Painkiller Already - PKA 724 W/ OpTic Hecz: Halloween Edition

Episode Date: November 2, 2024

bun Pka 724 with our guest optic hex Halloween edition Taylor this episode of pk is brought to you by blue chew our wonderful merchandise and lock and load Hector you're looking very spooky this evening. Thank you boo Dude, I like that you become a Hollywood staple. I appreciate it. Thank you Oh, yes I promised myself that I was not gonna fuck it up this time

and I was gonna get my costume ahead of time and Amazon didn't deliver, so I had to run. Long story, glad we skipped yesterday. I did cancel a bunch of stuff that I wish I should. I'm in the dog house right now with both the wife and the kid, which is worse than anything. Um, yeah. And, oh, and the, the Halloween party for the company was yesterday also. So I missed that.

Um, but really kind of sorry. No, no, you're good, man. I mean, lots of people get married multiple times now. So you probably, you'll catch the next one. Yeah. Yeah. So your Beetlejuice suit there. Yes. Looks like. Yes. I like that a lot.

Are you a hot dog and a hamburger? Is that what it is? Yes. Yeah. No coordination. No coordination at all. Get out. Swear to God.

Literally, we showed up. We showed up to do this yesterday and Taylor goes, what the fuck, Kyle? Because like right next to my hot dog, when I picked the hot dog one, right next to it was a pickle and on the other side was that exact burger from Spirit Halloween that Kyle's wearing. And as soon as I saw Kyle in the burger, I realized like, man, picking the no head part costume was the move. I really fucked up.

It's already hot in here. It's only here for four hours. No worries. No, it's it inside that thing. Yeah, it's just coming in through this wire. It keeps falling out. So I have to keep adjusting my my wiener head. My God.

Yeah, I it was zero coordination. I got a $400 lifelike Johnny Knoxville old man mask. But I couldn't glue it to my lips without it pulling all my mustache hair out. So it doesn't sound right. But it looks really good. Now I can go and now I can be an old man in public. So I'm going to do some of that later. I want to show off my costume.

Zach, can I go full screen? Because I. All right. Check me out. Check me out. Oh, look at his little skirt. I got a heel. Oh, shit. We got a sword. We are. Yes. Keep running around with your sword out. I know you didn't think the old man had that kind of speed. No, I thought you tripped. Yeah. It looked like you were falling forward.

That's how I run. Apparently. Oh no. What is becoming steady? Yeah. Now, if I were going to be pedantic about it, I'd be like arrow wise, that sword, that shield, the look he's going for. I don't know about the historic consistency. Where's your helmet at? I mean, you know what I mean? Like there were a lot of costumes that had proper helmets instead of chain mail, but they don't work with headsets. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, that's

the big one. I also got, um, like an over the ear earbud thing in case I was going to wear my old man mask. Um, I don't know know what I'm gonna do with that. Does your smell kind of weird not the old man mask your hamburger No, no, it doesn't really have a smell if anything it's got a little bit of a like artificial chemical glue Polyester that's the smell I'm getting but I'm getting it's very I'm getting a lot of it. Yeah I'm looking so sommelier over here. Wafting the smells. That's okay. Chinese glue for four hours on my skin, all over my body. That's fine. He's not quality glue.

If your wiener smells, it could be a hygiene thing. That could be. That's true. It could be why you want to get circumcised kids. My Halloweener stinks. Amen to that. Mm hmm. Yeah.

Well, happy Halloween everyone. Uh, what? Turn the lights out. The kids will stay away. Is that to that. Yeah. Well, happy Halloween, everyone. What? Turn the lights out, the kids will stay away. Is that... You turn the lights out? That would be... There's no way you did that, right? I turn the lights out, the kids will stay away. What are you talking about? Oh, you don't have at least a bucket out there.

What am I going to do? Get up every time they ring the bell, leave this show and go hand them the tickets? No, you put a bucket. Like I put a bucket of candy on my front patio so the kids can just grab it and go. If we, if we did the show last night, I would be in the land of Missouri. Cause I'm going to tell you right now, I have a bucket of candy on my porch. It's going to be gone in five minutes flat. My neighbor will come get it. My neighbor is

going to be like, Oh shit. And come get my candy. We have a high candy trust here. Are you guys, are you guys guys full bars or snackables? Every year that I do like something bigger and better. I've found that I always end up eating an enormous amount of it. And so like for a couple of years in a row now I've been like, I'm going to be the house that has like all awesome

candies. And then I end up eating most of it. And so this year, I like tried to go for candy that I still like, but I knew I wouldn't be super tempted. I give out tiny plastic bags of hand cut celery and carrots. They're very sweaty bags. Yeah. I hope someone burns. I hope you're emerging from your house with your melted Chinese burger costume still clinging to you wishing that you'd given those kids a little bit of holiday spirit.

To be fair, the sesame seeds on that on the bun look very real. Look under my look under my cheese here. This is not a rated. You haven't even seen my meat yet. I was gonna say that for later. Hex, are you a full bar or what are you doing? Well, a full bar. Yeah. I used to be. 10 years ago, I used to give out candy so good. It was kind of a flex. Like that was my thing.

Shots to the neighbors, to the parents. Oh my God, you beat me. All right. I respect. Yeah. But now But now I'm long driveway club and nobody's come to my house for eight years. Yeah. I don't even try anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just treat anymore. I don't think I'll be those little cardboard shots. Pour one in there. See you later. That's also say, Oh no, no, no, no. I'll take it for you. I'm sorry. I thought we were having fun. You guys are not having fun. Like drunks. I don't know. It thought we were having fun. I guess we're not having fun.

I don't know if it's trick or treating though. Like I'm looking out the window. I don't see anybody out there. I mean, every year, six, every year you're at. Yeah. But like what they do. All right. So like in the movies and as a kid, I thought this was what Halloween was going to be like. We wandered neighborhoods in the pitch black darkness and costumes alone and get candy door to door at strange houses. In reality, everybody meets in a parking lot and pops their trunk of their car and each trunk of every trunk of a car has a laundry basket full of candy in it. And everybody just does a circle.

And that's that's what trick or treating is. Well, that's what it was for you because you're so rural. No, no, no, that's not what I know. I went door to door. We know everything is my childhood experience. My parents had loose reins on us, so we'd stay out way too late. We'd be out to like 10 PM. People would be like, why are you knocking on my door? It's bedtime. Like, you got any left? We'd bring two pillowcases. We went big. Yes.

Pillowcases was is fucking move. One. I was the place that would have those like trunk things was often like a local church. And so when I was like really young, my dad would like try and maximize our candy hall because he also was like one of those dads who's like, Oh, all these kids having such a fun time getting all the candies. And then we get home and the mask drops and he's like, and so he'd like have us running around, like getting entire neighborhoods worth and then he'd be like, all right,

everybody in the SUV, we can still hit St. John's if we're quick. And then like that would be like an addendum candy thing where it's like, like, like a loot room at the end of a dungeon. They have Catholics where you're from? Yeah. A ton of Catholics. Wow. We ran them all out of here. Did your parents inspect your candy? They inspect my candy as a way to like my dad would be like, oh, I gotta make sure these don't have razor blades I got to make sure this isn't poisonous. My dad was like a Twix thief Really? Good luck if you wanted a Twix and he found it in there My parents would inspect my candy, but the trust wasn't there.

So I would want to inspect them, inspecting the candy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it needs some supervision on that. It's about, I mean, a syringe is all it would take, right? Like you just, like, you won't even see the hole in the packaging. Yeah, I think you're right. Somebody was trying to do that.

For me, obviously living in Juarez, we used to go to El Paso and back then it was really, obviously I was born in El Paso so I could, we could go and trick or treat there. At the time Mexico didn't, or my part of Mexico didn't really celebrate it as much, but we would go and it was literally from the moment that the sun hit, the sunset, it was fucking on.

And it was the best. And, believereat or not Through the moment the Sun hit is that sunrise? No, no the moment the Sun hit the sunset or the Period of the day we were running candy corn believe it or not to this day is one of my one of my have to have During Halloween boys and the tootsie rolls dude dude you and I are in the minority on that I Everyone acts like candy corn is a substandard candy. No, it's garbage. What about the LGBTQ tootsie rolls? You know all the other colors the green one There's a chasm of difference

The yeah, there's a lime tootsie roll The lime one is solid. there's like a cotton candy one that's really good but then there's like I think a red one that kind of sucks it's where not like terrible I just mean like if it's worse than the regular tootsie roll I'm like this one is useless I wanted to go to the yellow ones are solid I wanted to go trick-or-treating like a year or two after I should have but I but I didn't I wanted to go when I was like 14 or 15. And I do remember having some thoughts, even when I was 16, of being like, I got wheels now. I could make it, I could put a mask on and I could just hit all the neighborhoods in the county. That's the firm line in the sand for age is like, if you can drive, you're too old for it. Imagine a car pulls up your sidewalk, I jump out, run to your door. Hurry, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. My car drive to the next house, the next door to the same. Dude,

a golf cart would be the move for that. But I'm excited that you came to my house. I don't care if you're 35, 45, 15, all those numbers are good for me. I enjoy the costume. Come, let me see. And I would, I wish we had trick or treat as well. I think at some point you graduate to, or you at least experiment with going to go get candy at the mall, right? Going from store to store to see what they, have you guys ever done that?

No. No, I didn't even know that was an option. Yeah, at the mall, like stores would have candy and some would have like gifts and shit. Like if it was an electronic store they were throwing like batteries or like you know fun shit. And a sock full of batteries for you little Jonathan. Have a B-cell.

Radio Shack's giving out terrible candy here's a an RC battery. I need a camping lantern now. Yeah yeah yeah I agree with Woody with the and hacks I guess I only disagree with you Kyle that like it's fun when a bunch of kids come up to your house and you get To see like it just puts you right back to being that age and it's like damn I remember how far I don't think I've ever done it. I don't have ever done it. Oh, it's a good You know what? I like I like the end of the night treaters because then I'm like,

I'm like just a giveaway master where they like, I let them take one thing and then I'm like, nah, motherfucker, both hands in there twice, you go crazy. I'm gonna put you in a wind tunnel with all the candy flying around and you grab as much candy as possible. It's great.

I think we usually do the show like right on Halloween one way or another. And it seems like that always interferes. So that's part of it. But I also just don't want to deal with children come into my house and take it seems like you have a bunch of thieves running around stealing. Oh, I just I just can't imagine. Look, I can trust the idea of leaving a bucket full of candy out on the honor system for candy. No way. The children it's children.

You see nothing on Reddit pleases me more than the people in offices who eat other people's lunches. And then they essentially poison that person. And that always shocked me. It's like, how the fuck can you eat some, another man's at your work? I mean that's just rude. Yeah. You can't, but then more than roots. Yeah. Shameful. Shameful. And it's, it's also insane to not just like catch the person and be like, Scott, enough. Take the hot box out. How many days in a row would I eat your prosciutto fucking magnifique before you just had a meltdown? I'll be smelling everyone's breath in the office

before you just had a meltdown. One, I'll be smelling everyone's breath in the office and I will have you nailed. You'll be in the bathroom like locked, like looking for five o'clock and I'll find you. You bring in like a half pound of Iberico ham and I just put it away. Oh yeah, I'll say like a Iberico. Get carpet at my desk.

Oh wow, I can't bring big knives. Speaking of Iberico ham, you just got back from Spain, right? I just got back from Madrid, had a bunch of it there. That's the best in the world. Very impressed. I'm told that every time you go into a bar there, they've just got a leg of it sitting and they'll slice pieces of it off and give you. I don't know how that works. I don't know how that is sanitary. I don't know how it works. I don't know how like, because it is true. You walk into any restaurant and they're like carving it into dishes that they're going to is sanitary. I don't know. I don't know how it works. I don't know how like, because it is true. You walk into any restaurant and they're like carving it into,

into dishes that they're going to hand out. But yeah, I don't, I don't know how that works from a sanitation standpoint or like how do it goes so fast. Yeah. Flies don't go in there and lay an egg and you know what I'm saying? Are you going to fly X first time in Madrid? Yes. First time in Spain. Yeah. That's cool. How long we there? Uh, one week, one week. And then we took a on the third to last day, we took a road trip from Madrid to Barcelona, spent a night in Barcelona,

came back, spent one more night and then flew back. Nice. Is it a pro vacation? Oh, just what's cool. It's Barcelona or Madrid. Uh, Madrid, a hundred percent. I'll tell you why Madrid, Madrid has more, Barcelona's got his, it's magic. Sure. For me, Barcelona quickly became in my top four cities that I've ever been to easily. Just the architecture, the ease of getting around. Everything's walkable. You're not walking more than 30 minutes to dinner

if you don't want to and every dinner that you go to is fire. Obviously depends on what you said, but I stay in the center of the city. Did you see any of the flooding? Because I know in Valencia, which is like south of where you were. Yeah, no, that happened the day that we flew back. Really sad.

I don't even know what happened. It's like a flash flood. But what caused by what? A tsunami? Like what? It was a couple different things. I think it was some coastal stuff. It's right on the coast.

And there was this like what we would call a lake. I don't know what they call the inland. And it seemed like that lake, in addition to the coastal flooding, just swamped a huge area there. 60 people dead. What? Some of the pictures look like something out of a like a 2012 disaster movie. You know when the streets will flood and the cars are like tumbling over one another

and making this ridiculous pile up and it's like that would never happen like that. There's pictures of the aftermath where the cars and the trash are just filling the street like like a Lego set or something It's crazy That's that's insane. I Had no idea this was going on this pain Look at this I know Yeah, that really sucks, you know, it's fucked up. Whoa

Photoshopped I'm saying it is the day that we got to Barcelona, which is on the same coastal side. It was mega windy There's pictures on the capture. Yeah Yes Crosswalk anyway, I looked at my dad and I'm like as I took my parents with they've never been out of the country You hear that's all my dad. I'm like, all right, pop tsunami waves coming your way. Where do you go? And then he's like, Oh, I'm going to go this way. That blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, Oh yeah, I would do the same thing. Right. And a day later, this shit happens. I'm like, Oh my God, I wish I hadn't said that, you know, with your dad's escape route and have worked for me. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think think I think you

spoken into existence man some of the stuff. Dude you talking about speaking things into existence? I was watching this Navy SEAL story and the guy was talking about they're going out on a mission and his buddy and him are like shitting around with each other like apparently they're always they're just a bunch of like it sounds like a high school football team when they describe the SEAL teams because they're all just chewing red man and just being shitty to one another. But, um, they were joking around with one another and the guy goes, I hope you get fucking shot tonight. And he got shot that night in the head.

Like he lived, but like he got shot that night. And so they get back and, uh, that guy's a mess and he's telling everybody, he's like, Oh my God, I feel so awful. I told him, I hope you get shot tonight. They're like, why would you say I feel so awful. I told him, I hope you get shocked tonight. They're like, why would you say that? Why would you ever say that? Like everybody else would melt down. It's great. Yeah.

The injuries, do you know his arm was shattered, uh, shot into, it took a few months to heal up and the head thing was fine because of his nods and his helmet. But, um, he got an infection from the evacuation running through blindly now without nods and to grow stuff with all the wounds and shrapnel. But what is this word nods? Night vision goggles. Oh okay. But long story short he was back on the SEAL team shooting people. It wasn't even SEAL team, it was Delta Force. He was back there shooting people a few months later. Like as soon as his arm was healed and he could pass the test he was back on the SEAL team shooting people. It wasn't SEAL team is Delta Force. He was back there shooting people a few months later, like as soon as his arm was healed and he could pass the test, he was back.

He tried to sneak back. So one Navy SEAL told another Navy SEAL he hoped they got shot. Yeah, yeah. And then he did that night. That's like that's a bit different than like, yeah, like people at the bank or like at Stone Cold Creamery being like, I hope you get shot. You raspberry scooping idiot. Like, I thought they were football players. Oh my goodness.

I never would have imagined my Navy seal teammate could be shot at. And it's like, I think that was what you guys did is get shot at and shoot people. Yeah. I love those podcasts. Those have become one of my favorite things. They're like special forces guys and the Delta force guys talking about going on missions and doing crazy shit. Um, which, uh, which podcasts are they? Like I don't pay attention to the host. I don't know their names. I never know anybody's names. I'm just, I kind of like stories. Yeah.

I'm just listening to the story. I almost want the host to shut up cause I just want his story. Um, And it's always crazy shit. It'll be like stuff that you wouldn't think would even happen. There was one guy who was Delta Force and they sent him on a solo mission looking for the people who smuggled Osama Bin Laden out of Afghanistan. And he just dressed like a native, kept quiet and hitchhiked and took buses deep into Afghanistan for days and days and days. And they're like, what if anybody asks you anything? Just act like dumb as fuck, you know. Like he just blended in somehow and didn't get murdered. Yeah. Lots of crazy stuff. Blended in. I'm so mixed on Navy SEAL stuff. On one hand, stories like that, love them.

I can't get enough. I love the cool Army stories, that's the best. But sometimes they'll go on a podcast and be like, yeah, it was rough in Beirut. I don't even like to talk about it. Well, you're on a podcast, you fuck shit. Talk about it, that's what you're here for. Or they do this, Navy SEAL disapproves

of Donald Trump's tariff plan. Yeah, well, if you have any questions about armory or bullets or something, ask the Navy SEAL guy. You want to know taxes? Talk to an accountant. Yeah. That would be fun to have a Navy SEAL on and then only ask like, so what when you're over there, like in chill and like, what shows do you watch? You're like, just asking just boring shit. The problem is a lot of them aren't good storytellers. So you'll be listening and you're like,

and the guy have to stop and he's like, wait, so you shot that guy? Oh yeah, shot him. He's like, you should have punctuated that moment. The moment where you shot the man. You just kind of moved past it with like, he was just like, and I engaged that guy. And then I look on the roof and like, Whoa, you engaged him. Yeah. I shot him in the face and it exploded. All right. We'll say that that's much better lately. Like they're not great at telling stories.

Right. It sometimes the right host though can. You also don't want to run into the one that's like, dude, then all of a sudden it's fucking crazy. Yeah. And it was like, it was like a slow motion bullet. It was like the movie wanted with Angelina Jolie and I fucking curved this shit. It hit its forehead. It peeled back the eyebrows first below that this

cranium started cracking. It was awesome. First, then you're like, uh, yeah, and then this is the thing. This is the thing, Joe, that they don't want to say. And all the other special forces guy will tell you, you get hard. You're leaking a little bit. That's why they didn't help that I was on the road. I wore a condom on every engagement, Joe. I'd fill that thing up before I got back. I tell you every night, that's how we knew if we'd done a good job that day, how full your condom was, if it was barely clinging onto your dick,

being pendulous with the weight of semen, you knew you could a lot of evil that day. Track record anymore. Aren't you glad you didn't go do that? Did you ever think about joining the military? Never. Not, not once. I did in high school. Sure. If you wanted to next concept Oh, no, no, you know he asked you yeah, I Think army was the only thing that was like

Popular to me back there or something that I heard a lot of They had ROTC there and I almost joined that and you know I did want to want to serve and then all of a sudden it's just like something else happened. And I, my, my mind was just someone else, but, but yeah, I told my dad, I'm like, yo, I don't, I don't think college is for me. So I'm either going to go and get a job, a serious one, or I'm going to join the army, my pops was like, all right. He supported whatever you decided.

Yeah. After nine 11, you know, like I took it, I was mad. You know, I was really mad. And there were, there were so many sad stories about those people that were flying out of the building, you know, jumping from the flames and shit. We saw all that. I was mad and it seemed like we were going to get them. And George Bush was gung ho after he crawled out of his hole. Like after, after he knew, after they told him it was close, was close was clear and he crawled out. He was gung-ho. He's like we're gonna I hear you and pretty soon the people that knocked down these buildings

Are gonna hear all of us. I was fuck. Yeah, that sounds good You know I wanted them to build the towers back exactly the way they were or I saw one mock-up where it was just a hand giving The middle finger like but in towers seen that But yeah, I thought seriously about going and I talked to dad about it and he was like No, you don't do that. He'll kill you over there and I was like, nah No, but we had like a serious conversation about it. And he was like you really don't want to do that You think let's go wait till next year. Let's see how the war goes, you know, I think you said something like that

Let's see how the war goes, you know, like like you don't want to be the first man across the line Let's uh, let's let them go out and clear things out and build all the all the ford operating bases that you'll be staying in Let's let all that happen first my friends ended up in iraq just mowing down. Oh, yeah people who can't fight back really Um, it would have been depended. I don't know what was going on in. Oh five Was was oh five still have five was afghanistan. I don't think we was going on in 05. Was 05 still Af... 05 was Afghanistan. I don't think we'd done Iraq yet. No, we were in Iraq. We were probably in both at that point.

Yeah. Because 9-11 was 2001. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, so four or five years later, we were into it. We were in both of them still in like 2009, I know, because my friend, the Marine guy, shout out to him. He was like doing ROTC for like one semester and we were in college together. And cause his parents were like, okay, if you're going to do this, because he was one of those kids who like, when we, we went to kindergarten together and they

asked like all of us, like, what do you want to be? And everyone had like bullshit kindergarten answers, like the sports star baseball legend. And he was like, he was like, I want to be a front man Marine who breaches doors. And like, I knew exactly what he wanted to be. And he did like half of a semester of ROTC. And then he's like, dude, this is gay. The war's going to be over by the time I get there, I'm dropping out. And his parents tried to stop him.

And he just dropped out and joined the Marines anyway and then went over there and fought and did his thing. Was he Fallujah? Where did he go? I believe he was. Yeah. That's in Afghanistan, right? I don't know but I know Fallujah is like the crazier.

Fallujah was like a city of terrorists and they surrounded it and they went door to door and got them all. He kicked down doors. That was one. That was one of his jobs. I think a lot of a lot of Americans died in Fallujah. There's a game, I think, maybe called Six Days in Fallujah or something like that.

And it's it's that you get to play as your buddy. You should tell him about it. He'd love that. I bet he would like they made a game about you and he would like it. I bet he's still like he loves like he knows he would never go join the military again, because we're in our thirties now. But like he still keeps up with a lot of his Marine buddies and guys who are still in and so he'll talk to us and be like, Oh, he's into a lot of the same stuff. Kyle is where he's like, Oh, these new planes are sick.

Look at this video of these new guns and like the way they're doing these, this mechanization now and all the Ukrainians thought this is how it was going to go but then the Russians did this which we haven't seen like in a modern war in a long time like just an interested at seeing how wars play out which I think is kind of similar to what you view for Kyle unless I'm mistaken. Yeah I mean I was just such. I liked World War Two stuff so much in high school, and my dad did, too, so we'd watch any time we had the remote control. We were watching History Channel, probably. And the History Channel was basically World War Two all day, every day.

And so I was really fascinated by that. And so to see this new European war that's in the modern era, it is fascinating. It's crazy to watch. The stuff we did in Iraq and Afghanistan was different, was like very different. This is a real war. This is chess pieces moving around the board and all sorts of sorts of counterattacks and new weapons and learning and weapons being developed as the system as the war goes. It's been we talk about Ukraine right now? Yeah, yeah. Seeing those drones drop the thermite on those guys

or seeing like, I saw some advanced tactics this week where they're moving Ukrainians are moving multiple APCs and multiple tanks coordinated with drones and it's like they edit the video together and it's like a movie. It's like, as soon as they start taking fire from over here. I saw the one where they were

dropping thermite on the, in the little forest, it was like a little forested area. Yeah. It was nuts. Nuts. Can you imagine being in a hole and looking up and seeing that? Thermite isn't for exploding. It's for burning through stuff, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that it was thermite. It could have been some kind of white phosphorus. It's some sort of, it's a chemical agent that's burning super super hot like thousands of degrees My phosphorus is that really scary one, right? Yeah, I think Willie Pete is another Thing they call it. It's probably Willie Pete's probably a mixture of things

But but yeah, it's it's incendiaries. They drop from the sky. Basically that's what you what were you mixing? What were you mixing during the show? What was it called? The mix that you. Oh, Tannerite is what he used. Tannerite, Tannerite. Oh yeah, for explosives, Tannerite. But I've used thermite before and I've used.

Something else, red dot. I don't know what that was. Oh, that's just another kind of ammonium nitrate explosive agent that's just sensit kind of ammonium nitrate explosive agent. That's just sensitized. There's another agent. So it'll blow up more easily or even be flame sensitive. But it's essentially ammonium nitrate that's given it all the pop. That's the explosive part of it. That's pretty cool. Too bad. And napalm. We did napalm too. I wanted to make real napalm. So we ordered chemicals off the internet. Is it safe to have a few pounds of that just sitting in your attic napalm? No, no tannerite

Oh so safe so safe Yeah Like like so safe It's by by this time a little bit of moisture has seeped in and it's become partially inert and all those tiny little seeped in and it's become partially inert and all those tiny little prilled balls have formed into a Solid thing now you'd have to like take a ice pick to it to get it to work again by the attic though You're gonna tell me that's safe, too Oh 100% safe, but there's nothing like like I always take an ice pick to my explosives. You're fine

I'm waiting if it did go off magically The attic's got to be the worst possible place. Put it under your bed. What are you thinking? Put it in the corner of the basement. You don't care about as much. No, I don't think you know how bombs work. Like, is this like a known thing that you keep your stuff up there? Me?

I don't have a base. He's just got some. I just had some extra. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's nothing wrong with that. That's not true. You're saying one of those no basement states. extra. Yeah, yeah. No, there's nothing wrong with that. That's true for a say. One of those no basement states.

Yeah, they're rare around here. I don't know anyone with one. We don't have any basements in Texas either, except for Seth. Seth's out as a basement. In New Jersey, a lot of people have basements. I had one. Yeah, Chicago too. Suburbs, everything.

I think it's because there's clay underneath us. So Seth, I don't know if you guys know this, but he lives in the same neighborhood as me and he lives right here. And then Nate Shot just moved in literally also down the street to the right. We're here. We're taking over. You've got kind of a compound, a survivalist compound being built. How is everything on the optic side from a tournament level? Good. We just won a world championship or second in the history of our organization. It was the Call of Duty World Champs. It felt good. Who's on the team now?

The people that won it is Kenny, Pred felt good. It was on the team now. Uh, it, the people that want it is, uh, Kenny, uh, pred from Australia. Then we have, uh, my man dashie and Shotzi. Gotcha. Being coached by, by karma. Yeah. And it's interesting how similar. I'm like scum. He's the best, uh, slayer, right?

Big timer. He's the strategist, he's clutch. Yes, dude, he just moved away. It's the first time in like over a decade that we haven't lived in the same area. So he's gone. He moved on as a kid, still day trading. So, you know, you can be everywhere. Yeah. I always thought he was, uh, I, I was a fan of him because he seemed a little more level headed and mature than most of the people on the scene. And that's actually pretty important. It's easy for teams to start hating each other. They get, uh, envious of one another and he's more of a, I don't know, calming leading force. It was good to have him. Yes, yes, yes.

How often do you like, are the teams getting switched up and, you know, calming leading force. It was good to have him. Yes. Yes. Yes. How often do you like, are the teams getting switched up and, you know, people get relegated or someone else gets boosted up if it's only seemed like it's for people? Yeah. That's just, you know, the players know who they want to play with. They, uh, they, they pick and choose. Uh, they'll, they'll deliberate amongst themselves and then make an offer, extend an invite.

And that's how he goes. That's how it'll be for a very long make an offer, extend an invite. And that's how you go. Absolutely. Has it evolved? So it hasn't evolved yet to the, to like binding contracts where you've got. No, of course. Okay. All right. Yeah.

That that's been, that's been in place for over a decade since 2012, 13. Since wings got scammed. I don't remember how he got scammed. Oh, I don't remember. He got off a contract and shit. Oh no, he, you know, he owned, um, um, envious, envious. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I forgot about that half a plane ticket or something. Yeah. He like bought somebody half a plane ticket and then claimed like a percentage of envious. And then he was like getting involved with player trades and stuff on Twitter. Love that. Love that.

That's the best. That I didn't, I don't know all the details of that story, but that sounds hilarious. Yeah. I'm 90% correct. No, no, you're right. I remember, I remember now. As you started to say it, I'm like, oh fuck.

Yeah, that's the envy thing. Yeah you started to say it, I'm like, Oh fuck. Yeah. That's, that's, uh, that's the envy thing. Yeah. It's a long fucking time ago is forever. I watched a JD Vance on Joe Rogan today. Did anybody catch any of that? No, yeah. I just know that it happened. Some of it, some highlights. I'll be, you know, I'm going to be honest. I, I, I didn't think Trump did a great job on there. Um, but I thought JD Vance in the 45 minutes of it, I just watched,

he did over three hours And he came up personally he came off as a nice guy and he told he's talking about his kids and shit and I Gotta admit I like him. I don't like if I didn't know what his policies were. I was just like he's a likable guy I thought he did really well and I gotta say Trump finally did what I've been begging the campaign to do forever and that was Embrace the memes see if I, if I were part of the Trump team, we'd have been doing a train tour. The Trump train would have been a literal thing. Yes. Like, um, presidents used to do this all the time. FDR did it lately. Like you'd be on the back of the train and it would stop at every stop and the

people would be gathered there and you'd do a rally at each stop of the train. I would have had a Trump trainer going across the country, even if we had to lay fucking track. But he went after Biden in that call called Trump supporters garbage or trash or whatever. Trump went and got garbage force one or Trump force garbage or whatever the fuck that was. He got a big ass garbage truck and branded it with Trump stuff and put on a garbage man suit. And he rode to his rally as a garbage man suit and he rode to his rally as a garbage man and then he continued to wear it when he went on stage. It was hilarious. Tanner Iskra That s kind of fun.

Jason Bounds It was hilarious. Tanner Iskra And he had so much makeup on that he looked, he s darker than hex. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, doing even more than usual? Cause I haven't waited for it. It was a rainy day. So I'm just guessing, but it was a rainy day. Um, so I'm guessing that maybe they had to lacquer him up good. So it was one like Giuliani. Yeah. I think they slacked a coat of some clear on him or something.

And it made the, he was so dark. If you can, I would say almond. He was at almond level. His, uh, then his high visibility. Sure. Genuinely darker than Kamala. Like if you, if you use one of those home Depot paint checkers, like she'd be burnt Sienna and he'd be almond mocha or some man, you're a good color swath. Name her just

geez. I mean, look at that. Look at the hand. Just off the top. There we go. Geez. I mean, look at the, look at the hand. Hands are the first thing they go, they go dark, right? Like they're the most exposed at all times. Not here now, but you can't argue with the evidence. He uses the, the Kyle approach to golf. Two golfs. Always hidden.

That's how you golf, Taylor. All the pros. Nobody golfs like that. Whenever you, whenever you talk about this, me and all the other pros out there, we laugh at you because we know that we're not out there hot-dogging it like some people. We're putting both our gloves on and we're giving 100%, okay? Hot-dogging it, I like it. Me and all my other two gloves when we golf. What's your handicap down to now? Just curious.

Four. Four, Four. Okay. Damn it. I was hoping you'd say something retarded there. Easy to make fun of because you don't know how to golf. No, I really sharpened up my short game. That was the problem. I was always able to drive and, uh, and you know, like those 125 little chippers, like I got no issue there. I can get out of the traps, but that short game was terrible. I don't know. Do you golf hex or not? No, no, no, but I'm involved with a with a brand called good good gaming. The golfers, they're just golfing youtubers that fucking dope ass golf stuff. One of the guys, Matt Sharf has hit like four hole in ones, one of them being the longest putt hole in one in the history of golf. It's a hole in one, but he just putted. Was it? Yeah.

No, no, no. OK, because I've done that. Do you know how far it is for many? I think one hundred and forty six yards. So he like smacked it with the putter off the box. I don't know. I don't. I think he sat it on the ground and he putted one hundred like that clearly downhill.

Yeah, that was you couldn't keep it on the ground. Maybe he smashed it. like that clearly downhill. Yeah, you couldn't keep it on the ground. Maybe he smashed it. I don't know. I kind of watched the video. You can't put a ball hard enough that it's going to roll through all that fairway. I've never swung a putter that hard. Yeah. I would have it either. You'd have to say, actually I did one time I was dude, I was putting with like my, my football team when I was like peewee football and I drove a golf ball on this kid's ribs, like 15 yards away. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of putting, I just gave it all I got and call it luck, call it skill.

But I hit that ball so squarely and drove it right into this kid's ribs. And it made an audible thunk and dropped him. Yeah. He cried coach was so pissed. So two, two things to note. Uh, one, two of his hole in ones, uh, were on a par four. That's on video. It's fucking insane. Yeah. Is that more impressive or less impressive?

A par four is the better. Three, right? The higher the par is the longer the hole is. And so like, how many tries do you have to get? I just didn't know what a normal hole was. I is four pretty typical. That's what I was asking. I guess. Four is a hard one. Three, four and five are the most difficult, but there's a lot of courses, especially more casual where it's like just a par three course. Everything is par three there. So there's three, four and five, but people get the hole in ones on the threes. Typically. I think I get it.

Typically. Yeah. Like, you know, a par five, you, you'd have to do something where you'd have to be like that big fat guy who like drinks and smokes all day and somehow, yeah, you have to be like John. Knowing kid. Dude, I love like every once in a while I'll go on a John Daly hole on YouTube and just listen to other doc, uh, not doctors, other golfers talk about him. And they'll be like, yeah, you just see him go up there. And, you know, he's like visibly hung over.

He's drinking again. He's like on his 13th cigarette of the morning and it's 815. And then like, I'm like, this is my chance to knock out John Daly, you know, to get ahead of him. And then he just drives it 435 yards, something physical impossibility to other professionals. Then he says, and opens another beer and got in his car. And it was like, this guy rocks. I don't remember it super well, but the Tiger Woods story is great. We're like, Daley was playing Woods the next day and Woods is out shooting balls, practicing or something.

And then he's turning in early for bed he's hitting he's hitting some 10 p.m bedtime or something and he sees daily drinking in the bar like downstairs in the hotel he's like you turning in john he's like not anytime soon and he's like i think he might have stayed up all night drinking and then and then he and he's like i drank all that night and the host has to ask him he's like who who won? Oh, I beat the shit out of him Wasn't even part of a story for him that he beat woods the next day. It was just like yeah We drank all night had a good time You like you see how hard he swings the driver and he's like using his fatness in his girth

To to power him to throw momentum behind it. It's one of those things. That's like to power him, to throw momentum behind it. It's one of those things that's like, not at all cool, but feels kind of cool anyway. Like when Charlie Sheen was doing that, what is it, Tiger Blood hashtag winning stuff, you're like, this is actually a man in distress who's having a hard time, whose life is about to crash and it did.

And John Daly feels the same way, but until it crashes, it's kind of cool. Well, he's been doing it for 30 years or something like that. Like he's built his life around it. Have you seen that motor home he lives in? I know it's dope. But is it really? I don't want to be drunk and smelling like cigarettes all the time.

I don't want to be that fat. Like I would trade places with John Daly. That's fair. I think that's what he likes, you know, and it sounds like they talk about the amounts of beers he'll drink, like cases of beers and stuff, and it's, he's a prodigious drinker. So I think he handles it. He clearly handles it better than most people. And it's not just building a resistance. He's one of the best all-time professional golfers. So yeah, he handles it better than most people. Can you imagine if he just tried? If he was 180 pounds and jogging every morning at 5 a.m. and then eating his

all-natural breakfast and then heading out to the links? I wonder what that version of his like. So I'm a bit of a basketball fan. They all often talk about Shaquille O'Neal and how he didn't work very hard. But would his career have been better if he practiced harder or would he just be injured all the time? He was saving that battery for the game. That's what Donald Trump believes. You know, that's, that's his theory of exercise is that all human beings have like a bat. We're essentially a battery that cannot recharge. We have a finite amount of logo juice in us.

And so exercising is counterproductive. You're just running your, your finite battery juices down. Save that rest. Yeah. Makes sense to me. That's the best way to rationalize not working out ever being like, Nope, I'm actually taking the even healthier route actually doing that. Yeah.

It's always weird when you see a professional athlete who has a lot of promise, but clearly doesn't give a shit about the sport. There was this one guy in like, I think like the first overall pick in the NHL and like 2002, everyone's like, Oh, this guy from Eastern Europe, he's incredible. He's so good at hockey. You know, we just, the only problem is like, he clearly doesn't have fun playing hockey at all. He doesn't enjoy it, but he has all the raw talent.

And like he faded out of the league way before his time because he'd be straight up be giving interview. I think Alexander Daigle was his name. They'd give him interviews and they'd be like, so it doesn't seem like you gave it your own. He's like, it is if I'm being totally honest, like I hate being here. I hate playing here. I don't like hockey.

It is not something I enjoy. This is a job for me. And so, yes, this is my job. I'm not like hockey. It is not something I enjoy. This is a job for me. And so yes I'm not having fun Speaking of like that attitude. Did you see what happened with the Colts quarterback? Mm-hmm Yeah, so the court Colts, I think is a new quarterback. I think he's a he's a young guy And he like called himself out of the game at one point in the game He's like he's like bit, you know, he wanted to go to the bench and wanted the old veteran

I can't remember who it is Flacco or somebody to come in and and play for him and after the game they asked Anthony Richardson's Like the the young quarterbacks name that called himself out and it was Flacco damn In the press conference, they asked him, you know, what what happened there? What was going on that play did you just have something drawn up for flaco or he's like, well, you know I did a lot of running out there and I was tuckered out and I thought I needed to take a little rest And they're like, are you serious? And so he's been getting Trashed on like like all the old former players who do who do are like talking heads now are just shitting on him

It's like you're not a steel worker. What do you think? Is he wrong or right? Yeah, he's a, I mean, nobody else is calling themselves out of the game. Like he's the quarterback. He runs least of all. Those guys who are running the routes every time, making it seem like they're the go guy. Like they're not calling themselves out.

Do you think that there's a moment in that game in which the release just went a little bit not as he planned. And he's like, man, I'm getting tired. I'm about to throw a fucking interception. I better sit my ass out cause I'm a little bit tired. He ran on the previous play. He ran a good bit scrambling and he was just tired. Like nobody has ever done what he did before. I'm not con look, I don't know football. He's been bitched. Has he?

So I guess it's a mistake certainly career wise it was but I can't help but wonder if maybe players would be better if they did that like players take plays off but don't leave the game right and players always like don't cover their man all the way I can see this is unlikely to go to the guy that I'm covering I'm going to do a half-assed job and and they get away with it. But as quarterback he can't really do that so he called himself out. Thank you for a play or so. I don't know. Let him get plenty of rest. Yeah I mean it's hard to defend it knowing how. Like you're kind of the

general. You also gotta see him like he's a young guy like like he is not the guy on the team who needs rest. You know he looks like he should be able to scramble and then go and then do that for a full game of football like everybody else I remember when like Peyton or Peyton Manning was getting toward the ends of the end of his career And he was old and Brett Favre even he was still running around out there. He wasn't calling himself out He's just throwing INDs in the playoffs fucking piece of shit But the barbs and scumbag Brett Favre is the worst is a scumbag. Brett Favre is the worst. He's a scumbag. Well, okay, yes. So if you don't know, he scammed all those kids

in I think Mississippi, where he's from, out of like welfare money. Four, four million. And funneled it, funneled it, funneled like a million of it to his pocket for like a speech he gave, and then three more million maybe went to his daughter's volleyball gymnasium being constructed

or something like that. And then he's got just a piece of shit scumbag move for a guy whose whole image is being down to earth. He was always the Wrangler guy, like down to earth, kind of a country guy, conservative, like champion. And he's stealing from the poor of his own state. Like that's his bag. Yeah. And he has enough like, I don't think he's short on money poor of his own state. Like that's his bag. Yeah, and he has enough like, I don't think he's short on money. He was the right guy.

And the text messages were so incriminating. Like I think it was the governor he was working with. If not, it was some other like top Republican from Mississippi. And he's like, I'm worried that people are gonna find out we're stealing from the poor. And he's like, nah, no one will ever know.

So like he knew he was stealing from the poor while he was doing it. This isn't some misunderstanding. And he was assured he wouldn't get caught. Is there something happening in his story now? He was at the Trump rally yesterday. So I saw him speak there. He went, he took the stage and Donald was like,

I shook his hand, those fingers, they're like sausages. What a weird thing to say. You know, he's got those small hands. He's like, Oh my God, I could tour. What do I say about this guy? I shouldn't bring up that Mississippi stuff. Definitely don't talk about his dick. Don't talk about the dick pick. Really can really use the guy. He's the guy who sent the flaccid dick pick that time and it got

intercepted or whatever and he's also got the NFL record. That's more on him than the poor stealing. A flaccid dick pick? What are we doing? Like just get hard dude. You're a professional athlete. He was resting Taylor. He was resting. He's resting. Yeah, he set himself out. I set my dick out because it was right in the middle of fucking. I'm like, you know what? I gotta, I gotta himself out. He said, I sent my dick out because it wasn't right in the middle of fucking. I'm like, you know what? I got to, I got to back out. I think he's got the NFL record for interceptions.

Uh, he did. That could be one of those like, uh, it's not because there's, there's records for, uh, like Martin Bredeux or the goalie in the NHL where they're like, Oh, he has the record for the most goals allowed. And you know, this kind of, and it's like, yeah, cause he played way more than anyone else. So it's almost not fair. Have the star record.

Does that sound right? Some really good hitter has the strikeout record. I know what you're going to, because like, you're always going to put him up. So like, if I was in major league baseball, I would not get the most strikeouts in history because they'd kick me off the team in no time. Yeah. Yeah. He's got the most I and T's because he threw a lot of I and T's and he played a long time. Yeah. The long time. Did he play like as long as Brady in those? I think he was 30 late thirties for sure, because I remember he came back and played for somebody else.

He played for the Vikings, maybe for at least one season. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player.

I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player.

I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I think he's a great player. I did since 1997's quarterback challenge. I was a massive, massive fan of Brett Favre. It went as far as to say that he was my favorite quarterback after, well, he took, he took Joe Montana's place as my favorite quarterback. And that's always the position that I liked to play when we, when I was in high school. So when I found out all the other stuff, like one, I was

impressive that it was impressive that he was out there Fucking slinging it like that Fuck right so accurately still because have you ever tried to play cod with like one of your drawings? Even with one eye, it doesn't happen. Yeah Yeah, he uh in kind of a disgrace now pete manning was always my favorite quarterback. I like he's He's going down or not like that. Let me rephrase that. He's, he's sick right now. Uh, Brett Farber, I think he's got dementia. Uh, just got diagnosed. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He, cause so they drug him before Congress for the whole robbing the poor thing. And he was like, he opened like Kevin Spacey did. He's like, I now identify

as a man with a neurological disorder, by the way, like's got some Parkinson's. Yeah. Apologies. Yeah. And they're like, well, sorry to hear that, especially since you've got a lot of charges coming. I'm not sure if you'll be able to understand them and legally defend yourself going forward. And we don't care. We don't care. There's pieces of shit. Um, I hate that stealing from the poor thing. Yeah, absolutely. Um, but I always like Peyton Manning cause he would, he would read the, I, I hate that stealing from the poor thing. Yeah, absolutely. Um, but I always liked Peyton Manning cause he would, he would read the, uh, the defense or seemingly read the defense and he called these audibles.

He's be like, Whoa, Whoa, chestnut 45, blue Eagle, blue Eagle. And the, and everybody would be like, Oh shit, blue Eagle. I didn't know it was that kind of move. And they all rearrange into a different shape and do a different fucking thing. And I always appreciated that because it was so above my head that I was just like, that guy's got to be the smartest quarterback in the league. Well, he's got to be the smartest. Look at his fucking brain pan.

Look at that head. Do you think he got off the shelf helmets? No, no, no. That thing was extra tall. He's a codehead from SNL. It's crazy. but it was. It was so hard to be a Colts fan, which I was like for years because

every year we play Tom Brady. Every year we play Tom Brady and he won a lot of Super Bowl. Yeah, I think I think Peyton Manning might have the the all time record for most playoff losses and it's and it's because of Tom Brady. It's his excellence. It speaks to, it's, yeah,

it speaks to how good Peyton Manning was and how great, uh, um, Brady was. Well you better enjoy while Brady has all these nice little records cause Patrick Mahomes is coming for all of them. I hope so dude. I'm a Patrick Mahomes fan. I wish him well. The Dodgers are the ones who showed out and like made an incredible world series. I don't know if you'll watch any of that. Is it over?

But yeah, it's over. Freddie Freeman, like every night was hitting. There's a Dodgers player called Freddie Freeman. He used to play for the Braves and liked him a lot. He's a really nice guy, like like just always smiling and just a fan favorite. It was a shame when we lost him. Anyway, he hit multiple home runs in every single game. I think like he won all of the World Series basically on his back and then in game they lost one game they were in there. So in the game five, the Dodgers

need to win one more to which was last night when one more to win the whole series and they're down five to nothing and they came back in one. They just rallied and one, it was a, it was a good game. Um, I watched it on and off like throughout the series and like, I just hate the Dodgers so much. I hate the Dodgers so much. I wanted the Yankees to win the series. Uh, I feel like anyone but the Yankees is the more common thing, right? I don't have a dog in the fight, right?

But the first baseball team, professional Major League baseball team that I saw was the Dodgers. It was Fernando Valenzuela. I was eight years old. It was the first time I ever traveled with all my parents from Juarez, drove to Los Angeles, watched it, came back. It was awesome. So I was like, yeah, if I'm going to pick one. Also there's a lot of mexicans over there okay so i'm gonna have to sign over there you gotta it's

it's it's uh it's new york style pizza versus tacos you know what i'm saying oh there's room for at all you know there's room for all those things i just hate the dodgers because they're just a problem for the braves every year now that that I'll ever watch them again, but I like, I even liked the Dodgers uniform. I think your uniform is sick. I think their helmets are sick. They've got those like Matt helmets, not the shiny ones, which I think looked really nice. I like everything about the Dodgers except that, you know, they're not my team. They keep beating up on your poor Braves. Apparently. Well, everybody does.

We didn't even make it to the fucking playoffs this year. Cause there's a bunch of fucking losers. Hey, a lot of cool teams missed the playoffs Yeah The returning champs, right? They missed it. God damn it. I don't even know who the return of the Rangers Texas Rangers Come through the first pitch. They ended up winning. We went we had a we have a night every year We have an optic night at the Rangers Stadium. So one one of us is going to this year this year was me I threw the first pitch I took it easy, you know, I didn't want to throw as hard as I did the first year

Which was two years ago Where like I'm just gonna show off. I'm gonna see if I can if I still got in a fucking sling It was that's not so this time was just kept it easy threw it in there. It was awesome Then we have and then we have a maps night and they made it all the way to the, to, to the playoffs also. So we're like, Holy fuck, we are the secret. Juventus, we had a Juventus night and they fucking won too. Like the, the champs. Optics are good, like charm. And then we won. Oh my God. Get out of here. Then you want, you guys are on a hot streak. Yeah. Right. We need to get you in

there with my homes. Scum was already throwing the ball with my homes. That's perfect. As we need, we need our third in a row this year. They say it can't be done. It's never been done. Never been done. Yeah. I'm hoping for it. That'd be sick, dude. I was just this, like I'm not a big NFL fan at all, but like I see like the bot, I have it on TV, like the Ravens playing the chiefs. And I was telling Kyle and Woody that like, I'm so used to following

sports where I'm always like, my team's gonna suck. It's gonna lose. It's gonna be over. And then watching the Chiefs. I'm like, oh, the Chiefs are down by three to the Ravens. Crazy. I can't wait to see how they win. And then like just run away with it.

Pat Mahomes, you know, takes it to the house. Scores. Perfect. Like no stress watching it. Taylor there. I don't know. I only watch it. T Swift's there.

You only watch it. Same. I saw that her boyfriend got a touchdown, and I think that guys he can't he has to be done after this year, right? 37 years old. Tight end 37. I thought he was like 37 or something. I don't think that old. I don't think he's that old.

I would, I don't know. It depends what his numbers are, right? Yeah, but like it seems like those hyper successful NFL guys that have got some wins, like they got the credentials, they're going to be known as great. Like they start to measure out the like, all right, well, Brett Favrez, Parkinson's and this guy killed himself and this guy has C so bad, he's like shaking all the time. I've already got three Super Bowls or whatever. I think I'm gonna cash out.

Yeah, I can see that too. I agree. Yeah, the neurological thing is super scary. Yeah. And I see them, they've got the new helmets now, but nobody really wears them. I think you almost get called a bitch if you wear the new helmet.

Yeah. Even if you do, whiplash is still a thing, you know, like your, your, your body's still going to, to, to your brain's gonna move in an unnatural way at any point. Doesn't, you know, it's not as, as bad as when you get hit in the head shirt, but you're still going to go through those things. And that is something you have to take. You're married or you're not married, but you're about to maybe marry Taylor Swift, dude. Okay. It's this trophy husband time Okay, that woman is so fucking powerful. Just sit back and relax. Yeah, I don't believe in the relationship

I think it's I think it's either fake or it ended a while ago But it makes financial sense to pretend it's still going dude out of that. She needs the money. She don't need shit I think he's a billionaire multi shit. I think he's a billionaire. I'm all tight. I was worth a lot. Yeah. And I mean, he's only poor compared to her.

Like he's right. He's fine. Yeah. Compared to most NFL 1.6 bill. OK, so almost multi. This is a size up the multi. She's got a ton. Yeah. I don't know about the relationship being fake. I'm not that clued into it But if that's what it takes to keep the Chiefs winning keep running that relationship. Yeah. Yeah push it forward undefeated

Like the the house are undefeated if I remember correctly the game with the Falcons was close And the Falcons are doing pretty well. I think the Falcons are probably leading their division They're like they're above well above 500. They're like, they're above, well above 500. They're four and two or five and two or some shit like that. I haven't looked in a minute, but they'll be in the playoffs. I'm looking forward to it.

Actually don't the- Five and three. Maybe. Okay. Yeah. Not bad. Well, not bad. Not bad at all. Yeah. It's gonna make the playoffs. The Eagles are five and two. So good year. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll see. It'll be fun to watch who the chiefs beat in the Superbowl this year. I put a thousand dollars on the bears to win. If they

win, I'm going to get 45,000. I was, I was, I was super hyped. I was super hyped on Caleb. Uh, and what this like two Sundays ago, I'm like, you know what? It looked fucking good. You know, this is how this story begins. You know, so I'm like, I'm going to be I'm going to be that that that guy that won that visionary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Looks like their last every now and then a bet like that. Doesn't look like four and three.

So the season's far from over, but they're not looking like if they're Super Bowl winners, they need Detroit and Green Bay and Minnesota to. Every so often something magical happens though. That's true. You can go on a run. Yeah. It's a lot easier to go on a baseball though. I don't know about the NFL. Like, like they get a lot of.

I mean Detroit's up there, you know, obviously like it's crazy. Sports talk. Do you still maintain the Tyson fights not going to happen? I mean, I think it's, I think it I think I just I thought when he had the medical thing that was their way of like pulling out with honor and that anything thereafter was just going to be fan service like saving face. So I didn't think it was going to happen. And I haven't been following those circles well enough media wise to know if they've been saying, yeah, yeah, this date, that date. Like, I don't know if that's been said, but no, I

didn't, I didn't think it was going to happen after the, the Tyson pullout for medical two weeks. Okay. In two weeks, they're releasing training. I mean, okay, I was going to smoke him. Paul's going to, do you think, oh yeah, it's going to be, Paul's going to smash this guy. People forget Mike Tyson was losing to people of Jake Paul's quality at the end of his career. Like Tyson was losing to Journeyman. It wasn't like he lost to Lennox Lewis and stopped fighting. He lost to someone with no Wikipedia page. Right. And now he's up against Jake Paul and he's older than me. He just fought Roy Jones Jr.

In an exhibition fight and... Oh, dude, I hope you're wrong. I hope you're right. I don't know. I hope you're wrong though. That would be right. Look, I got it. I can feel it. I can feel it. Jake Paul's going to smoke him. Like, we need to put a bet. I mean, I think we have to bet on it. He might. I don't make thousand dollar bet. Some honor hundred dollars. It's like 20 bets for me. You guys are both super sure though.

Woody and I already have a little, a little bit floating around with this, this thing. Wait, who's who? So I, we bet a hundred dollars. It is like going back two years ago when we made the bet. I was so sure that Trump was not only going to run, but be the guy and win that I called him two years out before he said he was going to run again. And, uh, and so the first bet was a hundred bucks that Trump gets the nomination and he's the escalator. Yeah. So, so, so I had everyone else in the world and he had Trump and he was right.

So now I owe him a hundred, but he asked not to be paid. So we have, so we pay less PayPal fees, let it ride're letting it ride. Yeah, we're letting it ride. And, but I am count in the interest. And then, so this next bet is $8. The next bet though, is going to be, you know, who wins the presidency. And we've got 200 on that and I've got Trump. Why would this not be a good hedge for you then? Because you seem so certain that if this fight happens,

well, all right, this kid, I don't like, yeah. I just putting the money up. I think, I think he is, but there's a chance that it's some sort of exhibition either and they're pitty padding around like, like it's agreed upon. Yeah. It's agreed upon. And I don't want, and that, cause boxing's like that. And I don't want that.

So I just don't like, I don't like betting on boxing after the Conor McGregor thing where yeah true true clearly lost the fight But he won some rounds and no one scored it that way and he was really being mistreated in there There's a lot of boxing is sketch like so always has been right. Yeah. Yeah seems sketchy One youtubers don't lose fights. It's been proven again and again The only person the YouTube loses to is another YouTuber, right? So it's like, and the other, I really like, didn't Jake Paul beat Mike Perry, the bear knuckles.

Yeah, dude, that guy's no joke. He hits like a ton of bricks and he's scared of nothing. Or maybe they call when in there, I'll give you an extra bonus. If you, if you fucking go down for me, right. That's also the alternative Well, there's more than one way to win a fight and maybe Tyson's susceptible to that same thing. Yeah. No for sure I would just I mean, yeah, he's super super old that he's always on fucking shrooms But here's what and and the antithesis of that is Jake Paul

He would Jake Paul you got someone who has a team who has a team making him a Superman He doesn't take drug tests. I promise you he's on some good shit. He's not just taking TRT and getting a little beefy. He's on some good shit. I've been driving professional athlete shit. Ivan Drago would blush. And not only that is his like fitness, uh, like routine, his boxing training, the people he trains with, like he seems very serious about being a really good boxer. I think he's gonna smoke for old Tyson. But I don't know if Tyson

can take a punch to the head anymore. He's so old. He's already taken so many. And I don't buy that heavy bag bullshit clips that you see on TikTok. I look pretty good for 15 seconds on a heavy bag. But then I'm like, and then soon it's like that thing Taylor was talking about where you hide that you're out of breath. It's like, it's like the flip one and I go, lay down on my back. Yeah, later doing like those heavy swallows. Yo, I think,

wait back in the corner of my mouth. Back in our day, right? Would you have stepped up, Woody? Because I know you were into the fighting and the MMA stuff. Would you have stepped up to any of these foos? Wait, wait. This is like at 21? Would I have stepped in with Tyson?

Back in our day, in our YouTube hey day, right? 21 was my day. Not in 10. No, you were aged back 10 years ago when everybody was doing YouTube the way that we were, when the popularity was up there, would you have done that? Like as an exhibition stuff? At the right time, yeah, yeah.

If you'd caught me in my late 30s or something back when I trained in sun, I probably would have enjoyed, you know, like getting in there. But you like, honestly, I feel like I could have participated if I wanted to in the last five or six years, you know, I could have been one of the undercards and I didn't ask for it. You should have asked, you should have asked for a one V two.

You should have asked, You should have asked. You should have asked for a 1v2. Oh yeah, you should have asked. Who were those guys in your age? You could have 1v2'd Ken Burton and Junkyard. They would have had to tag in and you would have just brutalized Junkyard. Okay, okay. You would have been like, you're ready for another Junkyard quickie bitch. Junkyard would be first. He take one look at you and Ken Burton.

He do the same thing. He always does. He show with a really strong team and beat me in two minutes. No, no, you wouldn't take it. Yeah. No, I don't know what Ken Burton looked like. Maybe he was like a secret jacked guy. I don't know. Honestly, one of my favorite like YouTube boxes of all time is Wings of Redemption. Like the showmanship when he his walk into the ring. It's not just unparalleled and unmatched.

Nobody's close. Nobody is close to what Wings of Redemption pulled off. And then the fight itself. My listeners have heard me say this, like I'm not huge on skill. I enjoy bravery. That's my thing. I don't care if it's a couple of 11 year old girls fighting in middle school. If they're going at it, I'm into it. I'm all about that. It could be for a world championship, you ever see belt, it could be over a girl in 10th grade. I want to

see this fight if these two people are angry enough and they're in it and wings of redemption showed the bravery. He was there. I, I, he, he hit on the woody metrics. I like the rap. That was so funny. Oh yeah. Yeah. And it worked dude. And getting that to getting the sound system to actually work and like, like the track to be balanced with his voice correctly on the first try like that. It came off as good as any WWE show as far as the mic balance. And he sounded good and he wasn't out of breath after walking and rapping in a high stress situation because your adrenaline's going to my heart. It was so crazy just walking out on that

stage or whatever. So then you add like the wrapping and the walking and you know, he's, he's so big like he wasn't out of breath. And I knew that's another one that I called, but we all called. We all called. We were like, look, bookies handicapped. I'm almost positive. He has a handicap placard wings is not. He's also like 10, 12 years younger.

Wings is going to stop him. And he did wings bullied. But he was in that fight, did re watching this walkout like I'm glad wings gets so much credit for this because like his like his gesturing to the crowd when he's talking about himself being the fucking Goodyear blimp or

whatever, like doing not like looking nervous straight ahead while he's doing not like looking nervous straight ahead while he's doing it, like moving his arms, being active, making like he's he kills it. He does such a good job. And then he beats the shit out of the out of the bad guy. That's a boogie who doesn't even rap. I guess that's what made him the bad guy.

He didn't rap. I guess he is a bad guy. Didn't he lie about having cancer? Yeah, he did. I totally forgot him. Dude, this stuff just gets lost in the weeds with what goes on the internet, because I'm like, yeah, in my head just then I'm like,

man, why was everybody hating on Boogie? I totally forgot. And then you just go, didn't he have a huge thing where he like knowingly lied about having cancer for an inappropriate amount of time. I think anytime someone puts themselves up as this infallible perfect person when they're inevitably not the world comes down hard on them. I feel like that's happening to Mr. Beast right now. He's the most generous, nicest, kindest guy in the world. Now it's probably not even true. I hate that I'm

amplifying it right now, but he's been tied to all these crypto scams or something. I'm not sure if it's true. You saw it too. So I don't say I don't know how true it is. But like they're saying that I heard he didn't pay for the eyes are either is connected to a bunch of pump and dumb serious coins. Like there's an article that says he doesn't he didn't pay for the eye surgeries.

Like he stiffed them or like they were sponsored? I'll be honest, I didn't read the article because I didn't want to hear bad things about Mr. Beast. Me neither. I'm like the last guy in Mr. Beast's corner. It's just he and I, he doesn't know I'm there. I'm with you. Yeah, he doesn't need to.

Like I just want it to be the right place to be. Like I haven't seen enough to paint this hero as a villain yet, and that's what people wanna do. Like, it's not just the average person. Like, that's Mike. What do you know about Mike? I don't know, he's a carpenter. No, it's Mr. Beast.

He's like a hero. He's the good guy who I was told healed the blind, but that may be shaky now. I'm not sure if he paid for the surgeries. I want you to find the article, and then I can also pretend to read it. He made it happen. Made it happen by scheduling all also pretend to read it. He made it happening. Made it happen by scheduling all those surgeries and not paying. He's a hero.

He's kind of a Robin hood. Oh, you're saying your eyes work now? Might be time for a job. Yeah. Yeah. I saw the crypto thing, but the only other, and I'm not, I'm not as plugged in as you even on the Mr. B stuff, but like the only other big controversy I heard was like he had that creep around and then seemingly Gave that guy the boot. So like what else do you want him to do? Like what what else do you want him to do? Like he oh this guy's being creepy to get out of here Yeah, like yeah got rid of the creepy person

We all got creepy people around us. Taylor could be a creep. We wouldn't know. Dressed like a wiener. How hot is it in there right now? It's not comfortable. Uh, it's the, my neck is itching a good bit because they said the face hole is one size fits most. It's not most. And so I'm getting accustomed to the glue smell.

I have to like focus to notice the glue smell now, but it's just now it's just part of my world. Get a little high. We get a little goofed up by the end of this. Gonna get a fucking headache This Chinese glue but yeah, so I don't know what's going on with mr. Beast. Hopefully he didn't do the crypto thing They're they're saying he did but who knows everybody crypto scam the deaf and the blind. What else could he manage? The lame you can make the lame. Yeah. Yeah

Give them give all these like crippled kids blade legs like that one murderer from South Africa. Is lame like a specific thing? Astorius. That's what I had in middle school I'm told. No, lame means. That's a solid joke. Sticking with lameness. Yeah. That could do something. That's mean, crippled. Yeah. I wish you'd do something for the Middle East and the wars there. Maybe he could go there and do something mean crippled. Yeah, I wish you'd do something for the Middle East and the and the and the wars there Maybe he could go there and do something fun if he could get peace in Israel and Gaza That's a good title. That would be I mr. Peace. Welcome to Palestine Palestinian kids a slingshot and a rock

Good one he could he just lean into all that stuff. I Think we did the joke where it's like I took 15 11th or I put 1500 fifth graders on little St. James Island. Dudes, speaking of, I was, as you know, in Madrid, I went on a, as soon as we got there, the wife and the kid and I don't know how, I don't know how I'm making the connection here. Uh, but there is, it just popped into my head. There was, I'm walking around looking for a shoe store, and then I see a sign that looked like a 7-Eleven sign, and I swear to you, I'm not bullshitting, okay? It said 9-Eleven.

No, the fucking sign was 9-Eleven. I couldn't believe my fucking eyes. I went to go take a picture of it, but there's people in front of it, so I'm like, fuck, I wanna look like a, so I'm like, but there's people in front of it. So I'm like, fuck, I want to look like a, so something like, all right, let me go around. And so I went around them. They were like next to a tree. So I went around the tree and then I saw I was supposed to take it. I see

that they're selling weed in there and I'm like, wait, what the fuck? So I walk inside and I'm like, and they're like, yeah, CBD Delta, the same thing that you can find here. Yeah. And I'm like, ah, let me get the gorilla glue and of course the OG Kush and, and let me get a right, let me get the gorilla glue. And of course the, the OG Kush and, and, uh, let me get a lighter. Let me get a bowl too. No bullshit. They hand me what appeared to be a crack, a cocaine bowl. You know, the ones with the bulb. Oh, an oil pie. Yeah. It's an oil pie. And I'm like, I'm like, no, no, it's for, for, uh,

for marijuana, you know? And they're like, Oh, it was like the metal one. And I'm like, uh, sure. Fuck it. Whatever. But the, anyway, I walked out of there, forgot to take a picture of it. Uh, cause I was so surprised that there were something we didn't have. Oh fuck. I haven't spoken to them a minute. It wasn't coincidental.

Was it referring to the terrorist attack? What else? Like the seven 11 means seven days a week, 11 hours a day, bro. I don't know. Okay. But, but that's how I took it. I'm like, that's, that's fucked. But you just knew you had to support this business.

But there wasn't like the mint. The, you don't even look like that. That's, I think that might be it. That might be it. You see the tree. It's Mr. Weed 9 11. That's great. You know, the Spanish, they have a great. 9 11. It's Mr. Weed. 9 11. That's great. You know, the Spanish, they have a great sense of humor.

They're just having a good time. Dude, it was the, the war in Spanish. But I'll tell you what I, I, I could not believe my eyes. And I, and I told myself, right. I'm like, I'm like, my God, am I a Patriot or am I a pot smoker and I'm like, can't be both in Spain. Gosh, it couldn't be both. And since I didn't have the will or the resources to

make a stand against this tyranny, I just bought my shit and left. It's got some. You know what? I need to think this over at the Bay of Pigs Bistro across the. At the at the ham museum., at the Hammet Museum. Yeah. The Hammet Museum. That's so funny. I wish we had a 9-Eleven convenience store here.

Do you? 9-Eleven. That would not be up for a- Would it be 9-Eleven themed inside? Yes. Yeah, it would be 9-Eleven themed. It would be really tasteful. The store would be split into two towers.

It'd be a north tower and a south tower. Like they just split it with a curtain or something like that. And then there was a secret part, sort of a building seven in the back. Yeah. Where you could buy even more. You see all the Halliburton and the CIA guys in there planning C4. I mean, if you think about that, right? Like you sort of see these new wave of creators, right? Like you, you sort of see these, these new wave of creators, right?

Like, like the convenience store creators that are constantly just recording the many characters that come into their, their, their store. Yeah. Yeah. I watched those. Yeah. Yeah. So same. You, you're, you're sort of looking something that we started as like, as like a gaming thing, creative outlet. Sure. And then obviously, you know, how you do you think we did and it went in so many different directions so many entertaining directions and now you're sort of looking at what the mundane and its popularity as it's as it's happening live I caught myself watching this this dude this chef well not chef this cook at a line cook at a diner and if you look it up right now it's this Mexican dude fucking making

42 breakfast sandwiches and he's getting paid what? $10 an hour, but making $10,000. Cause all of them are 130 to 300K views. And it's like 45 minutes of him making breakfasts, right? Yeah. How do you guys feel about that? Did you guys ever see something like that? Let me jump in? My wife loves that kind of content. She's watching a guy remodel this French chateau that yes, aren't down margin to Lord. I wouldn't know. I could ask her, uh, this thing was so

burnt down. There's almost nothing left of it. It's like a chimney or something and some brick walls. And, uh, he And he is not super competent, as far as I can tell, but you don't need to be competent to be entertaining. He just there with the sledgehammer trying to like break things and rebuild things. And she's like, apparently he's been doing this for years, but she's new on this. So she gets to see years worth of progress in the last couple of weeks. And like, you know, he's like, we discovered a secret staircase. And she's watching on my YouTube account

because I don't have ads. And so we're like flipping through, she sees a thumbnail, she's like, secret staircase, we have to watch. But I'm not gonna watch 18 minutes of people hammering and not talking. It's not the same guy that I'm talking about. My guy, Marjane Lou, lives in the mountain

in the Alps of Italy, and he's rebuilding this homestead. This guy dresses like sharp and he is not just a great like painter and artist, but he's like an excellent, apparently an excellent carpenter slash fucking contractor builder, because he in every week he uploads the progress of that and he's like it's insane how awesome that is talks maybe all right it's an hour long show talks maybe for two minutes total he just gives you quick updates right and then you look at all the other

camping stuff like four by four uh or go go yeah four by four jeep or something just a dude that goes into the Australian forest and like pulls out his Jeep, his dog, and makes a tent, makes dinner, goes to sleep, wakes up, makes breakfast, and that's the video. And hundreds of thousands of views, I watch them. I watch both of them. And I'm just getting to the point where I'm like,

man, where else is this thing gonna go? Like, is me putting up like a live camera, like feed in my office and then no audio, just music of me working and doing what the fuck I do. Like, is that, is that where this thing's going to go? It's insane. It's the same kind of content as like how it's made and why that was so fascinating for years on TV. Like the one I, in this same vein, like I don't really watch home improvement stuff, but when I get sucked in, like I'll find myself watching those Japanese sushi masters. And just like, I don't mind that like there's not even subtitles and they're just in there like with the sharpest knife on earth,

making the thinnest slices of like some fish that was explained to me in like broken English, that it's like beyond valuable. And like this hunk was, you know, 13,000 of, well, it seems like it was a lot of money, but I don't know. I don't actually know, but it's just, it's like calming. And it's fun to watch someone with a level of, or at least I like it because it's a high level of competence. I wouldn't want to see somebody hacking about like learning sushi. I want to watch like that dude,

Giro, that guy who was dreaming of sushi. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I dream. Yes. That's a really good documentary. A hundred. It is.

I've seen it. When you said gas station videos of just people working, I thought of a different video that I watched because I watch gas station security cam videos that are narrated by the guy, the clerk, the clerk will be like, look at Mr. blue pants. Oh, he's looking at some gummy bears. Oh, he likes those gummy bears. Dunny so much they're going right in the pocket.

Yeah. And can they hear this? Are they just blowing us? No, he's doing it. I'm doing a voiceover. I'm doing it after the fact. He's like, oh, and I think I'll have a few. Oh, some more gummy bears, actually.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to get a vape. And then he'll like bust them as they're going after their car, stealing his shit. He'll run out there and like, give me my shit back and like take their shit back from them. Oh, so it's just thieves. Just the thought he was making fun of a paying customer. No, no. Someone needs band-aids. Boo hoo. Just be in his shit head. Who likes gas station? There'll be like a Mexican dude walks in and be like, yeah, can I get a lighter?

The dude will give him a pink one and the, you know. Oh yes. He'll be like, yo, what the fuck? Fucking throws that shit back. Fuck out of here with the shit. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that, but it was a black guy. They do, in this neighborhood, they don't like pink lighters, that's clear.

Oh, but there were like super gay, like the zestiest of black guys. And they gave him a pink lighter and he's like, yeah. And I liked it. Did they just have a glut of pink lighters or was this guy trying to be annoying? Oh no, he was trying to get a reaction. Oh my God, did you see the art?

So I don't know this guy, I've never heard of him before, but this streamer went to South Korea and it doesn't even make sense what he said, but basically he challenged all the men of South Korea to like swing on me like bring it I'm not scared of you you pussies like and his brothers with him his brother's like yeah I wish a motherfucker would and they're just like it doesn't make any sense like maybe maybe there's some context I missed but he's basically saying like come at me bro swing on me dude he's been there for a week and he's been known so many times he's been assaulted okay every day as he's

live-streaming walking down the streets someone finds him and you just see a Korean guy pretend like he's normal and then like get like a running start like in a movie and deck him to the ground he's got bandages on his head now and he like walks outside bandages on his head now and he like walks outside with bandages on his head and some random guy immediately takes him out. Immediately some guy takes him out and doesn't run away, stays for the cops and goes to jail. Doesn't give a fuck. He's like, I came to hit you.

That's very, that's a very Korean way to commit an assault is punch someone in the side of the head and then like get a coffee and wait for the police to come up and be like, I did the break of the law. It's on the justice served subreddit, I think. And there's like a quick montage of him getting decked maybe four different times by just random Korean men. What was he saying at all of Korea? He's like, fuck all of you.

You won't stop me from mocking your country, whatever. Yeah. He said something. He's like, I remember him saying. You won't, you won't stop me from there was less than your country, whatever. Yeah. He said something as he's like, I remember him saying, I'm a sociopath. I don't give a fuck. I'll make fun of people's culture for clout. I'm a, I'm a piece of shit. I'll admit it. So swing on me, bring it. I'm not scared. Like he literally said almost verbatim that and, uh, and so South Korea said that South Koreans don't play. they've been whooping his ass all week. This guy is an American making it. God. Yeah.

Damn it. It was funny. Like at the beginning, his brother was like, I wish he, I wish somebody would, I'd be on them like that. And I swear to God, the timing is so good. Immediately somebody decks the brother and the one who was just saying how he, how he'd be there was like And this Korean man ran away and the night so we're getting a lot of content But I'm losing a lot of hearing in my left ear

They should knock me in the eye They should they should knock him out and just like push his body over that line into the north I Bet I bet he cuts that out right quick Jong-un isn't gonna be having it Yeah, dude, I saw a video of a really the South Korean soldier Who's who's captured by the South Korea by the Ukrainians? I guess and he's bandaged up like a horror movie victim. Like his whole head is a big, and it's not clean bandages.

They're like a little yellowish and blackened in some places. And you can see like one eye, and he's speaking in North Korean, or Korean, maybe it's probably the same. So I have no idea validating the captions, but he's basically like, we were used as meat. We didn't, we didn't have good guns. We didn't have good ammo. We were told we would at least have shovels. There were no shovels. It's like the worst trip ever.

Like he says they were just kind of thrown in with illiquid. You think they like got to ask questions first where they're like, Kim Jong-un's like, all right, you're all going to Russia, a great country that has centuries of battle victories and you're going to be a part of it. Like, yeah, I'm sure they got fired up. How did they win? How did they win all their battles? Oh, great one. Certainly not just throwing piles of ill-equipped bodies at enemies by the millions. Definitely not that. That would be the worst country to get thrown on the front lines by, like from the Soviets to the Russian Empire to whoever. Seems like the only way they win is just brute amount of guys.

Does Russia have any losses? Afghanistan, I can think of. Who else? Oh, I just was meaning like they'd probably, they try and pump up their World War II victory Does Russia have any losses Afghanistan I can think of who else oh I just was meaning like they'd probably they try and pump up their world war two victory the way we do as well And so they'd be like hanging their hat on that. I get it I'm just thinking like but they win I want Russia to lose in Ukraine and they just seem to be they seem to be winning I mean, they just don't fight a lot of wars either according to the propaganda. I watch They're paying brutally and about to quit any day now.

Oh, yeah. Just another check. We're a chip away from Russia being defeated, surely. Surely this time. Yeah, I don't know about that, but I don't think it's super one-sided. The Ukrainians are killing a lot of people. They're just killing so many people and blowing up so much shit. It's crazy. It's crazy that the Russians are okay with it. Like on a really bad day, the Russians will lose like 13,000 people, right?

So there's like four 9-11s that day. And- Really? They're having- So many. Yeah. I can fact check it. No, I mean, I'm not, I don't know.

They just so many- Don't seem to get demoralized. They never think about pulling out. I don't think there's it's even an option and all those guys signed up. I also I saw a cell phone video of like, I don't know, a Russian commander hyping all of his troops up for the battle to come. And he's like, you signed up for this. Would you rather be back in your prison cells? Would you rather be, you know, working a job in the mine?

You signed up for this. So take what you signed up for, like a man. We're going out there tomorrow and we're going to kill. And it was like, dude, I am not getting hyped up by this at all. Either. It was such a downer speech. I mean, I wouldn't want to live in Russia or North Korea. No.

I mean, if I had to pick one, Braves danced. Yeah. Cause there's millions of people who would. There's, I think there's people from countries way worse than Russia. There's, there was a famous, we're just from like a country way better than Russia. Early in the Ukrainian conflict, there was this dude, maybe from Texas. He looked like it.

This big old fat hillbilly dude who was like, I'm going to go fight with the good guys. And he joined like some Russian unit or whatever. They genuinely raped him and murdered him. From an American joined the Russian side. Yeah. You think how funny would it be if it's like an honest-to-god translation error? He bought a ticket to the wrong city Oh, there's a lot of eyes and K's and goopy new maps. I figured he was he was blogging about it like the whole time

He was one of those guys. He was he was all about who raped and killed him There's Russian comrades thought he was a spy so they raped and killed him. Mmm. Oh Mmm. Yeah, was he a liar? No, that's the thing. He was I mean, it's real like a word big fat ugly guy Yeah, like um, who's the guy that got raped in deliverance? Ned Beatty. Yeah, not far from that, right? Well those guys so I always read into that rape scene as that those hillbillies had mostly been having sex with actual pigs. And so Ned Beatty was the man who most resembled a pig. John Boyd's over there kind of twinkish. Burt Reynolds is over there. Like, I mean, he's the man amongst you. He's looking

slick. I use the one I'd pick if I'm going to Get after somebody but Ned Beatty's over there looking a little bit fat and pink like a real pig And then when they molest him he says squeal like a pig. I think so he can get hard I think he needs to hear that so he can like either get hard or get off and so that and you know That's the the the front always right. I know that I know it's not a funny movie But the funniest part of the movie is like after all that horror, like they're just canoeing again. It's like, a hot one, huh? Not as many mosquitoes for this time of year. A bunch of a bunch of fucking crazy rednecks molested me in the woods and you guys saw and you guys were like,

Taylor, get on the canoe. We got to get out of here. I'll be like, I'll I'll get the next one. I'll get the next canoe. You guys know we got to go because they're still out there. Now I got to look in the water and like really repractice eye contact. That would be so rough. We carry your secret for you. Don't worry.

We would do exactly what they did. We would. Woody would immediately on the show next week be like, so Taylor was molested by a bunch of crazy Woodland people. We still love them. We still love them the same.

He didn't really fight back that hard. Yeah. It was when you started pushing back into it and I was like, what the fuck? When he started looking back at it, that's that's rough. I made him keep going cause I hadn't come yet. I've only seen that movie twice, but it is fucking rough. I remember I watched it. It was on TV,

like broadcast TV when I was maybe 14 and I caught it. And I think maybe they edited it so much that I could tell. And so I had to rent it then. And then I watched it. And I haven't watched it since then, since I was 15 or 16. Wow. That's a rough movie. It is. It's not uplifting. You've only seen it once? Once or twice. I've only seen it once. Definitely haven't seen it three times. But I've seen some clips of it but I've never seen it start to finish. It's pretty good. It's a pretty good movie. It's pretty good movie. You've got three Atlanta boys heading out in the country going to do a little canoeing.

Billy Bob's in it, yeah? No, no, it's Burt Reynolds, John Voight and Ned Beatty. They're the main three Atlanta guys who go out to the country to do the canoeing. And then all the rednecks are nameless ghouls from Rabin County, Georgia. Am I crazy or is there a fourth that dies early? You are crazy.

Oh! I'm almost positive there's only three of them. fourth that dies early. You are crazy. Let me, I might, I might, I might muster up the courage to watch that. It's good. Um, I mean we've spoiled it a little bit, but there's a lot of like terror and fear, like getting out of there. And then like, uh, I mean, it's just, it's, it, it, it'll make you feel some type of way. What do you always talks about? He wants a movie to make him feel a feel something and like I'm impressed like a movies that do that fucking deliverance will do that to you Yeah, like I've never going canoeing

At least not there not that's where I'm from too like that's like 40 minutes north like we'd go up there all the time Like around rate, it's Raven County, Georgia. Yeah, you didn't even realize what a sweet little treat you were to those weed swallers peering at you, leering at you all day, just swimming around, splashing around little Kyle. I'm right. There was another character in it that died in deliverance. Yeah.

Don't remember. His name is Drew, I looked into it. Is he blonde too? Dirty blonde? He is carrying an extra arrow in his bow and after he releases the arrow that hits the hillbilly He falls backwards and lands on that extra arrow accidentally impaling himself I thought John that was John Voight. Do I mess it up? Am I still wrong? Maybe I'm still wrong I thought that was John Voight's character

It doesn't matter either way really good old movie with one of the most, there's two rape scenes, two or three rape scenes that I think of that in movies that have been just like, holy fuck. Uh, pulp fiction is the one that's just like, and then because the music's going to now, now, now, now, now, that one's stressful because the whole time I'm like, Bruce, get the lead out. Like, come on, get down there. Bruce is being all sneaky, he's like. Yeah.

I don't realize how close this poor guy is to having his butthole plundered by a bunch of weirdos in this base. Oh, he's already getting plundered. I remember the part that I feel bad about, I'm imagining you're down there, Taylor, they got you bent over the thing, and I'm coming back with the sword.

It's like, I'd hurry it up there at the end when I see you're getting plowed. I'm like, I'm gonna save you as many strokes as I can. Bruce had hustled. He could have saved the Ving Rhames at least three pumps. Yeah. You wouldn't have burst in faster and say, well, I mean, I had to come in and save you. Um, and I also would have picked the Katana. I think everyone would. Um, I think it was the best weapon available, but, uh, It'd be a tragedy if you went down there and then you centipede it, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yes. They knock you out and you wake up also being molested. And I'm like, wow, well, at least, you know, misery loves company. We're both in the know. Now we're both down here. You look at it and say, this really sucks, huh? You come in and like, you like don't even respond right away. You're like, what the hell's going on in here? Yeah. Doesn't feel good, man. This is we're fine. I'm looking for my friend. You don't get it. Yeah, that was a stressful one. The ones in Oz

are stressful. I've never seen that show. Don't, don't, don't. This has been a, we've done this show many times. It is a powerful, well acted, amazing HBO drama about a guy going to prison for like vehicular homicide and thrown into the animals of like the worst of the worst. And there's so much man on man rape and mutilation and degradation. And dude, I watched that shit right before I got into all my legal trouble.

And so I had that like in the back of my, and dude, it's such a downer. I've never watched, there's no redeeming quality to that. Like I think of something like Game of Thrones where you'd have those really low lows, like red wedding, like your favorite character's getting murked, but then you'd have like your high highs where like a, you know, we'd get on Dragon or we'd burn the Slave Masters.

That show had no high highs. It had nothing. It just it's you think you've bottomed out and then someone get they were like shit on the guy's face. Like, or there's finally a high like, oh, things are turning around or the guy that we're rooting for is having something good. Nope. They pulled the rug out. It was all an act. They were trying to make him,

they couldn't hurt him while he was low. So they had to lift him a little bit to drop him again. Yeah, and they're barely lifting them. It's horrific. It's horrific beyond horrific. I'm gonna spoil the last episode. The last episode is the main character is getting, he's leaving prison, dude.

He's finally done with all this evil. And at this point, got a boyfriend it's the actor from law and order svu the main guy stabler who's got a little receding airline um that's his boyfriend and that guy is like you're leaving me for the real world i don't think so and he goes no no don't do it and then he throws himself off the top of the like stack to his own death thereby framing Beacher our main character for a murder and he's never getting out of hell and it's just like this is how you I wish I'd never seen this there's there's no sense of victory you finish that show and you're like ah I'm worse off for having seen this. It's no Ted Lasso is what you're saying.

It's season four of Ted Lasso. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. My wife and I love Ted Lasso. I watched the first episode or two. It's not his thing, but we thought it was literally one of the greatest comedic shows ever been on television. Feels good. Literally one of the greatest comedic shows ever been on television. So it feels good the most feel-good Show I've ever seen in my life. I'm a little worried the fourth season can't keep doing what they were doing I felt like they ended it at the peak if the fourth season continues to rise like the first three did

I'll be have pleasantly surprised. Yeah, I did it wasn't that I liked everything I saw but there at the end when you see just how sad And pitiful and pathetic his character is I think he listens to a voice message from his wife or something like that After he's had a day of being treated like garbage and he smiled and been positive through every insult slight and And just disrespect throughout the whole day He smiled and had a good attitude about it. And then he gets back alone in his hotel room. And on top of it all, his wife, I can't remember what it was, but it was something sad.

It was like, you're a loser, maybe. Or like, you know, what do you know? You're a loser and your your kids don't respect you. It was like some mean shit. You can't have a character arc if you start on top, bro. It started so low. I didn't want to jump on board that train I do like that It has the big bitch that big blonde bitch from Game of Thrones in it

Not the ugly one Taylor the one that played the nun who said shame with the bell That that woman you couldn't tell in the Game of Thrones, but she's a hottie and she's huge She's like as big as Brianne probably she's she's over six feet. Um, and and she's she's pretty pretty in that show She's a lady that says shame shame. Yeah Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's take a look. She's like a uh, Former trophy wife like an old aged out replaced trophy wife in that show Yeah, yeah, I I like her more than um that guy that plays ted lasso because i'm a little Tired of his shtick of just being the nice guy who's kind of out of his element.

He does that and everything. But look, I'm not trying to shit on Ted Lasso. I will watch the show for you, because I think a lot of the shows you like, they don't tend to be all sugar, right? Like Kyle likes a meat dinner, not a sugar dinner. And Ted Lasso is smarties, man. That show is just brainless fun good energy and funny

yeah and i enjoyed it my wife did but kyle likes you know sopranos same you know what's coming back is from from already has it's back right yeah it's it's been back there's several episodes i haven't touched it yet i'll let them put the whole season out and I'll touch back with it. And Silo season two, I think that's being made. I saw a trailer for that and I'm pumped for that. I thought Silo was one of my favorite shows. I haven't watched it yet. Silo is on Apple TV. It's really neat. I won't spoil anything but essentially the society lives underground in a silo with multiple levels and a class system built in. And for some reason their history has been erased and no one's sure how long they've been there because there was an uprising where one side deleted

the records that was part of the like this big purge and so no one's sure how long they've been there and no one's really sure why they're there. Just that upside is poison. And- Yeah, to explain, Kyle, the outside is said to be deadly. So everyone stays inside and it's not a very pleasant place to be inside. But if outside's death, you don't go there. But the show, there's just one season or two so far.

There's one season so far. And it goes back and forth on whether the outside is really poison. Sometimes you're like, Ooh, I figured it out. It's fine out there. And other times you're like, wait a minute, that evidence was false. Yeah. I haven't picked it up yet. It's been highly recommended by different people. Uh, and I just haven't gotten around to it. I'm so afraid it's going to get canceled like,

cause it's one of those shows where it's a cliffhanger at the end of season one like the end of season one you're like I need some more this oh let's see I think they might even open a door or something like do a thing where it's like if they were like what's behind this and it's like see you next year maybe yeah I remember what they show but I don't want it it would be a big spoiler to say yeah I do too I didn't want to spoil it oh it's a it's a really good show I like that type that type of shit. It reminded me of fallout a lot It reminded me of fallout a lot how you'd have people in the vaults who had

weird political systems and and and lots of fascism lots of ignorance and forced ignorance and lots of history being rewritten in a way such that only the upper echelon knows what's really going on kind of Twilight Zone style And fallouts the other show like I'm sure you saw fallout. I'm psyched for another season of that. Yeah, thank I didn't play the game ever ever Damn, dude. I only play missing out. Yeah It was pretty fun. That's the only one I like. They're so old now.

Like, like, I think me and most people who are fallout fans think Fallout New Vegas is the peak. It was made by Obsidian, not Bethesda. And it's got a really dark story where there's like child molestation and murder. There's like rape and evil. And the wasteland is a scary place. And it's it's a deep long game. You're a courier going to New Las Vegas to write some wrongs.

And by the end of the game, you decide who rules the wasteland. The rest of them are made by Bethesda. And the stories are rather simple. It's usually go find your dad or go find your son. They've been kidnapped. And the twist will always be your dad is your son or your son is your dad or your dad's not your dad. He's an evil dad or actually he is your dad, but he's not your real dad. He traveled through time. Now you're a ghoul. And some of the factions in Fallout 4, like I would, I'd be like

waiting there for them, like the Institute. I'm like, ah, I'm finally in the Institute. There's like white, uh, these like scientists, uh, white coat style guys. And, um, you know, everyone hates them. Everyone thinks they're evil on the surface and everything. And I'm like, well, I bet this is going to be one of those twists about how the Institute is actually the good guys. And so I'm excited to see how they orchestrate this and make all the kind of things twist into place. And then like you're sitting there waiting for the monologue to end and the main guy, the Institute's like, of course we're evil. You know, we enjoy harming people. It's something we do. You know, the thought that they deserve life is fanciful and always justify

the means of course. Their suffering is but a bit to pay for the future. Yeah. And it's like, oh, this is like, like they didn't even try. Yeah. I immediately shoot that guy in the alarm sounds. Oh, yeah. I put him down quick. And I was like, are they giving you the most? They give you the dumbest choices in that game, if I'm being honest. We're like, all right, do you want to join this faction

of a bunch of retards in the Underground Railroad who give you nothing like leather armor? Or do you want to join the robot Giant manufacturer. Oh, yeah, you've really done a good job setting up a difficult question here in the late game Do I want the robot armor or a new hat? Like there's no reason to ever not go robot armor mode. Yeah, but to answer your question Yeah, it's worth playing four is the one that's easiest to just hop in and go and have a self-contained Fallout adventure story. It's in Boston

There's some newer games fallout 76 is like this weird multiplayer ham scram of a game where you almost it almost needs to be your second or third fallout so that you're Accustomed to the world and I don't even care for it New Vegas is the best story and everything but it's old and to really play New Vegas You need to play modded New Vegas. You need to at least fix all the bugs and there's like a big Overall mod that fixes all the textures and all the bugs and all the nonsense at the very least you have to do that To like just play that game, but it's it it's my favorite I like I like that universe a lot I haven't played Call of Duty at all last year I didn't play last year's like maybe in the beginning for like a month

this this this release we had the 24-7 out of the hex quarters prestige hunt or what do you call it a race of siege. But I haven't had any true excitement or want to play it until today. When the prestige finished and it was all like done, all said and done. And I'm like, oh, you know what? I think this weekend I'm gonna put in some time and then really we have the NASCAR thing this weekend.

So maybe next Monday and then Monday. What are you doing with NASCAR? Once a year for the last two years, we have wrapped a NASCAR. We partnered with Spire Sports, Spire Motorsports. So we wrapped the car in an Optic and this year it's no different. Yeah.

Cool. Very cool. Man, you guys are. That's so cool how you're in. Yeah. That looks awesome. That's last year's. That's like you're throwing out pitches at like MLB games.

You're going to the NBA games, NFL. Like that's awesome. How like looped in you guys are. That's a good looking car. And it's good for gaming as a whole. Like that just being affiliated in that way, lends so much credibility to the industry. I didn't know they looked like that. Now backstage access.

I don't know the term. Oh yeah. Like are you hanging out on pit road? Absolutely. That's this year's. That's cool. I went to a MLG Raleigh gaming event and because I was with hex, I was like special, like I'm VIP in all day.

The way I was special when I went to the, to the paintball stuff with you guys in Rockford. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We got to, we got to stay in the back room with the air conditioning. Yeah. Which is pretty dope actually.

It's a big deal. Yeah. That doesn't sound like a big deal until you were like there and we'd leave the air conditioned room and see everyone who didn't have AC. Oh. Wearing a garden paint. Had a winter sweater in 95 degrees Chicago summer. We'd leave the air-conditioned room and see everyone who didn't have a Winter sweater in 95 degrees Yeah, I'll go summer like yeah

Then all these like 13 year olds are out there like walking a trail of tears to get Like how hot it is to get to the field and that they were you know, it was an event So like water was probably three fucking dollars or something like that. I think they had water fountains though I know they had water fountains actually that are just free to, to grab water so nobody dies. But, um, yeah. And the, and the land of the blind, the one ad man is King. That was a day to have air conditioning. That was, that was a rough fucking day. That one kid sitting out there on the asphalt. I'll never forget. Okay.

I came back from playing hard. I came back from playing hard and I was wiped and every piece of equipment is glued onto me with sweat and I'm peeling it off and the air feels so good and I'm thinking about how hot and thirsty I am. And I look through these double swinging doors that have the glass in them. And this poor fan kid is out there. And he's-

It's a human stray dog out there. It's a human stray dog out there. And he's got this homemade suit made out of duct tape because he you know paintball equipment's expensive and he made his own and it worked and But he's really hot black asphalt in the in the 95 degree sun It must have been burning his ass and I'm just like there's nobody helping this kid Open the door. I'm like, hey buddy, you need something to drink. And you ever see somebody, you hand them a drink and they do the whole drink and one thing because they genuinely needed liquid.

It's like, it's like, I wasn't just thirsty. I required hydration. Do you remember what like, what Frodo's lips looked like on Mount Doom? That's how dry this guy was. This cracker. I can't imagine anything hotter than a duct tape vest in the sun. That was a good kid. That's awful. He always brought us gifts when we'd go to events.

He came to two different events at two different parks. Shout out to that guy. His mom did something where they made custom cups or they monogram for companies like if you wanted your logo on a cup they did that and so he had all these like reject cups to give us he like broke in this big box of coffee cups with other companies logos and I was like you want and I was like you know what yeah give me that one and I still have one of his one of his coffee cups to this day.

Was it just like mislabeled like Bass Pro Shop? No, it was like the one I took was actually a I think they're made of copper or brass or something. But it was a kettle one like so that you can drink maybe white Russians or something out of. Oh, yeah. It was one of those. I've never had a Moscow mule. No, nor will I. But whenever the dishwasher is completely full, we go to that copper cup. You just drink the can you're like, oh man my milk tastes awful out of this. Pepsi is all metallic. I've had a one of those it not white Russian. I'm not so I've had a Moscow mule before this Moscow's and this Moscow mules Is that the whole thing? It's it's it's not my thing. I'm not I'm not a big cocktail guy I did old-fashioned or rum and coke, please. That's it. No fancy. Yeah

No matter where I unless I go to a winery or something like with a group of friends Like I pretty much always just get like beer. Dude, do you ever do a wine testing and get shitty? Uh, oh, it's definitely not get wine. If you want to go if anyone listen, if you want to go on a great like afternoon date with your girlfriend, go to a wine tasting at a winery and you pay by how many like glasses you're going to consume. So like there's sliding scale. And the big one is like, oh my God, we're gonna get 80 sips of wine.

And it's not a sip, they give you like a quarter of a glass. They really, it adds up generous. Yeah, and each one is different. And we hit the dessert wines first thing. And I'm shitty by like 10 minutes into this thing already. And by the time I've had like 40 sips of wine, which is like I don't know eight probably like eight nine glass is legit like we're just wandering the vineyards having a great time It was such a beautiful day

Yeah, this experience is so incredible. I don't like drinking. I hate it I don't like it at all, but I didn't want to miss out on the experience I was in Nice in France. I think it's pretty nice and we did a Terror attack there where they crushed the children. Mm-hmm. I was uninvolved in that one And yeah, anyway, they just I like and praying this thing ends and I get to stop drinking but I wanted to have the experience of a wine tasting tour and nice. And I did it. Now, we're there. We're there. And it's over.

There's a good six, eight years. You just you never found a wine that you were like, oh, that's pretty. You know what? I found wines I disliked more or just like less. Like the ones that were like really fruity, I guess. The deserty kind. I liked Like the ones that were like really fruity, I guess, the deserty kind, I liked more. The ones that were, I don't know, do they try to make wine smell like used sweat socks? Like, that wasn't my cup of tea.

I've been like fooled, because I'm not a wino. I don't really know that much about it at all. But like I've been at wine tastings before where like someone guides you a little bit and they're like, now try this after and afterward or before whatever the order is like eat this cheese or like this cheese and meat combo or something. And then when they like explain to me kind of the complexity I'm supposed to get, I'm like, oh, I kind of, okay, I get why this goes with this. But I also might just be

getting fooled because everybody else is agreeing and I don't want to be like, nah, fucking dumb, dude. I don't taste it. Dude, if I look at the can of V8, I can taste every ingredient that is, there's the tomatoes, the celery, the beets. I got it. Yeah, I see it. I tasted it. Ah, the phosphorus to prevent clumping. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those preservatives. Yeah. So I, you're right, Kyle. Like I have fun memories of going wine tasting, but it's also just like, it's because it was an awesome day. It's almost all outside and you're with a bunch of your buddies and it's like 2 p.m. And you're less like borderline trashed because yeah, it gets you so quick because they're like try this one and it's like now try this you know

What this one I didn't like this one very much and they're like, well then try this one It's like okay, you do that a few times and you're like I need to hit the fucking cracker and meat there I need to fill up. I need to get some mass and there are no classy people there spitting them out. Ew, no. Oh, I've never seen that in a wine. Oh, I've seen that is disgusting. Just just drink less wine. Don't spit it out.

Don't make everyone sit and sit right here. Same reason like dip spit is disgusting. Yes. Bring that around me. Don't do that. Use in the technology is there. There's no excuse anymore for your dip spit. I hate it.

Or for some spit that out. No, you still spit out the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,in, the technology's there. There's no excuse anymore for your dip spit. I hate it. Or for spitting it out. You still spit out the Zin? I just swallow it. The Zin doesn't make spit. And so you just leave it in, and then when you're done with it, you take it. Wait, you put those in your mouth? Yeah. It's like an upper decker,

because the kids call it. They're not anal? You can put it in your ass. Is that on the package? I didn't see that. I bet it would work. I know it would work. Yeah, I bet it would work. I know it would work. Yeah. Fuck you. Good. You boof. I was like, I could guarantee you it works. It's a little bit better. No, I didn't.

It's like so fucking popular. Every, every male I know uses Zen. Really? The upper deckers, man. It's a thing. Wait, upper decker means something different to me. It was the day when I was in high school. Yeah. It meant like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like? The upper deckers, man. It's a thing. Wait, upper decker means something different to me. It was the day when I was in high school. Yeah. It meant like shitting in someone's toilet in the tank.

The wrong way, which is like in the tank, right? In the tank. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like so so unbelievably sinister. It is vile. Out of order, you're not not gonna find it for so long. And like, I don't know what would happen, but I'm imagining maybe you'd take a piss and flush and shitty water would just come through

and you'd be like, what? What was what? What the fuck, Melvin Ritchie? But wouldn't two flushes handle it? Is it bad? So I'm imagining that you poop in there and then it sits in there all day and then it sort of like decomposes and really

poisons the whole tank of water and so when it's disturbed and most of the water leaves but not all so that next batch of water is is equally disturbed almost it's just just every flush i feel like you're getting shitty water until somebody opens the tank and and fishes out whatever whatever feces remains. I've never known someone to actually do. No. As far as I know, the upper decker prank is largely a myth. I know so many people who did ridiculous pranks growing up.

And that was always something you heard about. Never once heard of it, Don. I get the Saram wrap on the toilet, right? And then you drop the lid so they're pissing into the thing Yeah, but I also don't Don't fully subscribe to believe in into somebody being like like that funny, you know, cuz it's not right You know, so like think of like, all right I go to Kyle's house and I'm like I'm gonna upper-decker this fool

I have to like go in his bathroom, take my pants all the way off, like take the top of the toilet off, like kind of hover because that would be too sharp on my butt. Like all the edges. Imagine losing your balance. You're standing on the lid. What the hell's going on? You hear like the tank rattling as I'm sitting on it. And then I have to take a shit and then like amble down and then wipe and then flush and then flush the amount of effort. I 40 minutes later when I come out, what are you flushing? Really?

I don't, I don't know. I don't know. I couldn't put the toilet paper in the top. Right. Oh, that's even better. Actually. Yeah. Go ahead.

Why not? Yes. That's even better. It'll make more of a mess. So that is like, right. Yeah, go ahead. Why not? Yes. That's even better. It'll make more of a mess Right in I mean I think you almost have to break and enter to pull a real Decker I could never do it to a friend of mine. I guess if like a good friend of mine upper deck I don't know who's been here. I'd be like, you know, you're a longer welcome here. This is friendship ending. That's despicable Either either in brand new high quality toilet of my choosing is delivered,

installed, finished a day or your, your partner. This my life is over. That's a biological attack. I would be so goddamn upset. It is. That's the form of terrorism. Imagine how bad the room would stink. Just, just, and you never find out and you never like. Palestinian toilets. I went to look what happens with an upper decker.

There's a guy on Reddit who's done over 100 upper deckers. He wrote his story and I could read it to you. It's about 60 seconds long. Yeah, tell us. I want to hear it. Okay. This is an art confession. I've done probably over 100 upper deckers at this point

and I won't be stopping anytime soon. For those not familiar with the upper deckers, when you take the lid off the toilet tank and shit in there and leave a giant nasty clogger in the toilet bowl, the result is that every time the toilet bowl refills from the tank, it will be dirty shit water. I started in middle school, all the way through high school

and at least a couple months growing up. I've done it at jobs I hated, restaurants that gave me bad service, a couple ex-girlfriends places and a buddy's place at a house party in my college dorms. I've done it in public bathrooms sometimes just for the hell of it. It's so satisfying knowing someone's going to have a giant fucking clogger and be disgusted by something that didn't flush so now they'll have to look at it and smell it. They'll flush it themselves only for the bowl to be filled with dirty shit water again. And it's one of those industrial toilets for public restrooms.

It'll likely splash the water a bit too. And hopefully they'll get shit water on them. Then they'll flush it again and again, but until they clean my shit out of the toilet tank, it will never really be clean. God, it's so fucking funny. I can't even imagine the look on someone's face. I heard about my upper deckers when I was in school and how long they were looking for the culprit.

The principal was furious, but they never caught me despite their best efforts. The boss at my first job, he was furious too. There were no cameras, so they couldn't tell who was doing it. The best part is because everyone refused to do it. He had to clean it himself. I broke that already smug, arrogant asshole of a man that made him lose his mind

until he up and quit his job because he got tired of dealing with someone else's shit for once. The RA at my student dorms became a more unrepentant asshole. People thought he was doing it himself just to have an excuse to crack down on people. He became so disliked they made him step down as an RA and put someone else at his place. You know the fucked up part? I still didn't stop doing upper deckers.

At my second job, they held meetings and reviewed the camera footage. They even had supervisors do walkthroughs to look at people's boots to see who was in there periodically. I never got caught. No one suspected it was me, not a soul. At my friend's house party, he kissed a girl I'd just started dating. I was so furious, I immediately went into his bathroom and unleashed the floodgates. Due to being drunk and eating greasy food,

it was pure sludge. I did all of it in the toilet tank. Every sweet drop of putrid ass juice went in there. I left the toilet clean and hurt the screen of a girl. I went into pee flush. No one knew it was me. One time I got tomatoes at Jimmy John's when I asked for none, upper decker. One time they got the order wrong from McDonald's drive-thru, upper deck.

The bartender fucked up my drink upper decker. Ex-girlfriend pissed me off, used her spare key and I knew about an upper deck. Another girl broke up with me because she was crazy. She is. I can't stop and I won't stop. So you fuck with me, you know what's coming to you upper deck. So we got to lock this guy up. What state does he live in? It's been found. Are we safe? I hope we're safe. Man, like what kind, what group of retards does he associate with where he's like,

Oh, someone just upper decked Todd's house at the party. That's crazy. Someone upper decked, uh, Jeremy's work and Jeremy's other work and the school Jeremy went to and Jeremy's ex-girlfriends and his other ex-girlfriend. This is not a group of Sherlock's. He's hanging out here because I hope he's exaggerating and pumping his resume because that's disgusting. You wouldn't allow me to want to allow the campaign trail. That doesn't happen. Yeah.

So that, that's disgusting. That guy should probably go to jail. You got to shut that down. You can't do biological warfare for sure. It is and catch infections from feces. The longer they fester, the worst they get. Yeah. It's a biological toilet, criminal misuse of a toilet. And he's also doing it at like fucking Jimmy John's.

Some like high school kid has to go clean his ass juice out of a toilet tank. Tomatoes on my hamburger when I ordered none. Upper decker. Wow. Man. I would quit a job over that. Wouldn't you? Like if you had like a Jimmy John's job, I'm not, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that over that. Wouldn't you? Like if you had like a Jimmy John's job. I'm not, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Yeah. I'm not doing that.

I hope nobody finds this guy and like savagely beats him. That would be awful. That would be awful. No, no, not that. This guy's just having fun pulling pranks. That's so mean spirited. That's such a terrible, terrible thing. Like, man, I could never do that to someone.

Me either. Even someone I just liked. There's no way I could do it. Oh, why not? I could totally do it. Because you'd picture them, like you'd think about whoever was actually cleaning it and it's probably not even the person you're mad at in most instances. Okay.

Well, like in that situation, then yeah. But if it's just an individual, like if it's a man who lives alone and I'm going to go give him an upper decker, he's cleaning that shit up. Literally. Yeah, but yeah, that's it happened on the ultimate. I upper deck you, you clean it. And then you tell them how many years problem. When would you tell them?

So you wouldn't know it was me, Taylor. I fly there. Okay. I would sneak into your home on a day when you break into my house and when you were told I would, I would, I would be like, what do you do about like a spare key because I know I keep mine under like a an old shingle you'd be like ah yeah there's a little Eskimo outside my house he's got next thing you know I'm in there upper decking you and flying back to Atlanta I got delta miles dude you don't even know I got like eight million of them I'd be so perplexed

just come home why you vlog the whole thing and then send it to them on a YouTube channel. Yeah, but I'm wearing a mask. I'm a man scrubbing out my toilet. I start making money. Being the upper decker cleaner, like those sushi chefs. Yes. You thought no one could get you, did you, Taylor? I have befouled your plumbing. What Reddit was that on?

Like professions. I have befouled your plumbing. What what what? Reddit was that on like sessions are good. I'm glad there's not an upper decking subreddit like all to its own There could be Although you guys you guys are pretty very I probably know about it You probably know if it was I'd browse through it. That'd be funny, but I'm surprised There's not a shit bandit subreddit because that to me seems like more of a ubiquitous real thing We know that people write silly letters and shit and just smear shit on walls It's it it's I have never in my life had the inclination to do any such thing So the fact that someone else like never considered it. It's yes, like that's a possibility like you've The worst the worst that I would ever do, right?

Would be like not flush, but it's in the toilet. Yeah. I'm not retrieving the poo. Yes. No, that's, it's just not, not a, not something that I would do. Not even as a vengeful, maybe it's a vengeful thing, but not upper decker, right?

Like just leave it in there. So ha ha, right? But grabbing your shot, like the last thing you want to do is like touch it. So for you to grab it and then smear it, like that's, that's a little bit, you, you, yeah. It's a certain kind of person. Right. I think everybody at their high school fire in that activity. I'm catching some strays like, like I don't want to grab him. I'm,

I got a couple of gloves now. Was there a poop prankster or anything like that at your high school hacks? Not that I've heard of. no. Never heard of it? No, no, no, no. Maybe it's not as common. No, there was, I've heard of it, right? But like in a public setting, like what was it? I think it was like a driver's insurance place in Chicago somewhere.

I don't know, I'm getting a glimpse of the past, but there was somebody that did that. And he had to have been like, you know, not right up there in order to do something. I think it's, I think it's oftentimes you've got a vendetta against the business or maybe even the janitor. Like if you knew that somebody was going to like, you could, I could see someone doing it, but just doing it like Taylor had a guy in his school who was just doing it. He was just like smear and shit on the walls. The love of the game, man. For the love of the game. It's like I

Have a game. Yeah, he was a real a Real loon when it came to poop stuff and he was like I've mentioned before so I'll keep it quick but like he was in like the more special ed class thing and And so he had a handler and he would just slip. He'd just slip the handler. His handler must have known. How can you be the shit bandits handler and not know? That's like.

He didn't have like a mental, as far as I could tell, like he didn't have like a developmental issue. He was just like a, like a badly behaved kid. That's awful. Yeah. Do you have a party to get to they said? I do. There's a, there's a, the, the yearly, uh, neighborhood, uh, Halloween party. Oh shit. We'll enjoy. Thank you.

I do have a confession talking about our Reddit confessions. Uh, Woody, I was carrying you all came with a plan yesterday that I was going to make you feel bad for missing yesterday. So the story that I told about all that bullshit for a second, I thought to myself, maybe I'll confess next year. Damn. And also it was that none of that was true. I'm glad that's not true. Pleasure.

Yeah. Thank you for coming. I appreciate it. It's good. All right, guys. All right. Well, the next thing we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors. I have to turn my whole head like a neck injury victim or my, or it'll

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I cannot find a happy temperature in this room. This thing is like foam and like thick and padded. So I have an air conditioner in this room where I make, it's like a car. You can make it freezing in here, but my feet are cold. My upper body is like a little bit moist from sweat. My lower body is freezing. Are you in, you're not in shorts.

Oh, you're in like a, I am in shorts. The thing is like a skirt, but sitting down I'm basically in shorts. Are you socked up? You weren't socks. I rarely wear socks. You and Kyle on the same page there. I like, I love wearing socks around the house. It's just- Around the house, you wear socks. You and Kyle on the same page there. I like, I love wearing socks around the house.

It's just- Around the house you wear socks? Yeah, like I have socks on in my house anytime that I'm not sleeping. It's just like, socks are nice. They're like soft and comfy. I only wear socks when I go outside long enough to put on like real shoes.

Oh man, and I know Kyle's tremendously anti-sock and that's the decapitated the old man who plays Johnny Knoxville or I guess the inverse of what I just said. So wait a minute you bought that before Halloween? Yeah yeah I tried gluing the lips to my lips so that it wouldn't be echoey but I couldn't make it work. Yeah. Okay. But I did buy like, I've got like a hat for him and glasses, like a whole disguise. And, uh, I did get the glue to glue it to my lips and I got an exacto knife. I'm going to work on his eyeballs a little bit. So you only see my eyes in there. You can stick it to them. Yeah. It's very good. It was a little,

it was definitely too echoey and weird sounding for the show. Yeah. We used to buy Halloween costumes after Halloween for the kids just to play around in and play a dress-up or whatever It was pretty cool. Problem is Colin Still likes Halloween costumes and he's like 6 3 dressed as Michael Myers with the fucking night And it is so scary. Did he send me that picture? What'd he send me that picture? And it is so goddamn scary. He is scary. It is like a movie quality costume.

It's like we went all out. Hey, it's scary. Yeah, that's... Does he always pick scary costumes? Oh, only solely scary. Autistic people like scary shit. He watches scary movies like Halloween, like scary stuff. And like he does it all the time.

And he'll like one, like love and affection while dressed as a serial killer. And it doesn't even feel like my kid. It's weird. You're like hugging into his shoulder. Like, it's a whole different vibe. Do you ever try and push him where you're like, Hey, maybe not uh, not the

horrible blood ghoul this year. Tom Brady, he's pretty scary. You know, he has a friend and they go to, they go to, um, what's the Halloween scorelet store like spirits, spirit Halloween. They go there every year and buy a couple of costumes. That's fun. I don't think I've ever in my life done like a scary costume. It's always been either just neutral or silly. Yeah, I've been

vampire and such, but you know, I'm not scary. I'm a kid. Yeah, I don't like face paint and I don't like wearing stuff on my head in a costume or on my no face masks, no face paint. My mother can sew like better than most. And that was like her thing. She always made us quilts and Halloween costumes. They were all handmade. So we had a vampire costume that got used a couple of years between my brother and I

that looked like movie quality. That's cool I was always a vampire every single year The fake teeth and the blood on my lip and every single year you didn't get bored It's what I wanted to be. I you know, it was a year in between. It's not like Anything it's like I liked the vampire. I like the look I like I had a cape, you know I had I had my little you know, paint the face and Then do your hair back and that's true. I think okay fairness. I do think I strung a couple pirates in a row

Hmm. Oh, yeah, I think still make a good pirate. Maybe yeah, I was a decent one then at the age of five I think I stringed or I strung a couple small Davey Crockett's Together or maybe I did like Davey Crockett one year and Daniel Boone the next year exact same. Yeah, I'm always I always wonder about robbing a bank on Halloween and utilizing the fact that there'd be other people in costumes to hide the fact that you're you know, disguising yourself and maybe even to like soften the scary image of a guy with a gun. Like what if you dressed up as an army man? Like and made your made your handgun. What if you made your real gun look like a you know a fake gun and you're an army man and then you robbed the bank? That's pretty cool. I hope someone they would believe you at first you'd have to blow somebody's leg off,

but they they'd catch up. It'd be you know it would be cool if there was like a purge for for bank robbery for just bank robbery. Oh, you want to give it a go? Yeah. Yeah, I want to get Although that would that would be like the most Next level impossible bank robbery of all time because they would know like alright fucking tonight's the night bank robbers are coming quadruple down on security Why would we tell them? I don't understand the scenario. Oh, it's like, it's like, uh, you know, the official you're allowed to rob tonight thing. Yeah. All right. Thanks. It's going to be pretty solid. Yeah. May 6th.

We, uh, Robin banks day or whatever. Hey, we didn't get Nellie's house, but if we both get like inoperable tumors together, you want to rob banks? Yes. All right. Let me know. Let me know. Yeah. If we both get inoperable tumors, let's rob banks and meth. You fun meth in. I mean, we're doing huge amounts of meth. Yeah. We're going to need some ladies too, because we can't just be riding around like Bonnie and Clyde, two dudes doing meth. What about crack? How does crack? I was, I was actually imagining us two dudes driving around doing meth together and then we'd drive

into a pit pursued by the police. Into a quarry. Yeah. Or off a club. Like Thelma and Louise. Exactly like Thelma and Louise holding hands. Exactly like that. They were gay too.

No, they weren't. No, they weren't. They fucked Brad Pitt. Yep. Brad Pitt. I haven't seen the movie and I don't know the story. Well, I'm not going to go through Thelma and Louise, but they weren't. I'm being honest. I didn't realize Bonnie and Clyde and Thelma and Louise were different stories.

I was just like, yeah, those two people are gonna fuck around. One of them is a movie from like the early 90s or late 80s. I don't know which. Oh, are they both not real stories? One of them is a fictional movie film with two females who go on a run because they're killing, abusing men. Bonnie and Clyde were real though. Bonnie and Clyde was a man and a woman who robbed banks in like 20s. They also like they kind of, I did read on Bonnie and Clyde once, just Wikipedia level research. So take that for what it's worth.

But like they were doing a lot more fucked up shit than it like was portrayed and like kind of the heroizing version of them. It was like, wait, so people like hated them? Why did they hate them? Oh, they just like would shoot up a car sometimes. I got into them for a little bit. I was on a motorcycle trip and they have the car where they were murdered, well, murdered, killed and on display, along with like the outfits they wore and like all the memorabilia from their death day. So I went down there, checked it out, watched the highway man, started reading about their history

from a few different sources. And at first they were super popular. They captured the public's imagination as sort of like a free spirited wild fuck you sort of thing. They were young, clearly like banging. And I guess that was a little taboo, but exciting and fun at the time. And people would like, just look at these people

making their own rules, fucking robbing banks. Like I like them. And then they started killing like the wrong people. Like, I don't know, they had a flat. Cop asked them if they needed help and they murdered the cop. Yeah, I don't know, they had a flat. Cop asked him if they needed help and they murdered the cop. Yeah, that's not cool, right? That guy had a family.

So they lost the public support. What do you always say about police, Woody? Something about bastards or something? I don't know. ACAB, that's not me, but yeah, all cops are bastards is the term. But in reefing, it's all crabs are bastards. That's the one I follow.

It's all crabs are bastards? Yeah, yeah. You know, the thing with crab kinda keep it. I have a lot of crabs. They clean the rocks and they eat the detritus, but then when your corals have damage, you know who to look at. All crabs are bastards.

There are the bastards. Do you have to correct them sometimes? Hey, get out of the way. They don't listen to me. but every so often I fight crabs Look if shit's dying in your tank, you're not doing good stuff But that doesn't apply to crabs and snails you have to refresh them every so often and when I see a dead crab When I they're too small when I see a dead crab. I'm not really feeling anything for it Oh, are these tiny little crabs little Little hermit crabs and pit those crabs

and decorator crabs. I have some cool crabs had them for over a year now. They're filter feeders. They just have like fins on their hands and they go like this all day all night. They never stop. They're just pushing water towards their mouth doing this constantly. What a life. Just always filtering for little my wife and I. Of of course it's about the fish and the corals, but we like the bugs and the crabs and the worms like almost as much, you know, to go in at night with a flashlight and see the bugs come out and eat all the little detritus. It's the rest of the ecosystem. We like it a lot.

That is cool. Could you ever put something as big as like a lobster in there or that just wreck it? I don't know. One keeps lobsters in a reef tank. It'd be too big, too big for my tank. Red lobster does. Well, they do. But then for the short term,

they got handcuffed in there too. That's always the fighting chance. Handcuff. I think it's so they don't fuck each other up though. Yeah. As much as anything. Mm hmm. Yeah.

I don't think so. Nice. One another. You know what I was just thinking about with your aquarium? And I'm sure someone does this. I was just thinking about like videos of aquariums. I almost want to see a little drone that you can drop into the tank. And like I want to feel like I'm a little crab who's like swimming around or a fish. And like take me on a little tiny tour of this underwater land,

but make me feel like I'm that size, like I'm the size of a fish and it's a big place and I'm exploring. That's gonna be a neat idea. I've never seen that done. I think you could do it with a GoPro and a selfie stick and get that done. Maybe.

Yeah, you get in there and go under the reef that you usually can't see, see what little houses are building in there. Probably not. Then you use that AI David Attenborough voice. Mysteries of the deep. You have like a little sting, like a horror movies when like one of the fish has come to,

the crab comes too close and pinches at the camera. That'd be fun. Man, I just know that if I got into like reef keeping or something, the temptation to do something like what happens if we throw this guy in the mix? Like that would just be too high. And before I knew it, it might become like those Asian guys who do bug fighting, or at least they used to do bug fighting because it'd be like, man, that piranha, fuck that clownfish up.

But how is it? You're mixing fresh and saltwater. I like whoever has the right water. It's not working. The fish never had a chance. And everyone's losing in this battle. Are they not saltwater piranhas? Just freshwater? Not that I know of.

I mean, there's plenty of saltwater things that are predators. Okay. Put a paracuda in there maybe. Those are cool. Those are bigger than you think, right? I don't know if they're I don't know how predatory they are or how like scary they'd be against a person. But but Gar that I would see in Lake Hartwell are really intimidating to look at. Like it's got a really long nose full of spiky teeth that look,

I don't know, they remind me of a nurse shark. Nurse sharks have these curved sort of gross teeth hanging out everywhere. And you'll see, like if you just go down by the boat ramps on the lake, you'll see them in the shallows just sort of sitting there kind of like a crocodile would, I'm guessing they're ambush predators.

Or maybe they just go on little bursts and grab stuff like a barracuda. But I always was a little sketched by those because when I lived on the lake I just didn't give a fuck we get stoned as shit and like me and two girls will go jump in the goddamn lake and I Would play a game where I would swim to the very bottom of the lake and it was not deep You know 12 14 feet or something, but to think of even doing that It gets really cold down there. And then I would grab the mud

because I wanted to see what the mud on the bottom of the lake. So I'd swim back up with that, probably mercury. Yeah. It was a fistful of mercury dirt. There's a YouTuber who loves alligator gar. That's what they're called. And he's like, here's my journey with my pet alligator gar.

His name is Wendy. All right, cool. Let's see this. He buys this thing. His name is Wendy. All right, cool. Let's see this. He buys this thing. It is less than an inch long, right? But I know alligator gar get big and I'm like, does he know what he's buying? So he takes this alligator gar

and he puts this in like a fish bowl. And then he gets like a 10 gallon tank and then he gets a 40 gallon tank. And the thing is growing like crazy. Then he buys like a horse trough for it to swim around and it makes a habitat and that. Then he buys like a horse trough for it to swim around and it makes a habitat in that. Then he buys a 15 acre plot of land and has bulldozers create a lake for this fucking thing.

And then he's putting the alligator, he buys a couple more now. Now he's got like six alligator guards and what I can assume is a million dollar fish tank at this point. And then the lake didn't hold water like he thought. So quick, he creates a swimming pool for these fucks while he buys a different plot of land that will hold He's learned from his mistakes on how to get this lake to work more properly

And he buys another one and he puts the gar in there and now they're now he's successfully keeping these pet alligator guards Yeah, what a fucking journey this YouTube video YouTube is so much better than real TV. Oh, yeah I kind of want to see that story now i've always thought that like i'm not into the The responsibility and everything of keeping the fish and it's just another thing that makes it difficult to like leave home because these goddamn dogs but um, I I I always Sort of imagined that it would be neat to have not just a koi pond like an outdoor koi pond But like a really over-the-top koi pond, but like a really over the top koi pond.

And I wonder what other kinds of freshwater, like hardy fish you could put outside in a sort of a manmade system around your house. Like I'm thinking like cat fish and crappy, like sport fish, why not just put game fish in there? Right, so koi or carp, Are catfish in the carp family? I don't know my freshwater fish. I don't think so.

I think catfish are catfish. I don't know much about fishes though. Oh. I don't either. I would just pick the ones that taste the best, honestly. Goldfish outside can get pretty big. I wouldn't want to eat them. I just want them to like live out there and like get big.

I know goldfish get enormous. Like, enormous? Four to six inches I think. Do they get bigger than that? I thought goldfish could grow like I know I'm a four to six inches. I think do they get bigger than that I thought goldfish could grow it pretty big is Aren't koi like a different thing than like our goldfish. I thought goldfish could grow to be gargantuan like river monsters Oh shit Goldfish can grow to be between five and eight inches long but can reach up to two feet

I've never seen a two foot inches long, but can reach up to two feet. I've never seen a two foot goldfish, but okay. And those aren't good eating fish. I don't want to eat them. I don't want to eat them. I want them to live outside in my yard. Like I want like, I like the idea of a koi pond in the yard that has like a tributary throughout the yard. Like they, I want them to swim in around. I also really liked the idea of my basement incorporating like some glass so they can swim through their little river outside and look in the basement and like wave to me and I can see them in there. Something else is going to get under there. Like what? I don't know,

a raccoon. The fish will eat whatever tries to get in the water. A koi? A bear? Cat? The raccoon is gonna don some sort of underwater breathing apparati. Dude, they're pretty smart. If it's just a little thing, they just dip right under there, swim under.

They're not smart enough to invent scuba gear. No. How deep is this thing you're imagining? Three feet, four feet. And so all that's keeping like a raccoon out of your house is that raccoon not swimming down the roof? I'm probably not describing it well. I'm imagining that a portion of the basement wall is glass. And the other side of that is my river that's in my yard full of fish. I thought you meant like an indoor- indoor outdoor pool situation with fish swimming around.

And I'm like, oh, so they have an open, an open channel. There'd be no opening in the house. Now that wouldn't work. Now I've thought about an outdoor pond, but one, I think it's a lot to maintain. And two, like, I don't know. It's tricky enough without the factors of outdoor. We have so many birds of prey around here. Like we wake up every day and there's vultures hanging out on our roof. Without the factors of outdoor we have so many birds of prey around here like that

We wake up every day and there's vultures hanging out on our roof and Jackie and I are like do we look that old? Constantly hanging out by our house, but they are I wonder it's a hawks So if you put owl decoys out that'll chase a lot of stuff away most stuff doesn't want to fuck with the owl, but I don't know if it'll scare the way the Buzzards which I also wouldn't want shitting on my house and they're federally protected all those predatory species are So if you were to accidentally even wound one, he would want to make a whole cover-up about it You know what I mean? Yeah, you need to incinerate the evidence at that point I know like I froze Ravensvens, something like that, small

birds, they're all afraid of owl decoys. I don't know about a buzzard. Crows will want to fight it. Crows will like come to it. We put the owl decoy out and the owl decoy has flappy wings on a battery and we've got a switch while I switch and we've got a bunch of crow decoys in the trees with spinny wings and they've got remote control too and then you've got two speakers one of them's and and they're you know blaring an actual audio recording of an owl fighting a bunch of crows so crows hear that and they're like don't worry buddy I'm coming and so they they haul ass to like right and at you'll see them coming and hear them coming because they're screaming I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming and so you slowly turn the volume down and

so they they zero in on your position and come right to and then you blow them away but you got to kill the first guy that comes because he's the alpha crow and he will if you miss him he'll go back and be like it's's people. And they'll all fucking leave. They'll all fucking leave. That's why when we'd go crow hunting, you wouldn't take an amateur with you. Or if you did, we're all looking at that guy like, why did you even shoot third? You shoot third. Yeah, let us take care of the king king Raven, the king, the alpha crow. Yeah, I would like to. I haven't seen any videos.

This seems like up my alley. I should have seen many videos of crows and owls fighting by now. And I have, I don't know what the, I don't know what the fights are like. I was learning about falconry the other day. Apparently there'd have to be a decent amount of crows because they're just so much smaller than owls. Yeah. They have murder of crows.

There'd be dozens of them at times. Yeah, there'd be dozens of them at times. We'd shoot 50 a day or something like that. I like to imagine it was the same family group or whatever. Kind of sad. Yeah, not as sad as like shooting an owl would be. Never shot an owl. Saved one's life one time before it was all tangled up and took him to the vet.

And they like, you're plus one in the owl world. I'm plus one. The owls. Oh me. They're the cool. I like those owl videos where some bird trainer will show you how other birds fly and be like, all right, here's a sparrow, like fly to the fucking cheerio or whatever. And then they'll do it with an owl and they have like hyper sensitive audio equipment there to try and measure it. And like nothing comes up when an owl flies. It's just dead silent. And that's, it's like, Oh, okay. Now I kind of get how this goofy looking thing fucks up a lot of animals. They have no idea it's on the way. There's no disadvantage to its flight. Like owls aren't the best flyers, right? That's condors, right? They basically can fly for days.

Does that silence like lose them anything? I wonder. I think that's how they, I think, cause they're not as fast as like a, you know, a Falcon or something. They have to be totally silent cause otherwise some mouse or whatever is going to look back and be like, Oh, this oath is trying to eat me. I'm just going to run away. But yeah, owls are cool. They don't have the coolest eyes in the bird kingdom by far. I'm imagining the way they hunt doesn't allow them to get up a ton of speed. So they need to be quiet anyway. Whereas you've got one of those birds

that comes down from way up high. They get up a ton of speed. We've got tons of those red-tailed hawks here. Like we always, my dad's place, there's like a family of them that lives there. And we know where their nest is and everything. It's a big nest. Like it's, I mean, they're big birds, but it's an even bigger nest. Like they don't, they don't fuck around. They build themselves a little mansion up there. It's a little intimidating.

It's like, what are they doing up there? Just eating littler birds, rats, rabbits, chickens, anything they can get. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Sometimes you'll see, I saw an eagle. I don't know where it was, but it like picked up an entire baby goat. Yeah, I saw that. Flew away with it. Well, they just they dunk them off of the cliff. They're like up on the, they'll like lift them a little and then like whoops and like toss them off a goddamn mountain and then it dies and they they go down there and eat them just like those birds that drop uh it's so cool like shellfish yeah they don't even they don't know they're being cruel they're like this is this is what

i do i mean i'm sure i'm more cruel i bet whatever factory i buy my farm from is just a long miserable experience for whatever piece of meat i'm eating but no i don't see it. Yeah. It's not that it depends. There are some like horror stories, but for the most part, like feed cattle, I don't think their life is that bad. Now if they get injured or sick,

then they're probably not going to have great medical care. And that's just a hard life that all animals pork or chicken. I mean, chickens got a hard life that all animals work or chicken. I mean, chicken's got a rough life. So meat chickens, unless you're really spending a lot of money and going to a place that raises them in a pasture, they live in darkness with fluorescent lights their entire life. And they get one square foot each.

That's not a lot. No, no. And they stand and shit their entire life. Yeah. So that goat lived a better life than the chicken I'm eating. But yes. Yeah. And a lot of those chickens, you see pictures of chickens from like 1945 and then again in like 1970 and then again now, and like, it's weird, but like the chickens looked normal back in the day it's like yeah that's what the chicken looks like and now it's like their legs break because they're just growing so fast so rapidly you don't know how much of this is like so like i grew up in there and it's like they get so big so fast that their their their bodies will fail at a certain

percentage like there's just fail at a certain percentage. Like there's just, you know, a certain percentage of them will just have heart attacks and die because they're getting so fat and big so fast. Like it's every day, you know, five out of a hundred thousand will have a heart attack and die, but it's, or maybe 50, you know, somewhere in there will every single day. But they get all sorts of weird deformities

because you've got a hundred thousand of them, you'll have four-legged chickens that's not that rare I've seen four-legged chickens maybe Five times something like that four-legged chickens. Yeah, that's all for extra legs. Yeah. Yeah, lots of extra legs What's the weirdest deformity you've seen any multiple heads multiple beaks? I've seen like an extra beat coming out all fucked up too many eyes before I think No one I'm like like only one eye in the middle. I think I'm joking

Three eyes in a row like that fish from like that No, but but I've seen them with four legs And a really common issue they have is their legs will get broken underneath them or whatever I don't even know why but they'll just be walking around with their all fucked up broken legs. You got a club them to death See kind of clubbed them to death. Yeah club them to death like you I can't I can't overstate how much clubbing happens in a chicken farm What you like were you like getting sore? Like your clubbing arm was getting sore sometimes?

Genuinely, we would get like tennis elbow from, from killing, from like beating birds to death. Yeah. Why are you beating birds to death? Kyle, you gotta step in. I got chicken wrist. You call it culling and basically you're killing the ones that are fucked up and dying already. You're killing the sick and the weak.

And I don't mean just like, ah, he looks scrawny. I mean, like the fucked up ones that need to be killed. Like there's something wrong with them. The deformed ones. And so what Jeremy did. That's one of his jobs. Yeah. Yeah, sure. He'd be that he never walk around with like your hands behind your back holding your stick like a commandant. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Literally every day, literally every day. Dude,

I saw a clip from Schindler's list, which I'm sure you're referencing right now. The other day I hadn't seen it a long time. I'm going to watch it this week because my girlfriend's never seen Schindler's list. A bit of a dinner. The evil Nazi comes into the factory and they're making the Jews work on slave labor and they're making hinges. And he walks up to this old Jew who're making hinges and he walks up to this old

Jew who's making hinges and he gets a stopwatch out he's like make me a hinge Jew and the guy's like fucking scared shitless he starts making that fucking hinge when this old this guy's like 60 maybe but his hands are moving so quick like he must have made a billion hinges he's fucking twisting metal and hammering pins and he goes and he must have made a billion hinges. He's fucking Twisting metal and hammering pins and he goes to ting and he must have made that pin that hinge in Less than 40 seconds, maybe less than 20 seconds. He'd made a fucking door hinge or whatever kind of hinges it was in the comment I go to check excellent excellent work

But tell me Why are there so few finished hinges in your basket? But tell me why are there so few finished hinges in your basket? And the next scene they're walking him outside to shoot him in the head and they got him on the ground and the gun keeps misfiring And the comet the comet keeps reloading and click click fix this gun prisoner and the jew is going sir My my basket was low click because I was put on click because I was put on shovel duty today for three hours and so click I'd only been making hinges for a very short period of to click. Oh my fucking God is he gonna and the commandants getting angry he's like borrowing guns from

people and shit. It's borrowing so he doesn't he doesn't even care he's about to shoot the the hinge man he the hinge guy. Well he don't care it's hinge factories plays another hinge man the the hinge guy. Well, he don't care. It's hinge factory. This place another hinge man somewhere Ralph fiends that's ralph fiends character in that movie. He's the the nazi. That's such a good movie. It's heavy though What else is he in? It's long. Well harry pot Two hours and a half. I would say shanla's list. I've only seen it once longer. It's tremendous movies are getting too long They are they're they're getting too long without earning it like

It's it's like what are you doing with these two hour and 12 minute horror movies? What are we doing here? That's fair horror should be two hours at absolute most as long as fuck and Like that story should have been told in 90 minutes. It wasn't that complex Are they gonna have to what are they gonna have to do to get you guys? wasn't that complex. Are they gonna have to, what are they gonna have to do to get you guys back excited for like a superhero movie again? Cause I know you both had a very sour taste,

especially Woody from the- As a slow learner, I'll be back. I'll be back. I will too, I will too. But it's not because we're him alone. He's Ant-Man and the Mantis are gonna- That sounds great. Look at his face.

That's a thing, they've already done that movie we in the loss now Mantis is in gardens of galaxy She's a it's Ant-Man of the Wasp. That's his chick. No, I'm I'm not going anywhere I'm just have a more discerning eye on which products I watch because it used to be that I would watch Every Marvel product that they put out so I could stay Interwoven in whatever nonsense they were doing now. So I watched all those goddamn TV shows. I didn't really enjoy But now the only thing that's got me excited because Deadpool did let me down that I didn't enjoy that The only thing that's got me excited now is they're bringing about Robert Downey jr. To be dr. Doom And I'm sure that the story is gonna involve the multiverse and they're gonna go to some other reality

Where they need this need to deal with this dr Doom character and then it's gonna be revealed that it's Tony Stark's face under there that he's dr Doom in that reality and I swear to god they got to write this line in there where they're like Where they're appealing to like maybe Tony Stark they think maybe it's something else and I need dr Doom to say I'm not Iron Man and kill a main character Because that was like his catchphrase in the movies always I'm Iron Man I do a do a thing look so I need him to be like I'm not Iron Man and like Kill Captain America right there like break his neck or something hard like I'm hoping that that I predicted that moment two years out

You know is that cool to say I'm not Iron Man It would be so do it with I'm telling you as a Marvel fan It would be super cool if he said that like really every movie almost he says I'm Iron Man And then he does some shit he ends one of the movies by like the the whole thing in the first movie I think is at first they wanted to do the secret identity bullshit, but he's at the press conference and he's just like, yeah, also I'm Iron Man. What the fuck? And they like lose their shit. And that's like the end of the movie maybe. He just like blows his cover right away

because he wants to be like a celebrity. What if he looked at him and he goes, you're doomed. That'd be lame as shit. What does that mean? Oh, wait, that was not a good mistake. You're Dr. Doomed, aren't you? I got a prescription for doom. No, you know what? I want to take that again. You guys

keep looking scared. But I'm coming back for that. I'm going to come back for that because that'll be like an Avengers big movie that has all the big collaboration everybody coming together and I want to see what they do with black Captain America because I don't love that guy as an actor, but I'll watch him I guess I watched the whole black Captain America TV show that was making that was so much white guilt in that shit They just beat you over the head they go back and they find that the original Captain America program, which in the movies that we've seen so far, seemed a real up and up organization.

You know, we're doing the right thing for the right reasons. They're like, oh, you don't even know. They tested the serum on Negro soldiers, didn't even tell him what he's given them. And then they find the failed black Captain America, who they like illegally tested Captain America Siremon and he's got like super strength and he's all bitter in his poor little house and the white man took everything from me Like he doesn't say that but if you let that's the gist of it, you know, it sounds insufferable I won't be watching it is it's it's well, you know, I oh I it's it's a good show. That's a good show

There's I watch it. I don't know. I Watched it too. I didn't hate it about it, but it wasn't a good show I don't know what I don't know what Marvel's gonna do I fear that it was a flash in the not a flash in the pan But they really did that first era of casting was so good with Robert Downey Jr And Chris Evans and even Mark Ruffalo is a kind of a quiet thoughtful Hulk was really good. Yeah, dude, like you needed an actor who was going to go full

steroid mode and get the physique for Thor and Hemsworth did it. And you got to love that. Like, I love those stories that I can't remember who told me this. My renderer probably wasn't though about like Chris Hemsworth having to use CGI and like lots of makeup to hide all the acne on his back because he was on just so much shit. So he was just broken out. Yeah. Yeah.

You can get really bad at back acne. I got acne on my shoulders. No, that is a sign of it that, you know, Derek would use to identify steroid use. Oh yeah. If you see a dude who's like thirty five with acne on his shoulders, just know that Jack shouldn't be happening now. Well, you know, I hope they don't get you again with another retarded superhero movie. Maybe it'll return to the way you like it.

I mean, it's not like I'm paying for him anyway. Do you think we'll know the president next show? The election's Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, we're going to know. Thursday. Yeah. I think we'll know in two days. Did we know last time in two days?

No. I don't remember. But they better. That's so fucking ridiculous to not have it same day. That's so insane. There are laws that prevent it. And I see it both ways. Like with the mail-in ballots,

they're not allowed to count them in advance. And I can imagine, maybe that's intelligence you don't want to even exist, right? Like, you know, how the vote's going so far while the voting's still happening. And I can also be like, yeah, but now we're fucked. Now it's nearly impossible for those votes to get counted on time. Yeah, like we did this for most of our country's history. We're like, with lower technology, where like they knew by the end of the night who won. There's exceptions like 2000,

where there's a huge amount of, you know. Races are tighter than they ever were. Yeah, they weren't this tight before. We used to know weeks in advance, like who was obviously going to win. So I think it goes too- That's just crazy to be like, oh, we might not know until five days later. It's like, well, that's fucking ridiculous. Get it together.

Get it done by that night. I think we're going to know right away. I think there's two outcomes that I foresee. Okay. Well, no shit. I know, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but minute. I also see two. Oh, hold on, Woody. He's got this long lock. Let's sit our asses down and listen. I just think the only way Kamala wins

Kamala wins is if women show up really disproportionately and and vote vote for her. I think that's the only way because she's she the polls say she's behind in every single swing state, at least the average of all the polls. There's a couple of outliers. And I keep seeing stuff that he's winning the popular vote somehow. So it seems like it's a Trump slam dunk. So either it is what it looks like and it's the Trump slam dunk. So either it is what it looks like and it's the Trump slam dunk. And right away we're like calling Pennsylvania, for example, like he wins Pennsylvania like 55, 56% of Pennsylvania. That's not what's going to happen. But like if he does something

like that, we know right away. But if the women show up and right away the swing states are out of play and we're seeing like Georgia swinging back the wrong way, North Carolina swinging back the wrong way, then we're just gonna know. That's what it's gonna take. Like if he loses North Carolina, like Jesus, the paths shrink dramatically. I don't think he's gonna lose North Carolina. I saw that the Democrats pulled a lot of advertising

out of North Carolina, which is usually an admission that like, you know, our money is not best served here anymore, like the ROI is not there. Leave this up for a bit. This, to me this looks awfully realistic. Really Trump getting Wisconsin and Michigan and Pennsylvania and North Carolina and Georgia? Yeah. Every coin flip? I look at the polls today maybe I you know they're always changing but I just saw him ahead everywhere.

Just, so if he, if let's say he loses Wisconsin and Michigan here, it looks like he still wins, right? Yes. Yeah. He needs to lose the Wisconsin and Michigan have to go blue and they're the Kamala is winning in that. I don't know what this, uh, what Zach found here, but, uh, the polls that I see, I look at five38 and something else.

And I see Kamala winning, he's moving around 271. He's winning the two Great Lakes takes, but Pennsylvania is super tight. Trump is winning I see with like a 52% chance of winning. And then a little better, like closer to 60 in North Carolina and Georgia and I don't see anyone saying Trump's winning Nevada so this this isn't in line with the whole he's gonna rock the whole sun belt he's going right through Nevada Utah and Arizona he's gonna clean

him up Woody it's it's not even gonna be close it's gonna be rough we're gonna know you might be right and you might be a hundred dollars richer Kyle Where are you seeing this 270 to win thing? Because I went to 270 to win and it just takes every close state and call it a toss up and doesn't make any predictions I have no idea. I don't emulator. I mean i'm on there too The polls. I used to look at 270 to win and it frustrated me because at least on my screen, it doesn't make any calls.

This is the tall substates, Nevada, Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Georgia, all too close to call. I'm like, what the fuck is that? That's just not telling me anything. I don't know. Yeah. What the fuck is that? That's just not telling me anything. So I don't know. Yeah, I saw Trump up like two to 5% in Georgia. Yeah, I think he's looking good in Georgia

and Pennsylvania right now and North Carolina. At least that's what I saw about a week ago. And it's been tightening in the last whatever, five days. I don't know how long it's been, but it's hard to tell. Also, all these polls are a look like 10 to 14 days in the past And what do you make of that if it's like i like the trumps doing like little viral clips and shit in the in the closing days and kamala's

Kind of doing the same thing. I mean she's doing she's doing her job But like I think trump and vance doing rogan getting probably I don't know how many millions of views it's at now and then I I genuinely liked his garbage man stunt and I I think Trump and Vance doing Rogan getting probably, I don't know how many millions of views it's at now. And then I genuinely liked his garbage man stunt. And I think that it's the, I think the meme, I think if you win the meme war, you might win the presidency. This is the kind of poll that I hate to see.

Like it basically takes every interesting race and calls it too close to call. Everything's purple. It's a guy. It's a- Yeah. It's like, I fucking could have made this like, yeah, I have some balls, switch it around. And I'm not completely sure that Zach isn't showing us things that he clicked and manipulated himself. Yeah. I don't know.

That's how two 70 to win works on my computer. Yeah. Where you can just kind of regardless though, like, like it't know that's how 270 to win works on my computer Yeah, I where you can just kind of regardless though Like like it's it's we're not going to get to the bottom of anything from the polls And we're going to find out next tuesday and it's gonna be fucking Fun to watch. I I I really hope That we know right away and that it's a landslide one way or the other I don't even care who wins. I'm afraid of both of them I'm genuinely afraid of both of them. You don't like like then I'm genuinely afraid of both of them and their policies Taylor like like I worry that maybe I don't like the free speech I hear from Harrison Walls at all. I worry she'll be over her head in international affairs and I worry that he'll maybe

Have some trials and put Nancy Pelosi on and a guillotine or something crazy like I worried that he might go I don't know I don't know what even after he won he's like we're not doing anything with Hillary it'd be bad for the country yeah but that was before the last year they tried to do it attorney general refused to follow through you know they're delaying his sentencing till after in New York all the New York shit that he was found guilty on those 40 felonies or whatever until after this election. It behooves him to cement his safety going forward

rather than just hoping on a four year time period. Like, what if they sent it to him to like five years of prison after his presidential term? Do you think he's leaving? You think he's leaving? He's going to be. He's too old. To serve. I don't know how long he's leaving? Do you think he's leaving? He's too old to serve. I don't know how long he's going to live. We're not going to throw an 84 year old or what would he be 70 or 83? Right.

By the end of it. 82. I thought he was pardoned by Vance. He's 78. He can just pardon himself. Would he? Yes. I think he can pardon himself. What a funny system. Yeah. You know, I bet pardon himself. What a funny system. Yeah. You can just pardon. You know, I bet he pardons a Hunter Biden. Oh, but I don't think he pardoned himself on state level.

That'd be, that becomes a tricky thing. Well, I'm sure Biden's going to pardon Hunter Biden, right? If he does, he won't. That'd be a, that'd be a big boy move. If Donald pardoned him. I would, I feel like I could see that like that would win a lot of hearts and minds. You could see Donald Trump pardoning Hunter. No, no, I could not see it.

If it's politically advantageous, like if it makes him look better in his mind, he'll do it. That's what he does for like everything operating. He wants to look good. And so if like that's the way the tide's turning, I wouldn't put it past him. I haven't seen Trump turn the other cheek. I haven't seen him, you know, anytime the other team takes a shot at Trump, he never

is like, you know what, let's be friends. Nope. Yeah, maybe I wouldn't. If he gets in, I hope he does go after a lot of the people have been pulling this bullshit for a long time. Like a tribunal, military tribunal. Ooh, a tribunal, a triumvirate. We get three presidents now. We get, we get Trump and Baron.

No, he's going to hold hearing and a wild card. A random citizen. Have those Saddam Hussein style hearings. I that where he's just going to call forward people and just, he's going to pass judgment on them. Yeah. I just, I really dislike just how open both Harris and Walls have been with like, yeah, I mean, free speech doesn't protect hate speech and misinformation. And that needs to be shut down. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's not how free speech works. Free speech isn't there to protect people being like, go Ravens. It's to protect actually, you know, controversial speech.

Well, I don't want to, the idea that you can just run some, the idea you can just let one political party or a bunch of rich oligarchs in big tech decide what is and isn't allowed to be said by the American public on the the public square, which is Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, all of these things. I hear where you're coming from, but it's so difficult to get this right, right? Because at some point, telling people vaccines are bad and creating a movement

that gets people to stop taking them and not just the COVID one, I know that one's newer, but vaccines in general, RFK says they cause autism and the world should stop taking back vaccines. But we know they do a lot more good than harm. And if you spread information like RFK does, it is more destructive than yelling fire in a theater. It's a problem.

On the other hand, I have more to say. On the other hand, to your point, it is really difficult to figure out what's right and what's wrong. I remember about the masks, right? At first you don't need masks, then any mask will do. Then cloth masks are no good, and that changed. And you could get banned from Twitter

by saying that it came from a lab in Wuhan instead of the bat market or whatever. And I think they were doing that in good faith. And then it turns out they were working on perhaps wrong information. And if you censor people for saying shit, that's not true. That could later turn out to be true. Then you've done a terrible thing. So it is hard to censor. Like, and never if you want people to be right and not hurt other people, but you don't know for sure what's right. It puts you in a spot where you get shit wrong. And it

becomes a bad thing. For me, it's very easy. Like when in doubt, don't censor people. Like if you're directly calling to harm someone or being like go to this person's house and like, you know, drag them out of like, we all know can't can't do that shit but the idea that like RFK can't go talk about the fucking his whatever platelet spinning shit he thinks Americans should do to be jacked or if he like has a problem with some vaccines like like he should be able to say what he believes and all it's gonna do is agree it's just i'm trying to say it's really hard to draw that line and get it right

all the time. It's like any kind of moderation. If you give them that, that credence, that leeway to do it, like we know the side that wants to censor misinformation, like they censored the masks off. They censored lots of stuff over the past few years that ended up being correct. And like, I don't give them all the faith of like, oh, they just got the information wrong. Like, no, they at some point knew, they knew the Hunter Biden laptop was real. Those intelligence agents knew that and they lied and it was set as misinformation.

And so like, no matter who's in charge, whether it's Harris or Trump or whatever, like, I don't want that person to be able to go, oh, this, this thing that reflects poorly on me and my friends and my little enclave here, my donors, my big spenders. No, that's misinformation actually and questioning it loses your YouTube channel. How do you like that loses your Twitter account, your Facebook, like that's it's it's sinister and it's always overused. It never stops on one little thing. They want more control over our speech online and that's a huge threat because that's all we have online now is speech here for the most part. That's why Elon buying Twitter was a great thing. Actually having a more uncensored and he still censors plenty of stuff. There's still stuff censored on there. He's having a more sense of he doesn't like and Twitter, like Twitter may have

been somewhat political back in 2015, but what it is now is off the fucking charts. The owner of Twitter is literally going to Trump rallies and promoting Trump. Yeah, the owner of Facebook, literally a million dollars. He's giving millions of dollars to people to vote in the way that he wants them. More or less. This is so far beyond the pale of what you didn't like about 2015 and 2016. Hold on, is he giving more?

What he's doing now is fucking insane in terms of like- You had no problem with Mark Zuckerberg doing this. He bought a media company and is taking his bias and putting it out there a hundred times more than existed four years ago. He's donating hundreds of millions of dollars to Trump's campaign. If Twitter had a bias before, it was subtle and it was like a couple of dick pics of the Biden. This isn't subtle. What's happening now is so far beyond what has ever happened before.

Fucking literally, Elon Musk is on stage at Trump's rallies promoting him. Paying people, paying people millions of dollars to vote for Trump. I don't remember you having an issue with this four years ago when Elon Musk put older Trumps. That's what I'm saying to you. Four years ago, I did have an issue with it and I was a little like, ah, you know It turns out they fucked that up and I don't like it But what they're doing now is so far beyond what they've done in the past now that Elon Musk a Trump supporter a future Trump cabinet member they say

Okay, so the owner of Facebook, a larger site than Twitter by all metrics, it was, he put $400 million largely into Georgia in the get out the vote portion of the democratic outreach program. Like that's what he did. And he used his position at Facebook to delegitimize stories like the Hunter Biden thing, anything negative about Biden and the Democrats. And he got rid of those stories. They know this. It's confirmed. And so this idea that now that Elon Musk on Twitter is doing something similar, that now it's this crazy beyond the pale thing.

It's like billionaires are in our politics for better or worse. And I think it's probably almost always worse. The worst, for sure. It's like what what Zuckerberg did if he donate, I didn't hear about him donating $400 million to the Democrats, that never got into my feed. But I can hear about Musk's and it's happening right now. And it's also hundreds of millions of dollars. And it's not just like subtle ads or whatever. Like he's on the stage. He's jumping up trying to make an X. It is dorky little, I don't know. They banned whole stories negative about Biden

from entire platforms. They banned the word siss on X right now. Do you think that's as impactful? I think it shows the bias. What has happened to the conversations on X have shifted. Like my red friends, the ones who don't like to hear anything that they don't like to hear, are like, you have to go to Twitter to get the truth nowadays. Because Twitter is a safe space for Republicans.

There's a ton of left-leaning people on Twitter. Yeah, but they... I'm telling you, it's a safe space for Republicans. It's more, it's definitely more, it's more right wing now, for sure. But that's also just like Elon Musk taking his thumb off the scales. And now put his thumb on this scale. He was on the scales for years. They admitted this guy, they changed the algorithm so that Elon Musk's tweets get special treatment above all else. And he retweets

Republican talking points and Republican. He's totally biased. Yeah. So he, he got upset when he wasn't the biggest tweeter on the planet. So they made him that algorithmically. That is finger on the scale. That is buying a publishing company and then pushing out your political message as the richest man the Earth has ever seen.

Bezos did the opposite. Bezos refused to endorse a candidate. Which- No, no, no, he refused to allow his newspaper to do the endorsement they wanted. Okay, yes. Yeah, I should have said it that way. Yeah, so the Washington Post, Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post, and he's doing sort of the opposite of what Elon Musk did in that he's just staying quiet about who Washington Post is. I think it's because he probably sees the writing on the wall and that a Trump win is very likely, and he wants to be seen in a more positive light by that administration.

Cause he has been like, I would agree with you, but I, I see it a little differently. I think he sees that if Kamala wins, there will be no punishment for failing to endorse her. But if Trump wins, there will be a punishment for endorsing the wrong person. So he just going to stay quiet because Kamala will forgive them and Trump won't. Maybe, I mean, but they endorsed his opponent in every other race. Man, I just stopped. Right? Why does the Washington... Newspapers endorse people.

Like that's a thing that newspapers do. Isn't that insane? That we like, like you're supposed to read this stuff from the New York Times and be like, what a prestigious organization. Who'd they endorse? Oh, the same party every time. Every time for, you know, 80, yeah. And so this like, our media is so corrupt and I like more freedom of speech online, whether it's Elon giving it or Zuckerberg, he's not really known for doing that.

Or paid Russian and different formation activists, like, you know, like, if that's the cost, if that's the cost of like having the Russians to spread lies about the Ukraine war, like that, is that the free speech we're protecting? I would err on the side of allowing that versus shutting down whatever the current ruling party sees as threatening, because that's all that heavy censorship is. It's not about protecting people. It's about the people in power at that moment,

having the ability to solidify their stance and their ideology by banning speech outside of it. It's a problem when Russian pays American influencers a hundred grand a video to sprout Russian lies. I agree. I don't like any foreign interference in our politics. That's why I've like mentioned disliking APAC so much on this show. I don't like any of this foreign influence. America should be for Americans. None of- There's harmful disinformation

and I can't have what I want. I want the harmful disinformation to not be spread. But since I don't know where the harmful disinformation is until two years later, I can't get it right all the time. And because I can't get it right all the time, it's this like, you know, it's better to let a hundred guilty people walk free than to let one innocent man get convicted sort of thing. Like, that's where I am with censorship.

And I just don't know how to get it perfect. Yeah, I want to talk about Elon's making his jumping X, though, because that's that's got to be I didn't realize he was trying to make an X at first Over he's got his fucking midriff hanging out like a retard dude I am NOT a good jumper, but I've got a better vertical than Elon Musk I think Woody and I can out jump you on We're not jump jumps men Why does he keep doing it because I'm sure he's seen photographs of him doing it and it doesn't look good

And yeah, I saw the crowd beg for it like they're like the X do the X like the air out pleaser Yeah, but they're laughing at him, you know Yeah, it's like a kid that stuttered and they're like say Mary had a little lamb Did you see Trump talking? On Joe Rogan where you know Trump was like you've been hanging out with Elon Musk Elon Musk a lot like what's he like where Trump was like, you've been hanging out with Elon Musk, Elon Musk a lot. Like what's he like? And Trump's like, great guy. This guy, he's such a good guy from another planet.

This guy, like just talking about what, like, you know, Trump thinks he's a fucking weirdo. Yeah. 10 years ago, when Elon was like, you know, the saving the world for the Democrats guy, I still couldn't find him to be a compelling speaker. He is one of the worst communicators that I, who's ever been in his position. The space stuff is cool. And I am so in favor of making Twitter more free speech, but outside of that, the, the boring cars, you don't care.

Tesla. I'm not interested. What were the flamethrowers? Flamethrowers. No, don't care about that. Or it's really the Twitter and the space stuff that's top tier from him. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's just he's got some good takes.

I love that he's got this program in Pennsylvania where he's like. There's a million dollar prize that you randomly get if you register to vote or something like that. And and it's like, I saw him give a big check to the winner and it's like, he's made it a game show. It's beautiful. Apparently that's illegal. And while they're suing him, he didn't show up today for court. Right. Which in my world means you automatically lose, but I just am assuming the rules are different for Elon and he'll never be punished and everything will be fine. Of course. Is it even illegal or are they like trying to... I mean, that's needed again and again. Do I know the law? No.

It seems like it should be. It seems like we don't tend to actually enforce laws against the amount of money that billionaires and large corporations bandy about in the political world. So there's a thing we agree on. Yeah. And they also last week, they also found out that he'd been having these private conversations with Putin for over two years. And Putin had asked him to not employ Starlink over Taiwan

or something like that, or as a favor to China. What is, why we have Starlink over Taiwan? Just give internet over there? Yeah. Well, he wants to make the whole planet like internet accessible. Like, so you can get along on that. He's launching more. Well, he has the most satellites.

Satellites in space. Give him a minute. Continuously. Nah. Get moving. Zach, Zach, show me how about how about this? How many how many satellites do you think Elon Elon must put into space this month? 35,000. Wait this month? I'm gonna say 34. Yeah, I'll guess that's probably I bet he bet a fucking hundred. I bet each rocket's carrying like 50 of them or something.

Okay fine if he's popping a 100 a month up there I retract I'm guessing I just know he's got thousands and thousands of them and that like over two-thirds of existing satellites are musk satellites Like you can I can't see them with my eye But I see people who are in the right area and you see this line of fucking satellites moving through space Was it 60 launch 60 per launch 60 per launch. How many launches this month? I Thought he meant one what I'm saying is either way it was pretty sketchy to hear that about Musk and and I Don't know he's got so much power and so much wealth and that to be tied into those key industries as well as a little

sketchy He's not just like yeah Putin on the side. Yeah his wealth isn't in like snack foods so it's a little scarier. That's Mr. Beast. Yeah right. No they can't. You know a Boeing was secretly meeting with Russia and you know listening to his thoughts on what he'd like Boeing to do it would be like what the no Boeing, Boeing is for us. Boeing is an American company. But that's Elon Musk is also a defense contractor. What is my as of the 26th, he had 22 launches of 60 up to 60 per launch.

Yeah, that's a lot. Well, is what did Musk say about the Putin thing? I haven't heard Musk speak about it. He said, Trump, 2024, my country. And then he did a little ha ha and he jumped. I mean, I don't, did he do the yacht? Our Dean. So you don't, you, that might be before your time.

No, I remember how I can't believe that was disqualifying for president. He let out in a crowded environment and I guess the mics picked him up and not the all the crowd noise and it made him sound crazy and his campaign was over. That was 2004 right? Nowadays you could literally get convicted of rape and they're like, ah, I'm going to bite you. There's no media confidence the way there was. I'm going to magic. Yeah. And the, your Mike's mute, you've heard all that because it knows that it's, it doesn't want you to have this Dukakis moment.

What was his name? If it wasn't Dukakis. Did my Mike do something? When you yell, your Mike quiets you. Oh. So you need to calm down. It's happening a couple times this show. Calm down, big guy.

Howard Dean, that's who it was. Yeah. Howard Dean. Jimmy's political brother. Yeah, yeah, we'll see. I don't know. I'm not confident that Kamala is going to win. But if someone's confident Trump's going to win, then I think they're being silly. Absolutely. I am not. If I was forced to bet on it right now, it seems more likely Trump. And so I'd put my money there. Yeah, but I'm not confident enough to put money on this. No, not at this juncture. I heard of some poll expert. He seemed non biased who was like, yeah, if anyone's confident that their choice is right, don't trust that guy.

That guy's biased. The guy I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Although like the algorithm is so fucking shitty, dude. There's like so many of these dweeb youtubers who are like I don't know 22 years old and they're election experts somehow and it's like I think this is your first election. You can vote bro What are you what are you talking about? Oh my god. I see them too and and they've got the they've got the map out on 5 38 or 270 or whatever and they're like Oh, we just ignored that one. And we, oh, this one. So you're just picking and choosing polls to believe

and then creating this forecast for this Trump Reagan like sweep. California's in play people. I'm saying it right now. And then they show you a map of California. And I'm sure you've seen it before on Reddit or something, but California is mostly red. Like square footage wise, square footage wise, it's like two to one red or something, but California is mostly red. Like square footage wise, it's like two to two to one red or something like that. It's the population.

Yeah. You know, we've got blue cities, not blue states. Yeah. And then we've got states full of desert and prairie as well. Yeah. Yeah. The Republicans love to make it look like the bulk of the country is Republican, but it depends whether you measure by people. Land is it is it is the animals could vote though. They probably go dim. The animals. Yeah, I guess that's where the vegetarian are. Are you serious? The animals would go third party and we'd have new conquerors. They let the dolphins have a vote. Um, I think that they vote Democrat. You know, they're not stupid. They're not gonna vote what Jill Stein, please She doesn't care about the Dolphins. The Dolphins would make their own party

Yeah, there's not enough American golf system. Do you know the population of dolphins in the southern waters Taylor? No clearly Voting block the Gulf it's not going to be a powerful voting block. The Gulf is not going to be a powerful voting block at all. They're going to, we're going to be the, I was imagining they would be the leader animals and they would like direct the cows, pigs and chickens. They don't get a say. The cows, the animals don't have their shit together. The dolphins vote for one guy, the porpoise votes for another and they're, it's all crack.

And all the pigs and cows and chickens pick. It's probably only the bottlenose dolphins. I think those are the big smart ones. You know, certainly not those river ugly ones. Yeah, the ones that evolved to lose their eyes. Basically, it's just a slit. Now get out of here. Those yellow, those yellow, yellow, whatever they are.

Oh, lemon dolphins. What are they called? No, they're kind of reddish. Maybe that was a tint from the picture cameras. I remember the no I think bottlenose dolphins are like they're coming right up behind us intelligent and intelligence The Navy does crazy shit with dolphins do all sorts of mind detection and like teaching them to go to enemy vessels and plant Devices on them and then leave but eventually we're gonna figure out their language I wouldn't be surprised if they had already done it to a rudimentary level in the military plant devices on them and then leave. Eventually, we're going to figure out their language. I wouldn't be surprised if they had already done it to a rudimentary level in the military.

The Navy's had a program trying to talk to dolphins since World War II, since before World War II. So, I wouldn't be surprised if they can tell a dolphin to like, see you tomorrow at eight. The dolphin shows up on time and clocks in. What do you do? It's like, Oh, I work for the CIA. It's like, Oh, doing what? Like assassinating foreign despots, you know, spy missions. He's like, no, I play duo lingo with a, with the dolphin. I've been doing it for 35 years. We've made no progress. Oh, that reminds me. I want to play. If you want to play Scrabble sometime, let me know. I've been playing on an app and just the bot beats the shit out of me because the bot knows all the two letter words and I don't. And the the fucking people that play on there genuinely cheat, Woody. I'm super curious and I don't know how to ask without sounding like a moron. What's a two-letter word you don't know?

There are dozens. There are dozens that you don't know. I'm sure. Because it's Scrabble and we're anywhere, you know, there's a list of the two and three-letter words. Two, B, how many more can there be? Probably like 75, something like that. There's a big list. I don't know them I know but so you need to know all one that you lose on I'm sure you remember one that you did a Quadruple word thing where it stacked a word on top of another word and it made like five different up and down words and one straight crosswords simultaneously

Manhandled it was a cheater. He's got to be using some kind of fucking cheat to do that because he did it fast Taylor He was like, oh Persephone and then like like immediately it was like eight word combo and like sparkles went off What's your win-loss record? How's it going? I've never won Yeah, yeah because I know first of all, I know you'll be good at it but I need someone who doesn't know the intricate, I need someone who doesn't know the intricacies of Scrabble. Yeah, that's like one of the games I'm good at.

Yeah, but he doesn't know the intricacies of Scrabble, and neither do I. So like, we're just gonna go vocabulary against vocabulary. If he wins most of the games, that's fine. I just wanna play against a normal person who's not cheating, because the people cheat and the bot is bullshit. I can slaughter the easy bot and the medium bot destroys.

And people use bot like an insult. They don't understand bots can be far better than any human. Oh yeah, especially games like chess. It knows all in three-letter words. Like your brain doesn't want to think in that way to do the words like up and down and across. Like the way it was throwing combos on me, it was just really disheartening. What were the scores like? throwing combos on me, it was just really disheartening. What were the scores like? Like I would keep up, but it would be like 187 to 140 or something like that.

And then I would be like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. Cause my next word is gonna be cow or cows. I haven't decided yet. And it's next word is. Even this ass for a rainy day. Cows. I haven't decided yet. Even this S for rainy day. And I genuinely don't know like the intricacies of the game of Scrabble. Aside from just making words. Yeah, I've played. I've always just had the goal of like, what's the longest word I can make?

But I don't really think that's my goal as well. Yeah. Also, some of the letters are worth more. And if you can put that on a triple word score or something then well, the computer is intentionally monopolizing the corners of the board. It's doing like a thing to like take up territory and like block avenues of advance for me. It's upsetting. So I'd love to play it someone who doesn't know how to play because I don't know how to play. Yeah. Oh, and we need to jump on Skyrim. I'm ready to do that anytime. I could do that tomorrow Let's do that soon. I want to go on a magical adventure with you. I will be chagrin the procura Yes and I'll be Otis will goombay Yeah, mostly impressive

Can you be from that tribe where the women prize the man with the largest belly? Yes, I Can you be from that tribe where the women prize the man with the largest belly? Yes I will be from that tribe. Can you be fat in skyrim? With the mods we can genuinely do anything that you can fathom in elden ring You can only be Still look good with clothes on fat like full chubby and elden ring is not that fat still look good with clothes on fat like full chubby and Elden Ring is not that fat. Can you even play anymore or are you like taking a pause from Elden Ring because there's just nothing like you've I know that from Skyrim I'm like I don't even

know what else to do anymore. He's gonna beat it nine times in a row that's his goal. Eight times in a row and and I have beaten the base game eight times I am now on DLC eighth time every time you beat it, it gets harder up until the eighth time that they call new game seven. So your second time is new game one. So I'm on new game seven, the highest difficulty of a famously hard game. And I've beaten the base game and now I'm on the DLC.

And when I beat that for the eighth time, there's not much I can do. Another thing I like to do that's slowing me down is I help, I don't wanna be an asshole, like I help lesser players who can't beat bosses or get through towns and just sherpa people. And I like doing that. Yeah, that's gotta be fun.

Like, you're just putting yourself back in that distant land where you were new. You couldn't even imagine being sherpa. It's kind of, I judge them sometimes. I'm like, Oh, so you need help with this. Okay. But I'm going to wear a dress for this shit. I'm putting the armor away.

I'm breaking out like a fucking band. That would be a great weapon. Morocco. I got to kill everyone with a bouquet of flowers just to show you what a pussy you are. Because this is easy, Bill. So they're just like summoning you for like some bullshit boss fights sometimes? Sometimes it's not even the boss fight. Like you can summon for boss fights.

I thought that's what it was at first. But you can also summon it like the beginning of the town that you need to get through to get to the boss fight. And I'm down for anything. Like, oh, whatever you need help with, I just like doing it. Do they get experience? Yes. Yeah, they get the bulk of it. I get maybe one third of the runes I would get

if I was doing it myself. But if I successfully beat the boss with them, I get something called a rune arc, which powers up your character until the next time you die. I also kind of want to get a third, and one of us be Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas. And like, because you can get mods where you genuinely just look like them. You just are them.

I call it. Taylor, it's a fantasy world. I can be whoever I want. You know who you are. We're going to be a guy with us. I just want to be a guy with a similar waist size. It's equally attractive. You're that scene where where Legolas walked on top of the snow on the mountain

and all the others were sinking into it. Yeah, that's me. That's you. He's so light-footed. That's what Kim would think. Jesus Christ. Well, I mean, I suppose I won't be picky. He's so light-footed. That's what Gimli would think. Jesus Christ. Well, I mean, I suppose I won't be picky. Maybe I'll be R1 instead if I can't be.

I guess I'll be Eric. You were going to be the boat. You were saying the whole time you were always want to be the Elfman. You know, I always gravitate a mastic magic man. Well, if we're doing I guess we could do a Gandalf. I could do a magic man. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, honestly, it's magic man. Well, if we're doing, I guess we could do a Gandalf. I could do a magic man. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. Honestly, magic man or Archer. Every other build is significantly less fun than those. Yeah, I guess so. Less fun. Yeah. Yeah. In Skyrim, the possibilities you have with

sword or a battle axe. There's only so many things you can do with a sword or a battle axe to another person. But if you're a wizard, you know, I can make lightning hit you or fire. I could like make you go to sleep. I could turn you into a sheep or I could convince your friends to kill you. I could do all sorts of wacky things to blind you. Yeah, you can paralyze. I don't like that. I trying to talk less about Elden Ring. But in Elden Ring, you can do spells and you can do you're wearing the costume costume, dude. You can have it up. You can put it on as much as you want. Yeah, but I would like you to just-

I was inspired by this legend, Let Me Solo Her. Maybe you've seen him. He wears a hat on his head. Yeah. And he sharpens people who can't beat tough bosses. And that's who I aspire to be. And if I'm sitting there throwing lightning bolts at someone from a distance, well, I'm cheesing and I don't want to cheese

I want to get good get get good spelled gud Gud that's the like a mantra in the game get good That's what I want to do put in my time Until the point where I can sit there with a fucking club and address and be anyone who dares try me This is a lot of people. Yeah, of course in the the world, it should be that like, aren't you? Do you ever PvP? Yeah, yeah, I have. I wouldn't. Are you at this point? That's interesting. Yes. To me, that's the logical next evolution. Once

you've beaten it this final time. Because always in every game, like no matter how hard the AI is, like I remember with Civ five, it was like that, right? Like, all right, I've beaten Deity AI using every race. Like the game doesn't have anything else for me. I've gotta find people that are like crafty and sneaky and have perfected every step to like make it harder. Maybe that's true there. Here's the Elden Ring dynamic

and I think it's pretty cool, right? If you don't summon anybody, then you don't get invaded. However, if you summon someone like me to help you, well, you've opened your door for other humans to join your game and invade us. And now they become, I wanna say they're woodland creatures. They're game obstacles just like anybody else. But of course they're you,

they have good armor and weapons, they're the same thing they always have. And so while I'm sharpening somebody through a town or towards the main boss, we get invaded by other players and I gotta nuke that problem. It's like, host run, there's a bad guy here, let me get this for you.

And then they bring the host back and we go. Cause if the host dies, I failed my mission. So I- Yeah, that's a cool, that's a fun thing to be able to do at the end of the game. bring the host back and we go. Cause if the host dies, I failed my mission. So I didn't. Yeah. That's a cool, like that's a fun thing to be able to do at the end of the game. Yeah.

And you sort of, the world gets divided into good guys and bad guys. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be an obstacle to somebody completing this game? Do you want to be the scary thing in the woods? Cause you can. Or do you want to be the Sherpa

that gets him past all the things with the long teeth in the woods and There's a population that does both. Are you having fun being the scary thing in the woods at all? So there's a quest where they force you to do that three times. So for me, that's 24 times and I like it It's fine. I feel guilty when I kill Trying to like, you know, they're like, this game is famously hard. And you talk about what he's fucking coming along here. So you just pop out of the woods and like, ah, and then they're like,

and some people carefully take this. Once you kill the host, you've won. And some people will avoid the host and kill the others first, like to make a point of it. But I'm not that good. I avoid the host and kill the others first like to make a point of it But I'm not that good. I kill the host and then I that's how I win that Okay, then you talk shit when you do it No, no, that would be the coup de grace like if you could come in the dance Adam or something Yeah, yeah, there are other ways to like are there's like a booty dance like you can walk in dance Weapons do it like not hitting them for a while

Maybe I watch them and i can like in the you can pretty quickly get a vibe for their uh skill level and if it's low i might just let them miss me for like a whole minute before i strike the first time with your bouquet that's that's how you can talk shit in the game i'm'm not that good or anything, but I play eight hours a day. You're beating at the seventh prestige. I think that's pretty impressive. Especially when early on you were like, God, this game is a fucking chore. This is so difficult. So I was looking for the French Chateau video. We mentioned earlier in the show. Yeah Yeah, I wanted to know who it was. So I go to my YouTube watch history to see what Jackie's watching

There is a disturbing amount of Elden Ring research in my YouTube watch history just hours of it Just how to do proper builds and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's out I have a ton of that in mind for a if you.E. If you want to like be good at a game, some of these really masterful games that are that deep, you have to do that. Like with Baldur's Gate. Oh, my God. Like there's so much going on. Like my search history was like yours. It was nothing but Baldur's Gate and how to encounter different

encounters like like because you meet a guy in the road and he stops you and he's like a bully with a bunch of henchmen. That can play out so many different ways depending on what you do or say or who you are or what you're wearing. Like the game is coded in such a way that there's a ton of outcomes that you wouldn't think there are. You're like, okay, he's re if you're the same race as him, he's going to be like, what are you doing with this rabble, brother?

And you know, he might, he might like mention it, you know, and he might treat you better. But if things go bad, he's I think he genuinely wants to wipe shit on your face or something. I want you to he wants you to eat shit or something like that. He's like, eat that eat that dog shit like a dung eater. They love each other. Well, and if you're like intimidating enough, you can be like, no, motherfucker, you eat the dog shit He's like eating the dog he eats the dog shit it's great and I love the video games where like they clearly don't have a

robust enough dialogue for like the persuade or intimidate options because like you'll be trying to get into a city and Skyrim or whatever. And he'll be like, you know, stop, you've stolen five horses. You're under arrest. And then the options are like, no, uh, persuade or like, get the hell out of here before I kill you, intimidate. And then you select intimidate and there's no pushback. He's just like,

ah, and then we'll leave. There's no, there's no voice response. I like the juxtaposition between. So I played as a, I don't remember what the race is called. It's a dwarf though. It's like a midget. It's not maybe a hobbit. I might've played it. It's a little tiny person and it's a girl. It like a cute tiny little elf girl basically and uh and so when she would intimidate somebody she'd be like you better step aside and she'd make this cute little elf like elf girl mean face and it's like dude that's cute as shit but they'd be like oh let's get out of here boys like like trolls and goblins go go running because they're spooked by her little.

Oh yeah. I got my speech to like level a hundred with every perk on like this crazy high level Skyrim character. And the persuades were so funny because they would always pass no matter what it'd be like you'd talk to someone and you've sometimes you forget that you like really ruined some NPCs life earlier in the game a long time ago. And so I'll be like, I need to go talk to this lizard man and convince him to let this other person in his bar, this Argonian lizard man. And the first thing you say is he's like, well,

if it isn't the man who murdered my wife, Oh shit. What can I do for you? And then you say like, got any more, I need you to point me in the direction of the epic treasure, sir. And he's like, of course, you can find the treasure easily over a raven rock. And it's like, he was just snarling at you for killing his wife. And then he's helpful, because you're so

charismatic. See, Baldur's Gate gets that right. Like, it's, now I'm talking about it and I'm wanting to play it. Like, I may jump into a little bit of that later. It's so fucking good. The combat, I really like, it's turn-based, but it only begins, normally you're just running around and all the other characters are running around, but when combat is initiated, which you can choose the very moment by just hitting someone. So you get to set up all your party. You've got like a party of four and you kind of tell everybody where to stand,

knowing you're about to kill this group of guys and you because there's so much stronger than you. And there's so much so many more of them that you can plan kind of like a tower defense attack where, I don't know, you cover all their feet with oil and they slip and fall and then your wizard Sets them all on fire while they're slipped up in the oil. I like pushing people in lava. That's always fun They scream a little They die good It's one of those games where you can kill a character and all of a sudden huge swaths of story are closed off to you Now and it's like oh you killed Elga

closed off to you now. And it's like, Oh, you killed Elga. Okay, buddy. What does Elga do? She's the she's the star princess. Now you don't get to go to star princess land. It's like, fuck, I was just killing everybody in the house. You don't you don't know who you need to keep alive or not. Yeah, so you have to err on the side of keeping everyone alive because you don't want to ruin your quest. I always try to do a good playthrough. I haven't found a game yet that truly rewards the evil playthrough. What about like Fallout, like in Skyrim, where you can just rot, like steal? That doesn't hurt you unless you get caught. There's a whole karma system involved. There's a lot of things that... And then everybody shoot on site with you then. Every time you a lot of things that and then everybody shoot on site with you then you know every time you

upset one of those groups i mean and i suppose fallout i suppose in fallout you could side with a crooked like group or whatever but you can't play the game like you can't just walk into towns and killing people is clearly a no-no like no matter that's never going to pay off in the end just killing the townsfolk or whatever and i kind of wish it were i wonder if red dead redemptions like that at all I've seen people in that just massacre people It's a little the graphics that are so good that you like feel sorry for the NPCs Taylor play that I've played Red Dead Redemption To for a while. I never finished it It didn't it was fun, but it didn't suck me in as much as like some other open-world games

But yeah, you can just have people now Let next year have they made a date? I'll try that. I'll watch a review and as long as the reviews are terrible and they like fucked it up somehow, like I'm not going to buy it. But they've never made a bad game. Every game they ever made has been like a revolutionary hit. It's going to be a home run. That's what they do is they make good fucking games.

And the preview of it looked amazing. Well, and black ladies asses jiggling on the cars and such love the physics love the water physics, too And we did fall of 25. I'm sorry to interrupt. Yeah. Yeah, let's go I'm gonna play that game a lot that that game looks really fun. I never played a Five because you know five was very fun. That's the only one I've ever played and I enjoyed it I played a ton of Vice City back in the day I love that one. I played hours and hours of that just riding around and starting fights with the police Yeah, I played the early ones. I I thought it was neat that you could like bang a whore

What did it get your health back or something but cost you money and then you could beat her and get some of your money back Yeah Just fun for the whole family Yeah, like the third one is it called isometric? and get some of your money back. Yeah. Just fun for the whole family. Yeah, like the third one, is it called isometric? Whatever the third one was, where it was kind of top down and you sort of, it wasn't third person. You were kind of zoomed back a little controlling your character. I liked that one too. But when Vice City came out, I liked the Tony Montana vibes. I liked the Miami 80s vibes the cocaine and I like that music anyway that 80s So when I'm riding around in my fucking Corvette or whatever crushing people on the beach of a vice city

Listen to those 80s jams like that's so much fun Yeah, hmm. It is a fun. Just who cares game I see people playing it now and I don't even understand exactly what they're doing when they're I guess it's roleplay servers, but they're doing car races and Like talking to each other like like they're role playing and arresting one another and stuff I I just definitely don't know enough about the game to even understand what i'm fucking watching But it looks like it's a really adept game now I've seen the online play and it looks fun. But also it's like

I have to let this guy arrest me that's not gonna happen like I'm just gonna I will turn the game off before I go sit in a jail cell and play pretend I was saying I would like a game that was just like police officer simulator where you were dealing with traffic stops and and like like going through shifts of being a police officer and like some of the stops would just be regular stops. There'd maybe be some DUI stops. You know, you got to get the guy under control arrest him. But every now and then, like maybe one at 10% of the time, like you get a shooting event

like yeah, you have to find an amber alert car. That could be fun. Pedophiles. Yeah, you know, it's a it's a what do they call it in California when a black kid gets kidnapped? It's not an amber alert. I'm sitting in. Wait, they call it something different for black kids. Yeah, you have a different Ebony Ebony alert.

That's what Ebony Ebony. Yes. I'm awful. They is it. You need to know that it's a black kid who's in trouble. What do you say you actually go? Are you pulling my take it more serious you want to do you want to bet before you Google no That's a smart bet you're like, huh, California, they're pretty fucking loopy

Zach spoiled it for me. The Ebony alert is real It's brand new. That's so retarded. Why do you have different alerts for different races of missing people? Now they got a pink alert for transsexuals. That's when I go out and start looking for cameras. Pink alerts not for girls? Who cares if a girl's gone missing? If there's a transsexual out there who's who's who's who's lost missing Procured perhaps officer kyle's on the fucking case. I hit the road

I start looking for silver camrys and and and i'm ready to call them in silver camera. Is that the Is that the stereotype? Well, you know, you always get the amber. I get the alerts on my phone Even though I disabled it fuck you. Um, and it, it's like fucking silver Camry license plate, 37 alpha AR, you know, black juvenile nine year old girl, like missing slash kidnapped or whatever. Yeah. They never should have told me like on the news, how many Amber alerts are like, like a pissed off parents calling the police on the other parent, cause they have like a nasty divorce or something.

And so now when I see it, I always have that thought where I'm like, is this the real one or is this one of those statutory kidnapping? With unintended consequences. I'm sorry. I'm stuck on a minute ago. This is awful. There are a lot of people who will pay less attention to ebony alerts than amber alert this no this behooves the black this is misguided and will have negative unintended consequences they will look back on this as through their conspiratorial eyes somebody this is like not washing your hands in the hospital they had special alerts for black kids and people just didn't value them as much? I think.

The idea is the opposite. Yeah, you're right, that's a retirement. You're aware that the opposite is the intended effect. Yeah, the idea is the opposite, trying to give more attention. It's to prioritize that there's a black kid missing, so wake up. Yeah, it's to be like, hey guys, this is super serious.

It's not some whitey. Yeah. How, how, why aren't these alerts colorblind? But here's what I, my, my theory is that black people ignore Amber alerts. I, someone needs to steal man. And so if a black child has gone missing, I like Amber alerts. If a black kid goes missing, they're most likely going to be in a, maybe an area with other blacks, you would presume.

So they found amber alerts to be ineffective because blacks don't pay attention to amber alerts. But when they hear there's an ebony alert, there's like, Oh shit for real. And then they, you know, they, they look around. See what's like every time I get an amber alert late at night and I'm home, what am I going to do? I get out and get, I go out and start looking. You just go poking around nights of the night. I get dressed up for it. Yes. When he goes out there, I quickly came back from an Amberley.

He goes, prepare everyone with his bouquet. There's a little Ebony boy in danger. Time to save. I am kid to be terrified. I don't know how that one got past the goalie. I, right. And I hope that it makes sense and I'm not seeing it, but it doesn't make sense so far.

It doesn't make sense at all. But yeah, that's retarded. California does all sorts of retarded stuff. That's a wild one. Oh, diet sodas are giving us cancer. Fuck you, California. I don't need warnings on my aspartame beverages. They do a lot of stuff.

I give it some plus and minuses. I like their admission standards. Like they had huge smog issues that were just terrible. The whole sky was yellow in a dangerous way and they've improved it. I think I had, I saw a piece of machinery that had a warning on it that was like warning, this product may cause cancer in California.

And I thought myself good, cause I'm using it in Georgia. Yeah. Yes, we're safe here. Close one. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Yeah, they have any alert things crazy. I think I heard it on SNL. We should break it down to more races.

Let's get really granular with it. So if Amber Alert is white people in every... Every alert, everyone! Savages, they could be Ruby Alerts. granular with it so if amber alert is white people and every alert everyone savages they could be Ruby alerts whoa Ruby alert what do they know these man my racism didn't catch up to you no I would have like I would do like a burrito bead necklace alert. Cause they love those. They're going to see that and be like, Oh, someone's giving out beads. Yeah.

I'm not helping out with any missing persons at all. The Beiner alert. That's terrible. Zach. Okay. That's terrible. Doc is pay. What do you, that's, that's unacceptable. Unacceptable. We are, we are here only for the acceptable ones of Amber Alert and Ebony Alert. Oh my god. Extra high one. I saw or read it for article today. I read lightly into it, but the headline caught me.

There was a project, I think in the 50s or 60s, for getting rid of a lot of illegal immigrants. They rounded them up, mostly Mexicans, but unfortunately some real citizens citizens were into the mix and some innocent people who were like legally here. They got into the mix. They all got like kicked out. Project wetback. It's called project wetback. When I saw that, I was like, there's no way. There's no way. Who's in charge of naming projects? Zach will have to fact-check me. The article was written, and I don't remember the exact number, but it was like 60 years ago today. Project Wetback kicked off. 1954, Operation Wetback. That is so funny. Hollywood, there's a movie ready made here for you. You can't lose with that

title. That's the title of tonight's show. Operation Wetback? Operation Wetback? Question mark? There's no way. I can't believe I haven't learned about this. That is the funniest operation name I've ever heard. I don't think there's, man, they really got tired of naming them normal things like market garden and paperclip and high jump. The number of immigration enforcement actions. 1954 was a big one. They were not all immigration though.

Some of those were Americans apparently Yes, you know some slipped into the cracks. Well, then they just do as much smaller operation operation Repatriate grab grab those guys bring them back in the mix if they weren't you know damaged in the in the trip travel in the Operation yeah, and the operation went back in Operation Wetback. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm a historian. What's your focus? Operation Wetback. That's it. That's it.

You know, this guy has no interest of history outside of this one. He dabbles in World War II a little bit. He really only knows one side of it. He's incredibly defensive of it. Yeah. And that's why when like people talk about racism today, I just don't think it's as bad as it once was like, like it's just not like it used to be so much worse.

Yeah, of course it is. You know, it's been trending in the right direction. My whole, I think always there's never been a back step. Maybe you could say somewhere in the Trump administration Some people felt like we culturally took a step or two backwards with race relations But I think a lot of that's inflamed by Vladimir Putin over there I think he's was I think Russian propaganda and bots are responsible for so much of the infighting within America It's our own media line that does the most of that

They they pick divisive stories with racial bends because those get clicks and they have, they have people out there believing that these issues are so much more ingrained in American culture than they are because they see some interracial murder and it's only news to them because it's interracial. They enjoy stoking those things, getting the attention. Yeah, they're all right. And for CUMIA, dude, CUMIA's Twitter is up every now and then. Anthony Kumia. Getting the attention. Yeah, they're all writing for Kumia. Dude, Kumia's Twitter is up every now and then. I mean, once every six months, I'll log in and see what's

going on over on Anthony Kumia's Twitter. Holy shit. He's unrelenting is the word. Every day. Every day. Dude, he has a bunch of alerts on his phone black one day He was like it's a crime and it's written about anywhere in the country boom his phone immediately So and then he posts about it He goes hard in the paint every day. What's his motivation? Well, you know racism To do get people to dislike black people? Wake up America! He just posts a lot and he's like, oh, wake up. There's so much violence from these communities.

And it's like all day, every day. They took my radio show, god damn it! And it's like, Ant, Ant, go back to doing impressions. Do your Jesse Ventura again. Oh, he can't jump into those waters. Those are too deep for him. But that's, that's fucking Will, Will, no, he didn't. No, he has an incredible Jesse Ventura. No, he's, he's, no, Will Sasso. And there's another guy, Mark. It's not Mark Norman. Who is it? Who's the other guy that does one? Dan Soder. Dan Soder. Their, theirs are so much there. Their, their, their, theirs are on such another level that no one need like enter the room like it's a whole different thing. They sound like him.

They sound just like him. I've seen them do do the impression to his face and then him come back with that's pretty good or whatever he sounds like. And it's like, holy fuck, they are exactly alike. They've got it down so, so patent. Yeah. And Macho Man too. Soder does a really good Macho Man. Soder, the old clips of Soder on ONA, it was like towards the end of their run, because Soder's a younger comedian compared to a lot of the guys on there. So funny. So many, they have one in particular if anyone's looking for something to listen to. Look up Opie and Anthony,

KFC Dan Soder, where they cover a story about a little girl who was mauled by a pit bull and now had a deformed face. And she was sitting in like a KFC and some like monster like went to the manager and like demanded that the little girl be removed from the establishment because she was scaring the other customers. And it's like a six year old girl who was mauled by a dog. And it's just Dan Soder doing the funniest, like Southern deep voice guy impression was like, can you I'm trying to eat an entire bucket of slop over here.

Can you get that disgusting bony faced scarred up girl out of this restaurant for me, please? Oh, it's so fucked up. One line he said, he's like, that happened to him because God don't love now get her out of this. It was so, so fucking funny. That's a great clip. Sorry. To ruin the winds of it. You mentioned the dog mauling.

You did mention the dog mauling the child. It came to me. I watched this movie. I'm on my horror movie kit called the movie is called when evil lur when evil lurks its subtitles it's Spanish. I might have seen this. And I think it's some sort of demonic possession. You kind of jump right into the middle of the lore and you sort of learn the lore of the demons or the whatever like as you go like almost like you're everyone kind of knows what's what and you occasionally get a little exposition, but not a ton but there is a scene in that where a dog gets possessed by the demon and they sort of Give you context clues to let you know that it's happened because the guy takes his clothes off and his clothes may be contaminated We're worried about that. He's taking them off because they are contaminated by the evil and

The dog goes over and sniffs the clothes. And you're like, shit, I don't know about that. And that's a big fucking dog. It's this bulldog with a head that looks like a bowling ball. It's just perfectly spherical, just like a Pac-Man, like a Pac-Man head. And, uh, and he's there trying to get his kids and get them to safety. He's got like a, an autistic teenager and like a, like a four-year-old little girl and rounding those two up to escape the fucking apocalypse

is with an ex-wife being like not believing him is this incredibly stressful scene where everybody's screaming at everybody except for the new stepdad who's like rational. He's like, let's all calm down here, guys. No big deal. And he's like, it is a big deal. The world is ending. And like the whole time you're like, but the bulldog

What's going on with that bulldog? Cuz it's sitting next to the kid I mean like and they keep like showing you they keep cutting the camera over to the bulldog and the kid and the kids little This little delicate little girl and the bulldogs about the same size Maybe he's so fucking horsey and like and the back to the argument this is so stressful you piece of shit you're not taking my kids anywhere you don't understand Maria the evil has come and then all of a sudden the dog goes and bites the little girl's whole head and starts dragging her through the house thrashing and shaking our body. Oh my fucking God. It was, even though I knew it was coming, they, you know, was she okay? Funny enough, like it's a little bit of a spoiler, but like,

yeah, like when they found her again, the demon had like made her look normal and she looked at her mom and she's like, daddy's coming. And she's like, you're okay, baby. What happens? Daddy's coming with the truck. Boom. And she's like, what? And then the dad comes out of nowhere with the truck and smashes them both into a brick wall, like super gory.

Her face explodes and the dad dies too. They'd all been affected by the evil. Well, who wins in the end? Seemingly the evil ends in the end. That was just halfway through the movie. Those were just side characters getting involved. Those were side characters? Okay, so there was a more main character who defeats the demon. Oh, no. No, he loses in the end and the demons win, actually. It's a dark film.

I don't like that. I don't want to see the demons win. I like when the demons win. Dude, I want to see them win win a few that way I go in not feeling so like hey You can go either way here, you know go either way. I don't need to always know we're gonna get big I'd rather see like a killer get up like get away with it. I Yeah, I like it when the bad guys win sometimes because otherwise there's no point in watching it. You already know how it ends I watched this YouTuber he was an expert in medieval combat, my fucking YouTube feed. And anyway, they were breaking down

Game of Thrones battle scenes and how realistic they were. And one guy had me smiling because he was describing Jon Snow's plot armor as if it was armor. And he's talking about like, yeah, the plot armor on this one is fantastic. It apparently protects him from arrows and halberds and smashing and mud. And then I was like, all right, that's good.

Yeah. It's like, well, sir, the show wouldn't work if this guy just gets murked by an arrow. It's like the beginning of one battle. It should. It should. I love that. I like it when main characters die. I know I always praise it for it,

but Walking Dead, nobody's safe. As long as it's earned, which Game of Thrones did a good job of that. I wish I could wipe my brain of all memory of Game of Thrones and also wipe season seven and eight from existence entirely. Game of Thrones is better on rewatch. Season seven and eight were bad.

Okay, I'm not gonna argue that. But they are better if you watch them back to back, taking two or three in a day and just enjoy the show. One of the things that made season eight bad, for example, is episode three, you know there's only six this year? And every one you want to be an absolute banger. They made you wait a year and a half for six episodes. And now you're really invested and you want them to be bangers. And if they don't live

up to this really high Star Wars like expectation, you're mad. But when you're watching three today, and you're watching season eight in two days, you know, it's better. I'm so glad those douchebags didn't get that Star Wars show or whatever they they ruined Game of Thrones to do they got Three-body three-body problem. They made that instead. Is it good? What he watched it? Not a that good enough He's a fan of the book. So I think he's yeah, I'm biased. We like it and I think it's man Yeah, that's okay. Well, then it's truly bad because I've watched series like that We're like, I love the source material and then as I'm watching it, I'm like, I like it. No, I don't.

I don't like it. Fuck. That story is too high concept to be translated to TV. I genuinely think because there's just so much going on in the later book about just wacky fifth dimensional beings and crazy shit and, you know, weapons that fold space into two dimensions and it gets bonkers. I don't even know how you put all that on screen.

So have you heard the term hard science fiction? Sure, yeah. Okay, it's a new term to me. I didn't realize it, but there's science fiction where it's all Star Wars. Everything is fake and you're going faster than light and whatever. And then there's hard science fiction

where everything is based on the reality of our understanding of science right now. And three body problem is that. And it's really kind of cool to see them, like, I don't know, by the end of it, you get to these like expanding universes and micro black holes and all things that are theorized to exist.

And I've said many times, like my, my cognitive horsepower is just redlined keeping up with that book. And I was also like flying at the same time, but yeah. Um, yeah, anyway, it's hard science fiction. And I've learned that I really like that when I have the time for it. Um, there's a good book by Arthur C. Clark, who's kind of one of the big three of that kind of sci-fi called The Sentinel and it's technically

the prequel to 2001 a space odyssey and I believe the idea I've never read it but I believe the idea is that a von Neumann probe has been sitting dormant at Jupiter since the dawn of civilization and it was that that came down and made our ancient monkey-like ancestors take that next evolutionary step and then they waited at Jupiter for us to get to I guess they were waiting there until we were capable of getting there you know that was like a something they wanted us to be able to do before they would talk to us. I think that's part of the book, but it's the prequel to

the other one. And I think it's a I think it's about that, that technology and about the idea of like seeding civilizations and stuff. If a listener doesn't know what a von Neumann probe is, it's this satellite, I'll call it that goes into space finds the materials that it needs to build another one of itself and does so now there's two of them doing this and then there's four and then there's eight before long you take over the universe with these self replicating probes and it could be a mesh communication system it could be a military force who knows what yeah

they said that it would take like two million years for like self replicating von Neumann probes to sort of go to every star system in the Milky Way, like over like a geologic time scale like that, like at sublight speed, just going at like pretty fast. Yeah, but two million years is an amount of time that has passed many times over. So it's-

So why don't we see them? Yeah, right. Why aren't they there? Yeah, yeah. And you get into the whole, what is the filter paradox? I'm losing it. The Fermi paradox. And then there's the many explanations for that.

But the zoo hypothesis is the fun one. That they're out there, they're doing their thing, but we're like a quarantined off area because we're a promising civilization and they wanna wait until we're ready to join the galactic community of planets. I wonder how big they quarantine us. Is it bigger than our solar system? I don't know. I don't think they'd even bother. We've got to talk to Alex Jones about that one. They'd probably keep tabs on us and they would just move as they needed, right?

Because until like, what, 60 years ago ago they could have been real close in like they really wouldn't have to worry about it now they're probably like all right give them a little breathing room we'll go back out to like we don't have to go as far out as the moon because these fuckers clearly have no stick to it if nests they're not going back they can't be bothered to go to the fucking if they were in our solar system we wouldn't know like if they were just sitting there chilling you know like we would have no idea like we wouldn't see him Yeah, they can't even find those other planets that they can see the gravitational effects of and they're in our solar system Are you solar system? You mean galaxy maybe in our solar system in our solar planets in our solar system? Yeah, there's Nancy

Yeah, there's extra planets that we haven't found but we can detect the gravitational effects of them on the other planets They're how the rotation? Well, the rotations don't work the way they should work Yeah, there's extra planets that we haven't found, but we can detect the gravitational effects of them on the other planets. How? Well, the rotations don't work the way they should work. They're being influenced by something further out. If we're like whole planets from our solar, we don't know shit. Like that, that was so embarrassing if they were like, all right guys, we got to go up to 18 planets. We missed a lot.

It's a little bitty thing out there really far away. Turns out Earth, fourth rock from the Sun. Oh, if we found one on the inside that'd be really embarrassing. Oh, they'd have to fire everyone who's worked in the space industry and be like this is a humiliation you guys, we need all these space guys. I can see Venus out my window so I think we're solid there And I think I can Mars too. You can see you can see Mercury Mars Venus all with your naked Eye, you can see Jupiter sometimes and Jupiter. Yeah the moon the moon. Yeah Not not nearly as cool The Sun

Every morning I start my day with a three minute sun stare oh who was it that that wanted to point their assholes to the sun to charge up was that liver king there was some influence liver king yeah there's some influencer that wanted to like you know you like you like point your asshole at the sun because i guess maybe you don't normally get sun there and you're able to hyper absorb it. That, that, that good sunlight, maybe get a big butthole dose of vitamin D. You know, what's funny is like, it would be so easy to do that in a study and be like, look,

we had people who spent all day inside and they're less healthy than the people who sunned their buttholes. And it's like, do we, but are we sure that the butthole itself has anything to do with it? Because we know the sun is good. Like it gives you vitamins and energy and everything. So maybe not. Definitely the butthole thing, bro. Definitely. That'd be easy to account for. Well, I was sunning my penis and now I'm in jail. My penis in a local park.

Sending my penis is just my cover story. There's really a bunch of people around. Not even those are just a day in the sun. Those are my favorite police videos. They'll catch a guy jerking off in his car and they'll be like, sir, your pants are off. No, they're not. And it's like, I mean, actually's and he's like hoisting them up

like as he says no they're not and it's just like what what is this game you people think you can play? This uh that just reminded me of like a a loopy person. Do you remember that that picture I texted you of that guy fish tank is going right now and they have like a mansion this time. Do you see that black guy that they brought on? He's like a bisexual porn actor kind of like, yeah, bisexual that covers both of them. He's like a bull, he says. Like he has this whole little descriptor of himself that he does all these things. And he's also like things. Sam's fans pretty

quickly discover these people and all their information. Early on, on day zero, this guy goes into the bedroom and jacks off under the covers. He's been in the house for two hours and he's jacking off. So't act like it's weird. So far it's and so the the cover story on Bert on team Bert and honestly of everyone watching it everybody has that everyone loves Bert they think he's hysterical and so this guy it comes out that he has paranoid schizophrenia. Oh fuck. And so he's like walking around on camera, doesn't know he's being filmed like in all these places. And he's like talking to himself for huge amounts of time.

There's one like little Twinkie white guy in the house that he like is like sidling up to and like groping a little bit getting the credit. This guy, I think it's day four or five. I saw like, because they have a hashtag for it on Twitter. Someone's keeping track. This guy has jacked off nine times. Holy shit. And how many days? I think it's five days in a house full of other people that you don't know. And he just goes and he lays in his back under the covers and you just see his hand playing with his penis and he's jacking off. And then he's getting up, not washing his hands and like shaking people's

and it's so so gross dude we have found lock and load's first sponsored athlete oh we need to sponsor old bert and he's a big supplement guys let's get some lock and load to bert yeah if we can i need to find out what the address to the house is and i can have care of dare to send it over care about only bird's eyes only give them like, you know, I guess. Put some portables, give them a six week supply. But the cover story is this time they found people that largely have no idea what's going on. Like they're not fans. And so they think that they are on a show being recorded for Hulu. Oh, fucking no, they don't. Yes, they do. And can you bring up a picture of how Sam is dressed for

this, Zach? Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that all the contestants believe that they're on a legitimate reality show. They think they're on a legitimate reality show called Famous House, house where the winner of it is going to be Sam, uh, Jer, Jeremy Gold's, uh, uh, protege. Oh, it would be two months, not six weeks. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. So we need, I'll give them enough for the, and this is, and this is the affirmation, one of the ways that Jeremy Gold is, is dressing up.

And he's like, I watched a clip. Like I, I'm mostly going through clips but I actually had it live like so those are audio only he has he has just a ridiculous outfit on he has silly hats just a whole wardrobe he's wearing like a motorcycle jacket with a fedora here's a different fedora but he's got like he's dressed glasses and a vest and like oh, yeah a car. What do you call it? An ass? Is that an ascot? What is that a little scarf? Something like that, but he's like they don't have text to speech on none of that because they want to lull them into thinking

This is a real show that's like gonna be edited and everything and so these are like real people Yeah, they think they're in something called famous house. The guy I'm talking about is bottom middle. Shout out Bert. Bert rules. He's so funny. He's talking to himself nonstop. And one of the, like Sam made them sit down and do like 50 different versions of, so Sam came in, he's like, all right, guys, we're doing the pumpkin carve off here for a chance to win a TCL 65 inch TV. And the whole chat is like, holy shit, that's the $190 TV from Walmart. Like the worst quality flat. And so he comes in, he's like, this is brought to you by TCL. And then he like struggles to memorize every cell point there.

And he like, he makes them sit and watch him and respond and they have to sit there and they have to be impressed and clap. He's getting frustrated at himself because he can't remember all the specs for the TV and he's like breaking quote unquote character. People are getting kind of nervous around him. They have one guy in there who clearly doesn't have any idea if he's even a show he's on because he hasn't spoken. He's just eaten and sat on the couch for for days at a time now But these people are by far the most normal guy was just hungry that they've ever tricked onto the show

And that's I really like this by the way, dude That's the sun they had that sunken living room thing like we were talking about the other day Um, that's fucking cool. My see my idea for him was to go in the opposite direction to go more deranged I really like they have to slow roll it because otherwise they're gonna scare these people too much off the start Well, yeah, well his idea is genius because it it First of all, it's like the first step toward actually making a legitimate reality show like he's doing it kind of but then like having Normal people you're gonna get some better reactions than having fans there.

But I always imagined making it more of a competition. And I just think single wide trailers are really cheap. And if you had like 12 single wide trailers in a field somewhere, but they were connected like some weird fucking maze, like they were connected at weird angles and like not end to end to end, maybe some of them end to end to end maybe some of them end

to end to make long hallways but make some weird wacky fucking journey they had to go through um to me that just keeps coming back to me in my head it's like so much fun to watch like almost like you ever see cube the movie where the people are trapped in cubes yeah that's i've like i've literally seen through like they've learned not to go too hard because they went hard in the paint right away with people in season one and people were like freaking out and being like I can't be in here like racial slurs are being screamed at me people are like trying to dox me and find my family and so like now every season they've been more like we're gonna keep calm for a while make these people really think that they're a part

of the fact these people think they're on Hulu is so fucking funny and really they believe that and they're gonna open yeah like even if they've got one or two of them fooled that's that's a really good gag i always i love the reality shows that take it to that next level and those have kind of went by the wayside but the one where they tricked the people into thinking they were going to space that we've talked about before you remember that right yeah that's pretty it was the british. No, that was Howard Stern bit. No. Okay. Okay. So there was that's when he put a retarded guy in a fake cardboard spaceship. They shook it and told him he was going to space and he got scared. Okay. He thought he really went to space because he's retarded. But in England, they had a reality show where they told people you are competing for one of like four seats to go

to the space station because we've got this celebrity owned rocket company that's like it's all sponsored and they fly them to a Russian military base that agreed to like let them film there I guess and by the end they put them in a fake launch chamber and they they're in a fake space station Where they've told them they have artificial gravity. That's the thing that like but once they get up there some of them are like crying We're really in space. We're really in space They think they're in space, but they're in a fucking set and that looks like a space station and it's That and the Japanese one room the Japanese one where they locked the guy naked in the house

No Bro, how do you not know this? All right, first of all, there's a movie about it on Netflix I can't remember the name I think it's called the game show or the game or something They put this Japanese guy on a reality show where he's naked in a house Livestreams 24 hours a day more of a room like an apartment room and the only way he can Get out is when he comes up with a million yen worth of Like money from mail-in it from magazine ads

he has to like cut those things out of the backs of magazines and send them in and get a million dollars worth of free products or something and so he's like locked in there for months and months and products or something. And so he's like locked in there for months and months and months. And then I'm not sure if this is true, but I read that I think at the end when he thought he'd won, they just kidnapped him and threw him in a new house and made him do like the same thing again. So it really fucking happened. It's crazy. That's pretty, that's pretty out there. You always see those pornos where they're like, you know, they have the Japanese game show where they're fucking the ladies through the holes.

Now, I don't think that's really that seems like more of a fun game show. Oh, yeah. You'll probably never see any debauchery like that would be on your feet. On my on my feed. Not nothing but but you know, Japanese text game shows. Do you have a plan? Or the last thing on on the fish tank that the only text to speeches that have come over yet is like production occasionally when Bert is alone in a room only when he's alone. They are

using and they haven't revealed anything that there is a text to speech option and they know he's and they're saying they'll say'll say like, hi, Bert, like nothing but stuff like that. And he like is turning around like wild eyed and like looking for things. And then he's going downstairs and like, he's not telling anyone that he was. He's not telling anyone. Now, this is the big scary black guy, the biggest man in the show. This is the big guy. Yeah, they need Sam to come in and handle it. Wait, wait, wait a minute. This isn't the paranoid schizophrenic though. This is the paranoid schizophrenic.

Ah, okay. So it's the enormous paranoid schizophrenic that they are teasing by saying his name like a ghost from a hidden speaker. Yes. And he talks alone to himself all the time. And also to the other members of the house, he wants to be an actor. And he's like, yeah, I would love to play like rapists, murderers, but they like don't cast black guys in that right now.

And it's like really aggravating. And it's like, stop. You just met these people. Don't say this. What would you want to sublimit? What would you? And then this little white Twinkie guy like there he pushed like Burt pushed his like twin size mattress up to this other guys. And is like getting real, real close to this guy's spooning

him. He like, he likes there's a clip of him like the little Twinkie white guy was standing up and Burt's hand kind of followed the ass getting a little, a little grab there. This guy's horny as hell. And he just injected himself with something. And so he's on some kind of, what did he put it his butt? His thigh. Okay. What does that tell you? Nothing. I mean, you know, nothing. I'm just curious, I guess. He's a very fit guy. I mean, you could put steroids anywhere, you know, like anywhere where there's a big muscle. I've put them in my thigh before. That's what actually that's what the doctor tells you to do if you don't have like a, I don't know, like a Merrick health type doctor.

Like I know the first doc, I know wings, I think puts it in his thigh. I think he said that, but that may be, that may just be the leanest part of him. Yeah. I bet he's got a big old booty back there. You'd have a needle. Do they get heavy? No, I don't know if he can reach, can he reach around though and inject his deltoid I bet it's easy for him to inject his thigh. He needs to take a semi gluteid. I think it would change his life

Why doesn't he it's crazy that someone that that clearly has like a medically morbidly obese type thing going on like why wouldn't you take that and Is it injection? What is it? Yeah, it's like weekly injection an injection. Yeah. Yeah Is it injection? What is it? Yeah, it's like weekly injection injection. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you know that man that he can't pay for it Dude, come on, but go to China Yeah, I'm sure you get some online. I bet I bet you get some some some bootleg Ozempic, you know, you guys want to call it a show sides. My face are very itchy. All right, you'd be all right. He's fine It's Halloween we do five hours. Yeah, it's fine. Halloween Don't be a Halloweener. All right

He's totally a Halloweener look at it We've got another guest coming why are you trying to You know, yeah, dude Joe Rogan is gonna be so disappointed if we end the show before he gets here. I can't believe you said that to me. Out the lock and load makes you, it makes you come. Awesome. Pka seven 24. Merde.