Painkiller Already - PKA 693 W/ F1nn5ter: How Big Is It? Cringey Paid Messages, Russian Prison Horror Stories

Episode Date: March 30, 2024

pka 693 our guest finster taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro freeze pipe and lock and load a bunch of wonderful sponsors we'll talk more about them later finn it's good to see you what's new in your world what are our pronouns nowadays what are they or what am i well what do you want a whole english let's start at the beginning what is the general oh my i i swear i came out and then 20 days later friend request from cheers accepted would you like to come on the show i think i've just been invited because now i guess it's not gay in part you can flirt with me now kyle so finally we can take it oh no no my friends are all bigots it's still very gay now

it's much it's worse now. As long as the dick's not in your mouth, though. There's going to be a lot of dicks, though, like one way or another. There'll be more than usual. More than usual, for sure. Yeah, above that average of one. And that's a tough average to break. When you're using one dick in the bedroom oh no yeah so what is what's new with you you came out that's it i we haven't spoken in so long i want to know

what's going on with you guys the only thing that's happened with me that i think is new is they came out as gender fluid if you can guess what that one means in fact how much do you know can i it seems to me so bafflingly little. I feel like I've followed along fairly closely because you're on so many... You're incredibly popular on so many subreddits, like all of the like egg IRL. Is that one of them?

Yeah. So I just don't know the idea behind that. If I understand it, an egg is someone who hasn't come out of their trans eggshell yet and hatched as a full-blown trans person. Is that what's going on? It's like the in-the-closet thing. Like, gay guys have in-the-closet trans people have, like, eggs. So Finn is like their fucking mascot over there. Like, they love Finn. Like shitty in eggshell. like they love finn and so shitty in eggshell they're you know how red it is people are mean but there'd be like hey hey i know some of you have been referring to finn this is months back

referring to finn is like she heard then no no no that is a manly man right there you respect you respect his choices until such time as he tells us otherwise. And everybody's like, fucking yes, sir. Salutes across the board. Not one dead namer in there. And then Ben hatched out the other day. And they're all like, the rays of heaven are coming down. People are vindicated. They're like,

oh, well, I hadn't been in the subreddit for about three months. What's new around here? I haven't been proved right, have subreddit for about three months what's new around here i haven't been proved right have i there's been a whole influx of that across the whole internet it's not just that subreddit it's like three or four more that seem to really make you their spokes woman yeah there's a there's a bunch you know you can pick and choose there's like there's been a bunch more that were just like fucking knew it called that shit years ago buddy not a surprise because you know i did this for what four years or something it was just like my own it was done to you let's

let's get this straight well well not too straight it started off being done to me and then i kind of went like oh you know i'm fucking getting nails is pretty cool, you know? Like, it's weird how quickly you get used to shit like this. Like, you know, sometimes you grow your hair out, and then you're in that, like, you look back on memories, you're like, that was a weird phase. I don't know why I didn't like, I don't know why I ever liked that. I just stuck in it, I think.

Grew my hair out, ended up liking it. I'm just continuing on the bit, I think. I still don't have the pronoun answer, and I feel like I'd be useful to know. I think he doesn't really care too much, but he realizes that it matters to a great many people a lot. No, I'm good. And so he's okay with either one. No, I get to say.

You don't get a voice in this. Hush. Oh, sorry. I'm the woman. That's right. The men are speaking. Look, you take the good with the bad yeah is your driving suffering

hey if it helps i don't have a driver's license i couldn't drive i was pre-programmed i care immensely about program program i care immensely about pronouns just give me one throw one at me and then you'll see how i react then you can judge which one's right ah so it seems like him we hate that game doesn't seem to care no my fingers hovering over leave cool welcome to the new game show are you right or are you a bigot no they're whatever i don't mind has it been weird like have you gotten a like supportive response out of it largely or not really the weirdest ones are the people that are like overly supportive like i said

like oh my pronouns are like he him slash she her and then so when people talk about me sometimes there'll be people that'll say like like, oh, he's so cool. I'm so glad she came out, like, using the same, like, in the swapping. Oh, I don't like that. It's so fun, grammatically. Pick one for the sentence so everyone can follow along with what we're talking about. Yeah, I'm reading...

You can be switching back and forth in the middle of the sentence. It's confusing. Yeah, it might be difficult to mission control, you know, if we got any confusions. You wouldn't want that to, any pronoun swapping to go on if you're like on a nasa mission all right i need her to turn the capsule to the oh

no oh it oh oh he did it they're fucking off now oh shit that's why they use numbers and code names there yeah commander that's what i'd want to be called that's what i like i'd like a like a like a title like i don't want him she she her him they no commander you just want to be called. That's what I like. I'd like a title. I don't want him, she, her, him, they. No, commander. You just want to be called like lieutenant. I'm thinking commander. I'm pretty set on that one. I like that one a lot.

I feel like, yeah. So you're going to trans right to the top in the military. You're not going to put in your hours. I didn't take the big seat. I didn't take the big seat. See, the commander, he's in charge of the crew. He makes sure the captain's orders are distributed down, that they're applied correctly.

He's in charge of personnel. He's got a lot of responsibilities. The captain, head in the air type stuff. He's got big schemes ahead of him. He can't be worrying about if Lieutenant Donovan showed up for his shift late. No, sir. Yeah, fair enough. I'm curious.

I'm sure you already got just an enormous number of creepy, I'm sure you already got just an enormous number of creepy, ghastly messages on all the OnlyFans and sites like that. Has that gone up since you came out, or is it pretty static? OnlyFans stuff, everyone's so nice. They're paying to talk to you, so everyone's really chill. If you had to pay $20 every time you talk to a girl, you better make that shit count. That's good. So people are really chill. Like, you know, if you had to pay 20 bucks every time you talk to a girl, you better make that shit count. So people are really nice. It's like the free platform, like Twitter that are just kind of awful, but it got bad. Cause I like, I showed, uh, I showed a little more on only fans recently and it got bad from then, but it didn't get bad from like, uh,

it didn't get bad from the coming out thing. Oh, okay. So you showed more and they were like, all right, this indicates a higher level of what I'm allowed to say in our messages now. Pretty much, yeah. Although I got a response I don't think most people would like when I did that because everyone just called it cute. I could guess it. I knew I was going to be able to guess it.

I knew I was going to be able to guess it right off the bat. I knew that's what it was going to be. That's hilarious. Thanks for thinking of a dick, Steve Powell. Aw, look at that little cute dick you got. You're like, how much has he spent? 400. Thank you.

Thanks. Just teeth gritted that must be weird yeah you really gotta compartmentalize for that yeah that so you put your dick out there people called it cute and there was a was there a little bit

of time where you're like no come on come on don't don't you throw that at me don't use that slur on my dick there was there was 30 good minutes there's 30 good minutes of me being insulted and then i checked the graph i was like all right you're like you know what i can deal with this in my new lamborghini that i can't drive yeah there's this standard for like um trans girls or like femboys or anything in that category where like honestly a feminine dick is kind of preferred sometimes so i was like oh fuck it i guess new

market i'm not in i'm not in like just guy anymore i can i can be cute and it's actually a positive oh it's money like has that graph been going up since the reveal you think it's a new audience a little bit but it's it's been exactly a month, so we'll see how many people tuned in, saw it, and went, uh, and then unsubscribed. That would be funny if they were logging in. They've been telling me.

Everybody's been telling me, but I wouldn't believe it. Dude, you get people like that. I've had people in my DMs that were like, oh my god, please show me that pussy and i was like i don't know how you managed to get through every stage of my social media are they like indian guys like horny indian guy posting like you are the most beautiful girl in the entire world show me your vagina it's it's weirdly enough it's a lot it's it's russians

polish people and like a concerning amount of people. Many children. And like people with like Confederate flag posters or like knights, which is a British thing, I think. Like the knight in arms thing. Oh, okay. So like a sigil or something. Yeah. I'm not sure what that is. That's an odd cross-section of people for what I imagine the kind of content you're posting being nudity

and dick-heavy. I've still never figured it out. I got no clue. It seems like you bridge, that you just bridge it all. Eastern Europeans, Confederates, Confederates, communists. I think Polish have the highest concentration of

femboys. I think that's a fact. Really? It's gotta be. That can't be true. I've seen so many. I think the Polish have like the highest concentration of femboys. I think that's really back. It's got to be. That can't be true. I've seen so many. I think of them as like a masculine, not too open to some of our leftist ways, kind of country, very militaristic as well with that,

with their whole thing with Russia. And then I think of the MMA fighters that come from there. They're always scary as shit. They're always this fucking killer of some kind. Yeah. Maybe that's why. It's like there's over-masculinity, like super, super masculine types.

And then a branch of guys is like, well, I'm not fit in that mold. Might as well go the other way. Yeah, they're just getting brutalized. They're like, well, I can't compete next to this 6'7 viking and so i guess i'm a girl game yeah yeah now if what if what if that's what happened like there's this sort of slider right on every on our rpg character and what what if the average man like what was considered base masculinity that's better was like thor bjornsson and you and me taylor were stuck way on the far left side of the masculinity scale we the women there were women

who were more masculine than us like that's how far it was shifted like do you think we'd be close to making that decision like i moved somewhere with smaller men we already did we already did like these are the smallest men who are the shortest i don't know the average height of a filipino man in this future six foot eight like i'm telling you like we're the we're so much closer to to to cute girls in this reality that it's almost makes sense just to go ahead and shave okay well there's no way i compete in the girl world either i'd be hideous and so that's what i'm telling you this girl world we got this okay a lot of ugly bitches in this world yeah no you know what i would just i would just be a shut in who like posted hateful things online

you know here's a graph of how bad tall masculine guys are i don't like it black tell them taylor wouldn't have to change my name. Just stick with Taylor. Boom. Yes. Weren't you building a house last time we spoke to you? I am moving. There's moving boxes. This is the most clear my desk has ever been.

I've seen boxes before. That doesn't impress me. Are you actually moving? Yeah. Do you have things in the new house? Yeah. Sorry. I'm going to be moving

in like a week or so. It's finally actually kind of done. That's great. Still in the UK, right? Sadly, yeah. Now, are you going to be when you leave the UK america the promise i would love to i think maybe like i thought of canada for a bit but canada's cold show that off zach

show that yeah zach can you show that graphic dude if if someone presents facts i always fact check it if someone presents facts in a map i, I always believe it. I've never fact checked a map. This must be right. All you gotta do is take this same map and change the word Femboys and just keep using it over and over. Give me whatever you want. There's no way that the fact that they used Femboys too

makes me highly, highly doubt this. Who's using this? We went to Old Fimbo and we could find and ask questions. What is this? This is just a concentration of Polish people in Europe.

There in Italy. Is that Lithuania down there? There's no way to know. Lithuania is underneath Latvia. That helps. It's right there latvia is right there estonia latvia and then latvia below romania bigger yeah no data on russia no data on bosnia montenegro and is that what that is there's just no femboys there they asked them and they said none do you get annoyed then when you hear americans talk like

european geography because you probably know all those countries just instantly right you know all those videos online where they have like they interview just an american on the street and they say like point to this place on a map i'm watching those videos like how idiots fucking idea where that country is if i was stopped in the street, I'd have no clue. Geography questions are like the ultimate. Like if someone asks me like, hey, can you get to name every state in the US just from the map? And I'm like, yeah, obviously. I'm a genius. And then if someone's like, where's the Congo?

I'm like, who even? As if that even is indicative of anything. Like you just don't. I don't think that's is indicative of anything. You just don't... I don't think it has to do with anything but memorization. I have an easier time finding the fucking Congo than I would some of those squiggly states up there. We did the map test the other day, and I was like,

is that Rhode Island? What am I clicking? There aren't enough pixels. It's such a squiggle up there. I think I got all but one. I think I inverted two of the states or something. I think I got everything right in the Northeast, but I got too many wrong in the Midwest.

Yeah, you inverted like Nevada and New Mexico or something. I have, yeah. Arizona and New Mexico, I think you did. Yeah, that makes more sense. When you get to like Iowa and Illinois, there might be another Iowa and something. Yeah, I mean, we were talking about like the way we were taught history the other day,

or certainly in high school, like just regular public school. Holy shit, you get Civil War, Revolutionary War, you get a little bit of what was going on in England before we had enough, apparently. Whole lot of Holocaust.

World War II kicks in and oh, it's time for economics and science now, boys. We don't have any more history in us. Like, that's it. Yeah, Vietnam, I don't think I learned word one about Vietnam at all. Korea, I was almost convinced Korea was like a very minor thing because of how much they didn't know Korean. I was like, I got to learn about what happened to Korea because nobody else is going to teach me.

I got to get out there. I got to figure this out. I'm so old that, like, I wanted to know about Vietnam, and they wouldn't teach it. It was like a politically hot topic. And I was like, what was Vietnam about? And the teachers would look to each other and giggle. And I'm like, I don't need a hot take or anything, but literally, why were we doing it at all? We can't say.

You're a teacher. Jesus Christ. Can you describe a battle or something? Give me something here. Yeah, yeah. They just wouldn't talk about Vietnam. It'd be like talking about current politics. I think that's fun about European history, like UK, France, all that,

where you can learn what were we up to in the year 800, like Charlemagne. It's like history a thousand years ago. And they're like, oh, but that's like history like a thousand years ago and they're like oh but that's like not even halfway through our history and in america it's like eons ago in 1904 with like half of our country's existence ago it's wacky to leave the country and then walk around amongst buildings that are four or five hundred years old like yeah this shit's been like four hundred five years four

or five hundred years ago was before time started to an american yeah i mean there's stuff here that's that old but we just didn't make any of it right rocks like ruins ruins ruins would be but but like there's nothing but in terms of like 500 years old the ruins you'll find are like this is where the native american indians wash their clothes it's a particularly hard part of the riverbank yeah it's like oh you can say it's like i want something a little bigger i think it's i know there's one in europe that's like the longest um it's been it's a hotel or something that's been open forever i think there's one in japan too like maybe there's a sake bar or something that's been open forever i think there's one in japan too like maybe there's a sake bar or something that's been open for like a thousand fifteen hundred years or something like

that like yeah we never close like it was a lot more else for 1500 years though they haven't served in the same place so the fact that something hasn't destroyed a building like that and that and that amount of time is surprising it's like it's like the city's probably been conquered three or four times in 1500 years so it happened earthquakes and tsunamis and shit like all the all the big european cities my hot take is if you've been to one like major european city you've been to them all a little bit the culture is different but the architecture is the fucking same it all looks exactly the same there's the same shops it's like because everything got blown up in the wall and then rebuilt again

Like if you've been to like Berlin parrot Berlin and Paris look exactly the same London looks like Berlin and Paris Stockholm looks like that. They're all really similar. It's that same architectural style Yeah, that's true and all those cities brag about being so old but we blew them up like 75 years ago They can't brag about that shit anymore all All their shit's new. We built it. Wait a minute. Rome probably built it, right? It seems like there's a lot of really cool old stuff in Rome. Greece.

That's so old, it's almost baffling. Have you been there yet, Taylor? It seems like you want to just go. Why haven't you? You can do this show from Europe. You could do a cruise to Italy and not even have to do anything. Not even have to do any rail or any walking amongst that filth.

No, you'll have to do some rail. You can't just pull up to the coast of Italy in a boat? You can, but if you want to see Venice. No, not Venice. Where's the Pope? The Vatican.

The Vatican, Rome, shit like that. You need to go by rail. You want to see the Vatican. You can't go there and not. That place is... That would be really, really cool. They made a castle for pedophilia, and we all know about it. It's crazy. It's almost like Diddy's Mansion is just sitting there, nobody going in.

The Vatican delivers. The Vatican really, really delivers, but there's also a lot of other churches. You just walk in and look up, and you're like, shit's like six stories tall with paintings and stuff, and it's just a waste of fucking money. If you're going to go to one European city,

Finn, what's the one you're most impressed by? It's never going to be the major ones. Milan in Italy is really nice because it's not like the big hub for anything like that. Or like Marbella in Spain is lovely. A bunch of places that aren't... They're not like the tourist trap ones.

Stuff you can just walk around and as long as you've got GPS, you'll be fine. But it's just fun to just wander. Anything like that is pretty fun because you get to see all the little bakeries run by four generations of women and they're all there still. That would be cool.

That is pretty neat. Other than that, it's just like shopping. If you're into that, I guess. But I don't see the reason to travel. I wouldn't want to shop for clothes in Italy because everyone's so svelte and no one's fat. And if you're overweight at all, they're going to slap you in a in a double xl i imagine

and i picture european clothes being almost like asian clothes where like you go over there and it's just so much smaller because we have a bunch of vanity sizing here in the u.s where you're like oh you're just a medium and like you put that medium that could close an entire family in thailand right 32 inches that's three feet right these will fit me yeah have y'all been following the pd anything not enough oh my god pd is a monster it turns out he's been he's been buggering the the the boys of r&b and rap for like 15 years he's been raping and trafficking ladies for his whole life. And he was smart enough to hire a guy to record it all for him.

But who he also molested. He molested the hush man? He molested his cook. She was like, he would have me come and serve him and his other male sexual partners while they were engaged in activities and, and serve them foods and make me look at their bodies and ask me if I wanted to join them.

And so she settled. And then he hired this other guy who was, it wasn't even, it was for some other job. Like, like it was one of those things that you see it a lot in the entertainment industry. Someone gets hired as an editor, but ends up being your videographer forever that's what happened and by

videographer i mean yo record the cool shit i do all the time and he's like you sure you want me to record all this cool shit because it's like 99 illegal record the coosh and it's the recording it's just like cocaine everywhere like it's like. It's that pink cocaine. It's pills and marijuana and shrooms and underage girls. Thus far, I've heard some illegal things, but I haven't

seen anything that goes against the PKA code of morality. We've got lots of sex, lots of drugs. The molesting part. This guy was also his procurer. Did I hear molesting? Yeah. Who does he molest? The underage girls in the videos.

Oh, wait. That's really the crux of it. We didn't mention this part. You're like, sex with men, and I'm like, okay, that's fine. And then, you know, sex with lots of people at the same time. We've established he's cool. Now shit. And then, you know, sex with lots of people at the same time. Oh, we've established he's cool.

All right. Now what? Designer cocaine. He's getting cooler. This guy should be Hunter Biden's friend. Yeah, there's pictures of him, like, smooching on underage girls, his son smooching on underage girls. How old was his son?

Maybe his son was underage. No, he was not. He's like 50 or something, maybe 60. And then the other guy, the guys, he's like, and he tried to molest me. But then the best part is he throws all these other guys under the bus for getting molested by P. Diddy. So guys like Meek Mill and guys like Usher, who were clearly P. Diddy's butt boys for like a decade

to get their careers going. Guys like Justin Bieber, who are in all these videos getting touched on and felt up by uh by pd he's like yeah little man's under my wing now i did see that that video where like all the diddy stuff came out and people were like this really makes that private 48 hour little mini vacation he took alone with justin bieber when he was 15 look different doesn't it and it's like it's like wait this was public knowledge already that he took a little private vacation with a 15 year old boy like no normal guy wants to do that like you're oh like yeah yeah that's insane like you should have been so right he was on the wall there yeah i mean with beaver bangs

beaver's bangs like he had those bangs back in the day kyle had that haircut i think extra that's a good helmet that's a good haircut yeah look at that he looks nothing nefarious going on there he's just learning he's just cute he's just earning a dollar. Sometimes a 41-year-old man just takes his 15-year-old protege on a private vacation in the woods with no cell service. Poor Justin Bieber. Usher's first music video, Petey's driving the car, and Usher's sitting on the hood. And I was like, why is Usher sitting on the hood like a lady?

And he's up on the hood, he's rapping and shit, and Petey's driving the car, riding him around. it never looked good does we know where pd is i heard something about his private plane going to a place with no extradition treaty yeah he was already captured so they had him on camera at 3 p.m while the raids were going on he was outside the private uh plane airport in miami or somewhere in Florida for sure. And he's like pacing outside. And then then I guess he caught a plane to Cape Verde that has no extradition laws is what everybody was saying. But then I also read today that then he turned off the transponder to his plane.

Now they don't know where he might be. So so so did he could be anywhere these days. But I saw them raid his two mansions. He's got like $70 million worth of mansions. They're like $35 million each or something. I still felt bad seeing him throw his shit on the floor. I don't like that. I'm like, straighten up.

Come on, Nat. Look at this. What were we looking for in his shoe collection? what if he's just a really messy guy and that's what it looks like oh no way no he's got house he's got cleaners and then people to organize this shit up it was all stuck in the right place did they elongate his head in that picture like what the it's like black a blinking in that yeah this is i mean i i get why you would not like having your stuff torn about kyle but also you were caught in a bunch of nonsense about ordering weed online and he molested people so i don't care about his cleanliness. I did order it online just to be clear. People say that.

That's not what happened at all. Well, it was hokum and nonsense either way. You shouldn't have been God. Literally, a friend over the phone was like, yeah, I'm out too. Ordering it online makes it sound like I was on the dark net, like finding some creepy character in Cali. He's like, yes, send me a kilo. But a girlfriend was like, oh, you can't get weed there?

It's legal here. You want some? I mean, yeah. Yeah. And then she hung up and was like, all right, Operation Mass Distribution is underway. So little. Operation Drug Dealer.

Yeah, that sucked. But maybe the FBI should be a little cleaner not as not as bad as it does for diddy though i'm i i do enjoy it when it turns out that like a beloved uh person is is a diddler or something like this and something about the meme from south park about diddy did it is it's funny to me i keep i keep hearing that in my head and giggling so i've enjoyed this whole thing this has been great that. That cat Williams clip from that one podcast, right? It was,

yeah. Right. I'm not sure if we can get that video up or something, but he goes off and everyone thought cat Willie, everyone thought cat Williams was just going nuts for a bit. And then more and more people started like getting hit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Cat said something about how, like when did he ask if you want to party, you've got to tell him no. You've got to tell him no. You've got to protect your booty hole. That's what Cat Williams said? Paraphrasing, but yeah.

All right, if anything bad comes out about Cat Williams, I won't believe it. He's just too funny. He's great. That guy's the best. Cat caught the ultimate L, though, and got beat up by that child on video. That was a tough kid.

He tried to suck it up. Cat was getting bullied. First of all, for some reason, Cat Williams, famous stand-up and actor of film, was, for some reason, outside of middle school in a shitty neighborhood, talking shit to a kid. And then the kid's like,

you ain't gonna talk shit to me, Cat Williams. What's up and cat williams goes oh yeah motherfucker and he did that thing where you kind of look off into the distance at nothing and then sucker punch somebody but like the sucker punch didn't take the kid just went oh yeah and whooped cat williams ass i think cat williams is also five foot like three like he's a real little fella it was rough because the kid i think wrestled under the ground and was whooping his ass and cat williams is like this is how you treat celebrities in this neighborhood you got no respect for your for your celebrities it was just a bad look like even that was even he even gets beat up funny that's how good he is like you can't do anything that'll happen that was a tough kid it wasn't

he was a tougher than normal kid yeah that did one of the toughest 13 year olds you'll find there's some tough ones out there especially if you're kat williams and you're like 12 year old size that's tough yeah well do you think there's going to be more revelation skyle you seem to be following this much closer yeah yeah what i what I think is going to be interesting is how many because the rap and R&B communities are this very incestuous thing where everybody has fucked

everybody else and everybody's... If an STD got released, if Nicki Minaj had the clap, it would spread to every fucking major uh singer within two months like i swear to god because they all fuck each other like right now there's some drama where like drake is inviting some other guy's girl to like go somewhere and everybody's like yeah drake's

gonna fuck his girl now that's what drake does and they're like and then some other guys like drake better not fuck his girl I'll write a rap about him. And Drake said, I'm going to fuck his girl. It's like, how is rap like this? How can y'all not find more than 15 pussies to share amongst the 40 of y'all who can rap and sing? How are there no more girls? Actually, P. Diddy was doing his best, and we see what that brought. He tried to expand the talent pool.

That's what he was trying to do. It was kind of a farm league, right? Where he'd take young girls and coach them up until they're ready for the majors. AAA program. Diddy's always thinking ahead. Not that far ahead. Head start.

What's he doing now? Fleering a shawl in Croatia? He's a billionaire he's fine like like it would be interesting if diddy became like a fugitive from justice permanently but kept releasing music and the music was about that oh like him like him like can't catch me like this is the this week i'm in bulgaria kyle who's the guy guy who sang and then I got high and then I got high? Afro Man. Afro Man, yeah.

He needs to do an Afro Man where he does his own song parodies of his own songs where he's like, and then I ran and then I fly. I don't know. First I fucked some kids, then I ran away. Yeah, that's not going to sell the way the Afro Man's

fucking weed on a beach. That's going to go on Woody's liked Spotify videos. He just doesn't get it. He's like, I don't understand. I'm rapping about crimes. It's like, yeah, but the most reprehensible ones. Steal a car or something.

My goodness. Have you seen the Afro Man video Woody's talking about? Because I got high? No. the Afro Man video? What he's talking about? Because I got high? No. So Afro Man got his place rated, and I guess he didn't have anything. But he had cameras everywhere. So he's got the whole raid recorded. And he's making fun of that particular police department in a rap, in a song.

It's not really a rap. It's a song. It's to the tune of How I i got high i think as well and he's like why are you looking in my sock drawer what did you think was in my sunday pants because they're going through his pockets and shit and it's just like making fun of the officer showing clips of them fumbling around in his in his shit yeah this is this is from his music video. This is the... Look at this fucking army ranger that he sent to get him. Don't you love that?

I always think that's embarrassing. I started to turn on our nation's first responders in general. Just the self-proclaimed heroism, right? Everyone runs away while we run towards the danger. Suck a dick, dude. I am just so tired of you smelling your own farts thinking that you're better than everybody else first responders are the cringiest cunts you'll find on the internet or anywhere else now is this ems paramedics firemen oh yeah i just want to take them and push them up against a velcro wall

until they're stuck there because the fuckers are always dressed in cosplay i'm done with it i'm done with it you don't like firemen anymore did this start on 9-11 when you're like it doesn't look that hot put your belly in about all those stairs yeah oh i'm sorry there's a little bit of dust in the air i know it's right that is the funniest group to go after because i've never heard anyone have umbridge first responders and then they're like oh can you move your legs you're in a car accident i'm okay with most of the first responders. I do think that they... Look, any male-dominated, good old... kind of profession like that that's physical in nature like that

develops this good old boy kind of thing. And they can be annoying as shit just to talk to. Just because they're that way. I don't hate firemen. I want them to come put my shit out. But I wouldn't want to hang out with a bunch of dudes

at a fucking firehouse either. Those guys are usually douchebags. I usually got along with all the cops that I knew in private, but then you know them in private. And in private, they're completely different people. You know what I mean? In private, they're like, hey, what kind of weed you got? And I'm like, that's right here.

And my cop friend's like, oh, that's some good weed, because he's my cop friend. Or he'll be like, this is the knife I'm going to use to disembowel some fucker if he ever like oh cool he's got a batman knife or they'll be like yeah i'll tell you being a cop ain't nothing but beating up n words all night that's all i do these days beat up n words all night they don't if you tase them paperwork pepper spray them paperwork you shoot them oh paperwork but you whoop their ass kyle ain't nothing to write about then. Wait, is that part a real thing?

Yeah. He had the Kevlar knuckled gloves. And I was like, damn, man. What do you make again? $14. He made like $14 an hour. And then they had to come in and wash their own cars. They had to wash their vehicles themselves and do minor repair. Like his fender was hanging off.

Really? He had to fix it. Yeah. I don't want to be a cop. You his fender was hanging off. Really? He had to fix it. Yeah. That would be a cop. Yeah, quite the cop friends. Very, very... What? Yeah, cops like guns.

Oh, no. They also... It makes sense. It wasn't the gun part I was surprised by. It was good to... Putting Kevlar Knuckles on like you're going to Batman. Oh, they all have those.

You won't find a cop who doesn't have gloves with Kevlar Knuckles. You won't find a cop. I have like doesn't have gloves with Kevlar knuckles. I have like six pairs of gloves with Kevlar knuckles. For motorcycle stuff? That makes sense. I honestly think it's for sales. They also have sliding

things on the palm. I think that's for protection. The Kevlar knuckles are because it feels cool. You put them on, you punch your fists together, everybody does. It's like a rule. It's neat to have Kevlar knuckles. I can't imagine sliding on

the back of my hands in an accident. It's already gone terribly if you slide it on the back of your hands. First responders though, that's a new if you just let it go out the back of your hands. Yeah. Man. First responders, though. That's a new one for me, too. I don't like the police.

I dislike the police. They're included. Police, security guards. Security guards aren't responding too much, are they? They're the first ones there. They're probably there before the cops.

They're the zero responders. I like security guards. I do hate that cocksucker, any cocksucker that wants to try to check my receipt as I leave a place. Although now, unfortunately, I've watched so many police activity videos that I know that I better show it to them because they're going to call the cops and things can escalate

very quickly. I don't want to get killed out here over my receipt. But I don't like them asking to see your fucking receipt. I hate that shit. We wearing like a giant coat with like merchandise shapes under the the down in this coat is shaped like a samsung television no no i don't know what the fuck i'm i can take your receipt sir i wanted i want to have a meltdown when that shit happens i i've i've ignored them plenty of times and kept rolling i've thrown the receipt on the floor um there you go and kept moving too you show that minimum wage employee well i don't care how much he makes if he's gonna be a piece of

shit he could he could be the owner of the store or he could be some random civilian but nobody's gonna check my fucking receipt i just first of all we're at walmart not balenciaga okay i'm not walking out of here with eight grand worth of cufflinks or some shit. You see what I got, dude. I got two gallons of milk there, some Wheaties, some macaroni in the bottom. Some Tyson Tendies. I paid for the dog food in the bottom, too. That's mine.

What are you looking for? What's the valuable item? You guys have a lot stricter receipt checkers than I do when I go to my local Walmart. If I am stopped, it's just them seeing the existence of a receipt. No one's doing anything with it. It's not a receipt, and then that's it. I've had what Kyle talks about at a Best Buy, but I don't go to Walmart much.

I don't know what they do. I don't anymore. They check your receipts. Well, they must be getting robbed a lot at Best Buy if they're doing that. They're getting robbed so much at Walmart that they're closing stores in scary areas. Target as well. Yeah, I've seen that. I heard REI did that.

I actually love that shit. I like seeing, you know, it's like, that's what you get. We don't even have a Walmart. Yeah, because you robbed them. Walmart came here and provided a service for you, because you robbed them. Walmart came here and provided a service for you, and you robbed them. Now they don't want to provide you with services. Now you can go, oh, yeah, nowhere.

Nowhere. Go nowhere. Yeah, it's not good. It affects everybody because eventually, the way we do merchandise stores is brand new like a new global thing in the last hundred years like being able to walk around and be like oh i'll have this put this in my car oh this i'll put this in my car like that's new the way it's always been is like you go somewhere you talk to the guy behind the counter and you go I'll have a bag of rice and two horseshoes and a can

of beans and fire starter and this and that and then he's like well that's fair that's just fine and then he goes to the back and the proprietor gets it for you and then brings it to you to the front imagine how fucking long that would take imagine how long that would take and by brand new I don't usually think of like

150 years old well like in the scheme of things. It's not like... In the scheme of things. We're talking about cosmic age. Yeah, that's brand new. Yes, that's what I was referring to. It's cosmically brand new that Walmart exists.

Yeah, because I don't want to go to stores where I have to wait for a proprietor to go get my shit. Their hair is so long. You want to keep going with that? I got a haircut recently. I got a haircut for the first time in four years, I think. It was just to trim split ends. It's all messy

right now. I've got a little puppy camera. I've just been watching him. That's why I had to go for a second. What kind of puppy did you get? He's a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. He's 17 weeks old. Jack, can we get a picture of Cavalier King Charles Spaniel? I've had Calapoos before, which is that mixed with a poodle.

They're the most, like, the reason they mix poodles with them is that Cavaliers are so mellow, so chill. They're so well-behaved and mild-mannered. They just want to snuggle. They're great. Big disagree. Big disagree. The reason why I was five minutes late to this place was not because I was just

doing my makeup. I lied to Chiz. It was because he shit on my carpet. He didn't do it maliciously. He did it out of... Oh, it was a malicious shit. He thought your carpet was missing a little something. No, yeah, because he usually, if he shits inside, he'll do it downstairs, but he did it right outside that door oh that was spiteful yeah he's like you've been spending too much time in here play with me how old is he he's 16 weeks so he's like a little

puppy still oh that's fun are you sticking with one are you gonna add any more in the mix i think dude i know i'm i knew that it was gonna be difficult but it's so hard i think a puppy's such an annoying thing i'm at home all the time so it's not too bad but like oh my god i don't know how anyone has like full-time jobs and looks after puppies or brings up like five puppies i don't know how anyone lives that life that would be stressful yeah especially if you have young kids i've got one right now and it's my whole day is like babysitting that fucking puppy it broke its leg the other day so i've got like a three-month-old puppy with a broken right leg so he's he's running around

his little fucking cast yeah but he learned his lesson right kyle you won't have to do it again all right you better not i'll break all those legs you pee on the carpet that's yep that's it i bet his little leg snapped like a glow stick poor little guy just just the littlest teeniest little leg poor guy i'm hoping it's healed we're going back for more x-rays uh if it doesn't like align right we're going to the orthopedic surgeon the puppy orthopedic surgeon yeah you know them they're they're notoriously cheap my name is dr gouge and it's gonna be thirty thousand dollars because they have little tendons and it's like i can't dispute that that seems true i had a new kind of oral instruments

i've got a got a discount from that yeah i i could definitely see myself for the longest time i was like oh if i get a dog I'm gonna do two and that just seems Just maybe too much maybe you get a dog or a puppy. I would get a puppy Yeah, probably probably a similar age to what your dog is like three four months that that's a good time to get them It'd be fun. Okay, it might not be too hard with two of them because they both have the same routines i guess then that was the mistake i made i thought two dogs would be like 10 more work and 10 more cost it is much more like 95 more like it it just there wasn't the economy of scale that i expected in either effort or expense. Your dogs are enormous. Yeah.

I can't push back on that one. You're doubling a lot. God, they're so big. My couch is a pretty big couch, but when I get all four dogs on there and me and my girlfriend, we're full. We're full. Nobody else is sliding in here.

I imagine your fucking Great Danes putting its head in in your lap and you're like wow shit can't get up to pee yeah i didn't just tell the post office send my mail right here we're not going anywhere for a long time um my beds are really tall though they're almost like to the bottom of my rib cage so it's cool having a dog that can jump up yeah i bet it's a very tall bed. It's stupid. It's really tall. How'd that happen? I don't know. It's just the mattress.

It's got a pillow top. Does Jackie have a ladder or something? Maybe I exaggerated. Not by a lot. It's above your belly button, I think. It's tall. It's very tall. Mine's kind of tall, but it's nothing like that. I tall yeah i guess mine's kind of tall but it's nothing like that i don't worry about my little dog anymore oh yeah i have to get a smaller bed is uh is this

your first dog that you've owned by yourself finn yeah i had a family dog and everything um but we got him at like six months so it was a little bit easier and i thought like oh great i've had a puppy before i got this like no i didn't because we got this one from from eight weeks so he was like just a he was so cute but he was just a little shit he's really four weeks eight weeks i'm not sure what it's very young he's so tiny we called him tank okay i like that yeah yeah yeah we would do it we did one of those like we're both me and my girlfriend are just really bad at naming things so We did one of those, like, we're both, me and my girlfriend are just really bad at naming things. So we did one of those, like, oh, what's a good dog name generator thing?

And we went through so many that were like, bullet, ammo, buster, tank. We're like, we're calling him tank. Does she call you her girlfriend, too? She changes it, weirdly enough. Like, depending on the context. It's not helping. Listen, if I've got to take the trash out, I'm the boyfriend. If it's fun.

Oh, well, that's a terrible deal. I like that. Yeah, yeah. I did see a tweet from her the other day, and maybe to make the joke funnier, she's like, I come back after two or three days, and my boyfriend's boobs are bigger. I started taking HRT a while ago like estrogen and stuff um and then but I was like depressed for a bit so I like barely did it I did it like every every other is that a known side effect what oh no no depression's not that I had I was like

it usually makes your mood a lot better and it did for me for a while just other life circumstances stuff but when I met Ashley things got a lot better so like um i started doing it more regularly and once i was consistent with it yeah they they grow and they fucking hurt when they grow dude like they're i dropped him oh that there's you know those little like hairband things that they also like push their hair back the whole thing just a little plastic round thing they weigh like nothing one of those fell from maybe like a foot because i was laying down on the couch and i it it fell on my just my nipple and it was like getting kicked in the balls it's it was nearly as bad it hurt so bad oh i would never imagine you're the only person i know that has experienced like boob pain and

getting kicked in the balls to like effectively compare yeah normally when they're not in like that growing stage they're fine it's not even it's like any other part a little bit more sensitive is that normal with young girls i don't even know i haven't i'd rather not i'd rather not either i like paul's instinct here he's a smart man knowledge is power well i guess like it's what he thought it is like puberty though like it's going through the same sort of thing there's a really fun little um effect and i i i'm so glad i get to make fun of this now there's a fun little effect there's a rule if you've came out as trans you get like a year to figure out how to dress well because you know that one period of time when you're going through puberty or something and If you've came out as trans, you get like a year to figure out how to dress well.

Because you know that one period of time when you're going through puberty or something and you just try and shit and you look awful? Yeah. Trans people have that too because they've gone their entire life. Like let's say you're male to female. If you've gone your entire life as a guy, you've never experimented with women's clothing at all. You're going to go like everything's pink. Everyone has like a baby trans phase, they call it. And it's just the cringiest like eagle sort of attire for a while.

And that's like you get a year to get out of that. And then you can't make fun of people like that for one year into that transition. After a year, fair game. Then you transition to like frumpy librarian. Yeah, in cardigans all the time. A lot of shawls, a lot of very conservative attire that would be funny this is what happens and then like to go trans and then immediately be the most like conservative dressed person of all your friends trad wife that's what you turn into yeah yeah i have seen those memes i think i i've heard trad before what is that traditional yeah traditional oh that's just like what i have stay at home mom yep exactly like that okay yeah that's the best way

for what he gave it's like oh like my wife got it i'm done like it's like cisgender i keep hearing that is that i've heard of sissies is that the same thing? Someone called me a sis and I didn't know what to do. So I started blowing him. He apologized. So we worked that out. Is the girlfriend going to move into you, into this new manner that

you've constructed for yourself? She's moved in here too. There's a stereotype with lesbians and stuff that they move really fast in relationships i don't know if you've ever heard that because i hadn't but like oh i had our internet use is so different like yeah i see the memes it's an office joke that um he says you said i love you on the first day like that's fast even for lesbians he's telling michael like he's what he's moving away i saw four u-hauls on the highway together with the like caption like they just had a four-way

and they all moved in right afterwards that's the like stereotype the u-haul lesbians that's what that's what that's a cool thing really termed because yeah because like um i mean so me and ashley went on we met each other because we found out we lived in the same city and then we spent every single day from that point up until like four and five months into the relationship in the same room like we never left each other she always like came over to my place and then she moved in with like in three weeks how did you guys get introduced also i got a little lost because you're in the same city like yeah she does like she was doing instagram and i she she did instagram and tiktok and i uh i. Yeah, she was doing Instagram and she did Instagram and TikTok and I saw one of her TikToks

and she had a bunch of Spider-Man comics. I was like, sick, I'm going to DM her about it. I was like, yo, you fuck with Spider-Man? She's like, yeah, dude, we live in Birmingham. She was like, this place is a shithole. No one cares. I went, you live here too. Let's meet up.

Let's meet up and talk about Spider-Man. Yeah. And that's how it happened why is it that lesbians go so fast in relationships i can't believe it happened because the worst case scenario is they they have to pack up again and leave i don't know yeah nobody's pregnant yeah nobody's getting beaten up probably we just we just make your jean shorts go on the left my jean shorts go on the right we go our separate ways i think of it as a different way like men are thirsting for sex women are

thirsting for commitment in the gay guy community they bang a lot why because they both say yes in the gay girl community they move in why because they both say yes like commitment is the thing that they thirst for. Who doesn't want two Subarus? There's no one to say no. You see two Subaru Foresters in the same drive. You know what's up. I like Subarus. The man of the house's name is Becky.

You still get screwed on taking out the garbage and what else do you have to do look i'm gonna hear about this in the morning i mean i think in all fairness there's like a nice little balance like if i'm just feeling like awful at that i think it's like if i require some sympathy or empathy i am i am the girlfriend in that scenario like oh honey here's your like cup of tea i will take care of everything for you but like you know i'm the girlfriend in that scenario. Like, honey, here's your cup of tea. I will take care of everything for you. But, you know, I'm the only one that has packed up all the stuff from the house.

Stuff like that. I hire skips, everything I'm paying for, you know, all that. So I've got, like, and I don't mind that, too. I like that I'm gender fluid, so I like a bit of both. I'm into the, like, traditional masculine roles as well as some of the feminine ones. So it works really well for me, weirdly.

She's clearly enjoying not packing yes you got hosed there man the gross shit that i've pulled out of our house that's there was a whole mattress and bedding that was just moldy in like a spare room it's disgusting that's all in like a skip house you're doing well enough for a fresh mattress jesus christ yeah yeah i'm the spider killer in the house i've got one of those salt guns that was not too bad oh i've got a salt gun too don't use it on wasps it just pisses them off it's not strong enough yeah they take it as an insult wasps are in the united kingdom but i got close to a wasp that somehow got in my house like two summers ago, and I had been plinking flies with it.

Wasps have some kind of armor, man, and it just upsets them. Thankfully, it shot its wings off, and so then it was a walking threat. I was over the top of it. I haven't even seen this movie, but that guy in the beginning of RoboCop, I've seen the clip where he just blows him apart with so many bullets. That's what I had to do to that wasp. beginning of RoboCop, I've seen the clip where he just

blows him apart with so many bullets. That's what I had to do to that. That's RoboCop 2. Okay. This is exactly like Nazi Zamas, right? You created a crawler, you upgraded your weapons, then you came back and finished him off. That's it? Yeah. I think Woody's

got one too. We bought those 1 watt lasers off of Amazon. You're frying wasp yeah yeah dude i hate it no shit a mosquito with a mosquito you're just like and the mosquito drops like you don't need like instantly drops you really need the glasses you really need them do you have it with you kyle because kyle's on the light like on the wall behind him and at one point while he was doing it it like we saw a laser go behind him as well and so it was refracting off of something onto something and like onto his jacket and like a different angle would have blinded him it's so powerful it bounces off of just drywall paint like the

paint on those walls was enough to reflect it back at and it didn't make a visible beam it's a visible beam you're looking at and uh i i found it because i watched this youtube channel that takes amazon products and they're like you know that five dollar power drill let's test it and they like they here's the seven dollar one and then they go up to like the two hundred dollar one well they were doing that with lasers and they had this piece of equipment that tests the power of them and they're like this 14 laser from china has 1.6 watts it's not even legal it's so powerful it'll blind you instantly and i was like fucking give me two and i ordered those things and then what's the worst thing that happened and i get headaches they give me headaches when i like look at just like if i shine it on the wall and look at that

it gives me a headache. I really need the glasses. It's not my target acquisition a bit harder if you're wearing welding glasses while you're trying to shoot this fucking wasp. They make laser glasses. They're orange or red. They encapsulate your eye. They're not just stylus lenses

that sit in front of your eye. They wrap around. I guess we have a solar eclipse and they're like encapsulate your eye. They're not just like stylus lenses that sit in front of your eyes. Yeah, they go to the sides. They wrap around. You know those, I guess we have a solar eclipse coming up because at the grocery store I see those like stands popping up where it's like buy these paper and plastic glasses to protect you from the sun. And like it's probably one of the dumbest things I believe because clearly those things like do

work because there's not tons of blind people every time one happens but every time i walk by i'm like there you couldn't pay me to stare at the sun with the with the same glasses i wore to spy kids 3d there's no chance it just looks absurd it's a it's a real once-in-a-lifetime eclipse apparently. It's going to be a full eclipse and the band goes across the U.S. From bottom left to top right across the U.S. Can you find a picture, Zach, of the eclipse path?

Yeah, and so people are flying around to find the best place to watch this thing from because it's going to be a complete eclipse. You're going to have, I guess, a couple minutes of... I can't remember what they call it, but the full darkness. It was a really good one like three or four years ago. I had a bunch of friends who flew their paramotors during the eclipse.

Yeah, there you go. So it's not even that hard to get there. And Taylor, my goodness, Taylor. If I were you, I would absolutely go to do the thing. I only have to drive a little south to get to um and taylor my goodness taylor if i were you i would absolutely go to to do the thing i only have to drive a little south to get to path of total eclipse yeah the the worry is the weather and there are people who are so into this that they're flying to hawaii because that's that's going to be the best uh weather on that day and even if it doesn't live how do we know april 8th i i just i think that hawaii in general there's not a lot of cloud

cover right it's an island yeah this makes me want to go on a trip you should i mean go to any something in that band not chicago though don't go there well yeah look chicago's in like 70 you wouldn't want to go there like buffalo oh go up there and hang out. What's that? Oh, I can pop on down to Cape Girardeau. Right in the middle. Perfect. Honestly, Austin's... It's only two hours from me.

Austin's the move here. Austin? Why? No, there's going to be way more people there doing it. Wouldn't you want to go somewhere where there aren't? No, it's going to be a fucking party in Austin, dude. I bet there's going to be a party in austin i it's gonna be a good time yeah but you don't like parties yeah but i like pussy get pussy in in the three minutes

all i need it's all i need laying there and he's like man this, this is a long one, huh? They said three minutes, but it feels like five. Yeah, I've never looked up the total solar eclipse. That would be neat. I saw one when I was a kid. I remember using, we used a welding helmet, a welding hood. I trust that.

To put on, you could just stare at it, obviously, with that, because it's made to do that sort of thing. One of the funniest things, to this day, Trump has ever done was paying a little glance with no glasses on up to the solar eclipse while everyone else in the photo is wearing glasses. Zach, can you please pull up the Trump looking at the solar eclipse while everyone else in the photo is wearing glasses. Zach, can you please pull up the Trump looking at the solar eclipse picture? That's because he's a man.

He's regal. He's kingly. He's not afraid of the sun. He dared stare head on into the light. Yeah, you're as powerful as the most epic celestial body in our solar system. Is Trump about to get really... That's hilarious.

Baton! Baton! Hey, take a look everyone's talking about how dangerous it is i don't think so this thing is like a rorschach test i'm sure i mispronounced that but like if you're crazy on the left it's evidence that this is the dumbest guy ever even though who hasn't looked can you pull that photo up just one more time i just want to remark on how hot trump's wife always is. Like that lady's so fucking hot. I saw a picture of her at a wedding today with her titties out. That is a good looking lady. I wonder if Trump

still gets after it. I'm just impressed by how open his eyes are looking at the sun. That's normal openness for him. Doesn't he look good there in that blue tie? Oh, look at that. He pussied out. He went for the thing. Yeah, that's just such a funny photo.

This looks like maybe 40 pounds ago, Trump. Maybe it's because we can't. Actually, you know, you can't tell because he's so hippie. It's a good angle for him. He always is. What were you asking? Is Trump about to what? I was asking if Trump gets laid.

Is he still fucking Melania? I believe he gets all the sex he wants. I don't think he gets it from Melania. I did see her by his side recently, being super supportive. Woody, is he this true social thing? I've heard every different thing under the sun. The headlines all say Trump's about to make billions of dollars. Is Trump about to make billions of dollars of money?

Like not valuation. Is Trump going to have billions of dollars of money? So it's my understanding Trump will be worth billions. Really, he already is. He's already gotten billions out of this. But he can't convert those shares to cash for six months. If the share price stays where it is, then

he can lock that in. A guy who has... I think he made $4 billion off True Social. I don't care if you have $4 billion in stocks or real estate or cash. That's $4 billion. He can't sell it yet, so it's a little locked up but

they called him don poorly owned last week not yeah well that's i got it this is worth that much i don't understand i mean i don't have an account so it's not in my world at all it's wildly overvalued this channel that you're on has more visitors and i mean by virtue of not losing 50 million a year it's more profitable too it it there are i try not to go all conspiracy but it's like why is it so highly valued it doesn't have the traffic they must see some future in it or for my tinfoil hatness is it a way for people to contribute to trump and a money laundering that's what the stark money who knows i don't get that's what the bibles are i've heard that someone i don't understand finance as well enough to to reiterate what i read but

they suggested that uh it's because of the nature of the company and that private entities from overseas are able to pump money into truth social without anyone being able to see who they are or where the money is coming from, thereby pumping Trump up. So he could, for example, I don't know, make a deal with the Saudis and like, yeah, come on, help me out here. Slide a few billion my way. And they could just do that that way and in the dark. And by the same thing with the Bibles. Everybody's laughing about the Bibles. It's like, dude. Trump's selling Bibles now for $60.

They have the American flag on the Bible, and he's got commercials. It's not commercials exactly, but they are. He's standing there, this is the greatest Bible in the world. It's the... It says King James right here. It's the, it says King James right here.

It's the King James. I got to hear what version it is. King James. Okay. All right. I don't know if that's good or bad. Also, in addition to having the Bible,

it has the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution in there too. It is the American Bible. Well, let's not put those up against the Bible. Man, that's crazy. He's selling Bibles now? His face is not on it, right?

That would be... No. The American flag. Yeah. The American flag. It's pretty classy in my opinion. I don't want to hate things that aren't worthy of hating. It's like this leather-bound thing with an American flag kind of imprinted in it.

It looked good in the picture it's it's a it's it's awful it's to it's like this i don't know you might as well put the fucking um like like the holy cross on the necronomicon or something they're not it's oil and water like they're not supposed to go together for a reason you idiot um but this this is how you launder money says god bless the usa is that what that says yes yeah yes it does on the holy bible it's like let's just open it up and see what he blesses i don't like trump but i i feel like this is on brand this is what trump does he hawks silly things and like this is what his base might like i don't't know. I read these stories, like from Newsweek, for example,

saying that his base is upset that he's making money off the Bible. And I'm like, Newsweek, I don't trust you. You just are like, you're trying to make a story, I would suspect. Yeah, they were probably the ones who called Don poorly on. This is a way for his religious supporters and those mega churches to support him full-throatedly in ways that they normally can't, because Joel Osteen can't just write a check to Donald Trump from his church. They can buy a whole bunch of Bibles for his missions. Oh, so it's like how politicians write

books, except Trump couldn't even be bothered to write ones. Well, see, here's the thing. It looks weird if you go buy 500 million copies of The Art of a Deal, but if you buy 50,000 of his Bibles, that's on brand. You're going to send them to your missions. You're going to send them to low-income areas. Wherever you send Bibles, now you're going to send a Trump Bible. The money goes to Trump now. They're 60 apiece. They're 60 apiece.

Bibles are free. I just learned that today. Yeah, you can get a Bible for free. It's the most popular book ever, ever. You don't even need to call it., you can get a Bible for free. It's the most popular book ever, ever. Like, you don't even need to call it. I know, popularity doesn't usually make them free.

Like, Lord of the Rings is pretty popular. That's true. Every drawer and every hotel, the Bibles are everywhere, man. There's a lot of Christian groups that have a vested interest in being like,

anyone who has interest in the Bible, like, ship them one. Like, get one to them so you can get the Bible. Yeah, it's a gateway drug.

That would be interesting if Trump, like, slipped his own book in there just a few negotiation tips gospel according to donald funny he's just recent it's just john copy pasted he's like i don't know point out where people made mistakes then that he's like the shoe thing the bible thing i can see this actually making making some decent money maybe not the shoe thing as much but the bible thing seems like a a big money maker well the shoe thing was like the nft but it will alienate people it made exactly as like it made its maximum because he does a limited number so he sells 1 000 pairs of of shoes for $400 and it's done. Of course, he's not selling them. He already got paid by the shoe company some flat fee

a month ago or something. I'm pretty sure after, like you said, he sold 1,000 pairs of shoes for $400 each that he opened up the gateway and started selling them for much less without the limited edition. Weird. Yeah, so if you're one of the first guys, you might feel a little robbed. If you're that guy who spent nine grand to buy it, then you're probably feeling kind of robbed. What are the politicians in the UK, what are they up to?

Are they doing anything fun? Does Liz Truss have some bras she's hawking or anything like dude she's out i don't know who's in there's a guy called rishi sunak now i think what are we on like the fourth one in like a year or something insane i don't know what i know she's not pm anymore i just i always enjoy the clips of her in parliament though she's she's uh she's fun to watch she was funny she had had that BDSM controversy. Do you remember that? No, tell me more.

There's this thing. Hold on, I've got something that looks like a little ring on a string. There's this thing in the BDSM community that Kyle immediately smiled. It's just like having a ring. It's like having an O on a necklace or something like that. Something you don't take off, and it shows you're owned. You've got a master. something like that. Something you don't take off and it shows you're owned. You've got a master. I knew about upside down pineapple.

Why do you have one? I got a bracelet. That's about it. I don't have one of those O-rings though. I'm so naive. I don't have one of those friendship things. She never took this off. Even from like

after everyone was talking about it she still didn't take it off. Even from like after everyone was talking about it, she still didn't take it off. Really? Please, can I take it off? They're all laughing. Can't take it off now. Until you finish sweeping the chimney. Whatever they do.

So this is the British version of upside down pineapples, like Zach is saying there. What is an upside down pineapple? That's it's it's more of a notification to others that you're swinging. OK, well, that it that doesn't seem like it'd be a very good looking piece of jewelry just to wear around an upside down. Oh, there I like it on like, oh, nice and simple. Like you could just play that off as like normal.

I would have never guessed anything before. The pineapple thing is more tattoo, figure stick on your hotel or cruise ship door, things like that. And then you see it on the door, and you're like, ah, people fucking there. But you were holding up Finn. That was the one ring, right?

Yeah, how did you know? Yeah, it is. Oh, I mean, it was clearly the one ring. Clearly the one ring, yeah. How can you tell? Look at it. You've seen the films. I mean, it was clearly the one ring. Clearly the one ring, yeah. How can you tell? Look at it. You've seen the films. He's tempted to put it on,

but he can't. The Nazgul will find him. It's like a direct... It's made by the same people that made the prop from the movie or something. So it's like real gold, I think. Is it curiously heavy? Cock ring. It's so heavy. It looks curiously heavy in the movie, doesn't it?

Doesn't it have like a mass to it? In the movie, on the close-ups, they had, Kyle knows this, they had a giant gold ring made so that it would feel bigger and be bigger. You can kind of tell in some of the scenes. Like when Bilbo drops it on the floor of Bag End,

we'll get into it. You know, but... you go pat doswald on lord of the rings all the time what are the rings rules it's the best oh yeah i do yeah where he he makes up star wars star wars and marvel and all that and i don't know much about the star wars and marvel universe but i still found that monologue from parks and rec i think it was yeah he's um what do you call it when you when you're just eating time and filibuster filibustering yeah yeah filibustering in a city hall by the way he was wasting it like a plumber's time sitting in the audience yeah finster i have an hrt question oh what aside from growing boobs what other changes have you observed like has your hair gotten thicker is your body fat

distribution changed how weird do you want to get get weird welcome to the show the easy stuff the stuff that everyone tells you uh because there is stuff that people don't tell you, there's like, so your skin gets really smooth. Like if you had face acne, gone. You'll never get acne again. Also, I used to have a ton of acne on like my chest or something. I could get at the occasional spot or something like that. Gone. It clears like acne scars too.

Your skin gets thinner and that's why it feels like softer. So in the first like couple months of HRT, when I started noticing that, it was like specifically this spot, like between like right in the middle of my chest i was like jesus this is this feels like a woman's chest this is like this is like in there okay so that was like that was that your hair gets a little bit better i didn't notice anything crazy with that your your body hair can get like finer so like a bit more light and stuff um like it's a bit easier to shave it gets softer and stuff like that the weirder stuff along with boob growth and stuff the weirder stuff is like first of all you develop an ass like nearly overnight like in in like a month i went from having like a guy ass to like

a girl ass which was nuts that was a strange one and also your balls shrink i could guess that one yeah that does make sense did your hair get thicker on your head i don't think so but i think that might happen some of it's like your mileage may vary because some people oh dude my foot size shrank one and a half sizes what what yes because okay the way the way hrt works is it like the tendons or something or the like the the things that connect your bones together yeah ligaments ligaments right they can shrink your bones can't shrink or anything but they can shrink so that's what makes your foot smaller it's the same with your height too i've dropped about an inch of height so like i was 5 11 and now i'm like five just like 5 10 really yeah i didn't expect that does it change shorter ligaments does it

have any other impact aside from length of feet and height like flexibility strength like if you noticed my i can't lift shit i've, you know how embarrassing it is to like, I do these photo shoots every month where I bring, like I bring my friend of like, I've known him for years and he's worked with me for years. But like he comes over to the like kind of the admin stuff, like kind of make sure everything's going right. And I'll like, I'll try and like open like a can like this

or like a twist bottle cap and go like, dude, can you just please please i can't open this fucking thing it's a nail you're off the lifting grind aren't the nails fucking like a handicap as well like like for picking like for picking like a quarter off the ground but nothing crazy they are nuts taylor do you like girls with nails like that like fan aside uh uh no i i prefer Like, fin aside. No. I prefer shorter nails. Like, no nails, right? Like, very, yeah. Like, polished and, like, manicured or whatever, but no nails.

Yeah, they look nice, but, like, I don't want to get, like, scratched. I don't want anything protruding. Yeah. Can I see your nails again, Finster? I'm going to go full screen. They're pretty long. They're so grown out. I'm getting them redone tomorrow.

They're up there for length. I usually get a little bit shorter nails. It's just they look good. I think girls get their nails done for themselves. Not for like, I don't think for any other reason. Yeah, for sure. Because I don't like it at all. Men don't care about nails.

I do care and I don't like it. I care, it's just the bullseye is in a different place. I just like them clean and manicured. I want your nails to look like that's what you were going for. Clean and manicured.

But I just don't... I really hate... The longer they are, the more I hate it. I used to have these ones that were like, I think from the base of my finger to the end, probably an inch. Like something nuts early on, and it was awful. You deal with it fine

because you get used to doing your daily activities in like a week. But I tried woodworking with them. Nah. What were you making? I was building this desk. Oh, i like big projects i had a friend that was into woodworking but he his cup of tea was um really precise small things like jewelry boxes i like end tables desks stuff like that bookcases i'm like you should get into the bdsm furniture

game you're definitely right overpriced dude i looked into it after you said that and he's right all right so if you look at on etsy you can see bdsm furniture and there's like different crosses or things for like bending her over or holding her in a handful i'm not i don't know my position am i um there's spanking benches there's um st andrews crosses um there's like um like just barrels and the stuff is it's it starts at like 500 and it caps out at like multiple thousands of pounds there's really expensive um high-end british place that has the well yeah but it's not hard like like so when i think of an ornate bookshelf for example example, that would take me a month to make, this BDSM stuff, I feel like I could make four a day. And they're selling for like $500 to $1,500 a piece.

There's actual money to be made that's worth making. Finster, if I presented you with a business opportunity that made $65 a day, you'd be like, well, I've got things to do. But you're like, shit, if I make $3,000 a day, well, maybe not you, but most people would be like well i've got things to do right but you're like shit if i make 3 000 a day well maybe not you but most people would be like that you've caught my attention yeah it's uh there's only one guy making that i have that one if you if you're on there looking at the like the foldable spanking bitch i've got that one do you have that that scary cross i just looked up that like theon got tortured on no like i don't have any use for that i don't want like to do that to anybody that doesn't seem fun it seemed like i like the

spanking bench that's cool because you like tie a chick up bent over and you can like both i agree that both sides of that cross equation seem unpleasant i don't mean i would despise being strapped to a torture device and if I had someone strapped to a torture device I feel like it would be visible on my face how much I was like I don't I don't care for this I don't I don't like this it feels feels illegal feels wrong feels like someone's gonna get hurt here in a way that's not a good time there's like yeah yeah there's a little bit of leather work um and and like i said there aren't really like a cheap one a medium one an expensive one it's like first the starting one is almost six

hundred dollars and it's shit like like it's shit it's you could tear it apart with your bare hands almost shit or even if it's strong it's like two two by fours and lag bolts like this is just not impressive woodworking oh i i remember i stayed at an airbnb that was that that was this that was the deal it's like this is the kinky airbnb it's full of bdsm furniture they had the saint andrews cross spanky bench bunch of other shit they had like a gyno table like a full-on like gynecologist oh with the stirrups and stirrups yeah um and there's like kinky artwork all in the place there Oh, that sounds terrible. Where was it? I had to avoid it.

Atlanta. But man, it was a sketchy fucking building. I remember. All the furniture was... If you think that shit looks cheap, the stuff in that furniture that was in that apartment was just garbage. It was so cheap.

Yeah, I think about that too. I could do the woodworking required for that. It's just a few pieces of equipment. The upholstery would... I've never done any upholstery. My dad has done it. For me, it looks straightforward, though. My dad taught himself

to make car seats because we were restoring cars, and it was like the most expensive part that we couldn't do ourselves. I was like, I'm going to teach myself to sew this leather. Zach, can you show the link that you put in there? I just want the audience to see what one looks like.

The upholstery that you're about to see in a second audience, I've never done it, but they're just rectangular blocks. I feel like I could get it right the first try and then just get faster at it. This looks straightforward to me. Oh, yeah. Just cutting out some foam.

Yeah, on the back side. It's a 2x4 that's been cut into that shape, and so you were able to put that on a table and manipulate it and make sure you get it tight. This just doesn't scream fun vibes. What's that? Memory foam, right? I bet there's a little memory foam in there. You just wrap it, staple it in the back, attach it to the cross.

That thing's probably $1,000. That's at least $1,000, right? $700 almost. I think it's $685. I'll double check. That's a real commitment. You've got to have a room in your house for that. That can't be in the corner of your living room

when you entertain. It can, but you just redress it. I've got the thing that I hook my sex swing to is in the living room, and it's lag-bolted to the ceiling. It's just like... What's that?

I don't know. We moved in. I don't know. It bolted in like really well i'd have this area of the carpet underneath it all matted like that damn dog uh i wanted to ask on the uh the height thing finn has that kind of sucked are you like damn like i don't want to get shorter because that i would i would hate that it's the opposite i went through like when i was like growing up uh normal no the first time yeah the first time i had like a uh i i was like damn dude because i was i was 5 11 so i was that height that no one is you know i was genuinely 5 11 and i was like shit i've got

a five in front of it no girl what's a guy with a five in front of their eye this sucks i wish i was taller and then like as soon as you start going like ah you know if i if i want to present feminine like you know most women are quite short especially like in england i guess so you're kind of like okay it's a nice change especially shoe size because as soon as as you get size 9 or below in England, you get to wear pretty much all women's shoes. Then they all fit. You don't have to get any specialty shoes anymore. You don't have Peggy Hilfine.

You get locked into some stuff like Amazon drag queen heels or some bullshit, and it sucks. So it knocked you down into the nine range? So now you're there?

I'm either sized at eight or nine. Are women's shoe sizes so like a men's 10 is like a woman's 12, right? Oh, that's a better system. That is a better system system i think we even have

u.s women would that be vanity god damn conversions chart that's probably a it's probably a women's 12 or something you ever buy like an italian shoe and it's like it is a size of 42 centimeters it's like fuck you what does that mean yeah 44 in europe and a 10 in the u.s if you're a size 9 in the uk for women what size do you wear taylor 13 13 that's a big foot 13 a normal size foot not for a human no it's uh it was really laughable i uh my feet exploded when i was like in middle school so i was 13 years old and had size 13 feet. I remember having that response to the act your age, not your shoe size thing. It was like, my age is my shoe size.

Very briefly, that window existed, but it was there. I did not like that. You were 12? Yeah, 13 is too big for sure. My dad wears size 13. And when like as a young man, I would sometimes like throw on his boots or something to do a task and then be like, dude, these are huge. What's wrong with you? I feel like, and I guess this is a bias, but I feel like 14 is when it starts to get too much.

Because then like I can walk into any store and find 13s. Yeah, I agree. 14s the cutoff or 13 rather socks is the problem like might be do you wear normal socks like do you just get them off the shelf oh yeah uh yeah like the one well like they say the different sizes on them yeah but the cap at 12 it's like 8 to 12 is the standard like men's so i have some that are like 10 to 13 i guess guess. Oh, yeah. You get the extra large socks, yeah. I guess I get large socks. I didn't do that until a few years ago. My feet have been hurting my whole life.

And you've been wearing baby socks. I got those hairy feet too, so like when I pull the sock on it like the hair like goes back, so when I take them off, I gotta like rub them because that follicles have been like completely backwards all day. I shave my feet now. I don't have that problem. I also wear that socks often you don't genuinely shave your feet i you know take my razor you know that is that is how you would do that yeah yeah i don't like lather them up with like

shaving cream get a straight he's like yeah use a razor that was i wear socks every day even if i'm just staying home i always wear socks around my house no i never wear socks i wear socks every day. Even if I'm just staying home, I always wear socks around my house. No, I never wear socks. I wear socks. I doubt I have footwear on more than a few hours a week. See, if you don't wear socks in those, it becomes chemical warfare. It's so stinky. They're going to get nasty. Anything with any slippers or something like that, if you're not wearing socks with them, that's awful.

A little powder in there, we're good. Wow. A little powder? It's just going to bat down. You wear wearing socks with them, that's awful. A little powder in there, we're good. Wow. A little powder? It's just going to bat down. You wear socks with your slippers, that's dad shit. Yeah, it is dad shit. I wear socks around the house. Mom shit, Woody. What the fuck? Fuck you. Now I know you're

broke. I had to get that one. You gotta try. Have you ever had waxing done before? No. My nose and my ears. Okay, that nose is pretty bad. Was it yours?

I went to get waxed and I've heard the lady doing it was just evil. She was enjoying the whole thing and she was telling me all these stories about actors, guys that would come in and get their chests done as well as full body but they'd come back like the next day to do the chest because how much the chest hurts apparently yeah i had to get it done but it sounds terrifying where does your skin really that would be terrible i don't want my

chest where did you get wax um below the belly button like everything everything. And it was... Both sides, like front, back. That's gotta be fun when she's like, okay, now get in position. How low did she stop? Did she go to your ankles? Or did you just do the good parts? Yeah, she went... Let's talk about his asshole. I'm just trying to get... That's what we're here for.

Yeah, we are. I told people I was getting waxed and some girls I knew that were saying, like, oh, the ankles are the worst. You got to really prep for that. Wrong. Those girls have never had their balls waxed. That's...

Oh. The asshole bit, not as bad as you'd think. It was just really demeaning. How do you even wax your actual balls? Because there's so much give to a scrotum oh they're just like they're holding it like a bat wing yeah she's gonna bat wing it out for you and like get that tacky oh i saw a video the other night dude the internet's full of dirty people here we are so here i was watching this video the dude's getting like uh his dick and balls waxed

and she's being rough about it, frankly. She's taking one hand and pressing things down, and she's got the waxy thing, the paper, and she's just grabbing a handful of him and just rip, tack, rip, tack, rip the same piece. And he's getting hard, and I'm like, oh, no.

He's getting so hard, and I'm like, oh, no. And she seems dead. She's handled this problem for us. She's just kind of pushing it out of the way a little bit. Then he fucking nuts all over himself, full on, like, gasming. And she's just like, cleans him up, say a word, and keeps going.

It's like it's part of the job. Now, that's a consummate professional i was so impressed by that lady and that man and he constantly right there yeah that's you no matter how much money you're paying me there's no way i could fucking come from just like that little contact but also i guess maybe if a woman had never touched you before maybe you're just like oh i don't know i don't know but It seems like a very painful procedure to be coming during. Maybe that's what he's into. He's into pain.

That's the easiest way to pay for it. He's got no hair. The way you... They trim... If you get your chest waxed, they trim your hair down first, right? They don't just rip off the long chest hair.

It's supposed to be long. It doesn't work if it's trimmed. they trim your hair down first, right? They don't just rip off the long chest hair. Oh, no. It's supposed to be long. Yeah, it doesn't work if it's trimmed. Oh. It needs a grip. If you were freshly shaved, for example, they'd tell you to come back later. You ever seen a black dude wax his whole head?

No. Hilarious. It's hilarious. You've probably noticed that African-American gentlemen will often have that very smooth on top look. And I always thought, you know, you just go. They hit that thing with a razor every morning, and I'm sure a lot of them do. But I guess if you're really trying to save some time in the morning, you know, they like to get to work early. I hear you get your whole head waxed.

And so I saw this guy and he's got like a crown of wax. They don't add the paper. They don't. They don't add the paper. They don't, they have a strip or whatever. They just put a crown of wax on him and they just start working it, you know, from like the sideburns start rolling it up the side of his head and sometimes get the jerk in a little.

And, and you know, it's moving his whole head. He's getting pulled up fucking ramp and he's screaming in pain. And there it is. And the guy guy's like it's still pussy and he's like it was one of the most horrific things i'd ever seen i've also seen him get their whole beards waxed i saw an asian guy do that um i saw an asian guy get his whole like he didn't have much of a beard he's got less than i got less than but it was a beard nonetheless and they're waxing his full face oh my god how that sounds i would pay to not have my face waxed that seems painful

you did it once no no that's i pay to watch that happen that's i didn't get it in but i didn't want to be gross about it but that's how they did it that's how they did it down there like that hole like there's no paper but she did she didn't do that roll thing she just kind of gave it like a good like halfway like a third each time hang on to your balls I was feeling really

confident because she did all the legs I was like that was easy that wasn't too bad everyone was hyping up for no reason then she did that and as soon as I went like and she giggled. All those people in the back of those videos, those barbershop videos, they're all laughing their fucking heads off

doing that. What do you do about your facial hair? You just don't have much? I don't have much. I'll dry shave every now and then. I'll just run over. I grow hair here and the sides of there. but has that changed the hrt no i didn't grow a fish out before i was built for this yeah you gotta get the electrolysis you gotta get the electrolysis ma'am you gotta get to get those don't do a dude smarmy voice do a girl smarmy

like shit it just apparently it hurts like hell can you buy yeah i to a girl smarmy voice. They should. It just apparently hurts like hell. Can you buy an electrolysis stuff from Amazon? I know a girl who got her whole vagina electrolysist. That's permanent, right? Or maybe not permanent but lasts a long time? It's somewhat permanent. We've been through this before.

They grab it with these special tweezers that have an electricity hook to them. They fry the follicle. Then they pluck the hair. It doesn't come back for a long time like it's it's years of relief for you it's i think it might be permanent because i've heard of like i've heard in like i've got a list that might half my story is going to be i've heard this trans girl there's like all like trans community stuff if you're getting your like bottom surgery you've got to do electrolysis on on on there so you know when they do the it's gonna tuck it back into you yeah yeah so it doesn't you know it doesn't cause any issues

with like hair growth or anything like that for surgery you get that done first you're keeping the penis right yeah that seems like a good decision good decision let me just say this like like like but i could get on board with just about anything but that bottom surgery is wackadoo they have not they're not done yet okay it's like wright brothers there's a guy on the plane in the prone position hanging on with that technique okay we don't have a cockpit yet so to speak actually we, we do. We have a cockpit because they cut a hole and then they shove your cock into it inside out.

It doesn't work right. That's not going to work right. You have to keep that thing like... You have to insert those things to keep your hole from closing back up because it's technically a wound. It's a wound. There's no way it smells good. The average vagina has a hard time smelling good. A real vagina has a hard time smelling good. It's a wound. There's no way it smells good. The average vagina has a hard time

smelling good. A real vagina has a hard time smelling good. It's not its best trait. Imagine what one of those man-made jobs is up to down there, growing yeast and fucking... You can make beer with what comes out of there. I don't know, Kyle. In my automotive experience, sometimes the aftermarket

stuff is better than the stock stuff. I would agree with you if we're strapping on some titties or an ass, but we're not doing that. We're cutting the fuel injectors out and putting a new carburetor on, but we inverted it first. It doesn't make any sense. We're at the level, remember that flight

where the guy was like, if I put a bunch of spirals on top of this bicycle and pump it, it'll take off. So we need to get past that level of technology i like the one that was just the flying contraption you sit in it yeah and it's just a like a porch umbrella that bounces up and down rapidly and so the guy inside is also like hippity hoppity i still feel like that should work a little like if the umbrella could close on the upstroke and then open for the downstroke why doesn't that that's how the material would if it if the material was full of cells that that would close on the downstroke but open on the upstroke so you're grabbing more air

every time it's literally reaching up and grabbing air and now you're just gotten to a flight technique that's just more difficult than normal flight well i know i'm trying to make a new one here like that is how the kick works in the breaststroke i think it's called the frog kick and and basically they just you know they bring their legs forward in a more efficient way then they bring them back if you looked at the uh helicopters are kind of what we do for that but if you remember in dune they had those ornithopters that that were based on a dragonfly that's that's one of the cooler flying contraptions i've ever seen from sci-fi everybody else just straps jets onto the side of something and says yeah they're magic jets that push incredibly hard forever because but they were just like no i

put some wings on that bitch just fluttering around that was neat it is cool i like ornithopters very very mystical reminds me of like lord of the rings or magic the gathering because obviously there's a lot of magic the Gathering ornithopter cards. You guys all know that. Obviously, yeah. I mean, there's so many. Everybody knows. I couldn't even begin to list them.

I keep my list of favorite Magic cards and my favorite Bible verses together. Is there anything that you've really disliked at the HRT where you've been like, oh, this sucks. It's just like I think it's like, again, this is going to feel gross, but like HRT, it's estrogen. It's switching a lot of your functions to like how a girl would. So a lot of your male functions a little bit harder to get there. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, you know, I need that.

What's the pki sponsor again yeah there's that and also those like you know the pills oh shit yeah that you need some lock and load i bet you're not gasming the same way some lady loads the the all right this feels so weird the feeling is you get like a half experience of I imagine what like a female like orgasm would be like. It feels way better. You cum way less. It sucks. It's like

it's weird. I'm trying to process that. So when you do orgasm, it's stronger but you don't orgasm as often or easily. As easily. Yeah. Okay. And he's not making as much jism, Woody. His lady sperm is lacking. I think you're just saying it's a lot of hard work to get over the edge.

No, it calls right to you. Yeah, well, yeah, I guess so. But that's not what you're talking about, I don't think. Yeah, because if your balls are shrinking, I guess it's making less fluid. You threw me at lady sperm. Yeah, you did. fluid.

You threw me at lady's bum. Yeah, you did. Yeah, and so it's hard to get hard and come, and then when you do come, are you always like, it's going to be a big one that's like... It's like, oh man, it felt like it was going to be more than that. Everyone deals with that sometimes.

Have you tried the didalafil yet though finster uh yeah weirdly enough i i tried it that so it's less so a problem of like getting up there and and more problem of like getting over the edge getting over the edge but you know it does it it's compensated by like it feels way better it is like a nuts thing i bet you there's like there's some mad scientist out there working on a way to just get that one thing so you can put it over to guys.

That would be sweet. Do you inject estrogen or is there a patch? You can do whatever. In America, they do injections most of the time or like oral, like pills. In the UK, you usually either have pills or like a gel or a patch

i use a gel i've got it somewhere gel where do you put it on your thigh and your gooch you can you that is a you can but it's like i think doctors will say like not to because it will go estrogen can fuck up your liver sometimes that's why people don't do it and it can rub off on your partner too you give them a little gooch estrogen. That's a genuine thing. I can't pick up the puppy. I stopped putting estrogen on my arms because I can't cuddle my girlfriend or pick up the puppy. It sucks. But I just do inner thigh, and then it's fine.

Do you have to do that every day? Yeah, that's the thing that's annoying. If you do injections, you do it once a week. It's easy. Testosterone is the same way. That's how I know all that. I thought you said the gels weren't good for like test testosterone i don't think it is in my from all that i have learned and all the people i've talked to and three doctors i've spoken to it just seems like it for the purposes that i had and that most guys

are going to have um it just makes a lot more sense to inject. But there were pellets they could put into your skin that would slowly dissolve. I was like, I don't want you injecting a fucking pellet into me occasionally. And then there was patches and gels, I think. And I'm pretty sure it was going to go in my gooch. I was like, I don't want to be rubbing some gel on my gooch. Then I have to be, all right, my hands are now contaminated. Now, if I were to touch my girlfriend,

then she would absorb the testosterone. Slowly, she's getting fucking jacked up. Now you've got competition? Yeah, yeah. I'm watching her PRs fucking skyrocket over there. She's squatting 450. I'm like, what the fuck? She starts peeing standing up.

Yeah, she already does that. What a mess. I don't know why. At first, I thought the dog's word broke it in. She said the patriarchy. She said she will not sit for the patriarchy. And she lets it fly. God, it's awful.

Damn. Empowered. I would much rather do any sort of treatment with gels than injections really even hormones or something else yeah like if it was like oh you have a stomach ache do you want to get an injection or a gel like give me the gel i think the thing is it's like you if you get like one of those little things i bet you carly's gone off camera but like if you have like a one of those little vials they last like six months to a year but the amount of gel you need is like one thing one pump thing a month and it's like the size of like one of those you know those thin coke cans or

something like that is it like expensive it for testosterone yeah like if you're a trans guy yeah oh yeah he's have you not seen murphy yet no well behaved look at him but yeah like if you if you do um i've lost the plot i'm looking at the dog adorable dog i love i love kyle's newest edition i think more than any of the others not that toby's a bad boy but that he's a favorite at all. Certainly better than Rocky. I don't pick favorites amongst dogs. Taylor does freely. He rack ranks them right in front of him. Oh, yeah.

Whoever the littlest and cutest dog is usually my favorite, where it's just like, oh, I just want to snuggle with it. You're going to be my buddy. Yeah, no, I would never buy a Great Dane or a Giant Dog like that. That's probably what I'll get next time. If I get anything.

I'm kind of tossed around the idea of not being tied down. Another recommendation is a Great Dane mix. When I was shopping for dogs, I saw so many interesting Great Dane mixes. One of them that's kind of plain Jane, but it looked like a pretty neat dog, was half German Shepherd and half Great Dane. And they just add great to whatever the other dog is so it's a great shepherd now and you're like oh fuck yeah so there's a i was looking at a great borzoi at one point i was looking at an irish wolfhound slash borzoi at one

point irish wolfhound plus borzoi is the most absurd looking mythological beast you've ever seen i'm so glad you didn't go for Borzoi. Those are not cute dogs. They're beautiful. They're called Longboys, B-O-Y-E-S, and that's the subreddit. Oh, is it the one with the super long, like, whippet nose? Yeah, got that big, crazy snoot. They mix that with Irish Wolfhound, which also has a big snoot,

but it's that big, shaggy motherfucker that looks like the Beast of Birmingham or some nonsense. So I like all those weird mixes. I also, you know, you remember back in the day when you were going to get a dog and I was like, Willie, the king of dogs is the wolf hybrid. And you're like, oh, you're right. Let me look into this.

I was like, no, no, it's not Kyle. The bitch of wolves is the wolf dog hybrid. It is still a wolf though. Yeah, that's the problem. I did look into it that you really planted a seed there but um they're really skittish like and they're not they don't develop a bond with the family and i was like this wasn't my target yeah yeah i i met one of those and was really blown away by and i think if you're a single guy like on a ranch like like

like that guy is then it's probably great but it wouldn't work for a family they're just like you said skit they're wolves they're still there's they're and you can change the the ratio of wolf to dog give me this you cocksucker he's like yeah but that sucks though because like the better a dog it is the less cool a wolf it is and that happens in cats too like you can get this whatever sphininks, or Lynx, I want to say. Your versus house cat blend. The more Lynx it has, the worse a pet it is, but it

looks dope. And then as you get cattier, it's not unique anymore. Yeah, I think I'm done with getting dogs for a little while. Would you stop at six? Four. I think I'm done with getting dogs for a little while. Would you stop at six? Four. Four.

I think whenever Rocky fucking dies, I will not replace Rocky. He's the one. Actually, that's kind of flattering to Rocky. A little bit. It's like he retired his number. Yeah, exactly. No one can sit on his old couch. Is he old?

Yeah. When I got him, he was like seven or eight. And that's been a couple years ago. And he's a Malamute. I got him, he was like seven or eight, and that's been a couple years ago, and he's a Malamute. I think they live to be like 10 or 13 or something. And he's just like an old man personality. Malamutes are like, I don't know, he's a cat.

He sits on his old couch and doesn't really hang out with us at all. One died recently also. Yeah, Pomeranian died last fall. She's already been, already been over so yeah that's what this little guy's for he he replaced uh the other pomeranian who is pulling on electrical cables right now and doing his best to like the other day i was gaming and he had chewed right through the ethernet cable at my feet just just did it end your game like did he oh yeah oh yeah just

just disconnected me from the game from discord. I'm like dang pop Internet went out. What are you doing little buddy? Our friendship is over. I got plenty of those eats neck cables. I didn't know he's alright Are you playing any games Spencer? Are you just just selling but I? Just pull and hold it just pull and hold dude there's uh i've honestly every time i've been trying not to get into a new video game because i know i'll get addicted to it like i've got that addictive personality sort of thing but just for video games like the thing that i keep getting onto for a bit is just modded versions of games that i like like um blade and sorcery i've talked about

that so much blade and sorcery like any of the mods for that it's just infinite content or like modded minecraft or something i know hell divers is getting massive and i just know it'll waste all my time bro ma'am look miss you've got to like get on this l divers thing so you take your stream deck yeah and you uh you put the stratagems on there oh i'm gonna turn it and so like you just tap the button and it instantly calls in whatever you and you just go in your software and drag and drop these so there's like pages and pages of these that's sick you like flick through the pages i it's it's excellent what's that they nerfed a bunch of shit recently, right? I kept hearing about that.

They balanced some stuff and people got mad because the meta of the game changed so they couldn't use one weapon to do everything. It's good to have a meta shift. Yeah, it's fine. They're still balancing things out and people are getting mad along the way. But that's alright. It's a fucking video game. People are cheating

at that game. People cheat at's alright. It's a fucking video game. People are cheating at that game. People cheat at that game. It's PVE. It's ridiculous. It's a really fun game. It's what I've been playing the most of. I'm a little burnt out on it now. I've been playing it for maybe a month now, but it's really good. I actually don't care if people cheat

PVE. Is there some reason I should? Oh, well, the main reason is it's like COD when people would make those lobbies. You can accidentally join a lobby and it'll give you all the currency that you can possibly ever want. And so it's like you don't have a grind to do

anymore and that's kind of what... I play... I'm done with that grind now and I'm kind of done with the game. A lot of people are like, I've got everything unlocked and now... So you done with the game like a lot of people are like i've got everything unlocked and now so you need a new game now kind of um the boys are very old game kyle the boys are playing rust right now they're like like like uh my core group of buddies are playing rust right now they uh they want to come do that rust is like that drug that i've quit

like if anyone's got some, there's... Well, I mean, I'm going to be playing some Rust with the boys tonight in the Discord that you're a member in. So just slide right in there. You could start fucking getting some scrap. Were you addicted to Rust, Finn? I was like the perfect teammate because I just love the farming element of it.

Like, I build the base and stuff. I do the farming. I love that shit. Is your character a boy or a girl in rest it's random isn't it it's always the same though like you can't change it i think oh am i right kyle yeah in my experience because because i've always been an asian guy with a with a big old hawk he's just they they changed it though i think they made the asian guy's dick smaller at some point because they added realism well no you you had like a variable on the penis it seemed like because i knew this other guy he had a he had a small dick asian and i we'd all laugh

at him and uh but but my guy was hung and i'm sure it was cute no no it was uncut it was disgusting. Big old Asian ant eater. It was not fun to look at. And my buddy was a bald black woman, so we'd tool around together, get stuff done. Fucking Rainbow Coalition. Yeah, a little diversity team. Yeah, diversity team. But I haven't played it in a while.

It is addictive. They're playing it right now. I'm probably going to slide in there tonight and get re-addicted to it, because I love the farming of it. I like organizing the fucking base, if I'm being honest. I like going in and putting all the fucking charcoal

in one box and all the wood in another box. It's Minecraft for grown-ups. Oh yeah, it absolutely is. I mean, Minecraft's Minecraft for grown-ups at this point, but it does have that more edgy version of Minecraft, like 3D version of Minecraft. All of these are things that Minecraft already does, but it does it that more edgy version of Minecraft, like 3D version of Minecraft. All of these are things that Minecraft already does,

but it does it in a different way. It's interesting you can't customize your character. That seems like such a baseline thing in every game now. I love that you can't. The first time you play, there's a big high-stakes thing that you can't control, and then you're like there it is that's that's what you look like boom you often you don't really see your character too much after

a certain phase of the game you've always got like armor on you know which you can customize yeah yeah yeah there's there's a whole skin uh economy on some people fat and some people like jacked no everybody's uh everybody's fit you know the best part is everybody starts out naked i always love that that you start out naked on the beach that's a choice right i think you'd start out in underwear like you can make it oh yeah you can yeah for streamers and and content creators and stuff there's like a twitch mode where you just click and it throws underwear on you but the underwear isn't a removable item it's just twitch would care about fake penises in a video game with

yeah what they have on i think so like imagine if you played one of those porn hub downloadable downloadable games on twitch like they probably wouldn't want that there was a really fun situation on twitch that lasted like a week which was hilarious because everyone thought it was going to go wrong and did they basically said like there are a bunch of these art channels and people you know the whole thing of like oh i, I can't show titties. But like, what if I draw it? Yeah. What then?

That was still like bannable. Like how realistic could you make a dick on your screen and it like get you banned on Twitch for like nudity? So they went, OK, fuck it. If it's drawn, it's fine. And that went so wrong because there's like I don't know. Do you know like what VTubers are? Yep. Yeah.

Yeah. They pretend to be a cartoon while they're talking so for like a good few days it was like vtuber avatars just fully nude pussy dicks boobs out and no and everyone just went like this there's no way this isn't gonna backfire and they took it down like within days they removed the rule and everything the most recent thing i read about was i guess they to backfire and they took it down within days. They removed the roll and everything. The most recent thing I read about was I guess they were green screen in their titties and ass and playing the game on their titties and ass. I'm sitting here but my chest is the gameplay

because I've got green titties and so as I play the game Mario's running around on my titties. That would lower overall tit visibility. I think people liked it. I think they maybe did a better job of what i'm describing it of selling it because they had to ban what did they they had a way of wording it things that have synced if a certain intimate area is on screen for so long how that dog just bit the shit out of me then um then uh you know it's bannableable offense it's weird the back and forth where no one wants

to just be like what's the old saying like like it's hard to define porn but you know it when you see it yeah it just needs to be you know it when you see it kind of situation the only problem is those twitch mods they like pussy too it's true and they're gonna look the other way for their favorite uh pussy habit yeah and big yeah yeah those guys like hop into the chick stream they're like hey mod here and she's like oh everyone say hey to my favorite twitch mod he runs things around here he makes sure no one shows too much titty some goblin oh i'm always teething it's never against the rules if it's the first time that's usually what they're going on like those streamers and stuff they'll have they'll have like uh the streamer that did this originally was like camera on the ground while she was on like a treadmill

or something like pointed up at her ass and had like green underwear on so she could green screen fortnite art because you can't just show your ass like that on twitch so the gameplay is what's censoring it not well yeah and so twitch mods kind of have to go like i guess we didn't explicitly say you can't play fortnite on your ass yeah but now you can't there's a lot of airbud rules going on on twitch it's like well it doesn't explicitly say that i can't play a platformer across my erect penis and green underwear have you been banned from twitch yet yeah i've been banned i think i think only once and i got it was it might have been twice i got banned for touching before i was on hrt and before i came out or anything like that when i was just

in like an outfit that you could... There was visible boob there. I just went, God, look at these motherfuckers. This is wild, isn't it? And then Twitch said, it's excessive groping of female presenting breasts. And at the time, which was nuts

because if you look girly enough, Twitch can ban you because your guy could do that. Guy could do that. Guy could do that and it's fine. But then the other side of things, women get an awful lot of like, you know, there's tons of streamers that do that sort of thing and they're fine. I saw this happen in real life

the other day. There was a police activity video and the cops get called to a hotel pool. Not a nice hotel. Don't imagine the fucking, They were in Vegas or something. No. We're at like Motel 6 or some shit. And this person is out by the pool topless.

Big titties out. And they're like, Kit, you gotta leave. You gotta leave. Your titties are out. And they go, why? I'm a man. What do you mean? I'm a man. What do you mean? I'm a man. I'm a man. I gotta wear a top?

You've got titties. You can't have them out. You gotta go. That's it. Cover them titties up. We're going to jail. And I loved how straightforward it was. We're not gonna talk about pronouns. We're not gonna talk about who you are. You got titties out.

There's kids over there. You coming with me or you're putting them away? Yeah, shut that down. Did you see the Planet Fitness thing? No. All right. So it's a not great gym and has a bad reputation. Zach, if you can find the photo of the person who was photographed in the Planet Fitness gym,

that will come in handy in a few seconds. So basically this lady got – she was in the bathroom at Planet Fitness, and she saw a man shaving in the women's room at Planet Fitness. She took a picture of him because there was a man shaving in the women's room at Planet Fitness. He reported her, and she got banned from Planet Fitness. Then she showed everybody the photo of this this man

man. This bloke. This man who looks as manly as, well not any of us here, but like as most It's like a normal dad. That looks like a normal dad. Okay? Okay. Yeah, you know, that is off-putting anyway she took a picture of that man over there

i i don't know what that left picture is but i took a picture of that man over there and then she got banned for planet fitness and then she went online and said hey i was in the women's room trying to get dressed and this man was in there shaving his face with this razor and uh and and so she was banned and i think their stock prices dropped significantly they got one of those bud light type reactions from from folks i think maybe the stock dropped significantly though like maybe i bet their revenue doesn't change that much because it's a gym the overwhelming majority forgot they bought it in the first place i mean they like you don't go i got a question for you

i because about bathroom because i'm guessing this is like uh someone that was like identifying as trans right and that's why they're like using the restroom you would assume so yeah so like okay i do i still go to the men's bathrooms but i look like this only because only because that's what that's where i feel most comfortable and it's really funny to go to a urinal and see everyone kind of go. I've had a lot of people walk into the restroom and then see me and then get shocked and go, oh, fuck, and walk out and check the sign. Checking the door. Dude, that's the best prank ever.

That's the best YouTube prank. You in the men's room and when guys come in you freak what are you doing in here i do that all the time i don't say anything but i'll go i'll make my eyes wide like i'll see them and go like that just for fun the other thing is you can really intimidate people like i know when i was at the cinema you know like when you get out the cinema and everything like that, there's like a rush to go to this bathroom that's closest to the screen. Yeah. I learned that I can, I benefited from homophobia because they were genuinely scared. So I could just look at people just dead in the ice stone face and they just go, okay, I'll go to the other one.

Once you start using the urinal, like a professional, they're like, oh, all right. You know? Yeah, I'm not hiking up a skirt. I'm still in trousers and everything like that. But I'm dressed like a guy, but my face doesn't quite scream dude. That is a good prank. It's a weird one. The bathroom thing is weird because what do you do?

What's the right thing to do? I was going to ask this one. Yeah, I don't have a good answer for it. When I see that photo from earlier, I'm like, I'm a lady. I'm real uncomfortable. When I look over and I see Woody shaving his face next to me, that guy vibes as much man as Woody does.

You know what I mean? Almost. Yeah. Almost, not quite. That's true but but like but like i would be so uncomfortable if i'm a lady in there and i and i saw just woody in there fucking shaving in the women's room like whoa what are you sir mister uh excuse me what would you the wrong place i think the female version of you would be i think you would be no version of me he's like a dirty slut i'm like hey yeah yeah you came to the right women's room sir yeah that's what i was thinking you hang dong let's see

like you know like women version of me is a dirty dirty bitch but like you know there's kids in there maybe or like like mothers and grannies and shit like coming in there doing their pilates or whatever oh heavens me i haven't seen a cock since since the eisenhower how are you seeing cock in a women's restroom even if like those are stalls if instance they didn't know the right answer to me it was ladies restroom and it's because of the stalls you can just go in there you know enjoy your privacy and go out and no one's no one's gonna blink twice no one's gonna blink i'll freak less people out if i go into a women's restroom and shut the fuck up because i can't do like a voice or anything like that to make me sound more feminine it's a weird skill to learn but like i can go into a

men's restroom and i will freak everyone out but it just seems like if you're gonna pick a group to freak out you know i'd rather it be like guys because i don't know what to do they're less likely to yell at you and those guys like those guys don't feel threatened by you they're just like yeah what what they're just kind of bamboozled, I would assume. Did that lady just walk into the men's room on accident? Oh, clearly not. Peeing, standing up. Okay, that's what's going on. Yeah, I wouldn't mind that. I've never encountered that, but it wouldn't bother me. I haven't either, but I wouldn't care.

It wouldn't bother me a bit if there was a woman-woman in there. Yeah, I've definitely seen... I said a woman-woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? A stock woman with no aftermarket accessories in a men's bathroom okay let's care I didn't care

the answer to it usually is just that needs to be just a thorough bathroom or just like make gender neutral bathrooms really you can't have them all be unisex because there are creeps that are going to go try and pee and shit next to little girls.

And you got to prioritize the comfort of the women in the women's room. That guy who was getting waxed and jizzming is going to be in there. His other thing is to take big stinky dukes next to the little girls. I'm like, what if bathrooms were just better? American bathrooms. Finster, you've been to America. There's gaps. You can see the people through there.

What the fuck is up with that? Why would you build them like that? This is a first world country with third world bathrooms. We don't want you hanging out in there. It is the worst. Do your business and get going. But hypothetically, if they really upgraded it, instead of those bullshit stalls you could see through,

there were walls made of drywall and two by fours. And so everyone had a little room with a regular door then they could all be unisex I'd say you go the opposite direction you go sex positive make them a lot of glass get people used to it you know there's a lot of ugly people out there I don't like that can I request magnifying

glass that guy's shredded and has a huge cock really it'd be like a funhouse mirror where it's like, oh, this guy's fat and all the wrong places. No, I'll just get a little shorter. Now I'm hot. Coming out of the side. I have a big chest and a small waist. The best bathrooms I've been to were unisex.

And the way they did it was really clever, which was just like they had a communal washing hands area and that was it like it's all the same room there are stalls kind of it's a relatively big bathroom in this case i guess that's kind of why it works and there's just stalls and they're completely self-contained the place i'm thinking of is a place called sketch it's got the weirdest i'm not sure if zach can google it but it's worth it they're like pods they're like eggs so you just walk into this little pod egg, do your business, and go wash your hands with everyone else, and it doesn't really matter. That's probably the best way

you could do it. Secure, both visibly and with a good lock on the bathroom stall. It shouldn't be a stall like we're used to seeing, where you see people's feet. It should be a closed room. You can't let men go to a place like that, though. I do.

If you let men go there, they'll fuck each other in those places. That's true. That is 100. Kyle's right. If you allow men to go into a bathroom like this, there's going to be an orgy going on in there when you go in. Yeah. Well, they're not that big. They're like a sport.

They'll find a way. They need room for two. Yeah. And also now, we don't get to enjoy having shorter lines for the sink at fucking hockey games. Really? So we have to subsume all the traffic

from the ladies' toilet? No, thank you. No, thank you. If men start suffering, the problem will get solved. Hmm? Probably not. What is that?

There's no way I'm going to that, Finster. That's wild. It looks weird. It's like alien. Wait, you shit in those? They're full bathroom cubicles. That... You know, maybe our system isn't that bad.

There's a few different ones. That's a really small room, to be honest with you. It feels like you could fit more regular stalls in here than the five eggs. I don't know. It is like a novelty. I would push your egg over. I guess it's for fun. Hopefully it's cemented to the ground,

because otherwise, some drunk hoodlum is going to wander in and be like, I'm in the ladies' room. It's a challenge. If you pass gas forcefully enough, it launches. Or you gas yourself to death, and that's a small space.

Yeah, that's like a self-enforced, like, don't shit too hard. I remember hearing about these guys who were held prisoner in Mexico, and they were on a diet of spinach and beans, and they were held in this small cell for several days. And apparently, they farted so much that one of the guys died. He succumbed to the fumes. There's no way that that is there no way you're making it up you gotta you cannot die from a too bad of a fart unless the fart is so bad because like your insides are rotten no no it happened g gordon liddy told me about it on his radio show when I was 12. And I've remembered it ever since.

You don't know who G. Gordon Liddy is? The Watergate break-in. He's a right-wing crook. Joseph Gordon Levy is who I was thinking of. Leavitt. He is a right-wing crook. I was like, what? Yep. Nixon got us to the moon, man. A little appreciation. Oh, that's true.

Did he actually? He was president at the time. Yeah, was he? Okay. For some reason I thought JFK was. No, JFK was killed six years earlier. I don't know if they recorded it or not. Certainly not. But I know that I've seen the speech,

the address that Nixon was to give if the astronauts died. And it's like, fuck. We fucked up. I think there was an address for what to do if they just were stuck up there. Because when the first lander landed, it fucked up its leg. They landed on a rock or something and it messed up they weren't sure if they were going to be able to leave or not that's totally believable have

you seen so how shitty those things look i mean it doesn't it looks fragile if i had to move that into my friend's garage there's no chance that we don't break something the tinfoil bar ripped off that was the solar array the solar array not very sturdy looking yeah that would have been sad if they were just like well they're stuck up there and they have

23 more hours of oxygen and then the worst part is their buddies up there circling the moon and he's like looks like I pulled the short straw and won. Because, you know, two of them get to go down and fucking walk on the moon. And the third guy has to stay up in the capsule or whatever and do laps around the moon to pick them up. I'd rather be in Houston if I got to be a part of it. Yeah.

Come on. Like today, we're putting a moon crew together and you win. Your box of cereal has the... The first one we've done in like 60 years? No. I'm going to let them figure it out, get it to be like a weekend trip. I'm going to wait until Sandals is selling shuttles up there and then I'll go. You could strap me to the front of that spacecraft and I'd go. You could put me on the front like a fucking hood ornament and I'd go.

What are you going to do when you get there? Bounce around? Play your hate golf i'm going to be the 17th man to ever be on the fucking moon or whatever it is like like that's the name of the third guy who was on the moon stop i don't have a short list i just want to be one of them okay i don't know who won every super bowl but i'd love to be a super Bowl winner. That's a short list. I think you're the best golfer on the call. Do you think you could hit a golf ball out of orbit on the moon?

No. No, I don't think. Could anyone? I don't know how it works. I'll admit my knowledge of everything involved in that question is lacking. I don't know. And I'm the best golfer in like in the way that like none of you golf so i would i would still i bet i could really hammer it though actually you know

golf would be a blast on the moon you're driving at 700 yards why would it stop there's no atmosphere there yeah it's gonna be grabbing ahead the day later just gravity but not in a lot what is this it's still like what is that it's like one third it's like one third gravity and and i think there's oh my god the dog is biting my feet so hard i mean it's it's an attack don't correct him let him grow into it i'm kicking him as much as you can kick a small dog putting chocolate on your feet dark chocolate just power didn't even think about what I was saying. Cocoa is more valuable than copper now. Did you read that? I saw that and I don't understand why.

It's because we, well, they don't want us to mine the cocoa with slaves anymore for some reason. Where are we going to get our chocolate? I like that old timey chocolate. That's how I would advertise at my chocolate company. Oh, God. Harvested the old fashioned way. And you see like a child with missing one hand like like hurrying up a ladder to get those cocoa beans missing a hand how intense is is the chocolate business well he wasn't working because i went fucking full leopold mode and i chopped off his

hand because it wasn't enough cocoa last that's such a stupid move if you got a team collecting chocolate for you and you start cutting hands off only the slowest no one is gonna yeah but that's still now you've that guy's never going to be a good chocolate collector he wasn't to begin with but now everybody else is like 10 better no i do positive reinforcement it'd be like everybody gets to keep 10 of the chocolate you get every day and then i sell them back diabetes medication at a huge profit now i'm making money hand over fist oh i think i think someone already took that idea it's called the united states government oh fuck our health care system beat us do it yeah yeah they feed us corn syrup and rip us off on the insulin with their right. Like, I'm pretty sure that they came up with that idea a long time ago.

Yeah, corn syrup is wild. The more they look into it, the more they're like, yeah, this really isn't. This is worse. This is even worse than we thought it was for you folks. They were sitting around in a secret cabal worshiping that owl out there. And they were like, yes, the corn syrup. That is the way. there and they were like yes the corn sir that is the way if it were if it were that evil though i don't think they would have they would have kept giving mexico delicious sugar coke that

delicious sugary coke that they've got i worry about where they source their water though you know i've never worried that yeah in mexico yeah no mexican water gives you the poops no that's a myth plausible no it is yeah you don't want to drink the water down there it's not good the guy is asleep at the wheel hat over his eyes at the mexican water plant completely checked out to see if I could order. I've never had the corn syrup Coke before. Apparently, it's like... Really?

You guys have full sugar Coke there? You have real sugar? Yeah. I drink Coke Zero, so I'm not going to know the difference anyway. But I want to try corn syrup Coke. They do the real sugar versions of our sodas occasionally as like a limited time oh you can have the good stuff for a week kind of thing like when they have real sugar pepsi it's like yeah i'm gonna have one of those yeah it's like it's

better it's more of a fruitier sweeter taste nobody likes the corn syrup kind of more no i've had like i've had um what are the fountain drinks i think? I've had one of those at a Starbucks and I had Subway and I had Fanta and it tasted awful. But that might just be a fountain drink thing. It could be, but it definitely had corn syrup. And if you're used to

delicious real... Man, that pisses me off. I didn't know Europe was getting good soda too. I just looked up why the US has corn syrup in their soda. Maybe everyone knows in Kyle. Subsidies. Yeah. Yeah, corn is subsidized in America.

Therefore, corn syrup is cheap, and they cheaped out and used a cheaper sweetener. Boom. Don't like that. We got to go back to sugar. You guys get the best candies, though. I'll give you that. We do have the best candies. I think America has the best candy on the planet planet by far i haven't given a fair shake

to european candies if you had to put a european candy up there against american candy finn what would you recommend do you have like but you've got most of the shit ah we have all the good shit okay you'll order a turkish delight off Amazon and you'll be like other countries settle for this bullshit candy. It's horrible. My friend was like, hey, do you want to try some traditional Yugoslavian candies? This is back when Yugo was a place. I'm like, this is

candy to you? There's like meat in it. No one does candy like America. No one comes close. Do you guys have dairy milk like Cadbury? We have cadbury milk but i uh like cadbury dairy milk it's like just a plain chocolate bar because realistically i've had a hershey's bar and it doesn't stand a candle dairy milk chocolate it goes so hard it's the best can it's the best chocolate bar i think you've got everything else

because you do have better candy in every other way we have this one i just linked it i've i don't know if i've ever had it but like is this stuff yeah is there yeah but i bet ours has corn syrup in it probably not as tasty not sure i don't know i don't know how i bet on that but um yeah i i do know some people like the darker chocolate or they don't like the american version of chocolate with all the milk and sugar but if you don't like hershey's we have it all yeah and it's not like it's hard to find like that gas station has everything you want your hershey's gets ripped on and it's just because like i remember like good memories of eating it on like halloween as a kid but like In a blue moon, a little bit of Hershey's is kind of nice. I like that.

I know it is like the laughing stock of the chocolate. With almonds or without? Either way. I do like preference to be with almonds. Me too. That's a little bit of texture there. Plus, sometimes when you want to break it along the lines, the almonds make you eat

too. You're like, oh, shucks. Now I got to eat the whole thing. We were talking about candy because out of nowhere, I had three intense urges today to have Oreos delivered to my house. Just to order Oreos because i'm like man i want some fucking oreos i want the i want the birthday cake kind the last couple times i've had oreos i've been all in on the birthday cake kind which is very good and of course i didn't do it because i have a bad track record of not eating the entire thing when i have oreos delivered to my house and

that's like if you look at the back, man, you eat all three or four of those sleeves, it's like 2,200 calories. Yeah, there's a reason why it's on the back. You're not supposed to read that. Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah. Knowledge is not what I want in that situation.

Just to settle it, by the way, I googled most popular British candy. All of them are bad. They are british and that's it that's really not great and britain gets gets a bad rap on food but the british don't help it by someone posting a picture of like barely toasted toast and then the beans and i'm like i need a brit to come in here and be like oh governor this ainvno, this ain't what we be eating and then like, it is though, it is though delicious and I'm like, oh my god

you're starting your day with the fucking two cups of beans Finn has cans of Heinz beans in her house right now they're Heinz beans with that light blue they got that light blue label, don't they yeah, they're good okay, look, there's every American that I've ever made beans on toast

for has the same reaction they go oh it's not that bad it's it's all right and that's it it's never bad but it's mid yeah yeah because we're polite people and we're liars we are fibbers notorious i mean and it's it sucks because someone will post like a full english breakfast and it's like roasted potatoes solid those tomatoes look good bacon sausage eggs everything else looks like a winner a delicious meal that i would eat and then just a third of the plate is beans yeah that's not right that's a piece of bread you need butter on that thing get a piece of sourdough bread or something. You gotta make it nice. That's like messier than the burrito. This is the equivalent

of like pulling up a grilled cheese sandwich and the cheese is like hot. It's like a sweet sauce on the beans. It reminds me a little bit of southern baked beans almost. It's something that we drink. It's something that we eat with like tangy, spicy pork.

So again, it's always been weird to me, the beans for breakfast thing. Something that we eat with tangy, spicy pork. Again, it's always been weird to me, the beans for breakfast thing. Something happened to y'all. World War II was a formative time for the planet. Every group got its own thing. The Japanese, we turned them people into

eel fucking femboys, every single one with those nuclear weapons. The Britsits they lived under that blitz for too long they had to live on that that those rations for too long with the germans bombing them and so they never started eating good food again yeah yeah it could be true i mean that's a good scientific we all we had the jelly deals and stuff i'm not sure if that's still a still a thing anywhere in england but that's probably the most disgusting thing I've heard, that that's like a cultural thing here.

One thing that we get no education about, well, one more thing that we get no education about is the deal with Ireland and England and just how much awful has happened and how recently awful things have happened. I saw a thing today and it was Cill celian murphy you know that actor right the guy from um yeah from everything he was in albheimer most recently and uh he was he's in uh what's the the tv show uh the p blinders yeah uh but he's like got his hands in his pockets when he's meeting the prince and they're like

this is the thing that irish people do because i guess there was um a thing where when they were they said that any irishman with his hands in his pockets was to be shot on the streets because they might be ira might have a weapon in their pocket or a detonator in their pocket and so they and so like i guess they showed someone else some other oh it's an irish football player meeting the queen. Hands in his fucking pockets. And I guess that's a way of, like, showing disrespect while still conforming to the formality of having to meet royalty. Yeah, I know there's no love lost there with the Irish and the Brits. Yeah, the place where I'm at in Birmingham and everything, that's, you can go to pubs here and there's a lot of IRA bombings.

Sometimes if you bring up Irish people to the wrong person, you'll hit a nerve because it's within a generation. They've experienced it and everything. So you'll just bring it up and they'll be like, don't get me started on fucking Irish people. We complain way more about the French and Americans. I think that's the two. The French are just...

Maybe it's because they don't speak English as much, but it seems like the French are always getting hated on. The French are assholes. You've never been to France. Have you been to France, Kyle? No, sir. Don't. Okay, in all fairness, apparently when you talk to French people, it's just Parisians.

That's where that awful person thing comes from. People in Paris, for some reason, are just the worst humans on Earth. They suck. They're not helpful. They talk to you like you're dirt, like a little rat trying to talk to them, covered in shit. They are awful people.

But the rest of the French people are great. Apparently. Apparently. You've only met the Parisians. That's interesting. I've become racist only met the Parisians. I'm wondering. I've become racist against the French, apparently. That's part of your national identity, though. You guys don't get along.

The president of France is going hard in the paint on this Ukraine thing. He's talking about sending troops. French troops, that'll solve this. I mean, they won a lot of battles. They probably have a lot of battles in the SS. They take so many L's for like military stereotypes. And it's like they won for like a thousand years. Like they got quite a storied history.

They're like the Montreal Canadiens. They haven't won anything big in a long time, but they've got a storied franchise. And so they can be like, oh yeah? How about the Battle of 1052, bitch it's like i'm american that's not a real year i i there is a theory that charlamagne didn't exist and that whole thousand years was made up and just tacked on to make the calendars fit better came up with that who came up with the theory or who came up with the falsehood?

Oh, crazy people on the internet. Oh, okay. Oh, President Obama. He's the one out there. I've stumbled upon something disturbing. The Blackbird certificate was a little weird. Charlemagne. Oh!

He wasn't born anywhere. Didn't exist. No, Charlemagne's from school. Before we jump to the next thing, I got to do a couple of advertisements real quick. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. This episode is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com.

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no swords or what would you put on a coat of arms if you were trying to look hardcore because you can't make a joke one and because nobody's going to want to fight for you your your fiefdom is going to be like i'm not fighting for the fucking cum guy i mean i think they're going to say number one let me say they're gonna say i respect how much he comes but if i'm trying to scare people if i'm trying to scare people i go with the the the bolton uh coat of arms the bolton flag the flayed man okay because when you showed up and like your flag is one of your enemies skint alive it's's like, bro, that's your main thing? Ours is a quilt that our grandmothers all got together in.

You see, it's a meadow. This is our most beautiful meadow in our land. All the grandmothers stitched a skinned man. Yeah, that would be an intense one. That's almost a little too try-hardy. So you need to find a little middle ground between the flayed man. You know what? You might like mine because I like fire. Something fire could be maybe just literally a campfire type thing.

But everybody knows we burn our enemies. Oh, a fire. It's the flayed man except he's on fire. Well, there wouldn't be a guy in it that's implied, right? We have a reputation. Our flag is merely the fire. But everybody knows we use fire to fight fire to punish fire we're fire people fire people okay yeah you couldn't do

like modern stuff like you couldn't have like a picture of a guy being lethal injected tase that's not scary not tased yeah tase might be kind of cool tase the guys all shot outlines around him yeah no i think the fire thing's good but you'd have to drag into that to kind of cool Taze the guy's all good No I think the fire thing's good But you'd have to drag into that To kind of play into the times Okay okay You've been watching my police videos I've seen some wild police videos this week

This guy It starts off so small So pedestrian Is it always American? Yes I don't care about other countries Don't know how to handle their criminals well we got that locked down here brazil's pretty good our incarceration rate is el salvador's okay their cops videos would be just murders i think singapore

el salvador just locked everybody up they don't get any murder anymore these got this guy had like beaten his girlfriend, I think, and he gets set up in a high-speed chase with the cops, but it doesn't last very long because they immediately pop one of his tires and his car crashes. He jumps out, and this is all from the cop's vehicle camera.

He jumps out and tries to carjack somebody like in Grand Theft Auto, like pulling at their door handle, and they take off. Well, he theft auto like pulling at their door handle and they take off well he's got one hand on their door handle and the uh in his right hand on the crack in their cracked um side window and they're going like 40 down the interstate with the cops in pursuit he's on the side of the vehicle he's like he's like doing a curl like pulling his legs up so they're not being drugged and the car is swerving and he's still hanging on they finally stop and the guy lets go and goes around to the passenger side and

continues to try to carjack him and the cop goes pop pop and shoots him fucking twice at point blank range and drops him and then at the same time the other cop car comes from behind and like bumps the guy as he's falling to the ground. And they've got him right there. And he's incensed that he's been shot. He's like, why'd you shoot me? He's like, you broke my arm. After a two-mile chase of trying to harm people, he's shocked. I saw one where the cop ends up in the vehicle with the bad guy,

completely different situation. And he's behind the driver, and they're both in the driver's seat wrestling and the guy has taken off and the cop is going, stop the car, stop the car, stop the car, and he's like starts tasing the guy, and the guy's going, ahhhh, but he's still driving the fucking car. The cop drops the taser, now he's got a pistol, he's going, I am going to shoot you if you do not stop this car. And he goes, bang! And the guy goes, ah! And the car immediately

in the back somewhere. It's like they're in a jujitsu match. They're spooning in a high-speed vehicle going down the road. And he puts two in the guy and the guy immediately stops the fucking car. That's what I always find interesting. Do you know if he died? never check i don't care usually if i'm being honest but these guys are such pieces of shit like they'd be like dude put the knife down and they'll sit 50 fucking times

spend 20 minutes doing it but they'll shoot him once now we don't need to negotiate anymore at all he's like oh they're in so much pain. They realize it's real now. I saw you were kidding. I don't understand people yelling at people who have guns. I'm so afraid of a guy with a gun. Like, don't you know that that's a gun? I saw one where this black lady approaches a vehicle. There's another black lady sitting in the vehicle and she's talking shit. Bitch, you ho ass bitch.

Oh, you got a gun? The lady in the car was like, yeah, I got a gun. What you gonna do with that gun? What you gonna do with that gun? What you gonna do with that gun? She goes, bang! And shoots her in the arm. And she's like, that shot me! And she's walking away

surprised. She's like live streaming this on Facebook, dude. She's holding the phone, recording herself doing all this, and now she's shot. And she's like, she shot me! Damn it, she shot me damn it she shot you just told her to shoot you i wish she replied with choose your last words like what are you gonna do with that gun what are you gonna do with that gun choose your last words you ain't gonna shoot me okay that's your choice yeah when a cop says i'm going to shoot you they fucking

mean that shit and and they usually shoot you a bunch of times i've noticed which is the scariest part if i thought that either the cop's gonna wing me once or i'm gonna get away that was sort of the scales we were playing with i might risk getting winged a little that's not what they do though they drop you and dump magazines into you i was watching one today they go get on the ground he gets on the ground on his belly then he pops back up immediately unzips his like jacket pulls out a gun so slow woody he pulls this gun out at the speed of molasses and how were his burpees did he look pretty good doing the burpees going down the burpee was clean the burpee was

clean like he popped up and was and was like zip and they're like what are you bang bang bang bang bang and they don't stop he's curled up in the fetal position and this dude is still shooting him in his ass you can see his pants like pop every time he gets shot in a butt cheek like damn dude you shot him six times in the ass while he was curled up trying to crawl away the acorn video is all you need to see about American police. I think it looks like Finster saw that one. I love the little roll he did. He screamed that thing was hit.

I'm hit! I'm hit! She's just, he full mag dumped into that car. She full mag dumped into that car. And there was... Fine. Every shot missed. Every single shot was off target. full mag dumped into that car and uh there was just fine fine yeah oh every shot every shot missed

every single shot was off target yeah our police are wild yeah there's there's the video that second um the second cop that's there that's like hearing like oh shit he's got a gun and you just see the other cop do like two consecutive like tactical roles

it's such a good clip he's dolphin diving out there on the asphalt the other cop do like two consecutive like tactical roles. That's such a good clip. He's dolphin diving out there on the asphalt crawling around when he said he was hit. The first time I watched that, I was like, oh my god. There's a sniper with a silencer shooting cops. This is evil.

Oh my god. And then I realized what was happening. If I'm a squirrel, I try to make that happen all the time. Just tossing acorns on cars. Like, how embarrassing is that? I hope that cop... The worst part is they always get another job

somewhere else, like doing cop shit. They're like, oh, now he's a sheriff's deputy in a small town why does he have a gun why does he why are we giving that guy a gun at what anymore at all like like he slung so much lead across all of tarnation just bullets whizzing and if you could see the tracers you'd see bullets whizzing past houses over over trees, into towns nearby, just zipping across traffic. There has to be a role that never has emergencies, like working at the DMV

or something. That's where he belongs. Behind an actual desk. He comes to work, takes his gun off, sits it there, and then he just... How'd you still give him a gun in this situation? I feel like they will, though. This guy should take whatever he's crocheting, set aside and just start processing driver's licenses you ever see

the other guys with uh will ferrell they take his gun away and give him a wooden gun he comes back and he's sanded it and made it nicer and pop and like uh stained it do you stain this little mahogany but he's got a wooden fucking gun in his holsters because he can't be trusted one that's how barney was um andy griffith show back in the day barney fife yeah andy andy of course never carried a gun at all but barney would but he kept the bullet in his shirt pocket he had one bullet in his shirt pocket and when it came time to like deal with a real bad outlaw in mayberry, he'd pull the, he'd have his hand to be shaking so badly when he put that one bullet in the gun.

It was just a, it was a danger to everybody. I don't, I see those cops with all that crazy tactical gear. I, they were responding the other day. Tell us about first responders. Oh my God.

They were, they were responding to a man in his own home with a knife. Sounds like a chef to me. But we sent SEAL Team fucking six. I've played enough Tarkov to recognize the gear they've got on. Jesus, these guys must have max traders. They got helmets on.

They got fucking lasers everywhere. And they're all stacked up. And the guy too, I will say, was being an asshole. He's standing there, though, not doing anything, saying, fuck you, over and over. And they're shooting him with a 40-millimeter less lethal. Remember that thing Arnold Schwarzenegger had in Terminator 2? He'd break it down, put another round in it, the thumper from COD as well.

He's shooting him with a thumper over and over at, like, 15 feet away. What is he shooting would you describe it as a plastic pellet a beanbag big rubber impact round of some kind and you know 40 millimeters not quite the size of a tennis ball but it's getting there it's it's a big shot grenade launcher and and the guy's tired of getting hurt it is and the guy's tired of getting hurt so he takes an end table like a hallway sort of longer than it is wide table, and sort of flips it up on its side as a shield. Homeboy with the MP5 just murders him at that point. Like, that's it. He's like, oh, you're going to deploy your shield?

And just wastes him right there. He's got MP5 SD guy over here, just lets him have it. Do we know anything about why the police were there, what they were dealing with? Man with knife. That's knife that's the problem in his home i got a knife right now yeah mr has some i forgot we were using knife guy oh yeah that's right i got really scared you can i am a guide i'm doing my best i don't know you you haven't given me clear instructions i know i i give i give everyone else a pass. As soon as you say something, though, I like to act offended. There's like, what's it called? There's been people that they'll have their

homes raided because they have a knife in their home in England, and I heard about that because a law changed in 2021 about offensive weapons act or something like that that you're not allowed to. And I went, oh, shit. I'm going to throw a few away. I've been to a lot. I know. no i've been a lot i know none of the none of the really cool ones because some of the cheap ones were a bit like i don't know they could

have a problem with that because there's like there's a really dumb law or at least how it's written in england is like you can't have zombie knives is the actual thing okay i don't know that this is it's basically like the but everyone in england was like uh trying to get like really big knives like machetes and stuff all this like serrated edge like stuff that looks tactical all that and uh they banned something like that and then everyone found a way around it by like if they're marketed as zombie killer knives then it's something that's not like imposing harm to other people so they got around with that, and now they had to make a law for that.

I don't know. UK has weird knife laws. America's tough because every state has its own knife laws. It's usually done at that level. And then it just makes it really hard to know. There isn't this common knowledge that people can share. Because they'll mail them to you regardless.

Yeah, I have had trouble before getting uh out the front knife mailed to me i think it's legal to own but not to buy which is weird yeah that makes sense because with that with that you're probably getting an expensive product from a like a company that doesn't want to get any trouble but if you were to buy like brass knuckles from a magazine or something where do you want it sent sir Where would you like your paperweight? Alaska? Hawaii? We don't care. There's lots of that. I remember my cousin always had a

flapjack or whatever. Oh, the thing. Yeah, yeah. It's like a wiggly with a weight in the... Can you show a flapjack, Zach? It's like a leather little handheld whomper that you... You see cops have them in old detective movies and stuff like

that. You can just knock the fucking shit out of somebody with something you can carry around in your pocket, basically. Maybe I ran with a weird crowd, but having some sort of club-type weapon in your car was kind of standard when I was in New Jersey. Yeah, I grew up with

an axe handle in my truck all the time. You know. Yeah, my friend carried a flapjack, which his was leather with like a lead weight in it. And you could see the stitching around the side like a belt. This one looks... Looks like something you'd buy from Etsy. That looks a little beyond our time as well.

But the one Woody described is is exactly it's even flat it reminded me of a belt that you double back on itself and uh but in the middle what i think there was even a spring that looks very close to what my friend had yeah yeah you fuck somebody up with that like a close range you just need to give him a little flick of your wrist and a little bit of arm movement and you've stunned the guy so badly, he'll do whatever you want after that. I acknowledge it doesn't look like much, but if you were to hit your own palm with it, you'd be like, oh my goodness, I'm so glad I didn't do that to my skull. It's as solid as it gets.

It's so fucking hard. Yeah, and police batons are like that too. The old wooden ones with the handle at the side. It's hard to describe hardness sometimes i've often said like when you fall on ice it can seem harder than concrete somehow like it's just really really hard and solid and uh the policeman's baton is that same thing like it's harder than you think it's wood but i don't know what they do to it but it's something different we're talking about beating people what kind of weapons we prefer it is hard have you ever had a beating weapon in your car like just because you thought it was a good idea oh like as a plan no i don't think so what about by the bed uh i have, but I feel like guns are the move.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Google says ice is harder than concrete. Oh. Wow. According to fucking Google. Yeah, I got a finely calibrated back of head. Yeah.

A guy gave me one of his, like, we had a plumber around who was this, like, wall veteran. He gave me a knife, which is a whole different thing. But he said, like, yo, I told him I was into knives, and he gave me one of his like we had a plumber around who was this like war veteran He gave me a knife which was a whole different thing But he said like y'all I told him I was into knives and he gave me this knife He was like and my dad was there too And he said like do you want something so I went out to his truck and he pulled out like It's basically like a cut off bit of hose that he'd dropped molten lead into the end of so be like this lead ball at The end of a wiggly little hose pipe thing. Yeah we collectively went, okay, you can't do that. You can't do that?

No, no, no. Anything, you can't. If you can think of it as a weapon, you're probably not allowed. He had to get rid of his fancy knives. Oh, that's absurd. They need a touch of freedom. You know what I would do? You're a well-to-do gal.

You could probably get some sort of historical collector's license or something, right? You could have real rapiers and broadswords and whatever you wanted. It seems like if you go that angle, that's what rich people usually do. Oh, it's a collection of antiques. That's not an arsenal

of weapons. That's my collection of antiques. There's laws for that. What's it called? There's a law in England that's something like, of weapons that's my collection of antiques there's the rules for that there's a what's it called there's a there's a law in england that's something like before if you buy a samurai sword that was made traditionally before 1957 you can do whatever you want you can just have that no those are probably the good ones anyway i imagine like you don't want some like one like some bullshit like made in kentucky weeaboo i think you do i i genuinely like like i've done no research into this but my understanding is that the reason they folded the that japanese steel so many times oh we folded a thousand times wow it must be so pure now yeah it is

is because they started with like shitty ore like they were trying to get the impurities out of their shitty ore but with like european iron ore impurities out of their shitty ore, but with European iron ore. It's not necessary to fold that many times. I read that anyway. But I don't want that katana anyway. Man, you look like a loser with that katana, dude. You know it's true. Like, white

men can't own katanas. You either get yourself a European sword or a Roman sword. You stick with your heritage. You don't sword or a Roman sword. You stick with your heritage. I think that's fair. You don't want some hoser sword. Yeah. Get yourself a Gladius.

Get yourself a Claymore. Something big. Maybe a Confederate-like sword. Like what they have. Yeah. They probably had a saber, maybe. Because you ride like a cavalryman's saber. Ooh, he's got sting.

Or you could get sting. Is that a Gladius? That's sting. That is Frodo's sword. Yeah. And Bil he's got sting. Is that a gladius? That's sting. That is protosaur. And Bilbo's before him. That's awesome. I love that you have that right there. I know. Sick. It glows blue when orcs are near.

Does it have anything glowy about it? No, sadly. I got the ring in that. That's pretty cool. That's sick. Don't stop there. It's cool. Keep playing World of the Rings shit. Get the ring in that. That's pretty cool. Don't stop there. It's cool. Keep playing Lord of the Rings shit. Get the Witch King helm. You know, I still haven't seen Lord of the Rings.

I don't know how many hours there is. I'm so sorry. Who buys Sting and hasn't seen Lord of the Rings? Someone sent it to me. Someone sent it to me. I was a big fan. I owe it to him, really.

Yeah, you gotta watch the movies. You'll enjoy it. The movies are actually good. You really need to watch the extended versions, too. Do you know who owned the sword before Bilbo in the first stage? Not a clue. Was it Glorfindel? Galindrum?

Ah. That was close. I think it was... It wasn't Gollum. Galindruman? was close. I think it was... It wasn't Gollum. Galindrum? No, Gollum never owned it. He did get stabbed with it, though. He hated it. He got stabbed a couple times.

Didn't like any of them. That's a piece of shit. Do you feel sorry for Gollum, having seen the thing? Do you see him as a tragic character? Yeah, of course. I don't. He was evil from the start i felt when he killed his friend over that ring from the beginning like he should have been more resistant to it so there's clearly a weakness or a shittiness in him that a lot that that that he gave over to to kill

his best buddy you know on his birthday it was his birthday but you know what i mean yeah um whereas like frodo what didn't kill sam mean, they had that confrontation later on, but that was after the wing, the ring had totally weakened Frodo. And he'd been through, he'd been stung by fucking Gothmog or whatever that fucking spiders called. What's the spider called? Shelob.

I always fucked that one up. I think we had that in a competition. Gothmog is the orc general on Pelennor fields. That goo coming out of his eye. Prior to the battle of Minas Tirith after he'd finished conquering Asgilioth. Idiot. Of course. I know who Gothmog is.

Damn it. I didn't know off the top of my head who owned Stingfurs. That's embarrassing. Damn. Yeah, I would be very... Well, maybe if you watch... Maybe watch a few YouTubers. Maybe consider reading the books, Taylor. Next time I read it, I would be very... Well, maybe if you watch the... It'd cringe for me. Maybe watch a few YouTubers. Maybe consider reading the books, Taylor. Next time I read it, I'm going to go through that giant, very classy tome that Kyle sent me.

Kyle sent me like a gilded edge, like very ornate version of Lord of the Rings that I have decoratively set out in my living room right now. Yeah. It's pretty. I think there was a fire day sale or something it's a good book but to get you pulled in start with the movies yeah they do an excellent job like it is such a good representation of uh of arwen you can do an arwen cosplay oh it's lived character is this could be really insulting if i don't know it's Liv Tyler this could be really insulting it's just an orc the reason he's picking her is because

there's about two women in the story and this is the prettier one yeah the other one has a gap in her teeth and like a perm so like you can't pull that off I think Finster looks more like this than the other

chick well damn yeah right Finster looks more like this than the other chick. Well, damn. Yeah, right? I could totally do that hair. Yeah, it's easy peasy. Get the ears, though. It's important for me. I can't finish without the ears. Yeah, but you got the movies first.

I had some... They're like little elf ears you can hook onto the end of your ears for cosplay. They're great. I just look like a little nerd with them, though, because my ears already stick out a good bit. So I look like... Have you ever seen that vine from back

in the day? Like when that guy, the fucking kid in the hoyu is like this. I bet you can hear really well, though. Oh, no. I've had headphones on for too many years and do loud. People yell at me and rust, calling me slurs. Are you a left-hand phone

only Master Race Alpha also? I went for earphones, yeah. They're good, but only because they don't fuck up my hair. No. Wait, earphones? Do you mean earpods? Headphones will compress my hair

and you take them off and it looks like shit earphones are a bit better for that okay but these are crappy these are like 10 bucks on amazon yeah you want those in-ear monitors like landmark has those bitches are 2200 dollars wait what yeah his ear buds are like a hearing aid looking thing maybe no they look almost identical to what you two have going on. That'd be all the money Finster earns between 8 and 10 a.m. one day. You can't ask for that kind of cash. They're wireless, I assume?

I think they are, yes. These were $7 on Amazon about two years ago. I bought five of them at the same time. It doesn't even go in your ear. It just goes like this. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, well, then I would do that.

I would prefer to do that. I can't wear anything that goes into my gentle virgin ear canal. I can't take it. Yeah, these are these ones. Every now and then, when I i fly i take these like like i wear something like this on the plane and uh because i i have forgotten them before and had to wear those the five dollar ones you buy on your buds is what i call them oh my god it feels like my ear holes been raped when i pull them out it's so painful i'm like rubbing my ear and it's just

so you have used them, right? It was a lie when you called them virgin ear holes. I don't know. They feel like virgin ear holes. Trust me. If you try my ear hole, you will not be disappointed, Woody. You will not be able to tell the difference. Lying about being a virgin.

You should try estrogen. It'd be pretty spacious. They really hurt I I wonder if the custom made ones that they like formed to fit the inside of you perfectly

would still hurt me that's I wouldn't buy those 2200 ones but there's like a cheaper version of what Landmark has that's you know several hundred 1500 or something

like yeah maybe there's less than that I think and Sony makes like a $100 one too or like a two hundred dollar one or something i watched the whole video and that like breaking down maybe the drivers in them or something like the technical specifications of what landmark has and he was sort of saying like you can get this other thing for like a tenth the price that's 95 as good ah okay but i'm still worried that thing's gonna rape my earhole

and i'm not gonna like it that's my experience with audio stuff that's somewhere around 200 to 400 you get something that's really good and then if you go from 400 to 4 000 it's five percent better yeah yeah that it's like that with a lot of things i think it's like that with a lot of gun shit uh my dad called me yesterday he was he was um he's got an upper an ar-15 upper and he's like i'm i don't have a lower for this and i'm like yeah the popo may have taken that one away like all right i'm gonna go buy an ar-15 lower what do you recommend i'm like whatever's fucking cheapest that's still made of metal like what are you gonna do with it's not like you're gonna go to war or shoot like tactically or any of that shit you just want a gun that works what part of the gun is responsible for

its reliability in an ar-15 is that a is that a real question um well reliability can mean a lot of things i suppose if it were direct impingement versus piston driven um you can have some give and take but that's more the mechanism difference in the gun one of those is usually more reliable than the other uh the parts kit and the lower i suppose like like but man reliability like what are we even talking about like like if we shoot it without cleaning it when when it will stop or like if we shoot 10 000 rounds through all three of these rifles which ones and has failed the most at the end of it. I don't even know. They all kind of work. I had lowers when I made machine guns. You're taking a lower and you're converting it to full auto.

And you do that by dropping a little part. You drill an extra hole in it before you drop that other part in there. And all of that is very, very cheap. Like the parts, like $40, I bought it at Knob Creek off a bench. They're legal to buy, or at least they were then. So I didn't want to ruin an expensive lower, so I used these plastic lowers, polymer. Like the whole bottom of the gun is just plastic. And that meant you didn't even need to use real tools.

So I took a DeWalt power drill and drilled the hole for the extra pin that goes through it. That was the machine. If you ever see me shooting an M4 in a video, like a fully automatic M16 of some kind, it's that plastic $125, $150 lower fueling through the cheapest ammo I can throw into it. And they never failed. They never failed. I've had a couple of guns that were unreliable for their first few hundred rounds. At this point, I think I'd pay a premium

to know that it'd be reliable out of the gate. One of the things I've noticed with pistols that can be true, especially tactical shorty compact pistols, those springs need to be broken in because they sort of fine-tune how much spring that you need to have the slide come all the way back, but not too hard. You don't want it bottoming out and slamming back. But need to have the slide come all the way back, but not too hard. You don't want it bottoming out and slamming back,

but you also want it to come all the way back. So it cycles the next round, grabs that next round, even in scenarios where maybe it's a little underpowered or your pussy grip in the gun, not holding it quite well enough. So you need to break that spring in sometimes before it, but it'll short cycle some, you'll get, you'll get misfeeds. I think that's exactly what happened. Smith and Wesson mmp9 full size needed hundreds of rounds i also had a shotgun that just didn't operate smoothly until you didn't have to shoot it that much but you had to shuck a lot

rack a lot of rounds through it to get it yeah smoothly yeah and just you know knocking the high edges off things and getting some carbon build up on some parts a lot of people um or i always found that there were two schools of people and one of them didn't believe in using lubricant on AR-15s. They just felt that the carbon buildup was enough lubricant and you could just dry lube them forever. And they would be like, this is my AR-15. It's never had a drop of oil in it.

I've shot 8,000 rounds through it so far. Like no failures or no issues or whatever. I don't know what reliability even fucking means with guns. If you buy a piece... AR-15s are just well-made. It's a good design. There are guns that are designed poorly, and it doesn't matter how well you make them, they'll fail a lot. But I never had

any issues from ARs. They always just worked, worked, worked. Okay. Finster, I've been wondering, so Belle Delphine and her only fans had kind of a calculated escalation of like how racy it was which turned out to be like a really profitable path for her are you following in those footsteps with your gradual improved i i sped it up a little bit though just because I was bored.

I think they don't. So I spoke to... So Belle comes back on the internet every now and then and I spoke to her just before the reveal and just said like, hey, you know, she was just hyping me up saying like,

dude, you're going to do so good. You're going to get that bag. It's going to be great. It's adorable. And she was saying like you know she'd always given me the advice that starts saying like take it slow and everything because you do do a lot better and you'll always find with those girls that go like right to something like hardcore or something they just straight up do porn eventually they get like a year or two out of that but but I think everyone's plan on OnlyFans is to do it for like five years. And then you're not really,

you know, time for the next person. Yeah. If you can get like, if you can get five years out of it, you're doing pretty, you're doing pretty damn hot. Like,

um, cause you're the earning potential so much. If you do, if you get, if you start earning a lot, then you can go a bit faster just because you don't need to be doing it as long. You can also do pay-per-view stuff. I know that's what an awful lot of people do to make an extra thing.

You'll subscribe to a page, pay whatever fee it is, and then you'll also get even spicier videos in there or something like that. spicier videos in there or something like that but oh my god there's no i really wish that was like you know on youtube or something you can see the top youtubers of all time they're like subscribers you can't see that with only fans i really want to they tell you where you stack rank but you don't see who's who yeah because it only goes down to a certain number like you can it so it goes to like oh you're in the 0.01 of every creator on here, but there's nothing past that. So you can earn like $150,000 a month and you'll be in that sort of bracket or many millions a month and you'll still be in that same bracket. There's a lot of variation there.

It's kind of like YouTube with the top people and just sometimes an unfathomable amount of money, but also there's more normal stuff on the lower end is mr beast still getting views like he was i think he's i think i remember like every i know i'm not really his uh demo but every so often i'll pop over to his channel just to take a look and it's like every single one, it looks like it still is, every video over 100 million. And most of them not like 102,

like 150 plus. He's doing a game show on Amazon Prime or something, right? Didn't he do like a Squid Games thing? He did a Squid Games thing a while ago, but I think he's doing like Yeah, I think he's doing one. I think he's doing one partnered with someone.

I'll find out. What's he doing? Did they just hire him to do the game show, or is he running the game show? I wonder what's up. Is he just the spokesman? I think it's soon to come out. He tried to get Netflix on with something, because they just said, hey, look, these videos are getting 100 million views. That's more than anything you're getting on anything you're releasing.

Think of how hard this could go. And they say, you're a YouTuber. Gross. I don't like it. So they didn't hire him. That's interesting. That's a really bad move. Imbeciles. So this Mike Tyson fight they're about to do

is going to do crazy business. It's going to do crazy business. They should be doing similar things with somebody like Mr. Beast. They should be like, tune in. Mr. Beast is going to be live and he's going to be doing this and then make up a crazy thing. Him and President Biden are going to cure leprosy together.

They're going to cure leprosy tomorrow. Tune in for that. And they would. I wanted to Adam Sandler it, right? So Adam Sandler got this huge contract where he could make any movie he wanted and he just hires his friends. Sometimes he makes great ones. Sometimes wanted Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler got this huge contract. He could make any movie he wanted. He just hires his friends. Sometimes he makes great ones. Sometimes he makes shitty ones.

So I want Mr. Beast to be like, Alright, I got the bag. Now watch me count to 100,000 again. Just make the most low effort video ever. Adam Sandler's movies are pretty good, I think. The newest, he did that animated one that's got like really good ratings everybody was like this is a this is a classic animation film you've just

made this is going up on the wall and then this new thing he made is a space movie I saw it what did you think um it's a space movie that's not really about space what it's about is a guy who likes being an astronaut, but he has a family.

He has a wife and I think he has a kid too. And, uh, his family is falling apart due to the excessive amount of time he spends away from home. And, uh, um, it's about he and his wife sort of reconciling how this is, and he reprioritizes what's important to himself and things like that. It is a – it's kind of sad. Oh, I could tell it was going to be a tearjerker. The spider element, that's in his mind clearly,

but maybe they leave that up for interpretation or maybe that's. Yeah. It's not clear if that spider is real. So there's a spider that is very kind. Spider speaks perfect English and has some superpowers. And I think the spider helps out Adam Sandler at one point and vice versa. And it's huge. It's the size of a dog, like a dog.

Yeah. It might be bigger than Adam Sandler. I'm not, you know. But it's big. It's not a space movie in such that there's nobody shooting each other or whatever. It's the setting, but it's not the focus. This movie could have been about a sailor.

But I liked it. Jackie didn't like it. Take that for what you will. Okay. I've been thinking about watching it and i had just seen like maybe 10 seconds of of like the teasers teasers are such that i got everything you just said from 10 seconds of that teaser it's like whoa slow down if you watch a full 60 second trailer for a movie you get to see the part at the end where the hero

hugs his wife yeah yeah he's like yep got them all baby and they're like they're like playing they're like sailing off into the sunset i kind of like the basketball one so i don't know if you know about that but he's a basketball talent scout by the way adam sandler in real life fan of the game and i don't want to say he's a good he's a person who plays right like if you saw him shoot you'd be like oh but he's got plenty of time to practice, too. So anyway, he's into basketball, and he has a bunch of actual basketball stars and players and shit. I think his job is to find talent that other people aren't finding. So it's not NCAA.

It's like Europe and stuff. And also, he's not highly valued by his own organization. He needs a win. So to see him get kind of ostracized, believe in this talent and pull him through. I liked it. I liked it. It was a good show.

So Adam Sandler is making good shit, but he makes some bad stuff too. We, uh, we hear Finster have been watching a little television show called Shogun. Are you familiar with Shogun? Is that the animated one? No,

unfortunately it is not. It is a, uh, it's on Hulu and it's, uh, who knows how you get it over. There is that the animated one no unfortunately it is not it is a uh it's on hulu and it's uh who knows how you get it over there is right an animated show yeah i'm sure there is it would make sense it's kind of a generic japanese word i think that the um the movie or the the miniseries are watching is really good it's 1600s japan um oh i've seen the poster for this yeah that's it's very very good it's very good i loved the most recent episode of it they had this awkward like love triangle thing going like and i feel like the the boss is kind of playing with it they like he's like ah why don't you why

don't you go with him to the whorehouse and translate for him? That was so awkward. I still haven't seen Episode 5. Oh, well, why didn't you say that when I started talking? That's alright. I'll still watch it. It's on Disney+. Oh, yeah. I'm seeing it on Hulu.

Yeah, I bet you get different stuff in different places over there, though. Yeah. VPNs, you can just use whatever, Connie. Yeah, I bet you get different stuff in different places over there, though. Yeah. VPNs, you can just use whatever, Connie. That makes sense. Over here, we've got a whole controversy with our pornography. Are you aware of this, that certain states don't get pornography anymore? Wait, at all? Well, certain sites.

I think what it is is that Pornhub and their subsidiaries or ownership, which makes up a lot of the porn globally, have made their sites unavailable to certain states. They have these ID laws in those states. And basically the idea was to make sure kids aren't accessing porn. So you go to Pornhub and it's like, who are you? And you're like, I don't want to say. I'm here to jerk off.

Well, we need to know your full name and your address and show ID. Show me your ID. They're like, well, I would flash a person my ID, but I'm not going to send you a copy of it to the Pornhub. If the world out there knew

how much I was into Stepsisters, then that would be a problem, right? So i keep that tight i only watch no one porn i watch it anonymously what he even wears a mask in his own house uh yeah that's the thing like that you know i'm not usually like hyper about um uh uh anonymity and privacy is the word I was searching for. But for porn, dude, even a guy who's kind of cavalier about privacy doesn't want to share all that.

Yeah, I mostly just feel like if I'm going to a porn site, I don't want to sign in. We need to get this taken care of right now. This is like pulling a fire alarm and then asking for ID. Why do you even sign in if there's some benefit? You're going to memorize my preferences? I used to have an account. Someone gave us

here an account years back. A Pornhub premium account. You get all the 4K porn, which at the time was much rarer to be just streaming for free but uh i don't i don't have any of those credentials anymore i don't really keep up with passwords i don't know if i ever had it but uh but yeah so they want your they want like the way that you'd implement to satisfy this law is to sort of give them your driver's license to prove that you're old enough to watch porn but that's a lot of privacy invasion.

So the sites, rather than implement a mechanism like that, just said, your state is off limits. But it's a bunch of states, and not just little lame ones, like Texas is one, North Carolina is one, some of our more populated states. I wonder if OnlyFans is well, no, OnlyFans wouldn't matter

because you're making an account anyway. You've got to do ID an account anyway that makes sense that's good I mean wait they just need to advertise their own VPN oh you can't watch it in this state but download a patented Pornhub VPN Porn VPN or

maybe the only fans people really see a resurgence in those states a big boost I wonder if it's gone down sign in like i wonder if like pornhub traffic has generally gone down or it didn't change oh for sure yeah like you just go to another site you just go to texas is that america's third most populated state does that sound right california new york te, Texas Might be second Okay It's up there

Second or third Guess the population of Texas Do you have a guess? I'm still thinking But it's around 32 million I had 29 million in my head I was thinking around 30 but I don't know I'll go is kind of my number. I had $29 million in my head. I was thinking around $30 million,

but I don't know. I'll go... Jamie, can you look that up? $360 million people in the country or so, right? Wait, $330 million in the country. There's about $330 million, yeah. Then I'll say $33 million.

I'll say 10% of America's taxes. I was thinking $31 million, but I said $32 million. So I'm going to stick with $32 million. I thought $80 million. I'll say 10% of America's taxes. I was thinking 31, but I said 32, so I'm going to stick with 32. I thought 80. I'm embarrassed. It's like 30 point... Holy fuck, I was only up. You got a gamble right just now.

You're hot. Let's keep this going. I need more of this. Don't worry, we got 49 more states. Let's keep this going. I need more of this. Don't worry. We got 49 more states. What do you think the population of England is?

Just England. None of the rest of the United Kingdom. I bet it's less than I think. I think we should all guess before. 17.5 million. I'm going to go 15 million. What? I'm going to go 23 million.

Just England. Because the UK is probably like 35 or something. I remember France and Germany being Germany is like 80. And it's way, way more people. My theory is like, I think there's 60 million in like the UK. Yeah.

But the UK counts like only a part of Ireland, Wales and Scotland. And no one lives there unless they like have to. So I assume I'm going to say like 40, 45. What is that? 56.5 million. That's a lot more than I thought. Not even close. Delete the last two minutes, Zach. Alright, last one. Canada.

Canada. Oh, fuck. 11. Not million. 11. 41 million. I'm going to go 24 million. I'm going to go 30. What? You were at 11. You influenced me down. I'm going to go 24 million I'm going to go 30

what you were at 11 you influenced me down my 41 influenced him yeah I bet it's like 20 something million just the stripe above America Toronto is like almost as big as New York City I think and that's like what a third

of their population okay I'll say like 25 million okay none of you went high I'm just going to say 50 my price is right City, I think, and that's like what, a third of their population? Okay, I'll say like 25 million. None of you went high. I'm just going to say 50. My price is right. Canada? Show us Canada. 41-ish. I read it today.

You read it today? All right. All right, well then, asterisk. I'm okay with that asterisk. That's a cheatery. Yeah, there's those countries you assume have a lot more and the ones where you're shocked, where it's like the Philippines are like the fourth biggest country in the world by population, shit like that.

Oh, I wanted to ask you this, Woody, because you're the only person I know who's somewhat plugged in to like some kooky right-wing people because your Facebook groups that you do like paramotoring stuff. I know you're adjacent to maybe some far right wing kooks. You did have that bet for the election, which is one of the funniest things of all time. Woody, very quickly, Woody, after the election, post last presidential election, Woody placed a bet with a man that the president was not a president. Like Joe Biden's in the White House doing presidential shit and has been for like 100 days or something probably by this point. And Woody's like, I bet Joe Biden's the president.

And the guy's like, bet 400. And I'm like, I couldn't believe Woody wasn't like, Kyle, you want in on this action? I think I got all of it. I just wanted to be financially dominated by someone and had to come up with a way. He's a pay pig. He's a pay pig. That makes sense. Yes, I should have oinked at him or something.

Do guys ever pay you to call them pay pigs and make them oink and stuff? Dude, hot take. They are a lot of work, dude. There's been a few. I've had a couple whales or something. They'll pop in and send like 400 bucks to send like one message it's like hi i think you're cute and i go okay cool we've got that type of money and then they sort of explain what they're into and i go i gotta i gotta be dming you every day man like well wait he does he always pay 400 when he dms you or that's just to open the door no no it

was a one-time thing to get your attention i think like the the thing is with paypix part of the kink is like running out of money like being so dominated like this one person controls your entire thing and so a lot of if you're a multi-millionaire you're not into that really you'd never get there if your kink was running out of money oh exactly it's not like super rich people who do this not usually okay because you want to feel like a sense of loss yeah yeah you see you would make see that would make sense though like if it because it seems like it's like really successful or the stereotype is there's like rich successful like wall street millionaire likes to be dominated by like a little Asian lady. So because they're not getting that anywhere else in life, they're always so alpha in control.

They need like a break from that. So it would make sense that like millionaire guy who's got like, yeah, buy this, buy that. Yeah. Ten million there. Five million here would be like, yes, take my purse away, mommy. Dummy. That's oh, man. that's oh man i just assumed they were like arab princes who would just throw a million dollars around like it's nothing imagining like a union plumber doing that makes me sad if you you've seen like the videos right i i like it's there are funny kinks objectively that's like that's one that's i think more common than people think there's been a few uh like girls that i've seen that like have that as their whole thing and they're super into

it and it's the honestly usually smoking too yeah they're usually smoking a cigarette like yeah you got my money pay pig dude the women that do it are weirder than the guys that like it are they even into the kink or are they just like there's a lot of money this is my kink is making money there's oh i don't want to say who but like there's a there's a girl that has a bot for it so she has a side account she's very very popular but she has a side account and it's ran by like other people i thought it was genius if it's such a grift oh my god is she a redhead i don't i don't i don't know who you're damn of course there's there might be a few people that do it there's like this one person i'm thinking of i think they do cosplay so i don't know what the color is but yeah they have like their main account

which is normal porn or whatever only fan stuff and then one that's most definitely ran by a management team because they reached out to me and said hey do you want to do you want to contact in our management team to like respond to people so you don't have to no but let me saw her account and i was like she must be breaking it in if you're hiring people for like nearly nothing to just milk you some pay pigs here's the third party company that i would i would have i would come go to you and i would say we have this this ai tech where i'm you're going to come in and 3d scan you and you will give approval but it will make the videos for people's private videos. And so in this way we can fulfill dozens of like,

like, like it, it, it'll basically be you, but we're going to, we're going to put your face on there and make it look right. And here's you in star Wars costume. Here's you in bugs,

bunny, like, like all the, all the kinks that all these different people wanted, but you only had to make one video. It'd be good if that existed, but AI videos are still dog shit. You can really tell ai

and they're going to regulate the ai real quick because people keep making rich and famous and influential people suck dick on camera and uh and where where are these terrible sites i need to avoid and when you do that wheels you notice the wheels of legislatures all of a sudden get greased the fuck up when somebody makes like the president suck a dick or like some famous pretty lady suck a dick or something like taylor swift blow some fans in a football stadium yeah that was a big one that very clearly fake though the tech isn't there yet the deep fake stuff is the stuff that gets that it's less so ai it's always like i got i got deep faked into porn once there was um and it was weirdly by someone i not by someone it was onto someone i

know so like they they tweeted out like they tweeted out saying like i didn't think i'd have to say this but please don't put finster's face on my porn it's uncomfortable just getting shared around like is this real and anyone that had like a couple brain cells like no so did they put your face on someone with a vagina no damn i can't remember where we were i was like yeah i've been i've been looking for that one and i don't know i've been digging deep and nobody... You're right, the tech is not there. You said it now.

That's one of those things where Star Trek is always picking things from the future that are going to happen. So in Star Trek Deep Space Nine, on the space station, Quark the Ferengi runs hollow suites. And you can go for a price, pay him, and you can go do whatever you want. Now it's usually shown off to be where you go to go kayaking or climb a mountain you know stuff like that but it's a jizz factory it's a it's it's it's a jizz factory you would just go

kayaking and this one client comes to quark and he's like i want a very special video and i'm like god damn are we doing cp on star trek and he's like he's like major kira i don't want to and she's like the the head of like bajoran local military officer like miss she's really cute but but like she's very buttoned up and professional so quark has a hollow scanner that he's sneaking around like taking scans of her to put her in this guy's porno and that was like 1994 or something when they had that idea of like being able to just scan someone and then make them into a porno and do whatever you want them to do they they pull a switcheroo at the end and they put cork's disgusting head on the sexy body and so the guy gets furious

it's great. Maybe I'll watch Star Trek. Maybe I'll start the entire epic of Star Trek to see that episode. I would watch it with you and create a YouTube channel where we do nothing but watch Star Trek together and upload our audio so people could simulcast episodes of Star Trek with us and I don't care

if it gets 300 views. Do you remember the idea I had that we do a podcast about movies and we do a weekly movie and I never watch? I was Terminator. I'm like, I didn't get around to it, brother. I just undercut every bit of the plot. You're like, no, I'm in this part.

And I'm like, yeah, it sounds fucking gay, dude. It's a book club where you don't read the fucking books and I just getcut every bit of the plot. You're like, no, I'm in this part. I'm like, yeah, it sounds fucking gay, dude. It's a book club where you don't read the fucking books and I just get sad and mad. I wasn't seeing that. That would be funny. That would be pretty great. Once again, Taylor didn't watch the movie, so let me tell you guys about

To Kill a Mockingbird. This guy, pretty sick dude. He's got Boo Radley. Boo Radley seems like a troublemaker. He's a good guy. That could be fine. Did you say you had something, Woody? I did. I found this topic during the week and I didn't

even know Finster would be the guest. But here we are. In this scenario, you are a guy and you're going to serve a prison term. But they give you a choice, guy, you can serve two years in the male prison or five years in the female prison.

What do you pick? It's gotta be five years in the female prison, surely, right? No. Fuck no. Really? Fuck no. I've been to male prison. It sucks, but not as bad as three extra years locked down somewhere with a bunch of dykes. There's going to be one of them

I can't take. There's going to be one big bitch and she's going to have a shank and three big old girlfriends and I'm not going to be able to do shit. You know your hypothetical You know your hypothetical you pitched with taylor earlier of like everyone in society is this big hulking man and you're the least masculine that is what female like that is

what male prism would be like for me you know how insane it is when i got on hrt thinking like oh cool you know i'm still like i'm i there's some things i'm not as strong with or what maybe it's just dexterity something changed like and then like a guy friend of mine moved me and i went oh fuck like this is okay i'm i'm uh fragile now i'd be terrified i don't think i'd make it it's funny i i think i might choose guy prison for the same reason you might choose girl prison and it's that being the center of attention like that is a problem in prison even if you are bigger and stronger than most right as i would be in a female prison it's not like it's gonna be some non-stop orgy with hotties or something it i don't know i am i going to be some important cog in someone else's machine

where i'm the muscle for this female gang i don don't know. I just feel like I'm going to it'd be easier to keep my head down for two years than to be the center of attention for five. I think female prison would be scarier for Fenster because I think all of a sudden there'd be the prettiest girl in there would be mad

and she'd fuck Fenster's face up or something. She'd do that thing where you microwave grape jelly till it's like lava and then you just throw it in their fucking face and she's like, not so pretty now, you bitch! Oh yeah, that thing we all know about. Do that shit to you.

I think, but if you went to a man prison, I think some like, somebody would look out for you, you know what I mean? Like somebody would scoop you up. Oh yeah. Yeah, I'd approach the biggest, toughest dude in the prison and let me you'll be somebody's arm candy i don't think you'd do the approaching i think how easy is it to get that arrangement kyle? Oh, man. Well, you've got to apply. You know, there's an application.

It's kind of like at the deli where you take a number. You know, there's an internship at first. Did you observe that arrangement in minimum security? I was told of arrangements like that. They said that there was a trans person person there months back and they immediately had a boyfriend it was like yeah they was fucking everywhere man they was fucking in the bathrooms fucking jerking it out in the fields they like sort of told that story and then i think that in the cell next to me uh on either side either side, there's different people, but on one of the sides was a gay guy, very effeminately gay guy who was in for cocaine,

probably distribution. Cause he had a fucking ounce when they caught him and he was like super gay, but I, I didn't, I didn't seem like he had a boyfriend or anything going on. So I don't know. I didn't see anything happening. Someone had suggested to me that maybe snow was grooming me to be for, for, for her position like that. And that's possible. Um, but, but no, I, I didn't see anything happening. Someone had suggested to me that maybe snow was grooming me to be for,

for, for a position like that. And that's possible. But, but no, I, I didn't, I didn't see anything like that.

It was just that that one guy was like, yo, somebody wants to get with you. When I was just like, Oh, that was the worst thing ever. That was so, maybe thinking back to that,

like that really was like the, it was either that day or the day before where I had just started feeling comfortable in that place. I was like, man, I got it down. I got my budget. Because I got sweatpants and sweatshirts and stuff, comfortable cotton, soft stuff to wear. Because everything else is abrasive and rough and itchy, like you're wearing a burlap sack. Suddenly, I got my book that Chiz sent me, the one I wanted to read. I got my Diet Pepsi on ice, got my sweats

on, chilling in bed. 60 days? No big deal. It's like, yo, somebody wants to get with you. That ruined it. They're just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, covers up, eyes open all night. You mean like, join my book

club? Are they a pothead too? No, they in here for like real shit, dude. They in here for molesting a guy who kind of looks like you. I just see an opportunity there. They want to get with you. Which one is it? Is he cute?

Are they tough? Can they defend me? Yeah, what can they pay me me i don't think you will go down that road that's that's a you know that's not going to end well well that's what you you've posed the question of male or female prison and now i feel like you've turned my opinion around of like yeah it might be safer if i can like make some connections that might be what kind of prison it is too there's like so many different like We watched that show 60 Days In. I don't know if you've seen that, but it's jail. It's a jail,

and the difference is that prison is meant for long-term stays, a few years at a time, and jail is usually meant for these short-term stays, maybe weeks or a couple months or something like that, and jail is horrific

because it's made for that short... It's not made for long-term comfort it's a scary fucking place people haven't hit that like comfortable long-term stride yet they're still chaotic they just got there you've got super dangerous people with you know really kind of mild people that mix is bad yep you can be in there for matchmaking in jail. They kind of do. They'll separate people out. There was different pods. I was in jail for two or three days. I can't remember which. I slept the whole time, so I really don't remember well. Did they give you

credit for those days? Maybe they always do. Actually, they do. I probably should have argued that in court i probably could have made up a number too they don't check it's like it's just like a call it's like a fake diploma like i don't think they're gonna check dude like i was talking maybe it was i don't want to call out who it was but um our our poker player friend maybe i was like man just use a fake diploma nobody's gonna check to check. Do you remember his scam?

No names, but let's just say I know someone whose dad has a degree. They have the same name as their dad. The exact same name as their dad. Did they both graduate college in 1964? God damn right they did. That's a 78 huh

you look great you really take care of yourself it's fucking wild I can't remember what I was going to say earlier before I was it about prison and the male female thing was it about snow grooming it's gone now but um yeah I don't

I don't know the idea of doing the extra time I thought you were going to ask the question, would you rather do like one year in solitary or three years in gen pop? And I would take the solitary. I would take it on an even shorter ratio. I often thought as a kid, maybe you think about going to prison

or you watch a scary prison movie and you imagine what it would be like. And sometimes they'll get sent to solitary and it's like, oh no, they put him in solitary he's gonna lose it in there and i always thought no that's where i want to go i i don't i'm not here to socialize i get that like you need some socializing but like i don't think i think i'll trade safety and the lack of terror or at least the lack of potential terror or boredom and solidarity and are there books in solitary you would think that i know in the shoe there is and that's the

punishment wing that's when they put you in solitary for punishment where they don't even let you flush your own toilet and they bring they'll deliver you books in there so i gotta imagine solitary gets gets how does the toilet get flushed? You ask the man to flush it, and he pushes a button on the outside of the cell. Once he makes sure you're not flushing anything, you shouldn't flush. Oh, that's a terrible job for him. Maybe he doesn't flush it.

Maybe you've been annoying. Sit in there with that shit. Ugh. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you have books... Man, solitary would suck, but if it's one verse three years and i i know while i'm in solitary that i'm avoiding two years of prison by getting through it and i have like books like

that would be enough to drive where it's like it's not just a year in solitary it's like i'm saving two years of my life by by doing i would mark three marks every day to like hammer that home like i would be going to to whatever 1074 or whatever three years is but i would be making three marks a day just to just to hammer home that we're paying for this this is worth it possible to adjust your sleep schedule to get it up to like 12 hours like i feel like what a train i'm there i mean if there's there's nothing to do in there like you're gonna naturally i think just start sleeping like 12 hours a day right you'll nap Oh, I'm there! I mean, if there's nothing to do in there, you're going to naturally, I think, just start sleeping 12 hours a day, right?

You'll nap, and then you'll be up until 2, and your schedule gets fucked up, and it's problematic. What's schedule? You just got to be in a place. The meals are coming at the same time. Can you even see sunlight? It'll vary. Sometimes you won't.

It depends what kind of solitary you're in. I guess we didn't really define it too well. But your meals are coming at the same time every day. The annoying thing to me was the lights fucking turned on on a timer. So you'd be dead asleep. Those fucking fluorescent lights were just in your eye.

Oh my god. Last week we were talking about the Russian terrorists and I felt bad seeing they'd been tortured. And we talked about how there's no death penalty in Russia. I saw what a Russian prison looks like today. I watched some YouTube video. It was awful. They're not allowed to sit or stand or lay down during the day.

They have to be up moving around. When they move them from cell to cell, they handcuff them and lurch them all the way over blindfolded so they never see anything in the prison beside their 5x5 cell. They're always blindfolded when they leave their cell to be moved anywhere. Everyone is essentially on suicide watch

because so many of them are trying to kill themselves. Other countries have so many of them are trying to kill themselves. It's yeah. Other countries have so many fewer inmates. How do they manage that? Are they not prosecuting? Do they have that much less crime? Are they not catching? I would think they have less crime overall.

Right. I don't know. Interesting to see exactly what percentage less crime. Yeah. You're going to tell me that nobody's shoplifting in russia like i these are poor people there must be a lot of shoplifting in russia maybe that's just maybe it's difference between like drug convictions or violent crime like what sends you to jail or what sends you to prison versus what just gives you a fine or something or like homoer that makes sense too yeah just that the sentence is much shorter or they give more warnings

isn't there something you know you know i don't i don't know what i'm supposed to do in this scenario once again everyone knows the joke but me wow um oh man you got another topic Fuck. Once again, everyone knows the joke but me. Oh man, you got another topic? I got a weird one for you. So how's showing your penis online? Fuck! I got a weird one for you.

I got doxxed recently by a newspaper. Really? Yeah, you know the Times? I just published my whole name, my full name, which wasn't available outside a government directory. Oh, that's shitty. I didn't realize they can do that.

Do you have recourse on it? Hey, you doxed? Oh, there's nothing. I'm not going up against the Times for fucking... I'm not going up against their lawyers. What's the Times? To me, that's the new york times is there another times i think it's like a group like uh i think the new york times is a subsidiary or something like that like a big media conglomerate just yeah okay but yeah

no like times uk yeah nothing ever happened for it like the so my name was uh found on like government database before like on like kiwi farms or fortune or some other and they never managed to do anything with it. And then so when the Times article got put out, I just retweeted it and said, Lumafeo, this dude. They just tweeted it out. I wonder who would publish things like this.

I wonder what their names are. I wonder what the names of the children's names of the publishers of things like this are. I wonder if they have names and addresses. Where do they know? Where do the children live, Taylor? Where are the children? Probably with them. That's a good bet. Probably in the same house.

That sucks. How long ago was that? That was like two weeks ago. Has anything happened as a result of it? No. It's really like, it really wasn't a big deal, so I didn't bother making a big show of it or no, no, it's, it's, it's really like, it really wasn't a big deal. So I didn't, I didn't bother making like a big show of it or anything like that.

It's just funny. I didn't realize that like, that's a thing that can happen. Damn. Yeah. I guess I think in the U S they can't do that. Like you would have recourse, right?

I mean, why just look, I get, I get why someone would want to keep their name private, but I also don't know how you can tell someone that you're not allowed to say someone's name as well yeah that's true if they were if they were telling lies you know if they were like oh yeah you know if it's like that's liable but in all fairness the article that it was in was really funny because do you remember a while ago we must have talked about it on the podcast there was this dude i had this really big donator that would donate like hundreds of thousands or

something like that on like a twitch stream and um and um they wrote the article about like three different things one of them was yeah the article title was puberty blocker clinic accepted 20k donation from sugar daddy and that's there's three different things i'm not even really involved it's just they go on for like a couple paragraphs saying like all the shit that i do on stream and there's something about hearing what you do like right out like that and someone that like someone doesn't like you they're putting in the worst words possible. It can sound bad. Yeah. People tweet me accurately quoting me and I'm like, whoa.

I'm like, oh man, this is reprehensible. It's terrible in text form, doesn't it? Whoever said this should be banned from everything. Oh, it was me. Then it was really a joke. Lighthearted banter. This American sugar daddy is paying this British male Oh, it was me. Then it was really a joke. Lighthearted banter. Yes.

This American sugar daddy is paying this British male YouTuber to be his submissive girl or something like that. It was like really written quite bad. Maybe that guy wanted the article out there. Maybe that was part of his kink, being referred to as a sugar daddy in a national publication. Yeah, man. For a second, I thought you were the sugar daddy. And I'm like, this is deeper than I thought. I don't know what. That would have been cool.

But I don't think I've ever been referred to as anything daddy. This is hilarious when read out loud. Can I read it or would you rather me not? Oh, you can go for it. That is all true. It's just really bad. The donor, who goes by the pseudonym Tammusus, gave Finster, a YouTuber from Birmingham, with over half a million subscribers, thousands of pounds to undergo laser hair removal,

wear an outfit with the word daddy's princess written on it and sit on a child's chair while he disobeyed his command especially like the chair disobeying commands what you're missing is like a lot of it is a bit but that only goes so far really it's like you know it wasn't a bit to him. Oh, no, it sounds bad, but I was smiling when I did that. Probably it's a joke!

Nah, you're gay now. Oh, that's my favorite thing to do. That's my favorite thing to do with my girlfriend. I'll give her a little kiss and go, okay. Why'd you have to put it on screen, though? Yeah, put it back on screen.

Pen muses. It's a good screenshot from the article. Oh, that's from the article. He had heavy journalism about what this guy... Oh, this is from the article. That's a good look. There he is. He's a good look. That's a good look.

He's literally donating right there. Yeah. Be still, my heart. Oh, God. Is he still around? No, he went on a little event. So he was this really wealthy, this American guy. And so he just ended up... He messaged me one day. He was like,

okay, I'm bored. He bought a boat. He just started sailing around the world. And I went like, guy and so he just ended up he messaged me one day he's like okay i'm bored i'm gonna go he bought like a boat he just started sailing around the world and i went like oh okay cool have fun and now he lives on a boat and drifts just about have you ever had chargeback issues finster oh not really there's there's been like there's not ever with twitch there's been some like sponsors that have been weird that um that have been like put me into actual debt before so i'd like debt collectors come after me for a bit really yeah when i was like starting out on youtube and i didn't know what the fuck i was doing basically someone just wasn't happy with

like how the video turned out but they'd already paid me and like about a month later they just charged it back after i'd like paid for things so that i just like was like i don't know like a grand or so out and i was just like this was when i was like still like under 18 so i was like mom dad i fucked up on the internet i thought it was going well but i don't know i need money yeah damn that sucks you put some trousers on maybe we can talk i had sponsors put on my skirt get that money back buddy i had a sponsor get upset with me once and i'd still look back at that angry at the way that here's the deal they were like woody i forget the

numbers but i'll just make them up we'll give you maybe one grand if you just do this ad and two grand if you do it and get this, this, this, and that right. And those extra things were a little confusing in the contract. So verbally, we went over them and I'm like, what does this part mean? What exactly do I have to do? And I took notes and whatever. First time it comes out, they claim I didn't do the extra thing. so they just pay me half and i'm like okay let's remove all confusion over here so that the next time i check all your boxes correctly and they find something to fuss about like i checked every box i promise you they can we've gone over this two or three times now but they still don't like a thing so i'm like all right next time they can't find

anything in perfect now they really have to pay up the full amount and they're like woody why are you being like this i thought we were friends i'm like oh you fuck we're the opposite of friend we're becoming enemies all you want to do is pay me half like even though i'm getting this right and i never did get all the money maybe the last time i did but yeah i'm fucked over yeah it can be hard to deal with people and and some people are setting out to be scam you know just scam you anywhere oh to scam from the start that's my impression of these guys yeah it sounded like you know they they never wanted to pay two thousand dollars yes yeah the sponsors that have like the,

Oh, if your video gets this amount of views, we'll pay you even more. Those ones are always a bit scuffed too. Cause like they've done the maths. They, they know you're not going to hit that number or something like that. Unless the video just goes viral.

So those ones are, you, you take that deal because of the, like the, the kickback you might get, but now they're always a bit shitty. I don't like companies that do that you need to get into just the

fucking kick gambling bullshit that's going on now none of us are really gamblers no no one that takes the millions of dollars are either before because there's so much money attached to it I'll pretend to be a gambler I need to learn how the lines work

like first like alright minus 100 I'll pretend to be a gambler. I need to learn how the lines work first. Like, all right, minus 100. That means they're favored to win by 100 gambling increment points. Oh, my God. I've had this explained to me so many times. It's hard because I also have no interest in it, and so I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh, and it's just... It's like, okay, if you bet $100 and they're minus $30, you have to bet $130 to get $100 back, I think? So if they're minus $100, you have to bet $200, and then you'll get $300. Like, you're $200 back, I think. So if they're minus 100, you have to bet 200

and then you'll get 300. Like you're 200 back plus another 100. If they're minus 100, maybe. I don't know. On the website, it just makes all the math for you. It does. I would just pick the team I like.

You just bet 100 and it says, oh, you'll get back this much. And I use that if I'm going to gamble online. But I really can't because it's not fucking legal here, which is so stupid. Man, Georgia's lame. Do you have online gambling, Taylor? I bet you've got riverboats and shit. God knows what sort of depravity you can do there.

I've never tried to get into gambling. So maybe we do, maybe we don't. I don't know. Is there prostitution there of any kind? Like any wink, wink, nod? No, I don't think so. I mean, if you go to the east side you can find anything but then you also have to be on the east side i think it's legal in england

you can you can be a prostitute you can have prostitutes and stuff you just can't have a brothel i think it's the law yeah really but like independent contracting as a prostitute is legal yeah i think it's fine you can accept money for sex i think that's the thing is you can accept money for sex but you can't have it as like your job or something like you can't be an advertising. Yeah. Yeah. You can't be in like the local paper where it's like, you know, $5 off bread next page deal on blow jobs. You know, we've got an Arbor day special.

Get your wood right here. Yeah. Yeah. i always like the u.s is illegal most places no i always had australia had it you just add the cameraman and say it's porno is that a real thing or is that like a hollywood meme where it's like oh we're filming it so it's pornography and we plan to distribute it so this is not prostitution i don't know doesn't it i don't know how real prostitutes get caught anyway you have to be so you have to be on the street selling pussy to get caught in some sort of sting and i don't think anybody even does that everybody's wait a minute that doesn't seem true right you just put your ad on the internet a cop answers it and then do they do that oh i just made it up i don't know if they

do it i don't know if they do that i think they do it the opposite way i think cops will post ads um and then catch the guys but i don't know if that cops ever like hunt down like yeah i do want want want a titty fuck come over here and then like catch the girl and arrest her they shut down massage parlors because it's in the news all the time yeah that must be that that's weird that they target those i remember when um craft bob craft is that his name the owner of the patriots got caught in one of those oh is that what he got caught in was it a mess yeah he was a rubbing on video getting a rubbing tug and they and they where'd that video go they got rid of that real quick like like fucking kaiser soze it was gone all right somehow the guy who owns the patriots

made it happen i just imagine the rub and tug comes to you when you're what's his name robert craft that's exactly what everybody was making fun of everyone every like morning show and every like sports show that isn't owned owned by espn everybody was like what are you doing rob what are you doing you down there at the the at the chong wong jerking and jerk what what are you doing like he's he's worth billions of dollars and he's literally getting like a 40 hand job somewhere in like a skeezy joint like like how did that happen how does he not yeah he probably likes that thrill he's knowing he's doing something he should have that illegal he should have that sneaky business car that like like from uh la confidential that just that that says

fleur-de-lis whatever you desire and then you just call that number and get like a whatever you want get a hot lady to come to your place there's no the fact that he's a billionaire and he's at an illegal jerk off joint he's a man of the people the owner of the patriots yeah he is the opposite of that he he he is it bill burr that he hired he he has like a list comedians come to his like little parties at his house on island on the island and stuff like like he is the opposite of the man of the people the fact that he ended up in that joint you know it must have been a setup almost for that to even occur. Yeah. Or he's just careless because he did it a million times before

and was like, I'm untouchable. I don't want him old-timey Thailand handjobs. I have only one place to get that. In a dimly lit probably. Next to the laundromat on Exit 8. Yep. I drive past those places, and I know they're jerking people off in there, and it's crazy to me that people just...

How can you tell it's an unreputable establishment? Yeah, there's bars on the window and neon signs, and it says, like, May Lee's House of Pleasure or some shit. Oh, man, that's pretty ham-handed. Oh, no, no ham ham very smooth very smooth there was a place that got busted here that was in the same like uh strip mall as a chucky cheese well then it was deserted because those don't there's still chucky cheese open where you guys are this was a while ago i I've seen Chuck E. Cheese's

open. They don't seem busy. But man, that's such a blast from the past and sad. Do you remember how exciting it was when you were like 8? And it was like, dude... The first time I got a Rub N' Chug.

The first time I got jacked offared the first time i got the first time i got jacked off by one of the animatronic animals i was in the ball pit little did i know it was so exciting when it was like you'd hear from your mom it'd be like jared's birthday's this weekend it's at chucky cheese and you're like oh yes yes my weekend is set i'm gonna go i'm gonna start out playing a fun game that doesn't give tickets and then i'm gonna see one of my friends who has a lot of tickets i'm going to get jealous and i'm gonna waste the rest of my tokens trying to get tickets and then it won't be enough for anything good anyway and so then i'll just go eat pizza and go to the ball pit maybe watch one show of the animatronic animals doing the song, doing the dance.

Playing the ball pit. Playing the stinky kid smell ball pit and tubes. That'd be a good name for a gay bar. The ball pit. Yeah. Do you remember the tubes? Did you play in the tubes? Dude, I loved the tubes.

They had those little windows that you could peer through. Sometimes they had a wheel you could turn and propellers would turn on the outside of the tube you were in. You could crank that up. Maybe mirrors. When's the last time you were in the tubes or the spider web of elastic lines?

The 14th. Yeah. They closed those down during the pandemic and the only one I even drive past that appears to be open is Chick-fil-A. Always Chick-fil-A. They got the playpen open out there, the tubes, the kids playing in there. White kids.

Looks like a good time. White kids in the playpen. It is Chick-fil-A. I mean, you don't want to go in there and get roughed up out there. I'm just saying you won't get roughed up if you go. You get Cat Williams'd. I thought I could take a 13-year-old't seen uh i haven't seen a mcdonald's play place in many years and i remember that being a huge driving force for why i pushed to go to mcdonald's as a kid is like and i'd be bummed out when my mom'd be like we can go to mcdonald's we're getting the

drive-through and it's like that's the whole point the whole point are the tubes so i can as fast as possible and then go make a make one of those kid friends where it's like oh man we get along so good we're gonna be the best of but i gotta go i'll see you never you like tubes i like tubes i like tubes you like pokemon i love pokemon oh man me and you peas in a pod best buddies are you related to any of this fencer do your do your fast food restaurants there have ball pits or tubes for children to crawl around in not in my time you know that's a bygone i suppose there was a place called frankie and benny's and it's shut down i'm not sure if you have it over there and it's so goddamn good but they for some reason i'm not sure if it's a thing across all the uk

when they shut these restaurants down they never got replaced with anything so it's still that just empty hollow shell of a former kids restaurant with like the the logos down but like all the rest of it's like sun bleached and you can see the logos still it's real sad yeah you see those uh occasionally you'll see um pizza huts like that here where you'll drive past something that's been like five things since yeah it's like an h&r block but it's a pizza hut because they had it was the hut you know they have that distinctive roof yeah there's been i don't know who's in charge of it, but we need to throw in the stockades publicly, whoever's been in charge of redesigning fast food places since the mid-90s. Soulless. Soulless now. It looks like a modern brutalist architecture. Where's the fun? Where's the clown

on the bench? Where's the tubes? Where's the paper crown that you can get at Burger King if you throw a fit as an adult? Like, where are all these things that I enjoy so much? I'll give them to you if you didn't get the Happy Meal, but they will. You make a scene. Right at the beginning of pandemic, I drove by a Chuck E. Cheese, and I had just this brain blast of like, man, I love Chuck E. Cheese pizza. I remember it being so good as a child. And I like went in and sat at a booth and ordered a pizza to go, obviously. And it was like being an adult man sitting in Chuck E. Cheese, like you feel judged. And it's a kind of judgment that I'm glad exists because if i wasn't there for pizza

i would have been a ghoul like just just to sit there and like i just play the games i just imagine it was the chucky cheese for the pizza yeah i i got the whole pizza i took it home i ate it it wasn't as good as i remember i can imagine like a bald-headed kojak style cop just sliding in the booth across from you. Like, hey, buddy, how's it going? Which one of the little ones is yours? Oh, no? The pizza. I haven't decided yet.

Oh, we get lots of that. We get lots of young guys like you coming in for the pizza here, Chuck E. Cheese. It's a good slice. It's a good slice. Listen to your creepo. Listen to me. We don't like your kind. You're about as believable as that last Woodworth guy who said he was there for the massage.

No one's buying this. I just got jacked off and I'm trying to enjoy my meal. I haven't picked which one's mine yet. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Which ones are the slowest out of the ball pit? That kid's got no gumption. Easy to snatch up from the for the pedophiles they got to keep an eye on they probably oh i know what i was going to ask what i forgot um i was going to ask you about your right wing potentially crazy friends

who might think that the francis scott bridge was taken down by terror or conspiracy. I've only seen that from media people. As you know, Andrew Tate, Alex Jones, fucking Fox News is not necessarily doing conspiracy theories, but it's more like, ah, the bridge

was hit by a big ship. Immigration is outrageous in this country. They're like, what the fuck? Segway, segway. A lot of people taking shots at Biden over the ship hitting the bridge. But I haven't seen regular people. He wasn't driving it.

Now, that would be funny if he'd been driving the fucking boat that hit the bridge. And they had pictures of him. Crumbling America infrastructure. I don't want him driving a boat i mean i don't want whoever was driving it to drive it either i they said i saw a picture today it looked like a blonde lady meth head if i'm being honest if that was indeed the the person piloting that this is you nobody wants to admit how much meth and stimulants are in every layer of transportation of goods throughout the country. Whether it's

going across the sea or truckers bringing you your stuff, America runs on meth. It definitely helps. There's so much. Meth sounds like... Does meth mean Adderall? Adderall is a type of amphetamine, but methamphetamine is more intense.

Maybe amphetamine is what we should be saying America runs on? I think Taylor means methamphetamine. I mean, truckers themselves, a lot of them use meth or other uppers. It's not as prevalent now, I guess, because they're, they have really stringent rules on like, and because everything in the seventies or whatever, it was like, all right, you got to take this load all the way to fucking Milwaukee.

And it's like, all right, well, that's a 18 hour drive. I'm just going to drive 18 hours and then I'll be there. But now like every single truck has regulators and like gauges in it where like you can't do that or you'll get in huge trouble it's like oh this guy drove more than eight hours a day or nine whatever the limit might be so i know our limo driver was

telling stories about doing crazy long drives on coke like just like doing multiple lines off the hood of the of the limo and then driving from you know from atlanta to miami or something how long has it been up all day not long enough for a 14 hour drive but it gets you go it gets you started yeah i would think you'd sit on the coke and use it as a kicker at the end we're gonna need to slowly divvy that out on the, along the drive. I think I would, I don't, I wouldn't, I can do a 10 hour drive stock,

right? It's only the last eight that I need a little help. I'm so afraid of getting pulled over with drugs. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah. Oh, a 10 hour drive from the Midwest. I laugh at 10 hour drives.

I saw like, there was a meme going around on, on Twitter where it was like, you know the the british mind can't comprehend this like it was like a seven hour drive from like the tip of you know the uk down to the south like through like a route and it was like oh my god seven hours like if i have to go on a seven hour eight hour road trip me and my friends don't even look at air airline prices it's like that's so easy like we probably won't even switch drivers one person will just drive eight hours and the other what is the number at which you might consider a flight

or an overnight stay uh i'd start considering a flight at around 12. yeah like it's pretty similar it's like when you have been sitting so long that like, you're just, you're getting like bed sores on your ass from the uncomfortable contours of the car seat. And you're just, you got the Jimmy legs cause you want to get out and move. It depends if the car will be valuable at the destination or not.

If the, if the answer is yes, then I'm there with Taylor around 12. But if, if the car is going to be really valuable, I might even go further. I might do like when I've gotten up at 5 a.m. and just driven until 10 p.m. that night before and gotten somewhere. And now I have a fucking car. Now I don't have to get a rental car and I have to return.

Now I don't have to worry about if I've got this thing filled up with gas. I don't have to worry about hurting somebody. It's just nice to have to return. Now I don't have to worry about if I've got this thing filled up with gas. I don't have to worry about hurting somebody. It's just nice to have your shit. A lot of times I need equipment at the destination. The reason I'm here is to fly paraboaters with my friends or ride dirt bikes in Moab or whatever. We drive 37 hours because we need our dirt bikes when we get there. I drove St. Louis to Boise in two days and that is a 24 hour

drive and i was the only one driving and it was really not that hard it was just kind of boring pair of 12s yeah yeah yeah what's your like what's your minimum or what's your maximum time you can drive before it becomes like an it's an For me, it's like two hours. If I'm driving more than two hours, I'm staying overnight. Dude, I drive further than that to see my grandparents. No, I'm staying. I've got a hotel booked if it's an overnight

drive. I don't even stop to piss until after four hour drives. I can drive four hours without even noticing it. I don't even get uncomfortable in my seat until it's been five hours or something like that. I routinely ride

dirt bikes with my friend. That place is four and a half hours away. So four and a half hours there, ride dirt bikes, go home. Then what do you do? That's eight hours of your day being traveled. You get like an hour there. You get up early

and stay up late? Yeah, get up early and stay up late. No, I'll ride for... I can only ride for like four or five hours. Even the last of that hour, I'm kind of cooked. Woody and I drove up the entire eastern seaboard one fucking time. I remember it. I know you don't.

I'm being kind when i say we like like that drive right there's a good example like that was a long drive but it's like you're not gonna pull over and stop two hours short of your destination to get some some shut eye it was so late when we finally got to sleep yeah Yeah. I would pull over and get Shadai in the car. Woody and I get to our hotel, and they have given our room away. And we're mad because we've just driven, no joke, like 17 hours or something crazy. Straight. But it was one of those funny situations.

This guy is complaining that his soup was no good or his meal to his room is no good. And the manager is on the phone with him. He's like, you sit down here. You ate half of it. You ate half of it. It was no good. Why did you eat it? Why did you eat it if it was no good?

If it was cold, you must have. Oh, you were hungry. You must have been real hungry. No, no, no, no. You can get out of here then. How about that? How about you find a place to lay your head? All right then. And he hangs up the phone. He's like, how can I help you? Well, sir, it seems that you may have accidentally, through no fault of your own,

given our room to someone else. And now after our long journey from Georgia, we have nowhere to sleep uh silly us we're sorry it didn't work right did we have to go somewhere else he sent us he he felt bad and he got on the phone to like his sister hotel or some shit and like hooked us up there and uh and we went there and finally got to sleep i remember at one one point, I stole a Seinfeld line because he was like, I was like, we had a reservation. He says, well, we're giving that room

to someone else. I was like, are you aware of how reservations work? That room is supposed to be reserved for us. Easy, Woody. I think this guy's Iranian or something. I remember being short, bald bald but very stocky and and perhaps ethnic only perhaps though you couldn't be sure like you could put the hat on

and being a mom like whispering to somebody in the back room or something you never know there's a couple too many z's on that name tag for my life there was a there was a hawk in the middle. I was fucking scared. Time to wrap? Yeah. Where can everybody find your wonderful content? Woody and I on the same page. If you want to see my asshole,

it's on OnlyFans. Alright, thanks for inviting me on, guys. When are we going to get some toys up there? When are we gonna get some penetration? When are we gonna get some art? That's the escalation that I'm working up towards. Nice! Nice! You hear that folks? You heard it here first. We're escalating toward penetration. Don't forget that. Breaking news here on PGA, I'm so proud.

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