Painkiller Already - PKA 740 W/ Richard Ryan & Chris James: The Bandits Loot Is Exposed

Episode Date: February 22, 2025

PKA 740 with our guest Richard Ryans from seemingly behind a strip club. Taylor. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Bluechew, Harry's, Lock and Load, and all of Derek's products and our merch. Richard, I love your backdrop. Every time it's more elaborate. Last time you had a lot of leftover Halloween decorations behind. Now you have a real live car.

Yeah, actually. So it's funny because Chiz hit me up this afternoon. I'm totally not prepared. I'm in the middle of construction right now but this I haven't shown it yet but this is I'm going to be releasing this car here in a few days. It's a Tesla S Apex that we've been working on for about two years. And I built out, I'll show you in a minute, a kennel inside of it. So it's for the Warrior Dog Foundation

and the Warrior Dog app that I built. Dogs can't live in a Tesla. Well, so it's got a working dog kennel in it and a fully autonomous weapon system. working dog kennel in it, and a fully autonomous weapon system. No. So what sort of threats could this weapon system neutralize? So it's actually an M134 with a remote fire system

that has different types of visual recognition. So not for me, but for the listeners who don't know what an M134 is. A minigun. A minigun chambered in 7.2 uh sick so like an even bigger gun than what walt was fucking up those uh that gang at the end of breaking bad like that sort of thing no actually that's the same caliber right what did he have i think that was an m60 so uh taylor's never seen like half a dozen movies. You ever seen Matrix, Taylor?

Yes. Yes. You know when, Obviously. When, you mean obviously. When Morpheus- I'm gonna push back on that one too. When Morpheus snaps the handcuffs

and Neo's shooting the mini gun out of the helicopter, that's the mini gun that I shot. Like the one that's in that shot. Where did you get a fucking mini gun? It's the one with the spinny barrels table. How do you not know what a minigun is? My mom knows what a minigun is. I was comparing to like the amount of power like it could neutralize a clan of

gang members. Yeah, well, I can spend a lot of money really fast. Yeah, that's cool. But you know, safety has no price. So that's good. So what is what are you anticipating? What's going down? Yeah, so this is just it was a really fun build that I wanted

to do. So canine Veterans Day is coming up March 13. And I just wanted to do something to really get people excited about, you know, the, the website and the app that I built. And I was like, all right, I'm gonna I've done several car builds at this point. I did the Toyota Prius that we mounted the Vulcan to. And then of course the Model X that mounted the two five five six mini guns that came out the side.

And then this, I totaled this car when I mounted the mini gun to it last time and put rivets all in the body. And I was like, all right, well, I got to replace the body. I reached out to the guys at Unplugged Performance and they were like, well, we've been working on this thing called the S-Apex where we widen the body, put a carbon fiber body on it and everything.

I was like, okay, cool. I can either total this car that has 200 miles on it, or we could just replace the body and do another really epic build. And so that's what we did. And it's taken the better part of two years and we've been working with the guys over at ProFence on their remote fire capability system

that will have various different forms of image recognition. So you can put regular cameras, thermal, infrared and stuff like that so you can... Can we circle back to you totaled the car? We just breezed right across. Why was it totaled? Because I put rivets all in the body. So yeah like... Dad? Yeah I mean it's not like it wasn't drivable it's just nobody's gonna I couldn't sell it so I could drive it like that but everybody's gonna know that everyone's gonna, I couldn't sell it so I could drive it like that, but everybody's gonna know that everyone's gonna know that it was me. So like it just increases the probability of something happening to it. It's like I'm not gonna, I don't

like the idea of having a vehicle that I don't drive. So I'm not into collecting things. Where does the gun go? Oh, yeah. It goes right there. I hope it pops out. Oh, it mounts to the front. Yeah. And where do you operate the gun from? So inside, inside the car. And so you can manually arm it

in the cup holder slides out and then it has the switch for fire and everything. It's great. Okay. And then of course you can use it. You can. You can. Yeah for the remote fire system. Yeah. So you can shoot it while you're driving. Well the passenger can. You just focus on driving or you can, what you can do is you can, um, you can, you can put it in a fuck, forget what the call the, the mode's called where you, um, you call the car. Yeah. Oh, it's like it's not century, but, um, it's summon. Yeah. You summon the car and you can shoot it while it's being, oh no, I pressed center instead of summon Yeah, you summon the car

You can shoot it while it's being Instead of summon and it killed grandma Third ballet this year Ding the door That sounds when we were at the the the what do you call it ranch? Remember I was doing that remote control gun thing? Neverland. Remember I was doing that remote control like gun thing that had the screen on it. Is this like that at all?

Is it a similar company like? Exactly. OK, exactly. Except for that. Actually, no, it's it's very similar to that because it still has the the multi-axis movement on the you can be so active Okay, so yeah so what I remember about that system is If you give me a second that I can tap tap tap tap adjust these these crosshairs on my readout to be exactly where

I want so it'd be like a perfect sniping type system or if I was a stationary target far away I could put a machine gun on it and but but but but but but but but but but but it seemed like if there was a fast moving target, I would have really struggled to track it. It felt like I was a new bit of video game and I didn't have my both my axes down or something. It's not really how does this compare to that? Like like if if something was running 50 if someone's something's 50 yards in front of you it's running left or right. Could you track it sweeping across and shoot it for sure? For sure. Oh, God. Now, to be fair, to be fair, I haven't shot it yet. So like the shoot is next week. And so I've just been building out the studio here trying to get everything ready. And the build before was to

stress test the 134 on the front to see if it activated any sensors on the car and caused the airbags to deploy or something like that. Right. And it didn't. So now I feel confident in being able, cause I took it on a racetrack last time. I was taking people for joy rides

cause it has a full illumination kill switch. So the car goes completely dark. And I put NVGs on and have people ride shotgun and we'll go around a racetrack shooting the minigun doing blanks and stuff like that but still. That's awesome. I like to think you're not allowed on this racetrack and that's why you're running dark. No one's going to tell him no. It has a minigun in it. They're really cool about it.

Yeah, I mean, you know, because it is a racetrack, they want to make sure that. Another question. Yeah. Where does the mini gun draw its power from? Does it have a, you got a standard 12-volt? Completely independent. Okay. Cause if you'd gone so nerdy as to integrate it into the Tesla's power

system, that would have been wild. And I wanted to, there's just so many challenges around Teslas, so it's really kind of fascinating. Hopefully people will appreciate the amount of effort that goes into it, because when I did the Toyota Prius, Bob, you know, dangerous Bob, right? Like he went to town, him and the guys there in Globe, Arizona, they like put a brand new frame

and reinforced it in the floor pan and everything. But there wasn't a whole lot technologically to it. Whenever I was trying to build out the Model X to remove the seats in the back, the car wouldn't drive. It wouldn't even turn on because all the sensors in the seat, the car wouldn't drive, it wouldn't even turn on because all the sensors in the seat, like so whenever the car gets into an accident, it actually measures the body position

and the weight of the person on the seat so it knows how to modulate the airflow of the airbag as it's deploying. It's insane. So if you're slightly off here, it'll be softer or there'll be a little. So the court did that forever ago. Yeah. That was part of my sales pitch. I'd explain that to families, especially interesting. I'm like,

Toyota just gives you a big old bag of air. They don't care how small your children are, sir. Here at Ford, we're weighing your wife and your kids. Don't worry, ma'am. We won't tell anyone. wife and your kids. Don't worry, ma'am. We won't tell anyone. I was fucking 19. And I hit my wife. Oh, yes, I am. I'm fucking 19 year old Kyle. I'm absolutely hitting on your wife, sir. By the sport. Um, here's the question. Yeah. Have you, Elon Musk is such a mean Lord.

We were just talking about him at CPAC being ridiculous. Have you like shown this to him or do you plan to show this to him? I know he's a little bit of a controversial figure these days, but I bet he'd be down to like, I know they're also weird about modifying Teslas and refurbing Teslas especially, but if you're putting a minigun on a Tesla, I think he might be into that. And it's for the troops. They're like a kind well, so I I have to be careful because some of the relationships um, they're like very sensitive about yeah, well, you know, because you know, fps russia and the videos that you did there are some some companies that have security or government contracts that if they get the wrong type of exposure, they jeopardize those contracts.

And Tesla and the EV market is looking how to integrate into law enforcement and military operations. And so, you know, dumb redneck here with the ability to do certain things that may see it as something that's cool. They may see it as something that's cool. They may see it as something that's like, hey, we don't condone that. And they would sever those relationships with those people. So to be able to get around some of these sensors,

you really have to know what you're doing. And I've worked with some different people in kind of circumventing those check loops and stuff like that to make sure that we could. I'm just imagining a whole commercial for this where like it's up, but it's directed by Paul Verhoeven. So your vehicle's now the urban pacification vehicle. And then at the end, it's revealed that we put

one of those, one of those brain implants in the dog too. So he's a cyber dog now and he's got cyber feet. I don't like that. I don't like a cyber footed dog. He lost his feet in the war. He's a hero dog. You don't want to give him cyber feet? You can retire him and let him live

the rest of his days in peace. Why are you still a hero, Taylor? Now he has six spider legs and two stabby claws that he can attack with. If a troop gets blowed up and they're all exploded, we don't send them back into war with blade legs. We give them a nice pension. No, we bring them back home.

No, we're bringing those dogs that have been traumatized overseas. We're giving them arachnid underbodies and we're allowing them to police America. I hate your ideas. I don't want to take the cuteness of a dog and make it spider-like. I would love that. I would hate that. It's fucking clicking and clacking, ruining your hardwood. Dude, there's a... I wouldn't like that. What I want to know about the truck or the car rather is that cage in the back that could

also be used to pacify foes, couldn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay. Yeah. So is that... The cool thing about electric vehicles though, that Kyle appreciates is like without the engine in the front, you can store a lot of ammo, a lot of ammo, especially for belt feds. If you have a belt assist and being able to feed that mini gun. Ooh, little robot dog back there. How much would a trunk full of ammo weigh? Pretty heavy.

Yeah, pretty heavy. Okay, so what is, Richard, for those listening, Richard has one of those robot dogs that's going to be committing civil rights violations any day now. No, no, no, no. No, you're going to have to fight against people who don't have civil rights first. Is this one of the good ones? It is now. I mean, it is, no. I got a backlog. No, these dogs against people who don't have civil rights first. Don't worry. Is this one of the good ones? It is now.

I mean, it is right now. The light's green. We're good. What's its capacity? What is that one for? Just reconnaissance? Assault crimes? Yeah, ISR really.

To be brutally honest, right now they're more a pain in the butt than anything. Anybody who has a DJI drone knows the pains associated with when you want to use your device you have to update it like twice a day before you can even use it these guys are very much the same but they're fun man like this whole the whole studio man i'm building a uh a little cyberpunk alley i'm gonna have like a VHS store bodega and everything out here. I got the camera robot and all that jazz. That's awesome. Yeah. Can the can the dog do anything? Like can you hit a button and make it do a flip or what?

No, I got an update, which is so frustrating because I was like, son of a bitch. I know when Chiz hit me up, I was like, all right, well, I'll have the dogs booted up and ready to go so you guys could see that. But then I have to do a fricking update and I can't right now. Well, that's gay. Can you put a gun on it? Can you just put a gun on the back of it and go to town?

The flamethrower guys, what are they? Throwflame.com or something. I think they have one that has a flamethrower mounted to it and everything But you can do a number of different things. It's we're in a very gray area far as the regulatory bodies around Yeah, you want one that shoots I would assume it fall under a destructive device. Yeah, that's the problem

I was thinking what you could mount on it and then you could sell them, but they could be easily modified by the LEOS. Just to pick it to be real. Yeah, why couldn't they just do that? Well, no, you need like, it's always better if you don't have your own proprietary device. Woody was saying we saw Chinese bots fighting or doing shit weeks ago and he was like, I'm kind of annoyed that they took a gun that I've seen before and they just strapped it to a robot but I don't think you want to build your own proprietary mechanism. What if you had a bot that sprayed dye, that dye they use in banks to identify an attacker or a robber and they also use it sometimes in pepper spray and it's like, oh yeah, it marks the bad guys in riots. It goes out there and it, with a camera,

we identify the real troublemakers in the crowd. We spray them with dye, and then the officers know who to grab in a riot or a situation like that. And they'd be like, oh, cool, cool, cool. Then they can put pepper ball launchers or pepper spray launchers, CS hoses or whatever they want on there.

Then the Chinese can put flamethrowers on there. They got those those Dweger fellows that they need to round up, I'm sure. They're going to copy us no matter what. And so we just need to move past it and get better at a faster rate than them. That die. Someone in my high school pulled the fire alarm because he wasn't prepared for a test. And he came back to class and it was all over his hands. He kept them in his pockets. He was like trying to keep it subtle.

It didn't work. They knew exactly who did it. Huckleberry pen shit. That's so stupid. That is absurd. I don't know anyone who actually did a fire alarm pull because they were unprepared for something in school. That was like a meme. Like there was a die on the fire alarm. Yeah. The lever that you pull, it squirted a die in my high school. That was like a meme. Like there was a die on the fire alarm. Yeah, the lever that you pull, it squirted a die in my high school. No way. Is that not normal? Do they not all do that? I bet

it's a high school thing. Yeah, there's no way if you're like a businessman in a meeting and you see smoke and you pull it, you're going to ruin your suit. Yeah, as I think about it, that didn't that guy, a Democrat in the House of of Rep pull one like last year to him He may be trying to avoid a vote. I'm not sure I think he was trying to avoid it That was so funny because he's like I didn't do that You guys are a bunch of fucking liars and there's like here's a video of you pulling it and he's like a fail What I remember that day? Multifaceted

It's multifaceted. It depends what pulling it is. We had a guy pull it one time and it was a big like, they put out a bounty to tell on who had done it. And somebody was like, I'm going to go tell on so and so I know he did it. He's like, I'm going to get that that money. I don't remember what it was like $150 or something. And I was like, yeah, you're going to tell on yeah. So I beat him there and I told on him first.

Where was it? I didn't even know who had done it. But, uh, but then the other guy, like, he's there like just a few minutes later. So they made a split the reward. And he's so mad. How much was the reward? Like a hundred hundred and $50, but to like, you know, a ninth grader, it's like, yeah, it's a ton of money. It's like a hundred hundred fifty dollars but to like, you know a ninth grader it's like yeah It's a ton of money. It's like a whole video game Yeah, you know I can buy a whole video game with that. We had also somebody break into the school

I don't know what night it was probably a Friday night So they had the the weekend till anybody knew what had happened I don't know what their goal was But they they tried to break into the computer lab and we had that glass that the wire through it Tried to break into the computer lab and we had that glass that the wire through it So you could kind of see in a little bit but not get through it And he had kicked all that wire in and tried to break in and he had stolen a couple of computers But then he had just gone on a rampage like he they said obviously I wouldn't know because I was a student at the time but they said that he shit in a pot and put it in an oven and

shit in a pot and put it in an oven and baked it and left it baking all night. And like they found it like day or two later, like this baked turd that had been calcified. Come on, just good clean fun. And then he went into the gym and like sprayed fire extinguishers everywhere. And it sprays that like powdery chemical. I don't know what it is, but everywhere. The whole gym is covered in white powder. Real piece of shit. powdery chemical. I don't know what it is, but yeah everywhere the whole gyms covered in white powder Real piece of shit. They caught him. I remember I don't remember did he get in real trouble or school trouble? I think one of them was already out of school and the and the other one was in school

But I think he got all sorts of trouble. I've said this before but When I was in high school, probably sophomore junior year someone in my grade put Mighty Putty in all the locks through the front of the school and so like getting to school that day like there was just some poor janitor having to completely take off all the doors to get into the school because they they couldn't you know you can't put a key in them that Mighty Putty I guess they're not joking. It's a uh, yeah, it is. He did it way before school and this is, I, this is the poop bandit. It's the same guy.

No idea what, no idea what that guy's up to now. Hopefully he's doing good. Big shot. What a piece of shit. Cause he's doing like 10 to 20. Someone told me he works in finance now, but I found that hard to believe. I don't know. Maybe I've been misled. Yeah, no idea what that guy's doing.

He was having a good time in high school though. Just like in the classes having a handler because he was so poorly behaved. It's like he could have gone to class and learned. Did he have a family situation? Like was his parents divorcing? I don't know. I? He never, to my, I was never like close to him. And so like, I don't, I wouldn't have known if he had serious family problems

and none of my friends told me that he did. So I would guess not. He was always badly behaved. He also, he like was selling huge amounts of prescription pills throughout high school. Like as a 16, 17 year old, like Vicodin, Percocet. Clearing up everyone's strep throat.

He's clearing up everybody. Most of his clientele, I guess, wasn't even- Menisculine, Moxbilline, Fluconazole, I got it all. He wasn't like a guy who, his family was very wealthy. And so he had some connection where he could get huge sums of these things. And he wasn't like selling it like, hey, you want a pill for 40 bucks? Like he wasn't doing that.

He was selling to like these unbelievably seedy like criminal guys, these giant containers of like Vicodin and Percocet and whatnot and making huge sums of money. He like showed up at school one day. And this is one of those stories that like, this is one of those stories that I would be like total bullshit if I hadn't seen it.

But like he bought himself a Cadillac in cash because it was our senior year in high school. And he was one of those kids that like turned 18 in like two months before the year began. And so he bought a Cadillac in cash and then he drove it for like a week and then his dad made him return it. And he just, same guy, one of my close friends who I trust says that he got invited over there once and he's like, yeah, we used to hang out sometimes. And I was honestly afraid to tell him no.

Like he'd be like, dude, come over and hang out. And I'd be like, all right. And then he brought me into his room once and there was like really nice shit that like a 17 year old 18 year old shouldn't be able to afford and he had like a chest full of money. And I'm like a chest full of money. And he's like, it was a it was a big. And I was like, really? And he's like, Okay, well, it was a chest that you keep clothes in. And there was a shit ton of money on top of the clothes. And I'm like, Okay, that sounds more realistic than a ton of money on top of the clothes. And I'm like, okay, that sounds more realistic than a chest of money. You need to, you better be able to so we can put it in.

There were all these potions. All these potions, all this loot that he had found. But yeah, he was always out freaking high. Writing stuff on the wall and shit, selling huge amounts of drugs to gangsters. Dude, you always made this guy sound like a piece of shit, literally, because he was the, you know, right. He's leaving despicable mess.

We all thought it was funny. Written in feces. And well, I mean, modern day me thinks it's despicable. I've had his hand smelled all day. I bet he had the most nagging case of pink guy you've ever heard of. But now, now I'm here and he was some sort of Tony Montana of high school that he was running shit. That because because what's implied by your story is that he was so tough at 1718 that he could like inject himself into the adult criminal underworld and they wouldn't just take his shit. You know what

I mean? Like some you know, you're like, you're up and down and be like, give me your all this and the money, you know, dude, like, ruin up and down and be like, give me your all this and the money. You know, dude, I would not be surprised if he was being taken for a ride by whoever he was selling stuff to. But he kept Yeah, but he was selling huge amounts of pills. He just had to like keep going back to whatever well or CD family hook up he had that got him for him. And so like, to my knowledge, he was never doing like little time sales because I didn't know

anybody my age and he was my age who were doing prescription pills in 2007. That's bad ass. No one was doing that. You should still be friends. I guess that was pretty cool. I'm going to reach out to him. I'm going to find a way. I have like two friends who might be able to contact him.

You know, you might not believe this. Him and the fire point guy used to be close. Fire point guy. You know the flaming things on like strings. You swing them around. Why? Oh yeah. It'd be like just the most like it'd be like a field day and in eighth grade or something. And everyone when you're in eighth grade, you're like, Oh, I'm going to talk to my friends and hang out and do fun things eighth graders do. Maybe we'll play like some way too rough,

two hand touch football on the pavement or something. And having a good time. And like this guy, when we were like 13, was like showing up like blasted on hallucinogens. Like it didn't make sense. He is someone that I always suspected. I also didn't know if he had family stuff going on But it was always like this guy does a tremendous amount of drugs for someone our age

Like I'm still like I'm played Pokemon this weekend. Yeah, and he's like seeing things on field day Yeah, I didn't know anybody who did drugs. I wasn't cool enough You weren't cool enough. I guess not You didn't know that did drugs not like drugs like like that. Like there'd be like a couple of guys who were like, yeah, we get higher. And then there was like some losers that would huff gasoline and shit. But nobody had like he's like, yeah, he'd come to school blasted on hallucinogens. I didn't know what those were. Like, really? We didn't know. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I knew people who did lots of drugs, every drug,

and it didn't make me cool in the slightest. These were the other guys whose names started with W, who sat in the back of every class, and I think got ruined for it. We were always alphabetized in my schools. So I was like in the back with my fellow losers. I don't wanna, yeah, it was no different. Yeah, it was a different life.

Yeah, I honestly wonder if I'd be a far better student. My last name was Alan or something. You would be as funny though. Would have forced you to because you couldn't have goofed off as much. You would have been like, hey, shut the fuck up. We're learning. Right. Everyone backs like behind you sees you. But that was in the back of every class.

Did you know a lot of a lot of kids at your school, Richard, do drugs early? No, I've never done any drugs myself. Their teeth were green and brown. That's not drugs. Well, I mean college gets it. It's downstream. You feel like you've got an eye on your shoulder looking over everything you're doing all the time. Yeah, that's fair. When you're putting mini guns in Teslas, you can't be fruiting around with that shit. Yeah, yeah, that's probably a good idea. I've worked in high school, though, like even in high school, like I just didn't have access to those drugs. I would hear people, again, some people would talk about it, but but nobody was offering many drugs I told these guys got jobs at the grocery store so they could huff all the ready whips

They just do like 24 cans and then like the remainder on the shelves these nearly dead ready whips Is that that's ready whip right? It's the one yeah, either one their brand there's both brands and Or with either one their brand. Those are both brands by brands and that's why they were dudes go to high school with Hunting rifles in their back windows or anything like that. Yeah Yeah, not their back window, but they have it behind their seat sometimes like if they went hunting Um that morning especially but say 9 11 happened or not 9 11, but uh columbine. What was it? Was that 99? happened or not 9-eleven but Columbine what was it was that 99 so like I was there I was going to high school right as all that was ending and it was it was

like hey if anyone's got a shotgun or a rifle in your seat out back in you and the parking lot certainly no one wants to know about it and don't go do anything today but don't bring it to school with you there was a whole thing like like because kids would go hunting in the morning and then they'd come to class. And you wouldn't have, they'd be in their camouflage in class. You wouldn't have time to go home and stash your gun. But that had to all remember before Columbine hazing. A lot of times guys would bring paint guns to, you know, we had our the way our football fields were as practice field was on a plateau. The game field was down and then the school was down.

So sometimes like for hazing, guys would get put in ball bags and shot with paint markers and stuff. Like, you know, I mean, camaraderie. Nobody was overly sensitive about like guns, even when I was in high school from like 2000, 2004 or whatever, because I remember I had an airsoft pistol

in my like center console and I would like. Brandish it at other students. If you like, would draw over the orange. Yeah, yeah, it looked like a real like this thing looked like a it looked like a Beretta, like a Beretta, like an M9 or something like that, like like from

Lethal Weapon. So I wanted it and it looked like a real gun as much as any real gun. And whenever we would leave school and all the students we'd all go get in our cars and we'd be in this big like line of 300 cars melting down to two lines leaving the school, you know, I'd brandish at my buddies or people had Maybe I'd pop them a few pop pop pop like shoot their windows

You know, nobody was scared. They were like haha guys got his Is that real? No, no, no, don't worry. But nobody was like ratting me out or making a big deal of it. So question. A different time. You know, the Libertarian Party was like very vocal about Ross Olberk, like leading up to the election and everything. And, you know, myself and a lot of other people very kind of happy to see that that happened first week in the administration. Is there anything that the PKA community and Reddit together and like like help FPS Russia get his uh his freedom to bear our arms back well we're

waiting where so we've gotten in with future ATF director Brandon Herrera yeah and so all we need is for that to absolutely happen and then we'll get Trump's ear or really the best hope is that Barron on his own sees a meme and then leads him back to a video and then he looks for new videos. Is that a thing though? Like people can they pardon you and restore your rights? They could they can do whatever they want yeah there's a petition with like 50 000 signatures on it now So we need to get it up to 100. If anything comes from this this fucking show, let's get like a ton of videos like spamming the internet advocating for FPS Russia to get his rights back. Dude, there are there are so many like Kyle is a legit legend. Like I follow a lot of on Twitter, like the gun people like Brandon and Donut

Operator and there's a whole ecosystem of these guys, a lot of them with big followings. And like so often a video of Kyle from like 2013 will be posted and someone who seemingly has been in the gun world for like 10 years now will be like, yep, that's where I got my start boys. I know you think I've always been around, but it was this guy pretending to be Russian that got me into it. And so like those guys are pushing it hard. They want to see you. That made me go to daddy's closet

get his camera and his gun and sneak out into the woods. The very first time I met Brandon Herrera at the range, he shook my hand and he was like, Hey man, it's like an absolute pleasure to meet you. I used to watch your videos when I was a kid and I fucking died inside. I died because he meant it as a compliment. That's a compliment. It is like, like getting older now, like, and seeing guys like Brandon, like hitting this stride, this level of success, like just in my head, I'll be like, yeah, Brandon, like this is what he's doing with his life.

So he's definitely older than I am. Look it up. No, he like graduated high school in 2013, I'm like, ugh, I'm a loser. You're a great example. He's 26 years old, right? People want to criticize him for his going too hard in the paint and being tilted in life.

But I would look at that and I would say, yeah, no, he needs balance or whatever. And then I realized, oh wait, no, he's 26 years old. No, no, no, no, do your thing. Do whatever you want. Your 20s go hard in the paint, man. Like you're killing it. Like burn your 20s.

Maybe start thinking about things in your 30s or something. But like, yeah, like to each their own, but like, you know, everybody tries to put their, their current circumstances on somebody else's moral compass and it's like, no, it doesn't work at scale. Yeah. So basically, if you have any other suggestions or connects Richard, to get us closer to King Trump so that we can get that info over to him about Kyle. If that happened, it would be great.

But I don't think being annoying is the way to accomplish something like that. But what about like vague threats? So I got my gamer tag back. That's true. It's also what he got is weed. No, it's just so we can do it. I think it's stupid, right? I think the more people understand the circumstances

around what happened, the more frustrating it is because like, you know, you have a situation with Ross, Olbert and the, you know, people talking about the, the way the different, the Bureau and everybody else maybe handled things improperly and- This is the Silk Road guy? Correct. Why are you for that, right?

Like he used Silk Road to facilitate murders and drug sales and more. What do I have wrong? So for me, I'm an individual rights absolutist. I'm very much a hardcore libertarian. And that means that as long as you're not hurting somebody else, you do you. What you do in the privacy of your own home is completely up to you. The thing with the Silk Road is that, yes, they may be doing illicit things,

but that communication was over a public or private protocol. And for the government or whoever to step in, again, there's nuances around, he should probably be the one to talk about it, but there are allegations that the government really overstepped in how they were there and other instances, maybe with agent provocateurs and riots to all these other different things

where they use different entrapment. There was a lot of shadiness around the allegations around him. And so- A lot of shadiness around Silk Road, right? Like that's what it was. It was for facilitating the- But here's the thing.

The activity. I'm a software developer. And like Bitcoin is perfect example, right? Bitcoin is a public ledger, right? It doesn't mean that like it being decentralized, most centralized government organizations will say it's a threat to democracy because people are using it for illicit activity,

they're buying drugs and they're soliciting murders and all these other different things. No, it's a decentralized cryptocurrency that a government can't stop you from transacting, but because it's a public leisure, there's transparency and what is going where, right right and so he created a website and you know people wanted to hold him accountable for the things happening on the website right it's like for me I see code as speech if you create a website and somebody uses

it for nefarious activities or whatever, you're not, you shouldn't be liable for it if it's done publicly. Now if you were doing something to shield it or make it hidden from government authorities or whatever, if the people are, hold them accountable. But because you created the code, like, and that's where we're kind of at in the world of Section 230 with, you know, YouTube and social media companies hiding behind Section 230 as a private company. Whenever it's convenient, then they can pull certain strings on algorithmic weight, or they can be a public utility when they need to have that kind of protection. And I think it sucks when somebody like,

the developers of tornado cash or any of these decentralized or any of these websites get held accountable for the people that are transacting or using their services, I think it's bullshit. I see where you're coming from. So what did they nail Ross Ulbricht on? Was it like, hey, people were buying lots of drugs on your service and you think that you hit it?

It was about a murder, like hiring a hitman. And again, I'm not the guy to speak to it. There's people who are way more eloquent on like what happened and how it went down, but there's allegations around the different organizations setting him up. I'm struggling with it personally, cause like on one hand,

I've never held AT&T responsible for what someone said on their phone, right? You can set up a murder over cell phone and I don't blame AT&T. But as far as I know, and I'm no expert, that's pretty much what Silk Road was for. It was for illicit activities. I don't think people were selling lawn mowers

and corals and old fish tanks and whatever other, this was no Facebook marketplace. This was the illegal marketplace. I agree, but you have to, the problem with permissionless or open systems in a lot of ways is the people who are early adopters are the ones who are outcast of the centralized platforms or entities, right?

So like, you know, when you have DRM media that is circumventing different things like VHS or Blu-ray and all these other different things, the porn industry follows or digital, right? Like downloads and stuff like that. You know, you have Bitcoin, Bitcoin early days was the currency of choice for people doing nefarious things back then

because it was a way to transact value without having to use a centralized banking system. Now you still had to go to an exchange or something like that, like Mt. Gox or whatever. But the point is early adopters, when you have a lawless or permissionless, like somebody can't control it, they can't stop it, you do have your edge cases.

But the problem is, when you have the centralized banking system and all these other different systems that are heavily controlled, YouTube and everything else, you have those government organizations or private companies put their thumb on the scale in some way, shape or form and say, if you don't comply, we won't let you use this anymore.

And I think that's bullshit. That's why things like Bitcoin, I'm like, you might not like it as an investment, but to be able to transact and send a billion dollars from point A to point B in the most secure form known to man today, not having to deal with Swift or anything else. I think it's a fantastic upgrade to our economic system to be able to exchange value that fast, that cheaply, that secure without so many middlemen. And it's the same thing with

information. I think information and privacy are arguably more of a threat at this point in time with things like FISA and all of these different, these bills and everything that get passed that allow data brokers to create profiles around people's unique identifiers and then sell that to the government so that they can have access to all your information without needing to obtain a search warrant. I mean there's a number of issues and problems. So for me I think that it's frustrating when

developers get held accountable for the things that people do on their platform. It's like if you're a solopreneur you don't have the staff to create all the checks and balances and stuff. I don't know. No, I see where you're coming from with it. And I like Woody's comparison with, you know, yeah, it would. Can you imagine how much trouble Verizon would be in if they were like, all right, we're looking through all the texts in all these heavy crime areas. You're now accountable for all these plans of crime. But I also don't know enough about Silk Road. It does seem like it was explicitly for like, hey, you want narcotics?

But it was the early days. It was an edge case in my opinion. Like they, yes. And they were transacting primarily in Bitcoin. And that's why Bitcoin had this kind of thing, the stigma associated with it early days. But like ultimately the security value proposition Bitcoin had this kind of thing, the stigma associated with it early days. But ultimately, the security value proposition and being able to store your own crypto keys. And if you're

part of a country that's going through a revolution, you're not going to smuggle gold bars across a border as a refugee, but you could smuggle a 20 word seed phrase and Carry your your worth with you that way In a way that you know doesn't expose 20 word That's how long it is to get back in your Bitcoin password Well, I mean it depends on depends on yeah, but you can do you can do more but you know guys Is that your problem was too short. It was too short. Yeah. Yeah.

I wanted to do more. I want to give a speech. Well, there's a number of them, you know, and I'm going to put in I'm going to put racial slurs in it so that current AI can't brute force it. Ooh. Oh, yeah. Oh, but you can do multi-sig, multi-sig authentication, too. So like you could have a two of three

multi-sig, a four of five or whatever, where it requires all those other different parties to sign a transaction to be able to initiate it. It's really such a, it's an amazing thing. And to know that like, you know, you don't have to ask permission, you don't have to run the risk of a corrupt government, you know, seizing your assets. You know, it's it's it's an amazing value proposition, in my opinion. Are there any restrictions on what Ross can do now? Is it like, all right, you're pardoned and out of jail, but you can't go back to making Silk Road? I don't know. I don't know. I know some of those. I know there are some some things around guys and their parole. But if you're pardoned, I think that that's just your time served

some guys who get paroled can't have access to computers and stuff like that, but Yeah, I don't know what the the terms were around his pardon Huh? Yeah, I don't know much about that guy. Don't know much. I think it was give us a hundred and eighty three million dollars And we'll let you go. Well, $183 million. Oh, he had Bitcoin. That's why. He had a lot more than 183 million in Bitcoin, a lot. He still does. Pardon. That's what I love. I can't prove it. I made it up by myself, but you really think Trump's not selling pardons. This dude's fucking selling.

But you think politicians use that shit to enrich themselves? Woody i mean i mean well he spoke he spoke at the libertarian conference like like and that was that was that was one of the primary reasons why the libertarian party got behind endorsing him so was that was that was a that was a key talking point he He was like week one, he actually said day one, but week one he followed through. Yeah, that was a key talking point at the convention. The only thing I can remember from, I've never watched any libertarian conference or rally, but this was probably eight years ago now

where it had all the libertarian candidates up on stage. And it must've been like Rand Paul or something whoever like the most mainstream of them was. He absolutely kills it. Like I wish he would fucking run for something because he can communicate in a way that a lot of us idiots can't. Like we stumble on coherent phrases and everything and he's just really well spoken. Kaveh. They need to pick their battles better from what I can tell about the libertarian,

like I recall so strongly and laughing at all these guys up on stage. Number one, like half of them are dressed like samurai and like one of them's got a fucking like trench coat on and it's like what the fuck one guy is wearing a suit who's like the front runner, like something Johnson maybe and like he someone asked him in the audience like, so what's the deal with driver's licenses? The state has no bearing and no right to label us with this and require it to move freely about our nation and the Mike, or whatever Johnson, the main guy, I think his name is, was like,

well, you know, we need some way to identify that people on the road are safe drivers. Like we need that. It's a useful form of identification of, uh, it's a useful form of identification for if you do this and that. And what if you need to buy something that it's an age requirement and the whole audience is like, yes, yes. Just like they're, they're furious at the idea of driver's licenses. And it's like, it's like, are you guys retarded? Like they're, they're censoring huge swaths of speech on social media and you're having a giant debate about driver's licenses here.

Get real. And that's a problem. I feel like every single party suffers from the extreme 10% co-opting the narrative around it and that comes at the cost of elections. Because I would say the bulk majority of people in the US, I would say 80% of the people are very similar on their views and the polarizing 10% on each end on those very, very niche hot button, very well sharing and engagement farming topics

that actually don't move the needle from most people in society. Like they drive political donations and fear, which get people to vote as well. Yeah, that's it. When the Democrats lost this most recent election, destiny was like to the far left, forget it, you're out. You know, we can win without you, but we can't win with you. And somehow that phrasing resonated with me.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Our most extreme weirdo lefts, let's just like ostracize them or something. Can we silence them? You know, like, all right, purple hair, sit in the back. I don't think that's like a good strategy moving forward for the left. Like, I remember Hutch and Destiny and a number of like big media people saying like the, oh, we can win without this crazy contingent of far left people, but we can't win with them. And then the far left people didn't turn out to vote at all and they lost badly.

And so like, I think it's like a significant portion of like young, there are no young people in the country who vote left to are like, I love neoliberal foreign policy and neoliberal economics. It's like the reason they voted left ever was for those like culture war things that they perceived as a big deal. Like they only ever voted left because they were like, yes, you know, this, this gay cause is something that I will get invested in. And so it's like the idea that you could excise that,

it's really with just removing all the young people because no 20 year old left leaning people are like really excited about, you know, economic. Whenever people analyze the election, they always say, ah, you know, those little social things that nobody cares about, like the bathrooms or, or, or the gender thing. And it's like, no, you keep missing the point. That is what they care about. That those are the voters who say, I don't care what X, Y, and Z costs, get them out of the bathrooms. Get them out of the bathrooms.

There's so, when Trump was getting inaugurated and he announced that he was going to recognize only two genders, that was the biggest cheer he got all day. And he made four speeches that day to varying degrees of sycophancy and that in front of all half a room of haters was the biggest cheer all fucking day. Errol was like, yes! Finally! Someone heard us! We meant business and we got it! Like that was the cheer.

What motivates the base and gets them out to vote? It's usually extreme issues, right? Because like those, whatever those polarizing things are will supercharge that 10% to organize and actually go vote. It's really, really hard to get that 80% to vote. Like they just want to live their lives and they'll go to the ballot box maybe. But I, I believe a lot of people don't want to vote because they don't want to live their lives and they'll go to the ballot box maybe. But I believe a lot of people don't want to vote because they don't want to deal with jury duty and stuff like that.

And I had to stand in the rain. Yeah. Or they don't they don't want to have to go through the process of registering like my vote doesn't count. It doesn't matter. And I would argue that if people actually played a more active role in their local communities, that that thing at the higher state and federal level would probably sort itself out at some point. But I think people just feel like their votes don't count. If they would just really make

a concerted effort to know who was running for office locally, be it county commissioner to, especially now with taxes and everything, like people who, like just every, every aspect of your, your life is touched by these people. And most people don't even know who they are. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of unaccountable people in our system. Yeah. I think you're going to make the civic sexy though. You know, you, again, you need those causes, those inflammatory causes, those they're coming for your kids. Well, even the military, right? Like, you'll see a lot of the messaging right now with a lot of guys

is that they're just, you know, they feel that the military-industrial complex has co-opted, industrial complex has co-opted what it means to be an American and those core values and wanting to grow up to be a patriot and everything else and now you're fighting wars that nobody wants to fight and everything else. So these younger generations don't want to enlist or they don't want to join the military. But because I thought recruitment was down. Since December it was up and then January it was even higher. Okay okay well I'm leading up to the election I have no idea what it is. Well okay through the Biden presidency it was terrible.

Because I would argue that if you really want to make a change like even if you don't want to serve in like the military again, your local community, be it firefighter, police officer, there are so many different ways that first responders can really have a meaningful impact on their communities. And I know that the law enforcement community has had a pretty rough go at it in the last 10, 15 years or whatever, but there's like, you know, there's, there's, there's a lot of it 20 years, 30, 40, 50, whatever. Um, but yeah, but be the change, right? Like guards and Skyrim are bitches. They've been doing this forever.

I mean, someone steal your sweet road. You might not track it down. No, makes a big difference in theampart division of LAPD, but like if you know, rural America and stuff like that, people still really hold their law enforcement, you know, sheriffs, you know, everybody very like meaningfully as part of their community. So like you can still make a difference. Yeah, I mean, there's a number of ways but I don't know, I think a lot of people feel like they've, they've kind of given up or they've lost hope. And I think that, you know, you shouldn't have that kind of defeatist attitude. There's little

things ounces equal pounds. I don't hear that at all. In my world, everybody's like, wearing Burger King crowns. Like, everybody's so fucking hyped. They're like vibrating like like they're it's like your team won the World Series And then your other team came and won the NBA finals and then and you're just on a hot fucking streak your college Alma mater won the champ the team whatever that hockey thing is Yeah, the other team stadium burned down the other team stadium burned down and their coach got cancer Like this is like the best year for the people in my world. This would be like if Nick Saban was raped by a bulldog to death. Like an actual like a pack of rabid bulldogs raped Nick Saban to death.

And it was televised. What if Tim Tebow fell in the Everglades and was eaten by an alligator? Oh my God, that would be so wonderful. If he was doing some sort of bullshit. I'm going to throw a football through a hoop over a tank of alligators and then and he fell in and they ate him No, they paralyzed him and he'd be all positive about it and we like this is what god wanted for me You know what? He wouldn't be positive about it. So a little respect he'd be so respect on his name there Fuck him. I don't care. You'd have around some more big jack exact upper body. I'm sorry. I take college football too. Seriously

It was it was a painful time Richard mentions patriotism, which we can all appreciate and the most patriotic thing happening Today is the USA facing Canada in the championship match of the Four Nations Cup rich Not at all? Not at all. You were the one person who wasn't watching that game? I guess. My chat asked me 600 times if I saw the game.

I think they were trolling me at some point. Like, is it good? It was great. Yeah, the game was good. I didn't see it. I saw the opening nine seconds, though. So I'm a non-hockey fan, but it seems like what they did was got rid of their hot their all-star game and they did like a four

country tournament and now the U.S. is playing Canada for the championship tonight in 20 minutes or so and obviously there's huge tension between USA and Canada because of Trump and the tariffs, etc. So they've been booing our anthem at like non-championship games. Like anytime the US anthem plays in Canada, they boo it and we boo theirs. So opening the game up at the last, we already beat Canada once like I said, but they did make it to the championship so we're playing them good tonight. But in the previous round when we played Canada, they began the game with like three slobber knocker fights and we beat the shit out of some Canadian players and then beat them in the game.

And then Trump's tweeting about it. He's like, one more loss, Governor Trudeau and the US takes Canada. Yeah. So championship is tonight. I have high hopes for the US of a we're a solid team. Not to say Canada is not, it's anyone's game. I would guess, I don't know how much like home advantage matters here, but it's in Boston.

And so you're gonna have Americans. I'm looking at the money line. It's even, they're both minus 110. All right. Oh wow. Gordy ESPN. The line is set at 5.5 goals. Hopefully it'll be high scoring. That'll be fun. I'm going to be Taylor, what's your score? I made mine already. I'll tell you. I'm going to say four to two USA. I said five to three. Okay. Better. Better. How many fights plus or minus three? See this definitely, definitely minus. No, no, that's not,

that's too easy. Plus or minus a 3.5 minus also minus three less. All right. Too easy. We're rolling on our predictions. No. So basically, uh, so it's something that can change in championship games or in like really high stress games is you might not want to fight as much, especially because the Kachuck brothers who got in our fights, they're really good players. And so in that game, it made sense for them to do it and amp everybody up. But the intensity is already

pretty high in this game. And we don't want to be losing Matthew Kachuk or Brady Kachuk in through big segments of the game. And so I can see them starting. It's going to be a very physical game. There's going to be a lot of heavy hitting, but barring a dirty hit, I wouldn't be surprised to not see any fights. Yeah. Tell you just really don't know what you're talking about here. That's fair. I think we're going to see a minimum of three fights tonight the first nine seconds yeah but there may be a fight like like as soon as they uh i hope there is i hope you're right as they toss the puck as they say that is exactly what it starts right at the start loses it but

gets the instigator penalty if we get an instigator early on, that would be incredible. And all we need. Yeah. Let them start the fight, lose the fight, serve the penalty. We need one of our guys to just like go against hockey morality, which would be like, Kyle, if I was on team USA and you're on team Canada and you're talking shit to me at the face off and you're like, you want to go, Bob? And I'm like, yeah, let's fucking throw down. But the ref can't hear us. And then the game starts and you throw your, and like they do the face off and I act as though I'm just playing, but you've already thrown your gloves down and

you start approaching me. I just have to look back at you like, Oh, get this goon away from me. Keep trying to play. And they'll be like, Hey, you instigator you're in the box. But that's very, that's unbelievably frowned upon in hockey culture. You can't like accept a fight and then turn it down. Or literally, Shorzy does that and it's amazing. Yeah.

You don't love that show so much. Please give it another try. I will give it a go. And well, I hope the boys have been antagonizing the Canucks all week then. I know they've been like sending them weird pictures of like jerking off with maple syrup to their girlfriends and stuff. Like, like, stuff. What a terrible thing to jack off. Yeah, yeah. It works.

You just got to be quick before it gums up. You want the gum. No, you want it gummy. You've got to lose a lot of friction to heat that maple syrup up and get it viscous. All right, lower that viscosity. Cheese Mountain by maple syrup ejaculation station. That's like a guaranteed yeast infection for her. Wait a minute, wait a minute. You got girls involved in this? You're not a true gamer. All right. No, this is just for the boys over here. Just for America, really. But yeah, I'm going to be checking the highlights throughout the night, hoping that they post the good ones quickly on social media.

I really hope America wins. That would be so awesome to win. I cannot believe what a fucking home run the NHL hit with this event. If they go back to regular All-Star break next year, everyone's going to be pissed because that shit sucks. next year, everyone's going to be pissed because literally if they did a hardest shot competition during one intermission and then like a most accurate shot during the other intermission, that would cover every good thing in the All-Star game. You get this intense game and then you get the hardest shot competition.

I like racing, but yeah, that's one of my favorite skill competitions with the top speed laps around the ring. I would take speed and hardest shot. I care about hardest shot more than accuracy. I like, because half the time hardest shot is like, all right, we're bringing up Dvorak Daviknovic who plays in the minor leagues and he's 6'11 and he's really bad, but he hits it hard.

And then he just smashes. They used to do the thing where they just did almost like penalty shots, where you skate in on the goalie, and people would do really clever things that blew my mind. I don't know if that still happens. Every once in a while,

a couple of years ago they did that, but I hope they never go back. This is so much more fun to watch. I know I'm the only hockey guy here, other than Woody. Woody knows this sport, he just doesn't watch it as much. They don't watch it, all right,

that's fair, that's fair, but I got a lot of much. Yeah, we'll watch it. All right. That's fair. That's fair. But I got a lot of hours. I was in like three leagues at a time. Yeah. You understand hockey. You just you're just not big on watching it, which is fair.

You enjoy watching basketball on there. It's the same fucking season. But yeah, it's it's one of those things that like if America wins this tonight, like a lot of people in America will be stoked. But Canada will be absolutely devastated. Like I think like a third of their population watched the game that wasn't even the championship. It was just the U.S. versus Canada in the earlier one. Like millions and millions of people watched it in Canada, which is a lot of them.

And so yeah, that would be great. Just a little, a little victory for the U.S. of a little changing of the guard. No longer will it be thought of that Canada's the undisputed number one team in the world. No, now, now there's a new contender. Now America's in the mix. So that's, that's going to be fun. Hopefully, hopefully, we'll get blown out. We'll happy it makes you. Oh, I love it. I love it. I enjoy because like I'll watch football and be like this is kind of fun and then like I won't know where to look when the play is unfolding because I like I did

Kyle it's not that I'm retarded it's that I'm not I'm not noticing all the things that I lowly circle around the football for you maybe no it's not that I know I can track the football that's much bigger and travels much slower than a puck it's not that I know I can track the football that's much bigger and travels much slower than a puck. It's that when I'm watching hockey I'm noticing what the players around the puck are doing and I can see a play set up. Whereas when I'm watching football I'm like all right this is pretty overwhelming. All right he got it and he got tackled. There we go. I remember Fox did that back in the day to hockey. That's why I said it. They did. People hated it. Oh, I remember Fox did that back in the day to hockey. That's why I said it. They did people hated it

For me though. All right for you got to remember though His TVs were so shitty back then that you were especially me because I was a kid I was on this little tube TV and it's like what the fuck is happening It's just a bunch of little fuzzy guys running around So putting that like glowy circle on the puck now you could follow the game and I'm the only hockey guy who thought it was good Situationally and here's my take on I might even win Taylor over a glowy circle on the puck. Now you could follow the game. I'm the only hockey guy who thought it was good situationally and here's my take on it. I might even win Taylor over. When the view of the puck is obscured by the boards,

I want the glowy thing back. I wanna be able to see through the boards. Like let's say it's on the near side, right? And the cameras are not getting it properly. Just show me where that puck is, like digitally. I would like that. Okay. And that would handle that. I would like that. Okay. And that would handle that.

I can see that's actually a really good point when they're like in a scrum and it's getting kicked back and forth and you can never really tell from that angle that I actually like that. I don't like technology being. I thought I might win you over but I thought the odds were like one in 10. I'm feeling good about this.

No, that was good. I didn't have that in my head. And I was like, oh, it would be good to see because so often you can't tell you're just having to look at their eyes where they're looking, no other way to tell. I like when they integrate tech in, I think they're gonna eventually do away with the umpires

for a lot of the stuff they're doing in baseball. The NFL has tons of electronics on the field, like those pylons have sensors in them, and that whole camera system above the field that's zipping around on a wire, that's so good. Like it used to be kind of janky. It's so good. Tennis does it really well.

The, the Hulk, I think it's called the Hawkeye system. And it's basically perfect. Like perfect. They'll show you what the ball did through this like digital rendering. And then if you see the replay, it's the same. And in tennis, if it's on the line, it's in, and if it's beyond the line, it's out.

Sometimes it's really close. They're aiming far as they can without going out, and the Hawkeye doesn't care. And the ball, when it hits the ground, like smushes and makes this not sphere-shaped smush on the ground, and they're able to superimpose that. It's pretty cool. They've got a lot smaller field of play there to work with and very simple simpler problem to solve. Yeah

Yeah, baseball has issues You know seems like they could be doing a better job. I don't watch baseball ever balls and strikes are so simple It's it's just so disgusting when that's wrong and when that's when that's your team's not getting those calls, it seems so corrupt. Everybody had a meltdown about the Chiefs this whole year, but my God, like some of those umpires, it was like, nah, that's not a strike today. So what are you doing to these people?

What are you doing to our jobs? And you'll see those coaches have a meltdown. You're like, oh, that's pretty funny. It's like, he's defending his guys' jobs. Like this guy's trying to ruin them for no reason, or he incompetent or he didn't see it and sometimes they're old as fuck Like you want some 25 year old Air Force pilot-eyed motherfucker up there like you? Staring like with intensity and he's on meth or something so he can be like fired up and like not believe He should had be vizined up and everything. Instead, you've got like 65 year old fat guys who

smoke cigars and drink whiskey who could barely get down in the stance anymore. Like, are you sure? Are you sure that was a because I don't know. Yeah, it was a stall. What is that? Yeah, I don't actually care about whether or not baseball does that, but I would like to not see baseball as a sport continue its decline that it seems like it's experiencing because it's a, you know, it's a very American sport. And so I might've gone up this year. Yeah, they thought it was on a long track record of it is. I think it had been. I, I'm wondering if this last year with some of the rule changes to speed the game up. They put that like pitch clock on the pitchers, you know.

Oh, yeah. And they cut the I think I read a stat that the the total time or the average time of the game went down significantly like 30 or 40 minutes or something. But then the total score went up or something maybe. So like like it made the game shorter and better by by every measure, although they did do away with that pitch timer thing For the playoffs in the series I think because obviously I didn't watch the series after the Braves shit the bed because they're fucking losers in a pathetic Organization that should be just sold or merged out or something burn that shit down No, they're an excellent farm system for the Yankees.

Fucking losers. Fucking losers. But no losers. They won in like 2019 or something, didn't they? Taylor Taylor. It's 2018. It's a it's a tradition of of of mediocrity and underperformance. And it's pathetic. Wait, it Georgia football? First of all, that's just the, you know, them spiting words.

You know, nobody talks about your Philadelphia 76ers and they're just. Nobody does talk about the 76ers, that's true. Unless it's a laugh, unless they want a good laugh because their team's doing poorly. Then they, no, we're talking about the Atlanta Braves actually in their. Oh, okay. For they, no, I, I, we're talking about Atlanta Braves actually. For some reason I'm never going to watch them play a game again.

You know baseball better than me, but aren't the Braves want to like, if you go back 15 years, just grab a number, maybe top five most successful. So what the Braves did really well is they're, they they've traditionally been in a pretty weak division in the National League East, and they went on this tear through the 90s and early 2000s where they won about 15 divisional championships in a row. They had Smoltz, John Smoltz, Greg Maddox, Glavin, well just those pictures and Glavin. Maddox is one of the greatest pictures of all time and Glavin and Smoltz were very good and they had that starting three and they won one series through that whole like time. And they got like Chipper Jones and and andrew jones and

david justice and marquis grissom and like like that's when i watched some of the braves yeah and and and through that whole time they they got it done once and it's just pathetic it's pathetic i played bobby cox's fat ass he was the coach during the time but But yeah, I'm not going to watch. I think you're coming down on the Braves too hard because I just looked up a list. Teams with the most World Series titles, Yankees 27, ridiculous, Cardinals 11, Red Sox and Oakland Athletics 9, Dodgers, Giants 8, Pir Pirates, five, Reds, five, tied. And then the Braves are right there, tied with the Tigers with four.

And so like they're... They should have won four in the ninth. We went pretty far down the list there. Wow, that's like nine, that's like top nine. It is a middling budget. Like I watched Moneyball the other day, that's such a good movie I what happened to the A's though. I think it like a year or two ago. They were a news story

because their fans were Like their sign said sell the team like like we've been sold out by management like like they were boycotting They had stated the stadium was completely empty. They had some kind of a whole meltdown. We're trying to sell the team Not sure but do you ever go into any games, Kyle, like Braves, Falcons, uh, Bulldogs or anything? No, no, I've been, uh, to, to one of the Braves games, but, uh, but no, I don't like, I don't like going to, uh, uh, sporting events in person. I've never had a good experience except to hockey. What? Hockey's pretty good. No, I was actually with Taylor in Colorado and we watched the Avalanche play... who'd they play?

Coyotes. Yeah and then I've been to a couple of Thrasher's games way back in the day but that's the only good viewing experience for you. Still remember they're two good players. Yeah, of course. I'm thinking about this. I'm putting it together. So, so Kyle goes on a little, you know, vacation and Taylor's there. I imagine Taylor dragged Kyle to a hockey game and he was game, right? Thinking back to my own experience, we're in Boston for PAX East and I drag, try to drag like 20 people to go to like Lozano's gym or something, dwindles down to like three, but Kyle's game, right?

Like MMA wasn't his thing at the time, but he was down to go. So tip of the hat to Kyle. Yeah. Trying something new. You, it's always like. It was good. You dropped like $600 on my ticket. So that's awesome. Yeah. Tip of the hat to Kyle. Yeah. Trying something new. You it's always dropped like $600 on my ticket. So yeah, we're like a buffet and drinks and shit. It was it was a good tickets, great seats. And it was a really good game. Neither of those teams at the time were incredible.

And so we had us behind the he had us behind the, he had us behind the bench and like the glass is here. I can like slap the glass and like, I don't know everybody's names, but there's the player. I mean, he's as close to me as the backside of my desk is to me. I could, I could lean forward and slap the glass and he definitely going to turn around and hear it.

Like I could have fucked with him. And you know, we're all, we're also just right there on the ice. It's so cold down there. So that was sick. I got really good tickets to a Stanley Cup game once when the hurricanes were in. That's awesome.

And it was like, yeah, I, I don't know why I didn't see the smell of the team coming, but these guys can use more deodorant. They do. You see like really how sweaty they are. Cause like if you don't know hockey and you're watching it from way up there, you're like, that guy just got on the ice 28 seconds ago

and he's already off again. And then you see it and it's like, cause they're going a hundred percent the whole time they're out there, just stinking. There was a game, dude, I had the worst migraine and a Stanley Cup hockey game to have like a, just horrible migraine. Everybody's screaming.

It went into like five periods. Like we're in double or triple overtime or something like that. And I'm sitting right behind the red wings bench. I think it was Brett Hull who scored like the overtime winner. He skates back and I know he was making eye contact with his own teammate, but it felt like it was at me because I was sitting right behind his teammate and he sticks his tongue out and it's like I'm not celebrating this with you. You're not on the same side. I went to like a Braves game and spent a similar amount on the tickets. Like I was behind home plate

and to the left or something like that. I was like, first of all, they're enormous. Like I didn't know so many of these guys were six, four or taller, they're all huge. And you can get a scope for that. But other than that, like you can't see the game. You can't see the game. Like you can see a little of the game,

but it's on that enormous field. The same with football. Basketball, I remember, I've never had good professional basketball tickets but obviously in high school you're sitting right there as close as you can imagine and that was always a great viewing experience so I would definitely like basketball too but football, MMA, all those big arena sports, soccer, it's just you're not seeing the game you're craning your neck up and looking at a Jumbotron in a room full of people. Why not

go to a bar and do the same thing at least then there's a drink in a bathroom yeah I agree about the the big games and the big MMA fights and stuff I like seeing the nuances around somebody working but it I mean so I was gonna throw it out there Texas part of the SEC now I had a bunch of friends come out from Georgia for the Texas UGA game. But the tailgating now has gotten so much fun. The way that they do the little tents and stuff that you can rent and they'll cater and everything else, or you bring up your own drinks.

And man, it's just a fun all day, just kind of hang out with friends and stuff. I don't do too many games, maybe do one or two games a year, but it's fun. Is this expensive? I hear like the tailgating experience is nice now. We rented a private tent and there's catering. Is this a pinkies in the air kind of tailgating experience? No, check it out, check it out. Okay, tell me.

So I didn't know until I went, but one of the guys from UGA, he rented it. Yes, it is expensive. It was like, I would say it's like, no, it is not expensive. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hear me out, hear me out. It's like, I think it was like a thousand bucks,

but he put his Zelle or his Venmo QR code on there and there was like 50 people there. he put his Zelle or his Venmo QR code on there and there was like 50 people there. So everybody chipped in like 20 bucks and it was like, oh, this is well worth it to have TVs to watch all the other games going on, hang out, we brought our own beers and stuff. But if you wanted, you could get Chick-fil-A catered and all that other stuff.

But I mean, we just brought our own coolers out and everything, so when you divide it by 50 people, it wasn't that expensive. And it was- It was a thousand divided by potentially 50? Yeah. Oh, that's incalculable, but it's probably not too much. 20.

Yeah. It's incalculable. Yeah, but like, it's cool because like all the people, like the chicks were baking cookies and little footballs and little bulldogs and stuff. And we had tables, we set all this stuff out, we brought all of our beer and everything. It was a really cool experience.

And I was- When it came time to watch the game, what was the game on? Oh, we went into the stadium. Oh. No, that the stadium. Oh. No, that's fine. Yeah. So you tailgate for a few hours, or depending on what time,

the game was at like five o'clock. So most people got there at like 11 or 12. You don't drink alcohol, do you? Do you drink alcohol? Yeah. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Okay. I thought you might not also. I was like, do you? Do you drink alcohol? Yeah. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Okay.

I thought you might not also. I was like, is it fun if you're not drinking? Yeah. Otherwise you'd be getting hosed. You'd have to eat like a lot of hot dogs to equalize that. Well, Texas is pretty cool because- Because the endorphins rush to equal the beers. No, to equal the money and yes, the endorphins.

I don't know about the endorphins, but there's like a big stage out there too. So they're playing country music and everything. It's like, it's awesome. So you're like that character in the movies who's like, doesn't cut, can't cut it anymore. Their hand trembles, but it's not like the war. It's not a like drugs. You need chili dogs. You're in processed hot dog meat withdrawal. You're shaking.

You're hiding it from your partner. processed hot dog meat withdrawal, you're shaking. You're hiding it from your partner. Like the food I liked eating at baseball games as a kid, when like my dad or my parents, grandparents, whatever would take me to, well they never had those at the at Bush Stadium, but they would always sell the peanuts that had like, you know, the shells on them and like getting like getting all the salt off the shell because every one of those is saturated in salt and then cracking it open and then eating the peanuts. And I liked that you could just make a mess. You could just throw it was like Texas Roadhouse. I would like every fifth or sixth peanut do that. Not every one

because then it would be too salty. I don't care. And that's what I was doing. The salt probably kills the bacteria. And it's in a plastic bag, which means there can't be germs in it. Oh yeah. How old were you? Grade school age. I just remember, I enjoyed that.

Have you been as an adult? I think the last Cardinals game I went to was probably 10 years ago. And so I haven't been in a very long time. They were still they were still good last time I went because I think they won most recently in 2013. But I lived in LA. I was working construction downtown and the GC or the general contractor, he was not the most ethical person out

there when it came to working and everything and how things were built. But he like, he's just grab, grab radio and be like, Hey, let's go to the Dodgers game, because they'd have a day game. And our radios would reach to the stadium to our construction site. So we could hear if there was a problem or something and come back And I don't know if it was because I was supposed to be at work or what but the smell of fresh-cut grass I'm like 85 90 degree day in LA around

12 1 o'clock or whatever and a big corona and a hot dog. I was like dude, this is this is the best I'm getting paid to be here. This is awesome, man. That does right. I love going ham on The like that's gonna seats we got Kyle when we went to the hockey game I have a couple friends who have seats like that. And so we'll go a few times a year. And like there's a clubhouse where like you go and you just load up on like the sliced roast beef and the hot dogs and the brats and the burgers and, and you just like the boxed popcorn and as much beer or soda as you want. And you just like the whole time, if like I finished

eating a hot dog and then like I watch another five minutes of the second period it's like I'm I'm losing money for this guy if I don't get back in there and I don't play to win and I don't make another hot dog and if I don't stand there while the Hispanic laborer takes out the old dish out behind the back of the buffet and then he brings out the new one with all the new dogs. I'm minimum. You were very specific about getting in there for the new dogs.

You said it's time for the new dogs. I said it's time for the new dogs. I got a guy on the inside, he texted me, we gotta go now. It was like right in the middle of the game, we had to go though. It was good. Like really the only time other than like a friend's barbecue I eat hot dogs is at sporting events and I get my fill. I will munch. I can eat a lot of hot. How many what's the most hot dogs you've ever eaten in like a normal sitting like not on an all day cat type sit in like.

I know my number. I'm pulling up the rear. I'll go first too. If I'm if I, if I after this show tonight was going to eat hot dogs and I went to the grocery store and bought them I wouldn't only have to ever had one time I've probably had like, like five or six, like just with hanging with bond obviously and then you know, hopefully you're somewhere where you get those those you get the raw onions on top of it. You can even have, maybe they even have jalapenos. Sauerkraut is always a bonus if they have that.

Like mustard and raw onions. I dice up raw onions, put mustard on there, and that's usually it. And I, five, like five is definitely, I've done that many times. I doubt I've ever eaten six hot dogs. That's a lot of hot dogs. Yeah, but it's worth it. What is it with the buns and the dogs? It's six in the buns and eight in the eight in the buns and six in the hot dog pack. It's two in the pink and

one in the stink is what my bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think if a ton even number. The lowest number of nominators is like 24, I think, if you want to have the same number of dogs and buns. If I'm buying like those bullshit stores, like just regular Hebrew national or like Nathan's Franks, like I could easily eat way more than five or six. But if I'm getting ballpark style Franks, like I would eat like five of those, even as a like 12 year old at a baseball game. If it was offered, they were my dad to keep buying.

You ever make your own sausage? No, I never have. I trust the experts. I got a sausage maker attachment for my KitchenAid. I've been thinking about making some because it's, you know, I like making stuff. I've made my own, like, I can't foray into sausage making. Why not, dude? It'd be great. Look, this is so much more responsible and less fatty than getting into like brewing your own ale or something. I don't wanna do that either.

Right? It'll be like, oh, you wanna brew ale, do you? Ho ho! And it's just like one post after another of these people brewing. How about a disgusting 12% alcohol, double IPA brew? And it's like, no, how about I buy Bud Light at the store? Are you? No, I never left. I never left Bud Light. I've long time ago, I like when I do drink beer, I've switched to Miller Lite as of a while because I had no idea that it's 10% less calories than Coors and Bud Light and they taste exactly the same. It's better. It tastes like it's the exact they all taste the

same for the most part. They don't all taste the same, but it's 10% less calories. Yeah, I like Miller Lite if I'm gonna drink an American beer for sure. But it's 10% less calories. Yeah, I like Miller Light if I'm gonna drink an American beer for sure. And it's light, it's not gonna fill you up, you can still overeat. There was always a six pack of Bud Light in the fridge. My parents would like drink maybe one or two a week or something like that, like after they got home. And every now and then I would sneak one and be like, I'm gonna have myself a beer and I'd be my god what is wrong with you people what is wrong with you people like I remember once I accidentally picked up my dad's and drank out of it because it was in a maybe it was in a cup or something

because I didn't mean to drink it and I was like what the fuck what is this it's I hate Bud Light with such a fiery passion. Light beer just doesn't taste like much. Like that's the- It tastes so strong to me. And the whole point of it is that like, if you're at a baseball game or if you go to a barbecue and your friends having people over all day, you don't want to drink like liquor and you don't want some really strong, like thick, heavy beer

that's gonna weigh you down and like be too strong too quick. Like that's what light beer is for. I understand the purpose of light beer. I said Bud Light. I won't drink Bud Light. That brand, it's gross. And it's gay. I was told by the internet. It is gay, but I'd rather drink gay Bud Light than straight Coors Light. There's something off there. They're not getting all the soap out of the containers or something at the Coors plant. Really? You know, it't heard from a mountain stream. I don't think I've had Coors light in like 10 years.

They call it Colorado. I remember it tasted weird. Wait, you want to if you want a fun story song, Colorado Kool Aid, we can Google that one. It's a favorite light beer. I hate every beer, every alcohol. Everything's terrible. If I never had another drop to drink until the day I die, it would be that much better. I only drink when forced to.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's not his jam. There's nothing I have a moral opposition to, and I do drink when forced to, but I just don't like it. I don't like being drunk. I don't like being hung over very much,

and I never accomplished the good without more of the bad. It's a bad setup for me, and it makes you sad, I'm not down. Yeah, you've got to work at it and be good to enjoy it. That's the thing about alcohol, alcohol that I've found over the years. When they took my marijuana away for, I don't remember how many years I tried to blank them out or maybe the alcohol did that for me.

But I started, I started- All that grand gala. All that grand gala, which is what I like. See, that's me easing myself into enjoying alcohol because I hated it so much. I had to find peach flavored candy liqueur to drink to get drunk. You weren't drinking it the right way. It's orange flavored, actually. You were guzzling a juice glass of grand gala and then being like,

okay, I'm good for hours. And that's not how you're supposed to drink. That's exactly how you're supposed to drink. Yeah, yeah, it was good. And then I switched to my Tito's and I was drinking like too much Tito's and after a while you're like, this isn't so bad. And even beers, I can get to the point where I'm like,

these are pretty good. I was drinking Coors Banquet beer. Ah, yes, the heavy version of Coors of course. Yeah yeah you can get the banquet beer and it comes in these aluminum cans and you can get like an 18 pack for like 14 dollars which seemed like they're giving beer away so I was drinking that beer for a little while too that was pretty good. I remember I knew a guy in college who like even at parties that he was not invited to would show up with like a 24 count of like what he called bankies and then Coors banquets and he would just get trashed carrying around this like giant case by himself. So I doubt that continued after college. But big shout

out to that guy. No idea what he's up to Yeah. Anyway, Richard, you were about to say your favorite beer. Oh, no. I mean, I'm not really a beer drinker. I'm more of a liquor drinker. I usually go bourbon. I like Woodford Jack. Like, oh, I don't like any of that. I always feel like water or ice or anything. I mean, sometimes Mexican Coke, but like, I don't know genetically why, but like I can pace myself on bourbon and I'll get a little tipsy, but I won't get drunk.

Anything else, like even beer, like it just, it makes me full and like, it doesn't make me, I don't know, I just, I can't control that. Like that buzz. If I were just trying to get drunk just trying to be, you'd be Tito's. I would, I would chase some Tito's with orange juice. But if I had to drink a beer, I would probably get some of those bankies. I'd probably get some of those bankies or a, or a,

a dosseki, the green bottle dosseki. Those are good too. Like I haven't had one of those in forever, but if you shove like a lime slice down in it, it just feels festive. Well, I gotta check with Trump, make sure it's still okay to drink those. I'm not sure, but-

He can't stop us. Or he might be able to. We need a PR campaign for Kyle. Like we need to figure this out. Like if it's not done in this show, I think Reddit and the internet needs to embrace coming up with some type of strategic uh position they'll get it done oh no he was charged with additional crimes

inciting a mob of violence oh no all i gotta say is they they took all of Kyle's hard drives, correct? If my man only got charged with what he got charged with after getting all those hard drives, he's fucking crystal clear. That's true. That's 100% true. He was inside the train. At one point they were like, there's a pictured girl here. Who's this girl? I'm like, this is her. I'm like, all right, never mind that. I think they thought maybe the girl might have been underage or something. I had to like, but it was the only thing. And then they tried to act like, you know, our soap making,

I don't want to call it a lab, but studio in the basement was a drug lab. Yeah, like we're making bath bombs, you know, you like compress, like baking soda and a bunch of other fruity shit and make a little sphere that melts down in your bath makes it smell nice and bubble up and everything. We had to test all of those chemicals. I'm like, it's all baking soda. They're all different. They like cut a hole in 50 different bags of baking soda. Like there are some, like, you know, in the movies when they test it and they,

they open a switch blade cut a hole in the side of the bag and taste it. I feel like real investigators saw that growing up and they're like, I want it, I want to do that. Like all holes cut the fucking side of them. But he started this off my knife. Nah, you know, I wouldn't say no to a pardon, but I also wouldn't beg for one either. And I'm, you know. But you don't have to beg.

I think you've done enough for the internet that the internet can take this cause up. Yeah, it would be nice to get a pardon, but again, you know, I doubt it. All right, internet, hit me up. Let's figure this out. How do they contact you, Richard? Yeah, contact me on the internet.

Don't text me on the internet. www.internet.com On the web. You mean email? Trump's had a big week. Trump's had a big week. It's true. Is he going to the game tonight?

No, he's not. He said he's not going to the game. He's not going to the game tonight? That's all he can count on. No, he's not. He said he's not. He's not going to the game. Fuck. Yeah.

Oh, wow. I can imagine going to support our boys who love him. Kyle's pardon shouldn't be dictated by Taylor statements tonight. It should. No, I think that's not approved by the foundation. Woody, do you know what it is that he removed in New York? Like, like, like it's, it was like a, I can't remember what they call it. It's, it's the fee they charge.

Congestion pricing. I tried to Google and understand what congestion pricing meant in New York. And they just gave me like the broad definition of it. But it's all I found in New York was that maybe if you wanted to go to like the South side of the city you had to pay like a nine or $15 toll basically to go there at scan. It was nine but don't quote me on that.

What it is is during peak hours when traffic was the worst the prices were higher and it drove some drivers to take like say public transit for example instead of Specula because the tolls got more expensive they were Disincentivizing people for crowding the roads and I mean my sources I don't know Maybe I live in some liberal bubble like it was working congestion was down public transit was up like it was a solution For reasons I don't understand adding more lanes doesn't solve it.

You've heard that again and again and again. It just increases the traffic and it seems that it's an insatiable demand for traffic. So congestion pricing incentivized people to find a cheaper way to get into the city. And Trump doesn't like it. I don't know why, I saw something about construction near one of his properties was a true motivation,

but maybe people don't know why I saw something about construction near one of his properties was a true motivation, but Maybe people don't like it. I'm not sure but he got rid of congestion pricing. Boom And and then at the end of the tweet he said long DC long lived the king That sounds right. If it's not right, it's really close Okay, and then I don't know if it was earlier before but I believe he tweeted a photograph of himself weren't crown the official White House Twitter account tweeted a picture of, I think it's Time magazine, with him on the cover wearing a crown, not a real A Brutus. Brutus. I heard twice he was offered a kingly crown and twice he turned it down. You know, it'd be great if they could actually start mass deportations instead of

all these bullshit little things. That would be great. My God. That's what we all voted for. We don't want illegals here. Start moving them out in mass. I was talking about the crown though. Oh, I mean like do that's what I mean is like focus on why we voted you in instead of these like weird little petty things. I'm with Taylor but on a different issue. I want actual fraud, right? I

want them to reduce actual fraud in the government. And like, here's my take, give me give me 30 seconds. We were paying like $28 million for Sesame Street in Iraq. If that's not right, it's close. It's something like that over some period of years. And they're like, look at this fraud. Like that's not fraud. You might not like that spending. There's a lot of spending I don't like.

And if you think that's terrible, I see where you're coming from. But it's not fraud. Let's be honest about this. This is a thing that Congress approved. They were trying to win like hearts and minds. They're trying to export American culture. And 28 million is dirt cheap

compared to the trillion dollars we spent on war to accomplish the same thing, exporting American culture. It was a different way to try to do it with the kids and have them grow up and not hate America. But it's not fraud. You just don't like the program. I wish they'd be honest about that and actually go after fraud.

Are there truly a lot of 150 year olds on social security? I love that, let's look into that. Maybe IRS tax sheets, you know, like let's find actual fraud, actual unproductive employees, you know, get rid of them. Like I'm down to make the government, for Doge to do its thing. It's one of the things I was most excited about

in the Trump administration. But instead it just seems to be programs they don't like that they're cutting off, which I don't know. I don't hear her to defend those programs. It's just, they were approved and passed into law. Like any of all these things we're seeing though, like they don't help Americans. And so like, whether it's fraud or not, like I still want it shut down're seeing though, like they don't help Americans. And so like whether it's fraud or not,

like I still want it shut down, but yeah, they should be like, they have a lot more time. They have both houses of Congress. They have the judicial branch and they have the executive branch just pass a better law, pass a better spending bill. They should shut all of that nonsense down and then start rooting out all the corruption they can find. And like you said, the IRS and people exploiting welfare, cheating those systems, which like I can't imagine how much

goes on there. They're auditing Fort Knox. They're going to count the bars. What's the, what's the over? Like what's the line on bars? Well, there's an amount that they're supposed to have. It's thousands of tons of gold that are supposed to be there. I don't remember exactly, but I know that it's thousands of tons. And Elon is like, is all the gold there? I don't know. We'll find out. And they asked Trump, he's like, we're going to count the gold. Every time.

Has it been a long time since we've counted up our gold? Well, the Treasury says they do an audit every year, but like I wanted to go in there and like pick every bar up and scratch it a little and like scan it or something. You know, I wanted somebody, I want somebody there drilling holes through bars with a DeWalt. There's like a, there's like a, one of the, the,

the night guards there has like four Rolexes on. Like he's just. Right. I wonder how it's done. I imagine a forklift where they could accurately measure the weight of the pallet. You know, how would you actually audit all this? I didn't think of Kyle's idea that they'd be replacing the bar with like one that had a lead core. Like I didn't know he was going to do that. How do we get Nicolas Cage to be part of that?

We'll do anything for money. The stealing of the bar. If we give him a third of the gold bar, he'll do ten movies on it. They're stealing the gold. That's lethal weapon. That's Die Hard, Die Hard with a Vengeance. That's Die Hard with a Vengeance, Die Hard 3, which is actually better than Die Hard 2, and some would say better than Die Hard 1.

I'm a purist. I've only seen Die Hard 1. Only Will ever seen that will ever see me tell you Bruce Willis teams up with Samuel L Jackson so here's the deal great that the brother of the terrorist from the first one Hans Gruber his brother Now wants to do two things one get back at John McClane played by Bruce Willis and to steal all the gold and the New York Stock exchange surprisingly there's an enormous amount stored there and so and the New York Stock Exchange. Surprisingly, there's an enormous amount stored there. And so in the New York Stock Exchange, they have these underground vaults. It's the core plot of the point of the movie,

but all that aside, the first, he's planted bombs in schools and he's making John McClane jump through hoops to distract the New York Police Department from his true goal of stealing the golden bars. So one of the things he makes John McClane do, actually the first thing he makes him do is go to Harlem, like the blackest scariest neighborhood in his boxer shorts and nothing else. And he's wearing one of those sandwich boards that you've got like shoulder straps like suspenders.

I've seen this meme. Yeah. So you've got the the board on both sides. And I think it says, I hate ninjas, but it doesn't say ninjas it says that other word what does it say I just told you and he's just and he's out there standing on the street corner just looking terrified it's great that's how the movie begins yeah of all I mean that would be a scary sandwich board to be wearing yeah they're like go wear the sandwich board where we blow up the school and he's out there like, fuck! Depends where though. Because I'd march all around New Hampshire wearing that for, you know, money. Or who's no one's gonna be mad. Yeah, I think that will be. Chicago? Well, they would be

mad but they'd be like tweeting about it. I mean, they try and I have my cool million dollars from whatever racist, eccentric billionaire wanted me to walk around in New Hampshire with that sign on. Yeah, it's a good movie, though. You should you should watch more films. Maybe I'm just not as or Z.

I got a new story first. I got a new TV. First Terminator, second Terminator second. I don't watch Canadian media products anymore. We boycotted them, you know, but but I will recommend a show on Netflix that I think some show time with with called Your Honor. It's got a what's what's his name?

Please Walter White and Breaking Bad. Brian Cranston. Brian Cranston is playing a you got what he got you. He's playing a judge. What do you got you? He's playing a judge in the show, Your Honor. That's fair. And the judge's son hit and runs a mob boss's son and kills him. And the judge is helping him cover this murder up. And it's so stressful.

Every episode, I'm just like, the fuck they're gonna get him. Fuck, they're gonna get him. They're always on the verge of ruining this, because the son's terrible at hiding the crimes, and the dad's a judge and a smart guy to boot, and he's great at hiding these crimes, but he has to deal with the knucklehead son, and meanwhile the mob is hunting them down to murder them. It's really good, and Bryan Cranston's great.

It reminded me so much of Walter White though. Your honor. Your honor. Yeah you'll get hooked from the very first episode. The first episode, the first scene of the first episode is is great. It's a it's a really good show. I ended up binge watching way too much of it. That and Baldur's Gate has all my time. Have you seen Patriot? The Mel Gibson movie? No no, no the Amazon Prime series from like 2017 2018 Haven't heard about CIA Not your non-official cover. It's like I less I've absolutely loved that series

It sucks because it didn't get picked up for a third season or they just decided on a really yeah Do I would love if I could get the rights to it do a crowdfunding for it or something like let's let's do it. Mindhunters is the other one that didn't get picked up. Really? Is it good? I think that's David Finch. Wait hang on. Mindhunters on Netflix tremendous. It's two seasons and it's the early days of the FBI's behavioral criminology unit Basically that someone was like maybe we should figure out Why they're breaking the law and so they started going to prisons and interviewing guys like Ed Kemper and other serial killers

They caught to try to understand the psychological makeup of those types of serial killers. They coined the phrase serial killer, those investigators do. And it's really good. It's a team of like a woman and there's a woman who thinks a psychologist and then a younger FBI guy and then like an older gristle, like more of a taken behind the building and beat the confession out of them kind of guy. And they're, it's really good. Mine hunters is great. That's I've watched a little bit of that, but I didn't finish the series. David Fincher. Yeah, I was right. It's, it was, um, it's direct. He just died. Didn't he?

Um, did he? Did he not? Am I thinking of a different director? Man when I try and foray into entertainment He just died. There was some guy named lynch lynch. Yeah director. Yeah, that's david lynch I don't like his movies and tv shows. They're weird. He's the guy who just died then never mind I'm sure david fincher is alive and well shows. They're weird. He's the guy who just died then. Never mind. I'm sure David Fincher is alive and well. He is. I think he's the one who did like seven fights. You know? Yeah, seven. And like fight. He does the really dark gritty stuff. So he did a great job with that TV show. But yeah, your honor's great. John Krasinski is great. Highly recommend that. That's my pick of the week.

Randomly. You know, because I know I'll be bouncing here in a minute. I wanted to chat with you guys because last time you had brought up lock and load. And you brought up brought up Derek to me and I've talked to Derek a few times since and everything. So has anybody done any like, unofficial scientific analysis of volume. Like volume comparison. So I know that I and I have done a little back of the napkin math on it. Pretty obvious. I did a back of the girl comparison.

The ball is like triple. I bought a chemistry set. I legit bought the freaking Amazon like you got beakers and shit. Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly. Erlemeyer Flask or whatever they are. I put it over a Bunsen burner, but it just smells mad.

Erlemeyer Flask. Yeah. So, Erlemeyer Flask. So it was like, I have to set up this like systematic thing where it's like, you don't like, you don't get off for like three days leading up to it and then you take it like for two months and keep measuring it up until that point and it worked.

Baby, do we need a test tube in our relationship? Yeah, shut up. Yeah, but to be fair, there's probably some variables to take into consideration there, like hydration is probably a key component to it. Your diet. Yeah, for sure, but all in all, over a period of time, into consideration there, like hydration is probably a key component to it. But yeah, for sure. But all in all, over a period of time, there is a measurable distance. And I thought you guys would appreciate the pseudo scientific effort I put in on that.

When we were coming up with the formula, I did this. Before we had the product, we just had these white bottles of pills. And no, even before that, it was just when Taylor and I were coming up with the formula and we had eight bottles of pills that we were just taking independently every day in addition to my 17 other pills I take a day. And I was coming in condoms and then tying a knot in it and then extracting all the semen with a syringe. And that way, the syringe has the milliliter marks on the side. So I'm able to measure exactly how much and take notes. I think I ended up at like 10 milliliters or something like that toward the end.

Which was like triple or something like that where we started. And during that time I was on a very regimented hydration and diet program. So I felt like those were good scientific results that I came up with. And they were proud of Lock and Load. I'm proud of what we've done. I'm going to show you guys a commercial here. So it's one of the very first things I'm going to do with that robot over there. Yeah. That's great. We need a spokesman now, like a hot celebrity. I'm not gonna tell you what I'm gonna do, but it's not gonna be, you know, it's gonna be funny. It's gonna be funny.

Good. I'm excited. I'm really excited. We'll play it on the show and we'll promote it and we'll use that to get even more people on the path of truth and big loads. Because that's what you need. And you're right, they work. Chris, how are you? Good. How are you?

Oh, doing solid. Richard Ryan's and Chris James, not a last name amongst our guest lineups. Nope. Yeah, we're just talking about coming and how important it is to maximize your come. Richard is a longtime lock and load fan. He has big loads. You don't have to ask him. Ask anyone he knows. And so how are your loads?

I haven't been load maxing quite as hard, but I think I need to work on that. That's good. We'll get you a bottle with... You're going to have to pay for it. We'll get you a link. That's what we're gonna start doing. Be like, we're gonna send you one. Just send them a link. We're gonna buy it. Who did I do that to? We had somebody on there like, oh man, that's great. I'd love to try some of that.

I'm like, oh, no problem, man. No problem. Zach, could we get Harley a link to our website? Harley did. Harley bought some lock and load. He supports us. Nice. But what is new with you, Chris? Obviously, you're excited about the USA, Canada game. Goes without saying. Yeah, goes without saying. Not much same old, same old excited about the USA Canada game. Goes without saying. Yeah, it goes without saying.

Not much. Same old, same old. Probably the same that it was when I was on here, however long ago, but just watching TV shows and making sarcastic, obvious remarks. And then posting a gig and making a living. Yeah. Is anyone in any of the shows you're watching been arrested for deviancy in recent times? It's probably like half of Pawn Stars. I don't know. Like that one's given. I know that like Chum Lee,

I know he's been in hot water. Chum Lee is in trouble. He was in various different troubles. I think it was like there might have been. I know one was drugs. I'm pretty sure I don't want to go out and like make accusations, but I think there was like some porn shit with him. Like illegal porn shit? Illegal porn. Yeah, not the legal stuff. I think though that might have just been someone in my comments, so I don't know. And it just stayed back here for months until this conversation.

But I think he might've. That's just me. I don't know. Tom Lee's Wikipedia page. Did you guys see that woman who had sex with a thousand people in a day is pregnant? Yeah. Who would've thought?

I don't believe her. I do and I'll tell you what, I'm surprised it's just one kid. Cause I Googled it. Apparently the pill is 93% effective. So she should have had 70 children by my man. Don't you tell me my math is wrong. You can't just say no. You have to say why. Because well, I'm no statistician but Goddamn you goddamn you

93% I don't believe her. I think she's a fucking liar. Look, that's how you get. Yeah, I think she's is by making outrageous claims I don't think she fucked the thousand guys did she there's no way I think what she did Yeah, cuz because what she did was she fucked like 20 or 50 or 100 guys one day and they did that on camera But and then she attempted to do a thousand I thought she like tapped out failed something happened went wrong like I didn't think she completed the 1000 guy fucks fucks Oh, that's two different women. There's a hundred Pores, okay. Well then this girl accomplished 1000 men. I still don't believe she's pregnant. I do know that the thousand one when the documentary crew came in

like interview her, they were like gagging at the foul stench of this room. It was like the cameraman had to leave. He was about to throw up. Yeah, it would be if she actually fucked a thousand guys, which I don't believe that for a second. I believe Kyle's correct.

That's a an attention grab. But if she actually fucked a thousand dudes, number one, think about the kind of men who are like in line from 700 to a thousand. I saw in like the documentary, it was just a bunch of guys in ski masks. It was terrifying. Well, they're all they've all invented and tested if that makes you feel any better and you would think they turn away and you're real smelly people but clearly not. You can imagine that conga line of guys like trying to keep just edging because you don't want to be there taking up all of it.

It's not about the conga line I picture all the men holding each other's hips. They're fluffing each other. The spirit of brotherhood. Your train doesn't count. That's fucking disgusting. It would smell terrible in there. You got a thousand different people's sweat and bodily fluids everywhere and she's there looking like she just got just ran through a car wash like that's disgusting yeah that's very foul that what if she did do it it would have to be a gimmick of like they all do one pump or something and then they go jack off in the corner. And it's like, they just spent their whole Saturday to do that. You got it backwards. They've been jerking off since, you know, you schedule them all at different times because you don't want a thousand guys

to show up at 8am. You want 50 guys and then 50 more at 9am, etc. The fast pass at Disney World. This makes sense. The fast pass at Disney World. Exactly. It's just the same. Your dick just starts to bite. Oh shit, it's my turn, I gotta get in there. Sorry, nice meeting you. And you put your ski mask back on, put your cigarette out real quick. Yeah, I guarantee it smells like cigs in there.

Oh, big time. You have like a suicidal Honduran maid coming in afterward. Oh no. Now you wouldn't want to jump in on that. What if I could promise you you're in the top 100? No, 100. That's so gross. What? That's disgusting. You wouldn't do it either.

100s a lot. I got a lot of that's a lot of mess. You know, if they had a giant vat of my favorite, like ice cream flavor, and they had a thousand people in line, and they were all going to like take a bite with the same spoon, I wouldn't get in that line.

That's gross. Yeah, I wouldn't share the spoon with these people. Much less. It was like a bar glass that just didn't get washed for a week. It's just the same bar glass. They keep refilling it with beer and sending it back on the on the bar.

They just dump the old beer, put new beer in. Then I got the last 10 like the last 10. She's got to be like that meme of Roger from American Dad and he's like hooked up to all the pumps. Like at that point, you're not even like a person for the rest of the day. Yeah, you're just like, like, how do you go get dinner that night as her? I've never been fucked by 10 guys in a day. And you're let alone a thousand.

No, no. Ten is a lot. Believe it or not. Like fucking ten people on one day is absurd. A thousand. It's just an unbelievable number. No, there's no way you would need probably harder than 100. I feel like if you did ten, you'd try to like do it properly. But at 100, you know, we're just making a show out of this. harder than a hundred. I feel like if you did ten you'd try to like do it properly but at a hundred

you know we're just making a show out of this. You're supposed to do most of this pre-game. Yeah yeah yeah absolutely. You're taxing on your like your soul, your human spirit like there's just no way that you're coming out of that. Laura Ingalls Wilder or something like that? Dude if you okay how about this you get molested in prison by one guy you're feeling pretty bad now it's a thousand guys well you're coming out of there like am i do i exist molestation is not cumulative taylor jesus you know that imagine the hangover milo says it is the third one's nowhere near as bad as the first one. Yeah, you're weird. Second one. That's the worst. You wouldn't think it. Second one's the worst. Yeah, I think I think you're on the

money. This is made up. There's no way this **** **** a thousand people. That's the picture of her pregnant. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can get pregnant. I had it pregnant like inside of her belly next to the like zygote. Did you see it? This is the 100 Guys Chicks Act linked it. She's pretty pregnant. Which if you think about the timing, I still Zygote did you see it? This is the hundred guys chick Zach linked it. She's pretty pregnant Which if you think about the timing I still don't believe it She's like it's probably a fake baby bump like that. I might be what did she bang a hundred guys?

She looks seven months pregnant It wasn't long a good long enough ago for her not to have been pregnant during it By the looks of her bump if it is like that's I saw someone on Twitter say that they were like, if she really is pregnant, looking how far along she is and think about how far back it was where she did it, it doesn't add up very well. Four months or something. When you know the Amy Schumer story. So Amy Schumer famous, Amy Schumer, famous, fat, ugly comedian, um, who

steals jokes, um, everybody, ugly comedian who steals jokes. Everybody was ripping on her super hard on the internet, because she gained a lot of weight and her face was getting real big. And somebody was like, she looks like you've got Cushing syndrome. And everybody's like, yeah, she does. And it's like, turned out she did have Cushing syndrome. So she had to get that fixed,

but I don't think they got her face fixed. But it's funny because she just did this movie. I think it's on Netflix. I didn't watch it, but I saw like parts of it where She's got a fake baby bump like she's got a thing strapped on Her character does her character is faking being pregnant for some reason But her face is so fat that she just looks like an obese woman Like like like she just looks like a beast woman. Like she just looks like an obese woman. I don't know if you're pregnant or fat. Your face is so fat.

She got all eat up by the Cushing syndrome. I went to school with a girl whose mom had that. She was all eat up by it. She was riddled. Her face was- Riddled with it? What does it do? It makes you turn into Amy Schumer?

I don't know if the disease is what, yeah. It makes you- It makes you really funny. It makes you funny? It makes what yeah, yeah, it makes you. It makes you really funny. It makes you funny. Makes you fat. Yeah, it's awful. Pull up a Zach shit because I look up body shame, Amy Schumer. Because when she is.

Yeah, we don't do that. You don't do that here. Me too. But if you but if you Google like Amy Schumer. Let's go back talking about that whore fucking the thousand guys, which if ever there was an appropriate use of that word, it's here. I mean, I mean, she was paid. Yeah, she's an entrepreneur.

She's not doing it for the love of the game. I bet she made a ton of money. Like I'm still confused about which girl is which. It's just different horse fucking vast amounts of men. Yeah, it's a real puffy face. You know, it's not her fault. She she eats like a bird. There's also like if you go back to my videos two years ago, that's exactly what I looked like

But you don't have the cushings you are no, I'd no excuse. I just drink and eat a lot. You're really passing now It's a hockey doll. Thank you. She does look a little Yeah scary Any not a funny person so does that mean that Canada is up one to nothing on the US in this Game of games. Is that what I'm reading here? We're seeing Taylor fact-check well, I've been any had there been any fights yet as I I can see Let me see. I'm just gonna

Have it is no penalties in the game so far. So oh I'm just gonna have a few. There's no penalties in the game so far, so. Oh, okay, well that's okay. This is just gonna make our eventual victory all the sweeter when they go out to an early lead nine minutes in and then we come back. We have to win, come on, come on. That would be so awesome if we beat Canada

in this tournament. Have we beaten them twice? We beat them once. We've only played them once in this tournament. And so- And I misunderstood. For some reason, I thought they won four, two. I guess they won three, one. Oh, we won three, one.

Yeah. Oh, I guess I meant they isn't the team, not Canada. Oh, yeah. No, it's us until they lose, Woody. It's- My bad. When you're right, you're right. Yeah, I say I corrected.

If we lose eight to nothing, then it's them. Then it's them, more traitors to our nation. And then, I knew Trump is gonna toss in Guantanamo for not wanting it enough. And if they do lose, I think a great deal of the blame falls on Trump for not bringing his kingly aura there to guide them. We need to tariff hockey players going forward. We do, what can we tariff them to make it? We could incentivize.

Well, I don't think you'd want to tariff as much as you want to incentivize getting them over here, like offer them a really easy path to real citizenship, yet maybe hook them up with all sorts of tax breaks for their first year or two of salary or something like that. You could if Trump had a mind to do it, he could milk Europe of all their talent. Right? Yeah, we could do that for sure. 100%.

I wish he was a big sports fan. Kind of what we do. It's what the NHL is. Yeah, I guess so. There's a higher percentage of Americans all the time. It's not like what it used to be. We got a lot of the top players. We were talking about before this,

but I was watching CPAC today. I don't even know what CPAC is. Do you know what it stands for? I'd have to look, once I read it, I'll remember. I think it's a conservative- Political Action Conference. Did you read that? No, I'm guessing. It is right.

No, that'm guessing. No, that's perfect. I looked it up. That's what it looks like too. Elon Musk was there. They bring out Elon Musk. And he's dressed like, I don't know, like a hacker villain, I guess. I took Rapstar from...

Hacker villain rapper. Yeah, hacker villain rapper. Like a rapper who's with Zona is being an evil hacker. I said before the show He looked like a gta 5 custom character All your cool He's wearing like I think he's wearing chains and he's got mirrored glasses and he's got a dark maga hat He's got a blazer and um, then javier malay Yeah, it was like some goofy ass outfit then javieray, the president of Argentina, I think, who's famous for waving around a chainsaw during his campaign talking about cutting the budget in his country, which has

gone pretty well from what I've seen. He comes on stage with like a fancy chainsaw, like it's pimped out, like it's a, somebody pimped this chainsaw the fuck out of it, it's ridiculous looking, and he presents it to Elon Musk, who then starts running around the stage like a child who's been given a toy, and I swear to God, as the audience hoops and hollers and claps, he goes, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, hollers and claps, he goes, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run,

run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, At the top. I don't know what its purpose is. It's some kind of kickback lever or something. I don't know exactly But it's like you can see it's like customized fancy ass chainsaw that he no doubt paid for and had constructed himself

Then gave the Javier and said give this to me later You want me to do this? It's pretty gay You want me to do this? It's pretty gay Yeah, why you should this word that's more that's more elegant and then he did 40 minutes about Doge and but budget-cutting You know sitting there being interviewed and he's very Cringy throughout the whole thing. It's it's hard to watch. It's hard to watch it His public speaking hasn't improved more so bad. It's gotten worse. Yeah. Yeah.

If anything, he's like stuttering more. I saw a clip right before I jumped in of him from that. And I don't know who he's talking to, but he says, I am meme or I've become meme. Yes. And he says it a few times. And he's like, it's just, it's become meme. Like, and you know, he can't talk.

He's got a mouth full of marbles. He really wants the audience to appreciate that as like something cool that he just came up with and like, laugh, I have become meme, get it, get it. It's like a time capsule from like 13 years ago for like what was cool for a certain amount of people and he just stayed there. Yeah, he just locked in to-

He's making an Oppenheimer reference and he thinks it's silly and fun and he wants everyone to laugh along with him and most of them aren't getting it and the rest of them just only gets that clever. Well, he's also engaging with like an expert piece of advice from public speaking, which is if you say a joke and people don't laugh, say it five more times. I said it five more fucking times and keep hammering it until people laugh just to get you to move on.

And especially when he like ends every sentence with, I don't know. I said, I said, because because 68, nine, get it? 68, nine ate the number. Numbers, of course, cannot eat one another. And so this is very humorous. Well, you see, the primary crux of the joke is that numerals don't engage in consumption the way we do as humans and it's like stop it. Just be better. You can't hire one guy to eat. First of all hire me Elon because you need a no man in your circle

because everybody else is going to be going yes man stuff and he's going to be like so what do you guys think about i i'm considering uh giving this chainsaw to javier malay and he'll give it to me on stage and all his little sycophants would be like yes elon do it and i'd be like elon that's the gayest shit you've said for half an hour like easily so don't do that don't go out there and take that. Were you going to wear that out there? What do you do? You have a wallet chain on. Take that off.

None of that. OK. You just really the Velcro tear. I'm trying to be relatable to the people. You know, he dresses like he dresses like Mr. Beast. Does he? If you've ever seen Mr. Beast, like especially on his new game show, it's always like a hoodie and a blazer and It's like what a very specific eight-year-old think is the coolest outfit like on the planet is what mr. Beast wears That's like mr. Beast. I saw a tweet like two years ago. That's burned into my brain that said he is like

What an eight-year-old thinks is the coolest person on the planet. Yeah, because he's got, you know, a bunch of mazes that he lets people run through and whatnot. I always wanted to. Didn't you? I don't know about you, but growing up as a kid, I always wanted like secret passageways in my house because in the movies when like Harry Potter style, when they'd like move a bookcase and it would reveal like a secret tunnel or something. And every now and then on Reddit, I see the best parent in the world has made his little girl like

a secret fairy princess hideout in like some like leftover room of their house that's now hidden behind a gateway that they have to go through that's all sparkly and tunneled up. I want that so bad. I still want it. I still want to see. I know a gun guy who has one. In the back of his closet, the wall is false. That wall pops out when you pull it a certain way, and a staircase leads down to an underground room that you wouldn't know is there. And that's like, you know, there's lots of stuff down there.

All of his guns are down there, scary guns. I have the worst secret room in the world. So one of our bedrooms has a closet and then the closet has a little hidden door to a smaller closet. I don't know what it's for. It's not for access to like HVAC or utilities or anything. I don't know why it wouldn't just be a bigger closet.

Why do you need a door to the other part of the closet that's like three feet tall? I don't know. And it's just like hidden and you can't really see it unless you know it's there. The thing is, I think somewhere in this house's history, someone would smoke there. So if you go, even though we've owned this house

for like over a decade now or something In that closet closet. It smells like cigarettes and it sucks No, it's not No, I like the room though because someone was pulling the wool over their family's eyes for a while. Yeah There was some teenager living there in 1979 or something like that spoken who knows knows what. It's the greatest one. Do you know the story of the Winchester house? Not at all. I can't wait to hear about it,

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you were about to tell us about the winchester house oh yeah so um winchester rifles firearms company you've heard of i'm sure sure the lady who inherited all that money, she felt tremendously guilty about the Winchester rifles and how they had killed so many people or their families. They're good rifles. Yeah, they're great. Killed the shit out of an Indian. And I think she felt terrible about that.

And she also believed in the spirit world. And she believed that she might be haunted by like the victims of her firearm company's guns. And so she built her house in such a way as to confuse goblins and ghouls who might be haunting her. So this house she built, she continuously was adding on rooms. It was under construction for decades. It never ceased. She was always adding new rooms These aren't necessarily additions or wings and no physically they are but functionally they are Dead ends they are Rooms that go nowhere. There are hallways that that's probably not an exit. You know, I mean an exit. You know what I mean? She's getting lost. The idea was so that the ghosts would get lost if they were trying to haunt her in this house. That's so wild. To believe

in ghosts, but also have such little respect for them. Why would they get lost? They've got nothing to do all day, but float around. Right. If she can figure out her way around, they live there too. Yeah. They would just watch where she goes and then like how she never exited to the giant door with the exit sign over it. They wouldn't either. Like that's, I know that's walls. Or can they not go through them? No ghost busters. All right. These are like, these are 1850s ghosts. They have no concept of going through walls

They they use doors and such that's a door is locked See see all of our like the lore behind our goblins and ghouls are vampires and werewolves and such was written by people Hundreds and hundreds of years ago. They had no concept of such things. They're all sort of They're all sort of thrown off by doors. What a stressful house. Did everyone else instantly see the lower 48 in that shape? Yeah, look at that. It does look like the lower 48. Oh yeah, it does kind of. Oh, you guys, okay.

She may have done it intentionally. If anything, it looks a little more like China. Motherfuckers. Motherfuckers. It's the China house. I hope the ghost is a potter. She's fucked if a ghost is a calligrapher because then they're gonna be like wait I'm noticing a pattern. This is looking familiar. And now Kyle what science are you basing the fact that ghosts in 1850 could not face through walls as opposed to the ghosts of today? I have a cursory knowledge of demonology. You know, I've been watching a bunch of superhero movies. You know, I do that.

And ghost adventures. I watch a little ghost adventures. That's how I know that fraud has been legalized in the United States. Is that this actually seems like something, Chris, you would you probably watch ghost shows. Do they believe that they can phase through walls? Is that a precaution they take? You know what? seems like something Chris you would you probably watch ghost shows do they believe that they can phase through walls is that a precaution they take you know what actually maybe not because it's never reference and it's always

references if they're like they have to walk around like they have to abide by our laws of physics that's yeah the the ghost hunters have never found a ghost they intentionally use old shitty Audio and video equipment that catches Anomalies and weird things it's it's interference and and that you know that they have these things called orbs that they catch It's whenever a dust particle approaches just close enough to your lens Depending on the aperture or whatever, and the lights going through it, you get, you've probably seen it in old photographs, dust will look like this glowing little orb or something. It's not a fucking spook, it's dust. They're such

fraudsters, such scam artists, and they do it for, it's not like they had the one special. History Channel or Discovery, I don't remember which, did this thing about mermaids. They had the one like one special history channel or discovery. I don't remember which did this thing about mermaids. They had a whole special one night about mermaids are real. Question mark. And they led the viewer on for an hour or something like with their mermaid proof to the guy to the air. They're like, who knows? Probably not, though.

And who's to say? Not me. I tried to make mermaid scientific in the beginning. They were they were showing like humans who were living in like the coral and like like fishing out there who had been driven away from like the good hunting grounds who slowly became fish people over time. It was crazy, but it was presented like, I don't know, like Alexander the Great's history or something.

And I left for that entire hour. my parents were sat on that couch. I was, I was in a hotel room. I was traveling across the country. The hotel room is often where those shows are watched. Yeah. Me and a girl were sitting there with bated breath again, but mermaids real. Is this, are we going to find out tonight that Merm that there are mermen out there and mermaids?

No, no. That's it. You can tell they're not because like it wasn't being interrupted by like a presidential address where they're like, you caught us. We've been hiding mermaids this whole time. Trump would do that. Like Biden, I don't think he would address that they were mermaids. He'd let who, I don't know, whoever handles mermaids, cryptids and such handle the press conference.

Trump went, we got them for years. The seas have been plagued by mermen and so-called mermaids. Have you not made? Let me tell you, dirty girls, dirty girls. Let me tell you, you wouldn't guess that they've got nice pussies. They're not like they're real pussies. You think it would smell like fish? Doesn't smell like fish. Blew my mind.

It would smell like fish. It would be half fish. It would absolutely. They're all fish diets, seemingly. What else are they eating out there? And it'd be a terrible body to go through. It'd be a terrible upper body to have in the sea. Because you have a bullshit human mouth.

Like everything in the sea goes hard with what their mouth can do and their jaws and their eating. Or they like supplement it with like a crab. Like- You're still a man on the top. You know, you're a merman. You have a tail that allows you to swim

and the gills allow you to breathe, but you'll still have your hands, which are the best tool ever. And a trident, I'm imagining. I always see those guys with tridents. But they wouldn't be able to actually make tridents. You wouldn't be able to go very quick. It's not a very hydrodynamic swimming position, right?

To have like a trident in your arms forward. Yeah, you'd get fucked up by anything that wanted to catch you. I'm imagining some sort of sea beast carrying me around most of the time. When I'm, my tail is for moving around the same way my feet are riding a giant moving around water About you know, like I I walk around my house But I don't like open the door and start running every time I need to go to the store

So by the same rights, I'm a man you do what like like an NPC in a video game I like I run at the store sprint down to the black in the red aisle where the doors closed and i just keep running anyway with my feet losing traction i imagine like a chariot i imagine like a chariot pulled by like some sort of game fish that's like really fast like like marlin or giant tuna and we're just fucking you see that's our personification of what the mermaid would be like but in real life life, they would be backwards savages. Like they wouldn't be able to have discovered metallurgy or anything. They'd just be, they wouldn't have cool tridents. They wouldn't have chariots. We have to deal with the surface dwellers. That's why you've heard of us. Because we don't have metallurgy, but we have our

own brand of underwater technology and knowledge. It the science is also to speak. It says they're doing the secret to the deep, if you will. Uh, but, but we do need, you know, metallurgy from up top because you can't really do, I guess we could make some sort of air bubble down there, right? Like they, we have aquariums up here. Why couldn't they make an air bubble down there and do some metallurgy?

Also, they do have metallurgy figured out. That's how we got trinites. Hmm. From the mermaid. They gave us that tag. They lost that. I don't think that's true. No, we'd hunt them to extinction. We'd definitely kill them because I always say like there's a we're the only one I'm around. Yeah, that just seems like a needless risk. Get them out of charges. I was going for it. What are they doing down there? Yeah, I'd want to put them in sea world with all those other miscreant animals that's i always deserve to be imprisoned

poor not really all those stupid beautiful creatures those beautiful creatures that should be enjoying their like 98 year lifespan in the sea but but instead some fat Oklahoma and is throwing peanuts into their enclosure. Those whales the size of a bus. Yeah. In that tank. Well, there's the one there was that one orca who like Killamook has a death count. It can be only five different trainers. And it's like, stop fucking with them.

Like, just let him go. He's clearly not game for this. Yeah, a killer whales never get one to one tide in the hockey game. In the hockey game, yeah. Yeah, an orcas never killed a human in the wild. I think there's only one orca that's ever killed. That's because they're sly.

There's no way that's true. They were sinking boats and I think the Mediterranean or Greece, off Greece or something like that. And then the people would fall in the water and then the orcas are Like fuck you stay out of here and they'd swim away Like if you what I watched an orca kill a big shark the other day

And it if it didn't fight it like an animal it fought it like a thinking Individual it only blindsided it and broke its ribs And then it would just like circled away and watched and then it would come in and like take a nibble and then Dart away real quick like it tested it. It didn't want to take any damage. It made sure the shark was Crippled and then it grabbed the shark and took it down deep and then that was it. It was gone It was a big shark. It was like it wasn't like some little it was the or said on YouTube. I Saw on a reddit or YouTube one of the other. It was fucking cool. But yeah, they've only killed people once.

And it was that one individual who killed his trainers. Cause you know, he didn't want to be a prisoner anymore. Yeah. And it's understandable. Poor guy. Did you see the Steve Bannon possible Nazi salute? No. Here I am.

I'm going to link it. It's only,'s only 12 seconds. And you can tell me if this is exactly show it with volume. If this is like everyone's put their hand in the air at one point, you know, they showed still photos of like every Democrat with an arm in the air. If it's that or if it's an actual Nazi salute. Go ahead. Like, oh, okay. Okay. I'm afraid I'm biased and you can tell me what you think.

I think he's knowingly leaning into it with volumes. Yeah. That they win as we retreat and we're not going to retreat. We're not going to surrender. We're not going to quit. Fight, fight, fight. Amen. Fight, fight! Amen!

So it's a, our Zach shows videos at eight frames per minute. What did you see? I got the gist. But yeah, like was. They brought his hand down. It's intentional, right? I don't know. He brought his hand down pretty quick.

Maybe he realized it could be bad optics. I don't know. I've never done that. Right. Yeah, I don't wave that way. I don't I don't throw a straight. I'm not going to do it, but I don't throw a straight arm. I just do it like, oh, fuck. Half hearted Nazi salute, like he didn't do the full chest thing and really lean into it. I could see the leaning into like the

how it's like a thing right now. And not like fully admitting it's weird from him because he hates Musk and he has this open outward public hatred of Musk wants him out of the government, calls him all sorts of the kinds of names that you don't say to a guy that you plan on making up with.

Like like he's he's full on like never musk or you might even say. But then because if he if he weren't that if he especially if he were a musk ally and he did that, I would view it in that scenario as this sort of cutesy leaning into it. Leave the guy alone. It's just a fucking hand gesture kind of move like that priest did. that ain't him that ain't what's going on here that's that's a bad look why'd he do that why did he do that he does a straight arm right like that was straight that might have been straighter than Musk's Musk did it longer yeah that might have been more accurate form like wave out kind of thing it and and I didn't like that salute No, that's not a good look

Like like man, what did he say about it? I? Kyle is what? He said say god that you, that would, you know, that would answer right there. Germans. I don't know what he meant by that. How do we interpret this? She better said today, Google doesn't show anything about the nuts, you know, him talking about it.

Yeah. God damn it. Man. I don't, I don't like that. I, you know, I should be more on guard. This is how Woody feels when he sees a blue haired fat person saying we're going to resist. We're going to fight them in the street.

Right. It's like, oh, get off my team. You're kind of being like, you're not helping me. I have an AK-46 assault rifle and I know how to use it. So he, he hates Musk? Yeah, he rips on him on his radio show almost daily. It's not subtle or like he by name, he hates Musk. Okay. That's the major rift I would say in the Republican Party

if there is one. It isn't the fabricated one that comes from Reddit and the left that like, people regret their choice, their eggs are expensive. And meanwhile, dudes are like, I didn't like eggs anyway, cut it all, fucking cut it all. Here's how I take it. So when Biden was like this deep into his term, a lot of people were like,

clear the liberals will regret it by now. And what we actually thought, if you want to paint me as liberal is well i'm gonna agree with everything but by and large you know i feel like he's on the right track and i think that's how the the trump guys are right now like do i think every single thing he did is great no was is he still the guy i'd vote for again yes i think that's yeah i just stand so you get a lot of like wish casting when it comes to like people desiring their opponents to be regretful immediately. They're like, oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, they now they know for sure that Biden's a senile old man.

No, they don't. They're saying he's like with until the debate, not until the debate there. Yeah. Like a month before the debate, like Washington Post posted, they made some article where it's like, staffers are saying they have difficulty keeping up with Biden. He's so spry. And it's like, yeah, it's because he's getting lost in supermarkets. He's the only one on a bike. Yeah. And then like, with stupid stuff like this, like, Musk and Bannon, like, they should at least like Bannon, 100%. Like Musk, I can see being an autist who was like doing a ridiculous salute,

but Bannon is like, he's been in the news cycle for this. He knows that even the, like even a vague appearance of this is going to be labeled Nazi shit. And so why do that? Like why, why not spread your, did he spread his fingers at least? At least spread your fucking fingers. He clicked his heels.

He clicked his heels. The whole Nazi thing. He clicked his heels. Yeah. Yeah. And then I don't, I just don't get- I was like, I need these guys to sane check me. I've made up a track.

Because their behavior is not that of a Nazi. They're like so supplicant to Israel. Elon has Jewish kids. What the Nazi thing, and like, Nazism is about a lot more than hating Jews. Though the Nazis we're familiar with just happened to hate Jews. It's not like in their creed or anything. It was just the problem. That was a big part of it. No, I don't think it was. I think that Nazism, if you look up the exact definition, has way less to do with specifically hating Jews and way more to do with authoritarian fascism and controlling certain parts of industry and the government nationalizing things and locking down free speech,

etc. But I think it has, I think those are the core tenets of Nazism, not necessarily hating Jews. And I think that's what you're, that's where we get this sort of weird discrepancy where it's like, wait a minute, these people love Israel, but are seemingly Nazis. That's impossible. And it's like, no, it's not actually. It's very possible that there are Nazis at the weeping wall. industries and authoritarianism and a crushing approach towards speech, that applies to way more than you would be calling communist Nazis. If you look at the Jewish thing through the lens of like, you know, we identified a group of others and then blamed all our problems on them, then it starts to fit the MAGA mold a little better. It's just Mexicans this time. No, no, it's not Mexicans. It's like illegals, like trying to get illegals out of our- Mostly Mexicans, but sure, illegals. It just happens to end up where they're from.

Like, that's something I really don't see as like an honest comparison I see, where they're like, huh, these people wanted to round up Jews and throw them in camps. And you- You don't see that as, we just made a camp. I'm saying that it's absurd to say that rounding up Jewish citizens in Germany and throw them in camps. And you don't want to live. We just made a camp. I'm saying that it's absurd to say that rounding up Jewish citizens in Germany and locking them up and stealing all their assets in this, like they were, they were German citizens too, or Polish citizens in many instances,

like comparing that to a nation wanting to deport illegals who don't belong there and who siphon off of their resources. Like that's absurd. Like serious countries don't allow people to break in and then take advantage of them like an economic vacation that harms their citizens. Like that's, it's totally sane to want this problem handled. And it doesn't mean that you hate Mexicans or you hate Hondurans. We just want them to not be here. They don't belong here. The Nazis fucking hated Jews. Like they kind of blamed them for a lot. Some would say too much. I think that racism was a core tenet of Nazi Germany, but I think nationalism was an equal tenet. And I think it's the nationalistic part of Nazism that you see intermixed with people who are very much in favor of Israel and Zionism in a lot of cases.

I think that the racism is not it. I don't think they're racist, I think they're nationalist, and it's that nationalist drive that attracts them to sort of Nazi-ist ideals. Not just ideals though, but because God damn it, they keep doing salutes. They keep doing actual Nazi salutes. It's not like they're like, I don't know, Hitler had this one policy. I wish Maga would adopt.

And something I've been saying for 10 years now is like, hey, keep in mind that someday the powers that you're giving your government will belong to the people you hate the most, right? Imagine President Hillary, right? Imagine President Hillary comes along, then the new powers that the executive branch has to just completely get rid of all the nonpartisan people and replace them with loyalists is gonna look yucky

when President Hillary does the same thing, When that becomes the new transition every time and we get rid of sort of what we're supposed to be honest actors and put in your loyalists. You know if this is the way that it goes every time you won't like it next time. Democrats famously never utilize the same like when you see like what the right does when they're in power versus the left, the left never takes advantage of anything like any power they have. They know they don't they don't try to jail. They were like the dates and pull them off.

And like what's just happened in the last barely month is like nothing the Democrats would have like ever taken advantage of. They just they don't they they get into power and then they say, well, shit guys, we only have two thirds of the government or the entire government. What are we supposed to do? They wouldn't like, they wouldn't like openly try to remove an opposition guy from ballots and try to jail him for years, run knowing campaigns with false information.

They wouldn't do that. Can we talk about how the mayor of New York, we did last week, but like now it's clearly true and everyone's saying the mayor of New York clearly being squeezed. Yeah. And so the judge rejected the deal or something. Every time there's legal proceeding stuff, I understand it like halfway, but I guess Trump pressured his DOJ to drop the case for a Democratic mayor who was taking bribes and like illegal campaign contributions and more.

And Trump was like, hey, we got you on the squeeze here for taking these bribes and illegal campaign contributions. Why don't you start doing the things we want? Which is basically allowing ICE to come in and violate some New York state laws. And he's like, if you're gonna let me go personally and get away with these bribes, I'm down. So now you have like a crooked president

working with a crooked mayor to achieve their ICE. Allegedly. No, what I love, I'm sure you remember what he- Is he getting illegals out of New York? That's the plan. So that's what they're trying to do, but what actually happened is the judge was like, I'm not accepting you dropping this case against a man who there's all this evidence against that seems like there's something inscrupulous going on here.

And I'm not an attorney, but I think that's the current state of affairs. I'm less offended by that, you know, potential breach of law than I am by the just shameless breaching of our law of millions of people being in our country illegally. Like, that's that's more offensive to me. That's more of a problem that needs fixing. This is fun, though, because it's right in our faces and everyone knows it. So the Eric Adams is the mayor in question. I think he's on Fox and Friends, which is their morning show. And and they're like, hey, there are people, Mayor Adams, there are people who suggest that there's some quid pro quo coming here.

He's like, it reminded me so much of Clay Davis from The Wire, who's this crooked black politician, he's like's like oh that's ridiculous all them accusations ain't nothing but that's liberal propaganda they don't even know what gender should be in what bathroom and who I who I paid when I paid what I paid I take what I paid I pay attention and this country's a changing he didn't say any of this is just what I would have said if I were him Black I will be president by now I would they would have left me alone if I was black out of Europe. I'd have said that ganja was cultural. It was part of my religion. You were Rastafarian. Rastafarian, you know. But yeah, it's clearly that, and whatever I hear that a judge said this or that, I'm like, okay, well,

this is a bigger judge though. And then after that, there's another judge, right? And then after that, we go to that court where Trump's basically in charge. Like every time Trump's challenged, I wonder like, is this the sort of thing that can go to a Supreme Court? Because then Trump wins. Yeah.

I guess I think it can be, and I'm just saying this because if it's the DOJ who's doing it then it's the federal supreme court Who would be the highest court right if it was the attorney general from New York? Then I would say no, but that's not the case. I see reddit articles that are so misleading and and and I understand why people from the left can can must be like just gobstruck because they keep reading these articles that are from left-leaning media and they'll say ah Trump shut down in this district court it's all over and they'll be like oh

thank God it's all under control and the next day you're like actually that judge has been fired and his wife his wife got cancer last night. And the new judge says that Trump could do whatever he wants. Like the next day there's, because there's always some superseding power that Trump has that has a lever to pull. And the other day, I don't know what it meant, but on the, our law sub Reddit of Reddit,

they were like, this is the biggest presidential power grab in American history. Oh, shit. Reddit said that? Yeah. Holy cow. It's serious. I didn't know where to go to get any fair and balanced news on what he did or- I find myself in that position sometimes.

Well, then you should default back to the most heavily censored, highly curated forum online for the discussion of politics. I feel like I need to hire, I feel like I'm signing a conference. I should hire a lawyer and ask him about what to get. Like he needs, I need somebody who's completely impartial and is protected by lawyer client privilege to tell me the truth about what Trump signed. I agree with both of you. I, our law, I'm not, I didn't join that subreddit, but I guess I gave it too much attention and now it's constantly getting fed to me. And some of the people are clearly attorneys

and subject matter experts who I hope I can trust. They are attorneys on Reddit, right? So like Kyle says, like where is a better source to get that? It's not Ari Fleischer, is that his name on MSNBC? That attorney, right? I don't want to go there. I don't want to listen to Hannity or Tucker.

Like, where is truth being told? Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to find. There's this contest, an agenda. This is where you find truth, because we haven't even consumed enough of the propaganda to know. We don't know anything, so we don't know the fake stuff. I'm just feeling the wind.

I really like the messaging from this administration, though. That's what I like. I like the show so much. Kristi Noem, I don't know what she is, the borders are or something. She's all about the border seemingly. I see her down there in like tight jeans and her hair and makeup done professionally,

moving like fences into place with guards and stuff. And one of her quotes was, it was about illegal criminals. And she's like, we're gonna hunt you down. We're gonna find you. You can run, but you can't hide. And she's like, we're gonna hunt you down. We're gonna find you. You can run, but you can't hide. And then that Tom Homan guy comes on and Taylor, you nailed it so well. He looks like that Tower of London executioner

who's praying that he'll get permission to use his new pincers. Like, oh, my Lord, may I use the new pincers? No, Tom, not the pincers. I'm gonna slap him around the loo. I put him in the loo. He's doing his ogre voice. Yeah, he's got ogre jaw.

I love that guy. I wonder what they're gonna do with the mass deportation. Cause they made a big show out of, it's seemingly a couple hundred deportations, right as they hit the ground. And now it's like, I'm making this up in my own mind. Have they realized that mass deportations will wreck agriculture and construction?

Home prices are already an issue, right? So if you just take out all the illegals and now- Now we have a shit ton of homes that need filling, that would help. I hadn't looked at it through that lens. I was talking about home building, which would obviously be heavily impacted. But if they're living in a homes that would get resold,

then yeah, maybe it puts some supply on the market. Kyle says no. What is your thought, Kyle? You don't want to live in a place that rents to illegal people, do you? Probably the reason they're renting to illegal people, probably not a reputable establishment, landlord type situation.

I know where I rent from, you wouldn't fly. I don't know what it's gonna do. I just want them gone because it seems like the right thing to do. I don't want them snatching up taco truck vendors necessarily, but I love them getting all these criminal guys out. And I like the Tom Holman guy.

I love the attitude. And again, the messaging of the administration where there's no punches pull. There's no qualms about offending someone with the way they refer to someone or how aggressive their language is. It's always aggressive, biting language. It's the way that people talk on like a construction site when there's no time for bullshit or fanciness. It's like, give me that, give me the hammer.

Nobody's offended, he needed that fucking hammer, look. It's that kind of back to business kind of attitude. And that's what I like so much every day when I watch, whatever news I take, where I watch a lot of CNN and Fox mostly now and that's what I like. And when Tom Homan comes out and he's scary or when JD Vance goes over and he gives a speech to the Europeans and shits on them.

I loved that. I loved that speech. He went over there and he's like, the enemy isn't China and Russia. The enemy I fear the most is the enemy from within. The people in this country stomping on free speech like a Stalinistic regime. And they got their panties in a twist. And everybody over here is like, oh, Trump's upset our allies.

Yeah, he's upset them. What are they doing? They're in a meeting coming up with the money he wants from them. Yeah, like that's what they're doing. They're like, they're going to be upset because we're telling them in effect, hey, this little gravy train, this enormous gravy train where we've been bankrolling you for years and years and years. We're, we're not prepared to do this any longer. When you say bankrolling, you mean we're investing heavily in our military.

So they don't have to. We're like, you look at the NATO, like you want to break down. It's ridiculous how much more we carry. And then, of course they're not going to cheer that. They're being held to the fire. They've exported, yeah, that's not the right term. They've outsourced their security so that, we do that job instead, we protect them.

And then we have the burden of an expensive military and they don't. This is Europe I'm referring to, and Mexico and Canada. And so I can see that. And I can never have it explained to me what we get in exchange. You know, they say we're selling security and exchange, we get like soft power.

I'm like, oh, what do I get with soft power? Is that like thoughts and prayers? Like it's not actually helping me at all. Like, you know who needs soft power? People who don't have the largest military in global history. That's what countries need to invest heavily in soft power. So what happened this week is Zelensky refused

to sign over $500 million, billion dollars worth of minerals to Trump. And so Trump has thrown him so far under the bus that you can't drag him out anymore. He's like this middlingly successful comedian is now running this country into the ground. Three years now, three years, no elections. His approval rating, 4%. 4%. I hate to say it, but it's 4%. Why would it be 4%? His cities, his cities are laid on their sides. He's more

popular than Trump is in his country. Buildings are crushed. I don't know about internal polls. I'm a Ukrainian supporter, but I wouldn't trust Ukrainian eternal pulse. Fair. No, it's well known as like one of the least corrupt states in all of Europe. Thank you, Taylor. Thank you. Like they don't do shit like shut down elections or ignore referendums on regions that don't be part of Ukraine. Well, they're not supposed to have elections right now, right? If they're in the middle of awards in the Ukrainian constitution not to have the election right now. So they're in a they're in Saudi Arabia. The Saudis invited everyone I'm sorry

everybody got together and you invite these people and I'll invite those people and Russia shows up and the Saudis host and the United States shows up and Ukraine is not invited to the negotiations and of course so let's he's mad about that and in the same speech that I've been Paraphrasing Trump says he's mad. He wasn't invited. You've been there three years You could have negotiated any day in that three years. You've had three years to negotiate. Now you know, you can come if you want, but now you're not invited. Make your own way.

If this is 3D chess, they just agree to the minerals. Like Kyle said, he threw him so under the bus that he can't pull him out. And I would agree if it was anyone but Trump. Trump will flip, right? Do you remember how fucking far he threw EVs under the bus? He was on the campaign trail every single day ripping on EVs,

ripping on electric boats with the sharks and the drowning and whatever. Like he hated electric. Everything Musk says, Hey, I'll donate to your campaign. All the not another peep about you. Maybe EVs are pretty cool. Right. It was that post with a Trump and Elon where he's like just totally shit talking as he's like standing next to him. And he's like, he was on his knees. Begging for money. That's old Trump, right? Remember that? He was on his knees, begging me, et cetera. Now

Trump and Elon couldn't get tighter. So the idea that he couldn't pull Zelensky out from under this bus, anyone but Trump, I'd agree. Let me tell you what he said today about vehicles and specifically, I was listening to his speech when I played Baldur's Gate. It's a wonderful mixture of media, so I highly recommend it. And he said, I think he was talking about how Biden's economy was slow and that we're going to fire things up. You're going to buy cars, you're going to buy American cars, you can buy electric car,

you buy a gasoline car, buy a hybrid, whatever you want. I'll tell you what you don't want. A hydrogen car. Ah, those things explode. You know what? And let me tell you, when they explode, they find pieces of your body in the trees. He said this. He said hydrogen vehicles explode. And when they explode, they find your body parts in the trees. What explosion wouldn't send your body into the trees? Well, gasoline. What's unique about that explosion? Gasoline.

Dude, gasoline cars explode? Electric cars, I don't know if explode's the right term, but they sure do burn hot. Yeah, they burn real good. None of them are safe in the event of a fire. Hydrogen cars explode, though. They've got a big tank of hydrogen, like the Hindenburg hydrogen. So maybe he's got a point.

I don't think he's making it up. He wouldn't do that. Tripp Fair. Yeah, he wouldn't rely. He wouldn't make some shit up off top. It said, dude, Trump off the and the crowds eating it up. It was probably CPAC. He was speaking it to because speaking to because they were definitely a home crowd.

Yeah, it's wild with the Trump presidency. Every day it's fucking entertaining and I'm here for it, man. I eat it up. I can't help but not watch it. I like the press briefings. I like that little chipmunk blonde chick that's in there chewing people up, being mean to people. The Associated Press isn't allowed on Air Force One for like the free plane ride

to and from events anymore. They're not allowed in the White House. They got me with that one. And they're like begging and other news news people are like, when are you going to let the Associated Press? It's a privilege to go and just walk into the White House and talk to the privilege to talk to the president. That's what we're no longer extending to the Associated Press until they can get their verbiage right.

Rod Karr They're replacing them with info wars. Kyle Tiespiller They do. No, they put podcasts, like all sorts of like just electronic media type people, online media type people that they're putting in that seat. Dave Korsunsky Maybe you know better than me, Kyle. Um, the small little media people they invited, do they tend to be like, you know, the Dave Rubin's and Tim pools of the world or their parallels, or is it well represented? I question. Makes sense.

Did I ask you? It does. What? It does make sense. Um, the only one that I could remember, I don't know her name, but she's a very pretty black woman who's conservative. Not Candace, is it? She has curly hair and she's very pretty. And she's light skinned. And she smiles a

lot. Not Candace Owens. No. Okay. She's pretty. No, this chick's way prettier than Candace Ow this is Candice Owens looks like a strict teacher this chick looks like a Like she could make yes, she does like yeah Right, there is no world of which Candice Owens does not tie her white-ass husband up and do some like Bleached play or something weird with him like there's some there's a whole you think it's's her tying him up or do you think he's, she's making him tie her up? Oh, well see, she's conservative. So I would imagine that she likes to like put the white man in his place behind the scenes because in public, it's kind of, she's often cosigning conservative

viewpoints, but in private, she's like, That's right, cracker cracker to my crusty heel. Yes, Mr. Steve. Oh, I don't like that about her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have a large Taylor. Kyle, you think she's hairy? Yeah. Oh, the hairiest. I think someone looks like a mean RN, like someone that you went to high school with. It's an RN now that you're like, there shouldn't be one. I don't know. And I don't. So my answer is it was well represented when I saw them, because the lady I'm referring to is like, great.

I think she has her own like Fox program or segment or something. She's one of those people. They're really good at like their their triple A system at Fox. Like lately, they start people up small and bring them in, people who are interesting and have cool viewpoints who can operate the microphone, who are good on camera, and they have that other thing. And then slowly but surely, they're like, oh, now you get your own segment. Now you get your own show. Now you run the US military. I think you're completely right. The end was a kicker I wasn't ready for, but you're still right. And I think you're you're clear. You're right. The end was a kicker. I wasn't

ready for but you're still right. And I think it's partly because Fox values pretty people, right? Yeah. Whereas like, CNN or whatever, they grab some freaking established 48 year old. I'm so glad you said that this. You listen to 30 minutes of a Trump speech. And there are five hilarious moments to me. He he was talking about when he flew into Iraq and I don't know if I probably, clearly during his first presidency, they went and visited the troops, I think around Christmas, like a surprise trip.

I remember that. And he's describing flying in, he's like, we had to turn all the lights off, all the running lights, all the lights inside. And I go up and I sit with the pilots a lot. And I tell you, these guys are right out of central casting. These guys are good looking, all right? They look like Tom Cruise, but tough, all right?

They look better than Tom Cruise, but bigger and tougher. And even up there, their lights are turned down really damn. And I'm thinking trillion dollars, trillion dollars we spend in this country. And we got to fly in with the lights turned off. And I say, guys guys are we okay? He's like yes sir, we're fine Mr. President and I believed him. I believed him.

I loved when he talks and he went on about this for like ever, like breaking it down like this. He was like and I told him, you think I'd give myself a Congressional Medal of Honor for that harrowing landing? And he's like, how am I going to be? Not even freedom, he's going to take the military one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because he made that military landing in a hostile country. He's like, I got to be careful though, next week the lying news media, and this is like

today he's saying this, the lying Foxnn will say president trump wanted to give himself the congressional medal of honor like democracy has fallen the crowd all laps and i'm like he's he's won he's won so hard um i i hope he doesn't try to do a third term or i want to see them do more actual like you talked about like i'm sure it's funny i don't watch as much of the briefings and stuff as you by a long shot, but like so much of it, like I'm sick of the bluster and the bloviating and like the, oh, we're going to do this. We're going to do that. Like the deportation levels are so low.

It's a joke. It's an absolute joke. Like that was something that they got elected on. And now it seems like it's taken a backseat to a bunch of other things that are less impactful to Americans. And so like the whole like, and there's too many like grifter class people out there like who just are high on like the owning the libs portion of it where it's like oh it upsets the libs so much and it's like fine if you want to laugh at that. Oh he made email signatures remove pronouns we got them we got them. We got just just stuff.

That's like, okay. And meanwhile, what 410 people got deported today, like we have tens of millions of people here illegally living off of our economy, our system, sending 10s annually back in remittances. Dude, it's a credit. They said 11 million illegals in 2004. Trump said between and in 2011 million. But Trump said that. And in 2011. 20 million. But Trump said that. So I don't know what the real number is, but that's what Trump said. Taylor, that's how I feel, but it's not the illegal one.

It's Doge. Like, oh, did you find 28 million in spending across nine years? We're supposed to find real fucking cuts. I know 28 million sounds like a lot, but when you're looking for trillions, is my ratio right? If I said I wanted $2,000 and they found 28 cents

over nine years, did I do that right? Is that on target? Yeah, it's not significant. And they need to, what they should have just done is like, instead of milking the USAID thing for all the gotcha moments of like, oh, did you know, which I know they did it because it's like it optimally frames it as ridiculous. It's like 1000. It's three, you had three more zeros.

They need to get to the big bucks. As far as savings goes, which like just just acts 98% of the USA thing seems like it was just like like weird nonsense in the first place that doesn't meaningfully benefit Americans. Seems like it's this quote soft power shit where you fund underwater basket weaving in Nigeria and it's really just being backfed

into some NGO and the owners. Like, no, just get rid of all that. We'll refund stuff that's actually like worthwhile. We'll figure it out. But then let's move on to the IRS and the ATF and the FBI and the CIA and the Pentagon and all of these institutions, the military, all of the welfare programs that are being taken advantage of. Those are the big spenders.

Look, they're doing all those things. And I know that they're not getting their deportations per day, I think are frustrating for the administration as well, because they put a lot of money into it. They've hired a lot of people. I don't think that's the issue. I don't know if they've got a bottleneck or what's going on. Clearly, they can find the people if they want to find them. That camp in Gitmo is fascinating to me. I'm so interested in what's the criteria for who gets sent there?

Who gets sent to Gitmo? Could it be a criminal from Mexico who, I don't know, hit and run? Does that guy get sent there? Because you don't, hit and run sucks, but I don't know, hit and run. Like does that guy get sent there? Cause I mean, you don't hit and run sucks, but I don't think he gets sent to get them over a hit and run, even if you are Mexican, you know what I mean? I don't know why we pay in to put any of these people in prison. Like if someone commits a murder in, in there, a Honduran national, and they kill someone in Oklahoma, like now we have to pay for their imprisonment forever. No, this isn't like like this is like releasing animals around that tailor is always if we don't punish them,

what stops them from coming here for their murder? Cations we force Honduras to like like this isn't like we're releasing animals back in the wild. Like we're taking them to Honduras and then Honduras officials, their cops take them and lock them up there. And then they foot the bill for it. But we don't know what their justice system is like. How can they punish someone for something that was done in our country? If they break our laws, they have to face our justice system. That's the way it works.

All the countries in South America have extradition with the US. And so like they clearly would acknowledge a murder. That's irrelevant. No, no. That's not they clearly would acknowledge a murder. That's irrelevant. No, no, no, but I'm saying it's they have similar laws in so far as someone who commits a violent crime here, you can't do that there either. But that's not applicable in this scenario in which they've committed a crime in the United States, a United States crime,

and they get and they go back to Honduras to serve their time. It's not how it works. And if it did, we couldn't trust Honduras to properly punish them. What we do is we punish them here I remember when I was getting sentenced that day. There was a guy who was an illegal Mexican Who had come in and he had driven a truck full of methamphetamine liquid methamphetamine to Atlanta and he was in this huge wrap Everybody ratted on him and he was getting like 30 fucking years or something like that Here and they let him know and after you're done with your 30 years,

then you'll be deported back to Mexico. Pay for him to be here for 30 years. Because he broke an American law, we have to punish him. We can't turn him loose. I hear Taylor's thoughts, like why don't we just save money by only then punish the people? It's how it works in every country, everywhere.

Like if you break a French law, you can't come serve your time in United States. I'd let, you know what I mean? Like you just can't choose what. And we can. We can. They didn't deport Britney Grimes when she had pot in Russia, right?

She was in a Russian gulag or whatever. Yeah, she broke a Russian law so she goes faces the Russian justice system. That's just how it has to work. My fear is that Honduras would be like, well, Americans aren't real people. So we're going to pretend to put them in jail and then six weeks later they get out. Now on the other side of that coin, we have this other group of people who have committed horrific crimes in their home countries and they are here.

They are wanted for double, triple murder, child pornography in Venezuela. And they're in Texas and they're in Texas in their car And we have a choice do we send them back to Venezuela and count on them to handle it or do we send them to? Guantanamo and that's what's that's what I want to know about the delineation between the two how they're siphoning those out Because they are definitely making the decision that people from that Venezuelan game gang Trendy and Agua, whatever it is something like that They're sending those people to Guantanamo because they don't believe sending them back to Venezuela is in our best interest They think they'll end up right back here the same way that al-qaeda gets sent to go on tonimo for the same reason if we send

An al-qaeda member back to Saudi Arabia. They'll be like welcome back comrade. You know, like nice fucking job it's been a long time Pat him on the back and give him some sort of kabeb like Make it rain party or something. So you've got a house him and punish him here because it won't happen otherwise But that's fair So yeah, we need I think we put them to work is the right solution we and look Slavery didn't get abolished. It just got altered. Like slavery is perfectly legal as long as the person is incarcerated by the government.

That's why we have those private prison systems that make a profit. I don't like, you know, if I have a license plate making business, then suddenly you get free employees. I'm like, what am I gonna do? This guy's got guys working for 70 cents an hour and I pay mine 20 bucks. I can't compete. You're gonna have them pave roads? You're gonna have them build homes?

We'll have to tear up the prisons. You know, there's a program, it's in one of the southern states, it's either Louisiana or Alabama. There's a program where they let these people out of jail to go serving real jail time. They let them out of jail to go serving real jail time. They let them out of jail to go work at fast food restaurants and then back in the jail. Like, and they, the restaurant doesn't pay the person, they pay the prison for their employees.

So they don't even have to pay minimum wage anymore for the guy taking your order at Burger King. They can get one of the slaves from the local prison. Oh, gotta be hard. I assumed that they paid the prison market rates. No, why would they don't have to? When you assume that, okay. I think whenever the prisoners go to work elsewhere,

they just pay them like cents a day. Like the firefighters are. Oh my. Like so they still get paid, but like barely anything, especially the firefighters and then they get released and then they cannot be firefighters because they're felons If it's our ambition to be a smokejumper and then these guys get half the jobs and like ah darn it I think minimum wage in federal prison was like nine cents an hour At that point like why even pay?

That's so insulting it's like that's like's like, I like, if I were to shovel my elderly neighbor's driveway, I would rather them be like, oh, thank you so much for your assistance, than be like, oh, you wait here. And then they give me 11 cents. I'd be like, fuck you. Like, just, they don't even believe me.

I was like, it adds up. Taylor, did you even consider that 72 cents a day? Use your head. That's true. I mean, it maxes that over time. What you gotta think about is, if you even consider that 72 cents a day? Use your head. That's true. I mean, it maxes that over time. What you gotta think about is if you've got nobody, like, um, oh, look at that. If you've got nobody to help you from the outside and that's your only way, there are better paying jobs that I think paid like 10 or 15 cents or something like that.

And you can work multiple jobs. You can do a ton of hours in a week and it'll add up to like 10 or $20 a month that you can at least get these toilet paper. Are you gonna get locked up? Yeah, if you're gonna get locked up and do it in Colorado, you get almost a dollar an hour. That's a good deal. You gotta work 33 hours in Louisiana to get one hour.

It's not like go to get to Louisiana. And then I guess it's much better than look in New York getting ripped off. Much better than Texas, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina. They're not paying at all. Oh, shit. Yeah, North Carolina. I guess they don't have to make them. Well, it's their minimum wage, but I'm sure they pay something. Because like Alabama, for example, is in yellow.

It says no pay, but oh, that's state prisons, huh? I was in the federal thing, so. Making the big bucks. Wow, well la de da. You Kyle flexing on us. They put your federal prison. They put your remaining. You really missed paying these, wouldn't us. They put your- I was in federal prison. They put your remaining-

You'd really just paint these, wouldn't you? They put your remaining commissary balance on this little prison credit card that has your picture from when you were inducted into prison on it. And I'm like, where the fuck am I gonna spend this $37 and not be filled with shame? Do you still have the card? Yes! Do you think it still happens? Dude, I wanna see the card. That'd be a cool prop for the show. I never spent it. shame. You still have the car? Yes. You think I want to see the car? That'd be a prop for the show. Oh, my God, it's so bad.

I think it's in my car. I'll look for it next time. You just plug it into your Amazon just for like a one small purchase thing. I don't think so. I even think I have to use like my prison ID number to as my pen. And I don't even remember that. I got it written down somewhere.

I didn't really care to use it. So you try to put in your like your Apple or like Android Pay and it still shows up with the photo on it on your phone. Like it's it's still got your picture on there. It probably would. It would still have all your fucking damn it. Have your it probably be a walk down memory lane. Yeah, that's probably that. I miss snow. I wonder where he is. You want? Yeah. It'd probably be a walk down memory lane.

I miss snow. I wonder where he is. You want? Yeah. Every day. I always, I forget how long ago that was like it was probably six years since you were in prison. Yeah, something like that every now and then somebody will show me a picture and be like, Hey, everybody thinks this is snow. Is this him? Absolutely not. Like that looks nothing like snow. Who is that? Everybody else I think is more invested in snow than Kyle. Kyle's like he's just a guy I knew for 60 days. Like we're not that tight. I'm like but I am I'm connected with snow. Snow is our savior. Snow is the guy who helped us through this situation.

To him. I appreciated snow and everything he did for me on the inside. Clear to him. You dressed up for him. You know, you know, I put on those pretty dresses. After this, you can go finish your Harry Potter book. Come on. That's what you're kissing. Yeah. It's me. Hey, what Come on, time for your quinceañera. Hey, what's up, time for your quinceañera. 35.

Oh, double quinceañera. Look over your shoulder at me. Bite your lip. I think we just learned his little son about Taylor. I bet he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do that. Snow wouldn't do that to you. I don't think he wanted to be eye to eye if we did anything.

No, I appreciate Snow, but I don't have any connection to him. And I think I have his information somewhere, but I have no interest in contacting that guy. That guy's a crime. You can't do that, right? He's literally gang affiliated, and they weren't giving him his quote-unquote good time Which is like time that you earn against your sentence by not being awful in prison

They weren't going to give him his good time because he was a quote-unquote Danger to society that was there. That was the court's words He had that piece of paper he was so disappointed you're saying they're not gonna give me my good time. I'm like, why? Say I'm a danger to society. I'm like, bro, you are. Bro, you admitted to a thing the other day on the track and you was all nonchalant about it too.

He's like, oh, you don't know about that. So, I'm like, what the fuck dude, I just met you. Was the thing of a violent nature against- It was the worst of the things. It was the worst of the things. I'm actually, I don't know what the worst of the things is. Probably murder, that's the worst thing I might- Yeah, yeah, I mean- There's some crimes against children

I might just like just as much I use a gang member. I I think he was down quote-unquote for I have the number 18 or 17 pounds or kilos of methamphetamine some big bag of meth that was his or maybe his who knows Yeah, so not really looking to link up with that guy. Um, me and Taylor have been talking. So Joe exotic of tiger, uh, uh, tiger King fame, I guess is doing these like podcasts interviews, but I think he's just calling from like the prison pay phone, right? He wants to come on.

He said he wanted to come on this show. I don't think I think he's just looking for for anybody to chit chat with He wants that trump presidency. He tweeted something out. He's like you forgot me again It was like it was like a sad me. I didn't forget you're a fucking weirdo and I don't like you What you did to those tigers in that poor one-armed lesbian unforgivable So exotic would be on my side with the hairy women thing. No, he'd be disgusted by the very idea of a vagina. He wouldn't even do that.

I don't want split tails anywhere near me, darling. I'd do that right now. Split tails. No fish for me, babe. No, thank you. Yeah, he'd be catty about it. He does seem, I don't know what I could possibly ask him other than like, like, do you wish you made the tigers safer?

Or do you wish you made it so like people didn't get bit and attacked? No, that's not, you know, he's in trouble for arranging the murder right? He'd talk about that. He'd come on and then be like well I can't talk about that but I'll talk about being a big old gay guy with you. I want to be like you know you know about did you ever financially recover from that accident? That's actually a great question. Never. You know about the furry fucksuits, right? Of course that's involved. Of course he's fucking in a tiger outfit. In his attic, he had these like, not even a suit exactly. To me it sounded like, I think it's a Greek parable, Greek myth about like a queen who really liked big dicks so she made this contraption so that she could like it looked like a cow or a horse but she got inside of it and let a cow or a horse mount it so it would fuck

her he had a suit like that in his attic. In his attic, he had like these Tiger Man fuck suits. And I don't know what he was doing exactly with them, but I think. You know exactly what he was doing. All right. So I think I have a very good theory. You tell me, what do you think he was doing with those Tiger Man fuck suits?

And Zach, if you could find pictures of the Tiger King's Tiger Man fuck suits, I would appreciate that tremendously. My guess would be that he tried and failed to trick a tiger into having sex with him dressed up in in the in the suit because i don't think the tiger would actually like tigers aren't retarded they're gonna be like this is that fucking gay guy who forced me to bite off that lesbian's arm i'm not gonna to fuck him. So I was kind of like suggesting that it might be something like that.

Tiger has AIDS. It's unexplainable with the thing about the Greek myth. But I don't think that's what it was. I think he was making his boyfriends get in those suits or he was getting in the suit and he was he was like, I oh, I'm a nasty tiger now. Come over here, approach me. Oh, don't approach me from the rear. Don't you know that's dangerous?

Yeah. You never approach a big cat from the, oh, oh my, oh my. I guess you're the Tomcat now, aren't you? Aren't you? And like- No, now that's a lot less awful than what I was imagining. Honestly, weird with Zach could find it's still weird and I don't like it. Sounds like they're writing

themselves by the way. Oh, it's two to two. We're all tied up. Oh, no. All knotted up. Just like the Tiger King wanted that dick. Not that's a dog dick. I think you're thinking of. Oh, yeah. I don't I don't believe they have the knot with a cat's penis I'm not very familiar with cat penises. I can't say oh actually I am didn't you know that? Here's a here's a cat penis fact. Did you know that the the the male house cat's penis is barbed? Barbed and so the reason and so the reason if you ever hear cats fucking they're very loud fuckers It's because of the barbed intrusion Forcible intrusion he definitely wasn't coaxing a tiger to fuck him if they have barbed

Oh, I don't know what tiger penises are like per se I'm talking about house cats But I would imagine they're not all that it. It has to be the same, but just much bigger. Yeah, it's just gotta be tiger size. That's just science. I don't think you can make a cat fuck either. I don't think they're, I think they're picky and choosy about like their partners. So I, he was either getting in that suit or he was having them get in that suit. I want to, I really do want to know which that'd be my only question. Who's in the suit? They'll take turns. You each have your own suits. Did you have a special name when you were in the suit? Were you oh, you know, I'm tabby now, you know, was it something like that? Yeah, you like that? No, I don't like that Yeah, I do. I'm Tony

I bet you make me part of your balance breakfast. Maybe what's the Cheetos? What's the Cheetos mascot? Cheddar Chester. Yeah, maybe they're doing some Chester play, you know. Yeah, Chester. I got I got Cheeto dust all over my cock. So I put the sunglasses back on the sunglasses back on. You think I stand too hard? Unless I know you're here and show me what a dirty little submissive cheetah you are. I can't stay hard unless I know you're cool. Come over here and show me what a dirty little

submissive cheetah you are. I can't believe I'm in jail. Yeah, I don't know if Trump should be pardoning that guy. I think he got prison married. I think we figured it out in the last 15 minutes. Yeah, what did he get, who did he get prison married to? I'm not a, I don't know his, um, his, his, his husband's name, but he, I heard he got prison married. Um, I, I'm just saying that, you know, I was so fascinated with that. I know what he's not as big of a fan of tiger King and he thinks that re watching for me. I watched it at least twice.

I watched it once by myself and maybe with like a girlfriend or two and then my dad visited him and I was like you're gonna love this and he was spellbound because I was presenting it to him pretty well too so I'm like I'm like you're not gonna believe how I think I believe how this ends and I'd be like what do you think is gonna happen next? Oh got engaged to Jorge Marquez. Somebody's gotta help Jorge. I feel like Jorge married down. Jorge is getting taken care of. Are you kidding me? That's a celebrity. Zach, how much time is old Tiger King doing? Man, the neck tattoo. It's gotta be a bunch. and the neck tattoo. Harder, it's gotta be a bunch.

Man, someone needs to intervene and get Jorge into protective custody or something. He doesn't look- I remember thinking he was so familiar and I forgot that he ran for president in 2016. Yeah. And he did that video where he's like, I am broke as shit.

I got a warrant for me out or I got a something. He was like just listing off everything like deplorable about himself, walking with a cane. I'm a something he was like just listing off everything like deplorable about himself walking with a cane. I'm a homosexual. Yeah. I own 47 malnourished tigers. I've got 17 lawsuits for loss of digits and or fingers. And I like dick. And I love it. I love it. 22 years in prison, 17 charges of animal abuse and two counts of attempted murder for hire. Yeah, I don't, something tells me Trump's not gonna, not gonna dignify a lot of this with the response. Look, I like it. I like seeing it. It would have been the funniest last second Biden pardon of all time.

Tiger King lumped into the same day. I didn't even know when I was signing and he just brought it to me. I just signed it up. I wasn't for liquid natural gas to Europe. Oh no. Yeah, I was your president. Tiger King of Ukraine, wasn't it? Or what's his name? I think that I think he could make a new show and it could be wonderful. I would watch it. I would love it.

I wish he would get out. I really do. You know, I think he's a great guy. I think he's a great guy. I think he's a great guy. I think he's a great guy. I think he's a great guy. I think he's a great guy. I think he's a great guy. I think he could make a new show and it could be wonderful. I would watch it. I would love it I wish you would get out. I really do you know that Carole Baskin's tried to ruin his life we all saw it we all know it's true and

Yeah, those tigers weren't treated great should definitely be punished for that. But come on. What's a reason to counts? What's a reasonable punishment for? Come on. What's a reasonable 22 counts? What's a reasonable punishment for abusing malnourishing, whatever. 17 times. All I know is what I saw from the show and they didn't look that abused to me. They didn't look like they had, they had, look to his point, they had more running around room than Carol Baskin's, um, lions and tigers and stuff did. They were in smaller, uh, pins. It seemed seemed like it seemed like they had a little more running around room over at his place

It's a shitty industry that he was in and they were feeding them all that Walmart food It seemed like they were feeding as much as they could I didn't see him beating the animals which to me is like the thing that I wouldn't want to see that would upset me but so So I didn't think it was all that bad. Maybe I'm maybe I don't know something. Maybe they were maybe they're fucking those. They're fucking those tigers. It's possible. That's just love. That's what that if there's if there's a tiger owner doing it, it's him. If I feel like you're fucking a tiger, that's true. It's consensual.

You can put it under and like he's probably like you could roofie the tiger okay I'm wrong but by and large I woke up Tigers like I woke up my bandana was all backwards that's all I go where's sorry folks the Tigers aren't coming out today I I can't explain it. They've all been just crying out in the shower. All night. They won't leave that damn shower. Do tigers like water? Or are they like regular cats and hate it?

I don't know. I've seen videos of tigers swimming, so they can't hate it as much as a regular cat. Yeah, and I've definitely seen those jungle cats like grab caiman by the head. Have you seen that? Yes, I've seen that like a panther Yeah, I don't even know what one it is. They'll swim underwater It would like I there's great video they swim underwater when like the bubbles are coming out of their nose as they like Swim underwater to catch caiman and kill them and eat them. How do you eat a fucking caiman? Slowly. Carefully. Yeah, because it would be really hard. Yeah. Our weak human stomachs

couldn't possibly digest a raw piece of caiman. It's like armor. Speak for yourself. You think you could? No, I don't even know what a caiman is it came to be honest. It's like a little, it's like a bitch made gator. Oh, I think it's, yeah. Sounds rough. It's like a river. I don't know the difference between, I know that that crocodiles are mostly saltwater and and gators are the North American, but I don't know. The longer and more narrow heads and alligators have the shorter fatter heads I think so. I also think crocodiles and maybe maybe both don't ever stop growing as far as we know That's pretty cool. That's a very dinosaur. I think lobster do that too Yeah, it's just a lot. Yeah, God was saying alive because you never see any giant ones

Yeah, but like a hundred twenty year old crocodile would probably be gigantic, bigger than a lobster, I bet. Bigger than a lobster. Have you guys seen the Swamp People show? I have not. I've met the Swamp People. You've got because I'm doing a video with my friend tomorrow about them, and I like watched one clip just to get a gist of it. And like the first 15 seconds seconds this lady's coming up behind a crocodile with a rifle

and just executing it I'm like is that how they do it every time just execution style yeah it's gotta be the I guess what they uh they'll they'll hook them and then they'll pull the line in until their heads just above water right next to the boat and then they stick the barrel to their Head and zap them and then drag them in. Yeah, there's some they have a gun where it's triggered by Contact no, they use a 22 He's a 22 rifle and it was funny like at the height of that shows popularity if you went to Bass Pro Shop They had their own 22 caliber bullets

Like like I can't remember which character, it was like, grandpappy zap him good, 22 rim fires. Special 42 grain holopoint. It's so accurate, it hits it if the barrel's touching him. Accurate up to three inches. Yeah, it's a little- I didn't know if it was like, that's how they did it.

I thought it was more of like a oh, he's in the water Down that way. Let's shoot him like normal. We're like, it's it's more like fishing than hunting Why the the capturing hard part is like I think getting him on a line But the shooting part is is more analogous to when you want a fish in the head with a club than anything Yeah, they're just shooting them. I think there's a whole limit to how many they can take every year and a bunch of laws and everything. I don't know why anybody would want anything made out of alligator.

I remember when I was selling cars, there was this black mega preacher who came in and he had either a navigator or an escalate. And the interior, the dash was alligator. It looked so cool. It looked like Koopa's car. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. Koopa's car. Yeah, like the Mario.

Yeah, leader of the Goombas and the Koopa Troopas. Leader of the Koopa Troopas. You don't think the Goombas fall in line for King Koopa? No, they famously lived in a segregated society. I'm surprised you don't know this. Oh really? Who's running shots over in Goombaland per se? Well, they're more of, it's funny, they're occupied.

They were the original dwellers of Koopa Land. And then they were displaced and then forced into kind of a slave cast. Of where now? What's it called? What's it called? Koopa Keep. Of Koopa Land. Sounds like the Koopa Troopas are the original.

Look at that. Just hidden. Well, they named it. Well, the Koopas say that there was no nation of Koombas that ever existed. Well, I think you're just making all this up. So I discounted all. I wouldn't care so much if we weren't funding the Koopas. Dude, I'm still like, it's so fucked up that we were funding Al Qaeda in Syria.

What years did we do it? Was that a Biden thing or like a two decade long thing? I think it went on for a long time. Yeah, it wasn't started. I think it was an obama thing Originally, but I think it continued for a long time because That war has been going for like a decade or something or at least One war. I don't know what to call what's going on with the asad regime in syria over the last 10 years Whatever you call that conflict. Like we've been involved and funding the fucking people who took down the twin towers, like

throughout that conflict, like giving funneling money to an equipment to them. Hmm. Yeah, that's not good. If we find like 100 more times we're funding these kind of groups, we're going to have a problem. It's like, like imagine if we've been doing stuff like this for like a century. Look, I'm, I'm nationalistic enough that if you, if you tell me that we're the good guys, I'll nod along.

And if you tell me those guys are the bad guys, I'll say they should fucking are. But keep it straight. You can't be, you can't be changing on me. You do. Those are the bad guys. Yeah, we know Russia and China are the bad guys. If they flipped around and they suddenly told us they weren't, I'd be like, what changed? What's going on here? What's the deal? I've seen movies. I've seen some movies and, you know, Russia's the bad guy, always. And they lend themselves so well to the bad guys

because they have scary accents. That's huge. I play Cod. Yeah, play Cod. Can you imagine like trying to make Sweden the bad guys? Don't make me fucking laugh. Well, no, in like some Cods, it's like, it's enemy. Hear me out here.

I'll say this though, the atmosphere globally from other countries and what I see online lately, it's starting to feel like maybe we should just side with Russia and China and carve everybody up, right? Who could stand against us? How did Russia get on that list? Do we need Russia in the mix? Can we just not do just China?

You absolutely need- Actually, dude, we're so strong, we could pick either one and succeed you remember World War two from history class we absolutely need Russia to destroy to conquer Europe yes we need their waves of millions of men to sweep across Poland and the Balkans we wouldn't have to go to war we would just you know we just take oh we're going to war over here we just rename it on Google Maps idiot, and then that's their problem Think of that you would think of that dude I think it's only us Google Maps in the interest of national security the borders may need to be expanded

North into Canada and south into Mexico over here, and then I'm sure Putin wants some quote-unquote breathing room over there in in Europe and then China clearly has designs on Taiwan and any number of territories in that region. I feel like China wants little Russia. Oh and then there actually is a territory dispute between the two of them. I think there's some islands or something up there above Japan that they are right. Am I crazy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think in particular, there's some islands that there's some, you know, who would get fucked up if they like, what's Mongolia going to do? What do you mean? They're right.

Mongolia is right between Russia and China. And they're like one of those countries where like, it's gigantic. And there's what? Like only there's way fewer people in Mongolia than you think. and there's what? Like only there's way fewer people in Mongolia than you think and they're just out there riding fucking horses like their ancestors. Pretty cool country Mongolia. I had to bring, I don't know these smokes. There's 3.5 million people there. Yeah there's like nobody. That's the cool country though. Yeah you know what we should take Mongolia. What are we gonna do with Mongolia? The Russians can have... the Russians and the Chinese can char about Mongolia. We want Montreal. What country in Europe do we want the most? We could just get Finland. The Vatican. Finland?

Fucking freezing. I don't want Finland. We'll figure it out. Italy? I like the land. I love Finland. We'll figure it out. I like the land. I love the land. I love Italy. Oh, if we could have, think of how much coastline you get in beautiful Italy, if we just, if it's now, and we repopulate it with our northeastern Italians. And we send all of our like New York Italians back there to reversese assimilate and then all the like when the Italians would like hate it. Sopranos went to Italy and like any real seafood. They can't eat the food.

If we could just bring air conditioning to Europe. Oh, that's a good change. Everything. Yeah, they live in those like hot brick houses. They don't have ice. Apparently they don't have air

conditioning. They don't have ice apparently. They don't have air conditioning. What are they? We bring them AC and we take all the really awesome high quality food. Yes, we learn from their regulations there and they learn from our AC and our military. Yeah, we definitely get skinnier. If they introduce dominoes, I need to be done through magic. I don't want to shrink my portions. I agree. It can't be done through any form of willpower or any gumption on my part. It has to be some sort of magic injection.

That's so funny that like we finally discovered a borderline magic way for big fat people to lose weight rapidly. And like the whole my what I read about is Zempik is like the entire mechanism is just it slows your digestion a lot. Right. Like it's like something to do with hormones that I thought it suppressed like growling or something, and it's the gastric emptying. OK, yeah, it slows down how your like stomach is emptying the contents.

And so like you're digesting slower. And so it's like, let's say you eat a big Chinese meal at a restaurant, not on Ozempic. Maybe you're hungry 45 minutes later, a succulent meal. But with Ozempic, you're probably not hungry until like four hours later because it's just sitting in your belly way longer. It's appetite suppressing. And like through a really ingenious avenue, if that's true. Pretty smart. Pretty impressive. And we haven't, are there like, are there any big negatives to it yet?

Like enough people are on it. Like we're going to find out. We'll find out in 10 years. At some point, right? Like are there any reports of people having issues? I think RFK is trying to make it, I don't know if he's trying to ban it or just make it far harder to get a prescription. He would ban it. He's already jacked. He's trying to pull the ladder up. We should have teams of government employees running around with dart guns,

just zap and fatties with a zempik You know what I like that at least as much as ice That's a big one the night at five there queen. Out of nowhere, SEAL Team 6 come down out of helicopters and darted me. Now I can't even eat my 30 piece tin. I'm so full. I'm so full. Like the way the Trump brothers were posing with that elephant, you have like the agents like posing with like John Goodman. He's got his foot on it. He's on the ground. He's got his foot on it.

He's on the ground. He's got his foot on his back. Yeah. You know, Taylor, speaking of willpower and food, I saw that you were recently on milk. I'm off milk. You're off milk. Okay.

Because I was only maxing for a while. But yeah, because I saw that and inspired me. I haven't had milk in years. It has been maybe five years and I went to the store and I bought milk and I drank it. And I was like, you know, why have I been shutting this off in my life for so long? This is, this is, you're entering what I like to call the danger zone. And that's where you get in a habit of drinking six to 800 calories of whole milk every day for like two weeks

You gain a visible amount of weight And then you have to totally cut it down but you have to preload it's like you enjoy you look you look fit And so I think you're very very far from worry mode on that. But yeah, it's what we'll see you're getting whole milk, of course started off with 2%. I'm leading into it. It's easy to read crowds for milk. Yeah, yeah, I'm easing into it. I'm doing a, it's like preloading creatine.

You have to like load a certain amount. That's fair. For a certain amount of time. Once you get that whole milk going. That's exactly how it works. Once you taste that full fat, ooh. I need, I'm inching my way towards the glass Oberweiss bottles that you get the deposit. Yes. Yes

Dude, I was drinking those like I was a homeless wino Banging on the door. I want my deposit back. I brought the bottle rancid breath. Just old homeless milk breath. You got like crumbling cookies. The only thing is I'm like kind of lactose intolerant. Oh, you just got to like, enough. Enough for it to be like, just, I just get gassy. That's what I'm not like allergic reaction. I've never had any issues with with dairy products. Like they don't cause me discomfort or intestinal distress. Like if anything, like a little bit of intestinal distress would help me out because I could eat cheese all day.

And like my ancestors were eating so much of it. It just, you know, water off a duck's back. It's to my advantage that I dislike alcohol so much. I'm not really at risk for this problem. I'll never be an alcoholic. I- You got a milk man? I could do milk, but I was sort of comparing

Chris's aversion to milk to mind alcohol, right? There's a reason he's not downing too much. Yeah, but after a big old giant- Was that the lactate? No, you think lactate? They do have lactate milk. They have, what's the other one? It's another brand of milk. Is it

mouth? Is it a two? No, it's um, it's, let me see. Because I also towards the end of my milk bender, I was like going for glass bottles like Oberweiss stuff like that. Because it is higher quality. It's better. I almost bought chocolate at one point. And I'm like, what are the fuck are you doing? I've bought that before. It's delicious. I know it is. That's why you can't open the door. Oh, fair life is the due to milk that apparently helps people who have what you have, which is like a slight dairy

sensitivity. And so they have a thing that you have. They have that thing you have. Not that thing that ocean milk that us milk drinkers have don't have. So yeah, I'm off that. I'm now I'm like onto a much less tasty but still pretty good form of dairy. I'm not eating any cheese, no milk. It's just like a lot of Greek yogurt. So you know, skim milk, you won't even you won't dip your toe in that. No, it's just not worth it. Because one of it's not I know. It's vanilla. The vanilla flavored Greek yogurt is very good. I got some of that that my fridge I got the protein one

That's the one I have it. I think cashew milk is really similar And it's way thicker and milkier and and delicious I'm with Cal cashews my creamer in my coffee I'm having my cash and it's vanilla flavored like like it's vanilla flavored milk. Your cow can't feed that. That's what they should do. They should feed cows vanilla and somehow get them to create their own natural vanilla flavored milk. That's why I eat. I think that's how it works.

It is absolutely how it works. Zach, Google how many, what percentage of Americans believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows and because it's higher than you think. That's baffling. What are they surveying second graders? You were sending me the illiteracy rates of Philadelphia the other day for some reason. I can't remember why. Those were staggering. Staggering. Really? What were they? Remember they were illiteracy rates? I don't remember but it was uh it was some meme making fun of the the Philly uh fans of the of the Eagles and it was like an

astounding majority citizens can't read at a sixth grade level like they could read that meme they'd be so offended they sure can climb that was just some sour grapes Casey I pretend Casey fans 7% of American adults believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows that amounts to about percent of a Jarvis million people percentage of Americans are in kindergarten Still though you should know in kindergarten like like did you have so so

Did you have we had vanilla and chocolate milk at the in the lunchroom every day in school? Did you have well not vanilla I just write I meant I mean I mean Miller Yeah, I mean milk. We had chocolate milk and creamer, but we also had strawberry milk occasionally Did you ever have strawberry milk at school? No, we had Regular milk we had whole milk 2% milk and then on occasion there would be cartons of chocolate in there But those went so fast that like you usually didn't get one. And we had like, we had like little

chips that we could like trade in for our milk. And you are like the the teacher when they walk you to the lunch room is like kindergarten would give you like a chip that was either like red or blue or some other colors. And depending on what your mom signed you up for, it would represent a single portion food or a double portion food and a single portion milk or a double portion milk. And my mom was always loading my ass up double portion food, double portion milk, because I was a hungry boy. And so like, every single day, I was eating double

portion food and double portion milk. And I was eating my friend Tim's meal because he was on food and double portion milk and I was eating my friend Tim's meal because he was on Rittle and and then some of those kids were too weak to protect their lunches. I'll tell you when you eat three lunches a day you're strong. When you're eating three lunches a day you're booming with energy. I was a big kid and not fat. I was just a large child. Was there anybody in your life that was like, if he keeps growing like this, I think he'd be GoPro. Because there's that moment when, like, I don't know if you've ever, we've all had puppies before and there's that brief moment between eight and 10 weeks for your life.

I don't know, he might be 300 pounds. We're not sure yet. We're hoping this stops soon. But between last week and this week, he's tripled in size. It's scary to watch. But the milk that we had it all computerized since elementary school. You just put in a little bababa, like four digit code,

and you had your lunch. It was like you had you had your your lunch. It was like you had an account with money like loaded onto it. So you get your lunch. We didn't we didn't have the casino format either. We just had the same thing, the computer. And I think I never had.

It wasn't until like middle and high school where we started like bringing money alongside that. Mm hmm. But yeah, we were doing the chocolate milk and pizza every day, which is insane to think about, just like having that for lunch every day. Now, why are the kids so tired? This is like I was going to say, like, if I had that now, that wouldn't be good. No, I get fat quick on that. I would I would skip breakfast and then eat that awful lunch sometimes and then just just always have low energy

I can I remember now I thought about a couple days ago about how I would get home from school and I would have That the deepest sleep of a nap like like like like I would just collapse into my bed and sleep until 6 p.m Or something when it was and so oh god. I needed that so bad. I just always exhausted. I don't think I ever got the exact same nap. And like every day, you sleep in that every day. All it was every day at like 4 p.m. when I got home until like 6 p.m. and then I'm up till 2 a.m.

and then it repeats. I was not a napper. I never had a full night's sleep in school. And to this day, I've never had a good night's sleep the night before. Something important. Like if it's important enough to make me nervous then I will never get to sleep that night. Like the night before I go to prison or the night to go to go to go to go to court or anything like that. Like the whole night I'm up the night before no sleeping tossing and turning. I slept those are

stressful times. Yeah yeah it's hard to sleep during those times. Dude, that's scary. One of the scariest moments I've told it before, but they scheduled a court appearance in Athens, Georgia. This is early on. I had to go to the federal court in Athens, Georgia and they didn't tell me. No one told me. And I don't even think they told my lawyer until that day, the day of it. It was a big miscommunication it turned out. But what I experienced was being woken up at 9.45, 10 a.m. in bed with a girl and it's the Athens-Clarke County Federal Court lady, someone who works there going, where are you? You're supposed to be in courtroom three. Judge Hannah Belector is waiting on

you. Everyone's upset. And I'm like, I don't know anything about that. I'm on the way. I'll be there as fast as I can. I'm just like no shower getting my suit on Can't find my belt all I've got is an old belt that doesn't fit anymore So like I can't so I'm like, all right, no belt no belt Help me with my tie and she's like trying to move as fast as I am and then I have to I live in Atlanta I'm an hour and a half from Athens. I cut that down on an hour somehow and I I get there and and they're like, oh no big deal. You didn't rush did you? I've been in my car having a fucking panic attack driving here for an hour scared shitless that I'm making a bad impression to

All of you people who have my life in the palm of your hands. And they're like, nah, turns out that this person messed up and told this person a thing and no, we've all been having a big laugh about it here. Really. You know, no big deal. And I'm just like, well, I feel better, but not really. This is a three hour round trip for nothing. Well, no, no, no, we're still going in now. We're now and I'm like well and so now I've got my hands crossed in front of me hiding the fact that I'm not wearing a belt. Like that's gonna matter but wait

a minute step forward. Boy are you not wearing a belt in my court room? I got two rules in this world! Are you mocking me with that suit? Mr Gambini! Mr Gambini! Yeah, that was an awful day. I was so scared. It's my greatest nightmare. And I'm sure you've had this nightmare before, sort of. It's the nightmare of waking up and being unprepared for the big thing that you had forgotten was today. It is the nightmare of waking up and being unprepared for the big thing that you had forgotten was today. It is the ultimate nightmare for most adult men I have found.

It's the one we all have, whether it was high school tests or a job interview or the big project for work. You needed that data today, sir? Oh my God, I thought it was due Monday. It's Friday morning and you've got 30 minutes to do eight hours worth of fucking work and your job Or your promotion or like your respectability here might be online or your future as a human being like like so it's high school That's the one that everybody seems to get is the one where you like you Have a dream where you for whatever reason have not been going to a class for some reason for the entire semester

And then it's the end and you're like, I'm not graduating. And then you have a word for it. It's called PTSD. Yeah. PTSD. I had one like a month ago. Really? Yeah. I see it all over like Twitter and everywhere.

Like people are talking about this same dream in adulthood. How many years out of high school are you? My 10th is this year. Okay. I feel like I finally like, I haven't thought about it in a while, years out of high school, are you? My 10th is this year. OK. I feel like I finally, like, I haven't thought about it in a while, but it's been years since I've had any of those school-related nightmares. I think I've finally aged out of it.

And the most recent ones I've had were always college-related. And it was exactly like the I didn't. Oh, look at this, sir. I didn't do frickin' night school for 13 years, and I'd never done that. I didn't do fricking night school for 13 years and I'm over the trauma. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you're probably waking up still, gasping it with your Darth Vader mask on. I still have. A few days ago, there's this, for people who don't know, before the show starts, we joined the call one by one. I joined the call, I'm on time, but Kyle and Taylor are already there

and they're talking about conspiracy theories. And it's vibing like I didn't do my homework. You know, I always come with like PowerPoint presentations. I've got my little speeches prepared. And I'm like, hold it, today? Today are we doing it? They let me off the hook, but it sounded like it. Well, when we do it,

we'll be sure to be updating each other regularly because we should do that again soon. It's very fun. Yeah. If you guys would like to present some conspiracy theories, I would like a rule set, though, because are we trying to be silly, have a good time, or is the goal to convince some people that actually maybe there is something to this conspiracy? We can do two.

We can do two each. I like that. We can do two, we can do two each. I like that. We could do one where- That's more work than I'm willing to sign up for. One is like a competitive one where we're trying to be the most convincing. Like the way that we all remember the tail of the tape. I won so handily with Helen Keller.

Absolute blowout. I've had a lot of guys hit me up in saluting my presentation. But I also did the one where Long John Silver's, Kyle, we can't talk about yours. We can't talk about yours. The Long John Silver's one being a drug ring, that was absurd, but it also had a few facts behind it.

I'm interested, Chris, what would your, If you were doing a conspiracy bit? What would what would your pick be? Honestly, all of mine just come from Wendigoon videos like that's all the ones that I know. And with all of his they're all rock solid. He it's not even like conspiracy. It's like the one that I watched recently was the one with government cheese. And that one where like just from the dust bowl leading all the way till the nineties with Taco Bell and Pizza Hut like pushing cheese

because the government incentivize them because they had so much cheese. And they're like, hey, we need you to push cheese. And they're like, we'll put it in the crust. And that like became a whole thing. Like everything he said throughout that video, I'm like, this isn't even like a conspiracy. This is like just facts laid out in a line.

But that's honestly where all of mine are. It's just his videos. Conspiracy can be true. It can be a true conspiracy. It can be like, oh, or it can be a totally false, ridiculous movie. But I didn't feel like he had to convince anyone with that video. That's more so the ones with him where I'm like, you're not even having to like try.

You're just like literally reading off of this. I'm like, I don't feel like he had to connect any dots. It was just like, yeah, this happened, this happened, this happened. And that's exactly the truth. Yeah. And now we have the cheesy Gordita crunch. And he also led it into like the book, like the reading books thing where you get the pizza party Yeah, oh, yeah, dude. Oh my god. What was that called?

Those groups, I don't know. I think they Was a better name than that Yeah, that was part of it were like that was kind of an eventual We would go to Pete because of that I'd be like I got these fucking like book club coupons that we gotta go use them That was part of it where like that was kind of an eventual side effect. We would go to Pizza Hut because of that. I'd be like, I got these fucking like book club coupons that we got to go use them. Like it was a big deal to me to use them. That's when you would eat in the restaurant.

Oh, yeah. Those red translucent cups and the very ornate for a Pizza Hut chandeliers. Mm hmm. Which I like to go there on lunch in high school and I would just eat the buffet. I miss that so much. That would be great. And the salad bar is great. Yeah. Old school pizza hut, the inside that's pure nostalgia to me. That's where we would go after a baseball game to have like the team, like pizza party. That's where we go. You know, whether we lost the championship game or we want it, that's where we go. Birth. I've done a birthday party there, I think one time I loved Pizza Hut. I think after one, you know, you thought how old were you then?

Like like 31. And I saw Home Alone and, you know, they're the wet bandits, right? And that's the thing. They did. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to. I was a wet bandit. So I'd wait till we were about to pay the check and I'd be like I'm gonna go to the bathroom before we leave and I'm like nine I'm like nine and I only go to the bathroom before we leave and so my family would be paying the check

About to walk out the door, you know and I would be stuffing the the sinks in the bathroom full of Paper towels and turning them all on full blast and then walking out of there paper towels and turning them all on full blast and then walking out of there. Like, how did you do that? Because I wanted to be the wet bandits from home alone. I thought Joe Pesci was cool. He was cool. And what you did was cool. But even in that movie, Joe Pesci is like, fuck you do that for Marv.

That's why you do that. I call you indulge in the did you indulge in the sticky bandits with the tape on the hand? No, that wouldn't catch on as much. It messy too. Although like I did I did that thing I remember it was the biggest stupidest thing when I was in the fourth grade It was his big parent teacher conference Kyle's in trouble and like oh my god, what has he done? We need you to come in. I had taken Elmer's glue and put it on my hands and rubbed them together to make glue gloves We had to have a whole

parent teacher. That's like every little kid did that. I genuinely had a teacher that was out to like get me or something. I think I disrupted class with or something and she was trying to like frame me for being like needed to be in a special ed class or something. She's like he's just so disrupted Yeah, I can't have role you too. Like I remember him. Well, yeah. Yeah, they were trying to frame you, too Same thing No, I remember one day I

like in the boys bathroom this piss all over the toilets and everything so I flushed it with my foot and Somebody ratted me out for like flushing a toilet with my foot and it was a parent-teacher conference and I remember my dad always had my back. He was like, have you been in that boy's room? I've stopped by before I came in here. It was piss everywhere. You know what I did? Flushed a toilet with my foot and I was like, oh yes. Rod Thank you, dad. 10 year old me needed that so bad. I was the kid who was pissing all over the toilet in the stall. Because I had that, I've said it before on the show, but I had my, like one of my first

days of kindergarten, I had that thought standing in a stall pissing and just out of nowhere, just thought big boys do what they want. And I pissed all over the toilet, the the balls of the stall. You were hot off stealing like three lunches. I was I was I could do what I want. I was first of all, didn't steal. I was giving them I didn't steal lunches. Didn't have to. You don't have to steal lunches when you you don't have to steal lunches when you eat three.

When your friend Tim is on a high dose of Adderall, his parents shouldn't have put him on that. He couldn't eat and he'd get in trouble if he couldn't, so I would eat it. And so yeah, I just remember the freeing feeling there because I really had a feeling that at five years old, I'm a big boy now. I go to fucking school. I'm learning to read. I can pee wherever the hell I want. I think that was the age I was peeing in the corner of my living room for no reason. Damn, that's that's pretty intense. Old enough to be like, what the fuck am I doing?

And then my mom catching me be like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, I shit. Oh, yeah. And my that would have been a that would have been a paddling. What did you say you did in the corner of the living room? It was just some spot. I think next to the TV on the carpet, I just would. I just take a piss. The same spot. Just like you know, it was more than once.

And until I got caught and then that was when my mom, she wasn't even like mad. I think she was more than once in until I got caught. And then that was when my mom, she wasn't even like mad. I think she was more just they had to be around Taylor standing on a toilet age. I think it was like five sticks, probably. Yeah, I think five or six. Like I was old enough to know like this. I was house. This isn't OK. Well, so was I. I could go to the bathroom.

I could kiss my toilet. You said that. I got about his dad being like, oh, he says that, oh he says that does he? Well the carpet cleaner rental says otherwise bucko. I just remember it completely wrong I'm just pissing my pants on accident. He's squatting their wedding. Remembering it as like dominance. You remember that moment in the water boy when Bobby Boucher Adam Sandler brings home Vicki Vallancourt, his girlfriend to meet mama. And he's talking about like, I'm a man now, mama, I can do what I want. And she's like, oh, are you? That's a sheet over there.

Won't you tell about your little bedtime troubles? And his sheet is like has huge yellow stains on it. Oh, please, mama. Now, I talked to my mom about this recently, and she was like, yeah, is that that is exactly how it happened You were old enough to know better because then she brought up her co-worker whose son has a problem with peeing in a drawer in the bathroom and she's like it's a big problem and it made me think about you peeing in the Pissing in drawers and I thought it was a meme because there's that

great meme on the internet. It's a picture that looks like it was taken from 2002. And it's that kid. They're opening a drawer that's full of urine. Like there's three inches of standing urine in a clearly open drawer and the mother has just discovered it. And the child is clearly crying and squalling like, because he's been found out to be a drawer pisser and it's immortalized. I don't understand that. Like, do we know why people pee indoors?

It's more common you think it's like the high school dream. It happens to everyone. Really? I've never pissed in the drawer. I promise you. Is it this one, Kyle, the kid in the drawer. I promise you is it this one Kyle the kid in the the Batman suit That's exactly it look at that motherfucker is it's been downloaded and shared a billion times Gatorade. God damn it. That shit is dark. It wasn't that dark before it like. Oh yeah, probably.

You might have evaporated. Evaporated over time. So he's so embarrassed. It distilled. Is that what Batman does? Batman doesn't pee in drawers. Just dress like Batman pissed in the dark. Put on the Riddler costume, you sick fuck.

Yeah, wear it! Being a kid is so funny, just listen to the stupid shit you do all the time. Why would he do that? No, the only like, I didn't pee myself growing up at all. Like I have no memory even, I can remember being four. But I don't remember ever peeing in the bed other than when I was like 29. I think I had a dream where I was in the dream. I had to pee and so I'm like, Oh, I'll go to the bathroom and I go to the bathroom in

the dream and like piss in a toilet and it makes me piss my fucking bed in real life. Yes. And I wait and I wake up and I'm just like, I pissed myself. I'm like, I'm going to own this one so hard. I like every one of the house needs to know I pissed myself. Just flip the mattress over. Everyone's like, you've been stricken by that. You think you're peeing in a toilet,

but you're like on level 10 sleep apparently yeah yeah it's not a cotton it's I did it on purpose dream me with to go over I was sober and I did it on accident so there yeah still two to two yeah the USA Canada game 12 minutes left in the third. We're gonna finish with enough time to catch the very, very, very end of the game. I'm excited. Come on.

We're gonna figure out the titles quickly. Yes, we're gonna have to. Zach, you better be on fucking point. He must be on point because he brought that piss drawer out pretty quick. Did you have any other piss incidents as a child, Chris, or mostly the corner living room?

I mean, I was like I was a bedwetter when I was young. Like that was it was a problem. And like it wasn't funny. Funny P. That wasn't very funny at the time. Oh, no. Oh, no. I mean, other than like my brother breaking out of my duplex and going into my landlord's duplex to use his bathroom when we were drunk one night. And he didn't go to the bathroom first. He

went to the landlord. My landlord is a family friend, so we knew him well. But he went to his bedroom and he just turned on the light and was just like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And other than that, though, not much else. I have a friend. This is years ago now, probably when we were both in our in our mid 20s. And he would he had a habit where he would get drunk and then like consistently. Go stand up in the middle of the night and go to his closet and open the closet door and just pee

into the closet. And I remember it was his, his girlfriend, now his wife. His girlfriend would like be on guard sometimes and wake up to like the sound of like droplets. She'd be like, Hey, you're asleep. You're asleep. And then he wouldn't like, he wouldn't snap back to, you would just wake up so he'll shit himself. That's the risk. Yeah. Like rubber bands in the closet door. I remember when she told me that and I was like, oh, man, that's crazy.

That's kind of like when you dream you're peeing and then you end up now all over yourself in bed. And she was like, no, this has happened like eight or nine times. Like I can't keep stuff in the floor of that closet anymore. I guess it's going to get this soaked. That's so awful. I would be so embarrassed by that.

I would put something, I would put it like a litter box essentially in my closet. You have to. My fucking, all right, so we had a thunderstorm the other day and Murphy peed under the bed. He peed under the bed on a rug that's under there and it smelled so bad and I couldn't find it. It reminded me of the time there was a spider in my

bed and so I start eliminating things that are in the room until I find the spider because I can't go to sleep now until the room is naked. The room was naked and I had steamed the curtains and the walls. Do you have a reason to believe the spider was extra troublesome? It wasn't a cold spider. I was in bed and it, I was with no shirt on and it crawled across my chest

and I flicked it so I didn't get a great look at it, but it was big and I had to find him. I couldn't go back to sleep with him. I would have befriended him. I was on the verge of getting a hotel. I was on the verge of getting a hotel. I was on the verge of getting a hotel room that night. I had pulled my entire bed apart and it was on the other side of the room. You can imagine, you know, like each layer of of covers and blankets and pillowcases had been stripped

carefully, inspected carefully to make sure it wasn't in this fold and then placed in a safe pile across the room. And then I poisoned everything with spray. I was gassing everything. It's a tough thing you sleep on? My pillow. Yes, under everything, on every...

Like, in the crevices, because I can't find him. And I swear to God, I was putting my shit on to go to get a hotel room, and he came crawling out from under this chest of drawers, like... Just coughing. Just... HE SCREAMS He looked like, if you've ever seen RoboCop, falling out from under this chest of drawers, like coughing. Just he looks like if you've ever seen RoboCop, when the guy like crashes into all the top of the waist and his skin smelt

his eyeballs popping out like he came out like that. And I was like, yeah, hey there, buddy. I ground him into nothingness. And then I went back to fucking sleep. That's not how I work at all. I have broken Jackie's spider will at this point, right? She used to be like, what are you, there's a spider. Me being the guy who's supposed to kill bugs

around the house. And I'm like, that's Henry, we're friends. That's my pet spider. And I'm just telling her I'm not going to kill a spider. I was like, have you noticed the cockroaches? Have you noticed the stink bugs? No, well thank Henry. And he's the guy preventing these things,

this house from having these problems. Now, if she sees a spider, specifically a wolf spider, she knows it's worthless. Don't ask Woody, I'm not saving it. And I don't even want, I'm not killing it. And I don't want it killed. She's on my team now. A wolf spider is gonna be really big

for me to step in and intervene. Like I don't have a problem with spiders because I know that they take care of the other stuff so I've never really given a shit and one time is with my ex and one got on her and she flicked it off and I knew we weren't gonna find it and she was just gonna freak out the rest of the night So I went to my dresser and like oh here it is. I'll take care of it Anyway, I didn't have anything in my fucking hand. I just saw him like, this thing is still in here, but I threat averted. More devious.

That night, he killed her. He's very smart. And that night, and that's why she's my ex. Turns out, not a wrestler's soul. Turns out, not a Henry. Not a Henry. That was a bad one. They don't call them black widows for nothing.

I'll tell you. If I see, I mean, black widows are very obvious. Like you can't see that and then not know what it is. I'm gonna kill that. But everything else, like a little house, brown recluse, but like you're really not even seeing brown recluse that often. Brown recluse are very nondescript.

Mice are the ones that I can't handle. If there's a mouse, I can't handle that. I don't want a mouse in my house. That will that almost got me to like Kyle going to a hotel because I heard it. I think it fell into my hamper one night in high school and I kept hearing it squeal and I just went to my friend's house because I'm like, I cannot listen to that all night. I told you guys when this happened, but I had to remove like a squirrel from my house two years ago. Like I was moving stuff in and out of my garage and I was leaving the door to my kitchen open so I could just carry heavy things, put them out in the garage and then come back.

And so I wasn't having to fumble going through my laundry room to get out to the garage. And so I left it open and the garage door was open too, I guess. And like, maybe 10 hours, like a whole day's worth of time. After I finished all this stuff in the late morning, I'm sitting on my couch at night. And I just hear like a rustle, rustle, rustle, like rustle, just like rustling. And I kept walking into my my kitchen and looking around trying to find like, what the hell is going on? And then I'd go back and I'd sit down and I'd hear a little screeching, a little screeching and scratching. And then I go, like, finally, I go and I open my, my pantry. And I'm looking in and I'm like, I don't see anything. Close it, go back, sit down, more screeching and scratching. I go check my pantry again. And behind like a box of like soda and like a big bag of rice is just the big billowy tail of like a chipmunk or a squirrel sticking out. And literally, I was like, and it was like, like 1am, like I'm like, I'm like going to bed. And I just, I just, I just closed the pantry. This will be a problem for tomorrow.

Good night squirrel. Good night squirrel. And so I closed them in there. And then the next morning I woke up and I'm like brushing my teeth and I'm like, oh yeah, the squirrel in my pantry. And so I had to go. There's a squirrel in there. What? There's no open the pantry. This is a squirrel in the fucking pantry. And so I had to open it up. And the way my pantry door opens, it would encourage it to run out and take a right to go into my home. And so I had to avoid that. And so like I got a broom and was just like,

and first of all, if you have a squirrel or chipmunk problem, don't ignore it overnight, because it's going to shit all over the floor of your pantry and that it's going to tear into the bag of rice. It's going to be an enormous mess. So just take care of it in the moment. And so I opened it and kept trying to like, no, no, like try and spook him out of there. And I have like, I have it set up so that it should just run straight through because it's a straight shot.

If he takes a left out of my pantry, right out into the garage, right out into the world, and he can live his life. And instead he like took a hard left and then an immediate right into my laundry room, which is where you, you know, right by the garage. And so he was like scurrying around, hiding under clothes, hiding behind my washer and dryer. And so I had to just like keep antagonizing him and trying to get him out of

there. Like I wasn't going to hurt him or anything because that would be fucked up. But I was just trying to like rattle stuff and spook him. And it took me, it took me like 40 minutes to get this thing out into my garage. And it was And it was either a very small chipmunk or a very large chipmunk or a very small squirrel. It was a big enough animal to cause a lot. You said you needed to set up an obstacle course, like a clear with boxes and different things around the house, like a clear shot.

I should have, but I didn't have all the accoutrements. You didn't have your ramps. I put a small, like I put one of those like clear see through rat traps, like a not the ones that kill them, or like a mouse trap. So that was a mouse where you like push that little lever down and then you put peanut butter in there and then they run in and it traps them. I didn't realize till the next morning they're like this thing could barely even fit its fucking head in that trap. No wonder it didn't get caught by it. But hopefully he's living a long and healthy life.

He has to be alive. I hope so. Big shout out to him. He made it out of my house with no injuries and all he, but he did he shit all over the fucking pantry. I just like get bleach and scrub it out. What was the poop like? It was little. It was like a rabbit. Like little, little pellets. Yeah. Pellets like rabbit like little little pellets. Yeah. What it tastes like? It is gritty.

You can't be too sure. It was just a big pile of white of uncooked white rice that it was clearly eating a ton of and then like little poops on top of that. You got like a whole brat diet. Pretty much. Yeah. Well, anyway, I remember, I was gonna say real I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I shit. There's a pile of little balls of shit and he grabs the shit and he's examining it and he's warm, like runs his hands through it and puts in his mouth and starts chewing this handful of shit up and he's chewing it like tobacco and spitting a little. He's like, he went east from here.

He's thirsty so he'd be going over there to get some water. Yep. He's a big one too. He's a male. About 180, 200 pounds maybe. I think I guess, my God, you can determine all that from tasting the shit? No, hell no. Use tracks right there. We should have brought law. That's funny.

Just eating the shit for fun. Yeah, that was a great time. We should have brought law That's why even the shit for fun yeah, that was a that was a great time. Thank you for coming on Chris Yes, where can everyone find out stuff Chris Chris James on YouTube Chris the James everywhere else Check him out. Check out Chris. Thanks for having me 740