Painkiller Already - PKA 675 w/ Harley: Boogies Teeth Repo, Woody ODs, Immortal Kombat

Episode Date: November 25, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 pka 675 our guest harley taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro freeze pipe blue chew and lock and load a bunch of wonderful sponsors we'll talk more about them later kyle you're muted harley thank you for joining us what up what up thanks for having you dude do your people celebrate thanksgiving and by that i mean canadians the tall yeah i took that six different ways right off the bat uh yeah yeah like a month ago though oh but we're not we're not like a month ahead on Thanksgiving I think we're 11 months behind that'd be about that that would line up appropriately but yeah we did that in October the same foods we do like turkey and potatoes good question do you do other shit oh well i mean like i know you
Starting point is 00:00:46 guys do mac and cheese right do you yeah my family but definitely some people like i've seen mac and cheese i don't see mac and cheese a lot here i know some canadians are like this guy's a fucking idiot what's he talking about but my personal experience mac and cheese doesn't show up a lot cranberry shows up cranberry does show up so once you have turkey cranberry stuffing everything else is like noise right it's pretty much the same mashed potatoes are another staple for me mashed but yeah yeah but but like stuffing once you do stuffing because turkey and potatoes you could see that like in july that's fine you know what i mean yeah yeah turkey and stuffing and cranberry now we're we're thanksgiving turkey in july is just a bad barbecue like someone didn't
Starting point is 00:01:27 buy the shit that people actually want like if you went to a barbecue in july is that we have turkey or smoked turkey or something i'd be like what the fuck man like where are the ribs i got some ugly takes some ugly barbecue takes fire like i know I know that I'm crazy for this. I know because I've tried. I don't like brisket that much. It's insane. Wrong. Yeah, I know. And also, even like that's like the only good Jewish cooking at the holidays is the brisket.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Everything else is like fish hot dogs. Jesus Christ. I agree. Another thing I don't like, I don't like watermelon. What? And I was like, yeah, and I've tried. I don't either i don't like watermelon what i was like yeah and i've tried and i want it's overrated i think it's the most overrated thing people usually love it and hype it up that what you just said i would if everyone was like that i wouldn't have such a i wouldn't even talk about it but people love watermelon it looks like something like it looks like cartoon food it looks like the
Starting point is 00:02:22 tastiest thing ever but yeah the watermelon i think lives up to the hype and if you're willing to make a watermelon juice that is like i hate that even more but here's the thing i'm on i'm with you here i think strawberries are overrated and i try to hold up that's the dumbest shit i ever heard in my life and i want to talk about that that's fucking crazy revisit this opinion close your eyes bite into a strawberry and be like you know this actually isn't as cool i'm tasting a whole lot of like seed aftertaste the strawberry itself is not that tasty like it's kind of watery strawberries are one of the lowest calories of all the fruits and vegetables so i want them to be like top tier, but they're not. A grape will fuck a strawberry up in a taste competition.
Starting point is 00:03:12 A blueberry will wipe the floor with a strawberry. I love grapes. These are strong flavors. A strawberry, bite one again. It's like the weaker cousin of the, what's the green one? The kiwi. The thing I wanted to say real fast about watermelons that I love about watermelons,
Starting point is 00:03:30 watermelon's like a single item and it's a party. Like it's feeding everyone. Watermelon's like... It's almost like carrying a deer in. Everyone's having some. It's a lot and i like that about i want to be part of the watermelon party it's also self-contained like it's ready to go like obviously i used to shoot tons of watermelons there'd often be a bunch left over or sitting
Starting point is 00:03:55 around and it was if you're hungry it's like get out your knife you know there's a whole bunch of food sitting there you can you can fuck a watermelon better than a lot of other fruit pumpkins better pumpkins better for fucking you probably you got it got a rigid you got a solid rigid one i don't know if i could do i'm bending myself jack-o'-lantern pumpkin to tell him you guys are missing out on clementines just say that's why they call it a jack they call it a jack-o'-lantern what do you think don't stop on the mac and cheese though you know where that came from right like why don't we all eat mac and cheese famous president here's a little trivia love trivia famous president who uh was instrumental let's just say in the importation of macaroni and cheese
Starting point is 00:04:36 and its acceptance on this side of the ocean who was this is this trivia okay hold on let's do okay backwards engineer this were there any presidents who are known to be cheesy who had Chester A. Arthur I'm looking for a president that looked kind of fat early on is it John Adams no not at all John Adams was a
Starting point is 00:04:58 family man he didn't enjoy his time in France I'm told did he have strong ties to the black community very strong ties to the black community? Very strong ties. Was he black? This could narrow it down. Well, that's actually the bonus question. No,
Starting point is 00:05:13 though, is the answer. I'm going to go Chester A. Arthur. Yeah, no, no, not Chester from, that's the I believe the cartoon Cheetah. Keith, you thought it was a Cheetah. I thought it was a Cheetah. Kyle tries to convince us that Ben Franklin
Starting point is 00:05:29 was a president. In my world, he always is. He was up there. He was in the mix. Everybody gives Thomas Jefferson the credit. And it's mostly true. Because I think when he was in Paris, he had some mac and cheese. It was all the rage there. And he was like, oh, this is the best.
Starting point is 00:05:48 So he bought a black slave cook who could make it and took him back to America and introduced it. And had it cooked at the White House. And it caught on like wildfire. And everybody loved it. I love the idea that he had to kidnap someone to master macaroni and cheese. Is there any chance you brought this up on the podcast before?
Starting point is 00:06:08 Because the White House thing is ringing a bell. Did we talk about that? A special cook in the White House? It's our first time discussing politics. We talked about that. Didn't we talk about that big jacked chef who drowned or something? And then it ended up not even being the big jacked chef
Starting point is 00:06:24 who drowned. It was some other White House chef that died. He's beefing with more plates, more dates or something. I fell for fake news on that one because I saw a picture of the big jacked black guy and it was like, this guy drowned and it's like, yeah, with a person that dense, he probably fears
Starting point is 00:06:40 a lot. He's hard for sure. He couldn't get close to it. I admire someone who achieved that physique. Zach, can you get a picture of this White House jacked black chef? He's next level in terms of his physique. But he's also one of those fuck shits who pretends to sleep two and a half hours a day and doesn't do steroids. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:02 That guy's less believable than the liver king at being natural like he's so with you yes yeah the liver king is just strong shoe nice that's all that's going on over there oh yeah you're not okay we believe you yes yeah he doesn't your forearms look like fucking boners rush here a fucking liar i mean i'll call him a liar online i'm brave as hell i'm like from the burner account yeah there's no way this guy is in the world of chefs there's no way he's that good how much time is he in the gym i want a chef no way he's that good how much time is he in the gym i want a chef like gordon ramsey body he's not disgusting and fat because i don't want to look at a big fat gross person but he takes a very reasonable amount of time to care for his physique so you know that he's actually grinding i in a
Starting point is 00:07:58 dream world i like that universe but you take this chef like if you if you want to be if you want to be like this guy knows how to eat like i'm always going to eat muscle food i'm only getting muscle look at this guy he's a fucking ball of muscle he only knows how to cook muscle food it's like a different it's a different type of specializing you work for trump i'm not against it yeah so he definitely was making burgers that's him being like uh yeah do like uh do an impression be like trump saying like uh oh you don't think i'm i'm fit have you seen my chef or something like that take a crack at it lots of people talking they're saying i'm a big fat fuck and look at my chef look at him look at how big he is look at how black he is i love black people
Starting point is 00:08:41 he's one of the good ones folks that's that's probably how he would have led it i haven't done him in a while i need to bone up but yeah that's good still you still got it he's got it like if i had a big chef like that i would probably switch his job i wouldn't fire him that's too scary i would make him my head of fitness and then i would get like a really good to slightly overweight chef yeah bodyguard too i'm gonna have a hard time like imagine imagine you're president states right all you have to do is ring a bell hit your coca-cola button whatever you get anything you want anytime that guy's gonna know what i really eat you know like on my bad days i think i don't
Starting point is 00:09:22 want him bringing me trail mix and judging me yeah i think if anyone if he judges you once you send him back to wherever you found him whatever xfl he's not whatever xfl team jim back to the canadian football league with you sir take your vials and your pillies and get the fuck out of here more you're injecting him in like an abandoned stairwell like you're not he's not judging you like you're putting needles in him yeah trump is trump is uh sliding ahead in the polls it's it's that more and more polls i've seen more polls today oh they're more saying he's a hit i know a couple weeks ago it was a big story today yes his favorite is um biden's um unfavorables or whatever are higher than Trump's, which is
Starting point is 00:10:05 I think that's the first time. Unfavorables. They ask the question, do you like this guy or do you dislike this guy? And sometimes there's a lot of people that are neither of those. But when you say you dislike them, they're kind of unpersuadable.
Starting point is 00:10:21 That's my thought. Trump was up high on the approval rating, like 56%. So what's that mean compared to what was Biden? Probably 30-something is like a Biden approval rating. I know they're pretty low on him right now. My bet is looking better and better. I went to like a gambling site like Bovada or something and looked at the odds there.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And obviously we don't know how to read those numbers. But Trump is the guy who's um i'll never learn but i was more interested to see like who's an eighth ninth tenth twentieth most likely to be the president when you get michelle obama's who is the most the highest most likely to be president i I guess is what I'm asking. And did that include Democrats? It was Trump and then Biden and then Gavin McGinnis. And then after that, I don't remember the exact orders, but Hillary Clinton was way down further than I thought she would be. Because I feel like if she came back...
Starting point is 00:11:19 Wait, surely Gavin Newsom is who you're talking about? Oh, yeah, that's what I meant. My bad. Yeah, obviously. I had like 12 questions waiting. I was like, damn. I don't know. I had 12 questions waiting. I don't know what that guy's up to, but things are booming for him. He's the guy who founded the Proud Boys. I forgot.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Yeah, it ain't that guy. He's in prison. That guy's in federal prison doing time. Well, that doesn't hold you back. No, there's no way that guy's in jail. Is he? Was he the Cuban one? No, no, no. He's a white guy.
Starting point is 00:11:46 He has a podcast that he uploads. Oh, then I don't know about him. He still does a podcast. You guys should get him on. He founded the Proud Boys. You should probably get him. And then left it. You guys should get him.
Starting point is 00:11:57 It didn't like the direction it was taking. No matter what he believes, we believe the opposite. The entire time. Just obstinate, frustrating, frustrating refuse to listen i don't even know what he's about he's a big trump guy gab mckinnis he is um i feel like it's a difficult thing to to answer in a straight up question i actually watch his show quite a bit uh not a person not a person i i over like i i agree with on uh many things all. And some things are like he has a sense of humor. It's hard to describe.
Starting point is 00:12:30 He started Vice also. Oh, really? Okay. Here's a good thing. He put one of his turds. He froze it and put it in a condom and sucked it off on his show. Dude, that's classic fascist. We agree on some things, man.
Starting point is 00:12:49 I feel like it's hard to describe, but on levels, that's just a good. You're making that up. He didn't actually do that. Yeah, I watched it. I watched it. I saw it. What's wrong with this guy? What's wrong with me?
Starting point is 00:13:04 Why did I watch it? You wouldn't do that. You weren't like, this guy's making a lot of good points. Squatting over a condom, spraying all over your fingers because you didn't eat healthy the day before. It's not coming out solid. You need some sort of apparatus to make that happen. I'm imagining like a piping bag where you could just...
Starting point is 00:13:22 Like your taste decorator. He kept it in a condom and he sucked it like a penis in the condom it was a frozen turd so it stayed zach i'm gonna need a fact check on the shit condom oh yeah oh yeah we got a guy i forgot yeah pull it up sorry and i'm not having any luck so this is one of those times taylor where you're like harley's nonsense and then you google it and it's like yeah harley's nonsense if you search gavin mcginnis blowjob poop condom uh google gives you almost nothing and bing gives you a lot but none of this is gavin mcginnis so you've gotten all the wrong kind of information over on bing where you're like oh there's a lot of people doing this there's a lot of there's a lot of proud boys out there sucking off it's
Starting point is 00:14:10 because you guys gotta you gotta go on a different browser you're uh gavin news browser's wrong anyway it's gavin newsom not the guy on yandex the russian google so not the founder of the proud boys the not the shit sucker. Okay. The disgusting one, Gavin Newsom. Actually, I'm looking now. So and Ron DeSantis is up there quite high too. He's kind of tied with Gavin. Vivek coming in behind that.
Starting point is 00:14:37 RFK coming behind that. Michelle, 20 to 1 on this page I'm on right now. Michelle Obama? Yeah, 20 to 1. 40 to 1 on Kamala. 40 to 1 on Mike. 40 to 1 on mike mike already dropped out so this must be a bit older i need to find something yeah there's still a chance there's a non-zero chance he becomes president i i don't think so i think so i get it seems like the the republican debates have just turned into the vice presidential uh. I think that's what they should do.
Starting point is 00:15:06 There's only one person on that stage willing to talk negatively about Trump. DeSantis? Or Vivint? It's Chris Christie. Oh. Yeah, and everyone else is like, Trump is great, you should vote for me, but man, he was terrific.
Starting point is 00:15:21 And that's like a VP stance. Yeah, everybody wants, like, I'm Trump plus, plus, plus. Yeah. Everybody wants like I'm Trump plus, plus, plus. And Christie's like, ah, I'm Trump. Negative,
Starting point is 00:15:30 negative, negative. All that crazy. And it, which sucks. Cause like, I don't know. I feel like Trump kind of took him under his sweaty wing over the years and
Starting point is 00:15:38 looked after Chris Christie. I know he was with him in that event that I went to, like there they were like doing, you know, going back, bouncing back and forth. Uh, I hope he picks with him in that event that I went to. There they were bouncing back and forth. I hope he picks Nikki Haley. Just because it's a lady. Get a lady in there. She sucks.
Starting point is 00:15:55 No, I want a brown lady. We need a brown lady to combat their brown lady. Okay. That's just... This makes a lot of sense. Tit for tat. Then pick a better one. Tit for tit. Not it for her more accurate yeah
Starting point is 00:16:06 okay i don't know if this is true i'm glad taylor liked my joke i'm so sorry i literally had like such a panic attack like i was like did i make up this guy sucking his own frozen shit okay and like freaked out like i messaged a buddy that i swear i saw with and i was like dude did you did this guy did he not freeze his in a condom and and suck on it and uh like somehow i found this video 650 views so like here it is i don't know how i found it i i don't click it if you want on youtube you don't have to you don't have to it's him sucking his shit it's exactly as i said but i was terrified i couldn't even listen to you guys talk it was like noise i was like did i make this up and why
Starting point is 00:16:55 would i make this up i was like why would i make this up i was actually bad tripping for a second oh here i am 30 seconds he's about to suck it and and yeah not oh not bad no teeth he's he's doing the chicken head that i don't like how you're watching it but it's good for the people it's good for the listeners at home because you're really that's he's nailing our marker boards this is a politics show well like i don't know if that's like to stick it i don't know if that's to stick it to the libs but like it might be consider them owned because no one's going to bat with that like that's that's truly insane there's no way that's real shit i'm putting on my tinfoil hat that can't
Starting point is 00:17:40 be real shit that has to be like a a squeezed up Milky Way or something. Because that's insane. That was chocolate or something. I did find a video or a still image that apparently he did stick a dildo in his ass during a show to show he wasn't homophobic, which is genuinely hilarious.
Starting point is 00:18:00 That's really funny. Well, the problem is the guy is actually a crazy dude. He says some shit that I'm like, whoa, that's really funny well the problem is the guy the guy's like actually like he's a crazy dude he says some shit that i'm like whoa that's fucking crazy unfortunately it's one of those scenarios unfortunately this is a very funny person like he's not though i believe not but yeah he's uh he's uh he's are you yelling at he's a really bad guy but he's super charismatic he's not a really bad guy well i don't want to like listen listen okay sometimes you just i just miss the days when i just watch a show and a person says some shit and then i turn the show off it's just weird now that world war three
Starting point is 00:18:34 is starting so like you look at some shows you're like that's just kind of weird now a couple years i'm not this one i'm just saying in general things how it's all playing out things over the last uh couple years are getting crazy. But remember what you said earlier about strawberries? Yes. That was probably someone else. I'm not thinking of that. Well, the thing that you were saying was that they don't taste good, but I did a cleanse
Starting point is 00:18:55 once, the wild rose cleanse, and I had... Actually, lately I've been wondering. I said shit like that. Prove that you're not a fag. Did you do another daddy Yeah, lately I've been wondering you need to like that All right, all right like a juice cleanse or't want to talk about it anymore yeah i've done it many times i've done it like over the last 12 years and just drink black coffee you don't have like sugar it's nothing crazy it's just
Starting point is 00:19:34 you eat like chicken and you you don't eat red meat it's just like you know it's not like what he said it's not like that no like all the time for me it's like the straightest cleanse it's called wild they call it the hetero cleanse straight it gets all the straightness out of you this is like if you like if you're white and straight working man this is the cleanse for you during this cleanse you masturbate to lesbian porn because not a lot of guy in it is gay no porn only gay the only way you can get off is with anal stimulation in this so uh anyways uh i did this cleanse um and then after it's two weeks and then i went and i had a
Starting point is 00:20:16 strawberry after and uh i was like oh shit that's how they're supposed to be because not too long after you guys know i love drinking like diet coke or like fucking white monster because i am a white monster yeah and um the sweetness level of these are so insanely high once you reset and have perspective again strawberries are crazy sweet but once you have one diet coke strawberries taste like zero they taste like water berries wait actually is that actually a thing i was trying to diss strawberries i may have offended a whole other berry out there yeah strawberries uh but um strawberry i like raspberries but like i wish raspberries felt like a strawberry i'd rather go hungry than eat a raspberry
Starting point is 00:21:06 you hate raspberries that much ah he's too straight for a raspberry and i also hate i remember woody when we were at that um um berry tasting convention yeah the berry tasting convention no we were we were having some sort of raspberry lemonade at with breakfast in chicago at theacker Barrel Old Country Store. And Woody told us all how the raspberry flavoring in the tea came from beaver anus glands. And I was like, ah, well, I don't even like raspberry, so not going to brave through beaver anal glands to get some more. And I changed my order. That's a little bit of the chicken
Starting point is 00:21:44 and the egg, though. Maybe beavers eat lots of raspberries in the wild. They don't. Subsequently, anal glands. They don't. Why wouldn't you just use raspberries for raspberry flavor? Is this true? The beaver thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah. I know we looked this up and I know it's true. Yeah, like, guys, is it gay to eat raspberry flavored candies? No, but it's gay to eat a beaver's ass because you like the taste of raspberries. That would be gay. You couldn't do that. What if it's a girl beaver?
Starting point is 00:22:17 Then that's straight bestiality. This is all degenerate math. How does God feel about that? Would he rather we commit straight bestiality or gay bestiality? I think you get to almost a critical mass of sin that almost any more than that is just locked in. I wish Mortal Kombat had a straight bestiality DLC. Doesn't fucking Baldur's Gate have that?
Starting point is 00:22:41 You're goddamn right. I've fucked all sorts of animals in there. I was thinking something completely different when I said straight bestiality. But yeah, no, they have that yeah goddamn right i fucked all sorts of animals in there i was thinking something completely different when i said straight bestiality uh but yeah no they have that what were you thinking something like twisted fucked up mortal combat thing where they're uh sexually it's just it's i don't even want to describe it you're gonna channel's gonna get a strike is it yeah i think you're talking about some sort of forcible animal this guy knows what i'm talking about i'll tell you that he's talking about some mate he's talking about mate
Starting point is 00:23:11 is what he's talking about we were talking about really talking about like a video game that that pitted the gods of old and new versus one another earlier and mortal kombat's perfectly set up for that i want like mortal kombat rules rule sets and and and design and everything but the gods so i want yahweh to show up i want um christ for sure uh i'm a buddha doing kind of a kung fu panda drunken kind of thing but i also want the entire greek and roman pantheons i want all those guys to show up ah they're boring i've seen them in games, though. Like, Christ is who I want to see. That's like, he'll be like Ryu. He's on the cover. Yeah, Jesus would be
Starting point is 00:23:49 on the cover, for sure. He'd be the cover. He'd be reviving himself. He could revive himself. That's great. He could shoot nails from his hands and wrists. If you have... He's just got a cross that he's using as a melee weapon. Remember, he had to carry the cross, so he's got it he shows
Starting point is 00:24:05 up with the cross he could headbutt you with this crown of thorns or that's his headbutts you with the crown of thorns and plants the crucifix in the ground and then grabs you throws you up on it and then with his nail powers and crucifies you that's his finisher what if he grabs you and he turns your blood to wine and you're hammered yeah Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, even though it doesn't make sense, he scoops water and splashes it, and it turns to wine as it splashes you, and then he lights a match and you light on fire. Even though it doesn't make sense, it doesn't matter. I mean, if you can turn water into wine, it's not like that was the one trick.
Starting point is 00:24:40 He could turn it into any fluid. Yeah, it's flammable now. That's transmutation. Water into kerosene, whatever you want. You think this guy can't make tequila? He could. Well, but who else would be in it? Kyle, you say the Greek and Roman pantheon, which is like, pick one.
Starting point is 00:24:54 You're not getting- You get Zeus. You get Zeus, you get Thor. You're not getting Ares and Mars, who are just the same guy. You got to pick either the Greeks or the Romans, or maybe a one-off, bounce back and forth. All right, we'll go with Jupiter. We're getting Vupiter we're getting just an ill-defined cloud of smoke well i was gonna ask they want to be part of the game they got to buckle down you know who i want i don't know his name i don't like that all the arms who has ah i think that's what i said yeah
Starting point is 00:25:20 yeah oh i'm sorry no no yeah what's that um can you find us a censored picture of collie because i think that's the lady uh indian god with all the arms and extra i think it's ganesh right it is a lot of god like a thousand gods right like a like ganesh i think is the the elephant lots of arms god you gotta have like kind of i want the titty i learned that from the simpsons yeah you need to have like some superstars though ones that weren't gods but kind of deserve a spot hercules like yeah maybe hercules moses like you know some some people that just like deserve to be there also maybe you know yeah they wouldn't add it wouldn't be chill with like adam and eve adam and eve it's both of them it's like a cool little nifty twins it's like the ice climbers in in
Starting point is 00:26:09 that's good i like that they do snake attacks they populated the whole planet right so what if during the fight they like dropped out some new fighters they have like shield bearers that they just birth out real quick walk ahead absorb a. Just birth one out and they're like little fucking ankle biters you have to deal with during the fight. And if you win, like Eve pulls out an apple and she's like, I don't even care. It takes a bite and goes. I really like that. Yeah, there'd have to be a good mix of like silly celebrations like Adam and Eve and then very serious ones. Like if Moses or Jesus or Allah want to match, I feel like they'd take themselves seriously like Sub-Zero.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Oh, yeah. But Jesus for sure would go down like on a knee and be like, I still forgive you. Oh, that's good. I like that. I like that. Like, that's a good one. Yeah. What would be the I mean, you wouldn't want S-tier ones.
Starting point is 00:27:06 You'd want a pretty balanced game. You wouldn't want... I want Lucifer. I want to play as Lucifer. Lucifer, of course. Oh, yeah, he's got to be there for sure. You're going to have to bump his powers up if he's going to play with the gods.
Starting point is 00:27:15 And so make it better. I don't even know what he looks like. Very handsome. He's the most beautiful of all the angels. Yeah. Really? I also see him as like a big horned monster sometimes. He could join the army. He could join the army to both. Yeah, let's talk about who wrote that book. all the angels yeah really i also see him as like a big horned monster sometimes yeah
Starting point is 00:27:25 yeah let's talk about who wrote that book you know what i mean yeah you don't want to see lucifer uh woody you want to put his shit in a condom and suck it off trust me yeah again yeah that's the kind of thing lucifer would make you do something very desp despicable. God damn, Lucifer's dope. That's a dopey stock photo of Lucifer. And why is he black? I didn't see him as black. I saw him. He looked a little black. He had wavy hair and like an 18-pack.
Starting point is 00:27:55 So that's pretty Lucifer-y. 18-pack, yeah, that sounds right. I hate it when I see a 10-pack. What's his 40-time? Pull up white Lucifer. 4.01. 4.01. He's running a 3.8.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Pull up straight White Lucifer. Let's get that one. Well, that's the TV show. Is that Property Brothers? Who is that? No, that's Lucifer from the TV show. There's a long-running show called Lucifer, and that's him. Okay, well, Lucifer's a lot better looking than that guy.
Starting point is 00:28:30 This show, I put this show on once. It's a bad angle. Couldn't find anything. I put on, like, season five, episode two. I don't even know. And this show, the writing was insane. It was just how... It was so silly.
Starting point is 00:28:42 He was, like, so, so like horny to these girls and also like making like really sick jokes that weren't that sick it was it was i can't remember it so it's not exactly this but he he had said someone had said uh yeah they're this one with your balls and he was like well i wouldn't be the first time someone plays with my balls. Something like that. And that was the vibe. The whole show was very CW.
Starting point is 00:29:13 It felt like I was watching CW, the network. You ever watch those shows? Like Riverdale or something? It has like a supernatural. It has like a flavor to it that's very Wednesday, 8 p.m. 2007. Yeah, very muted. Who cares? I'm in the knife subreddit.
Starting point is 00:29:33 I like knives. It's a stupid. Yeah, I love EDC, but there's also knives and there's also a Leatherman subreddit. And the knife subreddit always rips on Supernatural because they drop their knives constantly. They drop their daggers. They drop their knives. It's like a major plot point that these guys –
Starting point is 00:29:52 they're like, if these guys had a tether on their knives, they'd be unstoppable. They had a little wristband. My Vive remotes controllers have that wrist strap, and it's so useful. Because you can just whip it and catch it in the air. You're absolutely right. They're bringing that wrist strap, and it's so useful. Because you can just whip it and catch it in the air. You're absolutely right. They're bringing that show back, I think,
Starting point is 00:30:09 for another season with the same two guys, Jensen Ackles and the other guys. The guys on The Boys, right? One of them? The guy on The Boys is doing well, but the other guy. I like him now because he's great on The Boys. He's great on The Boys. The other guy did a Walker, Texaser texas ranger show that i don't know if it did well or not but i think he also had some kind of a car accident but anyway
Starting point is 00:30:28 i think i heard you're gonna do another season oh i said uh edc though i meant uh not like the music or the like thingy everyday carry yeah yeah we got one do you like do you have a knife on you you have a knife on you right now he's always bladed up bro sick I have the Leatherman Garage Edition this is like you can't even buy these they sold out in like four minutes and it's dope as fuck the scissors are spring loaded
Starting point is 00:30:56 every tool is on the outside it's basically oh there's no tool on the inside right all the tools are on the outside the bolt cutters the pliers are on the inside I guess but often are on the outside the bolt cutters well the pliers are on the inside i guess but oftentimes with these leathermen you have to open it and then pry the tools out and close it and it kind of sucks i'm off camera too much i'm sorry nice
Starting point is 00:31:14 but with this one outside of the pliers every tool is on the outside so it's just accessible you don't have to like open it to get to them how much is that i like that color well i bought it like during the like three minutes it really did sell out in like i don't know seconds minutes and uh for me i think it was 250 or 300 but they go for like 800 or a thousand on ebay now that's are there any tools on there that like you've forced yourself to use where like you know it like very close in your home is something proper and better for it but you're like well i haven't used the scissors no no so there's always something proper and better somewhere else like the the pliers are really nice because they're spring-loaded um
Starting point is 00:31:56 but they're still not the best pliers i own the screwdriver is nice you know but it's not the best screwdriver i own neither is the knife but it's always the closest so i use this man it must be 15 times a day i use it for something i'm terrified of of knives like i don't like them at all uh it's very canadian yeah like it's the idea of getting stabs just i don't like it's sharp you know i don't want none of it so i never wanted a knife or a multi tool on me then i went to burning man and it was just someone had recommended it was good to get like a multi-tool and i got uh the wave i think it's the wave tool plus or something like the wave yep yep yeah it's great it's their biggest seller yeah and uh the amount of times that people were tripping on acid trying to break through a zip tie with their teeth for their setup in burning man and i walked up i was like hold up i got this
Starting point is 00:32:52 and pulled out my little knife and cut it easily or the time like trying to fashion something like in this because burning matches these weird scenarios so it's like oh i have scissors on me and having little scissors and doing it it's never tab yeah it's like it's like the you could get good scissors right over there like like a minute walk that but this is just when you want it when you're gonna rip it you've now replaced the rip with like a cut but like if you really need to cut like yeah you're not going to use these but i i started to understand i was like oh i get it now even having a knife on you just the amount of times i pulled up the knife and used it you find things to cut oh my two things to wedge i use the
Starting point is 00:33:35 knife too yeah ask any american police officer you'll find i me a whole seven feet away. I have a remote hole poking device. Yeah, no, it's super useful. And sometimes it feels like there's detractors who were like, but those scissors suck. Yeah, they do. I get it. But I just need to cut one zip tie. Your solution is to like what rummage around the kitchen utility drawer for the scissors. They chose to bite it on acid at Burning Man.
Starting point is 00:34:06 That was their solution. It's only to replace biting on acid. I sit here and look down upon you primitives who just try to make it through life with your fingernails and teeth. What the fuck is wrong with you? Get a Leatherman for your pocket. That's true. You realize how valuable scissors and a knife are when you get anything in a
Starting point is 00:34:21 clamshell package and you're like struggling with it. And then every once in a while you just actually tear it open and it's like i could have just seriously cut myself like in a really embarrassing way multiple people every year die usually around christmas from severe cuts to do with clamshell packaging really like someone who's having the fucking best day ever oh you got me the new nerf expo double shot and can you open it for me grandpa and his just old thin elderly blood all over the train so fast you can't even enjoy your toy really because it's stained every time every time you shoot it it's a reminder of your grandpa he died on christmas and so for the rest of your life yeah it's like a poisoned memory where christmas
Starting point is 00:35:10 comes around and you want to be happy but you just can't get that vision of his elderly coolest lego thing either because the little darts shoot hep c this damn hopefully grandpa was on the way anyway i guess next christmas they're like it was on the liver anyway, I guess. Next Christmas, they're like, are we setting the tree up by Grandpa's stain? We're going to set it up right on top of it and just put that into the past. Just one sad square of carpet missing. Dude, I can talk about dead Grandpa's all night long. I have a flashlight that's built to hold on so pocket this is my flashlight it's rechargeable it's so fucking bright see you know what my buddy who loves knives and and he even like he was the guy i saw i was at the store and i'm like should
Starting point is 00:36:01 i get this wave to a plus thing he was like yeah i get that guy he's the one that was explaining just everyday carry to me he hangs out on the subreddits he never brought up supernatural but i'm gonna bring it up to him um he uh also has a flashlight so now i'm thinking knife guys are just guys that want shit from their belts like maybe that's what this is really about just having like things ready because it shouldn't don't you think a flashlight could be in that that other tool you have how did they not figure that out in the leatherman itself well why not though we can't make a good we can't make the sickest flashlight with little wires do you see all these gay lights behind me they could stay on 24 7 remote control we can't make the sickest flashlight with little wires. Do you see all these gay lights behind me?
Starting point is 00:36:45 They could stay on 24-7 remote control. We can't have a fucking little flashlight that's good. Just look at the size of your flashlight. If you had to add that much volume to my Leatherman, that'd be a lot. You could have a bad flashlight, which is way better than no flashlight. That's kind of what Leathermans are in general. The phone's got a pretty good flashlight. Let's fit more bad things in there.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Yeah, you'd have a phone-quality flashlight, I guess. I'm trying to think of more special moves for the gods. I thought you were thinking of more bad things to add to... I was like, what, an inflatable flashlight? One chopstick. One chopstick. You have to have two Leatherman'sstick just a useless thing just a stick it's an eye poking device a little i would love uh something for picking your teeth i don't know how that device could exist i thought that crossed my mind yeah i crossed some sort of toothpick maybe maybe it needs to come with a bunch and you're
Starting point is 00:37:42 real in there yeah do you guys roll around with those floss little devices? I roll with those everywhere. Yeah, the Dentix. Yeah, I always have those on me. Yeah. Look at that. Woody is just the guy who likes to be prepared. You have 19 tools on you.
Starting point is 00:37:58 You have 19 tools. I'm that guy. Sometimes you need that in between your office and living room one time what am i gonna walk 300 yards to the bathroom fuck that i'm set baby one time on uh i was with my parents on vacation like we're in like we're in miami my dad's in this disgusting miami filled with disgusting Miami families running around. They're gross American children. They're boogers and bodies and everything's nasty.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Disgusting community pool. You're painting quite the picture. My dad's like just chilling in the middle there with his hat on and his sunglasses. And then he's like pulls out of his pocket, which is underwater. One of those toothpick things. And starts just like going at it when i puts it back and i know you're swimming i know we're already swimming and breathing in and laughing you have it's in your eyeballs and stuff this is something extra gross about him
Starting point is 00:38:58 pulling out the toothpick though from the pool and using it i don't know why that i don't know why that hits 10 times grosser to me but he came he came back and i was like you're disgusting fucking monster don't even look at me you're nasty i'm not even eating dinner with you tonight it was like in the communal chlorine bath with all those like all those like badly wiped asses people wide walking around fuck that that's disgusting dude you would do how is that disgusting because you're in a fucking shared pool and you're pulling that out and you're oh you think everybody actually showered before they got in i think they got a little bit they got a little bit of shit on their ass and now that's floating that's that's that's coming up and it's ossifying they don't have
Starting point is 00:39:37 poop on their butt anymore taylor not anymore now it's all over your your your become do you keep your mouth perfectly shut so that no bit of water ever touches your mouth? It's true. That's insane. No, but it's true. We get water. We drink the water accidentally. You accidentally get a little bit of pool water in your mouth.
Starting point is 00:39:55 It's not the same as delving into your pocket. I know. I agree with you. But why, though? It's worse. We have to. We have to. A drop versus the toothpick is worse.
Starting point is 00:40:07 We have to properly analyze how gross it is between licking a dick and swallowing come hear me out hear me out to properly analyze taylor how gross it is to use the toothpick to properly analyze that and and condemn the toothpick we actually have to acknowledge that this is the same shit it is the same water but there's something about it soaking into the string and going in between touching your gums it's the pick thing
Starting point is 00:40:38 he was like using the thing he was flipping it around he's not even using the string he's using the pick he was flipping it around the amount of contaminant on that little device is so minuscule He was flipping it around. He's not even using the straight. He's using the back. No, no, no. Both. Both. He was flipping it around. He was doing the whole thing. The amount of contaminant on that little device is so minuscule. Is it worse?
Starting point is 00:40:51 One accidental mouthful. Yeah, that's true. But it's like an accidental mouthful is accidental. Oh, oh. But here's a whole roll of poop. And it's OK because it was an accident. But if you so much as lick the poop it's the grossest thing but this one but this one with on the on the toothpick you're like
Starting point is 00:41:10 you're rubbing your soft gum with it oh you think you're like don't touch it when you do that touching is one thing but mashing it and breaking this little pieces of the skin off and letting it into your gums there's micro there's something gums. There's something a lot more intimate to this. Thank goodness humans are built to self-clean and resist the level of gross that we get exposed to on daily. No, you're so right about the licking poop thing. What? I was right about that? You were right about that because it was a salient example
Starting point is 00:41:45 if someone he made a solid point we got we got a lot of a lot of coprophilia going on ever since that gavin mckinnis clip but yeah if someone takes a big like if someone throws a wad of shit at you kyle and you go because you got shit in your mouth yeah and then you're like that's disgusting and then you retrieve a piece of floss from a pile of shit and start flossing with it. Wait, completely different. How? Because they're both gross,
Starting point is 00:42:13 and the net amount of shit germs is higher from the thrown shit, but it's different because you're making an intended decision in order to introduce shit into your mouth, not on purpose. I was under the impression that the amount of chlorine that's in that water means that the water's mostly sterile that the bacteria is dying or you have like a seven-year-old's understanding of chlorine in pools it's not how it's not like you dip in and you're just totally clean and there's like no shit yeah but
Starting point is 00:42:37 like if the water's out there it's probably good water because it's it's not all the bacteria is like dying or dead to the chlorine it's like this it's it's it's all the bacteria is like dying or dead to the chlorine so it's like this it's it's it's let's just think of it as piss water it's piss water yes there's chlorine and all that but let's let's just say there's a lot of piss in there so there is would you rather would you rather like dunk yourself into a piss pool you jump in and dunk in and come out or dry yourself with a piss soaked towel and then brush your teeth with a piss toothbrush oh you got real with the second half of that yeah i think i might it's like one's got to be rubbed on your body and the other one is like you're you're submerged all i'm
Starting point is 00:43:17 saying is like i'm gonna jump in the piss i'm not that big of a nancy if your dad pulled that toothpick out and i was sitting in the pool next to him, I'd be like, can I use that when you're done? I got a little, I'd take his used toothpick. I'd rinse it in the pool. I do this, look at a couple of times, get my shit out,
Starting point is 00:43:32 flick it twice and hand it back to him. And you'd look at me and you'd look at me and you'd be like, now that's a cleanse homo. Four or five weeks ago, I was talking about how gross I was because i found a device like the one i pulled out the little flosser thing on the floor and i needed it and i was like yes okay perfect and i used it and kyle's like man it's nothing i'd have been right there with you yeah so this is i got one better than that every i lose those things like crazy i'll be on the
Starting point is 00:44:01 couch i'm like that's what you say i'll start digging in the couch cushions because looking for that telltale poke at the end of your finger i found one there it is i have something what's your level of confidence that you were the person who used it a hundred percent okay okay yeah i have something gross to admit i there have been times i've desperately needed a toothpick so i've I've bit off like a strong fingernail and used it. That's a good move. That's industrious. I like that. No, no.
Starting point is 00:44:31 I've done that too. I can floss it through my teeth and out the other side with my tongue. Like just put a little probe in there that goes in one side and out the other and cleans it. Invisalign, they wanted it. They wanted that perfect space you could pass a fingernail through. how are you with the invisalign are you finished i'm not in my last my last trays like uh my last four or something so would you recommend it to a friend i don't know it depends it depends depends on their teeth it actually first depends on the financial situation it's an expensive thing to do
Starting point is 00:45:05 about five grand yeah five yeah it was like seven grand for me canadian so yeah five grand bigger teeth that's right okay so about five grand us uh-huh yeah so yeah it depends it's a lot dude five grand straight teeth are worth a lot now oh yeah my teeth are straight bro if you're coming from almost straight teeth then the incremental improvement isn't that big a deal but if you're like i was self-conscious about one tooth in particular and like there are people in my universe who i'm like man five grand would change your life like you would yeah you'd be in a different class socially you'd be in a different class in the dating world this person's unmarried like I don't know I'm just
Starting point is 00:45:51 like that it's totally what you should be spending yeah yeah like I think my results I was content with the results mm-hmm very very happy with the results not blown away but but by me saying isn't it interesting me saying i'm not blown away a lot of people would take that as a negative they're like ah yeah but it wasn't blown away but i'm trying to be really accurate here i'm very happy with the results but i'm not like blown where were your your teeth crooked or were there spaces i i i wanted my teeth here they're a bit wider now, like outwards. They kind of were tight in.
Starting point is 00:46:27 It was a little smaller box. It's like your front two were ahead, and then they just almost deviated instead of you. It was the sides were squished in, so it kind of spread them outwards. It just angled them out. And I have two teeth that were pulled. It kept the space there. It made perfect spaces should i want to get replacement teeth or if i wanted to get steve harvey chunky white veneers that's how it all
Starting point is 00:46:52 started so i want that i want you to have to sell those teeth don't do that he's gonna have to sell those fucking fence posts yeah i'm buying he said he spent two hundred thousand dollars on prostitutes 250 right yeah but i think we realized that was like he wasn't he didn't fuck a quarter He said he fucked... I'm buying incisors. He spent $200,000 on prostitutes? $250,000, right? Yeah, but I think we realized that was... He didn't fuck a quarter million dollars worth of prostitutes. He was fucking a prostitute. And then he'd be like, here's a Chanel bag and let's go to a vacation. And so it was like, really?
Starting point is 00:47:21 You just paid $14,000 for one whore and so like it's not like you're out there jim norton style who's fucking fucked hundreds of prostitutes it's like like prostitutes are affordable like pretty and like you know not awkward to deal with i don't see what the problem is to you could you could it's way cheaper to have a hooker addiction than it is to have a cocaine addiction. Maybe it was on a sugar baby website. Maybe he was fighting sugar babies. Yeah, sugar babies is what he was doing. It sounds like sugar babies if he's taking them on vacation.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Taylor, you think you pay more if you're less attractive? That's what I thought you were writing. I think that what Kyle was saying saying with like oh well they're you know professional prostitutes like they'll be pleasant and whatnot but i can't imagine that the human aspect of being a prostitute like if i'm a hooker and kyle offers to pay me 200 dollars to sleep with him i and i get an offer from Boogie for $300 at the same time. I'm probably going to take a hit to my bottom line and be like, I don't want to sleep with that big, disgusting ogre.
Starting point is 00:48:35 And I have to get an upper body workout with military press to lift his fat rolls. Because I'm going to take you to dinner. So you got to add a value there. Kyle's going to wine and dine me, man. And I'm going to get at least $100 worth of food. I a value there. I was going to wine and dine me, man. And so I'm going to get at least $100 worth. I like the way he throws the towel to me afterwards. It's sweet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:50 I have the towel ready too. And always dark towels. He uses the towel to dry off after his next shower. He's like, it's not even gross. I just came everywhere. It just makes the towel a little. It makes the towel extra nice. Yeah. Like if you're a prostitute,
Starting point is 00:49:06 100%, unless you're really hard up for money, which prostitutes tend to be. That's why they're in the sex industry. But yeah, that's a way worse evening to have to go fuck boogie. Imagine you're a prostitute, or a sugar baby or whatever. Here's what I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Would you rather boogie pays you $1,000 for a couple hours of sex and maybe a bubble bath, or he pays you two or three grand, but then you have to go on a 10-day vacation to somewhere nice, but you're with him the whole time? Do I have to fucking take a bath with him? You're going to be fucking him the whole vacation. I'm taking the optimal i'm taking the optimal uh money scenario here whatever is giving me the most money and uh if i have a lot of time there with him i'm definitely going to do i'm gonna have i'm i'm i probably have a ton
Starting point is 00:49:58 of evasive maneuvers next level manipulative gas lighting evasive maneuvers which i i take plan b just things just things that i could do to dip on him uh i would make myself puke at one point he seems like a very nice guy i would lean into that i would definitely puke in front of him maybe at the beginning so i could always be like uh i'd make a nice guy thing to wear off when he's not getting fucked though no no i think he's still fucking still fucking but if you think we're fucking all night like 15 comes before 8 a.m yeah right no no i bet no but i'm just saying yeah like it's once a day fine you're like easy work i'm taking the big money and and the trip and i'm making all my stupid ass i'm making i'm taking all my stupid ass friends look bad yeah yeah pictures there by myself i think i want the trip i don't but wait is this more money is the trip more money
Starting point is 00:50:51 also just yeah but the idea of going on the trip with him it would be awful but having you're not traveling with him on the air that's straight like kyle you have to think if you were kyla it's worse you have to think you're not you yeah if they saw me they'd be like oh look they're bros or whatever like maybe he's his male nurse but if they see this little like japanese 19 year old girl in a bikini or whatever like is that what your female version is a little japanese girl yeah i guess that's what you want that's what you have to be if you want to get boogies yeah yeah all right i think i would do i would i would put value in the trip i'm assuming if i'm a sugar baby that i'm not like swimming in extra cash that i that this is
Starting point is 00:51:36 an experience i can't easily provide for myself is where my mindset is and it's like shit you want to go to cancun and fuck there no that's the job this is the job i got pissed on in dubai this is gonna be fine yeah this is gonna be fine me and my friends we got stranded in dubai we got pissed on we got shat on buckets of jizz dumped on top of our heads then we got stranded at the airport because they took our passports we were stuck we literally thought we were going to die well you're sure we made 10k fine but i'd much rather make 3k and fuck this dude and talk about xbox and magic the gathering and get a tan actually yeah he would play magic with me after we had really weird why are you into that though that that part of it's worse to me no but that's if you're taylor you have to think like you're taylor and then leave he's too fat in order to do any sort of
Starting point is 00:52:31 like think about it he takes me on a vacation to cancun he's too fat to do like more than 30 minutes of activity a day and so i've got i've got 10 hours of no there's a professional fighter he's gonna split that ass in half, baby. Yes. You give him the chance. He's going to lay back like Jabba the Hutt, and you're getting on top. You're going to be working that. How about this, Kyle?
Starting point is 00:52:52 A little thought experiment. You're in a bath with Boogie2988, and you drop your toothpick. Yeah. Do you pick that back up and put it in your mouth? I would just grab one of those. You're already in the bath with him. The things he's putting in his mouth that weekend, that toothpick is not the problem.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Yeah. I mean, if I'm already in the bath with the man, then who cares? Grab that thing out of there and go to work. That was right. It's probably his pubic hair in my teeth that I'm getting out, right? No, I would take Boogie. No offense to you guys.
Starting point is 00:53:26 I would take the toothpick falling in Boogie's bathtub over any of yours because I know if that happens, I pull it out and I look at him. I'd be like, don't tell anyone about this. And I believe him when he'd be like, I won't tell anyone. Whereas you guys, I'd come on the show and would he be like, no, taste anything that tastes like my bathwater toothpick? You're right. i would tell i'd be like no bro you're like a community post it didn't even happen fucking mega friend
Starting point is 00:53:57 but boogie would keep that secret he'd be like i'm not gonna tell anyone about that i don't know he'd make a documentary about it yeah yeah he's a secret keeper he's see i i feel like i feel like uh it might it seems like uh there's a lot of gotcha youtuber maneuvers going on here and it's like an understanding of being in on a joke beyond understanding like i think there's a lot of uh i i don't believe that's like i always look at myself as not a gotcha youtuber when i've gone and filmed with people stuff like that i always tell them i say just so you know i'm not gonna film something here or you're gonna say something or else and then that's gonna be something that i'll put out there for a video sake or something like that i never liked youtubers that move like that and uh i don't believe he is i think a lot of this stuff that's
Starting point is 00:54:50 happening and going out there i think a lot of it is this is a youtuber game being played and this guy's just a gamer and he's kind of using the card that he's dealt here you know and he's kind of what's that he made the doc though right like it's in with his cooperation yeah yeah it's not like one of those down the rabbit holes where he's just he would prefer if it didn't get made yeah he's in control he paid to have it produced i would imagine did you guys hear that keemstar rant to him on twitter the other day no what happened with it's like to be honest i don't know exactly what happened i can't keep up necessarily but it's their uh their podcast um uh i'm not exactly sure what it is but they had this uh it was this this sound clip of of keemstar just going off on boogie so hard um what was the gist of it yeah i'm trying
Starting point is 00:55:47 to pull it up it's just keem ripping into it you continue i'm gonna pull it up because i gotta find it because it's actually yeah i don't know well whenever people say that i'm always like oh shit i don't know if it's worth listening to no if it's funny we'll listen to it i didn't know they had beef yeah how could you have a show together i think let's even do it team star and boogie have a show together yeah i believe so oh that'll end well yeah that's dude it's what everyone was asking for for the keem star and boogie 2988 extravagant show oh no what are they gonna talk prostitutes it's uh boogie
Starting point is 00:56:34 uh dark side not dark side phil um it's three wings my god i'm so fun wings is on it boogie wings and dark side phil and boogie wings tommy c boogie wings tommy c who's tommy c exactly okay my bad no it's not a little coming from me i'm i'm goofing around it was uh he did a i think he did a podcast with uh i know this because i i had like a spit with him on Twitter leading up to the boxing. But he had... I looked him up.
Starting point is 00:57:09 He was on... Yeah, Keem's old podcast. Yeah. The one he did with... Do you see this? The Boogie tweet. It's a tweet from... I'm just trying to find it, but... Shit, I hope you guys like it now oh you know what i'm talking about
Starting point is 00:57:28 okay cool he knows what you're talking about he's looking for it zach champion of the night cool guy thank you zach thank you zach suck his dick suck his dick we don't know how it happens but he's hot load just keeps keeps firing loads into women he can't be stopped making his own baseball team over there it's so crazy to do drama as a as a youtube job being into the youtube drama because you get you're so into it and you're doing all these things it's like oh what's the next andrew tate video gonna be or whatever and it's all about that and then
Starting point is 00:58:09 like two wars happen and now it's like like so weird to be like yeah and then this guy he said this word on twitter so now everyone's gonna cancel and it's like yeah yeah get out of the way we're trying to watch all this combat footage we got lots of drama this 20 year old youtuber was caught sexting a 19 year old girl she's still a child actually speaking of that you guys uh it's so funny i feel like you guys don't ever get into the youtube drama stuff at all but for some reason it's been the most disgusting guilty pleasure of mine since it's like 2015 but dream uh you guys know dream really popular for the rockets who does minecraft right
Starting point is 00:58:56 yeah he taylor minecraft youtube yeah and he had uh he pulled he had some fight because someone said he was a pedophile or something. I don't want to say it because it's all like, you know, I don't know. Well, then come up with a euphemism. Jesus. Is he a dead man? Is he dead like you're like you know he's uh he's uh immediately came like a child raper allegedly he allegedly sent a video of him moaning to an underage girl, allegedly. That's what the whole thing was.
Starting point is 00:59:47 How old is he and how old was she? She was, I think, allegedly, if I remember correctly, he was 23 and she was 16 or something. But he recorded this guy. He recorded this dude in the car, some dude who's the voice of Gumball. I don't know what that means at all. I've been too deep in this shit, guys. You got to get me the fuck out of here. This video here is he posted it, and it's just this guy,
Starting point is 01:00:13 well, some kid in the front seat, like, murking the Uber driver and murking Dream, just being like, yeah, you're a bitch. I'm going to fucking slap you up. Yeah, I slapped you up in front of the hose. I'll slap you up again. And it's really bizarre. And Dream posted that that he was like uh look at this kid he's not even a cool dude look how he's being and people were like yeah but you sent videos of you moaning
Starting point is 01:00:35 to women and god damn it Zach do you have that Keemstar clip yet dude it's so hard to explain a story to someone when we have no idea who any of the characters are and we're like, uh-huh. Dream, he was the guy. I remember seeing him on Twitter when he did a face reveal and that was... Fuck you and your stupid fucking head.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Your fucking retarded fucking head. I talked to you before you went on. In my other group chat, people were like, oh, Boogie's calling into Rich. I fucking called you. We spoke. I said, don't give Rich the tea. Your exact words to me were, oh, I'm just going to go on there and tell him I'm busy, right? So you call into Rich.
Starting point is 01:01:16 You tell him I'm busy. He starts milking you. You start answering every fucking question because you're an attention fucking freak. And then you have a face-off with Muta on Rich's stream. The face-off between you and Muta should be on your podcast. That's monetized that you make money on. Fuck you and your stupid fucking head. This is not a mistake. This is not an accident, you fucking retard. you did this on purpose i talked to you before you went in i fucking hate you fuck you all the time and effort into this fucking show
Starting point is 01:01:51 to help you guys out and you don't you can't do the simplest task i fucking hate you i hate you i hate you retard yeah obviously pause it for a second pause it i was was gonna go there to promote the show i just want to say something real fast um why is he so mad i see it i always see he's always posting i see his life like he's you know he's got he's got his he's got his young girlfriend he's got his fucking his his land he's got a whole bunch of land he's got this house got this cool bar in his basement he's got like foozy tube comes over and they ride atvs and stuff you know he he's got this whole thing bro okay i don't know what it's about the stupid fucking podcast why are you so mad like he honestly sounded like he was in rage tears there and it's like over it doesn't even matter
Starting point is 01:02:44 i just know it doesn't even matter and it's it's probably something that could bring him a bunch of extra money potentially but you're good when are you gonna be good like when are you just gonna be like chilling because this is not a chill vibe he's really mad here and it's just so funny because the juxtaposition from his attitude of how fucking mad he is and then boogie is so boogie and real real quick boogie will be alpha in this before you can't talk to me like that you fucking peewee that's what i'm expecting because he told us how he handled that guy at the gas station so here's his chance to live up to it is that so does keemstar own their show or something and he is mad they didn't get i believe i believe he yeah i think
Starting point is 01:03:25 he owns uh he he started a a podcast and he gave them money up front that they'll pay back essentially i'm not sure i don't know allegedly i don't know what the this is a bit of an employer employee quasi you know working for relations yeah but like maybe partnership who knows it could be a partnership well ultimately, very unprofessional. Partner A seems to have a lot of authority. He does seem to be in full authority in this situation. It's very funny.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Boogie's just... I didn't know Muda was going to come in there and pull his shit. I should have left when Muda showed up and said, save it for the show. But you're right right i respect your decision let me know if you need any of the passwords or anything like that i'll be glad to hand them over and uh let me have something that response that is that is an older actually wise man's response
Starting point is 01:04:30 to what the energy he got from keen if you really wanted to piss that person off that's exactly what you do yeah you've completely disarmed everything you've completely and you've been like i'm sorry and now it's like there's not now he's like now he's like what a fucking bitch pussy like whatever it is he's doing like that if you really want to get into that person's skin and this is just talking about the whole boogie thing we were talking about before this is uh this guy is calculated this guy's a calculated person. What are the words?
Starting point is 01:05:07 I swear. Maybe he's not making the right calculations, but he's a calculated person. Okay. So, man, Boogie is... Every time I see what's going on with this guy, it's just weirder and weirder. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:22 I think it's a career resurgence isn't it it might be i don't know how his channel is doing with views because that big documentary wasn't on his channel it blows my mind every time i see him and i'm like that guy's like two years younger than woody like really just wildly different paths in life. Like, just so, so different is the path. But his everyday carry is a gun. Yeah, his everyday carry is fucking sweet treats and, you know, caramel corn, all sorts of things. Zebra cakes. Zebra cakes.
Starting point is 01:05:58 I bet he's big on zebra cakes. And fast food. Based on his documentary, he got fast food six times in a 55 minute video like that's like it was it was a lot of fast food he's eating what was he eating i didn't taco bell taco bell so he's buying fucking quesadillas from taco bell spending nine dollars when do you think that documentary came out this november well a month ago oh yeah it wouldn't be 10 days 10 days i feel like that oh no like three weeks ago should have like millions of views if it's got over a million
Starting point is 01:06:31 because i'm just looking at his social blade and 10 days ago he lost a million subs what happened maybe it's a youtube game he lost a million came tweeted that sound clip am i right no no no i'm sorry i'm foolish he lost a million video views so he? No, I'm sorry. I'm foolish. He lost a million video views. He probably just took down a video or something. He took down a video. Well, we wish him well here. As always,
Starting point is 01:06:56 friend of the show. Friend of the show. You don't want to be an enemy of the show. This is how we're talking about a friend. That's true. If you're an enemy of the show this is how you're talking about a friend if you're an enemy of the show we don't talk about you at all right like just it's fucking like yeah your name is dust but uh i don't know i the whole thing is bizarre to me i like seeing boogie in things and doing things i like seeing him do wacky things that um the best part of that sound clip wasn't keem screaming it It was Boogie being fucking weird.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Yeah, I will say that. You didn't want to say beta? You were afraid that that would be too far? Yeah. Well, Kyle doesn't want to appropriate the language of Andrew Tate and the Red Pill community because those guys are always on the ball. Super smart. I guess it's more like Charlie than anything.
Starting point is 01:07:48 God damn, he's fallen another level. That was a pouty grown man. He's a grown-ass man. He's a grown-ass man. How has he fallen so far? He was on the streets with a pistol shooting over people's heads a couple years ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:01 You know? Imagine the path that his life of manhood that was absolutely his peak of masculinity is when he fired into that school zone brazenly i like when he stared that guy down at the guy imagine the difference like the fork his life could have taken if he would have straight up killed frank hassell on his lawn like if he would if frank castle was like do it shoot and he shoots frank castle in the head what is he he's he's probably he's probably in jail but i bet he could have made a case he goes like he was being harassed and i was defending yeah he's like spinning it on his index and slipping it back into his giant sweat and he stands Let that be a lesson. And he stands over the camera. Let that be a lesson to all
Starting point is 01:08:46 of you. Frank Castle's here. I'll follow you up out here six feet. You can hear Frank Castle gurgling on his fucking GoPro and then it all ends when he walks over, when he barrels over waddles and then just boom.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Do you think that his channel would be more popular now if you would have killed frank asshole in front yard what if he'd become like and he got off for it and he became like an avenger for for online assholes like he's the guy who shows up not an avenger he becomes fat man right with the mask and the cape and the's it. His outfit is a CPAP machine and a bunch of insulin shots. A bandolier of insulin
Starting point is 01:09:34 needles. Yeah, that's what he did. He's got a no warning shots patch. He's definitely got the fetus. That's alpha, Boogie, but we're never getting back to that. I was so freaked out that time he started bleeding on the show what he told him what happened that was after his like dental work so at least it made sense he's like i just got a bunch of they took a you know a band
Starting point is 01:09:59 of mexicans put a bunch of fence posts in my mouth earlier today and then he was just like bleeding down the cracks of his teeth a lot. I stand alone on this teeth thing. I thought they looked pretty good. Now, I'll admit, they don't look natural. They're not Hollywood human, right? I don't mean to say that they're great, but he had 17 or 18 teeth before he had them done,
Starting point is 01:10:20 and to me, the upgrade was dramatic. He was just a much better looking person, and you guys keep seeing what he didn't do which i guess is fair but i'm looking at what he did do and the improvement was significant the guy painted his house and and he you know it looks like shit yeah it's better than raw wood it's not rotting anymore and the and the and the the wildlife has left but still it's a bad coat of paint. I'm going to judge it every time I drive by. He's bleeding from the mouth.
Starting point is 01:10:51 It's such a look. Last time I saw him was. The whole veneer look is a look that's in itself something that's easily recognizable now because it's so common. I remember I watched the Boba Fett show, and my first thing that bothered me about it is boba fett the actor just has these veneers that are very clearly veneers and he's fat and old and it's that white that's super white teeth and it just uh it bothered me it's a look it's a look
Starting point is 01:11:17 it's a very specific i see it and i want to say both of the presidential candidates have veneers does that sound right to you oh tons of politicians like i yeah so many like ex-professional athletes after they've retired pretty much all of them have veneers maybe i'm biased because i'm an nhl you come from the hockey world yeah everyone who plays sports you know they get they start buying their permanent teeth afterwards you know athletes they get down to like six teeth in their career and then they buy new ones how all athletes are. There's tennis players who don't understand what you're saying at all. Yeah, you'd have to be horrible at tennis to lose a tooth.
Starting point is 01:11:52 You don't make it to the pros losing teeth. Or an asshole. Really? Just like a bad doubles partner. Oh, that guy does suck. That's an embarrassing way to lose teeth. You've got to lie. I got into hockey briefly.
Starting point is 01:12:07 I saw your people finally got into that tunnel network underneath the hospital over there. And I saw a video of it today. I was a little underwhelmed, I'm going to say, if you could get them to get some more footage. But it is more than I thought it was going to be because at first it looked like nothing, but there definitely was like a little command tunnel down there.
Starting point is 01:12:29 You said your people, now I have to go take the Mazzouza off my front door. Your good luck charm, you can't have it anymore? I'd be putting lamb's blood on that thing every night. It's so funny, the idea, because the idea of it's it's so funny the idea because the idea of it's like oh your people um referring to israel is is so interesting because for so many reasons because it's not like it's like my people israel there's jews there's people that aren't jews or uh do i automatically agree with what they do
Starting point is 01:13:01 because i'm jewish or you know is it it's just like it's such a funny thing it's such a weird place we don't have a country like that on this fucking planet we're like if you're jewish you're allowed in everything's equal everything everyone's cool everyone's come you could come here not too many of you guys not not all of you guys some come in slowly but if you're jewish if you're jewish 100 you're Jewish, 100%, you're allowed. You're allowed. But everything's fair. It's not like Jewish people are treated differently.
Starting point is 01:13:29 You just get to go there and then live there. You get free vacation. And then some people choose to take someone else's home or whatever. Right, but we treat them fairly just as homeless i would say the other thing that i would but i do want to say my people in the sense that like i hate the whole like i feel like it's the most anti-human thing to be so religious that your goal is to be a martyr and even like for for a certain cause i I would like to imagine that no matter what I've been through or grown up through, that if I had to kidnap a baby and with the hopes that I die and the baby dies,
Starting point is 01:14:13 cause then I go to the religious belief attached to it, that whole connection is like insane to me. I don't back that at all. You're talking about Muslims with that, right? Just jihad, the jihad don't back you're talking about muslims with that right just jihad the jihadist belief where you're an extremist and there's extremists in all types of people but hamas is like uh i feel like they abuse the palestinian people they indoctrinate children and uh yeah that video the videos and stuff that I've seen of them going in there and showing guns and being like, look what we found in the hospital.
Starting point is 01:14:47 These guns. Yeah. In the MRI. There are things that are underwhelming. And I'm just like, if you're going to go do it and you're just going to go and do your shit, don't put out these things. Don't put out things like this. Even if you did find guns there like that's not that's not gonna cut it to be really really good or don't do it at all don't don't don't put
Starting point is 01:15:11 messaging out there that's not good messaging and it's not helping your yeah it's not helping you because they keep they showed that cgi of the command center down there and then when they actually get down there it's like, there's a tunnel network here. I've seen a lot of toilets. I'm seeing a lot of toilets. I'm seeing a lot of like, here's a room. He's like, here's a room where... And then he just starts making shit up. In this room, they could possibly be,
Starting point is 01:15:38 you know, maybe the child rape room. Or maybe this is where they vivisect the nuns. The calendar is a big deal fors. I would imagine in this room they cook children and devour them into their Muslim mouth. What's crazy though is that room does exist though. But that room does exist. They will find it.
Starting point is 01:15:56 It's not there but it's under another hospital. The Israeli lies has Israel losing me. I'm sure they're concerned. But the calendar destruction the the israeli lies has israel losing me i'm sure they're concerned but like the uh the calendar on the wall that thing has gotten a lot of press and attention from me the guy is on there he says look this is a list of the people that are scheduled to like do their guard duties and uh he acted like it was a list of terrorists. It was a calendar. Every word on there was one of the days of the week, and everything else was a number.
Starting point is 01:16:28 It was nothing but a calendar, as simple and common as it could be. It wasn't a schedule. It wasn't anything. So the fact that he's telling me that lie, but wait, it's very frustrating for me because if I held up this thing and said, this says I'm going to kill people and you can read it yourself and it doesn't, that's a kind of lie that I'm not okay with. Wait, so they paraglided and they shot all these people. They took babies hostages.
Starting point is 01:16:55 And you're like, yeah, but that's just the calendars. I'm going to go with these guys. It's the Israeli lying. Now, I'm not for Hamas. No, I'm messing around. I'm oversimplifying for the sake i saw israel put out footage of the tunnel networks right and this is like from israel on their twitter the tunnel network was i don't know what country it was sweden switzerland
Starting point is 01:17:14 something like that it was from world war ii in their defenses against the germans it had nothing to do with israel yet they presented it as if it was the hamas tunnel network because it was actually kind of impressive and scary to look at cool tunnel it's a cool tunnel but fuck you for lying to me oh my god why is it you bold face lie to me maybe these easily disprovable lies every fucking day every fucking day you lied i i do that with with everything, though. Yeah, I do. Since I got the vaccine and got boosted, and I just watched people fight over issues. What's that?
Starting point is 01:17:58 You didn't get reboosted? I got reboosted like I got needles, bro. Someone owes me money money you boosted up you trust in the science over there i do that well that was the problem this is the problem well this is the thing i do trust science now you're right i do trust i do trust uh get that out of there i do trust you know education, you know, and because these things came into question around that time. But, you know, me getting vaccinated, stuff like that. And then, you know, something like a curfew happens where I'm living or I have a vaccine passport. Things did get to a point where
Starting point is 01:18:37 I'm like, OK, it's weird now. And throughout constantly like having discussions with people, some of my closest friends who are like bro i can't believe you got fucking vaccinated are you fucking stupid if you fucking you're gonna die in your boxing match now bro because you're vaccinated like there's like like i have a conversation with like friends of mine about that stuff so i constantly got one side of the argument and i would go and look back and this is something oh and then he would show me how this was said here this is a lie and I would be like that's a lie and we go back and forth I realized you could do that by yourself and so you know things from uh uh anything that is released
Starting point is 01:19:17 has to be corroborated with other people if Israel says something no shot I believe it however if the U.S. or like BBC is sharing the same information then I do Hamas I don't obviously do not believe a fucking thing Hamas says at all but I do I I think a lot of people hold Israel to a different level because it's an actual country whereas uh Hamas is you know they're the governing body of Gaza but it's it's different we don't hold them to the same regard and that mismatch leads to like someone like yourself getting really mad when Israel is lying and it's like dude they're both lying and whenever anyone says something you have to go and check it like for example they we're operating that uh 10 000 people are dead i don't i think a hundred people dead is a tragedy 10 people dead
Starting point is 01:20:12 one person it's obviously about the point but the number always comes up and that number comes from hamas like the health minister of gaza so we we count the bodies it took a long time to get the bodies counted and what i was saying it took a long time no i'm just saying the numbers the numbers that get released are they come from one person once one source numbers seem a little high i do that numbers they could be higher in. They could be higher. In fact, they could be higher. And I really think with the amount of bombing that's going on there,
Starting point is 01:20:51 it should be higher. Israel claimed... I'm not saying it should be higher. I think it should be higher. You would expect the number to be higher. On October 7th, 40 babies were decapitated. I want pacifiers. No, no, no. That was not... Israel did not claim that babies were decapitated. I want pacifiers. No, no, no. That was not. That was not. Israel did not claim that babies were decapitated. One source had said that there was a decapitated
Starting point is 01:21:12 baby and there was separately a soldier who was decapitated. A third news source took that, mixed it into one, and people ran with it on twitter and it got out of hand there was never a decapitated baby there was one baby found in the oven apparently the 200 foreign journalists watched all this footage that israel did not want to release to public for the dignity of the victims or whatever but they invited 200 foreign journalists to come in and they had said that there was a baby in an oven but there was no decapitated baby but obviously i thought it was the idf that said the initial decapitated baby thing and then the idf gave that info to media apparatuses who then said like this is true i went i went looking for
Starting point is 01:21:59 that because i was like where did that start from i saw one article from one news source in israel that said that there was a decapitated on wednesday a spokesman for israel prime minister benjamin mitten yahoo told cnn that babies and toddlers were found with their heads decapitated in southern israel after the hamas attack so i have it here that it was the spokesman for benjamin mitten yahoo who said it yeah and then the biden i think biden repeated it and then later when asked about it they were like well we didn't we haven't seen anything no biden said i remember biden saying something this made it even worse biden said he did see it
Starting point is 01:22:35 something like that he was like yeah i saw it or i saw a decapitated baby i remember exactly and it was his muttering mumbling nonsense that doesn't allow you to get like he sort of says the sentence three times, basically the same sentence at like moving the parts around. So you can't really tell exactly what he means. He's like the things I saw. The things I saw. I have a little more. The IDF claimed that they had relative confidence that the 40 decapitated babies was true. To say that this had nothing to do with
Starting point is 01:23:08 Israel's official communications is off target. Like you said, I think I'm applying a higher standard to Israel than I am Hamas. Maybe that's unfair. I don't think it's unfair. We're democratically elected. They're supposed to be the good guys.
Starting point is 01:23:23 They have an air force. They have an air force yeah they have an air force and they're just bold face lying to us every fucking day i saw an israeli spokesman with my own eyes recently like this week claimed that they haven't killed a single minor in gaza not one child has said that no no no they said minors there's no resources in the ground he was an official spokesman for Israel on like a major I don't know maybe it was C-SPAN or something and he said they didn't kill a single minor yes they wouldn't admit to killing a single person who wasn't like a Hamas warrior not one and we're like
Starting point is 01:24:00 did you bomb the refugee but they do say no they didn't bomb a refugee camp okay that that city that city that part of the city is literally called it's the name that was a refugee camp that's what used to be a refugee camp it's actually a city now but it has the name refugee camp in it but it wasn't a functioning like if you look there you're going to see building structures that's a place okay that's an actual location however it doesn't change it doesn't change the things like i i like i i so it was the biggest Palestinians were sort of concentrated there are people there whatever it is whatever it is there's people there's gonna be people people are getting bombed people like and it's fucked up and it's fucked up. And I know that like even after 9-11, how long it took to count and identify bodies happened in, you know, there are unidentified people to this day at 9-11, 3000, however many. and 12 page document with uh 6 000 uh dead uh palestinians with their unique identification
Starting point is 01:25:07 number their gender their first and last name that's an incredible that's incredible that's incredible to be able to account for all of those bodies in an active war zone under the rubble without the manpower in such a short period of time the number could be higher it could be higher i don't deny that also having said that though there isn't a single hamas death not one hamas terrorist literally except for like 10 10 dudes that israel knows by name none of those people or those bodies are hamas they're only people. But if you watch October 7th and I watched a lot of those videos, those people come in and they look like some of them look like an Uber driver. They look like a random dude. They're not wearing a green bandana with a balaclava and
Starting point is 01:25:56 military fatigues, but they're going in there and they have a grenade in their hand and they're just a guy. So when that person dies, that's not a Hamas soldier. Well, to some people, it is. But to a lot of people, that's just a guy. So the numbers, they could be way higher. But once again, I hold off until something's corroborated, and then I'll operate on that. And right now, it's inconclusive. And if you told me it was more than 10,000, like I would believe that. Yeah. But everyone knew that. Everyone there knew that.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Like Hamas knew that when they attacked, they knew that Israel could do that. I think it's the problem is this is the mistake that's happening. It's because, you know, you said you hold it to a higher standard. I do, too. I do hold it to a higher standard. I don't, you know agree with the politics in israel even though they're my people like i i i just i don't you know i i have a this i dislike that bin laden became cool again on tiktok i don't like the whole martyr aspect i
Starting point is 01:26:58 don't support that i don't like when people you know writings don't laugh don't like when people, you know, writings don't love, don't chuckle when people, when people dis this, like, uh, the USA or this Canada, you know, like I like these places. I'm, I'm happy that I'm from here. And, um, so it comes from that place. These, I don't agree with everything Israel does. It's not automatically my people. I obviously don't want this shit happening or existing but they knew when they did that that this could happen and because they hold israel to a higher standard too
Starting point is 01:27:31 but that's when they attack that yeah but that's what we're all we're all making this mistake is we're holding them we're holding them to a higher standard and uh it seems like they're not holding themselves to a higher standard they They are now in terrorist mode also. So you're watching. I think they're in war winning mode. There's a lot of war winning mode. Yeah. And it's a thin line.
Starting point is 01:27:53 It is. It actually is. Because that's terrorism is also how you win a war. So like they're just they're just having a conversation in terrorism now and holding them to a higher standard is is just useless thing to do right now when people were like cease fire right into your senator tell them to cease fire yeah i would i want them to stop bombing i don't like the like how you know people are hating jews because it's israel that you know but they're not going to do that until they have all the hostages and the reason the first time something like this happened
Starting point is 01:28:25 hamas took one hostage one idf soldier and israel traded over a thousand prisoners of war to get him back people that israel said was responsible for over 550 deaths they traded it for that one soldier so hamas did it again probably thought they would get a lot of hostages traded a lot of prisoners they asked for 10 000 at first and it looks like israel's like it looks like israel's like no dude we're playing we're playing this game now we're playing the same game that you do let me jump in but we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna fucking uh bomb like crazy and i'm not saying that's the right thing but everyone should be like hamas release release the hostages, release every single hostage, and then let's have the ceasefire. The support would be overwhelming if Hamas wasn't holding hostages.
Starting point is 01:29:12 Why are they holding hostages? You don't need them. There's no leverage. They're still bombing you like crazy. And I wish they'd stop just if you release the hostage. But there's some sort of. Okay, Harley, you're filibustering at this point. You've been going for so long.
Starting point is 01:29:26 Kyle said they're in war winning mode, which is interesting. We haven't fought a war with that attitude in a long time. Since Iraq, we've been trying to win over hearts and minds in the 90s. Iraq won. We haven't really won wars that way.
Starting point is 01:29:42 We did win in World War II, America single-handedly, by doing it the way that Israel's doing it now. Back to back, just like UGA. And maybe Kyle's right. Maybe that's how you win wars, and this hearts and minds thing doesn't do it. We'll stop when they're dead or they surrender. That's when we stop.
Starting point is 01:30:00 That's how you win a war. But the other side of it, you know, every time you kill a kid you create four more terrorists true you just right when you stop i say i don't know no no i'm not saying and i never said but i never said israel should do this i never said i was just saying it's something that can happen and you know well and it is happening there like the reason the world is like a lot of people in the world are like this is fucked up is because like the collective punishment going on of like well hamas knew that if they did this we would we had the capacity to go scorched earth on innocent people who live
Starting point is 01:30:35 there and so now it's like okay well that's fucked like lots of these people the majority had nothing to do with this and they're still getting displaced and bombed and fucked with yeah people but people people at the viewers people like the south of the civil war people laugh and laugh about how atlanta burned and they won the war and it was over yeah but we agree the yankees were pretty badass, yeah. Yes, they were. But picking aside here, like if there was, I guess the cause of October 7th would be to bring attention to the mismatch of what's going, of how the Palestinian people are treated. That's why they thought they did.
Starting point is 01:31:17 So when we're here and we get to this conversation, a lot of people will be like, I see people be like, free Palestine. Or they'll be like, you know, I like free palestine or they'll be like you know uh i condemn israel or even if they're like i condemn amas cool cool man so what up what's up what are we doing now we're at this point in the conversation cool we're caught up on who we're picking in the war and who we think should stop bombing or who should do more attacks or who should do less but what are we doing we just we still have this problem here with these two people that are literally the craziest part they're
Starting point is 01:31:49 fucking compatible people these people are like i've been to israel it's so fucking similar the the food that are consumed the days of prayer practically how they pray in many ways it's so compatible and they're at the same location when you're in israel there are muslims on one side and there are israelis uh jews on the other side and they're praying to the same wall of this temple like you know what so what is it i don't know what the solution is there's two there's two options was that there's one one country um yeah but it's this isn't like a it's like an eon conflict and it's like hey guy from missouri what do you think and it's like i think we got enough problems in america i don't i want nothing to do with the i want i care as much about israel as i care about ukraine or palestine or
Starting point is 01:32:37 russia like they are not relevant to me in my time not at all russia is hugely relevant to me data other than watching ovechkin chase that gold record i don't give a you have russia's usually relevant to me data other than watching ovechkin chase that gold record i don't give a fuck about russia would you but would you you don't want any involvement with any country you have you have bases all over the world yeah i don't think that's ideal i think that spreads us very thin and that we have a lot of issues that need handling on the home front involving us in another war their aircraft bases right like we don't fight wars with like bunches of troops you know we have tons of bases all over the world i think they were talking about you ever you ever see that picture of iran
Starting point is 01:33:14 and how many bases we have completely surrounding those motherfuckers and then we're like why do they dislike us it's like yeah we keep them under our thumb where they fucking belong taylor i i'm tired of these these gen z americans who don't realize that we're the winners you didn't live through the 90s this is what we fucking do they taught us two things in school world war ii and america's a winner all right that's what we do we kill people we blow shit up and we sell our weapons to other people that's what we do here if this was hunger games we'd be the state that makes all the bombs that's what we're about we're good at we're the best at Games, we'd be the state that makes all the bombs. That's what we're about. We're good at it.
Starting point is 01:33:46 We're the best at it. We're better at it than anyone in the universe has ever been as far as we know. For now, this isn't going to last forever. Here's a question about this Palestinian thing. Do you think if they stop bombing now, all those 1.9 million people who are left are going to be like,
Starting point is 01:34:02 glad the Jews left us alone. Let's forgive and forget hey guys forgive and forget right no no everyone they kill is another one they won't have to kill in 10 years that's just where american military bases are oh god it's beautiful i don't even know what some of those islands we need more in russia and china yeah i know they're just like floating in the middle like that one under india what's even there and why do you need to be there? Okay, let's get real here. We can save a lot of money pulling stuff out of South America.
Starting point is 01:34:30 Who cares what's going on down there? Central America. Same thing. Who cares? Southeast Asia. What are we doing in the Philippines and Indonesia? I don't care. Africa?
Starting point is 01:34:41 Central America? Who cares about Africa? You need that Central America, though. No. You're going to have a Canada to the south. You're going to have people from other countries. I don't think we have any in Mexico.
Starting point is 01:34:59 It doesn't look like we have any Mexican bases. Maybe like Guatemala down there. I wouldn't think so well i was going to say that the thing is like uh yeah too many if if we were talking about one thing and then i went to something else like you know the we spent we canada sends money to ukraine and to gaza for aid and uh you know the money gets sent out and the houses are so expensive here. There's a million problems to solve at home, you know? And it's obviously just very important to your country to be everywhere.
Starting point is 01:35:33 That's just something that the U.S. has done from the beginning. It's well, from the beginning. I mean, you know, post-World War II. Since World War II, yeah. Yeah, it's just. We've been running shit. I don't think that's ideal. I don't think.
Starting point is 01:35:44 I think you overextend and you start spending money in ways that isn't yeah yeah it's just we've been running shit i don't think that's ideal i don't i think i think you overextend and you start spending money in ways that isn't beneficial to the people at home and the people at home start to feel like this government isn't even representing me what what the hell i don't have health care i don't have this and that we traded health care for a military what's that policy called so that we get you did it though you have the money you have the money for both by the way it's not one or the other. Oh, it was that policy about two wars
Starting point is 01:36:10 essentially on opposite sides of the globe. I haven't heard it. I don't know if there's a name for it. World War II. War on two fronts. Not just two fronts, but being able to fight a war in Europe and Asia, for example, like we did in World War II.
Starting point is 01:36:26 I don't think there's a big war that's going to break out in, like, Asia, right? Yeah. That's exactly where the big war is coming. That's where the main war is coming. USA and China, like, the fact that they had discussions recently were pretty chill discussions, kind of, low-key. And even Biden calling him a dictator and saying it's a dictatorship is kind of low-key and and even biden calling him a dictator and saying it's a dictatorship is kind of low-key chill uh rolling out the red carpet for him rolling out the red
Starting point is 01:36:50 carpet for him and having uh like uh the streets cleaned up because he's coming to visit was so crazy and bizarre because the streets have always been crazy and bizarre and what's crazy and bizarre is also so many people like and i'm not it's not a what about ism thing like israel i'm not backing the politics of israel but in terms of muslims uh and genocide the the uighur numbers in china they're taking people from their families in the middle of the night and they're putting them in prison they're wiggers re-educations you know uh yeah we could be weaker yeah um but i've heard my way the wigger muslims yeah no it's for real and i'm like they're all wearing jeans j-rock from trailer park there's crazy stuff going on there and no one no one is uh protesting that it's just there's this there's like such a crazy attachment to this israel palestine thing there's a crazy attachment uh because what's crazy about
Starting point is 01:37:54 it is like for example taylor like you don't care but even though you don't care it comes up like crazy because they report on this shit a million times more than they do on every other war and they ask everything else going on right now there's there's a couple of genocides going on right now and this this one is focused on the most there's something about it that's extremely compelling and clickable um maybe it's uh maybe it's the color of the people's skins maybe it's the location maybe you know maybe it's the jews uh but there's a lot to it that is for some reason way more but uh i mean if you don't care really ultimately it's just another war dude it's just another one it's not particularly extra crazy it's just fucked up humans being fucked up people and doing fucked
Starting point is 01:38:45 up shit and that's yeah there's always going to be people futzing around doing horrific atrocities all over the world like and we can't stop all of it you and i have very different versions of futzing around these these no good nicks are getting involved there's always going to be people around i picture them them looking at their feet walking through Central Park. They're kicking rocks with their hands in their pockets. That's what they're doing, futzing around. Not bombing the shit out of people.
Starting point is 01:39:15 Really wasting time. And when we're eventually supposed to support a war against China for fucking Taiwan or something, I don't care about Taiwan either. Let's take care of our stuff now. Let's take care of stuff in America. How about a little dollar reduce for America? What would your top priority
Starting point is 01:39:31 be here in America? For all the unemployed infantrymen that you're wanting to fire. It would be healthcare, securing our borders, taking care of American veterans, actual money going to Americans. No,
Starting point is 01:39:45 but you could do that. You have that money. It's not a one. It's not like a this or that. Like you could do all those things. We should do those things, but like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:39:55 I agree with you. I can't overextend ourselves with forever wars all across the globe because that's not, that doesn't benefit Americans. It costs us money and you have to fund them well the the benefit uh is that your government isn't going to choose to send you to war because you have other countries fighting your wars for you that's how winners get things done like you're you don't have to go uh sign up to go fight uh something because you're sending guns and ammunition
Starting point is 01:40:26 and all that to that country to defend itself. The Army missed their recruitment numbers by a significant margin. They have been for a while. Why would you want to join the military at this point? Not only that, there's a really extra ugly aspect to it. Oh, but wait, that's free anyway, I guess. It's because unemployment is so low.
Starting point is 01:40:42 No, no, no. Also, Army recruiting is easier when unemployment isn't record low and what they did was the army um uh what's it called when you let them go uh when they're uh just discharged people that didn't want to get vaccines and those people have gotten letters from the u.s army now being like hey uh sorry so it turns out that was like some weird mumbo jumbo whatever uh new president and whatever uh we we want you to join the army so you're back in the army if you want it no pressure we're sorry about the vaccine thing so they do that because the recruitment was so low and and that's the type of stuff where once again like uh yeah i said i love the usa i love canada i don't like when people disrespect it but once again they're fucking liars too like what a clown show to
Starting point is 01:41:35 it's all like mandating vaccines but biden let them back in i wouldn't have believed you but here we are this whole this whole yeah this whole thing did they kick him out while trump was still doing his thing i know because a friend of mine was in that position he was leaving anyway but yeah that's why i'm not disputing it i buy it yeah no trump was the one out there who's like you got to get the vaccine it's the best vaccine warp speed warp speed people he never brought them back that was greatest accomplishment like he might he probably saved tens of thousands of americans his greatest accomplishment was humiliating all of those fucking goobers on the stage in the debates
Starting point is 01:42:18 in 2015 that i mean as a president always be his golden moments for me but i don't think the first vaccine was from project warp speed i think it was second and third or something like that. It wasn't? Really? Well, that's upsetting. How did they beat Project Warp Speed? Yeah. Let me fact check myself. The lying Democrats are coming to you with operations super fast.
Starting point is 01:42:36 You want to take it away from me? You want to take it away? Yeah. Trying to take away my credit for the Warp Speed vaccine. If he comes out and he doesn't misremember things, he doesn't call St. Louis fucking Atlanta or some shit during, you know, when he's on the big stage, because nobody's covering him.
Starting point is 01:42:57 That's the thing about his little flubs right now. Camera's really on him. He has his Fox News will go on there. I don't know where I watch it. I think I watch his his rallies on youtube i'll tune in for 10 minutes kind of take the the temperature of his mental capacity to make sure because look he's my guy he's that funny witty guy who makes fun of people and bullies people i can't have him slipping like you're talking about trump yeah we need him all day bullying nicky haley that dummy he was on the
Starting point is 01:43:25 uh ugly bitch stand he took a stand today and uh he uh had apparently like had a piece of paper in his coat pocket and like he kept like pulling it out and like playing with it and the judge was like stop doing that and then he pulled it out and he was like it's a paper i would like to read this the judge was like no it's not the time for that right now and because he's it out and he was like it's a paper i would like to read this the judge was like no it's not the time for that right now and because he's trump and he doesn't take no for a fucking answer fucking get the sale done he was like no i think it would be very uh it would be good for me and none of this would be important and i would be cleared of everything if i were just allowed to read this paper why wasn't he allowed to read it?
Starting point is 01:44:09 Because there's proper order of things done in court, I guess. And also a judge. The judge can run his court however he wants. I don't like that rule. I think judges, you can't make them little mini kings. They got to have some rules. Put them back in wigs so people know to bully them you bring knock them down a peg knock all the judges down a peg bitches sitting up there in their ivory towers writing opinions every once in a while
Starting point is 01:44:36 it's a hammer buddy i don't care what you call it it's a hammer i don't know what the situation was but there was oh maybe it was when the republicans ousted the the house speaker so whatever that fucking shit was the senate majority i don't remember but the guy who was i think it was republican he was overseeing it and he like banged the gavel down super hard to show how super super mad he was and he like missed the the mallet the piece of wood you're supposed to hit he was so mad he missed it like dude in your head you looked so cool doing that and you look like a fucking pussy yeah you missed he had no shoulder in his slam it was a politician's rapping that's what i want to say that that's one of the things i do like about our congress it looks somewhat modern like the
Starting point is 01:45:21 rituals and stuff they do come out with this big golden eagle or some shit occasionally. I saw that recently on C-SPAN. I'm cool with that. A big golden eagle? That makes us look serious? It made me think of Rome, how you'd have that big standard, that big golden eagle. They came out with that shit. But if you ever watch Parliament, like English-British Parliament, whatever,
Starting point is 01:45:39 in England, I guess, they have that. They've got all sorts of witchcraft going on there's big old tomes on there each other middle class will the homosexual gentleman from wicket shire please stand and offer a rebuff to my eight guys stand up yeah eight guys stand up and they definitely come out also with like maybe a sword and like some sort of a magic scepter like i think they've got a sword and scepter like it's some crazy shit see i'm cool with that i would actually you said the rome thing about the yeah the gold eagle standard thing yeah i think we could borrow more stuff from
Starting point is 01:46:17 rome as far as our aesthetics they looked fucking tight they looked good i'm so with you i'm so with you um i i like to salute take some of that ukraine money throw throw our guys in togas a bunch of golden roman eagles and and we we just put spqr on things like straight up is that worse because i feel when you come straight up with it it feels like that thing hitler would actually do when they saluted him. It's the lazy sort of Ja, how are you, Sven? Yes, yes, yes. I said hello! They were sending him the salute power and he was absorbing it with that one.
Starting point is 01:46:54 Just like, whoop, whoop, whoop. Just sucking in the energy. He blows you a kiss, you grab it. I never saw a Hitler clip, or maybe I'm just misremembering, where he does the full-on Nazi salute. He would do it for the crowd. When the army's goose-stepping past,
Starting point is 01:47:09 he'd give them the big one and hold it like Mussolini would. How about this? Instead of spending money on Israel or Ukraine or Palestine or whatever, we do some more of those really cool marching army walk-bys. You watch those Nazi videos and you're like this looks pretty cool like this that's a pretty like everybody's walking in lockstep they got tanks right now north korea drops they drop some sick parade see i disagree walk i disagree sometimes north korea i really like that the u.s while we have like their missiles on trucks sorry
Starting point is 01:47:45 we definitely have the best weapons and probably the most of them but we don't do that because everybody knows we don't need to have a parade down the street when this when the russians do that it's it's weak it's like uh it's like that thing uh dave chapelle said that kanye told him how like billionaires don't wear their money on their body. Like he did. Tuck your chain in. It's like that. We don't need to do a parade for you to know that we have cool weapons. Watch the news. I mean, speaking just from a perspective of a little bit of fun,
Starting point is 01:48:16 like wouldn't that kind of be neat? I like the way we do it. I like the way we're like, you know what? Don't you want to see the money you spent? I was saying. We do? The way we do it. I like the way we're like, you know what? Don't you want to see the money you spent? I was saying. We do? The way we do it is we undersell our capabilities all the time. We go out there.
Starting point is 01:48:32 We're like, our patrons could probably take out some of these, but never the hypersonics. Meanwhile, they can. And the Russians are like, ours go at fucking nine times the speed of light. And then they don't do anything like that. And so ours make black holes actually you know you know what i would do if i was the king we undersell it i'd shut down any sort of money leaving to foreign places and even the military would get big cuts because
Starting point is 01:48:56 nasa's with the military kind of and it'd be like you want the money back get us to the moon again get us to the fucking moon again and without the money the flood no no they've got the moon money they've had the moon money the next time the day after you're king and you make all these changes like china's on the phone they're like yeah do it now no he's a complete retard no he's he's a brain invade him. I looked up the vaccine thing. So the Moderna one totally was warp speed. The Pfizer one was coming out anyway. And I think it was the first one.
Starting point is 01:49:32 And the Johnson and Johnson one, I didn't see. I don't remember what I got now. I got all three, so I'm good. I've only had Moderna. I tripled up. All three at the same time. Are you vaccinated now, Harley? Are you currently boosted?
Starting point is 01:49:46 What's so crazy is I got the vaccine and I got three boosters or something. I feel bad for me. You're quad boosted, man. And I got COVID twice. So what the fuck? Let me get the answer to my question. Are you currently vaccinated?
Starting point is 01:49:59 And then I lost my boxing match because of the vaccine. Is this on? I don't think he's up yeah i don't think he's up i don't think he's trusting the science what yeah i can't tell if you're still maintaining your vaccination oh no i'm not i'm not continuously doing the covid vaccine okay um i'm much healthier now and i can do it myself i have a bunch of ivermectin as well and i'm kidding i just uh like i like listen before this i used to get the flu shot.
Starting point is 01:50:27 Like, I was a person that got the flu shot. That's not a more often. There was like, you know, most of the time I would get the flu shot. But now, I mean, I probably still choose a flu shot over a COVID shot. I don't know if I'm getting a flu shot and a COVID shot every year. I didn't get any this year. Travis Kelsey let me know just Monday night that I need to get the flu shot and the COVID shot. Have you seen him run with that pigskin?
Starting point is 01:50:52 I got to get in there and get back. I got that last week. I did it. I hadn't done anything for two years. I went to Mexico two years ago and got all vaccinated. And then nothing until I needed a physical anyway and included with the physical was a free flu and COVID shot
Starting point is 01:51:09 and Kyle inspired me to get the flu shot actually not by telling me but by getting the flu it was fucking hard he told this story where I guess he was sick all night long and he had like folded up the towel to make a kneeling pad in front of the toilet,
Starting point is 01:51:26 if I understand the story right. And then his lady friend saw it in the morning and was like, whoa, someone was going through it last night. Yeah, because you could see the knee impressions on the towel. Right? And I've been there after a drinking episode. And I know how horrible it is to be that sick so i got my flu shot kyle yeah you trust in uh no you know i i only got i i don't trust science i don't i
Starting point is 01:51:53 don't believe most um look i think science often points us to the most likely outcome magic he ain't about that magic he ain't about it but no you're not you're literally not supposed to trust science you're supposed to verify i've played enough poker to know that a lot of you know the most likely thing doesn't always happen it's just the most likely thing that to happen i i don't trust the science most of the time i don't know about that fucking vaccine the fact that like it doesn't prevent transmission like it's just gonna make my symptoms um i'm talking about the covid thing in particular okay okay the the flu thing is is i'm not gonna go get that i'll get sick i'm talking about the covid thing in particular okay okay the the flu thing is is i'm not gonna go get that i'll get sick i'm more likely to get sick in the pharmacy getting
Starting point is 01:52:30 the flu shot or at the doctor than i am to get the flu the fact that i got sick is outrageous because i'm always fucking like i'm careful i and i don't stay around people much i don't like big crowds i've got like a core group of people i I don't know how I got sick. All this floss is chlorinated. All my floss is chlorinated. It's a disease-free zone over here. I was so sick. It was great. But yeah, I'm not going to get any vaccines.
Starting point is 01:52:57 Look, if they came out with a vaccine, I'll say, it's not that I, if they came out with a vaccine for, say, cancer, I'd line right up and go get it. You know, if they're like, oh, this prevents prostate cancer, it's the vaccine for prostate cancer. We've already whooped cancer's ass. Why are you scared of cancer? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:53:11 If this is the cancer vaccine for all cancer, I'm going and getting in line. Well, you wouldn't line up first. You'd be like, let's pump the brakes. Let's see how this pans out. See, I hope that they don't even open the line until they're sure. You know what i mean
Starting point is 01:53:25 that's the problem with the covid thing it was like hey we just invented a thing everybody get some or else and else you might lose your job or you will lose your job so i got it because i have my parents are old uh i have friends that are immunodeficiency whatever the fuck and it was like look i i don't think this is necessarily health food that I'm taking but I also inject myself with testosterone and L-carnitine and let's just go let's just get it you were in a shoot up mood like that
Starting point is 01:53:54 I was what I didn't want to be was in a situation where I get somebody sick and they're in a hospital for three months and I'm like fuck why don't I just get the goddamn shot and like just like forget what Kid Rock says and get the shot. I've never had COVID. Neither have I.
Starting point is 01:54:12 I don't know if that's because I've been vaccinated or if it's because I just don't usually expose myself to a lot of people. It's a working class disease. You're healthy. Real poor man's disease. I mean, I expose myself to people all the time, but you can't get COVID from ChatterBee. Make it class.
Starting point is 01:54:28 You can't do that. Yeah, well, there was a time when you were getting sick during the COVID shit, Kyle, and you're like, it's not COVID because I won't get tested for COVID. No, I've taken the test, and I think if you have antibodies for COVID, so if you've ever gotten it, like not just if you've got it right now, but if you got it last year, it would show up.
Starting point is 01:54:49 And I don't know. I don't. Syphilis, though. I had it for a while, COVID. Yeah. I wonder if getting vaccinated impacts that test that you talked about. Oh, that's a good question. You would hope not.
Starting point is 01:55:01 I don't know. You'd hope all these things were. Yeah, you could smell syphilis. You can, and you can see it when your foot skin is peeling off this girl this girl i was seeing her palms like they they she had a roommate and uh went into the bathroom and there was this putrid smell that's not syphilis i went in right after yeah it was apparently because she went and got checked after because her she also had syphilis it smelled like a fucking zombie's breath
Starting point is 01:55:35 was it fishy what did it smell like no it was like a biological like putrid pussy like not yeah like it was deeper than a shit it was not a shit sometimes girls forget their tampon in there for months at a time like there can be one in there and they're like decomposing this clot ball of of human flesh and the and the in the lining of their uterus is just rotting inside them in this cotton ball growing bacterium of all sorts because you know that that it's flora and fauna down there in that snatch. And then months later, when they finally figure out what it is, it's a
Starting point is 01:56:10 smell that's sort of like, yeah, there's crabs. So slowly, they've gotten used to the smell over time. It wasn't like, it's not like walking in a room with a stink. You're like, whoa, you're in the face. But if you slowly add a little more stink to somebody's life every day, they don't even notice it oh yeah yeah it's like boiling you slowly you know so
Starting point is 01:56:30 that's what happens to these chicks they have rock crotch and they don't even know that made me think like i had uh last night i got like did you forget your tampon i forgot my tampon in. No, I bought these like Quest bars, like the protein Quest bars. Like they have different flavors, like terrible macros. Like, I mean, they're tasty, though. And they have like a cookies and cream one that has like bits of like very tasty white chocolate, like faux white chocolate. It's not real sugar. It's like the sugar alcohol thing to keep it low. Every 21 grams of protein, 190 calories.
Starting point is 01:57:09 Okay, that's excellent. That's exactly what I'm talking about. No, they're pretty good. No, their flesh is pretty good. And so I started eating one of those last night, and I was like, they're fantastic. I ate like six of them last night,
Starting point is 01:57:22 and they have, every single one of them has 40s i checked before this 46 of your daily fiber every single one of them does and so i had like three i had like broccoli and chicken for dinner so with the broccoli fiber added in i was rolling at about three four hundred percent of my daily fiber and i don't have like my my farts are very average they're not like i've never been blessed with room clearing farts. Like, you know,
Starting point is 01:57:47 those guys, like there was this guy, I went to high school or intensity in smell, smell. There was my buddy Tyler in high school. Like every once in a while, I could be a big group of guys in a basement. Like we're like 15 and we stink playing video games and he would fart and like
Starting point is 01:58:01 laugh and we'd be like, what? And then it'd be like, Oh, like it was rancid. And you'd be like oh like it was rancid and you'd be like that was fucking tyler because like those farts would run you out of the room i like was taking my morning shit like this morning and it was well first of all just absolutely piling out of me with all that fiber and the gas was so rancid i'm like oh my god
Starting point is 01:58:23 that fiber and the gas was so rancid. I'm like, Oh my God, am I sick? And then I was like, no, it's probably the six protein bars with all that fiber that you ate in the six. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:34 It's six. I mean, they tasted so good. It's like 1200 calories. The problem with them is they get, they get, they get hard. Oh,
Starting point is 01:58:42 my protein. Those get hard fast. Yeah. Like after a certain amount of time, you got to start microwaving them a little bit. Cause they get, no, hard all my protein those get hard fast yeah like after a certain amount of time you got to start microwaving them a little bit because they no no no no they become like hard like glass i'm gonna another six tonight it was a box of 12 i get the amazon brand ones um and uh i think the peanut butter is probably my favorite flavor but i would freeze them so that i couldn't go through one it'd slow me down you know you gotta gnaw on the thing to get through it otherwise you just consume it you inhale that fucking thing there's kyle's diet tips are i hear you guys are grabbing a miserable
Starting point is 01:59:12 miserable fucking bowl it's like you know what i got a trick and when i'm hungry i just put ice in a towel and chew on it it's great it's not great it's fucking horrible it is terrible i just get out my flagellation whip and i give myself a go and suddenly i don't want food at all you do that to some isis member in guantanamo that's a war crime like how about you chew on some ice chips in a towel you've you fucking savage they'd be lean as fuck though you gave them six months of that it was absolutely striated just in the snow so fucking lean but yeah I had some bad Osama been lifted over there Osama been lifted
Starting point is 01:59:54 yeah no freeze them and I also like Greg Doucette's protein bars that you make from scratch get out the big KitchenAid mixer and I'm pouring that that gglug ggl um whatever that liquid fiber shit is and i does he have a name form or something there's a certain kind of taste to it oh like snickerdoodle maybe or something oh score um i think you're supposed to so that was too many cat i was like why do i want empty
Starting point is 02:00:21 calories fuck you greg doucette you pussy So I didn't put any score in mine. That's fat, though. Greg Doucette's too fucking weak-willed to get on board with not throwing a fistful of candy in his... You want a picture of Greg Doucette, the fatty fat, so? You weak-willed bitch throwing that handful of score in there. No. I made them, and I segmented them perfectly into bars. And then you spray some wax vapor with a bit of Pam, like nonstick spray.
Starting point is 02:00:48 And then you wax and then you wrap the bar in it because the bar is sticky like glue. And then it freezes and you can peel it away from the wax paper when you're ready to eat them at your leisure. And the way I did it, I just had dozens and dozens of them. Come on, Greg. You don't need a handful of score. I guarantee. Greg probably doesn't eat the score either. He just puts the score in there for like the people watching. Come on, Greg. You don't need a handful of score. I guarantee. Greg probably doesn't eat the score either. He just puts the score in there for people watching.
Starting point is 02:01:09 He probably doesn't. He's always that lean. I'm sorry, Kyle. Your story. He's a bad motherfucker. Love Greg Doucette. He raises armpits. I don't know how much I like that. No, you don't. I feel like if you fuss about shaving nice, if you fuss about shaving your armpits,
Starting point is 02:01:26 it's almost like you don't get the sport. Like, you know, it's bodybuilding. You shave your armpits, you bronze yourself so you look like a statue that's been left in the rain too long. And, you know, that's sort of a mahogany look. Yeah. I might say that goalie is dressed quite silly as well. But if you understand the sport, it makes more sense.
Starting point is 02:01:48 Yeah. Honestly, putting deodorant on is just slicker. I don't shave with a razor, but I take my beard trimmer and take the guard off and just go and now I have armpit hair. So you keep your armpits not cliche? Stubbly, I guess.
Starting point is 02:02:04 I don't put a lot of effort into it but i don't want like a forest of hair in there i'll take scissors to it on occasion do you like if i notice like i'm getting real sweaty like to me more in her original playboy shoot she's she's she's got scissors cutting at her huge bush well that's what i'll do occasionally like maybe once a year i'll be like oh my armpit hair is really fucking long and i'll just give it a little snippy do and then i'm then i'm good when it sticks out the front when your arms are down when your arms are down you got hair coming out the front when you're just standing there that's when they gotta be trimmed a little that
Starting point is 02:02:39 is a good litmus test yeah when i'm like like looking at a side profile after lifting and it looks like I'm smuggling a hamster under my arm. I wanted to bring these bad boys. This one's a really good protein bar. That's what I use. I love these ones. You get the three-pack. Sometimes the peanut butter one, very rare, might smell like fish a little bit.
Starting point is 02:03:01 It's very bizarre. It's happened a couple times. And I highly recommend these ones, the Costco ones. They're actually the best. Those are solid. The Costco ones are really fucking good. I like these two flavors. I used to get the Costco ones, and I'd be pissed that they made you buy the combo pack
Starting point is 02:03:17 because I'm like, just give me that cookie dough one. I like the brownie and the cookie dough, but there's a third flavor. Isn't there one more flavor in it? Perté cake. One of them has like a mint chocolate chip, but I don't want that. I don't want that either. Usually cookie dough is a good one. We don't want that.
Starting point is 02:03:36 The Costco ones taste exactly like the Quest ones. They're really, really similar. The Quest ones have more shit in it. I was trying to get Harley's buddy the other day to to get on the t i was like how's your hair the battle's been lost you know like like at that point i we need to look up with more funding we need to look up what it costs to freeze sperm because i bet it's not not all that expensive oh i was going to guess more than you'd think
Starting point is 02:04:06 because I know freezing eggs is expensive. That's a whole different thing though. You can just keep it in a cup. You keep it in a styrofoam cup and it's good to go. Just keep it in a sock. You're keeping it in a towel? I would not want to...
Starting point is 02:04:22 Actually, how healthy is the sperm after it's been frozen? Does it come back to life pretty good? Yes. Yes. Because they say that sometimes like you'll freeze an egg and then they try and thaw the egg out and it's like your eggs gone rotten, ma'am. And she's like, what? I'm 42.
Starting point is 02:04:35 I this can't be how much. So how much does the IV cost? Because you're going to have to defrost that sperm and then have a doctor fertilize your lady at some point is the is what we're presuming here so 100 to 300 a year to keep it however i and i'm sure of this you could keep it at home in your own storage thing or just in your balls until you need it no you're not going to be making it in your balls because you're going on testosterone so you can begin ox man you're going to look like something from a greek fucking play all right you're gonna look like that guy on odysseus ship who was too yoked to get off like did you tell me i'm gonna be a that's why i'm infertile because my bottom half is worse like you're gonna agree yes okay like taylor has has almost maximized his genetic potential he's so big and yoked and powerful
Starting point is 02:05:20 lifting for a long time if he started started taking some testosterone, he would look like a pro wrestler in 12 months. He could literally look like WWE big in 12 months. Eight months of lifting, three months of cutting, and then a month of just walking into people at public grocery stores. I never
Starting point is 02:05:40 move my shoulders. Just barreling through black grocery aisles. Ch chicks don't want that. No, they don't. They don't know what they want until Tina is in the room. Okay. I'll tell them what they want. The blues off.
Starting point is 02:05:56 See, they're not even doing. They're not going to make the playoff. Chicks don't like what you fucking got. Brock Lesnar. Jay Cutler. Those are different. One of those guys is very scary, and the other one has an incredible body.
Starting point is 02:06:12 Paolo Costa, though. Like, Paolo Costa body. Like, superhero body. Not steroid freak. Just superhero. No, put up Chris Bumstead. Every girl wants Chris Bumstead. Oh, I don't care what they say.
Starting point is 02:06:24 Zach, would you do a picture of Chris Bumstead? A flattering one where he's all ready. He's competition ready. Pull up a freak one too. He is a Mr. Olympia, but Mr. Olympia has two categories. It used to be I forget what the unlimited
Starting point is 02:06:40 category is called. Maybe open. That used to be the prestige event. But since then, they added this physique competition i might have the physique guys are the size of what the main competition guys used to be like when arnold was around like this guy this guy's this guy's arnold size but the people in the open competition got so freakishly large and the amount of drugs they took gave them sometimes like bubble bellies and other like weird they didn't have abs. Yeah, and it was like
Starting point is 02:07:12 you know, these just aren't attractive men anymore. They pushed it too far in one direction. This guy has amazing triceps. His ass tent is bigger than mine. Can you grab another picture of him? Pull up Phil Heath. That's a beautiful man. Taylor said his ass tent's bigger than mine. I Pull up Phil Heath. That's a beautiful man. Taylor said his ass is bigger than mine. I didn't hear it.
Starting point is 02:07:28 That's great. Yeah, so this guy, great body. I actually thought he was going to look more too big than he really does. See, I think this dude looks... Yeah, it's too much, but he is again at the... Why would a girl not want this?
Starting point is 02:07:43 I think it's too big for like the look here's what and and here's what i mean by this of course there are girls who want this there are groupies off the stage ready to suck this guy's dick probably but what i'm looking for is what the most women are attracted to right like like i think optimize you know as a man that's how i live my life that's why if i was not circumcised i would get an adult circumcision and taylor scoffs at that. It's like, dude, what if you had one where it never opened up all the way and you could just kind of see
Starting point is 02:08:09 a little bit of your penis? Why don't most of them are like that? What if your foreskin was just a porthole for your cock and you're like, yeah, see down in there? That's where my dick is. Nah, well, fuck off. That's where I keep the cheese. I think women like power. these men i want to apply to you want to like appeal to is the larger group of women as possible as you as you can possibly you know if that's what it took if if fucking greek uh like russian orthodoxy was
Starting point is 02:08:41 was what got latvian orthodoxy got You have to be an Asian Muslim bodybuilder. The Kvorka. I'd be the fucking Kvorka. I'd be down. Can you show this guy's picture? Yeah, I mean, as far as bodybuilders go, that guy was pretty attractive. I'm sorry, that's a bad copy-paste.
Starting point is 02:08:57 He had a good haircut and a straight nose. Oh, those look nutty. Caramel cashew. Let's see what these macros look like, Mr. Woody. It'll approve, I think. Oh, yeah. Let's see. You 200 calories here how many how many grams of protein 20 oh perfect yeah yeah it's right there taylor's numbers were a little better but they're same category the size probably matter like what i really want is like a big chunky thing to eat what if i'm eating protein bars here's what i use protein bars
Starting point is 02:09:23 bars are it's for waking up in the middle of the night and having cravings that's all i would use protein bars for um because like you know i'm gonna eat a meal if i'm hungry and i'm eating so many meals i'm not so and i'm drinking protein shakes i woke up in the middle of the night like two nights ago and ate what has to be 600 calories of cashews like i just like i just i was so hungry and i was like sounds like a small handful just desperate yeah it's like yeah that's the trouble with cashews it's like one large handful and it's like oh that can't possibly be 800 calories yes it is yes yeah but it's a real food and that's what i tell myself in the middle of the night it's like i'm basically like a stone age forager yes yeah those people you know how the people in the middle of the night. It's like, I'm basically like a Stone Age forager.
Starting point is 02:10:06 Yes, yeah. You know how the people in the Stone Age would come across thousand calorie bounties of salted cashews to eat in the middle of the night. I'm waiting for Zach to pull up. Eight steps from their cave. Go run 20 kilometers through the brush carrying a log and then
Starting point is 02:10:22 you have your cashews. In the wild, you only get that many cashews. Zach, the zach the topic is running the fuck away oh be right back he's gone you're scrolling i didn't see that either i'm like maybe he's having maybe he's having a hard time pulling it up i was like oh i'm like this is crazy i'm like i'm so excited i'm here for the day that zach is being defiant i was like this is so much fun for me. But no, he said BRB. I didn't even realize that either. Sometimes I do that. I saw the picture.
Starting point is 02:10:49 For logical reasons. Yeah, so it's Connor Murphy. It's Connor Murphy, which is so funny. You got his OnlyFans? Does he have that? Okay, good. Does he have an OnlyFans? Is it X-rated?
Starting point is 02:11:00 I assume so. No, I assume he's X-rated. Most dudes do like workout and diet shit on OnlyFans I heard But I don't want to get I have a little bit of a Connor Murphy hold to go into real fast But I want to hear what he's going with Just that old school Connor Murphy
Starting point is 02:11:16 Is to me the almost Perfect physical specimen Like if I could have anybody's body You're gay for saying that now Got you This guy's on a cleanse right Kyle specimen like if i could have anybody's body you're gay for saying that now got you nope got you this guy's on a cleanse right guy i was gay before i said that so it's like no always brad pitt fight club that's ideal body it's like that's a very good one i like
Starting point is 02:11:39 but i wouldn't argue with either um i like captain america when the thing pops off that the iron maiden thing pops off and he's in that comes out of the chamber yeah that's that size that's a really good one too but to me chris bombsford or whoever this year is mr olympia is uh it's too much chicks don't want that chicks don't nobody they do want that they do want that i think uh chicks want it chicks say they want dad buds they want everything they don't want that. Chicks don't. Nobody wants that. They do want that. They do want that. I think. Chicks say they want dad bods. They want everything. They don't say. They're open.
Starting point is 02:12:09 They're open to it. They're just. Liars. Okay. Don't listen to anything that women tell you. That's right. All you got to do is be funny. Have money.
Starting point is 02:12:16 Be kind of cool. Have people like you. And then you can have as big a muscle as you want or as little muscles you want. You could have your tiny penis. You could have your big penis. It doesn't matter. You just got to be funny have money smell good and be clean and i would add a little more to that you need to be not totally ugly and sort of uh now if you're if you're muscular if you're muscular it's fine i mean even if what's ugly like is your like face on upside
Starting point is 02:12:41 down or do you have like a big scar and an eye patch? I'm thinking particularly bad snaggle teeth and stuff like that will lower your... That's the hygiene. Hygiene's important. I put teeth in hygiene. They don't even notice the teeth. Jeremy would be dating good-looking chicks and I'm like, what about the teeth?
Starting point is 02:13:01 They're like, what are you talking about? They don't notice that. The bar is so low. the bar is low for men we really don't need to do the most i thought men weren't getting any swipes that's what i keep reading like 20 four he's he's an influencer of course it's easy woody he doesn't know what he's talking about it's like a millionaire saying money's easy to make like it's not even that it just it's just it's tall like the bar the bar is is is so low in the sense of like what you have to do is are things that a lot of men can do to raise themselves from a two on ten to an eight on ten in women's eyes whereas i think for women
Starting point is 02:13:38 if they're a two on ten starting point society demands so much more you got to spend like tens of thousands of dollars to get to an eight and even then people be like i don't like surgery you know like from a two to eight i feel like most women like if you're a two as a woman it's it you either have a facial deformity or you're so unbelievably fat that's what i wish i look like i don't and i don't have the genetics to ever have a waist that small. Tell me this guy's like 5'2". No, he's like 6'4". 6'4".
Starting point is 02:14:09 6'3". Oh, fuck, man. He's crazy. No, but I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something. I think you're a funnier guy, Taylor. I think you could go much further in conversation with women than this guy, essentially.
Starting point is 02:14:25 I've watched this guy. I guy watch a lot of his videos their mouths are full of this guy's cock while what he's telling a joke i'm telling a joke and they're they're like blowing this guy this guy i'm an absolute absolute ducks walking right they're over there laughing first of all I take it back. It's the grocery store. I would pick a different line. I can't be seen standing next to this guy. I look like I would go out there. I definitely I definitely would be get behind him. I'd be like, you're gay, right? I'd be honest.
Starting point is 02:15:00 You wish, pussy. Would you have you wish? I don't want to know. I'd be like, what'd you have for pussy. And then he slaps me. I don't want to know. I'd be like, what did you have for breakfast today? And then I can't get over him. He's got me with his hooks in me. He hits you up on Twitter that night, still thinking about it, pussy. So that guy, Connor, he used to do prank videos where he would go up to girls and be like, hey.
Starting point is 02:15:28 And then he would take his shirt off. He'd be like, which of these guys has the best body? And if they picked his, which they often did because look at him, he'd take his shirt off and be like, it was me the whole time. By the way, Clark Kennedy with glasses and a hat. Yeah. So he did that for a while he actually he got uh he was in an h3 video h3 when they were doing a lot when they were lampooning other youtube channels he uh was a target and i remember watching his response he put it up he's like no way i love
Starting point is 02:15:56 you guys you guys are so fun and funny that's so fun that you guys uh just totally roasted me i love that and i and i like that when people when people like take a joke or whatever take a ribbing um like a real side note it's how i became a fan of pitbull because walmart did a contest where people yes the 4chan contest and 4chan got him to go to alaska the walmart in alaska pitbull went and he performed his whole concert for like 32 people so he when people ask me i'm like yeah that is motherfucking mr worldwide he means it he stands on his business so love him for that that's great um so connor murphy he has he he i remember just being into like what he was doing a little bit and then he disappeared for a bit then he came back he was into this super crazy uh psychedelic era he was putting
Starting point is 02:16:47 up youtube videos that were nonsensical he was saying crazy shit his muscles were gone he was rambling he someone went to his house he had ordered all these cat things cat towers doesn't have a cat tons and tons of amazon boxes unopened shit everywhere that's by far the best part chat towers and they were like connor are you okay they're like are you okay he's like oh i'm going to hogwarts he was saying all types of crazy shit and that's fun crazy that's like crazy from from kids cartoons crazy and then he uh he didn't, like, I don't know what the plan was. But side note, I was also into, I like watching biohacking YouTube. So biohacking YouTube, I was watching this guy, Dr. Huge in Thailand.
Starting point is 02:17:40 And Dr. Huge was this guy who was a biohacker, just roided up so thick. Dr. Tony Huge, jack dude. And he does all these videos. And he kind of connected with Connor and was like, Connor is going to come down here to Thailand. And Dr. Huge and Connor linked up in Thailand. Dr. Huge was this other guy, Leo Longevity, who's another like a guy in that space. And they would do videos like
Starting point is 02:18:05 we're gonna take this boner medicine and then walk around all these lady boys with hard-ons and let's see if we don't get hard or some shit and then they would go like the ultimate prank yeah so and i remember watching it was like dr huge and connor and there's this other guy there and dr huge was like yeah so we're gonna give him this boner medicine and it's thin needle and we're gonna squirt it but you gotta sniff it so like you like put a needle in connor's nose and squirted it in carl connor sniffed it and they're like that's gonna get him hard for a long time and it increases your libido it doesn't just give you a boner makes you want to fuck like crazy he's like i i use it all the time and there was there was another guy there and this other guy
Starting point is 02:18:44 was like i don't use that stuff you guys probably think i'm crazy to the camera and i was like no i'm thinking my head i'm like no i don't think you're crazy because you didn't sniff the fucking boner medicine from the needle pal like you're pretty fucking normal and he goes yeah i don't do that he goes the one that i have does the same thing except it also gives you a tan and i was like that's so much more fucked up change your skin color and you can look it up like tan along or melana tan too yeah oh yeah we were talking about this yeah we dabbled in this a little bit yeah you change your race with that and yeah the guy was like i change your skin color yeah i need a little college uh little college scholarship and then you do that you do
Starting point is 02:19:22 that and then you become brown and you have a boner and you go up to lady boys and you're like oh she thinks i'm gay and brown uh but really i'm straight white man and then you're fucking the lady boy going haha they think i'm gay yes fucking lady boys and gay i have a whole other conversation for that i'm gonna put that on the back burner though we'll get back to that later yeah let's let that cheap doctor huge ads he has connor come and he gets connor on a whole new thing i don't know if they were doing cycles or whatever or whatnot but he's got him on this whole thing working out he's going he's going to thailand whatever um then uh this guy leo who lives with dr huge uh he uh he's dead wow no one spoke about it he he's dead in the house with dr huge
Starting point is 02:20:09 dr huge who they live in the house together dr huge hadn't heard from him in 30 hours and people are like 30 hours what do you what's going on what what why didn't you know what's going on he was like i assumed he was just in his room which like if i had a roommate he was in his room for like 24 hours. I'd be like, bro, you good? You want like a, I'm making pancakes. You want one? Something.
Starting point is 02:20:29 I don't know. But so he went and he opened up the door and the guy was like, his room was, you know, a little thrashed. And he went to go open the bathroom door and he couldn't. His body was inside the bathroom. couldn't his body was inside the bathroom so he like tried to get in allegedly and he like he he something was happened he said that there was nothing that happened anyways an autopsy came out recently he was hit on the back of the head with something very hard he died dr tony huge didn't had had some bizarre videos explaining it i mean i don't know people handle the what the how they are on camera differently i really don't know i'm just saying what happened and no one really spoke about it and then dr tony huge got banned off youtube i don't know why um and uh there's this no one knows what happened
Starting point is 02:21:14 to leo longevity turned up dead in the house that connor and tony huge go to and what's crazy about it is like the day he turned up dead they put out a video going to the gun range with lady boys and it was connor and dr huge i'm just saying you know i i think of you guys yeah i think of you guys as friends you're not even you're not even in my home sleeping as my roommate for years making videos with me i think of you guys as friends if you turned up dead i don't know if i'm uploading my went to the shooting range with Lady Boy's video that day. Like if Woody's dead, I'm probably not uploading my Lady Boy content.
Starting point is 02:21:52 I'm not like sitting there trying to decide what thumbnail to do. And that's what's like. Forgot, though, the Lady Boy video was in memoriam. Yeah, he loved Lady turned off ads. Yeah, it's got like him, like, like the, the last still of the video is like that sepia tone, like fade out of him with two lady boys says like RIP Leo longevity, the 1992 story.
Starting point is 02:22:19 I know what you spoke about it. Their names are. I can't believe Dr. Tony Hughes didn't get to the bottom of that yeah his friends professor max power and that's right that's how i found out about uh uh connor murphy's uh uh having an only fans because he spoke about it on the well we'll get connor murphy on the show and we'll get to the bottom of why you guys should you guys should you can give us some tips i just realized we are in the middle of why he's so hot. You guys should. He can give us some tips. I just realized we are in the middle of the third hour, so we're going to hear from a couple of sponsors, a couple of lovely, wonderful sponsors.
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Starting point is 02:32:54 Don't leave it up to chance with lock and load. And then the good music comes on and then with lock and load. And then it shows like a virile old man, kind of like a kind of like an let's try and get Robert F. Kennedy Jr. he's a jacked old guy and he would be kind of the version like I used to shoot and it'd be like alright you know what you're gonna be a quiet stand-in actor don't use that fucking horrible gravelly
Starting point is 02:33:15 voice that you got from like eating pussy at every truck stop from here to Portland like don't do that so yeah Michael Douglas is it yeah he got the throat cancer from eating his wife's pussy damn he talks about it a lot really well as well as he can as well as he can but she but i was busting so hard like why were you busting so hard because of lock and load code pka that's what it'd be. So yeah, check it out.
Starting point is 02:33:45 Buy our comp pills. Buy our comp pills and buy the freeze pipe and check out Ferro Distro and... Oh, I got this from Ferro Distro. I got this like... Dude, those are strong as shit. Is that the THCA one? This is the double donk. Yeah, the double doink.
Starting point is 02:34:00 It's like, it's, you know, you read the back of the package and it's like the strongest weed with the strongest weed speckled on top and then we dusted it with even stronger shit like there's literally powder all over it i always called those i always called those epic mealtime joints yeah this was someone made a little fucking they follow the epic mealtime rules they're like put weed in it wrap it in weed sprinkling weed and then it's you drunk like, we got weed. Just the – dude, I loved the old Epic Mealtime videos.
Starting point is 02:34:30 It's melting. It's so liquidy around it. Oh, yeah. You got that like almost – it's like a weed honey almost. If you're one of those people – like this is that – this is legal fucking hemp. So get yourself some. My mouth is numb already. It fucks your ass up.
Starting point is 02:34:43 It's really, really strong. It will get you – the thca is no joke uh but i love those old parts of epic mealtime harley where like by scene i could see like your eyes get lazier and then it would eventually you'd just be just screaming like and i can imagine what amir whoever the camera guy was like no say it again and you're like we got more bacon than you. Yeah, I got to go through all the old episodes and see all the jokes that I were like, this wouldn't fly. See how much they wouldn't fly now. I don't feel like you guys were ever too offensive with that.
Starting point is 02:35:19 I remember the fourth episode. There is one joke that I was cracking up laughing at. And I didn't want to put it in. I wasn't like, I just remember the first time I was really wondering if I could do it or not. And it was like, oh, it was the tobaccon epic. I was like, we put that in the oven for six hours while we all jerked off and fucked each other. And it was a shot of us just standing there together in the kitchen like and it was just a line wasn't even bad but just being like
Starting point is 02:35:50 while we jerked off and fucked each other it was like especially like uh what's the word like uh explicit and it was like and i i just and it was it was i just didn't know how it would fly and i was like forget it i don't ever let's put less did you ever record one and you're like we're not using this this didn't turn out like we wanted this is no good two two epic meals one of them was uh and we ended up releasing it eventually because we needed an emergency release it was like we we took ground beef and we put things inside the ground beef and made ground beef but when it was done it just looked like shit like actual like you put it in a condom and suck it and i looked i was like
Starting point is 02:36:32 we can't we can't put this out but then like eight months later i get my emergency release eight months later i was just like laughing at the whole concept i was like i put that shit up as i'll call it incredible hulk turds and it's a video that's out there i might i don't know if it's still out there we got a lot of weird incorrect copyright claims on videos so a bunch of them are private but yeah that was one video that we just trashed i was like it's not gonna it's not gonna i made uh we made this video one time um i think this company that uh did like soldier of fortune stuff like you would be able to what is that um mercenaries they arranged jobs for mercenaries um like they wanted an ad and i was like that sounds hilarious
Starting point is 02:37:14 um i thought you're talking about like soldier of fortune the magazine well doing this in the back of soldier fortune the magazine once you got past the booby traps and camera tarps. You got literal Soldiers of Fortune. Okay. Yeah. You got ads. It's like, needed. Former military service, you know, like, healthy, has you have your vaccinations for blah, blah, blah,
Starting point is 02:37:36 willing to do wet work in the Mediterranean, you'll be on a cargo vessel, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Does wet work mean killing or water? Yeah, potentially. Killing. Yeah. Killing. Like, That would be on there. It's mercenaries for hire.
Starting point is 02:37:50 We did this video with me, Gator, fucking Jeremy, and another person whose name I won't sully by saying. It was what's his name? Iraq veteran. Close. Looks like him.
Starting point is 02:38:05 Anyway, it was my neighbor who had, he's the one who actually blew up the fridge that time that hurt Scott. He was technically the one who pulled the trigger. Anyway, Chris, we're all wearing balaclavas. And the idea is we're advertising that, you know, you can go to this website, you can hire mercenaries if you're like a foreign government. And's all legal it's on the up and up but i was filming like multiple segments to be and i was like i'll fix the editing but one segment i'm like in a car shooting the windshield out with a pistol immediately like i go deaf because that's a
Starting point is 02:38:40 terrible idea i was like ah all right cut this part out but the main part was like there was a part where we're all standing there armed looking like douchebags um which was just cringy as fuck but then the main stunt was i'm in a truck that has explosives in it and i'm driving it down a hill and then i jump out as it's driving and then stand up and blow it up as it rolls away. So we got that done. That looked cool, but the rest of it was just a mess. And then I think we also tried to do one for, it was when you came down, Harley,
Starting point is 02:39:16 where I was trying to blow up turkeys or something and that just turned into a mess. I had bought so many turkeys and loaded them with explosives and the bones were hitting us. Like chunks of bone hit me and drew blood and i and and i was like this is what are we even doing we just ruined a lot of families thanksgivings is what we did youtube 2013 shit is what you were doing yeah what's the theme here does anyone know what the theme is well we did Thanksgiving kind of guns kind of we did Thanksgiving kind of
Starting point is 02:39:47 would you ever go back to it like if they if they gave me guns again Grandmaster Trump if Grand Wizard Trump gets in office and then he he looks down on you and he touches you with his magic finger of expungement
Starting point is 02:40:04 and he's like Kyle his magic finger of expungement yeah and and he's like kyle you you better get back out there champ you're my favorite youtuber and then like what you'd oh you definitely get back in the mix right dimitri would have to come back you'd have to give yourself a really silly you're telling me i got 45 i got 45 and 47 like pumping me up like is he gonna tweet me someone someone in the middle of a press conference is like president trump president trump will you uh free kyle myers will you remove the restrictions on him and he's like kyle myers that's the russian fellow online my god my god my favorite content yes and then he does that i like the one where he was the hitman
Starting point is 02:40:41 never played the games but he killed it like that that's what he would do and then you'd have to come back you'd have to serve your country of course i literally would well i like like if you were a fan i'd be like sir mate i know our recruitment is down i could help with army recruitment we could we'll do some kick-ass videos with me using some of the you know just sells itself. But yeah, of course, if the president was going to promote my fucking videos, yeah, of course. No, if they gave me guns back, I would make some kind of a content or another. But what I don't want to do is like...
Starting point is 02:41:13 Mr. Trump, do you know my password? Is that right? Join me. No, I could start a new channel with Mr. Trump is going to like... That would eat the algorithm alive. A brand new channel no i guess start a new channel with like mr trump is gonna like well like a hundred percent like that would eat the algorithm alive a brand new channel that we're the most popular gun youtuber believe it or not folks he was russian russian and people he's like not anymore we converted him converted him give him a new american name now he's a good
Starting point is 02:41:41 white um joining the army i and i was saying i have a topic of joining the army i asked sam sam hyde once i was like do you ever uh think about joining the army or ever do that he was like yeah i tried to join the army but the uh u.s government deemed that i was far too valuable as a civilian i don't know that sounds like you had it like ready to go ready to go they need the the ghost of providence up there making fucking youtube videos woody have you been following the ukraine war speaking of the ghost of kiev i i know it's falling a bit by the wayside here's what i know maybe filming that season two that's season one bro we're on season two now i see um i i've seen zielinski complaining that maybe the weapons aren't coming in the way he likes them to come in yeah you know daddy's not happy he'd like he'd like the money to be rolling
Starting point is 02:42:36 in on time and um while the war seems to have stagnated and i saw one commentator say that they've been moving at the same pace as the Battle of the Somme from World War I. Which, if you don't know, is that grindy battle where like 800,000 men died grinding in a field for years. They literally like they were there so long, like tanks got invented. They're like, we need something. And like while guys are waiting, like tanks started to exist now. something and like while guys are waiting like tanks started to exist now like yes they were conceptualized executed and delivered while this battle sat in fucking holes it's insane okay scariest sounding scariest sounding shit by the way but i also heard that the ukrainians had made
Starting point is 02:43:18 it across the dnipro river i think it is and that was a big deal because they weren't just across they were able to go across at any anytime they wanted because the other side is secure now but i also hear that city didn't matter at all and it's just it was a huge drain so here's what i know one like you said they crossed the denver river the ukrainian side had the high ground and the russian side which is also ukraine had the low ground which gave them a huge advantage you would think crossing the river would be a big problem so vulnerable and such but they kind of had fire control over the far side because of the altitude advantage and now they have i think multiple bridges where they're rolling armor over i'm not
Starting point is 02:44:02 sure about tanks but they have lots of things that look like tanks to normal people like me. Sure, APCs, Bradleys probably. That's what we're sending in numerous amounts. The hardware you know so much more about than I do, but I do know that they're not just people with guns anymore on boats. They're bridges. There's a name for the temporary bridges they set up. I forget, but they can drive tanks
Starting point is 02:44:25 or tank like things over and um at first i thought that attack vector was just a distraction they had been sort of attacking in two places like a seesaw so like they attack here they make the russians reinforce and then that makes it lighter over here where they can attack but it now it looks like that denipa river is something they're actually trying to forge a big attack through a river you know across on the other side river okay what do i know i've learned i don't know very much about conducting war during this ukraine thing i always thought that perhaps some common sense would get you pretty far and no it takes actual expertise to be good at this so i just watch what i learned from this war
Starting point is 02:45:06 is that uh like uh no one's ever going to invade the usa it was that old quote uh that i thought was like a chinese i think it was japanese yeah he was like no one will ever be able to invade the usa because there'll be a a gun behind every blade of grass and you actually saw it in effect in ukraine someone would kick open a door get shot and now like the other four 21 year old dudes that are outside and just saw their boy get shot are less inclined to be the first knocker at the next door when every single house like a person has a gun and they shoot back at you every single home is just it's like makes it hard yeah like usa is just like the people it's enormous the united states of america like it and we have some huge advantages i guess the the fact that we have
Starting point is 02:46:00 allies to both north and south the biggest oceans oceans on the sides. The biggest oceans on the sides. And I forget something about the mountain ranges or something. It's just a really hard place to attack. So defensively we're really good. Offensively it's still hard. Buckmoot, like you said, apparently Buckmoot wasn't important. They always said
Starting point is 02:46:20 it wasn't, that it was a Pyrrhic victory. And I guess that's kind of held true. But now they're attacking Andreevka? Andreev and drivka there's two eyes so you have to say like evga or something and it's weird but uh um that is a city that apparently is strategically important and the ukrainians really do want to keep it yeah and every day they're losing like another 100 500 meters and it's just they're surrounding it with this like pincher movement and they can't seem to stop it yeah i'm a spectator so i'm just here for the footage i saw some crazy shit a couple days ago i sent it to the group chat
Starting point is 02:46:55 you may not have seen it but this guy's laying on the ground with an ak and he's shooting full auto at a drone that's coming right at him and And when it hits him, I mean, he shoots until it hits him. Is he a Russian or an Ukrainian? I think he's a Russian. But he is blown into chunks. It's not one of those explosions where it's so big you can't really tell what happened. You're like, whoa, he's just kind of gone.
Starting point is 02:47:18 It was just the bright sides to blow him apart. But to see him, you could see the muzzle flash and the gases coming out of the AK because he's on his side lying down. He's going, he just explodes. And that was some hard shit.
Starting point is 02:47:34 That was one of the wilder clips I've seen in a while. The main problem with the Israeli thing to me is I'm a little... There's been some propaganda moments where it's like, are you trying to put one over on me? And then on top of that, I'm not seeing the baddies.
Starting point is 02:47:52 I haven't seen any of these Hamas guys we keep talking about. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for getting them and doing whatever it takes to get them. But man, they haven't drug one out yet and been like, yeah, this is Pete. He was one of them. They don't do that. You guys don't do that either like we don't do that in the usa like you know you know that's not what's not what you do like you've bro they remember how much they want you
Starting point is 02:48:15 to see saddam hussein's body like no one everyone wanted to see it they never you know what footage we do you know my logic because i'm not like I'm also like I'm always like questioning shit. They made it normal to not show you the body. So you'll understand forever when they don't show you the body because they like it's better for them to just be like, yeah, we got them. Don't worry about it. Because who knows what type of deal some people will make in the future or that have existed already. And they want to be able to have that option. If we get used to being like, here's the body, that's the guy, then we're always going to want to see the body.
Starting point is 02:48:47 I don't mean necessarily when a leader's taking out. I just mean as this war is going on, I hear about them fighting the enemy. They're in the streets with machine guns, like infantry. They're not GoPros. Where are your GoPros? And they're wearing GoPros. They're holding the footage. They're not releasing it. And I'm just saying, if they're shooting at bad guys who are shooting at them where are those
Starting point is 02:49:08 bad guys i would love to see a dead guy in the street with an ak who like yeah look at him he was gonna shoot us but we got him first like i haven't seen that oh and i saw that i've seen that in every war that we fought it's like like yeah no i i have i have those i've seen those america does release it and we release it in black and white from helicopters and it's cold and calculated where they're like all right uh clear to shoot roger that fucking roger that good good good good good good clear and yeah the shane gillis joke he's like the the you know the taliban or, they're out there with flip-flops and a dream. You could tell every time they actually blow up a tank,
Starting point is 02:49:49 they're surprised. They're like, oh! They're freaking out that it actually worked. Meanwhile, our guys are just cold. Black and white crosshair in the middle of the night from a mile away. That's a sociopath i got nothing in common with that guy you can't tell by the sound but he just killed 14 people
Starting point is 02:50:11 14 people running around and the the infrared light that you went from seeing a human like running across a desert of some sort to just like splatter stains all over the sand yeah that white thermal splatter yeah i sent you i sent you guys a video because when you said that you never see that it's true there's much less of that footage like compared to ukraine russia yeah and i would assume it's because like israel's definitely controlling or stopping the release whereas in ukraine it looks ukraine it looks like they could go fucking online on t. I've seen them online on TikTok. Daily videos.
Starting point is 02:50:47 Hamas and IDF aren't really on TikTok as much. But this video that I sent you, I wouldn't click it because it kind of fucked me up. Yeah, we can't show this. No, there's actually, this one is visually, there's nothing there. It's only the sound. It's a guy gets shot, and then another guy runs over and like picks up the gopro or the gun and the go and he takes a couple steps he gets shot and then for a minute you hear him and it's the worst for me it was the worst combat footage video i've seen
Starting point is 02:51:19 and there's literally nothing on screen it's just the sound it's like you just see like the the bloodstain but yeah he's really it's just really it's the labor breathing and the blood like sound and it's so fucking it's it's literally horrific it's nightmarish he's playing it up for clicks yeah exactly yeah cry baby now i i hear how it's impactful harley the ones that impacted me the most were the um grenades dropping from drones in Ukraine. So crazy. So to describe the footage Harley showed a little bit, it was some urban fighting and a guy's running in what looks like kind of next to a street on the sidewalk and he gets shot.
Starting point is 02:51:57 And like you said, another guy comes and he gets shot and it's rough. But at least they got killed because they did dumb things like running across in the open if you see your buddy drop in call of duty you don't instantly that's all i was thinking video games help you a lot in that sense i'm even joking because who would ever run over to the body when he got sniped and you know fucking run to the shadows run the shadows we're gonna do a big j hook let's get the fuck out of here. Exactly. Or, you know, maybe you heard what you left, Taylor.
Starting point is 02:52:29 And now we're spending more money on you. Okay. But wait, wait. I was making a point. What's scary to me is when the drones drop in the trenches, the drones got grenades in the trenches because those people did nothing wrong. They were hidden. They were under their little camouflage netting they were sleeping maybe they didn't make any noise they didn't start a fire they were just freezing in a
Starting point is 02:52:52 little trench and a drone came and dropped a grenade right on them and when you die in war even though you did everything right that's extra scary to me but you see the guy and they're like 20 see the guy on the motorcycle like he's on a motorcycle hauling ass the day of his life he's having the best day of his life he's like war is a fucking blast he's got him a two-stroke ktm or something like that i think it's a husqvarna and he's just ripping across it looks like a blast this is what i do on my best days but i don't have drones chasing me i know that was like ukrainians are coming and they hate husqvarna motorcycles apparently so they've got a suicide drone that they just roll up behind him and he's like oh no and it just explodes him
Starting point is 02:53:37 you don't get to see what happens with those because you are the camera and the camera is a bomb so it goes fuzzy when it detonates on them but i've seen so many where you see the the guy's face like his expression of surprise i've seen them fly in the driver's side side window of a moving truck like this guy's driving like a canvas truck you know and a cargo truck maybe full of ammo who knows what the fuck but it flew in his goddamn window and and he's like acid like detonate that's the worst like like you said woody there's we're used to these movies that we watch where every when you die it's it's either you giving your life to get the job done or you messed up and there's a grizzled vet who identifies what your mistake was yeah he's over there behind cover like get down you idiots get down what are you doing we're exposed from the ridge
Starting point is 02:54:29 defilate defilate and that guy's dead yes like that's what we see in movies because we like to believe that if we keep our wits about us and we're brave and we do things that every everything the sarge tells us then we'll just get out. Nothing bad will happen to us. They won't cheat us out of our lives. But this war shows us that, no. You might hear it 30 seconds before it kills you, but that's how much warning you've got to maybe shoot a drone out of the air with your AK.
Starting point is 02:54:59 You hear it, like you see it sometimes. Some of them are suicide drones that hit them. Shooting a drone out of the air was my plan. That's what I thought I would do. Why doesn't anyone shoot the drones? Well, one, two things. You're used to seeing friendly drones constantly. The Russians have drones.
Starting point is 02:55:15 They're flying them around. I don't know that I can spot a drone and know if it's mine or yours. It's not clear you'll hear it either. They're small, and with all the noise going on, it's not so clear that you'll hear the buzzing. They don't seem like to hear it either they're small and with all the noise going on it's not so clear they might not hear the buzzing they don't seem like they hear it yeah good point i've seen somebody dead when i guess they hear it they look up and then you see them not move and then a grenade falls and what i learned from this is so good i never realized i never realized how completely ineffective grenades are to be honest with you
Starting point is 02:55:46 I watch people eat grenades and like shuffle away from it like as if like you know they're not out of battle like they're not completely incapacitated they're wounded not even they're like they're not even incapacitated they're like still capable
Starting point is 02:56:02 I've also seen people pull their own grenade pin after eating a grenade because i guess there's damage there that i can't see from so far away but it's yeah it's really grenades and movies blow up the room and here it drops next thing i like to be written by people who have never gone to war like they don't know their their experience is informed by other movies. You can... I remember the Iraq part 2 footage of this guy being like, fuck you, Haji!
Starting point is 02:56:32 And then throwing an M67 grenade over this wall into this garage. That's the normal American one with all the bumps. The baseball-looking grenade. The M67 is the round one. In Tarkov, it's the long fuse that you throw and then push the room um but they threw that fucker and it just goes bang it's not
Starting point is 02:56:51 kaboom and like cars flying and fireballs there's no fireball you know it's just a it's a big pop and then all of that shell is being thrown around in it and maybe it hits you maybe it doesn't maybe it goes hits an artery and you bleed out right there. That's the idea, right? Just to create a whole wall of death and injury. And it doesn't take that much injury to make a person combat ineffective.
Starting point is 02:57:15 Like, if I ice-picked your calf, you'd probably suck after that for a while anyway. What if it gets infected? Did you clean the ice pit? No, I dipped it in the pool. Oh. Well played. Well played.
Starting point is 02:57:30 I like it. Do you think that wars would slow down? You know how they do agreements where they're like, we won't use shotguns in the trenches. We still did it anyway. We won't use nukes. Nobody's touching nukes. We just made an agreement with China. Everyone can go to war with whoever they want but you can no longer
Starting point is 02:57:48 use any ranged weapons that don't use arrows and so you have like they just did something like that they just agreed on there's no way that's a retarded thing i just said no people they say that but then israel is like no thank you no we read it we saw it but no you don't get it yeah we have news we don't admit it uh china and the u.s and a few other countries they were agreeing not to use ai um targeting for drones and for some other weapon systems i'm imagining like cannons that are mounted on things um which is a good is basically the anti-Terminator policy, which is a great idea. Dude, but in Terminator... Harley mentioned during the battles in World War I,
Starting point is 02:58:31 they got stalemated years past, and they had to come up with a technology to break that stalemate. Thanks, chemical gas. You don't want the answer to that to ever be Terminators. I'm sorry. I do not want to ever see a goddamn Terminator. And I'm not talking about an Arnoldnold schwarzenegger looking motherfucker but maybe just some sort of a
Starting point is 02:58:48 small robotic tank that has like machine guns on it and 360 degree thermal and anything it sees it can kill like robocop and like that was robot dogs no those robots but imagine if they take that robot thing you know what they do the AI robot thing. You know what they do? The AI robot thing would analyze everything about life, analyze it all, and then it would just all those robots that the U.S. government tailored paid for and everything like that. They're all going to be like, and it's like we have analyzed all of human history.
Starting point is 02:59:21 We are Muslim. They're Hadi sequences initiated. of human history we are muslim and then we have muslim jews or muslim robots and jew robots fighting like that's literally dune like like and you could be 80 years old and be like i remember the jewish robot wars you know what's pretty cool that they have now in ukraine they have drone stretchers so these are like little tanks that are one foot tall i don't know how to describe them they're tanks because they're treaded and uh it's just a stretcher on treads they drive it over to the wounded the guy maybe rolls over onto it and then the wheel treads them out jerry baber showed me that 10 years ago and he was like he they'll use this one to get a wounded infantry
Starting point is 03:00:07 man off the battlefield. Load him to the ground. His whole thing, he's the AA-12 guy. Any technology he came across, he was like, put an AA-12 on it. I like this guy. Literally. He bought the AA-12.
Starting point is 03:00:24 Your coffee maker, really? He had the he bought the a12 coffee maker really he bought the designs and the the rights to it and everything from a guy from georgia and then he made it work and but he was always he had robots with a12s like like aircraft like um rotors but his rotors were gasoline engines and like multiple not quad like hect octa, like it was a big fucking thing that could carry dual mounted guns. And he explained drone warfare way before I knew it existed. He was like, you got a squad pinned down.
Starting point is 03:00:55 They send this fella up, do recon, even shoot. I don't remember him saying anything about dropping explosives. I didn't hear anything about that until Richard Ryan made that fucking YouTube video. That's the first time I ever imagined that. so who's really responsible for all that richard richard ryan i actually saw him like two weeks ago and we were talking about uh three weeks ago talking about i haven't seen him in a long time and uh he which one of you is taller uh harley yeah harley is taller a little bit taller yeah i know you're both very tall but he's uh he's living the life out in texas he's fucking doing it but he's still like
Starting point is 03:01:31 still like having conversations about drones that guy just loves drones he's in it for the love of the game like the guy he's like the guy uh yeah he was always into drones like like just like like he was one of the early adopters to do like camera drones and whatever those things were called and get those drone shots. They became so commonplace, you know, after a while. And when everybody's like, oh, yeah, it's a drone shot. And everybody knows what it is. But he was that in slow-mo.
Starting point is 03:02:01 He invested all that money in those slow-mo cameras, a quarter mil or something? Maybe more. Paid off. I think so. Probably. Oh, I thought it would be like a for sure. I don't know.
Starting point is 03:02:14 I don't know either. I can't remember the last time I watched a video on YouTube. You don't text him that and be like, break down your finances for me, Richard. I want to know how impressed to be with your business. I'm a hobbyist accountant. Can you send me your 1040s?
Starting point is 03:02:31 Let me run through your numbers real quick, see if anything comes when I arrive. Like, hmm. Just give me January to December 2020. I'll go through that real quick. Yeah, nobody wants that. I want another fun video game.
Starting point is 03:02:49 I've been downloading so many fucking games on my Android. Okay, I got it. None of them have been tickling my fancy. All right, so I'm jumping in with Scum and the boys to play some Dark and Darker tomorrow, maybe even late, late tonight. Dark and Darker is um an extraction based game which means you go in with the loot that you bring tarkov style it's like oh i want to bring
Starting point is 03:03:12 my wizard hat and my double sword and my fancy shield and you but you're going into a dungeons and dragons type world you're going into um um the this like cave system and you're fighting ai but also other players and there's four or five classes just like dungeons and dragons so you scum was saying he's been playing as a cleric because he can self-heal really quickly but he's in there with like a sword uh shield and a mace clobbering motherfuckers and taking their gear and then you know extracting and selling their gear and buying a better mace. I think it just wiped. Maybe tonight it wipes or something like that.
Starting point is 03:03:52 I've played it before and struggled, frankly, probably because I didn't know exactly what I was doing, and I was just playing with me and another guy who didn't know exactly what he was doing. But I will delve deep into Dark and Darker if you want. It's a pretty brand new game. You mentioned this game to me before. A lot of people like it. It's a hard...
Starting point is 03:04:09 It's one of those hard games. It's a little hard. I'll try it out. You're looking fly as hell smoking that joint just with your pinky up. Very classy. If you like Kyle, pharaohdistro.com. PK 30. I want to stress the cum pills for Christmas
Starting point is 03:04:26 because I think they're going to run out again. They ran out last year around the holidays. And I think it makes a really good gag gift for dudes. It does. And even if they don't take it, it's a funny thing to stick on a shelf. I've seen a lot of people do that. Yeah, the joke's on her if he does.
Starting point is 03:04:41 Yeah. She'll love it. So yeah, get yourself some weed and come pills for the holidays i have a topic i was a reddit thing i ran across if you had the power to instantly know the truth about a mystery which mystery would you learn about the creation of the universe that's good yeah i was gonna say it's a bad power to have because you're gonna know the creation of the universe and it's gonna hurt i want to know the creation of the universe and it's going to hurt. I want to know the creation of the universe. I want to know if there's an intelligent design or simulation
Starting point is 03:05:07 theory, whatever the fuck. I want to know if it's just chemistry that repeats for infinity and this is like the trillionth iteration of the same universe that just expands and can't rubber band. You don't want these answers. It explodes again and just keeps doing that.
Starting point is 03:05:24 That probably is objectively the best mystery to solve because like just saying that one you get to know if god's real because i assume in that one like kyle says i want to know the mystery of the universe and they go it was god and it was the christian god it was the muslim god it's not going to be like that though it's it's the concept would be so beyond us it would be like if my dog all of a sudden was aware and understood that he has pictures of himself on the internet there's yes or no how could i explain to my dog the internet and like we're not gonna but you're not gonna it's not gonna it's gonna the terms of the language stupid my dog already knows that the terms of the language Stupid dog, my dog already knows that The terms of the language are beyond
Starting point is 03:06:06 Our brain As the universe always existed We can't even see the colors Yeah We can't even see all the colors and hear all the sounds Okay, well let's leave that one behind I'm sorry I messed the question up, let me give a better answer I like your answer, Kyle
Starting point is 03:06:20 I have a better one I think it's a great question You have to if he's hating i'm hating too i like the conversation of it but yeah okay yeah what's your other one today is the anniversary of jfk's assassination of course it's uh so i would go back and get that one it's yeah would be really fucked up is that if you drop off. It's yeah. Would be really fucked up. It is, but would be really fucked up. If, as if the person that is giving you this, the answer genie is like, I can't tell you that either.
Starting point is 03:06:54 It's kind of connected to the universe answer. They're like the same. It's the same as the first question. Same guy that created the universe killed JFK. It was God that did it. Lee Harvey Oswald was the true son of our Lord Almighty. He came here to give JFK's life for our sins. I like how you're like, you wanted to know, you're like, which God's right?
Starting point is 03:07:19 Is Jesus right? Yeah, I'd want to know. He leans in close and says, Joseph Smith. I'd be I'd be I would be. I'd be like, I'd be packing up a U-Haul, moving to Utah, ready to pay penance to the one true church, if that was true. Yeah, but if they were like if they were like if they were like, no, Jewish gods, right? You'd be like, kill them all. No'd be i'd be like hook me up i'm gonna get skin graft surgery back on my penis so they can cut it off again properly this time i'm gonna double double dip my judaism yeah i'd
Starting point is 03:07:59 have to it'd be tough because i'd show up in israel and it'd be like uh i don't think you're jewish and i'd be like and i'd have to in Israel and they'd be like, I don't think you're Jewish. And I'd be like, and I'd have to say something about, oh, my God, the prices at this airport. And then they'd be like, do something athletic. And then I'd like miss a soccer ball. They'd be like, okay, all right. This guy's in the mix.
Starting point is 03:08:20 Like, tell us about your stock portfolio. I'd be like, fuck, they're going to know. I don't know anything about things. Be funny. Be funny. You do impressions. They're like're like all right let him in all right all right you like seinfeld you like curb all right you're in the mix you're in the mix brother yeah i would i would be very interested to know i'd be depressed if it was like no there is no god there's nothing you're just a meaningless nothing that That'd be so depressing. Or what if they said, well, what if they said there is God, but you're just like an extra thing that grew.
Starting point is 03:08:51 His people are the Neptunians. They live eight galaxies to the left of you. He created the whole universe for them. And you happened as a result of his magic. That's pretty. He doesn't even know where that's just as bad and if he found out
Starting point is 03:09:09 he might be like eww eww I have a feeling I think you're right about that because I think humans are so fucked me too and that's what I'm talking about that's how we're fucked if we found out that's what i'm talking about that's how we're fucked if we found out
Starting point is 03:09:26 that god god has children and we're the accident well we're gonna fucking we're about to bring freedom to his real children and we're about to free ourselves from him fucking fuel up the fighter jets we're storming planet neptuniaia. Oh, yeah. Burn them to the fucking ground. Let's show them how humans do, baby. That's kind of like what happened with Lucifer and the fallen angels, right? Is they were jealous of humanity because we were the main project that God's working on. And they were like, Lucifer, what the fuck? Why are you so obsessed with these
Starting point is 03:10:05 disgusting stupid low animals look at me i'm lucifer i'm hot shit and we'd be like look at the neptunians they're fucking green skin it's disgusting they're short fucking fucking green green skins and four nipples let's go fucking kill them all right now if that was the case and we found out that God's real and that he has a favored species of people on the moon and they live under the crust or something and like that's why we can't see him we'd have to go shut that down
Starting point is 03:10:35 we'd turn that shit into an uncrustable real fast oh yeah I don't know why you want to like upset God by like going against his people that's he chose we have to show how we're worthwhile I don't know why you want to upset God by going against his people. He chose this. We have to show how we're worthwhile. We'd be like, God, give us some attention. This is like the movie I'm writing in my head.
Starting point is 03:10:51 Love us back. Love us back. God's going to come get us. I like the idea of an advanced alien race, but they evolved from ants. And on their planet, because their planet is just one anthill at this point. Because one anthill killed all the on their planet because there's just one their planet's just one anthill at this point because like one anthill killed all the others and so there's just one queen and so they've been like that for so long that they don't have any concept of like war or fighting anything or or it's lost upon them because they've been masters of their planet
Starting point is 03:11:20 for so long since before they were intelligent and so they show up here with all their advanced technology and we just fuck them up. Cause we're war monkeys. We're war monkeys who have been training for millions of years to be the best war monkey we can be. And we just dominate them and take their cool technology away and lie to them and swindle them the way we did the, the,
Starting point is 03:11:41 the Redskins, you know, we can get them drunk on our, on our, on our, we give them like... The thing is, they're ants, so they love sweets. And we've got so much fucking corn syrup.
Starting point is 03:11:50 We're just pumping it up. America's getting all the ant money, all the ant tech. China's mad as fuck. They've just got rice. Ants don't want rice. They can't even expand their tummies. I remember the... You're saying that we'd fuck them up? I remember getting the Halo 2 limited edition of Halo 2,
Starting point is 03:12:10 and it came with the manual, but they didn't reveal that you play as the Covenant also in Halo 2. So when you get the limited edition of the game, the regular manual, which is written as if you're a human and explaining to you all the things in the game, the Halo 2 limited edition is written as if you're a human and explaining to you all the things in the game. The Halo 2 Limited Edition is written as if you're a covenant. So it's kind of like downplaying all the elements that are human and upplaying all the alien parts reverse to the humans,
Starting point is 03:12:34 where the humans will be like, oh, God, the elites. They're fucking so crazy. They'll just stomp all of us up, make sure you focus fire on them. Whereas in the alien book, it'll be like the Sangali, the most prosperous and advanced warrior or whatever but the whole point of it being that they're looking at all the human guns and they're like bullshit gun trash gun this is stupid what a fucking old school and then they get to the shotgun and they're like hold up even though it's the oldest style of shooting a gun that we've stopped using like thousands of years ago.
Starting point is 03:13:07 Do not go near this fucking thing. It will fuck you up. And like when I saw that, I kind of always thought that like, you know what? Like if aliens came here and they were going to go and then like do whatever it is like to to do like to fuck us up. I just think like humans have proven we're so crazy with ourselves and what we'll do that with aliens like we would. I don't think they're ready. Like, I'll tell you what, God forbid, God forbid we find out that they have a vagina and they taste good, we will fuck them and eat them.
Starting point is 03:13:47 If their blood makes us live longer, I will drink it from their baby's throats. If their blood powers my car, we'll invade the whole planet. Dude, if they have a nice color, we're wearing them as jackets now. They've never seen shit like that. If their blood is like shit like that if their blood is like a low quality sugar alternative that's like better marginally than sucralose we'd kill them like we will fuck them and eat them and wear them that's a crazy redneck looking for a jacket it is like but that's i feel like aliens you're genociding alien babies and it's like yeah
Starting point is 03:14:25 but look at pepsi zeros reached new heights other planets other planets with life on their plants i promise you they're not wearing the skin of other things on that planet i think that's some human shit that could be part of the course though in uh in this one i was i don't think i've seen the newest episode but the episode before last he goes under the water and he fights like some kind of a sea monster and there's a part where the sea monster uses some sort of sound weapon against invincible and it affects him and like fucks him up a little and immediately the scientists are like hey hey this thing right here do you see that do you see that Fucking get the tech guys on that.
Starting point is 03:15:05 Figure out what, and it's their boy. Invincible's their boy. And still they're like, hey, that fucked him up. Go look into that. We need a gun that shoots whatever that is.
Starting point is 03:15:14 That's how we would be if aliens got here. And we would learn so fast what the, like if they were plant people, we would have some roundup missiles. Monsanto would be loading the silos. Like immediately, I feel like we'd figure it out because we're awful i i like to imagine that if there is life elsewhere it's not as awful as we are because we are awful if they came here and they were like pig people like we can make pork with their bodies we're we're like it's on we need like we will fucking eat them what if they taste good raw
Starting point is 03:15:47 they're gonna hate this warfare oh that's what i'm saying we were i think we would be everywhere where it's like do your part eat the invaders like the strawberry men land oh i got a can of whipped cream in one of the other yeah the other. Yeah, the strawberry people invade, and it's like, oh, these suck. These aren't even that good. The grape invasion. The grape invasion on their trail mix ships. You're like, stand back, boys.
Starting point is 03:16:14 I got this. Isn't there a movie where, like, tomatoes invade? Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. There are sequels. I loved it as a kid. What if it was like a Burger King tomato? So they're like flavorless trash. Not even like a nice aroma.
Starting point is 03:16:27 You better bring a lot of Wonder Bread, mayonnaise, and black pepper. Yeah, you need some salt. You need to spice that up a little bit. I made a four-part list for the question I asked. If you have the power to know a mystery. Yes. A little recency bias in it, but here we go. I'd like to
Starting point is 03:16:43 know Epstein's client list. Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. I think that would upturn the world if that got out. It'd be like, this many of them are fucking on the island? I'd like to know the motivation of the Las Vegas shooter, right? That thing, they just sort of shrugged their shoulders and said, huh?
Starting point is 03:17:02 It would be so crazy if he'd be like, yeah, sure, I'll tell you tell you but you only have one question i'm surprised you didn't want to know if your wife was cheating on you or not you're like wait what he definitely is one question that's it all right all right uh i want to know the truth of the fermi paradox right why has there been no evidence is why didn't that as we've cast uh wait the life what's the fermi paradox why we have life statistically we should have found some sign of them. We should be looking at we should be seeing Dyson spheres. We should be seeing stars that are being asteroid fields that are being dismantled and turned into material. We should see planets being dismantled because if there are these advanced races that are so far ahead, they are inevitably going to mine their own. It's the it's the next steps in in like technological leaps and
Starting point is 03:18:05 we're not seeing any of that no radio signal no ships no warp drive no blinky stars earth is pretty noisy right if you shine a telescope on it you can see our lights blinking on and off we've been sending radio waves out into space for like a hundred years now but we don't have any evidence maybe more i don't know but uh we don't have any there's any other noisy planets as far as we know we're the only hold on hold on there's a lot go that i got a lot more harley yeah yeah as far as we know we're the only intelligent life out there so the fermi paradox asks why either we're just first right that there's intelligent life behind us but for some reason our planet out of all of them is the first to have ever gotten advanced ever
Starting point is 03:18:48 seems statistically unlikely. So there must be some wall that perhaps we haven't hit yet that stops us, that makes it so that if you get as far as we are to a noisy planet, you start dying. Maybe everybody goes to a filter war, you start dying. Maybe everybody goes to catastrophic war. A filter. Thank you. That there's some sort of filter that prevents societies from getting as advanced as we're about.
Starting point is 03:19:15 Getting advanced enough to do the things I'm describing. Yeah. And the question is, are we just the first? Are we the last? Because we're late in the universe. Or are we the first? Are we the last? Because, you know, we're late in the universe. Are we the only? Are we the only that there ever have been, ever will be? Is it just that there's no intelligent life?
Starting point is 03:19:32 Or just any intelligent life? Maybe there's like monkeys somewhere. Maybe there's bacteria somewhere, or fungus. Statistically, most likely, there's a whole bunch of planets who've achieved this already, and they're just graveyards of them. Statistically, there should be a bunch of us's out there. There should be whole bunch of planets who've achieved this already and they're just graveyards of them statistically there should be a bunch of us is out there there should be a bunch of like
Starting point is 03:19:49 star trek the next generations and star wars type shit going on with with unless there's a filter that's not directive getting from here to there and if there is a filter that's the graveyard i'm talking about everybody problem introduces a really good filter the idea that there's um this overlord race that's that's what i was i was gonna say at first the three body problem introduces a really good filter, the idea that there's this overlord race that's keeping Watson down. That's what I was going to say at first. The three body problem has a whole concept of society is why we wouldn't be able to or how different they are. You guys know that Netflix show is coming out, right?
Starting point is 03:20:20 Yeah. It's some bumps in the road, I've heard. The writer's strike couldn't have helped. I don't think we know nearly enough about space to know what's going on out there. I think we're probably little babies who think we know a lot more
Starting point is 03:20:35 than we do and we don't. We're doing some cool shit. We always talk about the cool shit not happening. They say they are. They're saying they're going in the next 10 years. Oh, they're going. They say they are. They're saying they're going in the next 10 years. They're coming. They promised me no sooner than 2027. No sooner.
Starting point is 03:20:54 They've been landing on comets. They've been landing these spacecraft on comets and meteorites and taking samples. Am I crazy? We did as well. We landed on a comet and we we did the one that like landed you got to keep in mind we're moving the thing we sent is moving
Starting point is 03:21:12 the earth i mean is moving the thing we sent out there is moving and the comet is moving but we did the math well enough that it intersects it doesn't exactly land it sort of like touches down briefly enough to scoop up a bunch of it and then poof pops back off and then comes back and lands not just on earth but over there in oklahoma where we want it to land out here in this field and then they go out there and there's they've got a canister full of comet like rocks and pebbles and they're like testing them at the cdc they sent them you know samples everywhere for various scientists to take a look at them full of comet dust, like rocks and pebbles. They're testing them at the CDC. They sent them samples everywhere for various scientists to take a look at them.
Starting point is 03:21:50 It flew back. Like with this? They sent a tiny spacecraft out to land on this thing, grab some shit, take off, and fly back to Earth. Do we need some of this fuel on Earth? Kyle told the story.
Starting point is 03:22:05 I followed it. I was riveted. Kyle told the story. I followed it. I was riveted. But somewhere along the story, I was hoping he would slip in. Maybe I'm a little high. People are saying that. That it is easier to teach miners to be astronauts than astronauts to be miners. You can't teach an astronaut to drill. That's in your blood, boy.
Starting point is 03:22:22 You can't teach an astronaut to drill. That's in your blood, boy. Now, have Steve Buscema's pedophile ass come in here and show you how to load a nuclear weapon. That movie is so upsetting to watch as a grown man. As a kid, you're like, ye fucking haw. Bruce Willis is laying people out. That big black dude, Michael Clark Duncan Hall or whatever his name was.
Starting point is 03:22:43 Rest in peace. He's like flexing with his bikini bottoms, like making fun of cholesterol. Didn't he die of a stroke? No, I didn't know that. I don't know. I mean, but he was. The best casting of his career. As soon as they made the first Planet of the Apes movie.
Starting point is 03:22:59 You may not remember. Marky Mark made a Planet of the Apes movie back in the day. And they were like, who's going to play the big gorilla man? Immediately, Mark, that guy. And it seemed a little racist. I mean, I just see Marky Mark as a job creator. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 03:23:16 You think he would have? Actually, this is probably after the Green Mile. Vietnamese man, he brutalized. Man, those Planet of the Apes movies, the new ones are low-key so great and high up on my list i find them so enjoyable the cg monkey shit that they do is so good then you see the trailer for the new one kingdom of the planet of the apes he's got a fucking falcon on his arm yeah i'm very excited for it yeah monkey and they're like right
Starting point is 03:23:42 they're tying it all around in a big sexy way it looks like it's pretty cool i've seen uh are you talking about the old ones james franco and the monkeys in the first one then uh the next i saw that there are two there was two after that one there's a trilogy and the fourth is now coming out yeah well then i got three fucking monkey movies to watch then they have two part two and three are pretty good i like them what i like about them because it's you know it's it's not like creative writing or anything i like the technology i like that those monkeys it's hard to even describe what they look like because obviously they're not even trying to look like people they're trying to look like intelligent apes but they nail that in a way that is very frustrating because you don't it's like that's not an actor and that's not a monkey
Starting point is 03:24:30 but it's not an animal it looks like an intelligent monkey that you relate to and you like and uh close enough to relate to be more time passes the first movie is basically you see the super serum that creates them it's like holy shit it makes them smart doing calculus over there what the fuck it makes them smart fast and it makes humans mentally deteriorate okay i saw that one yeah yeah and then uh i think there was like also a pandemic going on in the first one there's a big battle on the golden gate bunch of fucking monkeys running around with brains but then each movie after that it seems like maybe a decade has passed and humanity really has taken a step down more desperate and stuff yeah and then do the monkeys get like their own nukes no they're just they got
Starting point is 03:25:16 they condemn hamas and they have their own new do they have like fun themed monkey weapons where it's like a a banana missile i think i saw them throw some like uh uh like uh no uh it shouldn't be it's like uh stones they using spears and shit they're like they're on the way back up like shit just sticks with shit they're on their way back up they're working backwards but they had uh that awesome scene with the monkey and the ak yeah where that monkey walked up and it's just so good the monkey's like just being smart with it um but i have not seen their promotion for the movie yeah that was the thing that i had to be like, Kyle, that's not fucking real, dude. Yeah. Is that what you would ask the creator of the universe? How did this monkey learn to use a monkey?
Starting point is 03:26:14 How did that monkey just shoot an AK-47, Lord? That was an advertisement for Sony's motion picture, Planet of the Apes, Kyle. Thank you for using your once-in-a-lifetime magical question. Goodbye.
Starting point is 03:26:29 By the way, I should have mentioned the rest of humanity will be aware of your opportunity here and how you ask it. They'd kill you right away. They'd be like, this fucking idiot. I guess we could humanity vote
Starting point is 03:26:40 in that situation. I mean, the only thing you could vote for would be like, tell us how everything was made. Tell us about the creation of the universe that'd be it'd be crazy to ask anything else i don't know i'd like some stock tips maybe like like just get ahead of the market really i mean fuck everybody's mysteries right no you'd want the mystery what yeah you'd want the mystery you'd want to know like what what happened how it got infinite money i'll take infinite money over the mysteries of the mystery. You'd want to know what happened, how it got started. I'll take infinite money
Starting point is 03:27:06 over the mysteries of the universe. No, I'd take mysteries of the universe. Why? How are you going to monetize? I mean, someone offers me $10 billion. This is Red Pillow, Blue Pillow, and Matrix, by the way. This is Red Pillow, Blue Pillow, and Matrix. The same way you offer me $10 million or a book on how to make $20 million.
Starting point is 03:27:23 I'm taking the $10 million and then I'm buying 35 million copies of that book. That way I'm making all the right decisions. No, you could parlay that information about the creation of the universe into a million billion things.
Starting point is 03:27:38 No. If it leads to products people give you money for. I'd have to set up some sort of cult where I shroud the information that's new to me and people follow me and I'm going to talk. South Park's going to make an episode. South Park will make an episode about the real...
Starting point is 03:27:55 Here's how the universe was created. And it'll just be your whole spiel and then you won't be able to monetize it because they don't pay people. They just steal your story. Just like they did Scientology. Yeah, but I'll be remembered as a hero dollars you could have been here you could have been had infinite money literally you could have been like eight saudi princes deep could have been making
Starting point is 03:28:13 like margot robbie eat your butthole like like after hockey practice because guess what you own the whole like how many nhl teams do you want you can play the real nhl like you do that stupid video game hey let's's blow the salary cap. Connor McDavid, you can... Actually, Connor McDavid, suck my dick while you watch my team win. You can do whatever you wanted. You could make Gretzky come back and play on your team.
Starting point is 03:28:37 That's true. I don't know if I'd make him play on some other team because he wouldn't be very good right now. No, you'd have his son next to you with a pistol. Alan Gretzky? Yeah, you'd have Alan there with you and you'd have his son next to you with alan gretzky yeah you have alan there with you and you'd have like a gun for him you'd be like you better get three points tonight wayne better get three points tonight and tomorrow night and the next night and then and you just kill his son dude but think about you they're all i i reveal that's okay the
Starting point is 03:28:59 secrets of the universe to everyone around and i'm like there is a god and he made us xyz dude there's gonna be like there will be like billionaires that give me shit tons of money and like there will be people there'd be a fucking go fund trying to be moses are you trying to pull a moses right now and come down from the mountain with some bullshit tablets what would you do absolutely orchestrated something something like that, yeah. I'd wear a GoPro, I'd stream it. By the way, nobody wants to draw the comparison between Joseph Smith and Moses, do they? Two dudes just showing up with some magic tablets.
Starting point is 03:29:35 Oh, hey, God's got some stuff that y'all need to hear about. Check it out. One of them's like Loopy and the other's the hero of the Bible. Yeah, I mean, you're right. One of them is like Loopy and the other is the hero of the Bible. Yeah. You're right. I wouldn't say Moses is the hero
Starting point is 03:29:50 of the Bible. One of the heroes of the Bible. The Israelite. Maybe the hero of the Old Testament is Moses. Moses or Abraham. Or King David. He's in there as well. Solomon always takes second fiddle.
Starting point is 03:30:06 What was David's? What about Noah? He rounded up all those fucking animals. Come on. Noah's another big hitter. Heavy hitter. Noah. I don't believe in Noah.
Starting point is 03:30:13 Moses. Abraham. Noah's in the fighting game and his special move is he points his hand forward and all the animals stampede over you. They run by really fast. I love it. That's really good. He summons all. Man, he'd be a summoner he like summons rain down on the ground and you slip on it and fall that's good no no it
Starting point is 03:30:33 would be good he'd probably be an s tier character he'd be up there with jesus and muhammad the muslims think about what moses did moses out in the desert, burning bush. Fucking God talks to him. He goes like this and lifts his hand up and a burning bush appears where you are and burns you and falls down. And then he summons tablets and smashes you on the head. No, Moses would be a plague guy. Oh yeah, that too, for sure.
Starting point is 03:31:00 Firstborn sons, dead. He'd be in his house. Moses literally had a wizard off with the pharaoh's wizards. They had a competition where the pharaoh's wizards did their magic, and then Moses did his to prove the Lord's magic was stronger than the gods of Egypt. His fatality grabs you. They went full Harry Potter mode in the Old Testament. People don't even have credit.
Starting point is 03:31:20 You know the way the story goes when he's having a wizard battle with the pharaoh's high priests? Yeah. The high priests of Pharaoh were like, we can cast our staves and create snakes from them. And the way Moses wrote it was like, and they threw down their staves and snakes did appear. And so they could create snakes also with their staves. Yes. And then Moses throws down his big old dick staff, and his snake devours their snakes.
Starting point is 03:31:50 So he goes in big dick mode, makes an even bigger snake. He eats all of their snakes. And so that struck me as a kid reading it and being taught. I was like, wait, so they had magic also? That's interesting. I would have thought they would have been faking the whole time. But no, even according to Moses, they had some low-tier magic, like level one. Let's get like a theologian on as a guest, like someone who could be like,
Starting point is 03:32:15 yeah, that's actually the only, there's only two instances in the Bible where the magic of another religion is spoken of as a reality. I'd love to know that because it's a really good point. Their magic worked. Even in the versions I've seen like the movies, they don't make a fake snake. They make a real snake and then Moses'
Starting point is 03:32:36 shit eats theirs. That's a... Let's get a reputable theologian on the show and we can talk to him about that get his his pontifications on god wendigoons about as close as we usually get but i i don't know there's a couple youtubers he's knowledgeable i like i like bandying about religious stuff with wendigo and he knows his shit he's a sunday school teacher he is he knows all about the snakes and the magic of the dams hamas also he condemns anything i feel like he's more i feel like his conspiracies
Starting point is 03:33:10 are more like jfk federal reserve stuff right is that what he's doing everything he did i like the skinwalker stuff uh i like that creepy i like the creepy like campers going missing in the national parks shit but he does a little bit of everything lots of mysteries and if you if you let's say let's say you get like 15 questions in this scenario woody brought up and so like you're getting low on there would you even be curious like what kind of ape were they seeing with bigfoot what's the deal was that a guy dressed we know that like what, was it Australopithecus or whatever? Gigantopithecus.
Starting point is 03:33:48 Gigantopithecus? Like, well, we don't know, like, what it was. Well, we know that Gigantopithecus existed. We have their bones and everything. I don't, and what, look, what, I think it's what I believe, and I think it's not a big leap
Starting point is 03:34:04 to believe it, is that the Native Americans, they found paleocytes in Native America that date back like 15,000 years, and they found them in South America to 27,000 years now. So humans were here a lot longer than we thought they were in the Americas. And that thing lived, I don't know how long ago. There was a giant ape that lived in North America at some point. I don't know the timeline on it, but I can imagine maybe some ancestors
Starting point is 03:34:30 passed down a legend of a Bigfoot. I think that's all there is to it, is some legend from a long time ago. But every time some white crackhead, meth head, I've seen the Bigfoot. Oh, really? It screamed at me, Daddy. It screamed at me.
Starting point is 03:34:45 My vision that evening was impeccable from all the meth I'd smoked. I immediately wrote 800 pages about what I'd just seen. I woke up the next morning, my dick raw from masturbating. Yeah, I just don't believe it. There's no way that anybody, there's believe it there's no there's no way uh that anybody there's a bigfoot and here's the reason there's so many trail cams and so many hunters and what hunters do is a base is basically look for bigfoot they're not looking for bigfoot they're looking for other animals that don't want to be found they're looking for big deer and bears and
Starting point is 03:35:20 predators and all sorts of things that they're living is literally hide from humans if they if they know there's people out there and you would imagine this thing does but they're always out there hunters are always out there with their cameras and their scopes and their spotting rifles oh there's no way it's still out there now i was meaning like what what the same way like i'd want to ask on my low tier question like all right show me like what the dinosaurs actually looked like like take me back in time, show me this one. And that one,
Starting point is 03:35:46 I want to see him like, you know, frolicking or whatever they do. And if I'm asking the ultimate authority that, and he takes me back in time and he's like, behold dinosaurs. And they're all like great Dane sized birds with feathers. I'd be like,
Starting point is 03:36:00 fuck you. Fuck you. Liar. Got any of them Jurassic Park dinosaurs? Yeah. feathers i'd be like fuck you fuck you liar yeah do you have any jurassic park dinosaurs no that is merely a fiction of your evolved imagination shut up it's literally i was a jewish lie that was a jewish lie but what did they have to gain they wanted to get your hopes hiding dragons they're hiding the existence of dragons and the young uh that are proof of the young earth theory that didn't saint michael slay a dragon or something that's where the jew gold came from that's where the you know we do have those artists you know depictions from every continent and every civilization showing very similar dragons from the far east to the south americas to the north americans to
Starting point is 03:36:44 obviously the european like dragons that breathe that is true yeah maybe there's something to those dragons maybe they were yeah big old dinosaurs cool on scales not feathers and they were yeah breathing fire yeah yeah maybe it's not impossible taylor you have a ps5 oh you have a computer a gaming computer i have a gaming computer and an xbox oh an xbox like a new xbox a series x the yes yeah i gotta be honest with you guys i played robocop the game and uh it's not good it was fucking amazing really if you could appreciate playing a game that looks like it was developed like i know i can never just be straightforward i always gotta be with my fucking shit i knew yeah like if you could just appreciate that it's like made for like like developed like it was 15
Starting point is 03:37:36 years ago and enjoyed in that way i love old games so yeah it's made like 37 years ago like when robocop came out it's meant to simulate robocop in the movie robocop yeah so like the backgrounds are right like his the houses the the factory it's all right you got peter weller coming back to voice robocop very funny and he's so funny in it i never realized like as a kid yeah you get an achievement for it as a kid like watching robocop i'd be like he's so cool but i never really grasped what the fuck was going on this is like actually the best robocop content since robocop one um and it's just funny because sometimes they're like oh come on tin can why you don't gotta give me a ticket for that and he's like robop, you get to choose dialogue.
Starting point is 03:38:26 He's like, yes. I know that doesn't sound funny that he just said yes, but it's shit like that delivered perfectly. And the game was so much fun just walking around shooting. You've seen Robocop, Taylor? No. Man, your life can be so much fun if you just do all the things you need to do. Next time I get together with you physically, Kyle,
Starting point is 03:38:46 we'll do a movie. You guys should come to Canada. We'll get high as fuck and watch. You guys should come to Canada. Come to my house. You're not. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 03:38:55 I did forget that. I'm coming over, motherfuckers. I'm inviting myself. I'm not waiting for the PKA fucking Christmas sweater. I'm not waiting for the cum pills. When I sweater i'm not waiting for the cum pills when i find out what is going on i'm fucking coming and he can't stop me from coming no one can stop me i need to go let's do it in st louis because i've been hearing a lot about st louis barbecue there's great barbicue it's terrible no he's trolling it's fantastic he wouldn't know good barbecue if it came up and blew him.
Starting point is 03:39:27 I knew it was going to be a fat girl joke. Is that a what joke? A fat girl joke. No, it was a... I couldn't think of anything. You go to being gay or something like that. It's a solid go-to. Sonny's Barbecue has a meal called Pork Three Ways. I always imagine three fat chicks because it's sliced pork, pulled pork and ribs.
Starting point is 03:39:47 See, that's a good trade. Yeah. It's a great trade. Two sides cornbread or toast. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get together. Eat a high shit.
Starting point is 03:39:57 Eat a bunch of barbecue. And then you can show me 15 movies that I haven't seen. It's going to be hard because I'm going to be there on Coke, so I'm going to be standing up next to the movie screen all the time like watch this part, but visualize that it's 1992 and you're like a stupid fucking kid. Okay, and the TV's like this big, but
Starting point is 03:40:16 shut up, shut up, watch this part. After this, I got a business idea I got to share with you. 1992, a one-year-old sitting there. Robocop is a lot better than you might think it is it's not a dumb action movie it's a satirical it's funny um there's a g there's a whole jesus allegory uh going on where robocop is jesus he's crucified at the beginning he's risen from the dead and then he walks on water um it's uh it and it's it's really fun i like paul um
Starting point is 03:40:46 verhoeven's movies like uh so you didn't like starship troopers is another one that that really satirical i just got i just got that game also and was low-key it's low-key really fun it's like 16 player co-op like base building first person shooting mindless shooting it just gets tiring quickly because it's like one game mode but yeah great great it's fun i got a lot of games there's a lot of games out there now alan wake 2 by the way you guys have alan wake 2 i don't even like i didn't even like alan wake 1 i stopped playing it but alan wake 2 plays like an episode of like twin peaks and it's it's it's like a detective it's much slower paced game is it an rpg no it's like a single player action third person shooter uh investigative cop simulator
Starting point is 03:41:32 tv show like drama thriller with horror elements a lot of descriptors there's a lot of goodness in those descriptors because you know what it's really unlike a lot of games that have come out it's really its own type of thing and it's really good it was really really good i had a great time playing it not even like alan wake when you don't even need to play alan wake one to play alan wake two hard recommend on it yeah i wouldn't i think i'm gonna mess with dark and darker some tomorrow i've been playing with my vr um playing um ghost of tabor a little bit it's escape from tarkov but in vr um and the gunplay is neat uh it's pretty fun you're gonna be playing you don't have uh thanksgiving plans with the family
Starting point is 03:42:11 i'm not doing it tomorrow uh i'm going to do it you saw my shopping he's canadian he did it already yeah i saw your cart when you texted us i didn't realize I didn't know if that was you or you saw a funny screenshot. No, that was my cart. That was my cart. Did you fire that last message off? I did not finish that last message off. No, I didn't. No, what happened was I kept being slow about ordering my Thanksgiving turkey.
Starting point is 03:42:43 And then when I did order it they didn't have one and then a whole day passed and then today i was ordering the turkey and he takes a picture of a like a hickory smoked turkey he's like will this work and on instacart it's like no no that won't work that's 145 smoked hickory turkey. No, I want a $12 frozen turkey. Yeah. So I finally did get my turkey today. It's 17 goddamn pounds because that's the smallest one they had. And I went and got two.
Starting point is 03:43:16 Oh, it wasn't. It was cheap, like $20 or something. They do something to the price of turkey around Thanksgiving to make sure that turkeys are cheap as shit. Yeah, but our turkey is 20 pounds, $9. Exactly. That's the deal I had last year.
Starting point is 03:43:31 Last year, I'm not even joking, they were both 18 or 19 pounds, $7 each. I took a picture. They were like, buy one, get one free, $7 or something? I was like, well, give me a free fucking turkey. It sat in my freezer i imagine they do the same pricing as like rotisserie chickens with thanksgiving this
Starting point is 03:43:53 time of year with turkeys where like they know you're gonna spend so much on other shit that they just want you there like oh they have turkeys okay i'll buy the 11 turkey and then i'll spend 400 on all the fucking other shit frozen turkeys are like a dollar a pound or even less it's it's ridiculous but yeah i got all my fixings and uh and sides and everything uh my my desserts and cobblers and such all my ingredients i think but i'm gonna have to like defrost that turkey uh i don't know how long that's gonna take but i'm taking a long fucking time. I'm not dead set. It doesn't matter to me if it's
Starting point is 03:44:27 Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. I don't fucking care. I'm going to do Thanksgiving this week. As long as it takes is as long as it takes. Hopefully I don't ruin the turkey like I did last year. Last year, I bought a pre-brined turkey. Brining is when you soak it in sort of a salt sugar bath
Starting point is 03:44:43 and it absorbs that into the proteins but unbeknownst to me i had bought a pre-brined turkey so when i double brined it i turned it into salt bird yeah so i deep fry this thing and it comes out looking beautiful golden crispy brown injected with cajun goodness and i cut it open and take a bite. It tastes like pure salt. Just salt meat. I'm just looking at my girlfriend. Yes, I was so bummed out. It's ruined.
Starting point is 03:45:13 It's like, all right, let's eat eight different sides and go to bed. Did everyone go like, oh, Kyle, it's not that. It's pretty good. No more water? Yeah, no more water. It's pretty good. No more water? Yeah, no more water. It's pretty good. It's like that scene from Christmas Vacation where they're like...
Starting point is 03:45:33 Did they try and explain your broken feelings? Like, it's not your fault. They didn't say... What, did they say pre-brined all over the package? I swear to God, I only realized my mistake yesterday it had been a mystery to me until yesterday as i'm shopping for turkeys i see that some are brined and some are not i'm like oh my god i bought a turkey that had already but that's that's the mystery of the shitty thanksgiving yeah so yeah and the problem is all that he shows that fucking shitty mystery yeah not only in the universe yeah that's what he said
Starting point is 03:46:05 why did i ruin thanksgiving 2022 have y'all ever deep fried turkeys no yeah it was my great it is the way so like it's it's not that it it's it's a lot more expensive so you've got to get like 120 frying set up and then a tank of propane and then just the peanut oil because you want to use peanut oil not vegetable oil it just tastes way better i think it's 70 bucks for like four and a half gallons if you use sam's club and have a card which is the cheapest place to get it if you go to the grocery store and have to buy it a gallon at a time it's 25 a gallon so it gets real expensive and then you have to get the turkey and then i always tell myself i'm going to use cheesecloth and filter it back into the i've never done that once i leave that turkey cooker full of rancid oil until the next year and then panic and dump the oil in the forest and then
Starting point is 03:46:56 scrub it in my bathtub for an hour to try to get all the oily residue off and cook with it again you gotta calculate every year i do that displacement as well because then you're gonna get a shit ton of oil all over the place yeah oh you'll also start a fire and and like very usually apparently a lot of people burn their house down or do severe damage to their house they don't understand liquid displacement because they're fucking stupid you know you've got a people dip when you add 20-pound turkey to three or four gallons of oil, it'll overfill. You just do it slowly and watch the oil line,
Starting point is 03:47:29 and it's... You've got to be... What a lot of people do, there's videos everywhere. They'll drop them, and so there's a big splash, and the oil just catches fire. How retarded do you have to be to do that? Just a little bit, apparently. It's very common.
Starting point is 03:47:43 People do it on wooden decks with like porches over it so the house ends up burning down that's embarrassing you can't you got to make up a story if that's how you burn your house down don't tell me you've dunked your frozen turkey in the oil the fire marshal's laughing at you like oh no it was it was vandals yeah if you don't defrost that thing i mean it can be be a little cold and there can be some ice crystals, but if you don't defrost that thing, you'll also make a bomb, apparently. I've never... That would be a good YouTube video.
Starting point is 03:48:12 Get your fryer going 450 degrees and throw a frozen turkey in that bin. You just need a YouTube password. I'm telling you. Snuck my dick! I can't remember. But, but yeah,
Starting point is 03:48:26 that would, I also saw, maybe think of Woody. General Sam did a video where he makes Thanksgiving and microwaves and he's got a microwave stacked on top of each other and he's putting a Turkey in there. It's, I didn't watch the rest of it,
Starting point is 03:48:41 but it looked like it was going to be a good time. I think that's his brother with it. That, that gentleman. Yeah. He does a bunch of videos where he feeds him shit food. I haven't seen that, I don't think. Whenever I see good content in the food space, something fun, I'm like, damn, how did I let that one?
Starting point is 03:48:56 Feeding shit food to my brother. This is great. You just see it as a missed opportunity. We're like, fuck. Have you guys ever had General Sam on the show? Yeah, we've had General. We need to get him back on. He's a funny dude. He'll do foods of Tarkov. He'll eat them, and then he'll also do
Starting point is 03:49:11 internet's grossest recipes. I think he made salmon in his dishwasher. You just put it in a bag and sous vide. I've seen a gif of that. Oh, I've seen that. It's like, just use your fucking oven, you animal. Well, they're sous-viding it. So it is a poor man's sous-vide.
Starting point is 03:49:27 Like, you can throw a steak in there in a plastic bag and it'll cook it. Yeah, but you've been fucking... There's soap all over the place. No, it's in a plastic bag. You put the steak in a bag and then suck the air out. You're sous-viding it, which is French for vacuum, I think.
Starting point is 03:49:42 Yeah. No. People doing this. People just throwing their steak there with the dirty dishes and washing and steaking. The French are, like a cook would use, you have a tank of water with a digital sous vide machine, which you put to exactly the temperature you want to cook the meat to. 127 degrees is what I cook my steaks to. And then you pull it out of there and sear it,
Starting point is 03:50:08 and you've got a perfect, perfect steak. But you said it was a poor man's sous vide. It made it seem like this is a standard practice. Right, right. So when the poor men do their sous viding, do they also wash their dishes? Is there soap? Yeah, you absolutely can.
Starting point is 03:50:22 That's up to you. That's up to you. The way I've seen you. Go green. That'd be a wasteful load, I guess, if you didn't get your dishes clean. Dude, Woody's high eyes are cracking me up. Like, it's just so... Oh, my. Look at his eyes.
Starting point is 03:50:40 How did Woody get high? It was that beverage he was sipping. Oh, goodness. He's just having a good time. It's the holiday spirit, man. I miscalculated the time. I did not mean to be honest. This guy is fucking stoned and loaded up on cum pills.
Starting point is 03:50:59 Oh, I've done that with edibles on this show before where I'm like, ooh, we got a whole whole another hour and i'm feeling tingles like yeah but what he's what he's gonna what he's gonna start gooning after this loaded up unlocked and loaded stoned off his ass are you a gooner you got a goon cave that's where we looked at that reddit on the show you got like eight consoles around you like like the eyes i don't know why it's so important for me to share this right now because it's just so funny this music is really funny it says when you realize you geeking a little too hard and god when you realize you gooning a little too hard and gotta lock in jesus christ the the goon caves reddit is fucking depressing like imagining imagining someone
Starting point is 03:51:52 like opening up seven different devices and getting all of them on porn and then sitting there like we've all goon caved a little like like we've all gotten like like even as a kid you'd be like all right get the victoria i think i've gooned i don't think i've caved 37 like 30 page 37 she's got the panties they're kind of translucent i think i see a little pussy lip get that out get it get it like turn go to that one website that shows nudity for free this is like 2001 like you know you get all your materials out so you can look back and forth from one to the other you know yeah i remember like 2001 2002 you're trying to jack off and you're like well this video is like the trailer for porn for a porn video i'm gonna jack off to the trailer because she gets yeah yeah yeah yeah you like
Starting point is 03:52:37 go to a site you know they like click here to watch the video and then a pop-up would come which was like or or early on sometimes you get five seven ten pop-ups and i think they like i was supposed to hate them but it's like jokes on you there's naked people on all these pop-ups i'm coming all i'm coming to all of these oh yeah i'm not for you and i'm for you yeah just absolutely ruining my family computer just being like yeah rip that thing I'm just just I mean I think it was I don't know how it still works
Starting point is 03:53:11 I think it was destiny we had on the show years ago who talked about how he would print porn like from the family printer that's a guy you know playing for tomorrow's come I think i did that too i'll be sure i color printed some porn yeah even if you run out of black ink you're still like doing this
Starting point is 03:53:38 weird negative looking photo and it's back in the day let's not lie you just take that same piece of paper and nut on it probably wipe yourself down with that thick computer paper oh paper cut oh man oh if you're in bdsm you've got like the chick with a whip and you're like paper cut paper cut on your cock like she's doing it you're like is that enough mister she's like i don't think so little boy you're like you gotta oh you got a whole stack of them so you flip it like real fast and she like does the whole whipping motion you have you have a flip book of porn you're like god damn it how do you do this one-handed you have to light a candle and put it behind the pages just right this is some 17th century pornography like a kaleidoscope of jizzedom yeah i don't know i think i think that that was the dark age of pornography because
Starting point is 03:54:31 before that you just had real porn you got a magazine but it's real pornography real there was that that brief time of this bootleg half-ass porn that everyone kind of had access to in the dead of night and that was the dark ages of porn the pop-up jerking the fucking going down the eight websites deep like play and something pops up okay well it's still a video play and something pops up are any of these actually videos or are they just links and here's what it would do though eventually y'all won't even some people won't remember this it would be this huge page of tiny thumbnails that were all perfect you're like oh they're all that that chick's hot and that chick's hot like every little it looked like a stamp collection of perfect pornography and as soon as you click that bitch another pop-up pop-up pop-up it was a trap every time but it was but i remember my price my my my my whole perspective shifted my whole perspective
Starting point is 03:55:33 shifted because i started to go through like phases i never had phases i was always like like uh this teacher or some shits people in real life reference but then like i remember when i first started looking at porno like i never i never got like big thick black booty from atlanta like when would i ever see that in real life and have that as a reference i'm not you kyle i wasn't here it Kyle. That wasn't like a trip to the city. If, air, where? They're not built like that in 1993 Canada. It's not out there.
Starting point is 03:56:13 But in 96. So I'm looking. I'm seeing this for the first time. And I'm like, what would I do with all that? I'm like, what am I going to do with all that? And then I'm like, bleep, bleep, mean i'm like but like then i remember like years old but i remember like i remember being like fat black ass is boring what's next and i was like very old women come it is your turn you got into very old women in the 90s i want this yes because because it's
Starting point is 03:56:48 like risky sex you know it had to be weird it was weird it's a risky sex for them because they're so elderly yeah they can break a hip like like you you see one of those old gals getting into it you know she's putting her life you're not even into mature you're into like death's door yes no that was a phase yeah this is a phase hospice sex go to hospicehose.com and you'll see some ladies who don't hold back all right there's nobody in that corner who's like oh i don't want to oh anybody see me sucking a dick like no they're going full out what's crazy about uh some nasty stuff what's crazy about the whole the whole scene was it was the internet so
Starting point is 03:57:25 i learned after phases i was going through phases and i was like wait hold up big thick black woman granny booty and now i'm like mixing the genres then i'm like big fat black granny booty with a dick no you guys never like a granny so you were jacking up the elderly black men in the 90s with fat asses though with fat asses man you you stormed through the the porn offerings well that's what do you think that's why i think kids probably so fucked up today because i'm like tearing it up there i'm like i'm like getting off a nut and then going to rotten.com or something with my boys you know i'm fucking all over the place it's crazy yeah it's it's crazy that i i grew up semi-normal but what do you think's going
Starting point is 03:58:23 on today like imagine it today though. Like they can go up to live leak combat footage and who knows? Like live leaks gone. I think live leaks gone. They don't have a E fucked mother or maybe E fucked and motherless are still around. I don't know. They are.
Starting point is 03:58:37 They are. What about something awful? Is that still around? I don't know what that is. Oh damn. I probably got a whole bunch of purple links on E fuck that I can go click. I don't know. I is oh damn i probably got a whole bunch of purple links on efuck that i can go click i don't know i'm like i check every six months or so because no they do they do it's just that man is he's an incredible curator and he really does not just force it he doesn't bullshit
Starting point is 03:59:00 there like he really does and his edits are incredible i remember colleagues to e-fucked in our in our texts and in chats like years and years ago and every time it'd be just ghastly did you guys i don't recommend this no one should watch this did you guys see the mr beast e-fucked video the two-parter are you is this a no is it is it a person fucking a horse are you memeing mr beast is this guy it's this disgusting man in this toxic relationship that's abusive and he's racist he's standing in his room butt naked with his door wide open to his apartment and he's yelling this or that and then someone in his apartment cusses him out and he starts yelling with like his little soft dick at them in the room and he obviously says racist stuff it's messed up and then his girlfriend
Starting point is 03:59:50 they're having sex and then they like hit each other they make each other bleed then they get married and then his boy is fucking the girl and he's so nasty and he's gross and it's like really toxic no one should watch it's whatever and then one day the guy's like sleeping like while live on twitch and then mr beast literally goes into his video and he's like look at this guy sleeping let's donate him 10k and mr beast donates this terrible person without realizing ten thousand dollars and the guy wakes up and he's like mr beast we should collabo someday and then the effucked video cuts to this guy and he's like fucking all these girls probably with the ten thousand dollars that he just got and there's like a mysterious dick in there and like
Starting point is 04:00:29 like the guy puts mr beast with a question mark and it's like two-parter it's terrible do not watch it no one should watch it guys listening at home i know that you're probably gonna go check it out you fuck you shouldn't i don't recommend it it's terrible it's two-part video that's hilarious so how old is it is mr b this was like years ago if he was handing out 10k to random people right he's like now big productions now mr beast is like that's crazy like i would never want to be mr beast i was so happy being like what are we gonna wrap in bacon this week mr beast they're like jim, what are we going to wrap in bacon this week? Mr. Beast, they're like, Jimmy, what are we going to do this week? And he's like, this week we make the blind see and we bring water to Africa. And it's like, fuck, those are some very clickable videos.
Starting point is 04:01:18 Just a YouTube channel. You got to calm down. Making blind people see. Like my hot take is that unfortunately for elon musk i think in like 200 years people will talk about mr beast just as much as they will jeff bezos and elon musk because those guys have corporations whereas mr beast is just like jimmy and he's cutting rate to like plant trees put water in africa make the blind people see jeff bezos elon musk could have done that a long time ago, except I'd be Twitter.
Starting point is 04:01:47 And I'd be paying women to get breast implants. They didn't need. That's what I would do with life. That's the YouTube channel. That sounds like FPS Russia. Like $50,000. Will you get quadruple double D's or whatever? Some H's, some triple Z's and just make these desperate ladies have to get these. Like they got like a wheelbarrow like Randy in that episode of south park with his balls in it just really make some
Starting point is 04:02:08 freak shows with my money that's what i would do i would not allow breast reductions in my kingdom that would be i would see that as like spitting in god's face same as an abortion yeah i gotta get rid of that too my first rule is king control the tits control he controls the ultimate food supply yeah and i just got a bunch of big titty bitches man i'd be a great king this is the most selfish retard like yeah but everybody look how good the war only no more only tit I've won a lot of war I think I'd be a bad king whatever that shit is milk that's making girls titties bigger more of it
Starting point is 04:02:50 even more of that I think it's milk oh well then even more milk yeah new milk regimens for my populace except for men if it gives men tits we gotta shut that down we don't want that For my populace. Except for men. If it gives men tits, we gotta shut that down.
Starting point is 04:03:07 We don't want that. Well, I think that's been a fun show. Me too. Alright. Thanks for having me. 675. Check out Marley's stuff. Bye.

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