Painkiller Already - PKA 644 W/ Slush: Getting Beat Up By A 7 Yr Old, PKA Gaming Night, Spicy Videos With Your Doctor

Episode Date: April 22, 2023

I'm ready. PKA 644 with our guest Slush Puppy and friend Taylor. This episode of PKA brought to you by RealDBG.com, Lock and Load, and Blue Chew. A few wonderful sponsors. We'll hear more about all of them later. Slush, thank you for joining us. Thanks for having me again.

How are we? Of course. Oh, we're doing great. Hockey playoffs started, which means we can talk about it the whole entire episode. Canes can't. We get that out of the way. episode no i purposely didn't talk about it for seven months we got that right before the show we all agreed that lemieux was the greatest of all time and that um gretzky's brother would have been better than him if he'd had the same opportunities he was a duck but he was black he was by and uh it's the bigotry they just like it's like little kid wayne they're like go wayne go and it shows like the parent like slowly plot

off through the snow into the home into a dog food bucket walking into the basement and feeding brent gretzky his his. The ultimate. Is hockey like the only sport in America that isn't just completely dominated by black people? Baseball is mostly like South Americans love baseball.

There's lots of... Jack, give us the demographics of Major League Baseball because I would guess you've got a healthy percentage of whites there I'm going to say 60% white high 20s below 30s

baseball is not a sport well, definitely a sport well then a game, whatever you want to call it an activity fucking pussy winkles, whatever. I will not be baited. There are some really fat white guys playing first base.

There's some really fat white guys fighting for the world championship every night. Fat doesn't mean anything. A lot of athletes need that power. That's fuel, god damn it. Are you going to walk with an empty tank, Woody? What if the game goes into 12 overtimes?

The fat people will rule. Yeah. What if this fact is nature saying, your fuel is on E, Woody? If they could pack a lunch and put it in their pants, they might be okay. Skinny blocks. Baseball, you don't have to resist eating

because a lot of the time, they're snacking on nuts and seeds and stuff. They bring food to the outfield. They eat hot dogs during the game. Just to be clear, what actually happens as far as food, and it's probably all sports, although I've only seen football this year

when Georgia won the championship so convincingly they were eating hot wings in the third quarter of the game they were on the bench the stars were eating hot wings like yeah it's pretty fun huh it was lifetime best team make it to the final game I don't know yeah

at the last Braves game I was at I had I don't know the best seats that money can buy without like knowing somebody. And you could see the players' wives and shit, like, right in front of me. Because, you know, you can't buy their seat. You've got to suck dick for it. And I noticed that, like, they're going right down into a little private tunnel. And it's not ballpark food.

It's catering. There's tiramisu. They're coming out with little glass plates and little doilies with cupcakes on them And shit, forks and stuff I wish I was an athlete's wife Right? I'd take any of them I mean, the amount of dick you suck is okay, Taylor But you needed to step it up to become an athlete's wife

No, I'd have to be blonde, have you not seen? Yeah, they are blonde They're all blonde, I have no chance Maybe Kyle They're not natural you could do it i take it back oh no most of them have that uh that uh superstition where they can't fuck before a game because they uh don't want to they don't want to like lose the testosterone so they think it's bad luck i don't

think it'd be that hard like most of the season they'd want to win. So you can just sort of layer and do whatever you want. I really hope there aren't a lot of people who subscribe to that notion of, of not like coming or fucking for some reason to improve athletic performance. Rhonda Rousey talked about it, but it was the inverse. She said there was a release of testosterone. So she'd try to fuck before a big fight. That may be true for women.

Yeah. Like, you know, they're everything's backwards for them but everything's back brains a lot yeah i could be totally convinced either way it's a good one slush like fucking under the radar but i like it like if if you told me that like fucking beforehand like, it increases focus, I'd be like, okay, I believe you a little bit. If someone was like, no, it loses testosterone, I'd be like, that makes sense. Cum is something to do with that. It's way more... If I'm hyped up to go play ball today

and I have sex, there's a non-zero chance I'll be like, what was I thinking? I don't want to play ball. I want to go take a fucking nap in that regard i i i watched someone talk about a uh a wrestler that used to like just watch a fuckload of porn before he went out like not not uh jerk it but he'd just sit there and just watch like hardcore porn is like he's instead of like an amp up song like this dude's not listening to air to sandman like he's just sitting there watching like he's got a fat shot hardcore yeah i think his sole motivation

was just to look good in little wrestling trunks yeah he was getting out of a sticky situation what are you doing getting ready for the fight so um whenever i always wonder about that because some of those wrestlers man they're they're little like uniforms they would wear especially back in the day with wwf they didn't cover a lot like i can see your dick route bro and i i know for me personally maybe i'm the only one here but when i get into athletic competition of any kind any sort of like serious thing my dick shrinks it's like oh we're going into fight mode? Mine's down to like 70. Alright, let me reel the rest of your... It like reels itself in.

The rest of your body's like, we need all blood reserves for fighting. Yeah, that is... I don't want it hanging out, because if I get into a flop, someone's going to die. I don't want to lose the end of it. You don't want it flopping. That's tradition here.

I'd be down to six promises where vigo mortensen aragorn himself fights off two or three uh russian mafiosos in a sauna butt ass naked all right hanging dong he is hanging dong and these russians come in i would have been like can i put my underwear on before we start and i feel like they'd have said yes but he goes right to action. He just starts fighting. And the whole time, all I'm thinking is, dude, I hope nobody like pinches your balls or something.

Because they're fighting to the death. Hypothetically, Kyle, you say, can I put my underwear on before the fight? Yeah. Do you think they fully let you and then start a fair fight? Or do they wait until you're like, do they wait until your ankles are tied together? I'll say this. If it were me on the other end and we're coming to jump some guy.

Let's say he's a bad guy. He's the villain. And he's naked and we're coming there to do justice. In our minds, that's probably what those Russian gangsters are thinking. And he's like, hey, comrade. I don't want to hang brain while we fucking do this thing in the sauna. I don't want to die with my dick out. I'll tell you what, if you hurt me,

I might pee on you a little. You never know. Or if I hurt you, I enjoy that. I might cum on you a little. I'd be like, whoa, bro, say less. You know what? Put your pants on. Russian guys like boys, they have to threat or promise. There was an MMAma fight in pride now this is the early days before people really knew what fighting was well

before people really knew what fighting was most effective so this brazilian jiu-jitsu guy who always trained in his karate pajamas it's called a gi uh he goes out there and a gi is a weapon to him right he's like with this belt with this jacket with whatever half of my chokes involve like grabbing my own clothes and stuff like that so he wears the gi well and this story's gonna be like 80 right into the fight he realizes that this gi is a weapon that goes both ways he not only is it handles for him that he's accustomed to having but his opponent can easily just like grab him by the deltoids and control him or do whatever there's handles all over me

and none on you so mid-fight he's like wait a second and he starts to take his gi off and the other guy fucks him up while he like it's not sporting. And that's what I said. But everyone else I was training at the time was like, of course he did. It's fighting. You don't, there's no timeouts in fighting. There literally are.

Asking for a timeout in fighting is very bad form. It's like worse than third man in. Like you can't do it. No, there's form it's like worse than third man in like you you can't do it no there's no way it's worse they do it almost every fight does it though with they'll claim eye poke low blow so ufc has made some rule changes unofficially i've just noticed in the results and what happens it that's the second foul you get a point taken away every single time just about now and so it's very advantageous for for me if i'm in there if anything is close if you kick me and it's close to my dick at all i'm gonna fake it i'm gonna fake oh he got me and they're gonna go ah foul number one one more foul like that taking a whole

point a point means the round is lost yeah yeah i could there are scenarios where because of that point even though i lose two out of three of these rounds because one judge is a little squirrely, we get a split draw or something like that. This is good for me. Everybody does that now. Eyes get near my face. Oh, you poked me right in the eye. Oh, foul number one.

They need some embellishment. Fingers in my glove. They're trying to get that first foul. They should do what hockey does. If you embellish or if you're just a dick in general, know you know um they're trying to get the first out um they should do what hockey does like if you embellish or if you're just a dick in general bring an enforcer in you tv1 him dude and at the end of every season they just the nhl just released the list this year they release a list at the end of every season fully showing everyone who embellished and how many times they embellished

throughout the year and like so if someone if you see a name that's like, that guy embellished three times this year? That's absurd. Wait, three is absurd? Yeah, dude, like a flagrant embellishment three times, like pretending to be hurt and jumping when you're tripped. Is this one of those scenarios where, like speeding, you get caught every 400th time?

And if you have three speeding tickets this year, that means you're pretty insane. No, like these, like these people are like serial. Like if some guy, if, you know, I don't like. Did the question make sense? Because doing it three times over 82 games doesn't sound outrageous to me. It is to have it called on you three times.

That was the question. To have it called three times means he did it 300 times. Correct. Yes. Yes. So like, like PK Subban, like he established such a reputation for it that like he just stopped getting calls. That's eventually how it goes.

And so they need to bring shaming like that to the UFC. Post a list of everyone who embellishes and fine them for it. And then they stop. Mostly. I agree with you. Less embellishment and more intentional fouls like it like by ratio there's way more there's way more intentionally fouling someone than there is people intentionally embellishing things uh that that is way more common they changed the

gloves also quietly recently uh it's it's interesting how they're just they're just evolving the sport quietly they did do that quietly because they asked about gloves, and Dana White said the only change is the color. Everybody was pointing out the material between the thumb and the finger. Maybe I got fucking hoodwinked, but I read the whole thing. I just know. I saw some fighters' Instagram. They were like, new UFC gloves.

I remember when they had the 25 or 30 year, I think it's 25 year anniversary, maybe 30. They got the number on the glove, the 30 on the glove. The first night they did it, dude hits a guy so hard, he knocks the 30 off his glove. That's amazing. It would be awesome if the 30 gets stuck on the other guy.

On his face. That's what I want. That's the best episode ever. I'm going to give you something you can't take off. We went to the... I finally joined a Kyle versus Taylor gaming night on the

PK Hangout. What does it take to be in that Hangout? Is it like a $50 thing? It's all $50. You can't do it with like $5 or something to get to that display. You can be a friend of mine. Okay. That's how i did it i don't have any friends that don't pay me 50 dollars like fins in that finsters in there uh he pops in every now and then and yeah i don't charge him not with money no yeah i saw the game there were some highlights for me

it wasn't even the gameplay kyle was explaining how everyone in the you have to see understand this is a battlefield it's four people playing at once they played free for all and domination 2v2 and taylor how many people are on your team would you say this is npc 1500 1500 kyle's explaining they all have a backstory. He's like, you can zoom into this guy. There's a guy running for his life. He's not obeying Kyle's commands anymore. He's just running into the woods. And Kyle's explaining, well, he has a wife and kids at home. They await his return in Lorien Forest.

He can't die in this battle. He must return to the calls of Curac from whence he came. Warhammer 3 is what we're talking about. Total Warhammer 3, the RTS top down. Fantasy Warhammer RTS. It's really cool for cool people.

It's a cool game. It's a sweet game. I'm a massive fan of Warhammer. used to collect that shit like uh like workloads when i was young i dare you to produce any kind of war hair and warhammer physical item i i would all of my stuff is out in the uh in the lounge room and i'm not wearing pants so i'll take your word for it then just a little bit then go get your stuff i sold most of it back in the day i have uh i have like one set left of uh chaos space variants and they don't cool i was like i'm gonna lay i i was like i'm gonna paint those but i i got rid of

a lot of it back in the day but uh yeah i used to love it and uh i've heard the books are really good i've been i've heard good stuff about the book. I've read two or three or four of the 40K books. The game we play is based in the fantasy Warhammer universe, which has a lot of similarities. The gods are the same. But it's fantasy. As opposed to the realism one?

Oh, okay. One's like galactic space shit, and the other is more like... The Empire is just a bunch of people. It's the Emperor of Man, and it's just a bunch of guys on horses and spears. If not fantasy, like a factual Warhammer universe?

Or Rome. They do historical games as well. We're playing more of the you know the one they branded with warhammer but they make uh historical games with just the french versus but how many times you do the french versus the saxons before you're just like you know what i hate crossbows i used to love that uh total war rome the uh yeah back in the day i used to love that Total War Rome. Back in the day, I used to play that with my brother, and we would sit there for like 15 hours on a game, and we'd start off as like two different nations,

and we'd get to the point where it's just like both of us have like half of the world each, and then we're just constantly fighting each other, and then we'd just have like a massive argument, and either we'd punch each other out, or one of us would just like quit the game. Yeah, war is now. Jackie said she appreciated the narration you were given Kyle and explaining what was going on.

And Oh, that's, that's, that's nice. I meant to say it was nice hearing her voice. I hadn't heard from her in a long time. Yeah. Yeah.

That was cool. You guys popped in and watch this play for a little while at last. We played again last night and I had a fucking meltdown. I wish we were there i had a fucking meltdown every show like let me let me i want full blue boy woody mode nice i i uh so part of it is this if if i have a nap and i get woken up from it sort of unexpectedly i get like nap blue balls where i'm i'm i can't control how grouchy i am i'm just in this very sour mood i feel mean when i like like like i feel like i want to hurt somebody like like i'll be malicious i'll hurt feelings and say cruel cruel things that normally i would just let float through because it's that's not funny it's just mean don't say that but um you know that happened yesterday and uh

and and i can't and i told everybody everybody i i everybody the problem is you catch a stray a little really not really i almost texted taylor hey if any of that was directed toward you rudely i'm sorry it was just missing everyone i started typing it i mean i was kind of laughing at it just like this is kind of hilarious. Because he was saying the whole time, I'm in a bad mood. I'm going to blow up. And I'm like, I think he's kind of goosing up the humor a little bit.

And he was not. Was your teammate not carrying his load? Oh, it wasn't that at all. What happened was Taylor wants to get everybody involved and have a big war 2v2 but the problem is that game suffers from a few things it's not a super popular game so not a lot of people play the multiplayer specifically you have to have a very good pc hardware wise

thousands of dollars you have to have very good bandwidth so you can connect we're all clicking this rts microseconds are happening and and if there's and the the whole thing slows down and starts lagging if anybody has bad bandwidth and i i'll sit there taylor be like hey yeah you want to play with us do you have this game to all these people that i know either are just bad at all games bought the game just to be kind have never played it and never will people who have like really shitty computers people who have awful laggy internet and i'll sit there because i'm being polite normally and i'll just and hours of my time will be wasted while we try to have a game with these people i'm sitting in lobbies for an hour and a half playing for 15 minutes only to find that they're going to drop because their system can't handle the game then spending another 20 minutes like getting everybody back in the lobby only to find

that that what you know what i mean like can i pause you yeah is there a way for them to test without you to see if they're capable of playing this game no okay not exactly we all need to connect all four of us there it really puts a stress on things so i just had enough i'm like no no i don't want to play with you i don't play with any of you no you know taylor it won't work and And I just exploded and said all that. He doesn't want to play with you. No, Taylor. It's like, I just want to play. If me and Taylor get in a lobby and just play, we can play a game and then another and then another and then another. But when we involve all these people who can't play,

don't know how to play, don't have the system to play or don't have the bandwidth to play, it's just a fucking nightmare. It was like after the blow up and everything, like we decided like Kyle was like, I'm doing 1v1s with Taylor. I'm doing 1v1s with Taylor tonight.

We're running games. We're practicing. And then someone came in like comically soon after that and was like, hey, are you guys playing? You know, you need someone else to jump in. And Kyle was just like, I am running 1v V ones with Taylor tonight. It will not work out.

If we try this, I am telling you it will not pan out. Yeah. One V one. If you would like to watch, you can watch. If they want to get in the group and play with me, get up,

do what I do, do what I do. Cause I get on an hour and a half two hours early before y'all do and i make sure shit works i'm there for hours before you i show up to this show 15 i'm here but sometimes and zach isn't here you know get there early and we'll get your and y'all get in a room together and make your own game that works and then invite me but i'm not going to be your overseer and your fucking myth buster and the guy who tinkers on your goddamn hardware well maybe an ssd will help of course it'll fucking help you're free you're free now it's the 21st century get an

s anywho yeah i don't know if like this part home enough like it's not just trying to get into a game like multiplayer in this game is rife with errors and glitches and it will sometimes for no reason tell you you can't start a game everything set up correctly everything and then you back out do it again now it will work like i don't know what i'm talking about but i did watch it for one night and it seems like preparing yourself to start a game is at least as time consuming as tarkov like people spent 15 minutes making decisions prior to the game and the wrong people could spend 30 or 40 yeah and that's not that big of a deal because it's like if everyone's in the lobby and you're picking your military and it gets to be like 10 minutes you can be like hey is everybody readied up and usually someone

will be like oh i didn't even realize i was taking a while we're all smoking too so like oh that might calm you down because i don't like that you take 10 minutes and then i'm like no back to the drawing board and it's like in uh in tarka i play tarkov solo for that reason i'm not gonna wait on y'all anymore i had a little blow up at tarkov i was like look man i'm just man i love playing with you guys duos and trios duos and trios are my favorite but i would rather play 10 solo matches than two fucking duos or trios and that's just what's gonna happen if i have to drag y'all around and wait on you to get out and oh i need to clean my stash i got on an hour early out of respect for you and i cleaned up my stash why couldn't you do that for me you know um so i play i like to play most of those games solo but this is a game where i want to compete with somebody i need

what are they what's the saying about steel sharpening steel or something iron sharpens iron yeah you know like i i need taylor there to taylor's very smart he studies during the day and improves every night and it shows is Taylor? I connect with the other team can't you tell? look how thick these are it's such a fun game I'm having a blast

with it Slush I want to know have you ever had a big time gaming blow up moment where you lost your shit on someone oh yeah all the time yeah i've had i've had a few mouse chucks on stream before i most of them are so 99 of them have been talkarkov. And then just Tarkov-related bullshittery. Like, a grenade will land directly next to me and make no fucking sound or some bullshit like that, and then I just lose it. I'm like, the main thing that fucks with me is when a game bugs

and I die because of that reason. Like, I don't care about getting outclassed. Like, I know I'm not the best in the world and i'm gonna die if i die to bugs and it just keeps happening and it's a bug that's been in the game two-time world champion uh no we only won rivals once i did okay one-time world champion a one-time world champion i just wanted to throw that out there because he's like you know i know i'm not that good it's too yeah i don't know it's uh yeah it's just infuriating when it's like a bug that's been in the game for like ever i i will say sometimes when uh when i'm playing something and i'm playing with someone that has no idea what they're doing and i'm like trying to i'm trying to like move

forward in the game like especially like a like i was playing this game called barotrauma a while back and uh it's about like operating a submarine and everyone has like specific jobs that they have to do and this would be great to play with the community if you want to lose your shit because it's fucking hilarious like that bomb defusing game yeah that's what i it's called yeah barotrauma it's called and uh your fucking accent brother barrow hang on i'll just stop it this is this is barrel trauma do you do you just wear a barrel in public barotrauma there we go baro trauma i don't know what barrel i heard it right it's just a word that doesn't exist so i didn't't recognize it. Yeah. So I think it's meant to be, like, pressure underwater kills you or some shit. I don't even know if it's a real word.

Oh, barometric trauma. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's, yeah. You have, like, a submarine, and it's, like, this sort of, like, Lovecraftian horror thing. Like, you're on a different planet, and there's all these, like, fucking monsters that, like, attack your sub. And everyone attack your sub and everyone has like specific jobs like i was the captain so i'm trying to order everyone around but i'm playing with a bunch of friends and all of us are fucking drunk as fuck or high no one's listening to what the fuck's happening we're just crashing the submarine into bullshit and dying over and over again so yeah and then i'm now i'm losing my fucking mind like

i'm yelling at people and then of course i've got people that are just like i think that they just don't understand in reality they're just being fuckheads and riling me up deliberately so i've got one one teammate running around shooting me with fucking radioactive darts so i think that the reactor is fucking leaking because i keep getting irradiated and shit like that so you control the fuck out of each other there's even like a um that sounds like uh imposter kind of mode where it's like one person's mission to like sink the sink the fucking submarine and kill everyone well that's that's the way to play it seems yeah if you look at the graphics you'll be like what the fuck is this but it is actually quite fun and and in depth but yeah is it scary? survival horror submarine simulator I wouldn't say scary

I mean it's it's definitely stressful like trying to keep the the second you get attacked by something it's like holy fuck what the fuck is happening because there's just like water coming in every orifice and you're just like fucked what are you playing nowadays Slush?

just random stuff really I've uh i've been playing snow runner snow runner i don't even know what that is i hope that's a bobsled game no i wish um it's like a uh it's like a full driving game so you have uh you have like a map and it's like uh fucked roads and stuff and you have to like full drive your way through it to do like certain missions like like uh get to a point to unlock like a uh a watchtower and then that'll show you all the missions on the map and then you have like big trucks and you have to ship like they like fucking oil rig machinery through these like fucked alaskan ice truck roads and it's uh it's quite fun the the uh the physics on it are fantastic like the the model like deforms and shit like that and it looks amazing uh i like

one of those job simulator games exactly i normally love that shit the very idea of those games because it's like man maybe you just like become a ups driver and live stream that like double up on this income thing but i was watching it of course you can people do it i there was a short the other day where this guy was i don't know what game specifically but he was like long haul trucker simulator and he was on some make-believe road i'm sure because it was just like a one lane thing that was a cliff on either side and he he was like oh gonna have to turn around and he does a fucking crazy u-turn maneuver with like a lane and a half where the whole time he's hanging off like like like like he's he rocks the truck at one point like like's like, gonna fall off the cliff?

No, it's not. Back up. He turned that bitch around. I couldn't have turned a fucking sedan around in that road. He turned that semi with the trailer and everything. And of course, it's a video game and everything. But it was really fun to watch him do it because they throw the green screen behind him that makes him look like

they're in a big rig. They'll put a hat on. They'll pull a fucking fake horn. I love it when they do that that making more money than any real trucker oh yeah i i had one one day uh one one stream where a game called lawn mowing simulator came out and uh so i watched you play that yeah so i got i got lawn mowing simulator out and then uh i had the guy that i paid at the time to mow my lawns mowing my lawn on camera while i was simulating mowing lawns and i was like this is it this is the height of western society pretending to do a chore that you could very well just do

like earning like 30 times what this motherfucker's doing mowing my lawn. In a perfect world, you have a technology where you can scan a customer's yard, throw it into the game as a map, and then livestream your video game character mowing the virtual lawn, but you're simultaneously

controlling a mow bot that is actually there in the real world mowing it. And they're like, alright, here's the virtual job. Let's see what the real one looks like. And then you just see a cat mangled. There's a child crying.

The police are shooting the child. There's something wrong with the lawnmower. It's got a bunch of little shoes in it. I'm talking it toddler shoes again like a game where you set up uh like trucking sim like euro truck sim except you like scan all the roads and then you have these people driving the trucks except they're actually driving like real trucks in real life and we're like yeah you could totally

do that like some some enders game level bullshit where you've just got like 16 year olds because i it's kids you know that's what's happening in ukraine right now right what's that there's a there's a game where guys are actually controlling characters fighting that war they don't realize it let me see that's that's all i can imagine is happening from the videos that i'm seeing over there that's a gerard i watched a video yesterday or the day before i linked you guys on whatsapp it's 11 minutes and 20 seconds long so i don't blame if you didn't watch it i watched it spellbound wishing there was three hours of it this fucking russian no ukrainian motherfucker he's he's i think his call name is Quiet, which probably sounds sicker in Ukrainian.

He's got like a suppressed AR-15. Like the chick with the huge tits out of Metal Gear Solid V. Yes. I didn't know about her. It's the other one, the Russian game with those like fembots. Don't let me get distracted. Hang on. This guy's got his GoPro on and it's fucking first person.

Good audio and great video. Like, GoPros now are so goddamn good. It's not that fish lens like, oh, come on, dude. Lick your thumb. No, it's like I'm in a movie. It's good POV. And he goes down into a hole which is a bunker where his comrades are down into and he's like, ah,

it's like fucking Gregor dead. And he's like, yes, you paid ultimate price, comrade. And the dude's dead over there with a jacket laid on him everybody's in there kind of scared dirty wounded ish got their guns and stuff and uh he's kind of like getting them organized and then he go he looks back out the hole the entrance to the hole and a grenade comes in and blows up boom and everybody goes ah it hurt he runs out he's like fuck this he goes out the hole and there a russian is he goes pop pop pop shoots the russian the russian flick turns and throws his another hand grenade at us you see the grenade coming through the air it lands right here and

blows up he goes boom he's like fuck that he doesn't go back in he's like come on get out of the hole he runs out and around and up on top of the thing they're all under and there the russians are there's three of them right fucking there he's he just starts destroying them one of them's crawling trying to get away and he's going it's just like we would because we're not army men he shoots one a little and then he's like oh that one moved and he shoots the other one a little and then he goes back he's like he's he wounds them all terribly and then he kills them all one by one and the whole time he's on the radio with command yeah we've lost the left trench 11 o'clock we've lost 11 o'clock get out of the hole take 11 o'clock and his guys are coming out they're shooting he's like all right we've taken 11 o'clock friendly's in it friendly's in that trench now somebody's like the orcs jump in the trench at one o'clock.

Dude turns over here, and there they are. And they're like 40 yards away, and they don't see him. He's just killing them all. Bizarre to be that close. He kills six guys in four minutes, maybe. With his silenced, what is the weapon? Like an M4 type. He's semi-automaticing it so just call it a an m4 after all of our other grenade discussion it made me think that like you can't survive

two grenades going off right next to you depends on the grenade and like this must be terrible grenades like how do you yeah that seems really unlikely did they not go off i hear you the other thing is um i i've so i've watched a lot of grenade footage. Sometimes it lands in just the wrong spot. If it lands in a one-foot hole, then it's kind of useless. In Tarkov, it can go in that bucket. It can go in that bucket in the hallway. In Shoreline, I've been laying down, and I had one land on the other side of a cardboard box and blow up and it didn't kill me i'm like yep or uh people throw them into a uh a bedroom and

you jump up on top of the bed and it goes under the bed and then it doesn't kill you that's uh just like real life yeah i do not understand grenade damage like i've watched footage where like people seemingly are okay seeming seem to be okay. And then the comments explain, like, no, that guy's toast. He's got six bullet holes in him. It's like, you don't understand. A million chunks of metal fly out. And then the other one was like, blows up there, blows up there. It's like, you don't understand.

Total crapshoot. It's like, what is it? The one thing you're right about is I don't understand. Yeah, you're right. There used to be a huge gap between good and bad the guy that's closer to the mouth of the the cave who like eats the grenade more or less but our cameraman is like fucking vasily are you still alive and dude kind of looks over his own body and goes fuck we got to get out of this hole boys yeah that's like the final destination.

As you were telling the story, it's like the temptation is to go deeper in the hole. That's not going to win you any fights. You got to get out and fight. The situation is not going to improve unless you. I'll say this. I know in World War One, they would do this thing where both sides would miss on purpose because if you hit somebody, they'll just replace them. They will be replaced. So just,

just miss, just keep missing. And the number of men on the line will remain the same and nobody will die. So they would just do that. If the Russians are being forced forward or something, or they want it because they're coming, they're coming. And waves of men running through the forest with rifles.

They're coming. I watch a lot of Ukraineraine footage and i've heard more that both things you said so on the world war one thing like they were intentionally missing each other there was there's a famous thing where i guess they played soccer against each other on christmas day and the people the the guy making the video was explaining like yeah yeah everyone knows about the soccer not everyone knows that they kind of sort of stopped fighting like weeks leading into that. They were intentionally shooting in the air.

And as soon as one side got a kill, the other side would get a kill and everyone would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is getting kind of warish. Dial it back.

So they just wanted to hang out in the shit trenches for part of how world war one ended and how no one was ever making progress was the people in the trenches figured out that it wasn't to their best interests to shoot each other. So they would just miss and drag it on and survive. And then Kyle had a second point. Oh, yeah. So the Russians, it's not in their best interest to do what they're being commanded to do, which is like rush these things. Right. They'll be like, what are you taking from the front? Kyle, you come from the flank. And I quickly figure out, you know, what would work well for me?

What if I attack the front really slowly and let Kyle soften them up and let Kyle attack them? And then I'll just fucking chill. When Kyle's 90% finished, I'll jump in and be like, yeah, sorry, traffic or whatever. And then it's Kyle's incentive to do the same thing. So these Russians are not fighting hard like they should and they're letting each other down when they have a manpower advantage.

So now they're putting... They're giving up the tactical advantage, sort of an L attack where you're attacking from one flank and then head on. And both parties have to fully engage for that to be effective. If you do anything else, then it's just like a game we play. Then these guys with the defensive positions will kill you as you run into the machine guns that are mounted and pointed where you're coming from. So now they put these Russians in these positions where it's like, take this.

And you have to either take the position or die if one of those things didn't happen then i know you didn't do your job and we shoot you in the back and that is the kind of stuff that's happening on the russian side right now it is especially you don't need motivation as a ukrainian because you're like i'm defending the home turf like i think that's probably why it's so hard to invade a country though because like if people are like, this is roughly ours, they have all the motivation in the world. And these other people,

they're just kids. But he just fucking doing what they're told. Yeah. I drafted Afghanistan. Yeah. I linked you guys. Afghanistan. You have like the whole like anti-terrorist thing.

Like that was a massive motivation. So they're just like, all right, that's enough motivation for us to go to this country do whatever the fuck we want oh for the u.s government i was saying like the the failure of the u.s military to like win afghanistan like bolsters your point like yeah you're defending where their home is like are gonna but after a while like that sort of ran out of steam like it was like 2001 you had like a good like five six years where it's like yeah yeah fuck those towel heads and then uh and then all of a sudden they're just like they're just

like uh we're sort of getting over this now so it was never gonna happen like they never like that shit had to be i think we killed all the ones we were originally mad at jim that's how we want to be over everybody says we lost those wars and i i get that like we didn't go out there and clean them out like john wayne would have and we didn't ride in there and take their whole government down and and prop up a new one we didn't do a japan germany but jesus i think we literally did kill all the ones we were originally mad at like it was their sons we were fighting by the end of the war i mean the same how did we. I mean, the same day the U.S. the same day the U.S. left.

The Taliban was following them out like the front of their shoes on the back of their boots, like, you leaving, huh? Ha ha ha. And we're in charge again. You can't really say it was a win. Not at all.

It was a tie. That's the huge L. It's the American win. Huge L. Yeah, yeah. We've tied every war since two. There's a lot of people over there. We're like a UFC fighter who's fought like seven years too long. And we've ruined our initial good record with a bunch of ties.

Do you think we tied Vietnam? That guy's career sucks. God damn it. That's like, happy parade. America just needs to stop plotting influences for money. You know? Ah, yes. We fight epic mealtime men and Sam Hyde.

Yeah, exactly. Dude, I loved Harley's fight. If people didn't see Harley's fight, he goes in there and Harley's against this WWE wrestler. Whose nickname is the mayor of slam town. I'll be calling him the mayor going forward. So Harley goes in there and he and the mayor meet sort of center ring. Harley's a much taller man,

but the other guys like kind of like a professional athlete, right? He's a professional wrestler. He's, he's really athletic. He gets on the inside and he starts landing punches on Harley. And I thought, looking at highlights, that it was the end of the fight

when the guy knocked Harley down with a punch and Harley rolled out from under the ropes into the crowd. And we did a sort of round table before the fight. What was your biggest fear, right? I think one of us didn't want to take our shirt off in public. Another one was worried they'd get hurt. Mine was coming up short on courage. Like, that's my big fear.

I can lose a fight. That's fine. And I think I managed to look good enough for my age with a shirt off. But my fear is that I go in there and I don't have the courage that I expect from myself. Well, Harley gets hit hard. He gets knocked down to the point where he's like out of the ropes. And like, what does he do? Like he's walking around the side of the ring to the adjacent side.

He's going 90 degrees around this ring. And then he gets back in. He had an out. He was hit. Everyone would have understood that he was hit. He was hurt. He was knocked down and the fight could have ended, but not Harley. Harley is like, I didn't hear no bell, right?

And he goes back in there and he tries again. It's because you ruptured your eardrum, you fool! Harley was just thinking, eee! It doesn't go a lot better in the second half of the fight again the mayor manages to close the distance he hits harley this time when harley goes down the ref immediately pulls one of those like time to stop sort of deals and that ends the fight and look at that motherfucker

if you're thinking that what you look from a fight like i love fights i've talked about this all the time it doesn't matter if it's a freaking ufc championship fight or two middle school kids on the playground i love to watch fights and i judge them by courage and heart and if you could pull that picture up again it is the epitome of courage and heart harley didn't win the fight on the scorecards but like i'm proud of his performance so yeah yeah i would not have stepped in the ring like when he told us when he was on last the name of the guy again that he was fighting and we looked it up i was just like a picture oh no like this this guy's a real deal athlete like you couldn't pay me to get nice controllers embarrassed by this guy in another way actually athlete. Like you couldn't pay me to get nice controllers embarrassed by this guy.

In another way, actually it's way less embarrassing to lose a fight to that guy than like another food challenge YouTuber, you know, like no, no, no one is going to, no one is.

I don't think anyone out there is like Harley. What a pussy. Did you see him get beat up by that enormous professional athlete? It's like, yeah, no shit. Like Harley knew what was coming going into it as well okay what's the thing like having having the balls to step into the ring

with someone shout out probably gonna beat the piss out of you it's like yeah that's that's pretty tough yeah i don't think i did it all for free can you believe it i would i would only find blind children like something that i went i thought that went really well for harley honestly um he didn't get like hurt or bloodied he got knocked around a little but i i think we could all take that kind of beating and and and go to sleep that night it's not that scary beating to me i i don't want to i don't want my nose broken again like even now my allergies i'm like i'm over here with, like, fucking sinus shit and my black people Vaseline just to try to keep my nose from falling off. So if somebody broke my fucking nose again, that would just ruin my goddamn year. I didn't order the black people Vaseline on purpose, but it's what came.

It says equitable skin care for all. And then it's got two black ladies and a silhouette of a third. No, there's a silhouette of a whole slew of them. It's lousy with black people on the cover of this thing. Are you sure it's special Vaseline and not just of different brands? No, no, no. It's special Vaseline. Why does fucking everything have that art style now? That like boring, bad shade, bland art.

No, we got all the browns in here, Taylor. We've recovered everyone. Every shade of taupe brown and fucking mauve. But anyway. I mean, your nose looks great, so it's working. It's been great for keeping my raw, raw fucking nose. I've been sick for, I don't know. doctor time soon it's a i don't go to doctors i've got to go get my fucking blood work oh god i don't want to do that blood work i'm gonna pass someone else do it

no if you give them your blood don't be ridiculous have him this is you need to find like a fitness chick yeah i have yourself all the time you can take your own blood i have a blood fine but you're a little pregnant yeah i have a blood bucket i could just use that yeah you could just take him a i hate giving that blood work i they he emailed me the other day he's like hey just checking in you know and i'm like ah yeah i'll get right on it. And that was last week. My blood's fine. Monday.

I'm going Monday. Monday, I'm going. I'm psyching myself up. I'm going to get my blood work. Slush, I've got to do this fucking blood work. They take like eight goddamn vials of my blood intravenously, and I'm a pussy about that stuff. I pass out.

I get lightheaded. I can feel it squirting out of me. It makes a noise. When my blood is coming out with such force, and it hits the vial, you can hear it go. It makes this gross noise. And all that's in my head. Blood pressure is 220 over 180.

My blood is purple. My blood is so goddamn dark. It is dark purple. It is so dark. Just so many red blood cells in there. Me and Lance Armstrong. It's thick like gravy. That's the problem.

Thick like gravy. But I mean, think of all the free calories you get. Is that because you have one testicle like it? No, it's because of the six-time Tour de France champions. Yeah, that makes sense. Actually, he's not six times i took away his uh his rewards they did six times i think part of the testosterone or something else makes you create more red blood cells so i do have to give blood on a like i do it often every

three months or so and i usually pass out doing that um because i've just got too many red blood cells it's too many my blood Does it feel bad to pass out? Or is it like, it's not a pleasant, like you're high, like you're a little woozy. So here's the thing. Have a good sleep. I've done enough drugs and been like overly high so many times that I've kind of mastered that fearfulness that comes along with being completely out of control of your body. And it's a safe place to be where you're giving blood. You're lying down on a table, at least the place I go to.

You lie down at a fucking church gym where the Red Cross sets up. I give to the Red Cross. And so I don't mind passing out there. I let her know. I'm like, I'm just going to let you know. 80% chance I'm getting woozy. 50% chance I black out woozy. 50% chance I black out unconscious,

like sleeping and snoring. I might pass that. Oh, sure you will. She thinks I'm going to get lightheaded and be like, oh my. No, I'm going down, bitch. I'm going down. You got to stop going to the Red Cross. That's not where you give blood, bro.

No? Tell me where. Blood Connection. Red Cross is a charity. After you give blood, they say thank you. Blood Connection is a business. They're making money off your fucking blood. After you give blood, they're like, hey, you want some free movie tickets,

Amazon gift cards? Here's a towel. Can I just chew it a free t-shirt? Actually, I lied. I've been selling my blood to X-Jaws for years. He's got this van that goes from college to college, and it's called the Vamp Squad. They all dress up with capes.

Dude, this is a great business idea. Write this down, Taylor. You do the whole thing vampire-themed. The doctors are wearing capes, and you buy blood, and you only do it at night because they're drinking. Yes, I like it. Yes. Hey, you need $50 to hit the bar? capes and you buy blood and you only do it at night because they're drinking. Yes, I like it. Yes.

Hey, you got $50 to hit the bar. Come over here. It's not good for a market. People don't like to get blood at night. People like to drink at night and they need bar money. We're getting and added like. Yeah. How about this?

Start taking blood off 21 year olds. They're already pissed. They're probably just going to end up dying this way. She would at the start of the night be like, like hey you normally take six drinks to get smashed it'll take you three if you get blood first and save some drinks now you're saving money and we price our blood collection slightly less than whatever three drinks is at the closest bar and our customers get the added benefit of getting a little tipsy when they get their transfusion. Yes. I don't know about the vampire angle.

I am. I'm trying to backwards work out a way so that Blood Brothers can be the name of the company. I want nurses with fangs and like 1950s nurses outfits. Big tits. Yeah. Like I want them to look

like the brides of Dracula from you know when Keanu was they were all like jumping all over him in the bed one of them is played by Monica Bellucci like top three women of all time that I'd like to fuck Monica Bellucci huge fan

but she's like crawling all up between Keanu's legs with her vampire teeth about to suck the blood out of his cock it's a good scene and then two more wh the blood out of his cock. It's a good scene. And then two more whores come out of nowhere and then Dracula shows up and he's like, he's mine! And they all are like, ah! And he's about to pimp slap them.

And they back down. They're like, sorry, daddy. And he's like, it's alright, hoes. And he produces a human baby, an infant, which he then tosses to them and they rip apart and devour. Now that's, of course, her in her late 40s or so monica blue is top all time yeah yeah yeah i mean i mean prime monica belucci you know right right i can belucci prime i googled her i saw some pictures she she was super hot just a little surprised that's the bullseye i'll tell you who it actually is it's fucking um

selma hayek i like selma hayekek a lot, but it's not her. I gotta Google it because I'm spacing out on her name. It's the chick from... It's a movie. I can guess it. Not Dead Till Dawn, which is where I thought you were going to go. All right, everybody name movies.

Titanic. Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings. Gladiator. Just take movies. Titanic. Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings. Gladiator. Just take movies at random. Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer Connelly. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Show us OG Jennifer Connelly.

Because I think Is she the bathing suit scene in that? She has a completely nude beach scene where she's like she shows a little back burger and she shows uh full full boobs um big fan of jennifer connelly um she's still attractive she's on that snow piercer tv show which i am um awaiting the this is like pedo jennifer connelly she's a little too young here honestly like like she could be 14 there for all i know i think she's

one of those chicks who was like way too attractive, way too early. No, it's like in the nineties, they had like 45 year olds playing high school kids though. You never know how old they are. You have to know her. And then, um,

from the movie, uh, yeah, this is her like not too long ago. And then, um, from princess bride, uh,

it's where she's her most beautiful, but, um, you know, she's the wife from a house of cards. Her name's escaped me right now, beautiful, but she's the wife from House of Cards. Her name's escaping me right now, but that's also an all-time great pretty lady. I don't know her name,

but you're talking about the short-haired wife. Yeah, I think very classy. Yeah, the first lady. Yeah, but show me her from Princess Bride. That's when she's like 22. I bet she has like... Although this is a testament to how beautiful she was. She's when she's like 22. I bet she has seen... Although this is a testament to how beautiful she was.

She's like 50s now. Yeah. Have you said Requiem for a Dream? Of course. Yeah. I recognize their face. I'm like, where do I know her from? And then in my head... Ass to ass! I started chanting ass to ass. That's very well.

She's a good pick. What were we talking about before this? That's the worst picture from the whole guy. This is when she's a peasant in the beginning. In the first five minutes. She becomes a princess. She's gorgeous. She's so fucking hot. I can't hide that.

I like the first picture more than that one. Carrie Ewells might be prettier than her, though, right? I think so. That's a good looking man. I've always liked his mustache. I think he's a higher tier of man than she is of woman. I don't know. They're both top tier.

They should have bred. They should have bred to make even better actors. I think they do in the movie. If you were going to draw teeth, you wouldn't draw them as perfectly as hers are. Yeah, well, she's an actress. I'm sure they're veneers. No, they look the same in the fucking 80s. That's what you asked for.

Here's a picture of me 40 years ago. I want you to make it glaring. I want everyone to go, look at those new teeth. I'm just saying, she's no Steve Buscemi. She's got like perfect aesthetic going on there. True. And Steve Buscemi is only like ugly compared to attractive actor people.

Bullshit. Steve Buscemi's a ghoul. Like if you saw him out at Walmart or out in the mountains, I don't think so. I mean, I'd get his autograph and kiss his ass and beg him to just acknowledge me. I wouldn't dare take a picture of him, though. I know he's uncomfortable with it. He doesn't want his photo taken.

How could he? You're not taking a photo meanly of him. He's never been attractive. Do you remember how he was described in the script, the screenplay of Fargo? She's like, I don't know. He's funny looking. What do you mean funny looking?

I don't know. Just funny looking. Funny looking how? She can't even put her finger on how weird he is and what it is about him. His eyes stick out too far. He's all bug-eyed. He's got those crazy teeth.

He's got a real angular, diamond-shaped face. He's got a great voice. Triangle face. I maintain that. Odd fellow. If you're thin, you're pretty face. I maintain that. If you're thin, you're pretty handsome. That typically happens. You get a lot of definition in your face. A lot of good shit happens.

Steve Buscemi breaks the mold. He is thin and ugly. That is incredibly talented and one of my favorite characters anymore. People just go and get it fixed. I got lost. Being that ugly.

It's like back in the 20s, you could walk down the street and you'd see some motherfucker and it's like that dude looks like all he does every day is just get punched in the face. You don't see people like that nowadays. I think you don't see people like that.

It's possible that you rub elbows with a finer class of individual than we do no no no not that doesn't sound right you don't say like insanely fucked up people when's the last time you went to a walmart or a dmv or the state of west virginia or the city of boston no dmV is an even better poll than Walmart. Like, the DMV is, you feel like a guilt by association in there, almost. Where it's like, I'm this guy. Don't go early, either. Go when the people showed up, like, at noon to the DMV.

The early morning, those are go-getters. I got shit to do today. Go to the people who showed up at noon. Go see those people. The procrastinators? Oh, that's me. I'm hanging out there. I mean, there's a couple different groups that those folk are cut from,

but by and large, it's a shit show there. And you'll always see my local DMV, to give it credit. Man, it's kind of like an airport vibe, like really high ceilings, lots of AC and tvs playing the news and then the same seats you see in airports um and it's really big so they go at a decent speed but i when i was getting my motorcycle license done a year or two ago there was a shouting match while i was there like the guy in front of me was shouting and that is so a yield sign like My sample size is pretty small, but

dude, I've been here 10 minutes and somebody's already screamed and stormed out. Before I did streaming, I used to work for the Department of Human Services in Australia. So we hand out the social security benefits and stuff like that

in Australia. I had worked in some of the offices and uh and seen some i've seen some some pretty fucking wild shit like dmv level shit these are like people that are coming in like they're at the worst time of their life and they they come in i worked in this this office once and this motherfucker came in and it was like like fucking 30 degrees uh outside higher than that like 35 so we're talking like 110 it's fucking cooking and uh it's 110 fahrenheit and this motherfucker comes in and drops his pants and just shits in the floor in the middle of this fucking like this office thing like this is like this is the kind of

shit that you're dealing with literal shit and did you help him out? did you get him going with his new license? I just left, I'm like fuck this is my out have y'all ever seen someone shit in public? me and Woody have yeah well

I saw that no thank god I don't want to see that we did that thing where you go back to back in a denny's parking lot and it's a race to see who finishes first and stands up and the other one falls in the shit no no we crab walked out of there like the exit we were like laterally like um when it actually was and woody cocked his head so maybe he wasn't either there or doesn't recall but we were in la for e3 maybe or maybe um like some award show or something but we saw a black homeless lady shit against the wall of our hotel like not exactly our hotel but like the hotel had this wall that extended down the street

attached to the hotel and she was shitting against that. She was close enough that a lady who worked at the hotel, lovely lady, was like, get on out of here. You can't be shitting against our wall. Get you. I think the lady called her an Uncle Tom or something of the like. Yeah, I do remember now.

Called her a house ninja or something. I don't know why. I don't know why. I've heard about it in San Francisco. LA is a place that I could just never visit again and be happy. I have no desire to go back there.

It's such a shithole. You don't want to go poop on the historic wall? Nah. See, when I went there, maybe I'll just live in like this fucking like oyster of of happy australian get everything socialism for free but when i went there because like we have we have homeless people in australia obviously and um you see

the homeless people in australia and they sort of well they're just like me like they look they look scummy and they've just got out of bed which they don't have a bed when you go to america like i didn't expect like these like the homeless people look like the fucking serfs at the start of monty python like they're just like covered in mud and shit and they're like fucked up on heroin you don't really see a lot of homeless people like that in australia and i just wasn't ready for that level of like fucked up oh yeah and i'm walking through this place i'm like this is a fucking third world country like yeah i've never seen shit like you're used to the homeless being like oh man that guy's down on his luck and then you come to la and there's just a guy gibbering at you under his breath like crazy walking around like

walking along the hollywood stars and seeing this like this motherfucker just lying on the side of the road and he was just wearing like shit stained underwear and that's it and then he was like he was just sitting there and he was obviously begging for change but like clearly this guy had done like just like mountains of heroin like he was fucked and he was like laying on the side of the road and the only thing he was doing was just that that was his he's begging he was just like moving his hand i'm like that dude is so fucked like this yeah a little effort do a dance i'm not i'm not i'm not touching anything that he in the future is gonna touch i might get like fucking retrospective aids man

you're all right i got ten dollars you want to wrestle no hey how much would you suck a dick for you know it's just like yeah i was i was not ready for that maybe i might be i'm just sheltered but i i was like if i give this guy money you'll have no dignity i make him earn it yes oh yeah it's it's normal to walk around homeless people behaving that way and have a feeling of, well, this is off-putting and not normal. When it's a crazy person, it's like, I don't know what that person's going to do. Then they're clearly insane because they are gibbering to themselves

at the corner of the street where the Blues game is played. Someone needs to take this guy and take him somewhere else. Like just put him, put him, open the asylums back up and put that guy in their care. So he's not. I used to live next to like some Vincent DePaul's thing. I don't know if you guys have this in America,

but it's like a, like a homeless shelter thing. So I live next door to it and I'd like help homeless people out. It's like a charity. And we'd live next door to it and i'd like help homeless people out for it's like a charity and uh we'd live next to it and we'd have like homeless people coming in and out all the time and we never had anyone that was on like that level and so i'm like maybe i'm just like small town vibes i'm just completely missing out on that but it was just so shocking i was like holy fuck this place sucks what the fuck are all these people moving here because they want to be a star they want to be a big star on youtube on the on the little

screen so yeah i can miss me with that fuck that not to mention though like i rocked up and i got to i was like first place we stayed like near Venice Beach, and I drove from the airport to Venice Beach, got lunch there, and then within 30 seconds of getting out of the car, I had some homeless dude harassing me for money in not a very kind way. And he was extremely large and extremely aggressive. And I'm like, I'm good. I'm fucking out of here.

Fuck this. Out of here quickly. He might get stabbed with a hepatitis stained needle. I don't think we talked about it last week. Did y'all see that young gentleman who got caught leaking all that

classified government information? He was sharing it on Discord and fucking Steam. Steam? Yes, this guy's like a 22-year-old fucking Air National Guardsman, and he's a fucking gamer.

Just wanted to let you know, this is a wonderful mod, by the way. He was sharing classified information about the whole Ukraine thing and some other stuff. What was it? It was analysis about the Ukrainian army,

about losses, about Russia, and how the war is going. It was a lot having to do with them running out of air defense weaponry soon, like now. Assuming they haven't been supplied, they were to run out in mid-April.

Yeah, lots of stuff that you wouldn't want everyone to know. Anyway, they fucking... I'll be honest, I didn't search it out because I didn't want to google classified document leaks

I don't know how much was revealed about it but it was quite a bit of stuff it's all out there now I just thought it was funny that he was clearly cut from the same cloth as some of our associates like he's on discord he's in minecraft servers

they were like he's part of he's in minecraft servers and fucking like they were like he's part of a discord group full of racist memes and minecraft and i'm like that's like all of them basically the guy was in part of shit posting culture and he was releasing classified documents about the ukraine war in an effort to increase the clout he has amongst 15 and 17 year olds so he's like you know like he don't know shit about shit and he's just producing document he worked in it in the air national reserve so he's a reservist he's not actual air force he's a reserve and uh but he worked in it and when you work in it a lot of times you have access to fucking everything. Otherwise, you can't do your job. And they trusted the wrong dude.

Yeah. So now he's probably going to jail forever, I would imagine. Marjorie Taylor Greene supported him. She was gathering? Well, I guess we can't support, what's that other guy? Edward Snowden. Marjorie Taylor Greene is crazy like a fox. She's playing her goddamn character.

Look at me. every time someone links me they're like can you believe what this person said you look at the bottom at the analytics for that tweet and it's like I think they knew what they were doing when they said that ridiculous thing they knew 1.3 million people were going to retweet it

did you see Keemstar's tweet it's a picture of Boogie being offered alcohol. And he goes, Boogie's been an AA for 20 years. I bullied him into having a drink. And it's like... And it was like a million retweets or something

crazy. Like the analytics at the bottom of the tweet were wild. I saw it. I found it on a little subreddit called I am a total piece of shit. And on there, of course, because it's Reddit, they blurred out a little strip of Boogie's face and

all of the text in the top that indicates who tweeted it and the word Boogie. But, you know, you can't blur this man's face and I know who that is. That's what made me laugh about you sending the picture to me is that But, you know, you can't blur this man's face, and I know who that is. Oh, yeah. You put that bar over his eyes. That's what made me laugh about you sending the picture to me, is that little bar.

Who's that? Pokemon! That's a boogie. Boogie! He's shaped like this. And, like, of course that got a bunch of attention. Like, obviously not true. Like, boogie is not an alcoholic.

Like I'm pretty sure his, his vice is snacks and food. Like, like Kyle and I were talking about this, like when it came up in our, we were gaming, we were like, if he was an alcoholic,

we would have known like, because look at his self-control regarding food. And if that were extended to alcohol, you'd think he would have had a 20-year under wraps. Maybe Keem's playing with his chest and he's helping Boogie. Only these who he played lost a lot of weight. Maybe Boogie could follow in his footsteps

to help. My guess, knowing nothing, is that Boogie might have been an alcoholic and he might have been an AA for 20 years, but Keem is just, again, trying to hype the fight. I didn't see Boogie drinking alcohol out of a fucking bottle that he broke the seal on until I did. Wings will crystal light

some shit on you, right? You don't know what's going on. He did the same thing and had a fun tweet with Wings. He went to Wings' house and he took a 12-pack of Pepsi and put it in Wings' refrigerator. Then he can have a little video where he goes,

opens the fridge, motherfucker! He's got it. It's funny. The idea is to try to hype the fight and make the fight happen, which I still hope happens. It would be neat predicting it won't happen.

That's my prediction. If I had to bet. If I had to bet. I still owe you $5. I haven't forgotten. I couldn't log into my PayPal. I know it's the same password as my YouTube. What are our bets on the presidential election? Is it $100?

Do we have $200 bets? Do you remember? I don't remember um i usually lean on you know some somebody in the audience who watches every episode or like or whatever to to keep us honest um i don't remember exactly what we said because i know i've made a bunch of bets and i've changed it's not that i've changed from you know altered things but i've made different specific bets about the election. Exactly. Sometimes I'm like, I may have bet that he'll win the primary, that he'll be the candidate rather. Um,

I may have bet that Biden won't run. I think I've made that bet with some people that it'll be someone else, not Biden. I've made a bunch of little bets like that. So I don't know what I'm what bets one is trump wins the primary which today it looks like you're gonna win two is that trump wins the election which i still feel confident about but we'll see yeah so so i have helping keeping up in this didn't i didn't i arrest that motherfucker or some shit oh they did they had weeks ago keep up it only helped in the polls

amongst the kinds of people that like Trump. Wow. Alright. When they arrested him, don't imagine that they threw him in a cell and kept him. No, no, no. He's rich. You don't do that. Also, the crime that he committed

is a silly one that's not a real crime. He conducted some private business with a public business account, basically. It's not fucking Watergate. The AI pictures were funny. Did you see the one of Trump in his orange jumpsuit with

the sleeves cut off? Flexing and gang-related tattoos. Very funny. Oh, I'm glad you brought that up um trump was at the ufc thing a while back with tyson and everybody we talked about that but um i can't remember who it was they had a trump shirt on and it was like trump's head on a muscular body all tatted up with like trump sayings and trump was like totally liked his shirt i love that i love that trump knows about the memes that that he's aware of them, because that just makes it so much better to me that he knows all about the Rambo thing.

The ones where he NFTs about it. Yeah. Yeah. But I know he he'll do it again. Involvement at the ground level of the NFTs. I would is is just I can't imagine it's very involved. That's what they should have arrested him for. I would guess someone comes to him and they say,

sir, I've already sussed and vetted this business opportunity out for you because that's my job. Basically, you get 70% of the money. We're talking about $3 million. Sound good? What are you selling? Pokemon cards of you. Oh, those were big in the 90s yeah do it

and they do it and they send him his 70 of the money and that's his total and oh yeah by the way sir three tweets got it well let's write them now and like put them on the time so they ought to i don't think that yeah i don't think anyone thought trump was like i've got a great idea team nfts like although i do think the guy if there's ever a guy who who would who as a president or a politician could just have his mind changed about something and just alter directions it'd be him you know like he would never see a modern politician have their mind changed at a debate i'd be blown away if if i saw joe biden and trump debating and trump was like well that's not true joe that blah blah blah that's not how he anything he would ever say but if joe went you know what you're right i'm gonna change my stance on that

i'm with you on that one oh that would win a lot of brownie points with me it's like really you're with him yeah i would like to see a politician say i have been presented with different evidence and now i've changed my mind but yeah like the chance of that happening is just like so fucking remote like surely they're just every single politician would just dig their heels and be like now we're gonna argue harder that's yeah they'd be like you don't understand i'm not sincerely arguing from a point of of my true beliefs i am arguing for a narrative of the team i'm on it's like yeah yeah like you think they're like up there like really beating their heart like oh this is what i believe like no there's kind of a reason they're not supposed to change their opinion though because it's a representative democracy right so if i vote

for you knowing that you promised to do x and then suddenly after i voted for you and you promised to do x you're like you know what i learned some. I don't believe in X anymore. I'm like, the fuck? That's why I voted for you. I'm never voting for you again, you flip-flopper. I don't like that, though. I don't like that we should vote for some puppet. I would love it. Again, I've been watching the West Wing, so I've got this idealistic view

of the presidency this week. But there's many times where in that show it's like, yeah, I was elected to do this, but that's not what's right. That's not what's right today. And there's a real effort in that show to do the right thing. School prayer is like what's going on in the show right now. And I'm against organized school prayer, I would say. But as I'm watching the show, I start thinking in my head to myself what and and the other people in there what what in what situation would i go the other way and i remembered growing

up playing sports how we'd always pray that nobody got hurt at the beginning before the game we'd all take a knee in a huddle um around the coach and um you know he it's you know lord jesus christ watch over these children while they while they you know have fun taking, you know, Lord Jesus Christ, watch over these children while they, while they, you know, have fun taking, taking part in the, the joys of the, I think there's something in the Bible about being about going and doing sporting things and like enjoying your, the physicality of life or something.

He, you know, he quotes a little verse there. He's like, like as, as we fulfill the promise we make to you every day to look, you know, and,

and we're all like, yeah, amen. Let's not get hurt. You know, we're not like, yeah, amen. Let's not get hurt. We're not like, Lord Jesus Christ, please strike down the Blue Jays. Them little sons of bitches and their coach Rodney, who's a fucking cheater at poker.

Lord, may that bus careen into a valley on the way to the game. And we can take our children to state. And sure enough, in the show they they come to that the an appointee for an education position high up in the government um she had had students arrested who were trying to pray at a football game um and there they are handcuffed on their knees trying to pray one's in a band uniform the other is black and this is how this is how the guy's laying it out he's like he's holding it up he's like one of them's in a band uniform the other one's black do you know what this looks like he's like the police officer is resting his hand on his nightstick and the guy goes well maybe he

was just tired yeah i'm sure that that'll that'll was just, no, he's ready to whack a kid if he needs to because they're praying and he's enforcing the law. Yeah, and in that instance, it's like, damn. But then the guy comes back, right? He's like, I'm just trying to help that 14-year-old who's required by law to be there. And he's the outsider if he doesn't take part. And the guy who's speaking is

jewish and it's like yeah damn that would suck if you were jewish or whatever those extra holidays though it's a big deal because think about it i don't get to take off for fucking uh what's the name of a big wait wait wait taylor taylor you're not a make-believe Jew? You're not doing corporate America correctly. That's what I need to do. Everyone, every time Hanukkah season, shalom! Oh, yeah. I'm a make-believe Jew who takes second-hand smokers' breaks. I get jittery if I'm not next to smokers every hour.

Dude, that shit's not fair. It's like, okay, everyone gets off for Christmas, but I don't get fucking Rosh Hashanah? I don't get to double dip a little bit? Not fair. Bigotry. I've got some Bible trivia for you. Do you know what it means to speak Shibboleth? Shibboleth?

Shibboleth. Why would I ask you to speak Shibboleth to me? Why would that come into play? Why would I ask you to speak shibboleth to me? Why would that come into play? So in the Bible, the Israelites were at war with their enemies across the River Jordan. And at night, you would call out to a person moving. We don't have flashlights.

Speak shibboleth and pass or whatever. And I guess the people on the other side had a lisp. They would say shibboleth. And that was a key part of one of the episodes. I love that fucking show. It's from 2000. So it's pretty interesting to see. Is it still West Wing? Yeah, nothing has changed.

The only thing that's different is gay marriage. Like they got that one. Everything else is the same shit. They're still arguing about which gun to ban. Yeah, they're still arguing about which gun to ban. They're still arguing about which gun to ban. They were arguing about, what was it? A lot of gay rights stuff. We got through that

hurdle. We might be going back though. We never know. Time is a fat circle. We can only hope. Trump 2024. And 2028. If he doesn't win in 2024, he'll try again at the... What will it be? 84.

When you get to the third sequel, you do something kind of weird. You're like, Trump forever. It's like Trump, the number four, and then ever on the fourth one. But that's the first one where they have to recast Trump because he's like, I'm over this stupid sci-fi original series. He's Max Super Trump. Yeah, only way I can win this election would be Futurama. It's like Nixon on a big robot.

The Biden AI voice. The Biden AI voice. Have you guys seen at all this thing Sam Hyde is doing? Yes. This fishtank.live. So, Slush, are you familiar with this? So you know who Sam Hyde is, obviously. And do you?

No. No. That's surprising. He's like an internet kind of, like a Wings of Redemption style character. We kind of know of him, even if you don't know him. Show him the picture of the school shooter picture. Yeah.

He's a comedian who made like a funny show with some other guys million dollar extreme and now he's he's doing like an online reality show thing called fish tank at fish tank dot live is the site and you have to go and like make a little account and it is a like panel like a heads-up display where you can click like camp bedroom one bedroom 2 bedroom 3 bedroom 4 upstairs hallway downstairs hallway kitchen living room garage bed like everywhere except for the bathrooms in

the house and that's Sam Hyde it is the it is so like it's hard to watch sometimes because it's so fucking uncomfortable because what you're used to with reality shows is 100 hundred percent scripted and because all of them are scripted and there's reasons that like they hot like they'll be like

did you know that steve from big brother used to do doritos commercials before that it's like yeah yeah they hire actors who can like do that kind of thing sam very clearly got a bunch of unhinged people together. And from what I can tell, there's one guy named Vance who's a very normal guy, and he's in this house with a bunch of other strange individuals. And it is... I can't... And there's text-to-speech in every room

from Sam Hyde's fans. And so you can just be sitting in bedroom one trying to sleep. You're on camera and people can pay to have shit spoken out loud to you. And this is on his website, fishtank.live. This isn't on YouTube or something. There were tens of thousands of people watching. A lot more ghosts. Yeah, there was, apparently there were 50.

Yeah, a shit ton of people watching this and can i can i say one of the things that and you texted me this this was the one that that i thought was pretty wild i saw the one instance where he was burning their food like they had pizza and he was just burning it on the eye not only to ruin the food but to make a smelly mess of smoke but then he had two bags of rice i believe one was basmati rice and the other was uh jasmine jasmine rice um very similar long grain rices one's a bit more brownish toasted than the other though slightly one's tote one is mauve you know what i mean he dumps them out on the floor and tells them to separate them one girl got to over 1 300 grains of rice before it was time to stop and i don't think there was

any reward at all what the reward was he was like so what he did he had these bags with half basmati rice and half jasmine rice in it and fish tank live banned by google well let's see hopefully that's hopefully that's not the case i don't know what's been going for the past a few hours on that stream but i looked i noticed the site's down oh damn like like that's ridiculous hopefully it get it back up but it is it is the it is so fucking surreal because like there's one dude on there who has a really bad oh i'm sorry i was explaining to you that so the rice thing he did he took half jasmine half basmati in a bag and then just dumped him around and told him first person to count all the jasmine grains not the basmati grains wins a thousand dollars and second

prize gets barbecue wings tomorrow and they spent a long time counting i guess and then at the end at four in the morning he's like you all have essays two in the morning to present and uh i guess someone you know on the the lispy guy won the challenge or whatever or second place the wings but he apparently spread some information that was not privy to the other contestants and so the next morning sam comes in and is like john you won second place look at these wings look at these wings delicious barbecue wings but guess what you're a fucking snitch. You don't get any wings. And then to everyone else, he's like opening the other wing box. He's like, who wants wings?

And there's like five seconds of baffled silence of people not understanding what he's doing. He will randomly barge in and sneak upstairs and fuck with their stuff and mess with them. The one guy with the list,

he's just messing with people. I'm getting agita, stress watching it because I'm imagining myself in that house with those people with Sam Hyde's audience text to speeching me for six weeks. I would rather be lost at sea. I would rather be in a realistic, like a realistic saw situation. I'd like to play a game with that little puppet before I would rather go into this house because as soon as last night, I guess the text to speech thing wasn't working.

And I just so happened to pop in last night late, uh, like midnight to see what was going on and i guess that's when text-to-speech started working the most ruthless brutal mean-spirited text speeches i have ever heard like they are just bullying the shit out of this dude with like a severe speech impediment making like just and knowing sam at least one of these people is a plant. Someone has to be in there to make sure that it doesn't become boring. And maybe I'm sleuthing where there's nothing to sleuth. But you know when you hear an adult who has a speech impediment, if they were to say the word error, it would be very different than a four-year-old with a speech impediment it'd

be like error like it'd be like a little off as an adult like they would have worked through it this guy when he says a woe like it is literally for like four-year-old level of that and so it's like it's almost i feel like i'm being mean but i also like, I think he's laying it on too thick. Am I looking into something that's not there? I don't know. Yeah. But, yeah, it's like if I could see that. Like in 2005 or something, like around in the early 2000s, they had, no, no, no, not Big Brother.

They had a house where everyone in it was an actor, and then there was one dude. was called the joe schmo show and one dude was a real guy and so they put him into this house and it was like a big brother style house except everyone except for this one dude was an actor and so they were just like i think they set out with the intention of just like making a buckwit out of this guy and then like as the seasons went on it's sort of like the audience just like grew to love him he was just like the most genuine gun on the planet and he was just like super nice and then it was just like everyone just ended up loving this dude so they were like oh fuck we can't like fuck with this dude anymore so we're gonna start being nice to him but

like they started out just doing like fuck shit to him and then uh and then they sort of like turned it and they were like yeah no he's a he's a hero like it was weird ass yeah well is daniel the one you think is the plant no i think it's uh i don't know the plant the john is the one with the speech impediment that i feel like is daniel i don't know i i guess i haven't watched as much as a lot of people i like i've been popping John is the one with the speech impediment that I feel like is... Damiel? I don't know. I haven't watched as much as a lot of people. I've been popping in and out or seeing highlights on YouTube to see what's going on. It is...

I did see... So many of these people in that house are just fucking bizarre. I did see that Damiel guy, the clip on YouTube where he just was walking upstairs and he's like, I'm going to pull a prank. I'm going to shit and not flush. And it was like, like oh that is a pretty good prank i guess pretty gross like yeah actually no that's not a prank that's disgusting like what are you what are you doing like that okay maybe that's just your sense of humor but it's it's one of those things that like i popped in last night at like midnight and listened to probably 25 minutes of the most ruthless super

chat like uh i've ever heard like coming through the speaker and just like watching some of these people like become dejected, just getting insulted by it. Like I had to like I would I'd close it because I'd be like, oh, I would see like the because you see what's written that's going to be set over the speaker probably 10 seconds before it actually set over the speaker. And it was like, I'd see something like so ruthless about the speech impediment guy that I'd be like, I can't even, I gotta, I gotta leave this for a second and then come back a little later and see,

see what's going on. Cause it is like, I literally saw it. Like if I, if I saw that like speech impediment guy walking towards that house, if I was in the neighborhood and i knew what was to come i'd be like your buddy like like just so you like just so you know like were you were you told like what's gonna happen to you in there like in texas speech can be in a four

hour stream six weeks of it would be in right how do you deal with that at all like if if i had i've had some like pretty insane text-to-speech stuff on stream before like i actually got banned from twitch because someone was just like spamming the most fuck shit and i was like fuck this guy so i opened up my paypal and i got his fucking shipping address from my paypal which is like his home address and i just fucking put it in my twitch chat because i was like fuck this like he's being like super racist and shit and i'm just like ah fuck this dickhead and so i put his uh i put his name and address on out the ether and uh like a ban from twitch for a week for only a week for doxing him yeah like fuck you man no he fucking deserved it fuck him don't fuck with my boy slush he for doxing him yeah like fuck you man no he fucking deserved it fuck him

don't fuck with my boy slush he'll dox yeah yeah he'll he'll celebrate he'll just relax for a week mission accomplished yeah i yeah i didn't give a shit i came back i had more viewers than ever everyone was like yay that was cool and i'm like i didn't come back and shit that was cool fucking dressed up as jesus i was like, resurrection of slush. I like that. Is that the longest you've ever... I compared myself to Jesus. You should. He's a

carpenter. You're bearded. He's bearded. Was bearded. Well, not R.I.P. actually. That's a huge part of the story. Definitely no R.I.P. for Jesus. Yeah. It's integral. I couldn't deal with that like not in the house like just constantly that'd be fucked how many people are in the house risen in peace eight eight people are in the house eight people and it is i can't like it it's so surreal like it is a a total answer like you know how you'll hear people be like why don't

they just use real people in reality shows like this is why like shows would not work unless you got like contractual like commercial actors and shit are people at least i'll be back monday like what's gonna be back monday uh false alarm turns out the hosting cost is 30k every three days not every month and my bank account is drained we'll restore asap but the asap is money signs um but this might take till monday at elon musk can i hold a couple hundred thou for a sec yeah elon kwan get on it so he organized this shit and he didn't check how much it costs to host the service uh that seems like a bit of a major oversight oh it's actually 10 times that 10 000 a day to host it that doesn't make sense how you know that you know more about that shit

why couldn't he done a live stream on fall on youtube no because there is no way they would allow this shit on youtube no is. Is it that bad? Because YouTube allows a lot. Yes. It's one of the meanest things I've seen. It is brutal. A lot of gamer words, huh? It's not at all... It's not Sam

and his team that makes that situation so awful if you were in it. It's six weeks of text to speech six weeks of text to speech from sam hyde's fan base like do you think you're gonna get any sleep like you think someone's gonna pay to have your bed stolen someone's gonna pay to have the thermostat turned up to 95 like it's and you're gonna be in there sweating with a bunch of people you don't know i guess you could say that about like any audience so like i i love a lot of guys that watch me but if i had like any one of them come to my house uninvited i'd be like fuck this like i don't i

i don't want this cut in my personal space audiences are really sweet people who wish me well Really sweet people who wish me well. Real sweet kids. I've heard that. I haven't checked, but I've heard. Every now and then a major video game will ban the clan tag RSK and it's just, it hurts.

Every time it happens. I'm pretty sure Kyle. It's because they're the best gamers. It's because they win too much. Kyle, I have a movie that you may not have seen that's very good. Have you seen Phenomenon? Yeah, of course, with your boy, the dancing queen, John Travolta. It's a terrible movie.

The problem is this. Phenomenon is about this bartender named John Travolta. That's how creative they got. They didn't give him a character. And he plays a character named John Travolta. Yeah, John Travolta. No, no. But he's suddenly stricken with these powers,

these telekinetic powers and multiple things. He gets these powers. He becomes a genius. He becomes a genius as well. And there's this wonderment factor. It's one of those things where it's like, is this of the medical realm or is this a miracle? And then we get toward the end and they let you know because he dies of a brain tumor.

It was the brain tumor poking on some other part of his brain and making him do math real good. That's all. Not God. And it's like, whoa, you ruined the movie with that ending you're supposed to i disagree so he's an every man but he's really nice like like that guy guy scush slash describe the most genuine good guy and he gets really really smart some people get alienated by that because now he's just on a whole nother level they're not getting it he's

he's the world's best doctor at this point he's the world's best attorney he's the world's best everything he's smarter than the internet is and prior to the internet and uh yeah encyclopedia britannica say that again if you want to yeah he's smarter than the encyclopedia uh it is i really like the movie it's been a while since I've seen it I would watch that but I just can't buy John Travolta as a smart guy

let me give you a better movie then could you buy John Travolta as a fucking archangel who likes pussy it's parallel to Michael it's just as good I'm down for that Michael is a movie as as Woody just said, with John Travolta, where he plays the Archangel

Michael. And he has come to Earth. An old woman, her farm is being taken by the bank. And she prays enough that God sends the Archangel Michael to handle her foreclosure. And he literally

smites a bank. And so, but now he's here. He's a money changer, doesn't he? Yeah. Money changer! That's very in line.

Jesus hated money changing. He threw an absolute fit over it. But now he's down on earth, right? And he's going to hang around and enjoy a little earth time.

He loves pussy. And he loves battle. He's always talking about battle. So what happens is these tabloid reporters from New York, you know, there's New York intellectual types, both of them, at least three of them, come out there to do the story on the tabloid of Michael. They show up, and he takes his trench coat

off and he has angel fucking wings growing out of his back so like right away there's no oh is he really an angel or is it a brain tumor it's like he has wings they can fly closely and they yeah they're touching them and shit they this man the cover for this movie is unhinged who took that photo and thought it looked good they go to a bar my favorite scene in the movie they go to a bar and michael goes over there and hits the jukebox and starts dancing with his trench coat and you kind of see the wings like like swaying up under his coat a little bit but john travolta is an excellent dancer of course so anytime you can get him to dance in a movie they do it and he's like giving off some sort of alpha male sex stink.

And every woman in the bar, as he's doing his dance moves, it's like he's hitting them with a little sexiness because they'll go, oh. And they'll like get up from their table and leave their man and go into like a, now they can dance. And before long. We're in an angel stupor. They're debating what he smells like. They're like, is it cookies? Is it roasted marshmallows? What does he smell like?

Yeah. And so like, he's in the middle of the dance floor. And there's every woman in the bar is dancing up on him and with him. And they're all over him. And of course, this alienates every man in the bar so then he has to fight them all in like a big brawl and he's Michael so he defeats them all

and then he goes out in the field he leaves and they're like where'd he go and they go outside and he's in a field squaring off with a bull they're both kicking the dirt and looking at the bull snorts, Michael snorts and they take off running at each

other and they get a wide shot of this and they headbutt each other and the bull is defeated this sounds awful it's a good movie both phenomenon's good too i'm surprised kyle didn't like it i thought he would but i mean mean, he dies at the end of fucking brain cancer. It's a bit of a downer in my household. Will Smith dies at the end of Seven, maybe? I am legend. Okay, well that's a whole different... Seven is this dark

thriller where we're always like, oh, this is so... Everything you look at is dirty, repulsive. It rains the whole movie except for the end. Is it called Seven Pounds? Just Seven. Seven is the one with morgan freeman and brad pitt and then at the end and then it's like it's your wife's head obviously does that we are talking about i'm talking about the one where he kind of does kind things all movie long oh eight and a half pounds or something.

Or seven and a half pounds. That's the Will Smith movie. I did say Will Smith. Oh, I'm sorry. I think I called seven and a half pounds seven and messed it up. But yeah, I jumped right on the seven train.

No, those are all good films except for phenomenon. And I just don't, I love the movie. I just don't like the ending that they didn't leave it ambiguous. Like, like leave it ambiguous. So we don't know the ending that they didn't leave it ambiguous. Leave it ambiguous so we don't know brain tumor or God Almighty.

You could argue that God was supercharging him up, giving him this six-week lifespan so he could do all that good. In that way, he's a saint. All that good, attacking people and harming your family. You're conflating the two movies, Phenomenon and Michael. Yeah, I'm talking about the

brain tumor that kills the guy and not God souping him up to do good. A lot of his friends alienated him because he became really smart, but not one. His true friend stuck by him, and he left his friend a parting note on a better formula for fertilizer so he could become a successful farmer. It was a pretty good little parting note.

Talking about the brain injury stuff, have we ever talked about Phineas Gage? Why don't I know this? You can pull up a picture, Zach. Phineas Gage, he was a railway worker that had a tie embedded into his, or a railroad spike, rather, embedded into his head,

and it totally like remapped his entire person like he no like apparently he was like a funny joke around like I think I think this is the story like a lighthearted kind of guy had brain damage and suddenly it was like not even like the ability to comprehend humor

like like not see that bar he's holding understands I went through his head yeah that went up through his head. Yeah. That went up into his head. And punctured and destroyed part of his brain. And then it totally changed him as a person. Then he became a lawman. And he dispensed justice with the rod of justice, as he called it.

The thing about taking out the left parietal lobe is his strength and nerve system are completely uncapped. So despite being a man of 150 pounds of the time, that was about average, he was able to lift, they say, 400, 500 pounds. He became a superhero. Yes, this is true.

He just ran around stabbing people with a rod. He beat them with that rod the rod of justice to judge dread this is a movie that i would watch but it's this but it is half to a true story which became two different movies the movie is called walking tall and it's a it's a true story of sheriff pusser worst name ever. They changed it in the movie, who dispensed justice with a big lot. He was apparently an actual mountain of a man, and he would beat people senseless with a big 4x4 post in his county,

and he cleaned it out of organized crime. The Rock played him in 2005. Damn. With Johnny Knoxville there for comedic relief, because there was a part where they torture The Rock with a box cutter. So you need Johnny Knoxville there to give you some laughs after watching that. Oh, man. We didn't know The Rock ever got tortured.

Is that the one where he refuses to use a gun at walking toe? Yeah, he goes to reach for the gun because he's ex-military, and he's going to take on a bunch of guys. But he's like, no, and he grabs this big 4x4 post, and he beats the shit out of them and they have a big court trial about it and he defends himself and in front of the jury he takes his shirt off and shows where they tortured him and cut him all up with a box cutter and they're like i'll make if you make if you find me innocent i will run for sheriff i will become sheriff and

i'll make sure that this never happens again. And the jury goes, the next thing they're like, not guilty. And he's walking out and he goes, this is mine. And he takes the big four by four posts that he'd beaten all those men out of. And the next time you see it, he's fashioned it like Homer Simpson into a wonder,

bad of sorts. into a wonder bat of sorts. And the rest of the movie, he's just beating people to put this giant club that's the rock size now. No, that's not a... When I say good movie, I mean different things.

This is like a silly popcorn movie that I watched in 2005, but it's a rock movie. The true story, though. Old Sheriff Pusser. Apparently a badass. I bet you wouldn't laugh at his face.

Of course not. He'd shoot you. That's not the Old West. I imagined it happening in the 60s. Could you show us a picture of the real Sheriff Pusser, Zach? There's only one, right? There's only one photo of him? No, I'm saying there's only one Sheriff Pusser

out there in the world. Probably. Or maybe he comes from a long line. Maybe they're just a long line of... Men have been in law enforcement since time immemorial. As Tony Soprano would say. Since time... It's time immemorial. No, time immemorial. That's what he would say.

Yeah. Oh, fucking Pauly. Pauly. R.I.P. R.I.P. All those... That Sheriff Pusser? Oh, fucking Paulie. Paulie. R.I.P. R.I.P. to poor Paulie. All those... That Sheriff Pusser? He does look tough. This is the kind of ugly

that you don't see anymore. Oh my god. He looks like a rock man. Insurance covers that. That's his real club that he beats people with. He looks like a fucking golem. He looks like a sloth from the Goonies. What happened to him?

Why does he look that way? His teeth are so small. Well, he's like scarred. It looks like his face has been broken on the right side. Yeah. I mean, I believe that he was tough. That's a lot of hair. He did that to his face.

Yeah. Oh, there's the... Oh, no, never mind. I was like, that's him pre-injury. Oh. I'm looking at the wrong guy. He's a handsome man. Oh, that's just another ugly fellow.

That's just a different man. A sensually ugly man. Well, they look very similar. That guy in the sheriff's outfit he's like trim but then his head is just like weirdly fat compared to his body well sometimes that's a body type

that's fair that's very common athletic body type you see it in alpha males mostly you see it in stigma badasses. Most titans of industry. Yeah, they call it titan's cheeks. Just the big, fast, goofy cheeks.

We should make that a thing. Man. Wow. Wait, was that him at the end? Yeah. With the bat? See, he got his face fixed. That's what I'm saying.

I think he was taking a pitch from the other side. He's a guy that should have always been standing kind of whatever side was his good side. Neither. Do you have a good side, Slush, one that you show to the camera? I have no idea. I'll figure it out. I've never really looked

at myself that much, to be honest. Yeah. Sometimes... Do you have a good side, Taylor? My sides are the same. You're perfectly symmetrical? No, but I don't have a preference. I don't really know. Kyle, do you think you have a better side?

One side's better than the other? Yeah. I'm behind. Looking up is my best side. That fucking cake. That's when I'm most confident in my jawline when I'm going I don't listen to like new hip hop I certainly don't listen to like lady hip hop

or whatever you call it when black ladies talk dirty but I heard that AI had made Drake sing a dirty song that a lady sings. And again, so I look it up. I'm like, Drake singing. This song is called Munch. And it's this very

large-ass rapper lady just wanting you to eat her ass. And that's all she's singing about the whole song. And she's really shaking her gigantic ass at you the whole time it's a wonderful piece of art but then making and it's good drake is suing drake's mad he's trying to shut the shit down because his voice um i don't know uh but but the thing is like internet thing is, when we hear the AI versions of us, I'm like, oh yeah, their cadence isn't exactly right. You're real close, but

when you make it a song, all that gets filled in. It sort of bondos and putties and fiberglasses up all those middle weird areas. They do that to modern music and all music anyway with effects. It just sounds like Dre wants you to eat that big old booty.

And I think I like his version better than hers. I play his version. I want to hear him sing it, but I want to look at her butt. Oh, is her butt good? It depends on what your version of a good butt is. Derek made the point that he wants an ass so that when the young lady bends over,

he's able to see her vagina and her asshole. Like it shouldn't be obscured by a lot of cheeks. However, some people would like a big old thing that they can sort of get a bit of, you know how like an ass can get like its own motion to it, where when you let go go it just keeps going like a waterbed this is her yeah oh i think a little more ass than you would like so here's the deal that's not my bullseye but i can see how it would be somebody's yeah i'm all about that look like i i wouldn't say that that's oh that's my thing that exactly but yeah i like that big gigantic ass i'm just happy

to be involved but yeah just enjoy you don't need to write a song for me to eat your ass that's all i'm saying yeah i'm the fucking i'll take what i can get i mean yeah uh but but i i love i love the ai stuff and i love that for now it's to some extent being used for silly fun things yeah um i talked to class last night you know class is a programmer he's kiwi guy um smart young man well to do and he's like hey i was taking over so much of my work i don't do anything anymore or whatever he sounds like it's not like that though i really struggle with his accent a kiwi thing because he's got sort of sort of a deep voice but it's got any who he said the ai thing's doing most of his work for him now he's like i don't know i don't think about computer programming like i'm sure if he

told you you'd be like oh yeah that and this and the other but i think he does like real computer programming for like a big firm and so to hear that a big part of his job is now just, Hey, let me easy button that for you, which is basically what the AI is. Yeah. I, um,

it definitely works. Like you can, you can use it to make shit really quickly. Like it depends though. Cause like if you're trying to make something that's really unique, it's hard to get it to do that. But if you like, it definitely

takes like the the mundane shit out of coding it's good i just really heard that but i don't know enough about it other than what people i mean i trust the people who've told me like yeah obviously it's working they still have jobs it's getting done like the work's getting done of probably similar quality right yeah you wouldn't think like the first thing that ai would take away would be computer programming it was like in your mind you're like that well that's coded by a computer like is that the final frontier of the thing that it can conquer like uh coding itself and then it's just like immediately does it it's like oh yeah well it is a computer it loves it it gets it yeah its ability to write a story

or summarize a story and just instantly create cliffs cliff notes uh is there has never been anything like that like like that instantaneous ability to own a on this whole other level have every book and all the knowledge about it i asked it to i said a couple times i asked it to summarize um the old man in the sea but i'm like but i'm i gave it hurdles i was like four different styles three different paragraphs each paragraph and it did it like it could jump through all my little hurdles i didn't even know there were that many writing styles it was it was uh really impressive i can if i have had that in school would have been oh i got a thing so i have a friend he's a computer programmer but not just that he's a very good computer programmer

very rich man i don't want to a real miles dyson yeah you want to it's about you wanting to suck him off again yeah so um anyway he. Reference Taylor again. Yeah. So anyway, he has this thing. I apologize if I've said this before, but I have an infamous question I ask all my prospective developers. How would you write the most efficient route for finding the median of a list of random numbers? I ask this because it's not a cookbook routine that's normally taught or even one that you can Google. I had to solve this problem myself so I know the best answer, parenthetically, according to me. I asked this

just to see how they would attack the problem they don't already know how to solve. The second best answer I ever got was from a technical writing candidate. She said she could code so I tested her. The best answer I got was from chat GPT. It was off on the original solution sort first, but I nudged it a bit to consider a binary search and it found the answer. So he was impressed with chat GPT's code. As an assistant, it seems incredible. That's like,

it doesn't take over. Although it might feel that way. If you're already proficient in a field, though, being able to ask that question, you're like, ah, I had to nudge it into the binary direction. I don't know how to nudge it in the binary direction because I don't know what that fucking means. I mean, I know what binary means, but not in this application.

I don't know what any of that shit means. Oh, is direction confusing you? I think that's going to be the case. A lot of programmers and stuff wouldn't even bother using it because like it can if you're not a programmer it's like okay so can you set up a c class for me that's that's done this so that's fine like you can you can get all like the base code to have a class and stuff like that and set it all up and grab all the right libraries and shit but a programmer that is working in that environment is like they they can just copy paste that from somewhere else like they have that like at the go so i don't

really need it like it's maybe for like some kind of uh ridiculous as as you said like sorting problem you could like you could get it to do that but like most people don't really program in languages that are down to like that nitty-gritty like most people just use javascript and shit like that and like easier stuff that's on a high level and it's sort of it just does that automatically but if you're trying to like eek every bit of performance out of like c coding then maybe you could use it but at the same time it's like most of these problems have already been solved and if you're use it. But at the same time, it's like most of these problems have already been solved. And if you're doing that, you already know all the solutions.

So it's kind of, I don't code anymore. So I'm curious as to how helpful it would have been for me. Like so much of the code relied on fucking knowing like the, the schema for a database that I was using. How do you give it all that data so that it can write code that, that works appropriately? You know,

so much of it is knowing the machines and how things worked at Cisco. For example, I don't know how it would help if I told it, Hey, I need some code that validates an email address. Validating an email address is harder than you might guess on the surface. And I imagine it can do that well but i bet i could google it just as quickly i don't need ai for that well that's like because i've i've done stuff

where i've had like uh inputs like input sanitation uh uh sanitization before and so you want to take out all of it like a whole slew of shit like yeah you want to take out stuff no single quotes no yeah sql injection and all that kind of crap and uh that's fine it's like yeah that could probably write that for you but also like i have that just sitting there like i have found i've googled that solution before because i'm lazy like every programmer is i'm just gonna stack overflow and there is some motherfucker that's like a million times smarter than me that has gone through and written like this page of code that does a perfect email sanitization and i just use that like it's the easiest fucking thing in

the world you don't really need it but it's like it's cool to see that it can answer the questions but i don't think it would be super helpful in like very specific applications maybe if you're a new programmer the people who are i don't know how much you code. I don't really code much at all anymore. Not so much lately. I programmed my automatic fish feeder this month. I haven't been coding at all. It's interesting to me that you would even want an automatic feeder. I would assume that feeding them is part of the fun.

I guess there's sometimes when you do both. I'm training the fish to eat off the feeder so that I can leave the house I need the tank to be okay so I can go away for weekends makes sense and then no one has to look after your fish for you

I love the picture of Jackie lazing those sea anemones or whatever the fuck you're lazing in there. It's lovely. You're just standing there, no glasses. I got no glasses. No, but you need some.

Yeah, I didn't have any. I sent the commercial to the WhatsApp earlier. Did you watch it, Woody? It was an ad for the Russian army. Yes, I did watch that. I wish we could show it it's fucking wild it's uh it keep it shows men in day-to-day occupations and lifestyles one guy's working out it's like you know in russian of course russian text and language and uh it's um it's like is this is this

what you're getting strong for is this real strength? And then it shows the weightlifter all of a sudden in uniform, and he's got a gun. And then it's like, is this what drives you? And the guy's driving a cab. He's a cabbie. And then all of a sudden he's in uniform driving, I don't know, a tank or some shit. And they do that for three different just regular dudes

trying to live their lives. And at the end it says, you're a man. Be a man. A real man. and it's like fuck better on a young russian like if you're a 22 year old russian like full of machismo like that ad will hit i mean and that's like like that's like the most common propaganda ever during a war is like you need more men. And so you socially shame and try and, oh, you're lesser than.

Oh, look at this Russian guy trying to live his life and make money driving a cab for his family. Pussy, go fight and die. It's like, well, that's absurd. There's an oligarch that needs a cement factory in Ukraine. Like optically, as an outsider watching that, it's like. What will he do with that lime deposits? You make propaganda in the furtherance of something that's not currently happening to the, like, to what you want. And so clearly they're not getting fuck all as far as like voluntary recruitment and so you

need to do this other ham-handed like you pussy fight for someone's interests who don't align with your like dude it is a rough to pay in i don't see a lot of russians like eating three squares on a naval ship just like you know barely involved in the war launching some artillery from afar no this is world war one shit trench warfare yeah it's brutal yeah it's sort of it doesn't look like it's sort of like degraded into that like stalemate but it feels like it's starting to like get to that point and like you look at like uh well in some places you see like but you know like how like you see like pictures of world war one and it's just like a a trench line that's just completely obliterated there's just all there is mud it's like it's it's you can still see like grass and stuff like that

but i think it's starting to get there like because you look at like the pictures of buck moat and it's just like completely leveled and then there's just like fucking like craters and he leveled it every winter mr president this is an insane way to run the country please don't make us rebuild all the cities for spring because it puts smile on your face building jobs jobs to build us so I hear what Kyle's saying it'll green up but what I agree specifically like grass but it

just like it looks like it's starting to get to that point where it's about to just grind to a halt in specific places let me comment on this one like I've seen this I've seen fields where where a tank is driving through and there are, I don't know what to call it, a pockmark from a previous

crater from artillery that's hit already. 150 of them have fired at this spot before. There's a bunch of burnt out hulks of I call everything a tank because they look like tanks to me, but of tank and tank-like

things. Actually, it's a BTR. That's an armored personnel carrier with a long nose. You're all wrong. You don't know a tank? I don't. They're scattered all over the place. Hulks, which are basically

caskets because there's dead people in there. And now it's your turn to go through this artillery fire. And it's like, gosh, darn, we've been fighting in the same place all winter long. And it looks like hell. Having said that, I talked maybe three weeks ago about the Ukrainian counteroffensive. And I was like, everyone knows this is coming. I can tell you what they're going to do. They're going to go south of Bakhmut, try to get across to the Caspian Sea, perhaps,

and the land bridge that Russia has on its way to Crimea. Dude, fucking Uber drivers, people who get your ice cream for Uber Eats know the Ukrainian counteroffensive is coming and what the plan is. There's no secrets. And then the Ukrainian minister of defense said the counteroffensive has begun. Are we engaging in war where secrets are gone where people like you just can't keep a secret anymore because there's so many drones and so many satellites and so much surveillance that the secrets are gone i think this is like the first war that's just like completely, completely live-streamed. Yeah, right.

That's what's fucking weird about it. Like, there's never... I don't think there's ever been anything like this. Like, because that, like, Vietnam was, like, the first, like, war where they had, like, fuckloads of reporters there, and then it just lost, like, all public interest almost immediately. But this one's, like, a widely Western-supported, and they completely live-streamed. It's, like, it's a very weird, like, and they completely live streamed.

It's very weird. It's unprecedented, I think. If they were actually live streaming it, I would watch. During the first Gulf invasion, they did. There were reporters who had complete faith in the accuracy of American long range missiles, and they would just watch them take out the targets that they were going for, filming it. accuracy of american long-range missiles and they would just watch them take out the targets that

they were going for filming it and it was blowing our minds in like 1991 or whatever that was now my goodness every soldier has like a cell phone that gives away their position and a gopro and they're just like filming their trench warfare and i see it on reddit and i see it on youtube and yeah and then of course there's the general troop movements and the maps that track everything they'll tell you which divisions are where especially on the russian side because people don't like them so yeah they'll keep a ukrainian secret a little bit but the russian ones they're like this is where the wagner forces are this is where the airborne are replacing them i where the airborne replacing them I'll just say

it's crazy to watch and the Ukrainian counter offensive seems to have just begun we'll see yeah it's like the playoffs are coming it's my third favorite sport it's my third favorite sport please tell me baseball is not ahead of war no

it is by a bit no I think no MMA it's always been mma and women's beach volleyball solid choices yeah i think mma mma only three sports because uh it has better marketing if mma didn't have the marketing uh if you put all the mma marketing onto the Ukraine war, I think I would never take it. Sunday, pay-per-view. Brought to you by Modelo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

See the Ukrainian shorts. Pay-per-view. Get on there. This Reebok uniform is chiff. Jake Paul's gonna fight a starved Wagner fucking. You listen to me, Vladimir Putin. Yeah, yeah. That's all I'm going to say.

Get that really hopped out. That would help. Harley's going to box a Russian. How about some monster trucks in the war? That'd get my attention. Solid. Monster trucks? Dude, how effective would a...

Alright, just hear me out for a second. Okay. Let's say tomorrow, Russians wake up, they hear a roar over the hillside, right? We've been fighting for days. We know where they are. They know where we are. Drones are always overhead, exploding. Artillery fire is constant. The only reprieve is the

short bits of sleep that we can manage between the explosions that kill our friends left and right. But we hear this roar and we look. What is that? That's not a tank. No, it's all that smoke around and fire. It's Grave Digger. It's Grave Digger.

It's Grave Digger. Grave Digger was the one. I want to play John Cena's song. It's Grave Digger coming over the front lines. One move. Pouched on the top of tanks. I swear to God, the tanks are completely unharmed. I swear to God, Gravedigger would make it through the trench easily. It would hit it and bounce

and fly and that thing. How far behind... How far into Russian lines do you think Greg Fickle can go? I have a great idea. You should do this. I want Photoshop of it going over a

line of Russians and they're crouching in terror. Jumping like a fucking T-34 or whatever. Donald Trump in the seat. This is revolutionizing the way Americans with shotguns in World War I. Monster trucks. They're too bouncy to hit.

I don't think that's true. I listened to a podcast about monster trucks the other day, and there's one thing that would hold it back. Really? Seriously, I listened to this. It was just this random fucking podcast about how monster trucks. So I listened to this it was just this like random fucking podcast about like how monster trucks so i listened to this like how stuff works thing because it just like fills my head with the general knowledge that gives me dopamine so i can just like tell my

friends random facts about shit and pretend i'm smart yeah you know that yeah but uh yeah so at least uh so i listened to this monster truck one and they're talking about like how many miles per gallon this like fucking grave digger gets and it was just like abysmal like this thing could drive like fucking 200 meters and then it's like out of gas so i bet it gets less than five miles per gallon yeah i think it's i think it's like measured in in yards yeah sure what kind of what kind of a drive train does grave digger have zach let's break it down i'd like to know how many horsepower but this is the thing they have different grave diggers so like it's not it's not the same one me no it's not the same one so they just like plastic shells so there's like fuck loads of these monster trucks and they tour them

around and they have them everywhere but they just have this plastic shell of grave digger that's just like we could have a squadron you could have your own fucking grave digger if you wanted so we put a dozen grave diggers out there we mount 50 caliber machine guns to the hoods yeah that's pretty cool saying um they'd all die in a technical though? Yeah, that's called when you jerry-rig a vehicle up to... What?

No, because sometimes instead of saying jerry-rig, I say jury-rig because that's a thing in Fallout. It's a perk. Ah, you're rigging the jury. Makes sense. Were you guys excited?

I don't know if Slush experienced this, but I know Kyle's similar enough in age. He definitely did. Do you remember being excited by the monster truck commercials on the weekend? I remember seeing those and being, yeah, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Pay for the the whole seat but you'll only need the edge yeah and it's like i have seen them before i was so excited like as like a five-year-old watching because you know i guess i guess it was because i was

at the same time at like like tonka trucks and all that. Seeing a truck that big jump in a pit was like, like, what? This is a machine? I wanted to see the mechanical dinosaur eat the junked cars. Yeah, that thing's neat. I forgot about that. Didn't ever actually eat it, just crushed it. Disappointing. Unless you digest it

and poop it, I'm not interested. That's what I wanted to see. Have you ever seen a junkyard magnet one of the like from the cartoons that you can the electromagnet junkyard wars they used it breaking bad in person though not in person oh they're pretty cool i went to a lot of junkyards over the years to procure cars and other things to shoot and blow up and uh what is that that's the that's the dinosaur that eats the cars. God damn, that's cool.

It's like Photoshopped. Like the Ferrari is like Photoshopped. Yeah, the Ferrari is not really there. I don't think. Or the flames. I think the flames are real. I'm disappointed that it's still on the tractor trailer, it seems. I think that's just the way it is. I think it has wheels. I think that's just the way i think it has wheels

i think that's his legs honestly we can do uh hell this was cool a long time ago we can do a lot better than this now this isn't that good of a robot it looks like the fucking power rangers like came together and made a zord this is so cool yeah you have like youtube videos make robots better than this taylor are you accustomed to better are eating robots i don't mean to be spoiled but i would prefer a little effort a little digestion 40 feet tall look at that you think those teeth can actually sever that and that is real fire it needs a conveyor belt that eats the car and like just puts out car bits from the back i would like that if it had that threshing thing where like with the gears that turn together yeah i think or you know what like it destroys it and then it like

poops out like uh one of those heavy cubes i like watching those uh those thresher things just like oh what's it is that gonna stop it that's never gonna stop it oh oh my god in an eden entire the bowling ball's bouncing it'll never fall now it has a chip out of it there's a vulnerability of the sphere dude a thresher like because my grandparents are farmers like in their circle like having fingers ripped off by like a thresher because they're like in their late 70s and like farming in the 60s or 50s or whatever like everyone just knows multiple people that had their like fingers right in your teenage years just to write a picture my uh my great grandpa when uh he had uh which fingers were yeah it was half of this finger and half half of the ring and

the middle like no no it was half of the pointer and half of the middle he was uh he got his hand caught in a thresher and it tore off half of both of his fingers there and i remember as obviously it happened way before i was around because i was a child. And I remember always seeing his fucked up hand and just being like, what the hell? Why doesn't he have fingernails or anything else? I want to know what is inside the thresher that makes these 50s farmers just act like a magpie and try and get it. Is there farmer catnip in there? It must be. Or it's just farming equipment made in the early 30s.

They were like, of course, this is the iron spinner. You hold it here and it spins rapidly. If we keep the threshing device close to your face, you can keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get jammed. Don't wear glasses. it impedes your view like yeah i guess just back then like yeah i still remember i haven't he died so long ago i hadn't thought about his missing fucking fingers yeah that was that was a long time ago that would suck those are two important ones no grand yeah those are two man no grandfathers for me my uh my mother's father

died of cancer early he couldn't kick cancer's ass like me and uh my father's father ran away he was bad guy uh ran away did the did you ever catch him like did your your father ever find out where he went they looked him up like uh i guess they felt like he they never got divorced he just left and and the that's the like where his story kind of ends and they're like you know we might have like social security as his surviving family that we're entitled to because they were you know married on paper and such uh but he was still alive that's like where my knowledge of the whole thing ends i'm sure he's dead now huh that's always so strange i have a family member who was uh driving home from work one day and she uh she looked at the at the car yard as she was driving past it she was like that's my fucking car and like when she went in there and she's like that is my car like same

rego same everything and uh talks to the guy and she and the guy's like, that is my car. Like, same rego, same everything. And talks to the guy and the guy's like, yeah, some guy came in. He had the papers for it and everything. Sold it to me today. And she's like, okay, gets back home. And her husband just fucking sold the car and just disappeared. Oh, no. He was fucking gone.

You can do that? You didn't even take the car to disappear? Like, back in my grandfather's day, if you didn't even take that anymore like back in my grandfather's day if you didn't want to be married and with kids and anymore you could just not just he just left i don't know how far you went like 17 miles you could you could you could be like ah damn this life i have in naperville it would be better if I moved to Ogdenville and I'd never see these people again. What are they going to do? Look me up in the phone book.

I don't live there anymore. I ran away. This could take forever. You can't find me. A lot of shitty dads then where they're just like, I guess that's why you did it. I'm going out for cigarettes. And then you're just like, no, I'm'm out i'm going to california i'm going i'm going 30 miles away 30 miles that takes minutes that's that's the thing apparently he moved and it's like a

it's like an hour flight away like someone live on an island obviously can't i mean he could drive it if you catch the boat but like this is it's like an hour flight away and this guy just bailed there like that's that's where they think he moved to and then i my family was like yeah we think you have another family of this like he always used to like disappear and be like yeah i'm gone to work for like a week and it was like blatantly obvious that he was just going somewhere else and yeah it's like you're a mailman like yeah yeah where you going yeah they just bounce and then you just ended up bouncing for good it was it was fucking weird scumbag liar and deceit oh you're how can you still can you still do that in modern times you just bounce no i think they quickly find you and like what is it called they don't sequester your wages.

What is the term? Garnish. Garnish. That's what I'm looking for. Thank you. Yeah, they'd look you up and garnish your wages. They'd be like, we recognized your face near a pizza hut in Albany. It's like, fuck, they got me.

I jaywalked and the Chinese technology flagged me down. Some red light cameras making you pay child support now. Now you have to get like Facebook. Takeoplicity or Wi-Fi and they found you. Maybe you could become a migrant worker and work for cash only just to spite her. You know what you do? You just pay it forward. You illegally immigrate to Canada.

Just moving on. How aggressive are they about throwing us out? I don't think they can, dude. Physically or... How aggressive are they about throwing us out? I don't think they can, dude. They don't have guns. Physically or... The whole country has guns. Their cops don't even have guns.

That would be fucking awesome. Imagine if... Imagine if Justice Udo continues his anti-gun policy to the point where he literally disarms all of Canada. Zero fucking guns. They never have a school shooting again. But then the next year, literally disarms all of Canada. Like, zero fucking guns. They never have a school shooting again. But then the next year, we just straight up

invade them. Wait, we're bringing back to the walk of the sea. It's just the Mounties and the Canadian military standing between us and Quebec. Yeah, guess what? Canada's huge. Another 50 states. Even 100.

How about that? You're being fooled by that mercator projection it's not that big i want to sell puerto rico everyone knows that you want to sell puerto yeah how much what do we get for it greenland just take it oh greenland obviously that's a trade that's a way bigger island and i've never been to either one but i don't even know how big greenland is the that fucking greater projection messes me up so bad i think it's the size of south fucking america dude i've almost i've like i've like over corrected myself with the mercator projection thing so like on that little map sometimes i'll be like yeah russia and then like drag it down and be like oh no it's enormous like yeah like

yeah russia's the biggest than canada than us do you know who the most populous is india now it's not china i think india either they just passed them or they're passing them this year it's something like that congrats we're talking about this the other day like how big australia is and uh someone's like oh yeah no it's it's tiny i'm like no it's like as it's like as big as america and they they're like oh no texas is bigger than australia and it's like there's a cattle ranch in australia that's like it's it's a comparable size to texas and it's like run by 12 dudes yeah it's australia is like huge fucking gigantic but when you look on the map it just looks fucking tiny. There's just not much usable space.

I mean, you could use it to store nuclear waste. I was going to imagine Australia, the motivation for Fallout. I'm really fascinated by abandoned town cities and places like that

where you go somewhere and oh my god like there's paved streets and and road signs and stuff but this place is deserted 100 percent um one of them is this asbestos mine out in the australian outback where obviously there came a time when we realized asbestos wasn't so great for you so we stopped mining for it um but the whole town's there that was built around the industry of the asbestos mine the same way that at the turn of the last couple two centuries ago you know the gold rush you would have um those encampments that would sprout up and then later on they'd become the cities that we know out west you know but but originally it was just a bunch

of miners and whores stopped there for for a week because it was convenient yeah it's neat like uh the blue sky mine i think it is i don't remember the name of it but if there's if it's an asbestos mine that's abandoned i don't know what this is oh yeah there you go that's what i found interesting all the homes did you go there kyle in australia oh i'm sorry i got a little messed up you know what zach wrote pennsylvania in the chat and i conflated the story yeah it's in uh it's in the pill borough region which is like in the middle of fucking nowhere but like that's in that's in western australia like western australia is so fucking massive like it's uh you could there'd be heaps of towns like that up there they just uh they just mind they go there

they just mind everything out and then they're just like no the next one there's some cool american towns that like just totally failed like they used to be mines and now they're just empty or towns that are so small or decrepit i think they're neat i think it's cool to visit when i when i go to a town and it's too small to support a gas station, I'm like, what? How do people live here? There's no grocery store. There's no gas station. How do you survive without the basics?

There's places where it's like there's just a quick stop and a Dollar General 28 miles down the road, the closest one. There's tons of driving through the south like even southern missouri like you go through a bunch of towns like that where it's like you blink and you're through it and it's like sometimes it's sad it's often sad because it's like you can tell there used to be like community there there you like people grew up there and like have fond memories of it and now it's like dilapidated and sad and and well they couldn't get any jobs so they obviously have to leave but yeah it's because the interstate system yeah there's a there's one near us that has like a uh there's like a whole bunch of houses and then it just has like a um it's like a gas

station sort of like stop uh has like food and stuff like that but it has they sell they have more ammunition on the on the shelves and they have food there because like heaps of people drive through there to their properties that are past there to go hunting so they sell more ammunition than they do food so it's like it's pretty funny to walk in there and it's like oh yeah just like three loaves of bread and then like 300 boxes of 223 it's funny like you forget as an american that in other countries they're like and you can go into this store that sells bread and they've got guns right there and you're like yeah what else like yeah i know it's called the con section dude like yeah that's where you go it says guns oh yeah i remember going to the gas

station as a kid funniest bit that there's just like there's less food than there is ammo there like it's good to be like this supermarket they don't want to sell food those guys are going hunting they want to eat yeah exactly they'll get their own food like i remember going to the gas station as a kid and and getting like little debbie snacks and a Coke and 22 bullets. Because we're driving down the road to where we've got some cattle property leased and there's going to be something to shoot. I remember stopping at those gas stations and I'd get

some kind of soda or sometimes a Yoo-Hoo if they had Yoo-Hoo. I'd get one of those dip things that had beef jerky in it and we'd get orange sporting clays and shells and then we'd go shoot clays that's a fun memory you can still do that in some parts in uh like where i live there's uh like that that specific shop like we drive we drive past that to go to my mate's uh sort of like lake housing where

we do like a lot of shooting and we'll just stop in there and just buy like fucking crates and crates of fucking uh 12 gauge and and like targets And then it's just all just sitting in there in the service station. Like people think it's like this thing. I don't think many people would go there. So they're like, Oh, that doesn't happen in Australia, but it does.

It's driving, driving out West through, through Texas and New Mexico, there would just be on the side of these lonely highways, a sort of makeshift shooting range and it was clear that there was enough use of this of people driving by like us that were like fuck it let's get out and shoot that it just got used all the time like i saw a map the other day it was the percentage of gun ownership per state like even in new york like it bottoms out at 10 i mean

there's no there's no states below 10 um and when you get down here and especially um georgia's not one of the most intense but the most intense places it's like 70 or above damn where are those households own a gun like most of the country. Oh yeah, I would imagine. The majority of states in the middle of the country, especially when you went out west where it's farms and police are so spread out. I think the Dakotas

maybe and Montana, they're like dark red where everybody's got a gun. Now that I'm thinking, it is kind of weird if someone just doesn't have a shotgun. We have 25% owners in australia that's much higher than what i thought that is good for you guys you need to get those numbers up well that's seeing a lot of people like and also like the amount like people that own guns usually own like a lot so it's like but it's yeah it's kind of weird because i always like i always get that

like people like oh you don't have any and then i like actually look at the stats and i'm like actually no we we're gonna do we got yeah we've got more than the uk like yeah you've only not got a lot compared to america and nobody has a lot compared to us like well exactly yeah like you can't you can't beat that people here love guns. Love them! Oh, that's not good. Minnesota's dragging our average down. Yeah, California's ruining the whole West as well. Illinois and Minnesota, you bastards.

And Michigan. What's the Missouri stat? The best state in the Midwest. There is a town here in North Atlanta called Kennesaw. Gun ownership there is mandatory. Really? Yeah. Do they have to

learn how to use it or is it just like, here you go, you're 18. You just have to have guns in the house and they can't be locked up. And if you don't abide, they will shoot you. And there's nothing you can do about it. Because can't be locked up. And if you don't abide, they will shoot you. And there's nothing you can do about it because, you know, your gun's locked up. They only shoot the non-gun owners.

Yeah, but it is mandatory. I always wondered about, what are they going to like, come around and check, see if I got one? Show me your gun! I don't have one. Well, come out with your hands up! That doesn't really make sense if you think it through, sir. I'm power tripping. up. That doesn't really make sense if you think it through, sir. Shut up.

I'm power tripping. You're arresting me for not owning a weapon, but you want me to move real slow in case I've got a weapon. Now do the hokey pokey and turn around, bitch. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. That cop that did that, I'm referencing the cop that had, this guy was drunk in a hotel hallway and the cops got him ar 15 point and he's giving him these weird directions and the drunk guy doesn't do it

just right and falls over because his shorts are falling down and dude kills him and uh it's brutal his gun said like i don't know lights out with a skull on it or something like that yeah it was like that officer ended up yeah get fucked or something on his gun that officer ended up get fucked or something on his gun that officer ended up getting I think counseling for the trauma that he suffered after killing that man and then I think he got retirement

I think he got like full retirement and everything cause you know he doesn't get half anymore cause killing that man in that hallway shook him up so much oh he's murdering that man in that hallway shook him up so much. Or murdering that man. If you can imagine just a drunk dude who's crawling on the ground and their, like, basketball shorts are falling off a little bit and the guy's like,

Crawl! No, get down! No, crawl! Now, on your knees! And, like, he's, like, going from prone to on his knees to sort of standing up a little, like, over and over because the cop's giving such sort of crawl towards me hands behind your head and crawl towards me it's like what are

you asking me to do like yeah that was awful which one do you want sir yeah that's crazy yeah I can't like think like if a guy was on his like pants around his ankles like laying on the fucking ground even if i didn't have a firearm i can't really think of any perceived threat there like

this guy's so fucking drunk like i could i could kill this man with my fists like yeah you could just like stay on the radio like a that call we got it's some drunk dummy laying in the middle of the hallway just cancel everything everything. This is ridiculous. Like, tell him to send. He vomited in the hallway. Tell him to send up a fucking maid. Yeah. That one never made sense to me.

I didn't understand, like, how. Why he had a rifle? And why is he pointing the rifle? And why is he screaming? It's like, this guy's drunk and goofy in the hallway. Yeah. I would have been like, sir. We had a few beverages tonight

yeah man that's that's it was that environment it was so crazy to see him kill that fucking guy it's like that uh that one where the dude was in the wheelchair with the knife it's like uh and they they shot him have you seen that one that one's like no man just walk up and switch off his phone it's like an electric wheelchair like this guy's like yeah just wait and they like oh hang on if he's in oh i did see that one i was okay with that yeah i i look i i yeah fuck it means a cripple he's like he was like fleeing the scene in his crip vehicle yeah but he's going like three kilometers an hour. Like, it's like... Yeah, American police officers are not built for speed or long distances. Yeah, but it's like, he could have just shot, like, the battery on the thing. But that's the same.

It's like saying, shoot the fucking... Shoot the fucking... What's his face? Shoot him in the leg. It's like, it's really hard, but it's like... Yeah, that was kind of weird. Taylor, did you know that Lord of the Rings has been re-released in theaters really not only that they've added new feature new scenes to the movie i swear to god like not at all don't know apparently it's like originally shot it's an

extended extended version they've got some new scenes and shit they've thrown in apparently it's like really well yeah from that that peter jackson shot with the original crew yes really yeah yeah somebody um um a girl i used to date who's like very as into lord of rings as you are um message me she's like so lord of the rings it's funny they added the new extended extended scenes. How much more? I don't know. I have no idea how long it is. I think Zach threw an article in there. I think I'm going to go watch. I'm impressed with this.

My phone was supposed to send me an alert. I have Google alert for Lord and Rings. My phone's always dying from spam it's a 260 did i did i see that right 260 minutes okay well what was the what's the original uh i think it's 221 or 222 minutes is the original extended right no no it's not that long i think it's just the extended edition in cinemas she said they added new scenes she said there were new extended extended scenes because she's seen the extended versions i'm sure 201 base i will i will be doing research on this and if they that seems too good

to be true there's additional scenes that they didn't put in the in the well i know for a fact i've sent you links to the additional scenes before and the art and the like photographs from the scenes um there's scenes like like after the battle it's like there's a lot of scenes of the the side characters sort of having that moment where they're like wow we just fought for the kingdom huh yeah what are you gonna do now and i think you get to see where legless going home to the woods and like on his knees in the woods praying or some shit you get to see gimli going back i think to the um and they're calling to mind that place maybe or at least he's with family or something like everybody gets there they keep going with that ending that goes on forever it's just too long sure yeah i don't care i don't mind too long because i know that was one story where I would have been fine with it

meandering forever because I wanted to keep living in the Lord of the Rings world. It was kind of taking the fucking shit after a while though, right? There's that part where it fades out and he wakes up in the bed again and it's like, yeah.

I might be wrong, but I think it fades to black and it comes back and then it fades to black and it comes back and then it fades to white and it comes back again. If they fade to chartreuse or something, you just kept getting it, but I didn't mind because it was all so well shot

and you felt like it was earned. It's like, yeah, we need a moment for Frodo to talk to Bilbo because they haven't had a talk in like 8 years or something and now they're going to the afterlife Extended Edition had 51 minutes of extra footage so it brought it to 4 hours

and 11 minutes so if it's whatever that is in I need to rewatch Extended again, I haven't been in like a year what's that in minutes? what's a metric hour? 251? So there's nine minutes of extra footage?

Yeah. You know their hours are shorter than ours. But that's because of the speed of the Earth. Yeah. Well, they've got 100 minutes in their hours. Zach, thank you for that reminder just now. 100 seconds in their minutes. You've been chit-chatting two and a half hours in.

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been sent maybe they don't have it i don't know i'll check and see why but i would anyway so yeah i know you need your you might be sold i know those are popular what he needs is fix and also this episode of pka brought to you by lock and Load. Lock and Load, the premium, premium ejaculation increasing serum that is going to help the way through science. Trust the science. Derek is a science man. Kyle and I, men of science. Do you know this?

This show is a show of science. I have a lab coat. I have a lab coat too. I also have one of those gynecological exam tables. No. We pretend to be gynecologists. We have lab. We are men of science.

I got more speculums than you've ever even seen. Yes. Code PKA or code jizz. And also, brand new energy drinks. Brand new energy drinks from Gorilla Mind. Kyle forgot to update his address with Derek again. And so- Not true. I again and so i told him you're missing out on these because i have i bet i have 60 cans of of gorilla mind energy you're supposed to be forwarding them on to us no they're mine they're delicious no i have it too i so so i'm setting up

this new tank and every time like a giant box that weighs a lot, I'm like, is it the protein skimmer? Could it be the UV light? What did I get? Is this something? And it's more energy drinks. I don't know. Taylor said he has 60 of them. I might be ahead of him.

Are they sugar-free? They're something free. The calories are either 5 or 10. Yeah, they're either 5 or 10 calories. I mean, they're made by Derek. I would love that. The highest of quality. Delicious flavor. The orange one

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notice anything just never buy it again i don't like my pre-cum being better than my cum used to be that's terrible yeah so so enhance your confidence with life of course our our patreon's link down there for 1010 to get the show early As soon as we throw it up on the internet Right after we record it You get to ask us some questions But I reserve the right to decide your questions Are fucking stupid sometimes

Because of your low IQs Where'd you get $10 son? That's your only money But that's me, I'm just teasing Or for $50 a month Not only do we get to hang out with us for a couple of hours, it gets weird and awkward because, you know, the tism.

And those are fun. Those are genuinely fun. But you get to jump over in our Discord over there where Taylor and I will berate you about your skills at Total Warhammer or I might call you poor based on your bad hardware. I think I said that last night.

I was like, Taylor, some of these people are stupid. Some of these people are too stupid to play the game. Okay? And some of these people are too fucking poor to play it, Taylor. Alright? That's what I'm going to say now. It's the trial of redemption. I think you should hope their parents are my dark rats.

Kyle is so upset. He really just wanted to play 1v1 and you know what's funny is after kyle and i started doing 1v1s i bet we banged out you know eight games and in an hour or so the whole evening like like i had a wonderful evening last night when we got off i went downstairs and i was like man that was so fun i really enjoy it even when i lose i've had a good i got a good time it's a bunch of fun um yeah i just um no i i got real mean and mad so if i if i did hurt any of y'all's feelings in there um and and i wouldn't be surprised if i did i am sorry um i i genuinely was cranky um most of what i said was what was true but but i there's this great scene i true, but there's this great scene

and there's this great scene in that what's the movie where the Christopher Nolan movie where he has to go to space Interstellar there's this great scene in Interstellar where the AI robot he's like, what's your honesty setting at?

80% let's bump it all up to 90. He says something way too mean. He's like, back it on down to 80. There's levels of honesty. How do I look in these pants? Terrible, you fat moron. Oh.

I need a little lie in my life. What's your humor setting on 90? Let's back it on down to 80 three explosion he goes explosion in three two one you want to try for 50 sorry it's uh the ai in that game and that movie was really cool and those robots were really cool they're they're like these cubes with like that sections come out of them. A good design. When it ran through the water carrying the lady.

Yeah, it was cool. No, it made a water wheel out of itself and was like propelling itself forward in this really unnatural kind of way. When it's going to get it, but when it's coming back, it's like galloping. It looks fucking dope.

Maybe so, yeah. That's a fun movie. I cry when he's reading his get it, but when it's coming back, it's like galloping. It looks fucking dumb. Maybe so, yeah. That's a fun movie. I cry when he's reading his voicemails or whatever. When he gets that voicemail from hell. You have 4,000 unread messages that are your life falling apart back home and your family giving it up on you.

That movie was shorter. Is it too long? That's a great movie. I think there's a part in the third act toward the very, very end that can be very confusing on your first watch. And you've already gone through over two hours of movie, so it can feel overly long. However, I watched it for the third time recently and and I knew that part was coming. coming and it's like when you watch it the second and third time you you know what's happening early in the movie is connected to what happens at the end of the movie because of the way time works and uh and it's a it doesn't feel as overly long but the first time through i i agreed with you

that and christopher nolan's sound mix is so bad that i'm like what the fuck are they saying what the fuck are they saying i put closed captions on everything now i thought it was because i was getting old but i don't i think that's only a contributing factor that's like when i watch uh that fucking interstellar in bed like you've gotta i'll put it on i'll be like yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna go to so i'll just watch this again and i'll fall asleep halfway through you have to have it up so loud uh to hear the voices that like the fucking christopher nolan fucking is just like fucking up your hearing it's like michael kane in particular he's got yes i'm coming up with a bit of science it's gonna be

and gravity is that way and the fuck is he talking about he's talking about some science gobbledygook, and he's already got the accent, and he's grumbling and mumbling. Yeah, the sound mix in his films is terrible. Now that I'm 50, I fake a hearing disorder all the fucking time. Like, I was at the pool place the other day, like, buying chemicals, and she's trying to tell me how much fucking calcium and salt to buy, but she's not looking at me.

And I'm like,'m sorry i'm i'm hard of hearing now you know can you make eye contact with me while we talk and uh you know the little like 21 years sure enough old man i'll tell you it's like but this is what i need talk to me don't don't look in the other direction while you talk to me i'm not getting it not did you give a good reason for how your hearing went like did you just vaguely mention the war? That's what I need to do. Absolutely. How many tank blasts? When it's someone

that's 21 years old, they have this weird concept of time and how tell her it was Vietnam and she'll believe you. I gotta give myself away. You know the long nosy thing on a tank? Oh, it's super loud. That was a long noser loser you're over 50 and you tell a 16 year old that you remember fighting with napoleon they'd be like yep that's that's fucking it when i was young young like

eight or something i figured out there were only like 40 presidents so far yeah and my parents were 40 and i was like oh so she was around for all of them i was like what was it like when lincoln was president because i think if she was a teenager and then and that's insulting so your mama immediately backhanded you that was a full baiting now on Simple as shit My mouth was so swollen she didn't understand what I'd said But yes if she heard my insult I'd have received quite a thrashing My mother just beat cancer She rang the bell and everything

Congratulations I'm sorry that she ever had it but it's wonderful She's a two time champion She's got this on lockdown I'm starting to think New Jersey might not be that healthy. Yeah. My brother's been cancer twice. I've once. Not sure about my dad.

It's hard being on the outside looking in. I hope I get cancer again. Yeah. You'll get your chance. I've been injecting myself with a lot of stuff, man. I don't know. I think it's going to help. I think if I got any little bit of cancer, it's gonna be like the macho man randy savage of cancer you know what i mean like let's pump it up i bet if that's one of the reasons i i would would not

have not do not do hgh human growth hormone is the potential for there being some tumor in your goddamn brain that otherwise would have said stayed tiny until the year 2037 when we've got a pill for that but instead you injected yourself with hgh and now instead of dealing it you're dealing with it next year because it's grown to it's been souped up just like you ah but you're not thinking it through your skull will be bigger making room for the tumor that's what joe rogan that's what happened to Joe Rogan. That is tumor. Swelling his head. That's what that is.

That makes sense. I was sitting there the other day in bed, and I was feeling my nuts, as you do, and I felt something on my balls, and I was like, I'm going to go to the doctor about that. So my doctor, he's the weirdest motherfucker you'll ever meet.

Like this dude, you'll go in there and he'll be like, do you want to hear a dirty joke? And then he'll just tell you something that's just like, wow, that was extremely racist. You're a medical doctor. But I go in there and I'm like, oh, I've got bad news. You're going to see some shit today. And he's like, oh, just tell me it's not asshole stuff. I hate looking at

asshole stuff. And I'm like, that's my balls. He's like, oh, that's fine. Nah, nah. It's not your asshole. I don't care, man. Jesus. I like you, doctor. Yeah, I like the honesty. Although, what if it had been your asshole? He's really setting you up for

failure. Here's my concern. What if it was your asshole, but you were so embarrassed by that, you're really he's really setting you up for failure like here's here's my concern what if it was your asshole but you were so embarrassed by that you're like ah no it's just uh i got a lot of wax spilled up in my ear just take a look yeah no i would have been like sucked in you get a look at my asshole too bad so wait i'm invested in this story how are your balls how's your balls oh it was fine it was uh so when you get a vasectomy they have uh like there's a pretty high chance that you uh like sperm gets your sperm gets released into the exterior area when they're sewing it up. And because it never comes in contact with your bloodstream, it's treated as a foreign body. So basically, your immune system just isolates it and calcifies it.

And so you can end up with a lump around your nuts from it around your nuts from it and it's gonna pop that out so do you need to ejaculate more or less like what's the prescription uh no no no it's because like the way like uh when they cut it it's like a little bit just sort of you can't sort of catch it all so it just sits in there and then it just calcifies but it's problem solved now he's not this isn't going to recur it's just now he's got a little instead of a kidney stone he's got a little scrotum stone down and yeah yeah i've got third lesser testicle you can uh i work with a guy who had some sort of issue it might have been a prostate issue or something but he wasn't jacking off enough. And he needed, like, basically the doctor prescribed that he ejaculates

more often, which is weird because he was an accountant and we all know they slay. But... I wonder if you kept introducing foreign bodies into the ball sack and then sealing it up. If you could do, like, a thing like

an oyster where you grow pearls. And do it on the dick though, right? So it pleases her? You can put ball bearings and shit in the dick? Well, yeah. You can get implants on your penis, but apparently if you put a foreign body in your scrotum and you take it down there,

it'll calcify it and turn it into a little pearl. Other people's sperm in there. Well, I suppose it still makes it into a little pearl other people's uh other people's sperm in there i was just like well i suppose it still makes it so i'm just like sperm well i mean it worked with that i don't want to be like hey you know what i'm gonna start putting tic tacs in there because i don't know what the fuck's gonna happen with that perfect but sperm is a proven one it's like that's gonna do exactly what tic tacs are minty they can't be dirty your body will attack the tic tac i promise you what if it dissolves the tic tac and then i end up with fresh breath forever

oh no oh i might have like minty jizz like oh okay now that is a fucking upgrade only there were a product to make your jizz and have a fruity delicious taste yeah yeah that was it yeah so this doctor like i'm sure you guys probably have heard about the trout video of the australian or you might not i watched it you watched it i thought of you yeah yeah it's funnily enough that woman actually works like down the road from where i live like seriously i know the lake i like her i know the lake where she was getting a trout put up anyway yeah i walk into this doctor and he's like the first thing he says to me he's like have you seen the video and i'm like what video and he's like the trout video and he's pulling out his phone like he's looking for it like he's gonna

show me this video i don't know his office i'm like i'm playing like 90 bucks for this appointment man i don't want to see that fucking video i'm like yes i've seen it he's like oh okay he puts his phone away i'm like i'm about to sit in the doctor's office and watch fucking animal porn with my doctor this fucking weird man yeah for the uninitiated um a gentleman um who sounds very much well frankly suspiciously like Slush Puppy, is inserting a trout into a woman on a boat on a lake. And they both sound just like Slush, to me, anyway. From where I am. Exactly.

And so their dirty talk is kind of funny to me because of the accent. And, of course, he's talking over the accent. And, uh, and of course, it's alive. It's alive as well. Um, so yeah, it's, uh, it's,

it's pretty funny. I saw it on Reddit. Um, it's a big months. Yeah. Yeah. And a while, but yeah,

I just, uh, remember that because of the, uh, the cancer thing. And then my doctor trying to shout out to me. I was, that's great.

Your doctor pulls out a fucking girl with a trout and her pussy shows it to shout at me i was that's great your doctor pulls out a fucking girl with a trout and her pussy shows it to you i don't i don't have that kind of relationship with my doctor unfortunately someday do you have a main doctor um yeah um i guess technically um the the guy that i video call with um um for all my TRT shit. I would say he's and then like back home, there's a guy that I sort of saw my whole life. And if I really needed something and I couldn't get an appointment to do something random here, although that's a lot easier to do after COVID, I would travel all the way back home to him because I know I could get an appointment that day.

But but now you can just get an app on your phone and find a doctor within hours it used to be such a struggle i remember before i this is the thing high schools to teach you how to get a goddamn doctor right along with like paying your taxes and everything else because i started googling i was like doctors in my area oh you're a dermatologist or like whatever and call them up and nobody has appointments for months and it's frustrating it's almost like what what do y'all have some kind of a fucking password or something what do you mean months

what do you mean hire another goddamn doctor but there aren't there aren't doctors who don't want like I don't understand it just seems like a problem that's so easily when I want to get my dog groomed they're like nothing's open bullshit yeah like what squeeze them in what's the fucking password i swear that's the thing with covid though like everyone

was at home they're like let's get a puppy and then it's just like now i can't get a fucking vet appointment maybe part of it there is there's probably a big uh i went in there to the vet with the new dog so i got i got a new dog and dog and the vet's like in there and he's like, he's telling me all this shit. He's like, so what you need to do to train it? And I've got my other dog who's two years old sitting there next to me. Motherfuckers like perfectly behave, like sitting there, just watching everything going on.

I'm like, I don't need pointers. Just check his balls, give him his shots and get me the fuck out of here. Like I don't need to train a fucking dog. I've got a trained dog sitting right next to me. I've got the Scottish Terrier, and then I've got a Shippakee, they're called. Shippakeed. Yeah. They look like a little fruit bat.

It's a very- Is it a fluffy little dog? Yeah, a little fluffy dog. Oh, good. Those are the best kind of dogs little fluffy dogs they're adorable i took uh i took my malamute to the vet for for an ear infection a couple months ago and they're like yeah we're gonna uh we're gonna take some samples and run some labs and i'm like no no i don't want to do that so now we need to find out what kind of antibiotics to use i'm like use the good ones he's like well we need to make sure that it's this i'm like just use the good ones what's most expensive well there's this and that and these two this one's this and this is that like but that's not really relevant i'm like yeah it is give me the good ones like i'm like you're

not sticking that q-tip in his ear because it's gonna hurt he don't want you to you're not doing it and you're not gonna charge me 180 again like last time to go look at his ear goo under a microscope and tell me it's bacteria yeah i know it's bacteria so give me the good antibiotics let's get the fuck out of here okay stop giving me the fake ones doctor what are you the fucking like salesperson yeah doctor come on let's get real no real doctors yeah i wonder if it's easier or harder than being a doctor being a vet well the the counter argument to what what everybody knows would be that oh they've got to be able to work on everything from an anaconda to a horse walk into your vet and have them operate on an anaconda. See how that goes.

You need an anaconda guy! I'm going to bring him a sick fish. He'll be like, sir, you really should have brought this in water. Yeah. I mostly just sell dog vitamins and shots at an 800% markup and castrate animals. That's mostly my job.

I mostly spell the most expensive treats on earth that's the thing that happened with our first dog they were like oh we need to get like a dental expert to look at it because it looks like he's uh one of his bottom teeth is like touching the top of his his thing um and then we'll need to so we need to send it off to this dental expert and then we'll uh then we'll when we put him out to do his uh his fucking balls we'll just like take a little bit of the top of his tooth off and i was like well you don't need to send it to the fucking dental expert his fucking tooth is touching it it's pretty plainly obvious just fucking shorten it a little bit and then they're

like oh okay well we'll just do that and i'm like how did it like you guys are meant to have motherfucking degrees like how did you take it? You don't understand. I'm trying to make money off of you. They're trying to build you over. The doggy dental expert, by the way, I call bullshit on that even existing.

There's no way there's a guy. Really? I'm a dog dental expert. It's funny you say that. There are dogs. Now that I talk about it, there are, I suppose. But he would be the guy you take him to. You wouldn't get a reference or an opinion.

We're going to have to get an opinion from the tooth guy. The dog-ass horse guy. Maybe if he had really fucked up teeth. But I looked at it, and I'm like, his teeth grew in. And then I look at his teeth, and I'm like, he really fucking hates it

when I touch his mouth. That must be painful. And I look at it, and I'm like, oh like well hey hey he really fucking hates it when i touch his mouth that must be painful and i look at it i'm like oh that's all red i'm like man motherfucker with one eye could work that out like you've got a career in dog dentistry yeah apparently now i'm a dog dental expert all right my goodness are you a dog mechanic as well show me anything i'll tell you if it's a dog's tooth i've i've never had a good experience at a vet like like you felt like they were smart enough to i never felt like they they were good at their job i felt like they were okay at their job and if i didn't if i wasn't an astute customer i don't i don't think i was going to get the proper medical assistance for my animal. I've always felt that.

I'm here as an advocate for the dog. Because if I just send him in there, it's like, yeah, it's like send him into the legal system. He needs me or they'll fuck him over. They'll be like, ah, just cut it off. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, hang on. Let's sew it back on and see if it takes. Yeah, let's see if it takes.

Yeah, those people i remember like um like like a couple vets doing shitty jobs with our dogs uh over the years and and then those ladies those people trying to fleece me the other day to look on look at some ear goo under a microscope again i paid him the first time i'm like we're not gonna look at his ear bacteria for a second time for another 200 or whatever yeah that. That's ridiculous. Just give him the pills. So you know what she told me by the end? I was like,

why does he keep getting these ear infections? I was like, I don't understand. She's like, ah, it could be his food. We've got this food here. It's a hundred dollars a bag.

You want some? And I'm like, do you love your dog or not? I'm asking. I said, I said, it's not as food foods. Don't there's no way.

Like, like his diet is causing a goddamn ear infection. Unless you take pellets of it and put it down not his food. There's no way. His diet is causing a goddamn ear infection unless you take pellets of it and put it down his fucking ear. And then I called her a slur for Asian people, which really took her back because she was black. That's the ultimate trap card.

She was clearly a Jamaican woman. You use inappropriate racial epithets. And so they're so taken aback. Is it racist to call a black person a slur of a different variety? I call it flavorful. Flavorful. Creative. Yeah, it's creative.

You have to encourage creativity wherever you see it in this world. We're all so beaten down. I don't even know any slurs for... Put your nose to the grindstone and you can think of them. No, I mean, there's chink and gook and zipper head. There's lists and lists.

I mean, our man here lives in Oceana or Pacific or whatever that shit's called. I bet he's going to slew them. My grandfather and grandmother and your mom fighting against the japanese in world war ii they fucking they had all of them i bet they come up with quite a few nothing nothing stimulates the slur economy like a war yeah my my gran my gran hated asian people with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns really the whole any asian she didn't she didn't like she selected

she couldn't even tell the fucking difference and she didn't care you're part of that group we thought with i don't care what i hear now is for r for Russians and it's orc. Have you heard this? All Russian soldiers are orcs. They're calling them that all the time. Why is it an orc? I guess because it's intentional dehumanization, I'm sure. And it works.

Well, you know, they're barbaric invaders cut from the same cloth as orcs. One would say that they're in. There's a video. I've seen videos of russians um killing persians of war with sledgehammers and axes and stuff so you know orc isn't that far off well the history of the orcs and you know not really not really that good but when i when i think of orcs though i always think it's like would be a better one okay they misunderstood taylor no no all i think about is like warcraft where it's like job's done like

i watched a 50 minute video called are orcs evil are there any good orcs no no there aren't it's kind of integral to what an orc is that it is bad they can't be all bad you can't have a society that functions with all bad it's not so much a society as they are minions of an evil deity they have menus and they have

well but like orcs aren't like they don't go to an orc village in lord of the rings at least and be like oh we're stealing the orc children to make them into orc soldiers it's like no their whole thing is that they are like created by evil like they are like an avatar

of the evil of but somebody must be a farmer or like they can't all be senseless soldiers just no they don't kill and steal they starve yeah they don't kill and steal they starve yeah yeah they don't really grow stuff mount doom they're more like a rabble as well they like they more just like move forward under the guise of being getting their ass whipped by someone yeah they got trolls

behind them and other meaner orcs and all sorts i really hope that's the thing i know you're not right about that you only have to beat up the meanest orc and then the meanest orcs and all sorts of things. I really hope... That's the thing. You only have to beat up the meanest orc and then the meanest orc and beat up the other orcs. It's a simple system. I'm totally right about this thing. She said she saw new scenes. How about that?

There's new scenes. If there are new scenes in Lord of the Rings, I will be flabbergasted. There is no way... Yeah, they re-released Lord of the Rings and they made an extended version. They added brand new scenes that they've never before been seen, that were shot, you know, but the movie was

overly long already. They're not finished or anything. They're still in their pajamas with the dots all over them. They put the scene in where they're crawling around and that freak all dotted up. They included the part about the eagles yeah that explanation

yeah right the extended version they just climb on the eagles and go across to mount there's like an extra like nine minutes it says because it's 260 minutes and the first was 411 4 hours and 11 minutes

extended credits. Meanwhile, they just slowed it down by 1%. Yeah. Everyone's trying to figure out what's new. Yeah, yeah. That'll be very funny. And, uh, I've, uh, I've done the watch,

it's been a while since I've done a rewatch. I don't quite remember the last time. But yeah, if they added nine more minutes, what I'm truly waiting on is the 4K Blu-rays to finally come out so I can buy a definitive collection. Do you think 8K is going to happen? Is that going to be our next?

I don't think 8K is around the corner for every consumer, right? Yeah. How much more realistic can you get how much more like it goes on like it's like it's like it starts to make more sense right what was that selection but 2k like 2k is like the standard for computers now like you don't see many people on like 1080p anymore like everyone's using 1440p it's like it's only natural that it will get there eventually i think like 4k is not even that fully adopted yet i'm talking about televisions really i yeah oh i mean it is for it is for televisions but at the same time like that's what i'm talking about

like like a 4k telly is also like fucking prohibitively expensive for some people like a good one you can go get like an a high sense fucking 4k television this piece y'all have taxes that we don't have tvs are y'all have electronics a good one and a bad one uh like the when you're using the smart tv shit it's like real fucking slow and like doesn't have all the apps and stuff on it look i have a good say my tv is 4k i have like a samsung 4k one that's like as thin as a fucking piece of paper and how many dollar do you run yeah uh i think it was about uh 3 000 maybe wait how big of a tv is it uh 70 inches that's it yeah like i don't know where the number is now it's probably 65 that65 that's affordable. And then for some reason, $70

tripled the price. $65, they give away. You could cover your walls in 65-inch screens for less than it would cost to go to Disney World. But on the other hand, those 80-plus-inch screens are... I don't remember what we paid when we bought this TV.

It's almost time to get a new one. It's almost time for a new TV. I thought my TV had quit working the other day. It stopped recognizing HDMI inputs. Turned out it needed the old college try of unplugging it from the wall and plugging it back in. But how often do you do that to a television set? Anyway, I was like, oh, it's the TV, bro. 75-inch 4K, and it was three thousand four

hundred dollars yeah that's definitely that's almost twice because i think kyle and i got the same 75 inch samsung a few years ago maybe it was on sale but it was like your dollars it was like twice as much yeah i was gonna say he doesn't use real dollars they're probably i thought it was 2300 bucks oh yeah yeah he's on dollar-y dues. $2,300 would be equal price, about. With a 10% tax on top of it. I remember it being $1,800.

I'm talking about consumer televisions. I'm wondering if 8K is going to be the way that 4K took over. The way that we lived through the whole thing we i remember when holy shit 720p oh my god now we can see the movie you know you were you were we grew up on vhs tapes someone said they showed their classroom vhs tape then they couldn't

identify it the other day of like middle schoolers or some shit yeah i guess that's right they've never seen a fucking vcr i don't even own one anymore but someone was talking the other day about the save button on um on like uh excel and like people don't people like what is the save button it's like it's a floppy disk they're like yeah what does the save button mean that's funny i didn't think about that well the symbol they don't understand why it's that. They don't understand the symbol, yeah. I think I'm just wrong about the TV stuff

because I just don't really follow TV stuff. I went into the shop and my wife's like, I want one that looks nice on the wall that doesn't look like a TV. So I just scoured the internet for one that just looks like a photo frame. And I'm like, cool, I'll get that one. What do you do for sound?

No, it's classy. It's, i use my ears i ask because the really thin ones sometimes have terrible audio do you have a speakers uh no it has like a box that comes off it like so okay because it has like it has like this fiber optic cable that goes up like it's a you can't see it or you can put it through the wall which i did and then the like it doesn't have like any of the actual like shit that powers it inside the tv it's basically just like the fucking oled screen that's why it's so thin and then the box sits there and the box has the sound coming out of it so it's like like a like a shittier version of a sound

bar but it's not too bad like i'm not a real sound kind of guy when it comes to that kind of stuff. How do you have your TV mounted? I mean, I know how you have a TV mount, but do you tilt it down toward yourself or do you utilize the mount much to angle it toward you?

There are three places I watch. Oh, I thought you... I did ask Woody. Yeah, there's three places I've watched oh i thought you did we ask me i did ask what are you yeah there's three places i watch tv one's a projector so it's a screen on the wall uh the other is at the foot of the master bedroom and it we have like a piece of furniture where the tv emerges from it and it like comes up and uh yeah and then in the guest room which we use a lot too uh it's mounted and it's tilted a little down i think yeah i've got i asked because um currently i've got mine very high on the wall up above the mantle and tilted down toward me because i can like lie back on the the chase

of my couch and just it's like perfect squared up to me but um i saw this uh video on YouTube where this guy was installing them into the wall. So they're perfectly flush with the wall. And then, you know, you've got a box in there that handle all the wiring, which you end up with an incredibly clean look because you've got it's just a screen flush with your drywall or whatever. There's nothing protruding from the wall. But I did wonder, you would need it down low instead of up high, which I kind of like that. I kind of like lying back on the couch

with a pillow or something behind me and just relaxing and looking up at it. That feels kind of natural. I did not light TV three times because at first I was like, I want it high. I feel high. My living room has this,

like there's a mantle. And then the wall has this wide wood work that goes all the way to the ceiling and the ceilings at least 15 feet up. So I was like, Oh, this is a perfect place. I can throw it. I can put it up there.

And it's a, it's a big TV. So it's, it's kind of hard to imagine where the screen is going to be and the edges of it based on just the mount. I don't have the mount. I'm drilling holes. I'm trying to hit studs. I got that bitch up there. I'm sweating by the time it's done. I mounted it by myself. It's awkward. There's times when I'm holding the whole TV with one hand while like doing

something with my other hand and balancing. So I get done. I sit down. I've got, I got my ice water. I look up and I'm like, hell yeah. I turn it on.

I'm like, it's too fucking high. How long did you watch it before it was too high? I, I mean, I turned the apps on. I didn't like, I didn't,

I didn't have an app it was so high that it's like my neck is gonna start hurting in 30 seconds were you so excited why did you think it was good to put a tv in the sky well again because it's so if a little bit high is good and i'm and you know the scent the nature of the the bracket drilling the holes and everything, I didn't realize I was... The viewing screen was going to be that high. The bracket seemed a decent height. Oh, so the bracket was kind of where you imagined

the TV would go and then... And then there's the top of the screen another two and a half feet higher. The TV was so much taller. Three tries it took. You can imagine the fury that I felt the second time I did everything, looked up and it was still too

goddamn high. I'm curious. If I were to sit down and watch your TV, would there be a trail of tears of bad installations above it as it led down to the TV? You know what you'd see? You'd be watching TV and you could see the holes

from the higher up mount Did you paint it after potting it? I haven't painted yet because I'm moving out in like three months or something like that so I'll get, that'll be the time to There's a couple spots I need touching up I fucked up a few things. There was one point

when I was trying to mount my ethernet cable so that it was like, and it is to be fair, the Ethernet cable runs out of this office down a hallway, down a staircase, and it's attached to the wall in this little strip that keeps it nice and clean.

But I got filled with a rage while I was mounting it at one point. Let's just leave it at that. And I decided, fuck all this shit i started ripping it all off the wall but but the the conduit has a sticky side the conduit that holds the ethernet and and that sticky side grabbed the paint on the wall and ripped it off the wall and a and a strip about a foot and a half long and so that's still there with like the paint ripped off now you gotta get swatches and figure out oh no you know when you rent a place there's a bucket of paint under

the uh you know i'll go grab the paint they let they left here but i'll say this as shitty as this this fucking people i rent from are then they are they are scum i won't say who they are but they're scum uh awful awful to deal with there's no way to actually get a guy who can do a thing they're all just just just fucking bots npcs when you call that fucking phone number you could be like you listen to me ma'am you don't even understand we're going on nbc tonight to talk about what you people have done to me she'd be like fucking go for it bro you think i care i don't even know who you are you don't know my real name i'm the fucking lizard king like they don't care you can't threaten them you can't be like hey can we come to a a mutual agreement here can we negotiate can you understand that i'm i don't have air conditioning and it's 80 degrees well it has to be 88 before we consider an emergency you'll get that kind of shit out of

them yeah so so uh but but my last place man it was I was moving my stuff out by myself. And I've talked about this before. I don't know why I took it upon myself to do all the moving by myself. When I looked at it and I looked at all my belongings and the U-Haul truck, I was like, 12 hours. 12 hours of me hustling. I knocked that the fuck out. I hustle.

Because when I work, I work. Like, I don't stop. Dude, it was three days of hustling and just just just dripping sweat. And I got done. And it's like, man, I got to get down the road. It's midnight one in the morning. And I still got to unpack this shit at my new place. And there was so much left to do.

I didn't leave trash. I didn't leave garbage. But I did not patch the holes in the wall from from all the electronics I'd mounted throughout the home. And little things were broken like the toilet paper holder and like the gas bathrooms knocked off the fucking thing because it was a piece of shit to begin with and like little things

here and there standard do that I thought also we're missing a kitchen drawer we're also missing there but that's not normal there's a hole you can see the tracks I've been on this planet for 50 years and I've never missing several... That's not normal. There's just a hole? You can see the tracks?

I've been on this planet for 50 years and I've never lost a kitchen drawer. Well, I know where it is. Did you shatter it? Asunder? I broke... I pulled the drawer out and it broke or something. It just fell apart. Were you blue Kyle?

No, no, no, no, no. I really wasn't. I really wasn't. I don't remember exactly how it broke, but it wasn't my fault. It just fell apart. And so what I did was I took it out with the intention of repairing it and never did. And so I just left it on the floor, broken drawer hole in the, you know, where the drawer used to go. And the refrigerator

i had taken a lot of that the dividers and it's getting better yeah i mean i'm trying to be honest to you i think i've taken a lot of the dividers out because it's easier to get say a case of protein soda things in there or like a whole bunch of meat or whatever there's more it's easier to get big shit in your fridge if you take all those dividers out and i some of them had were in where they're worse for wear they were all fucked up i had left one of them outside for like three months and you remove them no well one of them was broken you know when you forget something outside so so one of them one of the things that go it attaches to the freezer door when you open the door and you like i don't know throw some hot pockets in there or something.

Well, that thing, it slides out for cleaning, but then I had dropped it and it just broke in half. So I super glued it back together, but it was still so brittle that it could never store anything again. There's no way. The idea of food would break it, as cold as a you know it's brittle and cold in there taylor it's not that i'm a terrible renter from hell fifteen hundred dollars you know how it goes you rip out the interior of your refrigerator and leave it outside for a couple of months yeah you know when you put something outside in september and then you stand up abruptly in December.

My God! The dog! I also left on the back patio. It was just it needed a good pressure washing because I had fires back there and they had scorched the stone and plastic that I had burned back there had melted

to the stone. What were you doing? back there had melted to the stone doing 1500 deposit right at night i go full white trash mode like what i'm gonna do with these amazon boxes i'll tell you what i'm gonna do the same thing i do with all that plastic i'm gonna melt it in the backyard i'm gonna melt it in the neighbor's wait wait that's white trash i didn't know it's frowned upon it depends where you live like for you it's in you're an industrious countryman for me it's like that white trash neighbor of mine we're in a fucking nice place there's a there's a housing um what do you call those fucking house not your mailbox yeah this is a homeowner's association burning trash in your backyard but three in the morning

fucking inferno in my backyard every night you talking about like doing i got my but the whole point of the story though i'm sorry $1,500 deposit i got it all back got it all back shocked when i got the check kitty was like you got a check here for $1,500 and i'm like from fucking who you're the renters i was like there's no fucking way it's a mistake there's no way they gave me all that money back like oh it's been gone that's yeah the npcs just didn't know any better they did it out of habit and then you can just bank on that sometimes but then you're the fuck like i rented a house so i own a house and i rented out to people and uh i i had it through a real estate agent and they just don't give a fuck as long as

the rent is like coming through they won't even check the fucking house man they don't give a shit they just want 20 of the well whatever the fucking percentage is like eight percent of the money that you're getting to just hassle the people to pay rent that's all they fucking do they suck like we have one person move out this is a couple that were living there and this dude was was a builder. Like, this guy's meant to be, like, a qualified builder that knows, like, how to build houses. And I went down to the house, and, like, as you said, the toilet roll holder was hanging off, was detached from the wall, and it was just sitting on the ground, okay? The actual mount for it was still squarely attached to the wall, and I built this house. I know, that thing was fucking in there all right the only thing you needed to reattach this toilet roll holder was a fucking allen key and this dude hadn't put it on i'm like so this guy's been living here for like two years

without a toilet roll holder for sans fucking allen key like what kind of builder is this they can't even put a fucking toilet roll holder on I fear for people that live in houses he doesn't want to bring his work home with him was he married? was he married? he should have been harassed by his missus to put this shit back

yeah it doesn't make sense but if you're single it's like dude I don't fucking care I don't fucking care I don't give a shit like my stuff falls off all the time but i expect better from my rentals i think i've gotten my deposit back every single time i've rented but the the place i lived in st louis like the city before this before i bought a house it was like the last evening like i'd packed everything up and like they had a big to do because it had like very it was like a studio kind of place with like 18 20 foot like absurdly tall

ceilings like and i didn't i was in an apartment i didn't own a ladder and they were like big fees if you don't replace the light bulbs at the like in the ceiling that's like 20 feet up there and i was like all right well i'm not buying a ladder and so i went to home depot and i bought one of those big old sticks that's got a suction cup on the end of it and what you do is you take it and the the suction cup part you plug it in and snap to attach it to the stick and then you extend the stick as needed suction it to the light bulb and then you unscrew it and then you gently bring it back down and i i had a full day i just wanted to like go to my new house that i just bought and i just have to get these fucking light bulbs changed and then i can go and so i went after work i went way out of the

way to go to home depot bought this stupid fucking you have 35 device and i go back to my apartment i set the suction cup thing into the top i extend it and go towards the first light bulb i stick it i pull it down and the suction cup is stuck to the light bulb and has not come back down with the thing and so I just have a stick and I'm trying to stick the stick back

onto this thing and twist it and I probably gave it two minutes and I just did like that George from Seinfeld like that and I just dropped it and i just did like that george from seinfeld like that and i just i dropped it and i just i left i left the stick there the suction cups probably still on the light the empty light bulb in that apartment and i just i was like fuck it if you charge me 50 for this like it's really 85 and you have a free light bulb changing stick if you can rectify this when i was like 23 jackie and i rented a townhouse

and it was just from two people like they're just a husband and wife that own the townhouse and that was when we got puppies two puppies two yellow labs and you know puppies pee that's just a thing so they peed on every carpet in that house. And we bought a steam cleaner, but it just didn't get it done. You know, like I'm trying. And we're training dogs. And we both work at this point. So the dogs are like great training.

And then we come home and there's always a mess. And we eventually bought like baby gates for the kitchen, which had an linoleum floor. And we just washed it like crazy all the time. Anyway, the whole place smelled like urine. It smelled like urine. Every carpet and the pad under the carpet needed to be replaced. So we're moving out and I like I have a steam cleaner and I'm manually just vacuuming, steaming everything.

Every window in this townhouse is open and they do the walkthrough so for like four minutes we make the place not smell like we get our full deposit back and i know when they went to the place the next time they were like oh no we made a grave error we have man what's your husband doing? Oh, they call him the Lysol man. He's just walking around. It was just the place smelled like soap and cleaner and freshly vacuumed. Oh, my God. Four candles in the entryway.

You have to hold a candle while you're walking around. I love sandals and warm vanilla sugar and lemon. Oh, you're that's burning sorry i don't usually burn plastic at this hour when i moved into this house i uh it had carpet all through and the carpet was like pretty old and shagged and i was like oh no i'm gonna replace that so we got our first puppy and we're like oh you just let him destroy the carpet who gives a fuck um so he would he would pee and i started off like i would clean it up and i'd be like oh we're gonna do that like i'm gonna clean

up his pee on the carpet and then it got to the point where he was just like fucking the carpet so bad i'm like no that's it i'm gonna put floorboards in but instead of cleaning it i get up in the morning and he would have like peed on the carpet i bad. I'm like, no, that's it. I'm going to put floorboards in. But instead of cleaning it, I get up in the morning and he would have, like, peed on the carpet. I just went around with a fucking box cutter and just cut squares out of the carpet and then just threw the carpet away. So, like, this was, like, we are going to pull it up when I have time.

But for a while there, we just had carpet in our house that just had, like, massive squares cut out of it. So I was like, oh, we're going to get rid of that eventually. And then it got to massive squares so i was like oh we're gonna get rid of that eventually and then it got to the point where i was like okay it's more it's more just chipboard than carpet so i'm gonna have to pull this up and put down new floors yeah exactly i was like i'm gonna get rid of it anyway it's all fucked so yeah i've got my enormous dog house trained he uh comes and I've got bells on the door that he slaps with his hand

and he'll come nibble me when he wants to get up and he'll bring me my shoes. I'll alert him, get my shoes, get my fucking shoes and he'll go get them. He'll put my hand in his mouth and sort of nibble real fast, nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble.

Pull me toward the door. He's a smart little fucker. He gets your shoes? I've never had a dog that does that. My flip-flops? My prison slides? That's pretty cool. Are they literally prison slides? Yeah.

I think, yeah. You can't buy them. You gotta earn them. You can. They're Nike slides. You know those Nike flip-flops that have the little rubbery finger nubs as the base?

It's those. It's in the Nike word and stuff. I don't even have motherfucking Crocs and they're giving out those in prison? We have Crocs too. They were like shower shoes. They were essentially Crocs. But yeah. out those in prison we had crocs too that's what we used they were like shower shoes they were essentially crocs yeah um but but uh yeah the the dog knows that every time we go outside i grab my

flip-flops and like drop them on the floor and then slide my foot in so i think he just learned that that's what i want to happen and then i go out so he'll walk up with him and drop him on the floor at my feet because he knows then I go out. I kind of like accidentally trained him to do it, I guess. But yeah, it's super cute. When he shows up with my flip flop, I know it's time to go out too. But he usually wakes me up 5 a.m., 4 a.m.,

chewing on my hand or something. Or sometimes he'll just jump on my chest and scare the fuck out of me because he must weigh 60 pounds. Just because he loves you. He just wants to hang out why don't you get a get a dog door dog door i'm renting the place i'm in right now so i can't do that but i think i'm gonna do that um i've been talking about that a lot like i really want a dog door how well you can get it so do you have like uh i bet a modern one is good they've got some

solution right i bet you can put a thing on this all right door so it looks like uh where the slide door opens it's just like an insert so you're like you grab this like big metallic frame thing that has a dog door in the bottom and then you just uh attach it to like the sliding rail of the door and they just close the door like to the rail thing and i'm gonna give my dog keyless entry on his on his oh you should have a little thing on his because you don't want people to intrude and you want animals to get in either but if you had a thing that the door if he put his foot on it the door would slide but only when his uh when his collar was within a meter that would be perfect right then he's got his own fucking key yeah you

should do that do it for all of them you can all have i had to do that for my cat because he was getting so fat he kept eating the other cat's food and so they've got the microchip in their neck but you get this feeder and it's got this like round thing on top and when they put their head into like this fucking hole to get to the food this little thing goes like and like slides back and i'll let him at the food but if he tries to go at it it'll detect his chip the fat one and it'll just be like nope and just like close up on him i was like i was like that's that's gonna fucking it's gonna work real well and then uh yeah then he just fucking like destroyed it like he he literally ate it in half like it's like fuck this he didn't let off it shit oh he ripped the fucking little plastic mechanism that fucking uh opens and closes the fucking lid off it and shit. He ripped the fucking little plastic mechanism that fucking opens and closes

the fucking lid off. He ripped the whole lid off it. He's just hungry as fuck. Little dogs. I want to watch Kyle open this drink. What are you using, Kyle? Is he struggling? I got it. You got it. What'd you use? Were they tweezers?

I used my vape. I flipped the little tab on the can and it didn't do anything. It just broke off. You didn't even enjoy your starry for a couple seconds. Oh, I'm in now. Oh, I'm in. You're going to be able to finish it?

It's actually pretty good. Am I going to finish it? That 7-ounce can? I almost bought the seven ounce cans too because they were uh they were out of the other ones and i was like i don't want to spend more money for less shit no yeah it is more it was they were buy one get one free and i wanted to buy the pepsi peep flavor not it's i i have a 12 packpack downstairs. I took a sip of one and was like, oh, and now we know. Now we know.

It's too sweet. Yeah. Now we know. So I've got 11 Pepsi Peep-flavored sodas downstairs, the minis, and I do not plan to... For those who don't know, Peeps are these Easter marshmallows that are shaped like little chickens, and they have a very distinctive

marshmallow-y, fake sugary flavor. That's really pretty gross. Oh my god, that looks amazing. You have those, Kyle? Yeah, I got a dozen of them. Are they full sugar, just sin drinks? They're awful.

So what I did was, they were buy one, one free that's that i was saying that's how i came upon the mini cans also they made me feel like a giant i like to feel like andre the giant when i'm having like oh i need four i'm a big man i can drink four stories yeah i i i uh i use these for my dick pics that's not a bad idea actually everybody's like fuck i'm sorry i can't accommodate you why are the dimensions of the can so odd you're like do we contact the block but yeah i i uh it was they didn't have the uh the zero sugar so i was like fuck it like i don't i

don't think i'm gonna get addicted to these so but no one sip of that and it was it was foul um it was just foul i don't even like peeps i don't know I'm going to get addicted to these. But no, one sip of that, and it was foul. It was just foul. I don't even like Peeps. I don't know what I was thinking. No adults like Peeps. I've got three full sugar IBC creams in my fridge still. I'm going to have one tonight. I want a Werther's original flavored Dr. Pepper.

Oh, that'd be lovely. So basically caramel Dr. Pepper? Yeah. Okay, it looks like this is it. Maple Pepsi. Oh, they partnered up with IHOP? What the fuck is wrong with you? If IHOP knows one thing,

they know maple-flavored sodas. That and Combat at 3 a.m. Yeah. Combat at 3 a.m. IHOP will get their ass kicked If they tried to go to What am I going for What's the other pancake place That's like

Oh Denny's Waffle House IHOP doesn't want to go to the Waffle House neighborhood It's too upscale I love Waffle House IHOP doesn't have the street smarts That Waffle House has You canOP doesn't have the street smarts that Waffle House has. You can't go eat breakfast at a restaurant

without feeling like you're being bent over a barrel anywhere. Well, I mean, if I go order a steak, I expect to pay money for it, but like getting eggs and breakfast meats for like $20, $25.

Go to Waffle House. Or if you really want to live like a fucking King Taylor, if you want to be the Admiral of Breakfast, I want to be the Admiral of Breakfast. Do you want to be the CEO of Sausage? Yeah! The Baron of Breakfast!

You want to go to a little place called Shoney's. Shoney's. Hang on a minute. I know what you're thinking. I've had Shoney's lunch. It's awful. I think they're microwaving it back there. I know what you're thinking. It's disgusting. Despicable. You're not wrong, but hear me out. You getting commission from

Shoney's here? I am. They paid a lot for this. Eating Shoney's lunch is the equivalent of eating Wendy's breakfast. It's not what they do. They make chili for obese men. Eating Shoney's lunch is the equivalent of eating Wendy's breakfast. It's not what they do. They make chili for obese men. That's what they do. Okay.

But if you go to Shoney's breakfast. I can think of a potential customer. You get that breakfast bar. You want the bar up there. Taylor, it's incredible. Some of my fondest memories of childhood are getting up extra early, or maybe my cousin and I have stayed up all night gaming, playing Halo, and it's like, dude, you know what?

30 more minutes, Shoney's opens. We would be in the parking lot waiting because they have, it's an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet, and it was like $6. And I just remember the piles of steaming pancakes and eight different syrups and all the breakfast sausages and the piles of eggs. And I would eat a half a pound. We would make an effort to eat

an enormous amount of food. You lost me at opening. True breakfast restaurants don't close. At that age, you're right. Because I remember when we were up super late in high school, college, there was this place called Uncle Bill's that was a breakfast place.

And I think it's probably closed now. But it was a one-off place. And they had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the new law that you can't let people smoke in your restaurant. And they had really genuinely very good breakfast food. And it was like an old timey, like elk lodge feeling place. But like,

obviously most of the patronage has been dying out and like, you'd go in there and like, it was thick with cigar smoke, like thick. Like it was so like people were smoking cigs everywhere too, but it was so much so, so powerful with cigars. Like he smelled more more of that so it actually wasn't too bad but we just went there all the time and we were fucking 16 but seeing everybody else smoking around was like

we're almost transitively mature for being somewhere where they allow smoking i remember being like being like oh how adults that Uncle Bill's all these geriatrics can kill themselves on reasonably priced bacon. As of a couple years ago, there were 12 states that had not enacted any ban on

smoking in workplaces, bars, or restaurants. I thought about that because I was trying to think the last time i'd smoked in a restaurant and it was we were in tennessee in paris tennessee at a steak restaurant or what they call one there and like like a decade ago like 10 years 10 fucking years ago probably and uh and and we were and i was like what this is an ashtray are we are we allowed ashtray? Are we allowed? You have to smoke if there's an ashtray. And when we saw,

they were like, yeah, we can fucking smoke in here. And they did the thing where like, yeah, this is the smoking section. But all there was was like a wall that came up full of... The idea of separation. Yeah, there's people over there that don't want to deal with this. It's a principle thing.

After we ate, we lit up and fucking smoked because I wanted to express my freedom. You know? It's like, really? They'll let me do it right fucking here. That's the best thing about Japan. Nobody will say shit. Well, they might, but they can't do anything.

I made a point to blow it on the other side. There were these old people. When you go in Japan, you go to a Starbucks and it'll have down the bottom floor because everything's multi-story there because everything's fucking tiny. So you go into the bottom floor, you order your coffee, and there's two seats there. And then upstairs is a smoking area.

So you go upstairs and it's separated into two. There's this fucking glass divider wall. And you walk into this smoking room and it just has a million air conditioners running and sucking the smoke out. And it's fucking great. They have it everywhere. Like you go on the bullet trains and you're just standing in this fucking random,

like it's like the size of like a big toilet cubicle. You're standing in there with your wife, just punch a dance on a bullet train, which is way faster than a flight. Japan has cooler stuff than us. I've seen that. I think I've seen that at two airports. I know they got it in Vegas.

They've got a cube you get in full of slot machines, and it's sucking it straight up. And the cube is just right there in the middle of the airport. People are walking around it and past it to get to their terminals and stuff. And there's just a little cube full of people gambling and just smoking, and it's sucking it straight up. Is that a McCarran? I remember vividly going to to shot show and then standing in

this oh then yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so the one that's got the little train that you get to like get a little view as you go in um and then the other one is atlanta at atlanta um i don't know which terminal is it's i've only i don't often go through it but they've got a big room i mean big you could probably seat 50 60 people in there around because it's it's multiple rows of seats and it's the same thing and they've got the old school airport seats in there that have the ashtrays built in that's cool like the the hand wrist flips over and now it's an ashtray and uh and of course just big fans up top will you always smoke a cig if you're i'll go in there and bum one every time.

That's the thing about smokers. It's a fucking brotherhood. You go in there and be like, hey, I don't really smoke. It's been a while. I think I could have one of those. I always ask a black guy because they got menthols. And that's what I want. I know where to get them.

Right here. And yeah, yeah. But I haven't been. It must be on the not on the Delta side. It must be on the blue side. Cause it's, it's, I've only been through there twice and actually seen, or it's terminal that I don't normally use when I, when I fly out for whatever reason, cause I've only seen it twice. There's like a few areas around here in St. Louis that like municipalities where you can still do it. And like, this is, it was probably two years ago now, but I was at this bar probably watching a blues game with some

buddies and it was like smoky as shit when we walked in. Same situation. Ash trays everywhere. I smoked a cigarette. It's fun. It's fun to smoke inside. You feel cool. You never give up smoking cigarettes though. You just give up buying cigarettes. Yeah.

You just bum them off your mind. When I was like 21, i'd have heaps of people i'd go to the bar and it'd be like oh i can't bum a dart mate every single time i'm like mate you've just given up buying cigarettes all right you're not gonna sit here all night smoke half of my fucking pack motherfucker like that's a little different i i never do like um if uh i don't if i'm hanging around if i'm on vacation or something i will absolutely smoke when we went to colorado last year like everybody there was smoking and they're all smoking the cigarettes that i smoke so so absolutely the whole thing i mean you bought all the cigs and you were the sick man i eventually like felt bad about bumming cigarettes so i was just like hey hey when next time you go, buy two

packs. One will be mine and one will be yours. And we did that. I smoked a whole pack and a half of cigarettes in Colorado. And then when we went to that Super Bowl little get-together that time with you and Chiz, Chiz got those camel crushes. Woody, this is a cigarette

that tastes normal, but inside the butt, the part in your mouth, the filter, there's a little capsule. You can nibble it with your front teeth, or you can pinch it with your fingers hard enough, and you'll hear it crush. It releases that menthol minty flavor in a very potent way that you wouldn't be able to get if you just stored it in a pack. It's instantly, oh, that feels cool. just stored it in a pack it's like instantly oh that feels cool it's almost like uh like um like mentholated vapors or whatever that like that shit you put on your chest it's got this sort of clean refreshing sort of thing instead of that it's i know when you secondhand smoke when you get exposed to that it's this dirty nasty thing so is marijuana it's it's much it's a dirtier smell

but i don't know that those things tasted fucking good every time i hang out with shiz i have to smoke those fucking things i've yeah that was in my like weed smoking days because like in australia when you smoke weed like what a lot of people do is they'll take the weed and then they'll put like um tobacco in it as well we call it spin and so we which is a little spliff now now i've spoken for a long time i'm like no i'm not gonna do that but like when i was younger it's like you make the weed last longer because we're fucking poor you know our cigarettes are so expensive here they cost more than fucking weed but anyway um my one of my friends he he pulls out this uh he pulls out these fucking crusher things that you're just talking about

yeah he's in his mind he's like okay we're gonna fucking we're gonna put the tobacco in we're gonna spin that up and then i'm gonna make this fucking weed menthol flavored so he sits there and he pulls out of the cigarette butts these little fucking plastic things and then just throws them into the coffee grinder with the weed and just and he's just sitting there just smoking plastic. I'm like, man. He was so close. He was so close. All you got to do is you can take a cigarette and gently the white paper between your fingers, and you do this.

You're back and forth like you're making a fake. Oh, yeah. No, I've done that a million times. And very quickly, all the tobacco will get loose, will get unpacked, and just fall out until you've got this hollow cylinder of paper that you could have never made yourself. And then you can very carefully fill that with marijuana. And now you got your Camel Crush flavored little joint. I'm still smoking cigarettes in my house.

I was going to go out and I wanted a joint so that I could. If I was going to go out and I wanted a joint, that i could if i was gonna go out and i wanted a joint like i was going to the carnival or something and i wanted to this is years ago and i wanted to be able to get high and then go into the carnival that's what i'd do i'd roll up a cigarette like that and i'd be holding it like as i'm driving there because i've got drugs in my hand but you know i'll eat this thing i don't give a shit and i just and only like an inch of it is weed it's it's just like three or four big hits of weed and i just burn that thing down on like as i'm pulling into where i'm going and flick it

out the window like a cigarette butt it just seemed real safe it's okay it seemed like perfect crime you know we that's not how we got busted we'd always pack those up and put them in the cigarette pack before we went out to the bar so we can like stand out the back in the smokers area and smoke them and they just look like normal cigarettes. We found, like, using a chopstick is that, like, that a chopstick is, like, the perfect fucking size. You can pack that shit in there. Like, you can get a surprising amount of fucking weed in there. But the number one thing you have to do is, so you've got the cigarette sitting in there. Just before you smoke it, you bite, like, the filter and you pull the filter out with your teeth and the whole filter will come out in one piece and then

you just tear like a little bit of the filter off and then fold it and put it back in it's like a road fucking no dude every step of what you're doing i've done like like i i i came i saw a teacher the listeners i didn't know anybody else i came upon that by myself at home trying to get high like the idea that that's what you did you did that too or maybe everybody does that that shit's massive in australia because they like people will hide them in the cigarette pack and they like we call them stealthies but i don't know what anyone else calls them but you just like because you open up the pack of cigarettes it just looks like another fucking cigarette no you're like you're good yeah you can't get caught yeah the full filter was too much yeah you almost couldn't get high do you yeah you don't want to smoke weed

through a filter like that right it doesn't pull very fast you want a little yeah you don't you're like you're like it's like smoke you ever have somebody roll one up and it looks like a fucking i don't know like some lint or something like a hair like like if i see a toothpick joint i'm so embarrassed for you i can't roll one though i had a rolling machine that's how i would roll them if i wasn't stuffing cigarettes like we just described but i've done that exact thing like way too much in there so like if you're if you're just chilling and you're like yeah i'm gonna get high before i go to work or whatever if you put one into the rolling machine and you roll like something like enough weed in there

to like make it roll properly you're like oh I'm going to be way too fucking hard at work so you end up making these like little greyhounds we call them whippets like the little mini greyhounds so they're like real like thin little joints and you just like smoke those but I guess

depends on the strength of the weed though I guess but like it's very hard to find specific weed in Australia you can't just like walk out and go is it not legal there it's uh depends on the strength of the weed though i guess but like it's very hard to find specific weed in australia you can't just like walk out okay is it illegal there it's very illegal uh no it's not oh it's not very criminalized it's it's so you unless you have like pounds and pounds you won't get in trouble what about medical is that a thing yeah that's a thing medical is a thing now yeah well then the weed there's probably like good then it's getting better well it's it's more like if you go and buy it from like a dealer it's like the only shit they will sell is like the highest possible thc

content because it's like they want everyone that's smoking it to be like oh that's the dankest shit ever so you're like unless you've got like a weed guy that can like be like yeah i've got all these different types of weeds mostly you just walk in and you get what you're given and uh most of the time it is like insanely fucking strong so it's like unless you've smoked a lot of it or you're just like chilling if you want to have like one joint before work then it's sort of not feasible because you're like i've never had a drug dealer with like options. All of college. Like they were pretty much all like,

this is what I have now. And it's like, okay. And like, you didn't know the difference. So it's like, Hey, I bought weed.

Does it get me high? Yeah. I smoked it and it got me high. And it's like, Oh, okay. Like that works. And now like, i feel like a pampered little bitch like i have plenty of weed to smoke in my house but like part of me is like i want to go try a new kind of weed like scotch like you

sit there and you'd be like oh yes i had this absolutely great uh mccallan 15 year the other day i think i'll break it out on a special occasion but it's just like i got these little Oh, yes, I had this absolutely great Macallan 15-year the other day. I think I'll break it out on a special occasion, but it's just like scabbard. I got these little containers that were a little bit ground up. How's the weed different? Like, weed's not just weed? No, it's higher quality. So, like, when you go to the dispensary here, they have, like, a little scale. It's completely different ratios of cannabinoids.

Yeah, it's much stronger. It has different ratios of cannabinoids. Yeah, it's much stronger. It has different ratios of cannabinoids, and the options are much clearer. So like they'll tell you. They'll be like, this one has more of this. So it's going to be an indica. It's going to be relaxing body hide.

This one's super strong sativa. This one's somewhere in the middle. Whereas when I was buying in college, it was like, hey, DD JerryD. Jerry, drug dealer Jerry, what kind of what do you have? And he's like, I got weed. And I'm like, that's what I'm here for. And that was and that was it. Like and then you went back and sometimes you'd smoke it and it would. And I didn't know at the time, really, but I'd hit it and I'd be like, this isn't like I guess it was more sativa.

And I didn't like that as much. I was like, I'm still high, but I don't like kind of oregano. This is kind of this is kind of like a pizza place. I'm there. I think we had a guy that would come to our house to sell us weed. So we'd just call him up. We'd be like, because he didn't want to deal out of his house. He didn't want to get caught.

So he would just deliver to people. And so we'd call him up, and he'd just rock up. He lived up the road, so he was on foot. He'd come down, and he'd just have a piece of buds. We used we used to call him deals on wheels and i can't even remember his fucking name i had a similar situation it was the kush cab and we yeah yeah it's so nice buying drugs legally just yeah i i mean like jesus christ i i i don't smoke like when i'm in australia because it's all that fucking sativa shit and it's like i just end up fucking getting in the paranoid but if i go to america i'm like i am in the first dispenser i can find i'm like give me the fucking like all the indicas and i'm just like just like kind of the vibe so the whole time i'm

always like give me the strongest indica you have and then like i'll go home with it and be like i'm gonna take like five big rips no 10 big rips and then like i take one it's like oh closest dispensary to me raleigh i don't know what states are around you it you? It's either Kentucky or West Virginia. I looked this up because I was... To me, the closest one is fucking... Where did I go? All the way to Illinois.

But the second closest one was like peeling off and heading your way. And I think it's... Zach, can you find a map with which states have legal weed? Yes. Recreational. I always find it weird that you guys have the different states. One's like, you will go to jail for 12 years. The other one's like, you can smoke it in the street.

Yeah. Our law should be more consistent. I disagree. I really like the way it is. I think what works for the people of Billings, Montana doesn't necessarily need to work or should work for the people in Crenshaw.

Yeah, definitely. Let me make this full size. Oh, you're good. Virginia. Right there. Oh, Virginia. That's not too far. Get on up north to Virginia. Motorcycle ride. Yeah, get in a slower ride home. that's not too far motorcycle ride yeah

and a slower ride home you guys are lagging behind Alabama you don't even know it's so sad oh wait Missouri's closer I bet I wonder if there's a dispensary down there in that bottom bitch part of southern Missouri Oh, wait. Is Missouri close? Oh, Missouri's closer, I bet.

I wonder if there's a dispensary down there in that bottom bitch part of southern Missouri that I could see. Some of us have family in that area. Where are you, roughly on the G? Roughly on the G? Me? Yeah. No, much more north than that, right? Atlanta. I'm in the city now.

That's not where Atlanta is, roughly? No. I mean, close. The GA is in the middle of the state, right? So how far could it be, no matter where Atlanta is? Maybe if the G were right on top of the G, it'd be there. A little higher. Probably two Gs.

Really? A little to the left. I mean, we could superimpose a map of the fucking... I mean, show us... Show us Atlanta! We'll never know where Atlanta is. Can you pull up my address, please? If that's a modern...

If that's a current map... I'm in a little five points. Did it have Missouri? Because Missouri is really current. It's a current map. I'm in a little five points. It's fully illegal. Did it have Missouri? Because Missouri is really current. Like it's a recent change. Yeah, so it must be. Yeah. So that's only six fully illegal states.

Not too bad. What's the pricing like? Did you say illegal? Yeah, that's what it looked like. There were six orange ones on there, and I think that's what it said. But the light green is like only the lowest THC. That's what North Carolina is,

and it means you can't buy anything. Light green is medical. To the left a little? There were two shades. There might have been three shades of green, but the lightest one was not legal. So there's Atlanta. Wow, top left. Here's my expectations.

Now we know. And the top right is Hartwell. My whole family on the map for some reason there's like heartwell where woody does his uh flippity deuce gymnastics and and and stuff uh it's water asking about uh the price of alabama to buy weed uh alabama does not have weed for sale as far as i know i bet i think they got medical no i was saying they were lagging behind meaning that georgia has stricter laws surrounding it than even alabama mississippi those other states down there so the pricing of it here is like republicans they have like premium stuff and then like less premium stuff

i guess like i got a quarter of some indica for like i think it was like 70 dollars around there 70 75 dollars for a quarter and that was for like normal and then like the some of it they only sell in eighths obviously to get you to buy more and so like some of the super strong stuff they they will only offer in an eighth and it's like 38 dollars for an eighth so the dispensary is it a situation where I know when I went to Illinois, the situation with the dispensaries was that it seemed like there were a couple of big sort of corporate type stores. It's like, Oh yeah,

this is, this is red leaf dispensaries. And you could, no matter where you went, you were still like buying from the same people. Technically. Is it like that? Or is it mom,

more mom and pop? There's like pretty much i think it's like a law that like a lot of the weeds sold in the dispensaries because of state stuff has to be grown in that state and so like so many of the things the same way you go to colorado and it's like from colorado from colorado or illinois from illinois from illinois it'll be like this is grown in missouri this is this strain the name of the dispensary like are there multiple dispensaries in your town? There are multiple different chains,

but there's a couple that are huge. There's one called N Bliss, and there's a bunch of locations of that. There's probably more than I saw last time because every time I go out of the house, there's another fucking dispensary. I have questions. Taylor, if you wanted to buy a legal pot right now,

could you walk there? No. No, I'd have to drive. How long is the drive in minutes not too bad like there's there's a couple near me like probably 15 like okay even that's a bit of a drive though like it's not nothing yeah probably yeah it's not like you can probably get gas closer than that oh yeah yeah i can get gas closer than that like there's also like i bet there's one closer than me now because i'm still going to the same

one i googled initially and was like closest dispensary i guess there's probably one like on the other side now i know where that is i never need to learn again yeah and like it's funny i thought that once it was legal i'd be going in there like give me this concentrate give me this fucking edible well i guess edibles don't count because we have a way stronger fucking sponsor for it but like all the other stuff it's like do you want to try this like disposable pen do you want to try this dab rig because like they also sell like rigs and glass there as well and uh we have a sponsor for those too and yeah hard to beat they're tremendous i'm gonna get high on the nail or whatever but like i'm just doing flour like and it's i think it's probably the cheapest way to do it and also you remember i remember i've taken lots of dab uh dab rips but

it is just so unnecessary most of the time like you can get fucking high as shit with regular weed you don't need to be like hey taylor you know you know how you were going to get high on that leaf right there? It's like, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. It's like, how about this? How about this, Jack? Science into the leaf. Now it's concentrated. And it's like, so it's going to be like smoking the leaf?

No, it's going to be uncomfortable. You know everything you like about that bud? Not the same. I love it. I love it. I always find that you have people that just keep smoking and smoking and smoking. It's like, it can only get

so high. You hit a wall. It's not like drinking. You're just wasting weed. Dabs will bust through the wall. I remember explaining to my lawyer what dabs were. Not a very cool lawyer. Well, you know, I was like, I explained to him, it's sort of like, weed's like beer and dabs are and you know like a very cool lawyer well you know like i was like i explained to him

i was like it's sort of like weeds like beer and dabs are like liquor he's like oh okay i understand now don't ever say that out loud don't repeat that he's like do not say that in court because we're trying to tell him it's the opposite right now. It's this therapeutic oil they make from weed. Kyle was rubbing it on his ears. We're doing the best we can with what we got. But, but I, I remember doing dabs with you in Colorado and,

and just, I was in the zone. I, I, that's when I was a true marijuana athlete. Okay. Me, my girlfriend, Taylor and uh and chiz and

i i i went and got the big big ass like 200 bong and we're ripping those torch powered dabs in the living room of that rental house trying to explain the magic rules yeah i can think yes yes it sounds way better than where i used to buy it like i haven't brought in years but we used to buy from this guy in the shitty neighborhood and then we went there one day and his house had been raided so we're like fucking it's the doors just like kicked off the fucking hinges and we're like i guess we can't go there anymore am i i'm in the car with one of my friends and i'm like man where the fuck are we gonna get weed like we want to get high this is this has got to happen like we got to get weed so we we called everyone we knew and we're like fuck there's no one no one we know and my mate has the idea he's like this place is a shitty neighborhood you could just knock on any fucking door and someone's got

weed and i'm like man you can do that like but i'm gonna wait in the car and this motherfucker just walks up to this random house it's like this fucking cinder block shithole and it has a massive 22 painted on the side of it and spray paint which i assume is their street number knocks on the door and this old lady answers and she's like hi darling can i help you and she and he's like yeah i was just just looking to buy some weed and she's like yeah no worries come in and just sells him weed we never even learned this this old bitch's name we called it 22 we just gave her we just gave her we gave like tons of our friends her address and they just like rock up this fucking house for this grandma that no one fucking knew they just buy weed off i was fucking weird man that's the perfect for the perfect drug deal low profile old lady she'd

always been there like uh she's retired and she'd always be like babysitting like fuck loads of kids like you go in there and there'd be like 20 kids sitting around the fucking telly just watching watching shit she's just selling weed out of the kitchen it's fucking hilarious is it one of those things where like at the door you're like this is a cool situation and you walk in you're like oh oh uh i. The granny meets you at the foyer. She's like, grass or ass? I will admit, compared to the other shit I have seen in that neighborhood before, that was the motherfucking nirvana for those kids

because I saw some pretty fuck shit in that neighborhood and it was definitely not nice. But, like, one night we went to the old dealer's house, the one that got raided. We roll up there at, like, 10 o'clock at night. So we're like, it's Saturday. We don't expect him to be there, but we're like, we're going to try because we're out.

Okay? So five of us packed into this car. So we're all, like, cars full full roll up to the house i go and knock on the door and he's not home and so i'm walking back down the uh down the down to the full parts of the car i'm like i guess no weed and this is random cunt is walking along the road he's like hey man are you looking for knife and i'm like uh yeah because it's a name of the drug dealer and he's like hey he's up at bloody bill's house mate he's uh he's fucking having a party up there and i'm like oh yeah sweet where is it and he's

like oh i don't remember the address but i can take you up there and we'll get some weed i'm like yeah and he goes i just gotta get me son first for me mom's house and i'm like okay i don't know what's happening here you get this this cunt walks the road. He gets his son and he walks back down the road. He's got like this seven-year-old son walking with him. Okay. He comes back and he lives next door to this ninth bloke. And he's like, oh, we won't all fit in the car. I'll just go up with you fellas and we'll just grab it.

This cunt leaves his son on the side of the road with me and my brother. Two cunts that he has never met in his entire life. His seven-year-old son just leaves him there on the side of the road. And he said, I don't know if I want to let you in because I don't know you, so I don't want you to go into my house. So he was worried about us, like, stealing his fucking PlayStation games or something. He just left his fucking son there with us and just went and got weed. And then came back you weren't gonna

steal his kid yeah you can't get high on him yeah this kid was fucking busted though like we're we're like standing there and i'm like so what do you talk to about what do you talk to a seven-year-old kid about i don't fucking know i'm like so how's school mate he's like i don't like school they call me inbred there i'm like well i can fucking i can see that and then i'm like what do you do when i call you in what do they call when they call you yeah yeah i said what do you do when they call you inbred he goes this and then he just winds back and this fucking seven-year-old kid just punches me in the fucking nutsack as hard as he can and i just get folded by this random drug dealer's fucking seven-year-old

in the middle of the fucking street but did you get your weed yeah yeah he came back with the weed like that guy was really happy he got he got a little nug he got he got commissioned on his nug enterprise but like poor little kid yeah that kid has no fucking future and no presence seemingly that horrible father his life is fucked from the get-go yeah he'll be fine it's price fighting people are you just get a shitty roll of the dice yeah sometimes you're dealing drugs yeah australian he's probably leaving his kid with other fucking strangers so i can get drunk i mean yeah he's trying to get rid of that kid that's what's going on maybe One of those petrol huffers. There's always a bigger fish and there's always a shittier hoe to row, as they say.

As they say, indeed. Hoe to row. I haven't heard that. You don't know that? It's row to hoe. Oh, row to hoe. Yeah. Yeah.

See, that makes sense now. So much more sense. Fuck! Yeah. I hate that on the show when I'm like, in my head, there's like a really good one-liner and then you say it and it's like, and then...

It's like, fuck! Ruined it. I'm going to think about that later and I hate myself. You can't win an insult or a one-liner if you stutter. No. I can't imagine that. How about one-liner if you stutter. Or make a grammatical error. Oh, yeah.

Well, I lose. Fuck. You can't do it. Or a speech impediment. That's a show. It is. Anything we want to pimp, Slush? Oh, not really. No?

Alright, check out Slush Pub. You'll find him. Check out Slugspubby. Google him. You'll find him. Check out Barrow Trauma. Fun game. And Sam Hyde's thing. Yeah. All right.

Oh, my God. Yeah. 6.44. Good night.