Painkiller Already - PKA 642: Trump Arrested, UFC Buys WWE, Harry Potter Reboot

Episode Date: April 8, 2023

pka 642 guests had trouble no guests tonight just the boys taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lock and load and real dbg.com bunch of wonderful products we'll talk more about them later yeah a little disappointing with uh the situation and it's it was it's act of god folks act of god harley lives in a third world country of course It's called Quebec. And they have on and off electricity. It's normal for them there. Don't make fun of them. It's not appropriate. They have a difference. They're not Americans like us. They're not first world. They're sensitive about it.

And so we're trying to be sensitive. He says that he's expecting his electricity to be back sometime mid next week, which is very in line with Canadian public service response rates. They got too many people out snatching guns up. They can't get the power back on this week. Maybe next week.

Yeah, maybe next week. There's a bit of a waiting line for the power, much like health care. Exactly. Yeah. And Dick is ill. Is he dying? Is that what we heard? Verified?

He's not gone death's door. I think he's going to make it, though. Oh, we'll see. Fingers crossed. That's what we hope. I think he's going to make it, though. Oh, we'll see. Fingers crossed.

I think we got it hopefully set up for next week with those two to come on. I hope. Because I like those two. They're fun. When they were, like, beefing on Twitter, I did no research on what they were arguing about. But I just enjoyed watching it. Let me ask you this. Without knowing anything, did Dick lose again? He loses every beef. on what they were arguing about, but I just enjoyed watching it because he asked you this without, without knowing anything.

Did Dick lose again? He loses every beef. No, I think Dick's. I was told Dick's got a win. Yeah. I don't think Harley knew all the facts before he started, but,

but, but that's just what I heard. Second hand. No, it'd be fun to hear from those guys. Yeah. I saw Dick lose to destiny a couple times and i lost to destiny to the ridiculous argument of like paint chips in the 1930s or the reason for racial disparity or something like that and he still out debated me so it's a hard win yeah well yeah i don't

give a shit about hearing them debate whatever fucking issue on the boxing card i just want to kind of ascertain what they're upset about and then keep them arguing like yeah just keep them fighting about it and bickering because they're both gregarious guys who like to laugh and joke and they can both roll with punches but one's way bigger than the other so yes but it's online you don't know that well you know i'd love to see that boxing match maybe it could be a real thing canada versus mexico yeah yeah i don't think dick's gonna win that fight so we can let mexico be his main flag yeah i'm confused because how big is dick is he you guys are acting like he's small like well just compared to man he's like he's he's a fucking giant in my mind dick it's a towering figure.

Towering figure. I think he's probably like six foot or so. But Harley's probably about six foot, maybe a little less. Hasn't Dick been a boxer for like decades or something? But he's all broken up. He injures himself all the time. Dick's all broken down. He always talks about that.

He tore his bicep bowling. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. I just give a lot of no car and like if you told me that dick didn't play the guitar like he used to but he's 15 years into it i'd be like he's good though right like he's been doing it for 15 years like like i get it he's got that terrible blister but he's good right he's 15 years in he's been off blister those 15 years i don't know what debilitating problem guitarists have.

Arthritis would have been a benefit. I think Dick is about a foot and a half shorter than Harley. And also suffering from multiple health issues. Well, Harley is a competing athlete. Harley is seven and a half feet. That's a lot. Yeah. Well, I mean, Dick's like five foot four or something like that.

He's ole. I'm going to choose to believe that. Mighty Mouse, they call him. I don't think that Dick is the kind of guy who would ever jump in the ring and fight someone. It doesn't seem like Dick's personality. Dick is a troll,

and he's very fucking good at it. He's good at getting people upset. As i watched him responding to harley about this boxing thing i could tell dick does not care either way about this boxing thing but he saw an opportunity to rile someone up and create something and he did and what were the positions it was i don't even know i don't I don't even know. I don't even know. I was just like just laughing at it. But it's some bickering about like the boxing organization.

And they kicked somebody out for like training with Sam Hyde briefly. Like this guy was going to fight in the creator class. I think creator class. Is that right? And then he trained with Sam Hyde. And then they were like, hey, you can't do that. We're kicking you out. You're not in the competition anymore. And then a bunch of people were like, Hey, you can't do that. We're kicking you out. You're not in the competition anymore.

And then a bunch of people were like, Whoa, you're kicking this guy out just because he like for 40 minutes or whatever, like through some hands with Sam Hyde, like he's not affiliated with him. Sam's not going to be in his corner. And then I think Zach says you have it backwards,

but I'm likely confused. I don't know. Harley. That's why we're going to have them on folks because they're the participants who know what's happening to them that's not me from from botching it and getting every detail wrong taylor what's your best guess of what the whole thing's about well if you have an hour like i'll just i think it involves the animorphs oh that says you're right i'm very confused hell yeah damn i'm on I got my finger on the fucking pulse of America.

Yeah, you do. Of Harley and Dick. But damn, that sucked. I woke up this morning and I was like, oh, Thursday, PKA Day. And I'm like, oh yeah! Dick and Harley are on. This is going to be a really fun one. And so I was like, bummed out. It'll still be a fun one. Sometimes it's good just the boys. Yeah, I enjoy that too. We don't do enough

of these. But like, you guys know we all do the show together sometimes we get a text on thursday of like the guest is this person and i'm like oh like like what the hell am i gonna talk to this fucking guy about and then other times it's like it's dick and harley or and it's, oh, okay. I can really... They're going to domineer huge portions of conversation. You know who's my put your feet on the desk and enjoy the good show guest?

Anthony Cumia. That guy is a pro. He's always on top of it. If you say something funny, he hits it back. If you say nothing, he'll say something funny. What else do you need? He's got that radio instinct that people don't have really like he doesn't allow dead air like if you've ever noticed that on episodes where

we have him like he had like he's so used to that from being on real ass radio like if there's dead air he immediately jumps in because that's like what a pro does and so i i love doing a show with him it's great i don't know i haven't watched his actual program in many, many years, but I listened to old ONA constantly. You linked me some clips the other day. And so now I'm getting recommended them more and more. And I guess Jim Norton does this character called,

is it uncle Paul? Sure. Yeah. So he does this pedophile character and he, he talks about, yeah, gotta help the little boys get their shorts down in the bathroom. They can't get them down. Got to help them into the bathtub.

You got to watch them leave themselves. And sometimes you got to give them a little pat on the bottom to help them get the last little bit out. You want to get it out, right? And they're like, someone goes, Jesus Christ. He's like, what? You want him to keep it in there? You want him to keep it in there? You want to get out every drop?

That's what I say. It's really uncomfortable. It's reprehensible, but you just look up Jim Norton. You want uncomfortable? Try it without cleaned out bowels. Jesus, Taylor, you're sicko. What Kyle just did is not even

5% as reprehensible as the character of Uncle Paul. Just so just look up jim norton uncle paul and there's a compilation of maybe two hours two and a half hours and it's a character like is the only purpose is to upset everyone else in the room like that's the whole point because opie hated uncle paul and you could hear an opie's voice like he'd be like oh because paul would show up and start there'd be like a story about like opie's bring up did you hear about that little boy with the said turtle at the amusement park you know because it was an old show with that

viral clip and he'll be like yeah and then after that i took him and i showed him a new game a private game in the woods and it's like it's like stop it fucking Uncle Paul it's it's humor that doesn't play anymore does he still do that I was gonna say like pedo jokes they're they're hard to tell now they're he did it the fact he did a silly voice in a character makes it easier to be

palatable like Uncle Paul yeah it's Uncle Paul and he's got a didn't say that the character he plays yes he's innocent that's true and it's uncle paul and he's got a limb norton didn't say that the character he plays yes he's innocent that's true and it's the same thing of like of like the world war ii collector who only has nazi stuff if jim norton had 15 characters and every one of them was a noxious pedophile you'd go okay well why are there so many uncles in this but like he has a million characters and so it's the same way where a guy's like,

yeah, I got this Nazi helmet, but it's because it kind of fills out the room. Check out this America and Italy stuff also. Ten years ago, I sold T-shirts that said, Uncle with benefits. Those jokes don't fly anymore. I don't think. I don't know.

You could not pay me to wear that shirt. No? No. What does that mean? What does it mean? I don't understand what it means. I don't know what it means. I always thought whenever I see a little kid wearing a Father of the Year shirt, it tickles me.

I like to see that. Like a 14-year-old dude wearing a Father of the Year shirt. Something about that just really gets me going. Love that. It tickles me. I like to see that. A 14-year-old dude wearing a Father of the Year shirt. Something about that just really gets me going. Love that. It tickles you greatly. Yeah. I like those trashy shows where the teenagers have kids. They're like 14, 15.

They're like, well, I just decided I want to have sex. Now I'm going to be 28 while my kid's in high school. Shit. Do you ever talk to a teen parent about how it happened i know how it happened yeah yeah i do too your responsibility sin i uh i have i talked to a team first of all i couldn't get anybody to fuck me at this point in my life and i was like how did you do that and his girlfriend was hot i this before, I think, but it's been a long time.

His girlfriend was super hot. He was super not. And they were dating for some reason. I don't know. And she was fucking him for some reason. Again, I'm not sure why. But I could talk to this guy and he explained that they had sex and they didn't have a baby. And then they had sex again and they didn't have a baby.

And he's like, you know what? I guess that proves that i'm not fertile i guess we are free to just fucking cream pie all we want and they'll never be a baby it's true about two months later he realized teenagers are actually quite fertile and uh there she was like eight months pregnant in 10th grade, which is 15 years old for you. It's good luck. Did they keep her in school or did she like switch schools when she got really pregnant? When she got really pregnant, she stayed in school for as long as she could call that eight and a half months or something. Like she was pretty much full term as a student. And then I don't remember her coming back. I think they should pull him out of

school. I don't think he should be able to go to high school if you're pregnant. I think they should shame them. They should send us to a special place. It gives hope to the boys like me who aren't having sex that it's possible. Yeah, and then people are going to get pregnant to get out of school. Oh, they should castrate the boy. I don't think that's

appropriate. I think they should probably have a stern This was your idea. You're backing off now? Was it my idea? Okay, then I'm in favor of it. That's all it takes, man. If only I could get you on board with circumcision. You never will. My mind is made up. You love Hillary.

I love Hillary. She's cool. She's great. She has hot sauce in her purse it makes her likable God I hate that woman she's awful just the worst never been funny or charismatic ever not even on accident

she's not coming back do you think she's ever drank blood no I don't think she's ever drank blood I don't know she hasn't and you can't what it really is is an unfalse thing i know for sure i know for sure that taylor's grandma has never been a part of some sort of uh a a circle of trust where we all drink blood and and and you know maybe there's

some dead children on the floor i don't know that about hillary clinton they don't do that in missouri they're into more of a more of a new york thing sort of thing there yeah yeah it's more of a it's more of a new york academic financial type sort of thing that makes sense i always hear about that owl cult that they're always supposedly a part of right you want to convince me is that the uh is that's a is that the bohemian grove thing yeah yeah yeah all statue yeah that's the one that like alex jones snuck into in like the early 2000s was that like a thing that made him big or am i mistaken i don't know anything about that i just always hear about the owl worship like like not necessarily like there's an owl they're going

and we're all like bowing to it but you know there's a statue of an owl god or some nonsense like that and they do like eyes wide shut like sex parties that always seems to be a part of it they take the newest congressman who just got elected and they make him fucking blow his highest donor in front of everyone and they take video of it and then this is fucking fact people he's still in his car what's his name madison caorn? Still in his wheelchair just blowing people. Where's that guy? At the bottom of a set of stairs somewhere. Hockey players threw his wheelchair away.

This is a very good statue. It's a high quality. It was lighting. When they get the fire going, you can really see it. You thought it might be a stage play at first but but now this is clearly is that a statue or uh like i think it's a statue formation it looks like shoulders with no head to me personally yeah it looks like one of those things where they're like look how about a horned owl mountain looks like a man looking down with brushy eyebrows and you're like is it supposed to be a horned owl and those are the that the you know they have those oh yeah it's a rock formation

that sort of looks like an owl we have the answer yeah zach told us there we go now now we're in the mix where is this let's visit who built those steps though because like that's legitimate the owl's clearly wearing a cloak a cape i. I don't know about all that, but somebody built those goddamn steps and stairs. That's a lot of work. Yeah, it is. Some rednecks didn't go in the wood and make that. I bet if they got hired to,

they don't know about the Eyes Wide Shut stuff. They just show up and they go, I'm running the network. But who's paying to have the whole stage built around the owl formation? You know what I mean? If it is the government doing it, then we're paying for it.

Like, Public Works can't keep a library from falling apart. He's Soros a lot and half the audience loves him. Probably Soros, yeah. He's one of the biggest global political donors. Him or the Koch brothers. He carved down the stairs with his space laser The Koch brothers

Well the Koch brother now RIP to that other one The brother's cock The brother's grim Remember that movie Yeah that was a terrible movie That's based off of all the old fairy tales Right how they were a little bit darker

Those are like the German fairy tales And they were really little bit darker shade. Those are like the German fairy tales. And they weren't uplifting. They were about like... All the lessons in German fairy tales are like behave. Like what do we learn from the owl who eats the eyes of naughty boys? To fucking behave!

To fuck the Kaiser says! And what do we do when the worm comes to the front of the house after coffee and says please let me in i am in trouble we say increase your responsibility we say that to him get home from you against the rules i'm calling brown shirts you want to understand the words does it it does like brown shirts that it was a little delay on that before i get it right fair enough i uh i was watching a thing or i saw i was reading reddit and i saw there was a whole thread about the animorphs you remember the animorphs oh yeah those those great book those who don't know the animorphs was a book series from i don't know let's call it the 90s where

children were given these powers by aliens to trance to turn into animals like any animal really and it ended up being like even animals from outer space and stuff later on but they were all like 12 13 14 that age group but they're constantly being mutilated and ripped apart and just horrible things often happen to them while they're in the form or and they're for the guise of an animal i've never read it i love this thank you for this they're the starfish bitch that let me tell you so when she was in the form of a starfish she got cut in half on a mission they were doing. And the way starfish work, each half created a new starfish with a different half of her personality.

It was a whole problem. Yeah, there's some of the darkest childhood literature you can imagine. Harry Potter's a little rough. Kids get mutilated and die. But every book, something awful happens to these people. Real psychological terror. And the artwork, at some point, the guy's just having a laugh.

I remember seeing these books at Barnes & Noble as a kid or in the library in grade school, but I never read them. What kind of problems were they seeking to solve as a star alien invasions like like there's a whole race of aliens invading and trying to take over and like create mass genocide and stuff and they have similar powers

if i remember correctly but the thing is they're from some scary they've been to alien worlds all around so they've seen scary fucking animals so our kids are like we gotta go to the zoo because i think they have to touch or at least see an animal to have it in their data bank or whatever so they go to the zoo and oh there's a bear now i've got that oh there's a tiger oh they can turn up animals so she's not just a starfish no there's just a scene in that book where she becomes one for her like underwater mission. So they would generally become whatever animal was best for what they were doing. Maybe a fly on the wall would be convenient, or a fish in the ocean,

or a bear to fight off an alien who's turned into a Tyrannosaurus, which I think happened. There were dinosaurs at one point. Did you like this book series as a kid? I read two of them. I can't wait to see how they get out of it. I only read two of them, and it just wasn't doing it for me. Something about... I remember specifically reading them and not really being about it and i think in harry potter was way cooler than uh the animorphs but then i saw that reddit thread and read through

and what they do they go book by book the awful things that happened here's what happened to a 13 year old in episode four the rapening oh my god yeah it was real because because they'll be in sometimes they'll get stuck as the animal and now they can't now this this one kid's just a hawk forever and they gotta be like sorry jim and jim wants to eat mice because he's a hawk but that's like traumatizing to him to eat a to like kill and eat a mouse with his face. It's a whole thing. There's lots of psychological terror that happens. One guy, he's a fly.

He gets swatted. Now he's all mangled and eyeballs oozing out of his body and his whole thorax is ruptured. But he's still alive. But he can turn back into a human. Well, not right then. Everybody would notice, right? He's got to lay there in agony for a while. If you die as an animal do you die for real is it like a dream yeah like several of the children die this is pretty lots in the end of the children die i didn't know here's

some of the things that you might not remember as a kid a child repeatedly experiences his intestines hanging out of his body while in various animal forms. The child in the form of a fly experiences getting splattered and smeared against a ceiling until his friends, who are also flies at the time, can peel his body off and take him somewhere where he can transform back into a whole human before his insect mind fades. The child is shrunken and experiences having her eyeballs digested out of her head inside her friend's stomach while she's still in the form of a tiny elephant. She was blinded permanently by that. Really? I think so, yeah.

I'm almost positive. Dude, this is a fucked up book. I wouldn't have guessed this from the based on the cover, I thought it was like kids hanging out, turning into animals, maybe solving a minor mystery, like a boxcar being mystery. The heroes are forced to permanently imprison another child in the

body of a rat because he knows too much. They abandoned him on a tiny island with other rats and garbage in the ocean. Too much. A tiny island in the ocean. Like no hope of ever getting away. Is there a made for tv movie an ordinary ant gets transformed

into a human child it has no idea what's happening and is so overwhelmed by its huge new brain and sensory input that all it can do is scream until it dies nice they should make a fuck harry potter this should a movie. I want eight movies of that. Yeah, I want the Animorphs. There's more than eight books. There's many books. I'm sure they go to space and I'm sure that they

either go back in time to get dinosaurs or to a dinosaur planet. Did you ever read mystery books in your school library? Boxcar Children. Boxcar Kids. love boxcar kids. Do you remember? Like, I remember like reading like a third of one of those books and I read like a

number of them, but like getting through it and being like, Oh, I know the ending. And like, like, like as though that was hard, like being seven years old and reading it

to where, like, every time, the first guy who shows up and is mean, he's just a guy who has a stone heart and he's, you know, he's a children's guy. Yeah, he's always a red herring. The first person who shows up and is, like, really nice and offers the kids a meal, that's who did it. Every book.

Every book. It'll be like, we have to start a hop off this box car and then go to a local school oh no mr john c rapist has stopped us and he's like for some reason fictional food is always more desirable than any food you'd ever see or a deli a good example and i remember this uh this excerpt from one of the boxcar children books where they're talking about because they lived in a boxcar which in case you don't know is a car off of a train that's just a big box for storage, usually of live animals and such. I think that sounded cool to live in.

And it's been derailed and it's off in the woods and they're living in the motherfucking thing, like half a dozen kids. And to keep their milk cool, because they had groceries to some extent, they had like like bread and milk they would put it in the creek and as a kid i remember thinking because they described it as being very cool and everything like man i wish i had milk that was kept cool by a creek meanwhile i have a refrigerator keeping it at exactly 41.8 degrees because that's the perfect temperature for milk so you're like man i wish i had to go down to the crick and pull a jug out of the street yeah yeah no i i like those uh i read a ton as a kid and uh i like the mystery stuff i like when there was a band of kids who were like brothers and sisters because i didn't really have any brothers or sisters i had the one but we didn't get along and having fun together want to do our own thing

so uh no i like that and then harry potter too see i i always identified with harry potter a little bit his world was so cool i was thinking man i've got a good family here and everything but what i trade yeah yeah i trade i trade fucking zap wizard fucking zap him so i can be a wizard my fame they always harry potter's supposed to be the sad story he is the most famous good-looking wizard in a wizard world he has a cool-ass scar he's supposed to be good-looking is that yeah well i mean i mean i picture daniel radcliffe even in the in the books he's like above average looking he's certainly not like geeky or anything or like gross he just needs to like wash his hair that's his main problem but

you know he's famous rich good looking powerful well connected it's not a sad story okay his biggest problem is that there's a hitler running around he's got to deal with but that's everybody's problem it's not like it's his personal hitler everybody hates voldemort he's a problem for the world i i am familiar enough to know he is a little like a personal Hitler. Like he wanted to kill Harry more than anybody else to get his powers back. Which was the only... Yeah, absolutely. That's a cool movie there where they attach the guns to his hands.

I haven't seen that. He does a bunch of weird stuff now. He made so much Harry Potter money, he gets to do whatever he wants. That's great. I think Elijah Wood does that too, which is weird because they're both short, similar looking guys who starred in enormous fantasy series

and now they just do whatever movies they want. Are you trying to convince me they're not the same person? They are not. Can you imagine how much that dude would run fantasy if you parlay frodo into harry potter you know they sign autographs for one another they get recognized all the time like oh i love you so much and and then they start going on about the wrong universe yeah i loved you and sam thanks sign is fucking yeah i like that there's a lot of black guys that

happens to as well. I see them on Twitter like, I've signed your name so many times, man. I'm getting good at it. They came up, they think you're someone else. You know what? I will sign as Elijah Wood. Boom. Give this person a

story. I like it. Do you think they're going to bring Elijah Wood back at some point for an for another run at frodo no i do no he's if they did they'd have to do that well actually for elijah wood he might be the one person on earth who hasn't aged a day in the past 25 years he's he's aging away that makeup and cgi can throw him right back into a frodo character yeah he does he looks almost there are some people who aged like just perfectly so that they can still eye can throw him right back into a Frodo character. Yeah. He does. He looks almost as young as you. There are some people who aged

just perfectly so that they can still work and film forever. Patrick Stewart did okay. He's frail now, but some of his co-stars in the Star Trek reunion, it's like, ooh, they are using some digital shit on her face. Yeah. Her face is a little funky. You guys told me

Patrick Stewart went bald real early and that made that was a oh having that power like no having that be your like main look like right making that your baseline at 22 instead of 42 yeah means that at 22 you stopped aging do you look older at 22 yeah yeah but yeah that being your look it's like you have a picture of patrick stewart when he played in the original dune uh because i think he looks real good there and he's he's he's he's the character who's now played by uh jason momoa in the modern dune adaptation he's like the emperor's right hand military man like the commander of the armies and also Paul Atreides. Patrick Stewart is the muscle in the original Dune.

This guy? He's the general of the armies and he's the personal trainer of the young prince. He's the guy training him in the arts of war. I like my personal trainers to have been to the gym. In this world, Woody, of the void shield. You want a more buff general.

Is that what you're saying? At least a buff personal trainer. For fuck's sake, this guy doesn't work. Do you even lift Patrick Stewart? I don't think my personal trainer, Kyle, meant like, do your lat pulldowns. No, I meant like, this is how you do war. Not knowing more about Dune, that's what I assume they're focused on.

Think more Yoda and less whatever you're thinking. Jason Momoa. Yoda's pretty far from human. So is this guy. No, he's very much like a human. And he's played by an actual human. I'm almost positive. Yoda actually was

a pretty selfish character. He had a lot more power i'm guessing than he actually used to try and stop shit he totally sequestered himself in that little world said world's problems aren't mine even though god or whoever bequeathed him does that right like the attitude yoda did that um luke skywalker did that uh fucking probably more the guy from uh from and others um whatever his name is there is another example i forget no we'll see the thing with yoda oh the fucking obi-wan did that and well they're doing different... No. They're all hiding in the nothingness when there's shit to get done. I mean, if you're talking about the period

after the war when there's only like half of them in existence in the galaxy and they've all gone into hiding to do their missions. Yeah, that's true. But, you know, Yoda got his ass kicked by Emperor Palpatine and he was like, failed i have to the bubbling swamps i go give up forever i must pretty much pretty much yeah he got his ass kicked by

hiding with the sand people he's not hiding he's protecting the boy he's hiding lay under a dirty afghan in a fog on a swamp for a thousand years I will. Fuck him. He's a lazy bad character. Exactly. He's a Muppet and he loves us all. No he doesn't. If he loved me he'd protect me from Sith Lords. Have you ever had any Sith Lord issues? Touche.

Yoda has been out there every step of the way watching your back and here you are besmirching him. When you saw one set of footprints in the sand, you thought Yoda had left you. But all this time, he was just force hovering behind you watching.

And here you are. That does make sense. Why did you abandon me at these difficult times in my life? These times, carrying you was I. No, you weren't.

I see your little fucking shitty walking away to the concession stand. Those are clearly my footprints. Your footprints are this big, you asshole. Don't guard me on my shit, you have. I fucked off to a fog planet. Fog planet. It's a...

Masturbating at the swamps was I. Dagobah. That's the name of the planet. Yeah. Dagobah? Dagobah. Yeah. That's a stupid planet name. We were talking about Elijah Wood and his lookalike signing autographs for each other. Which YouTuber do you thinkalike signing autographs for each other.

Which YouTuber do you think you'd sign autographs for? Oh, I can't insert wrong person. I love your stuff. I've never been compared to anyone that wasn't just a huge insult. I've never had someone tweet me a picture of someone good looking and go damn doppelganger alert it's always either someone who's actually retarded like an actually retarded person or a big fat guy who's like in the news because he you know it's part of a heroin someone someone sent me my doppelganger the other day and some tiktok it's uh if you guys can find it it's it's two dudes in a body of water they're

in kayaks maybe and I think they're fishing. And one of them is black. And I think the black guy catches like a crate, like a nice fish. And they start like laughing and like they're really overjoyed about it. Like maybe there was even a crocodile in the water. I don't really remember. It's been a minute. But the white dude.

My dad may have had another son, and it's that white dude. I need to talk to my dad. He looked so much like me. I was like, look. Look at this. Every angle, every time he turned his head, I was like, that's what the back of my head looks like. That looks like me.

Reach out to him. It's true. Hey, white guy from TikTok. Back when I used to look at the subreddit, every time they're like, this person looks like Woody. That person was like 30 pounds fatter than me and maybe just had bad taste in clothing or something. And that's what we shared in common.

Also brown-haired white guy. If I were to pick, maybe an old Philip DeFranco. Could I pass for an old Philly D? I can't picture him right now. I saw him the other day. He's got some mojo going on in the background. They're putting some of that digital CGI on him or something. Oh, they're keeping him younger, you think?

A little De Niro? Yeah, they're going to have Philip DeFranco forever, just like Bruce Willis. Are you aware that Bruce Willis has dementia? We talk about it every week. He sold the rights to his deepfake to some

company. Now I saw a commercial of him the other day. It was a soda or a beer, something like that. It's Bruce Willis going, good drink. He drinks it and it's a young Bruce Willis again.

They just created him. And Bruce Willis is somewhere with dementia. He has nothing to do with Japanese soda. So they're just selling his image to sell Pepsi in Japan. He was never there. Here? You see this commercial? What I'm saying is

at no point was he in that room. Bruce Willis doesn't know that this happened. He just got a check. It would be like you appeared in this commercial, and they sent you a check. We made another commercial of you, Taylor. And you'd say, oh, really? Thank you. Here's the money.

Great. That's what this is. Bruce Willis wasn't there. It's not his voice. It's all deepfaked. I like this. It's a new kind of long tail. I think Kyle's making a case

that he didn't earn this. I'm like, he did earn this. There's a reason they chose Bruce Willis and not us because he has this body of work out there. This is his long tail. You sell your deepfake. No, I'm not making that case at all. That'd be silly. I think it's awesome. He didn't go there and do it, but

it's the long tail. So that everyone understands the technology. I think it's awesome that he is sold. Well, you really stressed that he didn't go there and do it, but it's the long tail off his career. So that everyone understands the technology that this is. Of Deepfake, I'm glad we cleared that up. Well, this isn't him sitting there. Well, up until this very moment, we've been talking about CGI technology where they take an old actor and they make them appear young, but he's not even there.

There's some guy sitting there with dots on his face, right? That's not Bruce Willis. Damn. That is so weird, because I thought that was a still from a movie when you first brought it up. No more movies for old Bruce. You guys, when I see pictures now,

I'm always finger counting, and they're going to get the fingers right sooner than later. Have you seen those hyper-realistic where you can tell something uncanny where it's a celebrity dressed in a goofy outfit outfit but it's only that you 100% know it's like ridiculous when you're like oh the hands are messed up that forearm is slightly too long like if you just glance at it for two seconds it can fool you like you're counting an expression

or actually counting actually ai doesn't do hands right and so if you look at an ai picture often they the knock like there'll be an extra knuckle. There'll be an extra folded finger. People holding hands is almost a knot. They don't get hands right. And so you can finger count for now and tell when it's AI because they're really bad at hands, which is a weird thing to be bad at. Although I guess apparently aren't hands hard to draw too? I'm imagining trying to draw my

hand right now and I can't draw a circle so I think it would be a real problem trying to draw my hand. You have to be like, I just trace it. With your using your left? No, not a tracing hand. The kind of hand with

shadow that you could show someone and be like, wow, that's art. Well, I'd start with the tracing. Who are these people? Well, that's... Isn't that Cardi B on the right? Or is it... And on the left, that's Spider-Man. Why are we looking at this?

I can't tell them apart. Throw Megan Thee Stallion in there and I wouldn't know either. And Spider-Man. Why are we looking at this? I think it's from what he mentioned before. There's a new TV show made entirely of deep fakes. So my

guess is that neither of those people are there. See how that's not really them. That's somebody else, perhaps with dots on their face. Indeed. That could be. And now, damn, their arms are crossed so we can't do the hands test. Oh, I didn't think about that. That might be intentional it could be when are you seeing ai made like drawings and stuff that that that confused me too but yeah you can just like people post them on twitter you can see

the apps yeah and like even though it's crazy like the ones that we were seeing four months ago are now absolute hog shit like terrible compared to the ones now and the ones now still can't get hands right but I saw one of LeBron James where it had five fingers so we're gonna have to come up with a new system soon because they're it's figuring hands out man this is gonna this is gonna

work out like AI like I don't I don't think it can't we can just unplug it if shit gets too scary oh i doubt that it's gonna unplug us the tool to help you write better fucking cover letters right i don't see for long it'll do better stuff eventually eventually it'll get build orders right for rts games and that'll be good i i think the scary thing would be if you gave it autonomy if you're like hey steve you named it steve don't do that don't give it a name you're gonna run the the security of this building you get keep those auto cannons

all cleaned and polished now yes that'd be a problem right you know the ups man really wants to deliver a package one day and he just auto cannons him. Must defend the perimeter at all costs. Oh shit, we should have mentioned that Dave the UPS man can't hear commands. He knew that by walking into that building, he was agreeing to the defense measures of Bank of

America. So unfortunately, we're not going to make you whole. So come sweep up your husband. Ever start a new hobby and then you go to forums or Facebook or wherever it is that you can find other people who like this hobby and try to build your own expertise by reading questions of the people asked, asking questions, etc. If you were to start a flower garden right now, you'd be like, guys, my flowers are wilting. And some asshole would tell you you need more nitrogen. Someone would tell you you need to water it. And someone else would tell you, you have too much water. And it is your job as a new hobbyist to figure out which one of these people

is actually a group expert and which one of them is just full of shit, like spouting stuff, who asks even more basic questions than you do when he's not answering yours. Right. And so you need to figure this out. AI seems like a tool that just reads this shit and puts it together without being very good at figuring out who the group experts are and who the idiots are. So when you ask it a build order, it kind of regurgitate shit that it saw somewhere else with no idea that this guy's an expert in this guy's a fool. with no idea that this guy's an expert and this guy's a fool. And what you get is this untrustworthy sort of mix of good advice and bad. Don't you maybe get the mean opinion? And I don't mean the one that's cruel. Right, the average.

The average opinion. So with politics and stuff, I've noticed it can be frustrating to ask questions that are politically charged, or the answers could potentially be politically motivated or it could make the ai look bad if it answers a certain way you give weird responses sometimes there but i think if you asked it how to how to garden i bet the average answer on the internet is a pretty good answer and it'd get it right right yeah it's it's getting better as it goes i i know all of the people that i talked to they're like well i use it for this and i use it for that and all of their jobs they're using it to sort of automate or take over this one little corner of their jobs that was just

like busy work almost and this thing could just collate and put everything in this nice little package that they can email off real quick and trust uh i see a lot of people using it that way and the whole idea of a book report is retarded anyway like like that was just to make sure you read the book right i mean it's you know it's like reading comprehension is important like making sure that you are retaining information simple like if you can't write a book report you're a fucking retard like no holds barred like oh you're a crazy you're a you're a you're a tailor just fired just fine i'm serious like if you can't figure a fucking book report out you're surmising a book what is this boxcar book about susan thought that terry stole the jewels but it turns out

terry's lazy eye just scared her and it was really greasy you know across the street like like and that's about it like that's all that that was meant to do like I remember as a kid not understanding the point and being like why does this dumb bitch need me to tell her what the book is about it's like no she's making sure you're not a retard who like put something together and is like oh so this guy just functionally can't string structured thoughts together in written word like I actually think it has a lot of value. Like my impression based on our stories is Taylor was a much better eighth

grader than I was. And, but the me of today can absolutely write a book report. I don't mean to flex on you, but probably like ninth or 10th grade level at this point. So, and the reason that I picked that up is all the, you know,

have to read, have to learn. So in, in computer science, if you're an auditory learner, which means, you know, I prefer to be told verbally stuff. Shut the fuck up, you worthless pile of shit. Fucking turn off your computer and leave the building. You have no fucking value if all you can do is be spoon fed information by your coworkers to learn. Become a reading learner

or get the fuck out of this career and i bet that's true with attorneys and doctors and so many more if you're a warehouse manager maybe you do learn by doing or you learn by other people doing the job and whatever but there are some jobs you have to have book smarts you know to succeed in and uh that's what book reports are for to develop that skill set and there's like there's a lot of stuff that like it takes like learning by listening is way more passive and easy than learning by actively reading and forcing yourself to internalize that so like the like the best engineers aren't listening to books on tape like i learned this like they're they're reading they're structuring things like visually like

the best doctors aren't listening to a fucking podcast on how to do a surgery and then like popping the gloves on like they are analyzing like the top dudes at the surgery do like so it's just like instead of uh everyone would retain more visually if you so it's just like that everyone would retain more visually if you for it's just it's harder because you have to force yourself to like you can't like you can't it felt like it was more about the the language arts part of it the the structuring of the book report then proving you read the book because we had a home system in our school to prove that you read the book where they get asked you like i don't know 20 questions there's no way that you could pass the test and we would

when we're doing relay for life and you and you're getting the points per book you'd read the book and you take these 20 question tests you score an eight score a 90 on it's like yeah here your points you you clearly read the book there'd be no way to fake this shit. Yeah, I tried to fake it once. I just ended up reading the book. What about Cliff Notes? You know, you're in fourth grade. Okay. So it's... You didn't talk to get your hands on them.

Good point, yes. I remember the first time I... People might not know who Cliff Notes are. They were these... You have to read, like, Moby Dick, which, of course, is a big, thick, solid hardcover book. And then there'd be the Moby Dick Cliff of course is a big thick solid hardcover book and then there'd be the Moby Dick cliff notes they were these black and yellow cover they had this like branding thing and it would take 30 minutes to read the cliff notes and it covered all the

things that you need to know to pass a test and I saw them in the store once and I was like oh those are the legendary cliff notes there it's like having the answer key to various tests that you'll have to take. It's like note to self, there's cliff notes here. I remember seeing that at like 16 at Barnes & Noble, like spark notes on a shelf. You can sell those? You can just buy that? But at that point in life, you're like, well, school's pretty fucking easy.

I'm not going to spend money on it. But yeah, I remember a kid at school, multiple kids got in trouble for having spark notes, those exactly what you said, black and yellow little pamphlet books. And they'd read them in the middle of the lunchroom, and some teacher would be like, oh, where'd you get that? It's like, what do you think? Why would you read that next to the English teacher? Are and like the least cool way to be a bad boy like wow this guy this guy definitely didn't steal that by the way which would be cooler you know to your 15 year old brain but yeah would

you do differently if you could do it again like what would you change i would make it high school for i would absolutely have the mentality of like this shit doesn't matter nearly as much as you thought it did like i was someone who like compared to you you're different social part or the no no the academic part like because i would like actually be like oh this is really important i gotta like work hard on this like this is like and there was so much stuff that like I worried about needlessly through like academic wise. That wasn't even hard because it was just like, yeah,

this, I would go back and tell myself like, Hey, settle down. Like none of this shit actually fucking matters. Like just get it. I got the GD, like,

like just quit. Right. That might be better. I know. I enjoyed like, imagine it. Imagine it. I mean,

I don't know. You could have, if for a year you could have just had that to yourself, like getting and just moved on and, like, prepared for the next step in your life, like, whether that's college or whatever it is. Like, if you'd had another year, because what'd you learn senior year high school? Anything you're applying today? Probably not. You couldn't pick up in Clip Notes. Senior year was a ton of fun because, like, you didn't have to do anything.

So, you're like, going to school was more fun senior year because it's like, who gives a shit? Like, just hanging out is nice. I didn't take a single AP senior year. I took two gyms, two study halls. I had the most fuck off. I also had no APs my senior year. Yeah.

They wouldn't let me. I was scrambling to graduate high school. I remember I'd get worried about high school. Yeah. I remember like I was like, I'd get worried about things needlessly, but I remember like this kid, this Indian kid who was obsessed with school, getting a 35 on his ACT instead of a 30,

36 is a perfect score. 35 is probably top, you know, 3%, 2%, like something. It's very high. And he got a 35 instead of a 36

and was like openly crying in the hallway openly crying about it and i wanted to be like get like get your shit together man like 35 like you don't have to go home to his parents i know i don't but like that's like that's like someone worth $10 million openly weeping around someone with 68 cents in their pocket. Like, like he was openly weeping around like dumb asses who got like horrid scores. Remember what school he got into? I,

I don't remember which one, but it was very good. Like he is a surgeon now and like, he's a big surgeon. Is he still a pussy. He is a surgeon now. He's a big guarantee. Yeah, a foot surgeon. Is he still a pussy though? He's a real deal surgeon. He's a neurosurgeon.

Well, it seems like the best. I don't know. I like my neurosurgeons to get 36s. But I also like my neurosurgeons to be so fucking obsessed with doing the right thing that they cry over a 35 like if there's someone who's gonna cry over a minor error i want someone who's fucking around in my

brain jesus yeah i don't want a guy like okay i don't think surgery is as hard as we think it is i know they're fucking they they're they're gatekeepers i think the know-how of course is but i think the actual techniques are like not that much difficult not that much more difficult than spackling drywall or doing a bit of plumbing i think it's whenever you see them actually reconstructing something they're like all right and they're like club it with a hammer to smash everything apart and then like all right let me get my saw out. Man, I've done this before. I've worked on old cars. Like you're just sanding all the edges off right now.

You're going to put some Bondo on in a second. You seen him put organs back in people? Throw them at it like a piece of meat. No, you imagine that it's like operation where you're like, careful, careful. This is where this goes. This is where that. No where that no just a like like holiday punch from a bull of the morning after this thing just true yes they just dump organs back in and it kind of i guess it just put them back in there it just i guess it just

it just settles like it just kind of moves back around in the midsection yeah and that's and i mean these people regularly like leave leave Junior Mints and paper towels in you. Sponges. Sponges. Forceps. Forceps. Springs. Springs. All of that shit sounds terrible, but Junior Mints, I'm kind of into it. A little chocolatey.

That happened to a guy. It did, and it almost killed him. It probably would almost kill you, right? Like a bunch of sugar just floating around in there, rotting. That would almost kill you, and I'd be a goner. It's freewheeling in there. If you were just thrown into your body cavity, let's say we open your belly up and everything's reattached.

I think they were taking a spleen out or something off the top of my head. You just leave that junior mint in your body cavity. My best guess is it becomes necrotic. That junior mint starts rotting away in you and bacteria is feeding on it and you go septic in your stomach cavity. I'm sure you die. It's nothing but the

perfect food for the shit that would fuck you up. I can hear Kramer telling me, it's the perfect food for bacteria, Jerry. I love it. Jerry, you're not going to believe it. They dropped the Junior Mint in his son. What if Kramer wanted to get the Junior Mint back? That would have been a better one. That was the Pigman episode.

No, it wasn't. Is that also the episode where the Pigman jumped off and fell on George's car and then he wanted the hospital to pay for the damages to his car because a man had fallen off a building and crushed his car. And I was on George's side. You're parked outside a hospital and some loon jumps off the roof, crushes your car. That's on the hospital, right? Yeah, they can't be letting somebody, some lunatic just run up on the roof no i i think it's on the loons fault i don't blame the building

he's not capable of controlling himself like that's why he was at that facility is because he's he's a loon oh they're responsible counter argument because i took it extended to anywhere else like if you parked outside a place of business or if I parked in your cornfield and then... Pablo falls off Home Depot on my Hyundai. That's not Home Depot's fault. But Pigman jumps off the roof of St. Mary's.

He was in their care. They allowed him to escape his restraints, gain access to said roof. That was John Voight's car, Woody. That was a collector's item. Actually, you're kind of winning me over.

I started on the other side, but he was under their care. I get it. I think he had grounds for a suit. I liked that. That was one time I was on George's side. If your car gets damaged in a Target parking lot and one of their customers did it i don't really hold target responsible for something one of their customers did

no definitely not but if target had an insane person shackled to a bed in the back and it was like target you got to keep this guy shackled up and then that guy escaped and stole your car i think target's got something to answer for hey that guy and stole your car, I think Target's got something to answer for. Hey, that guy that stole your car escaped the confines of the storeroom and you were legally supposed to keep him there, but you let him run away. This is what Seinfeld is about, moral quandaries. The big questions.

The biggest questions. We have to talk about Trump being indicted and facing 34 counts and stuff. Yeah, and I guess technically being under arrest. Um, first of all, I'm not sure, but I might have lost a bet on those grounds alone. I need to go back with a bit with my friend. It would be with Mitty because I have a few scattered around, but I need to go back through the chat logs and see exactly what we said. The bet was and I made two or three three but his just his arrest might make me owe midi a hundred dollars because

i never really thought that would happen however i may have literally quantified handcuffs which i don't think ever happened and i get a hundred bucks and so because i was there was a point when i surrendered myself to the u.s marshals and i was but they didn't put me in handcuffs or anything they just said like waved a wand over me you're under arrest now it was like one of those and then that's kind of what they did to trump so that's kind of a different my understanding is no to handcuffs no to mug shots yes to fingerprints they weighed him oh two he finally made it to 270 right he couldn't do it in 2022 but he had 270 uh on the scale you know what the democrats are like what they're like that kid who finds out santa claus ain't real in kindergarten and they can't wait to tell everybody that he's 270 pounds and his hands are little and and no he's not a billionaire

they look no he's not he's not they just. Look, no, he's not. He's not. They just want to ruin it for the rest of us. Look, Santa's sitting there in court. This is like Miracle on 34th Street. I hope they bring like bag after bag of letters written to Donald Trump.

Dude, let's start. Let's write letters to Trump. to trump oh man i bet nobody's getting this hey trump i think you're pretty cool you didn't respond to my last song so i understand the charges against him uh and and i feel like a lot of people don't. I can lay it out hopefully in under a minute. Here's the scoop. He has hush money payments, which are legal, right? Heck, I'm under two NDAs right now. Stories I wish I could tell the show.

But sometimes you pay people to keep their fucking mouth shut, and there you go. That part is legal. That part is legal. What's illegal is he acted, he logged these as business expenses as if they were legal expenses. So he falsified his business records to commit another crime, right? You know, if the falsified business records are in support of some other crime, then, then that can become a felony.

So was it supporting another crime? Well, what they're alleged, they haven't specified the crime. They asked the, the brag with the DA exactly what the crime was. And he said, the law doesn't require me to specify the crime yet. So that's where that is.

But everyone is saying it's campaign finance fraud. Is he guilty of campaign finance fraud? Now, if you talked to me even a week ago, I would have said, nah, I don't know. Hush money payments to porn stars and different people he fucked. That could very well be outside of the campaign. He might be doing that because he's married, because he has a public image he wants to uphold. There are lots of reasons outside of running the campaign that maybe were his motivation for doing catch and release or catch and kill stories where they pay, say, McDougal for the rights to her story, then never tell it. Or Stormy Daniels, where they just paid her to be quiet.

It didn't work out. Well, it's funny you say that because the reason that I think it was campaign finance fraud is Trump said, let's delay paying StormyDaniels until after the election. Then we won't pay her at all because it won't matter. And I'm like, oh shit. This wasn't about your wife or your kids finding out or anything like that. You have it in writing from Trump himself. Let's try to push this past the election and then we just won't pay her at all. We'll stiff her on the bill. Very much on brand for Donald Trump, by the way. And so he's guilty.

He falsified his business records. That's not under dispute, really. That's the misdemeanor. And it was about the election. That's kind of guilty, too. I mean, he said if we push this off until after the election, we won't pay her at all. So Trump has falsified business records to commit campaign finance fraud. And now the question is like this is like not novel to him.

Like all of these fucking people say that they're going to spend stuff from their campaign money on other shit like it is it seems like like after that long last like this is what they're trying to get him on like paying off stormy daniels like they they will throw whatever at him to try and get anything to to make him not able to run again like obviously that's what they want so like it's just like this being a thing like he paid off a porn star. Like I don't give a fuck. If you really think that all these other people are really moral with their super packs and their money, like it's not. He's just being targeted. They're absolutely not. I agree.

Yeah. It seems like when you give money to someone and they have like three million left in their campaign, it suddenly becomes theirs somehow. Like they're not allowed to spend on themselves yet. They do somehow. It is. It is a slush fund that all these fuckers use to buy everything that they want. And so the idea that like, oh, we have to be so serious about this right now with this fucking porn star hush money. It's like, this is absurd.

Here's what this feels like to me. And let me just take a step back. Trump's campaign financier went to prison, right? His campaign manager went to prison. Trump's accountant went to prison. Trump's attorney went to prison for this, by the way. He went to prison right his campaign manager went to prison trump's accountant went to prison trump's attorney went to prison for this by the way he went to prison for this and and you can say it's not a serious crime or whatever but when he was getting out of prison trump said no no no no keep him in there longer don't let him out uh unless he agrees not to

write a book yeah which is like you want to talk about weaponizing the government, Jim Jordan? Look inward, baby. So anyway, his accountant, his attorney, and his campaign finance manager all went to prison. Trump is a criminal. That's hardly under dispute. But the question is, is this the one we get him on? It feels to me like this is getting Al Capone on tax evasion. This is getting OJ Simpson on kidnapping. Are we happy that that's what those guys went down for? I mean, that's exactly what it is.

Like they're they're trying anything to to keep him from being able to run. That's what it seems like to me. Like they want to get something on him that precludes him from it because seemingly he's a lot more popular than the other Republican DeSantis. Yeah. And I mean, obviously, like if the Democrats are going to lose, they would a million billion times rather DeSantis win than Trump. Like, no, I don't even think that is close. The Democrats absolutely want Trump to win the primary.

That's their strategy. And it's a dangerous strategy, I'll admit. Right? The Democrats are like, Trump is a fucking loser. We beat him already. I'll admit right the Democrats are like Trump is a fucking loser we beat him already and he got smacked everyone nearly every one of his like

handpicked people in the midterms got their asses kicked and Trump of course lost while Biden did what sat in a basement on zoom calls doing nothing well let is letting Trump just lose his own election well he had Biden let the media run his campaign for him largely

come on all you Well, Biden let the media run his campaign for him, largely. Come on. All you got to do is let Trump go on a mic and he'll lose the election for you. That's what Trump does. Trump, right now they did a poll. 60% of America likes this trial and 40% doesn't. I think that poll result has nothing to do with the trial. I think it's 60% of Americans don't like Trump and 40% do. And that's what's up.

It could be. I'd be interested to see where the polls are going to be. do at the trial i think it's 60 of americans don't like trump and 40 do and that's what's up it could be i'd be interested to see like where the in the midterms the democrats financially supported the campaigns of the people that trump supported why because they thought they were easy to beat and they were right it seemed dangerous at the time like oh my god you really want to go up against this guy what if he wins every fucking one of them lost and now you could be right i just want trump they want trump to win the primary could be dangerous nationally trump is more popular than desantis so i don't get why they'd want to go up against trump again because when desantis isn't as popular outside of florida as trump is i hear you i think the democrats are right on this i think that no matter who wins

the republican primary trump desantis or someone we're not naming, they will be up against Biden on an equal footing, right? And coming out of the primary, there's two contenders and they both get a look. That person will be propelled to the same stage during the debates and they'll be held as an equal. So while DeSantis looks behind and weaker now, he'll be just as strong. Whoever wins the primary is going to be the guy. That's true. Yeah, but Trump's got a thing. Trump's got a thing.

Yeah, that thing hurts him. That's why he lost last election and he got his ass kicked in the midterms. I don't know how much you can blame the midterms directly on him. I mean, the candidates he picked were atrocious. That Federer, is that his name, Federer? Or Federman? I think it's Federman.

The gentleman who had the stroke. Not with it. Still beat Trump's candidate. My goodness. Still beat Dr. Oz. His candidate was a doctor. And what we learned afterward is that he wasn't Dr. Phil. He's a real Dr. Phil.

He's a real doctor. Yes. Yeah. Apparently he was a brain surgeon or something. Yeah. That's what we were ripping on him. How about this? How about we have the two of them write book reports? Best one gets to govern the state.

There's no way Fetterman can write a book report. It's going to be like one of those 4chan trolls where it's like, have you ever been so far as to actually never be so far as? I hate Fetterman's stick. Fetterman's hoodie and ill-fitting clothing stick when he's actually from a fairly wealthy

family. If that's who he was, I'd be for it. I'd be down, but he's cosplaying as somebody. You know what he looks like to me? He looks like a vampire's henchman. He looks like Igor. Yeah, he'd be in the background all hunched over. He's got a cloak, but he's got it pulled back right now.

And even his boss is like, put the cloak on. Fuck. He's so ghoulish looking. I'm sure he's a sweet guy, but goodness, he's had a stroke and he's so ghoulish looking i'm sure he's a sweet guy but goodness he's he's he's had a stroke and he's brain damaged and he's i last i heard he was still in the hospital meanwhile dr oz is still being a real fucking doctor still being a real fucking doctor for two months thumbs up i'm gonna try to do my job again this week so just got out two days ago so how so he

was just oh he got out two days ago i was just trying to look that up out of commission for months and months right after winning the election oh jeez so i i generally try to a major critique was he wasn't ready for the job the washington post which is a left-leaning newspaper for if anyone doesn't know wrote an article i didn't read it but the headline is fetterman's profile and courage in fighting depression oh come on that's fucking embarrassing that's a real positive spin on a guy who took a lot of time off man we all fight depression but we don't get no hero title i still fuck up and work five hours a week i still show up in this room you know how a hero handles depression

you never know that guy was depressed he just comes right on out of it he starts applying to your text messages again. He just starts replying to your text messages. Dude, that is hilarious. That's when you know your guy friend isn't depressed anymore. He starts responding to your text again. He wants to hang out. Where is he? He's in his cell.

There's a guy right off screen in stocks in a stockade. The gag in his mouth. Fetterman lives in a crack house. I'm going to need something certifying that that man doesn't have donkey brains because I'm convinced that's a nitwit school he's in right now. I mean, he's as donkey brained as you can get. There's no institution that would un-donkey brain him. I feel mean, but goddamn, he's a senator.

I said governor earlier uh come on and i also hate his like folksy car heart and hoodie nonsense you ain't a working man dude he's not a working man dude lift some weights or something you'll at least look like a worker yeah this is giant clothes this guy sucks yeah he is oh dude who uh who hasn't believed that really loose baggy clothes hide your bad body at one point or another like oh yeah no one can see what i look like in this oh yeah it's like like the first time you're really, or you guys won't get this, but people out there will. The first time you get pretty sincerely overweight in your life and you discover black clothes. And you're like, oh, I can go down this road a little longer, baby. And then you start blowing out your fat clothes.

When you're too fat for a black T-shirt life gets life comes at you fast you guys ever been in that mode where you put on like something as flattering as a black t-shirt and you were like like no i really sincerely doubt what he's been there you've always been for me it's all about the chins if i start like doing one of these deals and get like the chins are not right that's when i know i'm out of spec what if your forehead does that it probably does uh no nobody's forehead does that unless you got fucking nitwit school unless you turn 50 he has he have two hoodies on? Yeah, he likes to double up. Oh my, does he? Can you zoom in, Zach? There's no way. He's got two on. That's twice as folksy.

That's double hoodies, right? Is he wearing an S-Bot? Is this dude just perennially chilly? A gator? Zach says it's a gator. No, he's not chilly because he's in his fucking shorts. He's got a goddamn scarf on under there. and you can tell from the color of his legs lots of great people wear shorts all winter long yeah that's you know what you also can tell with this guy is that like by the color of his legs in

those photos he's not normally a short sky really yeah his his his legs pale. I see him as a shorts guy. Oh, that was the best one ever. Well, then I may have seen some bad lighting ones. If he doesn't have genetic material in the Adams family, then I'm not. Fucking lurch. That guy. Who's that?

The monsters. Lurch from the monsters? It's a powerful brow. Very. He is. He looks like Mongol. He looks like Mongol number three from a Viking show. Look at that woman in the back.

He followed at the beast she's witnessed. I wonder how tall he is. He looks tall. Yeah, he does look tall. She's yelling, look out lady, he behind you! Yeah, he behind you! Ha ha ha! She's yelling, Look out, lady! He behind you! He behind you! She's going to be a good Samaritan to protect this poor woman from that cave troll.

He's six foot eight? He's six foot eight? The sights, six foot eight and six foot nine is what keeps coming up. What an oaf. Oh, come on. You can't toss him a bone. Six eight is cool. It is, but he. You can't toss him a bone. 6'8 is cool.

It is, but he's not actually a cool-looking 6'8. He's an oafy 6'8. That's because he makes a lot of bad choices. 6'8 is cool if you're in the NBA. 6'8, like this, is just a freak show. Now you're just bothering people with your request for a longer hospital bed. I think 6'8 is cool. He's not cool but like dr disrespect dr disrespect not a friend of mine enviable look though right like he's fit and he's six

yeah he's cool i like dr just i don't want to be that tall that's too tall but if i have a slider and it's magical and i can be any of these heights. That's not the one I pick. I'm going to be 10 feet tall. You don't want to be 6'6 walking around. You're a freak show. Now psycho guy is going to be like, here's what's going to happen now that you're 6'6 and ripped, Woody.

Some girl's going to look at you and her boyfriend's going to go, I could whip his ass. I don't know about that one. And that's going gonna happen everywhere you go just tested constantly yeah yeah you don't think so now he's glassing you in the side of the face that's why derrick has his like particular look or whatever he got cold cocked while he was a bouncer by someone that did nerve damage in his face or broke some bones or something like that when you're big and intimidating looking,

people make a point of assaulting you. Not if you go, if you're, if it's a magical slider, dude, slide that shit to eight foot 11, Robert. Okay.

Hi, no one is fucking with you. No one. Nine foot six. My friend, Kyle, he's only stretches you out. What?

If I took you and stretched you out to eight foot one eight foot one 212 pounds just breaking like a balloon animal yeah no that you know what would be funny is i'd be like now i can eat anything and then i'd eat my way to 12 or is that a hypothetical number no that's like i weighed a week ago. I'm at like 212 now. Nice. Outstanding. I'm angling heavy for that one. That one is the first number.

You want your weight to start with one? It doesn't have to. I'm not going to get crazy. Like 198 would be fine. Just get into one. Or like 1,000. 1,000. Just saying, Taylor. There's only one way to get a thousand. A thousand? I'm in the ones. Just saying, Taylor.

If I get down to the ones, when I'm in the ones, I'm svelte by my standards. That's when you know you're too fat. When you get back to the ones. 199.8. We all start in the ones, more or less. But some of us get back there again.

Are there any thousand pound people alive? Not, right? That one guy in Saudi Arabia, I i think cracked a thousand like 15 years ago he's the guy that they had to destroy part of his wall to bring him out with a crane i think he hit 1k but i don't think any women have ever hit 1k men men men uh i don't think winners i i think it's a short-lived record Because they tend to die very quickly Speaking of short-lived records We've seen the South Park episode

Where Strong Woman is competing Against the other Strong Women For Woody's benefit There's an episode where there's a very fit Real lady with a vagina And she's got a six-pack And she competes in track and field As an adult and

her ex-boyfriend to like be a dick joins as a trans woman and like breaks all her records so now she's silver medal on the podiums and stuff and he's literally drawn and voiced like macho man randy savage oh yeah i'm a strong woman he's like he's like doing yeah exactly she's all bloody yeah he whipped her ass the one of the second place is is his ex-girlfriend he's just there to spite her well i know where this is going this more or less happened in real life last week or so where uh i guess a trans woman had joined the the weightlifting organization for women and set new records for everything. I think her bench press was in the nature of like 250, 260 or something. And a man who is an Olympic weightlifting coach, I believe, is his job.

I guess he was probably upset by this. So he became a trans woman real quick. And he dropped in to pop all her records off real quick. Blew them out by a hundred pounds of lift it's great the trans woman i know about this story the trans woman is a trans woman now she's a power lifting trans woman and she kind of she has long blonde hair but if you saw her she she doesn't pass right like you'd be like, oh, this is... You do your own thing. Like Daniel Radcliffe's girlfriend. You clearly used to be a guy.

I don't know that person. That's a joke. She's pregnant. But she looks like a man. Okay. Anyway, so this woman, you know, she was started as a guy, but she wishes that she was a girl. So she's competing against the girl. And she won eight of the nine powerlifting events that she entered

and she set records and let me see this okay that i saw her looking a little more feminine than that but there you go that's her you know trans woman not fair to compete against lifelong women is that a good term i don't know uh but but she is. This guy comes. Dude, he vibes Taylor. He's got a full beard. He's just man, man. But for one weekend, said I'm a girl. He beat every record they do for people that don't know. I hope he took a spike shit in the girls' room, too.

Powerlifting is bench press, squat, and deadlift. So he just set the women's record in all three of those and did his thing. First thing he does when he gets there, he goes into the ladies' room to take a big, healthy shit and adjust his jock strap. Dude, show a picture of the guy that broke the records. Do you remember his name kyle i think i saw a photo he's a very very big guy i remember him looking like thor bjornson but like the normal

sized version like bald head with like that sort of not exactly like a like the wide mohawk thing where it's like real high and tight like you've shaved so much of the sides off that Thor does. He looked like a power lifter. I saw him break the women's bench press record. I think it was 270, so he did 370. Just by the way he pushed it up and down, I'm guessing he had 470 in him. He benched 370 like I benched 170. 370 was a lark.

He was laughing while he was doing it. He was like, ha ha ha, watch this, guys. I'm trolling. He's just throwing around 370. 370 was a lark. He was laughing while he was doing it. He was like, ha ha ha, watch this, guys, I'm trolling. He's just throwing around 370. Yeah. No, I love that. I love that. And of course, that trans woman is like, oh, this is a mockery.

It's making a mockery of everything we do. And it's like, that is the point he is trying to make. The leopards have eaten your face, my dear. You don't get why he's here. He's here because you're crushing little girl's dreams. I know this. When I look at the gym, they had a records board. Man, if those girls' records were the ones I needed to push to beat,

it'd be like, well, shit, let's just go home because I got most of those already. But the men's records were something to fucking aspire to. It's like, that takes a lifetime of effort to get to a 500-pound bench press or a fucking 675 squat or 800, whatever it was at my gym. It was something silly. They don't get too crazy

because it's just a fucking normal gym. But anyway, yeah. I looked again. Taylor's more handsome than this dude. But when you see him, you'll see how... Masculine he is. Maybe they share an energy. Perhaps. Perhaps. They both look like they would slap

a woman, real or otherwise. Right? That guy looks strong as shit. Yeah. That guy looks strong as shit. He's the strongest woman on the planet. Of course he does. That guy is a powerful woman.

Look how thick that lady is. That's thick with three or four Cs. He's an anamorph. Bad bitch right there. That woman can deadlift. The anamorphs are ruining sports because they're turning into gorillas and dominating weightlifting.

That's how the animorphs would handle it actually i wonder if their joints are built correctly for for something like that like if i could animate the body of a gorilla what tasks would i be good at and what tasks would i be strangely uh ill prepared for they're really good at pulling and really bad at throwing i bet their backs i want to see wait are they bad at throwing. I bet their backs. I want to see... Wait, are they bad at throwing? Yeah, they can't throw stuff the way we can, I guess, because their forearm is a different... Too long.

Yeah, it's too long. And so they get... The same reason that the angle... Apparently, the length of their forearm imbues a lot more power in the lever action of it. And so that long forearm allows them to grab your fingers, and the muscles, of course, and tear them off. But also, they can't throw shit well well when i see them throw they they throw

like this yeah really like i thought i saw him throw sidearm a lot like i see i've seen that too yeah yeah yeah but never they can't they can't overhand like us yeah overhand is the best way to throw uh you would think so remember i don't know the germans and everybody does another thing like throws sort of you know down yeah yeah did you ever hear like in the world war ii days like apparently the american soldiers were like noticeably and markedly better at throwing grenades than every other group because no one else threw baseballs and so like germans and all them like they just they couldn't throw it as well as Americans could. Maybe that's probably a German grenade.

It's that, is it called a stick? It's a potato masher, right? Yeah, that stick grenade where you've got the handle and the explosive end on it. I would rather throw that than a regular one anyway. I feel like I could flick that motherfucker. Yeah, I wonder how heavy they are. Yeah, I like throwing those in World at War too.

I feel like if I was throwing for distance probably maybe me but maybe not you like because you're good at throwing a ball yeah for distance a ball would definitely be easier than yeah stick yeah well for advantage someone is good at throwing the ball for someone who's kind of not that skilled at either the stick might be better The stick will be harder to fuck up. I've seen so many people get nervous and mess up a grenade throw by the release happening too late. If you haven't thrown in a sport, the release point is important. If they get

too far over, they just throw it over there. Laterally. You see that in some of those opening day pitches sometimes that are embarrassing. I've seen guys throw grenades on the internet just over there instead of the pit that's over there. that like in some of those opening day pitches sometimes that are embarrassing but i saw i've seen guys throw grenades on the internet just over there instead of the pit that's over there right at their own feet yeah the instructor has to like save them or i saw one where it was a demonstration for cops i think recently there's like 30 cops in a field i didn't throw flash

grenades stun grenades of some kind but the dude just kind of threw it to his left and everybody starts running away from it it's it's going off um some people get nervous and and they're uh they can't do things very well their uh their motor skills go to shit i know if your adrenaline's going really hard my hands go numb and start tingling like when i have a big adrenaline dump in tarkov i'd be over here shaking my hands out trying to get. And you know what it is? My brain thinks that I am in such a tense situation that that blood that it's putting in my hands that needs to be in here because we're about to do some shit. I need that blood to power my heart and my liver and I and get it out of there because we're about to get fucked up. It's just going to leak out.

You know, and meanwhile, I'm clicking on pixels. It's funny how your body gets that because when I queue for a multiplayer Age of Empires 2 match, my body thinks that we might actually die because my hands are getting sweaty. Because it is like you were talking about Warhammer 3. Kyle and I have been playing a bunch of that. Warhammer 3 takes a lot of micro a lot of micromanagement of units a huge amount of it i would say realistically the actions per minute you need in warhammer 3 versus age of empires 2 is about 15 to 20 as many like you need probably about five times as many actions per minute in aoe bare minimum the pros get about 180 actions

a minute in aoe like three actions a second so like very very fast like i stopped playing online with aoe for a bit because i like would queue up and it would match me with someone and then i would get nervous and then they would back out and then i'm like i'm just i'm just gonna play against ai again man like i'm stressed and like then you like start playing a game and you're like this is going well my little economy it's it's it's going okay right now and then someone rushes you in a way that you're not prepared for and you're just you're so in your own head freaking out it's so stressful like but you get drawn into it because i know how upset it makes me when someone raids my base and like is

fucking with my early economy and everything and it makes me panic but I keep getting sucked in because I know that feeling of satisfaction when I'm the one fucking up their base early on and it's just like I know in my head I'm like this guy's fucking panicking right now like this guy's having a terrible time right now trying to deal with this if you were a good player like you just wipe the floor with me but we're

both similar tier of shit and so I want to do a rough my love of gaming has been rejuvenated with like AoE and Warhammer 3. I've been playing so much Warhammer 3 with Kyle. We've been having a fucking blast with it with people in the Discord and 1v1ing a ton. I want to play a Rust wipe with you

because what you just described there, the scariness of a base being destroyed, that's what Rust is kind of about for me. It's about going and taking someone else's base and protecting your base. There's a lot of running around and dicking around, but man, it's so scary when, even raiding someone else's base,

because to go raid another person's base, you have to take, you have to bring your rockets out of yours. Now you're outside with those rockets in your bag, right? Someone can come along and kill us and take our rockets. You can't imagine the work that went into making those rockets. All week has been about getting these rockets. And someone can just shoot us right now and take them.

It's very scary. It's four in the morning in the real world. And we set alarms to wake up for our nighttime raids because we want them to be fucking asleep in the real world and in the game world and in the game so we're it's like a movie when they're all wearing ski masks and they're like drilling a hole in the vault being quiet about it that's how i raid we're like sneaking in trying not to make it a lot of i'm down i'm down to try rust like i it's silly in fps's i'm definitely going to be a liability

for a while on on teams but yeah but the only way you're ever going to get better is by like losing a bunch i've been killed so many goddamn times and so many fucking games it ironically the absolute best game for me to start playing on pc was age of empires 2 because it set the anchor point like because that was the first pc game i ever set up a shit ton of hotkeys for it made me think that i was gonna have to set up dozens of hotkeys for every game i play because in aoe like i have one for like my villager like there's 15 of them for select all barracks select all this qa for build, QQ, like all these other things. And so in my head, I was doing that for months and months and months,

getting real quick at it. And I'm like, I feel like I'm kind of ready for other games. Maybe other games won't be too intimidating for me now because I'm good at this really old one. And then I try new games and I realize immediately like, oh my God, I started with like S tier difficult game as far as hotkeys. It is laughable how little I've had to change in Warhammer three. There's not a lot of hotkeys shit.

A lot of the pros don't use hotkeys. I think where I can take bong rips in the middle of games during Warhammer three. And you do. I think the hard part of WASD for me was first person shooters because very quickly I kind of become acclimated to oh yeah this does this and that does that like I could walk around and say an RPG like a Skyrim type game and I'm not gonna bump into trees after like three hours of doing that but Jesus making your

character move while you're aiming like the sort of the way you do on a controller the way you're able to just kind of strafe out of cover and then track a target click and then as soon as you click you're strafing back into cover that sort of fluid way that you're able to play it took years for me because i'm you know maybe slow at learning things and still i don't think i'm very good at it but but i you know i'm as good as i'm gonna get you think that's the genre of game you're best at shooters it it has to be not because i'm necessarily talented at it but just i spent so much time doing it uh i think i'm just better than the average person uh that hasn't spent so much goddamn time researching and and strategizing about it i mean even now like most of my youtube is spent watching warhammer stuff and learning about warhammer i'll spend about an

hour every morning just running simulations. When I drink my coffee, just learning what happens when you throw this rock against that piece of paper. Is that what you're doing? You're doing that to learn? Yeah. I'm just making the cool armies and making them fight.

I'm running simulations that I'm sticking in the back of my brain. Okay, this will do that to this in this scenario. And if you build enough of those, then when you look at a battlefield, you know where to send your stuff and when to, you know, not send your stuff and what to do.

The, the matchups are real important in that game. Yeah. Um, yeah. Yeah. It's a real fun game. I'm really glad you've gotten into gaming.

Uh, we should play a game maybe that gets a bunch of us in on like a co-op type uh game of some kind i like those i like when you got like five guys running through a field on a mission and it's uh and it's a little sketchy there's some missions in rust that are like that uh like there are these you run around the map and you acquire these access key cards and again there's real players on the map who might see you and just kill you and take your shit but and then you just have to bounce from point a to point b swiping the cards and getting access to these underground areas killing ai getting the good loot and then getting

it home but again meanwhile assholes are everywhere trying to kill you and take it from you so every time you see somebody who's like i see people people. I see people. All right, hide. Fucking hide. Don't shoot. Don't shoot. The one guy's like, you shoot them, you make them angry. They'll come get us. I've had that happen so many times. Why don't you shoot them and kill them and win the fight? We are incapable of doing that because it's rust. When you see somebody at long distance in rust, the best case scenario is you upset them.

You have to be so talented to beam someone at range with a machine gun and rust and kill them. Don't you just have to be more talented than them? You have to... Yeah. Which can be hard. Impossible. I could make it my life's mission to be able to

do what those people can do and it would never happen. I would... It's the people who... and it's it's a little different now because they changed the recoil pattern and rust but you had used to be you used to have to be some kind of a savant to make that ak-47 sit still and then hit a target across the map and go and kill them most of the time engagements are sort of picking at each other from long range and like healing up and it's close range where people die and get downed and teams fall apart but uh yeah they've changed the recoil in it it's not as hard now um but i haven't played rust in

yeah because you know a year and a half two years like if you're geared in tarkov you're dressed to kill let's kill. If you're not geared, you know. I always knew there was a one in four chance anyway. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, in Tarkov, you can absolutely beam somebody across the map. You know, one lucky shot will take them down. But Rust is frustrating.

Yeah, I'm so glad you got into the game. When you bought that computer, I was like, ah, there's no way he can afford not to play games with me now. And I have. We've been playing a ton like it is so much fucking fun playing warhammer 3 with kyle on there like like we sometimes we get uh we do 2v2s and then we'll with like us a couple other patrons in there yeah and we had a a funny one last night with a couple of uh patrons in there we we had set up and we were doing some 2v2s and everybody's been getting better and so like kyle and i were on the same team for this one and we weren't doing domination we were doing

land battle which much less skill gap right to the death to fight to the death just fighting to the death there's you know if kyle and i were2ing them in Domination, it wouldn't be fun because we'd just control everything the whole time. And when you ready up in this game, it starts a timer for everyone else that they have to ready up. And it's considered very poor etiquette to do a sneaky ready to try and fool people and make it so their army can't be set up. And we also had a glitch that prevented us from starting the game unless you turned off unit caps now what that means woody is there are certain units in the game that are so unbelievably powerful

that it that the game limits you to one so like there will be a special unit called the black orcs like that's a high like class of orc infantry on your chest yeah that's a really good infantry unit but then there's a special one called the crimson killers and that's a special version of the already powerful black orcs and they're even more expensive and you can only bring one of them the game limits you to one because otherwise it's like one at a time one in the whole game you can't even if you can afford it only one of those and then it blacks out a unique regiment of renown well the regiments of the crimson, you can't get them back. The next game, you can't. Basically, what it's

meant to be is like, you know how there'd be a regiment of fighter pilots, and then there'd be one called like the Killers, like this really dangerous, renowned one. The Red Baron! Regiment of renown. And Kyle had to turn off unit caps, and there's all sorts of regiments around. There's a special one for zombies, especially like regenerating

zombies. There's special ones for everything. And one person does in the two V two match immediately does a sneaky quick ready against me and Kyle. And we do not notice. And the other one at the last second before the game took advantage of the no unit caps and brought nothing but regiments of renown the overpowered ones and then like the battle starts with me and kyle on our side and we're like the first of all we're playing and we're like oh there's four seconds till the game starts my army's not set up my

and so the game starts and both of our armies are in horrible positions because we got fooled and then we start fighting and i'm like god damn the crimson killers and then wait the crimson kill the crimson kit it's all crimson killers it's nothing but crimson killers out here and so we are like desperately trying to fight for our lives for it and and like kyle and i are actually like it's 12 30 it's the last game before bed and i'm like a little cranky at it where i'm like i'm like we're both like you know what you did here guys you know what you did you you sniped us with the army ready and you took a million billion of the best units because we turned off a setting that we had to turn off for the game not to glitch. It's forced sportsmanship. That's what I call it.

Forced sportsmanship. They apologized. And so water under the bridge now. But they beat you. In all honesty, it's only water under the bridge because we still won. What? Yeah, we still won. But yeah.

I didn't see that coming. We're warlords of a pretty. Absolutely. Yeah, we're warlords now. We're pretty impressive. We know the buttons. We know what to click. APMs and such. APMs and such.

APMs and such. It's great. Like, I love RTS top-down war strategy games on maps more than anything. I'm afraid I'm going to get indoctrinated into the figurine group, though. Don't allow that. I'm not going to do it either. Do it. Because I'm into, like, all the other sides of the hobby.

Like, if it were a pentagram of warhammer i kind of like the animation i like the books i like the lore if that's even a thing and all the youtube stuff i like the video games yeah man over there's that tabletop he would have joined me in convincing kyle to get figurines figurines are for cool people who do cool they're fucking they do look neat henry cavill has them and he's cool to see he has talent though he's good at painting figurines you're good at things is he good at it or does he just do it i bet he's good at anything he applies himself he's superman taylor oh you're good i bet he is apply yourself too you can do it and not into artistic things that involves pain no i don't want to own um little man toys though

i think that's the main thing here's the i'm into a lot of nerdy shit, but it's all digital for the most part. There's no evidence, if you walked into my home, of how nerdy I am. It's all on the computer. It's like child porn. There's no dead kids laying around. There's not a little girl tied up in the bed. It's all on the piece of shit computer. All your nerdiness

is tucked away. Who has never had sex with another man, but he's still gay. He knows what he wants. He knows what he likes. He's just faking it. The brawny man with the paper towel since a kid. Right? All Kyle's nerdness is hidden in a folder called 2017 Taxes.

His figurine love pushes it deep down. Kyle doesn't want anyone to know the true him, that he's a figuriner. It's not just that. That's like another level of nerdiness he's a figure and he doesn't want anyone to know i think figging is a thing and it's disgusting that men do what what is figging i don't know but i'm sure that it's a disgusting thing that

men do tell me what figging means because i bet it means like i don't know, but I'm sure that it's a disgusting thing that men do. Tell me what figging means because I bet it means like, I don't know, like putting your balls up your asshole or something. It's something awful. There's going to be some stupid sentence on Urban Dictionary. Yeah, he was talking shit and so I figged him. Kyle's a closet figure and he just doesn't want people to know.

I might be. He's as nerdy as nerdy comes. But here's, see, I thought if I exposed myself to some figging and you know see how i feel and then masturbate and then i would know for sure if i was a figure and and man i went to a youtube channel where they fig and they had like this table in this guy's garage where he had all that you know that green styrofoam that you sort of shaped to make a landscape. My mother had a lot of that.

This guy has a lot of that. Your mother had a little bit. This guy had basically no amount at all. Your mother would be blown away if she saw the amount this man had. Trust me. He's made this. It reminded me of those grown men with model trains

but less cool because trains are real conductors are real dude there's that hat he's wearing a professional wears that something you know what i have i'm sorry let me you got your dark angels and your fucking blood-borne space marines or whatever the fuck and come on man you hand painted all that shit how much does all this cost you could have bought a car how much did all this cost each piece is a fucking 800 thing yeah i mean if you guys have to uh stores where they sell these like if you go to stores where like because i don't i have a ton of nerdy shit around my house people know like when you come in to like a game store, there's, you know, magic cards and board games and everything. And then usually behind the counter,

there's like some Warhammer figurines. If, and even if it's not a Warhammer specific shop, they'll have like a big one. And so like, if you want to get like Kugath or a legendary Lord, like a big figurine, that's hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

And if you want to get Kugath's right hand Lieutenant, that guy's going to cost you a couple hundred bucks. And so these people you see with the big... They're gray. Yeah, they're gray. I saw a couple you could buy painted, which seems like it kind of defeats the purpose of the hobby for the people who are into it.

Or maybe some people are really into just collecting and not the painting. I don't know. But this is not something I will get into. No. Magic is nerdy enough. And magic, like, it a grand and it doesn't take a ton like if you were frugal it would cost you about a grand an army i think someone told me they're probably a little and it would be the magic the gathering problem again or any kind

of pay to win game where you go into the store and you're happy with your army that you spent eleven hundred dollars on over the course of a couple years, and then Joe Neighbor comes in, and he's got an army that you're suddenly like, oh, damn. I thought my space marine army was so cool, but that orc army is like, maybe I can dabble in. Maybe I can start.

Just one figurine. And then that's how it gets you. Just one more deck. And I don't like hobbies that take up space. As much as I think Woody's former woodworking hobby is a great one. It's space intensive. It is space intensive.

It's one of the most space intensive. You need a horse to get any worse, right? Like fucking stables. You're totally right. What woodworkers sometimes do is they pack it too tight i think actually strength training does that too and then you know when when you have to move shit to use shit now your shop sucks and i would argue that about a

lot of gyms too like if you have to like get the cars out of the garage and take everything off the walls to start working out you don't have a gym yeah i don't know do your gym but um yes woodworking you can't pack it too tight because you got to deal with like sheet supply wood and 16 foot long boards and shit like that i uh i don't want to take up space like i'm on the other side what if hear me out on the coolness scale what if i converted the game of thrones room to the train room? Right? This is a big room. You wouldn't tell us. It's like 30 feet by 60 feet.

I don't even know how big this room is, but it's really big. And you could have a cool train. You should do it. That's cooler than Game of Thrones at this point. No one talks about Game of Thrones. Trains are evergreen. Well, maybe they're not anymore. Are you legitimately into the trains or are you just being silly?

Maybe a little both. A little of both. I'm a little silly but but there's a part of me that's like some of this shit's cool and and the scale the scale is a decision i think you make early on as a kid i don't know what the numbers are but i had like a 1 256 scale like you know the smallest kind of train but you make them just a little bit bigger and they get really neat and you go a little bit bigger than that i really neat and you go a little bit bigger than that i don't know what this does to the price but i've seen people sit on their like trains and they can pull humans around damn and it's like this is kind of neat like they run on coal there's some that you can like shove a little coal in there and make a little you've got

a real steam engine huh i've seen that um i've seen some that look like they run on coal, but you know, low key there's propane in there or something else. You want a coal burning train in your house? I don't know. Um, ventilation has been included. This guy,

you are looking at him with his whistle. That's me. I'm just a few. Ah, all aboard the Alzheimer Express. What is the handkerchief for? That's for my spittle. I mean, that guy's just having a fun time

blowing on the trains. Look at that. There's Senator Fetterman. That's a regular sized train. It is. Same color as Thomas. That's a regular train train it is same color as Thomas that's a regular train that train's neat

I can tell he's into trains from the hat that's what told me I can tell he's not all there by the vacant look no that guy's taken every bit of irrelevant information in his life and replaced it with train facts I had a co-er that was like that.

He was an accountant and was just so into trains. He had dedicated his basement to his train and he had recreated the railroad infrastructure in the New Jersey, Pennsylvania area. And literally, he took pictures and recreated the graffiti in his basement and stuff like that. He was into it in a super big way.

We'll joke about this or maybe... I think stuff like that. He was into it in a super big way. We'll joke about this. I think stuff like this is really cool. I think it's a cool little hobby to have. I was about to go the opposite way. No, go the opposite way. It's better for us to disagree. This one to me seems lame. I don't know why this is not caring. I don't care what anybody else does,

but I'm just saying, if someone was trying to get me into that hobby and they said, Kyle, why won't you join us in training and trainery? I would say it looks like a pathetic old man hobby to hide from your wife. And no one should care that much about outmoded methods of transportation or track-based steam-powered locomotives. We should really go talk to a therapist together.

I'll come if it'll make you feel better. There's something wrong with you. That's what I would say. Because it's ridiculous. Look, you go spend that $40,000 on a fucking beat-up Ferrari and then restore it in your garage. Dude, I'll kiss your ass and tell you how cool your hobby is. Why is that cooler than trains? Because he ends up with a Ferrari at the end.

This guy, look at him. You know what I don't see? Anyone around him willing to stand in a picture next to this. He's absolutely not going to let anyone else take credit for this. I will say whatever that is looks incredible. You can film movies there. The thing about the Ferrari that gives it the edge over this to me is you can go somewhere outside. I would argue that if you bought a beat-up Ferrari and then your thing was to bring it back to life and make it like new.

Sure. thing was to bring it back to life and make it like new sure that and making a train track with like recreating some area to me a really parallel they're both kind of mechanical they're both kind of physical they're both kind of crafty they're both kind of mechanically intelligent i don't know if that's a thing like they're a lot in common but if you take that ferrari and you so much as get a fucking milkshake 18 miles from here, now we've elevated this hobby to another thing. The wind in your hair, the like real life aspect to it. Whereas this guy can't take this outside his basement. I just think of like remember Sopranos, how Bobby was portrayed for his hobby.

That is how I feel about trainery. Didn't they portray people negatively for oral sex? You think none of the, you don't think any part of this. Well, the whole point was that that was an outmoded ideal that none of them like actually held themselves to Tony ate pussy. They all ate pussy.

Hey, it goes on in this bedroom, stays in this bedroom. She's like, yeah, twice a year, twice a year. I like the, yeah wait but kyle you seriously don't think this is cool at all none of this is kind of cool to you

something you wouldn't like to just hang out i wonder what's wrong with i'll be honest like something about this makes me think there's something wrong with the guy who spends this much time doing this. This is just Kyle's closet figging denial. It could be. But the thing about this hobby, I imagine him alone by himself without... You got train buddies and stuff. I can't... The train buddies show up to look when you're done. This guy is a group expert in the online train community.

Yeah. This guy... Yeah, he's a modder on our trainery. Yeah. He's a power-hungry jerk. Look at that. A fun time for families. This guy, look how happy he is with that kid. Nuts to butts.

That guy loves trains. There's not enough room for us. Guys, hear me out. I have an idea. Let's alternate with children. Let's all sit on the train and see. They're doing a weight test. Just's inside look what's in his hand he's shoveling coal into that motherfucker he is and that's pretty cool oh come on that's neat yeah you don't think that's neat all right see this is outdoors then it becomes something kind of neat it's what what's weird

isn't that you own a model train it's's when they build that big place in their garage, and the whole room has become the train room forever. And you know when he dies, their family just smashes it to smithereens. Zach, can you go back a picture? I would tell that guy, I'd be like, you know, when you die, they're going to smash the fucking Grand Central Station. They're going to take old Ben, the locomotive, and throw it out into a dumpster.

They're going to sell everything to the highest bidder on eBay. And guess what? That's me. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to become the I'm saying this in his hospital bed. I hate trains. I hate trains. I hate trains. You know what I hate more than trains? People who like trains. I hate every kind of train that I can more than trains? People who like trains.

I hate every kind of train that I can't collect and put in my basement for me. I never thought trains were interesting or cool. Any more interesting or cool than wheelbarrows or, you know, the exit door to a movie theater. It was just another item that existed in the world. How about this, Jack? What about those yellow cat, those really big yellow cat construction trucks that were made of metal? See, I grew up in a world where those, my dad

had tractors and stuff and his friends had, you know, I would see construction happen. I saw the real ones. Like I had a toy tractor that I liked playing with because I saw my grandpa's real tractor like you didn't yeah i didn't get any toys like that oh i got yeah mostly give like little little four-year-old kyle the toy a little tractor you know i had a four-year-old i had the

cheeks that's a good gift that's a good oh that's a good so i i saw this picture not the guy in front but the other two grown men those are the kind of people that our fans would say look just like Woody. Yeah, look at that. Look at Woody riding the, which one? All of them. They all look just like Woody. They look just like Woody. And I'm like, really?

You know what I love here is this is an old grandpa who just loves trains. That's Woody and Colin from eight years ago. His sons are not that sold on the trains. That's Woody and Colin from eight years ago. His sons are not that sold on the trains. They don't really care. And even the grandkids are kind of like, whatever. But they're playing into Grandpa's train interest and having a nice family moment.

Very sweet. Who put that fisherman cap on Opie? They probably were fishing beforehand. Look, they're out to the great outdoors. I hope that kid's got sunscreen on. Yes, he needs it. You think it's a long route? Look at the guy in the back. Look at his fucking genetics.

They did not fall far. Look at that little man's hairline. That guy's got the same side profile. You know what I'm stuck on? Maybe it's just me, but that poor redheaded kid. Yeah. His calves look like forearms to me. That's just not what humans look like.

He's a little kid. Yeah, he'll grow up. Or he'll get bad cap genetics and he won't that you never know there was i remember talking about a stage in puberty where like i had two crab and crabgrass patches on the side above my dick and and it just took a long time to bridge the middle and kyle said woody talks about a stage of puberty that i've never experienced. You guys didn't have that long, slow, drawn out

It's like you started and then stopped again. Yes, it was terrible. You'll have an early spring. Where I was headed with that was this. That kid's calves, I never went through that phase. Three-year-old Woody didn't have forearms for calves.

You were saying, Kyle? I should just end it now with those calves. Get laid out in front of that train. That's how those old guys kill themselves. They lay down on the tracks of their train and then shoot themselves. Banging into their head over and over? Yeah, because the train won't do it.

No. I think that trains is a great hobby. Do you really? No. Thank you, Gene. Oh, come on. It is great. do it yeah no i i think that trains is a great hobby for do you really no thank you if that's what you're into that i think it's fine but oh oh you know that's what no why is it not a good hobby oh me personally i would not invest in trains it takes up an enormous amount of space and after you make one route and you watch it do one route I feel like you'd be like alright fucking redo actually that would be the fun part

is like redoing it here's what I saw Bobby doing and here's the lamest part he was pretending he was an actual conductor and he's like wearing the hat right and the overall that makes it better to me fuck man

he's role fun he's role-playing he's doing a character like just having a good time who's he hurting you know what those things call you're talking about like yeah he's he's having this family's that'd be a funny skit like skit you see a guy like just like painting the final bit of his train and it is immaculate like clearly a million dollar thing and he goes upstairs into like a single wide hovel with hungry children he's like shut up that's train funds like hey hey where'd my coal money go who's been getting into my coal money you know what coal costs in the 21st century? It's very hard to come by.

It gets very common. Am I crazy? Where would you go to get coal? West Virginia. That's good. I mean, he doesn't know. That's what I mean. They got free coal samples there.

You just walk up, take what you want. Coal mines. Public access. are there public access mines anymore or did enough people die that they they shut that down when you say public access do you mean are there mine shafts somewhere i could walk up to and just go down in because there are no i got i got open one when you what do you mean by open like still working oh they wouldn't let you in because that's like going to a chemical plant and hey what's going on in here but do you but you could sneak in i bet why don't you just

sneak into one that's not into dupont i suppose it's a working i'm not stupid if i'm gonna sneak into one and i'm gonna get stuck i'm sneaking into one that has people showing up on monday so you're gonna put like a the cap on? Why are you invading a mine? I think sneaking into coal mines is inherently stupid. You can't use that as an argument. There's so little payoff to sneaking into a real mine. 15 cents worth of coal.

You try to dress up as a miner, but you're dressed like an old-timey miner with a pickaxe. I've got no shirt on, coveralls, one button undone, pickaxe. I've got some black lung, Pop.

I'm sooty before I show up because I want to look the part. I remember I used to go off-roading in Harlan, Kentucky a lot, and that is a coal mining town. You'd see the coal miners come out. It's clear that these people haven't seen daylight for like eight hours and their faces are just coated with coal like dick van dyke and mary poppins and

stuff and uh i wasn't sure if like i think that was a look they carried with pride like everyone knows coal miners make bank in that area relatively yeah bank. This is a town where everyone makes $22,000 a year and these guys are pulling in over $60,000, $70,000 a year. But they're going to dire soon. Can they just wear a respirator? I don't know.

I think they find that it's just hard to live in a respirator. Actually, as I think about it, the pattern on their face from the coal dust had some sort of respirator pattern on it. I bet they don't get the black lung anymore. I bet that's a thing of the past.

I would hope that modern U.S. coal miners aren't getting killed by coal. I bet they are. We've got people for that. 16% of coal miners still contract black lung. Jesus. That's a high

percentage. That's too high. Man, what's the general population's black lung percentage, though? That might be the norm. Yeah, it's probably about... The kids say it's high without a control group. Black lung?

I never met anyone with it. I don't even know exactly what black lung is to know right you know i think my father-in-law had it he had it like he recovered from it he got a big settlement for it um he was a fireman and they didn't get the proper equipment to fight their fires so they would just go in there and breathe smoke. And he had lung damage from it. Yeah, this is... I mean, the picture on the Wikipedia,

I bet they picked a really bad chunk of a cold lung. I bet they're all not that bad. It's not good. Yeah, they cherry-picked their black lung photo to make it look like a big deal. Is that what you said?

Is that your theory? To make it look like too big of a deal. Contrast! The same way they did Trayvon Martin. Come on! Give him a fair share! They upped the sharpness, made it look all evil. Man, I want to play video games. me ask you that so you're feeling the pull of video

games right now sometimes when i get super into video games it can come at the cost of some of the other productive things in my life like if i'm really really into video games i'm probably not really really into strength training at the same time I know Kyle's not like that but I have been do you find that like I don't know it's taken over something important yeah if I do a little like it's usually a short-term thing like when I got really into Age of Empires months and months ago and then got really into warhammer very recently in both instances like i think i missed two three workouts just a couple times just being like well kyle just texted me to play warhammer and i haven't done push day but fuck that i want to go play warhammer and so but after a few days of that in a row i'm like oh it's two in the morning and i'm not tired why

and it's like well because you moron, you're sitting still looking at goblins and ghouls on your screen all day. And so I fix that pretty quick because I my sleep schedule gets fucked if I don't work out immediately. Other shit like this is me talking about me like if I'm really

into video games and this is my thing like when I play Tarkov, I would play T tarkov for myself privately during the day and i would make a lot of money and then i'd play at night more recklessly with cooler kits that people might want to see and maybe even lose money during those sessions hopefully not but it could go that way and then the next day back and um am i missing workouts maybe not exactly but that grass is long. And, you know, that repair has been put off and something else or something else.

Not you? No, that definitely happens where something will pop up and it's like, fuck, I was supposed to call and pay that bill. That wasn't on auto pay for some reason. And I forgot again. The one that happens to me where I have to shut it down is I will rationalize totally any excuse to have food delivered in. Kyle's like, hey, we're playing Warhammer all night. You in?

I'm like, yes. There's no chance I'm going to go eat something healthy. I'm going to be sitting there and be like, well, I'm gaming with my boys. I'm going to order a pizza. When I get really into something, my food ordering increases. Where I prioritize that.

Because you don't have time. Or I don't want to make the time, selfish or stupidly. That too. The healthy thing to order is hibachi. And not to eat the yum yum sauce. It's like $12 to $15. You got to hit that $12. Way cheaper than mine.

Isn't the point of hibachi that certainly evil yellow white sauce? You can't have that. You cannot have the yum. That's the worst sauce in the world for you. I looked it up because I was curious.

I was ordering so much hibachi. How much is in this yum yum sauce? Each tablespoon I think was 150 or 200 calories. It's like the same as butter. It's like you might as well pour liquid melted butter on your rice and meat.

I cut that out and now all of a sudden you have white rice because I just get steamed rice, not the fried rice. You've got grilled chicken or grilled sirloin or filet mignon and veggies and there's some oils that shouldn't be in there but fuck it we can deal with that and i'll just put sriracha on there and that's about as healthy as you can and they give you that good soup i throw all that shit i literally throw that straight into the trash you don't drink this or eat the soup that stupid fucking salad all that straight in the trash and i hope a kid goes hungry well the salad i don't eat this or eat this? That stupid fucking salad. All that straight in the trash.

And I hope a kid goes hungry. Well, the salad I don't eat because I used to get those at like hibachi places when I'd go and I'd be like, this salad's great. And then you're like, oh, it's because it's like iceberg and like a shit ton of Thousand Island. Like I'm I'm I'm healthier avoiding this salad. But the soup, the soup is great. It's just salty. No, throw it straight in the trash. Kyle, your hibachi without

the yum yum sauce is just healthy eating. It's a quick way to get tasty rice, veggies, and rice delivered, which is why you should be delivering to begin with. It's like, man, I don't have time. I'm going to pay a premium for my food so that I can have my time to play this video

game. Although, unless you're buying in bulk, then making your own hibachi was going to cost you $20 anyway by the time you bought a package of chicken and everything else that goes into it. It's not hibachi anymore. If I told you I had a hack to make

french fries healthier, just don't do the or oil. Just have a dry potato yeah you'd be like all right buddy that is healthier but it sucks now yeah i mean it still tastes like hibachi to me i just uh forego the yum yum sauce and use sriracha instead and i like sriracha a lot i think it's got a lot of flavor and i like hot sauce and everything this ties into one of my general tips which is like eat healthy for a while and your standards will lower oh big time i i used to think vegetables tasted good because yeah good tasted good because there was a ton of butter on the butter and salt on your vegetables that makes them delicious still works it's true but if you take off the butter and salt, it only sucks for a couple of weeks.

And then you're like, you know what? I, I taste the carrots and the green beans. Yeah. There's a, there's a cornucopia of flavors bursting in my mouth. Yeah.

Both peas and green beans. The biggest one is when you haven't had anything sweeter than orange juice or yeah, probably anything sweeter than juice in months and months and you have real sugar again it's like yeah this is too much this is too sweet this is gross it's like eating pure frosting you know it's it's you're describing a phenomenon i am not familiar with i really i am like an alcoholic with sugar. There was an alcoholic came to my high school and he explained what it's like.

He's, you know, you haven't had alcohol for a long time and then, you know, but it's your thing. It was your life. It was everything. It was where your happiness came from. And,

and it's been 18 months and you say to yourself, just one, I'll just have one just to see what's up. And he tastes it and he gets that comforting, happy burn that comes down. And he goes, oh, my old friend, you and I together again. That is me and sugar.

That is me. If you toss an M&M at me right now, I get that comforting glow. Well, then settles you down like a Twix. Just one Oreo. Just one Oreo sitting there. One Oreo is just a promise of more to come. I'd rather have no Oreos.

Have you seen Giannis, the Greek freak? He's an NBA player. You might not know him, but I think he's actually Greek anyway. He comes to America, and as a child, he could never afford. He grew up in a really poor place, Oreos. And he tries Oreos, and he's like, whoa, this is it. This is my new diet. I'm eating an Oreo-based diet.

And then a month in, he's like, all right, I've had enough Oreos. They're kind of dry. Oreos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is too much. And he has a teammate be like, have you ever dipped them in milk? Oh. He's like, you put them in the milk? And he's like, yeah, you dip them in milk. Oreos are amazing.

And he's like, all right, I'll try it. So he takes his oreo and he drops it to the bottom of the glass and they're like no no no you can't do that you're doing it wrong so he he fishes it out and he tries it you have to see this guy's like it's really emotive in his face he's like oreos and milk are amazing i've never stopped i'm an oreo and milk guy. Meanwhile, this is a guy who's unaware that America has turned the Oreo into 50 other products now.

There are cereals. There are spreads. You can take an Oreo frosting that will go right on your toast and eat it for breakfast if you want. There's Oreo everything now, Taylor. There's Oreo everything. You need to go down that aisle more. Greek is super cool.

What? Yeah. Sounds sweet. Oh, and you He's down that aisle more. Oreo tampons. It's super cool. Yeah. Sounds sweet. Oh, and you could dip them in your tea. This. Oreos. Not dipping them in anything. No. Oreos are... You know what I don't like, though? The Mega Stuff Oreo is just too much.

That's where you're so... Wait, wait. How much more is Mega Stuff than Double Stuff? It's like Quadruple Stuff, stuff i think it's way too much you know a younger me would have said you're so wrong but the maturity as i age has shown me that those those dry chocolate bits that suck independently they carry a good bit of that total flavor and itulthood is when you realize the chocolate parts of the Oreo have a function too. Childhood is all cream. It's all the sugar. Yeah, look at this. Whoever made Thin should be put in prison.

But wait, if the chocolate part's thin too, then they're so bad? Actually, Mega Stuff, that doesn't look bad because the chocolate part is wider too. Why do they have something called Most stuff that's above mega stuff? It's like the Power Rangers now. Because diabetes is an epidemic.

It should be giga stuff or penta stuff. Like, what's bigger than mega stuff? I would like more cookie than... Come on. It goes from megabyte to gigabyte. Just make it giga stuff. Yeah. Giga stuff.

The Ultra Cream Pie. Zach nailed it. That's what it should be called. They'll probably sell you a peanut butter jar of that stuff. The fluff? Yeah.

I can't remember how great it is. No, their stuff. That's trademarked stuff. You can't get that anywhere else. I was aware that most stuff has two F's. I'm only well over 70. There's probably a little asterisk

that looks like an exclamation point at the end of it that ties to a claim on the back that's like most stuff is a claim made by the Pepsi Corporation. The subsidiary. I don't know. Pepsi owns so many snack. I know Pepsi owns Frito-Lay, right? And Frito-Lay, right?

And Frito-Lay owns a ton of different stuff. I'm going to look it up. I'm curious. What's your favorite Little Debbie? Because nobody likes the raisin cream pies, but they're my favorite. Whatever that is looks retarded. That is absurd. It is the most Oreo

Oreo cookies and cream. It's already cookies and cream! Yeah, I don't like and cream It's already cookies and cream Yeah I don't like that It's literally cookies and cream You're right this is spitting in God's face It's like making a ham sandwich That's filled with a ground up ham sandwich You were already there

You know that's how they make Twixes Dude the Oreo answer Was interesting Yeah did you know that the inside of a Twix is made from crushed up irregular twix what nah yeah the inside of a twix is made of twix it's all caramel ones no the the cookie crushed up part really yeah like all the ones that aren't right because i watched some video where some guy was like did you know that twix are made of twix i'm like now i gotta fucking watch this shit and so then i i did and dude that's a really complicated manufacturing software problem so hear me out i used to work in this business if you were to make like a ballpoint pen right imagine an exploded

diagram of a ballpoint pen you're like all right for every pen we sell we need one spring one tube of ink one little clicker thing and a clip thing and a big tube and whatever all right cool if i told you that for every pen there's like a reciprocal not recursive like pen inside the pen you're like shit the ingredients for a pen are infinity like there's no end to how many things i need to make pens how do i solve? I was on a tech support call and one of the ingredients in beer somehow was beer. And I was like, well, I don't know anything about beer and I don't know how to solve this problem for you.

I'm only 23 years old. You're like, but wait, where does the beer come from? The store idiot. It's a rough conversation. It's like a sourdough. You get a starter beer. Oh, do you know some of those starter doughs are

over 100 years old with the sourdough stuff? Yeah. It looks like some of those perpetual stews. So a perpetual stew, Woody. Some of those have been going for a decade or more. It's a big cauldron over a heat source and they have had it boiling with food in it that they have been serving

for years. Really? They just keep adding ingredients but it's never at zero. It's never even close. Dude, I looked up who owned Oreo and so many fucking layers. Hang on. The Oreo is owned

by Nabisco, a subsidiary of Mondelez, which is a subsidiary of Cadbury, a well-known British candy maker. I didn't know that's where it stops. Oh, okay. Cadbury's their own man, eh? That's surprising. As far as I know.

Easter eggs. I don't know if I've even had... Yeah, you're right. Easter eggs. I've definitely had one of those. Cadbury owns Nabisco. You've eaten tons of shit, I guess. Oh, I just mean the Cadbury eggs in particular. Those cream-filled chocolate eggs. I love those things.

They're amazing. I feel like I'm the only one. That cream is a turn-off. I'm like, how do people not know? They're incredible. I like the cherries, the chocolate-covered cherries that have the cum inside. Well, is it cum or is it not? I always

hoped it was cum. I've never liked chocolate-covered cherries too much. Don't put fucking fruit in my nonsense. A cherry that's been pickled in sugar and you're calling fruit. There's probably still

fucking vitamins in it. No, there's never any vitamins in cherries. We don't eat cherries. No one eats normal cherries. The only way we eat cherries is when we pickle them in sugar and turn them into a candy. I eat normal cherries.

As a kid, I would. You eat all sorts of bizarre things. That latke bread that you eat every day is a weird item that most people don't know you eat. Lavish bread that you eat every day is a weird item. Lavish bread, you're right. I'm confused now. When do I eat cherries? Jackie cuts them up and puts them in my Grey Doucette

protein French toast. Oh, damn. Okay, that sounds pretty fancy. And that's not a dessert, and so fruit's fine there does she pit them first or they come pitted she pits them yeah it's dangerous business

what if she misses one then you eat a little bit of Jackie what are you there's a surprise fingertip in there one of my greatest fears is biting down on a pit as hard as that you know when you're eating you're reckless abandoned Taylor you would it'd be like unmovable object One of my greatest fears is biting down on a pit as hard as I, you know, when you're eating, you're reckless, abandoned Taylor.

You would, it'd be like unmovable object, unmovable force. Taylor bites a pit. He has a nuclear fusion happens. And that's how he became the nuclear jaw. Yeah. You can fight crime there.

No, I'm so afraid of biting down on a pit and breaking a tooth. Really? Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to go anywhere near a pitted fruit. I've broken my tooth. Olives. Olives can't be trusted.

I've never been a fan of olives. I don't think they bring enough to the table. Don't olives have soft pits? That little red thing? That is not a pit. What is it? It's a pimento. Is it put there on purpose?

Yeah, they stuff it in there. Seems like a high effort. Pimento's great. I don't eat olives. I don't eat olives and I don't let Jackie eat olives. It's good. Why don't you let Jackie eat olives? Because she's temporarily repulsive to me

after having eaten olives. That's what you're going for. Don't do it. It's definitely the worst pizza topping. I like it on pizzas. I like it on sandwiches. And I like it in vodka. That's where it's good.

I like blue cheese. i had these blue cheese stuffed olives that are repulsive they are huge they're like the size of a goddamn testicle they like split it perfectly they must have done it by hand and they pump it full of the most tart blue cheese you've ever had and then they throw it in whatever that olive juice is, that pickling brine, and then send it to me. I keep those in my fridge. Every now and then, I'll pop one of those in my mouth when I walk by and they are disgusting.

Why do you keep eating them? I paid so much for them that there's just no goddamn way I'm throwing them away. I make sure that someone sees me every time I eat one so they think I'm fancy and refined. Wow didn't pop it in all of it is one of my blue there they are not that brand those look i wouldn't want amish buggy brand ones but honestly i bet the amish make best like really good ones yeah they made those by they're making those by hand though i

bet you can see where they punched out the pit. I'm surprised that you dislike olives so much. They don't bring anything to pizza. I like the flavor. I recognize the flavor. And olive paste is really good on sandwiches, too. You know what? I think pineapple and chicken gets too much hate as a pizza topping.

No chicken, but I'm... I can't control the quality and the texture of the chicken meat. True. That's the problem there. That's why I'm against it. If it were good, like white meat shredded chicken with buffalo sauce, that sounds amazing, but it never really is.

But pineapple, on the other hand, that comes out of a can. It's always good. So I like pineapple and jalapeno and pepperoni on my pizza. That's how I order pizza. Really? Yeah. A little pineapple adds some zest. It adds some sweet. It adds a little tang. It's a good addition.

I like pineapple. I've never been more sure that I'm in the majority opinion. You got the spicy, the sweet, the salty. It's good. Pineapple is wonderful. Pineapple is delicious on its own, but it doesn't belong on pizza. The temperature of a wet, moist piece of pineapple does not return to room temperature at the same rate of every other

bit of the pizza so you have colder than the rest of the pizza pineapple oh no it's hot it's hot when i buy like the pineapple like i can i can tell that when the pineapple juice instantly it's hot what's it like four minutes later as it cools faster than the pepperoni then the sauce i think it has more thermal capacity i think it cools slower that you can eat a cold pizza and the pineapple still is like a boiling inside yeah yeah i don't think it's too hot you know i think you lack the pineapple experience fuck you usually i've gotta cool that pineapple off the pineapple experience. Fuck you. Usually I've got to cool that pineapple off.

Oh, honey, don't bite it. There's pineapple on there. You know how hot that stays. You know what? Hours at a time. It's like a thermos. Jackie makes meals for me and they have cherry tomatoes. You cook a cherry tomato,

that thing is burning hot when the rest of the meal has cooled off. It's just a time bomb waiting for you to bite and explode its roof of your mouth burning juices. I love eating cherry tomatoes. It reminds me of that scene in Return of the King when Denethor is eating little tomatoes on his pewter plate as, obviously, Faramir is riding back towards Osgiliath, trying to seize it from Gothmog, the lieutenant of... I don't

know any of this Harry Potter shit. Sauron's armies. At the behest of the Witch King. At the behest of the Witch King. Witch King. Just arrived from his keep at Minas Morgul of course concurrently we obviously know that Sam and Frodo were making their way up to Shelob's Lair

but anyway let's just talk about Lord of the Rings for a while I want to rewatch it's a scene that I love in Return of the King but like lots of movies if you guys are similar to me like I don't want to watch a

scene that I recall so fondly. I like the build-up into it. I like watching the film again. That scene when they're in Minas Tirith and the troll is banging on the gate at the top of Minas Tirith and Gandalf is with

Mary behind I'm sorry, Pippin, behind I'm sorry Pippin behind the wall and Pippin's like is this how it ends and he's like end no no this is the end and then like he does that whole thing and like such a fucking excellent scene

and every time I get to that in the movie I'm like damn I'm glad I watched the whole movie to like get to this one again yeah I like that scene a lot and in the background you can see the whole battlefield in the distance mountain doom and everything and then uh you see um which movie is this it's a second yeah the third one yeah yeah and then then all of a sudden that like menace morgel that green fucking spire of energy shoots into the end of the sky and they see and frodo and sam see it because they're right there and gandalf and mary or whoever looks up and they see it too and it gives you that cool perspective

because it's rare in the movie that you're like i wonder where gandalf is right now in perspective to frodo but in that moment you're like oh yeah gandalf's basically looking at frodo in that moment that's cool yeah yeah well they're about to they're gonna remake that thing and they're gonna fix it this time it's gonna be so much better to remake that thing and they're going to fix it this time. It's going to be so much better. Not only that, Warner Brothers is going to fix Harry Potter for us. I heard that too. No, I don't care about that. Yeah, that's not your... Actually, you know what?

In solidarity, I care about that. Who should they cast as Harry Potter? Tom Holland? The person who's going to be Harry Potter, we don't know. It's going to be a 10-year-old child. Probably a famous 10-year-old kid out there. Yeah, it's going to be a 10-year-old child. Probably a famous 10-year-old kid out there. Yeah, it'll be all 10-year-old kids because they want to do a year of the show

for every year of the book. Seven years. Seven seasons starting with 10-year-old children. Oh, it's TV. Yeah, on HBO. So they might fuck. Owned by Warner Brothers. So they're going to pick some...

They usually, when they do this shit, pick an unknown actor, right? Especially for a kid. It will be a 10-year-old. So again, how many 10-year-old actors do we know? I follow them when... Well, there's little Jimmy. Not his notebook.

I guess that's not true because Frodo did a bunch of stuff. And I don't know if uh the daniel ratcliffe was an actor before harry potter if they just threw him in that there were little children who we'd never seen before all of them were i think that it was like a big casting call they did a really good job of the casting like all jokes aside in harry potter those stars turned out to be good through young adulthood. As actors, you mean?

As actors, yeah. And a lot of them sort of grew up kind of attractive, like Hollywood attractive. I don't think any of them were ugly. Yeah. I guess I was thinking of Weasley, but whatever. He's not ugly. It's easy to get that wrong. know how many kids like get super fucking awkward and weird looking or they're good at acting at eight and they're terrible at 14

they get all self-conscious and you can see them thinking about what people think about them while they're acting what makes a child actor interesting looking can often mean that they'll be a bizarre looking adult as well. Sometimes you see them, it's like, oh man, you're the cutest kid ever. They mature into a weirdly aged cute man. Because he has childlike features.

McCulloch Culkin has a bit of an odd look to him. Especially a few years ago when he was dating Mila Kunis. Maybe eight years ago. He looked real cool. Zach, can you find two pictures for me? I want to see Bran Stark. Bran Stark from Game of Thrones in season one and season eight. Bran Stark in season one?

Like, I did not see him growing into like an ugly young adult. And Zach will find season one in a second. I don't remember him being ugly. I remember him like being way too fucking big for his wheelchair with his like gangly, like 16 year old boy legs. But I'm trying to picture his face. I remember him being super ugly.

We'll see if you agree. So there he is in season one, especially on the left, right? That's a cute kid. Normal looking kid. Yeah. And then find a season eight for me try

to make my point find them all okay you don't see him there though like i like that it's juxtaposed and you can see how it is on the left on the right like you have to get a better picture in season eight he doesn't look good maybe i'm misremembering i never honestly every time brand was on screen i don't fucking care like every time you come on there it'd be like enough and every time season eight was on your tv yeah he didn't care but uh oh shit we've been having so much fun we're at 220 and i haven't i haven't let everyone know who the show's brought to them by. This episode of PKA is brought to you by realdbg.com. Hold on to your dicks, folks. We're going to need some parental advisory warnings

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And the alcohol kind of feeling like as soon as you drink, you're like, Oh, okay. It's already in my bloodstream. I definitely think the a hundred milligrams are still stronger. Like if you're looking to get housed, like bucked up, like a hundred milligram on, I think that's still the strongest thing are still stronger. If you're looking to get housed, like fucked up, 100 milligram one, I think

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what I think. That's what we all think here. So check it out. Excellent code PKA or code Jizz. Get anything there at Derek's site that you want. And I just got a shipment today from him. And did you guys get it of a bunch of energy drinks? So I guess

he makes like uh i got like a 12 pack of gorilla mind like arctic white energy drinks today and so i haven't tried one yet but it's pretty cool if you guys i'm halfway scared of a gorilla mind energy drink you know it's like maximum effectatious dose of caffeine taurine and some other things that i'm absolutely gonna check to make sure that it because i bet it's like a bang like i would imagine 9 a.m do not take it you'll be up till tomorrow dude i made a mistake well not a mistake i felt like i had to today like i don't drink caffeine afternoon hardly ever but like 4 p.m came around and i was just tired and dragging ass today and was like why don't you take your daily nap i don't take naps during i i if they

throw me for a loop i don't like how do you get through the day well i usually get through just staying awake the real question is what were you doing awake before 6 p.m in the raw dog in life huh but i i had a coffee 150 milligram caffeine coffee at like 4 50 p.m which is later than i've tried caffeine in your it's a can and it says 150 it's a little like coffee shot little thing with like a zero calorie make five calories i don't know and uh i had that and i shouldn't have drank the whole thing but i was was like, I'm very tired and I need very energy. And so I like drank all of it. And at like five, 10,

five 15, I'm like, I'm ready for the show. Like I'm, I'm ready to like start talking, start doing this by like five 30, five 35. I'm pacing around my house because I'm,

I'm like, I shouldn't have the whole fucking thing. You dumbass. Like I'm, I'm pacing around my house because I'm like I shouldn't have the whole fucking thing you dumbass like I'm I'm like sweaty a little bit right I was at the beginning of the show like I could feel my hands being a little sweaty from wonder if you'll crash during the show like if the last

hour you're gonna hope not if we're only an hour and a half left so I'm gonna have so much fucking trouble falling asleep tonight I drink every night I would i could i'll probably have another cup of coffee tonight that's insane it doesn't bother my sleep i honestly it makes me kind of sleepy in a weird way if i if i have a cup of coffee late at night i'll it'll it'll tucker me out i don't know there's just coffee in general it doesn't make sense yeah i I don't know. Just coffee in general? It doesn't make sense. Yeah. I mean, if you drink that much coffee,

you're probably just so desensitized to caffeine that it's not... It just doesn't really hit you. I do drink soda all day. Probably a 12-pack of soda a day and then three cups of coffee maybe. Something like that. Okay, that's shit ton.

Yeah, because you don't get caffeine-free soda. Do you? No. What would be the point? I drink caffeine-free Diet Pepsi because I don't want to be up late. What? Yeah. See, that's why you're so... It tastes the same. That's why you're so

bitch-made that a little Starbucks one-shot has you trembling. Like you're a little delicate flower about to lose her fucking virginity over you. I am a bitch. Jesus Christ. Fucking gonna have to harden you up you got a new uh you got it taylor got a new gaming mouse today i i uh i i'm i'm excited i'm gonna get it we're gonna be in the pro league soon we're gonna we're gonna be hosting our own

tournaments it's gonna be great oh yeah oh mouse buddies for life now the logic the logitech 502 or whatever Logitech 502 it's very nice little they need to make mice that's what I would figure yeah a little bit larger and that would be more comfortable I think it would be easier to I kind of I do this with my hand I'm like scrunching these two fingers

my ring finger and my little finger have to do kind of a scrunchy thing at the bottom to really wrap my hand around yeah that's the same one yeah we got the wireless pad no i just have the wired one oh yeah i also that wire and plugs right from the computer if i don't want to use my mouse anymore yeah it's i want to look there too but i i just take that out i hope hope this doesn't pull out. No, mine is just the wired kind. That would be so upsetting if this came out of my mouse right now. I feel like it's not, and you just don't know.

When you buy the mouse pad, you replace the weight in the bottom with the battery. Do you have this circle in the bottom? No. No, I don't. No, no. This is an older mouse. This is a wired mouse. I prefer a wired mouse.

I don't want to lose my mouse. Oh, never mind. Now it's attached. I thought you were going to talk about the delay, which is like, I guess, a real 2012 complaint that's been solved many times. But yeah, I feel like the wire and its differing levels of resistance

as I try to pull the mouse around messes with my aim. But the wireless is free-flowing, and I can aim better. Mine's loosely hanging off the back of my desk here, so it doesn't pull at all. It never compresses when you ask it to bend more. Or sometimes when I pull it towards me, it has to drag over the corner, the back edge of the desk. Did you leave the weights in your mouse?

It's been replaced with a rechargeable battery. It's probably pretty heavy, too. I only ask because my mouse is very heavy, so I enjoy any. I wouldn't want it having to jerk it to get some slack or anything, but I don't notice any resistance, really. I don't either. I'm so bad at keeping things charged. It would be frustrating if I ever wanted to I guess you just plug the charging cable in

and that works. Or in my case, so I know you like a gigantic mouse pad that is basically your whole desk. It literally is. But I have a oversized mouse pad that is the recharging wireless recharger. I haven't thought about

mouse charging in like four years it just lives on the mouse pad and charges it this gaming mouse and you you just don't game anymore like really at all well now you're just saying hurtful things that's okay what do you you've just moved on to a different period in your life where we're train conductory motorcling, being the dark wing of the night. And the fish. And being a reef keeper. He doesn't have time to learn that.

Jackie and I rode the motorcycle to a fish store today and bought snails and then rode home. They had quite an experience riding home. Yeah, they did. They sat in the top case on the car. I just imagine them with little helmets on, sitting on the seat behind.

She's riding bitch, and then the slugs are riding bitch behind her, like hanging on to her a little bit too. Do you guys... I have... Do we have the same keyboard, right? Corsair something or other?

I've got a Logitech Huntsman. It's just a cheap ass. I just really don't care when it comes to that stuff. If it feels good, I'm okay. But I know that I could break this keyboard over my knee right now and I wouldn't break a sweat. Have you had it for a long time? A year and a half, two years.

When I bought the last PC, the big red over here that's 2080 ti or whatever it is what do you use that for now um it takes up a bunch of space on my desk here and i also sometimes i use it to charge my phone full desktop this is plugged into a $3,000 computer that I used to charge my phone and vape cartridges what I should if I stream it'll be a dual streaming

setup and if I wanted if I had a loved one who wanted to get into PC gaming with them we could make a little LAN center here that's the idea and if i wanted to do any sort of video making look at that there's a whole nother very powerful pc i thought about the land thing too because like my old pc isn't like nice like but it has a 2060 super so it can still like play most shit and so like like that could play warhammer not in the

same quality of this but like talk about like growing up. I want to talk about growing up to be a goddamn champion, how people train their children to be fucking winners. I love it when I see it. And I hate when people give, give people two shits about it. Like, like they wouldn't do the same thing if their kid had,

had any talent, you know, shroud grew up with a land center in his basement. That's not surprising. His dad was also into gaming and built his son a LAN center downstairs where all the neighborhood kids could come

over and have fucking tournament gaming in the basement. Of course he grew up to be Shroud. What else was he gonna be? You know what I mean? He didn't really have anywhere else to go. Is he still killing it as a streamer? Is he as big as he ever was?

Yeah, he's real big. Congrats, Rouse. He's not a personality streamer. He's like a talent streamer of gaming. I'm not saying that as an insult. I'm saying those people tend to last longer, it seems, where it's like, who are you going to watch? Well, I'm going to watch this guy who is also slaughtering people in this game and then when this game comes out he'll slaughter them in that i hear what you're saying but i i think that

people like him too you know i've never watched you might start by like you might get addicted to him by watching the montages and the you know the great moments but after a while it's like this point say it again i like his personality more at this point i saw this little clip the other day and it was like shroud makes so much money he doesn't know how much things cost anymore and it was like like multiple little clips of him and like i can't remember what he held up he's like yeah there's only like 30 of these they're eight grand a piece i a piece. I think I have four. I think I have five. Oh yeah, that one too.

Just really no concept of the value of money anymore because he's getting... Those guys make tremendous amounts of money when you're getting paid to play the game and then paid to play... He gets paid to play the game twice, right? They're like, will you please play our game? We'll give you this large sum of cash money and then

the audience obviously continues to pay him to play our game. We'll give you this large sum of cash money. And then people, the audience obviously continues to pay him to play the game as well. I used to think that was bad. Like, Shroud's endorsement matters to me. I'm very influenced by influencers. Like, I'm that guy.

And, uh, but if it's like a paid, if he's only playing this game and he's kind of pretending to like it because he's getting paid to i don't know i think the pretending to like it thing would be the the difference uh i like that those guys i mean i watched i still watch a bunch of jack frags or and uh he get he's playing whatever's hot. He's like, oh, this week I'm getting an early shot at Darktide. I didn't mind that he was playing the game that I love and know so much about as sort of a gun for hire

in the video making field because he showed it plenty of love. He played it for a couple of days. He was right in his review, accurate in his review, and then he moved on to the next game. And I always watch him. Is that the one that's like that dark soul dark tide is the one that you were gonna play but you didn't the one where we smashed the rat it's the sequel to vermin oh i did i played a couple rounds you did play that my computer broke and then yeah that's right yeah explain i think you had me right there i was there leveling up my character

so that i could be an asset to the squad and then i went like took me weeks to get that computer fixed yeah uh i'm i'm waiting on them to update that game to go back to it but i think there's a mod now that you can use to have a scoreboard so i might play it at some point but we're really into these rts's i think i know the next game I'm going to expose Taylor to. I'm like his drug dealer. Tell me, but don't tell him. We started out with a little MDMA. That'll light, that'll relax and make him feel like he's loved. We're about to slide into some hard drugs. Company of

Heroes 3. Company of Heroes 3. We're going to rust, but we've got to go into guns slowly with an RTS, a top-down World War II RTS. We're moving our troops around he and i used to play a bunch of company of heroes 2 and the third one came out this year or late last year and it's very nice next gen graphics so i think i'll go to that next although he does like the fantasy side yeah it's much more played than the game we play right now on the multiplayer level

yeah it's not that the game we play right now is a bad game or an unpopular game it's just that the single player side of it is where people seem to gravitate uh much more so than the multiplayer although there is a scene there for that too with youtubers and cash prize tournaments and that sort of thing have you been riding your bike much whenever the weather's good i probably ride at least once a week um i think last Tuesday I went out when it was really nice because I think I rode the day we did PKN. I remember that thing. Last night, my friends, like, it wasn't last night. It was like 4 p.m.

And they're like, hey, Woody, we're riding. You want to come? And a couple times they've invited me, but they do it like Facebook Messenger. And I see it six hours later and i'm like oh man please invite me next time i didn't see this until just now i was doing whatever i saw it it was like 30 minutes so i did it i jumped it i hopped on my bike i raced over there and we went riding and i thought it was going to be spirited riding on the street it wasn't uh they went straight to the dirt and it got rough like

two foot deep mud that people were they were stuck in uh my friends were like falling and getting their bike stuck where we're like grabbing it and trying to pull them out of the out of the mud and it's it was long dark it was like 9 30m. or something like that. And we're deep in the woods and we're lost. I can smell the steam on your exhaust. Right? But it was a blast. After it was finished and it was kind of successful, I was really glad I went out last night and I rode again today.

No, I've been pretty sick this week. I don't know what the deal is exactly. Symptoms? I think it's probably a combination of things uh it's nasal congestion and it is absurd i take cialis every day and that it's it's as much for blood pressure as anything but it always makes my nose really stuffy and jesus it's i think it's a combination of pollen and i had to change the air filter in the house and maybe something else. But I've got this compressed can of saline and I tilt my head to the side and I put it in my top nostril and I blast high pressure saline in my top nostril and it shoots out my bottom nostril.

And then I lean the other way, put it in my left nostril and I blast saline out my right nostril. Then I lean the other way, put it in my left nostril, and I blast saline out my right nostril. Then immediately, I blow it all out. It's huge amounts of saline. It's disgusting. Then I use a nasal spray that's meant to stop the fucking mucus. Then

still, I'm just blowing my nose all goddamn day. Right now, it's the first time i haven't had symptoms and yeah i would love it this is what i do so i i have allergies and you live in georgia and i bet that's that's what this sounds like and this is the new cool kid anti-allergy med uh the fda just made it over the counter like in the last couple of years and compared to the other over-the-counter anti-allergy things it makes you a little less exhausted okay i usually take claritin okay well if that works

for you cool but this is like okay well maybe you could try this well it's not helping this anyway again i don't know that this is necessarily allergies because i haven't had allergies in the past i'm a little worried that it was that air filter because that thing was filthy. Yeah, I fixed that. It's been hard to sleep. It's hard to get both of my nostrils to work well enough that I'm not just panting through my mouth most of the day. Literally tonight is the first time in a week

that it hasn't been bothering me. The BPAP is amazing. I'll have a stuffy nose all day, right? And I'm like, how am I going to even sleep tonight? Because I need to breathe through my nose with this BPAP thing. You know when you do the pressurized nose thing and then for a moment your nose works? Sure. That's all night on a BPAP machine.

It's just like open up and then you can breathe. Can you sleep on your stomach? No. Definitely not my stomach. On my side side a little other people have different like if you have the mig fighter thing that covers your nose and mouth or just nose then uh you can sleep on your side well mine has a strap that goes here so if you sleep on your side you close half your airway and it's not as good you asked about sleeping

on your stomach do you ever sleep on your stomach taylor no ever sleep on your stomach, Taylor? No, I sleep on my side. Yeah, that's a real bitch move. I was thinking about sleeping on my back. You said you slept on your stomach? You're off the show. I'm off the show. I mean, I would just leave. I sleep on my side with my ass out. You're back on.

And winking. since i got the bpap i literally sleep like a vampire like not at first like at first i'm usually cuddling jackie in some way and then this and i sleep like this ankles together just like like like a vampire see that i it to protect yourself from the dog attacking you or you always slept like a corpse? No, it started with the CPAP thing. I guess I could sleep like a soldier I guess. The chair stops my arms.

But I tend to just do this or maybe I grab a wrist. No part of you wants to like, or I guess the kind that you need, they don't even have a side sleeping option. They have a side sleeping option. I view them as less attractive, and I'm

trying to look good for my wife while asleep in the dark. Turn that light out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it took me years. Honey, there's so many lights on that fucking pressure mask you're wearing. You got art. What if it had lights on it? Like a PC.

Like those useless sci-fi lights. Just all over it. There is an exhaust. Where the hell is your exhaust? Like under your nose. And then there's another one here, like the top of your head. And if I am positioned wrong, the one on the top of the head can like touch a pillow or the headrest.

That's what it's called, right? The headboard. Anyway, so it goes all night long because it's like a little bit obstructed. I hate that. I have to move immediately. And it's like, did anyone else here? Does anyone else know that I have a BPAP on? It's a secret I'm keeping for the last

decade do you wake up if you roll onto your side do you wake up like no no i could probably sleep on my side i probably have but it's i always sleep on my side i usually have a pillow and like sort of one of the really yeah yeah i thought back sleeping was the best straight on my back and it's best for your back too like the side is a curvy spine i'm gonna i think the spine is naturally curved going back sideways ancestors it's true

i sleep as my ancestors did curled into a little coil curled into a coil in the woods on wet leaves sleeping on your side is the most in my burrow in my burrow when i hunt with my younglings for rodents sleeping on the side is the most common sleep position 54 of adults sleep on their sides its popularity might be because of inflexibility in of the spine as we age that part i think it's just inflexibility of the spine as we age. That part.

They're making it sound like because as people get older they're no longer able to lay down flat so they're just like a teeter-totter on their curved spine so they end up rolling over like a sea. What's the healthiest sleep position? Whatever gets you the most sleep i bet like upside down

being held by your feet like tom cruise in your bariatric chamber no it's a cider back uh nobody wins definitely well stomach loses then so we know that yeah i i definitely like to curl up into a little protective ball in case i'm attacked in my sleep. My dogs will absolutely attack me while I'm asleep. They'll jump and like pounce with their feet on my chest, my balls, my stomach, my face. Like they'll just jump on me out of nowhere.

So I'm, I'm sort of protectively curled up and protecting myself most of the time. So then I'm surprised he sleeps between Jackie and I and puts his head on my chest. It is very clear. I'm his favorite. Like it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, and puts his head on my chest it is very clear i'm his favorite like it and like she tries to say she's enderman's favorite and she's like you love me more don't you and like a hundred percent of the time he's like no he'll come over to me instead they'll like leave her mid-sentence and

love and affection from me i i gave Toby a haircut. I shaved him down. And his ears were matted. So I had to shave him all the way down with no guard. And so now his ears that used to be covered with thick fur are just naked. And I'll massage his ears in my hand. And he just goes, oh, that's the good stuff. It's like you can tell every time you do it, or if you use your nails to like scritch his ears,

he's just like, Oh yeah. Wow. It's his favorite thing. He loves it so much. Anderman loves it when you scratch behind his ear, but it's a problem. It's like,

first of all, he's tall, but he leans over and puts his arm head just a little too low for it to be a comfortable ear scratching and it's heavy and he's leaning into it so it's like having a 45 or something doing bicep curls just like scratching his ear as this dog pushes down against your arm and after a few seconds of it it's like boy like if you'd cooperate a little more i'd i'd do this longer but as it is we're done he doesn't that's such an enormous fucking dog you have yeah he's pony sized this

guy uh that i've got after i got him shaved down he's much lengthier than i thought but he's very tall and uh and just he's just a goofball yeah yeah yeah i've been having i love that dog this is my i think this might be my favorite dog I've had. He's great. He's got a really good personality, and he's just really loving. Don't let Rocky hear that, though. Well, Rocky's great, too. Rocky's got a lot of personality, but he's also pretty old. So he likes to lay there a lot and do a lot of sleeping, which I can get down with. I'm a big fan of those things myself.

He naps with you a lot. Everybody naps with me. I took my sectional couch the other day and made it into a mega couch where I just, instead of an L, I turned it in on itself and just put them together. Oh, we used to do that. And then I just threw blankets and pillows and everything all over it, and then the dogs and I get onto mega couch, all five of us, and they're just all over me. And then the mailman I get onto mega couch, all five of us. And they're just all over me.

And then the mailman, son of a bitch, he'll show up outside. And then everybody just jumps up. Scratching you on the way out. Like tearing me apart. A mailman who's on the other side of a wall. And I was asleep. And one of them kicked me in the dick and the other scratched my eyeball and why why oh my amazon package is here thank you thank you toby

for alerting me what if there's a bone and and i just just fucking awful and then here's last night last night dead asleep um i'm asleep downstairs on the couch, passed out watching Turin play fucking video games. At about 3, 4 a.m., I hear bleh! Oh no. This dog is just

vomiting on the hardwood right next to where I'm sleeping. I can hear it hit the floor. There is so much vomit and and i it's pretty dark so i take my flat my phone's like oh you just need to glance at the vomit to see how much it is she has thrown up her entire like dinner it's it's more it's... How did you even eat that much? Got that all cleaned up

and it's hard to get back to sleep. Watch five more minutes, ten more minutes of YouTube. Fall back to sleep. 5 a.m. The other one vomits. Maybe the food's off. Yeah, we're going to go to some new food now

because the kind of half isn't expensive enough no i'm just gonna i'm just gonna start cooking them people food it'd be cheaper than some of the dog food i end up with you should if you just threw like chicken and just made them like or like ground beef or some i don't think they can just eat that though they need like grains and veggies they're they're omnivores i think so they're supposed to get they definitely can't be on a carnivore diet like wolves can. Wolves, that's the thing about having a wolf dog. I believe they're on a 100% raw meat diet.

A raw meat diet. A pain in the ass, that would be. Yeah. It's a real luxury pet. Yeah. I don't think people impulse buy wolves unless they're the kind of person who like is so wealthy that like they impulse buy all sorts of things. They don't, they don't just buy impulse buy wolves. They impulse buy boats and cars and shit.

People like Mike Tyson. He bought tigers. That was exactly what I was thinking of with the, with the, with the tigers. Which is a cool thing to own. It is cool to own a tiger. It's pretty, where did he, where'd he keep it? In his house. It is cool to own a tiger. It's pretty... Where did he keep it? At his house, like there on the grounds.

He was talking about the difference between lions and tigers. It's fascinating. It's one of the... These days, he's often a little druggie, so it's kind of hard to get interesting things out of him. You get funny things, but I like retrospective Mike Tyson, who's got all of his wits about him. And he said, lions, they live in a pack.

So they join your pack. And as long as you're the boss and they know you're the boss, they'll stay in line and they'll look after the other members of the pack. Tiger. They have one on one relationships. Me and him are good. Y'all don't want to fuck with him, though. Stay away from him. Don't look at my tiger don't look at him did tyson think that he had like a defense against the tiger i mean he's the toughest guy in the world maybe i mean at the time he was beating

the shit out of everyone he could could be that stupid. One time, uh, like, what did he say? I can't remember. I, he may have thought he could beat up his tiger. He might've thought that,

but of course he can't because he, it's a tiger or he was just talking big for promotion stuff. You'd have to be a real dumb. I never saw Mike lie too much. He didn't have to, you know, he's already such a big, scary,

like his resume was there. He didn't have to. He's already such a big, scary... His resume was there. He didn't need to make up some shit for you to be afraid of Mike Tyson. His appearance and demeanor and background and just what he did in the ring were all terrifying. That gap in his teeth was so scary to me.

Everything about him was scary. The towel. The towel's scary to me. Everyone else is coming out in these extravagant outfits right these like uh silk robes and silk shorts and like they're i don't know they wear crowns nowadays when you watch a heavyweight fight like tyson fury and the other guy they're wearing 10 foot tall cosplay costumes with stilts that weigh 30 pounds. Or one guy's on a throne, like a big velvet throne getting carried by people. Tyson would like cut a hole in a towel,

throw it over his shoulders and walk out there. And it was just like minimalist in a scary way. Like I'm about, I ain't going to be here long to look at. He was like, you know, the Stallone that trained in the woods or something like like i don't need a fucking crown or a silk robe to be a badass

i don't think he did i don't know i i so i used to think he did now i'm like oh this is a guy who could get sex without that. So a lot of times people who rape either can't get laid or they hate women. And I don't think either of those describes Tyson. I don't either. I don't either. I don't think he's some or it's often someone who wants to do that violence to a woman who wants to control a woman or hurt her in some way. And I don't think that of

him either even that version of him and i've heard him speak on that and like talk about what a despicable thing they call him and how that'll be on my name forever that'd be on my name forever that despicable thing that treacherous whore said about me like or whatever he said he's he's a little he could become a he could become rather verbose at times it's fun listening his one-man show taylor tell me you've seen mike tyson's one-man show i didn't know he had a one-man show okay so that's how he resumed his career no it's it was the first step to becoming modern mike because this all right so there was hangover mike there was tattooed mike and that and and there was luke mike the loser that's who he was in the early 2000s.

He had lost every time he tried. He was on drugs. We didn't even know. He was ruined, we thought, financially, physically, emotionally, all that stuff. And he comes out with this one-man show that's on HBO, I think. It was after the Hangover stuff. But he is in a suit, and he is telling his life story and i in one of those he reminds he's got like the mic on on a headset kind of thing and he's doing it's a performance

and he's good it's so good it it really brought him back to allow him to become the modern mike tyson that he is i mean i need to watch this thing like's funny. The one-man show, and everything Kyle said is fantastic. I think that might be on... Is it Undisputed Truth? Is that what it's called, or is that something different? No, that's what it is. That exists. Okay, yeah, yeah. Oh, maybe that's a different thing.

No, I remember it. I just don't remember if that's Mike's thing. Mike Tyson, Undisputed Truth of 2013. Does that sound right? 10 years ago, or is that his second one? No if that's Mike's thing. Mike Tyson, Undisputed Truth of 2013. Does that sound right? 10 years ago? Or is that his second one? No, that's about... Well, I don't know if he did a second one,

but that suit looks familiar. I remember a light lavender or white suit that he was wearing. And I remember him being very sweaty and often toweling the sweat off his face as he delivered this really funny, self-deprecating life history story that hit all the high points and told great. It was very funny and very emotional.

It's great. Okay. I think Undisputed Truth is a one-man show, but the title of the show is Undisputed Truth, and it's on HBO, and I agree with Kyle. It is fantastic. I didn't know Tyson had storytelling like that in him. You can tell he had some

production help and maybe some expert storytellers coached him up and then he does it all by himself on a stage just killing it. And it's not like it's funny, but it's not like he's trying to be a comedian. He's just lived a fantastically interesting life.

And he lays it out there. Undisputed truth is fantastic. Yeah, he's one of those guys who can be funny without trying to be funny. And at times, that can often be scary. I've seen one of his older Joe Rogan interviews where Mike says something. I don't remember the exact situation. But he says something, Rogan was like, that's pretty good stuff. And Mike's like,

no, it's very serious. Very serious thing. Very serious thing. He sure is. I don't know. I think Joe had spoken about it. He's like, he's like a fucking gorilla. And you just know.

He can kill you. Can Joe Rogan beat Mike Tyson? Not even close. I'm a thousand times sure. He's not that much older than Joe Rogan, right? They're both in their 50s, I think. Something like that, yeah. I see what you're saying. Maybe Joe Rogan's jiu-jitsu is going to help him

or something, but I just think Mike Tyson is a ferocious individual in a room when he's mad at you. You know what I mean? We're not going to go out and step in I mean? We're not going to go out and step in a ring. We're not going to stretch out. He's coming across that table, Joe Rogan. At first, you're not going to know if he's serious. Then you will know he's serious. It's too late.

If they take away striking and they start on their knees, right? Undeniably, Joe Rogan's better if he gets you on a mat. Can he force that situation? Does Rogan have the takedowns to handle that striking? That's not how it's going to go down anyway. He's going to come

across that table, Joe Rogan. He's going to put hands on you. And at first, Joe wouldn't know if it was for real or not. It was a little joke, a little bit. Maybe Mike's being silly. And then by the time he did know, it's way too late. Way too late for jiu-jitsu. It's almost too late for a handgun.

If you had the handgun pointed at him, maybe. Once he starts wailing on you, on the floor, we're not in a ring anymore. We're in Joe Rogan's studio. You upset him, Joe Rogan. You're in trouble now.

I think Mike kills him if he wants. Jamie, too. I've never seen Jamie. Who knows? He could be seven foot two. I've seen him. he wants. Jamie, too. I've never seen Jamie. Who knows? He could be seven foot two. I've seen him. He's not beating up Mike. Oh, okay. Yeah, who is? No one's beating up Mike, except for a younger

boxer. You could take him. Yeah, I'm not afraid of Mike. I can smell bitching his blood from a mile away. I've heard you say that many times. I dare Mike Tyson to allow me to make a lot of money being deep. He's going to back down just like Diego did. Like they always do. These big boxer

types. How about a triple dog dare? Now he can't. He can't when he's been triple dog dared to fight you. It's like that scene from Josie Wales. It's actually Uncle Leo from Seinfeld. At an earlier point in his career, he's squaring off with Clint Eastwood's Josie Wales.

He's like, I always wanted to face off with one of these big gunfighter types. And his buddy's like, he's probably got another pistol. Shut up, Marv. And of course, Clint Eastwood does have another pistol. It's a whole thing. Yeah, I... I could definitely destroy Mike Tyson. I just don't have any fear.

You just don't want to. You're busy. I don't want to hurt him because I respect him and his career. I wouldn't want to diminish him anymore. I wouldn't want to do that. This is exactly how Chael Sonnen talks about Mike, but Chael actually wants the fight.

You think? I know. I know. I know. Well, Chael could take him. Isn't he like in his 30s? Chael wants to make some more money. No, Chael's like 50 or going on 50.

Let's call Chael 44, 45. But he's a martial artist, and he'd love to. 46. You're close. He wouldn't get beaten up by Mike Tyson. He wouldn't get put in the hospital or anything. That's not what would happen. He'd get in there, he'd mix it up like he always does,

and he'd get a big paycheck. So whenever Mike comes up, he'll throw some shit on him and hope that Mike... But in a kind of a heel kind of way. Can Chael beat him in MMA, though? Yeah, I think he does. Yeah, of course. Tyson only ever did boxing.

Chael probably beats him in boxing at this point. But Tyson's old, man. Tyson's old. Yeah, he is. He's 10 years older than the other guy. He's 56. I remember Tyson's original comeback fight. It was like 2004, 2005.

And he was fighting this guy that I don't think I'd ever heard of. And he got smoked then. And I remember, man, that was so long ago. That was like 20 years ago. That was his comeback fight. 15, realistically, probably. Maybe 20, though. Yeah, maybe 20 fucking years ago he had a comeback fight that he failed at.

He's not a real, you know, maybe I think a lot of Chael Sonnen, too. So I don't know. I like to imagine Chael Sonnen beating up Mike Tyson. Chael Sonnen seems like the funniest person in the UFC world. Dude, you don't even know. Chael Sonnen is this close to being the champion of the world twice. This close. He's a renaissance man then.

Ultimate fighter, ultimate entertainer, commentator. Seems like he can do it all, right? Trash talker. That seems to be a core competency of his. Yeah, I think he's a promoter first. I would say that Chael Sonnen, he wouldn't like that, though. He would want to think of himself as a martial artist first and foremost, I bet. But I think he's a promoter first and foremost and a martial artist after that.

If he hadn't promoted himself, he would have never risen to the heights that he went to on talent alone. He promoted what he was and got that and main events for belts somehow. Is Masvidal fighting this weekend? I think he's fighting really soon. Against Gilbert Burns? I think he's a dog to Burns. Yeah.

Dude, when's the last time he won a fight? 2019? Well, he smoked Colby in that street assault last year okay that time he sneaked up on colby from behind and hit him when he was on the streets of my name not sporting at all no it wasn't that's like that's that's sort of like quick starting a game of total war yeah yeah that's not like yeah or bringing multiple regiments of renown equally like that same same scenario no The big fight this weekend is Israel Adesanya trying to get his belt back from Alex Pereira.

Fourth time's a try. That South American savage. Izzy showed up wearing a slave collar to the fucking pose off. I'm calling it a slave collar because I can. Still. I think there's a clip of it here. Someone linked it here.

It looked to me like a real fancy dog collar. It had like a cantilever sort of latch that sort of when you flick the latch over it all sort of gets tighter like those fancy dogs. That's what he's wearing with the face off. Meanwhile, homeboy's wearing like a plum suit. It looks like he got from Goodwill. Man, those guys are anywho. What is with all these costumes everyone's okay yeah uh i think easy gets smoked again this weekend though uh i don't that dude's beating him three times in a row i don't see him beating him you know not doing

he'll do it a fourth five bucks i'll take izzy take izzy yeah i guess so although i izzy was winning the first round of that first fight if that first round was 10 seconds longer izzy takes him out in the first round so we'll see it'll be fun i don't like israel out of sonja but i don't like this guy even more because he's just a i'm i don't know some kind of south american uh tribesman who barely speaks anything. So do we have a bet or no? Either way. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I'll take I'll take big, tall, whatever.

Pereira or something. It's not spelled like they want to say it. One of the problems with names that I'm sure affects you is that Chael Sonnen does a thing that i like to do that i've always done and that's do say things incorrectly because people in the comments will want to correct you and it drives up uh participation okay maybe like ah no i'm pretty sure that uh georgia that that georgia was the first colony yeah that was the first one settled no No, trust me, it is. And then there's like 800 extra comments down there. And he makes a point to incorrectly pronounce people's names.

You know what else he did? He would make a point of capitalizing with no rhyme or reason in his tweets. And he just like... People would be like, I'm going to fight Jon Jones this weekend.

Why is weekend capitalized? Why did you do that in all caps? Did you hear what he made for that fight? No. I think he said $8 million to fight Jon Jones. That's what he made, what he took home. I wonder if it's true. I don't think he'd lie.

What? I don't think he'd lie about that part of the business because someone could be like no he didn't here look you know i feel like someone could do that to him i i don't know he said he made eight million dollars i i'm in a position to believe him i saw his house it's very nice is it an eight million dollar nice house well i doubt he didn't blow the whole check on the house you know it's interesting and again you never you never know if what jail lies all the time. Everything he says is a lie. Probably.

Maybe. Not everything. It's hard. He lies so much. It is difficult to grab the kernels of truth that might be in there. And I lost. We were talking about fighter pay. Jail lies a lot.

Yeah. I don't watch his shit. He's an entertainer, right? I lost where I was headed on that. I never know what to make of his stories and what's true and what's not true. The thing he said where Jon Jones broke his

record about most drugs found in a drug test. He didn't mean that literally though i think i think sometimes you might have a hard time telling when he's like joking and when he's not because he he does it with a straight face everything is delivered the same way he said it so many times yeah but he doesn't mean literally it's it's kind of that's what lying is well i could see that being like he also said that he fed he saw the nagara brothers pet feeding a bus a carrot but that was outrageous

that was outrageous you weren't supposed to believe it and but uh you know whatever john i made eight million dollars in this fight you're like I don't know if that's true or not. Shit. I don't know. Half the stuff he says is untrue and I don't know where the truth comes in and where it doesn't. The big news for the UFC is that they and the WWE are now under Endeavor's big old comfy umbrella. They're owned by the same

parent company and that is going to allow all sorts of intermixing. It's going to allow all sorts of intermixing. It's going to be fun. I love that that has happened. I hope that we do see some intermixing. I hope that it means that people like Brock Lesnar can't do that thing that he would always do when it's contract time

and mess with the fucking rankings and stuff and mess with the schedule. But that aside, I like some wwe pizzazz thrown on my real sports where they actually get in there and do it because how do you feel about freak fights don't go too far i don't want to see anybody who's not medically fit to be in there who's not competent what if he's a youtuber what if um who's the i don't want to see him on the show a couple times he's a he's a legit sort of mma guy he was in youtube boxing and he's a purple belt years ago his purple belt is probably better but that now overt flow that's

what i'm going for okay what if he and he's a black belt. Jesus. So he's a BJJ black belt now. He challenged me to roll with him. He's bigger, stronger, and more talented. What am I supposed to do with you? Yeah, get out of here. No, I want my freak fights to be compelling. That's what the UFC does. They put on fun fights.

So I don't want to see some no-name guy. No offense to overt flow, but you can't sell pay-per-views that Overt Flow... Logan Paul. He's a good wrestler. That's a whole different fucking thing. Logan Paul is its own thing. He's a Mount Rushmore

of modern fighting and promotion kind of guy. Did you want to see him in the UFC, even though he's not as good as any of the UFC fighters? No what about um that wrestling champ I can't do his I don't know who's in the UFC and like no pro wrestling he was uh oh you know I don't see anybody from pro wrestling really I thought you just said you did you want to see Brock Lesnar yeah I never liked Brock coming over I I didn't enjoy that um I remember when I can't remember who it was that he wrestle fucked and then like mangled their face

while oh I didn't like how he fucked up Mark Hunt on you know like I didn't like any of that like you had some legitimate heavyweights that were as close to clean as modern athletes get and then you had that big gorilla come over you knew he he failed his test, and you let him give people brain damage. I never liked that stuff. A freak fight to me is... Sometimes you do. If he's Jon Jones. His opponents know what they're getting

into. They know Jon's on fucking drugs. As opposed to Brock Lesnar's opponents? Well, alright. Comparing the two is definitely potatoes and apples or something, right? Brock Lesnar is just freely injecting anabolics and getting enormous and huge to a crazy proportion. Jon Jones has never looked like some big anabolic monster. He's just been, to me, he's just a little bit stronger and quicker maybe than the average man.

Than the average fighter. the average fight he never like overpowered anybody you know he's not stronger necessarily he's just better chael sonnen talks about when he fought him and chael's like i'm juiced juiced to the gills i'm taking all these steroids and i'm like i'm gonna go in there and I'm going to beat John Jones. And then he put his hands on me. And I was like, oh, I know your secret. You're juice, too. He lost that fight badly. Yeah.

I yeah. Freak fight to me would it would interest me to see a lady fight a man. That would interest me. And but but I almost don't want that to happen in my precious ufc octagon i want there to almost be a separate class like a minor leagues where they do the freak fights you know what i want they don't step on our mat and how do you how do you pronounce your girl's name you like her a lot i think she just lost her title. Valentina Shevchenko. Thank you. What if she's getting ready to do her walkout and her opponent backs down, gets injured for whatever reason, isn't fighting? Yeah.

I would love it if they're like, anyone here want to fight? Who in this audience thinks they can take on the assassin? The bullet? What's her name? The bullet. The bullet. And for some like dad who lifts weights to be like you know i think i could take her and see what happens well you know there's

commissions and drug tests and and weigh-ins and getting the bout certified and of course i don't think male on female combat is legal anywhere and um but all that aside i like the silly idea of something like that happening. And I would love to see it in a movie film. But I think the man-on-woman fight would need to be like... Man, Chris Cyborg's the perfect one to throw against a little dude. Have Chris Cyborg fight a small man. Or have...

Who's that woman who fights in Japan? Her name's Gabby Garcia. Zach, show us a photo of Gabby Garcia giving us a double bicep. People you're picturing are men. Yeah, exactly. Well, they're going to fight a man. Have Gabby Garcia, a woman with a vagina

who's been using a lot of testosterone, have her fight... Have her fight a man like Woody a man since and that I would watch Jesus Christ by the way she's taller than you yeah dude old picture

she was hot she was a hot pretty I remember her being like an Instagram hottie way back in the day. I don't know if I can find a picture. I might be exaggerating, but she was something else. She was hot.

Yeah, her voice is fucking Easter Island headed bitch. She's enormous. I have never seen a woman in my life with fucking triceps like that bitch has they are insanity mode it's gotta be like

an amount of tea that you could slosh in a cup it's less than what I take I bet I bet it's less than what I take she's a woman I promise you I bet she's taking less than what I take I bet she's not taking like

tremendously more yeah it's fucking testosterone it tells your body to make fucking muscles it's not like fuel that we need like an ounce of a day or something are they allowed to uh in this japanese league like they don't give a shit like juice yourself up like that's pretty yeah pretty pretty obviously yeah they don't care She fights in a number of promotions, I think, but it's usually some silly stuff. I've seen her beat people unconscious. Exhibition matches? No.

They're fights. She might do some exhibition matches. They all do over there in Japan. It seems like it's always this mixture of WWE and professional wrestling where it sort of walks a line and occasionally you will see a performer get beaten by an athlete so and you're like whoa whoa that guy's a performer and that guy's an athlete yeah we didn't tell him yeah oh no we told him it was a play like

there's a guy in there with a luchador mask doing that thing where they run at the ropes and bounce off of him and then the other guys on his toes, fucking stretching out and fucking. That's a shitty situation to put you in where the luchador guy's like, come on, play ball, like trip me or something. You just get punched in the face. You may have seen my favorite fight from over there of all time.

And they have a Japanese granny who was probably like tough. She's probably like famous on Japanese social media. I like 80 likes or something. She's like famous on japanese social media they like 80 likes or something she's like a 75 year old grandma who like boxes and they threw her in there against a good female boxer and she just smokes her holds nothing back holds nothing back like no no not gonna fuck out it's so it's's so brutal they like drag her out of there her frail and broken body it's one of those things where the ref is like no we're done here like like fuck

she's laying on the ground oh my god yeah this woman is that her i've only seen like the beating in the ring but if that's the Japanese granny that that woman beat up the other woman was like a lady athlete you know what I mean that brings great shame if that's the case oh you bring great shame

upon you look at that canon 5D there oh alright she looks spry I guess look at that cross-eyed bitch in the background she's not doing her hands right she got over special glasses this is hot gabby garcia zach's about to pull up this picture and uh i couldn't find i wanted regular hot like walk around hot this is obviously at the end of a very tough cut but she's beautiful and gorgeous and now she's kind of a monster yeah but she's a she wins way more fights now she does and she probably has more money from because that's her job uh i'd

suck that big clip what get down there get down did you fight her? I gag on it. God damn, lady. She's like, ma'am, ma'am, your clitoris. You like that, you little bitch? Let me throat fuck you with my clitoris. Let me throat fuck you with my fucking massive clit. Pull my newfound foreskin back and suck me. You fucking massive clit. Pull my

newfound foreskin back and suck me. You couldn't stop her. You can't stop me. You've got to fake it. But I want you to try. You've got to fake it on the streets. You've got to fake it on the streets. The ones that don't fake it,

they're the ones that get the worst. The ones that don't fake it, They're the ones that get the worst. The ones that don't fake it. They're the ones that get the worst. I've been watching It's Always Sunny. I watch the water park one. They go down the slide and Max got a... He's been... Instead of buying tickets, he's wearing the same goddamn bracelet from

childhood that he said laminated. So, of course, he gets hung in the slide and they're wedged in the slide now all day. That's a good episode it is a good episode i think a new season's coming out um sometime soon but i haven't uh i haven't seen i don't remember last season oh i want to talk about south park that's it this season of south park is good this is the best season of south park in a long time the last episode was a it was about hot dogs or something. That was a little lame, but the rest of them have been quite good.

And I think in the last one, the boys got into Warhammer 40K, coincidentally. And it's spring break, and Randy wants to hang out with Stan. He's like, come on, it's spring break. We do whatever we want. Your mom's gone. He's like, really? Can we do 40K? Hell yeah, we can do 40K. Like, oh, we can? All my friends come over really can we do 40k hell yeah we could do 40k like oh we can all my friends

come over we can do 40k yeah all weekend 40k like clearly has no idea what that means like we're gonna 40k the fuck out of this and then they set up the fucking table with the green styrofoam is this a new episode yeah yeah all right i'm gonna watch this one yeah they're like they're playing tabletop 40k and r Randy thinks they're just fucking losers and wants to get them drunk and some girls and stuff. Yeah. Have like 20 year old man spring break, even though he's 40 and they're eight or something.

It doesn't make a lot of sense, but yeah, they're all in the 40 K. So, so that was neat. After watching a video or two on YouTube of top-down video of people playing the 40K game, like, I 1 million percent can see how that would be a blast. But I would never, ever, ever want to own that stuff or do it.

But if I went to, like, a game store for, like, a Friday Night Magic or something, and I got, like, knocked out early or something. And they had one of those. Cause like the thing about game stores is like, it's similar to the gym in that, like the people there are so into their thing and they love sharing what they're into with other new people that like, if you get there and there's someone playing Warhammer 40 K and like you ask,

like, can you teach me how to like, can you like show me the ropes a little bit here? Almost a guarantee that person's going to be like, dude, 100%, here, let's play a quick game. That would be a blast. Every time you ask one of those guys how to get started, you're like, all right, I'm going to buy my starter army.

How much is it going to cost me? None of them have the social skills to answer that question correctly. They don't know how to do it because they're into warhammer 40k so none of them can say ah it's gonna be several hundred dollars and you'll be okay but a grand if you really want to have a great time they can't do that they can't boil it down like oh are you want to do you want to be the fucking the nerdlings of of doodoo aisles or do you want to be the fucking space marine to the sky? You want to be a blood dragon? Blood dragons or bone dragons?

They always have a speech impediment without fail. The guy who's going to explain it to you. What? There's nothing wrong with that. I end up feeling like a loser just by being associated with them. It doesn't make you feel like a king standing there where you're like, damn,

I'm into so many nerdy things already, man. Just let me have this one thing that I don't, I'm not saying that you have to get into it. I'm saying, let's say you and I were at a game store and there was a setup board and they were like, this is like the free to play thing. We're trying to get more people into 40 K.

Yeah. Of course you'd play. You know what I'd rather do is dungeons of dragons. That's, that's what you could tip me into much more easily because every now and then i'll catch uh some little short of some guys playing dungeon and dragons dungeons and dragons clearly they have a youtube channel devoted to that where everyone's sitting around a table and they're very good at it and uh i don't know i i find that. That is a game that's clearly good at Dungeons and Dragons being creative.

And if you're a dungeon master, it's being creative and explaining what's going on and enforcing the rules and interpreting things. World building. World building. Sure. But each of the characters, the guys who was playing, seemed to really know the ins and outs of the game and the things they could ask for. I don't remember the specifics. It was something, they were in a bar and one guy wanted a weapon,

but they couldn't have weapons in the bar. He's like, ah, I will have the largest bottle of alcohol you have, please. Empty! They're like, we can't do that. Are you refusing to serve me, wench? The whole thing like that and i was like yeah i can get into this like the idea of being silly enough to maybe find ways around

their their rules of i've played it before and have fun i don't know i didn't know any of the rules or anything the group i was playing with like like kind of handled all that i just had fun with like being a character and and joking around and doing that. And trying to... Because it's not a video game. If he's ahead of you, an innkeep speaking to a shady person

in a hood. You don't know much about him, but you know that's the innkeeper that the Goblin King referred to. What do you do to get past him? And then, like, instead, you can be like... Can I sneak down the alley and overhear the conversation? It's like, or you can say something like,

okay, we're in the Empire. Okay, and they care a lot about keeping the religion there. Okay. I sneak into an alley and yell out a blasphemous comment to draw away the guard and they'll be like all right roll initiative or roll whatever this and then you have to roll to try and escape from it or whatever and so like you you do it from from like unique angles that's terrible example because i'm not like no no i think it's a good example because your character will be better at sneaking or escaping based on who you're playing as.

I'm the drunken oaf, Taylor. Well, you fail to sneak because your sneak skill is a two and we roll. Yep, you fail. You're caught by the guards who imprison you for your drinking tab at the end, my drunken friend. All right. Let's see if you can roll to pick the lock. Your last lock pick is broken. Now you must prostitute yourself to Olaf the Barbarian.

Let's roll to see if he wants anal. It's fun. You have to be like, well, I don't want to sneak into it. Kyle's playing a bard character. He can probably do that, and he's very sneaky or something to that effect. I would totally play. I can see myself enjoying that, especially if there's any visual representation i'm sure we will all have game you get to do voices yeah i could do that i could i'd like to get voices too hell yeah dude

most of the things that i thought were lame as a kid turned out i think those people allow themselves to have that reputation so they can have their cool kids club that's what i choose to believe about about train conductors in their garage and dunson and dragons players those are the cool people amongst us those are the cool ones those are the guys who say i know what i like and i like what i like and you're gonna fuck off if you don't like it those guys the alpha the sigma male train folks that's right that's right conductors of the world unite i I love, I, I still, every once in a while,

we'll look up that video of the dude with the fisheye lens pointed at his own face who like freaks out at train passings. Have you guys seriously not seen this guy's channel? His name's like Lord something. Maybe he's, he's obsessed with trains. Zach, can you find a photo of this gentleman?

Just a still of him with the fisheye, please. It's not one time. No, this guy, I went to his instagram like a year two years ago are you buying it though are you sure he's not just like playing up his train fascination i'm sure it i he he absolutely loves trains because apparently he had been making those videos long before he was getting any traction but i mean he's got a fish eye lens pointed at his face right in the most ludicrous way possible that's hilarious and like this is absolutely a joke like francis bouge or maybe it's not a joke that's the thing it's so fucking funny

seeing his face like this because have you seen these clips kyle have you seen i have never seen whatever this is over like a stand there over a train track and he'll be like, he's British, and he'll be like with this camera, right? And he's like, here it comes. It's the Tyson 720. It's here. It's here. Try and get a honk. Honk. It's the Tyson 720.

I honked for him. And he's like freaking the fuck out at it with this face. Sometimes. I wish I could be there. He calls it like doing the tones. He's doing the tones. He's doing the tones. Oh, he's gonna do the tones like at it with this face and sometimes i wish he calls it like doing the tones he's doing the tones he's doing the tones oh he's gonna do the tolls like that you better believe i'm going to drive to the next train station and get him to do the tolls again and he just gets his car he starts like bucking it trying to race the train yeah i hope he's genuine taylor are there things you can't enjoy it's about as genuine as dude perfect by the time he gets to his 19th video.

I don't say that. I mean, that's obvious. Are there things that you don't take pleasure in anymore that you once did? Something that used to excite you to go do it, and now you're just like, eh, nah. It would be way back to like teenage years

but like I used to be excited when we'd like go to movies and stuff like friends like meeting up at the movies and everything it just doesn't happen anymore like nobody goes to like if I haven't even considered going to a movie in years you should put up you know you and your friends

have a group text do it what the problem is really it's not that I don't like movies anymore. It's that I'll think about going to a movie and then I'll check and be like, nothing right now, but maybe in seven months there's something I like. It doesn't have to be the best movie. There's a Dungeons and Dragons movie and

I've heard it's very good and I think I'm going to go see that. If that's showing near me, I might go see that in the next week or so. I'd be shocked if that were good really oh yeah it could be fun i actually did hear something good about that so i don't know we'll see yeah i just know the last one was a comedy i think with um john c reilly i didn't even know he they another D&D movie. Pretty sure. It's been a while, though. I remember hearing from people in church when I was a young kid that Dungeons & Dragons was very bad.

And there was never an explanation other than, like, I guess Dungeons & Dragons sounds scary. Demonic? I don't know. But the same thing that happened with Pokemon for a while. I remember hearing that. My parents didn't give a fuck about that. Like they,

they didn't care, but yeah, the, the amount of stuff that ended up just not mattering that you thought, like, I think the only, I think my mom gave me a hard time about X-Men once. Cause maybe there's a character called it's it's there's some of the

characters names are vaguely biblical. You know maybe there's a character called... Some of the characters' names are vaguely biblical. There's Apocalypse and Beast. And I just remember thinking, don't be a bitch. You're annoying enough already without trying to take my favorite fucking cartoon away.

Beast? Come on, get real. It's a pretty common word. There's a lot of beasts about. Beast was always an interesting character. I'm glad they had Kelsey Grammer play him. Have that sort of juxtaposition between the intellectual and, you know, the blue furry. What was the show that Kelsey Grammer was in?

Frasier. Frasier. Frasier. Is that worth watching? Nope. No. No, if you want to watch an old show, you want to watch The West Wing.

It is very good. West Wing is great. After Ghostbusters, West Wing. He'd never seen the movie Ghostbusters. I was referencing my dog's fur last night, and I was like, you know that guy who steals the baby in Ghostbusters 2? He's got that curly little... He's like, I've never seen Ghostbusters 1.

That's actually a form of child abuse. I hold your parents responsible. I've seen bits of it on TV. It's one of those movies, absolutely, that people have referenced and I've just laughed along because I'm like, it's too late to say that I've never seen Ghostbusters. Do you think it holds up, Ghostbusters? I do.

I think it's very funny. Everyone says it does. I bet it's wonderful. Yeah, there's no period. There's nothing in there that could be dated. The CGI is fine, I think, because it's meant to be a bit cartoonish. It's a very interesting kind of CGI. The Slimer and the Ghost look sort of fuzzy and electrical.

So you can kind of interpret that as just how ghosts look i feel like it's before people were good at acting with cgi like it was done at a time when everyone responded to visual stimuli and now they're just pretending to see a ghost but looking the wrong way or not give it a second try i watch this thing pretty regularly it's it's fine it's it's fun fine. It's not even about that. There's only like four scenes with ghosts. It's more about Bill Murray having a good time. He's just spitballing. They're all high on cocaine.

Him, Ackroyd, all of them. They're all on coke and they're having a good fucking time together making this movie up as they go. Dan Ackroyd's original script is so kooky off the wall nonsensical that you couldn't even make the movie he's a legitimate crazy if you've ever seen his joe rogan interview first of all he owns crystal skull he is this perfect mixture of famous crazy

and rich he's obviously dan akroyd if you don't know dan akroyd is you're never gonna know and but he also he owns Skull Vodka. That's his shit. Do you know why it's in that Crystal Skull? Because he thinks those fucking South Americans that elongated their skulls were worshiping aliens or something. And he's trying. It's all about that.

And he's on Rogan talking really fast the way Dan Aykroyd does. It's going off really, really quick. And he's talking about aliens and Illuminati and fucking ghosts and spirits and energies. Energies that power the world. What a fun guy to hang out with. He's just manic, just going off on this tear. And Roguewood's like, fuck, yeah, tell me more. Keep feeding me info, Dan.

What, are you going to shut Dan Aykroyd down? He had to rein him in a little bit. He wouldn't make any sense. I hate it when people start with a thought and don't finish it. I know I did that 10 minutes ago. But it's impossible to listen to Dan Ackroyd think or talk because he doesn't

follow. And Alex Jones has an ending. He just never gets there. If you were to force him to stay on topic, I think he'd do better. You don't understand, Joe. They have have a plan they're breaking their civilization they're breaking away from ours and just like who is true the intellectuals the scientists is like i have read how do you know this i've read what they've written and it's like if you read what they how how who it's like where did you read this joe you're you're not you're not listening to me Joe I have read these documents

you're referring to yeah where did you read these Joe Joe Joe please I have read them and it's like okay from where and it's like then it's on to something else and it's it's like if you're not listening to it like when

I listen to the Alex Jones interview with Joe Rogan, I don't give a fuck. I'm not like, oh man, I'm going to learn. I'm listening because it's funny. And because I want to hear when he starts being like, and the Nazis, believe it or not, the Argentina shit, that's true. But in addition to that, the Antarctica shit is true as well.

I don't think either of those are true. And then when he backfills it with his data or examples, I'm enjoying that the same way I enjoyed a video last night telling me history of the Skaven of Warhammer. Where like, I'm like, that's neat. That's interesting.

Like, but if you're sitting there like, what's his argument? Like, what's his point going to be? Then I can see why that would be aggravating because like, he just gonna he's he's not gonna get to it seriously i suppose um it's a shame he said that awful shit about those kids and got the had those families go through all that nonsense he did because before that he was a mostly harmless sort of guy that we could laugh along with and at all the time. But the Sandy Hook thing was just a couple bridges too far.

He really stuck to it too. You could think he maybe said it one time, but he didn't. He leaned into it. And as he's being sued, he continued to say it. He kept doing it. He kept convincing people. He kept drilling that argument again and again and again. And it's like, bro, you're guilty.

You're guilty of trying to profiteer off of these children's deaths. I heard Joe talking about him the other day because Joe's been friends with him for a really long time before they were both famous. And he said that Alex sustained a serious brain injury as a young man. And he sort of intimated that that's what all this is about. But I don't think anybody's ever going to give Cut Alex any slack after what he said about those kids. He just he went too far. Like Kanye come back for Alex can like you don't hear about either of them anymore. Well, I saw Kanye wearing this mask the other day.

Did you see the mask? Mm-mm. Zach, show me that mask Kanye was wearing. Kanye looks like. He was right about 21 Jump Street. It looks like a fucking supervillain. It is a good villain. I mean, it is a good movie.

That's also why I like the Jews. Yeah. It's a hilarious one. Channing Tatum really shows his comedy chops in that film. Well, he's white. Yes. He's a Gentile, I should say.

A Gentile of course. I shouldn't suggest that Jews aren't white. They don't care for that. That's Kanye's new mask? Hell yeah. Honestly? I didn't know that was Kanye. Honestly? I didn't know that was Kanye. Of course you didn't know that was Kanye. He looks like an orc that hasn't been painted yet. Yeah, he looks like a Warhammer figurine.

Is the person on the left also Kanye? But that's not his real face. Is he wearing a mask on the left? No, that can't be his real face. Something's off. Is he wearing a mask on the left? Can we see his hands? You mean the dust mask? Around his eyes can we see his hands like you mean the dust mask around his eyes

that's his real face maybe the lighting is just weird it doesn't i'm actually really baffled zach says no he agrees with kyle so the person left is just kanye in a um covid mask covid mask sure the inside of those masks, like those Halloween masks, just smells like cheap Chinese rubber. No way. You know Kanye's got good masks. That's dog shit. He had that designed himself.

That's what he looked like on the inside. What does it say? Friendship? It says friendship, yeah. With an extra I on the end. Man, that's great. I hope you don't fucking tease off again. Just do it again, man.

Go for it next time. Don't make it Jews. Yeah, a little originality. Who never takes shots? Samoans. You can say shit about gypsies all you want. No one cares. Tyson Fury's a gypsy. He calls himself the Gypsy King, I believe, right? He does. A little arrogant, a little cocky.

Yeah. I beat up that gypo, too. You could dominate him. Yeah. I don't think I could fight in his weight class. What do you have to weigh to get into there? What does he weigh? I think there's probably a height minimum to fight him. If you're under 6'5", they're like,

we're not going to let you kill yourself here, sir. I think fury's six seven or something he's like six nine like 260 i think he's isn't he the one that gave a hard time about his weight because he's getting he was so close to 300 he's six nine two seventy nine right now jesus christ oh yeah that was we skipped over it earlier that was wild that they released Trump's weight at 270. That's about where I would have pegged him, huh? I think I would have guessed close to 272. What would you guess if you had to guess a peak Chris Christie?

He's a tough body to guess because there's no fat adipose tissue there and that's not his tense. 330s. I bet he's definitely been in the 330s. I don't know. I've seen him in person and that's not his 3.30s I bet he's definitely been in the 3.30s like I don't know I've seen him like in person and that is a big fucker

he's shorter than Trump I went to the rally with you know I was 40-50 feet from him I wasn't like shaking his hand or anything he was up there on the stage 5.11 oh dude if he's 5.11 at that size I bet he's closer to 400 than 300

he was so bulbous he had that like you could not He's 5'11". I bet he's closer to 400 than 300. He was so bulbous. He had that like... You could not figure out where his crotch was exactly. Just like a malformed belly. I think it's like underneath. Like in there somewhere. He had one of those fat people bellies

where when people get so fat that they just give up losing that lower belly and they just tuck that into their pants yeah then they and then they have like a permanent deformation of fat cells because of a belt pressure like that seems like that well the military guys do that a lot i see yeah no not not not in the service hurrah like right up here right up here you want it you want it up high like a bra strap oh yeah i mean that's going to be a good part about getting old, wearing high pants. Yeah. I'm going to put my fanny pack up there.

That's what I was talking about. Do you have a fanny pack? I have one. I wear two. I didn't want one, but I turned 50, and they made me get one. I've got my main fanny pack, and then I've got the decoy that I wear up front. Decoy fanny pack. As you're being robbed, you're angling your body to keep the the real one

yeah yeah i got i got 20 and and some snack crackers in the front one wait is that the is that the riches or the decoy you crazy of course that's the riches and the decoy i've just got a bunch of q-tips that but i dropped them and they got stuffed in the cotton. Some loose change. None of it's silver, of course. Oh, my goshers! And there's a very broken

Nature's Valley granola bar. They'll never get all the crumbs. The functionality of Fade Packs is really great. They should come back. I think they are back. Everyone needs to come back. I think they are back. Everyone needs to come back. No joke, shoulder pads.

Shoulder pads make you look good. They make men look good. They make women look good. Shoulder pads are boss. I have a motorcycle jacket. You went ahead and quoted Michael Scott. Wait, did he say that? Holy shit, it's literally a Michael Scott quote.

You look like a nice, wide, thin... Those shoulder pads are really boss, man. Michael says, remember when people... Everybody's mad at him because he's the boss. He's like, people used to say boss about something that was good. Those are some really boss shoulder pads, man. Oh, God, that's funny. That's so good. Those are some really boss shoulder pads, man. Oh, God. That's funny. That's so good.

Sure, shoulder pads look good on everybody. Military uniforms are a perfect example. I think we should all have those shoulder pads like the military have with the little tassels dangling off of the tassels. I like that look. Now, this is just silly. I don't know what we're seeing here. He looks more like a

turtle or a poorly circumcised penis. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He's safe, though. He looked like he was really not enjoying what he was doing. He looked very hot, very sweaty. Yeah. Are you going to play Warhammer after this night?

Yeah, after I eat, I'm probably going to play. I'm going to run a few scenarios, get my notebook out, jot down a few outcomes, and then collate that data. And then, yeah, I'll probably get on and get real stoned and fight some lizards or something like that.

Nice. Woody, I'm going to keep reminding you to tell Jackie to watch Star Trek because it's so good. It's so good. It's so much nostalgia and member berries. I love it. I'm just drinking.

I'm eating the member berries every time they do it. We are watching Doctor Who now. We're on to a female Doctor Who. And at this point, I just have free reign to fall asleep during this show like i i don't pretend to like it i don't hate it i don't hate it it's dr who i like it and she has that dr who charm but i just don't seem to stay awake for the whole show i'm not engaged yeah i man season three of picard that's the show i promise you it's like the next. Season three of Picard. She would love that, too. She loves nostalgia stuff. It's 40 years after.

They were doing, you know, 1991, 1992, 1993. That's when they were doing this show in their heyday. And there they all are back. Aged pretty gracefully. I didn't know they had 40 years left in them. When I was a child, Picard was an old man. Now I'm an old man. How is he alive?

He's there like, engage! You're like, yeah, engage! Beverly Crusher is there. Fucking Commander Riker. Riker's killing it this season. Riker's so good. He feels just like Riker.

They're torturing Riker. they're trying to make him tug he's like you think I'd ever tell you where my friends are and they're like we've got counselor Troy and he's like no can you show this jacket real quick Zach

I have this jacket and it has it's motorcycle jacket so it has like armor along your spine and on your shoulders. I look so good in this jacket. It's like, I'm like wide up top. I don't have, I'm not gifted with a big V.

I've got these big hip bones, but in this thing, I got one. It's like a superhero stuff needs to come back. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like I'm going to buy one of these even without a bike.

Walk around looking huge. Just carry a helmet. Carry the helmet under the crook of your and just go everywhere like that. Looking fly. And then they watch me get in my car. You'll attract so many men if you look like a motorcyclist.

Is it kind of like working out where you're like, when I get big muscles, girls will want to touch them. And then you get big muscles and it's a bunch of guys who want to touch them. And it's like when you get big muscles, you realize like women don't give a fuck about your routine or any of your bullshit. No, it's dudes who are like, what are you doing, bro? I can't recall ever getting good at something that girls thought was cool. Yeah.

A lot of girls came to the hockey games in high school and for those teams, they thought that was cool. It's too late, but I bet they'd like my money. That is cool. Oh, it's never too late, but I bet they'd like my money. That is cool. Oh, it's never too late, Woody. Just keep going on those couples motorcycle rides.

She just fell off, officer. She just fell off. It's like, you're aware. This thing has armrests. How the fuck did she fall off? Into that shallow grave. Yeah. I mean,

you know. Yeah. Probably do pretty well for yourself. Yeah. I mentioned you're, we've talked a lot about like nerdy shit and like silliness this episode. And like, largely like I,

I really do enjoy when I see someone enjoying silly things.'s, like, but it's not my silly thing, but they enjoy it the same way I enjoy my silly things. It's like a camaraderie of, like, yeah, that guy with his fucking train shit. Like, I got my stupid stuff, too, like magic and like that. Like, I get it. Fuck, where was I going with that? You like seeing people enjoying their weird oh the nerdy shit i'm so sorry yeah that i i really did have a moment where i had to pause last night in like the middle of the second video i was watching like the histories of the scaven

in warhammer yeah i was like this like man i'm spending a lot of time learning about a fantasy world right now. And there was an urge to be like, oh, this is really nerdy and embarrassing. And it's like, no, this is... I'm really enjoying this. Let me tell you where I draw the line. Because I've been there.

I really like learning the lore behind that stuff. And it's all made up, but it's quote-unquote official because games workshop like says it is or whoever that is that owns the company oh this is the 10th edition this is real we say it is i was watching a youtuber who does his own fan fiction and i was like oh but you're just making it up it's all all made up. That is not lost upon me. But his version of made up

is more made up than their version. Their made up version is the real version and his made up version could be anything. Who's to say I like his when it can change so willy nilly without the whole corporation saying, yeah, that is how things are. You want Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, not Amazon's.

Well, it's also he's some fly-by-night YouTuber. If I allow myself to let his version into me and let that be something I enjoy. Invite him into your heart. Yeah, invite him into my heart. Yeah, and he turns on me. It's going to be such a loss I might not recover from it. So I'll only delve into the official versions of nonsense

not the made-up versions of nonsense however the guy i'm talking about literally has this thing about um cronan the the greatest of the orcs and it it's like a five-hour story about this or this orc's life and i think it's all made up from his by And I still like it. I don't know. I listen to it all. But yeah. I mean, that's creative. I feel very silly sometimes when I'm learning about the made up nonsense. But I don't know.

I like the made up nonsense. All media is made up nonsense. It's a fantasy world. The same as Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or all that. The one thing I did with watching these videos, though is like if i click on one of them and it's a guy being like george star child was the leader of this segment and he talks like that i turn it off immediately like i need i there's a channel with like a british guy who does it and it adds such an air of education to it where instead of like some some american some dumb ass like my like me who talks like me like talking about it it's some guy who's like

after the skaven king fell the new order rose and it's like what am i telling you about the new order the council of 13 and it's like it's really really cool and that's the wrong word it's really not it's not cool very talented in that space yeah i just like stories i just like stories and it's such a that universe is already well formed so you can you can allow yourself to enjoy those stories and know the rug isn't going to be pulled out from under you by some, you know, bad, bad storytelling or a bad product in general. It's always good stuff.

I like it a lot. And yeah, I don't know. I've, I've gotten to the point where I can't imagine myself judging anyone for their nerdy thing outside of those figurines and dressing up as animals. Sorry, furries.

Sorry, except for switch. You're okay. I like that. It's fine. I like him. Yeah. He can dress up as a blue wolf

because I think it's all about him getting as much dick as possible. I think he'd dress up as anything they wanted him to. It is. He loves dick. And you know what? He knows what he likes. He loves cock. And I say, Switch, you go out there and get as much cock as you want in your fucking outfits.

Do you see him in that fucking bodysuit? It was on the Hangout that he showed us. The one that he made? No. He has to lubricate his whole body to get into that white leather suit. Yeah. Yeah. He wore it for us. I appreciated that. I appreciated it too.

He's got, you know, he's one of the thinnest members. Oh, for sure. Now he is. He cut some fat. A lot of people lost weight in Hangout. He showed us a photo of him at some con or some fuckfest or something like that. For now. Sorry, Kyle.

I'm enjoying the one sentence conversation. No, I was just going to say, Fish showed us a picture of him and all of his cat friends and they're all in a field somewhere holding each other by the leash and dressed up as blue and red and green

animals and it was just a real... You know, you'd just wish Napalm would just rain from the sky and purify that... Animal control. While Switch was inside using the bathroom, it probably takes him 45 minutes to get out of that leather suit

so you know while that's happening napalm the rest of those degenerates because you know what they're up to stinking smelling like absolute asshole in their fucking mascot suits like uncle what's his name their hygiene's on point if I sat here

in a mascot suit for four hours it would be disgusting by the end maybe if i'm dancing around mascot professionals i i think what i value what his opinions about things and i think about them sometimes after i hear them later on and and i and i make decisions sometimes based upon them because they're always so good however there's one thing that he says often and it is just so against everything that I've experienced that I don't understand what enigma created this reality. It's whenever he talks about how good wing smells in person. Yeah.

It's just like every time we talk about meeting him, he's like, I'll tell you one thing. I look forward to the scent of that man. It's going to be fucking delicious. meeting him he's like i'll tell you one thing i look forward to the scent of that man it's gonna be fucking delicious vanilla and sandalwood with a hint of tobacco damn he does smell good if that's it smells like mahogany and fresh deodorant you walk in his house and it's like walking in a bed bath and beyond so kyle had him for the uh he smells like a man

i don't think he's's particularly smelly or anything. I'm not trying to say that about him. But he smells like a sweaty man. Not at the billionaires thing. He was on point. Best behavior. I linked a video in here. We probably should show Wing's video.

But it's just silly. I still say... I've come full circle. I just want to say I don't think the fight is going to happen. That is that is that is I don't know why I went out of focus when I was there. I don't think the fight is going to happen. That is my best guess based on all the information that I have. I don't really have any secret information no one else has, but it just seems like this shit ain't going to happen.

And I told I told you the other day with like the idea of the whole tamale that because that's what you gotta buy you're not just saying hey do you think wings is gonna fox yeah maybe but you're asking hey do you think wings and his family are gonna get in a jet and fly to another country and he's gonna get take his shirt off and he's gonna fight another man on pay-per-view. Nope. No fucking way all that shit happens. I believe that he'll say, like, some way along the way, we're going to stop.

We're going to stop somewhere through that process of getting from signing a contract to throwing a punch. There's like 15 things that they're gonna stop him what if wings gets all the way to the locker room and then gets cold feet yeah do you know what kind of internet villain that would make him the i i would have to walk into the ring at that stage just because i don't want to face the public backlash but maybe you gotta go you gotta go that's it that's you've signed that i've told you about that nightmare i had where where where i'm being informed that i have agreed to a boxing match it has been agreed upon on my behalf and i have limited time to prepare prepare for it and the dread is that you've got to go they're waiting on you you can't not go this isn't fucking i mean imagine

high school if you yeah philly's gonna fight jim outside the the you know the the the gym after school if you don't show you're the pussy forever you got to show up take your beating i just zach reminded me of the survival trip somehow i wasn't thinking about it and equating it to this but oh my god yeah he spent weeks and months remember what a pussy he called lefty a pussy repeatedly lefty a pussy he called lefty a pussy i'm not a big lefty supporter but that was wrong lefty was up front and honest hey i'm a city boy from chicago i'm not going down there in those woods. Yeah. Whatever lefty sounds like. Wings was just your pussy. It was going to prove what a man he was.

He was like, you know, down here in the south, it's kind of how we do things. We're in the woods with our mudflaps. Man, look, maybe I talk some shit too um but i planned on going there was never an idea of not going we went we did it without we were silly thinking that our

fire making skills perhaps were going to be clutch or that maybe we if we could tie a certain knot it would make all the difference i think i had those thoughts in my head on that first little trip but yeah getting back to the point of the, the, the, he will just not show up, man. That was an awkward conversation. I had this idea on the survival trip that like I would make the fire and that would be like,

I'm actually good at that. And that would be my skill. And then someone else would find the food. This is a little bit like we're going on a long drive. You do the driving. I'll do the sleeping. We'll split the sleeping. We'll split those duties.

It's like, no, Woody, what you're bringing to the table is not of equal value. This is a common thing. Anyone can start a fire and maintain it. Finding food turns out to be the impossible task. Yeah, it's really, really hard. I think that the key to a good survival trip and show and YouTube, whatever, is exactly what they do in survival. It's enough rice to keep you going. Plus whatever you earn.

You think about the real survival shows, you know, the ones where they don't feed the participants? Yeah. It's never about starting the fire. It's never about building the shelter. They all accomplish that part of it. It's about starving. They're slowly starving. Yeah, you're always weak.

You don't have a lot of energy to think about things. Don't think about that, I suppose. But your mental horsepower is lowered when you're not eating. You're not as creative. You're not as good at coming up with ways to get food. Sometimes. Yeah, he just won't show. Yeah, yeah yeah but i don't think they're ever getting there i don't think they're ever getting there i i don't like have a twitter so maybe i missed the key genesis of this thing but it just kind of seems to me like there's not a fight and there's not going to be a fight and it's just fun to talk about a fight

it is fun to chat about and it would be fun to chat about but but but it would it would not be fun to watch like any boxing match here's that you can take two of the best in the world and throw them in the ring after they've been training all year to beat each other up and it's boring you're telling me you can throw boogie and wings in a ring and i'm going to be tantalized for for 10 minutes get the fuck out of here it'm going to be tantalized for 10 minutes. Get the fuck out of here. It's going to be pathetic. And when one of them falls and hurts himself, it's going to be sad. I can take two high schoolers who hate each other, have them fight in a playground, and it's compelling.

I am watching that shit. I don't think training makes fights better. Yeah, anger and freak fights can sometimes make it better like i i would rather if it was between tyson fury and whoever fucking another good boxer is or wings and boogie like i would genuinely rather watch the undoubtable catastrophe that will be wings and boogie because like as someone who doesn't care about boxing and i don't think most of the people watching this give a fuck about boxing like they they just want to see like call of duty players beat each other up or like you know fucking fashion youtubers fight what i think of all the fights i could make in the world right

of people that are alive gsp versus um it's kind of interesting maybe i'd like to see that uh john jones versus steepay john jones versus in ganu wings versus boogie i have a hard time picking amongst the fights i just listed wow this is a personal friend you know yeah yeah it's probably not fair to compare because we know man we've met him we've touched him everybody knows him yeah but not like we do you know we've we've touched him we've smelled him we've looked deep into those sorrowful eyes and and seen evil look right back at him wings of redemption is more famous than stipe sure uh i don't believe that i do i think there's a website in there like a clout website that like shows like like current if i just don't think so man i don't know like it depends how you famous longer if you if you

did a poll of every person on the planet and saw how many of them could spell Stipe's name and knows who he is and who could do Wings' name and knows who he is, he'd probably win that. Yeah, I guess in some regards he would be more notable, but Stipe's like a currently famous guy who's discussed on mainstream

television every week. You know, like I feel like sometimes because a person's famous on YouTube, that that fame gets less prestigious. If 100 million people watch this guy on YouTube,

then that's not as cool as some fucking arrested development. Wings is more famous than Stipe. There's not people making there's a hundred thousand views a week from fans devoted to wings at least probably more than that i'm probably grossly underestimated because i don't watch that stuff but there's hundreds of thousands of views every week on wings and that doesn't happen for stepe it happens for the sport of mixed martial arts or ufc or like or like a whole weight division maybe there might be. But yeah, you're right.

Like Wings is a pretty famous guy. It's just the thing is you can't turn that into money, I don't think. But I could be wrong. I just don't think that you can turn that into money. I don't think people will pay for the Wings show. I think you could produce a Wings TV show, reality show, that I would subscribe to a service just to watch. I think you could do that. I want to see his daily life.

I want to see his family life and interactions, and I want to get beyond the fake Wings. You can kind of see when he's putting up a persona on a little bit, being funny. I'd like to get past that and just watch him live his life. I would pay for that, for sure. I need it to be well edited and just watch him live his life i would pay for that for sure but that's i needed to be well edited and put together there there aren't any there aren't any videos made by third party documentarians about stipe that have nine million views so i guess you're right it's a

problem there used to be a website called jenny cam jenny like jennifer the girl's name and uh as far as i know she's the first live streamer ever to have to exist and she put like three cameras in her house and just streamed her entire life all of her life she worked from home as like a web developer if i recall and uh you'd see this girl she was like like many people do in their 20s she was like kind of hot in her early 20s and then kind of a little too chubby in her later 20s. And did she have sex on camera? Like a little. Occasionally she had sex on camera because sex is a part of life.

And she shared her entire life. Is there nudity on camera? Little bits. There were fan sites devoted to grabbing it. But mostly she didn't stream her bathroom and every once in a blue moon she'd need to get clothes from the dresser or something. It's just her not being sexy really, but just

a woman getting dressed. Gotta be an archive of that footage. Now I have something to do this evening. Sorry Taylor, no more. Wings of redemption. Unless you'd like to join me on a quest. Wings, as Jenny can, would be boring. I think his actual life is a little repetitive. I will play a

37-year-old asshole. Who will your character be on our journey? I will be a 31-year-old homosexual. Only pretending to want to be involved in the woman's photographs. Exactly. Wow. Jennifer Ringley. You can Google her. Like Dungeons and Dragons. Jennifer Ringley. You can Google her.

Like Dungeons and Dragons. Jennifer Ringley. Dude, back when the internet didn't have interesting things, she was one of the few interesting things on the internet when it first started. Before Facebook, before YouTube,

she was streaming her life. That's pretty cool. I like the show. We do need to end the show. I was streaming her life. No, that's pretty cool. Call it a show. I liked the show. Yeah, we do need to end the show. I was gonna say,

I like that show. Big brother though. Like the idea of it. But then it was, it just ended up being soft core pornography then, which I love even more. So now I stick to that. Well, I guess that's a wrap next week.

We should have two guests. Oh yes. Yeah, I'm looking forward to a potential face-off between Harley and Dick Masterson. That'd be great. I hope there's still heat. To the death! P.K.A.

It's 42.