Painkiller Already - PKA 699: RFK Brain Worm, Sony Caves On Helldivers 2, Insane School Rules

Episode Date: May 11, 2024

pka 699 just the boys this week taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro.com lock and load and blue chew three wonderful sponsors we'll get more of them later about two minutes ago kyle asked me one of the most baffling questions he's ever asked me to start a conversation which was did you see the picture of the bear with all the worms hanging out of its ass yeah as if like the same way i'd be like you catch the picture of the bear with all the worms hanging out of its ass? Yeah. As if like the same way I'd be like, you catch the Braves score last night. If I did, I would be disappointed with myself. Like I shy away from like baseball like you do when your mom leaves the door open after a shower or something.

Like, oh, no, no, no. I know what's happening in there. Like you just don't want to. Strictly bear butts in the Myers household. Yeah household yeah what are you doing what are you doing online i mean i go on reddit i i click all and then i flick my thumb until it hurts and and then i go about you know my day and then the bear anus was on reddit i assumed motherless after your recommendations on reddit nobody was fucking the bear like like all there was a black bear which woody thinks he has a superpower over by the way and this bear had i'm undefeated against black

bear long streamers of worms hanging out of its behind and and i like does like feet and feet and feet don't think like oh that's a that's a oh well it's like a 25 foot worm like the part that's hanging out of it and it's a bunch of them, and it's running along, and the people are like, damn, as it runs along with the streamers of worms hanging out of it. It's probably dying. That bear needs some help. No, it's natural for them. So bears eat things raw, as you might imagine, and their diet consists mostly of fish and refuse, which are full of parasites. So they're always eating parasites. That's why people tell you really thoroughly cook bear if you're going to eat it. You don't eat bear rare. Fair. Good gosh.

I only tell you because I care. Wait, wait. Do all animals that I know of eat their food raw? Do all animals have worms like this? Until I have a slight little thought, it made perfect sense. Not a lot of mammals eat so much fish. But in any case, bears are riddled with parasites.

And those long intestinal worms that they get just start coming out the back end. It's really disgusting. Was the bear skinny and sexy, though? He's wearing black. It's hard to tell. Slimming. I wonder if he has abs under that outfit. They all do. No, they don't.

Bears have abs? No, they absolutely do not. They don that outfit. No, they don't. Bears have abs? No, they absolutely do not. They don't have abdominal muscles? They don't possess them? No. Okay, they don't. Visible abs is the implication. Oh, I'm sorry.

Words have a meaning over in my house. They got big, loose skin, so they don't have visible abs. Have you ever seen a shaved bear? The sad bears? I have. I have, yeah. It just stands on hind legs. It has big, saggy bear skin

that's because they don't train you put up you get a bear in some inversion boots and have him do those upside down sit-ups like uh like a psychopath for a while he'd have he'd have visible abs okay well they don't know how to fucking do that some do i've seen bears do also ride bicycles and and you know obey command no that's what it me over. I've seen some bears do cool shit. If you put a bicycle in the woods, a bear is never going to organically do that. You need a Soviet with a hammer and nails to nail his feet to the pedals.

No, they like the bicycles. You're falling for the Soviet propaganda. They hated those bikes. You think a bear wanted that? I don't even want to ride a bicycle. Oh, please. That bear must have been the bees knees riding his bike around while the other bears are still trying to figure it out

like 50 million people are starving to death in the soviet union there's no way the bear is getting good food right actually with a lot of people starving to death that kind of solves itself i guess bear yeah i don't think bears actually it's been a big week for a bear talk i notice uh That kind of solves itself, I guess. Between people. Bear. Yeah, I don't think bears actually want to do that. It's been a big week for bear talk. I notice the whole internet's taken over by the bear versus man conversation and all of the comebacks that a man with self-esteem might have. Is that still going? That's been a whole week.

That's like 10 months in internet. I told you. It really took over the internet. I saw it all over TikTok, all over Reddit, all over YouTube. Told you. It really took over the internet. I saw it all over TikTok, all over Reddit, all over YouTube. Lots of those discussion panel podcasts asking ladies straight to their face,

would you take the bear to the fair? It's been fun. It's been a good week. Do you guys want to pivot to Red Pill podcast and we just bring whores on and we're like, why are you such a slut? I want that so much. Because I'll be the one who's like,

don't listen to him. I was going to do that too. You're married. This is perfect, so I get to be the fun part. You get from it. I like that Woody guy. If only he weren't married. Or they could suck my dick. What are you doing to me, Woody?

Touche. Yeah. I didn't think ahead. Those girls need management. Where do I go other than Andrew Tate to train on Red Pill? To become full man of this? You've got a fresh fit. If you've got a little melon,

that would be the place to go. Or you could go over to whatever. If you're kind of middle of the road, like yourself, I think you would find it pretty interesting. They have a lot of... Who's the dead black guy? Kevin Samuels? I'm close, but not right. Kevin Samuels, if you want to go back in time or to the afterlife,

you could watch him. No, his content's still up there, and it's good stuff. I remember you guys when you were going through that mini-phase. You guys liked him. Never really... I know Woody caught on to Pearly Things a little bit she's she's that redheaded girl who's like women are trash really yeah she wants the because the one of the i remember you mentioned her she's like we shouldn't have the right to vote but yeah she was oh you don't know that one that's my favorite one

did got past me they don't deserve to vote. But there was all kinds of things. Like, you know, you girls are getting ran through. Your value's getting lower. No guy wants to be with you, etc., etc. Like, she's totally lined up with that. I've seen pictures of her online. She's a big bitch.

She's not fat. Not fat. Tall. She looks tall. I don't know how tall she really is. Over six feet. Oh, is she over six feet? I'm almost positive. I thought she was 6'1". No wonder she wants to return to traditional values because she knows that her womb

would breed a warlord. Like a Barron Trump level. She does look like she'd do well on a dairy farm. Right? She can muscle a cow around, milk that thing. She's not helpless. She's a big gal. You know, some girls are so dainty, you're like, man, if the barn door ever hit her, that's it.

Like a little puffer. It's not her. If that fence needs repair, she's there. She's carrying a whole armful of fence posts out there to you. She's not, do you need this hammer? No, that's a claw hammer, you dumb bitch. You could really get along with her. Kind of hammer to use, that's a claw hammer, you dumb bitch. You could really get along with her. What kind of hammer do you use on fence repair?

I'm also a dumb bitch. I want my ball paint hammer. I want to be able to wrap those twisty twos around that round ball at the end. Twisty twos. Now you're getting a real farmer vernacular. Yeah. I just made that word up. So that's where I would go.

I would learn from the big, tall Irish warlord breeding lady. Yeah. Which is probably, you know, if I were like a six foot tall woman, I'd be like, let me create a Barron Trump sized human to take over the country. For sure. For sure. My standards would raise so much higher. Like, I would want that six foot five guy. Like, we're aiming for that for sure. my standards would raise so so much higher like like i would want that six foot five guy like like we're aiming for that for sure oh yeah for sure i'd be one of

those bitches my wife's five seven and i'm six foot and then our kid is like six two or three something like that i am clearly the weak link i didn't realize what i signed up for but my mom was the fucking weak link she's five four five four my mom's five four i was towering over that little lady like in high school and it's like what the fuck happened why couldn't you be big i could i could i could have played ball then this is pearl davis not true you're a whale if you're over 200 pounds i'm six foot top one percent in height for females if i'm not over 200 you shouldn't be either all right well if this is what she's saying online yeah you know she's speaking truth to power she's

pretty deplatformed though i of course she's on x still but what she she'd be banned from youtube question mark instagram that would surprise me i didn't know that uh for based beliefs well she's hanging out with white supremacists like nick fuentes and having andrew tate on her show and she just uh you know touching fire andrew i don't think she got deplatformed or anything at all i i feel like i've watched half a dozen videos where she's like please join my patreon i've been deplatformed my i'm demonetized kicked off tiktok i think deplatformed off that demonetized maybe a shadow band zach says is that shadow band a youtube thing i don't know uh a guy named fuentes is a white supremacist that doesn't oh you don't know nick fuentes i know him i'm not that

like overwhelmingly familiar but it's not a client you would agree if you heard his stuff that he's ah he's he's straight up pro-nazi he changed his name it used to be nick white power he thought it was a little on the nose that would be i mean that would be a good name if that if those are your beliefs yeah middle name wiped last name power like max power homer simpson's name yeah so you don't you don't have to come across all this horseshit if you just watch Age of Empires 2 stuff online. You're getting no culture. You're getting

no art. And you're getting no media. So you don't know what's going on. One of my favorite talking points is this. I mentioned the women shouldn't be able to vote thing. And the whole point is, first of all, it was always tied to selective service. One of the things that men have to do, they talk about privileges and rights,

and men could be forced to go over and fight. The draft can come back at any time. They can just start drafting us up and sending us over to fight in Ukraine or Palestine or whatever. But that's not true for women, and yet they have full voting rights to put in, say, a politician who would tout that. There could be a politician who's like, we need to draft now.

Women can vote for it. Be like, don't worry, ladies. Vote not at your risk. If you say that exact little soliloquy you just did and add, like, you fat pig at the end, we're already halfway there the red podcast yeah well i was telling you on pkn how those ripe 16 year olds are just prime prime time charlie brown like ready yeah i didn't i didn't like that

and yet someone's never read laura ingalls wilder i don't know. I've absolutely read Laura Ingalls Wilder. You might have been talking about me. I don't know that fucking book. You never read The Little House on the Prairie? No. You read that book? Yeah. Of course.

We're American children. We had to read that in school. I think like two different years we had to read that in school. Really? I read all of those books. Well, I read Dune. So that's cool. That's actually...

Okay. It's probably a better book i remember like uh laura ingalls wilder not being the kind of character i got excited for no it was a frontiers little girl who had frontier little girl problems it wasn't like she like went and fought the comanches like she had a problem with spoiled buttermilk or like one of the girls putting a pen in her in her chair in school or something i wanted more of the book to be about what her dad was up to yeah you didn't really get much of a window into that if i recall i also probably lied to my teacher and didn't read the whole thing because i never minded reading but i just don't like obviously don't like reading things i find boring the tv show was good um and i went to that movie ranch where they filmed the tv show so that

was that was kind of neat. But yeah, women shouldn't have all those privileges that they have that they don't have to. They should rewrite Sarah Plain and Tall, Sarah Big and Fat for the modern era. I read Sarah Plain and Tall as well. Yeah. Read all those. I can't believe you didn't have to read these in school, Woody. Yeah. I'm still stuck on titles. Sarah Cellulite. It's got a certain ring to it sarah so i bet there's a fucking x account of a disgusting pig named sarah cellulite right now we could find

that's selling there's an only fans for sarah cellulite that's popping off right now she's making 30k a month i bet i don't know there's no way no it's impressive how much money those ladies make from only fans that's another fun discussion that often comes up on this panel shows it's that it's that you know you're ruining your future um and you're not going and and unless you're sticking away enough for the rest of your life you're absolutely ruining your future and your family and and everything you know by doing this by going into sex work um and it's it makes a lot of sense and i saw one guy make the point that even these girls who make two or three million that'll be gone they're gonna be just like an nfl running back who got one or two seasons in them and make yeah they're gonna be drowning dogs behind a bar

it will be gone but only because they're making bad calls. If you inject $2 million into your retirement account at 18 years old, or just an investment account, you've really greased the skin. You're done. At 18, you're done. Come on. Well, it's hard to live on $2 million for the rest of your life. If you could just set it aside until you're 27, and now you've got something that's going to grow and you can just live off the gains.

Is there a point on the whatever show more that like you doing this porn and whatnot? Like, how are your kids going to feel about this? Of course, that's a big part of it. Because that is a huge thing to be concerned with in that. Like, you're really going to fuck with your kids. I think the red pills are destroying their future in a different way but so long as the current is bright enough it's okay like that just pearly things i don't know if she has a like cisco wouldn't hire her if they saw her

account or her social media thing her career in the Fortune 500 is over before it started. She has nothing going on there. Do you know who Mr. Fantastic is? He's one of the... Sharks. The superhero? Yeah, he's the one that stretches. He's one of the sharks from Shark Tank. Oh, the bald guy who's like,

I'll give you $150,000 for 15% equity. I do know who he is now. I might be thinking of him. I don't know. He might be something else, but he's something like that. So he's got a stupid fucking name that clearly he gave himself. But they were interviewing him about the Columbia thing. And he's like, oh, you love to see it, don't you?

Let me tell you how this works. In a Fortune 500 company, we do a deep dive. We spend about $5,000 to a third-party company. They use artificial intelligence. They use everything at their grasp to find anything and everything about you. You're out there right now with a mask on and think we don't know that you're burning an American flag, that you're raising a Palestinian flag. I can see your eyeballs in 4K.

You're not getting a job here. You're not getting a job anywhere. It was like, oh, shit. That's terrifying. yeah i'm not current on that i want to be like that's not what we do 15 years ago right i don't know um yeah i i think i think it is what they do if it's a it's a real position that i've got to keep in mind they're they're at Columbia. You know, these are future movers and shakers. Potentially, yeah. They're not looking for a middle of the road job. These are guys trying to really hit a home run

after their education, you would imagine, after spending $100,000 a year, whatever Columbia costs. Yeah, I don't know. Hopefully they're not running fucking eyeball analysis on everyone sure i have two friends that went to weird yeah there's all sorts of biometrics they can like they they measure your gait now like you can't even walk you could be you could be in a full like suit with your head covered up and they would see how your arms swing and how you're how you walk your gait i skip everywhere they. I skip everywhere. They would have you down.

They're like, ah, the biometrics would immediately, the skipper, that's him. Ooh, that's cool. I skip around the protest. I'm like, that's him. That's the skipper. What's he on? No one knows.

He's just really frustrating to deal with. He's got a whole pocket full of flags. Some of them not even relevant. of them not even skipping was an efficient mode of transport when you were young or is that just me someone told me at some point when i was a kid that skipping was faster than walking and also used less energy than walking which i realize now to be a lie that like an adult strung me along with because he thought I looked like a fucking idiot skipping. I thought skipping was the most efficient mode of transport. Running is exhausting. Even young Woody would run for whatever, half a mile and be all sweaty and tired.

Walking is slow and boring, but I found skipping to be that happy medium. The thing is, it's uncool. So anytime I had to go more than like a mile or so i'm just resisting the urge to skip maybe looking around to see if i can skip in privacy i would skip through the woods because yeah i don't know no one's looking no one's there you had your own sort of anne frank journey you just had to skip about and in private that's what she was so upset about up there she just wanted to get moving fucking called down the nazis are right outside bitch

get to get to writing write a bunch of weird shit in that journal that we're gonna have to take out later before we make it yeah i bet you know just like the uh just like the eyeball analysis woody if we try and start a red pill podcast and they show clips of you skipping we're done we're gonna be pearly things and andrew tate they're gonna bully us they're gonna be like look at these fucking fruits skipping andrew tate would bully me he's a good speaker and he's a tough guy i don't have anything to offer take Tate coming to you live from an Albanian prison right he's out right now but him

and his brother are going to have to face SAS charges and multiple bad things in court they're going to court and they could not come back out again because it's real bad charges but he's I saw him talking recently about the Mike Tyson Jake is it Jake Paul that he's fighting?

I get the, it's easy for me to forget. It is Jake Paul, not Logan. Yeah. So he was talking about that. And I agree with his take that he's like, I wouldn't fight Mike Tyson right now.

He's like, that's, that would be awful to, to, to, to fight a almost 60 year old Mike Tyson and hurt him. You know, like,

like he's not himself. Andrew Tate didn't say he'd lose. He said that he would feel guiltyyear-old Mike Tyson and hurt him. You know, like he's not himself. Andrew Tate didn't say he'd lose. He said that he would feel guilty about beating him. I agree with him. Like I think Tyson's in big trouble. Like I don't think he can fight young, trained, professional athletes because he's a 60-year-old short man. I find myself so unqualified to judge.

When I see Tyson move on a heavy bag i'm like oh my god he like he moves just like he used to when i see tyson i saw him um kind of like shadowbox play around with john jones in a non-contact way and uh he like did a thing did it again jones was fully baited third time he did it he gets to the side and everyone is like whoa that would have been a knockout and i'm just like damn this tyson guy is everything he used to be but then another part of me just doubts that i yeah i don't see it that way at all i i see time time time does it to everybody it doesn't matter what it used to be and and the real problem is it's not like tyson was doing it in his 40s it's not like tyson was doing it in his earlys it's not like tyson was doing it in his early 50s

he hasn't been doing and people are he fought that roy jones jr fight looked good roy jones jr is the same fucking age he fought another old man to a draw i think like it was it was an okay fight it was an exhibition get in there and go at it. Sure. But it was still like, come on, a dude's in his late 50s, and he doesn't have – I don't know much, but I would imagine that his body type isn't the one to go into your 60s doing professional combat. Yeah. He's a short guy.

He needs that speed and mobility, I would imagine, to be able to get on the inside and get his work done. I think – maybe I'm wrong. I think he's going to get embarrassed. I think Jake's going to knock him out. I think that the experts agree he's the underdog. Mike Tyson is the underdog.

I consistently buy hype and storylines around boxing, and then I watch it, it and i'm like how did they fool me for the 13th time in a row it's because rocky made all the movies that's what it is it really is we've it feels like boxing is the place where it can be done because we watch sylvester stallone pretend to do it for three or four decades like like every one of those rocky movies is kind of the same thing he's like you're over the hill rock yeah i don't work like i remember it was like the second movie and he couldn't see out of his left eye or something like mickey holds his hand up and like smacks him in the face he's

like see you didn't see that coming that big bruiser does it you're gonna be dead rock you'll be dead he's trying to hurt you hurt you bad yeah when you channel the spirit of philadelphia movies and won a world championship somehow along the way. Twice! He beat up Tommy Gunn somehow. All right, the Tommy Gunn was okay because Tommy, that was a street fight, you know? I felt like the bare knuckle thing. And they were incorporating, you know, like cars and junk.

And, you know, because Rocky had been an enforcer for the mob. He's a guy who's thrown down in the streets. And like, it wasn't this, you know... It wasn't a boxing match. It was a fight. And Tommy was like 20 and Rocky was like... Still, even then, Rocky was probably 40, 45 or something. He wasn't 57. And he's a fictional character as well.

That's how he... When he talked also, it was like that Ruski that he beat up. Ivan Drago. Rocky didn't fear CTE. He was born in it. He improved. A couple shots to the head. By Rocky 3 or 4, he was pretty eloquent.

He had gotten better. He has a speech in 4 that makes the commies change their mind about capitalism somehow. What are you guys doing over here? You can't even farm enough. You make him sound presidential. What are you guys doing over here? We can't even farm enough. That's kind of what he said. And his face is all a mess. I just believe that

two people, two countries. And he goes on this stupid fucking speech. And he definitely wrote. Oh, he shoehorned his own little speech. Why can't we all just get along? You know, he wrote Rocky I. I know that because Kyle's told me.

But Kyle also said all those movies are the same, so it's not even worth watching. The first one is an excellent film. The second one, I think, is very good too. The first one is a bum getting a chance. It's a bum getting a chance at the world champion because the fight falls apart.

Apollo Creed is the champ. He's a badass. He's got this big July 4th fight in Philadelphia where the country was born. There's a whole thing set up. They've spent a lot of advertising dollars and his opponent gets cut or hurt and falls out. He comes up and nobody can fill in. They go down the list of contenders and it's like this guy, that guy. no no no i want a italian a local let's give a guy a shot you know a chance at this it'll be huge and they find rocky balboa in this book and they only pick him because of his name the italian stallion is that why they yeah yeah they can give anyone a nickname yeah but but that's his that's his name in the book

part of their promotion idea was that it was going to be a no one getting a shot. Yeah, he's like, that's it right there. Italian Stallion, give me that guy. And he's like, I don't know, big man. He's a lefty. South Pauls give you trouble. Let's get old Tubbs McGraw in here to fight you. He could come up from San Antonio.

No, no, no. I've made my decision. The Italian Stallion versus Apollo Creed. Dude, Tubbsgraw is an incredible fighting name just off the top of your head i wanted to stop and give you credit for that i love tubbs mcgraw dude if i ever start fighting i'm gonna be fucking it's a baseball player but it's tug mcgraw did you was that in your mind at all or just parallel i didn't know that was a baseball player but i've got so many things jambling around in there that I know are things.

I just don't know how they connect. But it's probably. He was a star in the 1980 Phillies World Champions. I went to summer school with his daughter. Rocky's like 32, maybe 35 in the first movie. He's over the hill. He was a middling boxer who was just eking wins out against bums. And because he'd never really

put his heart and soul into it, and he's got this love story going on. The first one is very, very good, and I agree with Woody. The second one is just as good, maybe better. Rocky really goes to a low place in the second one. The third one is when he really comes into his own. No,

look, the fact that they kept making him is only indicative of a wonderful first couple of movies. The third one, he fights Clever Lang, played by Apollo Creed. I mean, not Apollo Creed. Mr. T. Rocky's trying to retire. They're like commemorating statues of him. It's done.

He's a multi-millionaire. Money coming from 30 different channels and he's retiring. He's doing a speech. All he has is a robotic girlfriend. Mr. T's like, you're running from me, Coward! You're running from me! And he's like, I ain't running from nobody. No, it's just the doctors are saying it's the

most unbelievable case of sleep apnea they've ever seen. But then he sees Rocky's wife, Adrienne. He's like, hey, woman! Woman! Yeah, you! Yeah, come over to my apartment later. I'll show you what a real man can do. They do that in a family.

I'll beat you harder than he ever could. Yeah, basically. And Rocky's like, you got it. And it's like, fuck, what are you doing? You get baited into it because he said something about your wife. You were sailing into the sunset and someone said, oh, fuck your wife. And you came back to get more CTE. Yeah, the movie wouldn't work if he's like i'm going into accounting or whatever no he's like killing

it he doesn't get the robot till four though the robot actually it's heavily implied that so when i say robot i mean like an 80s toy that a millionaire might have but it's tall it's a lot like rosie from the jetsons it's a lot like Rosie from the Jetsons. It's a lot like Rosie from the Jetsons. And it has recorded responses. This is not fuckable. Well, Pauly's a disgusting man. Everything's fuckable if you're brave enough. Yeah, Pauly's a rough customer.

He's definitely got syphilis. He's got one of them old-timey diseases. He just didn't get it treated. Not from the robot. He's a crusty old guy. Not from the robot that it has. Yeah. Yeah.

But I, I highly recommend the Rocky movies. I think they're very good, but they're fucking movies. And, and Mike Tyson is not a movie star. He's going to have to go in there and actually fight a kid who's trying to cement a legacy.

You Jake Paul is, is imagining I'm going to be one of the guys in the history books that when they look at who was the greatest and they're arguing whether it was Mike Tyson or Muhammad Ali, they're going to look at Tyson's record and see that I fucking knocked him unconscious. I feel like he's seeing that. Dude, you have to imagine Jake Paul's

a smart, savvy businessman. I do imagine that. There's no way he believes he's going down as like a great all-time boxer for being up 67 year olds how old is he jake isn't he in his like late 20s 25 to 27 is my guess yeah does he think they're not gonna like click any other links on the page when they're going to his wikipedia i just think a win's a win's a win. You know what I mean? Like, you got him. You got him.

I think something of that, too, because we're having a discussion right now. Will he beat him up? I don't know. He could pull a Rocky IV. I'll let Taylor side with this. The way that he cherry-picks retired and aged, broken-down champions makes me feel like he's, look,

a great fighter compared to most people but in terms of the greats he's a great businessman he wouldn't be fighting Tyrone Woodley twice to cement a legacy in fighting he wouldn't be fighting Ben Askren he wouldn't be fighting Mike Tyson to cement a legacy in fighting he'd be fighting another

guy at the top he'd be like hey Tyson Fury you stupid bitch good luck with that strategy. He'd be like, hey, Tyson Fury, you stupid bitch. Good luck with that strategy. Tyson Fury would be like, I would love $20 million. Let's do it. Tyson Fury's not over the hill. That's what I'm saying.

He's saying he's avoiding Tyson Fury. Would Jake Paul ever get in the ring with Tyson Fury? No. Of course not, because that would be a horrible career decision for this kind of little house of cards he's building for himself. Well, it makes a ton of money.

He's making millions and millions of dollars every time. And to his audience and to the people he's trying to impress, they don't care that these people are a little over the hill.

I guarantee the bulk of his fans have no idea what Tyron Woodley's record was in the UFC. They heard former UFC champion Tyron Woodley. And this is coming right off. He beat former Strikeforce champion Ben Askren. And it's like, holy shit.

He took one. He's taking a, he kills one MMA champion. He's on to another. Oh, then he KOs the Tyron Woodley when he comes back for the rematch. It's a good look if you're a Jake Paul fan and not a combat sports fan per se. It's like, holy shit, he's taking champions out left and right. I agree.

But even that framing is like the marketing of it and how smart that is. Like the idea that he's going to be looked back on as one of the great boxers is even as he has to be. No, I don't. I don't think that either. What I'm saying is that he'll be in the conversation if he takes this guy out. Like you can't putting yourself in the same conversation with Mike

Tyson is a fucking accomplishment. I would fight Mike Tyson so happily just to have done it. For free. You'd let Mike Tyson beat you up and down the square or whatever they call it mine yes it would be incredible i would love to take a beating from mike tyson it's been an absolute pleasure like thank you i bet i'd like it too because my goal would be to like you've already

been a hero of one. Imagine if I survived a round with Mike Tyson. I made it to the second. I crawled to the corner. Because that was Rocky's thing in Rocky 1. Do you think there's anything you can do better than Mike Tyson athletically? Oh, I was going to say read, you know? I was like a foot race.

No, I'm not sure I can beat him in a foot race. I could out swim him. I got him. I hear his knees are shot. I don't know. I don't know. I'm talking... Like, I see pictures of Mike Tyson. I got him. I hear his knees are shot. I, I, I look, I don't know. I don't know. I'm talking like I see pictures of my types and I see videos.

I don't believe any of them because I don't know when they were taken. They could be 10 years old. It's hard to tell. He's always looks the same, basically, especially when he's sweaty and the lights are weird. So I can't tell, but I would say this most 57 year old men with bad news who are that short can't hang with me in distance running.

Like they just can't distance oh i guarantee i can skate circles around mike tyson oh yeah there's one i think i got him there woody and i both have them in yeah meeting i think we all have them in in running do you think mike tyson could run a 5k like right i think i'm like no i'm not good at running yeah i could run a 5k right now you could do a 5k right now yeah i could complete a 5k do i have to run the whole time oh there are like i there would be time i wouldn't have to walk at any point but there would be some some slow jog i could definitely do that jog at walking pace thing for a 5k like i think i could do that like the more exhausting form of walking

and what i mean by that is like i would want to train a little obviously but i think in eight weeks i can run a 5k when i was cutting weight i was doing 5k on the machine every day like like every day more than that one time out of the blue i uh i did a 5k race it was was the Krispy Kreme race. Have you guys ever heard of this? Uh-uh. Oh, you run 2.5K, eat 12 donuts, and then run back. There's vomit all over the road on the way back because everybody's throwing up. That's disgusting. I didn't eat 12 donuts.

I had like three hours of pussy. Wow. But some people did. And on the way back, God, it's like uphill and there's donuts in your belly. It was awful. And there's vomit on the ground. My limitations were exposed.

How many miles is 5K? About three and a half. Does that sound right? I don't remember. Maybe. I don't know. I did three miles on my treadmill like two days ago, and it was not that hard. Do you know how long it took you?

It was on an incline. It took me like 30 minutes to do incline three mile running. So not impressive by any stretch. No, I think it is. I use an elliptical and I dial it in to keep my heart rate where I want it, basically. I don't care how fast I'm actually going or how far or how strenuous in like how much many watts i'm creating you know in the machine because it has that that'd be a good way to measure i don't care about any of that i care about what it's what my heart is having to do

for for what period of time i think that's a mistake people make with their cardio and and we're working out in general it's like why are you doing that cardio what is your goal it's like you know just trying to be in shape be more specific cocksucker what are you doing that cardio what is your goal it's like you know just trying to be in shape be more specific cocksucker what are you doing that cardio for like uh like do you want to fuck better like is that it that's a big part of cardio you get more cardio you can slam for 30 minutes right like you don't have to slow down you do you can get in weird fucking static positions whatever like like but what is you want heart health do you want to be a do you want more cardiovascular uh stamina to do the sport that you do? Do you want to burn fat?

I was trying to burn fat. So let's just set your heart rate to 140 or whatever. And don't make it 145 and don't make it 135. Keep it in that sweet zone. Even if that means you get to slow down for a little while. You know what I mean? As long as the heart rate is going, that's all that matters. My calves still look cool

and I want to last longer on a dirt bike because my friend doesn't seem to get tired as much as me. Those are my goals. What do you think it is? What position are you holding? Are you in sort of a springy sort of... It's a lot like riding a horse. You kind of head forward near the handlebars, butt in the air,

off the seat. My thighs get tired. Sometimes I don't even recognize myself as exhausted, but I'm riding poorly. I'm crashing on obstacles that I would have had no trouble with earlier in the day or

just struggling. Then my friend, he's so good at fucking everything. He's a world class paragliding pilot. He's a world-class paragliding pilot and he's been riding motor dirt bikes for like three years and he gets first place in every fucking race he enters now. I'm like, why are you so amazing?

He's my age. He has visible abs, doesn't seem to care or try. Is he Asian? We found him. No, he's from Denmark. Oh, okay. Wow. He's like, why is, okay. Wow. So he's the whole time. He's like, why is everyone else struggling so much?

Yes. Yeah. Oh, and he's so blunt and honest with his language. He's like, oh, you're a little bit fat and you're out of shape. And I'm like, this is the best I've been in years. See, the problem is you're an elf. Big, stinky elf. It's like, oh, Sven, that's not good for my training.

But we were racing to this infinite tumble. It's a paragliding trick, and I beat him to it. And it's one of my, I would love to hang my hat on that. He still can't do it. I'm years ahead of him now. I saw a girl pair a motorer the other day on my YouTube shorts.

She was showing off her booty while she crunked it up and started it up. I have no eye for this sort of thing, but her wing looked semi-aggressive and the way she landed looked like a purposeful I'm going to go right here kind of thing. Here we go. She knew what the fuck she was doing, I guess. She was right here kind of thing. Not a, here we go.

She knew what the fuck she was doing, I guess. And she was cute. Probably so. Yeah. There can't be too many cute girls who do paramotoring. It's a, my friend's wife does it. And she's attractive,

but she, a YouTuber. Yes. Yeah. Okay. I bet there's a very high percentage of that hobby. That's you. Does she have like a very nice

building she stores her paramotor in with all her other toys? And I don't mean toys in a dirty way. I mean like cool fucking like shit, like vehicles. Yeah, cool. That doesn't sound right, but I don't know. Sometimes they keep their stuff at an airport. I don't know if that's what you saw. What I saw was like

a quarter million dollar building full of another million worth of toys. Yeah, I don't think that's them. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Like lots of these little, I don't even know what they were. They looked like, you know how there's all those weird leagues of racing, like midget racing. And there's the one with the big wing on the car and stuff.

They had these weird little cars in there. I couldn't nail down what they were. They were, I don't know. Anyway. Paramotoring talk did you guys have any uh like ridiculous rules in school that you didn't realize were absurd until you were an adult all right so did you have a noise monitor at lunch that was a street lamp is red light green light yellow light and if you talk too loud as a group it it would go to yellow. And if it went to red, you got quiet and did for like three minutes,

like no talking. Yes. In grade school, we did, we didn't have a light, but we had a, the, whatever the narkeous teacher was would stand there. And if she thought it got too loud, she'd be like quiet time. We had a system, an automated system. And you could see like the, drone of you know 150 kids eating and you'd see it go yellow and be like oh find it down because if it goes to red it would be a couple minutes of just dead silence they'd shut us the

fuck up all right everybody shut up i think alarm went off it was like prison damn you had a more intense sound system in both my elementary schools by the way because i did kindergarten and a different one and then moved and did the rest of my elementary school somewhere else. And both of them had that system exactly. It depended what teacher was in charge that day for how strict they were. The first grade teacher was strict.

The kindergarten teacher was not, if I recall. I'm trying to think. I mentioned many times our lunch was super short because of the fights. Because of the fights. Because of the fights. Yeah. It was just like, yeah, our lunch was like six minutes long or something, but it was a little longer because the school was big.

So you had like six minutes to get to classes. So all three of those, like going to it, the lunch, and then getting away from it was like 18 minutes combined. So you could wolf down food, maybe finish it in the hallway on your way to class and i thought our lunch was bad middle school like in middle school we had 30 minutes which is short when you're like waiting in line and everything if you didn't bring your lunch and it was at 10 30 a.m and so you'd be eating at 10 30 and like you just have hundreds of kids visibly cranky and tired by like 1 or 2 p.m because you you basically had breakfast and then two hours later you had

lunch and that was that sucked they were not they were not fueling us for success in that cafeteria we had that too lunches went from like 10 30 to maybe 1 30 or something like that but uh i gotta say our educational system is kind of embarrassing you know on a global scale like i wouldn't want someone from denmark to come and look at our you know we had there's that whole thing about taking uh the russian premiere and showing them our grocery stores back in the cold war and like him crying or whatever however that that how much of that was true who knows but and like him crying or whatever however that that how much of that was true who knows but i don't know if i want to show like a guy from scandinavia an american elementary school like you're gonna sit here with a kid all day this is tommy you shadow tommy and see what it's like to

be a typical american third grader in a in a in a school he'd be like he'd get to lunch and he'd be like what this is slop like like the honest he's 10 but he fights at a eighth grade level like our lunchroom food in public schools is it's not as good as prison food prison food is better prison food is 100 better that was the only good thing michelle obama did actually i don't know anything else that she did do so i guess she has a good track record in my mind to get good food and did y'all have soda machines like with real soda in them? Briefly. And then they would like control it by only having it on in certain windows.

And those windows got more and more scant. All the way until ninth or tenth grade of high school, there was cherry Coke in the machine for, you know, 50 cents. I think, yeah, 50 cents i think yeah 50 cents that's what a can soda cost and everything's a dollar but cherry it was coke machines with everything that comes in a coke machine um and then in ninth or tenth grade some politician decided the kids were too fat and then we needed fruit juice instead at worst and so do you know that do you remember the drink fruitopia oh i remember fruitopia yeah

fruitopia is this juice that's not even juice that's like soda it's like soda with no carbonation and it makes your mouth feel kind of weird when you drink one like your teeth get gritty against each other and so they replaced it with that and it's like what the fuck that all you did was take our delicious i was was drinking Diet Coke anyway, or Diet Pepsi. Now I got to drink this fucking thirsty drink. Pepsi in Georgia, that's sacrilege. The more you drink, the drier your mouth fucking gets. That's a, fruit tofu is awful.

They did that with soda machines in my high school. Like they always had like the normal soda machine too, but often it wasn't on. But I remember there being times where I'm like, you know what i'm feeling a little health conscious today i'm just gonna get a nice 32 ounce blue gatorade which has like three times as much sugar as and sodium as well which you which you don't need michael jordan assured me that's an athletic food oh yes yeah and it was and it was not it's

like yeah nice mild sweat and gym better replenish well i did see i just on tv yesterday i saw michael jordan talking about how meah ham was a bitch and anything that she could do he could do better and i want to be more like michael jordan less like me and obviously was it larry bird did they have that commercial no it was michael jordan and me and Mia Hamm running through a savannah in Africa. And I always hated those commercials. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. Because Michael Jordan would be like,

they'd be saying anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you. And I'd be like, Mia, you're crazy. Michael Jordan would beat your ass in any athletic... Give Michael three weeks with a soccer ball and you're crazy michael jordan would beat your ass in any athletic give michael three weeks with

a soccer ball and you're in trouble like because it's michael jordan and this was like 2002 or something 2000 i don't know it's uh it's jordan and uh and barkley and larry bird that's what it is it's jordan and larry bird going back, topping each other. And then at the end, Charles Barkley's like, can I play too? Oh, that was the one where they're like shooting shots, right? Like off the scoreboard in the middle and shit. Yeah, there it is. I knew there was a Mia Hamm one. I always wanted to do that video with Richard Ryan.

I came up with that idea too late. They took my rights away. But I wanted to do the anything you could do, I could do better. And start off with like just regular skeet shooting shooting or target shooting would be the first thing. Very simple shooting. Pop a balloon with a pistol kind of thing. Then at the end, we're going to be jumping out of airplanes and stuff like that. How about that commercial, but with Jared Fogle and Harvey Weinstein?

You can do anything better than me. Yes, you can. Yes, you can do anything better than me yes you can yes you can they're sprinting after a school bus Harvey Weinstein got off on some charges is he like innocent innocent is he absolved and free or did they just make some of his charges out of

no the trouble is he's been found guilty in more than one state. So he would be out if it had only been in one state, but he's like, don't get me caught on the specifics, but I think he's serving California, and in New York he's out until he's proven guilty, but he's in because it's California. And there'll be a retrialrial. I forget what it was.

Maybe they allowed testimony that painted him in a bad light or something. Sorry not to, I suppose. Jack says he's in the hospital currently. He looked in poor health when he went in. They all do that though. His skin looked bad.

I believe it was Bill Cosby. He was already old. He had the walker that he probably didn't need but man like just to look like he was never a healthy man but they completely fall apart as soon as the trials start i'm gonna get a walker if i ever have legal trouble imagine the stress imagine the stress of like your every waking moment being and you're a public figure i believe they walk aside as soon as there's no cameras around we see it we see presidents and and one of my favorite things tales of the bible is when moses uh sees the burning bush after his hair is like white and apparently that's a i think

that's a real thing that when that traumatic experiences can make your hair just i don't know if it's real but i heard it as a kid and it was right there with like quicksand with my concerns about life it's like uh sweating blood like you can sweat that is a thing that happens like in intense times of of like stress i don't know how intense it have to be he looked bad there he you know he did look bad i I only got half a second of it. You know what he looks like? He looks like the Baron in Dune 2. Like the evil Baron. I feel like they dress him up and make him seem like his health is worse than it really is.

What did they do? Like ruffle his suit and make it look terrible? Yeah, and shave his hair. He looked better than that three weeks before the trial. Forgive me, Woody. But, all right, so when was this picture taken? If this is a new photo, then this is all prison getting dressed and prison haircut. Yeah, and this is years of bad diet.

Although, for all I know, that's... Seven hours ago. Yeah, so his suit shows up in a bag or something all ruffled up. They probably do it on purpose because they don't like him. He doesn't have a choice in that matter. That's someone being shitty to him, I guarantee. And then his hair you know i remember the prison haircut system and it was like you're gonna come on come on here come in

here whitey let me straighten you up and i was remembering back to you and i was like don't get squared up it's a trap i'm gonna wait i'm gonna wait till i get out and uh and he's like i'm only 60 days in you've heard yes To him, he gives me this weird fucking look like, you gonna be Samson or some shit? What the fuck? Count of Monte Cristo looking motherfucker? It doesn't make any sense. Everybody's in there for years. Those are the kind of references they're throwing out in prison.

You're well read. All you have is the library and sharpening your blade. But no, I didn't want a prison haircut and but it was weird to turn it down because i didn't want to be insulting what i wanted to say is dude i don't want a fucking prison haircut you know what i mean but he doesn't know what i mean he has no choice he has a prison haircut on his head right now yeah so he's trying to share the love with you yeah he's like one of us one of us and i'm like not yet not yet not yet but that's something oh the the stupid school rule

the the reason i brought it up i remember in grade school we had a perfectly good soccer field back behind the school there was a big blacktop parking lot between the school and this soccer field and it was a slope downward like a pretty steep slope parking lot blacktop and we played football every single day so we're like seven eight-year-olds playing football all the boys in class and if we even like attempted to step to play football on the soccer field on the soft safe grass like they would whistle us and pull us off of it and they'd be like you cannot play football on the grass play on the blacktop and so we'd have to and so there was like a real thing where it'd be like like we'd have to switch sides every time you know you had the ball and stuff like that

and it'd be like fuck they got they're coming downhill at us this is gonna be really hard how are we gonna stop them on the hill and so like kids got hurt every single day every single day a kid would get hurt because all it takes is a robust shove on the blacktop and then don't you love it there wasn't getting across you know how i know there's no male teachers there you're correct in that yeah because no one took that ball away because no one had enough common sense to imagine a hypothetical if you'd asked any of those teachers how they would feel if they hadn't had breakfast that morning but i did i ate it every morning dude they didn't this was like 1999 they didn't have cell phones to just take the ball or if you're a man and you walk by and you see a bunch of fucking like kids playing on playing on an uphill blacktop

tackle football, you're like, oh, oh, oh, boys, boys, give me that ball. Why couldn't you play on the grass? I don't know. I remember it being drilled into our head. Someone would go on the grass to start playing. I bet they wanted the grass to be nice. They'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop it. We don't want to play on the grass. We're only allowed to play.

We're only allowed to shove each other over on the blacktop. That's because the blacktop won't get damaged like the grass we're only allowed to play we're only allowed to shove each other over on the black top that's because the black top won't get damaged like the grass will that's true and like dude but those times where you had to be on offense going uphill that was tough these were these were not fair games that they made us play at all and i it wasn't until adulthood that i was like like that stupid bitch teacher like there was probably no reason, no stated reason we couldn't go on the soccer field to play. It's almost surely so that the grass was better.

Probably, but it's not like what games were happening on this grade school fucking soccer field. Nothing that intense. And we were like eight years old. It's not like we're barreling into each other, tearing up the grass. That was retarded. I hated that.

I don't know how your libraries work, but we had a security system you'd see at a retail mall or something. So every book had a transmitter or something in it. And you had to pass your book to the librarian as you walked out of the library. And she'd pass it back to you around the little security thing so the kids figured out what it was in the book that triggered it and oh my god everyone fucking ripped them out of the books and put them in the backpack in front of you or in your friend's backpack or your enemy's backpack so that when they walked through thinking they had no books they really had that security tab oh and then you just people at stores and you just like doing this i do it all that's what i do

with my days i go to the mall and i put those stickers on innocent black people it'd be the best. I remember my grade school library had like one section that everyone was, all the boys were always like trying to get to desperately. And it was just like big picture books that showed like guns or swords or shields or like tanks or warfare stuff stuff throughout the ages and i've talked to other people who went to different grade schools and they said that they had those books as well did you have those um i don't remember exactly i do remember that those are the ones i would buy at the scholastic book fair do you remember the scholastic fucking book fair and how it would be

the most magical day of all that was fun do you remember going out into the van the bookmobile and being like dude they played up the bookmobile so hard they must have been getting kickbacks and then you'd go out there and it's just a stinky van with a dude in it oh the scholastic book fair is this fucking pyramid scheme i'm sure but basically they they show up and they're and uh like the week before and they hand out these uh these pieces of paper like like multiple page pamphlet of the books that are coming at the book show and you take them to your parents and you tell them the ones you want and then you like attach a check to the bottom and you show up to the book fair with this fucking piece of paper with a check at

the bottom for the amount of the books that you want and they basically turn the library into a bookstore and the kids go and get all the books they want kyle's smart all right what you do is we're already in a library it'll be real hard real real real fucking hard to find these books if i just hide them in the library so i just take the books i wanted and i'd put them in the library with the other books that were public that were school books and then i would just come back and get them later so you cheated the system that's one way of putting it yes i like it i was never into the book fair i felt like i was the only sane person in the school like i don't know you just have these moments in life where you

stand a little taller than everyone else and like what the fuck are you guys all getting excited about you realize this place is filled with books oh i liked the books that what i just linked nerd nerd i was in where this is this book here that i just linked sack if you can pull a picture up i know it's a really ridiculous why he can spell obelisk i was reading man it's also how he knows what one is this this isn't like the exact book but it's close this is probably like a reprint that's much newer but they were books like this exactly where you would turn through and it was a ton of photos where it'd be like this is a sword used by the persian empire uh in the year fucking you know 380 bc and be like wow neat and then you went by era and so you could i remember just flipping back and forth and being like could this 15th century knight with this like crazy uh halberdier take on this samurai from this time

there was a dinosaur one that was i wasn't as big on the dinosaur one i like the weapons one the most i was big i see we have weapons at home i was i was very much familiar i liked that i like the dinosaurs i mean what is this anyone who teaches a woman's self-defense is setting out for failure oh swords and sabers i mean now i'm seeing i'm gonna buy like killer and i were very different children he He's here enthusiastically reading these books. I remember this. This is a true story. I'm like 13 years old and my parents desperately want me to be one of these reading kids. They make me

power through Robinson Crusoe. I fucking... Actually, that one I was so, so on. Every other book was... Okay. Every other book I just detested. Like Robinson Crusoe has made me okay with. And then it was just worse and worse and worse.

And it was like pulling teeth. So here's my parents, different than most parents. They're like, maybe penthouse letters. Maybe he'd willingly devour penthouse letters. And they never bought it for me, but I would have. I liked adventure books. Mom, I don't want to read about this guy getting head oh i definitely did it didn't work it didn't make you a rapid reader it didn't make you hungry for knowledge it just made you i did read penthouse letters i just had to find it on my own i liked uh my side of the mountain about a young boy who goes up to the Catskill Mountains

in upstate New York. That was a good one. He just runs away from home with the books he's been reading and survives. He lives inside of a hollowed out tree. He takes a peregrine falcon, the fastest bird in the world, from its nest and raises it

and makes it his falcon that he uses to catch small game and stuff. He does all sorts of, he makes like acorn pancakes. It's just, I remember that called hatchet. I think I read that Swiss family Robinson, um,

all those adventure books and anything where someone went out and like, Oh, I love the boxcar children. Mostly just because they were living on their own out in the wilderness and that fucking boxcar. I didn't realize like how sad those books were when I was reading them. By the way, I don't acknowledge Peregrine Falcon is the fastest bird in the world. No?

It's quick. It is, in a way, the fastest bird, but only in a dive. In a dive, I am the fastest person. That shouldn't count. I need fastest bird level flight. I think it's the fastest person. That shouldn't count. I need fastest bird level flight. I think it's the fastest. See, the dive is the important thing. Peregrine falcons aren't getting somewhere.

They don't migrate. They're there to kill. That's like their attack. I don't know, Woody. If you Google fastest bird, it says the peregrine falcon. If you Google fastest bird level flight, it says the white-throated needle tail now we got four words in there i'm gonna hang on to what i said as i'm not it definitely didn't

mean to say you were wrong only that i don't acknowledge falling with style as flight have you seen what they do they turn into a bullet and they are lasered in on like a mouse or a rabbit or something. And they hit it with so much force that it's stunned by just the impact. Do they hit it that fast? I would have thought they'd slow down by the time they hit it. They fucking smoke it. They hit stuff in the air that fast.

It's awesome. It's like when Randy Johnson hits a bird. Wait, why are there mice in the air? Well, they also kill birds. Yeah, they're smacking down the weak birds. If you have it it you can sick it on stuff i've seen this uh this black guy who rides around with his falcon and if he sees a bird he sees a bird out the window and he's like and the bird fucking it goes out there it takes out

a dove and brings it back to him and i was like holy fucking shit that was cool like i kind of want to be a falconer now that you mentioned it. Thank you for the dove, my fine falcon. This will sustain me for the next three minutes. You should be a falcon guy. I watched On the Waterfront recently, and I finally got to see that movie. Could have been a contender. There were pigeon guys in that film. Everyone was a pigeon guy.

Pigeon guy. If I walk into a public place, and there's a corner of people talking and they're pigeon people and then there's a peregrine falcon group I'm sidling up to the peregrine falcon group because I know they're already bullying the pigeon people behind their back. To their face actually.

What are you going to do pigeon bitch? Yeah right. You going to go tell on me with a message you carry miles from here? Look at this. I can text and I can also blind you from across the room. I don't think i could find a pigeon if i had to without going to an urban area do pigeons thrive in like woods uh so i rarely would see them in the wild i actually uh during a dove hunt shot a banded pigeon one time and meaning it's got a a band on its leg because it's part of some program yeah you gotta quickly take it off, strap it onto another bird.

You know, you threw that motherfucker in the bushes. We felt like we had like fucking accidentally killed a person. It was like, we gotta get rid of this thing. This is awful. Oh yeah, you thought Matthew McConaughey from season one True Detective was about to come ambling down your...

Yeah, I thought Russ Cole was gonna... I think somebody killed a pigeon here. Somebody was going to come for us. It's 20 years. Although, like, there was one guy who actually shot a hawk on a different dove day, dove field, many years later, and he claimed someone...

He didn't want to take ownership for shooting the hawk, and so it's just laying there in the field, this big dead hawk. It's a federal crime. And everybody's yelling, just get it! Just get it off the field! And finally, one guy mans up, gets on an ATV, goes and gets the hawk and disposes of it in the bushes. Not five minutes later, the law shows up. Like fucking game warden shows up the

guy who will arrest you and take you to jail for that kind of shit game wardens are scary if you're a hunter because if you like if you were to spotlight a deer for example you go out you know put a spotlight on a deer blind it and its eyes light up and you shoot it at night they will take your vehicle they will take they're all you all the guns in the car you're not getting them back then they're gonna hit you with a fine it's probably gonna be five ten thousand dollars or something like that and you might have to do some bullshit community service or jail time it's a serious problem my grandpa this is probably like 10 years ago now or something he was turkey hunting and they only had it like they were at the end of their permit amount like they only had one

more and he blasted one of them and he didn't know nor did the person he was with recognize that there was two turkeys one directly behind the other and he just collateraled two turkey heads killed both of them in one shot and he was like my grandpa of course is just like man that's fucking crazy that's you know i guess just throw it in the back then it was an accident and like he's like the person i was with was like we have to hide this turkey body we we're gonna get in trouble and he's like i mean you will i know i know jeff the warden around here he'd understand that's helpful yeah okay see so we had a situation where the guy's name was pageant i know his name because we saw him every day he harassed us like looking back it was 100 harassment it wasn't just him doing his job like he would check our deer license every day it's like what are you doing why are you you know you have a last year

right yeah he'd like he was like just harass us he would sit in his truck in the area we hunted in and wait for the shot and then come look for us to make sure we were doing the right thing it's like we have a stalker like were you doing the wrong thing never like i thought i mean i would shoot more deer than i was supposed to but like if i if yes well sure i never cheated in school unless i like didn't know what it was like the thing was i mean i'd look at other people's answers yeah you know i was like 13 or 14 and i was hunting every single day because i was homeschooled and so i got my limit real soon you know i've i want to say i've never missed a deer i've never missed a deer

yeah we both have that 100 hit rate no i haven't hit a deer oh well you're still zero percent then it's like schrodinger's hit percentage yeah but yeah i would uh i killed i definitely killed too many deer but i wouldn't kill them in an unlawful manner. We would never bait deer or cheat the deer. I would just kill more than I should have. You're not allowed to do that. What's cheating the deer? You could use bait. You could use a spotlight at night time.

You could... Those are the two main things. Shooting them from the road. I was so hoping it was like the one deer thought you were going to shoot it but you shot a different deer she did it now it's mostly bait it's people who use bait it's people who use um spotlights and people who shoot them from roads you know they're just patrolling basically and what because and waiting till they see the deer in a field and then shooting it and like that's super shitty so you can't like set up a deer feeding station?

No. No, that's a crime. If you're hunting over it, what you could do is you could have... What people do is they plant a feed plot. So they sow an area with a crop and then they bush hog it all down so it's dispersed. an area with a crop and then they bush hog it all down so it's dispersed and in that way through regular agricultural means there is a baited field um so people will do that and with with all animals like people do that youtube that does that yeah it's called feed plot um but if somebody has just big piles of corn that they've poured out in the middle of the woods that's a that's

kind of a different if you're if you're not subsistence hunting you probably shouldn't be doing that if you're subsistence hunt subsistence hunting then like do whatever you want you're eating all of it and probably like i don't know making tallow from the we have too many we have too many deer they cause a lot of car accidents and they fine-tune the limit that people can shoot every single year at least when i was they did, to go right along with the population. If there aren't hunters out there harvesting deer just for the fun of it, then those deer will be getting

old. They'll be too abundant. They'll be too concentrated, and disease will spread. The ones that die of old age die horrifically painful deaths. Hunters are even agreeing. If I was a deer, I'd cheat the census. I'd try to get double counted, triple counted, make them think the population, wait, I did it wrong.

I need to hide from the census. I need to hide from the census. The deer are so good at procreating. There's a million billion of them. You can hit a hundred with your car and there's a hundred more. They're like fucking orcs. I wasn't aware how good in bed they were, Taylor. Thank you.

They're great. Yeah. We killed all the predators're great yeah white butts there's no wolves there's no big cats anymore they're you know what i've noticed like around my house is they're the the coyote population must be exploding because i hear them almost every night now like they're they're chittering and laughing sound like like honestly yeah like that's

part I think of as a wolf thing it's a coyote thing also they they chitter more than anything else just that like weird high pitched are you entering back and forth? Not in like a sissy way, but are you scared of them? Are they a danger?

And you walk to your car, like, like there's no, no, no, they're there. You don't see them. Yeah.

They, they don't want to be seen, but like you can hear them loud enough. Like I'll be, I'll be watching TV late at night, like with the volume high enough that I shouldn't be able to hear it. And then I'll just stop for a second. But yeah,'s got to be like a dozen coyotes you know bouncing around talking to each other out there i've done like 100 yards away you can hear them a thousand yards

away you can hear them very very very far away there's a lot of woods like the forested area near my house no it's the opposite. They're communicating with neighboring packs and in that way they coordinate to share territory. They don't want to bump into each other. At night they'll have, it's called a locator call.

It's the howling wolfy part. If you throw one of those up, Taylor, they'll call back to you. If you do it tonight after the show, and wait, you'll wake that pack up and they'll start and their their alpha will yell back at you. And then his pack will join him in like chittering. And I'll try that. What time do you hear that? Usually pretty late at night, like after the show, probably like post show.

I'll hear him sometimes like they're like one of my neighbors, like like direct neighbor but very close to me has chickens like in a coop like in their backyard and everything and so i imagine they they occasionally go there and try and cause a ruckus get some some meat we would uh we would ride around and we would play a uh over a loud speaker um a game caller the howling locator call until you found the pack. And then we would drive to like the area of the pack was in. And we would play a tape of a coyote fighting a Fox or a coyote killing a rabbit, which sounds like a woman being raped.

Essentially. It's just, just, just high pitch screams and barks. And it's real upsetting to listen to, but, um, at use that to draw them in. And then with, high-pitched screams and barks and it's real upsetting to listen to. use that to draw them in. And then with predators, you can spotlight

them. They just limit the wattage on the light you can use. So you hit them with the light to find their eyes and then you shoot between their eyes with a scope. Someone needs to start killing coyotes around my house because they're clearly getting out of control. You should do it.

Why don't you be the hero you're looking for? Be the solution. Just go walk around my neighborhood armed looking for... Guys, I'm looking for coyotes. There's no fields near you? There's no wheat fields or corn fields or soybean? Oh, no. There's a lot near you? There's no wheat fields or corn fields or soybean? No. There's a lot of forested area, but

no agricultural fields near me or anything. There's probably people with a good amount of land nearby that have gardens and shit, but nothing major. That's weird. I don't know. For me, it's everything here. Yeah, that guy has chickens. I hear those in the summer.

Yeah, we exterminated all the coyotes in our area. There were no more because we just killed them. And they're not like foxes. They're not even cute. They're pretty ugly. Yeah, they're a... Coyotes are ugly? Yeah, they're kind of grizzled.

They live a rough life. They're small, wiry things usually. But the problem is they'll kill livestock. They'll show up in high enough numbers that they can drag down especially a newborn calf and kill it. One thing they'll do, dogs will do this too, they're great at it, is they'll

chase on a hot day, especially a young calf to exhaustion and kill it that way. They've got to go. They'll disembowel animals. It's real hard. it's real rough when you see what they do because you know it's nature's nature's very cruel nature's metal yeah every coyote you'll ever see you'll never be like he looks full

you'll always be like that thing is that need that thing needs a meal right just now or it's gonna die and be eaten by his compatriots new jersey Jersey has bears, lots of bears. The way you said they were grizzled, I see when I saw bears in the Rocky Mountains, they looked like pretty healthy, good looking bears. In New Jersey, they had manes, they ate trash and

I don't know. None of them really looked like they were thriving. I bet the East Coast black bears see postcards of grizzly bears and are like, someday, someday I'll make it out. We'll live out there.

We just need your father to collect enough trash that we can retire and make our way to Montana. Surely we won't be bullied by the bears. I don't, I think I want the bears to be exterminated i don't think i want bears to be in this country anymore i think that that would be if there was a vote for that i don't like that they've allowed those bears what non-bitch animals would we have we have wolves we have way too many wolves bears in some places don't worry they just signed some law to allow them to be thinned again when i lived in idaho it was like a a major point of discussion that people from idaho would be like yeah and then these fucking californians moved here and they all signed you know and voted for

this horse shit to get all the wolves replaced and make it so you can't shoot wolves and they think because you can't fly a helicopter out there and see them all hanging out that they're not there. And so they fly out there, they go, we didn't see any wolves again. And then meanwhile, they're expanding. There's hundreds of thousands of them now. And they recently, I think in Idaho specifically had in the last couple of years had to be like, gotta we gotta shut these wolves down boys like they're they're not only coming back they're flourishing in a way that you know the rest of the country could take a page out of the wolf book right now and see how much they're succeeding i thought when i don't know i heard some story like they let the wolves come back

it wasn't idaho i don't think it might have been california and all of a sudden like great things happened yellowstone thinned out is it yellowstone It's the wolves thinned out the rabbits and then the grass grew. And then when the grass came, like the foxes came back and like the whole ecosystem came into balance. It goes, it goes way, it goes too far. The documentary's tagline is how wolves reshaped rivers or something like that.

Because with the introduction of the wolf, it changed the whole landscape with through what they do is sort of the garbage disposal of the wilderness and that's great but the problem is in the midwest that's where we raise our cattle so wolves are just killing machines and they're not going to chase rabbits and they're not going to try to fight a buffalo a bison an elk a moose there's a dumb fucking holstein or not a holstein they'd be in the barn but like just dump cow over there you know they just they just massacre them so I saw some it might have been that crazy lady politician that that shot her goddamn dog somebody had uh had a tweet that ironically I bet she actually has

her finger on the pulse of a wolf situation there is there's an issue she knows about I never stopped killing them yeah I never stopped I'm a patriot that's what i thought my dog was that day i went wow she's doubled and tripled down she tweeted something like i'm like geez i just shot a dog i mean you guys eat cows and chickens and pigs and it was like fuck lady yeah is this a real tweet did she do that wearing like a Mickey Rooney Korean guy mask? He's like, all you Westerners make fun of me. You eat the other animal.

Who are we talking about? We're not talking about Christine Nome, are we? Yeah. Oh, that's who we're talking about? I'm not sure if she's the one with the wolf situation, but there was a lady Midwestern. Dakota? Lauren Boebert was arguing in favor of killing wolves, but i don't have an opinion on the top maybe she was i don't know colorado i could see them getting out of hand

there too that's not too far i never saw any anything cool in colorado we saw some oh that's not true we saw um really but you never went skiing you know we saw um elk or moose i think it was elk i think it was it was it was some it was some sort of deer thing i'd never seen before it was such that we pulled over and was like look look at that we don't have those back home that's when you know you've actually traveled somewhere and again i love to shit on the europeans because like you can travel so far in this country the wildlife changes there are new species that live in those regions when you go there and so like that's i was like oh shit i've never seen an elk before they're huge yeah they're giant huge but we saw better than trees that were like

i guess their roots connect and they're like the largest single organism on the planet it was pretty neat oh that discovery channel special got me hook line and sinker when i was like 12 and it was like coming up next after hitler and the aliens is you know the largest organism living organism of all time and i'm like whale giant ancient shark under the sea no it was a kind of moss it's uh and i was like this the producer of this should be thrown in prison is it isn't it like a fungus or something? Which is weird to me because... It may have been that too. I don't remember. Mushrooms are...

They're not plants or animals. The quaking aspen clone is the one I was talking about. It's a tree with white bark and I guess they're all connected and make up like something like 106 acres with just one animal in this plant in this case yeah

but so this was actually my last trip when i went uh with my buddy motorcycling on those all colorado mountain passes in utah and uh anyway he mentioned it but he has a tendency to have like a lot of facts in his head and half of them are true so i fact checked it and uh i'm a terrible person anyway it was kind of true there are a bunch of animals that lay claim or a bunch of places that lay claim the largest animal one of them is those what was it pando well there's different ways of measuring there's like there's the weight and there's the the area the biomass yeah the uh australian what the fuck is the great coral reefs is that what it's called uh yeah yeah yeah um they also lay claim to it through one measure or another

largest organism yeah that's kind of it i it for me to care it's got to have like a mouth and it's got to be here they definitely have no it doesn't get it coral has a mouth yes okay well then i have to reevaluate my yeah you want eyes it has to be able to move around like when i hear about the biggest animal ever the blue whale is the true holder of that yeah like it's got to be able to swim and hunt and do whatever the fuck it's doing because they they rank really high i think you guys might know more, on the Earth's largest animals of all time. It's number one unless they found something in the last three years. So far.

There could be something bigger. It's cool that we live at the same time as the largest animal to have ever inhabited this planet. And the smartest. I usually think there's some other. What was the thing that ate the big thing at the end of jurassic park for the new oh yeah don't get me started they keep they're making new dinosaurs with with you know gene splicing so it's like they made up a dinosaur they're fake news in us with that that i don't i do not want to see a dinosaur you know i don't shit on your documentaries i'd like the

same respect in return chris pratt taught me a lot i i literally saw that jurassic park where the t-rex gets like fucked up at the end and like as a like this is probably five years ago so i'm like in my late 20s and i'm like this this bullshit couldn't take down a t-rex like i'm like i have so much invested in the t-rex being the most badass thing of all time. Yeah, and that's... That wasn't real. Made up. It was like they just made like a super dinosaur. I really hate what they've done with that property. Oh, little shifting gears.

Do you know that Peter Jackson is making more Lord of the Rings movies? I saw that he was making... It's kind of like a spinoff from the Middle Earth world, right? It's like the hunt for gollum it gollum will be in it um so so he's producing and you know there's going to be more than one they're doing another trilogy he's producing and andy circus is directing andy

circus is the guy who does gollum yeah last yeah in case you didn't know taylor and i know like i have a lot of i i he does a lot of characters he's very jackson was the director taylor yes andy circus is the guy who crawls around i know what you're doing i do he's not good director. His last movie was the Carnage sequel. Did you see the Carnage sequel? No, I didn't. I've never heard of this. He's a Spider-Man villain who got two movies and Woody Harrelson's in the second one

and it's just real bad. It was a shitty, shitty movie, so I'm worried about... I don't think of Andy Serkis as a fucking movie director. I think of him as the mo-cap guy who's really good at that. Wait a second. Yeah.

So this you're saying I thought you were saying Peter Jackson was not a good director based on his recent stuff. Was it Andy Serkis who made Carnage? I'm not. I just made Carnage. I mean, Peter Jackson directed Lord of the Rings and did a spectacular job of it. And then we can all forgive him. He did so well in Lord of the Rings that I forgive him for the Hobbit. I'm not going to rewatch those ever again, but I forgive him it's a water under the bridge pete and i'm hoping maybe he did king kong with jack black and that was kind of thumbs

up or down tell me i never rewatched it and so i guess it wasn't worth re-watching yeah i i didn't want to see that they i don't i don't know why uh you know how like characters get so drilled in your head over like uh like you were talking about rocky for you because you've watched all the rocky movies a bunch of times like that's stallone like that is who rocky is like with with a character like aragorn because i saw a little whisperings that Aragorn was going to be in this Lord of the Rings movie. Like, Viggo Mortensen is Aragorn. I hear you. Is he too old to be Aragorn?

Very much so. He's an old, old man. Well, isn't he like 60-something? Yeah. I don't know how old he's supposed to be in the show. It doesn't matter how old he's supposed to be. It's what he's supposed to look like. He's supposed to look like a Dunedin fucking Ranger King Unless he's playing the end of his life

Which is what like 180 years old We saw the end of his life We've seen what he looks like The day he dies They showed the future Him laying there He's way too old to be that guy now He's way too old to play the corpse

Of King Theoden I know you're to play the corpse of King Theoden. I know you're right. Well, it wasn't King Theoden. It was Aragorn Alasar. Oh, yeah. You're right. King Aragorn. Yes.

Yeah. But I'm going to be so biased against whoever they pick for Aragorn. Taylor, there's lots of people with bad teeth out there. Bradley Cooper. Bradley, dude. Dude, if you want to see me finally take to the street and protest something,

it would be Bradley Cooper. He's the guy that sings with Lady Gaga, right? Dude, I don't even know if I can... Dude, make Lord of the Rings 4 a musical. No. Solve your problem. Dude, I don't even know if I can say... There are a lot of songs already.

If they made like Ryan Reynolds, Aragorn, I don't think YouTube turns service allows me to say what I would do. Who do you want to be Aragorn? All right, Taylor, it's time to change the world. It's time to change the world. Taylor, is there anyone? I don't know what this is. Screwing something

the final propane tank into my mechanism or whatever I thought it was screwing a grenade onto the launching I don't even know who I would like I don't know who I would like because the only people from that movie who still look young enough to like and the problem would be like Aragorn

would be playing a version of himself younger than the version that was in Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Like Gollum. Right, right. Yeah, so Gollum dies at the end of The Return of the King. And so he's not a part of it. This would be like Aragorn investigating Gollum much, much earlier because Gandalf had a thought that, hey, this guy's pretty fucking shady.

I hate that they're even... It's so stupid what they're doing. We're not going to like these movies. No, of course not. These aren't going to be good movies. They're not going to be good movies. Here's why. The reason the first trilogy was so goddamn good,

a big part of it is that Peter Jackson had five years of prep. Not one or two. That's why everybody's wearing a full set of fucking real armor in those scenes. Every character, when you look closely at their armor, you're like, oh my God, this guy ties his knot a little differently. I bet somebody wrote some pages about why he ties that knot that way. Everything looks so good. Even the Uruk-hai, they all have the same basically copy-paste armor,

but every set looks different. Because they're all, like, active. Like, it's prosthetics on there. There aren't a lot of rubber masks. There aren't, you know, you put rubber masks on the guys in the third row, for sure. Even in Lord of the Rings, I'm sure. But you don't notice it because they're way the fuck in the third row. The guys up close have prosthetics.

They have, like, what do you call it? Not fixtures. Like that dumb, that shit that they put on their face so like add like a goblin nose on their face sitting in a makeup chair with professional working on them they they don't want to spend that money and put that in i don't think that another part of the way the trilogy got made is they they tricked weinstein and at one point they're like oh yeah it's one movie and then it's two movies and then he's like actually i filmed three fucking movies.

But what he filmed, like a little, he filmed it in such a way that they had to give him three movies. I know Weinstein had a lot of weird opinions about how the trilogy or the Lord of the Rings should be brought to the screen. And he was going to ruin it. Well, hopefully you both will.

Thankfully rather. Yeah. That character is based on him on purpose. What character? Gothmoth or whatever. Oh, Gothmog. He's based on Weinstein? The orc who oversaw the capture.

Yeah, he's got that deformed face and that claw stripping out of his eyelid and stuff. Yeah. Go ahead and bring up a picture of Gothmog, Zach. And then if you search Gothmog Harvey Weinstein, you'll probably find a side-by-side of the two. Yeah. Because Weinstein has that severely pockmarked face.

I'm so glad that didn't happen to me. Can I go ahead and quickly Photoshop Gothmog sitting in a suit in court? I am a victim of human lies. The Easterlings have heavy influence in these courts. The Easterlings. I like in these courts. The Easterlings. I like the Lord of the Rings universe. I guess I never put those pieces together because I didn't know who Harvey Weinstein was

until five years ago. Look at the eyes. Wow. That's funny. You think this is them mocking Harvey Weinstein? It is. It's 100% them mocking harvey it is it's 100 percent uh they're mocking it it's um yeah no i mean the verse is good i wish they'd just do a fresh story i don't know what it needs to be but like we've established the rules from the first age like that not everything has to be

the war of the ring like they could they could go way back there's so much canon to go through for lord of the rings that they could do if they wanted to but kyle's a million percent on point that like they they wouldn't do the prep work and they wouldn't stay true to the lore in the way that clearly the lord of the rings producers and directors like were obsessed with that like at the time that they did it uh saruman uh christopher lee he like he had he was old enough to have had conversations with tolkien like he talked to him when he was a young man like about lord of the rings and so it's like that must have been awesome for you know i think i even saw like an extra because i've watched every bit of content about lord of the rings there is

where peter jack Jackson's talking. And he's like, every once in a while, I have a thought about the lore and what should happen and what shouldn't. And so I'd go to Christopher and I'd ask him because he loved the story so much. And Christopher and his commanding voice or whatever would be like, that's not what he mentioned when I spoke to him of it in 1931. And it's like, all right, Christopher, I trust you. You're also six foot seven. Tolkien hated the queers. He did.

I'm barely okay with Gandalf. The blue screen, stare Ian McKellen into my presence. I promise you that. You're not there a room with that poof. With that poof. Oh, is he gay, the actor? Yes, Darian McKellen is gay. He's one of the good ones, Woody.

Don't worry. Is he super close with Patrick Stewart? Patrick Stewart. He's also gay. I've seen them together. He's not gay. Oh, he's not gay. I've seen so many pictures of them super close.

I think he's at least curious. I think that's his best friend for a long time. I've also seen Patrick Stewart's wife. She's like, he's old as shit, but she's significantly younger than him. A decent amount younger than him.

Dude, I didn't even think Sir Ian McKellen is too old to be Gandalf in this. Of course he is. Who can play Gandalf other than. Of course he is. Of course he is. Look, like Gandalf, other than Ian McKellen, he killed it. He's my favorite. You know who does this right?

The Star Wars universe. Not everyone is a home run, but they will just like fire up all new storylines, all new ships in the same universe, same rules. Kyle looks like someone just came in the room and farted. Yeah, I don't know why.

I think Kyle likes, what is the new one called with Pike? Brave New World, maybe? I don't know what that is. It's definitely not Brave New World. Oh, shucks. It's the new live-action Star Trek. It's the guy who preceded Kirk.

Oh, Star Trek. I could have sworn you said Star Wars. Maybe I just heard wrong. In any case, i have real strong opinions about star trek i i do not like the um the kelvin timeline or whatever zach said i said star wars i'm sorry yeah i don't like that i don't like the trilogy when it came out i really like the first one something about that fucking like um the uh the acdc or whatever the fuck's playing or green day or whatever's playing when he's stealing that format at the beginning.

I'm doing the TV show. You've set me on to it. Strange New Worlds, the new Star Trek TV show is very, very good. I feel like it respects the OG shit well enough as well as the timeline well enough because Pike was the captain of the Enterprise

before Kirk and the thing that's alluded to often in the show, his future injury is a big part of like the first couple episodes of the OG 1967 Star Trek original series. Yes, you're right. I love that. this aberration in the world of media where like somehow it got through a studio system or a network system and they made a good show without every character fucking the one next to them in the ass and giggling like a school girl the whole way through no one's fucking talking about their genitals no one's crying it's pretty fucking good star trek can fire up a show and you have to go into it with an open mind because sometimes it's really going to be a miss and sometimes it's going to be Grand Slam. This one, Strange New World

I think you said it was called, is in a Grand Slam to me so far. I think the animated one. Damn it, I'm retarded. Upper Decks. Lower Decks. I'm sorry. Lower Decks. Lower Decks. Yeah, I think Lower Decks is a lot of fun. I enjoy that. I love it. I love it so much.

I like the voice actors that work on it. I love it so much. Um, I like the, uh, the, the voice actors that, that work on it. Um, I like seeing them, um, you know, and the live action version of them discuss the show. That's another one that it's like,

I don't know. I really, really Star Trek, um, pulled from like books or lore. Gene Roddenberry is the creator. He, he's,

he just created it. Um, it was his vision of this utopic future where every problem had been solved. It's a show. It's not like an old book series or something. No, no. It began with the original series with Kirk and the Enterprise. That makes it easier then because you have a lot more kind of freedom to play with it. The directive that he was given was to create a western in space okay that's what i brought it up as an example of what lord of the rings should be like okay we have a universe we have some established rules we know

the good guys the bad guys the races now go tell a new story i haven't heard before it can be before the one i know it can be after the one i know same universe go tell me a story and my i want goth mog i want a story about um i always forget the spider's name um she love she love i want some she love content you can make sexy she love because you know she love appears not only is that big grotesque thing but she can become this like temptress that would be so cool and maybe maybe there's a moment where she flashes those weird teeth that are in her mouth, those little sideways.

Does she become a sexy chick in the book? I'm pretty sure. She does not in the book. No, I don't think that. No, she's just a spider. A very evil and ancient spider. But Kyle's version is pretty cool too. I like it.

I don't want to... I would like maybe like i could deal with like an anthology style series if there was more if it was true to the lore and it all plugged into like making sense with the you know the war of the ring the the lord of the rings story like at the end the reason everybody hated and you know that show on amazon flopped despite having so much money is because they just ruined a lot of the lore they destroyed it we're both right um i'm thinking of middle earth shadow of shadow of war the video game in which she can transform into a human woman um but you're right and and canon she cannot yeah i didn't know one of the yeah

yeah it's one of those things that uh what what is um gandalf he's a a gaia or something like a mylar oh my valor valor something like that in any case i agree with you 100 like i want to say i like i would be okay with a smaller story set within the universe you know like like everybody doesn't have to be legolas or kim lee or you don't need a power team but what they should really do is make something fucking else it's not going to be good and i'm not going to do it i hate prequels do it i like i have a hard time with prequels because i know you know where we're going with this i i'm trying to think of the other prequel that's that's out now um a house of the dragon I'm trying to think of the other prequel that's out now.

House of the Dragon? How close am I? Yeah, House of the Dragon. While I am into it, it ended on a big cliffhanger. You probably remember where there was a dragon fight between the two young boys and one of them didn't make it. I'm wanting to see what happens next. That first episode is going to be good. I'm looking forward to it.

There's a little part of me that's always like, I know this is all for not like, I know how this ends. Two years ago though. Everything. That's what, so it seems to me that when you get your first season of a show and then it's two years before you get season two,

but now they're on a roll because they got that extra round of funding. That's going to be the case with Fallout. It's going to be two years before we get more Fallout. But in those two years... I wish you were wrong. They've got everything ball rolling now, though, because they proved how much money that thing can make. The video games are being advanced. There's

going to be video game tie-ins. They're definitely moving the ball forward with everything fallout it's a it's a big win yeah i i liked fallout the tv show um i the last episode i thought was a disappointment really i thought it was i i thought it was fine like i i won't re-watch it but like it it was fine i did re-watch it. I watched the whole season twice. I'll agree that the final episode could have been bigger, more climactic. Maybe we learn a little bit more.

Or maybe you learn a little bit sooner. It was like the last 15 minutes they explained the whole season to you, in my memory. And I'm like, I wish there were clues more. So I liked that. I liked that where we're sitting at the dinner table as it were. And everything comes out on all the cards come out on the table. I enjoyed that scene. I would have,

I really liked the, the scene where the ghoul played by Walton Goggins is, has that whole speech. He's like, bet you feel like a big man in that suit. I know, because I used to wear one myself. He goes on a little rant about how they've got a weak

spot, and then he no-look shoots the guy and kills him. I love that scene. I like everything with Walton Goggins in general. I've always really enjoyed that actor. He's good. I like his big toothy smile. Yeah. He's got a very big toothy smile um he's good and justified if you want like a show that's all out and it's multiple seasons of

i do not no that's it about? I'm kidding. I don't care. Okay. Okay. Okay. St. Louis Blues got the 16th pick overall in the draft. They really lost their way to...

The worst case scenario. You might barely make the playoffs next year or barely miss it. I bet you're excited to be there for the next 25 years. On the East Coast, what do they call it? The system or like the method or something? Man, yo. Wouldn't you have to look upside down when you read that? The absolute.

This is the only correct hockey prediction I've had in my adult life was the beginning of this year where I'm like, the blues are going to be the last team to miss the playoffs and they're going to get the 16th overall like the last possible of the loser picks and both of those came true fucking ridiculous like the and the black feet get the second overall pick again because it's a better run organization in the back office they knew we we got a tank. We got to suck. We're going to rain dance all over your little hurricanes can come back. They're down two games in their series. I think they can.

Yeah, I definitely think they can. Like they're they're a solid team. The Rangers are really good, but Carolina is also really good. So they can definitely come back and win. I hope they do. But that's also a series that that if it weren't for you, I wouldn't care either way. But I want my friends' teams to win when they're in.

The same reason I pulled for the old Braves before Kyle became so jaded. I'm not dealing with these brave fellas anymore. He's been spoiled by the University of Georgia. He's like, if you don't win the whole chip, you're terrible. That's how I've always felt. When we were getting knocked out early by Florida every year, I felt like that. It's first or

last when it's college football. I don't care about your fucking sugar bowl. Even in that movie, remember when he's like, but dad, you told me if I'm not first, I'm last. Bobby, that's ridiculous. There's second place, third place, all sorts of places. That's auto racing where that's true, though.

I was drunk, Bobby. It's true. It's football, too. There's rankings. It's not true. Who cares about who's second, third, or fourth? Taylor and I are both excited that our team's finished with a rank. That might help us recruit.

Who fucking cares? Mizzou finished with a rank. That might help us recruit. Who fucking cares? Mizzou finished with a nine next to their name. Everybody here was like, we're a fucking real deal team now. Yeah, you're going to be a problem this year. You're going to be a real problem this year. Are you? They're contenders. Yes.

Mizzou is pretty good. Mizzou is going to be a contender this year. They're going to be a top 10 team this year. They're going to upset somebody. When State finishes with a number? I would be interested in seeing who they play early. Mizzou is the kind of team that could upset a big-name

team early in the year for sure. They're going to be a problem. Let's see. It is first or last for me with sports like that because I don't understand how you can enjoy watching your team lose their way to a first-round playoff exit. Who fucking cares? What was the point?

What was the point? If they can't get in there and get the thing done at least once out every five years. This year, Mizzou's SEC opponents are. There's 30 teams. Are Vanderbilt. Yeah, and I want to be one of the good ones that wins every five years. That's what a good team does. All right, so I think Mizzou's going to definitely beat Vanderbilt.

Texas A&M, I don't know if they're good. Auburn, Alabama, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Mississippi State, Arkansas. Alabama early is a real fucking... Auburn is always a question mark. They could beat or lose to anybody.

I think of LSU that way also. Oklahoma is good also. Oklahoma is always a real team. That's a rough schedule. Yeah, it is. It's the kind of schedule, though, that if you win all your games, you'll get a –

Yeah, you're not going to get snubbed. You're not going to be like Washington or Oregon or something. Oh, but wait, isn't it 18 next year? That's why we're playing Oklahoma in the SEC because now Oklahoma and Texas are sec teams. And then the playoffs are expanded, right? Yeah. That's what I was saying. Yeah. I love that it goes to eight because at four,

you could make a legitimate argument that the team that was fifth, which might've been Georgia last year could have won the chip, right? Like the fifth best team that might've been the best team. It's hard to say, but when you go down to ninth, probably the ninth best team didn't get cheated out of their chance to be a champion. They didn't really have a shot. We were the ninth best team, and we beat Ohio State in the – man, I'm showing I'm really a fake fan.

Cotton Bowl, I think. Cotton Bowl, one of the main ones. They beat Ohio State. You probably didn't think that you were gonna win the whole thing if you were given the opportunity no no miss georgia did handled by alabama i felt like we had a very good chance if we were given the opportunity as good as anybody's yeah as good as i didn't no one was going to blow georgia out but georgia might have blown some of them out georg had such an up-and-down year.

It seemed like they played up to their competition every time. I'm looking forward to it. I'm glad that I've actually got a good team that I like that does fun things. I like the winning attitude that the management has. I like when coaches, like two years ago, when he would do one, two, fucking three, we're going one with three in a row. And we didn't win the third one, obviously,

but it was cool that he went into it with that attitude that like, we're not settling for two championships in a row. I want a fucking third. And then I heard him speaking recently about being hungry and being aggressive and attacking and being on offense. Like not, you know, as a mindset,

I really liked that. It's Kirby. Yeah. I like it. He's a goat before him. We had, um, I want to say Mark Richt, but that's probably wrong. It's been a mindset. I really liked that. It's Kirby. Yeah. I like it. He's a goat before him. We had, um, I want to say Mark Richt,

but that's probably wrong. It's been a while. Some pretty boy. My mom was like, Oh, he's so good looking. And I'm just like, he can't win a fucking game.

You want a fucking game? Tim Tebow's running all over our asses. And we can't. I have hatred in my heart for Tim Tebow to this day. Woody's like, I hope I want good things for Chris Pratt. I want bad fucking shit to happen to Tim Tebow to this day. Woody's like, I want good things for Chris Pratt. I want bad fucking shit to happen to Tim Tebow.

I hope his kids have one leg too short. Get beamed in the baseball minor leagues. Because he ran ramshot over my fucking team for a generation, for all of his career. All of his career. Yeah. Well, Georgia will be good again. You know he's got the longest putt in PGA history or some

shit. Tim Tebow does? Yeah. Good for him good for him pretty good at sports it was like 150 foot putt it was ridiculous it's a great video you even putten from that how big is the green you know really big don't you like chip it from it was sort of a downhill and curvy type thing it's like a it's a really cool video. Tim Tebow, longest putt ever. It's great. The crowd goes wild. So fucking hard.

You can fool yourself into thinking that putting is easy when you're mini golfing, but you don't realize like, oh, it's all 100% flat here at the mini golf place. That's why you can spend all your focus on the fucking windmill. And then you go to a regular putting green, and it's like, oh, there's a million. This is, I forgot. This is still the earth.

There's a million little like tiny grooves. It sounds like you suck at golf, Taylor. Just aim for the PVC pipe and it guides your ball right to the hole. I am. I actually, I'd love to see that like tiger doing like a putt putt golf course, but it's like, like he chips it like over the windmill. Past the gorilla statue.

It's a U shape. So he goes sideways. Would you watch that? Would you watch professional mini golf? And it was like really high level courses that were entertaining and stuff. I don't know that I want an actual league, but I would enjoy watching the pro golfers do a mini golf competition formula one does it all the time the best drivers on the planet and they put them in tiny little one-man boats they put them in like

uh i don't know they give them remote control cars they ask them to you know go kart stuff like that i would definitely watch professional golfers on a it would have to be like a really really challenging you do doubles very challenging but you do doubles and you have a celebrity paired with a pro so so you have like john daly and but he's paired with fucking jack black and you have like tiger woods but he's paired with who's a really racist celebrity? James Woods. I don't know him. He's from... I actually don't know any movies he's in, but he's

a cameo in some Family Guy episodes. Our game are really racist celebrity. Yeah. If they're really racist, they... Anthony Cumia. Anthony Cumia, Tiger Woods. That's the pairing. That's perfect. Wow, they're both the, they... Anthony Cumia. Anthony Cumia, Tiger Woods. That's the pairing. That's perfect. Wow, they're both the best in their game.

That would be funny. That would be a hilarious duo. I think I would... Because they have Hacky Sack on ESPN. You know? What do they call it? Not Hacky Sack. I'm sorry. It's the Cornhole. Cornhole Hacky Sack. they have cornhole on there so if you can get people to watch cornhole i know

people would tune in to watch like super mini golf or whatever the fuck it would be i don't like golf because i don't give a shit like as a spectator i don't i don't fucking care but i would watch someone do some cool trick shots and bank shots and uh over windmills and you know hungry hungry hippos that are coming out after the balls and also like that super fun to play though like if you're well there's a there's a chasm of difference between a really crappy mini golf course and a really really nice one that because it's also like the scenery like you're walking through a little a little wonderland i always go if i'm somewhere on like a vacation i always go we always did as kids as

well i can remember myrtle beach uh you know going and doing the mini golf early in the morning i always really really like it i'm not any good at it i'm genuinely bad at it i'm always high when i'm doing it as well like it's it's a really fun activity to do it's outdoors obviously so you can you can have a vape and you get really stoned out there so that's usually how we mini golf um and i'm awful at it i'm usually i'm just bad at it i can't i can't you don't figure it out by like hole seven or something like how hard you should be hitting it you know like the whole whole seven has some big uphill thing with flippers on it or something whole seven is not gonna make the club fit me.

Yeah. But the whole thing is like, how hard am I supposed to hit it? And you kind of figure it out over time. You also have to hit it in the right direction. I was mini golfing as a kid with our boy scout troop and I drilled one into a kid's ribs. Like,

like, like somehow by some luck of fate or whatever, I connected so well. I like, i hit it as hard as i could and i hit this kid right in the ribs and it was audible it was a you could hear it hit him dropped him like a sack of shit and i got everybody was so mad at me that's a stroke penalty for kyle dad was his dad was furious. He was screaming. How old were you? Young? Like, under 10.

Okay, but not by a lot. I don't know. Maybe 11. I would say somewhere between 9 and 11. Somewhere around there. But it's an old memory. But I remember the fucking sound. And I remember not giving a shit i i remember playing mini golf when i was probably like seven so my younger brother

was six and we were you know it was both of us and my mom and we were at this course and we were maybe like three holes in like the day had just begun. And I like hit mine. And like, you know, you kind of it's not like regular golf. Like you can kind of like walk up to where yours is and like wait for the other person to hit it. And my mom wasn't playing my me to be my brother. Maybe she was. I don't remember. And she was standing behind my younger brother and just like waiting for him to like tap it towards the the gorilla statue or whatever the

fuck it was and he like like he's john daly like like brought it way up out of nowhere and like knocked one of her front teeth out on with the club just and so i just saw him be like and then my mom like oh oh, what the fuck? And then we had to leave because he knocked her tooth out. And I remember like being like, that sucks about her tooth, but we can't, you know,

we can't, you know, finish up an activity. We can't, we can't play through. Can't play through mom. She's like, no, fuck no. She's like, no, I just, I just lost my tooth. It's one of my retarded kids.

Yeah, I can't believe it. I's one of my retarded kids. Yeah, kick a pivot. Kick a pivot. I swear. Smacked her in the mouth. Damn, I never hit my mom like that. That's hardcore. Oh, yeah. You ever hit your parents at all, either of you?

No, that would have gone so badly. Hitting a parent? No, that would have been, badly. Hitting a parent? No, that would have been... I don't even know what would have happened. I've told the story where I stood up for myself one time, and that was a mistake. You couldn't even handle mom. You weren't thinking about it.

By the time I could beat up my dad, I was like 30. That wasn't until like four years ago. You don't even know. he's hardcore uh did you ever strike a parent uh i don't think so no definitely not mom um i i um i'm sure she came at me before and i was big enough to like keep her at arm's reach by the time i was like 17 or so it so it was just like lady come on i was as big as i am now at 17 it's not hitting her though that's defensive yeah yeah and i remember um i always remember her going after my dad and attacking him and she was doing like titty twisters to him and she's

punctuating her fucking um mean ass argument with titty twisters and he's backing up like toward the door and she's like you motherfucker pow she's like she goes in pinches twists and pops and she's just grabbing his like chest and like his skin just like she's trying to hurt him but she's a little lady and he's a big man and he's just like not flinching because i remember she would punch me she would punch me in the mouth like by the time when i when i became like so big that she can't spank a man as of my size you know it's like what are you gonna do you're five foot four 120 pounds or whatever you fuck she'd make this little fist like this you do this little like because she didn't know how to make a fucking fist and she fucking punched me in the mouth

like she popped me right in the mouth before i knew what had happened it's a fuck and like even my lips bleeding i believe kyle had it coming oh prop well it's hard to say you know i could i i can if i see i'm winding you up and it's like it's like playing an instrument by heart it's like all right that string did a thing. All right, let's try that note, but a little sharper, you know? So I'm, I'm good at that. And I can remember watching her get mad and thinking it was funny and wanting more, more cause she would get just ferocious and she would scream and when she gets really mad, her eyes cross. And I thought that was funny too. Um, and, uh, and, but yeah, I get, I'd let her get too close,

you know, just like Mike Tyson. And she pow, popped me right in the mouth. And then it wasn't funny anymore. It's like, it's like, Oh, she got me.

Like, I gotta be careful. I can remember fleeing to my cousin's house with like a bloody lip. Like what happened? Mama beat me up. I drove there. I'm going to go pick up a six pack of beer that i can legally buy my mom just punched me right in the mouth yeah yeah but but i definitely probably had it coming and honestly like how else is she gonna discipline me because there's nothing she can say because i've got a car

and i can just leave and she can't hurt me without like grabbing a fucking weapon or something like that i'm just too big and she's too little so i i support the punch in the mouth honestly i know you know i'm sure she felt bad about it all in out of favor unfortunately and look at the look at the youth woody the the youth that's never been punched in the mouth i think everybody should be punched in the mouth at least once and no like like because it sucks you should do it the gym teacher i just think it should happen in life like when you mess up, you should get punched. And then you're like, holy shit, I shouldn't do that. Clearly, that was a fucking mistake.

I don't want this anymore. Maybe a peer group. A rival at school. Poppy in the mouth. Absolutely. I said some shit I should have said one time and I got my nose broken for it. And I learned.

Don't say that that what'd you say i said something mean i don't even want to repeat it was mean i said a mean cutting thing because i want a person person hurt my feelings so i heard them back and i went too far that's fair sometimes when you're at a young age you don't realize when you're going really hard in the paint you're just i'm hurting and i want to make you hurt too yeah i said the meanest thing i could think of and then when i wasn't looking that kid punched me in the nose and i was like oh he hit way harder than mom he did he hit way harder than mom he broke my fucking nose and i and i learned from the moment i learned you can't just say whatever you want to people unless it's over the internet everyone should have like a borderline abusive sports coach

at some time in their life so then you can appreciate you know good structured discipline my dad would punch me in the arm sometimes like like especially if we were in the in the car and he's driving him in the passenger side and i, I gave the wrong answer, he might give me a punch in the arm, but it was, you know, hard enough to like throw me into the door. I did that to my younger brother once so hard. I, I don't remember what I was mad about, but we were yelling at each other and I was driving home from school and I just dead armed him as hard as I could as 16 year old me. And he was like, like crying. Like I hit him so hard as i could as 16 year old me and he was like like crying like i hit him so

hard immediately he pivoted i was like don't tell my mom i mean like i'm 16 he's 15 so like we're yeah we're coaches good taylor did you like him there was a it depended on the team i was playing oh no i don't really think i ever got like man advice from coaches but like there was and like it's the same way that like you realize sometimes at a young age that you're smarter than your teacher is like i remember one like because i played it you know like my real coach who i like respected for my higher level team like when he told me to do something or cause like that team, like had a specific goalie coach. And so I worked with him and like,

he was a guy who played in the NHL briefly. And so like when he said, this is how you hug the post, you were out of position for this. That's why they scored there. I'd be like, yep. Yeah.

A hundred percent. I see what you mean. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to factor that into my next decision. Be sure I'm, you know, hitting both my posts, staying square. and then for my high school team like it was a guy who had a tenuous

grasp of hockey as a whole and no grasp whatsoever of goaltending and so sometimes he would like tell me to do something in a drill and i would just not he'd be like hey taylor you come out here to the hash marks and collect that puck and like just slow it down briefly so your defenseman can pick it up and i'd be like yeah you saw that on tv like there's like me skating out to slow down that already slowing puck is impeding the defenseman from maintaining his speed to go around the back of the net like if it were firing in and i wanted to keep it from rebounding off the end boards and like being like bouncy or something for him, then I would stop it. But like I'm not going to meaninglessly like make a move for no reason that takes me out of position.

That's only going to get in his way. Did you have that experience at all? What do you like a coach who gave like good advice maybe for life or beyond the sport or something? No, I thirsted for it. My high school coach, I can remember there was a girl and car there's a guy i'll server it like he was like father figures to these people and i could have used a good adult in my life and uh he just didn't seem to be on my side uh it like so um you might consider being on the top relay team like being a starter. And in basketball,

football, whatever, the coach picks the starters and he might use all kinds of different factors in his judgment. But in swimming, it's fair because there's a fucking clock. And if you're one of the fastest guys, then you get on the fastest relay team. That's it. There's nothing to it. He tried to talk me out of my spot it's like what do you know it'd be nice if lyle had it this is last year he's a senior i'm like i'm a senior too yeah but why don't you give lyle your spot because i'm faster i've been faster than him all season and what happens is at the end of the season you do a race see who's faster right now

right which one of you guys is the man? And I beat him. Like, I beat him in every fucking race. And he still tried to talk me into giving out my spot that I earned because I'm faster. And it's just like, you are playing favorites, and I am not your favorite. That is very clear.

And I could have used him. I wish he liked me. Yeah, that's shitty. That's just bad coaching. Are you trying to win or not? This was for states, by the way. We got fifth in the state. This is a team that mattered.

I mean, it's New Jersey. You had the fifth best swimming team in New Jersey. Yeah, but he wanted to put the slower... By the way, I was not the slowest guy on the relay team. That's the other thing. That's what I was going to like what take mark's spot if you want us to lose i was first or second because on a relay it's a little hard to measure because um the first guy

starts off the block and then everyone else gets like a flying start which lowers their time and uh the the rule is your feet have to be on the block while he touches the wall so you're like you know two yards into your swim in midair with just your tippy toes on the block when he's touching the wall that's the goal yeah so it makes you faster so it's hard to compare all the times but i was the fastest or second fastest guy on that relay team and he wanted to bump me off it to put the fifth fastest guy on there fucking that kid's mom or something. Because he liked him more. And everyone else on the team. As a grown man, how do you like a teenager

more to the point where you want to change the... I think this guy got kind of bullied when he was like a freshman and sophomore from the older boys and then when it was his chance to be a senior, suddenly this surfer walks in off the street and is faster

than he is like that that's lyle's maybe side of the story but i'm like well i was faster because i trained hard and i was faster and nobody like that wouldn't help lyle in the long run with his teammates anyway because everyone would be like we really need woody in there to get the points or however it's structured like no one's going to be like, great job, Lyle. You, you lost us the race single handedly. Right. Right. So that like that coach is even putting him in an uncomfortable position where he's like, Hey, if, so I talked to Woody and Woody said,

he might give his spot up. Would you be comfortable doing the four man relay? That guy's probably like what? So the rest of the guys can like bully can bully me for ruining our chances at this? That's just a shitty coach. You need to do – sometimes if you need to win, you need to put the right person in. I remember on my high school team, not that checked in, didn't care that much, but there was one game in particular

that we were playing a team that wasn't very good. And my backup, Jake like before the game and i like when i think i'd already played a game like two hours earlier for my other team and so i was like jake you stepping up you playing tonight bud and he was like honestly taylor i think we need a win here and i was like okay i'll play the whole game then and it was you know and we did get the win probably largely because of that but like he had a football coach nobody would have been happy with him if he would have let in three squeakers and then we lose you know five four or something i had a football coach who had had a traumatic brain injury like the year or two before and no one had quite yet realized that he was retarded.

No, no, no. He was hitting the head with a baseball bat. He was assaulted. Baseball guy. Oh, more of a street fighter. And he was genuinely somewhat retarded. Yeah. This grown man who was coaching our football team.

Over his head gambling. Like there was an assistant coach. We were pretty young so it was, you know, you don't really notice as a kid but I remember hearing my parents talk about it and so the next time we had a pizza party at his house

after the game, the coach's house, and I was like man, that lady just wiped coach's mouth. That guy was at his wife's house. He had been a regular guy, but he had been damaged, and he was coaching us. Does your wife not

take her nurse outfit off after work? I remember learning nothing about the game of football. I remember at the end of the year, I was like, so we're supposed to get – that's the quarterback. Okay. All right, so we should be trying to get him. And anyone he hands the ball to or throws to. That was like last game of the year we picked that one up.

And so you don't think it helped your development? You could have played in the bigs. I just remember that being the worst experience of my childhood, that stupid football team. It was just awful. We'd travel around and get beat up. I had a great football coach who, like, it was just awful we travel around and get beat up i had a great football coach who like it was just i only played in middle school uh but what this was like middle school football and he also somehow got assigned by the school to be a tennis coach and this guy not only didn't know

tennis but from his body language had an active animosity towards it as a sport. And so like he'd like he'd take you out there and he wouldn't even go on the tennis courts. He'd be like, all right, everybody hit it around and then around it around. And so we just would kind of structure our own games out there. and he would sit up on the stairs out back the gym kind of overlooking us and this is like late high school age so like the first iphones that could actually go online kind of you know we're out and so he would sit up there and look at his phone and smoke cigarettes and and that was it if like, not one person ever asked him like, Hey coach, am I serving this correctly?

Cause he would just be like, it looks, it looks fine to me, Brett. Like he could not have, we had a ton of, we had a ton of teachers with that attitude. It was all of the coaches that had to also teach like some part of a

curriculum. And they would tell you, and not just the coaches, they also shop metals, automotive and technology though, that those electives, they would tell you and not just the coaches they also shop metals automotive and technology though that those electives they would tell you hey we're supposed to spend 50 percent of our days in those desks over there with those books we're supposed to take written tests in reality what we do is whatever the fuck we want all day every day in here we you want to weld go well you want to go sit out you want Go weld. You want to go sleep? Sleep.

You want to go chew tobacco out back? Go do it. Knock yourself out. Don't you smoke. I can smell it. That was shop. You could do whatever you wanted. It was free hour. And you got an A. That's what construction was too. And that's what automotive was too.

You just had these classes where, look, if you want to be part of the program, we're building a cattle trailer over here. It gets auctioned off at the end of the month and the proceeds are going back into this fund that we have. You can be part of that. You can learn to weld. I'll teach you. Or fuck off and don't bother anybody. Some kid would go huff gasoline in the shop room. I mean, that's what he did. One of my gym teachers and slash a coach from high school, the guy that I think I've probably mentioned him on the show before years ago, that he was a grade A meat gazer. He would watch us.

We're like 14 through 18 or whatever, and we're showering. Because even in gym, i know some people are like really get a ladder going boy let me show you come here some people's gym i can talk to some people at other schools and i'd be like yeah you guys showered after gym right and they're like what do you mean we just kind of like stood around and we didn't even get sweaty that's not what our gym was like everybody was having a good time like playing whatever game it was competitively because it was just all guys gym we didn't have co-ed gym obviously yeah like jim was obviously i i thought that was more normal than not but yeah we we didn't have we had segregated gym

do you have segregated gym woody oh no well i maybe yeah this is my boy john scott popped this six this fucking ninth grader's nose oh shit oh it bled volleyballball. I took gym 12th grade last semester, so we were dominating. I was 6'1". He was 6'4". I'm fucking setting him up so high, and he would drill from the – he was the pole vaulting champion. Yeah, see, you guys, no wonder you didn't have that much fun in gym because there were girls that –

Yeah, we had segregated. What I'm saying is we dominated. That was a girl. Oh, you dominated the girl. Yeah, we didn't have that. Girls are the worst at volleyball. If a girl doesn't want to play volleyball, let her not play.

Just stand in the very corner. She was voluntarily there. I know. It's just life advice. They would pull a tarp down. You know how they split big gymnasiums sometimes with that big tarp? They had a big tarp they'd pull down.

If you couldn't go outside or it was rainy or some shit and the girls gym and the boys gym would be on opposite sides. And sometimes it would be the same game. And we could like hear how intense our kickball was. And then like, if you ever had to go grab the ball from their side, it's like, this is just like seven groups of girls just standing around talking like

not a, not a drop of sweat anywhere on their side of the gymnasium but anyway we would everyone would be sweaty after gym because we had a good time got very competitive with stuff and then you'd have to shower because gym was often earlier in the day can't go around the rest of the the day around the girl that would okay maybe your school was pretty cool starship troopers it was a bunch of 14 to 18 directed by paul verhoeven yeah but this guy uh would stand there and he would stare at uh at you as you were getting out of the shower and he would all like like the his apologists like who played on teams he coached or something would say stuff like he's just making sure nothing gets too rowdy or crazy. Meanwhile, you know what the cigarette smoking guy did when he would oversee it?

He would sit in his office. And then if he had to come out for some reason, because people were lollygagging and we're going to be late, he would come out like eyes like either way up at the sky or way down at the ground. He'd be like, boys, 10 minutes. You got 10 minutes till class starts. I can't have you guys all being late again. You know, let's get it together. And then he he right back in his office he had no desire he had no desire whatsoever he doesn't sit there and look at naked boys yeah it was not in his heart he just wanted you to get to class so he didn't get like he was resisting into the desire this was a good i

shout out that coach i like this coach testicles and was checking for not descended testicles and hernias. At my school. I don't think they do that anymore. Dude, he walked around like he was trying to avoid gore in a slaughterhouse, like even seeing anything. He didn't want to see a thing. This other guy, though, would lean up against the wall exactly where the towels were hung up, and then he would watch as you got out and dried off,

and then he'd stand there and watch everyone, and sometimes he'd even poke his head around into the shower and like he was he was a meat gazer and i remember even at the time me and my buddies almost all of us being like this is fucking weird why is coach always watching a shower and like all this it's just bizarre we're 16 or whatever no like they didn't and then some people would be like later on became a subway spokesman he later on later on he gained a lot of weight and then he lost it he eventually got in trouble and lost his job for like suspicions of impropriety of that nature and like and even now me and like all my friend group of guys from high school i'm still buddies with well like there's one in our group who's like kyle with michael jackson where

we'll hit or this one guy will be like nothing was ever proven not one bit of it not one iota of proof you guys are just haters and all the rest of us are like dude he watched us shower for years years unnecessary compliment your pre-bro just compliment my you're becoming quite a man no he would use

sanitized language that would make it that makes it much Taylor you're developing into such a fine young man. Coach, please leave the shower. It's just us in here. Yeah, that dude. He put a hand softly on your chest.

Hold on, big man. You're not too big of a boy to have a little back and forth with your coach. I checked your schedule. You got a study hall now, champ. Nothing to rush off to. Nowhere to go nowhere to go at all where's your where's your clothes did you misplace those pesky clothes again

you realize the towel rack your towel's missing yeah dude to this to this day like well like if i'm out you know drinking or hanging out with buddies and this topic comes up the same one guy one of my close friends will always be like nothing was you know you guys are just hating on him for no reason and all the rest of us are like that guy was a fucking creep dude know what do you remember how the cigarette smoking coach behaved yeah none of that do you remember how a substitute pe coach would behave they acted like it was poison to venture out there when we were naked. Taylor, I'm on the other side. I was the creep. We had a course called Jazzercise as freshmen in high school or sophomore.

And it wasn't desirable. Nobody wanted Jazzercise. We all wanted to play the cool things like archery and golf and shuffleboard or whatever. That's ridiculous. What's that? Just so you know, those are ridiculous electives they're super cool i know they are like i'm jelly like we had none of these things but as a as a freshman you just run as a sophomore you get last choice and i got jazzercise and uh every people hated it because

at the end you had to be the leader that was like the final exam and you're the guy up there jumping jacks and doing dances and you know whatever but uh for 99 of the class you're just muff gazing just muff gazing the whole goddamn time you know there's like you're on all fours you're doing that like dog lifting his leg thing yeah yeah yeah that was my sophomore year. A little brain blast that I just, this came back to me this very second, is that same coach would sometimes have us do like yoga exercises. Oh, downward facing dog? Literally, yes. Like yoga stuff, and he'd like walk behind us while we were, okay, I was already

sold on my theory let's look this guy up I feel like we need to go down that Facebook rabbit hole I have looked him up and I've found him because a buddy of mine who agrees with me on this sent this many many years ago when he got fired

for supposed impropriety I don't know what it was. He sent it to me and he's like, look, I think we were more on point than we realized joking. Is he a pediatric nurse now? I fucking hope not. I hope he's not working at any schools.

That guy was a creepy dude. Was there anything suspicious about his post-school activity? Did you find something out? Ice cream now or something? I could see him, you know, making a lateral move into the ice cream biz. That seems like a serial killer, you know, diddler adjacent kind of thing. Those things go hand in hand. Once you deal, like, what do you do with the kid now?

And I also remember this one English teacher in eighth grade would, like what do you do with the kid now and i also remember this one english teacher in eighth grade would like give the girls back massages in like the middle of class sometimes and just having a feeling in my head like this is this is wrong this shouldn't be happening why does he touch it why is this 35 how old were they uh well how old are you in eighth grade 14 not quite ripe yet that's uh that's too young you're very young yeah you're too young to be getting touched by a 35 year old well i don't care for that one bit i don't care for that no no man this is really i'm honestly getting a little skeeved out like just the boy thing was bothering me and now that like i'm a little upset i genuinely am because it's like the worst thing right bothering me. And now that like, I'm a little upset. I genuinely am.

Cause it's like the worst thing, right? You would catch this guy looking at your penis. Like we didn't make up meat gazer. Cause it was funny. He was looking at our dicks. See, we didn't shower.

Nobody got naked. I had, I had co-ed gym, co-ed weightlifting, co-ed advanced weightlifting, like all that shit. You'd mixed everybody together. There were no classes where it was only girls and only,

or only guys that didn't happen. Even home ec, ec even like home ec like there'd be like two or three dudes in there learning to fucking make muffins dude if you didn't shower you would get bullied for not showering for being a stinky kid nobody showered so everyone was a stinky kid i i always did i had jim as my like second to last period and and it wasn't a big deal. I don't know. A bunch of us were going in there, and everybody was sweaty. And I mean, if we stunk, we stunk, I guess. I don't remember stinking. Yeah, but that's an age where a lot of kids don't recognize they stink yet. But even now, I have to work out so hard to beat deodorant. In my most difficult workouts, when I have sweated through my shirt twice in the last two hours or whatever,

yeah, I'll start stinking because I've just sweated through deodorant. But just a little 45-minute gym thing in school because we had AC in the gym. It wasn't that bad. You didn't get drenched with sweat. We always did outdoor stuff if we had the weather for it. Yes, we should.

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You want to see what giant cums look like. You want to see it from your own dick. Check it out. You want to baffle and mesmerize your sexual partners. Paint him or her white. I don't know if you guys noticed, but for maybe the only instance of this happening in Internet history. But recently there was a big problem with the game Helldivers 2, which is a contender for game of the year. It's incredibly popular indie developed game is this company called Arrowhead.

And it was in the original user agreement, but no one noticed it. It says that you have to have a PSN account to play even if you're on PC. But number one noticed it it says that you have to have a PSN account to play even if you're on PC But they the they disabled that requirement for the first like several months of the game So lots of people bought it having no idea or having no idea that it would ever be a requirement And so suddenly they say hey, you've got to have a PSN account linked or you can't play the game And it's this game. We all bought and there are countries that don't have psn there are countries that you can play hell divers in but you can't even get a psn account you know what i mean so like something like 167 countries or something all of those

players were just fucked so there's this huge uprising um online the ratings dropped um it seems like a justifiable reason for a lot of consumers to be like, fuck. Yeah, I was mad. I went online and gave it a negative review and filed for a refund immediately. Everyone did.

Sony backed down. Sony backed down. Another reason people don't want PSN accounts is Sony has had a terrible track record of hanging on to people's user data. They had that whole issue where, and if you don't know how this happened, the big Sony hack, it was a North Korean response

to them making that movie shitting on Kim Jong-un. That fucking comedy movie. Yeah, they did not like that movie. So they hacked Sony's user data and fucking released it and made them look like shit like that's the best way to attack a big company like that i'm sure it was because to

this day i'm like no i don't i don't i don't really care that much but like that's part of it but the main thing is all those people who just couldn't play anymore we're just going to get scrapped so sony backed down and changed the requirement it was the first instance i've ever seen of a big corporation like that being like okay we'll go the other way we're sorry it's it's a beautiful thing is the damage already done though because like you're not gonna reinstall it and jump on again a lot of you know online on if you look at like the hell divers to reddit they're like okay let's change your reviews back the other way. You know,

like they kind of got that mentality about the whole thing because they did the right thing. I'm not going to play anymore. Mostly because I'm done with the game. I don't really, they're releasing new weapons and shit, but the gameplay loop is the same. I'm kind of, I'm tired of killing the bucks.

I'm done. I'm looking for something else. I don't know what it is, but I was just kind of done with the game in general. Yeah. Fair enough. You'll find a fun game. I don't know what it is, but I was just kind of done with the game in general. Yeah, fair enough. You'll find a fun game. I believe in you. I installed Age of Empires 2 today.

Oh, nice. That'd be awesome if he did and played. The most hurtful thing in the world you could do is learn to play and get good at it in secret and not

play with me. This is don't throw me into the briar patch written all over it. Sorry, Taylor. What's your ELO again? Ooh. My guys, they're really... I don't want to drop down and mess up the flow.

And then mess with you guys in the dregs. We're all 2,800 ELOs. Damn, you're up there with Hera? Yeah, yeah. Damn, because he's the number one player. He's very good. He was until Kyle got into it.

We call ourselves the Parcel Tongues. We each have a different snake as our code name. If you actually got into it, that would be awesome. It would be so much fun. Well, if you hadn't said that thing about Justified earlier, I might have considered it. Justified? What do you mean?

My favorite show of all time? Timothy Oliphant as a U.S. Marshal. Oh, don't get me started on him. I both know who he is. Oh, the Oliphants. They're huge. I both know who he is, and I love him. He's the sheriff from Deadwood.

The sheriff from Deadwood is a U.s marshal in harlem kentucky and walton goggins is a white supremacist neo-nazi type uh explosives artist and uh they used to dig coal together and uh it's a it's a real fun show there's like five seasons of it criminal shit shooting shit i know you're lying about installing aoe2 and it still gets me you think i am there's no way that you actually downloaded it and you didn't jump in and play with me really did you actually download it i think he's proving it he maybe he is actually proving it which is look i don't know how it. Well, it should appear online in the bottom of your screen and just like, yep, look at that. No. You're appearing offline.

Well, you could look on Steam or you could look on Discord. Any case, I did. In any case? Oh, well, do you want to play after the show? No, say no. I got boys who are jumping in after the show who want to play and a lot of them are not so good at the game. And you'd always be on my team.

The same way you protected me in Helldivers, aside from that time you stuck me with a grenade and killed me. I won't even do that. I'll treat you as my precious jewel behind me. No one will attack my sweet baby. Yeah, I'll play. Yeah, I'll play. Yeah, I'll play. I've been looking at swords all week.

I had a little bit of sword envy. For those of you non-paying customers, on PKN this week, Woody and Taylor both got out their swords and shields. Yeah. Well, Taylor didn't have his sword. He just had a hockey stick. I had a hockey stick, and you really had to put me on blast for not having a sword there. Wow. That's the fucking stuff.

You know what I saw last night? A real deal Gandalf staff made out of heavy hardwood and painted to look like it. It was on the same sword website. See, I keep going down the rabbit hole of buying this sword. I've done it almost every night for weeks and i always i'll pick the sword i'll go through it and then it'll be like oh it's 1080 steel that reddit thread said i should really be looking for 10 fifth or whatever the fuck and i'm just like i start but but it's like i'm not gonna go into sword battle i'm not going on a crusade i mean i might but i'm probably not going on a crusade with this sword so why don't so still gladius style right you're mostly no no like last

night i was looking at like a falchion i was looking at um i i don't like the the cavalry cavalry swords the big curvy ones i'm out of i don't like those at all but I definitely want like a white guy sword it does the one I saw did it had a sort of a I think it's a sharp on one end and not on the top and it's got a little bit of a tippy tip thing on the end like a bowie knife but I want one that's got that

I don't know what you call it but where there's sort of an inlay in the blade lengthwise so that it doesn't get stuck in a person you know what i mean they put they got that groove down the center of the sword on both sides oh yeah yeah just actually on the middle that's what the purpose of that was i've been told that's why it's on bayonets like like a us bayonets was you know like that concave groove in between i guess it can create like a suck when you like stab someone it can create a suction where it's

difficult to pull back out but that groove I guess allows air to flow in and so that you can withdraw it more readily that's just what I read this is a requirement on your sword yeah yeah go big or go home like get a good one like yeah and I want your first one you know like sometimes you get your first sword

and then informs what you like in a sword see I don't like that though I just want to buy one fucking sword. I'm not looking to have a wall. You're coming off like a casual. I just think you should know that. I am a casual. Now, what I saw last night, it was about $600,

and it was a Crusader fucking sword, Taylor. And on the hand, it had a very simple handguard, but it was nice. But on it was engraved in Latin, like some sort of oh it was the creed of the um knights templar it was something like truth honor justice or something in like or no like trust in god and trust in truth and it was something like that or something it said some cool shit in latin uh and uh and then it was the same it was that blade that i'm looking for that because i want something that's...

I kind of want a hand and a half sword. I don't want just a wave around with one hand sword. I kind of like a bastard sword, but I don't want a big, long, heavy thing either. I don't know. Is a hand and a half sword a bastard sword? It is. Okay.

That's a... I saw an interview with Kit Hrington who played john snow and he was talking about how the depression he went into playing john snow he's like i'm just playing this character that's so good like he's pure good he does nothing wrong he never lies he's never he wouldn't know how to tell one but in my real life i'm not that guy i'm not that guy at all but that's how people treat me they treat me like i'm the best guy ever and it made me feel awful and i just drank and drank and did everything yeah he's talking about going into this like severe depression alcoholism drug use like spiral

because he he had so much to live up to because people wanted like thought of him as that character and he helped me with the names uh the short assassin chick and the tall redhead so far yeah yeah their actual actor names yeah the actress names um in any case those two were real life friends uh they look like they're not the same age but they are yeah and they would get together at night and just hang out and talk and such. And I guess they would eat too much and get fatter, which she's like, that was probably a bad move. But they would complain about the online criticism they were getting, and they hung out every night and did stuff. On the sword discussions, Zach? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pull up that one. You know, you guys are talking about what you want in a sword. I'm the only guy here with a sword. That's true. Woody is stomping on us right now. And he's clearly taking good care of it. You know, you talk a lot of shit. I've got the best sword on the show by far.

It's so sharp, he dare not touch it. What does it say on the side? In Latin, it says, through laziness we prosper. Truth, justice, and rust rust that was a persian uh that was a persian like dagger sword there yeah it's got the uh pummel with an elephant on the head uh zach pull it up but open the picture that's down there with the blade out and you can see kind of the serrated decorative blade plus the elephant pommel. If you can pull that. Look how the trunk is part of the handguard.

Yes, this one. The trunk is part of the handguard. Something like this in the Persian style is so fucking sick. I hate that it's serrated. It's probably more decorative than a function sword, but I like that.

That's pretty cool. Get that thing away from me. It's like a Ginsu knife i i like that that's pretty cool that thing away from me it's like a ginsu knife yeah i like that's sweet and it's only two thousand dollars oh i like that dude what do you let's all be dude let's we you know obviously we don't have it in us to be red pill cool guys. But we can be the complete opposite. Sword read cards. You get swords and don't even fully understand the history. Don't care about any of it. It looks like it's an Italian or something.

Does anyone have any idea what the sword is or what it means? Let me hold up the language again. It's hard for me to read. I can't imagine you do a lot better. Oh, yeah, that is uh it's upside down yeah i'm sorry for that uh calada del cia ah calada del cid and tolededo. Toledo. El Cid. Wasn't he like a Spanish? He was a fork gazer of the 1500s.

The dumbest blade in the West. It's pointy, though. Like this part actually is. It's pokier than you might guess. He is so confident in his abilities, he does not even begin to take care of his equipment. He's Mexican now. It means it's alloy steel.

Without impurities. Oh, okay. That's cool. I wonder what grade. Anywho. $10.50, you know, the one you wish you had. You should lean into... Oh, the reason they quench the swords

in oil, Woody, is because they can change the temperature of oil because oil doesn't have a boiling point, so they can have their oil heated up so that it cools the steel more slowly. It also, like, it also cools steel more slowly than a water quench that would be this really fast uh

quench that could make the steel brittle that's so and it was a little bit what i said choose each do you know no i'm not i definitely don't okay okay that's the next step i think i think it depends on the alloy of the steel and and how much spring you want in it that's the that's the whole thing right what you're right? You're getting that fine line between a sword that's hard but not brittle. Because you don't want the sword, you want the sword to bend.

At the end, they also want it they like take the temper off for while they're working it and then I think you're extra focused on the final product but to someone making it, they also want it malleable during the working. I suppose. Yeah.

I, we, we would always just take, um, the springs from under a car and, uh, and cut out our sword, you know,

with a plasma torch or an acetylene torch, and then go to work with a big heavy grinder. We would make swords like that. Cause that's, that's good steel. That's like, yeah, I know I've never, i haven't done it but i got a little bee in my bonnet about knife making

at one point and people would use leaf springs for that yeah yeah and they're cheap they're like especially back then we go to the junkyard you know they're like basically free yeah i always like going to the junkyard we would go to the junkyard all the time um if we were like working on something we needed like a were working on something and we needed a headlight or something. It's this ocean of cars that have all been in collision. Each one tells a little story. As a kid,

I would just be out there exploring. He would be there to buy some part. What they do is they recover all... They take all the good expensive shit off every car and it's stored inside and cataloged. We'd be buying a transmission or something, but I'd be outside just going through cars someone would have blood stains in them um if a car gets hit in the rear if you're sitting steel and you get hit in the rear

it drives you back into your seat because the car is trying to go forward and you can't and so you would see like especially i guess if it was a heavier driver it would bend the seat backwards like in that type. So I always like to expand, you know, there's change in those cars too. That's just up for grabs. I found all sorts. I found a gun in one,

one time there was a pistol laying in the car. I, as a kid, I just reported it. Obviously I was like, there's a gun in that car and somebody did something about it, but you'd find pepper spray and always, always change.

And like eight year old me is like stealing all the change. Of course. Zach had me hook, line and always change. And eight-year-old me is stealing all the change, of course. Zach had me hook, line, and sinker. He's like, the name of the second sword is El Cid Escalada. It's the sword of a knight from medieval Spain. 100% real. And then there's like a

pause as the trench knife Taylor got on Amazon. Foul thought. This is a magical sword you have. Only the true king can wield it. But it is a Spanish sword. Alright, so that's going to be my thing. I'm the Spanish guy.

Okay. I can't pick the sword. I've chosen my team. I feel like you start collecting swords. You join a very weird group of people. You can only be so sexy, right? You get want a collection. I feel like you start collecting swords. You join a very weird group of people. You can only be so sexy, right? You get a sword collection,

you start bragging about your 40,000 achievement points on Xbox, and before long, save some pussy for the rest of us. Exactly. I'm a completionist. You don't even understand. Nobody cares. I don't want a collection of fucking edged weapons. I do just kind of like want a nice sword. I don't want a collection of fucking edged weapons i do just kind of like

want a nice i have a collection i don't think of them as weapons your knives are a little different they're almost like jewelry or like little mechanisms i know i know that's what you appreciate i always am interested in the interesting uh mechanisms the ones that are something different than out the front or fold open or i call it the action open anything that like has a mechanism that's over designed i have one that opens sideways out of the handle which i think is really neat and it takes a little bit of practice to do it with one hand but i can do it i want that shark killing knife like that to me is the king of knives like if you're a knife guy one yeah it's a i can't i don't know what they call it but that that that knife um when it's like a

shark knife and if you stab it immediately dumps a co2 cartridge through the tip of the blade and just destroys whatever you've stuck it into like that kind of cavitation is lethal just especially to a fucking fish have you watched on youtube lately i'm curious huh um well i've watched a bunch of movies this week i haven't been watching as much youtube i watched um i watched uh shadow of the vampire last night that's a movie about the making of the old movie nosferatu it's the one with the the dracula's like in the shadows with the long fingernails and but the premise is that willem defoe plays the nosferatu character and uh um this director is so obsessed with realism in his movies that he found a real fucking vampire for his vampire movie and and so none of the cast and crew know they're all just like oh that guy

that is a method and he explains he's a method actor you know he will only fill it not how do you stay so cold address him as count orlo you know and and but there there's one scene where they're halfway through the movie and two two of the cast are sitting there drinking this big bottle of whiskey at night and here comes count orloff over and he's fucking creepy he is a vampire in that full scary makeup and they all think it's makeup because he doesn't spend a lot of time around them outside the scenes and he sits down and

they're asking him because they know he's in character. They're asking for background. He's, I do not remember how it was made. I do not remember how to make more. I am too old. And then a bat flitters by. And he goes.

And they go. That's the finest actor I've ever seen. And it's not a comedy. Because this guy is plotting to murder them all. It's a very high profile. Was it good? I liked it a lot. I liked it so much.

It was really good. It's on Plex. And I also watched Godzilla Minus 1, which is currently only available on Prime in Japan or on our Plex. Shout out Plex. Yeah, Plex got on the waterfront for me. I mentioned I watched it, but thank you for that.

I watched it weeks ago. We just got around to it. I remember. I feel you. He immediately got around to it. there's also a form so we can request him online i'll link it to you later um i know he'd rather just do that but anyway the godzilla minus one i really fucking liked um it's obviously a japanese movie it's like right after world war two it's disgraced kamikaze pilot he was too scared to blow himself up and then he like failed and then he fails again like he's had like he keeps cowardice is a problem he keeps being scared and uh and he gets back to

tokyo and like tokyo has been firebombed so everything's gone like his whole family's gone and uh that's what the human story it's him and his sort of giving himself permission to live because he's so ashamed of his failures. Because he has this ready-made orphan family. All he has to do is say, marry me. And this beautiful woman would marry him. And all he has to do is say, be my child. And this orphan child would be his child. But he doesn't want to give himself sort of permission to live a life again because he's living with all of this shame and then here comes godzilla this opportunity for him to like come through in the pinch and so it's right after world war ii so they've got like battleships and uh and stuff to fight godzilla with but

godzilla has a healing factor so they'll fuck him up and he'll heal like wolverine before their eyes and then he'll hit him with the laser breath and when he hits you with the heat ray an atomic bomb goes off in the distance basically like he causes a nuclear fission reaction and whatever he hits i guess because he he shoots that blue laser shit is it old it's brand new it won oscar for um um effects this year um oh shucks so yeah i've seen stuff about this movie yeah yeah it's brand new um the only reason it's not over here is because lionsgate the united states company makes godzilla movies here and this is the japanese company making the japanese godzilla and so it's completely different godzilla we're back in world war ii with a wholly totally different monster is it all closed

captions yes it is all closed captions um and that's probably the weakest part of it you know my biggest complaint is i felt like sometimes i could had a hard time connecting with the characters because of that for whatever reason i couldn't tell if like the character's meant to be funny or silly or he's just a bad actor like a couple times and not the main character. He was good. There's a moment where he loses it all and he's just and it's raining black rain from the bombs and it's

damn, this is a good movie. This isn't just a monster movie. It was fun. I liked it a lot. Biggest issue with closed captions is sometimes I get the information at the wrong time. It can be late or too early. That can be a thing. I would watch the Godzilla one. That can be a thing. Yeah, poor timing is a problem.

I would watch the Godzilla one. That sounds pretty fun. I watched the Townsend and Sons guy talk about salt pork for like 50 minutes. Making it or preparing it? Talked about making it, talked about the history of it, how it was used as like a currency back in the day, why salt pork was more expensive than salt beef at the time and why if you were like a soldier people like preferred salt pork to salt beef because i guess just the nature of pork like you

can it doesn't get quite as dried out through all the salting process whereas beef is like i guess salted beef that like, it was even tough. It was like thicker, but even tougher than jerky. Like you'd have to like soak it. And so if you were like a revolution, revolutionary war soldier and you were like,

Oh, we just marched for fucking 40 miles. I just want to eat something real quick and go to bed. If you had salt pork, you could just whip it up real quick and eat it. But if you had salt beef, it was like, all right, you need to sit here and soak this for an hour until it won't literally break our teeth. And so it was neat.

The way he was like, there were different grades of it. And so you'd go and you'd buy a barrel of salt pork, which is just pieces of pork in a giant barrel packed with salt. And so you could get really good cuts. And then poor people could get really crappy barrels that were like a bunch of heads and nothing but heads in there. And that different areas had different reputations for how good their salt pork was

to the point that New York passed a law that was like, we do a lot of repacking of salt pork here if it's repacked here you can't claim it's new york salt pork because those fuckers in massachusetts might send us lower quality salt pork and we need to keep our our reputation for new york salt pork being you know the creme de la creme the the pinnacle and so i learned a lot about that do you cook the pork at all do you just take raw pork and put salt on it you put raw pork and then you cover it in salt and you seal it in a a barrel and then that preserves it enough that like after you're done with it you still have to cook it

and and whatnot to to eat it but then also townsend was saying that there were because he'll he goes in on deep dives where he's like, and they didn't have the recipes exactly, but we can read in this journal from Corporal John Stevenson from 1731, where he says after a long march, they were too tired to cook. And so many of the men chose to just eat their salt pork raw. And apparently that worked just fine also, but it wasn't the tastiest thing. And so it was really,

it would kill all the bacteria. Yeah. And the parasites too. It like lasted for like, it could last for months in there. And so usually people were like, like putting all the pork in there and like the end of fall. So that like midwinter, you still had pork that you could pull out and eat.

YouTube's algorithm is amazing. I love like YouTube rabbitinter, you still had pork that you could pull out and eat. YouTube's algorithm is amazing. I love like YouTube rabbit holes that you get into. I've been doing it, going down sailing for a couple months now. And sailing has all kinds of videos. There is like thirst traps on their stand-up paddle boards looking at coral reefs. That's not my cup of tea. I like the suffering. I watched this couple. They were older than me, maybe 60, 65, and obviously seasoned sailors who know exactly

what they're doing. They've been around the world, but this guy got COVID, so he was a little sick and not the best version of himself, but's a hurricane coming and he has what in aviation they call get there itis sometimes people say like i need to get to this airport today and even though the weather's changed or whatever and it's a good decision is now a bad one they're just tunnel visioned and they're going to power through it and make bad calls well he had a safe port he could have gone to but he's sick and he really wanted to get to his ideal destination so they go for it poor fucking guy covid sick as fuck as he's like coming out of it his wife gets covid they're in a hurricane the winds are 70 miles an hour the seas are 30 feet tall and it's not like

a story that you don't believe this is the video i'm watching right yeah yeah waves crashing over this boat the boat's only like 40 feet long like it's not a giant sailboat or anything they're going up and down and they're they're like sort of protected but as the waves splash on this like not waterproof cover she's getting like splashed he's like how you doing and she's like oh between the covid and the seasickness i'm trying to keep my spirits up it's like yeah you are enjoy your hurricane and they did make it through and afterwards um you could tell on these sailboats i enjoyed the social part of it like how they break down duties and get along with each other and stuff like that

imagine living your whole life with someone in basically one room. The social thing becomes interesting. And clearly it was his job to like lead the sailing and the navigation. And she handled a lot of like interior, like homemaker tasks, cooking in the galley and stuff. And she's like, why did you choose to sail in the hurricane?

And he's like, I was sick and tired and not the best version of me. And it was like, fuck yeah. He owned it. And dude, these sailing videos, people going through some real shit on these and they film it. And sometimes they paint an overly rosy picture of just how amazing life is. That's not what I like. I like it when their diesel engine stops working and they have to do what they call boat yoga, which is like hanging upside down with the ridge of something cutting into your ribs while you work on a diesel engine in a moving sea. That is interesting to watch. I'm all about it. Do that dovetails into another part of my YouTube interests,

which I also watched like a 40 minute video on the history of hardtack i've seen that video it's a great video it's a good video yeah it's a good ass video this guy oh yeah shout out townsend and sons how does he make hardtack interesting and what is hardtack it's stale bread help me it's basically like the most simple biscuit you could possibly make it lasts 100 years yeah that's dried and preserved and they would eat it uh called it was called the ship's biscuit and so they'd eat it on these ships for super long periods because if you brought like tasty bread it would get maggots and mold and all sorts of nonsense in there especially with the sea air i guess this is the shit that frodo ate yeah it was well the photo ate lembas bread and you know bite to eat a to fill a grown man's stomach and then pippin is like and then mary's like how many

did you eat pip and pip's like i ate four and he's like five days of food but yeah this he like talked about how they made it how some people would have better recipes than others for this like funny but like it's so hard and stale that you would have to like soak it almost like leave it in water for a while yeah cinnamon some kind of fat probably

lard if it's that era yeah and it was he like makes it come to life because he talks not just about it and like doesn't he'll he'll like make it he'll talk about it and then he'll also like read you passages while dressed up like he's from 1720 like in his little you know shack studio is only 12 minutes long townsend's oh he's he's gone back to the hardtack well many times. So I've watched multiple hardtack. It's episodic. Yeah.

And if you ever watch the... That guy's channel rocks. I love that channel. You know the Steve whatever, the MRE eating channel? He had some hardtack, I think, from the Civil War he ate. I've watched a couple of that guy's videos. I watched the Civil War MRE, I think, where it was packed in. I think that was one where it was so old that it had kind of crumbled and

fall apart, so you couldn't really open it the same way as other ones. Stuff was already rotten. Yeah, people send him MREs from all around the world, so he really does have some interesting and unique, not just just from different countries but there's more than just the basic mre they'll have like their three-day emergency um pilots ration that's in like a fighter jet if they go down though so there's lots of different ration kits from all these different countries and it's fun to see m&ms are just global it's like if you're gonna have some candy in there they're gonna like nobody's gonna reinvent

the m&m so they just buy m&ms peanut butter shit like that every i'll start watching those and i'll tell myself that they're actually tasty and then i i'll order a case of them and eat one and throw the rest away m&ms are amazing the m&ms are good mre suck like oh i'm sorry I'm sorry. I get the whole kit. I've ordered boxes of MREs multiple times and been like, what was I thinking? I have access to real pizza and yet I'm making one in an army man kit.

Man, I smoked a lot of weed. Every so often someone will bring MREs on our motorcycle adventure and you'd think it's good, but it's like, bro, there are better options at REI. This guy's got shitty MREs. I guess their claim to fame is lasting 600 years, and then we're breaking out, I don't know,

blueberry crumb desserts and shit. Yeah, why don't you just bring some ravioli, like some Chef Boyardee or something? Whatever you want. It sounds heavy, but yeah. It's something that always cracks me up. Because this guy, the recipes he makes are from like cookbooks from like 1710 and so he'll be like this recipe comes from mary baker's the art of cookery in 1708 and like they don't do recipes the way we do now which is like you add flour and then you add sugar in these exact amounts.

And then you add this exact amount of water and then you put it in the oven at this exact temperature for this exact duration. And this should be your result. Like he'll read the recipe book and it'll be like, Mary said to add two palms of bay leaves and to cook until well ready. On an open hearth. On an open hearth. On an open hearth until

well ready. Season until blackened. Use only maple wood, of course. In the springtime. Until it's blackened use only maplewood of course in the springtime until it's blackened like that family friend of yours who's not really a friend but you know he works for you in a way have your uncle fetch a cord of firewood for the heart that's what makes me a little uncomfortable every now and then when i'm watching them and the and the and the black fella comes in, the big fat guy. Oh, yeah, but he's just another flavor of this autism.

He loves it. And there's a big fat guy who does it too. He's dressed like a slave, though. No, he's dressed like a chef. Oh. But the chefs were slaves then. Oh. Maybe.

That's who would do the cooking. I saw an option poster for slaves the other day on reddit and it was like from a real slave auction and it's it's how they were listed um and like described as really bizarre because it was like middle-aged sturdy house woman good good cook good and and like like that would be it and then it would go on to like young young strong woman used to house chore and with baby and it's like it was just bizarre comes with a baby the baby oh that is like a a good thing or a terrible thing where they're like now we gotta now i gotta feed a baby i guess i would see it as like okay this person's a wet nurse as well maybe if you needed that like i think that would definitely be a thing that would happen right if like you you didn't want your wife to breastfeed or maybe you'd lost

her you could have like a slave wet nurse maybe i guess that does check out what other what other What other great benefits would slavery bring, Taylor? Oh, countless. No, you know, two thumbs down to slavery. I look at slavery, and you know what I think? Don't do that. I think not for this guy. Yeah, not for me personally. But I'm also a live and let live. And so if that's right for you out there.

LGBTQS. Yes, there, LGBTQ S yeah. LGBTQ slavery. Yeah. And if that's how you want to live, I don't, you know, I can't tell you how I won't stand in your way. Who am I?

I'm not a slave. Yeah. I can't make those sorts of decisions. I can't possibly know what's going on in the mind of only slaves. Shouldn't should. Yeah. And slavery. So I personally will never own a slave because that's just the way I was raised raised i don't want any part of it but if that's what you're into

i say i say go hog wild with it in that uh that mockumentary that i've looked at we i think it's free use like it would be if it's free use we should like live stream ourselves watching CSA, Confederate States of America, the alternate universe where the South wins. It's the one that has the fake commercials built in for things like slave collars and pills

that make your slave more docile. Stuff like that. Like heroin. No, because it's in modern times. They go through the whole confederate states of america's history the south conquers the they win the whole thing now it's all csa and then they say you know what we want south america too and they take like most of mexico and

down into south america we become this and then the annex canada so they create a real empire so they plant the confederate flag on the the moon. They go through time showing you all these Confederate accomplishments. It's the Confederate flag at Iwo Jima being raised. On the moon, like I said, all those big moments. It's this mockumentary. It's weird the perspective you get because technically the way it's presented is watch this documentary.

It's a documentary within a mockumentary. I hope that's not lost on you but that's the one of the funnier parts because you get the fake commercials but you also get like a modern timeline of people living with slavery and it's sort of coming apart at the seams it's ridiculous it would have to be ridiculous slavery wouldn't make any sense once you've industrialized like it's just a wildly inefficient way to get shit done well i think that like in some of those arab places like like the cleaning lady in your building is like an indentured and i know they did that thing when they were building the arena for the world cup where i'm gonna get the nationalities wrong but it seemed like they allowed all these

foreign workers to come in but then they decided that their papers weren't good enough to go home anymore. And so you're just stuck. It's like, where are you going to go? I remember hearing about this. So they essentially entrapped, enslaved all of those. Which country? Qatar, right?

Oh, this is current. When they were building the the thing for the world cup that's the way i remember this is like yeah seven eight years ago when when these stories were coming i heard they took their paperwork so they couldn't quit the job i might be wrong yeah that's what i heard by some means yeah they made it so they couldn't leave you know once they had already came there's lots of good parts about guitar too that the media won't tell us. Let's look up. I just saw Jackie. She said my sword hold your hats is worth

between 70 and 90 dollars. Making it the most valuable sword on the show. Oh, by an infinite measure. Well, by 70 to 90 dollars. Percentage-wise,

you have a sword worth billions the time of Mark of Mineswords. Every sword, you should name your sword. I feel like that was a big part of Game of Thrones. Yes. We'll name it. Scales.

What country makes those... Have you ever seen those like arab films where it's like a guy who looks like wings of redemption in a chic outfit and he's like you must never allow a woman to speak to you in public like that like those kinds of lessons have you not seen hollywood i guess what are we talking about? Is it called Memory? Memory TV. Yes, it is. I've seen clips of these guys on Twitter. And it's like an Arab, some sort of news station.

I don't actually know what country it's from. But they will have guys on there will be like now next guest is muhammad bin muhammad to tell us about the evil scourge of jews and then he'll get on there and he'll just be like thank you so much for having me anyway these guys i've had it i've had more than, more than my fill of these Jews. And like, it's like a whole, is it real? I can, it's so wild. I can't tell if it's like a spinal tap thing or if,

or if it's like a real, if it was like, like if there was a military operation to make the people in that corner of the world look as bad as possible yeah it would be this it's it's like the way sasha barricona went after kazakhstan to the point where they had to do like a 30 million dollar ad campaign to prove that they they weren't the awful thing that he was saying they were you know he did a fake thing where he pretended to like blow their president and they had to like tell their people that was not the president that guy in that suit that was because they shot at an angle and they

announced the president was there and then borat got on his knees to apologize and started kissing the president's crotch like that's that's a kazaki apology you kiss their crotch so he's just kissing the front of his pants profusely i mean and then it's aired in kazakhstan and they're like was that really the fucking president did borat just kiss his and they have to have this big campaign like that did not happen like that that was not real president did not get kissed on the crotch by Borat they were so embarrassed

by that because he sort of he made fun of them in ridiculous ways but he really wasn't that far off like one of their not their national drink but a drink they drink there, surely in the rural areas, is fermented goat milk. But he

said it was goat piss. And it's so close that when you hear the truth, you're like, that's still pretty weird. Yeah, fermented milk. It's wild. So then when they defend themselves, we do not drink goat piss. We drink fermented goat milk. Well, that's still weird like you have a hard time

defending yourself way better than the piss but it's way better than the piss it's because it is a you know a drinkable fluid dude that that memory thing I just was saying look at the the Wikipedia link I just posted for that memory TV I'm so glad I thought of this

randomly it stands for Middle East Media Research Institute. Oh, dear. It's an American nonprofit press monitoring and analysis organization that was co-founded by Israeli ex-intelligence officer Yigal Karman and Israeli-American political scientist Mayrav Wormser in 97. Critics describe memory as a strongly pro-Israel advocacy group that in spite of describing itself as being independent and nonpartisan in nature, aims to portray the Arab world and the Muslim world in a negative light

by producing and disseminating incomplete or inaccurate translations of the original versions of the media reports that it republished. Propaganda. This is literally propaganda. You can't trust Israeli ex-intelligence officers. Who can you trust? They don't present themselves that way. They present themselves as Arabs with Arab takes.

And then I'm sure they sucker other Arabs in and then amplify what they mean. And you know how it is. If everyone's laughing, you might like, you know what? Let's hurt them all i'm not just the bad ones but the women and the children and the whole room is like fuck yeah somebody and you're like yeah they love me like i feel like that's what that is because that's literally the only clips i've ever seen of this organization is this shit of like an arab guy sitting there. It's always a one-minute clip

saying things like, women are merely property. They are nothing to us. Go about your day. If they give you lip, you remove the attitude. It's just shit like that. Wow.

This is a literal propaganda organization. You hate to see it. I'm glad we found that out. So you watching on YouTube or like TikTok? I've seen clips of it on Twitter. And there's literally a big fat guy who does look a ton like Wings of Redemption. I bet I can find him.

I bet I can find the big fat memory TV guy. Show me terror wings. I'm going to find it. Zach, pull up Wings of redemption and memory tv arab can't be the first person to make this observation make the link there's no way because it just was on wikipedia in two seconds jesus christ memory tv come on i have to find the fucking wings of redemption arab well see i don't like that because I feel like my prejudices against Arabs are well-founded and have no holes in them. But when you throw something like this at me, it seems like our great friend Israel may have deceived us in this one instance.

In this one instance? I'm sure they didn't mean it in a bad way. They were just trying. Maybe it was a mistake. Just a long, drawn mistake yeah they're going into rafa right now and uh biden's biden's delaying their their weapon shipment oh it's tough stance biden do they go into rafa or they're my understanding was they were rolling tanks into rafa i thought that had been ongoing uh i'm not at all trying to say you're wrong i only heard

the biden take on it which was like if you roll in there full scale whatever that means then the american weapons stop i i get clips of they're like you never know which show you're watching it's an arab tv show but but i can't scale it with like is this the bill maher of of um and it's not here it's it's uh israeli i don't know if this is the bill maher's Israeli. I don't know if this is the Bill Maher of Israel. I don't know if this is like the Jimmy Kimmel of them, or I don't know if this is just some guy who showed up tonight as a guest. But here this lady is,

oh, you don't want to give us the laser-guided bombs? We'll use the non-guided bombs. We'll blow up 10 neighborhoods instead of one. 10 neighborhoods instead of one. 10 schools instead of one. Let's use the dumb bombs. Sure we have plenty of those. I hope that's not the feelings at higher levels.

That doesn't sound good. I heard it and I thought. I guess genocide Joe doesn't like his nickname. So he's like pulling support to some extent. I don't know. Honestly how confident are you in the Joe Biden victory as we sit here today? I feel like it's good to every now

and then take the temperature in the room because there was a moment a few weeks ago where I felt like it was swinging back his way. Polls aside, I felt like there was a little bit of like, man, it's all, there's a lot of Trump negative stuff

and Biden is, someone on his team or him. Maybe it's his direct, but Hey, find me some good things for the news. And when you open the paper, you should hear about something. The president's done for the people today.

That feels, that's what it's felt like the last few months. Like every week there's a new good thing that he's done. I don't know. You know, some free school lunches or getting let out of the pipes. They're doing that. So fuck. Yeah. Let's get that letter to the pipes pipes yeah april 10th to april 20th i just

looked at i pulled it up he was leading in the polls and trump had been leading so long i saw it as this big reversal it was sort of a rebound or i guess you know new state of affairs out of that state of the union which went pretty well for him you know even the republicans were like he took a fucking red bull it's not fair and uh it's like well if that's your comeback then we all admit he did a good job right yep and that seems to have passed now i see trump leading in the polls and um it's close but it's always close it wasn't like biden was leading by a lot and uh i'm sorry i just want to say the republicans don't know how to spin they don't know how to spin like they did exactly what you said they said clearly he's on so

much caffeine why is he so loud boisterous and getting his points across so strongly that's not my kind of president it's like that was literally they are the republicans are so retarded what you should have said is like i think i've seen this before somewhere. And then we throw up that image of Hitler rocking at the fucking Olympics. And then we look into Biden's entire background. Everybody that works the white, we find a doctor. We find any medical doctor in there who could maybe prescribe these.

And then you just, I'm just asking questions. Dr. Phillips here. Why are you working in the newsroom back there? Why are you stamping stamps? You could be at a hospital or at a private practice. This is the main, whoever Hitler's like doctor, I'd use that, this, I'd draw all those comparisons. I'd make Biden a Hitler who's getting amped up

by a secret doctor in the back. Instead, they were just like, he's too energetic. It's intimidating. Like, what are you doing? Dude, the Democrats are so much better at politics. It's wild to watch the republicans they're just floundering retards uh it's funny because i sometimes feel the other way like i'm like i don't i think trump in particular does things every day that would sink anybody else and i'm like is there something about him that's working for him are we this is a video or

i don't know he said this is the kind of shit that like you will see in the subtitles on memory tv your book you wrote that tom and jenny were created by the ancient egyptians well i can believe that well hang on like i every now and then i'll hear something absurd like that and i'll be like show me and it'll be like oh the, the Egyptians do have this cartoon here of a cat that chases a mouse and gets dumbfounded twice. That's Tom and Jerry. Okay. To answer Kyle's question in seconds, win the House, toss up on the President, lose the Senate. That's my guess.

I've given no thought to Congress. I just feel like if Trump loses, then he is in a lot more legal trouble. If he wins, then his legal trouble is over. That's the way I see that because he'll be part – whoever his VP is can pardon him if need be. But he can just pardon himself probably of what he's done like like the attorney general is going to be busy attacking the biden's as well like he's going to direct his attorney general to weaponize the uh the judicial system and go after anybody on the biden side because you know he hates what's happening right now whatever he says this is not the guy who's been up at the crack of dawn working all day.

This is one of those guys who takes a nap in the middle of the day. They've got him at those fucking early morning court appearances that he can't nope out of. He doesn't get to sleep in one day. He's in public, falling asleep, farting himself awake. I don't believe any of that. Yeah, that's

I mean, it's funny. Why would they make it up? Why would they make it up other than all the other nonsense they've made up? I heard Biden pooped himself. Trump said he pooped himself a few weeks ago, and now they're coming back at him with their same thing. I mean, I can't tell you, but it was widely reported that this happened. Of course it was. Do you believe the falling asleep part?

The media hates it. I believe the closing his eyes and sitting there part. And I don't know if he fell asleep or not. And I also don't know if I care if he fell asleep or not, because it's not like they're asking questions. I heard someone explain it. And this person, I think, was attempting to be unbiased. And they're like, in fairness, this courtroom is not like modern HVAC.

And it is always either freezing cold in there or too warm. And it can put you to sleep. It made sense. I don't know. I just, I think it's wild that we have a national news apparatus. That's like this guy who's being clearly targeted by his political opponents in an election season has stinky farts more after this on the

extent of his stinky farts. Did you see the makeup of NPR? It was like 27 out of 29 Democrats. It's like, how is this national public radio funded federally? Why can't we get more than two like conservatives on NPR? Like, you don't think that shapes their views,

your viewpoints? I think you're right. I watch a lot of NPR. I would, I would actually bet the house. I watch more NPR than you guys combined. You do? Yep. Anything more than zero. Probably 15

minutes a day on average. 20 minutes a day. They do a pretty good job. There's one guy on there who's clearly progressive and there's another guy on there who's supposed to be conservative but I find him kind of unbiased. He's not in the bag for anybody. Is a version of a conservative yeah so like a toothless

like no he's really smart and he's senior he's like been on the show longer than the progressive guy and he's like the the authoritative voice the progressive guy is the new guy and i think if you watched it i think you can watch it and exit it as better informed and that's one of my big things i watch brian tyler cohen i don't know if you know him but he's a youtuber and he talks about politics every day and he is so in the bag for liberals that i don't feel like i'm better informed you watch him long enough and you're like what that trump's goat is cooked is that a? It's the cognitive dissonance. For the thousandth time, it's a lie.

The biggest problem is that neither side will even allow themselves to see through the other side's eyes. I'll see I just keep seeing the left-wing take on a right-wing action and how they're like, look at them.

They want to enslave women no they think you're murdering babies they don't see it as health care they see it as murder watch so much and and and that and that bounce goes in one ear and comes out the other and it's like yeah they want to enslave us enslave us they want to know what our pussies are doing i want to know less about what your pussy does frankly okay i want to knowlave us. They want to know what our pussies are doing. I want to know less about what your pussy does, frankly. I want to know as little as possible about what it's doing when I'm not around.

What I don't like, and it happens on both sides, is people who listens to news that tells them what they want to hear and then it just reinforces and echo chambers their information diet. If you do that, then you're not getting informed on the topics. I aspire to be better than that. echo chambers their you know information diet and if you do that then you're not getting informed on the topics yeah i aspire to be better than that sometimes i hate it yeah i don't you know

that no one is saying i don't think women have enough agency to decide about abortions they're saying the abortions themselves are evil and that they don't want the child dead. That's their take. And they just refuse to let that even process. Most of the time they just, they're like, no, no, no.

That's not how I like that argument framed. I have my own framing for that argument. And the other side won't look at their framing. The other side can never imagine that. All right. What if the brain doesn't get formed until the last day? Then how do I feel? What if there's no brain until the last day? Then how do I feel? What if there's no brain until the last day? Then how do I feel? Oh, I'd be on your side.

The extreme stance that some, but not all Republicans are taking has had some bad consequences, right? Moms with unviable babies who are dying or losing their ability to have the next baby because of that stance, that's a bad thing. In vitro fertilization in Alabama getting outlawed. Okay. I have mixed feelings about that. Okay. If you're an avid... Maybe I need to learn something. Okay. I don't know anything about it. So when do you think life... When do you think it's a life that shouldn't be aborted, I guess?

When it has any chance of surviving outside the mom uh definitely but that means that technology as technology advances your date will get earlier and earlier it does yeah that's my stance i think it's i think it's easier just to go conception okay well i disagree it would be i just like you know investigating woody's thought here because i don't disagree with it necessarily i like it lot. But the thing about that is as technology advances, if we, for example, create artificial wombs, if there's a big jelly bag that we can put, then in that case, all of the IVF embryos that are fertilized, each of those is murder. So it's abortion on a massive scale.

If you don't know how IVF works, they create lots of embryos. They take lots of eggs and they fertilize them all. And they create many embryos, maybe six or eight or something or more so that they can pick the best one, the most viable one. If you remember that scene in Gattaca, he goes, three boys, three girls. And you see the tiny little pea-sized things. He's like you pick the one you want and it's it's just like that so as technology advances you would quickly run into a problem with yours but when they do the IVF they've got you know how every time they do it as well it doesn't work every time they're making these batches of embryos over and over and over it's abortion on a massive

scale but the whole point is that this couple couple who couldn't make life any other way, that their sperm and egg were never going to meet without the IVF science and the hyperovulation that was induced. And then the micro surgery that's fertilizing the egg manually, all of that has to come into place before that even had a possibility. A life is going to occur that wouldn't have occurred without all that bad. And it's really hard to put a morality judgment on something like that. Yeah.

Right. I never thought about it that way. I guess I never really thought about IVF. There's a simple view of right and wrong, which I can respect. I know simple sounds like an insult, but it's not meant to be. It's just uncomplicated. It begins at conception, and that's the end of that. But I'm like, I look at a slightly more complex societal view. Be like, okay, are we sure that having unwanted babies thrust upon unprepared parents is going to make America great? Putting the question out there. It's a valid question.

Now we're going to have poor families, perhaps without fathers, and unwanted children coming into the world with their moms just trying to make a go of it. Some of those kids are going to turn out great, but a lot of them are not. Throughout yeah i throughout my like adult life i've definitely changed my tune on abortion a lot because i used to have like the like belief of convenience really which was just like yeah i'm in favor of it because you know i don't want to deal with my the consequences of my actions i've i've like a couple of them not to be hypocritical. Yeah, I have not. But at this point in my life, it's like, yeah, I'm against it pretty much 100% of the time. And I think it's probably simplest and makes the most sense to just be like conception. That is a living being, and it's going to be ever increasingly more so.

to be ever increasingly more so and so it's not you get into like the nitty-gritty of like oh well what about this the rare brain disorder what if it has microcephaly where it's going to come out like this and it's like okay that's that's definitely disturbing but the 99.999 percent of the time that that isn't happening it's someone killing the baby out of convenience so what's your stance then i think you made up your stats but so we're gonna go okay well then we're gonna go rape woman's uh mother's life and uh severe birth defects do we do uh do we do visual birth um aesthetic birth defects or do we do health birth defects or all of the above yes i think we should apply the standard kyle would apply to his own life you lose half a pinky fucking i'm not giving birth to the penguin here we're not gonna make it on dc universe who we got face over here and the penguin over there wobbling around no thank you i

don't know the best answer for every situation but i know like like abortion is killing a baby like it's it's wrong it's fun though no no i i like the the stances so so what do you what is when it's viable um outside the mother i i kind of like that i think it should be more like six weeks because i think the mother should be able to get some notice that it's it's go time interrupt do you know how short six weeks is though? 42 days, I believe. The problem is it's not. This is why I say that. So the timer starts at the period, right? So the timer doesn't even start at conception. It starts two weeks before conception. And then it's not until two weeks after conception that you're even expecting

a period so now you're four weeks into this thing before you're even like huh at four weeks i know that i'm not saying that you have six weeks notice so let me let me say because i think maybe somebody listening doesn't know everything you do and uh so now shit it's four weeks before you're even suspicions are arised and women go a week late all the time. Everyone here knows that. So it's not until five weeks that you're even like, oh, shit, I should get a pregnancy test. And now you've got like seven days to get in the operating room. And oftentimes that's not possible.

Not about your convenience. It's about their schedule. Yeah. I mean, I do think I agree with Bill Clinton on this one. Abortion should be legal and rare. I think that we need more people.

I don't understand why adoption isn't an option. Every time I hear about the receiving end of adoption, they're like, can't get one. Can't get a normal baby. All I can get is Penguin or Two-Face over there. Unless I want a normal baby. All I can get is Penguin or Two-Face over there. Unless I want a Chinese baby. Jesus Christ.

No. No. I'm getting embarrassed. I'm getting called Moldy Monty with cheeky eyes. No, thank you. Yeah. I want the compliment, right? And you want a rare baby.

You know, in the Chinese, there's too many of them. Get a Samoan. So, I don't know. I still like the six weeks thing and i'll tell you this if i was a sexually active woman um who who was taking loads i would keep a real tight fucking scoped out look on my uterus and and i would be making sure that like i wasn't pregnant and i i don't know again i i try to know as little about vaginas as possible um you know outside the core that's just safer yeah yeah yeah the the core stuff but um it would seem to me that they're you know are you telling me that that the pregnancy test would not be

effective until after she's missed a period i i feel like zach is going to know this. When does, so here's my problem. Since I've given a shit about pregnancy tests, they've gotten better. So I'm, yeah, I would also want to know how much they cost because I'm like, if they cost what condoms cost,

then I would have one. I would just pee on one every day. I really would. If I was like that sexually active and 20 pack. Yeah. If you're like, I would, I would be peeing on one every day i'd want to know zexus dollars and they can tell you five days before

your missed period so this uh google says the day of your missed period the first day of your missed period and so maybe they're not all the same but there's somewhere about four weeks into the pregnancy as they phrase it um yeah i'm not trying to create commercial i just don't think it's a thing with six weeks is a little close you know it's oh i love the loopholes because that's the health of the mother that's the rape baby oh that's uh sure that's the um those are unviable fetus yeah but then like you run into the like the crux of the debate which is like you have people saying this is killing a baby and then you have people saying yes but look at this teeny tiny percentage of

abortions what about these and it's like well we should probably argue on the 99 point whatever you know what the racial demographics are on abortion uh i would imagine like more black yeah it's way more black um and so i want to talk about most people are using it more as like a fail safe birth control than they are oh the you know it's going to have a wild disease or something like that and so then you kind of you have people talking past each other flippers flippers i'm trying to figure because i know you're making you're guessing at your stats yeah i'd love to know the actual ones and god damn it cdc i want it as a percentage don't tell me like 622 000 tell me but but i i just don't know that I like the argument that only women should make decisions about this because

That again is ignoring the entire viewpoint of half of the rest of humanity In that you're killing a person and that's the part they care about no one I Don't care about policing women's pussies. Yeah, I don't care what you do with your pussy i'm again free i don't think freedom should extend until they encroach upon yours you know what i mean and there's some things that don't quite fit that mold i don't know how i feel about homeowners associations you hate them until somebody next to you has like a fucking burnt out car with that's collecting hornet nests it's almost a necessary necessary evil if you're living next to a real piece of shit.

Hopefully you don't live next to it. That's a well phrased, yeah. HOAs are opt-in. I love them. I love them for you. I don't want them for me. But if you want a neighborhood where all the houses match and all the yards are manicured and that's important to you, then you

can opt-in and it's terrific. What I hate is when you want everyone else to have it but don't do your own part. 360,000 black babies are aborted every year. What? 360,000 black babies are aborted every year. That is so many more than I would have guessed. Yeah, that's a lot of... That's a lot of dead kids.

That looks like it's half of them. Half of all abortions? I just have 14% of the population commits half of the abortions, Woody. That can't be true! On my screen it says 622,000 total.

That's 2021. Holy shit. It's the same number000 total. That's 2021. Holy shit. It's the same number, Taylor. It's the same number. I want to know what other numbers. This is like that Fibonacci golden ratio. I don't know what the same number is. Because he said it's the same.

Oh, it's a crime. All right. Yeah, because 14% of the population commits 50% of the violent crime. It's over 50. I thought it was 50. Well, using that argument, you want as many abortions. I think it's higher more recently, though. We can't be doing that.

Imagine without abortion. Now, Taylor, imagine without abortion where we'd be. We'd have a lot more people. A lot more people that weren't killed. So I would be happier. A lot more violent crime. That's what Freakonomics says. I mentioned this in one of the other shows.

I don't know if it's PKN or A. But he looked at that massive decline in crime rates that happened where some were starting in the 80s or so. Is that where it peaked? decline in crime rates that happen where somewhere starting in the 80s or so is that where it peaked and said legalized abortion not bringing in these unwanted babies into unprepared families is the

actual reason that the crime rate dropped. Is it true? I don't know. It's in a book. I have no idea. It was out of the paint chips. The paint chips? It was out of that pesky lead paint making them them riled up retarded they're a level to the debate

game he like 1v3 us with paint chips and I still think you want I think we were more just being polite like oh it's an interesting take yeah I mean they're talking about cognitive dissonance like it can't be that no matter what

but it can't be that no matter matter what. It can't be that, no matter what? That doesn't seem like a fair debate. No, it can't be that, Kyle. It can never be that, ever. If it's that, then my whole ideology is nothing works. Oh, so Taylor, where do you stand on the abortion pill?

The one that makes the egg not... It's a fertilized egg, but it doesn't adhere to the uterine wall is that the same yeah right plan b is that that's what i should have called it because everyone knows that it's a fertilized egg that never gets to the uterine wall i guess i would see that as lower priority than like the overall abortion debate like maybe i don't know what are the numbers because i'm definitely a hypocrite with plan B stuff. Cause I've like in my younger years, unthinkingly, you know,

plan a very quickly. Yeah. It became, well, no, cause I always knew the meme of people telling me like, you know, that's not like fucking birth control. Like that'll really fuck a woman up. And so like, I always had that in my head. So it was never something i used like with girls

commonly but like looking back on it now like you're slipping the drink yeah i just i wouldn't i wouldn't i wouldn't buy one don't co-sign that so taylor according to pew research accurate or not i don't know 53 of abortions are plan b 53 are plan b well then i gotta be consistent yeah then i i mean that's by that same standard of conception, then that would be an abortion. So I don't like that. Yeah, you don't have to be consistent. Like I respect the consistency and I have my own hypocrisies, but I'm like, man, you can say these are hard problems and often perfect solutions don't exist. So this is where I land on like nothing's

good here that's true but like i do believe it's a life right away like that's like bill burr does that funny bit where the people he's like you know these feminists come out and they'll say like it's just a clump of cells and he's like yeah if i came into your kitchen and you had just put a cake in the oven and i opened your oven and I take it and I throw it all over your kitchen and you go, you destroyed my cake. I can't go. That wasn't even a cake. If I would have left it alone, it would have been a cake. Like, there's no debate on that.

I ruined a cake. I destroyed the cake. You should have called it a clump of flowers. I don't know. Just a clump of ingredients. Meaningless. Just batter. Yeah.

So to be consistent there. And not just consistent. So no plan B. What about exceptions? Health of the mom. Health of the mom gets seedier because you want to like, you need to help. She's having a mental health issues because she's pregnant.

See, that's like the thing with the health is like, it's when they say health of the mother, a lot of the time. And I learned this cause I didn't know, like they'll mean like that also includes like financial health. And so they'll be like, Oh,

this is threatening financially. I've never heard that before. Or this is threatening mentally to me. And it's not necessarily like this is going to kill or cause serious physical issues for the mother. It comes down to whether or not

you trust doctors. And some doctors absolutely are not going to behave the way that, I'll just say, I know how medical marijuana works, so I don't trust you. Right? I thought of medical marijuana.

The other one was President Trump and his fake bone spurs. He can't even tell you what foot they're in. It hurts so bad, he can't localize it. What are you, throbbing pain? Hold lower body. If he could have gotten his hands on those Viet Cong, he'd have throttled them with those big, powerful Trump hands. We'd have won the war if Trump went. With his leadership, perhaps.

I don't know. He was a professional level baseball player, Taylor. He's an athlete. A warrior. He probably would have played if he was a professional level. Usually people aren't... You don't have the Yankees beating your door down being like please i am sorry i think that's not bad that's a lot of hits

not at all whatever doesn't matter you pitch it to him once he hits it 128 times i'm pretty sure that's good i'm just as bad though that's the problem like i wish there was a third option that didn't have brain worms it came out for those who don't know for those who don't know robert f fucking kennedy i'll hope that's not a real tweet but it appears to be they he he said that he found out that a brain had gotten into his worm eat a brain a worm a brain had gotten into his worm. Eat a brain. A worm had gotten into his fucking brain, eaten some of his brain tissue and then died in his skull.

And they just found out. And here's this tweet that says, I offered to eat five more brain worms and still beat President Trump and President Biden in a debate. Have you ever seen the meme of the parasite coming out of the guy's ass and typing the comment on the computer? This is a brain worm coming out of his ear and typing this while he's laying there.

I'll eat five more brain worms. I need company. I'm lonely. They didn't just find out about the worm. It happened in 2010 and I think it just came to light because someone found it in a book he wrote let me see if i have that part right i feel confident with the result even with a six worm handicap that's a sick line i'll give him that um and you know i saw fox news making fun

of him and his brain worm and i'm like this this is a good strategy right like if you're in the bag for trump then you blast him to your audience. And then the liberals would want to do the same thing. I wonder if the steroids made the worms like bigger and more hungry. Because that dude is jacked. Have you seen him without a shirt, Taylor? Yeah, I remember. But like when he was just coming onto the scene, like he was lifting weights.

And it wasn't like crazy amount of weight, but for his age, it's like... Can you show us JackedRFK? Yeah, he's legit Jacked. Yeah, he's fit. Good for him. He's, well, he's elite for his age. Yeah, yeah. For sure. What is he, 70?

I don't know when this picture was taken. That looks really good. Look at it. i mean the the shirt was look at the hat it's recently during his campaign oh let me 2024 uncle let me see is that colby who is that yeah jesus christ he looks good he's seven he's 70 years old yeah dude's yeah dude's pretty yoked he's got the t levels of an 18-year-old somehow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at those traps. He's got a worm stealing all the bad bits of his diet. Look at those traps.

He looks like a man with a nipple fetish or a lot of androgens. Dude, I'd be ripped if I had a worm eating my fat. Working out in jeans? Well, it was eating his brain matter, though, Woody. Well, I forget things. You know, the brain does burn a lot of calories if anything this would be this would make him fatter what it makes his accomplishments all the more uh impressive i'm sold yeah your brain burns a lot of calories every day he's like a big gun grabber so i don't

like that oh i don't like that either i don't like that i heard heard Schwarzenegger talk about him, and I wish I could repeat it as eloquently as he did. Wait, what? Did I say Schwarzenegger wrong? Almost. The wax was beginning to drip off your wings. Schwarzenegger. I don't know. That's how I've always said it.

Pass. I've heard Arnoldnold talk about uh jfk and some of his like more out there conspiracy theories and he's like look i will never give this guy a hard time about these conspiracy theories somebody killed his uncle and somebody killed his dad and you know the cia and this and that and i can't lay it out as well as he did. But it's like, given his lived experience, you'd be on alert for fucking monsters in your closet, too. And it's like, yeah, that makes sense, actually. So, yeah, that's fair. That's where he's coming from.

We're all a product of our environment. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking fair. You forget that that was his dad. Holy shit damn i hadn't considered that i knew it was his uncle i knew jfk was his uncle but i didn't wait if jfk is dad or his uncle jfk is his uncle his dad is rfk okay that's what i thought and he was murdered while running for president right oh i remember i've seen the video we all have i'm I'm sure. It's terrible. Yeah, so that's where you're coming from. Oh, and then

I don't know if it's shady, but how many people in his family died in plane crashes? A statistically unlikely amount. John Jr., who would have been his cousin, his first cousin died off the

coast of New York in a plane crash, maybe off Martha's Vineyard. Is RFK the one that prostitutes by putting her in the trunk of a car or something? No, they were driving. I don't think she was in the trunk. I think she was in the passenger seat was the story, and they crashed off a bridge into the water, and she died. Now, if you want to see a great movie that's kind of taken a poke at that,

it's Brian De Palma's Blowout with John Travolta. It's very good. I saw Quentin Tarantino speaking on a podcast recently and he said it was one of his favorite movies of all time. It's also on, I think it's on Plex. Two words, Blowout. 1971, John Travolta. So he's young, sexy,

slick John Travolta. He's basically like a sound engineer and he's out in the wilderness collecting audio that he sells to movie companies and a conspiracy goes down where a car is forced off a bridge and a politician is taken out of a presidential race and he has the audio to go with like street video and so he's got the real story and he can't get the police to bite and then john lithgow the fucking um third rock from the sun guy big tall he's the fuck the guy the cia or whoever they are since he's got a good bit he's terrifying because he's like six four six five and he's like deadpan evil fucking so

methodical and and his plan is he's got to kill this woman and so to make it not appear that it's a conspiracy when she disappears the woman who was in the car i think or somebody else yeah i think it's the woman who was in the car with the politician that was killed he needs to kill her but don't make it look like it's part of some big conspiracy oh the politicians killed in this story yeah and so he starts going and committing sex murders on women, all in the New York area or wherever they are. He's killing like four or five women just so that he can kill this one woman and have it look like it's part of that.

And John Travolta is kind of mixed up in this conspiracy and they're, they're going back and forth. Um, and what I, that's, I pretty sure it's taking a poke at the Kennedy thing with the bridge. His girl drowned, right?

If I have the story right, and I'm not that confident, he was having an affair. This woman was in the front seat. He was drinking and driving. They crashed into a lake somehow. Chippa Quick or something close to that. He saved himself while leaving her to drown in the car.

He claimed he did everything he could to save her life. I think the evidence doesn't support that. And that's where the story wraps. Yeah, that's the guy who's still a politician, right? It's Ted Kennedy. He's dead. Oh, did he die recently? Like the last couple years? In office?

Not as recent as you're suggesting. 15 years, maybe? Really? I feel like I... I'm looking it up. Time flies when you're having fun. 2009. 15 years on the nose. A lot of people died recently. Theoden died. King Theoden. R.I.P.

R.I.P. Still on politics. Jesus. Captain of the Titanic. Captain of the Titanic. I didn't realize he was still alive. To me, that was like lifetimes ago. 20 years. 20 years ago.

24 years ago. No, that's 2017 years ago. But I'm the we're talking about the movie Titanic, which was 1999, I believe. The captain of the Titanic means something different to me. I'm like, he just died? I thought that was so long ago. Bro, the real captain went down with the ship.

He was a boss. Yeah. That makes sense. No, it was the real captain. He died at, what is it, 138? Really? He was Japanese. That's what it explains.

138 doesn't even do it. He had to be like 148. He had to be even older. He was an old man then. He was like 60. He was King Theoden. Yeah, for sure. He was crucial to that movie.

He was a big part of it. If you had a weaker role there, it wouldn't have played. And you need him to die in that story too. Consolidate power. Yeah, for sure. He gave that speech that was one of the highlights of the entire series.

Right? Yeah, he gave... I got all these blank stares i'm like wait no i was trying to know what one you were referring to because he has the one in everybody's swords yeah the one of the battle of palinore field where he does that's not my favorite the best one is like before they ride out before they ride out is also very good the oh you're talking about helms deep now yes i'm agreeing with you uh, where he's having his armor put on by, uh,

Hannah Finn or whatever that guy's name was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Long haired assistant. And the, it's the,

where's the horse in the rider speech. And he's talking about like, you know, he knows that he's about to ride out to his death and that likely everyone underground, who's like the women and children are going to be killed also. But he's not going to go out like a bitch. Like he's going to go out fighting to the last man. It's so good.

So good. And they and they and they like the music is building. And then like they don't show them get the horses ready. Saddle up. They don't talk about anything. It's just boom. They're on the fucking horses open the doors and then gimbley hits the yeah and they ride through the fucking uruk-hai like i love the horn family really they really seem to be handling things well that absolutely what's more the horn of home you know what i've come to realize my wife knows harry

potter like taylor knows um lord of the rings yeah and we just recently watched some of the harry potter movies together and she did a great job it was kyle like level of like extra information she's dropping in like i think r's family, the Weasleys, underwent great risk to support Ron as he helped Harry Potter destroy the Ogallis fetch quests. She's given me the background on what the danger is here and who this is and whatever. Not ruining the movie, but just adding to it

with things that maybe weren't so obvious from watching the movies alone uh i know the horror crux but i like to insult it with the fetch quest because that's what it was i've read the book series three times and i've watched the movies all the way through a couple times i cried when uh dobby died um he's powerful too i i you told me dobby wasn't that powerful. Their magic is like, it's almost like Gandalf's magic where it's not really offensive magic. It's sort of like support magic

and in that way it's so limited. Whereas a wizard has a spell that's like head come off if. It's like, let's just use the head come off of spell every time. Why are we learning anything else? But also he seemed to have like he was able to teleport everybody out when the wizards were powerless and yeah his his teleportation thing is like his main fucking like thing to me um being

able to go into those places that are uh magically protected from all the more traditional means of uh moving about like port keys and stuff he may use a port key for part of that i think that's just dobbing magic though i really like the harry potter shit um i when i first that was probably the first book series little me i but we've got it at a book at a yard sale or something like like pick the first one up and i started reading it in the car home and i didn't stop reading until it was done and then i was like i got it and i and even when the last book came, I was at the fucking midnight release at a Walmart to get that shit. And I was a man grown.

I really like those fucking books. I love the Harry Potter character. I like J.K. Rowling's writing. My fucking hoity-toity lady friend who went to a ivy league school it's like it's a bit uh juvenile um and i'm it's a fucking kid's book you cunt all right i'm connecting with the narrative and it's not that dude that invites a noogie immediately which ivy league did she go to i have to know i'd rather not say out. Can you type it? She's so she's against

But she also went to She went to two different ones. Oh, her undergrad's a different one? She went and did like two years overseas at, what's the fancy one in England? Oxford. Oh. She sounds like

a Harry Potter reader apparently. Wow. And that's where the Harry Potter lady is from. My wife has an English degree from a state school and she thinks Harry Potter is just fine. I'm with you Jackie. Alright. I think it's the fucking bees knees. Alright.

I love Harry Potter's character. i love how selfless he is how brave he is i love that without the teamwork of his buddies he couldn't have ever made it all the way through i like that he's not the best or the brightest he's none of those things i thought he was i think i misunderstood that he ruined the style of glasses i wore at that age and i got bullied he had he he has all of his points are in like loyalty room stick and um um agility yeah so the flying thing is his is one of his like superpowers he can fly that broom like just naturally good at that and he's good at defense against the dark arts magic they tell us that's his best subject it's like mixed in with history of the dark arts and all the other uh nonsense made up things but potions and such he's he's awful at potions he's failing potions until he cheats and you know but defense against the dark

arts fighting that's what he's good at what he wants to do is he wants to be law enforcement he wants to be an auror which is like uh the uh wizard fbi basically that's his goal in life to do that he decides that maybe a second year when he finds out what they are and what they do and then he realizes his life is going to be about fighting evil whether he likes it or not he figures he might as well get into the profession that fights evil and he meets mad eye moody this like retired or who's got just scars all over. He's been blown apart by evil wizards. He doesn't he's missing an eye.

So he's got a magic eye that spins 360 degrees through his body. So he's got he's just got like radar around him all the time. And that becomes his mentor. And then suddenly he realizes he's been betrayed. That wasn't his mentor. That was a guy using polyjuice potion. The real Mad-Eye Moody's been fucking tied up in a trunk the whole fucking year, living on God knows what, and he just got warped into a graveyard

where they're gonna cut him open and do blood magic to bring back fucking Satan. And then he's gonna have to fight to the death again before he can go back, and then his best buddy Cedric gets fucking murdered in front of his eyes. And he shows back up, and it's just him and a dead boy. And everybody's like, what the fuck happened? And they have to either choose to believe that the dark lord has

returned which no one wants to believe it'd be like telling you hitler's back you'd be like bullshit i choose not to believe that it would be too evil to happen it was even older than the titanic captain and and they're like what'd you do to this boy why cedric diggory this this bright young boy who was the most handsome he was the guy whose stats are maxed out. He was the guy who's the big, strong, badass, genius, well-read, lovable guy. He's dead in front of this fucking Potter boy's feet. Death is following him around every year. Then all of a sudden, in the public eye, Harry's this pariah for a while.

I love the Harry Potter books. It's really good. I liked it too. I didn't really give it a chance i think i uh what actually happened is it came out at a time in my life when i was really busy doing work in school at the same time so i turned my nose up at it it was a fox and the grapes thing you know like that if you don't know the story grapes are too high fox keeps jumping says ah those grapes are probably sour anyway i didn't have time to enjoy harry potter so i acted like i didn't want to yeah it's uh it's it's good shit uh i i really enjoy that

story i i look forward to them remaking it and doing the the tv show i hope that's good i hope they because it's such a long dense story and you know and and like fleshing it out over all those years it's such huge production they did all those different directors, all those different, um, ideas about what that universe should look like. That's why the books are so much better. It's you don't have, you don't have four or five, Chris Columbus, I think did the first one. Uh, and then like, um, who's the creepy Johnny Depp director, um, Tim Burton did like one or two of them and then it was inconsistent the feel of the movies

toward the end they definitely captured that darkness the last two or three movies are adult oriented and it's clear everybody's getting laid I just watched if people don't know the seventh movie is actually two movies it's's seven, part one

and two. The actors are all adults and I like that. Sometimes when kids act, they're just genuinely playing, having a good time, laughing. You're not even acting and this level of acting is lame.

I like that J.K. Rowling is a TERF. I like that a lot. What does TERF mean exactly? She's a trans-exclusive radical feminist. That means that she's... Oh, so she's really pro-woman, but not pro-new woman. She's for real women's rights.

That would be her, if I could condense things down. And she's for not having female spaces invaded. And she's like Anthony Cumia. The way Anthony Cumia will throw up anytime a black person hurts another race, she will throw up every time a trans person goes in the wrong bathroom and assaults a child

or commits a crime or does something funky. Like Elon Musk even, I saw him reply to her and he's like, hey, love your activity levels. You know how you're really out here. I haven't doing a lot of stuff here on Twitter. Could you, could you maybe something different though? Different subject other than just trans people invading bathrooms.

I mean, I'm on your side here, but Jesus, nothing but that. Like maybe a new book, new Harry Potter book. Tell us a new book. I bet that chapter of her life is long gone.

No, she's had a couple of books come out. I think, um, uh, both in universe and out. I think the, um,

the one thing that she came out that she should have never fucking said was she was like, you know, I think Harry and Hermione should have gotten together. I think I made a mistake. And it's like, fuck you. You can't admit that now. I'm supposed to think that I always think that, mistake and it's like fuck you you can't admit that now I'm supposed to think

that I always think that but then I'm like the writer knows best she's in their heads apparently Jenny was pretty dope too though right wasn't she like no no she's fucking dope in what way like what's almost Hermione level I remember she was pretty

milquetoast in the movies and I did watch the movies she's fucking plainane your brother's sister she's convenient that's what she fucking is your brother's convenient he breaks up and she's sitting there like hey i've wanted to fuck you since i was prepubescent can i slide into this little little home now that cho chang most racist name ever for a chinese cho chang Chang and Perry have this relationship. It breaks off and then Jenny's right there in the fucking wings to be convenient. Convenient ginger girl who's my brother's sister. Like, get the fuck out of here.

He's the most famous. Harry Potter is rich, famous, and handsome. And like a celebrity. He is like the equivalent of a footballer who stopped 9-11. That's who Harry Potter is. Imagine like, who's that super famous footballer? Travis Kelsey. Oh, soccer?

There's two. Ronaldo and Messi. Messi and Ronaldo are the only two. Imagine if Messi stopped 9-11. He kicked the guy in the head. He kicked the ball in the head and he stopped 9-11. That's who Harry Potter is. You know, money where his mouth was.

Exactly that. That's how famous and rich Harry Potter is. And yet, he's gonna take his buddy's convenient sister instead of Hermione, who is... She gets hot, I think, in the books after her magic

surgery, and then in the in the movies clearly like you got she's a higher tier higher tier wizard she's also from a mixed blood family which is neat because harry potter grew up in the in the muggle world so they'd have they'd have this ability to go to the muggle world with the in-laws and like he'd get to have like a real boy life for the first time ever like or you that world from a not abusive standpoint. Whereas Jenny is just, again, convenient. Where he's been and what he's been doing the whole time. He's been living in their house for summers, for years at this point.

It's absurd for him to get with Jenny. And there's nothing special about Jenny. She's also very poor. Her Wikipedia page is like they're total equals and worthy of each other they go through a big emotional journey they really like genie as a character oh this is written by a fat girl equal by what measure equal in what measure ever no measure but harry potter is the one who defeated the dark lord okay he's he's the baddest richest best looking most famous most courageous motherfucker

in existence and he's a wizard on top of all of that she's that poor girl who lives in a house that looks like it's from a doctor but he's still short he's very short but if he wanted to he could magic himself to six three oh he should he should have done that oh wow they're not yeah everybody there would be so much fucking cosmetic surgery it makes no sense for there to be any ugly characters in harry potter yeah everyone would be tall shit everyone no one touches a weight everyone's ripped yeah there's fat kids too yeah if you're so bad at magic you can't you know mystical away your adipose tissue you get the hell back to the muggle realm. Yeah, it's absurd. They should pop into the muggle realm

and just fix obesity. Use his magic to just enter the capitalist market. Boom, boom, boom. Weight loss, weight loss, weight loss. See, that's the kind of content that she should be writing about. She should write that book. She should write about like a

Mark Zuckerberg type character who's a wizard. And he's been using his, he's like an unregistered dark wizard who took this form and we thought he was dead, but it's really Mark Zuckerberg. And now he's a muggle billionaire. And the problem is we have to fight muggle special forces. muggle special forces and we don't they shot mark they shot professor doogle over here with an ar-15 and he tried to cast a defense spell but unfortunately the bullet was going 2800 feet per second so his head exploded and he's very very dead no polyjuice potion fixing that they were all done like i would want to see that like muggles just rocking their shit with guns that would be a good story and i would of course root for the gun team because i'm not a wizard i want them to kill the wizards and like like fuck like like be torturing them and be like

turn it into gold like like making them like do magic to make money like like fucking bring it back like like make make rabbits out of nothing or whatever like whatever like stupid scheme the villain would come up get in we're robbing the goblin bank dude jenny's fucking bad i'm reading about her now like harry was the ocean's 11 yeah harry was the seeker she gets his job on the quidditch team after he goes and she's better at it than he is she's stronger better and smarter um she's in the room of requirements i guess safe during some battle and uh rather than her hide in there they open the door to release him she goes out and assembles dumbledorf's army and leads it uh she

joins the battle ready to fight she sees harry's corpse but it doesn't matter because she's there's a battle to fight she sees fred die but she's gotta go god damn it there's no time to war there's no time to mourn there's a war to win she's pretty badass you're cursing on wikipedia uh i'm on to react oh man he's on he's on jennylovers.com i just there is a fat woman behind the article you just read. I would bet every atom of my being. Okay, I'm really curious. She had to hit the lead a lot. She was double-stroking. Look, most of that is pretty accurate,

but in the context that those things are happening, basically they're saying she's doing what everyone else is doing because everyone... They're all like an army or a family working together to defend their school their friends their loved ones their wives their husbands their children everybody's giving it all they've got like even the evil characters some of them turn around and you know start helping all right i found yeah i'm looking forward to when they do the uh the tv show of that

the remake is it a big bitch um i'll let you decide oh but don't don't don't show her zach i didn't pick out the most flattering one i skipped over a couple of those they only showed her this is the author of the of the jenny of the badass jenny fucking weasley well if i can say you could look you can show her picture no her picture. No, don't show her picture. Don't show her picture, yeah. We'll do that. I don't want to comment on this lady's appearance in any way. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, I'm not looking to throw her under the bus or be mean

to her. I just think that she's probably got some flesh in the game, right? She's a pale-faced, red-headed chick. Of course, Jenny's her favorite fucking character. Of course, she wants Harry to get with the character that she identifies with. And I will say the pose in that photo

is not what she looks like when she's actively breathing. Oh, did you see Kim Kardashian at the Met? Did you see the ridiculous corset she was in? She's like a cartoon character. You can see she's panting. can't breathe she's going she's breathing like the black guy in terminator 2 after you don't you don't know yeah damn it but y'all know the scene i'm talking about when he's got the detonator he's like i know yeah that's okay i love this

and they like realize he's holding the detonator over the weight and everything that he's breathing like that. Like Miles Dyson at the end of Terminator 2. Yeah, I see her corset. That looks uncomfortable. It looks fucking hot, though. Look at this. A cartoon character. Why did she get booed at the roast?

I'm glad you brought up... First of all, because she's hated by the entire demographic that goes to a Tom Brady roast. She's despised as what she is. She's a social media influencer, basically, on TV. Oh, that's what she is. I thought she was a money-grubbing whore in a family of prostitutes that pimp their children out for money.

Everyone says she's only famous for that porn thing she did 20 years ago. I'm not denying that the mom organized her to make a pornography video, Taylor, with a rap star and then had it released to the internet so that we could get some more pop. What a horrible mom. I just don't think

Ray J is the level of star that banging him gets you famous for 20, 25 years. I see her as someone who... It's not about who she fucked, it's that she fucked. It's that she's naked getting fucked. Lots of people have fucked, and they haven't achieved Kim Kardashian's level of fame and success. All of us on

the show have fucked, and... No, come on, that's a silly comparison. That's like, if fucking Pokimane released a sex video, do you know the level of exposure it would create? I don't know who this person is.

She's a really big streamer. Big fucking deal. What I'm trying to say is she has done something to keep herself interesting and relevant for 20, 25 years now. I don't know what it is. I've never seen Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but apparently it's had people riveted. Housewives.

Housewives? What? Housewives are riveted. Men? Yes, yes, yes. Housewives are riveted. Men despise these women. That's what I said. I am indifferent to these women. If I was in the room with Khloe Kardashian and she didn't have her filter on, I'm not sure I'd recognize her.

I can't even name any of the others. My point is I'm just kind of impressed with what she's accomplished. Sure, they're billionaires. All of them are. They all pimp themselves into being billionaires. But the reason she got booed is we're also at a roast, which, by the way, I haven't watched yet, but I've seen excerpts of. Taylor, you need to watch this.

They're dropping all the slurs. They didn't bleep any slurs. They dropped all of the good ones. The best ones. The only thing they cut was the booing of... Yes. The only thing

that Netflix edited out of this thing because it was live was when they booed Kardashian. They booed her tremendously when she was trying to get her prepared jokes out to be like you know kevin james you're so short that i bet you get like a good view of my butt or whatever i don't know and you're also in the fat she couldn't get her jokes out at first because they booed for like a solid five six five six seconds or something like wow time to get booed yeah and she

you take the booing that they hate Kim Kardashian because she is a Kim Kardashian I hated figure and be she is taking up a slot here we're at a roast but everybody is so fucking good from the excerpts I've seen that to have her come in and waste anybody's time I

love that did you see Bert and Tom I saw Bert and Tom getting made fun of that was hilarious oh have her come in and waste anybody's time i love that did you see burt and tom i i saw burt and tom getting made fun of that was hilarious oh burt i love your joke burt and tom were awful they bombed hard and i only saw it because reddit was ripping on how much they hated them and uh i'm like all right let me see this for myself. It was just a bunch of untrue observational things. Shirts are supposed to stay on.

Did he take his shirt off? I think he wore his shirt. She was ripping him apart. The lady was really good, the blonde lady. Nikki Glaser? Yes. She was good. I saw her excerpt really good, the blonde lady. Nikki Glaser? Yes. She was good. I saw her excerpt, and I saw one other guy's excerpt,

and I made a mental note to watch it. I'm going to watch it probably later tonight. I thought Kim handled the booing with class, and I sound like some sort of Kim Kardashian simp. I really don't pay attention to her. But she was getting booed, and she just kind of smiled and waited it out. On Reddit, the comments said that they shouldn't have cut it because she handled it well for whatever also like whether

you believe kanye or not he'd be like please take my children out of that school where they are being brainwashed please take my children out of that school i have not seen my children in eight days i do not know where they go to school and it's just like like he'll have tweets like that i'm not gonna tell you who owns the media company putting on this roast i'm not gonna say it kanye is hard to be married to and i thought she handled that pretty well too he went off the rails after that divorce yeah it's hard to say who who's the more crazy though probably him i don't know i i thought she wasn't crazy at all but i don't really watch her show oh i think kanye's i haven't seen as much of bianca naked lately she got assaulted in public somebody like grabbed her or something tried to reach up under one of those

plastic bags he had her dressed in and and i haven't seen as much content i'll say um from her recently there was that one time she was wearing that latex dress. That was super fucking hot. Her pussy's out all the time. Big fan of her. Her subreddit's gone, I think. Bianca, I tried to go there the other day. Not there.

I'll find a replacement site. Don't worry. We'll put our heads together. A lot of women out there. I'm mostly focused on that one. The pride of Italy that she's called. I don't know about that. There's some conspiracy where Miss USA

and Miss Teen USA resigned at the same time. They're under NDAs and they can't talk about what's happened or something like that. There's some big conspiracy about what happened behind the like that. There's some big conspiracy about what happened behind the scenes that they both resigned and didn't want to be part

of the program. My guess? You get all the fame by winning, and then after that, fulfilling the obligations blows. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Maybe even some obligations that they found reprehensible. Maybe they they needed to go like show themselves maybe they wanted miss

them to attend some uh some trans event and be like yeah i miss usa and but you were all miss usa is here to a bunch of people five o'clock shadows yeah a lot of adam's apples in that room yeah i don't know though anyway you guys want to call the show yeah there was a reality show where they tricked these mexican men into going on dates or it was like a dating show you know and but it's a trans woman and but they don't tell them until the end of the show that they've all been vying for the affections of this trans woman and it was a huge mistake they're trying to kill her they're trying like i i think i think that's a bad move you don't want to surprise me with that it was a especially these mexican dudes

you know they seem to have some machismo not not care for the whole thing like like i think your average white dude may be like whoa not cool whoa i'm leaving but these guys now they had a bigger i think i'm gonna find out where you live, hombre. You made a fool of me, bro. On Mexican television, dozens of people saw that woman. Half dozens. Dozens of people.

I guess we can stop now. PKA 699.