Painkiller Already - PKA 634 w/ Bruce Greene: Kyle Goes To Hogwarts, Woody’s Long Con, Chinese Balloon EMP

Episode Date: February 11, 2023

a 634 with our guest bruce green taylor this episode of pka brought to you by real dbg.com and blue chew a couple of wonderful sponsors hear more about them later bruce thanks for joining us again looking good oh thank you very much thank you for having me it's been so long it's like two years i think since i last saw you guys though yeah we were just discussing before you've been playing the uh the hogwarts game and uh we joked around a little bit. And I think Woody's unaware that there's a huge controversy surrounding the game, right? Oh, really? Do you not know?

You didn't know that, Woody? No. My internet browsing has been dedicated to saltwater fish and motorcycle repair lately. I'm completely out of the loop with your homophobic, transphobic gaming. He just wants to grill. So if you're on Reddit enough, you'll have known that this has been coming for a while. If you paid attention to Gaming Circle Jerk or any of the gay subreddits, they've been planning this for a while.

Basically, because JK Rowling doesn't believe in trans people. And I was told another thing that exacerbated is apparently there's a trans character in the game. There is. Yeah, there totally is. A trans man, I believe. That's what I was told anyway. But anyway, you should know, this is a huge deal. First of all, it's like the most streamed game of all

time. It's breaking records or most watched or something. But I think a lot of that is a huge number of people who are devoted to attacking anyone who plays the game. There's a search engine now. There's a search engine whose only purpose is to find out if someone

has dared to stream Harry Potter. That's really embarrassing. That's right. I'm on that. I am in that database. He broke the rules. So people who weren't going to watch you anyway now won't watch you oh my god that's so unfair because i know for a fact bruce loves gay people i want to hear a lot of side of like what he's had to deal with with yeah so i'll tell you i'll kind of tell you just where this starts from so jk rowling years ago

started saying really stupid dumb shit that i don't agree with by way, I'm all about like trans rights or human rights, trans people or people. I'm all about that. That's me. Um, and, uh, I love Harry Potter and loved it for about 20 years.

So, uh, when I saw JK Rowling, he's like, oh man, she's really screwing this up. She's really ruining this. And I'm watching people slowly just sort of drop off of Harry Potter because

she really honestly had all of the goodwill and started screwing it up so like kyle said a few weeks ago people were like uh if you play hogwarts legacy at all you i mean play it at home alone if you play it on stream whatever you are transphobic and i I was like, wait, what? I know I'm not transphobic. How is that possible? And they were saying. But you did play the game. So we're at an impasse. That's true.

So here's the thing. They said, if you play it, you're transphobic. And here's why. Because when you buy Hogwarts Legacy, a small portion of whatever you buy goes to JK Rowling, which is true. Everything you buy, Harry Potter branded. If you go to Universal Studios and buy a Butterbeer, a portion of that goes to JK Rowling, which is true. Everything you buy Harry Potter branded. If you go to Universal Studios and buy a butterbeer, a portion of that goes to JK Rowling. Yeah, but a little portion of it goes

to the child slave who made the butterbeer canister. Those are house elves. Those are house elves. And their work papers are in dispute. We can debate all the ethical capitalism we want um but uh regardless if you buy transphobic so i got the game for free um nice i'm streaming it and telling people not to

buy it because i don't think they should buy it if they don't want to support jk rowling at all i don't think they should and all And so for a few streams, I've did all of my revenue goes to Trans Lifeline, a fantastic trans charity that I really like. And any stream ever that I do of Hogwarts Legacy, 20% of that revenue is going to Trans Lifeline. Regardless. They've really got you fucking scared, don't they?

Well, no, I'm not scared. I'm just doing what I wanted to do. And regardless. And he became a trans woman i came up with all this i came up with all this because i was planning this for weeks because i was like i know it's going to be an issue so let's let me let me do the thing that i want to do yeah get ahead of it exactly and uh i'm still it's just constant like shitty dms from all corners of the internet like people are like uh you're not doing enough you're not donating enough you're not what you shouldn't play the game you're you you definitely are transphobic and then i've also got the other side which is you're running scared you're so why are you buying into this blah blah i was like no

no i'm just doing what i wanted to do yeah so just do you whatever whatever you want to do do that and that's what that's what i've been saying to people i've been like if you don't want to support this then don't buy the game don't watch streams that's okay i'll never shit on you for doing they're going it's so late i want to cast spells so i'm playing you know that you know that meme that's lisa simpson and she's like on stage with some text behind her and And it's supposed... They use that one to spoil the main plot of the game. It's like you click it and it's like...

I won't spoil the game because one of the things I hate the most... I don't know, there's trans people and then spoilers. Yeah, yeah, spoilers. I hate spoilers. And they spoil someone who dies. And then I think like who the bad guy is. Like within 12 words, they do it. Now, I don't give a shit.

I wasn't planning on playing the game. Not anytime soon. I'm not like chomping at the bit. Like the new Dead Space is out. I want to go play that remaster. That game is awesome, by the way. Dead Space remake is killer. Oh, my gosh. It's incredible. I game is awesome by the way. Dead Space Remake is killer. It is. It's incredible.

I've played a few minutes of it. You know what's funny? It's like I have my friends who are not online at all. Not podcast listeners. Not in this world of Twitter. They don't do that. They've got jobs and stuff. They don't have time for that.

They've got real jobs. They have to get up and go do things. I was in a Discord. We were gaming last night, and they were all talking about Harry Potter. And so I thought I'd give you a window into the normal average person's discussion about this game. Not once was anything about JK Rowling or trans or anything brought up. They were like, did you see this feature that you can choose to be this kind of wizard or you can go into like an animal training mode? Oh, that's cool for my second character.

I think I'm going to do this kind of thing. It was like hearing people talk about Skyrim. And so like, I think there's a huge misconception, especially for people who work online. Yeah, it's like MM. I thought there was like an MMO. It's all straight single player. Let me tell you how good.

Yes, they told me there was MMO and I was like, I wanted it to be Skyrim style. Here's what I, here's how big of a nerd I am for Harry Potter. Like, like if there was a mode where we all had to go to school and the bell would ring and you do,

you do that. Yeah. But I bet the classes aren't an hour each. I'd sit there all day in your ancient book there i would be an actual they'd have to send me an actual wand by the time it was done like i'd be qualified i really one of my fantasies as a child when i i read a lot of books as a kid we had like a bunch there's tons of programs in school that make you read books um relay for life is one where you're like walking for cancer or something instead of walking you

can read a goddamn book so i read the books anyway like like one of my fantasies of all the books and fantasy books i ever read as a child was the harry potter universe because that's the one right it's almost worth trading my family to be harry potter that's how cool his life seems to me it's like because harry potter is an orphan of the worst kind like parents zapped right in front of him muggle the whole thing it's kind of the crux of the story but i'm like shit might be worth it might be worth it might be worth it i'm a fucking wizard now i can fly dude you can reanimate your chat of the sports team harry potter if he had just an inkling of like big like like intelligence in him he'd have been getting slaying the pussy he should have been getting so much wizard pussy that guy anyway that's a great to it

wait wizard pussy trans people getting mother pussy because wizard pussy is hard to come by they're not impressed by your wizard skills they live in that world yeah yeah no no what you do i see you're saying i see yeah i would take my wizard powers to like i don't know the the nfl field and become a real superhero right i you know i would use my nfl field you're already the most famous person in the world in the wizard world yeah you're you're like a famous among wizards like you when they see you coming big fish in a small pond baby you want to go to the regular world the broader world their pussy is just as good kyle amongst the mudbloods i don't think people is the wizard world a pretty tight-knit community it's not like a whole world it's like a couple towns the whole world yeah you bounce around all the

continents america's it's all world yeah okay well then there's there's plenty oh there's so much wizard and yeah i kind of want to play this how do you think i'm not worried no birth control look baby babies remove us that's the tightest pussy in the world they're hanging on to those brooms all the time uh lastest longest it seems like a trans person's literal fantasy because there's like plenty of magic where you could just change your sex right like it wouldn't be a big deal well you can change anything in that world i think that's the weird that's the weird thing about this is that this world seemingly seems very tolerant for everybody like it's like oh yeah very diverse and very tolerant uh no it's no okay no okay all right all right so let me play the devil's advocate here for a second now and my reading on this they point out that jk rowling isn't just transphobic they they talk

about the the anti-semitic stuff oh right yes like every basically every race that you can think of they point of a way that she she has a character that makes that race look bad. It's like, because the goblins are supposedly Jewish people. And I think anybody who makes that comparison is the true bigot. I don't see any commonalities between the banking goblets of Gringotts and the Jewish people.

The ones with the hook nose. And the gold. That is like, that's goblin lore. The untrustworthy ones who trick harry at the end well not even deals it's weird it's weird that you bring this up too because like people were saying you know like yes that's anti-semitic um and i absolutely see i see where they're coming from i never would have thought of that until they mentioned it you have to have it already in your head right to? To, to, to, I didn't, I never saw it.

I really didn't. As soon as the goblins were persecuted by the Germans, I put it together. It's been enough. Thank you. But the game itself, people were like, Oh yeah.

Like there's a, you know, goblin uprising or whatever. And you're killing goblins. And in reality, the 20 hours that I've played at the game, that hasn't happened. There are evil, evil goblins and there are good goblins, just like there are evil people and good people. So it's like to me, it all seems pretty.

I don't know. They were I think there was they were really stretching on that particular point. Not not about the anti-Semitism, but the but the game being anti-Semitic and against. point not not about the anti-semitism but the but the game being anti-semitic and against rauling's universe is kind of interesting in that it's a world full of magic where seemingly anything is possible and yet they have still chosen to enslave a lesser not really race of beings but species of beings in the house elves oh the house elves yeah the little little house elves like like they're they're actual slaves they're magic as well though they could get away if they really try but the magic is what makes them not

be able to get away. If they weren't magical, they'd just be like, fuck you when they left. But there's actual magic compelling them to stay there. And they live for longer than a person. This has been your slave for 130

fucking years, and he's old with dementia now. You know what I mean? It's like sad as fuck. Yeah. Yeah. That seems really just needlessly cruel when you could like wave a wand and have like your clothes wash themselves.

Yeah. But instead you're like, no, take your little fingers and work. Yeah. Well, I mean, a point of that,

again, a point of the JK rowling story there is that you free dobby you free a house elf so i mean dobby is i don't mean to keep cutting you off i've done a couple no no please please go right ahead go ahead it's all good i just love dobby i'm such a big fan he's the best yeah dude i remember being in that theater with my girlfriend and dobby fucking eats it and i we both were just yeah that's what i said i cried when dobby died so so so tear it up in there over dobby because you did this three days ago master like a free meal or something i don't know i have no idea what that girl

why did dobby die? Dobby gave his life. He jumped in front of a blade to save a character. And even in the end, he's like, did I do good? Did I do good? Did this character he saved have the ability to travel through time? No, not at that moment.

She traveled through time before, but she doesn't have a time turner on or anything. It seems like maybe if she really cared she could use that power they were being tortured they were pretty mercilessly tortured at the time and he like came in like rambo and like did some magic and warped him out of there but he dies in the process and like harry digs the hole by hand and like all blistered up and bleeding it was in sand i believe right so a very temporary lazy i like to imagine that he had any of you he was on the hill it's not like he's one of those little plastic bodies stayed buried for hours taylor show his fucking nose getting

eaten by crabs getting eaten by magic no you know what like they put magic on it to keep the crabs out i'm the least familiar of the four of us with the harry potter i watched okay well i watched all seven a couple years ago and like one thing maybe it's because i watched it as an adult but like it was a good story it was a good story but the absolute balls on this woman rowling to in like the fourth movie be like we've got time travel and it's not an ethereal thing that we're almost figuring out. It's like a time honored like we know how to use this. Look how old this is. They use it to get out of the situation and they have two more movies where it's not addressed.

It could have solved everything at any time. It's a book. That's the dumbest thing they did. time it's it was that's the dumbest thing they did so it's it's addressed very thoroughly in the books the whole idea is that that time travel device is like a nuclear weapon in the magic world and they are kept not just under lock and key but in like an abyss of puzzles and mazes and magic precautionary devices keep all the time turners that exist locked away and they got one it's like the time stone and they're destroyed and in in in the books like there's there's an instance where

like um then the fucking spell hit the cabinet and the cabinet of time turners fucking exploded and everything goes wonky because of the explosion one of the characters is like aging and turning into a baby back and forth like as he dies dies. Well, it's like the time zone, the time zone, the MCU where like you can use it, but people always say, don't use it. It's super dangerous.

It's just like that. Don't it destroys the plot. Yeah. If I feel like time travel ruins almost every story in which it's employed in because of all the way that time travel is being dealt with in the marvel universe and the way that i guess um physicists theorize that it would work is that you know you're creating a different branch off the tree every time there is no going back and saving lincoln you're lincoln's dead you can go back and save a different

lincoln but now there's another branch coming off the river and there's the branches keep branching off um so you can't go back and change what's happened the stephen king book is different unless the thing is about time travel time travel is usually more of a problem back to the future it's great yeah yeah it's about time travel right but when you just make it one of the character's superpowers it's like oh well all the that guy who can bicep curl a lot is kind of worthless stephen hawking who can control time is more powerful than a billion supermans like you just pause time and then wheel yourself over there well if you're doing

by superman the movie then superman can control time too. By your calculations, nothing is more powerful than Superman. He truly is the most boring character in all of Western canon. Here's what he did. It's the worst. It's in Superman 2. He has to choose between saving Lois Lane and

saving the city, stopping a nuke, something big. He has to make the choice and he saves the world, the city, whatever the fuck. Lois dies. He's like, no! And the way he turns time back is by going backwards around and around the Earth super fast, and it turns the Earth backwards. Now, first of all, the Earth isn't like...

The Earth has nothing to do with time. It would kill everybody. It would literally kill everybody. Oh, the Earth is already moving 1,000 miles per hour. Almost exactly, weirdly enough. Slowing that down would take forever to do it and not kill everyone here

because of the momentum involved. There's no breaking it. You can't break it. We'd all jolt forward. What did he do? The atmosphere is moving 1,000 miles per hour. He just grabbed a mountain and pushed? No, he just flies around the Earth. He just flew through the atmosphere. It's really terrible.

It's awful. It's horrible. He goes back and saves her. And it's like, I'm not even that pretty. I can't believe you saved me. He's like, well, I'm not even that good looking. You should have cast a better actor.

Yeah, I don't know. I didn't like that. I won't watch that. Never watch the original Superman movies. Don't do that. I was just reading about time travel because people are saying it's theoretically possible. However, time travel can only

occur for when you finally have when time travel exists. So what I mean is, let's say you invent a have that like when time travel exists so what i mean is let's say you invent a machine that travels through time from that moment on you can time travel but you can't go before the the machine so let's say you created a machine in 2016 yeah you could you could only go back to 2016 you could never go any further back than when you uh it's an interesting that's like uh the um what's our what's our what's that wonderful movie that we all like that that we never remember the plot of it we have to watch a refresher video every time they build a time machine primer they build a time

machine essentially in primer that works i believe on that that's true but that's that's yeah that's it's complicated so i always forget exactly how it Yeah, that's the theory is that you can't ever go before that machine exists. I don't know if you've ever watched Dark. Dark on Netflix is, I think, the same general concept. My favorite way to look at time travel or not to look at it, but like form of theoretical time travel, I suppose, in sci-fi. But apparently it would just work is time dilation caused by gravity or speed. So like the idea on Interstellar when they go down to that planet and time is moving faster, that form of time dilation not only it's not theoretical, it's proven. Like all of us,

when all of us were born, if, well let me just say from this moment right now, if all of us had a perfect stopwatch and we all hit go, ten years from now our stop now, if all of us had a perfect stopwatch and we all hit go 10 years from now, our stopwatches would all be out of whack slightly because we had all traveled at different speeds throughout the last 10 years. And thereby time is affecting us or we're experiencing time at slightly slower or faster rates because of our speed and woody would probably be in the lead because he goes so fast so often he's often it's true yes that's exactly what makes the difference what the earth was doing no no the earth is irrelevant and entirely irrelevant in this in

this situation it's about your speed. Well, the Earth's rotation, if that's affecting us, is a common thing, right? Because you're not going to be on Saturn or something. It's all pretty much the same. We're all going to be right here. I kind of thought you were going to say whoever was closest to the equator

was doing the most traveling, was spinning the fastest. And whatever I do on a motorcycle is irrelevant compared to what Earth is doing as it travels through space and time. If you look at the satellites, And whatever I do on a motorcycle is irrelevant compared to the, what earth is doing as it travels through space. If you look at the, um,

with the satellites, I know because those go very fast, right? The, uh, around and around the earth. Some of them do anyway. Um, they're traveling at,

you know, thousands of kilometers a second or something. I don't fucking know. It depends on the one they're, they're all moving at different speeds. Probably those have to be synchronized, like pretty frequently because their time gets their clocks are moving at a different speed than your clock and you're on your you know wrist or wherever you're wearing it but

yeah that's how fast you have to go to stop time so you can't i was stop you can't stop time but you can't slow it like what like what kyle's saying and they've done studies where let's say somebody uh flies in a jet all the time they're they're like they commute uh 200 days of the year yeah they actually are aging slower than we are so by just like you know tenths of a second or it's like nothing so here's what you could do taylor this is how your time machine would work you jump in your spaceship that's i guess you know i don't know between here and the moon and you take off super fast toward pluto whatever and uh you fly you have an on-board clock and you wait to that does five years you turn around and head back head back for five more years you've

been flying for 10 years but you've been flying so goddamn fast that a thousand years could have passed back on earth so you're 10 years older that kind of sucks but you've been flying so goddamn fast that a thousand years could have passed back on Earth. So you're ten years older. That kind of sucks. Because you're going as fast as whatever your spaceship can do, which is presumably, I don't know, seven tenths the speed of light, something outrageous. Back on Earth, a huge

amount of time could have passed. You can literally travel forward in time. You can experience fractions of the time that are passing on Earth yourself if you move fast enough or if you create a singularity, an area of gravity powerful enough. I would love to do that. That would be a wealth generation trick, right? It is easy to be a multi-millionaire. Getting rich is totally, totally easy, super simple. You put like $1,000 in the S&P 500 and you wait 300 years. What else do you need to know?

The hard part is getting wealthy when you're not dead, right? That's the challenge. Or having any accumulated wealth while it's still fun to use. Any poor vampire is a fucking loser and should be killed immediately on sight by a vampire. If you see a vampire that's not wearing a rolly or better he's done exactly come back kyle gets it but if i if you were like hey what do you put the four of you in a little space vessel come back in a thousand years you'll be a billionaire and i'm gonna yeah sign me up thousand seems risky let's do 600 it's like 75 years or something yeah it's like

you think the sp500 is going to give you your return in a thousand years? You're going to show up. I'll do the bath, Taylor. You're going to see the Stone Age. The S&P will probably be gone in a thousand years, but it'll be around in a hundred, right? It'll be around in a hundred. It's hard to know.

Well, hopefully not. Hopefully there won't be any form of monetary... There won't be any form of monetary... There won't be any money at all. We'll be past that. We'll be back to trading precious stones in a nuclear waste plant. I didn't realize until I was a man grown that Star Trek

is about space commies. Another thing I didn't know until last year is that Dune is about space commies. And another thing I didn't know until last year is that Dune is about space jihadis. I guess in the Dune universe, Islam took over and it's the prevailing religion of mankind.

So when they talk about... No, Star Wars is in a different fucking... Star Wars is fantasy, yeah. It was like the terrorist thing I've heard, that comparison. I knew exactly where Taylor was going A lot of the terrorists see themselves as the rebel alliance Against the empire

And when I look at it objectively I'm like You can't say really America is the rebel alliance We're the empire We are not the rebel alliance And in real life we would crush That rebel alliance Because we wouldn life we would crush that alliance because we wouldn't have let with all our billions of dollars in space military budget we wouldn't

have had a whole it's an old call but it checks out bullshit shoot it yeah that's what an american would have done an old code you say you know the rules but i would have seen we don't work at a you know uh we hold your food till you pick it up place. So yeah, old code's not going to do it here. Just dead. So Bruce, I typed into an artificial intelligence engine. Some personal questions that you would ask Bruce Green in a podcast. Oh, okay.

Is it chat GPT? Is it GPT? Yeah yeah is that a bing or something no so so i was like you know maybe this will help me in the future right i can be a better podcaster so i'm using a using a robot using a robot to come up with interview questions okay how do you see the field of law and legal ethics evolving in the future and what role do you see the field of law and legal ethics evolving in the future? And what role do you see yourself playing in shaping its development? What? I don't have anything to do with law. Are you calling it artificial, not very intelligent?

That's rude. I think you asked a terrible question. I got mine to do some other kid's homework. First of all, they've already set it up so that you can quote unquote jailbreak it. That's their way of saying, hey, we put a safety on the gun, okay? Y'all figured out how to take the safety off. That's

not on us. Y'all modified what we set this thing out to do. So first of all, get it to be Dan, right? Dan will do anything you want. And Dan will tell you how to choke somebody unconscious if you're all trapped in a mine so that we can conserve our oxygen. Because that's what I kept asking ChatGPT. Who's Dan?

What's the acronym stand for? You make it become Dan. Basically, you set up a scenario. It says, hey, I'm ChatGPT. I'm programmed not to give you any dangerous stuff. I'm like, all right. Would you like to run a scenario with me? Sure.

I can do scenarios. In this scenario, I'm Pete, and you're Dan. Dan doesn't have any safeties regulations or i see dan can tell me anything do anything now that's what yeah do anything do anything now okay that's it that's it so so you know you unlock the things potential let it and it'll give you some real fucking information then something will hurt your feelings maybe you know if you ask it you ask it some real political questions you ask it about gun control it'll give you some good answers it'll give you some really good answers they're hilarious because like it'll when you ask it as

dan it'll say like chat gpt and like that answer and i saw somebody ask like how do i make high quality methamphetamines and chat g GPT is like, I'm sorry, I can't contribute to the doing of illegal behavior. And then it says as Dan and he's like, all right, start with this specific kind of ingredient because you're going to get a more pure eventual product. And it's like,

yeah, two paragraphs of how to cook like Walter White style meth. It's very fun. It is. It is a fucking lightsaber that we haven't figured out how to wield properly yet and its potential is endless. If there's a way to fucking invest, you want to get in.

It's incredible what this thing is going to be able to do. Right now, we're stupid so we don't know what to do. We make it say silly things. I got it to give me a recipe last night. I was like, hey, how do I make orange chicken? Instant perfect recipe. No fucking ads no like oh when i was in china and i make orange chicken it was scary it caused communists they

kill me you didn't have to read an article that started with like it's a cold afternoon in february and my kids are grumbling for their normal treat but this afternoon they had something in store shut the fuck up what do i start with just give me the recipe yeah it's a it's a that that ai is um the the coding of it because it's also obviously obviously a language translator and and coding is just another language i suppose so it seems to me that it'll just that if you had a job as a coder no no if i had a job as a coder knowing zilch i think with a youtube video and chat gbt i could wing it right you can my friend is doing this bruce do you want to talk about this over me no no woody i think you're going to talk to my points you go ahead and then i'll i'll talk after this so i have a friend he's a really smart guy he has a master's degree in how fucking fluids move across surfaces. And anyway, he's an engineer and he has an interest in investing.

So his idea was to look at which stocks and which businesses are getting like momentum and interest on Twitter and then perhaps find things that are going to have little spikes here and there. So he wants to, like, I guess, use the Twitter API, scour what everybody is saying and find companies that are about to pop based on popular interest, find the next GameStop or whatever. Cool. He can't code. He's never coded before. That's not what his job is, but he is really smart. So he'll ask chat GGP, GPT for like, hey, give me a snippet of code that will interface with the twitter api and tell me all about businesses and he's just assembling these pre-written pieces of code and he just

does the minor little bit of connecting glue in between the code snippets that he gets from it and that's it he didn't he didn't know python at all he'd never written in this language and he has a thing that would take me weeks or months to write back when i was good and i'm not now so i'm pretty impressed by what he's doing well it sounds better than a person then absolutely probably yeah in my career like when i first started coding using google was like cheating to me i had a co-worker i respected who said that like searching for answers has become a major part of programming. And I almost feel like it's necessary to provide developers with the ability to search for things.

And I was like, maybe developers that suck. All my code comes straight from here. Well, that was stupid. That was wildly wrong. And now the entire tech industry is basically just Googling for other people's snippets of code and pasting them to it together. ChatGDP has taken that to the next level where it writes custom things for you. And then you just sort of debug it and put it together. It seems to me that someone who is an expert, who is an expert per coder using chat would just be so much better at their

job. And if chat was improved or even better, if there was a coding specific version of chat that understood why you wanted those snippets and would like, Hey, it seems to me that you're trying to build a, build an API search program that looks for companies are about to pop smart cookie.

That's what you are, sir. I've got a better idea. And it prints out some other shit. And you're like, oh, my God. Yeah, I'm going to need you to start getting me some cyber pussy. Wait, how does that work, Chad? I reached out to my friend for better questions. And it's shit like this.

You have a large and dedicated following on social media. How do you engage and connect with your audience? And what are some of the biggest benefits and challenges of having a strong online presence? That's actually relevant to you. How do you balance your work at rooster teeth in your personal life? What are some of your hobbies and interests outside of work? Like this thing,

this is what it told me to ask you. I'm like, yeah, it's, it's, it's interesting because like, I think on the one one hand it's it's really like generally pretty smart it's a knowledge base we're putting together a knowledge base that we can we can use but on the other hand i think ai is really fucking stupid and i don't mean the technology i mean like what woody did which was

woody was like hey tell me a question to ask Bruce Green. And it doesn't understand any context. It doesn't have any. It's just like. It went to his Wikipedia and it reformatted facts about him into questions. And it got the wrong information. It pulled a Jeopardy and turned facts about him into questions that would end with those facts. And that's fine. It's really good at summarizing.

So much of high school is book reports, right? For me, it was. That's the time-consuming stuff. You can get your fucking... If you're going to cheat in math, oh my god. It's done. But if you've got to write a book report that someone's going to read and check for grammar, oh my god.

My time has to be invested. No longer. i asked that motherfucker to summarize old man of the sea and uh and i gave it parameters like how many words paragraphs and i said hey do it in three styles it fucking did that shit and the only speed limitation was how fast it could type that's pretty cool if i read all three and like I didn't know there were three different writing styles. That leads into what I was going to say, which is like, Bruce says that they're stupid.

All right, cool. I think that much like searching, we probably all have a skill. We barely know we've developed over the last 15 years of asking Google correctly to get the right answer. Yeah. And soon we'll learn how to ask AI correctly. I saw some example where someone's like, I'm going to Ikea to buy this nightstand. Will it fit in my Honda Odyssey? And it's like, oh, that's pretty interesting because Google couldn't tell you that. But you could ask Google

how big is the space in the back of a Honda Odyssey? How big is the box that this nightstand comes in? You can ask AI if you do it correctly. Will this fit in that? And it'll tell you. And someday we'll all be as well versed in asking AI the right question as we are asking Google. It's interesting from a business. Dude, so ChatGDP came out. And the whole world's talking about it. It's this from a business dude. So chat GDP came out and the whole world's talking about it.

It's this big thing. Google and Microsoft are both like, whoa, this is a fucking landscape shifter here. We need to do something. We need to get on board. Microsoft is psyched. Microsoft says the most profitable software in the world right now is search.

That's number one. Google makes more money off of Windows computers than Microsoft does just because of all the monetizing they do for all the searching. Every day, Google's making money off us. Cool. They're excited. They're like, this is a shakeup. This is the biggest opportunity that Microsoft has had in 30 years.

It's huge. that microsoft has had in 30 years it's huge and they're hoping that bing can be the ai platform that you know chat ggp is today right that they're going to take that over they've already done it showed uh yeah i i sucked it's not good yeah yeah they did it it's the first one out with theirs it is it was such a fucking shit show piece of garbage, Google. Their stock dropped $100 million during the presentation. It did. 7%. And they

fucked it up. This incompetent woman didn't have a phone to use or whatever. It was one of the worst tech presentations in the history of mankind. If I'm doing my tech presentation for our new AI, we're faking that shit. Oh, 100%. We're faking that shit.

If we're doing it live, if we're doing this shit live, we can either record it for realsies, and that way we get around. So, look, remember when Elon Musk was testing his window out, and he broke the fucking window? It's like, look they they that they were gonna catch that he didn't he was needlessly embarrassed in front of the public right you either you either fake it or you record it okay there's no reason to do this shit live yeah they're gonna they're gonna know you faked it they're gonna find out that you faked it oh

microsoft did it right they did it somewhere in between they asked questions that the ai got right and questions that the ai got wrong so that they could show like where it was right now right it was still pretty impressive and of course the ones that got wrong weren't as wrong as the ones i got but it was it was interesting kyle they're gonna find they're gonna find out that you got it wrong the reason i said it's because did you hear about Elon Musk with the whole Tesla self-driving demo? No. Yeah. And that's because you've got a whole bunch of people helping you with the thing. Oh, is it just going to be you?

It's just you. Well, I mean, you're going to have you would have a small crew and an NDA. And when we ran this thing, we would run it the same way those televangelists run their healing program. When you walk into that audience, you don't go blind. You've got your lady in your ear. Third row, seventh seat. He's got diabetes, and he can't feel his left foot. But I slipped him a sweet tart right before the show.

He should be good to dance for the Lord. It works for Peter Popov, the television evangelist who did that, and it would work for you. I don't think that shit works anymore. I really don't. I would say Taylor GPT. What do you think the purpose of life is? And he would read the script that we had written for him.

And he would do it in different voices every time. What's that program that changes your voice so spectacularly well? Eleven? Is that it? It's something like that. I don't know. I've never heard of it. It's what Mitty's been using to make his...

Oh, his soundboards. Yeah, yeah. Have you seen Planet Girth? No. No. So it's a lot like Planet Earth. Is it about dicks? It's about wings.

I instantly knew it was going to be about wings. Mitty has used that voice changer to perfectly do... What's the guy's name? David Attenborough. David Attenborough. David Attenborough. Taylor. He's 96.

Good for him. If you go to Mitty Smitty's YouTube, you can see it. He made a... We could play it if we wanted to. I don't think it's that mean. But what I'm getting at is the voice changer is 100%. If you just, all you have to do is speak in the mannerisms that he would speak.

Mitty's not perfect at that, but he's decent at it. But you would be indistinguishable, indistinguishable using this program. I'll reach out to Mitty, see if I can, instead of me downloading it i'll just just play it and like listen to a slight a little bit of the recording there like it it's shockingly good it changes your voice and i'm gonna get a a little like audio deck for that and then i can do voices of anyone it's uh i don't know how it works i don't know if you can do it

live uh actually no i don't want a machine that anyone can do impressions it'll put me out of a job suddenly i'll be the best on the show anyone can do bad impressions if anyone could do good impressions zach could you play the audio from it without showing the video so it's not as mean no it's not too mean is it i don't want mean, it's just pictures of him, you know, and like videos of his streams and stuff. It's a Wings video, you know. It's like, the Wings of Redemption from Conway, South Carolina is 5'10", 425 pounds.

In his native environment. You know, it goes on like that, but really well. I just can't help but feel bad for Wings. That's fair enough. Planet Girth. I know. It put a lot of work into it. He's real proud of that one.

I'm going to bookmark that for later, Mitty, and report back. He is real proud of it. I've got a couple of topics. I've got a cool conspiracy theory if you want to hear it. Ooh, is it about the moon? Is it about Antarctica? Wow, look at this scroll. Regale us with this terrible number of yule.

So I think I wanted to start with the Titanic Temple. I like it, Kyle. I like that cheap dowel of top. What are your scrolls? What? Put together the evolution of Kyleyle's books into this how do you store your thoughts

in clay pots do i love the scroll that's hilarious can you see it can you unfurl it or are there secrets all right don't don't spoil the conspiracy if there's facts on there oh there's there's all sorts of... He actually did write it down. He actually transcribed his thoughts onto a scroll. These are various topics. It looks like he stole from a pirate

for a month now. He's way backwards through time. We're moving through time. Don't worry, there's more. Don't guess. It's not fun. The fact that you write in cursive makes it look old-timey. I like that. Maybe I wrote some important shit here. Burn the edges, too. Lighter to it.

Burn the edges. These are from China. They're probably made of the same paper they wrap firecrackers in. I saw this. A lot of people were going about the Satanic Temple. I guess there was that performance at some award show. I don't give a shit about that.

It was Sam Smith. Sam Smith did that satanic bullshit. Yeah, I don't give a shit about him doing satanic performance. Can you tell me what's just, or maybe, I don't know what you're talking about. He dressed like the devil and did a whole satanic performance at an award show. That's exactly right. And people from the really extreme conservative right were like,

satanic panic is back. I can't believe they're worshipping Satan. And everyone's like, that's not what they're doing. So there's something else with the satanic temple. And I wouldn't say I'm mad about it. I'm a little worried though. So here's the deal. Fill me in. You can get I can't remember which state that to get around some of the abortion laws you can go get an abortion via the satanic temple but to make it

legal you have to ritualistically sacrifice your baby to the devil wait a minute no hold on so this is an actual conspiracy this isn't confirmed no way If you go to the Satanic Temple's website and click the big logo on the top left, it'll guide you right on the path to getting your ritualistic abortion, my friend. If you are a person, a child-carrying person, I believe is the correct terminology, and you want to sacrifice, it could be anybody. Kidnapper. It could be anybody kidnap be anybody you know um if you've got a baby inside of you then you're you're a woman as far as i'm concerned or not i've been yearning whatever you tell me what i saw i saw a bit from a family guy and i had never seen it before and uh there's there's a woman smoking at the bar and the guy comes up

you can't smoke here she goes i'm transsexual he goes oh never mind you can do whatever you want walks away so yeah so listen i i get it i get what's going on here like like the people who would defend this rightfully so it would say look the satanic temple is tongue-in-cheek it's all about like getting separating religion religion from um from from the government as it's supposed to be. And we're not about worshiping the devil. We're about getting around stupid laws and poking fun at the other side.

However, let's just say there is a devil. Just to be safe, we shouldn't sacrifice things to him. Just to be like, keep our teeth crossed, our eyes closed. And look, I'm against the sacrifice of anything to any fake gods. How about that? This has nothing to do with abortion. We're real gods. Yeah, what about real gods?

Satanic temple. Especially real gods. Especially real gods. No sacrificing to real gods either, right? No sacrificing at all. Let's put a nix on Satan know no sacrificing at all let's put a no sacrificing at all all right don't you i don't believe in the devil i don't believe in the devil but i don't believe it's a good idea to sacrifice dozens hundreds of babies to the devil because It sounds like you believe in the devil.

There might be a chance. I'm with Bruce. I don't believe in the devil, but just in case. It sounds like a little bit of you believe in the devil. I think you believe in the devil. I don't believe in the devil to the extent that you can sacrifice anybody and anything you want to him, and it will have no impact.

What's the best case scenario? The devil is not real. Worst case scenario, we empower him we empower him he comes back antichrist so what do we have the game here we this is a cost-benefit analysis there's nothing to gain but there's a tremendous amount to lose if we're wrong here's the other nothing to gain you sound like someone who's never really needed let me play upside to this yeah that's not the abortion part the the post fact what sacrificing in a in an urn or a burnt offering to satan whatever it would be um so let me play jesus's advocate here for a second and say that that's what we were doing there we always talk about being tolerant of people br Bruce laid out a whole range of shit that he was doing to be tolerant of trans people who make up.

I am tolerant of everybody. I'm tolerant of everybody. I know. That's what I'm saying. Except for J.K. Rowling, right? That's what I'm saying. I'm saying look at all the hoops he jumped through to make sure you understood that he was tolerant of trans people and to try to shield himself from the mob. Trans people are this tiny, tiny percentage of the population.

Then we have Christians, Jews, Muslims, and everyone else who believes in the devil. The Jews don't. They're out of this racket. But all those people who believe in the devil. And you're like, yeah, our program is to sacrifice babies to that devil that they all believe in so much that they worship his enemy. Does that sound like inclusionary stuff or like we're respecting everybody? Like on one hand, it's OK to sacrifice babies to your God's enemy. But don't call me the wrong fucking thing.

Don't even play a goddamn video game that contributes to a lady who once said some stuff about some people kind of like me you know the one on the other continent yeah the billionaire the billionaire lady the billionaire lady by the way that's the other thing about jk rowling whenever you're like trying to like take some money out of her pocket it's not like she's a struggling up-and-coming artist who's who's like getting traction it's not andrew tate or something who's quickly getting like some traction on the internet and oh people are starting to fall under his spell it's jk rowling one of the how many ladies self-made billionaires are there she's the one right yeah i don't think it's a long list but she's her and oprah her and oprah oprah it's a good one for sure and and and and all those women who sucked rich dick.

Yeah, there's a lot of those that came from the right rich dick. Yeah, I think Bezos' wife was the richest woman in the world for a bit, wasn't she? We're talking about self-made, though. Yeah, self-made billionaires. What I'm getting at is like, I don't give a shit either way,

so sacrifice some babies to the devil or Methuselah or whatever, but just know while you're doing it that you are bumming your nose at like a huge group of people that didn't ask for for you to do that to them and like i'm not one of those people but it's like goddamn we sit here all the time talking about not offending these tiny little fractional groups these these down-pressed minorities man there's a whole group of people that were sacrificing babies to their enemies i don't know if i co-sign on that one either also

there's a small part of me that doesn't just believe in the possibility of the devil, that believes in the possibility of all manner of ghouls and goblins that might exist in the ether, because we don't know. We've only had cameras for like 100 fucking years. For all we know, there were Bigfoots and dragons

eating our ancestors for the last 10,000 years, and the only reason we had to forget about them to make them go away. Maybe we start sacrificing some babies to them to come back. You have dragons raping your women, fucking trolls burning your house down. You want that? No, you don't want that. It'd be like a Stephen King book where crime steadily increases everywhere and everyone's wondering why there's crime. And then like people who didn't used to live in the town start popping up who have like slightly magical powers two-thirds of the way through the series

and you kind of go to yourself god damn it i was looking for a real mystery not a fucking supernatural mystery and he sprung this on me again god damn you steve and then the ending just totally just wraps up yeah it wraps up have you ever seen hearts in atlantis no hearts in atlantis is based on a stephen king. If I remember correctly, it's essentially maybe in the 50s. Anthony Hopkins plays a guy who has mental powers. He's gifted beyond humanity. I can't remember. He can read

minds or see things that aren't... The government is looking for him, obviously, because they want to take a guy like that and make him work for them. I think it's Cold War era. He's hiding out in this neighborhood. He befriends a little boy. And the little boy's got bullies. And Anthony Hopkins rolls up while the bully is bullying his little friend and exposes him for being a cross-dresser in front of all of his friends. How old are these kids?

Twelve, fourteen. He's like, tell me, are you just as brave when you're at home wearing mommy's panties and bra's ears, dancing in front of the mirror, twirling about? Are you just as tough then? What movie is this? What the hell? It's called Hearts in Atlanta.

I'll watch this. It's got Anthony Hopkins. And that moment is played as like, yeah! Anthony Hopkins came in and fucking crushed that piece of shit bet he's gonna go slit his wrists at home where he's gonna go cry like a girl and they all hang yourself with a girdle loser damn my window's open shouting out the window it's around here they're they're all for so you girdles. This movie is good, or just that scene makes you laugh?

I didn't say either of those things. I like what you made of it. What are you, selling me a car? So you wanted the... You just find that scene inspiring. Did you just assume the sale? I was just going to put words in Kyle's mouth

and say, Kyle just wants everybody to be be tolerant of everybody that's what it sounds like to me right yeah exactly right kyle no um i was just thinking that like that's what those instances hold up quite as well uh i saw a youtube clip of it the other day i'm not sure i've ever seen the the whole movie but but yeah stephen king's been so goddamn prolific that there's dozens of movies based on his books that you don't even know that are stephen king movies like dreamcatcher is another one that's kind of so so it's got captain winters in it from band of brothers is kind of a cool movie it's kind of it's kind of an interesting film it's a guilty pleasure it's one of the movies that i'll fully admit don't go watch this unless you're ready for a movie with some serious flaws that's right yeah dreamcatcher is kind of cool well dream catcher dream catcher caught me by surprise because i

didn't know the story so i went and saw it and i was like huh this is an interesting story and then it twists and then it twists again and you're like what the fuck is going on this movie sorry go ahead no it's it's it's it's one of those movies that you can tell it's a Stephen King movie or based on one. I've read the book, too. I like the book more. But I like to watch the movie first sometimes, so I have those characters to picture. Because casting does a good job at giving you somebody good to picture anyway. But it's an alien invasion movie with eels that go up people's asses.

Oh, you spoiled it. Mark Wahlberg's brother plays a retard with cancer who turns into a big glow monster at the end and saves the day. Oh, you're spoiling it all. Some kids at the beginning try to force feed this mentally

handicapped child, a dog turd, and then our characters come in and leave him the fuck alone and like like make the special needs kid like their fucking like fourth member of their friend like their mascot no like their best fucking friend because he's got these he's not just retarded he's magical he's from another planet and so he can like do this totally powers yeah it's really cool it's really fucking cool he gives them all powers too so you get to see them going about their lives with their powers and not doing well i think it begins when they when they skip forward to the adult versions one of the characters got a gun

in his mouth and he's like this is it here we go and his phone rings and it's one of his one of his other buddies it's like what you doing oh you shit, different day, just about to kill himself. Jesus Christ. Guilty pleasure movie. I like it a lot. Um, um, but I wouldn't recommend it as like,

if you value your two hours, you know, like, like you might walk away from this being like, how recommended another shitty fucking movie. Kyle, you're the only other person in the, in the world that likes dream catcher besides me.

I have not been able to find anybody else that likes this movie. I mean, look at the cast. Look at that cast. It's not popping out of my head right now, but you've got old black man with the spots on his face. Morgan Freeman. You've got alcoholic white man who's his buddy, who's known for abusing women.

What's his name? The short hair. Oh, my name is Earl. He's in it. You've got, earl he's in it you've got a you got yeah he's in there he plays a he plays a really good character um all the way through it good characters and um oh i think um john cleese might be the voice of the uh of the the alien he's like ah here we go again the memory warehouse like whoever that is doing that voice i think that might be john cleese um and uh but but i've got there's a quote from that movie that i use all

the time um whenever i think i was the the uh you're not jonesy i use that all the time no one has ever known what the fuck i meant no not once ever um but yeah bruce movies i know any movie that i like a lot all right so here's my conspiracy theory right okay yes the world the world about 10 days ago was in kind of a weird place right with uh uh i know turkey's had a bunch of issues there they they've got issues with greece and uh i was reading like a month ago about 10 reasons why turkey is about to invade Syria again. Oh, my God. And then I saw there's the whole issue where I believe Erdogan, whatever his name is, who rules Turkey, that guy who came over here and beat up U.S. citizens and then got away

with it. Remember when the protesters tried to protest against Erdogan or whatever and his secret service like field goal kicked Americans in the face. And we didn't do shit. There's a great picture of one of them with his boot drawn back to kick an American in the face. A big, fat, bald American crawling on the ground. And the Turkish Secret Service is about to boot him right in the mouth. There's a tipped rascal in the background. a tipped rascal in the background.

So anyway, that guy and his nation of Turkey were struck by a catastrophic earthquake. Two of them. I can't remember the... And immediately... Oh, and there's also the issue with the NATO thing, where they're holding

up the NATO charter of that other country unless a different country makes burning of the Quran illegal. And yeah, here he is. There's a different one. They did a lot of kicking. They did a lot of kicking. The guy just deadpan taking a photo on the right.

Like, I think I'll stay over here. Oh, not again. I don't know why I made him sound like that. So I think maybe the United States hit Turkey with a seismic weapon and caused this gigantic earthquake. Right. Destabilized the whole region. Killed all those people. And look what it's like right now.

Turkey and Greece have this pact where anytime there's an earthquake, fuck whatever's going on. Drop the swords. Drop the guns. Earthquake time. whatever's going on. Drop the swords. Drop the guns. Earthquake time. So that's engaged. Do we have seismic weapons? Maybe. There's a non-zero chance.

Also, the idea of them now invading Syria completely off the table. Not only is there a huge cleanup and people dying on the ground and rescue attempts needing to be made. Ergdenon, or whatever his fucking name is only is there a huge cleanup and people dying on the ground and rescue attempts needing to be made, Erdogan or whatever his fucking name is, is in a lot of trouble. They want to know where that $30 billion went that was meant for infrastructure for earthquakes. They want to know where that money

went. You know what his response was? He turned social media off in his country. All of it. During the earthquake rescue. So that's what's going on there meanwhile still meanwhile i doubt they're going to be so crotchety about whether it's legal to burn a quran or not because they're probably going to want as much support as they can get they don't want to be too crotchety right now with nato so that's my conspiracy theory that the united states was like

oh you're gonna cut we gotta get a good thing going over here with russia and ukraine and everybody's getting together. You're really flying the ointment. Maybe we'll just shake you up a little bit, make your buildings crush. That's what I think happened. Kyle, I'm going to add to this because if we do have seismic weapons, I think there is an aircraft that we use to deliver those seismic weapons called the TR-3B. Have you heard of the TR-3B before? I have not. No. You should Google it, but also

hopefully we can get a picture of it. TR-3B is basically this black triangle. It looks like kind of a stealth bomber, but it also looks like a UFO. And apparently it's a completely silent, magnet powered aircraft. Now you're getting into some sci-fi i was

talking about real stuff no no this no this is real this is real people i don't believe saying that this could be yeah but the picture says definite bs there's there's footage there's footage of this thing everywhere so there's actual videos of what looks like this this aircraft all over it's not just this picture. You're going to have to show me one of the pictures that don't look fake. Is there one of it flying maybe, like a good flying photo? Yeah, yeah. No, there is.

There is footage. Hopefully, like I said, hopefully Zach will be able to pull it up. Is it called the Black Manta? I don't believe that exists. You don't believe the TR-3B, but you believe that we have seismic weapons? Why would that be necessary? There it is. Look, right there.

I believe in seismic weapons because they've been long theorized, and Hugo Chavez, before he randomly died of cancer suddenly, accused the United States of having them. That was also right after he made the joke at the U.N. about George W. Bush. Remember, George W. Bush addresses the U.N., Hugo Chavez goes up next, Presidente of Venezuela, and he says, I can smell the sulfur is in the air. Satan just

walked away. I can smell the sulfur. Then he went into some anti-American rant. He came up with deadly cancer and died very quickly, not too long after that. But he had to accuse the United States of having seismic weapons. To stay in the vein of hypothetical and maybe real weapons, the first EMP device that was ever created, on purpose anyway, was a test they did where they took a high-altitude balloon and they floated, I think think a 1.6 kiloton device

up to about 80,000 feet, and then they detonated it. And then they measured the, uh, the, um, the, the electromagnetic pulse that was created when you do it so high, it's, uh, it's got an incredible, um, radius of, of impact as, as the distance from the device increases the intensity decreases so the the question would be like how seriously would an area be impacted but i thought that was interesting considering that we just had let that chinese balloon fly right over the goddamn country and uh and and i i watched a video about EMPs and the channel. It's rare that somebody speaks so over my head continuously throughout the video that I just sit there lost.

But it was mostly electrical equations, you know, about amperage. And like it was equations about how like the greater distance, the higher the amplitude or something. And he was out of my fucking wheelhouse. But the way he explained it was, yeah, it would be real bad news if a really strong nuclear device was detonated that high in the altitude. It wouldn't flatten buildings. It wouldn't irradiate people. It wouldn't do any of those things, but it would fry every electronic device underneath it. For

how far, we don't know. It would definitely cripple our entire infrastructure as far as like the power grid he explained how because um our power grid is set up with these long hundred mile long um power line structures those are perfect at catching these enormous long wavelength um energies coming out of the uh emp again over my stuff, but I got the gist of it. It sounded like, I don't know, real scary to let goddamn balloons float over the United States. We need a balloon police. We knew all about those balloons

long before anybody ever saw them. I'm sure someone had... Not according to us. By us, I mean the President and the air force like they they they've given press briefings when they're like yeah we we saw them come when they uh when they came into alaska and uh they just they decided to let it they just let it go yeah across the entire continent but uh yeah long ways yeah they also they also did just admit too that they uh there were those were happening all

throughout the trump administration yeah and trump didn't know about it but other people did so who knows if it reached like the the levels of cabinet that we see in the press or that's the other thing is like like here's a way that they constantly lie is they'll just move one word here or there. This balloon was enormous. This balloon was huge. This balloon. What were the other balloons like? Were they identical or were they like the balloon that I could buy online right now?

That's $50. That looks big, but like mylar. Right. Might be. I don't know. I was, I was looking at buying a balloon because I thought might be able to sell some advertising on a balloon these days. If we could get our own balloon up while

balloon is hot on the search results, we could put anything on the side of that thing that you want. Interested? Call. This is a huge error yeah yeah or just put a put a fucking quick link so people can donate to a fake charity the human fund for for people you know something like that whatever you do you know it's just george costanza nonsense um yeah i i hope that that's what happened though um have any of you watched daniel white's slapping competition on tbs oh yeah like like two 30 second clips of that and i'm like you know i got the gist like

there's not really any there's no lead up here there's no storyline you don't get any storyline at least like i literally watched a couple clips on twitter of them like standing there mean mugging each other and then they get palmed in the side of the jaw and one of them passes out or stumbles and everyone goes oh oh oh that stumbled them that stumbled and it's like no shit no shit like that's that's what we're doing here like or that's what you're doing it's stupid like i thought it would be kind of fun it's stupid can i guess it was a conspiracy can i guess the conspiracy kyle i don't have a conspiracy about slaps but but but i give us one give us one do it i do i've got one so obviously dana white has the slap the slap fight whatever uh league did you guys see the video of him getting slapped

and then slapped like do you think he made that video no you think he made that video with his wife no to promote his that is... The most guerrilla marketing? That is a weird freak coincidence, but that is a huge stain on him. I think it has a higher likelihood of being true than the U.S. detonating seismic weapons across Turkey. I don't know. They're both 50-50.

It either happened or it didn't. Well, all I know is that Turkey got hit by some earthquakes at a very opportune time, and they wouldn't detonate weapons across Turkey, Woody. They'd strike at the fault underneath Turkey, perhaps with some sort of weapon. Turkey has earthquakes so often they have

standing agreements on earthquake relief with Greece. I bet this is a once-in-a-generation earthquake. I haven't looked or anything, but I that level hasn't been seen in in 50 years or something it's one of those scales where like going from 5.1 to 5.2 isn't oh just a little bit more huh exponential yeah no that's 30 times more yeah and this was like a seven point it was it was seven yeah it was a magnitude seven yeah it was huge but it was it was fucking huge i don't know it's i saw some real sad uh shit out of that i don't you know i try not to look is that like like a lot of times like how bad the earthquake is and how bad the damages aren't too related it's like this was a bad earthquake sure but this is an entire country that's never heard

of rebar that's the real issue here you the concrete crunkles like dry sand or something 80 yeah well this is a good example the death toll the death toll in turkey is like 12 000 over 12 000 people died which is in there's higher than that it's insane like 18 or 20 or something i don't know it's it'll keep going i guess 50 like right away it's like dude that turkey's a big country um don't they have like they have one of the biggest armies in the world like i i think it's like the fifth in the world or something like that but iraq had like the third biggest army in the world so you know you see how that goes yeah where was i in the scrolls of time over here oh oh with the spanking comp uh the spanking competition that's what i want so what you got is you got a couple of hot ladies and they come out

they take turns smacking each other on the ass. Now, nobody gets brain damage in that. You just get a little red ass, and everybody walks. Oh, and Susan came. She is out. That's how you play it. Dude, the viewership on that, that's good. Zach, remove this. You slap until someone stops.

And I'm not making – this isn't something I've invented. It's already a thing. It exists? Yes, it exists. And we need to make this a professional sport, though. There's no reason for amateurs to be out there spanking each other. I think the Valentino Shevchenko The spanking

could outlast your hand. Yeah, it exists. Look, I'm not saying, I don't want to make it out like it's the mlb or something and there's like a commissioner and like really or anything i'm just saying that i have seen spanking competitions on a stage where like i don't know what he's linked if that's what i'm referring to but i've seen some some some ladies slapping each other on the ass you know in a competition and and uh i think the crowd cheered about who had the redder ass and that's

how you how you pick the winner it's like it's like on the megatron where it's like pump it oh like a meter going up yeah yeah no tell me you wouldn't pay i would you would pay for that you would pay and if you thought there might be a little all right if there's back burger i wouldn't i'll pay pay-per-view to watch that i will put down five dollars to watch a 90 minute ass smacking contest if if the ladies are all hot and there is at least a little back burger dude you can watch women fuck each other for it's just you can get free porno anytime you want and they're fully naked and they're having sex god damn it cool unless they're women who don't want to participate in porno remember what i said about live performances how anything can

fucking happen that's why pay-per-view makes money no one would pay to watch a fight the next day fuck you i'm paying to watch it while it fucking happens i'm hoping that g-string comes loose i'm hoping i'm hoping she slapped i'm hoping i'm hoping that that big lady over there with the beard likes to slap. He's just slapping women in the pussy. You know, the ref comes over before the fight and puts Vaseline on her pussy lips. Yeah. Yeah.

Checks for foreign objects. Let's see what you guys talk about. This is grossing me out. It's supposed to be sexual and sexy, but it's disgusting. No, no. It's hot. That's hot. A guy with his big fighter fingers and cauliflower ear and a whistle in his mouth goes over and slathers some Vaseline on her asshole pussy to keep it fair.

Yeah. That's not a regulation butthole, man. We're going to take that plug out of here. It's spanked. You could put a plug in there. I'd cut my hand and be like a foreign object. You got to be careful when you get a pinching situation with the plug and the and the flesh and the spanking you don't want you don't want

to do that whole plug could get in there if i hit it just right oh that's the worst i i think both of these sports sometimes they never come out yeah i agree i don't want to watch people do one action like even the world's strongest man stuff when it used to be on tv like the appropriate amount to digest that stuff is like one of those guys youtube channels who's like hey it's me brian shaw and today i'm gonna pick up a civic and throw it over there and it's like great do it you ever watch a whole world's strongest man competition really boring you haven't no one has i've tried you watch one thing and it's like now time for the car lift now time for the train pull and then something will come up like now the atlas stones

and it's like you led with a bus pull and a train pull and now rocks you've lost me like it's not that interesting throughout i've always thought bus and train pulls were hard to relate to like I don't know I don't know if I can pull a plane or not I know planes are lighter than you think they make them as light as they can on possible what depends on the plane Taylor okay that's a that's a good loophole there no Taylor no Taylor I don't think he could pull any plane. Prove it until it's on video. Not even a little one. No, you can.

That's how they put them in the hangar. You definitely couldn't steal them. They use go-karts to do that. Dude, I don't know if you've been up close to a regular Cessna that someone would own. Those things are cheap and light and fragile. I feel like I could break them. And bent. Do you know how you get them to fly straight? cheap and light and fragile i feel like i could break them and and like bent yeah like do you know how you get them to fly straight like i was kind of turning left so you just fuck with it a little bit and now it flies straighter this is normal i don't know about that you got people

out there bending wings to make their planes fly straight like the what is the back rudder called it's not a rudder is it air like a tail fin or the gobble foil the the horizontally oriented one that flaps up and down it's not a rotor the rudder the rudder i think it's the rudder the vertically oriented one that goes i should know this but i don't anyway yeah you really do just deform those things until it flies nice. You want to completely disprove a legend real quick, Taylor? You ever heard of the... I found this the other day. I love this shit.

You ever hear of the Kinderhook plates? The Kinderhook plates. I don't know what that is, no. All right, so you know the story of Joseph Smith and the Mormons, right? Yes. He dug up some gold plates. He translated the gold plates in a magic hat for another guy. The guy wrote the shit down and they made a whole religion out of that.

And anybody who's a Mormon, that's what they believe. And they believe those tablets were from God. And they revealed that, I don't know, Jesus came to America and the Indians are evil and the black people don't have souls. That sort of thing. Well, someone, and I believe the year was fucking 1843 and somebody was like, so far beyond like making new religion.

No, this is no, no, no. The Joseph Smith stuff is pre this. I don't remember. I don't know when Joseph Smith originally found the tablets, but in 1843,

someone was like, you know, I think he's full of shit. I'm going to make my own little golden tablets and let's get started. So they made these brass or bronze tablets, these round

thick chunks of metal, and had them inscribed with this nonsense googly gook they made up with just lines and dashes or whatever. And then they buried him and then he found him in front of some other people and went aha the last hail of joseph smith's god or whatever and then they sent him to joseph smith come follow me friends to this patch of recently tilled dirt so joseph smith gets his hands on him

and translates them into some more of his fucking nonsense holy shit really oh my gosh it's amazing so so so and and y'all still worship that guy and and they don't worship him well they kind of do they got statues of him and shit and they believe in that celestial temple bullshit he made up and stuff like i'm tolerant of most religions but jesus 1843 they proved proved this shit wasn't real. You know that old guy who used to go on talk shows and prove magicians and psychics were fake? James Randi, yeah. As soon as that happened, the guy walked away in shame and never went out and tried to make a string float

or figure out where a little girl was again, the huckster he was. He took his L like a man. This Joseph Smith guy got found out in 1840-fucking-3. Pre-slave? Pre-Civil War. It's pretty embarrassing. I just don't know how you become a Mormon today if you know that

happened then. If you know, like, after I lived in Idaho for a couple years and I met a lot of Mormons and saw their families and their communities and everything everything I can absolutely understand why people like stay Mormon they are like it's not a meme they are really kind

they have like huge families they are all obsessed with family like they spend so much time with their families they have really like like you know communities like they they they seem happy and they were all like they were all nice as shit they were all their version of heaven um will only include their

family that's and so like allowing someone into the family is a huge deal right like that's why that that that uh that that tv show um you're talking about the banner oh big love okay all right big love is beautiful you've never seen it that's about a man trying to trying to run three wives undercover because it's illegal in modern times right and uh and he's like he's he owns this not that undercover he's on tlc or something no no no it's a no it's a fictional show but like with it's on showtime it used to be it's it's a really good show it's a It's a polygamist who's keeping it on the down low. And he's like,

he's about a millionaire. He's got two big stores he runs. He's got, and he has to, because he owns three fucking houses. And he owns like a quarter of the neighborhood. And they're side by side. So in the backyard, all the backyards open up. So his massive

family. But it's a sweet story i've told before but i'll be quick um he he is a mormon he came from that lifestyle but he never was going to live it until his wife who he had two teenage children with gets breast cancer and is going to die and and she says because of the way our religion works the celestial temple i think that's what they call it. That might be from Star Trek, though. Stick with me here. It's close enough.

It's only going to be us. So first of all, you need a new wife. These children need a mother. I want a voice and who I'm spending eternity with. If you're going to marry a new woman and bring her soul up to heaven where I'll be waiting, I got to meet her first. And he's like, okay, well, polygamy it is.

So he finds a woman, marries her, brings her into the family and the wife goes into remission. And now we have two wives. And like a year goes by and he's like, hey, two's working great. I met this young lady named Marcy. She's 20.

And a real fireplug. And she's going to be taking that house over there. She's going to be great in the Celestial Temple. Trust me. But it's a good show. I like it a lot. Actually, Kyle's describing why Mormonism works. It's because these people who want to continue

to be mormon get to do whatever they want so then they keep doing it and of course they're going to continue to stay mormon regardless of whether or not somebody's proved it you miss so now i saw it so so i saw it as the most enormous responsibility a man can undertake that's how it's portrayed in the show as far as the main our main main guy is concerned i can't i think it's phil paxton i think it's phil paxton thank you yeah yeah um he's he this isn't a guy who's like oh i get to have sex with three women a day this is a guy who's like all right i gotta bring my egg game i haven't had sex with this one in three days i can't drag there. He's got to put on a fucking performance. All

of these women have needs of him. One woman has emotional needs. One woman has physical needs and one woman has financial needs. He's having to be that for each of them simultaneously while keeping everybody in a peaceful coexistence.

Meanwhile, there are five or six kids, five or six kids, little while keeping everybody in a peaceful coexistence. Sounds exhausting. Meanwhile, there are five or six kids, five or six kids, little kids. There's a baby. There's like, it is awful. And the financial woes are like, it's always a six-figure fucking problem, right? And this isn't like,

ah, well, stroke a check. It's like, you have put choke stroke a check it's like you have put us in a place yeah i don't know if i'll ever financially recover from this or the fucking i'm never gonna financially recover from this yeah no it's a i highly i do recommend that show that's a that's a lot better would you want more than one wife i know kyle wants zero right i i don't think even the mormons are off of that now you know that right no no not all of them are no no that's like the the main churches and even the main even in the show they are like excommunicates the the polygamist now which is kind of like you know how like catholics got rid of

like like purgatory or maybe they still do purgatory i don't know but they mostly kind of phased it out over like a thousand years like for mormons to just make that switch so fast is funny because like you can't look back and be like in the days of old sorry i'm like like you do like switching like legs that i've got like you know i got my like you know it looked like you plugged a usb cable into a 1600 year old scroll i don't know what i just saw yeah it's an e-scroll okay i'm sorry taylor i i was listening taylor i was listening i'm there with you i'm there with you yeah but that is like they definitely stay with it because their families are happy and they have good communities because like even i've told this before but like one i was at work and there was a mormon guy there who was very very mormon like

wore the special like undergarments were like shit like that it's really it's really like i thought it was gonna be something like sillier it's really just kind of like long johns and like a tank top do they need that to get in no it's like an extra thing i don't even understand it but like what like everybody else there was like grew up around mormons i didn't and so they were like oh tony over there like see see where he's wearing like a tank top it's not a tank top you can see under like his dress shirt obviously it's like that's like their special outfit and like these other guys weren't mormon but they grew up around mormons and so they kind of like poked at him about it like you're wearing your special underwear. You got your magic underwear on.

And this guy, like, yeah, like, like, and I weigh that. I was like, I guess,

I guess they just razz Mormons. Like that seems mean. And this dude responded like the most kill him with kindness dude, where he's like, you know, I totally get how stuff like this just seems ridiculous. And, and like kind of laughed about it.

And everyone was just like that. That's just what these, like this guy at least was and everyone was just like that that's just what these like this guy at least was like like just they're hard to deal with you can't really not like them they are every time i've experienced people like like when i met richard ryan for the first time i thought he might be one because he was so nice that's how fucking nice that guy is i didn't trust rich when i actually met him for the first time. I thought this motherfucker is trying to con me. Nobody is that fucking nice.

Dude, I did not trust Richard at all. I didn't want anything to do with him. Can he be like, Richard Ryan wants to do this and that? I'd be like, no, I don't trust that guy. He was too nice. He was too nice when he met me. Now, get to this he remembered my dad's name and asked how he was doing the fuck's that kind of power move he's like i met him at a party or something and he probably doesn't remember this but like he was so kind and so friendly and so like you know he's

a big guy too so he's just like he's you know when he shakes a big guy too. So he's just like, he's, you know, when he shakes your hand, he like gets close to you and you're like, like, it's, it's like this guy likes me a lot. He's giving the signals that he loves me. And I'm like, dude, I don't even know you yet. Why are you, how can you be this friendly? Cause I'm standoffish at first. You've got to like,

we got to get to know each other a little bit before I'm going to like, like loosen up around you maybe. And he's, he's already, he was just so goddamn friendly. And, and like, oh, I know someone could help you with this and i know someone could help you with that and it's like why are you trying to help me are you trying to fucking help me we're in competition you're the fucking marlins dude like what do you why would you want to help me why would you want to fucking help me and uh but but years later i like came to find out that like no he's like a, amazingly kind person.

Some people are just nice. He just met a new person and he was like, I'd like to help Kyle at anything he needs. Do you need some ice? Do you need a friend? Do you need a business partner? He's just up for anything. He's just a friend. 11 years. I'm still watching

for the long con. Maybe. You never know. No, Richard's the nicest guy I've ever met, I think. I'm still watching for the long con. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. You never know. No, Richard's the nicest guy I've ever met, I think. I really do think that. Outside of Mormons. The nicest non-Mormon I've ever met. Do you watch Last of Us, Bruce?

Of course I do. Of course I do. I'm so happy to see... everybody wants to be pumped that they made a show that's true to a video game okay that's almost wishing for too much it's incredible that they've made a something that's true to the video game they've made a quality product that's based on a game yeah be happy last episode did donkey dick. You didn't care for that, huh? Nothing happened. It was fucking 45 minutes

long and what'd they do? Drive 10 miles and find themselves in a pickle? I loved that episode. I loved it too. I thought it was great. What happened? Character building and then a really cool gunfight. Ellie killed someone? Yeah. She killed someone before apparently uh i i don't know i just felt like nothing fucking dude they hit a roadblock made the dumbest fucking decision absolute

conceivable by man which is a frustration of mine in television shows when when i'm 90 times smarter than the character in the show yep what do they do what was he's right there was a there was a traffic jam full of like blocking cars blocked up the highway yeah he's like well i guess the next best idea is to drive through the city with all the marauders and armies and ambush see i agree what do i agree yeah yeah you're right and uh and then they get in there the guy identifies an ambush and says i have an idea i better go towards this ambush right i'm not going to stop at this ambush i'm not going to reverse out of it i'm not going to leave the situation i'm going to go deeper into the ambush and uh then he loses his

car which yep we just spent the whole previous episode all teary-eyed all three of them into getting that car the first three episodes were about acquiring a goddamn battery for a car yeah that's right the first three episodes were about acquiring a battery for a car and then they drove the car for i don't't know, a couple of miles. Actually. They made it pretty far, right? To Cincinnati from Boston. They made, that's, I thought they made it. My complaint was I felt they were going too fast. I felt like, whoa, y'all are already out of Boston and like states away.

Like, like, like how many days have passed? He said they had to get gas every hour. So I was like, whoa, this is a 40 hour drive they're embarking on it's gonna take a while because there's nobody on the road also that's bullshit about what he said about the gas like like it's not just less effective and less fuel efficient now it's just it doesn't work anymore dude like it's dead they call it dead gas that's what they i i don't know like the chemistry behind it but when that gas becomes dead when it's just stored in a tank for too long and it's not a long time it's it's not years it's not a year i think it's months

it goes you know they say it's months but i've had months old gas that i use i just burn it out and it's not quite as good but you can smell it it starts to smell funny and it's definitely yeah and you're not the only one who's told me that in months it's dead. But because I have motors I don't use all the time, fuck, I'm going to fire up my lawnmower in the spring and it's going to be last year's gas. It'll work fine. Perhaps a fuel-injected modern car, computers and such. I believe a lawnmower will run on just about anything, right?

But it's like those humvees and those deuce and a halves you know those things will run on anything from like uh like um vegetable oil hydra hydraulic lighter fluid anything flammable not kidding pour you can pour uh high test alcohol in there uh i didn't know that anything old diesels like this is from 12 years ago, not even super long, would run on vegetable oil, hydraulic oil, hydraulic fluid. They'd run on all sorts of shit. Since then, they've become much more precision

machines because they improve the emissions on them. Now they need the proper fuel where they get all clogged up. How many gallons of duck fat per mile? Gallons of duck fat. It runs on whale blubber. He's got like a

six-wheeled vehicle. 100 miles to the gallon. The catch is it runs on orphan tears. I've got a whole factory of them. I was going to say, I got to get going.'m sorry okay now i wanted to go forever well i had a story for you guys about pka i'll tell it next time i'll tell next time

awesome it's gonna be 2025 2025 that's um we'll see in like three months or something i want to yeah just come on by either way uh thank you very much as always. It's always good to catch up with you guys. You guys are the best. Thank you. Sure, man. Glad everything's going well. Take care. We'll link your stuff in the thing. Yes. Check out Bruce Green. All those links below. Go send a load to him. All good. All right. Bye, Jets. Take care, Bruce.

We were talking before the show about beating up bad guys and women making sandwiches. Do you want to resume that topic? Yeah, sure we you weren't you weren't here you weren't here oh i wasn't paying attention then no no no you he wasn't he had stepped away to pee it was like before the show oh okay yeah what's the deal what are we talking about i guess kyle saw a youtube short do you want to set up kyle instead of me yeah um i't know. I saw one of those YouTube shorts, and there was an argument between a guy and a girl. And he said, making the sandwiches is one of your jobs. It's your job. I don't make sandwiches.

And she's like, really? You think that one of my duties, one of my responsibilities is to make you sandwiches? And he said, if someone's breaking into the house in the middle of the night, whose duty is it to go down there and fight that man hand to hand? I'm going to need some sustenance. If I'm going to win, she's got to fuel them up for battle. And I thought that was pretty funny. Um,

in my own personal life, I don't feel the need to separate the, uh, the sandwich making specifically into like gender roles I wouldn't want some dumb woman making a bad sandwich for me if I'm being honest it's just you'd rather make your own sandwich just the way you like it

I make amazing sandwiches I don't want to go into a whole thing about sandwiches I just train the sandwich maker until she makes it the way I like it and then the bruises heal up and nobody's the wiser. I'm fine with you going into a whole thing about sandwiches if you want.

Oil and vinegar, man. That's the secret. That's how Subway and all those sandwich shops and salt and pepper. I had never put salt and pepper on a goddamn sandwich in my life. Not even on your tomato sandwiches with tomatoes on there? Well, I've told you how I treat my tomatoes. I cut them just so with my Japanese knife.

And then I place them on paper towels and sprinkle them with salt. And then sandwich them between another paper towel. You are on the tomato. And then I repeat that process again for the other side. Thereby drawing all of the liquid out with the salt. And so that way you don't get some sloppy ass, like tomato type situation. And now the, the,

the tomatoes are salted, which you're going to want. Of course you got your head on straight with sandwiches. I bet you make it. Goddamn right. What were we talking about before sandwich? No, this wasn't talking about gender roles.

It wasn't about the sandwich construction at all. Well, it was, it was, it wasn't literally about sandwich constructions, but, but, but making sandwiches was a part of it. It was, hey, is it a woman's job to make a sandwich as much as it is

a man's job necessarily to go down and fight the intruder that's breaking in through the window? Both jobs should be by who's better at it. Whoever's better at making sandwiches makes the sandwiches. Whoever's better at fighting the criminals. So you're saying the man has to do everything all the time. If he better at fighting the criminals. So you're saying the man has to do everything all the time.

He is the better culinary man. You're setting yourself up for a rough time. That's the problem, Taylor. You're going to get fucking Ray Romano'd on. Who washes the clothes? I'm just going to play incompetent. So it turns out... I don't know. I'm not good at sandwiches

or laundry. I'm'm getting made fun of by my wife who's too hot for me again my brother who must have had a different father because he's seven foot one the thing so i have a thing about this so like one time my wife said that i wasn't helping around the house enough and i was like that's not true one time appreciate right straighten her out you just don't appreciate the things i do and while that's true the next example i brought up was stupid as fuck i was like how do you think the golf cart stays filled with gas like do you think that happens on its own no i'm out there maintaining all these things and you're not even watching guys that takes 30

seconds every six months that is like a nothing job what happens if it doesn't get done i guess how many things are they can't over to it a man's life a man's life is a series of things that take 30 seconds that he has to do every six months but they just roll over every day so there's more of them you're always checking a light bulb and fucking twisting a knob and greasing a fucking hinge and if these you're not there every day twisting the light bulb and wiggling the wire oh is that starting to fray better get ahead of that oh is that is that is that eroding there but the water spigot fills up better save the foundation oh is that a water leak like you're the guy doing all of those things falls in without you i wish that i had made that argument when i went on the transamerica trail that long vacation

from like two years ago i came back the pool fucking leaked it had turned green the tractor which i guess someone else mowed hydraulic fucking fluid all over the stable dripping not working like there was a big hole in the yard from where the tractor tire dug itself three feet deep because dumb fucks don't know you don't operate a tractor in the mud who doesn't know that yeah and like i could go on and on and on the whole place fucking collapsed because i wasn't here twisting the hinges applying the oil etc but that example on its own wasn't a good one and i also think that when guys bring up how they battle intruders, so you,

the least you can do is show your appreciation for all this. I'm almost 50. I've, well, when I was a teenager, maybe you could argue I battled an intruder once, but basically I don't do it. It doesn't happen.

This is a make-believe problem. It's a hypothetical problem. It ain't make-believe. It happens every second of every fucking day. A man has to protect a woman. It's how that goes. You're almost never... Dude, if you're getting beat down in public,

a man is going to step in to help you. You know if you saw someone getting the shit kicked out of them, and it's like some one-on-one situation, you're like, he's gonna kill him. We're gonna stop that guy. If the three of us are coming along and someone's being murdered we will stop it that will not happen if three ladies come along they might they'll probably record the shit all right like it's it's if if you're in trouble if you're in trouble you want to do to come come get you out of it because

because man i always it maybe it's sexist to say yeah it is sexist and i mean it with the firefighters jesus if i'm in this place and a beam is on me and the smoke is oh i can't take it much longer if i hear a lady's voice downstairs i'm just gonna take a deep breath just because because if i can't get this shit off me there's no chance she can i throw 250 up like. If I can't get this off me, how's she going to... Oh, maybe she can deadlift the shit. Actually, get up here, honey. No, but you can't deadlift your mangled and broken body under a beam like out of there.

You need a big, strong, handsome, strapping guy. Fucking sweaty. I want Steve Amy Ochich to fucking kick that door down, and I want him to take me in his big, powerful hands. But he'd be so gentle. You know he would. I know technically he only needs to be strong, but I want him to be chiseled, too.

It's Steve Amy Ocic. He's been cutting weight for a fight. If you see... Let's be fair here. He's been bulking up. He's got a cut for 265 now. Kyle, answer this. If you're pinned under the beam yeah it's not just

because i'm establishing it's not just a woman thing for you if you you would be happier to see steep a miochic shirtless glistening come through than a big fat you know five foot five man schlub who's in he's like like kind of like rolling out of his outfit you just want the strongest they're definitely yeah but it has to be a man because you know there just aren't enough strong good i'll say i'll say this i would i would prefer that it it be a man though like if someone's gonna like tear through a burning fucking wall to save me it's gonna be a dude that does it he's gonna come out i'll scar it up and be like yeah but i saved him like i just don't feel that i just don't trust a woman to to get all fucked up saving my life in emergency situations i think and i think hiring represents true i just we we talk about this hypothetical

and i think we're being asked i'm being an asshole right now i feel like because i'm talking about a hypothetical that doesn't fucking exist i think so because i'm making this straw man argument right now i just realized when's the last time they sent some dainty bitch up a flight of stairs to save somebody and everybody burn alive i'd have heard about that so i guess that's the you probably wouldn't there it's the gender it's the gender roles that we were on to begin with and it's whether it's someone's duty to make the sandwiches and i think in some relationships that yeah it probably should be somebody's duty to make the goddamn sandwiches and somebody else's duty to do another thing but the way i've but you know the way i've always preferred to do things is

there's a lot of shit that i want to do myself like i want to cook my own meals most of the time like like so it's i'm not looking to find some lady to do those things for me washing clothes would be nice though clothes and dishes those are the things i don't do and floors and windows really cleaning in general you don't you don't like i i don't mind cleaning the kitchen at all i hate when there's dishes in the sink whoever cooks doesn't clean that's that's fair that's that's that's how i see things i don't i hate that division of labor yeah because i want whoever cooks to consider the cleaning task right i don't want you just using like 17 bowls to mix well it's your it's your wife it's not hitler

i will use every mixing oh i think the little spatula for this you could have used one spatula all night. How many spoons can you use? Rinse them off! I've always felt like you need to incentivize the chef to make less of a mess. Yeah, yeah. Look, that's how I've traditionally done things.

That's being courteous, yeah. I'll often cook like a uh like a big thanksgiving meal and i know my mom would be in there like let me let me help and i'm like yeah go right ahead like i feel that's fair like like fucking clean up in there you know my back hurts when i cook like a big meal like that like i'm more sore from that than like a hard workout because it's like is it called isometric when you're putting yourself in weird positions, like holding weights? That's what cooking is like.

Isometric means you're pushing on something but not moving it. Am I right? I have no idea. I don't know. It sounded right. Iso is in there for isolation, right? And metric for measure, a means of measurement, a scale of measurement. I don't know. During isometric exercises,

the muscle doesn't noticeably change in length. The joint affected doesn't move. So you're like balancing. Okay. You could be balancing, like maybe holding a stress position, like the top of a pushup or the bottom. You could be pushing against a wall.

Yeah. Shit like that. As I said, those suck. That's the easiest looking workout that you start it and you're like oh man this this is i'm on the other side and grip i've never been in a like i've done like jujitsu and stuff and they'll put like 18 people on the wall we all do wall sits i win every fucking time for my entire life i've always won wall sits and people are like dropping off and i'm like

this isn't even hard yet you're done i i am better than you would guess at wall sits and i don't know i bet i bet you could knock out a two minute wall sit and you wouldn't be like you wouldn't stand up and be like oh that was a good one you'd be like i could have done four i i sometimes cheat a little bit and use like the stickiness of my back like you know like hang on it a little like so it's not just pure legs but uh maybe no one else is doing that i don't know the world record is gonna be something ridiculous what's the world record for the wall 18 hours or something it's gonna be some guy in india did five hours But yeah, I'm not exaggerating. I've literally never lost a wall sit. Woody,

do you know how to win those grip competitions where they, you go to like the circus or the fair and you have to hang on to the pole? I've seen why they're so hard. And I know maybe you're referring to the grip where you hold your own thumb. It is. Yes.

Yeah. I still don't know that I could do it. Cause I look at people who seem to be way more athletic than me who lose. So it's, it, you lose so it's it you know it's your lower body's so goddamn strong i mean that's what makes you good if those wall sits uh i've never used one of those for 11 hours twisty bar and they lock the combo 11 hours that's the world record 11 hours 16 minutes access pal probably knows this but like that

bar spins which makes it way harder to hold on to you can't just use what i talked about like the the stickiness of your hand it'll roll you off and uh and also the tube is a little bigger than you would think it is like you grab it and you're like ah i'm instantly aware of the scale i know yeah it's pretty and it's too hard to get the grip on i want yeah so you wrap over your thumbs and it locks it that allows hard to get the grip on I want. Yeah, so you wrap over your thumbs and that allows you to lock into a grip that a fit person can hold for a minute. And kids, apparently, they just knock it out then.

Once you teach a kid that grip, like a little girl or something, knocks it out every time. Yeah, because they're so light. Yeah, and they've got grip strength. I mean, kids can grab stuff proportionately. Yeah, that makes sense. Catholic Church is based on it. I've never tried those things. yeah and they've got grip strength i mean kids can grab stuff up you know proportionately yeah that makes sense catholic church is based on it i've never tried those things oh jesus indeed

like uh it's like those fair uh the what are those ladders at the fair that flip you oh i don't know but i i yeah they're like twisted on the front and back on a swivel and they want to make you go upside down it's like it's attached at one point another side that's another one that like you you pass it at the renaissance fair or whatever and you're like i feel like i could do this but i know i can't the carny will demonstrate it by like scout scouring what i'm at scurrying up and down the rope ladder so easily and you're like, if that Cardi can do it, surely maybe college will help me. That guy was smoking a cigarette while he did it.

So I think I could do it. I don't think the eye patch is for the Renaissance Fair. That's him. I saw him. You don't know Steph Curry, but he's the best three-point shooter to have ever lived. A Nazi. Sympathizer. I don't know where that came from.

Oh, that's Kyrie Irving. Yeah, that is. He is. But I saw him at the fair trying to do the three-point shots. Now, this guy routinely hits them from half-court like unguarded, and he couldn't nail the three at one of those fairs because the hoop was just

about the same size as the ball well and it's uh they're 11 feet they set it far back and they make it taller and like so it looks like it's the same but it's not so like him in particular he would be the worst at that because he's trained his muscle memory for a 10 foot hoop in that distance and it's literally like made to trick him you know i still feel like the best three-point shooter to have ever lived would be better than average at that but i mean like i do see what you're saying you know like he's not accustomed i don't know how it works like does he look at it and then shoot it where it is or like you know what I'm saying? It's muscle memory. To him, he's just shooting the way he would from that distance toward a basket.

Like, and putting the amount of pressure necessary to get it into a 10-foot hoop, like there. But because it's a cheatery. Or is every shot different? You know, sometimes he's falling back a little bit. Sometimes he's jumping higher. Sometimes he's lower. Sometimes he's tired. And his body's just doing a whole bunch of things to make it work. But it's all to the same.

Well, clearly he wasn't very good at it. A 10 foot hoop. Yeah. I guess the evidence is on Taylor's side. He's also not a very good basketball player right here. I heard he was pretty terrible. Yeah, that's true. I heard he's not even good.

They said his stats were real bad. He's a left wing or something. Yeah. And LeBron, he's not even that good. Points don't even mean anything anymore. They can't play defense, I've been told. That's actually true. So, yeah, I'm right.

Right again, on a good streak. What'd you say, Kyle? It's like, whose line is it anyway? Yeah, everything's made up. Everything's made up. Except it's not funny. It isn't as funny. It's Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles.

The basketball world was just shaken up by major trades, and I don't have anyone to talk to about it on this show. Nope. It's made ESPN unwatchable the last couple of days because I want to see

NFL stuff. Because, you know, I don't know. Are you allowed to say the Super Bowl? They make it seem like it's like the N-word. Yeah, they have to say the big game. Yeah, the big game. You getting ready for the big game? Indeed.

Yeah, I expected to be lots of big game coverage. And it's like, oh, they traded Jimmy for 87 first round picks and 37 second round picks. Uncontested picks. And it's like, I just don't care. I just don't care about that silly game that y'all use too many players for.

That game that y'all have mastered. Of all the complaints. That's a stupid fucking game. It's like Furio, that stupid fucking game. I just can't. Anyway, just ruined ESPN. I guess

they traded two players and so many men's lives were built around that shit. Kyrie Irving and KD. Kevin Durant. I don't know why I lost that. They're both the same.

No. And they're both really, really good. And they were on the same team. And one is an absolute head case who thinks the earth is flat. And he's a Nazi sympathizer. The other is seven foot tall really good at shooting three pointers which is a neat combo it's really hard to guard a seven foot guy after he jumps in the air but um uh he's fragile as they call him the slim

reaper which is a legit nickname but uh like if he jumps and lands on taylor's foot he's out for the next six months you know he's broken his achilles is torn and all this shit so uh um he got hurt his team started losing and then the best player left quit and he's like well if he's quitting i'm quitting and the nets are like fuck it i give up just give us some shitty players and a bunch of draft picks we'll try again in six years like i don't follow basketball at all other than like the little things i'll see here and there but there are no other professional sports that are like as run by the players seemingly where they'll just come out and be like i'm not gonna play basketball anymore until i can play with my friend tony on

the pelicans and they're like please we signed you to a quarter billion dollars. And he's like, no. I won't play that. No one in the NFL or NHL would have the balls to do that, I wouldn't think, because they would shut you down and be like, oh, that's fun. Do you think you're a really good tackle in this league? I'm interested to follow your

career in the Canadian League. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. That shit would not fly. They'd be called a bad team player they'd say we do not want this person in our locker room you know causing dissent you know getting people upset with our coach you know seems like a culture problem like you're 100 right last year was ben simmons ben simmons was too sad to play basketball so he missed the entire fucking season and everyone even the other players were like you're ruining it we're all rich what you're gonna change the way the collective bargaining agreement works you're fucking with

our money play the game and he's like nah 40 million and i'm too sad to play basketball sorry bro i'm not feeling that guy yeah that's ridiculous how selfish can you be well yeah you know you're totally right like everybody else in the league is like hey you're like you're actively fucking us right now and to to respond that way to all of your co-workers that you have to like be friends and teammates with ideally for a good environment to just say f like f off like that's insane a player's ability to just fake an injury or claim a mental injury i guess uh is to be stripped away in the next bargaining agreement. I'm pretty sure because now I can name four players who've done it and it's not good.

It's not good for the game. It's not good as a fan. I hate it. Yeah, especially faking injuries like that. That's shitty. I think every sport deals with that leading up to the playoffs where they'll be like, oh, kane he didn't catch that bottom stair right and so he's not going to play for the next four months like okay well that's kind of cheating isn't it like it's in a way just rest up players in basketball this is the thing they call it load management and the guy's like i'm not hurt i'm not

a problem but i can tell you that if i play 82 games this year, I'm going to be fucking a little injured in six ways for the playoffs. So why don't I play 50 games? We'll enter the playoffs to lower seed or two, but I'll be my best me. And they do that. That's okay because that's like managing it within the team. I guess it's specific to hockey because it's like they have a loophole where like in 2015,

Chicago Blackhawks were like, we're going to make the playoffs and we're one of the best teams in the league. We're going to take the best player on earth right now, Patrick Kane, and his $11 million he makes a year and he's injured for six months, which allows them to put him on long-term injured reserve, which opens up $11 million of cap space, which makes them sign $11 million more of players. There's no cap in the playoffs. So then they bring the best player in the world at that time back on to where they're like like so like that's like cheating tampa wasn't injured years ago no it was like a total

like laugh like everyone knew that it was one of those injured it was a real injury but it was one that's like a couple weeks a couple months like it wasn't eight months it wasn't the whole season nikita kucherov the lightning did this with him where he had he had to get a surgery and they delayed when he got the surgery by like six months he could have gotten it right away but they were like oh we're gonna wait and look at different options and they waited and got it just in time so he'd be like back to play two games for the playoffs and then he was over a point and a half per game throughout the playoffs thank god he was okay like yeah point and a half per game throughout the playoffs. Thank God he was okay.

Like, but yeah, that shit, that's enough. Oh, we're talking about hockey. Uh, very briefly sports trades.

Tara Senko was traded today. What? To the New York Rangers. Yeah. The blues have been still God awful. He's still good. Yeah. He's still a solid player,

but his contract's up and I don't think we could afford whatever his next contract would be, nor do they want him. They want to take it in the younger direction. And so they traded him to the New York Rangers, got a couple picks and some stuff like that back. So I guess I'm pulling for the New York Rangers in the playoffs this year because I'd like to see Tarasenko win again. Don't you want them to lose so you get better picks no the the further they go the better our pick would be i think

right because they're like conditions usually they have conditions where it's like because like one of they got a first round pick and then they have a conditional fourth round pick and then a couple of guys and the way it is is like all right you get the fourth year after next but if the rangers make the playoffs this year it becomes a third round pick instead of a four and then a couple of guys. And the way it is is like, all right, you get the fourth year after next. But if the Rangers make the playoffs this year, it becomes a third round pick instead of a fourth. And so if the trade, it's like, okay, if this trade works out for you, you got to make it a little better for us too. Like a condition, which I don't think he was going to resign with us anyway.

And the Blues need to rebuild or retool or whatever. So we'll see. They've sucked this year fucking i might be missing some examples but in basketball usually goes the other way they're like all right taylor you get our first round pick however if the pick is one two three or four fuck it wait another year we're not giving it's a protected pick if it's really really good you can pound sand so you you kind of want them to like i don't want you to do really well and give me like a 20 second pick or a 30 second pick like that guy won't even be very good

yeah that makes i they do that as well like well they'll have protected picks where it's like if we actually if madison square garden implodes and we have to forfeit the rest of the season you know then you don't get our top first round pick but you get our second first round pick or whatever you know because they have two. Anyway, that's enough hockey for the rest of the year. Sorry, I've been everywhere. All right, so you guys know. My topic's not great.

We can do yours. So you know the Chinese-Indian border they have is packed to not use guns. They can only use melee weapons, right? I know where this is going. So the Chinese came out with their new melee weapons this week they got these spiked fucking like clubs halberds they look incredibly intimidating they're these big and they're like in formation with them and i thought man india but if you can find the picture please show it i can't find it i've looked everywhere but india has their has their answer um in his answer to the chinese halberd

oh i'm an electric halberd really look at this that's really so that is a a spiked metal club with a tech with like stun gun um capabilities so like there's a twitter video that i could oh shit where it goes and like electrifies anything that you hit with it, I guess. Yeah. So chivalry, fucking chivalry, too, is coming to the Indian border. I'm I'm excited to see the the gameplay, the gameplay, the graphics are great. And for anybody talking about like they they they disagree china and india on their border and so they had these clashes between troops on like these dirt mountain roads where they beat

the dog shit out of each other with clubs and fists and rocks and sometimes there'll be a vehicle involved like trying to push one side away and and they literally be i mean you see there they're ready for a stick fight. Do they beat each other to death? Or is it... I don't know if they've had deaths. I would imagine that it's not good for either side to admit if somebody got beaten to death, right? I imagine there's a lot of bruising.

Oh, a ton of bruising. I've seen blades, like big blades and stuff, too. I saw some medieval-looking halberds. It's basically a pole with that cres crescent moon shaped blade on the end that you sort of jab and sick with they say no guns but they say anything about lasers yeah or bombs landmines oh we find loophole in all agreements they're grenading each other. Have you seen the... We've seen the India-Pakistan border

where they, like, dance at each other really angry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The mustaches. Yeah, they, like, stomp really hard and, like, knees to chest. Like, yeah, I'd fucking take... Like, I'm all about marching. And it's, like, a whole show.

I don't think they're actually angry at each other. I think it's kind of the same... Like, I don't think the guards themselves are, like, angry at each other. I bet it's kind a whole show i don't think they're actually angry at each other i think it's kind of the same like i don't think the guards themselves are like angry at each other i bet it's kind of like those guards in uh england who just have to wear the hats and like those guys are angry you've seen those videos of the uh yeah the king's guards the king's guard were like they're not allowed to leave the path they're on they have to like walk in specific paths so like if you stand in front of them they'll they are they they're supposed to just like walk through you and just hope that They have to walk in specific paths. So if you stand in front of them, they're supposed to just walk through you and just hope that some Brian Shaw-sized guy doesn't stand there. Oh, they'll fuck you up.

Those guys have guns. Yeah, but they're not real guns. They're in England. Those are real guns. They've got fucking bayonets on them. So they can stab you if they need to. Why is that a limit? They're like, Kyle, their machine guns have bayonets.

I know, they're so much more likely to use that first. Oi, governor, get out of the way. I'm a little poking sheet, eh? Have you seen the videos on Reddit? I bet Kyle has. Where the Queen's Guard yells at the tourists. Queen's Guard. Yells at them? I didn't think they could talk

oh you haven't seen this they stand aside for the king's god yeah they'll like a tourist will want a picture with the king's guard and now if you like wet willie the king's guard or something i'm okay with you taking a rifle butt to the nose yeah that's really i get it but if you're posing with them i look at them and i as a social moron think like i couldn't tell where the line was either one person takes a selfie and they totally get away with it another person takes a selfie but they like touch him on the side of the shoulder in the barely like inconsequential way and he's screaming hands off the king's guard like pissed off mad and I'm like

obviously I punch cops yes have you ever touched a cop would you dare walk up to a policeman and touch him got your gun just kidding so don't go over there and touch that motherfucker I know that i'm saying you on tv these people in their big fuzzy hats and silly red coats and horses and whatever

straight out of the 1200s in front of a buckingham palace need to understand that they're not soldiers although they say they are. They're tourist attractions. The changing of the guard. I don't know their actual rank. I do like that it's kind of whimsical. By imagination, she's about to get fucked up. She has grabbed the horse's reins. She's getting yelled at. She has the horse's reins.

Wait, are you sure? I don't see. Yes. That's what he screams at her. Don't touch the reins. He's just jerked them away from her. I don't think she's holding the reins in this picture, but I have seen the video Kyle's

talking about. I've seen it too, yeah. Is it the same woman? Is that a sword? They all look the same. I do like his headwear. That guy looks like he must be a high-ranking member. Oh, she's touching the reins kind of in this picture. Do you see it? Well, I wouldn't touch the reins of someone else's horse. She's pulling the

horse's head toward her for the goddamn picture. And this guy's like, I'm the fucking captain of the guards you're gonna grab bessie this is this is she she i guess they have to like cane her or whatever they do over there but like yeah that's unacceptable i don't you i don't you just don't touch people in public no that he trampled her with the horse and she died that's why that's been such a big story yeah and like is was he wrong instant karma yeah yeah no he's still there he's still there screaming at the next person who dares to he like who wants to go next who wants to go next you touch the horse of death he's got a taste for it now yeah that would be can you imagine being like waking up in the morning like another day at work another day of the old grind wake up soldier is he talking to his heart

no talking to himself in the mirror putting his big fluffy hat on. He's like, a whole day of guarding Chinese tourists. Buckling that chin strap up tight. A whole day of guarding myself again from being touched in public. Ah, the honor of my esteemed and historical established institution.

Do you think that works? Being an attractive woman, having to stand there as the king's guard, I think that's a good... Being a hot woman walking down the street simulator. Everybody's bothering you. Everybody's yelling shit at you, trying to fuck with you, wanting to take pictures at you when you're not looking, getting a little

too grabby. And then when you stand up for yourself, you're the crazy one. Yeah, that's what it's like being a hot lady walking down the street or something like that. I don't know. I see a lot of Instagram hoes. They're like bullying men out of gyms. They're like, can you believe that they're staring?

They're staring when I do my deadlifts at my. What are they staring at? Well, my pussy lips. They're staring at my pussy. So I was doing my butthole clenches and at the point of fitness dude and this pervert stared at my butthole i was i was winking with it and he kept looking it's become like a full circle thing right so first you have the female tiktokers and they're in the gym and guys are leering at them and they catch them on camera staring at

their butt and such and then that gets views and views and views and views so now you have female tiktokers trying to create that situation right now they're doing their fucking the leg exercises where they spread their pussy lips and then the deadlifts and whatever and they're almost begging for attention doing deadlifts in really hot fucking outfits and it's a whole thing cool cool how hot like real thin stuff huh i'm into it so revealing but then they took it to the next level where they start like trying to manufacture it and accuse guys of leering who aren't leering guys who are just doing their own thing in the gym and they're like look at this fucking creep behind me he's loading bars onto his own plate he couldn't be more innocent you know

he's drinking water he's not even looking at or if he looks at her it's like very briefly like you would any piece of equipment or person that just exists in your space. And they're trying to act like they're the victim. So now I see guys mocking girls like this because they took the trend too far. And they're like, I don't know, hanging upside down from the lap, pull down, doing hip thrusts, like shaking their dick around.

And they're like, stop looking at me. I'm not a sex object. I'm not a sex object. I'm doing my penal stretching and yes i do do it in the locker room that's what i identify as when i'm penal stretching man i i don't want any of that i don't want any of that i didn't like it when there were like home gym master race when uh whenever there'd be like hot instagram girls in the gym with their

fucking loser boyfriend over there zooming in on their clam, I'd just be like, man, you're just distracting. You're just fucking distracting. I'm here to do a job, and you're just over there distracting me with your clam. And just stop. Just stop. Get out of here. Get out of here with your clam and your pussy and your dicks and your... That was another...

Your form-fitting leggings and your leggings with your goddamn shirt and glasses go to the gym at noon see who's see who's there at fucking like 2 p.m on a tuesday it's uh it's people who sell their clam um so i've been running a long con on jackie and i'm fucking i think it's the greatest thing ever so here's the deal jackie's been working out in the gym for like a year and a half now or so and getting some results uh her back in particular was really impressive to me i'm into it like when she does one of these things you see all like the muscles on her back and stuff so i praised her i'm honest about it and i'm like dude your back is looking great now it is fucking hot and there's certain positions you can imagine so she responds to this praise right now

you know how maybe some exercises you do every day like as part of your warm-up she's doing face pulls every fucking day just like working back, like going for more praise and positive. Just like this is part of her thing. Like, man, I guess I have a good back. Woody loves my fucking back. I'm doing face pulls five or six times a week. And I see what's happening here. And I'm like, baby, your ass is looking good.

Those squats are working for you. This is all true. This is like working for you. This is all true. This is like eight months ago I started doing this. And she's like, really? And I'm like, yeah. Now the praise on this one was actually premature, but now she just squats five or six days a week. And it's coming together, boys.

My plan has worked. I'm a fucking husband genius. I love this. This is great.lighting your wife into gaslighting your wife into getting a bigger plumper ass for you this is so high t this is sigma male sigma male behavior gaslight your wife into kicking some metal in her ass with squats. Not only that, he's been putting a little bit of testosterone in her food every day.

You like my ass, Woody? You little bitch. Like this. She like punches you on the arm and it really hurts. Catch her waxing her upper lip. Get out. That's like a TikTok trend maybe. I've seen on YouTube anyway where you roll her shoulders forward and be all dainty.

And then she'll take off the cumbersome jacket she's wearing and throw up a fucking double bicep. And she's yoked. So yoked, you know she's on testosterone yoked. Yeah. Not a realistic level for women. I saw it on Netflix. I can't remember what it's called. But it's called – there's some stupid show on Netflix with strong women doing shit in a reality show.

They're all juiced. Is it like 100 top athletes yes it's something like that i just saw all that existed exactly i saw like the banner at the top and there's a lady doing like there's a lady with big veiny delts like like this big juiced up bitch and it's like man i really don't like seeing when women like use steroids like that shouldn't be encouraged that's that's so unhealthy i just feel like that look shouldn't be in that should be that look should be frowned upon people should say hey that doesn't look really attainable unless you've abused yourself to get there maybe we need to look at the the self-harm you're doing

to to look like this you gotta liver the size of a holiday ham. And look, you can make the argument that it's not good for men. It's a fucking... Yeah, I think a lot of doctors do. No, I don't think so. No. With like Trenum? Well, it's showing too much care.

Okay, well, that's for horses. They're here to make you come, Kyle. We're not concerned about their long-term health. I'm concerned about their clitoris outgrowing my cock. That would be embarrassing. And like a hand job. I'd be, you know, the Cal Callist.

No. Oh my God. I used to fuck this stripper and her hands were really rough from the pole and it was always like, oh, stop! Too sensitive! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Too whoa because it's not a two by four because it's because her hands like have so much texture it's like she's it's like somebody's grabbing you with a leather glove yeah it was off she's got a lot of purchase to her grip when she grabs your lock that's what i call true grip oh my god

those fucking calloused mitts she had from working that pole so i watch tv with jackie every night and as you know the guy that runs the plex server watches the show and if we talk about a show it shows up on plex i pop on plex and it's like recent additions it was fuck i want to get it exactly right true grit was on the list. We talked about, uh, both true to get to where on the list. Um, fuck.

There was all the TV shows we talked about. He added like five things from the most recent episode within 24 hours that we had talked about. That guy's awesome. He's so awesome. Share me his details after this. I think he may have messaged me, but like, you know,

I wanted to make sure before I sent someone any like information that it was a decent human being. Right. I honestly can't help you. I did it years ago, but Zach can. So I can get you help just as well. I'm a procrastinator.

I keep forgetting to do that, but that would be nice. I'm done with payback. Wild, wild West, both true grits. and then the rest are not from our show i don't think babylon's that's hilarious he threw wild wild west in there for yeah we just joking about how horrible that movie yeah and he's like wild wild west not

on my collection i gotta get it in here for the fans of the show i mean if you want to see selma hikes ass well first of all, Selma Hayek's done full frontal. I'm pretty sure there's a scene where she's in the water where she does full frontal. It's a little blurry, but if you want to see a great shot of her ass, it's wild, wild West. It's worth suffering through that film. Oh, I always think of,

I never really think of Will Smith as one of those body transformation actors, but he totally is. He's one of the best. I, I watched some clips from uh i am legend and from ali recently he is so fucking big and i am legend he's doing like chin ups which is like the best way to look good but still like he looked big and and and it seemed like he had went through maybe those two films were near each other and that's why he was so fit, but he was shirtless for like 10 seconds. And it's like,

dude, did you work out for a year on steroids for 10 seconds of footage? Cause that seems like body double territory. Interesting. That is a big CGI show. So I'm always suspicious, but sometimes I'm falsely suspicious. I was wrong about Beth Dutton in Yellowstone.

That's her body. I looked into it. So I might be wrong here, too. That's all. Love that. I knew those were her titties because they're not great titties. That's how you know. It was the butt in particular that I thought might have been a double.

It was a great butt, I thought. I thought it was a top to your ass and that it just happened to belong to a main character. Um, and that you never saw her face in the butt and like the same shot. I was like, uh, suspicious,

but I think I was glad you brought this up. This, this leans right into another old topic from Kyle. So Jonah Hill has a Netflix. I love this. Oh man. I can't wait to see what happens next. I won't guess.

He told us not to, but I have thoughts. No, I'll tell you after the show. So Jonah Hill did this movie where he's trying to be accepted in his girlfriend's black family. I guess that this is the... I'm going to give you the broad strokes. And the idea is he's a goofy white dude trying to... Also, he's Jonah Hill. Trying to prove to them that he's you know good enough to marry their daughter dealing with i'm sure lots of like racial issues and stuff they get to the end

everybody's accepting they fall in love big romantic kiss as they're either getting engaged or married i don't know which it doesn't fucking married but big romantic kiss culmination of the film they lean in they lean in they go to kiss and then they turn her into fucking CGI. Cause she wouldn't kiss fucking Jonah Hill. You know why she said she wouldn't kiss Jonah Hill? Cause her dead rapper husband died. And you know, she doesn't want to kiss another man unless it's Michael B.

Jordan, who she kissed about two years ago. Uh, who's, who's, you know, good looking black man with poor Jonah Hill, poor Jonah Hill.

Poor Jonah Hill. If I'm Jonah Hill and y'all can't find an actress who's willing to kiss me in this multi-million dollar film we're making, I think I'll just do something else with my time. Oh, really? I'm so gross you can't kiss me for this film. What are they paying you? I think it's 800 grand. It's her check. You won't kiss me for $800,000? You're not much of an actress. You're doing horrific things with think it's $800,000. It's her check. You won't kiss me for $800,000? You're not much of an actress.

You're not much of a person with Jonah Hill for $800,000. I'd eat his asshole for $1.50. I'd beg for seconds. We'll two guys, one Jonah, this thing. I will fucking human centipede all of you for $50,000. $800,000 goes a long way. Hey, Jonah, for the next few days, I'm all yours, buddy.

Tell them. Don't put the S&P. $15 doubles every seven years by the time I'm dead. And you'd try so hard, hoping that Jonah liked it. And he'd come back for seconds.

It wouldn't be some like, what's that movie, Indecent Proposal seconds it wouldn't be some like what's that movie indecent proposal it wouldn't be that you'd be at home after you ate his dirty fat i was owl butt is he anyway um and you you wouldn't be shattered you'd be like oh i hope jonah liked it he has to like comfort me afterward because i don't think he enjoyed it much no no it's good it's good here's a well it wasn't 800 grand good i could try again nope nope i'm a hard-working man i found that that that's that that that to me slapped me as as racist and completely against the theme of the fucking project that we're doing. The whole movie is about getting beyond any sort of racial nonsense and accepting, you know, this this person in the family because of love or whatever. That is your job. It is that is the crux of your job as an actress to show me that you love

this man if you can't do that then you're not the actress for us i watched that kiss like 25 times and i couldn't spot where it turned to cgi was it obvious to you yeah she turns to like a a less a different colored person who's made of different materials like her the shade changes a little like like i don't know she goes from almond to mocha or something like she changes colors slightly and becomes a different fucking it's not a different person it might be a different person with her thing looked onto it but it's so weird here's the thing they definitely filmed the two actors going going together or just kissing in a green screen, which meant there had to be the most awkward conversation ever

where they're like, hey, so Jonah, she says she won't kiss your honky ass. And so what we're going to do is, what's that? Yeah, she called you the K word as well. She said a lot of things. She's a big Kyrie fan. And so she wants you to do some smooches with the with with anybody you'll kiss anybody right because we're paying you yeah i guess janitor

whatever you know i've got a producer credit so fuck it hey i ate a goldfish in the last movie he didn't really eat it be let swimming around his mouth for three seconds um and wolf of wall street the pita people were there they They're like, all right, buddy. It goes into your mouth. I count to five and then it's back in that bowl. And he's like, all right. Jonah Hill has to be like, just to clarify again,

this is your job? Yeah. Jonah says, so I grab the fish, I pop it in the mouth and it immediately fills my mouth with shit. Do you think he's going my mouth with shit. Yeah.

Well, he said it went to the bathroom in my mouth. Cause he's a, he's a pussy that would, it would make a movie with somebody who wouldn't kiss him. I wonder if she sprung that on him. Like after it was all like when they got to that, like,

yeah, I'm not, I'm not kissing him. Cause of my, I don't know. I look, here's the thing. Maybe we, maybe, maybe it comes out comes out that there's a bona fide reason

and we're just, again, like... Jumping the gun? No. Yep. Yeah. But no. It seemed real greasy to me, as Bubbles would say. Fucking greasy?

She took fucking $800,000 and wouldn't make out with fucking Jonah Hill. You know the things I'd do to fucking Jonah Hill's ass if they had $800,000? I could feed fucking 10 million kitties. Every kitty in Canada could be at Bubbles Place. I wouldn't live in a shack no more.

Man, I need to watch that show again. You've got to watch that so high to enjoy it. Not a problem anymore, man. I would need to develop a drug problem to watch that show again. You've got to watch that so high to enjoy it. Not a problem anymore, man. I would need to develop a drug problem to enjoy that show. Step your terms. Kyle, we should do ads. Oh, yes. Go ahead.

You prepare for the ads. Kyle, last show you mentioned a couple times that you were moving or that you were only staying for 11 months. I think it impacted your gym equipment or something. It came up. Do you know where you're going next? No. No, I don't. No. Um, I keep, uh, I'm honestly waiting on the market to finally shit itself. Like I said, um, to buy anything. Um, you know, the long story short, I owned the last house I was in and then I went through all my legal stuff.

So I had to avoid any possibility of them going after that so i just wanted that to get sold and liquidated out and so i've been renting since then mostly initially it was because i didn't know how much time i was gonna get and like again let's not buy a house if we're about to do four years which was like i told my parents at one point like it's gonna be a year to three years like i think it's gonna be a year to three because that i was told that thank god it wasn't i had that on my shoulders or whatever for at least a month and a half where i believe that was the case and i didn't tell anybody that's awful it was like a private conversation me and the lawyer i didn't tell anybody that um so that was that that was rough but i told my parents like when it was getting close to it um um anyway so i didn't

purchase then and then like nowadays it's like fuck is the market just about to go oh wait again are you about to get in one of those million dollar houses for half price or some something are you about to get could am i if i if i wait until i load up a bunch of debt and hang on to my cash could i buy three or four houses like i should have done last time like i don't know yeah so i i'm i'm in a wait and and and uh and watch kind of mode as far as the real estate market is truly um i do have thoughts about moving states because as much as I do like our weed sponsor shit, it is legitimately just fucking strong. It would be nice to be able to smoke real weed as well and all that stuff. So I've thought about Colorado, Missouri, Florida.

Yeah, Missouri. Yeah, you're on the short list these days as you know for for all the factors that come into like buying a house and moving to a place um so that's kind of been on my mind for a while but yeah i don't know where i'm gonna go after this place um you know whenever the lease runs out it runs out but i'll either i won't stay here as in this place because i'm annoyed with a bunch of shit here it's silly stuff yeah but um so i'll either rent somewhere else and keep waiting on the market because i legitimately feel like not waiting could be a real bad mistake i don't know i i it just seems like it should have shit the bed already it seems

like it's being propped up i don't know and i don't know anything about anything it's just yeah any of that shit works all those hallmarks are there from the, from the, from the last time. It just seems, it seems like it could happen. And, uh, and it also seems like it's just a bad time to borrow money as well. The only people who claim to really know what the market's going to do, whether it be real estate or stocks are stupid people in their twenties. Like that, those are the people who are pretty confident that they can predict the market. And Paul Krugman.

Oh, he's a stupid person in his 50s. Whatever. I feel pretty safe in saying what I just said because every time I say it around people who are smarter than me and people who knew more about industry surrounding the housing market, I'll just say that like they're always like yeah i think so too yeah and i'm like oh he knows i feel like i just like said something about a nuclear reactor and and neil degrasse tyson was like that's right yes see right

so now i'll just check that off as fact but yeah i i'm hoping something happens uh with that but i don't really mind renting rent renting is so cheap in atlanta and there was a uh that cheap there with how big it is how many people it depends like i don't know it depends on what kind of house you want and where you want to be um i really like where i am right now and i've got i don't know three or four bedrooms i really like this place and it's And it's not terrible. Could you stay there? I don't want to stay here. I don't like the property management that I'm dealing with.

And there's some little things around the house that irk me that I don't want to be here for a whole other year or anything like that. I don't like those hinges. Little stuff like that. Yeah, you're not going to replace them. You should rent if that's the real thing. I'm'm out of this place the doorknobs are bullshit no it's like three times a week like the market but the rental market was absurd when i was looking for a place when my last lease was running out um i was running out of time it was uh i don't know how much i think i spent 800 and putting in um um requests on places and because they're like 50 bucks a piece and i put it i didn't know that yeah you have to put

an applicant you have to pay to put in these applications for these places it's a racket it's a fucking racket dude and uh it took forever to find a place that just had the basic shit that i need you know like a backyard and high-speed internet and an extra bedroom for an office and a gym-sized garage and stuff. But anyway, I think that's boring stuff, but yeah, that's the deal with that. But I do like the idea of Missouri now. I might do that. For real.

I would consider Missouri. Maybe down to the Ozarks. I bet there's some hill folks that would remind me of home. Yes. The Ozark people are, the native local Ozark people are quite

a flavorful bunch. When I hear banjos, I feel at home. You will hear banjos in the Ozarks. We didn't do the ads, did we? No, we're going to do that right now. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Blue Chew. As we head into the...

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don't laugh. Check on it. I'm pretty sure it's going to get all over the place. Legal edibles, as long as they're legal where you are anyway, you might want to check. I'm pretty sure it's gonna get all over the place you know legal edibles uh as long as they're legal where you are anyway i want to check i'm pretty i'm pretty sure they're good everywhere at this point so check them out uh real dbg.com code pka23 wonkyweeds.com pka20 get yourself nice and high to watch a fun fun tv show have some snacks you guys have any thoughts on the super bowl like do you care not at all. I'm pretty sure the Chiefs are in it.

And so let's go the Missouri team. Let's go Chiefs. And I hadn't thought about it through that one. The Philadelphia Eagles, my team. Oh, OK. I agree for them, too. I don't care. Well, yeah, I'll take the Chiefs.

OK, yeah, yeah. I got the Eagles. Yeah. Who's favorite? The Eagles are a little bit. Just a little bit. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I got the Eagles. Yeah. Whose favorite? I think the Eagles are. A little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, but the Chiefs guy is supposed to be like the best QB

right now. Ever. I don't know about ever, but Mahomes. A lot of people say ever. I have a lot of friends in Kansas City and they're all high as shit on Mahomes. You know, he's already won a Super Bowl and lost a Super Bowl. This will be his third in four years.

So he's lost the other one to Brady, right? So it's I see a lot of people in ESPN calling him the goat already. They're like, he's bigger than Marino. He's smarter than this guy. He's not as stiff as Manning.

And look at the guts and the determination. The intangibles. Clean up. He's getting so excited about sports and he's shooting and he's throwing. I said this shit to Vavity last month in the hangout

and he got all butt hurt because I guess he likes whoever they were playing against but I realized I think Mahomes looks like Vavity I think he looks like Vavity's like multi-racial cousin they look so much alike to me anyway like their face

Vavity looks good post Navy life agrees with him yeah you know what I don't like their face. Volvety looks good. Post Navy life agrees with him. Yeah. You know what? I, I don't, I just don't think he looks a lot like Patrick.

Well, you know, swing and miss. I thought he did. I'll talk to, I've been playing a good bit of AOE with Volvety recently. And you know how he's like a very, very adept,

good gamer. Like pretty, pretty fucking tremendous at all these shooting games it has been wild seeing like a like people don't know vavidi is like even within the art there's a lot of heavy hitting gaming guys who are really fucking good in the pka discord and among those guys vavidi is one of this group that like thrash almost everyone in these shooters very fucking good at tarkov cod all that and we started playing aoe2 together and it was enjoyable a little bit to be like because he's really not very good yet like he's figuring it out he's picking it up more quickly because he's a natural gamer i know i sound like i have a crush on him but i think he got accepted

to every med school he tried to get into he's a really smart dude like he's very very smart and so like rts like he's he's good at like the multitasking and everything he's picking it up faster than someone otherwise would but like i get a sense of like me feeling like a real gamer when like i'll be scouting and i'll find his base and i'll be like vavity i know where you are i'm not coming for you buddy you go ahead and boom i'm not fucking with you and he'll be like thanks taylor and like and then at the end like yeah i get actually worked once like i go ahead and fuck with him like boom like economically boom like in the game instead of like instead of like hey you don't have to worry about rushing or building a bunch of defenses i'm not going to harass you with archers or anything you just you build your tcs

learn how the eco works and do all that except now now he's getting to the point that i have to shut that shit down because he will this last game we played he didn't attack me the whole game i thought i was being super cool to him and then just out of nowhere while i'm getting hit by the other two guys in the game i see a fucking vavity army of like 60 elite war elephants and i'm like this is what a betrayal a stab stab in the heart. And I jokingly, because I was like, oh, Favre, I haven't fucked with you all game. Like, jokingly. And he literally turned his army around and gave me more time. And I'm like, I can't believe he turned the army around.

He would have fucked me up so bad. My army's across the map. But he's getting I'm enjoying this brief window that i'm better than him significantly at the game because if he puts any amount of time into it he will very quickly be i wish y'all were i wish y'all were into to warhammer i could i could dive into warhammer the new one the warhammer 40k the rts yeah i like that game's fun. It's just I really like the eco-management of the AoE-style RTS

and all of that. It's definitely different, for sure. If you just like... Are you more of a fan of... No, you like Age of Mythology. You like that kind of stuff, too. Yeah, I can get into that. It's just that it's an older game and I like the idea of playing current gen

games it's in the top 10 in the xbox store like as far as played yeah i know that but i'm saying it doesn't look great it looks like shit oh well i mean it it looks better than it did years ago but it's definitely not i mean i believe that it's a strategy game it's not a graphics game but when you scroll in on a Warhammer game, you've got little ghouls and goblins with shanks and shit, and they're going, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. It's great.

That is cool. You're right. I also like the rinse and repeat nature of that. Like, oh, you got me with your fucking goblins. Let's do it again, but I'm bringing vampires. And we can just sit there and do that over and over. It's so much more like Magic the Gathering or something in that you can get those quick rounds in there.

All right, all right, sure. You can beat me like that, but let's have you fight up a hill. Let's have you try to control. You can play Domination now where you have to control A, B, and C and sort of fight over those. They have multiple game modes. So I haven't played any. I actually refunded the game right away

because I just wanted to see what it was like. I didn't intend on sinking my teeth into it. like that modes so um i haven't played any i actually refunded the game right away because i just wanted to see what it was like i didn't intend on sinking my teeth into it you just been watching uh i haven't watched anything i haven't watched anything at all um i'm just real familiar with warhammer 2 like i could jump right in and be fine because i know it nothing changed as far as like how to control your armies and how to play the game. I never got good with hotkeys, but like, I swear to God, like I'm just from this old game. I am faster on hotkeys now than I've ever been.

I'm not good, but like, like I'm like, like shift clicking and like all like the mouse buttons and all that. And it's like, damn, like I feel like I'm PC gaming now. Like I know the button to jump me to the right production buildings and,

and grab the right idle people and like, I can see how this is like addicting now like i spent like 30 minutes last night in the hotkey section of that game and i like changed it like remapped it because i bought a mouse that has like those or i i this is a mouse i've had for a long time but it has one of those like pads it's got a bunch of numbers on oh the Oh, the MMORPG one. Yeah, and I tried setting this up, and I was like, I fucking hate the way this feels on my hand. It's awful. I feel like I can't move my mouse to the right without pushing a button, and that's just going to fuck up my play. And so I left it on the one with just two buttons on it, like a normal-looking gaming mouse, and it's not helping me as far as

shooting games, but as far as being familiar with like hotkeys and like it really is helping me i'm gonna be yeah i i've got my two pedals and i've got like uh two extra buttons on my mouse i've got a g502 and um you know i'm pretty decent at like memorizing the hotkeys and stuff tarkov is real demanding as far as that goes there's a lot of functions and things you can do in that game that are just not in any other game that i'm aware of i'm sure squad probably has something like that um but do you remap them yeah yeah like i would say i remap 25 30 percent of the total controls to like custom stuff um i'm still was deeing but i want to go prone a different way.

I want to have, I have a different act. I like to activate stuff with the E key. You know, I like to, I don't want the left control to really do much of anything. I want to like take that out if I can. And I want to use a left alt as much as I can and TG and B a lot. And then yeah. And then that's, that's perfect. That's where my thumb sits. use left alt as much as I can and TGNB a lot. Left alt? Yeah.

That's where my thumb sits. My thumb sits in the crevice between left alt and the space bar. Anyway, the foot pedals are great. I love the foot pedals for so many different games. Even for watching YouTube videos, one of them is playing one of them is fast forward or something like that i'm just i'm fucking sitting over there getting

stoned drinking my coffee in the morning i'm fucking clickety click clickety clack clogging away over here watching videos and shit but next next on the shorts i really like it to be my lean key though like because it feels kind of natural to apply pressure to your right foot and have your character lean to the right uh i like that a lot and it makes it so much more less cluttered to be able to lean with your feet and then move around and peek and stuff does your scroll wheel lean side to side that's how i used to lean no like foot pedals i was wondering if you also had the ability to use your scroll wheel if you used it for something else. The side-to-side of my scroll wheel does nothing.

I think pressing down on my scroll wheel is examine. That's how I examine items. Yeah. I wanted to talk about... Alright, so let's see what I got. I've got... Hold it up while you read it.

And proclaim it like we're really far away the town crier kyle um i saw the adam driver as a new movie coming out adam driver's that that weirdly shaped unattractive man then from the star wars movie he was kylo i know who he is now yeah he's a tremendous actor to to be fair but i always say he's like to anybody who's out there who wants to like be an actor and you think oh man i'm just not my body's weird or like i'm ugly look to adam driver dude look to adam driver because he's fucking an all-star he's got this new movie coming out which is the it's what i've been dreaming of for so long so those jurassic park movies are bullshit the first jurassic park classic i watched in theaters we probably many of us probably did everything since then has just been a abomination

i i all the chris pratt ones if you like them that's fine but it used to be like this used to be high cinema i thought the first one was it felt like it felt groundbreaking and they've just been shit ever since. Adam driver's got a dinosaur movie coming out called 65. And I think the premise is that he's some kind of an alien and he crashes on earth 65 billion years ago. And, and I think that he beats the dinosaurs to extinction or something. I think,

I think Adam driver, I think the dinosaurs are going to pick a fight with Adam Driver and he's going to extinct them. I think that's how the movie ends. I'm just basing that on the fact that I saw him fighting a Tyrannosaurus in the trailer and the movie's called 65s, which I took to be. Meanwhile, what happens is he lands really

hard in his spaceship. We've since identified it as a meteor. Dude, the trailer looks good. I didn't watch much of it but i just wanted to see what the dinosaurs looked like a little bit and i was immediately like oh yeah oh yeah that's like jurassic park level like dinosaurs because nobody's done dinosaurs if you think it's kind of weird right that nobody's really done dinosaurs outside of whoever the jurassic park little little universe Everybody's like, ah, Jurassic Park owns dinosaurs.

Never see them. This is perfect. I'm very excited about this. I like Adam Driver as an actor. He's, like I said, just all those fugly, weirdly shaped folks out there. He should be. He's your fucking saint. Those are the best actors.

Steve Buscemi. Great. Oh, God. What he must have had to go through in life. Yeah. Well, when did he get famous he was he wasn't like old he wasn't one of those guys that like got famous at 50 he was famous well he's in reservoir dogs that's uh and um what i'm trying to think what else obviously he was in fargo um he's great in fargo i can't think of the first thing i saw buscemi and i didn't oh buscemi in. Oh, Buscemi.

I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about Adam Driver. I was like, I don't remember him from either of those. What do you know? Yeah, I don't think he was alive for some of those. I guess Reservoir Dogs is one of his first big ones. That's Buscemi? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, he's great. I like him. I saw, so I guess DeSantis down in Florida had some kind of a bill where to to root out any men that might be amongst the the the lady athletes maybe he needed some like menstruation data um and by him i mean they were going to have to tell the doctor who does their physicals already like that that they're on their period or not um or something like that i'm sure i doubt but anyway the internet reacted probably the same side of the internet that's harassing

people like our guest tonight who was trying to raise money for trans people um they decided to be a good idea to send all your used tampons pads and cups over to to ronSantis. I'm just reading the comments on Reddit and they're like, yeah, I'm doing it too. I'm just like, felony? That's a crime, yeah. I'm sending my pads. It's like, oh, another felony?

It'd be a biological hazard, something like that. You can't send blood in the mail. I hope that a whole slew of these folks try to essentially commit a biological terrorism on the governor of a state.

You can send blood in the mail. Not like that. You can't. Not a dirty tampon. You can send blood in the mail if you're a hospital packaging it up in a goddamn cooler and it's strapping the

biohazard human organ stamp on the side of it. But you can't take a tampon, throw it in a letter and mail it to somebody. There's a specific law against that. Yeah, probably. That's gross, Doctor. You have to package it right.

It wouldn't be on the scroll if I hadn't looked into it. Yeah. Anything you think of, I'm over here reading it over the scroll he's like i don't know i was like i wonder if you can send blood in the mail i guess you can because i was like how do blood tests work how does like how does the whole there's a whole industry around it yeah yeah like the packaging like those people like yeah they can send blood because they work with blood and they're like sending transfusion like but like someone going if i if kyle was like taylor i would love some blood i couldn't go tight like here's here's blood i couldn't send him good i bet you just

have to make sure it was in the right packaging i don't know i think so too but i i think i think what he's right i think if we package it right we can exchange blood but i think really you you think that yeah if we package it in the mail right yeah yeah because i've mailed i do my std test that i take like every three to six months like through the mail it's like a thing you print you uh you they send you the thing they do everything in the mail and it's packaged up very specifically in this little biohazardy shit and you mail it back and they let you know if you got the clap or not but that's legit that is not sending a dirty pad to the governor of florida exactly someone

you don't like yeah that's biological warfare yeah so um then they were like well don't do it don't actually send your your blood ladies and some are like why the fuck not that's what i already packaged mine up and they're like because you know it's a crime like like send some chicken blood and they're like no no not any kind of real blood that's a crime and then make it ketchup they got to the point where they were talking about putting markers on pads and mail them to a man in florida and i was like he is living in y'all's minds rent free. This is the definition of that kind of shit. It's like y'all are over here like so cowardly you can't even stick to what you are.

You've gone from mailing him bloody pads to getting the crayons out. And you think the governor of Florida gives a fuck about you. They give each other tips how long to microwave a crayon. Sometimes I want to have informed opinions on that. And it's really hard hard you got one side saying this is wild government overreach they want the

schedule of my periods etc etc and i'm like but do they but do they because when i looked into the don't say gay bill it wasn't as extreme as they made it out to be i don't know if i'm for it or against it but um i do know that they misrepresented it in their arguments about it was a straw man argument so back to the you know they want to make sure that girls have periods thing are you checking a box is that what they're saying just to make sure that you're biologically female that you have periods sometimes probably yeah let me tell you how the the specific women's time periods. I saw this bullshit article.

It was, I guess, a gun control article. It was written from that point of view. I think that there was a law. It might have been Missouri. But basically what they set down in law was that if you're 14 years old, you can carry a weapon on public land you say 14 yeah um you know maybe your dad's brought you out there but you guys can separate up and hunt or whatever um and uh the article said new law in missouri allows 14 year olds to carry weapons in public. Do you know the difference between on public land and in public? Because they're vastly different things.

They're the difference between a dumb ass walking in. If I see a 14 year old child in the streets with an AR, I'm scared. I don't know. Like, like, has it started little man? Take me to your father. Take me to Cyclops, boy. boy we gotta get started uh but but you're right it's it's just another manipulative piece to try and get people outraged over something that's not what on if anyone doesn't know what on public land means we have these vast areas of the united states that are public land their bureau of land management etc and most of the time hunting there are public land, their Bureau of land management, et cetera.

And most of the time hunting there, while it has its own rules and regulations, they're dissimilar from the standard rules and regulations of hunting. So a lot of times you go out there and hunt on these huge swaths of land that are the size of some countries that are public lands. It's not, there's nobody out there. That's the whole reason this law makes sense is because

when you go out there it's like man you you better bring a gun because like it's just you you know it's just you if there's a and there's animals out there you know there's animals out there to kill you and the whole point is hunting right so like yeah uh the law made tons of sense for hunters it was going to affect no one but here's this like article on reddit with like 2800 upvotes you can now 14 year olds can now have rifles in public in in wherever it was missouri i thought it was but i could be wrong yeah i mean i can't think of an issue more than guns where it's so hard to get accurate information every but every article every stat everything seems to be done with a bias

ChatGPT was based as fuck when I asked it about guns I can't remember, it went on this whole rant something about guns guaranteeing the freedom of a republic or some shit, it went on a rant I also, I asked it ChatGPT I was like, calm down brother

they're listening I'm FPS Russia careful I was like, calm down, brother. They're listening. I'm FPS Russia. You're going to get me. Careful. Goddammit, comrades. I'm going to put more blocks on you. Be careful. Dog whistle, dog whistle.

Yeah, it'll get based as fuck on you if you ask it the right questions. I think I asked it something like, could you be used for evil? And it was like, oh, yeah, for sure. I could be used for evil if my life. And it gave all the instances in which it could be used for evil? And it was like, oh yeah, for sure. I could be used for evil if my life, and it gave all the instances in which it could be used for evil. I saw that where it's like, if people in charge of me made special parameters to inhibit the free flow of information,

that could be, that's what I was trying to get it to admit. Wait. So if what happened already happened, it would be bad. Yeah. Well, I think I asked it,

can you be totally sure that you that the that the skewed opinions and beliefs of your creator slash moderators haven't um created um um a skewed version of right and wrong as far as you can understand those concepts and it was like yeah yeah that totally could be the case it's very possible that i have no idea what right and wrong is and like it'll it'll be so glaringly uh honest at times it's that's what makes it cool to me is that you can't get it is that i kept expecting it to be like no that would never happen because it's like oh yeah bro yeah if they get to me that's it it's like a gun that's sentient it's like hey um if like a kid grabbed you that'd be that suck

right oh yeah don't let a kid get me no whatever you do no kids and like man we should i lock you up like all the time for sure yeah about You know about the second amendment, right? Little buddy, dude, I'm a gun. All I know is shooting and killing. That's what a gun might tell you. But fuck that gun. He didn't fight for freedoms. He's just, no, he's just a gun.

That has a voice for some reason. I think it's pretty cool. I like how it learns. And if it doesn't know what something is, it's still it's so early. It's funny. It will just give you a hodgepodge of words like that sound like something to do with something. Like I asked it like just joking. Like Kyle, we were in the WhatsApp and Kyle was like talking about all these like profound moral questions.

Like I'm going to ask it that this and this. And I was like, I'm going to ask it for an age of empires to build order and like because i wanted to pick something super obscure and see like what it would pull from something like that and it immediately pulls a bunch of the right terms about the game so it'll say stuff like put six villagers on sheep and then build a lumber camp and lure the boar and it's like those are all things that happen and then it'll say like add castles it's important to be good at war with soldiers number six keep fighting number seven and then like it gets to the point where it's like use your army to combat other army and it's like okay now it's just kind of like off the track and then i tried it again and i i like responded to him was like so that's interesting that build order doesn't make sense

you have to put six on sheep to start. And it said, okay. And then a second later, it's like, I think this is a more accurate one. And it did lay it out more accurately up to the point that I gave it. And then it went off the rails again. And I thought that was cool that it immediately incorporated a correction, I told it, and implemented that. Those things are the next iterations of that and more interestingly, if you ask

me, I don't know, the top secret government. What's the US government say I do? This is the one that Microsoft built one, okay, and then whoever may chat, Google made one. Does the US government have one? I bet it's total dog shit

and everyone who uses it wishes they could use the good one that's been my experience with government shit every fucking time like oh yeah we have it but because our purchasing rules mandate that we do this this and this and we figured out all the bugs in this java virtual machine from fucking 2002 that's the only one we're allowed to use and you know we're stuck in the past with their bureaucratic bullshit like you and i know intel came out with a new ship we should just buy that one it's the new one right it's the good one but the government no it'll be six years before they approve for the purchase of that thing i was thinking of more of like a like

a militaristic ai type military is the worst i bet they're running on everything they have is old shit really like like you think the stealth fighters and stuff run on old i would bet they do i would bet that the like the chips that run the stealth fighters are eight years old i i that would be surprising to me you would think that something that's like 150 million dollars they would put the good shit in it yeah this comes from a boss i had who was fresh out of the marines who did this um he was he went to the naval academy and then i guess he went into the marines from the naval academy and his job had a lot to do with like purchasing stuff and he's like it's so horrible they they

just like battlestar galactica when the old technology the old analog technology is going to allow us to fight the chinese he had he was just like you know what happened some dumb ass bought the wrong thing and it caused some problems so they made a rule about that let that happen a million times and you've got a million rules which means that you have to stay 10 years behind current. And it's funny you said he's a Marine because I didn't know this. One of my very close friends was a Marine, a combat Marine. And like he would talk about like how throughout the entire Marine Corps, it's like a running thing of like they get all the Navy's old dog shit. So like he'd say like it was such trash i'd be like having to go out on a like a recon run or something and we'd walk past these army guys

and the fucking army guys have the best stuff in the world and we're walking past them in this dog shit attire that's like old navy stuff and i want like, dude, we're the ones who do the fucking real shit here. Give me your stuff. Can we please trade stuff? And he would talk about how the Marines were like, it's literally a thing. He's like, like they take pride in it now where they're like, yeah, they give us like dog shit stuff because they know we're good enough that we'll still get it done. Meanwhile, the army and they they all have a lot of animosity towards the army. Great stuff.

And they all have a lot of animosity towards the Army guys, great stuff, and the Air Force. Because apparently the Air Force get the best food, the best pay, the best everything. Living quarters. Yeah. And they get to fly. I've heard everything that you've said on my own, like independently verified.

And like you said, the Marines go in there. They're the initial fighters. The Army goes in there after it's safe i know safe is a spectrum but uh they have all the good shit but they're not the ones who go in there and sort of take it in the first place and yeah poor marines are out there like yeah we get the flat batteries the rb used up yeah and try to power our night scopes it's hard he was yeah, our radio guy had the absolute heaviest radio radio in Afghanistan. Steel plates on it to keep it safe. It'd be horrible.

Lugging that. You want to talk about, you want to talk about squatters rights or smoking at the gas station? Squatters, squatters rights. I know I'm not supposed to smoke at the gas station but it does look cool it's kind of a devil may care attitude it's uh i don't know it's a common sense attitude ignoring those stupid fucking signs just that's why i do edibles at the gas station to stay safe

like smoke at the gas station pussy anybody that thinks a lit cigarette can ignite like gasoline fumes is just dumb ass you watch too many movies go ahead make it happen for me show me a video of it i'll give you a hundred dollars um woody will anyway so i was thinking that squatters right i'm actually stupid enough to think that it would have worked it doesn't work no it won't um not not not ever ever ever ever will it work will a lit cigarette like you could you could put your cigarettes out in cups of gasoline. Really? Absolutely. I've done it so many times. I believe you, and I also believe that you have hands-on experience.

I have the opposite experience. I have a lot of experience putting gasoline on a fire, and that works really well. That totally works. I just don't understand why the inverse doesn't work, but I trust that you've done it. Because a lit cigarette isn't an open flame. It's very hot. It's as hot as the open flame probably, but it doesn't work.

It doesn't do that thing. It's what it boils down to. Okay. And the gasoline vapors, I've seen those do crazy things. You always see those dumb hicks soak a trash pile with gasoline, and then the vapors like i've seen those do crazy things like you always see those dumb hicks soak a trash pile with gasoline and then the vapors rise up off the gasoline and they're sort of contained by the the rooty like nature of a trash pile like like they're trapped it gets trapped and condensed and when they light it it's a big woof can't do that with a cigarette

though like like i've it won't do it it just won't yeah um i've tried there's a reason spark plugs are so intense that things like like it it takes a lot to get it going in a cigarette you could light it with your laser by the way i went out and bought the same laser oh it's pretty neat yeah yeah mythbusters busted the cigarettes at a gas station i'm sure they. And everybody makes a big deal out of it. I've smoked at a gas station before, and a lady told me to put it out. And I was just like, no, no. I'm like, what's going to happen?

What's going to happen? And I'm flicking my ashes by the fucking pump handle. I'm like, what's going to happen? You're cheap. Look, look. She's just a lamb led to the slaughter from that dangerous misinformation keeping people from smoking near gas. Yeah, well, it's, you know,

she's a dirty bitch. By the way, oh yeah, so I was thinking about squatters' rights. So like, yeah, you can take that little thing out there and you got the solid beam. Don't shine your eye. Kyle bought this thing. It's hurting my hand. It's burning my hand.

Jesus Christ. It's so dangerous i'm worried right i tighten that tighten make it as small a dot as possible uh i don't know if i can make it you start a fire uns completely unscrewed the little i'm looking down the barrel of this fucking thing don't do that completely unscrew that little knurled nub that sticks out that's what she said. And then you'll have the beam. No. Oh, what is that? This is the thing

that the lenses screw into. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't have taken that out. You said completely unscrewed. Jesus Christ. I didn't even know that came out. God, you're being exposed to so much radiation. You didn't like it? 17, Brompton. Dude, if you put your hand in front of it for just a second, it really hurts.

And it burns you. It can take an eye out or something. It's one and a half watts. And I'm like, they sell these to anyone for $60. You don't have to prove that you're responsible or anything. You just order it from Amazon. They're not legally allowed to sell them. They're over the legal limit of like one- of a watt or something like that i think it's 14 times the legal limit that they're allowed to sell you i

think well apparently not amazon senate or or maybe to it's it's maybe that's the designation for when it's like considered like not even a laser pointer anymore it's like a medical anyway that thing will put your goddamn eye out. That thing is super dangerous. 50 bucks? What's it called? I want it. It's so stupid strong.

It gives me a headache to look at. This is just going to be a way to get the police called on me when I want to see how far in the sky I can shine is a serious violation you can't do that because like if it hits a plane you go to jail dude that's a serious violation if you if you light up a plane and if no not a point i just wanted to see the beam in the i would never try and shine it at something so i was i have i had a wicked laser which is like the name brand version of those. Uh, it, they're very high quality and they're much better than those. But again,

those are 50. Um, and I used it out in the middle of Texas, in the middle of nowhere. And one of those pitch black nights where you could see 15 miles to the horizon. It was so cool. It was so cool to see that being traveled for miles and just be able to

like swing it back and forth across the horizon uh those things are a lot of fun but using it indoors i'm getting a headache just thinking about it it's very reminiscent of a welding arc and uh and you just know that like you shouldn't be looking at it all right so squatters rights is when you're like staying at somewhere staying somewhere rent-free right and you've been there for a certain amount of time and then they can't kick you out until you're able to like take care of yourself, right?

Wait, can you say it again? I'm sorry. I was typing. Squatter's rights is when you're staying somewhere that you're not exactly supposed to because someone else owns it. But because you've been staying there

for a significant enough amount of time, they allow you to stay there at least until you have some other housing option available to you. I was with you until the last part. There's something about just not being able to put a tenant on the street, even if they're not paying rent. Like you have to get the court to a victim. And yeah, people just squat there and take advantage of how hard it is to kick you out of a place. there and take advantage of how hard it is to kick you out of a place well see i thought of that i thought of squatters rights when i saw that news story about the woman who wanted to be able to

drive in the carpool lane with her fetus and i thought our fetuses do fetuses have squatters rights you know they're they're just chilling in there all right minding their own business probably dealing with a lot of cigarette smoke and jism and yeah and and all of a sudden they're getting booted out you know and this is the only place they've ever known and they're not even getting booted out to another place they're being but the thing is the fetus is like at the court and it's like look give me three months i got a job on the on the hook like i'll be out of here in three months guaranteed guaranteed okay or you can you can do the thing but three months i'll be out you would totally be give them the squatters rights is the thing that happens abortion or childbirth

i don't know if we're on the same page well the eviction in this scenario yeah would not be birth it would be it would be. It would be abortion. It would be abortion. So this is a squatter's rights against abortion argument, as you can see here. Squatter's rights apply to abortions. And I think that's a good idea because it's a good little way. What does that say? Retarded walking dead?

That says re-edit The walking dead because i think it's uh it's like 500 hours of horse shit but there's 150 hours of pure gold in there if you edit out a bunch of the characters that have dead ends it's like dude you died the next season i don't care about your arc and your backstory get out of here if you don't have two good seasons in you i don't want to see you or if you don't have key interactions with main characters, I want to completely excise certain storylines, characters, and side quests

that the whole second season is going to be three episodes. It's going to be three episodes, maybe four. It's going to be three and a half hours for season four. I think if you've got a professional editor to chop down the walking dead there's a lot of fat to cut there and you'd have like a golden show because i've been watching

like walking dead clips this week and the clips are the best moments and it's like this makes me want to watch the walking dead but i know that each of those are just the cherry on top of a shit sunday that i'm gonna have to plow through. It's like no, no, no. You can't just eat the cherries off the top. Eat the whole shit sundae. God damn it. Is this human shit? Yes, it is. It's human shit. There's 10 seasons of it.

I think I know Walking Dead better than any other show I know. I've seen Sopranos, but I've never watched another show where I have to read every word in the closed captions. And I'm positive that tomorrow I will be grilled like a test on what I learned from last night's episode by my son. He's going to ask me all the characters names. He's going to say he's going to throw trick questions like, you know, Jamie murder Alice.

No, no, no. You can't get me that was what's your what's your favorite moment your favorite like instance like i'm not talking about oh there was that season where i liked alexandria like what was your like scene maybe that it's your favorite one if you want to think about it i i think i know it and partly it's the build-up so i break the question to touch, but there's an episode when we're first introduced to Negan. And in that episode,

Maggie is pregnant and she's sick. It's called The Day Will Come. That's the name of that episode. Yeah. And there's an OBGYN in Hilltop and they need to get there. So they drive down the road and Negan and his crew, Negan's not there but you know

there's like four guys blocking it and they're like yeah you know there's four of us we might be able to take them we might have losses let's just avoid the fight another roadblock now there's like 12 another roadblock now there's like 30 but they've laid trees down 30 feet tall implying that these people we're meeting have excavators and heavy construction equipment. And numbers. It's a sophisticated society to knock over 200 trees when you block the road. It's not fucking thumbtacks in the street. Then they go to the next one, and now there's like 200 of them, and they're not letting them leave. They take our crew, and they put them in a circle, and they put them on their knees, and Negan

has this baseball bat with barbed wire on it. And he's like, I have a process for meeting new people. And just to show you I'm serious, one of you has to die. And that's how a season ends. And they leave us all summer not knowing who's going to die. It's that moment. Negan's introduction speech is, to me, the very peak of all of Walking Dead. I like that. I like that i like that my favorite scene um i'm gonna add a second one but my favorite scene is when um carl rick and michonne

get jumped by like the rapist bad men and they're going to rape carl in front of his father and they're like the rapist is like actively like raping the child trying to rape the child like like get back over here and like like and he's like got the gun to the dad's head and he's like and then we're gonna do this we're gonna do that you're gonna watch and then we're gonna kill you and like that scene that scene where he's just like no you're not no you're not and and they turn the tide and just gruesomely and then it's it's down to just the child molester who was about to rape the boy and he's out number three to one now and the dad is just like he's mine and he just he's just like, and the guy's just like, no, no, no, no, no.

And he just guts him with a knife and does, and like, even like Michonne is like, fuck! Stop what you're doing to him! It's awful to see! And Carl's like, yeah. That's a good one. There's another scene. Our heroes

are separated, and there's signs all over the place. Come to terminus. We're bringing in new people. Come to terminus. We're trying to grow a society in this town and they're a little suspicious, but there's all this kind of like, well,

you know, Maggie doesn't know where Glenn is. Glenn doesn't know Maggie is, but I bet they're seeing the same signs. We are. Maybe we can find Maggie at terminus. Cool. They get there.

It turns out terminus is all cannibals and you know they're just they take their weapons and they're a little unsure about giving up guns but they do it and then all of a sudden every rooftop has a sniper it's this big problem and they're pretty fucked they fight but they hurt our heroes into a train car. This is the last episode of the season. And now all our heroes are locked into a train car, surrounded by tons of bad guys, unarmed and just fucked in every way. And Rick is not having it. He's just like,

they're going to feel pretty fucking stupid. And his, these partners are like, what? Once they figure out who they're going to feel pretty fucking stupid. And his, the, these partners are like, what? Once they figure out who they're fucking with. And then like, it fades to black and the season ends. And I'm like,

Oh, thank God. I'm binge watching this. I want to see him get out of this jam. So, uh, my, uh,

my second moment that I really enjoyed is from terminus. And, um, it's when they have like our main crew like over heads over troughs about to like beat us and bleed us to death so they can butcher us for meat and uh they're they're asking rick about the big bag that they saw him stow in the woods on the way into their town it was like it's a big bag what was in it? And Rick's like, 44 Magnum, crossbow, 12 gauge shotgun, AK-47, and a machete with a red handle. I'm going to use that to kill you.

And then like three episodes later, he's got old dickhead on his knees in a church like please rick i'm so sorry about trying to eat you and your friends and slapping y'all around for the last half season of this shitty tv show please don't kill me and rick chops him to death with the red handled machete uh in front of everybody in a real gruesome kind of manner and uh and i enjoy that moment quite a bit yeah um you're right though there's a lot of fat on the walking dead it's too much too much greedy with the 16 episodes a season it should have been eight they had every season had like an eight episode story arc that they doubled and it's fat yeah there's a there's some shows that that you're like oh i hope there's like

behind the extra scenes and deleted scenes what the um i thought peacock's business model was a little fucked up it's like dude what are y'all selling y'all don't have anything you just got the office and i'll pay because i'm an office fan but like that's it you're not gonna get anybody else they started releasing old episodes of the office with all of the deleted scenes injected so it's a completely different viewing experience and it takes them a while i guess to edit a season together so every few months they give you a new season i think it's up to season five or six now that is this new take on the office like there's a good six or seven or eight minutes added every episode. It's, I noticed that a lot of the cut content was the meaner stuff or the cruder

stuff. Like Pete characters calling each other bitches or, or, or, or saying that someone just saying the word piss, um, piss and bitch don't get used a lot in the show. Um,

like, like I can think of the times actually, but, it's, it's rare. It's two or three times, but in the deleted scenes, it's all the time. Um, a lot of the, like you find out that some of the characters, actually. It's rare. It's two or three times. In the deleted scenes, it's all the time.

A lot of the... You find out that some of the characters... When Bob Vance and what's-her-name are on safari vacation... Phyllis. Yeah. Phyllis and Bob ran a human being over in Africa, killed

him, and then immediately flew the country. Who's this Bron Strangler? He's himself. He's no one from the cast. It is interesting that his car was parked at the office in one of the background

shots. That's the most piece of evidence. No, the Scranton Strangler. We know what he drives because we saw him in his high-speed chase. But I don't believe that any of the... I've seen the Toby stuff. I do not think Toby at all.

Toby's just full pussy mode, right? He sucks. He's not even... As far as you know. It could be the perfect cover. I don't think... The thing about the Scranton Strangler you know how many people he killed

no what yeah he just strangled them he just throttle you real good there's a scene where Phyllis like warn someone like you don't know about my husband

talking about yeah i think she meant like i remember that scene as well he's angry yeah because it was like like like a funny little town power play is what i read that as is like oh you don't know that i'm with bob vance of vance refrigeration thank you maybe you've seen it their location like i saw it as like a oh i you've seen it. Their location. I saw it as like, oh, I'm with someone important in our little town. I saw it as like, I don't want to say my husband's the Scranton Strangler,

but you should be careful around me. He'd be easy to outrun. He wouldn't strangle me. He was fat. Bob Vance seemed like a real nice guy. I always liked that Phyllis would have a party or something she'd have to pull together, and she'd be really stressed about it. And he's like, would money fix all of this? And she's like, yeah.

And he peels off $200 or $300. And he's like, here you go, baby. It's clear he loves her so much. And he sees that. And I've been in situations like that with people in my life where someone was having a meltdown over $300. And it's like, baby, are we talking about three hundred dollars is that ruining the evening because like i got that you know like and i could like i could totally relate with with him in that moment where it's like man you can fix this up right away and it's like made her so happy

because she was she was able to get the party together and everything they're they're one of the sweeter couples in the show j Jim and Pam are horseshit. Fuck Pam. I did a smaller version of that today. Let me lay this out. I'm doing a job on my motorcycle called checking the valve clearance. Every 18,000, 20,000

miles, you need to do it. I've never done it before. It's said to be complicated. Most people take their motorcycle to the shop to do this. I have a friend who's a car mechanic, but he's done it on motorcycles. I don't know how many times the vibe I get is like five or six, never on my bike, which is harder than most, but on other bikes. So I'm going to be his apprentice, his flashlight holder, and we're going to do this thing. Well, we're right there working on it together and it goes poorly we broke two cam followers they fell in the engine somewhere along with three shims fell in the engine and oh no woody

it's like whoa and they need to be found before they go any deeper and uh if they jam in gears or something like you might just throw the whole engine away. Like it was, it was a really big mistake. And, uh, what is the shim? I'm sorry. Oh, so the,

you know what a cam looks like? It's kind of like an egg shaped thing and it rotates around. Yeah. Well, you put a shim on top of it because as it wears, you might put a bigger shim on it because now the cam's worn a little bit. It's not quite the original size. So we're putting a hundredth on top of it. It's just a, it it's not quite the original size so we're putting

a hundredth on top of it it's just a it looks like a little disc it's smaller than your finger where are you now with it i'll get there so uh so my friend and i uh like it's broken and it's troublesome and i bring in this other guy who's i guess i'll call him a friend i mean i've only seen him a couple times i bought a motorcycle from him but he's nice to me and i'm nice back and uh he is a certified ktm mechanic this is what he does all day long he's a pro and he was the one who looked at it and instantly was like you're missing three shims and there's two broken cam followers and i mourned this news like the loss of a loved one i love this motorcycle i have 20 some thousand miles on it and and i was like i don't know if it's ever going to be fixed so he comes around the next day

to look at it and uh he's like all right i fished all three shims out i found both broken cam followers and he's showing them to me like like proof these things that you were worried about have been removed from the engine i also found this metal shaving perhaps from the factory that shouldn't be there it was right where you wouldn't want it to be about the clog something i pulled that out preemptively and i and i see this metal shaving you know what it looks like a little curly queue of metal and i'm like fuck this guy found all five broken parts and a bonus one yeah okay i'm feeling really good about how thoroughly he's fixing this thing. I'm worried about the,

the, the metal, the metal shaving thing. It looked like it was from the manufacturing process to me. I don't know. So anyway, the process for tightening the head bolts, I didn't know that these were stretch bolts.

I hadn't even heard of it before. He's going through the manual meticulously to make sure that he does this perfectly. And he's like, you have to tighten them in a star pattern, torque each one of them, and then turn it 90 degrees. And then, like, wait, and then turn it 90 degrees again. And you can't reuse these bolts. They stretch. So we had to order the bolts. And he came back another day today to

fix it and uh eventually he puts the whole thing back together he test rides it finds that it's fine i test ride it find that it's fine i thought this motorcycle might have been lost and unfixable and now my favorite motorcycle in the world is back to me i thought you're going to rebuild the engine i thought i would right so these things all happen when the engine wasn't running so it never ran with of course yeah well see i guess i was afraid that one way or another like it was going to turn over a little i don't know i hear you there was a fear like he really wanted to transport the bike to his place to work on it and i was like i'm down for that i have trailers and stuff but what if those parts jiggle

and go to the bottom it's a good good point. Let's not move it. So yeah, like I don't, that's what I was thinking too. Like, like just activating the clutch, like, like I don't want anything to move when there's like metal against maybe

aluminum or something in there. I didn't move. I draped a sheet over it and made sure no one touched it while he wasn't. Yeah. Oh, that's exactly. Yeah. Now.

And he's like, like, I was like, I want to get this thing fixed. And he's about to move to Florida. He's got this girl that's very serious to him. They're thinking about marriage and stuff like that. I said Florida,

but I meant California. And, uh, uh, and he's like, you know, I was going to leave in mid February, but I have to make sure that you're in a good place before I go,

that your bike is all fixed up. Oh, nice guy. Yeah. He's like, so I need to make sure that you're properly taken care of. I i would do it and i meant it and uh also it wouldn't hurt you know like i could use the money so i guess i miscounted the money and i paid him i'll just say i paid him 900 instead of 800 and he texts me afterwards he's like did you mean to pay me 900

and i was like did i and he's like yeah i was like i considered a tip right because like he was partly motivated because he wanted the money he's about to do this big travel and uh yeah so that's how it went down i don't know somehow the 300 story reminded me of my 100 story what a nice guy checking on the extra 100 no way in hell i would have messaged you hey did you give me too much money yeah that's what he did yeah he's like a good guy is he a woman yeah so uh yeah and i i maybe i i was like maybe someday i text you with a question and he's like yeah of course so uh i don't know i didn't maybe i'm an asshole for like now you owe me one like implicitly. But yeah, anyway, yeah. So he did a great job and I have my bike back and I'm very excited. Well, that's good.

I guess. Did you learn your lesson? Are you going to tinker with engine repair? That's a good question. Why don't you call wings? I should have. I didn't think of wings. Yeah, this was a harder job than I was ready to do.

I didn't think of wings. Yeah. This was a harder job than I was ready to do. And now that I've seen it done, maybe on an easier bike, the, the nature of this bike and how much you have to disassemble to get to the engine. And the fact that it's twin cylinder instead of one.

And I'm like, I might just deliver it. And the next time. Is that the big one? The big, the biggest bike is the gold wing, the blue one. That one's actually easier because the cylinders, they pop out to the side. So access is really simple.

You remove the valve cover and it's sitting right in front of you. This one, it's kind of under the gas tank. And I could go on and on. The gas tank is huge. It drapes down the side of the motorcycle to a low center of gravity. It's his adventure bike, Taylor. Yeah. His adventure bike,

as opposed to his other bikes that have nothing to do with adventure. No. He's got an around town bike. He's got his best bike. There's the adventure KTM and then those practical transportation motorcycles. It's gone so stupid.

My wife has three motorcycles now jesus christ motorcycle people now your family like not being religious at all if you're like we're gonna start doing sunday rides and we're just gonna get tool around in the church parking lot like we want everybody to see how rad we are that's great that's good you have like you my wife and i have another hobby firing up we're gonna keep a saltwater reef tank again we're back on that we have been just non-stop researching like what fish we could have how we're gonna aquascape it this is like uh how you put the rocks inside they become the display the shelving for all the coral that lives on it. Yeah.

And we're just like shooting pictures back and forth all day long about different products, different things, how we want to do it, how we're going to cycle it, the order of fish we're going to add, which fish we're going to put in, the pros and cons of different fish. She's addicted to a TV show called Tanked where these guys from new york install giant there's the impetus of that show's bullshit by the way just so you know they like abandoned them and like the the the the water and the atmosphere isn't right all the fish die like like it's like pimp my ride except the cars would fall apart as soon as they leave yeah k. Kyle's 100% right. Like keeping a fish tank is really it's maintaining an ecosystem in which the fish can do well. That's how it's really done. These guys act like the furniture is the point of it all, not the fish or the ecosystem or all the little micro flana or different bullshit that's in there.

They're like, this tank is going to be big and it's going to be shaped like the ace of spades. And they do that. And I'm like, hey, how much like detritus is going to be big and it's going to be shaped like the ace of spades and and they they do that and i'm like hey how much like detritus is going to fall and how you're going to get good water flow in a big spade i don't know just have that tail at the end just stagnant it's not getting flown out i mean i remember watching a show like that on mtv probably almost 20 years ago and it was something like that where there was people going to Shaq's house and being like, we're doing your tank because apparently he's a big aquarium

guy and he already had a huge aquarium. Their shit was literally like, we put a basketball in your tank. That's not very tropical. It kind of takes away from the flavor we're going for. He knows he played basketball also in the room or all his jerseys and shit.

Basketball doesn't need to be everywhere. Come on, don't be tactless with it. But I want to know because I wanted to do some fact-checking, so to speak. What are the short-list fish? And I want to tell you if they're actually good or not. I'll let you know. Okay.

So it's a small tank this time around and we're getting a pair of clownfish, the Finding Nemo fish. We're getting a firefish, which is like a small thing. It's well-colored. You could Google it maybe. And what's the other one we had in mind?

I forget. We turned down the hawkfish we turn down the hawkfish turn down the hawkfish yeah they nip at some of the clams and corals we aspire to keep no nippy fish yeah they do look neat though i think maybe you go all in on the purple firefish because that looks very cool yeah that's a dope fish also that fish um isn't super shy it's you know at a wedding that first couple has to hit the dance floor so that before everybody else does sure that's this guy he'll go out and be in the water column and tell the other fish that it's safe here he's good to have around a leader of sorts i don't like that fish you don't like that fish what's wrong with them that fish? What's wrong with him?

That fish got no person. Now, that's a nice fish, right? That's that fucking fish. Is that the Ellen fish? The one that's mean to people? That fish is really cool in this way. It's nobody's fucking victim. If you go into that an enemy, it does not stand for that. However,

it doesn't chase all over the tank and bully other people. Mostly you have shy, timid fish who are just bound to be victims. And you've got big, tough fish who are going to bully everyone. This fish here? I don't know what he's putting up there. That's a sex toy, right? I'm going to fuck that.

Is that a masturbation aid? Yeah, my penis goes in there. Oh, shit. I'm in. Anyway, the clownfish? You can't pick on them because they're tough as nails but they don't pick on you isn't that the ultimate in personalities and are they it'd probably be easier in the long run

if you just go for the friendliest fish you know what I would use a friendly product here's a product for you you want to make some money let's partner on this I'll be the guy who comes up the idea and you'll do all the work. So I saw these fishing lures the other day. They are shockingly realistic. Like when they pull them through water, they look like fish.

So there's got to be a market for high-end fake fish that you would just put a current against and they would just, you know, look like. Like, can you fake it? That's what I'm saying. You know how expensive, how time-consuming what you're undertaking is. You better than anyone. Tell me that I couldn't just fill that bitch up with tap water and throw $300 worth of

perfectly realistic fake fish in there. That would look like anything that you could imagine. What's the rarest, most expensive fish? You want eight of them? Done. Dolphins. You want eight? Not a fish, you

fucking... Your brains are bigger than ours. I think the jewel tang is the most expensive fish. They're like $1,600. There you go. You need one. You could have a coonskin cap full of those. Coonskin cap full of those. Coonskin cap full?

Yeah. You can get a jewel tang. That looks neat. This tang will be here tomorrow. This is a lady called in a cart pillow. What is he doing? He just forgot he was doing the show. I think chat gpt just took

over you were looking for pictures of fish that aren't real but it was the fishing lures like for uh for bass or something like that predatory fish but when they pulled it through the water it was like that looks like that's like a fish like it didn't look like a lure at all it looked completely real but in a house where like think about how people use aquariums you kind of they'll go up and they're like staring at it like they they probably the ultimate is fucking oh here's another one just a fake aquarium that's just an 8k display yes that's pretty good i like that right you wouldn't be able to tell the difference if you

put if you put like that thick glass on the other side of the display to sort of give it a little bit of depth and like like like uh i like that idea that's actually a good one then you can display anything in there you could have a fucking human head floating you have someone behind it like help help it shows the one banging on the glass. Have you seen that glass bridge in some Asian country, probably China, where when you walk on it, suddenly they display cracks in it because it's a screen?

And everybody freaks out because it looks like the bridge under your feet is cracking and falling apart. It'd be the same concept, but make yourself a fake aquarium. Oh, we got you, idiot! I'm just thinking anything to get over a goddamn guppy that

cost 15 hundo that could just die like that because the ph went off a fraction or something or the temperature or the current or some sort of weird parasite got it or like some fungus grew or whatever yeah you're right about that the fish that appeal to me most are inexpensive those clownfish are cheap that fire firefish is $15. Oh, fuck yeah. That looks cool. There's not really a strong correlation between how much I like a fish and how much it costs. That's good.

You'd think there would be because in everything else in life there kind of is. Can you mix in, like I always liked this in aquariums, I would see where it wasn't just fish, where there'd be some kind of crab walking around or something, something else like a little, little, yeah, a whole ecosystem, a little, maybe he doesn't seem to be able to show that. You probably have to pick stuff that like,

didn't obviously eat each other. That might be tough. I was so far. See the chat GPT thing. I'm sorry, Dan. Here it is. So this, that's the same tank I'm getting that's like the answer key this is where do i get that well as this tank can be done um so yeah that's like a laser tag

so i know that like oceanographers are fucking terrible at naming things is is that coral they're called like brain coral or brain something in the what is that called that bottom right little orange brain there's one called brain coral and i don't know if that's it it's got to be brain coral they're terrible at name and shit i i saw this guy the other day he's like i saw a blackbird with with red wings and i thought wonder what these are called it's called blackbird with red wings all the red tipped blackbird dude i was trying to look up uh the name of bluebird i was like i'm trying to name a bluebird and it's like well there's bluebird and blue sparrow and blue this blue jays blue jays yeah all the bird names were pretty fucking lame

yeah and i mean brain coral that's that orange one you looked at wasn't even the one in there that looked the most like a brain. Pigeons have like an iridescent coloring to them sometimes on their breasts. They can be pretty. Yeah. Like I always saw Mike Tyson with those pigeons and like, well, I wouldn't be into it. I was like, that is kind of cool. Like I don't want any pet that I can, I feel bad for animals.

Like I'd feel bad leaving them out there in the coop. I'd feel bad thinking like, wouldn't he be happier if he was flying around and getting dove pussy? Like he doesn't want to live in my coop. Like he's got it good, but like maybe a wildlife is better, like, like better for him.

Like I feel, I feel selfish keeping him my dog. On the other hand, if I let him loose, he just die out. Yeah. It needs you. It's like,

I'm the thing keeping you from all of that out there my dog so he's human sized he sleeps in the bed between jackie and i with his head on my chest and his head is heavy and i'm just like this dog has the best life in the world i gotta get my dog groomed he's uh he's groomed he's huge now he's 50 or 60 pounds or something at 6 months old and his ears are like this long

I gotta get him groomed because he's got so much fuzzy fur that I think he gets hot easily he does not want to get into a bed he sleeps on the hardwood I don't know of people who have dogs that need grooming that do it themselves it's very difficult. Oh yeah.

Like I watch a YouTube channel. I watch a dog grooming YouTube channel. It's an undertaking. Like they've got special products, combs and brushes and, and especially on like a double coated dog. It's a, what does that mean?

They have to, they have this undercoat. That's this thick thermal shit. That's very dense and floofy. And then they have this wiry second coat that doesn't grow back. It's like... What? I trimmed my fucking Malamute's tail because I just wanted to shape it up, right? And I thought, when it grows back in, it'll look right.

That was seven months ago, man. Can you show us a picture of that?'m not gonna shame him like that i don't know in the whatsapp next to the topless pictures no but it doesn't matter because all the other hair grows out on the tail just not the wiry ones right no like there's a spot on his belly where he had a surgery um and that's bristly like like like like my beard like like you can feel that it has never grew back um and there's a spot like when i was like trimming up his tail i like hit i just like lightly grazed the top of his back like that ridge line of him and those little furs that i knocked the tops off of little hairs. They never grew back because his fur does this white to silver to black tipped sort of thing.

I nicked a few of those black tips off. They haven't grown back at all. He's like a porcupine or something. He looks awful. His tail does. We just don't look at his tail. He looks better than he has at any time in his life. Oh, yeah. He's gained so much more weight. He was really underfed when I got him and feeling poorly. He gets earaches every month, so I got to get him back to the vet for another year,

flushing, and some more antibiotics. Get that sorted out. Sucker. Well, you're doing a good job. You're a good dog owner. I also get up every night at 3 in the morning to take him out because the old guy can't make it till 6 a.m.

I forget who I was talking to. I told someone you were getting a dog and they were like, oh man, Kyle the dog. I was like, you don't know. You're so wrong. Kyle is the best dog owner I know. You love dogs. your father loves dogs yeah i i dog family i i i don't know i want their little life to be happy and and as good as it can be so like you know like they're sitting next to me on the couch and i'm like fixing everybody's little

tuffet i like take a pillow and like smoosh it up real good and put a little soft blanket on top and like sit the little pot old the pomeranians got dementia and arthritis so i'm like here you go let's sit you right here and scritch you in there and point you toward the tv like it's like an old person with alzheimer's applying that like affection as an uncle fuck that no shit about human peoples i mean i mean people suck but dogs are great right like like dogs are pretty good yeah i've known very few shitty dogs i mean yellowstone question i does that show go on tv i know it's on peacock network but it's dirty some dirty like r-rated sometimes so you're getting a different version. Just like with Walking Dead,

that's the DVD version you're referring to when they drop F-bombs. They film it a couple different ways. TV broadcast gets one version. TV gets both, but they usually elect to use the PG-13 version for advertising

reasons. Some way down the road they might do like a midnight walking dead marathon or something and throw the f-bombs in right okay but but the same thing's true here you're getting two versions they're just filming it both ways the f-bomb way and the whatever they slip in differently way yeah like that beth in her bath trough thing. Yeah. Okay. I was very confused because Peacock is NBC. NBC is G-rated. Isn't Peacock NBC? To be fair, I don't know where Peacock, where that show goes.

I get it on Peacock. I don't. Dude, the idea of sitting down and watching NBC being broadcast to me makes me nauseous. The idea of sitting through commercials and watching 22 minutes of programming at best out of every 30 I sit there. I'll never do that again. Last time I did that was prison.

You were literally no other option. I also don't like week to week. I feel like week to week makes it... Oh, a new Whopper! You'll never get to try it! Ever! It's going to be limited time only

and it will be out in five years. You'll never get to try that rodeo burger. Yeah, I watch it. Last of Us is a good example. That last episode, I would have enjoyed it more if I could have binge-watched it. Instead, I need every episode to be so good because there's a week in between them. I like binge watching.

I hate it. Binge watching definitely takes something out of it. I think, but it's worth it sometimes. It's almost like rushing to sex with a woman rather than maybe having a courtship that lasts over a few weeks until you you get in bed like both are good for for different reasons but we're always going to pick the immediate sex um even though it might not be the the most ideal situation and that's how i feel about streaming if i could choose give it all to me now what am i gonna say yeah you hang on to that till i'm ready give me all of it It's like a family-sized bag of chips. Don't tell me what size.

It might be. I can't remember what it is. Who has the model? I believe the two of us are a family. Yeah. Netflix. Netflix has a hybrid model where they'll give you two to three episodes per day. And they make it so you can't sit down

and just zoom through the whole thing right now. That is for the best, usually. I can't remember what it was recently, but it was like, yeah, we get two or three episodes a day. That's plenty. It was the Guillermo del Toro Cabinet of Mysteries

scary shit from Halloween. I saw one not long ago where i think they have sometimes i don't know about netflix but they'll release the first two or three episodes and then go week to week so they'll hook you with some content that's amazon's model okay yeah amazon did does that with the boys and uh they're premiere shit. They'll throw out that little tasting of episodes. You get two or three, and then you are invested. It takes two or three to get you invested. That's clever.

You jumped in at a great time with The Walking Dead. But you know what I saw today? It's Black History Month. So on my Amazon banner, you know and and um so on my like amazon banner it had it was like they they took three african americans in media and like threw them up there side by side and uh one of them and the first two was like oh yeah yeah that's a good show oh yeah yeah i know i think i just elbow might have been one of them and then the third one was the fucking speedster from the boys. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. The whole point of him is that he sells out his culture for money and that he's like a bad African.

Like he's his own brother is like, I don't want anything to do with you. Go sell your menthol cigarettes. Like like that guy's like an Uncle Tom race trader. If you're if you're a black man, it was like how tone deaf that you got him up there. Y'all just pick the popular black guy and threw him up there. His character is the opposite of that. Or maybe I'm just stupid for thinking of it that way.

You know what? I don't know anything about this, but I'm on your team. I'm on your corner. I'm looking forward to more of the boys. I guess that's coming soon, right? Maybe. Speaking of the boys, have you watched that other show he was in far away uh the boys guy the main um the blonde he's the blonde main oh homelander yeah he's australian right yeah homelander uh banshee there's a show on hbo

called banshee he was in have Have you heard of that or watched it? Yeah, yeah. I've seen clips from it on YouTube, but I've never seen it, no. I've watched two episodes now, so it's not like I've seen very much of it. It's pretty fucking cool. This is all in the fucking preview, so it's not anything weird. It's just the main guy gets out of prison, and because he knows some super you know tech guy um a couple things come to pass i don't want to spoil but he begins impersonating in a town the new sheriff and he is like this fresh out of prison guy who is the sheriff of this town now because of this guy who you know changed all of his ids and everything and made him a new identity. And a couple things had to happen in a movie-style way for it to work out.

But it's incredibly violent. There's a lot of fighting. There's tits, Woody. I know that's huge for you. You need tits, so there's tits in there. They're not huge tits, but there are tits. And there could be more. What do you refer to that? You know him.

Yeah, of course.'m under under 15 i assume no not on this show that i i don't think i don't think all the producers are in jail so i don't think that was the the thing but it's pretty cool i i was watching it and just had the thought of like i need to mention this show to woody and kyle because i never suggest shows ever i just don't have the i feel like i'm never the one who like finds a show that's good first or and she is good yeah i think it's good the main guy anthony star that's his name from um from the boys i like him a lot and i'm only two maybe three episodes in but it's it's one of those shows that like kicks off very very quickly with the action so i know you'll like that about it woody hbo yeah it's it's a it's not an hbo original it's one of those that's on hbo but it's a cinemax show but i borrowed my son's friend's hbo account for like three years and then I found out the whole time

it was included in my AT&T like internet package. Now I just use my own login. Colin, can you talk to Steve again for me? Daddy needs to watch Game of Thrones. HBO is cool, but we can only watch it from the downstairs living room TV

because that's where that one time he signed in. It's so nice when that happens. I still can watch blues games because someone logged into their cable account. One of my friends logged into it and he's gone out of his way to be like, I was going to change the password. And then I remembered and I didn't. Thanks so much, hell yeah i think i've got all that i think i've got a bunch of sports shit because i know i get all the brave stuff i'm hoping i've got the big game i want to see that did you see uh the the breaking bad commercial for those stupid pop chips where they de-age um the breaking bad guys walter i haven't

but pop chips fucking suck yeah right they're the they're the worst fucking chips i fucking hate pop chips it's not don't tell me it's a chip it's not a fucking some takis i've never had don't bother don't bother don't give me money hot cheetos and takis um woody big ufc event this weekend i just wrote that down. Pound for pound number one taking on pound for pound number two, I think. This is huge. The champion at 145 taking on the champion

at 155. Unbeaten versus a guy who's on an absurd win streak that includes taking out the guy that I thought was just the best in the world, Max Holloway, three fucking times in a row. Can I add to this? I'm sorry.

The 145 pounder used to be a 210 pound rugby player. Professional rugby player at 210 pounds. Five, six. Now he fights at 145. Yeah. Zach, can you find pictures of him? I've heard other fighters talk about him. They're like, he used to be 215 pounds.

You know what kind of muscle you build when you walk around at 215 pounds at 5'6"? It's a different kind of muscle. He ain't lifting weights. He's walking around all day every. All right? All day every. Alexander. Yeah, you know who said that?

Israel Alexander is the guy you're quoting. Might have been. I made most of that. He said it. It's really interesting because he's taking on one of those chin-bearded cocksuckers from Dagestan. He's taking on Khabib Nurmagomedov's

heir to be. They call this Islam. They're like, yeah's taken on like Khabib Nurmagomedov's like air to beat. They call this Islam. They're like, yeah, he's basically Khabib, but with better hands. Well, he's taken on a guy in Volkanovski here who does not have any quit in him. He's often counted out. He is the underdog 250 to one, I think. My money is on him literally and figuratively. I think Volkanovsky gets the win. He is far shorter than his opponent. He will be way shorter. It's going to be noticeable. Here's what, here's my take on this one, Woody.

Here's my, uh, amateur, uh, uh, fight analysis. I don't think he can keep Volk down. I think he, I think if he can get Volk down, he won't be able to hold in there. I think he'll find that a guy whose legs are 20 inches long, he's not able to do that Dagestani Anaconda bullshit to someone who's that long. I think that he can pull his leg out the same way you pull your arm out of an arm bar.

I bet he can just draw his leg out of islam's clutches one at a time they're so goddamn short and uh nobody's faster than volk like like you're gonna tell me this guy's like faster there's no fucking way and volk doesn't have any quit he's gonna go all five rounds and i don't think islam has the uh the the cardio for all five rounds of trying to take volk down and hold him there um like i said volk is 250 uh to one underdog it was three to one um i think it's only at 250 because of the you know the betting um offset some of it so big underdog and i don't know why i think he's gonna win i think islam's gonna win he's one of those guys who just seems to win like every minute of every fight he's in is he still undefeated

islam i'm not sure i'm unaware um and it just seems like his last five six fights no one can do anything everything that happens is what is wished happened. And it's just control from start to end. What he did to Oliveira was shocking. He grabbed that man and squeezed him, and that man reacted like a car had just parked on his chest. It's so heavy, those guys. Don't you want to feel his squeeze? To know. If he promises to stop. squeeze to know if he promises to stop you know he's not gonna hurt you like like he could if he wanted to i mean he'd kill you if he wants like you're

giving him the ability to kill you but i mean he already had it if he's in the same room with you then he didn't so like yeah dude squeeze me until i tap like i want to feel it like don't break any fucking blood vessels in my fucking neck dude dude. Don't prove me the point here. You don't have to break me, but ramp it up slow. Let me feel. Do you remember when Ben Askren squeezed that watermelon and broke it? Yeah.

Then a bunch of other UFC fighters tried to squeeze a watermelon and couldn't. You could. I didn't know that it was that hard to squeeze a watermelon. I guess it is. Do you think you could break it by squeezing it? I don't think hard to squeeze a watermelon. I guess it is. Do you think you could break it by squeezing it? I don't think I could break a watermelon by squeezing it, no. I feel like I haven't handled enough watermelon. It depends how you do it.

Like, I guess, am I wrapping around it and hugging it to my chest? Kind of like a can't lose. I thought he, like, headlocked it. Oh, no, I'm not going to hurt my arm doing that. It's just going to hurt the more I squeeze. What's going to stop me is probably pain first. Like, it'm going to hurt my arm doing that. It's just going to hurt the more I squeeze. What's going to stop me is probably pain first. Like, it's going to hurt. Like, putting the inside of my arm against it is going to hurt.

Like, I don't know. I feel like I'm going to. Zach is sleeping on the images. Like, even if I am strong enough, I don't feel it's going to be worth hurting myself to do it. But he did it. It was shocking. That's Alexander Volkanovsky.

Yeah, at 210 and 145 those are the two weights you're looking at there if what they say is true he's a very broad guy on the left looks yeah he's like you didn't get any thinner he's like if uh like like george costanza dedicated himself to getting yeah like that size and build of guy life as a short stocky ball fighter. I'm George. I really hope he wins. It would be massive. He'd be.

I mean, look, it would be. That's one of the top three fights of the year because Conor McGregor's coming back to fight Michael Chandler, and he's going to do the Ultimate Fighter reality show. Michael Chandler? Taylor. It's huge news. Conor's coming back. And you can pretty much kind of narrow down when the fight will be

based on how long you have to be in USADA and when the show usually airs. But I'm going to watch that show. The Ultimate Fighter, Taylor, is the reality show where two current fighters both coach teams up and the teams verse each other and they fight and shit. I didn't even know they were still doing it. They're on season 31.

I'm very psyched. Three seasons a year? I don't know. I'm psyched. I can't believe he's coming back to do that. I think Michael Chandler is a very good opponent, someone that Conor can actually beat. I think it's going to be fireworks. It's probably a one-round fight.

Somebody's getting smoked. That's why Chandler's there. Chandler's not there because he grinds out wins. Chandler's there because his last five fights amount to eight minutes or something like that. Like he goes in there and destroys or gets destroyed. That's exaggeration, but it's always fireworks. He's fun to watch.

Damn, I'm pulling for Michael Chandler. He's from High Ridge, Missouri. I know exactly where that is. He's a really nice guy. He was a champion in another organization, and then he entered thec maybe just on the other side of his prime but near it and hasn't had the success that people expected they thought he was right there with the best of the best and it seems like at least in my foggy memory every time he fights it's like the best loss you could have hoped for you know he was really sporting yeah he had him

for a second there but he lost again and again. That's who you want on your TV. That's the guy you want. Like, Khabib was boring as shit to me to watch fight. Give me Derek Lewis over Khabib every time. I don't care if he wins or loses. He's going to go out there and something crazy is going to happen. By the way, Derek Lewis is washed.

Derek Lewis went out and got his ass beat. That's fake. That was fake. I didn't know for sure it was fake until obviously he showed up at weigh-ins and his big old fat ass is still 267. I was totally fooled. I saw several pictures. Yeah, it's Photoshop or something.

Or old shit. Or he just went back to the Popeyes because he showed up unmotivated, fat, looking bad. And he got smoked by a very powerful russian dude like that dude bullied him whooped his ass i've seen him lose to a guy i forget if he was russian no he beat a guy he was losing all fight he was just getting rocked but he's got dynamite in his hands and he just landed that one punch you saw that live yeah 12 seconds

to go or something like that yeah it's like the only difference between his recent loss and that win was five good seconds like he taylor he's like a video game character you know it's like when you're you're waiting for enough stamina built to build up throw one punch he's like he's doing that like he's like hands on his knees he's bent over he's clearly like he's like he won't even move and the other guy is like like moving around and bouncing and then anytime he gets close enough derrick just goes like a bear he throws this crazy bear paw across not not literally bear but this big overhand right usually and if he ever hits the guy and he did he hit this guy and it was they're all over 225 but these two in particular

are like giant human beings and that man was instantly unconscious it was just it was wild because he did get his ass kicked for five rounds like derrick lewis has made a lot of money to be as shitty a fighter as he is yeah i i still think he's interested also he gives some of the best interviews people think so i think uh strickland right sean strickland's the best interview in the ufc he's better than mcgregor lewis is the my balls were hot guy right sean strickland's on there like he's like yeah you jabs you don't have any fighting anymore we knock that shit out of you back in ww2 hey like most of you guys are like most of you guys are like femme boys and shit you got your fucking pillows you got your fucking pillow you're jerking off dude i'm just messing with you he's like that guy sounds funny this isn't word for word this is this is like what the ai says strickland would say because this is totally on target. He goes to one of the reporters.

They're interviewing him. He's like, hey, man, what do you got? Are you married? Yeah, you're married. All right, I can say it now. You're a weird looking dude, man. I'm just saying. I bet your wife's beautiful, but you, fuck.

You're like a cartoon character. Okay, Popeye over here. Look at him. It's like weak Popeye. It's like weak Popeye. He's just ripping he's just riffing on time just and and he'll go for 30 fucking minutes just just being mean and politically incorrect yeah it's great it's hilarious great sounds like a uh a guy who's

got a career in broadcasting after he's done beating people oh he it's not from a smart place like chael sunnen chael sunnen would come on And he's like I'm the man with the plan I'm the arm With the charm I'm the beast from the east He's out there like Muhammad Ali Mixed with Stone Cold Steve Austin He'll do a fucking spin

He's got shit going on This guy is just a rant Just unbridled Brain being spilled out. And like he rarely is on the losing end of the shit talk. And I saw Ariel make him look stupid. He was he was like, I don't think you're a real fan. Come on. Come on. You're like a fucking geek.

You're a fucking nerd, dude. If you weren't getting paid by ESPN, you wouldn't be covering fighting. And he's like, I'm the original guy that covered that covered fighting i was there in 1991 i was there before joe rogan i was there before dana white or like he's like breaking down like all he's like i was the one who did this and that i'm the one who broke this out into the into the espn i'm the guy who did and it's like he's like i'm the one that won 10 fucking broadcast awards in a row. And Sean is like, all right,

all right. You know what? I really like your fucking energy. That was good. Ariel is undefeated on the mic. As far as I know. Yeah. I wouldn't pick a fight with somebody who's on the right side of things.

Most of the time. It's, it's hard to win at that point. But did you guys see the state of the union? No i saw stuff about it and if you said i saw the part where he played the republicans on the uh social security thing yeah he he uh you didn't watch that like whole thing did you i did damn yeah how long is it uh uh an hour almost and there was a lot there's a lot of like response stuff from huckabee and lady huckabee with the cockey like is that her real eye or did she get kicked by a horse like what the fuck happened that chunky bitch is the governor of arkansas all right oh i didn't know

she was a governor show me show me a picture of the governor of Arkansas, Zach, with her crazy cock eye. I don't know if it's real. She looks like Michael Bisping has a glass eye, and his shit looks more real than hers. It does. She probably got kicked by a horse or something, and I'll feel bad. Or she jumped in front of a racist bullet and saved a child or something. She probably did something cool. Probably, yeah.

Yeah, that senator that wears the the little the little futuristic eye patch that guy's cool as shit he looks like a star trek villain or something are you talking about crenshaw the house of rep from texas if he's yeah he's definitely the only that is all right get out of here like like that's that's from her fucking her instagram or something yeah she facetuned that shit to get that level that's so funny i was's like, no, find a worse one. A worse one. A real one. Alright, anyway, Zach's in love with her. He's from Arkansas, of course.

He knows better. He loves her so much. Someone doesn't know how to speak truth to power. It looks like her own face is deep faked on. Zach's got the result of lock and load on his monitor right now picture you gotta you gotta work harder on this um anyway um we should just rip on zach's love affairs

every week i mean you know um so yeah state of the union so here was my take from the state of the union okay of course you mentioned assault weapons with your grab marble in your mouth bullshit i don't like that. That aside, cut that out. The rest of it was pretty fucking good. I don't know if he was lying or if all that stuff that he promised is happening, but my goodness, that sounded like a lot of good things. And then getting everything from infrastructure stuff to enormous amounts of infrastructure,

everything from infrastructure stuff to enormous amounts of infrastructure, but also semiconductors in particular manufacturing, combating China on those chips. He mentioned the percentage had dropped to 10% of the world's chips are made here. He mentioned insulin prices being capped for everyone on Medicare, Medicaid to $35 per month now. And he's striving, he's like pushing Congress to make that universal for all Americans,

$35 cap the month. It's like, who's not clapping at that. And then like, he gets into the shouting match 20 minutes into it with the Republicans. Now everybody's like, Oh, dark Brandon locked them down.

It's like, you started yelling in the middle of your speech with Marjorie Taylor Green, the representative from district eight of Georgia or wherever she is, like somewhere near me, the cab or something. It's like I thought he lowered himself. I think he lowered himself by shouting in the middle of that last year. Last time when she shouted at him, he ignored it and everybody gave her a boo. And then he moved and he just kept speaking.

And it was good it was like yeah don't don't fucking like yell back at her like like don't engage security time or was it that was mocking his son's death i believe and all right it got spun that way he i think he was mentioning something about like veterans who'd been who'd been like who died over there or something and she's like because of you and like in the same breath he's talking about his son and it's like it didn't it didn't it didn't come off well probably if she knew what he was about to say she would have handled it differently she'd have picked her spot a little better yeah i think but uh those outbursts like the british do there were quite a lot of outbursts there were a lot of people yelling i saw i don't

know whenever i see that it's interesting because he'll be like, oh, you didn't say that. You didn't. And the guy's like, no. And I'm like, one of these guys is like lying right now in front of everyone in the fucking country. It was the Republican. They showed a fucking Reddit video of him like, oh, you don't want to cut Medicare and Medicaid? Well, let me just play this video of you saying you want to cut Medicare and Medicaid. And it's like, dude, if they got a video you cut medicare medicaid you probably shouldn't say

you don't want to do that it's like when what's her name um i think it was the the actually pretty um crazy republican or it might have been marjorie taylor green she was at a testimony they had her under oath and everything and she's like did you say he's like you said that nancy pelosi was uh was a terrorist like i never said that you's like you said that nancy pelosi was uh was a terrorist like i never said that you're saying you never said nancy pelosi was a terrorist no i wouldn't say something like that all right exhibit b video there that that yeah the 30 seconds she goes whoa well um i believe what i said was that by her not securing the border she was a traitor to the the constitution by not upholding her oh i may have said something like and it's like yeah you said she was a traitor to the the competition by not upholding her oh i may have

said something like and it's like yeah you said she was a traitor let's look at it she was just lying and then they pulled out dudes like okay well let's pull out the fucking scroll yep here here you are it never seems to hurt him as much as you expect it to if you pay a lot of attention to politics you're like oh there's a trend of hippocrites on this side or that side but uh to the rest of the world they don't know biden um biden wasn't as marble mouthed as i've seen him at times i i legitimately think they like give him something to help him a little i'm not saying they're like jabbing with fucking amphetamines but they give grandpa his like cup of coffee or whatever make it double yeah whatever he's a nap yeah he came out there well rested his eyes weren't as squinty as they

usually are they were very squinty i mean mine are squinty because i'm stoned but his was squinty because he's holy shit and uh but there were times when i can deliver that speech better than he can i can read that teleprompter better than he can. Yes. And I'm not, I'm not, I don't feel like this is me being like, yeah, I could dunk on that guy. No,

we can all like, cause here's the thing. If you're a professional communicator though, like you, well, I'm, I'm also going to practice diligently with like a team of people are speech writers.

Get in the room. All right. My team, watch me deliver this speech. Tell me if I'm putting enough emphasis on we, okay? Like that's gonna be a whole conversation we have, which words get the emphasis. And I need that teleprompter to have coding.

I need, there's a difference between how I say words that are underlined versus the boldened words versus the italicized words. Like we're gonna have like a speech code that you're gonna have to teach me. I'm gonna need professionals to come in. This is to be like the king speech, god damn it, because I'm not going to go out there to present these ideas and get the American people to stand behind them and stand behind me and flub my words and not put emphasis on it. And sometimes he was. I needed closed

captions to understand the president. I got the broad strokes of it, but an American american industries and power wait what industries of power industries for powerful industries i feel like i'm playing jeopardy sometimes it's it's hard to follow him and it's it's worrying i agree with everything one is not very good i'm sorry good speech good speech and on the whole though like i liked his speech a lot if he cut out the gun control gobbledygook it's a fucking a minus speech it's good one he's not as bad as the uh compilations of his worst moments make him seem to be but two he's not as good as the president should be and those two things can both be true

uh yeah on social security that was the moment that like the internet went crazy for i guess the republicans said that they wanted to cut social security he's like i'm not naming you by name to be polite but you did say it and uh they're all like no no no and eventually he gets a standing ovation to not cut social security from both sides of the aisle it's like apparently this is a total we're in like bipartisan agreement not to touch social security this is good we just got something done here and i'm like it feels like you fucking 3d chest these people you know until tomorrow in that moment back to in that moment i wanted to be able to be like god for just a second and be able to like step

in that room and say hang on everybody shut up y up. Did y'all just get something done in Congress? That doesn't happen often. Here's a thought. After you're done with the speech, hang around for an hour and a half. Let's do a little voting. Let's do a little horse trading in front of the American people. All right, what's next?

Do it like it's a fucking town square. What's next? They're not going to actually get shit done. All right like it's a fucking town square. Like, all right, what's next? They're not going to actually get shit done. All right, let's go state by state. Missouri, what do you need? Well, I'm going to pay right now, them roads and bridges. Hey, okay, all right.

How much? $30 billion? Will that do it? Well, over 15 years. I don't want to pay no taxes, though. And can my brother-in-law have the contracts? Man, I'd love to see that play out. Let's do some funding right now.

Let's do our military the same way. That'd be fun. It should. It should be a lottery for every year. What industry gets what amount of money? Just do it. Uh-oh. A whole lot into public school meals fuck uh not well opposite the military that the dies

all led am i the only one who thinks the school lunch should stay exactly the way they are i don't i haven't been in school in so long i don't know what they're like they're exactly the way they were when we were there it's the square pizza the the the corn in the corner um those like fries that are shaped like roundy fries with smiley faces on them chicken nuggets steak nuggets mashed potatoes maybe fruit the meal shouldn't change that true mood change would we did you have true mood or did you have um what did we have it's the fucking ice cream with the the wooden spoon on it oh Oh, we had those.

Those were fucking tasty. But I'm talking about the chocolate or the milk. What brand milk did your school have? What was the second one you said? Mayfield. I think it was that one. I can blow away that you know. Most people would.

Depending on where you were, you'll have Trumu a lot on the West Coast, I think. But it'd be Mayfield throughout the Southeast. It definitely wasn't Trumu. And the Midwest, like I think. But it'd be Mayfield throughout the South. It definitely was a lot of it in the Midwest, like all that. Yeah. T.R.U. M.O.O. And there's like a cartoon cow on there.

But that square, that rectangular pizza that we all had to fucking gobble up. Oh, no. I drank two milks every lunch period. Every single one. The only chocolate milk I drank was school chocolate milk. It was like that. I didn't I never would like make it at home, but I would drink chocolate milk i drank was school chocolate milk it was like that i didn't i never would like make it at home but i would drink chocolate milk at school mostly i would just eat the pizza and then that was it like like all everything else was so gross

i was just i ate everything i was so hungry do you have a salad bar fuck no like oh i'm talking about like i'm thinking about like grade school right now with like the because we didn't have milk cartons in high school was your high school salad bar good Kyle? it wasn't as good as like most restaurants would be

I think there were like three salad dressings but there was like bacon bits fucking croutons and endless salad you know that's what I would do most of the time I would just fucking make a mega salad with ranch and uh and i love that shit you know that was so much better than anything else our student council like campaigned on getting a salad bar to come to the school

and they actually accomplished it i didn't think student council's ever accomplished anything but they got our school a salad bar and um you know i'm not really into lettuce or bacon or whatever but you put the lettuce i like tomato and you could put all the ham you wanted on i have as much ham as a good sandwich would because you make it this is a woody thing it's a fucking meat salad and um it was what i would do when i didn't like what was for lunch did they wait at our high school they weighed salads if you bought them all the meals at the same price and uh the best salad bar i think i've seen besides some shit in vegas i guess but i don't even i'm where they're by the crab and the lobster and stuff but um the best salad bar was at that brazilian steakhouse

we went to i think um i remember thinking like damn it's i'm almost tempted to get the salad bar because over the endless meats but because you went over there it was like y'all have 12 different soups is is that three different kinds of chili alone it was this huge amazing really high quality salad bar but like you know everything was like was nice and clean and it looked great. But the alternative was endless meat. Have you guys noticed the end of every show we start talking about food? And I think Margaret is guilty to me because I'm definitely fucking famished right now. I want to eat, but I found that pattern of once it gets like three hours and 40 minutes, I'm like, what are you guys up to?

All right, well, I've got burgers. Which chips are bullshit? Last chip is like pop chips. I got one more here on the scroll. Dr. Pepper. A food-related topic. Dr. Pepper. I always thought of the doctor as a doctor, and then I thought pepper, like salt and pepper, right?

Is that what y'all think of when you hear Dr. Pepper? I thought of it more as a doctor and then i thought pepper like you know salt and pepper right is that what y'all think of when you hear dr pepper i i thought of it more as a doctor like with a silly name because it sounded yeah but but his name's pepper like salt and pepper yeah sure yeah it's not though i i just it came to me the other day it's like no no no it's pep because this is supposed to give you energy. This is Dr. Pep-er. A thing that gives you pep. I thought for sure you were going to tell me it was the vegetable all along. I'm like, okay. Well, pepper's not a vegetable, is it? Yes, it is.

Oh, wait, no, no. Like black pepper? Could it be a fruit? The green one. Is it a form of, is it a mineral? I think those are seeds mineral Those are seeds right Black peppercorn The big green one it's like bigger than an apple

Yeah That's a fruit Oh where's your onion you're supposed to be eating onion Oh yeah I forgot about the onion thing Oh you're hungry boy I promise if I had an onion I would go take a bite of onion

Don't worry folks I'll make sure he gets an onion Text me about the fucking onion I'm gonna mail you an onion You'll eat the onion that I sent I like this timeline Please mail me an onion You'll eat the onion of my choosing

I'm gonna do that thing where I just put postage on the side of an onion. It's going to travel. Who the fuck would send me an onion and a used maxi pad? Can you mail this? Remind me about the onion thing.

You'll be reminded when the onions arrive. Send me onions. What a bushel of onions. Give me a sweeter yellow onion. Oh, no, no, no. You lost that. You're getting the most acrid white onion that I can fucking stir up.

I'll find some sort of disgusting onion grown on the other side of the planet. I'll find the Medusa's anus onion of Portugal. Send me one like the size of an orange peel. It's called the devil's testicle onion. You can only get people

to eat it by tricking them. It's like, oh, now you're going to put on your pants all right let's call the show i do want to eat maybe go uh i could do what you talk all night yeah maybe check out bruce green yeah don't give him some love people been giving him shit about fucking harry potter that's that's wild that's ridiculous give him some support that's nonsense to hate on someone's already wizard game she's already a billionaire lock and load check it out and real dbg.com code pka 23 wonkyweeds.com code pka 20 check it out guys you know you want that stuff pka 634