Painkiller Already - PKA 651 W/ Sam Hyde And Jet Neptune: Fishtank Season 2 Confirmed, Woody Gets Baited, Going Behind The Curtain

Episode Date: June 10, 2023

is um hey all right pka 651 oh boy we're getting ready to go here ladies and gentlemen what i told you told him yeah the sponsors i will get to it later on i mean you know um lock and load dbg of course um waiting on the link to change in the top right we'll see very little time and then lock and load i'm probably probably some other stuff. And Blue Chew and Freeze Pipe. Oh my god. You ever put a Freeze Pipe inside of me? Zach, go ahead and pretend I have none of those in front of me right now. And I need every one of them.

Go ahead and send those links over. Zach and what's his producer's name? Sam Hyde and Jet Neptune should be joining us a bit later. That's what I was trying to say and I wasn't even close. Thank you for your help. Jet Neptune sounds like a featured dancer.

You've been waiting all night at the strip club saving your money for Jet Neptune to take the stage because she's got fake ass and fake titties and she just does crazy acrobatics on the pole. Jet Neptune's a hot chick. Coming to the stage. Jet Neptune's a hot chick. Coming to the stage! Jet Neptune's a superhero to me.

Maybe a sea-based one. A sea-based one? No, Jet Neptune, that's like his rap name. I think he's a rapper. Not a dancer name? No. I was told that the fish tank thing was heavily influenced by Mr. Jet. That it's perhaps even his baby.

Yes. We can talk about that if they pop in later. the fish tank thing was heavily influenced by Mr. Jet, that it's perhaps even his baby. Yes, yeah. Well, we can talk about that if they pop in later, but it's definitely, I thought it was more Sam's thing off the start, and then it became clear like, oh, this is like Jet Neptune's baby, and Sam is almost like the Carnival Barker facilitator of this whole thing,

because everybody knows who Dr. jason cold striker is you need both you need a good premise and you need a guide who to like run the show for any kind of reality show or anything like that this is kind of a freak show so yeah i look forward to them popping in yeah i was asking before we we started like what do you do to your your foot calluses because i got like oh yeah dude as soon as kyle brought that up we're like we got to get started we got to strike while the iron's hot. This is good. Podcast magic. Handling foot calluses.

I know a lot of you out there suffer from foot calluses like I do. Dude, I just allow them to accumulate. I swear to God, I'm getting taller. I'm 6'1", now, bitch. My feet are disgusting. That's exactly why my toenails curl under. My shoes don't fit right anymore, though, so I got to get them knocked off. I've got, I think it's a plantar wart or something like that.

You know the callus on your big toe? Like that little pad it's got? Below the soft thumbprint part of it? pad it's got like below the soft thumbprint everything yeah i've got like inside there there's this little core of pain that i keep cutting out and then keeps growing back how are you cutting it out oh my god i'll so i'll take uh i'll take a razor blade like like a box cutter the kind that you can get as much blade as you want and i'll slowly start planing it down like i'm cutting layer after layer of callus off very carefully because, you know, you don't want to cut yourself. And you get down to a point. It's just like fixing a dent in a car where you're like, oh, there's the problem.

There's this little darker than everything else core. And then I start like cutting around that core, like with the tip of the razor blade. And then I grab it with tweezers and i literally tear it from my from my foot and it's so painful there's no blood it's just every time i'm tearing it it's like when you pull bubble gum apart how it's all stringy and weird but it's tough it's tough like buffalo hide or something and it's like i'm jerking with all my might to keep the tweezers on it and like i'm thinking about going to needle nose how often are you having to to record this area like every three months or so like like because it like like right now it's fine i can put weight on it but if i if i forget

about it then all of a sudden that toe is really sensitive so i start putting on my weight on the left side of my foot so i'm not putting it on the toe and then i build up this crazy callus but i got the box cutter so is that a wart do warts just if you do they just keep coming back um no uh so so i've read that this is called a planter wart i think planter isn't spelled like the peanuts it's it's but it's the other way and uh yeah and i don't know what they are i don't know if it's exactly what i have but it's this thing that keeps coming back in my goddamn toe and it it's almost like putting weight on it pushes all the way into the nerve and like hurts so if i cut it out there's nothing to hit the nerve and i'm fine like i can run

jump and all that shit um but like doing like box jumps or something when it's not cut out is excruciating kyle explain planner's not spelled like you thought and i'm like oh noted taylor already knew he can spell anything i knew it i knew the plantar yeah yeah i have not had that but i would go to a doctor well it's not don't get i don't feel like it's doctor worthy i really don't so the doctor for me is this annoying fucking thing. I really dislike going. And I usually like to bundle up a bunch of ailments before I go. So when I go, he's like, so what's the problem?

Well, my foot, but also my back and my hand. And look at this thing in my eye. You know, I like to cover all my bases when I go. It's easily solved. You should take up acrobatic paragliding, and then you'll have a whole host of shit to work through. I have to be i got a lot of shit done uh was when they found the cancer right i went in to get some moles cut off that i've been putting off and i got the one on my chest and um i got i was gonna there's one on the back of my head like in my hair that you'll never know was

there unless you cut my hair i wanted that gone and then the thing on my eye but we got sidetracked at like testosterone eye and maybe one other thing and the cancer just roadblocked us we never got back to the other stuff so when they build up again i'll go yeah it seems like you got a good handle on the foot thing so i i haven't had a plant or wart but i have had a wart removed before have you ever have you guys done that never had a wart never had a teenager i had one here on my finger and, uh, they put something like a soldering iron on it, except it was incredibly cold. And, uh, it hurt like a little bit as they froze it solid. And, but it was totally tolerable. You know, they numbed it first.

And then over the course of the next two weeks, the little core just sort of fell out and then it healed and there's not even a scar. Another thing I got going on right now, this one's extra fun. Do you know what? So your earlobe, it's actually your ear lobule, the little, the little thing at the bottom of your ear, that little cute part. How is there something wrong with that, man? What could go wrong? Yeah.

How did you break your earlobe? Yeah. So I've got, um, like, I don't know. It's like a cyst in there, in the, in the, in the lobule. Yeah. So I've got, um, like, I don't know. It's like a cyst in there, in the, in the, in the lobule. Yeah.

It feels like there's a BB in there and it's, it's like get, it's like infected. So every day it's a little bit bigger. So at some point I'm going to Lance it with a big hot needle. I mean, I'll let it cool off, but yeah.

And then I'm going to pop that bitch. That's happened. This is the third time in my life that it's come back. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like there's a lot of things that are like that. Like I've got, um, I'll get this, uh, zit on my back between my shoulder blades and it'll get incredibly painful. I'll usually, I usually need help.

And, and, and, uh, when it pops though, it's audible. You hear it. Pow. Not like that, but you do hear it pops though it's audible you hear it pow not like that but you do hear it and it's like a blow gun like lots of blood lots of blood like when you look at it

it's not just swollen it's black on the tip like it's not even a white head it's like black from all the blood and angriness it's accumulated from half-assed squeezing yo for sure and then but when i finally pop it it'll be crazy and i'll be like no don't stop get it all and you gotta like massage that bitch and i'm like i don't care how much it bleeds i don't get it off and then like three years ago come and i'll be like she's coming back and i'll keep it as clean as i can i'll rub it down with rubbing alcohol you know to like dehydrate it but it's coming it's coming right now i'm about three months before it's time to get in again i've never had a zit that thank your mother every day every day thank you mother for any possibility my skin had to fucking turn on me like a traitorous blanket that covers me day and

night dude accutane i can't tan to save my life i got like one small it was such a small red dot that i couldn't determine if it was a pimple or if it was an enormous amount because i take boiling hot showers yeah and i like got in my own head i'm like oh my god did the accutane wear off in my 30s am i gonna get acne now and the next day it was like oh no it was dry skin like that's another reason why you're like such a good candidate for steroids you know like like that's one of the for me anyway that's another reason why you're like such a good candidate for steroids you know like like that's one of the for me anyway that's always been the biggest side effect the biggest problem was was the acne that it caused like on my shoulders and back uh you know that was the the roughest part it was and on my like delts too like like it like you could see them on my on my

shoulders that was unfortunate for a little while it took a while to get rid of them but you're you can never get acne you're like uh or like you've been inoculated i've never had a zit on my back shoulders anywhere it's but like i i also had high cholesterol as like an 11 year old because because like it it ruins your cholesterol did you know that like like young kids get on accutane, they don't even give kids Accutane for the most part anymore, unless it's real bad, because there were a lot more. I'm asking if it's a lifelong cholesterol issue or just while you're on it. They said it was just while I was on it. And yet. And yet.

But this is likely a lifetime of diet that resulted in my cholesterol now being a bit high. That's weird, because you eat so clean. Yeah. I mean, is there cholesterol in cheese? I guess you're using lean chicken, you know? Is there cholesterol in cheese, Kyle? No, I think it's the ribs. I think it's the ribs turning on you.

It could be the ribs. I haven't made ribs in a while. The last couple of times I've used the smoker i've been i've been like doing the pulled chicken or the beer can chicken just because it's still you're still using the smoker and it's still fun but it's not terrible for you yeah it's still the chicken makes so much sense and brisket maybe too is brisket doesn't have a lot of fat i don't think brisket has a lot of fat does it ton of fat it's that's why it's so goddamn good i don't like it i went to texas dude i i've been to texas a bunch but i was down there with some real cowboys one time and i was like you guys have your own barbecue huh he's like hell yeah son and like

that shit was bad man i didn't want to say i ate it all they give you this huge platter with like eight different things and uh like three meats and eight sides and i ate every bit of it i was like oh oh george barbecue ain't got nothing no and i'm thinking like dude our barbecue is so much better than yours like our sauce is infinitely better i'm on the other team i i'm so i'm from north carolina and north carolinians are very proud of their barbecue and anytime i go somewhere else i'm like i think north car Carolina barbecue might be the worst. We might be bottom of the rankings in this thing. That's such a funny angle.

I did not see that coming. I wish I could be proud of my hometown. What's it like? It's mustard based, right? No, it's vinegar based. They just put vinegar on pork.

And, you know, of course, they don't like prepare the pork in any kind of decently healthy or good way. They just pour vinegar on basically shitty pork and pretend it's the best. And I don't I don't know. I don't see why you're defending this. That's one Missouri thing we fucking have is like St. Louis and Casey have excellent fucking barbecue. Let me tell you what I like and what I consider to be Georgia barbecue because it's just I know the guy that owns the barbecue joints

and it says Georgia barbecue on the side and it seems like that's stuff I like pulled pork that's like so shredded and tender that you could just make it into the tiniest rice grains if you want it with your bare hands and then I like it's a vinegar it's a vinegar like hot sauce like the barbecue sauces and it's runny like water like you have to be careful when you pour it on like a barbecue

sandwich or you're like dunk it i would take that it i would take that little uh cup it's like three ounces of vinegar barbecue and when my parents were asleep when i was little i'd be in there with the with like chunks of pork meat like dunking it like so fucking good oh i know exactly north carolina it sounds a lot like what we call bar barbecue but maybe so yeah i think i like the barbecue sauce more like a little make it like a tomato based smoky sweet kind of. Yes. Double up on the sweet. That's where Kansas City BBQ is too indulgent. The amount of sugar in our sauces is insulting.

It's delicious, but you can feel yourself getting fatter, getting slower. Too much sugar is like too much money or too good looking. These are just not things that happen. You want Kansas City style barbecue. I would like the North Carolina kind. I love vinegary barbecue.

What's that mean? It's like too much money. There's no such thing. It's like a girl too pretty with too much class. Something about a car too fast. I can't read the lyric. That doesn't matter. The next lyric should totally be about it.

Too much ass. Too much ass, yeah. I think that's what he said in concert, but on the radio. Talk about her. She's got too much class. know and she definitely did that yeah oh my god what's have y'all seen this country music star quote unquote with the gigantic ass her name's miss laney something something if you type in miss laney and then booty you'll get her and she's well aware that she has the biggest ass in country music for her and and

she's just all about it like her whole like her socials are all her shaking her ass every music video is her just just badonka donking across like this but i'm i i seem like a lot i'm the outlier here oh wow it's a lot i fat she is. I can't tell what's happening on the other side of that guitar. The guitar placement. Fupa that matches it. She weighs 97 pounds. What? No, no, no. I'm kidding.

She's probably a little thick. A little thicker than you would like, even. But I think that that is... I'm not saying it's perfect or anything. I'm just saying this lady with the guitar has got a huge ass ass she does have a huge ass yeah good for her capitalizing favorite pictures is she a good singer or do you have no idea i tried to listen and it was so generic at least it wasn't that new age poppy pop country it was it was kind of fun i like country to be kind of i don't know more on the acoustic side and more on the rough voice. Alright. That's not her.

Is that her? No. No. Now he's memeing on us. I was like, is this un-Photoshopped? No. Is that your camera roll? Is he just putting his own camera? That's Zach.

Is that really her? If that's her, then fuck off. Anybody can buy those checks. So there's no way to know. Probably. Wow, that's her. I'll get to the bottom of that later. Why don't you upload that?

Why don't you show people that? If that's her. Yeah, right? That'd be like Arnold coming out and be like, my penis is extra tiny today look and it's like you actually had a mic like why would you reveal that you have a micro penis on tiktok arnold like you have a bag you're 87 you had it in the bag and then you take this l on the way out what are you doing arnold wouldn't you think less of arnold if you had any actually

i would think more i'd be like he did all of that with a two-inch penis? Holy shit. Wow. It would certainly be I would think more of him or less of him. I wouldn't have the same opinion. I would think more. I think you're right about more. It'd be like, you know what? He was like, I'm going to have to get something going here.

And then he got jacked. He became the best actor of his generation. So there's a fighter, Michael Bisping, and he was kind of average at best, but he's one of those guys who's a company man. He will show up. He will put on a good show. He will take an ass beating for you

if that's what you need for him to do. He's here. And so he got his title shot. He got his title. And I always thought him, again, a little better than average, but not one of the greats. Then I found out he was doing most of it with one fucking eyeball.

Like for the last couple of his fights, he had one eyeball in his head. And I was like, oh, well, that just chunks you up a couple levels on the block, man, if you were doing that shit blind. I didn't know that. You know what I liked about that story? I like that he had a fake eyeball, but nobody knew. So he would lie to the athletic commission, he'd lie to the doctors

they'd be like, do you see this? he'd be like, sure, probably and they're like looking in his eyes and he's like nervous that he's not going to get away with the fact that he's a one-eyed fighter and he didn't reveal it until he retired. He has a glass eye? Yes. He has a glass eye

so he reached in live on camera and pulled his eyeball out to reveal this dead eye that's like down in there and ruined. They don't even take the old one out. It wasn't a blank space? That's what it looked like to me. It looked like he had this old

white dead eye out of a science fiction movie down in there, living. You might want to hold onto it just in case like technology advances. And I agree, right? Like, let's not throw it away. We might be able to shoot some stem cells in it and a butt cheek or

something. Yeah. I had some green onions the other day. I thought they were trash. Threw him a little cup of water. Boom. We're having nachos tonight. Look at you.

Life hands you lemons. You make lemonade. God damn right. I'm sorry. Green onions you lemons, you make lemonade. You're goddamn right. I'm sorry. Underrated food. Taco Bell took them off the menu back in 2006. What were they doing? Nobody noticed?

I did. Taco Bell sucks. Remember old Kyle? Back when he would have Taco Bell and invent new meals for him? Now he's counting calories and protein. I remember there was a four-year period on this show where Kyle did not eat a vegetable. No, no, no. There was a 24 year period where Kyle didn't eat a vegetable.

I'm not even kidding. I didn't start eating green vegetables until five years ago. Until five. I'm 37. Until five years ago, I started eating vegetables. I had never had asels sprout or a piece of broccoli or a green bean an asparagus sprout um i had never had anything more than like the let you go the salad bar with the tongs whatever's in that big pinch that's what i've had that was it

you know like banana peppers you know some some like green peppers on pizza but never and then i was like all right i guess we have to eat spinach and stuff now. Do you like Brussels sprouts? I love Brussels sprouts. I always thought of them as the most disgusting of vegetables. In TV and popular media, that would be the one where kids would be like, ew, no, no.

Dude, in real life, they're the best vegetable. You can cook them so much. You can make them this sweet little treat, or you can overcook them and make this charred crispy thing or they can have oil and pepper and salt on them. That leans into what I was saying. I think Brussels sprouts are like an ugly chick that is particularly

skilled with makeup. You can take this vegetable that doesn't really have much to offer and prepare it in delicious ways. I'm a little text for you. Oh, my little Brussels sprout. Get that greasy hair out of your face.

Get that greasy hair out of... Dude, that's what you call your girlfriend? My little Brussels sprout? Let her know she's a fixer-upper. No, it's because her pee stinks. My girlfriend used to... She's my asparagus. I had a girlfriend that would joke that when she

woke up in the morning she looked like a baby possum um and uh and so i would call her my possum baby endearingly when we woke up because she did she was all pink little critter i saw a story earlier today about probably ind. Doesn't matter. One of those places where people shit in the streets and stuff. And this guy had been mocked his whole life because it looked like he was pregnant. He had this huge, like swollen belly. And they thought it was maybe an abscess or fluid or whatever. But again, shit street street shitters. So they didn't have any medical stuff going on.

And finally, they go to the doctor they find out it's his conjoined twin that has been living inside of him for the last 40 years and so they start operating and gallons of fluid are pouring out like like like oddly covered colored fluid and then they find chunks of bone and limbs and genitals and then hair and then a jaw and then a piece of skull and then more bone and more hair and they keep pulling it out this guy had been living inside of him their whole life i don't know if the surgery killed it they weren't very clear about this is true then republicans say about these really late term abortions this guy yes this guy waited till his like 95th trimester. It's funny, but

I read at the bottom, they were like, his whole life he has been mocked in his village. They told him he was pregnant, and it turned out, in a way, they were right, the children. Of course, now that he's returned, they all laugh and say, he had his baby. He had his baby. I'm like, how do you end an article this way?

It was so dark and sad. It was like an awful life. They even added, they'm like, how do you end an article this way? It was so dark and sad. It was like an awful life. They even added, they're like, he did not want to see what we took out, even though we offered several times. It's like, why do you keep trying to show him? No, dude, you gotta see what we pulled out of you. There's fucking teeth in it.

There were, yeah. What are those tumors called that have teeth and hair and shit growing out of them? Have you seen those? I have. Those are scary. Did you see that guy in Egypt, Kyle? I know you're on Reddit, too.

There was a tourist in Egypt who got attacked and killed by a shark. I watched him die to the sounds of music. Did you notice the song that was playing? It was muted. I had it muted. I have them all muted by default. It was this moment of mine or something like that. It was an ironic song to be playing. I was muted on. I had it muted. I have them all muted by default. It was this moment of mine or something like that. It was an ironic song to be playing. I was like, this, oh no, this magic moment.

That's what was playing? So tender and so true. Could last forever when I met you. And the shark's eating him alive. Dude, at one point, the shark, I think, had him in like a big, it was a big, big, big, big shark. I pictured the shark holding him by the chest and abdomen, and his two legs were sticking straight up in the air as it pulled him down.

It kept letting him go. He'd bite him a little bit, and the guy was trying to swim to shore, and he died. It was pretty terrible. I saw at one point the man's both of his legs came out of the water in sort of like a v uh which to me said that the shark maybe twisted or turned him in his limb his arm in a way and he was trying to go with it who fucking knows but yeah that that's a terrible terrible way to die i know you've said you don't have like a fear of sharks when you're in the

water because it is so rare when i'm with people when i'm alone it turns that was the first as soon as i saw it people don't know he was by himself he was swimming solo about 100 yards out and i was like oh that is the situation where i get terrified of sharks yeah i don't even know about 100 yards out like that's where you well yeah 100 yards or more i'm very afraid of them why were you because you used to go way further than that yeah on your your surfboard you just were kind of nervous the whole time well without a surfboard sometimes i'd bring a friend i was a lifeguard so we would the first and last hour of every day you were allowed to exercise as a lifeguard so we'd either

row the boats or swim or just like run up and down the block on the beach up and down your block and uh or some combination you know like swim these big run down the beach swim out across whatever then one of the four legs would be sand okay and uh one of my favorite things that wasn't crowded or anything was to swim out so far you couldn't see the land anymore but if you had your your board you weren't no no even with my board it's being alone that would make me scared of sharks i don't know why it's not like the other guy's gonna be able to protect me from a shark yeah but it's the way my psyche work like as soon as i'm solo yeah those other guys it's like well you know there's only a one in five chance on the person that gets

am i crazy to think that if he'd had, like, a good knife, he'd have been in a better situation? Or would the shark just not care if you stabbed it a few times? I've watched the video. He couldn't have been in a worse situation. The shark's in total control of this engagement. Like, if you had, like, a knife, like, as a surfer or whatever, kind of down above your ankle, just strapped tightly to your shin,

like a six- or eight-inch, like, straight stabby kind of Rambo knife, nothing so big that it's uncomfortable, but just a blade. So you're not unarmed slapping a great shark. I don't know. I'd feel better dying with a knife in my hand. At least they'd know. Yeah, this is the one he stabbed. Sure, get it.

Let's torture this one. Yeah, you'd hope that maybe even if you don't win the engagement, that the shark would be like, I prefer fights where I don't take any losses. If I get in his eye, like maybe he'll quit. I'm just, I'd rather be armed in some way. i recognize that it's gonna probably kill me i don't know if i ever surf with a knife my friends used to though and it wasn't sharks it was fishermen fishermen would fucking cast at you with those fucking lead weights all the time so what the pier does is as the water sweeps sideways along the beach, the pilings that form the pier cause the sand to kind of build up along the pier. Which means that the waves break on that slightly shallower section and peel off the pier.

So the best place to surf is next to the pier. Boom. Also, it has some other advantages. Like you can easily tell where you are because you're not far from something that's not moving. Whereas if you just wide out in the open, fuck, you might have moved 100 feet and you don't know. And then the next set rolls in and you're in the wrong spot. So anyway, the fishermen, though, hate having you near the pier. They think you're scaring the fish away.

I don't know enough about fishing to know if they're right or not. But I do know I don't like fishermen so they would cast at you and the surfers with the knives would just cut their lines and they'd lose their lures and their weights and whatever so it was kind of a i don't know yeah that's annoying now the fishermen were in the right we were breaking the law i think i've seen um divers who like dive down to get oysters or some sort of like shellfish have have little knives down there like i'm like describing but obviously it's not for self-defense man that yeah that guy died eh i didn't see it looks like the headline said he did yeah did you guys see what kind of shark it is i can't find in the comments what what kind it was where was interested egypt i don't i'm way out of my depth it didn't look huge

but it did look huge to me there's a there was a spot where i saw the gap between his dorsal fin and his tail fin the dorsal the back and uh it was it looked to me like it was four feet from the middle of his back to his tail i'm like this thing must be 20 feet from nose to tail. Oh, no. You might be right. I found a clip here that says the shark has been caught, but it's like, this is just a picture of people kind of torturing the shark. Yeah. Well, good for them.

Get it out of your system. Yeah, get it out of your system. Fuck up a couple sharks. Every time we lose one of ours, the sharks need to feel the hurt. They need to know... How many sharks should we kill for every man they take? Fucking tens of thousands. I think we'll run out quickly. Tens of

thousands. My lord, there are not enough sharks! In Australia, there probably are. This is something... Yeah, no, sharks. I've watched enough Discovery Channel documentaries to know they don't add anything to the environment. Nothing.

You know what you get without sharks? Just a bountiful amount of fish. More fish than we could ever eat. That's what you get without sharks. Is the food problem? Not anymore. Not without sharks stealing all the fish. It seems like we should eat sharks as much as possible. I know you do eat shark.

And that way you have more tuna too. Yeah. Maybe. Absolutely. If sharks tasted better, we would eat them more. They're just, they're not that great. Some people say I just solve world hunger. I'm just throwing that out there.

I think we all just did. We'll all be eating algae before too long. Don't worry about that. Not us, but our grandchildren for sure not your grandchildren woody but me and taylor's eating algae we'll be subsisting on uh like those spirulina farms you have to make it it'll be like an algae paste because that's like um in the future that's always what happens they have to to feed everyone efficiently they have to go like mainline that

shit yeah bugs and and fucking algae stuff that you can grow really quickly and simply i want to live in a future with soylent green that's the people it's made of people yeah good macros probably if it is honestly probably not i don't think so if it's made of people yeah plus plus you know for sure you're going to get some of those. Prions? Prions. I was going to say prions. Maybe you're right.

Is it prions? Wait, what are these things? I'm not familiar. They're these things in your brain, and if you eat the kind from your species, it's real bad. It's how you get mad cow disease. Really?

So you wouldn't want to eat another person's brain? Well mean i don't tell you what to do yeah but you can totally eat like a cow's brain it's incredibly nutritious it's the the brain is full of calories because it's like i think i've read how many calories the brain uses per day and it's pretty crazy yeah it depends on the person day and it's pretty crazy yeah some people out there not burning a lot of calories yeah it's true now that would be interesting if you could gauge intelligence but but but that all that would show was how hard someone's brain was working so some nincompoop could be running at 100 to watch netflix some recharge just holding like a cylinder looking at the star-shaped hole on the toy like but it's redlining it's redlining it um i i'm done with from i'm gonna keep watching it

and i don't want to talk tv just yet we're so early in the show but later on remind me to talk about the fucking silo because that i love the silo and i want to thank whoever in the the the hangout the other day recommended silo. I didn't watch it because of you, but you did your best. Somebody else that I actually care about recommended it. And I watched it when they told me to. And,

uh, it is my favorite show. It's on Apple TV. We'll talk about it later. But, um, I wanted to talk about, um,

the Savannah bananas. Do you know about the Savannah bananas? No idea. Not at all. Is it a girl band? So I know y'all don't like and i'm not either on on tiktok and stuff but but the savannah bananas were this baseball team in savannah georgia that was about to go bankrupt uh like a minor league team and they came up with some new ideas

to improve attendance some new rules as well first of all the games don't go beyond two hours we call it a ball game at two hours second of all all, all you can eat food, $20, included with a ticket. Third of all, the team is insane. They do all sorts of acrobatics. They do coordinated dances. Their uniforms are bright yellow with bananas on them. They'll come out with the bat on fire, literally. They'll come out like stilts fire literally they'll come out on like like like stilts like like wearing stilts um the best is when the pitch i saw the pitcher shirtless with a cowboy hat doing like like twerking and the whole infield is twerking with him and then and then like it's part of his wind up so then he pitches and it's it's so they like globe like

like harlem globetrotters like playing around goofing? Yeah, they're sold out. They're sold out for a long time. They were about to go under, and now they're the most popular baseball team maybe in the world. Forget the Yankees. These guys are where it's at. Are they more popular than the Braves now? Probably.

I don't know how you rank that. The Braves are doing awesome. But yeah, the Savannah Bananas. Do you have any pictures of them, Zach? The uniforms along are hilarious. Yeah, that's cool. I'd watch that. On a more mild level, the Carolina Hurricanes,

that's my local hockey team in the NHL, had to do a similar type thing. That's great. This is great. So yeah, hockey, not naturally popular in Raleigh, North Carolina. So these guys start being a bunch of jerks. You know, even before that, we were the first team, I think, to have ice girls like it. You have to come out and like, you know, clean the ice and stuff.

And most people would hire whatever, like 14 year old boys who just would love to have that job and exist on the ice. We hired like strippers basically. Yeah. They wore the tiniest little shirts and they that job and exist on the ice we hired like strippers basically yeah they wore the tiniest little shirts and they went out and caught on quickly yeah it was really i have a friend at cisco who fucked one of them um nice yeah uh it was actually a really really does he have any news on trades it involves he get out? But anyway, yeah. And now they do like celebration dances and they have like

week, you know, they're hockey players, but like little choreographed celebrations and shit like that. And it's just something to see. I like when they celebrate a little bit. Sometimes they get like too offended in hockey. Sometimes there was that guy like eight years ago who like scored a

goal and then pretended to like shoot the net with his stick as a gun like like scored and then label something boom and like probably was and and they took that as offense like oh you're pretending to shoot our goalie huh and then they're like go over there and they like we're starting to rough them up and i just was kind of like guys come on like it's kind of silly right like it's the finger guns hurt your feelings do you need to you know what you guys need to be a little more upset yeah you guys need to be a little more upset about how this goal happened you know some bad defense he's got an imaginary bazooka you better be careful be careful they're like guys their hands and knees being tanks yeah i'm not even gonna finish watching the stanley cup well i will but damn it vegas is gonna win a cup five years into six years into their existence those fuckers i know those fuckers

appearance too right their first year in existence maybe yeah yep their first year in existence uh they they lost what to the washington capitals and yeah i know that yeah yeah i did you really yeah i did i didn't know but i thought if i agree hockey things i know hockey things i know that was such a weird three like yeah they did lose to the capitals i was reading that earlier i know yeah five years ago yeah i remember you being um like like literally saying this five years ago when they were they're like if they win one their first year when we have played for 97 fucking seasons we used to be the st louis ant men we haven't you know that's that is kind of annoying i guess when expansion team comes in and just knocks one out of the park. But the way the NHL rules worked, I remember five years ago being like,

yeah, it kind of seems like it's meant to do that. They get a player from every team or so, right? Like two players from every team? Pretty much, yeah. They made every player leave more exposed people to pick than they had for any other expansion in history because they wanted Vegas to immediately be competitive so that they couldn't

have some. Basically, they wanted to avoid the Arizona Coyotes again, which is just a dog shit team. He does have, he's like invested with them a good bit and Gary Bettman won't let them leave. How confident are you that it was like they wanted Vegas to be a top

team? Because maybe I'm innocent and fell for the ruse, but I thought they were like, whoa. We didn't want the Coyotes thing to happen again where they just get wrecked for the next decade. But we overshot the mark by accident. And I believed it. I might be a fool. I don't even think there was a conspiracy or anything there other than like them being like,

we need to make them competitive. Like it, there's like some revisionist history with like, I remember at the time after they picked their team, the, like the narrative, like of people was like, this team is going to be way,

way better than most expansion teams. But like, you know, come on, are they going to be competing with the capitals the bruins you know the blues the good teams at the time and no one thought that and so like but then after they became like world beaters everyone was like of course they get there it handed to them and it's like no nobody thought that jonathan marsh so was going to come from florida and suddenly be a great

player nobody thought that william carlson was going to become a 40-goal scorer out of nowhere. If it's six years later, there must not be very much overlap on that team in this one. No, not too much. And also, Vegas fucked over their goodwill with players a good bit because they traded so many people

underhandedly found out on Twitter where they would tell people for signing, like, yeah, we want you to be part of the golden Knights organization for years to come. And like four months later, the person's like, yes, they tell me, they want me on theme. And then I go on Twitter and I see at the mansion, it says you trade to New York city. And I say, okay, I suppose. And it's like, it's like, like, what are you going to like?

Yeah. Cause I know like the NHL player association has been like, Hey, okay i suppose and it's like it's like like what are you gonna like not even a gm yeah because i know like the nhl player association has been like hey you should probably like you can't how disrespected would you feel like i would be furious if i were a professional athlete and the way i find out i'm being traded is by an at mention from like a third party like like like a dave portnoy is letting me know that i'm fucking that i'm going i'm gonna have to live in cleveland now yeah i'd be pissed it's like dude i'm a professional athlete in this world right like it's it's like i need a fucking moving company fuck i feel like i've had worse one time i was manager of accounts payable at this construction company. And I was young and I wasn't doing the

job very well. I was basically covering for other people that did their job poorly. And it caused me to do my job poorly and I got fired. Okay. So as I'm getting fired, I don't even know it. I know I'm on like thin ice a little bit. And my manager comes in and we sit in this like big conference room, but we're not on the end of the table and he starts talking to me about like some of the issues that we're having and what we're working through and i'm giving him like you know my ideas and how things can get better and and what i think some of the root causes are and this is like 90 minutes of this and then he gets interrupted he has to take a call so he comes back to me like two hours later and like another 30 minutes again he's interrupted he has to take a call and then like to it all day

long he fired me and everything seemed to be more important than me as he's like 23 maybe that guy's a douchebag yeah fuck that guy that's really inconsiderate i would do i would there would be some malicious shit going on like couldn't you have gone in and changed a one to a zero or somewhere in the back end and just that's my understanding of computers i deleted all of your money i would have had to i think it may be burke christian i was listening to him talk about getting fired from a place and they were like, oh yeah, but can you stay to the end of the day? Oh yeah, I can stay to the end of the day.

And then went, he was in charge of mailing stuff out. So he just mailed it all to the wrong people that day. It's like, yeah, if you fire me and then you expect me to work out this day, you're going to leave me here with fucking keys to the castle. I'm going in the back to do some shit.

Yeah. I remember some of the greatest weeks of my career were my two week notice. People would dread that. Like, oh, I have to give two weeks notice. That sucks. I'm still going to be here. I'm like, no, you don't get it. These two weeks are the best two weeks of your career while working here.

Like I'd work. It turned five o'clock, right? I'm like Fredud fred fucking flintstone sliding down the back of a dinosaur when that five o'clock bell rings i'm out of there they want that they're like what do you know can you stay late and help us with this and i was like man i'd love to but can't boom i would never say no like i would always like i wasn't that guy but you're just like yeah no no this is there's nothing in it for me i totally do this job for money and i'm out yeah yeah i'm somewhere in the middle on like i

on reddit it's man it's hard to read reddit comments like like anti-work type stuff yeah but i'm somewhere in the middle on some of it though some people will be like they want they expect me to stay i would like a subreddit called some work right some work some work or or enough work sufficient labor yeah but but these they'll be like oh don't you ever ask me to stay a minute late don't you ever ask me here a minute early don't you expect me to talk to you after the fucking clock goes off and it's like man you are doing like the bare minimum and that's fine in a lot of careers if you want to call them that certainly in a lot of jobs the bare minimum is plenty but if you you guys always talk about wanting this living wage and you want the lowest possible wage to be the living wage it sounds like you want to do the bare minimum and get the bare minimum and i i don't know i've always just when

i was 19 i wanted to work so hard i wanted to outwork everybody i was like these old men can't fucking hang y'all got kids my age that you've got to take care of y'all are fucked like i can not me though i got two albanians back at home i got two fucking ex-soviet bloc motherfuckers at my house who think three hours of sleep a night isn't and i want to work hard because they're going to force me to drink a 40 of some ukrainian lager when i get home and i don't want it yeah i'm with you they the anti-work subreddit sometimes i'm completely on board with them this is an asshole boss that like you've approved pto you're fucking in at the beach right now and they're telling you to come in tomorrow no you you are bad at planning i you've known i wasn't going to be here or available these

days you need to work it out why are you even texting me i you know i i. I would leave him on read. But also, it seems to be that they're opposed to the very idea of outworking your co-worker and getting that promotion. That's very communist sort of viewpoints a lot of the times I find over there. Unsurprisingly, they're very proud

to be communist these days. It used to be a naughty word. We have commissions. We dug them out and exposed them and blacklisted them. Those Ned Isaacoff looking McCarthy, the hero. I'm talking about a dirty word again. Remember Ned Isaacoff? Who?

Ned Isaacoff. Oh, Ned Isaacoff. Yes. Yep. Of course I know. Yeah, he got blacklisted from Hop Sings. Yeah. Yeah.

Named names. Named names named names name name dude i'd name so many names under torture i was watching this thing about korea i'd be making up crime selling everyone i know down the river and and don't even think for a second that it would take more than a threat i'm not getting tortured they Implied discomfort is plenty. They say, hey, what, are you trying to miss dinner? They come at Taylor with hair clippers. He's like, no, no, no.

Don't cut my hair. No, no. I can't. I can't reveal my chin. No, I have a big fat face, and this is keep it all together please no these two guys this is why guys have beards to help facial contouring for men it works it works i will never not have a beard ever here's my thinking on this and i say this is a man of the son who grows a beard the kiss kiss, I think, is bad. I think women don't love being kissed by beards, a lot of them anyway.

But the look is good. So you want to get it off your lips. I mean, I don't have a mustache really anyway, but I'll keep it off my lips. If I can grab it with my tongue, that's no good. I need to trim up. Colin just, you know, when he alphas the fuck out of me. And he puts his, I've got my head like on his collarbone. And he's got this big, like, bearded cheek.

And I'm like, this is the gayest thing I've done so far. You could outdo him. It is through your decision to shave that you're not outdoing his beard. You've got a great beard. I can outwrestle him, too. I could wrestle him down and shave him. I'm the man of the house!

He's the man of the house. So these two American pilots go down over Korea. They capture him. They beat the shit out of him and stuff. And the guy was talking about being in they called it the Hanoi Hilton. It was where all the American POWs were housed in Hanoi, obviously. And for many years, John McCain was there. A lot of famous pilots that got shot down over in POWs were.

But he said that only like five or six Americans ever gave more than name, like number, rank, and whatever the fuck. He's like, only five of us out of 1,200. That's not so bad. And you know what? They didn't go home any earlier. They didn't get any special treatment. But when they got out, we filed charges on them.

It's like, damn. This guy, he was talking about the knock system that he had to use to communicate with another human being for years he explained like putting the alphabet into this five by five block and excluding the letter c because you don't need it and like knocking to communicate through walls so you can be replaced with k like most of the time yeah okay um or so he's so he's you know knocking in these five by five sort of morse code system through the walls somebody be like just got tortured real bad can't take it anymore and they'd be like we've all been through it you can take it like hyping each other up to like and years they were there you know three four five six years at a time those guys were over

there just getting tortured they would hang them from their arms backwards and stuff john mccain i'm doing like an hour-long set of telling them everything i know after the thing about the san diego air base is not a lot of anti-air out there you know what i mean black cannon more like fat cannons yeah hey hey don't you have your horn damn it god damn it where's my horn yeah i would i guess if i was in the military maybe i'd feel differently um but man i don't want to get roughed up at all to me like when i watch torture scenes i'm always thinking i can't take it man i can't take it what are the ones that get you like the torture because i know waterboarding is hell terrible but that one doesn't get me because it's like your teeth aren't being pulled out you're like you still your fingers are still gonna work i'd rather get my teeth pulled out and waterboarded i'd rather uh no you've never done

the waterboarding thing so yeah but i've had a taste and it's uh it's very scary and the water is in your like windpipe and in your nasal passages so you're always just blowing it out you're covered with like snot and your eyes are you can never you can't see your your knees are above your head you're down and you're just you can't get it out because they're holding that cloth here so you spit but it doesn't come out it just falls right back in your windpipe and you get this gasp it's i even now i'm getting a little short short breath thinking about it it's it's bad it's bad i'm sure it's terrible and i've never had it so i might change my tune if i were to experience it but having never been tortured the things i worry about most are the permanent disfigurement you know like uh even if just cut

off my one earlobe i'm like well fuck it i don't think i can get that back no yeah now i think it holds on to it for you i'd rather lose the ear than the nose though because i've seen those fake ears those it's essentially like mr potato head now when you lose a nose or an ear man the ears look good nobody ever know can you imagine a chick sucking on your earlobe the ear because it's right off because it's the like it's the the it's not functional it doesn't do anything it's just a mild cosmetic thing yeah dude we had a guy in my high school with a fucked up earlobe genetically he He was like ostracized and look like bully pose here like this little thing. It almost looked like a

cleft chin like it had a divot in it that wasn't supposed to be there like a pussy almost in his earlobe. Yeah, bottom of his earlobe and I think so. Yeah, instead of being like a natural curve like it's supposed to be, it had like a vagina crack in it.

And y'all noticed that. Damn, kids are so fucking mean. Oh, my God. He committed suicide. How noticeable was it? Because of that? Well, because of his ostracized life, yeah. Dude, I'd have gotten that.

During high school, he did? That's so easy to fix. He was like a freshman in college. It was right after high school. Oh, that's terrible. It was maybe like the middle one. Yeah, yeah. Dude, the middle one looks totally fine compared to that left one what's going on there yeah the left one's a boy

the middle one's a girl yeah the one on the right the right one looks like you could just knock that but whatever that thing is right off charlie brown that thing sticks out sideways yeah the one on the right none of these are good ears that ain't on the right can't walk through doorways that's so gross i'm glad i don't have any ear pussy going on you got almost like an elf here the funny thing though oh you know what i just noticed that guy on the left that's not a genetic thing i bet that he had his ear gauged and it blew oh dude i bet you're right i probably i'm probably wrong because i just haven't ever seen an ear with a tail that's all do you know anybody who has gauged ears? yeah, my girlfriend has gauged ears

do you know any men that have large gauged ears? you're supposed to make fun of my girlfriend if she has gauged ears I knew you wouldn't date a girl with gauged ears oh my god I saw a bitch with a gauged mouth the other day oh, you're watching her fucking chew you can see her you can see her bottom row it was as big as a nickel she's like

uh she's like the body exhibit at the science museum you can see how mastication my dick in there yeah you'd have to yeah you're too that's where the best blow jobs are right at the lower teeth that's the quality angle yeah no i know someone who in college got gauged ears and they did that thing where they got bigger and they went a little bigger and now they don't want it anymore and they got it sewed up and it looks terrible yeah like they cannot like it's like almost like a folded up flower like there's like a like a scrunchie almost like a scrunchie i wonder if he went to someone not super talented i thought they were able to really make gauged ears look okay he probably could have but these are people who make decisions to gauge their ears so they're not like touche they're not on

angie's list you know like looking up looking up reviews on these surgeons yeah i mean nothing you know to each his own they're going right to the ER. I don't know. I don't want to fuck with us, but yeah, I was thinking of like the, the torture stuff. Uh,

I know that what we did, I've watched a lot of stuff about the CIA's, uh, torture, um, early on. And those two guys who wrote the book on it. Um,

and, um, so, so the most effective techniques they decided was sleep deprivation and something called walling so walling is when you shove someone against a wall real hard and they like flat against their back and knocks all the wind out of them and uh apparently there's some sort of fucking brain reaction to that that really makes you bitch up no not just pain but knocking the

wind out of them and that that big blunt trauma and just they said that those two things were all they really needed to do however um they would do they would they would waterboard for hours dozens of sessions um that one guy i'm gonna get his name wrong might have been abu sharib he's the one who they took one of his eyes out surgically as part of his torture and kept it jesus um but they would put him in and they would put you in this tiny box uh like in a little like pet crate but it's not a pet crate it's a plywood box made to torture people in because it's so so tiny and lock you up in it and they had slots to check on you with a flashlight and they just pour roaches in his because he

Was terrified of him and leave them there like a day they would Was the other thing lots of music like playing continuously they used Barney a lot apparently and lots of death metal and shit like that They wouldn't give a fish tank continuous liquid diet for years liquid diet for years. Liquid diet for years. Which meant they're like shitting themselves constantly because they don't get, all they get is a diaper maybe.

But usually they'd make the diapers out of duct tape. Oh, like a burlap diaper? No, like you just start wrapping their ass with duct tape. And now you got a diaper now. Yeah. That's worse than waterboarding. is it giving you a duct tape there was nothing in the room except for a drain and a hook on the floor and a hook on the ceiling to to chain you to and the length of your chain depended on how how much of a good boy you were

this was what we did oh yeah yeah this isn't even when we sent them to like syria or thailand these aren't even black box like one of the black sites black box site whatever i think this was a black site but it was one that that we were operating in this is actually one that we were operating in thailand another we were operating in afghanistan but the um the black sites when they sent when they send someone over to let Syria work on them, like, hey, Syria, would you handle this guy for us and work on him? They pull your fingernails and rape you and electrocute you and beat you for a year until you're not a person anymore.

They're super hardcore about their course. Dude, I was reading this article, and you've probably heard about it. It may have even been in syria black site that some poor like guy in his early 20s who was a taxi driver was like literally wrong place wrong time situation and he was tortured ruthlessly at a black site for like 10 months or like yeah like a year and the like they they killed him they killed him through torture and like the the body examination afterward was like on the wikipedia page it used like the term pulpified to describe his legs meaning like there was no structure in his legs anymore after like it was just beaten to a pulp, just shards of bone. Who did this?

And the CIA-connected black site, I think, in Syria. What they would do, they would have a name, and they'd have maybe two or three other pieces of metadata. Okay, his name is Abu Shah something, and he's got a beard, he's 27, and he lives in Canada, but he's in syria a lot unfortunately there's like 15 guys that that also do all that shit and so they scooped up this one guy from canada and did all the shit we talked about yeah and uh he he's he doesn't leave his house now they said they said he's been in his house for the last six years because they tortured

him in syria for 10 months and lied to his wife and told him that they didn't have him and she's like yeah but he bought me sunglasses on the plane that was going from syria to canada you took him off the plane and flew him back to syria that was the professor right yeah that was the college professor yeah the basketball player yeah man i'm i'm glad that uh you know I didn't knock down any towers or anything. Man, you don't mess with the U.S. government. Even if you do have some bad thoughts out there, just let it go. Keep it to yourself. They play for keeps.

They play for fucking keeps at that level. When you go to championship-level law enforcement, those are the Jordans of law enforcement. They're there with the flu how many years did that guy get for putting his feet on nancy pelosi's desk is it like seven i don't know they're not gonna send him to a black site oh it's two i don't know they all got like two to six years it seems like a whole bunch of fucking people uh they're still getting them they're still getting them and that was i saw i watched tons of police videos i mean hours of them a day and uh i saw one where 15 year old boy in florida is there with his mother he's all blurred out but the cops like

you were on fucking discord saying you're gonna shoot up school and she's like it's a video game it's not for real he's like well he said he was gonna shoot up school for real and in florida that's you know it's terrorist threats and and then two or three other charges and everybody's crying and she's like but he's a little boy he's like that's why i'm taking him to juvenile jail it's like damn hooked him up threw him in the fucking car it was great it's great damn yeah you love these cop videos dude you get these fucking bitches man these bitches that you know if you ever wanted to punch a woman like for real but of course you didn't but you like you're like she deserves a punch like i'm not in the

in the olden times and i get fucking and everyone clapped every one of those everyone rejoiced and everyone rejoiced everyone liked that up in the fucking top row. Like Fallout or whatever. It's ladies like that. And I use ladies loosely. These bitches are trespassing. And they're like, ma'am, all I need you to do, walk on over there and head home. Yeah, but on the same level, you don't understand.

Ma'am, again, I don't care who started the argument. You can just head on over there and head on home. Have a lovely evening, man. Yeah, you're racist fucking cops. You're racist. And you, you Mexican cocksucker. And it's like, you call him racist and then we're racist with the same breath before it's over. She's

face down, titties popped out of her whore ass top, getting drug around the asphalt. You stop moving and we'll just getting the shit beating out of her it's great fucking pepper spray and bit this one chick spitting she's spitting so much that i'm wondering where she's getting the saliva i don't know if she's good at blowjobs oh my god she's spitting through the the grate at the cop in the front seat crack her ass bitch crack her ass already been arrested still spitting yeah she's

handcuffed anymore i'm getting close and he's had enough right it's he's been getting spritzed and he pulls that shit over and goes back around to her window he's like and they're they just again he should have spit on her he's got his bear spray he's like you keep spitting on me i'm gonna spray you that's gonna give her more space like a sprinkler He's like, you keep spitting on me, I'm going to spray you. That's going to give her more spit. She's like a sprinkler. She's like a sprinkler. And he finally. That's it.

No more spitting out of her. I don't know. Now she's getting even more saliva. She's crying. Her mouth's watering. She's even more annoying. I didn't see pepper spit coming. I had to calm her down.

She kept my eyes, my eyes. You can tell the cops have been doing it for a while. He's like, this one looks like a spitter. Get the bag. And sure enough, they're trying to spit through the bag. They got like a beekeeper bag they'll put on these fuckers and zip tied around the neck. That's a big enough problem that they have a spitting protocol yeah yeah spitting is disgusting that i remember my cousin was locked up one time for

some minor infraction a fight or something and they showed they they either had somebody in the chair or they showed him the chair because in jails a lot of them they have a chair and it looks like the electric chair you know with the straps all over it, like some medieval stuff, and you are 100% restrained. Like straps everywhere on your body and then they put this hood over your head. And he's like, that's what we do to spitters.

Oh, what's a spitter? Well, some folks just can't take no furniture. Webster's defines spitter as one who spits. Oh, shit. Yeah, I couldn't do that job. Webster's defined spitter as one who spits. Shit. Yeah, I couldn't do that job. That's how they handle it in Italy. You couldn't be a cop? No, no.

I don't think of myself as a violent person or anything, but just the level of continuous disrespect they're dealing with. And just for no reason. Like, unarmed, the guy shows up and he's like, ma'am, I don't even know how any of this started. And he's just getting just stuff hurled at him just being mean to him just shitting on him telling me just all sorts of racial stuff and just spitting on him i don't i don't get spit on

especially by some scum on the street get hep c yeah to avoid turning into a bad cop i need to be a cop in a pretty good neighborhood right you. You know, like my last town in Apex, nothing ever bad happens there. There's no murders there. I imagine there's a sexual assault or something, but there's no nightclubs or anything like it's just a small town filled with the engineers that work in Research Triangle Park mostly. And I think if you're a cop there, you can retain a pretty good opinion of humanity. But if you're in like New York or Boston or any place with a dark side,

then it probably influences the way you see regular people. Yeah, I'm sure. I just, I don't think any of us, maybe Taylor, because Atlanta's not, the side of Atlanta I'm on isn't that bad. There's bad parts. I mean, I don't, I live in the nice part of St. on isn't that bad um there's bad parts i mean i don't i live in the nice part of st no no you don't shitty area no you know i've seen you you've still got the gun right yeah i keep one on every table just just in case no i i keep

seeing those videos out of philly though of the homeless people the homeless people on all sorts of drugs, like leaning, you know, faded out. And they walk down the street to show you that this isn't this little strip of people. This is continuous. We can walk for 10 minutes and you won't see the end. It's post-apocalyptic. It looks like RoboCop. RoboCop wasn't this bad. RoboCop's diabolical version of the future, you know, with Omnicore, the corporation taking over a failed Detroit, was pretty dead spot on.

But even they didn't know that the drugs were going to make people this shitty. Their drugs are cool, at least. They had at least neat drugs. Yeah, they had this little serret you pop in your neck called Nuke. And it just made you happy. Every time I'd watch RoboCop, I'd be like, come on, in your neck called Nuke, and it just made

you happy. Every time I'd watch Robocop, I'd be like, come on, let them have their nuke. It seems fun. Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen Robocop, but I imagine that... You haven't seen Robocop. I have not. It's on the list. Better Alive, you're coming with me. How can you not know? Well, I haven't seen it.

That's how I don't know. Dude, right after Terminator and Terminator 2 after terminator and predator and titanic and um all those westerns it's this paul verhoeven created anti-capitalist fuck um um jesus christ allegory made with made with police in detroit and when a guy turns into a goddamn cyborg and dispenses justice with his literal iron fist. It's great. And he has a cool guy. I'm going to rat you out to anti-work. You'll be like, this animal has two jobs and

several movies to catch up on. And he won't watch Robocop, this fucking cunt. He knows it's good, but he won't watch it. This fucking idiot is just watching The Simpsons. And the bad guy is the dad from that 70s show, and he is evil as hell. No, that's RoboCop 2.

That's RoboCop 2. No, no, no, that's RoboCop 1. You know what? They brought back that 70s show as that 90s show. That 90s show is a show now. Oh, I'm aware that it exists. I'm not going gonna watch it but i do they have any rapists on that show not even no no he's in prison is going to jail

yeah uh wait who'd you say danny masterson that's uh i heard it wrong i was like wait what who who got who got convicted of ripe and now he's going to jail for 30 years but i didn't know that red foreman the actor i had thought he was dead for years. No, no, no. And then I saw that 90s show come out and it's like, that's great. He's alive. He's got a job. Kitty's.

I knew Kitty would be alive. Like she's she looks younger than than Red. Like she's a little bit of Charlie's mom from it's it's always sunny. She has kind of a similar bearing to her. Yeah, I like a sweet lady yeah the new season came out um the first two episodes of it's always sunny in philadelphia season 16 and i know you've been down on that show for a while i i i recommend you check out at least one of these new episodes because i thought it was not very good not amazing in our

the reddit chat yeah um i didn't read that but i i know what it is and it was i don't want to spoiler for taylor necessarily okay maybe do i don't know it is kind of a spoiler you can okay it's a cool funny moment yeah go ahead go ahead it's that uh charlie's room you know so people don't watch always sunny at all uh charlie lives in a poop stainedstained single-bedroom room with this other guy on a pull-out couch in abject poverty. And there's all these doors in the bedroom. On Reddit, seven years ago, somebody theorized that those other doors

lead to a spacious three-bedroom apartment. But Charlie just put things in front of the doors and never really explored. And it turns out that he nailed it. Charlie lives in a really nice three bedroom spacious apartment. That's hilarious. Frank is like, is this a toilet? He's like, yeah, but it runs and it's loud.

He's like, I piss in a can. He's like, wait a minute. What's behind that door over there? Ah, nothing, nothing. Oh, Charlie. And he starts moving shit out of the way. And it's a huge bedroom. It's a big bedroom.

It's a pretty good episode. And that's not even the funniest part of that episode. I'll have to watch it next season. The gang looks pretty healthy. You know, they're all in their 40s. They look quite good. They have started face-tuning Dee this year. I don't know if they're using it on everyone, but it's

super obvious. If you know what Dee looks like, or if you watch the podcast, that ain't what she looks like. Is it possible she's using a ton of Botox? No. Okay. They're face-tuning her to make her look better? It's not like a joke to make her look older

or something? I literally literally when you said they're face tuning her i'm like oh i think that the joke must be that like they're all getting healthier but d is aging badly like that would be pretty funny no she's uh no they face tune her they took like seven years off something like that very smooth around here you know like like you know where women get it get it is it a little jarring where you're you're kind of like especially from a distance. The way that face-tuning stuff works,

if they're in this range, it's good at that. When she walked in the door and was far away, it seemed like her face had no definition at all. It was almost just like this fleshy, smooth almond coming at me with eyes or something. That's just me. Maybe everybody else

will notice. I am on that big-ass TV, too. I noticed it right away that she looked better than last year in a digital kind of way. But yeah, real good stuff. They even have a Frank Gunn episode. I haven't seen any of the last two seasons. DeVito's lost maybe half a step.

Or maybe he was just being subdued in these recent episodes. He doesn't seem to have that same energy about him. He's so old. Yeah, he's genuinely getting there. Who is? Danny DeVito. Oh. He's like mid-70s at least, right?

Is he really? Yeah, got to be. Remember, he was in Taxi. Young, handsome DeVito, I'll call him, was an interesting kind of guy. Those movies where he's just a pervert and just running around. It's kind of guy like those movies where he's just a pervert and just running around like like he's he kind of he it's kind of what frank does if frank is kind of reminiscent of remember him in wins matilda she's great in matilda him and rhea perlman who he was married to yeah had his wife in the movie with him that's cool just realized that i didn't realize that either my sister loved that movie i knew he was old because he

was old when i was young like when i watched him on taxi i thought of him as an old person because you know when you're like 12 everyone over 30 is dead uh he's 78 like that yeah they're not they're only gonna get a couple more seasons he's not the kind of physical specimen who pushes 90. Maybe sometimes those real little guys, I feel like maybe. I don't know, though. Four foot ten. Is he? I hope he's not as bad as he used to be either.

I hope when he dies, it's written into the show. I hope they have time to do that and that their inheritance is like a slap in the face, like the Christmas episode from season one or two where he gets the lambo for himself the the gucci bag for himself and then the he's filling it with his treats that are getting all melty in there like that's how the that's how the inheritance should be treated as well you think that should be like the the end of the series is frank dies and they're all back in their bar with no financial prospects exactly where they were 20 years earlier yeah yeah pretty much you know the bar was paid for by charlie that that was a fun flashback video

no i like the show a lot even even the later seasons they're not as good as whatever the heyday was seasons five through nine or something but i i still like it if charlie got all the money i think there'd be some plots to be had there. Yeah. I don't want to spin off though. The show isn't the show without Danny DeVito. Yeah. I mean,

if you need a reminder of that, go back and watch season one. And while it's funny, it's like he brought that show from good to like great, a, like a legend of a show that people will watch all the time. Seasons 1 through 10, or 2 through 10, I guess. And it's not just that you've got Danny DeVito.

It's that Danny DeVito's character is a catalyst. He's a millionaire who wants to roll in the mud with these pieces of shit. It's perfect. He gets to fund everything. The new episode is all about inflation in the economy and stuff and then trying to learn inflation of course mac takes it literally and starts selling inflatable furniture you know they take out a they take out a predatory loan

from frank who immediately wants to like cash it it's fun i i like it i think it's still good there's a part where charlie's like when i turn 40 my inheritance is going to be this that and the other his inheritance is absurd they're like i hate to break it to you buddy but you're way over 40 we all are he goes home he's like mom did you know i'm over 40 she's like no not my baby charlie we're all over 40 that's very funny i do like when they poke fun of themselves with how much they've changed over the years and those kind of meta jokes. It was the first time they did that was like eight years ago, six years ago. And they're like, we are all so goddamn weird now.

Like that. We got a man cheetah. Yeah, a man cheetah. He's got spots. He's got a spot guy. Like that. And a tail. And a tail. Charlie. You on reddit like i am have you seen all this stuff about the api closing and apollo and everyone being so mad

yeah am i crazy all right all right so an api is an application programming interface and what it does is it allows third parties to get all the data the comments the links from reddit and then wrap their own user interface around it okay uh i've never used apollo but it seems widely agreed upon that it is a better way to surf reddit on mobile than reddit is there's a native reddit also that i use and uh for example like it's easier to do markup language and make your things bold and italic and maybe include gifts and whatever. When you link to an image and I see it, I see a link to an image. When they see it, they see an embedded image or perhaps the opportunity to expand it without like going to that website.

And so they made some improvements on that. Well, Reddit is going public and now they have profits to concern themselves with. And they've decided that this company over here, which downloads all this data and shows it, isn't in Reddit's best interest anymore. I'm making this part up. Maybe they don't show ads. I don't know. The problem is that Reddit wants it to be too expensive for all the third-party apps to operate. And they want everyone to use the official Reddit app so that they can run their ads.

Because I don't think Reddit's getting paid by the ads that Reddit is fun. I use Reddit as fun. It's got its own ads here. This is a Reddit is fun ad. They're making money off by providing Reddit in this smooth way, but with their own ad. Reddit doesn't get anything out of that other than traffic. So yeah, they're wanting to shut up. $20 million a year, they say, is unfeasible for them.

They say, the third-party apps. The API, which is previously true, they came up with, I'm sorry, previously free. They came up with a rate, and Apollo is like, we're so fucking popular that we'd have to pay. Is it 20 million a month? Is that what it was? A year. A 20 million a year to to keep going like we always have.

So we're gone. And all of Reddit is infuriated by this. So many subreddits are shutting down for maybe a weekend. All the administrators on Reddit are furious about this. And the moderators furious about this. Okay, okay. All the power mods are livid. All 12 of the people who actually run Reddit

are mad about this. I'm over here like, wait a minute. It sounds like Reddit was kind of getting fucked and they decided to stop being fucked. That's my interpretation. Why does Reddit have to provide this free API for other people to profit off of? If your entire business is based on

the Reddit API, then you always knew you were built on a house of sand. There's a term for it. I forget. The official Reddit app isn't as good. There's a reason I use Reddit. It's fun. I don't know. It's smoother for me. I'm sure there's probably better ones. I'm probably not even using mine right. i'll switch i don't give a shit

you know if you make me pay for reddit premium if it's gonna cost me three dollars a month to knock your ads off dude i spend three hours a day on reddit or something like that my phone's always open i like this is where i get my news i'm on world news and news and all the specific little little things i like to learn about i red it's like a little i'm spending a little time on r slash candle making last night get the fuck as with as with so many things like you go to top all because i'd never been to that forum before and like every time you go to like a forum about a specific interest you're like if i go to top all there maybe there's like a big guide with tons of info about what

temperature to do certain things with certain, like to make sure everything turns out correctly. And you scroll for like 20 minutes and it's just pictures of people's candles and there's no tips and there's no tricks. And it's like, this is, this is, I went back to YouTube after like 20 minutes. It's like, you know what? All these ladies on YouTube, I type in how to do this, they tell me immediately. This Reddit is just people

posting pictures of their own candles. Two thumbs down to that Reddit. I didn't learn fucking anything about candle making from our candle making. If you want to learn, you find there's a couple of ladies on YouTube. They're all women, by the way. Probably just a different subreddit. You probably need DIY candles

or something like that. Candle making sounds like... Maybe you're right. Maybe there's a better one. I don't know. Maybe I'll have to check into it. Yeah. I don't make candles. You could. You should use, Taylor,

ChatGPT. I've had great luck asking ChatGPT all sorts of random shit. That's actually a good idea. I really should just put in there and be like what temperature should I add XYZ oil? And it'll say either the same thing

or something else. I don't know. That could be fun. Any idea of what... Footnotes tell you where it found it. Are you saving money by crafting these candles? Candles are very expensive. They are, but I really it are you saving money by by crafting these these candles candles are very expensive they are but i really doubt i'm saving money i'm doing it because i'm like having fun with it the the actual like fragrance oil is the shit that actually that like costs more the wax itself you can get 10 pounds of wax like 20 bucks like it's it's cheap as shit it doesn't

go as far as i think it will so you buy buy wax and it looks like shredded cheese kind of. And I'm like, oh, this is like nine candles, three candles in. I'm like, shredded cheese is mostly air. This is bullshit. That is true. Like you put in like what feels like an enormous amount. I like put a paper plate on my food scale and i was weighing out just one pound of soy wax and i'm like having to like build a little tower as i'm doing it because so much

wax is on there and then you put it in the double boiler and it's like did someone break in and steal my wax like as you're watching it melt because my back turned how do you make it like how do you how do you melt it? I have a double boiler. I don't know what that is. So it's like a bowl on top of a pot that's boiling water. And so it's just the heat of the steam, like of the simmering water heating it up. So it's on indirect heat. And so I put it in a double boiler, get it up to like 185, 185 degrees.

Once it's all fully melted, then you add dye if you want to dye it at all and then you mix that in and then you take maybe and then you then you take it off the heat uh you add your fragrance like one ounce of fragrance for per one pound of soy wax and then you mix it slowly for like two minutes because if you mix fast it's gonna like get all fucked up because you're not like trying to whip it you're trying to not get a bunch of air in your wax uh so you just stir it real slow for like two minutes and then you chill and let it go till like i don't even know what the temperature is all the ladies online say wait until it starts looking cloudy and then when it starts looking cloudy then you pour it yeah and uh by that point like you have your your just about the same way i it sounds like you have a slicker double boiler than me i just have a big fucking stew pot that like a witch

might have and then i have a pitcher with a handle and that handle allows it to sort of float in the water of the other thing and then the water boils the wax inside kind of and i don't do great at controlling the temperature i feel like i've overcooked my oil from time to time yeah and that makes a less potent candle but you can cure an impotent candle with more wicks oh oh is this a little weak buff can put four more wicks in there you've got a little bonfire going on. Just a baffling way to make candles. Just after the fact, surgically adding wicks.

Just putting it in there. It's cracking the glad. You will not tunnel and you will not have a weak scent. I don't care. I'll put 16 wicks in there. It'll look like a birthday cake. I don't give a fuck. It's going to work out.

It looks like shit. Yeah, if you're getting tunneling issues, you're pouring your wax too hot. Let it cool down more, and you will not get tunneling. So there you go. Kyle, looking at us. You know what we're talking about after the fact,

during the burn. That's relevant? Oh, you're getting... Yeah, yeah. They say that tunneling when it dries and during the burn could be because you pour it too hot. Because I when I made candles years ago, I did not wait for it to cool down the first time I tried it.

And it was like pitting and like all and it like sucked off the side of the glass. Yes, yes. Or it might have had like I think there was like a it like stayed on the glass and then it went down and it formed a penis in the middle. If I recall what my first candles look like. Yeah, but you get better at it. And so the answer, Kyle, is no. You do not save any money, but they're fun to make. Like it's fun

to melt the wax and like add the shit and then it's fun to use them afterward if you enjoy candles. If you like the aesthetic of it burning, if you like getting to try your own scent combinations it's fun and it's not gay oh well i mean i think i think you're using it to get pussy i i feel like i feel like that's a big part of it you're trying to make the house smell like you know good things for like pussy well you're trying to make the house smell like pussy but but before

you can do that you've got to make it smell like an apple orchard in july or something i don't know yes exactly i don't know it doesn't appeal to me but um but i like candles i've always got candles that um of some kind or another i'm not picky about the scent it could be like clean linen or it could be apple pie either way i burn scented candles all the time there's there's one in my gym it's like i turn on the air conditioning fire up the candle it's got to smell like uh butterscotch in there for me to for me to get my pump on butterscotch that's that's such a doesn't seem like a good idea oh it's a great idea i love it yeah i saw a video today where um this guy's talking to the guy that had a bunch of Biden shit on his house and he was wearing the shirt too

and this guy's doing a street interview. He's talking to him. He's like, what do you think about immigration? He's like, what does it say on that statue of liberty? It says everybody come on in, right? I don't think it says that, but do you think anybody should be able to come? Yeah, let them in.

Well, I'm glad you got that that. Do you think anybody should be able to come? Yeah, let them in. I'm glad you got that attitude. Hey, boys. I got three Hondurans here. They're from Honduras. I got them at Home Depot. Paco there, and he hands them a bag of prescription pills. You got to give him these twice a day.

They can't stay here. The Honduran guys start coming up. Thank you so much. Thank you. He's like, no, you can't stay here. And the Honduran guys start coming up. Thank you so much. He's like, no, you can't stay here. Oh, no. Don't send us away. Fucking hilarious. Probably fake. Most of the internet is now.

But I laugh my ass off. It's hard to do those prank videos I would imagine and not be a piece of shit asshole like that black guy in the UK or whatever who jumps on trains and shit and invades people's homes what do you know about this guy there's this guy yeah the home invader i've seen that um he started out like his outrageous thing that got some headlines uh was he would just home invade people he'd just run up in your house but oh look at this piece of shit house i'm in look at this oh my god and the people are there like what the fuck are you doing get out of our house it's like i'm not going anywhere and it's like i'm

tick tock in your house. Wow. And, and then they like, I think you might've got arrested and the judge, like you can't be on tick tock for six months or some bullshit, whatever they said, as soon as they let him go, he jumped on top of like a bus or a street train or something. So it couldn't move and took that over. Uh, it's a, he's a real piece of shit so there's that and then on the other end of it i like the people who do giveaways sometimes they're i really like the video where the guy's like hey turns out i can't afford this meal could you just spot me you know i'm i'm hungry and they're like yeah man i got you what you want he's like oh actually how could you use a thousand

dollars how about that and they're like they just you know i like those because they're just sweet and quick to the point but that's not fun and flashy i can only watch like one of those so i end up watching some of the i end up back on the police activity channel watching people die because that's real nobody's faking that i watched a guy try to run across the interstate a couple hours ago and get hit by a semi all right oh it was a mess it was a mess that poor semi driver dirt bikers versus cops have you guys seen this at all it apparently it's a youtube genre because i watched a video or two till the end now youtube is fitting me feeding me all these angry dirt bikers and even though i'm the motorcyclist i can see that in every single scenario i've ever seen the motorcyclist is the asshole they're tearing up somebody's farm

sometimes on purpose you know while a farmer ineptly attempts to chase them on like an atv or with a pickup truck um sometimes they're riding their dirt bike through the city are they trying to get a cop to chase them? They might be. Hey, what's up? Yo, what up, dog? What it do? How are you, cats? How are you, these cats?

We posted up on the block right now. Aria, is that where you fought Harley? That same area? This is where Harley and I did battle like men. Where you turned him from a tall Jew into a fighting Jew. I took him from now to wow, we called it. We had a bunch of sayings like that that are kind of inspirational. I won't bore you guys. No, thank God for that.

Thanks for coming to us from such a rational place. This is what I always feared, that he'd come on the show and troll the fuck out of us. You guys can edit this out, right? Hold on. You look great, man. Hold up.

It's gonna happen six more times No, not six more times, Woody You thought you knew By just being Now I'm actually trying, now I actually need this Chipotle bin To prop it up This Chipotle bin to prop it up So I just finished tracking

The whole six weeks with Fish Tank Incredibly entertaining Oh yeah Jet, you did a great job Thank you, Bob, thank you The whole six weeks with Fish Tank. Incredibly entertaining. Oh, yeah. Jet, you did a great job. Thank you, Bob. Thank you. So what was the impetus of this?

What made you want to get all these maniacs in the house? Can you hear them? I can hear them. You want me to repeat what they're saying word for word when they speak? Yeah, that would be the best thing. All right, so I can't hear, so Jet's going to repeat what you say. His ears are a little sharper. Go ahead. They asked what the impetus was for Bishman.

Yeah. Well, I think we just like to torture people because we're trolls. We're sick trolls. Are you? No. No, you just thought it would be funny? Are you? No.

No, you just thought it would be funny? It was probably, if we're being honest here, IP2 prison stream. I didn't know that's where you got it from. IP2 prison stream. Shout out to Ice Poseidon. Wrote this thing called Hell House. And Jet picked it up and ran with it. Nice.

So, what was the process? We asked to talk to people and fuck with them, because, yo, I fuck with everybody. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Hey, how was the tech? I didn't hear what they said. When I watch the show, I wonder what kind of tech issues you run into while you put it on.

Did people try to DDoS you? Were the bandwidth, I guess, more expensive than you anticipated? We were able to use what they call themselves the Elite Hack Squad. Lizard Squad. Lizard Squad came in and they basically made it so that there was an impenetrable

wall of data around our shit. A firewall. And anybody who fucked with us got doxxed. Did you get them before you started or during as a reaction? Before we started, we got all our haters and all our hackers. We got them before they could even make a move on us. Because we got eyes everywhere. It seems that way.

We got trolled digitally. We got DDoS'd a lot. We got physically with physical tech attacks. We had a bunch of people come and try to beat us up and stuff Did you really I saw you guys got swatted? Did you know even even better than the swatting was uh, we had these radios for the end of the show Yeah, and one morning. I just hear a voice. I've never heard before on the radio Yeah, he drove to us got on our channel, and started broadcasting into the girls' rooms.

Yeah. That was crazy. That was a physical tech attack. That's pretty neat. I'm glad he didn't show up because I was ready to do my thing. That's what I was going to ask. Where are you doing this all? Like what state?

We're doing it in Swansea, Massachusetts. 068910785. Do you own the house? Do you own the house? Do you rent the house? Yeah, we rented it. There was a lot of damage to the house. Was that just budgeted in? You just expected to deal with that?

We don't really do budgets so much. We do smash. We do kill. We do steal. And this time around, the stealing came out to be more than the killing. The stealing covered us on the breaking.

I think you need to go... I think you need to take Season 2 down somewhere hot. I think you need to go to Sheriff Joe Arpaio Country. Get yourself four single-wide trailers in a state that has a standard ground law so you can kill anybody that comes and fucks with you. And that can be part of the show.

You need armed guards. Cowboys. You can make the contestants ride bulls. Do it in Texas. Real bulls. Yeah. What was, was it way harder than you thought coming up with shit to keep them

occupied the whole time? Oh yeah. Yeah. Our original plan we had was like okay we'll need one person on site for eight hours at a time that's eight hour shifts three people you tap you tap in you dap up your buddy here's what happened during my shift i'm out of here we easy yeah we realized we need everyone there it's that easy guys so we like lived in the basement and we had to like, it was a struggle. There was many panic attacks we had where we had to like figure out some fake situation we had to put on them because they were just sitting and relaxing. So we had to come up with a lot of stuff. It was tough work.

We had like a whole Google Doc. We planned it out too. We had a whole Google Doc. We planned it out, too. We had a whole Google Doc with a fucking ton of stuff on it. Like a 100-page doc. And then it was just clear that that stuff was not going to work. Didn't open it once. Yeah. Why?

Can you tell me more? I'm curious about that. Just because the way you think something's going to be and the way it actually is never links up. Unless you're doing something stupidly simple that anybody could do. If you're doing something complex, then the way you think it's going to be and the way it actually is are not the same ever how many cameras did you have 10 10 cameras um i think we added one yeah 10 we added the confessional so 10 total 10 total when you were picking the the people for it was it kind of hard to find a mix of the kind of weird you want?

Something I liked the whole time is that Vance almost provided an anchor point of what a normal person would react to, whereas all the other eccentric people. Did you just get so many lunatics that you had to almost tamp it down? you had to almost tamp it down? I think the hard thing was avoiding people who wanted to be funny or wanted to be in on the joke, which is, I mean, that's the hardest thing about doing comedy, or one of the hard things about doing comedy in general is that whole dance about knowing what's happening versus letting things organically come about and avoiding

people who think they're funny and are just going to throw ice water on your nuts by being the most unfunny person you've ever seen. Yeah. Was it clear right away? Did you know within the first week that this was going to be profitable? That you weren't just going to

have to mortgage your fucking house and sell your truck? First day, yeah knew that oh shit yeah we knew the first day that it was the biggest thing ever did you change your price points over the course of the show like how much a text cost did you adjust that it went down i got cheaper as time went on because um just just supply and demand we were we were tuning it we were trying to dynamically adjust it so that during the peak times the chats were more expensive but it was also kind of hard to do that because the website was a little bit janky you know yeah that's smart the uh the aesthetic of the website i know you're changing

functionality and stuff i hope you keep like hope you keep all those tactile sounds of switching between the cameras. All that shit is great. Yeah, the Season 2 website is going to be pretty much the same, just with a few more features. But the website, which I would say is Wes. Wes' creation. Our guy Wes. What's his website? Wes.codes?

Wes.codes. He's a sick, sick man. He's a killer. He's awesome. Wes.Codes. Great dev. Hire him. He's expensive, though. Wes, don't give him a discount if they say they're from here. You don't give anybody a discount

if you don't get it. Full price. Code BKA means 120% price. Code BKA costs more. So what was... were there any I mean one of the funniest times I laughed out loud was you feverishly sprinting through the house

to try and keep John from tearing Letty's passport apart Were there any other parts that really pulled you out of it where you're like this has to be handled What was the most harrowing for you? When people that really pulled you out of it where you're like, this has to be handled. What was the most harrowing for you?

When people... I learned that autistic males barricade themselves. Yeah. There were several barricading incidents where people barricaded themselves in bathrooms or in bedrooms and breaking down those barricades was always tough.

Also, when people got out of the camera when they would hide in the bathroom we had for for all i know they're slamming their head into the ceramic sink and trying to like kill themselves yeah so i had no idea um you know it was just dangerous when they got out of our view um and there there's a lot of moments where we were like, oh, you know, stuff that I, you know. Did you talk to a lawyer about that, about liability? You know, like what happens if that does happen? You know, what if some dude goes in the bathroom and porcelain? Yeah, he said because we're sovereign citizens and we don't acknowledge the rule of law of U.S. law,

what we basically could do is we could get passports to some other country like Moldova or something and just go there and avoid whatever charges or whatever problems there are. We got that covered. Yeah, that rented house is a seafaring house. We got the bases covered, guys. It's good to have a plan B. He technically

killed himself at sea, so I'm not culpable. Listen, if you ever kill a bunch of people on a boat, you get off scot-free. That's how the law works. The whole thing was done with no insurance. We just went commando because we tried lining up insurance beforehand. And I think after they Googled us, the insurance premium that they wanted to charge jumped from $10,000 to some figure

that we couldn't afford to pay. We did it with our commando there with our balls hanging out in the wind. That's pretty cool. I don't think this is good content, but I would set up the fish tank to be its own company right it's unlimited liability corporation so they couldn't take more than the

money yeah it's it's its own company but they can they can sue any individual at any time for doing it you know they could sue me it doesn't matter and the other thing is the fish tank account has the most money of any account that i've had so they would get all the money yeah so yeah it's it would have been would have been bad um so we're definitely going to be strapped up next time uh with a lot with better legal i didn't what was uh you didn't know that just figured that out you didn't know damn Your life on the line you were insured the whole time We were not

Nothing that would have made it a more stressful endeavor. That's like finishing a fucking car race and those on the seatbelt Yeah, I wanted you to be comfortable What is Hey, I want I want all my friends to be comfortable that's why i tell them there's hey there's plenty of insurance we're covered of uh of all the people you had in is like freeloaders the one who came off to me as the most genuinely insane was airsoft fatty is is any bit of him at all an act? No, he was leaning into it. Yeah.

Yeah, he was giving it. He knew what we wanted. He was giving us what we wanted. The time when he, the real Airsoft Fatty is when we had him go tell the girls, we had him go explain breeding. We said, Chris, you got to go up there and had them go explain breeding we said we said chris you got to go up there and

give them your explain breeding talk about all the types of breeding that you love and then the girls we told them that the first one to talk to chris would get uh lose a point so they're both like giving him the cold shoulder and he's talking about like well when the man sticks it in the reading right there and he's doing all this like sexual it's like it's basically it looks like sexual harassment because they're not replying to him and he's getting into the details of that made him that made him break character and he goes downstairs into the confessional he's like i can't do this i can't talk to these girls, but that's the real Chris the real Chris like very compassionate like nice nice guy He does have like fat fat kid anger. Yeah, which is That's the most beautiful thing in the world when a fat person gets angry

But he's he's a really good guy and he's he's also like he's funny like he knows He's he's not fully The way you think he'd be he's kind of funny. You know, he's good. He's just he's, he's not fully, uh, the way you think he'd be. He's, he's kind of funny. You know, he's just,

he's a good, he's a good character and we got to bring it back to, I didn't know you had him explain the breeding thing. Cause I did a separate challenge the next day. Yeah. Explain your top five. Yeah. They had to remember all of it.

And then we quizzed them on it. That's so fucking funny. I was going to say, one of the things I really liked about that Ice Poseidon used to do is he had a robot that you could control with a camera on it and a knife. A knife. So you could pay some money, or could... Or maybe everybody was controlling, but basically you could stab people

and get upskirts with the robot. It was a Roomba, right? The robot? That's a good idea to steal. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. You got an upskirt robot that can stab.

Yeah, you're not in shape anyway. Get code.dev or whatever the fuck his name was on it. You get a stun gun on the end of that thing? Mm-hmm. Oh, imagine if you had a challenge where they had to crawl from one end of a house to the other, but they're being attacked by multiple Roombas with tasers being controlled by people for $100 a minute.

Can you control a Roomba? We can rig it up if we're making $10,000. I thought the whole point was that you just turned it on. Well, yeah. A Roomba maps a room. We just want a robot that can drive. It could be a race car. You guys should bring in a...

I think I saw someone suggest have a psychologist or an occupational psychologist come in. A psychic could be funny. And then you award them based on who has the best future like just some horse shit it could be funny to make them like make them remember this a catholic priest i want a catholic priest but he's not a real priest so he he spills the beans

on everything that they tell like no no you can trust me you can tell me i can't tell anything and then he just comes out and he's like actually, Dave's a pedophile. We should lock him up right now. You could probably organize a drag queen story hour and make them sit through it. Oh, no, no, no. The contestants have to do a drag queen story hour. That's why you do it

in Texas. That's the hardest challenge ever. Can one of you write this down? I'm actually doing it for you yeah will you text it to me woody thank you man i've got a yeah i've got a list of things that as i was watching i was like oh this is a good idea drag queen story i would be fucking so funny it'd be hilarious yeah it'd be so uncomfortable for everyone involved like it i also like uh like pyramid scheme multi-level marketing people if you could organize having like five of them from different companies

arriving at the same time and then make them compete for it. I'm sure you guys have all these ideas and more. No, we don't. These are good. Keep them coming. We wanted to try to sell the house while the show was going on and have a realtor come in and do house tours during the show. That's very funny.

Especially if Airsoft Fatty is like bumbling about shirtless. Totally naked. You're just like you're showing the master bedroom and he's like naked. But he's Peter Griffin naked and so I saw a still of him hands over his head.

Could not see his penis. Could not. He's totally censored. He's perfect. You don't have to blur it. He's totally censored. He's perfect. Yeah, that's our guy. You don't have to blur it. He's pre-censored. One thing we tried to do was line up a clown. And the funny thing is like clowns, like actual clowns, they're mad professional.

They take themselves really seriously. So you'll call them and they're like, hi, this is Dave the Clown. How may I help you? And we explain the deal that it's like a reality show and he's he's like i'll have to think about that let me think it over and i'll i'll get right back to you and then they like it's they don't want to mess with their image as being like a clown clown they all take it mad serious yeah dude clowns are the biggest fucking losers on the planet. Woody's got a friend who's a goddamn clown. Call themselves ****. Yeah. Clowns all fucking year round.

And they're in like the, there's like groups to defend them. They got mad when the Joker came out because they thought the Joker gave them a bad name. You're a clown. You're a clown. Yeah. I hate clowns. Clowns give themselves a bad name. Or maybe, do magicians take themselves seriously?

Probably not as seriously as a clown. Magicians are fucking cool. You'd have to get a sleight of hand artist who's really high on himself, who really thinks he's the cat's pajamas. My friend's a clown. Mime's in there. You should get him. He's really tall, too.

He's like 6'4", 6'6". Yeah, but he's a scary clown. He intentionally tries to be scary. They have PTA meetings about your friend. I think being a clown is a little mean-spirited. No one likes it. I would hate crime your friend if he lived near my children. Nothing physical, but we'd kill his grass and take his mailbox and stuff.

What's the equivalent of burning a cross to clowns? I don't fucking know, man. I'll think that one over. Oh, I was thinking that you should come back season two as Dr. Jason Goldstriker and perform physicals. Yeah. Can you do that? I've got my doctorate.

Hell yeah. Or come back as Dr. Jonathan Goldstriker, never address it. I liked that. I was saying that, Jet, if we get into this to where it's like 10 seasons deep and we're searching for themes, we should do one that's like a hip-hop theme. Yeah. And we would all have like, I could be like, yo, what's up?

I'm J-Strike. And we'd all be like, hip-hop, but doing the same shit. And it's just doing it to black people yeah we're coming to you live from the dark continent yeah from kenya we in queens right now i'm j strike what's good yeah i'm looking forward to season 10 man that. That's going to be good. When is season two? Winter? 2023 winter? Yeah, we want to do it in the winter as soon as possible.

Good. I'm really glad this was so successful for you guys because I don't think I realized how much I wanted a different kind of content to watch at night. And because it's so like actually organic there, like it was, it was hard to look away because you're like, I don't know when it's going to go off.

I know airsoft fatties pissed about something. I have to wait and see. Like it's sucked into the Truman show. I got sucked into the Truman show, man. I was, I was like watching along early on when everybody hated Letty. And I was like,

dude, come on. She's taking the most shit. Give her props. Like stop hating on, on this lady. Like it was, I was watching along early on when everybody hated Letty, and I was like, dude, come on. She's taking the most shit. Give her props. Stop hating on this lady. It was very entertaining. Very good.

Yeah, I think these two will watch more season two. My favorite contestant was Letty. Yeah. Is that the girl? Yeah, Letty did a good job, man. Yeah. She took more abuse from text-to- to speech and all that than everyone else, and she just came bouncing back every time. Yeah, she did.

And just like that, you're getting no sleep in that house. Did it smell as bad as it looked like it smelled? Towards the end, it smelled very, very bad. And the cleanup people, after our guys cleaned it up, like after the preliminary cleaning was done, we had cleanup people come in and they said it was the worst they'd ever seen. That was accurate. But I think it's at the end, the fish head.

That was the worst part. Really, really did a number on the spot on the place. Day three fish head was pretty rancid. The fish head did not do a good service there for us our noses regarding the uh the text-to-speech like because i i remember early on uh sam you tweeted like i'm shutting down all the sylvia fat comments we cannot like let this be torture on our 46 how long did that have like did you shut down shut down Texas Beach for a lot of stuff for a while? The point was that it's supposed to be

gradual. Listen, we're going to be doing this for six weeks. Day one, guys, it's nigger d*** every five seconds. You're fat. Kill yourself. You're fat. Kill yourself. That show lasts five days at the tops. We had to have it be a

gradual rollout. We're not making an alternative to Gab. It's not a free speech platform. It's a fucking TV show. So yeah, we had to kind of curtail the fat stuff in the beginning. And then at the end, we kind of let it rip. Let everything rip. Yeah, let it fly there at the end.

But that's the building towards this crescendo of hell is what we were going for. There was a lot of stuff that we didn't let go through. I mean, you're sitting there in the moment and someone's having like, they're finally about to release and have this like big like freak out, which is good for TV.

And then someone says, what would your mother think if she saw this? I'm not going to let that through. It's part of directing. Not letting certain things enter people's heads. It's as manipulative as that is. It's also a timing thing. Yeah, timing matters.

I think sleep deprivation is going to be big for season two. Just 36 hours of sleep deprivation, and people get real wacky and you're already starting with broken people so you go to a scary place yeah you were the producer how well they slept through all the noise yeah they after like after like the first week they were just trained to ignore it um you know they slept right through it even like the mariachi band sound effects was the the loudest sound effect you could hit them with oh yeah it wouldn't always

wake them up so they they really just like got accustomed and uh you know they just the mariachi band killed me like i when when when you kicked the the asian guy who wrote a book about how to pick up campers and then you and then you brought in the new asian guy to replace him and that guy that guy like didn't know what the situation was i paid to play mariachi for him a couple times that night and it makes me because it's so fucking loud it's so jarring how it starts and like he's clearly trying to sleep and he's upset like it's it's hysterical like how did you find another asian guy so quickly that looked just like that guy but not you know with the it was uh one of the guys who does the twitter spaces uh they would do a show uh like a community driven show every night like a launch party he linked me this guy

he's like hey this guy's a comedian he's Asian. He looks like the other guy. So I was like, I knew nothing about him. I did no research. I got his flight within like 24 hours. He was on his way here. And he turned out being awesome. Yeah. His real name's Tai Nguyen.

I'm probably butchering his last name. N-G-Y-U-N-G-Y-N. Look him up. Nguyen. He's good. He's really funny. And he rolled with the punches, and he played it up too. He was like – I remember one of his meltdowns, we went and checked on him, and he was like, no, I like what you guys are doing.

It's hard. The things you guys are doing is hard, and you keep riding good scripts, I will stay. Yeah, man. Shout out to Ty, man. Yeah. He's awesome but for him he had he probably had the hardest start because we put him in the shoes of a monster yeah we were like teasing the fact that it's summer camp week and then we're like alright walking with two bottles of vodka and say you're the camp counselor.

He just doesn't even know what a fucking ghoul he looks like. It's crazy how much happenstance happened. We had Chris and Chris Chin and Letty and Betty. I know we're intentionally trying to find people to replace them, but the way it worked

was crazy. And then Lance and Vance when we brought Lance Lance at the Vance clone We didn't expect that we were gonna start like a clone theme And he did it he did like a mad good job Copying advances mannerisms and like even wearing his clothes like buying the same clothes as Vance. That was crazy Yeah, we're lucky to have people who are on the show who cared about the show a lot too yeah like the effort that guy put into getting down vance he didn't just show up like hey i want to get twitter famous yeah he was like this is serious i'm gonna take it serious he did a good job tyler little is that his name yeah yeah yeah shout out tyler little yeah Tyler Little Yeah he did a good job pretending to be

When you started bringing in doppelgangers For everyone that was very funny and surprising How quickly you got it It was like The amount of Spitting was Shocking There was a lot of spitting

The airsoft fatty spitting Like I knew that was an angry spit because he did that sucked up first and then fired it hard. I can't believe Letty handled it as well as she did. I know. That was the heavy one.

Didn't he spit more than once? Three times. He spit on her three times in the face. Jesus. That's crazy. It was jesus that's crazy it was crazy speaking of spitting in the face any romance possibilities on the next uh fish tank oh oh just wait for season two we're not letting anyone on that has a significant other. It's going to be called fuck house. You have to be a hoardy pervert

to get on there. Oh, Aerosaw Fatty's going to be a natural again. We were trying to get Chris laid for weeks. Yeah, get him laid this time because when that prostitute said that he smelled too much like shit to fuck him that made me sad oh oh but she did it in a nice way she said like she alluded

almost that there was an ether about the air that smelled like shit like not the shit covered gentleman you need to find a prostitute with lower standards. Jesus. That was friend of the show Brandon Buckingham. Shout out Brandon. Another cool guy. I don't know how it would work, but I almost want the contestants to think that they're getting on an airplane to go to another country where certain rules don't apply anymore,

but they're really sitting in a fake plane rocking back and forth with airline sounds with black and you're like, 12 in a fake plane rocking back and forth with airline sounds. With black... And you're like, 12 hours later, you're like, alright, come out. We're in Cambodia now. Anything goes, bitches. The Uber driver plays

Spanish music. You can make them play Russian roulette. Yeah, we can do this here. That'd be great. With a paintball gun. We should put them on a fake space shuttle and tell them we're on the moon. Hey, guys, we're on Jeff Bezos' Atlantic Blue.

What's this shit called? Blue Horizon? They did that. We're on Blue Horizon. We're going to our moon base. They did that. There's a reality show where they actually did that. They made the contestants think they were going up to a Russian space station,

put them in a fake ship, and sent them up, and they believed it. Wow. They're crying. They're crying thinking they're in space, and they're not in space. That's sweet. I don't even think these people. We got to do that to John. Yeah.

We'll do a spinoff called John Goes to Space. I don't believe we're in space. Dude, I was was gonna mention that you your john is so fucking perfect like i was i was dying laughing at the end where you were just going around perfectly like with the inflection on his voice like so calmly it was my favorite part of your john impression was that I knew that you were like sort of tired and stressed out. And there's something soothing about rambling like especially like John, just John's voice, but also rambling like him. Yeah.

So you'd be sort of self-soothing a little bit. It became like a coping mechanism. Yeah, man. Oh, and you got to make sure you keep up with the whoever wrote the bios with all like the fun facts about the characters like the i mean the best joke in all those was the european accent with with john's speech impediment because i i literally went into it like oh i wonder where he sounds like he's from it's like no no one thinks this is true. He said that to me. He said my speech impediment often gets mistaken for a European accent. He said that in his first interview I did with him.

So that was real. I didn't make that up. That wasn't a joke. He said that. I mean, he'll probably pop back in for season two, I would think. There was a pretty good connection between Jason Goldstriker and Jon. Pretty emotional. I think we probably...

There's a temptation to... I know what the fans want. The fans want everybody from season one's back, guys! Here they are! They don't know what they need. Fans don't know what they need. We've got to limit that. I think definitely bring back Chris. But it's not going to be a huge rehashing of season one shit.

I know you've got your fingers in lots of pies. But is this like your main focus right now? Is this what you're excited and hyped to do? This is Jet's main focus. We have another thing that we were talking about today that's still too premature to talk about. But that's another thing that we were talking about today that's still too premature to to talk about but that's another uh thing that we're focusing on um right now right now we're doing world peace 2 we're doing um office remodel we're doing merch we're doing i mean i'm kind of i'm so

scatterbrained i can't even remember what the fuck we're doing yeah oh energy drink yeah we're doing I mean I'm kind of I'm so scatterbrained I can't even remember what the fuck we're doing energy drink yeah we're doing a drink um what's it called you can have a name oh like zippy water you gonna get some of that there you go

nice you got your finger in a lot of pies indeed is uh world peace 2 is there a date on that that you've you've announced or anything or still so much in the works you're not sure probably eight months okay is it long it's about 50 it's about 60 shot which is the hard part and then the the editing is the time intensive part. That's going to take eight months probably to get it done. Is it a full length season? Like the first one,

like same number of episodes. So the first one we cut it, um, the minutes, the constraint was that there were 11 minute episodes. So we cut it very short this time around. I think what we're, what we might do is we might cut a version that's short so that people

who want the sort of add world peace one speed get it but then there's also going to be fucking like five times as much material that's in the longer form cut so it's going to be long nice is it like more fun than you had when you were working on it for Adult Swim? Because I'm sure the total freedom. The lack of freedom at Adult Swim wasn't a huge problem. But it's more fun for every other reason, yeah. Being in Atlanta sucked. um being in it being in atlanta sucked being uh being on a set where the you don't really know what the people's motivation is like there's people that are there

the people for world peace to anybody that's there on set is there they're like hardcore like our um the director bobby hacker the other director a Alex Schultz the cinematographer Alex Luke Alex Lucarini uh Mindless they're all like insanely hardcore and they're doing and because they like want to be there they're not just there for money the stuff that they're doing is fucking so awesome um everybody that's involved is like killing it though. Um, Ben Taylor is our audio guy. He's like, he was like brand new. He didn't know it. He didn't know anything like media related. He learned how to do like pro pro pro audio recording. He's so good. Um, fucking Nick built the sets, Nick, uh, Nick and this guy, there's sets that are, a lot of sets

are built by Nick. A lot of sets are built by Nick a lot of sets are built by this guy Joey who I don't know if he wants to be credited but he's a they're beasts man they're so fucking good the sets are so good who else is involved?

I mean Charles and Eric they're the funniest people on the planet who else is in there? how do you get that group of people together? like are these all extended acquaintances, like friends of friends? No, it's just been people I've been putting together for years. I mean, that's been the quest of my life has been finding people like Jet and all those people I just named who are just very special,

locked in, talented, creative people. I want to hear about the people that suck. Be like, yeah, we got Jed, but Larry, Larry fucking blows. I don't know why he's still around.

I would love to kill some people. Who are you going to fire? Like, like who, who do you fire? Who's not making it to season two? They don't even know yet. We fired some,

some boneheaded retards. We gave them the boot. And they're gone. They're so gone. God damn. John doesn't know it yet. They're not even on the map right now. They're not even on the map.

Oh, my God. Something else you could have them do. They're not even on satellite view. They're so far away. They're so gone. I love it. I love it. What was your idea, Taylor?

I love that they're in another galaxy. And they won't be poisoning your content anymore. Bye, guys. Bye-bye. Bye. Are you heading out? What was your last idea, Taylor? That was my message. Oh, I was like, no, no. That was your last idea, Taylor. That was my message.

Oh, I was like, well, you never know, Sam. I was thinking, and I was high, so I don't know how funny it would be. If you dress them up in like 18th century attire for some sort of murder mystery party and they have to complete it and there's punishments for people who don't do it well, rewards for people who do. Not as good as the drag queen story hour, but something to keep it and there's punishments for people who don't do it well rewards for people who do not as good as the drag queen story hour but something to keep it keep it moving that's a good idea well uh i mean one of the original ideas was to give people cards at the beginning that would say like on this card is a secret about one of your fellow contestants your job is to find out who it refers to. And it's stuff like felony

manslaughter. They've committed a rape. Find out who the rapist is. It's like clue, but now you're scared. Non-felon in the house? You're the only non-felon in the house? Yeah.

That's hilarious. That's a good one. Just ways to make it even more unnerving than it already is in there, I guess. It looks like it's getting dark over there. You guys want to bounce? You want to hang around for the next two? We'll stick around here for two hours if you want. It looks like it's getting dark over there. What time is it?

Let me check. I don't know where you are. They're on the east coast. We can do another 15 minutes. You want another 15 minutes? I'd love to. You want to give us the boot? No, I'm not trying to give you the boot. I'm worried about your safety. Well, hey, I'm safe wherever I go.

You don't need to worry about that. I'm the one-man safety inspector. I don't know. What if you were accosted? I'm the one-man safety inspector. I don't know. What if you were accosted by street toughs? I'm waiting for that to happen. Good luck. You like your chance at insurance? It's the best day of my life.

They might know moves you've never seen before. One thing that does seem likely is that there's going to be an enormous amount of boxing in every season. Is that something we can count on? I was asking. I don't want to overdo it, but it's for my own physical fitness, really, at the end of the day. You know, I got to keep in shape. You got to do your three by three cabinet punches, your fridge, your fridge ups. I think John got concussed three times by you uh i don't know

but we had um but uh cowboy came in and cowboys like uh cowboys like uh can do anything we don't want to say what he is because that's getting trouble but he's a he's a real he's the real deal and he gave a uh concussion inspection yeah and each each time John had a concussion and he just told John that he was good to go, he would look at John and he would go, okay, good to go. Yeah! Like an NFL doctor, yeah.

He's like a bad veterinarian. That's so funny. John, you could tell, was really getting into the boxing. He saw you as a true guru, like a master that was teaching him. He really saw you as Andrew Tate adjacent. Well, I

know he's got an affinity for the top G, but now maybe he's got an affinity for the top g yeah but now maybe he's got an affinity for the tippy top g gold striker i think he does i don't think he can go from gold striker back to to andrew tate that's such a drop in intensity andrew tate will always be john's um john's hero and that's okay but along the way i'll teach him how to how to fight dude that dude posting the most fucking disgusting pictures of meat on his twitter is hilarious just the most isn't all he eats meat and it's despicable it's like unrendered fat not cooked and he's like i'll do it a good another day and it's like yeah and then and then he retweets it too. Yeah, yeah. He'll retweet it days later and be like, this is the steak that I had three days ago.

This big gray blob. Think about diets. You need to eat as many raw meat as possible. Don't overcook my steak because it take away the flavor of the meat. That's so perfect. dr evil almost john's like dr evil i think uh i have you thought about giving the guys or the contestants like an overarching like continuing activity or project or something like that to take up downtime. Something over the course

of the whole thing that gets graded or presented at the end. And if it's a physical, tangible thing that brings a lot of terrorism into the mix in between... They should be able to fuck with each other's projects too, right? We're all building these extravagant ships in a bottle and you just light mine on fire.

It's got to be something that makes us money. It should be phone screen replacement. Yeah, that's a good idea. You just make them sit there and take fact-finding survey quizzes for $2 an hour for some horse shit market research company? You can get paid now to watch

Jewish films. Or listen to Jewish podcasts. Yes! That's what they're doing season two. Listening to Jewish podcasts the whole time. Fuck yeah! They're just listening to every episode of the Daily Forward News or whatever the fuck. That's great.

Yeah, that's, you're going to, you're going to really get them, you know, nice and politically minded listening to NPR. Teach them a thing or two and also get them in the wallet.

Yeah. Well, get them in your wallet with your, damn, that would, sincerely, if you forced them to repair phone screens just for like a day,

something like that. That's so, that's so funny. We got to do that. We have to do it. Two weeks in, you come up to them. Yeah. Mark, you're behind quota.

Yeah. That's all it takes in that it's not a challenge. We're just selling the phone. Hell yeah. Get people that aren't familiar enough with it to know what a resounding success it was with season one. So like halfway through, you're like, guys, if you want the fish bucks,

you're going to have to meet me halfway here with these phone screens. You've got to get it. That was a recurring gag we kept pulling was trying to convince everyone in the house that the show was doing really bad. Which I think is really funny. Telling them we've got to get

out of the 70 to 100 viewer range. Yeah, after opening with the first day, we told them that there's guys there's 750,000 people watching right now all the way down to 70 to 80 people it really turned everybody off you know one thing that's um one thing that's messed up is in the beginning trying to get them uh amped up for fish bucks yeah because it's just a piece of paper that has a piece like a fish printed on it yeah and so like convincing them that this was indeed a real game show with like a monetary cash prize associated with it

that was hard like i i know i just i could just tell even though they might not have necessarily said it i could tell that they didn't care. They didn't think it was worth anything. And then six weeks later, as they're leaving, and it's like we've paid out fucking $7,500 five times over. And the prizes total that were awarded was like $80,000 or $90,000. And I'm like, like god damn that was a huge waste of money because they would have done it like they would have done it for nothing and

they effectively thought they were doing it for nothing like they were doing it for pieces of paper you know that was like the fish about graphic if you type in fish box on google images yeah just the first thing that pops up yeah that's that's why i didn't think it was real yeah it's like an upscale like yeah just the first thing you found i googled fishbucks was uh was the end with the the willy wonka shit the the fake out was that something you guys had planned the whole time that was all sound that was that was scripted uh the day before that was hysterical i it was absolutely surreal watching that live and then like lose like cracking up as you're doing the

like oh really like as as they're reading it making a reread it louder louder josie and yeah it wasn't until you were like all these fucking cunts on twitter that i like realized you were joking but like yeah for a minute i was like this is hilarious but please sam please give these people money please do it i mean that was one of the hardest um in terms of like being gut-wrenching that's probably the hardest performance thing I've ever done because I really don't actually like messing with people. I don't like trolling people, but I'll do anything that's required to get my point across.

But outside of that, I don't want to hurt people or mess with people. But going in there and then trashing the fan base in like a realistic way so the what i what i said was um that i was this this fish tank stuff is all shit what i'm what i'm filming right now world peace 2 i'm making history like like going laying into like egotistical like if if my ego went totally off the rails. And that's a very hard thing to do too because people, obviously some people are going to see that and read into that and think that that's who I really am. So I'm like really playing with fire in terms of my public perception. That's how I felt. Like that's why I felt it was very high risk.

And then like being so mean to so mean to these two girls basically stealing from them scamming them scamming the audience that was very uh just just gut-wrenching to do all that but i'm glad i'm glad it worked out though yeah that's a big risk that's scary and uh i didn't know that like airsoft fatty he did a good job with his little bit part at the end. Yeah. Yeah, you could tell he was a part of it. Very funny. He wasn't in on it. No, man.

Wait, he didn't know? No, he didn't know. And that was almost the riskiest part because I know that if you fuck with Chris's money, he'll stop being afraid of you. He'll stop worrying about whatever the norms are. And he'll just start spitting. It's real tantrum spitting, whatever the worst thing that Chris can do is what he'll do if you mess with his money. And, um, he also like,

so jet came up and prompted him and said, Chris, you got to go in there and help Josie get her money. And when Chris went in the room i heard him say it's okay josie just stick with me which told me that chris thought that he was like in on something but didn't know quite what it was and i knew that like chris improvising what he thought would be funny over what my shit was going to be i knew that would be like ruinous so um that was risky too. Yeah.

And that would have ruined the whole finale. Yeah, and Chris also, he stood up to me too. I was screaming in his face, and he was like, so really we've got to be childish about this? He was standing up to me, which also could have turned south too. He's got balls. He's a good man. But we just powered through it.

Got it done. At the end, you should just give him a bill for the rent. Charge him. Charge him for damages. You're like, yeah, you won all this, but after the rent, you actually owe me. You won the $30,000, but damn, every night here

was two grand. I'm not courageous enough to do that to Chris, because his flip out would be something that we wouldn't really be able to handle, I don't think. Yeah. He is. He's got a baffling amount of energy for someone his size. Yeah.

He really doesn't sleep that much. He's not that lethargic for a big guy. Yeah, he's always moving around. He's always – Oh, yeah. Except big guy. He's always moving around. He's always, Oh yeah. Except for when he's on the couch sleeping. Oh, the way it was,

it was, there were some times that like I would pop in in the morning to see what was going on. And it'd be like, all right, fucking seven hours ago, fatty was like yelling. There's no way he's awake.

And then it'd be him like singing, like booming loud at, at 7. A.M. And you can like go to all the other cameras and hear it resonating. That was so funny. We got him. We were like, hey, Chris, that song's copyrighted, man.

It's a TV show. Can you change it up a bit? Then he was like, to be a typical kind of guy. Yeah. Yeah, he was. Yeah, he was. He was singing a simple kind of guy yeah yeah he was yeah he was he was singing a simple kind of guy a simple kind of dude because he told the dude he was it was so accurate that you were going to get in trouble because you're totally on youtube right yeah yeah well i'm looking forward to season two that's going to be super good and funny uh world peace 2 is there anything you want to push pimp that that people can go check out right now i'm starting an only fans so go to onlyfans.com search for sam hyde that's going to pop right up

for you what about you jet what do you got i'm starting a a Fansly. Oh, no shit. Yeah. They got to you? They got you the deal? Yeah. The creator splits. The revenue is a little inches better than OnlyFans. I understand. You can't show butthole on Fansly, though. You can't? I don't know. No, no butthole.

Wait, is that true? No. It's a deal breaker, Kyle. No, all those, they make their bones on buttholes, those sites. Buttholes require Fansly. They make their bones on buttholes. I make my bone on butthole. Do you guys have anything you want to plug? Yeah, check out the Painkiller Already podcast. You're watching it now.

You should check that out. It's PKA podcast. Look it up. Buy our cum pills. Buy our cum pills. Buy our cum pills. Buy Lock and Load. You know what? For season two, we're going to have an enormous shipment of Lock and Load cum pills sent to the house free of charge.

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We want these contestants coming a lot You do I know you guys are Comically large loads Everybody's single there now Get yourself comically large loads All the fish tank fans watching Nice

Thanks for coming on guys Thank you for having us I'll check you later Later guys Peace watching nice oh yeah exciting guys thank you for having us thank you yeah for sure all right i'll check you later all right later guys peace i don't know how to turn them off oh we'll just hold on for your evening just mute it and yeah one hour and 46 minutes that's when he said the n-word over and over and over Zach. Just so you know. Oh, did you write that down? I realized like three minutes after that happened, I'm like, that was probably three minutes ago.

Probably like, let me write that down. But we're over. So real quick, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. This episode of PKA brought to you by Blue Chew, folks. Blue Chew. Let's talk about sex. Guys, shouldn't you always be at your best? 2023 is the year to maximize your performance in the bedroom.

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I feel like from I feel like from was a good pitch but season 2 has been a real let down like maybe one good episode maybe one good episode's worth of events have happened in season 2 you know what I mean the rest of it's been filler and nonsense I agree 100% it took him an hour to cut that body open and that's just

inexcusable yes like i said i like why are we going inside with it get your knife out we don't need tools hack it open who cares if we make a mess let's see what's inside it's not a fucking it's not our friend that we need to be respectful over the way we cut him open. Like, oh, Taylor died. We have to find out what he ate. We need to know which mushroom he ate. Cut him open. We'd be so respectful. Turns out it was salted meats. Turns out it was just spoiled eggs. Good God, his heart popped.

What sort of demon did this? There's this new show called Silo. This is an enormous amount of cheese in this cavernous midday. This is enormous amount of cheese in this cavernous midday. This is where all the cheese went. We hung Lario for the missing cheese. Taylor's colon has 18 pounds of compacted cheddar in it.

Look at him. He wasn't even enjoying it. Barely chewed. You can see the sedimentary layers of crackers made himself a whole charcuterie board with a week's worth of rations this new show though

Silo it's actually brand new so I think Apple TV so you know you'll want to just get on the pirate ship with Woody that guy has the plex I'm going to send him my information so know get on the just get on the pirate um ship with uh with with woody that guy has the plex i'm gonna send him my information so i get on the plex too and get on board with this thing um i'm i pay for apple but so i have it but it's also where for all men

mankind is so it's worth having apple they have premiere pro they're the new hbo in my opinion they spend a lot of money on their shit hbo cancels shit after two seasons now, like Netflix. The new HBO is fucking Apple. They make premier, high-budget programming with A-list stars in it. And that's what Silo is kind of feeling like so far. So it's really interesting. The characters,

there are 10,250 some-odd people living underground in a silo. I don't know how many levels it is i'm sure they've said it but it's hundreds of levels and there's every there's a level with cattle on it you know there's there's levels are they trapped that's the thing up top is poison and they sort of have this this saying it's almost like yes well they speak english yeah yeah um it's almost like their pledge of allegiance.

It's something, it goes something like, we don't know why we're in the silo. We don't know how long we've been here. We just know that it's, we don't know when it'll be safe to go up top. We know that that time is not now. They had this camera view of what it looks like up top. And it's like a wasteland. They had this one view. And when someone is punished, they're sent out to clean and so they get sent out up top in a suit

and they they they clean the camera off so we can get a better view of the wasteland so no one forgets just how horrific it is out there and then the poison kills them within like 30 seconds of that they got like a minute or two to survive up there and then they die. And you can see the bodies that just always there. There's some room for shenanigans in this, right? Perhaps. Yeah. So, so our characters are, uh, start off being the sheriff.

He's, he's this, uh, black gentleman who I like a lot. And Rashida Jones, she's the actors, actresses name. She was in the office. She played Jim's girlfriend. Yeah. Stanford. I like her. She was in The Office. She played Jim's girlfriend from Stanford. Oh, I like her. She was in Parks and Rec. She kills it in episode one.

She's what got me so into the show, just fucking balls deep. There's a lot going on. It's a bit of a fascist society. Because things are so limited, you have to get permission to reproduce. And they take your birth control out, and now you can try to have a baby only like 200 babies a year or maybe 10 babies a year it's something very small and um there's a mayor there there's a there's a sheriff there's law enforcement and i don't want to fall out it's it reminds me a lot of fallout there's a lot of fallout influences it reminds me a lot of planet of the's a lot of fallout influences it reminds me a lot of

planet of the apes how there's that forgotten you know we used to be they don't know what's this i don't want to spoil too much about what they know because you're kind of fed that over time right off the bat you don't have this huge moment of exposition like in a classroom where and children what happened then like they don't do that for you. So it's, I'm in, I'm three or four, no, I'm six episodes in now. And, uh, episode seven comes out tomorrow. Uh, and I haven't seen episode six yet. I'm on it. Um, so I, I, I'm, I'm almost caught up. It is really good. The mysteries in this, they start off and they're like, Hey, there's, we don't know about this. We don't know about that. The next episode, they tell you. Next episode, they go down there and look

at that. There it is. I was so happy that these characters are all intelligent. They all have conversations amongst each other. I do think one of the things that's happened, this isn't much of a spoiler, is that the people that they're letting reproduce are the more docile

people, the people who don't ask too many questions, the people who go with the program and salute the flag, you know, because all the characters seem like they're a little slow to pick things up at first. They're slow to question the status quo, but slowly the status quo begins to unravel, and everyone starts asking questions our main characters in particular uh it's real good i can't recommend how much is that one season six episodes are out uh the seventh episode comes out tomorrow friday um and i'm assuming it's going

to be 10 it's been great it's been great uh there's there's three or four main characters that are quite good and like episode, there's more mystery. But then at the same time, we progress and we go do a thing. Shit happens. I'm really digging it. And the budget's good. The silo itself looks cool. All their imagery looks cool.

They have flags. They have pins. How much is Apple? $8? Yeah, $8. have you had it before no i've never had i'm pretty sure there's a three month free trial which is pretty far okay yeah that gives me a lot of time to forget i signed up for that yeah i'm sure they didn't think of that it's a dude i bled money into motor trend for two years as an addition to prime because i wanted to watch all the old top gears i watched them all in like all the ones i wanted to in like four days in 2020 and then like three months ago i remembered to cancel it i forget who it was

kyle and i might have been the same guy twitch streamer and i'm like what i he quit twitch like two years ago and i've been reliably giving him five bucks a month all this time i do that like i'll get any like a thing on my phone that's like you have just paid 4.99 and i'm like ah at some point this month we'll rectify that you charge it back damn no no not charge back i mean i i will i'll tell like subscription at some point yeah no yeah i canceled uh i canceled netflix the other day i've had it for uh 12 years i'm a 12 year subscriber uh they they immediately hey don't do it well we'll take a little off and i'm like like, no, that's not the problem. And I'm done with Netflix. There's nothing good on there that I really want to watch. It's become a Seinfeld service for me.

It's a Seinfeld service. And I figure whenever I'm ready to watch Seinfeld again, I'll give them 20 bucks and I'll watch Seinfeld that month and then take it away. But it's just too soon. It just sucks. And it has nothing to do with them taking the multi i actually them taking the multi um thing away i would have i would have hung in there because i had i got like two hanger-ons you know on my account i don't mind that a bit hop on board guys but now that they're not gonna get the benefit it's like hey i i i was kind of keeping it for them but now it's no we're getting out of here because i'm certainly not gonna have a netflix at my house that doesn't work that i pay for that's not happening like going scrolling

through netflix really is like just digging through a garbage can looking for like edible food like it's mostly just absolute trash it's so then like you'll scroll past something that sounds awesome and you're like whoa and then you then you open it up, and it's Turkish, and everybody's name is 65 letters long, and then it's poorly dubbed. I find myself watching shit like that on Netflix more, because I'd rather watch a badly dubbed show that has an interesting plot

than just some stupid nonsense on Netflix that they're pumping out. Well, again, I can't recommend silo enough i love the mystery of why we're in the silo and um you know oh and here's another thing this isn't a spoiler you learn this right away history ends 140 years ago that's all they've got because there was a rebellion and in the rebellion everything got deleted and arrest and erased uh their technology their technology they have computers and they have like an it guy it's tim robbins fucking tim rock andy dufram from um

um shawshank shawshank uh he's he's a little he's an older gentleman now he's perfect for this role he's just a piece of shit uh he's such a he's like a nitpicker he runs the it department and he's very precise about his job but the computers kind of look like fallout computers. They're kind of like these somewhere between a tube and a, but, and it's sort of rounded and squared off the way these tube monitors work. I really like that. I think it even has green font, uh, like, like green, you know,

like those old, yeah. They call it like a CRT. Yeah. No, no flat screens, screens uh no flat screen technology um and um radio you know because they've been down there we don't know how long they've been down there it could have been 10,000 years i don't i don't know but um again 140 years ago as far back as history goes and they don't know much of anything what you see as time sort of goes on they don't know the basics of what life is like outside this bunker and the things that wouldn't exist there like they've never seen more water than would fill a sink or a bathtub how would they so that's uh no i guess that makes

sense yeah yeah so real fun show i'm really loving it I'm going to watch it as soon as I get off, get off here. I'm hyped. I'll start that too. So I can, I can chat about it with you. I won't regret it. I started Barry again a few days ago and I'm like in season two of that, I think. And like, it's good. I restarted it because I like did not remember a lot of it. I had, I was like only like half paying attention when I scrolled, like watch it the first time. It's a good show. That guy's a good actor. Bill Hayter.

He's amazing. Bill Hayter. So good. Um, his eyes, his eyes are very expressed by all of the parts of the show about acting. Um, other than the couple handful of scenes that are like Bill Hayter doing really

good when he like utilizes his, uh, fucking, you know, murderous shit. Uh, but other than like every, the main, uh, handful of scenes that are like bill hater doing really good when he like utilizes his uh fucking you know murderous shit uh but other than like every the main uh girl character is so grating and difficult to deal with when she's on screen she's so so disinteresting that it's hard for me to keep like i'm so dis it there's such a chasm of what barry's doing is interesting and what she's doing is not that when she comes on screen and if Barry's not on there with her, it's like I'm not even paying attention. I don't care about her little acting jobs.

It doesn't matter. You know what I could do? I've actively fast forwarded through multiple acting sections of it, and I have not lost any part of the show. I don't think I don't. I don't think I would. I know. I mean, shit. Simultaneously telling Kyle you like his pick

and hate it he's like I'm glad no I just go up I'm firing through this scene the best parts of the show are definitely Barry Fuchs who's his mentor slash manipulator and Bill Dautreve.

And Bill Dautreve. That guy has had some... I love him in everything. He was so good in... Office Space. Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? Yeah, he's the little dwerby guy in Office Space. I've heard of Bill Dautreve.

I've told you. He's the blind DJ in Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? They come in and they want to perform. He's like, we heard you pay $5 singing to a can. Hey! Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Now, how many are you fellas? There's three of them. Oh, there's five of us.

They're charging for people that aren't there because he's blind. That character's great. I've always liked him in everything. And Bill Dautreve? When is that coming back? They're redoing it, right? I thought about this a while back, but nothing seems to have happened. I don't know when they're bringing it back.

I'll watch it. The writer's strike is going to fuck it up. As long as Mike Judge is there to keep it under control and to keep it true to form, true to King of the Hill, hopefully it'll be good. You don't want

a time jump, though. No. If there's a time jump, I'm going to be really upset. I don't want an adult Bobby. What if they... Yeah. You need Bobby as a kid. You need them all. What if Bobby was dead? That would be awful. Why would they kill Bobby?

I don't know. Check out this jump! Bobby, whoa! I always hatedby because he's fucking like you know he's a loser all right maybe he's not a loser but but like you don't want to be bobby you know like you don't you don't want to be bobby you just kind of so i'm tolerating his shenanigans and i'm i always identified more with hank even though he's a bit of a like i don't know he's he's kind of lame i remember laced yeah what what's uh what was that whore's name that wanted to fuck him she's like no one says no to debbie money bag i just did and grabs oh i like that yeah i love that hank is like a faithful man that that the hottest chick in town is throwing herself

at him and he's just running from her so awkwardly trying to trying to get away trying to and he's heading back home to peggy oh you're giant feet peggy no she's not peggy's like ugly in every imaginable way she's just she's annoying she has to get these special shoes and it's a whole conspiracy that she goes through to get them. She has them special made and like 100 miles from her house or something like that. And I think they go through this thing of changing the number, the size. So no one knows that she wears like a size 27. Something crazy.

They're these big clown shoes. Yeah. And Peggy's a fraud. For some reason, I thought she was like Marge Simpson. Marge Simpson doesn't play a hot character, but she lets her hair down every once in a while and puts on something a little tighter, and you're like, oh, actually, I see it.

Oh, yeah, Marge is hot. Marge is hot for sure. I like Marge a lot more than Peggy. Well, they both do what they're supposed to do within the context of the show, right? You need Peggy in King of the Hill to be that annoyance that kind of

antagonizes Hank and Bobby in the neighborhood and creates conflicts at times. I think they shook hands at their wedding or some shit. It's so fucking... I don't know. I always liked King of the Hill, but I wasn't in love with it like you've always been. I've never done a rewatch.

I haven't watched it in years and years. After you... I'm jumping to Silo. You've got to jump to King of the Hill and The Simpsons again. Yeah, it's 1997 and Fox is on tonight. I'm bummed neither of you guys like my shows. I like Ted Lasso right now.

I like that one, yeah. Oh, Succession is the other one. Those are very good and well-liked shows. I wanted to like it. So it's nothing about your taste in shows. Not this time. Yeah, not at all. Those are very good shows.

I'm looking forward to The Boys coming back. I'm worried this writer's strike is going to push some of those shows that we really enjoy but seem like they are on an 18-month rotation even further to the point where people start getting old. The cast of The Boys isn't going to be young forever. If the next season is a year from now and the season after that is two years from then, Jesus Christ, what are we doing? The boys did something oddly smart.

Most of them aren't even that fit. They just wear superhuman costumes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. The A-Train's pretty fit. But even he, I think, some of it's costume. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to that show. And like I mentioned to Taylor earlier, but For All Mankind, I'm psyched to get get back into for all mankind because i don't know if you remember how that ended but margo was in the said defected to the soviet union we had skipped forward to the the mid 90s or so oh well fuck me no it's okay it's okay that's okay i just assumed you finished the show i was thinking of watching that with Jackie. Very good. Yeah, to me, that's one of the AAA titles that's on TV right now.

If I was going to make a top ten list of shows that are actually on TV right now, not the old shit that we will rewatch over and over, that would definitely be in the top five for all mankind it's so fun i like those characters i care about what they're doing and i really enjoy that alternate history thing it drags a little sometimes yeah i don't remember it dragging but here's the storyline uh i think you you've complained about it dragging in some of the seasons where you're like you know they haven't gone to space for like nine episodes now this is a show about going to space you're right i remember saying that yeah yeah i

got some rose-colored glasses a little bit but just to me the the highlights of that show are definitely enough to to make me love it um uh the other one um is that i've never watched but it's alternate history is man in the high castle did you ever get into that i maybe the first season it's yeah the maybe the south wins a civil war and that has no world war ii how does it go well i i've never watched it but i i know that the united states loses world war ii and japan and the nazis split the united states and japan has i'm sure the west coast and and obviously in the and germany would own the um the east coast and i think they got like literally split in half down the middle and so the u.s is living under that nazi occupation i think the statue of liberties may be replaced with a sig

heiling statue of some kind or something like that and it's like full-on nazi flags flying they should have split it on the Mississippi River. Makes way more sense. They may have. I just one time glanced at a map, but I've never gotten into that. But honestly, it kind of seems, oh, North America's still hanging on there in the center, huh? I think that's maybe what that's representing.

In the Midwest, you've got the orange of alaska down to the i'm imagining japan being the orange side and germany being the red yeah yeah as well oh when you're saying the gray is us yeah yeah like what oh mexico perhaps oh maybe or maybe it's just the unaffiliated nations there it's not a great map but yeah, I I've never gotten into that. The reason is, I kind of feel we won that one. I don't want to see that one taken away.

Yeah, this America's finest victory we single-handedly won it. They were all about to die until we got there and rescued them. And if I recall correctly, the Russians and the British and the French, they just thanked us for what we did. Well, the British and the French certainly did.

They paid us back for a long time. That would have gone very differently without the United States intervention because the British were starving. The British didn't have pilots. The British didn't have planes. The British didn't have anything. They were done. When they got at Dunkirk, the entire British army was trapped on that beach.

Like all of them. And they were going to die. Churchill orders, I think there's 4,000 or 6,000 men at Calais, which is further down on a French beach. which is further down on a French beach. He orders them to run up and delay the entire German offensive for as long as they can so that he can get the men off the beach. That was Operation Dynamo, where they mobilized the entire British civilian fleet, hundreds and hundreds of boats, anything 30 feet or longer, I think, and sent them

to france and just picked all the guys up they uh the they didn't think they were gonna get any of them out at first churchill's like what do you mean you're telling me that i've lost the entire british professional army yes sir jesus boys what if we didn't do it because he just took over 300 000 soldiers were rescued That's a huge number. That was just the Brits. The French were there getting their asses eaten. The French had capitulated right away. It's...

But they were fucked without our intervention. We wouldn't even give them the planes. There's this real fun moment in a movie about the whole thing where churchill calls franklin uh roosevelt uh he's like hey times are rough over here can you can you if you could send us 50 battleships even 40 40 would do he's like ah you know we my hands are tied with that treaty i signed last year there's nothing i can do he's like, you know, my hands are tied with that treaty I signed last year. There's nothing I can do.

He's like, all right, well, what about those P-40 fighter planes that we bought from you? When can we get those here? Well, you got me again there. Hands tied. You know, I can't get those to you either. I'm not allowed to ship military armaments by sea anymore. I don't know what to do. But we paid for them

with the money we borrowed from you. And what they did was, he's like, well, we could drive them within a mile of the Canadian border. Remember, Canada's part of the British Empire. We could drive them within a mile of the Canadian border,

the fighter planes, and you could send men with horses over. Nothing with a motor. You could tow them back to Canada. Horses? Did you say horses, Franklin? Well, you could push them. They do have wheels. And that's what they did.

Until, you know, Japan attacked and ruined the whole fucking thing. That was a strategic mistake. Yeah, and then we started sending planes and pilots and everything else they need i was reading about this polish fighter uh group that fought in the battle of britain and their numbers were like 20 times more efficient than any other unit uh in the battle of britain and i watched this whole documentary about how the polish had this they would have 6 000 um applicants for the air force

academy and they would take 100 and and they would base it a lot mostly on eyesight at first and aptitude and so their guys were like fucking eagle-eyed the hundred they picked were had incredible vision they would always spot planes and they uh they had had to fight in shitty planes against the best of the germans so when they got to the battle of britain these guys had 5 000 hours of experience like a fucking video game pro and everybody else had like 100 150 300 hours and uh their record was insane i don't i can't remember off the top i never heard about that that's really cool yeah it's like the uh 303rd uh battalion or something like 303 that that number's in my head. I've been... Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, go ahead.

It was a topic change kind of. I've been following the Ukraine war. The big counteroffensive has kind of started. And... It's not easy, it would seem, to take all this land back. Now, they're getting land.

If you guys remember russia like 100 meters a day just you know marching forward these guys are taking 2 000 meters a day just kilometers grabbing it they're grabbing high land too you know like the strategically important land but i'm watching leopards get blown up ukrainians dying one uh maybe you're right um uh i'm watching that dam got blown up they're they're like trying to rescue people from the flooded areas and they're bombing utility artillery at the rescue efforts these aren't soldiers or anything these are just civilians in houses boats yeah like bad boats. The town's flooded. The town's flooded. They're in rowboats.

These people are in the second story out their windows screaming for help. Artillery. Can't wait for the movie. Fires in. I can't say the word artillery. There we go. Artillery is just raining down on the civilians in these flooded out towns.

And it's just like, these are hard days for Ukraine right now. And I guess what happened in the fall was when the Ukraine counteroffensive really launched, the Russians ran. So they were getting 15, 100 kilometers in a day, 60 kilometers in a day. Like great, big, successful efforts. Now they're getting two, which is good, but you really set expectations in the fall

where the Russians would just turn tide and start running, scared, and that doesn't seem to be happening. There's fights. Well, they've got to demine as they go. I knew this. That's the big thing. It's got to be happening. There's fights. Well, they've got to demine as they go. I've never... I knew this. That's the big thing. It's got to be, right? Like, that area is saturated with

anti-vehicle and anti-personnel mines, and they've got to go through that. And they've got to... I was watching you know, like, six or eight Ukrainian vehicles try to cross a field. Mostly they were running into mines. You know? Like, if they can't deal with the mines, then they're never going to make those big multiple is that what destroyed the leopard tank no artillery

strike an artillery strike on an armored um look at him casually pronounce that word like it's easy so is losing a leopard a huge deal because one hadn't been lost before? That's the first one I know of. Technically, it's the first leopard to ever be destroyed in armed conflict by a hostile force. It is true. Here's another little fact. The United States Abrams has never been destroyed by enemy contact. We've driven them into rivers and killed the crew.

They've been hit, and then the blowout box has gone off. I believe you. I think there's some friendly fire incidents, and there's also incidents. I've just read this today, so I don't know what's true. I believe you. But the Americans have destroyed their own Abrams to prevent them from getting,

like they said that the enemy didn't get them. But the way Kyle phrased it, it's the same thing that I've heard, which is an enemy is never destroyed in Abrams. Leopards are German anyway, right? Yeah, they're actually the tank that was exactly designed to do what those tanks are being used for right now, and that's fight a war

in Ukraine. But back when the, you know, it was designed in the 70s, made in the 80 um but back when the you know it was designed in the 80 or designed in the 70s made in the 80s to deal with the soviet union and a potential you know rush across poland trying to trying to fucking take europe kind of situation there's leopard ones and leopard twos i think they've been sitting fairly significant numbers like there's a couple hundred there are being sent at least maybe two or three hundred you got to remember the russians have another five or six thousand tanks left though yeah it takes a huge kill death ratio to do this or you'd have to hope that the russians don't need to fight to the last tank you know but

it's uh you know the ukrainians are taking land back it's going you I'd do? It's just hard. What? If I were president, I'd be like, China, about this. We give you half of Taiwan and you invade Russia from the other side. They say no.

Oh, yes. We take all of Taiwan and you try stop us. I mean, that's been war game. They lose that every time. We're not going to go to war with China over Taiwan. We will absolutely go to war with China over Taiwan. We will not.

Want to bet? Yes. You will think we'll have a war with China over Taiwan? You don't have to blow up China. We're going to defeat their invasion flotilla or whatever it comes. It's going to be a sea air battle, and we're going to win it. It's going to be a high attrition rate. It's been war-gamed a bunch.

We know what's going to happen. Maybe. Hope not. Hope we don't have a war with China. How do we get there in time? I guess we see them before. We're there. We're there right now.

Okay, so I acknowledge that, but my suspicion is that if we were going to go to war with China, we'd want to be even more there. We're there right now, ready to win. Really? Yes, absolutely. Taiwan's a fucking missile island.

We have a fleet there. We drive between um taiwan and china and mainland china constantly that's the south china sea that they're so fucking pissy about you mean the ships drive woody that they have wheels these are driving modern naval vessels are go down to the sea floor they i was unaware okay to combat climate change. See, I'm a seaman. That is the first swimming competition I ever won. You might swim in all, but as a seaman, we just

drive across the ocean floor. No, I think we're there in significant numbers to win. I think the idea right now is that it would be a bad idea for them to try to land. They've been building their Marine Corps for years, though. It's really interesting. The drills they run are invasion of Taiwan drills

where everybody gets in landing craft, goes across and everything. But we're there in enormous numbers now. I still think... So China, as far as I know, hasn't had a war in a long time. I think their entire military command has never fought a war.

And my suspicion is they get a lot of shit wrong. They shit on us in Korea. They sent, I don't know how many, I think it was 20,000 Chinese is the number in my head, against one, I don't know the military numbers,

but it was like one division of Marines or something like that. We were farming them for XP, but they pushed us all the way back down to that parallel there because you know there was we were dying they destroyed us they won there was 20 to 21 advantage or something like that you got a lot more people than we do that's when macarthur wanted to nuke them he wanted to nuke the chinese all the way back to some the yellow river maybe i hope that's not racist i think it's called the yellow river i think he wanted to bomb them back to there and uh to nuke them back yeah it's still what i said it was 1952 53 or so we thought of nukes a

lot differently than we do right now he wanted to tactically yeah he you know 15 or 20 or so you know but make that say all right so let's acknowledge that in 1952 uh we had a real hard time with china that tells me that almost no living person in like that was 70 years ago so or 71 years ago if my math is right might be and uh none of these guys have battle experience none of these guys have battle experience none of these guys have engaged in a war before they're just like watching other people do it reading old books their tactics could be wildly out of date for modern machinery their weapons are all untested they're all just copies of our chinese copies of our shit hopefully they're good at copying stuff they're all so bad at copying stuff it's all yeah i hope we get to find out that'd be cool you know i'm always down for some some

cool stuff to happen find out well you know i said last week like i hope somebody drops like a little nuke over there like like not a big one but but like i want to see i want to see whatever the most powerful nuke is on the moon. Somewhere that it's even ground, it's not going to hurt anyone. Even ground? On the moon? Even ground as in it's not fucking with anyone and causing a war. It's not contested in the way

that if you tested it off the coast of Japan they're not going to be stoked on that. You could do it on the moon. There's a treaty against doing that. They can't stop us. It's our treaty. do it on the moon there's a treaty against doing that they can't stop us it's our treaty we agreed with the russians though actually that might be out of date because i know the russians didn't sign back up to something recently and we were like okay well we you're no longer we're not going to update you on our icbm tests and we're not going to allow inspectors here they and they just get rid of the moon get rid of these pesky tides. Same height all the time.

The beach is comfortable. You don't have to move your chair. Did you watch that horseshit movie Moonfall, where the moon falls into the water? That's fairly recent, right? Like two or three years ago. Halle Berry is a goddamn astronaut in this movie, and she's backed up by fucking Sam from fucking Game of Thrones.

And I can't remember who the white man is. Is he playing the moon? I'm sure they had a low white man to fill in the gap between those two, but I can't remember who it was. And the whole movie, like three quarters of it's a Roland Emmerich movie. He did like Independence Day, 2012,

all those great. Yeah. Terrible. The gay Batman movies. He's a gay man himself. That's why the Batman's nipples were all weird. And the codpiece zoom ins and everything. I haven't seen those.

Yeah, you want to avoid those. So three quarters of the movie, the moon is just falling at the Earth and the gravity's fucking everything up. And they're like, oh no, we can't launch the spaceship to save Earth because it doesn't have enough fucking juice or whatever. And it's like, oh, but look,

the moon's gonna pull us up. If we launch right when the moon starts to pulling on us hard we can do it and hally berry's like good i can launch the space shuttle with my phone here so everybody get in and they launch the space shuttle with one button pressed by themselves and they go up into space and then apparently they just have like a little shuttle craft they hop into that is so fast, maneuverable and has such incredible range that holy shit. What is the Star Wars Star Wars style shuttle? The moon opens up and they go inside and there's like an A.I. inside the moon. And it's like. It's got a fucking collapsed fucking dwarf star inside of the moon and and there's a whole

backstory where humanity was a galactic society but ai turned on us and so you know we had to go back to the stone yeah it was hiding out in the moon it was awful you watched the so bad i saw this movie too i remember 10 of what kyle remembers yeah i didn't watch it how do you know so much about it i watched a 15 minute video about how bad it is it is a terrible terrible movie i even when i watch a bad movie i don't usually feel like i've been ripped off i felt hoodwinked it was so terrible i wanted my money and my time back i should be an hour and a half younger if this world was more fair but it's so bad that sucks getting like an hour into a movie pausing it seeing there's 27 minutes left and you're like i've been had i've been had like you got me

there was something interesting 45 minutes ago. It'll never be addressed. And that's the end. There needs to be more good content out there. Well, I'm going to watch this Silas shit you recommended. That sounds interesting. Yeah, I promise you. You're going to be into this. It's also got... The only thing I can remember this actor being in,

because I don't know his name. Remember Independence? No, no, no. Remember... What's the one where Bruce Willis and the boys go up Armageddon when the oil drillers go into space to save Earth? I haven't seen that. All right, well, let's just move the fuck on then.

Wait, is that the movie where instead of hiring astronauts who learn how to plumb, they hire plumbers? Yes, because it's easier to teach oil drillers how to astronaut than it is to teach astronauts how to drill. They literally said that in the movie. That can't be true. I think there's a line in the movie where they said it took years to decide to swap

monkeys for astronauts. It was really a nothing job. It is absurd. By the way, I watch a bunch of those. It'd be so funny if it was a nothing job. They're just futzing around. Guys guys nobody admit what we're doing just allude to a lot of maths there could just be lego characters in there it's all done from houston i think it was john glenn but there was a guy up there by himself and one of those little fucking pods that we call a

spaceship back then and his guidance computer this this this gyroscopically stabilized thing fails completely so he has no way to calculate his re-entry so he takes a grease pen and draws on the glass of the capsule and lines it up with some stars and shit and then does manual burns looking at his wristwatch thrust her off thrust her off it was the most accurate re-entry in nasa history he landed so close to the ships they watched him come down is this real yeah that's part of the movie yeah Yeah. No, that's real. There was no movie. That's just like an occurrence that happened. That's an impressive astronaut.

A dog couldn't have done that. No. No. They just let those dogs die. Very few chimps could have. They just blow it off. Have you seen anything about chimps in there? I don't think any chimps could do it.

Yeah. Chimps have excellent short-term memory. I've seen that. Yeah. It's amazing. I know if it's true or not right oh like like they can twist it bop it pull it what about their long-term memory though like if i slap one today and come back a year from now will it eat my fingers yes yeah do that anyway it's a chimp it'd be like this guy's kind of like that other guy

let's be safe you don't have to count on their long-term memory like like if i slap an alligator then come back in three years it will definitely bite me yeah well i mean if you stick your hand in its mouth for sure but would the chimp go out of its way would it be like mother fucker like you know that moment in pulp fiction where marcell Marcellus Wallace looks up and Bruce Willis is in that car? Yeah. Motherfucker. Would the chimp do that? My monkey's pretty fucking far from okay.

What are you going to do, chimpo? I'm going to get me about five pipe-banging chimps. Take the homes here. I love that. I haven't seen that in a long time. I't either i'm so terrified of those chimps man you really like there's a chimp mauling in that movie uh nope that is real hard to watch like like he goes he goes chimp on like a they're filming a a family TV show, and he goes chimp on the whole cast, like mommy, daddy, and all the kids, and starts going to town with a studio audience. So everybody's losing their shit.

And it's filmed from the point of view of the little boy. He's like, it's crazy. It's a real good scene. Monkeys freaking out and ripping people's noses off. Tearing their faces off. Yeah, literally eating their faces off and tearing their fingers off and shit. Going real gruesome with it.

Chimps are awful, man. They're ornery animals if you piss them off. You don't want to... And they're so much stronger than you think. You don't want to mess with them. Here's a scenario. You're offered a chimpanzee. It's three months old.

It's got its diaper. Would you take a chimpanzee right now if it were legal and given to you? I have too much wisdom. No. No, that would be life-altering. I have a chimp in my house now. It's three months old, which means in in eight weeks it's going to be strong enough to rip my hands off and so like i got weights around i got sharp things in the house

like no you're worried it's going to arm itself yes i walk in the back and it's going to be sharp in a stick against my fence i'm going to be like you get out there it's like it's like planet of apes it's trying to figure out how to take the safety off the ship. He's figuring out how to open things. You've been heard on the chimpanzee thing. Acknowledged. Which wild animal would you pick? A wild animal.

The wildest animal. The wildest animal. I feel like you could get a raccoon pretty well trained. Something neat there. It's a low-T wild animal, Taylor. Yeah, it is. It hangs on your shoulder when you go in public? It's not what I'm talking about. I'm looking for danger. We're going for danger? I agree.

The raccoon is the slowest reptile. Raccoons are the best exotic pet. Bar none. They really are. If you have the attention for them and don't mind baby-proofing your house, they're really fucking smart and cool they have people hands that shit's neat but i was looking more for like what's the most dangerous animal that you would allow into your home the most the one most capable of causing physical bodily harm to another uh you know to a people it ruins out my tropical fish idea no it'd probably be a poisonous snake like you keep that

locked in put a bunch of heavy books on the top and you know it's going to be safe i wouldn't no i would not allow i keep it on death's door i barely feed it oh good so when it gets out it'll be it'll be good and he's not gonna have enough energy. How long am I keeping it? It's like an LED. There's no heat on it. I put a fan in there. Hey, you ever seen a snake shiver?

Come here. How long do you keep it? If I only keep it for three months, it'd be different if I kept it until death. To death? come here it's like you're mistreating keep it if you finally keep it for three months my difference it'd be different if i kept it till death to death you have it's your pet now oh it's your pet you gotta i can't fuck around with like a baby polar bear and hope it doesn't grow no it's gonna grow no i want something that you can find to a tree i would uh if i uh if i had like the room for it and everything i would take a wolf hybrid for sure.

The bad part of that, you'd have to be in a place where you had a farm, though, so you had access to raw meat because feeding one would get so – they only eat raw meat because it's a wolf. It gets crazy, crazy expensive. They don't eat dog food? No, they eat raw meat. What if you want them to be big and healthy? They're wolves.

Yeah, they eat raw meat. They're carn them to be big and healthy. They're wolves. Yeah, they eat raw meat. They're carnivores, not omnivores like dogs. So the dogs have this sort of more well-rounded diet. I thought wolves were omnivores also. They can eat like berries and shit, right? No, that's bears. That's bears. Well, I know bears love berries.

It's in the name. Yeah. I'm choosing to stick with this even though you've you've knocked me like five percent off certainty i googled it wolves can't process grains therefore they can't have a healthy life on dog food yeah yeah i would be i'd be willing to do one of those foxes i would do but that not in the house those things piss everywhere i love the fox youtube channels for the ladies like she's got 30 foxes and she knows them all by name yeah billy come get your egg and billy's like like he loves those fucking eggs he takes it and runs away with his ass shaking when you domesticate them they become more and more dog-like yeah we've talked about

before there's that russian experiment where they took uh the the foxes and every generation they culled out any aggressiveness and uh they kept going and you could you could knock generations of foxes out quick so within like 15 years they had like 80 generations or some shit some shit done and these things had had like turned into dogs their their ears went droopy their tails went like like like went more droopy and other features. They started wagging their tails and having dog-like attributes. And even then, not good pets. No, good pets then. They created domesticated, friendly foxes that wanted to be your buddy.

They're a very cute animal. Those fennec foxes with the big ears. Oh, is that a brea fox? I thought that was just a kind of fox. A fennec fox? Aren't those the ones with the big ears. Oh, is that a Brilla fox? I thought that was just a kind of fox. A fennec fox? Aren't those the ones with the big ears? How is a breed different than a kind? I don't know if it is. Oh, I don't want to get into that.

That always circles back around to racism. We need Sam Hyde to tell us more about that. I have 18 deer, 4 cats, a mated pair of falcons, and a hummingbird that I keep outside in my yard. In your yard? Yeah, I've got a couple.

Free range. Free range. Yeah, there's a fendic fox. Oh, look at that cute little fucker. He's adorable. I bet if you could like. You can tell by the way he's looking that he wants to be touched. I bet he makes.

He looks a lot like a cat from the neck down he uh i bet he makes scary noises like like it's my experience whenever there's a wild animal they never purr or make some familiar noise it's always like yeah they do sort of this maybe like chirp like they loudly chirp and stuff like that which would probably be obnoxious. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's pretty cute. Those things like have the most disgusting piss though. Rednecks is a prank.

We'll get fox piss. Deer piss is easier to get, but if you can get fox piss and put it on somebody, it's obnoxious. Why is it terrible? You can buy it at the store. It's like you can, you can like at like hunting places, you can get all sorts of urines for various purposes.

Yeah. I didn't know fox piss was worse than deer piss and others. It is. Cat piss is bad. I was asleep once on a road trip and had fox piss poured on the collar of my shirt just a little bit. Just a little dab right there. Man, it took me a while to figure out what that was. You're like, God damn, everywhere I go smells like piss. It took me a while to figure out what that was. You're like, God damn, everywhere I go smells like piss.

It took me a while. I thought I was like, did I shit myself in my sleep? What is this? But it's noxious. You know somebody's wrong. Is it like cat pee? Like ammonia? I honestly don't remember the exact flavor,

but if I ever smelled it again, I'm sure it would trigger that memory right away. But it's just nasty shit. And you know, rednecks in high school would always bring some deer piss to school and pour it pour it out somewhere put it on somebody some shit like that that is an incredibly redneck thing to do that's what redneck that's how redneck bullies uh roll they'll like drive they'll like fuck your yard up with their truck like like do wheelies out there and then they'll pour deer pee on you they fuck your yard up and then they

pour deer piss on you yeah yeah that's that that's that loser yeah pretty much you know ruin your yard make you look like an effeminate uh man who can't take care of his own grass and then uh then you come home smelling like uh like like like cat piss your wife thinks oh this this isn't an alpha male it's like she's getting those hormones in there too she's being turned against you as well next thing you know fucking cats next thing you know your son's fucking going to some sort of trans reading night and he doesn't look at you as a man anymore either because he didn't know what one is and your whole life falls apart time is going to the garage rednecks play for turn the music up loud and find out the motor. Come sail away. Yes.

Play that as your stupid side song. Come sail away. That would be such a funny song to kill yourself to. Taylor really likes this joke. I can hear it in the car. I was just picturing someone mouthing the words

to themselves as their garage fills with DMs. They got this Hawaiian shirt on. I'd probably go, live in the last moment. Yeah, you don't want to do that. Redneck bullies are the worst, though, because they've all got vehicles. They're manlier men, rednecks.

They really are. They've lived a heartier lifestyle than city folk bullies. And they mature more quickly. They're an ornery bunch. Yeah, they're very tanned. Sunkissed. That doesn't really play into it much, though.

I'm not sure why you went there. There's no like tanned related getting into these like fantasy scenarios i got those knotted muscles all over from hauling hay that big southern strength wife got that chow right there in a lip let you know uh-huh uh would you do you ever cut off jeans real high for mobility you get down low with those a working man i make my own did you ever put in a dip kyle to fit in more with oh yeah people oh yeah like uh i remember specifically went over to in shop class. We built a go cart. No engine.

It was just like because we knew where a huge hill was. We're going to coast it down the hill. And we built this thing from scratch. Like there we had wheels and a steering wheel and we built everything else. Welded this thing together, sheet metal and shit. It was a real death trap. And we went to maybe eight of us over at this guy's house, hauling the hill and coasting it down and you know twisting the wheel so you'd slide to a stop and shit like that having a good time on it and uh then somebody brought out some

some wintergreen fucking um some grizzly grizzly you know some some wintergreen grizzly or some shit like that and i was and everybody's getting I'm like, give me some of that. And I genuinely wanted some. And it was just, I remember I could feel it scarred the inside of my lip. And I could feel the rough part there for a decade. Where it made the inside of my lip rough and a little bit like a different texture. From once? From once.

And every time I've ever dipped dipped i've done it maybe three four times in my entire life i've always gotten sick like like like oh it's like this is so much nicotine it's just an incredible amount of nicotine and this is coming from somebody who's who used to like abuse nicotine vapes to suppress hunger and fucking just pound cigarettes at times in my life like i've chain, like lit one with the next one and been like puffing through them stressed out. Nothing like a dip. A dip is like mainline nicotine.

It's like such a huge pump. And it always would make me queasy and green and I'd end up vomiting. And if you ever fuck up and swallow some of that spit, then you're just in a whole nother world of hurt. And then spit bottles are so disgusting. It's hard to pick up as a habit, honestly, because the spit bottle and the spitting is so nasty.

And I get that people don't like the smell of ashtrays and cigarettes, but I bet you'd rather have a smoker. Would you rather have a smoker living in your house? Oh, this is a good one. Smoker lives in your house. He smokes in his bathroom with the vent on and you occasionally have like a little smell of it he smokes outside a lot so you often get secondhand smoke but that's it the dipper leaves spit bottles there's always a spit bottle bit present he's

always got a little like one of these and it's a quarter of the way full of brown thick mucusy tobacco spit always and he leaves them about like there won't be 30 of them but but if you came home honestly i'm gonna have uh uh i i do i can't even i'm a cigarette man every time and the fact it took you so long like like, it is absurd. Let me tell you why. Let me give you a little story to change your mind. Let me bring you over to my side of the aisle. My uncle and my cousin always had chewed tobacco.

My father has always kind of been on my side of this thing. If you want some nicotine, get a cigarette. Jesus, those things are disgusting. They would leave bottles like this lying around, sealed up. There was a hot summer day where my dad got into his truck, and there was a Dr. Pepper bottle in there. Dr. Pepper's pretty dark, huh? Looks a lot like spit.

Spit looks a lot like Dr. Pepper, hard to tell. Well, he grabbed it. He was very thirsty, even working hard. Maybe he'd been on the tractor for an hour and a half. Parched. I don't care if that Dr. Pepper's hot. I need me a swig. He swallows it.

Glug, glug, glug. And then he's vomiting, right? He had a rule from then on. No spit bottles ever. Not at all. Anywhere. Ever. Only walk out, out swallow or spit but but but no bottles we're not keeping containers of this shit around you're you're right like i i totally

get what you're saying they're disgusting those spit containers if it was just a roommate who was smoking on my like back patio but i don't want him in my fucking bathroom lighting. But I got a visceral stomach feeling when you were describing that because I can remember so often when we'd throw parties and whatnot at my mom's house, when we'd get back from college

or at apartments or wherever I was. And especially when it was my house, I'd wake up the next morning and I'd start cleaning and there'd be a dozen of these fucking spit bottles. And I remember going was my house, I wake up the next morning and I start cleaning and there'd be like a dozen of these fucking spit bottles. And I remember like, like going to be like, like almost throwing up,

just getting close to it, not even, and just getting a whiff of like wintergreen and knowing exactly what that was. Yeah. Was it's as far as like being near someone, I would rather stand around 10,000 smokers than 10 people spitting in cups around me. Yeah.

It's just less. And smoking, my grandparents smoked in their house when we were kids. Are they smoking? My grandparents smoked cigarettes in the house when we were young kids at their house. And so I still think of cigarette smell as kind of a good smell. It reminds me of going to my grandparents as a kid. Yeah, it doesn't bother me at all. If it were in my house, it would bother me because it'd be like, hey, now you're stinking up my shit.

We never smoked in the house. I don't like that. I would smoke in the house at my cousin's house when we'd go over there because I always thought that was such a luxury. It's so white trash. But we'd be up late at night playing video games, like pounding through Halo 1's campaign, and man, we're just burning them down. Ashtray, I'm on this couch, he's on that couch.

Ashtray's on the floor, fucking laid back. We would get our snacks and everything, do a 12-hour fucking session. Those are some of my fondest video game memories. All offline, just me and him and his, do a 12 hour fucking session those are some of my fondest video game memories all offline all offline just just me and him and his uh because he had the xbox and i didn't have anything and i would go and rent us a game every uh every like friday night or whatever and we'd pound out the whole thing and i sometimes i picked a good one and sometimes i picked a real shitty fucking game but we we'd always like beat through the campaign that's how i did all the halo games um so when halo 3 came out i was so hyped like like like we had finished that

fight like a year ago it felt like entertainment started it it used to be so hit or miss where like you'd go like i remember in high school driving to blockbuster or hollywood video or whatever and getting a movie and then some like usually like you'd get at least three with the anticipation of like one of these is probably going to be terrible even if there'd be a deal like you know they'd be like five dollars each or like i don't know three for 12 or something like that it just yeah and i'll get i'll get three we'd always get three um and sometimes it'd just be a real stinker. You know, I remember so many times getting home.

But that was always fun to me. That was some of my favorite things to do was getting to go to the movie store and pick out a new movie. Because there wasn't really a limit on how many we could get. Like, sometimes we'd pile five or six up. I remember at one Blockbuster,

I was probably 16, 17, and me and a couple friends were driving there. And my mom had told me, like, oh, use one Blockbuster, I was probably 16, 17, and me and a couple of friends were driving there. And my mom had told me like, oh, use my Blockbuster account or whatever. And I hadn't been to this movie place in a long while. And I got there and we picked stuff out and I went up to the front to like check it out. And I gave the guy my mom's like number or whatever it was. And he was like, oh, I'm I apologize, but we can't rent you anything. And I was like, what? And he's like, this account you have, it looks like you have every Harry Potter. It was literally it was you have rented and kept like every like whatever, all harry potters that had come out up until like

2006 or whatever it was and uh so then i had to be like really okay well then i would guess i would like to sign up for a blockbuster account so i had to sign up for my own and uh yeah the next morning i was like i i have to return some videotapes just like i wouldn't i don't want to get put on the band list like my mom. That was the big appeal of Netflix to me, was the no late fees thing, because we were so bad at returning the videos. We would always get these stupid late

fees, and it was frustrating, because you'd be like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm not coming back. But then a cool movie would come out, and you'd be like, God damn it. I own $35 before I can get you going with like a fake mustache like hello fans you know that was a huge part of the blockbuster business model like getting people to do late fees i think they had like a time of day you had to return it

by which almost promoted you from being late like like ah like, ah, you have till five or something. So people couldn't return them after work and such. They lost a class, class action suit because their late fees were like intentional. They were, they, their business model was around it and cost them billions. Yeah. It makes sense.

But, but when Netflix came out, I was like, yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes a DVD would sit by my, I think I still have one. I think I still have one. I think I still have one.

It was whatever it was, like $15 a month, and you got two DVDs. So if you sat on those two DVDs, there were different levels. You could choose how many. So if you sat on those for a month, like you're suggesting, then rental would cost you a ton. A movie rental was like $3. But if you keep on those for a month, like you're suggesting, then rental would cost you a ton.

A movie rental was like three bucks. But if you keep it for two weeks, you've basically paid $7.50 for it. And what would happen is like one of the slots was mine and one of the slots was Jackie's. So a movie would come in. It was like an assignment. I had to watch it and get that thing turned around to maximize my money. Yeah. And she, on the other

hand would like sit on it it was like honey we paid 15 for that movie so far you know you gotta send it back or watch it like one of those but you can't just keep doing this do you find yourself like trying to coax her you're like honey notebook night right and then a quick drive to blockbuster afterward i'm not gonna drop to the mailbox yeah yeah i um i had the three disc plan in like 2011 or whatever it was and uh i that's how i watched the office the office i don't think all of it was out at the time um but sorry watch true blood you could me too yeah that's how I watch True Blood as well. It was frustrating when you get to the end of that third disc. You're like, shit, we got to get these back to the post office.

I got to turn this around. The mail takes a while. I don't know about where you are. For me, though, like you'd ask for it. It would take three days to get to you. You watch it right away. It'd take three days to get back before you could get your next one. And it's like shit you know i'm trying to watch a lot of movies and merely make the most of this account but the fact that

mail is a week on either side of the movie i think i staggered them so that i'd get a disc every day with my and i was watching the same thing so it worked out pretty good but it did mean that you're like fuck that's the last episode on this disc and sometimes half an episode would be on a disc i'm pretty sure that would happen yeah like you know like like they hadn't even gotten dvds to the point where they could hold it was like two episodes of disc or something like that they were probably just they were doing that on purpose i bet they did that on purpose they split them out more so i remember in like us more like 2002 or so 2003 like i didn't really have any vhs's of my own i had like one tape of like the nhl's best goalies on on vhs and then i had lord of the rings the fellowship of the ring on vhs and so like i remember watching fellowship of the ring

over and over and over because it was like so cool that like i had my own movie like i had my own like v8 like it was my movie and it was like after a few times it's like i should i should probably have more than one movie because i was just oscillating between that and watching mike richter make some awesome saves in 1994 yeah i uh i i was collecting dvds pretty early but then as soon as they i realized they were gonna change the format every four or five years i realized that was stupid um i don't own that many discs now because they're gonna change the format again in a couple years like i've got some 4k is that true i'm sure they will i know i know i think apple's trying to make 5k a thing and i think most of the tv and monitor builders are trying to make 8k a thing i mean how long will

it be before before they are dude i have like one physical movie and it's la confidential that you sent me like so 100 of my dvd collection is kyle provided great movie by the way very i enjoyed that one it's an amazing movie uh i i love that i haven't seen it in a while it's probably time for a rewatch you need to get to terminator 2 and uh because like like i like that you started with terminator 1 but but it is the lesser of the Terminators. I will finish it. Wait, you didn't finish Terminator 1? No, I went to bed. Alright, I'll finish it for real.

I got to the part. This is a man who watches hours of Simpsons a day. I feel like a disappointed parent. I just learned that Taylor dropped out of school and didn't tell us all this time oh dude i've where have you been staying during the day there's there's clips of me on this show like laughing along with like a joke about the titanic like haha i know a couple scenes from

i saw a good deal of that on tv yeah titanic's pretty good movie i guess i mean i never went back to it after i mean it's been 20 years since i've seen it it was a technical marvel that was the part that i enjoyed about it oh yeah they had just figured out how to render water like in cgi and it looked like water and i'm by the way i'm really particular about my water it's almost like faces to me like i always spot unrealistic looking waves or i thought it was real no no and it they built they used a um rendering farm built on these deck alcas deck alphas using linux which is this like homemade computer i had in my basement at the time and i'm like they use computers just like mine to make i need to break into the industry i remember uh perfect storm uh that had incredible siege i think

that was the first time i'd seen really good cgi water uh that's a true story uh if you haven't seen it of those fishermen who died in a storm spoiler with star wars the first you know it's a true story kinda like what we know is fisherman got stuck in a hurricane right so then there's a two hour long movie on like how it went down all these personal relationships acts of bravery none of this is verified the boat didn't come back that's what we know everything else is bullshit i'm gonna make one where aliens get them i'm gonna say it's a true story yeah Yeah, it could have been. We didn't find them.

If the revenant can be true, so can that. Revenant is true. No, it's not. Yes, it is. That guy did not crawl across Canada with bare teeth in his back or whatever the story is. He crawled further than he did in the movie. He said.

His name is Hugh Glass. You can Google it later. I promise you. He did these things. Okay. Hugh Glass. You leave Hugh alone. Is that his real name? Yeah. Hugh Glass. I named my kid Hugh Glass. Is there a Hugh Glass here?

That's like a Bart Simpson name. You leave Hugh alone, God damn damn it he was a hero i'm looking i need a huge glass yeah the um the other some of that shit was made up obviously the but mostly it was the son stuff the son of he you know the native child that he has that that like uh that was there and everything that that was horseshit i think although i'm i know he was married to an indian i don't know what you call the chief's daughter. Certainly not a princess. Like chief squaw or something like that.

Maybe a princess. I don't think so. Pocahontas is not a princess. I won't fight anyone who tries to tell me different. I went to Target the other day because I wanted to see where the gay stuff was. On one side of the media, they make it seem like they have like child sized like butt plugs or something like that.

Like butt plugs that say like ages three to five or something in there. And then the other side is like, come on, it's just a fucking rainbow hat. What are you doing? So I went and it's somewhere in the middle. They've got it all in the back though. It's all like hidden in the back corner over there. Like, like,

like, like it's like, it's the, the dirty section of the video store. Did you, did either of you have video stores that actually had a curtain with some adult shit in the back? Yes.

I never went in there. I don't believe, unless it was just, I never had that experience. I don't, somehow we got the, so my friend was the only one with a girlfriend and there were like three guys. And somehow we got the idea that it would be funny to rent a porn. So me and his girlfriend are like sent on this task, which seems like an intimate task to send your buddy with on your girlfriend.

an intimate task to send your buddy with on your girlfriend and uh at the dvd place if you guys have never seen this there's a section with the dirty movies and in this case it was just like a good sized closet with three walls of dirty movies and instead of a door it had like beads like a 1970s teenager would have in his room or something so we part the beads and we go in there and we're looking at all this sex shit being like no you think this one looks cool like what do you think like this one that's that's kind of hot and it was just like i don't know there's not much more to the story than that other than like what the fuck was he thinking and doing and like her and i are discussing sex preferences and it's not my girl. That was an awkward time.

It was an odd assignment to get from your buddy. It's like, I've got a mission for you. I need big titted milfs and she's going with you. What if, what if, what if the side of the story that we don't know Taylor is that all night him and his girlfriend had been hinting they wanted a three-way with Woody

and he hadn't noticed it a bit. And he's like, hey, Woody, why don't you and Rachel go in there and look for a video you guys would like? And Woody's like, I don't know what you're thinking, man. Guys, I was thinking maybe one of the Star Wars or Waterworld or something. I don't know about porn.

That chick was super hot, too. I don't know about porn. That chick was super hot, too. I don't know. She's like the hottest girl in the cheerleading squad. Could have been a missed opportunity. How old were you? 17. 35. All these teachers don't want me hanging around.

They don't like that I bought... I was buying the beer, of course, and we went for a dirty move, yeah. Man, that's a bad look. I think it used to be a much cooler look, but like for a 35-year-old dude to be rolling up at a high school, but I don't think that flies anymore. Dude, half the songs from the 70s are like

My Sweetheart, 14. It's like... Have you ever heard Young Love? That song? Yes. The lyrics are crazy on that it's basically about pedophilia young girl it's called is that like a 70s song yeah get out of my mind that's the one my love for you is a way out of line you're much too young girl you're much too young it goes better run girl you're much too young girl you're much too young it goes better run girl you're much too young girl you have all the charms of a woman you kept the secret of your youth you led to me

you led me to believe you're old enough to give me love now it hurts to know the truth what the fuck what artist is this? Hold on. Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. When I was a little kid, I was learning to play guitar. This is one of the songs I learned. Yeah. It's just an homage to his second grade lover. No, all those rock stars had teenagers that they were taking on tour for them.

I can't remember which one it was. It might have been Aerosmith, but he adopted his girlfriend so he could take her state to state and not get hit with a man act. She was like 16 or something. Got her parents to sign her over to him so he could take her with him from state to state. Jerry Seinfeld has a pretty sketch thing. I think he started dating his girlfriend when she was 17, which turns out to be legal.

That's like consent. He was like 30. He was my age. Maybe older. I don't know. In New Jersey and North Carolina, I'm pretty sure when you're 16, you can consent to anyone.

And when you're 14, you can consent to within four years. Yeah, but... So at 17, she could consent to 35, but it's still a little sketch. That's icky. Yeah, you don't want to see that. But the show

was funny. Don't look! Don't look, you assholes! God, ripping on Jerry Seinfeld after all he did for us with that program. I don't know what it is about all those rock stars and celebrities that they want young women.

What are they thinking? You would think that they would know that the best kind of women are in their 40s. Yeah, but why? Why are these young men continuing to go after these young girls? These attractive girls in their 20s. It doesn't make sense. And then side-eyeing the women in the room

that was a funny south park yeah that was a long time ago it's you'll think about a south park episode or something and somehow forget that that show is approaching simpson territory like yeah what are they at 27 26 that's insane uh i think casabonita maybe had uh like finally went live and opened up 40 million it cost them. They said they could have torn it down and rebuilt it for cheaper than what they did. Yeah, that's way... It's not that big of a building. Like, it's a restaurant.

$40 million. It's big for a restaurant. It's got cliff divers. Yeah, it's not like it's a basketball. Like, it's not huge. Black Bart's Cave! Black Bart's Cave! More Trevor P.S.! More Trevor P.S. please! like it's not huge blackbirds cave blackbirds cave raising the flag up and putting it yeah i'm definitely gonna go next time i'm in colorado

i hope it's not one of those deals where like you can't get in or like where there's like a fucking uh like waiting list or something for months because that's what i like we're talking about those savannah bananas earlier you can't get tickets to that they're sold out i mean that it will absolutely be a long wait i would think unless they do something where they're like oh we're just gonna make you a little restaurant all right prediction someone is going to try to get up there with those mexican cliff divers and kill themselves they are going someone is going to try to duplicate what fucking cartman did there's no way that they that this is going to be remember when rick and morty uh when they came up with the szechuan sauce and those degenerate autists were jumping on mcdonald's counters screaming for szechuan sauce this is gonna come like now imagine now imagine the south park

audience which has to be bigger like i i feel there's going to be some weird dude who just wants to do the Cartman where you make the dash through stealing food and experiencing Casa Bonita. I don't even know, though. I went out to try to experience Casa Bonita in three minutes, just like Eric Cartman. And guess what? I finished it up just like he did, in handcuffs.

That's going to be a video. It might be, but another thing I'm thinking is like, I don't know how popular South Park is. I mean, South Park is far, far from its absolute peak, far from it.

They've been going for so long. I don't think that they, among young people have the cultural sway they did for like millennials, 15 years ago. Like South Park was huge when I was in middle school, high school. Now it's just

it doesn't have that impact. Do Zoomers watch South Park? Probably not. They're watching TikToks. I don't even watch it. I don't really watch it. They're watching Euphoria with Woody. Yeah, they're watching Euphoria. Is there a new season? I haven't seen watch it. Yeah, I don't really watch it. They're watching Euphoria with Woody. Yeah, they're watching Euphoria.

Is there a new season? I haven't seen that in a while. Dude, the CP, I can't. Is that the high school drama show? Yeah, CP. It's not. I bet if you Googled Euphoria and CP, the result number would be like 8 billion results. Well, it's on Netflix, isn't it?

No, it's HBO. No, it's on Netflix, isn't it? No, it's HBO. It's all about little teenage children fucking each other. They're high school kids, I guess. But the actors are all in their 20s. Yeah. It's like a drama with high school.

I don't want to watch high school drama. It's a little more. It's Saved by the Bell, but it's woke and naked. People getting fights with the police and shit like that saved by the bell is one that i never watched not an episode yeah never watched it by the bell i didn't know the bell like i'm their age right i'm roughly the age of the people in saved by the bell so the clothing that they wear is where like the peak of fashion to me. The idea of a button-down

shirt with maybe a shirt like this under it, some dockers and some boat shoes, that's what good looks like. I haven't changed my mind since 1992. Who was the weird guy? Jackie, I found a winning combo at the beginning of the Clinton administration, and I'm not moving on.

Who was the weird guy on that show? Screech or something like that? He went on to make pornography and then died. Right? Yes and yes. I think so. Did the crazy guy from News Radio die? Andy Dick?

No. He's in a trailer with Only Use Me Blade now. They did a little... They were literally in the trailer together a while me blade now they did a little uh he they were literally in the trailer together a while but yeah yeah yeah um i'm sure we could get you know belligerent andy dick all all like grotesque and and clinging to existence to come hang out with us for for from a park or dare to any alleyway he may be in dude every i watched a video online just one of those youtube little doc you mentories that like someone does and it's like oh yeah uh andy dick like the story of him and it was like 40

minutes of like everyone that guy's ever met has a bad story about him like an act like a nightmare story of of him behaving iraq he's like a racist he's like his His fight with recurring fight with John Lovitz. Is that his name? John Lovitz. Yeah, that's great. Where like John Lovitz just fucking hates him because Andy Dick apparently contributed or like gave cocaine to

Chris Farley. Either Chris Farley or the guy from The Simpsons who was murdered by his wife. how feel hard yeah that there's something to do with that i'm probably getting the details wrong but dude that's a sad part like watching these early simpsons is all the troy mcclure and uh uh lionel uh whatever his name is not lionel hutchinson isn't it i soundel Hutz. Sounds great to me. Lionel Hutz. Okay.

Oh, okay. You may... Have you been squeezing oranges the old-fashioned way? Yeah! He, like, twists an orange in his eye. Here's your bitter way. And Homer's doing it on his own. Homer's literally juicing oranges with his eye socket. Doctor, you got all that juice from one bag of oranges he's like yes

doctor or yes that line up yeah it's it's that's very good r.i.p him he was such a good character on that show so fucking funny yeah his dirty horrible don't worry mr simpson i watched matlock in a bar last night the sound wasn't on but I got the gist of it and he's like does that sound like a man who had had all he could eat yes we weren't fishing that's a top ten episode to me when Homer gets kicked out of the all you can eat

fish joint and then like everybody's got good lines the captain has some fucking knee slappers in that episode he's not a man he's a he's a crab eating monster or some shit like that it's a bottomless hole that can't be filled like homer's grabbing the steamer plates from the from the buffet getting drug out uh that that to me is one of the best ones there's an episode where homer's gonna kill himself grabbing the steamer plates from the buffet, getting drug out. That, to me, is one of the best ones.

There's an episode where Homer's going to kill himself. I rank that one highly just because it's fucking real. It's like Homer's a failure as a man, and he's going to kill himself because that was who his character was at that time. He'd lost his job, couldn't support the family, had financial needs left and right that he couldn't fulfill. He's all right. I'm going to drown myself.

So he ties the rock to his foot and then starts walking to the bridge. And it's miles. He's literally dragging a rock. You know, it's just classic Homer that it was a huge deal. And anyone younger than us won't understand when no one knew who had shot Mr. Burns. It was an act. There were adults in offices around water coolers. I don't know, man.

It's got to be Bart. I'm too young for that. Really? That episode, when it came out. Of course you know it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wasn't, like, in the culture talking about it. There were pools.

There were games. There were betting odds, you know, in Vegas. I didn't know that. And I won't spoil it for anyone who – no. Maggie was, like – I don't remember what the odds were, but 75 to 1 plus. Like, something pretty crazy for it to be Maggie. Oh, I remember them.

I think there was a Fox special where they did a thing with Unsolved Mysteries. And they broke down the episode where Burns is pointing to West and South. And they're like oh that's whalen smithers yeah it's gotta be it's gotta be smithers and like no it wasn't me i love them yeah but it's no no from his point of view maggie simpson dun dun dun it's great great wonderful episode i like tomacco homer gets fired and he becomes a fucking farmer and maybe to get fired maybe he was hiding from the duel. I don't remember.

For whatever reason, he gets a tobacco farm. Little tomato, little tobacco, and a little uranium because he stole from the fucking factory. And he grows that tobacco that's disgusting but addictive. It's great. Love that one. Yeah, I should rewatch it. Is it on HBO?

It is on Disney Plus every season. I don't remember my password. God damn it. I got the thing that Disney and Hulu are on the same package now. I've scrolled through Disney Plus' offerings 15 times and I don't think I've

clicked on anything but The Simpsons. If you don't like Star Wars... Hulu still has ads. I have regular Hulu with no ads. or i guess i pay for no ads it's pot every now and then there'll be like a built-in ad that you can fast forward through but it's like part of the programming and it's it's like it's an ad for further programming which i don't mind um there's a way that you can don't call me hacker man. You can press a certain key like code

sequence of buttons on your Roku and remove all ads and go into dev mode and get rid of all the goddamn ads. But I didn't do it because I like the ads. They tell me what's new and upcoming. I click on that shit a lot. I see very few ads.

I hardly ever see ads but i'm not immune to stuff like that you pay an influencer to tell me that they like something where's my wallet my dumb asses but i have youtube i pay for youtube but i clicked a i clicked a reddit youtube link the other day and when it took me to youtube it played me a fucking ad on my phone and i'm signed into my youtube premium on my phone and it really made me mad yeah it seems like you weren't signed in i it was a repeat i repeated it over and over i don't it's i don't understand what's going on. I know recently they just nuked a bunch of the ad blockers. Now it's hard to get rid of your YouTube ads again. I think I heard that.

Again, I pay for it. I watch YouTube on my television. The idea of sitting through an ad is insane to me. Premium YouTube is great. Like you, I use it on my TV a lot. I use it on my computer. I use it on my phone. No ads anywhere you can like listen

to shit and not have that app open like if you're into podcasts or something that's cool um and then there's another thing they just increase the video quality for premium like there's there's a better 4k if you buy premium if that matters at all uh there's the music which i never use i pay for spotify and i'm just like in that ecosystem with all my favorites and playlists but yeah youtube if i had to get down to one subscription it might be youtube yeah i'm with you i i my my hours watched uh is definitely so far to the youtube thing and i would just buy every stuff through amazon i guess or something or whatever however i could whatever my tv has a like app that purchases everything even if i don't have a you know any individual streaming app i don't even have premium yet for

youtube you know i well like even like youtube shorts i'll sit on the couch and just you know go through shorts on my on my tv or and i watch i'm telling you i watch a lot of this i watch so much police uh video stuff that i recognized a neighborhood i was like wait where are they it's griffin georgia i know where they are i'm like they're next to the hot dog place. I'm going to get a hot dog after this. Yeah. I watch a ton of that shit. I found there's been a couple of them that are like places I know because

Atlanta's, I guess it is a little ghetto is that that one girl said before they drug her away in handcuffs. She was just dogging Atlanta the whole video while she, and meanwhile she's getting kicked out of a holiday in for not paying her or shit. Like yeah, Atlanta's so ghetto.

When she started cursing though, that was the last straw. I love when the last straw comes and they go, quote unquote, hands on. Oh, when you fast forward through one of those and you can see the, you know, the most viewed section. Yeah. I go to about 20 seconds before the big spike, and it's always right before the cop has had enough. Sometimes it's good to see how

we got here like let the person annoy you as much as the cop is annoyed so you don't mind when he sprays her but uh but yeah i watch a lot of those they're it's great drama the and some of these people are so stupid dude it will be a situation where it's hey man warning don't do that again could i see your license and drive? All right, get out of here. That's what we were going to do. But instead, multiple felonies. There was one where a white lady has hit her husband with her vehicle,

and he has pressed charges. Against his wife. Yeah. They're divorcing. That's not a healthy relationship no and she's she has she has bumped his person with her car enough that he has filed charges i don't he's not crippled or anything but he's hurt he's filed charges cops cops follow her into her driveway she goes does not stop into her garage and the cop follows her into the garage. She pulls the garage door down.

She's got kids in the back seat and she's being real nasty right away. Excuse you! Excuse you! Do not touch me! Do not touch me! I was waiting for that. She's like wedging her left foot all crazy up against her open door

so she can't be pulled out. And finally, they just he gets one cuff on you help me understand that she was shutting the garage door how did the policeman get in oh he came on in he came on like one of them came in before it could no one came in before it could select once he's in talking to her she hits the button closing him in his partner comes in through a side door that's there that's like a regular house door, and he gains access to the garage as well, and they drag her ass out of that vehicle.

She is going crazy, screaming and being nasty, and she's like baring her teeth like an animal in this real scary way. She's got a boy haircut shorter than mine, shorter than any of ours. And at one point but she's handcuffed behind her back and the officer has his hand like on her shoulder blade like like real high he's like just get back in the car get in the car get your hands off of me she snapped

she tries to bite him and he is so quick i was impressed like like like he was like and she hurt you could hear snap when she bit he was like oh that's what are you doing are you trying to fight me now she's just losing her shit foaming at the mouth they get to the end and they read the charges she's like the initial charges that brought officers there were dropped however and it's like dui driving with an open container three account three uh three assault and batteries attempted biting um threatening a public official assault simple assault um endangering the welfare of a child, putting two counts, like one after another. And it's just, and then I'm like,

damn, that was rough. And then the screen fades. Then further charges were, damn, they rolled eight charges up on her and all she had to do was go, oh, I thought the lawyer had this squashed. Dang it. All right, take me in.

Let's see if we can be quick about this. I want to get home to these kids. Hey, could we get, could you not handcuff me in front of my children maybe that's all it would have taken but instead she's getting getting drug out screaming fucking bloody murder and she was in a fairly nice neighborhood so it was fun to get her like perp walked out in front of her neighbors and shit damn but i like a real loon i i saw a guy uh earlier some of the people are just crazed and you can tell like there was no saving them like you were gonna die tonight one way

or another you were just crazy this one guy damn this one guy just went crazy and started running from the cops and tried to run across the interstate and got hit by a car and he's just a blurry they blurred out his body but the blur was so big you could tell that he took up a lot of

more space than a normal person would take up he just got splattered they blurred out his body but the blur was so big you could tell that he took up a lot a lot more space than a normal person would take up he just got splattered and i don't know how many people i've seen them um like fail to tase tasers don't fucking work unless we're maybe six feet away it seems like or they don't know how to use them yeah that's crazy i feel like you're watching less censored stuff i always see tasers work like if they're trying to show like a taser working you know what i mean but but if you just watch wild police videos right where they get those things if the guy's sitting right in front of you it shoots two lasers and the further away from the target the lasers you can see how far away they get if you see neck

there's a cop there's a guy running the guy running's black and he might be on something and he's sprinting like towards a hill the cop hits him with the taser and he goes straight like this and starts like wiggling like a fish as he flies through the air have you seen this video yeah yeah you see that and people like me get to thinking that's what tasers do people like me get to thinking that's what tasers do if they sometimes penetrate your skin that is what they do um but if one of them goes in it just hurts a little and uh if if they both have to penetrate your skin and get into you to direct that current into you or they just kind of annoy you and they really escalate things right because if you shoot a taser at me and it fails oh my god i better make use of this this brief interim before someone else gets a taser out or

he reloads or some shit now it's go time people jump in cars try to flee and start fighting and shit uh what i don't understand is how many people can't just follow simple instructions i've seen so many videos where cops are assholes and they're the bad guys, planting evidence and basically murdering people. But then I see a lot of videos where, dude, nobody's bullying you. Nobody's after you. You ran three red lights,

hit a car and kept going. I just need your information, sir. We're not even trying to make it fleeing the scene. I just need your insurance for sir. We're not even trying to make it fleeing the scene. I just need your insurance for them. That wouldn't work. That wouldn't work for this lady. She wouldn't fight. It might be a lie anyway, but yeah.

It was the truth. It was all there was. They had to fight to the death. Now we're getting drug across concrete. I would hate to have to get face down on the concrete. I don't think've ever had no i've never had to do that i don't think i've ever gotten get you down for the cops at all i always just sort of surrendered but yeah yeah but um if they tell me to i will you have yeah i'm trying to think like uh concrete had your face smushed like in a jiu-jitsu thing no No, no, no, no. They just ask you to lay down before they put the cuffs on.

They didn't force me to lay down. Oh, I thought you... I was thinking you were talking about fighting on concrete. My mistake. That'd be a terrible place to fight. I thought he was talking about the position. I was talking about whenever I've been arrested or taken into custody or whatever.

I think when I got arrested when I was like 20 or whatever 21 um they handcuffed me behind my back and threw me in a police car but um whenever i got like locked up at the post office with my with my drugs i don't think they handcuffed me i think they were just yeah not for not initially not for a while i was just hiding in the corner you said that like he wanted you to sign and then he was like gotcha yeah um he was kind of in the back of the post office chilling um and uh yeah so he he was able to watch me like take the package and walk out the door and so he was behind me but as soon as i got outside there was like a bunch in front of me like there was maybe three or four or five but then i had a whole panic attack so i blacked out for a little bit of that and uh when i came through we were just kind of chilling and with a detective's car because it was like three fucking branches of goddamn law

enforcement represented had to get that half ounce off the street yeah we're about to let you escape yeah and like that was one of those times where the guy was like you want a cigarette i was like you're goddamn right i do and we sat and and he was he was he was one of those people who smokes in their cars so we chilled his expedition and puffed away in there while i asked probing questions about just how bad this was all gonna be i was like i was like you know not me but some other guy who had done some stuff and had and y'all found a bag of things that had bad stuff in them not me but him what would y'all do to him and and he was like oh it probably won't be no big

deal at all and he meant it you're not some online gun slinger. I know this guy. We knew each other well enough that we would recognize each other at the gas station or whatever. I know his name and he knew mine, this detective. Real nice guy. Felt bad about the whole thing. I think he felt bad about it, but he didn't feel bad enough to give me an illegal warning.

So we don't get to be friends anymore. See, that's what I would have done for him if they were setting up a whole sting for Taylor. I'd be like, Taylor, you should probably never go to the post office again. Ever. They know about the barrels of Iowa.

Taylor, they know about the monkeys if you had like obviously you could go to the post obviously there was a um you had to receive a package or something like how did yeah yeah it was being sent to a po box but but like they they had it and it they had taken it out of there and they had it so i had to come and ask for it. And so that was the situation. But I guess probably nothing would have happened if I just never gone to the post office.

Yeah, they couldn't because you can't control that someone sent you something. Right. Wasn't that like a that's a that was a public P.O. box. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I probably fixed everything. That was a couple years ago. When did you get out of prison? Like 2020?

I don't know. 2019? I remember just the lead up to that. Do you remember which UFC fight you missed that you cared about? Cormier lost to Stipe. Damn, that is time uh it i don't know it was cormier losing to steepay um that's quick thing that's some dr watson stuff woody i like that july 7th 2018 is that possible no. It's later than that, I think. I was in the fall.

Wasn't I in there during August or September or something? Got out right before October. August 17th. I think it might have been this. That would have been it. Fight number two. August 17th, 2019.

Didn't get to see that fight and it even got spoiled for me on the inside because we did have the one TV that's for sports! That TV's for sports! Alright, man. Now you know. Next time you pop in, you know it's for TV. Intensity level in here.

Yeah, that was the one I missed for sure. The lead up to that was super stressful sorry about that i did my part no that was there was um man i remember the night before i was stressed too kyle you know my friend was about to go to prison a little little empathy please if i could have a tough time if i could have called you while I was in to comfort you, I would have, but no outside calls. You know how it is. I was going to send you condoms and a care package, all sorts of things.

That would have been so goddamn upsetting. That would have ruined my day if you didn't come. I never would have done that. That would have ruined my fucking day. Condoms, that's for your protection in a file. Chiz sent me a bunch of books. I don't even remember how many books

Chiz sent me. I was utilizing the library a ton, but he sent me a bunch of great books. And then Kitty sent me books that I was requesting while I was in there. Because I didn't realize that I would want so many books before I got in there, And that, that was just one of the easier ways to kill time.

But yeah, the night before I had to check into prison, I was so fucking scared and stressed. I just couldn't sleep and couldn't eat. And I was trying to get enough sleep because check in, it was, was like 10 a.m. You got to be there or 11 a.m.

or something like that. But obviously you don't want to be late. And it's in Alabama. It's like a three-hour drive to fucking prison and uh i was just laying in the back of that car trying to sleep on the way to prison i got a little bit of sleep but not really like toss rock and roll in that van i remember thinking hope we get in a car accident really i hope we get in a car accident i get hurt and uh and i don't have to go to prison today uh we stopped at zaxby's i wanted that to be my last meal before i went in something real indulgent and i got like chicken fingers and fries

and uh uh and then we had to go check into that place and that was i went to like the wrong door at first like like i didn't know how to check into prison you know that was i went to like the wrong door at first like like i didn't know how to check into prison you know that sucks so you're like embarrassed going to jail like i'm i don't know the right procedures it wasn't that bad because like the guy ended up running into who was at the wrong door ended up being like the principal for or something like that he what there's like a captain who's like the of the guards, but then there's another administrator guy who handles everybody's paperwork and he's really the boss.

That guy was super chill. That whole thing was surreal that first day because I was sleep-deprived and out of it. Going through that x-ray machine they've got that shows your whole ins insides i was like oh great no cavity search i'm so glad i got sent to a prison with a scanner because i'm sure there's plenty that don't nobody had to finger my butthole and uh you missed out good i did and then like but then every now and then someone would say something that was a little distressing

like they didn't mean it to be but it was like i want they should be like first time yeah yeah don't even worry about it this is like camp everybody's gonna everybody's friendly you you like football they bet football here hey don't get over your head though you'll get a noogie that's what they should have said instead this black ass play yeah the black lady was like just don't let nobody press you and i was like what the fuck does that mean that's what i'm thinking in my head i'm thinking that but i just keep smiling yeah don't worry about me because i don't want like like a bitch out here but i'm sad i was like what do you mean don't let nobody press me what are you doing to me i just got here give me my mattress give me my mattress he's gonna be the toughest guy in the whole prison, you don't want to get in fights.

That's a problem. I want to go home. I remember going to a place... Was it like laser tag where they walk you into a room and sit you down and play a tape? I wish. No, you're like all alone. It feels like being in the principal's office. You're like in the... Everything smells like bleach and it's white concrete everywhere and block floors and everything and just one lonely corridor after another sitting and waiting in a chair because you're on their

time and nobody's in a fucking hurry to fingerprint you or process you it's just like nobody cares and and why would you care you ain't got nowhere to go either so everybody just sits there staring at the floor zoning out and then getting assigned my first uniform and the the dude's like what size i'm like i don't know what size prison jumpsuit i wear but i tried to make a joke about it like i don't know man i've never worn a prison jumpsuit before what do you think what do you think large extra large double what do you and he he was like and like fucked me over and gave me like a quadruple xl or some shit i guess for talking up and like wasting his fucking time so now i had clothes that didn't fit

like at all and uh and i i never wore those because what a jerk he's the prison jumpsuit guy his job should be looking at someone and being like large. He was prison jumpsuit guy that day. You know what I mean? He's the guy who has to check off. Like he's keeping track of how many fucking things get checked out and like who's responsible for fucking jumpsuit 35B. Because if I lose it, now I got to pay for it or some shit.

I got sweats as soon as possible. And then I was just in sweatpants and sweatshirt for the rest of my goddamn stay. To be honest, if I had a prison jumpsuit, I think I'd want to keep it as a souvenir. Oh, you can't keep that shit. They wouldn't let you. That's all. And I wasn't going to try to get caught stealing anything. Can you imagine?

What's in that bag? do you mean sir it's my take home yeah under in books what you got lucky lucky let's get back on back in here come on i'd be running i never should have stolen this jumpsuit over a goddamn prison jumpsuit all it is is like work pants it was like green work pants and thick like everything's like thick i don't know that that like something a welder would wear yeah like rough scratchy horse shit just like the toilet paper it's gotta be robust because it's gotta it's gotta fit the next it's a good thing i didn't shit for like six weeks or something crazy because that toilet paper was terrible that you started with six weeks that's the most bizarre thing about that that is the most bizarre thing because i've never

been constipated in my life and i don't remember how long i was constipated whatever i said when i came out when my memory was more fresh but i remember being weeks i remember being like a couple of weeks that i had not taken a shit at least and being like man i don't shit soon i gotta go tell somebody and that's gonna be embarrassing but i knew i was gonna have to at some point like i would press on my stomach down there and be like everything okay like i'm feeling for like a huge like maybe my intestines have ruptured and i'm filling up with doo-doo or something down there that's why I'm not shitting. I'm feeling for a mass at this point.

It's been that long because I'm eating something. Your body was working at 100% efficiency. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's a Kim Jong-un reference. I'm glad we got to talk Sam Hyde. I have another topic I want to talk about before we go.

Have you guys heard of the zion williamson drama i don't know what that is okay zion williamson is a basketball player he was a really highly touted prospect and when he plays he shows why everyone you know expected him to be such a superstar but he's injured so often he's missed expectations cool so last season he played 29 games the season before i think he played zero what's he been doing well he just announced that he's going to be a father that he and his girlfriend are having a baby this is where it gets cool though so apparently this girl is not the only one z Williamson has been banging. He's also been hitting this porn star named Mariah Mills. Mariah Mills, when he announced the baby coming.

Is everything okay? I'm signaling Zach to show me Mariah Mills. Ah, yes. Anyway, Mariah Mills, she starts going on Twitter. This is her first tweet today. I warned you about trapping type hoes, Zion, and you didn't listen to me. I know the game. Fuck you and congrats again.

The bill was too high, so you had to scrap for scrums when you couldn't see me or when I was busy. Next tweet. You put my life in danger fucking all these hoes raw. Next tweet. This is his porn star side chick. I let you fuck me so many times without a condom, and this is what you want to do? A hood rat that does... I don't know what CPN is.

CPN? Yeah. Three letters. It's an acronym, I guess. I don't know. I was with you last week in New Orleans and you couldn't tell me you had a random thought pregnant after all I've done for you

better not pray I'm not pregnant because I'm definitely late what city is she from? I don't know I just thought for a second like my mind really was reeling I like acronyms CPN could be college park ninjas,

but it's not ninjas. It's the other word that Sam Hyde likes. I think he might be saying that like, like he's, I think the N word is the third part. And she's like, she's like, what she means is like,

you're fucking around with people from this trashy part of town. That's my read, but I'm just guessing. I don't know what fucking CPN is. You could be right. Her face on the right here.'s something that was the black tv network some uncanny valley editing on the right face i don't right yeah i'm gonna have to do some further research uh later on and dude this isn't even a famous porn star i mean my man's on like

page 92. Famous porn stars won't fuck you, though. You gotta find one who... Famous porn stars are rich, right? So why would they bother? You gotta find one who would rather suck your dick than the guy they pay her to fuck, maybe. That lady looks ridiculous.

Who does that guy play for? I'm sorry. I know you told me. The New Orleans Pelicans. I don't think. Oh, a classy team. I've never even heard of that team. They're called the Pelicans. I know, right? I was really psyched about the team they put together, but with the injuries and such

it didn't turn out that cool. New Orleans? Pelicans? Or could it be the fucking hurricanes would that be insensitive carolina already oh the new orleans hurricanes i yeah but look i've seen carolina hurricanes and i've seen new orleans hurricanes and the new orleans ones are way bigger and better he's right i mean but i think north carolina might be the third hurricane state like florida's one to me right there who's the second hurricane state georgia doesn't get shit it's south carolina for sure maybe alabama oh alabama no no you have to

look at the coastline north carolina sticks out like like america has a boob and it is north carolina so as the hurricanes go up the coast, they hit us a lot. South Carolina is safe and tucked in almost. The hurricanes have to intentionally fuck you in particular. Yeah, I remember when we got these refugees from Hurricane Andrew, wherever that was. I think it might have been in Dominican Republic

or Costa Rica. I don't know. We got these brown people that came and started going to our school, though. Had funny names and stuff. We got these brown people that started going to our school though. Had funny names and stuff. And you saved them from the harsh one.

The Silvas. Roberto Silva. That was his name. And his little brother. Shout out, Roberto. Hope you're doing well. Florida, Texas, and Louisiana. One, two, three. They wouldn't let us watch movies anymore because it was insensitive for fucking Roberto.

They wouldn't let us watch movies anymore because it's insensitive for fucking roberto is there any worse way to make a kid popular at school it's like all right roberto's new but no more movies he doesn't speak like like now we don't get to watch it and you fucking fucking hate roberto and he has an ice cream allergy. He hates field day, so no more of that. He's not Christian, so everybody's coming in for Easter. Oh, they were Catholic. Yeah, they were Catholic. I didn't mix either. His house had flooded.

He'd almost drowned, so we would pour water on him all the time and just freak him out and stuff. So you're drowning, you're drowning. Scare him and stuff. Country bullies or something. You're drowning. Hold him down. Do awful things. Scare him and stuff. Country bullies or something. You're drowning, you're drowning. Hold him down, just do awful. None of that's true. None of that's true.

I mean, he existed, though. He's a real person. And he did ruin movie day, though. We didn't do shit to him, though, because, you know, what are we going to do? Son of a bitch movie day. He was a big guy, you know, and they have knives. Jesus Christ. I mean, he was second grade, but he was intimidating.

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