Painkiller Already - PKA 659 W/ Goldenboy: Dog Women Of Boston, Optic and Faze Love Triangle, Controversial Trip With Lizzo

Episode Date: August 5, 2023

PKA 659 with our guest Golden Boy. Taylor? This episode of PKA brought to you by pharaohdistro.com, Blue Chew, and of course, Lock and Load. A bunch of wonderful, some of them dick-related supplements you'll hear more about later. Golden Boy, thank you for joining us. You look great.

It's a pleasure. It's a pleasure. Always good to hear about those supplements. We'll all need them eventually. Inside 11 seconds. 11 seconds to get demonetized i don't know if it's a record but it's well done damn let me go back over and slide a little over that a little fun thing yeah so i was looking golden boy that you last time we spoke to you you were

working at g4 and you've since since left that you decided oh yeah it wasn't for you oh yeah we left oh yeah i was out of there uh you know not like the company went to shit but outside of that though uh no i mean yeah yeah you know i was uh actually funny thing was i actually was not there when the company like inevitably imploded my contract actually was up and then we were in renegotiation uh and then the day that i was going to re-sign was the day i found out the company no longer existed like we actually were getting the contract in in our email that morning we were told specifically that morning uh and i mean everything seemed okay it was going to be like a lesser load it was going to be like a lesser load it was going to be as much work for me uh which was fine considering that i was doing a few other things

at the time but uh yeah and then it was like oh company went under oh shit would have been great to know you know like before no lead time at all they just you were expecting like all right i'm set for the next year with this contract and then then they just said, everyone's fine. So for me personally, uh, I have operated for a very long time under the, you know, the, the mindset of nothing is guaranteed. Uh, so as a result of that, I'm always like, yeah, you know, these people, these, these rich douches could pull the plug eventually and then just find some way not to pay me you know i mean what am i gonna do i'm just a just a regular dude um but uh that being said yeah for this particular case um i knew that it wasn't going to be anything substantial or long term so as so i i was going

into it more like hey i really like working with these people uh the crew that we had built up there were like fantastic folks that we have really that were really smart whole audience knows what g4 is and what you did there oh yeah yeah i can explain yeah so basically g4 was uh a video game uh tv network that died and then uh for some reason got brought back um and then they brought it back and then they brought back uh you know a lot of the the core original people that like helped build it both behind the scenes and on camera um so i got to work with like adam sessler and kevin perera again uh kevin perera is incredible like that man one of the greatest hosts i've ever

worked with ever um and uh and then they had like a lot of the same writing staff and everything like that. So it was recreating those shows that were really iconic and especially for like millennials, you know, like, like X play and attack of the show arena, like those shows that were really prolific on the G4 TV network.

And then there was an attempt to bring it back, except this time do it in, you know, the, the modern era with, you know, streaming and all that stuff being incorporated into the system. But that just didn't work out because, you know, as I have learned throughout my career and I've seen it happen so many times, you know, when it comes down to video game content and stuff like just people. Yeah. You know, you have your IGNs and your game spots of the world and those folks that have been around for like a super long time but like you know to kind of like spin up out of nowhere especially being by comcast owned by

comcast and then saying like hey guys we're authentic video game content even though like the content was authentic being made by authentic people but it just had that shell of of corporate sure you know sure the people in nickelback are real musicians but they but somehow they didn't like it they generate the right way i don't know that yeah yeah actually speaking of though we had nickelback playing on the of course we did early 2000s playlists just just to see came up, and then that came up on the freaking Amazon thing. What did you do? So you were the MLG announcer, right? Well, yeah.

So I used to commentate for Major League Gaming for, like, Call of Duty and stuff like that back in the day. Who did that job before you? I'm trying to remember that guy's name. Well, so there was one guy who was doing it pretty consistently. His name was cory dunn he was the uh you know the more of the texas sounding you know play-by-play commentator that we had back in the day and there was another guy named holiday doc holiday doc that was the other dude so that

was the guy that i kind of like took the seat of because he couldn't come for work reasons and then they asked me if i was interested and i was like yeah sure whatever man so i used to game with holiday doc he's very good at video games by the way oh yeah no he was always fantastic i mean i was like his old youtube channel yeah yeah he was mad at you oh yeah he didn't like losing that job to you at all not one day i had no freaking so i till this day because he was don't know i just don't i don't know anything i don't know what happened i i worked as a social worker and um i was going to go see uh because i had a few clients who worked in like queens and stuff and my job i would always be on the train so uh in new york you know, oftentimes I, you know, go on the above subway and then it'll go underneath and it'll come back up.

So, you know, you'd lose service when you hit the tunnel and then come back up on the on like more of the bridge tracks. So my friend called me from MLG and I couldn't pick up because I was literally just going underground. So I was going to lose service. And then as I get above ground get off my stop uh i get a voicemail and it's like hey man uh just want to ask you are you coming through to providence at all and if you are shoot me a call i was like okay cool is uh my colleague andreas who worked at mlg and then i shot him a call and i was like hey man what's good and he's like yeah so uh it turns out like our the the guy who was going to commentate a holiday doc,

like he couldn't make it for work reasons. So do you want to just take the spot? And I was like, yeah, sure. Am I getting paid? And he was like, yeah, sure. Why not? And then that was it. I had no aspirations.

I guess we're like you more because afterwards they asked for you again. Or maybe they were sore about his availability. I don't know. Well, I think what helped is I was in New York and their offices were in New York at the time. So I think that that probably assisted. Because they were doing a lot of stuff in their New York studio with Puckett. So maybe that was one of the reasons why. I don't know.

I used to play with Holiday Duck. And he firmly believed that you should have turned down the job and allowed him to get it back. Oh. Really? Oh, yeah. What an absurd thing to say. Have you ever noticed how the absolute

bet... Watch the TNT NHL coverage and watch Paul Bissonette commentate an absolute plug who didn't really deserve to be in the NHL. He's incredible at it born natural and then watch wayne gretzky do it wayne is the most wooden awkward guy up there because every modicum of his talent is in being the best hockey player of all time that guy

probably sucks at driving he probably can't cook to save his life everything's to hockey so like it doesn't surprise me at all that the person who's like actually like hyper fixated on the game isn't as good at actually commentating it as someone more like golden boy uh yeah i mean i i feel bad i genuinely i they said he couldn't make it because of work i don't know what i was supposed to do the first time like you stole the job as a person who has a full-time job you know what i mean like i'm just like yeah sure man this is this was a side gig at no point in time like me even getting paid was like a miracle i was like wait i'm getting paid to talk about a video game fuck how did he

value more like i because as you say you don't get rich commentating MLG tournaments. No. But you do become important in the community. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. You can feel good. Especially at that time when it was still so insulated. Even though the internet was a thing, it was still so small. Because we all ran in the same circles and even though we all didn't like necessarily overlap in those old like mlg call of duty days uh i knew who you guys

were you know just from the yeah just from the fact that of i i knew like the call of duty youtubers at the time that were like popping off and stuff and that was like a core part of our culture oh i used to love mlgg like i would go to the whenever they came to raleigh i would go and i watched i'd really like it yeah i stayed in touch with like what was going online but it was awkward because i guess mlg didn't love me back mostly i mean like the optic guys were cool and stuff but it's an awkward position to be like i don't i'm gonna sound like an asshole but it's like yeah i'm more famous than Rambo, but I'm 1% of the player that he is. And yeah, fame wasn't fairly in their minds handed out.

Yeah, that's true. That makes a lot of sense. That's how it was back then. You know, like everyone just valued, you know, like this. You remember like back in the day for like Smash players and stuff, it'd be like, I was the best player in Columbus. I'm the best player in Long Island. yeah i'm the best player i'm the best player in long island dude i know one of those guys yeah right and like don't get me wrong it's still a thing but like that was what was measuring your fame which honestly is kind of cool it sounds like an anime and probably want to live in that world forever but like even then that was like how it was measured back in the day

especially like in the competitive circles sure MLG could have played that better, though. Oh, 100%. With the UFC, for example, whenever a movie star, a real combat movie star, wants to snuggle up with the UFC, and they're like, Oh, yeah.

Steven, Sensei Seagal. Yeah, Sensei Seagal. Come in here and bring your fans and do a whole thing and a powwow and we'll all bow at each other and we'll snicker behind your back. It'll be great. That's maybe the bad example because everybody hates Steven Seagal, but do it friendly with an actual martial art.

With an actual celebrity. They would be so nice to Keanu. They'd roll the Keanu. You'd share fan bases and everything. It would be clear like, hey, this guy does spins and this guy does wins why can't we all just share a fan base have a good time here and then i agree we're the pros all i'm saying is under siege was a great 18 people watching yeah no you're you're not wrong like i i think that uh back in the day like a lot of the things

that because i don't know how much you guys are keeping up with like esports and like what's going on in that space but not anymore let's just let's just put it like this uh i think everyone just started to realize the thing that i had realized really early on which was there's no money and and people need to start like figuring out like how to actually turn this into a business rather than like just say it's a business like we can go around in esports because it seems like it's always been on the edge of becoming the next major league sport like oh yeah five years from now all these people that are 19 are going to be millionaires yeah yeah but uh all these people 19 to be 24 and then there'll be like an important demographic that counts and then there'll be 30

and then there'll be whatever yeah like we had the um a part owner of the sacramento kings on the podcast it's a basketball team oh yeah yeah yeah and um that's all by the cronkies still right that's the is that the cronky i'm sure. I don't think he was the majority owner, but he was definitely a part owner of the Sacramento Kings. And he was also getting heavily into owning like video games, maybe the league or the teams. I forget what his thing was, but I remember he telling us like, you know, who are the big stars in this world?

They're athletes or athletes that don't wear hats or helmets. That was like a big thing. It's why basketball stars are more recognizable than baseball or especially football um because they wear a helmet and they just sort of can't get famous hockey as well uh and but he thought e-gamers could be like real big celebrities especially against a young in looking for the opposite of influential like influenceable demographic and uh it just seemed to make a lot of sense but here we are later learning there's no money in esports impressionable there it is there it is uh yeah i mean so i i i think that like there are obviously like a lot of layers

right to like what has transpired in esports and i and i have a lot of theories and like things that i've observed you know having worked in the space for as long as i have because i'm coming up on almost like 14 years now working as a like as an on-camera talent in esports a real pro like you know this business in that industry that's a century and like as like an oil man i mean i feel like i'm in my first century so i don't really follow it most probably because most of the games that i'm into aren't really played at a that sort of competitive level i would love to go into moral combat but i'll never be able to play fighting games yeah yeah but whenever it comes in front of me whenever i notice competitive gaming i'll say

because i i'm not great at separating mlg from maybe some other league or something like that it's a scandal it's always look at this guy to land with cheats on or it's look at how these children are being groomed on this pro gaming team and and it's like a bunch of leaked anymore cheat stories yeah yeah that's how drama alert started like i swear he was just covering and i don't even know what was true and what was not yeah but it was like optic girlfriends and like hookups and on weekends and shit like that he was always talking about like who texted who who dated who etc that that was tmz it seemed at the time like that was so that was so shallow but he grew it into whatever he's doing now with fucking celebrities boxing in the round.

Yeah, right? I don't know. I never thought that that was going to work, and I found the idea of covering optic so-and-sos, like Love Triangle with Faze Twisted. I hope that's not a real person. I found stuff like that to be so silly like i really don't care what it's like high school again and it's not even my it's like it's like no it's like high school drama but somebody else's high school you just

don't care at all that's a good one that's a good one that's well phrased yeah it's like someone telling me about their dream it's like like, shut the fuck up. I don't care. Catching strays in the top right corner over here. I like dream stories. Anybody wants to tell a dream story, don't hold back because it's bigot down here. Dream hater. I encourage everyone to send your detailed dream stories to Kyle.

My dreams are fucking... I have wonderful dreams. Blood all his inboxes with stupid-ass stories yeah this is woody's mailbox okay unless i'm in your dream unless i'm in the dream in a flattering way he'll burn it and then it'll go up in the sky and it'll run down on me and i'll dream that's how it works just another dream hater add them to the list add them to the list when those when like those professional game because i have the same exact experience with mlg that i only see a clip if it is like someone in the crowd filming a player's movements and i'm so not connected with the game that the comments will be like beyond obvious and i'm like what are we all looking at what's he doing oh i

guess that semi fraction of a second light indicates something is when that happens to a player is there a an apology and redemption tour or is it they are excised like they're done so it it depends on on the game right and and that doesn't happen as much at the very least anymore because of the way that a lot of these like tournaments operate because with way that a lot of these like tournaments operate because with covid like a lot of things went online and then a lot of those things just stayed online um so you know that i think is uh largely where you know you start to see a lot of those accusations really start to come to fruition and whatnot um but i think like when it boils down to it,

it's handled differently game to game, right? For example, counter-strike valve has a very low tolerance for cheating and have famously banned players for life for like cheating or like match fixing or doing something to that degree. And, and those things that are like very serious,

which I completely understand. Sometimes they, they do go a little far. Like, you players that match fix for example it was a very famous one with i buy power and uh which was a team that was a pc company uh but they had a team and a few of the players i think or all the players i don't remember the details on the story a little hazy uh maybe some of your viewers might or listeners might know about it but long story short these guys had match fixed in a game and then valve corroborated it and then banned them essentially for life and a few of those players ended up not being able to compete in counter-strike anymore and then like moved over to like valorant or something else because you know they can't play this game anymore uh and and

in some cases it's like all right it's a little like yeah i get, you know, they can't play this game anymore. And in some cases, it's like, all right, it's a little like, yeah, I get it. You know, low tolerance for cheating. Totally understandable. But then, like, you know, you start to look at the circumstances of the situation. Right. And like what was really starting to develop because the guys who had cheated were North American players. Now, cheating is never good.

Right. Like, it's just especially in a sports environment. You never want to do that. Like it's just, especially in a sports environment, you never want to do that. But North American Counter-Strike was really struggling because a lot of Counter-Strike was popping off over in Europe. And, you know, it's always been like that. But you started to see it peel away a bit more over the last few years, especially with COVID and all these leagues, right? Like they would open up in Europe first. So then that would kind of like just completely alienate any North American player.

And as a result, those North American players moved over to games like Valorant because it just was open, more open for them to participate in. And it was an even playing field, a lot of online competition and whatnot. But again, you know, you welcome back in cheaters and stuff. So you're giving these guys like a second lease on life by moving over to these other games but then you have you know guys who just want to continue to play counter-strike and try and make that a career is there a really well-known prolific cheater in the mlg world like a prolific cheater i mean you know in the in the esports space. I mean, not really. Sort of a bad boy. Infamous one? I mean, really, the most infamous

one was the one I just told you. That one was the one that rattled a lot of people because no one had ever seen Valve take action like that before. And Valve is very, very hands-off with the esports. They kind of let the tournament organizers handle a bulk of those administrative

responsibilities. But when off with the esport they kind of let the tournament organizers handle a bulk of those administrative uh like responsibilities but when valve gets involved when the dev gets involved that's when you know it's like particularly awful something that helped me enjoy esports more and it's like pedantic and silly but if all the players were in great shape it It would make me feel like this is more athletic now because sometimes you'll see someone who's like the guy and it's like, oh. Like that's... I love that Taylor's brought fat shaming to professional

gaming. You know what? Chess is alright. These guys look like couch potatoes. They hate dreams. They get removed because they get caught for cheating, but it's like SARMs. They get removed because they get caught for cheating, but it's like SARMs. They're just huge. I just wanted to keep off of Taylor.

I guess so, but I think part of the reason why esports has... And why esports I don't think will ever really go away is because anyone can play it. Anyone can... Yeah, you know yeah so but anyone can participate in in it you know and i think that that is the fun part about it like to me that's always been

the fun part because i used to play like football and stuff like that when i was in high school and you know tried to go a little further and like semi-pro and stuff and you know it's a it's a difficult world but it's one that's very difficult on your body and i think like at the very least with esports it's not the healthiest thing but you know especially for kids that like you know can't do those physical activities i think it gives them an opportunity to experience competition which i always i think competition in its purest form is always is extremely healthy you know winning losing, understanding what's at stake, like, you know,

preparing and training. And I love all that stuff. And I think like, if anyone can get an opportunity to get a taste of it, that's a positive to me, you know? Yeah. Anyone can do it,

but not everyone can do it. Like, that's true. Yeah. With every level of sports I've ever participated in, people harbor these dreams. Okay. Here's the deal.

For me to win the Olympics, first place in the Olympics as a swimmer, I calculated it. I've forgotten the number. But I just needed like six good times. If I could just pull that off. Like I have to qualify for Olympic trials. And then I need two races. I just have to qualify for Olympic trials. That's three races. And then at the Olympics, I think it's two. I just have to qualify for Olympic trials. That's three races.

And then at the Olympics, I think it's two. I think five. If I could just have a bit of a breakout. And it would happen, right? I remember maybe at the time the world long jump record was set by a guy who jumped. I'm going to fuck this up. But he jumped 20 feet. He was a 20-foot jumper.

He was really good. He was world class. But he was like the 19th best guy. But then one time, one time, somehow, he went 27 feet. Completely out of character for him. But somehow,

his body had it, and that world record stood for ages, like 15 years. Every number I said is probably wrong, but the idea is basically right yeah and i'm like that's what i need i just need five out of character races if i could be somebody else for five races i'd have a gold medal hanging on my neck just need one time and i think a lot of shot man might be the same like you know what i played with scum uh i got two kills and 15 deaths

but i think maybe if i could just get a little better i'd turn that around it's like no bro you need to get a lot better to turn that around it really is there there is a a gap right it's it's pretty massive but when i think that you know i it's all about like that barrier to entry right and and esports and gaming has a low-ish barrier. I say low-ish because like, let's be honest, you know, like good gaming gear or good, you know, like monitor or, you know, having a good GPU or whatever.

That stuff's expensive, right? So in that regard, I think like it is difficult, right. It to be able to like get involved as far as like the financial side. Do you need it? It depends on the game you play. Right. I think,

I think that's, that's where I could drop $28,000 on gaming gear tonight and it won't change my performance. But unless I kidnap a professional gamer first, nothing's cool. is gonna be like a play against scum and he could beat me with a track pad yeah i think there is like a big difference between someone who has like gear that runs like valorant at 120 fps or even 60 fps to 120 you know what i mean like there's that gap, I think, is present, which is why, like, games like League of Legends do so well in China and Asia and Latin America,

like Dota as well, because those games are less taxing on a computer. So, as a result... Is it Valorant less taxing? Am I crazy? It is, it is, but it's, you know, it's still got a lot going on, you know? I mean, you still have to have some modern gear. Like, I think you at least have to have, a 20 series card to play uh malloran i could be wrong but um yeah and you

know in in and also like at the high levels right like these players they have fps's that can go up to like 300 400 depending on like how they you know there's some diminishing returns there is diminishing returns 140 i agree i think after 240 you're kind of pushing it you know like 240 is really good uh like you notice the difference between 120 and 240 but even then like if you are playing at that level and you go higher i just don't i i personally can't but hey maybe someone better than me can see the difference between 360 and 240 like i personally can't. But hey, maybe someone better than me can see the difference between 360 and 240. I personally can't. Maybe. I think I can see 60 to 120. I think I can.

Most can. Or better yet, I think I can like four times out of five. After 120, it's all wasted on me. You could test it on your Xbox, I believe. Because I think like the Xbox, you could switch it to 120 FPS depending on the game. So you could see what the difference is because in i'm playing final fantasy 16 right now and the difference between 30 and the 60 performance mode is quite like you know profound i've got the series x and i've got

a tv that's made to game on so it'll do the frames and it looks better than my gaming setup. I'm always blown away when I go in and see my girlfriend playing Shadow of Mordor or... What's the other one that looked really good? The new Tomb Raider. Oh, yeah. Stuff like the new Tomb Raider. I was like, oh, my God. This looks incredible. Shadow of Mordor.

Is she still just killing those goofy names? It's the new one. I think it's a new one. Oh, there's a new one. I think it's a new one. Oh, there's a new one. I think there's like a brand new one. Some fucker was not ding-donging my doorbell, driving the fucking dogs crazy with a goofy-ass handlebar mustache, told him to get on

his bitch mobile and get moving. What's that stupid thing you get on that you stand on, you balance on? A unicycle. He wasn't on a unicycle. A pogo stick? I want to know, you stand on it and balance on it was is it a scooter the thing that the owner died what was he there the segway segway he was on a full-scale segway no he's on the little one the one that stops at your shins or so oh Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've seen those.

Did the wheel face forward or like? He parked by him in the mailbox and walked up. Did he tell you a riddle? I was cursing so much he didn't get a chance to tell me. I really hope he's not an official of some kind. But you wouldn't think he'd be on a Segway if he had any power at all. Kyle, those are called electric unicycles and they are super badass yeah both wheels side by sides oh that might be a hoverboard the electric unicycles they uh it's

like euc or something is the acronym they use outrageous my friend has one he goes 47 miles an hour on the thing he wears motorcycle protective gear like a dirt bike helmet and elbow pads and shit and you need it because they just like you wipe out on that shit all the time uh but it it's like you remember that clip of in jackass when ryan dunn intentionally crashes that penny farthing bicycle where like it's the one with the giant front wheel oh yeah yeah yeah and so he's like 11 feet in the air and then he crashes it and falls so fucking hard that's an electric way higher than that this is what that fucker was was using no again i keep saying what he said kyle said that guy's wheels were side to side that's a if you google a hoverboard they shouldn't have called them

hoverboard they're just trying to get clout from back to the future and they don't hover they they have wheels i could see them those were destroyed by mall cops because they went from like a cool futuristic mode of transportation when i was like in high school and they came out to immediately yeah the segue like they threw all the mall cops on it and that is the only place i've ever seen one ever and now malls are all closed. And actual cops maybe. But yeah, I think you're right. The hoverboard is what you have in Central Park with the wheels. Central Park maybe. Actually, no, they just have horses.

No, they do. They have horses and then they have the bike ones, but I've also seen the guys that are on the hover, like on the segways, patrolling through Central Park is actually pretty great. People are jogging and stuff. They're not cool. They're not cool. I'm not trying to say they're cool.

I'm trying to say they're kind of cool, though. I've never ridden one, but I want to ride one. Do you remember that thing I had? You want to become segway guys, Woody? I've heard it said that they're like fat chicks. They're a lot of fun to ride. You just don't want your friends to see you doing it.

Oh, yes. I mean, I'll let my friends watch me segue around. That's not where I was hoping. Me and a big fat bitch just on a segue going four miles an hour. Those go. Can you just walk next to me? I think at that point you might as well just walk. Can you just walk next to me?

I think at that point you might as well just walk. Yeah. It's like a way to get where you were going if you're really concerned on like hoarding calories. Like I can't burn these calories. I need them. Like you walk outside your front lawn, you're like, oh, too many calories burned. Too many calories just overstocked.

Some bring the Segway and then you just hop on and just ride off off to the sunset or like an off road segue. I had one. I had an off road one. Yeah, like six thousand dollars a piece. It's a gasoline engine and you've got rubber treads on each side like a tank. And you've got a post that comes up like the old school seat. So you've got accelerator and brakes and everything up top.

But if you try to brake at full speed, you just crash because it's a tank moving 35 miles per hour. 35, 45, but that's with the governor on it. They can open it up and take it up to past 60, which I never did. Oh, boy. And it's loud and fun. And when you turn, you lean,

because you're standing on a skateboard, by the way. I forgot that part. The skateboard is on top of the tank tread. Yes. And the skateboard is pointed, you know, like we're going that way. You're standing with your sort of sideways on this thing. And the skateboard's got spikes sticking up out of it so you can't slip in your boots. And you turn by shifting your weight heels to balls of your feet, kind of doing that on the skateboard.

And that shift of weight changes the amount of power that goes to the right track or the left track at full speed. So it can do some crazy. It'll do. This sounds like an absolute. I've never even heard of this and I want to play on one. That sounds like so much fun. I still got one of them.

I sent the other to Sig to put some machine guns on and I never sent it back. Some guy at Sig is having a great time. Yeah, it's in Florida right now. So it's basically like snowboarding on land. Last time I saw it, it had two MPX machine guns, like mounted to the post that goes up for the accelerator and everything. But that's, you know, it's been a minute.

That thing's pretty neat. But that's the only thing i've ever ridden even in that class like like woody's always been really good at balance going back from skateboarding and surfing god knows how many other little hobbies i remember when i visited him he had some sort of death ball to balance on i stood on that thing for like three seconds and i was like this is a trick this is a booby trap this is so intruders will fall and fucking die it was just a ball part of that was to rehab a broken bone or something i learned immediately i did not have the same kind of balance skills as mr gamer tag my goodness

did you ever have those like almost tom sawyer moments where like something looked like a lot of fun and you got tricked into it like i remember remember this, this, this hockey camp I went to, they had this really cool escalator or not escalator, like a treadmill. And it had hard clear plastic on it that you could skate on. Like you could skate into it and it inclined. So you could incline it a huge amount and force people to skate inclined. And they had a harness that would strap around you it was in this big giant apparatus and so if you accidentally fell you wouldn't tumble to the ground behind you it would catch you and i remember watching like my friends do that and being like oh it looks like so much fun like and i'd watch them like tilt it up more and more and i'm a goalie

and so i was watching players do it and obviously they're having more fun and then like i got on there and it was maybe like 25 seconds before i was like you got me like this is just unbelievably hard work and like it's one of those things where it's like a movie where like as you're skating like it gets like five minutes in you're skating slower so now your strides are like kind of clipping the end of the treadmill like you're not like you're close to falling. And the coach is like, keep going. Keep going. Don't fall. You're going to be the first one to fall today. And I'm like, I'm the only goalie here.

Were you in goalie pads skating like this? Yes. You have to skate in goalie pads. That's silly. What's the point of that? Only lower body. I didn't have to wear the upper body stuff. That still doesn't make sense, though, if it's just for exercise.

Because your locomotion is different. Like you can't push the same off the side god that sucked do you really need that sort of skill if you're a goalie what shouldn't you be stretching somewhere or having tennis balls thrown at you yeah what i really should have been doing was like the stuff i already did was like juggling tennis balls off the wall like having people shoot on me but you know when you're at like a little hockey camp and it's you and like five of your buddies and you're the only goalie and they're all doing their own thing it's very isolating being the only goalie at the hockey camp because you're like looking at your friends and then your own individual coach comes to you and goes hey taylor we're gonna go somewhere you can't hear your friends laugh i bet it's like

that for kickers if you're a kicker and and football like it's like that there's so many pitchers and it doesn't matter at early levels though have you seen that nfl there's some i don't remember what podcast it was on there's just a clip i saw this nfl player being asked like so it's like a total myth nonsense that kickers place kickers punters like they're there at practice they're they're working with you guys and this guy was like seriously no no not at all those guys jog around and then do like seven kicks and then they're in the spa for three hours like we all hate the kickers they all make so much money like also and they're just kind of like yeah man, man, my foot, I'm not feeling it today. My foot's feeling Bermuda. And then they just go do whatever they want to do.

That's a whole different game, though. You'd ask that receiver or whatever that was fucking mad or jealous or whatever. It's like, how many catches did you get yesterday? You only kicked three balls. You caught eight balls. But how many receptions did you get? It's a whole other thing. They'll go out there, and they'll have to win the game off the bench.

Not cold, because they warm up, obviously, but that's such an ask to jump into a game that really you haven't been doing much in and go win it. It's like, all right, Taylor, all of us have been working so hard to get it to this moment. We need you to go out there and kick it in. Send us home with a W. Do the one thing you do do it i mean it is a very harsh job you know like like because if you screw that up like

how many times have kickers like over the years been on these teams and then like screwed up a kick and then just like off the team next season because they're like you didn't do the one thing we asked you to do and we're paying you a lot of money peace and then that's it last year maybe it might have been the eagles kicker he he had made like some ungodly amount in a row they're like he's made 97 in a row oh yeah yeah yeah and then he missed like three in a row or something like that and it was like i mean if you miss a fourth what do we do you know at some point we gotta stop now this is awkward you know it's crazy how much sports is mental right like golf oh my gosh like these guys have the same body every weekend they play yet they get very different performances and it's just between their ears it's how do you get that

straight how do you make i find that interesting like in golf too because i know so little about golf that like until i talk to my brother or a friend who's really into it, I won't even like fully consider. I'll be like, why is this guy's fucking sucks now? It's like, well, this course has this sort of lie and this sort of fairway structure. And he doesn't do well on that. And it's like, oh, I'm such a golf novice. Like I really I always thought like it's all got sand sand like it's all similar josh and i guess i guess that's not true at all i guess some golf courses are legitimately like like regular people couldn't play there and have any fun at all i saw john daly i saw john daly talking about tiger woods he's like we was all in the bar drinking and tiger woods walked in

come drink with us we's playing in the morning morning. Nah, I'm going to go run. The way five sheets to the wind. I'd already had me one bottle and we was working on the second ball. And it was, I mean, I had finished a bottle. You have to understand. And then Tiger come back in about three, three hours later. Tiger sit down with us, have a drink. I'm going to go hit some balls. He went and hit balls.

Two more hours later it's almost 11 p.m it's getting toward bedtime they come back in tires have a drink with us i'm gonna go swim in the pool tiger went to bed hell i didn't i didn't i just stayed up all night had me three bottles whooped his ass the next day it's like wow what how does that happen like how does that happen how's that big fat tiger sounds exhausted yeah that's what i thought too i was like tiger's fucking exhausted he's got yeah he's got blisters on his palm see but we'd be working out hours before meat i bet john daly was like my body knows every bit of muscle memory it's needed to do what it has to do. Like, it doesn't matter.

I'm going to get drunk and like rip darts, like throwing cigarettes on Augusta. Like, just like not caring. No, I wish there were more outliers in sports like that. The guys that are like that that maybe the traditionalists don't care for are the ones that always pull the sport kicking and screaming into the next era and get more eyes on it and stuff. You need those colorful, silly guys that at first are like, you're making a mockery of our sport. We should be bowing

to each other. Nobody was watching the bowing shit. This ain't Kung Fu. Let's have a little fun here. I was in the yard yesterday and I've been to this place a month now and I haven't quite explored all of the backyard. There's a lot of

ground to cover out there and I was walking around exploring and suddenly I realized my feet were covered with something. I didn't know what it was but I knew it was attacking me. I thought I had stood in fire ants, which we have here in Georgia. They're a South American ant that came over in the sugar shipments back in the day and they fucking hurt.

And, uh, but it's not. So as I'm sprinting toward the house, that's when I'm sort of learning what's on me. Cause I'm like hitting my feet and screaming. It's wasps. It's,

it's a, it's a whole yellow jacket nest that I've been standing on. They have these burrows in the ground. There can be hundreds and hundreds of them in there, little stinging wasps. And they're all over my feet and my sweatpants. And I've shed my shoes. I've shed my sunglasses. I'm screaming very effeminately. And the dog is with me and he's trying to fight them off me too. And now I'm in my gym, which is attached to the house and I'm naked. I've shed all my clothes now and thrown them into the house and I'm in my gym, which is attached to the house, and I'm naked. I've shed all my clothes now and thrown them into the house. I'm in the house

screaming, and all the dogs are with me. Toby's got wasps on him, so I'm fighting the wasps off Toby. I'm reaching in. I'm just grabbing them off of him and squishing them. In your house now. You were in the house fighting them. They're still swarming, though. Now I'm still naked and turn my

attention toward my clothes. Clothes are full of of them there's like eight wash in my pants go all those they stung me like five fucking times stung poor toby twice but we won that we won you won the war that's when i first learned on this over the whatsapp our conversation bro getting stung hurts so much more than like you remember it is hurting it is so pain i i got stung by a bee once this is you know not as bad as a wasp i think and i was like god damn like i haven't been stung since i was a kid and as a kid i would cry now well that right's been removed from me but i wanna this hurts a ton so So I haven't done it since I was a kid because I'm a man. But

if you want to really deal with the pain of a bee sting, if you've got old school aspirin, if you've got old school aspirin, the kind that's in a little tablet that'll dissolve. This is going to start nicely. You know, you just put the little old school like baby aspirin on there and just rub

it in with a little bit of water until it kind of turns into a paste. I thought you were going to do a bump. Do a what? Get you a little. Because you need it quickly. You rub the aspirin into your skin in an effort to hurt yourself? No, it becomes a paste. It turns into a powder with a little bit of water.

And aspirin is a painkiller, obviously. So it can work as a topical painkiller. And it becomes a paste. It turns into a powder with a little bit of water. And aspirin is a painkiller, obviously. So it can work as a topical painkiller. And it'll very quickly. Oh, that's where this is headed. You were like, hey, you started with if you want to feel the pain of a sting, do this. Yeah, yeah. That's why I was confused. Oh, yeah.

Maybe I was afraid to not feel the pain. No, I want to. Because I'm on pins and needles. I want to know how do I feel the pain of a sting without getting hurt. You can just go grab some bees. I guess that's the only option at that point. Aren't yellow jackets the ones that pursue until you're a given distance away from the nest? They keep staying on you?

I don't know of any study about about that but i'll say they are extremely aggressive uh they they stayed stuck to me and when they when i would find them in my clothes inside they want they didn't want to get away they wanted to fight when they when i would open up my pants leg and one would swarm out he didn't he didn't zoom across the other end of the room he came at me and like hit my shirt and i had to like the fight was on like you know it's a walk so i won but it was over there was like eight of them it was on you all right how many of the stings were inside the house oh at least one one for sure yeah at least one yeah they stung me on like the inside of my arm on my back my ass, and a bunch of my foot.

At least once on my heel. It was in the ground, right? Is what you said? Yeah, they're in the ground in this burrow. I didn't know that. I don't know if they're up north or around the country. But I remember once we were bow hunting deer. And the way you do that, you stalk in with all all your gear you put some of your gear on the ground and then you take your deer stand and you

use it to climb up the tree and then you hoist your your bow or your gun up with you and when my dad sat his bow on the ground he sat it right on top of one of those burrows one of those nests and so he's fixing all of his gear getting his climbing deer stand and everything and he looks back down and it's covered with them it's crawling with them he's just oh fuck there's a string tied to it so he just has to drag it like give himself 30 40 feet of slack and start dragging it through a field when he's supposed to be deer hunting and they're swarming and chasing him so now he's running with the bow and they're chasing him and the bow through the field yeah they're real aggressive but i was a little kid my uh my mom like leaned too hard on the don't be afraid of

bees thing when i was like a young kid to the point that like i had not even a vaguely healthy fear of bees like i knew wasps were the the skinny ones and all i understood about them was like they can sting forever steer clear of them but i thought that like bees you had to like actively try to kill them for them to sting you because my mom put it in my head like that's like right I had like a level of morality imposed on bees where I'm like they will know I'm here to like try and catch them and I did catch bees yeah to be their friend to be their friend to be like like my dad and mom used to tell this story they'd be like yeah you just walk up to us on the the patio sometimes and you were like four and be like you'd be like what do you got taylor and you just open your hands and you'd have bees

like yeah or at least a bee and i that stopped when uh i remember i used to think taylor was so smart that it spoke to parents parents when you showed them bees? I guaranteed that it got a reaction, and that's what made me want to do it, probably. But yeah, that stopped when I grabbed one big, fat bumblebee that was on my hot dog, and it stung me. I remember distinctly, I was about 8 to 10, somewhere in there. I couldn't have been much much older and i caught this little lizard this little maybe four or five inches long and i had it in my hands like this and i went to my dad my mom and dad were on the back porch relaxing i think they're having some drinks

they're just laid back in their chairs and i think i tossed it on him and he fell backwards out of the chair and he beat the shit out of me. I guarantee my mom remembers that ass whooping I took. And I know my dad does. He brought it up a couple of years ago. He's with my ass. I scared the shit out of him with that lizard. Just like, ah!

My uncle is terrified of snakes and rats. So he always goes straight to the shotgun, even if's indoors like he arms himself right away yeah yeah he's blown holes in his house before dealing with like a rat snake and oh he said the funniest that's doubly scary for him actually it could be a solution yeah not anymore uh but he he said um why would you shoot a snake like that in the house he's like if he got in a way i had to i'd have had to burn the whole damn thing down i couldn't live with him couldn't live with him crawling around in here tonight and it's true like if there was a snake in your house i would have a real hard time going to sleep in that house and not because they can they can just kill it with a hockey stick

and then you sleep soundly. What if it gets away, though? Into the house? He didn't get away. It's a rat snake. It's not a woody snake. I assume I'm fine. It seems like we could be friends. You know how you let spiders stay alive?

I always let house snakes live. It's genius, yeah. And if the snakes are too much, that's why I never kill the spider monkeys. Yeah. You have an increasingly more dangerous predatory chain of animals. No, don't kill that. That's the snake hawk. Don't kill the cougars or the spider monkeys.

Get out of control. Exactly. Dad was in the backyard shooting his pistol one time this is forever ago i was five when this happened but apparently my mom screamed because there was a mouse in the cupboard and he comes running in the house of course with his pistol in hand and there the mouse is i've never asked him why, but the answer has to be, man, there he was, and I had the gun and all. Oh, no. And he'd have been younger. He wanted new cabinets.

Of course. He vaporized it. I was like, was there much cleanup? Oh, no. Just patching the hole. Just patching the hole. It didn't explode it near all your nice dishware? Oh, I'm sure it did it would just

vaporized it though it was a big gun nothing left nothing left i wouldn't want to shoot any animal in my house because you'd be thinking the whole time about the amount of errands chores and work you're making for yourself you gotta pick that shit up and carpeting and it's gonna explode you think the viscera the snake's gonna come off your drywall and your carpet? Yeah, no problem. A little viscera here and there. A little bit here and there. A little light viscera is good for the decor.

That adds character to the laundry room when you've slain a few critters in there. Okay, I got no problem with that at all. What's the biggest thing you guys have ever killed in your house? In my house? Or apartment, whatever. There was that drifter yeah no but he was bad he was bad so i murdered a human one time he was a great drifter biggest thing i can think of that euthanized a pet rat euthanized it yeah i used uh flew him to

sweden dry ice which is frozen carbon dioxide i think and just smashed him with it and he just falls asleep and then asphyxiates and apparently it's a kind way to kill a rat i googled it the nicest way to kill a rat i'm it just it. The nicest way to kill a rat. It just goes sweetly to sleep. Is it going like, do you hear like It was already very sick. It had a large tumor on its side. I've done it more than once.

This is basically putting rats down like you would a dog. My daughter likes pet rats. She has them now. Not in my house. Not in my fucking house. I'm going to have to put my dog down soon. The little 16-year-old Pomeranian. I feel real bad.

I'm going to try one more thing. I'm going to get it a little oxygen tent and put it on oxygen. See if that helps. Just like Ashley Seals. I need wings to do to come on and make a video where he holds a pen across his hands a lot

and says, so Ashley, while I'm using you for clout as you die in front of us. I wish you could race. I remember this. I assumed everyone knew who Ashley Seals was, which is not good. She is the girl with

maybe cerebral palsy. Cerebral palsy, perhaps. I'm not positive on that, though. But Wing said that if you donated money towards this cause and help her get into a bariatric chamber, then it might help her walk.

his heart was in the right place, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Whoever's joke it was that I think you said you should start going to graveyards and doing videos. Yeah, we were going to one-up each other. He was like, dude, this is working great. Everyone loves this. I'm going to help

out more sick people. I was like, that's this. I'm going to help out more sick people. And I was like, that's nothing. I'm going to do seances and shit. You go to hospice care. I'm going to the graveyard. You can't get one of me on this. You can't remove me from every children's hospital.

I've been doing some research. I've been trying to figure out how to oxygenate this little fucking dog. I think I can get like a little doggy tent that I just turn the O2 onto and she can sit next to me on the couch on her pillow. You could put her in a little iron lung. That's exactly what I'm thinking. What is an

iron lung? It's an old school bariatric chamber. Okay. It's an airtight little chamber that you just dump oxygen into. Yeah. I don't think it really needs to be airtight because you just keep the constant flow going with what I'm doing. With a bariatric chamber. Iron lung, your head's sticking out.

And so you're like chatting with your head out. And I think that's for a long time the only thing they had for polio, right? So you don't breathe in it? It breathes for you. And so it's like... Where's the air go in? They cut a hole in your lung? I thought they were all tubed up in there. I don't know.

Tubed up in there? That is not how a bariatric chamber works. They're not all tubed up? No. They're pressurized in there. Here's a Spongebob cartoon. Thank you. This is Mrs. Puff in a bariatric chamber. You see the balloon in the back?

Now that represents that the device has not been turned on. Obviously that balloon will be in place. Looks like there's no pickles on his sandwich. I like the people on the side of the iron lung. Yeah. Zach says it supports your diaphragm to work.

Bariatric chamber suggests that you're pressurized or depressurized. Your body is in there which might make it easier for you to inflate or yeah i guess i'm an idiot what the fuck would the point of the giant tube be if you were all plugged up anyway they just put you in bed but i'm not gonna put my dog in that i'm just gonna get a little oxygen although that would be it would look adorable how do you put her in a little i'm picturing a small tent or something exactly pipe oxygen into it it's a square little doggy tent that looks like a dog carrier. And then you can just pump O2 to her.

Right now, the question is the cheapest way to get O2, whether I get canisters or an oxygen concentrator. So that's what I'm looking at right now. What is an oxygen concentrator? I'm curious, man. I'm in the research. It's exactly what it sounds like. Just pulls it out of the air? Yeah has our air has a pretty low oxygen content i think it's like

13 or 16 percent of our air is oxygen so it you know pumps those numbers up and then gives it to the animal so you'll have an oxygen generator you'll have an endless supply of oxygen oh yeah just like you do, Woody, in the air. Yeah, but I can make it. Yeah, you'll be able to make O2. That could be useful for something else. I don't know. This is sad.

What altitude do you drive? Wait, wait, wait. Did you see the Photoshop on that one? That was unbelievable. It didn't see it it was so rough at the bottom it was pull it back up you just see that again oh god yeah look at that that is just great there's like no shadowing underneath that right leg you know like the dog such a miserable in there. You can tell because they picked a not dying dog.

Also, they put the tail covering the nether region area of the dog to protect it for whatever reason. Look at the hair. Is this one of those Amazon listings where the company's name is like X Factor and the description is like air in tube for dog. Air good. Oxygen all. Air Factor X. And then they just.

Made in China. And all the reviews are like, my dog still died. I'll make Chinese air. There's as good as ours, I'm told. Oxygenforpets.com. That seems like where you should go shopping. My dog died and all I got was this lousy air tent.

Maybe you can get a t-shirt for it. And I was thinking, like, maybe you know me, I would like to do cardio and test my performance on and off oxygen or something like that. I would love to do things like that we just watched we just had a ufc event that was at salt lake city which is at roughly 5 000 feet

of altitude and you could see it affect a lot of people um and and so i don't know i'd like to experience that the last time i was in colorado i remember not being short of breath but i was super short of breath last time i was out there because i i was out there years ago to commentate the like these series of tournaments i would fly in and out every week so my like body had to adjust to that altitude every time and after a while it got there but in the beginning i would start commentating like a whole sentence and then i'd need just and then i just go back casting more like like talking more and then i have to take another big gasp of breath again and it was a lot to work around so

yeah that is a and we were like i don't know exactly like where we were but all i know is we were high up and i walked outside and i saw a lot of mountains so i'm assuming we were very high up but yeah pretty much from new York. So I know nothing about altitude. Yeah, that's definitely the highest I've been in Colorado, both literally and literally. Yeah. And you notice it for sure. I don't know. I was I don't know how to say this without sounding shitty, but I was in really good shape, you know, when I was there.

So I was I was running, you know, miles and miles a week. So maybe didn't, but I remember I've gone times past. And especially when you'd be smoking weed, because it usually be a weak Asian for me, the coughing and everything. You'd really be like, Oh yeah, that should have to slow down. I just remembered. I saw your blue shirt and It made me think of it. This month, we're having a blue moon. I don't know who he's talking to.

It doesn't matter. We're having a blue moon this month? Yeah, it's a blue moon. What does that mean? So in modern times, a blue moon means that you have two full moons and one calendar month. In olden times, which is where the saying comes from, it meant that it was the third full moon in a four full moon season. Kind of irrelevant information, but now you know.

But this month in particular, two full moons. We already had the first one, obviously, at the beginning of the month. On the end of the month, we're having another one, and it's a super moon because we're at our Apogee Peregrigree which one's the oh that's i think perigree is the is when we're closest to uh the moon uh and apogee is when we're at its furthest so we're getting like an eight percent more powerful moon than normal because

we're closer and full but on top of that on the on the night of the 16th slash 17th we're getting a meteor shower it's that once in-in-33-year meteor shower where we pass through the tail of that comet. I can't remember what it's called. Who can see it? We'll be able to see it. Not Halley's Comet, right? No, not that one.

It's, I could look. It doesn't matter. It's some numbers, and it's named after two scientists, so it wouldn't matter. But our atmosphere is seeing it or whatever. Yeah, it's supposed to peak out at 150 meteors per hour uh at one point of course that's the entire sky so you're not going to see anything like that but these are really fast meteorites they say uh i don't know i think i read something like four miles per second and so i'll be able to see them it should

be a did you guys hear about nasa opening a streaming service? I did not. Yeah. Odd. No, actually kind of cool. Uh, they, I have to find the article,

but like they're, they're going to open up a streaming service where you could just watch the launches and stuff that they do. And, and then like, like track the satellite. So like, if you're into that kind of thing,

you know, and, and there are a lot of people who genuinely love just staring at that stuff. All that content apparently will be available. I'll see if I can find it. But I thought you did all that. Like, is it just SpaceX that streams their launches and whatnot? NASA has always shown the wide angle, right?

Yeah. Here's the press release for it. I put it in the chat for you guys. But yeah, they announced it like a few days ago. Basically, the idea is to just make, you know, like merge everything together through like the NASA app, you know, because everything's got to be an app nowadays. Oh, my God.

It's called NASA Plus. No, is it? Oh, but the plus looks like a star, so I'm kind of okay with it. NASA Plus. I wonder if it's good or if it sucks. When I worked in IT, we used to always look at the way that NASA does their IT. Yeah.

We used to always look at the way that NASA does their IT, and it's incredibly conservative. Their chips are like seven years old because they know all the bugs. Everything's been found. Like if they use a Java virtual machine or something, it's from it's archaic and it doesn't have any of the new shit in it. And it's because they're after reliability.

And even if it's buggy, if they're known bugs, NASA can work with it. It's the unknown bugs they have a problem with. So i wonder if the streaming service is going to be straight out of fucking 2004 like everything else nasa you know it'd be hilarious i hope it's similar to like 2013 what if like like 2013 hulu they have an excellent ui like they just because that is effectively something that is worse now than streaming services used to be every single user interface hulu is the worst i don't know whose

niece got hired to design hulu's user interface but it's like spit in my face why don't you you can't even like go to the next episode of. You have to back out and then select, I want to play this again. And then if you back out a second time, it'll say, oh, I guess you really didn't want to watch this episode of King of the Hill again. It's like, you bitch, I only used this for three shows. Get it right.

It's so hard to watch 10 minutes of an Always Sunny episode, close Hulu, leave the room, and come back and get back into that episode and watch it it's so fucking hard to do that and it should be it's the only thing i want from you it should be the first thing when i press hulu resume playing yes yes resume playing that's all i want there's no but no you have to scroll down through a million ads and it's like hey here's 50 of the gayest movies you've ever heard of and it's like why like just cool man i just wanted to watch sunny that's it you know like like i'm fine with your gay movies but that's not king of the hill i'll always appreciate netflix for that though netflix always has to continue watching front

center that is always something that I will appreciate. As a person who every night pulls up his Netflix and goes to community and puts it on and falls asleep while getting absolutely high, it's a great feeling. I love that. I love this about Netflix. Like you said, the continue watching, they've got that on lockdown. But get this.

If I just watched this episode and I continue watching into the next one, Netflix assumes correctly I don't want a recap of the episode I watched seconds ago. And the intro, they're like, hey, would you want to skip this intro? One button. You press it and it does it. And it doesn't skip all the intro. It leaves like half a second. So you know you didn't miss anything.

That's nice. That's nice. Paramount Plus. Star Trek has a great intro. Oh, God. It's the best one. But I skip it after I've binged three episodes in a row. I was like, all right.

I get Strange New Worlds, Brave New whatever. And it skips you six seconds into the first scene. I missed the setup. Not only do you miss that quick little bit where the ship floats past you in space while you hear space noise, I guess. There's that little jingle

at the end, you know what I mean? It's the beginning of sentences. You don't know what we're talking about. It's real frustrating to only have that dialed in. um again i gotta recommend that show strange um how did i get it strange new worlds new worlds then you start track real good season two uh has been great i love it a lot the black doctor i fucking love that guy that guy's so goddamn hard nagoya i think it is yeah like he has a crazy arc i haven't finished first season, but his arc in the first season was awesome.

I don't want to spoil anything to you, but let me tell you how they keep hinting at his because he fought in the Klingon War and they keep hinting about how scary he was and what a badass he was. And we finally get to it and he's got the most confirmed close quarters kills in Starfleet.

He's using this super serum full of adrenaline got the most confirmed close quarters kills in Starfleet. He's using this super serum full of adrenaline and painkillers that soups him up so he can just go take on multiple Klingons at a time in close quarters combat. It's how Castillo plays Tarkov. Yeah. That guy's awesome.

I love that show. I like all the actors it um i i don't find it to be so woke that it makes me like grossed out or anything i don't roll my eyes too often and the star trek though you know i mean star trek's been that way for years yeah you know i always get i always laugh yeah i make that thing was like oh when star trek been walking it's like i haven't been paying close enough attention like episode 60 years ago yeah i mean you can still go too far and lose me aren't they space communists basically like like they're all well yeah but it's but it was also the first show to have an it was the first show to do an interracial kiss on tv which was like massive at the time yeah i mean like people were telling nichelle nichols like like not to do it and stuff because they had interspecies fucking

kirk loves those orion slave girls. That's wrong. Didn't they bring that back in the third reboot? The third Pine movie, I think it is. There's lots of green bitches. Yeah. He always has one. Yeah, for sure. Kirk loves green pussy. Nothing wrong

with that. I like the new one a lot. I find it to have a really good sense of humor. There's a lot of quirky awkwardness between Spock and his fiance. Oh, yeah. He's got a shitty mother-in-law. I know it starts... It's nice that they balance Spock's mother-in-law

with fixing an asteroid problem that's about to hit a planet or something like that. I care about each story equally because Spock's mother-in-law is just a real cunt. Just awful. Yeah, I love that show a lot. I've been digging it so much.

I just wanted a Star Trek that was Adventure of the Day again. You know? That's exactly what you're getting. That's when Star Trek was at its best. Every week, a new adventure. Great thoughts. Apparently, this week,

I can't wait to catch up because this week's this big musical thing. And Anson Mount, he did Broadway. These guys are like... Take that one. I'm into it because i like the weird ones too you know like i like star trek again it's at its best when it's weird and and it's at its best when it's doing space exploration shit you know i i love that about it do you watch uh lord x the animated yes that shows so no spoilers but they just did a crossover where the animated characters go i haven't seen that yet i haven't seen that yet

and i'm really excited uh but it also doesn't make a lot of sense though because the uh lower deck characters are mostly taking place in the era of the future yeah yeah explain that they go through a time portal say no more fam first 30 seconds it's like and they explain the whole thing and the time travel is a big part of the episode uh do a great job and i didn't know that the guy who does the i didn't know that huey from the boys was the voice of boimler from lower decks this whole time yeah so it was cool to see that actor jump on the Trek. It's got to be such a cool thing for people who

are Star Trek nerds to be able to get on an episode. In the most recent episode, I saw Clint Howard. I guarantee Clint Howard was like, did you get me in Star Trek? They're like, absolutely. Ron Howard's brother. We can put you in Star Trek, you ugly son of a bitch.

Was he a Klingon? No, he's like a triage medic or something like that. It's usually like a behind the scenes role or not behind the scenes, but it's usually like a small role and then they'll give him like a few lines

and stuff and then they'll send him off their merry way on the next episode. It was like I don't know if you guys watch any of the star wars stuff uh but they did a mandalorian episode like everyone was so mad because like jack black and lizzo were on it and and my wife made up a she brought up a really good point she was like the the cameo was cool because you know that like those two people like jack black especially i'm a huge jack black fan and he is a mega star wars fanatic right so you know that he and also lizzo are like really excited to be a part of this thing you know because it's star trek and star wars and how could you not want to be a part of it right um but it kind of takes you away from it you know because like you know who jack black

is you know who lizzo is and they don't really change the way that they looked they just took jack black and lizzo gave them nice outfits and then put them in the star wars world yeah it didn't bother me honestly and maybe it's because i'm not taking the mandalorian or star wars canon all that seriously but i actually look i hate look at that i legit don't know what lizzo looks like. I wouldn't, if I was in the elevator with Lizzo, I'd have no idea.

Yeah. And that's fine because it's not like not your music or anything like that. You know, like we're about to talk lots of Lizzo. Oh God. So I don't know that she's in trouble. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh yeah. I heard about that. Right. She's been at the heart of like a whole fat acceptance movement. You know, she's got them big bitches on stage with her dancing around. It turns out she was running a real abusive show over there. It seems like they're fat shaming her already fat backup dancers.

She's having them do all sorts of weird things. I'm sure Zach has an article somewhere to nitpick through, but the striking one was where she was forcing her backup dancers to take bites out of vaginas that were no, bites out of bananas that were protruding from prostitutes' vaginas in Amsterdam. I wanted to conflate vagina

and banana because Lizzo did. She put bananas in vaginas and had her dancers eat them out of their vaginas, and some of them didn't want to, and I guess maybe they got ininas and some of them didn't want to i guess maybe they got in a little bit of trouble because that makes a lot of sense it's like or was this just this is what she likes to do as a saturday night taylor i i so my friend my friends my friend who's like a big fan of her music and stuff was telling me about it and she

was basically saying like yeah literally that and that it was just like for those particular like artists like the dancers and stuff like they were just uncomfortable and then they were told that they had to do it which is like if someone's uncomfortable and you're telling them you have to do it there's no you're not winning there you know like there's no victory to be had you're you're forcing someone to do something that they don't want to do plain and simple you know the only one that thinks that's kind of straight like like if she made her backup dancers go down on the women then that's gay right girl on girl but you put a banana in there and now it's straight again i don't think that that's where they're going now you're just

now you're just eating it's just a bizarre thing that rich people do what was she doing? what is the stage setting? she's sitting I imagine in a very strong chair it is a very she's dancing and running around and jumping around

the whole time jumping and rolling and frothing about she's really she's froths she gets after it yeah okay so it doesn't while this is all happening they're saying she's running around and just kind of watching as her backup dancers are biting the bananas out of the pussies of her other backup dancers oh is that what was happening like on stage no no no no are you picturing it to be on stage no i'm picturing like this is you said this is like

a saturday night thing this was not on stage correct she hires prostitutes whores ladies of the night as our last guest would say and and and puts bananas in their pussies and then forces the backup dancers to eat the bananas out of i. I get it now. That's pretty gross. I wouldn't like that. Yeah, I wouldn't care for it. Wow, I'm actually reading this article right now. So apparently... I kind of like it. They were also trying to get them to switch to their religion.

The suit also accuses Quigley, the captain of Lizzo's dance team, of trying to convert them, the three dancers who are suing, to their religion religion calling her alleged behavior unceasing i don't even unceasing while also chastising them for having premarital sex what wait they're eating bananas out of pussies cooters and being chastised for premarital sex it sounds like these are two different things. It sounds like there's a person named Quigley, something Quigley, Charlene Quigley.

Okay, so all three plaintiffs, Crystal Williams, Ariana Davis, and Noel Rodriguez performed with Lizzo at festivals and appearances from September 2021 to April 2022 during the special tour and went on to perform in the 2023 European run. Lizzo, her production company, and

Charlene Quigley are named as defendants of the suit. But it sounds like a majority of the things that they're doing or going after Quigley, but Lizzo's attached to it as well. I gotta read it more because i'm just kind of paraphrasing that first everyone's hating on lizzo but not me right what i'm hearing is fat

shaming and kinky sex and these are a few of my favorite things yes fat shaming is what he is a fat shaming king an absolute king i've said it before it might be my favorite thing about him is that he does not abide fatness what he is that guy like if it were acceptable in public you would be like like taking a photo of a fat person to like laugh at with jackie later like he's like a health nazi like an actual one like like i i it's good i'd vote for woody over any of these fucking money rounding them up in no time yeah it's what you do you put them on trains and you help them lose and then you're like no they see the trains and you're like oh no no we're walking no put us on the train please no i've set up a series of obstacle courses and tires on the way to this fat camp we're gonna get this country fit again fitness it's a good ass idea yeah this lawsuit

is uh interesting but also not again why is none of this shocking to me i don't know i've become so disillusioned on everything since since we last spoke so weird on the other hand though like i saw that taylor swift gave everybody that worked on her uh our latest tour like this enormous bonus that came to maybe was it 55 million dollars that she i have 25 in my head but i'm low confidence on that it was i think it was 55 million dollars was it? Give everybody a little bit of this. $55 million goes a long way. You divide that 250 ways and it's still a lot

for everybody. You consider how rich she is. And then also these people in this tour. These people are the reason why these shows even happen. I hear what you're saying but i don't see other rich people dividing 55 million dollars that's true like elon risk is i'm sorry elon musk

is super rich but i didn't hear about him like giving 55 million to what i assume is a couple hundred people he gave 54 billion to some rich guys and bought a twitter set thousands of people to put on her show might be not one not one show but it i i believe was the tour was the the way i heard it described the people who worked on her latest you know her tours have names like the resurgence tour or the oh yeah sources confirm that caterers truck drivers riggers dancers and more all receive bonuses from what zach is saying. That's awesome. It's an international tour, right? So I'm sure it's like fucking everywhere in the United States plus

eight European stops. Can you imagine coordinating that? That has to be really hard to coordinate with the different companies that issue out the paychecks. That's such a George Costanza job. Here's $55 million. Go diversify a George Costanza job. I really is.

$55 million. Go diversify it to the people who worked on my tour. But I worked for you. All of them died from the poison checks that you sent them. Zach said 250 people max. I'm not sure where that comes from. I don't know. $55 million divided 250 ways is a lot.

Yeah, it ain't that. It comes out that like one of the people is her cousin and it was 54.8 million dollars what's her cut like how much more profit can there be i i guess she's oh i bet it's enormous i mean she's taylor swift she's the biggest artist like alive right now right but like this tour alone i don't know actually i don't know anything about this business, but I wouldn't guess that she's making more than $250

million. She gave away $55 million. I thought I saw some graphic that she was blowing out big names like Jay-Z and stuff in income. We're talking about 52 Taylor Swift concerts, by the way.

So it's going to be enormous. It's going to be enormous. I don't know. What's the gate on a UFC event when they sell like 8,000 tickets? It's millions of dollars. And Taylor Swift is much bigger than the UFC. Are her tickets like $100, $200 for all of them? I hear you.

It is tough for me to translate gate into profit like there's so many people with their palm up along the way yeah she's here for him she's got 55 million dollars yeah like that's pretty cool how much does the arena get like more than half oh i don't even know oh wow okay so i have the list of the top 15 richest music artists in the world oh yeah top three easy okay let's i'm actually curious to hear what everyone's thoughts would be is it money made this year when was your list um this one was made in hold on uh july 13 2023 so okay so i'm not putting Kanye in the top three. And this is aggregate.

Is this just this year or this is their career? Below you can check the net worth and other important details about the world's richest musicians in 2023. So this is their net worth in 2023. I want to lock in Jay-Z.

All right. Let's do 2023. I want to lock in Jay-Z. Yeah. Let's do Jay-Z, Beyonce, Taylor Swift. In no order? It's my top three. I don't really have it. No order. Got it. I'm definitely not taking Beyonce on my team.

I'm taking Jay-Z, Taylor Swift, and Dr. Dre. No. He had that business that he sold for like a billion to Apple. That's true. We had to count all that crazy shit that Charles Barkley did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, but that was years ago, though. I'll say Snoop Doggop dog okay okay interesting you guys are a lot of you are going for either pop or hip-hop yeah keith irvin mine okay keith irvin all right we got keith irvin i don't know who's the big country oh garth brooks comes to mind oh garth brooks that's who i meant to say okay jay-z uh taylor swift and actually no i'm gonna i'm gonna call an audible here and say p diddy p diddy all right so here's the deal uh i'm gonna start from the from 15 up and we're just gonna go really fast okay all right first up number 15, Kanye West, $400 million.

Number 14, Taylor Swift, $570 million. Number 13, Julio Iglesias, $600 million, Spanish singer. Bruce Springsteen, number 12, $650 million. Number 11, Dolly Parton, $650 million. 10, Bono, $800 million. Nine, Dr. Dre, $650 million. Ten Bono, $800 million. Nine, Dr. Dre, $850. Then we have Madonna at eight with $850 as well. And then Herb Alpert is at $900 million.

I've never heard of him, but good on him. P. Diddy is number six at $900 million. Jimmy Buffett at $1 billion. Paul McCartney at $1.2 billion. And then this is the one that's going to really throw you for a loop number three is andrew lloyd weber at 1.3 billion dollars the musical guy the musical guy who might who maxwell sheffield famously hated in the nanny and then uh number two is rihanna at 1.4 billion and everyone got number one right it's jay-z jay-z in my defense billion shot fiance i meant rihanna i just don't know better so rihanna has to be because of the fenty business i think i think that's her business uh fenty

makeup which i know is massive because it's one of the only makeup brands that is made for people with different colored skins. It's inherently made for people with a large palette of different skin tones. So I know that's why that makeup line popped off because even my wife buys it, and my wife doesn't even buy makeup that much. I wonder how many of them are super rich off their music. because like even my wife buys it and my wife doesn't even buy makeup that much so i wonder how many of them are super rich off their music like better yet how many of them are not super rich like like dr dre for example 850 billion i think a lot of that might have been producing and investments i wasn't sure 50 cent would be on there didn't he have vitamin water money or something yeah but he went bankrupt and hit a lot of his wealth a few years ago and he was also just

an investor in vitamin water he didn't actually like i think he was like an initial investor in vitamin water for like mostly clout and stuff and so like get it into the hood and like get get you know people like drinking because i remember back in the day when i was growing up in the bronx like you everywhere you went you would see vitamin water. And it would always be 50 Cent. Just promoting it on the front. So everyone stopped drinking Gatorade, Powerade, any of those other drinks, and they were just chugging vitamin waters. I'm like, I don't think this is much better, guys.

Yeah, I remember thinking it was really good for you because you'd see the commercials and you'd be like, well, 50 Cent is shredded. And the name of it. vitamin water right they could call it protein water or something be like well shit i guess the primary ingredients either protein or water how predatory is that like reading the back of a vitamin water that should be illegal it's got more soda than two cokes like i'm almost certain the first ingredient in vitamin water is like not even water it's it's i think it's like sugar or some some dextrose thing or whatever you know it's

probably water but yeah it can't be water bro it can't be water it's not even it's even worse than gatorade and gatorade sucks i like it dude you had body armor like wait how are you measuring it by taste or by health oh by taste so i drink gatorade zero so it's no fucking calories anyway or if it is it's like the whole bottle's got 30 calories and it's like i burnt that getting dressed so okay the first is water but i don't like water i don't like just drinking straight up water i almost never do it uh but i drink um tons of everything else straight water i almost never do it uh but i drink um tons of everything else straight water i've never had a vitamin water in my life i don't know what it tastes like or what the flavors are like i remember when that came out thinking that was

ghetto water and and that the idea of putting vitamins in water was so it was like you took the you didn't even take a step forward before you took a step back bro you got any spinach water? I don't want any. No, no thanks. No vitamin water for me. I want some rutabaga water. You got any turnip water?

Get out of here. Our interpretations of ghetto water is very different as well, by the way, which I love. But that's it, man. That's America. Yeah, I mean, when I looked at it, it was never never um like all right when i watch an apple commercial it has a certain look to it the people using the products and the you know the environment they're in and then i watched a vitamin water commercial yeah it looks it's the hood i mean i i dude i didn't know that i've never seen a vitamin water commercial to me it was just somebody trying to

trick you into healthy water like a healthy drink gatorade but healthier is what vitamin water is i think they're trying to trick i don't think they're trying to trick you into healthy water, like a healthy drink. Gatorade, but healthier is what vitamin water is. I think they're trying to trick. I don't think they're trying to trick me, but I could tell they're trying to trick somebody into drinking water, and I won't be part of their bag. No, I've never had it. No, it was literally trying to trick people

into thinking that vitamin water was healthy. Of course. The same as full sugar Gatorade. Why do you call it vitamin water? Yeah, that's why you call it vitamin water, because it's, you know. Its second ingredient is crystalline fructose. Okay?

They motherfuckers wouldn't even say sugar. They just say crystalline fructose, man. Yeah. As if it's like something you find in a cave in the middle of like South Africa or something like that. It comes from like the worst pears that are left over the worst supermarkets like i just watched a documentary on netflix called poisoned it's an hour and 20 fucking minutes about our food industry oh god off with this montage of politicians saying we have the safest food supply in the world like one after another but the the video will be like rat shit

and food and like a dead cat falling into the the bin of rice or something and it's all they begin they have a few central characters one of them is a lawyer who was the guy who stuck it to jack in the box back in the day when they killed those kids you may not know it late 70s early 80s there was an incident um maybe Ohio and New Jersey. Can't remember exactly. Jack in the Box killed some kids, basically. They undercooked their hamburgers, and the meat had E. coli 0157 in it. And so both of those contributed to a lot of kids dying, hundreds of kids being poisoned.

And what you've got to understand, this isn't just food poisoning. We've probably all had one kind of E. coli or another. This was 1992, 1993, by the way. It's called the Great Jack in one kind of e coli or another this was 1992 1993 by the way it's called the great jack in the jack in the box e coli outbreak sorry yeah um it's this e coli 0157 stuff is just deadly apparently it goes into your gut and it produces this stuff called shiga toxin which then gets in your bloodstream kills your red blood cells all those red blood cells make your kidneys failure. And then there's a cascade reaction where it kills one organ after another.

And I'm not talking about over weeks and months. One day you have diarrhea. The next day you are in a coma and dying. The third day you are dead. And it happens to tons of children. And they didn't know what it was at first. So there's this delayed reaction. And this lawyer really stuck it to jack in the box got each kid like millions and millions of dollars um some of them to this day are like they some of these kids have to learn to

walk again like it's weird neurological um nerve damage that they receive from this stuff uh and and the deal was at that time e coli 0157 was just considered um something that might be on beef you know it's not if you were to test the beef at the plant they're like yeah oh e coli again when you know it pack it up because it was considered to be the customer's um problem at that point it's like cook your meat e coli out of it and so what had happened was at the jack and at those jack-in-the-boxes in particular in the northeast or wherever they had a regulation that had changed recently that said you got to cook your burgers to 155 degrees that's what we want and they're like nah it makes them tough they said that in a memo maybe an email that makes them tough.

So they've got them saying, Hey, one 55 will make our beef healthier and safer. And then them going makes the burgers tough. And then a pile of dead children. So Jack in the box paid through the fucking nose. And then this documentary goes on to explain why we have these, these, um,

salmonella outbreaks now. And it's because all of the leafy greens on the fucking planet i'm talking about if you're in thailand or japan tonight and you have a romaine salad it's grown in arizona it's grown in arizona that's where it came from they they grow it in these uh these huge massive irrigation fields that are right next to the concentrated cattle lots oh nice that's convenient all of that and so all of that shit is and water is flowing out of them down a trough into an irrigation ditch. And that's being spritzed on all of the vegetables that everyone eats. And so all you need is one cow in that feedlot to get to shit.

And it's 0157. And then that shit goes into the water and gets sprayed on one head of lettuce then that head of lettuce you ever buy a spring mix how many heads of lettuce is that spring mix incorporated into that bag a lot are they even from the same field from the same part of the same state from the same grower who knows you could be getting you could be covering an acre worth of land that's the potential for shit being sprayed on your food. And you don't wash romaine lettuce. Who likes a hot salad, right?

So you're rinsing it off, and that doesn't kill the bacteria. The same thing is true with sprouts. But romaine lettuce and baby spinach seem to be the number one danger things. There was a 17-year-old girl who got crippled in the middle of the documentary, and I think it was lettuce from Panera Bread or something like that. And they're always a little queasy. They're always a little weird about saying shit. I love one of the scientists just said shit. He was like, you got these animals shitting, and that shit gets sprayed on our food, and then we eat the shit. I was like,

thank you for explaining it. Because no one. That's how you have to say it. Someone's going to be like, and you can see the fecal matter actually goes inside of the liquid. And it spreads in a blossoming matter. It's like, no, just tell me, is there shit in there? I need to know right now. That's like the kind of guy who would like be brought. I want to die.

Geriatric retard politicians on one of those things and they'd be like he'd be like there's shit all over the food and they'd be like whoa english english like leave your technology and your diplomas at the door i'm 102 they had fucking they there was a peanut plant here in georgia that was so filthy um for one thing there were holes in the roof and the bird shit was just when it would rain, would just rain down into the food. And so all sorts of like viruses from birds potentially that can cross over and all sorts of illnesses. Right. Rat shit everywhere. Dead rats everywhere. And they have memos there, too, where he's like, get the product and get it shipped and they're like

well we'll have to clean the dirt and shit off of it first and he's like clean it and ship it and it's like all right there in black and white and he was this old multi-millionaire that had been doing georgia peanuts for decades the guy only gave him three months and he poisoned so much so the thing is everything has a little bit of peanut in it so they couldn't all the kiebler cookies in the country had to be thrown out right and then like all the peanut butter and all the peanut snacks that it was so many products call it 300 different products if it's one product it's like all right get rid of all the fruit but it was hundreds of products that had his poisoned peanuts in them that had to be thrown out uh it i'm assuming he's not in business anymore

is that where we get all of our peanuts in the u.s from georgia georgia has to be georgia has to be numero uno we do a ton here uh there could be a neighboring state that that does it cheaper um but it has to be georgia i would think that's kind of what we're known for but it opened my eyes i i honestly i'm never going to have a romaine lettuce i'm never gonna not a salad again i'll never eat a salad again it was so scary that i'm not going to risk eating salad over the potential what about like a real good teaser salad like no steak you're not i'm never going to have a salad again because it doesn't matter how fancy your salad is unless they are unless they're literally growing those greens themselves locally then it they could have sprayed it with some

fucking shit and you can't wash it off well enough to ensure that you won't die do you have a farmer's market near you because i know it's a meme but if you have one near you people go there and get all your vegetables there it's 10 000 times better it's not even close a tomato from a grocery store you feel a little better you feel a little better buying buying from there too because you at least know that like because you can talk to the farmer too and like kind of get an idea of like what what they're about because we used to have this uh when i lived in san francisco when i was working at twitch uh like we lived like out out in a place called um uh san leandro and uh and they used to have this farmer farmer's market every sunday and we used to love to go there specifically because they

made like this watermelon water that was god tier like just fresh grinded watermelons you're seeing them make it like right then and there it's just utter perfection uh and then and then like uh fresh uh tamales and and different like salsas and shit like that like oh my god it was so incredible but my favorite part was going to the peanut farmers that were there because they would have those uh like moist peanuts i guess they're boiled boiled that the boiled peanuts i never had one before and it was so good and we would just go back there all the time i think were they kind of do they have different flavors like cajun maybe or some yeah some of them did we we usually stuck with the the regular one because my wife liked to use it in a few dishes and stuff um

but yeah yeah they were they were very delicious and then obviously you just go and you'd speak to some of the farmers that so like because we used to like getting the whole head of lettuce you know from like from the farmer because again like you said you know yes those packages are nice and they are helpful and they are convenient but you don't know where the hell all that shit's coming from you know like yeah just because it's green you know doesn't mean it was taken care of properly and that's that's the thing that sucks man the salmonella with chicken thing i'd always heard that so they they get the guy who owns fucking purdue he's like the chicken man half the country in the in the country he's in charge of yep he was in the documentary i think

they mentioned him a few times in that uh chicken documentary the chicken sandwich one and the other half is the tyson guy yeah and they were like uh we took five chickens from the grocery store and tested them and one of them had salmonella and it was a purdue chicken and he's like okay well i mean that's a small sample size though you know five five five packages and one of them was ours i would like to see a larger sample size and they're like well what would you suggest 150 birds in a short period of time they immediately go buy 150 fucking birds and send them to the lab 35 or something of purdue chicken has some on it when you buy it out of the package and that's just not that's not just their chicken just when you buy chicken just know

there is a one in three chance that there is a poison on that chicken that could kill you so cook your chicken 165 degrees and you'll live. I like it medium rare. Me too. I like a little pink in the middle. Taylor likes his, but yeah, just a little bit of blood. Yeah, there's nothing like chicken in the middle of my taste. A little bit of the jury, right?

I like a little I made myself chicken tartare the other day. Absolutely delicious. Chicken tartare! It has to be chilled it has to be chilled only if it's chilled and and honestly the science may have to be tasteful otherwise if four hours later you're not grievously ill you didn't make it right yeah exactly you know if you're not shitting your pants that's not good food that's all i'm saying dude you want to lose weight a little chicken tartar that'll get you right where you need to be that's a fitness plan right there

i guarantee it like like i'm gonna be so much i'm gonna be more careful when i cook because i've gotten food poisoning a lot usually a baffling amount of times i eat risky foods and i eat risky times of day um i have this is good for you to watch because you are definitely more susceptible to food poisoning than other people i bet you've over doubled up me and woody combined in the past i've eaten red lobster raw oysters before like why would you do that red lobster raw oysters yeah they have they have raw oysters at the red lobster and i remember i was on a date once and i was like really well give us a dozen and they got there and she's like i don't eat those and i had to eat a dozen oysters as an appetizer and by the eighth oyster it was just for show you were committed it was just for show.

You were committed. It was just for show at this point. I love oysters. Are you sure you don't want at least one? One oyster. Just trying to get one off that plate. They're getting warm now. It's usually been burger joints

that got me sick. I'll never eat at a Sonic again because I got poisoned at a Sonic and went back two days later to the same place and got poisoned again. Well, at that point, that's just your fault. That's your fault. You know, you only have yourself to blame. You want to shame me. That burger was delicious.

Yeah. I mean, wait, how is it delicious if it got you sick but look it that completely different things that he loves the taste of poop it was a delicious burger full of poison or shit or something but i remember they had a one of those seasonal jalapeno burgers which i always am super attracted i love it when they they're like wendy's had one back in the day that was jalapenos and nacho cheese. And that was the burger. And it was so good, Taylor. Nacho cheese on the burger.

I'd eat it on my lunch break and I'd be fucking in the car eating that motherfucker. It's so good. Is it fried jalapenos? I remember them being pickled and it being very spicy. I was going to make fun of you if they're fried because that's the worst. The poop is the secret ingredient, Taylor. You're missing out on how good this thing tastes. Taylor was talking about his chicken tartar weight

loss tactic. That's my secret. Your food poisoning weight loss strategy is way better than my flu-based one. Woody's just licking fucking taxi handles. You mean to tell me i've been licking doorknobs this whole time and all i had to do was have chicken tartar and the secret is all that chicken at the store once you lick it they don't make you buy it and they can't sell it you just have to have a lot of grocery stores around you i have a theory unrelated to this.

I think Conor McGregor will never fight again. I think Conor McGregor is in love with his new steroid body. And he is on so much HGH. Is he on steroids? Oh, very much so. I haven't looked. I haven't seen him. I don't even know what he looks like.

He's almost unrecognizable. He's on human growth hormone, and he might be on something very exotic that we're not even too keyed into. But the whole story is he broke his leg in a very serious kind of way. Yeah, I remember that part. And so he's been on a

cocktail of drugs, I'm sure, to heal that right because that's a real difficult thing to not just come back from, but come back from and be a martial artist yeah that's that's not what we're looking look at this guy's face that's not even conor mcgregor like he's added some muscle you can see it like in the shoulders and the traps and stuff he's just a little he's a bigger man on the right yeah but the way that his face puffed out is indicative of like excessive T and HGH. And like his hands apparently have grown. He's a big man.

Seeing them say his hands look bigger. The photos I've seen really seemed, you know, you can pick one photo and make anything look like you want it to look. But everything I see, he looks like he's put on bone mass that's what i see his um interview with ariel herwani like you get to see his face in a long way and it's not like a like you said a still shot can be misleading you see a guy in a funky you know blow or whatever but no no this is a longer video and one he really wasn't cognitively there anymore he's not the guy on the mic that he used to be i think and uh two he just doesn't look like he used to it's a they look like they look like brothers as far as whether he'll fight or not uh they do look like brothers that's

a good point they could you could if you told someone those were brothers they believe it those are the three toughest guys in ireland no one can take all three of those men i'll tell you that right now that much is true um not even john jones i think that you're absolutely right about him being because he he's always been in love with himself but man he really seems to like how big he looks and how how how thick he looks and like he's just flexing all the time on the internet. Well, look at Dwayne Johnson. Look at Dwayne Johnson. He's a really good example of this, right? Where it's like he's made an empire around his physique.

But not only that, it's launched so many different avenues for him where it's like, yeah, Conor McGregor could go out there. Could he still fight? I don't doubt that for a minute, yeah, Conor McGregor could go out there. Could he still fight? I don't, I don't doubt that for a minute. You know, he's Conor McGregor. He's still tough as nails,

dude. But like, genuinely speaking, what, why, why does he have to like, he doesn't have Conor fucking McGregor, you know,

like he can do anything at this point. The question is like, what does he have to he doesn't have to oh of course no one has to yes he's not he has enough money he can do anything he wants uh the question is like what does he want to do and i think he's more in love with being jacked than he is with being a top fighter so it's more more more prolonged longer shelf life longer i think you're real close i think what he's he's in love with being in the public eye. Right now, he's just getting so much

attention and clicks and stuff for just being him and looking that way. I don't know how long that goes on. It seems like he needs to get in there and beat somebody up to keep the fires burning. Or he needs to do something. Maybe a movie or something like that.

He's in the new Roadhouse. I want to hear him soon he's the guy you know that he's the guy in roadhouse it's a big that is gonna be a walk and it won't be a jake gyllenhaal movie it's a it's a it's a real i am very interested in this i didn't know that i just learned it now from you yeah and he can't act he can't speak very well anymore i well this movie was filmed probably a year and a half two years ago uh and you know you get plenty of takes and when you say he doesn't speak well anymore when we've seen him do media he has spoken kind of poorly i watched him do some of the ultimate fighter he's fine he's in a suit there being articulate talking about slipping punches and being fucking

stupid like he also just could have been stoned out of his mind too i don't think he does his team is like one of the first 10 fights like and no one wants to be on his team they're all like so what happens in the ultimate fighter is if when you lose you get knocked out right sent off the island if you will so the teams get very lopsided, and they start taking winners and putting them on the losers' team. And everyone just – no one wants to be on Conor McGregor's team. There's one guy, actually, Conor's teammate. But everyone else is, like, fighting.

We have teammates fighting people on the same team just so they can avoid being on Conor's team. So for him to fight, he has to get back into the USADA pool, the drug testing pool and then it requires six months of testing so if he were to say today i'm in take my blood then it would the earliest he can legally fight is six months from today but that day moves a day further every day that we and he hasn't done that he hasn't initiated that process true he's doing nothing but talking about fights it was michael the whole point of the ultimate fighter reality

show was setting him up to fight a man named michael chandler who was the opposite team's coach who showed up and they usually do that at the end of every fighter connor's bored of that girl he wants a new one he's he's on to a new toy now he's calling out the winner of the most recent fight justin gaethje because he's got a lot of pop he fucking knocked justin poirier out with a a leg a leg kick to the head there's no other kind of kick a kick to the head and then did a fucking backflip off the thing and he's the new bad motherfucker and connor's like calling him out and and so like michael chandler's over there crying because he hasn't fought in a year or something. Waiting on Conor. Could have had a fight. Could have been working.

Dude, it's really obvious. As someone who doesn't follow UFC, just as a viewer, it's beyond obvious. This guy's never fighting again. He's on steroids. He's lifting weights. He's moved on to a different era of life. He makes more money and has made more through his whiskey than he ever made through UFC. He's richer than any fighter in the UFC

has made money through fighting. He's done. He's getting jacked. He's getting juiced up. He's on his fucking liquor money. That dude is never getting back in a ring. He'll talk about it when he wants a little attention. And then people will give it to him for the next couple years and then someone else will come along and he won't get it anymore. And then people will give it to him for the next couple of years and then someone else will come along and

he won't get it anymore. And then he'll probably come back in his 40s and then do a fight then, get fucked up, and then that's it. That's always a possibility. When these guys do fade, they miss the line. I know who he's going to fight. Here's what I think happens, Woody.

If Nate Diaz wins against Jake Paul this weekend, I think, then Conor McGregor is going to fight Nate Diaz. He'll fight Nate in New York or something. I don't know if there even is a car in New York, but you could sell out Madison Square Garden with Conor McGregor, Nate Diaz 3 anytime you want. Is there tag team boxing in real life or is that like a cartoon

wait no no no I'm sure there is someone had to experiment with the concept why would it just have been made up for TV shows I have seen like 5v5 MMA fighting in Poland or something like that but I guess

one I don't think that's legal in America I don't think there's any tag team fighting in this country. And it's barely a thing. Yeah, it's small time for sure. Just like they have 2v1. I've seen 2v1 where they have two little guys on one big one. The big one was wearing a suit. Wait, was his name, do you remember his name?

Like Fairplay? I would if you said it. No, that doesn't sound like johnny fair but there's a video of a big guy in a suit fighting two backyard fighting like you small man they were in an octagon they were indoors they're in an octagon lights and shit cameras there's a youtube channel where they do backyard mma and uh at first i thought they were going to be total chumps. Most of these guys are trained.

Maybe all of them. I visualized myself probably overestimate how I would do in these fights and they would all beat me except for maybe the smallest. Is that the one where they have to wear masks? Zach, please find the placard promo picture

for the two nine-year-olds that are fighting in West Virginia. I said that to you. I said that to you. Yes, yes. Kyle sent it to me. That is hilarious. I stand by my assumption that Maynard looks like a lean little devil and he's going to fuck that other kid up.

It is. It's hilarious. It's just two West Virginians, I guess, getting together to, or I guess they're families. They're like eight. Yeah, it ain't them. They're like nine years old. Yeah.

Oh. Dude. Team Viper. Come on out to the Boone County Brawl, y'all. Dude, Landon Van Dyke is in for a world of hurt when he shows up in the ring against Mason the Viper Maynard. Look at that kid.

I agree. That's three foot eight. Wait, wait, wait. Is Mason the Viper Maynard his name, Taylor? Did you add that? Because if you did, you are promoting him. It says it right there. The Viper.

He's the Viper. Where? Oh, shit. It's the Viper versus the Pitbull. Versus the Pitbull. Oh, my word. It's Randy Orton versus Mr. Worldwide.

That kid on the right has the worst haircut I can even... Look how bad it is. It looks like he did it himself. Did the parents not think about symmetry? That's the official haircut of West Virginia. I don't see why you're... Why does Chet have a Widow's Peak receding hairline that's a fighter's haircut he's just

that's a 37 year old midget woody all right county well the thing we're not taking into account is landon has a steel jaw and so it's going to take the the viper's more of a speed player it's going to take him a lot of ratatata-ta to bring him down. I might be crazy, but Landon looks bigger and heavier. I think they're both so small and weak. The company is called Chill Boxing, so I don't think that there's going to be much

happening. Osh-tosh-be-gosh. And Michael. Get yourself some dinosaur fingerless fucking punching gloves. That's what you need. And Michael's. Get yourself some dinosaur fingerless fucking punching gloves. I kind of want to see that fight.

I don't know why they didn't take advantage of the other wonderful economic opportunities in West Virginia. Right after that, too good for the minds, are you? After that, they're going to have their dogs fight. Let me just find out this family.

This family really just hates each other, both families, and they really just want to make money off of it. It's like one of those Western rivalries. The Maynards and the fucking Smiths or whatever. Yes, the Hatfields and McCoys. It was either that or the mines for those young West Virginians. I've said it before, but just just to recap anyone who doesn't know west virginia is the shittiest place i've ever been and i've never been and i've been i thought it was like super pretty there um it is yeah i

mean i could see more than 50 yards in front of us it was was just trees and poverty. You can't see the trees for the poverty there. Goddamn poor people ruining my trees. You can't see the trees for the poverty in West Virginia. Any beauty that that state might have is completely lost upon you because of the staggering hideousness of the populace.

The disgusting, uneducated, swine-like residents of West Virginia. Those mountain hillbilly folks. How do you really feel, Kyle? I'm not. I'm team West Virginia. I didn't say he was any slur. Yeah, they're real trash. They're real trash.

Kyle, let's make it fair. They don't have the internet I've never been there so I can never confirm nor deny you know I'm clueless I've never been to West Virginia Taylor's too busy hating dreams to go guys come on you know only other people's dreams only others West Virginia shit is nice but if you have a dream about it,

don't tell me. That's how I feel about West Virginia. You go to hell. There's some good old country folk in... What accent do they have? They got that crazy Appalachian one, right? Yes, Appalachian accent. I couldn't help you with it.

It's unbelievably difficult to parse out. In some counties, more than half of the people are on welfare. It's a disability, which is the modern welfare. They're like mining downs and that's not a thing anymore. Yep. That's like Detroit.

You know Detroit's lost something like 55% of their population of Detroit left since the 50s? I believe it. St. Louis is on that track too. All the shitty, dangerous cities are. No one lives there. St. Louis looks nice. There were no pretty people.

There were no pretty people in West Virginia. That's not just me. I joke about Boston and all the ugly bitches there. I'll be real. Those Boston women are an ugly group of women. Their accent is disgusting. Dude, you don't love the accent the most grating accent kills me i want to suck your cock like be hotter and then you make fun

of it they're like i don't sound like that you're like you 100 do like that now eat my pussy dude and it's like yeah i i don't know about all that but west virginia what that that's mostly a joke because there were there were pretty women in boston as i always say they're called tourists and but in west virginia there were some just everyone there like we went to walmart and we went to a restaurant after and so that's a sampling size of maybe 100 women and it was like guys guys have you seen anyone here that you would fuck? Or anyone here that's like five? Anyone, not in this car. It's like an average human.

Everyone you would look at had something wrong with them. It was like, that guy's got a gap. She's got a lazy eye. Look at that gap in that guy's teeth. Like, everyone had something major wrong with them. Like a Mr. Potato Head without all the pieces. Like a big thing was missing from everybody. Yeah, but heart of gold

kyle's overlooking all the skinny heroin addicts like there's some chicks with good bodies it's meth it's meth up there i promise you but it's all the same i hooked up with a meth addict one night in this in this motel and fucking raven county oh my god she had so many self-harm scars oh it was so gross. She was on top of me and she sounded like an animal. And that's not me bragging. It was terrifying me. I wasn't doing anything.

Did you get tested afterward, like quickly? I mean, the fact you delayed her response. Yeah. Staggering. It turned out Gray Taylor Taylor. He's positive for everything. Positively positive.

Positive results. Just awful. Just awful group of people there too. Raven County, Georgia. A lot of methamphetamine there as well. There's a lot of meth here too. It does keep people's bodies tight. But their teeth totally fall apart. totally guys are overlooking the skinny women on man i mean yeah it's it's oh it's really a great skinny women and and fat stupid women that shouldn't go anywhere did you see that one um lady maybe from niger but basically her uncle or somebody's running the country and he

sent her to represent them in the international game. Oh, yeah. I was going to mention that because you guys were talking about athletes not being like how an athlete would go. And I was like, oh, yeah, that happened. That was bad. Somalia. That was bad.

And that is I felt bad for the girl where, like, apparently the head of Somalia. First of all, I didn't know Somalia had a government I thought they were like a total failed state warlords and suck yeah warlords the warlord of Somalia sent his niece to compete in this like literally his niece which is

unbelievably mean to that niece to be like go there and run next to these she's not no I saw her run and she looked slow so let's all agree on that i'm not contesting it the only thing is like you could grab someone that you know who's good at basketball put them in the world games and they would look bad at basketball right sure was she the fastest in her school no she would lose a race against the four of us.

We would win that race. Next to her name, it said, I don't know. I don't know. I'm slow as shit, too. But when you watch her take off, you can see in muscle memory how people run. She's not athletic.

Yeah. She stands up immediately. Yeah, she's not an athlete. She's the one an athlete in the back and the full long sleeve shirt with the big oversized dunder mifflin 4k race for the cure fucking shirt over that yeah like she's she's from a goddamn country where she's not like i feel bad for all we're in a we're in a boston bruins 2019 stanley cup champion can i just say i think this photo has been edited because a the the white line

goes over her ankle and b she was never this close to the rest of the field yeah honestly from the start line on the dragon dropped her ass up a bit they dragged and dropped that bitch and they they messed up edited by nbc that's hilarious they they brought her up to make it seem they brought her up to make it seem that way I'm looking at every other leg in the picture and none of them have a white line across the ankle like that it's edited by NBC

because she was so far back that they couldn't fit her in the picture otherwise the picture would have made sense because they would have been ants they're in the pocket of big fat chick trying to look more competitive than they really are. I mean, look, again, untrained, clearly

understated. That's an incompetent government. Look at that belly. I feel bad for her. I feel bad for the runners. The whole situation was just like, what the hell is wrong with you, man? I'm completely on the other team The whole situation was just like, what the hell is wrong with you, man?

I'm completely on the other team. I'm inspired. I really want to do a PKA foot race. The three of us. No training allowed. That violates the rules. Oh, I would love to see that. You want to do 100 meters? I'll be honest.

I would lose. I'm very slow. Honestly. I'm really slow, too. And I don't think Taylor's built for speed. I'm very slow. I'm really slow too, and I don't think Taylor's built for speed. I can't imagine a better way for all three of us to be ruthlessly bullied

than to upload a video of the three of us in a foot race. Are you kidding me? If you guys don't do this, I would consider it a disappointment. Flat footed and fat. Stop talking about it. Don't will it. I want talking about it. Don't will it. Who's got the largest space in the back?

I want to do it. Stop talking about it. No, it's not a thing. I'll throw down $100 for the winner. Woody's the fastest. Woody's the speed boy. He went fastest by so far. But part of me is like, what if I wear flip-flops? Can I beat Taylor in flip-flops?

I don't even know. Do you want to wear flip-flops too? No beat Taylor in flip-flops? I don't even know. Do you like to wear flip-flops too? No. You could put me in fucking Usain Bolt's shoes and put you in tar and you would beat me. I'm so goddamn slow. I have always been slow. When they lined us up and made us run

an elementary school, I acted like a race car and blocked other people intentionally. They were all behind me stuck because I was zoning them out. And they were like, why did you do that? And I was like, you told me to win. You told me to win. I was never going to run like this.

How was I going to beat them here without the physical help? I think Kyle might be. Taylor, who's your money on? Who do you think is the fastest? I mean, Kyle said he does cardio. I think Kyle. I think it's Kyle too. Yeah, I think Kyle's sandbagging us.

He is. And I think the only way that this gets confirmed is if you guys get together and film this video. I refuse to run! What if it's running to a big-ass gun that you get to shoot and then like like like a like a biathlon or some shit oh the video ends with prison how wonderful i'm a lot of time to run all around the cell gun question for kyle you might not know this is not an everyday question but here i had this thought today you know how when you shoot a bullet out of a rifle barrel, you can look at that bullet like ballistically and see if it was shot at the same barrel.

It leaves a little fingerprint the way that the twist works. Yeah. Okay. Then I had this idea like, oh, but when you shoot through a barrel, that barrel gets where? So hypothetically, I murder someone. Right. barrel gets where so hypothetically i murder someone right and then i fire like make it an ak-47 something durable i fire 2 000 rounds out that barrel can i do i now have a rifle that almost proves i didn't kill the guy because it's a different fingerprint no no um you'd be better off just destroying the rifle um that's what you want to do.

You want to destroy the rifle. Because not only does the bullet leave that telltale thing that I don't think you could eliminate with a couple thousand rounds. And plus, now we've got to get a case of ammo. Now we're making a lot of noise. People come around, why are you shooting so much? Don't worry about it. This is the whole thing, right? Plus, when you stamp that primer, when you fire the bullet um that's a

unique um indicator as well the the the way that primer strikes the uh or the firing pin strikes the primer those are one and a those all match too like this one you can tell that that shell came out of this gun so and 1500 rounds later rounds later, you think that that wouldn't change? I always hear ARs talked about 10,000 rounds of barrel life. And that's before you lose accuracy. That's not even talking about like smoothing the bore out and making it so that it doesn't have rifling in it at all anymore. And I think what you'd see is like maybe less defined marks, but the same marks. The same way if a lighter person wore the same pair of shoes you know it's still the same indicator it's just not imprinted as deeply maybe that's i don't know anything about

ballistics at like a real deal level though i just know what bullets look like maybe there's a better way to foul the barrel like than shooting bullets right they hit it i saw a movie once where they it was a pistol and he immediately took a rat tail file which is a cylindrical file and ran it down the barrel and rasped out the barrel real quick and that would probably do the trick if you were you know effective enough at it of course you could just melt the son of a bitch if you got an oxyacetylene that would be the way to go. Okay. Anyway, I had that question. I know nothing about guns, so hey, look at that.

Do you know a bit about murder? You know, not offhand. You know, not a thing. Classic murder response. Classic. Oh, classic murder response. Me? Murder? Never. Never in a million years.

Someone who takes great offense at a joke about them killing someone. Me? Never. How would I even get away with classic murders me murdered never never oh my god never in a million years someone who like takes great offense at a joke about them killing someone like me never how would i even get away with that it would smell so bad after like one week dude it wouldn't even all right so those are the weirdest to me and you can almost understand how it gets that way um but the people who kill someone and then they're like yeah what do i do now now there's a body in my house throw some newspaper on it big daddy style and and that like the people who do that and the people so many serial killers you hear about the smell it ends up being the smell from the rotting corpses in their house under their house around their house oh my god they get they get caught because of like procrastination not even carelessness it's like i'll get rid of that rotting head tomorrow and then they just don't

for three weeks and you get nose blind to weeks. And you get nose blind to stuff. You know? You get nose blind to it. They don't notice the slow rot. Yeah, a lot of fucking corpses. And it's not his first rodeo. Yeah, because after a while, you're used to that scent. A lot of times, their mom has been upstairs in the bed for like a decade.

And so they're used to it. So when they start bringing the ladies home and taking them apart, trying to fix mom piece by piece they don't notice the smell is is there a scent called cadaverine like that's like what it's called cadaverine is a new perfume that calvin klein is releasing cadaverine cadaverine shit smell terrible It's called corpse. Like a dabble. The worst selling scented candle. Well, they can sell them on anything. What's-Her-Face sells the pussy one.

Glued, man. Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, yeah. She sells it on a candle. Before we jump to another unbelievably rational topic, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. This episode of PKA is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com. Pharaoh Distro, linked below.

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And we thank them for sponsoring the podcast. That's BlueChew.com, link below, code PKA. Just pay the $5 in shipping, you cheap fuck. You know, I was thinking, probably a lot of our listeners, their dick's not hard enough. Send me an email at Mercadurka at Hotmail.com and I'll let you know if your dick is hard enough

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my family and myself you know like that's about it uh that being said regarding this though i just think it's hilarious. Did you read the Rudy Giuliani transcripts? Those things are comedy gold. Really? Oh, God, it is so funny. These are actual transcripts from Rudy Giuliani with some women. I don't know.

I guess these things are all coming out at the same time. I don't know if it's connected or not. Honestly, it's all a blur, so I have't know. I guess these things are all coming out at the same time. I don't know if it's connected or not. Honestly, it's all a blur, so I have no idea. But that's what I've gotten out of this, which was Rudy Giuliani acting like a creep in these transcripts. And it's just money. Because you hear it in Rudy's voice, you know, and it gets even funnier.

Yeah, it's genuinely bizarre. The only thing I heard of giuliani was um i guess for years he had been accusing these two women of passing a usb key with votes on it to each other casually like heroin dealers or meth dealers he compared them to they're both black women and uh turns out it was a breathman it was like instantly debunked someone just passed like a pack of lifesavers it's on video and uh but even though it was like instantly debunked he just kept saying it again and again for years and uh that's just part i mean it's easier to keep lying than it is to admit that you're you know maybe wrong in the public eye you gotta keep in mind someone's handing him a list of speaking points.

If someone gets debunked, why would they care? These are effective speaking points. No one in the crowd, they don't care if it's true or not. It's about your speaking points. It's about evidence that you're right and your side is right. And look at the awful things they're doing. Can you believe they did this to a kid? Well, did they?

And you look into it and you're like, well, kind of. Well, not really. And it was, yeah things they're doing. Can you believe they did this to a kid? Well, did they? And you look into it and you're like, well, kind of. Not really. And it was. Yeah, it goes. I think they're suing him for defamation. I don't even know about Giuliani. I was thinking more of the Trump thing. Yeah.

To call it the trial of the century is interesting. Yeah. What's bigger, though? Well, OJ? Using that. We'll see. That's last century. I'm glad you said that because that's where i would

go uh i would go to oj probably but we're in a new century and i can't think of any real humdingers this century off the top of my head for some reason i was going to say the johnny depp amber heard one that's all anyone could talk about for like there was two weeks the american um there was the american tourist in paris there was a murder trial for her there that maybe you guys don't remember it was a very big deal in the early 2000s because they were holding her and trying her for this murder oh yes i remember that these americans always way smaller than trump trying to overthrow the results of an election and take control of the country after he allegedly uh yeah they'll have to prove that and if they do and if they lock him away and throw away the key that'll be a wild precedent to set

uh i personally think that he did a lot of illegal things and if we were going by the letter of the law we'd probably hang him but we don't all want to be held to that that same rule of the letter of the law no one does 100 because we all might get hung at the end of the day. And all of our politicians will, and the whole fucking system will fall down. I think the idea of we got him and throwing him in prison makes us all look bad. Not just him. I don't think it'll be a moment of, see, the law applies to everyone. Well, no, it doesn't. Let's go get this guy then. Well, I don't talk about that guy. That's think it'll be a moment of see the law applies to everyone well no it doesn't let's go get this guy then well i'll talk about that guy that's what it'll be you know one side

should not tear the other side down it's never good with our our two chambers it doesn't seem like that's what's happening here oh it is i mean his side i mean it i mean the grand like he had to be indicted by a grand jury which it had to look at evidence and had to make that. Yeah, but how did we get there? I don't think Kyle's claiming he's not guilty. I think we all can see he's really fucking guilty. Yeah. For a couple of these.

The one that's sketchy is the, were the business payments to Stormy Daniels campaign contributions? That's the sketchy's the that's so funny that like that's where we're at with it like isn't that enough of like kyle's point of like that's absurd like to that's the sketchy one that's what i'm saying but the other two the documents case and the um uh the january 6th like overthrow the january 6th january 6th and then there's the georgia one right that's the fourth one that he's waiting on, I think. Yeah, I think that one's not happening. Georgia may press charges as well.

That's pending, I think. I don't like it. Yeah, I don't think they should indict someone who's running for president, usually. It kind of makes you look banana republic-y. That's why I never thought that this would happen, is because it just seems so wrong to do it in the middle of this election. And I'm sure the other side would say there's no better time to do it than before he becomes president again. He's leading in the polls.

He's still leading in the polls. Yeah. I mean, they'd rather go up against DeSantis. That guy has less charisma than a rock. That guy is so every picture I see of him is him looking like a goober and boots way too big for him every few months ago desantis was considered the more dangerous opponent i never bought that i mean i do think he's a dangerous dude i just think that he's an idiot i just think he juxtaposes against biden in a favorable way because like biden's biggest uh drawback is the age thing and

he has a speech impediment but that speech impediment has been compounded by age so it's hard to say what speech impediment and what's just senility or whatever and uh de santis on the other hand isn't a septuagenarian like trump is so that makes him look strong in in certain ways that makes him a tougher competitor than trump who can't very well run on the age card. I mean, it wouldn't be an age card for Trump. It would be a senility thing where he'd be like, this guy has no idea what's going on. He's a moron.

Look at me. I'm ridiculous, but I'm still talking. Look at me. I can riff for like 10 fucking minutes. You think this is easy, folks? You want to get up here and riff with me? You want to do bits? You want to do jokes?

You think I'm doing a tight five You want to get up here and riff with me? You want to do bits? You want to do jokes? You think I'm doing a tight five taken down to the comedy cellar? You're going to listen to this fucking retard over me, really. Hey, Joe, say the first 11 words that come to your head. Oh, I'm sorry. You couldn't spin that one. Sorry. I'm a little tired. That's literally what would actually happen.

Because he's so much more competent than him on a debate stage, on a talking... Biden screams out as a senile guy because he's a much more competent than him on a debate stage on a talking like biden screams out as a senile guy because he's a senile guy like trump is a goof but he's with it and so that comparison i don't think would look unfavorably towards him on a stage and the thing with desantis is like maybe i'm wrong but i don't think anybody really likes that guy very much even months ago when they were saying like oh trump isn't as threatening as desantis i never bought that like even in florida desantis isn't that much more popular they only really vote for him because he has an r on

his name honestly he didn't have an r on his name guy would be nothing yeah but he doesn't inspire people in iraq that's not true he won an overwhelming election down there like something crazy like 65 because florida that's florida that's just how it is if he ran if he ran versus trump he would have got butt fucked what are the issues that's actually what i genuinely want to know like okay so you know surprise i am i am like i'm a democrat liberal guy social liberal that's just how i am you know i believe that you can always have constructive debate i i'm not one of those like my way is the right way i don't give a shit personally um that being said i just don't know what the platform is and i've tried to like look it up and see what the platform is the republican platform for 2024 is and i just don't really like i'll tell you we're gonna start with okay go start with tell you what we're going to start with. Okay, go for it. We're going to protect your kids from those lefties.

Yeah, me. They're queer and they're coming for your kids. That's what they chant in the streets when they talk about your children. They're coming for them. It's a losing match for them. Somehow or another, the far-right white man has found a way to identify with the far-right Muslim. They're marching in the streets together now saying, Leave our children alone, please,

please leave our children alone. We applied for a permit today. We're trying to be nice about this. Leave our children alone. And they won't, they keep going and going. And no, we want to do this and that and the other.

And it's, Oh, well this age isn't old enough to have sex. And this age isn't old enough to send pictures. This age is fine though, to, to remove genitals and to, and to apply life changing hormone treatments.

That is where we're going to start. And I say we can't kind of I don't consider myself a Republican. But on that issue, on leaving people's children alone, I guess I'm pretty right facing on that one. Yeah, I mean, I don't disagree with that perspective at all. Like for me, it's just yeah, if you want to leave the children alone, it's perfectly fine. But I think it's important to just teach tolerance and just, hey, you know, some kids are going to be different from you. Some kids are going to be the same as you. Some kids are going to have different issues from you. So it's just really, that's all I care about is just, you know, like teaching people to just treat each other with respect no matter what and if we can get there make imaginary they're coming for your children bullshit the

center of their campaign they'll get as butt fucked as they did the last three election cycles it is not an imaginary they're trying to make your kids boys into girls and girls into boys they're trying to indoctrinate them into some gay lifestyle that's not even true and it is have you i mean you kind of thing that voters see through you have seen like the books being like i it's one of the things that i'm not close to at all because i don't have children but i have friends who have kids and a buddy of mine on the school board of his local like school board he showed me images of the books they had in their library to show to like seven and eight year olds it's

fucking absurd dude it's fucking absurd it's full-on nudity it's showing penetration it is there is no world in which this is a normal thing to show a child when he showed it to me i was like are you serious like this is what it is and he was like yes like me and all the other parents are fighting against basically the administrator right now saying, we don't want our kids being taught this stuff. And so that's what it seems to be is a bunch of, a bunch of parents organically making their voices heard. And then admit administrators maligning them as bad people for wanting their kids to not be exposed to stuff that those pictures,

my buddy showed me for fucking ghoulish. Like you do not. It was inappropriate. Yeah. But I... It sounds horrific. Usually the stuff I hear about is like, oh, they're putting fucking kitty litter in the break room

so that kids who identify as cats can poop and pee there, which is bullshit. It never happened. Of course. But that is by design a story made to make you believe that none of... Because it's a very real thing right like i like what taylor said like joe rogan's read that repeatedly and i don't think that he's part of some sort of big kitty litter by design to mock you i mean somebody told him that he shouldn't have believed it someone he knew in real life he trusted who

was a teacher told him that but also because he's a meathead he thought she was a direct source but she wasn't she had heard it from somewhere else and then it was bullshit the reason they have that is so in a school shooting when they're locked down and don't have access to a bathroom they can put it on pee and poop where the children have to pee and poop on the floor in the fucking classroom and they have to throw some sawdust on it that's what that's for no it's for vomit if it's even real in the first nope i don't know no it's exactly what i said is it i thought you were making that up nope it's exactly what i said it's it's another case of people being afraid to talk about shit and getting and then we end up in a political discussion instead this i've only seen

kitty litter used for throw up kids and so the kitty litter we're talking about is the kitty litter that's in the kits that comes in this kit. And it's in the school shooter kit, like the emergency supplies in the classroom. It's not the janitor closet stuff. We've got some kitty litter in this room so that if we are locked down in this room for eight hours, ten hours, and somebody's got to go, we can cover it up. We can throw something on it. That's what it's about. It's still a symptom of the right chasing ghosts right now. And's part of the reason they're losing elections yeah sure yeah i mean i think people just want normal

you know i i genuinely believe that people like a majority of the normal ass people in this country don't identify with any of that fringe left fringe, right stuff. They're just like, can we just get back to like some kind of decorum, some kind of just normalcy where we can at least like have a, I know, I know it's impossible at this point. I think it is. I think we are too far gone.

It like with the, the divide that something big is going to happen that will create the splinter. And then it'll, you know, and I'm not saying like civil war or whatever, but like just something will happen that will create a bigger divide. And then it will be Trump's winter from there. It could be.

I mean, we could be on the on the precipice of this right now, you know. Yeah. So I'm on the left and I kind of enjoy the idea of Trump getting his comeuppance. He's been lying and just getting away with everything for so long. I'm like, at last, fucking pay the price for what you do. On the other hand, I worry a little bit that maybe it's a bad idea to throw him in jail. Well, that just increases popularity increase the split in the country etc 100 yeah it's just a matter of what the worst idea is is the worst

idea just to let him get away with everything i mean we let all these politicians get away with horrific things constantly and so i guess that was kyle's went home yeah these people do absurd horrific illegal things every single person in congress went in made 178 000 a year now they're worth half a bill each like they're all corrupt despicable people they're they all break the law all these presidents do this shit and so it seems selective to hit him with it harder than everyone else especially when it's like he's the lead runner of the opposing party in the middle i i think it's ignoring though that i don't remember it was very wait no one else did this no one else like led a riot into the capitol building where

the people smeared shit on the walls and prevented at least for a few hours the rightful winner of the election from getting that job, right? No one else refused to return the documents that they found that they had around their house. You're like, everyone does this and they're only punishing Trump for it. No, Trump is unique in the fact that he does it worse and greater and more than anyone else.

It's really just the spotlight. Can I just say the reason we know that is because Trump is like constantly being investigated. I mean, it's rare that we send the FBI into people's homes and start looking for anything they might've done wrong. I mean- Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but that instance- Usually they find something.

Yeah, they have to go to the crime. They do the paperwork. Yeah, he had paperwork. They asked him, he refused. And then they asked him again, knowing that he had it and he's still, and then they asked him again knowing that he had it and he's still and then he refused and then they tried to delete the tapes so it's like you're kind of setting yourself up there buddy you know you're 100 right what he did was retarded and that's against the law you're right like if i had done that my ass my brown ass would be in jail

all of us would be in jail for that. We'd all be in jail right now. But then for me, I think the bigger one was mostly just January 6th. The docs, like, yeah, what is it? Obama did it, right? Hillary did all those proceedings for, I forget what it was. I was told that was no big deal. Yeah. And then, you know, like all that stuff, it happens all the time.

So I'm like, yeah, it's terrible. Obama didn't have docs. Did he have docs? He had docs and then returned them or something like that. No, he did. No, he never did. He had something like 30 million documents. It was outrageous.

But what actually happened was there was an Obama library where these docs were going to, and it was actually the National Archives library where these docs were going to. And it was actually the National Archives Office that had them, not Obama. And Trump tries to mistell the story as if Obama also had docs, but he didn't. Biden had docs. They were in his garage. And I think he found them, notified people, and returned them without them being asked for. That's what biden did pence i think they discovered he had docs and he was like oh shucks my bad and he

returned them right away yeah because in most cases that's what happened right it's like you have doctors like you have these docs yeah it's important people know that trump wasn't charged with having docs he was basically charged with refusing to give them back and then deleting the videotapes of them hiding the documents he these uh obstructing justice and um this whole email server you know those those those documents about the aliens he was just trying to get the truth out to us trying to get the truth that was true if i were trump that's the angle i take that's the angle i take. That's the angle I take. I wanted to just reveal aliens are real. Show them the real documents you took, you son of a bitch. They're real and I had to let you know.

Zach said, would you feel similarly if Obama or Bush, if they charge Obama and Bush before crimes or things like that? To me, again, it just boils down to accountability. Don't care where you fall. Don care what what's your political affiliation if you do something wrong you should be held accountable for it and that's it that's like i think every sane person thinks i disagree so strongly um we we would not have much of a country if our presidents knew that they were going to be tried for anything that might have verged outside the line right after their presidency because they have to make decisions like dropping a nuclear bomb on Japan.

They have to make for sure. Yeah. Made in countries bombing people on a daily. I like I just read about Biden killing a whole bunch of people in Syria. You know, like presidents murder hundreds of people throughout their careers, like not just like ordering a war to happen or sending guys into a specific battle. They'll be like, sir, can we push the button or no? Yeah, go ahead and push that motherfucker.

Oh, well, and just so that we're 100% clear here. They're watching. I'm not. That part, that's a thing that I will never understand. None of us can ever understand truly what goes on in those situations. I play Call of Duty. I know the no russian mission

uh carrier strikes yeah don't you just hit up on the d-pad isn't that what you're supposed to do come out um but up or down depending on how but i'm i'm saying like the the actual like like january 6 like that it to me is is very clearly like it was it's clear as fucking day to anyone with eyes that all that that happened was not appropriate right and it was incited from somewhere and it was incited you know but yeah and again three hours might not trump did nothing while he allowed he didn't even tweet like hey guys it's bad nope he just yeah i hope it played out hope to help them retain power i liked it i liked it i didn't want him to retain power i wanted them to do the right thing and make biden the president but i hate that fucking building all those cocksuckers that

that work in it so how about a new building i hope it was a nutty shit they put on a glass i hope somebody had to take the corn off the fucking fine marble that I'll never fucking see in her goddamn office. I don't give a shit that they put their... Oh, that was Nancy... That's America's office they put their feet up in. Billy, do you believe that?

That's that evil witch who cackles behind Biden and sells us out day in and day out. That's her fucking office that they sent the guy out to prison for seven years for. Dude, they drowned up so much anger over that put on the desk picture. It was retarded. Yeah, it was ridiculous. It was fucking Redneck that invaded a government building,

so fuck him. But she's just as bad in my book. I have people all with the same goddamn brush. She might be worse. I hope they did put shit on the walls, though. I didn't see that. Was there shit on the walls? I didn't see poo on the walls, but I believe there could be there i think that there was a lot of people who were there to go in to go do some shit they didn't know what it was going to be i think there were people with like organized plans to do shit i think trump essentially um gave them the go-ahead to get as

rowdy as they needed to be although i think it's a a step too far to say he led them in or sent them into that place or that room or to do a specific thing. But I also think that there's FBI agents in that crowd who are instigating it and making it worse so that they can get extra charges on people because that's what the FBI does. Like anytime you see, I don't like to defend pedophiles, but every one of those Chris Hansen things or those to catch a predator things, what's on the beginning of that before you get some kook in your living room to humiliate him and ruin his

life, deservedly, is an adult talking dirty to him on the internet for days. He's over there fucking jerking off. For the first time in his lonely life, there's a sexy 15 year old who's so interested in him. Call him a daddy or whatever you want.

And yeah, send him fake pictures and stuff. And really, it's someone's, yeah, I just really want to see mom and dad are out of town this week. And he's just, I don't know what to do. And now Chris Hansen has you. You know? So yeah. In the car business, we call it putting somebody

together. What happened? I put them together call it putting somebody together. Really? What happened? I put them together. Yeah, I think it's true. Drinking in the chasta in the kitchen. In the trials, time and time again, all these guys who ransacked the Capitol were like, I thought that's what Trump wanted. I thought he would pardon me.

I thought I was operating under his orders. And Trump cleverly never says what he wants to happen directly like i remember with michael flynn i think uh he was in trouble for being a criminal in one way or another and he talked to comey and he's like man it sure would be nice if uh people would just stop investigating him right so i didn't tell you to do it i didn't give you instructions. I'm just telling you what would be cool if it happened. So he speaks in that kind of code. And then you look back and it's like,

Trump never told you to do that, but you knew he wanted that. Do you really want him out of your politics though? Oh, in terms of entertainment value? I think so. I'm too much of a politics nerd. Gotcha. I think that he brings out the best and the worst in his opponents and the others, though.

I think without him, we don't know that Giuliani is a shitbird. I think that he slides under the radar and maybe gets a position of power that he shouldn't have. I think because we've got Trump there just walking around with his fly open because he doesn't give a shit, we get to see all the fucking awards that me tell you him for what they are we knew rudy giuliani sucked as a new yorker no we didn't that was the mayor of america no no no hero i was there there was a there was a a colossal fall after 9-11 that just continued to get worse and worse and worse over time that's where i am with you cameo episode like seinfeld you remember like the cameo in sign yeah i remember like his absolute peak of popularity no i think 9-11 9-11 was when he had the highest approval rating but he was popular uh in that episode for sure like he was he was uh not again popular mayor or not two things that go hand in hand together because it doesn't matter whether you are a democrat or republican if you are you

if you're a mayor in new york you suck like plain and simple there's just no other way around it no yeah he had a lot of props because he took down the mob that was his main thing i think he used to be a prosecutor a da or something like yes yeah he was a d.a yeah he made the new york mob his his core issue his tentpole thing yeah and he accomplished it and he took down a lot of like maybe god he was part of that and so he was america's fucking mayor in 2001 i'm telling you I'm seeing no polls done during 9-11. Favorable ratings in 2007. 77% favorable. Dude, Mr. Consistent. 2008 to 2017.

That's just the guy wasn't knowing. No one did a survey on him. It wasn't 9-11 in 2001, so this doesn't help us. This isn't his actual run as mayor. For people who were young during 9-11, what happened was this. a bunch of Saudi Arabians hijacked planes and took down twin towers and some other buildings too. And then there was a leadership void. W was not on TV for like three days, four days or something while they were gathering information. Giuliani stepped up and filled that void.

Giuliani was a guy on the rubble with the bullhorn telling America it was going to be okay. That's how he became America's mayor. Remember the fire? I just want to say how much I love that to backfill people on info, you didn't just tell them about Rudy Giuliani. You made sure they were aware of 9-11 as an event. Yeah. Like someone out there is listening and they're like whoa whoa crazy to think that uh Saudi Arabians doing it but I was like I want that to go forgotten I think people think that a bunch of guys from Iraq or Afghanistan took out the twin towers but it wasn't because that was a common misconception that we were fed in the news

for a very long time it It's like they didn't say it, they just implied it. What are you, crazy GB? You think that was a mistake? You think they knowingly lied us into wars for decades? Never. You're a crazy person. You think we're going to do it again right now? You're crazy. Where's my tinfoil hat? Hold on

a second. All the wars are good. But that's what happened everyone was looking like where's bush and then there was giuliani you know telling america it was going to be okay and we really needed it so yeah yeah big deal all that shit where people are like oh bush did 9-11 i honest to god don't think that retard had anything to do that there's no way that guy knew anything was up i'm with yeah he wasn't even in charge of his own like if one of them knew it was cheney

not bush like yeah cheney was the and there was just no shot that cheney was gonna even though they did want to didn't they want a war in the middle east they wanted a reason to get out there they were their plan was to invade iraq before while they was running for president yeah 11 was just the reason that the way they were able to sell it iraq needed it i i was i was happy with the iraq war like the like like the idea of an iraq war just we didn't need any circumstance at all just go get them you know they're assholes uh that would have been fine with me i don't know why we stayed. Living over there doing their own goddamn thing for thousands of years. Pricks.

Yeah. Fucking cradle of civilization, my ass. Was it because they tried to get off the dollar for Petro? I've heard that, that that's the real reason. A big impetus of it is that, like, that's what happened with Gaddafi in Libya, too. Venezuela. There could be more than one reason, right? I've heard that it's because they tried to assassinate W's father.

So, yeah. Maybe both reasons. That's funny. Michael Jordan he's like, and I took that personally. That's what happened. I can tell you we didn't invade because of a vengeance for H.W. No way. I think we did. I absolutely did.

I think he was like, I think he'd been wanting to get them for a while. And they were evil people. They were very evil. Uday and Qusay Hussein. You don't know about the stories? Do I need to tell awful stories so you won't laugh at Uday and Qusay being funny?

No, I know. And those are all probably like 100% real stories. You know, like they say, wartime brings out truth. What do you mean wartime? I'm talking about the decades that they ruled over the country as warlords. I'm talking about how they would find, I'm talking about the decades that they ruled over the country as warlords. I'm talking about how they would find.

I'm talking about when Uday Hussein saw that married woman in her dress at the hotel and raped her in front of her husband because she was beautiful. Oh, is that so? Well, I didn't know that. Of course you didn't. They were evil people. You know what the biggest bank robber of all time is? I do. Yeah, you saw it on Reddit just like me. It's a fucking trick but i won't ruin it hold on hold on what is it the biggest saddam hussein had a sent a sent his son to the uh the first national bank of iraq with a

handwritten note that said give him all the money and he left there with three tractor trailers full of money it was like how much was it wo Woody? Like almost three quarters of a billion? 300 million in each truck, I think. Damn, that sounds right-ish. It was a huge number. Like 900 mil and 300 of it was never found. That's wild. Jesus.

I wanted to antagonize you about the Uday and kusei thing do you know how bad of a guy you have to be for some dude in missouri like me to like know who you are for like because i'd never heard that rape thing i heard the uh like feeding live people to animals shit like uh yeah not pigs i don't think probably i can't tell what's true what's propaganda but if it's even 20 true those people were they needed to die if cosby did 10 percent i'm talking about i'm talking about victim interviews that i watched and saw people talking about their baby skull being dashed upon a wall and the crazy torture programs, how Saddam would bring his children to the torture rooms

and watch his political rivals be tortured to death or raped to death or whatever when they were very small children. The baby skull thing just sounds Spartan. You know, only the best babies made it through that. Yeah, and that's why to this day the Spartans are so fit.

That's why the Spartans are twice as thick as a normal human. At birth, every Spartan is dashed against a rock, and only those survive. Not a very smart race. They're all very concocted. Can you imagine how jealous it would be? A very messy system, you know? Like if you were like a young boy in Sparta,

and then you saw a young boy inens and like what they got to do you'd probably be so jealous because you'd know that you hate them because you're supposed to but you'd also be like these fucking guys they don't have to go get fucked by some warrior every night they do like they do they all do i don't think it was a greek thing not necessarily a spartan thing i was reading the illusion of voluntary exaggerated that's not nearly i've read the opposite it was it was very common thing there's a word for that relationship like they have a word for the man-boy relationship in greek i'm sure greek is a word for everything well probably what stupid statement where do i go from here no fuck you that's where we go you're watching your wheels turn at that where you're like that's not even a reputation

of what i've said coming out of his head and he's just like this i was propped up to believe the Spartans were so fucking cool by my high school teacher and everything I learn about now says that that was all propaganda and lies and nonsense that they weren't this. I don't know what to believe anymore about the Spartans in particular

and about the Agogi and the way that they were. That's when those fucking young boys at seven would go and be taken away to become warlords. What I always learned was that they were at the barracks, the army barracks, 95% of their life. And they would go home to have sex with their wives to make new Spartans. But that was kind of a rare thing.

You'd just kind of go home and visit and get some relations. But mostly you lived there on the barracks with the men. And it was was just such a i was always taught that it was a super warrior culture what a terrible life and the age of service went on to i want to say and it's if it was 45 or 55 45 seems more likely for ancient times because what a grizzled veteran you would be at 45 you know you're in a leadership position or something at 45. If you take a 45-year-old and ask him to fight a 25-year-old with a spear, you're going to have a 25-year-old left over. Maybe, or maybe he's better at running that phalanx thing they did because they were like a turtle shell with spears sticking out of it

when you see the way it worked. Not if that 25-year-old has been training for 18 years since he was seven with it. I guess guess it depends where he's from right like like if he's one of those poor barbarian guys it was just like look at the turtle men with their shiny shell and he just ran into your spears yeah well if he's a cop he's fucked you can hit your 40s or even 50 and not be totally worthless but yeah i'm telling you if i played ice hockey now i'd get smoked like i'm just sure of it. I love how this all went back to the initial thing that Woody said.

He just wants to become an athlete, guys. That's all he wants to do. He just wants to be an athlete. He already is. Combat athletes are interesting, though. You're seeing more and more guys in their early 40s be at the top of their game somehow. Who are you thinking of? It's not Erie Prohaska is it is he he's not he it's uh it's his division but it's the other guy it's the guy who just um

they said he won against um is this ufc or boxing ufc ufc ufc what was the last fight i'm spacing out um me too i didn't watch that event there's several 185ers who were advanced in years who were just right there at the top. And even in... Heavyweight always has some older guys, it seems like, because they're just bringing that power. Yeah. 85, you say.

Damn. No, that's canceled. Are you sure it's 85? It's not Jan Blachowicz or whatever. Yeah, I was thinking of Jan. He's 205. You're saying like a 45-year-old would... I don't even recognize heavyweight

without Jones there to hold the table down. I don't even know who's... I get that and 185 mixed. Part of it's because they all want to fight at the other weight class back and forth all the time. You know. I guess this would be a fun merge of worlds. I'm a big wrestling guy. Do you ever think Brock comes back for one more? He said he wouldn't. I'd love to see it.

Kind of. I don't know. The trouble with Brock is you know there'll be one guy on steroids. Just overwhelmingly juiced to the gills. Yeah. I don't know. What do you do with a guy like that? The other guy gets bashed in the head. You get a Mark Hunt situation where this guy's a clean competitor and you're going to give him brain damage

for views knowingly. Mark Hunt should have gotten fucking paid because that's what they did. They let Brock fight Mark knowing he was on juice. Although Mark, I don't know why anyone never says hey mark um did he pass your eye test before you stepped into the cage with him they told mark hunt that he would have to pass usada and that he'd have a six month period and shit and you know like but then they made an exception that this guy didn't have to be clean for six months beforehand

and then he failed the drug test afterwards he was just totally juiced up but um bigfoot silva is another guy who failed the drug test after kicking mark hunt's ass and it's just like damn mark hunt and i think there's more examples too where he just got right by people on steroids repeatedly did oberim fuck him up too i would have to google i i I mean, Overeem, of course. Yeah, looking at Brock, every time I see him, it's like, man, that is that is an incredible looking human being.

He's, you joke about who you're sending to go. It's a specimen of a man, dude. You know, when the aliens land, and you gotta send your champion to go fight them, who do you send, Woody? The aliens land. They're bipedal like us, and they say send your champion to go fight him? Who do you send, Woody? The aliens land. They're bipedal like us, and they say send your champion to fight for eternity or whatever.

Who do we send? Do we send Jon Jones? These are actually in my head. Are we wasting some more time or are we gonna send Jon Jones to go fuck up an alien? He's gonna poke him in those big eyes. Make that the script for Independence Day 3,

and we are making money. Dude, if the aliens landed, and they showed up, and they were like, send your champion to fight for all of your fates, and they had their three champions, and we had to send ours, Jon Jones is captain of the fucking team. I feel like he's got to be. I feel like he's got to be. I'd send Jon Jones jones brock lesnar

100 percent he can send brock i don't think you think brock's the best heavyweight that i know one punch from that man can like you know who i would actually send real talk man still got it send iron mike in there let him go just let him get a few jabs in actually i did a panel with him recently and uh yeah and he very interesting guy um but that dude's arms are still just solid as a fucking rock man you could tell the man can just punch the crap out of you you know he doesn't have no problem he doesn't work out he's just genetically like that oh that's a funny story so the movie predator my favorite action movie um you had a lot of competition between the macho guys that

were on there you had arnold schwarzenegger jesse the body ventura and you had carl weathers of course who played apollo creed in the rocky movies and what what jesse would do he knows we're supposed to work out at 7 p.m ar Arnold works out at 7, let's say. So he gets there at 6.45, douses himself with water. So he's dripping with sweat when Arnold gets there. And he says, oh, you're just getting here? Been here for three hours. And then he does his workout, just begins it.

Mess with Arnold's head. Carl Weathers says, y'all work out? Huh. I just look like this. That's right, Carl. But then Carl Weathers has to sneak away to work out. He doesn't just look like that. That's right.

That's right. There's just three meatheads. Just three meatheads trying to one-up one another. It's just so silly. Who has the biggest biceps? I'm sure Kyle knows that story. Great story. Arnold, of course, gets the information from the wardrobe person

that he knows everyone's arm measurements. And so he challenges Jesse. Jesse, you know we should measure our arms. And the window gets a bottle of champagne. And Jesse's like, yeah, Arnold, that's a good idea. Let's do that. Let's do that. Arnold knows the measurements.

Yeah. What happened, I think, if I have the story right, a good idea let's do that let's do that arnold knows the measurements yeah what happened i i think i have the story right he put out some misinformation like hey everyone i've got 18 inch biceps i've got 18 inch biceps man i got the biggest biceps out here 18 inches they're really like 25 so jesse hears this knowing that he has like 21 inch biceps and it's like fuck i've got bigger biceps than arnold so arnold is like we should measure biceps winner get champagne sure enough he's been lying about his bicep size i've been had i've been had i was misled and i'm now a fool that's such a good accent taylor's got a good impression bro i was telling them the

thing they would do jesse would show up like arnold works at 7 p.m jesse shows up 15 minutes before arnold and covers himself in water to look like he's dripping with sweat and he's been there for hours he's and then he begins his arnold his workout so arnold can watch him just do it so it looks like he's doing six hours of workouts um Um, the other guy, what's the other guy I just said is Carl Weathers who plays the black guy goes, Oh shit. Y'all lift weights and shit. I just look like this. He doesn't just surprise you. He is a black guy. By the way, Kyle, I looked it up. You were right. Uber mean Uber Ream did beat Mark Hunt. K.O. to Mark Hunt had it. Yeah. He had a, I would, I looked it up. You were right. Uber mean Uber Eam did beat Mark Hunt. Yeah, he had a I would I can't think of anyone else who got punished by more cheaters in the UFC and hurt by more cheaters using steroids than Mark Hunt.

He paid the price time and time again, being in a heavyweight division and getting hit hard by the strongest men on the planet uh using all sorts of drugs and to be fair though he is a new zealander man he was a new zealander and those those guys are tough as nails bro like oh really you wouldn't guess by the way they sound but they are it's like those are just kind of like a like a dirty or – like a tough England is how they sound. Have you ever seen their football? Like their AFL? No, they have their own football league. Australian? Yeah, Australian Football League, and it's just – it's nuts.

Is it the same as our football? No, I mean kind of, but it's – Yeah, it's closer to rugby, a little bit more brutal. It'll never make its way over here. That's what Volkanovski did, right? It wasn't Alexander Volkanovski, who is the champion at 145 pounds, used to be 220-pound fucking football player. Really?

So now he's this little frick shithouse. He's like 5'5 five and he is a problem he went he fought the 155 pound guy and came so close to beating him that everyone like kind of a lot of people think he beat him and he like did you show me a picture of that guy he you show his name i still recall like like that guy on the right like if he stands totally still like imagine trying to move that guy like he's like he's like what he's five four five five so his center of gravity is lower than yours like he's you're not gonna die over is a tank guys you are all muscle like that really do well with weight cuts like if you have any fat on you, I don't know the science behind it, but it's pretty difficult to dehydrate your

fat, but people can get the water out of their muscles really effectively and just weigh 145 for 10 minutes. Look how stocky he is in that, man. In his AFL gear, I believe. This guy? His AFL or his rugby gear. If you want to be a fan

of you, if you're looking for your guy, this is the i'll fight anyone anywhere anytime guy this is the guy who honestly doesn't give a shit and he happens to be the smallest guy and he always backs it up they were like would you fight connor at 145 he's like 145 you're never making that weight again i'll fight him on 55 would you fight him at 170 fuck i'll fight him at 200 i don't. Like, he doesn't fucking care. He's just like, yeah, I'll gain 60 pounds of muscle. Fuck you.

No, he'll give him the weight. He said, bring Conor as big as you want Conor. I'll show up and whip his ass. This is the type of dude. This is the type of dude that was made for this shit, though. You know what I mean? Like, his mind mind his life everything has just led to him being a fighter these guys both of these guys are two um adesanya is on the left

um he is i i really dislike him um i as why he's steroids he's the guy who's fucking cringy as yes but that's not why he's cringy dude credit he Yes, but that's not why. Dude, credit Zuckerberg real quick. He looks good. Bro, Zuck looks wild. Zuck would fuck up Elon Musk at this point. Oh, yeah. I think Zuck beats me up, no problem. Zuck beats up a lot of people.

He's like a blue belt, isn't he? He's a blue belt, I believe, which is not easy to get. Yeah, he's a little guy. Looking at this, I'm going to not he's a little guy yeah he's a little guy like how big is he say he's like how looking at this i'm gonna say he's five eight five nine tops and like a hundred and fifty to 160 pounds standing there i agree yeah because i know how big the people are next to him and i think i agree with kyle yeah i guess the right guy must be real short yeah uh yeah and the guy on the left is quite tall.

Zuckerberg's 5'7", is what Zach says. So, okay. Damn, then this other guy, that guy's like 5'3", 5'4", of just absolute terror. And he's incredibly skilled. He was getting choked. I think it was a guillotine. And he was talking about how he knew that his opponent had a good choke, and so they've been

practicing he's like i'd let big guys choke me just i'd let them get it as deep as they could but it still was never as deep as it was that night he was like he was like i was looking at the sky and the lights were getting dimmer and dimmer i know and i just knew i he's like i know some techniques to change the mechanics of the choke to let a little blood get to my brain. But it's not working. They're getting dimmer and dimmer. And I watched this match. His neck is being squeezed as hard as you can imagine a neck being squeezed.

With both of this guy's arms, his head is in the armpit. And it's just arcing his back to choke him more. But the guy's arms were just a little bit too weak. And Volkanovsky would not stop. He wouldn't tap. So he's like, if I can outlast his arms, if my brain can outlast his arms, then I win. Then we stand up, and I'm going to fuck him up.

And that's exactly what happened. He outlasted the choke. He pulled his head out of that. Holy shit. Look at his eyes bulging. There's blood dust breaking in his fucking eyes. exactly what happened he outlasted the joke he pulled his head out of that shit he pulled his look at his eyes bulging their blood there's like blood breaking in his fucking eyes he's going his head out of that and whoop this dude's ass that's actually was that who's on top what a fucking terrible sport to be a member of this this just looks awful this looks the absolute best case scenario is you get to rub up against a guy

and win like that's the best possible thing that can happen is that if you rub up against a guy you've already won you that's right look at that guy he's having a great time because he's like it's the best way to find not fat people like i just go in there and i'm seeing definition everywhere i turn my head dude yeah there's so many perfect specimens at the gym and in this sport it's ridiculous yeah our boy sean strickland my favorite ufc fighter of all time i think now my favorite too and you can trust me because i have no favorites that guy is the funniest fucking dude to have ever come across my feed in the context of ufc he's hysterical he is in negotiations to fight the black guy we saw a minute ago with zuck uh in in uh in australia on the the coming up card um good for him they are he's trying it's kind of going back and forth that sean's so good on

social media at one point he was like ah they their mind. They say they don't want me. And everybody's like, no! And now they're back to the negotiation table again. Like, it came back. Yeah, smart man, smart man. I was going to tell you, like, oh, I heard they called it off. But I just kept listening. I was like, there's a good chance Kyle knows more than me.

Yeah, yes. Dude, I would love to get Sean Strickland over there. Sean is real outspoken to the point of verbal diarrhea. Just run off the map. He doesn't have a filter. His social media is wild. Let's get Sean on the show. Everybody tweet at Sean Strickland.

See if we can get him to just go. Sean, see this clip. This is why Sean Strickland's a badass. There's a lot of these dudes who are martial artists. Sean Strickland's still a fucking tough guy, if you ask me. That's how I define Sean Strickland. I see him in traffic on his social media recording while he's calling people out in traffic

you want to handle this like a man you want to pull over no guns no knives and the guy's like guns he's like no no no guns don't shoot do you want to throw down no guns no knives and then a woman he's having an argument with her you got a husband or a son that can come out here and stand for you

someone who's ass I can whoop, lady? He's so wild. Just beating the shit out of a seven-year-old at Whole Foods. Get that shit out of that basket. Your son's a pussy! He's eight! I threw him against the wall and his skull

cracked. What a fucking pussy. I fought this pussy's son and it's like, was 24 yeah like of course the ufc is really good right now uh in my opinion i think it's not always good i'll be honest the women's fight that that's about to go away dana's about to start deleting fucking divisions over there with the ladies but the men there's there's this big pile up at the top in multiple divisions it's fun to see. And then the divisions that were kind of piled up, starting to get a little slack and things are starting to move forward.

You're about to see Yair Rodriguez fight Alexander Volkanovsky. There's a lot of good fights coming up and a lot of divisions are going to change. And they got to figure out what they're going to do with Makachev and Volkanovsky. It's, I don't know. I've been loving it lately. And seeing Derek Lewis, the fucking black beast who was was on a three-fight skid, about to get cut from the UFC, on his last contracted fight. He can walk out the door free agent. There's more to it than that.

Essentially, he comes across the ring with a flying... First of all, he shows up with a virtual six-pack. He kept calling it a six-pack. It's not what I call a six-pack. He's a 270-pound man, so it was close enough. He came across the ring with a flying switch knee and hits the guy so

cleanly in the middle of his chin. It was beautiful. Then finish the guy and call it 30 more seconds. What I think could happen there, Woody, is fantastic. He's a free agent. He could go PFL. You know who's beaten Francis Ngannou?

The Black Beast, Eric Lewis. So you can just roll it back and do it again. I love how nerdy you guys are for this. Because it's something I'm not into at all, but I respect it. As a nerd of many things, I respect how you guys are just like, can you imagine this fight? Because that's how I am with wrestling. I think of pro wrestling, I'm just like, oh my God, we're going to get it.

I like that we find out who's the tougher guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can get down with wrestling to some extent. I'm more like the clips of wrestling and the highlights, and I like the 30 for 30 from the famous guys, Flair's a legend, all that shit. But I like that we can sit here all day and talk about Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt pitt or we could talk about this race car car driver from this era versus that one but with the ufc if we're talking about the best fighters in the world right now hand-to-hand combat they're there right now and they're

competing and every now and then they throw two of the absolute best as far as anyone's eyes can tell and they make them fight in a cage for 25 fucking minutes and it's crazy that that happens and we get we find out who's the better guy that's the best part about the ufc dana makes the fights that you want to see as much as he possibly can he tries to make that happen in boxing like you want to see pacquiao mayweather and i know we got the ghost of pacquiao versus the ghost of mayweather but those two fighters in their prime never met incredible dodged each other forever right now Tyson Fury has a legitimate contender I forget the guy's name but um Tyson Fury's hardest fight ever was against a small guy who was just a better boxer knocked Tyson on his ass and there's another guy who looks like him but more skilled I wish I was

better with names and who's he fighting a safe fight in in ganu it's a money fight it's an easy day for tyson fury and uh you boxers don't often fight the other best boxer that fight doesn't happen in the ufc yeah you've got dana telling who's allowed to fight who and they just match them together and you get gaethje versus poirier for the bad motherfucker belt you get uh you know these champions fighting the toughest guy the second toughest guy on earth it'll happen and if it's close they make them fight twice in a row i just feel like other sports three fucking times and i saw strickland talking about this uh about the money situation and why you don't have as many

ufc champions and as many u.S. fighters in the UFC. He's like, they go find these guys in Brazil and Russia. These guys wear a nice house, cost $200,000, and they give these guys 10 and 10. 10 to show, 10 more thousand to win, and they'll sign them on a four-fight deal, and they'll cut them after three. They walk away with their $30,000 to $60,000,

and their life is set. That's what you're competing against, Americans. So you're going to see a lot of tough fucking Dagestanis. You're going to see the most ruthless Brazilians, because that's all they need. They'll fight. They'll spend their entire childhood to win three fucking fights when they're 20,

because it'll make their fucking life almost if they're from those poor-ass places of the country. And they don't mind shedding blood. I'm less interested. Oh, for sure, man. If you want a superstar, he's got to be slick with it. He's got to be a Colby Covington. Look, there's a reason Ric Flair is my

favorite fucking UFC fighter and The Rock is probably my second. They were slick on the microphone and funny and they had catchphrases and cool moves. The people's elbow and and and cool moves the people's elbow we all know what the people's elbow is i mean it's is that stone cold i don't know the people that's the rock that's the rock or we all don't know what the most of us know what yes those of us who are educated in wrestling yeah actually zach brings up a great point i i think like right

now there's a wrestling's in a really good spot. And I'll say this. Unfortunately, I got to dip out. But wrestling's in a really good spot right now where, firstly, you have a lot of promotions doing really, really good work. It's not just WWE anymore. There's WWE. There's AEW.

Then AEW owns Ring of Honor, which is kind of its own split off thing but it's still very much aw so uh ring of honor is the promotion where like a lot of the current stars right now came from so cm punk uh um daniel bryan or brian danison right now the current world heavyweight champion in wwe which is seth rollins he came from there as well uh so they had a lot of like really good wrestlers coming from that. It was really cool that that promotion continues to live on. It had a lot of problems, so it was pretty cool. Then there's Impact Wrestling.

Then there's also wrestling happening in Japan, New Japan Pro Wrestling, because the borders have just merged so much now, where back then it used to be so separate. What happened in Japan happened in Japan. Brock Lesnar was the IWGP world heavyweight champion. It was actually one of its more famous ones.

Not a lot of people know about it in WWE because when he left, he went to Japan and wrestled over there and got better and became a better, a bigger star. Then he came over and started. Commercials. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like it was really cool. Let me ask you this. he's like hold on energy what do you like about professional wrestling but before you answer let me tell you what i don't like and why i can't get into it and i couldn't be a real fan sure if i were to turn it on what i what i usually see is there's the backstage thing where they act poorly and sort of hype up why we're mad at each other, maybe, or what the new drama is. Sort of the behind the scenes in the back rooms, the hallways. I don't like that. But I like the highlights of that because they're funny.

When Booker T dropped the N-bomb, hilarious. So then I go to I really like when they're out there and they're on the microphone and they're being very slick with it only the creme de la creme of that is interesting though because otherwise it's two guys in bikini briefs shouting at each other and i don't like that because it's silly yeah and then the wrestling itself i don't like i don't like the wrestling itself i don't like seeing them bounce around or the ropes and throw each other i'm not impressed by it i'm impressed by their toughness i understand it's tough and i'm not one of those guys just like ah it's fake who cares yeah yeah i get that they're doing physical feats but you've seen the blend enough as well you know from like ufc fighters coming over to wwe

and experiencing like oh it's a different kind of pain. You know, like that's how it's always described to me. Like, you know. Like it's stacked around. Yeah. But what do you like? Why do you? So it's a few things. What gets you going?

Okay. So a few things, right? Because, all right. Firstly, I love the live environment of professional wrestling. It's super fun. There's really not a lot of things like it because everyone that's there is a fan of something that's going to happen on the show. So they always have something to look forward to, which is really cool.

And, and, and it's just a really, really cool environment to be a part of, right. It depends on the show and where it is, but for the most part, like I have mostly gone to New York and LA and,

and it's been amazing every single time i've gone uh so that's that's the experience part of like going to a live show but like turning on the tv each and every week and watching it and i'll be honest i don't do it as much as i used to like back in the day like when you were talking about stone cold and the rock and everything like i was watching monday night raw all the time because it was so it was it was awesome but also we have to remember like our attention wasn't as pulled as it is now there's like a freaking metric fuck ton of things that want your attention whether it's streaming services or sports or video games or whatever wasn't necessarily like that back then so that's why we were so dialed in in the attitude era right and i really enjoyed it um but if you go back and watch the actual wrestling which i that is going to the second

thing that i really love which is the actual technicality of professional wrestling it is an art form it is it is different it's unique it's got it has its own rules and its own like methodology and and it may not make a lot of sense to a lot of people but you know fuck it man it's entertainment it's meant to be cool it's meant to be fun or just enjoy yourself like i know that like when i throw a person against a rope the natural thing isn't that he's going to turn around and just immediately come back and run at me you know like i just stop in my tracks turn around and kick the guy in the balls you know that's the most logical thing to do but it's a performance so you So you kind of go with everything. And I think that's really where it is.

Yeah, it's a performance. Don't look at it as a fight because it's not. It's a performance. Medieval times without dinner. Yes, but more entertaining. And I like medieval times. Don't get me wrong. Arguably.

More athleticism than medieval times. That's true. You know, I've never been. I tried to go twice. And I remember I tried to go one time you know what they fucking do they pull up the drawbridge when the show starts oh i wanted to go and they had pulled up an actual drawbridge oh that sucks like when you when you go to medieval times, you may get there and be like, this is going to be fucking stupid. It's pretty fun. I was excited. Eat your Cornish game hen with your hands.

Pop a couple edibles and just go nuts, man. I was a child, but I imagine Would you still like it as an adult? I don't know. I mean, I do like Cornish game hen. But yeah, the adults had these these old timey looking mugs of like me or

probably some kind of yeah old timey alcohol and I remember looking at those and being like that looks so fun like that's because we just got like little soda cups we didn't get to drink out of the big horn looking things the steins we went to a pirate one here

and then a thing that holds the horn? No. No, this was medieval times in fucking Branson, dude. There was not that. Yeah, inside of the horn was a cake cup, actually. Or now a cake cup, a solo cup. And then you take the solo cup out, and then you got to give them the horn back.

That's usually how it works. You want the horn ceremony. They just give you a horn that's curved, and you're like, I just have to hold this? I just don't want to go. You should, though. It is fun. Look, my advice, horn that's curved and you're like, I just have to hold this. You should though. It is fun. Look, my advice because I went to this Pirates one

that's close by here and you just go get drunk, pop a few edibles and have fun. Yeah, it's the same concept. It was Pirates instead of Knights. Same exact concept. They were all trying to do a thing. They all had colors and one was purple, one was yellow, one was red.

Then there were people cheering. It was a pirate ship with water. It was actually kind of cool, but the food was just utter trash. Again, that's what you're going for. Right after we've concluded our foot race, we should reward ourselves with

medieval times. There it is. I'm telling you guys the content right this is a brilliant i i think i know it is me and woody are going to work up quite an appetite for cornish game hen as i think we have our foot race during a performance at medieval times oh we should just jump in there

and see who can last longer against the security guards this is going to be just like when i did that thing with tilted kilt we'll all get paid too so we're going to be in costume when we do our foot race and we're not just racing the finish line. We're running for the swords. The weapon rack is over there. And there's three different

weapons. There's a sword, maybe a polearm, and a whip. No, a net. A net. I like the net. I'm not going for that net. I would fuck your ass up with a polearm. If those are the other two options, you're done. And because you're slow as shit and Woody's old,

I might make it there first. See, what you don't know is that Woody and I have conspired against you. It doesn't even matter. I'm too powerful. I'm too virile. You guys put both your hands on one of my arms. I'm tearing that shit right out.

We're going to do that thing where Woody gets on all fours behind you and I push you. You push me? There's no counter to that. You're done. Yeah, maybe. If I get a hand on you, though, I've got simian grip strength. I'll separate your hand right from the wrist. You'll be wearing greaves.

Wearing greaves? We'll all be wearing greaves. Yeah. Instead of medieval times, hear me out. You can bring your own Greaves. We go to a major league soccer game. We storm the field. Whoever stays on the field longest wins.

Dude, that would be so hard. What do they get? And each of us is wearing a different... You get a night in jail. All of us get arrested. We're wearing our shirts say lock and load um and they've got like a qr code and we're just scrambling trying to try to make enough advertising dollars to pay for bail yeah genius subscribe to the patreon the 20 tier is getting me out of prison

yeah more of the show okay with that no i saw i saw one recently like i don't know what i'm looking at half the time on the internet there's so many fucking fads and they come so quick sometimes but apparently there's a guy who does youtube shorts and clearly his ass isn't that big they've just loaded his khaki shorts with so much booty that it's comical but they say watching dude but he just does silly stuff and they did one where he storms the field at a professional game but he has six bodyguards wearing black secret service suits who are trying to fend off the secure the actual security we're trying to and for some reason just guys brains they ignore the security for the they ignore the men in suits

and they actually go for the diaper ass fellow who happens to be shockingly athletic. His knees are so high when he runs that, to me, that's a sign of a good athlete. Like, he's pumping. And he's got so much ass that there has to be a big ass under the pads. I saw this. It was on Motherless, right? Oh, my God. Thank you, Zach Zach he is athletic

that guy is face down right now because he's laughing too hard he's like I can't ruin the bit please stop laughing I've seen him skateboarding and stuff and he's like down in a low position with that ass sticking out.

Yeah. See, I don't know what the joke is. I don't know who this guy is. Clearly, that's not all him. You don't know what the joke is? That's a joke. Yeah. The joke is that ass.

Not a complicated joke. It's a monster, right? Dude, you're on a desert island, and that's the only ass you've seen in three days do you go for it yeah man that's a lot of cheeks that's his name is jim kardashian that's great that dude is it's got a sydney crosby ass yeah i've never seen an ass that big that that's one of the larger asses i've ever seen in my life but now to see him get down on a skateboard like real low is fucking comical um i don't know what that is or who that is you said jim kardashian yeah huh yeah probably not i think you said you had to go yeah i do i do i just want to be rude because jim kardashian sounds incredible uh

i'm looking it up right now no that's probably his real name jim i like how i type jim i type oh there it is yeah lincoln secretary's name was kennedy and kennedy's secretary was named lincoln okay it was a tiktok content creator frankie la pena uh in mid 2021 uh he calls himself Jim Kardashian. This is great. Is he the same guy that did the green screen behind him? They look similar. The one who's in a job interview having an MMA fight?

Yes. He jumped out of a plane with a green screen so you can't tell he's jumping out of a plane. He's got goggles on and his hair is getting blown backwards because he's going 150 miles an hour. That's crazy. Well guys, I want to,

anything you want to pick? Oh yeah. Uh, I mean, I'm going to come back. I think I'm going to start streaming again. I don't know. I kind of just decided to stop,

focus on my life, play more games and chill out with my wife. And that turned out to be great. But now she's like, okay, I'm chilling a lot with you. Go stream. So I think that's probably what's going to end up happening. And then I'll be working at Valorant Champions all month as the host of the show.

So if you're into Valorant Esports, I'm the host. I'll be doing that for a while. Yeah, and other than that, just kind of chilling. Thank you guys for the invite. I really appreciate it course man you're doing well yeah check out all the golden boys links below you'll see the free reach out and check him out yeah hit me up again i love the i love to join up again it was super fun appreciate you guys all right have a good one take it easy guys see ya kyle have you seen finster's new romantic interest?

I know all about it, yes. What? My finger is firmly on Finster's. What's my boy Finn up to? He's got himself a lady, a real one. A lady, a female woman. Yeah, a real lady. She's been on his streams with him,

and they've been getting all flirty with each other and doing little cookie streams and i was actually a little confused she's just a traditional girl yes that is not that's not it that's not sure who that fellow is but um yeah there's a there's a there was a girl with a vagina i'll say um who's friends with fenster i think it's some sort of romantic interest it's such an important part streaming a lot together you know in person in the same room and getting all flirty and and and you know just making jokes and stuff to titillate his fans which is what he does yes so that i saw a clip where i don't know what the truth is so i know nothing don't judge finster by this but the chat said he had a mommy kink. And then the girlfriend is like, do you have a mommy kink? And he's like, what?

No, that's crazy. And he's looking at the chat and he goes, cut it, cut it. Stop saying it. The chat does not stop saying it. They're like, yeah, he's got a mommy kink or whatever. And she's like, backfired on him. You want to call me mommy? And he started like like

i i forget what he calls her whatever but let's say her name is kim he's like no ma kim and like like he wrote he rolled with it was really funny and i don't know if he's a mommy king i mean he's funny he's a guy like he's true he's girls usually are yeah the funniest girls are usually someone like thin a cool guy who just likes to look shaved legged and svelte sometimes have you uh has anyone invited you to go to the barbie movie taylor and if so would you attend no i have not been invited to go to the barbie uh no i wouldn't go to a gi joe movie either i would assume it's for that's what i said that's what i fucking said yeah we're lined up brother because you don't take their fight you don't fight on their front you know what they want you know what they want oh you think i'm

stupid you think i'm gonna start the argument they're locking down immediately you say absolutely not will i go to a barbie movie and they're like patriarchy at its best what are you talking about i don't go to movies about fucking toys yeah fuck gi joe fuck barbie fuck the uno movie fuck battleship none of it's happening shut up whore i'm about to go grab my stick not wider than the width of my thumb from the closet that's a myth unfortunately god damn you boondock saints i hate when movies give me little tidbits of information that i hang on to like kernels of knowledge for the rest of my life then i then it turns out they're lies apparently the rule of thumb quote unquote as as explained in boondock saints is not that at one

point it was legal to beat your wife with a stick as long as it was not as what it was more narrow than your thumb that was just some nonsense that fat bitch made up at the beginning of boondock saints yeah obviously like when you think about that critically not obvious to me i could see that in feudal times especially like maybe in old england or something like maybe the the ceremonial ass whipping stick oh speaking of ceremonial ass whipping sticks there's a loophole fucking seek and destroy did you see that look at how small this bullet is. Seek and destroy. Where are we? Yeah, so I spelled seek S-I-H-K or whatever, though, like one of those seeks.

Or is it S-I-K-H? Oh, S-I-K-H. That's psych. You know, this is a Taylor question. I bet Taylor's just laughing and is trying to spell seek. I wasn't laughing until you said psych. I think it's P-S-Y-C-H. It's S-I-K-H.

Yeah. So Seek and Destroy is when that black guy tried to rob that Sikh fellow. And he's behind the counter at the gas station. And he is taking all of the tobacco. And you got to keep in mind, if you don't smoke or you don't know, I don't even know what they cost now. They used to cost like $7. They probably are $10 in a lot of areas. $10 a

pack, let's call it, and he's getting hundreds of packs. He's back there with a trash can with wheels on it. And he's raking it all in. Just pouring it in. I think I saw him take condoms too, which are equally kind of dollar versus size valuable. Yeah. And it's a take condoms, too, which are equally sweet fucking dollar versus size valuable.

Yeah. Yeah. So and it's being recorded by this customer. And then the guy tries to leave. And suddenly we see a white fellow that I haven't seen yet. And he's a stocky, strong man. He's the gentleman holding the robber down on the ground right now. The man with the broomstick.

No, that's a fucking mop handle is the seek fellow you can see his little turban there or whatever oh yes this guy's legs he beat this guy's legs and ass so severely with this he's giving him the most powerful overhand blows he can muster if this was an rpg you'd have propped all of your buffs and And that's what he's done. It's just whack, whack, whack. He hits him like he's trying to split a thick log. Like he's giving it. He's trying to kill him. Oh, and then, so I didn't know that guy was white.

Maybe I misidentified him. But yeah, the guy holding him down is putting up a bit of a struggle. Right? It's not going smoothly. The guy on the ground is trying to escape. And just as the video ends, the guy on the ground, I hate to call him a victim, the thief, we'll say, his head gets exposed. And I'm like, now it begins. And the video ends.

I wasn't with you there i i'll tell you what i was doing though anyone who hasn't seen the video search it out it's easy to find uh he's beating about his shins his calves and they're these really hard blows and then and the guy's screaming in pain and this video is fucking hysterical the guy is swinging so vehemently that at like around swing, like 17 to 25, he's like taking the time, almost balking at it and realizing it's a poor swing readjusting to better hit the knees and shins of this guy.

And the guy getting hit is, ah, no, it's okay. It's okay. And it's like, no, it's not okay.

You just tried to steal a fucking garbage bag full of cigarettes. i think you're getting a little little comeuppance here yeah because the guy was telling him not to steal his stuff and he's like i will fuck you up and i think he might have been if he wasn't reaching for a gun he was implying that he had one he like he looked like a fake knife he had like a it looked like a jimmy bar something like like some sort of flat bladed tool probably not a knife but something that he's like a it looked like a Jimmy bar, something like some sort of flat bladed tool, probably not a knife, but something that he's like grabbing it and sort of threatening with it and sticking back in his back pocket and going back to work. I love the end of the video. The last three or four whacks are right on his ass because the guys rolled over to hide his shins. And the guy recording, who's also black, mind you, goes, that's what you call a ass whooping.

also black mind he goes that's what you call a ass whooping uh-huh and i'm cheering along every time he swings the first time i watched i'm like whoop him whoop him whoop him because he's hitting him right across his ass with this big axe handle like pole as hard as he and you can hear it it's whack whack whack i loved it i loved it i wanted more i didn't get enough i thought thigh and shin shots did weren't appropriate punishment do you remember that old clip of the guy at 70 i got 70 the whacker good for the whacker he's he's in shape he's a king he looked good love that guy do you remember that clip from many years ago of the two women jumping over the McDonald's counter and the McDonald's guy picking up a large piece of metal, like a thin piece of metal and smacking them and like two smacks into it. It's clear the battle's won. Like it's over.

And he just keeps being like, you're half right. The battle's won, but it's not over. The battle is right, but it's not over. and he's smacking them so goddamn hard and talk i think at one point he's like i'm not going back to prison or like some sort of like just screaming my favorite part of that my favorite part is he kind of stops for a minute because she's saying stuff from the floor up at him and i thought she was begging but she's not she's talking shit and he goes oh yeah oh yeah and then he like goes back to work again and it's like why would you ever insult the man he's not he's skinny but he's tall like the big man standing over you with the metal rod

why would you do anything he's already shown he's so i'm so sorry sir i'm so sorry that's what you should be saying when he's when the big man is beating you with a red rod. I should have salted your fries. I'm sorry. He whipped their asses, and I think he got away with it, too. I'm pretty sure he did. I hope he did.

He did a service. I mean, he went overboard, to be fair. Like, not in my personal view, because I'm more sort of a street justice, fair is fair kind of thing. Like, oh, you thought it was funny before. It's nice to see people get their comeuppance. I i love when you see a video if i were director the the thing that works the best on me is when someone's being bullied or beaten and you you know that

somebody's gonna come and rescue them but they don't like they give you another 10 seconds of the beating oh yeah it's gone too far you're like oh keep bullying little timmy and they're like damn you cut timmy a little don't cut him fuck are you are they gonna kill timmy oh shit and then the comeuppance comes like you really gotta push it a little bit further and i love it i love it and you see so much of that in street justice there's the classic video where the guy is just driving through and i think they like hit his car with something they instigate he gets out with a fucking baseball bat i'm metal in it i'm metal one five you've never fought a man with a metal baseball bat then good for you you're probably smarter than these fucking i used to be smart

before the damage yeah before i fought someone with a baseball bat now i can't wipe myself that has this beautiful sound it makes obviously i never use wooden bats because you only use wooden fuck pros pros you don't play the majors yeah you never had to make i'm just saying like like you don't fuck with wooden bats until you're like a career player yeah i don't know anybody ever i've never seen a wooden bat that's other than like the jokey ones you buy at the store. That's a beautiful sound, that ping it makes. There's another great video, two girls fighting with aluminum baseball. One of them has the bat, the other wants some, and she gives it to her.

Hits her in the face with an aluminum bat. Ping! It's insane how I know the video you're talking about. Dude, I bet you'll know this one. I think a girl or two is coming to bully somebody, and she's at her own house, and she grabs a shovel, and then it turns out a shovel to the head is a very effective weapon, and she just one-shot KO'd. Yeah.

16-year-old girls don't have a chance for shit. That's brutal. I don't know if there's a UFC fighter that could stand up to a shovel being swung to the head. Shovels are often made of tool steel. People don't know if there's a UFC fighter that could stand up to a shovel being swung to the head. Shovels are often made of steel. People don't know that's like a special kind of strong, durable steel. It's not the same as

the steel you use. I would imagine it's a hard steel, like a high carbon steel so that it doesn't get worn down. Yeah, but would it be a human jaw? Yes, it would be a human jaw jaw I've got a shovel story the gunsmith that my father and I would often use a bit of an eccentric man and behind his gun shop

were some chicken houses, poultry houses and they were empty and clearly run down and we asked him what happened to the farm he's like they cut me off oh and what that what that means is that the poultry company cut him off they fired him and would no longer send him chicks essentially he's done you know you're a contractor you need them to send you birds or you're not a chicken farmer anymore i'm like what happened well they were here

catching the chicks one night there's a mexican walking through the chicken house knocking the light bulbs out with a stick one after another another. There's a light bulb every fucking six feet for 500 feet. Two or three wide. And pop, pop, pop, knocking them out. He said, hey, what are you doing? I'm turning out the lights. That ain't how you turn them out. Pop, pop. out walks away from him he said I looked down there my shovel was

so I picked it up walked up behind him he popped about two more before I got to him that was his last one cause I laid that son of a bitch out and that was it you know he knocked the fucker out apparently

he rubbed him up some more after he knocked him out and that was you know he knocked the fucker out apparently he rubbed him up some more after he knocked him out and they cut him off but i always turn the man's lights out i think um i you won't recognize this one but some guy uh i think a dog someone like a pedophile was involved right so a kid got raped or whatever and then and then maybe it was an attempted rape. And then people interrupted him in the course of it. And then they detained him until the police got there. It took about 20 minutes for the police to get there. And the top comment on Reddit was like, holy shit, they detained the fuck out of him because he had two black eyes, a broken nose, cuts on his face, bruises all over his body. And that sometimes I take a lot of joy in that, like when they detain the fuck out of a bad guy.

I saw one where a father is beating up a neighbor who was good. I think he was a sex criminal, like out of jail. You know, they knew. And he'd been coming over, talking to the kids in the yard or having the kids come to his yard like that. And he'd been warned already. And the dad's on top of this dude that's bold fucking him up with the most meaty open-handed slaps you've ever seen they they hurt me to watch him and he's telling good he's like you he's like i kill you right now i kill you right now you know I... I poked him a little. And the guy... I... Pow! Pow!

These big fucking slaps. Man, he slaps the shit... I start feeling sorry for the pedophile around minute three or something. Because he's on this guy, in this guy's yard. He's like, I warned you, you son of a bitch. He's just all these threats. It's just like, I'm going to kill you next time, basically. I might kill you now. It's that.

He keeps going back and forth between, I'm either going to kill you next time, basically. I might kill you now. It's that. He keeps going back and forth between I'm either going to kill you now or next time, but I can't quite decide, you sumbitch. You better convince me. It would have been nice if he just kind of took care of that problem for everyone. You know, that's why... Give him the key to the city. I like it when they give pedophiles the option

of chemical castration because that does seem like the right move because because i don't send them to mars make them fucking storm that beach just send them up into space test stuff like that how how close can we fly a pedophile to the sun let's here we are with the pedophile team best of mars they say no children up there I'm afraid are there boys no no not for you not anymore we've compiled a team of the seven most competent pedophiles the world over like a

montage of them being smart and thinking about stuff and writing on chalkboards and then just like raising a child like and then it like pans out because you're not seeing what they're drawing on the chalkboard and it's all like children it looks like astroph seeing what they're drawing on the chalkboard, and it's all children. Yeah. It looks like astrophysics, but they're really just planning to kidnap children.

It shows them studying intently, fades out, Barney. It's a shame. Yeah. I'm glad I'm not a pedophile. Of all the things you could be, I guess we've all got weaknesses and biases. You know what? I'm also so glad you're not a pedophile. Aren't you glad you're not a pedophile aren't you glad

you're not i'm very glad i would make it you know if you were in jail for pedophilia i don't want to insult any previous guests but if you got caught for pedophilia i would not send you letters and maintain a friendship let me say this if i get caught no they're framing me up because that i promise you're gotta help me. If nothing else, help me kill myself because it's probably already over. If they keep on pedophile charges, help me kill myself because they got me already. And I didn't do that shit.

They're just gonna have to see me in there anyway. Help me. Please. That'd be so scary. I don't think you have to ask to be killed in a prison if you're a pedophile. They literally have to put you in a different area so you're not killed. It's going to hurt the way they do it though. I want a fucking silk pillowcase

to choke me out at night or something. I don't want Mongo to poke my eyeballs out. Dude, why don't you just tie a bunch of tearaway clothes to your bunk bed and then lean slightly away from it? Yeah, I probably...

That's how Epstein killed himself. Do you know how fucking hard breakaway intentional tear away clothing pulls at your esophagus? I'm not going to shatter your larynx, dude. Like, yeah. You think that was that other dude who

went in there when the cameras malfunctioned? Doubt it. I think it's Mitchitch hedgeberg the guy was telling the story about this complete different change of topic but he said that mitch went to a he'd been living off the grid and uh he went to a hotel needed a room and didn't have a card they said we need a card he's like i don't have a card but i've got a whole pile of cash like six thousand dollars here you know he's like gotta have a card he's like you see but this cash is what that card represents what you're doing right now is it was like you was trying to hire

a frank sinatra impersonator and then frank sinatra showed up and you had a problem with that i love that that's so funny doesn't he wouldn't take the wad of cash to hold the room. I hate our modern society. I love in old movies when someone walks up and hands the guy a golden coin and then just walks into the room. That's all we need to say. Here's $5. That gets me the room for the week.

I like that. Everywhere I go, they want my fucking phone number. They want my goddamn name. I want to buy a vape cartridge. Let me get your name, your number, your address. I'm like, no, no. You can't have any of that. Give me that fucking vape cartridge. What is this?

We're not friends. Yeah. My mom doesn't have my address. You can't buy. My mom doesn't have my address. Dude, you can't go into a CVS without them accosting you for something. Oh, sign up for our rewards program.

Sign up for this or that. No, I don't want to sign up for your Nordstrom, your rewards, your Walgreens, your nothing. No. The worst ever for that? GameStop. GameStop. Oh, my God. I would be like, I'd like this video game.

No upsells, please. I'd say that. They're like, do you want to join our program? No upsells, please. Would you like this? No upsells, please. You want to join our program no upsells please would you like this no upsells please you want to buy this used no no i just want this and i want to go yeah and that's what it is it sucks because like oftentimes like when your manager is standing next to you and you're in one of those jobs i remember like working at the rental car place and like having to get away from my normal

super speedy best because i was the best customer service guy you could hope for the best you got insurance brother yeah get out of here get out of here get out of here you like that that was the tier of selling it there's no situation in which i should get the insurance unless you were uninsured no there's no what if i intend to fuck with the car like like all right this is a honda accord and there's going to be some off-roading should i get the insurance yeah uh if you say off-roading they will mark it i'm not going to tell them that oh okay well yeah obviously don't mention mark uh off-roading and get the insurance and just make sure it's cleaned enough so that there's not a huge

amount of mud under the wheel well because if they see a bunch of that they'll go this was off-roading your insurance is declined since it precludes off-roading so make sure you clean it before you bring it back. Oh don't worry the lake's gonna wash all that mud off. Here's the thing I don't

really know what happens if you throw a car into parker reverse while you're still moving at a good clip like i know you're not supposed to but i i've never seen what happens it makes a lot of noise anymore yeah my guess would be nothing anymore that there would be a clutch or something that would immediately be smart enough to go let's not kill ourselves and you would just hear a lot of as it slipped and allowed stuff to turn instead but what if you did it in a manual what if you're going fucking 70

press the fucking clutch through that bitch in reverse and drop the clutch again what happens if you're in a if you're hypothetically if you're in a Hyundai Accent flying through an open field of gravel drifting the Hyundai Accent, it's flying through an open field of gravel,

drifting the Hyundai Accent, hypothetically. Because you can drift anything in that. If you throw it in park right away, it makes a loud noise and then screeches on the gravel to a stop. I was going to say, instead of the transmission braking, it might be that the tires skid. No, you would never get that power. I guess I was on gravel i wouldn't know

the drive shaft is carrying so is carrying so much momentum so is the torque converter there's a lot of metal spinning in there at a high rate that's going to have to stop arrest and turn the other way and then deliver that power to the tires and it's all coming apart before we ever get it there like it's coming apart at the at the point the transmission attacks attaches to the engine that that fucking i don't know what you call it that main rod and if you look at just a transmission that's in the center that it's blowing up the transmission gonna explode that's my guess if you're going fast press the clutch put her in reverse give it gas might as well and then let's drop the clutch just i think you hear a huge explosion and that transmission would fucking i think it would

it would be a point of contact where it just exploded i don't know if the transmission would jump out of the car or anything uh and with race cars all kind of crazy shit happens there's so much torque the engine can actually rip itself off the uh engine mounts and go for a fucking ride uh i like those have you ever seen when they take the trucks and they put them on the um the those fucking uh stands and like floor them i don't even know what they're fucking doing but the trucks explode a lot oh yeah the dyno testing that's it yeah yeah that's smart it's not a sport they're just trying to make the engine more power they're measuring the engine's output i think it's a sport. They're just trying to make the engine more powerful. They're measuring the engine's output.

I think it's a sport with competitors and a whole thing. You know, I wouldn't doubt if people competed to get the highest results. You know the way they super cool PCs and have those competitions? I think they do the same thing with the Cummins diesel. Yeah, it's coming out of there. It's leaving. You see, that looks broken. it's a goings diesel yeah you can tell that like i don't know nobody around knows it's happened yet not really no they're about to find out yeah i don't see people getting hurt in these it seems

fairly safe but it's spectacular when they pop And it's also got to be so expensive because the insurance doesn't cover any of this. He just blew, I mean, shit, $100,000? What does it cost? You ruined the truck, probably. A big number, yeah. Ooh.

Yeah, that's a weird one for me. I've seen a bunch of these on Reddit. I guess the engine is so heavy, it's not going to fly that far. It looked like it kind of just went like, and kind of fell back down. I don't know. Or at least in that explosion. Yeah, that's cool though.

I like how things float. Ukraine war? You've been following it as much as you used to? Not at all. Who's winning the match? What's the deal? All I've heard is just like random nonsense. Ukrainians making their little games. No. I follow it every day and I feel like you're pretty much on target with that uh ukrainians are on the offense there was an incident where two russians were gathered on a beach and you can see them so when i say beach they have the

they've got so much american equipment that's great We're in a drone way up high. And it's so high that you can see that it's like the Florida Keys have these little wisps of land. It's like that. But when you get down there, it's like a beach that's 70 yards wide and continues for a half a mile or something. They're on that. The Russians are training. And you can see they're broken. So I just want to add to Kyle's story. They're in Crimea on the beach at the farthest point from Ukrainian-held territory, Ukraine.

And they think that they're safe. They think that they're outside the range of Ukrainian arms. There's 200 of them, and they're broken up into divisions of some kind where they're in maybe five groups of 40. Well, they shoot five HIMARS missiles. Kyle, can you describe a HIMARS? I think most people don't know. It's rocket artillery, essentially. It's American.

Yeah, and it shoots a lot of these things. It goes for a very long way. And the particular shells that it shoots, it's the thing that they call God's Shotgun, the thing that riddles everything below it with molten hot tungsten flying at incredibly

high speeds and it just destroys everything in a huge swathy area, very expensive per shot, I think it rips through tanks through tanks, through armor through people, through anything it is most things don't rip through tanks, through armor, through people. Most things don't rip through tanks. Tanks are pretty good at stopping things from going through them.

It's the point of a tank. But apparently a high Mars molten tungsten going it mock something rips through tanks. So they fired these high Mars. It's just soldiers who were being gathered on the beach and like I don't know spoken to and motivated train something and they just ripped tons of small holes in all these people at pretty much the same time and got something like 200

kills in a minute something crazy what you see is a big explosion in the center and then immediately after this sprinkling all around it in this huge circle of dust pop up and those sprinkles are all those little chunks of uh tungsten rain because obviously it's air bursting over them to spray them with all that um american technology is just the fucking best that's why i'm not worried about those aliens man let them come either they better

hope that that's what they would do they'd come and they'd show up and they'd be like what the fuck do the these monkey people do nothing but war apparently like look at their planet no no look let's challenge them to a 1v1 yeah yeah yeah and then they see john jones and it's all over we end up being their leader john jones becomes their leader he's gonna get caught for that's the movie that's the movie we think the problem is the is the is the aliens being our overlords but when john jones beats their champion he becomes overlord of earth and the aliens and we've got a new problem to contend with we have john jones mortal kombat this is how they make the next mortal komb combat movie this is exactly the story i like that i mean i don't think that our best champion well again it all depends

on the kind of aliens they are if they're little small aliens they were obviously people they they evolved from sloths and they're very smart they're arboreals and they're very smart. They're arboreals, and they're very smart, but they move very slowly, and they cannot contend with our... If they're sloth people, we can deal with that. How about this, Jack? They're like crustaceans. Like they're a crustacean people. Yeah, like a crab folk, but they're about human size.

Like an Oidberg or Noidberg or whatever from Futurama? Zoidberg, yes. Yeah, except more intimidating than that. You often call people Jack. Is that like... Calm down, Flick. We're having a conversation here, Flick. I know Biden does it, but I wasn't sure. Maybe it was a Midwest thing.

You're stealing a Bidenism. Hey, Jack. You're being a real dog-faced pony soldier interrupting Taylor right now. That's all I'm saying, Jack. A real dog-faced pony soldier. I don't know about's all i'm saying a real dog face pony so i don't know about the jack by the way by the way when you know when you understand context everything seems better that's a movie quote that biden is accurately delivering in that moment so it's like that i had never heard of because it's from a biden it's a movie that biden probably watched as a boy 46 came it's it's a fucking um cavalry movie or something like that because he's talking about

fucking dog face funny it's it's yeah it's my favorite it's called the birth of a nation and i heard it was a movie quote and that no one could find the source of the movie when i looked into it maybe since i heard him use it again recently really and yeah that's how i know because either i looked it up or someone explained it on whatever program i was watching it's i watched so much shit i uh i always keep the tv on like when i'm doing chores or fucking working on the house or whatever i really like these educational programs i'm getting my got my information diet like x jaws can't can't stay up as many hours as he can but i'm i'm doing the best i can you can with a little assistance so biden spokesman says the line comes from a

john wayne's film but it's not clear it does that's kind of what i found too when i look into it yeah it's like biden spokesman says that well biden spokesman's probably 42 so i doubt he knows too much about the john wayne films no No way. I was really shocked when she rolled out with the dick pics the other day. I mean, it's... Yeah, at Congress. You saw that. Oh, you guys mentioned this to me. Yeah, yeah. That the blown up photos of

Hunter Biden getting blown. I mean, it's Hunter Biden get his dick sucked in an old frame. It was blacked out, right? Or was it real? They blacked out just bits. They blacked out just enough of it to make it g-rated and to cover his face but i'm clearly looking at hunter biden getting his dick sucked and she's on his knees and he's fully naked in a room i can i can make all these things out there's another one hunter biden has his hands like this with his dick presenting it to her

it's just like dude that's so funny. Or maybe it's her hands. Yeah, I was going to say. I think that she's receiving like this or something, but there it is, blacked out, and you can tell what's going on. Wait, is it an adult woman? Yeah. It was a prostitute, a paid prostitute. It was a congressional

hearing about Hunter Biden evading taxes. So she brought up, I guess, his most embarrassing moment. Well, all six of them. She had multiple photographs. Each photograph had three or four instances of him getting it on. Because what he liked to do was take money from the wrong account, again, whoopsie daisy, and a prostitute uh to make porn with him that was his bag i'm sure it still is you don't just get past that right right do you think he actually wanted to make porn or it was something where it's like if we're making porn it's roundabout legal

we're not doing this right right we're filming this we're gonna do a little uh uh i'm a porn producer actually i started an llc at legal zoom three minutes ago and now no one has made that that's such an astute observation taylor i truly believe that that is what was going on to some extent that would be my guess i think that the hunter biden laptop is to what was just evidence that he was not paying prostitutes but was instead a porn star and was meant to be so the whole time to avoid more seriously or sneakily like being like no it was for we just hadn't distributed them yet yes there's 10 years you don't need you don't need we're releasing a huge thing a big reveal into the if you don't think hunter biden is the coolest presidential child

in the history of presidents then you're the kind of guy who only fucks missionary you have to tell us wait wait you have to points of comparison i don't know any others other than chelsea clinton and and chelsea clinton wasn't the obamas i don't know what the hell they're up to i don't care they smoke pot in public that's the coolest thing the ob kids did. I bet George W. was wild as a young one. He is a presidential child technically. Yeah, and so I bet he was good. Drunk driving, cocaine, car accidents. Owned baseball teams or owned a minor league baseball team.

Into a coffin, I believe, or something like that. Maybe he was in a coffin. Did he smoke coke off a hooker's ass, though? Who has that? That's such a baseline cocaine and hooker thing to do like i yeah if they were doing cocaine in the realm of hookers and they didn't do that i'd be like why you were in rome do it's a huge waste of cocaine really i don't know i don't know i don't know well i mean if she's some like jittery lady who's gonna shake all the

coke off her ass yeah i don't think cocaine is that expensive know. Well, I mean, if she's some jittery lady who's going to shake all the coke off her ass, yeah. I don't think cocaine is that expensive, right? Art, if you have a cocaine heart. As far as drugs go, they're pretty pricey, I think. Right? But if we wanted to get, like, how much is a gram? I feel like, I don't know much about cocaine, but I feel like if we got two grams, we'd have a heck of a night. There are like three, four guys with two grams of coke, right?

I bet it's hundreds of dollars for like two grams of coke. Right? God, I don't know. How much is a gram of cocaine? You can tell none of us do. Here's what I found. Hard drugs. Cool kid drugs. Oh, shit. Taylor, let's take a guess before Woody informs.

Okay, one gram of cocaine. What do you say? I'm going to say a gram of... How much would one gram of cocaine what do you say i'm gonna say a gram of how much would a gram of cocaine be i'm gonna say a gram of cocaine is 125 i'm gonna say 180 184 really these are 2021 prices but yeah damn i didn't even go over dude yeah you get the fucking showcase and mine and i'm gonna be like i'm gonna take the risk i'm gonna take the risk i'm gonna go for the

yeah i already know door one is what you wanted yeah but door three could be anything it'd be door one that's like that's one. That's so expensive. That's so expensive for one. But how far does a gram go? Not far at all. A gram of powder is not that much. I don't even know how many lines become a gram.

We need a drug guy. I think we have like three or four or five nice fatties on a gram of cocaine that everybody would be satisfied with. Yeah, but it's cocaine. And if you've ever been around people who are doing cocaine. Constantly back for more. They do the cocaine.

And then like within genuinely like 15 minutes, they're like, I need more cocaine. And it's like, did you realize like all the people smoking weed and like drinking beer they're gonna be fucked up on that all night like that and it's way cheaper like you can just get high are you saying it doesn't last or they just want to get higher it lasts so short compared to like uh or alcohol or something and so they'll get gacked out of their mind for 45 minutes and then it starts coming down and you start feeling shitty and they're like i need more i need more coke like it is fucking hilarious being around friends and hearing them like we were like mid-20s or whatever and they'd be like all right i'm not getting any cocaine tonight and i'm like you say that often i bet you do and then like late in the

night it's like everyone else is having a fun time like drunk or smoking weed or whatever and then like late in the night it's like everyone else is having a fun time like drunk or smoking weed or whatever and then these guys are like guys where is the hookup where's the coke guy and it's like you're harshing everybody else's shit right now with your like obsession about needing coke and then they get it and there's like a fight between them about like you did even more than i did no i did i didn't do as much as you well we're already through this fucking like three grams or every guy it's like doing coke are they skinny fun uh generally speaking if they're really into it but most of the people i've seen were just normal people just doing it uh coke addicts are skinny yeah a coke addict

would be skinny anyone who's addicted to an upper is going to be skinny unless they are playing through the pain in the kitchen yeah you think yeah that's just not this doesn't interest me at all i would much rather it's the most boring drug i've ever done in my life you're amped up for fucking 20 minutes you feel pretty good and then it goes away so much better like if you've got good at like a good instant release, 10-20 milligrams of Adderall, it's such a better ride. There's so much more happiness. It tastes like shit. If I'm going to try a new drug, it's going to be

Ozempic. That's the way to go. No, you're not. Don't take that shit. You're just going to be sloughing off muscle. The weight on the scale goes down. No, you don't want that shit. It seems like that's for morbidly obese people.

Zympic is a weekly injection that helps lower blood sugar by helping the pancreas make more insulin. It is not approved for weight loss, but some physicians prescribe it to be used for weight loss. I'm going to keep reading because I don't know what it does. Mm-hmm. to keep reading because i need to i don't know what it does on average with the recommended starting ozempic dosage of 0.25 milligrams a 500 to 1000 calorie reduced diet i don't know if that's reducing it by i suppose it's reducing it but which yeah on what size person um and exercise three times this is stupid that never yeah it's almost like this is brand new like they don't they don't know shit.

Seemingly. Oh, there's some videos here who explain it. But there have been so many celebrities on Ozembek. It's like their most effective advertising. I think Ozembek is the next like to Dalafil. Like just it becomes widely consumed and that it has a huge impact on our population. Once the manufacturing kicks up right now,

it's rare. Scarce is a better word. But it's going to be the next mega drug. It makes people thin. I think you're right. Okay, so there's another drug called Wagovi. W-E-G-O-V-I. And it's a higher dose version of Ozempic.

And it is approved to help people manage their weight. This includes adults and adolescents age 12 and older who meet certain basically fatty fatties yeah being fat yeah like super fat people who only have four packs disgusting there's a picture of a woman here and she looks like i don't know gimley's mom or something like big fat um how it works i'm really interested so here's what i would be interested in. Something that I inject and it just kind of does its job at making me get not as fat on as many calories. Right? Like however that works.

I don't care. I want to be able to eat more. I always want to be able to eat more. No, it's an appetite suppressant. It's an appetite, but it doesn't sound like that because it's making the pancreas make more insulin to lower blood sugar. That's how it treats diabetes. I would think that there's a similar mechanism helping weight loss like something to do with insulin and glucose levels i'm out of my depth but i think taylor's right

and insulin and appetite are somehow related i don't care about appetites present because i've got something i have like i don't know willpower plus like whatever else like i don't care about appetites present because I've got something I don't know willpower plus like whatever else like I don't need that like but apparently that's what it is because that make it easier to stay lean well that's the thing Kyle is you are absolutely not the target market for this drug because you have the wherewithal and the discipline that when you want to make a change you're going to do it so if the principal benefit is to help someone who has no willpower staying away from chocolates and candy by fixing their insulin so they don't that's genuinely not like that wouldn't that wouldn't be good for you because like you don't need that

to elevate your insulin or lowers it? I believe it increases insulin to lower blood sugar, but I read it a minute ago and those are very similar sentences. I'm with you. Zach wrote this, elevated insulin not only increases hunger, it impacts the types of food you crave and how foods taste and how much you eat. In short, elevated insulin makes you hungry and leads to overeating. Ozempic is a weekly injection that helps lower blood sugar by helping the pancreas make more insulin. So it's not clear to me why more insulin would.

So does that make you insulin resistant over time? If something spikes, how much insulin? It's meant to treat diabetes in low dose. And I just know it's more effective for weight loss. It's just people are having, you know, the transformations you can hardly believe. Like, that's the same chick. Or, oh, my God, now you need that, like, skin removal surgery.

Zempek is delishing that out all over the place. And the celebrities that, that like these chicks that were hot but now they're like 38 and they're just like a little thick they hop on ozempek kim kardashian got back in like prime shape and she's in her 40s um from ozempek oh okay well yeah it'll probably be hopefully there's no i want to hear what derrick says we don't know about that that's always done a lot of videos on it but it's difficult to like you you know they're like 27 minutes long and it takes a really focused attention span to extract the thing that i'm trying to gather from it but i think the takeaway is it works um but you know as soon as you hop off it, you get fat again. So if you want.

Even if the side effects are like bad, like is like even if it had bad side effects with those side effects add up to worse than like diabetes or like, you know what I mean? Like I know it's new and they don't know. You know, like are more like punishment pain related. Like you get really nauseous. You don't enjoy food anymore like it you look better but you are less happy you just come off i would not want to be able to take it sustainably um derrick was telling me about something sexy no it's a derrick and i talked once about derrick and i talked once about um something that i could potentially use if if um

like hunger pangs were a real issue. Because I was like, nicotine helps. And he's like, yeah, nicotine will help. And you bang that. And if it gets real bad and you just can't fucking stand it, then there was something else. Maybe it was a SARM or something like that. Maybe it was

some numbers and letters. I think I remember him mentioning that there's a thing you can take. You just can't fucking stand it. And you can take that. But I never escalated to that because I was never. I was always hungry, but I was never just sitting there fucking hitting my thigh. Like, I just need a chip.

I feel like your success was so good that it just kept that reward effort cycle going. That's a big part of it. Yeah. I'm getting results from doing this. I like doing this. And do you like every single aspect of doing it? Was there no pain? Not no pain, but the gains were worth the pain.

That's my take on it. What everyone does when they get motivated to get into shape is they hit it hard for six weeks, and they still haven't seen any results, like not at all a lot of times. And they look in the mirror, and they can't even fucking tell the difference after six weeks. And they're like, God, it's been almost two months. That's why your brain works. You're like, I see people doing three-month transformations, and here I am halfway there, and I don't even see a change this isn't worth the pain

i want some food i'm hungry you know what pizza has a lot of protein then you'll start talking about like use macros to trick you into junk food oh they'll do that and they'll do that and then they'll quit uh but when you're going full force tweaking all the knobs on your rpg character and min maxing everything including steroids you know testosterone which is what it is you see results fast six weeks and i was like oh shit that oh shit that was six weeks god what is 12 gonna look like and in 12 it was like i didn't think it was gonna look like this what is six months and it was every time you like take note of yourself and compare befores and afters and especially the way i was keeping up

with um the the dexascans and i had i had the hard numbers it's it's just like playing your rpg character that people often say that if people ran their lives like they do their rpg characters they'd all be fit millionaires. Because if you look at how people run their RPG characters, it's like, oh my God, you got everything where it's supposed to be. Your house is even well made. You know what I mean? Like you went and put the little gym, you hung pictures on the wall in your fake house. You got a perfectly clean Skyrim house in your filthy hovel of a gaming room.

Yeah. But if you have those, because they're an rpg for one thing it's a fun game but also you get instant results you grind a skill long enough all of a sudden you punch guys and something happens and just just seeing those visual results that you get from trt and everything else really kept me motivated every step away that and having people to disappoint namely derrick um Didn't want to disappoint Derek because I made a promise. He didn't ask me to make a promise, but I was just like,

dude, because he's putting so much time into it for nothing seemingly. I was like, you've helped me so much. You've clearly spent so much time. I will not let you down. I promise I will not let you down. This is going to be cool. I was so scared of those weight

check-ins with derrick and failing them like and i've said it a bunch of times but i'll keep saying you see fighters that miss weights or weight or fucking pussies and they're not professional and it's embarrassing yeah that because it's all willpower. You're a pussy. It's embarrassing. But I remember texting you. You have an injury where you can't walk. You do arm pedals like you get the work done one way or another. If you're a professional. I was doing it for funsies and I did it.

You're getting millions of dollars. It's your livelihood. It's your family's livelihood. You're a pussy. You're not professional. Embarrassing. I don't remember what game it was, but when you were in the middle of that transformation, I remember texting you one night in our chat like,

hey, hop on, let's play this. And you're like, I really want to, but I just weighed in, and I'm 179 instead of 177.6, and so I'm headed to the gym. I'm like, are you sure? And you're like, yeah, Derek will be mad like just go there i did get i can't remember what my final weight was i think it was like 167 or something yeah it was i think you were in the 160s like you were yeah yeah i dude that was so when i broke 170 it was like oh shit we didn just crack it. We broke it wide open and went to like 168.8 or something. So it was like, I don't feel sick.

I don't feel nauseous. Every now and then I get lightheaded, and I'm having these waves of heat and stuff. But I see UFC fighters crying in tubs. You know what I mean? You're tough as hell. I clearly am. That's what I'm getting at. Look, I don't like talking shit if I haven't done a thing.

But when I see those people 60 days in, it's like, I did that, you pussy. Stop crying. Fucking get back in there, you pussy. I did that. And when I see those people who can't cut, you know, another pound or two or miss weight by, like, Wonderboy Thompson, nicest guy in MMA, very professional, wonderful man from South Carolina. His opponent missed weight. He said, I'm not going to fight you. They didn't pay him. They haven't paid Wonderboy. And he followed all the rules. Now, what I think they're going to do is they're going to let him fight Kamaru Usman in Australia on that massive card.

And that's a real, that makes up for it. But when your opponent misses weight after he's agreed to it in a bout agreement, and you've he's agreed to it and about agreement, and you've spent six weeks paid coaches, nutritionists, traveled, flown, worked day in, day out. They usually do six-week camps of just hustling every day with all those people being paid. And then the guy misses weight by four pounds, and you don't get to fight, and there's no paycheck.

It's awful. So what – yeah, the rules are interesting on this so if you make weight and i don't you have a choice you can either skip out of the fight or you can choose to fight me and take 20 of my purse now i don't know who he's who he was fighting but if i'm fucking connor mcgregor and you get offered 20 of my purse you take it yeah but if i'm woody and no one knows me then maybe you're like shit everyone who fights a guy who misses weight loses to that guy who missed weight so it's smart not to take the fight you might remember uh wonder boy famously lost after he took on darren till when he moved up uh even though darren missed weight even though he was moving up to a new weight class

so it should have been easy for him to make weight he fought a guy three and a half four pounds over lost and it his career went dead like he was on his way to the championship and that set him back go win three more and we'll talk again it set him back a year and a half two years and here he is i don't know four let's call it 38 to 40 something like that he's there again he's a win or two away from getting the fight for the belt maybe and he doesn't want to go fight a guy who's over and you know it isn't the ufc though you go out there and do something spectacular and you cut a good promo they they'll send the number seven guy up to fight for the belt it's all about that you've just got to fight you've got to be spectacular and you got to cut good promos because the guys who go up there and bow and fucking win and leave eventually they'll

let you fight maybe you gotta have like a nine fight win streak if you're gonna be a boring it was 12 i think didn't tony went 12 motherfucking fights in a row before they finally got around to it i don't know if that one's fair because I feel like he got a bunch of title shots and they fell apart. Yeah. Poor Tony. Tony got a little lucky.

Here's what happened. Tony had a bunch of fights canceled and then he would fight a fill-in guy or he'd avoid a fight against a really tough guy like Khabib. I think that'd avoid a fight against a really tough guy like khabib and i think that the perception of tony being like a top five guy lasted longer than the reality because he wasn't tested i don't i know i know one thing for sure after gaethje he was never the same again gaethje it i tried to watch that fight again the other day and i can't watch that it's it's like watching a hate crime

really really hard he hits so hard tony has a good chin and i remember between rounds they're like hey hey hey gaethje dial it back a little it's like you're trying to take his head off his coaches told him he was punching him too hard but i don't think he dialed it back at the end his coaches are saying just stop the fight you can hear can hear him yell it because it was one of those Apex fights with no crowds. Yeah. And Tony's face was flat when it was over and bloody and broken. It was awful. There was no need for him to take all that.

Yeah, it's a real shame to see a guy who I think won a dozen in a row and then just got an interim belt and danced around fighting for that championship for years and was just never the same guy after Gaethje though I think I think I don't know it's a sad story I hope that he finds a new gear in life um after this like but I don't know what it would be because he's so weird on the mic yeah we can. I'm sorry. Just meandering on Tony Ferguson, my mentally ill UFC fighter friend. Hey, 659.