Painkiller Already - PKA 680 W/ Slush: Kyle’s New Dog, Donald Trump Diapers, Making Kids Cry

Episode Date: December 30, 2023

pka 3 680 don't know my numbers but our guest slush puppy frequently requested taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro.com lock and load and blue chew a bunch of wonderful sponsors talk more about them later slush how was your christmas get any wonderful gifts just golf balls everyone gives me golf balls because i keep losing them and i think they're just mocking me now. Not super exciting, though. Just a little bit of family stuff and time off because the talk of wipe always happens around Christmas, so it's

pretty much just, I'll just stand around with my cock in my hands waiting for Nikita to make up his fucking mind when he's going to wipe the game. I couldn't believe you were here tonight. Taylor asked this. I'm scab running right now. No, I don't know. Did the wipe happen? it's the biggest what i've been playing the game for five years you've probably played it longer but it this is probably it's massive two most uh uh impactful

wipes ever they added shifting the weapon from your right hand to your left hand so they added a whole new armor system recoil system different game new maps the recoil and armor system just feel like the game is completely different it's not just like because they've done like recoil stuff before and they're like oh it will just lower everything it just feels like a completely new system so the game is just completely different now complete you know where every blade of grass is in that game you the guy that discovered the loose ammo in the grass on woods by the rock isn't that you uh i'd probably not me i'm not that attentive maybe i'm mistaken i don't know they've changed maps like like maps like shoreline the thing is i'm just surprised at your ear i figured you'd be deep in the grind because when

i skip well you guys i skipped the last one because i i was traveling and i was like oh i'm not gonna be able to get a good internet connection i was in the middle of fucking arizona somewhere and i was like oh i feel bad guys asked i'm here i've uh we appreciate it i don't have enough blame if you if someone blows you off twice you know you're just like well fuck you you know i can't say that that's funny that you can come to us just fine from tasmania and you're like arizona those fucking hoodlums they got nothing going on out there when you when you travel with a i swear it's like you travel with a fine you try and get reception on that phone it's just fucked everywhere like you need to have like a homegrown phone in

america or something like they put something in the fucking chips. I didn't know that's how it worked. For some reason, I live in the greatest country on Earth. I want the rest of the world to cater to me. It's alright when you go to Japan, though. I think I just have Japanese chips in my phone and they just agree with the Japanese networks. But when I go to America,

I can't get reception anyway. You are comparing a very tiny island that probably has concentrated radio towers everywhere to the wilderness of Arizona. Yeah. Dude, there's a shit ton of people in Arizona, though. It's like a sleeper state as far as how many people live there.

Really? Where are they? In terms of state population, what do you think it is? 9th? 7th? 23rd. I bet it's 14th. 14th. Zach, quickly, what is the holdup What do you think it is? Ninth? Seventh? Twenty-third. I bet it's fourteenth. Fourteenth. Zach, quickly, what is the holdup? It's been one second.

You look like you were Googling that. Yeah, I'm going to say fourteenth. Because I got like... No. Oh, I thought you just looked it up. Seven million, four hundred and thirty-one thousand. Holy shit, it's 14th. Really? What? Did you say 14th?

Yes, I did. That's big. We gotta do trivia tonight. We gotta do trivia tonight so I can just tee off another home run derby for me. I am the holder of the cum cup. Dude, I love

barely winning trivia and talking about it as though I'm like Wayne Gretzky. You're on a losing streak. It is. It's true. But the cum cup doesn't count. That was made up. There was rigging going on. You don't know this, Slush.

They rigged it. 100% rigged. The 2023 cum cup was rigged. Except there's evidence for this one. Huge amounts of evidence but so you got golf balls for christmas because you're just a golfer now yeah that's i now i've started playing taco again i haven't really ever played that much because i've just been fucking streaming non-stop so i'm now i'm just shit at golf again i was always shit now i'm just shitter so it probably

will take me ages to lose them. That sucks because if you got slightly better, you probably had that as your new expectation. Because I know lots of people who get better at golf. Yeah. Like have this new like anchor point of this is the kind of golfer I am. And then they take six months off and go back. And now they're having 0% fun.

Because I guess golf. Streamer mate, RedObs, and he plays off, I think, a 6 handicap or maybe a 5 at the moment. And he's taken a couple of months off streaming and stuff like that. And he's like, I just don't want to go back because if I go into a comp,

I'm just going to get fucking destroyed. You need to go to a new course. Yeah, exactly. You just never talk to anyone at your old course ever again. You treat it like a breakup. You just never get all your friends i never consider that about golf like when when you hear someone say yeah yeah i shoot i six handicap golfer i think oh my god like you're a semi-pro basically but those are the guys who are at their same course every weekend

playing 18 holes for 10 fucking years they know the slope of everything even more than that speed of everything meanwhile you got pros who just bounce around the globe doing that yeah yeah the funny thing is like a six handicap is is so is so shit compared to the pros like the guys that are on the on the corn fairy tour i watched the Korn Ferry tours and there was five guys that shot 12 under in 18 holes and then didn't even qualify. That wasn't good enough. That's insane.

That's how fucking good they have to be. And we're like, oh yeah, I shot a 90. I'm fucking bowling. Oh yeah. If I'm like, if I ever shoot a bogey, I'm like, damn, this was a good hole. Bogey is a birdie for me. Boge ever shoot a bogey, I'm like, damn, this was a good hole. Bogey is a birdie for me.

Bogey is a big? A par, I basically consider a hole in one. I'm a notorious... I use the old hand wedge sometimes. I knock it too far into the rough and I'm just, toss it out. Give me a gentleman's 30 yards back to the middle of the fairway

and then I can try it again. Taylor's training, you're just learning to throw the golf ball farther and farther. Genuinely, I played 36 holes of golf for like a family thing over the course of two days, probably four months ago now. It was a lot of golf. And every time I'd hit it off the tee box, and it was a scramble. So like you're using every, there's four people in our group, we're using the best persons.

Every time I would hit it and it wouldn't go in the rough and it would like land on the fairway, it was like, oh, you're getting the hang of this now, man. Like you're good. You're good. I would get more nervous having to hit my next shot off the fairway because I got so accustomed to hitting it like deep in the rough. And then on that second rough shot, I'm like, no one can judge you. Look how deep in the rough your ass is. Like, if you hit it out of here, that's actually pretty impressive. But then the pressure of having to hit off the fairway gets to you.

It's tough. You ever fuck up and just knock a huge divot in the green and be real? You got to be a real dickhead to knock a divot in the green because you're using a putter. But when I was like nine years old, I was doing a golf class my dad made me take. And I was like really bad. And I didn't have a glove. And my hands were sweaty. It was and i like okay i kept telling my dad any more excuses yes yeah and i was and i was hungry at the time of this story no i'm probably i'm probably eight nine years old around there

is this like something that golf pro did to you to make your hands sweaty? You know? No, it was just, I was nervous. It wasn't even, it wasn't even at a golf course or golf class. It was just me and my dad and my younger brother. We were all playing and my dad's always been very good at golf, really enjoys it. And he was like kind of getting onto me a little bit because I was doing badly. And I guess not, you know, like, like pulling bogus moves,

like walking through his putt line, not paying attention. And I was like so scared in my head. I'm like, like he was telling me like swing it faster, like swing it harder. And I was like, I'm afraid I'm going to let go of the club. And he's like, Taylor, you're not going to let go of the club. Swing it.

And so I swung it and it just slipped out of my sweaty grip and like went almost into the woods, almost lost that club. Accident or proving a point? 100% accident. The last thing I wanted was to cause a ruckus. I just wanted to golf decently well. And so I gave it a good college try swing and let go of it, flies up in the air.

Immediately I can see the disappointment in his eyes like this this one's never going anywhere with golf this guy has no shot younger brother was already probably yeah and to get back to it make my youngest brother but yeah the golf is stressful when someone's watching you take a shot yeah even if you're casual you're like oh man this is we just went and filmed some in western australia and one of one of the guys that we're filming with for our youtube he teed up the wa champ the like the western australian champ for open open men's turns out it was a 14 year old kid so we played all three of us played against this 14 year old kid and he just fucking destroyed

us and they just mocked us relentlessly and he had his little brother there who's nine and every time i teed off his little brother out drove me off the t-box and then was just like nice layup bitch and they just walked off there's a nine-year-old that's a kid that has a future in golf he's already beaten your ass at nine yeah i don't want to play a sport around a nine-year-old who's better than me at it yeah yeah i would never play ping pong against like a young asian kid yeah that's asking for trouble but that's the same as golf it's the young asian kids man they yeah they're just trying better than us i think some of the best golfers tiger woods asian

no i think it's always well maybe the blacks okay the asian side had nothing to do with tiger have you seen his mother please that lady couldn't win a sack race fucking came through for him big time it's not about whether they're uh it's not about whether their parents are like athletic though it's that the asian way is to just uh pressure them into living their broken dreams oh that might not have been her genetics it might have been her tiger mom yeah yeah that could have driven him to succeed yeah you still so bad it's off yeah i was listening to shaq talk about uh why he's like this ends became this inside dunking rough player he's like you look at today shaq's voice you look at today's big man what do

they do they shoot the three from the outside that's what I was trying to do one time I come in I let it roll off I missed and daddy come down wearing his uniform and called timeout in the game and at first I meant I was like your dad was a coach now his dad stepped down from the stands and called time out in the game that's embarrassing step outside the court so they could have a talk and said what the fuck are you doing and he said i'm working on my he was gonna say dr j but he didn't get the j out before his dad smacked the shit out of him yes i know the story and told him i don't know you go for like high percentage shots or whatever the fuck. You play the way I tell you to play.

Shaquille, you're embarrassing me out here. You're not far off. Oh, shit. And then he said every time he dunked it, he does it with the idea that the rim is like his father and he's trying to hurt him. And he's just tearing rims down and breaking back. That is healthy.

That is the right. Did you remember that? I think I watched the same show. I didn't hear the dunk part. I think that's just him excusing poor behavior over the years. But the father part stuck with me. I always wonder, like, where's the line if you're trying to actually raise a professional athlete, not just someone who makes it a great. Like, where's the line as a father?

Do you even get to be a father, a parent even anymore, or you mostly coach and drill master? Because if you look at Tiger Woods and Serena Williams and Venus Williams, if you look at guys like Shaq right there, I don't remember hearing much about Jordan's dad being a real go, go, go guy. It seemed like Jordan had that inside of him somehow. He wanted it and just did it to himself. But I think about when I was in the batting cage with my dad like should he have been harder no you don't have

any potential yeah but maybe i could have right now losing every year i'd rather i'd rather not you have a great career plan for the fucking marlins they trade you to the braves unexpected retirement for Kyle Myers. I refuse to play for Atlanta. Man, fuck baseball in the ass. Let me tell you real quick. I am done with baseball. I'll never talk about the Braves.

I'll never watch a Braves game again. He says this every time he talks about baseball. No, no. I'm saying I'm done with being a Braves fan and having anything to do with them. No. What I'm telling you is I'm done with the Braves as a team. The organization as a whole. Forever. The rest of my life.

I'm not going to talk about that. It's not about losing in the playoffs, Woody. It's the entire organization. It's their business practices. It's the entire organization. It's the last 25 years. If we take the last five years into account. They won the World Series two years ago. Yeah, great five years. The last five years into account. They won the World Series two years ago. Yeah, great five years.

Not good enough. The last five years was great. The last 25 sucked, okay? I don't want to go into it again. I want to talk about the Dodgers. I'm building a dynasty, bro. The Dodgers, who's like their main competitor on the West Coast and who they're going to have to face down every year to do anything in a series,

just got the most expensive player in baseball. It probably made your headlines. Shohei Ohtani. It did. $700 million. series just got uh the most expensive player in baseball it probably made your headlines 700 million dollars and then he did this thing where they defer the vast majority of it so he's actually only getting paid two million dollars a year so their salary cap doesn't get impacted at all and so they get the best player in baseball who's a pitcher and and and a great hitter for two million dollars a year they defer everything toward the end of his contract, the vast $650 million of it or whatever. So now he doesn't have to pay those California taxes, I'm sure. I'm sure he's avoiding LA taxes.

And then they use that money to sign another amazing Japanese player that I'd never heard of, frankly, but everybody's like, oh my God, he's like the second coming of Japanese prize. Japanese are really good. Here's my question for baseball. In football, sometimes players get great contracts, right? Oh, Woody's going to make $8 million over the next eight years, or $80 million, I should say.

But the truth is I won't. The truth is most of that contract is in the last three years where I get really paid, and everybody knows I'm going to get cut after the fifth year, and I'll never get paid that big bucks that's at the tail end they don't get it in football those oh or they call it an 80 million dollar contract but for me to actually get that cash i have to hit the pro ball be an all-star break some records it's bullshit money basketball on the other hand real quick people get it you get it get it when people have that kind of it doesn't matter if you're hurt i swear i think you could fucking retire or just

pretend your back hurts or have a mental health crisis and you still get 80 million dollars a year for not playing these guys are fucking on twitch streaming their video games getting 80 million dollars as a professional basketball player and he's playing with hutch anyway it's a good deal yeah uh they get the money. They get it for real. There's situations where guys will be like sign a five-year contract, destroy their arm,

never play again. It's like they're just getting paid. They're just out somewhere getting paid. They're at home, never playing. They're retired from the game and they're still getting paid. Guys, and the ways that teams, there are teams that are paying for other players other teams players you know i mean like there's lots of that incestuous like shit it's fucking weird but this thing that otani did this thing that otani guy did i'd never heard

of anything like that and it's gonna make a dynasty out of the dodgers it's it's really that's shady like deferring that shit yeah baseball is so cheaty well wait is there a salary cap in baseball not really you could just pay a luxury tax and they have a they have a budget though that they're trying to stay under and now like he just they got their cake and they ate it too and it's it's like what the fuck they're So they're like, okay, we're going to defer all this money. Get the best player for $2 million a year? Yeah. So they're banking on him carrying the whole team for the next 10 years.

No. No. They don't even need him to now. They don't have a bunch of money. If they paid him up front, that would be true. They're like, man, you better carry us so hard because we can't afford a good pitcher. We can't afford that new shortstop.

Now they can, though. They're like, do the best you can. We know you will for the next decade. It's a 10-year contract. 10 years, $700 million. Are they hoping that he will sell like fucking $750 million worth of jerseys or some shit? He'll sell a lot.

It's the number one jersey. It instantly became the number one jersey. He's the most famous player right now. And apparently, Shoheihei otani i think it is yeah i know bryce harper i think he's bryce harper's awesome yeah big fan of bryce harper hate the phillies love bryce though dude my baseball knowledge has plummeted ever since yadier melina and albert pujols retired last year i don't know anyone now but pujols he was king around here for a little bit yesterday i was just talking about uh greg luganis from

the olympics i was like who's that fucking diver with that fucked name yeah googling i've watched what do you google to find that i'm like olympic diver with stupid fucking name yeah the only famous olympic diver yeah there's not even a does he did he even have a rivalry no but apparently he was dominant apparently he was dominant forever greg leganis and jason stayham jason stayham is that oh the actor yeah jason statham he was a diver he was olympic diver yeah oh yes i wonder how how how demanding he was a diver he was an Olympic diver I wonder how demanding is being a diver really you have to be fit

because otherwise you're going to make a big splash and look silly aren't they swim team like dropouts like they couldn't cut the swim team but they're around the pool all the time and you already got the suit and the hat climb a ladder I'm not a swimming guy I'm more of a falling guy that's a healthy physique

He looks so different He does That's what he looks like He's got a little bit of a Tom Brady face there That's Jason Statham Is it the hair? Yeah it's the hair It's a pretty low res picture

Alright so I guess Once they stopped testing him, he got a much better physique. Posture. If he rolls his shoulders back, he's the same guy. Bullshit. You disagree? I mean, one picture's...

No, I think that's... Wait, are these different folks? You don't get those big man tits, Natty. Those big man tits do not come Natty, bro. You think he's juicing the difference? Fucking oath he's juicing. Yeah, good for him. He's like 60.

From deltoid to deltoid is where he's most different, and that is where steroids help. I didn't see a ton of difference. I'd love to know his weight back then. I didn't see a ton of difference. I saw differences in the photographs, but the photographs weren't comparable. You know how that works.

The one on the left is a screenshot from a VHS recorder at the Olympics in 1997. The one on the right is a promotional image for his new movie where he fights the Megalodon. I'm just saying, when you compare those two I give the one on the

left some salt. Just for experiments for science, I googled Olympic diver with fucked up name. It's like, Olympic diver Greg Lugatis gets back on board in HBO special.

I should have googled that. Why did I google the other shit? My favorite is like, what is that song that goes, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-hey-hey? And they're like, I got you. I know that one. They were like, thank God you threw the hey-hey in. That got us to the finish line of this one. We got it.

Now I got to see Remember the Titans. I'm going to cry when that boy gets crippled. Every time he gets crippled i cry it's a terrible scene in that movie that's not the part that makes me cry though i like it when the part that really makes me confuse me as a kid is like halfway through them winning the championship game the coach says oh now we're gonna blitz them all night and i was like why didn't you do that from the beginning we're good we're not gonna let them breathe blitz all right and i was like why didn't we start that from the beginning of the game it's so goddamn effective yeah there's a football game down here a while back where it's like the australian

afl like australian football league it's it it's so it sort of operates like soccer if you haven't heard of it they just like big field and they yeah you know i call it aerial or aerial bush ping pong but the uh the one team was winning about so every goal is six points and this one team was winning by like 580 points at halftime and i'm sitting there like watching this i'm like what is the coach saying to this losing team in like the locker room while they're going at the halftime like you see and they're going yeah guys if they did it we can do it we fucking got this lads. Like, how demoralized would it be?

Sure, they broke the record for points in the first half, but that just means it's doable for us in the second half. 518 is the most dangerous lead in Australian football. They're sitting under the laurels. Yeah, they ended up losing by, like, 1,000. They just didn't let off the gas at all. They were scoring a goal, goal like every 30 seconds. It's like those Olympic scores where it'd be like the 1906 Olympics and it's like Russia or the Soviet Union decided to fight

or like Russian Empire at the time. Their hockey team played against Mozambique who learned of the sports existence three days prior. And it's like 70 to nothing, like absurd scores, because half the different countries back then only had two sports they did. That's why I love the Winter Olympics. It's just like all these countries with no snow,

and then they rock up and they just get annihilated by Swedes, and it's hilarious. Why do they show up? Why do they show up? I don't get it because like i read a whole article today about how most olympic athletes you know work regular nine to five jobs and a lot of them are really struggling financially to to be able to do their training and work their job and you know but then obviously there are programs like got like

government programs the soviets had tons of them back then so do we you know the soviets in the united states during the Cold War were like, let's prove who's got the best rockets, let's prove who's got the best athletes, let's prove who's got the best economic system. And all those Eastern European gals, Eastern

German gals, just looked like men. Their shoulders, you want to talk about Jason Statham's shoulders, you should see some of those ladies shoulders that set all those fucking swimming records. Yeah, they're all just high on beaver tranquilizers, just flogging everyone. Oh, my God. We have that in Australia. We only do it for certain sports in Australia.

So you go to the Olympics, and we'll only televise what in Australia we're going to be good at. And so you'll see just on the normal television. The Olympics for us is basically just a gigantic swimming competition. And that's all you see on the television, just endless fucking swimming. Because Australia is like generally pretty good at it. But that's the most financed one. You don't see anything else. There was one guy, I remember when I was a kid,

that won a gold medal in shooting. And they gave him like two minutes of fucking airtime. And this dude was really great. No one gave it's like back to the swimming yeah speaking of like the countries that don't know what's going on i reminded me from you're from australia ish that like that's enough they had like australia has a men's national ice hockey team and they are not competitive. But like every once in a while, like they have like the play in group or whatever. And it'll be like Finland matched up against Australia. And it's like, I just can't imagine the Australian players, like even in their head, in their locker room.

They have to be like, like, you know, all we can do is do our best out there. Look around us. You see how many jackets we're all wearing? It's freezing here. These guys know their shit. We've got to try. Have you seen the guy that won the speed skating? We're looking forward to a nice

30-0 win. Oh, yes. In the last two races, everybody crashed. who won the speed skating for Australia. We're looking forward to a nice 30-0 win. Oh, yes. Yes. The guy that won the speed skating. In the last two races, everybody crashed. Everyone fell over except for him. He was losing by, like, a lap, and then he just cruised home for a gold medal. He's the fucking best shit I've ever seen.

And, you know, he just rides on it as well. He's like, yep, I won a gold medal. Like, I legitimately deserve that. He did. He did. He was behind by, like, 60 feet. Like, he was behind by like 60 feet like he was way turned around skated backwards that guy in second place is american and he was like a heavy favorite he would just what's his name is that anton ono or something or something yeah

it's like some anton he's got three fucking stupid ass names. Every year the NBC picks some loser jabroni to be their hero. Like we give a fuck and give them way too much air time and they usually fail. The problem is some races are kind of a crapshoot. Like I know in swimming, the 50 meter free, the first six guys will be within a hundredth of each other. Even if you're the best, you could have won three months ago. It's basically a toss-up between

this many people. That's what that sport is for him. I've always hated the Olympics. Genuinely hated what it does to TV and TV coverage. They don't cover the sports that I would actually give a shit about. I would like to see some discus throwing. I want to see the javelin. I want actually give a shit about. I would like to see some discus throwing. So I want to see the javelin.

I want to see the shot put. I want to see hammers. I like seeing like all that gigantic, like butch lesbians throwing a fucking hammer. No running. No swimming. No diving. No hurdles.

Women's beach volleyball. I want to see women's tennis. I want to see women's cycling. That works for me. I can deal with that. Cycling is awful. No, I want to see women's tennis. I want to see women's cycling. That works for me. I can deal with that. Cycling is awful. No, I want to see shooting. I want every sport to get a little.

Women's swimming makes me self-conscious because I look at them and I'm like, my shoulders are like one eighth the size of theirs. Archery. They have that definition. Yeah. I want more archery. I bet there's some cute archery chicks. Yeah.

I'm sure. The shooting is kind of boring, though. Most of it's just shooting.22s and they're all shooting these extremely modified fucking air rifles that are crap. I like the obese guys because there are some

very fast guys in Olympic shooting. Which sport? Olympic shooting. Oh, the fat guys in shooting yeah i want to say some ipsec shooting where they have to like run and gun with like multiple guns and stuff and put that in the olympics that'd be cool i think i mean that that would be winter olympics well the winter they have like cross-country skiing and shooting in the biathlon right the cathalon what'd you say? What's it called?

The thing where you ski, you shoot, and then you do another thing. It's a biathlon, no? Am I wrong? I think you ski and then ski again. It has like a certain name. It has like a certain name. I can't remember what it's called.

Decathlon has more shit to it, right? Ten things. Is that the one where you, there's one where you bike, run, and swim. I looked it up. The biathlon is a winter sport that combines cross-country skiing and rifle shooting that's like so boring though that like they'll show clips of it leading to commercial break like after canada versus usa men's ice hockey it'll be like and this is what's going on here you know sven smorgasbord is killing it again the heavy and now a word from discovery we're talking about television coverage does this even

matter anymore it's the internet you can watch whatever you want i bet the entire biathlon is there if you want it no one wants it no one's ever looked there's one twitch account there's some biathlete's mom who's changing the channel. Oh, yeah. Someone's stealing all that content and they're not even flagging it. Look, that's my boy. That's my boy shooting. Yes.

Oh, it's gone. What's Australia best at in the Olympics? It's got to be summer. I can't imagine they're doing well. Swimming. I think swimming. We were dominated in swimming for ages and then they got destroyed by. Dominating in swimming? What ages did would dominate in swimming for ages and then uh they got destroyed by uh dominating in swimming what this was before uh swimming what um what was that fucking guy's name

that got caught smoking the bongs you're thinking of michael phelps but before him was before him on the and before him was i fucking forget skipping one one. Americans have had the best swimmer alive. We had two guys that were Ian fucking Thorpe, maybe? He won heaps of gold medals. He was trash. If he was on the American team,

he wouldn't be a star. He won gold medals and then a grand hack at it as well. Asterisk. He won heaps. You think three gold medals makes then Grant Hackett as well He won heaps You think like three gold medals makes the news In American swimming Didn't he win like five or something He was really good

But I don't know if he was even the best of his Olympics There was some old chick as well That was dominant like back in the 80s And then they named I think it was like Margaret Court Was her name And they named i think it was like margaret court was a name then they uh or something margaret something and they named types of arenas after and then she came out as like a fucking huge racist like later on i guess too which race did you like

what are we looking for we're swimming down the list somewhere the top individual pardon me wrong but i don't know what i'm looking at these are all women's names so i must be looking for the girl you're talking about these are like lady medallists i might be wrong yeah yeah no he was really good why the top of this list is cut off for me i can't see i need to see the top ones so I can immediately forget it. There we go. That's not even in order.

The guy at the top is two. Oh, look at how old some of those pictures are, man. What is that guy wearing? That wizard over there, top right. Frank Bureau Pair. Boy, Charlton was the first Australian to win with electricity. He won three gold medals.

Look at this guy. Gold medals used to be way cooler. He's got the fucking time stone. Of course he won. Look at this shit. This guy's about to go to one of those fucking Bohemian Grove meetups after he wins his

swimming contest. Eyes wide shut. Owl mask wearing. Drink some owl blood and fuck a virgin pervert parties yeah okay so i'm wrong we weren't dominant uh other than that i have nothing i have no fucking idea your own continent you should wear that uh with pride and the only thing we win is something americans don't care about and that's the cricket and other than that we've we just if you guys got involved probably less you guys you've got the you've got the no health care money to throw at that kind of shit we don't have that we're trying to keep smokers alive you guys just let them die no one here knows how to play cricket at all if i talked to every single person i know there's not one chance they know how cricket is played not not

i don't have any idea i try to watch cricket with this idea like i think i'm getting it and you peek down at the score and it's like 1500 to 900 now we're on day three of the match days of the match too too. It'll be like, is it day four? It depends on the topic. In Japan, the bowls. A test match goes for like five days. One day is just one day. It's just called one day. I know India's in it.

A T20 that only has like 20 overs, which you could consider like an innings. A hockey game could last two months and no one would have 1500 points yeah but you can score you can score six at a time you know oh that's true is that how you get six at a time in football but I've never seen a football game that got more than like 70 points

yeah that's because a football game goes for like three hours and they run for 20 seconds then rest for fucking five minutes yeah that is what football is but they they run for 20 seconds then rest for fucking five minutes like in the test match like if you're out there batting you're just batting for eight hours straight yeah until you get out just stand it around in the fucking sun so home runs in in uh cricket or six points uh it works like a home run. So you hit it out of the field. If it doesn't touch the ground,

so if it goes out of the ground on the full, then it's six. If it runs along the ground and then goes outside the rope around the ground, then it's four. Do you have to do the six runs? Or do they just give you six runs? If you hit it over, you just get six without running. So it essentially functions like a home run.

So I'm just having to slush his mic for me. A little bit of popping when you're talking. I was scared I pulled my headphones out. I thought it was me. No, I started hearing it just a few moments ago. But yeah, I don't know when the next Olympics is. That's how little I guess I actually care about it. Is that better now?

It's every two years. It's still popping on it. Even numbered years, but I don't know. I don't even know if winter or summer. Winter is the only one I'll, because I'll watch some of the hockey games. You're the one American who cares about Winter Olympics. Yeah, I mean, I'm the only one who's watching the hockey games.

And every time there'll be a big USA, rah-rah, shish-boom-bah. And then we get paired up against Sweden or Canada. And it's pretty embarrassing to lose to Sweden. Not that they're bad. They're a really good team. But there's only like 5 million of them. And they beat us. Yeah, but they beat us at the thing they try the hardest at.

Yeah, they skate to school at four years old. It's not the same. It's true. They probably do. It's freezing. I mean, they beat us at speaking whatever weird language they speak over there, too. We don't count that. Fibble-de-bop.

All those goofy syllables. We only count the sport we win. I do like that about there's no sport in the Olympics or world competition that you can more easily know who's going to win just based on the countries. Like when Italy is playing Sweden in ice hockey, there's not one person. None of the three Italian fans even think that they have a shot like they're at the game, like getting drunk. They're like, you know, we only lost six to one we weren't shut out this time it's that's big for the italian hockey team like they just suck i bet crickets like that too like i bet in cricket like there's australia england maybe india but when

they're up against like dominican republic or trinidad and tobago everyone knows they're getting their asses kicked yeah I would imagine India I thought cricket was their biggest sport it is yeah yeah and there's like a billion and a half there's more Indians than Chinese now and so no gym classes in the

whole country yeah I don't think that India talking about an entire population that never had gym in high school. It should be good now. That's true. Nope. Uh-oh. Is it still popping? Can you say something else? Hello?

Popping. Yeah, it's a little pop still. I'm not sure what... Yeah, like a little cat purr. Speaking of cats and tangentially pets and tangentially your new dog how's the new pup how's the little murphy yeah i got this tiny little pomeranian i weighed him on the food scale last night he's 1.2 pounds um just he's about the size of a kitten and uh super

cute it's a pomeranian um i got i got him a bassinet and like a little baby pin so i just keep him next to me all day in there and uh i'm just terrified i'm going to accidentally step on him so is he in there with you right now in a little bassinet no he's in the other room with like thunder and and like rain music playing so he sleeps and chills out and uh i i'm gonna go and check i've got like on him in a minute make sure he's not crying or anything but i can't even eat dog food yet you have to take dog dog food and you have to chew it i chew it and then i baby bird it to him yeah so we're really forming a strong bond um that they said i could use like a food bullet you know one of the little bod pods and grind up the poop

i was like no not for my dog i wouldn't i mean really i think the best i knew that you would bomb with that dog as soon as you told me about how you breastfed him yeah that's true i've i i gotta tell you i'm not giving the bitty all the skin to skin contacts photos you've been sending saying how important it is for bonding i hate those yeah curiously that dog is getting jacked you're like in a bathtub like holding the dog to your chest yeah like the skin how old is the dog rose petals like floating tastefully on the water cover concealing both of our shame uh he's six weeks old when i got him i didn't realize he was six weeks old uh i met the owner in a parking lot and you know it's georgia but it was a chilly day and the wind

was blowing and uh and and i'm like oh my god it's so little she's like yeah you know it's six weeks i don't usually give them out this early i'm like is that what you were trying to imply and that really awkward text conversation you had earlier where you had those long pauses and kept asking when exactly? He was not ready to be picked up is what it was. But then I was there in the parking lot and I was like, let's get him out of the fucking wind. And I took him home. Yeah, I think eight to ten weeks was kind of the minimum. Yeah, eight.

And especially with such a little fucking dog. So I know what I'm doing. You have to feed them regularly or they'll go high hypoglycemic and it becomes a real problem when they're that young, when you're weaning them from milk to, uh, to food and like, and I'm not chewing this food. Obviously I'm grinding it up in the bullet and then I'm adding,

uh, I didn't know they made this, but Gerber baby food, you're probably familiar with those little jars of baby food you can buy. I always thought of like split peas and stuff stuff like that they make pureed chicken and it is the foulest smelling pink liquid it's what chicken and and and it's it smells awful but i spooned that into his dry food that's been ground up and add warm water and he eats that and uh but i don't know i already love the fucking dog he's got so much personality he's like fighting with my fingers and he growls constantly like a little uh he jumps you want to nurture that

yeah my other dog's almost 90 pounds and he my one pound dog like leaps at him and growls and toby runs away so it's hilarious it's just real cute um just very merry christmas with that that's best best gifts in a while i've given and then i got my star trek picture you know for um my girlfriend got me which is like honestly this is the best gift i've ever gotten in my life like like i i love this so fucking much like like i love this so fucking much it's it comes with this like certificate of authenticity and everything. And I know she didn't keep out on it. And it's fucking cool that all those people that I grew up watching and still watch far too much, you know, touched that piece of paper and signed that photo and everything.

I love it. Does it say like how how long ago it was when they signed it? I think I can look that up up i've got like a whole certificate with some paperwork for it i'm sure it was for some show somewhere where some fan was like somehow got them all to sign it i don't know maybe they had to pay maybe they all got paid maybe they do a thing where they all sign and then split the money i bet the card gets the most though right the uh the ball got like a yeah the most, though, right? The bald guy? Yeah, the whole cast gets together and does an autograph signing

like, how are we going to split these profits up? That's more Sean Connery, but you know what I'm going for. Yes, that's also my understanding of the character. Spock, Master of Spock, we have to go to the lizard planet. I'm Steve and my friend

William Shatner. We need to go save him from Planet Allstate. He's stuck in a time loop doing commercials. You're not far off from the plot of one of the movies, unfortunately. You see that thing I linked there? This

real piece of shit went and ruined christmas for all these children uh he went outside of a uh outside of a elementary school dressed as the grinch and he's got a big sign here that reads santa's face jesus is real sometimes truth hurts and it's a scary grinch mask too look at it that is That's not a you know, full of mirth and tongue in cheek Grinch mask. That's very spooky. I don't like it because it doesn't match

the rest of the outfit. The rest of the outfit is a very silly Grinch. And this is a very evil. I bet there's some like stupid horror movie that's called like, that's just called like Grinch and they try to go hard with it. No, Dr. Seuss would sue the fuck out of him, or his estate would. This, though, honestly, I don't like this.

That's such a magical part of your life when you believe Christmas is real, when you believe that Santa is real, and there's elves and shit making presents and magic, and they're going to fly down and bring you some shit tonight, so we need to go to bed so they can intrude our home and gift us it's it's literal magic that you believe in until you're like nine or so and you gotta tell nine i don't third grade or something i knew i remember that i remember them my teacher being like we had to write our christmas list in third grade like what we want for santa and i'm like i already told my parents you know what i want like like they And I'm like, I already told my parents, you know, what I want.

Like, like they, they, they had the toys or rust catalog. I think you familiar. And, and she's like, shh, fucking fill out your goddamn Santa list, Kyle. Stop being a fucking, uh, turn the punch bowl. Everybody else believes in Santa Claus around here. And so you kind of had to keep it quiet that, uh, you know, he and everything yeah i didn't get that long i didn't get any amount of time the first time i asked my mom she was like no well there you go don't don't you wait that long when your mother spoiled christmas for you at an early age she shot me right out of the sky with santa

boom no that's from grandma. Fuck. Right away. Shut that right down. Woody, do you believe in Santa? Do you ever sit on the guy's lap in a mall and tell him what you wanted? For many years I sat on Santa's lap. I think we both got a kick out of it. I hope. That's Stan.

That's Stan. That's what Lindsey Graham Moonlight says. I don't know if they still do it. That's funny. You'd sit on Santa's Stan. That's Stan. That's not. That's what Lindsey Graham Moonlight says. I don't know if they still do it. That's funny. They do it. Like, you'd sit on Santa's lap. You'd tell him what you want. And then Santa would, like, rat you out and tell your parents everything you told them.

That's still how it works. Yeah, yeah. And you get your photo taken. And usually the parent is close enough by that they're hearing this. And then there's usually a tiny little train you can get on on a track and right after you talk to Santa with some sort of snack. It's a good time. This was magical. I remember

feeling, like have you seen that movie They Live? Yeah, of course. Rowdy Rodney Piper. Where the guy you know, he has the special glasses that he can put on and it'll take like an advertisement and be like, consume, obey and then like a scary alien demon face and i remember i obviously hadn't seen this movie when i was like five but i remember like waiting in line for santa with my mom and like younger brother to get pictures

and thinking in my head like i've got something over on these kids i know the truth i know that i'm about to sit on a sad alcoholic slap right now they're going to see santa that's not a sad alcoholic those are great guys the guys who actually like volunteer their time and grow that beard out are some of the sweetest kindest men like you know that's that's not a job that's a passion i'm sure they are that is a look i had a college professor who was a santa there he he said that he uh he worked the chair at like bloomingdales or something and he kind of implied he was on the board of directors like a chairman of some sort but he was actually a santa and it was like weeks into the semester before he's like when i say i work the chair at the bloomingdales i mean i'm a fake santa and then you're like yeah i get it because he had this big beard he was in like the national association of real santas and that's people who don't wear a fake beard yeah

a bit enough that they look like santa all year they make you bulk they're serious about it no skinny santas no no no they. They allow the other races in. I don't care for that. I'm in a different Santa group. Now that's when wokeness touches us. Dude, you can't allow that. Santa's wild. I am starting to align with these MAGA people on the wokeness stuff.

I'm watching Doctor Who, and gosh darn, they beat you over the head with it. In the most recent doctor who episode okay let's go back in the second most recent doctor who episode the doctor who's this attractive black guy now doesn't wear pants through the whole thing he's just there in his like tidy white he's you looking at his bulge all the time and i'm like that just feels like a lot to me well they put him in a skirt for the next episode and And I'm like, I guess this is a step up.

So there he is at the dance club, like turning and turning and turning as the skirt flays out. And I'm like, I just feel beaten over the head with it. One of the main characters daughters is she changed her own gender. I don't use the word right. Trans? Yeah. Yeah. Trans. she changed her own gender you know like that i don't use the word right but trans yeah yeah trans i was i was stuck on transvestite and i couldn't get my head off it but i feel like that's an outdated term that people don't yeah they don't use that any i think they might though i i think of transvestites as um the sexuality is completely separate um the um gender is completely separate

it's just men who like to dress up like ladies and they enjoy that. I don't even think it needs to be sexual. I think of those guys from the Birdcage movie, like Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes as transvestites. And those guys, imagine it. Well, yeah, but their characters in the film were like drag queens and transvestites. I don't remember

them being outright gay, but of course I was seven trying to interpret a lot of adult themes. I'm not up on my terms. I don't know them being outright gay, but of course I was seven trying to interpret a lot of adult themes. Yeah. I'm not up on my terms. I don't know what's preferred. And, but I agree with you.

It's like when it's so ham handed and obvious and it's like, Oh, you got to, you know, just, just every clearly no one was sitting in this casting room being like, this guy embodies the character we're going for. They're like,

well, okay, this guy, white guy. Sorry. No, from, well, okay, this guy, white guy. Sorry. No. From the start. No, you got to be black, trans and gay and have a club foot.

And it feels like two thirds of the characters represent 2% of the population. And I'm like, I don't mean to be some sort of bigot, but this is like a lot. I don't mean to be some sort of bigot, but I, this is like a lot. Yeah. Like you do know that most people are either white or Latino and straight and religious in this country, right? Like you should have two Brown Catholics on here who are hateful as fuck right now. If we're trying to represent the current state of America, like give me, give me,

give me two second generation Americans who came from Mexico and work hard their whole fucking lives and go to, and are Catholic as fuck taking communion. And then a redhead guy who hates them. Yeah, it's America. But they fuse together with their hatred for the made up people who are on the show. We need two black guys catcalling the main character of the show and a couple of Hispanic day laborers giving side eyes because they don't know what's being said but they don't like it but it's set in london i think most of the time so they should throw in a couple of like african guys who are very rapey where is it where they let where that

girl got gang raped by the african migrants and they let eight out of nine of them go free because they because you know they had such a hard life it sounds like a germany or thing to do i think it's germany i think it's germany it sounds like you get what you did you come up it's germany well i don't forget world war ii don't forget like no one's alive from that you can't you will not let it come up dude it honestly it like genuinely it seems so petty when they get those auschwitz guards now it's like fuck dude what was he guarding he had to be 12 back then yeah it's like they're like we got he guarded a camp in 1941 and it's like this guy was born in 1931 it's like how like what are we doing here that's weird they're they're so old and and they throw the book at them every time you know they just send

them to the rest of their lives. I do like the idea that the people they wrong get justice eventually but I'm really stuck on the thing. Let's not act like they ran this camp but anyone who's alive now was young

when they were doing it. They were 18. It's not good to always be digging up the past, creating division and shit. I don't know. Those guys aren't Nazis, though, so probably punish them. It goes the other way, too. If there's an American war hero from World War II,

I say, well, what have you done for me lately? 100%. At this point, you know what? I'm revoking your AutoZone discount. That was a long time ago. You guys have gotten enough discounts over the years. At this point, you know what? I'm revoking your AutoZone discount. Whoa! That was a long time ago. You guys have gotten enough discounts over the years. Yeah, at this point, I'm going to need you to fight in another war.

Dude, every fucking day, combat veterans with both hands taking, taking, taking a day. I wonder if we'll ever have a politician who comes out and is like, these pampered troops with their VA care.

Do you know sometimes some of them even get in, and they get that care for free. I've been watching more of that YouTube channel where all the participants are in VR chat. So there's a fox girl, and Anakin Skywalker will be there, and there'll be an ant man like literally like the insect but he's a fox girl is a really pretty girl whose animated character is an animal like a furry no no they're all in vr chat so their avatars that are sitting

around a table are avatars so one of them is like a girl fox hybrid you know okay with like paw print tattoos and shit. Anyway, they end up interviewing some of the most interesting people with the coolest jobs. Like the guys who do like geo spatial, um, reconnaissance or something for the military.

I think they're the guys who were in part, um, like controlling the spy satellites and like some of the high altitude drones and stuff like that, compiling imagery and coming up with target targets and stuff. Yeah. They're in like a world like this, like chilling,

talking about like one guy today, there were two guys that were submariners on nuclear submarines. And so hearing them talk about what life was like in a submarine and what the food was like. But then there, sometimes you'll have a Marine and he'll, he'll be a combat Marine obviously. And he'll talk about just killing people and what it's like.

Um, the really good one was the guy who was the gunner on an AC one 30 gunship. And he talked about just all the people they would talk about what they watched, um, like some Taliban guy, like kill a mother's child in front of her. And, uh, and everybody's, he's's like everybody's pissed we're watching and so when they leave we follow them and we watch them and we don't let them get out of our sight until the boss hears about it he said and he got mad and he said get him and we blew that truck up it's just like all these stories like he starts crying at that store they're uh they're really good and at first it's silly because like i said they're in vr chat but they're great videos

and i never watched it oh go ahead i'm just gonna say i like talking to people from um that have like that military experience that have done that crazy shit like that because it's never what you think it's gonna to sound like. Like, I always imagined those guys in that AC-130 were in some bubble of safety, but he talked about getting shot at all the time and getting, you know, a couple of them got shot down, like, not him, but, like, those AC-130 gunships have been shot down

because they just loiter over the area at low altitude circling. I guess it depends who you're fighting, right? Russians can shoot them down, but who are're fighting right and russians can shoot them down but who are they fighting i think taliban shot one down with you know some sort of missile or rocket or something they went to nighttime flying mostly after that but like the the fact that some of those munitions i guess have radioactive materials in them and all of them have lead in them and so when they're firing quickly up there they're just

enveloped in this cloud of radioactive lead that they're just breathing in the whole time but you did myth was busted on pkn you explained to us that nuclear fallout is actually not even pish posh no big deal well well no if you. If you want to talk about nuclear fallout, that's real dangerous. That's the materials that have been... Yeah, Tuesday Kyle doesn't think much of nuclear weapons at all. Yeah, he was mocking them openly. Yes.

He said, I dare someone to nuke me. I moved to Atlanta just to see if those motherfuckers would try but my point was if you nuked Atlanta we'd be able to move back in here in five or six years and it'd be fine like it's not going to irradiate then poison the ground in some way like that's just not how nuclear weapons work

here's my thinking on that I've often want like I have no doubt that in five years they tell us we we could come back. Come back to Atlanta. Resume your jobs. Contribute to the GDP. It's safe. Trust me. The question I have is, would they be able to lie to me? Are there enough Geiger counters aren't that rare?

People can measure it. Are they going to tell me that it's safe when it's not? Are they going to be able to lie? I don't know. They probably would. You can visit the Trinity test site. You can go to where the first nuclear weapon went off. You can go to a lot of them, I think.

Just because it goes off, again, it's not one of those 40K poison the earth weapons. And going back to the Chernobyl thing, that wasn't a nuclear explosion. That was a steam explosion where the roof blew off from steam pressure. There's no nuclear fission happening. I mean, it's that the radioactive material is burning.

There isn't some fissile explosion like with a nuclear weapon. I get what you're saying, but it just doesn't seem right. Why? Because I imagine a big bomb going off in Nagasaki and everyone having to be like,

all right, next five years we're out of here. But you can actually go back real soon afterward, start rebuilding and shit. Clearly you can do that because they did do that for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and they didn't have everyone dying of cancer the next two years. So I know what you're saying is right,

but it doesn't seem like it should be even chernobyl now you have to trust the russians to believe this but didn't like three people die at chernobyl oh that maybe like the actual like steam explosion but like way more people died in in issues like following it that he that poisoned a half a continent like they kept that shit secret the cancers and the the the stillbirths and everything that created who knows what the number is on that yeah who knows is perfect because i that's where i'm stuck right they told us the nuclear fallout was like washing over europe and then across like it went up and then west something to do with the

way the winds were going at the time and that like mushrooms were going to be dangerous for some very long time i don't know 31 people died as a result of chernobyl the un estimates that 50 people died and a further 4 000 might eventually die well it was a while ago well they're talking about the dosage they're talking about the dosage initially like um there that 4 000 would die but but Again, it was that burning fire of radioactive dust and particulates and goo and vapor and all that stuff that was floating and then settling on people.

That ash that lands on you that's radioactive and you stick it in your mouth. That's the poison. But if you died in 75 instead of 76, did Chernobyl really kill you? No. That's one of the best miniseries I've ever seen. 75 instead of 76. Did Chernobyl really kill you? No. But if you, but dude, and that's one of the best miniseries I've ever seen, I think.

It's like a top five all-time miniseries. It's solid. When those people are dying of the radiation sickness later on, it's like, man, you got to sneak your boy a handgun into that prison or something, into that hospital. Like, you can't let him go out like that. They kept that one guy alive for so long. Yeah.

They were letting that pregnant woman just hang out in the nuke wing and the woman kept being like, you're not allowed to be here, but I will run cover for you even though that baby good as dead. Yeah. And the problem was her husband had absorbed so much radiation that he was radioactive. He was giving off the radiation and poisoning of the baby that was inside of her womb because he was one of the cleanup guys like pushing a shovel like scooping up chunks of like radioactive material and and that's that whole thing was

great great i'm always coming down hard on nasa because i want them to do more cool stuff and they've been there on a fucking 60 year drought of cool stuff and so we need to see something neat how about this how launch nukes at the moon i want to see how big nukes have gotten since we first invented them because you know you hear stuff where it's like you know the nagasaki bomb was actually bitch made compared to the czar bomb that the russians tested and now the czar bomb is bitch bitch-made compared to the Tsar bomb that the Russians tested. And now the Tsar bomb is bitch-made compared to this new hypothetical one that we have.

I think the Tsar bomb wasn't nuclear. It was just the largest traditional bomb ever, right? No, it's the biggest nuclear bomb ever built. We never beat that? No. It would be silly to beat it. They did explode it. They tested it.

They dropped it in Siberia out of a cargo plane. It had a parachute. It was enormous. It couldn't be towed by any, you know, carried underneath. I want a bomb so big that we can see it hit the moon. You would see a nuclear weapon hit the moon, but there's

a test ban treaty. But I think the Russians just pulled out of that, right? I think they literally pulled out of it. So maybe it is to to go ahead and hit the moon it's funny you mentioned that werner von braun um came up with an idea he wanted to he was the the nazi who nasa took to like do the whole space program he's the he invented nasa he's the one who got us to the moon the nazi man yeah um his idea he wanted to colonize the whole solar system and he thought we could do it by like 2000 those guys jumped big well well his his uh his his way of moving the um spaceship is by nuclear explosions behind the spaceship that would you would one after another that you would you

would explode a nuclear weapon behind the spaceship the shockwave would push it forward accelerating it and then you would drop another nuclear weapon behind you spaceship. The shockwave would push it forward, accelerating it. And then you would drop another nuclear weapon behind you, let it get to the correct distance, and repeat that process over and over. And they said, theoretically, it could accelerate a spaceship like 10% or 15% the speed of light, get to the next star system in 50 years or something. Where is it going?

That'd be cool. Where's what going? First of all, I had to process some of this. Did you say 50 times the speed of light? 15% the speed of light, he said. 10 or 15% the speed of light. Which is really fast as shit.

Based on what I know about the speed of light. It'd be 18,000 miles per second. 18,600 miles per second. And then you have to slow down, too. Do they just nuke in front of them and push them slower? Yeah yeah i guess you would want some retro rockets to do that right when you're like just flying through the void

of space 15 of the speed of light you gotta push it down that would be well again what i'm not talking about like it would immediately go that immediately go real fast but like the idea was that if you did enough of those explosions over time, it might be years or something of dozens of explosions, hundreds of thousands, I don't know what they said. But just for traveling around in our solar system, I guess that would make you go real fast. Because everything else they do seems bitch-made to me.

It's a lot of pressurized air and I don't know. Pish posh nonsense. We're never going to get anywhere with this pressurized air stuff. Time to harness the power of nukes. Same with energy. We've got so many. We've got to use a bunch of nuclear energy, get our energy shit solved forever,

and then we can focus on the stars, baby. Apparently renewables are cheaper now. Apparently renewables are cheaper now than nuclear. Nuclear is so regulated that it's just more expensive over time. But it's not like it's doable. We could just make nuclear power plants. You've got to lower regulation. And that it's just more expensive. But it's doable. We could just make nuclear power plants and it'd be way more efficient. Well, then lower regulations so we could have nuclear power plants.

Eat it. But there's a bunch of money and the alternatives now. They're lobbying against that. Makes sense. Bunch of silly billies trying to make money. What are you for? Nuclear power plants with less regulation? If regulation is what's keeping us from doing nuclear power,

then we need to get on whatever needs to be handled there so we can do nuclear power. Because it's just the most efficient. It's the most effective. It's pretty much forever. It seems to me we should have... There's no downtime. Why is it the most efficient?

It's the most efficient by far i got into like reading about this like a few months ago so like i i found one site that was like it's actually the least efficient and here's here's the break to end it like you click two little things on there and you see it's like brought to you by the alternative energy you know and the way that they get those like bogus instruments or measurements where they're like, solar is more efficient in this way. What they assume built into that is that solar doesn't require maintenance, doesn't have downtime. Enormous sums of time on solar plants isn't being used because there isn't sun being absorbed. It's much easier to break.

Apparently, there are huge problems of this one breaks and therefore a bunch of other ones did. And I have to do a lot more hunting and pecking and trying to figure shit out. Whereas once you get a nuclear reactor going, it kind of just goes. And it's always pumping it out. Always. When wind is shut down for huge portions of the year, nuclear is pumping it out. When solar isn't working for huge portions of the year, nuclear is pumping it out. And it's also more sent it's more central and so it's not some field the size of new hampshire that you're having to go through it i uh you don't have to sell me on it i've

always thought it was the way to go just because i thought it was cool we went and visited the kiwi power plant when i was in like middle school or high school i don't remember which but you know how memory works i don't remember if i saw it with my eyes or if they showed me a video of it but we saw like the pool where the cooling rods were and it's it glows down there it's probably life it's probably lit but it looks like it glows and there was a humming noise that's pretty cool got those those those rods uh that that are in there heating that water up. And I don't know, just walking through there, of course,

it's a prop that you walk through a whole like learning annex and it's the other kind of propaganda. They tell you that a banana is actually more radioactive than this entire power plant, Timmy. Well, unless we have an accident and run out of cold water, which would never happen unless, you know, Timmy. Well, unless we have an accident and run out of cold water, which would never happen unless, you know, we did. As long as you keep the infrastructure rolling, it'll work just fine.

It really doesn't seem like a great idea to me to have one in somewhere like Japan, which is like earthquake, tsunami, and Godzilla capital of the world. Bad things can happen. They can interrupt your supply of water to keep the thing cool, and then you actually do have that meltdown fiery thing that's scary. But, Jesus Christ,

why can't we fill Montana up with those cooling towers? Exactly. Dude, nuclear is the coolest energy form by far. By far. I don't know how energy transfer works as far as, like, for example, if we made a whole bunch of power in Montana,

what happens when we try to like pump it to georgia like if we just run a cable to georgia a couple hundred miles all right yeah i don't understand the details of it i know you can ramp up the voltage and the losses are lower and like high voltage ac transfer but what you called out was probably a little hyperbolic from like montana to georgia. That's way too far. Okay, well, you can't have that. Maybe if you had some Elon Musk battery fields that my nuclear is charging,

and then I can put those batteries on diesel-powered trucks and send them to Georgia, because that's pretty much what we're doing now. I don't see anything wrong with this. That seems wildly inefficient. You want to ship batteries from Montana to Atlanta? We're going to support American truckers, Taylor.

That's a big part of this bill, I promise you. You've somehow taken nuclear and made it unworkable. Hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. Electric trucks, and when the batteries get to Georgia, they're not charged anymore. They're not charged. They use the diesel to send the battery

to charge. I have her to her. that's how the biden economy works i i saw this thing today about all the talking about nuclear energy and how cool it is i was gonna talk about the difference nuclear energy too and i definitely like it when we're talking about replacing coal oil natural gas like some of the dirtier ones um sometimes i hear it like when people pitch nuclear energy they do it to shit on like hydro power wind power and solar and i'm like i don't know these things seem to have some value too it seems like we're letting a lot of just like free energy just float by i feel like a good mix would be the way but right and and the one thing

i like about solar is like not diesel would be great because like Right. And one thing I like about solar is... Well, shit like not diesel would be great because you can literally see the pollution. People coal rolling. I was driving behind one of those guys recently. Fuck him. Patriot. Keep your mouth shut. That guy's cool.

Diesel's fucking so expensive in your country. His dick's so fucking girthy. That guy was like... That guy was trumped out. The back of his car. I had you at roll call. I knew who he was voting for. 100%. No part of me was like,

I was about to see an I'm with her sticker. There's no fucking way. I just think whenever I see the aircraft carriers, the submarines and stuff that are nuclear powered, and they're like, yeah, a piece the size of a golf ball powers this for two years. I think that's fairly accurate.

It might be five years. It's something stupid like that. I'm talking about an aircraft carrier, the thing with 3,000 fucking sailors and 150 planes on it or some shit. For years. And it's not like they sit still. We just move around the globe all the time.

We're cool like that. The military, they can't look after anything. And they managed to keep it from not exploding. It's funny you mention that. Private Enterprise can do it. The Russians have a nuclear powered icebreaker slash

cargo ship. And it caught on fire this week. Oh no. In the nuclear part? Did they get it put out? I think the cargo part caught on fire. Well, the foreign minister assured everyone that it wasn't a big deal and we were all blowing it out of proportion.

So I'm sure... I'm just imagining a nuclear cloud will be hitting Alaska right about... It's not Ukrainian involved. I don't want a nuclear cloud. We'll be hitting Alaska right about... It's not Ukrainian involved. I don't want to imply that. I think it was in the northern part of... Their country's... Oh, Russia's capable of fucking shit up by themselves. Yeah.

It's just breaking ice. Is that all it's doing up there? They call it an ice-breaking cargo ship is what the internet calls it. Those ice-breaking ships are cool if you've seen clips of those online where they're just powering through. We have a couple that dock down here because it's

pretty close to Antarctica and they're pretty cool. I always forget you guys are close to Antarctica because I just imagine it being so hot everywhere. It doesn't snow anywhere in Australia ever, right? No, it snows down here. We're really far. We're 42 down here yeah we're really far we're 42 degrees south we're pretty far south but mainland australia no uh some places that are pretty high

up not north of like uh new south wales like the southern parts of australia yeah you get snow new south wales that's i think it's like a name for specific name Americans I think in general Just don't understand how fucking massive Australia is Yeah I do We don't think of it as big compared to us Kyle knows We have a population Is it a mercurial map?

What are the maps called? Mercurial projection is what you think Thank you Our population like the entire country is smaller than la so later okay really people are people are always like oh mercurial it's fuck all people here yeah it must be tiny i mean that's a good i'd rather have way too few people in my country than way too many like australia you've got you got a ton of room to do so well you got a lot of room but a lot of it is like i don't want i don't want to hang out desert outback is the con guess who named the outback an australian

we'd have called it the wasteland it's new south shithole the land of villains from the united in the middle of australia is there the infrastructure that you need to like do shit like can do you need to carry your own fuel to get from one place to the other some places you go yeah it depends on which roads you go some roads uh there's like warning signs like bring enough or food and water for like a week if your car breaks down do not leave your car bring spare fuel, spare tires spare fucking everything

don't trade with the aboriginals we're stealing our gas again are there cities in Australia where it's like mostly aboriginal people or no no we kill them all that's how it's like mostly aboriginal people or no well no we killed them all but the um the that's how it's done america you should learn from us don't give a freak casinos but the um no i'm just fucking her but yeah yeah there's there's places with a lot more aboriginals like

alice springs and darwin like in the northern territory have a lot more aboriginals than other places but like it depends on the the history of it like my state has a sketchy history of like my great-grandfather had a job and his job was literally just hunting down aboriginals really i didn't know alice business was booming yeah i only now learned that alice springs is a real place um at alice steakhouse just so you know alice springs chicken is very good. I've never been. Every time I go to America, someone's like, go and try Outback Steakhouse.

I can't bring myself to go and eat a fucking blooming onion, whatever the fuck that is. It's delicious. You shouldn't. Outback is one of the lowest quality steak places you can go in America. He's so wrong. We've got the best beef in the world and you're going to go to fucking Outback? You're in Missouri.

How do they not have good beef at Outback? Outback is good. They have a great filet mignon. I'm saying in the world of steaks, go to a real place. Okay, well it's half the fucking price, Taylor. Yeah. I just don't think it's going to be very good. Taylor's like, go to Martin's, poorie.

Yeah, right? Meanwhile, I'm at Waffle House ordering steaks. Taylor's looking, go to Morton's, poorie. Meanwhile, I'm at Waffle House ordering steaks. They sell more than anywhere in the United States I'll have. It says right there on that old, greasy picture. It says on that pin being warned by that

violent, convicted felon. Outback Steakhouse is very good for what it is. How much is a steak? What are we talking about? Probably $30 for a steak and sides. If that,

it'd probably be a little cheaper. Like a nine ounce filet mignon with a baked potato and a sweet potato. That's what I would get if I were there right now. A baked potato and a sweet potato? Two lines of potatoes, you monster. You eat two potatoes with your steak? A baked potato and a sweet potato every time you monster you eat potatoes with your steak a baked potato and a sweet potato yeah that's bizarre it's two different ones sweet and one's savory nothing wrong with that yeah that's absolutely i might put some shrimp on

top of the steak too and have two different kinds of meat surf and turf oh i love surf and turf i think a little surf and turf. Have you ever had a carpet bag steak before? I have not. What is that? So you cut a slice into the steak and then halfway through cooking and then you stuff it with oysters. That's fucking

good. I'd try that. I think White House's claim... I think Waffle House's claim to fame is that they sell the most T-bones in the United States. I think that's what it says, right? That's such a shit cut, though. Yeah. It's not.

And their T-bones are not good. What am I looking at? That's a cow's egg. That's some fine dining right there. I don't know. I think I can still revive that one. What? That's cooked very well.

That looks delicious. That's a little bit of CPR in that thing. Don't tell me you're a well-done steak eater. Medium rare. I don't think that's medium rare. That looks rare to me. I do like it more on the medium side than the rare side if I'm doing medium rare. I've got to be friends with someone that eats steak well done.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want it well done. It's a waste of money. Although if you get it well done at a at a very nice restaurant they do like a they will ask you to leave oven well they finish it in the oven and it's really juicy on the inside but it's you know yeah and some people are just turned off by the fucking blood i can get that like i said i'm i'm a fucking ass hair away from becoming a

vegetarian like like or at least like cut it curtailing like the animals that i eat that'd be such a funny evolution for you if i see the blood i'm still in it let's party what if he stops eating meat and like every single episode he just gets gayer and gayer and gayer he's saying robert downey jr lightly he went on to like a vegan okay all right he's on a vegan diet that's look yeah i would never stop deficiency man my own my thing is i had to process that iron deficient yeah not so iron man um uh but but the uh the pigs and the cows every time i see those goddamn videos on the internet of people treating them like pets and scritching on their heads and the cow will like nuzzle into their lap like yeah give me more it feels good it's like shit stop watching that shit dude go back to watching people killed by police something

healthier like i would eat those people if you could buy tyrone burgers i would sign right up like that dude is lean as fuck look at him move they they got him yeah 93 7 describing my diet for 12 years i was a revenge-based vegetarian and and absolutely that like if it was if it was a sweet animal like a cow for example i wouldn't eat it if it was a mean animal if hypothetically there was tiger any kind of fish any kind of bird i would eat those for sure gobble them i hate chicken heart we had chickens when i was little i fucking hate them oh i would kill them not even to eat them they just piss me off i'm now remembering woody's revenge-based diet what made you stop the revenge-based diet because this those of you who have been listening to us for 12 fucking years or whatever it is like

remember this was a mainstay topic woody's revenge-based diet, but it's been a coonsage. The question was wrong. You asked what made me stop. It should be what made me stick with it so long. Jackie said I wouldn't. She's like, you won't keep this up. Fucking, like, 14 years later,

she's like, okay, I was wrong. So you don't actually have morals. You just wanted to piss off your wife. It wasn't that. I was wrong. So you don't actually have morals. You just wanted to piss off your wife. No, it wasn't that. I was proving a point. It was a little morals, but yeah. She's like, can we just have steak?

Can we? I would like this to be. I was like, all right, as long as you would agree that I was right. As long as you agree that I could do this pig-headedly. It happened to me in the opposite. My wife got diagnosed with hemochromatosis and it's like too much iron in your blood and so you can't eat meat or fish for four years we didn't eat meat or fish i was i was in there with that because i can't cook for shit so that was i'm just going along for the ride then she goes to the doctor gets a blood test and the blood the doctor's

like you don't have any iron in your blood. And she's like, that's not fucking possible. Oh, it turns out we misdiagnosed you. And so she had given herself a severe iron deficiency in the four years and got sicker. And, yeah, we just missed out on steak for four years. When trusting the science goes wrong. Blood pudding every night.

The child takes off his human costume. We got him again. So were you depressed at all, Celeste, going four years with no meat? Because I would be distraught. Every time we ate out, I would eat meat. But it was rare. But it's only like once every, because I'm working, so it's only like once every two weeks.

I get a steak like once every two weeks. That's bullshit. Oh, it's not enough. I want one at least every week. And you know, chicken at least three, four times a week. You know, I need meat with every meal. Yeah, exactly. I need my protein.

Exactly. And I've, I can convince myself in my head that protein is the most essential God nutrient of all time. And it's like, well, you need meat for this late night snack, too. Make a little steak. Just a little one. Just a little eight ounce filet. Just pop it in the pan.

What? A little half pound steak? Just a little guy. Just a little guy. Yeah, like an appetizer. You know how it is. And you cut it this way to make them thinner like breakfast steak so it's like i'm barely even eating them

i read this thing the other day about a guy who was bulking and he couldn't afford protein so he started buying uh chimpanzee food and uh they're just like little uh little nuggets of protein he's like dude it's this it's the cheapest possible way to get bulk protein, apparently. Look at Zach. Zach, if you can pull up the picture of the 4chan post of the guy who says that he's only eating primate food because it was cheaper, if you can do

that, and the guy posts a body pic. Does he look good? He looks like a chimpanzee, I bet. He looks like he does a lot of pole work, which is what a chimpanzee would be bet. He looks like he does a lot of pull work, which is what a chimpanzee would be doing. I think he even mentions in the shit posting of like, I'm doing primarily

eight-based exercises this week. So lots of pulling. They're not big on pushing, big on pulling. I don't know what the cheapest way to get ground beef is. I keep trying to find a cheaper way. Unless you start with a fucking cow. There he is. Oh, he looks pretty good.

He's no bad for someone that's eating pet food. I remember part of the post being like someone pointing out that it says guaranteed no more than 8% ash. Because you're feeding it to fucking monkeys. They need to do it the NASA way. No less than 4% ash.

No. We will have the perfect macros for you no sooner than 2028. You'll know exactly what to do. I guess I'm the only one of us that's never tried vegetarianism at all. I haven't.

You've never gone on a little spree of it? Fuck no. Absolutely not. Let's stay the course. You cannot micotize this good as mate. Everyone that says that is a fucking liar. When I'm bulking, I'm eating two pounds of meat a day.

It's two pounds of meat a day. That's a lot. It's so much. You have a shitism. How do you shit after eating that much meat? You shit like four or five times a lot. It's so much. You have a shit? How do you shit after eating that much meat? You shit like four or five times a day. You're eating so much fiber. Yeah, that's why he's getting the fiber.

Yeah. If I had that much meat, I would just shit like once a week and it would be like a softball. Fuck. That's awful. I just do one tree limb a week i hate my diet it's so painful i'm crowning it's gonna be a rough one

i had that i'm gonna jerky dehydrator the other day a jerky deal yeah you know those dehydrators and you put meat in them and you make your own jerky so i got one of those the other day and i i made uh two kilos of jerky which is uh i don't know what that is in pounds but i so i made the first day i'm like okay this is sick and i i put in this like this honey honey barbecue stuff and it was fucking delicious the problem was i finished cooking it and i was i was streaming i was like i'm hungry i just ate two kilos of jerky in the space of like five hours my fucking jaw hurt yeah my fucking jaw hurt so much by the end of it and the next day didn't shit next day after that i fucking gave birth to a 14 pound eight ounce fucking little baby boy one of those shits that's almost like

like sedimentary layers as you're shitting it where you're like i know what this is oh i imagine i know what this is the worst part it's like you know like when a dam bursts like when it comes out and it's just like oh oh, I'm glad you brought us to this. We got to talk about the rumors that Donald Trump poops himself. So this originates, of course, from and correct me if I'm wrong, Woody, you'll you'll know better than I perhaps. But it's there was a guest from Celebrity Apprentice, maybe, but definitely one of Trump's shows, print shows, who somehow got around his NDA. I think perhaps in an unrelated way, like something else happened. Oh, the NDA doesn't apply. Well, just so you know, Trump wears a giant plastic girdle and he shits himself very regularly into

an adult diaper, but he doesn't realize he's shitting himself. So people have to alert him and Melania will have to give the poo man a nod and the poo man will come over and tell Mr. Trump and they'll excuse themselves in the room and the poo man has to wipe Donald Trump down with wet wipes. This is this man's story. Now look, I get that if you don't like... I heard a very similar story. I heard it firsthand, the guy speaking and he was an employee of The Apprentice. He worked on it for years and there

was he wasn't the guy that did the actual wiping though. Most of the rest. Yeah, there wasn't a guy that did. Oh, he didn't I didn't know. I wasn't saying that the witness was a wiper. He was referred. What I said, the witness was a contestant, but I heard him as an employee for years. I don't know how contestant, but I heard him as an employee for years.

I don't know how that matters, but the substantive thing is... A few months versus a few years. Fair. He claims that Donald Trump has this fellow who wipes his butt with these wet wipes, and also that Donald is like, oh, I did it again.

Well, you know what time it is. Get the wet wipes, bitch. Like he's almost like nonplussed by his lying Democrats. Don't want to shit your pants. And then they played me a video, which I can't I can't tell if I can't verify whether it's been edited or not. However, he's sitting next to Dianne Feinstein of all people. And Trump is speaking. edited or not however he's sitting next to diane feinstein of of all people and trump is speaking and suddenly you hear a noise like a pooping yourself noise maybe and uh maybe trump leans

a little at the time too and diane feinstein reacts frankly in the way you would react if someone shit themselves next to you audibly she's like she's like she's like she's like shocked at first and repulsed. But she's also like, was that me? I know what it's like. I'll just lean away and disgust. And and so a lot of people are. There's one more.

Oh, please. Adam Kingsinger, a Republican from Illinois in the House of Representatives has also said that Trump smells that he often smells like poo and he's surprised more people don't talk about it there's Diane there she is she looks like an old doll that's been inhabited

by evil and then after that it seems like every picture of Trump where there's like unexplained bulk in his pants it has like surface and i can't tell what's photoshopped i also don't know what pants always look like on a fat person right because he's a big fat man like he's always been caked up and terrible looking in those pants oh yeah you can have fat around your thighs and ass and like in your balls basically he seems like the kind of man that

doesn't really have a lot of fat on his limbs though like he's just he looks like the kind of guy that's just got like a big gout some man tits oh he's got he's got big thighs big fat old thighs it's hard to tell mcdonald's food. And his weight changed throughout the last eight years he's been president. It's had highs and lows. Right before the wave of doo-doo propaganda that was followed by several TV commercials funded by who knows who. They were like, look at this. Donald Trump has special toe pads to keep him from teeter-tottering over forward and they show like these sandbags that are meant to like mark your place when you're

in front of a camera when you think that that's what i know they are yeah yeah they're these little sandbags it's literally what biden tripped over when he stumbled on the stage he's tripped over one of those no what was the one he tripped over was for something else but um i've always seen tape and x on the floor where you're supposed to stand he can't look down yeah he can find the blocking right like where to stand on stage where to stand in a set oh well framing the set yeah yeah sure but yeah why does he have two separate ones like is that like we need one of your feet on either of those probably because you wouldn't want to have just one foot up i don't know it is interesting there are two of them for i i'm with you i'm with you now i don't know some people said it had to do with the lifts that he wears he wears these like high heels basically but would you want those in

high heels no i don't know i feel't like it wouldn't it make it less comfortable you'd be in your end yeah right it'd be worse than and he's clearly standing with not things like this all the time in his like lifts or however i don't know who this arsehole in the oil painting behind him is with his hand on his knee that's donald fucking that's donald trump is that donald trump Is he painted like that? That's how he used to look, frankly. Dude, that is so funny. That guy looks like he ate yachts.

Come on, Woody. You know, when he was like 30, he looked like that. I need to see the picture again. Yeah, yeah. Pull it up again. When he was 30. Of course, it is a flattering rendition of him, but that's what he looked like. Yeah, it's a painting.

That's not the picture. It was a different picture. It is a different picture because I don't think he's ever been that. He never looked like. Yeah, it's a painting. All right, that's not the picture. It was a different picture. It is a different picture because I don't think he's ever been that. He never looked quite like that. I don't think he's ever had shoulders like that. But he wasn't always as fat as he is now. That frame is very generous.

He's spent a lot of years as fat, though. And when he became president, he got real fucking fat for a good bit. He's pretty fucking fat there. Look at that midsection of the cut. Maybe Zach is right. Maybe that is the right picture. at that. Maybe Zach is right. Zach is right.

In the background, I didn't see the rays of sunlight coming down from God in heaven at all. We're blessing him. That's so fucking Trump to take that picture and put it around. The fake time magazine man of the year shit he would do. Dude, he loves that Garish shit. Golfing tournaments that he says he won that he never competed in, like hanging around the clubs and stuff.

That's so Trump. He used a pseudonym, okay? He didn't want to call himself Donald Trump and get all that. Some of you might know me as Jack Nicklaus. I'm really good. Maybe I'm living under a rock. I didn hear about poop pants uh trump it trended on twitter for a while trump are people like actually pretending they believe this or yeah is it like just another like he drinks with both hands he's having neurological failure look he held on to this rail walking down a slippery slope he's going demented i like it

good old-fashioned just slandery papa grant propaganda just go for it you know may as well they said they do the same thing to kim jong-un they're like yeah he's three foot tall and has a fucking micro penis it's hilarious like just send it is it like the piss tapes thing again where they're like he was getting peed on by prostitutes and it's like everyone was like we need to we need to talk about this up next stormy daniels to talk about the shape of his penis we're a serious radio serious television station giving you the news taylor you didn't put any weight in the two hands thing when he always drinks with two he drinks like this like he holds one when that was a big thing someone said that to me

like while i was streaming they're like you drink like trump you've had your brain tumor or something you drink like it's a like it's a chilly morning trying to heat his hands yeah i didn't really care about him drinking with with both hands i was like that's a weird look when i saw the toe pad thing i thought of the forward leading posture thing which is like another sign of dimension dimension runs in his family attacked his father and uh he's attacked his father yeah all right the shadow man dimension man he's drinking water with both hands up next president biden milling around not knowing where he is yeah this is a weird way to drink yeah like people people out of proportion he's probably just nervous and holding with both hands, so he's not shaking hands.

I try to do this to myself. Woody, if it was a guy you liked, would you give a shit? I'll photoshop the left hand out. Look at that. Oh, really? He mostly was drinking water with one hand, and then they got one clip of him looking like a goober

doing it with two. It's like, okay, i guess he does this sometimes but for a while and even when he got a lot of attention he started responding to it he's like they say i can only drink with two hands and he drank with one and it was like really shaky and bad and i was like oh that didn't really prove to me that you're okay it's probably just an old fellow it strikes me as silly like the cool pants thing my dad has shaky hands when my dad hands something to you like his hands are like shaking

he's just an old fuck old people get shaky it should really be about his plans and his decisions like it doesn't even matter if he can walk that's not even important let alone handle a decline well I do want a president who can walk. I don't want to FDR it again.

Really? I'm cool with the chair. Wheel him around. But get one of those Professor X hover chairs. Fucking flex that new technology. Don't ever mention it. Our president has a hover chair and no one talks about it. We'll invent hover chairs no sooner than 2025.

He's just got. Some of those Boston Dynamics legs. Like, you just get a pair of those legs, and they just sits on top of them, and you just fucking... I do like that. He's in a mech suit. Mech spider legs? No, we don't want to appear overtly sinister. President Robotnik. He's, like, walking around with two big levers.

Dude, Trump's got the body to be president robotnik that's perfect i'm taking the hover chair and going magic carpet right what if what if trump just sits crisscross applesauce on a carpet floating around all the time i don't want to see any of our elderly officials crisscross applesauce that's too middle-east and they'll freak out yeah you can't sit on. And he's bowing down to OPEC and they'll freak out. You can't sit on a magic carpet. It's too Arabian. If we're going to take any other country's swag look,

like their formal official wear, the Saudis have it perfect. No other group of people like the ruling class, none of them are half as comfy half as like chic looking as the saudis they have their comfortable hat they're barely they're not putting product in they don't care a nice soft band of fabric holding on their their their nice draping uh headpiece whatever it is big giant white robes. Pristine, clean, comfortable, airy. And then we show up. We got a tie on in the desert. Oh, God.

I'm not there. I'm not there. No, no. I'm going all Scottish. You need to show up in a skirt, button-down shirt. Dude, it's flattering for your figure and your balls swing free. I didn't think I'd be as on board for it, but I like that almost as much as the shirt. I got married in a kilt,

and I like a kilt. It's comfy. Really? Where did you go? What was under the kilt? Nothing. I got a free ball. There it is. That's a traditional way to do it, right? I expected nothing less. For the hill people.

I was informed by my grandmother-in-law that only hill people don't wear underwear. And I was like, well, I am hill people. Do I look classy, Grandma? Is that your Scottish ancestry? And so you fire up a kilt? Yeah. So my wife and I both have Scottish ancestry.

So we fired up the kilt. So you both wore kilts? I like the Scots. She didn't go kilt personally. She just brought a makeup mirror to look up mine during this ceremony. I was like, come on, lady. Commit to the bit.

She glued a little mirror to her shoe tip. That would be hilarious. That's a great idea. Let's have a look. It was really comfy. I'm going to say, a look. How big do you think the room is? It was really comfy. I've got to say, though, it's warmer than you think it is. If you wear a proper kilt, it's hotter than you would think it is.

Yeah, I never thought Scotland would be hot. You're not really getting breeze. And it was like 30 degrees on the day, so it was like 90-something in freedom units. like 90 something in freighter units. I just remember the memes you see online sometime of a British weather girl or whatever being like,

it's unbelievably hot here. It shows the Fahrenheit equivalent and it's like 81 degrees. I could break... Still, 81 degrees. That makes a big difference. 81 is rough like an 85 no air conditioning in the uk is probably pretty unpleasant i don't have air conditioning in any

of their buildings it's because it rains it's all rainy and foggy can you imagine how like hot and humid 85 feels inside one of those 400 year old houses they live in now i know a lot of the homes don't have AC, but professional environments do, right? If you're a programmer in the UK, you've got proper HVAC, right? I would imagine big buildings have to. I don't think they've acclimatized the weather. I think they've just stayed inside since the Blitz,

because they're scared. They've just become pussies. They're a bunch of fucking pussies but not in Scotland though it's a bombs Ohio holy fuck I would like to go to Scotland or really anywhere in Europe but Scotland would be up there seems like a cool place

never been I mean obviously I think I'd hit the big ones first I'd want to see like rome all that old shit that'd be number one that'd be cool is there a ticket you can get so you can just ride that train all over fucking europe really cheap yeah probably dude you could do that like you don't have like a dog yeah you have a job you could do you could literally just like fuck it no one's traveling right now. Take your hockey stick with you.

When you meet Sven at the pub, he's going to take you to like a secret rink him and his boys play. Dude, I might be able to play on to the Italian national team. Oh! Do this a lot. They're like blown away that I understand icing. Like, mama mia! This guy! He's going to take us to a victory against the Swedes.

And then we just get absolutely... Now I really want this for you. I think I'm pushing too hard, but I'm like, just do it. Yeah, just go. There's no reason you can't just go. What's scrapping you down to fucking Missouri winter? That's true.

I'm fucking here in the winter why are you here in the winter man it's shit i don't want to sit around here it's fucking cold wait have you been you've been to europe right slash yeah heaps of times yeah heaps of times yeah i try to avoid i try to avoid tasmanian winter as often as i can what are the good places in europe that you like and what are the places that you're like possibly pick a bad one you're going from fucking missouri man you go to eastern ukrainian crack den and you'll be having more fun there's not a single city in europe as terrible as st louis that's true as far as like those videos of like Berlin or whatever, it's like crime wave, you know,

it's like, Oh really? I guarantee Kiev is safer than St. Louis. Yeah. By any metric, by any metric you want to use Kiev as a safer city to live in than St. Louis.

Yeah. Like cook the numbers. It still won't, it still won't work. St. Louis County is very nice. I live in the county. I watched the internet. Okay. It is a terrifying place. I live in the county. I watch the internet. It is

a terrifying place. The city itself is really scary. I keep seeing these articles about awful things like lots of child murders and pedophile rings and then just the general violence. It's a scary place. I worry for you on a nightly basis. It's not a great city, but we did win

the Stanley Cup four years ago. We have one more Stanley Cup than all of Europe, so you can get fucked there, Germany. Yeah, so everywhere's good in Europe, you're saying, Selesh? I haven't been somewhere I don't like. I've been to France, Italy, the Netherlands, all of the UK. I haven't been to Germany yet and like further east but I've liked

it all what about Spain you've been to Spain no I haven't been to Spain I've heard Spain's really cool I've heard it's good so Taylor I'm on the internet I just found a Royal Caribbean cruise Italy Italy Spain Spain France Italy Italy including Rome and Naples which I think

you'd like. $900. Cruises. What? Cruises are for old people. $966. You have to sweep. Don't go on cruises.

They're for old people. Just rock up there, find someone to stay. Aren't there sluts on cruises? Yeah. You can choose the right cruise. There are loose women everywhere. I think there's basically girls who don't consider vacation sex sex on these cruises, and that's where you need to be. Yeah, that's everywhere.

Just go everywhere. Just pretend you're Canadian and never on a hockey. It'll be fun. That's a solid strategy. Just say you're Canadian. Bring your hockey stick. It still ties in. That's true. I could pass the test of Canada. They start pushing me on hockey. They're like, oh, no Americans care.

So it must be him. That'd be good. I wouldn't imagine. Are Americans actually disliked a bunch over there? Or just is that more tongue in cheek jokey? No. Well, you will see some Americans, like, because Americans, the way they speak, they're very, like, the way they end their sentences, because they go down at the end

of their sentences, they sound very blunt to other language speakers. And so Americans are very straight to the point. And a lot of people, if you're, like, more of a louder American, a lot of people will think you're being rude even when you're not. And so, and you'll see it in, like, restaurants. Like, you'll see an in like restaurants like you'll see an american sitting in a restaurant expecting american level service from a country that doesn't do tips and where they don't give a fuck about service levels they'll get pretty pissed off but it's

like they don't really care i'd be pissed off too one thing i don't like about europe that i've heard is that if you get like a diet pepsi free refills. You're paying for every refill on your sodas, which is fucking communism. Despicable. What kind of bullshit continent can't do free refills on sodas? How is that communism? I'm trying to process the same thing. I'm like, that's the opposite of communism.

No, those pinko, non-soda drinking bitches. I don't actually know how it's communist that's what you do you just go and throw communists at things you don't like and then you sell t-shirts about it it means bad communist means I don't like it no refills is communism

yeah it is not in the land of the free baby you can drink until you get a headache here that makes sense for copacizing your head you buy soda from quick trip of the free baby you can drink until you're get a headache here yeah that's it's for cup the size of your head you go to quick trip you buy soda from quick trip it's like they're daring you 79 cents for 102 ounces do your worst you're walking with both hands that's that's something trump would need both hands for those quick trip giants so cheap you'll have a coronary before you uh make money off it oh yeah

you look at the little side panel and i mean i'm only getting diet soda if i get it and it's rare i've done this but like it'll tell you the calorie count you know at restaurants it'll be like or at gas station whatever it's like oh but the 64 ounce soda can be between zero and 1800 calories and i'll like look and i'll wonder i'll be like all right clearly diet coke that's the zero mountain dew powerade what's the real big spender here who's the winner yeah probably america does like america does the empty calories the best like shit like doritos so you can buy in like a garbage bag size fucking bag. You don't really get that much in Australia. The Doritos bags are tiny.

We don't do empty calories as well as America. That's why I find you don't see as many of those. If you eat enough of those, you become one of those fucking mega-fat people. I'm out of shape. I'm not mega-fat, though. The empty calories, I think, is what pushes it over the line slush have you been to mexico uh no i haven't no dude they i mean i'll be to la that's basically

in mexico first of all it's very hard to buy protein there and even if you order like a chicken dish there's like a hint of chicken and it's all carbs yeah but the Doritos and Cheez-Its and shit like that that they sell, they're like body bags. They're huge. You couldn't ride a bicycle and carry this bag at the same time. But you could literally fit adult humans in the size of cheese puffs.

I know that they... We've said it before, but they're the fattest country. We are not as fat as Mexico per capita. Really? Yeah, they drink more Coca-Cola like yeah but they don't have any clean water do they yeah maybe they're doing it the same reason like they drank grog on can't mexicans drink i think they can but i don't think they want to i think they want how long it takes to acclimate if you're there for three weeks are you still like the water they're in america like out of the tap i wouldn't drink dude i couldn't avoid it i had to take i forget what the medicine was but

something for a loose stool basically just became something i did three times a day that's my life now this is my life in mexico shitting constantly yeah every so often i'd i'd think that like all right i'm getting past this i'm good now like stop taking the medicine that wasn't that was a mistake forced error yeah we do do junk food really well yeah probably better than anybody in the world we gotta hang around i do wish we had like stuff like that here because i hate going to the supermarket and paying like five dollars for like 10 doritos like 10 chips it's because they're tiny and they're they're a ripoff i don't even like doritos i think doritos are the most quintessentially like american chip i can think of yeah but i i hate them for me for my american

palate to eat something and be like there's something off this doesn't taste this is like so artificial like for me to notice that as an american there's there's some devious stuff in there i've had doritos like once in the past decade but it was two years ago and they were amazing what kind those and free that's normal. Those and Fritos are so good. I am glad that I don't have access to them. I am in on Fritos. Fritos are solid. Doritos, no tier.

Fritos are filling. You're at a hotel. It's late at night. All you have are vending machine food options. If you're responsible and you get that smart food popcorn you will still be hungry afterwards fritos are the opposite of that that is a solid fill you up it's dense those smart pop things it's just like it's just a scent it says on the rumor about food yeah so it says in the bag like entire serving 45 calories and it's like why even

waste time eating it just throw this away bag as well you just just to get it the foil is the 45 calories are there any like national snacks of tasmania that we wouldn't know about oh see i'm not really a snacky kind of person so i find it hard to sort of nail it down but we have like the doritos and stuff like that that you guys have they yeah they stuff like chips like well we call them chips but like crisps or whatever the fuck you call them what do you call them we call them chips chips yeah iips, yeah. Oh, no, wait. We call the other one chips. That's right. Hot chips.

French fries. French fries, that's right. Yeah, so we have a lot of that stuff, but it comes in a lot smaller bags and it's a lot more expensive, so you don't really... People don't go out and buy fuckloads of it. It's more of a, like, oh, I'm having people over and I'm going to have a few drinks,

so I'll just get a couple of bags of chips to put out with some other stuff like cheese and crackers and stuff yeah you don't yeah i don't really like in my experience maybe it's just me but like i don't go buy like fuck loads of doritos to just keep in the cupboard in case i get hungry or something like that yeah that's a bad move i always when i do have company over and like i buy snacks and like a meat and cheese tray or whatever like i will find myself overdoing it sometimes like subconsciously and then like the end of the night everyone leaves and it's like that's we got two bags of untouched chips a bag of barely touched pretzels you know meat and cheese tray mostly still there.

And then it's like, I've set myself up for failure. Cause I'm going to, cause what I'm going to do the rest of the evening is I'm going to go, you're, you're already in deep, like just forge ahead, eat as much as you want tonight.

You know what? If you finish this meat and cheese tray, you won't even be tempted to eat it tomorrow. Yeah. I did that on Christmas day. We took over to my brother's house. Like I will call it charcuterie, but just meat and pâtés and crackers and stuff.

And we all just got shit-faced, so we didn't even lay any of it out. And we brought it all home, and then about midnight on Christmas night, I'm like, no, I'm a bit hungry. I ate like fucking three pâtés and like half a kilo of meat, and I'm just laying in bed, the dog's eating off the other end of the plate i'm like so drunk i don't give a fuck whatever your dog had a great evening he loved it he loved it yeah i don't really do pate i mean we have potted meat product and like weird spreads like that but yeah i think of that as like trucker last last resort kind of food i think pate is like uh like no i'm fancy sometimes yeah i do too but i'm talking about like what we have which is like

potted meat product those little tins of mystery meat that are mushed together like i uh i think uh i think maybe i can't remember what game i played or movie or book I read, but I got interested in pâtés. I was like, I ordered all of this goose liver pâté from Europe. Man, I did not care for it. No, I wouldn't imagine. Some of it's good. Some of it's really shit. I don't want to pâté that.

Your mic's popping again. Oh, is it? I think it's slush as it was before. Taylor was talking about overbuying with the meats and stuff. I used to do that at halloween that was like 10 15 years ago but my wife would be like you know we don't need like six bags of candy bars for for this house we don't get that kind of traffic and it's like oh no whatever will we do as if i wasn't intentionally buying myself oh yeah i ate through like this year like a fool i bought candy on like october 24th or something and

because i had it for way too early days before it started and i had i just i put the bag on like my like foyer table near my front door like i was gonna put the bowl there and then have the candy in there and then for like the next it didn't last... It didn't last until I got to the 31st. Because I would just be walking by and I'm just like, oh, a little treat? Why don't I? I'm like, oh, how do you do, Mr. Snickers? And before I recognized what I'm doing fully, I had picked it down until it was just like...

Because it was like an assorted thing with Sn snickers you know uh twix reeses and then three musketeers the fucking loser of the group and before i knew it before i knew it there was just a bowl of little three musketeers in there and i'm like well this won't do i gotta go buy more candy come october 31st first guy here gets a candy corn yeah no three musketeers is it is wait wait hang on is it the one that's just nougat? It's just peanuts, right? No, Three Musketeers is like a mushy...

It's like a mushy chocolate. It's like a dry... What am I thinking? I'm thinking of what's the one... It's like the... It's kind of like Snickers. Milky Way. Milky Way. Milky Way and Snickers are the exact same, except Snickers has peanuts. Milky Way does not have peanuts. Aren't they nougats?

Yeah, they both have nougat and all that. I got to do some candy research. No, I'm positive. I'm positive on this part about candy research. But yeah, Three Musketeers has that whipped part in the middle. You're the subject matter expert of the call. Once a year, for Halloween, I'll usually go a little too hard with candy but i figure like i haven't eaten candy since then it's fine like no no big deal you've been a good boy all year

what's that slush you've been a good boy all year why not yeah i've been a good boy it's my understanding that calories don't even work on some days like if it's christmas thanksgiving or during a ufc fight oh i've calories don't count at on Sundays. Like if it's Christmas, Thanksgiving, or during a UFC fight, you can eat whatever you want. Oh, calories don't count at my grandma's house. And that kills me sometimes. Because she'll just make so much. Actually, it's candy adjacent. She made a ton of fudge when I was down there for Christmas just this past week.

And so I just kept standing up and going in there and just, she cut them into these little squares. She had regular chocolate. She had the chocolate with nuts in it with like walnuts. And I really liked the kind with nuts in there. It adds a little texture to it, a little nice little pop. I love that. Slows you down a little.

Slows you down a little, which I desperately needed. And like, it was, it got to the point that I was like, man, I put a BB in mine. You put a bb airsoft balls in there i ate so much fudge but i hadn't had fudge in years and so yeah i just can't let i can't go on another candy binge for a while and i'm all might be top tier yeah it's better than any candy like homemade fudge with walnuts in it um and in the south we do a thing called divinity uh and it's

just it's pecans it's like white fudge it's like pecans and this uh this confectionary white floofy cakey gooey sweet shit which I'm sure is just sugar spun a certain way and mixed with cornstarch or something. And it's so fucking good. That's way better than candy. Oh, yeah. Man, I want some candy. So hungry. I won't want candy.

Woody Taylor and I won the inaugural Codenames bracket off. We took down team fucking losers. The axis of evil. That's them, not us. That's them.

We're the allies. And I call America. What's the Codenames thing called? Codenames is a game where there's 25 words on the board and your job as the code giver is to say a word that will have your team choose the right words and not the wrong words.

And the board is often filled with related words, like there'll be ocean, sea, sailboat, and then whatever, something else, assassin. You need to give a word that will get people to choose ocean and boat, but sea is the other team's word. So what do you say? Like, how would you get them to choose your words and not the bad words?

And the opposing team is trying to do the exact thing with their team, so it's who can do it in the fewest amount of turns. So ideally, you would give a clue that makes them pick multiple words off the board. So, you know, while at the same time as Woody said, not getting any of their words, because then the turn ends and now it's their turn and they fuck you over. But we play this in our Discord with our patrons

and we take it very fucking seriously. We take it very fucking seriously. Kyle takes it very seriously. I take it so fucking seriously. Kyle takes it very seriously. I take it so fucking seriously that it oozes over and they absorb my seriousness and we then take it seriously. Some people would say it's way

too serious. They would say it, but I'd mute them if they did. I'd be fucking wrong. Because it's my Discord. If something like that happens and Woody and I are on the team and someone really beefs up, Woody and I are like, oh, come on, man. You'd be clicking the word. We didn't even agree on the word.

You do that on Kyle's team. Scorched earth. No survivors. What are you? Fucking damn. Are you retarded? We have to get back on your beds. Someone will jump in trying to defend the guy

and Kyle will be like, I'm speaking to the retarded person right now. Just click the thumbs up. Now, tell me, what do you think the thumbs up meant? No, no, nobody should know. Tell me, what do you think the thumbs up meant? And I'm like, this guy's not going to click anything ever again. That's my goal. competition between our family so do we like different heats and everyone's trying to beat

everyone we're super fucking competitive competitive but one of the heats this year was table tennis and i made two of my nephews cry i was just like you fucking suck, you little bitches. And then Kevin, these guys, they're six. They cried. I won. And then my parents tell me off. They're like, why are you being such a cunt to your nephews? I'm like, it's not my fault that they fucking suck ass at table tennis. Yeah, it's not your fault.

You're a leader. You're showing what champion blood looks like. Exactly. So I eliminated them from the competition. And then the competition stopped because apparently I'm too fucking competitive which is actually win for you they couldn't even handle the heat so they're just pretty clear um all of the people i berated were grown men yeah yes i know we had a grown man one we had a one for the adults later so it was there i got a breathalyzer and whoever could blow the highest on the breathalyzer one they're in a competition to see who could get the most fucked up did you win no i didn't win that one actually i was surprised by that but my my sister my sister

she's like really short and skinny and she was just absolutely wasted so she just came to us all of that she's like oh that's almost like a performance enhancing body to have like a small skinny woman is going to win she's a runner and stuff and it's like bullshit like we bought one for the show so that we could like prove how drunk we are and if you take a drink and then blow into that thing you get a really high score yeah you just pause for five minutes it goes down tremendously yeah because i think i think my dad might actually be immune to it because i've watched him i've watched him take a drink of uh he was he was he had uh gin and tonic and it was it was strong he took a drink and they just blew

zeros and then uh we we tested him again and just all zeros. And he was visibly drunk. And he just kept playing zeros. I don't know. He's just, I think he's like, he has a pattern in his mouth. He keeps one of the lungs clean. Police breathalyzers are better than what we've acquired from Amazon. This one was $350. This is a proper one. $350?

Yeah. Okay, you guys take that competition seriously. Wait, wait, wait. What kind of dollars? Are they real dollars? $300 Australian dollars about 150 americans so i brought one because i got done for drink driving so uh i put one in my car and i was like okay i'm gonna i'll test myself before i drive now because clearly i don't know my limits um yeah i just deliberately drag drive i do know my limits but the uh a tester thing yeah it was like 350 and it's pretty accurate it's accurate to the

to the same ones that the police have i've had a few times where i've tested myself and then driven and got tested and it's the same have you ever won the competition the the drunk off oh my sister did oh i thought you meant this was like a recurring just a tasmanian tradition oh i have i have a i won it yeah i won it i blew 0.36 once i was fucking paralytic i could barely blow into it 0.36 yeah what is what's dead 0.4 damn dancing with the devil if it's.5 that means that your blood is

1 in 20 parts alcohol I think yeah a vampire would get trashed I think it's like I think it's expressed as a percentage so it's less than 1% but if you're half a percent yeah 1 in 200 is alcohol I don't know if this is a global thing or perhaps they have them there But if you're half a percent, yeah. See a 1-200 alcohol on your dick. It can't be good. Yeah.

I don't know if this is a global thing or perhaps they have them there, but in America, if you have too many DUIs, they'll put this sensor in your car that you have to blow into to start the car. So people have all these awful ways of getting around it. Now, I've seen videos of people having their kid blow on it, which is, come here, honey. Get daddy going. Come on. Let the kid blow on it which is come here honey get daddy's going come on

i know a lot of people that have done that oh my god and one one guy has to buy a balloon you just fill it before you go i don't remember i remember a mechanism i don't remember exactly how it worked i just remember somebody had created like a like a fucking mechanism to yeah i remember reading a story and i don't know if it was true or not but a guy uh found a raccoon and then like knocked it out and then had it in his car and was like using it to as some kind of like blow up thing and then it like came conscious again and went like rabbit in his car. I don't know if it's true or not, but I thought that was hilarious. Like a dude getting,

he was like pushing down on him like a furnace bellows, like a fucking bag. Like you've bagged someone in the hospital. And I, and I just, the thought of someone wasting a raccoon, just coming alive, just balling the fuck out of him while he's driving.

That's a very Fred Flintstone of him to have a raccoon whose whole purpose is bellowing out. What was the shitter on the Flintstones? It was just a bird with a big mouth. Yeah. That's awful.

I just remember the one bird you pulled its tail or something and it screamed and that was the steam whistle to leave work. Yeah. i never could get into the flint so he slid down like a brontosaurus his tail into his car i think yeah and then he's yabba dabba doing all the way home yeah and then like he's with his wife and then barney's got that hot wife they're both hot yeah yeah and betty was who's the who's um barney it's uh barney and betty and it's uh fred and wilma that's what it is you ever see the live action version isn't john goodman john goodman fred flintstone yeah it was like a fucking dream but i have seen that yeah i remember uh i would have been like that's probably one of those mandela things that

didn't actually exist and we all remember it yeah oh it happened i was 67 i remember it feels like one of those things you know there's some good mandela effects yeah underwear one always gets me what's it where did that get its name the mandela effect because a lot of people misremembered at one point like uh oh remember when nelson mandela died and then at the time people were like no he's not dead he's still fucking doing whatever he does and so people like oh that's crazy and so it just took on as like a a mass misremembering of an event berenstein bears yeah the berenstein versus berenstein bears and then one with the uh the shack movie where he's a genie? Shazam. Shazam did exist, by the way. No, there was that other guy

that just had a genie movie. Isn't Shazam the one with... Sinbad. Steel is the Shaq movie. He is a steel armor-covered superhero. And I think just, honestly, if you covered Shaq in

indestructible armor like prime shack set him out on the streets like i don't even think it's mandela effect i reckon it's just like people couldn't tell the difference between that and shack actually no this is it we're doing it right now sorry to interrupt the there was a movie called Kazam where Shaq played a genie. The movie we all just remembered Sinbad playing a genie from Shazam. No movie has ever existed where he plays a genie. All right. Well, then Sinbad definitely played the movie where he was like a kid's imaginary friend or some shit, though.

Right. Like where he was, you know, one of those. There's another one where the guy's like, uh, Kazam. Okay. Shit. Okay. I never saw this. I swear that was a Sinbad movie.

Yeah, I thought this was a Sinbad movie. I'm going to look up Sinbad movies and try to figure out why my brain is doing this to me. Let's get to the bottom. Sinbad Shazam. Apparently Let's get to the bottom. Sinbad Shazam. Apparently, that's not real, though. Apparently, that's not real. No, this one is real.

Yeah. Shaq Kazam is real. Sinbad Shazam is not real. Yeah, Shaq is a real guy. He's kicking around. He's making jokes about basketball or whatever. Shaq does exist. Shaq is a real guy. He's kicking around. He's making jokes about basketball or whatever. Shaq does exist.

I'm a Shaq truther. He's not real. He's a series of smaller black men in a robe. It's all camera tricks like Gandalf. I love that take. Shaq, you're a Sha shack believer uh you'll believe anything you've watched the extended edition of the lord of the rings like the director's commentary thing only that yes 100 yes is it is a wicked scene where uh vigo mortensen's talking

about one of the midgets that played one of the hobbits and they're in the boats and he's uh he's got like a hilarious accent and he's like hey hey vigo if i fall in i can't swim just let me drown covered in armor and these little fucking canoes man you're covered in armor the sink like a stone just right to the bottom taylor have you ever seen this still images from from the lord of the rings like it ever seen the still images from the Lord of the Rings? It's in the movie of the midgets. You can see them. When you can kind of see a side profile

and it's like, that's not Elijah Wood. No, there's one where there's just a little midget tucked under Gandalf's fucking elbow or whatever on a horse or something. You're like, whoa! That looks like a fucking doll or something it looks his little face is all contorted and tiny because he can't marry or pippin you can

tell from like without it being close enough because you know like uh dwarves have like a certain shape head like yeah sure but like it's the same as like you can tell an asian person from behind because they all have that like really sleek like black hair the same fucking hair you know you just can't you just know you can't just yeah you can tell what race most people are from behind yeah i can always tell a black guy from behind you guys ah see his black neck clued me in i can tell how tall someone is from behind i could tell by the way he is it takes me less than a second to identify height i can do it instantly somewhat of a savant you can do it on the phone a lot of the time oh yeah yeah you can easily tell when someone's from india on the phone oh i can always tell a black person over the phone i i would love to there's this game i don't know where it is but i see the youtube videos of it and you take like four black guys and a white guy you blindfold them and they don't know each other

obviously and they have to figure out who the outsider is who's the whitey and so they all like answer questions and question each other blindfolded and just so we're clear the white guy he is a black man's white guy um he and he and he is so much better at sounding black and being black than most of the black people they have yeah like for real like he's been down he's got his his hair's all braided and cornrows and shit um but the best was it was all tall guys and one short king and the camera is careful to stay on their faces. We in the audience don't know who the short king

is or whatever, but one guy you could tell he's like a giant motherfucker. Someone said, how tall is everybody? Everybody's like fucking seven feet, fucking six foot eight, fucking six nine and shit. They're like, what sports do you play? Asking this question, that question. The that i knew when i this is how i knew who the little

guy was they asked him how tall his dad was and he was like uh you know about six eight and it's like no no your dad is you know exactly how tall your dad is if he's some giant everybody knows it's it's a question that gets asked every fucking day of your life, your whole life. Oh, he's 6'8 and 3 quarters. You would know exactly. He didn't know. As a toe man, I'd like it. There's this moment, though, where they vote out the giant black guy.

And he's like, what the fuck? Y'all didn't believe I was tall? And he takes his thing off. And he looks. And this dude is so little. He's like Cat Williams. And Cat Williams is looking at him like yeah motherfucker yeah motherfucker walk on

the best though the white guy who's faking black there's a moment where they're like all right now y'all get to vote now everyone's gonna go down the line and say it no no they go uh they go who raise your hand they're still blindfolded raise your hand if you think you just voted out the whitey and or no excuse me if you think if you don't think that you just voted out the whitey and you want to continue the game the white guy votes that's how he's like he's so confident that he wants to continue showing that they can't pick him out i like that he plays another round and then he doesn't vote because it's down to like two or three of them at that point we're gonna start rubbing each other's heads in a minute it's gonna get weird uh that's my favorite YouTube series now. Oh, what? A white guy would be like, $4.50.

Who cares? But the correct answer is, huh? A what? All right, you down. What an absurd show. Dude, I like that. Just call it The Chameleon. And it's about pretending to be a race you're not.

And you just stereotype. I like it. I think it would work for all sorts of groups. Like if you had a non-American not, and you just stereotype. I like it. I think it would work for all sorts of groups. Like if you had a non-American in the group, like anything, like name a fucking thing that makes us different. It's endlessly fun. But yeah, you should do the ads now, eh?

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uh come what are more sayings that have come in it you could probably mix up that as you are come as you are come sail away with me on my river of come uh do we do topic or are there more ads? No, there's no ads. There's more ads. No. Oh, I want to ask Slush. Slush, did you play Arena?

I did. I did. Am I popping again? Yeah. Yeah, real bad. Okay, is it good now? We good? We need a longer mic. Actually, yeah. Oh, hello. Yeah, yeah bad. Okay, is it good now? We good? We need a longer mic.

Actually, yeah. Oh, hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that is good. Okay, so you're going to love my microphone fix here. Okay, so there's liquid in this microphone for some reason. I open it up, and the way I'm fixing it is by holding the actual capsule on it and grounding it out with my hand so that it's not popping.

I am in the ghetto right now this is so there's supposed to be liquid in your microphone no no there's not supposed to be liquid i am i am on what kind of liquid is in your michael microphone definitely vape juice i think you've been busting in that microphone it's the lock and load it's the lock and load that makes sense yeah so what do you what are you how deep did you get into the arena and what were your thoughts uh wait for the first two days i played the shit out of it all right so we've got a team together we were stomping everyone we we didn't we we went on a 50 game win streak we we didn't lose and then we got to the higher ranks and it won't match you against people that are lower ranks

for a good 20 minutes. So we played for nine, actually even longer sometimes. We played for nine hours, and I had eight matches. That's how long it took to match it in. So for me, I think shit. I think it was shit. It's unbalanced. Well, that's fair.

Yeah, but it's like the way you unlock the kits and stuff. You have people coming in just like the motherfucking Terminator against some Timmy with a shotgun. It just makes it impossible to play and enjoy. You can't burst that. To some extent today with the matchmaking, as they rolled it out to more people, the first two days, especially

if you were in that first wave, it was just you and streamers and a few lucky fans. They've opened it up to enough people now that there's enough field of applicants. They also added the gear score, the average gear score of the team to make the teams more balanced. It's like you said, if you're

just starting out in the assault tree and you have some little SMG, you get max matched with if you've been winning your matches that have altans and armor that you can't penetrate and they'll just run run over you it's it's really upsetting it's no fun uh i've played a ton i don't know i'm like level 20 or something i've gotten down to like the ak with the bs ammo like one of the really good kits but i think i'm done now um i'm glad i'm gonna take some time away from it and maybe i'll feel different later on but i think it's gonna be for like warming up your your gunplay for real tarkov yeah that's what i feel like once once they get the like everyone in and they have the good matchmaking i think it's gonna be a lot of fun. I don't understand why they only

let 100,000 people in, if that. Tons of the people didn't even play. The servers were fine, but it just took forever to match. I feel like they just completely balked the launch. I got more gunfights in this last

week than probably in five years of playing Tarkov because you're just continuously in a gunfight and you don't you don't care about gear you don't have anything you're just trying to like for me anyway i'm trying to work on movement and like getting my head shots and getting that ratio high and i do like that you could get like that pvp experience without you sort of having to play tarkov but I suppose like when I first started playing Tarkov you pretty much just had Factory and so my sort of way of playing Tarkov was just load into Factory continuously and just punch on

for 10 hours a day and so I've sort of done that and it's I definitely think it's good for people that are joining now because the game is so fucking complicated that just takes the complication out of it and you can learn how the mechanics actually work

because taking your 20 minutes to put together a kit and then you get into a fight and you've had no practice and you just get instantly beamed by some god is pretty shit. It's a real frustrating game to play. It gets more complicated and frustrating every year.

I've been watching people streaming a little bit, and they added new tasks and new things to do right from the start. There's a new map that you're going to... You're not going to Customs. You're not going to Woods. I feel very sorry for the people that I killed on that map. You can only play it if you're

under level 20, apparently. I don't know if it'll actually lock you out. But my first raid on there that one of the quests is go and go and find this mountain grenade launcher i walk up onto the mountain grenade launcher and there's just people walking in the street just fucking lost and of course i just open them all up i'm just like fuck these little bastards and just destroyed them and i feel bad for them so tarkov like it it's toxic as fuck it it's just built to be abusive it's built to ruin someone on your fun yeah one of the spawns on that uh on that map this is meant

to be the beginner map one of the spawns if you walked forward like two meters there's just a landmine that's a mistake though they're fixing that one of the rooms you open it and there's just a land mine on the other side of the door it just kills you instantly like it's it's a complete troll yeah that is a mistake well i mean it's a big man it's it's it's big enough but there's land mines everywhere there's places you can walk where you just get shot by invisible snipers so if people don't know tarkov at all as you play the game you just get shot by invisible snipers. That's the big inner man, right? So if people don't know Tarkov at all, as you play the game, you probably get stronger and wealthier and et cetera.

And if you've been playing for three weeks and I joined today, you have a tremendous advantage in that your character's better. He runs faster. He needs less food. He has less recoil problems. His footsteps are quieter, right?

And I'm a brand new kid. Even if we're the same talent level, you're going to kick well same talent level i don't know if i said right you're gonna beat me because your character's better and your equipment's better but they have a new map this wipe it's something new where it's only for newer players but that new map shouldn't be filled with deep knowledge things to avoid like well no it's not that. It's not that it's only for newer players. It's only for low-level players. There is a difference, but I think the intent

is that it's for... You're not going to get beat up by Landmark. But even then, once you go over level 20, you can still take your scav there. So you can scav in with a premade kit. And if i'm say someone is that takes a month to get to level 20 and they're just hanging out on that map even if i had a

chopstick i could still kick their ass in their best kit and so i'm just gonna run my scav runs there and just just piss people off because that's that's what i find fun i can't play i can't play with the cheaters that that's the that's the the only reason i didn't play this wipe i i was i'm excited about the additions they've made the armor system the recoil all that stuff it sounds like the game's going to be a real game one day for real but i can't deal with the last wipe there was very few cheaters on the servers i was playing on there was uh it was a lot better but they the wipe before, it was really bad. So I don't know if it's going to be good this wipe or not.

I feel like that made some headway on it, but I don't know if it's going to. It always takes a couple of weeks after the wipe to sort of know. At least in Rust, which is that similar heavy, very punishing aspect to it. The way to fill your bucket is to empty

theirs. That's how these games are played. At least in that game, I can DM the admin or a mod or somebody on their Discord, and I'll be like, hey, hey, will you take a look at this guy? Spectate him next time we get in a fight. This is bullshit. And you'll watch him get banned.

You'll watch him fucking drop dead. They'll go tear his base apart, give you all your shit back. And it's this moment of, yeah, fuck you, you cheating piece of shit. And he gets banned on Steam now. Everybody knows he's a cheater he's got to buy a new account and tarkov you're just i think they do give you that notification maybe if you report somebody they do yeah yeah that has not been a thing for very long though there is like six months

tops i've gotten a couple times yeah but i i find i don't really run into that many if I avoid labs and play. The Australian servers seem to be kind of shit for it. I think people get salty and then they start cheating. But I just sort of bounce around the further out servers from where I am, and it's a lot better. If a game, if a first-person shooter type game, if their main thing wasn't, If a first-person shooter type game, if their main thing wasn't, we've got this game mode, this BR, or we combined platforming and this, if their main thing that they were selling was, we don't have cheaters. It's impossible to cheat at our game. That would interest me. At least I'd know that we're all fucking playing the game for fun and nobody has paid money to a computer genius so that they can shoot me in a goddamn virtual video game,

which is always so upsetting to me. It is. It hurts a lot at E-Targon, though, because the load times and stuff are brutally long. You've got to set up your whole kit again. You lose a lot. That's very frustrating. It's your time.

It's your time that you're investing. It'd be like if you got into fucking putting little ships in a bottle and every now and then someone will just come and break your goddamn bottle for no reason dude the ship in the bottle hobby is so impressive have you ever seen the videos of them like those little tiny smaller smaller-than-chopsticks implements they'll be using to reach in there and, like, fix a fake grog barrel on the deck of the ship and, like, arrange the sails correctly. It looks beyond frustrating. The kind of thing, like, I can't put together some furniture

without absolutely losing it. And seeing someone do that, I'm like, wow. I'd be more impressed if they did it in something different. Like they assembled a tiny ship inside their own stomach. What? They get an x-ray. That's all I want to say. They eat all the ship parts and then create one.

Yeah, they shit out the ship. That's all I want to say. Yeah, something shit out the ship. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, something just a little bit more hardcore, you know? Yeah, that'd be hardcore. That would be real hardcore. I feel like a stationary bottle and you've just got tiny tools is not as impressive as it could be. I mean, have you ever built a model anything?

I have not. Yeah, I think like model airplanes maybe. Like when I was a kid. I didn't really know anybody who was into that. No. I wasn't into it. I think I just built like one. Yeah, me too.

And then I was like, I'm over this. I wasn't good at the painting part. So even if I put together really well, it would look terrible. It's still just gray. Yeah. It's just a gray thing covered in glue just like shit little glue globs you're just high as fuck painting that thing out all that airplane blue

that's my favorite oh i was gonna say i i i see these internet videos of car crashes and they go to check on the guy. Like, is he OK? And he's in there with like an air duster. They're like, bro, you just hit a fucking oak tree. And he's like, oh, what? That shit apparently fucks you up so much. They look like, yeah, it reminded me i had something to make it horrible it's so horrible like you can't even imagine how awful it tastes

maybe they can maybe there's a brand somewhere that that like airheads know of i'll call them that's fun that that like doesn't taste awful but my experience is i dusted my keyboard then i typed and then you know i take i got my finger in my mouth at some point, and it was like deodorant mixed with the bad part of a pecan, and it stayed in my mouth. I was like rinsing my mouth and getting Listerine to try to get the flavor out, and I just imagined shooting a can of it into your fucking mouth and inhaling it. You must. Dude, it must feel great. What's it got in it? It looks great. great oh i don't

know what's in it that does it but the effect that comes is it nitrous oxide oh no it's something much worse for you you guys have nangs in america like uh there's a you know there's a little nitrous oxide canisters oh yeah yeah people do that they have the whole like those are uh whippets yeah whippets have you ever done them before yeah i've never done whippets. Yeah, whippets. Have you ever done them before? No, I've never done whippets. Never the real one. You should do whippets on the podcast one night. It'll be funny as fuck. Whippets are dangerous. You are out

of it. People fall down and stuff. Yeah, do it while you're sitting down, man. But you can do too much. I'll buckle up. No, no, no. You just do one. Imagine if I pull a racing harness I feel really unsupervised and kind of

loosey goosey to me in my high school maybe your high school had the same thing five guys whose entire identity was how much pot they smoked they dressed in Jamaican colors all the time their teeth were Jamaican colors

and they were just a mess They dressed in Jamaican colors all the time. Their teeth were fucking Jamaican colors, really. And they were just a mess of patroli, bad hygiene. Everything about them was I smoke pot. It was their sense of identity. Anyway, the whole group of them got a job at the grocery store. So they could just do whippets off all the cool whip. Not cool whip. What is that?

Ready whip stuff? Ready whip. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. whip um what is that ready whip stuff ready whip thank you yeah yeah and they would just go in the back room and like get a little bit of like 24 ready whips as they put them on the counters and that was why they worked there they just pretty much got paid in ready whip yeah i remember a couple of my dgen friends in like college we were like home for break and so a lot of people who you know just came back to st louis we're all from we all didn't go to the same school obviously and i remember we were having a party at my mom's house

and i came up to like get a snack or something into the kitchen from the basement and i just saw like two of my buddies like huddled near the fridge and they were just sucking all the air out of like two ready whip cans to the point that like what happens if you take all the air out of like two ready whip cans to the point that like what happens if you take all the air out and all the ready whip is still in there like it's on you can't use it it's just you move the top part and it goes that's not their concern that's not where the value is so you know the ready whip you turn it upside down and you press little thing sideways yeah nozzle well you don't turn it upside down you keep it upwards so that you can suck on the nozzle and you only push it a teeny tiny little bit to let the air out because if you like go full-on push it'll even if you're holding it upright i guess it sprays out

yeah i've never always used the canisters and then put it into balloons and then you're like yeah like fuck loads into a balloon and then like inhale the entire balloon that's how i did it i went to a concert where they it looked like they were filling helium balloons but it wasn't yeah that's what he's just like hey listen to my voice oh shit this is the video i was describing Skip to 15 seconds in this video and watch. This guy just crashed his Mustang. The video is called Dude Crashes Mustang into parked car on Ocean Ave in Santa Monica.

But when he gets out, it's like something at a trailer park, boys. There's so much smoke. It's like a cartoon. It happens around 25 seconds. Ricky, what where you're doing fucking whippets in the back of your car again jesus fuck ricky and he does not give a fuck that he just crashed that's hilarious yeah whippets must be a great drug um midi you know he used to work security at that at that store like a home depot type store that that sold those things and he said that sometimes they'd come in in the morning and like

a hobo or whatever had hidden in the bathrooms and then when the store closes he comes out like fucking home alone sticky bandit style and they just find him in the goddamn uh well they were sticky bandits in home alone 2 tale you're right you're right you're right so so they just find him in the goddamn uh well they were sticky bandits in home alone 2 tale you're right you're right you're right so so they just find him passed out and the duster aisle with like six empty cans around him and it's like he had a hell of a night he's been here all night hitting dusters like he didn't make it six feet from the shelf that they exist on like that's the kind of party this is yeah it must be wonderful like i remember i saw that guy smoke toad venom um in that video clip and he's rolling around in like a like a brook i'll say

like a very very shallow stream and he's i think he's saying over and over i love you i love you i love you i love you it's something like that but he's out of his gourd and completely out of control of his body and they're worried he's going to drown himself and what amounts to a three inch puddle and that's what air duster looks like whenever i see people doing that shit they're just out of their minds at that point yeah the only drug i've messed with is weed i just thought it was very short-lived like less than a minute it feels like longer this isn't a drug and i know years ago i mentioned this on the show but it made me laugh in just a minute thinking about it when i was like i don't know seven years old or something at a birthday but i remember for

my birthday party or friends at chucky cheese there were all our understanding of helium and like making your voice silly was just that balloons contain helium like we didn't put the pieces together yet that like yeah the floating balloons contain helium the decorative ones like on the ground contain the birthday boy's grandfather's I remember seeing people being like, I don't know. There's nothing happening. So there's just a seven year old, just huffing, like whatever the father's breath.

Oh, it's moist. Oh, I know. Looking back on that as liquid in this one. Some of these tastes like cigarettes. That's so much liquid in this one. Some of these taste like cigarettes. They're all spitty. That's so disgusting.

You mentioned your friends coming home from college and doing the whippets. Dude, I had that same experience. It was like there were amateur druggies in high school, but they went to college and turned pro. When they come back they're like

putting wheat not weed acid in other people's food and stuff and it's like god damn you guys are next level yeah i knew i knew people that like went off to college as like potheads and then skipped like five steps of drugs and like showed up the next winter on christmas break and it's like oh so you're you're addicted to oxy okay like so so you're not even having fun right now you're just you you need some oh once you run out of oxy money because you can't lie to your parents anymore uh they go they go further down they go to heroin cocaine addicted uh people looking down on crack heads with their monocles, you know. That's what you need. You need like a peacekeeper.

Don't you see a guy scratching a hole in his neck? Scabs were all the same. Yeah. And then the coke people be like, no, we're not. We have jobs. Did you see that we witnessed the return of Frank Underwood this week? I did see that. And it was beyond psychotic.

Not at all. It was a man on the brink of insanity, breaking the fourth wall in a way that I think is frankly unprofessional. Not unprofessional. They brought it back into the show. It was like him and Tucker Carlson.

I couldn't even watch the whole thing because Tucker's doing his shtick. And then he just turns and it's Kevin Spacey fresh off the seventh convenient death of an accuser. Third. Third. OK. He's 30 and 0 in sex assault cases. I'm not even joking.

30, 30 up, 30 down, baby. You've got to accuse him of've got a millionaire not a billionaire that's just silly yeah he was acting like he was gonna run that has money but not i think he might have killed people money so kevin spacey is in fucking characters frank underwood which is a little pathetic at this point at first it was funny but it's been like half a decade or something now. It's been removed. Most of the people watching it are like,

why is Kevin Spacey doing a southern accent? They don't even fucking know. And I think Tucker Carlson at one point goes, what are you doing right now? Are you the character or the man, Kevin Spacey, who may or may not have, you know, whatever. And he's like, well, the lines have always been blurred for me. I feel that

and he goes on to this fucking diatribe. He just put a number, Tucker. Yes, it's no no means yes. Who knows? It's so blurred. In the world of politics, you learn to read between the lines. I think he took blurred. In the world of politics, you learn to read between the lines. I think he took some credit for the success of Netflix, which it's probably

in some way due. I think he brought a lot of eyes. That show was huge. Yeah, but who wants to be a side show of Netflix now? They fucking suck. They didn't at the time. I feel like he brought in the Netflix original content success

yeah part of that well big successes were there on Netflix I don't know to me it was one of the first shows and maybe I'm wrong but I remember it is one of the first shows where you had an A-list actor and Kevin Spacey doing a TV show and they really were clearly

taking it very seriously Robin Wright ends in there too, obviously. It's just really well made, really well written. He's such an interesting character. I guess you'd call him an anti-hero. He's really just a villain. He's not an anti-hero. He's just a villain. The real protagonist is a villain. He's an awful

person. There's two kinds of pain. Get out of here, dude. You're scary. I love this. I think the best one was in when he's like when there's that kid in his office and he walks out and he just like looks directly at the camera and just says

I detest children and then just walks off yeah I feel that so do I man I don't believe you I read the court documents honestly I did read the court documents on one of the cases and what it amounted to was a guy went to meet

Kevin Spacey and him and his girlfriend are entrapping Kevin he's like I can't grab my dick again and they're like they're basically entrapping Kevin with this whole thing and getting a story out of it he's holding his luscious hog out there. Yeah, absolutely.

What I took from the whole thing was that Kevin Spacey is a habitual crotch grabber. He will absolutely grab your crotch without any asking for permission or anything at all. He's going to grab that dick. He wouldn't make a good president. People may dislike my approach, but I know how to whip the votes. When you're a celebrity, they let you get away with it. I mean, they do.

They do let you get away with it when you're a celebrity. As long as you're a good, fun celebrity and you play it right. Hey, I raped her! So what? Yay! Let's party! You can't say that. I bet he could have. He could have said that and then banged his hand on the fucking countertop.

Chop, chop. Season two he could have, but these days it's like, I don't think so. Damn, he was probably upset when it came out and it was like, fuck, we're a season and a half past our best content. They don't need me that much anymore. Ratings are going down. Yeah.

That whole thing still upsets me. Like lost media bothers me. I bet. I mean, you're Kevin Spacey's truther. You think that not only is he not guilty of anything, that he's just an all-around great guy. I don't think that he's guilty of anything that amounts to anything with anybody underage. There's also text messages of that supposedly underage boy that Kevin was on top of.

He described Kevin Spacey's apartment as being like, he went to a separate bedroom, he said, and then to get away from the group of the party. And Kevin followed him into that bedroom, and that's where everything took place. But they show the apartment, and it's an open floor plan. The bed's right there. There's no bedroom to go into. And you can see the text messages of him and whoever the fuck. No, no, no, don't say that.

Don't be too specific about when, because then he might be able to come up with an excuse or a date that he was at. It's like, what do you mean? You don't know when it was? You're clearly framing this guy for something that didn't happen, but he is a dick grabber. Yeah, seems like he likes grabbing dicks.

Yeah. Yeah, we all love him. And if it was Travolta. Yeah, if a grab to dick got us, Kaiser Sose, who really won? I would let Kevin Spacey grab your dick if it meant we got another season. I would let Kevin Spacey fuck Taylor for a good season. I want two seasons

for anal. That's Taylor's contract. We won't budge. I'll let him grab my dick just to say he did. I'll be like, hey. He's only into Taylor. He'd look at my ass and be like, there are some thickets even i will not tread into

kevin spacey is gay check snap i'm gonna get the pic oh this is just this is him joking around with his girlfriend about him flirting with kevin spacey at the bar to get more like i don't more pictures together for Instagram or whatever. And more stories and just having fun rubbing elbows with a celebrity and flirting with him. I don't know if he fucked him. They said they were deleted messages. I'd feel a little flattered if Kevin Spacey flirted with me. Me too.

Yeah, I would. I think we're all out of his age range. There's nothing higher than a compliment from a gay man. Yeah, a compliment from a gay man. That's the top of the line, that compliment from a gay man, and then the bottom is a compliment from your mom. Oh. And then there's everything.

Grandma. Grandma. Yeah. Why does grandma win the time? Because they know bodies. If you get complimented by a gay man, it's the ultimate. It's like him openly telling you,

if you played for the other team, I think you're hot. Why wouldn't a compliment from a woman be the best? That doesn't exist. I was going to say they're very rare. I'm still riding on one from what I'm supposed to say. And they're always based on lies what's the compliment you're right guys are the people that give out the car that's a nice

i'm still there i'm still in that moment with that shirt on oh dude i remember getting getting high on on being like you've gotten so big it's like you don't have to tell me like i remember like getting to the point when i was very young that i was like as tall as my grandma and being like yeah i'm i'm pretty much an adult i was like 10 years because she's like a five foot two woman. And I was like really feeling myself. Like, yeah, I'm the same height as an adult. No big deal. I got fucked on the height front. I'm 6'2". And I'm the

shortest male in my family. Yeah, you mentioned that you're you've got giants in your family. Scottish giants. It's bullshit. All my dad's family are giants. Even my aunties are taller than me. Oh, your aunts? family scottish giants oh it's bullshit oh my dad's family are giants even like his even my aunties are taller than me yeah my aunties they're just they're just all fucking so tall i don't get it at least you got six two though then you got into the regular world still very

tall yeah i don't know is australia they're probably about the same height as america right yeah like five yeah i think i looked it up theia they're probably about the same height as america right yeah like five yeah i think i looked it up the other day like 510 511 is average like for both back hunters yeah maybe i thought we looked it up and it was 5.9 in america or 5.9 maybe yeah whatever actually you know what we did talk about this we talked about how we need to shut down the border and get our height under control because we're getting shorter, baby. These Hondurans, these Mexicans are showing up and they're throwing the average off.

Don't we want that, though? Because now we're just taller and taller than the average. Sweden is laughing at us. Who cares about other countries? You weren't going to fuck those ladies anyway. In your own country, you're end of the bell curve. You're getting closer and closer to the other edge because all these shorties are coming in.

Now, all of a sudden, the average is 5'7". Now, you're like half a foot taller than the average. Drive it down, baby. America gets shorter and fatter. Not those tall Spaniard Mexicans, neither. I want them untas. You don't want a 6'3 guy from Spain. That's not what you want.

No. Yeah, that would... You'd take... Think of how seriously we'd have to take immigration. Like, people sneak again. If it was a bunch of 6'4, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Swedes and Finns who were sneaking into the country, it'd be like, shut this down.

No, we're not going to allow this any longer. I'm looking like a bitch. That's what I have in terms of... That's your mechanical engineer spin, is that correct? M-I-T. I've never heard of Mr. Mitt. None of this is going to work out, I don't think. What is that?

That's why they let them have the tunnels, so only the small people can get through. Send him on his way. I want all Hondurans that are under 5'2". Yeah, but think of how like think about the future of our olympic squads i mean we've got that taylor we've got we're gonna win hockey no we're probably not gonna win well we could we've won before it's those fucking canadians what year did we win oh every every country has been a while yeah every country just

has one of those sports like the kenyans always win the long distance running like you're never gonna win that because they're just like that's their life they just run around chasing zebra and shit yeah if you're gonna bet on a long distance running bet on a kenyan if you're gonna bet on one of those lifting events pick the guy from Northern Europe or Eastern Europe who has the most consonants in his name. And you will win. Those guys know lifting. Oh, you're popping again a little bit,

Slush. Is he? Yeah. Do you hear it? This is out of control. This is a home job, this thing. It's half a marker by now. I'm holding it together. You know um i don't i don't give a shit about grand theft auto 6 probably not even gonna play it but i do remember when that kid hacked it a while back and or hacked rockstar servers and they got got a bunch of images and screenshots and information about the game uh it turned out

that guy was like 17 18 years old and he was already under some sort of house arrest or something for other hacking crimes and he hacked into rockstar using an amazon fire stick and a cell phone yeah i think a smart television as well yeah yeah that's pretty good i don't reckon he's going into a home like into mental health because like they're probably like all right this guy's got a little bit yeah but they, alright, this guy's got a little bit of... Yeah, but they're probably like, this guy's got a little bit of talent. Let's just... The NSA just scoops him up, puts him to work.

You would think so. Get into the hack into Kevin Spacey's phone. Oh, you don't want to see that. No. That's a crime looking at it, I would imagine. But I think they sentenced him to... Life is the wrong way to look at it, I would imagine. But I think they sentenced him to... Life is the wrong way to look at it,

but an indefinite sentence in some sort of medical hospital. They threw him away and then threw the key away. But it's not life. It's an indeterminate sentence. He's there until he's well again. Yeah, they don't know how long they'll live. He's there until he's well again. Yeah, they don't know how long they're going to live. He's there until he's ready to leave, basically. It's one of those sentences.

And it's like, why is he in a mental hospital if he can hack into Rockstar's servers using a smart TV and a fire stick? It seems like a bright fellow. I get the difference between mental illness and intelligence. I think the idea was that he was just like, yeah, if I get let out, I'm going to do it again tomorrow. And they're like, okay,

this guy just doesn't understand the consequences of his actions. Yeah, there's serial killers who have said that. I wonder how he got in. We're praising him as some sort of genius. I've never been impressed by hackers. I fucking hate them. It is so much more difficult to build robust systems that don't get hacked than to hack them

like the same thing is true in like the physical world right if i was like kyle build shit houses his windows break it's like well we fucking needed windows and doors in this otherwise they're un-fucking-livable yeah oh yeah it turns out that one of the employees their password was password that fuck what i'm gonna hire a place with no idiots everyone's got idiots at work it is impossible to build secure systems that don't get hacked at all it is easy as fuck to find some sort of flaw in every system whether it be electronic or physical it's not as impressive people praise these hackers as if they're geniuses and then you find out they social engineered a secretary to let them in or whatever yeah what was that uh that one uh i can't remember which part of the american government it was but a penetration test they just went through

a bunch of usb sticks in the parking lot they hope people just went and plugged them into their pcs at work right that that kind of shit works for that's clever ish you know but i'm not he's not a genius yeah that's so stupid it just works yeah would you plug in a random flash drive into your pc that you found at the park i would not i have oh this art this is how hackers get it done yeah so i found a usb outside of my work once and uh it was it was uh really like at the time i think it was like uh something like 50 gigs or something just a long time ago at that time that's an expensive flash drive like it was like in the hundreds of dollars flash drive and i'm like oh sick fucking score i'm gonna i'm gonna take this i'm gonna use it and i plugged it into my pc at home

and i had two things on it it was uh every season of sons of anarchy in 4k which is fantastic i watched that amazing great fucking show um and then it had a folder that was just full of homemade porn from this old man and it's just like this like solo porn yeah the 60 year old dude just spreading his ass cheeks in his kitchen wearing a maid costume and i mean after this i'm going back to sons of inaki yeah i was like this was jacks taylor man this is bullshit oh no yeah a weird, eclectic mix of bullshit on that USB there was. At least you got a TV show out of it. You didn't have to pay for it in a way, looking at that man's butthole. I did, yeah.

I opened it up and I was like, okay, this is just old man arsehole. How many pictures did you get into it before you're like, I think I get the theme? Like, freeze a pattern. 400 to make sure you know it could have been something good at the end maybe his bitcoin password oh yeah he's hiding his crypto password amongst a bunch of butthole pictures of him and yeah i can kill that's that's security isn't it that is my my xbox login got hacked once back when i was a bigger deal and uh i remember the way they hacked it was this i was already doxxed right so my name and address and stuff like that was on the internet he called up netflix using that information and had netflix give him the last four digits of

my credit card so then he called up microsoft having my name address and he used the last four digits of my credit card to like authenticate himself so then they gave him the password and there was nothing like technical about it or anything he just figured out the netflix employees are idiots and you leverage that and the microsoft employees are idiots and you get it all so he reached out to me or I reached out to him somehow on like AOL and talked to him. And I'm like, why are you doing this? Like I have all this time in games.

I'm like, it's at this like little business that's YouTube at this point. And I'm, my branding, my Xbox password, my Xbox username was Woody's Gamer Tag and I didn't want to change it. You could see it in game. And the reason he gave me hacking my Xbox

login was that my breast smelled like cum. There's no way you could know that. How did you know? Well, I called your doctor and gave him your Xbox login. That's a valid reason, I think. Yeah, I mean, I had it coming.

Wars have been fought over less. He's a real joker. A real devil-may-care guy. That's how me and Woody met. And 13 years later, they're still doing a podcast together. He forgave me, and here we we are i never did give it back oh i thought in this story you were the reason my breast no it's funny if i steal your account

damn that sucks what a shithead that's just he went to prison not it wasn't for me but he also had some um he was also fucking with people's credit cards he stole some outrageous number of like cards and numbers like 5000 and when he got caught for that like FBI investigated him he was convicted

and I think he was sentenced to like some sort of house arrest but he wasn't allowed to touch computers or phones or any electronics until he turned 21. For hackers like myself, it's tough. I feel like you can get one anyway. You just can't sign in. He did.

I kind of sort of contacted him before he was 21, and it's like, eh. I can't get it spicy. He's not 21. maybe he wrote to me I forget there was like his name is Cosmo and that's the only name I know of as Cosmo yeah like

like old Cosmo the God maybe something close to that like he looked like that guy over my shoulder like that Kramer? Yeah. You wouldn't believe it, Woody. He's giving away game of tags.

Woody, you're not going to believe it. I'm getting free stuff just by calling in and pretending to be someone else. Have you, has anybody watched him? First of all, think about this while I continue my questioning, but have you seen any movies or TV shows that are new lately? I wanted to mention to our Plex man that if he could add Eli Roth's Thanksgiving, I'd like to see that. That's the horror movie that came out

this year from Eli Roth where this Thanksgiving themed murderer prays on a town, kills everybody. It looks like he's got an axe. I think he cooks a lady like a turkey. I want to see that. I really want to see Godzilla Minus One. I think I'm going to go see it in theaters. I think tomorrow, like during the

day when it'll be dead in there. I haven't gone and seen a movie in theaters in forever and it's because I let Red Letter Media's YouTube channel affect me so much and they always talk about how obnoxious people are when they go to the movies. How there's like, I think one of them went to see Jurassic Park, like the

OG Jurassic Park. They brought it back a couple years ago and did a re-thing. And he said there was a teenage girl on her phone the whole time. He's like, and I heard her on the way out. She said, that was the most boring movie I've ever seen. And it was Jurassic Park.

And then I hear about people getting beaten up, like some old man speaks up, hey, could you please keep it down? And they like beat him into a coma in a movie theater somewhere. And I'm like, man, maybe I'll just pirate this shit. So I don't really understand the point of going to the cinema. Every time I think about it, I'm like, yeah, but I have a massive television. I have a great sound system.

I have a comfy couch yeah but i'm sitting further away from it you have to sit further away or you'll go deaf yeah but i'm gonna pay a bunch of money to go and sit in some sticky fucking chair and watch a movie $17 i sneak in a burrito yeah that's fair yeah it's the snacks you know you go i go with my wife it's like yeah i want two jumbo popcorns to make the experience and now i'm forking out 100 you know you go i'll go with my wife it's like yeah i want two jumbo popcorns to make the experience and now i'm just forking out a hundred you know it's fucked like you always sneak your own shit in i don't buy um what i do is i i uh and again i haven't been in years but what i would always do was go to like moe's or indian folay yeah no i take a whole i take a

goddamn burrito because you know things wrapped up in aluminum foil and then you just stuff that in a couple i'm all for sticking it to the man but if i see you in my row taking out a whole burrito i'm gonna say something dude i'm with kyle though like it so my whole home record i thought sneaking stuff into the movie theater was buying the things they sold at the movie theater at the grocery store you know so you get peanut M&Ms or whatever, and you sneak them in. Cool. And then years and years ago, I was working at Cisco, and all the boys decided to play hooky one afternoon and watch Star Trek. And we snuck into the movie theater with beer and burgers from five guys.

I was like, I didn't know you could do this. But we did. That sounds awesome. A whole burger. I mean, that's going to be a good movie. You're hyped. You got movies. You got burgers. Yeah, and friends. It was good. You bring a little grill.

The Unstoppable really put it in the script very well. Oh, Weber. Just fire up the camera. I'm still waiting for the coals to turn red. You just want to get a chain grill inside. Everyone's getting dizzy. This sucks. The floor's not level terrible yeah that's how i really when i go to the cinema i always take uh always take beers

because i'm i'm smoking up beforehand so i'm like i go and see it's like hey i'm going with my mates and the the fun of it is getting extremely high before going and then going and then i want a beer afterwards and so you got a stanky b no i can't drink i don't want to piss i don't want to have to get up to piss so even like you're gonna have a no i'm really careful about like when i order my soda at the movies like i'm thinking ahead like i don't want to have to get up to piss and if i drink this 64 ounce cherry coke which is what I would want in a dream world, then I'm going to have to get up and piss.

That's the other thing. If I look over, I don't care if you've got a burrito over there in the aisle, but if I see your cock out, I'm talking to management. I'm sorry. We're all in this together, and that's rude. I don't want to say any old bitches getting fingered. number ones are okay but no number twos all right can we all have movies i'm trying to see lauren bobert's nice ass tits you got a fucking plastic bag over there like borat taking

a shit like dude this it's not it's just a comedy what are you doing you asked if i anyone had seen new movies and it's it's rare that i've seen like a new one i saw uh at my grandparents house with my brothers uh over christmas we got um kill is killers murderers of the flower moon killers of the flower moon yeah it's the scorsese movie about uh indians getting fucked up by people who are trying to you know infiltrate their community and and and basically marry in and into an indian family that has all these rights to drilling land and then kind of knocking off all the indians killing them until they're the sole remaining like pretty much white guy who's got all the all the shit and really cool premise there were some great scenes in the movie like it was a

good story but it was insultingly long i'm not one to complain about long movies i love a long like lord of the rings that's a long story. It needs that amount of time. There'll be a shot, and it's like a 40-second shot of someone just breathing and staring at the camera. We don't need this. It's meant to be a drama. This is ridiculous. Three and a half hours long. If you look at the Lord of the Rings theater version,

it's two hours, 48 minutes, something like that. So it's 42 minutes longer than Lord of the Rings. And it is not a Lord of the Rings style epic of storytelling. It is, it is almost insulting. Like as I'm watching it, I know. Cause we like pay-per-viewed it or whatever.

Like, I know it's going to be three and a half hours long and we're like an hour into the movie. And I'm watching, you know, a three minute drawn out scene that isn't helping develop character. Just like watching fire burn down a farmhouse. And it's like, this is so fucking fart-smelling.

This is so huffing-your-own-fart bullshit. Like, this is... It's a test. It's an indication of a bad storyteller if it takes you an additional hour. He could have gotten rid of a fucking hour of this. And I'm not exaggerating. I'm not being hyperbolic. An hour of. He could have gotten rid of a fucking hour of this. And I'm not exaggerating.

I'm not being hyperbolic. An hour of this movie could have been removed. I will agree with you that his movies are often overlong. The Irishman a couple years ago, it was ridiculous. Hard to get through that thing. I like the long version of The Godfather. The version of The Godfather I watch They take Godfather 1 and 2 And I think they add some extended scenes

And they make one gigantic movie Where it's all in the same Chronological order Because both films bounce back and forth This is one chronological order all the way through Without the bouncing back and forth I've never seen that Five and a half hours

It's called Killer of the flower moon yeah it's a neo it's a leonardo dicaprio movie that just came out it's um in theaters now but i think you can rent it on apple um i think it's an apple produced film maybe sounds like it's it's still entertaining like the the core of it is good but like it's i was getting frustrated watching it because so much time was wasted. So, you know, actually, Woody, you would hate it. I would hate it. Dude, I get fucking angry over YouTube videos with bad pacing. My wife and I watch fish videos together.

This is about coral reef tanks, like aquariums. I thought you meant just like fish swimming around. It's like a background. It's not far from it. I know what it's like uh background and you know we're there to learn new things or see equipment reviews or whatever and just watch and learn okay the whole like coral reef aquarium thing the talent level of those youtubers is very low compared to say gaming or the other things you're watching like in gaming man it's been intensely competitive environment for 15 years. These guys are good. They're all professional communicators and practically comedians in that

space in the fish world. They'll spend two and a half minutes telling you what they're going to be telling you in this video. And I'm just like, ah, you fucking suck. It's been 300 seconds and i don't know anything new you're just talking about what you're gonna talk about you're thanking people

you're going back around more about that later never more about that later right now is the time to tell me what you want to tell me they're often awful there's like four people there were scenes in this movie where like let's say i'm a character and i'm telling slush another character hey you need to be wary of this guy joe uh smith he lives on that farm over there and his wife just died and i think he had something to do with it and this and that and this and that and i keep explaining it to you and then the next scene you slush tell the whole story to kyle the whole thing again like it doesn't even cut in at the end where it shows slush talking to kyle going and that's what taylor said like it's the whole thing again it is so it's so fart smelly. He's smelling his own farts with that movie.

I watched a good movie yesterday, Salt Burn. Have you guys heard of that one? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I haven't heard of this. Is that the movie where the guy eats the cum off the... We sent that to you in conference. Is that the same movie

where the guy fucks the grave? Yes. Alright, let's continue. It is... You've ruined it. I meant to! It's about two private school kids

that go to Oxford, and it's just got... There's one kid, he's, like, a scholarship, like, poor kid, and he just sort of... He's trying to get in with these cool kids and be, like, part of their, like, essentially, like, this British royalty, like, Viscount levels of fucking Castle Rich. But it's just...

It starts out very placid and then it becomes just fucking unhinged like i just didn't see any of it coming like some of those scenes you know i'm just i like the eating cum it just comes out of nowhere like i'm sitting there just watching this i'm like oh this guy usually does why is he eating no and how much was there it's just but it's so visceral the way he does it like he it literally shows like this guy wanking in the bath and then after like he gets out of the bath and then you hear the bathtub draining and then it shows the plug hole in the bath and then his face just slowly lowers to it and he just starts licking the plug hole and he's like but it's not in like a oh yeah

it's like he's fucking making love to it it's fucked what is the point of is it like is that like a character building to show what a fucking scary guy this person is fucking weird psycho and it's yeah he's just he's just psychotic so i uh so he ate his own cum but he didn't even do it no he ate another bloke's cum oh he ate another bloke's cum but he didn't even do it. No, he ate another bloke's cum. Oh, he ate another bloke's cum, but he didn't do it from the tap. No, no. From the plug drain. Yeah, from the plug drain. That's even grosser.

It's near the tap. It's strange. It's near the tap. But now his meaning is penis, Kyle. It's a pretty interesting watch. It's because all the shit is just so out of left field. You never see it coming, and it's just fucking weird watch though it's because it's just some of the older shit is just so out of left field you never see it coming and it's just fucking weird it's worth a watch i think i i know about it because it's good it's it's fun it's a great experience

found out about it because uh it was google trending um like something like what is what is the controversial scene salt burn and i was is what is the controversial scene salt burn and i was like what is the controversial scene in salt burn and what is salt burn and i clicked it and and it was that and then i guess you know at the end like someone i mean like one of the dudes dies and the other dude fucks his grave or something like like i think literally like fucks his grave like the dirt and the cock in earth like it's laboriously long as well like he's loamy soil

cocking the freshly tilled earth I would have a hard time finishing in that scene it's very loamy Woody you'd love it it's so fucking funny I shouldn't have done this in December where couldn't he die in June I wish I brought a balloon and some whipped cream

yeah the rainy day so what is so is he fucking it like he's fucking the ground like or is it like a love this guy's come and then uh and then later the guy dies and then he's just fucking now he's just fucking his grave but i don't know because i just this guy's just so unhinged you just can't even really tell like he's he's his character is just so fucking weird you can't tell if he loves him or he wants to fuck him to death it's uh it's very strange is this a comedy is it an adventure is it a mystery um maybe i'm just a sick fuck but i thought it was hilarious probably a thriller it's a thriller yeah okay but it doesn't start out as a thriller it sort of starts out it, it's just as like, it's not,

you don't really know what's happening until it's like right in front of you and you're just like, he's eating cum! And then it's like. Comes out of left field. Yeah, and then you're like, it's a fucking weirdo. Is he just like a super repressed homo or is he like. Dude, you are not a repressed homo if you're on your knees in the shower with another

man sucking no no no no he's not he's he's doing you're all in now this guy had leaves and then he like sneaks in there and eats his cow yeah yeah but it's wasn't gay about that chill yeah let's just clean it i don't know you're a hateful shower that's what i say it's pretty it's pretty gay yeah it is good boy yeah um i like movies that have i like movies that have twists like that and i like that if especially if they haven't been spoiled for me that's what i don't watch many trailers now i only watch trailers of movies that i plan not to see and that's what was so good for me i think because my wife was like have you heard of this movie i'm like no i've never fucking heard of it and she's like apparently it's really weird we're gonna

watch it and so she had probably seen some of this shit i did not see this shit coming i was fucking a super hungover and just completely boggled by this it wasn't a good hangover movie you got a headache and you're watching honestly it fucking just made me nervous to exist to be honest like i'm in a bad mood and it's already i already had the fear do you guys know what the fear is is that a thing in america no oh yeah we're like you're like yeah and you're just like fuck what did i do last night i have no memory of this my body's still working through the poison. How did I get home? Did I run over three kids?

You know, that kind of shit. That's real, man. Jesus. If you like twists and movies that kind of change pace suddenly, have you ever seen Bone Tomahawk? I recommend it to everybody. That's a good movie. All right, so don't look into it at all. You do want to see it, I promise.

It's a Kurt Russell Western movie from like eight years ago. And it starts out as a very cool Western that slow paced and, and lots of conversation between him and his fellow Cowboys about Cowboy shit. And it's a little bit like a movie called the searchers from back in the day with John Wayne, where a girl gets kidnapped by Indians and we meet the boys go to save her from the Indians and it's essentially that but then about three quarters of the way through the movie it really shifts gears into a completely different genre of movie and it is very shocking

and it is one of the most visually shocking things I've ever seen in a movie especially since it comes out of nowhere it It's like things had been violent, but then things got gory out of nowhere. And it was like, whoa, whoa! And it's like a roller coaster when you get to that top and you're starting to teeter off and there's no going back.

You're stuck in this scene of craziness for a solid minute. And it's wild. It is a very impactful scene uh movie what's it called again bone tomahawk bone tomahawk that's a cool name so it is a cool name yeah i think i'm gonna change my name to that in real life what is that like i was gonna ask slush what is that like potion bottle you've been holding in front of yourself that is my microphone i told other boys before it shorted out because I've been vaping next to it.

And so I'm holding it to ground it out. So the electricity is not making the buzzing, clicking noise that my microphone has been making for the last hour and a half. That was like some weird little bobble or like, because the other time I was taking a cork. I'm like, what sort of decorative jar is he holding? Yes, that's i've been working on that mr soft sorry my christmas present yeah it's an anal salve yeah it's a salve but i've been i really wish that you would get into for all mankind with with woody and i so that we could you know chit chat about it sounds good

but uh yeah i know you keep saying that. It's actually one of the straighter shows on television. Not a lot of gays on there. Yeah, yeah. I'll only watch a show if... Early on in the space program, they decided that homosexuals in space wouldn't work, and they rooted them all out.

There is one gay woman. They're both chicks, so it's cool. If you're going to a new planet, you can't bring gays with you. You need to be firing out babies the second you get there. No, you don't want babies. You're trying to populate a new planet. No, you're not trying to colonize. You're just trying to do a job.

What if you have a baby in the middle of your science station? We were here to test rocks for fucking googly goo. We've got enough food for five people. We're trying to test rocks, taylor's going number three over there shooting people yeah yes little taylor he's gonna be working here too how old is that young man four days still talking yeah yeah yeah your marshall if you're going to space for one of those missions if you're a populating mission can't allow any gays on there dead weight if you're a research mission maybe safer to use all guys yeah no because then if you then you just have all women

become like flamingos all women we're trying to get back. They're lost. That's why we're using... A man is going to drive it from Earth. Because a non-gag is up in the ship. Pump the capsule and it'll just be fucking Mardi Gras. These lady astronauts are going to be in control

the same way that you're in control of, I don't know, a roller coaster. You're on the ride. There's a man back there with his hand on the lever. Don't worry. If you want to get them back, as you say, then I want the gals who eat 40% less food.

Look, if they start eating too much food, we can start... Oh, gal. What are you doing? What do you say to the household if anybody's getting chunky? You start doing that to him on the spaceship those gals will thin out quick yeah going like to a fat person very based very red pilled we're manning the red pill mission to Mars. The red pill is fucked. I would only send hot women to Mars. That would be...

That would be take with the red pill stuff. We'll be like, I don't know about a lot of this stuff. Seems dumb. But they talked about how bad fat people are. And it really started resonating. And I'm like, yeah, he's in. If Andrew Tate talked about... Does he talk about fat people at all?

I'm sure he hates them. He's very fit himself. Who are we talking about? Andrew Tate talked about does he talk about fat people at all I'm sure he hates them he's very fit himself who are we talking about that guy hates everyone I'll do some research what is he doing now still telling people not to look at porn while running a damn girl business his most recent update

was that his mum had a heart attack around Christmas and then he applied to the Romanian government to be able he applied to the romanian government to be able to go to the uk to be with her and they denied it and then he had a massive cry about it i'm sorry interrupted you andrew tate thinks fat people are losers and he wouldn't give them cpr if he saw them dying well those are those are first two quotes i found all right you know i haven't listened to anything this guy's been saying, but maybe I've been in the wrong. He can motivate

me. The Paul brothers have called out the Tate brothers to fight. Apparently, both of the Tate brothers are fighters. One was a world-class kickboxer, and the other is also trains. He's the light work, I guess. I think that's a win-win situation

for humanity. i need a good guy i need a good guy it's just two bad guys four bad guys i don't think the paul guys are are kickboxers though i do not know yeah so i think it would be an mma or boxing uh both the paul brothers have been like if it's kickboxing, we lose. There isn't going to be a good fight if it's kickboxing, that rule set. It would have to be boxing or MMA. Yes. Americans, why? That won't happen.

They offered him $10 million, which to me makes the Paul brothers win. Plus, we won Vietnam. I will bet money that that doesn't happen. That feels like, to me, one of those things where they're just talking shit. They're always fucking talking shit. I've changed my mind a little bit, shifted gears a little bit,

on Conor McGregor, though, because we've been talking about how his inactivity and poking him with a stick do a thing. I think he's the one who's been trying to be active, and they've got some very specific lane they want him to be in or some timing that they're trying to fulfill because he just seems more and more upset that he's not fighting. And he's talking about it a lot. So the interviews I saw, he's more and more upset he's not getting paid enough.

And, well, that is the interview I saw. He seems like the kind of guy that would just fight for any reason, though. Like, he's down the pub, someone pisses him off, he's fighting. I heard him say, no one in the history of the UFC has been treated as poorly as I have. He's not talking about money, though. That's how I read it, yeah. No, he's upset because he's been trying to fight for a while, and they keep sidelining him, and they won't give him these fights

because they, I guess, need to promote him in a certain way to be profitable or they have some idea in mind of what they want him to do. He has to fight Chandler. I mean, I've seen him talk about money. He's basically saying he wants to get paid. He's like, for all I've done for this company, I should be getting paid more. This is really what he's paraphrasing. Okay.

That's not what I've been taking from the recent interviews at all um it's been that he really wants to fight and and he's saying either basically make me a ufc fight or let me fight pacquiao because that's what he wants he's like and and he seems like he's spinning wheels and he almost said it out loud he like stops himself he's like i'm trying to have a fight here before it's too late you know like while i'm still me you know he's trying to and and he's running out of time i think the the months have turned into years and the years have turned into more fucking years since he's have some and he keeps talking i know it's bullshit and he's like i want to get back in there i want to face the best competition in the world i want to i want to have five fights and he's like no you don't you don't

want five more fights against the best. I heard it today. He said he wanted 100 more. Today he said, if this was boxing, you'd set me up with somebody who wasn't so good when I came back. You wouldn't throw me right into the lion's den of the top five. This is MMA, and that's that. But still, I guess it's got to be Chandler. If they throw him in against so much shit,

and then he's not as fit as he once was and he loses he's just fit yeah but it's like he hasn't fought so long like what if he does lose that they've lost a massive asset if they throw him in against like someone good and he loses they could just be like oh yeah he was just a better guy in the day and then they can use it again you know they don't see it that way. He needs to win his next fight or he's done, I think. I don't think he can take another loss and then continue down the road. He needs to win his next fight. I think they should throw him in against a Diego Sanchez or a Tony Ferguson type.

Yeah, yeah. Bad. Just sacrifice someone to him. Yes. You give him a warm-up fight, and then four months later, he has another one. But not like the best of the best, like a journeyman, a guy who's maybe tasted top ten before, or maybe he is top ten.

Diaz works. Diaz is a lot of the fuck. Conor smokes Diaz. You just put him in the way of someone that's like a rising star. Neither of us. Someone that's going to break into the top five, and then you say, okay, before you get into the top five, you've just got to run over Conor McGregor.

Yeah, I think Slush's idea is better. And I don't know that he smokes Diaz. I will admit Diaz is washed. He lost to which Paul Brotherly? The younger one. Thank you. Yeah, he lost to Jake Paul. Diaz is not the Diaz of old. Okay, the younger one. Thank you. He lost to Jake Paul. Diaz is not the Diaz

of old. Okay, so we agree. He has no idea what Conor is. All we see is Conor is a drunk guy riding on a bicycle. We haven't seen Conor fight effectively. I saw him knock his sparring partner out the other day. I saw that. I see his physique.

He just knocked me out too. That doesn't mean Conor's Conor. I see his physique i knock me out too that doesn't mean connor's connor i see his physique staying good even though he's now being tested staying big and fit and yeah he looks old he's getting old he's in his late 30s now he drinks he's irish and it's a flash it shows every wrinkle and and he's an older man he's wrinkled up he smokes cigars he drinks whiskey and he's an older man. He's wrinkled up. He smokes cigars. He drinks whiskey. And he's a pale Irish fucking white man. He's not going to age well. Plus, he's been losing his hair for five years at least, maybe more.

But I think his physique looks good. And when I see him move around, it's like, that's a professional fighter. Okay. I don't think he's going to go in there and contend with Islam fucking He-Man Makachev. Yeah. He'd fucking destroy him. I don't think he's gonna go in there contend with islam fucking he-man makachev yeah i don't know to me it's a big question mark i don't feel like you can watch him in sparring or anything the dude hasn't had a good fight when's his last good outing and i don't want to count cowboy oh um 2016 or something yeah probably How old is he, like 40 now? No, 37, I would say.

Oh, okay. Yeah, he's like a couple years older than me. He's washed. He's going to look like Chuck Liddell in his comeback next week. 37, 38, that has to be fucking old for a fighter. Especially he's light. He's in the light weight classes. He was at his best

at 145 and 55, and you have to be young and fast. If he was a heavyweight, he could be older. Makes sense. That's true. He fought for so long at a lower weight that putting him

into catchweights to go higher, he's probably fucked. Connor has power. He always had power. 145, 155. He had dynamite in his hands. At 170 or 185, I don't even know what he'd fight at now.

Everyone has the power that Connor did. He can get knocked out now. He won't have that power advantage at 170. Oh, he can't. He wouldn't fight. What he'll fight is... Well, he's going to fight Chandler. It's done. There's no getting out of it. Chandler won't allow them out of it. Chandler hasn't fought in

two years waiting on Conor. They agreed to fight, and the fifth-ranked fighter in the world hasn't fought for two years because Conor said he would, and so he's sitting there like, fucking waiting. It's pretty retarded that you can stay at number five after not fighting for two years. The whole ranking system is dumb as fuck.

Yeah. You should have to have fought within the last year or something to be eligible. I want them fighting weekly. That's what I want to say. I want a proper fucking tournament going on. We'll run out of fighters quick. That's true. The NFL will be playing every week.

We can breed more. It's fine. The NFL, they play every week. We can braid more. It's fine. There's fucking heaps of them. Heaps of drunk cunts at the pub want to fight. I would be happy with two, and I'd be thrilled with three fights a year, and you get it from almost no one. But there's a few guys out there that do run around and fight a lot.

Do you think they're airing too much on the side of not fighting? Because fighting every four months, three times a year, that does not seem prohibitive. That's what you do when you're up and coming and you're trying to get as many fights and as much money and renown as you can. I think it's the training and

the Wayne Regiment is what fucks them because they're dehydrating themselves. They're fucking their body. It's very hard to come back from that. You can't just fight next week because you've just fucking your body so much. And like you said, they spar hard and train hard for like 12 weeks, eight weeks leading up to the fight, and that's rough too. Yeah.

If you just cut off the weight limits, just open, and then just fucking fight every week. Go for it. Just free for all. It'd be interesting to see who the toughest guy is. That's how UFC used to be. It started without weight classes. It's going to be the biggest guy.

There's no way that a middleweight is going to beat the best heavyweight. But if he's fighting every weight, he'll probably have a heart attack eventually. They did. Jon Jones just did that, right? Jon Jones, didn't he always...

Isn't he a heavyweight? He was a light heavyweight his whole career, and then he went up and choked out the heavyweight that stood before him in what was a minute. It's that picture where the guy looks terrified, and John Jones is walking away going, shh. And over his shoulder is a choked out gigantic black Frenchman

who looks scared. Gigantic black Frenchman? Yeah. I don't know. I would... Oh, Nganou? Is that his name? Surreal Gagne or something close to that. I'm bad with names, but that's... I was trying to jump in. No, you did great. Nganou's a person, too.

Thank you. He's a fighter. He definitely is a black god of fuss. Dude, his style. It's hard to define. He's got heavy hands. Heavy hands. That guy's fucking limber.

Quicker than he connects. With a difficult to define fight style. No, I don't think the biggest guy would be the toughest guy. They've done free fights like that a lot. So in Pride, they used to do more freak fights than they do in the UFC. It was in Japan. And they'd have big guys fight little guys.

Hoist Gracie would fight sumo wrestlers, shit like that. And the big guys didn't win much. I always like those 2v1 fights where it's like two little guys against like one massive guy i haven't seen much of this what i have seen there's a wicked one where a guy's like wearing a suit and he fights like two little guys and he's just like beating the fuck out of him yeah he's wearing like a suit tie i saw a fight in pride so back in the early days when people were still figuring out like how to fight and what was good this guy shows up in a gi right which is the karate pajamas probably everyone

and he's in pride and he's fighting and because he always trained in a gi he was used to using it as an offensive weapon right grabbing his own sleeve choking you etc you know he would just they like untie their belt and start wrapping the i don't know what the shirt tail part of the gi is called but that they'd wrap it around your arms and use it okay well he gets like five minutes into this fight and he realizes that the gi is helping his opponent more than himself so he's like fuck i've got handles all over me they're grabbing me they're controlling me i need to so mid-fight he starts taking his gi out the guy knocks him out while he's getting undressed and the fight's over that's it no that's sporting i don't like that

that's what i said and then i was training at the time everyone else in the gym was like no you're an idiot it's fighting there's no timeouts in fighting that's just how it is. I don't like that. This is one of my favorite videos. It's three women versus one really fat guy in MMA. He tuckers out pretty quick, but it's still pretty funny to see three gals going at him. I like freak fights. Instead of Dana White doing this fucking slap,

whatever the fuck it is, I wish he had... According to him, it's the biggest sport in the on the on the planet um says that wait yeah like maybe for like like the biggest sport in like half skip tiktoks maybe dude these women beat the fuck out of the fat guy yeah at the end he holds up it looks like there's three teeth and they're still connected i haven't seen that before beat the fuck out of the fat guy. Yeah. At the end, he holds up... It looks like there's three teeth and they're still connected. I haven't seen that before.

Maybe he had a piece that goes... Sometimes there's a... A lot of hockey players have that. He could take that out for a fight. Not this guy. The fighting that I... I'm not sure if I'm interrupting anyone, but the fighting that gets me all wild is the 5v5s. If you've seen

that stuff, it is brutal. It's good fair fights, five at a time, for about under a minute. People kind of pair up and find fair fights. Maybe we're not all the same size.

After one minute, somebody's lost. Now there's a 2v2 and that guy quickly loses now there's a i'm sorry a 2v1 now there's a 3v1 because they're short and at the end it's like 4v1 and it's just wrecking somebody and they when one guy valiantly tries to take on four i want to be like take a knee tap out I tried to fight five guys at once and I was about 21 I fucking certainly did not

I was walking down the street and five guys jumped out of a car and one of them I sort of had my back to them and I heard slapping footsteps running up behind me and I was like, oh, fuck it. The clowns?

No, just like, you know, the slapper footsteps like running behind you. You just run to them. I just imagined the shoes. I pictured five clowns getting out of a very tiny car and the slapping and their big oversight honking. Yeah, just beat the piss out of you. That's all funny now.

I got kids flying out of my nose and shit. Yeah. I want to know how we all fit in this car. Because we're clowns. One of them hit me and he hit me in the nose and broke my nose. So from then, so I'm fighting with like a broken nose

and all five of them were just wailing on me. I didn't go down to the ground but i did not definitely did not win you cannot win a 5v1 i don't care how fucking big you are but that's true there's just too many hands to block yeah all i did all i could do was just cover my face like i was trying to throw punches and it was just like the second i moved my arm throw punches just getting punched in the head repeatedly did they rob you no no no they didn't knock me out or anything i just they eventually just got back in their car and

ran away so he hadn't squirted him with that flower he'd had yeah i mean i probably want to touch me i was like comedy blotted shit after i punched me right in the mouth and then put 30 yards of tied together bandanas out of my nose i had a co-worker who won a 3v1 so the co-worker wasn't even that tough like he was a computer programmer but he was kind of big and he's fat but big and the people he was fighting were small and there were three of them and somehow they like got on top of him and he's like belly down on the pavement. And there's two guys on top of him. And they're like ineffectively hitting him. And he realized like, but they're small. So he just stands up and goes like that.

They both come off and then like reset the fight. And he ended up like it's coming out on top. I like those video game fights online where like not like a real fight, but it looks like a video game where like the big guy will realize nobody knows how to fight there's one video of this of a guy big guy kind of fat but also like mostly big like a football player wearing a hawaiian shirt with all the buttons down and like four guys are coming after him and like early in the fight he starts throwing like hold x for power attack style huge like you can see these punches coming a mile away and he's just hammering people with it sometimes like hitting them with part of the forearm and like knocking them back with just the

amount of force those are fun amateur fights are honestly for me for me fighting as a sport amateur fights are more fun as fun to watch for me as professional fights whereas if it was like hey do you want to watch this minor league hockey game it's like no i want to watch the guys in the nhl the best of the best like show their stuff football every other sport you want to watch the best of the best fighting amateurs can be the absolute best fights. Yes. Yeah. They're the most, my favorite fight is this.

It's when one guy's tough and he very much wants to fight. And on like a fighting talent and toughness and physique scale, he's like a seven and a half out of 10, right? A guy that most people wouldn't want to fuck with, but it just so happens that the other guy is a sleeper, right? He's a regular person who barely wants to fight.

You know, and the one I'm thinking of in particular, all the tough guys, the actual tough guys, friends, are like, you don't want to do this, bro. You're making a mistake. Don't fuck with Louie over here. Louie's a fighter. And the guy's like, I'm a fucking fighter too. I want some.

And it's like, all right. They're all like, okay. So the guy comes in and he's squaring up, right? So like he's got his hands up and it's like the sign of a guy who's maybe been in a fight before or even had some training. And the actual fighter is just, is it non-plus? He's like not excited. He's okay. And the guy goes for a fight and he immediately head kicks him.

That's his opening movie he immediately head kicks him that's his opening movie head kicks him the guy the semi-tough guy drops and it's just like fuck he had a hole in his defense and the other guy spotted it immediately executed i like saying a i like saying a guy tried to fight and then it's some nerd and then it turns out the nerd just knows like some kind of obscure type of kung fu and then just pulls some ridiculous people and just fucking executes them immediately. I went to school with a guy who was really into like his martial arts and stuff and he did all the ridiculous ones like Bushido and stuff like that.

But he knew how to do those like big like fucking sweet chin music kicks and shit like that. I remember when we turned 18, we went out to town drinking and we'd all just graduated from high school and we all got fucked up. And some guy had something to say to him and he kicked him in the face and it was just amazing because this guy's the biggest nerd ever. He ended up going on to be a lawyer and he just looks like a fucking nerd and he just sweet like a fucking nerd,

and he just switched in music, this random dude in the club, and it was just awesome. Dude, if you have the flexibility. If someone stood there and presented their chin to me, like a six-foot-tall man, it was like, kick me in the face. I'm like, can we try this a month from now? I'm the new guy. I probably have more chance of kicking myself in the face like a month from now. I'm still probably flexible enough to do that.

I probably have more chance of kicking myself in the face than being able to kick someone else in the face. I probably wouldn't do it either. As you age, you guys are all young, but athletic ability is taken from you, but you're not notified that it's gone.

You think you're the same person and i'm like yeah kicks to the head i could do that i probably can't i'm dreading that like i'm wondering what the first like physical activity i'll jump back in and do where i'm like oh no injuries that would take four days to heal now take two weeks yeah the first one that did it to me it was uh when i was about 30 and i was like i'm gonna start skateboarding again and i fucked my back so hard like i spent two weeks just sitting on the couch just eating fucking uh eating painkillers and um and uh fucking what are they called the valiums as well just eating painkillers and valiums it was so funny my wife comes home after like two

weeks she's been at work like this whole time and she's coming home every night just seeing me fucked on the couch and i'm like i've given up smoking you know i've had a smoke in two weeks she's like yeah you're addicted to a valley of dumbass much more dangerous in the immediate future addiction yeah but yeah it was it was skateboarding for me did you at least get a couple cool kick flips in before you no i'm because like i skated when i was like 16 through like when i was around 16, like a few years around that time. And I was like, you know, you're indestructible when you're at that age. And then I tried to skate again at like 30.

And I believe I did like, I tried to Ollie once. And then the board did that thing where it just sort of like slips out from under you really quick. And then you just pile drive your coccyx into the ground. And then it was just over from there. And like, i was just fucked yeah i had that with surfing so when i was young this is like teenage woody i was a good surfer and like i wasn't a pro or anything but you could stand up on the board no no better than that i

would win competitions i get free surfboards wetsuits clothing sunglasses shoes fucking i had like a i'm not exaggerating i had like six or eight sponsors who would give me shit in exchange for putting their sticker and and travel expenses and shit like i was a good surfer but then fast forward to like adult me and i'm not good anymore but i'm competent you know i can stand i can do tricks i can do cutbacks and roundhouses and off the lip and that's just out of practice me sometime in my late 30s i tried it and i could barely stand and ride down the line and paddling was so exhausting it wasn't at all what i remembered and i was like fuck they took surfing from me like it's just gone i don't have it i haven't ice skated in like 10 plus years i'm you don't know like you don't know what you said like i would hop back on there and be like

wait where's all that agility i i had where's the powerful legs that never tired that you could just skate and skate and skate and skate and skate and yeah even consider it i reckon i would probably get one link one one lap one lap of the ice rink and then my lower back would just be on fire. Then I would sit down for the rest of the hour that I'd hide the skates for and just eat a hot dog. I know I could. I mean, you never forget how to skate.

But I bet if I tried to do like a ladder drill right now, like I'd throw up. tried to do like a ladder drill right now, like I'd throw up. My fear is if my blades aren't sharpened just the right way, I feel like I'm always falling forwards or falling backwards. And I'm like, I can just imagine myself throwing on some rental skates and falling forwards.

Yeah. And you never know with rental skates, you might get the rental skates that are sharp as a tack just finished being sharpened or you might have the ones that kind of slip through the cracks for two weeks and so they're dull as shit and actually if you're in like bad shape dull skates might be easier than not like absurdly dull but kind of dull i know you're you're not clued in on this slush you guys don't really do ice skating at all down there, right? I have ice skating. Can they have ice in Tasmania?

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's pretty cold down here. We put it in our drinks sometimes. That's a stupid question. Well, that part was the joke. But I forgot. I'm like, yeah, so you probably naturally Forbes outside. We have an ice skating rink that i know of in the state and i have

ice skated there before but i i know how to like rollerblade i did like rollerblading and skateboarding and it was fairly similar so the times that i have been i'm confident enough to not like face plant and i can like get up quite a bit of speed the stopping is the hard part i haven't practiced the sort of like the sliding to stop kind of thing because you don't really do that on roller skates yeah uh roller skates it's way harder to do a hockey stop you have to do like a little micro jump and then angle your skates further down than you think and then it goes like that's the difference drag your foot behind you kind of thing like you know i'm skating like that is not cool enough no but i

used to play roller hockey too and like taylor said if you tilt your skate a lot it'll slide and that's how you do a hockey stop in ice you keep it more vertical and will slide backwards no no no yeah you can stop much more vertically in ice hockey because you're just kind of grinding off the top layer of but if you tilt a little bit a little bit, it kind of cuts in. You can't. I'd be playing goalie and then the fucking dickheads, I'd make the save and then they'd still come in really hot and then just ice me. Ice me right up in my face. Disrespectful.

Yeah. See, I remember the last time I did it, I was confident enough to get up a fair bit of speed. There's Stephen Bradbury around the rink a little bit and then realized that I had absolutely no idea how to stop and i tried to do one of these the the slidey moves where you like both and yeah i the the skates just dig dug in immediately and they just sent me over the handlebars in essential like fashion a little bit of an that was my favorite thing like yeah just those like ice

skating days for like field trips and stuff because we had some like ice skating for field trips and seeing those people who would get way too much speed and clearly didn't know how to hockey stop like if you're expecting to go from very fast on ice skates to stopping and you're doing fucking pizza you're not it's not that's not gonna happen champ. You're going to run into the boards so hard, and then everyone's going to laugh. You've been to a hockey game, Kyle. The sound of someone hitting the boards when you're on the ice really reverberates.

And if you're getting hit by someone else in a hockey game, it's not embarrassing because you're getting hit. But if you're the only guy out there going way too fast for yourself, start falling forward and you slam into the side i've done that you're the only person as the whole rink goes that's how i learned to skate i fell maybe a dozen times a day you know like when i was done i still remember i was like man i don't think my ass has ever been this bruised before. Like my ass, my knees, and my palms from just hitting that gut. And, you know, I was 20, so I popped right up fast.

I don't want everybody to see me. So that's making it worse. You know, like I'm not taking the time to absorb the pain and let it flow through me. I'm just right up. And I'm falling every kind of way you can fall like sometimes i'm just getting like head over uh over over my like skates and i'm just and i start waving my arms around windmilling and now like you said i'm hitting the boards

it was it was a fun fun afternoon yeah my friend could skate very well so he he'd skate in front of me backwards yes very good kyle and you'll just say you're skating around like good fuck off man stop bragging yeah that was a little little nice condescending thing to do on the skate days just throw yourself in reverse right behind him do some crossovers around the back of the goal or the crease because the goal's not out there during free skate i don't know what i remember just being in a big rink i'm sure they played i guess they play hockey on every ice surface are there just rinks that are for casual skating and no one ever plays hockey there?

You would think you would always do a purpose that. Yeah, pretty much always do a purpose. Yeah. I don't know what stadium I was watching. Maybe the one in Texas, like Dallas Cowboys place. But the grass they play on, they wheel it out of the dome and it lives outside. Yeah. Like panels of it?

No, the whole fucking surface moves on this motorized track. It takes an hour to make the journey from inside the dome to outside. I'm not sure about which dome it was, but I watched the whole thing about it. And it goes outside to get sun. And then when it's time to play,

they wheel that bitch back in. And I sure if there's like inclement weather or whatever yeah too that's pretty cool the staple centers like dual purpose so they like they have like big panels of that shit and they yeah they like set it up they must be able to do it pretty quick though because they'll have they do i've seen them do that yeah there's videos that like run through and they did that in atlanta um but the i've been at those hockey games the thrashers games yeah rip r.i.p two two deaths for the thrashers people in atlanta just do not care they don't they they really don't apparently especially when you give them a a really bad team to root for where it's like oh no chuck and the rest hosa uh i don't remember the uh i

don't remember the the stadium being empty but i also don't remember it being like there's plenty elbow room you know yeah they didn't perform very well no either on the ice or with attendance i don't think they beat the bruins that night so that was nice but um um that that time that we went to that uh colorado game was tremendous, though. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, it's being that close to the ice. I always say it, but that's the best spectator sport to go to. I'm sure if you could afford to sit ringside in an NBA game, that would be, not ringside, but on the court.

Like Nicholson or a Kardashian or some shit. I bet that's probably the best ticket in all sports. But, man man being right there behind the i feel like i don't want like a i don't want like a 200 600 or something black man flying at me i don't want to be right on the ring of right on court side because i just don't want to get crushed by lebron oh i do i want him to fall on me like that would be the story right that would be a cool story over your foot you ruin the game he'll usually sign his fucking sneakers and give them to you or something like that like they're chill about that if they

if they fall on you i've seen a few where he's like jumped over people and all in my head i can just imagine he's nuts bashing against their head and giving him a concussion i don't remember what clip it was but it was it's from a hockey game probably like 12 years ago may have been a thrashers game who knows but they shot a puck out into the stands and it winged this guy in the head and he's like bleeding and then later in the game someone commits like a delay of game which means that you flip the puck out of your own end out of play which is a penalty you're delaying the game and it hit the same guy the same guy got hit by pucks twice in the same game oh i remember a different but

related story so the guy the hockey player got his nose busted and the guy in the stands is like ah fuck you look what happened to you and then later in the game the guy who was being an asshole in the stands get hits with a puck in his nose and the player's like ah fuck you and the guy in the stands girlfriend wife or something is also laughing at the asshole he's like holding a rag up covered in blood and he sees the player and he's like no no you

and it's like ah no he won you both have cut noses except one of you is worth 40 million dollars one of them does have his wife also like working against you the uh did you did you see i'm sure you did but bernard is that the new sensation bernard yeah dude he made he just beat st louis like single-handedly with a michigan goal no we won that game seven five uh that's not how i remember it it is the he did he embarrassed us by scoring a michigan goal which is where you go behind the net and you quickly pick up the puck on the blade of your stick balancing it there and then while still maintaining the balance of the

puck you tuck it around to the upper left hand side of the goal so you're behind the net lacrosse player would do it's like a lacrosse you're behind the lacrosse player would do it's like a lacrosse goal like originally called lacrosse style goal and that was rough i saw that clip and i was like this is really embarrassing chicago is our rival and they're brand new fresh off the fucking production line first overall pick just embarrassed us and we were losing five to one at the start of the third period. And the blues scored six unanswered goals and one seven to five, which is really just a testament to how bad Chicago is. He rips one of those and he can brag,

but he probably just like end up the next game. He doesn't. Someone will just like fracture his C5, just like punching him in the face. Dude, if they can catch him. Stay rookie. He's only 18 like

he's being it's very it's it's rare that an 18 year old jumps in the nhl and performs really well yeah usually they'll kind of let you develop in the minor leagues because it's the fucking nhl you don't want to just go in and then get shit rocked yeah you don't get that big man like that old man strength but conor bedard is like one big hit from like a one big hip check from a defenseman from being very rattled like some six foot seven swedish defenseman laying into him because he like keeps his head down for a split second but that might not happen because usually if you're 18 and in the nhl it's because you're very fucking qualified to be there. You're not going to make that kind of mistake. Yeah.

Taylor, have you been staying current on fish tank? Mostly, yes. It's going during the holiday season, so I missed some time. But I did see this clip earlier. 8.52 p.m. this evening. Not the whole thing. Almost exactly two hours ago. During her medical examination, Judge cuts off

Trish's hair. She bursts into tears and threatens to kill everyone and throws water over the production team. Hashtag fish tank dot live. And here's an accompanying five minute video of them sort of torturing her, I suppose. And Judge is Sam.

And he's dressed up like Woody from Toy Story. And he is hacking her hair off with a pair of scissors. She's crying. And it looks like she's got doo-doo on her chin, but I'm sure it's something else. I'm sure they smeared something on her.

I'm mostly up to date on it. I was just disappointed yesterday that one of the characters I liked left. And so far, they started with 10 people. No one has been eliminated. And they have six people left. Four people couldn't handle the psychic torture that it is being in that house and having Sam come up there and in like a very low

effort, like, well, it looks like we're going to take a look at what's going on and gain a country around you. Like just barging into the room, breaking things, yelling like force.

It's the seventies theme this season. And so there's a huge amount of like cigarette smoking in the house. Every clip. You can, uh, so I imagine very soon they're going to shut the nicotine, cigarette smoking in the house. Every clip, I'm looking at it. They're all just smoking cigars. I imagine very soon they're going to shut the nicotine stream down and really get on with that. That's a great idea.

I don't know what the amount of money is, but you can pay for cigarette delivery and they don't let them save the cigarettes. They light the cigarette and hand it to them and force them to start smoking it then. Some some of the characters you'll like see jimmy or whoever walking around and he's got like seven cigarettes and he's smoking from all of them and they're all clearly like addicted to nicotine now and so it'll be like do you guys like want to not smoke all these and

he's like well no i gotta you know smoke my cigarettes it's like there's very funny very funny bits that they're doing in in fish tank so let's fish tank dot live check out season two if you haven't uh it goes from zero to six i mean the nature of any big brother style 24 7 show is that it's going to go zero to 60 pretty often where it's like oh they're all kind of sitting around doing their thing and then suddenly it's all right upstairs because judge jebediah gold striker is going to administer a physical on you or something like that and cut your hair off yeah what did the winner get last year like i know everybody got a little something but like what i'm at what i'm really asking is best case scenario for the torture that young lady is clearly enduring there what is she getting out

of this i think this season it might be like i don't remember exactly it might be 50 grand 35 grand something like that last season the winner got i think 30 35 and then they gave the second place person 25 okay and so i don't know okay i think it's around like a reasonable amount of money yeah they're in there for six weeks it's day it's like day 11 or 12 and already four people have like i i would hate it the text to speech is so fucking mean that it's fun to watch i think i would be good in that but i'm the kind of person that would be pissing people off so much that they would leave so i'd be fine yeah you'd be okay that but but like you're annoying maybe you're you're you're suggesting that but i think some of these people are genuinely mentally ill so i'm gonna see i'd trump them off because i can annoy people when i sleep because i snore

like a fucking mahogany cabinet of chainsaws running being dragged across a polished wooden floor all i need to do is just take a nap and people would just fucking die inside like you could that'd be your secret weapon this guy's sleeping his way through the whole fish tank just snoring his ass off like this i'll be also i've been a streamer for so long that i just don't i i have nothing that anyone says on the text of speech would any way affect me. The sleep deprivation would be hard, like trying to finally fall asleep and then someone plays yet another mariachi band in your bedroom. Or they play, there's one.

It's not as loud as my snoring. The only one that I think would like upset me in that house if I were there is there's a sound effect called hysterical breakup. in that house if i were there is there's a sound effect called hysterical breakup and it is like three minutes of of a woman screaming like how could you do this to me how dare you i've done everything like like three minutes of that and it's screaming and so like and it'll tail from that and as soon as that one ends school shooting comes on and so it's like a bunch of kids screaming like firearms and guns going off and then mariachi bands compared to those is sweet relief

this is just have you ever text this way it's just endless that there's endless text to speech and uh but odd people spamming it endlessly. They will spam it endlessly. And then sometimes they'll turn it off to give them the fish a break. But in like key hot hours. And sometimes like if you're an unlucky contestant and everyone can say, oh, it wouldn't affect me. It wouldn't bother me. If you're sitting in a house with nothing to do around eight other people, all chain smoking cigarettes. to do around eight other people all chain smoking cigarettes and you have to sit there for four hours just hearing fucking 4chan call you the worst things in the book and like like that would

suck that would be yeah it would suck it would suck but i think i could endure it yeah and then like there is a there's i mean i'm sure he'd love to have you. Yeah. Go do it, Slush. Hit up Gold Striker. He might fly you out just for it. I'll be down to win 50K. I'll do it. No, you would be... They have difficulty retaining enough contestants, clearly. They had to do this last year, too,

because people realized, like, I can't handle this. I got to get out of here. And so they bring on, like, freeloaders, is what they call it, who's just someone who comes into the tank who is intentionally trying to be difficult. Like airsoft was the best freeloader last year.

Like airsoft was spitting on people. He was, uh, Frank hassle was another one. Frank hassle was very funny, uh, on the first season of fish tank, but him and I guess airsoft fatty were the two really big freeloaders that,

that provided good content. Yeah. Check out, uh, check out season two listener if you have my role just going into fucking with people that'd be fantastic do it get on get on fish tank bro and brandon buckingham shout out brand in front of the show he was on last year no he made them do uh he makes them do like karate classes now where like sam has them all dress up in geese and this one like martial arts instructor, who's not like faking it. Like he's a real martial arts expert and he makes them do, uh, like fighting.

Like they, I saw, uh, from maybe two nights ago or something. Sam was just like, all right, you guys fight. And so two guys in like sparring, two contestants in sparring stuff, you guys fight. And so two guys in like

sparring, two contestants in sparring stuff just had to fight. And one of them fought like the way I imagine an anime character fighting, where he was like charging up his punches behind him and firing these wildly inaccurate ones.

It didn't seem to. It didn't seem to work. In the UFC, they sort of wind it like this, though, always clockwise. Yeah. I saw – You got to stamp your foot as well. You got to get the spade up. One of the contestants who was very funny was named Cole, and then he left.

They tried so hard to keep him that he kept saying, I'm going to leave. I'm going to get out of here. This is horrible. I don't want to be here. And Sam, it's a 1970s theme. They dress them in 70s attire. It's supposed to be period accurate,

tongue in cheek. They tried to keep this guy Cole so bad that Jet Neptune showed up in his room and let him set up an Xboxbox and play halo three in there and so him and sam were playing one-on-one halo three and if you went to like the other and it was like to try and create conflict they're like you know only cole can play the xbox none of the rest of you can and so you go to the other room where all the other fish are and they're like this is fucking bullshit he's in there playing xbox with jebediah and we

don't they all have to call him jebediah what happens if you accidentally call him something other than jebediah if they like if they slip up and call him sam or like mention season one they'll be like hey shut up like don't Don't talk about that. Oh, I would be strict. Part of me wants to be to do this as well, but it's only because I want to come up with silly ideas. I don't care about anything else about it. The whole thing

is hilarious to me. I liked when Ice Beside was doing his thing. I always said, that's neat to me because Big Brother initially on on i don't remember what cbs maybe i thought that was a fascinating idea i was like what happens when they pee you know like i wanted to see i want to see what was going on and then it became so manufactured and silly because normal people aren't that entertaining unless you make it

which seems criminal people have been broken on like he like they do more challenges for money this year where like they identified like oh this guy brian is really attracted to this other contestant trish and so sam jeopardy gold striker goes to trish in private and is like thousand dollars cash if you can get Brian interested in you and get him to kiss you. And so then she goes and starts the mission. And then other missions will be like, hey, you need to paint this. You need to do that. You need mixing semi-innocent ones with dramatic, inducing ones.

So it would be entertaining. I would have them stealing from each other. They do. They're allowed to destroy all of their stuff. While Cole was like, Cole did the X-Box thing. And then immediately after that, Sam was like,

all right, Cole karate practice. And so he puts them in a gi with some other guy. And while they're down there, like practicing all the other fish who are pissed as can be that he just got to play Halo three, go into his room and start like pouring shit on his clothes and tearing all of cole's clothes apart spitting on them like sam even made it clear like someone asked him i saw a clip they were like jebediah so like

what's allowed like what can i do to their stuff and sam's like let's say anything at all you want like so they're just like one guy was like trying to get changed after a night and he hadn't checked his clothes bag in like a day and he like went to go get a new shirt and he's like ah someone poured beans all over all my clothes so he's got clothes covered in beans now that's pretty good honestly like you're gonna just cut holes in all of his clothes they just straight up throw them away but one of the guys has no shirts because one of the missions he gave some girl he's like tailey you know 20 poker chips which are dollars at the end or whatever uh if you steal all of tj's shirts and so this is like this is day one and a half of the contest of the six-week contest and stole all

of his shirts and then they convinced tj that like oh yeah production came in and took all your shirts and so for a fucking week this guy's just walking around with no shirts, thinking that production stole only his shirts. Like, not everyone else has shirts. There's a lot of very funny little bits in there. So, yeah, Fish Tank Season 2. Check it out if you haven't. Should we wrap? Yeah, I think we should.

Slush, where can everyone find all your wonderful content? Oh, Twitch, anything. Just search Slush Puppy. Twitch, YouTube, Twitter. Yeah, those ones. Slush Puppy. find all your wonderful content oh twitch anything just search slash puppy twitch youtube uh twitter yeah those ones slash puppy come and use all your twitch prime subs on me so i can pay the flights to go over to fish tank and and just be on paper do it yeah cool cool pka 680