you out of all your money as you sit there you're gonna you're gonna end the session on a loss but it might not be terrible because what's the electricity cost to run that piece of shit this was a long time ago but you're buying drinks i used to think slots were kind of fun right and i'm like 19 years old with a fake id and i just Because what's the electricity cost to run that piece of shit? This was a long time ago. You're buying drinks. I used to think slots were kind of fun. And I'm like 19 years old with a fake ID.

And I just hit the slots a little bit. I don't have really any money to speak of. But I think I had $20. So I got $20 worth in quarters. Two rolls. And I lost, what is that, 80 times in a row? And I was like, that's it? I haven't played since.

It has been over 30 years and I haven't played since. Yeah, that's no good. That's a bad machine. I used to play a ton of, what was it? It was video poker. My dad's friend owned a gas station and he had some illegal video poker machines.

He had two of them, I think. He would let me sit there and play them for cash and if i won he'd cash me out you know at the at the register you know in this gas station very much illegal but like minor league illegal like what are they gonna do take my machine and find me five hundred dollars okay uh you know it's worth it to have the fucking video game in there that we can play tomorrow like we all like to play against it like the guy who owned the gas station, he loved to play video poker too. He's like, yeah, it's a fucking game. I'm losing to myself sometimes, and I'm

honest, so I take the loss. I gotta go put some money in the fucking register. But we would play that thing a lot, and I learned right away. I was probably 12 at the time i was like this is not one of those fair video games i've played video games and this is one of those

bullshit ones um i i learned right away that it wasn't the same thing as playing poker you just tell yeah bullshit i mean i learned very early on as a child i remember like feeling like i'd cracked the code at chucky cheese like friends, when my friends would be like, we got to spend our tokens and we'd play this and we can get tickets. And I was like, guys, the tickets, it's all, it's all ethereal. It's all crap. We just want to spend every coin on the Jurassic Park game with the moving seat. That's what we should be spending everything on.

We're going to get past those lizards eventually, guys. We have the coins. If we don't divest and go halfway into, you know, because what they were doing is doing half in the Jurassic Park machine and then half going for tickets, and then you don't get any of anything. The Jurassic Park. You lose everywhere. What about the Terminator game?

Remember the Terminator 2 game? The Terminator game got hard. That was a fun one. Yeah, with that M4 had the big grenade launcher on it. Yeah. That was a good one. I liked Time Crisis, too. Time Crisis was good. That was a good one. I liked Time Crisis, too. Time Crisis was good.

That was a good one I enjoyed. I did not get to go into... I did not get to go to the arcade very much. Probably like five times in my life. I wasn't... And they never gave me quarters. Those bastards. You just had to, like, observe?

They were like, you'll find a way, and I had to beat kids up. You should have beat kids up. I mean, this is like three years ago. Clever Kyle's walking around trying to trick the kids into painting a fence for them just for a couple of tokens. I'm teasing.

They must have given me quarters because I played around in the arcade. But it wasn't like, yeah, go play in the arcade. That's the reason for this trip. It was like, yeah, you can play while we finish our Chick-fil-A. I was like, fuck, that's the reason for this trip it was like yeah you can play while we finish our chick-fil-a i was like fuck that's like so little time i never like i very rarely got to like go to to actually go to the arcade to like do anything fun it was totally those tickets protocol in my house whenever we went on a family vacation my parents would give me a roll of quarters and my

brother a roll of quarters and send us out of the hotel room to go play video games yeah i don't know if you remember this twist of it right we get to this it was uh we were horseback riding on this vacation in new york and we're all excited and my brother and i are excited about playing the video games too there's a roll of quarters for each of us and they discover that the bed in this hotel room vibrates. My dad is like, yeah, you're going to have to split this one roll of quarters because that's how the fucking bed worked. You popped quarters in and it vibrated. They took half the stash for themselves.

That sucks. They were adults. They could have got their own quarters. Bumming quarters off your child. They were fuck quarters. like that that's not fair but bumming quarters off your child well they were theirs to start with but yeah yeah they were fuck quarters glossing over uh don't me sees it as a noble cause no no indian giving your own child four dollars

that's like the worst part of the wire right When she's taking the money back from the kids. Hold on. Right now, if you were your father in that situation, would you take your kids' quarters? Oh, man. I like to think I have enough quarters for everyone, but... If that's the only quarters in the building.

Arcade is an opportunity that arises all the time. Vibrating beds are rare. That's what I thought. There's a reason for the rarity have you who have you all been in a vibrating bed you have no i've not though they're off okay seems kind of nauseating first of all it's been a while but i have distinct memories of two vibrating beds one when i was a kid somewhere and it was like, look at this nonsense.

You need to explore that memory. It's kind of blank. I don't know. For some reason, when I think about that memory, my heart starts beating and I start sweating. It was just me and my stepsister. I get this feeling that something's really unsettling.

Why do you have to take it to a butterfly effect place? Then I have to just think about Tarkov. Okay, tell us about the vibrancy. I have to think about the vibrancy. No, the whole bed shimmy shakes. It oscillates. You know how

those oscillating sanders like the palm sanders kind of do that shimmy shake That's what the whole fucking bed does And after a while it's like It sucks I want out of this How long is the vibration

Dude it's such an old mechanism That there's a little like turn timer Like ticking down you can watch it Your time expire by a little like hand Ticking down like a kitchen timer that you'd wind up Like your grandma probably has Yeah I don't know five ten minutes it's like quarters per minute it's it's it's like a air pressure at a gas station that piece of shit is set up with one of those have you ever been satisfied with the amount of air you get for 50 fucking cents at the gas station once? Quick Trip, it's free.

Ooh, is it? Quick Trip is the tippity-top S tier of gas stations. You know. This episode is being brought to you not in part, but entirely by Quick Trip now. By Quick Trip. For your free air. Do they have sheets in your area? I don't know what that is. No, they don't have sheets.

Oh, it's sheets spelled with a Z at the end. And it's a really high-end gas station. As a matter of fact, the Quickie Mart inside rivals like any other fast food restaurant. Interesting. I found out something about Waffle House today. I thought that like... You are always flush with new and exciting Waffle House news.

What is the latest and greatest Waffle House news? I love Waffle House. Like growing up, I always thought of Waffle House as this thing that's just everywhere. And that's because Waffle House was invented here in Atlanta 70 years ago. And there are more Waffle Houses in Georgia than anywhere else. We've got over 400 in this state.

There's only like 2,200 or something, roughly. You're hoarding them. The rest of you don't have the concentration of Waffle House that we have. So you don't even understand the experience. I want to quickly tell the international audience and the lame-o Americans here who don't know what Waffle House is about, like what it's about. They cook the food right there in front of you on a big-ass griddle. And by they, I mean the ex-cons that are working there tonight.

And it's a good thing they're there because they're probably probably going to be friends. With a lot of the clientele. Who show up to fight later. So they'll be able to cool things off. Don't do it bro. You don't want to go in like I did. There's going to be a fight tonight. And the best part is. The fight will be set to.

Whoever had 50 cents last. Because there's a jukebox in the god damn corner. I know it doesn't make any sense. But there is. 50 cents gets you a fucking song in 2023 the bathrooms are disgusting but the food is amazing it really is good food because they don't skimp out on the ingredients that don't get a t-bone steak there that's just know where you are but like if you're getting like a waffle and some grits and eggs it's an

amazing breakfast place with a really fun clientele because they're open 24 hours a day 365 days a year don't care they don't care like whose birthday it is who got liberated today like who's proud this month they're working every day even their even their upper management like their ceos it's fucking christmas bro get in here it's the waffle way maybe georgia has better waffle houses because that's where it is. Because the ones here that I've been to is not like they're not cooking stuff in front of you. It's not like a hibachi style. Where are they hiding the grill? It's a guy in the back.

And there's like a porch that you can like see him. You've been lied to. That's not a real waffle house. No way. You could go in the huddle house or lied to. That's not a real Waffle House. You could go into Huddle House or something. Dude, there's a... I forget what happened. There was a major hurricane that rolled into North Carolina

and Fayetteville was drowned. It made the news that Waffle House used the locks. They closed. This is the first time we've locked a lock on this door in 17 years they get robbed i have uh i eat at waffle house all the time i am a huge waffle house connoisseur big fan of it here in tennessee and one time not too long ago i was in a waffle house at like one in the morning with some friends and this lady came up to me and recognized me

and uh she like not to be mean to her but she was a bit rougher looking you know it looked like she had she had like a house she belongs in a waffle house right and i mean that in the best way but um she like took a picture with me and everything and it was kind of quiet in there so like all the workers saw like this girl taking a picture with me so when i go up to pay the bill, the girl who's checking me out, she goes, so that was Donna that you was with. How does Donna know you?

And I'm like, oh, well, I'm a, I'm a YouTuber. I make videos. She said, oh,

okay. We thought you was her parole officer. Getting a photo with her parole officer. Man, I want to remember this time in my life forever. This is good evidence that I was here at 1.15 a.m. on Tuesday. That's hilarious. Yeah, you've made it.

Getting recognized at Waffle House at, I assume, 2.15 in the morning. That's the point where you're like, so this is fame. This is what it's about. Did she at least get it getting missed getting mistaken for a parole officer in a waffle house what i always dreamed of yeah yeah that means that you looked respectable yeah yeah or maybe they thought you were like undercover is like a sneaky parole officer trying to catch you doing the dirt of their house it was honestly probably just because I was wearing a collared shirt and they were like, whoa.

That'll do it. Sir. Oh, la-di-da! If it's not Sunday after church. Becky, clean the vomit off of Mr. Mr. What was your name, sir? Oh, la-di-da! I didn't realize we were serving the president

of these United States here tonight. I have pants and shoes, dude tonight i have gone in there someone's not even fall down drunk i've gone in before and the tables had like like someone else's like food like all over it and uh but but i would just i just stood by the table until she came i was like i was like you got to clean this i was like what i was like you know the fucking table the whole fucking thing like there's like the other guy's meal there's like there's like a dead straw wrapper there like i could tell he had hash browns and he likes ketchup on them like come on like what the fuck are you doing to me but most of the time it's okay i'll tell you where my fond memories come from it's from hunting um and uh being up really early and uh like if you wanted like like any time that

we would get up at night to do like some nighttime farmer shit um it was waffle house and it was just i've got a lot of like good memories there where there weren't i don't know people fighting which happens there a lot it was just like i don't know me and my dad and like a waitress at like 4 a.m or something like they're sitting there having coffee so what's farming activity oh man when they catch so you know you're there you're there raising chickens from like little yellow peep thing to big white bird that gets butchered and thrown into frozen dinners and whatnot and that happens over the course of seven weeks. The end of that seven weeks, they show up to get them.

And I don't know if you've ever considered how they get 150,000 chickens. No, but I've seen Yellowstone. I don't know what they do on Yellowstone. Do they have one of those machines? Have you never seen that where they usher the herds of chicken across the plains? Yeah! Someone tried that at one point and lost a lot of money. Man, I really thought at least a few of them

were going to make it across the river. I'm going to revolutionize ranching. Wait, fuck, no, don't go over there. So what they do is, if you've ever seen a semi semi truck loaded down with white big chickens then and they're crammed in there and those big cubes the cube cages essentially what they do is they do this at night because you know if the if the chickens can't see you coming they go docile and just kind of sit still they do it at night in complete darkness. All the equipment in

the chicken house gets raised up to the ceiling via like these drills that like winch it up. And then everything gets moved out of the way. And now you have an ocean of 25 to 40,000, seven pound chickens sitting there kind of half awake. And then they like burst the doors open and like a dozen Mexicans storm in there wearing armor and respirators. And they start grabbing them as many as they can in a handful. They had this really crazy. I've seen them do it.

Like each they'll get a chicken's foot between each finger, like one. And each chicken is held by one foot. So they can just reach in and have like a dozen birds and like like six in each fist and they're all dressed like breaking bad oh yeah oh yeah and they're covered they're on the outside they're wearing like long johns because they're doing the filthiest scariest work ever and these things have talons to not yeah i guess nothing scary but if they get you then you've got an open wound in a very filthy environment so they're all armored up with like

cloth and respirators and goggles and shit and they're grabbing it up a dozen of time and swinging them into those cage cubes that are being delivered and retrieved like clockwork by front-end loaders and those front-end loader drivers they're on methamphetamine a hundred and ten percent of the time and they they were fucking swinging those steel fucking forks around and my guys are jumping out of the way and it's just like get the fuck out of his way then like he's got a job so that's the nighttime farm it's going in there and raising all that equipment up i actually honestly thought this is how it was done like if you if you had never told me they backed the truck up to

the building the door for the building is shaped in size exactly perfect for the truck and then they put ramps and i really thought they just herded the chickens in like they were cattle no they're shitty dude like like like they're really really really stupid and they're in a herd of 25 000 you would you you can drive them with flashlights a little but the problem is that the modern chicken isn't built to deal with a lot of excitement they'll have heart attacks and very high numbers like anything anything that spooks them like when i when they when they talk about foxes getting in they'll kill a few but a fox can only eat so many chickens he'll spook a thousand of

them or even worse or even worse he'll scare them and they'll pile up on top of each other and suffocate everything on the bottom layer and then because they're already in a bacteria-rich environment at a high temperature and their body heat combines with that they decompose at an incredible rate like like after seeing how fast they can decompose i mean like six hours they've turned purple and putrid like after seeing that it's like in the right environment you would think that like a human body would just disappear in like a couple weeks or something like that if it's out there and like a filthy enough like the right conditions and certainly if there's predation like if there's anything to come and take hunks out but just like sitting there on that floor they would turn into the most disgusting shit that

you'd have to get a shovel to clean up how big is like this pile you're i'm trying to picture like the pile of chickens like big enough to cause like a like how tall is that to cause like a purple rotting in six hours? I can't believe that. Halfway up your knee. It depends how big they are, how big each bird is. Maybe knee high in a corner. They just pile up and die. They're fucking retarded.

A rat will come in when they're little babies, and apparently the most tender part of a chicken is the back of its fucking neck or something. It's either that or rats kill for fun like pure enjoyment of it because what they would do is they would go in and these are those little yellow peep thing like their wings are just like little things the rat would come and he would kill between 100 and 150 of them in a sitting and he would pile them up and they would all have one wound on the back of its neck where it like fucking killed him. Maybe it like,

like it didn't eat any of them. It was killing them for fun or the back of the neck is the tasty bit. And I don't believe that. So he's just killing for fun. And the cool part, not cool because it's like, Oh, all those poor baby chickens that I was going to sell for meat in seven

weeks. Really? You're just mad. He's going to shovel them. But, but it's like he piled them up did he pile them up because that's fun for him and he's keeping score and he likes to see a big pile or did he know i was coming i know i was

i think like if you left gum wrappers and rotten eggs and shit like that, the rat would take them and put them in his stash. So this isn't in his stash. He's killing them and making a pile right there. Which means he's moving them. He's killing them from the area, and he's bringing them back to this, in the floor, just in the

middle of the room there. He's left your little pile. I've seen sadistic it's creepy so um when my dad first bought that place someone else had allowed it to become infested with rats and that was the problem i was a little kid at this time and uh and getting rid of the rats was a real ordeal because they were smart and they stopped eating the poison so we would uh we would go in there at night and uh we flick all the lights on thousand light bulbs light up and you could see them running

like a herd of them running from where we are back to the very rear of the building and the rear of the building just has this flat wall um their doors but they're like the biggest church doors you can imagine that like swing, like, like barn doors, like, like double. And,

there's a, there's a screen door on the inside of that big wooden door, but it's chicken wire. So they climb up that chicken wire, their little, little paws. So you can, when they get to the back,

you can see them flowing up the wall, going into the ceilings. It's where they live. They live up in the ceiling or under the concrete pad. So we'd go back there, and I'd have a shotgun, and my dad would have a pistol. And while they were running up, it was just shooting them off the wall as they ran.

We shot the doors off the building. We had to replace the doors on the building after the after like a while but we shot all the rats we would also do this thing this is what you do on a farm because there's literally nothing to fucking do um gassing rats was a real just great day so the winner of an activity yeah i was the best rat gasser of them all i promise it was like in a different life. I had. Well, anyway, so we take a truck. Oh, my God. You take a truck. That didn't go. You hook the exhaust up.

You hook the exhaust up to a pipe and you pump that down into under into the rat hole. And the rat has like made a network of like Viet Cong-esque tunnels under a big slab of concrete. And you can see there's exits on every side, two or three on every side of this square. Big rectangle, really big surface, like, uh, the size of a garage and it's out in the open. And,

um, so we jam up every hole we can see, except for two, one, we gas, the other, we wait at with pistols. So I'm like on the other,

I'm on the other side with like a Ruger 22 pistol in each hand. And as they run out, I'm fucking two gunning them as they, like, as they, as they try to get by, they're a little groggy so it makes it easy uh they're pretty fucked up pretty fucked up from that gas and you know it's all bright when they come out it's the middle of the day so they're easy easy did you ever try uh like did you ever try your hand at the actual like gathering of

the chickens like that like grab the oh fuck no that is not something that that's their job that's on that that's like i don't know i don't know how else to put it that was just their job that's a something that's a thing that like that come it's like out of our hands at a certain point and it's like it's like done like we don't we don't have to worry about like if they get slaughtered or if that truck careens into a ditch along the way. We'll just get average pay. Oh, one truck died? What do you get paid for truck on average? All right, we'll pay you that for spillage or whatever.

Once they've laid hands on them, our job's fucking over. I don't give a shit what happens. And I'm not touching them. That's the most disgusting job in all of it. When those guys come out, man, I feel bad for those guys. You'll see them at gas stations and stuff. They're in a white cargo van, and it's like 8 12 like always mexican guys i've never seen anyone else do that job because it's so rough and it must not pay well and they are filthy they are filthy and like

after they've done their work they're just in there piled up sleeping because sometimes the job will be at my dad's farm and they'll start at night and then the whole day will pass and they'll go again the next night and they're just sleeping that van out there filthy with no bathroom dad's telling me you better not be shitting behind my building and uh you know you gotta deal with that it's a rough job that sounds awful they should they should get paid more sounds like like a difficult, difficult job. I didn't know if that was one of the duties that like they show up and you're like, oh, please, dad, don't ask me to help with this one. No, no, I wouldn't help if I'd been asked or told to or that's a really shitty job.

I'm telling you, like, I don't run away from home. I don't know where you go. Like, like, if you run away from home, where the fuck do you go? It is embarrassing once you realize you have nowhere to go. It's like, oh man, I got no money. I'm 11. I'm gonna make

some pedophile's day on the road. Best case scenario. It's such a ridiculous proposition. I remember I was having an argument with my dad when I was, I don't know, six. I had a driver's license. And just real screaming match. And he was just like, get out of here! Go! And I'm like, what are you talking about? having an argument with my dad when i was i don't know six i had a driver's license and uh and just real screaming match and he was just like get out of here go i'm like what are you talking about i'm like laughing now he's like leave you're out i'm like no i'm not look you can't kick me out

do you i just did it i'm like you can't you can't because you know i have nowhere to go i was like what am i gonna do park the truck at the grocery store and live there now? No, no. You're not going to like that when your friends walk by and I'm out there. Please, Mr. Jacobs. My daddy threw me out. Please will you buy me some potato wedges inside the grocery store, sir? I've got 17 cents.

And he's just like, well, guess i can fuck fuck touche son i like i like that dad was reasonable with such situations like that because there was also the time when and and he he he didn't know it but he did have room to negotiate but me and my cousin were on the back porch making a what's the word um long it it sounds like that but it explodes and uh so we were making and and so we were making this device out there about yay big and um and i was i was wrapping her up and uh you know my dad's watching me wrap it up. And I've explained to him, like, you know, how it works and why it's safe. And, you know, how I've tried it on smaller scales.

And now this is the big boy and how that washing machine out there is about to meet a very untimely end. But I'm doing it 300 meters from the house and you'll be able to see it from here. It'll be cool. My mom's like, you're just going to let him sit there and do that. He's going to let him sit there and make a bomb and he goes what do you want me to do what how can i stop him and i was thinking like just a simple stop would have done it dad at any point during the construction of this device you'd said stop i would have thrown her away but too late now and that washing machine turned inside fucking out

that thing was how did it go off was there a fuse how did you build it specifically yeah so what you want to do as opposed to shooting it oh man I can tell you it's so easy get the book out I've told y'all

how to do it before. You just go back to that one. Or you could just... Sparklers. People have made things out of sparklers and it was more potent than they expected it to be and it was trouble. It's on news stories.

People who would make sparkler devices, they would do stuff to the sparklers. Nothing crazy. You can see videos of it on YouTube. They still allow that. For some reason, they do. But depending on what kind of sparkler you use,

it'll have two different effects. If you use one color, most colors really, because of the chemical composition they use to get that color. I'm not a chemist. I don't fucking know. But what it'll do is it'll like create this huge meltdown effect where the all the steel rods that are in the center of this big bundle of sparklers just sort of fuse together in this like melty pot metal pool of like scariness and it'll fizzle and sparkle

sometimes especially if like any water hits it it's real dangerous to be around because it's so hot and it's so concentrated but if you use the a certain other color uh who knows which one um it's just a bomb it's just a uh like a heat sensitive explosive um like real quickly uh and it's it was shocking to me how cheap they were and how like readily available i pull up with a shopping cart full i mean i shop like remember breaking bad when when he's like lecturing the guy you don't get everything higher things piecemeal one place yeah to draw suspicion i'm literally there with a shopping cart full of who knows what color and can infuse like rolls of like a milky way on top put a birthday card on top of it but they were like what are you doing and i'm like i'm making sparkler devices and they're like really that works i'm like yeah notice that these are 13 cents about a box like it was uh it was

wildly cheap for what they were and what they would do. Do you guys remember? I remember as a kid seeing news stories about that every Halloween time where anchors would get on there and be like, the new thing teenagers are doing with sparklers, more at seven. I remember my parents watching that. And even then thinking, I don't think this is telling more people how to do this man like the fact that the fact that i learned from you or is talking about this right now is actually not helpful if this if they're trying to reduce this yeah i learned from doing it though like i know kyle

was but like i i don't know i'm stuck overblown so overblown so overblown when i was a teenager i kept hearing about the rainbow parties like if you've heard of this where every girl would wear a different color lipstick and the dick would get rainbow colored by the end of the night i have never had such a party like who would be who's down for that like first of all oh i would be down for it yeah i mean all, who's down for it? I like all three of you guys. I don't want to get head in a room with you. Because I would feel the need.

You know what would actually happen is I'd feel uncomfortable with the silence of all of us with just the noise of four women sucking our dicks. And so I'd have to just ask. I don't know why you think multiple dicks are getting rainbowed. There's only one guy getting rainbowed in any sort of conceivable scenario the idea that there's ever been a rainbow party there have been so many more celebrities worshiping owls literally and so many fucking like like black magic cults that that that have been literally trying to bring down society with demonology and magic that has happened far more often i would die i would bet my life that has happened far more often and regularly than a fucking rainbow party i would wager that the only rainbow parties that

have ever occurred involved a pornographer who has also heard this story and said well i've got eight thousand dollars so let's have a rainbow party and Marco roll. I'm telling you, nobody's fucking like, who are these girls who are like, yeah, I'll be this shade. After this, you want to work on geometry homework together? It's like, when is this happening?

It's such a made-up scenario. The ideas of all the fuck bracelets that we're supposedly wearing. If we're, Oh yeah, I'm wearing the green one with the dots. That means I want you to come in my ear. Like,

that's what I'm into. Like, like all that shit is just so frustrating. All those urban myths that, that look, I don't know. I think mostly it was white parents, the razor blades in the candy that ended up not being a threat at all.

Man, that was the whole, remember the candy that ended up not being a threat at all man that was the whole remember uh candy man that's the whole premise of candy man was that there was a sweet old black man giving out candy and uh somebody lied and said that he put fucking um i think they said he was a child molester anyway they beat that old black man to death in that movie yeah not a good movie not a good movie no not a good movie don't see the new one you see the new one they have candy man 2 yeah no no well there was a candy man 2 but this is like this is more like candy man 2022 like like a new spin on it so the guys like slowly like you know it would be a good

name it'd be called candy man type 2 that would be for their sequel. Yeah, I love that. It's a diabetes joke. Oh, Jesus Christ. I was watching the gears and there were kinds of fun, but I'm like, you can't read that. I love how Kyle picked up on that immediately. It's diabetes. I could see Woody

being a bit befuddled. I couldn't tell if he was befuddled or if he was mad because he has diabetes and he hasn't told anyone yet. He was either angry or confused and I couldn't tell which. What's your doctrine about diabetes? It's home.

He hasn't told anyone. But he's like, well, that leads into our next topic conveniently i know i know i often go off on kobe bryant for you know being a rapist and all but i've been watching those youtube shorts and uh when the guys talk about his work ethic if one guy had said it i'd have been like okay and and babe roof they ate hot dogs before every game but like every guy that talks about him seems to say the same shit and that's that one guy said he was like i made it my goal to get downstairs first he's like i got set my alarm for i don't know 4 a.m something

like that i get up at 4 a.m get my sneakers on they're right by the bed. I'm downstairs getting ready to make my breakfast. Kobe's there all sweaty. Ice packs on his knees. He goes, it was three days after he had lost the championship. He wasn't just up before me. He had gotten a workout in.

Apparently, it had been such a hard workout at some point that was night time yeah yeah it started like if you get up at 4 a.m and his workouts finished he worked out overnight it's not morning anymore i've seen and i saw some like the algorithm was the algorithm was like kyle doesn't care that kobe rapes let's show him some more and so it showed me this other one and he was like doing a doesn't care that Kobe rapes. Let's show him some more. And so it showed me this other one and he was like doing a speaking engagement, I guess. And, and, and he spoke about that as like a life philosophy. He was like, well, look at it like this. What, you know, when do you wake up? When do you work out? All right. You get up at six. Hell, let's make it

seven, eight. You get up, you, you know, you eat your breakfast, you do your workout. Let's say that's two hours. And now you got to eat. You got to rest a little. You got to recover. You get your second workout into the day, you know, two to four. You got to eat. Now it's bedtime. Got to get up in the morning, get it going again. That's not what I do. And he lays out this plan where he's doing four days. And he's like, now you extend that over your lifetime. He's like, they can never catch me. He's like, it doesn't matter if they work hard all summer. I'm working all summer too. But even if I didn't, it wouldn't matter.

He was explaining that he's trying to practice literally more than they ever can. I like that. So he was a great player. But he would have won more rings if he wasn't so hard to get along with. It was hard to get along with because he had high expectations. He met his own expectations,

but nobody else could. So you get a guy like Shaquille O'Neal. He can't work as hard as Kobe. If Shaquille O'Neal worked year round and got up 4am and did all those exercises, his knees were busted. He'd have hit free throws. He might have hit more free throws.

That I'll line up with. But I also think he'd have missed more games. His body needs more rest. He's too big. He can't jump around at 265 pounds, 300 pounds, whatever he was, and do that all day, four times a day. And eventually the two split up.

Would Kobe have earned more rings if he and Shaq could have stayed together longer? Of course. What if he didn't work as hard? Who's to say that if Shaq had worked harder, maybe if they stayed together, they'd win fewer rings, right? I don't know. I don't really care to be honest i just really

like his work ethic i just can't stand that fucking game it's so annoying to watch like i don't care who's good at it or who's bad at it or who's oh this new guy oh my god the handles oh when he walks he he bounces the ball twice and he's across the court he can he's like the best running back in the entire nba like they're all running backs the nba is full of fucking running backs that are seven feet tall and it's frustrating to watch and i i bet it's really hard to watch if like you're like a fan who cares about fundamentals i'm just a person who cares about fundamentals i'm not a fan at all because i think it's a stupid fucking game with all the bouncing of the balls.

That game was bad. They haven't changed it enough since it was peach baskets and white boys. You've got to evolve the game. I like the game. I feel like you could level these criticisms against football, which I think you like a little more. To succeed in football, you need body

types that normal people don't have like i'm six foot 200 pounds there's not really a position i could play in football in which i'd be useful i would have to be stronger and leaner like i don't know that can't be a normal person and thrive at that game in the pro level maybe kicker yeah but but it's a little bit different because the if you took the proportions of the people and and saw what their wingspan for example and made that a percentage of the playing surface in the nba like the five guys wingspan is probably 75 of the width of the goddamn court woody like it's going on the football field it's a hundred yards like they're not in a film or whatever they're not they're not taking three strides and getting down the field

but in the nba your boy lebron literally takes a few fewer strides right than a normal human being or something i think i get what you're saying like tom brady's only i'll make it up 10 bigger and stronger than me yeah over the course of yards it doesn't add up to huge difference it doesn't make a big difference, right? He is still only like 1% of the field. These numbers are surely wrong. Whereas,

you know, LeBron James, he's 30% bigger than me. And, and you know, he can touch the rim and I can, I get it. I get it.

And you grab, you can, have you, I don't know the most I've ever done now that I've like trained or tried, but in high school I could, I could take like two or three running steps and I could jump and I could get like a couple of fingers on the rim and make it go down. Like that's as high as I can ever fucking get.

I think that's better than me. I could, I think I could reach, you know how the net, like the, the loops that are very close to the rim are a little bigger. Yeah. You can get in there and pull yourself up on them if you want.

Yeah. I could definitely like grab the net and pull up like yeah climb my way there but i think i could even grab at my best the highest holes that were not touch the rim but the holes that would have touched the rim so my my arms so if i stand flat-footed barefooted um i can make like my three fingers go the the three fingerprints go flat on like an eight-foot roof. I'm not that far from the strings. I can hop and slap the strings. I've got no jumping technique.

I'm really only jumping this high to grab the thing. I bet you haven't done it in a long time. Now you take someone who's great at jumping, like a 40-fucking-inch vertical, and then you make them a foot and a half goddamn taller than me, and you leave them

on the same surface the place where i can grab the shit the place where i can fucking like i'm right there like i don't feel like a midget on a basketball court i feel like yeah this was designed for a man my size haha i would have been the big guy back in indiana in the fucking 1860s or whatever shooting in the peach basket right in the fucking wall60s or whatever. How to tore that peach hoop off the fucking wall like Shaq in 93. You might still be too young to relate to this. So I'll be 50 in a few weeks. And I don't know, if I tried to touch the rim right now, what are the odds that I just Tom Segura this whole situation?

It's just like busting me i have no idea honestly based on your athleticism i'd say super low chance but because you've been banged up before i feel like once you've fucked up a knee before it's like forever and always going to be more likely to get the idea that the idea that his fitness is going to help him in the slightest and in this type of injury is laughable it's going to be the problem because of his fitness because he is lighter uh faster and stronger he is going to go higher than he's ever gone before all right he's gonna which means he's gonna fall from higher than he's ever and and man it hurts falling on a really every athletic what's the best athletic surface to fucking fall on it's got grass right like holy shit i can i've taken some tumbles on the grass

and just bounced up it's gotta be oh yeah you fall on ice you're like ah i thought these pads were like intense and it's like they are intense it's ice idiot no the one thing about ice that i almost picked it because a lot of times your momentum is transferred to forward motion. Grass does too. It's really good. It's probably the best, but when I fall on ice, I'm all padded up and I just slide. Take the pads away. See, that's the thing.

We're falling. This is an accidental fall and you're wearing what you're wearing right now. This is like... Oh, with an ice, yeah. You ever walk outside and fucking crack your ass on some ice in your parking lot or something? It's brutal.

The ice has no give at all. There's no give to ice. Colder things are just literally harder. It hurts, and they just hurt more. Wouldn't you rather slip on the beach than like... No, wait, I take it back.

The best playing surface to fall on is water polo. Yeah. Tripping on the beach is just like fast, relaxed. Water polo is scary to me. Water polo is one of the scariest sports that there are. Why? Because those guys are the best people in the world at drowning another human being there's no one who spends more time that they are professional athletes whose job is to

drown someone while multitasking and while they're trying to be drowned by the other team that's what i mean yeah yeah they're offensive and defensive drowners like oh you think you could drown me like i've been getting drowned think you can drown me? Ha ha ha! Like, I've been getting drowned. Have you ever been held under the water for one and a half seconds too long? Your body immediately is like, You're in a full-on panic because it's like, I will die if this situation is not remedied. I can't imagine, like, having the wherewithal to be, like,

in the midst of being drowned and thinking of a way to reverse drown him and also having the wherewithal to be like, all right, we're down 2-1. If I don't drown here, we've got a real shot at coming back. How much time is the clock? Yeah, that's a sport that's never going to take off. Yeah, that's the scariest sport to me to actually compete in.

I can't think of anything scarier than that. Correct me if I'm wrong. Water polo is the uniform. You might be thinking of the hammocks they wear. That's a problem to start with. But that helmet thing, you can't look good. Ryan Grossling would be ugly dressed as a water polo player. Yeah, I'm not going for looks out there.

I want some face protection because those guys scratch. I'm always going for looks. I probably have to wear those little goofy things you're right no one would wear these if like i show up in a fucking rash guard or a fucking scuba suit or something like that i i bet those guys scratch they they look at some real shitty uh bitches in the some catty bitches in that sport i wouldn't want to play that at all the idea of like i'm sure someone's drowned like zach when's the last time someone drowned in olymp to play that at all. The idea of like, I'm sure someone's drowned. Like, Zach, when's the last time someone drowned in an Olympic play? Look at this cocksucker. Look at that fucking elite athlete still looking down.

Keep in mind, that pool's like eight feet deep. He has driven himself out of the water to make this play. Yeah, it's not like he jumped off the bottom. He's a mer-man. It's just intensity of leg muscles just propelling him up. These people are unbelievably fit. Wait, does he have a full... Okay, he does have the whole arm. His elbow, he's doing like a whole thing.

This guy's body just looks... It looks like functional strength. Like right there. Yeah, those deltoids. I bet the water polo players can't wear jeans because their asses are too big.

I thought it was a dick joke. That's where your brain goes. Go straight to that. Look at what Sidney Crosby looks like in jeans. It's hilarious. He can't wear jeans because his ass is too big because he trains his ass all the time. Hockey players look ridiculous in jeans. I like that.

That's just information. I need to see it now. I can't wait. Well, you hate Sidney Crosby. And so you're going to deny that he's caked up, but he is. You're going to see,

you see Sidney Crosby fucking bending over in the locker room. Damn. And that's him fucking 20 years ago. So he's got funny how his arms are as small as they are. Yeah, he's been poorly built his whole life. Look, I bet Sidney Crosby is a good looking man. There you go. He is caked up.

You can't deny it. That's outrageous. That's outrageous. Man, he really grew into himself, eh? Yeah, his arm got strong too, actually. Like, I'm looking like, I don't know. Looks like a bowler or something. Well, forearms are good.

Hockey's a good workout for forearms. You wouldn't have bet on that first guy to be like, all right, class, who do you think's going to be the professional athlete? Yeah. No one's voting Sidney. That fucking haircut and the big ass yeah looks like he's six like five sitting down because it's like a mismatched potato head body or something those parts don't even go together and like and that's not even as bad as uh the the classic tom brady photo

where it's like it's like he was cast as a guy to play someone who was going to be football, like in football. This is his rookie photo. Yeah. Maybe combine photo. Super skinny. You got to have a real high sports IQ to overcome that.

Or I guess also, isn't he like 6'5"? He was drafted late, though. I want to say Tom Brady was a surprise to even the experts. I bet Zach knows what round he was drafted. He was drafted like, though. I want to say Tom Brady was a surprise to even the experts. I bet Zach knows what round he was drafted. He was drafted like 700th or something. Like really late. Does that picture say when he's drafted?

I can't remember. This looks like a cult photograph, like an inductee picture. Go stand naked by the sign. Does 01 mean 2001? That's his jersey number. Who do you see that he showed up with? Quarterbacks would be below 7 or below or something. Yeah, you can see there the year 6043.

Yes, he's actually a robot. 6043, 211. 211 is how many championships he'll have by 6043. I would say that's the stat that'll never be broken that's seven uh championships i don't think anybody does that in the nfl again um certainly not for a quarterback like no quarterback ever does that he won 30 percent of the retired is brady retired yeah yeah yeah yeah so this is for for wending and i was just poking around your channel recently and you've been leaning you always do but like scary stuff i think that's my favorite of your content is like the the unnerving spooky things and the weirdness what would your recommendation like

what's a good rabbit hole for me if I want to get like fucking like scared. And I, and, and if it doesn't matter to me at all, if it's, if I end up at the end and I'm like, I don't buy this or I end up at the end and I'm like, Oh my God,

this seems real. Take that out of it. Like just scare me. Is there anything specific you're afraid of? Like, is there one kind of fear, one lingering thing that bothers you personally? I'm more afraid of like serial killer style people than I am of like ghosts and, uh, and that kind of fear one lingering thing that bothers you personally i'm more afraid of like serial

killer style people than i am of like ghosts and uh and that kind of so like someone who like tortures people is scary and like and like unexpectedly like is in your house one day and he kidnaps you and tortures you in your basement that's a lot scarier to me than like i think i saw an apparition okay uh i will say some because i've read whenever i did the serial killer series i read through a lot of transcripts of like evidence that like you know initial police crime scene reports of how murders were in like uh interviews they did with the killer and some of the worst ones i remember was william bonin um i his real name, but the golden state killer, uh, and the guy who was called like the vampire of Columbia, his name, it was a Spanish name. I forget what it was.

Those were the three that when I went through the series, I was like, I was a different person after reading through like everything that they did um okay i'm not familiar with this guy william bonin yeah so so william bonin uh let me make sure i'm saying that name right or william bonin perhaps is it the guy who looks like me he has long hair when you look at the picture because everyone made that joke you know yeah yeah a little bit. Yeah, okay, yeah. Everyone made that joke. Yeah, William Bonin was a child murderer who what he would do is, he had a couple accomplices who, if I remember correctly,

were guys who were like either, I can't remember if they were mentally ill or if they were younger and just kind of like, he kind of suckered them into what he was doing. It started out as like, hey, we're going to rob some people and then eventually it got to child murder. but he had this van he would drive around in and he would get kids

he'd find like these boys who were like 14 15 it's like hey you want to go to a party we're gonna have like beer and stuff and he'd get the kids to hop in the van yeah there it is that's the picture everyone says looks like me um he'd get the kids to hop in the van and he would it was in california he would just take them down some back road and like the the details of what he did to these children are all manner of depraved uh for hours on end and then like the part that i remember because you know i read about a lot of stuff like that where it's like yeah he did xyz to the boys and then uh he would strangle them i think was the way he'd kill him um but he would take stuff from them and then use it later as a joke like one of the accomplices said that uh there's one boy he killed who had like 40 on him so he kept the 40 and the next time they picked up a kid they're like hey you want mcdonald's so they go and get

mcdonald's and he's using the 40 and poking his accomplice like hey remember this came from isn't that funny and like it like just like jesus not just yeah not just depravity but like relishing in it like how much he enjoyed it like and when he was caught like no regret uh just like well there it is. I think it might have been him. It might have been someone else, but I'm pretty sure it was him. That while he was in jail, he wrote letters to the mothers of the kids he killed talking about how much he enjoyed killing them. Yeah, I know that Albert Fish did that.

Albert Fish did that, yeah. In the late 1800s. Albert Fish letters are so fucking depressed we've talked about on this show years and years ago like he like kidnapped murdered and then like eight children and then he would write letters to the parents of those children bragging about how how he maneuvered their kid what he did to them before, how he cooked them, how delicious they were, thanking them for it.

Like the most over, like if you were, if Albert Fish was a character in a movie today, you'd go, I can't get into this. It's unrealistic. He's way too over the top. It's unrealistic. You know, at least tamp it down to a Joffrey or a Ramsey.

This guy's over the top. I can't get into this. Like, but they're really, it's a good reminder like evil like there are evil people like there are people who yeah not only are indifferent but they get off on harming others that guy albert fish he was so messed up that when he was in court uh he asked to be executed by guillotine because he said if he was able to hear the blood rush from his neck for a split second when it happened that would be the best pleasure he could ever experience.

Like just an animal, just like a monster. Yeah, he was like independent. Like he was sadistic and masochistic. So like he would torture the shit out of children and then he would like put his penis and testicles like on top of his kitchen table and nail it to the table yep like that like and so he was a lunatic places yeah he was uh yeah that guy needed to be put down that's a fun like little story right before bed highly recommend it read the albert fish letter it's reprehensible. But yeah, so like those are good suggestions. I got them pulled up now.

Look at those serial killers are good. I would also suggest some like, like cult leaders are often kind of treated as like a hee hee, ha ha, like a goofy, like, isn't this guy quirky? Like, even if there were murder, it's like, wow, these people were so dumb or whatever. But when you read about like some of the ways

that cult leaders indoctrinated uh people around them it is depressing like uh ervil lebaron he was one of the guys he's a lot of people misunderstand lebaron as being like a founder of mormonism he was famous because in the early days of mormonism he got kicked out and started like a whole cult separate to mormonism okay um he was like a big practicer of got kicked out and started like a whole cult separate to Mormonism. Um, he, he was like a big practicer of polygamy and stuff like that. And what he would do is he had a theory that he pulled out of the old Testament and he called it, uh, blood redemption. I think it's blood redemption, blood sacrilege, something like that. And it was the idea that some people were so sinful in their lives. The only way that they could go to heaven is if they're murdered by righteous

people. And like a prayer said over them or whatever. So what Ervil would do is if there was like, say for, he had like, you know, 20 wives or whatever, and say one of the daughters of one of those wives disagreed with him or tried to leave, he would go to the mother of that girl and be like, hey, do you want your daughter to go to heaven? You're going to have to kill her.

And like, he would talk these poor delusional people into murdering family members because he said it's the only way they could get into the gates. And like, reading the testimonies of people who were in that group oh my word some of the most terrifying stuff ever that guy was absolutely evil um but yeah a lot there's a lot of cult leaders like that who are very messed up who are some other interesting uh some other cult i i'm woefully misinformed or unin I guess, on so much of the cult shit. I don't know enough about that.

Heaven's Gate is about the extent of what I've looked into, but that's like the Beatles of cults. And so, like, you can't really say, like, oh yeah, I'm into cults. And it's like, oh, name three cults. Oh, Heaven's Gate! Name their albums.

Name three of their albums. Go ahead their albums oh man i've been called out i need to find a better one but like you're you're a million percent right about the whole cult thing of people being smarmy and smug like these idiots they didn't know it's like these people who are in like influence circles cults, they can't see outside it. By design, all of their interactions and the social cost of disagreement are incorporated into that. If they had a robust system and network of people who weren't involved in that cult, then it would be easier. That's why the first step of any cult or indoctrination is separating you from your your family separating you from your friends making you believe that nothing can be trusted except for what is said here and when you're surrounded by a bunch of people who have done the same thing

you know they've done tony he distanced from his family and his friends and he hasn't had an issue with it what what's wrong with you are are you not bought in do you not believe what we believe like those like those kind of social you're not you're one of us you're not gonna go against yeah that happens all the time you you pretty much uh your only friends and family are us now and you're disappointing us like what's gonna happen there's this weird misconception and a lot of it's just because you know they don't know any better but there's this misconception a lot of people have that like happy people who were doing well in life join cults but it's almost never that it's like i don't know if i've talked about them before i know it was on a

podcast i don't think it was on pka i talked about uh the anthill kids did i did i do this i don't recall the anthill kids no okay tell us about it the anthill kids were a cult in the 70s it was either the 60s or 70s they were led by a guy named roche thoreau um roche i think it's it's either rock or roche uh it's a french name roche was a pastor in i forget what denomination of church it was some branch of christianity for seventh day adventist seven yes thank you seventh day adventist. Before he broke off and then up in French Canada began this farm.. And he'd effectively start with the evangelist thing of like, hey, Jesus loves you. Do you want a home? Do you want a community? And he started inviting people to this farm he was effectively building up in the mountains. And he did this for

years. So for years, it was just a group of people who had nowhere to go. They were completely lost. And then someone offers them food, shelter, and friendship. And it was years of that before it became what it eventually turned into. And that's how people get indoctrinated to the point that they join and become a part of a cult. It's not just like, and I want to be abused by some charismatic figure. But like, Roche was, it was a very slow decline. The first step of it, I believe, is he started having them do labor. Like, okay, you go work

and I'll stay here and run things. And people were like, yeah, that makes sense. And it's like, hey, do you care to help build like the houses around here? And they're like, yeah, that makes sense. And then it started to be like, I think I need to have children with the women here. And the single women were like, absolutely.

Yeah, you know, I'm down for it. But then the husbands were the husbands were like hey you know i could give my wife to this guy uh so then he has all these children that are his and then after i think the cult there was a period of time he went to jail and like every day all of them would come to the jail and talk to him um he went to jail for like several months i think the cult lasted for about 15 years. And by the end of it, there were so many violence scenarios that happened. But one of the more intense ones was a woman tried to run away after I think he had forced himself on her. I can't remember the scenario. But she tried to run away. And it was in the middle of Canada in the winter, so it was freezing. And these men brought her back. And in front of everyone, he dragged her onto, he had a church set up.

He dragged her to the altar, pulled a hatchet, and cut her arm off at the front of the room in front of everyone. And no one did anything. They were just like, yeah, she went against us. What else are we going to do? And she's crying and screaming. front of everyone and no one did anything they were just like yeah she she went against us what else are we gonna do and you know she's crying and screaming and then he just puts down the axe and holds her and starts patting her like it's okay and everyone was just like yeah this is this is fine this is what happens when you mess with the cult leader the thing that yeah the thing that eventually did them in was uh a woman died during it was something like she got sick or she got cut and i i forget the details but roche did something

like he ordered someone to put a bag over her mouth or something like that he did he ordered them to do something that got her killed and then there was a period of time where they tried to hide her body and then her family came looking for, and eventually everything got found out. Oh, it was the woman who got her arm cut off. She escaped while the police were investigating and she went to the police, told them what happened.

And, uh, all of them got arrested. But yeah, these people were conditioned over the period of over a decade to be like, yeah, if you know, he wants to cut her arm off,

like, you know, that's his right. That's what we get. And that, that's scary to read about like situations like that where people are absolutely at the will of some madman and you have to uh remember like like something else but there's like the longer someone is in a cult or in like one of those circles the more like sunk cost is involved and so like someone who's in a cult for two days is a lot more likely to be talked out of it if you've been in there for years like that is

your life leaving that is not only changing your whole life and uprooting yourself it's also an admission that you were fooled and i don't remember who said it but it's a lot easier to fool people than to convince them they've been fooled and so like you you spend five years in a cult like that's your fucking life. You're not going to let anything separate you from that because those are your friends. That's your family. What are we defining as cults?

How do you know it's a cult? Someone tells you, hey, Taylor, look, I found myself. There's this group of people. They got a new way of doing things, and I like it. And for the first time in my life i feel at peace you know what i'm leaving my job behind i'm putting all my money into this we all did and look hey i am definitely not the richest guy there buddy i'm gonna tell you that right now we're pulling a lot of money together so we can all just live in fucking harmony and that's all there is to

it i mean there's a guy in charge yeah and he takes a cut but but father michael keeps us together he keeps us guided on the path of the that god wanted us to be on the one he originally wanted us to be on you know what i mean no owls and and it's a good place like what do you say to this guy i mean it's hard because like so much of like the cult part is the insistence on removal of yourself socially from your existing connections so if if if you were inviting me and you were like yeah bring your family bring your friends like we meet up every week and we're gonna hang out and we do this i'd be like okay this isn't the call they're not trying to separate me from my life if you were like hey you know in addition

to this taylor i think you should come stay on this compound with me for a while. No, just you. Just you. I don't think your parents and your friends. I don't think they're I don't think they're bought in yet. Honestly, do you think they are? No, I don't think they're like you and I. I agree. But yeah, come on. I guess then I'd be like, OK, like this guy's trying to fucking put layers between me and the people I'm familiar with. This is a cult. Hmm. I've never I've never seen anything like that. Honestly, I'm glad that i was never cool enough i guess to be invited to a cult i haven't been invited either not even the clan like like i remember um my dad how many clansmen are there like 13 fbi agents

my dad said that my dad said that when they were all like i don't know 19 or 20 in the clan in 2023? Unironically. My dad said that when they were all like, I don't know, 19 or 20, that the clan would come around. He's like, they came around. They were in the back of a pickup truck with a loudspeaker. Like a traveling show? No, like Barnum and Bailey's. Come one, come all, but not really. They'd go around and let everybody know, hey, we're gonna be out over here we're having

a big meeting and look you don't have to join or anything we just want you to hear us out and like everybody went he's like we heard him out wasn't really for us you know the hoods and such that'd be hilarious like a like a sketch where like instead of a mormon coming to your house like it's a kkk guy and you're like you're like trying to be polite you're like i yeah i know man i oh whoa okay yeah sure i i'm in the middle of something right now i'm so sorry like a few can you not come back later ever like or just lie and be like oh how can i help you today? And then he'll leave. He'll be like, oh, I got it. A few months ago, someone,

it got posted onto Facebook, I think, and it showed up, like people were putting flyers up around town that said there was going to be a KKK rally in my county. They're like, the Klan's coming, and it's like, bring your kids, bring your friends. We're having a grill out. Yeah, just one just the one um but yeah it was like uh it's going to be in this county uh it's going to be at this location and like i saw it and i'm like this

is a troll this is absolutely a troll it has to be um like even if the clan was here you don't put flyers up outside a pizza hut like yeah um but i was like this is clearly a troll but i'm excited to see what happens and boy did something happen the sheriff had a speech like in a small tennessee county the sheriff had like local papers come and he was like we do not support this kind of tolerance why it's free speech we stand against it the judge uh the judge put out a statement the uh uh the the uh what what's like i'm going brain dead right now cop troller president yeah president of a county with mayor the mayor mayor yeah we got there we got we got it yeah one piece at a time yeah the mayor was like, they put out like a statement on Facebook that was like,

we do not stand by this. This isn't a part of blah, blah, blah. And the day came at the, it was the location that they had listed was by like a river bank, just out of town. When the day came,

pictures were going around on Facebook, like 200 pickup trucks with machine guns in the back of them like every every good old boy in the county showed up they were sitting on top of their ford f-150s with an ar-15 like let's see the clan try to rally in our county and they just stood out there for a few hours then went home it's all that happened that ain't the kind of shit we're for around these parts hey feller you take that

they let polacks in feller this ain't the kind of intolerance we're fond of around these parts me and my black wife are going to have to ask you kindly to get the hell out of our town.

My beautiful little Miss Grace kids don't need your hate anywhere near our beautiful city here. In Whiteburg, Tennessee. We don't say it by the Klan. No, we don't like it.

We take your shit out of here. They're like ripping on Klan's people for not being real Southerners. For not being real country people. This fella's wearing that. He ain't even on a farm. You bunch of carpet baggers coming down here, you can't wear

that on a farm. It'd get too hot. Feller, I got a feeling you're more of a 4chan shit poster than a silly fella. That was literally me reading. Your hands are looking mighty soft for a supposed man of the south.

I like the saying, all hat, no cattle. All hat, no cattle. That's good. That's what the chicken farmer would be. all hat, no cattle. All hat, no cattle. That's good. That's what the chicken farmer would be. All hat, no cattle. For sure. Well, I mean, we had some cattle. All hat, no cattle. I didn't do a lot of cattle stuff.

Oh, I wanted to talk about the cult. I've been watching The Wire. Well, okay, let's stay on cults. Actually, let's stay on cults. I thought you had another cult question. What he did have a cult question that got cut off. Do you remember? I was asking about how the money worked.

Oh, for the annual kids? Yeah. Well, in general, how do they get people to give up their resources and give them to someone? So it depends on the cult. Sometimes they'll have a few benefactors like sometimes they'll convince a couple rich guys and that's where most of the money comes from sometimes like i don't think waco was a cult to the degree people say it was but it's definitely a cult in some branch davidians the branch davidians yeah um the way that they did it is koresh just stayed at the compound but everyone everyone worked in town, and there was a communal fun.

How's that? Because they're called the Branch Davidians. Correct. As a kid that rolls off the tongue on the newscast, you don't ever stop to think about what it means. David Koresh leads the Davidians. You know what I mean? It's a cult.

The real question about that is, were they sexually abusing children and fostering an environment in which that was to be normal and commonplace? Or did the FBI lie about that after they burnt all those children alive? So from all the research, all the

stories I've read on the topic, I do think the FBI fostered the story. There were several CPS investigations before all of that went down. They were never able to turn up any evidence. And everyone who was a part of it vehemently attested that that didn't happen. I'd say it's 50-50. I'm 50-50 on it. Here's why.

Man, it just seems like historically and from every example we ever have whenever you have some dude who's running a cult he's he's it's all about pussy and it ends up being about underage pussy for some reason we haven't been able to put our finger on that one here yet despite all our study research expert woody here he's delved deep and hard and and he hasn't come up with as deep as i can i don't mean to brag yeah it hurts a while so but i don't know what they were i don't know if that was the case or not but i'd say 50 50 it was right just seems like it almost always that's what's going on even with like are the good religions the ones that we pretend aren't cults

it's like that's what's going on there too i'm gonna balance that out i'm gonna say uh zero percent chance they were doing that and it was the fbi lion so now now the average is back no i have i have done no research i have no idea okay so let me tell you about this so here's what i saw on the news and i don't i don't know if this was the fbi being like oh look at these look at what we found it was like a kid's sort of informational pamphlet that you would hand to like i don't know a kid to prepare them for their sexual life that's that's coming right around the corner like you know your body's changing like no more like uh david's gonna fuck you You may notice hair Where there wasn't hair before You may notice a man named David walking into your room

Arracked at night and demanding things of you This is all part of becoming a woman I saw those pamphlets on the news And the only question is If you could find out those were fake I feel like that's the little piece of evidence to me so i uh i looked into the pamphlets and from every article i read that was not evidence that was brought forward by any state department that was entirely mentioned by news sources and never backed by anything yeah all the cult members

said that it's kind of like you remember how after like well i i was too young to remember but looking back after 9-11 they were like oh and we found the the hijacker's passport in the record like that whole like no you didn't what are you talking about like it was kind of like that the news is like hey i know what we can do to be sensational for the next half hour sure um so from everything i read that's where that pamphlet come from like where'd it come from someone made that shit someone printed it off of a printer someone stapled it together someone someone drew those little stick figure children you know i mean someone wrote it and the only

answer that that comes to mind is that's the sort of thing that our government does sometimes when they're taking somebody down like a political figure or something like that they make those sorts of false evidences famously like if you look at the sort of things they were doing to martin luther king or malcolm x or um you know even we talked about you know it's people we don't like as well it's not like they're just picking on civil rights leaders also like fidel castro just all those wily coyote stunts they tried to pull making his beard fall out making him be on lsd during his speeches all that craziness kookiness and the the bad part is they kept failing somehow like how did fidel keep getting the best of us over and over the such

an l operation mongoose which was their their operation to kill him or depower him whatever is the dumbest so it's it's literally like they watched a bugs bunny cartoon and we're like we could do this we could what is it like so they it was an operation the cia put together that was off the books for a while uh the guy who headed it was man i forget his name he's the same guy who headed operation wailing soul uh which is when they tried to convince the vietnamese that there were ghosts in the jungle oh that's a good one yeah that it was the same guy the same guy and the same guy who uh staged the vampire attack in the philippines which i made a video

about yeah but that was his credit that he used to get that second literally that's the guy who they're like he's he's got castro in the bag he'll be fine castro notoriously afraid so the operation mongoose was uh essentially his series of plans to get rid of castro and some of the plans in there that they sent agents on to try to do was put exploding cigars in his cigar box um they tried to put poisonous pins in his slip in his house shoes so that he steps off attack and gets poisoned um or venom uh they tried to uh they tried to sabotage the cattle in um cuba because castro was famously a big fan of ice cream so they were like if we can get rid of ice cream yeah huge uh tonight it literally slim if if we can get their plan was if we can get rid of

ice cream he's gonna fall apart like he'll just be he'll fall apart at the seams he needs ice cream they tried to they tried to poison his ice cream on multiple occasions they try to have his server like spike it with something uh there was what kyle said they tried to spike his drink at meetings so he would go up to stage high yeah um i did hear they uh they that time they they painted a tunnel on a rock and it was insane fidel's fidel's fidel's limo approaches the rock they painted and the CIA was over there watching like we got him this time

I don't fucking believe it he drove through and the CIA was like alright we can still get him and they rushed to run through the rock as well bust their heads on it right on the ground it was humiliating

that was the down own guitars that's that was the downfall of that uh that weapon manufacturer what was acne acne yeah yeah yeah they made terrible weapons uh i could never recover after that yeah yeah they tried to kill him in so many a pint of ice cream is roughly 800 calories up like if he's eating vanilla ice cream i think a pint's like 800 calories, roughly, if it's full fat ice cream. You've got to imagine that 1960s shit is not skim milk. That ain't no oat ice cream.

That's some full, double fat. He must have been skimping on calories a lot of the day to afford 1,600 calories. Smoking those ciggies? He had two bowling balls in his belly. You can act like he stayed thin all the photos are a member of him are are like young him with that powerful beard remember like the young picture he probably got fat as hell here's the thing though remember how long he lived like like

he just died like 12 years ago or something no no it was like it was like four years ago four or five years ago but raul had taken over i guess maybe for a while yes yeah castro had been older to the side for a bit yeah i'm glad we opened that shit up like that's old business as far as i'm concerned like we should be able to get those cigars if they're actually any fucking good yeah it's stuck man uh they're just they just they're gross they just don't taste good have you ever like all right every time you start a cigar you're always feeling like i'm gonna feel classy i'm gonna get it and then you start a cigar, you're always feeling like I'm going to feel classy. I'm going to get it. And then you start it and you're thinking, I'm in this for an hour.

I've told this whole story before, but like I got into cigars and because I got like a humidor and maybe some other like accessories for Christmas one year. And I had like a $300 lighter. Like, let's we should probably buy a cigar. And and so I got into them and i realized right away like the regular like i don't know kind of cigars that like dudes smoke on a golf course just make me light-headed and taste like strong thick wet tobacco but the ones i like were these cigarillos that were somewhere kind of like that shit clint eastwood would always be chewing on like about

that diameter it's not a big fat cock that you're puffing on it's just a little bit bigger than a cigarette but it's brown wrapping and they're flavored i think it's more like a white guy swish or sweet if i'm being honest like they were classy or they were like you know they were the flavors you'd get at a gas station yeah but i think they maybe i think they probably actually used oranges and the ones i was smoking wood tip wines like like they were expensive and i was i would always stop and like for and the ones i was so you're smoking wood tip wines like like they were expensive and i was i would always stop and like for maybe a year i was smoking those things i would stop when we went to florida and uh at a like a cigar place that was there but every time went to vegas i would stock up but those i like but the but like what cigars aren't a big commitment

like you're just smoking a normal a little If you want to throw away half of your little cigarillo, you don't care. Oh, forget the time. And the other thing is, when do you light it up? It's got to be when you're back home, when you can smoke it freely. The worst thing ever is when someone's smoking one in your presence and it's disgusting.

I've played poker with a guy who smoked cigars before, and he was like, not right next to me, but one seat over. Ruined the whole night for me. I like the smell of cigars. Even if I don't like smoking them, they smell pretty good. He was smoking some, it was like unrolling and peeling apart, and he was gnawing at it incessantly. So it was all wet, and I would describe the appearance of his cigar as vulgar well then that is just that's a rude problem of him it seems because if he was just sitting there

like smoking it normally not like eating it's short and fat and i remember thinking like whose friend is this like like who is this person he didn't have a fucking the penguin hanging out honestly like not far from it he was such a gross old cocksucker. Isn't it weird? It's just nicer to have better looking people around, right? For sure. Pete Mears.

That's why I got rid of my third kid. You guys don't even know about him. We don't know about him. Hey, I'll go. Get the hell out of here. That kid didn't even get a name. No, no, you're so good at taking the picture that we need you to do it. Anyone else good at hiking? My little attic living photographer, you.

Woody's got some poor ugly kid in his garage just working on small engines out there. It ain't got no gas in it. Shut up! It doesn't run on gas. It's nitromethane, genius. I ain't never been to school, daddy. Pow, pow. If they were going to find you, they would have by now.

Don't you see that? That's Jackie's's laugh by the way she's the driving force if it was up to me i'd let you go but your mother you're like filling his milk to the absolute brim and like daring him to spill drop like the meniscus a big dome on top I didn't raise you to be a wastrel whack what is a wastrel

you know what a wastrel is someone who wastes things this is funny in 30 seconds there was this lore to him beating a child that was great this is his third kid the one who's not loved my fault he's ugly i was my that's half my fault maybe my little uh my little brother had a different name the one that was

miscarried before me like they named him and uh and uh no i always thought it was interesting though that like i didn't get his name you know what i mean like he he died you know like like i never like asked like how far along but it was far enough along that that he was a boy and they had a name and uh and i always thought that that was i never really thought about it too much until maybe just right now but like i didn't get his name you know he had his name and it was do you know what it was or did they just tell you we had one picked out it might have been brendan like for some reason that comes to comes to mind i didn't give it to you that's why they're like that's a fine name that's

okay like like i don't know like brendan frazier is the only one i can think of uh that's a brendan and like i went to school with six other Kyles. Something like that. It was stupid. It was like, in my grade alone, there was... I don't want to drop their names or whatever, but it was three others. Three others my age.

In my grade. And then there was another one that was a year younger. One that was two years older and one that was one year older and so like in high school it was like so many of us it was lame i don't remember kyle being that big but i remember like i knew a couple kyle's in high school i remember my parents like feeding me the bullshit line of like you know in the early 90s you know like 91 like taylor was a boy's name and over time i was like no because there's four taylors in my grade and i'm the only boy and we

were all born at the same time and so over time i realized like they wanted a girl like absolutely like not even close they were way more girl tailors. I met one other boy tailor. They didn't notice you were a boy until year three or something. Is that what happened? It became real obvious. Yeah. Until the baby came. Yeah, I remember feeling like I figured that out.

You have a boy. He's born today. What's his name? Oh, hmm. I don't know. Well, you name him after Zach. Zach? What is a good name?

Boy or girl? I want to think, what's a name that's coming back that I could get on the ground level with? Because I mean, like, Khaleesi, like, that sort of stupid shit. Like, it's cyclical. Not exactly what I did, but Yellowstone. Yeah, there's, like, not a lot of Kyles right now, I wouldn't think. But maybe, like, Rutherford is coming back. Oh, if you weren't a nameyle's right now i wouldn't think but maybe like oh rutherford yourself right now karen karen karen's being named right now just a son who fucking hates me i'm trying to make you tough i'm gonna be honest like Hey, settle down, homo. Settle down.

What about Jebediah? Now, stick with me here for a second, because you're going to call him Jeb. You're going to call him Jeb, but that's a hell of a signature, right? Like, that looks good on a fucking Bill Linder or something. Fucking Jebediah Industries. Shit, that's my...

Where's my little book at? These are... Honestly, after... This was not my book. shit that's my where's my little book honestly this was not my book after what Trump did to Jeb I don't want to I could do Jedidiah J-E-D Jedidiah but not Jebediah because Jebediah like lazy Jeb

yeah low energy that'll be so nobody will remember that in 5, ten more years, though. That's all we'll remember. No, we'll remember. But his cohorts, his age, they don't know who fucking Jeb is. Actually, you know what? You're right. I could name him after Jebediah Springfield, founder of Springfield and the Simpsons.

Yeah. Which is more impactful than most of the people in the Simpsons. Which is more empathically than most of the people in my life. I'll name him after Jebediah Springfield, who they say he was a fraud. They said that Wacking Day, when he drove all the snakes out of Springfield, they said it was nonsense, but it turns out

that his history is more important for the people of Springfield than the true horror that he committed. Like the Jelly Belly King or whatever from that all. Yeah. Rick and Morty universe. Just let this happen. Turned out that was just Justin Roiland.

That was just. Rapy Roiland is like, well, the problem is, is that he's a Daniel Day Lewis like method actor and it's a it's a running tv series and so like what he's gonna not method act what's the what's the most serious crime that you could get away with because of method acting as a as a defense shooting someone during a show in the middle of a movie killing someone in a movie all right let's just about that. So we didn't talk about last week. Alec Ball, when they charged him with involuntary manslaughter, I believe. And in case you don't know, the guy was making a movie. He's doing a rehearsal for a scene where he points a gun at somebody.

He did so. Whether he needed to pull the trigger or not, he did. Real bullet in it. Killed her dead. She is dead. And somehow they found him to be somewhat culpable. They believe he is of involuntary manslaughter. It just seems

absurd to me. It seems so absurd. Like, everything I've ever worked on, like, my God, it's so under... There's no bullets. Dude, there's no real bullets near the fake guns, and there's no... If there's gonna be fake guns, they're treated like real guns like but but he's the actor it's his job to hold that gun and use

it like a prop if it's handed to him he's not supposed to there are bullets in it by the way all the time there were supposed to be bullets in it fake bullets he has no way unless maybe i could tell the difference if there's dimple primers on a fake one which is my guess he would need to open the fucking chamber i don't know if it's one that has a a peaky kind of lever thing so you see the backs of the shells and load them one at a time or if it's got the the thing where it like can levers out um the cylinder does he would need to like look at the primers of bullets and be like oh something's amiss here no that it's so absurd that he's and i don't like that guy but he's like on set doing this every day right if every day i rent an airsoft gun from you and

go play right and then on the ninth day you swap out my airsoft gun with a real gun and they're otherwise identical like yeah oh i don't know it's the same thing it's the same thing it's the exact same thing if you ask me that as the scenario you just described where like i was here to rent a toy they gave me a gun like how am i culpable for using my toy in a setting where it was meant to be used and someone lied and made it a gun like it's it's it's so it's i hope he's okay i hope he doesn't get charged with that it's a weird precedent to set that if it doesn't seem like he deserves to be charged for it. I don't think he's very funny, but I don't think he murdered that woman

or manslaughtered her. I think he's a really good actor. I don't think I've really enjoyed anything he's done for a couple decades, but I remember that Hunt for the Red October, I think, where he's the Jack Ryan character. He's the guy going aboard the nuclear submarine with his

fucking hairy chest out. I remember all those movies he was in back then. The one where he comes in with the two balls and he talks to the salesman about coffee is for closers! Oh yeah, he killed that scene. For like a decade, Alec Ball was one of the best-looking, sexiest, most talented actors on the planet.

And, you know, I didn't really enjoy when he was shitting on Trump. You know why? Because he was good at it. Because he was good at it. He's good at shitting on Trump. His Trump impression? He's excellent. He does the lip thing.

Yeah, he did pretty well so i credit credit stew yeah he did he does have a good trump yeah so we uh we uh we shouldn't have done this but when we were on the movie set we were working with blank guns while we were there and there was a lot of the crew there who was from new york never been around firearms before and a lot of them were really skittish you know like okay well just the armor touches them and maybe a couple producers we don't want so they were nervous and as soon as that started happening we just started airdropping each other pictures of alec baldwin with no context oh yeah so i'd be up i'd be up there standing we had like an M249 that we were doing

a scene with and I'm standing there with the armor talking over like how to do the shot and I get a buzz and just look down and it's a picture of Alec Baldwin and I just have to keep talking like nothing happened I've never worked with like toy guns it was always deadly stuff so we always

got the same like manner your videos would have sucked with toy guns. Yeah. We did some paintball videos. Those were fun. I watched one of my paintball videos the other day. Today we are going to turn this fridge lime green. 46 feet away. Wow, isn't this great content?

But there was a bunch of times when I would be the guy there that was responsible for a bunch of guns and a bunch of bullets. And there would be at least three or four people there that are here to shoot them and have never shot a gun before. And like that's I've never done anything like that before. I don't have any range safety training. I've never really been to many ranges before that had rules. I've been shooting in a field my whole life yeah so that was fun to kind of learn on the fly to try to keep everybody safe

and try to get that shit like filmed and everything because i don't i can't remember if hex had ever even shot a gun and i was like counting on some of them to be like i don't know i thought about the kex yeah he's from chicago he's he's mexican like dude's probably been he's probably been like rat-a-tat-tat his whole life or something. I didn't know what everybody's level. Wild assumptions. I don't know.

That classic Hispanic gun stereotype. I didn't mean it that way. I think of him as a manly man. A dude's dude. He didn't have a pussy or anything. If, like I think of him as like a, a manly man, like a dude, dude, like, like he, he knew Pussy or anything. So like, if you're,

if you're that kind of guy and you live here, like, yeah, you've got a shotgun in your truck. Probably. What kind of, you have, is it a Benelli?

Like, you know, like, I don't know. I just kind of, yeah, nobody had shotguns before. I don't think nobody had ever shot a fucking gun.

And it was, it was so fucking fun. That was one of the most fun things I've ever done. Like, I don't think a lot of people watch that and I loved it because i i wasn't getting paid for views i wasn't getting paid to like produce this thing for them so i care if anybody watched it it was just episode after episode where it was so much fun to do that shit that was so fun it was um i've told it before and it's mean to even say but whatever but but like the the one guy who was known for sniping was like really

struggling with the sniper part of the competition and it was he was on the verge of tears he was just like you don't understand this shit's not gonna play because on the internet this is the guy yeah This is the guy who invented FaZe Clan. Oh, the competition? No. I don't know. Look, it got edited so nobody looked like a fool or anything.

You know what I mean? When somebody misses something 20 times in a row and we got to give them a new magazine, we just throw that away. That didn't happen. Did you ever do something where like they couldn't hit it so you got a shot of them shooting and you were like give me the give me the fucking gun ping and like then you like put that cut in no because like like i was in charge of designing all of the shots too this is called the controller by the way if anybody wants to watch it on youtube again don't give a shit if you do or not it's but it's called the controller um medal of honor

warfighter god they made me say that so many times medal of honor advanced warfighter over and over i had to say that shit every segment that began with those fucking words but i set up sec i set up games if you were competitions where everybody was going to make something blow up eventually it was really a matter of how long it took you to make the thing blow up but everybody blew something up it was just it was really about how who could do it fastest this is so like i've never seen this video and yeah it's on and i watched a ton of fps russia back in so if you see um um all of that anytime a gun goes off those are real bullets i'll just say that you maybe

you'll get to some parts where you think you're like no that wasn't real was it um because like for some reason they made and we filmed all in a row i think i was changing shirts maybe even but but it's like to begin to end every segment or maybe to begin them they're like punctuated with me shooting a gun comically to like start the race and then every time it's like a bigger more ridiculous handgun now i had fun making that bro opening this video to a machinima logo is like a ptsd yeah good guys the guys. And the whole concept was that those special forces guys were going to kind of coach the nerds or the gamers or whatever up to be shooters and vice versa. Because then they had to go back to L.A. and film the second half of this shit. And that's all like in a studio with them playing video games. And they were begging me to go out to L.A. and help them fix that.

They were like like so we we have a lot of great footage of you guys blowing things up in the fields and that's great that was only supposed to be 50 of the show though like it's supposed to be equally compelling when they go play video games in a studio and then they get into editing and it's like this isn't working and i played hardball i think and i was like i'm'm not coming unless you pay me a godly amount of money. And they wouldn't pay. And I didn't care, though. I had other work I was doing, but I wouldn't go without them.

Kyle, you said that the editing was gracious to these guys. It was not gracious to these guys. No, I didn't say it was gracious. Oh, it wasn't? They look bad? Okay, so if you go to the video on Optic Gaming at 1.28 and watch this guy shoot the M14, I think he audibly screams when he fires it. Does he have a shaved head?

No, he looks like he's 19 years old. I don't want to clown on whoever this is. Yeah, it's okay. Look, like I said, none of those guys have shot guns before. Right, right. Yes, absolutely. One of them, I think I gave a couple of them like really quick training courses but it amounted to a safety class it was most 80 of what i told them was what to do when you put the gun down like right fair fair it's like you know not to point it over here not to point over there like yeah no matter what

happens like it's just some basic shit that keeps us all alive. Because they've got those real guns. Those kids shoot A-12s at one point. No way. Are you serious? I'm sorry. I don't mean to be watching a video during the podcast. No, we should probably move along. I just remembered how fun that was and how awful it was at the same time. Kyle, you said you were going to live in your place. Oh, do you want to do the ad, Taylor? Yes, yes.

Alright. Seems like a good breaking point. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Death by Gummy Bears, the real DBG, realdbg.com. Fuck, I have to open the read again. realdbg.com.

The fucking government. As I scroll up the conversation. up the half of one last night i will say really quick the top comment on that video says seems like everyone revisits this video from a random pka podcast i bet they do sorry no you're good so uh happy February from DBG, realdbg.com. We're excited to announce that our hardest-hitting Delta 8 product is back on the market after a temporary hiatus due to a little government oversight. You've probably been to their site and saw the products are all out of stock. Well, no longer at realdbg.com, realdbg.com. Go there.

Check it out. I got a message earlier today they got all of their stuff back in stock uh the reason it was out of stock for a while is the fucking government once again tried to rule by overreach they've gone through a major faiths list and rebrand and so when you get them you're going to want to go to real dbg.com as with a lot of this space of Delta 8, some other companies are trying to sell copycat products. And so anywhere you see these DBG Death by Gummies that isn't real DBG.com, you're not going to get the real product. It's not going to be the potent gummy that we enjoy. So real DBG.com, check that out.

Often imitated, never duplicated. Yes. And so real DBG.com, check that out and imitated never duplicated yes and so real dbg.com check it out pka 23 pka 23 is the code at real dbg.com that's 23 off also they wanted me to mention that they just knocked down the price off of their 2500 milligram gummy containers by $20. So I guess it used to be like $79, $80 with our code for it. Now it's like $60 with our code. So it's a lot cheaper now. That's enough drugs to send you to another realm of existence.

Okay, I ate half of one of those, and there's 25 of them in there. I ate half of one of those last night, and I had such a great evening. They're strong as shit. CNN was funny. Yes, CNN yes it'll make things funny or you'll go too far and you'll just be sleeping for 15 hours so real dbg.com you got to go to real dbg.com use code pka23 that's where you'll get the real death by gummies real dbg.com check them out and i believe also on wonkyweeds.com pka 20 is still up so if people prefer the vapes and all that stuff over at wonkyweeds uh pka 20 still works over there so if you're not a gummy guy more of a vape guy check that out and then uh all three of he messaged me

yesterday and said that they're now branching out into hhc gummies. Yeah. And so we're all, yeah, it's more potent. Yeah. The most potent vape. And he said that we're all going to be getting those. He wants us to try them and then report back with, with how we feel about them. And it was funny that like last week I was like, just organically.

I was like, I've tried a weed drink before and I didn't like it. That shit, it was bad. And then he messaged me and he's like, Hey, we actually just made a weed drink. and i didn't like it that shit it was bad and then he messaged me and he's like hey we actually just made a weed drink we're sending it to you guys so hopefully well who knows i don't know we'll see if i like it i i prefer the vapes and the gummies i'll try it but i would be honest that i'm the drinks are never going to be for me um that's not how i'm

gonna gonna go about it but those vapes their vapes get me dummy high like if i'm just gonna chill on the couch and uh and watch like a a couple episodes of the wire or something which i've been watching a lot of recently i'm into season two i get that fucking um hhc these ones oh my god yeah mine's not in the pack anymore because i've been devouring it i don't mean it it's it's drugs it's so goddamn strong it's very hard the the hhc carts hit hard so wonky weeds if you want those code pk20 over there code pk23 on real dbg.com again that's the only place you can get actual death by gummies is real dbg.com if you try and get them from anywhere else it's not going to be the same product and you're going to be like the fuck so check it out

uh we've got another drug related sponsor uh that zach linked me hold on yes go grab that that's such a funny story what he got what he got this package and he saw the name of the product and thought that they his wife had gotten sex toys and he saw the name of the product and thought that his wife had gotten sex toys. Look at the size of the box. Not that box, the other one. The other one's like a fucking, you get an air fryer in it. Tell me you don't see it. Hmm?

Careful it'll fall out of there in its glass. Yeah, careful. Don't let it fall out. It could be. Well, not to my eye, but you know, I am a fella. I've never used one of these before really not even a single time this might be the first one i've touched in real life okay so that's actually my like go-to if i were gonna like back in the day i had something like similar to that that i've popped ounce i don't know pounds out of yeah that's the one where you

you know you put your thumb on the carb that this is a really good one so i didn't that was so is the card um the the hole that your thumb goes on the little b This is a really good one. Is this the carb? The hole that your thumb goes on. The little bitty hole. Ignore that. I don't know what the fuck that is. I think that's a reservoir for expansion when it freezes, is my guess about that little nub there. I don't know what that does. I just saw the bubble. I don't think it's water. I think it's some sort of gel.

We'll find out what it is in this read. I'm sorry. I wanted you to hold it up there. I'm sorry. This episode. Oh, no, no, no, no. I wanted you to hold it up there. That was good. No, we're learning as we go. We're learning.

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do you use this because it this part comes out of it but this part has the glycerin in it all around there and so you put this in the freezer freeze it plug it back into here yeah and then you take this little piece and just slip it on there and it keeps it all no that's awesome see i think it's fucking sick this looks this is probably like the coolest looking bong i've ever owned it's it's awesome and then this thing this is going to be so convenient like you can like it's got that little swirl so it's got like the long distance through there and then also it's going to be frozen and so it's like you're going to get the benefit of a bong like as far as temperature obviously this isn't a water pipe so it's not going to be as smooth as the other one but i'm excited to go to the fucking dispensary

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aren't you, champ? So check this out. I heard Bobby Lee talking about how he ejaculates, essentially. The guy was like, he's like, I've never shot. And the guy's like, well, you've never had an orgasm? He's like, no, no, like shot. He's like, cum's never like, he's like, i like to say that my penis cries wait so this come just like drivels like like like tears rolling down like just just sort of leaking out this will have you

shooting and and then the pre-cum is a bit of a treat throughout the event if half of what bobby lee says is like his life, it's one of the most pathetic lives that have ever been lived by someone rich, powerful, and famous. It's, it's a despicable kind of existence.

If he's genuinely half of that is real, it's hard. I hate that it gets recommended to me, but it's like a, it's all right so the way the algorithm works i don't want to see gore but if you were to send me a video of someone getting hit by a car i'd probably watch the whole thing that doesn't mean i want more but youtube doesn't know that so i get a lot of bobby lee that's how i would describe a bobby lee video it's someone

getting hit by a car i mean i don't like the first time i like found out who Bobby Lee was, it was listening to old Opie and Anthony. And they had a retarded man named Bobo, part of their whack pack. And one of the bits was that they would bring him in and they would take his pants off. And he had a horrible little micro penis. And as I said, he was a retard. And they would start talking about a woman's big soapy tits. And they'd all watch as he got like a raging little erection and then jimmy would start asking him about the mets stats and like

watch the dick go down and it's very funny and bobby lee was in there once and that was going on the patrice one's the best clip ever but the bobby lee one they like like he will do anything like they convinced him to like spit on the retarded naked man's penis. To get down near it and spit on it. In other showings, they'd be like, Bobby Lee's back. I guess it can't be anything like last time. Remember when he spit on Bobo's dick? He's been a wild one for a while. But he was entertaining on the show i liked when he was

like because he was so out of there and it's hard to even discern whether or not his neuroticism is put on it doesn't seem put on that much like he's very convincing in it but yeah it's it's just upsetting i don't i don't like that at all bobo yeah yeah bobo yeah he he was uh he was hilarious but i mean it wasn't like him being funny it was what was being done to him that's funny but but and like and i remember like i would watch the bobo highlights and i'd go to the like oh like this is awful but like he'd be standing there like liking it like having here's the thing you described him as retarded but i would say and i don't think that's likerue, but it's a spirit. It was more like a guy who had a head injury

retarded, right? It seemed like he was all there in a lot of ways. His Met statistic thing was, he's like, oh yeah, 1983, you had Robbie, the arm, McKinnells. He was pitching. That year he had 14 wins in this ERA. But then

his dick's out and there's an Asian man spitting on it at the same time. So he's clearly not all there. No. Like they could convince him to do anything. And he would do anything. And so that's why, like, there's a, I won't talk about ONA anymore, but listen to, there's a clip called Opie and Anthony, Jimmy Saves the Show.

And it's a very short clip for like listeners who don't know about ONA and want to listen. It's literally Anthony and Opie on the phone with Bobo. Bobo's at Times Square. Up here. Up here. They'll be like, alright. Anthony's like, alright, Bobo. You see any illegals?

He's like, I don't know. This usually is a good spot for illegal. They're like we go to up to an illegal and demand their papers this is like 2008 and at one point bobo walks up to like a hispanic he's like i i found one i found one they want to know if you have your papers are you an illegal and then jimmy has to go bobo go home go home. Go home and go to bed, Bobo. Go home. No one's going to take our side when this makes the news, guys.

You want to lose this game? That we're goading a retarded man into asking for foreigners' papers in Times Square? Bobo, go home! Like, it's so screaming. And it's fucking hilarious. If that convinces anyone to go listen to old ONA, they will very much enjoy it. The show that brings me the most laughs in life. Nothing makes me laugh out loud more than old Opie and Anthony.

Nothing like, well, even when you go back now, it hasn't, hasn't aged at all. I mean, it ages a bit, but like I was running through the old Patrice stuff.

I was listening to all the Bobby Kelly bashings. I was in all the, all the rich foss stupidity compilation it's just tremendous it makes me it's a comfort thing for me i'll tell you what has not aged very well and that is the wire in my eyes now the quality is off the off the charts it's incredible so far i'm in season two and and i still like it um you know the the acting the writing the the cinematography it's the breaking bad guy behind the camera for like a lot of the seasons i think i read okay um it's the police brutality

it's the police brutality i like on once i'm on cnn like watching about those five cops that beat that man to death and then i'm watching the wire and the good guys are beating a guy just like that. Just like that where they're holding him up and beating the shit out of him. And then the next episode a character that we're supposed to think of as a doofus mostly

but a good guy blinds a 14 year old for leaning on his car. The kid shows up later with an eye patch and they beat the shit out of him for something unrelated he's like running drugs through a parking lot they just beat the shit out of him that's pretty extreme yeah there's a great scene where one of the like drug dealers or whatever like pops a cop punches him in the face and like an arrest type situation he's an

older cop so he goes down hard and they start beating the shit out of him. Every cop within reach. And you look, and here comes Kima, the female cop, and she is sprinting, and you think, thank God Kima's here to save this kid. Thank God Kima is there. She's sprinting so she can get her licks in.

When she gets there, she's like, you don't never hit a police! And she's using her, but she's got a flashlight! And she's stomping this kid out and they beat the kid to half the death. You don't never hit a police! And it's like, damn!

That's our best, smartest character we have on the scene. There's no one else who will show up and say, that's too much of a beating if anything the people who aren't there would want a more severe beating to be taking place because all the cops are dirty like the whole the whole thing that everybody goes yeah get them about omar is omar lies in court on a guy and sends him to life in prison like like that that's

their big win for the good guys mcnulty's like looking at stringer bell like yeah we're not on the streets anymore they were in the courtroom and it's like dude you just had that guy lie and under under under oath to on this other guy that was true what he said but he wasn't there to see it you know he's yeah, I saw him kill that guy. No, you didn't. You just know he did it. Anyway, it doesn't fucking age well because the cops are such like lying pieces of shit. The way they'll intimidate people into getting into their cars. He's like, we'll play it like she doesn't have a choice.

Like, come on, get in the car. We're going downtown. And then they try that shit on one of the Polack guys. And he's like, the fuck we are. The fuck we're going anywhere if you want me to go anywhere with me with you you got to put me under arrest in that case i want to talk to my shop steward and he's gonna call my the local 133rds lawyer downtown and he's going with me in that car and they're like fuck you fat man and they walk away

they didn't have anything else they were just trying to bully him that's how cops are man they're big mean bullies are you watching Yellowstone yet and if not why haven't you started no I looked for it on on my streaming services and I didn't see it anywhere except for like having

to buy or get peacock yeah and gobble gobble, bitch. What are you doing? I have to convince myself that there's more on Peacock for me to be interested in now because I'm not going to buy a service for the whole show. Here's Peacock.

You get The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, those NBC sitcoms. That's about all there is of value. There's some reality shows. Don't care um dakar desert racing dakar no no i already forgot to cancel fucking motor trend from when i watched all the are you on the flex deal no not yet i need to i need to get on oh yeah i should just do plex i guess right because then i can in theory that has all of them in theory yeah that guy that

guy I think your Plex guy messaged me on Discord, but I wasn't sure if it was your guy, and I never sussed out whether it was or not. I should probably get it clear on that, because I'm not paying for your anymore. Yeah. I don't think he has

that. I'll figure it out. I'll find a goddamn stream. I'm just not paying for us anymore man like like they raised the price he'll be back they didn't get him um they raised the price like on both ends i think i think the pay-per-views are like 80 something dollars and like the the monthly service has gone from like 9.99 to maybe south of 13 or 14 or 15 or some shit like they're going crazy and then do you see that they sold the red and blue corners that's not good enough anymore they're the fucking prime hydration corners

that's logan paul's fucking energy drink yes i saw paul's the fucking corners of the ring now headline that logan paul signed a deal with the ufc and i'm like no way he's not fighting he's selling his energy drink in it and apparently that energy drink is going bonkers. And it's just crushing the world. And he's making a gazillion dollars. I haven't tried it. I haven't tried it either. But it's on shelves.

It's in quickie marts and all that fun stuff. I'm glad this sparked my memory. Sierra Mist. You guys familiar with this soda, right? Of course. You've been in restaurants. You're like, hey, give me a Sprite. We have Sierra Mist. Is that okay of course of course it was it always was

never cared extent it's gone they replaced it there's no what's it called now something fucking stupid it's like sparkle or something starry that's what it is starry i saw i kept seeing commercials for starry and i was like what's this bootleg off-brand nonsense starry i saw i kept seeing commercials for starry and i was like what's this bootleg off-brand nonsense starry it looked like it looked like like a billionaire had been like i'm gonna take on big cola and like made some ugly ass like yellow can it and they're even their the commercial was shit it was just a can spinning and it said starry like like what i didn't know what the fuck it was yeah i mean yeah it's not that i mean sierra mist isn't was never like that incredible that branding like sprite was better slightly it doesn't look modern or maybe it does i it it looks like it's a cartoon soda it looks like this is what they drink in a rick and morty episode like like this is bart's favorite fucking soda

this would be like it has me curious i want to slurm it looks like futurama yeah slurms mckenzie's gonna come in from the corner and start dancing and partying i'm not taking a sip of that shit that's slurm i i saw this in a grocery store the other day and it made me physically upset just like are you serious because i like sierra mist but now it's just gone it It doesn't exist anymore, so that's cool. Yeah. You know what else doesn't exist? Surge. Is Surge around anywhere?

Remember Orbitz? I didn't have it. Do you know what Orbitz was? Orbitz was this fruity beverage that had those little tapioca balls floating in it. They were like, oh, nobody was. Nobody was. Somehow they were suspended equally throughout the solution of beverage. That sounds super amazing.

Show me a picture of Orbit, Zach. This is going to blow everybody's mind. I bought a bottle of this when I was like... It was born too late. I was like eight or nine or something like that. I remember we stopped at the gas station near Gumlock and I got a bottle of this shit and immediately regretted it.

Damn it, I could have had a Sierra Mist. I could have had a Dr. Pepper or something. It was one of those things where it's like, alright kids, grab a soda. And I picked that one. Dad was like, that thing's $3.50. You sure you want it? And I was like, yeah! And this is what I got. I got the white one. The one on the

left. That looks awful, man. That looks terrific. It looks European. What does it taste like? Suspended jelly. It was fruity, I think. I think it was like pineapple and coconut maybe. That's my memory. It was something tropical. That does look fun. I would enjoy an Orbitz.

This was during the time of Zima as well because I remember vividly that Zima was being advertised in that gas station for whatever reason. You can buy them on eBay right now. I wonder. Unopened? Yeah, they look unopened to me. I only took a sip.

$20 for the drink and $17 for shipping? Whoa, this one's from 1997. Unopened. That would have been like the year probably i remember when i went to uh maine they had blueberry soda and apparently it's like a rear like a kind of rare thing that's only done up there they just they make it the same way they do root beer uh that's one of the most amazing drinks i've ever had i bought like 48 of them to just keep crack them open for celebrations

that rare drink is amazing but i'll take like the black cherry cola from i think it's ibc oh sure it's so sweet it is as good as anything ever made yeah i've got some ibc cream in my fridge like every like two years i buy a four pack it's 180 calories of soda and i had one last night and it was like this is this was worth it this is so good like you take small sips because it's like a it's like almost too rich of a beverage to guzzle like you would some other swill and i have a good point because after like after i finished the one ibc cream soda i wasn't like i wish i could drink like three more it was like no i'm solid on sodas like i'm bouncing back to diet sodas you know i'm not gonna have some water after that and

it comes out of a quality glass bottle which adds to the experience it does glass bottles are are just so much writing sort of engraved into the bottle or yeah it's a haptic i don't know what like it's not just it's not the opposite of engraved it's raised and it's it's uh haptic i don't know what like it's not just it's not the opposite of engraved it's raised and it's it's incredible molded into it or something i don't know i like the old timey feel i'll tell you though like virgil's um makes a tremendous here's what i like about them it's just as much about the presentation as the root beer to me it's the best root beer i've ever had um they come in like that one liter cantver bottle, but I remember it said something about the Bavarian nutmeg

that was an ingredient on the bottle and I was like, fucking sold. But when you open it, it's like this little timey thing. You're like a pirate and you just found some old bottle. And when you

flick that cantilever top and you're like, holy shit, we just opened something up. It's such a big bottle. You have to pour it. It feels fancy. That's my favorite root beer. But Woody's right. That black cherry IBC shit that's at

the grocery store is just so sugary sweet. We got Old Soaker. Old Soaker blueberryaker. Old Soaker blueberry soda. Blueberry soda. Yeah, I found it. I brought out a bottle up there. This stuff's incredible and it's only made in Maine, apparently, at Bar Harbor. It's so good. I never had a blueberry soda.

Neither did I until I went to Bar Harbor. It was great. It was a magical little land I visited for a short amount of time where the blueberries make soda. There's like artisan sodas especially cream soda and root beer specifically you know i personally hold those in a higher esteem than sort of the meme sodas that you see where it's like mike's hard lemonade soda and it's like fuck you fuck you i'm picking up space where there could be cream soda you know idiot but like I love

it there's this like grocery store that it's called Straub's here and it is like the richest rich person grocery store I haven't been in one in years but it's like expensive as fuck very artisan and I remember like they had a whole aisle

that like was nothing but individual artisan sodas like it was a small little place but it was an entire aisle of it and it was brands you could like you would you could go to 50 other stores and never find them and like little like like lennonade like little jokey ones like that like like vladimir lennon on there with like a lennonade you know soda like those kind of things but like like they had the haha bullshit ones where it's like you're not going to get me with that i know that's a meme that soda's not going to be good and but then they had like all the real ones and like the ibc and virgil's adjacent ones you're not tempted and it was great i am like i all right obviously i want to try

i could in theory get that anytime I wanted. I see like sour cabbage soda. Alright, that sounds horrible, but this is my only opportunity to try sour cabbage. I'll never see it again. Someone has to like it. Someone has to be into this. I remember like at Disney World

when I was maybe 11 for some reason they had like maybe it was Epcot. They had like a jerky stand, like jerky world. And I, in my head, it was like, I've had beef jerky and deer jerky. That's what jerky is. And they had alligator jerky, ostrich jerky. And like, I was like, as a, what was I 10 year old? Like, I was like really excited at the prospect of like getting to eat these different kinds of animals. And so I got some alligator jerky and like, so immediately I was like,

Oh, I've, I've been had like, it's, it tastes exactly the same. It's just tough meat with doused in seasoning. It wasn't different enough for me to like get excited. It was real alligator.

It was real alligator. And like the part of it that like excited me was like, I'm eating something cool. Like I'm eating something that's hardcore and that like eats other things yeah i'm top of the food chain now i'm top of the food well eight-year-olds eating an alligator and it's like it was probably like a baby farm down like cherry cola who's that fentimans this is fentimans Who's that? Fentimans?

This is Fentimans. Fentimans cherry. Is that like an elixir from an age gone by? What is that? It looks like a cherry on it or something. My name is Jeremiah Pemberton. You must have an elixir. It'll take a week to work. And by that time, you're only 100 miles from here.

I bought it purely because of the dog logo have you tried one yet? or did you buy a one off? yeah they're pretty awful you know the first fucking sign that this is going to be shit it's got 90 god damn calories in it is that a plastic bottle too?

no it's glass but with a twist off right that's what made me think it was plastic's glass, but with a twist off, right? That's what made me think it was plastic. This has got to be a lot cheaper than the... I don't know, maybe this is more expensive. I would think this is a more expensive process than the traditional crimping thing. Silly sodas aside,

what is the airline that you always prefer and what is the airline that you will never fuck with again? I don't think I'll fuck with United anymore. I've had... I just have a bad luck with getting delayed with them. And I've had great luck with Delta.

And I haven't flown since the Southwest thing. But honestly, Delta and Southwest, I've never had an issue with either of them. So I will always go Delta. The only thing that would keep me out of a delta plane would be if it's like one of those little short hops that you got to do sometimes it's oh my god it's a 25 minute flight like like we can't those um or you know if it's international they just don't go but it seems like delta does everything the only time i've had to stray was i

took virgin once from seattle to la because Delta doesn't do that trip and Virgin does. Virgin is probably the best airline if I'm being honest, but they're like one of those things where you're paying like 30% more and getting like 10% better service than Delta. I love Delta. I'll always go Delta. I will never fuck with United.

Ever. Really? They're so shitty. Some of the things they've done remember they're the ones who drug that asian that older asian er doctor off beat him bloody and drug him off the plane because he didn't want to surrender the seat that he was occupying that he had paid for and the reason they wanted his seat were trying to send some united employees to kentucky why did you want to go to kentucky sir and he's like my patients and they beat him bloody and drug him off the plane he got paid um and then there's the famous famous story of

that guy whose guitars he's watching his guitars being damaged as they're loaded on the plane he's like hey my guitars no and they're like yeah fuck it he gets there sure enough they were his guitars very valuable guitars ruined after exhausting every other avenue what does he do makes a youtube video called united breaks guitars yeah and it breaks guitars it's excellent it's like he spent some money to make this and it i think it's around 20 million views these days, probably. They should have paid for his guitar. They eventually did.

They eventually did. But little things like that alone, when I see that, I'm like, ah, I'm with you. They broke your guitars? Fuck them. Delta's so cool. Delta lost one of Kitty's bags one time. this is when we lived two and a half hours from the atlanta airport they're like we don't have your bag and and so

we go home the next day they're like we have your bag it's it's made it here from chicago we're gonna drive it to you it'll be there in two and a half hours and they sent some asshole out and in a little car with her bag and he knocks on the door i'm i'm very sorry here's some fucking vouchers for whatever the fuck and here's your bag and i was blown away by that level of like i know a little bit about that i had a um a co-worker back when i was a young programmer and this guy was my senior programmer i worked with who previously loaded and unloaded bags onto airplanes as his job. And what happened was, is the end of the day, there were like a bunch of lost bags

and they would get paid like, Hey, you know, this one's not far from your house. A little 15 minute journey outside of your way, drop this bag off at the dude's house and we'll give you, it was like 30 bucks, 50 bucks or something. But he's like, yeah, you do three of those. you it was like 30 bucks 50 bucks or something but he's like yeah you do three of those you end up working an extra 40 minutes and you pick up you know nearly half your pay over again and that's how that system worked yeah so those delta to me like if anybody's i don't know if you're new to flying like i guess every now and then somebody's like getting to the age or so yeah i'm gonna start flying places how do you pick your brand right i guess you'd have to do a bunch of market research. Just go Delta. Especially in the southeast.

There's no reason to go anywhere else. You're probably right. I think Delta has a hub in Atlanta. They seem better to you than they might seem if you live in Raleigh. I just choose by price and the time.

Have you done front? I'm sorry? I was going to ask. Have you ever done... I'm sorry? I was going to ask if you've ever done Spirit, Spirit's business model. When I was young, I've done Spirit. I've done Spirit in Southwest, but mostly I fly first class and I just pick it on price

and the time of day and that's it. People give Spirit a hard time because they feel like they're getting hit with hidden fees, and they don't understand the business model. There aren't any hidden fees. What they do is they make every little bit of air travel itemized so that you can pick the specific ones that you want to get. And if your only concern is price, they'll allow you to just buy, pay attention to the words here,

a seat on the plane. Not the seat on the plane. A seat. If you want to pick your seat, that's extra. Want to print out your boarding pass? That's extra too. Want to bring a bag of any kind? That's extra.

Both kinds, like carry-ons cost carry-on cost extra yes everything and they i their ceo had this quote he's like why wouldn't i pack as many seats as possible onto like a dc-10 or whatever they fly it's not the i can't remember the the plane they fly those ac130, let's go with it. Yeah, the AC-130s that Spirit uses. We're going to Nam, boys! I saw a picture of the leg room. That leg room was abominable.

It wouldn't work for a man. It looked like children should be in there, like school bus seats. This sounds like bullshit rationalization, but I've always had issues with air sickness. In first class, i don't have that problem really like it's just a better experience so you're not as cramped in maybe that's it maybe it's the drinks and the you know the waitress who's there for you all the time maybe whatever it's just better i like that hot towel

yeah i i don't know if i always get a hot towel i like the i usually get hot nuts somehow that's delta won't do peanuts i don't know that's the other reason it might be cashews there that'll come back but yeah they serve you like warmed nuts and i'm like this is actually kind of a cool snack i uh no i um i will not fuck with united though that. That sounds scary. Delta lost my shit one time, but they got it back to me. That's the other thing. When they have fucked up, which you just assume is eventually going to happen, it's crazy that there's a system that allows

that many people in bags to get to the right place most of the time anyway. Anytime I see my bags come out of that carousel, I'm like, oh, it made it again! How did it happen? When they lose my bags, they so lost like like when i was in mexico it's like where are my bags now like i don't know new brunswick why did they even go that way that's not on the way for north carolina to make them go my gosh i'll tell them to come back

yeah but they got to me eventually. It was an issue, but whatever. It was an adventure trip. That's just a different adventure than I expected. I saw a World War II thing. I think it was Denmark. And I always wondered kind of this, I guess. I knew that after World War II, the Germans immediately started rebuilding.

I've seen films of them carrying beams around and like everybody like moving stones and like clearly they like got everything cleared up but the um it was a it was a denmark i think where they like made the germans stay and remove the mines that they had planted and you might think ah man that must have been a rough week. No. It was a year and a half. And the men slash boys that they forced to do this died at a rate of 50%. Half of the forced anti-mine detachment of captured Germans died. That sounds like they weren't well equipped.

That sounds like there's not a single landmine left in Denmark. Have you seen the machines that the Americans... 50% casualty, 100% success rate. There's an American machine. It looks a little like a steamroller, except instead of a steamroller that hits the ground, it's elevated and it has, I'll make this up, like eight-foot chains that slap on the ground as it drives by.

And if the landmine does go off, it's kind of in front of the machine by eight feet. And the guy operating it is well protected. And I'm just like, that looks like it really work. I can't imagine a mine. It would miss. And you just kind of plow it.

Well, they thought, why would we don't have a lot of those big fancy chain swinging machines, but we do have quite a few German big fancy chain swinging machines but we do have quite a few german boys here that will do whatever we a lot of german children yeah a lot of german children yeah i'm pretty sure that's like 99 accurate taylor's telling them how like the in denmark um if that's a place still they uh they forced german uh boys and young men post-world war ii to clear up the mines they had planted it took them a year and a half and half of them died doing it

like hundreds of them i've heard war is hell my children do that well he's calling 15 to 22 year old mostly into war vermont soldiers which were like 15 that is children i've heard wars hell my whole life it has never sunk in in between my ears anyway like it has since ukraine started there's just been this all quiet on the western front the movie combined with the combat footage i've been seeing there i think something about the ukrainian wars especially kind of world war ii ish with drones and little one okay yeah yeah trenches i agree especially recently like in my trenches artillery and like long-range rifle fire with like little that would mechanize stagnation maybe it's world war one you're right the front lines moved much more until this winter like you know that they lost a lot this is the ukrainians they gained a lot and it seems like for four months now they've roughly been where they are so they're dug in

and it's i don't have the vocabulary to explain just how brutal it is to exist in ukrainian winter doing and and you'd think that the trench warfare where they're like fucking chest barrel boom boom boom boom shooting each other blind around corners is the worst of it but like for my heart the you did nothing wrong you were quietly napping in a fox under a blanket under a blanket under sometimes a tarp and they still put a fucking vog grenade right next to thep, blows the tarp off so we get to see the destruction of the person under it. It's like, that guy isn't even bad at

warring. I don't know if that's... No, it's good. He's a warrior. He's right. He's right. He's right. He warms. I guess I thought... In Vietnam, for example, if you're good at being a soldier, your survival rate goes up quite a bit here. You can be good and still die.

And it's it's I like seeing the tactics and and the tech rapidly like change because like early in the war, the Ukrainians did this thing where they took like a regular old drone and they put like a fake looking gun on it and they chased a russian and it was it was funny we were like haha look at him run he thinks that drone can hurt him what a dummy he thinks it's like some kind of machine gun drone now yet today i saw the newest drone so this thing holds like six 82 millimeter mortars. Okay. An 82 millimeter mortar is a big motherfucker. This is a, I don't know.

It's like this 82 millimeters, but I don't know. Like, can you break a tank with it? Oh, well, it's not made for that. It's,

it's, it's like a, it's a mortar round, you know, when they drop it in the tube with foam, it's like the biggest one of those. But it's holding six of them. This thing looked like it could carry a goat

into the ass. It's not like... It's like... Oh, like a helicopter kind of? No, it's a quad rotor, but it's a huge one. I mean, a man can carry it, but just barely. It used to be a strapping man. And then the kid operating it's a huge one that i mean a man can carry it but just barely like when he gets to be a strapping

man and then and then the kid operating it's got the full like vr goggles on and he's just oh my god that thing's gonna wreak such havoc but i've noticed that the the standard ones that drop the vog 17 grenades that those of us who play tarkov or who are spetsnaz would be familiar with they're doubling up on them like Clearly somebody was, either they said, hey, these grenades are piling up around here. Don't drop one at a time. Double them up. Or they were like, clearly one

grenade's not doing it. Let's go to two at a time. Two at a time every time. You see that in every video now. It's two grenades bundled together getting dropped right on top of these poor Russians. I say poor because it's pitiful. They together getting dropped right on top of these poor russians i say poor because i mean it's pitiful like they don't they don't have a chance drone operators are getting more talented over the course of you know my watching it that or they're just editing you

know they're practicing like like dropping soda bottles like they're doing you know i would love if they had tiktoks where they tried to drop bottles on their tops. I wonder if... What's the hard part of drone bombing Russians? Is it finding them? I mean, the videos make it seem... It seems like the hard part based on the videos would be not getting bored. Because it doesn't seem like it's... If we did this with deer, we'd say it wasn't very sporting.

It doesn't look hard to me. And the reason I say it doesn't look hard at all to hit them is because you gotta give the Russians a head start. You go, woo! You let them get running. You give them 45 seconds. That's how war's done, boy. Sometimes they see it

coming and they're shooting at them and it doesn't matter um but but i don't think it's very hard to like do what they're doing because the trajectories always look about right from the camera's point of view you're like yeah that's about where i'd press drop you know it's it's not like they press drop and you're like how's that ever gonna oh the wind it's not like you ever see like a golf putt where you're like wait a minute and then it like does a whole bunch of nonsense that tiger could just see you're never gonna see a three-point miss right here compilation like you know what i mean like oh yeah i was gonna say that right like this is like They take the good ones. Mark of Jay didn't really get 120 kills every game,

but it seems like it. The people who are uploading videos of them fucking up, that's not going viral, because there's a million of them hitting it on the nail on the head, right? I think they would. Here's the video I honestly want to see. I want to see a dud drop and the Russians all run from it and it be a little funny funny and then that's just it

I've seen too many people and they play the Benny Hill music on it and the Russians are like playing hot potato with it it looks so effective I wonder why there's not more of it is it they only have so many drones

they only have so many bugs they only have so many bugs like why is it there are a sea of drones just constantly harassing the russians it seems like there are maybe there's not enough drones i don't know i don't maybe there's not enough like targets within drone range i'm always curious about that so many videos it's see we're only seeing this really skewed point of view so so we have no idea. Here's what I want to know. Hey, the guy who's operating that drone, where does he live? Where does he sleep at night?

Where did he launch that from? How did he coordinate that? How many other groups are coordinated with him? Is there artillery teams that know he's in the area? Do the other drone teams in the entire region know about him? Are we all linked up on some sort of CIA fucking pegboard like it's Battleship? And we're like, yes, the Ruskies are here sir in segment and sector 3A and then we swarm them with coordinated attacks where we're all on our headsets like

me and my boys play games is it like that or is it like Igor found some grenades you know what they should do for the drones is for like the five seconds after it drops there should be a speaker that's allowed to play so you can kind of like Tarkov you can talk shit

in the war I want the was it called death chat where right after you killed him in modern warfare you could hear them complain I want that I wish the dead could talk for a few seconds yeah yeah

just for a second I want to hear how mad they are they'd say like could talk for a few seconds. Yeah, yeah. Just for a second. I want to hear how mad they are. They'd say like, That was bullshit, dude. That's what I was going to say. It hurts so much! Why can I still feel it? There is only hell!

Ah! Just like the end of Event Horizon. All is a phantom but pain and then they were the the like the end of event horizon how they had like opened that hell dimension and they're just all getting cornholed with like big drill bits with their eyes gouged out and shit yeah they're like homer when they homer gets fed donuts and so he doesn't want donuts anymore except they can't that's the joke because they can't get homer gets fed donuts and so he doesn't want donuts anymore except they can't

that's the joke because they can't get homer to oh that's yeah i remember that you see how much you want donuts when you've eaten one million of them and then he's just he's like more please i like the chili pep the the chili uh cook chili cook off when when some is it Flanders chili that defeats him initially? Flanders is the one who Homer's like three alarm chili and he eats it. And he's like, it's two alarm tops. And I was like, oh, boys, he's right. It's not three alarm. It's two and a half tops. And he's talking and pissing about it.

Yeah. It's Chief Wiggum's chili. Chief Wiggum's. With the finest peppers from south of the border. No, no, no, no, no. It was more diabolical than that. He was like, it's the black death pepper from Guatemala. And then, like, when he put it in, it, like, turned to ash.

It, like, made the whole chili turn black or some shit. And Homer, like, it burns Homer's ass up made the whole chili turn black or some shit. And Homer, it burns Homer's ass up, so he feels defeated. And he comes back. He decides to coat his entire mouth and digestive system, upper digestive system, with wax. So he takes a big candle and gargles it and

then swallows and it coats his lips, tongue, inside of him. And he goes back and just in Chief Wiggum's face just kills all that chili all that death chili and like everybody's mind is fucking blown and then he has like an ls but he's covered in wax and he goes don't quit your j job like the animation completely shifts like 10 seconds later. And he's in the desert with coyotes and the moon.

And everything's melting in front of him. It's one of my favorite episodes, I think. I like that. It's the Johnny Cash episode. One of their best cameos ever. Did not know that. Yeah, the voice of that coyote is Johnny Cash. That's really cool.

See, I didn't watch the show ever as an adult, really. I stopped watching Simpsons when I was about 18 or 19, when I started working and moved out. If you plow back into season five, if you watched Mr. Plow, you'd get a laugh out of it, that kind of shit. The Cape Fear one, that's tremendous. The old seasons are so funny.

That's Emmy award-winning Simpsons when you go back to the cape fear shit you know i've never seen the movie cape fear i know like i know what it's about i can't believe i have one over on you i know what it's about i know the premise it's you know robin nero wants to horn in on the guy's daughter and then he's like hulking and scary somehow deniro and like the whole boat fight scene and everything uh but i've never seen it yeah but it's very very good like it's one of my favorite performances i i thought taxi driver was really really good i did enjoy it but i think cape fear was better like it was i've never seen raging bull either i haven't seen that either you know that

scorsese made that and it's de niro and uh pesci and maybe some other people but they don't come to mind it's the it's the boxing movie where it's a lot a good bit of it's in black and white maybe all of it is i'm not sure again i've never seen it there's a bunch of those why did robert de niro just decide to stop being good at making movies somewhere around here he's like he's like 85 like that's why he got that meet the parents money and he was like fuck it i can phone it in like this that's all i gotta do yeah and like everything after that has just been just i made i made heat i'm fine i'm taking care of it is so good you know i can't remember, like, special forces group or law enforcement agency uses it, but they use that footage of Val Kilmer tactically reloading.

Yeah, because he does it so clean, so perfectly, the way he's checking for, like, enemies and the way he's, like, staying in hardcover. Like, everything about what he's doing, apparently, is perfect. And they talk about how much that Val Kilmer, like, trained for that and like practiced that and it's it's a great movie he does the best bank robber movie of all time 100 yeah absolutely i i love i love his uh react to contact that he has when he's walking out of

the bank and he's just smiling at his buddies and the the millisecond he sees a cop just drops the smile gun comes up it's so good yeah yeah yeah it's it's a great movie um what's your uh what's your what's your favorite western movie i ask everyone this i like to know because i know what they are i know the right answer i know the right well i haven't seen one i haven't seen the dirty dozen or the Good and Bad and the Ugly or all the other westerns. Let me see if I have the name right. Probably Tombstone. Tombstone's

top three. Just because no character I've ever liked. You know how guys make jokes about Ryan Gosling and stuff like literally me? I remember being seven years old and watching Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday and being like, that's me. Literally me. Yeah, that's me.

Me and that guy, two peas in a pod. Yeah, I'm just like him for real. Tombstone is number three, I think, on my list. All time best Westerns. Number two is the I go back and forth, but it's either the Unforgiven or Lonesome Dove for the top two. Lonesome Dove kind of skirts in there because it was like a TV miniseries, and it's like four and a half hours long, but

those are the best westerns of all time, in my opinion. The Unforgiven is something that Clint Eastwood bought as a younger man and waited until he was old enough to play that character, and it's so good. God, I can quote like half that fucking movie. Unforgiven is what I was going to say, but to be honest,

Unforgiven and Tombstone, it's hard say, but to be honest, Unforgiven and Tombstone, it's hard for me to pick. I've only seen it once, but I remember really liking True Grit. True Grit's the new one or the older one? The new one is really good. The new one's a good film.

It's so rarely to remakes and reimagines or whatever, especially when it's 30, 40 years removed are they any good that like that robocop's a perfect example of just like what the fuck did you do like you missed the whole point of robocop total recall is the same shit but when they remade total um uh true grit um the recasting was excellent you got matt damon and um watch his fucking name where i can't hear understand uh it's uh it's it's jeff dane bridges bridges yeah jeff bridges plays um um rooster cogburn the one-eyed bounty hunter who

shoots first and ask questions later and a little girl comes to him says my father's been murdered by outlaws and i hear that you're a man of true grit, and I'm going to pay you to help me take these men down. And Matt Damon pals along too, and so the three of them are this really motley crew who are traveling in search of a band of outlaws together. And Matt Damon and Rooster Cogburn are pissing contests the whole way through, throwing biscuits in the air and shooting them with their pistols.

It's fun. You need captions because Jeff Bridges decides that he's going to be absolutely imprehensible. Tater's easier to understand. Is No Country for Old Men a Western?

It's a Neo-Western. It's a Neo-Western. I like that one a lot it is but i don't like to admit it is i just i put coen brother films on their own like over here brother true grits of coen brother film the new one is yeah you know what a remake is better than the original i know kyle's gonna agree with me judge dread oh of course of course well yeah i have this personality flaw where when someone says like a remake is never better than the original or he said it was so rare so he starts scouring for like except oh no that's a good one um there's a there's a really good like

reimagining that bruce willis did of the classic clint eastwood movie where called uh where he uh kind of goes into a town and plays the two gangs running a town. He goes in and plays them against each other. It's a Clint Eastwood movie where he does this. Bruce Willis remade it. Made it his own thing. It's called...

What the fuck is it called? Bruce Willis Western? Yeah, kind of. It's in like the night it's like in like the early 1900s so he has 1911 pistols it's not called last man standing but it's called last man standing it's called last man standing and it's uh i think it's good but it's one of those movies that i watched a ton as a kid and so maybe that's why i like it but yeah he he like rolls into town in his in his car and uh basically starts playing

the two gangs against one another and like killing the shit out of anybody that messes with him and um at one point he takes this absurd beating because they're trying to beat information out of him but he won't give it up and he like has to like crawl away and get his pistols and then like come back for revenge like it's it's a pretty good movie. I don't know if it's good because I haven't seen it since I became a man grown, but I really like it. My memory of it is good. Wild Wild West.

With most of it. Number one. Way, way down here. Really? I was going to say top three. All time. The giant spider really elevates that film that was a good one you know it's funny that's what elevates the film which is i i heard that that script had been floating around for a while and apparently there were some producers who had a giant spider

written for some sci-fi movie years back and and whenever this movie came up, they were like, there's been this giant spider idea floating around, we'll put it in the western. It was his thing. Well, this didn't pan out in Eight-Legged Freaks, but it's going to be here in Wild Wild West. Who was that?

Maybe tell the story. It was Will Smith and that white man. But who's the Spanish girl that's with them that's like crazy attractive? I have not seen that movie since I was a kid. I don't remember any of it. At one point, she's wearing those old-timey underwear that have the button-up ass square,

but she hasn't buttoned it, and they don't tell her, and it's great. She has just a tremendous ass hanging out of the back of the old-timey underwear, and they're just trying to play it cool. What movie is this? Wild Wild West. I don't remember that scene, but now I do.

Maybe it is pretty good. You get to see Selma Hayek's ass? Yes. I've got... What's that one again? I've got pictures of it. Will Smith turned down The Matrix for that film. Will Smith was supposed to play Neo and he's like, nah, I've got this other project.

Wild Wild West. Thank God he didn't play Neo. I know, right? He would have been not good. They wanted Will Smith to play Neo. Just a fundamentally different film at that point. I don't even remember. I only remember liking the first matrix i don't have really many memories of watching the second or third which means that as i watched them i must have thought they were shit i watched them and at the time i convinced

myself they were good because i was such a big fan of the first one and i saw them all in theaters uh and i was just i remember sitting there like blown away at the time by the big fan of the first one. And I saw them all in theaters. And I was just, I remember sitting there like blown away at the time by the CGI of the second one. And I look at it now and it looks like shit. But at the time, when he's fighting that infinite group of agent Smiths in the basketball court, it looks bad. But back then in the theater,

I specifically remember being like, wow, holy shit. How many of them are they? You know, it looked cool because he's doing a hundred. You know, he's completely digital at this point. So he's basically a cartoon character. It looks really bad. It looks bad.

But in the third one, you know, you had those albino twins with the dreadlocks. They looked cool. They looked cool. And that's when you got to see Morpheus But in the third one, you had those albino twins with the dreadlocks. They looked cool. They looked cool. And that's when you got to see Morpheus come back with the samurai sword and the Glock 18s. And he's got a great scene where he cuts an Escalade in half

and then blows it up with the Glock 18. That Escalade and the CTR, whatever the Cadillac car, those weren't on the market yet those were like two years from production like they were still almost concept shit and they threw them in the movie the same thing with that fucking cell phone back then before like i don't know the iphone and just being a square piece of glass took over i wanted that cell phone so bad that matrix cell phone i wanted that thing they're expensive they looked cool at the time and now do you ever see people with flip phones now at this point it's like what are you doing

like what what are you what are you trying to prove sir it's a burner oh someone doesn't need maps bragging about you have a good sense of direction fuck you that's what i really think when i see people i don't need phones i'm like wow so someone doesn't get lost. You have a good sense of direction. Fuck you. That's what I really think when I see people with flip phones. I'm like, wow, so someone doesn't get lost all the time. Fine. I don't need the traditional clamshell. Have you seen the new ones that are just like a screen? They're essentially your folding screen. Folded in

fucking half. It seems like something I don't need and it just adds another failure point. I'm going to use my computer or my laptop. Dude, they put that thing in a machine. I've watched it. They put it in that machine and bent it over and over 10 million times or something. I don't want that one. I want the one that hasn't been bent

10 million times. You've all been bent. I like it, but it doesn't seem like it's worth the extra money because the main thing that I like about my phone is it does the same thing. Imagine if you bought a grill and they're like, trust us, at the factory someone used this to cook thousands of meals.

You'd be like, fuck you! Give me a new grill! Not your phone! They don't bid your phone. They bid a phone to make sure that your phone could be bid without anything going awry. They don't bid them all! We are losing so much money on this

10 million pound pro-phone penalty. These are awful. Why can't we just rye about it? Don't rye about it. You're a ryer. I'll be a ryer.

This manufacturing philosophy will not work for condoms. It comes with spunk in it. What the fuck? I came in it 10 times. And it mostly worked. I wanted to ask you, Wendigoon, what, to get very serious, not really,

but what is, because I know you're you're a christian what is the point of like the christian sex where you're like i think i have more not in common with you than in common with you like because like like most like christians i've talked to about like mormons will say like they've got the gist of it, but they are way out of line on a lot of fucking shit. But you know, they kind of got the core a bit right. Other than the whole like other Testament thing.

Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, as far as Mormons go, I'm pretty absolutely removed from them. Uh, everyone that I've talked to, I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about uh it's like what did you just make that part up

which they're like yeah yeah pretty much yeah that's the vibe um but yeah the uh them definitely far removed from things like jehovah witnesses all that, anything that involves new revelations. So like, you know, you had the Bible, you had like, which the New Testament, which is the most recent part of the Bible, is entirely written by people who were alive and either were with Christ or were friends with the disciples

who like wrote letters to them or whatever. So that's like Jesus. And then if any religion is like yeah and then 800 years later there was a second part that's where i'm like no no i don't play ball with that uh because at that point they're just adding stuff for their own you know whatever objective they want to get across are you searching david smith uh yes i am a little yes good because that was the greatest con man this side of the mississippi this side both sides of the mississippi because he got booted to the other side

fucking shit but him uh i don't i'm not catholic catholics are closer because you know they still believe in christ and all that not a fan of like the church as an office or you know the the pope or the orders of the priest and all that uh but if it like if you believe in christ then you know we've got something to talk about but there's a lot of people who they they had a lot of asterisks to that term a lot of new ideas like like i know most of my family's catholic but like the whole praying, like to, to like, including Mary in your prayers was always to me, like, what are, what are we doing here? Like, there's no part in the new Testament that says to include Mary. It seems like this is a bunch of pomp and circumstance that they included kind of like the Pharisees and Sadducees back in the day to keep people kind of constricted based on ritual than by based on and by social constraints than by anything else.

Like the same way confession, like if you've seen the bullshit people say now about like confession, actually, like the reason it's a thing is because like the priest is meant to be like someone who helps you through problems. And it's like, no, that was not the impetus of confession. The impetus of confession was a way to goad an entire community into spilling secrets to a central position that then could use that information to control. Like, like, no, literally in the fucking Bible, Jesus says, what did Jesus say? Did he say that when you pray, go into public loudly and raise your arms? No, Jesus said, when you pray, do not go into public and raise your arms and scream as the Pharisees and Sadducees do.

Instead, go into your room in private. Just you and the Lord. Isn't that what Jesus said? I was under the impression that that was kind of spelled out in the middle of John, but I guess not. Or no, Luke. Like, it's I really that always fucking turned me the wrong way about Catholicism is like it takes all of what Jesus came back to do, which is fulfilling the covenant and making it so that the separation of fabrics and the not eating of pork, the shellfish, all this stuff was fulfilled.

It's not to be followed anymore. And to tack on an additional layer of like, oh, now you have to worry about paying money to get out of to get your relatives out of purgatory. get out of uh to get your relatives out of purgatory like that's that's a despicable perversion of if you believe in christ and and you believe that's what he came to do that doesn't really gel and i'm not even a religious person really wow that was cool taylor sunday school taylor popped out there that was nice i like that i want some consistency there and i don't i don't like and the catholics i know are good people the vast majority of them are christmas and easter catholics who don't care about it who don't do people don't know this most catholics don't do confession like they they don't go and do that shit of course not you know but like yeah the whole impetus of it is like gross it was a way

to get dirt on people who trusted you and then use it to for material gain fucked up is that true i get all my information from the passion of the Christ. Yeah, it is 100% true. Mel Gibson will set you straight. Mel Gibson, he knows. Mel Gibson, I just rewatched Braveheart the other night. Like an absolute retard. Love ya.

Love ya. I fucking started the movie at like 11 20 at night and then like I got into it and I just couldn't stop because it's so good man that is one of those movies that like you almost don't remember it as good as it was until you go back and watch because it's not just the cool story and everything and like the good acting from mel and everybody else and there's there's it's funny like after watching game of thrones and these other fantasy like series you can like see a lot of those guys

back then too who kind of played those like gruff you know scottish characters or whatever and then and then but we're like oh that guy was you know three of those guys are in the night's watch neat like cool that one guy with a scar on his face is in everything he's good i like him but that movie is so so tremendous i love that what i don't like that apocalypto those are probably his most famous movies right well mad max that that's big i mean for for me it's always been lethal weapon but the one that slides under the radar is payback do you know about payback mel gibson's payback this is lucy lu's debut she is prime lucy lu and she plays a dominatrix in this so she's all up in like she's like a gangster dominatrix she's all up in like, she's like a gangster dominatrix.

She's all up in like leather and like thongs and stuff. And there's this great scene where she's about to get into a gunfight. And she's like, hubba hubba hubba. And then just like land this crazy gunfight. The premise is this. Mel Gibson was cheated of his money and left for dead by his ex business partner.

And like this, this, like this heist they were a part of and his wife, fiance, girlfriend was on the other guy's side. She was a traitor

in this situation. He got screwed out of obviously his end of the money they were going to make or whatever, but I think he also goes to prison for a long time, like several years. Well well he's out and he's looking for payback so he's going up the ladder you know trying to get his 5700 or something like that and people be like 5700 my fucking luggage costs more than that you're in my house over 5700 fucking dollars i want my money i want my 5700 not more not less and and and there's a scene where he's being

tortured they're like they're smashing his toes with a hammer and the guy goes starting to look like roast beef and mel's like all right all right i'll tell you i'll tell you and he finally tells them what they want to know and it's this whole other plot it's great it's a fun movie um there's lots of revenge it's kind of fantastical a little bit like it's a little bit sillier than our reality but not so much so that it doesn't take itself seriously. It's just a little sillier. The fact that Lucy Liu is a dominatrix and all that, that's kind of ridiculous. He's just going through these gangsters. He's the scariest, smartest guy in every situation, pretty much. He runs a big, scary bouncer,

and his move is to rip the guy's jewelry out of his face right away. I can't remember if it was his nose ring or what, the guy's jewelry out of his face right away. And then he's got the guy. I can't remember if it's his nose ring or what, but he's like dragging him into his boss's office by the nose ring. And then he rips it out anyway. Like he's just a son of a bitch. And every step of the way. And it's over like a small, petty amount of money. Payback.

Being led around by your nose. You have to feel like a real retard being led around by a nose ring that you like went to the store to have put in your like maybe people like don't know this about like why nose rings are in like bowls like it's to control them like if you if you grab onto a nose ring of a bowl like it's going to do everything yeah it's going to do everything you say um frenulum yeah you say dude if you put a ring in its fucking frenulum you're gonna that's actually called a prince albert i'm a little more progressive i put a jacob's ladder on my on the top of my philtrum frenulum.

Viltrum frenulum. Don't get that mixed up. It's easy to transpose. You don't want to do that. Sometimes people make that mistake recently. Some people do it on purpose to try to upset us. Is it me you're trying to upset? Oh, it's anyone listening who has an issue with it. That's not it! I'm going to tell people!

Oh, God. leave a comment yeah people who get like upset like listening to just totally bad information and not able to contribute like some people have to listen to our show and be like no that's not how fuck man that's not how any of this works and then we're all three like yeah that's mary is the blessed how dare you i will get someone i guarantee i will get multiple people being like hey you misunderstood this this and this about catholicism and that's entirely possible i'm not catholic but i think i think i'm right about a couple of those core things frankly and i will debate the Pope about it. Put me in the ring with the Pope.

I will dominate the Pope. I went to Sunday school. I know what questions he'll ask. Your conjurations can't save you here, magician. You can't be saved with your machinations from the deep, from the spirit realm. The fact that I've never seen the Pope cast a spell or do anything even vaguely magical really casts... Wait, does he claim to be magical? Yeah.

He communes directly with God Almighty. I know that. He does claim that at times. Actually, not every pope claims that, I think. Pussies? I know less than anybody. If they're not even claiming that anymore, what are we doing here? Aren't I right?

Not every pope claims that. The funniest one was during COVID, whenever the pope tweeted or put out an announcement that was like during covid you don't have to go to a church for confession you can just confess your sins directly to god and everyone's like no we're going to call this hundreds of years of war over this yeah there were centuries of death and destruction martin luther is spinning in his grave right now yeah we need to find him and we can solve our power problems. Show him that tweet. I hate the whole idea of the Pope and his cadre of wizards.

The whole thing is so absurd. The fact that they still dress like that, it's like, why haven't we stopped and said anything? I'm on the other side. If everyone could dress like that in the big flowy gowns, I could quit my diet. The hat, Woody. Look at the hat. He has a staff.

Draco Malfoy's dad wasn't as over the top as the Pope is. The hat? Oh, my God. No more height envy. The cloak? Who needs a sick pack when you dress like a ghost? I'm so... I cannot believe how much I'm on your side with this.

You're attacking the absolute coolest part of Catholicism, which is the Vatican, the outfits, the pomp and circumstance. Like the whole discolor smoke goes out of the pillars, create white smoke or black smoke. And then when it turns white, we've picked a new pope. That kind of stuff is fun. It's Game of Thrones-y, man. Do you know what they do to make sure the pope is dead? Fucking poke him? I don't know.

I can't remember exactly which kind of like shit. You loudly say, hmm, naked boys? naked boys? And then when he doesn't, when you don't notice a very expensive tent of Egyptian cotton forming, you know that he's finally passed. I hope it's something really ordinary like a sternum rub.

I'm going to get comments about this. I didn't say that. It was me. But he told me to say it. No, no, no. I communicate directly with God. He told me to say no no i communicate directly with god he told me yeah yeah i think i think they stab him um or something like that i watched a youtube video the other day maybe they don't do it as much but they did something silly they like whacked him on the head with a coconut or something oh that reminds me um oh i've read about this whole

thing today i want to get the terminology right but i'm not gonna it's what it is it's these it's the religion that props up in um some of those some uncontacted tribes um where they i'm gonna break it down as well as i can from memory so the deal is that within these like uncontacted tribes they have this sort of pecking order amongst the men who are sort of you know the ruling class anyway we're like we give each other gifts and but the thing is we all kind of come from the same place the same village so nobody's ever going to like like ruin the gift giving by having like an ipod you know what i mean like i'm going to give you my extra coconuts and you're gonna give me like your all the berries that you found yesterday and so in that way i'll never be what they call like a dirty man or

something like that which is someone who is indebted very much more and this gift giving tradition they have where like you should like the head guy there is the guy who's giving everybody a gift everybody owes him because he's given everybody one more gift than they've given him, essentially. What they would do, they would meet these guys on boats. They would show up with shit from a factory

in England or America. They'd be like, hey, what do you want? 50 of these dolls? It just ruins their sense of worthiness and so they start viewing not the white men um as their god who have this overabundance of like factory produced goods that they can't even fathom they believe that there's a religion of cargo drops where like god drops cargo and gives it to people and through either, because either they were bad

or because God, like there was an accident, these men have been gifted more. So we need to pray to the God that we'll get our cargo shipment from the sky of like earthly goods so that we can no longer be dirty men who are indebted to those Frenchmen

who came the other day and like gave us all a basket of fruit to eat. The Lord has blessed us with sour cream and onion chips. Did you even imagine there could be a flavor more than original? I had my mind blown by original for weeks, and then they come and the Lord is great. The Lord is a wonderful God for giving us. Have you ever heard of Cape Cod chips?

These are the finest chips I have ever had. Hot and vinegar. They are a flavor you would not anticipate being as tasteful as it is. Have you ever had starry soda? It is not good. That's the original potato chip flavor, you know. Not salt, but salt and vinegar. I didn't know that.

I didn't either. I just kind of made it up. You got me this time. God damn it, dude. Did he have you, Taylor, or was it just me? No, he got me on that one. Because it's preservatives. Yeah.

Had to keep those potatoes fresh. It did make sense to me. It still makes sense. It might be true. Damn it, you got me on that one. I was about to ask a follow up. That sounds like an 1800 snack. It's like,

well, we'll just dry it out, then dip it in vinegar and put some salt on it, and there you go. I probably guessed right. We've had a long afternoon of being racist. Time for a snack. We've had a long afternoon of being racist. Why aren't more things salt and vinegar flavored? Like, I would like salt and vinegar flavored,

like baked potato. I guess I'd say put some vinegar on my baked potato. Put some salt on it, yeah. You think that would do the trick? You can put salt and vinegar on anything. It's not illegal. They can't stop you.

You can get the powder you need. Salt and vinegar is a real thing. It's like the Dorito nacho cheese powder. You get salt and vinegar is a real thing. It's like the Dorito nacho cheese powder. You get salt and vinegar powder and put it on something. I hear you with the vinegar. What if you put pickle juice on more things? There you go. That's just

vinegar. Well, it's better than vinegar. It's pickle juice. Pickle-y vinegar. Brine. They make those. They make dill pickle potato chips. They're pretty good. Yeah, but I'm thinking baked potatoes, sandwiches. Yeah, I mean, you can just buy a big jar of juice like I'm sure you have in your refrigerator

that I know your wife does this to all of your sandwiches with. God knows what's growing in that jar. You know what's happening? The chips, yeah. I have the same thing for lunch. Like, must be 360 days a year. I have the same thing for lunch like must be 360 days a year i have the same thing for lunch and uh it's that like grilled chicken little flatbread thing huh yeah it's this

lavish recipe we got on youtube for grilled chicken thing and she's replaced the pickles with relish and oh my god what an upgrade first of all it's like basically bread and butter pickles but also the little relish juice spreads all over the place. Everybody's a delight. Do you revolutionize the chicken lavish game? What I really, I like pickles as well, but if I'm having like a sandwich instead of like, I get a deli instead of like pickles on the sandwich,

I really enjoy the whole spear that I get on the side and i can like punctuate the bites i want with the the pickle i like that very much are you a solid a pickle stick guy i'm a big pickle stick i i used it's a spear first of all and uh well i guess i guess i'm not that big of a pickle stick pickle stick what the fuck They call them... That's what a caveman would call a pickle if he was learning English very fast. And we were all scientists were like, that's amazing, it's been a week. I have pickle stick.

You can't know what a pickle spear is. Look at him. He's a fucking caveman. Pickle spears are the way to go. What if instead of slicing the pickle into spears, you just sort of licked the outside of the entire pickle?

You could put it in your mouth and put it on it like a popsicle. I'm a texture guy. I need the crunch. I understand you're a vinegar guy. I think that would get you kicked out of Panera. It would. If you make eye contact

to the cashier and throat but you're not good at it and you're going You're going to ask to leave. You know what they'll say? They'll say, sir, we're going to call the police if you try this again. And I'll say, you don't know who I am and I'm wearing a clown wig and sunglasses because I do it because I do it every day.

It's like, sir, you pay by card every day i don't do dill pickles taylor we have your name okay we thought you'd be a girl well this is very confusing for me just change them up i have to go to the bathroom and I just come out with an extra ring on as a different guy. I like those wickles. What's a wickle? A wickle?

It's a pickle they charge you $6 a jar for. They're like sweet and spicy pickles. That sounds like a slur it's a wickle it does yeah you wickles get out my windows open get your wickle ass out of here google it to see if this is a real thing tie your shoes that's all yeah tie your shoestrings you dirty wickles this is one of the oldest that's the thing companies that walk around with their sneakers on todd dude started he can't get me twice in two minutes. Started in 1906 by Jeremiah Wickle.

Wickle's Pickles is the pride of the South and your pantry. Jeremiah Wickle. It's the pickle of almost 100 years in the making. That's one of those names. Like you were saying earlier, like Jebediah, Barzal, whatever. What was it? Jeremiah Wickle. No way. You're right. I did make that up. Barzal, whatever. What was it? Jeremiah Wickle.

You're right. I did make that up. There is not a Jeremiah Wickle from Wickle's Pickles. But the rest of what I read is true. This podcast is full of lies and misinformation. I'll say this. If you want some tasty pickles, the Wickles are the way to go. And if you like mayonnaise pickles, the wickles are the way to go.

And if you like mayonnaise, then Duke's mayonnaise is the way to go. I have very strong opinions about a lot of things and those two things are just true. Anyone who eats anything else is just wrong. Wait, what was that second part? Duke's mayonnaise. I don't eat white condiments. First of all, I don't eat much mayonnaise.

I'm pretty progressive. However, if I had my way, I could eat it by the spoonful. I fucking love mayonnaise. I could dip french fries in it and be happy. Like on my grilled cheese, I want mayonnaise inside and out that motherfucker. I want it on the outside because it browns it up.

I want it on the inside because that's how mama makes them. They're fucking delicious. Oh. It's not, though. She'd be mad if I described her sandwiches that way that's why i do yeah she put mayonnaise in them because she what's your what's your if you're getting a burger though what's your burger toppings wendigan if we're talking like cheeseburger cheeseburger cheese goes that's it there's cheese already i don't like lettuce on burgers it just

kills the flavor for me damn strike one uh one. Yeah, I like onions, pickles, and pretty much all the sauces. Like, you know, throw the mayo, mustard, ketchup, all that. I'm here for it. Like, there's specialty burgers, of course. Like, if you're throwing bacon on it, it's a whole different vibe. But, like, for a normal cheeseburger, absolutely. Okay. Leather it up.

That's solid. No lettuce, though. Every time I put – well, that's what the pickles and onions do. I feel like every time I eat a burger with lettuce on it, it's like, well, that flavor was good for a second, but now there's like celery in the way. Yeah. Well, you need good toppings. The difference between a really good tomato and a shitty tomato is immense. a really good tomato and a shitty tomato is

immense. If you get a Burger King tier tomato, it may as well not be on there because there's no flavor. There's no crisp. It's just a wet wedge that doesn't add anything. But you go to a nice restaurant, you get a nice, thick, crisp flavorful tomato.

You're like, this is... I forgot tomatoes could be this flavorful. It's meaty almost. You're so right. Why is a beef tomatoes could be this flavorful oh it's meaty almost you're so right why do they breed tomatoes to be flavorless and that's what all you get in the winter what what is happening there and don't they realize their mistake they're huge it's a huge mistake and you're right about the winter thing like you get a burger you may as well say no tomato most places in winter because it's going to be a flavorless disc of water when i make my own when i make my own i put tomatoes on them, and I

go through a whole process where I carefully slice the tomatoes with an exceptionally sharp knife so I don't rupture the cell structure, and then I salt and pepper them, and I put them on paper towels to let them drain all their juices out, and I flip them and rotate them two or three times until they're... And then I put them on the burger

so they don't get all... I'm making the best burger I can make that's how I cook that sounds delicious you get that and then as far as condiments I never stray too far from some kind of mustard

it could be brown and spicy or it could be yellow and cheap or it could be some sort of Dijon shit but I'm mixing that with mayonnaise and that's the sauce that's what's going on there um if i have that really expensive um lettuce that you can buy that's like this little miniature head of lettuce that's like you crack it open it's like oh a little baby lettuce head just for me you literally go like and you get this these perfect little like like leaves and it's just like if I'll do that but any sort of standard shredded lettuce

fuck that, it's just garbage shredded, you can fucking, I'd rather be killed okay, let's calm down I like Big Mac sauce if I had that, I would put that on a burger because something about that white trash Thousand Island Big Mac sauce just gets

my goat, like that shit a lot but otherwise, I don't put that on a burger because something about that white trash Thousand Island Big Mac sauce just gets my goat. I like that shit a lot. But otherwise, I don't put onions on burgers. I think raw onions are gross. My breath and tongue taste like onion all day. I have to brush my teeth after I eat onion like that. Are you putting too much on there? Maybe?

A bite of onion is too much. A bite. I like that raw. I mean, I like cooked onions on my burger, too, but I like the raw, the sharpness of it. I do raw onions on hot dogs. I do raw onions on... I'll eat any kind of raw onion anywhere. Yeah. Have you ever taken a bite out

of an onion? No, I haven't, but my brother used to... That would be a fun punishment for a pet. No, he would do that. He would do it. He liked it. He loved onions so much that he would go into the fridge and take a bite of an onion like an apple this is the same brother that would take bites of butter out of the fridge sometimes holy shit now green onions and he's never had a weight problem he fucking pisses me off well not when you're eating onions you're filling up a whole

we gotta figure it out i'm so hungry right now that's why i brought up the cheeseburger conversation because i'm thinking about it nothing but onions are you still on a cut i am i'm doing good yeah i'm doing pretty solid with with eating well and keeping the the late night binge eating to a minimum because that's where like that's where i realized i fucked myself up so many times is like i'll go on a good streak and it'll be like i haven't like had a big eating feast late at night for like two weeks and then you do it and you like do the math the next day and it's like oh no like that was thousands of calories that i'm gonna do this week i undid so much time i still have the turkey i bought two turkeys at thanksgiving i'm gonna do this week i undid so much time i still have the turkey i bought two turkeys at

thanksgiving i'm gonna cook the other one this week um fried i'm fried is so many calories like like i was thinking about baking it i've never baked turkey and so there's no like for sure and i've had a couple of bad outings recently with my cooking it's like well that was ruined what hasn't gone well um i cooked some steaks the other day and uh i wasn't there when they got vacuum sealed and somebody used my old vacuum sealer that i not my new fancy expensive one and so if you don't vacuum seal the steaks just right when you sous vide them they sort of like simmer and like watery juices and turn in they get gross um so thatboiled egg with a crack shell.

Yeah. I usually get filet mignon. I just messed up $40 worth of steaks. That's lame. Dogs are happy. Yes, they were so happy. That's why I had to get up earlier. I was gone for a long time there.

I went to take the dogs out. The old one got lost in the fucking yard. It's like around the front of the house just barking into the night scared and lost. She's like 17 and losing her little mind. It's raining so much that they don't want to go out because the whole yard is

a goddamn lake. There's standing water out in the entire yard. It's been raining here for months every day every day in a valley no i'm in atlanta every day it rains atlantis every day it never dries up like my like my yard hasn't been anything other than like muddy in months like like there hasn't been if you went outside and kicked the ground, dust wouldn't come up. It would be mud. You'd make a muddy footprint.

It's been that way for months. That sucks. It's so fucking gross. It's just wet and dirty. All the dogs are coming in with shit all over their paws every time. Every one of them, I go through so many paper towels because I'm getting his paws and squeezing them individually with the paper towels and shamming his whole furry body down to like get the rainwater off of him.

So every time one comes in, it's like I'm detailing a car and fast forward, like getting him ready to go, like getting his little jowl because he's got this crazy mustache. Dude, I got to take another picture of him. I figured out who he looks like because I gave Rocky or Toby. Toby, the Bernie doodle, the new puppy. He looks like because I gave Rocky or Toby Toby the the Bernie Doodle the new puppy he looks like Ron fucking Perlman dude he looks just like Ron Perlman because like he couldn't see very well his fur was like just all he's got he's so fuzzy that his eyes were getting encroached upon so I got him in a fucking headlock the other day and I got the trimmers out and I like like cut him out some eye holes and like i got all the fuzzy stuff like on the bridge

of his nose so he can like see y'all what's going on he's got peripheral now and now he looks right at you like a person like like like he won't just glance at you like you'll be like watching tv on your phone and you'll and you're like locked eyes with him across the room. He's looking you in the face. He's got eyelashes. He's got what do you call the white part of your eyes? The iris. They're very prominent.

They're very prominent with this dog. When he looks around, I can tell what he's looking at. I sent you guys that video of him watching The Wolf the other day. He's sitting there watching TV for an hour at a fucking time, looking at wolves and dingoes and coyotes and shit, and he's not getting all crazy. He's just like, yeah, motherfucker, all right.

Yeah, you run that shit, huh? I can be like that. All right, I see how you do it. And he's just watching and learning. But then I started watching The Wire, and I looked over, and he's watching them stomp the shit out of that black guy. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Those are our friends.

God, I got to close our window. You're going to walk in the room one day and he's going to have a back the blue bandana on. Can't have that. Thick blue line,yle no shut up rocky fucking narc get out of here no he's um he's getting tremendously big i gotta find a groomer for him um and i gotta get him fixed he's got balls how old is he uh i think six months now almost exactly six months is that when you get that's about the

time well it depends on the breed uh because they the ruling is like for like miniature dogs small dogs six months but for bigger dogs you may want to let them grow a little bit like eight nine months before when i was looking at before a year is like the when i was looking at purchasing a borzoi uh i spoke to a borzoi breeder if you don't know what they are they're the really long nosed dogs b-o-r-z-o-i if you care or the subreddit long boys boys is spelled b-o-y-e-s um i wanted one of those because they're like super cool internet dogs they're expensive like they start out in the three thousand dollar range oh and um i had found one that was like affordable i think ish because of something or another i don't know he was like

eight weeks old instead of six or ten weeks old instead of eight or something and it was more like 2200 2400 or something like that and i was like all right yeah i want that i want the long boy and and the lady who was selling it like auntie sold the dog she was like have you ever had a borzoi before are you aware of the complications that borzois can can occur do you know that you know you had you cannot have them fixed before like 18 months because their bone density needs to be like this and it felt like she was like attacking my ignorance rather than trying to fill in a potential customer. I was just so turned off that I went and bought Topee.

Keep your fucking dog. We had a similar experience. They quizzed us. Have you had Great Danes before? Yes, this will be our third one. Do you know about this? Yeah, we know. We need a letter of recommendation from our veterinarian to buy the dog. I've never

heard of that before and they came in like look at your place too to make sure he was going to have a decent place to stay maybe i thought maybe that's a little extreme might be i don't know if we i know they asked us about our place i know they asked if we had like you know does anyone work from home or is anyone home all day they They asked us about that. But I think the dog was in Georgia, so they didn't come here. So I looked at a lot of different sources for puppies and rescues. For months, I kind of tooled back and forth over the many options. And I would say the majority of places that you would get what I would call a good dog. You read all the stuff that they do before you get the puppy.

And it's like a paragraph and a half. And then some like lineage horse shit. They like DNA test the dog to see if it could have if it's more likely to have X, Y and Z problems. Like there's a lot of value in that. And oh, shit. I lost my train of thought. Something like a good dog. Oh, is. I lost my train of thought. Something about a good dog. They wanted to come

to my house and tour the house and the backyard and see where the dogs stay. They absolutely won't give you a dog if you don't have X amount of fenced-in backyard. They won't. What the heck?

Y'all can be picky and choosy like that? Yeah, right? I want the dogs to be happy i hope every dog has a happy great life on a farm with my dad but most of you aren't okay you're not gonna get to chase rats as my dad kills them with his combine that's the dog life that's the fucking dog's life until one day you run too fast and you go into the combine yourself and then it's over like that you don't have to die that slow pitiful death where you gotta here's what they say on reddit now little little timothy crossed the rainbow bridge today i wish they'd just be honest i gassed my dog who was in pain

today this is the last this is the last iphone picture i took before i let the strangers kill him like oh you're fucking colorful language across the rainbow bridge. Kiss my ass. The rainbow bridge. This ain't Thor. No,

I eat. I eat. Idris Elba's in there. I use every part. Sleep. No. Wing said that it was part of a man's duty to put his dog down himself

with the firearm. Do you think that? Wow. What a pussy. I use my own two hands. Well, did he say that was that in the same that was in the same conversation about the cat though wasn't it i i don't remember him saying that and i'm quite the historian but if he did say that i wouldn't say that he's entirely wrong um that's how you know like i've put dogs down that way and their pain has ended instantly and you feel good about what's happened because usually if you're doing that to a dog its

guts are hanging out because it just got crushed by a vehicle and every moment of its life is awful and you're just crying while you kill the dog going It's going to die. I do have a horrific dog put down story. No thanks! Oh no, that sounds good for a laugh. So my dad, back when he was younger,

he used to be sort of a foreman up on a coal job up at a strip mine up in Kentucky. And he had this Doberman that he had bought. He said it was like he put thousands of dollars into, you know, getting it from a breeder, training it professionally. And it was the dumbest dog he ever had.

This thing would just like get away from him. It always like just ran out into the woods. He'd have to go find it. Well, one day he brings it up to the top of a strip job where they're up on top of a cliffside. And I think what happened is the cliff started to give way. So everyone started to think, all right, move the trucks off, move the dozers off the side. So dad's trying to coordinate this. And what had happened whenever he got there is he put the dog in the truck and the dog managed to like, he had the windows down.

Dog jumps out the window and it just disappeared. He didn't see it well while all these bulldozers are moving he hears and what had happened is this dog just laid down in dozer tracks and as the dozer was coming for it just didn't move so dad he's like oh no so he takes the dog puts it in his truck and he was staying in like i'm sorry kyle he was he was staying on site there at the bottom of the hill so he drives down the bottom of the hill he gets the dog out and he lays it on his porch and he thought the dog was dead like it's quiet laying there he's like oh man this is so sad but i've got

guys up there with equipment it's a dangerous situation i gotta go back so he goes back up the hill handles that for about half an hour he drives back down afterwards and what had happened is the dog was not dead instead the dog had used its front its back end was flat it used its front paws to drag itself into the road and got hit by a car so that and it was still alive it was still alive so dog's like oh dad's like oh my word it's broken on both ends he drags it around to the back of the house and he gets a gun to put it down and he looks down at it and the dog looks up at him with these sad eyes and dad like starts to cry and he's like i can't look so he turns away and fires and puts around straight into its heart and it starts screaming and shouting so dad screams back at it like ah

and unloads the mag into the dog and every time jesus every time he tells that story he's like yeah i didn't have a dog for a while after that i needed time you were right that was awful then he gets run over by a truck and then he gets shot several times aww he didn't deserve that no he didn't but he's in heaven

he's dancing on the rainbow road but in real life he's dead I remember like willow be like willow blackness in the blackness the nothingness man if hell is real fuck you wish you wish dang that's crazy it would almost be better if hell were

real, because maybe eventually God and the devil truce it out and we'll all live some other place. We'll move the suburbs of hell. But the alternative, you know, like Marietta. But the alternative

is just the reality. It goes black. It's all for nothing. I don't know. There could be something neat. Not a thing. We don't know. For us? Come on. We're so awful. There's nothing good for us. Look, for good people. Here's how I know.

We're not us as beings. We're not decent enough to deserve anything after this. I think we're all pretty just us as beings like like we're not decent to deserve anything after this i think we're all pretty decent as a species no i meant the four of us those are like shitty i think i think we're gonna be like i'm a big fan of the show and you're not welcome here i think we're well meaning but what if. What if I get to heaven and God's like, there are a few problems with the way I was represented. I have been Indian the entire time.

I'd be like... You are not allowed in the internal paradise of my convenience store. You step through the pearly beaded curtain. God, smells in here.

I don't want to go. Is it cabbage? Is it cabbage? Yes, there were many problems with the way I was portrayed in the Bible. They said my apostles' names were like Luke and John. It was John Aresh and Lukerum. I don't know. Fuck.

Luke of us. Yeah. I am very interested in saving your eternal soul. I would like to talk to you. No, do not hang up. Do not hang up. See, that would be better like like like like hindu stanny um fucking uh uh phone phone seller guy is is prep as a god is preferable to you know reality yeah he'd at least be fun and like

you'd like to get a laugh i love that i love that when kids when kids would ask in church like so wait a minute wait a minute my dog's not going to heaven because like parents would tell that lie just like santa claus i'll mix that in like yeah your goldfish would be in church, wait a minute, my dog's not going to heaven? Because parents would tell that lie, just like Santa Claus. They'll mix that in. Yeah, your goldfish will be in heaven. And they're like, nah, they're not going to heaven, but don't worry, neither are you.

I just want to say that once. Just so you know, this is all off. I shouldn't say these mean things in front of Wendigo. Dude, I remember the way they... He's probably a deacon or something. He's on the take.

He can't be part of it. No, he's... He's like a deacon or something he's on the take, he can't be part of it he's like a capo in like the Muslim board meeting they've got Gwindagoon up there where they're like get rid of this guy this is the one that teaches the little ones I assume that's how religions work. You got the Jews, the Muslims, the Mormons.

They all have a war room. We're all trying to actively kill each other. Yeah, exactly. All trying to win. And then the Mormons are like, we don't even have to play. We're going to have 100 kids apiece. No, it feels mean because I like you. I just don't.

No, no, bro. You know what they say? Hate the sinner, not the sin. Or is it the other way around? I like you. I just don't. No, no, bro. You know what they say. Hate the sinner, not the sin. Or is it the other way around? I can't. I hate the sinner, not the sin. Fuck, I've been a terrible Christian for years based on misunderstanding. Hey, fuck you.

And then you suck a dick. No, you're good, bro. I'm not offended at all. I've heard way worse. You're good. There are multiple people in my comments who want me dead over it so it's fine oh i'm sure yeah a bunch of douchebags yeah it'd be how it'd be that's like i said we have the war room you know we're plotting it out too so it's fine yeah the church has surface to air missiles we're taking care of you know what religion's going to do really well is the next one to release, like, a DLC.

Like, more... That's what Mormons did. That's literally what the Mormons did. And how are the Mormons doing? Mormons are, what, the fastest-growing religious sect on Earth for a long time running? Granted, there's a little finagling there with percentages, because, like,

there's so many, like, Christian Catholics are not gonna explain it in a year. Dude, Catholicism was ruined by rmt yeah i fucking hate skill-based matchmaking they're putting me up with these really difficult to trick priests and dude the moving around of the catholic priest is like the nail in the coffin if you ask me for the whole hierarchy of that religion because you can't explain it away you can't say oh yeah turned out there was this there were a lot of priests that we didn't know who's to say you know there nobody's looking over a priest's shoulder we trusted them too but it's like no

dude for like the the last 50 or 80 of years of recorded history that we have where we actually started writing shit down for real like y'all been doing it constantly and hiding it and like relocating them i love the bill burge up like where he's like like you treat him like one of those killer whales just moving him to another theme park like he didn't kill three trainers it's absurd like true when you i'll say this if i was running like like forget a religion if i had a fucking like fan club theme park not whatever the fuck where we're all like supposed to be doing things the kyle way or something and i found out that like one of the little kyle's was over here like do it oh my, we gotta get him! We gotta make it public!

Maybe we need to go back to some of that old school stuff we always talk about. I'm the Pope, right? Let's get him up here to the Vatican. Don't I make the rules? Code of Hammurabi stuff. Intense stuff. Does the Pope have the power? We have to molest him now. I bet the Pope

has the legal ability to extradite somebody from another country and execute them in the Vatican City. He could do that, right? I bet he could. Wouldn't Taylor say rectory? He said corrective.

He said corrective. As if they're going to punish him with what he did. Which seems seems you know very eye for an eye the rectumry or the rectory that's what i was both i like that the rectumry yeah what he thought he heard it they have no no i know a bunch of like catholic people who are like yeah my church has you know they they've decided that they don't like what the vatican's doing and they're separating themselves forward and doing their own thing it's like you're this is protestant with extra steps you're just going the long way

this is protestantism within okay then you're not okay then you're not a catholic anymore yeah it's it's like okay just so you know you're not a catholic we've been on that we have been and i'm telling the pope i mean honestly like canonically canonically catholicism has moved a bit in that direction like not a bit enormously in that direction over the past couple centuries like i think in most catholic churches it's accepted now like you can just confess to god yeah like that that's allowed do you know how many people were like each other over yeah do you know how many people were like each other? Oh yeah. Yeah. Do you know how many people were like burned alive?

Literally saying like, you can confess to God directly. And they're like, burn him, burn him on the stake. Like, you know what I saw about Joan of Arc recently? You know what they,

her charges were when they burned her alive? Too hot. Yeah. I think, you you know she's leading the the the french right and the rebellion the campaign in age of empires yeah i know the gist yeah you know do you know what the charges were they used to burn her it wasn't blasphemy it was probably um oh fuck uh not heresy yeah i was gonna say heresy you would think but she wasn't saying anything heretical at all. She was preaching the gospel.

She was just reading from the Bible. But the problem was she was leading men into battle, and when she did so, she wore pants and armor. Wow, interesting. And right there in Leviticus. Woo! You best not be doing that. So they burnt her up on those charges, cross-dressing.

Interesting. That is bullshit. Poor Joanan of arc a true hero a true hero well she was schizophrenic for sure right i don't care i don't know shit about her man i'm here to make baseless accusations just continue off of that i'm here to make total assumptions of how things were gonna to go based off that. How big of an army did she lead? Do you know? I don't have those numbers for you. Zach?

Zach! Here's what we'll do. We'll all guess how big her army was. At its height, loser has to take a bite out of a medium-sized onion. Is this Price is Right closest number? I'm fine with that. I'll eat an onion. I'm guessed. I go last,

so go ahead. Okay, well, hold on. Now, for those of us who, or for those of you who aren't familiar, someone, Zach, what year was Joan of Arc? It was 1430. He put it in. Yes, 1430. 1430, just a tip of my tongue. I'm going to say

that I want to go second. Hands are up, by the way. Okay, so just to preface, I don't know the history very well, so when I say men that she led into battle, I think just so that when we get the number, we don't go, oh, but this and that.

I mean that she was part of an army and she was leading men. Yes. Are we talking about the size of the whole army or just the cadre who were there on her? I would say whole army. I feel like there's no accurate demographic for whole army, though, because this was spoken by word and tongues. And there were multiple battles. Well, Google will give us a number a number though if we google how large was joan of arc's like army and i'm gonna i'll go first because i feel like that's a big disadvantage and it was my idea to eat a huge disadvantage thank you now are we gonna have to devour the onion let the bite

of the onion swallow it i don't want to play this game i thought all right Park was a sailor just based on his name. The show of VR! Jonah was wife. Woody's like, two of every kind! Okay, well, how many animals are there? Jonah Park. We've been talking about Catholicismism and like the vatican

where's the boat all right all right well maybe don't maybe nobody wants to play all right i've got an idea in my head maybe it's a stupid guess based on what you're going to say i'm going to guess that the french army and 1400 that joan of arc was fighting with in the biggest battle that they fought in ever was numbered at 9 000 men i was gonna go higher than that i'll stick with what i was gonna say i was gonna guess 20 000 i was gonna say 10 all along so i'm just guessing i i would say somewhere around like four or five honestly because battles most battles afraid you do that those battles in europe weren't that big but since we're playing i know it's 8999 $999,000. $12,000. $12,000. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

Wait, Taylor. No, no. He didn't know who Joan was until I said go. This doesn't count. Wait, wait, wait. The question is, who's the furthest? Taylor, what did you say? Who regals?

I said $20,000, so I'm... No, he's off. Taylor lost. All right, fine. I recommend a Vidalia onion. They're sweet. Hey, if you guys actually text me to remember to buy an onion before next show, I will buy the onion.

I'm going to have to... Because I've got fake teeth, I can't take a bite out of an onion. You're going to boil the onion. I said $8.99. I love that he's got a special onion circumstance. Well, it's because I'm not supposed said $8.99. I love that he's got a special onion circumstance. Well, it's because I'm not supposed to eat onions.

Taylor, I'm better than onions. If you either eat the onion or you don't eat the onion, you do not want a Wings of Redemption this onion situation. Well, I was saying like I would... Well, this is

sour cream and onion chips you know no no we we said to have a a big bite of a like a medium-sized onion and what i'm saying is i will take a knife i'll carve off a giant ass bite and i'll eat the whole thing i'm teasing it's but or i'll either like you know what fine i'll go to the fucking dentist ways of redemption no it's got to be raw that was the bet wasn't broken teeth. No, go to the dentist with broken teeth and boil the onion. No, it's got to be raw. That was the bet, wasn't it? Yeah, but you've got to drink the soup. What the fuck is it?

I think Taylor just got the onion to preserve his teeth. I think we should allow that. What kind of monsters are we? No, no. Can you imagine if my teeth break? Do you remember when you saw that happen to Tucker on stream? Did you see that?

Oh, did his teeth break? Yeah, but he has. I think it's one of his front center. Tucker Carlson? No, Tucker Ijerico. The guy on the podcast, right? I was like, damn, I thought if that was on the news, I would have seen somebody's tooth pop.

But no, that sucks. He handled it really well. He laughed. He had a name for his fake tooth Or something and he kept streaming Does he have veneers I think he has maybe a cap I don't know my terms that well It looked like he has half a real tooth

And then it was Oh like those Sharp like nub teeth No My impression was it was broken during his lifetime and then repaired cosmetically oh that repair it can easily re-break okay like have you seen uh the pictures like of that team art because team art has veneers that he's posted because like he'll show like these are my teeth before the veneers and like it's just like those shaved down nubs oh really he shared it all yeah he shared it and like and

i was like hell yeah dude like that that shows confidence i like that but like because i'm gonna have to get veneers before before too actually you know maybe this onion is what finally breaks these temporary teeth and i get to spend and i get to spend eight thousand dollars on veneers oh wow so that was his before. And then I'm sure he has like perfect teeth in front of him. Well, but no, no. This is like for switching out the veneers, I believe. Because all those teeth are like shaved down to accept the veneer coating. And so when you switch them out, they remove them all and put them back on.

That's pretty stupid. Okay, well, this is like color corrected in a weird way. Why are his teeth blue? He got lipstick as well. That's not the best part. Break that saturation up. Either he did that as a joke or someone did that as a troll. Zach plays photograph roulette.

Also, just because his name was brought up, how is Wings doing? I haven't heard anything in a while. Is he okay? Okay. All right. Yeah. I never know until Kyle tells me. No,

no. What you want to do, you just search his name on YouTube and you, the top three videos will let you know his current situation. And, uh, I think it's mostly fighting off what, you know,

just basic stuff. It's the child porn charges, you know, so he's dealing, you know, and, and then also, you know,

his accounts being taken from him by, by, by, you know, mean people on the Internet. Yeah, he was afraid of an investigation, right? Because people were saying about the CP thing. Well, yeah, I guess he had like jokingly said that he had some at one point. And so they're like, well, we'll just tell your local sheriff that you've got it. They'll come get it. And he's like, well, don't do that.

Poor guy. He's just trying to do his thing over there. All jokes aside, I have no idea what's going on over there. I try not to keep up. The last time I was really interested was when he had crazy drama with his wife.

I thought that the newlywed game on here would be the best would be a top five pk all-time segment i heard you say that and as someone who watches the show i also think that would be a fantastic idea i think that would be hilarious like you know you sequester them one leaves the room and he comes back and like wings when you get a sponsor maybe or i'll come out of my goddamn pocket for a hundred dollars you know like because they're not gonna get any of them right whoa you know what you know what just to see wings on here i'll match that you act like wings dude you act like wings runs one of those screens where they're like i don't mean to flex but i'll match that one to five for every

hundred cop puts it i'll match that one one to five with a with the wings you heard it here let wings know20 right now. Rick, $400. You all matched my $100 per question. That's cash money, man. That's cash money. That's $220. What can you do with that?

Per question, they get right. Per question, they get right. Honestly. That's per question. This will add up to $20. I know know which made the whole bit upsetting look i'll say this i'll say this right now hold on hold on i'll say this right now hand hand on the bible hand on the bible right now all right if wings comes on pka

for a newlywed whatever i will put up money for a game show whatever, I will put up money for a game show. Oh, wow! What a statement! For him? No, no, no. How much? How much money? How much do you think it would take?

A hundred a question? You know he doesn't work like that. You could offer him $10,000 or a job that paid $100 an hour and he'd take the cash. Okay? So tell him $100 a question. He'll never bite on that. You have to offer him a flat fee.

It has to be an either or. You have to say to him, $100 an hour, but $10,000. All at once. Do you think he would do it for $1,000? Do you think he'd do it for $1,000? I would like to think that they would come on if we gave them if we said look the lowest you can make is a thousand and if you get enough questions to be above a thousand that'll cap out

at like 1500 but you guys have to play the newlywed game and i'm not going to explain the goddamn newlywed game basically it tests how well a couple know pretty easy with fun questions that that you know i'd write yeah i i yeah it would like the the kind of questions they do on the show are like exactly we wouldn't do anything unfair music and so you would just have to like trust that like kyle and i would write fair questions all right questions and then you know we ask wings privately how does how does so and so let you know when she's in the mood like that would be the kind of questions that you would you know what you know i would add is like a funny one i'd be like how would your wife solve this geometric equation and then it's like well fuck like I don't know you missed that one

who would your wife say was the president or the king of France in the year 800 how would your wife spell nostalgia we just make it so difficult I also I also realized now that I said all that out loud that that possibly I may not should have said that live

because people may use that as something to harass Wings with in hindsight I do not mean it in that way if he wishes to I would be happy to put up the money as someone who watches the show to see him come on for that I'm sure we could raise up a ton of money for a little Wings is a good person don't harass him

for a little pay-per-view show that I'll be putting on called Married Life with Wings. So, you know... You guys think of yourself as investors at this point. And an FPS production. We need like a... This is what I'm always saying about...

Oh, that would be easy. How about like Birds of a Feather and it's both of them like leaning back against each other taking dang poor wars what whale wars that's a good one kyle is being evil right now i would love to have this my 600 pound lives joe um but. I'm also not saying I have to be a part of it. I'm not saying I expect to be on anything. I will just be silent and put up the cash.

I need to see him make it happen. I'll be the executive producer. I think people were shocked at first how interested people would be in YouTube boxing, but I think everybody's sleeping on just how interesting it would be to see a 22-minute episode of the newlywed

game with those two playing for sponsors' money. We need music. We need the music, the lead-in, the production. Really, the music's the big part. That adds to it. I bet we can't have it. Music's free.

It's in the air. You don't have to own music air It literally goes in your ear And out the other How can a man own a sound What are you saying that I've been sued That is merely The white man's money Let go of me, please. Let go of me.

Let go of me. That was Copyright Infringement Engine. And that's the show. Check out Wendigo and we'll have links in the description. PKA 633.