Painkiller Already - PKA 698 W/ Josh Wolf: Chappelle Sabotages Dane Cook, Women Love Bears, Woody Sells Soul

Episode Date: May 4, 2024

pka 698 with our guest josh wolf taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com blue chew and lock and load josh thanks for joining us from a wonderful hotel room looks like a marriott thanks for having me it is not a marriott it is a hotel well i'm not gonna say the hotel room yeah i almost made a little oopsie Who's on the bed behind you and how old are they? That is my son Who I tour with He opens for me

Oh, cool He's going to come over and join us in a second I'm going to take all my pedophile jokes And put them right back on the shelf He looks like an adult He looks like an adult You know, it's my story I'll tell it the way I want to all my pedophile jokes and put them right back on the shelf. Let's not go. He looks like an adult. You know, it's my story. I'll tell it the way I want to.

He's 27. Yeah, he's legal. Don't worry, Woody. Just bring him back. Definitely legal. We have pedophile jokes. We can't do four hours here. And not super hairy either, Woody. I don't know if that's what you're... He lies. Actually, I like hair.

He does. A gross amount like Harry. He does. A gross amount of hair. He likes men. He's gay. He likes hairy women. This is what happened. He likes a hairy woman, Woody? Yeah.

Dude, so this was the genesis of the whole thing. We went on this whitewater rafting trip, and there was this girl. She was smoking hot. An absolute smoke show. But the other hosts on this show felt like her happy trail. Everyone knows that a happy trail is was a turnoff. But I've always viewed body hair on a woman as a sign of high testosterone, therefore a sign of high sex drive. I'm in.

You know what I like in a lady or a seating hairline? Yeah. It gets me going. That horseshoe. Wide shoulders. Narrow hips. He is high, baby. Vascular arms. Shoulders. I see what we're doing.

I was there. I saw that lady. She was cute and all, but she was hairier than me. She was super fit. She was a whitewater rafting guide for a living let me ask you something yeah isn't it okay to grow the hair and so you have the potential for the hairy legs and the hairy arms and the lip but you just shave it so you don't have to prove how hairy you are uh i guess i could live with that if i really knew but i need the receipts every now and then but you just shave it so you don't have to prove how hairy you are.

I guess I could live with that if I really knew, but I need the receipts every now and then. You're right, Josh. You can do that, and it's a better move. Yeah. I mean, you really can have the best of both worlds if you want it, Woody, but if you're into also a little cozy and up, warmer in the winter. Yep.

Warmer in the winter. I got a little lost in this one. Woody wants a woman to hunt for him and care for him. It's 1795 and we need a burly gal to get us through the hard times? If she can't split wood, what good is she? I mean, yeah. Have you seen some of those pictures of the Irish peasant women from

the 1800s big bitches big rough hands for farming they survived the winter the little dainty redheads you ever get a hand job from a lady with calluses it's so good I am not a fan

just not two days in a row I dated a stripper and she had those calluses on her hand from the fucking pole and it would be so intense when she grabbed my dick. I'd be like, whoa, OK, whoa, stop, stop. It almost be like like after you come and she keeps going and it gets way too intense. It was like that from the beginning. It's like this is too much. I don't like that. I wouldn't like that. No, I'm not. I'm not in for the rough part. They're strong, too. Can I tell you you i did a stripper in college and so i would go

watch her dance right and so because i would tell her after you do a lap dance for somebody come over and give me their money so she would take the money and come over and sit on my lap and pretend to give it to me and the guys would fucking fume it was such a fun thing for me i look over and kind of wave to him because you know they're following they're like that girl likes me and then she walks over and sits on my lap and puts their money in my pocket. Yeah. It's like LARPing as a pimp with none of the risk, none of the, you know, the tree corner. He said, pretend at the end of the day, at the end of the day,

she has a strip. I think he kept that money. It's funny when you look back on your life and remember the day a kink was born. So you were just buying food with sweaty ones. But by the way but by the way by the way that strip club yeah you didn't you didn't lick your finger before you touched those bills that strip club is where i saw uh woody how old are you guys 51 over here okay so what do you remember the cherry pie video yes warrant i do too okay so we saw warrant um firehouse and one other band in san antonio and warrant was

closing and what was his name jen, Jenny Lane. But he said, he go, he started, they went, they were closing with cherry pie. So it was, Hey everybody, meet us over.

The place was called PTs in San Antonio. Meet us over at PTs. My girlfriend, Bobby Brown is dancing. Nobody stuck around for his, the last two songs. People ran out of the venue because i i had been to pd's before i'm like that only fits 200 people i'm like what out of here it was yeah pretty amazing

damn bobby brown did yeah i wonder if he got paid to pimp the strip joint? I well I ask because it happens now to UFC fighters a lot. They'll do an after party after their fight and they get paid for it. Yeah, big time. I think she obviously got paid. Yeah. You can tell. Dude, if life

would have went a little differently, that's Trump. Is this what he has up there? And we just don't know it could he could be like a oh that's i have to tell you he should go like that honestly i don't know who felt more masculine in that picture yeah i'm going with the boy he looked like a garden that was like garth from wayne's world who was the funniest character in that movie so good for him you know the uh the story about um dave chappelle and dane cook no no so um i guess one of them is an excellent comedian yeah well there was a time i look i always liked dane cook i found his performances to be great like like his special or whatever it was was so fucking good at the time you know it's

a different time now but anyway he was up and dave chappelle comes in and uh they tell him hey dave when you go up there just do a do a quick tight 10 you know this is dane's night i mean dane cook yeah he's up this is dane's night big deal for him you Yeah, he's up. This is Dane's night. Big deal for him. Just do quick 10 and get on off the stage. He's like, oh, really? Okay. So he goes up there and does his 10 minutes and of course Dave Chappelle, everybody loves it. He's like, alright

y'all, you know, gonna hop off here and say goodnight to you. I don't usually do this, but you wanna hang out, smoke some cigarettes and shit? I'm going to be outside for the next couple hours. Oh, man. He walks off the stage. The entire room empties, and it's Dane's

turn. And he goes, that was Dane's night. He takes the whole audience outside to the sidewalk and smokes cigarettes, takes pictures, signs autographs for like an hour. Okay. That's a pretty big sabotage.

But who among us wouldn't go hang out with Dave Chappelle a little bit? Yeah, you'd have to go. You'd have to go hang out with Dave Chappelle. Let me say two things. First of all, Dane's comedy right now, if you're – don't judge it on what he used to do. He's grown. Dane has always been top five performers as far as comics but his comedy right now is like legit chapelle

one night at the comedy store so it was in the main room and um look man comics none of us if dave's like hey i'm gonna do two hours we'd all be like, okay, I'm going to watch that two hours. And you can vote. No big deal. We're here. You get to do what you want. You've earned. So he's on stage.

And the set was supposed to be probably 20 minutes. And he was at maybe 23. And he's starting. Paulie's backstage. And Dave's starting to put his jacket back on he's putting the mic back in the stand the set's winding up but paulie can't see that from backstage and paulie's you know at the time he still owned part of the comedy store and all this shit and there were comics back there and so he goes hey from the back he goes hey dave just curious how much time you're doing there are comics back there. And so he goes, hey, from the back, he goes, hey, Dave,

just curious how much time you're doing. There are comics back here who want to go up. And Dave, from the stage, you can't see Pauly. You can hear his voice. Dave goes, is that Pauly? And he goes, yeah. And he goes, hey, Pauly. And he goes, let me ask you a question, Pauly.

And he takes his jacket off. And he goes, have any of those people back there have 30 fucking years in the business, and he takes out his cigarette and he lights it, he goes, let me get a beer and a shot. He goes, I won't be here for a minute. Just another hour. Yo, he was right. Just let him just let him

he's a respectful dude. That was Pauly Shore in the back? Yeah, it was Pauly. Doesn't his mom own the place? Well, his mom did own the place and stayed in the family. And so Pauly and his brother and sister.

Okay, okay. But yeah, man. Super respectful dude. It sounded like Pauly was kind of respectful too. They both were. That's the thing. Well, I don't know that Chappelle was in this scenario. He was entirely.

Chappelle's funnier. And when you get to that point in your career, he's right. I'm going to do it in 30 years. I'm Dave Chappelle. I'm going to do my time. I'm not going to be disrespectful. But you're not going to scream at me from backstage. That's not going to do my time. I'm not going to be disrespectful, but you're not going to scream at me from backstage. That's not going to happen.

And I could see both. I could see Pauly because Pauly wasn't watching. He didn't see Dave putting his stuff on and getting out of there. All he knew is he had a room filled with comics waiting to go on stage. And probably people out there couldn't fit in the room being like, hey, should I go home? Yes. Same things I got.

I was on that list. I was very ready to not go on stage, but super excited to watch Chappelle. Yeah. Seems like if you could poison that room, like if you get some food poisoning in there, you could come up and get seen. You know what I mean?

Yeah. What are you doing? Getting a drink. You're getting a drink out of your bag? No. What up yeah look at what are you doing getting a drink you're getting a drink out of your bag no that's jake fellas how are you all right i'm doing good doing solid don't willy me i don't like i got a social question i'm watching basketball right now yeah and as the old players are getting beat by the young ones, the transfer of power is not peaceful. They are flexing, pointing to their dick, screaming in their faces.

There is no like, you're a legend, man. It was an honor to play with you. That shit is not happening in basketball right now. When a comic kind of, you know, loses his spot as king of the hill, do the other comics like you know dude you're you're a legend i've respect for you i'm glad you paved the way or they like move over not funny dick shit uh maybe behind your back they are but to your face it's a very super respectful situation

okay well i'm sure behind their back they're like oh fuck funny jokes since 1987 you know but but in front of your face they're super nuts i'll tell you something else man uh like recently i've had a couple people say to me i was in la and uh i got introduced this one woman was like he's a legend I'm like am I? are you introducing me right now? yeah you aged into it now you get to just say it yeah I was like are you calling me old?

is that all it takes to be a legend? you know what you could also do? you could make up things that dead comics have said about you where you could be like, I want you to introduce me, Josh Wolfe, as Patrice O'Neill's personal favorite stand-up comedian.

He told me that before he passed on his deathbed. He couldn't speak. He just had a diabetic stroke and he was in a coma, but he blinked it at me. He blinked it at me. He blinked it at me. I blinked at me. He blinked it at me. I love it. Like those Vietnamese POWs.

R.I.P. R.I.P. to Patrice. His favorite comedian was Josh Wolfe. My favorite comic of all time, Patrice O'Neill. He's on my list. He was so fucking funny. All the old ONA appearances of him, I re-listened to probably once a year it's

there's a guy who went out on top he's he was so far ahead of his time but dude my favorite nobody i can laugh i can see his jokes over and over again same jokes and laugh every fucking time yeah every time even uh even the episode of ONA they did right after he died, where they had basically every famous comedian, the really big ones at the time, so Jim Norton and all his boys, like Louis C.K., basically plug and play any of them in. They just laughed about him the whole time.

Not even all the deferential stuff like jim would just go into stories like you know another thing that fat retard did we were getting hookers in brazil and he told me that he'd paid and then he came out quickly after coming and was like we gotta go right now and it turns out we robbed a couple prostitutes because patrice was too cheap to put to pay for it and then you have fucking other of prostitutes because Patrice was too cheap to pay for it. And then you have other comedians in there being. It was so funny. So good vibes that Patrice guy.

Damn shame. He just ignored that beat us for, I guess, his whole life, I guess, for 20 years, 15 years. Just that's crazy. It just ate as many sweets as he wanted and just never did when i hear people say to me yeah i wear shorts in the winter because my legs don't get cold i'm like that's called diabetes dude that's crazy no they're they're so resilient to cold they're turning purple can't feel them yeah you shouldn't be super proud of that. No. He could still be here. He was only 41.

That's right. Guys, I need to know something that we were talking about, I think, pre we went on the air. But is it really illegal to be a midget and play baseball? Well, they won't lock you up, but it's against the rules of the game, which I had just learned from kyle and woody before there's a height limit it's like a ride six flags yeah so in 1951 your strike zone is your knees to the bottom of the letters on your jersey right and if it's only got a guy you throw

a guy who's three foot seven out there and suddenly the strike zone is just very small and then he'll crouch down too. And then if he ever gets plunked, he's dead. Zach, bring up the picture. I got one for you. Kyle, I'm not going to lie to you. That was my first strategy. Oh, you want to get in the box, little man?

I'm going to hit him every time up. I swear to God. That little fucker out there. Listen, if he's going to walk him anyways, I might as well plug him, right? Yeah, I'm going to hit him in the ankle. I'm going well plug him, right? I'm going to hit him in the ankle. I'm going to break his fucking leg. This guy in 1951 played for MLB, Major League

Baseball team called the St. Louis Browns. I didn't even know about that team. He was 3'7 tall. He was ordered not to swing. I saw him in... Look at this. This is number 1-8. I saw a photo of him with a different stance where he like spread his legs really wide and made his strike zone extra small like i don't know and um

um his his thing they just thought a pitcher couldn't hit his tiny little strike zone and uh but they made it wow look at that little fella yeah that's a three foot seven grown he's so scared yes that is an adult but not midget because they don't doesn't have it's not all thighs and elbows like he's 26 years old and that's just so long ago they didn't even let blacks in the no he's a he's a midget he's not a dwarf got it got it got it i think a dwarf is when you have a normal set a peter dinklage is a dwarf whether you have like a normal sized head Dinklage is a dwarf, where you have like a normal-sized head and everything else is small. I thought you meant powers.

No, none of them have powers. Common misconception. But they don't grant wishes if you capture them, you find out, after lengthy litigious battles in court. But, yeah, this guy – you know, I think that was a a foolhardy rule to ban this little fella i think the rule should have been like he can bat but he also has to field so it has to be like a tactical player in your lineup where like yeah you get the free walk but he has to play you know put him in right field i just found out what happened he had had one at bat, and he was 3-0. He had three balls and no strikes, and he couldn't resist swinging,

and he fouled out. Wait, fouled out? No, he grounded out. I'm sorry. I don't know. He couldn't resist swinging. He couldn't resist swinging. Those little fuckers are incorrigible.

He's actually – it would be a liability because if he gets on first base look it's going to take him a long time to run the second yeah you got a pinch runner you bring him in as a pinch hitter and then you immediately take him out or um you'd have to you can't have him running the bases and you can't have him fielding balls right i'm asking different questions in my head are we trying to win games or sell tickets? Both. I want to see this guy play. Well, what about the Savannah Bananas?

I bet you they could put... That's actually a good idea. They could get a little fella on their lineup. Did you see the guy do the back flip no glove catch the other day in the outfield? How great is that? I would 100% go see one of those games. Who are the Savannah Bananas?

I think I might have seen them on Reddit. Do they dance? We talked about them before. Oh, they're like the Globetrotter-style baseball team, right? It wasn't that. They were a regular team, but attendance was down, and so they tried something new. They're like, let's add some performance art to our baseball game.

And so they're doing coordinated dances like all the players are as the pitch is coming. It's really ridiculous. If they really wanted to up attendance, they should have started playing football. In the outfield. They should have had a football game going on while they were

playing baseball. It's minor league baseball. It's hard to get them in the stands. It's just people's families really you would think it's bananas now sell out everywhere they go yeah like when they come to vegas it's hard to get a ticket to that game yeah it's a fucking show it's pretty cool i would watch too i don't live that far from there honestly that's a good idea i was i was gonna go to savannah soon soon anyway. I wonder if I'll make sure I watch a game. How about this, though? If you do have a midget on your team,

the other team has to have the same amount of midgets. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah. Then it's almost kind of a cold war of adding more midgets. You bring a guy that's borderline? Hey, we've got the best. Hey, measure that, cocksucker.

We said one midget only. That probably would happen. There'd be a lot of technicalities. That would be hilarious if you could feel it. It's like literally if you hit, you've got to put him in the field. You can't just have him get on walk and pinch run. He's got to play one inning in the field and stay on the base. The normal St. Louis Cardinals are all riding the bench because I

showed up with nine midgets. You have to scurry around and find eight more. It's like a scene in Moneyball where Jonah Hill's like, Brad Pitt, there's just not that many of these guys. We're really trying out there.

We're scouring barnum and bailey get out there and get it done we're reaching out to india because apparently there's a lot of midgets in india i learned from that from that one scene or do they just have a lot of people i don't know i think it's i think they're the most populated country now right am i wrong yeah they're they're on top they passed china how come i heard and i could be 100% wrong on this but I don't think I am but I hope I'm not but I could be.

I heard that in California, south of LA, there is like a midget community. Really? Yeah. Zach, can you look into that? Is there a midget community in Southern California? I could have heard that in my dreams.

Welcome to Little Angeles. LA, Little Angeles. Am I wrong about that? But I thought I heard that. We've got our best men on it. I don't think those people are too organized. Fairfax County, Virginia. The Midgetville in Vienna, Virginia

was a collection of six small... No, it's not even full of midgets. It's just small. What do you mean? I'm looking for a place where midgets kind of gather up, ally with one another. Did they call it Midgetville? This is...

The Wikipedia is called Midgetville. Refers to a real or legendary community of midgets, people with a form of dwarfism who are normally proportioned or collections of small midget-sized houses. Okay, so these guys are, they're just midget-sized houses they built. They're not even inhabited. What are they like being called again? Little folk?

Little people. We people. That's called, it's just a puzzle. They really shouldn't have named it Midget Town. We're in a hotel room, and somebody just opened our door. Just walked in? Is it...

Maybe he heard you talking about midgets. No, this is cool. I've seen a half a dozen videos that start this way. That's peace. Do what it says. Oh, shit. Kyle, you,

you said the California midget thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. Long Beach, California, or Josh did an urban legend holds that with the success of the 1939 American musical fantasy film, the wizard of Oz,

many of the little people who had acquired their wealth by playing the roles of the munchkins purchased lots in the la linda development of long beach and built homes suited to their needs became known as midget town i mean i'm sure it's a dead city now they don't live that long like what a time saying how high your countertops are supposed to be and stuff like that they should change them. And I wonder how much, if it's cheaper to build houses for midgets. No. For sure. Just raw materials?

Yeah. Yeah, and raw materials. But you got to think. Vaulted ceilings, like seven feet. Everything you know about building houses is shrunk, though. Yeah. And it all changes. Now we have to, instead of, those guys build a house every week.

They're throwing up houses next to a house every week like they're throwing up houses next to me i'm guaranteed they're all the same on the inside like all of a sudden we need fancy tiny midget doors or something well i'll tell you this so i remember going to a barbecue at ralphie may's do you guys know who ralphie may was yeah yeah he's a great big fat person yes exactly and i told him it was at a barbecue and I go, Hey, I got to take a dump. He goes, Joshua, go upstairs and use my bathroom. Oh, wow. And so I went up and I, you know, dropped my pants and sat on the toilet and fell right through.

I didn't think about it. He had an extra large toilet. And I came downstairs, I go, Ralphie. And he started laughing. He goes, did you follow my toilet? And I go, he goes, I got, Ralphie. And he started laughing. He goes, did you follow my toilet? And I go, what? How big? He goes, I got tired of breaking regular toilets. You got tired of it. Dude, if that's, you will never find a wake up call

if you're like calling specialty plumbers to titanium reinforced your. Prison toilet. Yeah, this is called Kingdom of the Little People in China. Now, whether or not they live in those homes behind them, or if they're just for show, I don't know. Dude, look at those armed ones down front and in the back.

You know what you wouldn't believe this? High crime area. I would not fuck with... That guy looks scary. I don't want to mess with him. I think they snuck a kid in there. It looks like they built a shire. Why couldn't they just put them in regular houses?

Why are they armed? Because they have to guard their king. Look at the king in his little golden... Is it Halloween? It's Christmas there. What the fuck? Look at the sneakers.

The sneakers really take you out of it. I'm having a hard time suspending my disbelief when all those tiny Santas have Nikes on. I do wonder, is there a country that has the highest percentage? Per capita. Bring that picture back up, Zach.

Look at this dude on the right the absolute lady killer of midget town in his jacket look at that guy real short obviously but look at this jacket he's got

swag he's got charisma did you catch the guy in the top center like if you look at yellow and go the very top Double thumbs? I like double thumbs No, above double thumbs He's touching his sunglasses I don't know if that's a midget

That's just a tall kid or something Man, you can tell the king has that kind of Imagine your kid had low self-esteem You just let him go to this place and rough him up This is where the first attraction They don't actually live there the king has that kind of... Imagine your kid had low self-esteem and you just let him go to this place and rough him up. This is where the first attraction... They don't actually live there like this. Dude, it's China. They might make them live there. Would you go visit?

Would you go visit? No. I would feel sorry for them. I don't even go to the zoo because I don't want to... Dude, they'll eat right out of your hand. You put a quarter of food out of that machine You're like flat palms Flat palms they bite You don't pet the little people

They won't perform unless they have food Held over their head They look like I imagine little people would be thieves. I think that's bigoted. I just... I don't know why. Yeah, that's really racist, and besides, you're thinking of gypsies. They're down there by my pockets.

They'd be the worst thieves. Have you seen their hands? They're perfect for getting into pockets and grabbing things without us knowing. Yeah, they're like part of Ocean's Eleven, dude. No, not at all. A good pickpocket's hands are going to be like long, slender like a violinist's hands.

Yeah, like a raccoon's hands. Yeah. It's definitely... If you're trying to get close to somebody... 40,000? Definitely a lady would be a better pickpocket. If a hot lady sidled up to you in a crowded bus or something you'd be like yeah come on over here right if you wouldn't find

space you'd be like you might even start talking to her but if a dude like sidles up to you you can feel the heat coming off his big man body you're like fuck let me get away from this dude jesus like you would let a lady get close and then she's got those sneaky hands and if she touched you you might take it as flirting yeah yeah not in your pocket especially in my pocket yeah maybe she's gonna find i don't have anything in there it's just straight to the straight to my cock i love the idea that you put holes in the bottoms of both pockets just in case somebody else puts their hands in there yeah he's on his like he's on his ninth phone of the year but eventually just cut the pockets right out you guys are saying you wouldn't go if you

were in the neighborhood in shangqing shangqing or szechuan or whatever. You wouldn't pop by? I'd go. I would go. I feel sorry for them. I legitimately do. You don't have to bully them. You can... I'm going to be tempted, Taylor. When in Rome.

When in Midgetville. When in Midgetville. I find midgets to be the most rare of all minorities because i was talking to my girlfriend about this the other day i've only seen one midget in the wild in my life come on i've only seen one that can't be true there's no way i i still remember seeing them in like uh in orlando it's the only midget i've ever seen in the wild i find them to be the rarest of all minorities. They are. They are

rare. And they're hard to spot. I was going to say, maybe you just don't see them, dude, but we see them. Yeah. You saw one last night? Where? Did you make a wish? Vegas? She was getting in an Uber

and I saw her jump into the car and I heard a little Super Mario sound effect and she jumped out. I wasn't a midget. She just got stepped on by a Goomba. Honestly, if I was a midget, I would have in my pocket playing all the time.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. I just kind of run around. Yeah. I throw mushrooms around. I'd want to move to a place where they're wildly superstitious. And I would just take the roll of the dice that they were going to worship me and not like eat me. I think I'd just hang myself with a really short rope. Actually, a really long one, huh?

That'd be tough. I think your neck is so so much girthier than than the standard body hang you just take it like danny davido yeah i remember danny davido when he tried to hang himself and sunny and he couldn't do it can't do it i don't know dinklage that head is so much bigger than the body i feel like the rope would get right underneath there he'd flip upside down and just slide out it depends what it depends what kind of what style you are. Yeah.

What your skill points are in. Maybe I'll just jump off something high. I have a lot of questions. Could you do mushrooms and become normal size? No, you could do that. Mark, you jumped off a building. Yeah, first floor, just right to the crush. Right to the crush.

You can jump as a midget. Anything's high. That's true. You can't ride a little like that. Because not's true you can't ride like that because like not only do you have like the tiny penis clearly but you've also just everything in life i don't know so guys do you remember so i was on a show called chelsea lately and there was a uh guy named chewy on there who was her yeah chewy you know his first Chewy, you know, his first job, he was in porn. I was going to say, Kyle's like, yeah,

midgets have the tiny penis. And the three of us are like, uh-uh-uh. You can tell 75% of these hosts have seen midget porn. He had a regular son's penis. Because I remember asking him, my job on the show is I produced his segments. So I would go in pre-show and we'd go but we'd end up talking and i was like chewy like you weren't porn huh and he goes yeah i go but

like and he goes i have a regular size dick josh and i was like what's regular size for who and does a regular size dick look super big on you? Like if Shaq has a regular-sized dick, it's got to look... Yeah. He has to. You see his girlfriend? He'd split her in half if things were all the correct proportions. Zach, can you find a good picture of Shaquille O'Neal? Yeah, but now you're assuming that dwarf vaginas aren't also the same size.

Yeah, show me Shaq with that tiny Asian hottie that he was walking around with. That's a great point, Taylor. Yes, it is. Yeah, show me Jack with that tiny Asian hottie that he was walking around with. That's a great point, Taylor. Yes, it is. If you think of midget porn, regular large dicked dudes are having sex with them. So the vagina must be a regular-sized vagina? You know, they're pretty normal size from neck to groin, really. Yeah.

Again, it all depends, like, the flavor, the style of midgetry you have. Look at that. That poor thing. She's not a midget. That's just shit. Just the tip is your only option. I mean. Whoa. Kid.

What? Is that? Can that be real? That looks photoshopped. Is that too? I don't know, what is that? Can that be real? Is that too? I don't know. Is she genuine? She must just be a tiny person too,

because I know he's seven feet over to make himself small. Can you go back to the picture with the jorts? Those would be pants on me, right? Yeah. Yeah. Those would be Jean Co's on us. Yeah. Those are JCO jeans for sure. She could fit in that pants, like her whole right? Yeah. Those would be JNCOs on us. Yeah, those are JNCO jeans for sure.

She could fit in that pants like her whole body. Yeah, that could be like a sundress for her. That's a sleeping bag for her. Shaquille O'Neal is a giant. Have you guys ever met Shaq? I have. No. He's so much bigger than you think. Like he's big, big, big.

You met Shaq? How has this not come up? He was at MLG Raleigh woody i met andre the giant really an even bigger shack i met him in an airport and i remember shaking his hand and just being like my my it just disappeared i was a child at the time but it was i couldn't believe there was a human being that was just walking around earth and i also remember thinking i'm so glad i'm not flying on his plane because oh he's probably in the middle where's he sitting with your luck right next to you yeah it's a front he'd have to like i think get out like a bucket from the pissing you ever see that i'm trying to find it but there's a picture of him

um holding like a can of beer here it is oh yeah like look at his hand holding this fucking can of beer a normal can of beer a 12 ounce can of beer and he could like he would do like drinking feats well not even that it was just his normal drinking was extraordinary. He was getting a ride somewhere and in the back, he drank 30 or 40 beers on the way there. He would drink eight bottles of wine at dinner. That looks like

a V8. You can imagine how fast he'd go through those. he's just sipping them down let me ask you a question all you guys a question your ideal size because i would never want to be that big yeah right but what's the ideal size for you six i think six three or six four six four is perfect yeah six four is definitely the the ultimate height you get taller than six four and you start lending yourself to looking very gangly and like some weird proportions. 6'4, like a lean 205 would be sort of ideal.

Like strong. I feel like people have gotten taller in my lifetime. So like at my age, I'd say 6'2 for my generation and 6'3 for the next one. He's 6'3 and he's half Jewish, half Asian, so that doesn't make sense at all. It's like two negatives made a positive. Wow. He's rarer than

midgets. Yes. A tall Asian Jew is like, I don't know how that works. Yeah, right. Don't even try to find a problem on his taxes. I had a hockey teammate once. It's crazy. It's all Asian Jew who's bad at math. Wow.

He's an awful team. That guy's an anomaly. Yeah, I had an Asian hockey player teammate with a giant dick on my team. What? We all showered together. Yeah. He was just fucking hanging dong as Asian as could be.

Dude, Asian hockey player already. You're in. He was good too. He was one of our best players. Dude, this guy had everything going for him. Asshole.

Then he became a, is he that astronaut? He's an astronaut. Do you know about this guy? There's a guy who was like a Navy SEAL astronaut doctor. You're not familiar with this dude? No. There's this, there's this Asian guy? There's a guy who was like a Navy SEAL astronaut doctor. You're not familiar with this dude? There's this Asian guy. He's like

Captain Yang and he's an American obviously and he became like a special forces operator, physician, like medical doctor and then astronaut. Yeah. And he's pretty attractive too. Hey, leave some pussy for the rest of us. You know what I'm saying? Thank God he's pretty attractive too. Leave some pussy for the rest of us.

You know what I'm saying? Thank God he's up in space. Can you pull up his Wikipedia page? He's up there getting alien poon now. Wait. That checks a lot of boxes for every dude. Yeah. If you got to go send somebody

to meet the aliens, you at least want this guy in the group, right? It makes sense. I kind of want him in charge in the group. It makes sense. I kind of want him in charge of the group. He can fly us up there and he can patch us up and he can kill him if we need to. This is the guy. This is one of those guys that you hope is 20 years older than you

and then you look it up and he's not. Oh, no. Johnny Kim? Johnny Kim. What a fucking cool name. He's like a cartoon character. I like to believe his parents are still not. Get me! The president's like, get me Johnny Kim What a fucking cool name I like to believe his parents are still not Get me Johnny Kim

Get me Johnny Asian tiger parents Are over there like astronaut Doctor Navy SEAL no lawyer huh If he has brothers or sisters They fucking hate This guy Man I hope he's short With my whole being If he has brothers or sisters, they fucking hate this guy.

Man, I hope he's short. I hope he's short with my whole being. There's no way. There's no way. He's not short. He's probably 6'5". And you know what? He fucks perfect.

He fucks perfect. He's so good at it. He's coming up with business ideas while he's coming. Like, that's called robust business ideas. He's about to with business ideas while he's coming. Robust business ideas. He's about to come in 2001 and he's like, I have an idea for a ride sharing app called Uber. I'm too busy to invest my time in this. But maybe you take it. Dude, I just looked up the Andre the Giant drinking record.

And this is world confirmed guinness book uh 119 12 ounce bottles of beer in six hours what that's what he drank that's what he drank that's 20 an hour for six hours yeah yeah which means every three minutes he was opening and finishing a full beer. It seems like that's all you'd be doing. Yeah, you'd want to get a keg. Why doesn't he get a keg? Get his book verified. Yeah, that's probably what he was doing.

But I couldn't do that to V8s. That would be maybe equivalent. I don't think most people... Normal people couldn't do that with water. How much fluid is that? 118 times 12. It's incalculable. I wish I could help you. Let me just off the top of my head.

It's 1,428 ounces of fluid. It's a lot. How many gallons is that? It's 119 beers. Not 118. That is like...

Do I have that much fluid in my body right now? I think that's 9 gallons of beer. That must be 9 gallons of beer. That's baffling. That's roughly 9 gallons of beer. Did he ever not pee? Was he just...

Oh, he's pissing the whole time. Yeah, he had to take the seal. You know he's pissing the whole time yeah he had to break the seal yeah you know he'd shit in the bathtub when he'd go to uh to a hotel for sure damn that what he's healthy may he's not sitting on these toilets that's true yeah he he would have to like squat over the toilets and then just paint like oh he shit in the bathtub yeah he just shit in the bathtub. And then it was some poor Hispanic woman's problem the next morning. He'd waffle stomp it down. Do you think he had solid?

No, actually, he wasn't waffle stomping any solid shit down. He was drinking 120 beers. It was full liquid. I had a friend of mine who used to shit in the shower and waffle stomp it down in college. What? A hot chick. A hot chick. And I told him, I go, go you know the toilet's right next to the shower and he said i don't like shitting when my assholes wet it doesn't feel comfortable and i was like you're doing it in the shower right yeah you're you've

taken a problem that doesn't exist on a normal toilet and introduced it he just likes shitting in the shower, man. There's no excuses for that. He made something up real quick. That guy's a ghoul. I don't like that one bit. That's rude. It's one of the grosser things.

Yeah, maybe something happened to him once on a toilet. Well, he's one of the few guys that I know has no shame about shitting on an airplane. Oh. I've never shit on an airplane. See, I have no problem shitting on an airplane oh i've never shit on an airplane see i i have no problem shitting in public some people are like oh i can't go shit in the walmart bathroom like i need to wait till i get home like that's totally fine shitting in public a plane though like i will hold it because i see it as like a i see it as an assault i see as rude. It's rude to shit on a plane.

That's for peeing. Wait till the terminal. Get it together. And emergency. Oh, Jacob doesn't agree. Jacob, tell him. Hey, man. If you got to go, you got to go.

I'll shit anywhere. I blow up bathrooms at fucking holiday parties. No way. Yo, dude, you remember that Christmas party? Yeah. At Liz's house where you shit. You shit in the only bathroom? You're a terrorist.

In the only bathroom, okay? And I waited in there to let it air out a little bit and occasionally peeked my head out to see if anybody was waiting and then just left the door wide open. And then 10 minutes later, Liz, the owner of the house, walks by and she goes, wait, what the

fuck is that smell i was right next to you too it was a good time right next to me oh that is bad when you're like at a get together at an apartment or something like right next to the kitchen i'll poop anywhere i'll shit on the floor right now if i need to what i believe there's better options no i don't believe it like that superdome scenario it's been an hour and he's shitting but it wouldn't and you know call me high-minded but it's not that i would be embarrassed to shit on the plane it's that i'm putting myself in the shoes of like someone else having to go in after me knowing that they're also trapped like if i i've you ever all of us have gone into bathrooms on airplanes and someone clearly shit and i get like i kind of angry about it where i'm like you fucking piece of shit like whereas if you walk into like at a ballpark or a walmart or a grocery

store whatever it's like it smells like shit of course it does people shit here but it's it's because we're all we're all in this together up in the sky and for someone to just throw all courtesy to the wind i shit before i leave my home like when i wake up in the morning it's because we're all in this together up in the sky. And for someone to just throw all courtesy to the wind. I shit before I leave my home. When I wake up in the morning, it's part of my morning routine as much as washing my face or brushing my teeth. There's no emergency shits in my life. For me, pooping, it's not that I won't poop in public,

but it's an emergency situation. If you're shitting at the airport, it's an emergency. Can I tell you what I heard coming out of a stall? I can imagine. Yeah, probably. I'm washing my hands and I just hear this dude behind me go,

why is this happening to me? We've all been there, brother. I wish you replied that. You know what, boy? You know what you should. He's like, Lord, I haven't spoken to you in a long time.

I'll shit if I need to go and it's i'll definitely try to go before a long flight if i'm gonna fly six or seven hours like i would absolutely because i don't and piss i i have to piss in almost every movie i watch so i won't even drink a drink if i go to the movies like i i would i want to get the big popcorn and like a cherry coke or something if i'm at a movie but i know if i eat the popcorn i'll drink all the coke and i'll have to piss and i'll miss the thing in the middle so i just sit there dry mouth so i don't have to go i pee before i get on planes and i sit up again i because i don't want to i don't want to get up if i don't have i don't i don't want to piss on the plane i really don't i don't want i don't want to get up it's it's annoying getting up i feel like i'm inconveniencing people and that tray's moving up or carts moving up and down and everything

if you're in like the tippy front of first class it's so nice because then you can just not only have a little more leg room and there's not a seat in front of you there's a wall but you can just pop up and it's like you've got your own bathroom i've told the story before but we were on a virgin flight and this peasant comes out the back back there up into first class and by the way first class on virgin is this magenta glow that they that they these lights they turn on it's all black but it's magenta leds and you feel like you're in the fucking future flying somewhere and here comes this tiny little asian lady she walks into our fucking into our seats like like between our legs and the seat in front of us

and starts talking to us, questioning how much these seats cost. How much your ticket costs? How much this cost? It's nice. Oh, how much is this? And my friends wake, but I'm not saying anything. I'm pretending like I'm asleep.

And my friend wakes up and she's like, what, what is this? She's just being questioned by this tiny Asian lady. And then the lady tried to use the bathroom. But go! They escorted her back. She's trying to build rapport so she could use your bathroom. How do you feel about the people in back coming up front to use first class

bathrooms? It's wrong. Try and stop me, bitch. We're paying like 170%. I can use the bathroom or use the aisle. The choice is yours. I just barged into the first of the class and I'm like, the official air marshal business! The real air marshal

caps you immediately. Those guys are hard in the paint. The best shooters in government agency, bar none, are the fucking air marshals. Are you making this up? No. The training they go through,

like the level of precision that's required, because it's not a question as to whether you're going to be in a dangerous environment firing. You will be. Every time you pull your gun out, you're going to be on an airplane at altitude with friendlies everywhere. So you've got to be like the best of the best with that Glock. They're another level. Also, kyle can i ask you if there's a hole if they miss and there's a hole in the plane does

that yeah fuck everything up nah we'll be all right no there's not enough pressure it's it's uh even in space even in space if that happened we'd be all right so that's a science fiction what you got to think That's a movie thing? Yeah, because what you've got to keep in mind is the atmospheric pressure is only like 13 or 14 PSI where we are in a cabin. Here on Earth, we're under 13 or 16.

It's somewhere in there. It's in the low teens of PSI. Same thing if we're in a space capsule or an airplane. Punching a hole in it just means there's now a... It's like if you had a tire with 16 PSI in it and you put a hole in it just means there's now a... It's like if you had a tire with 16 PSI in it and you put a hole in it, it'd go psst. And you could put your finger right over that shit. Nothing would happen. Even in space.

In space, you could put your finger over that shit. There was a hole in the International Space Station. It took them a few days to find it. And they think... They didn't really pan it down on anyone, but it seemed like someone operated a drill and accidentally poked the side of the space station. No shit. Yeah.

This is like four years ago, something like that. You'd think it'd be a micro-meteorite or something, some little piece of shit the size of a grain of salt moving at 20,000 kph or something. That's a good theory, too. I only know what I read. But yeah, that's one of the things that annoys me in movies. There's a scene in Alien 4

where she flicks some acid on the window and she sucks the big alien out. Like its back sticks to the hole in the wall and it sort of disembowels it from the inside, like vacuums it out. I have an update. So Russia is suing NASA for that hole. It was 1 16th of an inch, 2 millimeters.

And they think it was a NASA guy who accidentally made that hole. Okay. What forensic experts they are to pin down what hit their space station in space and figure out it was an American. If you make that hole, that's one of those ones where you look around and you're like,

well, you probably just sneak. You're not telling anybody, hey, I made a hole in the shark. Put a piece of tape on it and hope someone else discovers it. They don't know. Like, all right, I'm only up here for another 11 months. Maybe I can make it home in time. It could have been anyone. Yeah, it could have been anyone.

I guess I imagined a lot more cameras running at all times in the space station. That they would put a hole in it? Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. They fixed it with a piece of tape for a while did one of the americans did one of the americans cop to it or were they just like oh what no to making the hole like did it did is that why oh oh wait wait i misunderstood i thought that they were on a different space station and they were saying one of our astronauts

dropped a nickel and it hit their shit. You're saying that we were all in the International Space Station together and somebody drilled a fucking hole hanging their poster and it was the Americans. Yes, that's what they're saying. All right, I believe that. That seems more realistic. Yeah.

Josh, I know it was short and I know you got a show. Thanks for popping by. We'll have to do a longer one soon. I would love to come back on. I'm in Philly next week and Austin the week after. Okay. And so we'll get your I'm in St.

Louis, Kyle's in Atlanta and Woody is in North Carolina. Probably. Right. Oh, there you go. Well, Philly and Austin, that's not close to any of you guys. Nope. No, it is not. I will not see you there, but if you're in those cities, check out Josh's links

below and go see him. Go tell him we say hi. Guys, let's do it again soon. I appreciate you very much. Yeah, of course. Have a good show, man. Take care. Thanks, guys. Later. Later. Okay. Yeah, Kyle Kyle I was wondering why you were you just close the browser tab I was wondering why you're taking such umbrage with the idea

that someone on the International Space Station would make a mistake and cause that yeah I thought they were suggesting that like some space junk that America caused had randomly hit their shit but because that would be ridiculous to say. Cause maybe fucking Igor up there caused it.

And they're like, we got to get out in front of this. Unless what do you read an article? Did, did someone confess to it? Did they fess up? I didn't see that. They,

but they thought it was a NASA guy. I don't know. I picture somebody new to this space station, hanging posters like every college freshman. With a power drill. Just a picture of an almost nude woman. Or if it's a girl, a cat that says, hang in there. Yeah. Hang in there.

That is such a classic poster. I hopefully, man, if that's up, I hope, what am I even saying? It's a bunch of nerds up there. It's probably like Harry Potter shit. Are they? they yeah they're nerds the rings maybe cool people don't depend on what you're talking about the guys who are cool people don't become astronauts well a lot a lot of them that are doing the flying and like the actual astronaut shit are air force they're like fighter pilots and shit right test yeah but the air Force also is bullied by the other military arms. Somebody's got to fly that rocket ship.

I don't know. I'm making this up, but I thought that in the old days, when they were landing on the moon, it was absolute jocks who were up there, just in case we had to get into a fist fight with a space lizard. But nowadays, it's like engineers and botanists and stuff, but I'm not sure I'm right. They definitely send engineers and botanists up there. But I think of the guys

who are like the NASA astronauts who are the ones who take you up there as like air force badasses. I wonder if there's an easier way to get on it. Like if it's known, a quick parallel, I was a swimmer. I swam butterfly stroke and I was pretty good at it, but it helped that nobody wants to swim butterfly. It is by far the hardest stroke. And therefore every practice you're absolutely getting your ass kicked. It's difficult. If you go less than like 85%, you can't even breathe. Every other stroke can be done slowly, but not butterfly. So it's like there are fucking no female butterflies. If you're a female butterfly you might be world

class because you're willing to fucking do it is it like nobody wants to be a botanist in space is there an easier route a less competitive avenue into space i think everyone would be saving up for 20 million dollars there's definitely a tier to it like yeah like the the the engineer who's in charge of fixing shit on the space station that keeps it flying around with all that magic. Like that's the fucking guy. That's the engineer. Whereas like a botanist, there could be a hundred brilliant botanists who are just like, yeah, you know what I like about botany is being on a terrestrial world where plants are. That's a big part of it for me.

And so they have to take like number 102, send him up to the space station. And then he, and then like, that also takes a little bit of bravery too, because if shit goes awry as the space station botanist, you know, like you are not a priority.

Like you're like, Hey, what'd you figure out about plants? Oh, they still don't grow up here bud okay like only if you bring here up there with you yeah we're gonna we're gonna bring johnny kim and his yeah but they grow in the zero gravity back that's the important part i guess it's this well i think growing in the native soil is important too the native soil of like the moon mars wherever you are i like i mean they could

grow in martian soil they just need to add the chemicals to it well then we're back to it only grows if we bring us here like if you bring the earth with it well well the idea isn't to terraform a planet and grow i think they're doing that for for a lot of reasons you know the idea of having a sustainable, um, space station or like a long time term colony ship. They just wanted to know if shit would work up there. You know, you ever see where they have the spiders up there,

how they do their webs differently. No, but that's interesting. Zach, can you show me a picture of a space spider web? The, um, spider guy up there.

Right. It's the easiest way to get up there. One of the rackets. That's absolutely the easiest way. Yeah. Just some congressman's nephew. I want to learn how spiders do

webs in space. He's like, man, I can't even imagine an application for this. You mean we're going to bring spiders to the new world? What are we doing? Okay, so the right one's Earth and the left one's confusing. Good thing they didn't take it with a good camera right man what year was this taken the 50s right you can put a man on the moon but you

can't take a picture of a spider struggling with these photos but in any case the webs were different i think he's having a hard time i think one one of the lefts is all a jumble and the one on the right looks like a... Probably nauseous. Basically a normal... Spider on the left is a lot bigger. Yeah, it seems like they're having a hard time doing webbing on the left there. It just looks like a mess. Well, imagine how much money that

cost. I mean, not much. You just had to get the spider up there. Yeah, spiders are free, dude. You don't have to pay for them. I guess that's true. I guess that's the one cost effect. That's how he sold it. He's like, a spider weighs a tenth of a gram

and I got them on me right now. I got a vial of spiders in my pocket. I got one in my armpit. Then all the other astronauts are like, do not send the vial of spiders guy up here with us. We're trying to learn about asteroids and mining. This guy's goofing around with bugs.

If we do terraform Mars, I don't see a reason to bring spiders. Because we're not going to bring the bugs that we need spiders here to eat. You're not going to bring locusts. They do seem like a low priority, right? I think we'll leave the spiders at home. We'll bring the bees. What does it take to terraform? It seems like if you could just get something

to grow and die, then another thing could grow in that and you'd eventually have oxygen and carbon dioxide. Someone could figure out terraform. It seemed easy when I read it. A huge amount of formerly living matter, right? We can start small. Yeah. Are you talking about Mars

in particular? Because the plants need to take in. Let's start with the moon. Let's not get bananas here. I read a sci-fi book where they explained the strategy for... The nature of this sci-fi book was that someone put a sphere around Earth so that our time stood still kind of while everything else raced forward.

So we wanted to leave Earth and go somewhere where time was normal. And they were going to terraform Mars. And they made it seem like a feasible thing. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get some algae on there that requires very little except sunlight. And then it grows and dies and grows and dies and then more complex things can start going. And I understood it when I read it, but I can't explain it.

It must be more complicated than that then. Because otherwise, Musk or one of those guys who are obsessed with this would have sent some algae up there. Or they probably have and it just dies. We don't have any magic algae. That's the thing. They made up a thing that works. All you need is that thing that needs nothing and makes oxygen yeah well sci-fi books are pretty terrible when you

use realism and it's like oh the it's an uninhabitable wasteland i guess that's what i was gonna say zach like part of it is the the thing's core stops spinning or it doesn't have a core or whatever an iron one so it doesn't have a magnetosphere. It's a radiation land. Sure, you might be able to go on the surface and do your thing, be there for six months, and you might not get cancer, but you've got to get plant life to live and exist there, ecosystems to exist there in the radioactive

wasteland of Mars that's getting scorched by all those solar rays that aren't deflected because, again, they don't have any sort of magnetosphere bouncing it off. You ever see the magnetic field of the Earth and how you can see how it it's just a big protective field

bubble that we're wrapped in that keeps us from dying from any number of space things. Well, do any of the other planets that are nice looking have that? Venus maybe? Nice looking? Venus? Lead melts on the surface of Venus. The Russians, the Soviets rather sent stuff, sent, uh, landers there in the seventies and have pictures

from the surface and stuff. They'd landed on the surface, took photos and sent them back readings of all sorts. That's not the place you want to go either. Okay. Well, Mercury is probably very hot. It's, it's also very tiny. It's just a big ball of metal up there. Then why are we set on Mars? Because it's the closest thing to what we have. But you said it doesn't have that core. Nope, sure doesn't. So then it's a little bit dead in the water.

Yep, yep. Oh, well, that's not fun. If you're going to live on Mars, the way it would have to work is you would be underground. You'd be living underground in a cave system. That's what we're doing in Mars. Just being bombarded by radiation from the sun. No radiation down there.

You're underground in a cave system, then you're fine. You could have life there. There's water there. If you went up to that big place where there's a huge frozen ice sheet and went underground and used the water from that ice and the gases from that ice to make your underground ecosystem growing algae sure whatever or some you'd have to maybe you bioengineered some sort of plant that makes a

lot of oxygen and just grows rapidly and underground conditions powered by your electrical lights like make the thing that you need to keep you going but you're never going to be on the surface of Mars with blue skies and fucking... You're telling me enough people standing on the surface with hairspray can't create a little bit of a deal? We've got another hole in the ozone actually because of CFCs

or whatever they are. That's back again. Is it? Yeah. Where's the hole? I think it's over the Arctic, I believe. I don't even know. Where's the hole? Where's the hole? I mean, they can see it.

Scientists can. I think it's in the Arctic as far as I know. Nothing's going on up there. It's fine. All those poor animals. All those poor polar bears have a hard enough time already. I think the polar bears are doing solid, right? No.

Their habitat's being taken from them. And they're sort of evolving, devolving into growler bears. They're having to interbreed withving into growler bears. You know, they're having to interbreed with the grizzly bears. No idea. I have no idea what direction polar bear populations are going in.

You can imagine, though, they're polar bears and we have a bit of a global warming situation where their habitat has been melting for the last hundred years. I thought you told me

there was like a bunch of ice up there. There was more than like the 70s or some shit. I did not tell you that. There's less. There's told me there was like a bunch of ice up there. There was more than like the seventies or some shit. I did not tell you that there's less, there's less than there was in the 1997s and the last year. Yeah. There's,

there's less ice than there was last year. You know what I mean? So like, it's, that's the only time I care. Like when, when I hear about global warming, I think about those poor polar bears up there looking real sad.

Cause every now and then I'll see a polar bear at the zoo and they just dumped out a big bucket of ice and he just lays in it like oh a whiff of home he just lays on this pile of ice in this hot San Diego fucking field he's in while we gawk at him as he shits

in a cage this apex predator the biggest land predator in the world I think poor guy laying on a pile of fucking ice. I feel sorry for the zoo animals. I really do. When the Ukraine thing happened, that's what I was sending money for. Like, yeah, I'll figure, we'll figure bullets out for you. You'll figure them out for yourself.

But there's like dog shelters that are blowing up and nobody's getting the puppers out. I don't like that. No. Gotta give him a hand. well i guess i guess we do want to be on the lookout for the polar bears pretty neat i mean then again they wouldn't do anything for us yeah that damn thing they'd eat us they'd eat you in in half a second and they'd pull your liver out to feast dude did you see the internet question going If your daughter is lost in the woods, would you rather her found by a man

or a bear? Yeah, a person. I heard it as your daughter, but maybe I heard it differently than normal. Yeah, it started out as like you, because they're asking whores, they're asking they're asking whores on podcasts, like, hey whore on a podcast, would you rather bump into a man

or a bear walking, you know, jogging through a path in the woods, and all of them say a bear? Hey, whore, are you going to give the answer that's reasonable or the one that drives engagement to your only fans? I'm going to give the engagement driving answer. No one actually wants to see a bear more than a dude with like a flashlight. Go read the Reddit comments. Yeah, no, I have friends that do it's right so in my uh i have these like flying facebook messenger chats everybody from florida would rather see a bear what does that say about florida what does it say about people and what kind of bear are we talking i'm not just

up on this uh you don't have any details on the bear or the man that's part of the question okay am i lost in the woods or i'm just in the woods in my question it was a daughter but if it's you i don't know if that makes a difference it does men are less scary to men i think okay if my daughter's lost in the woods that's the whole point that's all crux of the question is that it's a woman okay and and is the woman lost or is she just out and about she's jogging through the woods and she's going to come upon a man or a bear. Which would you prefer, ladies? They all say bear.

Okay, well then they're retards. You want a grizzly bear? So you went straight to grizzly or polar, right? There are other kinds of bears. The implication is that it is a grizzly bear. The whole crux of the question, again, is that would you rather run into an apex predator or a man? That's the real question.

We say bear because bears are big, scary predators. Nobody who formed the question or whom is answering the question is imagining a koala bear or a cuddly bear. We're picturing a scary monster. Kyle, I didn't watch the horror podcast. By the time the question got to me, it was... We didn't watch the horror podcast, Kyle. We're sorry. I me, it was... We didn't watch the horror podcast, Kyle. We're sorry. I didn't either. I'm just filling

in the gap for those who can. When it got to me, it was your daughter's lost in the woods. It's so funny because I agree exactly with what you're saying. Of course. You have to be a stone-cold retard to be like, oh, my daughter's out in the woods. I'd rather

her come across a hungry bear who's a apex predator than a dude who could probably, not probably, I'll say 100% be more adept at getting someone out of the woods. Hang on, is it a white guy? Oh, now. No details on the man or the

bear. Exactly, you see the point? It's a man. It's a man. That's what matters because it's not about race because that would make people uncomfortable it's about it's about men and how toxic masculinity is and how women have to live in fear of men every day because they've been trained to go play with your parents ladies i think i'd rather bump into the bear Just because I think bears are fucking cool, right? Like, I want to see a bear Dude, a bear's gonna fuck you up so quickly

Depends on the bear I've chased all of them I could outrun a bear You cannot outrun a bear You cannot outrun a bear I can run like the wind, Taylor You don't even know First of all, the bear doesn't know it's in a race

So when I take off He's gonna be a little confused at first I'm way ahead of him When the bear sees you running That grizzly instinct is going to be like, pray. And then it's not a big cat. Praying's not going to help, big boy.

You can't catch me. It's not a big cat that's going to go clump. I'm telling you, I'm 100% on this. In your scenario, the bear still doesn't win the race because he stops when he catches Kyle, huh? Now nobody wins. He wins when he's shitting kyle out into a cave

top speed's only 30 miles per hour taylor you don't think you can run 30 miles per hour you're right shit only 30 my bad damn that's okay i was prepared to lie and that's faster than i thought they could go 30 miles an hour those are big yeah dude so why so what is uh is this one of those questions though where it's just like idiots signaling to each other where it's like oh men are so dangerous i'd rather see a bear but like you get them out in the woods and it's like he hey either a random dude pops out from behind that tree or a fucking grizzly bear that weighs a thousand pounds and sees you as a snack yeah you can't i'm telling you like it's an

interesting question i i like that question a lot um and women will 90 of the time they will say they will say they'd rather bump into the no women on the internet who are lying for engagement will say that in reality ask your ask your uh lady colleagues in rlL. I bet you'll come back with a lot of ladies who are like, yeah, men are scary. Alone in the woods? Just us? I'm in my sports bra? I don't know.

The bear might not be hungry that day. Maybe I have too much faith in people. Men are always like that. I literally can't imagine someone being so daft that in their heart of hearts, they're like, yes, i'll take my chances with the apex predator who sees me as a delightful treat yeah as opposed to a dude who would more likely than not be like looking for birds or jogging i always picture a nature like it like a trail like here in atlanta we've got lots of like trails where you're pretty alone if you're up

there jogging you know you might see a person every five minutes crossing the other way. I could drag you out in the woods. I'm somewhere near a death scale. Because when I heard bear versus person, I thought, what are the odds that it's one of the dangerous kinds of bears versus one of the dangerous kinds of people? How many men are dangerous if you see them alone in the woods? How many bears are? Because not all bears are dangerous. As a matter of fact, in here, most of them aren't.

Most bears are not grizzly. Women aren't capable of that. They're emotional. I'm daft. I just heard you say it. That's true. You're wanting, look, what you did makes sense because you'd want to get the data.

You'd be like, okay, well, I live in this region of America. That's black bears. The black bear attack um like like per like meeting i have successfully 20 scared off a black bear before now what percentage of men in north carolina are sexual are sexual criminals and you know you like break it down you'd be like ah the math says but a woman would never do that she's like men are fucking scary i don't want to see a man in the woods. I can't. My brain's not capable of imagining a hypothetical bear.

So bear. I think you might be right on that. I like that Kyle describes women as so stupid. They can't imagine bears. Not stupid. And Taylor's like, that sounds right. They can imagine a bear. They could picture one, but they can't imagine what it would be like

to be there in front of a bear. They can't imagine what it'd be like to see something and be terrified. And I pull up a brown bear, a grizzly bear. You ever see an animal and you know that if it stood there and stuck its nose out, you couldn't even make it mad with your hardest blow? Like a bull?

Now imagine a bear that's twice the fucking size. You can't injure it in the slightest. You'd have no chance. If it bent over and presented its asshole, you couldn't hurt it. Kyle mentioned a bull, but like a cow. If you hit a cow as hard as you could, you couldn't even make it mad?

If you hit it in the nose, sure. Okay. That would make it mad, but if you hit it on the top of the head? It would get its attention. The top of the head, he doesn't care? It'd hurt your hand so much. So the top of its head, where it's almost got sort of a human cow lick.

A cow cow lick, which is where it comes from. Up there, its skull is so thick and hard. I've hit it. I've touched it. I've pet it. It's a big, thick rock rock thing they don't care like you'd hurt your hand you'd hurt your hand severely it'd be a rock i'm still like where is where's this big bear conversation happening the internet tiktok facebook messenger big facebook messenger okay Facebook Messenger. Facebook Messenger? Okay. Yeah, TikTok.

Not up on the fucking trend. You don't keep your pulse on. I do not have my finger on the fucking pulse of the bear discourse. I'd like to know what's going on. I've been following this Columbia, all the universities, the, I keep joking, the new Taco Bell, Invitato. Did you see Biden spoke out on it? What did he say?

You'd approve. he basically said like this is a cross-section of the right to free speech and um violence he's like if you stop from someone from going to class if you're destroying property that's not free speech that's not okay they took three janitors hostage in new york that's not free speech yeah i i i think it was only a couple of minutes long, but I walked away being like, well, this doesn't change anything, but I agree with him.

Yeah, well, they're calling him Genocide Joe, so he doesn't have to worry about losing that part of his base anymore. The far left is not down with Joe Biden. I'm not saying they're down with Donald Trump either. Most of them can't vote and don't know how to. They're busy smoking doobies out there at Columbia parking lot. Oh, those college're busy smoking doobies out there.

Those college kids and their doobies. You see those frats? It's the opposite of that, honestly, though. Those kids need to get fucking high. They are way too high strung about this shit. Did you see those frat kids? I sent you the picture. Yeah.

They kept the American flag up. Then I saw a clip of some fat pink-haired bitch coming up to him and being like, you're fucking, insert a million buzzwords, fascist, racist, something phobe.

And then one of the frat guys is like, lose some weight, you fat pig. And every comment's like, based. And it's so funny to see the frat guys just party and having a good time keeping the america the gloves have been once you're standing under a flagpole being pelted with rocks and drinks and beer uh for an hour or so you prop defending the american flag from your fellow students gloves are off with the verbal insults i think at that point yeah my wife and i were talking about we were just disgusted by people taking down the american flag and putting up a palestinian one it doesn't sit right with us well i like seeing the

nypd come in and like fix that you know like taking down the palestinian flag i love uh here in georgia in atlanta at emory university they had a big shit show whatever that's where you might have seen the i'm a professor of economics as she gets fucking tossed to the to the ground and they're like look at them they slammed her head on the concrete her head yeah but only once that no not even once like she landed on the grass and her head was over the concrete and her face may have touched it but like you get slammed on the concrete you don't wake up for a while this this big bitch is crying and they're like i don't fucking care ma'am i'm a georgia state

patrol member they're locking them fuck up it's great really enjoy it i uh you know i i get what they're trying to do i don't like don't like seeing Palestinian babies fucking fourth degree burn so that you can see them looking like a piece of meat in a window. That's just disgusting. I hate that that's happening. As Woody always says when this comes around, fuck around and find out. Woody, he says they deserved it.

I watched a podcast of... The guy was from the right, but he's a never-Trumper, so I don't know if he's guy was from the right but he's a never trumper so i don't know if you still consider from the right and uh um anyway he compared it to the reddit subreddit the subreddit am i the asshole and he's like everybody sucks here it's really hard to defend what's happening to palestinians it's really hard to defend what's happening to the israelis it's like everybody sucks here yeah it's and you can't and you can't file like like walk a thin line between you're almost not allowed to say i don't want genocide in palestine i don't want babies

burnt i don't want aid workers directly targeted that's the thing that gets me that's the thing i really don't like because look if you the mexicans came over and did what they did to us and and you know southern texas things would get rough. But they wouldn't be like this. Aid would be getting to the people. Children wouldn't be targeted. You wouldn't have people with their hands behind their back

shot and thrown in a pit. We'd ship them to another country and let that happen over there, away from prying eyes. That's what getting those for. It's not how evil they're being or how awful they're being. It's how flag they're being or how awful they're being it's how flagrant they're flagrantly they're they're doing it it's it's they know that there's no breaks for

them that nobody's going to tell them to stop america's going to keep giving them money they can do whatever the fuck they want but on the other hand that october 7th thing was not cool and yeah and uh whatever happens is is directly because happened. So know that as you suffer. Biden, rightly, is taking a lot of heat for what's happening because we're still supporting Israel, right? So you are in tacitly supporting all the bad stuff. You've seen the peer rebuilding? Wait, there's more. Trump, on the other hand, his thing is like, well, what Israel's doing wrong, they have a PR problem.

They need to put some better videos out there. And I'm like like you don't sound like genocide joe we got genocide don over here too like he has the he says israel needs to finish the job doesn't have the same ring to it put some i know it doesn't but uh um you know he needs to make sure that while israel does this they should take some videos of them like feeding puppies or something yeah and i'm like this is not a better all of our politicians just have a fucking boner for israel like they they will say not like do you see the shit like like making like laws about anti-semitism now where like it's like they they get so riled up anything about like a republican from fucking arkansas they'll be like hey in the past few

years like a hundred thousand people have died of like overdoses that are preventable in your state and he'll be like that's a damn shame and then someone on a college campus will be like i don't i don't like this israel stuff and he'll be like we need to shut down the ability to speak i'm doing lindsey graham by the way and we need israel is my greatest ally and i will be killed before i say anything otherwise and it's like what the fuck like why are you this vehement about a foreign country like like this is ridiculous i hate all those hate crime laws like it yeah i don't know like if you say beat up a guy on the street just because you don't like his hairstyle and you beat up another guy because he's jewish or black or whatever same penalty same crime there shouldn't be like a double down

penalty because this guy's a protected group agreed like even like i think my missouri guy uh josh holly has said stuff where he's like you will never i will always support israel you can never stop me from it and it's like whoa, whoa, whoa. You're an American elected official. You shouldn't be saying this shit about any foreign country. If like something is better for Americans. Like as a member of the IDF though, right? Like he, isn't that the guy that wore his IDF uniform? I have no idea about that. I mean, I'm asking like one of the congressmen wore his IDF uniform after the, one of the squad flew the Palestinian flag.

Oh, it, maybe it is him. I don't know. But like seeing American politicians be that vehement and being like, I will never stop supporting this foreign country is like, well, what the what the hell? Like that shouldn't be your number one priority. You're an American. I only care about the war in Ukraine. That's the only one that's old hat. That's old. I saw a video from that recently, and it's a Russian and he's, he's making like a, a Tik TOK video for Russians. And he's just like, send us pump shotguns. We need pump action shotguns. We're being cut apart from the sky. And I was like, Oh, my calling. I would be so good at shooting those drones. I bet. But that's what they were asking for. They want pump-action shotguns to defend against the... What? Pump?

I don't know why he said pump. I mean, obviously, they're cheap and they work. They're $300 a piece, and I don't... I didn't understand. It was a Russian or a Ukrainian guy who said they wanted shotguns? A Russian guy, because they're getting hit by those... I saw a picture of how many drones the Ukrainians have right now, and it was just this mountain of them in boxes. They have so many of these like suicide drones that like are, you know, a guided missile basically operated by a guy. And they're just killing a lot of russians i used to be very excited about the idea that the russian military was getting diminished right so so many tanks getting busted uh armored vehicles etc but now

i kind of feel like russia hasn't been in a real war since what afghanistan and even that one's not i don't know a little different now russia has a lot of military experience that they didn't previously had it's gone from theoretical to genuine china i think when they take their I don't know, a little different. Now, Russia has a lot of military experience that they didn't previously have. It's gone from theoretical to genuine. China, I think when they take their shit and test it in war, they're going to learn a lot. Because China hasn't been in a real war for my lifetime, question mark?

I don't know. A long time. Russia, not too far from that. They're not like America, who likes to do a dust-up every four years or so. They are, though. They've been in Syria fighting continuously with us, in the Middle East fighting ISIS continuously. They were part of America, who likes to do a dust up every four years or so. They are, though. They've been in Syria fighting continuously with us, in the Middle East fighting ISIS continuously.

They were part of the global war on terror, especially with ISIS. I'm sorry, you're right. Yeah, that's a really good point. This is a bigger scale, though, and I do think they're learning a lot from it. You guys, I think it was a couple weeks ago, one of you, or maybe both of you, were like,

Russia has more tanks now than they did at the start of the war. More personnel. Something like that. I read more tanks. I was the one who said that, but I could be wrong. Yeah, and I was like, there's no fucking way. I did see something. I think you guys were right on that. Oh, really? They do have more tanks? You saw that too? I wonder how.

I don't understand how that can be either, but I think you guys were right. I don't know how that can be. I don't know how that could be either, but I think you guys were right. I don't know how that can be. I don't know how that could be. They've lost so many. They've lost thousands, and they haven't built thousands. They're not building new T-34s. It is true.

They're new to us on this stuff. New Tank is the Armada. They've made 12 or something. That's not very many at all. They won't send any of them. The T-90 is what they actually use. It's like the Talos. One thing they do a lot of is upgrade old tanks.

You know, it's like, this is a World War II piece of crap. Yeah, the shell is, you know. Yeah. I don't know. Every time I see the war recently, it's been mostly fighting in trenches with machine guns. So, like, that's, you know, that's the fighting I've been seeing. Fighting in trenches with machine guns. So that's the fighting I've been seeing. Fighting in trenches would suck so bad.

That would suck. And then I saw a double attack and strike on a position of Russians training somewhere today. It's like God's shotgun. Those missiles. That's a great description. It's like God had a double barrel and he lets you

have it with both barrels i'm shocked that russians are still assembling like that so what i saw i'm gonna make up numbers it looked like 150 200 people in 160 oh damn look at me and uh in like what i would call half a football field maybe less than that and i'm like dude that is a lot of people to have standing around they must have been gathered there i bet they wanted to tell them something you have to stop doing that there's drones everywhere they see you and then they attack you and the whole thing takes like four minutes stop giving the ukraine not well or keep doing it but you're giving the ukrainians so many targets why haven't you learned from this yeah it was uh it was pretty crazy and that that shit it's shooting i think it's tungsten um like like chunks moving at the speed of light

basically not really but they're high mars because i i think the my understanding is the attack comes is the is like the missile part that gives it the extra range but i may i may not understand what was going on i know when it went off, whatever it is, it's that. And it was also smoldering and smoking each chunk, giving off some sort of scary gas. That's not dust? I don't know. It was burning.

Like wherever they hit, like on the ground, it seemed like it was burning and giving off. Yeah, it was so cool. Love seeing that stuff get used. Go America. Are there any wars we're not involved in right now, Yeah, it was so cool. Love seeing that stuff get used. Go America. Are there any wars we're not involved in right now? Like really huge ones that we could... Sudan and Haiti and...

Isn't Saudi Arabia beating somebody up? Yemen. Right. I'm sure we're involved in that in some way. Yeah, definitely if the Saudis are. Haiti, I don't know if that's a full-scale war. It's more just like gangland warfare, I guess, where it's just

a bunch of gangs eating people. I heard a YouTuber went down there and got snatched up. What, a YouTuber got snatched up? I heard a YouTuber went down there to interview Barbie and snatched him up. Nobody knows. Nobody knows if he got it. What?

What? It's funny like i i can't i can't imagine what would possess you to go to haiti right now use it views and clicks baby get those subs there aren't enough views though to make up for like it's like i'm to go meet the cannibal warlord of Haiti. If you thought you could get 100 million view video out of going and seeing the cannibal warlord of Haiti, you'd do it. You'd do it. And then the next week, you'd have to find somebody even scarier to interview. That's just an investment, because today you interview Barbecue, tomorrow you interview Putin or something. Like, your next video is going to get a lot of attention, too.

tomorrow you interview putin or something like your next video is going to get a lot of attention too i don't know if that's i bet there's a lot of steps between barbecue and haiti and putin and russia yeah a lot of warlords so you gotta go to somalia for sure a lot of hopping to you know what i would want to see what i genuinely i would love to see an interview where you're interviewing us like the somali captain like the pirate captain of Somalia, and when it cuts back to you, you're dressed as a real pirate. Like an old school one. Yar matey, tell me about what you've been doing on them seas. I'm here in Mogadishu in blackface

to find out what's going on. With a parrot on your shoulder. It's clearly a prop. It's got a black face also. That's an African parrot. Shave my head. Black face. It's an African parrot. It's an African American

parrot. He talks like that. Leave him alone. He's dropping the N-bomb all the time. I'm sorry. I didn't teach him this. I did. I don't know what the Somali pirates are up to. Probably no good. I think the Houthis have taken over that bag.

It seems like they're the ones causing trouble off of Africa and up into those straits. That is close to Yemen. Yemen is kind of Iranian allied. That's where the Houthis are. Aren't you glad we live in the boring part of the world? You know why it's boring? Because we made it that way with our American missiles and power, Taylor.

And everyone is afraid to make it anything but boring here because they know we'll kill them. God made it that way, too. No. If God is the fucking eagle that flies on top of that flag, then yes, we made it that way. I watched a YouTube video that explained why America was geographically so hard to invade, and God did that. Half a dozen countries used to be over here. They aren't anymore.

They're gone. God did that too. No more Frenchmen. You might want to jot that down, Kyle. There aren't any Frenchmen over here. That's true. I think we should take a good chunk of Mexico. I think we should... We need to of Mexico. I think we should... We need to build something down there worth stealing first.

Mexico, I want it. Also, it would really shorten how much wall we have to build. That little peninsula thing down there, you want that? Yes, I want that too. Actually, what we should do is do what Croatia did to Bosnia with Mexico's shoreline mexico's

been just sending fucking people from south america knows what croatia did to bosnia entire fucking coastline can you pull up a map of croatia this is fucking hilarious like we do like mexico's sending all the illegals up to us they're fucking causing problems we hey that's enough beaches for you guys for now get it together we just huge slice their entire pacific coast ours now beautiful beautiful beaches resorts i'm uh i'm still going through dan carlin's supernova in the east about the japanese in world war ii oh look at that and and like not only is it a beach can i just say it's a huge chain of islands like this map is probably

being a bit vague because of the size of the map i bet there's dozens and dozens of those islands there they did give them a little bit i bet there's a port there give them one piece so easy to control like in a military sense like they can just take that away easily yeah look oh my is that man croatia they film game of thrones here i actually think they did do some filming in croatia i'm pretty sure that's the bullshit in croatia i think that's king's landing uh rooftops that you were looking at over there and obviously got the water here for me shocks i gotta say if if they're like so we found two locations there's this beautiful croatian paradise and there's also tucson arizona they have a they have a little town

with red roofs too and you're like let's uh let's get in the plane mark i'm thinking is it good is it nice this time of year he's like it's nice's nice all the time in Croatia. It's beautiful. That's the most beautiful place I've been. Yeah, let's What's the exchange rate in Croatia, Zach? Let's see. Now, what is the Croatian dollar?

Probably something goofy. Be right back. The euro. I guess we should have seen that coming. Oh, there it is, the kuna. I wanted to see what they actually have. Looks like a dollar is seven kuna.

Seven to one. Yeah, but how much does a fucking kuna get you? How far does a kuna go, you know what I mean? Like, what is a loaf of bread? How many kunas is a loaf of bread? You would think, like, a quarter. A quarter of a kuna. Let's see. Croatia

prices for food. Is Croatia expensive? Oh, this is CruiseCroatia.com. This is fucking propaganda. They're not going to fool me. Cost of living. Milk. 27

Euro cents. Okay, that still seems low. What is the... I feel like a retard. What's the name of the smaller denomination within the euro? Like the pennies, the cents. What is it? He said euro cents.

That's probably euro cents. No, I'm making that up. It said 0.27 in the euro sign, and I was like, 20, 25 euros. I don't know. Bits and bobs, whatever those losers name their currency. Bits and bobs. Dude, you can get, oh, that's not that much chicken at all. 0.15 kilograms for 1.

Okay, here we go. Look, Zach's got his chart for us. Okay. Seems pretty similar, honestly. $1,700 a month. Cut out alcohol. Cut out alcohol. Cut out the gym.

Cut out your phone. Double entertainment. Coffee is pricey. There you go, coffee. Jesus. Yeah, $35 a month. Actually, $35 a month for coffee. Is that? that's about right

honestly with my coffee pods and like sweetener and fucking cream and shit you know dude 520 eating out that's so bright that is that's more than rent yeah damn croatia looks nice that'd be a that'd be a fun place to live what language language do they speak? Croatian. Croatian? Mm-hmm. Is it one of those? Serbo-Croatian, right? You're probably right. I don't know if the Balkan area, I don't know if they're all like Italy where most of them speak English.

Actually, Italy is a terrible example, like Germany where they all speak English. I expect those people to speak English. Show some respect. Yeah, English is the global language. Really a hangover from what you were saying during PKN, the English having the most kind of badass, biggest empire of all time. Yeah, they spread it everywhere. Evidence of that is, what are we speaking right now?

What does the whole world speak? Yeah, well, I mean mean a lot of it anyway like like even the countries that i think i wonder what the pop the percentage of indians you know the most populous nation in the world we learned tonight is uh is speaking english because they were a fucking colony forever yeah probably a good bit of them isn't it crazy that that tiny island of england or britain somehow colonized all of of India yeah they were fucking good at it they knew how to run a show hey we're putting trains in here bitch get out of the way we're starting companies we're starting businesses oh you got a problem with it do you guys where's your giant navy hey where's your giant navy India India? I don't see it. I don't see it, India. Oi, bloody, here's ours, though.

We're Australian now. It's crazy how much having a fantastic navy really makes more sense. Who else has a good navy in the planet? Right now. I think the British still have a really good navy right we do we have we have the biggest navy it's not even close um it's it's absurd how is it how not close is the french have a bitch made our aircraft carrier i think the english might england might have a couple um but they're still not what we what we have the chinese only have

like three like the russians don't have any aircraft carriers that are real aircraft carriers china has uh an aircraft carrier they bought from russia that was an old one it has a ramp on the end to let so that the planes can actually take off they're building an aircraft carrier right now and like you can see from the sky that they have scorch marks on their electromagnetic uh launch system and so they clearly haven't figured it out yet. It's sitting in port still being built. If we have more tonnage than the rest of the planet combined. Definitely not the rest of the planet combined, right? I mean, we're at 2 million just with...

More relevant tonnage, because another thing you got to keep in mind is like, what is that 1.125 of China's? I bet a lot of it is is nonsense no we have if you do the math we absolutely don't there's some surprises on here oh what are you surprised by greece i didn't think greece would have a big navy canada canada has interesting that's embarrassing for canada what up one Canada What a terrible partner That you guys are

Italy India Terrible Navy I mean that's a tiny Navy When you break it down India's They have so many people You barely have twice what the Netherlands have.

They don't pay taxes very well. I think when you're bordering your biggest enemy, you probably bring in the land army. The culture of corruption over there in India, it's not going to lead to a strong government. I hear Modi is trying to fix that. Some guy that was high on Modi. I saw him on TikTok the other day.

He was like, Modi didi i saw him on tiktok the other day and he was just like this is modi did this modi did that every single region has a different tax system he's bringing it all together under one thing he was like i don't know anything about modi he's probably conservative or something but this guy seemed to be real gassed up on him i don't really care about india either they shit in the street over there i don't care about india either it all starts that way right you know at first like this nation of savages like china was whatever 50 years ago and now you look at a chinese city and you're like holy smokes that's like better than new york wow and i don't i don't know if there are indian cities like i mean they're indian cities way bigger than new york but like not not better than new York. I said that about China. I was trying to show

China's progression, and Japan had a progression like that. India could do the next one. China's so far... China's got like 20 cities with over a million people in them or something. They have a lot of people. If you knock down that dam, they lose like six of them. Yeah.

That's like saying Mexico City is... Mexico City is bigger than New York. Like by what measure? Like by population. Is it? Yeah. Mexico City is enormous. I thought New York was really big and I look into it.

It turns out there's a bunch of cities that have more people. Yeah. And like you look at that list because I've been on that Wikipedia too. And it's like, man, you got to do like two long scrolls before you're out of Asia. Like so many things in China and India. Tokyo is absurd from high altitude. Tokyo doesn't look real. That's probably the coolest big city on earth, right?

I haven't been, obviously, but it looks clean. Like super clean. All the stereotypes are true. It was hyper clean and i think it like every all the stereotypes were true it was hyper clean it was beautiful the people were like very polite and like organized the like i went to the subways use the subway to get around in there i was shocked at how everyone stayed on their side there were no stragglers walking against traffic uh you know like on the escalator i think there was like just a regular escalator like any of ours. But on one side, people stood still and the other side was for the walkers.

There's no blocking the path and zero people disobeyed the system. The social contract was strictly adhered to. Good for them. We can't even manage that in airports. True. No. Well, in some places we can. Yeah.

But like a husband and wife standing next to each other blocking the what is a horizontal escalator called like the moving sidewalk speedway a walkway a sizzle pad it's definitely not that all right so so like husband and wife will stand there with their suitcases blocking the sizzle pad and uh and that you wouldn't be surprised by it it's's just like, oh yeah, you keep walking until you hit the first couple. Are you having a dog issue right now, Kyle?

I'm about to go get him. Oh, is she acting up? She won't shut the fuck up. He hits her with a newspaper to keep her in line. No, he hits her with a bag of oranges. No bruises. No bruises. I'm still watching that Dan Carlin thing,

the supernova in the east about the Japanese in World War II. And it's so fucking good. I'm like, I feel like making you like the Japanese more. Oh, it makes me despise them. It makes me despise those scummy pieces of shit. Oh, they're awful. The Australians were hardcore. They were, I think they're awful the australians were hardcore they were uh i think they're maybe on a guadalcanal or one of the big islands lots of australians they've been

stuck there for a long time not much food and the australians just got so good they stopped losing men almost and they said they got so good at killing and they're talking about they came upon one of their uh their guys they've been tortured and uh there's a sign above their guy that said he took a long time to die it's like this enraged the australians they went on a killing spree it's just like it's great they they find their guy like bent over with uh had been raped and with a bayonet up his ass he's dead they would so after a while there was no taking of prisoners at all or even considering the the taking of prisoners or even messing with a body they considered the dead bodies to be like zombies they might get back up because they'd often play dead they'd often be like one guy out there with a grenade under and

ready to pop up and take you with them i don't know that doesn't seem very honorable it's super honorable if you can take uh you know a marine down with you um but it was it makes me hate the japanese just despise them like the battle of midway is just one of the coolest stories ever basically the the japanese show up with their four carriers uh four aircraft carriers and like a huge navy and we're there with uh i think three and one of them's fucked up already it was it's already damaged from um from um maybe a previous battle and they're bombing land with their carriers when they spot our carriers and so their guy has a decision because it's a big deal to switch from land to air bombing and get the refueling done and so he decides to take all of the guys who were bombing the land, let them all land,

let them all refuel all the planes, including the ones that are like flying around, doing defense. Basically, he brings every plane back and has it dressed, fueled, and like armed to go fight the American carrier. The alternative would have been to be like, send what we have now.

And as soon as we can send more, send a little more. And as soon as we can send another one, every time we have a guy with a plane that's suited to attack the carrier group of the Americans, send it. He could have done that. Because that's what the Americans did. The Americans had this... It was continuous. It begins at like...

They know exactly what time, because it's the fucking Navy. And like, the Americans were attacking continuously. Our torpedoes didn't work. The torpedo planes had the most dangerous job. They have to fly at wave height and detach this torpedo and they would either go too low or even if they

hit, they didn't work. Our torpedoes for the first two or three years of the war were bullshit. They literally didn't work. Yes, it went the first two or three years of the war were bullshit they literally didn't work yes it went on for years torpedoes not working before they fixed the problem meanwhile the japanese had the best torpedoes in the world so all the torpedoes are hitting and missing uh or just not blowing up doing zero damage and uh then the dive bombers come it's starting to look like the americans gonna lose because the japanese are fending them off so well then the dive bombers come and the pilot had been

at pearl harbor and the pilot you've got his first person viewpoint not viewpoint but like his his narrative as he's coming down from high altitude straight down into one of the carriers it's got a big red circle painted on the deck and he's, I'm aiming right for that 50 foot circle. And I dropped my bomb and I pull up hard and I watch and watch. That's a biplane. But, um, this is the American revolution.

No, I'm confused. But, uh, but he hit, they, they, they hit three of the,

uh, Japanese carriers. They destroyed three of the Japanese carriers in that battle. And that changed the whole war. Like that's where the war changes. The Japanese lose three carriers. And even though our shit is heavily damaged, I think they sink one of our carriers in that battle.

But the reason they sink our carrier, if I remember correctly, they came and attacked our carrier, fucked it up, dropped bombs through the deck. There's wooden decks on American and Japanese carriers. The Germans had steel decks. I think the British did.

And so the thing's on fire. They radio back, one carrier down, one flat top down. That's what the Japanese say. But the crew on that boat was so good and experienced at putting out fires and repairing that they put the fires out, repaired the deck and we're launching planes off of it. So when the Japanese get back, they think one carrier is down.

It's not. In fact, it's been repaired to full power already before they can get back. And so they say, Oh, we found another carrier. And so they hit it again. I think then they sink it.

So they think they've taken out two carriers when they've only taken out one. I think I have this right. Early in World War II, there was an attack on an American ship of some sort, naval ship, and they took out the firefighting team. And then something that would have been extinguished was sunk. So then the Navy made a change in tactic and trained every single sailor to have a firefighting role so that you couldn't just take out the right 37 guys and sink a ship. And that lends to what Kyle was saying, like,

ah, they were so good at firefighting because literally everyone on the ship is a firefighter. World War II aircraft carriers were triply flammable. I think he puts it in there. Compared to what? Compared to anything. Compared to any other naval vessel. Those things are so flammable, I think he puts it. Compared to what? Compared to any other naval vessel. Those things are so flammable.

Compared to any other naval vessel, because they're made of wood, and they have all the fuel for the planes, and then the bombs for the planes, and they also have guns on them, so they have all the ammo for those guns, all those 5-inch shells, or 8-inch shells, or whatever the fuck, and all the powder that launches them.

So if you hit the wrong part, it just a they would they would jump out of the water those big gigantic naval vessels destroyers and stuff when the magazine goes off and every narrative i've heard like different battle battles they talk about the boats jumping out of the water from the from like the the power of the explosion nowadays russian tanks are curiously flammable like i i see them just drop a grenade in the open hatch so if uh if the russians abandon their tank maybe it's immobilized or something then the ukrainians will come along and drop a grenade in the empty tank just so that it can't be repaired and reused and it's surprising to me just how often they seem to burst into flames All the rounds that are stored inside catch fire and blow it up.

Mm-hmm. I guess that makes sense. You're probably not spending a ton of time fireproofing against a grenade attack at the last second because it's already over if that happens. The American tanks have their magazine in a separate compartment that has blowout

panels. So when it explodes, it has a released explosion that vents so you don't kill everyone and lose the turret. Well, that's a much better idea. It's a way better idea if you're inside the tank. I'd so much rather be in that tank than the one where you just burn alive. You know we've got AC as well?

Like good air conditioning in there? 100%, right? I bet the Russians don't have good AC because it's Russia. Yeah, I think he said that. Russians don't have AC. I think he Russians don't have good AC because it's Russia. I think he said that. Russians don't have AC. I think he said the Israelis have AC suits. There's a hose that goes onto what they're wearing and the Americans have

AC. If I recall. That's fucking cool. I'd love an AC suit. Just walk around all the time. Water circulating it. I think it was powered by the tank. The tank has a hose that you put on your, I'm making it up up shoulder and now you're air conditioned inside i wonder if it's like i would want liquid to be radiating through it like a like an engine radiator like you're a computer what well i am a computer well i guess keep me cool technically i want like hell i want it all

up around my head and my groin i I want armpits. I want that. You're not going to kill a lot of foes if you're all sweaty. I don't want to intimidate with lack of shrinkage. I just want to feel good. You just want to be sweaty. Dangling sweaty balls. Sweaty balls. It's me at full size entering battle. That's how we beat the Japanese is they saw our sweaty dicks and balls and they're like,

Oh, we cannot possibly compete with this. Because they were cold. sweaty dicks and balls and they're like oh we cannot possibly compete with this i think i don't know how many times trump's violated his gag order but i i didn't understand it until last night i was like oh he wants them to arrest him that's what they want so badly is to is for a presidential candidate to be in in jail oh, that's a good look for Donald. If they lock him up for contempt. It is hard to watch much more reporting than I do on this topic. And I've heard both. I've heard some people say what Trump really likes to do is get right up next to the stove and all but touch it. He doesn't actually want to go to jail. He wants to do everything up to that line without crossing it i've heard that uh people who talk to him in private say

he really really doesn't want to go to jail he would hate that but i've also heard what kyle said which is like it is dude for a guy who plays victim this will double it down he will be such a victim in this thing he'll'll cry. Law Biden locked up his, his opponent during campaign season. Is that what happened? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

That's gonna, that would rally a lot more people potentially to his side. Cause that means very banana. Republic. The intellectual part of me wants to be like, Biden has nothing to do with this. He's not engaged. He's not part of it.

This is a state level thing happening in New York. That's not a biden but that doesn't matter the details don't matter what matters attorney general is a biden appointees what matter if biden wanted to like is this the attorney general or is this the state level thing that's how i don't think this is yeah this isn't frankly this isn't federal yeah frankly it's hard to keep up with as many trials. I suppose this is the hush money trial. Oh, wait, is it? Yes. Well, yeah, the federal... They call it the hush money trial.

It's about federal election problems. I saw that lady fucking wrote about killing her puppy or whatever. Kristi Gnomes, his potential VP candidate. They are dragging her through the mud. At least I didn't kill the dog. I didn't see that. christine gnomes his potential vp candidate god like they are dragging her i saw that

mit romney was like at least i didn't kill the dog i know i didn't see that what happened with her dog okay so she is a country girl and she wrote an autobiography and i think the way i heard it presented is it was some attempt to be like i'm every bit as tough as the men are she was going hunting and she had a dog that was worse than useless. A puppy, I should say. She had a puppy that was worse than useless. It was untrained. And she shot the puppy in the face because it was ruining their hunting excursion.

There's not more to it than that? No. And when called out on it, she kind of doubled down. And she's like, you don't understand. This puppy really sucked. And she shot something else in the face too. A goat? was it a goat she she shot a goat in the face because it smelled bad probably goat like you know she's not a mexican for winking at her one time this is all i've i've ever learned about this woman and i don't like her nobody does fox news is ripping on her like fox news uh who's the judge piero i'm close to that

but not perfect oh god yeah her armpits are disgusting yeah she was like america is a nation of dog lovers we do not approve of this all right damn when you lose news you know you're you're off the course there. Nobody likes people who kill dogs. Michael Vick was so good at running with that ball. And then shut that right down. He was a piece of shit, dude. Michael Vick was a piece of shit.

Because he was torturing those dogs and killing them. All the rapes. He was breeding dogs. His dogs were begging for a bullet to the face. Yes. This wasn't just a guy who attended dog fights or had a dog that fought like this was his his side hustle was a fucking dog fighting he was the commish he was the commish he was in charge he had his finger in every dog pie he was breeding dogs like killing there was like a bucket for drowning the dogs in. All sorts of shit.

Fuck that guy. Yeah, he sucks. He was so good in Madden 2004. He was good for the Philadelphia Eagles. Madden 2004, he was a god. In his defense. If you played with him in Madden 2004, you were cheating. I was playing all by myself.

That's odd jobbing. Yeah. He could just run away from the defense. Fuck you. So fast. He was a ton of fun the defense. Fuck you. He was so fast. He was a ton of fun to watch. I actually watched the Falcons. Do they let him on ESPN now for analysis and stuff?

I see him every now and then. He doesn't really have a gift to gab. That's unsurprising. He seems a little low energy. He's sort of low key. It's not not he seems a little low energy he's sort of um like low-key it's not that he's unintelligent he's just kind of low-key he doesn't have that sort of and he's not funny not funny dude it's wild how successful charles barkley and shaquille o'neal are now i know you guys aren't basketball fans but do they get into your feed every so often

i'll see like the because i follow like the nhl stuff and from time to time both of them but more charles barkley because i think charles barkley is a big hockey fan like he'll go over to the nhl side and talk about hockey with them and i'm like oh this is kind of neat he's kind of fun isn't he like he's a funny guy i haven't seen much of shack but charles barkley's funny shack is also funny uh adam sandler tells this story where he was doing Shaq was on one of his movies and he's like, we're all professional comedians. And we're like, what the fuck Shaq's funnier than all of us. That was this happening. And yeah, he, the story is pretty funny.

He was playing basketball, Adam Sandler, you wouldn't guess, but he's an avid basketball player. He really likes the game. He's playing and Shaq is playing with him too, just dominating, swatting. The guy can barely jog. He's kicking everybody's ass and they're loving it. Shaq swatted me. Then after the game, Shaq says he's going to shower down. This is like a YMCA or something with a gym and a shower. Adam Sandler says, well, I got to go see Shaq's dick. I need to see This is like a YMCA or something with a gym and a shower. And Adam Sandler as well. I got to go see Shaq's dick.

I need to see this. So he's like walking backwards by the shower. He's like, let's get a peek at Shaq's dick. Let me take a look at this. And Shaq has his bodyguard there. And that guy's this ginormous guy. I think I've seen him. And Adam Sandler's like, I'm sorry. I think I've seen him. And, uh, Adam Sandler's like,

I'm sorry. I just came here to see Shaq's dick. Don't tell him about this. And, uh, he's like, that guy's going to rat me out. No fucking way.

That bodyguard keeps my secret. Yeah. And, uh, he goes up to Shaq later and he's like, I'm sorry, man. I,

you know, I, I should have done that. That was probably uncool. And, uh, but your bodyguard put me away and he's like, what? I don't. I should have done that. That was probably uncool. But your bodyguard put me away. And he's like, what? I don't have a bodyguard. That was my dick. That's the Shaq story.

Why wouldn't Adam Sandler just shower with Shaq if he wanted to see him naked? I don't even know what level of true the story is. That's true. He could be fibbing. He could be telling us. He could be rusing us along. But Jack and Charles Barkley are making so much money now.

Charles Barkley made way more money than he ever did during his career. He's making $200 million a year. The Saudis tried to throw a bag at him to do their golf thing. What do they have? Like the LP? They have do their golf thing what do they have like the lp i forget they have a huge golf thing you're right yeah yeah they're trying to like replace the pga tour and they thought that if they got shack i'm sorry charles barkley that that would do the thing and all charles did is like take that offer to tnt and they matched it or something and he just stayed in his current gig but he is beloved in the basketball world

is he a big golf guy right he he plays golf he's always played golf yeah he's notoriously terrible at it zach can you pull up um charles barkley and the hitch in his swing it's wild you would think he's joking that that he doesn't he did work it out. He's improved since then. But the hitch in Charles Barkley's golf swing is legendary. It's good now. Yeah, I was saying he fixed it. How do you know about this? Dude, look, I keep my finger on the pulse of the internet. If something happens, I know about it.

I watched his golf swing today. I watched Charles swing today. Right? Like in the first picture, there used to be a stutter in his swing that you would think he was like telling a joke or something, but he just couldn't get past it. Let's see if this plays well. See?

Play it again. I'm not good at golf but no part of that was correct wouldn't it be great if you edited this it's called a hitch in your swing and apparently it impacts some golfers I'm not a golf guy

but he's not the only person to have to fix this but his is extraordinarily bad that's wild usually like if you're a really good athlete he's not the only person to have to fix this, but his is extraordinarily bad. That's wild. Usually like if you're a really good athlete at one sport, you're at least somewhat athletic in other avenues. Like you're not going to be like an NHL player who then goes and tries golf and just can't do it.

Like, and I would have like, Oh, he's a good golfer. I really not. If that's no no even with that swing look despite that swing you see where the ball went he topped it 30 yards left didn't hit the fairway he said he lost 25 million gambling in vegas on golf probably no like blackjack or

something he's not good at that well i guess of athletes are not that great at gambling. He talks about playing $25,000 a hand. Things get out of hand quick. Yeah. I've been fucking with my dog. I got this. Really? Is your dog small? Yeah, he can take it though. Is that his favorite toy?

toy why are you why are you buying puppets dude dude three weeks ago you were gonna be a sword guy can you even do ventriloquism? Of course I can. No, I can't do ventriloquism. Yes, I can do ventriloquism very well, Taylor. I'm quite good at it. We're all incredible at this. What? He has light-up eyes? Of course he does. He's Lord Satan. Do you have multiple puppets, or did you just settle on

the devil? No, I've just got the devil. I felt like I wanted the devil because the devil could maybe say horrific things uh-huh you know i thought that would be me just devil shit you know just just that sort of thing the dogs make him say it the dogs are terrified of him the dogs are terrified of him i get it out and chase them around. It's great. That's a good normal thing for your dogs to be afraid of. The devil. A devil puppet.

Yeah. Most well-adjusted adults don't care for puppets. I put it up on the bookshelf and it watches over me when I sleep. You can't just have a devil puppet. This is like if you got into World War II memorabilia and it was all Nazi shit.

I just need the devil. I appreciate it. Would you like it about an angel and they could have a conversation? Yes, I would prefer that. Well, then you get the angel puppet then. I'm not buying puppets. Come on, we'll do a little puppetry together. No, that's gay.

All right, I'll get a puppet. They're on Amazon. Taylor's Puppet Curious. That didn't take a lot of think it's like a 50 60 dollar puppet wow that's a big first step into the world isn't it well i wore the hat i didn't know that i didn't want to appear foolish when i found that I wouldn't want that I wouldn't want that I'm fine as puppet in the land

you wanna do the ad? does your girlfriend like it? oh she loves it yeah I put on puppet shows I've got a whole green screen outfit that I wear is she scared when you light the eyes up? does she whimper? She's an adult and a human.

She whimpers and then I put her in her fucking kennel. She runs into her cage for security. Practice this next week and then next show do a who's on first comedy stylings. I always think it was thinking genius idea.

Well, I just think if I do a green screen and then I wear the green screen suit, then all you would see would be Satan and he could just you know. I want you to get the green screen suit but don't invest in a green screen. Like just sitting there

in a gimp suit. You can see me behind it. You can see me. I'm behind it. Of course. You see my eyes. Well, I spent my grocery money on the puppet budget. The $30 devil puppet. No.

I like my dogs. They're hilarious. The dog toys are huge. Bigger than your dogs. He has a rope that's like five feet long. The girth of it is enough that you couldn't put your hand around it. The girl has a chili pepper. It's like three and a half feet long. Crinkles when you bite it. Their toys are

giant. They probably tear through them every three weeks. Something like that, yeah. The rope lasts a long time, but he leaves it outside and then I mow it and that's when we buy a new one. That's tactical. I bet he's like, i'm sick of this rope smells like mildew this rope has dog breath this is disgusting oh is that what i smell like chris you don't would shoot me in the head for this yeah is she a governor

i don't know i don't know i don't think so. Maybe a Congresswoman or something. Not for long. Going against dogs. Governor of South Dakota. Governor of South Dakota. They love shooting dogs up there. It's the official pastime of South Dakota. Dog shooting. Have you ever seen those maps where it's like, this is what the US would look like

if only the fucking black people voted or if only white people voted, or if only the boomers voted. If there was a map that was like for dog lovers about Christy Nome, not one, not even those states that have goofy little

insular districts within them would have, it'd be all red, or all blue, whatever the fucking case was. No one takes the side of a puppy killer. Yeah, it's kind of not cool. That's fucked up. All I saw was that some politician killed a dog,

and in my head I'm like, probably like an old cancerous hound that needed to be put out of its misery. No, just a spring chicken of a pup who hadn't been caught yet. You thought it was an old yeller situation maybe yeah a little old the other situation i've had the old yeller several several dogs it's real sad i ran i uh i can't remember if i ran it over if another car did one of my dogs was laying there all crippled like fucked up screaming and had to like jump out and shoot him immediately um yeah yeah i've had the old yeller a bunch of dogs how many cows killed it five maybe have you ever put a dog down like at the vet no we did it in my living room we did in my living

room this fall this fall we had the we uh you know we didn't want the dog to be scared at the vet's office or anything oh they came to you yeah it's expensive they take the dog away take the dog away and they send you the ashes and a little fucking thing and like a little urn for the dog it's a wooden box um dude i so i real sad i've been there for one of those before it's horrible yeah oh i was crying oh me too everybody was crying everybody in the room was crying like five of us typically what happens is um like the they they put the, they give the dog an injection that just makes it like sleepy and restful and chill. So at this point, the dog has his head on my lap and I'm petting his or her ear and then they give it something else.

And it just sort of fades into sleep. And that's the end. Um, they gave they gave you give a little time and i'm just like it's almost like post nut clarity like okay the dog's dead what do i do now do i just like walk away like a tap it on the hip and tell it to get up so that's a weird thing on um but the one time our dog had a heart attack at my house that was weird because first of all it's a great dane so it's not easy to treat the body like really respectfully and i carried it like it was alive and put it in the back of my pickup truck because what do you do exactly and then i ride with this dead dog in the back of my pickup and i take it to the vet who can dispose of it well they have a freezer for the dogs if it was a little dog you'd like place it in the freezer but this is a ginormous great dane and like i haven't told jack about i

was afraid it would like make her feel bad but the process was just sort of you're holding it and i dump it like back first into a freezer you know one that would sit on the floor you didn't want to get a graveyard going oh at the house is this an apex no we had just moved here we always buried our dogs we have a graveyard of them oh you know i considered that but i don't really have that skill set i don't have an excavator i would you do with a shovel yeah you obviously got a bigger dog than than i normally bury medium dogs you've got you're gonna need a bigger shovel yeah you'd want a little excavator is it still called an excavator if it's on the back of a tractor like one of those little things i think i think that like a that's not a ditch witch.

That's that big dirt chain saw. The one that has a bucket. Yeah, I know. Exactly. I guess it's an excavator. It excavates. Yeah, anyway. Just the process of dumping it unceremoniously into a freezer and then they had to push its legs

away for the door to close. It was like... That was the last time I ever saw them legs away for the door to close it was like that's the last time i ever saw them slam the door yeah yeah it's yeah it's it's rough stuff uh our little dog was tiny they take it away in like a fucking easter basket it was as as good as the situation could have been but really sucks hate losing dogs yeah so nobody likes the lady that clearly she says it was like an 18 month old dog or something that had bitten people and was a training nightmare which makes it a lot better i mean look i'm picturing this is like that bear thing this is like that bear thing how a woman probably can't picture a fucking bear sometimes it's hard to picture a shitty dog like

if she's got a dog that's actually attacking children and strangers and even like people it knows if it when it first sees them like what are you gonna do if it was it a pitbull i'd be cool with that i'd be cool with that too she could drown it i'm stuck on the puppy part oh did a puppy bite you can drag it behind the car all puppies bite people not the good ones i guess all kind of start out that way right they're teething yeah yeah yeah my dog bites the shit out of me all the time that little pomeranian puppy like constantly but you're not going to shoot him in the head won't do it won't get the flintlock out and put him down or anything he's a man of principle i won't do it he won't shoot his dog in the face and this isn't like uh what do they call the opposition reporting like it's not air

opposite research this is her autobiography that she published herself. Damn. No editor? Oh, what did they cut out, right? This part about executing the dog maliciously. He cut out the whole chapter about the black man that flirted

with her that time. That's the last white woman helicast what did you cut out lady because because i don't know i bet nobody the editor just was like i'm not reading this boring she's the governor of a state like if you're gonna be the you know i i wouldn't read a governor of a state she's in charge of mount rushmore but the main thing is taylor that she was a vice presidential hopeful. Like she's in the. Not anymore. Yeah, she was in that like maybe group of five or three names that are kind of floating around.

Not anymore. No, no. It would help Trump to have a girl on the card. A hot one. One who loves dogs. Who could talk shit. I want to. I want to. I want a hot one who can talk shit. Okay, where? Where's the hot one? There's Lauren Boebert and Tulsi Gabbard. Those are the only two hot ones in the whole country. I could get down with Elise Stefanik. Actually, yeah. I don't know Elise Stefanik. She's got a strong jaw, Woody. Look at that. I don't know who Elise Stefanik is.

Bite your dick right off. In the world of politics, she's attractive. Tulsi Gabbard, I think, is winning this five-person face-off here. Elise looks so much younger. I'm not sure tim scott's got a two-story mouth get the fuck out of here tim scott oh in terms of getting votes yummy you know a black guy or a girl that would help a black girl would be better yet wait who's this were we tricked on the previous picture yeah well i mean you know we don't know in that picture. She's not that bad, but this is the one to the left. This is the big-jawed lady.

Ooh. Yeah, no. Christy Gnome up there, like, she's got so much light on her that I can't tell what species she is, so that's not even a real photo. Look at her eyes. They're CGI. Dude, none of these... Tulsi and Lauren Boebert are the only two attractive politicians

we have. Big fan of Tulsi Gabbard. I think she was on JRE this week talking about how Maui got $700 of belief money and Ukraine was getting $60 billion. Vivek is the best speaker in that lineup, so that would help him.

Ramaswami! Ramaswami! My God, $5 name. how long did trump practice that he practiced his name oh no but how long do you think he practiced ramaswamy's name to make sure he respect got it right because this is his boy like ramaswamy is as close to like a team player as you can get he's like i hope that's the vp because he's not a pretty lady, but he can really talk well. He's probably no time at all to practice his name because it's

phonetic. Vivek Ramaswamy. Vivek Ramaswamy. Ramaswamy. I just got it wrong. I wanted to go the hard E-M-A-S-W-A-M-E Midwest style, but I guess that's wrong. That's Sax Avenue Sultan.

The Sultan of Sax Avenue. That's what they're calling him, folks but I guess that's wrong. That's Saks Avenue Sultan. The Sultan of Saks Avenue, that's what they're calling him, folks. I started it just now. I'm not Arabic. He's a brown guy. Don't know where he's from. No one does. No one does. He feels safe. I'm pretty sure he knows more about the border than Vivek, am I right?

I need to see his crickets. Everybody's like, does he think Vivek is a Mexican? He's from Honduras. One of those shitholes, but he came here. Look what you've made of yourself. From nothing to almost a man.

I call him my little Aladdin. I call him my little Aladdin. I rub his little belly and all those votes come in. It's the American dream. He was running around stealing loaves of bread and whatever God forsaken hell he lived in. And now he's the vice president. Stealing loaves of bread and singing songs.

Singing songs, eating kiwis. My little street rat. Everyone's talking about him. He's got his own street rat. I call him my little street rat everyone's talking about him that's what he called me I call him my little street rat don't we I wish I could remember the lyrics I don't buy that no I want the one he does while stealing

like doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot uh yeah i know the exact song but i don't remember the lyrics i haven't seen that movie since i was a child um yeah but aladdin's one of the good ones aladdin's definitely like top tier og disney that's when they weren't trying to make you know reprogram us or indoctrinate children. Formatting.

They were raping the kids then. We haven't really talked about that. We need to watch that. Have either of you watched the Nickelodeon documentary about how they were banging them kids? Because Taylor was on that shit forever. He was on this show years ago, maybe six, seven years ago, talking about how that

creep at Nickelodeon would have those girls feet and catch up and tweet and foot pics and all sorts of weird foot shit with the underage girls. And sure enough, now there's a whole doc about how that one guy there was just

straight up raping... What's her name? Not Mandy Moore. Britney Spears' sister is what zach's saying oh i didn't know that she was getting it too but he's like a big britney spears sister impregnated holy shit that becomes really undeniable when there's like a child with your dna the doc is about yeah that's who i'm talking about yeah i don't know who's who taylor's diddler was but drake bell's the guy in that doc we should watch that so we can talk about yeah i don't know who's who taylor's diddler was but drake bell's the guy in that doc we should watch that so we can talk about i just kind of i don't like i don't like how awful the

world is and i and sometimes i just want to look away from stuff like that ah it's not that bad nickelodeon's great yeah you look in the slime you watch people die all the time police activity is your favorite youtube channel those people no but that's the world getting better, Woody. Those people need to die. I watched one today. The guy's like 911 call. He's like, yo, I stabbed Mark. Why did you stab Mark?

He was tripping. Come get me, coppers, or some shit like that. Good point. We can't have trippers out. So when the cops show up and he comes at them with a knife, they eventually shoot him to death. And I'm like, ah, world's better. World world's better we don't have that guy who stabs people for tripping and then the other day when that 70 year old pedophile's knocking on the door

so that he can rent a seven-year-old and an 11-year-old from their from their mother uh-oh it's not no children in there just three members of the sheriff's department and they gun him the fuck down immediately because he draws and like i said before i think he was going to shoot himself he was drawing like this probably there's no coming back from from trying to purchase children 70 yeah yeah not at 70 no you're you're on a one-way ticket to no fun land yeah that well who i don't think anyone's ever come back from from the child sex thing. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. I think you've maintained that he didn't do any of that stuff, right?

My perspective is that an adult man who has sleepovers with children in private is probably doing untoward things. I go back and forth the same way. And I genuinely, you've probably heard me say varying things about the Israeli-Palestinian thing. And that's because my opinion dramatically changes based on what I intake that week. I can be drawn to either side. That's why it's such an awful thing. Or at least understanding either side.

And with Michael Jackson, I've watched sort of dueling documentaries in the past. One that's like, Michael Jackson's a pedophile, don't you know? And I'm like, holy shit, he is! And then I watch another one and they're like, he was chemically castrated as a child by his father so he could maintain that voice. He never had a childhood. This is his first Christmas. He's a grown man.

He's a grown man having Christmas for the first time. This is him where they've rented out a whole grocery store so he can experience that. This is him, this is what it was like when he tried to just actually in a normal voice talk to the public. It was just – Chemical castration is an ongoing drug regimen. It's not something that is done to you as a child permanently.

The way that they do with rapists and shit is they put them on drugs, and they have to take drugs that chemically castrate them like he might have mechanically castrated for all i know but he never he uh they had those boys dick why was his voice they released those i feel like something was going on there that's not natural uh i think he's just doing that so i had a boss when i was a kid whose theory was that you know he sang as prepubescent and then he was kind of asked to keep doing those songs keep doing those voices through puberty make it last longer and he just never like like he socially was conditioned to have a high voice but it was so high like i couldn't do that i'm 100 100% on OJ, but I'm

like 50-50 on Michael. He had sleepovers in private with kids in his mansion. And if he didn't have... If it was like Drake. If Drake was doing

the shit Michael was doing, I'd be like, fucking pedophile. 100%. But because it's Michael and he does have this weird, like, I think he is maybe a kid in his mind kind of thing. Maybe he's weird because he's a pedophile. But pedophiles are smooth, cool people, Taylor. You know that.

Better than anyone. They're usually really funny and bearded. Think about how slick you've got to be to be a professional pedophile like not one of those losers that gets caught fucking showing up and uh like owning the top 40 for a decade yeah it's pretty impressive only the slickest and smoothest like he definitely was doing shit with those kids because like the whole idea of like oh michael Michael Jackson was just one of his he just was one in a

childhood it's like then he would have been doing the shit that that kid in blank check did which was like putting slides on his house and spending all day every day at six flags he did do goofy stuff checkmate was he out there by himself hanging out with his friends

barbecueing no he was inviting friends you're defeated by your own logic. It's a fucking checkmate. Hoisted by my own retard? Yes, hoisted by your own retard. Hoisted by your own retard. You're wrong here. No, he was hanging out with, he was like a

41-year-old man having sleepovers with children. And he had the mind of a child. So as you suggested, having the mind of a child, he did in fact do a blank check. He made a carnival in his backyard with a slide that leads to it. He had a pet monkey, Taylor. Not a Ferrari, a pet monkey.

If you're a slick pedo, you're driving around being a cool dude. He was never that. He walked around with Bobo the monkey and a bunch of kids sliding down slides and shit. I'm convinced that he was a child in his mind. What does that mean?

He was a child and was he retarded? No. No, but he didn't know how to read or write music. His talent was sort of this thing he had. Didn't all those kids and their families have NDAs? Like robust NDAs? I don't know anything about that. I know that the one kid, I know

there's evidence that the one kid's father was like making the whole thing up and they were, you know, just trying to get money out of Michael. I don't know. Call me cynical, but I think the eccentric man who put a carnival in his backyard

and invited children over for sleepovers was probably diddling them. You just don't like the music, do you? His music's incredible. Love his music. It's so good. It's so good. I love it.

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It had been just long enough that I had forgotten the main points. It was like watching it new again, which is the perfect amount. I want some sort of... He flies a Harrier at the end. True lies. I'm sorry.

Thank you. I'm sorry to derail you. Directed by James Cameron, Jamie Lee Curtis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Arnold. Tom Arnold? Of the stupids? I've been anxious to talk about Taylor Swift. Have you guys... She dropped a new album.

Have you guys heard how successful it is? I'm not that big a Swiftie or whatever. I heard it's kind of mid. I don't even know any of the songs but here's what i do know taylor's leaving god damn it she owns spots 1 through 14 of the top 100 the album has 31 songs on it all 31 songs are on the billboard top 100 every single one and like i said she owns spots 1 through 14 right the next most popular song is 15th and she also has

a 32nd song on the top 100 from some other album this bitch is just crushing the music world right now and it's that we have Michael Jackson right now this is more than Michael Jackson he never had spots 1 through 14 in anything I think Michael

Jackson was very talented I don't think taylor swift is very talented at all really i like yeah really i don't i don't think that she's five percent more talented than anyone else that i could and she's not better than rihanna rihanna's better than taylor swift more talented you know i'm gonna let you know taylor swift's got taylor swift's got taylor swift has white girl mafia lockdown that. That's all it is. White girls are going to... It's like those fucking Stanley Cups that everybody wanted to pay $50 for so you wouldn't be the poor chick.

It's a cult. I'll admit her success is fantastic. That's all I was going for. All I hear is that I was bad. I don't know. I literally haven't heard it yet. I should listen. I was going for. Really? All I hear is the album's bad. Really? I don't know.

I literally haven't heard it yet. I should listen. I won't be. Really? Yeah. I don't hate her. I mean, like I... I don't either. I like Shake It Off.

I couldn't... I don't know. I don't know what that is. I'm sure it's Taylor Swift's song. That was a popular song from like 15 years ago. Yeah. I don't really keep up with modern artists. Certainly not Taylor Swift.

Really, anybody. I know Eminem's got a new album dropping this summer. The Death of Slim Shady, I think. I'm down to listen to that. They've been unpopular lately. I think Eminem is amazing. There's that one video where the guy describes his rhyming pattern and how complicated it is that helped me understand

the genius he has but what he does now is called rappity rap and music is kind of it's not the popular kind of rap anymore i feel like he does different he sort of reinvents himself every album with like a slightly different thing like he raps in a different way and he does characters and stuff i don't like i used to listen to the whole album and be super into it when it was Marshall Mathers LP, especially the... There was a couple, the Encore album too. I owned all those and listened to

them incessantly. That would hype me up. I know every word to those albums. Marshall Mathers LP, the Encore CD, I know those songs by heart, all of them. I believe you. That's never been my talent.

Yeah, I haven't liked him more recently. I always wish he'd act more because he was so good in 8 Mile. I've said it before. He was supposed to be in the movie Elysium, and he turned it down, and they picked Matt Damon instead. It's not a good movie, but it'd be fun. It's like a sci-fi movie for the guys like super four and the people who have are on like a space station and the have-nots are the people

stuck on earth and they've got a machine on the space station that's like a cancer deleting machine like hop in it looks like a like you're gonna hop in and get a suntan but you hop in and just eliminates cancer but they they've got one but down here we don't he gets cooked in this like microwave machine that is industrial job and they're like you have 20 days to live and so he's like doing everything he can to get up there which involves like terrorism and getting a biomechanical suit screwed into his arms and stuff and using future aks to fight and stuff it's kind fun. It would have been great to have Eminem in there though because I think he's a good actor.

Thank you. Really? I didn't love him in 8 Mile. I mean, I obviously like the rap battles and I did enjoy the movie, but I felt like he was always just a frightened little puppy too much. I thought it was believable. I liked it. But yeah, I don't listen to music and certainly not

Taylor Swift. Like just the whole thing. I don't listen to music and certainly not Taylor Swift. Just the whole thing. I don't care. I've been going through a Beatles phase, which I'm I don't know if that's lame or not, but something about at least the Beatles songs

I like, they have so many. They're very simple. Like Let It Be, Blackbird, that Here Comes the Sun one. I don't know if it's called that i made a little playlist of my favorite beatles songs and that's what i listen to when i work out now and yeah it's just i don't know i hear every i hear and appreciate every note and i couldn't say that about you know something more modern that's faster and kind of confusing yeah you talked about that movie a while back where he the guy like

is in a universe where the beat never happened but he kind of remembers the words to most of the songs and he starts stealing all those ideas that's great yeah yeah i i that was the beginning of my beatles phase and it's probably why i picked that movie you ever see that picture of john lennon and yoko ono naked yes yeah oh God. We obviously can't show it, but it's their asses, John Lennon and Yoko Ono. And he has the longest ass crack in history and she has the shortest.

And it's so shocking that they would be together and in a nude photo together. You couldn't write a funny story to have characters that look like that it's absurd because her ass crack looks like it's maybe three inches and his is like three feet huh it doesn't look that outrageous to me i'm gonna send you a picture and you tell me if i'm looking at the right one i remember his ass crack going so far up his back. Yeah, dude, that's crazy. Zooming, zooming, enhance.

She has the flattest butt you can imagine. He has a way better ass than she does. Yeah, that's not an attractive lady. I don't know how I don't know how like how did she bag John and Lennon, right? Like she bagged John Lennon. You don't have to be super good looking if you're John Lennon to get pretty much anyone you want. Yeah, just don't be a be super good looking if you're john lennon to get pretty much anyone you want

yeah just don't be a burn victim yeah i suppose even then like oh no he got with her when he was uh do yeah he got with her she's the reason they fucking broke up on my yeah yeah like a fucking anna cole smith went for that rich old billionaire. 84. You can get anyone. She never got that money. I feel bad. She deserved that money. She deserved money. I don't know what the breakdown is.

I don't know what's fair. If I'm king, how do I divvy this up? Anna gets something. She earned some money. Yeah, like millions i would think i don't even know if he was literally a billionaire but pretending he was worth 1 billion i don't think she gets a billion i don't think she gets 900 million does she get 25 million man now we're talking let's talk about that dude was gross and that dude was all about her apparently like she was stripping for a long time apparently he had proposed to her many many times before she said yes like he was always proposing to her which says something about him i guess that dude wanted to get laid of course she was smoking hot back in the day she was

she got she went into that chubby phase later on but when she was in movies she's terrible actress but she did a few movies she did one of the the Naked Gun movies, if you remember. I think it's the third one. She's really good looking in that. Jenna McCarthy was always my favorite old school pinup girl. The anti-vax chick. Yeah, the anti-vax chick. Yep, yep. I know exactly.

Pamela Anderson was extremely attractive for a while. Very true, but she was always a little too plastic for me yeah her titties have changed shape so many times over the years she went too extreme on them you know you yeah too much for me i don't know if you've been paying you probably don't know this but i've uh in the warhammer 40k universe, there's been more. I could finish this story. There's been some big drama.

I'm out. They've lost me as a customer. Oh my god, Tarkov and Warhammer. I'm sorry. It's going to sound a little silly, but basically, you've got this emperor. He's the emperor of mankind. He's the main guy.

He's got all these super soldiers and shit. And there are the space marines. And they're sort of like the mass-produced super soldier. And then the emperor has these guys called the custodians. And I think there's only like 10,000 of them ever or something. And these guys are at custodians tower over space marines the way space marines tower over a regular man like like like in the same way that like a space marine is a god to a regular human a custodians is a god to a regular space marine this is like a 10 or 11 foot

tall giant meta man who's a genius and a philosopher and all it if i think they time them and if his reaction time slow by like a thousandth of a second he gets retired to this other thing like these are the these guys are are the best of the best of the best of this race of humans they invented with magic and fucking chemistry and part of warhammer is they release these codexes or codices where they break down the nitty gritty shit it's like the cimmerillion of a specific group so so so you'll find out how like their ancestors lived and why their armor looks like this and you'll learn like what kind of augmented... Oh, two hearts. Okay. And what kind of skin? Like everything.

There's been many of those. So lots of information about the Custodes. Well, they've decided that the Custodes, some of them are ladies now. Some of them are chicks now. And that's why they lost you? And nobody noticed for 10,000 years.

But now they're Custodes women. Oh, yeah. It's lame. It would be... It's like... I don't even know what it's like. It's like saying the elves don't have dicks or something. It's absurd to just decide...

There aren't elves with no dicks. None of them have dicks. They're a dickless race. Actually, all elves are transgender so they're they're woke retconning warhammer yeah they woke retconned a a tabletop expensive game whose player base is like 99 white dudes like it's so they're pandering to people who won't purchase their products and product are resentfully destroying a hobby. There's big boycotts.

Authors of the series are speaking out. It's a whole thing. But then, of course, part of the community is like, good riddance. It's like, yeah, goodbye. I won't be spending any more money on your silly product. I bet that's not a huge part of the community. I bet most people, the kind of people who get into shit like that really like lore.

It's so like consistency. Like, like you've got to understand the lore is, is like my favorite part of it. There's hours and hours. There's, I can't tell you how dense it is. It's more dense than a world war two. It's,

I've learned way more about war on Warhammer than I'll ever know about a real war. Cause there's 10,000 years of dense history and battles and character names and a dozen races of beings over 20 million years of history. No, I'm done now. Because they're not all men? No, there's a group of ladies. There's the Silent Sisters.

No, the Custodes. Here's where i come from and i might be coming from the wrong place but it's this if i see a movie and a woman's beating up five men i hate that stop it with your bullshit right if i see a superhero movie and that same thing happens oh oh okay well this universe has different rules it is okay for captain marvel who's a girl to beat up all these guys because she's super powerful. But this isn't a stand-alone thing. This is, since like

93 or something, they've been dudes. And very specifically dudes. You knew they were dudes? Oh, yeah. I projected this thing on there that in my mind, they look like Master Chief and you didn't really know what was

going on they weren't talking you couldn't see them the the selection process to be to find someone who you might turn into a space marine is so ridiculous that the navy seals wouldn't make it and then the process after that where they actually just start cutting them apart and injecting things into them and giving them extra organs and cutting all their skin off and replacing it with the black carapace that most of them don't survive that like like it's not like the spartan program where a few die most of them die like like and they're like oh no one of it's absurd it's absurd not even like the the reality of it it's just the historical the nature of it that they've always been this fighting for you yeah it'd be like slipping lady navy seals in a historical and the some of it laden raid it'd be like throwing a few

lady greeks in with leonidas at thermopylae like wait it was always the other way why is it this way now who are we making no i imagined this was this like the superhero exception that i just made leo but that's it's not what this is. It's not necessary because there's lady characters throughout the Warhammer universe who are badasses. There's no patriarchy. It's everyone on deck. There's no more patriarchy.

There's no feminism. We're all just as shitty as everybody else here. There's none of that. I don't understand the motivation. I feel like right now, haven't you seen the potential for this backlash? Now, part of me wants to hate the, I don't know, femme washing or whatever that's happening. I'm sure there'll be lesbians or they'll have hyena cocks or something like that. But the other part of me remembers

that this is a company that sells models and so doubling the variety of models of custodies might be in might be a money-making uh schemes like now zero percent chance now you need some big titty custodies models yeah that's yeah that definitely wasn't a money-making thing well anytime you introduce politics in it you cut your user base in half. We've seen GoBocoPro, right? There's plenty of Bud Light, right? Say no more. Now we're watching Tesla go the other way, right?

Where Elon Musk rails against the left and his cars, he's three quarters in a row, he's selling fewer cars. In California, the Tesla Model 3 went from first place to third. You know, Elonk sells to liberals but now liberals are like ah fuck you it's not even like half the player base for the warhammer thing though because that's like assuming that there's an even split in like political affiliation amongst hobbies like my guess would be that the overwhelming

majority of people into warhammer are men which means that the majority of them are going to be right-wing because men are just, as a whole, more right-wing than women. And so they're making a decision that upsets way more than half of their player base. For what? To appease some huge investing firm that's trying to push DEI stuff? Are they doing it because they have some internal process or they put the wrong person in charge of a department? I don't know why.

I just checked out unsubscribed from all the YouTube channels. Wow. That was hard ejecting. I don't follow the working world at all and I saw that this was happening because I guess like following fantasy and video games like AOE2, they kind of put some of that stuff in front of my feed. Like a lot of I didn't see one person who was like a Warhammer account on Twitter, at least being like, this is a great change. I saw a ton of people who were like the Warhammer man or something being like, what the fuck?

This is not consistent with the lore and then clearly someone who's not even into the hobby some pink hair replying and being like why do you even care and it's like i hate that response why do you even care it's like you're questioning why someone cares about a hobby that you clearly care enough to attempt to ruin or inject your own nonsense into so if why do you, then just keep them all men. Oh, you care. Okay. So that shit's so shitty. Sucks. Does the Stormlight

archive just get updated? What? I hope not. Oh, no. December 7th. I'm sorry. Keep it away. Really? Yeah. Did you dislike it? Read the books that I sent you you took that on yourself

I know I know you didn't I didn't ask for the Warhammer book but I read it that was like when they put fucking Moses in that reed basket and sent him down the fucking river whatever happens happens man I read the Warhammer book and I had a good time

with it you would enjoy don't expect me to raise him up as my own i'm just saying you would enjoy the stormlight archive series you like fantasy you like that that kind of shit it's very well fleshed out a lot of action the first book is good and it gets worse every book it's not true i'm into the historical stuff right now i don'm a little bitten by the war. It's the Age of Empires with me. You'll learn. You'll learn about history. No.

Have you shown your shield off or do you care to? It's in the other room. That'll be a PK exclusive. Check out the Patreon. Taylor's war shield. I have a shield too. I wonder whose shield is better. I'm looking for better phrasing.

Well, there's only one. Tune in to PKN and check out the Patreon so you can watch me and Wooden Shield. We'll do a sword. Shield. We'll do a bump. You're going to need each of you get a sword and a shield and you can go at it. Do you have a sword? I don't have a sword. Oh, you showed up to a sword fight with a shield?

Okay, I'll buy it. I't have a sword. Oh, you showed up to a sword fight with a shield? I'll bring a gun. This is like Custody's shotgun. Well, I'll do that. Yeah, you... Oh, and you'll be excited, Woody. Season 3 of From coming soon. Oh my god.

I don't think I'm probably gonna watch it my girlfriend asked me she's like are you gonna watch it like i don't fucking know i don't fucking know if i'm gonna watch it piss me off so much i get genuinely mad at products and i'll like do my own private boycott like i'm not gonna fucking put up a sign i'm not gonna post on social media i'm not even gonna bother you people with it but like like all right i'll never buy from you again i'll never watch a second of you when i see you on the internet again and there's so many things that are like that for me that i just i just don't fuck with you're just over it i i i i want to deny them like a moment of i don't know ad revenue or like a dollar of fucking rental money or whatever i guess i'm a little hypocritical when it comes to Tarkov

because it gets a Russian company and everything, but I'm off that now. I'm definitely not going back to Tarkov. Like they lost me too. So even though they sort of made amends and gave us that DLC for free, well, for included in the price, you're not forgiving.

Look, he has apologized, and I'm not kidding. Like, all right right fake apologies russian apologies he'll be like i'm sorry you are in your feelings like this for what we did it's like wait what you're sorry that we feel bad about what you did to us that's that's like sort of suggesting that we're in our own little universe where what you did is offensive and you're in reality where it isn't quite quite. We're all in the same reality where you did his horse shit, and everybody's pointing it out, luckily. But no, he's apologized or gone back or like,

oh, actually the package will be this and this package will do that, and it'll be for six months. He's moved so many pieces around the board on what you get for what amount of money and what kind of discount refund. And every day it's new because they're seeing how bad it is every day and it's not getting better the cheaters there's big groups of cheaters who have said we're only killing the people who bought that new shit if we see you and you've bought the 250 version we are bullying you we're coming for you the new version is cheaters galore. So for people who don't play this game, here's how it works.

The cheating. You have an aim bot and you know where all the loot is on the map because you have hacks. So now you kill everyone, you take their stuff, you go to the parts of the... There'll be like a 1 in 30 chance that this key card spawns here. Well, you

know. So you go right to where all the good, best stuff is. You hoover it up, and then you can sell it for real-life money. Well, one of the things that the expensive version of the game is going to give you is an Avengers Endgame-like circle where you can summon your friend group, and they enter the game near you to help you out with firefights. The idea is it's like a radio. You call for help and then they show up in the game to give you a hand. Well,

combine that ability to call in your friends and put them right next to you with the cheater hacker ability to grab all the loot off the map. And you have a game that is custom made to reward people who use real life money for in-game or to stream snipe because the big part of stream sniping is getting in the right lobby so what they'll do is they'll watch the streamer and then i mean like a discord full of people on the same call will like they'll be they'll have a guy in every region they'll have different people in different regions of the world if they don't know what servers he's on because then they lock the server down and then they're all on the same server and they're all clicking at the same time and once you get into

his lobby it's like ah i got in oh i didn't okay here's my portal hop in here bro come on everybody throw your portals down this is the landmark lobby you know i didn't think of that yeah he is going to get blasted by teams all the streamers will and you know you can play the game kind of carelessly and for like four dollars get 20 million rubles and continue to play it wild like that and it's a different experience for cheaters and uh i'm afraid it's gonna ruin the game oh i'm done with them i'm fucked them um i signed up for the beta for one of the gray zones, not more PVE. I mean,

there is PVP, but I don't like the look of gray zone. I don't like how they do. They're like, there's, there's some mechanic where as you log in, you, somebody can just be waiting and kill you and take all your shit that you've

got on. It seems like a bad mechanic. So, I mean, it's an early, it's still early for that game. That's, it's a pretty new game. There's another one though i signed up for the beta for it so hopefully i get into it that and it's more tar it's the chinese game that's they didn't just

port the the mobile version over they made a pc version of a very popular chinese mobile extraction shooter i'm spacing on the name of it right now but it's it's like it doesn't matter it looks like it looks of it right now, but it's like... It doesn't matter. It looks like a AAA title, though. It looks like Call of Duty to me, but it's an extraction shooter, and it has all the modular fucking rifle mechanics, and all the grips and doodads

and all that horse shit. So, I hope they take a big market share. I hope a bunch of Tarkov streamers switch over. If they're smart, they'll pay guys like Basilian, Landmark, and they'll do drops. And they'll're smart they'll pay guys like bastillion landmark and they'll do drops and uh and uh and and they'll if you because that's how that's how um tarkov got so big those drops and they didn't pay them no i mean they've paid streamers certainly but they don't but um the drops and and and getting streamers onto your game and to do certain things would be massive for them

because it's been big for Tarkov. And God, I'm done with Tarkov. It doesn't matter what they do. I'll never play that game again. So you have no games right now. And you're really into history. Yeah, yeah. What kind of play do you think?

Maybe some Warhammer? Maybe some Warhammer. some dlc over there there's some new uh empire dlci here there's just not enough to that game oh really just the same thing over and over huh it's just it's just too short you don't have to build up into anything it's fun every once in a while don't have to worry about your villagers, though. I appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, it's like some people are FPS, you know, 80 IQ gamers, and that's fine. Like, some people don't have the APM

to play RTS games effectively, and that's totally cool. Like, I get it. It's probably like you wouldn't be able to balance it. You'd get stressed out. You'd get flustered, and that's all right. Some people just like a simple point and click

and searching through backpacks, and you have fun doing that. Searching through back simple point and click and searching through backpacks. And you have fun doing that. Sorting through your backpacks. That's fine. How does he know so much about this game he's never played? He's really nailing it. He's watching me play.

It's a nice, simple game. It's a simple game for simple guys. And I think that's great. You go to your thing and you do some bench presses. It's a lot of fun. It's really simple game for simple guys. And I think that's great. When you go to your thing and you do some bench presses, it's a lot of fun. I get it. It's really intimidating to go play like a really complicated game that takes.

I'd rather play Scribbleo. I'd rather play Scribbleo than AOE. You know, what's funny is I'd beat your ass less in AOE than I do in Scribbleo. You beat everyone. Oh my God. The last game you beat me by 40 fucking points. I don't know how i'm winning

that every guy every fucking game you're really good at it would seem yeah that dude that game rules it's the game of games is what you're calling it on pkn right so the audience has no idea yeah we've only there hasn't there hasn't been a pka since we played it the first time so scribblio is a little like pictictionary, but instead of shouting out your answers, you type them in. Also, you have something like Hangman, where it'll be like five words and three, I'm sorry, five letters, three letters, two words. And so you have a little hint on what the word might be. And this person is using his mouse to draw really crudely. Typically, none of us are good at drawing with a mouse.

Yeah. And the object is to guess it as fast as you can taylor types 97 words a minute and his vocabulary seemingly is all the words in addition to that he can spell them so like i'm like all right it's five letters and three letters what could it be i feel like taylor has this this toolbox of words to pull from. He's playing multiple choice and I'm not. He just really has this nailed. Oh, that's Scribbly right there.

You can even see in the top center how many... I think that usually gives you a number, like how many letters there are. Ash was an idiot. Giving mercy. It's only one word, Ash. You wouldn't want to guess two there he said fat what an asshole uh anyway it's a game that rewards people who spell well have a large

vocabulary and type fast and taylor is just three for three butt fucking everybody in the thing he wins most of the games every so so often, he'll get a second. I remember Dirty. Taylor won every gosh-damn game, and Dirty's like, you know what? Fuck first place. Let's make second place the real winner. And that's when Taylor got second. And I was like, Jesus Christ.

A little tactical mess-up at the end there. I take all my gold. It's wild. He is the filthy robot of scribblio and uh it's i i'm losing motivation to try my hardest at this point i'm giving answers to other people if you don't try your hardest you end up being like 14th or something like i've got a like i was second on the last game we played but for the most part i'm usually fifth or worse like out of out of 12 or 14 i'm usually fifth to tenth or something like that and sometimes you'll be like all right i can get to eighth then but once you

get to eight it's like a thousand points to get to seven fuck that what i think um i kept fucking up with the drawing part because there were two there were two different times when i was drawing the wrong word yes i was supposed to be drawing skunk and i'm drawing coffee or something but yeah that's a really fun game uh even even though taylor's very good at it it's still fun to play oh i love when every like it happens pretty often that kyle will be like like we'll both get the right answer almost at the same time, but I'll get it like a half a second faster. And Kyle will be like, yes, no, fuck, fuck.

The difference between, I mean, like being in seventh place versus first place, it just means that you're one second slower and get every word just as right as the other guy it's crazy how good you have to be to stay in the top three you have to do them all fast it is great yeah and there'll be times when i guess the word's easier so everyone's getting it quickly and i'm like oh nailing it like today this clue i'm the smartest me and i'm typing it out and it makes a sound effect when someone guesses correctly and as i'm typing it's just like sometimes one guy will get it and everybody's like the fuck yes and and it puts so much pressure on you because it's like he already got it he

what is that what is that and i'll start saying what i'm seeing i'm like squiggly line squiggly line and blue stuff squiggly line and blue stuff i was on the winning side of it like somebody drew an acute angle in a flesh tone and i guessed nose and a lot of people were like what the how did you even know but it i got lucky. Or nose ring, I think it was. And he hadn't drawn the ring yet. It's like, what the fuck? I was having nose hair over here. Yeah. That's a really fun game.

And the problem is, like I've said before, the people playing the game with us range in intelligence from like genius level to couldn't make it into the military, like ASFAB or whatever level. It's interesting how the hangouts evolved because if you go back like three years everybody was a real

super winner. They were like titans of Wall Street and they still are. Med students. People were just really on top. Now, the whole range is represented. Except for women and coloreds.

That's not true. No, that's true. We've got a woman and a colored. Not a lot. I'm not comfortable with the use of colored in this area. We're not the fucking UN over there, but we've got a couple.

Is it a bad word? I don't know how anyone who's black or brown could be offended by colored. We're all colored. I'm sort of pinkish. Red and yellow, black and white. We are precious in this side. Yeah. You know what is racist? I was watching Star Trek Enterprises

from 2001 with Scott Bakula. It's like early days of space exploration, and they meet this group called the Andorians. They're these blue people with antennas. Pretty cool though because the main guy is played by Jeffrey Combs. He's a big sci-fi guy. Anywho, they call humans pink skins.

The dude who flies the plane is black. They're so... The guy right in the front when you put him on the view screen, it's a black dude driving. Travis is up front or whatever his name is. He calls all humans pink skin. like the guy right in the front when you put him on the view screen it's a black dude like driving travis is up front or whatever his name is he calls all humans pink skins and it never stops does he ever like respond to it be like what the that would have been so that's that's a joke too good for this show like if you'd had a moment where like the black guy was there having just

a private moment with the andorian and or Andorian was like, you pinkskins. And he's like, motherfucker. What are you talking about? Does racism transcend the stars, you blue motherfucker? That would have been great. But no, nothing like that happens. What they do instead, it becomes a tall show.

Who are you calling pinkskin, you fucking smurf? Dude, it's okay. They just go straight. They take more. There's more group showering in that Star Trek than in every other Star Trek movie and TV show combined. It's nothing but Jolene Blaylock with her titties and ass out getting scrubbed down. And sometimes they got to scrub each other, you know,

because they got real dirty. I'm watching a Netflix show called The Gentleman. I think you're Gentle Gentleman something like that it's based on the movie really I haven't heard of either yeah I told you guys all about the movie well that's the beauty of me I can

watch something twice for the first time and so basically this guy inherits like a duke ship or. He's called Your Grace and unbeknownst to him it was funded by a marijuana plant farm underground and then from there

there's all sorts of hijinks, you know robberies, getting it back, working with gypsies, etc. At the beginning of every episode the warnings include nudity and I'm always disappointed. There's warnings include nudity and i am always disappointed there's barely any nudity in this thing i'm like what is this this is a tease what is there one nudity in the whole series no hollywood's gone very anti-nudity because now they have to

have those uh intimacy coaches and uh they've got they got so much liability by just showing titties that we've we've i saw an saw an article that Hollywood is coming out of its chastity phase with more sex scenes to come in coming years. It's like, who wrote this and how do you know? But I watched that movie True Romance last night and 15 minutes into it, we're fucking

and her titties are bouncing and Patricia Arquette has amazing titties. Her titties are bouncing and she's licking like almost his pubic hair like she's way down low like licking his belly and it's like yeah this is what movies used to be like the hero got some pussy about a quarter of the way right you felt good you're like you start yeah i can this is me the sword identifying with him all right that's me all right i'm that guy.

The guy getting the poon. Now what's he going to do? Then somebody wrongs him. Then he beats him up. And you, you know, you come along for the ride. What does an intimacy coordinator do?

They stand there and make sure nobody feels uncomfortable at any point as we fake have sex. It sounds like their presence is, is uncomfortable. Um, I can't remember which actor had an intimate, intimate, intimacy coach for a scene with his wife. What?

Yeah, they wanted an intimacy coach to make sure they didn't do anything untoward with each other, I suppose. Thank God. Yeah. That's weird to you. Jackie and I do that. We make sure there's an observer. Yeah. Make sure I do it right.

Lenny! Lenny! He's outside the window now! I've been here four days. You receive three times more than you give. That's a ridiculous job to have. An intimacy coordinator? You would either get the most disgusting pervert on earth in that job

or the most rigid bitch. There are no male intimacy coordinators. There has to be. Absolutely not. You're going to trust a woman? They will only trust a woman, I'm what do i know about sex and meanwhile what they don't like they they know they'd rather fuck a bear in the woods than a random man i'm digging it i hope i would love to i would love it if a woke woman got mauled by a bear like i would love it if a woman woman got mauled by a bear.

I would love it if a woman on TikTok was like, everyone makes it a big deal because I said bear. Well, here I am at the Atlanta Zoo. This is Billy the Kodiak Bear, and I'm going to show you that Billy's not only as friendly as he looks, but he drags her through the bars. Remember that Asian guy with the blue jean jacket the denim jacket and that panda bear gets a hold of it and he starts trying to pull him through the

fucking bars at the end of the day it's a bear like it's if it wants to it's strong and can fuck you up i saw like a i don't know don't put your back to the bear i don't know i don't know monks like you do but but i saw it's like baboon like creature walking on a fence and there was a bunch of asian people by it and one of them tried to like bully it a little tried to like push it off the fence and it bit him right here in the cheek so fast he couldn't react and like he was the monkey was like and like and the dude's like and you see that he's got this big bite mark right here on his cheek and it cuts off before you know how cut when you cut it first you're like that's gonna bleed any second now that and there it goes i felt i felt like we were in that preemptive uh preamble

where the blood hasn't started flowing yet yeah a monkey will fuck you up you shouldn't tease them getting bitten in the face by a monkey that's a really weird hospital visit what were you doing oh just minding my own business it's like your friends like no i got video he was antagonizing the champ he was bullying that monkey he was bullying that monkey yeah don't bully animals don't be don't be mean to them especially monkeys they have hands. Every now and then I see the people fucking with the bison. I guess there's some sort of maybe in Yosemite or somewhere. Wherever you can go and do that tour where there's bison on the side of the road.

Yeah, they're enormous. Are bison different than buffalo? Stupid question. Bison is what American buffalo are called. I saw that. When I did that that motorcycle when i went across the country the tat yeah you see buffalo yeah i saw one gore a child the other day in the face yeah he had his head stuck out a car window and the buffalo was sort of like walking up

and the kids just still had his head stuck out the car window and the buffalo just went wank and like stabbed him in the face. Okay, that's bad parenting. Yeah, I thought so, too. You yanked that kid back in. It's a cool-ass buffalo, though. He's like, oh, really? You're not scared?

You're not scared? Nobody told you about me? Quack, stab him in the face. I'm about to gift you a very unique phobia for the rest of your life. I'm actually going to give him a really badass Hollywood scar. He won't be able to go to Buffalo Wild Wings after that right that like you ever wonder how i got this scar he'll be telling that joke a lot yeah i was in yosemite my father wasn't drunk wasn't paying attention yeah i i really like seeing people get mauled by animals if they have it coming

like yes they're fucking with the animal they're like abusing it especially have it coming no he didn't like seeing this one this one yeah i just don't yeah it was a kid though so i don't you know i don't like kids so well yeah sure sure whatever happens happens right um where i go the other way is with pit bulls because i because i hate pit bulls more than people yeah the worst animals the worst dogs they are probably the worst by far the worst dog like if someone shows up to a dog park for the pit bull fuck you it's not sweet it's not oh they're just the most sensitive dog no you bought a fighting dog i have an exception you have a weird relationship i have an exception you might be on. I used to have a violent dog. In public, we always had it muzzled. See, that's good.

It probably wasn't a pit bull. It was a Great Dane. It was a big dog, but it's muzzled. It can't even bark loud. A muzzled dog is like... trying to scream with your mouth closed. It's still scary. The muzzle is scary. You kind of have a Hannibal Lecter feeling.

Part of it's about how you handle your dog. know like oh your dog did get loose and bite that lady though we weren't there so that technically i didn't handle it i don't know if it's better or worse i'm not trying to throw you under the bus here but let's technically your dog didn't get loose in my living room. Pishposh. I mean, my dogs did the same thing. There was a knot in the fence, and my dog, there's a dog on the other side of the fence from my yard.

The lady behind us, she's got a little floofy fucker. I've got four fucking dogs. Toby, the big dog, is up there scratching on the fence. All day, he's scratching on the fence. Until he scratches one of the planks in two. And it falls into their yard, cut in two, basically, by his claws.

And then he sends in my Pomeranian as the first strike force. He's the edge of the fucking blade, the tip of the spear. Ten pounds of Pomeranian running at their back door screaming he's trying to make toby proud they've got a dog net like back door i thought my dog was gonna invade i was like he's going in like he's running for their back door he's gonna go in there and get him i guess and here comes their floofy little like goober dog bites my dog and like bows up. Like this is a floofy little like half poodle,

half mini poodle, half like those things you had like a teddy bear. Bites my Pomeranian stands over him. Like he's a boss. My Pomeranian comes running for me, screaming bloody murder. And I'm, and I'm looking through,

I'm like Jack Nicholson on my knees looking through this slit where the fence used to be because it's not the whole plank it's like two feet of it and i'm screaming through it i'm so sorry because the lady's out there now she's out there trying to intercede and i'm like you're yelling through the like wilson and what are you saying i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm screaming at the fucking dog he finally comes back it he's lucky didn't have a real dog or it would kill his little ass he's 10 pounds of nothing it sounds like he got taken on by like a 14 pound dog and lost he did that's exactly what happened like i'm i'm moderately larger yeah that's all it took I know they had a 14 pounder

back there. It wasn't a fight. The other dog went, nipped him once and our dog had never been bitten before because my dogs just take his shit all day and so does everybody else. He's just like, oh my god! To be honest, I think I like this other dog.

It's hilarious. She was like, I'm I like this other dog. It's hilarious. The other dog was defending his home. She was like, I'm sorry he bit your dog. And I'm like, my dog's an asshole. He shouldn't be in your yard. This is the invader. It's his fault. Your dog was an illegal. Yeah, absolutely. You go over that border, whatever happens, happens.

Walls don't work. I've been telling you guys for six years now. Kyle's yard is not sending their best. No. The two big dogs are like hanging back because they can't fit through the fucking hole. Did the big dogs comfort Murphy when he got back or are they just

kind of like, that's what you get, idiot? He was fine once he got back. He just got scared or whatever. I'm sorry you're reading your feelings. Yeah, fuck Nikita, man. That guy's such a piece of shit. I think that guy gets paid millions and millions of dollars. Is that the Tarkov guy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, he really upset his player base, because I would... Dude, I can't recall anyone else ever... I mean, this is like a Bud Light thing almost. Like, their player base just revolted. And so now everyone's on the lookout for the replacement game. What are you drinking

by the way kyle what kind of soda is that it's some sort of asian uh peach cola drink at the smoke shop i went and got some double doinks earlier highly recommend the double don't doinks you can get it from pharaoh distro um they're very strong they're they're like joints with thca diamond sauce powder crystals and incredibly strong real strong every time i step away i go and like fire it back up and hit it a few times so how does it work is this a vape or like that's a joint it's a joint i'm sorry i don't know anything what's a cone it's like a cone shaped joint i have one you like it looks kind of like a cigar but like a pot yeah it's like a like a bat more cone it's like a cone shaped joint have one you like it looks kind of like a cigar but like a pot yeah it's like a like a bat more where it's small and one and it goes up and it's fatter

on the very end so does it get like less intense as you get closer to the fingers yeah yeah a bit because like it goes to like the normal flower instead of like the crystal stuff but it's like it's crystals on the end of it let me go get one i'll show you they're like cool they're unbelievably strong like just a couple little hits and it's like oh i'm gonna be high for many hours now oh it's a smokable that makes you high for many hours yeah it's uh i haven't smoked one in a while they had like uh last time they sent them to me they had like a peach flavor one and maybe a strawberry flavor one but like i would like i'd end up throwing some of it away because it would take me so long to get through it that it would like start to dry up because it comes in like a

resealable pouch i should just use a fucking resealable pouch but i took it out and like lit it and i'd take like three hits which is like none of the total like that's not gonna smoke through much of it at all and it'd be like oh i'm where i want to be already like i don't want to be pitting this thing and then five hours later take like two three more hits and before you know it it's like i've been smoking this same double doink the same joint they come in twos for like four days i thought that if you smoked it didn't last long it doesn't unless you get real fucking high and this is this gets you real the thca stuff is strong especially the bell curve you're just making it a bigger and bigger bell curve yeah yeah it's the the first few hits with the crystals on the

end are especially potent because it's like thca you know solidified in in power very strong if you guys the thca double doinks uh actually you don't you unlike edibles you don't have to tell people like be careful with your smoking because like you'll know immediately after you take a hit how high you are right yeah you don't have to wait and see it's the edibles you got to be real real careful with yeah my thing now is weak ass edibles that's kind of where i'm happy to be yeah i. I don't know. Maybe I'm less of a man or something, but weak ass edibles are cool. I agree with you. Like I don't want to get scary, like ridiculously high. I like nice mellow, nice and mellow, lower level high. Yeah. Kyle's got it here. Maybe he has the strawberry kind. I don't know if they sent me the strawberry kind or if I just got berry.

They did not send me any kind. I had to go buy them. I'm going to go tell them. I'm going to tell them. Yeah, tell them to send me some weak-ass animals too. Oh, can you hold it sideways? I think I see why it's a double. Oh, it's just one big one? It's a giant.

There's two of them in the pouch. The tip of that is crystals though. That whiteness is just crystals that are stuck on there. Tiny crystals. Delicious crystals. Delicious crystals. They fuck your ass up. They're strong.

Will you smoke through a whole one of those in a day? I'm going to smoke. I already smoked one, but I'm going to smoke this one. I would smoke it now but I don't want to like smoke this room up I was gonna ask that if you smoke in a room will that room smell of

marijuana it will in the short term but unlike tobacco there's a car in it so like if I like rip my bong like it'll make the room smell like weed for a couple hours or as long as it's sitting out

and then I go to bed, wake up the next morning, it's not there. At all? At all. If it's still sitting on my counter, I could smell the weed that's sitting there, but it's not like smoke. It's like incense. It will smell strongly,

but it's not a a lingering odor because it doesn't have that tar that sticks to the walls and makes it linger okay yeah real fucking strong recommend those for sure yeah whereas like a cigarette is like if someone smoked a cigarette in my one cigarette in my living room like you'd know you'd know for weeks it would smell sour and weird it's worse you could be in the presence of somebody smoking a cigarette especially if it's indoors and then your clothes have it it usually washes out though yeah same with any kind of like i i really like the campfire smell yeah but i don't like the like have you ever like taking your

jeans off after a campfire and you throw it in your laundry and then like three weeks later the laundry ampers full you go to do the laundry and you're like oh I remember the campfire I went to like it just I love that so it'll happen I wear I'll have like protective motorcycle gear on by the campfire and then so that stuff can like maybe two months later when i wash it or you know put it back on or something it's like oh this reminds me of that great night yeah oh by the way kyle is that a coke or is it like an off it might be i mean i mean it's it's 100 oh it is it's a coca-cola product i see that that's the only thing in english anywhere how'd you know? It just looked like... It's got the bottle shape. It's also got the little swoosh here underneath. I'm sure it's just a peach coke.

It's a nice coke. I don't know. This looks like Thai or some shit. I don't know. Everything's in... Does it taste like peaches? Yeah. Is that a repeat buy or are you done with that? It's the first one I ever had. Bought it today.

Hate it. It's real bad. You're not selling it? Terrible. Never, not going to go back to that well. Never again. Back to Diet Pepsi. That Squirtle soda I bought, whatever that was, that was pretty good.

Lemon Lime. It just had a picture of Squirtle and it said Lim Lime. It was good stuff. Yeah, I can't imagine. No, not Squirtle. Pikachu. The Pikachu drink. That's what it. Yeah, I can't imagine. No, not Squirtle. Pikachu. The Pikachu drink. That's what it was. I wonder who that was.

I can't imagine they paid Nintendo for licensing. No, it was also from some Asian country. It's like when you go to head shops back in the day, and maybe it's still like this. That's where I got it. There would be like a ton of clearly unlicensed Bart Simpson things

all over. Oh, rolling trays and lighters. Yeah. Don't have a cow, man. And it's like clearly like just a slightly off Lisa Simpson head. Like a not quite Homer.

Yeah. Simpsons. Such a great show back in the day. When's it going to go off the air? I can't believe, like, the ratings drop every year, but they keep making more. I think Dan Castellaneta's going to die of old age before, and then they're going to just have to end it. I haven't watched it in so long. No, I don't want to make myself

sad and see what it is now. Is it that bad? Well, you wouldn't know. Like, I've seen clips of, like, the past, like, probably five years, and they had some really just embarrassingly bad shit like they they had like there's one thing where like they had like some really ham-handed like trump commentary it was like oh this this isn't the simpsons that's a mistake oh the billboard says like like but it's like the there was like one

billboard for the republican national Convention and one for the Democratic. And the Republican was like, enslave women, hate minorities. And the Democrats were like... I can't remember what it was. I wouldn't find it, Zach. It wasn't quite as bad as I'm saying. One was clearly taking

a very hard... They took a side. It wasn't like too They didn't make fun of both sides. They found a side and chose it. They've done that for a long time. They write themselves and their retarded views into Lisa

as a character all the time. Do you think the writers are Lisa? That makes me hate the show so much. They think of themselves as Lisa. As the time. Do you think the writers are Lisa? Oh, that makes me hate the show. They think of themselves as Lisa, as like the, the even handed intellectual. The only, the only person in the room smart enough to have a real opinion.

Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty embarrassing because Lisa is the least funny character on the show. Even Maggie is well, Maggie's probably less funny and fair. I like little Santa or Santa's helper more than Lisa I do Santa's little helper has been at the center of more good episodes than Lisa yeah I hate uh I hate that show now I haven't seen it since the good old days really I watched

it every night as a kid it was like my favorite thing in some weird way i was i was like i'm bart simpson i should do pranks too yeah so i should i should get a slingshot yeah i did i did like i was no because i was just an asshole because of bart simpson it seemed like carte blanche it was like well that's the that's the guy yeah your father's like i identify with homer i should choke my children yeah i should oscillate wildly between a lovable oaf and really really hair trigger temper i like that about homer because bart needed some abuse every now and then it kept him in line i appreciated that i think if there was a show now where they like actually spanked the kids like 90 90% of kids were spanked, it wouldn't work. Can you imagine?

Surely they do. Oh yeah, kids are still getting spanked. I don't think it was as common as when we were kids, though, because I have a lot of friends with young kids, and I don't think they're really leaning into spanking at all. Zach, find out if people

hit their kids anymore. This could be the whole problem. Broken down demographically. We might just solve this whole university riot thing. Yeah, you think it's because those kids didn't get popped in the nose? I did see them throwing down the other night because some counter-protesters, they called them Zionists. The Zionists showed up, Taylor. You know it. All the Zionists, they have a club, I suppose.

But they showed up and they started tearing the encampment apart. They started tearing the encampment down and going fisticuffs with the people that were in the encampment. So you got one group of people pulling the trash they've made walls out of and the other one pulling it the other way

and then people just beating the shit out of each other with flags and stuff it's great man those are two sides that I don't want to everybody sucks here I saw the Patriot Front was that do you know what Patriot Front is?

I do not know I bet I can guess based on the name is it like Proud Boys? yeah it is well at least that's what big uh global media would have you believe i tried to google patriot front and the first like page of results was all like the this law center or like that law center's opinion on them oh these people are bad these like it was one article after the another like people letting me know that i should just steer clear and then finally i was like oh here's their website and it's just like they're like selling t-shirts that are in poor taste that's that's all

i could yeah you're right the first results are anti-defamation league southern poverty law center anti-defamation league again yeah they got two? They're pretty far down. Just looking at it, I'd say the 18th result is them. But the Wikipedia page on Patriot Front is pretty high. Where's their actual website? Is it .us? That's on brand. I saw those guys were marching the other day.

Those are the dudes that show up wearing khakis and polos and masks. I mean, nothing wrong with khakis. You know, to be honest, I do like their outfits. I can't get past that. They usually wear a blue shirt, I think, and khaki pants. A sharp-looking group of guys!

I mean, the Antifa guys, the bandanas and the mismatched rags. If they went to the shorts you wear, could you see yourself just blending right on in? The shorts I wear? I'm in golf shorts lately. I guess you don't wear those shorts anymore.

I was from like 15 years ago. When I in my mind's eye, the Woody image is wearing those for sure. I saw some guy who was Woody's gamer tag for Halloween and he wore those shorts. And mandals. Yeah, and mandals.

I rock the mandals. I didn't know what the Patriot Front was. I just wanted to learn. And the internet was like, don't take their word for it. Listen to us. Don't go there. And when I got there, I couldn't find any propaganda. Like I said, it was just t-shirts and hats and poor taste

don't go there listen to the people who thought that the okay sign was white supremacy they are the experts on this sort of thing I don't know I definitely don't want to listen to the people that thought that pizza parlor had kids in the basement either it ended up

that there was no basement did they exactly went to the wrong pizza parlor the whole thing was completely not true remotely I don't remember Alex Jones level insanity

oh yeah and it's just a coincidence off that onto another little conspiracy theory it's the Boeing whistlebl. It's the Boeing whistleblower. That's the one that died again this week. There's a picture of this guy. Heart attacks left and right.

It's not that. This one is like fishy as fuck. They called it an extremely aggressive disease that took him. And they show a picture of him, Woody, and he's like a 35 to 38

year old, very fit man. He was their second whistleblower. Kyle, this happens a lot. I see it in Russia, too. You go against authority and sometimes accidents happen i

didn't know boeing was down like that though i didn't know that they took people out it that's it does look fishy one of the biggest military companies on earth and you didn't think they take people out for whistleblowing no i didn't and by the way I think they're blowing the whistle on like 737s. What is it? 87s? No, the 737, the Supermax. Is that it, right? Yeah, I don't know which planes, but I keep hearing about Boeing planes with issues and doors flying off

and engines exploding and shit. And I don't know what's happening to this generation of technology because planes I always thought were so foolproof that the idea of even worrying about it was like having a silly phobia. Like you might as well be afraid of heights when you're in the plane as much as the plane failing. It seems like the FAA and the plane manufacturers are more like partners than adversaries. And that needs to change. It should be like speeders and police. That's the relationship they should have have not just two people working together yeah should be regulating and keeping an eye on them and

looking over their shoulder all the time to make sure they're not cutting corners on airplanes i don't know uh you know i i'm not one of those people that ever minded when you see all that tape on them either because i know that's not like structural tape they're just trying to make the thing cut through the air a little bit better but holy fuck the engine explodes or the door the one the other the other day the fucking ramp flew off or something like it it deployed midair and blew away and they're like oh we got to go back we lost the ramp it's like what like how is that shit happening yeah i i don't know it's pretty wild i i wonder if airbus is better i don't know or if they just have better pr they don't have the same whistleblowers like i don't think airplanes are complicated to make the same uh mechanical failures have they

i'm just shocked at that dude like i want to know what killed that guy. I want them to do an autopsy because the wording of the article was bizarre. It called it some rapid-moving illness or disease or something. Like something he got this week that killed him. Yeah, I wonder what it was. If you get sick today and you're dead in three days, Taylor, we're going to look into that. We need to figure out what Taylor caught.

Yeah, because it's probably very serious. And it's probably not just going to affect me. In good health, noted for having a healthy lifestyle. He was in critical condition for two weeks. He alleged serious and gross misconduct by the senior quality management of the 737 production line uh he was fired recently he was intubated and developed ammonia pneumonia from a serious bacterial infection. MRSA. Oh, oh, MRSA is a pretty big deal. Yeah.

Usually people don't just come down with that. Well, that's not nearly as mysterious as the article I read made it out to be. They made it seem like he caught dinghy fever that, that kills you in a week or something. Dinghy fever. But instead, he got that wasn't isle bird flu oh last night i was in my backyard smoking a double doink and uh it was dark i mean dark dark and i hear a bird flying i can hear it going it's close enough that i can hear its wings

in the air and then it crashes into the tree that the tree. I can't see it because it's so dark. It crashes into the tree just real close to me. It's in there and it goes, rawr, rawr. Dude, I got so scared. I ran back in the house and closed the door behind me. Dogs are pawing at the

dog. Let me in. I was like, don't let the little dog go out there. I heard a big bird landed i was like i don't know it might have technically been a raptor so you made a good yeah i i it's like like it sounded like a big fucking owl or something that would scoop up his little ass and pay very silent wings it's not an owl well okay not an owl perhaps some sort of some sort of eagle or or hawk or or or maybe it was a monster. I don't know. Maybe it was one of the demons I've been asking

for for a while. Me and Satan over there. Be wary with that. I was telling, we were playing poker and I told those guys that you had agreed at one point, Woody, to sell your soul to me. And they were like, yeah, that's fine. I'm like, no, no. He said that I could bring like a demon,

like a Satanist on board to like be the middleman. Like I would show up with like a demonic, demonic notary public, basically like a guy. Yeah, no, no. A real one. A real, a real one. My bad. Yes.

Like I want him to do the real rituals or whatever i want i want you to like prick your thumb and let like maybe sign in blood or something make an x in blood for us and uh and have a whole contract and when i explained him that you're willing to do that they were all like i would never do that i would never do that everyone i told this to and again just to be clear what the scenario is a person who believes in the devil and worships them is going to show up with some old-timey fucking scroll and shit and and you are going to swear to give them their soul in exchange for something and sign in blood and give it back to them and you have no reservations, not even a little. No, no. Imagine this. Imagine I had a quarter in my palm, right? And you were going to use all the satanic tricks that you could think of so that when I turned my hand over,

that quarter wouldn't fall, right? Everything. You bring out a real satanist, you sign in blood, all this. Do you think that quarter will fall when i turn my completely different scenario we're not talking about moving quarters we're talking about bargaining your soul another intangible thing that may exist as far as we know yes but if this thing had any power he'd be able to keep a quarter of flow no if it had any power over material objects in our dimension it would but i'm talking about your everlasting soul if it exists and we don't know if it exists

yeah you could be selling your soul for a fucking piece of pizza we're talking about the thing that is you that might live on for eternity being sold to a demon who wants it I'm so confident that this doesn't exist this isn't real I'm not I'm not either I think like I think it definitely is like

it's not oh there's no soul there's no magic your parents would never do this your parents wouldn't do this and the vast majority of people throughout history believed in this stuff like yes that is true i i will admit the vast majority of people in history believed in spiritual whatever because there's things the vast majority of people today believe in yeah most people today believe in that it carries

over right before they could talk they were brainwashed with that look at what I'm here he knows something nobody else has ever known nobody knows today Isaac Newton a fool because he was a he believed in Christ Einstein wasn't real.

There's no way I would sign a blood contract with a person who was actually a demon fucking worshiper. I wouldn't do it with anyone. No chance. No way. I mean, I've heard you jokingly invite Lord Satan into your heart and soul, so you need to be careful about that, too.

Are you doing one of these under the table? I'm doing it fingers crossed. And I would never in sincerity do something like that. Yeah, that's you making the crucifix to protect yourself. Spirit worlds, afterlife, all that shit. It can't remotely be true. Wow. I mean, you are in the vast minority

if you don't believe in any afterlife. The vast minority. You don't think there's anything supernatural at all ever. Right. There's no soul, no spirit. When you die, the energy, the calories that your body has gets re-released into

the universe. You think we're only material, more right and i'm like wildly confident that there's nothing after this i feel like there's a lot i feel like even physicists aren't wildly confident about the fabric of reality like like like they're always talking about dark energy and dark matter like what is it it's like don't even think of it as energy or matter and certainly don't think of it as dark It's some stuff that we can measure but not quantify. It's a thing we can see but never touch. And it exists in greater quantities than anything that you can see and touch.

You're like, holy fuck, is there like, well, that's worrying to me. And when you think like if a demon wanted to harm you and like let's for the sake of argument say like demons angels religion all that 100 true like there would be no incentive for a demon to keep a quarter glued to your palm what it would want to do is what it says they'd want to do in the bible which is convince you that it's not real and to live for yourself and to do whatever you want all the time and then you awaken into the afterlife in hell because you've it's not you know that's one thing that some movies do get right about like the devil and demons and everything and many get wrong is like they aren't trying to bring brimstone into your kitchen and scare you to god they would be trying to convince you that you had all you needed and your own faculties were the only thing you

ever needed to rely on and just just keep living keep living get to the end of that life and it'll be nothing and then it's not nothing like that would be the incentive for the demon not to glue something to your hand like he doesn't want to do a magic show to give you faith yeah he can't well then why doesn't god do a magic show to give you faith because then what would be the point of faith that's not faith that's that's knowledge i mean oh my god it seems like we just keep making up rules along the way no we're defining a complete lack of evidence no we're defining the word faith right like there's never been evidence of this throughout all of history of mankind but everyone believes in it and that's why everyone believes in it well i'm not trying to defend religion i'm just explaining why you can't have faith with proof like that that's like the purpose of it of yeah

kyle's right like faith isn't faith if you're just watching a demon glue something to your palm it seemed like before everyone had cell phones with cameras in our pocket like in jesus's day he was doing parlor tricks all the time he's turning bread and water into wine he's walking on water he's doing shit all the time nowadays we've rewritten it and it's you know oh yeah you know what you gotta believe in nothing that's what faith is not really like it's i mean he said like he was the final kind of revelation jesus like he was there and he was like and i'm leaving and i'm with you on the power of the church i'm 100 with you on the power tricks and i don't believe um just to

be clear i'm like 99 atheist on this, or agnostic at least. I kind of like the idea that maybe all those stories are based on something that happened. I don't know, maybe some fucking four-dimensional being from the third body problem. Or con man.

I mean, con man is most likely, for sure. But then again, there's stories and tales that match up from lots of civilizations that kind of look weird. But what I would suggest, if there's anyone out there who has any sort of demonologist or Satan worshipping or soul notary public transfer experience or skills, you better have a Necronomicon or some kind, like a book. You better have a book. I want a scroll. I want quills. I don't want you to look like Susie Homemaker, like, yeah, we're Wiccan. No. Get your fucking girlfriend's weird hobbies out of here. I want the devil man to show up. Not that guy that's talking about Gaia

and the fucking Earth Spirit. I want a dude that wants to invite Lord Satan into his heart. He does it every night, every morning he i want someone who knows something about blood sacrifice if we get them on the show i want to buy woody soul because i'm worried about my own and i feel like if i've got his in my back pocket i do not want to do a show with a fucking satanist that's that's disgusting no no only uh I need him to... You really don't want to be part of me buying what he sold? No, I want nothing to do with demons and Satan.

No. No way. What's the trade-off there? Well, I think it'd be very entertaining and I'd get what he sold, potentially. What are you going to do? Sell it back to him when his life falls apart? Simpson style?

No, no, no, no. I'm keeping it. He's not getting it back for anything but i figure maybe when i pass away maybe a demon or an angel of some kind may come to me and say it says here you have the soul of the woodworth and i'll be like yeah yeah that's that shit's minds he sold it to me i got i got that dude clint he hooked me up you definitely go to hell for buying a soul. Clint would devil himself. No, no. They'd bargain with me. They'd have to do a deal with me.

And I've got two souls instead of one. So that first deal is clearly a trick. That first trick would be like a soul for a fucking timeshare property or something. A cherry tomato. Oh, I don't want that. I mean, a cherry tomato might be helpful if you're in hell. But yeah, I'd like to have Woody's soul if at all possible so if there's any like i've been trying to keep it good i doubt that so if any of you um out there who feel like you could handle this transaction

in a believable and more importantly a uh an entertaining fashion like i would like that i want you i want i want someone wearing a black cloak you You know what I mean? And we try to crack jokes, and he's just like, yeah, yeah, it's all very amusing, sir. Again, place your hand on the black Bible. Your right hand, yes, sir. That's racist. And your other on your heart. They use the same Bible.

Very good, very good. I don't think they would swear on the Bible. It's a black Bible. The black Bible, yeah. These are all those books that were removed the book of you never black people use the book of the morning star oh that's spooky yeah i don't want to i don't want that i don't want to be around that i want it i want it he's wearing an upside down crucifix or something or maybe a pentagram and he's like bleeding when he shows up and he's

all like yes it's very amusing sir once again you are i understand why people watch now again your hand on the black bible sir and unironically he starts speaking latin like like what he's repeating after him in latin oh this could be i don't sell your soul woody don't sell your soul to the devil i mean this is equivalent to bringing in a warhammer expert to get my soul. Like, this is total... See, that's where he is on this. The fact that... I just don't see it that way at all.

I don't see it that way either, and I'm not religious anymore. I'm really not. But it's one of those things where, like, what if you were dying? Would you throw one up? Like, just in case you're up there, I did try to be a good man. I did do my best.

And I hope you look down and it made you proud. If it made someone else feel good, I'd do that for sure. See what I'm talking about, Taylor? He's just zero belief. I've got a little. Like you shake the tank and you can hear some in there. Some.

Woody's canteen just sand comes out yeah i've definitely got the most of us here you go mr frodo you can have some from mine there's just a little left in there for me but but woody's canteen's fucking dry on the face my goodness yeah i i don't i would not sell my soul no i would never sell my soul that's a I would never sell my soul. That's a bad move. I've seen enough supernatural to know better. Yeah. There's been episodes of that. I can't argue against that.

I mean, jeez, you've got to be... Now I'm stumped. I mean, that's a documentary. Yeah. So say what you will. Just as all things are possible through God, I'm pretty sure the devil might be the good guy anyway. I feel like history is written by the victors.

Churchill had some good quotes like that. Yeah, the devil is absolutely not the good guy. Churchill said something like, I think Churchill said, history will look upon me fondly. I know because I'll write it or something like that. How many people has the devil killed? A lot.

Is it? I thought it was like three or something. Killed? I can't win on biblical knowledge. I'll lose every time. Did the devil ever kill a person? I don't think so. Oh, like in the Bible, killing someone?

Yeah. I mean, he had a war in heaven against the other angels. He rebelled against God, and now the only power he has is to corrupt God's ultimate creation, which is man. Oh, says God. Which is causing us to stumble and not go to heaven and go to hell. And so in that way, countless people have fallen to the devil. I'm just saying I feel like God asks a lot, gives very little. Eternal salvation?

That doesn't sound like fun to me. Eternal? Eternal salvation? What does that even mean? Why didn't he promise houses? Taylor, I'll give you eternal salvation for $19.99. At least I'll say this about the No, you're not God. I mean, if the Muslims

interpretation is right, I might be. Like 72 virgins sounds way better than eternal salvation. I mean, I don't know as much about Muslim belief, but I believe eternal salvation is also part of their doctrine. Yeah, but they get pussy

like they have they have been in hell and know the i and again i don't know enough about islam but i think that 72 virgin thing is only for like someone who dies like a martyr oh fucking i i got you i ate that bacon for you, Lord. My whole life. And it took me down. And they took... Wait. 72 virgins.

You're a Muslim who's eaten bacon and you're expecting the virgins? Oh, I forgot about that. They don't like that, do they? No. I couldn't do it. You thought they were trying to... You should have made.

You ate bacon? Yeah, I ate bacon. I didn't know. Damn. Yeah. They would have been like, this guy just fundamentally did not understand the assignment. Like, he just really didn't get what we. Yeah. They would have been like, this guy just fundamentally did not understand the assignment.

Like, he just really didn't get what we were going for all year. That doesn't seem like the kind of religion where you can plead ignorance either.

They'd just be like, fucked her up. No. Yeah, I believe just enough to not sell my fucking soul to a demon man. I'm shocked that you would.

That's the one I want to know. want to know like y'all y'all see a lot of people do this they're like you know what i've lived my entire life without even the smallest shred of evidence this is true but a lot of people say it is so i'm gonna hedge my bets and i don't know i go with my gut i think the whole point of it is there is no evidence that's what faith's about so so the lack of evidence convenient what's the definition of the word you know well i mean without evidence that's like what all of christianity is in all these religions it's like it's you're saved at least in christ Christianity, by God's grace through your faith. I was not given the gift of faith. This is really on God.

You work on it. No, because he wanted to know what kind of bear it was earlier. His mind works differently. This does come back to the bear thing. People look at problems differently. Oh, sales are. No evidence. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Zach, pace it. Souls are inalienable consequently they cannot be sold even to the dental devil any such putative deal would be invalid before god it would be a mortal sin to attempt such a deal but the deal would be invalid and would not result in the transfer of ownership of the soul thus the individual's soul always remains his own and if he properly repents in such a deal before death, he no longer has the mortal sin either. Sounds like Kyle was about to get conned. Conned?

Yeah, he can't sell his soul, but I'm gonna get, I don't even know. A quarter. You agreed to like a nominal fee, so I can't get scammed. You can get your mortal sin, though, and I... This is the best proof I've seen of devil yet. I'm looking at him.

I get your soul. Yeah, you can't sell him, I guess. You can't sell him. Not yours to sell. Yeah. Well, even if I don't get the soul, maybe I can be a middleman for Lord Satan, just slide it across the table to him.

I know I can't handle it, maybe, but I could just go to, like, wedge it over this. You're going to go to hell to be a middleman? For all we know, hell is, like, the place you want to go. You aspire to be a middleman? I bet heaven, he, like, plugs your soul into some sort of God machine that's giving him all his power, and you exist as some sort of energy slave for all eternity. And he's like, salvation for all eternity, my child, my battery, my power.

And you're like, God's eyes flash along, you realize he's not the good guy. And Jesus is like the slave master. He's like walking, he's just a jailer. Yeah, I don't think so. I think that's retarded. But then the energy bubble next to you that's power goes, don't worry. On the moon, Satan will come for us. He has promised this.

And we're all down there like praying to Satan because he's the good guy. He didn't like God abusing humanity like this. God told us that Satan got jealous of mankind, but in reality, he pitied mankind because they'd been created to just be an energy source, to live painful lives, and then to die and be

power for God. Satan introduced sin to humans. Yeah, that's how it's not sin, knowledge, right? It was the tree of of right and wrong or the tree of the tree of knowledge or whatever it doesn't sound like a good and evil yeah it was good and evil again it sounds it sounds like satan was showing up and saying don't be brainwashed you've got to understand the master plan first eat this apple and we're like holy shit you're right now you gotta eat this orange and then god showed up and we never got

to eat the orange of fucking truth and darkness or whatever the fuck. No, they got in trouble because Satan tricked Eve into eating from the tree of good and evil. Again, that's God's version of the story. Yeah, I'm going to go with God. Are you? He named himself, you know. He named himself God? Yeah.

Well, who's else going to do it? There was nobody around. I mean, he could have called himself the boss. He does seem pretty conceited, right? I feel like 4 of the 10 commandments about worshiping him. Yeah. No graven image. No God before me.

My name in vain. No other gods. No idols. He's got a huge ego. Don't take the Lord's name in vain it's no other no other gods no idols huge ego don't take the lord's name in vain um and then all the rest are like honor your parents don't steal don't murder don't envy uh adultery is one adultery stuff like that coveting thy neighbor's wife. Man, quick. I like the pictures here. Yeah, I appreciate it. No other gods before me, no idols. Don't take the Lord's name in vain. Keep Sabbath day holy.

Honor your father and mother. No murder, no adultery, no stealing, no lying, no coveting. One, two, and three are about worshiping him properly. This guy has an ego problem. He needs the energy, my whole point. It's something about worshipping him properly. This guy has an ego problem. He needs the energy. My whole point is something about worshipping him is giving him energy

and he's using it. Sounds like he just wants a monopoly on the con man. That's a very Matrix-y interpretation, Kyle. I don't agree with it. I don't like it. I'm just a little worried that we're only getting one viewpoint on reality.

I'm not going to take Satan's word for anything. He's a bad guy. You know, I think you need to broaden your information diet. We didn't read his book. This is like getting all your information from MSNBC. I'm not going to take Fox's news for anything. It would be like reading Mein Kampf and letting that be your only bit of information about Hitler. Man, they're giving this guy a hard fucking time.

They locked him up for what? A little brouhaha? A little brouhaha. Man, this guy dresses sharp too. Holy fuck, you get to the end of Mein Kampf and you're like... Do you think there are pictures in Mein Kampf? I have the

illustrated version, thank you very much there are lots of pictures in my mind comp you can pull like things out of the side well my mind comp does have the pictures in it and uh yeah like that's what i'm saying though you only read my comp, that was your narrative. Let's all read Mein Kampf before next week and do a book report on it. That would be fun. Is it a hard read?

Is there an English version? Of course there's an English version. It's been translated into every language known to mankind. I think it's actually pretty long, though. I wouldn't know. i've never read mine comp you buy that shit dude i feel like a lot of those books are like real like communist manifesto like if you've ever read that it's super super short it's just a little that little yeah it's

a little fucking pamphlet but i'm i feel like in my head i've seen mine comp at the bookstore and it's like a pretty fucking big book i know i just found it online first of all when you buy it all the money goes towards uh israel scan past it it was a jewish proceed of some sort i mean it should be interesting and it was 720 pages at least this. It's a pretty good read, man. I don't know. He wrote it in prison, right? I think at least much of it. That'd be a funny book to review where you're like, it really got slow in the last third.

I was looking for a big payoff and then nothing happened. I don't actually know. I don't know what it's really about. It's probably just political philosophizing and stuff like that and like I would imagine it's a lot of like hashing over like what he thought was wrong with

Germany yeah my struggle and then towards the end probably prescriptions for what he thinks would fix it and it would probably be 700 and whatever pages of that yeah was he a good writer fix it and it would probably be 700 and whatever pages of that yeah was he a good writer

we know that he didn't put all his eggs in the painting basket you know I thought his paintings were fine they were fine but they wouldn't blow your mind no I don't think he's he was gonna make a living as an artist or anything but he blows me out of the water you know okay fine he's better than all he's better than all of us at painting

but if we were walking through you've never seen my. There's no way any of us are as good as Hitler at painting. I've only painted walls. But if we walked through an art museum, you'd blow right past the Hitlers. You'd only stop and look if it said Hitler under it. Have you been to an art museum? I would not blow past the Hitlers. No, I'm saying just by the virtue of the art itself. I think I've been to an art museum. I've been to art museums much times.

You wouldn't stay there and just stare at Hitlers. You wouldn't just see it and be like, who did this? It's magnificent. Do you know what I spent the most time on? The ones that only use white paint. I was like, what is this? Oh, wait a minute.

There is a painting here. This dude's staring at the wall next to the bathroom still. That's a curiosity. It's a white paint on white kids. I'm kidding. I'm a protester through coffee. You know, Da Vinci's painting

for the crime of being white last week. I always like the science museums. I like to look at the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs and all the science-y shit. They had all sorts of kid stuff, especially. You know that little thing you put on your

desk? It's all the pens, and you put your hand in it and they pop out on the other side of your face. They had a giant one, like a man-sized one that you could fuck around in. And on either end of this long room, they had these dome shaped chairs. And when you sat in it, you could speak with your normal speaking voice to someone like 70 feet away and like a normal voice because the way the shape of those two things were. I went to the South Carolina Aquarium, but it had this like big sandbox. And when you piled up the sand the lights

from above would shine on your tower and the higher you made your pile of sand the new lights would be exposed like it's first it's like red but kids are getting reds then it gets yellow and i'm like what's after yellow and there's like a green and all right what's after green and at this point i'm like gathering all the sand in the box making the biggest thing i'm getting to blue i'm breaking the record on this sandbox piling it was fun and then i had to get all the kids out of the way i wanted to muscle them out of the way but i actually did the opposite i kind of gave them my sand coward did either of you watch that uh late night with the devil movie that's on plex

no not for me it's pretty good um so the premise is i wasn't scared i was entertained though um the premise is that it's a 70s era like late night show competing with johnny carson and it's their halloween episode and so they're going to do some spooky acts and one of them is and and things actually start getting spooky so the viewpoint is from the tv cameras and like a behind the scenes like camera crew and stuff so you've kind of got that found footage feel to it but you really don't it's it's not a plus or a minus I didn't think but then there's lots of fun like effects and and gory shit and creepy shit it was pretty good it was like a they bring on a girl who's been possessed by the devil um and then

they have like a couple other a couple other acts some fun and fun stuff happens it's pretty dark at the end i would say it's um it was a good movie i liked it but it wasn't like a good movie. I liked it. But it wasn't a terrifying movie. It was just a good, scary movie. What was it on? Plex? Yeah. I'll check that out. I've been looking for a good spook. Haven't seen a good spooky film in a long while. I guess I haven't tried. I haven't been watching a lot of movies.

You watched Barbarian, right? I did. That was pretty good. Yeah, I liked that a lot. That was fucking crazy. Yeah, that was a good one. Man, I have not watched many movies in the last six months. If you want a good psychological, you're going to, whenever I tell people this, they get caught up in the fact that it's a sequel.

But The Exorcist 3 is the best Exorcist movie, I think. Better than the first one? The first one is very, very good. The second one is like a standard old school sequel where they just added a number and made the same movie again and it's bad. It's really bad. It's silly. Not a

good movie at all. The third one is good. It's got Brad Dorf in it who plays Wormtongue and any number of other characters. And basically there's a demon that's possessing this guy and he's a

serial killer doing horrific things. And what it is in reality is a demon is possessing people and bouncing from body to body doing the horrible things. And you've got a detective investigating it. It's a slow burn. There's only a couple scenes of just crazy, scary shit.

It's mostly just lots of talking in rooms with the demon man and lots of the detective being befuddled by the awful things he's seeing. But I like The Exorcist 3 a lot. I think it's really good. It's way better than the second one. I think I like it more than the a lot. I think it's really good. It's way better than the second one. I think I like it more than the first one. I think I do. Yeah. And I like the first one

a lot. Obviously, even the first Exorcist, it was the scariest movie of all time. Yeah, and like 1970 or whatever it was, 71 or whatever it was, no one had ever seen anything like that before. And you got to keep in mind,

so much of the audience was very religious. They didn't just believe they had a soul. They believed the devil might come and take it. So they were influenced by that film in a way that a modern audience just won't be. Plus, we've seen so many... If you look at what a modern horror movie is and how many...

They've got a timer. Every eight minutes, there's going to be they've got a timer every eight minutes there's going to be a jump scare every fucking eight minutes and it might be a double or a triple dumps jump scare you know the thing where it's like oh it's just you Jimmy oh shit the husband like come home like her whole

family comes in one after another to like home from school and it's a jump scare every time a new person walks in and it's nothing like it's every eight minutes it's a jump scare it's like the faces they go and like melt off with the crazy eyes it's like i've seen this so many times it's not scary i want a movie that creeps me out or a movie where when you put yourself in the position and it's hopeless those sort of not only bum me out but scare me like if it's like man i'd be i'd be in worse shit than you right now you did the karate kick like i can't do that kick

i'm way slower than this guy that'll happen sometimes like uh i think it's i get them confused i think it's 28 days later there's the part at the beginning where the guy he abandons his wife and all the other people in the house they've been holding out and because the zombies have taken he did the wrong thing or the right thing he did the right thing in my opinion it looked like she was being you know this being swarmed yeah i don't think if i remember there was no saving anyone yeah no okay okay i think you're both leaving out a critical thing i'm sorry can i just set it up a little bit? At the very beginning, they're in this room. They're kind of locked and bad guys,

zombies, fast, extra scariest zombies ever are entering the house. There's a kid on the other side of the room. They're a kid, husband and wife. The husband's like, ditch the kid. We got to go. The wife is like, no, we can't ditch the kid. She goes to save him. Husband is like, I'm out

of here. He has quickly proven right by not leaving immediately she signed her own death warrant and i've talked to a bunch of people about this and most seem to think the husband should have joined the wife in signing the death warrant in what was a hopeless attempt to save the kid and let me just say i appreciate that it's proven right as you say but not just right he barely gets out of that room he barely then gets off the roof he barely then outruns them out of the yard he's in he barely then beats them to the dock where the boat is parked and when he gets in the boat to like make his getaway they're all over hanging on to it with their fingernails he can he so narrowly escapes that i'm just like oh truthfully it's unlikely the wife would have matched his speed no even if she matched his decision to a medium zero chance yeah well i don't know how well she runs, but most women can't run as fast as me. This dude could haul out.

He was... I think you're right. It was that I'm terrified and this is the fastest I've ever moved run. I asked people about it and they're like, no, he should have a hopeless attempt to save his family. That's what he should have done. I'm like, man, he's obligated to join her bad decision. And I was like, what if a kid was drowning in molten lava? Is he obligated to jump into that and pull him out?

Knowing it is an absolute, no one's going to survive jumping in molten lava to save somebody else. Yeah. Kids already is hopeless. All you can do if your kid is in molten lava is decide to commit suicide with him or not. Yeah. And no one seems to think you should jump into molten lava, but they all think you should give the zombie thing a go.

Even though like Kyle said. It's 28 days later. It's 28 days later. A hundred percent. It's the first one. They're making 28 years later or 28 months later, whatever. 20 years later. Yeah.

They're making that one now. If you've never seen 28 days later, you can watch the opening scene on youtube to hear what we're talking about and i think it will pull you in and make you want to see the movie yeah as far as zombie movies go it's the only one where as you're watching you're like oh they're all more athletic than me none of them get tired like they're not stupid they're they're pretty bright they have like little band leaders seemingly that almost organize around your rage in that movie like like because killing people and having them like come back from the dead is like hungry man-eaters is is clearly like silliness but someone having like super rabies kind of seems like something within the realm

of possibility which is they're like bleeding from the eyes full. They call it the rage virus, I think. And they're just, I don't even know if they're trying to eat people. They're just trying to tear people apart or something. I don't really know. It's not a war path. Yeah. And they're super duper infectious.

Like in Walking Dead, for example, many people get into fights with these guys and win. These guys, I think they're... A drop in the eye and you're done. A drop in the eye and you're done. But what about scratching? I'm not really sure about that. It seemed like you were in a real...

It was very hard to survive a zombie encounter. And one thing about 28 Days Later that did well is the consistency. I watched every Walking Dead episode more than once. And it is frustrating when sometimes a single zombie walking on a pile of dead leaves sneaking up on you is a catastrophe. And other times, literally hundreds if not thousands of zombies is a survivable situation. 28 Days Later avoids that. They're all very problematic. Yes. Yeah, I appreciate that too um like you said the

inconsistency really ruins something like walking dead i haven't picked up the new series you know with rick and michonne or any of that i might see it but i haven't i might see it too i might even see that from show but but i'm i'm not into it right now i'll probably see it i can tell you if it sucked more or not yeah yeah i need a new show show. All I've got is my World War II history right now. I don't listen to my Warhammer lore anymore. I used to listen to two hours of Warhammer lore every day. I would go to sleep listening to Warhammer lore. I need a show too. We're going to finish The Gentleman in a little bit. I think it's a 6 out of 10, so it's not like I'm pushing it.

Once you finish it, watch the movie. The movie is mcconaughey and a bunch of other good actors and it's the prequel basically to what you're watching it's it's oh you that whole drug network that's underground it's it's all under like dukes and duchesses places or whatever it was all fueling one gangster it was his idea to put it under all those people because he knew it wouldn't be searched or questioned. The premise of the movie is Matthew McConaughey is getting out of the business. He's selling the whole thing to this guy.

He's also got lots of problems. It's a Guy Ritchie movie. It's the guy who did Snatch, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. My commercial. It's a Guy Ritchie movie. It's sort of a fun British Quentin Tarantino kind of movie so it's it's sort of a fun british quentin tarantino kind of vibe to it so it's good hmm rap and yeah yeah all right uh check out the links check out

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