Painkiller Already - PKA 654 W/ Brandon Herrera: Woody Lied For Years, The Best New Dating App, Getting A Face Tattoo

Episode Date: July 1, 2023

pka 654 guest brandon herrera taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lock and load freeze pipe and of course brand new sponsor sponsor pharaoh distro.com pharaoh distribution pharaoh distro.com we'll hear more about them later some excellent excellent products for enjoying your evening brandon thank you so much for joining us during your evening we have like ejaculate enhancement and drugs. Do you want to come while really high? Because that's what we do. Sounds like a winning Friday night to me.

All I ever want to do. I love your background, Brandon. It's so intense that it's like my gut is like, that's a green screen, but I know it's not. Yeah, you know what? The green screen works really well. There's no clipping at all. It's really kind of nice.

You can grab stuff right off the back. You don't have a Dragunov back there, do you? Yes, right up there, SVD. The Papa Shaw, is that a Falado? The PPFA? Yeah, it's currently got a MP40 magazine magwell in it because I put it in for a video and I couldn't figure out how to get it out. It is stuck. So it's just it lives there now.

So, Brandon, I'm a little mixed. Which is your left? Raise your right hand for me, would you? Right hand. OK, right side. Third one down. That is a VSS Ventures or Ventures. Oh, so the super, super quiet Tarkov boy, the 9x39.

I was just going to say I used it in Tarkov. I didn't recognize it. What is the absolute worst gun behind you? The one that like if you had to get in a conflict, you're like, fuck, not this one. I'd rather have a knife. Yeah. Jesus. Well, probably the RPG because it's demilled.

So that's not absurdly useful. That's an impact RPG. You have to hit him. Yeah, it's more of a bludgeon. You know, it's a big steel tube, so you'll still get some shit done. What is the short one near that white plaque sort of diagonally? The short one.

So there's a white plaque. Yep. And then diagonal. Nope. Just to the corner of it. Or the other way. That's the fun one. And then diagonal. Nope. Just to the corner of it. The other way. So the 1887. Model 1887.

It's like these video games are based on real guns. It's crazy, right? They made the Terminator 2 gun in real life. Speaking of the RPG, that just made me think. A friend of mine, like 10, 11 years ago was in afghanistan he was a marine and he had some some very intense stories and he was telling us one time when he when he has some drinks he'll he'll talk about it a bit and one of the most traumatic things he said

he saw was he was on patrol like 20 30 yards in between everyone as they're walking through and he said that they started getting shot at and they saw like rpgs coming in and he was like there's no way to predict rpgs like you just don't really fucking know where it's gonna go and he said at the time like they'd had an issue with like rpgs being shot at them and not exploding like they weren't blowing up the insurgents whoever was shooting good problem to have good problem to have the guy he told me the guy three people in front of him so like 90 yards in front of him a rpg came in and it hit him uh it didn't explode but it hit him in the quad and it like tore into his basically destroyed his entire like quadricep just ripping it apart just

mechanically and he like when he told me that he's like dude like like you can confirm this like this was a story like in the military i was there for this did he survive uh the guy did survive if i recall yeah the best part of the story though is it didn't pass through his quad. It stuck. It stuck. It's halfway in, halfway out of his leg. One of my best friends was on that patrol. Yeah, he was there. And those things would come with all kinds of different warheads,

but it doesn't matter what kind of warhead it is when it's in your thigh. If it goes up, you know. You panic so much. Yeah. And, like, it doesn't even have to explode. Like, once it's ripped your thigh out, do you know how much important shit is in your thigh?

So much. So much blood going through there. It's almost surprising. I don't keep anything important in my thighs. Your pockets are. That's true. My phone's near my thighs. Did it hit my phone? Did it hit my phone?

I can't look. If it was your calf, it would have bounced off. Right? Someone else would have got caught with a shackle. Brandon knows the lore. I had a dummy RPG like that laying on the floor. I was in jail that night

when I first got arrested. It was like 3 or 4 in the morning. They come wake me up and you've got to go through a whole thing to get out of your jail cell and into a room with normal people. There's shackles and shit. Door gates moving. i finally get out there and the feds are there and they're like hey um the uh the rpg warhead in the floor um to deal with that i was like it's not real it's rubber he said okay turn around and left and that was it it was the most brief

comp because i they were just like looking into my room. It was the room where I used to record, that blue room. It just lay on the floor in there. But they were just trusted you. It's amazing how many people That was true, I assume. Of course, I didn't have a live warhead. That'd be wildly out of character.

It would be wildly out of character. I mean, that was my goal, was to make my own. That's why I wanted a Type 10 and FEL and all the bits the bits and bobs but no that's a chunk of rubber that i bought at knob creek yeah it's amazing how much those people like even in the atf whatnot don't know about like the launchers and explosive side of things or especially like the average person so a buddy of mine was filming a music video and he wanted me to help him out and uh they basically had their own bit of like a nightclub cordoned off for, for filming his video.

And he's like, could you bring your 84? I just, you know, 84, once you fire, it's a tube, you know,

it's, it's not going to, you're not going to take it out. It's like an American RPG. Yes. Yeah. It's kind of, it's,

it's, it's a good bit bigger, a bigger tube, but you know, you, you probably seen it in call of duty and a bunch of other stuff, but I just bring the tube there and it's very obviously an empty tube, but the people who owned the bar or the club or whatever, um, we, we asked for their permission,

like, Hey, we're going to be bringing this in everything's safe, you know, blah, blah, blah. And they were like, yeah, uh, that's cool. Just don't fire it. And I'm like, excuse me, you thought this was a, Oh no, no, no, no. This is a tube ma'am but they were they were just gonna send it they were like oh yeah just just yeah that's fine just you know keep it on safety yeah they were way cooler than you thought they'd be they're like all right you know promise us now he got us with the goddamn fingers crossed claws. He fired it right into the woods. Yeah. What is a,

I see all the time and I get such a kick out of you engaging in, in gun debates and everything online, correcting misinformation with all that. What is, cause you're so close to it. What is the, the gun take that gets your goat more than anything else that when you see you're like these fucking non anti-gun people? There's a couple.

There's a lot of misinformation out there. But the the big one is it seems and it's some of the easiest stuff to correct, too. It seems like a lot of the people that are spouting anti-gun stuff on the Internet say, like, there's no reason for a civilian to be able to go into a gun store and buy a fully automatic weapon. I'm like, well, that's crazy. Cause you can't, that's not a lot. Like do you have an accidental ally? What's up?

Accidental ally. Yeah. Subreddit. It's like the, the hoops you got to jump through and like Kyle knows like the, the shit you have to do to have access to this is insane. If you don't have your FFL, it's still a lot of paperwork, and it's very expensive, prohibitively expensive, like a year's salary for most people. I'm glad you're here because I wanted to ask you about this.

This is the coolest. I don't look at guns really that much anymore, but the coolest gun thing I've seen in a long time was a friend of the show. much anymore but the coolest gun thing i've seen in a long time was a friend of the show he bought a mac and then he bought a conversion kit so you can put an ar upper on his full auto transferable mac yeah and now he's got a fucking real machine gun for like max used to be forty five hundred dollars when i was looking at him they're a lot more now i think he paid ten or something but still it's like a ten thousand dollar machine gun like a real one a fun one and it looks like shit they look they look so fucking awkward but that's the cool part because that's the workaround because you know the lower of it on i guess on i'm assuming on the mac 10s whatever the lowers are considered the firearm or the machine gun so the upper that you put on it's

fucking irrelevant it's just like changing the barrel or the muzzle brake it's not the regulated part so you just put on whatever i think i I know who you're talking about, the company that sells those. They're kind of neat. I mean, I get the premise. You want to be able to shoot 5.56 with AR mags? Like, here you go. Yeah. Taylor asked the most frustrating aspect of gun debate.

Mine is this. When someone says, why do you need that? Right? Like, if it's a gun thing, then suddenly I have to justify it. No one ever asks me why I need eight motorcycles. They never asked me why I need hockey equipment, or I don't even know how many sticks I have. No one asked me why I need anything else in my life, but suddenly for guns, even though it's a right to have it, they need me to like describe a scenario where it will come in useful. No, I don't play that game at all. Why do I need it?

I don't, or I'll say zombie apocalypse i like that one too yeah i know it's kind of a bumper sticker thing but it's like they don't call it the bill of needs like i don't need to justify like why the hell i've got it and plus i already kind of have it so what's your plan for making sure i don't anymore yeah it's gonna be tough look at your background there's there's there's a lot of ways to shut this this shit's my net worth man like i don't know what you want from me oh wait there's an rpg on there is that rubber that's what we that's what brought up the army story so that's it that one's not rubber but it's like a chinese uh dummy it's got all the explosives scraped out everything like that. Another thing I think is funny

with the gun thing I'll see sometimes is people being like, why do you even want an AR-15? Don't you know the government will just murder you where you stand with a drone? It's like, no. How many times

has that been gone through when people understand like insurgencies and like like fighting an armed populace like yeah remember how we we dominated afghanistan so hard oh wait like yeah it's like eric's walwell the senators on every corner like you can't control stuff with with with just drones and shit just murdering people like you know drone operators have families. So, you know, it's, you know. Yeah, a lot of people don't want to harm their fellow citizens and wouldn't do that, I would hope.

It's just like Eric Swalwell, like the senator, I believe, or congressman who was saying, like, you know, you've never beat the U.S. government. Like, we have nukes. I'm like, the fact that a representative of the U.S. government has just threatened to nuke its own people are kind of why we want guns. It's kind of a good idea.

They like they nuke Montana to show they're serious. We win. It's a mushroom cloud in the fallout rain. Fuck, it's blowing this way. Which way? You put it in the middle of the country. Now we know the direction of all the winds because of those Canadian fires. Those irresponsible Canucks

up there, they're not watering their plants. They're not cleaning up all the sticks the way botanist Trump recommended. They don't have the stick-sweeping teams that he said would take care of this. We need Trump and his Sharpie to redefine where the smoke

is, if he could help us out. There's way too much fire to i don't want to step over it but there's too much fire like it's just like saying something everyone agrees with yeah that that was hilarious one of one of his best ideas was was sweeping forest floors to prevent forest fires and then i actually got owned a little bit because i i read like some forest fire guy who's like the way he said it was stupid, but he's kind of right. And I'm like, really? Damn, that sounds so dumb. Yeah. The reason we have these crazy monumental forest fires.

Well, one of the contributing factors is that we we have this complete fire prevention. So there are never fires until there are. So the undergrowth builds up all those dead leaves and pine cones and shit, layer after layer of layer of fuel, and then one does spark off, whether it's lightning or a psycho who just starts a fire. People have done that. A lot of those bigger wildfires.

I know there was one recently. Everyone went to town. Look what global warming did. Turned out it was a guy. It was a crazy guy. He started a fucking fire. It usually is, or lightning or something like that but yeah trump trump's right sometimes that's true not right sometimes like a little bit of me

was like what's this idea worth exploring you know when he asked hey you know uh what if we put a disinfectant in the blood to kill COVID? I'm like, all right. He's just asking the question. Is it a good idea? Is this something? What if we use UV light? That demonstrates an ignorance about the science that none of us have. We all go, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey there, Tyke. Disinfectant in the blood. I think you might baby out with the bathwater in that scenario, right? How about you incinerate the whole... Maybe if we bring the blood to, say, a thousand degrees, would that kill COVID? Yes, Mr. President, that would kill all the COVID in the blood.

Okay, then this one. He wanted to buy Greenland, right? He's like, how much does it cost to buy Greenland? And I'm like, you know, spitballing here, how much does it cost to buy Greenland? Is that a good purchase?'m i'm down for some real estate investing i'm down to ask some questions at least it's not like greenland's on fucking zillow so you know hey let's let's at least get some quotes exactly

now i think he threw some sort of temper tantrum and didn't go to like the g7 when they told him it wasn't for sale then at that point i don't like i don't you know you don't tell america something's not for sale what What he should have said. Instead of buying Greenland, he should have offered to sell Puerto Rico. That's the fucking move. Oh, like a trade? A trade, yeah. We already have plenty of tropical places to go.

We already have Hawaii. And so as far as solidifying good vacation spots, Greenland's better. I'm sure Greenland cash flow is better than Puerto Rico, too. This is actually the art of the deal. It's a fantastic deal, ask anyone. Except for the Prime Minister of Greenland. What do you do with the people of Greenland,

then? Do they just become citizens? They go to Puerto Rico. No, they become whatever Puerto Ricans are. They're residents or whatever. Yeah. You don't just get citizenship. They don't get our rights and stuff. The Puerto Ricans are. They're residents or whatever. Yeah. They don't get our rights and stuff. The Puerto Ricans do. We're going to make a new class of people for those Greenlandians. What should we call them?

It's kind of like Guam. Greenies. Get your greenie ass back in the line. Why didn't Trump reach out to us? We have great ideas. He should. Soon we're going to have a bunch of greenies. I'm going to be yelling at some guy from Greenland mowing my yard.

Greeny kids. Straight lines, Sven. I don't do well in this heat. This is awful. It's like, yeah, and you're fucking red as shit. Wear something. Keep your greasy, greeny hands off our women. Keep your greasy, greeny hands off.

They're all six, seven jacked. Yeah, and we're like bullying them. They all look like the mountain in Alexander Skarsgård, and we're like, God, these fucking greenies making us look like bitches. I hate this, Snoop. Imagine how much that would suck. There's a new group of immigrants from Greenland. There's millions of them.

They're all 6'5". You fuck up the ratio. I would be fucking... That would get me in the streets protesting. You know what the opposite of that is? Shut this down. No more. Here's the opposite of that. And we could make this happen

on our little continent. In Poland, they have a real problem right now because there are just so many hundreds of thousands of beautiful Ukrainian women who have moved to their country for some reason. What a terrible problem. We need a war in Mexico. Oh?

You want to send Latino women up here? Drive the Mexican women to us to us yeah they need encouragement and then you can build the wall just go you were big you were big on the wall weren't you yes i was the same size i always am i think i i thought the wall was a good idea when he said it i still kind of do um it just seems like i always get embarrassed when I see them shimmying through it. Or they're like,

cut it with a sawzall, and it's like, that's like mild steel. What are you doing? It's a bad idea because of those reasons. The problem with security sometimes is you have to spend a trillion and they can defeat it with like, I don't know, $19.95?

Certainly $150 beats that wall. You can get a Salzall or like a Milwaukee angle grinder you know, with cordless. I see your point, but the goal isn't to stop one amigo, right? It's to stop this like open flow of people like

caravans and vehicles and stuff. All those bad home brands. we'd be happy to have the bad own prices drop in one at a time local law enforcement border control has been going crazy the last couple years handling that but i think you know just a barrier of some kind would be nice but one of my favorite opening my mind a bit like i see you're coming from the the larger package make it more expensive for drug traffickers if they've got to build a fucking $2 billion tunnel now out of Juarez or something. I'm still wondering if there's something out there

that's more cost effective. Motion sensors on towers with people. I think they were doing that. They do have that. Is that what we should be doing? Because a wall to me is a little bit of a marketing thing at this point. I want robots. This is where we should send those dog bots with the flamethrowers.

Dog bots with flamethrowers? Tell me more. Zach, show them the dog bot with the flamethrower. You're going to love this shit. This is what you're going to be scared of. When the cops take control and they're taking guns from homes, they'll be walking down the street with a bunch of these dogs. They'll go in and they'll be like the seeker destroyers after the spider bots go in and look around. Dude, that's how I look at it. Miller was right. Separating moms from babies was a half measure. They'll go in and they'd be like the seeker destroyers after the spider bots go in and look around and do that.

Miller was right. Separating moms from babies was a half measure that was never going to work. We needed to drone strike them. Is that what he said? Yes. You're going to step too far. That was the video we did with I did a thing where we were mounting. That's that's a Photoshop.

That dog could not handle a fucking machine. We put machine guns on the back of the dog, an mp5 and like a kp9 whatever and uh yeah the the recoil is a little too much in full auto but a flamethrower now flamethrower doesn't have recoil well small ones still it's that out of the box yeah there's a little electric spot in government where were these dogs that you messed with brandon were they pretty impressive or were you kind of like oh these are actually kind of shit they were so bad uh it was it was yeah we they there was a constant uh struggle to get them to not immediately like do a backflip and kill themselves they just parkour to death it's like fuck another 200 somehow managed to shoot itself even though it clearly can't for example uh feast your eyes on the muzzle climb

right now he is like 30 degrees over the berm like this yeah that's gonna be a problem if uh the only thing i've ever seen and i'm sure there's tons of cool stuff now but like back in the day when i went to jerry baber's place the guy that has the a12s he had these um little miniature tanks they were like like rope like they had rubberized treads and they could sort of you the guy that has the AA-12s, he had these little miniature tanks. They had rubberized treads, and they could rotate 360 degrees and stuff. And we were just out there with remote controls, and he had an AA-12 on that thing upside down. So you could just slap the mag straight down into it.

And something was weird with the controls, so we didn't bother filming it because every time we would shoot, it would just go full auto and dump the whole mag and then it made it look so janky but he was like this is the future boy this is what i'll be killing him next year in the next 20 years that and my drones and he had these drones that that had machine guns on him he had uh he had ar pistols like two or maybe four on a drone. He had all sorts of silly shit. He's kind of like Tesla. He was seeing stuff before it was happening. That guy can't be still alive. Nikola Tesla?

No, he's dead. No, Jerry Baber. The thing that's crazy about the drone stuff, too, is that we were going to do a couple of videos. We were going to do one with the Ukrainian drones, because I've got a friend who's got his FVL and everything, so he's got hand grenades and whatever. But were going to do the ukrainian drone drop and we were going to do one where they've got flamethrowers on a drone i thought for sure

that's easier legally speaking no no as it turns out anytime you put anything on a drone as far as like weapons flamethrowers or anything like that the faa gets really mad yeah yeah it's like a 25 000 fine did you ever you ever see Richard Ryan's video that he did like a decade ago? No, but I've heard you talk about it. He took it down, I think. We were at the time we had this. I don't I don't know who was paying us, but some like movie video game company that we both got contracts. And him doing his drone video was endangering my contract.

I was in a field being like, why? Why did he do that? He made a drone that drops an explosive that use, I don't think it was LIDAR. It pings the ground as it falls so that it air bursts above the target. Like way more sophisticated than what we're doing. They're doing in Ukraine. This is like 10, 12 years ago or something sounds like it was a drone on it was a drone dropped improvised explosive using i think plastic explosive and it air detonates at like 6 or 12 feet or something

whatever he wants it to he could program it it was it was crazy he took it down i think and that that got you in trouble or almost did did? They were like, oh, we don't know about paying YouTubers to make videos now. And it's like... And you're like, oh, please! Please! Meanwhile, I'm in a field with a bunch of mannequins dressed up as colonial soldiers or something

and an old-timey cannon. Did I shave my head for nothing? Did I shave my head for nothing? You should have shaved your head instead of the bald cap. They had a number from me in which I would have shaved my head and they did not meet it. They got the bald cap number. Yeah. Yeah.

When I would pitch things, you know, there'd be tears, right? This gets you that. This gets you that. This gets you all of that. And like the final number was, I'll just go ahead and shave. I think I was gonna get the tattoo. I think I said, I'll shave the head, get the tattoo for this amount of money. And the hair covers it up.

No, it doesn't. Does he have a tattoo on his head? Yeah. Well, not on his head, on the back of his neck. Agent 47 or whatever from the hitman. Oh, I remember that. My only exposure to those games was your video. I've never.

Literally me too. They hired me and I'd never played one before. I had to go play a bunch of fucking video games you couldn't have just done like a fucking henna tattoo and say yeah no i'm gonna keep this here that's what we did bring her back out yeah we did we hired um a guy that worked on the walking dead at the time walking dead was big at the time and uh and he did oh it is on the back of the head well maybe it moves around in the throughout the series i thought it was in the back of his neck when i googled it somewhere on wrists and shit i don't know if that's all game i think that was called the holocaust woody oh touche one of the worst parts about going bald would be not knowing if you have a good head under it

until it happens like what if you've got like one of those gorbachev wine birthmarks that you never knew about and it's like the hair come out blonde from one of those stains no am i wrong i don't know i i remember his all i said no because gorbachev was bald but then i realized how stupid that is yeah i don't actually know if the hair comes out blonde from those but if it is then that's a good way to know if you have one but that that would be the worst part about going bald it's like oh no i have a lumpy head with a bunch of like fucking bumps on it and a birthmark i got is it a cool scar i don't know i haven't seen this as i was ever it happened when i was four like split my whole head open. Not skull or anything, but the skin.

I took a nosedive out of a shopping cart. You know those things they hook stuff on at Walmart or any store? That rode my fucking head from front to back as I headbutted the wall. I tipped the whole shopping cart into it. It was a real mess. I also took the side of the shopping cart that sort of serrated edge and it went between my gums and my lips and separated that all the way up to my nose i mean tough day at walmart just yeah it was rough i was four under the anesthesia i had the most vivid weird dream and i still remember it i was in a dark as a four-year-old completely black space like infinite and a black man in a birdcage an old-timey birdcage

suspended from nothingness you know like tweety would be in with a flat bottom and the domes top and he was in there and uh sitting on a chair he had a white beard um kind of like morgan freeman esque and uh and he said i was gonna be okay so you'd probably seen a Morgan Freeman movie recently. I was four years old. Subconsciously. I had not seen any black... Song of the South, maybe? I'm pretty sure. Or Driving Miss Daisy would be more likely, right?

That would have really hit the... I may have seen Driving Miss Daisy and been comforted by Morgan Freeman. Or God spoke to me, a person I don't believe in. It's one or the other. I'll say it's God. And God took the form of the

Miss Daisy character to to make you comfortable. No, it wasn't Miss Daisy. It was it was driving. Morgan Freeman. I think that was his breakout hit. And he was like 58. Like he got started so late in his career.

He did. He made a career as an older guy. But then again, would you want a young Morgan Freeman? Part of him is his age is what's so good about him. Like that old, wizened. Yeah, seasoned. He looks old as shit. He is old as shit.

He seems wise in all his parts and you don't see him in anything anymore probably i've been worried that if we had the young morgan freeman the old one wouldn't be as good for example we have old harrison ford and it's not like he's improved or anything instead he just is a really fucking shit tier Han Solo. Yeah. Right. Who can barely walk or even run about on uneven services. I'll, I'll counter that though. We also have Clint Eastwood who was basically perpetually, you know,

50 his entire career. Uh, but I mean like the outlaw Josie Wales, isn't any, you know, it doesn't take away from grand Torino in my mind, you know, for somehow like outlaw Josie Wales.

No, I love outlaw Josie. Well, it's awesome. You know, that's, yeah, Wales? No, I love Outlaw Josie Wales. Fantastic. It is a good counterpoint because Clint Eastwood is also just a shitty Clint Eastwood. A senile, not senile,

but an elderly Clint Eastwood that doesn't move as well, but he somehow makes that work for him. He doesn't try to be an action star. In Gran Torino, for example, he plays a has-been tough guy. And he nailed it. I think he's still getting pussy in his movies, though.

I think he did one called Macho, where he's wearing the cowboy hat again. Cry Macho? Cry Macho, thank you, yeah. I'm pretty sure he was late in that one, right? I haven't seen it. Maybe twice? Yeah, I haven't seen it either.

It's just something I read about it. I don't like seeing him old. Yeah, that's like when Brooklyn used to do his movies now, I'm just kind of like, dude. Because he had his send-off movie like three times now. What was his really good cowboy movie? Unforgiven? Unforgiven is the one

that he held onto that property. He owned it for like a decade. He's like, I'm not old enough to be that guy yet. When he had that look at like 45, 50 or whatever he put up he made the greatest western he ever playing broken down action star x action star harrison ford is just playing bad can't pull this off anymore action star he's still doing he just did an indiana jones movie that's gonna flop too oh i'm sure he nailed it it's so stupid because the whole point of indiana jones

is he's this this character from another time from the 1940s serials you know what serials were they were um you would go to the movie theater and there'd be a tv show 20 30 minute what we would consider a tv show and you'd watch this 30 10 20 30 minute episode and it would end with a literal cliffhanger it's where the term cliffhanger comes from. Where the hero would be hanging from his parachute or whatever. Come back next week. And you'll find out if the hero makes it. And it would end.

And they would show it all week. And then next Friday night, boom. Episode 2 is out. And they kept going. Serially. And that's what they were doing with Indiana Jones. Oh, here he is in an Indian kooky temple. Here he is another time fighting the Nazis.

Here he is again fighting the Nazis. Wait, he's doing the same thing. They made the same movie twice, but I can't watch the alien one, and I can't watch this new one because of what you said. He's so goddamn old, dude. Get out of that role. Get out of that role. Play it differently.

You know, like like be broken down indiana jones who can't do what he used to do but has to be clever or something that's what um mclean eastwood completely relies on the toughness of his gun when he confront there's a scene in gran turismo where i think there's two sort of thuggy type guys giving that one girl and her pansy boyfriend a hard time. Do you guys know this scene? I know it word for word. Yeah, I bet. I would not bet against you.

Well, anyway, in that scene, he pulls out his fake gun and he's like, ever know someone you didn't want to fuck with? But he never claims he's going to beat these two tough guys at arm wrestling or in hand-to-hand combat. He just says i'm armed yeah he's got a cheat code exactly yeah the ultimate cheat but your ugly ass up the block harrison ford on the other hand is trying to out horseback ride people on 1923 and it looks like shit has as he has harrison ford ever been a good actor I don't know of him from anything

other than Star Wars and um yeah yeah he has so yeah um the fugitive is great those um the ones um the whatever under fire those those that are based on the adventure um books the Grisham novels or whatever those are fun he did a couple of those younger him was a fun actor i like him in the original star wars he's the best part of those movies to me is harrison ford being yahoo and riding around and having a good time he's the only guy you can identify because every else everybody else is this idealist or this wide-eyed dummy or a superhero or magic or a god man yeah or a god man or some shit um And then there's Harrison Ford just skating by by lies and

back shooting and whatever he's got to do because he's surrounded by robots and God men. And he just happens to have a ship. He stole it fast. That's his whole thing. Yeah, but he's got charisma. He does have that. You know what? Riz gets you pretty far

in life. Oh, don't say that. I mean, he was the coolest guy in the movie. You know what? Riz gets you pretty far in life. Oh, don't say that. I mean, he was the coolest guy in that movie. Wait, what did I say that was wrong? Did you say Riz? Is it that short for charisma? No. Yeah, it is. I just hate hearing it.

That's all. I'm sorry. Is that what that means? Riz? Yeah, it's just charisma. I think it's usually used with flirting. Did you ever wish you could unlearn something? Yeah.

You could go back to not knowing. So many things. Honestly, if you could delete memories, I think that would be big business. If you could delete memories, I would just tell my torsion testicle story again, and you'd be stuck. I can feel that when you

tell that story. I feel like my ball strings are constricting and pulling my testes up into me for safety. Then it worked. Every once in a while, I'll feel just a little testicle discomfort. I'm like, I'll be like,

what did he say? You'll know in like 20 minutes. I'm like, okay, well, we'll keep an eye on it. Yeah, we we actually have the technology to to, you know, erase memories. But big therapy has actually prevented us from doing that. They're getting in the way. They're lobbying against it, of course. Yeah. Is that true? I buy it. That's a complete lie. that's a complete lie imagine if you could get rid of memories that would be a that actually is so horrible and dystopian that

would be the worst society ever people would just delete everything that made them it would be a society with no shame you guys are all in this good place of trying to remove like trauma and pain and I'm like huh who do I know that needs to forget shit I did? You want to offensively have a memory deleting gun.

You're going to reshape history. There's a movie about this. It's called Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. Jim Carrey and the fat chick from Titanic, Kate Winslet. I knew her name. I just like calling her that. And he's her. She is his name. I just like calling her that. And he's her, she is his ex-girlfriend.

Terrible breakup and he's erasing her from his mind. And that is being displayed in kind of a trippy way as the memories one by one are deleted. And I think I would do that. I think I would delete things like maybe like bad breakups or traumatic moments, but maybe just like information that I

wish I didn't know. That's, that's like annoying or concerning. It's like nothing you can do about it. Kind of shit. Um, and, and movies and media, man,

I'd love to go back and watch some things for the first time and be surprised by like the end of, um, um, I see dead people. Dude. But like, think about it.

Really fun to do that. Is there, is there something like, is there anything more depressing than imagining opting to delete a portion of your own memory so you can spend more of your life consuming the same media? I understand what you're saying. Like, oh, it'd be neat to see King of the Hill for the first time again. But when you really think about it, that's the saddest thing I can imagine.

Is like relegating your entire existence to the need to re absorb media because all experiences are are seen to be negative you know that's almost like like one of those like scary dystopian things that's funny because i'm like i like it i can imagine taylor everyone probably every show taylor tells a joke that gets me laughing out loud in stitches i want to just hit my little fucking undo button like the that was easy button. Say it again. I'm back. I'm back.

I can just call it four jokes. Imagine that you could go back and things that made you feel really good or entertain you tremendously, like watching the first Bill Burr special, like the funniest one for the first time ever, or being able to go back and learn about, I could be like hey, Taylor, and you're like

ow, what was that? Hey, you ever hear of a guy named Patrice O'Neil? No, who's that? Come here a minute, let me show you something you know ONA, right? What? What'd you say? Just knock out? I said, do you know ONA? No, I don't know anything about that we like spend the day, and I pretend like I knew about it all the time,

and you're just dumb. You just missed it the last 30, 40 years. It's like, damn, I have no memories of huge portions of time I spent in the past 15 years. It's almost like everything that develops my sense of humor is deleted. I'm still doing this offensively. I have it revolutionizing the dating world, right? Ooh, I don't like where this is going.

How do you feel about guns? Bill Cosby! Bill Cosby! I have enough guns that I don't know how many guns I have. And she's like nexting me. Redo. I hate guns too. I hate guns. They are the fucking worst. Don't get me even started on guns. And she's like, well, I don't hate them that much.

I'm like, fuck. I give guns a 6 out of 10. Is that right? Alright, cool. Step 2. Eventually you can Groundhog Day this thing without traveling through time. He tried to learn everything he could about that woman until he picked her up.

You could do that. I would have raped her after month two. Month two? And you're just... I'm a gentleman. Yeah, you guys are all acting like he's a monster. I admire his restraint.

60 dates? You know how many breakfasts you bought for Andy at that point? That's her real name. 60! 60! One! Look, my resources may be unlimited unlimited but my patience is not kyle does it before the cow does it before he realizes time's repeating he's

oh lucky me he wakes up the next morning thank god do it again dude what i would actually do day one is like, you know how fun it is in Skyrim to sneak around and steal things in stealth mode? Yeah. Like, just seeing how much you could rob the town blind the second that you start seeing stuff like that. Like, I bet I can get this whole block, all their jewelry today. And then you fail, you get arrested. But the next day you get to restart.

You become a better and better thief. And then when you finally get out of it now you're now you've put 10 000 hours into something useful instead of trying to woo some fucking bitch that who cares how much money have you made for your 10 000 hours of time like like it's free time because it's it's just it's repeating over and over the point is you're spending have you ever seen blow where he went in with a bachelor's in marijuana and came out with a PhD in cocaine? That's what you're doing. You're going into it with no ability to steal.

You're coming out of it fucking cat burglar. It's a good movie. Is that Penelope Cruz in that? I don't know who that is. I don't care for her. I'll be attracted. Then me either. Waspy.

Waspy? Yeah, she looks like the hottest maid at the hotel. You don't hear Waspy much anymore what was arnold doing man i always whenever like what was he doing how'd that happen what do you mean how'd that happen he was mr fucking universe he was the governor of california he's the goddamn terminator worth 50 100 200 million dollars i don't know no it's over that because of that twins money he got he owned the rights that and then he fucked that enormous like spanish maid who like who i wouldn't fucking you wouldn't fuck like you know how hard up you'd have to be to fuck her it was just convenient she was there and he saw it and he couldn't control himself if he just jerked off his whole fucking

life would have been different he'd have still been married to that kennedy dude have you ever seen his his kid with the kennedy versus his kid with the the maid like physically which one's better the kid with the maid is like jacked and and like has like the arnold body and then his other maria shriver doesn't work out as hard i don't yeah and she was skinny when i saw her she used to be on tv i don't know what she looks like now must be i don't even know who that is maria schreiber that's arnold schwarzenegger's wife oh okay was xy that's the kennedy that kyle's talking about i think he was just uh just on a shitload of gear so his testosterone was just through the fucking roof so he's just gonna fuck anything that moved that makes sense he might have been on trend there you go the fucking butler's lucky he didn't get it

makes sense. He might have been on trend. The fucking butler's lucky he didn't get it. What Arnold Schwarzenegger needs to get his dick dirty and you're his butler. His dick dirty? I'm looking to get my

I'm looking to get my Eastern European dirty cock dirty. I'm trying to hide it from the predator. It needs to be covered in mud. Suck the mud off of my dirty dick. Oh, that's what that room. I just shut up. I'm the governor.

That's who I would like to see replace Chris Hansen is Arnold Schwarzenegger for to catch a predator it'd be perfect he'd be smoking his stogie he'd come out with that thing wearing that red polo from from the predator movie and he just he'd use his lines as much as possible even when it didn't really fit but you'd still laugh along as he you know got the pedophiles who's uh who's that fat guy who uh accosted eat dat pussy 45 445 get that guy on the show the guy who was like so it appears here fat ass that you were talking to children online tubbo like like you seen this like fat insults oh my god that was that was great he's roasting him he's roasting him that's the same guy that showed up oh you're like the same guy yeah that's the guy that showed up was that frank hassle no no this is a different guy this is red beard mcmurphy or whatever the fuck um we called him like rascal mcgovern's i think

i think we gave him like a fake persona because we didn't know his real name i think maybe it came out later that he was a bit of a pos like some domestic stuff i don't give a shit about that as long as not kids involved you know what i mean yeah like don't get me wrong you shouldn't be like you know stocking like showing up at somebody's fucking house over their politics or whatever at the same time it was really funny to see how that was just blown up like i was accosted and feared for my life like you shook hands with the guy and then it's a real friendly conversation side yeah yeah it's like and you didn't what what was his excuse was there a did edp say there's a bakery near here or did the other guy go what are you here for cookies is there a bakery nearby like cupcakes i think yeah cupcakes something like that when he starts talking about the doo-doo pictures, that like that blew my fucking mind

because often if you, what they usually don't show on these To Catch a Predator shows is what happens before the guy gets there is you've got an adult in a room on a phone or a PC talking nasty as fuck. Go have a seat right over here on this piece of newspaper.

But they convinced him to send pictures of his poop. And he was, oh, yeah, 12-year-old girls love that, I guess. So let me just take pictures of his poop. And now they got the pictures of the man's poop. And they're like, is this your poop? And it's so ridiculous. And A-plus to

them for having the idea, because I would, as a sane relatively sane individual never would have thought anybody would go for that I wouldn't think so either but I guess he was very desperate what why yeah seemingly

seemingly desperate is that guy I think he got in trouble again didn't he I think maybe he got into he was double dipping back into the back into the same the same into the same the same sins the same pedophilia the same shallow waters oh is that the that almost looks

too kiss me please too fucking perfect to even be real that's too memeable it's got like this guy looks like Derek Derek what's his name the black beast from Texas UFC fighter Lewis Derek Lewis yeah he looks a little bit like Derek. Derek, what's his name? The Black Beast from Texas, UFC fighter. Lewis.

Derek Lewis. Yeah, he looks a little bit like Daryl Lewis there. Looks like AI generated somehow. Oh, you know what he looks like? Taylor. Stare at him, but then imagine a Ninja Turtle. If he had that band around his eyes. Holy shit, it's Donatello.

Donatello, leave the kids alone yeah i love that thumbnail he just pulled up i'll do it again dude you two thumbnails are fucking hilarious it's just like someone's like new story on johnny depp and amber heard and it's like a picture of her like eating shit rubbing it on her face and it's like new info and it's like no there was no new info i'm absurdly jealous of kyle for getting into gun tube before everything needed to be a fucking clickbait thumbnail like every modern youtube there was fire what's up i made sure there was fire in the thumbnail i feel like it was important i didn't like i didn't like clickbait i guess

like i wasn't above it necessarily i'm sure i've've done it. I'm sure I have. Oh, I remember my favorite clickbait thing I did. Right after Osama Bin Laden was killed, I shot a poster of him. And I called the video Osama Bin Laden assassinated or something like that, or taken out by

blah, blah, blah. And then I was able to ride the CNN wave, like the catch-on to their ship and lasso some of their views over. It was just me in a field somewhere shooting pictures of Osama bin Laden. That's the clicky-batey-est thing I ever did, for sure.

If all the millions of views that gets, if 10% of the people who watch it are like, this guy's kind of cool. Let me check out some of his stuff. Yeah, he converts to people. Yeah. Those were back in the golden days where a picture of you holding this guy's kind of cool. Let me check up. Yeah. He converts to people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean that those were back in the golden days were like a picture of you holding two,

a 12 is like 20, 25 million views, 50 million views. Does YouTube make it unbelievably hard on gun channels now? It's give and take. It got really weird back in January of this year. I thought I was going to potentially lose my job because they cracked down where they said that showing attachment of a suppressor would be a strike. And inserting a 30-round magazine is a strike because that is illegal weapons modification.

And they said that there is no grandfathering. So that worked on all previous content. So three strikes and your channel's gone i'm like uh guys you could delete my channel like 37 times over with that rule so we were fighting youtube on that and thankfully we won but i mean it's not too bad like full auto gets you demonetized the extended magazines gets you demonetized a bunch of gets you demonetized but it's all in all it's not it's not as bad as people think it is but it's not great you should tag it cgi but that's cgi why is but it's not great you should tag it cgi that's cgi what why are you hating on me do you do this to corridor digital what is your problem

these are all props do you think i do you think i've got guns yeah cgi shooting that's what it cool guns international i don't like that meme. I like the picture. That one's not funny. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't know if that means... The one I like that gets memed is me on the Bofors gun. It's like three frames.

That one's always funnier to me. That's a good meme. And look at you on the meme. I saw Joe Rogan watching watching you recently did you see that clip kyle did it get in front of you they thought yeah yeah again yeah somebody i love that uh somebody sent me that um he had the guy that i think the director of john wick i think he has a lot to do with the training and gunfu like he's into that stuff and uh i think that he said that i think he had made a game that had a

dragon's breath shotgun in it and uh rugman was like well that's a real thing and it's like yeah there's this crazy russian guy that's got some on the internet not just that everything he shoots little little little needles and all and they're like pull up my video of me with that stupid red and blue shotgun that i spray painted on my deck that night because I knew people would click it. With your very Eastern European haircut. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. For those of you younger than 35,

that's a Livewire emblem there. Livewire was a place where you download illegal music and it would always corrupt your family's PC. That's actually good you pointed it out. I bet a lot of people didn't realize that was LimeWire.

Indeed. Indeed. It's been a long time since I've seen that logo, but that's where I was on LimeWire all the time when I was a kid just downloading every... I was like, they just turned... You gotta imagine, it would be like if all of a sudden I mean mean everything's piratable now but that was new to me it was they're like hey kyle all that music is free

now what do you mean it's free a cd is 20 and this is 20 like 1997 money yeah so it was crazy that music was free i was i was grabbing it with both hands for no reason well i might listen to that someday like i'm storing it like soon they'll make it illegal. Yeah, and they did, but not that soon. A lot of viruses. LimeWire was such a downgrade from Napster. Napster was awesome. Is that what they... I didn't know that was before.

Is Napster before everybody's time? I never used Napster. I remember Napster, but LimeWire, I think, had replaced it. I thought that was the order of things. Napster was easily better, but more sueable because they maintained a database of all the places you could download. There was a central authority to get this right.

LimeWire was distributed, so there was no one organization you could sue. Everyone who participated was part of the problem. Napster got sued, and people had to move. Yeah. They scared the heck out of me. You know, like I didn't know if I was at real risk.

They like at random, seemingly, they would go after some young guy and and run him through the legal system to kind of put a scare into people. And there'd be a big news story about it. It scared me. I was like, I don't need to hear Travis Tritt that bad. big news story about it i it scared me i was like i don't need to hear travis tritt that bad yeah i remember the first time i started like using limewire it was so easy that it's like this this is i i this is wrong like i'm gonna get in trouble for this because there's no way i can just get the newest fuck and and you're right i bet i listened to five percent of the songs that i stole off of limewire because it'd be like the entire beethoven collection whatever like all of it it's the same

with like the pirate bay and all that like when i my friend first you know introduced me to that and you tore it and everything back when i guess the type pirate bay is not around anymore whatever but like you just like the entire discography of metallica okay sure all right yeah do you remember mega upload how great mega upload was if you wanted like a low quality 720p movie which was 720 was fine at the time and it was like i remember using mega upload and being like i can't even imagine a media a piece of media that's not here right now like mega upload had everything every song every movie every tv show wasn't in the best quality and then when they finally got rid of it uh that fat guy from new zealand owned it right that uh something like that and then he got in trouble had to move away oh a piece of technology that is a piece of technology that is from another

age at this point is the cd burner i saw someone on social media asking what the fuck does that even mean you burned a cd because that's what that was the whole point of limewire i wasn't going to sit at my pc i was burning cds because i had a new car i newly had a car because i was a fucking 16 year old and i wanted cds i wanted a whole fucking like thing of them above my uh uh like sun visor like all the cool kids dude i had the same thing again all the cool kids had that big cd case and it was like damn i got and look at me i don't even pay for my cds they're all silver with just something written on it all this shit's stolen there's there's one there's one paid for copy of no

strings attached by nsync and that's it i remember i remember getting i remember getting that album i was like in middle school when n-sync was huge and like everyone was like dude these are the coolest guys ever it was there was almost a schism i remember some people liked the backstreet boys and other people liked NSYNC and I just flowed wherever the popular was because I was insecure. I don't think I was part of a group that liked either of those things. In my day?

A little bit younger. Before you guys or before anyone listening probably but it was Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice was the coolest fucking thing ever and people would leave the school just blasting Vanilla Ice on their overpriced stereo systems in their car like that.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And you'd be like, fuck, that guy's got style. It was one song and a movie. Overnight, he became the most uncool person ever. He just went from the bomb to the dud.

And it's like, oh no, she didn't get the memo. She's still playing it on her car radio. You can't. Nobody wanted to be cool as ice anymore. No. He only had the one song as far as I know, and it would be on every mixtape. I definitely had that song.

Who were the cool artists when you were in high school? I remember Lil Wayne was the cool guy to listen to. He was very popular at the time. I was hung out with the Reds and Reject or whatever. All the emo music, like fucking Green Day. And we'd listen to Metallica and Megadeth and all that stuff. Yeah, I remember Green Day being popular. No, no ignition came out when i was in high school it's so remixed to ignition hot and fresh out the kitchen mama ruling that body and every everywhere that's all your that guy peed on little girls that's what he's rapping about i heard an arc

i was i was jail for it right now. Convictedly. I love saying allegedly about convicted criminals. I looked up Vanilla Ice's top songs because Kyle said there was one, and I was like, what was that other one? His top song is Ice Ice Baby. His second most popular song, Somehow, Ice Ice Baby. His third most popular song, ice baby radio edit then after that

cubs play that funky music oh so i i gotta lean with kyle he had one song basically yeah yeah but it made so much money that it made his whole career he had like a mr t effect where he was such a character that yeah that's vanilla ice yeah get him in here i wonder if he could have managed his career better he had the look too with the hair and he shaved one of his eyebrows which was like a dance super cool but not something i was ready to replicate yeah i only know of him as a joke like my my whole ideation of him as a person is like vanilla ice that goober from like the 80s or something like jamie fox has a thing about this i think i have the actor right he's the multi-talented guy who can sing and act and all

that okay yeah so he's like you know old people like me think of michael jordan as an absolute basketball star other people though see him as the crying jordan meme like that's all they've really been exposed to by him and i like there's a vanilla ice type thing like i remember when vanilla ice was the coolest person on the planet but you just know him as a meme you know who got hated on from second one like in middle and high school for me was nickelback there was never a time that nickelback slipped through the crap maybe it was very briefly that they were okay and then they were just even even amongst middle and high school kids, like, they suck.

They're terrible. What perspective do we have? Nothing. I can't even name a Nickelback song, but I probably like one. I don't know why they get so much hate. I bet you could trick me. You could play one, and I'd be like, that's catchy. To me, there was a time there

in the early 2000s and maybe around but just before 2010 where all of those rock music sounds just like everyone did this everyone did that it was all fucking breaking benjamin and creed and and all that stuff and they say that uh come on get that not not all sound they all sounded exactly the same. And I think they were one of them. I don't know why Nickelback got singled out as, as awful when so many of the other popular musicians were literal criminal criminals. I don't want to miss out on the R. Kelly thing.

I was listening to art. I like his music. It's tremendous. But I was playing Diablo yesterday. I wanted something in the background as I mindlessly found every statue of Lilith. Christ. Every one of them. Don't guess how how many hours think about it while i finish this story and um i'm listening to r kelly like random shit i've never heard the fucking b-side shit he's like i'm gonna flirt yeah yeah and i'm oh yeah i like this is kind cute. If your girl come around, I'm gonna flirt. Yeah, yeah.

I don't care. I'm gonna flirt. He just keeps going on about how I don't care what you say. I'm gonna be after your girl. I'm gonna be flirting with her all the fucking time because I'm R. Kelly. I got this and I got that and you don't. She better be loyal. She better be.

I'm like, R. Kelly's threatening to cuck me. I gotta turn this off. I was getting upset. Kyle is marked safe from being cucked by R. Kelly. I was like, this song is going back to Marty Robbins.

I like to listen to Marty Robbins like the old country western songs as I ride my demon horse through the I don't know the mystery realm of diablo you come up with a number how long it took to find all the statues of lila i'm gonna guess nine hours nine hours is right on the fucking money it took me nine fucking hours that sucks that is brutal i i had kyle and i've been playing a lot of Diablo 4 recently and I played so much last weekend that like I think I woke up and like Saturday was an off day for working out and I played Diablo from when I

woke up until I went to bed and then I woke up Sunday and skipped my workout and played Diablo all day to the point that like then when I got off at night at like 1 40 in the morning Sunday evening I immediately went from like hyper focused on the aspects I was working on to make my character better to immediately standing up and being like what are you doing what are you doing the whole weekend's gone two days it felt like five hours it felt like five hours of time and I would like time. And I'd be playing with Kyle and Scum, and I'd look over and I'd be like, all right, 6.15 in the evening. I should order dinner soon because I'm not going to cook.

Look back over, 11.25. Nothing's open. It's like, I don't need to eat anyway. I'm leveling. And last night, I was like, I think I have to take a bit of time off diablo or i'm gonna burn myself out and i knew that was the case when i had an enormously long and vivid dream about like most of a whole dungeon where i was excited at how well my corpse explosion combos were going off

and then when i woke up like in my dream and i woke up from that and was like that was it wasn't the dreams that are just brief it was my whole night like i was dreaming about that game and it's like if i play this anymore i'm gonna burn myself out and be bored of it i need a few days of of chilling so i don't do you guys do that with like rpgs like if it's super fun you can have too much fun overdo it and then be like fuck this yeah we play too much yeah i'm back and on for a bit i don't want to ruin this game for myself i do that shows cody's currently like cody donut is currently doing that with diablo um i'm behind the curve a little bit so i haven't gotten into diablo yet but i've just now gotten into witcher 3 for the first time somehow

oh nice never played that one having a really good time that'll last forever it never runs out of side quests and fucking herbs and potions to find i'm finding that out and it's a little frustrating it's like every time you need to go get an item it's like oh uh before i can give you that item here's three quests you need to go on and it just infinitely branches out i'm like dude i don't even fucking remember why i'm here yeah you like if you like witch like Witcher, Diablo is a better version of Witcher. It has a richer, better story, I think. But alongside that, you're coexisting in this online world

with a bunch of other people who are all doing different things. But you'll notice every now and then, hey, you're here to do the same thing I'm here to do, huh? They're going to the same statue or whatever. And I don't know how many people are in that realm, that world, but you'll randomly come upon some guy getting his ass kicked by some monsters and jump off your horse and fucking slay the shit out of him. And just like right off into the sunset as he collects the gold.

It's fun. The multiplayer aspect is what's really making it neat to me. I want to do the PvP thing where you try to kill other people. Is there a lot of PvP like bullying and shit since it's all on there? No. You have to go to a special area like an arena to do any PvP at all. we try to kill other people is there a lot of pvp like bullying and shit since it's all no you have to go to a special area like an arena to do any pvp at all everything else not that popular apparently like scum was running around and he was when you had gotten off and he and i were playing last weekend and he's like i'm gonna go pvp and he was like maybe half an hour later

he's like i don't know if i'm just stupid because i keep pulling the map up and i'm in the pvp area and i am alone dude like it's me hanging out here like i'm not seeing anyone i wandered through there there's there were people there he may have been in the wrong spot like there's always people there but i haven't done it yet my character's too weak it's a super fun game if people haven't tried it just don't get too into it it's it's there's so many ways to level up and everything. It's addictive. And it does that fucking number thing that gets me so much where every time I shoot an enemy, numbers pop up with how much damage you're doing

and you got to get that number to go up. And then they keep enticing you because level 55 to 56, your number goes from 1,200 to 5,000. And then from 1,000 to 12,000, it just keeps, you know, 5,000 to 12,000. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. It gets up to millions. Later on, you see these endgame characters and they just walk into the dungeon.

It's like the end of Avengers. And the entire enemy army is there. But it's just you. And it's 15 seconds later, everything is dead. 15 seconds and it's all dead because you just hit everything and it just goes four million three million eight million and and everything is dying so fast that part's addictive to me there's just so much dopamine being fed into me one of those i like all the effects on the screen of yeah it's just it's it's so much stimulation the um we're we're like demigods

or something or seemingly i think i think somebody said we're human but whatever the fuck all i know is each of us has the powers of an avenger and we're all using them simultaneously on this one guy so it's pretty hilarious the shit that's going off on the screen i'm causing a literal lightning storm with six tornadoes, and the other guy has manifested an anaconda the size of a skyscraper, and it's coiled around the bad guy, and Taylor has, like, I don't know how many of his

skeleton men have come with him. Yeah, there's 14 people with Taylor, and they're all punching him and shooting him. Meanwhile, this poor motherfucker just had a minimum wage job to guard a crypt or some shit. He's just an innocent level 53 butcher trying to make ends meet. We're killing him.

It's a fun game, but I get addicted to things. I'm moving this week, so that's going to definitely keep me off the game a little bit. How far is your move? That'll be a good tea break for you. You mean in distance? Like 20 minutes or something like that um it's it's such a better area um um for the area better it's all about the dogs i've got like a right now i've got a small backyard and i have to run them on a lead

because i can't put up a fence here um where i'm going has an enormous yard with like a basketball court in it there's a bat i have my own little not like a basketball court in it. There's a bat. I have my own little, not like a, I shouldn't say basketball. There's a hoop with like a concrete pad out there. You're going to get into the game. You and I are going to talk stats and stories on the show. No,

I, I, I'm not even going to buy a ball. I'm not, I'm not, I won't do that to myself. Cause I know five pound dumbbells through the hoop. I remember every time I've ever played before

and just really hating it. But I will be able to play with the dogs out there and just go crazy and get a bunch of dog toys. I'm going to get one of those ball things that launches the ball for them. It's going to be fun. I used to play with a lacrosse stick because they bring the tennis balls back so slimy

and disgusting. What's the thought? You scoop them up and sling them have you seen those things that the dogs like load with the ball and then it launches it for them i have but i've never trained a dog to load one i'm afraid the fear isn't spending 250 dollars on a dog toy it's spending 250 dollars on a dog toy that your dog is too stupid to use because then people come around like, oh, does he know how to use it? No, he's fucking stupid.

Not as stupid as me for buying that, though. My dog trained me to put it in there for him. My old dog, my ex always said, oh, she's so smart, she's so smart. And I'd look over and it's a lab German Shepherd mix. And I'd look over and this dog has's a lab german shepherd mix and i'd look over

and this dog has its nose in the water bowl blowing bubbles you know what this is like a dad moment where you just look at your kid like you know maybe college isn't for everybody oh college is perfect which we wait let's wait for taylor for affirmative action i was pumped i didn't know it was coming it's nice when we get a win every now and then you weren't even expecting. I'll wait on Taylor. I won't wait on Taylor. I do want to talk about, let me find a nonsense topic that I've got here. The Belgian shot putter.

There was some sort of international, not Olympics, but some competition, field and track. And the Belgian team could not field a hurdler for some reason. There's an injury, a sickness. Maybe they just couldn't make it. And you have to compete or they like forfeit. So they got their shot putter out there. And I don't know if you've ever seen a lady shot putter, but they're built like men, like big brawny men with big asses. And sometimes they're like, but they don't fall down.

They can flick that fucking shot put. And this big bitch standing next to those hurdlers, they're like but they don't fall down right they can flick that fucking shot put and this big bitch standing next to those hurdlers they look like different species but she toughed it out and she basically steps over the hurdles she jogs it out and it was hilarious josh can you josh zach zach can you find a uh an image of of image of her doing the hurdles? Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I had to Google that to figure out what the fuck you were talking about, to be honest, because I'm, you know, uncultured swine. But yeah, that's a big lady.

That's a huge lady. That is a Siberian woman meant to last the winter. They have too many rules. Wow. That hurdle doesn't stand a chance. She doesn't need to jump. I like that she's clearly an athlete. All jokes aside,

she's got some extra body fat, but she's one of the best people in the world. Actually, I think she was seventh place in the hurdles and seventh place in the shot put, but not taking anything. She got there. Yeah, you know what? She is an athlete, just a different kind of athlete.

I prefer mine to be more fuckable, but if you're trying to throw a shot put, then that's what you need. I think that's the body style you want if you're throwing shot put. Well, she's not throwing shot put. They forced her to hurdle or forfeit. Yeah.

Taylor comes in late and schools us off. Shit, you're right. I ruined the story. I'm a bit of a track and field guy. I told years ago how I had to do track when I was in 8th grade and they made me do the 100 meter hurdles

and I was so bad at it that I made it over the first hurdle and then I clipped the second one and then I hit the bad at it that I like made it over the first hurdle and then I clipped the second one and then I hit the third one and then I like just went to the left lane and jogged it up humiliating humiliating just my like I dude going into it I remember a coach fucking Kirk was like Taylor you're gonna run and I'm like really I'm a shot put guy and he was like no you're you're gonna run and uh I ruined I see I lined up next to my buddy Sean who was fast as shit and I was and he was like giving me words of encouragement I'm like Sean just stop it like like you know what's gonna happen and then like I got blown the fuck out and then he and

then uh coach Kirk did send me to the discus and shot put area. And I was king of the short bus over there. Like the absolute, like these people were not coordinated. They were not sent there because of potential. They were sent there because they couldn't run. And I was in that group. It was so fucking embarrassing just getting blown out. But I saw everyone like so far ahead of me not I there was

no second that I was in it I was so far behind I guarantee everyone watching was like what's did is this like a make a wish like what's what's happening here with this dumb ass do you guys ever really get embarrassed by something

athletically in front of like there were girls from my grade there? I've talked about swimming. The lore I tell is that I took to swimming and I was immediately one of the fastest guys in the team, etc. The reality is I had been surfing for like six, seven years before I joined a swim team. And surfing was like my whole life, my whole identity. I do it before school, after school, et cetera. And at least for the freestyle, like the front crawl, paddling a surfboard and that are transferable skills. So it wasn't like the first day success that I'd make it out to be. It's, you know, like, I don't know. I immediately had good footwork in

hockey. Yeah. You're been a figure skater for seven years now. You can skate. All right. But butterfly, I didn't know how to do any other strokes. I only knew how to do front crawl. And in college, my coach asked me to do butterfly. I'm a fuck up asshole at this point in my life who can't take anything seriously. So I do this exaggerated butterfly where I hump the water like three times more than I thought you were supposed to. And he's like, perfect.

Keep going. And I became the team's butterfly and had a school record at the end of the year. But that's how I took the butterfly. Yeah. I love how your embarrassing story just comes out with you being like the top athlete in that. Well, it didn't seem like it turned out too bad to me, man. Yeah. Yeah yeah it was the opposite yeah yeah so that it's that's how i learned butterfly i was being an asshole trying

to hump the water like super big like like it was funny and it was just the stroke he was looking for i did that at one point with like middle school basketball i was like not putting my hands up high enough to defend and so i like's like, put your hands up, Taylor. And I was just aggressively bad with it. And he's like, perfect. And I'm like, okay. All right, well, you got me. You knew if you encouraged me to look like a retard,

I'll even it out and come down to the appropriate height of basketball hand defense or whatever uh brandon do you did you have any awful embarrassing sports stories growing up nothing too crazy i just know that like oh god it's like you were saying with uh with your thing like i was i was in uh i did baseball like i did soccer in middle school baseball like t-ball and all that stuff but i I did I was on varsity baseball for my school. And it was not because I was good enough to be a varsity athlete. It was because we didn't have a fucking JV team. So I was I was the king of the technicality, king of right field, dude.

I was great at being the one outfielder. They pray nothing ever goes to. So I was I was younger than everybody, too. But it was just kind of like any time anything came my way, I'm way i'm just like fuck dude i was daydreaming out here man nothing fucking happens there was nothing double vision right so i see two of everything these glasses are corrective in that way but and it's something i normally just deal with and cope with and i can kind of pull it together if i concentrate but half the time I don't concentrate just because I don't need good vision right now. I can, I can make it work because of that. I sucked at throwing and catching. Like it just isn't really my thing. Yeah. If you, if you see two balls, you're not going to be good

at hitting it with a baseball. And it's really tricky to hit something with a bat. The ball's moving and the, you have to hit it with like the right part of the bat or the right part of the swing. There's a lot going on. It's easy to mess that up. So I wasn't good at this game. I didn't play much. We're playing in gym class and the ball comes to me, which is worst case scenario. And this guy who's good at baseball runs up to me. He's like eight feet away.

He's like, throw it to me, Woody. Throw it to me, Woody. But this guy's not my friend. I don't trust this person at all. And I can see the play in the infield developing and he's like throw it to me because he thinks i'm going to throw it to the wrong base i don't trust this guy and i'm like i'm not going to be made a fool of and throw this thing eight feet so that you can throw it to the infield so i throw it to the wrong base. We lose the game.

Everyone's so mad at me. It came down to that. Yeah. Oh, no. It was like the end of gym class, and I fucked everything up. See, that's a good one. That's just like, no, everybody's going to be like, Matt, Matt, Matt. Just fire it to the third basement and the first basement. See,

I had all these embarrassing memories. I just zapped them out. It's super easy. I remember, uh, I was doing a, a tryout for ice hockey. I was a goalie in ice hockey.

And the way that goalie tryouts work is you have your own tryouts when you play for, you know, a higher level team. They have like 20, 30 goalies, however many people are competing to try out for that team and they like every tryout the first thing they do is they fuck with your endurance and your ability and like they see who is flexible and who has endurance and i remember being like 25 minutes into that tryout and thinking like i'm i'm gonna die like this is the most tired i've ever been i i can't believe like i is everybody else this tired am i the

idiot am i the like out of shape moron like i thought i was good at hockey and then this dude on the ice another goalie like after skating again he like stops and then we all start going back and he misses a whole skate back and then you get back again and he's like. He like he threw up on the ice and nothing gave me more confidence instantly than seeing someone else throw up during a tryout because it's like I'm not that guy. Like I'm not that guy right now. Like I'm I'm in the group of guys who are under control. Like that guy's the that guy. Like, I'm not that guy right now. Like, I'm in the group of guys who are under control. Like, that guy's the vomiting guy. And so, like, ironically, him doing that inspired me to, like, have more energy.

Because it was such a fear of being that guy. I can't be the guy that, like, is being pointed out by the coaches. Because the coaches are up in the stands. And, like, you start vomiting. And they're going to be like, number 23, who's 23 who's that stevenson yeah gone he's not getting invited back tomorrow so you don't want to vomit during a tryout but if you vomit during training i was always a little impressed that's like yeah if it's someone who's like in really good shape vomiting yeah yeah i've seen it a couple times i wasn't on the team but i saw i guess i was

watching a track team workout or something. My girlfriend was on the track team at the time. Guy, he's working out. He's kicking his own ass with the effort he's putting in. He puts his head into a trash can. This trash can has a lid over and a little

door in the front. He puts his shoulder deep through that door, vomits, and then gets back to training. And I was like, you know, that's actually pretty bad-ass. I've seen him swimming a lot too. It's swimming.

If you're outside the pool and you vomit on the like cement, that sucks. But it, anytime I've seen it, it's been like super watery and not that gross. One guy though, put his head in the fucking skimmer, which is that little thing with the door

in the pool and i'm like that that's just not how you vomit during swim practice you asshole what a douchebag talking about it's all right there it's going like to the filter i guess but it's the ultimate shared space you can't really get so fucking rude to vomit in the pool. How many parts per million of Steve's vomit are we all spitting in? Yeah, it tastes a little like Buffalo Wild Wings in here. Just a tiny bit. It's always just the water you're drinking during training.

We were talking about any... Do you have any embarrassing sports stories? Being embarrassed in front of a crowd or girls in your class. Of course. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, man.

I remember like last game of the year. I was pitching, and my arm was just numb from throwing. I'd thrown the whole game, and I couldn't throw anymore. And I'm looking in the dugout like, I'm done. Get me out of here. And nobody's getting me out of there. And little me should have called fucking time and been like, get me out. I'm done get me out of here and nobody's getting me out of there and i little me should have called fucking time i've been like get me out i'm done i can't throw anyway i think i

walked the game in and lost it you know i think i walked in the run you know i couldn't i couldn't throw it was my arm was numb i'd thrown i don't know 70 pitches or something that's bad coaching or management it was it was that guy was weird i I remember he was a man that, man, you just want a size larger on that shirt, brother. I don't know what you're trying to prove. Kitchen Stray's here, bro. What's up? I've been a medium since I was 15. It's just like, you know, you're freaking off.

You know, those come an extra large, Dave. I remember this was in high school. I was this is for my my high school team. I was playing goalie and there were a couple couple girls from my class who. So if you don't know, if you're from a state that doesn't have like hockey as a popular sport, hockey is not ever affiliated directly with the school or in most cases it's not because it's really, really expensive to insure because it's more dangerous than than football. And so like it's not connected to the school. And so whereas if you are going to school and then you go to a school related football game, there's some rules regarding what you can and can't do there.

Hockey, it wasn't like that. And so all the crazy kids would go to the hockey games and be wild. And that included all the cool girls, right? And so I remember it was the last game of the season. If we won, we moved on. If we lost, we were eliminated and we were in overtime. And I let a goal in that went high glove, which is embarrassing to let in. You should never let a high glove one in, ideally. And I remember I went down in a butterfly to save it, which I shouldn't have. That was bad positioning anyway. which is embarrassing to let in you should never let a high glove one in ideally and i remember i

went down in a butterfly to save it which i shouldn't have that was bad positioning anyway and like went up missed it and had that feeling of like the season's over you just you just made a mistake that cost this and like i was looking up to the left at my glove and past my glove were the stands where i saw like three girls from my grade who were like popular and like I made eye contact with one of them and was like super just briefly embarrassed even though there was no reason to be I found out later that girl actually had a crush on me so so that makes me pretty cool up until that moment up until that moment and she's like this guy fucking sucks he's got he I thought I thought he had cat like reflexes. He's an idiot. Missed that puck.

But yeah, I like made eye contact with her, looked away really quick and was super embarrassed. That sucks. Just just fucking up. It's your fault. Everyone goalie. That's very evident. Like every people are mad at you. Usually you're muted when a goalie fucks up.

There's this there's a goal like if anyone else fucks up it's a couple steps away from a goal do you know how the one of the worst parts about being a goalie is letting the puck in and then having to stand up turn around and pull the puck out of your own net and then hand it to the ref it's like such's such a demoralizing thing to do. It's like, you should get the puck. I'm in a bad mood. You should be helping me out. I would fish the puck out if I was in position.

Yeah. Or there were the immature goalies who would get mad and shoot the puck down the ice, and then the ref would be like, and have to skate down to the ice and get the puck. In my head, it was like, it's bad enough the puck is in the goal. We're not going to let it hang out in there.

We need to erase this mistake. You got to get it out. Man, I do not miss that at all. What a terrible position to play in sports. Do you ever think about playing again? No, because if I played again, I'd want to be a forward because I'd want to learn how to dangle and be, you know. Yeah, I would likely get hurt.

Why would you get hurt? Because, because he's adult man and then playing with an adult man. When someone smashes into an oak tree, you don't worry about the tree. This is Taylor motherfucking. Yeah, that's true.

I will do that. You're describing why he'll get hurt. They'll say his big ass and they're going to hit him so hard, not knowing he hasn't played hockey and I don't know, a decade and went and he's gonna fall poorly and he's gonna blow a knee out or an ankle thing lift your elbow up if you see you won't be able to walk right i'm just that's how i play yeah they all have to get one of those those canes with the four fucking like points points of contact. I have four tennis balls on each one. I have four tennis balls on my cane.

Was it worth it? There's a cool way to have a cane, but not one of the tennis ball ones. Kyle was right. I should never have played. I took a skate to the throat. My battery.

Now I'm prayer-alized. And I'm not even... Prayer-alized? Now I can't even speak right because my robot is mixed up. And I'm not a physics genius. That was coincidental. You have one of those systems

where you use your tongue to direct a cursor on a screen. Yeah. It's like he's saying a lot of slurs. Yeah, he's pissed. Life's not going well. But his spelling finally came in handy. It's not such a worthless skill now.

Here's his specially curated keyboard. There's no N. I want to claim a small victory over the submarine talk that we were having the other night. I kept saying, yeah, they could find human remains. They found the wreckage, so why wouldn't they find some human remains? I think Chiz was like, oh no, the bones will

liquefy. And I was like, no, maybe eventually seven or eight miles they'll liquefy or like crush or do something but no there'd be bones and like goo and stuff and and not everything's just gonna evaporate into nothing there's skull and and bones and teeth and shit and yeah they found them today they found they found the fucking wreckage they pulled it up and there's chunks of people in it really i want to see the chunks of people i wonder what they look like because i actually show you the chunks of billionaires it doesn't diminish my desire if they look like. Because I actually show you the chunks of billionaires. That doesn't diminish my desire to see them.

If they were broke, they'd show it to you. But these are billionaires now. Yeah. It's true. I was always shocked we got this person's tent imploded. We totally see it. What happened in here? Gross. There's shit everywhere. Yeah, I don't know what i would have predicted for the remains because i heard that like it imploded in like a nanosecond and this guy who was probably full of shit was like your brain takes

0.2 seconds to register anything and these guys died in 0.1 so the good news is they died before i'm willing to bet you're on edge when your subs about to blow up. I'm willing to bet everything he said is horseshit, that there is no standard as to how long things take to recognize. And I doubt they died so quick that they didn't know it was coming. But anyway, I do buy the idea that this implosion happened very quickly. And I don't know what to predict would be inside. Maybe the people turn into some sort of fluid that washes away. I mean, it was so many atmospheres of pressure

that I would imagine that they would not be conscious for any part of that sub being filled with water. Like, not even close. Yeah, I think if it's just a big pop, then I think as soon as it hits them, you know, there's no agony. I would say that, you know? It's a great way to go, dude.

We all have to go some way. Like, shit. I'm not afraid of pain.'m afraid of agony right like i don't want to lay there rolling around my guts are hanging out i watched that ukrainian shit and so and i'm like this is not for me this is rough you know you see you see guys in agony over there on both sides and uh it's it's it's not funny i see a drone drop a grenade on someone and this is clearly a fatal hit and then the next grenade just seems gratuitous it just seems like like we brought two like dude did you have to waste the money twice he was probably gonna die he definitely wasn't gonna to fight again.

Why did you need him again? When you watch people play games over a period of time, you start to recognize the meta, and then you watch it shift. In Tarkov, you'll see people using AKs, and then suddenly, oh, M4s are back in Vogue. You can watch that happening in Ukraine. There was a time when they were using the Vox 17 grenades, and then you could tell that wasn't lethal enough.

So they just put two of them on there. And then clearly they got this huge supply of F1s as well. So now I see them dropping two of those at a time. And then recently I see a whole new charge that might be just a Ukrainian-made drone bomb that they're making now.

All sorts of stuff. Have you seen the shit about the Fanta bombs? No. I haven't heard about that. Tell me. I don't know what that is. I hope I'm not talking out of my ass here. Some of my buddies down here in Texas,

the Texas Machine Gun Explosive Ordinance Co., they replicate a bunch of stuff. They replicated the Breaking Bad tortoise bomb with the head on it, like Hello DEA and all that shit. This one that they did, it's basically like ANFOS explosive whatever and with ball bearings around it in a fanta soda bottle that is apparently like a ukrainian improvised grenade so they tested the effectiveness of that and some of the shit that they're doing out there is just like you know it's the necessity is the the mother of all invention like yeah i guess they've just got it maybe what do they have in the center

to what's their What's initiating the pop? The phantom bomb, yeah. Something like, I'm sure they're using all sorts of different stuff. Any kind of blasting or either dead cord or I'm sure a grenade. Like the cap of a grenade

would do it just fine. What does it cost? Something reliable. I was always scared of fuses. I don't know like fusing techniques were always scary to me same same buddy of mine got fucked up because of a bad fuse on a grenade one time how bad your life uh it fucked him like it got him like he got shot multiple legs and shit pretty bad he was hospitalized but like it wasn't life-threatening see taylor you don't keep anything important in your thighs Whenever I would write your eyes dead

The only thing I would trust refuse detonating things was actual cannon fuse because I could see the shit and I knew how it worked It's like okay. I know how fast this burns. I know much time I have but anything else especially anything that was like Recovered like we've disassembled something and put this together. I was just so scared off Even like a little blasting cap. cap will just mutilate your hand. I never want my hands mutilated. I saw this video the other day in Venezuela or some shit. Come on, Slipper.

This dude picks up what he thinks is a smoke bomb, but it was a fuse burning. It looked like a quarter stick of dynamite went off in his hand. It took off. What did he just said he became fucking uh the penguin he lost multiple fingers and and when you lose them it's not like a knife took him off it's this hamburger that dangles and and there's bone attached and ligament and sinew and shit and it's awful and it must be the most painful thing that kind of just smashing tearing apart wound you gotta stop watching stuff like this.

Oh, I watched one today. Undercover cop sitting surveilling a residence about an unrelated matter. Along comes a carjacker, white dude with a gun, rolls up. As soon as he pulls the door handle, the cop lights him up and kills him right there. His girlfriend, no, starts running up. Did you kill my baby daddy? Did you kill my baby daddy? And for a minute, the kid on the ground is still alive.

He's like, what's your name? He goes, Clark. And later on, the girl goes, did you kill Clark? And I'm thinking like, totally. He totally killed Clark. Clark's dead. But Clark shouldn't have run up with a gun pointing it at people. It was funny.

Here's what happened. Clark laying on the ground dying. This is funny. Keep going. It's a great setup to your joke. You're losing little bits of your soul, man. He's laying there dying. He's white. You feel better now? He deserved it. I don't care. I'm calling don't care where'd all the cameras go

he's laying there bleeding out and uh he's got the guns laying next to him the cops standing over he goes what he's on his radio a guy just tried to rob me you know because some code get to me now and the kid goes i didn't try to rob you ski mask laying on the ground with a gun and i just thought man you just just instinctively lie but it's clear that you did where there's a cop he's pulling some guy out he has a black hoodie on and the guy just be like i have to get one more thing from my car i have to get one more and the cop is clearly like don't go back to your car don't don't don't and he's acting like bro you're really making a big deal out of this. Like, applying this, like, don't touch me.

Leave me alone. Stop overreacting to everything. I wonder if cops ever fall for that. Like, there must be a little social pressure for them to be like. Wasn't that the same guy who ran away and got hit by a car? This guy, his buddy ran away he was in a gray sweat hoodie and sweatpants and he had dreadlocks and he had a gun his buddy starts running and the other cop chases him shortly they managed to find him a few blocks away and uh they shot him and uh he he's there dying they're trying to save him after they shot

him he i thought he was gonna be okay because he yells out you hit me which everyone correctly interpreted is the chase is done i'm no longer resisting you hit me now i'm looking for friends and and and so the cops replied like you'd hope they would you know they're like all right who's got a a chest seal it sounded like it was a kind of bandage maybe. And they're trying to help this guy. His baby mama comes around and starts screaming and freaking out. Not helpful. I thought the guy was going to be okay because he sounded okay moments after the shot.

But I read the description and he died at the hospital. They always say that when they die right there on the ground though because i think they need to dock the hospital to declare them dead so it'll be like remember on succession when we as the viewer know that the that that one character has been dead for a very long time but they they're still doing chest compressions you know like people are getting tired of it at this point. I think that happens every, a lot. Cause whenever I've watched the entire police activity catalog, I mean, every single one of them, I started,

I went to the beginning of the uploads years ago and just let it roll. Just let it roll. Beautiful. So much dude. There's so much hundreds of thousands of videos. The bad policemen get a lot of press when they do bad stuff. Yeah. But the ones on, is it police activity?

It's both there, which I love. Okay. I've only been exposed to good cops on that so far. I've seen a couple of bad shoots that were just, there was that one where the guy's chasing the dude. There was some domestic thing and he's running with his gun out and he's running around the corner and the dude just spooks him. The guy rounds a fucking corner and the guy that he's chasing is right there and he just like rounds a fucking corner. And the guy is that he's chasing is right there.

And he just goes, pop, boom, and just shoots him in the chest. Like one round. You can tell the cop is like really upset about this. He's just like, not like,

did not mean to do it. And the guy, the guy, I can recall a bad shoot. There was a guy in the woods with an ax or might've been a hatchet, you know, but you get it. And,

uh, I think he was reported as threatening people with been a hatchet you know but you get it and uh i think he was reported as threatening people with this axe hatchet thing and the cop goes up to him and shoots him like almost right away from like 30 feet and it's like you gotta jump the gun there there really wasn't a lot of de-escalation you showed us that clip and the intro to it i'm'm like, oh, guy in the woods with an axe. Like, I'm probably going to come down on the cop side here. And then I watched it and it's like, no, the dude's like eight layers of trees away. He's like, what are you doing?

Well, dying now. And then kills him in the woods. Hi, I was getting some firewood. He's probably getting firewood, right? No, no. Because the cop went there and the wheeled wheeler had been reported as threatening people he was in the water with a paddle we don't know what he was up to so i assume that's true but uh wait for one threat or wait for the guy

to start walking towards you all you need is a guy if a guy with an axe starts walking towards you who's coming down on the side of the ax guy? Who? Tell him to stop once, maybe. Just, you know, have him walk through one of your commands or let him get within 20 feet or so. Put the ax down, sir. Yeah.

You know what? One of the slickest things I saw a cop do recently, he comes into a parked vehicle and they look homeless in there and, like, lots of sketchy shit's going on. They don't have exactly the right paperwork. And oh i don't know i don't know nothing about no warrants and it's getting weird and the partner is like putting these mini stop sticks behind all the tires like without them noticing these little they look like rat traps like this little triangle thing and if they collapse it it's gonna pop their tire and it's those hollow

spikes that immediately bleed them out and sure enough they take off 45 seconds later you could hear it as the car is leaving it was great that's pretty legit now we both saw the one i think the three everyone but taylor saw that one at the strip mall maybe yeah i haven't yes yeah the tax cheating yeah so maybe brandon's expertise on this one yeah it starts off with a police officer actually talking to a mother and her two children being super friendly with them and talking about buckling up in the car and stuff and you and in the distance you hear semi-automatic gunfire like loud and he immediately goes into action getting his gun and calling calling it in and the family gets the fuck out of there and then he it sounded closer to him clearly

than it was because he goes on a very long jog he does not jump rope this dude he had no cardio and a hundred feet he was sucking wind and i hate to be that monday morning quarterback because this guy like this guy immediately grabs his rifle, runs toward the sound of gunfire. He's doing the thing you want cops to do. Absolutely. You know what? I'm giving 95% kudos to this dude. Executed really well.

I agree. I was thinking the same thing. We just hear this dude huffing and puffing into his body cam. I don't care that he's out of shape. I bet he's not even that out of shape. I think in that moment on a hot day, wearing all that gear, carrying a rifle in your boots, and you start running a what's about an eighth of a mile man to wear pants i'm not gonna be that far ahead of that guy you know uh but if he hopped in his car he could have been

there real quick but it it clearly sounded close like he needed to get in the action right now and you don't want to drive up on somebody who's out who's standing with a gun because they're gonna you know what would be what would contribute to cops being in better shape is if they all had to kind of wear postal carrier style shorts. Oh. I want them up high for mobility. Honestly, the mobility is fine, but the real thing

is like a shaming tactic where it's like, oh, I'm sorry, officer, but fuck, you're 200 pounds overweight. You have to adopt my need. I like Kyle's idea. I need to see that camel toe, Brooke. Moose knuckle out, rabbit! Sir, why are we taking this so seriously? It's the local police department.

It's like Mayfair's son. I've seen some shit. It's a camel toe on the fit guys and a moose knuckle on the Chris Christies of the world. Chris Christie has the worst body type. Did you see him? He got caught falling asleep on that fucking plane

recently. Someone should have checked on him. He could have died. It was bad because of his posture. He looked like a fucking bloated corpse just laid out. I guarantee you he needs a CPAP. Chris Christie should have a guy there being like, no, do not take pictures of the

governor or whatever he was. Have you ever seen those guys? He's so fat. You know the heuristic of a guy who is like 5'8", but he's so fat that when he's sitting down, he has like the torso height of like a 6'3 man. Do you guys know what I mean? Like those fat people whose asses are so fat that when they're sitting, they look like how Kyle would sitting down, like a 6'2 guy.

And then they stand up and they're like 5'8", and it's just ass fat that's increasing their sitting height. Imagine having enough ass that it increases my sitting height. That's something. That's an American problem. You're on a booster seat. And there's no such thing as an uncomfortable chair at that weight. I was reading about ass

implants today, and someone asked me how comfortable they were, and they were like, hey, what does it feel like to sit down with an ass implant? It tastes the same as a regular ass. But they said it felt like you were sitting with your wallet in your pocket for like a year. That sounds awful.

Like really uncomfortably, like you've got something in your pocket and then eventually you're just like... Costanza wallet, you got mints in there. Yeah, that's a shitty thing to do. You've been talking about getting one ass implant, right? You don't want an ass implant because then it's... You might.

No, I don't. No, there's no need. No, no, no. You need corrective ass surgery. I do. We're going to put just a little titty in your left cheek. That's right. We just need one silicone implant in the hole.

Not the hole you're thinking of, the hole that Oli Taylor has in the side of his head. No, that makes me more enticing. I have a third hole. I'm unpopular. Yeah, no, it's filling out again. All the ruthless hip thrusts I've been doing for so long are finally like

genuinely helping that out that and the dent puller you invested in that and the dent puller i have a body plunger that i stick on my ass and i pull it out i'm all cartoony that's not like a penis pump for your ass i got a date tonight yeah i got a date tonight. Yeah, I got a date tonight. I'm going to wear padded underwear, even out my right upper ass to make it look better. Brandon, I wanted to ask you, because it's big news. You talked to the ATF directly. That's incredible.

How did that go, and what was the impetus of it i want to know all about it so i got uh reached out to to be to participate in a field hearing uh against the atf so uh basically they just do that members of congress will do these field hearings where uh they ask for expert witness testimony this in this case it was like firearm shop owners who'd been shut down and you know my goofy ass for some fucking reason. So they had me come down and talk to them and it was your favorite congressman.

It's Matt Gates and Marjorie Taylor Green were there for the testimony. Two winners. Oh yeah. You know what? I'll take my friends where I can fucking get them, man. Yeah. You've got to be looking for allies in that room. You're like, Lindsey Graham, whatever, man, sure.

Hop on board. It's like, you know what, there's a lot of stuff about certain things that they've done that's just very performative. Was it Marjorie? Was it her who had the campaign ad of her Tanner riding a car? That sounds like something she would do. It was either her or Lauren Boebert. Like one of them for sure Tanner riding a car. That sounds like something she would do. It was either her or Lauren Boebert. One of them

for sure Tanner riding a car with a Barrett. Lauren is much better. She's much more attractive. It's insane to me. First of all, Lauren Boebert can get it. It was funny the people on Twitter saying, as a brown man, Mr. Herrera,

how did Miss Green treat you like like a normal fucking person like what the like just it's kind of funny like how much the the propaganda like we were told that she hates all mexicans and they you know she won't even make talk with her hands a lot it was marjorie taylor green kyle you're right yeah it was ridiculous. They were asking you if she hated you because you have a Mexican parent. They were asking how did she treat you?

Like a normal fucking person. She asked for landscaping tips. She asked what my availability was on Thursday. The yard's getting a little rowdy. She snapped at me when she wanted my attention. She snapped at me. Can you imagine how rude that would be?

She thought I was the green room person at first. It didn't help because you kept answering like, see? Yes, Miss Green. Yeah, definitely. No. Yeah, I like God. I am a huge fan of god no no no no no oh it's noisy it's noisy so that was were you intimidated at all talking to those those big

wigs um a little bit it wasn't it wasn't too bad uh it was a prepared statement So really it was just like, okay, can you read without a read for five minutes without fucking it up and then answer a couple of questions. So it wasn't too bad. It was, it was, it was pretty neat though. It's neat to have the opportunity to do something kind of more official like that instead of just bitching on the internet. Well, you're doing more than rounding up to a hundred percent of people like protecting gun rights so hell yeah two thumbs up yeah i'm just going on side quest now it's like you know you do the youtube thing for a while and then it's like okay what the fuck else can i do now like i just took a boxing match nice when is can you say when it is yeah july 22nd so it's coming up soon it's like three

weeks from now something like that that. Who's your opponent? I'm fighting a streamer named Action Man with the T replaced by a seven. He's, from my understanding, not taking it very seriously and just streaming for 12 hours a day, like hitting dabs and smoking cigarettes and not training. So, yeah. Oh, dude, what are you thinking? Who set this up? So here's the picture is a little misleading because no it's not do you own this company i so i have the shit out of this fish

man i have a better physique but he has almost if uh half a foot on me height wise that doesn't matter oh so so he's like he's got reach he's got reach. He's got reach, but I never fought anybody who was as tight as his height. Everybody was taller. True. I'm feeling pretty good about it. So you have you have experience boxing? No, none. I've never, never been in a boxing match.

This is I did like I've been I'm in the middle of like a six week crash course on boxing. So I've been training. It's too late for him to do anything about this now. But I've been training six days a week on top of my regular lifting schedule and everything. So like, and I've got some like gold glove boxer friends and shit are just like kind of coaching me and sparring with me and shit.

That's actually today. I just, you know, coming off of a bloody nose, fucking sparring for six rounds. So that was fun. We got, we got to Providence.

What were you like at first? Awkward as fuck. Yeah. Completely. Like you think you know how to throw a. And what were you like at first? Awkward as fuck. Um, completely like you think you know how to throw a fucking punch. You're like, Oh, I've scrapped. I can do, you know,

I can throw it and you don't, you fucking don't. Um, so I've been working on that surprising amount of footwork. Everything's starting to feel less awkward. Like I'm starting to move with purpose now. And I know that it's probably, it looks awful to like an experienced boxer,

but for me only doing this for three fucking weeks period uh i'm feeling i'm feeling better about it people be like ah he's so slow you're used to watching floyd mayweather bro like lower your expectations and after you spar a little bit holy shit like just looking at the pros like mayweather and and tyson whatnot you you realize these guys are in a totally different league. They're borderline not human. You're going to destroy this person. Does this other guy have fighting experience? Does he have boxing experience

and that's why he's not taking it seriously? No. Both of us are green. Neither of us have ever done any formal boxing or anything. Originally, the guy I challenged backed out which is why we were looking for like any opponent and this is the only guy that said yes so you know what kudos to him for saying yes but i i'm going to have fun it seems like a huge mistake on his part to dude if i agreed to a

boxing match the amount of focus and effort i would put into that driven by nothing more than the fear of getting my ass handed to me. So you can tell he's tall. This is a problem. Does it bother you when people call you a bully? People are saying. I was, you know, I was, I was really hoping he was actually going to take this seriously, which it doesn't seem like he is but you know hopefully he's surprising me and just like not not showing off that he's training because i talked about doing the same thing i talked about not mention it dude he's got you're gonna scare him oh he does this and he mixes in some like some punches like imagine jab jab jab if i lost i would kill myself in the parking lot. Have you heard

Sam Hyde's little... He's talked about what he would have done if he would have lost his boxing match. And it's funny getting an insight from him because he's like, dude, if I would have gotten beat up by that guy, I would have had to like quit the internet like i i talked more shit than anyone has ever talked before a fight and if

that guy went in there and knocked my block and he like was giving props to the other guy he's like that dude was swinging hammers like if he would have connected i would have been knocked out on the ground and i would have had to like find a new line of work work. That puts a huge amount of stress on yourself. Yeah, you got to go train with Sam. You got to get up to Providence and have him teach you. The way he did Harley turned him into a beast. I was texting him a little bit. I've been talking to Harley too.

He's actually been really, really insightful because he's done two of these now. But yeah, I had texted a little bit with Sam. So really, I think it's going to come down to if he's willing to break off a bit of time and schedules line up and everything because it is really fucking close yeah um but yeah no i'd love to just even if nothing else to add to the fucking lore you know just go out there for one day and dude i love that now we're like for the like youtuber boxing like someone will always kind of upturn the apple cart just by being like i'm going to

train with sam hyde fuck you and they just like do that now and for some reason they get upset by it it's like are you really that offended by a bunch of people boxing in a dirty parking lot like right yeah with it with an alleged neo-nazi though oh he's also the ghost of kiev so it balances out i guess i don't know yeah he's a hero the ghost of kiev evens out all those other things. You know, he's accused of... with all those schools. But that's fake news, as we know. I still love all that.

Like with the Russian coup situation and everything, everybody's like, they're using like fish tank photos to say like, you know, Wagner group mercenary kills, you know, a groom full of government officials. Yes. Same with fucking AR-15. That's awesome.

Dude, it's unbelievable that there are still news people that run that like how you have to be intentionally ignorant to to not imagine that imagine no one at your media company being like that sam hyde dumbass or i'll counter with this everybody in that media company who knows who Sam is, is probably like saying nothing. They're like, send it. Yeah. They're like, I don't want to admit that.

I think a world peace is funny. So I'm more like, they're like, I have the, I could stop this from going up and save my boss's career. Or I have the opportunity to do something very funny. Yeah. But fuck him. Yeah. Run this silly nonsense

story. Woody, you had something you wanted to chat about. Kyle, before the show, wanted to talk about the Supreme Court affirmative action decision. I was watching CNN and this guy. What's his fucking name? I wanted to get it right. Fucking Kenny

Zoo or something. His last name is XU. He was the... I think he's harvard alumni and he's at uh a big he was a big proponent for this and uh he's the one they interviewed for it and the interviewer was a black lady and he a proponent did he want affirmative action to end to keep going he wanted to it to end. Okay. Yeah, he was part of this movement. And he destroyed her. They had this debate that went on for like three minutes, and she would ask these questions that she'd been handed,

and you would see his little mind work. And then you find a different way to answer. Actually, no. I don't think that at all. I don't think socioeconomic status should be taken into effect. That's a whole different thing. And he'd just break her down and destroy her. She had to end the conversation,

get off the phone with him, and call an ally. And that guy, she was like, so you just heard Kenny talk. What do you have to say? He's like, wait, why don't you wait until Kenny left to bring your guy on? Why don't you let Kenny be the mom for a while?

She lost the debate so bad she left and called a friend? Do you know what kind of uber Asian you have to be to get into Harvard? Yeah, imagine. You gotta be bright. He's like, Asians aren't overrepresented aren't overrepresented because of

their skin color. It's because they study twice as much as white kids. He said it's a cultural thing. It was really fun to listen to that guy talk. I guess affirmative action is stricken down in college admissions. Specifically, they mentioned Harvard and what's the one in North Carolina? UNC Chapel Hill. It's

our most selective state school. It's a pretty good state school. This really sucks though because now instead of looking at the color of people's skin they have to look at the content of their character. That's a terrible thing. You know and it's funny they specifically mentioned you can still look at the color of their skin just not in the

context that they used to. They used to be like, all right, we need, you know, a bunch more black guys and fewer Asian guys, et cetera. Now they're like,

if you overcame some situation, if you were like dealt a bad hand in life, that's related to your skin color, then we can still look at that, but not just skin color. You need to show me a little, a little work around there well i think you'd like it if you read the decision i think you'd be on the same team justice roberts

okay i read a part of it that said like oh you can still take into account everything we just said you couldn't i it's not how i interpreted it it was like skin color in the context of overcoming a tough situation was like a specific incident kind of yeah yeah like you know like someone held this against you maybe and that you overcame it or whatever but they can't do it as like the sort of the quota thing they used to like that we've got too many asians and not enough they'll let you speak what it said was they would let you speak about it but they won't like use it to uh as a qualifier they they won't so they won't use it as a qualifier but they're encouraging people they won't use it as a qualifier but they're

encouraging people to write including their race they're not encouraging them or allowing them just the um the the interesting thing is they're allowing the legacy stuff to continue because that's oh that was never going to stop dude those are the richest people in the country you think legacies are getting into fucking yale because they're smart sometimes you think like remember do you think george w bush got into yale because he said it's five times easier um for them to get in than uh than the average person then yeah here can i read the part that i think that i thought taylor would like more than he seems to nothing in this opinion should be construed as prohibiting universities from considering an applicant's discussion of how race affected his or her life, be it through discrimination, inspiration or otherwise.

But despite the dissent's assertion to the contrary, universities may not simply establish through essays or other means the regime he would hold unlawful today. I got a little mixed up towards the end there. Yeah, what it seems like is it's like a layer of distance going, yes'll abide by this but we're gonna back log something that effectively does something similar that seems to be the goal right wait i'm wondering what the what the teeth are there we're like if a you know let's say like a more liberal leaning um admissions board just decides to fucking do this anyway like are they gonna have to sue the school or something like that probably you probably will have to sue the school the way i interpreted the decision is like imagine you're a girl trying to get on the guy's football team and you're like man everyone

thought i would suck but once they saw me kick i overcame this and then they really wanted me as part of the team because it turns out even though i'm a girl i'm the best cook kicker on the football team and i became one of the boys that's a way that you can use your sex to talk about a thing that you overcame in kind of a positive light and they would like stories like that if it was related to skin color but not simply a you know you need more black guys and i'm one of them so invite me you know lower the bar for me but not for somebody else did i understand lay it out right okay well yeah yeah i just i still it seems like you still think there's a way it seems like just a back-end thing where it's like no no we're not gonna go based on this but we're gonna go based on you know we're gonna take

heavily into account the the aspects of your race here and your sex here and it's like okay well then that seems uh not really in the spirit of the decision does it's like it's like rick and morty it's like uh well that just sounds like, you know, affirmative action with extra steps. It's hard to get this really right. I have this stupid lifeguard thing as a parallel. Before I became a lifeguard,

there used to be an interview part. So it was like 80%, whatever, I don't know, 50% athletic competition and 50% interview. And what happened in practice was the people who were like the brass for this is a city job. We're hiring locals. So like if you were saying an ocean city high school student, you might get a leg up over some guy who's coming down from Philadelphia and they thought that was corrupt. So they got rid of the interview entirely

and to get this job, it was just a straight up athletic competition and they hire that was corrupt. So they got rid of the interview entirely. And to get this job, it was just a straight up athletic competition and they hire you in the order that you finished. But that's a problem too. For example, college kids who would do well in this competition were available from like May until August. And then high school kids

who maybe didn't win athletically were available from June until September. So you gotta have both. Otherwise, you have no fucking lifeguards in August when they go back to school and it's not Labor Day yet and the beaches are still busy. I feel you. You're running for affirmative action.

It just seems like, maybe I'm an idiot, but it seems like whoever's designing the trains and the roads and flying planes like i want i want the best fucking guy designing roads i want the absolute best guy being an engineer in charge of infrastructure i want the best lady in charge of this the best dude in charge of that like like that that stuff's important like back around to the titanic thing did you see that where they talked about a ruin of action in that because the CEO was quoted as saying,

like, our engineers aren't just a bunch of 50-year-old white guys because that's not inspiring. I did see that. It's like, yeah, you fired the 50-year-old white guy who was like, you're mixing titanium and carbon dioxide. You fired the, I don't know, experienced structural engineer that you may have needed for that. And guess what?

He's not a fucking sub-expert because he's a 50-year-old white guy. He's a sub-expert because he studies studies subs where i was going with my thing though was that you don't want to fully stock a freshman class based on sat scores and nothing else because you might miss out on a real gem why like if the goal is like an engineering school or something why would you not take the most relevant information and use that to parse out who the most qualified people are what would what would you say a gem would be in that context if not like a good student yeah i would imagine that there could be someone who's maybe not such a wilting flower someone with some leadership skills someone who's just fucking captain america who got a 1570 on their SATs, you might pick him over some wilting flower egghead who got a 1600.

Why pick that guy over the smarter guy who's better at the job being measured? Unless you need a footballer. I'm sorry. Let's define what a wilting flower means. This, to me, is someone who can't speak in front of other people, for example. Somebody who doesn't have the same leadership skills. Somebody who is just a follower but has great SAT scores.

That's sort of the same thing. I don't know how you test that, though, other than the interview process, right? Well, I mean, they count the interview process. I'm sure that if you come in there and you're a stuttering mess, they probably take that into effect. Not a literal stutter.

They'd love that. We need to report. Oh, thank God. Disabilities. Check that box. No, I guess all I'm saying is that there's something to be said for the interview and the life that they lived that maybe test scores don't fully capture.

Yeah, I guess it depends on what you're doing. Yeah, I really, yeah, I care about that less too. fully capture yeah i guess it depends on what you're doing though yeah i i really yeah i care about that less too like i i would rather if i would rather the egghead weirdo who loves thinking about how trains work and the most efficient ways for them to move like that that's the guy i want in charge of trains like the guy flying my plane i don't want him i want the guy who flies me to chicago to get home from work and boot up flight simulator yeah but when you're going down he's gonna give a rousing speech though yeah he's gonna give he's like hey i gotta we're all not gonna die but i got a great attitude and i'm gonna give you the tight five i've been

while i'm tucking my head between my knees i'm thinking you know what this motherfucker's a leader yeah i still might be right though like like you take the guy who's, say, ex-Marine. He might do better in that plane-going-down situation than someone who doesn't have the same capacity to handle stress and trauma. I don't know if I want a Marine flying a plane. For every combat adult gentleman we put into a cockpit, somewhere there's a smart

Asian kid who didn't get in because he didn't get shell-shocked. That's true, too. There's winners and losers in this thing. You're slick you're a slick talking underachiever i see that in you you're kind of like wait a minute there's some actually smart kid who crossed all the fucking t's and dotted all the i's and studied hard every goddamn night and you're gonna say no to him sorry you're white see taylor i'm i'm i'm with you on that actually like i think considering skin color is it's wrong it's wrong because there's winners and losers in this thing and and i like fairness

and kindness are what i use to arrive at on decisions like this my family was really jackie's family which i'm calling my own right now there were a lot of civil servants in that family. Her mom worked in the prison in the sheriff's department. Her father was a fireman, cops in the family. Uncle was a cop, brother in law, tons of them. And what I know about New Jersey civil servants is there is affirmative action that's very strong. And it was just known. It sounds racist to say, but it's just flat out true.

If you're a white guy, you got to score like 97% on your captain's test. If you're a black guy, that number is like 82%. Because that's how the scores break down. There's that same scale for Harvard admissions. I believe you. It always seemed wrong. Her father never made captain

because his scores weren't good enough for the white guy scores. And I don't know. I was like, God always seemed bad. Having said that, if they chose one guy who's captain over another guy, not based on skin color,

but because one seems to get along with everyone while the other is universally hated, hated one can't stop being an asshole, but he scored higher on his captain's test. I mean, there's more to it, but that's, that's also, everyone while the other is universally hated, hated one can't stop being an asshole, but he scored higher on his captain's test. I mean, there's more to it, but that's, that's also,

that's just a different dynamic of meritocracy, right? Yeah. Like you're just, you're it's, it's not decided on like nationality, skin tone, anything.

It's just like, that is one thing that is a leader aspect for this job that you're better at, you know? Yeah. That's what I was trying to get at. Like there, there's, there's more to it than just test scores but test scores are matter and there shouldn't be skin

color that it seems like the height of getting away from racism is no longer considering race and these kind of decisions yeah because like stuff like that like the story you just told like that's where you could still build animosity you know in a post-racism world you know because you know what they're best dude just what we haven't brought up is that is what the left's take on this is and it's completely different we'd be talking in circles right now because their point of view is oh no this this rogue court is at it again now we have to find other ways to make our campuses diverse. Full stop. That is their entire interpretation of what has happened. Forget about all that fairness nonsense. It wasn't about being fair. It was always about creating diversity on campus. That is above all else on the big

pyramid of what this institution cares about. Diversity on campus is right at the top and then maybe i don't know safety somewhere below that and then educating people is like third or fourth like barely yeah yeah yeah i wonder what their side of it would be like if we had a good representative from college like why is diversity on campus so important why is that more important than merit i it shouldn't be if i have all the best like the the idea that like i think a lot of people have an idea that like harvard and yale create geniuses like that when you go to harvard you emerge and that if i went to harvard if they took me in and put me in their fucking whatever the most advanced program is that i would be at the other end a genius and so smart like no harvard is an elite institution because it traditionally chose elite

like the smartest of the smart people it's not harvard creating geniuses it's geniuses created harvard as an institution that was the best part of kenny's interview he was like that's why consistently blacks are at the bottom 25 of the harvard graduating class and she's like well um wait but it was so great it he said he said it was unfair to put them in that position yeah it was unfair to them so like if i can straw man out like what the left's argument would be on this i would assume it would be something along the lines of you know like institutional racism over the last 150 years is is why they're not in positions to study as much or they're you know not in you know secure enough homes you know two-parent homes that do you know are more likely to be you know academically uh excellent and

things like that and therefore we've got to use these affirmative action techniques as a way of kind of bringing them back up with the top but in reality it's exactly what kyle just said we're like okay well if you're putting somebody who's you know whether it's there for all or not is a different question but who's not qualified to be at that academic level you're just setting them up for failure yeah yeah i get really frustrated when i hear the argument that like these lower income people they don't have the time to parent their children and help them study meanwhile you got this other high income. Mom's a doctor.

Dad's an astronaut. They got nothing but fucking free time. They're always there by the kitchen table just doing their kids homework for them. No, honey. No, not like this. Yes, Commander. I'll be right with you. Dude, the absolute delusion people have about the amount of work rich guys are doing day to day who aren't retired is crazy.

The idea of a CEO doing nothing all day is like, yeah, maybe at some giant multinational firm where he's really not doing much. But average CEOs at a small company, they're working every day. They're stressed as shit. Other than trust fund babies or something like that sure the people who are actually like yeah the ceos like the people that are actually doing the big works like oh you're you know what what justifies this salary it's like the fact that nobody else can fucking do that but this guy yeah the fact that this guy created the business and like 80 people have jobs because of him and also that's probably just a bit more than the counter offer from another company exactly it's market price or else they wouldn't

be paying it they travel a ton at the ceo level too they used to bring in cisco ceo to like i don't know at&t is making some big decision on who which person's going to supply their routers and the ceo would come and help with the sales team let Let's be a, let's continue to be a CEO and landlord defending podcast. I love it. It upsets so many people when you, when you're like, dude, CEOs and landlords work so hard every day and you just live there like a

fucking bomb. They do though. The people, but the people that get upset at that are the kind of people that don't tip their landlords. And I don't trust them. Dude, you have to tip your landlord. Oh, I totally tip my landlord all the time.

Dude, sometimes I used to tell my landlord, hey, I'm trying to grind. And without the motivation of a higher rent, I'm not going to. So I'm going to pay you twice as much this year. And I'm going to give you $5 million for that book you have that says how to make $5 million. So that's how I do. They're land chats, first of all. And without them putting a roof over three quarters of America and growing, thank God. Tell them.

Dude, there's truth to it, though. These people that saved up the debt. Now, if you're born with money and you buy real estate, that's a different thing. But the people who set aside enough money to buy extra houses and rent them out and make that happen, Jesus, fucking respect that they did what you didn't, renter.

Yeah, renter. I saw this. I say that pejoratively. That was so much. Did you really call me a renter? that was so much renter with there was it's renter to you it's tenant

tenant dude the amount of the amount of venom that dripped off of what he's saying I'm here for a direction what he's like you fucking renter dude the only thing Woody hates more than the renter is an overweight renter you got fun money for food you fat ass like you can't kill some equity

oh i love that i wish dude i would vote for you to be president if your only thing was like everyone is too goddamn fat like they're like what what are we going to do about the economy? You're like, I don't give a fuck. Fat ass. I don't give a fuck. Hey, fat ass, don't you ever ask me that question again. Everybody to ask questions, they have to be on a cycle.

They have to pull their shirt up. The whole room is a treadmill pulling them away from you. No definition, opinion discarded. Get out of here. You have a great cardio after – The whole room is a treadmill. I don't take questions for the first 20 minutes.

I just watch them run. And the ones who are still close enough to ask me a question are allowed. Yeah. Once again, first question goes to bodybuilding.com. Yeah, sure. What are your macros today? Bodybuilding.com never asks anything even vaguely relevant. They're always the chief correspondent is the

bodybuilding.com. What did I hear about Chinese-Korea team? I wanted to confirm something from a thread we had in 2008. How many days are in a week? Because my friend of mine tells me Monday, Wednesday, Friday and then the additional sunday that's four in a week but the following is it'd be fucking hilarious like the body transformation of jim acosta i know so he could finally ask a question

if you guys don't know how many fucking days there are if you guys don't know the meme look up the bodybuilding.com how many days in a week saga there is. And it is an internet forum fight from like 2007 where two guys argue for days about what constitutes a week. Because they argue like, dude, I work out four times a week. And he's like,

no, you work out Monday and Wednesday and Friday and Sunday. He's like, that's four days in the week. And he's like, what about the next week? And he's like, that's four days in the week. And he's like, what about the next week? And he's like, that's four days too. And he's like, only if you count Sunday twice. And they're like screaming at each other. And there are people responding like, this is insane, guys.

Just work out. I'm confused because the next week, does he work out Monday again? I would have to. It's so psychotic. I can't remember. They're actually argument. I would have to because that one point the dude is like they're making Excel sheets and stuff and like pulling up like calendars and X here. Do you see X is under the day?

Do you see the X under SU? That means you worked out Sunday. And they're like, yeah. And then I worked out Tuesday. And they're like, that's the next week. It's such a funny. Oh, he was double counting his Sunday, wasn't he? He was double counting his Sunday.

He works out three or four days a week that he sells his four because of. And the other guy was so upset. Don't you wish there were 10 days in a week? Yeah, it would just make months shorter. 10's better, though. No, you guys are crazy. Weekends come three times a month? No.

But weekend's nonsense. We're going to do a whole different thing under my 10-day week system. Don't worry. Roll me through it. Well, I'm going to count it like on bodybuilding.com so technically you'll get so it's a nine-day week it's a nine-day week you count sunday twice so you get four days off ever since emperor kyle introduced midweek sunday and a goddamn nightmare for transit i'm sick and tired of church.

Why aren't months three weeks long and each week being 10 days? Are you high? It's a way better. Not yet. It's a way better system. It's still 30 days a month. It's just like such a high thought. Like, man, you could do that over 310.

Are we talking about the calendar or how we measure time now the calendar I guess like it would take minimal changes to just well the computer programmers would be fucked but if you could just go to 3 10 day weeks things would simplify

dramatically we should change weeks to 6 days we get a longer weekend but there's 365 days in a year what do you do about the months that don't add up right they don't all have five days off dude time time itself you're doing five days a year as long as we all agree it doesn't matter but you have to count them even if we don't work them yeah that's it we're just gonna have a five-day month that no one fucking works and we're set we'll do it like um what is that movie where you get to kill each other we get to burn the purge the purge yeah five purge days every year yeah bringing you around everybody thinks that they want to purge but nobody wants a purge

i'm staying home there would be landmines all over my yard for the Purge. Like the problem with the Purge movies and that I've never seen a moment of is that they don't account for the fact that, you know, the Purge Day is coming. So you would be ready to pounce or like have explosives in somebody's car and be waiting to push the button or whatever. Like there's no reason to begin your plot the moment the clock ticks over. I've seen like four Purge movies and they do account for like preparation and stuff. As a matter of fact, home security is a big thing.

You know like in front of a retail store they have the metal doors that sort of roll down. People have them in their houses and stuff and just turn them into little fortresses. But it's like you know the tasty pistachio is in that shell.

There's some good shit in there, so they become targets. During the purge, what if you just went the day before the purge to the person's house you wanted to target and just hold them at gunpoint until it rolls over? So then you just take a B&E charge. I mean, that's easy.

That's easy to beat. This is a solid idea. You got conspiracy to commit murder there too, though, right? Just do it on the purge day. Oh, yeah. When you committed the conspiracy, it was murder, even though retroactively it wasn't a murder. What if you first started conspiring the last purge day? That's what you'd want to do.

You'd want to document that. I had a question about a lawyer, and I was talking to Jackie about it, and I realized Kyle might know the answer. So here's the situation. I've committed a crime. I'm guilty of this crime, right? Let's all agree that I did this thing. They found the bar drive.

Do I tell my attorney that i did it or do i just are we gonna co-pretend that i didn't do this thing as we defend me i have no idea i know in the movies um it seems like the good attorney is like like doesn't care like it doesn't matter to him uh and doesn't even want to know their job is to get you off yeah and then make sure you don't matter to him and doesn't even want to know. Their job is to get you off. Yeah. And then make sure you don't go to jail. Yeah. I know my lawyer never even. To lay out your situation, you received drugs at a P.O. box that you gave out to fans to receive any sorts of things, right?

It was plausible deniability. Sure, yeah. So do you tell your attorneys, like,n said the darnedest stuff you know one time i got a cat head no um or are you like because in discovery they're privy to everything that all the evidence so they're well aware that i'm guilty but so so you're this is an open and shut case not in your favor well no see see that's the that's the thing about the law though it okay you definitely did it now let's make sure they can't use any of that stuff that says you did so so like and then we won like we won the state case via that like it was like oh shit you can't

use any of that stuff what do you do and arresting my client and then they lost and then they're like ah i got some guys at the federal level who can take this on and because the guns there then the search warrant didn't matter and whatever nonsense didn't matter and it was all yeah i was thinking about it in the context of trump right so trump has documents and when they subpoenaed him and said you have to give them back he told him i gave you everything i had and then he's been interviewed subsequently where he's like, well, I still had my golf shirts mixed in with the documents. So I just didn't have enough time, 18 months, to separate my golf shirts from my classified documents. That's why I told the government that I gave him everything.

He's guilty. I was wondering, when Trump works with his attorneys, does he maintain that he's innocent, that he's allowed to have this? Or do they just push past all that and talk about how to get the best outcome for him? Well, I mean, in his case, there's a whole timeline. They know he's guilty of what he's done. It's, again, a question of arguing the point, it seems, that their timelines are bad, the way they arrived at their evidences was faulty or the president's power supersede any and all barriers to him being an innocent man that seems that's going to be their take right so they know he's they know he did all the things that they say

he did their point is it doesn't matter that's not a crime yeah they'll just like it would be about framing right so like their attorneys would be like well, we don't want to present it this way because that makes you appear guilty. But if we frame it this way as though it's meaningless and silly and every president does this and it's, you know, that's the angle we'll take. And like I imagine it's much more like that where public relations wise, for sure. But I don't know what it's going to be like legally because I don't know what the next steps are for him. for sure, but I don't know what it's going to be like legally, because I don't know what the next steps are for him. I don't know, but I know what the next steps are for

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Excellent quality products. So these guys. Taylor was telling me about that before the show. I was telling you guys about this company before the show so they make HHC Delta 8, Delta 10, all that stuff they also have a bunch of gummies with like

Vitality helping mushrooms and all that they have which is good for Woody, like 25 milligram gummies, something much more comfortable that I told him to send you some of thank you uh what he has i haven't received them yet but it's being shipped out to all three of us is their most powerful lines of products they're sending them to you too and the one of them is

i wrote it down because it's so funny it's called the clusterf fuck and it is a piece it is a piece of like nerd rope like a little chunk of it that has 300 milligrams of delta-8 in it 300 and so that whole fucking worm dude be they they have a uh so that's the chunks they have a full worm that's 1,250 milligrams of THC, of Delta-8. Now, Kyle, I know you've told me before 300 milligrams. Sometimes that doesn't get you where you need to go. Well, that's Delta-8. They also have a 300 milligram HHC gummy, which is much stronger than Delta-8. Who's letting them dose them like this

and that i'm telling you irresponsibly powerful it's unbelievably powerful here's what happened to me last night maybe this happens to you if you take a pill every day or something i usually take a little gummy and it helps me go to bed cool i like it i'm not gonna just raw dog sleep like some sort of animal yeah like some so so i have a little gummy and i'm laying in bed and i'm like did i have a gummy i don't remember of course i have a memory of me downing it but was that from tonight was that from the night before i've been doing this every day i've been on this bottle for a while i'm not even sure i go up i pee and i'm doing like this or whatever and i'm like i just don't think i'm high edible didn't work tail as old as time right so i take a second one

oh a hundred milligrams kicks my ass i didn't get up till like 11 this morning and you woke up like oh i'm so tired jackie's getting me coffee in bed i was like i think i did take two a hundred kicks my ass this 300 1200 300 yeah that's insane they have like these the hhc they have the the 25 milligram the ones which are much more comfortable for people without a huge tolerance they also have the best tasting hhc carts which kyle referred to me as the best tasting hhc he's ever had it's very really did taste good i need a lot more they're sending you more and uh yeah i'm just saying just like like i've been taking these guys products for like the past month now because i know edibles i know thc

and so i want to make sure it's like as strong as they claim it is before we tell people to try it yeah this shit is as strong as they claim and so if you do decide to get the cluster fuck bag of 300 milligram a piece ones don't be a fool be smart with it if you are used to 300

milligrams of gas station trash do not take one of these to start start slow it's it's I'm gonna eat that whole fucking to 300 milligrams of gas station trash. Do not take one of these to start. Start slow. I'm going to eat that whole fucking gummy worm. Be smart. You know what? Have fun. You know what, Kyle?

I also like gummy worms. I'm going to boil that gummy worm until it turns into a weird concentrated sludge. Yes, snort it. But anyway, lots of fun products, carts, vapes, edibles, everything you can think of and a bunch of cool mushroom supplements over at pharaoh distro.com that is linked below pk 20 20 off check them out very high quality stuff and i look forward to getting the package of i don't i'm not no you know what i'm not gonna be a bitch i'm gonna take a whole one of the 300 milligrams

you're not even gonna do that of course not i'm a nibble and okay well then i won't either i don't even know what one milligram of their shit does you're both pussies i'm taking the whole thing as far as you know 300 deep yeah we roll deep it's like me and my diablo 4 character we roll in i don't have you guys tolerance man like i i one of those entire, the entire one of those like a hundred milligram Delta AIDS. And dude, I, I thought I was okay. And then like, I went to bed and I could tell like I was on the up. I'm like, Oh, time to go to sleep now.

And then I went to bed and going to bed didn't work. Cause like every fucking five minutes I would wake up. I'm like, my girlfriend's next to me, just trying to get me to breathe properly, just deep in, deep out. I'm just like, I was not having a good time, man. I took 100, this is a couple months ago, and I was laying on my bathroom floor,

just thankful that the tile was so cold. Oh, no. You build the tolerance up to it. i think i i always i started with a half a gummy and then just kept working my way up because you know after a while you just build this tolerance to it but luckily they're just little gummies and they're and they're they're great for you and some of the patreon hangout oh do you want to go first i was saying i know that saying, I know that you like dabs, so they offer HHC dabs there. So if you're a dabber, you can really get... I don't have a...

I don't want to get that paraphernalia. They sell pens and stuff there, too. All right, I'll look into it. You know what, I'll see if they'll send us one. I was doing dabs of Delta-8 stuff before, but the paraphernalia is a little bit much you know especially if you're dating and i already had to hide syringes so but you're also hiding your syringes yeah steroids

syringes like i would inject in my coffee table and you know the there might be a syringe on my coffee table if i haven't cleaned up that morning um and explain the burnt spoon though if you're doing dabs you got a propane torch and you're not gonna fuck around with one of those little butane things that takes forever i get a camper style like like propane torch and i'm heating up that fucking nail and there's there's a whole like there's the the the thing then the nail and the whole bong of course but then you've got the dabber thing and it's always sticky it hits so hard and so you take one big hit and you are fucked out of as high as you've ever been like all the symptoms of marijuana um

come come come upon you in like five seconds flat and like a huge punch in the face how long does it last like 45 minutes an hour and and that's low because of of like tolerance that i would build up but the first time you do it you'll be fucked for like three hours. If not more. I had a girlfriend do one for the first time. I don't want to tell weed horror stories. We want to sell gummy worms. We want to sell fun gummies and take them responsibly.

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You just took an edible from Farrah Distribution. You just took you just took something that's making you feel good. You took a big rip out of your freeze pipe. And what you want is to be able to have a big old load because it feels better to come when you're high. And it feels better to come when you're shooting a lot of cum, doesn't it? you're high and it feels better to come when you're shooting a lot of cum doesn't it code pka code jizz 10 off lock and load the premium premium ejaculation increasing supplement that's taking the world by storm purportedly and everyone can have it check it out uh you've been on the fence for a while someone sitting out there is going like i think i come enough uh no you don't no you don't don't come like a bitch i mean i hurt your feelings but you fucking suck at coming yeah i don't want you to feel bad but your friends texted me and they told me your your buddies told me we love john but he doesn't come enough and everybody at the glory hole is laughing

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Boom! Boom! My shit right there. I've been on the lock and load grind set for months now you actually you can't stop it's actually kind of addicting because once you run out you realize like oh shit i don't want to go back to normal life anymore i don't want to be a regular exactly run of the mill be an alpha male like brandon herrera telling the atf to suck his dick and take him lock and load all the time not only not only and the atf thinks they're good at it telling the atf you can't stop me not only that but i got all my friends on this shit too like i'm like dude you can't it's it's honestly hilarious especially when when I was single, dude. By God.

It's great. I saw a, it was some dude, like a big fitness channel. Someone linked me a video of this huge fitness channel, like millions of subs. And it was like him and a bunch of other fit guys, like in the beginning of the video about to do whatever challenge they were going to do. And they're like talking about supplements and organically lock and load came up or they're like do you take this and they're like no it's like dude it like makes you come more and i was like ah that's me and kyle did that dudes come more that's you're welcome for the way you dig there's not a woman on earth who's made more semen than kyle and i no one has created as well we're the heart out yeah the cum kings

of the american see i i just wish like when you die you have those like stat sheets like your kd ratio point you know time on the cup market oh wow i'm responsible for 87 gallons more cum than otherwise would have been. Damn, you could fill half an Olympic swimming pool with our contributions to the country. Damn. I want it measured in liters of jism. I hope that's how it's represented on the stat sheet. I hate the word jism.

I love the word jism. I know you do. You say it. You're the only person I hear say jism. That's a funny word. It's a funny word. You feel that word. You can almost taste it I hear say jism. That's a funny word. It's a funny word. You feel that word. You can almost taste it.

Not the jism, but the word. You can almost taste the jism. The way the word jism just kind of rolls off your tongue. It's a very bleachy tasting word, isn't it? It's got a smell, an odor. It does, it does. It's a word that

feels different depending on what you've been eating. We should get into the jism flavoring market. The jism flavoring market? I think pineapple's got that nailed down. Yeah, I was thinking if pineapple can affect how your juice tastes, then you can. It can, but you can get the effect without all the calories of pineapple juice right because it's basically all those pesky calories i need to move forward on

that on that product i think we can if we start making cum taste good there's dozens that has that has long been my kyle and i'll still be the testing i'm tired of getting old cum in the mail. I'm just going to eat my own. You know what? At first, I hated it, but the product works so damn good. I got to eat a lot of this. Guys, guys, guys.

I got it. I figured it all out. I'm not being stuff like, damn, are your teeth getting whiter? But that becomes your new fetish, though. And you're just like, eating your own cum, yeah. I mean, that would probably be a pretty good one to have like it's always there it's always there like you're you're really into eating your own cum and guess what go eat some cum man

and you know what you're burning the same amount of calories you're intaking so like it kind of checks out dude if you could really appeal to that group of people. I wish it took more caloric intake to produce cum. I think it doesn't take nearly as many calories as you think to make cum. It should. We're way too efficient making cum. I wish that ejaculating was a good thousand calorie burn. Yeah. I mean, it depends how hard you masturbate.

The lactic acid building up in your balls. God, masturbating is such a high risk reward. I don't know. When you give blood, your body has to reproduce all those red blood cells, right? How much energy does that take? I wish it took more.

It's not as much as you think. It's like in the hundreds of calories, not in the thousands. You're not taking much blood out, I think, when you give blood. Okay, well, that's not nothing. Yeah, that's a lot. Like 10% of my blood or something. I don't know, 15%.

Because I was always thinking, through the American whatnot, doing the really nice blood panels and shit like that. Before, I thought, oh my God, 17 vials of blood. That's so much fucking blood. Then I look up how much is in your body. I'm like, oh, I'm a bitch. This is all in my head. blood panels and shit like that before i thought like oh my god like 17 vials of blood like that's so much fucking blood and then i look up how much is in your body i'm like oh i'm a bitch like this is all in my head yeah when you donate i get i get fucking straight when they take it when like i had never given that the merrick panels like he's talking about they need a vial for everything and you've been sitting there for for like 15 20 seconds and he's been pulling and popping these

vials out of your arm. The needle's stuck in your arm and he keeps sticking vials to it. When he sticks it to it, the blood audibly makes a hissy splash noise against the other side of the vial. I can just hear psshh.

I'm like, dude, how many are you getting? Because I didn't know. He's like, 8 or 12 or something like that. It was crazy. I was like, dude, how many are you getting? Because I didn't know. He's like, 8 or 12 or something like that. It was crazy. I was like, alright, I'm going to go. I might pass out. I might pass out. I just had blood done like two weeks ago, three weeks ago, something like that. And I also just said,

fuck it, throw in a lead test in there too because I'm curious because I shoot a lot and I shoot a lot suppressed too. All that aerosolized lead all over everything. I'm just curious to see what my numbers are at would that go away over time i think yeah and i think there's some stuff you can take that kind of bonds with it or whatever that you can kind of like you know use your lead wipes and everything and like you you can get better so were you ready i just remember

it was supposed to take five days and it's been two and a half weeks and i finally called him yesterday and they were like oh yeah uh, we got a bad draw or whatever. And I'm just hoping that that doesn't mean that like, yeah, we got results back. But it was we were surprised like somebody with lead this high couldn't have walked into the building. So I'm going to get that redrawn and hopefully, you know, my kids are cripplingly retarded. I might add that, too. I remember two incidents. One, just dumping a giant belt out of a suppressed

300 blackout saw. It's just all going into my face. We were shooting for G4 or whatever. That stupid gaming TV channel. We had to do this all in one rip. I couldn't stop. It just fed that shit into my face for the whole belt. tears were pouring down my face when i turned around because it's

just going into my eyes that wasn't good but then i mostly escaped this one but when i was making that bowling ball mortar the base of it needs to be heavy and so we poured a lot of molten lead into the base of that upturned acetylene tank. And, you know, the other ends chopped off to make the mortar. And we had this big kettle of molten lead cooking on a propane cooker. And somebody had to pour it in. And when you pour it in, it goes and all that gas and vapor and I don't know, that lead goo is just coming out. And I was like, oh, God, this might be the most dangerous thing we've

actually ever done jeremy we uh come here a minute we did one earlier this year and it still hasn't fucking come out yet because we're just you know sometimes shit at that but uh we we shot 10 000 rounds from an ak in one day which is way harder than it sounds because it is just so fucking tedious because we're also like so we're getting the obviously the lead exposure shooting 10 000 rounds one day and it was all me so like my shoulder was destroyed but uh we were you know full auto just doing just mag after mag after mag and then after like three four hundred rounds a piece we would dunk it so now you're getting the water that's taking that you know lead with it that's aerosolizing and everything and then it started getting later in the day so

we were worried about you know the neighborhood and properties and such so we added a suppressor now that's getting dunked and blowing all that lead and shit back in your face after that like i remember blowing my nose and it was black and i'm like respirator for that i really should have you know that was one of those like you know you you know monday morning quarterback i'm like respirator for that i really should have you know that was one of those like you know you you know monday morning quarterback i'm like fuck i should have done that because like my jacket too was covered in soot like and just all sorts of nasty shit so i'm like yeah i did 5 000 rounds through a minigun with no air pro oh christ why dude did you forget him yeah once you start shooting you know it's a dollar around

you can't stop halfway we're filming i linked that shit up dude i wasn't gonna stop oh god dude i've done that accidentally i was about to ask if you'd ever i was about to ask if you ever linked 5 000 rounds but yeah you have i bet your mag preloads got better after 10 000 rounds what's funny is i was doing the the quick reloads where you just take the the magazine and just hit them on the back right uh the rocking forward of the magazine apparently was hitting the hand guard and it happened so much that it carved a rut in the front lower hander because it just the metal magazine kept smacking it i was wondering i'm like what the fuck was hitting here and then i

realized this is the reloads aka worked after 10 000 how what was the accuracy like uh we didn't do an accuracy test after that we still can uh i still have the gun i'd love to know it's fine we we ended up calling it at like 6900 nice but we uh oh god i'm spoiling this video whatever the fuck uh it whatever but oh i didn't know it was like i thought i didn't know it was brand new 6900. Nice. But we... Oh, God, I'm spoiling this video. Whatever. Fuck. Whatever. Oh, I didn't know it was like... I didn't know it was brand new. No, no, we haven't released it yet, but yeah, we called it after a while. Go watch this video to find out what happens.

I don't know when this fucking thing's coming out, dude. It was a good video, and we... Well, it should be a good video anyway, but it's... I think it was just getting too hot. And we were just... it would have kept going like we ran it through an ultrasonic and like it runs fine now but i said i bet you've done something like this before but i set out to shoot that tree down one time with a 12 gauge and then quickly

realized that i'd set out to do something really hard and it was it just it's like man i really have gotten ahead of myself i'm i'm rounds in, and man, this hurts. This hurts so – and I got two guys loading mags behind me, and it's going as fast as I can, and it doesn't matter. It's just pounding the shit out of me, especially that piece of shit I was shooting. What was it, if you remember? It was this semi-automatic mag-fed shotgun that kind of looked like an old-school old school M 16 with like the MK 1919 or something. That's exactly what it is.

Yeah. I had the, the, I, I don't know if they, they were custom made cause they had like fucking laser engraving on them, but these 10 round mags for it. And I ended up painting it like,

like all the wall colors. So it looked like a fucking DeWalt, a screw gun. Yeah. That's kind of, yeah. you can't be into guns anymore but you still have to be a weapon guy what do you pivot to hmm uh guns as in like legal definition of firearm firearms but you can't use firearms anymore not even flintlock ah damn because i was gonna go black powder because black powder is kind of fun nope um cannons Cannons, cannons work.

Those are kind of cool. Yeah, that's... Fuck, no. I would have... I mean, archery, like the nice, like three... They're like the $3,000 bows and shit like that. I don't have any skill in them, but I've shot them before, like buddies and whatnot.

And they're shot buddies bows, not shot buddies with them. But they're pretty fun. I would probably get into that. Those are kind of neat. Air guns are crazy. Air guns are wild still a gun yeah oh no you get around everything like flintlock not in this fucking question i made up there's some wild some wild air guns i don't know what the cutting edge of that shit is but just it like shoots through the years i remember seeing that thing that shot arrows is that what they're allowed to have in um did we talk to finn about that that he can have air guns do a lot of air guns over there you can have fins rich enough to have

real guns but in in the uk but well even then i don't they they're kind of limited like shotguns and hunting rifles right i think it rules't know. There's restrictions, I think, over there. Like there's something that people don't realize is in any country, pretty much, if you have enough money and connections, you can get whatever you want. You're just going to have to pay out the ass for it. Like, cause they just like, like when they film movies in the UK, those prop houses are using real guns.

A lot of the time they're're real machine guns that are blank adapted and whatnot. But there's some license that has to exist to let that be owned. Because there's an industry for it. There's a proper reason to possess those things. And then I'm sure there's all sorts of antiquity laws

and collection clauses and such over there so that rich folks can just have their fancy shotguns. I mean, they have that fox hunt all the time. Where are those guys getting their guns? They're just, yeah, you're right. I imagine fox hunting is for very rich people, right? I would imagine that's how

it's always been displayed because I see those people trying to break the fox hunt up for the good of the fox. Yes, I do kind of. I don't like when you have an animal captured and then we're going to let... That fox is a notorious rapist.

He's known across the fox world. You can't keep getting away with it. He's the fucking Harvey Foxstein. He's abusing all of these foxes. Why would you want to kill a jewish fox oh well he's a he's a molester fox oh look at you with your with your affirmative action now looking at looking at the non-action huh yeah i don't care for that no i think foxes are fine to

be killed they what do they add to the what do they bring to the table they're cute as fuck i mean they're cute yeah they're like little little squeaky dogs i don't think the foxes they're killing are that cute though they're kind of ugly foxes right they're pretty orange foxes aren't they don't they like isn't it a trophy to be had once it once it's over okay well that's what they're doing i don't really like it because they're not eating it right really i guess that's why nobody eats fox i know but that's my actual opinion on hunting is like i don't give a fuck as long as you're eating it but when you see when you stop eating it it's kind of like you have to i'll make an exception to hogs like because hogs especially out here uh those are a problem like those are like could you eat them if you wanted yeah and i have like i've done like

i've done the fox hunt or that's not excuse me the the hog hunts were like you you run dogs but you kill them with a fucking knife so you actually have to like pin this thing fucking down like stab at the heart but out here we do like night vision shit and whatnot like just middle of the night just go out and just it's like pest control or because these pigs will fuck up they'll fuck up uh like crops livestock if they get into like neighborhoods they'll gore dogs like it's pretty It's like pest control because these pigs will fuck up. They'll fuck up crops, livestock. If they get into neighborhoods, they'll gore dogs. It's pretty rough out here. I owe Jay Simpson to hog over in Houston one night.

You got away with it. Yeah, I did get away with it. I sawed its head off of the pocket. I jumped on its back. It was super hardcore. It sawed its head off of the pocket. You were there for two hours. No, it didn't take long.

I stabbed it up first. It had been shot in the leg, to fair i had to so we catch this yeah you were hacking that like a hog spine with a no no i wasn't trying to take its head off i was trying i saw it from the bottom up until you know all that was gone because i didn't know how to kill it and i was afraid it was gonna it already bit me on the like inner thigh and uh and when i took my pants off later like a little bit but i had this massive black and blue bruise where it like chomped down on me this guy was being a bitch he was the one there to make a video he was making his gator show shit and he i was like i was like you know what man you know what gator would do in a situation like this he wouldn't use no gun gator go in there hand to hand

hand to snout and at first he was down but then as soon as the thing made a noise and sort of like charged a little and he was like fuck this so he he noped out it's lame that was a fun video though good for you for being brave murdering that yeah how big was the knife it was not big enough oh god yeah it's not big enough it was like i don't know three or four inch blade i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure i could tell this story so when we when we went it was me um donut and scott from kentucky ballistics we all went down uh to do the same like knife hunt and uh when i got mine you know i got it was like 250 pounder or something like that 250 300 pounds something like that so stabbed it died pretty quick like because if you get right in the heart like under the armpit uh it's that nice good red chunky blood you can tell you get that

arterial blood so like it bleeds out very quick and it's you know it's relatively speaking when you're talking about hunting like pretty quick way to kill the animal yeah cody when he got to his um yeah see it was a big motherfucker this was like an angry one that they were like oh yeah that one i'm glad we're killing that one that dude's a piece of shit like he's an angry man yeah yeah like the the guys who were running like the reserve or whatever like knew that one they fucking hated him like he had taken a shotgun yeah it was a buckshot in his fucking shoulder and those little armor pads when the scarred veteran took apart but uh yeah he jumped on there and went to stab it

and i'm recording him too because like for for his video stuff and he just keeps stabbing it in the same place and the knife is just barely not long enough to get to the heart so after like a minute oh just him like stabbing this thing it's squealing there's blood everywhere i'm just like with the camera like oh like like a sharpened that's what scott did that's what scott did with my camera i i'm still mad about it so he like he like prison shanked him like like 15 quick stabs for the shell oh it was way more than 15 like he was trying to sit in there trying to twist and find like something that would bleed eventually the fucker died but like it was it took a it took

a little minute this guy a thousand cuts quite too angry to die yeah i i uh i didn't know they did that that's pretty cool i i've heard of people using lances and i always pictured like a pretty like a really cool modern spear like an eight foot six foot spear but going in with a knife is even cooler although i usually knives that are meant to i don't know kill a pig or what you would think of is like um what do you call that shit that like mall cops use like like ninja like that mall no yeah yeah i mean like the cat like like mall ninja shit oh yeah you know like like but you'd actually want a knife that was meant to like stab like a dagger or something, I guess.

Yeah, it was a big-ass bowie knife. Oh, well, never mind. Jesus Christ. You know what you could use for that? Get one of those shark knives where you stab and then you hit the button and it kills it. The CO2 or whatever? Yeah, you could probably kill the hog very humanely

with that. Or it would just be messy as fuck just sprays everywhere just chunks of pig you ever use tan right in hogs no but i fucking want to yeah just you know don't film that part though because you get you know you'd want to spice it up a little bit for them um and and then you you know break some rules and stuff or maybe but um but then you can make it real effective against them i've heard stories of people having a food trough that they've been regularly going to and then one night that rope that strung across isn't a rope anymore it's deck cord that rope that they've been sticking their heads up under and it's on

the back of all of their necks down the line is deck cord and they that's rad i've heard of um pretty good idea you know how you know when you buy barbed wire how it comes in a big spool with a hollow center that's all i have to say about that yeah at what point we had one of those spools of, uh, of deck cord that we, we ran out, we were doing like a demo course or whatever. And we just, just blew up 500 meters of a debt cord in a straight line just to see what would happen.

You can see it as it turns out. What happens is he set a lot of grass on fire. That was, um, yeah, we had to do a lot of stuff. How much does that debt cord actually explode like if how how close would you have to be standing next to the cord exploding to get hurt so we we were

okay yeah i'd probably say this we're taking bets um saying that if you had like a good cup or something like that and the debt cord is laid out on the ground, if you stood over it, like an arch like that, you'd probably be okay. Oh, I agree with that. I agree with that.

Like not strong. Like it would probably be stopped by a plastic cup. So what, what it really is, is it's, it's like an ignition charge for other explosives. So if you're putting like C10 data sheet, C4,

uh, comp B, whatever the fuck, uh, you know, pick your poison. It blasting or the det cord explodes at such a velocity that it will set off other high grade explosives. So people use it a lot for that, but it will fuck you up.

Like if you're holding det cord while it goes off, your hand is gone. You can wrap it around and around a thing you want to cut in half. Yeah, it really needs contact with something. I mean, it doesn't need it it but like that'll make it work okay so but out on the ground it would provide this really cool visual effect where it burns at some obscene speed like some but if you weren't touching it and you're like holding your hands like this like a foot away it wouldn't burn you or anything no not burn you it's gonna spray gravel at you but not not at a speed that's gonna go through you or anything it's not as scary as i thought it was it's not gonna kill you um small doses and

it comes in different like you can get some that's it'll be itty bitty and then you get um the biggest debt cord is those mine clearing charges that they shoot across right it's this big rope of of shit i they're filling up um like old tanks like t-34s, I think, with that shit. Like 100 meters of that shit that's this big. It's like, think the velvet rope at the movies, but dead core. And then they send it toward the Ukrainian lines as like a drone. Not as a drone, but just go that way, rig it up, and then it's a colossal explosion whenever it goes off. Just the dead core to blow it up?

The whole thing is is it's so again it's it's like velvet rope big it's so much explosive and they didn't just put a little in there they put as much as a tank was physically capable of holding along with like bombs like actual bomb bombs and then i saw one go off and it looked like you could tell it was it was different it was a different kind of explosion the shock wave would have a good use of it ruined anybody within 100 meters it's like 10 or 20 feet either side the dirt is just noticeably just for the sound rather i feel like that's a waste of a tank like you could do that in a chevy you could do that in a van you could do like the tank don't waste small arms you stop a chevy with small arms and then if you rig a chevy to go

straight in a field you know it goes off it gets stuck a tank will just go through anything and they can't stop it unless they hit with an anti-tank weapon stop a chevy with big arms no weapons at all it just stops occasionally yeah deck or does no no i was joking about ford like my raptor my motor just blew up randomly one day that was oh no the 60 twin turbo thing yeah i was i had i was i was only like 60 000 miles on this damn thing and i was like an hour i was actually on my way back from drive tanks and uvalde and uh yeah i was in the middle of fucking nowhere uh on that highway like it's like an hour from civilization and my motor just took a shit on

me well at least it's not a super nice car yeah it was it was like an hour from it yeah i had to i just sat and like fucking reclined my seat and waited to be picked up and just like okay i guess i'll catch up on narcos catch up on that sucks though what was wrong with it uh through a cylinder or some shit like that. I had to get the entire motor replaced. Warranty? Nope. What does that cost?

Let's guess. Hang on. We guess. We guess on these. Okay. Okay. All right. So we're going to count installation.

Did you get it done at a dealership? Yeah. Yeah. Dealership took care of all of it. Nothing was covered. So it was all out of pocket. Okay. I'm going to call this...

$75,000 truck. was covered so it was all out okay i'm going to call this seventy five thousand dollar truck i i think this may have cost shit a new engine ten thousand dollars i'm gonna say ten thousand dollars i'm gonna say ten i want to say twelve i was gonna say twelve five hundred it was almost on the dot at like 12 13 okay yeah which actually believe it or not was less than i thought it was what he stole my answer that's what i was going to say i saw that's what i'm gonna do on the show now like every like you remember those kids in school who'd be like i was gonna say that like like it's anytime someone says something right. You stole that. Raptor's cool though. It's neat. They get broken into so much

because the door issue and whatnot, especially around San Antonio, like in Texas. You don't have a problem really with break-ins or muggings or anything because everybody here's got a fucking gun. You know if you break into a house, there's probably a gun. But the

vehicular crime, especially in the nicer like mall parking lots and stuff like that like the vehicular crime is insane you should choose your victim based on if they're liberal like just subaru outbacks exclusively well the problem with the raptors is they they think like the the person's gone and there's probably a gun in it which i don't leave guns in my fucking cars for that exact reason. Yeah. They get a lot of guns, man. I've heard that if you put Glock or Sig Sauer stickers on your car or something, that that's just an

advertisement that there's expensive toys in here. I know when I see that thing on the back of the car with a bunch of little kids, I know. Easy pickings. Yeah, I'm going to get all their games. I'm going to steal all their consoles.

Gushers, Fruit by the Foot. There's like six kids on that bumper sticker. Do you know how many iPads there are? If I see a bumper sticker with like four or five kids, I know that mom puts out. You know. And you know she doesn't need protection either. She's a trooper.

She's firing at kids. There's a chick who raw dogs. See, that chick fucking hates abortion. She couldn't be talked into it for any reason in the world. She hates it. All right, now you're losing me. Well, you should know she hates it when you see the seven children on the back. Is abortion legal in Texasxas still what they

do to you guys there so yeah because i know like after roe v wade everything kind of went back to uh oh yeah every every um every everybody kind of like every state kind of went back to like being able to decide on their own because like you know it was no longer a federal thing. Texas, I think, it's still legal up until a point. I don't remember exactly where that point is. That's what we got going on. Yeah, everybody's like, oh, wow, they've gone as far

as banning Plan B. It's like, no, nobody's really advocating for that. I'm seeing abortions banned in Texas. At what? What kind? by a six shooter the six shooter abortion has been banned in texas because of too many mother's deaths no one knows how to feel about it here's a different source that says it's banned up until cardiac activity is detected which is six weeks into the pregnancy, which is way sooner than it sounds.

I didn't realize. I thought six weeks into the pregnancy was six weeks after I blew that load. It's not. It's from like the period before. They start the pregnancy before she even had sex. So it's like three or four weeks after sex is six weeks into the pregnancy. They count from the first period but yeah the count from the period of the previous egg so is it also is it like the gestation periods twice

there's eight periods in a week yes but i don't know how they do it taylor's right um it goes off the previous period start date. End date, maybe. I could be wrong. I'm not sure. Who's checking that? Can't the woman just say it was this date? Well, in Texas, they go by... Search for the heartbeat. In Texas, they go by the heartbeat, but that's about six weeks into pregnancy, which is about

four weeks after sex. You better hope your doctor's hard of hearing. If they're going by heartbeat, it wouldn't matter the time period it wouldn't right texas in texas it doesn't other states go by time not cardiac activity okay i don't know what missouri's doing probably something awesome we have the best weed laws the best gun laws the coolest state don't move here i think uh i i think we did to do the six week thing here but uh you know either way i would just travel out of state i think what would what would be troublesome um and i wouldn't like at all as if there was any sort of law against

leaving your state to seek an abortion elsewhere they can't do that well they can't prohibit you from traveling they're starting to do that now texas is after people who travel that shit's not gonna fly they are not gonna get that it'll get tested in courts i don't i know the answer it but i'm kind of in the same way like even taking like the the like the the liberal conservative argument out of it just constitutionally i'm i'm not sure what the courts would determine on that. It used to be illegal. It's illegal to transport women from state to state for illegal purposes.

That's true. For immoral purposes, pardon me. What does the word immoral mean, Taylor? Whatever the person who wrote that law means. That's right, Judge Taylor. It's up to you what the word immoral means. You're going to watch Chicago Black blackhawks game you're going to jail whoa is that a patrick kane jersey straight right in with the pedophile abortion laws are strict it has to

be a medical emergency oh okay that's the it is i can't describe an unwanted pregnancy any better than a medical emergency. If we don't do something, she'll have a baby. I mean, it could quickly become a different kind of emergency. Yeah, but that shouldn't be... I didn't mean how that sounded. I don't know what we're doing here. You don't know that because of the implication.

I'm not doing anything. Is it illegal to go into another state and buy weed? No. So you can't be illegal to go there and enjoy in other states, right? Like that's kind of the whole thing we're doing here, right? Counterpoint, if you come here from South Korea, again, another state, another country. But if you come here from South Korea, a place where it's legal to smoke weed, smoke weed, go back, fail your drug test. It is a crime.

You're going to jail because you smoked weed here. You're not allowed to do that. Yeah, but that's kind of fucking crazy. That's true. Crazy. Like there is lame because you can do that. Like you can do that state to state in the U.S. I'm sure. Absolutely. Yeah. You just can't bring your shit back with you. They don't care for that.

I will say that is the one cool thing about this whole like abortion thing in Texas is that it's slowing the just tidal wave of Californians moving to Austin and places like that, which is kind of nice. So it's like out of anything, I'm like, man, I don't know if I necessarily have the strongest opinions on that one. But like, hey, at least it's keeping the Californians away. Do you live anywhere near where Joe Rogan has that comedy club? About an hour and a half. Is that interesting to you at all or like not your thing?

Yeah, yeah. No, I've actually been meaning to go down there like i've i've like a one night stand relationship with austin like i would never live there but they get a lot of like cool shows and music and shit like that so i'll go down for like a night once a month or something like that just kind of enjoy it yeah joe rogan's cool he's gonna he's gonna hook up louis with a bunch of spots oh that's that's rad yeah the the unc uncanceling of Louis has been really cool. Yeah, Louis is hilarious. Is he cool? Yeah, if Joe Rogan's cool, he's going to be hooking up Louis, getting him back in the mix.

I'm probably wrong. I'm probably behind the times. I bet Louis is already playing big places and whatnot. He's hugely popular. I don't know. He does his stuff on his website right though like he he was the first dude to do that super effectively like the he was really the first guy who was like do you guys recall when he released his special online and was like hey

i'm really banking on people being honest and paying five dollars for this special this is a huge risk for me i know you could all steal it, but please don't. And he made oodles of money. It was pretty clever. You said it was $5. He just recommended like, he's like, look, you pay what you think you can. You can buy it for $1.

I hope you pay $5. You can buy it for $10. And a lot of people did. And a lot of people paid the five when they could have paid one but he's never been my uh my brand of comedy at all he it's not his all sort of he uh he was an old man when he started it felt like he was already like a man beaten down by life 2008 do that like none of it's happy it's it's all sad and sort of angry in a sad kind of way it's not even that sort of angry like i'm

gonna yell at the fucking stupid shit and and be angry with it you join me and maybe we get rid of it yeah it's like we're we've all already lost the moment we were born type shit like like we're in a we're pod people just moving it's all sad he's very self-deprecating and i like i like self-deprecating humor it's it's funny i think he does a good job i old louis is hilarious like his specials from like 2008 i want to say is tremendous the comedian i really want is bill burr post-divorce that will be i've been calling for that for a long time i think so yeah bill burr when he gets divorced and starts hating women again, it's comedy genius. You just got to get him fired off.

NBA question, Woody. This Zion Williams guy. Zion Williams is an off-season MVP. So let me tell you guys what I know as a person who despises the game of basketball more than I do, like, I don't know, Hitler. Yeah. I didn't say it much.

It's understandable. Yeah. You know, basketball sucks. People never play basketball. That's the best thing about it. like i don't know hitler yeah i didn't say in much because understandable yeah you know basketball sucks like people never play basketball that's the best thing about it hey i never liked learning about basketball okay i'm just saying not a bit you know i don't have any i don't have a room full of basketball memorabilia i didn't yeah i didn't watch countless history channel documentaries on the basketball uh wars what what what if the first time I travel internationally, it's just to visit the various Holocaust sites?

Like I'm at Auschwitz and all those other places. And then I go to- You have like a shirt on. I visited Auschwitz and all I got was this Lassie t-shirt. But then it's like a little dog whistle. Then I go to New Zealand. I'm like, oh, I'm this week on my fantasy vacations. I'm going to Mordor.

No, do you know what would be genuinely hilarious is if you go to like Dachau and all that and like you are smiling ear to ear and then you go to like a Holocaust museum and you're like frowning. This NBA blue balling is cruelty. Next show, I'm going to be like, Kyle kyle i gotta talk to you about this episode of jean-luc picard if you give me 20 minutes of jean-luc picard i will all right back to basketball so this guy

here's my basketball haters outside view of what's going on this is iron williams guy apparently taylor he is this he's a pretty good basketball player okay and uh he's he on the off the court which is all i care about he's been fucking this uh this this porn star like a black chick who's just like really ridiculously built um looks like there's lots of implants but yeah like real professional basketball players fucking that's interesting and and since we've never called that so i guess they break it off because he's got a steady squeeze he's getting married engaged maybe he's having kids he's with somebody else yeah he's with somebody else and they're making it a real thing now she goes off on twitter daily fuck you zion with zion williams i let you come in my pussy

25 fucking times we got you got crazy videos of videos of me sucking your dick on your trap phone. I don't even miss that big dick anyway since you got fat. She's like, it was so hard to pretend I was coming. You were so fat. So she's just being mean to this poor gentleman. And he's still an athlete, right? He's still a's still a professional athlete yeah oh what do we got here read these for us taylor from the top i warned you about trapping type hose zion williamson and you didn't listen to me i know the game fuck you and congrats again the bill is too high so you had to scrap for crumbs when you

couldn't see me or I was busy. Next tweet. You put my life in danger. Fucking all these hoes raw. A lot of crying faces. I let you fuck me so many times without condom, and this is what you do me? A hood rap that does CPN? Vomit emoji, cry emoji. CPN.

I was with you last. I don't know what that means either. I was with you last week in New Orleans, and you couldn't tell me you had a random thought pregnant after all i've done for you zion better pray i'm not pregnant too because i'm definitely late okay that that was that see that you can see that was the funniest one i got you know i don't think she's being entirely honest about this guy i think she has a grudge i don't think we can trust this woman's word about zion williamson zach can you pull up the picture of her latest tattoo

yeah woody could you explain what uh cpn is please uh certified pack ninja i still don't know what that means i don't i don't know that one either oh as in package basically a black guy who's good at sex good at fucking you know i thought you have a gun on you okay i remember reading these two weeks ago and like making it a game for myself to work out what cpn it was with only context clues and i just assumed they were in atlanta and she was saying college park ninjas because college parks is part of Atlanta where there's a lot of black people and I convinced myself that's what it was

I bet you're right Zach are you looking for her new tattoo? I bet you're right I'm going to go on your side her new tattoo is great oh Zion right there in her face no no no this isn't real it's real that was my first instinct.

It looks like it's being applied with a dildo, though. I was just looking at that. I've got that one. Apparently, she really got Zion tattooed on her face, as far as I know. Look at that. That's well done. Let's be real. No, it's not.

It's fucking terrible. It looks like a mustache migrated from her lip. Honestly, as a tattoo critiquer, all that fine line stuff won't age well. Yeah, and the face stuff. They're bad. I like it.

I might get the same tattoo. You're going to get Zion too? Yeah, I'm going to get that same tattoo. I like that look. I'm also sharing his baby. She should have gotten uh an avocado i think that would have looked better avocado would have been a better one solid yeah a little couple's tattoo he could have got the other i like exactly yeah um the baby mama could have gotten yeah dude you know so i'm a stats and stories fan and like some people might look at like jokic or something and be like, this guy's a really great player. But as a guy who follows the stories,

this idiot who missed like 60 games this year is the best player in the NBA. He's apparently has multiple chicks pregnant. He's marrying one. The porn star is upset. We follow sports so wildly differently. I have no idea what any player in the nhl is like in their personal life at all at all like i'm like did you see these angles you see mcdavid's fucking hands that's a sweet play and then it's like connor mcdavid speaks out about and i'm like

nah i don't fucking care i don't care unless it's about how he got his dangles so smooth and silky i don't want to hear it his there is a game so dangles is when you you move the puck back and forth with your stick like stick handling very quickly very very buttery very smooth i put yeah like you're playing keep away right i bring the ball close to you i pull it away at the last second when you tried to reach out for it you fool that's a Hey, there's nothing wrong with appreciating a man. Smooth dangle, man. Yeah.

There's no reason not to. He's got smooth dangles. He's got fantastic dangles. That's it. I, you need a porn star to let you know what his dangles really like. Apparently Zion, not,

not does he ever reply? No, he hasn't replied, which has been a good move at first. It looked kind of weak and low. And now she just keeps pushing and pushing and pushing. And she's the one who looks sort of desperate, which has been a good move. At first, it looked kind of weak and low, and now she just keeps pushing and pushing and pushing, and she's the one who looks sort of desperate, which she is.

Where did you get desperation? Was it the face? It's subtle. It's subtle, but I saw it. It was the 70 tweet chain and the pink colored tattoo, a pink tattoo on your face. As far as in-game stuff, I still like the stories. So this is going to be 80% right,

as is typical of me telling any sports thing. Zion's team got bounced out, I think, by the Suns two years ago. And Zion was injured, as he always is, on the bench watching it happen. This last regular season, he's up against the Suns again. And to him, he's like, you bounced my team while I was hurt. Well, motherfucker, now I'm not. Now I'm here. And he just wrecked the Suns under his leadership.

He led every player in scoring and he just crushed it. And he was the super version of him. And he broke this rule in basketball where you don't dunk it when you're up by like 18 with three seconds left but that's exactly what he did and everybody is like bro you can't do that that's disrespectful and he's like i was sending a message did you get it and i'm like yeah fuck yeah i got it i fucking love it this is a stats and stories player kind of play. Guys dunking it when the game's over.

Just an in your face. I like it. Yeah. I like how, you know, in hockey, how they bring it to one another with fist fighting. I like that too. It's so fun. Just having a sport where like, no, I know I won't from you. That's the coolest fucking thing about hockey

let me ask you i love it but like the fact that there's a game happening where you're moving faster than any other game the projectile is so hard and moving so fast and then the only way to mitigate the danger of some guy deciding he's going to skate 30 miles an hour at you and kill you is like well we got to let you blow off steam and fight like you have to or if you got rid of fighting in hockey there'd be infinitely more injuries. If you run me like that, then you have to deal with my friend who's going to make you pay for it. Like, you're going to lose a tooth. Yeah, you get it entirely because you play hockey.

People think that fighting adds injuries. It deletes injuries. Yeah, so what you're saying is that the sport is so poorly either officiated or the rules are so vaguely laid out that it requires the players to be the enforcers of safety. The staff, the stadium, the referees, the announcers, the coaches, they cannot guarantee your safety. They cannot. No, they can't guarantee it.

So imagine if in the NFL, a player could go 32 miles an hour into the back of another player. Do they really go that fast? They go fucking quick. I'll tell you one thing. I've never gone that fast on skates. 32? They're unbelievably fast.

Let's guess. You're a projectile. I mean, most of the time you don't get the chance to skate straight out in a game, obviously. What is the actual top speed of a hockey player, Taylor? What's the average speed? I mean, a runner is like, what, high 20s? So I would guess. Oh, low 20s?

Well, then probably high 20s. I bet you've seen bolts like 27 or 28 miles an hour. There's no way that players get going higher than like 29 miles an hour or something like that. Oh, my food is. I don't know. I was taking that as like an argument to add fighting to every other sport which i'm here for you know basketball football anything like that you could just start grappling your opponent that would i would watch it

i think we got to have some semblance of civility at some point in sportsmanship that was the whole point uh i like hockey i guess but i only I only like it because it's silly to me. I think the idea that you have a sport that isn't about fighting that suddenly just has players beat the shit out of each other because they don't like how they played the game is a little wild. Well, it's how Canadians get their aggression out because, I mean, they clearly don't get it out any other way. It's rough up in Canada.

Every now and then I'll pop on the conservative subreddit, just our conservative. And I'll see some crazy story from Canada. They're either they're usually either hitting them, hitting them with the euthanasia stuff, the gun stuff or the race stuff. And it's always some extra left wing stuff. And I think we could get a real preview of sort of things to come. If we don't have some conservatives, I guess in power here or they hit him with the Trudeau is Castro's son thing. Yeah. I don't,

I don't know about all that. You know, I don't know about all that. That's, that's, that's silly. And I don't, I don't know either,

but it is one of my favorite conspiracy theories because whether or not it's true, it's still very funny to me. It is. It is really funny. He looks a bit like him as well yeah and then the whole thing about his mom being like interning in cuba with castro and like having pictures together charismatic guy i mean i would fuck him um and then uh just like that yeah he's too short remember when he did brown face like that wasn't even

that bad i don't like when they dig up these pictures of dudes and like dressed up at halloween um i mean i guess it was in the last five years or something yeah sometimes i wonder like the photo has this horrible offense from when he was 19. ah do we let that go what do you what can you let go if it's long enough? I don't know. What do you let go, though? Like, I bet. Necrophilia.

Necrophilia is a... What's happening? A victimless crime. Tell the story. You saw the Reddit. Did you see the Reddit article? I think so. Is it the one about the husband?

Yes. What are we debating I actually have it pulled up I was actually going to bring this up A Husband and wife are married Dude's 36 she's 33 And he thinks he's not obligated to tell

His wife about his criminal record And she found out that What his criminal record is is necrophilia A victimless crime that she needs to get over damn that's upsetting to find out what do you do what's step one well what's that i'm not a alive step one is apply lube because the corpses cannot self lubricate i'm still not 100 on board with the idea that this is entirely a victimless crime. It's, you know, body desecration

and I'm sure the family doesn't love it. That's, you know, that's up to the family. It's true. It's their choice, frankly, but... No, it's absolutely their choice. Bodies don't have rights. Yeah, they do. No, they don't. You can't just go dig up bodies.

Is it a right if you can't defend it? Dude, honestly, the biggest necrophilia, there are victims in that crime because now we have to live around necrophiles. You think that they are just atomized in their necrophilia and that's not bleeding out into their job at Chipotle

touching your burrito ingredients? That's disgusting. Those hands were fucking a corpse eight hours ago. Those hands are covered with formaldehyde you're fine yes no no it's more sanitary than it would be if a regular guy made it i think i just found my line rarely happens yeah dude i don't want to come off as a bitch but i'm gonna say i don't like it i'm gonna say two thumbs down for it i think it's pretty gross this guy is not a cool guy of the week yeah i lay out a scenario playing devil's advocate for the necrophile i would love you to because because i just think you know there's a lot of those rap sheets that look real bad but

somebody did something silly when they were young. For example, you know, maybe you got somebody had to take a leak because they're drunk and they don't know they're in a school zone because they stumbled a block away from the bar. And now there's some sort of a kiddie diddler as far as paperwork is concerned. Maybe this guy was pulling some sort of a prank. And he accidentally fucked a corpse. No, he didn't. He didn't.

He didn't make love to a corpse. What he did was he was like, you know, maybe he worked in a corpse you know he didn't he didn't he didn't make love to a corpse what he did was he was like you know maybe he worked in a place where there were bodies and stuff and he was just like hey what if i stuck my dick in it was like ah and like put in a guy's mouth one time just sort of like slap the butt what if he slapped is this necrophilia what if he was in a medical lab ladies laying there big titties and he just and he's like slap the titty with his dick that would he get convicted for necrophilia? Yeah, still fucked up. I get what you're saying on that one, though.

As the wife, I would feel a little bit better about that, but I'm not sure under the eyes of the law that's necessarily. Taylor, I get that you're coming out hard against necrophilia. You know the bodies aren't fat. Oh, okay. No, I was going to say that Kyle These are hot corpses. Kyle, there's hot singles in your area.

They're just... Technically, they're cold. Cold singles in your area. That's good. They got fucking ghoulish makeup on. Can't get a handjob because they're all fucking splayed and hard

now taylor have you downloaded shiver shiver is that where i find the best dead bodies to fuck right yeah it's a it's a crowd sharing app where you share can you imagine showing up at a yeah we got a fresh one down at johnson creek everybody get down here you show up at a gravestone with a shovel and there's three other guys there one's got a pickaxe and a fucking miner's hat with the light on it you know what would be a good way to rob graves is if you dress up as though you're from the past so you dress up like you're from the 1500s and then you're robbing a grave people think you are a ghost you can't rob a grave. People think you are a ghost. You can't rob a grave in modern attire, idiot.

Flawless plan. I think cops will shoot you if you're a ghost or not. Does rigor mortis make a pussy tight is part of my Google search history. I don't even want to know. I don't care if I get the answer. I don't care for this sort of tawdry humor.

I feel like Woody went one step too far, and I'm just offended now. You know what I was saying? 20 seconds ago, we were talking about playing Hot Pocket with a cadaver. Brandon, I am aghast. I am aghast at this display. We like to think of ourselves as kind of NPR adjacent.

Do you think... I mean, it's got to be a criminal offense to, like, grope a corpse. No, I would... Actually, yeah. Yeah, there's no... You want to, like, have a wide brush for people who like to do things with corpses. Because it's frowned upon. Fine.

It's gross. Look, I'm not trying to... They're going to get a disease and then bring it to the rest of us. They're going to get something like a corpse disease. LGBTQT in, okay? Like, it's happening. So wake up.

They're here. They're queer. They're coming for your kids. They're coming for your grandparents. Bring out your young and your old. The LGBTQN is here. Well, they want to...

I just saw you at the end. I slipped back. We're coming for your kids and you're dearly departed. We got you at both ends of life. Who is it? LGB? That's just the the first three being gay bisexual i know they're trying to get a divorce from the rest of the letters

yeah ltg well like he was lgb lgb right i think you're right i think the g is first that's also not fair why did the gays get preference over the buys the buys do all the things the gays do and more i i hear you i but i i like now we're throwing on some t's some q's and we just put an n on there for some reason the necrophiles lgb is gonna want to get what it really comes down to is you cannot have an an acronym with fucking eight letters like that. Once you get past four, it gets bad. Like the NAACP is only able to do it because they have two A's. And so it kind of goes through.

Like if it were the NAW. I like where your head is, but I don't fully lined up. The problem isn't too many letters. It's not enough vowels. If they were like the LAPDA group with a good seven letters, I could work with that. They had something like NAMBLA. NAMBLA.

That's a solid acronym. They figured... Is that the North American Man-Boy Love Association? They cracked the code on good marketing. I like that they wanted to separate themselves from those foul european man boy lovers and their disgusting ways uh sure we like this too but we're not french

used to being greek yeah i will not be accused of being french when i'm sitting outside of a middle school binoculars that's one of my that's one of my one of my favorite 300 is where like well the boy lovers in athens it's like uh you guys kind of did a little bit of that too man yeah they did i think and i don't think it was near i i can't imagine that in athens they were like oh ha ha democracy let's molest children like there's no way it was that common this whole thing of like it was all the time there's no way societies don't last when there's fucking rampant pedophilia all the time i don't know how to tell you this but they didn't they didn't they never did that i mean they didn't last oh everything comes to an end but like you know that's where we start what is it about pedophilia

that makes you think a society can't last with yeah i think that every society's lasted with it no i'm saying if it the idea of the greeks encouraging it is like what people hear about and like you can't have a society where you're encouraging like fucking up children for life i think they develop into here's my take on it a society will thrive if it's productive and has the right balance of guns versus butter right it needs to be able to protect itself but don't you're not familiar with guns versus butter when a government does spending it has to determine whether or not it does butter which is all like infrastructure social programs health care all the things that sort of are non-military that a government might invest in education and then there are guns which is

military and you need to balance that correctly if you only have a strong military and the rest of your country sucks then your economy is going to fucking blow and and you won't thrive with a long term if you only do butter and you can probably do this in civ where like you're playing what is it called civ city or something like that when um sim city yeah maybe it is called that there's like a term for playing civilizations where you don't be like let's not go to war for the first 300 years yeah build up oh that's sim city okay um but that is not a good practice to have your society thrive either because you haven't invested anything in the military and you're very vulnerable

so you need a good economy good productivity and the balance of guns versus butter and fucking children doesn't weigh into that at all it no it adds to it it adds to it because they had that cohesive military unit where you started um you know i can't remember what the greek word was for your your your little boy lover but you'd be assigned one you'd be assigned one and you know these weren't you know it was like i don't think this happened it's absolutely happened you had these you had these older men i'm so sure and they sort of adopted you're familiar with the the big brother program it's just like that but we're in the military it would be like you you take a young cadet under your wing and and your ball sack and and he and look you're literally the whole state enforced homosexuality and i teach him how to handle a spear you know the biggest do you think they invented olive oil

for food taylor do you really think that yes they know olive oil they discovered they didn't discover that you could eat olive oil for 500 years after they started. The Greeks and Italians have olive colored skin before the olive oil. The horse thing. The only thing I just with you there, Woody, is guns and butter is a terrible name. It should be tanks and tic tacs. Like something that's more more alliteration more assonance there guns and butter what sort of not creative dude day one no it didn't return to the drafts guns and butter

that guy i literally thought you were making another fat joke when you first i still don't understand none of you've heard of guns versus but this is an economic concept that like yeah no i'm not surprised i haven't know that you've laid it out but yeah no i literally thought you're like guns to butters and like you know fat guys owning guns and shit that's important to do with agriculture maybe six no i thought i hate butter you know honestly the biggest problem for woody for a society would be obesity like if you were in charge and an obesity epidemic broke out, I have full confidence Chancellor Woody immediately rectifies that situation. I love how you're just saying it broke out. Like there's just contagious fat just looming across.

There is. It's airborne. I'm breathing in someone else's McDonald's farts. It's going into my body. Ah, peanut oil. Yeah. And now they're saying all the different oils are bad no no they don't does not use peanut oil peanut oil is good don't they have like 31 ingredients they're fucking fries where it

should have just been like potatoes oil and like salt so they used to use beef tallow to make their french fries um and they're double fried by the way and so they have a double batch of beef tallow but they had to get rid of that because of the cholesterol concerns and so now they they have have an additive to make it taste like beef tallow but they fry it in vegetable oil chick-fil-a uses a refined peanut oil that i think is i don't know if hypoallergenic is the right word but it i don't think that it should trigger people with a peanut allergy because kitty's got a peanut allergy i've seen it happen. But every now and then I sneak a little Chick-fil-A in her food just to test her. And she never died or anything.

I mean, she'd get like, oh, my throat's in a little tie. It's allergies this year. And I'd be like, oh, shit, I don't know nothing about that. Kyle, is the thing in here? You're like, no. I actually did that once. Not poisoning her or anything. But I went to this restaurant um at this

country restaurant in elberton georgia and in the back area of it there's a pasture with horses and i went back there and the horses were friendly and i was petting these beautiful horses i've never hadn't petted a horse for years but they were they're like pets and i think that she's like violently allergic to to horses and i didn't like take my porcy hands and like rub them in her face or anything i was just in the house with her and she was like have you been around horses today absolutely not

absolutely not you have like a hoof print on your shorts her face was red and swollen she's crying you have those high pants on you're holding a riding crop. Absolutely. Absolutely not. I have not been around horses

all day. No way am I having it. A cowboy hat on. Parked in the driveway, tethered. Are those spurs you're wearing? No. You're delusional. Sean Strickland

is, I know, a hero of yours. taylor i think he's your favorite ufc fighter that's the funniest ufc fighter i've ever i you guys have told me before about entertaining ufc fighters in the pre-fight i've never seen someone go that hard and be that funny and be that funny and clearly he is he is like an embodiment of that like old saying he may be wrong but he's not lying like he's he he's he's not he's not putting on an act like he's he's telling you what he thinks and that's very endearing i like this dude i saw a clip earlier today not the one that i sent you um where he's talking to two women and i think they're employees the ufc there's microphones and stuff and they're explaining to him why he needs to be able to have conversations with women he's like why the fuck would i talk to a woman i wasn't trying to

have sex with what will we talk about what will we talk about what is there to discuss if i'm not trying to have sex with you then why are we talking he's like because you need to hear from what what dude is he gonna run for anything can i vote for him i'm gonna write in sean strickland i'm gonna do it twice for you too kyle the fact that he's doing press means he's probably fighting this weekend i haven't looked but uh um a favorite of mine right uh he showed up short notice uh like not too long ago and and one when he shouldn't have and and he's been like hot on the mic for months now and his twitter's been crazy too so i think he's picked up a lot of fans the clip i sent you today he's he's saying that women should lose their right to vote and he starts laying out his case wildly it's hilarious because it's

trying to take alcohol away look i don't drink but i'll take it away from y'all no i'm not saying that the 19th amendment was a mistake i'm just saying that the country went to shit after yeah you know uh debtors prisons did not exist in the west from the magna carta until the 19th amendment and then very quickly after debtors prisons returned very strange very curious what's the 19th amendment women voting oh yeah we were joking around just like how uninformed the average person is we wanted to go around austin with petitions like women have suffered long enough we need to end women's suffrage and just see how many fucking petitions we get signed that's a good one you can get that you can get a lot of people on that because suffrage is such a bad sounding word. I agree.

Yeah. It's very confusing. I'm in favor of ending all suffrage and going back to kings. I don't think we gave monarchy a fair shake. What family would you choose? That's a good question.

Kardashians. No. They have to be number one. They got to be tall. They got to be good looking. We got to's a good question. Kardashians. No, they have to be. Number one, they got to be tall. They got to be good looking. We got to have a good looking family. We can't have some. Kardashians aren't doing it for you.

No, they're short. They're a short little family. Tiny little short little family. No, we need tall. I didn't know. Tall guys. Well, I mean, Barron Trump comes to mind. Barron Trump. That's okay's okay his name he is tall and

baron is a great name king baron you know what it comes down to is if he picks if he if his wife is ends up being like a six two swede model then we start next generation see how it turns out that new trump because that guy's going to be seven two he's going to be you know i don't know what baron's like but you know he he seems like a good enough kid he got shit on for no reason by a bunch of douchebags for four years how do you feel about arnold uh i don't like his accent for leading the u.s i know he's he's too old he's too old i don't care about that anymore well he's gonna how about his mexican son he's jack how about we put him in it like what's it called when you've got someone

what um um the the steward we make how about we have a stewardship while we work out the kingship and arnold is the steward of the throne all right i'm sort of a den of thor like i am almost in uh hmm i don't know what he's gonna love wait hold on no no no we you would need arnold is old and he'd abused steroids his whole life and so his heart could pop any second and then i don't know who the next person in charge is at the schwarzenegger he had surgery he's straight i don't know about a schwarzenegger dynasty but yeah who gives him some position you know yeah he's just gonna hold on to the throne until he dies and then he'll go to the next you know some he's looking at he's the dinner for the king will rise in the east that guy rfk jr i don't want him anywhere near anything he doesn't get to be in it

he can talk about his stack and his workout routine and that's it dude's ripped i just i just want to see him debate man i just like i don't i don't he's not he's not necessarily my guy for anything yeah he's a gun grabbing douche. Yeah, like like there's a lot of his shit that I disagree with but as a Democrat, I'm like, all right, I'm willing to throw this Molotov in like I'll I'm curious to see how he goes like if I know he'll never debate Biden, but I would

really like to see it. Yeah, imagine that neither one of them can really speak very well. Yeah, speak up. You speak up. If I could walk over there. You guys guys you guys like my rf game brush clear your throat for 90 minutes and you say the thing about it's like shut up stop talking i've heard people saying they don't think biden's gonna run when i suggested that biden when i started talking about how Biden and Trump match up hypothetically or whatever, they're like, you think Biden's running?

He announced, I think it's official. Oh, OK, OK. I know that all that. But what they think is that that is a deception. Ah, what I'm worried about. I mean, he could easily, like when it's time, be like, you know, for help reasons, I've decided I'm going to bow out of this, and I want to put all my faith and confidence behind X, Y, and Z. I would be worried about him handing the torch over to Gavin Newsom. I think that's most likely.

If it was going to be somebody, I think. Kamala can't carry more than 20 points. She's very unlikable. She won't get so. There's a reason we haven't seen her for a while. She can't win. She's very unlikable. She won't get selected. There's a reason we haven't seen her for a while. I think she's getting booted out. I think she'll be selected as VP again. Five candidates.

I don't know how much she helps or hurts. I just don't know. Does she help with the female vote? Does she help with the black vote? Who? Kamala. No, she's just not likable. Like, does she help with the female vote? Does she help with the black vote? Who? Kamala. Kamala. Oh, no, she's like, she's just not likable.

And she's, she tried so desperately to pivot to this, like, progressive, like, hardline lefty progressive. And it's like, no, your entire, like, career was locking people up for weed and shit. Like, it's not. And just because you're like, I'm just laughing like Hillary Clinton. Everything you're saying is right. But like, so I follow politics a lot. Like every day I devote like an hour to it or something stupid. And I wonder, like, it's easy for someone like me to place way too much emphasis on some current event.

It's easy for someone like me to place way too much emphasis on some current event when in reality it's totally forgotten in history. And it's really all about branding and vibe when it comes down to getting voted for. See, that's what Trump would do. He'd call out moments like this on a debate stage. You'd be surprised that he's bringing up something that everybody's talking about, but he's not sticking to his speaking notes and his his canned replies to x y and z question when he go off script and start you know picking at them on something like this like if you in a in a vice presidential debate that's what i do i talk like especially if you had a if you had a vp from a state with legal marijuana who could stand behind that and go after her record on marijuana from the right you destroyer you destroyer i don't think anybody is like or i'm probably wrong but like who's that amped up over trump at this point like he he didn't do

anything other like he he didn't do anything in office he didn't he didn't really do much of anything so i agree he passed a tax cut. That's a signature thing. Didn't start any wars. Tax cut. Didn't start wars. Supreme Court. A good bit of his foreign policy and stuff. Especially his first 100 days. Oh, do you like the Supreme Court? We're just going to rattle that one off like it's nothing?

No, I listed that. The Supreme Court is like getting a legendary, unique item on your first day. It's paying dividends every fucking day for the next 30 fucking years getting a legendary ancient item six presidents from now trump will be deciding what's going on in this country the people he chose will be six presidents from now that'll be happening i don't think that's true not six from now it's only 24 years i'm just you know no because they're going to average. They double. Yeah. So what? Because Brandon was saying

like, yeah, he didn't start any new wars. That's like probably the best thing he did is not get us involved in endless proxy fights. Yeah. His first 100 days

are pretty good with some of his executive action. As much as I'm not a fan of executive action as a whole, is some of this stuff like rolling out to organizations like ATF, EPA, whatever. Like, hey, if you're going to add a new regulation, you got to take out two. Choose any two. as a whole is some of this stuff like it like rolling out to you know organizations like atf

epa whatever like hey if you're gonna add a new regulation you gotta take out two choose any two like a little shit like that like reigning in the government a little bit i'm like all right i can be down for that like he was kicking ass in the what for a while and then it just i don't know he just ran out of fucking steam and started focusing on shit i may not agree with yeah i remember people making fun of that and it's like like, no, unironically, that's a great thing. Like you think that bureaucrats whose entire job is to create bureaucracy don't over bureaucrat things like, of course, they do. There's way more than needs to be there. Like simplify it, make it simpler, easier. Yeah, that makes sense.

What are you going to say? Zero. Anytime you can simplify any system and keep it as effective, it's a benefit. Yeah, sure. So I think there's people who are really excited about trump although i don't think it's for the reasons that we're talking about i think the people who are really excited about trump probably just like him as a man or they just hate the democrats and the left so much like there's a lot of that where they're like i'm not i don't want fucking this

this being talked to my kids a lot of times they hate the flag bearer a lot of times they hate a fake version of the democrats which is a frustration i have like it mainstream democrats are not trans people participating in girls sports that's a really weird odd case that gets way more attention than it deserves mainstream democrats weren't for sharia law four years ago when that's all they talked about um it's sometimes they it seems like they drum up um make believe lefty that everybody hates well the trans thing is a good example that gets way more attention than it really should i agree i mean it gets attention i think we all. It should weigh more attention than it should. Yeah.

There's no reason to have it that, that much attention, but like parents are obsessed with it because they have a strong opinion about their kids in school. Like, I think people are currently obsessed with it because certain media organizations beat the anti-trans drum every single day and they make it seem like trans people. They're everywhere.

Check your couch cushions there's trans people they're trying to make your kids trans there's teachers trying to brainwash your kids and i think it's also like shit like pride month and whatnot where like everybody's changing their shit there's flags everywhere it's like it's the most in your face that it's ever been at least that you know my experience is it like it's it's kind of kind of everywhere yeah and then you'll you'll have that and then you'll have the dissenters commenting on that and you're just kind of creating this perpetual media cycle of people getting mad i don't know i like that that wasn't a joke that that we're here we're queer we're coming for your children that that was literally at the pride parade every time i see an

image it's it's naked men around children and they're not just naked standing there they're like twerking or they've got like cock rings on or they're selling what was the one i saw oh check your moles these naked guys are standing there amongst the children they're gonna they're coming up come on get your moles checked i don't think you're qualified sir no it's like you know what dude be gay if you want to be dude i don't give a fuck two consenting adults do whatever the fuck you want to do i don't care but like you start coming after kids like that it's like oh the wood chipper is getting real hungry even republicans i don't think hate gay people anymore that's a little 15 years ago it's really the trans people well you're right some do but i think more mainstream is trans i would say mainstream most of these people are

like we don't want this being taught to our kids. We don't want these conversations being had in secret with our children without us knowing about it. And it's known that like these school districts try to keep it under wraps. Like they don't promote this stuff. Like there's a reason like you can see clips of like a frustrated parent going in and being like, show show it on the projector show what this book is and they're like no we're not going to show it right now it's like this is you're showing it to our kids you're reading this to our children you're not showing it right now like and so i empathize i empathize with parents who are like yeah you're trying to supersede my influence as a parent and i'm not cool with that yeah the state does not get to decide what my child

their gender such a tricky balance though right like for example florida's don't say gay thing is now extended to 12th grade to 18 year olds good that's a little long to not cover like sexuality they do cover if any of those kids want to get into harvard they need to start cracking the books and start stop worrying about the flags because because the emissions just tightened up exactly about stds yeah right no like that's what it's about condoms and stds you don't teach people how to give head and like and do shit like that and that's for mail monday you teach them yeah that's for you teach kids like here here's my trial but there you go and you don't teach kids like, here, here's a danger. Hey, my childhood. There you go. You don't teach kids this. Kids don't need to know.

What about catching some strays? There's no reason to keep a kid from their innocence. You don't need to know that. I'm kind of with you. You don't teach kids how to give hand to nature. But you do need to teach kids enough that they can identify good touch and bad touch.

One of the reasons they started teaching sex ed in like fourth grade was so the kids could recognize if they're being molested how about this do you think if they said we can teach good touch bad touch and stds that the left on this issue would go okay we're good nope because i don't i don't think that's the agenda at all that's not what they're going for and the biggest thing that i don't like is that whether you agree with this or not, your tax dollars are being used to fund it. That's, you know,

because the government has a monopoly on school. Nick Merck's guy is right. Leave kids alone. What they want to do is they want to take this, they want to, they want equal, they want this book where, look, these are the ways sex can be had. Here's what 2% of people do.

Here's a whole book about it. We're going to learn about it today next week we'll look at that thing that 99 percent of the rest of you do and you know i mean like i don't know why we're i don't know why we have to walk through a i saw the kids running down the hallway and the whole hallway is a goddamn rainbow like circles that they're running through and they've all got gay flags and it's just like this is like eight percent of the population that's gay right or something like that some tiny little fraction of people who are gay and we're having a goddamn month celebrating the the sex organ they like like i don't fucking care i'm not saying we should round them up or anything i'm just saying don't celebrate that

you're talking about or sound kind of bad that's never what me or any of my kids are, you know, saw. So I'm like, ah, it sounds like some of these needs to be done though. Right. When your kids were in school and when you were in schools,

I had a friend of mine. I'm talking about what I see on the internet. I had a friend of mine who's on the school board of a place here in Missouri. Show me like pictures of a book that they were promoting for like first graders. And it was unreal. I was like, oh, I thought this was a California thing. Like I didn't. So he showed me.

I didn't know. And he's he's one of those guys who's there. He has young kids. He's like me and the rest of the parents there. All of us are on the same page. It is the teachers we are against. All of us are on the same page. It is the teachers we are against.

Yeah, and then you see stuff like this, and you also have a generation of attention and affirmation-deprived kids that are looking for basically affirmation anywhere they can find it. And you're like, oh, yeah, but this group of people that you can just choose to be is super celebrated. We have a whole month, and we just want to lift these people up.

And you're like, oh, fuck, maybe that's me. Which is why I feel like if you're gay, you're gay. Whatever, dude, I don't care. Oh, this is just like the Ffa the future farmers of america they come in on club day all the other clubs like you sign up for us sign up for us or maybe the ffa we got free biscuits twice a month y'all want free biscuits because we got an unlimited biscuit budget over here we all joined the future farmers of america poor chess club over there well they got some croissants in there.

Those little fucks. If you guys have your way with policy, you're going to raise a generation of women that can't suck dick. Do you want to live in that world? I don't want schools teaching kids how to have sex. I don't want a fourth grader who knows how to have sex. You better, Taylor.

It's a place of learning. That's what you want. You want a fresh out of college fucking 24-year-old teaching your kids about who better Taylor that's what you want you want a fresh out of college fucking 24 year old teaching your kids about intimate things yeah I mean that's what I want personally tell me what you're wearing yeah it's wild

24 year old sex ed teacher huh yeah tight skirt no underwear that sounds terrible that would be like the funniest like creep at a local community college a guy who never graduates but he just takes sex ed classes i mean i guess for this guy yeah he's majoring in it you just keep failing with that banana if you could just help me college? I mean, I guess for this guy, yeah, he's majoring in it. You just keep failing with that banana. If you could just

help me. If you could just help me. They're like, god damn, you're terrible at this. I get so nervous around you, Miss Johnson. This is your sixth semester. You're 41. I know for a fact you're a certified electrician.

You don't need a job you just keep making me explain to you how to eat pussy every week every week you raise your hand because you're the only person who takes this class but it's subsidized by the state so as long as you're taking it I make my living you guys all want to live in the world i would create thin people learning about sex constantly that's what it is that's this is a sitcom now the perv it's called the perv it's called the perv and it's and it's

a 61 year old man who who is always talking about the next chapter in his life but makes no efforts to go there and he like he moved right next to the professor she's in an apartment now he's in the apartment next to her his wife still lives at home there that's like a rocky relationship you know what i'm not gonna say anymore i'm gonna write this this is a good ass yeah i'm gonna sell that to amazon or i guess good. Yeah. I'm going to sell that to Amazon. Or I guess Netflix. Netflix will buy anything. I know you're not keeping up with what it's always saying in Philadelphia. But episode five was a real banger.

It had a cameo with Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul. And I won't spoil any of it. Because to tell you, some of the jokes are so good. It was really funny. And when I first saw that they were in it, I was like, ah, celebrity cameos are hard to do. It's so funny. They don't play themselves.

They play different versions of themselves that are very weird people. You've been talking it up so much. I'll jump back in. I'll try this season this time. There's like one bad episode. There's an episode where Frank plays chess against the Chinese. No, against the chinese no against the russians the koreans oh usually he's against koreans that's his

his like ethnic rival from from korea since this is the bad episode i'll spoil a bit of it basically because of two or three different plot lines um uh coming together frank has been cheating at chess he's been using uh the uh his cell phone and having charlie watch the game with glasses and there's somebody on the outside with a computer and they got this janky system where he can cheat he has to hold the piece over the where he thinks about putting it and they buzz him when he should put it down and um eventually he ends up with vibrating sex toys in his ass that he doesn't know about so that he can play in the big chess match. And he's just sweating profusely and screaming

and sort of maybe orgasming from the ass while he's playing chess against this man. Charlie, Charlie, I'm coming. Charlie, I'm going to bust. It's been a real renaissance of the show I'm really happy to see it I feel like you guys have talked about this as a bit before it's based on reality

so there was a big controversy with this world famous chess player Magnus Carlsen what? I think it's Magnus I forgot his name. I think so too. You never have that when I ask.

I always have. You've been withholding that bit of knowledge. It's a different stone they do in Scotland though. Those are something else. Anyway, what was I talking about? The cheating scandal that rocked chess. They believed that he had a vibrating toy in his

butt so there's this company called there's probably many but love sense l-o-v-e-s-e-n-s-e um has this app and this line of sex toys that you can put in lady and then you control from anywhere and they have this really intricate application for controlling it like there's lots like you can even make a set to a song so you just like and they're like leave that shit on like we will rock you and just fucking go to sleep and she's over there just ah like it's great they're very expensive and um the idea was that what they said was that magnus carlson was cheating in that way um and uh because of the way he played or something like that oh no it was a woman who got there and it was also um it wasn't magnus carlson said the other guy might have done it. Because Magnus Carlsen's the greatest player in the world.

It was the other guy who was like some super underrated compared to him. And then before that happened, there was a girl in poker who had a thing where... I don't remember exactly how the hand was played, but without going into poker specifics, it was nonsense what she did. So she folded at a time where you wouldn't fold. Unless you had additional info like you would have to have additional info information to make the the move she made and uh and they've been saying that it was like a vibrator as well or you know a vibrating signaling device because you know those six because those and it would be easier in this instance because the show's live um it so there, so there's a, there's a back room where somebody has information and they could relay it

to her. Even if it was very rudimentary, like fold bet, you know, just some basic information, like one buzz, two buzz, three buzz.

You wouldn't have to know a Morse code or some shit or that five, not Kerrigan war shit or anything like that. Cheating in chess seems very hard. I feel like they're always hard scope in that there's not anything else to look at it's two guys playing chess also yeah there should be like what is it just a better player that's off screen like a computer or a bot oh well yeah that's true i guess yeah apparently people can't beat computers anymore. And there is the most perfect move, and the best players in the world, I read, make the most perfect move about 90% of the time.

And a cheater will just do it 100% of the time. Yeah, I think you're right. And that's interesting that that's how they sussed out cheating, is analytically by being like this guy this the german guy that said the swedish whatever guy was cheating like for him to have made those moves would like flies in the face of chess knowledge it's like he only would have like made moves that perfect anticipating like a different player and it's so complicated i don't even understand it chess is so cool that way but like it's do you guys feel that way about a game like chess

where like you see someone who's truly excellent like and you just have a total understanding like this person thinks on in a way that i can't possibly emulate like they think more complexly than me they think more thoroughly than me at least in regard to like the spatial reasoning of the board and, and what needs to go where at any given time. It's like a level of intellect. That's that's insane. Yes. It happens to me in all kinds of forms and activities.

Yes. When I'm playing magic, the gathering, I wonder if it's that or memorization. Like if like, you, you know, all the possible moves,

cause you played the game, you know, 8000 times. Not that that's any less impressive. I mean, it's a skill I don't have. No, I bet you're right. I bet that plays into it, too. Just the ability to look at the board and like any strategy game, be like based on this current setup, I can garner that this is likely the outcome. I have to do this now. I have a theory in computer programming during my career.

Something called patterns came out and they were replicated from architecture. So if you're an architect, you're designing the inside of a house. There's certain patterns that you see all the time. Like, all right, the kitchen's going to need a layout of like the sink, the fridge and the stove, make this triangle, not try to spread them out too far. Try to get them near each other. Have a working triangle, you know, that works. The living room is going to need this. And that's going to need this kind of traffic flow that goes through it. We're going to need a spot for the TV.

And these are some like common formulas we put everywhere in traffic. You've seen it too. Like, all right, this is, things going to be a circle. This is going to be a light. This is how we handle highway overpasses or in,

uh, uh, entry and exit to the interstate you have this problem presented in front of you and you've got like two or three patterns that address it i bet that's how chess is played but like oh i've i've bumped into layouts similar to this before and it's a good way to handle it and you hear stuff like that where they'll be like ah the the sicilian defense or whatever the names of things are i think sicilian defense is from princess bride but i don't actually know that's a real one did you get into a land war in asia yes you got into a land war in asia you fool like he's that's such a great movie but yeah and like you said there's openings i think

probably fit the pattern perfectly, but the deeper in the game, they're just like, all right, you know, he's, his pieces are roughly here. He's this forward. This is how I deal with it. Anyway, that's my theory.

They recognize it and apply a known solution to this situation. I wish I was the best chess player in the world. Do you? I'd be cool. I'd be the cool chess player. I wish I was the best chess player in the world. Do you? I'd be cool. I'd be the cool chess player. I'd be like, yeah, I don't really like chess that much. You know what I want to do? I want to do that thing where you play against like eight guys at once, like

real fast. Yeah, I'm just getting dominated every single day. Just getting absolutely wrecked. I can't think of chess anymore without thinking of that uh fucking meme or that video of the uh the russian kid who's like you know seven years old and then they bring out like and here we have like the world reigning chess champion the dark souls music fucking place this guy walks out the kid cries that's great

i was gonna tell you, I wouldn't care. The best basketball player in the world right now, arguably, this guy, Joker, he's a big white guy from like Eastern Europe, doesn't like basketball that much. And he's always like, he wants to go home and enjoy his off season. They'll ask him about like, you know what? You just passed LeB james and the number of 20 points or whatever some weird stat and he's like you guys are so interested in stats i

can i go he doesn't i mean he's a white guy from eastern europe when he won the championship they're like you know congratulations you're the world champion and And he's like, can I go home now? And like, well, there's a parade in your honor. Fuck. I didn't have any opinion on Jokic beforehand, but I saw his post-interview, and you could see him trying to play the part where they're like, you just won the NBA championship title.

How do you feel? He's like, I'm very happy. I'm going to, you know, I'm so happy to go home and be home and be not here and be in Serbia away. And they're like, that's great. What did you think about the third quarter? He's like, just getting back to Serbia. Like, he's just not caring at all.

There are more important things in life than basketball. And when other players say that, they mean, like, maybe life and death or whatever. When Joe Gates says it, he means basketball is the fourth most important thing to him. I saw he was like, I think he's really into horses or something he enjoys horses and i saw them interview like so you're gonna reward yourself with a new horse if you win the championship i guess it was before and he's like i will buy another one even if i lose and it was like this guy rocks like he just doesn't give a fuck he's like you know it's just happenstance i'm the best player on earth and i'm embarrassing everyone else but i'd love to

go play with my horses he's just the fucking john daly of basketball he just doesn't give half a fuck oh yeah there was this guy who was drafted in 2004, 2005, something around there, named Alexander Daigle, first overall, an NHL player. And he was this Russian phenom who had so much natural potential. And he may have at some point. And they interviewed him, and they'd be like, you had such a great first year, and you're struggling. Why are you – you're incredible. You should be good. And he would are you like, you're incredible. Like you should be good.

And he would just be like, I hate ice hockey. I hate play game. I hate ice hockey. I don't want to play. I play game because I am very good at game. I hate this game. And he's like, he just had no interest in playing hockey. He just was like, I'm great at this.

So I'll do it. And when he burned out out of the league like they stopped signing him because he just became so shitty because he hated it but really was he shitty or just there's a he became shitty like he just he would be one of those guys who goes out on the ice and is like giving 80 percent and you can't give 80 in the nhl because everybody else is trying to stay in the nhl but i was wondering if his shitty was maybe better than someone else's full effort. Initially it was and he became truly shit. I'm just not caring.

Anywho, we'll end it with a little hockey thing. We were bound to get there at some point. When it dies with a whisper. Let's have an episode to end as Taylor saying something not interesting about the NHL.

I was interested. I was going to ask you more hockey questions. I'll save the listeners. They'd rather listen to nothing than my dumb ass talking about the Blues. They'd literally rather the show end than me talking about it. Let's end on grooming instead then. You know about that Miranda Sings YouTuber, that

girl? Oh, I did see her singing that. We're not diddling kids. She's the one with the ukulele I'm not diddling kids video. So she got accused of grooming and pedophilia I suppose. Maybe some fans or some stuff. And she has this music channel. And so she addressed the issue

with a long ukulele video where she talks about not fucking kids, I guess. That meme is so great. It's always funny. The first thing you don't do is make a song about not diddling kids. Frank, there is no way for people to think you are diddling kids better than you writing a song about it. And he's just like, no, I had a real ghoul do my makeup. No one would associate with this guy if you were really undesirable. Yeah, she needs a better PR team.

That's a questionable strategy of handling that. I can't imagine a worse strategy of then singing a song. And I actually, I didn't look at, I don't know anything about what she's accused of. I have no clue. But I know that you don't want to. Yeah, I know, but I don't know the situation. It's almost as bad as the frank underwood defense now the thing about this is you can't stop me from molesting children he's coming back yeah no he's in court right now did we just yeah but all seven of his fucking accusers are dead yeah two more and he's he's out of the woods

yeah that's right he's out of the woods until he goes back to bohemian Yeah, two more and he's out of the woods. Yeah. That's right. He's out of the woods until he goes back to Bohemian Grove. 65 more and he could be a Clinton. There you go. You know, like, dude, that must suck to be the Clintons. Like, imagine having hundreds of close friends kill themselves. That's got to be devastating. That's got to be absolutely just so sad. Like, is it murder or is it they're just that stressful to be friends with?

Dude, all my dozens of my best friends all killed themselves in mysterious circumstances. It sucks. It sucks. I fucking hate this, dude. I fucking hate this. You're talking to a dude. When my best friend from middle school killed himself by shooting himself in the back of the head twice in the back of a Buick. God damn it.

He stabbed himself in the liver with a pencil. Wait, wasn't one of them? Wasn't one of them hung from a tree or something and shot miles from their house and they called it. Yeah. He wanted to die. Like he shot himself, then climbed up in a tree and hung himself. Yeah.

Life's crazy. And then the shotgun, the shotgun that flew 30 meters in the other direction. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. There's some there's some wild things when you're like, this is a lot of people to know killed themselves. Dude, when Norm MacDonald started calling Clinton a murderer on The View, that's one of the craziest primetime cringe moments you've ever seen

when Joy Behar and Barbara Walters are physically trying to restrain him from talking anymore. It's great. It's hilarious. Say, I didn't know I had a murderer in the White House. The thing about Bill is you guys are talking about a blowjob. He's a murderer. The thing I just like about him.

The thing they say that I don't like is the murder. What do you mean he's a murderer? I mean, he killed people. I mean, he tied them up and killed them and he's just like on the view saying this like oh r.i.p norm i love norm yeah all right uh brandon anywhere people can find all of your stuff uh you can find me at the local bar here in san antonio wherever you're at but other than that it it's just YouTube, man. Been on the,

been on the grind. Thank you gentlemen for having me again. So it's been a while. I always enjoy you anytime, dude. It's always great. Very good. PKA six 54.