Painkiller Already - PKA 726 W/ Dick Masterson: Woody Gives Jackie The Worst Christmas Present Ever

Episode Date: November 16, 2024

Pka 726 with one of the goat guests Dick Masterson Taylor This episode of pk is brought to you by blue chew our wonderful merch and the newly only six pills a day Not nine pills a day. Whoa, holy space Mary. Is that because we revolutionized the formula? It's because we revolutionized the formula. Wow, does that new formula make it not only more effective but better for you What Derek did was he actually found a German scientist living in Argentina. And got them involved. And we had our own little-

Does your dick grow a little mustache, like right over the hole? We're working on it. Oh, I shaved it back then. I really did a lot. I'm like- So Dick, before we jump into anything, I always like to ask, what are the big current feuds? Oh man.

Oh man. Talk about Revenge of the Jedi. You boys are all familiar with my two-year feud, well, Eric July's two-year feud against me. You know, he's been attacking me with his illiteracy and like making crappy comic books and you know, he called me the N word a couple of times. No.

Isn't that terrible? That's our word, you know, racists. That's our word. That word has kept us down for 60 years. Dick, you're not sejinated, are you? I am! Not with black people, but with Mexican people. That's fine. You're on our team now. The Saviors of America, yes, you're welcome. You're welcome, Kyle and Taylor and anyone else out there.

and anyone else out there. Thank you, Clayhart, for the two of you in there. Salute to our Latinx allies. Call us whatever you want. That's what they do in Latin. There's going to be two Cinco de Mayo's every year now. There's the normal one in Mayo, and now there's December, Cinco de Mayo. Just FYI, Woody. Thank you. Perfect, Mario.

He was talking about suing you. Yeah, I was talking about suing me. That turned out to be bullshit. But then he got my he got my friend Riley, who was dressing up in like a little cape and taped like 40 bucks to his warehouse store, his comic book warehouse. Just a mess with him. He shot a little video and like this. Why $40? Like, what's because Eric, Eric to mess with him. He shot a little video and like this. Why $40?

Like what's the- Because Eric, Eric was ignoring his $40 super chats or something like that. So he went and shot a video like a, hey, I'm like a WWF style. Like, hey, I'm here to shave your shoulders with my giant scissors, wearing like a costume. And then Eric called the police and he's been calling the police like every month saying that Riley was stalking him yeah so he finally got the cops to arrest this guy and the police offered him a plea like we're gonna yeah that guy Eric so Eric told the Eric July told the police that he's deathly afraid of that gentleman right there and then he's like significantly shorter than the girl.

Yeah, the guy who's he's about five three. He weighs I don't know. He's got the build of my Labrador my English lab. Nothing wrong with that. Don't believe it. Does he look terrifying? I mean Kyle you're not allowed to have guns anymore, right? Or would you be afraid of that guy? Nah, for sure.

You grab him by those twisters and he's in so much trouble, dude. Like you get a big handful of that beard. I don't care how tough he is. He's gonna cry like a girl. Hear that thing a twist? Look at him. Yeah, well, Eric told the cops. If he were outside your house with giant scissors like screaming You might be like Damn, I don't have my tights. I can't really do a tag team match today Eric July had a meetup and Riley went to the meetup in his cape and like tried to get yeah I hate to interrupt you a second. Yeah

But while you're doing this look at this thick woman in the background god damn all right continue yeah I'm so worried about that one. No I get it you live in a mansion, it's rare for you. Man imagine how hot she would be if she just lost like 60 pounds. Right? That's where you have that in the field of divide the two jacked arms. Oh no. There was a day where I there was a day where I did not think that and then that was the last day I ever had the I ever didn't have the thought man if she could only lose 60 pounds how hot would that chick be? So the cops arrest Riley went to Eric July's meetup And then Eric July called the police and it turned out Eric July had taken a had gotten a warrant out

For the arrest of this little this little guy in the Cape this little cartoon man in the Cape. Yeah, five three For domestic violence laws like for cyber stalking and harassment, which obviously he's not doing because those two posture on that guy on the right. So the cops were laughing at it. They're like, this is retarded. Like these laws are to protect women against men. They're not to protect like retarded Internet comedians from having flame wars with each other online. So we all thought it would go away.

But Eric decided to press charges. Riley went before the judge today and they said alright you smart ass here's the plea deal we're offering you so we don't have to go to trial and Riley said fuck you fuck the plea deal we're going to trial I'm bringing Eric July in so he has to testify that he's afraid of me that's where we're that was today which there's no way Eric July saw coming because he's been up in his ivory tower pretending to be black selling shitty comic books for the last year Which there's no way Eric July saw coming because he's been up in his ivory tower Pretending to be black selling shitty comic books for the last year thinking that thinking that he'd won

Thinking that he'd frightened us and to stop me making fun of him, but he was wrong. We're still doing it Eric We're still making fun of you And now you're gonna have to testify in court that you're afraid of Riley the five foot two fat ass Riley you're gonna have to tell the record the official record your permanent record that you're a that you're afraid or else Or else or else you're going to jail You're going to jail you're sending you to get my There's been a great day guys. We're all celebrating today because of it the switcheroo You know glad to see you're so happy with this Yeah

What is this gonna happen? What's the next court date? Do we know January 21st and Yeah Right after Trump gets in so it's gonna be you say wham Trump gets in I'm gonna be in my truck rounding up illegals and driving them to the border and then shoving them out in my truck rounding up illegals and driving them to the border and then shoving them out. You're family's never so mad at you. And I suggest you bring like three forms of ID when you do that. Yeah, I'm actually gonna paint my face white like white chicks, you know? Oh dude, if you were the legal immigrant or the legal that got deported, that would be hysterical.

They'd all point at Dick and they'd go, Cajote. No! Hold on there, Mexicans, officers, Frappuccino, Stanley Cup, the office. And they'd say, ah, he's not a, get out of here, buddy.

Go back to white. It could legitimately be the test. It'd be like, name three Go back to white. It would legitimately be the test to be like name three and H.A. I think. Yeah. And that would be the guard also only knew three. Put the line on. Love is blind. Yeah. So January 21st, I'm going to I don't know. I think I'm going to go there.

If it's if the trials one day, we might as well go have a big party. Right. Whether whether Riley goes to prison for aggravated teasing on Twitter or whether he gets off and Eric July has to tell the world that he's terrified to to death of this goofy goofy jackass little doofus. Well, that's funny. What are the things? What happens if it goes wrong for Eric July? If it goes wrong for Eric July, I guess he would be found in contempt or perjury. I don't know And menacing or oh for my friend if it goes wrong for Riley Riley Yeah, then he he might get like a weekend in jail

And a $40 fine or something like that. How bad is that weekend in jail? You did one of those, I think. It depends what you look like, I guess, and it depends on the jail. But I think it's gonna suck no matter where you go because there are no like, oh, this is kind of nice jails. He has a really soft looking mouth.

Is that good for him? That's really good. I don't think you'd get punked out in jail unless you go to like the worst of the worst right like like it'd be hard to get turned if you turn into a bitch in jail you just wanted to suck a dick overnight yeah your sucking dick you suck a dick in the drunk tank I think you just need to accept some facts about yourself, you know what I mean?

It's not gay when you're in prison! You're in there for six hours, Tony! You guys are giving me a lot to think about. You know that would be funny if Riley like amps up the troll thing when if he goes to jail and those guys are not Eric July. What the fuck did you say to me? I'm trolling! I'm trolling, trolling. Oh dude, it's so funny.

Like imagine, I mean, Kyle, you have experience with like prosecutors and court and stuff. Just imagine the prosecutor that offers him this plea deal for this absolutely stupid case because they won't drop it, right, against him. So they give him a plea deal. So when's the time you're a prosecutor? They don't want to deal with it. Yeah. Yeah. And he says, no, I need a jury trial in front of my, you assholes, like, cause they abused this privilege, you know?

Yeah. Can I say like, like it depends on a lot of stuff. What's the locality that this is taking place in? Like what city or jurisdiction is, is handling the charges? Uh, it's's near Dallas. I think it's Collier County or something. Okay, so is it like a small suburb court or is this like a big magistrate court and like a... I think it's in the middle.

It's not like small town like shit kicking Hicks. It's like right in the middle. It's not the big one either. So like when I went to small town shit kicking Hicks court, they didn't give a damn like about anything. They're just, it's just a room full of assholes. Like it's unruly and the judge wasn't even qualified to be a judge.

It was scary. But when I went to real court, if you waste those people's time, like they'll have a vendetta out after you. It's like, if you upset that prosecutor, she might like take the judge aside and be like, let's get this guy. You know, like it's not like they don't know each other.

It's like, when you go into the criminal justice system, just to put it in MMA terms, it's like you went to Japan to fight in a pride fight and you're the white guy, okay? Like everybody there speaks Japanese and they've known you were coming for six weeks. Nobody thinks you're the white guy, okay? Like everybody there speaks Japanese and they've known you were coming for six weeks. Nobody thinks you're gonna win because you're not gonna win.

Like this is set up against you. It's a big money-making enterprise they got running in that courtroom. And they love- It's risky. It's risky what he's doing. But man, if we can get Eric on the stand. Is he, is this guy,

because I was- Stand? My favorite part of your whole, I guess, war with this guy and his comic books. It's his war with me. I was, I'm just a counterpuncher. I'm just reacting. You're just the guy that's hanging out. That's all I see is a flurry of constant counterpunches. constant counterpunches. I'm being attacked all the time. He is.

That's true. You know, you have you have a lot of fun. You need a halo, Dick. There are tweets I read from you where I'm like, he's like looking at this laughing, hoping people are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Makes me laugh.

Well, it's been like seven days of just euphoria. I don't know if there's like a medical limit for how much joy a man can experience before he dies, but I must be at it because I've never like I haven't even thought about drugs since last Wednesday. It's been it's been crazy. You've been so high on like people being mad on social media. Yeah. There's a lot of them. A lot of people are really, really losing it. Yeah, and then Don Lemon quit today and he said he got AIDS, I think was part of that. Or I don't, I didn't read it. Is that what he said?

I didn't read it. Is that what Don Lemon said? He said he had AIDS? I think so. I heard someone say that Don Lemon had AIDS, but I have no idea myself. An AI said it. No, I actually see the comment here.

It's from SS. Yeah, Waffen Hitler. Yeah. SS W I actually see the comment here. It's from SS. Yeah. Hitler. Yeah. SS Waffen, Nick Stoppard. It's from SS Dribbles fan, 14. Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha.

Jesus. What did he quit? I didn't know he had a job, Don Lemon. Yeah, he quit Twitter. Oh, he quit Twitter, okay. And then he made a big video about it, and he wrote on his gay letterhead, he wrote like on his gay letterhead, he wrote like, on the official homosexual letterhead,

he wrote like an I'm quitting Twitter missive to be consumed immediately. Yeah, to take effect immediately. It's as if like you have to announce when you're leaving a social media site. You could just leave and then come back later. Like you don't, there's no benefit to being like, I'm leaving because I'm sad. And it's like, eventually you're going to have to come back because all the Twitter mimics don't actually get traffic.

He didn't just delete his account. Like I'm 99% sure that Don Lemon had like a contract with X to do his show there. Like I think that his show is done there. Cause I know there was that kerfuffle where he had an interview with Elon and I think it was part of his deal to come there and the Elon the the the Elon interview was very contentious. Yeah. And it didn't go over super well. And then with this loss, like, dude, this has got to be a hard loss for because those guys have been just screaming for months and months about how evil Trump is and how it's the end of democracy, you know, just like they can play those montages of sharp as attack or smart as a whip,

whatever they said Joe was forever. Now you can play those montages of end of democracy, end of democracy, end of democracy. And then you see Joe Biden and Jill Biden just snuggling up the old Trump and spending an extra hour in their meeting and having a good time by the roaring fire. And it's like, wait, isn't that Mussolini? Yeah. Dude, Joe Biden had like his ice cream eating smile on,

talking to Trump. Nobody's happier than Joe Biden right now. And honestly, like good for him. Yeah. Good for him. I mean, he's gotta be pissed. They push him out and then they lose badly. He's gotta be sitting there like- I think he was gonna lose too, but yeah, I guess he'd rather lose than be pushed out and then they lose badly. He's got to be sitting there like. He was gonna lose too, but yeah,

I guess he'd rather lose than be pushed out and lose. Yeah, like to him though, it's like, I won last time and then they shoved me out. And so get fucked. You betray old Joe and this is what you get. Even if he would have. I imagine old Joe does even worse, but you don't know if he didn't try.

You don't know if he didn't try. It's like a fist fight. It's like if you pulled him out of a tag team match and then the person you tagged in just shits the bed and you're like, man, I kind of wish I'd stayed in there. I had a little more juice. Jill is the one who's mad though. I think Joe is kind of in this accepted place

where it's like, ha ha, you made your bed, sleep in it folks. But Jill, she was from what, from what I gathered from CNN and all the news sources when there was that time that they were being pressured for him to drop out. But he hadn't done so yet. Jill Biden seemed to be a big part of like, no, we're team Joe. We're riding with Biden.

We're staying in there. And so I saw that footage of Kamala sitting next to Jill Biden and they didn't greet each other when she sat down. They didn't look at each other, like Jill is like stone faced straight ahead with her sunglasses on. It's like, I don't think they're happy with each other. I think there's a lot of tension there.

I've mostly been saying like, all right, these appointees aren't my cup of tea, but if I was a Republican, I would be cool with these until Matt Gates. Oh yeah. That one, the pedophile as a turn as district attorney or attorney general, I meant to say. Go ahead, Kyle. What do you want to say? I want you to finish your thought. I just want to go next. Oh, I thought I would go next. I'm like, this is the one that seems the hardest. Kevin McCarthy is sure he won't get nominated, but Kevin McCarthy is wrong a lot. And he's the one that he's,

when I look at the score, Kevin McCarthy doesn't seem to acknowledge that he's lost, right? He's not in the house anymore. He's certainly not the house leader anymore. Matt Gaetz is the guy who, you know, quit, quit his job so that the ethics report wouldn't come out on him, but they might still release it. And I was hearing about it today, that woman came and testified for hours that he raped her repeatedly. And we have the payment for him. Lady of the night. Yeah, she was from Seeking. So she considered herself a sugar baby. She's one of those whores who doesn't acknowledge that she's whores. With his giant hair like lurking in the shadows, in doorway. You know, all right, baby daddy's home

like with fucking mom from robots and from future Alma, right? That giant hair. It would have been legal in Florida, but he trafficked her to like the Caribbean or something to fuck her. The man law. And now he's, is he gonna get away with it?

I don't know. Like in the very short term, his misdeeds have come to light even more. But in the long term, we'll see. So my opinion on that is that Matt Gaetz will not get confirmed. The Matt Gaetz appointment is subterfuge. It is, look at this thing over here. Look, he made Himmler the fucking attorney general and everybody's going to let him ignore some of his other stuff that's maybe a little contentious and they didn't agree with this much. If you're right and I considered that too, then Matt

Gates is the big loser in this thing because now he's not in the house and he's not attorney general, he's just unemployed. So my thought process on that it was that if he were to stay in then that investigation, so the DOJ dropped charges against him. The Biden DOJ. Okay. Yes, they investigated, they found nothing they could charge. It's probably a better way to put it because I don't think there ever were charges,

charges filed against him. I don't think it was an indictment, but they investigated and they found nothing to charge him with and there aren't any further charges. So the only investigation that's currently happening is the one within the house. So him dropping out makes that null and void. And so suddenly he's free and clear of that.

And so either he's going to step in and be the attorney general. Let's hope not, I guess. Or he's going to just write off and write books and be a Fox News analyst now that he's retired. And the investigation's over. Well, what if the investigation was going to find something that was going to be really bad that that was going to open up a municipal or civil judgment potentially against him in the future. Maybe but like just from what we can see like we know Gates is a big Trump loyalist and so if it was like some subterfuge to get him out of the house and then also make him

not attorney general it's like you effectively just lost a powerful loyalist in the house for the cost. What if to Cal's point, he was leaving the house either way because the ethics committee was not going to be in his favor and now he has a better way to leave the house. That's possible, too. Yeah. Like I, I have no idea. The Venmo payment is public, right? Guys, I think what you're forgetting is to catch a criminal, you need a criminal.

Yes, you need a good criminal. You need the worst. You never seen the hard-boiled detective show? Yeah, you need a guy who's doing it right out in the open because so are they. So he will 100% get confirmed. Yeah, but they didn't get Hannibal Lecter a badge and a gun though.

They wouldn't talk to him about the look-aloo Hannibal Lecter a badge and a gun though. They wouldn't talk to him about the political. They should. That would be a better movie. Hannibal Lecter is smarter than every person in our political process. He'd take us all for a ride with his. You know what? Hannibal Lecter would be in there for like three minutes and then it would be trending on Twitter. It'd be like, this guy's fucking eating people. Are you serious? His name's Hannibal and he's eating a misty. He balanced the budget though, man. Who cares?

He balanced the budget. I've been looking for silver linings. Vivek and Elon Musk doing the Doge thing. Let's hope that turns out well. And Ron Paul. I'm glad Ron Paul's in the mix. Ron Paul, what's he doing? Oh dude, Ron Paul, right before the election,

Ron Paul came out and said, you know what? Yeah, I don't think any of these people are good or for freedom, but if you're cutting down the government, I know exactly where the bodies are buried. Call me in, put me in, coach, and I will help you every step of the way. And it's been, ever since the election, every day, Ron Paul's getting in more and more,

which for guys like me me guys who you know Grew up and really loved the whole idea of America And then it came crashing down on us like a fucking piano and a Roadrunner cartoon This is like this is I mean this is like Christmas is real territory like Santa is real Of the Trump administration that I'm excited about like I hope this goes well Yeah, yeah, doge with the doge First of all, I would recommend anybody out there, $500 worth of Dogecoin real quick. Go ahead and knock that out because Doge is going to be getting

a lot of Google trends as he cuts $2 trillion out of the budget, as he says. But I think that this is kind of a shitty job for Vivek. It's a made up position, really, if we're being honest. This isn't secretary of whatever or like ambassador to who's he wants it, like this is a shit to your position. This is the made up thing that you give your buddy.

So, cause Elon has 18 different jobs, he's not gonna be spending a ton of time on this. This is a position where he can kinda come and go as he pleases. So to give Vivek this is a little insulting, if you ask me, but I hope they do find ways. I hope they do a good job. They're taking applications for doge agents on Twitter, on Twitter. There's an official government X account now and it's like it's doge.

And I think it even has the doze dog on it to be extra goofy and it and it says something like we're taking these kind of applicants you'll work these hours blah blah blah cutting out government waste and inefficiencies uh elon and vivek will look over the top one percent of applicants personally do you have to be a blue check mark to apply for the job because i saw on reddit that you do need to pay Elon eight dollars to apply to work there. But it's Reddit and I don't just take that at face value. You know, I mean, when you when you get idea though,

yeah, rental applications cost money, you don't want just you don't want the thing getting flooded with useless clutter that would make that would defeat the whole process, right? Then you end up with a new Mountain Dew flavor being Hitler did nothing wrong yeah don't usually cost money but rental applications do that's so you can rental application we're talking about or we just tried to like stretch it I'm just giving it you go on like an application to cost money to put it no Woody if you go on like freelance sites it's they money to put in. All right. No, Woody, if you go on like freelance sites,

they all have those like boost your profile thing. I mean, I don't know, I do a lot of freelancer hiring and it's to the point where if you don't pay for one of those, you're not getting looked at. Like everybody who, you know, you go through the first 10 or 20 and then those are all boosted. I see how that fits.

Makes sense. Otherwise you get 100, thousand Indians applying for everything. Either way, like I hope they, I don't actually believe they're going to keep a public list of all the retarded nonsense our government spends money on. That was like part of the promise. But if I can't think of a more compelling way to like win people over into that cutting waste thing,

then to actually have a public list where it's like, Hey, did you know that we spent $330,000 for Bosnians to learn how to square dance in a culturally appropriate way or like whatever the fuck nonsense it's like just Oh, do you know, how much do you think a door hinge costs at Fort Bragg? If you guessed $35,000, you're almost there. It's 40, like just the ridiculous nonsense where we get taken for a ride. That's criminal though. I'm sorry, are we talking about cutting?

Trump's talking about cutting disability for veterans, which on the surface sounds like, oh my gosh, you know, like that these poor people. But if you know any veterans, they all get disability for like a fricking sore elbow from playing softball, you know, like while they were a service, like dude, it's a job that pays for life seemingly.

And I just have so many veteran friends and most of them are getting disability afterwards and a lot of them have like really athletic jobs. And... They brag about it too. Yeah. Yeah, you know? Like when they're still in there,

they're like, oh my God, did your fucking pinky finger hurt? Get that documented. You'll want that documented for when you get out and apply for disability. And like it is a widely done scam, just fucking scam is scam can be. And if Trump takes away veterans scam. I mean, those are our heroes, right?

I hope he does that. Like, there's a huge difference between like someone who's actually like, so mentally fucked or so physically fucked that they need this assistance and those people need it 100%. But there are people like you're talking about who sweep their ankle and then for the rest of their life they're not crazy. Pussy.

I was thinking you could just have some guys sneaking around throwing firecrackers at their feet, dumping them out of wheelchairs, stuff like that. Like if they- You want Antifa to come back? It's genius, Kyle. Antifa can handle this. Yeah, it's it's their bag

But they enjoy this kind of ruffian behavior the anyway So I mean somebody needs to make sure these veterans aren't aren't stealing like what he says This is I mean or welfare fraud all sorts of fraud out there. Mmm. How does water fraud work? Do you pretend you have kids you don't really have or where you be black and you get money? You basically get paid under the table and pretend you don't really have or? You be black and you get money. You basically get paid under the table and pretend you don't make any money. Like a lot of the legals work on, the legals qualify for Medicaid housing vouchers and WIC, which is food.

And so even if they make enough to support themselves through like under the table cash payments, they'll pretend not to. And then we got people double dipping. When I was 19. Have you guys ever gone to a food bank? Oh, I see, all right. No. Oh, man, I heard, like, I always thought it was like

really ghetto, or I just assumed it was. But then I heard that people were, I don't know, they framed it as taking advantage of it because you show up and get free food and these people didn't need it. But so now I'm thinking maybe I'm like leaving money on the table by not going to food banks because I'm really cheap, really cheap. So I kind of need like approval to go do it from somebody. Did you see this like there's like a viral clip

that this person was some Indian guy posted and like he thought it was going to be like a life hack style clip that people would enjoy. And he was like guys, you're not going to be like a life hack style clip that people would enjoy. And he was like, guys, you're not going to believe how I am saving money in the United States. One stop buying food. Step two, go to all local churches. They are all over the place, believe it or not. And you walk in and say, I want food. And they give it to you. Yeah. I've been doing this for five years and it's like everyone's like what the fuck is wrong with you? It's not what this is for. I gotta hide it though if I do it. I can't tell my girlfriend. That's too much. I used to go to tons of like Goodwill's type stores

to get TVs and shit to blow up and every now and then I'd be like, can we, we could still shop here, right? Cause that's a bargain. Like. That ties in. I was starting to tell my other story and I got that one too. When I was young and broke, like just getting started in life,

I tried to buy shit at Goodwill or something like Goodwill and they wouldn't sell to me. I wasn't broke enough. What? My money's not green. Yeah. And then I lived in this. What did they say? Wait, how did that come up?

I literally, there was a couch. You're walking in there with like a spat and a top hat. All I had was like a shitty futon that like was susceptible to racking forces and shit. Like you couldn't use it and it wasn't comfortable. And I wanted a couch and I was like, can I buy this couch? They're like, no, no, no, you have to qualify to buy here.

And I'm like, fuck. Like I made $14,000 a year. Now granted that was the 90 can I buy this couch? They're like, no, no, no, you have to qualify to buy here. And I'm like, fuck. Like I made $14,000 a year. Now granted that was the 90s call it what? 25,000 a year nowadays, still broke, right? That's not a good living. And I was barely making ends meet. I lived in low-income housing and I didn't get a break on the rent.

And again, they're like, oh, 14 grand a year. Yeah, that's low income. All right. But everyone who actually gets a break on the rent is earning zero. Like zero. They're just lying. No one earns zero. How can you earn zero dollars a year? But that's what it took to qualify for low income housing. And I just never got a handout.

Yeah. People like you, the hard workers getting fucked over by the people taking advantage of it. It's not fair. So Mr. Arang-Skwami is- How long did you go without a couch then since you couldn't afford or qualify for the- Well, I had the food time, so I don't know. Probably less than a year, but-

God damn it. You just go like, I'm not poor, I'm a Buddhist. And that's why we're going to fuck on my mattress on the floor tonight. Girl, I'm out of the bar. That's it. I had a fuck on my mattress on the floor tonight. Girl, I met at the bar. I had a mattress on the floor. That didn't have money.

Dating on hard mode is such an unappreciated skill. I just I'll never forget that guy that I knew when I was working in Atlanta when I was 19, he must have been 23 or so. And I've told the story before before so I'll be quick about it But like he had moved from Pennsylvania down to Atlanta following his buddy because they were but they there's a group of three friends and one of the friends was chasing the girls all three of these male friends moved down to like be be the three amigos and This guy couldn't afford to ship all of his belongings down. He could afford the plane ticket

He could afford first month's rent. Then he needed to get a job. And then eventually he paid to have his stuff in storage in Pennsylvania shipped down to him and fill his apartment out. Well, he didn't really take selling cars. And so he didn't sell any for a while. So the storage place sold his belongings to whoever, whoever. Yeah, they auctioned off his belongings,

like one of those Discovery Channel shows, you know, just all of his shit. And I mean all of his shit. So I went over there one night to hang out with the three of them. We're drinking beers, hanging out on the balcony and shooting shooting firecrackers were all like, I think I'm 19 and they're like early 20s, 21, 22. And at one point I went back and because Travis was like, have you seen dude's bedroom? And I'm like, no, why? He's like, come here, let me show you something. And I go in there and he has an air mattress with a sleeping bag. And those are his only possessions.

Oh, wow. His only possessions are an air mattress. And it's flat, dude. It's flat as a flitter, as my grandma would say. It is all the air is gone out of this fucking thing And then there's a sleeping bag on it and I swear to God he got pussy on that thing one night So I can top that I want a girl back and fucked her on it. I was married and Jackie was pregnant so I was flat and I got her we didn't have box springs We just had mattresses on the floor of our bedroom because I didn't start off wealthy.

So Christmas rolls around and I'm like, I'm getting this woman mattresses because she's pregnant. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed. And she thought that was a bad Christmas present. She just doesn't understand utility. You got her a second- Did you get her a card? A box spring, a box spring.

It's a ceiling! Honestly, Woody, that's in great material. You got something you needed and she should have appreciated it. I hope she apologized profusely. I'll bring it up and see. You should bring it up. Woody, your wife was pregnant and all you had was a mattress on the floor? Yeah.

Oh my god. It's like Oliver Twist. What century was it where you were living this poor? That's terrible. 1995 maybe? No, no, we were married in 96, so maybe like 99, 98. Wow. Those are hard years for the economy. How many box mattresses do you have now? I don't know. All we need. Or that you can count. He's flush with them. Yo, go ahead and brag, Woody. Tell us how many Christmas trees you have. Tell us how many Christmas trees you have.

I don't know what this year will bring. We tried to tone it down last year. What did I have? Five Christmas trees? Something like that? You did. You were upset about it and it made me laugh. A man's got a half dozen Christmas trees.

Each more grand than the last. If you got your wife like a box spring part, would that be like sentimental for her? Would she be like, oh Woody, this is all I ever wanted. Happy anniversary honey. Your Christmas situation reminds me, I don't remember what- They're a box spring made of gold. I don't remember what show or like maybe a comedian or something said it, but someone was like, dude, can you imagine how much fun moving would be if you're a chick? You just get to like play

Sim City House and just tell people to move things where you want. Like it would be the best situation ever. You carry a handful of throw pillows and you go, oh, that 1300 pound couch, that every time you pick it up, it reclines on its own and it pinches your hands. I actually want it down, no, I want it upstairs again, actually. It's like, you fucked your bitch. Why have you done this? I can't believe you've done this. I got movers that last time and I actually felt like bad telling them where to put things.

I felt like, I mean, they're getting paid. I'm paying these people and like and pretty well. And I'm tipping them on top of that. But I'm like, hey, that that that king sized mattress that's impossible to hold. Yeah, that one. I need that one to go up the narrow staircase that doubles back on itself. And I need it now.

And I need and I need to do it now. So because I've already put the box springs together and I need to put it all together because it's taking up space. Could you hustle that on up there? And he's like, Mark, the guy says we got to do the mattress right now. I'm like, well, yeah, yeah, I do actually. Yeah. And when I got the cable put in, it was the same thing.

He put it in the wrong spot before I could tell him the right spot because I was out running other errands to move into this place. And I was like, hey, that doesn't go there. And he's like finishing up. And I'm like, he's like, what? What do you mean? I'm like, that goes upstairs because I need to direct connect upstairs in my office. And he's like, like audibly like so upset. And then he just goes, he just turns his back to me and goes starts undoing all of his work and I felt like such a piece of shit but it's like that's where it goes in lieu of payment I ordered you guys one medium pizza just do something like that I always like get those guys like I ask if they can have beer because I don't care if they drink and drive once they get their shit to my place you know what I mean so uh it's neither here nor there it's not

not your problem I'll usually get them beer and pizzas and then tip them because it's it's hard work I've I've had I've had it done twice and I've done it by myself three or four fucking times because I'm not a pretty girl dude I've moved by myself so many times those king mattresses like I've moved by myself so many times those King mattresses like oh my god. It's such awful dreary work I mix the it makes the if you have like a big foam King mattress It like makes the tips of your fingers hurt because you have to grip so super hard to keep a purchase on the mattress Yeah, I learned after a while you go on Amazon you get these mattress bags that like it's like a big sandwich bag for your mattress that has handles on the sides.

And you can even vacuum seal your big foam mattress to make it really easy to handle again. It's just so much easier. Or you could pay two guys $300 and they'll handle it for you. I moved a lot when I was young because I always applied for jobs and anytime someone offered me more, I just left like 32 grand. These guys paying me 30.

I'm being robbed. That's what I do. I moved to another state, get a new place. Exactly. I moved back and forth from Jersey to Pennsylvania four times. And, uh, uh, so I would just like, oh, look at this. Here's a end table with glass doors that open up. That's just not the kind of thing I should own. I move every six to nine months. That's how I lived.

So you were just Ikea, super efficient kind of stuff. Yeah, you know, I don't know. I wanted barbells or like weights and stuff, but it's like, dude, if you move every six months, home gym's not for you. That'd be a nightmare. That's that's a fear in your life for calisthenics. Exactly.

Get yourself a pull up bar. Yeah, I miss that feeling. I remember moving all the time. Like, all right, it's been about nine months. Time to start looking. I miss the feeling of having nothing that cause I knew I was going to move. And soon now you're gonna leave Cali now I feel like I live in like a mausoleum like a Egyptian pyramid

I've got so much shit in here you do your place is very chintzy yeah I imagine every room is like this stuff all over the wall like a TGI Friday can you see yourself like moving to a different state or are you because of family probably no No, every time. I feel like most people move to LA or Mexico, right? Every, yeah, I'm either move, I might get deported, Taylor. Oh no. See, and I'll be happy to do it if it happens.

No, I, every time I leave California, I just think, God, everybody here is so fucking fat. I don't, I can never live. In California? I can never live. No, everybody outside of California is too fat for me to be around. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever I go to California, it's a ego check for me.

Like, oh my God, I walk around Raleigh thinking I look okay. And then I go to Hollywood and I'm a dump. Oh, I don't need to walk around pretty people. I know what the score is. Like it's fine. You know, the pretty people can stay over there. I'll be an okay looking guy in the Midwest. I love California. The anti California people are, they really kind of annoy me too. It's

like, uh, what do you love about California other than the weather? Uh, there's a lot. We got every kind of terrain there is out here. You know, we got beaches mountains snow river fishing camping as a desert It's we've got like, you know, you played Grand Theft Auto 5 that's like where I live. It's great I refuse to play that character Trevor or the Which one? I didn't know I didn't know there was a white option, so.

Oh yeah. I didn't know about Trevor. You can go get some meth out in the desert. You can go to Hollywood and get some coke. Those are white people. You can switch characters, Woody, but there's quests where Kyle would be forced. So it'll take you out.

It'll be like, you have to sell this meth as Trevor, who's the white methed out guy. And then it'll zoom out to the sky and zoom back in. And now you're the black guy. And Kyle just was damn near. I damn near crying. I prefer to play like some sort of gnome female or like elf princess character. That's my that's my go to.

We've talked to this a lot. How I think it's kind of gay that Taylor always plays like a dude in this third person RPGs because you're staring at a dude's ass. Yeah. 100, 200 hours like this. And every time he like every time he climbs a hill or jumps, he's like, oh, oh. And instead, my chick is like, oh, oh, you're crazy. Number one, I play first person in those games, and so I'm not looking at anyone's ass. Do you play that view, the weirdo view that nobody ever uses?

That's how you play Skyrim. Yeah, I play Skyrim first person. OK, you're more you're more involved in it. It's more fun. And then I get to look at if I want to look, I can look at Serena's ass. The vampire chick. I can I can hire what I can do is I can hire Serena or Lydia. And I take all of their armor because I don't actually need her to fight and now I have the naked companion.

You don't know how this shit works? I don't know how any of that shit works. I'm not I'm not I'm not a gay. You pick a follower Lydia and she's like no no no you there's like a bunch of different people in the game you can pick to follow you around and help you. The game is this you're talking about. in the game you can pick to follow you around and help you. Basically they're just your like slaves so when you pick up a bunch of dragon bones and you're over encumbered you go hey retard carry all this but you like you pick a female one you they have to wear what you give them so you take all of Lydia's armor and now you have like a big titted like lady in her underwear. Your character is uh is what? A gay man. It depends on the class. He's a gay. He's either... well he's always gay.

Because I like the immersion. I'm just saying everybody else I know picks a sexy lady character. Woody, don't you do that in your Elden Ring playthrough? Yeah, I started a new character. Also a sexy chick. Because I'm straight as an arrow. I'm pretty sure if Tiger King saw Taylor, he'd be like, you're getting your character as a dude. Hey, you want to come out? That's great. Oh, I like you, but you got way too many teeth. Oh, I slipped in Lindsey Graham a little bit on you.

That's yeah, we're going that is slipping a little bit into Lindsey Graham. One of the gayest men in America. I, you know, I'm just I'm worried about the roundup of the illegals. I'm worried they're not going to have enough resources to get them all. I'm hoping they institute a bounty system, Taylor, because I was thinking like fallout, like, well, oh, I like that citizen arrest and you just turn them in for cash. Like that would be interesting. But what I would prefer is a tip hotline. You see what I mean? Like where you can be like, my neighbor doesn't exactly habla ingles if you know what i mean that's nothing new though like you could have done that with ice yeah but i want to reward

raise their accounts and give you their stuff right so if you've got like a british neighbor who's illegal just you get all their shit and they get deported yeah you're illegally here It's the one for after. It's anyone. It's American, it's just apple pie. Just all of them. Just take it out of your red coat. No, all of them. All of them that have overstayed their stay or what have you.

You just got to round them up. I don't know what we should do with their money. I don't know what we do with their money, but we don't let them keep it. That's American money. That's American money. That's American money. That stays here. Yeah.

Do you know the president of Mexico came out and said that it was either four or 5% of Mexico's entire economy are remittances from the US? That's crazy. One out of $20, one out of $25 Mexico has are remittances from the US. That's fucking insane. The thing that I'm, I think- I wonder what India's like. I bet it's comparable. I bet it's comparable.

I bet it's high. Yeah. That's, I didn't think about India in that way. You're right. I'm sorry, Kyle. I'm cutting you off, but the coworkers I had all, it was like a major point. It was like a tide almost like 10% of their income or better would get sent back home. Yeah. So I do not like that shit. If you're here and you're going to live here, don't be sending money back to a different country. That's ridiculous. that shit. If you're here and you're going to live here, don't be sending money back to a different country. That's ridiculous. Well, you do what you want with your money. I mean, you're not a slave. So that's, that's what I think. I think we're going to round. I think we're going to round up. So we round

up this 10 million illegals, Taylor. All right. Then what do we have? A labor shortage, right? Who's going to pick those oranges? Who's going to going to grab those strawberries? It's not, not, not, not folks like us. So who's going to do it oranges? Who's going to going to grab those strawberries? It's not not not not folks like us. So who's going to do it, Taylor? I'll tell you who. Prison system. All right. Forced labor. OK, all of a sudden, labor costs zip. Four cents an hour.

You mean you pay the prison ten, then they pay the prisoner like four cents an hour. All right. You rent these people. Then what do you think happens at the grocery store? What do you think? What do you think the max cost then? Oh my goodness. It's probably cheaper. We got a bunch of murderers. Yeah, we're gonna need more incarcerated people

to keep this system going. You're goddamn right. Yeah. Oh man. Well, we better hope that crime is rising in order to backfill this. That doesn't matter. Oh, it is, all right. Actually, we could use all the government employees

that are gonna lose their job. The people that have been doing that government employee thing where they're just like, chill. I think, what do you mention this? In the private sector, it's like a 75-25 thing where like 25% of the people are doing 75% of the work, like grinding, working hard. And you talk to anyone in government and it's like a 90-10 split. It's even more- I was gonna use those same numbers. Yeah.

It's like someone like there's one dude in every DMV that is working his fucking ass off back there. And he has nine other people who are not helping at all. They're like sending people home to be like, I need a second form of ID. And he's like, yeah, it's this. And they're like, no, it's this. And they're like, no. Go home, I don't wanna see you in line right now.

I hope they can cut the cost of government by a lot. Cause I think there's a lot of waste there. And every time I hear about it, they're like, well, the actual money's being spent on social security and Medicaid and you can't make a big dent without reducing people's benefits. I don't know what's true. I also hear about $8,000 soap dispensers, which still bugs me. Yeah, it's annoying. Because I imagine my

tax dollars when I see something like that and I'm like, if everything I paid in this year paid for only that many soap dispensers, this is criminal. It actually just paid for the interest on the. Sometimes the wasted money is a little bit justified. Like campaigns, right? This is not government, but the campaigns, you know, before government. Yeah. I've heard like we rent,

we, I mean, pretending I'm in a campaign, rent an extension cord for $50, which sounds insane, right? But they're like, it actually kind of makes sense. One, I need that extension cord delivered right now. Two, I need it taken away afterwards. I'm not gonna keep this extension cord and go from city to city to city with it,

like it has some sort of traveling carnival. So it's like, yeah, we're kind of paying a premium more than the extension cord itself to rent it because the delivery and the takeaway, and it makes a certain kind of sense if you squint just right. But I can't explain $8,000 soap dispensers outside of someone said, get this done,

someone got it done and paid extra. Someone makes up dispensers, that's how that happens. Oh yeah, my brother makes soap dispensers. That was Taylor's theory and I'm with you, I'm talking too long about this, our viewers must be upset. The one viable theory, like you said, is frickin' Lindsey Graham's cousin makes soap dispensers

and that's getting the hook up. The other is- Bathhouse.org. Yeah. I have no proof for it. Is someone's tasked with getting it and not held responsible for any of the rest. It's like, oh, did it get there on time?

Well, we're glad you're good at your job. And they pay $8,000 of somebody else's money and no one cares about that part. Whereas in a private sector, they always care about the ROI. Yeah, I'm sure it's a combination of the two things. Did you bring up a campaign spending, Woody? Kyle did.

I guess Paris is below water. Yeah, yeah, check this out. So, you know, she's down like 20 million or whatever, right? That that progress dot when company paid me and Vito to do an ad read for them on the biggest problem. And yeah, right. You hate the Democrats. OK, if there was a language of only hate speech, hate would still not be...

Hate in that language would be how I feel about the Democratic Party. So we read the ad read and they said... Usually they give you stuff to talk about. And because it was us, Vito said, Are you sure you want to advertise on our show? The week before the election? And they said, Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to say vote for Kamala you just have to say

What's important to you about voting and tell people to vote? so Vito starts reading the ad and it goes like well, you know, it's important to me I say what's important to me is not voting for a child molester. That's why I'm not voting for Tim Walls and I started Started going into that like AI that can speck huge like retarded conspiracy yeah you know that we don't that maybe it's true I don't know so the next the next day we get an email from the boss over there going hey we want our 500 bucks back or do or do another ad and Vita's like no no refunds

Another ad the next week, you know talking about again was important to me and then there the election happened obviously While blown out and then we find that she's down 20 million dollars, so I'm like hey I'm part of that $20 million. They really did need the money back. Isn't that great? They really didn't know what they were doing. I knew it. Why on earth would they, first of all,

shout out Harris campaign, you overlooked us, what the fuck? Yeah. You could have got us in the mix, but like, why would they pay you I don't know no research at all they were just I guess they thought $500 like meant more than it does to me I mean you know no offense to anybody but I'm not I'm not betraying Trump for $500. So you took $500 from Trump's political enemies and then read a conspiracy. I don't know that it's a conspiracy.

It's just important to me. Not Trump molesting is very, I'm very anti. So if even there's a, if there's a whiff of it, if there's a whiff of it, even that AI said that he molested, that Walsh molested him, so I was like, that's too much for me. I don't know, computer, man, I don't know who to believe. The AI?

Which AI? There was an AI. This computer generated black guy was saying Tim Walsh molested him. And I'm like, I don't know that that computer's lying. So. I saw people like giving that retard so much attention as he was posting it on Twitter and like all of these like wish casting morons being like, Oh, the truth is coming out about Tim Walls. And it's like,

this guy's so clearly lying for engagement to bait you into talk. He'd be like, here's the next post. And then it would be like the next day. And then every post was just like clearly made up email screenshots, like his own address in some of them with the cursor still in it. Yeah, in there because editing this, I'm looking at it. And I'm like, be a fucking moron to buy any of this shit. And there were thousands of people like, fill us in next on what's happening, brother. Yeah, because you don't know.

Yeah, I think we all know for sure. That's one we. Yeah, that's true. You can never know for sure. But I will say the way that guy delivered that message was pants on head retarded. There's well, you know, it was it was it struck a chord with me as a voter. So I talked about that That's so fucking funny you made $500 from the Harris campaign Yeah, and then I'm gonna pay it back so really Trump's paying me 500 bucks Trump's gonna pay back the the debt of I think

Mean he offered to is a mean kind of joke. Yeah. He was like, hey, I saw you're in debt. We actually have a ton of money left, a ton of money. Yeah, that's because we did so much organic advertising. You know, that kind of cost too much, but we could pitch in and help you out. Beyonce should be given a little bit of Beyonce should be giving the full 10 million back because like what did what did she think she's there for?

You're a singer. Everyone was pumping up how excited they were to see her sing. Yeah. And then to go out, there could not be a bigger middle finger than to trick a bunch of your electorate in a swing state into thinking they're going to a free Beyonce concert. And then they get there and she goes, vote if you want. And then like 10 million. I think they gave Meg the stallion, like a one or 2 million. She twerked when she got up there. She gave the people what they wanted.

She earned it. Oh, did you see the screenshots of like the normal Democrat voters in like the podium or like that like bleachers behind and they're like holding there's this like one like like bald white guy holding like a Harris Walls sign and then she starts twerking and you can like see in his face he's like like what's the going rate to get Dick to twerk at a political event and probably more than 500 easily more me yeah i mean for Trump i would do it for free rate to get Dick to twerk at a political event. And then probably more than 500. Easily more. Me?

Yeah. I mean, for Trump, I would do it for free. No, no, no, no. I'm not, I'm Harris in this situation. For Harris, uh, I'll also do it for free, but I'm going to have a wardrobe malfunction really serious one. I love it. Cause I have a, cause I have a neurological disorder. I charge extra for wardrobe malfunctions.

And I have a bunch of diarrhea. I'm going to have a whole bunch of accidents. Oh damn. Yeah, that's, it's fun to talk about Tulsi Gabbard getting an appointment. Over. Yeah, dude, I, I like that, that gray hair thing. Right? Huge, huge fan. I've been a Tulsi Gabbard fan all the time She's got that like a white silvery thing in her hair just like rogue from the x-men

It's it's it's super hot She's got her face a little pockmarked if you don't airbrush her up a little bit if I'm being honest But we're like that's not true. She's real pretty lady. And she really make her like secretary of national intelligence or national intelligence, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Which, again, I wonder what she'll be doing. I know the left really hates her. They think she's a Russian spy.

Taylor, that's retarded. Yeah. I don't know. She was in our military, so she's got that on her side on them. That's true. But I mean, anyone who's against like forever wars in East Europe is a Russian spy, most likely. Oh, speaking about our military, so they made all sorts of promises about what's coming in the, you know, in January. They said they're going to use special forces against the cartels in Mexico. They said they're going to send the SEAL team and they didn't say it like a little aside. They're like yelled it like

like over and over that they're going to send like fucking good. Yeah, that's awesome. That's great. Yeah. Using our military to face an actual threat to our border. Fuck. Yeah, good.

These people say that before the election, before, during and after like, oh, no wonder Mexicans were turning up Yeah, that's the thing with Tulsi is she's anti Ukraine And she said that Ukraine that the US funded Ukraine's bio labs to make like I don't know Biological weapons of some sort which was a piece of Russian disinformation that Tulsi spread That's why they call her a russin Russian asset. Well, I think those viruses that quote unquote viruses that are being created in the Ukrainian

bio labs are like the kind that target specific races of people maybe because I've heard. Oh, you think that? Well, I've seen. Oh, I mean, I'm inserting myself into the reality in which those people who are now our leaders live in So it's it's one of those that target specific races because I saw this whole thing with RFK where god It's hard to listen to that man. But if you put yourself K impressions are gonna be hard on me I wish that they would break down and get that little electric razor you stick on your Larry. Hello everyone isn't this so

much better? Yeah give him Hawking's machine like just let him do that. But he was talking about you know bioweapons that target like like Chinese people or Jews or what have you at like a table of people? You know, his wife is Cheryl Hines from curb your enthusiasm. Yeah That's pretty funny. Do women just like really fucked up voices like cuz they didn't know How they love Stephen Hawking he's got he's getting pussy RFK is getting a ton of pussy. Like maybe they just really like guys that talk like a monster. RFK, I think they like it because he's a Kennedy and he's jacked and he has power.

They love that. Maybe, it could be the voice though. And he's a gorgeous brainwurst. I don't like it. If a brainworm ate part of your brain, you wouldn't survive that. Would it make me talk like that? No. You got that from eating bad pussy, didn't he?

No, Michael Douglas got the throat cancer from eating bad pussy. You don't think that has anything to do with RFK? It might be, but I thought they said it was something else that fucked his voice up. What else could it be? Well, it could have been the deep state, quote unquote, silencing another Kennedy. Do you think about that? Isn't that a fun way to take someone's political career away? They should have just silenced him entirely and made him like have to write and use a robot voice because this actually that is what the deep state would do.

They'd make him so annoying to listen to. Yeah. That would be difficult. You know he genuinely had a brain worm that ate part of his brain away. Yeah, we talked about that's old news at this point Yeah, you know He ate dog too. I don't like that. That's the worst thing about him He also stole a whale carcass from a beach and hauled it back to his home Like that's that I don't care at all about it's already if you would kill the whale I wouldn't I wouldn't like it I'm not judging him for any of this nonsense because I've done some crazy shit, too I'm just saying this is this is the man we're dealing with

Yeah I want to see Trump put a bench in front of the White House like a bench press like Muscle Beach and have RFK do For like, you know when Schwarzenegger used to do that shit But RFK coming out with all his boys from Muscle Beach doing fucking inclined press, you know We've all seen the and then yell at people for looking at him. Don't look at me, look away, you've looked enough. We've seen the pictures of him looking amazing. Does he look like that really? Like now, like there are pictures of me looking amazing.

I'm actually at a better than average point for myself right now, but I don't always look good. Did you hear RFK, he was talking about Trump's diet on like Air Force One and everything. And he was like, but it's shit. The thing with Trump is, you know, I go on there with him and and I try to eat something on the way to a campaign. And I tell you, every it's remarkable.

He has the energy. He has everything in there is total poison. It's it's KFC. It's McDonald's. It's it's Burger King. Do you know when he accepted the moment, when he accepted winning the election, he'd been up for 48 hours fueled entirely on fast food. And I was like, I believe that Trump is a fiend for fast food.

I wonder if he looks like if I just if you took his shirt off right now, how close to this would he look? Were you going to say if I took his shirt off? Who does it? You are going to you are imagining you taking it off, Woody.

I heard that. I ran up to him and took his shirt off right now and our nipples happened to bump. I bet he looks pretty similar to that. He seems like one of those hyper obsessed old guys. He's got a social media like right? like, like, like, if Trump like, if Trump like, through if like RFK did some edict that removed like MSG from fast food, no, Trump, Trump would put him in Guam would put him in. Now we thought he was a smart guy. We thought he was a good guy. He looks a little Mexican. Am I right? You're not going to believe this folks. Eat a fry, eat a fry. They're not the same. They're not what they were. So we're killing him. MSG is not bad for you it just makes things tastier no I know I'm saying you

know but he has a lot of thoughts about things being bad for you that aren't generally agreed on yeah fluoride in the water comes to mind mmm that makes the frogs gay right it does that one is a like there are studies. Oh my god, it reminds me of Alex Jones. So Alex Jones lost his all his money's away and he owes Sandy Hook families a billion dollars. So they're auctioning off all of his belongings. And I suppose one of the belongings is his company is media company. What's it called? Infowars? Infowars. So the auction off Infowars. I don't know know what that includes it certainly includes the name and it's the corporation or whatever all that shit guess who bought it the onion the onion lucky fucking onion news network bought info wars and You know what the onion should buy this show on the info wars website Anyway, they should say we're getting into the fake news business. That's hilarious. I think they might have made a mistake. Like that's, I don't think the onions traffic has been great the past few years compared to what, do you remember how fucking funny the

onion was? There was a, there's a video that like makes me die laughing from like 2010 on the onion, where it's like a panel of news people talking about paranoid schizophrenics. They're talking about what they need to do to make the life better for schizophrenics. They're like, something they really enjoy is seeing people they're familiar with. We've bandied about the idea of surgically replacing the faces of their doctors with those of their loved ones in a way to ensure and something that these people need, Tom, my understanding is to be watched at all times. 100%, Alan. That's why we've already started putting small cameras, little bits of, you know, surveillance equipment in all of their homes, but we keep it very small. They can't find it. It won't upset them. That's wonderful. And you think

this is going to help them? Oh, 100%. Yeah. These people really need to be watched at all times. My favorite one, and it's weird, like the timing. I watched it last night. I swear. It's the boy who has killed a home intruder and he's being hailed as a hero on the morning show, like good morning America. And they're like, and you went and ran and got your daddy's gun. Didn't you? I ran and got the gun. Yeah. And then what happened? I saw him there standing and he put his hands up and said, please don't shoot at you didn't listen. Did you shot him in the knee? Bang. And he fell to the ground. And I stood over

and while he cried, bang, bang, bang, bang. And he like tells this horrific story. And at one point he's just like, I love the blood. This one is about to bring up to you, like this is another evergreen classic from the onion. The fat boy, fat kid successfully avoids ridicule by swimming with shirt on. It's like they ask him and he's like this like gruff voice little kid where they're like, so Alan, when did you think of this? He's like, I him and he's like this like gruff voice little kid where they're like so Alan when did you think of this? He's like I was just I was just sitting around and you know kids have been bullying me And so I figured I'm gonna leave my shirt on Wow, and did that really help them stop bullying you not particularly

But you know it distracted them from it for long enough for me to enjoy swimming very funny Yeah, my favorite is a video. Maybe this is hits home in my house more of it Very funny. Yeah, my favorite is a video. Maybe this is hits home in my house more of it There's an autistic man interviewing an inmate and the inmate starts describing the really disciplined strict schedule that they force him to follow And the autistic guy just fucking loves it Lights on at 9 a.m. Exactly every day Regimented lunch dinner No, no exactly how do you get in how do you get in? The guy's like, well, a lot of things. No, no, exactly. How do you get in? How do you get this? It's like, so all you have to do is rob one bank and you're in?

That's another really funny one that I like, because it starts like, so you're in prison. What are you in prison for? And then like asking stuff like that. And he's like, every day for 30 minutes you have lunch. Is it at the same time, each and every day? How can I get in here? Like, I just. I like it.

It was so funny. Yeah, the onion used to be really good. I haven't. And I used to get these things. Did they do the boy not so tough after being molested? Yeah, that's another hilarious. The bully not so tough. The bully not so tough after being molested.

I've heard it before. Like if the onion got old to me not bad You make the same rough joke for a couple decades and I've heard it before Well, maybe they can do something with this out with the info wars purchase. I worry about poor Alex Jones who made that Oh, yeah poor guy He what he did was just fucking awful. It really was that one.

One thing the rest of those lies were for fun and for funsies. But they were entertaining and I kind of miss him being in the world. I saw someone suggest that he was going to be the press secretary, which would just be diabolical. It would just be diabolical. Like that, even if I hope Trump does the thing where he has a different one every month Like it's almost like a different guy every month. You can throw Joe Rogan up there one month hilarious do that He'd do it. Well, but he's not available. I'm sure I think it's a really hard job

I think you have to like really stay up on like not only the world events But how the president what the possession president's position is on each and every one of them And and how he wants that position put forward. I bet it'd be hard Put hogan on well like you're suggesting but you can do it poorly too and just say yeah You'll have to ask the president directly on that. Yeah. Yeah, you can just bullshit. I guess. Yeah That is uh 24 inch pythons up there You know the hulkster. Yeah It was 24 inch pythons up there. The Hulkster? The Hulkster, yeah. He'd run out of shirts.

Who else but a wrestler would know how to react, no matter, he doesn't need to know anything. You gotta go the opposite direction with it. Instead of knowing everything, just know nothing and constantly talk about Hulkamania and America and brother and how you're, you know. They bring that over. You better get ready.

Do you think they should remove the Department of Education? Oh, fuck yeah. Fuck the Department of Education. So what happens? I'm curious, because I am open to the idea. Well, what do you, it's tough with big federal departments like that

because everybody kind of has their own idea of how they work. My mom was a special ed teacher for my whole life and my girlfriend's a teacher. She started in special ed. So I've been around these charlatans and parasites my whole life, hearing their- Teachers?

Yeah, teachers. Okay. So I know what they're, I know they're, I'm wise to their- You know their type, right? Yeah, I know what they're doing. No, I think whatever, however you're educating kids, you can do it in the state. You don't need a bunch of bureaucrats.

You don't even, honestly, you don't even need, like, the people that are fucking things up and wasting money are even local superintendents, like local school boards. Even locally, the most immediate superiors are taking way too much money and not doing anything. So you multiply that by several orders of magnitude when you put those guys, those same type of people, thousands of miles away. Part of me is a little worried that you remove education stuff,

like education sounds good on the surface, but the federal government doesn't do education. I've always used it as one of my federal hallmarks. Like if a guy running for federal office tells you he's doing something about education, now I know he's lying to me. Now I know that he's not telling the truth because the federal-

That's interesting. It's like me telling, what, I don't know, I'm just gonna use an analogy that you don't need, but if he's focused on education as a president or a federal person, he's lying because that's not part of that job. So getting rid of the Department of Education. Well, just just tell me what they do and I i'm having a hard time.

It's like teachers like the way kids are taught a a teacher who is 25 to you know 45 sits at night Comes up with what she's going to teach that worked last year and she knows the kids she's teaching it to, she knows their parents, it's all about... Teachers like cultivate these relationships with kids and the parents to help the kids learn in a way that's good for them. Like acting like there's anything that could influence this beyond giving the teachers more time to prepare themselves and help other younger teachers,

like learn how to connect with students, is kind of like not understanding what the process is. It's not like, it's not an engine or a computer. You can't like industrialize it. It's always just gonna be women working with kids and help like learning together, honestly, because a lot of the women don't know shit either from year to year.

You know? So true. In my head, I'm like, if they got rid of the Department of Education and put out an advertising blitz telling parents to make sure their kids did their homework, that might do more than their education did. Yeah.

Hey, it's 10 p.m. Did your kids finish their homework today? But that's a reference you guys probably won't get Oh, I remember those were on TV. It'd be like it's 11. Where are your kids? You know where your children are? Yeah And a lot of the federal stuff like no child left behind They've been kind of they've been doing like an iteration of that every decade since the 70s and it means the same teachers Have to care for kids who are not benefiting at all from this. So that like, you know, really exceptionally slow kids who would do better

in their own environment. Like they're not going to do not. If you're teaching a bunch of kids, you got to get kids who are kind of at the same level. That's just like, that's how it works. It's just one person helping them. So, uh, getting the best out of it. The mainstream is really hard. Yeah. As a parent, you might want to hear that your kid should be mainstream. Like, Oh yeah. All right. All right. Your kids will slow. It's not so bad that we have to put them in that special class. Um, on the other hand, maybe he doesn't belong in that other class.

He'd do better in the special one. It's a tricky decision. You got a branding issue. So you don't want to call it mainstream. You want to be like, do you want your son in the super elite classes? That's super elite is normal, right? That's where we want you. We're going to name them like condoms. Yeah, we have to name them like those large extra large.

It's mega. Isn't that what the astronauts did? Because they had like pee sleeves to go to space because you have to pee into like a condom basically and then it goes down a tube. And like they initially they're like, all right, these are in small, medium and large. And like they were constantly falling off of astronauts because they're all like, large brother. And so they renamed them to like large, immense, catastrophic. So then they go to a whole- Large one, large two, and large three. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's part of the problem too, because no one, if normal is, hey, do you want Billy Bob to be in

the super advanced class because that's usually for you know surgeons and astronauts nah I don't need to be no astronaut or nothing what's the normal class normal class is special ed well that's that's this one here with these fine fellows with the crayons. Oh, he'd love that He colors a mess up on the walls at home And then I think it's a branding problem, I mean, yeah Eliminating the Department of Education though, because I don't know all the things they do I thought that they funded all of the school systems in some way or another

But well, they brought they they kick some money back. But with their money, you have it's just like the highway system. Right. All right. So question, how much federal money will be freed up by literally eliminating putting hitting the delete key on the Department of Education? How much federal funds are now mostly which can now like, I think it's like three thousand now be given to the parents, you know, and for each kid, like, all right,

we've got $400 million, a billion dollars, whatever it is, like, everybody's gonna get that money, right, if you're a parent for each kid? Is that the idea? Yeah, it's, they don't really say. I think the feds send down like 3,000 bucks a kid out of like an, they usually get 20, like I think across America, we spend like 3000 bucks a kid out of like an, they usually get 20, like I think across America,

we spend like 20 grand per kid and maybe the feds give it 2000 of that. I have it, it's probably 224 billion a year. So per kid doesn't mean much to me, I don't know how to convert that. But the Department of Education's budget is 224 billion. And of course that gets kicked down to schools as Dick was saying, if they follow the rules.

Like transportation does too. And the rules are all like, let's establish a new bureaucracy to make sure we're fitting in with the feds rules. When in reality, like property tax goes to pay schools. And I mean, if you work at it from like the bottom up, like, okay, I'm paying this much property tax, which sucks. But even in LA, it's like, yeah, you know, I'm okay.

I was honestly I'm okay with this tax. That's fine. If it's if we got to pay for schools. I think I think they'll do a much better job of handling it and that teachers will get more money to be honest. Have you seen like the graphs since it's like the mid 70s, early 80s, where it shows like the amount of employed teachers versus the amount of employed administrators in the education system. It's like teachers stay relatively stable because, you know, they're going up a little bit because population increases,

but nothing wild. Meanwhile, the administrative part of it has skyrocketed. And so a lot of getting rid of this is gonna be eliminating administrative positions. The same goes for healthcare. If you look at like the actual amount of nurses and doctors, it goes up slowly based on population increase, but the amount of hospital administrator, and talk to any nurse like you know,

and they'll be like, yeah, we're over-administrated. Like there's 10 people in charge of every department, and we have to go get checks with all these people, and all they really do is oversee us in a way that we don't really need. Like we can do our job, we're the professionals. Every doctor I know says something similar but different which is like, oh, more of my job and my management

than you'd expect goes towards administrative and getting health insurance companies to actually pay than medicine. Yeah, it's not an efficient use of their time. And so- Taylor, have you seen the chart where it's also nurses weight is also going up it, I think it's even higher than those. That's the real tragedy.

I would believe that. Isn't that crazy? That's horrible. That's what we need RFK on. These are our nation's sponge bath givers. We need them fit. 100%.% yeah if RFK like had a program where it's like all right we're here for nurses teachers and librarians I hate doing this I'm not gonna be RFK's big top he's gonna come

in with a circus in every town and find the fattest fattest nurse teacher and whip him around We're bringing America back he's gonna make him wear that whale head here you go walk around that whale head you fat bitch Oh, so I think a lot of I think some of this stuff is gonna happen and some of it's not But but what I'm what I'm interested in is the generational stuff. That's another one of your two-party predictions? No, no, no, no. Some will happen and some won't. I'm a cow-sucker. Come on, Callie. He's all in love.

I'm wondering if he's going to get another Supreme Court justice. I know that that old bag they got on there now. They sort of threw out the idea of either replacing her with Kamala. And she was like, I'm hanging around. I'm good. I've just got the diabetes. I suck at her name, but it's close to Sotomayor. Sotomayor. Yeah.

I wonder if one of the Republicans might actually step up and do like the cool guy move and be like, you know what Trump, put a 42 year old in my spot and let him ride it into the 22nd century. Yeah. Jacked guy. Jacked guy? I don't get it. Jacked guy. You just need one like super right wing jacked guy. And so when they're coming up with deliberations, Sonia Sotomayor or whatever is like, I don't like this. And he can guy and so yeah and they're coming up with deliberations sanya sodomire or whatever is like i don't like this and he can just go mug her and be like bitch we're voting this way now he needs an eyebrow like the rock so he can go so he can look at her like yeah yeah that'd be good i dissent what are the rocks in trouble for like like i heard that he they accused him of being shitty to people and specifically pissing in bottles

and leaving them about or something on sets. That part's true. Yeah. I know he admitted to the piss bottle thing, which is pretty gross. Yeah, they're like, he pees in bottles. He's like, yeah, that part's true. They said he was generally mean to people and hard to work with, which doesn't sound like the rock I know. Usually the kind of people who are that saccharine in public eye, they're like root. It's like

the Ellen effect. You know the story of how Ellen is this saccharine, sickly sweet personality, tries to be everyone's friend. And then behind closed doors, so many of her staff are like, she's a fucking monster. She'll scream at me if I don't introduce the dance correctly. Yeah, she's kind of a bitch apparently. I can see The Rock, another guy whose entire brand is like a fake smile towards the public being a dickhead behind the scenes. Another thing that's possible, and I'm just making this up,

is that he's actually a fairly normal guy, but the delta between who he pretends to be on camera and who the normal person he is in real life gets him in trouble. Could be. Do you think it's a political clear ahead of him? No. I don't think so.

There was a time where I thought he might, but literally this election cycle, he was clearly afraid to step in, to like lean one way or the other. He was so much on the fence that it, there was a lot of hate from both sides for him. Cause he's so plugged in if he wants to, to that like bro Joe Rogan, WWE, UFC community already,

but he's also plugged into the Hollywood thing. So like, where do you go? Right? Like, I guess he did the smart thing, the Jeff Bezos thing, right? The lack of endorsement now. He can keep being the rock. Yeah. I was in the models.

Yeah. Here's where's my guess. I think I think that's a man who hydrates a lot. All right. And I know we're drinking two gallons of water a day. It's like you're constantly getting up to piss. So that's, and my guess is that he's a guy who, whose time is very valuable. And he's like, I'm not getting off this phone call. I'm not leaving the trailer. I'm pissing right here right now. I'm guessing that's happening.

His trailer has a bathroom. Come on, rock. There's gotta be a toilet in his, where is he pissing in the bottles? That's a good question. Like where? Yeah, there's no bathroom. That's just rude. That's like, okay, it's only about a quarter as bad as leaving dip spit around. A quarter is bad. So you think dip spit is four times worse than a pee ball. 100%. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Everyone is where it ratio for. No, no, no, no, no. Parallel piss is piss warm. Yes. Yes.

No, and they find it. Wow. If it's warm piss, fresh piss, that's pretty bad. Do you dip spit is revolting? There's little like like little strands of tobacco in there. You can see the viscosity of the spit. It's fucking disgusting. I was about to say, this is worse. The spitters are often imperfect at getting it into the bottle. So it can be on the edges. Yeah. What are the peers so perfect? No, right. So I don't know.

This is worse, dude. This is so much worse. You're crazy. There's, You're crazy. There's, would you rather have somebody pee on your face? No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Or have somebody dip spit on your face. No, no, take it to another level.

You're gonna take a sip out of one of these bottles. You're gonna take a sip out of one of these bottles. Piss. I'm sipping piss, yeah. Piss, 100%. You're sipping dip, like, dip spit? I gotta think about it now. That's gay. Yours is gay. Your version sipping piss. Yes. 100 percent. You're sipping dip like dip. I got to think about it now. That's gay. Yours is gay.

Your version is gayer than ours. Because you're closer to their dick. A regular fruitcake. I got to think about it. That time in prison messed you up. What do you mean it's closer to their dick? Comes out of their dick. Wait, you're not drinking the...

We're drinking piss because we're straight. But that came out of the dick. Yeah, I meant the opposite. Yours is gay because you're kissing a man. Ours were just sucking his dick. It's no big deal. Yeah, more. Look, I haven't taken a side yet, god damn it. I'm trying to decide which one I would want to take. Well, one side is gay.

So, go ahead and think about it. The reason I think that I would prefer the piss is because it's not gonna be all thick and disgust. Like this, the viscosity, you're right. It's the viscosity. Oh, 100%. Dude, and if like, it's a, if you take a slug. Would you rather have a man spit in your face

or piss in your face though? That's an easy one. It has to, I have to swallow whatever it is. Is he hawking a loogie? Is he just like spitting? It's gotta be like a, like that football player. That you ever see that the NFL mic'd up clip where the guys just like, and like full on spits and the other guy with dip spit, like the Brown soup.

Oh no, I don't think it was dip spit. That's a whole nother level of, well, no, this has, this, I've seen that done. My cousin spit on a guy with dip spit in front of everybody one time. Oh, my God. Why was bore that guy? The guy had challenged him to a fight and Scott had shown up to like, he's like, I'm here.

And like he spit a the guys like, oh, yeah. But like you were supposed to show up at 10 p.m. That's when fighting hour is and what he meant. Oh, that's what my boys will be here to back. Oh, yeah. And Scott's like, no, I'm here now. And the guy and the guys weren't khakis. And he like, dip, spitted down the dude's khakis like he was a fucking Chris Kyle dip, spit sniper. Wow. And dude, just like look down at the spit and look back at us and pretended like it didn't happen. Yeah, that was his heart.

That wasn't Jeremy. Oh, Scott. Oh, Scott Scott, I got your your little cavalcade of retards mixed up sometimes. Oh, I don't don't say that. They're good. Good group of guys having fun time. But you would say you have to answer though. I would talk a lot of shit for a guy that wears khakis. You've shifted me. Exactly. It was his way I actually ambushed him at his job. So you had to wear the khakis for being fair. He was in his uniform. So, you know, I guess it was we successfully changed your opinion on that. Facts and logic.

Facts and logic. Facts and logic will prevail. That's what he should go and he should like go and yell at 16 year olds and be like, so what you're saying to me is that you would rather be pissed on than just deal with the dips. And they're like, I don't know what you came up to me, dude. I don't think it's true. I don't think it's logical.

I think that's a logical fallacy. What's your opinion on Israel? Would you rather be pissed on in the face or support Israel? Yeah. Man, that guy doesn't seem to be as relevant as he was. That's great news. I think he's pulling all the strings. Like every time I hear about one of these other right wing influencers, they work for Shapiro. He's a big kind of kind of puppeteer in that corner. Yeah, but it doesn't seem like him person. Like if I go to his Twitter and like see like he's getting blasted in his comments on stuff.

He lost a debate the other day and it was bad. He got into this, I don't know what the event was exactly, but he seemed to literally be sitting in a chair surrounded by liberals and having them sit across from him one by one. He's a debate Bobby Fisher allowing each of the grand masters to take their turn. And a trans man like came and sat down. This is a person born with a vagina who now vibes dude. And I mean, like he really vibes, dude, he vibe, dude, so goddamn hard. And like ugly, dude, like, like, like, like ugly masculine confident dude for some reason, like, like way too confident to be an ugly fat dude that's what gives it away would never have this confidence I see right through you ma'am you're just a

Karen in disguise oh yeah dude I've seen the she chewed him up and spit him out though in the debate and made and like frazzled him and he looked bad he didn't own her effects and logic style he i mean his kung fu was not as strong as his the other guy's kung fu the other guy had more facial hair that's pretty funny yeah i'm just gonna just so you could see how well he vibed dude i had no clue this was a girl. And Zach will show it for a second to the audience. And they were talking about pro-life, pro-choice stuff. And was he raped and got pregnant? How did he win?

Ben Shapiro, yeah. He had to flee Israel. This guy? He was raped and got pregnant. This is a girl. Well, he was born a girl. I don't know, I wanna get it right. I guess he claims to be a guy now.

And he's the one. He just not works, yeah. Let want to get it right. I guess he claims to be a guy now and Let's see how he parked I guarantee you go out and look at the rims Not even paying attention to the lines at all that's amazing for a guy You're following her through like a drive-through and you see her do that classic chick move on the curb. Good, good. Just great. You know, you can turn it.

Who hasn't been in a car with a woman driver where you you want to scream out like, do you not realize what's happening to mentally in the car right now? We're headed for the curb. I I've had both. I've had dudes that couldn't fucking drive. Like I've been in a lot of cars with strangers selling cars. You go on these test drives and you get a little bit of everything. So I've had dudes where I'm like, this dude trying to show off his racing skills or something,

and he has none. This is just scary. I'm not scared because you're going so fast, dude. I'm scared because you almost lost it and hit the wall back there. But I've also had dudes who would like rim the shit out of the rims, just grind them. We had like a loopy loop driveway

that came into the driveway. And it's one of those where you need to know where all four of your wheels are as you come in and avoid. He grinded both sides and like the front one grinded against it and the back one slammed against it because of the way he like turned it like slapped against it and when we stopped there was chunks of aluminum flaking off. I was he's like well see you later and I'm like we have to make this right. He's like make what right? I was like, you ruined these rims. He's like, I didn't do that.

And I'm like, there's aluminum falling off. And I like touched it and it's flaking off like chunks. And my manager was a bitch about it, like a complete pussy. And he thought he was gonna turn disaster into a sale. So he was like, ah, who cares about that? What'd you think about the ride? As if this guy was gonna buy the car and I'm like.

He should have went with the you broke it, you bought it thing. Like all right. That's what I wanted. Yeah, you look, you can repair this for 800 or we can make a deal. That's what I want. We don't care about the damage if you buy it, it's yours.

We ended up letting them leave Scott Free and paying some third party company to patch it up for like three or 400 and then selling to someone and never telling them what happened. That's just the life of a car salesman. Yeah, I mean we've done worse. Yeah. I bet. And I fived afterwards. We raped a car and didn't tell him. That car's got sexual trauma, you'll find out. That's the guy on Twitter was Sam Tim Walls did like we were Car

Like we were a Dealership or anything we were a corporate owned store but still like I remember this lady called in who had bought a used convertible from me and She said when I go I don't remember what she said So I'm like when I go 95 it starts going What was with with with with with and the whole top seems like it's gonna fly off in the wind I'll never forget my manager Demetri Russian guy he's speed the limit is 70 miles per hour and he walked away

Where and it's only intermittent and usually in residential areas where it makes a very loud dog yelping sound. And then it stops. Yeah. But I've had, I've had a, I had a girlfriend or two. I had one girlfriend who was a tremendous driver. Like I could, I could go to sleep in the passenger side while she drove. That's how good she was. Like I feel like that says everything, right?

It's a real unicorn. I'm still cooking for you. Yeah, that's a rough feeling. Another few decades. Going to sleep with your girlfriend driving. Yeah. All right. You can't even brace now.

Goodbye. I'm sending this email to send tomorrow. It's one thing accepting that level of danger, but you'll know you'll at least get the brace for impact. Yeah, just sleep and just hope it. Seatbelts work when you're asleep, right? Mostly. Yeah, it'd be scary. But I've also had some girls girlfriends where I was, ah,

you you don't know how to drive, do you? This is scary. This is fucking scary. Yeah. And so it's in your point, that's, that you're right. We need to check out our parking job. Yeah. Yeah. And you see your house, how that, that feller parked. That feller, that feller. He just a boy.

But yeah, I don't think Ben Shapiro is going to be a part of the administration or anything, but I look forward to seeing the administration come together because I saw, I love the memes. Someone compared it to Voldemort putting his crew of evil together. They're like, oh, he's missing. He's a genie, which is like the big fucking evil. That's what the left needs to do to win people over is more Harry Potter

and Hunger Games comparison. More of more of the gayest shit imaginable. Where it's like, I'm Katniss Everdeen. And it's like, you're 38. You fucking loser. You fucking loser. You fucking loser. You think this is the Hunger Games? So is Candice Everdeen.

I don't know the fucking Hunger Games, but didn't she grow up in like a concentration camp? More of a concentration state. Okay. Yeah, then I don't think it's a good place. I think there's a teenager in this movie. Yeah. The person commenting this was not. The people, yeah, it's pretty gay. I think there's a teenager in this movie. Yeah. The person commenting this was not the people. Yeah. It's pretty, pretty gay. I don't know what the Democrats need to do.

Oh, it's their fucking problem. It's their fucking problem. I'm going to take her pronouns out of her bio. No. Good. Oh yeah. That's the end of that shit. They're going to reel it back.

All the DEI people are fired. Destiny is like, guys, we can win without you, but we can't win with you. And somehow that burned a hole in my brain. I'm like, fuck yes. Oh my gosh. Democrats have a branding problem. A lot of people voted for Trump because they don't like boys calling themselves girls. And that's not even a responsibility of the president. They just it's just a vibe and that's why they voted that way So Democrats like I've told Republicans that their pro-life stance hurts them. Yeah, they're anti-gay stance hurts them Democrats anti-gun stance hurts them and their pro-trans stance like look you can be pro-trans. Let's do it more quietly

We're trying to win a popularity contrast. Yeah. Yeah, I think Keep politics out of it. That's how pro-trans, let's do it more quietly. We're trying to win a popularity contrast. Yeah, I think it's going to suck their dicks. Keep politics out of it. That's how Lindsay does it. Private. That's how Lindsay. All I know is. Lindsay would not suck a trans person's dick.

He needs full man. Masculine man. He needs to reach up. He needs to reach up and feel chest hair. Zach, find the prostitute that claimed to have slept with Lindsay Graham.

And let's see what that fellow is. Is it a woman? It's a man because the man I told you the story is disgusting. It may have been one of these one of those, you know, stories where it's like, I'm just asking questions. I'm not sure if it's true or not. But the prostitute claimed that he had like all those genital warts around his asshole. And he's like, what is what is that? I think you need to clean up. Is it, Oh,

no, that's just my lady bugs. They awards were the way they tried to scare us into not having sex in teenage health class. They just convinced us. Ain't awards happened all the time. They saved you from a fucking future where you had to, you know, talk about your little ladybugs. Explain away ladybugs, yeah. Oh, they did say that a lot. I don't know why we would always say anal wards

to each other in like high school to make fun of how often they stressed it. I actually haven't heard that as an adult. So it's HPV virus that would cause it, but you would need to be having anal sex to get it on your anus. Would I need to be receiving it that anal sex to get it on your anus. Yeah. Would I need to be receiving it that way? To get it on your anus?

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I don't know. I can get the disease other way. I guess you could do some weird thing where you like pooped a dildo into another guy or something and then get it so. I thought maybe it was a body infection dream.

And that was just a manifestation, right? You can get, yeah. Remember when they go ass to ass and Requiem of a dream You could like do that with a bro and turns out he's got HPV and then you get awards from his anus I will never watch that movie again. It was sad as fuck. You watch that one once and you're good I'm good on Requiem for a dream for a lot I remember like this is like ten years ago now my girlfriend at the time was like this movie's awesome And I like watched it and I was like this is

This is so upsetting. Like yeah I really hate this. The poor baby. I get even antidepressant. Like I, I, I feel like I just saw the worst of humanity condensed into a two hour movie. It's, it's rough. I watched what might be the most bizarre movie I've ever seen in my life last night. Have you heard of a movie called biosphere? It's Polly Shore. No, it's biodome It's got Marc duplass and like so it's like more of an indie movie

But it's like supposed to be like a futuristic not really thriller but drama I guess and like the crux of the movie is they're in the biosphere like, you know Like a self-sustaining kind of ecosystem thing. And strike one is like, it's the cheapest worst looking biosphere on earth. Like my house is better equipped to survive the apocalypse than what like bunker they built. And it's only two guys in there. And the whole like, I don't know if you're, if you guys are the same, when I see one of

those like post apocalyptic things, kind kind of like Martian is different, but it's a survival thing I should say. I like the part where they kind of parse out how their food works and how the production of these things are maintained so that you can kind of buy in and be like, okay, now I kind of understand the fail points where it could get rough.

They spent no time on that. Their entire, there's two of them in like a thousand square foot dome and most of the space is allotted to like a full kitchen and a bookshelf and like a gaming setup. And then their entire food production, I'm not making this up, is one tomato plant and a bathtub with three fish in it. Well, that won't do. And they're eating fish all the time. And so at one point, three fish left and one of the dudes is jacked. There's like a jacked super genius black guy. I don't actually know the time there. They looked like just big goldfish. They're probably that large with fully grown. Koi maybe. Maybe Koi. They weren't as pretty as those. So maybe something else. But the two characters were, there's like a jacked genius black guy and this like so

retarded it was like bordering on unbelievable white guy. And clearly the black guys are the leader. He like at one point early on was like, they got in a little TIF and the black guys like, I'm the one who invented and built this place. And the meek, it retards like you're right. And meanwhile, I'm like, if I built this place as a survival shelter, I'm the one who invented and built this place. And the meek, it retards, like, you're right. And meanwhile, I'm like, if I built this place as a survival shelter, I wouldn't admit to it.

Like it's literally one bathtub, a bedroom. It's more like a dorm than it is. And then one of the, they had one female fish and two male fish, and the last female fish dies. And so they're coming to terms with the fact that they're going to die. And then the next day they notice one of the fish is turning into a female because I guess

some fish can do that. And the black scientist guys like recorded in the species before it's like a clownfish, you know, because they can become androgynous or whatever. And then literally like, I bet this point in the movie, I like paused because I'm like, how much longer is this? I thought it was like one of those 80 minute movies, two hours, almost two hours long. And so then I continue and within one minute, they wake up the next morning. And the white guy is like, doing the same thing as the fish, we're like his dick is shrinking up and becoming

is shrinking up and becoming a plus. And he's like growing titties. And like it's kind of movie is this, Taylor. It was on Hulu. I just clicked like just click like play next. I want it. The reason I clicked is because the white guy in it is the same guy from Creep, which is like another indie like kind of spooky, more thriller horror kind of film.

And so I thought it was going to be in that vein. Not at all. I was mistaken. And so the next like literally 40 minutes is this black guy and this white guy becoming a girl through like fish biology, like having the most uncomfortable romance I've ever seen in my life. That culminates in the white guy, now a woman,

but he still has like awful man features and a beard and a man voice. And like the black guy is getting horny for him. And the now white hermaphrodite thing is like wanting to have a baby. And so they fuck through a sheet Jewish style. And within like two seconds Orthodox Jews, that was a myth that they fuck through a sheet.

And so like the white guy went and got a sheet and draped it over him, and then they're like the whole time leading up, they're like, this is just for procreation. This is to continue the species. There's nothing else to be done. And so he puts the stick in the sheet and they start fucking. And not five seconds into them them fucking the black guy pulls the sheet off of the guy's face and now It's just two men making out Do you still look like a man was he pretty man? Oh, yeah hundred percent a man There was nothing vaguely feminine about this guy. Hmm, I'm like tits or anything Where's like penis go in make tits like I guess his penis became like a cloaca, like the fishes.

Yeah, it opened up and went on in. Yeah, okay, all right, so that part was girl by that point. Oh yeah, he grew a vagina and ovaries and a uterus and all that jazz. Dude, they have like an 80s after they fuck and it's like assured now they're in this weird, I guess not even gay relationship. Like there's like an 80s music montage of like the black guys

now like, they're like serving each other coffee smiling and the black guys like rubbing the pregnant man's feet. It's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm like, and this is one of those movies that I threw on so I could like go on my computer and like look at hockey stats or like look at Twitter, see what was going on. And like halfway through I could like go on my computer and like look at hockey stats or like look at Twitter see what was going on and like halfway through I'm like how's this gonna what's going on how's this movie gonna end terrible ending nothing ends up happening they like the guy's like about to pop pregnant and they're like we have to find a new world for our baby and it was uh it was a little upsetting I didn't like it so two thumbs down don't like the Dave Rubin story. Is that what it I think Dave Rubin purchased his baby from Oh, so this would be this would be a

little this would be a little more ethical than that. Yeah. Okay. story. It's a true story. Yeah. And there was an entire B plot where that made no sense and added nothing to the plot where like, the black guy would be like I can't believe you were the president of the United States and the white guy's like I can't believe I made you my top advisor and it's like what is this what are we doing now? It had nothing to do with the rest of the story. It kind of does it explains why they're both there right the world there's been an apocalypse and no it doesn't you know the bunker they were in was if you and me, Kyle, made our own bunker.

It's not the president's bunker. It's like if I was a hobbyist and you were in the neighborhood when shit hit the fan. That would be the level of bunker this is. Well, that's what the budget could afford, you know? Clearly, I guess Vithik Ramaswamy got that shut down. Yeah Then Elon, but anyway, that was a terrible movie don't want it kept my attention It did keep my attention. I watched it like all those last night. My girlfriend had never seen good. That's a better movie Yeah, we yeah, it's much better movies. We watched that. It's fucking great. I Like good fellas. I like them

More than casino, of course. I don't like this, you know I don't like a seno because I don't like casino. I don't like casino because I don't like when they bury Joe Pesci and his brother alive. Spoilers. Goodfellas is the best crime movie ever. I like it more than the Godfather one. I'm a casino guy, but Goodfellas is great. Yeah. Oh, because it's a bad movie. I like it more than The Godfather one. I'm a casino guy but Goodfellas is great. Yeah. Oh, because it's a bad movie. I like it but just not as good as good. What's the one? Sharon Stone and Drunk Tale I like too. I'm more of the too fast too furious kind of guy. Tokyo Drift. Yeah. Yeah. What a great movie series. Last weekend, my wife and I did one of our little

sexcations but this time we just did it in Raleigh. We didn't go far. Like, we go to these other cities and we never check out our own. So we like to go on these walking tours just around the town, spend time together, whatever. And we went to the house of the guy who founded Raleigh. Apparently, Raleigh wasn't always the capital of our state. They moved it in and he convinced the powers, I guess, that British naval forces were dangerous and we shouldn't have our capital on the coast anymore. And I just happen to have a thousand acres to sell you if you move the capital to Raleigh, which is what he did.

And the tour guide was late for us because the previous group had questions after questions because they were like descendants of this guy and, or descendants anyway. So I'm like, oh, I wonder what they're like, right? Like this is an old school American family that's been here forever. And all I know is they're descendants. And like, this is all like, are they really wealthy?

Like this is like a founding father's a stretch, but at least a founding father of the capital of North Carolina. And finally the other tour group gets to where we are 20 minutes later and they're all black. And I'm like, oh, descendants. Oh, not of Joel Lane or whatever his name was, but of his slaves.

They were descendants of them. I didn't see it. There's a twist. Man, you got Sean Maland on the tour. Oh no. That's pretty funny. That's the whole story. Damn.

What's a- What kind of questions did they have? So they had, most of the record, this guy didn't keep like a good diary, like the better founding fathers. So all they had was Wills and like- Today sucked. Yeah, yeah. So it like, you could see like the people that lived here

and it was like Joel Lane III and then old Freddie, but it was like OL apostrophe Freddie. Oh my god. Old Freddy lived here. I don't think he was one of the owners. I think old Freddy was a piece of farm equipment that they owned. Yeah, exactly.

Oh man. That's so funny. To go there and be like, I can't wait to learn about history. And then it's that. Oh fuck. It's wait to learn about history. It's that. Oh, fuck. It's no, they got me. It's another slavery thing. Yeah, it was. There is a lot of slavery.

Dude, all the leadership in the South had slaves. Like, that's just the reality of what was up. Yeah, they were the elite and they're the rich ones. Most of the rich people in the North had slaves. It was a rich thing. Most people couldn't afford them. That's that moment where somebody knows like too much history about slavery at a party. You're like, okay.

Did you know that actually, did you know about the slave ships actually? And it's like, all right, calm's calm down about the fucking slave ships. I know where this is going. Wait, I don't know what this joke is about the slave ships. Taylor, because he just said, actually, the rich people of the North are enslaved, too, and it was like silence. Yeah. What is it about the slave ships that you didn't say out loud? No, they were owned by slave ships.

They were owned by Mexicans. They were owned by Mexicans. That's what it is. There is a particular group of New York intellectuals who owned a lot of those ships and shipping companies that did the shipping of the farm equipment. Yeah, they're pretty thrifty. And nobody comes to them. That's what it clicked for.

Yeah. You think Kanye knows that he loses mind If anyone is obsessed with that it's Kanye West. He's got 15 memes on his phone Poorly like poorly rendered like very artifact infographics from 4chan Somehow his phone degrades images when he saves it to them I'm glad he's not part of the administration Man he didn't even make a statement what the hell You know and celebrate at least Nick Fuentes pepper sprayed that fat chick that did you guys see that?

I'll show you Nick Fuentes! Oh hello! Oh, oh, oh, oh, McRubber's brain are falling down the stairs! I don't know about this. Oh man, Nick Fuentes got doxed. Nick Fuentes said, when Trump was elected, he said, your body, my, your body, our choice, or your body, my choice forever, right? You know, spiking the football, rubbing it in, spiking the womb.

So women got all upset and per usual And they started doxxing him and saying they're gonna kill him and calling him a Nazi and all this shit And they're like oh, yeah our body your choice about your balls my foot. How about your face my? Chainsaw how about your your whole life my fist like all shit over and over and over so some fat some fat vegan feminists decided that she was gonna make a you know viral video and she goes over to Nick Fuentes's house with her husband I don't know what gender he really is and a friend of hers I don't know what gender she really is and they're sitting in front of Nick

Fuentes's house, like daring each other to go fuck with him, right? Like, I'm gonna do it, now you do it, now you go fuck with the little, and Nick Flantaz is a little guy. He's been in here, he's probably like five, four, you know, he's wearing a child's suit, he's a tiny guy. He's got little,

he's a, you know, he's a little, I really like him, he's a little guy. So, the video, I really like him, he's a little guy. So the video goes up and it's from her camera, it's just her going up to the door and you see her fat hand reach out to ring the doorbell and I don't think she even gets to the doorbell before Nick Fuentes opens the door and just hammers her with pepper spray. And she goes, oh and she goes, oh, oh, oh, hi, oh, oh, what are you doing? What are you doing? She's like, she rolls, she, the camera falls like the Blair Witch.

She goes rolling back down the stairs like Indiana Jones, right? You know? And then Nick Fuentes kicks, like kicks the phone like he's back, like scooping it in the house like a cat burying shit, like, bam, and then it's a shot. Just looking up. It's a shot that shot on the right of Nick Flentes Look, that's her camera in his house And he's just looking down like and he says get the fuck out of here on the on the video and then it cuts out It's like I don't even look I don't give a fuck if he broke the law, whatever. It was fucking hysterical. Because you see, I'm so, you know, look,

you're going over there to cause problems. He's got 10,000 death threats. The fucking ADL is after him. Multiple countries have declared war on Nick Fuentes. You show up at his house, and before you even ring the doorbell, you show up at his house to turn him into content. That's what you're doing.

You're showing up to turn him into content. Before you even ring the doorbell, bam, pepper spray right in the face like the funny part about it to me was like uh the the immediate switch from like smug to panic and he like like it was he like open there's probably pepper spray on the back of his own door because he like opened, there's probably pepper spray on the back of his own door, because he like opened it like, ah! Like just immediately, and he goes, oh, oh, what are you doing?

And then it's like, again, a Blair Witch humble bag. She said that he, or did she say that he like, Sparta kicked her down the stairs after spaying? Yeah, she did say that. She did say, kicked her down the stairs. But then everybody's like, oh, he's going to jail. He's going to. But then she told the cops. The cops showed up, right? The cops showed up and she goes, I want to press charges.

And the cop goes, for what? What are you doing in his house? And then she goes, so now then she goes on Facebook and she starts crying and she's like, by the way, we should make Nazis afraid. Here's his address. It's like honey. That's like That is not your you are in the wrong here like whatever you think was happening if you're saying now Here's his address go make him afraid you are you're gonna get someone fucking killed by doing this I don't you probably kill him both because I don't know if Nick Bwendis could shoot a gun and not shoot out the back of his

house From the recoil, but it was a funny day for everybody. It was a funny day for everybody. Yeah, I saw that. I saw that clip and it was very funny. It was, it was reminiscent of the, the boogie thing, except someone was actually hit by the weapon. Yeah, boogie hit, shot Frank Castle, it'd been hilarious too.

Not a third grader's you know playground getting a hole in the slide three months away. Man oh golly that was the funniest thing Boogie's ever done. Oh yeah. He fought wins of redemption. It was the second funniest thing Boogie's ever done. You've got it where it's due. It's all bugging there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a funny clip.

Are there is there I don't know anything that came after it. Like who posted the clip? I mean, she posted the clip and said she's pressing charges, but I don't think anyone cares. I don't know if she has a kid. It is a song. Like on one hand, ringing someone's doorbell isn't a bad act typically, right? Like you're allowed to eat Girl Scout cookies or whatever, but she wasn't there to sell Girl Scout cookies. She was there to

harass and accost him. And he has on video apparently her, like putting her intentions in film, right? So, I don't know, fuck her. Fuck Nick Quintez too, no fan. No matter what it comes down to, like I always find myself taking the side of like, fuck the person that shows up at someone's house. Like with Boogie, like it made funny content, but like you shouldn't go to people's houses and threaten them with Quintus. Same thing. Even though like the story you're talking about with Riley,

I don't like people showing up and doing like real life shit to people for shit posting. Oh, yeah. Not that it But did he show up in a superhero cape? Is that what you said? He did show up in a superhero cape. Yeah, well the costume makes it okay. That was his business too. I mean that's a little different. Oh I'm glad you brought that up. Sure it's different than a house. It's a measure down from a house. Sure. There's this guy on Tik Tok and his business is you can hit him up and pay him and he will go to your place of work and he will cuss them the fuck out and tell them all the complaints that you have to them. And he gets his like first cameraman to come in with him to like a tire shop and just starts He's like, you're a lazy piece of shit. You're always fucking late. You steal the lunches out the refrigerator and like, what is this about? Shut up, you fat bitch, I'll get to you.

And they're just like, he's like, I'm from RNF complaints department. And I got a, I've got, yeah, I got y'all right here. What's your address? He's got like an- RNF, real- Real, we know. Neighbor. And I got a I've got yeah, I got y'all right here. What's your address? He's got like an art and F real Real we know neighbor I'm making a company head up just for the

Company head is but he has one with a real address and they're like incorporated it they handle complaints for people He's just like a labor union rap effectively, but no he's a tick-tock Thanks for people. He's just like a labor union rep effectively. No, he's a tick tock. No, he's a jerk. Who goes to your place of business and screams and curses at people to make them angry. But he's curiously-

He's doing pranks. Informed on why these people are bad. That's the thing. Yeah, yeah, so somebody who worked there has like hit him up on TikTok and paid him to go curse out their employees. Say he steals all the deviled eggs from the refrigerator. The guy's gonna be like, how'd you know that? That's a good, he does that. Yeah, he does exactly that.

Yeah. I'm beating his lunch. Yeah. And anyway. All right. So has anybody ever eaten one of your lunches at work? I had, we had a shared refrigerator where people would have like, you know, they'd order Chinese food and there'd be leftover food in there. And some people bring their lunch. No one would touch another man's lunch though. I see that online on Reddit and I'm shocked at it that another dude would steal someone's like fucking pasta salad. I have no idea. Not lunch like you're talking about but sometimes someone would have like their favorite cream for the coffee in the refrigerator and people might consider that to be more community. Like I like creepy but coffee too look, there's cream here in the refrigerator. Maybe not realizing or not caring.

I'm not sure which then somebody bought that. Yeah. I've never had lunch stolen. I've worked in offices for a long time and like that's never happened. You have to be so rude to just eat. And how would you not get caught? Are you doing it?

That sounds like you're doing it, Taylor. All that, like... That sounds like a canned response for you getting caught doing it. No. You can't even... You guys can't prove anything. You guys can't prove a thing. Oh, I'm sorry. He brought two roast beef sandwiches. He's not going to eat both of them. Like, what am I going to do? Will I go to waste? Right?

You're a hero. Take a little bite. I take a little bite so he thinks it was like a rat and he leaves it on the table. I eat it. No, I've never stolen a lunch and I've also never had a lunch stolen from me. That's so disrespectful though.

I see that on Reddit a lot. And I think to myself, like, I don't even drink my girlfriend's special milk. You know what I mean? Like, like. Special about her milk. I was what I mean? Like, like. What's special about her milk? I was like lactose free or something. It's like I'm gonna drink her special lactose free

fucking milk. First of all, I don't want it. Is it even milk then? Is it just kind of colored water? It tastes the same. I actually have had to drink it before and I couldn't tell the difference. I was waiting to see where this went.

I'm like, is she the source of this milk? Like. Fuck. No. Fuck no. You think I'm milking my girlfriend? Like, like she's a who cow. You know about this fetish? Now I know you were inferring that I had like a family somehow secretly, which is absurd, but even funnier.

There's a fetish called who cow H U C O W where dudes are into like turning women into cows and like, yeah, it does of course, but the subreddit is our who cow if you want to find us Maybe some some photos on there Zack that we could actually show people of the who cows Is this like a little niche subreddit? Of course, it's a nice sub. No Biggest not safe for work subreddit on red dude a hundred thousand members. That's niche Go to anal. It's probably like eight million. If you insist. Let's see.

Wow, a lot of these women. Anal's probably like three million or one. Dude, every blue tide you fucking cows. Yeah, that's the worst part about the Hugh cows. You'd think they'd have huge tits, but they're actually just fat. Some of them are on industrial cow milkers though. Here's one from seven days ago that's pretty cool.

And she has a cow print bikini on. Yeah, that's what I like. I like when they're in the barn and they've got one of a little time in the gym. They're who cows. What are you talking about? What are they grazing on? I need donuts.

Oh my god. Arby's. I went to Top All Time and this lady is just squirting pit milk all over her legs. I don't know about that one. That's some kind of goth who cow. That's a who heifer. I don't like that at all. That's kind of a why so serious take on the, that's kind of, that's a who cares. Actually, top all time is a winner. This chick. Taylor, that's the way to do it. I do like

the earrings. I did. Yeah. Top all time. And guess what? If this was my only idea of what this was, I'd be like, Kyle, I don't understand why this is niche. There's not a fan of this. And then you scroll down and it's like, oh, I get it now. It's mostly big old broads. Yeah, yeah. You know, you got to go to the. I top all of these subreddits. That's that's the way you find the good stuff. And whenever you find a new subreddit and you're like, holy shit,

there's 200000 people over here working, grinding, posting, masturbating, making sure that there's going to be some high quality content when I top all this thing. And sure enough, there's always some good stuff up there. You go to the comments on these posts? No, not the comments. I top all posts, you know, like top all time. What are the comments on the top of the who cows? Let's see. I'd keep you producing forever. You replied. I'd love that.

Still waiting to drop it on your beautiful feet. Monkey emoji grabbing his cheeks. You are stunning. What's the monkey emoji mean? I think it just means like, oh, wow. Ah, like that. I think. Okay. Oh, my God, girl. You have beautiful Shocking. I think. OMG girl, you have beautiful udders.

So jealous of how much milk you have. I hope my udders can be this full one day. Let's check out this chick. Does she have her post? Look at this, this guy. That's probably a dude taking a normal wanting to lactate. Now look at this guy.

We also got some normal guys in here. I need them in my mouth. Just a normal guy. Yeah, that's normal. Just a normal guy having fun. Oh god don't waste it. Let me have and then he has that emoji of like the two fingers going like this. Another another really my other like really funny not safe work subreddit is called cause penis. It's you know on this one. Cos penis is is great It's literally dudes posting pictures of their dicks and they dress them up as like characters and they do a really good job How about this here's a good comment on the never forget that you're looking at a penis in those yeah

Yeah, you can send it to like a friend or a family member at first. They'll be like, huh another Hitler, huh? Oh god That's cock Hitler. You look closely and you realize that's on a turtleneck. Yeah. Here's another comment from Hucao. Wow, all day every day. And when you start to make milk, I drink you like a Capri Sun. Hung out the corner of the mouth. You know what? The more of these I read, the more I realize these aren't these aren't normal people. Breeding, farming, milking, just moo the word. As a Taurus born, I know my way around feisty heifers. But he added an addendum because he's a man of culture. He's a redditor. You're absolutely gorgeous and the pic composition is first class

the thigh highs to the outfit and shine on your skin and the foot pose all combined to make this a top tier pose these guys like these these guys are all masturbating Like they're posting with a hard dick. Like I can't imagine wanting to post while jacking off. I'm pretty open minded. But posting the comments doesn't make any sense to me because like in what scenario are you ever going to like, like she's going to read your comment and think, oh, that that's that's a really astute observation that that that jackass Cuck fuck 69 there Uh made in my in my giant utter milking post i'm gonna hit him up see what he's about Here's the thing. It's gonna be like how it started and uh time to make chocolate milk. It's a black girl

Yoohoo, write that at that meeting. You have to add it. You liar. Yes you do. I make a new one once in awhile and then I forget it and can't log back in. I'm a lurker. There I thought lurker. Although I don't use Reddit too often anymore.

Twitter is just better. Milk me. I want to talk about the Tyson fight because Tyson's odds are getting higher in my mind. I Can I let me lay out my case against it? I'll be I'll be 10 20 seconds. So boxing in general We all know it has this amnesia effect on the viewer the casual viewer Especially where you forget that it's not like the movie Rocky, that it is a shitty, boring sport with the most corrupt or inept, however you want to look at it, judging in all of major sports, it is disgusting what boxing judges do on the regular. MMA is only better, I think, because of the high finish

rate. You know, there's a lot of bad decisions there too. But in the world of combat sports, it seems like judging is corrupt for whatever reason. So I don't feel comfortable betting on the fight at all. If it were a clean fight, and I believe that the judging was clean, that's what I mean by that. Like real judges who were going to vote for the truth that they saw, I would vote on Jake Paul 99 days out of 100. I would bet on him. That's all I got.

So, I'm still on Jake's. I still think Jake because he's bigger and he's younger and he's a good fighter. So, that's where I land. But I was watching Logan Paul talk about some of his Mayweather fight. Did you hear him talk about how Mayweather covered his mouth and he couldn't breathe? No. He was doing some sort of, he was hugging Mayweather how Mayweather covered his mouth and he couldn't breathe. He was doing some sort of, he was hugging Mayweather and Mayweather took his glove and he put it in Jake Paul's mouth and made him miss two breaths.

And he's like, that's some veteran shit. He's never seen that before. And he's like, that guy's gotta have a million tricks like that. And he's like, then, you know, like those two breaths, I never got the back. I was that much more tired. I, you know, he came out of that hoping

to have gotten some rest and he actually got even more out of breath because he covered his mouth and nose or stuffed it or something. And I'm like, man, I just know Tyson has all sorts of ring craft and clever veteran, yeah, the ear bite that Jake Paul's never seen before. And he's a really good fighter. He's gonna go in there and blitz him. He's

strong. He hits with bad intent and I can't wait to see it. It's tomorrow for us. I'm looking forward to it too. We'll be in the all you patrons listening to this uh the fifty dollar discord patron. We will be lined up in there watching this thing and we'll get reactions. Yeah. 8 PM tomorrow night. I guess is probably when like the beginning of it all is So if that's if it's one of those things where I see there's a like three or four fights before it I don't know the lineup. I'm sorry. I don't know the car

but if it's that and they're gonna have some like Some rap group I've never seen do like 40 minutes or some shit. I'll show it for the fight though So I look for these guys in there I'm not gonna bet on it though not not because I don't feel really strongly that Jake's gonna win but just because man that judging is bad and especially this isn't exactly an official like Event as well. This is Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson so I could just see some shady doings, you know going on What if they get out there and let they do one of those just like not even a real fight just sort of a

Fuck around kind of pity. I can't see Tyson doing that. And there are three title fights on this card. Now, I think two of them are women's titles. And I don't really know boxers well enough to tell you if like Mario Barrios versus Abel Gramos. Yeah, something people should be excited about. But they did their best, I suppose.

Yeah, I think having a watch over here and my girlfriend got temporary fake face tattoos for everybody. Oh, really? That's dope. But yeah, I like that. That's a good one. A little envelope showed up yesterday. She's like, it's a very party.

Hold on. She comes out. She's check it out. No, all face tattoos. Like She's like, it's a very party. Hold on. And she comes out, she's check it out. No, I'll face tattoo. Like, all right, that's that's going to be fun. I hope they don't wash off. That's a that's a four week commitment. Yeah. And anyway, yes. Before we jump to the next thing, we're here from a couple of wonderful sponsors, the first of which is blue chew. This episode is sponsored by BlueChew. Let's

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It's Trump's America. Put some of that money back into our show, right? I had a, I had a leak in my ceiling. We've got copper plumbing and I guess hard water or something. Minerals in the water, they said. Yeah. Ate this tiny pinhole in the copper and then that slowly began to drip in my garage and that dripped into like my box of sporting good shit Like all of my like oh no, I like accessories like like all my like Olympic rings and my boxing gear I have so much boxing gear and it's been dripping on them for like weeks And it's all destroyed. It's all destroyed it leaked on a We and it's all destroyed. It's all destroyed.

It leaked on a bunch of shit. I got to see what my homeowners insurance deductible is before I figure out if it's worth like filing a claim or not. But I don't know, top of my head, like two grand. What all got ruined because I know Olympic Olympic rings aren't a big thing. But like what else was in there that got fucked up? Everything you can imagine to equip three people to box plus like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Um, like, like, like three sets of nice gloves,

two sets of not so nice gloves, two sets of okay glove. I did that thing where I like kept buying and buying all my boxing gear, like a bunch of workout gear. That's like peripheral stuff. Like I've got one of those things you attached to your head with the weights to like do neck exercise and stuff Anything you can imagine like that. I've got weighted like my weighted vest I've got one of those things you could six I did have one. It's rotted apart now And then also had I don't know. I think this is a TV and some other stuff get ruined So I think I had a file a fucking claim. It's real shitty. That really sucks If it happened indoors, I would have caught it right away and it would have been fine, but ruined all my shit

Son of a bitch. Dick, you are a boxer, right? Do you ever still get in the ring? Oh, fuck no. I would break something getting in the ring. I don't have, I don't know, man, my tendons are falling apart. I don't know which drug did it or the alcohol did it, this is I lost a fight with a bowling ball so my my boxing days are over I feel like I have a permanent headache

now anyway so I don't know you tore your bicep with yeah I tore this bicep off a couple years ago they've reattached it I used to do a lot of kung fu and but what's that did it okay, your bicep? Yeah, it feels okay, but it feels like weird. Like it's just, you know, I don't know if I said this last time I was on, but it was really kind of jerky. Like it would, the fluid motion of having like a normal arm

where you can just do whatever with is just gone. From this one, it's like, it's really trembly, like kind of a newborn deer at the beginning. And then it's okay, but it's really tight. It got a lot better. My girlfriend and I would go play ping pong at the senior center every Wednesday. All these old bastards would come out and they're all But they're good They're really serious at least there's like tag teams I always like to imagine that they're all like swapping and fucking afterwards, right? Cuz they're all they're all stuck in the senior center. There's them and then at the very far end. It's out in

Pasadena Alhambra So there's always some there's always a couple of Chinese kids taking ping-pong lessons like Tiger Woodstock like really serious like ping-pong lessons They're over there going ha ha like Forrest Gump right at the end and then there's just us fucking around But doing the the little ping-pong motions helped helped it recover to normal So you play ping-pong? Oh, man, I'm the best at ping pong. I'm probably the best. I'd like to give this a go.

Really? You want to have a ping pong off, Woody? Is that what you're saying? Taylor, you ever play something that you've never played before with somebody who's a master at it, and they come down to your level and you have a good time? That's not how I do it. I've never done that.

I've never done that before. I played ping pong with Woody. It was the first ping pong battle I'd ever held in real life. He's putting so much spin on the ball, it's making noises. Bro, you're pretty good. I can't believe you had to play magic like a gentleman. The ball went past me. It went... LLL you're like a real. What do you play?

Woody, what's your paddle game? And then he did that like he had. He had a special two piece paddle. He got out of a dragon skin case. Yeah, I do have my own panel. So when I was like, oh my God, yeah, yeah, you have to. Of course, yeah, if the community paddles that are sticky so you can't play another ball, When I work at Cisco. Oh my God, you're cute. Yeah. Oh yeah. You have to. Of course.

Yeah, if the community paddles aren't sticky so you can't play another ball, you're uncompetitive without your own paddle. But yeah, at Cisco, they got a ping. There was a time, like at the dot com era, where engineers were highly valued, and they would do all these things to make the workplace more attractive to them.

And we had a ping pong table. Anyway, we played, I don't know, good 30, 60 minutes a day, we played ping pong. And I got competitive at it. And there were people who were good at the office, like guys who played on their collegiate ping pong team back in India. And the Chinese guys, the Indian guys,

the Americans, the Europeans, they all had like a different kind of game so you get exposed to all of it. And I was better than most, but not the best eventually. Did you defeat everyone at the house in Killington? Probably, yeah, that's not saying much though. There was like 20 of us. Everybody, there was a, I remember people being lined up to play ping pong with Woody

like he was a Donkey Kong machine. If you're actually good at something though, like clearly Woody is at this, like you just wreck casuals. Like, you know what you're doing, you know how to put spin on it. Like, yeah, I'll say this about Woody. He's got like lots of these like hidden talents, like his, his special version of autism has caused him to master like a dozen different

things that can be useful in various scenarios. Dude, have you ever seen a meat pussy? It's like watching a maestro. Oh my God. Can you climb a rope Taylor? Like, have you ever like climbed like a naked rope just straight up? No, we didn't have that in our gym. Oh, no. No, we did like pull ups and free hangs, but we never had a rope. I had never I've never climbed a rope in my life.

I we were at that Special Forces training ground and what he's like, I can climb a rope and I'm like, you can. And he's like, my Spider-Man. And he you went up high like a bear on a tree. Like, I don't remember how high it was. Shhhhthththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththththt 30 feet, I don't know. It was a sand pit underneath, but like dude, a fall would have been like, I mean, even, you'd have been fucked up. But yeah, I can climb it. Why are you so good at climbing ropes?

I have big lats and like pull-ups and rope climbing and stuff like that, I'm just better than you'd guess. But he knew the technique, like he did that thing where you grab the rope appropriately. Around my legs, it just comes. One foot was on top and the the other ones on the bottom. He was like, yeah, maneuver. OK, he scurried up that rope like a special forces soldier.

Yeah, I remember there were like there was a pegboard on the wall in gym class. Yeah. And like only the best wrestlers in the high school could do it. And for some reason, me like I'm just good at that kind of movement. We had one of those that are at the MMA gym I went to. I like those, those are cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's just all your hands and upper body

just doing that little. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But if you climb the wall like that, like there's holes. There's the sticks. You have that. Sticks going into holes. There's sticks or dowels in your hands

and there's like a pegboard with the holes big enough to put the sticks in and you just sort of like, I'm trying to do it. You poke him one, then you poke him the other. You don't use your feet? There's nothing to put your feet on. I guess they are. Wow.

Yeah. Dang, it sounds hard. You gotta be pretty fit to do it. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same movement you'd use in pull-ups and I don't compliment myself, but I'm good at that. Yeah, how many pull-ups can you do? I Could easily do three sets of 12 right now, but if you ask me to pull ups in a row, I mean

18 maybe could you do that thing at the fair where you have to hold on to the bar for like a minute I've heard it's like really tough because the bar is bigger than you expect and it twists. So you have to do, oh, Kyle's showing the thumb grip. Yeah, if you hold your own thumbs, then you can like grip it better. Like that? Yeah, because otherwise you're doing it

with your finger strength and people wear out. But if you lock it on your thumbs, there's a little friction to help you. Oh, okay. I don't know, I can't really fit people not do it so I don't want to claim I could but yeah I if you were to stack rank like other 51 year old men I do better than most I'm sure that. Yeah I think so too like it I think if you do that I would like to try to do that and like using that thumb grip that I've seen Reddit teach me

I saw a guy start doing it and the guy like slap like pulled him down Like the guy running the game was like get the fuck down from there if you're gonna do it right way Count cards at the pull-up thing. Uh-huh. Right scam. He didn't want to skate It's like what are you gonna be out of teddy bear you piece of shit? I Think it was $100, right? You get $100 if we can hold it. Oh, yeah, some of those I guess are more Oh, yeah Or more there's that other like almost impossible task where they take a mast like the mast of a ship and it's suspended up over

The water at an angle like pretty steep and they grease it They grease the shit and you're trying to run up Like this pole at an angle and it's greased up and everybody's just eating shit and falling in the water one That would be hard ungreased. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I've seen the rope ladder, but there's a swivel on both sides Yes. Yeah, it's real easy to flip over and they're like the trick is you put weight on both sides. Yeah. So it's real easy to flip over. And they're like, the trick is you put weight on both sides and whatever. Like that's not a trick.

Like that's still ridiculously hard. Yeah. It's like, here's the trick to benching three plates. Be strong. Yeah, right? The carny game where they shoot like three point baskets, they're like, well, what they do is they make the basket at 14 feet instead of 12 and they put it really far away and they make the basket a little smaller so the trick is to get it right

through the middle. Oh okay. The trick is to take that money you were going to spend on the basketball hoop and spend it on turkey leg so you can have a fun day at the ren fair. I think that a regulation basketball goal is twice the width of a basketball. So making it the width of a basketball makes it a terrible chance. You want to bet Taylor? There's you want to bet? No, it's five dollars or 10. Twice the diameter. Yeah.

Okay. I'll bet you $300,000. I said five or 10. What's the highest? You can't fit two basketballs through a hoop. Don't don't correct him. This is the dumbest thing he's ever wagered. Any any any any any he's right. Any amount of money.

Diameter of an of a basketball hoop is not double the diameter of a ball. Any amount of money. I was making $10. Zach is going to know this too. Zach already alright and I will Google make it $10. Zach? All right, send me 10 bucks. Zach, all right, and I will Google it.

$10 did we say? Yep. I'll search first for diameter of basketball. Search it on the Hoo Cow for it. All right, so it's about 9.5 inches. It says 943 to 951. Okay. Diameter of basketball hoop.

18 inches. Is it not? Slightly more. 9.5 is not. Yeah, it said it was like 9.4 versus 18. So it was, he's approximately right. Nope, I'm right. Well, yeah, we're not right. Let me do it this way was he's approximately right. Nope, I'm not. Well, yeah, right.

He's almost right. He's almost right. He's and what I like to call that by that. I like to call that is wrong. Yeah. OK. I did my best. I tried to be an honest. No, no, no. He's a total honest.

Are you I just I fact my best. I tried to be an honest. No, no, no. I believe he's a total honest argue. I just I fact checked it. It's almost twice as much, but just not enough for you to win the bet. I could have sworn it was two. I read that it was two. I've read that it was two and I've been told it was two. Yeah. Yeah. Those people lied to you. Fibbers. I bet you can't fit a woman's size basketball of course. I did of course mean a woman's basketball of course. That would be the funniest pivot. No obviously a man's isn't twice. The debt is forgiven. I don't need the $3. Neil deGrasse Tyson told me that it was double. Neil deGrasse Tyson? Yeah, he's the famous Italian spaceman. Oh yeah, deGrasse. Yeah, deGrasse. Remember when Drake was crippled in that show? Yeah. Yep. We all remember that. What are you talking about?

You don't remember deGrasse? That Canadian show where like Drake was the crippled kid? I didn't watch that show. No, I don't know. Drake the Rapper? Drake the Rapper was like the crippled kid. I didn't watch that show. No, I don't know. Drake the rapper. Drake the rapper was like the crippled kid into grassy. Yeah. Yeah. You remember this Dick, right? Yeah, but only because my girlfriend's younger than me. So that show hit like a,

like it's a sharp cutoff of a cliff and I'm too old to have seen it, but right after me, they loved it and they all get it. So I never got into it. Pick it up. What is the show? I'm a bit younger than you. And so like I was my house, uh, Degrassi, like D E G R A S S I, it was like a Canadian, like youth, like I don't even know.

It's like saved by the bell, but for Canadians. Exactly. Yeah. I've never heard of this show. I, yeah. And Drake is like kids were the age for this. Yeah, Drake played a little wheelchair guy the actual Drake. It's good for him There's representation actually know it's the opposite representation because he's not crippled We need an actual yeah ableist do you guys get into the Dungeons and Dragons cripple stuff at all or handicapable stuff?

Do you guys get into the Dungeons and Dragons cripple stuff at all or handy-capable stuff? But you know Dunge there's like the huge is this huge Civil War in Dungeons and Dragons now where the official Workbooks and stuff is catering to this woke audience So there's like every there's like wheelchair stuff in the game now where you could be your you like You're like an unencumbered like wheelchair bound orc and now there's like your character you can have like a list of like trigger situations and there's like a there's like a symbol that you do during the game if what if there's if they're doing stuff that triggers you like spiders or like gang rape or something if If it comes up, you make like a symbol and they shut the game down. It's really crazy.

They're trying to- That's cheating. No, I was with the crazy people at first. I'm like, oh, wheelchair characters? I don't give a damn, right? Like, what are they, were ramming attacked? Talk to me. That's crazy.

I mean, they- I mean, like- Yeah, they're just wheeling around the forest. It's a fantasy world. Put some fucking cherry in it's place. Put him on a horse. I love him, God. I don't know, I'm a here for it.

What do you got, a cane? I play Elden Ring and I like the cane sword. It's fun, it's not overpowered. I've got a game I use weak weapons. Yeah. So I was with you. But then the trigger stuff, oh, fuck. Oh yeah, they always have that one liberal guy.

They have, like liberals have this mascot where he's like this, like, that guy Hutch is trying to look like that guy. It's like this, he's got like a goatee and like this hair that looks like an ice cream at the top, you know, quaffed over the side. Yeah, kind of. And he's like, hmm, look at me.

I hate gang rapes and goblins in my Adventure and he's making this symbol like stop the story It's funny cuz all the autistic people are getting like cuz they're taking two groups woke people that have no definition for anything and Hyper-nerd autistic people who love Dungeons and Dragons who have a definition for fucking everything and like just mushing them together and it's not working for some reason. It's really funny to hear him fight about it. Why would you what? Why?

Why would you want to be a crippled character in the fantasy? Cause they fetishize like, like minorities, the woke people. My assumption was that they were crippled. Like I'm in a wheelchair and in this fantasy I'm also in one, but I'm a badass wheelchair. Yeah, but then like you're going to be using magic forever. Like if I was going to play D&D, I wouldn't be like, my character is going to be named Taylor and he's six foot tall and struggles with his weight and he's from the middle east. And he often gets sad and binge eats at night.

No, I would be like, I'm a fucking orc named Ugluck and I cause problems everywhere I go. Like you're- I hate all the hot chicks who rejected my friends. Wait, which one was you? The more I eat, the happier I get. I'm the coolorquity. That other homo isn't nothing. I just don't get that. If you're going all in on a fantasy, why would you want a wheelchair? Even if I was crippled and I was playing D&D, why would I want

to bring something frustrating and painful into a world where I can invent anything? I will say this, if I'm in a wheelchair and like, I count the steps my character takes everywhere, it's a little insulting every single turn Taylor. It's like, and you take eight steps forward, but I, you know, I haven't taken a step since 72. So like, could we make it yards? I wheel. Can we make it that way? Yeah, like roll to see if the Goblin succeeds in gnawing off your little wretched foot. I I've never played Dungeons and Dragons. Have any of you?

I did when I was a kid. Not a lot, but I played a bit. This guy says he's going to call into my show this week and like do a 10 minute adventure because Sean, my co-host, wanted to play and he's never played it before. Ten minutes, huh? Yeah, I don't know. He's a he's a funny guy and he's never played it before. In 10 minutes, huh? Is that the same? I don't know. He's a funny guy and he's a dungeon master. So he says he could do it and I'm gonna believe him.

What's his name? Is he like a famous dungeon? Are there famous dungeon masters? I don't know. A hard bastard or something? Let me look it up. No. Hard bastard. He's not a famous guy. I don't know. Well, within that community, I'm not sure. That would have been a great Bluetooth.

The hard bastard. Yeah, that's pretty fucking ridiculous. Like you, you, dude, that was my favorite install from Xbox Live back in the day. Dude, if you can go like this to stop anything in a fantasy game. Memes lick. That's his name. Yeah, right? Yeah, if you can be like- A lick like a necromancer, not lick like a penis. And from the depths of this dungeon

comes a dangerous draugr. That's too scary. Time out. Time, and it's like, no, bitch, you're just scared because the draugr has stats you're afraid of. That's horrible. I would wheel whatever person was doing that

in my D&D session, just put them on the curb. Yeah. Get out of here. Down the stairs, the battery to their wheelchair. My house isn't wheelchair accessible. And so that, Oh, I don't know why that sprung up this memory. Did you hear Trump's plan for the homeless tent city? Tent cities. Yeah. Where he's going to make it illegal to do now. Maybe right in LA. No, no, no, no, no, no. Trump is going to make it illegal for you to camp out in town and he's going to

set up his own tent city where there's doctors and law enforcement over there. And that's where all the homeless have to go to the tent city. I don't know where over there is, but I hope it's far enough that you can't smell it. So it's taking all the homeless and moving them away from like high traffic from people high foot traffic area But the populated areas and put them in the Midwest. I don't know You know, he's talking about building new cities, right? He's talking about all but he was like there's tons of land that we don't use like we're gonna build new cities

I kind of like the idea of a brand new city. That would be fun. Homie town. Like an expansion team. Like they get to pick a few of the best from all the other cities. Maga town? If we pick a little bit of like-

Freedom town. If we pick a small amount of like North Dakota and we just send all the homeless there, that would be, think about how much better every city would be. They're having a fun time. They're doing drugs to their hearts content. They're having a blast. They're doing homeless things. And we get to go to blues games without seeing people shitting under a bridge. Is there a warm place we could put them?

Yeah, hell. What about this? How about they can earn a warm city if they behave? Like Nevada's got lots of open land. Haiti's warm. Haiti's unbelievably warm. Oh my goodness. We're talking about real places. I just think they're going to die in North Dakota. I would love to send them to Haiti. Why don't we just send the homeless to Haiti? They can get that whole situation. Oh, you're saying Haiti, the country.

Yeah. I'm in Haiti's. You're all like, send them to Haiti's. Haiti's is warm. It's warm, Woody. And I'm like, I'm being serious here. No, that was being serious. Haiti, good idea. They can live on the beach and we're going to send them all with a pocket full of seeds like Johnny Appleseed because they're not good at maintaining trees there. They're going to plant trees the with a pocket full of seeds like Johnny Appleseed because they're not good at maintaining trees there. They're going to plant trees the whole way. Yeah, turn the tables on Haiti for one. Turn the tables.

The Dominicans, they're going to be, actually they want, the Dominicans say Haitians more than anyone on earth. Yeah, he said he was going to make tent cities and fucking shift them all into the goddamn tent cities and make it illegal to camp out in the normal cities where the rest of the world lives. See, that would be awesome. It fucking reeks of piss throughout LA now. It's so fucked here that this last election, we replaced this Soros, like super progressive DA, who said he's just not arresting anybody for, or he's not prosecuting anybody for doing any kind of shoplifting

So don't even bother to the cops The new guy who we kicked him out. We brought the new guy in Like 60 to 65 to 35 or something like that. So huge landslide the new guy came in and said I'm bringing back the death penalty in LA which I don't even know if he can do, but that kind of shit to say in Los Angeles is a major reversal of what's been going on. Sure. People are pissed at the crime, aren't they? Oh, dude, two kids, two teenagers got shot and killed like probably a quarter mile from my house.

And I live I live in a pretty nice neighborhood. Neighborhoods around here get nicer, obviously. But it's like unheard of the crime that's going on around here. I feel like Trump watched escape from New York and is like, that's a good idea. We should do that. We should put all the criminals in one city. Yeah, we should do it like Shutter Island, where we gaslight them, that they used to be different people.

It's like a lot of effort. Just a huge, we're taking all the money we're saving from Vivek's plan and we're putting it into gaslighting homeless people. Is it possible he'll do that? That seems a little oppressive as far as federal governments moving people around like that. Homeless people are a, and I really biased because like I'm from St. Louis. And so every time I go to our,

like St. Louis homeless are not a fucking joke. They're not Seattle homeless. Like these are violent people who are like, they will chase you to your car after a hockey. Take them Taylor. They've got weapons like they're they've got broken bottles and knives and AIDS and hepatitis like hepatitis. Like I don't like it's not saying you'll come out unharmed. I'm just saying my money's on you. I'm saying I have more empathy for the vast majority of people

who are having like all the walking areas down there destroyed. When we could just move these people to somewhere where they're not like actively harassing citizens. of people who are having like all the walking areas down there destroyed when we could just move these people to somewhere where they're not like actively harassing citizens. Do you think you could take a homeless man with a broken bottle and you've got a hockey stick? Like how does the hockey stick fare as a melee weapon? If I have a wooden goalie stick, yes. What about one blocker? Not a goalie stick. Fuck that. Really? Goalies love to fucking hit people with that blocker not a goalie stick Really goalies love to fucking hit people with that blocker, it's like their other hobby Look at the other way would he

Stick is really good. I guess you could bash someone over the head with it It'll probably it might break if you hit him. I mean if you hit someone hard enough But usually what you're doing with the hockey stick in hockey is like hooking people and that's like pulling them towards you and that's not what you want to be doing with a home you want to could you do that to an assailant do you think you could like up into him like batman no no he's not on ice he's's true. And he's motivated and he's high. Yeah. So Taylor question for you. You really got him up to for people who never played hockey. It's really normal for an offenseman to stand in front of the goalie and obscure his view. It's legal. You just need to stay out of the crease.

And the goalie will sometimes hit the guy in the balls because he's standing back to the goalie and the goalie has a free shot. Have you ever goosed somebody with your stick? No, I've never met someone in the junk. The way you would like, if there was a bunch of traffic in front of my net, the way you get away with like doing something dirty there is if you're feeling really ballsy, you can take a hack at someone's ankle,

but it takes a lot of traffic around your net. And then the problem is that your stick is now off the ice. So you're going to feel like a real retard if you go to like do a little smack on someone's ankle and then the puck slides right where your stick previously was. And so what you'd actually do, and this likely wouldn't work against NHL level skaters, but they're facing the other way, Woody. And you use your stick and you poke check the back of one of their skates to cause them to fall. And that looks like an organic fall that was caused in the scrum. It doesn't identify you as the goalie. It's causing it directly. And so that's what I would do. If I was trying to trip someone up behind the net or in front of my net, I would wait for them to face away.

I'd look kind of side-eye, see what the ref was looking at. And then I'd do a little poke check to the back of one of their legs. And then they do that, whoa, fall back and maybe they fall. And now the play is clear a little bit. The defenseman can be a little more aggressive and getting the puck because there's not someone threatening the front of the goal. Do they do mic'd up for hockey? Yeah, they do. They're so polite. It's hilarious. Like it'll be some giant Canadian guy skating up and being like, Hey, you want to drop them? And the other giant Canadians, like this early in the game, bro. Like, yeah, let's just get it done. You know, we're going to have to do this at some point in the game. All right, let's do it. And then they just fight each other.

It's great. It takes away from a little bit, right? Don't you want them to have more of an angry rivalry? They never seem to. Usually like after the fight, they like hit each other on the back and they're like, good scrap, bud. Like, because it's just more in hockey. Like I don't think this is much animosity taken from it. Like if there's a brawl in baseball, that's not part of the sport. They probably have like genuine hatred in their heart. Like they're angry at the time they're going to fight.

In hockey, it's like the, the bruisers are doing a job where it's like, hey, that's the guy who just tried to trip up our star. Go for it. Half the UFC use hating their opponent as a motivation. Yeah. You think that's about right, Kyle? It seems like it, it seems like it, that it,

maybe even more, like, like it's hard to tell cause there's so much gamesmanship WWE style like trying to hype the fight and everything so it behooves them to make it seem like it's real That's kind of hard to tell I know if I was gonna fight somebody if I was a professional fighter Unless I thought getting in their head Conor McGregor style was a thing and I don't I would be so sweet I'd be I'd be sending their wife like like a flick flowers I'd be like they they they could they'd take that the wrong way yes I got your package today you piece of shit this is this personal now I'm gonna hurt you

you don't like flowers you misunderstood my gesture sir please don't turn your back on me now. Dick, you were a big tennis guy, if I recall correctly. Did you ever square off against someone in tennis that you thought you couldn't take in a physical altercation? Oh, what? Man, I wasn't thinking about that shit and playing tennis. That's like, I don't know if anybody thinks like that, playing tennis. What are you talking about?

In case it gets rough and tumble, like you start to really dispute, was that in? Was that out? No, the only thing I ever thought in playing sports was like playing baseball and it was, how could I hit this guy? How could I hit my own? How could I hit my friend in the nuts here? He's seen, he's going to know if I try to come in from the back. I've already thrown my glove at his nuts here Maybe I could hide behind the wall after he's done doing soft toss And then I could hold the bat like this and turn around suddenly and hit him with the heel of a bat All right, let's try that and then I would get my friend on first to signal me when he was coming around and I'd go Oh, well, hey and then turn around real fast. That's pretty much it

Yeah, I'm white I don't think about like fighting people Yeah in that way, yeah How honest were you when you did you you have a ref or were you your own ref? What's that? In tennis, in tennis, like, you know, calling the shots, was it in bounds, out of bounds, et cetera, who did that? Yeah, you do, as when you're like a kid and a teenager.

Yeah. I don't know when that stops. I had a high school tennis friend who said that, so if you don't know tennis at all, on the line is in, it's not out of the court unless it's on the outside of the court's line. So on is in. And they just all cheated kind of almost fairly

to the extent that on the line was out. Like that is the level. Yeah, that was, and he made it sound like he did it. The other team did it. It was just generally, they shrunk the court by that much and it was still fair. They just all cheated by the same amount. I remember some, I remember some people doing that and then getting shouted at

for calling stuff out and just going like, okay, whatever it was in. I don't, I don't give a shit. Yeah. I don't, none of this matters. Nothing. This matters. This is dead. None of this matter. I don't, I don't give a shit. I don't, it'd be ridiculous. None of this matters. Nothing. None of this matters. This is tiny. None of this matter. You don't matter. None of us are going to be Andre Agassi. Wasn't he the best? Who turned out to be addicted to meth. So, and who had no hair.

Was he? Oh yeah. Yeah. That was a funny, I told you so. Cause my dad really wanted me to be a tennis star when I was a kid. So he's like, you gotta get out there. Yeah. And then you have the makings of it. Did you have the makings of a varsity athlete? No. I mean, well, yeah, I played varsity, but I hate sports. That's kind of a prerequisite. So then he was always when I was a kid, like, yeah, you know, look at him. Watch this. He's a great guy. Look at this. Look at these guys. You got to be like them. And then I grew up, he wrote that big Agassi wrote that tell all where he was always when I was a kid like, yeah, you know, look at him. Watch him. This is he's a great guy. Look at this. Look at these guys. You got to be like them. And then I grew up, he wrote that big Agassi wrote that tell all where he was like, yeah, my life is all fucked up. I was addicted to meth. I had no hair. And I was like, ah, do you see this book, Dad? I am addicted to drugs, but, you know, it's not.

I took something out of his. They all roads went to the same place. Was your dad like a hyper athlete and that's why he wanted to push you that way? Uh, yeah, he loves sports. My sister's a big athlete though. She played in college, college softball. You still watch baseball. I got the only thing I know sports about you is like you do like the Dodgers, right?

Yes. I only when they're winning, I'll watch them in the playoffs. You know, we won the world series. That was fucking, that was great. Beating the Yankees. Oh yeah. That's solid. I was posting world trade center, you know, is getting blown up. Every game that we won. That was pretty good. That is a good meme. Good trash talk. Yeah. They're all sensitive about nine 11. It's like, yeah, over. Yeah, get over it.

Yorkers. You weren't there, gay lords. Get over it. Shut up. Sound like the Parkland kids. Oh, my God. You think kids now are like, hey, hey, mom and dad, if I get killed in a school shooting, don't use me in a commercial for the onion, please.

I don't think kids are astute enough to be requesting that, but they probably should be. They should be putting in their will. Don't use me for any promotional purposes. If I'm killed in a tragedy, don't profit off it. At least not the onion. Come on. Actually, Sam Hyde, you know, help Sam Hyde out, not the onion. Help the Ghost of Kiev.

Oh, yeah. I was killed in a school shooting when I was a kid. I would not have minded if my parents used it to make money. Really? Yeah. I mean, like, they're already sad enough. I wouldn't mind money in any kind of way. Not any kind of way. Wait, are we giving a hard time to the

parents of the victims of a school shooting? Not we, we're they. I am. They. What? You think they shouldn't have sued Alex Jones? Yeah, fuck that. A billion dollars? That's less than he would have to pay if he killed them himself. That's a little much, don't you think? I don't sympathize with Alex Jones. It came out he sort of knowingly was lying in an effort to profit and pimp his supplements and such like he wasn't yeah He was a liar. That's now allowed to get children's families Dollars what he that's a little much don't you think it doesn't matter it could be 30 billion. It's just whatever he has Yeah, so you can't, okay. It's just a way to destroy his...

And not have a trial, not have a trial and then selling his... I remember the trial. Where you can't bring evidence and there's no jury. That's not a trial. He didn't show up to his deposition, right? Like he failed to show up at the trial. He failed to show up at his deposition. And then he's like, I didn't get a chance to talk. Yes, you did. You just- So you think he had his due process, Alex Jones? Yeah, I do. But he decided not to show up and explain his side. So- Okay.

The text message kind of proved everything he needed to know he's guilty. Guys, this was supposed to be a lighthearted joke about me being murdered and being okay with my parents making money from it. And now you're talking about gay-ass politics. All right, so that's your legacy. They make money off your legacy. What about literally making money off you? Like, let's say you die and for whatever reason, let's say you literally die tomorrow. And for whatever reason, whoever's in your life who has access to your remains, they want to have a little fun. And so they give your remains over to Woody and I. We form an LLC that does scientific research called PKA technical technicalities.

And then they donate that make it all legal. Now we have your corpse. If we dismembered you and sold the pieces of you bit by bit to the fan base, like is that something that would upset you to know was going to happen or which are you like, you know I'm totally fine with it. You guys are my friends. I want to leave something to you. Mm-hmm. That's so man I appreciate the hell out of that all day every day, but you know, but the top bitter on your head is gonna God it's gonna be so cool We're gonna take his head is gonna go for a mint

But I don't care how much it costs I want to keep the ass cheek with the dent in it because that's it healed. He healed that's mostly buffed out by now. It's part of God's great mysteries. You've a dick I fell out of that. What do you mean? No, buffed out with like years of putting more frequency in this cheek with lunges. Years of it. Years of it. What did it look like? It was all fucking fucked up.

It was all dent. So I was like- You know when you take an air hose and you blow into your belly? Yeah, not quite that extreme. But like, and it wasn't on the ass cheek. It's more like the highest amount of butt that can't be considered back, like in that region. And so like I was wasted at a friend's

bachelor party. Like this is probably 2017 at this point. And we got trashed and we were having a great time. And when I got there, I got there late and it was a big house in the Ozarks and there were tons of beds downstairs for like the sleeping quarters and everything because it was for a weekend. And I got down there and I was like, Oh man, there's only a top bunk left. I always would roll out of those because I'm a very active sleeper. I move around a lot. And in my head, like, I was like, it's fine. You haven't fallen out of a bunk bed since you were a child. Now I didn't have the cognition at that time to go, you haven't fallen out of a bunk bed since you were a child because you haven't been in a bunk bed since you were a child. You fucking fat retard. And so I like went to bed that night.

The bar that's supposed to keep you in wasn't screwed in. It had like one weak nail on either side. And so I rolled in the middle of the night and this was like a military style bunk bed. And so I wasn't five and a half feet in the air like a children's bedroom. I was easily six foot four in the air. And I rolled out of this thing. I blasted through the side of the I knocked the whole the whole board off. And I fell eight feet or six and a half feet. And I landed on the board from that high in like deadweight mode. And it landed where like the board stuck, like the flat part of the board hit my ass so hard that it dented the musculature in my ass.

And so the next day we were going home. The next day, it wasn't even, actually the next day wasn't even the end of the trip. And so the next day I'm in a horrible mood. Everybody's getting drunk. I'm not even drinking. I'm like, I want to go fucking home. This sucks. And so like the whole ride home, every time my friend would take a left turn in his fucking expedition or whatever, it was pushing me to the right. And I was like,

whole ass cheek was black, black as night, midnight. He was so bruised. And then when it went down, like I put on like shorts and I'd look at my left ass cheek and be like Nice ass nice curved ass. I've always been I've always been kicked up asking you Yeah and then I would turn to the right and like I'd see a drape and then an Actual indent in how my shorts were hanging. Yeah, and so like the I convinced myself I was like I can work out through this. And so I went back home, waited for the bruise and everything, all the pain to go away. And I was doing like split

lunges for a long time, like Bulgarian split squats. And I would like do my normal weight with my left leg, which is not the injured ass blasted through it just fine. And then like, I went and did it with the right leg. And like, this was an amount of weight that I was incredibly used to, there was no reason for this to be difficult for me. And like, I would get down and like halfway through the movement, like it would die out on me. It was like I would get a sting of like sciatic pain that would go down to my left like kneecap almost like a really weird numbness and stinging and like it just died. So I had to yeah, nerve damage. And so I had to do like I had to rehabilitate my own right ass ass bachelor party with a huge amount of lunges. And it is literally only in the last couple years

that like all put on like all like after the shower, look at it and be like, we're getting we're getting back baby. We're double checked again. And so thank God I can still see maybe it's because I have a trained eye. Like I can still see where it of your own ass of my own ass. Yeah. And it's, it's mostly fixed now, but I'll never have the beautiful ass I had before. It'll never be the same. And in those years I have gotten hairier and so everything's going downhill. Like I used to be nice hairless.

Oh, the hair you get, you get that,'s you know that's an illusion of normal roundness. That could and I think there's a choice that you have a lot of I don't really I'm kind of memeing on that I'm hairy everywhere I don't really have a hairy ass or hairy back the shoulders I'm losing I'm losing the shoulder battle. What's that mean? Meaning that like more and more hair is showing up on my shoulders. And some of them are like, like an inch and a half long where like I'll look over and be like, where the hell did you come from? And I'll have to pluck that out because like it's not a full thicket yet, but I'll see like,

like it's like a guy who's holding onto hope that his hair is not going away. Like I could comb over my shoulder. So you got one of those curved, those circle, your curved mirrors with lights on it, like old ladies have. So you can look at your shoulders and pluck the hair out. I don't have to do that. I can just look down this way and go, that's a fucking monster. And then they make a back scratcher like apparatus with a razor on it, you know.

Well, the only place on my back that gets hairy, I have no back hair other than like that, like nape of the neck where like kind of your hair from your head just grows down too far. So I'll just take a razor and just that up if I, and like I have to go somewhere and I don't have time for haircut. Honestly, I think I'd take a beard trimmer to the shoulders

because Kyle's idea of shaving it, in my opinion, is only good that first day. Day two, you're stubbly, which I consider to be worse than hairy. That's my opinion. But if you were to just make all those inch and a half long hairs a centimeter long, then you'd look less hairy. Then you wouldn't be stubbly. He'd be poking through his shirt.

I should do that. They would be poking through his shirt and then should do that. They would be. They would be. And then he could sense the environment like Spider-Man. Oh, I have a little I have a little feelers like it's. Yeah, they get cat whiskers. How did he know I was behind? Can I fit through the doorway? Oh, I've said before, I once in my entire life, I dipped my toe in shaving my chest

because I have a pretty hairy chest and like, I didn't want to commit to shaving at all because I don't mind having a hairy chest, but I was like, I was probably like 18, 19. And so like my chest was actually decently hairy, but like the hair started from the nipples and then like spread to the rest of my chest. And at that time, like the length of like all the hair up here and like down wasn't as long as the initial part, which was my, like the area around my nipples.

And so I was like, man, these fucking long ass nipple hairs, I look like a fucking goober with these. And so like right before I went on a beach trip or something, I like took a little, little racer and I went, both nipples. And then my nipples were just on hair Island. There was no, uh, there was no fade through to the rest of my hairy chest and so I just had these little ways I had these little baby nibbles and there was no hair on it looks like a fucking retard so I never did that again now if you

leave your shirt on at the beach no oh you know why don't you shave everything just spend the whole time like this. No, I'm not gonna shave everything because there's a lot of hair and it was gonna get stubbly. Aw, that's worth it. The move would have been the beard trimmer again. Just reduce the amount. Yeah, using one of those orange one-blade bicks to go,

vroom. You could shave a happy face and then say you're doing it as a joke. Everybody, doesn't this look like shit? Yeah, it's a happy face. I did it to be funny. I did it on purpose. I did it for the memes. Yeah no I didn't think of that and so that was... Take a pic. I felt like a fucking idiot that whole weekend. How old were you? Like 19 maybe 20. Oh yeah yeah that was rough and I and that's been what 13 14 years now. Chest untouched, leave it as is. It doesn't keep growing. It gets to its max and then it chills, you know,

isn't that how your guys just hair is? It's like your, it's like your head hair. It's like it's eyebrows is a better example. I get like hairier as the years grow on my chest though, because when I was 18, it was just this wisp of a hair like between, between right in the middle of my chest and like more and more it's like growing in and becoming like a man's chest. You're still filling out. Still filling out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It could be. Um, uh, uh, it, people react to that differently. So that could be part of it.

I was thinking for you earlier, I, we were talking about it. We moved on to that differently, so that could be part of it. I was thinking for you earlier, we were talking about, we moved on to something else. Human growth hormone would help so much with your ligaments and tendons and shit like that. Oh really? Like, I'm not, it's what keeps Joe Rogan together and doing jujitsu and all those silly sports he does and looking like that at his age. He takes human growth hormone and TRT. OK, I'll look I'll look at it. I'm about I don't know.

Maybe I got two good years, two two natural years left in me. And I got to start going on. Or chemicals, though, right? Yeah. If you go with pharmaceutical human growth hormone, it's like a grand to grant a month. And if you or or I don't know know I heard somebody say one time that if you just go to a certain website and you just order it to your house then it'd be like $200 is that like certain website would be Alibaba question work look it's got to have a Z in

it and let me just like hammer home like I will pay that if I ever get human growth hormone I'll pay $2,000 rather than risk the wrath of the federal government the second time Like I'll just pay through my teeth and pay for the real shit but the average character Might be tempted to go to certain places on the internet and just find it for one-tenth the price and it's legit Human growth hormone. I don't know but there are a lot of things for sale that you're just not allowed to use on humans, right?

This is for your lab rat hobby, and that makes it legal-ish, I guess. So I don't know what the legalities are around that sort of thing. Murky, murky. I mean, RFK, you know, he's coming into power, so I think they're gonna have an open mind to such things is all I'm saying. But yeah, human growth hormone, if you,

and a doctor will tell you this too, or certainly a bro scientist will tell you, like you'd be feeling like a million bucks. Does that ever get in here? Yeah, my doctor wouldn't tell me that. She just tells me to lose weight and stop drinking. I got my own. What a splat.

What a retard. She fucking sucks. She's like this 85 pound Chinese girl, probably first Vietnamese girl, first year out of med school. She's like, well how, she comes, and she's got that look on her face. Her face doesn't move, but I can tell she's sneering. She's like, how often do you work out?

Like six days a week. She goes, oh, you're what we would consider obese, or overweight. I'm like, how the fuck, really? Of all the people, I saw who's in the waiting room. I have a working out problem? Get the fuck out of here. You shoulda hit her back. You're what I consider flat chested, bitch.

You're going out of this fucking window, bitch. And then, cause I'm the only person in the world that's like honest about what they're taking, drug-wise, with the doctor. She's like, you do what, how drug-wise with the doctor. She's like You do how often am I that's not that often? I know what people do way more than that. She's like well No, I want to know oh Well, how do you what do you think we could cut down on the drinking for him like after this I'm drinking today for sure

Went in there to get Adderall by the way go in there in there and said look I'm tired of buying Adderall illegally. Could you just give me a what do I have to do to get a prescription from you? She goes I don't we don't do that here you have to get in this you have to get a psychiatrist and they're all full. I said okay so I can't so no at all? She goes no now let's talk about your your weight why do you think you need you need that? I don't know, it's like a pep, so I could pay attention. She's like, huh, do you wanna get on SSRIs? I'm like, no, I don't wanna get,

what are you talking about, SSRIs? What, are you trying to turn me into a school shooter? Yeah, I'm here for meth, you dumb bitch, why would I want SSRIs? Well, some people say it helps them with their drinking, I doubt that. I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that SSRIs help them with their drinking. Guess what, bitch? I'm gonna get drunk. As a chaser? I don't think so.

Like, what the fuck is this bedtime? Who does this speech work on? Oh, hi. you're an overweight 44 year old man. Can I- oh you want some meth? Can I interest you in some- in some not drinking? No, thank you. Can I interest you in some SSRIs like a wine mom? Absolutely not. Thanks. What was the drug you mentioned that had her like being agitated or giving you the sneer where she was like all of them what are you talking about you made it seem like there was a drug I think it was the every weekend that could she's like how can you do that I'm like I just probably every weekend she's like huh what I

actually I think it was the attitude that got her. She's like, no one's ever said every weekend before. They're always like, oh, you know, I do it. I don't know. Not recently. I don't have a problem. What do you do every weekend? Get used to fibbers. Party's just alcohol. Just podcasting.

Podcasting and a little smoke cane? Yeah, I like to do crosswords. You know, you do them across. Yeah, do the lines across and then you do the lines. Yeah, understand. Do a little scrabble. A lot of fun. Even I'm getting it now. Yeah.

If you really want to see a doctor make a face you've never seen before, just tell them, tell them normal drugs everybody does and how often normal people do them and they'll fucking lose it no I didn't a friend of mine just said like oh you got a good one like a like a bullshit doctor you went to a regular yeah I got prescribed it when I was like 12 or 13 so now it's like just a they just give it to me They're like if you ever if you've been prescribed it before they're just like, oh you're good and just give me more. It's wonderful Well, I didn't get on that track my my parents were too busy trying to make me play tennis so

I didn't get grandfathered into the adderall, you know, they just want to be to pay attention Do you like an overall like just why like me?. Do you like Adderall? Why? Me? I know you like it occasionally Kyle. I don't think it's healthy or I might take it every day. I would definitely occasionally take big doses of it just to live in that world of pure euphoria

for a few hours. I did not get that from Adderall when I took it. I do. Kyle and I have ADHD, that's why Taylor does it. So you get all fucked up and cracked out. Yeah, it's amazing. Like a neurotic lunatic. I haven't taken it in years. So if I were to take like 20 milligrams of instant release, amphetamine salts, I would probably lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling and make plans Yeah for all the cool things. I'm gonna do this week You know what I mean? Like like I mean like things are gonna be different around here You know you get into that mode Yeah, like that you start fucking sketching and like coming up with all like like you're gonna need tables to explain the changes

You're about to make I'm gonna get this hobby. I going to start this hobby. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to do it right now. Let me sign up. It made me stressed out. Stressed out. Yeah. I was just cleaning. Did it help at all? No, it was literally a friend of mine who got like, I probably did it a dozen times in college where like,

but I was never consistent. Like one of my friends would have like a 30 XR and then another friend would have like a 15 IR. So like, like I didn't know the difference. And so like he'd give me this, he gave me this capsule full of like these little, little balls inside the capsule. And then I like took that no idea what I'm getting into. And like, I, I didn't sleep for like a day and a half. Like I was like scrubbing the baseboards of the dog shit college apartment I was living in. I was. Adderall's not for you Taylor. No, it stressed me out. It was like I've never enjoyed cocaine. I've done cocaine enough to know if I was going to be a fan of it and I've never enjoyed it. Nah, you got to do a little more then. That's too quaint early.'ve found a grid where they'd be like, you just you just need to do a little more.

And I'm like, OK, and then you're doing bad stuff. I feel kind of good for like 10 minutes and then it's totally gone. I've done it once. Didn't notice I was on it. I've had modifinal a prescription, which is like Adderall, but it's it's easy to get if you have sleep apnea, which I do. So I didn't eat Modifinil, but I last too long in bed, which sounds like a roast, but it's not.

You gotta finish on time or that becomes a bad thing. And that's why I stopped. That's why I want that more. When I say Adderall, I mean amphetamine salts. That's what I was always prescribed. I think they're chemically somewhat different. Is that what it is called? Is there a name for it or is it just amphetamine salts? Like the generic like chemical is amphetamine salts.

That's what and it's these little blue instant release pills. I gave Woody like a five or a 10 one time. It's what he's talking about that he didn't notice. I was gonna call him out my supplier. It's a statute of limitations. And we were about to go. You're almost up, aren't they? Yeah. I mean, he stole them from out of my bag. This entire show is fiction.

All this is real. We're making all this up. It was mine. I mean, he stole them from me. He's a fucking thief. He's the first guy. He's a drug addict. He would.

And worse more, he stole two pills from me. He took one and forced the other one down Chiz's mouth while he was asleep. So then all of a sudden, all three of us are on Adderall. I know a guy who does that. And and we start going down this river rafting. And I think part of why you didn't feel it is because we were like doing an adrenaline fuel kind of happy rafting is almost like taking Adderall.

You did Adderall and then went rafting? Instantly. Like took it and then got in the boat. Why is that? I had never tried it before so I had a curiosity about it. You're curious but Kyle knew the effects of the time like why would you want to be tweaking doing rowing? To me it's like endless energy and happiness and euphoria like I don't tweak like I'm happy I'm like I'm talking a mile a minute about like happy things.

Do you get that feeling when you've done cocaine? I never really, it's possible I didn't do enough cocaine or enough good cocaine because I've done cocaine like three times and I always just got like a numb nose and throat and that's like it. I didn't really feel anything. You get that post nasal drip. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. You spit that out or is that like something? No, it's like you can't spit it all up in your nose and then it's like stuck in there and so then for the next like half an hour, that's what I remember. 12 hours. That's what I remember hating about cocaine is like you like number one, I'm already high strong enough. I like downers. And so like

it was, it was getting me to a level I wasn't happy with. And then it was like, even after it faded away, you had 20, 30 more minutes where every time you swallow, just like passive swallowing your own spit or like drinking a soda or something, just chemical, chemical taste all down the back of your throat, terribly. We were in a nightclub in New York and my buddy like gets the cocktail waitress

to lean down so we can whisper in her ear, which didn't make any sense because we have bottle service. I'm like, what more are we going to drink? And she like nods and walks away and she came back with like wax, cocaine and wax paper, like fold it up. And I'm like, how did you know she had cocaine oh they all got cocaine they all have cocaine here what a gangster he's like not a word of this the only the only good thing about cocaine is that you feel pretty cool while you're doing it frankly I'm gonna be honest like you feel cooler snorting coke than you do like hitting a joint you're doing it, frankly. I'm gonna be honest. You feel cooler snorting coke

than you do like hitting a joint. You're like, yeah, I'm fucking Wall Street money never sleeps, except I'm in my friend's dog to your apartment on a college campus. All right, so I've done it in equally different settings, I guess, like I did in that cool ass nightclub where it's like, I took a bump off like his, he's like, he's like, he's like looking around,

he's like, all right, here, here, here, here, here looking around his like I'm like this is fucking cool this is fucking cool we got this table where all these people are wanting to sit with us because we got all this booze and we're doing cocaine here that you somehow just ordered like it was a drink and then I've also been in like a dingy little little house with some dudes with a mirror covered with cocaine and And it was like, okay, I mean, yes, I mean, whatever. Everybody else is doing it. Everyone else is doing it. They're going to think I'm gay if I don't do cocaine with them.

I mean, it just seemed like you don't want to, you don't want to be the only one who's not doing a little cocaine. You know what I mean? You don't be the guy who's not having a good time. And I would almost feel peer pressured because I had a couple of friends who were Coke was their drug of choice. And so they would do it and they'd act like they're on cloud nine. And I'd be like, am I doing this wrong? Like, why are these guys getting infinite enjoyment out of this? And I just feel like a little tinny and high strung for a bit and then I get a bad taste and I'm like I just want to have some beers and smoke weed. Yeah I think it's just I think people experience drugs differently. I think I'm a little bit different princess. Like I've really

never had a good time on mushrooms they felt like disorienting in like a disabling kind of way whereas LSD felt like it was opening, it was like pulling the veil back and showing me the cool shit behind it. Whereas mushrooms were like rubbing mud in my face that made me sick to my stomach. Honestly, everything man. I think we have the same profile. How do you feel about ketamine?

Cause I also feel the same way about mushrooms and I fucking hate ketamine. And it's like taken over the entire city. So we did the prescribed ketamine where yeah, and he's done some pretty heavy doses of it along with like Meditation and like like getting the perfect setting with candles and dark rooms and stuff. Yeah, and it done like guided like meditation I think maybe even through it or of some kind to improve like various things in his life I've never done it, but if I did it, frankly, I'd wanna just treat it the same way I treat marijuana

or something like that, do a bunch and watch Fantasia. But we had a mean experience, Dick, why did you hate it? Well, because you can't control anything and your thoughts either race too fast or go too slow and you forget, you lose track of time in a really annoying way it's just like very frustrating like exactly like you're describing mushrooms but people love it so it's every yeah I liked it a lot it was good for me I don't know the way I did it was expensive right I forget

what it cost but it was I don't know 200 legal each time but it was legal it was prescribed and I didn't know what I was, but it was, I don't know, $200 each time. But it was legal, it was prescribed, and I didn't know what I was doing or what an appropriate dose was. So someone, a pro guiding me through that was cool. And they weren't shy either. Like, don't get hung up in these numbers because I forget what it is, but it might've started with like 400 milligrams.

And I was like, you know, I felt it, but I almost could like pretend that I was sober if I had to, you know, I felt it, but I almost could like pretend that I was sober if I had to, you know, I was leaning into it, like, like maybe a teenager getting drunk. Yeah. I'm, you know, they're, they're acting wildly drunk, but parents come around and now they're not acting drunk anymore because it's choice. I was like, I don't want it to be a choice.

She's like, yeah. So it's gonna be like 400 to a thousand or something. Like they just, they, they didn't fuck around. And it worked, you know, I was like trying to prioritize what was important, you know, I was a little sad at the time and it was a good experience for me. So some of it was just afterwards I journal and like sort of write down my, you know,

wonderful thoughts like, you know what? This is what Jackie's bucket. This is what Colin needs. This is what Hope what, this is what Jacky's bucket. This is what Colin needs. This is what Hope needs. This is what I need. And I don't know, it was a real win. I even look back at those journals every so often and just like, figure out what I prioritize.

All my ideas, I've said this on the show before, were not met with my normal sort of self-scrutiny, like, oh, I should do this, but these are the reasons I shouldn't. Every idea was a banger in my mind at that time. And, you know, without me like shooting down my own ideas, like, I don't know, in this world, there are a thousand people who will tell you that you aren't qualified, aren't good enough, aren't this, and you can't be one of them. But maybe all of us are one of those people who are like,

ah, should I even apply to this job? This job's not for me. I should get smarter or more educated or something. No, just fucking apply. Let them tell you that you can't have the job, not you. If you're their fucking own goalie, you'll never score. And with Ketamine, you are not your own goalie. All your ideas are bangers.

Everything you come up with is smart. And write it down so you don't lose it and then go over it later. It was good for me. Maybe not for you. Every dick pick is a winner. I would like to try it to see how it feels. Dick, have you taken DMT?

Oh yeah. The strip molecule? You have. That's the Joe Rogan thing. Tell me. So I was, it was a long... Oh wait, no, no, no. Maybe I'm thinking of DXM. I tried to do DMT recently

and I was pounding through it, trying to get those goddamn elves or something to happen. Yeah? And all I could get... I was hitting it out of a... a crack pipe. Yeah. To, you know to get as much as possible. And all I could get to happen were these weird sort of time skips,

where it felt like I was stuck in a video game and it was going like, Raa, raa, raa, like little nightmares too, like, raa, raa, raa. But then it would go right away and I kept trying to do it. I was smoking it like a chimney I saw I saw nothing I didn't see any fucking elves I was angry at Joe Rogan and angry at everybody who burned me somebody told me that you can't drink at all when you're doing it and I was drinking heavily all day doing it yeah so the way that everybody does it you can also get vape pens that are loaded up with it,

kind of like, you know, just like, from these disposables, like I'm hitting here or whatever. But it's, you know, the black market, you can, like I said, you can get mushroom candy bars that look like Wonka bars that are all wrapped up and the dosages on the back and everything. Those are awesome. But dude, I ate it, I ate three quarters of one of those, whatever that dosage is.

And it sent to me that it sent me to the darkest place I've ever been. I was sitting alone on my couch in the living room at three in the morning. Yeah, I almost went and woke my girlfriend up to like snuggle. I turned you gay. I needed love. I was an island in the middle of the sea. You ever see water world where there's that poor old man down in the bottom of the oil tank and he keeps the measurement. I felt like him. It was like my world was, I felt like I was dying on the inside, not physically, but mentally. And I will, I'll never do mushrooms again. That was the, I did, that was like two years ago, maybe I'll never do them again.

I ate some and I happened to have tickets to Tootsie. I got us tickets to go see Tootsie the musical. Oh that's gay. Yeah it was very gay and bad. I like to watch trans based musicals. Well so I stupidly thought, I was like oh man Tootsie that movie was hilarious. He unplugged himself. Yeah he unplugged himself. He's a little too automated. There there there. I said oh this movie is, right? Dustin Hoffman's in drag. It's really funny. So I got tickets for that and did a bunch of mushrooms and I was like, oh shit, I forgot about the play.

Whatever. That will make it better, right? So we get there and I'm watching it and the guy's doing the, the guy, the main guy's like this, like fat guy who's doing the girl voice, but it's not like his, Dustin Hoffman's was like kind of, kind of believable as we had this. He had like a charm to him when he was playing drag, but this guy had more of like a serial killer, like Norman Bates' mom thing. He was like, oh, oh, talking like this. And I'm like, all right, I'm freaking out and then

And then his love interest comes in and it's maybe it's the fattest black woman I've ever seen may it's definitely the fattest black woman I've ever seen on stage But maybe the flattest black woman I've ever seen she comes out and she's the love interest of tootsie, right? So, you know, you know, like who was it in the movie? It was like Meryl Streep or somebody from the movie. Yeah, someone deserving of love, not a fat person. Yeah, this is like the hippo from Madagascar coming in, and he's like, oh, hey, what's happening? So the whole time I'm tripping out, I'm like,

this is, wait, who the fuck is this? Oh, they're in a, this is a romantic comedy between these two? Like, this weird fuck and this big fat black woman that like and then I was like honestly this guy needs to be like way skinnier to be into her so then as if this isn't bad enough in the middle they start they start bringing attention to that it's also like trans like this is now this is now a transphobic move plot and I'm sitting there going like oh No, this is like my worst nightmare now. They're bringing trans shit into a movie. That's making fun of that's pretty much making fun of trans shit

So I'm like pawing at my girlfriend like How much long can you check the the songs please and see how much longer this is because I can't I can't I can't sit through I gotta go like I'm freaking out I'm dumping sweat I'm like my eyes are looking around I'm looking at all these like gay guys like these like older gay guys sitting there like staring like pod people like up like in I don't know marveling at this relationship they've created with this weird fat white guy in this behemoth this tractor of a woman They're like pretending to be in love like they're giving these love They're giving these speeches to each other about their undying devotion I'm saying they're like trying not to laugh in church like are you fucking serious? Like what are you talking about?

You love this fucking lady What? Isn't it a case about a guy who's professionally unsuccessful and decides to cosplay as a girl because they have it on easy mode. Does that sound right? Yeah, yeah. It's like the Dylan Mulvaney story. He's a cross dresser for profit. Yeah.

The musicals are so gay. So as we know, you can try out that way. I like them though. Then all of a sudden you're sissy hip note and you're a girl. Yeah. What happened before? So it was a bad time.

girl. Yeah. Happened. So it's bad time. And so when when you were doing DMT and you were wasted, like if you hadn't have been drunk, would it have worked? Like, I don't know.

I don't want to think about it because I got I got kicked out of one smoke shop because I didn't know you can't ask for a meth pipe. And the other one they gave me a the other one they gave. Cause I didn't know you can't ask for a meth pipe. And the other one, they gave me a, the other one they gave me all these dirty looks. I learned that in college. I went to my college campus head shop

where they sell bongs and all that shit. And this was like 2009. And so like every single pillar in the building had a piece of paper tape to it that said, if you ask for a bong, we have to kick you out. You must ask for a water pipe. Yeah, I know, but I thought that that was just a myth. You know, I knew that, but I was like,

I think I can just do it at this point. What was the meth pipe for, DMT? Yeah, for DMT. It's called an oil pipe, right? It's that glass one with the ball on the end? I think it's called an oil pipe. It's the same one people smoke. Is that full of a meth pipe?

I think I asked for a free base pipe, and he's like, bro, get out of here. You can't ask for that. I'm like, bro, any kind of salt could be free base, you fucking dick. But. Any kind of salt, you said? Yeah, any kind of alkaline compound Maybe if you told him DMT,

he probably been less irked. I remember I was trying to get syringes. I know I was trying to get. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so sketch to see. That is the sketchiest thing on earth. Like, do you ever go into when you go into a drug store and you see like all the little innocent weed pipes with like and then like on the other side of that glass container that display case are just the scary drugs and like I'm in there buying drugs when you say drugstore you're not talking about cbs dispensary like a headshot I'm. I don't remember any of these things. Unlike you, actually no, Dick has it too. Unlike you two, we live in the land of the free. We can just go by. Actually, is North Carolina, you can't buy weed there, right? You can't, no.

What we have here is essentially legal weed, honestly. Georgia they, Georgia just made THC a illegal, uh, but all the other kinds are fine. THCP is fucking stronger. Um, the THC is strong as shit. So THC is stronger. Um, the, the, the place that I buy it from will only sell it in half gram, uh, vapes though, like a half gram at a time and it's expensive, but it's so goddamn strong. So it's essentially legal weed. I mean, it really is. I go to a weed store and buy weed. Tanner Iskra You guys will get there. I'm still blown away every time. Like,

it's been two years almost, and I'll still go to a dispensary here in Missouri and be like, how on earth did we slip this past the goalie in Missouri? Abortion passed here in this most recent amendment, like 50.0002 to 49.9998. It was like 800 people. When you say abortion passed, so you're a pro-life state? No, no. Pro-choice state. Yeah, we were like no abortion pretty much at all outside of like emergencies, obviously,

like if the person's in a health problem, you'd take care of it. But now it's like up to I think 12 weeks maybe, like you can get an abortion in Missouri. And I think we also just passed the gambling thing. You can gamble here now on the apps, which I don't know, like with, in regard to stuff like this, I try to be like lean more libertarian, but then I see like the way Stake and a lot of these companies, Stake is the company that like has those bright games that dirty plays and gets sucked into. And like it's undeniable that they engage in overt marketing towards kids. Like they do. They like.

Credit card owning individuals. What? Credit card owning individuals. That's all we care about. Okay. Look, kids play games too, Taylor. I don't know if you're aware, but kids love games. What's the problem? Yeah, they do. But they can really, you shouldn't play those. That's how they got me into women as a kid. I feel for you Taylor. Like you're like, I lean libertarian,

but this might be one of my exceptions and I'm trying to wrestle with that. Like I got you to do that. Yeah, I'm like, because I see people like who get way too into online gambling. And it's like, there's something about it being on your phone the same way it is like when you spend a lot of money on a credit card

that it doesn't seem real the way it would seem real if you went to a casino and you took cash and you said, give me chips for this amount of cash. There's like a realistic understanding of transfer value there from cash to chips. Whereas like if you're on an app and it's like, buy a hundred more gems to find the secret to the forest. And they're like, okay. It's like, this is just gambling. You can do it in secret too. You could hide it from your wife. You couldn't sneak away to the

casino, but you can go to the bathroom and like throw away your nest egg. Can you imagine taking like a rough shit and you leave like three thousand dollars down? That's the roughest shit ever. Oh that'd be horrible. I mean our boy in the discord like that sounds about right right right? Like I mean he's Crypto to or just sports No, I don't gamble on anything. I just doesn't appeal to me. I don't gamble for real I did well with the exception of politics at which I lose money. I only gamble five good Actually, what am I talking about? I just won a $10 gamble on the size of rims

Tyson is like is like the grassy Tyson is saying that they'll fit through there, you know, I really Gets everything wrong Him being on your side $10. Can you believe it? He's that fucking. Yeah, he's that retard who every every year for like the past decade on like December 23rd, he's like, actually, there's nothing significant about Christmas. It's a holdover from the winter solstice. And it's like, shut the fuck up. Hmm. Put a hat, put a tree up, buy presents for your family.

Go to church. just play the game. He's like the opposite of Santa. I don't like him. I don't like him a lot. I don't like him. He deleted Pluto. Did he block you on Twitter again? No, probably not.

Dean Cain blocked me on Twitter. Superman. Can you believe that? He was the worst Superman. The Chinese Superman. Why you believe that? He was the worst Superman. The Chinese Superman. Why'd he why'd he block you? I because he plugged Eric July's comic and I said, why are you involved in this trash? Did you run out of money or something like that? Dick is like, Dick is the is so I love following you on Twitter because you are so antagonistic.

I love following you on Twitter because you are so antagonistic. And just like about defending myself. Yeah. Yes. It's all, it's all counter. Sometimes you like, you do what I would call a preemptive counter punch. It was a good question though. Are you out of money? I wanted to know. Just be someone like, say some dumb take and you'll just be like, kill yourself. You gotta watch it with those though. You do. You gotta be at an end in Minecraft.

Have we spoken to Dick since it turned out Boogie never had cancer? Oh, that was the worst. That's the worst news ever, man. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you were ecstatic that he was dying and he was gonna be in a big old casket.

I know, that was so funny. It's like, oh, you got a slow cancer too. So there's like no reason for you to change your life. You don't get that like cancer, euphoria, you know? You're just gonna die. Like maybe you died of pancakes, maybe you died of cancer, who knows, right? But then it turned out he was faking it.

Obesity is a carcinogen, right? So just wait. Yeah. Everyone was excited except me. Like, ah, can you run the test again? Come on, guys! I feel like Destiny kind of like talked and with the power of his mind,

removed the cancer from Boogie. Like I think that he did have cancer when I was having a good time. And then Destiny came in and made it not so. Destiny cured him with facts and logic, should Pierce say? Yeah, I think so, kinda. Cause if Destiny hadn't get involved, no one would know about the cancer.

Boogie would die at like 58 or whatever, whenever morbidly obese people die. And we just said like, ah, he died of cancer. Dude, that debate grow at Leo beast Archetype blows me away destiny is so good at it. I watch him go on like Pierce Morgan and stuff and he just wrecks Yeah, I what do you Do you think that more people should have heard that January about January 6th? Do you think that would have helped the election? How do you feel about all that shit in hindsight? Latinos did not give a fuck about January

SINCE! AHAHAHAHAHA I was right! I didn't hear your words Latinos didn't give a fuck about what? Latinos didn't give a fuck about January They were mutilated! AHAHAHA That was not Destiny

That was old Hutch Yeah, it was Hutch he said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't know what he's up to now. Cop lost an eye, cop broke a rib. I think mutilated was on target, but it didn't affect the election it seems. Nope. And also mutilated is the most history. I'm genuinely not one to rub victories in. So dick is.

This last week or so. He's all about it. Last week, it has been hard for me. I I've really been watching a lot of the news, watching a lot of the conservative pundits, you know, doing the victory laps and stuff. I'm looking forward to Inauguration Day, like not just Inauguration Day, whatever the certification day is, the next is it January 6 every time like like I hope so I think it bounces around kind of like Thanksgiving like

where it depends on the day right like Easter yeah whatever whatever day it falls on that day is going to be really tense on the news January 6th was the the riot I think the 21st was the inauguration and now it's the certification of the election whatever day that falls on Oh Yeah, i'm not sure. All right. Yeah, it takes power on the 20th. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah Yeah, but the certification of the election that day in particular i'm looking forward to that day because it's gonna be tense as fuck like like cnn is gonna be like Much smoother than last time here's some clips from.

And they're gonna juxtapose like how well it's going this time versus last time, like in a split image. Like mark my words. You're gonna say- They should do it again. You bet you didn't see this coming, fuckers. That would be the absolute funniest possible out yeah more sunglass wearing boomers storm the capital I it they're still no no that

lectern guy is given tours like he's like go to the capital and protests peacefully like the exact perfect but in quotes that that lectern guy, when I was at that event, Brandon Herrera invited me to last year, like that San Antonio gun, San Antonio gun show. Fuck that little lectern guy was there. And like. He is tiny. Like when you like that little lecture guy helped me out. You know, the guy who was walking out, he's like smiling.

Yeah, yeah. Like I saw him and I could tell it was him by his long hair because he had really long hair and I could tell it was his face. And like that dude's like five, four. Like, and so really that lectern isn't nearly as big as, yeah, that Is a tiny little I didn't talk to him. I just saw him there. He's a tiny little guy

like and like take use your use your male ability to reorient objects and put that Lectern right in front of him and you can tell how small he is, but I didn't notice it until I saw him in person Lectern was no. No, I just I just I didn't notice it until I saw him in person. Can I do that? How big did you think the lectern was? No, no, I just, I didn't pay any attention to it. I was just like, that's probably a normal size guy and a lectern. And then I saw him in person. And then I looked on my phone at the picture again and was like, oh my God.

Oh yeah. That's a little fella with a hanging out between the velvet ropes, stealing a lectern. And he's, look at how stoked he is on it. He's loving it. That's what I'm laughing at. I've been staring at his face cackling this whole time. Cause he looks like, he looks like he just went down splash mountain at Disney world.

That's how like 13 year olds leave David Buster's when they finally win the Xbox. Dude, Photoshop this and take the lectern out, put a fishing rod in and put the biggest bass ever. Like he's so happy. This is the best day of his life. And dude, he must've got in early because there's like no one else there. Pop in, grab the lectern, bounce. Yeah, that was a hot loot. That is hot loot, dude. I would keep that in my... What would you guys do if you stole the speaker of the house light turn? Turn myself in right away No, you can't be gay in the answer like you gotta keep it. I was trying to minimize my prison time. I'm sorry. Oh

Well, none of us are gonna steal the light turn he already has it. I would build a replica really quickly You know you go to Home Depot Yeah You know you go to Home Depot. Yeah East LA I go like a to a bed manufacturing You know let's drive around until I see like a bed make custom beds and door work You gotta copy this real quick Okay, I just imagine like like what if we'd been there You know like like I was I was in trouble at the time so obviously I couldn't go like what if we'd been there, you know, like I was I was in trouble at

the time so obviously I couldn't go but like if I had been in trouble like that might have been something we would have attended or I would have attended that's like God would I have been swept up in that crowd of patriots I mean hooligans and like there's people and you know like sucked in like like what I've just been like well I'm gonna stay toward the back I just want to see what's happening where I've had that thought process and ended up like doing ten years in federal prison I never would have gone 75 days I looked it up I was curious that's it oh I did Jay Johnson got a year did you see that the Bob's burger guy six months I thought oh yeah the prosecutor's asked for 90. He got 75 and I looked to see how long he really served,

but I didn't find that. So I assume it was 75. Yeah, but yeah, that's gonna be awkward when the news coverage for that day in particular. And guess who has to certify the election? It's Kamala Harris, right? Yeah. Kamala Harris.

Biden has already been gracious in the transition in a way that Trump wasn't. So for sure he has pussy. You know what? And look, I don't like this. I know you don't like it when people, I know you don't like it. Trump or like interpreting Trump's gibberish is as Einstein and stuff like that. But what I saw of Trump in the oval office, sort of shaking hands with Biden

and that little fireside blurb they did. He said somethingb they did. He said something like Trump did. He said something like politics is tough business and it's a tough world, but today, you know, we're gonna they things are gonna be smooth and hat. So what I what it meant it felt like what I interpreted was like, man, I've been shitty to you, but I almost kind of feel bad about it. It's nice to be here and you've been you've been nice so far. So it's good to be here and let's try to be buddies. I hope that it goes well.

I hope there is a peaceful transition, the not just peaceful, but for us, but happy for them. It's going to be a factor of me. And when they're meeting, do you remember how scary that was? Remember to get vaccinated or everyone's going to be a winter of death. Do you remember how scary that was? Remember to get vaccinated or everyone's going to die. The meeting was twice as long as the last one with Obama that Trump had. Although I think those two truly despise one another. Whereas maybe he and Biden at this point just have a sore rivalry, maybe at best case. Biden and Obama, you mean?

And Trump. But I think Obama. Yeah, I agree. I think Trump and Obama genuinely have a rivalry that neither of them think very much of each other. And Biden, on the other hand, apparently everybody likes Biden. Like even the Republicans, Lindsey Graham loves Biden. Everyone thinks Biden is a good guy.

Not everyone thinks he was a great president will concede that. But as far as like honor and character, I don't see many people. I could see Biden. What about that diary from his daughter or whatever. You're not sure if that's real. Dude, he was showering with her to teach her how to be clean.

That's a clean girl. You seen it? Yeah. And sometimes it takes until they're like 14 to do. What is this story? Did he shower? Did he shower with her? She wrote a diary where she said that her father showered with her until she was like in her early teens. Is that right? Like, yeah, she hated it and she hated it and she thought it was abusive or something. Yeah. Bitches though. They lie on everything. She was a dirty girl. Yeah.

Well, that's pretty ghastly if it's true, but I was, I could totally see Biden having an enormous amount of resentment towards Obama because think of how many times Obama like fucked him. Like it would have been so easy in 16, like I guarantee Biden in 2016 or 2015 was like, are you fucking kidding me bro? Like you're not going to run me your VP. You're going to run Hillary Clinton, this unlikable cunt memory hole. And then he didn't want in because his son was dead. He was, he, he, he absolutely would have wanted to, to be president. Are you kidding? He wanted to be, he, he stated he wanted to be president and that he was going to, you know, for the

rest of the party, except back then he wasn't talking like that. And so like he got screwed over by Obama then. Where did you hear that he wanted to run, but lied and said it was actually because his son died? I never heard the son dying thing. What? Oh, you didn't? No, that he like dropped out

because of the son dying thing. Like it was- He didn't even run. He was positioning himself to be president at the end of Obama's term like he clearly has ambitions of being president he wanted to run again this past but then his son died why don't buy that that doesn't make any sense he was heartbroken come on you think that did that to a politician that's horrible he's not a literal lizard man. I mean, I assume he loves his children. That is generous. And that was the good son. That was the good one. You think that he didn't

even know. He was left with Hunter. You think he didn't run because he was so sad. Didn't he lose one in that car accident that his wife died in? At least one. Yeah, he kept running for office after that. Well, he's he's got no quit in him, you know He's good, dude. I saw him bite that child's foot at the Thanksgiving celebration or whatever Look, he is I think that shit's cute. That's wild I thought that shit's cute. The kid was dressed up as a turkey and he like bit the kid's foot like ah, I liked it It's like that was real quick, but that's that's senile old man behavior. Nah, it's quirky old grandpa shit. I'm okay with it now.

He's not a political threat anymore, Taylor. We'll be honest. I think he's fine. He's done now. It's not coming back in 20 years. You've been thinking this whole time, thinking he was senile? Yeah, I just made it.

Yeah, it was funny. Oh, no. I always think. All I know is- Do you believe he's still the president? Like, that's so funny. Why know is he still the president like it's. That's so funny. Like why wouldn't he be Taylor? I mean, what have we seen as he's not

would lead us to believe he couldn't lead the United States of America? So true. Yeah, he's definitely he's definitely like been making decisions for years, 100 percent. I will find out there'll be some book in 10 years. We'll find out like with Reagan. We're finding out now Reagan's whole second term was was he he had Dementia. Yeah, also he was fucking Nancy Reagan beat the USSR

That's wild if true, I got yeah, I thought it was like the last two years of Reagan's I think was his whole second term that guy I thought it started as soon as his term ended. I saw I've suddenly been stricken Wrap it on said Alzheimer's it's like up three years into it Oh, you know who's most disappointed with the with the loss is Jimmy Carter like Man, isn't is is Jimmy Carter. Like, I don't know if Jimmy Carter isn't, is, is only alive technically. I hope they pump him full of enough drugs when they kill the department of education so that he, they can tell them, like, Hey,

Trump is in the department of education that you started. Uh, he's been entirely nonverbal and incapable of even like blinking level communication for over a year. Like he can't, he can't talk. He can vote if like someone holds his hand out and then marks the Democrat side on everything. Can he read? No.

Did you see him? Did you see him laying there just staring into the abyss of eternity? No, no, show us the bad picture. This is the best he's looked in. Well, he used to look better in this. Yeah, show us the one where he's in the lawn and there's people like taking pictures with him as he's like screaming at the sky in fear. Wow. There was an eclipse, I think think or something like that or maybe

it was his birthday they did a flyover that's what it was. Yeah the one on the left. That's so oh that's for his 100th birthday they did like a air force flyover and it was honestly I have strong feelings about parading someone who's not all there out for the cameras. It's like dude I get that it's the president's birthday. I get that they're bringing the Blue Angels or whatever. Is he going to get anything out of this or is this just for the cameras and for the grandkids to be like great, great, great, great, great grandpas over there watching the watching his planes fly over?

I don't think you get any idea those planes are flying over. You could have turned Top Gun on and fucking turned it up loud and been like can you hear him Gramps that's the Blue Angels is top grows here too yeah Tom loves you like you can tell him whatever you want he's completely out of it yeah there's no way he even remembers where he's at who who he is, who's he's around. That happens, right? Like, dude, if I get that old, I definitely, if I were Jimmy Carter, I would, and I had the cognizance of it at that age, like in a flash, I'd be like, what the fuck are you guys doing? You realize I was a president, right? Like you could have let my legacy be like old man,

like pretending to nail something into a house. Instead, I look like a draugr from Skyrim, some emaciated bone person being wheeled out so people can go, voting is important. Even if the person doing the voting has no vested stake in the future. Now you got to trap me out forever. Keep me alive as a court, put an AI attached to a speaker of everything I've, all my podcasts that will speak for me

and have people slap other people with my lifeless limbs as long as there's a pulse still in there. I wanna be out and active. You wanna be limb? You wanna be like a teacher on the heads? Yes, exactly. Floating around? That sounds horrible.

I was watching the thing about basically where he's in. I was watching the thing about that the other day, the idea of uploading your consciousness or whatever, whatever consciousness is to a computer and having it live forever. Um, I was going to ask Taylor, but I'll ask y'all like, what do you, do you think that we're more than the sum of our parts and by that, what do you think that whatever our consciousness is like that, that the little us that lives in our fucking brain or whatever,

is it just like physical in there? Could that be downloaded and transferred? Or is there like some weightless, immeasurable, I don't want to say soul, but some like thing that is us in there that's more than just meat and electricity? I'll go after you. Well, there's a lot of stuff in there Yeah, but but the thing that's us is it anything more than meat and electricity and oh Well, you got if you have you got

Electrical charges and particles in there that are going every which way every every little one's gonna have an effect on the other I don't think there's anything magical or metaphysical about it, but like Copying it downloading it. I don't think that is Ever gonna be possible just because of the amount of matter and energy and in your brain And it's hard to capture like one particular state in time, right? Yeah, while you're trying to download it, it would be changing. I'm with your computer. You close it open it that works, but there's not really much going on in there. I think we're just a collection of chemical reactions, whatever squishiness is inside us and there isn't anything spiritual or you know unmeasurable in there, But that leads me to the further question.

If I'm right, does that mean we have no free will? If we are just a collection of chemical reactions and electrical fairies or whatever, then you're not truly choosing your own outcome. These are just reactions that occur like any other one, like fire or rush. That's why I drink so much. Also, if that's true, also if that's true, then there's nothing too special about us

other than there were a little bit smarter than the rest of the animals here. And presumably they're just as conscious as us. There's kind of morons about it. So then, like I was talking to Harley about this on his food podcast yesterday. Yeah, I was like, this Beluga Whales man, like they're like little people under the sea. Like they play games with people and like when they look at you through the tank, it's like, hey, little guy, do you have hips? What the fuck?

And he's like, yeah, I used to live on land like you. That thing is so smart. I said this yesterday, like orcas have never killed a person. I don't think in all of history, they've never been. They'll sink your boat and then like, fuck human and sail away like swim away like it's almost like they know that if they were to hurt us we'd come back and fuck them up with a boat what about that sea world one that's true all right that's but not in the wild that oh they tortured that thing and drove it mentally ill by keeping it in that fucking tank. But how would they know if the orca, if an orca capsizes some boat and all the people

drown, like they probably ate those people. That's never happened before. But how would the report get back if they ate all the people they drowned? You hear about sharks eating people all the time. True. But I would also presume that there's no survivors every time orcas eat people, they eat every single one of them.

So I Googled it. A fishing hunters. It didn't sound right to me. I'm trying to say it respectfully, but Kyle's right. There's no documented cases of orcas intentionally killing humans in the wild. And it lists a few rare incidents where in captivity they've done it but not a while.

Wow. They're smart enough to know they shouldn't. I think they see us as peers and they wouldn't want to hurt us or they genuinely know that if they would mark them as you know how it is when like one of these middle east groups steps out of line a little bit too much all of a sudden they're on that watch. Yeah you give them a slap. The Dolphins are part of Israel, so we're gonna support their war against the Orca in every way we can. Which side do you think they're taking in all this? The Orcas and the Dolphins? You think they're free Palestine, or do you think they're Zionists? They take both sides. They're nationalistic about that. A very famous Russian a very famous Russian beluga whale just died recently, I think. They had their Navy.

They had some sort of like Navy Special Forces Beluga whale they trained. But I think it was too sweet and just wanted to go play with people. And it became like a friend of like some local area and they found it dead. I don't know why it died. I think Vladimir Putin may have pushed it out of a window. He doesn't think he would do that to his own mascot on his side. I don't know why I died. I think Vladimir Putin may have pushed it out of a window. He doesn't. I don't think he would do that to his own. A mascot on his side.

He does it all the time, all the time. Damn, even the good whales. There are no good whales. Fucking monster. Yeah. No, I think the whales should get personhood. I think if you kill a whale, you should you should get in trouble. Yeah, the Japanese don't care for that. They would they would push back on that.

We put that in line once before we do it again. We should have taught a little respect for marine life while we were teaching them baseball and fucking they, they were into the baseball before World War II, but the rest of that shit, we, we learned them up good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Shawnee, he nailed it this year. MVP. Isn't he on the Dodgers? Yeah, he's our best guy Yeah, he's that minute The best player in baseball right now is Japanese. I think so. Yeah, I don't know that's baseball That's a conversation, but the best player basketball has been non-american for I'm gonna say five years in a row now These like European guys named like who look like fucking ogres are somehow

doing great in the NBA. It's like you're talking about Nikolaj Jokic. Yeah. Jokic the other guy who plays for Dallas, I want to say he looks like a normal guy, just like he looks like he belongs at the YMCA and he's one of the best players and apparently there's Joel and and bb another non-american The one recently he's from cameroon And another guy from greece

So ufc is too. It's hard to find a good american fighter champion to get behind. That's why i'm a big shawn strickland fan Uh, you know, it's all american fights red white and blue baby Uh the way, you know who else can't believe it? The rest of the division. All right. He's supposed to be getting that title fight next, but we'll see. You just like him because you see his fighting style is boring, right Woody?

Yeah. So he does something called the Philly shell where he stands sideways and protects his chin. And then he does a teep kick. Imagine you were trying to kick a door down like at the doorknob. He does that to keep people away from him. And it's just very defensive. He walks backwards, he kicks people to stay away. He has a really effective jab and he shells up a lot. And it's just, I mean, he never

knocks anyone out. I want to, I bet in his last 10 fights, he's maybe finished one time. So it's just not excited. He's kind of a counterpuncher like you are on Twitter, Dick. Yeah. Sounds like a cool guy. Sometimes your counterpunches are so aggressive. You know what? They're so quick that they almost come out before the initial punch.

There will be times I'll say, I gotta get my counterpunch in before I get blocked. That's the problem. Yeah. Sometimes I'll look at Dick with fire a tweet out and I'll see it and I'll be like, Jesus. My sister on election night. So first of all, election week, I was bookmarking everybody so I could go back and rub it in their face after Trump in case Trump won.

My sister said, she's like, I was reading Cernovich about, you know, the election results and he was having great coverage. And I went over to your Twitter and you were talking about how you were gonna put someone in a camp where they should kill themselves or something. I said, that's enough of his Twitter. I'm gonna go back to Cernovich. But I'm glad you had a fun night.

I did have a fun night. Thank you. Dude, it felt like 2016 to me. It was like, you go in there, I started getting confident that I was gonna win about a week before. The whole election, it was so tied ridiculously close, et cetera.

And then the polls were swinging in her direction. And I have this idea that they're like 10 to 14 days delayed. So I'm like, oh, they're swinging her direction now. Then the truth is that she's actually farther ahead than it seems and this is gonna go so great and I thought I made a special effort to listen to like both sides of the media ecosystem but in hindsight I must have fucked that up because in my mind she was winning

and she wasn't and uh anyway it felt like 2016 where like oh shit North Carolina doesn't look as good as we thought. Remember Pennsylvania, how she was gonna be way ahead because they counted the mail in advance and she wasn't. And then now I'm like, well, it's still possible if. Or it just exactly what 2016 felt like. Iowa didn't show up. That's when I was like, okay, so disregard everything

that had me feeling down. Because, they had to feel low. Woody. Yeah. Go ahead. And seltzer thing. I never heard of her, but they made that out to be the poll to end all polls. Why are they crazy? She's, did that invade your own media? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But we were like, that's retarded. Yeah. I'm on this page is Dick, where I was like, I went in. I've said before, I went into this election so much more cool than 2016. Like I was more sure he would win than he would lose. But like now I see on Twitter, because there's a ton of liberals and leftists on Twitter. There's a lot of you can find whatever ideology you want there.

And there's a lot of people now who are on the left that are like this fucking bitch and sells her with your lies, with your lies. That's why you do that. I hope you lie to it. And then people are mad about her. Yeah. And that's understandable because like why else? Okay. So she's accurate on these polls and then she misses by I think it was 17 or 18 points, which is worse than I could do. Just kind of going like this towards any state. So I normally don't like trolling. I think it's mean it doesn't fit my soft-hearted aspirational character. But Taylor did the best trolling in 2016 that I ever saw in my life. This is what happened. Chiz was very invested

in the election. He's not so into politics right now, but in 2016 he was. Chiz absolutely was with her, right? I can't emphasize that enough. And Taylor was like casually for Trump, if I understand the vibe, right? And Chiz was trying to explain how she's already lost. And Taylor's like, I don't get it. And he made Chiz explain, like get it, get it, get it all night long. You can't have a chat with Chiz on WhatsApp. He writes like five paragraphs. They had declared the race.

They had given it to Donald. And Chiz was like, no, no, no. They're gonna recount it. I think she's got this. I was like, no, no, no. I don't get it. They're going to recount it. I think she's got this. Dude, I was sitting on my couch off 110 milligrams of edibles, laughing, sending him messages where he's like, Taylor, once again, here are the graphs.

And I'm like, I don't think you get it, man. It's not over. And he went to another screen. That was so funny. Shout out, Chiz. That really gave me a lot of laughs that night. He had him hook, line, and sinker so bad. And even I'm like, what is happening here?

How does Chiz not see this? And I don't know. Best troll ever. That was funny. And no one got hurt. True, yeah. Just good times with the boys. Shit posting in the group chat.

Yeah, he wasn't happy about that. He was annoyed. Little bit, little bit, little bit. Oh, like when he found out you were trolling or in real time? In real time and when he found out I was like, I knew obviously that because I was sitting there with my girlfriend at the time being like, holy fucking shit. He won. He won. And me and my girlfriend were both like happy about it because we both voted Trump and then I'd be like, hold on. Chiz, I don't think you've taken into account like the late voting in Pennsylvania, like did you, and just sending something like that up.

And he's like Taylor, once again, counting Chiz was super. I totally forgot. I did that. It was like two hours, three hours of it. Yes. Oh my God. And again, I can't emphasize enough how Chit Taylor will be like, what about late voting? Chis will hit him back with like six paragraphs and he'll be like, uh-uh. Because he's like investing all this time in responding.

I'm literally not even reading it and then just you got him. You got him. So, so good. literally not even reading it and then just you got him you got him so so good sometimes trolling is a lot of fun it's a good time that's that's the that's a camp diggity it's all about trolling all about getting someone's goat this was a better victory because this one has all of the naysaying before it to add up to the naysaying this time and it also has that interim loss because when he lost, there was this fucking he'll never step foot in the White House again. You know, for the first time, he'll never step foot in the White House.

Yeah. Now they got to say it again. He'll never again. Well, he step into that building that hallowed ground, that House of Lincoln and Washington and Jefferson. And they got a fucking liberal tier, fucking rolling on their fucking cheek. And then he's just like, hello. Yeah, well, yeah, well.

And to me, look, the last week or two, I was, what happened to Woody happened to me? I was like, shit, this looks bad for Trump people. Like the last two or three weeks, I was not a believer. But two years ago, it was like, who's going to stand in his way? Because Biden just seemed weak. He seemed so old even then. And then I there's just nobody to step in.

And then I never seen anybody on the right who can do what Trump can do and rally his No to their side. He's he's the guy Yeah, the magic doesn't work on me. I don't see it, but I can't deny it I mean clearly the guy's got some level of magic he he won and so there's this GSP is a UFC fighter and he was got a fighting a name Josh Kaczak and I think GSP had beaten him once before and Josh worked his way back up the food chain and was going for his rematch.

And GSP genuinely didn't like him, Josh Kochek's a dick. And he's, I wish I could do his British or his French Canadian accent. But he's like, look, when I fight, I fight to be the best. I wanna be the best who's ever done it. And I know you do too. But when you lose to me the second time, it's over. You will never recover from this ever.

You are 34 years old. You're not getting another shot at this. You will never go down in history as a great fighter. You will never go down as a remarkable fighter. This is it. I will end your legacy. I'm taking it and I'm adding it to mine. Your tombstone will be mine. I'm paraphrasing, but this is it. And then he did it. And somehow pre-election, I'm like, this is what's happening to Trump. Trump, Trump, like he is going to lose there the second time and he will never come back again.

There is no 82 year old version of Trump that gives this another go. This is the end of the line and the Republicans will scratch their head and say, well, I guess the whole MAGA agenda is not a winning thing. He was going to jail, Woody. It had lost. Yeah, he was going to jail. Three election cycles in a row.

And I was like, the fourth one's not gonna be better. And I was wrong. So. so now you're going to jail I've become aware of a certain fact yesterday. We've got a plan we've got a plan we're sending the illegals back we're gonna get an asterisk on the prison. We've got a plan. We've got a plan. We're sending the illegals back. We're going to get a mattress on the floor again. I've been trying to give my haters their flowers like, dude, love it up. You did it. You won. I lost. Like, dude, literally that night when we won, I felt like I had a telekinetic conversation with Kyle where I was like, let's try and be graceful in this. If we want to send a couple of funny memes,

nothing aggressive, nothing like fuck the libs or anything, because because he is also my friend and I know he's not going to like this and I don't want to, you know, exacerbate how upset he is over it. And so I tried we tried to keep it to a minimum. Thank you for that. Yeah, because I lost and I cared and yeah, that's kind of still where I would. He will get involved with like, what he will get involved with the sport you love.

And then when you lose he'll send like a gift of your mascot being raped by the enemy. I do that. It'll be like, it'll be like the Georgia bulldog being actually raped by a crimson wave. Drowning in red water or something. It'll be like the Georgia Bulldog being actually raped by a crimson wave somehow. This particular example. He's drowning in red water or something. I'm guilty of that sort of thing.

Put the puppy down! And then a gunshot and a give. No, I had known this about it. I think you should keep doing it. My hometown, literally the place I was born, where birth was given to me, Athens, Georgia, and they just lost the national title. And I'm getting like, get put down, puppy. He doesn't even have a team. Meanwhile NC States ranked 100 in second he doesn't care but when this happened I was there was absolutely that going on I sent one meme and I swear to God

I downloaded that meme two weeks ago, Taylor. It was like a music video of like top gun music like Highway to the Danger Zone with like a montage of a digitally thinned Donald Trump like doing cool things and rockets going off and he's riding in his monster trash truck and like fighting liberals and it was just victory. I think I only sent two Pepe's you you sent at one point you were like dude he won Hispanics and I sent like the sombrero Pepe and then afterward you're like he also won the Arabs and I sent some like he did like I in it and he won Hispanic men and then he said he won Arabs in Deerfield or whatever the fuck. Dearborn, Michigan and I sent one back like a Pepe with a turban and like a bomb vest on.

I never fussed for one millisecond because four years ago, I said to meme and it was in Star Wars. And there's this scene at the end of Star Wars where Poe who's like an X-wing pilot is like, sorry guys, I tried, but there's just too many of them. And then in Star Wars, like the cavalry comes, they're like, but there's more of us. And it's like, Destroyer shows up

and it says Pennsylvania on it. And another giant ship comes on and it says Georgia on it. And then they're like, all these people, I found it inspiring, I do right now. But that's not what happened this time. No. people that I felt it inspiring. I do right now, but that's not what happened this time. No, I lost this time. I think it's fun as long as you don't get like

to invest to to invest in it. At the end of the day, I've been getting extremely invested in it and getting very personal with everyone. I'll go to my friends' post timelines and antagonize them and tell them they're going to prison and they don't know what they're talking about. And if they're so fucking smart, then why are they going into Gitmo? And if they don't shut their mouth. And it feels me, I felt a euphoric pride

that I'm gonna describe as a Trumpamania for eight days. And it's not going away. And only only wild it's running wild in me The Patriots are now in control with Patriots. I saw you uh, I'm gonna go to the fucking fair I'm not even gonna say it's gay the Trump's which Patriot fair whatever it is. The world's fair. It's gonna be cool I'm gonna do it you a antagonizing. I didn't see it in real time I saw like I went to your page for some just see what you're up to and I saw you antagonizing hutch That person do you see that person that killed himself and there in his wife and stuff cuz Trump one Yeah, that's because of the rhetoric that guys like Hutch have been saying

where it like Trump is Hitler that guy hears Hutch and he's like Trump's Hitler I better fucking kill myself and my kids right so the guys on Hutch and and those guys they got to cool it down they got to they got to really cool it down they're putting people at risk. So what did you say to Hutch? Did you say the really understanding and say Hutch Hutch, you must be upset to her this has happened? You probably said something like that, right? Yeah, I think I said, like, sort of. It was like, fuck you, enjoy prison, you and your... I think I said something about his wife. I don't really know. I was, again, I was in a state of Trumpamania, running on fumes of patriotism. Are you looking it up?

I'm trying to find it. Oh, yeah. I do tweet a lot. I've been winning a lot. Pennsylvania natural gas powered up. Yeah, I'm fracked. I'm fracked. The first time Trump won, it was like,

first time Trump won, it was like, wow, that's kind of unbelievable. OK, so we don't know what to do now, but this time it's like, oh, yeah, that's great. We're going to we're going to ruin everything that you guys like. Just rank all the things that you guys like and we're going to dismantle them one by one. And we're going to have a great time doing it. We're going to have some drinks and some laughs and some. I was surprised Hutch didn't block or maybe he did block you after this. It was a it was literally a story about a guy who has like crazy eyes,

who thought that Trump was Hitler and then he murdered his whole family, his wife and his two sons and himself. And Dick quote tweeted this and said, this happened because of the lies and rhetoric that people like at Hutchinson spread about Trump leading up to the election all liberal influencers should be prosecuted for murder and given life sentences I had I said executed, but then I deleted it You went harder than this and you decided to tamp it down

Yeah, I can't put executed but how do you rationalize that with Trump calling Harris a Marxist communist fascist socialist? Trump won Woody. I know but you said he needs to tone it down But yeah, I can say whatever I want my guy won I get to We own the government like all three things. so whatever we say is the correct is law So yeah, but it still makes you hypocrite What a what a About I don't give a shit that guy killed himself and hutch said trump was hitler and trump won ipso facto

electric chair for hutch me bitcoin to 100 000 hutch prison eating maggot food me big parade homeless kicked into a hole in the middle of the desert Hunch has to go to therapy to learn about his hateful speech that he's doing me moisturize flourishing Mexican hutch white devil dry skin What is that does that not makes is it making sense to you now? What the fuck are you talking about? Mexican moisturized flourishing! Yeah! Hunch! Hunch! Race Trader! Me! Mexican hero- Patriot!

Suchan lotion need whity. Don't you get it? I'm learning slowly. Dude, you get it? I'm learning slowly. You get it? I'm learning. It's our rules now. We don't have to do this making sense and being consistent shit that you liberals have been doing, tripping us up.

All right, I've learned. Dude, I just respect your love of the game. Thanks. Just going in like 8am on a Wednesday, both barrels. Preemptively counter punching. Oh man. Bagot Trump one and it's like, what did he do with this? 7.56 in the morning? Some fucking bitch, some civil rights bitch lawyer got into a big fight with me too because she's like we have to keep these

We have to keep men out of women's spaces And I said we have to keep women out of men's spaces too, and she's like You're just saying that cuz that's I've been fighting for this for 23 years I'm like bitch all I said so then I said hey enjoy men in your bathrooms then bitch or something like that I called her a crit, I hate to crit too by the way. I called her a fucking cunt. I told you. Yeah but the problem is my girlfriend, you know as a teacher

she wakes up at like 6.30 and I sleep like everything wakes me up so I'm awake at 6.30 and I'm like I gotta call someone a cocksucker on Twitter so I can go back to sleep. Oh okay. Somebody's up on the east coast, some general I can call a DEI hire. And the way it's going to work is like genuinely,

within eight, 10 minutes of us ending the show, I will see yet another quarrel. And it's, I think you're my favorite. I think you're my favorite entire follow on Twitter because it's constant combat combat just never a day of is anyone enjoying their weekend no no I'm having a horrible time give me an honest answer on Twitter do you ever get like actually bothered I know you're playing games 99% of the time. Is it 100? I mean, I'm I'm bothered. I'm genuinely annoyed and angry when people are giving me sass and I channel that into

insulting them. Alright. No, I actually thought- I have very thin skin, Woody. I have very thin skin. That's my- Skin woody a very thin skin that's my No, it's very thin I get my feelings hurt right away, and I lash out like a champion. That's what I do Yes like a gladiator Getting thicker all the time. It's never as thick as I wish it was oh That's that ketamine talking maybe You got to become a coke guy.

Can you imagine what he got really into coke? Oh, I don't know. That doesn't sound like a good plan. He'd start off like just doing a little, then he'd get hooked and then he'd end up smuggling with his paramotor. He'd make it himself. He's like, this is this is 98% pure, this is trash. This is my special, these are my beakers,

my Bunsen burner. Here we go, it's green power. You ever see how it's made? It's like, it's pretty crazy. Yeah, they're like, really? Dumping all sorts of chemicals in there to like. Like some Colombian is like stomping on leaves with his diesel fuel for a while.

Like it's kind of a lot of diesel. Yeah, diesel fuel. I guess you need diesel to pull the drug you want away from the rest of the plant matter. The leaves and the pulp and everything. Something like that. I wonder if it's genuinely just like off the shelf diesel or if they find some purer diesel that's better. Maybe probably less pure.

I would guess that's better. Maybe probably less, less pure. Yeah. The documentary I saw of it is like literally they're in a canopy of the jungle. Like they're in like a tent structure that's clearly made to be moved quickly in case you get like in case one of your scouts is like, it's like our diesel has additives to it that make it are good for your truck truck good for the environment But probably not right your cocaine. Yeah. Yeah, especially that off-road shit. It would make you do your cocaine all red Yeah, I think I have it backwards. Yeah, the off-road stuff has the die, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's got the die Yeah, I'm not supposed it's tax-free

So they put the die in there so they can catch a trucker using it on the roads Not paying their tax. They lock him up. I buy the off-road stuff because it's for my tractor. Mm-hmm Well, I've had about all I could take. All right. Yeah All right, check out the links in the description check them out on Twitter. Apparently it's a blast. Oh, yeah 26 Patreon.com