Painkiller Already - PKA 694: Eclipse Road Trip, Kyle Demands Reparations, Woody's Lemonade Destroys Everything

Episode Date: April 6, 2024

pka694 uh our guest was supposed to come but he's running late i don't know he's afk he's tuckered out it's okay we love him anyway hopefully he shows up this episode is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com lock and load and blue chew talk more about all of them later kyle yeah you had a bunch of stuff just just i want to talk about front of your mind you wanted to yeah that awful thing that happened in palestine but before i get to that i just wanted to like throw out there from pharaoh distro those double doinks are so fucking strong it's like some sort of diamond infused big ass fucking joint that they sell in like a double pack if i think that's the highest i've been from just smoking in memory uh it's when i smoked that double doink the other night before

i played some Helldivers. Give that one the two thumbs up for anybody who likes to get real ripped. FerroDistro has done such a terrible job of keeping me in stock that I literally paid for it. We'll make sure they send more. Not a big deal, though, because you used our code and got such a great fucking deal.

That'd be so funny if he didn't. Wait, we have a code? Damn it. Yeah, those double doings are strong as shit. So smoke sparingly. Yeah, so this week, quietly, Biden agreed, President Biden agreed to sell Israel a new package of arms. Or give them, it's hard to tell. It's murky waters with arms deals.

You know how it is. But it seemed like maybe fighter jets and bombs, just to put it plainly, fighter jets and bombs because they're running low. I don't know what's been going on. But the same day, there's like an aid group over there that's just there to feed people. And if you look at the biographies of the people who are in this aid group, man, they seem like great people.

You know what I mean? Like each of them seems they're not those not that Chinese astronaut good, but like close. They're accomplished. Well, meaning just just there to feed people. They have no they're not flying a flag. And they gave their position to the Israelis, and the Israelis pinpoint precision bombed them with three precision-guided munitions and killed seven of them. So what I'm hearing is Israel got intel that there were some military-aged men in Hamas-occupied territory, and they neutralized them.

What's the problem? They, on the roof of the... That's probably what they're saying. They sent a missile through the roof. Zach, show them the roof of the car. They sent a missile through the roof of the car. The roof even says, like, I don't know, feed the hungry or some shit like that.

It's got their emblem on it, which is like the Don't Bomb Us emblem on it, which is like the Don't Bomb Us emblem. Yeah, this is one of those situations. Was it a bullseye? Did they have a bullseye on the top of their car? Dude, if they were going for the driver, then cowabunga, dude. Like, goddamn. And you know.

Cowabunga, dude. I haven't heard that since like 90s. I'm bringing it back. Here it is. We're going to bring back all the bart simpson colloquialisms don't have a cow man okay yeah but you can see right there that it says feed the world kitchen or whatever yeah which is it did known hamas yeah i disagree taylor i can't read that yeah you can infer what was there. Pretty well. They got a pan with it.

And you know that that bomb said USA on the side, too. Yeah, we paid for that. Yeah, we did. We financed that right there. We paid for the food they were handing out and for the bomb that killed them. I don't know who pays for the food that they hand out. It's a tragedy. Look how happy that guy looks. He's doing okay.

No, that guy's bummed. They just killed the food truck. I really wish he was wearing a Braves World Series jersey or something. I feel foolish even asking. What's the fallout? What's the fallout of this going to be? Nothing at all. Biden will continue to give them everything they want.

Biden had a very strong word. He will give them whatever they want. Biden had a phone call with Netanyahu today. The results of that were, there was a press conference right before we started, so I didn't get to watch it. But I don't know. I don't know.

Probably not much. Netanyahu assured him that he would finish the job. We've targeted 15 other food trucks in the region. That is so fucked up. It is fucked up. I don't make jokes and play a comedic devil's advocate, but I'm not a fan of this. Taylor, freedom don't come free as they say

you should write that down jot that down huh you should got that i have a shirt says it you're sure this is freedom isn't free with a bombed out foreign aid truck no it says freedom don't come free and it's got george w on it i like that yeah using the president's grammar that yeah i i miss the poor grammar we all of of bush when when you see like trump ramble or biden get lost and confused it's like man bush was coherent at least he just he was just misspeaking he he knew what he wanted to say he just couldn't get it out these guys i i don't even know if they know what they want to say it's funny i'm not gonna argue against that yeah no like 10 years like the media and everyone was just like frothing with like george bush is a murderer he's a genocidal murderer and then like five years later it's like look at this goofy former president hugging michelle

have you seen his paintings i bet they fucking suck they're they're better they're in can we see some paintings wait no show us either one of his or one of hitler's and we have to make his guess i think he paints animals too he does portraits of people i've seen those um i i'm gonna give his art look in the grand scale of let's just say amateur art i would say he's a seven out of ten if we're if we're doing like all art if like michelangelo da vinci or tens then george bush is a solid fucking five like he knows what he's doing clearly i can't i'm so untalented like i can't doodle we'll see we'll see what it looks

like i think it'd be fun if my wife and i painted each other's portraits and just saw what came of it you just need like a caricature yeah i i'd be terrible i haven't picked up a paintbrush since i was a child but she might be half decent she just paint by numbers all the time i was never good at painting or drawing as a kid good at painting or drawing as a kid. Like, damn. Well, this is definitely not Hitler. Not Hitler.

I don't see it. Yeah. These are not good. Is the bottom left... Excuse me? They're not good? Do you know any of these people? I think that's Mark Zuckerberg's wife on the bottom right. Is the bottom center one Dirk Nizinski?

Dirk Nizinski. Oh, Zach said it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know his name, Dirk Winski. Is it Nowitzki? Say it better for me. Nowitzki. That makes sense if there's an Eastern European guy. Zach wrote it down. It might be Dirk Nowitzki, makes sense if there's an Eastern European guy

Zach wrote it down It might be Dirk Nowitzki However it's pronounced, spelled, or stated Everyone else, I have no clue I thought top left might be like Hillary Clinton's huskier sister Yeah

I thought she might, who was the female leader of Germany? Angela Merkel? Yes, that's who I of Germany? Angela Merkel? Yes, that's who I'm going for. I wish she looked like that. Angela Merkel is much fatter than that. But I mean, it is a painting. Who's the bottom left?

That guy coyly biting his tongue. That's Chris Rock? No. Chris Rock is not a chubby blonde woman. You're terrible at this, Zach. Are you still gonna are you still gonna hold that his paintings are good knowing that i don't think in the top is chris rock and i don't think that's chris rock i think i think zach's pulling i come to you in private and i say i want to show you my chris rock painting and i show that to you what do you say i say that's a

real funny joke they don't all look the same okay okay? I've told you once, told you twice. This is the last time. I might know the top right. Do you remember that really pretty Afghan woman on the cover of Time magazine? That's not National Geographic pretty Afghan woman. No. Is it Nachia? This is not her.

That's not what this is. No, that's a different. I do remember exactly. That lady has green eyes, though. Green and blue, like they were striking. Striking green eyes. Yeah, they're beautiful. These suck, dude. And you think, oh, what a waste of that beauty.

And it's like, what, were you going to fuck her? Leave her to a goat herding. Zach got the answer. That's not Chris Rock. It's Gilbert. Gottfried. Terrible painting. Arenas? I was going to ask you for help. Tuha Banyan? I just said a word.

I don't know who these people are. They're clearly not famous enough for me to give a fuck about. My point stands that these are good paintings. Infinitely better than anything that any of us would stick onto a canvas. Not if we really gave it the old college try for like a year or two yeah maybe if you trained for a year you could come close to what george bush can do yeah i think that proves my point do you

think he's been doing this for six months well he ran the world for like eight years i you know i i figured he took it up in the last he was he was painting you know these paintings aren't as good as those paintings that epstein had on his island of like bill clinton in a dress and uh bush knocking over the twin towers those were better done paintings oh come on man like that's all right all right fine this one's much better than any of the other ones that's all right because you know why because we know who he's trying to paint. I bet if we knew those other people, we'd be blown away too. I got Dirk right away.

You did. And that's the one. It doesn't help my point, but I also kind of figured out that he was that basketball player. Credits for honesty. Yeah. That's not how he brushes his hair, though.

That's a little inaccurate. I don't know about that. I was going to... The browner hair in the front and center, I just caught that. And he had Jay Leno's hair going to the wrong direction. Not a guy for detail, I see. Well, he probably was, like, mirroring it?

I don't know. It was the collection of Hitler portraits. Who did he paint? You're right. It's inexplicable. Hitler's done a lot of buildings and a lot of animals, from what I remember. I remember, like um not cathedrals but interesting art european architecture just a building in front of rivers yeah yeah i think he was more of a landscape guy what were you saying what the fuck is well bush painted this that That can't be Bush painted. Yeah. But this looks like a joke.

Of course it is. That would be a wildly inappropriate painting for him to paint. Albuquerque being tortured. Is that what that is? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they got theirs. I never had a problem with Albuquerque.

I feel like they needed a little torture. We were angry after 9-11. I was too young to be angry. They couldn't have been more innocent of anything. They. That's a blanket fucking everybody, huh? No, literally, yes.

None of them had anything to do with it at all. Yeah, none of them had anything to do with 9-11. And none of them had weapons of mass destruction at worst they're guilty of their defending their country when we invaded for no reason based on lies oh well that's not true at all i if if we're talking about because you're doing this big blanket they if we're talking about a grave i'm was that prison in was it iraq or afghanistan it was in one of those it was over there. There were plenty of Syrian

insurgents and all sorts of lifelong terrorists who we'd been looking forever who were coordinating, organizing, and I agree with you that maybe the average flip-flop wearing commando with an AK-47 wasn't some wealth of information we need to imprison for two decades.

But there were some others mixed in. Were there? Yes others, you know, mixed in. Were there? Yes. How do we know? Because the people doing it said... Well, it's declassified. It's not like these are top secret things.

You can watch documentaries about each and every one of them. You can watch interviews with the CIA operatives who helped take them down. You can hear about how they were tortured. It's all very open book. Oh, well, if the CIA says they investigated themselves and it came back, OK. I didn't say anything like that. I said you can watch a YouTube video with the CIA operative who was doing it.

And he'll be like, yeah, they tortured him. They did this to him. I caught him this way. They'll break down how they caught those people. Taylor, the CIA are the finest investigators on earth. The fact that you discredit their work is kind of embarrassing. It's kind of not patriotic. It's always funny when they bring a CIA agent on the news,

and they're like, we have a CIA agent here to say that this war right now is actually very good. And it's like, if you watched Russia Today, and they were like, former KGB agent here to confirm what we want them to, you'd be like, oh, that's laughable. But like CIA, you're like, yeah, that makes sense. We had to get those guys. We had to put them on buckets and electrocute their testicles to learn about terror. Like that's what we had to do.

Here's a – if you actually get all curious, it's this guy um that linked right to a video of a guy's ass um did it yes it went right to a picture of a guy's ass standing there on the in the prisoner rape section of the link they needed a little bit of raping every now and then okay like i don't know why you're defending the enemies of the united states maybe we need to look into your internet search history see if you're a sympathizer maybe even funneling money they'd be like oh this fucking retard wait does he do anything but look at build orders how do you mention it's a picture of a guy's butt without mentioning the other guy's face clearly pressed against his cock that was a big part of the image as well? Oh, I see the naked images now.

That's hilarious. Well, I don't know what your problem with this is. The torture part? Which part of it that is torturous? Who just defines what torture is? I'll tell you what, I've been in a couple cop cars. I'm anti-sex here. If you've ever been shackled and handcuffed...

I'm coming off as fucking liberal, and I don't like it. Yeah, Taylor, you look a little homophobic. Those two prisoners were getting down and... I'm counteracting the liberalism. The picture that Taylor takes so much issue with is a few of our country's enemies and they're being forced to sit in a very

embarrassing position. One on his knees with his head and the other's crotch. Oh, and they're all naked. Well, mostly naked. They have bags on their heads. Okay, they're not completely unclothed. Touche. They got their masks on.

You're pretty understanding with that Russian mass shooter the other week. You're like, oh, he did cut his ear off and it make me sad. Dude, they cut his ear off and they fed it to him okay we didn't cut people's ears off and feed them to them at abu grade you saw and that's the other thing all right here's the grade was cool it was clearly a wild sex party they're all wearing masks it's got eyes wide shut vibes this is it's dope i wish i was enough you

can't see nicole kidman but sheman, but she's right off the camera. Her being there would change my take. It was like, oh, damn, they got to meet with Nicole Kidman, too. They're all naked and masked up and performing sex acts. This is a good weekend. I mean, it looks like they're kind of doing what they did with those El Salvadorian gang members. I'm not into the dogs, but, I mean, if you are, that's cool. Dogs seem happy.

Those dogs eat your face off. I've been watching true crime shit, and I saw one today. This lady murdered her two children so that she'd have more time to fuck her dog. The fact that you're watching true crimes makes you a little bit woman. I was getting called gay immediately. I'm so glad we're on the same page no no straight man i know watches true crime that is totally chick what is true crime maybe i don't understand let me know i'm sure it's a lot of fun you put your robe on and you sashay into the kitchen to get

your popcorn and then you come back out and throw your feet under you like that i don't understand what makes true crime. So what I'm watching is a documentary about a lady who murdered her children. That's the gay part? Yeah. You didn't know this? True crime is like an almost entirely female genre. You don't like watching interrogation videos and police investigations?

Oh, an actual interrogation. Okay, you'll get me on this. The actual actual interrogation i went through a phase a couple years ago where i found a youtube channel that it was literally just like unedited two three hour videos or minimally edited what did you learn from watching the interrogations i want to hear if your take is the same as mine i learned that there is a huge gap between cops detectives rather who are really really good at this and ones that are really really bad at it because some of the guys are so natural and like comforting in their presence that even watching it you're like man maybe he is really sympathizing with this like this like they know he's a deviant like child molester or something and he does such a good job of being like

they got your burger and they got ketchup on you know what don't don't even bother eating someone else actually went out to grab lunch there right yeah a few minutes ago let me get that we'll get your right order they shift gears right away from from if to why you know i mean it's like it's not if you did it it's like look man when you talk about why you did this because if there was an accident or maybe like she fell or maybe you know you were defending yourself or something like that things just got out of hand that's a different story mike that's a different story entirely and it's important at this early part that you tell your story because somebody

else is going to run around they're going to tell all kind of things mike and right now what they're saying mike killed her mike killed her cold-blooded and i don't believe that about you mike i don't i look at you right now i don't believe that while you eat them french fries like that guy play like he'll get your confession because mike mike a flag tattoo that says loves to kill. He's like, Mike, I know they're lying about you, Mike. You're absolutely right. There's a huge difference. And the YouTube

channel that I've been watching, he'll pause and he'll be like, for some reason, the detectives decided to antagonize her at this point instead of building. Probably not a good idea, as you'll see in just a moment yeah i liked those little interjections taylor's right there is a wide um discrepancy in like how much talent the detectives have but my takeaway was a little different it was

shut up buddy because like i don't care how smart you are right you're both very smart guys but if you entered a guitar playing competition against someone who does this all the time you would get smashed yeah and while an interview is not quite as fish out of the water as my example you might not be well kyle might be but taylor and i are not prepared to deal with like detectives asking hard questions just quiet i mean i mean you know that's that's i would i talked to them a good bit like when i got arrested on the drug thing and until the point where like they asked a question that mattered you know what i mean like i'm not retarded you can't you were like

did you do it yeah oh no like that wasn't gonna happen like but if they start getting into like details and for anything specific to what's going on, it's like, I can't talk about all that. We're going to have to go to the lawyer situation because I don't know what my defense is going to be here, but it's not going to be good. But no, I love those. This lady, they had her Facebook messages.

She's messaging some dude, and she's sending dirty pictures of her fucking the dog and stuff. And she's like, yeah, I want to see you and me and you and the dog and get it on. But got to watch the fucking kids and watch those kids. She hung her kids in the basement. Oh, I mean, it seems like this was a pretty cut and dry case. I know. Cut and dry.

Let her off. 40 minute video. 40 minute video. I called it a stand. Rufus. It's a character witness. He rushes up to her and licks her. There's one guy holding

five pairs of soiled panties in medical gloves holding them in front of the door. This other guy was a YouTuber. This other guy was a YouTuber, at least the uploader. He's like, if you want to see me this is one of his youtube excerpts if you want to see me eat poop out of my diaper i want 1 million subscribers this is a giant fat man and he was he's like doing diaper fetish stuff uh online and um

that you can't lock that guy but he was poisoning his family uh he was giving them laxatives and epsom salt so they were all shitting themselves and i think he got off on it like in his family is like old elderly people and in the detective interviews this old man who's must be like 75 he's like we're just crapping our pants and we literally literally soiled myself and i don't i'm an old man but you know i can control my bowels and we did this salsa always tasted like castor oil he was putting it in their coffee makers so that it would you know mask the flavor of of of him poisoning them um i've been i watched a bunch of them today i watched one where these three black chicks burnt another one alive um with um all over a man and it's it was so crazy one of them's there's a there's a man and a and a wife okay and the wife has three or four friends

and it turns out unbeknownst to her, they're all fucking her husband. Her husband's fucking them all. But she finds out that one of them in particular has fucked him. She doesn't know about any others. So she gets her other friend, who's been fucking him, and her 16-year-old daughter, and they jump the other chick, tase her, torture her, beat her with a crowbar, take her to a field and set her on fire. And she runs through the woods on fire, makes it

to a neighbor's house, and like her last words before they put her under morphine are, it's Brittany, Nicole, and Andrea. And then they put her under the anesthesia and she dies. And it was they get the guy in the interrogation room and he's laid back

chilling he's on his phone with a different woman completely different woman this guy sounds attractive he goes yeah i'm copacetic i'm laid back ain't even worried about shit i'll be out yeah yeah yeah i see and the detective sitting across from him like tick tock like dude he's I'm laid back. Ain't even worried about shit. I'll be out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see. And the detective sitting across from him, like tick tock, like, dude, he's got his big,

like scary folder unfolded. He's got that trapper keeper, but like scary men on, he's got that bitch out. And he's like looking at him, like you bought down with your phone call. And he's just like, yeah,

hang on now. Let me get off the phone with you. They gonna make me hang. And I'm like, dude, I'm, I'm, I'm nervous for you. Hang up going to make me hang. And I'm like, dude, I'm nervous for you.

Hang up. Yeah, it's like, hang up, idiot. I'm so polite about that that I'm like, look, got to let you go. Detective just walked in. Like, that's how I would have handled it, right? Yeah, immediately. He's laid back. And the guy's like, so I heard you're having sexual relations with Brittany, Nicole, Andrew.

And was that your sugar baby? He's like, no, no, that's my kitten. He's got like stupid pet names from all or some shit. He's like, yeah, that's my that's old mama right there. He's like, well, who you got on the phone? He's like, oh, that's something else right there. That's something else. And the cops are like you said, they're playing along with.

He's like, how do you do that? You must be slick with it. Because like me and Dave here, we lose our boats, our houses, and our cars if we tried to pull that shit. And he's like, I'm just doing my thing. And it was like, oh my god. He was the only innocent one. He had nothing to do with burning that poor woman alive.

He was just fucking everybody in the whole trailer park. I don't know if innocent is the first word I'd pick. Innocent of murder. Very related. She's on death row in Florida right now. The one who did that stuff. Finish DeSantis.

I heard, isn't abortion going on the ballot in some manner down in Florida soon? It is. Florida has some of the tightest abortion laws and they're going to put it and see if... I think maybe the Florida Supreme Court just ruled in favor of it. The state constitution has a right to privacy

which is sometimes used as an abortion defense to make it legal and that didn't work. So now they're putting it on the ballot and Democrats feel like this might put Florida in play because even in a conservative state like Florida, abortion is unpopular. So while people might not come out to vote for Joe Biden, they're likely to come out and vote for abortion. And that's a hit on Trump.

But I think Trump just wins the state by less. Yeah, I agree with you there because I think nationally, like in just a flat poll, abortion is only ahead by like two points. It's like 52. You know, I think like 52% of people think abortion should even be legal at all. And it's not all men i thought it was way higher but i'm not sure i'll google it it could have changed i saw i saw a graph today it wasn't the graph wasn't about abortion it was about a different issue but i just took note of

abortion while i was looking at the graph so it's possible it's a bit outdated but i saw 52 yeah it's closer than you'd be led to believe. I think a lot of conservative women are just not down. Conservative women are not cool with it at all. This is Gallup, who I consider to be pretty good. Pro-choice is 52, like Kyle said, but pro-life is 44. It's not 48. So that's an eight-point gap. Well, surely there's some undecideds in there or some people who have

yeah you're different viewpoint on it uh no opinion was four percent i can't explain the other four yeah there's no opinion at all that's so weird to me how do you know i have opinion about shits about things that have nothing to do with me and never will i make a point wrong opinions that i can go on and pontificate about for hours i hold strong opinions and then afterward you fade back to complete indifference and on whatsapp taylor and i like to go back and forth about historical events and and tragedies and such and i sent him this this image image of white people throwing slaves overboard a slave ship. And I said, did you know that they would throw sick and dying slaves overboard to drown

because the insurance covered drowned slaves, but it did not cover slaves who were sick or died after they arrived for other illnesses? And Taylor takes about two seconds to say, you ever wonder why the slave auctions were closed on Saturdays? And I went, gotta go! It was a good line.

It was a good joke. I don't get it. Someone carry me through this. Type it, Taylor. Don't say it. We'll readdress that one on a later date. That's a fourth hour one yeah

ah yeah took me a minute I like those I like our little x-rated chats I don't think we said anything bad I learned that

fact and it was just like man because you know I did my genealogy the other day and I found out that I was.06% I learned that fact and it was just like, man. I did my genealogy the other day and I found out that I was 0.06% sub-Saharan African, my brothers. I want to learn more about the injustices that my people had suffered. I'm going to tell you right now, I'd never supported reparations until I read that report in my Gmailmail uh the other day and now full-throatedly just uh it would seem like you'd have to pay out like 99.4 percent and

receive the 0.6 that's an absurd viewpoint woody and i can only expect a white man to take such a viewpoint this idea of like of dilly dally of of divvying up someone's life you know oh what percentage of you is black what a percentage is white you're just so obsessed with race as a white you can't stop talking about it can't stop talking about it just obsessed with it and i don't care for it one bit no i i i uh i've also been looking at the swords. I did enough research that I found the good sword website. Would you please get a sword or two? Be a sword guy, man.

Kyle, I think you're taking too long to buy a sword as if you're limiting yourself to just one. Narrow it down to two or three. If I'm being honest, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt myself with a sword because I know I'm going to play with it. The website I was looking at has swords that are meant for competition chopping,

like cutting through whatever that media is, like bamboo or whatever the fuck they do. And it's like this sort of, it's like a real deal. Well, not like, no, they do a thing. I know I've seen the Japanese guys do where they've got. Oh yeah. They have like a, it's like a slanted. It's like rolled up fucking bamboo or reeds or something anyway they've got like a target and like a perfect they show that if somebody if you're not good with the katana you can't chop through all of that shit but if you're really good with it in one slash you can i want to

see that and i want to experience it because i have seen the same sort of things you have right which is like look at this katana master he He can swing a sword. Look at this idiot. And it's like a fully athletic guy who doesn't do as well. And I'm like, what is the trick? Do you need to like slice instead of chop? You know, maybe add a little forward to aft movement on

the sword. Gotta be technique. And angle. Because if the blade isn't like perfectly aligned at the way you're slicing if you twist the blade even slightly then you lose all of that imagine cutting a tomato with a non serrated edge

if you just pressed straight down on it you might smush it but if you gave it a little slide while you cut it that tomato would slice and I think there might be something there in swordplay they're like pulling as they're yeah as they're slicing because you it's definitely technique because there are youtube videos of guys doing that to like seven of those reed bundles

what do you call bundle sticks the tawny mat and then they cut through them all and they're just using a knife and yet they're doing like eight of them in a row yeah dude really the knife competitions are amongst my favorite like sometimes they're um a little bit like cleavers and uh you know so the first thing like sliced tomatoes paper thin. Then they cut a rope. Then they cut a brick. Then maybe slice some more tomatoes. And you're like, God damn, that's a good knife. Yeah, become a sword

guy, man. And you're not going to hurt yourself. Just don't be dumb and you won't hurt yourself. And if you do, you have two eyes already. How many do you need, Greed? I'm worried about swinging. I'm worried about over-s swinging and like slicing my femoral artery and bleeding out before i can even get to my phone dude if i if that if i was like if i was staying over at your house and like i woke up late

morning and i walk out and you're dead from like a sword accident I am hiding your body. I'm making up a story for you. This is because I care about you. I would not let your legacy be that you killed yourself with a sword in your yard. I'd frame someone. I would do something to preserve your honor. Say it was a duel. You're such a good friend.

I'm printing out his browser history and tweeting this. No. No, I'm like, man, I'm not going gonna solve this on an empty stomach let's have a sandwich first say i was dueling someone over honor yeah it's something like that hide your body because i would not wouldn't let that be your legacy yeah just keep the dogs in the house if you keep the dogs in the house there's no way you accidentally cut yourself gruesomely with a sword. How so?

Well, tell me the kind of moves you're imagining doing. I don't know. Maybe I've got some sort of target set up and I go to hit it, but I've never swung a fucking sword before and I lose my balance a little and swing all the way through and hit myself in the knee or the fucking foot or the shin or something like that. But I didn't hit myself with the knee or the fucking foot or the shin or something like that. But I didn't hit myself with a stick or

an axe that'll, if you've ever been chopping wood, sometimes you bump yourself and it'll kind of bounce off. It can slice a couple tendons on the top of your foot. I'm just saying, that can happen. It's a pretty traumatic experience. But

unfortunately, I've got a competition slicing falchion like you played basically you had some coordination yeah um but so yeah i'm a little worried about that but but i think f-a-l-c-h-i-o-n i'm almost positive that it is that. Yes, it was. God, Taylor, you fucking suck. Oh, this looks like a pirate sword. Yar. Yar. Yar it would be.

No, I wouldn't. If you're going to lean in, don't start with like a pirate sword. Start with like a. What's the most basic kind of sword you can think of? Well, it would be the gladius sword. What's the most basic kind of sword you can think of? Well, it would be the gladius sword. So I also thought that it would be smart to get a sword that makes a good accessory to a Halloween costume

because maybe I could be a Roman soldier one year and looky there, Kyle's got a Roman gladius. And the thing would be, you can walk anywhere you want wearing a real gladius and nobody would say boo because it's Halloween. Yeah, okay. Then gladius is clearly the right move. A good Gladius is like $250 to $350.

I say that's a reasonable price. I mean, granted, I've never looked at the market for swords outside of Minneton. Gladius it is. I'll get that thing ordered up. Get it with like a jewel on the pommel, like something, I don't know. Something cool looking on it. That would be neat. Like this one.

This one has a little eagle or something down there at the bottom, like a crest. Get a little amber jewel with a bug in it. Is that an aquila? Aquila? I know it's a Q but I think you pronounce it the G. Aquila?

Either way, get a fucking sword. This is the site I would use. I got a little lost. Is an Aquila the name of the picture on that circle, or the circle? It's just that eagle that's facing one direction. That's an Aquila.

I think it's G, but it could be Q. I know it's spelled with a Q, but I think it's pronounced with a G. Could could be wrong this is the website that i've been recommended to get like a real deal sword they also have armor and shields and larping weapons and gear so you can get war hammers yeah kyle i feel like you're half-assing this with no armor whatsoever you know you're right you're looking kind of hard over there in that armor. Look at him. We have a whole subsection for Asian pole arms.

That's pretty sweet. The Naginata. That's what that lady in Shogun was practicing with. Yeah. 50 bucks? This is... That lady's very attractive. I'm super into... This is the married chick? Yeah, the translator from Sh That lady's very attractive. I'm super into...

This is the married chick? Yeah, the translator Shogun. Super attractive. The most recent episode was really good. There was a part where the guy's trying to sort of teach our white Englishman how to use a fucking

katana. I liked that he didn't have any skill with it whatsoever yeah i'm glad that too so if you're not watching shogun at all to the listeners there is this white guy who sails to japan and uh along the way he bumps into this samurai and the two are kind of natural combatants enemies they don't like each other they're frenemies i feel like okay okay uh early in the show it made it seem like they might fight and it wasn't clear to me who would win as the show progressed clearly the guy who's made a living hand-to-hand combat is head and shoulders better at hand-to-hand combat and i like that they did that because even though he's the star of the

show that doesn't mean that he can beat up even though he's the star of the show that doesn't mean that he can beat up everyone like he's fucking william shatner yeah he tried to hold the sword the way you'd hold like a like a pirate sword at first like a fencing like a rapier or something like he went to hold it like one-handed leaning yeah one-handed like in favor really it was like oh he doesn't know this he doesn't know the way of the samurai yes yeah he tried to hold a sword one-handed and the guy's like two and then didn't even do two wrong at first i forget but yeah i thought it was a little mean the the the english guy didn't bully them for not for having terrible cannons oh that'd be great if he just walked them like hold pick up your gun. Alright, good. Bam!

Click, shoot in the leg. Oh, you see? You've got to shoot me first before I can shoot you. He's reloading the whole time. See, even now, you should be shooting me, but clearly you're not because you don't know how this game works. Well, I'm sorry. Do your guns suck? Is that why we're winning?

Yeah, I'm looking forward to the if there's not a scene in this show we have three episodes left where somebody talks mad shit and then our english gentleman pulls an indiana jones and just goes bang and shoots somebody i'm gonna be disappointed i'm gonna be really disappointed if that doesn't happen i need that moment to happen because these people are so fucking stuck up their own asses with their crazy japanese bushido that it's infuriating at times it's japanese people sort of the not feudalism but um what's the uh chivalry it's like their version of chivalry uh i want they're over the top with their rituals and manners like like our society is polite and and we maybe follow the rules by without even thinking twice about it but their society is really another level just the amount of rules that you need to follow and yeah the consequences are

are just absurd like there's only one consequence. Everything. Oh, did you remove a dead bird from a string? Death. Did you steal anything? Death. That's a meme. Death.

Like, everything, death. What does it mean? It's also death, yes. Yes. Believe it or not, also death, yes. Punishment for killing your mother? Life in prison. Surprise, surprise. The most recent episode, I felt like the plot didn't move a ton.

It did. Significant things happened. But I can tell you what happened in the last episode in nine seconds. And if that's true, not enough happened. I felt like the last episode, I still don't know if our main guy,

I think so much of our main character, the Japanese guy, what's his name? Nagaraku or something. Whatever he is. I'm struggling. I think so much of him, strategically, and then he had that conversation with the prostitute lady.

And I'm like, does our guy have some aces up his sleeve or is he really at his wits end? Because he's so smart and the way the show works, there's no sort of time where he winks at the camera and goes, don't worry, we got this. And they sort of talk about how the Japanese people have multiple hearts, like one you show to the world and maybe one you show your friends and one you don't show anyone, these different sides of yourself.

And it seems like we never get to see him revealing any of his other hearts to anybody. He just – everything's on the inside. So I don't know if he's worried or not. I can't tell. He doesn't have – so I'm sorry to cut you off. I can't tell. He doesn't have... I'm sorry to cut you off, but the guy that you're talking about, the main leader,

the way that he operates, nobody is a trusted ally. Not even his children, really. His children are maybe a little incompetent, and that's why, but his brother, nobody, no one in the whole world does he consider trustworthy.

It's been working for him. That old man, maybe? I love that moment from from this episode it's he planned to watch it this is a tiny bit of a spoiler but but at the beginning of the episode it's a flashback to when the japanese guy was 12 and he'd won this great battle and the uh the enemy bows to him and the enemy's going to disembowel himself and the way way they do that, you have a second, which means you have a guy there with a sword who's going to lop your head off after you have ritualistically disemboweled yourself to fulfill honor. So no need to continue suffering and die two days later.

And this guy bows to our 12-year-old. You beat me. It's over. He gets on his knees, goes to gut himself. And his main homie steps out. He's like, I got you, boss. He's like, no, no, no. I want the new warlord to be my second. And then it cuts.

And at the very end of the episode, that story comes back up. And he's like, man, I made a mess at that. And the other guy's like, yeah, 12 hits before you got that fucking head off. Jesus, it was awful. Who chooses a child to be their second, right? That was the best line of the whole episode. Earlier in the episode, they retold the story as if he chopped the head with one try.

And the guy who took 12 tries just let that version of it, you know, go out in public. But when Private rolled around, it was what Kyle said. Yeah, I made a mess of that. Well, fuck it, tries. Yeah, he really should have picked a child to do that. Yeah, I'll say this. The plot didn't move significantly, but I felt like I learned a bit about the Japanese guy. Just watching him sort of deal with maybe the potential that he's lost and,

and watching him mull over that problem. But I won't spoil the end of the episode because I promise you guys, if you're not watching this show, it's really worth watching. Uh, I, my, my jaw dropped in the last like 30 seconds of that episode.

Uh, a character dies and it's like, holy fucking shit. I haven't felt like this since Game of Thrones, I think. Not just the surprise that someone died, but how it happened was so out of left field.

It was bizarre and a little funny and just fucked up. He didn't die a real hero's death. And I like that. I like that he didn't die a superhero's death. And I like that a noteworthy character, it's not like a main, main character,

but a noteworthy character dies. And I like that in every show. It's one of the reasons I hung on to walking dead as long as I did to the end, because no one's safe in the walking dead. They really do kill people. Rick for all intents and purposes died. Um,

every hard, pretty much everyone from season one didn't make it to the end, except for D intents and purposes died um every hard pretty much everyone from season one didn't make it to the end except for daryl and carol um so yeah invincible if you're watching that cartoon a significant person dies in it and uh as far as i know they must they come back but uh i like it when they kill people yeah the uh are you current on invincible no maybe two down something you don't watch do you don't watch that show or you do i i know i haven't seen any of it so i know you don't like the superhero stuff but how about a superhero cartoon was that yeah this is this uh this

doesn't i somehow like that less it's very good uh it's very popular uh and not just amongst the the standard superhero like just watch it because it's a superhero thing kind of thing it's its own different universe it's very interesting um and it's it's some of the best uh animation i've ever seen as far as the the way i really like their ramifications. Is that the one where the Allstate insurance guy is the main boy? Yeah. J.K. Simmons is Omni-Man, yes. Alright, there we go. I know a bit about it.

He's kind of the main character, or at least the main character's dad, and a big part of the show. It's real good. I like it a lot. Spoiler on that, but who cares? Mark's getting rid of his black girlfriend, and I'm psyched. I've been waiting lot. Spoiler on that, but who cares? Mark's getting rid of his black girlfriend, and I'm psyched. I've been waiting on Mark to get rid of the black girlfriend

this whole time. I can't wait for him to get with the pink girl. She has been a near-perfect girlfriend, but she's not a superhero. It almost seems like dude, you should be dating a hot superhero. There's one there that you're you're shipping them with yeah she's fucking hot uh the the adam eve chicks like super super hot

redhead superhero chick who's single and ready to mingle um yeah and her like superhero costume is i don't know yoga shorts and a crop top or something isn't it i think it's just like a like a one-piece bathing suit basically right that's how i remember it she's got a significant mons pubis in every scene you say that and that's what actually got me to watch the show to begin with and i was like what is what are you talking about i am not seeing can you pull up a picture zach of adam eve eat is it adam i thought it was Eve. It might be Adam Eve. It is. Okay, it is. Kyle knows. From

Invincible. And try to make me look smart. Find one with a significant less cubit. Pick ten fucking random pictures and find me one where she's got a fat pussy. Like X-Men back in the day, that cartoon was drawn for the young man who was for the young boy who was becoming a man.

Jean Grey's titties were hanging out on either side of her. You could see them from behind. It was awesome. All the chicks had camel toes. All the chicks were sexy and flirty. Okay. Meanwhile. This is what you guys are all on about? This is what Woody's on about, first of all. No, this is what you guys are all on about.

This is what, what he's on about. First of all, this is not from the show. Yeah, this is like, this is, this might be from the show.

Yeah, this is from the show. Anyway, this is a cartoon lady, not even any, it's a cartoon lady. I just don't use anything special about her pussy. I think it's very attractive lady.

Uh, I like her powers too. That'd be neat. I noticed that fucking hump lump every time she's on screen. Was that a subreddit? Try that out on a woman. They love it. It's a hump lump. That's what I'm calling

it going forward. What did you say? Hump lump? Yeah. Is that original thought? I thought it was. I hope it's not. You can start a whole community of fucking weirdos. Sheik Shack isn't.

My cool fucking Arabic burger joint I came up with the idea for the other day. Already had several investors. Already taken. There's already a Sheik Shack. You can invest. You can get in on the ground level. Yeah, I'm not seeing any Hump Lump. When you Google Hump Lump, you just get the back of men's necks that's an original thought there that's that's worse than what you is it black men is it specifically black men it wasn't it was

people who keep their head a little too forward i didn't grow up seeing a lot of black people uh and i remember we were at a like a sizzler one time like a classy i know and and we were in we were in line and there was a fat black man in line in front of us and he had that thing on the back of his neck that's like the multiple lumps like those multiple rolls of fat on the back of his neck and like nine-year-old me was like is that a ninja turtle like what the fuck am i looking at i remember being so like i'd never seen that on a human being before and well it doesn't seem like that's because he was black it seems like it's because he was fat and you had a very cherished childhood of not too many fat

people i mean not too many fat people there were some fatties around south you know like you ever see those old video like anytime i see old video footage now of like anytime pre-90s the thing that jumps out at me immediately is like every like the the lack of fat people compared to now it's insane it's wild the difference is that Vincent D'Onofrio? I was going to. He's got a nice bald head. He does. I was watching this guy last night.

IMDB link. He was in a movie called The Wanderers. I don't know if you guys know that 1970s movie. No. It's like from before my time, but I saw it when I was a little kid, and it was super scary to me. He was Dynamo in The Running Man. I know this guy.

Oh, okay. Yeah, he has what you're talking about on his name. That's a good movie. That movie needs a remake. The Running Man. That was a bad movie, so they should make a good one this time. They do that a lot. They take

good movies and make bad sequels or bad remakes they should make take bad movies and make good remakes they've done that already so low i can get you to agree with me um judge dread yeah of course that that was you know there's a lot going on with the judge dread thing they had rob schneider as the comedic relief to sylvester salone who was so vain that he took the helmet off 30 seconds into the movie. Kind of a shit show from the start. I hate Sylvester Stallone for that. You hate him?

Yeah. I take things like that very seriously, Taylor. What's he been good in rather than Rocky, you've told me? Okay, so Rocky 1 and 2, legitimate good movies. 1 won the Oscar. He wrote one as well.

I think maybe screenplays what it won for. Cliffhanger, if you like action movies, is probably one of my favorites of his. It's basically, he's mountain rescue, and they're terrorists who have robbed a money plane, and the plane has crashed on top of the mountain, and so they do a false rescue call and when he gets up there they force him to look for the money bags

that are sprinkled around the mountaintops. They have trackers in them. It's a whole cat and mouse thing. It's a very good action movie. Is that it? I don't know. There's other great stopper my mom will shoot. Okay.

Do you know the story behind that, right? That's the one that Schwarzenegger tricked him into taking. What? Arnold Schwarzenegger has been getting one over on Stallone every step of the way for 40 years or something. They were huge competitors. They were always going for the same scripts and things like that. And what Stallone had been doing is whenever he saw Arnold was interested in a script, he would

swoop in and try to take it. He'd undercut him if he could. He'd be like, oh, you get Stallone for $20 million or Arnold for $25. Come on, it's an easy decision. So Arnold sent out fake feelers that he wanted to stop or my mom will shoot. Stallone swoops

in and takes this awful fucking movie where a cop is partnered with an old lady his mom uh on the other hand like they it probably wasn't that long after Turner and Hooch that Tom Hanks movie where he's got the Saint Bernard uh police partner it's great it's a real sweet movie now put that on the list dog gets shot at the end oh I'll take that on the list. Dog gets shot at the end. I'll take it off the list. There you go. He lives. In the maybe pile.

He saves Tom Hanks at the end. Tom Hanks is about to die and the dog takes a bullet for him. Back off the list. Tom Hanks isn't in a ton of stuff anymore that I've seen. He works constantly. Every year. He ruined that freaking pilot movie on Apple. I'm so dist He works constantly. Every year. Yeah, he ruined that freaking pilot movie

on Apple. I'm so distanced from movies. You don't see this guy much anymore. You're both immediately like, he works constantly, like 15 movies a year. He's always... I want to call it A Few Good Men, but that's not what it's called. Kyle always reminds me every... Masters of the Sky? Thank you.

You're close. I got zero words out of words, though. You used real words. You didn't go I am getting better. He's not using sounds and clapping to indicate

what he likes anymore. He's using his words like a grown up. Yeah. Damn. Well, I need to expand my movie knowledge of him then. Because I really like... You're spending so much time playing that fucking Age of Empires game from decades gone by

that you're missing out on all sorts of quality entertainment. I'm watching the important stuff. I'm watching Shogun. Shogun and what else? You might have me because it's mostly YouTube videos about Age of Empires.

I bet if I look at your YouTube history, it's nothing but fucking Hera or some other fucking user. And Viper. And I've also been watching some... I've fallen back into magic the gathering arena so a little bit of that guy i remember when we got into that years ago kyle

that guy's channel covert go blue he's he's really really good at the game he's fun to watch play because like he's genuinely very knowledgeable the game and so he'll just but like his whole aura is like i'm the best of the best at this so he'll just, but like his whole aura is like, I'm the best of the best at this. And you're a stupid retard. And he's like, legitimately sometimes will be the number one guy. He's gay,

right? Like, I have no idea. He didn't jump out as gay to me. He jumps out as sassy to me. He's definitely sassy. He's so sassy. Uh,

I would have to watch his videos and i it seems a little mean i watch tons of them i've watched a lot of this man's content because he's they're good videos and i'm like yeah i do want to learn your liquid blue slick deck i want to learn how it works show me the fucking uh the gizmo show me how it works but i am just suffering through him like being all sassy and and and catty like like that's how i would describe him yeah grown ass man teaching me magic the gathering my i'm done magic the gathering magic the gathering is like fucking uh uh like a pyramid scheme it's like fucking amway or fucking tupperware or something it's like come on don't you want to come to tupperware party they're fun we all have tupperware well i've got my mom's old tupperware oh no no that's

the old set we're playing modern modern tupperware only oh okay how much is it to get in hundred dollars hundred dollars for one one competitive set of tupperware can't you one bowl now you're sitting there with everybody else with your one bowl and you realize that your problem is you can't play standard or those new formats like i'm jumping back into it now having fun just casually playing some games at night occasionally and i just play historic so like any card that's ever been released is you can do it's like all the decks i made two three years ago are still ready to go. You hop right on there and play them. But you're right. If you try and keep up with

Magic Standard, you need a good job to not notice the amount of money you're spending on that shit. Yeah, it gets into the thousands. It's a very fun game though. It's so fun. I'm not going back to that.

I wish you would back to that. No, you don't have to go back. I wish you would get into poker. Like learning poker. There's no wizards or magic. There's no bows and arrows. There's kings and queens and jacks and jokers. Can you play with the jokers? We will play with the jokers if you'll play poker.

I promise you, if you agreed to play poker with the boys, they'd be like, yeah, okay. Dude, if I lost the amount of money... No, no, you'd be playing, you'd go, hey, seven's wild, right? Everybody would be like, yeah. Like, wow! I play three sevens,

which allows me to use additional cards from a deck I brought from home. I now have five sevens. The ultimate hand. And a reverse card from Uno. And a reverse card. I bought this online for $600. It's the ultimate ace. It defeats all others. The most fun I have

in there is probably Codenames, and then after that it's when we play, like, probably community games like Monopoly and shit like that. Well, Codenames is great. It's just a classic, awesome game. Oh, we smashed so hard at Codenames this week. That was fun. That was good times. That was.

I had a good run of Codenames in our hangout this week. I think it was 8-1. Yeah, it was something similar to that. I don't know what it was exactly. I lost a few, but it was some of those few were the ones when we were all like hey what what happened yeah i lost one where like someone on our team hit and guessing

like we were not done guessing maybe we didn't even guess that it happened in a previous game and my team just hit and guessing so that you could resume where you were and everything was cool then it happened against me and fish was just like, you won that one though. I think, I think he wanted to spite having that disadvantage because that's the one we came back. That was our 28 to three.

Remember I called it. Yeah. I called it like Bruce pointing over there. Cause me and Woody were on the same team there. Woody and I were both on the red team for the first six games of the day. And we were both six. No, we both won so much. Take that what you will, you know, the red team for the first six games of the day, and we were both 6-0. Explain why we both won so much.

Think of that what you will. The ultimate team. Some people say the best pairing in Codenames history. People are saying that. People are. People say that. People come up to me all the time. They come up to me all the time.

They look at me. They say, you're so good at words. The best at words. They say, Donald, how do I get better at words? Say, you're born with it or you're not. I say, Donald, how do I get better at words? I say, you're born with it or you're not. Man, I'd love to see all of our presidential candidates have to play just two rounds of code names.

That would be so telling to me. If they had voter confidence polls beforehand and then afterward, it'd be like, oh, jeez. I don't know. He couldn't connect airplane and hangar. You know, all jokes aside if i if if the candidates played a couple games just get your cabinet that'll be your team like like biden get your cabinet together uh you can have the joint chiefs or whatever and like one of them and you

can have your secretary of state and buddha judge you want to come in here yeah transportation shouldn't you be getting that bit bridge fixed come on. Play some code names with us. Against Trump and his scandalous group of shitheads. He'd bring Ken Jennings or something. No, no. He would have a fucking Discord conversation

on the side and smash everybody. He'd be cheating. There's cheating on all sides. That would tell me more about like how with it they were and how smart they were than any debate those debates are so nonsense and i still stand behind like thinking there will not be any presidential debates i haven't maybe i'll do that in a while like would you like trivia instead of debates because they're never going to make them debate important shit like in a meaningful way oh we've yeah we've talked about the trivia would be amazing um i i not not even i mean i guess trivia by definition not important stuff but just stuff

to show they're still with it well if you ask them the price of bread you know that's that classic gotcha it's like two or three dollars like it varies uh but but if they say like twelve dollars if they're that out of it I don't know if that matters. It just sort of suggests that their lifestyle is very nice, you know, that they never even come close to the price of bread anywhere on a receipt or anything like that. But it doesn't mean that they're not with it. They don't think it's 1970 or 2170 or whenever bread should be $12. They just don't know the price of bread. I'd rather see, I don't know.

I'd like to see how, what they think about some geopolitical stuff and maybe some hard questions. They never ask hard questions. They always dance around, like actually saying anything bad about their donors and the big funds that nobody ever really wants to go after oil. Nobody ever really wants to start talking about getting to that carbon neutral shit without nuclear is absurd i don't know why there's no nuclear like proponents who are like yeah it's it just makes so much sense it makes so much sense it does make a

lot of sense there are nuclear proponents i am i feel like what lately when I listen to Ted talks and stuff, even the greenest of people are more pro nuclear power than they used to be. Yeah. It's just up in the right direction. It's the way. And the best part is like, we've got so much fuel already just sitting around and holes in the ground all over the country. And those secret silos aimed at our enemies.

Like you're like, Oh, ready to go. Like, like it's, it, they can, all over the country in those secret silos aimed at our enemies. You're like ready to go. They can use that I'm sure as fuel. Weapons grade plutonium? I don't know. That's not a thing I know. It's uranium I think. Maybe in a hydrogen bomb.

See I have proven my point about how I don't know. Well the hydrogen bomb utilizes hydrogen and the hydrogen bomb utilizes hydrogen, and the nuclear bomb utilizes nuclear. Duh. We brought our expert this week. They all glow green, so it's easy to mistake.

And people will be like, would you want one in your backyard? It's like, man, there's like two or three. That's how we get power down here, that and hydroelectric. Like Kiwi, there's a big one, uh i think there's two or three down here like not not near atlanta but near where i'm from in northeast georgia i've been to the i think i went to the kiwi power plant was fat you know field trip one time and of course you go through their museum and they're they're like this banana has more radiation than i reacted and it's like that can't be true it's like the tour banana has more radiation than our reactor. And it's like, that can't be true. It's like the tour guide has seven fingers on that hand.

That'd be great if they had a burn victim as the tour guide. Why don't we put a bunch of nuclear power plants in Canada? This is unrelated! Yeah, unrelated. That would be hilarious. If they got an elephant man to do the tour. Or just get him a third arm coming out of his back haphazardly.

That really cheery motivational speaker from Australia with no limbs. They'd wheel him around. Does that exist? You didn't know about this guy? No. Yeah, he can somehow swim. Or maybe those videos are cut quickly. Wait, is his name Giorgio or something? I't think so but he if he's absolutely this is not a dream i watched a swim

with no arms he's fucking badass he was yeah but he had legs he did have legs he swam like a dolphin he didn't breathe for 50 meters he just held his breath and swam underwater the whole time. Oh, apparently... Yeah, his name's Nick Vujicic from Australia. How did he lose the arms? Born without arms and born without legs. Yeah, he's jumping in the pool. Show me a picture of this guy.

I gotta see what he looks like. Does he look like a tadpole or something? He... He's not very mobile looking. You don't think? He think like let's see look like uh what what are those whales at the atlanta uh aquarium woody that look like they've got hips beluga beluga these are like a shape like a beluga whale i want to see this what is this you look at the beluga whale from the right angle it's kind of sexy why is this on linkedin dude's good looking too look at him there he there with his fucking

jean shorts on. Depending on whether or not this video, if you play it, shows him going down or up, would change my opinion of his swimming. Look at how calm the person behind him is. He's done this before. He's swimming. Dude, it's a missed opportunity

that his name is Nick. This floating guy with no arms and no legs should be named bob 100 yeah but look he's in a good mood he's always talking or at least i bet his halloween costumes are great is that a hint of a foot yeah he's got he's got a little little thing down he's got a little helper foot that's how he got look that no wonder he's got a little thing down there. He's got a little helper foot. No wonder he's got three or four kids. Look at that hog. He's got four kids. Four kids.

You think he puts that in her? You think he gets her with that little baby foot? Look at that face. That guy does whatever he pleases. She better be into that. She's the only one with that opportunity, really. I'm glad that some people are able to find the happiness. Man, I'd of that so she's the only one with that opportunity really i'm glad that some people are able to find what if you get happiness man i i well i'd i'd itch my way over to drowning myself in that pool if this happened to me i'm gonna tell you right now not if you have his skills he couldn't drown

if he wanted to i'd figure it out i'd put my head in that fucking like uh that round filter filter pot and just go upside down in there look Look at this guy. Is that the guy I was talking about? Giorgio or something? Now this guy looks like he had arms because it looks like there's a scar or something there. Hmm. Whereas the other guy, OG no arm kind of guy. What the fuck?

Zang Tao. No, that's not the guy I was thinking of. Okay, I want to see how far he's kicked himself out of the water here. You know what I mean? How far out of the water here. You know what I mean? How far out of the water is this guy? He probably has two legs to get that high. No limb athletes.

When I swam in college, one of the other teams had a dude with one leg. And he sucked. Yeah. He was always swimming in circles out there. He's coming into your lane. Okay. Obviously, this guy can swim.

He has legs. Well, I mean, still, though, he doesn't have funny fucking arms. Neither do fish. Yeah, that's true. Fish have gills. Are you a competent, good swimmer, Kylemer kyle no no i can keep myself alive i don't think i would drown um unless the waters were like pretty choppy um but but if it got

anything more than that i would go down uh i think that i can yeah not a good swimmer so you don't know like the strokes you couldn't do I know them freestyle backstroke knowing them and doing them as another thing doing them well as another thing it's just I know them but I'm not a good swimmer now okay I've I've part of me still thinks when I hear like an adult say like I don't know how how to swim. Part of me is like, just get in the water and it'll just happen. Like just intuitively, like how, like move in the water.

And then the Woody as a lifeguard is like, no, obviously not. You fucking, I tell people to swim. It's not natural for humans at all. It's, it seems so easy.

Maybe it's because I did swim lessons as a kid. It's bizarre that they don't just get horizontal. They're sort of bobbing up and down and sort of like trying to pull themselves out. They try to like grasp at it with wide fingers. Oh, it's weird watching someone drown like that. I think I saw a news story where like a kid fell in a pool and two adults drowned trying to save the kid in the pool.

What? What the fuck? No one was paying attention? How big was this pool no one i wish i was there that would be like no big deal saving a child triple kill yeah you have to save the two adults who went in it's not hard either like it's what are you gonna have his nachos his other hand i really do think if you're like woody save all three of them hold a brick in one hand i'd be okay yeah yeah i i don't think i could save them i think i could get the kid out of there but i'm

not going in for an adult anyway yeah it's against your principles it's true to learn to swim nothing it better be hot adult right now if it's some like fat dude that fell in is like right but if he's hot you're there yeah if like john stamos fell in i'm glad you went with cracks his head on the fucking uh on the step on the way i'm like holy shit that's the guy from full house get him out of there yeah did you guys have uh when you would swim in pools or whatever as a kid obviously there were those pictures of the people breaking their neck from diving oh yeah was there uh i never knew anyone who that happened to and I'm realizing now I think adults might have been fibbing to me about like local kids getting paralyzed from it. What do you would know?

That's not super common, right? Not that I know of. You mean diving in, hitting like into a shallow? I feel like hitting the bottom and getting a scrape is super common. Hitting the bottom and getting a neck injury, I've never seen it. Yeah, that was like a mythos, like a tooth fairy level thing. When I'd go swimming, parents would like, don't you dive in there. Remember what happened to little Timmy Smith up the road?

And it's like, Timmy Smith, I never heard of him. And they're like, and you never will again because he's paralyzed giving motivational speeches in Australia. ever will again because he's paralyzed giving motivational speeches in Australia. Every swimmer is a competitive swimmer who's dove into a pool. A thousand, 2000, 6,000 times has hit their face on the bottom. At one point I had a teammate.

He was really good. He was all American and he would always do this thing at the start of every practice where he jumped up abnormally high. And then he went straight down and the water was like three and a half feet deep and he was always fine. That, it's just trying to loosen himself up. I think he was showing off. It was a thing that

he was good at. And if you looked at it, you'd be like, that has to be dangerous. Everyone jumped in the shallow end, but we would take a shallow dive. This guy went straight down like a pencil and then underwater he would just curve it up and save it. I'm going to swim more this summer.

That sounds fun. My pool opens tomorrow. Well, kind of. It takes a while for the water to get clean, but tomorrow the guy's coming. A lot of kids would jump off into the rock quarries when I was a kid. There's lots of, especially in

Elberton, Georgia, there's just tons of these quarries and I was a kid. There's lots of, especially in Elberton, Georgia, there's just tons of these quarries. And basically it's a square hole underneath the dirt. Surprise, surprise. You're just on top of a giant cap of granite that encompasses the entire county. So you can cut square holes into the ground that is just rock.

It's just rock down there, just solid and deep. Super deep, right? Like too deep for a human to touch, maybe? What do you mean touch? Like if you try to swim to the bottom and come back with a rock. Oh, who even fucking knows? Because what they'll do is they're mining, essentially,

in these quarries, and the sides of the quarry have these square holes, and it's a huge hole in the ground, and then it's full of water. I went to a place that there's a, um, a skeet shooting place, sporting place, a sporting clay place in Elberton where they utilize rock quarries.

So they'll throw the skeet out over the rock quarries and you'll shoot them out there. And it's, it's cool because the shot will hit the opposite side and you can see it hit the rock. And because the skeet always hits the rock and because the ski always hits the rock in the same place so it's just stained the rock orange because about millions of them fucking hit that rock but the bottom is god knows you don't know maybe it's 50 60 70 150

you don't know so they would um i say they kids around here have always set up these giant rope swings and cable pulley swings. They'd sometimes utilize some of the leftover cranes and stuff like that. And I remember my dad growing up told a story about his brother-in-law was standing there while people were doing the swing. And the way it worked, you swung out, you let go, do a flip, land in the water. And then there's a string tied to the cable. You swing out on a cable, but there's a string tied to the cable so we can retrieve the cable so the next person can go. Well, my dad's brother-in-law is literally just an idiot,

like probably special. And he's standing like a cartoon character in the coil of rope. Like we're here to do the thing like don't imagine that he's like having a beer by a campfire way over there we're all here on a ledge he's standing like wiley coyote on the edge of the cliff he has he is wiley coyote standing in the fuck elmer fudd like like and so the next person goes and and it's brick mason cord. If you're not familiar with this, very strong, very thin string.

It's like super fishing line maybe, but it is string, nylon. Wraps around his foot, drags him out upside down over the fucking cord while the other person is swinging along too. And he dangles as the thing slices and cuts through his fucking foot in like eight different places. And they're so poor back then. Dad's like, grandmama was putting tomatoes

and potatoes and roots and pulses and they was spitting tobacco juice on it. Pissed him. Wouldn't you know it got real infected. I was like, did that work? worked he's like near about fell off thought he was gonna lose a goddamn foot about plum fell off

oh that's so funny dude my grandpa and your dad would just thick as thieves they would get along so well the way you say he phrases and talks about things it's just a it's a country farmer southern thing they have that archetype dad's watched too many coen brothers movies so he he likes that old-timey um silly uh like i don't know dialogue so he'll he's he's silly the way he does that stuff he loves oh brother where art thou and um what's the other one um when i was crowdbusters raising arizona raising arizona if you've never seen raising arizona not you taylor i would bet my life

my grandpa hasn't seen any of those movies this is just the way he talks yeah damn so did you ever leap into the quarry fuck no no because ever no i don't think i was ever invited from being 100 honest but i also remember my cousin saying that um i swear this happened he dreamt my dad told him he's like hey you shouldn't be doing that's dangerous you know when i was growing up kids would get hurt and your uncle porty fucking like nearly lost his foot one time your uncle lefty uh doing that shit yeah yeah and so um scott said he had a dream that that he drowned like they'd been going every every weekend and spending the whole weekend up there jumping like doing backflips and shit. But he dreamt that he drowned, so he didn't go. And the day he didn't go,

his buddy drowned. Buddy jumps in, hits something under the water, and didn't come up. The Reaper needed a soul. It would have been him. I don't know. Maybe. That's the scary part. Maybe his friend would have died if he was there for him. Oh, that's what I said.

That's what I said. That's what I said at the funeral, too. They hated that. It's part of the eulogy. It's kind of been prevented! Here lies Travis. It's Scott's fault. He always called Scott

his guardian angel. The one day he wasn't there. I've done, not a quarry jump, but I've done stuff like that in the Ozarks, like off the rocky outcrops over it, especially with the ropes. And sometimes you'll be doing it. If you drive through the Ozarks, there will be the local spots that you're passing on the way to where the people who live in Kansasansas city or st louis or whatever go and swim and they will be like the oldest rickety ropes as these like locals are

swinging out and some of them are like fat as shit fat as shit swinging out over this and the rope holds and so that just but you see that and you're like that's a matter of time someone's gonna you know there's a bunch of jagged rocks that if you were to fall 15 feet, you know, prematurely in your swing, you're going to break your legs. I think that an athletic person can fall just much better. That's true. And a lot of these people are drunk. And I think you're better at falling if you're drunk. Oh.

All right. I'm going to. I think you're better at having a car accident if you're drunk. But I think that if gonna i'm good i think you're better at having a car x than if you're drunk but i think that if they're outstanding at it they get most of them yeah run another score loosey goosey they're not posting up on that wheel but i think if you're gonna like fall down an embankment you want to have your wits about you so you can maybe you know not snap your knees backwards or post up like I said. Yeah, maybe.

I guess I just heard someone say that. So I do a lot of sports where people fall, whether it be paramotoring, paragliding, acrobatic paragliding, or motorcycling. People fall dirt biking. And there is a giant correlation between how athletic they are and how often they get hurt. The athletes, they just bounce better, man. Part of it's because they're lighter you know they're just if you weigh 150 falling is not as big a deal as if you weigh 250 oh yeah but also

i don't know like muscles help a little bit and just being fit and athletic um yeah your tendons and the connective tissues are all like tougher stronger better if you're working out you know maybe you're making good fast decisions during the fall too yeah that somebody else isn't i'm not sure you can see that it's like with ice skating like there were times where like for school events or whatever we all go ice skating or something and someone who knows what they're doing like they fall and they like they know to like try and land on their hip their their quad like take some of the the pressure off in the soft area. Don't stick your hand out like this and break your wrist like an idiot.

And then sometimes you'd see someone fall who clearly had never skated before. And they do like a three stooges, like whoop, whoop, whoop, where their feet start coming out and they just tumble backwards, hit their head. And it's like, oh, that could have been catastrophic. We could have watched that woman die right just now in the middle of our field trip and not gotten to go to

the taco or the hot dog stand motorcycle parallels on that like i watch these people who are very good at youtube and there's two motorcycle disciplines called hard enduro and trials and both of them are real slow speed things where they're climbing on like, I don't know, sewage pipes that are six feet tall, rocks that are four feet tall. The sort of thing where you're doing a wheelie stationary and then you hop onto the next rock. If you can imagine. Yeah, that trials the game, the video game. Okay. So these guys do that.

And when they fall, it's amazing to me because they manage to do it like they see the fall coming they decide that it's time to bail and then they let themselves and their motorcycles down and nothing's damaged meanwhile like i'll be on like a trail where to the right if i fall it's three feet lower and to the left if it's three feet higher and i'm just the closest i can come is try to fall to the high side like let's air on the high side because if i fall with a three feet drop i'm kind of fucked i'm not that good at it like it i'll look like a non-athlete when i fall to the low side and other people are just amazing have you ever played sports with someone who's like

sports with someone who's like direly unathletic yes yes it's i hate it oh i've told this story before in college i got thrown out of the dorms and i had to like quick scurry and i got this uh this woman was renting out extra bedrooms to help her pay rent well one of the other persons who rented a different bedroom wild, like crazy social anxiety. He would have like he got like straight A's, but he was always trying to kill himself and he couldn't. He had no friends and and he couldn't exist in like any crowds. Yeah. Committing suicide was like a twice a week thing for him. And he really sucked at it. He was terrible at everything except for school, which I envied.

Anyway, I was like, this poor guy. He doesn't have any friends. I'm going to play Frisbee with him. Huge fucking mistake. I throw the Frisbee at him, practically hit him in the fucking nose, and he doesn't catch it. Okay, whatever. He picks it up.

He throws it to me. He's off by 90 degrees. And I'm like, am I supposed to get that? Like I'm closer to it? It's closer to you. You don't get that. But no, I didn't. I ran and I got it. And I threw it from there.

And I'm just like running to wherever he's randomly throwing this thing. He's like, you are not athletic enough to be my friend. I'm failing. This is a fucking loser he's an idiot maybe he's not better at tying knots and he's he's out of here yeah his suicide attempts like i i know i've told some of these stories before but like one time he took pills and like, so I like call 911. We get the EMTs there. He calls his mom and he's like, mom, I've done it. It's over now. I'm going to die. I just wanted to call you and say goodbye. And it's like, Jesus Christ, you're going to be fine. And he was, um, there was another time I just heard banging from his room. And he had this little plastic first aid kit that he was banging on a mirror.

And he later told me that he was hoping the mirror would break and slice his jugular. This is not a valid suicide attempt. Yeah, this guy was seeking attention in all the wrong ways. He should have tried being better at sports. He was in a lot of pain. What race was he? He's a white guy. Ugly white guy, but thin. Ugly too.

Yeah, he was. Ah, just irredeemable. Fucking loser. Couldn't tie knots. Couldn't find a you know, hated elevators. Just couldn't get to the top of a building. Just yeah his life like there was a kid on our base okay i i was trying to think of like the most unathletic person i've ever played sports with and it was this kid in little league and he was just slow like not witted

perfectly intelligent person but it just seemed like he was slow looking everything he did it was like he moved at 0.8 speed sort of like if you said hey bob that's not his name but he went hey bob he'd go what he was just so slow to react and it was why was bob on third base i can't tell you but i remember dad like that it's practice and dad's hitting he's got an aluminum baseball bat in one hand he's tossing up a ball and he's hitting it two people to make them feel or t-ball baseball okay this is we're like 13 we can throw and so he hits it to this big black kid that was playing shortstop octavius octavius grabs that shit and he was so close to third base but he turned and he launched it at bob over third base and bob never got his hands up

he just ate it in the mouth just ate the baseball right into his braces and like cuts his lips all the fuck up from the braces and he's crying and the emts are giving him oxygen it's like well yeah they're always there at the ballpark the ballpark has like four there's like four or five games going on simultaneously at the you know at the ballpark so kids get hurt all the time there's always emts there but but it's like i've never seen anybody not get their hands up it's baseball it's like what you're there to do baseball. It's like what you're there to do. Like, like,

like it's what you're there to do. You should have been expecting a throw. Yeah. Right. Like I can imagine a world where you're caught by surprise. You know, you're, you're gaming.

So what do you write? I thought it'd be safe in line at the bank. I mean, like, like it's like if you're playing goalie, Taylor, and someone hits a medium one at you intending for you to catch it. You know what I mean? The person throwing the thing wants you to catch it.

It's not the opposite. So it's just you don't drop many. And if you're dropping more than one a day, there's something wrong. You've got to play outfield or something, right? They've got to move you out of there. It's important to catch to catch him back there too he was so slow he couldn't do anything is there a position where it's less important to catch isn't right field the easiest one because people tend not to hit it there as much most hat most hitters are right-handed so they're not going to hit it to right field most of the time so yeah there's probably doing the least amount of fielding out in right field but everybody needs to catch you know unless you're a pinch

hitter yeah that's such a big baseball hitter okay but you probably have to hit yeah he only hit that's all you do or designated hitter as well where where could a guy who doesn't hit well or catch or throw well play coach or um those you can coach you can umpire and and guys that can't catch throw or count have to be coaches and guys that don't know anything about the game i guess end up being the umpires there's a couple of umpires that are like there's a whole youtube series made about how bad they are. Um, and I think all major sports are fixed. I can't get over it. My vision deteriorates.

I think I'm getting more qualified to be an ump. Do it. I was in a, like I winged this girl with a hockey puck when I was like eight, nine years old in grade school gym. Actually winged is the wrong word i caught her square in the teeth with one of those orange pucks because she was in a i was trying it was you know gym floor hockey and me and one of my buddies who i played hockey with actually the marine guy i've

talked about many times one of my very close friends we were both on the same team in our gym uh you know hockey squad and this girl ashley sorry sorry ashley like it's not that big of a sorry she got to go home afterward but i would everyone was keeping the puck on the ground and so the goalies were having a very easy time they were just like laying the stick on the ground and i'm like not today i got i can lift this easy peasy because obviously before you know those plastic hockey sticks with like the straight blades i did what everybody does beforehand where i put my foot on it on the ground and you kind of crank it up and you bend that you had a big old wicked curve in it so that you can get some speed on the puck and i ripped it as hard as my little eight-year-old arms could and it immediately

became apparent to me that it i put too much curve on i put too much curve in my stick because it was five feet high maybe six feet from my stick it would have missed very high i probably would have hit the backboard because that's what the goal was under and it caught her right in the mouth she didn't make a single move She only had one hand on her stick. Wasn't even fucking paying attention. And so she was openly weeping. Then my teacher got mad at me as if it's like my fault. I'm playing to win.

I'm hard of a champion. I'm trying to, I'm trying to pad my stat line. I already had a couple of assists trying to get a goal for the day. And no, then she had to go home and he made a new rule that you couldn't bend the sticks and that you couldn't you couldn't take the puck off of the ground anymore we're not even playing hockey serious question if unless things have changed in the nfl there are rules about how

much bend you can put on the stick now i've always felt like the more bend you put on the stick it's a little more helpful for when you're on your forehand and it's a little hurtful when you're on your backhand because it's bent the wrong way. So I sort of thought the bend would kind of self-regulate mostly and people would put on an appropriate amount of bend so they could handle it well both forehand and backhand. Why are the rules? The curve of the blade, you mean? Yeah. Am I saying it wrong? I thought you were talking about stick flex for a second, but okay. Curve of the blade. Curve of the blade you mean yeah am i saying it wrong i thought you're talking about

stick flex for a second but okay curve of the blade curve of the blade i'm sorry um why at the nhl at the top well you're not worried about people roofing it is there a rule on how much you can bend your blade or curve your blade it doesn't make any sense there are some rules like they have to be within a certain dimension size. So, Zach, pull up Ryan O'Reilly's hockey stick. He he is him and Leon Dreisaitl are two guys who like push it to the absolute limit with how big and goofy they can make the shape of their stick. But it all comes down to what you're doing the most. So if you're always taking wrist shots you might have

a little more curve or at least what's allowable like to the maximum if you're taking slap shots often or you're a face-off guy then you're going to have a different thing so ryan o'reilly's stick which zach will bring up in a second has the most goofy absurd toe curve in the nhl and that's because he's the best face-off guy that the NHL has had in many, many years. And so having that extra little hook there, the rule is that the, the length of the overall blade,

like from where the stick comes out, can't be like more than an inch or a couple of inches or something like that. And so he chose to have the whole blade be pretty much stick straight until the end. And all the curve is at the end. And that means that when he's doing face offs, he can kind of curl that around and nobody else's stick is like that because everyone else is like,

this is retarded. It affects my shooting. It affects my handling. It affects everything, but he's used to it. And so he's still the best face off guy. Cause he has a goofy ass stick they do have rules for like how big a stick can be that occasionally they have to make allowances like yeah zidane ochara who's like six nine six ten none of the regular size sticks for

him oh he's he's out of the league he's like oh he's mid mid 40s now one of the one of the blues players colton pareko he's like six six or six seven he's a defenseman and so he's out of the league. He's like in his mid-40s now. One of the Blues players, Colton Pareko, he's like 6'6 or 6'7. He's a defenseman, and so he's allowed to have the bigger sticks. And I saw in a game once, like, these refs were on the ball because technically it is legal for Colton Pareko to use that stick, but it is not legal for any other player on the ice to use that stick because it's an illegal stick for them. And so the rule is,yle probably doesn't know this if if a defenseman loses their stick a forward

gives him their stick because it's more important that defensemen have a stick than a forward if sometimes they point the wrong way too yeah they'll give them a lefty stick it's all backwards but you like need poke checking and that defensive uh tool if a goalie loses his stick and there's no one around to help and the stick's knocked into the corner whatever defenseman you know give the goalie the stick it's very important the goalie has that there and so at one point a player's stick broke and he went to pick up colton pareto's off the ground and start using it in the play and immediately the ref was like illegal stick maneuver you can't you can't play with that you can't do that and

it's like that's what you missed someone's gonna need their teeth pummeled in three feet from you but you caught the illegal stick yeah it's cool i still don't know why they would put a rule about the bent the curve of the stick i i yeah i guess because it would be so easy for for wrist shot guys to abuse that i i don't actually know. As a goalie, I'm not sure. Do the stick break from doing that? Sticks break all the time. That's probably why. It's probably making the thing too weak, right?

Well, you can't play if your stick is broken. Is it dangerous when a stick breaks? It's very dangerous because they're carbon fiber, and so you can stab someone with it very accidentally or easily. So if your stick starts to break at all you know you have to drop it like you can't do anything with a broken stick what do you think the next advancement in the major sports is going to be as far as equipment or technology like like i mean the nfl as much as i despise the nfl and all they stand for like man they put on a fucking show with all

those that the the cameras that zip around above the players on the the wires yeah that's neat not only are they like right on the money where they need to be but the they look incredible like they do a good job um basketball talking about changing the ball so that's so it's a really significant change it's going to be some space age polymer and hollow inside oh i saw that can you maybe grab a picture of the potential new nba ball i saw that how is it it's going to pick up crap isn't it it's got like holes in it oh i didn't think of that you would think it would in streetball like you know at a yeah it's like a johnson outboard motor it does yeah it really does outboard motor it probably no i don't know what that is yeah i can't imagine that most players

would in the middle of their career want the ball to change like they've got to be kind of pissed about that it's like hey i've kind of honed my craft of shooting the ball and like what if it turns out the player i'm sorry kyle like i'm thinking let's say that i've got mediocre handles and i'm great at shooting and this new ball is a little more dead and doesn't bounce off the rim it just tends to fall in maybe i'm like this is great for me that whole dribbling thing was never my cup of tea anyway but if all my shots go down now can you show us that ball zach that the new the i I don't think they're going to do it. They're not going to do that.

They're just not. That's crazy. That's going to get so much crud in it. It's going to be disgusting. So the only way they can do that is if it flies like a regular ball and bounces like the regular ball. What's the advantage? What can we now do that we couldn't do before with this ball okay so for the first half of it it is supposed to be just like a regular ball

i haven't held one and even if i did i'm not that calibrated you know i'm not a real player but uh they say it's about the same okay the advantage i honestly think it's to sell balls okay the advantage i honestly think it's to sell balls would would like fucking everybody on the planet just switch to the new ball yeah i mean they sell a million balls i mean not just that but like if it's if it's the new official high school they'll sell a billion balls woody oh yeah a billion carbon fiber balls and then we'll learn right away that not only does it not fly the same and it's not getting the same and it's not getting the same bounce and players are mad because they can't play as aggressively but when they when they when they get crushed the fiber the carbon fiber splinters go into these these

players who get paid eight million dollars a game yeah it seems like and so then they all get thrown in the ocean i think i'm just excited about something new. It's like a sea change. I'd like to see. Yeah, I don't care what they do, I guess. It's a nonsense game. But NBA to me is genuinely like, whose line is it anyway? We're like, we're not keeping score

because who fucking cares? It's like, it just seems so silly. Hey, dribble next time, Buster. Like, what are the refs doing? I know enough about basketball to know dribbling is such a key part of it. Here's what you need to know. NC State is the most dominant basketball school on the planet right now.

Both our men's and women's are in the final four. No one else can say that. Score is posted, bitches. Is that the team that that girl, Caitlin something, is on? I think that's Iowa. Does that sound right? That does sound right now. Nevermind.

Well, what girl, what's special about this girl? Caitlin Clark is a very good three point shooter. As a matter of fact, she's, she's better than most of the, the men in the NBA.

I think it's hard to say if he gave her a man's ball, which is slightly bigger, that might change things. But is the, or if you made Steph Curry defended by women's college teams. Well, she did the All-Star game, and it was her versus Steph Curry, the three-point challenge. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, yeah. So Steph Curry won, but, I mean, she was only off by a shot or two, and she would have beat most of the men. Yeah, they should have just played one-on-one. No. Well, don't shatter the illusion. Yeah, yeah. I talked to some problems girls and

they're like she could be in the nba i mean i'm not saying women are just as good as men but this woman could probably make the nba i'm like i don't think so man like yeah no way there is a position in the nba for someone who just catches and shoots right you stand on the elbow or in the corner and you catch the ball and you shoot it right away. That's a thing. LeBron saying he hopes she joins the NBA? I bet he does like to see it. It'd be funny. I got another 10 years in me if y'all start recruiting from the women's schools.

LeBron says he wants her to join the NFL. She'd be such a massive defensive liability. As good a shooter she is, I don't know if she's that good with a man's ball and uh i had another thing defended and that's it yeah and once she starts getting up and down the court like like look i don't know anything about your sport which is what i'm gonna call it the woody sport of basketball yeah but it seems to me that a big part of it is that they're so

fucking long that they don't take as many strides as a normal man would getting up and down that court. It's like, whoa. What is she, 6'3"? Less, I think. She's like a normal human. 6'1"? Get the fuck out of here then.

You'd be one of the shortest people in the NBA. I could run up and down that court for about two trips. You can do more than that. It's not a very big court. Yeah, but it's just... You can't do it as much as LeBron or any professional player. I remember when they were trying to say that Serena and Venus Williams

could play men's tennis, and I think they asked... Oh, it's the really outspoken tennis player. John McEnroe. McEnroe. They asked McEnroe, I think. And he was like, she'd get blown out by the 400th best man in the world. 700th. Yeah.

The way it went was this. He was praising them. He's like, she is the best women's tennis player to have ever lived. He was trying to give her a compliment. And they're like, why are you qualifying it? Why don't you just say she's the best tennis player to have ever lived? And he's like, well, because she'd get beat by the 700th ranked man. And they got super offended on the show.

They're asking him for an apology, which they did not get. And then they asked Serena Williams about it. And she's like, yeah, yeah, I think I could be about 700th in the men's. Because she knows the sport and is like, yeah, they do serve it real fucking hard. I think they played. I think then they played a game with her against some guy who was ranked like 300th or something. They blew her out. Like smoking

cigarettes between rounds. I watch MMA a lot. And those women train against men in MMA all the time, right? Every training session, the gym is 80% guys. So they're rolling with guys constantly. They know where they stand,

right? Every guy in the UFC can beat any girl in the UFC. And, uh, I imagine Serena trains against men too. She knows. It looks like it. Karsten Blash,

who was ranked 203rd at the time, played a set against each of the Williams sisters and beat them 6-1 and 6-2 while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. I mean, I bet that guy had a great day. He's like, oh, it is time for Carsten to shine. Finally. They come for the 203rd guy. Finally, Carsten will show his worth

man, just 20 years later and he could have transed up and dominated would that be a good reality show? Matt, would you tune in to see the greatest female athletes face off against some guy who he was pretty good in college

that'd be fun we got Carl here, he owns a bar in milwaukee hasn't played a lick of ball since what was it mark 98 yep 98 99 champs yeah the northeastern regional champs let's keep it in perspective well he's gonna be going up against denise here she's number one in the world keep in mind alan has developed a severe prescription pill problem he's not fired up he has the shakes who's the guy zach um white guy i think he played for the celtics scalisi scalini uh he did that like brian scalini challenge zach's gonna know this i'm just waiting for him.

Brian Scalini Challenge. Like playing against Joe's? Brian Scalabrini. Something like that. Anyway, so he did a pros versus Joe's thing. This is a guy. He had a pretty long NBA career, but he barely played. This is a guy who would get six minutes a game, two minutes a game.

Some games he would just ride the bench the whole time. And then he would play like d1 college players and just fucking smoke them he smoked anybody you know are you the best at the y you were not even close to the worst player in the nba and he might have been the worst player in the nba for a couple of those years and his famous line is i am closer to lebron james than you are to me and it's like fuck and he's right and he would just 1v1 people oh and by the way he's like retired and gotten fat and he's smoking like current d1 players look at this guy uh he's he looks like that magic player we were talking about earlier

we were talking about tennis for a second and it it reminded me of vitas guerrilla do you guys know him no no do you know the name jimmy connors that's a famous tennis okay so jimmy commons was a really really good tennis player he's the best in the world for some period of time and he beat vidas gerilatis 17 times in a row so then finally in their 18th game vitas. And he gets up there at the podium, like the press stand, and he says, nobody beats Viti Geroulis 18 times in a row. I'm sure I messed up his name. Now, I'm going to leave this window up

because I absolutely now want to invest time in watching pros versus Joes challenges in sports. Oh, I got you. Have you ever seen this one then? So this was a famous moment on the Howard Stern Show. want to invest time in watching like pros versus joe's challenges and sports i got you uh have you ever seen this one then so this was a famous moment on the howard stern show um where basically arty lang was talking shit um arty lang if you don't know fat coke addicted short italian comedian um he uh but he but he could shoot basketball and he was like i could beat a fucking like college basketball pro like like i know an wnba pro i think is where he

started and a girl who like started for the penn state uh girls calls into the show and starts talking shit and so long story short they ended up playing a 1v1 game in an open open air court in front of a huge crowd with like stern broadcasting it live 14 to 10 she beat him it was close he was ahead at one point at one point it looked like it was going to be embarrassing for her and then i think, I think she pulled back ahead, but it's clear that like, man, like, come on.

Like, like imagine if already was just six feet tall or not obese or not hung over and fucking yacked out. It was, it was a little embarrassing for her. I almost want to see the game. I have this idea in my head. Here's how it plays out.

I'll have to look at it off. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. And if you like, I bet she's like a 12 year old playing Madden or something like she knows. Oh, this guy's vulnerable to this. You know, he can't stop my ex. And she just went to that bag again and again and again. I bet I want to see it. I haven't seen it.

A coon's age. I do remember watching it like They had that show on E. It was on E. They had the Howard Stern live show. And I think they would just be 30-minute segments of a four-hour day. Like just the best bits maybe. And it was just so raunchy. But they would play one after the other after the other late night on the e

channel which i don't even know if that shit exists anymore i don't watch cable tv but that was my introduction to howard stern uh and then like whenever i got serious satellite i i've heard every everything that's ever been broadcast i've heard i got to the reruns multiple times like i've heard i feel like i've heard all of the greatest hits for sure i know all the stories and characters yeah i don't i'm sure there's some like broadcasts where they just didn't do anything that day i haven't heard but anything that they rebroadcast on serious exam and every new thing for like five years when i was listening to it i listened to he might be the best interviewer on the planet maybe you you disagree now. I just got to the part where you hated him. I can't stand him now.

Look, he changed what he's about and what he does. That's just not my cup of tea, as you like to say. It's just not for me anymore. He used to use his interview powers for evil. That was a good show too.

He would get like anna cole smith sure anna cole smith and ask her about her sex life with that old guy he would ask um he would try to hit on like hollywood it people of the day you know like the j-lo of her time or jennifer lawrence over time and he'd be like you know we should bang i'm not your man does your man get you to orgasm is he taking care of you i'm not afraid of your period with your man i'm not afraid of your period we can go i'm in every day you know that's the kind of shit that he would say to these girls on the radio be like julia roberts yeah like julia roberts or someone you would think is way too classy to be spoken to like this. And, uh,

you know, I think he told, it was someone like on Julia Roberts level that if she wore pantyhose, it would be like, you're, she's a virgin again. And I'm like scratching my head, trying to figure out what he means there.

Um, but I guess he thinks he's going to like poke a hole with, with his dick and the pantyhose, I guess, I don't know. Um, but he would use his interview and charm for evil and get women sometimes to admit things they didn't want to admit like you know the play

by play of their wedding night or something and uh and just get people to open up now he's still a great interviewer but he gets like musicians to explain the genesis of a song or how a band broke up or something like that some of those i like like if it's someone i really enjoy i'll say this lady gaga's interview is excellent lady gaga plays live in his studio and she's so incredibly talented like that's when you can there's so many artists artists that if they were in a bar with a guitar you'd be like what the fuck am i listening to or you just be like passable that's okay for for a coca-rabas mexican restaurant it's good enough but you wouldn't think grammys

but if you hear like she was incredible on that show she's playing the piano live and singing live sort of an unplugged version of some of her hits i enjoyed that but what i really liked what really passed the time if I was on a big long road trip, five or six hours at a time, were the games he would put on, the little game shows that involved freaks and geeks and weirdos and shit. It would be like, there was a guy who wanted to be vomited on. And I think if these women wanted money or to win a prize, they had to vomit on this man. And they weren't like sex workers who vomit on.

They were just like strippers. So they're struggling to make themselves vomit. He's naked on the studio floor laying on plastic. And he's like rubbing his nipples. He's in heaven. He's in heaven. Because I think he had initially called in and be like I always wanted a woman to vomit on me but no one ever will

I'll never have my fantasy and it was like a make a wish situation I think where Howard's like don't worry I will make your fantasy come true because we're sponsored by like Manscaped this week and we got $10,000 to give

to whores. I mean, they had a Manscaped bit once where they had a stripper or a porn star, I don't remember which, a dirty, sexy, naked lady shave that retarded midget his balls, his dick,

his gooch, and it's on YouTube unedited. Like you can see his dick like the whole thing is that his name it might have been beetlejuice i think it was um and then they've had bits where that felt real with the drama amongst the cast you know there were people who kind of like fired or got quit over the years because of some of the drama it seemed like a lot of it was real and over time you know you enjoy i i got to like that cast of characters i like robin i guess i think i prefer the episodes when she's not there but i like her as a person or whatever um but i loved that show but when they stopped doing things like are you dumber than a box of

rocks that's one of my favorite games you get three strippers all right and then we play a little trivia game a trivia called uh dumber than a box of rocks and every time the girls get a wrong answer they have to look into the camera and say i'm dumber than a box of rocks and howard apologizes profusely that i don't make the rules lady uh you know i just i wish i had some control of the howard stern show i'm so sorry but now you have to look into the camera and say, I'm dumber than a box of rocks. I'm so sorry. I wish that it weren't this way. Man, if there was something I could do.

He's like a weird, unfunny hypochondriac, right? He's always been a hypochondriac. He's a little funny occasionally. The last time I saw him doing anything, he was real into his and his wife's charity, which is the north shore animal league and it's all about like saving cats and taking care of animals and they're super into that he has multiple rescue cats in his ridiculous apartment all the time so like that's his main

thing outside your animal did he go straight from wife to wife it almost seems like he met wife number two cheated on one his current wife's like a like a nine like a solid like classic blonde hollywood looking like bombshell like last time i saw her i mean it's been decades now he's so old too everybody's getting old but he's 70 damn is that all i thought he might have been older no i'm impressed by the way he interviews. He comes really well prepared. And it's something I should do better. But I saw him interview Billy Joel. And he just seemed to know his entire catalog.

Billy Joel had written a new song. And he really pried out of him what the genesis of the song was. What was behind it. It's something about is it too late and yeah howard stern's mom is still alive oh that's good i'm glad to hear that she seems like a nice lady sticks what about his dad dad died two years ago at the age of 99 yeah they were they would come on the show occasionally and they're very sweet, down-to-earth, normal people, you know what I mean?

Who have been living in Howard's universe for the last 40 or 50 years. Damn. His movie's great, too. Really? Yeah, you've never seen Pride of Parks? I've seen it more than once, I think. I think it's good.

I can't think of a movie that I walked past more and never got at Blockbuster as a teenager. Just being like, oh. I would see that everywhere. Just private parts. Him standing arms folded, sunglasses on,

long hair, no shirt, and then the backdrop is like a New York skyline. The foreground covering his nudity yeah yes there's a scene in that movie where he decides that he needs to be dirtier to get famous so the next day he has a really hot woman squat over her 1980s gigantic speaker that is a piece of furniture and he becomes the vibrator for her by going and she's like oh don't stop don't stop it's a pretty good scene yes he fucks her with a subwoofer that's that is a good scene do you guys have any strong memories of walking past certain movies at blockbuster

the other one like every time i see the the cover of eight-legged freaks a movie i've never seen i think about blockbuster or hollywood video i can i could almost paint that because i know that the giant spider is on there but the the actor that that that guy who was married to courtney cox what his name? He also does WWE. David Arquette. David Arquette. I think David Arquette's face is on the box. Zach, pull up the box for Eight-Legged Freaks.

I think there's a giant spider. I think the background is maybe a desert with maybe one of those red rock formations. I could be completely wrong about that, but I think David Arquette is there and he's scared. That's how I'm picturing the cover like like how close am i you're you're shockingly close to the cover of eight-legged freaks i remember walking by this yeah never saw it but i remember it being in every hollywood video every blockbuster i ever walked through.

Honestly, it's a little creepy. It's that era of CGI, but when the spiders pounce, there's something real fucky about it. It's like, ugh, because they're very big. They're bigger than dogs. They're big. They're so big that you know you couldn't contend with one. You're like, I'd just be fucked if that got on me. When did, are there, when's the last time you saw, like, a movie rental place?

You mean saw one in the open? So there's one. Like in the wild. I went to, what's it called? Something Drome. There's one here in Atlanta that's, like, really retro and kind of a, it's an East Atlanta video drone,rome i think i went there maybe five years ago or something but you know it's almost an

ironic trip it's like hey do you want to go to the video rental place yeah sure and like i think they doesn't have like highlander 3 or something it's like let's go home and stream it yeah let's go home and watch that movie that's the worst one i. I've got to see it. Somehow Sean Connery came back for the paycheck. So that was probably the last time. I think maybe I got a DVD from one of those red boxes one time because I couldn't stream it, but there it was right next to my house at a pharmacy. Who's using those?

I haven't seen one in forever. Poor people. Are they even around? Yeah, they're all... Every CVS pharmacy in the south has a red box attached to the outside man that's baffling it's so much more expensive than just like even if you buy netflix or whatever streaming service what if you don't have internet oh that's fair yeah if you don't have internet you gotta you gotta go to red everyone has the

internet not everybody everyone with the tv has the internet homeless Not everybody. Everyone with a TV has the internet. Homeless people have phones. Satellite. More common. We got satellite. DVD players or internet access? DVD players are more common. What?

As far as who has more of them? Every single person has a DVD player. Anyone who actually cares about high quality video has a good Blu-ray player. Or a console or or something if you give me a blu-ray right now i guess my xbox would play it wait does it even have no i don't think it has a freaking thing anymore it does oh yeah oh yeah if you've got a good xbox like they might make like a weird white version that you would never buy anywhere i've've got whatever the best one was. Exactly. There you go. We got Blu-ray players. Zach says

22.5% of all US households that's 27.6 million homes have no internet access at all as of 21. Yeah. That's high. That's higher than I would have guessed. Most of those households are on Skid Row. Those are your Redbox

users, boys. No, there's places in the South where they have internet, but it's enough internet to do emails and stuff, so people choose their phone instead. It's just like, why would I pay for just enough bandwidth to operate a laptop? I'll just connect to my Tether whenever I want to get some porno or something. It's like within the last few years that my grandparents got good enough internet to do like anything more than email with it just because they live in such a rural area my dad doesn't my dad still doesn't have it i'm like i'm always bothering him i'm like

you know he watches that fucking shit oh my god i don't know if i told you this the other day what if you can get starlink before we get off the topic too far i've been i i i think he can i looked into it and it was like coming soon to this area but that's been like two years ago so maybe i'll look again now better hurry up but but he um apparently my sister hasn't lived there in so long but he's like your sister's got got these channels locked and i was like what channels does she have locked? He's like, you know, I wanted to watch a tombstone the other day. It was on the Western channel and it's locked. And I'm like,

you know, I'm talking to a 70 something year old man about technology. And I'm, and I'm like, I don't think it's locked, but even if it is, it can be unlocked. You know,

this isn't like a, a real lock. This, this isn't, a real lock. This is like one of those, like just turn the parental settings off and your settings, you know, it's not like there's a code. And if there is a code,

there's a way to reset all the codes, you know. This is a household appliance, not Fort Knox. And it's just like, I'm just like, Dad, why are you even on this fucking satellite shit still at first he thought it was the tv he was like i'm gonna have to get a new tv she's locked this one it's so funny i'm like that 60 inch 4k tv i bought you like two years ago yep gonna have to get a new one i'm like no no it's not the tv she hasn't locked your television

it's a television it dad what you're gonna want to do is get a hammer i want to be like you can't lock a record player you know like like you've just got like the wrong record your foot i want to like break it down to some old-timey media or something but i don't know how he needs a fucking internet so i could just log him into all my shit and he would have so much to watch that he'd never pick a thing he just probably still watch gunsmoke you should you should that can be his christmas gift this year or maybe even before that if you don't want to make him wait nine months what starlink star well if starlink's not available nothing you can do georgia is fully available for Starlink,

according to Zach. I think the Dish or whatever receiver used to be like $500, but I think it's more like $750 or $800 now, huh? No, it's easy to learn. I should look into that. It seems to be working pretty well for those Ukrainians

over there. They're doing well, right, Woody? Aren't they doing well? They're not losing, are they? They haven't been losing for a long time, right? Seems like they've been losing for a long time. I've seen that way. Yeah. Sorry.

I'm rambling, Starlink, and I can't finish my thought. No, keep licking. Yeah, last I looked, they had just taken back some inconsequential piece of land that they recently lost it's basically a stalemate and i think they're losing yeah i mean you wouldn't call it winning but i'm gonna make up a number i bet russia picked up like a hundred square kilometers this year so is ukraine winning clearly not they have less land than before is russia winning well like by a little yes because they have more land than before okay so russia's winning and at this rate they'll have won the whole thing in 7 000 years yeah maybe it looks like it's it's all but one for

russia like what's ukraine gonna like they can't here's how i think it's going to go dramatically regardless of who wins it will be won this way they'll just press and press and press and then something will snap and they will gain tons and tons of land yeah i mean how many more people does ukraine have they're like throwing 50 year olds i don't know i used to watch it they got plenty of people i watched this like i followed this thing for hours a day long after everyone stopped. But now I've sort of stopped, too. So the most recent strike that the Ukrainians did, and it's so funny because after the terrorist attack, Vladimir Putin's like, oh, all of our defenses are on high alert. We're ready for anything from anyone from anywhere.

We're ready for anything from anyone from anywhere. And then the Ukrainians take a Cessna and load it up with explosives instead of passengers and luggage and put a remote control inside and pilot the Cessna like 600 miles into Russia and blow up a drone factory. Well, who could stop a Cessna, Kyle? Be reasonable. Who could stop a Cessna? They move it like 250 miles per hour. Sometimes double digits in speed. Yeah, that's why you use it, because no one looks at that and assumes anything sinister.

It's like, that's a retarded thing to fly armored bombs with. Surely that's just some goofball up there. Yeah, that's what air traffic control is like. Hey, flight 327, who are you and why are you flying out of that war zone to our west? Don't worry about it. Don't worry.

It's cool. All right. You must promise me. He says he's professional Russian. Under operation, cross my heart, hope to die. I will allow him deeper intonation. One thing I'll say, you know how, like,

sometimes you'll have two guys fighting in the street, and, like, one of them's got an older brother who's watching, and you know that this guy can't win because if he ever starts to win... Only one person's allowed to win. Only one person's allowed to win. I think to some extent that's true with Ukraine. The powers of Europe won't let Kiev fall.

That I'll bet anything you want on. Kiev will not fall. If Russia comes close to take Kiev, you're going to see some other troops showing up, some other technology showing up, or red lines. You're going to see airstrikes or something. NATO will be drawn in before Kiev falls. They're not going to make the new front line Poland.

They're not going to do it. Did you see whoever the fuck was like, oh, we're putting Ukraine in NATO now. Like, we're going to do it. I would like to know who that was it was somebody important or like a reporter making a guess u.s secretary of state blinken oh says ukraine will be a nato member so that's the horrid news event horrid news if you don't like killing russians horrid news if you don't like world war three well hang on is there a period at the end of that sentence?

Or does he say, like, one day in the future they will be? Because it's a pretty different statement. Which I think is what he was probably saying. He's certainly not going to try to introduce Ukraine to NATO. It was probably a question asked of him that is now being phrased this way

so it'll get more clicks, right? That's why. They're like, well, can you imagine a future where someday Ukraine will be in the NATO? Yes, I think someday Ukraine will be part of NATO. He's talking about Star Trek days in the future, I bet. I do have this statement. Ukraine will become a member of NATO, period. Our purpose at the summit is to help build a bridge to that membership. So I feel like it's a little of both of what you're saying.

Yeah. Well, you can't, they can't become a part while they're in the middle of this war. That is like a NATO thing. I don't think you can join while you're at war. Rules can be broken and, and yeah, for sure. They can make little workarounds if they want.

Hopefully they do not because then what what is it, like Article 5? Turkey's not going to sign off on that. They almost lost Turkey because of those Russian psyops going on in Sweden burning Korans. I don't know what's going on in Turkey, and I don't want to. What are they doing over there? They have good street food. Good drones. They build really cheap attack drones.

Who do they give them to? The Ukrainians. I wasn't even sure, but okay. I mean, I bet they probably sell some to the Russians too, but they definitely sell them to the Ukrainians. The Ukrainians. The Ukrainians. They're so smart there.

Ukrainians. The smartest people in all of Europe. France made some kind of big commitment to support ukraine and bolster their own defense budget but it turns out half of that is their own nukes so that's not like defensive help for ukraine but cron uh of france is talking reckless he's talking out of pocket. Every time I see him talk and he's talking about if we need to send French troops, then we'll send French troops. I'm not drawing any red lines.

We're ready to do this. We're ready to do that. He's ready to put on one of them Napoleon hats and ride into Russia. I hope he's the first to go. I hope he's on the front lines tomorrow, putting his money where his mouth is, fighting hard. If he goes, Poland will likely join because Poland's also ramping up.

And they're pretty much the new front line against Russia. Man, Poland's just so long of being bullied from all sides. Just so long of just like, can we just please let us do our thing? Let us do whatever Poles polls do we don't even know what we do anymore that's how long they could read they'd be very offended i never understood where that stereotype comes from the the like polish people being stupid i never questioned it as a kid i just retold the the jokes. Yeah, it's just like, oh, that's good. And I don't know any polls, and so I choose to believe this. Yeah, honestly, but see, I felt the same way about Jewish jokes

because I didn't know any Jews. So I just kind of was like, what's a Jew like? I have no idea, you know, no idea what their stereotypes are. Where I'm from in Jersey, like a quarter of the neighborhood is Jewish. Never seen one. Definitely somewhere in between you guys. I knew Jews and I had Jewish buddies growing up. A few I played hockey with. But definitely not

a quarter of the neighborhood. That's a lot of Jews. Yeah. Some might say it's not enough. Like myself. I might say it's not enough. There's no starving for Jews there. They need more. More bagel shops.

The more Jews I have around me, the safer I feel. I'll tell you that right now. All right. It means you're probably in a good neighborhood. Or you're underground. It doesn't get talked about but i think they've called up like three or four hundred thousand reservists over there in israel for the idf and it's not a country of a ton of people but you might find this interesting table there's one group of people who aren't subject to all this

this militarism oh oh this is gretchen the ultra it? The ultra-Orthodox Jews. The fact that they... That's got to be a self-dubbed group. We're the ultra-Orthodox Jews. Yeah. They don't have to be scripted into the fucking IDF and do their bit for some reason. And in the midst of this six-month-long now war,

there's a lot of people who are like, I think you also chip in and do your part. And I agree, Taylor. I was like, it's horseshit that some group shouldn't be subject to, you know, the responsibilities everyone else is. And then, Taylor, they had a little video footage over where the ultra orthodox is like study. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, leave them where they are. study. And I was like, whoa! Whoa! Leave them where they are! What are they doing? These gentle souls need to stay with their books and avoid

dust and any particulates. A lot of particulates in the air. They look like Kyle's cousin from South Park. The one who's like... Oh, he's Kyle. You see me hit the ball? He's doing that shit. But it is horses shit, though.

You've got this one religious group who aren't... They don't have to go. The politics are fascinating, though. So what it is, is they used to make up a tiny little portion of the population. So when whatever, 0.5% of Israel didn't want to participate in the military, who gave a fuck, right? Like, all right, these little guys will let them study on their books whatever now it's 13 of the population because these people multiply like rabbits and they're a very like like the mormons it feels like more than 13 apparently their impact on society is really big and that's made them kind of unpopular amongst the other israelis but they're very active voters

and they're all for netanyahu which gives them like a lot of political clout like you know in our country fucking 13 will make the difference of every election i've ever lived through probably even reagan mondale 13 is huge and they all vote consistently as a block for whoever gives them the shit. And now it's very hard to make them anything but like Israel's welfare recipients because you need their votes. It is funny to imagine like in Israel, like some of those soldiers walking around those neighborhoods and being like, ah, these Jews. That's how it is with every group i wish that people wanted to talk about like race more and weren't weren't so like weird about it sometimes but you know that we see white people and we're like fuck you piece of white trash, piece of shit. Yeah, it's like, get it together.

Get it to fucking gather. Jesus Christ. Why do you have to... Do they just hand meth out at the white trash camp? Brush your teeth. Brush your fucking teeth. Have better choices when you pick your tattoos and stop doing methamphetamine

and making us all look bad. Little sunscreen is here here what the hell like and every race is like that like like i'm sure for like indians they look at people with business degrees that don't have science and computer degrees and they're like oh fucking loser but that i know with black people you know chris Rock's got that whole bit, right? Remember when Michael Scott tries to re-duke that bit? It's the N-word bit. It's true for every race. Every race has a group of people amongst themselves.

There's a word for each of them. I don't know what the others are, but I know we call them white trash. I know all of them. I have flashcards. Just in case he ever has a a kid he's been prepping flash cards yeah i can't let the can't let those see the light of day i've got hundreds some of my makeup and drawn caricatures from the from the 1700s yeah yeah just those offensive caricatures i saw before we get to offensive caricatures, hold that thought. We're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. This episode of PKA is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com.

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So, yeah. move over sliced bread here comes big shots of semen I wonder if even at the time when that sliced bread thing came up people were like that's a stupid saying we've been slicing bread for eons how else would you eat it? By the loaf? I think it's pre-sliced is the point. That's the invention. A slicer that cuts it whatever, 18 times at once. That's just a knife, but slightly faster, right? Probably a lot of knives. Maybe a bunch of hands. That is probably what it is either way don't worry

yourself about sliced bread worry yourself about lock and load code pka code jizz check kyle gave me an idea last podcast um i guess there's a solar eclipse running through america and i thought i might get on my bike and ride over to Ohio and check it out. I don't think I've ever seen a full solar eclipse before. Yeah, how far away is that from you? 500 miles maybe, something like that. It's a good drive for a non-Midwestern. Yeah, I was going to say, oh, so you've got a whole day at the end of that. It says it's about an eight-and-a-half-hour drive. My experience is that is a full day on a motorcycle which is probably how i'll do it

okay and um yeah it's just it's a little more tiring so you stop for longer like in a truck eight hours i'll eat while i'm driving and just get there on a bike it'll be like finally it's fucking lunchtime i need a break i think i can drive like 40 minutes southeast and be right in the middle of it. But I'll probably see enough of it here because I'm still in the band. It kind of goes through St. Louis. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I saw a little graphic on the internet.

And the difference between 100% and like 97% is very critical. Oh, really? Yeah. Now, you'll still get 100, maybe just less of it very critical. Oh, really? Yeah. Now, you'll still get 100%, maybe just less of it, but you'll still get the 100%. You'll see what it really is. But if you're outside the band, even just, it's a significant difference.

What do the flat earthers think of this? What are they thinking about this? I'm going to find out right now. What's a reputable account about flat earth that isn't that isn't pulling my leg struggle yeah that's the problem like the flat earth zone all right there's a twitter account warning this page is not intended for the politically correct or the weak-minded. Enter at the risk of opening your mind. I'm out. And, okay, so

let's, but am I being hoodwinked? Okay, first post is saying that a lot of astronauts are wearing wires and being spun about in space. That has nothing to do with the eclipse. I need help. Nuclear bombs don't exist. Alright, these guys have their fingers in a lot of pies.

They have their fingers in a lot of pies. They have their fingers in the pulses, baby. I guess not. They wear a carpet bomb. This is just the most recent post. Nuclear weapons don't exist. It's just another form of fear porn propaganda to keep the sheeple controlled. Sheeple. Damn it! I think I'm being

had. He said sheeple. You don't like sheeple? Maybe I'm too cynical. A little 2017. I love sheeple because not only are they being led around, but the wool has been pulled over their eyes. Yes. The only real fact about gravity is that it has never been a fact.

I don't understand gravity. I thought I did. It's one of God's mysteries. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's like they God's mysteries. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's like they explain gravity. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, things are pulled towards things with mass. Anything with mass, they're pulled towards each other.

The more mass you have, the bigger the impact. All right, cool. I get it. And then they're like, no, you don't get it. Gravity is fucking time somehow. Gravity is a fucking cloth with a planet in the middle weighing it down i don't know now it warps space time it warps the reality of i get it yeah i mean you know they they show that thing with the cloth and it makes so much time

warp time you said space time is that not yeah i mean if there's enough gravity then then um there's time dilation right like it wasn't that the issue i remember an interstellar when they go down to the planet they're like seven minutes down here's a year back home or some shit didn't understand it then either i don't know i don't i don't get how i mean i don't know how my cell phone works but that i get the got the broad strokes i did understand i think it's i forget if it's atoms or electrons but nothing moves faster than the speed of light so when you move like even if you're just traveling through space i wish i could do it as well as the video explained it but it had this atom that was

kind of going up and down on the sine wave, right? Up and down, up and down. And they're like, all right, so this thing moves at this pace while you're standing still. Cool. Now take you and accelerate it to the half the speed of light. Well, because this thing's going up and down on the sine wave, it can't, it would have to go faster than the speed of light to do that. So for you, time has slowed down because everything about the way that you're moving, the way that atoms exist in this fast-moving spacecraft going half the speed of light needs to slow down. Because otherwise, it would have to go faster than the speed of light to do the same thing it did before. It made great sense in the video. So I kind of understand that mechanic with the sine wave and everything. Just knowing that the faster you travel, the slower time passes for you is the way to look at it.

Like we have to recalibrate our satellites because they experience less time after they've been traveling around at whatever 14000 kilometers per second for long enough. Mm hmm. Man, I'm not getting any good information here. Well, maybe the eclipse is real. Yeah, it seems that way. Have you considered this, Kyle? Did you know

that the Big Dipper rotates around Polaris in such a way that it forms the swastika when viewed between spring, summer, fall, and winter? They always pervert symbols of the truth research hashtag flat earth i don't know how the nazis got drug into this guy's whole theorem but it's probably not a good time watching those nazi like the hidden nazi gold specials and he was kind of looks like serious it kind of looks like it i guess like just the way the the the cup part of the dipper is shaped i could see that i guess i saw that a line to the

middle i saw that frisbee on reddit and it looks normal enough it's like two left lines but when you flick it and it's spinning in the air it turns into a swastika did they do that on purpose or did it just turn out that way it has to be like a turned out that way or a 3d printer who has a sense of humor because i can't imagine someone's like try the new nazi fisbee they these guys are not talking too much about okay in my five seconds of research we'll be talking about this i can't find anything about the flat earth and their criticism of the solar eclipse. They are mad about not seeing different stars.

They say we would see a hundred percent different stars in winter than we would see in summer. I don't know enough about stars, so I'm going to skip this one. How do stars work? They come from trash. Well, I think he's talking about the tilt of the

Earth on its axis between winter and summer, so he thinks that it should be panning more left or right, but it's going to depend on where you are on the Earth, like whether you're near the equator or the top, like how much different the stars are. But they different yeah that's the part i'm stuck on stars they're

not completely different because the but they're shifted all the way over yeah that was my understanding as well is like you do see different parts of the sky right yeah i think that these people are imbeciles. Like, like. I still think that a good deal of them are trolling. Maybe this guy's not because this is a lot of effort to put. Trolling. And then I've talked about this before, but a good deal of them just don't believe anything without super solid proof. And they don't want to believe anything.

They're so afraid of being proved of being wrong about a thing that they they choose to be wrong about everything true it's it's absurd it's yeah it's it's like look i believe in a lot of conspiracy theories like like you know like we do that all the time there's lots of kooky shit that has happened that's clearly like they're they're after us they're doing a thing look right in front of our eyes because they know there's we can't do anything about it. But the fucking stars don't have anything to do with it, dude. This isn't Silo

where they're hiding some great truth up above us or something like that. There's stars. It seems like the solar eclipse would be a big hot topic for them. Yeah, it's a good thing. The same stuff over and over just, Oh,

water. Of course, water is level on our sphere. Water doesn't stick to a sphere. Uh, and so we're all in a bowl base. They have, they,

this guy at least pretends or maybe does believe there's a big ice wall. Obviously we've talked about the ice wall thing but he's like water stays in the middle of it because it's like a bowl but why how did but but but then what how do seasons work and how like are we just a disc in space or space as a whole is i've seen that i've seen them show a disc in space i've also shown like a flat thing i've also shown them i've seen them show like a thing that's sort of like flat on top rounded on the bottom and i've seen a bowl with edges and the edges are like ice walls and shit and someone showed i saw one recently where they show how east and west work

and it was like squiggly lines everywhere too it was it's clearly the the makers of the madman if there were ice walls that'd be incredibly popular tourist destinations and we'd fly around them and over them and check it out how tall is this ice wall that no one's ever seen? They're, they're, they're saying pretty fucking tall, like tens of thousands of feet tall, not an obstacle. No, you could, you could fly over that,

but that's why they're hiding it. Woody. They don't want us to see the currents are like near the ice wall. Woody. I'm worried about the temperature. Really? If there's ice in the ground, it's going to be super cold up there.

Yeah. You know what they call us? Globies. Globies. Yeah. I've been called worse. You're globy. Don't try to prove that the Earth is not flat. Try to prove it is a globe. It's okay. It's been done

all the time. So we've been hoodwinked by all the other planets' shapes too? No, I'm sure they're round except that the other planets are spheres. No, they're not saying that. I'm just saying my stupid scientifically ignorant mind is like, yeah, all the other planets seem to be round. So we're uniquely exempt from it. They're observably round. It seems like their thing is like none of that is real.

Like it's all... I have a telescope in my bedroom that you can see this shit. Yeah. Yes, they can too. You can just go look if you want. Oh, but have you considered this? This is the first one I've actually found about the eclipse i've scrolled back so far it's absolutely impossible to have a shadow love that love the confidence

love the confidence it is absolutely impossible to have a shadow of the moon umbra of 170 miles wide during an eclipse if the moon's diameter is 2,159 miles. All right, that guy's a fucking retard because that's like... This guy? High school geometry math. That's like some easy math when you figure out exactly why the moon perfectly covers the sun because you know the distances to both of them and the size of both of them. It's ridiculous. It's a really interesting coincidence.

If I were a creationist i'd be like look it fucking fits it's perfect yeah how does it know what the fuck he's talking about he's an ignorant globy yeah this is listen this the moon is small the sun is big you can't block it out stop it stop it with your nonsense it's coming this monday so the moon is 22 i believe it what i see it and he's he's not even disputing the like cover-up part he's just saying that the shadow isn't big enough the shadow that would be cast shadow is only 170 miles in diameter but the moon is bigger than that and well he's and us globies are fucking fools it's because of the distance between us and the moon is a quarter million miles. I hate those people with a with a fiery passion because they make other people a little more ignorant than they were before, including me sometimes.

And they'll ask a question that's so stupid that you you you get stuck like trying to disprove nonsense and go down some Wikipedia. You just have to enjoy it the same way I enjoy the Silmarillion. It's just silly. It's just content. I want you to get into war things. I want you to start listening to some of that nerdy shit

where they break down. Please don't get into it. Do you want me to get into that? Don't do it. One, you have an addictive personality for bullshit. You would love it that? Don't do it. One, so much. You have an addictive personality for bullshit. You would love it, so don't do it. It's so good, dude. You would love meth also.

Why don't you get into meth if you want to destroy your life? I don't consider fantasy lore bullshit. I consider it essential. All of the races have their own languages. You've got a really cool, easy to understand, like you've got the emperor and he has 20 sons and each of them has an attribute or two that that's like special that they got from him and each of those 20 sons has this this giant army under them of super soldiers

who also have that genetic like seed in them that that has that special trait and so each of them are very specialized and does different things so it's and that's just you know that's just the humans it's it's fascinating it's also evil everything's awful everything's dreadful suffering and evil and i want there to be an hatred someone good i mean i'm gonna have to go in team team imperium team human 100 yeah there's like one good guy but they're just kind of lame they're like for, for the good of the galaxies, like their mantra. Are they even human? No. Well, they're actually a confederation of multiple groups.

I mean, there's one in particular that's kind of the dominant one, but they'll let anyone ride with them. Unlike the humans who are like, ooh, you got too many eyes. We're going to burn your babies. If Taylor gets into this, mark my words, he will spell better in Kozolid Old Worlder than I do in English.

Now I gotta get into Kozolid Old Worlder. It would be low gothic. New Worlder? Gothic? Low gothic. Oh, that's the language. It's a dwarven language. There are also dwarves. You could get into there are also dwarves you could get into the the 40k dwarves they're called the squats

i think they live um it doesn't matter where they live but yeah it's super nerdy it's it's look there's gonna be any more lord of the rings content it's done okay it's done i don't want i don't want them i hope that amazon show continues

to fail i don't want their I hope that Amazon show continues to fail I don't want their Bullshit reimagining of Tolkien to succeed They ordered another season But I really do want Those Snyder cuts of the extended version Of Lord of the Rings I was talking to a friend of mine who's a big Big fan of the series

Today or yesterday And there are those Extra scenes that we've seen. There's the one that I was talking about with Eowyn fighting the Uruk-hai in the cave at Helm's Deep. And there's a lot more scenes like that. I think they could add another 30 minutes onto each movie and get them up to a respectable four hours each.

I'd watch the whole thing. I'd love it. And then, you know, I think there's a 4K version that i don't own yet that i i do need to purchase it probably wouldn't be you know i don't know if there'd be any like world beater scenes in there but just more fleshing out of the universe i always appreciate because i'm just such a fan of it yeah and they're not going to make any more of that um because those those people are fucking old. Aragorn's so goddamn old now. They all are. It's kind of fucking... This guy has visceral hatred for Globies.

He does not like us. He hates us. A lot of those people are definitely mentally ill. Those are so... I think they're akin to the gang-stalking people. Yeah. Which, by the way, I buy it. I don't think that account's trolling. I think they're akin to the gang stalking people. Yeah. Which by the way, this, I, I buy it. I don't think that guy's true.

That account's trolling. I think that guy, there's no way you have the time and the energy to post that much about something you don't actually believe. There's no way. It could be a bot. It could be just a bot that responds to people with, with,

you know, cutesy things and come over here. We'll fight the Globies together. And then he's going to have sense. His bots luring idiots off of Twitter to read his conspiracies. And it's just sci-fi, like fan fiction he's written. Yeah, just chat GPT fantastical nonsense about math. Yeah.

But I could. Yeah. You'd have to come up. you got to come up with a better story they're just like yeah yeah it's flatter it's like tell me why you need a whole you need a hook you need to tell me that there's a group of there should be a lot of of aliens who are doing this to us that we're that we're we've been there used to be a rounder that's what this is this is it long ago there wasn't a world yeah000 years ago, we live much as we do today, on a round earth, just like the one we're led to believe still exists.

But that earth, it hasn't existed for a long time ago. It was shattered in the alien wars, and a small sliver of it is preserved as a reminder to any who would challenge the ceruleans in the galactic empire just what would become of them we're kept here as a as a as a uh a warning to any who would betray the ceruleans leaders of the galaxy we sit here on this disc a shattered remnant of the great and proud humans see that's harder to dispute because there's so much i'm like i'm like oh shit that does sound like something we do. Yeah.

Honestly, that's all it would take to get you in. Is there like, there was a space war with all sorts of space things. Long ago. Kind of long men far too long ago to measure in any meaningful way. An unfalsifiably long time ago. That's my favorite kind of conspiracy theories or like legends or whatever that there that we used to be advanced and we lost that and got reset and, you know, started over like the I not the Atlanteans. Like, I don't care about Atlantis and all that, but like something like Atlanteans or like is it called Chariot of the Gods or whatever that Zachary Hitchens book or whatever the idea that you had aliens maybe coming down and helping

those ancient races the thing whoever built the pyramids three body problem has that you know they would advance and then their society would get wiped out they have to start over yeah yeah but I mean it's not that unbelievable that there would be huge cataclysmic failures throughout history where you lose a bunch of shit.

Especially if you have three sons burning you. How are you liking the three body problem? Did you have you delved deeper into it? I haven't finished it. I mean, it was only eight episodes, I think. Oh, I liked it. I think that I'm biased towards liking it. I really wanted to see the content.

I didn't love it. I think that I'm biased towards liking it. I really wanted to see the content. I didn't love it. My hope was that it would be that I would feel about it the way we felt about Game of Thrones at its peak. This is a source material that has the potential to be great, great, great. And it was like, well, it was good.

I want more, but I don't know. It looks like no season 2 oh based on well I mean give it some time I would think that you would wait a while to make that call

I've just read article after article shitting on the notion of season 2 they keep saying it's not pulling the numbers that they wanted it to that for something this expensive it needs to be doing better than fucking true crime. Yeah. I, I mean,

this story, I've said it a couple of times, but that story is very big. And if you look at the really successful, um, like properties at the heart of them is a little family story or love story. Even with something like Avatar or Titanic. Yeah, it's about the Titanic sinking,

but it's also about Leo getting laid. Yeah, it's about the Earth going to a foreign planet and all these special effects and the Navi and blah, blah, blah, but it's about family. Lord of the Rings. Not a family family, but it's a newly friends It's, you know, there's a little story at the beginning. Not a family family, but it's

a newly, like a friends that are like family. A fellowship. Yeah, that's what it is. With as few women as possible. Just the way I like it. I'm close, Merriam-Dock. Who's fucking

old on this? Yeah. I almost said Legolas was too cool to talk to Harry Potter. He is. He wouldn't talk to that fucking loser. They would have bullied Harry right out of the fellowship.

They would have been like, this womb of witchcraft is demonic. We need to put Gandalf out of this so fast. Gandalf, can you also make food from thin air? A plate of lembas, Fred. Harry just made a tit that fits us all in luxury, and he's made a roast in a pudding.

Oh, it's real good pudding, sir. Oh, my goodness. It sounds as though the author in charge of his existence didn't have much confidence in her own ability not to ride herself into a corner. Seems he's made a pact with the Dark Lord, boys. I'd say that, I don't know these terms, but it seems like something that a gay millennial

would like. First of all, gay millennials hate Harry Potter, okay? Because No, millennials love Harry Potter. Dude, girls my age, there's so many of them that are way too into it. Not the gay ones, because J.K. Rowling is goaded with the sauce. She's so red-pilled.

They've got some law in the UK outlawing transphobia or transphobic speak. She's just on Twitter. She's on Twitter saying, fucking arrest me and going on these rants and posting all sorts of... She is the Anthony

Cumia of trans people. She's posted like... She's not bad? Well, not bad. She'll just be like, here's another grown-ass man who raped a child in a bathroom. Look at him. Here's another example like example of like

a girl getting beaten up at judo by a by a man like the people that just like are like it's you can't draw attention to that that's fascism it's like okay so you're not disputing the police finally had a statement it is when you selectively pay attention to what's happening in the world and then paint a misleading picture. Like I see people doing it now. Crime has been down for years and we're amongst the lowest crime rates in like American history. But that fucking Proud Boys guy comes on and he's like, you know, in Yonkers, they're robbing the houses. They're breaking in.

They're taking – oh, spilled lemonade. Uh-oh. A lot of it. A lot of it. Lemon lemonade spills have skyrocketed yeah people are coming in here and knocking fucking lemonade on speakers and mic stands they're getting rid of lemonade it's all great

but if you just talk about like crime crime crime crime crime you would get the impression that like property crime or violent crime is up and it's not so to just point out maybe some not nationwide and in a lot of cities it's down so nationwide it's down most of the localities are down too i'm sure that fucking somewhere in louisiana maybe new orleans crime is up but but not generally. But to just point out where crime is happening again and again

and again gives a misleading picture. And it's done with that intent. I think she's just like a hardcore feminist who's like, these are spaces for women, biological, real women, and no one else should be allowed in there i kind of agree with that uh yeah sometimes no i think most people i would say the vast majority of people do they should have the same rights as like men do oh shit i've got like scratchy sounds no oh no i need to get a. I'll be back in a minute.

Go ahead and work on that. I love that he should have the same rights that men do. That reminded me when Biden was like, poor kids should have every opportunity that a white kid can have. They're for white kids.

There's lots of them. You know what I mean. Have no fear. This towel is covered in semen. You're using a cum towel on your computer? It's okay. Who among us hasn't reused a cum towel for something? This one's probably been in use too long.

You get halfway through your shower, dry off period, and you're like, oh, this is hard. No, I do laundry. Just kidding. i've never done that i don't do that laundry's downstairs he does it he does it i don't do it you can't prove that i saw a reddit post and it was like uh the youngest of three brothers and he said they had been sharing the same um like pocket pussy throughout their whole adolescence just like just like they're all running a train on the on the same like fake vagina he's and he's like after a while i just stopped even cleaning it out i kind of got used to just coming into a warm cum filled cum filled pocket pussy while listening to my brother's

chat in the background dude i refuse to believe that's real there's what a family of ghouls to to do that there's no way that's something like pooled their money no uh you can't is it sizzling yeah very much so but the noise gate i guess is canceling it nothing like oh do you need a headset I think it might be the um it might be the um uh

the amplifier that it's plugged into can you still hear me yeah we can hear you that sucks that's so annoying there's a lot here when I tried to sop it up off the desk i could hear it pouring off the desk i did that like two years ago on the show i tipped a water over and i destroyed my corsair keyboard had to buy another one yeah that's just that's part of gaming that's part of being a gamer part of being a podcaster you have i'm sorry is it all sticky now uh i don't does stevia get sticky

no not it's not not really i don't think yeah kyle nods yeah like glue with all the stickiness of real sugar that'd be a funny oh did you uh did you happen to watch that youtube video about that japanese swordsman that uh masashi guy or whatever his name is i hated it hated it he did oh my god it was and i'll tell you i'm glad you brought it up because i dude i got so excited jackie and i we start every night with like a couple youtube videos before we go to like netflix and then bang so i'm like jackie tonight we have another kyle recommendation but this is gonna make up for the last one this one's gonna be awesome what was the last one it was uh it was a sci-fi one and the first part was pretty good the one you told us

about but it was like a nine part story and you didn't watch the other eight. And we sat through like, it must've been an hour and a half, 120 minutes, like 110 minutes, something like that. It was pretty long for all of it. And,

uh, you know, she just like, do we have to listen to it? The first two or three were good. You got the battle in the aftermath of the battle and then it was like the queen starts thinking and making stuff and i was like i don't care anymore yeah and i consider it a writing mistake like if you're gonna make up names for

like a new race yeah for one of them to be like the clavakians and the other to be the clatontians or something like that's just i got a little mixed up somewhere during the storytelling yeah and then like a race had to change the name of the race and the planet and it was like this is harder to follow now thanks for that fair but um yeah we listened to the swordsman one too and we are both emotionally poor for having heard it so for those that are curious it is the story there's a japanese swordsman named musashi miyamoto and he's kind of regarded as the greatest swordsman um of all time in japan and he um i don't remember what his record was obviously it was and oh but he was like at the time there were if you were if

you had a duel with someone there'd be an audience you know he especially over time he became so famous that there were audiences and scribes kind of keeping score and making sure there's no funny business and he somehow like killed dozens of men in single combat and it wasn't just some random guy on the field because i often think that it's like a knight on the field on his horse with his quarter million and adjusted uh pounds armor is just pub stomping guys with rakes you know like he can he can just can kill 30 a day but this guy's facing off against some of the considered the greatest swordsmen also his competitors and the one story i sent while i'll admit isn't a great story and it kind of gets to the point right away i thought it was cool as shit that supposedly he met what was to be his greatest challenger.

And he employed multiple sort of techniques to make the other guy mad at him, including not bringing a sword. He showed up to a sword duel with a boat paddle and he won. He beat the other guy to death with a boat paddle. And I don't know, something about that was hilarious to me. I watched some old Japanese movie today that depicts that scene it was awful the scene it was awful plus there were no subtitles um and and but but what i really didn't like is in the story they say that he just like beat him like pummeled him so there was gore but in the in the in the movie he just sort of like hits him once and that just kills the guy.

It's one of those where he doesn't know he's dead yet until the blood starts trickling down. Come on, you hit him with a boat paddle. It's not like you hit him with a sword so sharp you can't feel it. I don't know. I just thought that was neat, but I'll admit the telling of the story and the story itself weren't dynamite.

Yeah, it wasn't our cup of tea. The next one we're going to love. I'll go back to the drawing board. I'll try to come back with something good. It's okay. I give her tons of shows that she doesn't want to see. I've been watching sailing videos lately. That's the other thing I was thinking about. I have two recommendations for your show before

we go to your sailing video, though, if you want. One of them will be The Great. It's just the great it's about catherine the great it's real cutesy it's the true story the historical story of catherine the great of russia and how she started off as just this woman who was married to the the prince or the king or whatever the czar and just treated like baggage or like a sex slave or something and she ended up being the czar S or whatever of Russia. And it's,

it's funny. It's cutesy. It's comedic and it's a little silly and farcical at times. And they're wearing the P there. It looks amazing. It's like, it's, it looks like a period drama.

So they're in those fantastic castles and the riding horses and they're all wearing the period, correct costumes. That's really good. And, um, Oh shit. There was another one that I wanted to recommend. riding horses and they're all wearing the period correct costumes. That's really good. And oh shit, there was another one that I wanted to recommend. Fuck.

This room, I think the cum smell has been activated by the lemonade. It's a little dusky in here. That's the third worst thing I've heard today. I might retire this towel from the rotation. It should be. Maybe throw that in the hamper. Oh, sure. Put this all behind me.

Hot load in his virgin ears. Yeah. What were you going to say about the sailing or boat video? Oh, yeah, yeah. If I don't go see the eclipse this weekend, I think I'm going to try and go learn to to sail i've been on a kick about that lately i don't have intentions of like really sailing open ocean but in my head i was about ready to buy a 14 foot hobie cat and they're like the hobie cat wave for the one percent of you that

know your boats and uh i was like you know you should probably take a lesson like maybe pick the brain of someone who sailed before instead of just going out and buying a boat and self-learning so i might do that soon yeah that that that will be fun um i have only sailed twice i think but i thoroughly enjoyed it um just running the ropes or being on the wheel whichever you're doing um is is or is is fun and it's uh an athletic venture if you're trying to be quick about it like if you're lackadaisically out in open water but i was sailing up and down a river and trying to trying to beat another boat to a bridge so hustling around on those sails it's fun you had a much bigger boat

how big was your boat do you remember what it was i don't remember but around 30 feet i think zach can you pull up a picture of a hobie cat wave might be a hobie wave it's a 14 foot boat this thing weighs like 350 pounds you know you could oh muscle it yourself like from this grass to the water i bet i know what this is going to look like yeah there you go yeah so i thought something like that might be fun to get started on oh for sure that looks super sporty that's neat one sail if it flips over my boat had a diesel engine this is yeah yeah right one man can write this if you tip it over and uh they were real popular in ocean city the 16 and 18 foot ones, not the 14. Yeah. It seemed like something to play with. That looks pretty fun.

Would you put it on the lake? Yeah, there's two lakes around here. That'd be where I start. I don't know where it's even going to go. Probably nowhere. I get seasick, so I can't imagine me actually enjoying sailing from North Carolina to the Caribbean. That'd just be torture.

Would you be seasick if you were in charge of it though? Like you were deciding movements? Yeah. And I've never been in charge of it. I'm not seasick when I tow my friends, you know, with the power, but a ski boat,

but who gets seasick on a lake? I don't know. That's true. I don't know. I've never sailed. I was on a, my, I got my dad's friend's sailboat very briefly.

And it was like, even my memory as a kid is it was not a very big boat. And so. Yeah, yeah. I saw it as an adult. You'd be like. Yeah, it's like, I can't even fit in this thing anymore. Yeah, probably a good way to stay in shape if you're wealthy. Or just a good way to like be outside i don't know like sometimes you need a good excuse to get some if you're wealthy you're not running the ropes you've got a team that runs the ropes and you've run the wheel yeah okay fair or even used or maybe you're a captain sitting there and you're like yes faster

yeah that boat used is two thousand dollars and there's no compass there's no gps there's no water maker there's no diesel engine i i know boat stands for bust out another thousand but how expensive can a fucking obi-cat get like bottom that bitch out rip that there if that bottom rip this skag out you're out uh i'm guessing 200 bucks something like that it can't be yeah that's a that's a crazy bare bones uh boat that's just for zipping around and experiencing sailing i guess kyle you're like halfway to a sled dog team yeah this is good thinking i mean murphy's not gonna pull his weight but he can kind of be the other dog's mascot you'll need a lot more snow yeah yeah you move to minnesota or something minnesota i know that you love that weather i don't think you are you thinking of moving i i think is this

a private oh i don't know yeah a little bit oh i don't know um i i i really just don't care like i just don't care like Like, I just don't care. Like, it's the same difference either way. I'll see if that thing I was talking about happens, and maybe I'll move out west somewhere and do something there. But I know for sure if Georgia outlaws the hemp-derived stuff from the farm bill, you know, the Delta-8 and THca and all that shit then i will move like real quick real quick yeah that'll get the fire lit under you yeah you know i i would see what

my girlfriend wanted to do um she'd have a voice in it i suppose not too loud of a voice though yeah no it goes you toby the mailman, Murphy. Yeah. I told her the other day, I'm like, if anything ever happens to me, Toby goes to Taylor. Take good care of old Toby. You are not giving this dog to Taylor. I'm like, he knows. He's coming to get it.

He has power of attorney over Toby. I have power of attorney and a gun. I can't be stopped. Try and hold on toby he's coming to get to it was his wish it's like he was joking on your show shop i'm leaving with that dog oh speaking of worthless thing i saw are we talking the other wordless thing, was it women or dogs? It's women. Yeah. It's women. I saw four NYPD cops, including a sergeant, go into this guy's apartment earlier, and they're taking him to jail for domestic battery. He beat up a girl.

They're here to get him. And they don't tell him that until there's two of them in his apartment and two of them in the hall, and he's in the middle. And he's like, you know, give me a minute like he's clearly not wanting to be part of this and then they grab him and we start wrestling and shit's falling everywhere and immediately he's a proven fighter right away he gets one of the cops guns right away he's got a cop's gun and And the cop goes, he's got my gun! And so both of the lady cops run away. That's probably a smart move. He's got a gun.

Both of the lady cops run into the hallway and abandon. It was just last week. Kyle was like, you can't try that shit in America. American cops don't back down. Remember that conversation? I don't remember specifically what I was referring to, but I mean man cops. Because the two man cops are on this dude like fucking glue. They're on his, they're whooping his ass.

One of them has his hands on the gun, trying to keep it pointed the right way. And it's going off. Bang, bang. And somebody's getting hit. You can hear, you know, when you're fighting pointed the right way. And it's going off. Bang! Bang! And somebody's getting hit. You can hear, you know, when you're fighting with body cams on, it's a mess of what you're seeing. You're getting sort of flashes and you can kind of tell what's happening until they go to the ladies' body cams.

Then you get this nice, stable panoramic view. Actually, I could get a little closer to the action. Maybe we could see what was going on. Do it, Danny! Woody, they are two men fighting a third on the floor for their fucking lives one's trying to wrestle the gun away the other's trying to like do whatever he can to to keep everybody alive any it's life or death one lady all over her radio she's letting folks know that hey 20 minutes from now y'all need to know there's gonna be dead people so like she's talking to people who are miles away for some reason about

something that's happening right fucking now only a woman a stupid one would do something like this because all of us here know that we need to get in the fucking pile right fucking now. I'm going to get his butthole or something. I'm going to get a testicle, and Taylor's going to start breaking his fingers. I'm going to test his oil with my fingers. If I was King, three people on the dude, one guy on the radio. She's been on the radio for too long. She's telling a story

she's like he's got brown eyes nike shoes i think that's a is that a buffalo phil's jersey sir you know phil's jersey this is jess baby okay his interests include he's kind of charming his interests include beating my ass and scaring me. She's not the worst. She's not the worst, because the fattest lady cop, who was the furthest down the hall from the fight, really got out of there like she'd seen a rat, peeks back in, pushes the door open,

and goes, bang! And just shoots into the pile of bodies, and then runs away again. One shot, three kills. She didn she did anything the bad guy ended up shot like twice i think i think the cops were beat up and fucked up from glass and stuff like that i think that's how it ended they not only anybody died but it was a miracle and if those ladies hadn't been there it had gone so much more fucking smoothly god if i was a cop and they made a like a real cop not some fucking pull you over for a dui if i was a real fucking cop and they made a lady or or just or just an incompetent pussy anybody who can't do their fucking job and back me up i would i would have to quit i would i would

volunteer for some other shit. More big, giant fat guy or woman. Let me tell you why I'm okay with a big fat guy. Literally in my local police... Did you see cover during gunfights? Yeah. Maybe. I know a big giant fat cop.

Nice enough guy. He arrested me. He let me smoke cigarettes in his car while I was waiting on the warrant. Shamu took good care of you. He's over there. He's like, can I have one of the Marlboro Latch? Oh, you can have the whole pack, Kyle. You know, they're not going to have those where you're going.

That was very much implied. But he's a big boy. I'm going to say 300s. Maybe 350 because he's a big boy i'm gonna say three three hundreds three hundreds maybe 350 because he's tall too and and you know we were shooting the shit one time because he didn't always arrest me sometimes we were just talking about like being normal people uh in a prior conversation that when i'd known him and and he was like oh there was this one guy and he was just going crazy he

was on something and we couldn't hold him down we couldn guy and he was just going crazy he was on something and we couldn't hold him down we couldn't get his hands to handcuff him i don't use the guy's real name but but davy davy came in there and sat on it and that was that he didn't move a bit after that he was stuck under davy davy said you let me know when you want me to get up. It didn't take long. All right. Well, Officer Davey seems like a good cop. Like having that much weight to just be applied somewhere is honestly something

I could appreciate in a partner. Now, he's not going to be quick on the feet, but how often do you chase somebody like it's TV, right? Kyle's next partner is Lizzo. I quit. I'd have to quit. She's a good sitter. i bet she sits with the best

of them i bet she sits all the time i bet she could do some sort of like stripper ass slam move on them for real and it would it would fuck you up yeah she's a big fatty so that yeah that's the only requirement for that is to be big and fat no i'd much rather have an obese man as my partner i just want somebody who's not a pussy who can throw a punch or at least take one and is ready to go and can operate that handgun. Well, you don't need to be John Wick,

but you should be able to reload that thing at a moment's notice. You should be able to clear a jam and you should be able to put bullets on target at a moment's notice. That's a scary fucking job. I can't imagine doing it. I'd be so worried about getting shot by the other cops i and when i watch those police videos i'm usually much more afraid of the other cops than if i'm

putting myself in the guy who's wearing the camera i'm in his shoes now i'm on board with him he's my player and i'm like man those cop whoa that bitch over there's pointing at you dude move oh circle out circle out because there's so many like crossfires and people are getting so like nobody cares about their muzzles everybody's pointing rifles at each other and then they shoot and it's like dude we're all skipping bullets off this guy laying on the ground who's been dead and it's like why are you still shooting at me like there's bullets bouncing over my head people that often kyle that's what it feels like i want there's a great video today that's making the rounds of the cops pulling the guy over for suspected dui and then they open a bottle of vodka

pour it out throw it in his car and arrest him for open container. What? You see them do it? The whole thing. They weren't even sly? No, the whole thing. Wow. That's insane. The punishment for that should be really big. The public has entrusted these policemen and put them in a position of authority where they can really make a difference in people's lives and for them to betray our trust on that level like that is

that's outrageous to frame people for crimes yeah they i mean shit 10 i really like those first those uh first amendment auditor auditor guys who go and like do i think some people don't like it i think they see it as a shitty thing to do but i love it because they watch audit the auditor yeah i like him too he sort of gives like legal overlay a little dry but i learn a lot same yeah i don't mind the dryness because it's it's interesting to i don't know to hear yeah especially i like all the stuff that involves lawyers giving you points of view. Often it comes down to, well,

can they do this? Eh, sometimes. I don't need ambiguous, bro. And it's like, well, the law is ambiguous. That's the thing. Most of the time, it's like, no, they can't do that. But you're going to need to file a suit if you want anything done about it. That's why I like that one guy who sues them and gets those six-figure judgments i really

like that shit i like him antagonizing cops i like him antagonizing business owners uh he pepper sprays a lot which frankly i enjoy he'll go outside like a construction yard and start just recording and and every time a car goes by he'll'll go 6, 7, 8, 3, alpha. It's literally a car who came in to turn around. It has nothing to do with any... The construction workers are like, yo, what are you doing here? He's just like, none of your fucking

business. He's looking for trouble. You can't bees here on this. Yeah, I can. I can be where I want. I'm recording. I'm documenting.

It doesn't matter what I'm doing. Doesn't matter what I'm doing. Operation construction site bomb is underway. And so he's got his pepper spray on him. He's ready to rock and roll. And as soon as they come after roll and as soon as they come after him as soon as they get aggressive they lay hands on him he doesn't care who it is old man old women what he gives it he calls it smurfing them because he uses the pepper spray that's got

the blue dye in it so his videos will be like cocky construction worker gets smurfed so he's like he's not even bothering cops he's just bothering a guy who's like trying to move pails of concrete well he bothers them so the cops will show up and overstep because because you get and that's what happens he ended up getting arrested for that even though like the guy's chasing him down the street like like this like trying to get him he's running backwards like leave me alone bro holding his camera gear and this guy's chasing him like sort of clawing at air trying to catch him and he gives him a little squirt and that's it that's it pepper spray so rough yeah i've never seen anyone just shrug off pepper spray. Yeah. You can act like it doesn't hurt, but you can't keep going on your mission.

Your mission's over. Now your mission is find a bottle of water. It's funny you said that. It was this late night TV show, and there was a dude in a black leather jacket, which matters. And they tased him. They got him through the jacket jacket and while he was being tased he had no fight in him but the second the taser turns off he was a hundred percent like there was no lasting effect and then they pepper sprayed him and he was done done done he didn't

want anything to do with anything except like water in his eyes. He just had to address that problem. And it was like, I see the difference. I get it. Yeah, it's a real attitude adjustment. That's how I would put it. If you've ever been hit in the face, you notice how that gets your attention real quick? You can go both ways. I'm sorry.

I mean, it can activate fight or flight. And sometimes I can imagine someone who gets more aggressive because of a taser, but not a spray. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Often I see. The taser misses. So sometimes they'll use a taser and they'll dry tase people just using it as a stun gun, essentially, like where they have to make contact when they don't want to give them their hands and they'll or when they don't want to get out of a car and if you're gonna do that you really need to be in a position of physical dominance or or at least potential physical dominance meaning

i can do this and even if you like try to lurch at me fuck you because you're a little person and i'm a big person but i see like women be like i'm gonna tase you and the guy's like fuck you because you're a little person and I'm a big person. I see women be like, I'm going to tase you. The guy's like, fuck you and takes their shit away and kills their partner. I've seen so many videos like that. Whenever they're trying to get a person's hands, that taser seems to do the trick.

They'll put that thing in the middle of their back like a big chain of muscles on your back and give them a they give them their hand they give them their hand after that that shit fucking hurts I uh when I was young a friend of mine became a cop

and he went to like police academy he was showing me how they teach protesters to stand up and uh you can even do it to yourself but they they hold them right here behind the ears and they lift them by that like hole in your skull behind the ears it's a pressure point and uh i was like really like can't you just ignore a pressure point and then he did it to me and i stood right up i wanted nothing to do with how hard he was pressing into my

below my ears yeah i wouldn't either that would upset me i would i wouldn't no i've never been to a protest ever come close not even not even one percent no i've never thought about going yeah i i haven't either i remember when the wall street stuff was happening um thinking it would be fun to like yeah i was in in college I remember people like doing their little I was dating a girl in college yeah there we go we were both connected we were both in the dorms

yeah I remember that everybody was very displeased with bankers and financial institutions fair enough and I was with this girl that was so fucking red billed we i would pick her up at uh at her school and we go

out and get something to eat and i remember talking about those people being like i hate those people i wish they'd hit them with a fire hose or something and she'd go on some like conservative like economics uh rant because she's you know taking fucking economics at Oglethorpe. It was beautiful. Love that shit. We could hate together against the common. That's always fun when you find somebody you can hate other people with. They have common hates.

That's what love is made of. Romantic relationships are 99.9% friendships. You're not banging all the time. You just need someone who you enjoy spending time with like doing all the stuff yeah so i i thought you were gonna say that the girl you were dating was a like hippie dippy kind of chick and you had to you know you were kind of an odd couple now that you had to drag her towards reality no the opposite i've definitely dated some like real hippie dippy chicks before um never so bad where they like had armpit hair or didn't use real deodorant

yeah because that that's the far hippie side when they stop shaving and start going to some sort of deodorant that doesn't work like any kind of deodorant that doesn't have that aluminum like take the cancer dude you stink aluminum powder is what does it uh yeah that's what yeah you're probably not aluminum powder it's probably like aluminum and then some other chemically name but it's supposed to be bad for you because it leaches through your skin into your i always wrote it off as just magic. Nope. It's heavy metals you're introducing into your body. Oh. Yeah.

It's better than stinking. It depends how bad you stink. You've been to PAX. Yeah, I think they should have chem trailed that whole area with aluminum a little indoor drone that crop dusts everyone with deodorant would be great that could be good yeah people who that was baffling going to pax and being like oh this is like

not a joke meme kind of thing like some of these people are genuinely so stinky not some of them oh some of them i don't remember so many rooms you'd walk through like hot shot areas like i experienced that when i went to gen con 2006 and i first tried magic the gathering a lot of hot pockets throughout that it was not a hot pocket in boston i'm telling you so at the boston convention when at PAX East, when you go down these escalators to the ground floor, the main the main like area and it's big and there's probably 3000 people walking a fucking around. You descend into this stink cloud. Like BO is heavier than air. It's actually it's actually humid yeah it's yeah i have a theory about it like i'm being too forgiving but maybe these are just people who are

14 or 15 and while it is outrageous to not wear deodorant as an adult if you're at that age where you first start wearing deodorant which like 11 for taylor yeah then yeah maybe they're just not on board yet like i i wore deodorant probably before i needed it but kids in my high school there were a few that didn't get on till after they needed it yeah some of them were adults it was adults though you know it was expensive to get in there it was the middle of the day and shit like everybody in there was like 20 years old or so and they just stunk it's that group of people it's like internet fucking nerds uh don't have can you believe internet nerds those people yeah i mean i'm a fucking internet nerd but i've been

wearing like i can get that deodorant going like i swear to god people with bad hygiene that's that's just the basic shit man you should not be exposing people to your stink yeah it's very polite but more importantly it's gonna prevent you from getting pussy there are some easy ways to increase your like one to ten scale and deodorant is amongst the first things you hit yeah yeah but that's like saying me passing the cardio test is keeping me away from being an astronaut like there's so many things between some of those stinky guys and pussy that like they're not a speed stick one step at a time yeah i disagree right're just, I would argue that the stinky guy actually has pussy available, just not one that he'd want.

So what he's doing is he's moving himself up the tree. Yeah, especially in that group. Yeah, you start looking a lot better when you take care of basic stuff. If you stink, though, like I'm not even going to have a conversation with you to find out if your personality is okay. I'm not going to find out if we have similar interests. I'm not going to care where you live and you're just down the way. None of that will matter because I'm going to get out of this conversation. There were so many people I would meet at those cons who were just offensive. And when they'd walk away, we'd all have a big laugh about it.

That's the other thing. You're constantly getting laughed at behind your back if you stink like that. There were creators that st like that there were there were creators that stunk i remember there were guys there were creators that stunk i don't remember exactly who um white boy name name oh there's one that people taught i didn't even meet him in person i don't think but people talked about if you wrote his name i'd be like yeah that's it because i can't i can't think of it right now but i can't sure but there was a stinker and it's like a bad one like this guy this guy's shown up to the first day of this con where he's gonna meet us all and like he hasn't bathed in days and days and days he clearly stinks i think it was that guy yeah yeah because

he wasn't he was actually like a nobody who had some money who was like giving money i think to some creators and kind of like sidling in if that makes sense that's the way i remember that guy now i think he i think he was that kind of fellow but he smelled awful i do remember that and i remember as soon as he walked away we were all like did you smell that motherfucker that was him i thought it was you oh that's what it was the first time i met white boy in person ever i've heard this yeah that guy was also there and met white boy in person ever, I've heard this. Yeah. That guy was also there. And so white boy thinks that I stink. Cause like the three of us like coalesce at the same time,

white boy blames me and I blame him for the stink. Neither one of us realizing it's just, it's just third party. And so we both think the other is like a smelly, nasty motherfucker. And we keep believing that until like maybe later that night or a day or two later when we were like somebody was like mentioned hey do you smell like dude over there and i was like it was it was him oh and we like had this huge moment of like realization where

we both thought the other had stunk or something you brush your teeth ah me too. We've got so much in common. Multiple times a week. Did you already shower today? Yeah, twice. What? You've got more than one pair of pants. That's what you're telling me right now. What, I'm like rain pants or something?

Well, these are four pairs of pants. Seasonal. Yeah, it is offensive like rain pants or something like well these are four pairs of pants seasonal yeah it is offensive to be around someone who has bad bo like like if it's a non-bo thing if i'm like playing hockey or i've been outside and like doing yard work or something how hot would a girl stink like how hot would a girl have to be for you to tolerate it from the first meeting and you know how it'd be this should be a seinfeld episode that at first you would think like like blame it on something else maybe she played tennis right before yeah oh the shower was out yeah you'd have to be very attractive for me to be interested in a girl who has

oh i don't even know because i would be embarrassed to take her around my friends because then we're gonna be the stinky couple you guys are making a huge mistake yeah what my high school girlfriend was a fixer-upper when i met her she had braces and she had just she was making brownies at home and it singed her hair right so she that's when i locked her in fucking woody right by low by low two months later she's like the hottest girl in my whole fucking high school and she's my girlfriend and it's like yeah yeah you got to get a fixer-upper look what i did look what i got here on my arm did you have the hair grew back did you neg her like the pickup artist i was like before negging or anything yeah you look pretty tonight you stinky pig

nah someone told me she liked me and i saw her and i was like that'll do and i saw like, that'll do. And I saw the potential. That'll do pig. Jesus Christ. That'll do pig. I really have a zero tolerance policy for BO. I don't understand it. I think that, honestly, we were talking about that

white trash thing earlier. I think it's a real good indicator of that. It's an indicator I share your concern. If a girl was great in lots of ways but she needed to someone to whisper about deodorant in her ear oh that's not it she knows i'll work through that no no this is either a girl who refuses to put it on for health reasons or what i keep she's one of those chicks that that apparently are in every

comment section of reddit who who are just like my way of the highway if you don't like hairy legs then he don't like me like i i feel like hairy leg girl also probably smells a little because she's using that all natural deodorant if anything she's putting rose water on her asshole yeah disgusting on reddit do you ever go to relationship advice? It's one of my favorite subreddits. Not on purpose, but I catch some posts. Let's see what retardation they've got going on. It's called relationship advice. I guarantee you, like 80% of the advice is break up or divorce this person.

And it will be like... Oh, it says banned. There you go. Wait, banned? It says this subreddit was banned due to being unmoderated just relationship advice um no it's here there's an underscore maybe ah there's an underscore okay this one is here sorry continue i need to find something uh It's just a frustration I have. I don't think it's a great story, but they always suggest breaking up with the person.

And they can be like married with four kids and the husband will, I don't know, say, hey, I think you need to lose some weight. They're like, get rid of them, girl. You deserve better. It's like, ah, let me see your picture. I want to see. The most recent one I do. My friend, 18 male, let me see your picture. I want to see. The most recent one I've seen. My friend, 18 male, called me a monkey. He's white and I'm not.

How do I handle this aftermath? So is it just people making up nonsense? Yeah, that one sounds a little wild. I don't know. If he called her a monkey and he likes her, I need to know about this tone like where his head is son of a monkey yeah right to me that's uh it's a terrible thing to say but we tell jokes you know i don't know i need to yeah context and like what was going on uh my favorite one

that i read recently she's asian just don't know me play joe i just i just see like left-wing people refusing to see like reality sometimes or like choosing to believe that something i don't even all right so i saw one recently um it turned out that kyle rittenhouse tried to join the marine corps and he was not only he fail, but he was told he couldn't try again because his intelligence is so low. And they're all laughing at it. Is it true? Yeah. And so the comments of that are nothing but people saying, ho, ho, the Marines have a minimum intelligence?

They love that. We're going to shit on the military all day long in the comments for some reason. And then the other ones are making fun of Kyle Rittenhouse for being too stupid and too fat to be in the Army. And it's like, wait a minute. You're admitting that he's special ed, that he's not of normal intelligence, and that when he was like barely of age he

took a gun that somebody else bought for him to the neighboring county and then was attacked by a pedophile and a gun wielding criminal. Two pedophiles I think. And he defended himself. Who's mad and why? That's what I want to know. I get that you hate the people who

prop him up and platform him or the people who make him their like spokesman i bet you don't like that maybe he's like selling whatever he's selling but remember he can't get a fucking job anywhere because of what happened and to by your own admission he's so stupid and fat that they told him never come back at the army recruitment. Like on one hand you're saying that's really dumb to get turned down

from the Marines you said not the army. I think he tried for both. The things that he tried for both. Is it called the ASFAB or something? Marines are known for being dumb. It's like a meme i would imagine it's called the ass fab or something is that marines are known for being dumb it's like a meme yeah but it's like a it's like a tongue-in-cheek thing i think like you can't actually be like a retard all right we're on the same team there i do think there's maybe a culture in the marines where they oh yeah they play it up and they're like oh we're just dumb jar heads we don't even get the best equipment like this goofing off like which is true second part is pretty true yeah yeah they get terrible

equipment but yeah you just you just got to get off reddit man if you're reading all this all this nonsense oh it's great just go to youtube and watch build orders i have a special frustration with i guess i'll say Democrats to categorize, who make the rest of the Democrats look bad. If you're there arguing that that swimmer dude can join the women's team and just be a national champion, get off my team. You're making us all look worse. Yeah, I don't get that.

That shit's so absurd. And it's a weird issue. It's definitely not just a binary decision it's it's it's not just like go to this bathroom or go to that bathroom there probably needs a different be a different bathroom and i don't know that that works necessarily when you're talking about a different league because there it is such a tiny tiny percentage of the population that you can't put a team together. There's not going to be a trans baseball team.

You can't field one. You know what I mean? Do you think it's an easy decision, Taylor? Finster said he wasn't sure what bathroom to use. I put him in the girls because he passes so well. Yeah, I'd still say go to the men's. Whatever your genitals are say go to the men's. Like, whatever your genitals are, like, go

to that one. It's pretty easy. Do it the way we've done it for... I was pretty influenced by the fact that women have private stalls. Right? So you can just go in there, do his business, and nobody knows a thing. Everybody thinks he's just another girl. Well, people can tell.

Like, you, like... Finster? Yeah. I mean, Finster probably passes better than, like, 100% of them. But, like, women can still tell. And if you just can't prioritize the comfort of such a niche group over all of women. Like... There's so many ugly women.

If you talk to a girl about this and she's not being recorded or like is just talking to you privately they'll be like yeah i'm not comfortable with that that's my experience at least yeah i really i place her her being finster in the uh in the women's bathroom because i feel like it causes less disruption you're gonna get me's in there you're gonna get guys with beards and who are just wearing a tutu that's where it's hard right like i specifically mentioned finster because she passes so well trans taylor well just go to the bathroom with me it shouldn't if i'm wearing a dress and i like it shouldn't be my right to barge in there and make everyone uncomfortable.

That's ridiculous. Oh, yeah, yeah. Can you show Buck Angel for anyone who doesn't know what he looks like? He's saying that you're not allowed to wear costumes in the bathroom anymore, Taylor. What do we do on Halloween? Well, I can still dress up like fucking a pirate, but I can't do it in the women's room. I love that. This person has a vagina right i would

still send i don't know does he go by him whatever yeah he'll send this person he goes by him i would still i don't care if he does or not i'm gonna call him him all right he belongs in the men's room to me yeah he's gonna have to i hope he has to go to one of the ones like at the racetrack. Well, this is just unbelievably convincing. Yeah, I'm going to drag race. Have you seen Buck Angel before? We've talked about him. I wasn't sure if you saw him naked or anything, but yeah. We've seen that pussy.

I've seen it. Kyle's shown me on like four occasions. It tastes funny, but it looks real. It's my screensaver. Yeah. it tastes funny but it looks real it's my screensaver yeah um some of these relationship advices are just so embarrassing to read how to handle my girlfriend 26f telling me she thinks i'm 28m unmanly and submissive my girlfriend told me that she's been comparing me with her toxic ex and finds that i'm much more gentle and nice

but she finds that unattractive because i lack dominance and play it safe she wants someone who is a quote real man and can make her feel like a quote real woman like her quote a lot of quotes here alpha x she also said she thinks i would just follow the crowd and not stand up for her when i asked why she pointed to a time i suggested that she politely and calmly manage a situation with her boss given she is a junior rather than a cause then cause a ruckus over at work over things outside her control she says she thinks i am unmanly and make her feel like a man because i express my emotions and lack some traditional masculine traits she pointed to the fact that in the bedroom i ask for consent too much before a new sexual act rather than just do it and that she therefore feels i am too and she wants dominance from a

man he's losing us she said she lost me a while ago i can't do something oh this whole thing is fucking embarrassing i do something i wanted without asking first and therefore i am unmanly well i appreciate her honesty i am really hurt by all this and I'm wondering what should I do next? Is this a sign that I should work on aspects of myself? I'm confused because I feel like I'm responding to new social norms about how men should behave and I'm receiving this pushback. My girlfriend doesn't think I'm a man and that I don't take charge and so let me come to the gayest most consensus-based forum online and ask a bunch of fucking losers for their opinion. I hope she breaks up with him and goes back to her toxic ex, this fucking loser.

No, I'm on the other side. He already did. I think this guy should slap her to show her what a man he is. Oh, you think I'm weak? Does this feel weak? I've shown her my Funko Pop collection. What the fuck is that? But all she did was leave the house and then call me while on facetime

sucking your ex's dick choker bender over give her what she needs imagine posting that like can you imagine being so embarrassing and weak that like your response to being called out by your girlfriend like that isn't just an intrinsic like change it's like oh i need to go ask redditors i need to go ask people who hang out on the relationship advice reddit hey hey hey hey great people you're a married man with children you are exempt from this this guy's a fucking goon i don't like him no i don't like that at all. No, I hate that. I hope that's not a real person. That's my issue is whenever I read stuff like that, I don't feel like

they're real. One of my least favorite subreddits I hate it is Peter Explain the Joke. You hate it. It's nothing but bait. It's nothing but fucking chum. That's what it should be called It's nothing but fucking chum.

That's what it should be called. It should be called chum. It should be called, let me ask a stupid leading question. Like, hey, why is this picture of a pantalooned black person pulling a cotton cart racist? Is this offensive? I don't understand. Why?

Why are pantaloons offensive? And then you get to like watch the fucking like comments devolve into people explaining why like actual racism is racist and that's just one example it's it's almost always i've never seen anything there that was difficult to understand it should be called i'm 12 and i don't get it it's there's there's no there's no jokes that need explaining is the problem they're just troll bait they're chum yeah a lot of this is probably just troll bait because all of it that can't be real there's no one that pathetic any any subreddit that involves teenagers or gen z or them talking about things like like now they have an issue with them in general but just their subreddits that are

about being that you know what I mean those are awful I've blocked and muted all of those and they keep sending me stupid shit anyway Reddit thinks I'm Indian now dots not feathers and so I get all this cricket shit and all this it's like in

Indian like whatever their language is called probably Indian but like in that weird script that and and all sorts of horse shit reddit's awful it's that reddit is so awful i'm glad their stock is is plummeting are they i think it's the user base that makes it so terrible a lot of the user base well it depends where you go taylor because if you if you look for things that are in your wheelhouse like i guarantee you you love the hockey because if you if you look for things that are in your wheelhouse like i guarantee you you love the hockey subreddit and i and i bet that i don't the hockey subreddit sucks really it's a bunch of reddit losers who like most of them have clearly

never played hockey and something they were the ones who were like banning everything about that one dude kicking someone to death because they're like this is all just racism and we won't abide it and it's like oh so we can't watch a video of a guy kicking another player because and saying what it is because he's black and because all these mod losers like can't can't see a black person doing something wrong and just look at it objectively that's crazy yeah they're usually i have no idea he was playing in the english league and so it's not like the nhl was in the cards anyway for the kicker but yeah it's it's i mean uh even like more niche reddits i go to like the age of empires 2

one like so often i just i just want it to be like strategies like strategy discussion civ comparisons like unit comparisons hey what about this composition hey i'm trying to use this unit what backup unit should i use and it's like overwhelmingly unfunny memes that's all true however in the areas in the arenas of pornography and uh uh, in like a not safe work videos in general, it excels. And, and those commenters are fucking based. All right.

They, they, they've got a good sense of humor. There's no nonsense. Uh, in those instances, I think Reddit really shines, but you're right.

When I go to like a game I like and start going to those subreddits like Tarkov or hell divers, I quickly realized that these people know less than me. Like of the time like when I read it's like how many hours Do y'all have how old are you people? I feel like I'm I think I'm older and more experienced than anyone here at this game that I came here to learn about Like yeah, y'all gotta you also be asking me questions because like I'm seeing they don't know what they're talking about I see people talking who don't know what they're talking about like like completely saying facts wrong about mechanics and games and shit like that so youtube is like i just spend way more time on

youtube youtube yeah it's interesting to see youtube's kind of right wing like like when i go to i was reading the comments of that video of the cops like throwing the vodka bottle into the into the guy's car or whatever and everybody's like reasonable and like agreeable and kind of on the same team like what the fuck he's betrayed his oath he like like like like you know like people like oh people like this should hang you know that's kind of the consensus over on youtube but i feel like on reddit they'd be like, first of all, that officer, we don't know. Maybe they've had some PTSD. I don't think Reddit would defend

a cop. Social scientists here. They're a little left. Maybe not. Not a little left. Reddit's a lot left. Yeah, it's super left. I'm surprised you didn't go to the riots when they were happening in your hometown down there, or in St. Louis, I should say. I remember when that was going down, and me and

shiz were like super into watching those riots that we found them to be shit like when ferguson was going down fergus when they were burning years ago yeah yeah when they were burning shit down like like like whole blocks were burning like like restaurants all sorts of crazy shit they were taking over streets they were marching they were they did that in 2022 during like the elm summer they did a lot of that sort of george floyd stuff and uh and i think i would have went if i were you i think you know no i want nothing i don't i don't want to go to hang out with a bunch of people acting rowdy and breaking things have you ever seen the video these uh these fucking losers these white kids are in

there like nice ass second or third floor apartment lots of glass windows and the marches are happening right outside and they're like yeah brothers we're with you and one of these dudes on the street goes either shoots the glass out or throws a rock through it i can't remember which i remembered it being i think i've seen that video and that it's a rock. They throw a rock. That's what it is. Yeah. Those embarrassing idiots. He goes, we're on your side.

Yeah, we're on your side. And it's like, no, you're not. You don't get it yet, dummy. There's nothing I hate worse than a misguided ally who's convinced themselves that the world is a thing that it's not. Zach, can you open this picture? Oh, is this the...

It's a Peter Explains the Joke. Kyle was actually... Actually, I hate it when I say that because it makes it sound like it's uncommon. Kyle was more right than I thought he was. And... But I was going through Peter Explains the Joke because I like that subreddit and sometimes I don't get them. Here's one I didn't get.

Do you guys get this? This is all the information. Immediately. Really? Yeah. I've never been. It's come, my lady. Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady. Butterfly. You're my butterfly. Sugar, baby. Yeah. All right.

I didn't get it. Who's Peter? Peter Griffin? Oh, they're referencing Peter Griffin? Yeah. Does he explain jokes or something? I think there was one instance ever where Peter explained a joke or something like that and they made a whole subreddit about it.

But I promise you, that one wasn't easy. And if you're not a millennial or older, you won't get that one that was a that song was big in 2002 or 2003 yeah that was like a middle school jam yeah it was a high school jam i was playing with titties in shop class i remember specifically it's um that was that was a great song i i like that song. But yeah, most of the subreddits like that just annoy me. I try to make my Reddit experience exactly what I want,

but I'm too lazy to go through and actually make one that's nothing what I want. Porn and refacts. I do. All right. Porn has to stay separate. There's no way I can get anything done if I'm hard all day watching. I can't be like Bobo. if I'm hard all day watching.

I can't be like, was it Bobo? First they have a chick naked and then they ask about Met stats. Yeah, that's a very good clip. That would be my day. Big black covered titties, let's go! And then they swipe once

and it's like, ooh, hot rod Dodge Viper races R6 motorcycle. Who's going to win? Hello. Dude, then you would like Twitter more now. Twitter's porn bot problem is absurd. Every single, well, I'm being dramatic.

A lot of threads you'll click on. It'll be like, incredible goal from Alex Ovechkin tonight versus Edmonton. Only 46 goals until he passes Wayne Gretzky's record. Then you like click to open it up. Cause you're like, there's probably clips of other goals. He's scored. Let's click that open.

And then it's just pussy and bio pussy and bio. Yes. A gif of people fucking. And and it's like this has nothing to do with ovechkin's goal record let's let's keep things on on point very frustrating that that was not something they had as much like a year ago yeah i i haven't been on twitter in i don't remember the last time i was on twitter it's over over a decade. It's way faster than Reddit for getting clips and stuff because most Reddit content is just reposted. I might have posted...

To do anything on there, like browse or look for content of any kind whatsoever, I think I used Twitter a little bit during the Boston bombing because we were so on the ball trying to find out... Because they were looking for them, Taylor. There were terrorists running the streets and like like all of boston was that and the feds were out and the national guard was out and the city of boston was like you knew that if like some some dudes like in boston laid hands on those arnea boys that they were going to catch a beat twitter is a great place if you want to see like mainstream politicians and celebrities get owned by like a guy with a clifford the big red dog profile picture wearing

like an ss uniform like just just the most absurd conglomerate i'm on twitter every day but i never scroll it i'm i just get linked to it oh yeah from Reddit. My new favorite thing is following Kanye's wife and her ridiculous outfits. So mostly what she wears now is transparent body suits, like those things you can order off Amazon for $20 that just shows everything. She has to use her cell phone to cover her vagina when she goes out because her vagina is almost always exposed um and her gigantic titties that somehow stay afloat my god those things are perky to be what look like like h's or something like i i don't know i i wonder if they've got a

kink where like he likes like, like, like either like, like does she, does she, is she an exhibitionist or is, or does he like, like, like making her naked and she's into it too. I wonder if that's part of it.

Cause like, my God, those outfits are ludicrous. I, as Kyle was saying it, I was like, I wonder if there's a subreddit that follows Kanye's wife. If there is,

I didn't see it, but this is the first post I found. It's like transparent outfit, cell phone. Can you show it, Zach? It's pretty safe for the show. Yeah. Cell phone covering her pussy. Like it's exactly what Kyle said.

All of her outfits are similar to that. Like that one's actually, she's wearing a raincoat, nothing else. It looks like a cheap raincoat you'd get at a dry cleaners it looks like he's wearing a dry cleaner bag actually yes it does i think um is that literally a dry cleaner bag it looks like it with a hood what does it say daily i think that's what his ridiculous poncho was in and he's making her wear that instead of clothes just get my poncho cleaned i did not even notice he was in a balaclava with a giant tarp over him because of hers outfit this is that this is the head honcho poncho you can buy it now on my site the mask is crazy he's the mask is crazy the boots are crazy he's a madman

and every time i see her he she has her titties out and her asshole is just almost exposed. Fenster covers up more than this lady. This lady is naked everywhere she goes. It came out that, you know, Ye has that like Donda Academy thing or something, basically a school for kids. And he was one. Three of the things that stood out, I remember something about he wanted to be able to put the kids in cages for punishment or something like he wanted like cages to put them in he wanted everyone's head shaved that was one of the things all the kids had shaved he he doesn't have hair

so no one can exactly and i think he has hair but he shaves it but i could be wrong. I'd love to see a spelling bee. His school versus LeBron's. Once again, round 67, the word is rabbit. W A Into the cage. Into the bad at spelling cage.

YouTube's almost as bad with its recommendations. Like on the new to you tab, it's a black lady's 20th anniversary party. It's just a granny at her own anniversary party being filmed by a cousin or some shit eating cornbread. And they spelled anniversary phonetically. A-N-A I like that this

uninteresting grandma is like 10 years younger than me. It's cultural. Don't judge it. It's cultural. There's nothing wrong with a 30-year-old grandmother. The YouTube homepage for me is pretty like Age of Empires videos, Norm MacDonald, Opie and Anthony, Primitive Technology,

Sam Hyde, Shane Gillis, a lot of AOE. Are these the subreddits you're on? No, those are just my YouTube. They're on YouTube. YouTube suggested. so mine is raw body cam footage uh it's uh it's it's literally the thumbnail has a person being stepped on it says please don't hurt me there's some uh there's some warhammer shit there's some gun shit although i try to get that i don't like gun shit honestly um there's lots of movie stuff and lots of Chuck Berry. There's some old vet talking about

killing people. Oh, and then there's these hot ass music videos that have been getting recommended, not because I watch them over and over, but it's basically like songs you've probably heard before with like really sexy chicks dancing and stuff. And I keep those on my monitor when I play Hell Divers. My YouTube is exactly what you'd expect. The first video, something about Trump's legal case. The next one, some sailboat thing,

uh, a music band, the offspring coral reef basketball, more coral reef. Like, yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah.

Yeah. You do. Videos are losing me. There's it's content. These people are, Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah. Core Reef videos are losing me. It's bad content. These people are... Do you remember the very beginning days of YouTube? Some people were good at the game, but they didn't have a thought in their head.

Some people were the inverse of that, and it was pretty rare that there was a gameplay you wanted to see from someone you wanted to hear. That's where Re reefing is. There are just total shitheads who have terrible tanks who I don't want any advice from. And then there are pretty charismatic people. Wait, I think I'm saying it wrong.

Yeah, pretty charismatic people with terrible tanks or people with good tanks who know what they're doing, but they're just so autistic they can't tell you. Yeah, I guess you're trying to learn stuff though when you go there huh are you are you trying to just see something cool a little of both yeah actually so at first i was trying to learn things at this point i kind of know how i want to do it and i like to see what people have done like imagine a coral reef tank is like a bonsai tree or a bonsai forest. And I'm like,

all right. Yeah. So this guy has a lot of small corals. This guy took a fewer colonies, but grew them really big. What do I like? This guy has so many corals is barely any room for fish. I don't think that's my target.

So Jackie and I watched the videos together and kind of agree on what we like and don't like. I've been thinking about getting a terrarium, which is way cooler than an aquarium. Sure. Turtle? It's not nearly as... I kind of want some bugs in there, but bugs I'm not afraid of. I think I want a praying mantis because we were looking at those pretty praying mantises a while back. Are they scary?

No, I think of them as beautiful. There's some really cool ones that are colorful. There might be Japanese. It's sort of pale with cool colorations. I don't know. I was thinking about having a couple praying mantises in, I don't know, just some dirt and plants and little

terrarium scape. That would be cool. There's I'm trying to find an ocelot. That's the prospect of you being that would be cool there's um i'm trying to find them isn't it what are you laughing at yeah that's prospect of you being a bug guy i'll have a terrarium and he'll have an aquarium and you'll have to get some sort of some sort of air uh uh uh escape an airscape yeah i mean if you guys corner those two markets

i don't know what i'm gonna do have you seen in birds birdcage axolotl i don't know how to pronounce this shit i will get you a picture axolotl yeah that sounds right um are you guys familiar with this yeah it's that little little goofy looking amphibian thing right yeah yeah i think because i like fish tanks reddit was like hey you might like this too he's so cute. Can you show this picture, Zach? And I go to this subreddit all the time. It looks like a Pokemon.

It's pretty cool. I'm pretty sure it's Amphibious. I don't know much about him, but if I were to get into something new, it'd be on the short list. I'm waiting for the picture to come up. Oh, here we are. He's dope. He's so cute.

Ha! Look at him. He's got four legs and a big swimming tail. Does it turn into anything, or is that it? I'm pretty sure that's what the adults look like. When you evolve it out, does it become a larger one? This is one of those Pokemon that sucks for the first 20 levels, but it

evolves into Gerda, something powerful. Yeah. It has electrical powers, which is a big problem. It was a mistake. So what does it do? Like, is it useful to have in the ecosystem, or it's just kind of neat? I'm not an expert on these things.

I think it just looks cute, and I think it's one of those animals where like, because it looks at you and asks for food and stuff, people project more personality to it than it really has. Yeah. And yeah, but that can be fun. I have a fish.

He must be hungry all the time because when, you know, he goes to the glass and he looks at you and you, he's like having a puppy almost, but I'm sure if you looked at it you'd be like yeah what he's not thinking what you think he's thinking he's just it's fun to do a little personification on him and be like oh look he recognized us and it's like yeah yeah well maybe he just or you might jackie holds the food in front of the glass and then puts it on top

and he knows that routine at this point so when he sees the food in front of the glass and then puts it on top and he knows that routine at this point so when he sees the food he like isn't it expresses an interest in it that's cool yeah it's better than most fish i mean that's a child's play for a dog he's a gold spotted rabbit fish he's uh is there like an intelligence stack ranking in the fish world for sure yeah yeah some a lot of the ugly ones are actually smarter like the puffer fish are really smart like people uh all fish are smart manta rays are considered to be among the most intelligent fish i didn't know that well i don't think you would just throw them in there right well we're gonna put more salt in the pool yeah i think that would eat up all your your fun fish

apparently they're super intelligent. Really? They have the biggest brains of any fish with especially developed areas for learning, problem-solving, and communicating. Octopi are very smart. I've heard of that. The cephalopod.

Did you see the Mark Rober video about octopus, octopi? No, but I've seen a lot of their problem solving and the way they could open bottles and twist caps and acquire things and also do... Do you know Mark Rober at all? I have no idea. Oh, you're missing out.

He's a big shot on the internet and he tends to make maybe one video a month. Maybe it's more than that. But they're really all high production things. And one of the things he does i bet you've seen his revenge against porch pirates the of course it got the glitter things yeah the glitter bombs and stuff yeah yeah that's mark rober anyway he made one for his octopus and it was an obstacle course and if he could get to the end of it, he earned his freedom. And it was really a pretty tricky obstacle course. And then he set him free in the ocean.

They don't live very long. No, they do not. I think. Yeah. It's really sad because it, I mean, it's amazing. They're as smart as they are.

Extremely intelligent. Do you watch Tears Zoo? I bet you do. Yeah. Is that the one with the black eyes has the tiny microphone no he uh that's a good one too he like gamifies um evolution so he'll be like i this one put all his evolution points into armor and now he's you know kind of can't move this one but the shell meta goes out of fashion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he did one on. Well, no, I should say, as I watched his videos, I learned that one of the things that helps humans be smart is our long lifetime. You know, if we died at two years, we'd probably be morons. Most two year olds are morons. But because we live for 100 years, not only do we get to figure a lot of things out but we get to pass a lot on and that helps helped humans get smart like okay animals with that have those long um juvenile phases like like us and like orcas and whales and marine mammals in general are tend to be super and and you know the great apes like all those are some of the more intelligent things they spend more time in education i guess because they're dependent

on their parents and that makes sense i saw that human brain has gotten quite a bit bigger in like the last 50 years i think i think the advent of c-sections has allowed our big brain children to survive and multiply and then also just medical science in general where like you know you could you get one out of there maybe pussies are getting bigger too in the 50s there's no way i'm doing my part cranial capacity in the last 50 years i'd say well um yeah there is taylor it's called evolution yeah it's pretty rapid for evolution doesn't it i don't think it's evolution. I just think it's us getting bigger

heads. The big-headed babies are surviving more, he said. Women are such whores now. Their vaginas are bigger. That's all it is. He's saying the head of the baby will evolve to whatever size the pussy is. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. You get those mega mind kids. Zach, can you show me?

I'll find it zach pull up that hokum graph that absolute nonsense i was reading what is that thing called when you study the brain bumps oh phrenology yeah yeah i have a phrenology book i forgot where i put it i bought it online for like 35 dollars i needger, taller, and narrower. Seen from the front. Bigger. I read it. Can't be a lie. Oh, you saw it online? Yeah.

Here I imagined you pouring over tomes in the library. You know what else it could be? Where else would you get information, right? Yeah. So you know how black people have wider noses and maybe I don't know, Swedish people, I'm making this up, have thinner faces. They do have wider nose. Like that, there's a very specific

black nose. It's like wider than our nose. Right. So if one part of the earth was like multiplying, you know, having so many more babies than the other, like I think Africa might be the fastest growing right now. I could see if someone was like, Oh,

humans are getting wider noses when really it's not evolution. It's just a demographic. That's why you say that those big black dicks are stretching vaginas out. And so human heads are bigger now. No, I wasn't actually going there. Right. I was saying maybe whoever has

what does it say? Taller and narrower heads. Whoever has the taller and narrower heads is a demographic that's having more babies. Okay. Interesting. And yet the Mexicans continue to flourish. The Mexicans are

a boxy folk. They have small round heads though. Close to the ground. Perfect for a green thummery. That's true. They're the hobbits of people. They make great gardeners and landscapers, right, Taylor? That's perfect. Who else would dig a hole in the ground under the border but a hobbit?

Kyle, let's become turn of the two century ago race scientists. Let's have that be our new thing just ignore um genetics and just go by like what things look like and what that what people talk about genetic differences in racism we're like you and your hokum and your studies observe the bone of the brow that's where the conclusion can be quickly become Leonardo DiCaprio and Django holding that skull see here ooh I'm gonna back slowly out of this room

that's a good fucking scene I mean I like Django I wonder if that movie could have benefited from some editing it's no I really doesn't look up as much. What are you talking about?

I loved it when I first saw it. Christoph Waltz carries that film. He carries that film and he carries Inglourious Bastards. Brad Pitt does very well in Inglourious Bastards and I did enjoy it. He's not that good in that movie.

When he's on screen and he's talking, he's very good. It's like he's joking. He plays it so over the top, it's like he's doing a joke. I'm gonna send the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little engine in me. That's exactly what he said. Good for you. I wouldn't have remembered that line.

Christoph Waltz's. That's just a bad movie. That's a quarter of a good movie squished together with three quarters of a fucking bad movie i don't give a fuck about shushana i'll go fuck about her and her black boyfriend and france and none of that i came here to watch brad pitt kill nazis and i want to see like and i want to see more eli roth is what i want i want the fucking bear jew on screen more i wanted to like be carving that bad up you know that was supposed to be adam sandler as the bear jew oh come on he can do it he's a good actor

they did that with ai yeah and he's doing some of the like like silly adam sandler voices as he's coming down that like hallway with the with the bat knocking it on the tunnel yeah i that's not one of my favorites jackie brown's his worst movie by far i hate jackie brown i've seen it twice and i'll never watch it again it's just a shitty movie but jango i if you were like what did you want to watch jango i look at is it how long is it two and a half hours at least that's about right i like every scene of it i like every bit of it i wouldn't want to trim any of that i enjoy um you know his interaction with the slate with the slavers when he goes to can't before he goes to candy land when he goes to that first plantation and

and treats with that fellow who's got jonah hill as one of his like kkk members and they have a whole bit about the masks and the guy's wife made shitty masks and then they have a well all right well this time no masks and next time no no we weren't in the mask that's the whole point and like all that it's funny to me all for it to end the way it does and then like i love christoph waltz and his interactions with django um i've seen quentin tarantino talk about directing jamie foxx and how at first jamie foxx was playing it like really cool like he was like more like shaft or something and he's like look you're not cool you're a fucking slave okay you can't read you're not fucking cool you're not slick you're not with it you're a fucking slave

now put your foot in my mouth. He does. Holy freaking Quarantina. Oh my God. By the way, Taylor. Quarantina is one of the few who could say that. Taylor knew. I can't believe we haven't talked about this.

I meant to bring this up last week. You were always talking about how that creep on Nickelodeon would do the feet shit. And now there's like whole documentaries it turns out he was raping people impregnating people it wasn't what's her name um amanda binds what didn't he rape amanda binds and like she had to abort his baby while he was running that child show she was on and then all that foot shit where they're like dip your feet and catch up and send me fucking pictures those Those feet people, I swear to God. We got to put a stop to it.

We got to shut that down. Come on, feet guys. Maybe we make a couple work camps. Who's better than the feet guys? Who would you prefer? On the hierarchy of like, all right. The lowest of the low would be like an Epstein Island guy who goes with her feet Oh

Hilarious I only like child feet Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Just a Palestinian child feet Oh no Diabolical man I don't know who the feet people outrank

In my view none Oh furries, they outrank furries Yeah the furries are I don't have a the people outrank. In my view, none. Oh, furries. They outrank furries. Yeah, the furries are... I don't have a problem with any of these people. Furries are going to stink. I do. I don't like the furry thing. Really? Yeah, really.

It's not that I want to stop it or do anything against it. I just find it to be odd and off-putting in a way. And I just really can't quite wrap my head around it the diaper play stuff real does that involve actually pooping and peeing it involves a cadre of things one of the it might be that you had this binary relationship where one of you is the baby and one is like the caretaker and you got to change the and there's lots of baby talk right like oh baby made a boom boom it's real stinky mommy and like mommy's got to come clean that up it's like oh

and maybe they're also into like poop and often if they're into that so they might be eating from the diapers and smelling them that was that that was that crazy story if you remember the two boys i'm gonna i think one of them was like 10 or 12 and the other was like 14 or 15 they found their dad's laptop and there were pictures on on there of him and doing his diaper fetish stuff and eating poop out of his diaper and they took pictures of that with their cell phones shitty sons get it and then and then one of them confronted the dad with it later on and you know he murdered him he murdered him because yeah that's what you do so now we're in court with all the jurors looking at you eating poop dude now i have seen you eat poop the streisand effect the streisand

effect if you want to see that piece of shit eat poop like it's right there on the internet look for the you know the poop band dad who killed take your word for it yeah it's pretty awful man so really getting all the p i'm okay with like like i'm not i'm not like into p but i'm not out of p either you know what i mean you know keep your keep your piss to yourself don't do it at like a park i'm not gonna force my piss upon you if you you have to request my piss and it's precious piss okay like i'm willy-nilly like spraying around i'm not i'm not sure that you're piss worthy you better eat your asparagus or i'm not interested yeah all right all you drink is black coffee i was trying to find it.

What was Jim Norton's character when he's like the dirty pedophile? He's like, oh, you fall and hurt your tuchus. Paul Hargis. Paul Hargis? Paul Hargis. H-A-R-G-I-S. G-G-I-S, I think. Hargis.

Okay. I got to find some of those bits tonight. I wanted to show them to multiple people. That's one of my... I used to do that. They're reprehensible. It's so funny. It's one of my favorite bits

to just completely rip off because it's... You know, you freestyle as you go the horrible things you're saying. It's almost like the aristocrats joke, but just pedophilia. Just pedophilia. Jimmy's one of the dirtiest man...

That's how I know that Jimmy's not a pedophile because he's way too open about being a dirty dirty man like i only tuned in ever with jim norton because i liked his comedy or i liked his um um his really what i like is how quick-witted he is yeah but like how quickly he can turn a phrase or like... There's like a comedic equation and his order of operations is fucking slick. He's good with it. But he would also talk about his transsexual prostitutes

that he would pay to spit in his mouth. Yeah, here's a four-hour compilation called Opie and Anthony, the Unsubtle and Despicable Uncle Paul. Uncle Paul, that's what ittle and despicable Uncle Paul. Uncle Paul, that's what it is. Oh, yeah.

Guest overslept. Yes, he did. Let's call it a show. He's in a different hemisphere. I don't blame him. It's like 6 a.m. to him or something. I don't want to blast him like we did Hodor. But I will blast Hodor all the time

fuck that guy i was about to call hodor a slur and then i realized he is one that that's never cool that's one thing i've never done is called a a person by the slur that's for them i only call other people like the reason i got banned from uh twitch was for calling scum a faggot and it's like scum's one of my best buddies. He's not gay. He's super straight. He was, and he wouldn't be friends with them. Scum's a fucking poon destroyer over there. He's good looking. He's got some cash. He's got plenty of free time.

I don't know what he's doing with a girlfriend. Oh, he's playing AoE2 with me. That's what he's doing. The poon destroying has totally stopped since he picked up age of empires 2 suddenly he can't get a girl

he's doing that you know the meme where like the guy's got his arm around the girl too aggressively explaining something he wouldn't care about yeah that's Taylor getting people to play that awful game. Have you heard of Age of Empires 2? We're having a wonderful time.

It's a classic. The fact that people have been playing it for 15 years is very telling. 25 years. 25 years. That's crazy. 25 years. I can't play games. My computer's from 16 years ago.

When does Age of Mythology come out? When do you hear this? You can play this on a fucking... When does Age age of mythology come out i know they're doing a master on that this year this calendar year age of mythology ported age of empires 2 to a pregnancy test yeah i'm definitely gonna play age of mythology when it comes out that'll be a bunch of fun all right let's play some kind of a horde shooter or something like even if it's cod zombies or something like but i and i would want to i want to play some dark tide or some vermin tide vermin tides adding that like multiplayer mode which looks fun you can play as a goddamn vermin tide right that's what that's what makes me have faith in dark tide i didn't like dark tide on

release didn't like it a month in but we're closing in on like a, it'll be a year, you know, soon. They've added a lot to that game. I want to go try that out some more, because it's real satisfying to hack your way through all that evil. Fat Shark. They don't abandon games. No, I think part of the reason that

some of the things that people don't like about Darktide, the monetization, the way the shop was set up, they did that thing where you buy the currency and such parcels that it's difficult to buy how much you want and then on top of that they do the thing where oh you can only buy this armor will only be on the shop for a week and then never again and it's like well fuck like so i can net and hell divers to its credit is the exact opposite hell divers is like anything that we release is always available if you want if you need to come back here and get this later on and you can buy currency in that game but you can just play the game and find the

currency like i have found 12 worth of currency playing it so i wouldn't you know i if i was a kid i wouldn't have be coming out of pocket for $12 you're right because the things are $10 each I've found enough to get one of the other season passes which is about the right amount it's a good curve they've set up hmm

well I've enjoyed it thoroughly gentlemen I didn't miss our guests a bit didn't miss them a bit love spending this four hours with you. Always a fun time. Check out our sponsors, PKA694.

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