Painkiller Already - PKA 742 W/ Scott Sullivan: Prison Shower Etiquette

Episode Date: March 8, 2025

PKA 742 with our guest Scott Sullivan. Taylor. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Harry's prize picks, lock and load and our wonderful merchandise. And we've got Scott with us, a great guy, an undefeated street fighting champion, Scott Sullivan. Thanks for stopping by. Hey, thanks for having me gentlemen.

What is your actual street fight record? I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's like a million and no. Nothing too huge. The Hicks and Gracie fight counting method. Like he puts in front of someone in line at the grocery store, add another one. I don't know if that was a fight.

I have Z bread. If you're looking to get like, to run up your personal score in street fights, where do you think the best place to go is? Uh, like not Jack. You can't go wrong with a hospice ward. Yeah. Oh, well they're not on the street though. I was going the other direction. I can't believe you're picking on old people. I would have done preschool. A preschool? That's a good one too. I was thinking like a vegan march but you show up like near the end like when they're kind of pooped. These aren't like street fights as much as they are hate crimes. No it's not because I hate them,

it's because I'm asserting dominance. I love every second of it so you know. Yeah I would say I'm not doing this because I hate you so I'm like pulling little bits of carrot out of my knuckles. Oh I thought you were forcibly penetrating at that point. Oh no don't be gross about this dude. Well you said you know you weren't doing it because you enjoy it it just had to be done you had to dominate them it was about the dominance not about the the enjoyment. It was about exhibiting my skills. What's the ball gag for when you do this exactly? That's for me. That's actually a breathing technique.

That's an ancient Chinese breathing technique. That trains Taylor's jaw, actually. That's not a ball gag. Yeah. No, there's a bit of peanut butter in the middle here and I'm almost. Dude, I just bought a cup. And I've almost got it.

Can you imagine if Taylor was a biter in bed oh man I've got powerful massager muscles Scott I had my dentist tell me in a way that wasn't a compliment that I have the most powerful massager muscles from grinding my teeth he's ever seen I could I can take your finger off like a horse could like I could over teeth well they're fake now and so I'm like I'm like a horse could. Like I say, like, did you take a finger rounded over teeth? Well, they're fake now. And so I'm like, I'm like a titanium monster. Well, they're not titanium.

There you were on a, is it called an appliance like a night guard to sleep in? No, no, I kept spitting it out. I would like wake up and it would be in my bed somewhere. And it's not like I woke up and removed it in fury.

It's just like it would come out of my mouth. Taylor didn't want his teeth to be controlled by that piece of machinery. He's like the personification of that TV show severance, right? Sleep Taylor's like, you fuck, you're going to be buying new teeth every three and a half years. I'm due. I'm due for new teeth again. That's going to be expensive. Then I wanted to ask this guy, have you ever been in like a legit street fight? Obviously self-defense. Yeah. Yeah. There's been a couple of situations. A lot of it though is like, I wouldn't call it fights more so as just like aggressive hugging. Because when

someone's walking towards you, like the last thing you want to do is let them get all the way over to you. Like whatever you do, whether you're going to swing on them or like get away or whatever. And like, I'd usually just go for double underhooks and take them down. And you know, it just is that but there have been a few times where like I've had to like start throwing punches at people. You know, one of them was actually this dude broke into my friend's car and we ended up catching him and he drove off because it was a situation where like it was him and a getaway driver.

Right. And they drive off. getaway driver, right? And they drive off and then the dude comes back later because it turns out the getaway driver lived on the same street. So it tells you the kind of people we're dealing with here. You just got to go dilly dally in a parking lot somewhere. I used to have some anger issues. I know you can't really tell looking at me. All right, but I used to kind of be on edge. I'm like, I bet he's one of those level-headed gingers. Yeah. Yeah.

Dude, if you're a ginger, you're either gonna get into MMA or you're gonna like become Muslim. Like one of those two. That's the only two options. It's a big ginger thing, yeah. I mean, it could, it could be both nowadays. You know, you got a lot of, you got a lot of Muslim MMA fighters. Find yourself in dance. Might be my time. That's true. If I were getting into mixed martial arts, I would look at the field right now. I'd

look at what it takes to be successful. I think maybe 10 years ago, you might've looked at Conor McGregor or somebody like, Oh, I need to be loud. I need to be bombastic. I need to insult my opponent. I need flashy tattoos. I need to be loud. I'll show up late to the press conference. I'll be disrespectful. I'll be a bit of a heel, but also like call my shots. Now I don't know. I definitely need to go to the mosque first and go to the mosque with and hang out with the brothers. Um, I need to start bathing with other men, taking group photos of that. I need to grow a beard other men taking group photos of that. I need to grow a beard. I can't grow that beard. I'm gonna let you right now. You gonna stick with that story? We all know.

We're gonna start doing that. You told me that the other Airbnb shower was broken and that we had to do that together. Do you know how much your testosterone levels went up because of our bath together, Taylor? You don't even understand. I don't know. I'd have to look at how much there is per milliliter and then do a little math. Well, if you're going per milliliter and then do a little If you're going to per milliliter, it's gonna it's gonna be very diluted. You want to go by the deciliter Okay We had weakly bathing with other men your body naturally gives you more test because it thinks oh shit

I'm in competition with that guy with that hog. Oh, man. Oh, I thought it just seeped out of your pores kyle That's where I thought you were going with this it just seeped out of your pores, Kyle. That's where I thought you were going with this. He'll get a little bit. He'll get some contact. If we had to sneak by each other, if we were naked in the shower and we had to sneak by each other, would you remain facing me when we passed? Or would you turn? I do want to know what the prison method is. In prison, you very often walk behind another man while he is showering because the showers are in a row.

And so the move is you turn around and you face the person who's going to be walking past you and you cover your jump and you kind of look down but you're also like, you know, you don't present your ass, you know what I mean? Like you don't and you don't continue watching like there's not a man naked behind you right now. You turn around and you let him pass but you don't look at him, you don't continue watching, like there's not a man naked behind you right now. You turn around and you let him pass, but you don't look at him, you don't look at you, but you're ready to throw down in case he does look at you.

Man, that sucks. I love my shower time. I would not wanna be on edge. I wanna relax. Well, that's why what you do is you go to the last shower at the very end. That way nobody's gonna be walking behind you. You will be the one walking behind the people.

And it's also the cripple shower. So it's got more pressure and all those extra like nozzles and stuff because they're in a chair in their shower. And so you got to get low. It's nice. It's close to convenience. This prison has is there like is there like an etiquette for if somebody doesn't do a certain piece of that? Like like if I turn around, but I don't cover my junk,

is that gonna like, am I gonna get yelled at? Like what's- I mean, I might take it the wrong way. You know, I might be like, you know, if I was a gay guy, I might think you were like showing off to me or something like that, I guess. But like me personally, I wouldn't even know if you were covering your junk or not.

I just keep moving. Do they follow the same protocol regardless of like the status of the inmate that we're talking about like if it's some alpha? I don't know shot caller and the other guy is just some pipsqueak Do you give him the same respect you would against it's not respect. It's it's letting him know you're not looking to get fucked in the ass And that you're ready to defend yourself should he looking to get fucked in the ass and that you're ready to defend yourself. Should he want to fuck you in the ass? Like, like the, the tougher guys were the ones that would all do that. That's how they made it that far. They played by the rules. Yeah. Yeah. Shower showering was always stressful.

Sounds stressful. That's why Kyle did it twice in 60 days. No, that's the other thing. Like, might even think you consider that you're like, you know what? I think I'll just I'll just stay dirty. No, they'll hope your ass for being dirty. They should. Oh, I think it's about that. They told me stories about guys who wouldn't wash and got beat

because they like got multiple warnings. Like you can't be that smelly. You have to wash daily. We're sharing like a space with you and we're living with you. And then they ended up whooping his ass. There was a kid in my, I want to say eighth grade class and in gym for like a whole segment of eighth grade. They basically would just let you try out a sport and it would be like, all right, this block of gym of boys gym is going to be wrestling. So like you're just in like your shorts and t-shirt, like your gym wear, but you're out there on the mats. And they're like, they let the wrestling coach teach you some basics because he's obviously trying to get people to be like, Oh, I sucked at basketball and hockey and football and baseball,

but I'm decent at this. I am going to play a sport this, uh, this fall. And there was this one dude and the coach, my coach, the coach who was like overseeing the wrestling was the same guy I've mentioned before who in our locker room would like lock himself away when all the boys were showering. Like if he came out, he was doing like 10X what Kyle was just describing where he's like staring at specific atoms in the ceiling being like, boys, hurry up. I got to take your word for it that no one's being assaulted because I'm not about to look at you naked. And he would go to this one guy, I ended up, he was a ginger actually. And he was like, hey, someone's been telling me that you're not showering. Now, if this were baseball or football and you didn't want to shower, that would be fine. But because these are wrestling mats, I have to insist that you're showering because there's a much higher

risk you're going to get. Like you can get a serious infection and this is second hour and so you can't be sitting around with all these germs on you. Like something bad could happen so please start showering. This guy would not shower. He was risking life and limb of staff of like dirty high school boy staff and would never do it. Like he would go in and like wet his hair. And it's like a little bird bath isn't going to get all the germs off of your like knees and your feet and all the places where the nonsense is. And I remember like the public shaming that that guy got from people because people would be like,

do you know Alex doesn't shower after wrestling? Like, ew. He goes and sits next to girls with like, like fetid disease on his skin. It's like, yeah, it smells bad too. I wonder what his side of the story was. First of all, did you say the age? How old was he?

That was eighth grade. So how old are you like 13, 14 in eighth grade? Yeah, most eighth graders don't get naked with other eighth graders because they'd hit puberty five years before and they don't already have a hog, Taylor. Taylor was swinging, he was hanging dong in that, in that 13 year old group of boys. He just like, what's the problem guys?

Come on, help me shampoo my chest. I would have been staring longingly at Taylor like armpit hair, lucky. Lucky. longingly at Taylor like armpit hair lucky. Dude, when the alternative is being known as the stinky kid, because you know the girls are talking about that. You know they notice when some dude smells like shit every morning. Dude, I'd rather be stinky than baby dick, wouldn't you? Probably well, I guess this is a good point. I have no idea what that kid's dick looks like.

I remember I told this story on the show before when I was 12, my buddy and I talked these girls into drinking alcohol and making out with us in the attic of an abandoned home because I was a good kid. And, um, I got her to reach down my pants afterwards. They were on the phone. They're like, how big is it? How big is it? And I'm sweating bullets and she's like medium. And I'm like, Oh, fuck yeah. What is back there?

Swish just wanted to be a medium. Dad, you're not going to believe what happened in school today. That's right. Your own son, Matthew, a medium. He's like Daniel Day Lewis in my left foot holding his son up. That's my bar. That's so funny. Like the two girls that age would know what they're even... That's the perfect answer from that girl who's like, all right, I need to give off a vibe that I'm experienced because I don't want to get

bullied for being a prude. Saying medium really makes it seem that I've run the whole gamut of penises here, and it's somewhere in the middle. Was she like right in front of you? Were you just kind of looking at her with puppy eyes? Well, she's like trying to say this? Or was it like around the corner? No, imagine a phone call where like a bunch of 13 year olds put their ear near the same receiver

talking at the same time. It was that deal. Who? Do that will be stressed. You guys familiar with those? Oh, 1992. 1992, you're adorable. Yeah.

Yeah, 1992. Right, yeah, sure. The first year of college, that's when this happened. Well, we don't have to say 1980 anything. Yeah that's that from that I remember when it was it was the phone. The only phone I had was the phone that was stuck to the wall. And then it was AOL, eventually like Messenger. That was the big one when I was a kid. I skipped right through that MySpace shit. I never like,

I never had a MySpace or gave a crap about it. I think I was too old or I am too old for MySpace or something. No, it was because you weren't too old for Facebook and it was before Facebook. I don't know. MySpace seemed like the one though. Everybody had like a page with like slipknot singing when you went there and it was a picture of them on a dirt bike, giving you a thumbs up and then a picture of them and like their three cousins or something. It's like, why is my cursor Yoshi? I can't even tell what I'm clicking on.

Like they would just change all the fun numbers of the page. That was the charm of MySpace. I was the charm of myspace I kind of kind of dig that Facebook is so sterile and so old people style now like like I What he always talks about the the groups that you can be part of and that makes a ton of sense and I go on Facebook marketplace all the time Because you never know what you're gonna find on there I like buying workout equipment on there and I I'm always on the lookout for collectibles. But other than that, I can't imagine,

those people who go on there and update their status, their birthday party was today, and they're putting all the pictures, that's just not me. I don't wanna be part of that world. Basebook's just an ad platform now. That's quite literally all it's for. That's how they make their money.

And if you're not trying to sell somebody something, you're just the guy that gets sold shit to. Do you yield with political comments? And I'm like, I stopped taking that bait six years ago. Are you political, Scott? You get into it at all? You pay attention? Yeah, I mean, I started paying attention again recently.

When shit sucks, I don't wanna hear about it. So I'm like, whatever, no, I don, I started paying attention again recently when when shit sucks. I don't want to hear about it. So I'm like, whatever, not, I don't, I don't want to, but when I, when I start to like things again, I'm like, all right, let's, let's pay attention now. That's exactly me. It's like you're, you're, it's like your team's doing poorly. They have a bad year. You're like, I don't even want to hear how they did.

How they played the Mets. You want, you know, I don't tell me, I know they lost, but lately it's like, Oh, what happened today? We want again. Nice. Keep streak alive. And all and you've been plugged in nonstop to all you're doing is watching the content. I love it. I love it. I'm obsessed with it. I watched the State of the Union with all the all those pathetic placards they held up like it was an auction. Was there no one in, in their group to be like, guys, this sign thing

does not come off as powerful opposition. I looked at it. The second I saw a sign, I'm like, this is going to backfire, right? Like in 30 seconds from now, there's going to be a picture of you with a sign that says I'm gay. That's where this is going. I was wrong. 18 seconds. Fuck. They're quick. Yeah. So what that was wild. The signs were off putting people didn't like those. Maybe you didn't see it. So I saw all of them. I said like false or like lies, not- Or Musk steals or save Medicare, shit like that. Trump lies, stuff like that. And then I think the guy's name is Al Green.

He's this black guy. I think he's a Congressman from somewhere. He looks, he has a cane, like one of like a Lucius Malfoy, with like a Cobra on it or some shit. It's this very decorative cane. Oh boy. And while Trump is doing the address, he stands up and starts screaming and waving his cane at him. And they have to and like Mike Johnson, the speaker has

to be like, order, order. We we direct the sergeant of arms to remove the gentleman from wherever the fuck if he does not contain himself. And it went on for like 30 more seconds and it became clear he was going to stand and scream the whole time. So they took him out of there. They removed him from the room. And I think that surprised the Dems because nobody else stood up.

They shut up after that. A bunch of guys walked out in solidarity. I thought they were haul. They were part of the group hauling that guy out. Uh, but, but I, I couldn't tell. And then Trump called Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas to her face during the state of the Union. And then he pointed out that he's like, Oh, you'll clap for five more years of war, won't you?

They won't clap for the boy with brain cancer who getting the secret service award. They won't can't clap for the little girl with brain damage because she had to play against a trans athlete. They won't clap for this record or that record, but I say five more years of Ukraine and you're fucking losing it over there, Pocahontas. I like it. Wait, he said this? Paraphrasing, yeah. Holy shit.

Because they did those other things. They're like, this is little Julie bump on the head. She's sitting next to my wife up there, a trans athlete hit her so hard in the head with a volleyball. She has permanent brain damage. And she's like, Hey, and then they're like, this is little Marcus, he survived brain cancer. And his dream in life is to be a police officer. He's been honored by more than 800 police departments. And Marcus is so cute, dude. He's got scars from the cancer. I saw the pictures Yeah, when the Secret Service rep gives him his honorary Secret Service ID he goes

Oh and hugs him like that that grab a guy and hug him real quick like Santa Claus and the Secret Service guy was like Interviewed afterwards the kid I saw them bullying him. I saw people bullying him online. That's not what I'm talking about. No, no, you might like this. He's being interviewed and he's dressed like a little policeman. And he's like, if anyone out there has a bad thing to say about Donald Trump, I'm on your bumper.

It'd be funny if they did that South Park bit where like 10 minutes later, the head of the Secret Service is like, God damn it, Marcus, get your ass in here. You've been shirking your responsibilities, Marcus. We're going to get you off the squad. Where's that report from last Friday? God damn it. The director's like, breathe it down my neck.

I need it. He's like, I'm eight. I'm eight. I have brain cancer. Some people were being mean to the brain cancer kid. That's a bad look. That's an easy kid to be nice to. I don't know.

I saw some people being mean to him on the street. Some girl dancing on him and mocking him and him covering his eyes like this, make it stop. Oh, but just random shitheads doing it. They weren't members of Congress who were doing it. It was AOC. It was AOC. She called them the N word. It was crazy. Lindsey Graham went over and was like, you know, none of

this is real. You're not even a real agent. That badge ain't real at all. You want to see my lady, my lady bugs? I'm not going to waste any more time with you. I've got gay sex to have in the presidential bathroom right now with you. I've got gay sex to have in the presidential bathroom right now. Yeah, I didn't like the Democratic protest. I didn't like them anymore when the Republicans did it, when it was Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene screaming.

I didn't like it when it was Al Greene either. Stay consistent. And I see this guy, Al Greene, raising the cane. Did he appear that it was difficult to stand while raising the cane? Or is this a purely performative cane? I think it's a useful cane. I don't think this is the kind of guy who can really get around super well. It's also quite decorative. I also saw they had the retired chief justices were there too. I can't recall the gentleman's name, but he also has a pimp cane. And he like did that thing where

he wanted to clap. He like hung it on his elbow like super smooth and like, that's fucking cool. That would be that guy someday. I want to be that. I want to be a cane guy, but you need like a romantic wound. Like you can't just be like, uh, my knees, take a jump with my dirt bike back in fourth grade, and it's just never been the same. It's gotta be something. It can't be gangrene from lack of hygiene. Like it's gotta be something.

Polio or something like Mitch McConnell. Is it Mitch McConnell that had the polio? Mitch McConnell did? Yeah, that's why he didn't like, he voted against RFK because he had polio. What percentage of people, I thought it was like a death sentence. I don't know enough about polio. No, it would cripple you.

So I grew up knowing a guy who was like my mom's age who had polio. And I just remember them being, my mom being like, you know why he's in that wheelchair? And I'm like, no. So she's like, fucking polio. I'm like, didn't the polio vaccine come out in like the 40s or something like that? And she's like, they've had a polio vaccine way longer than he's been alive. And somehow he just never got vaccinated, I guess. And now he's all crippled up.

He's dead now. But yeah, I don't know. I probably got polio related, probably because he was old even then. Well, I mean, he was in that chair, you know, and he was gross. He was a real gross guy. He is kind of yucky to look at. I'm trying to figure out why he's using a cane. I've been Googling for a minute now. I can't figure out what's wrong with him,

but I did see a video of him walking with it and he seems to need it and he's 77. So I don't think it's just for show. I'm good with him having a cane. I just, I would have been totally fine if it was a, like a, a for looks cane. I think that's kind of a, that's kind of a cool thing to have. You need to be a certain age.

You can't be like a 36 year old guy walking around the cane. You look just foppish like you would need to be an older guy. With what if I'm wearing a fake Marine Corps uniform while I walk with the king? Yeah. Yeah. Veterans can use it was Really the fake burn injury that offended me. Yeah, when you did that. Stolen valor at a new level and you don't even do like a cool burn. It's like the kind where half your half bald.

Because you have like that fucked up like a gritty burn skin. I wanted that discount, you know. Have you seen that picture of there's some dude who like loves to get rowdy at all the protests and everything and like he gets arrested all the time and he's maybe you've seen this mugshot Scott this dude has like the most alarming burn face ever and it's like this guy was just arrested for assaulting people at the march for life this guy was just arrested for assaulting people at the BLM and. This guy was just arrested for assaulting people at the BLM. And it's like, I don't know if this guy has principles at all.

He's just mad at God and wants to get into fights. Let me find this. Sounds justified. And Tifa. Yeah. There's a lot of dudes like that that are into that type of shit. The whole thing was, uh, was fun to watch. I really enjoyed I don't know who that Democrat is. She's a the best

way to describe her. She looks like a crone, like a like an old wood witch who's like shriveled down and her head like doesn't attach to her body exactly right. He has purple hair. The Democratic representative. The old one, right? Yeah, yeah. So they'd zoom in on her every now and then because she had this face of utter disgust and defeat. So like Trump would say something and they'd show her. He's like, the radical left over here, I can't make them stand and clap. I could cure a disease that would sweep across the globe and kill every man alive. I could have the greatest economy of all time, but you people wouldn't

clap, would you?" And then they zoom in on that purple haired lady. It's perfect. Dude, her, like Zach, pull up a picture of her. And if there is any picture of her with that old mayor of Chicago with that goofy face, like genuine Lori Lightfoot. Dude, these two are like these two would be working behind the scenes with the Joker in like Batman. Like if they were to cast this this blue-haired woman as like the corrupt Joker, apologist, politician in a in a Batman movie, it'd be like this is too on the nose. This isn't believable. Like the blue hair. Chicago mayor could be a crow. Oh yeah, this Chicago mayor would come out there like just gawking at everything with giant eyes

and her mouth open and just wearing the biggest, it's like calling up men's warehouse and being like, yes, the largest suit available, please. Holy shit, that is the one on the left. Oh my God. All right, I don't ever want to hear about Trump selling products at the, again, are they dressed as Clorox products?

It looks like it. It's easy to forget how gay the COVID shit was. I'm making shit up, but it's probably a COVID response, right, like disinfect. All right, by the way, that's her best photo ever. This is when she was young and spry. This is not how she looks today. This is this is a night there That's how I wish she looked right to the 80s when she was fighting with the commies. She's got the same hair as Dewey from Malcolm in the middle. We're not talking about her because she's there. We're talking about her because she's

attention-seeking Like yeah, she there are so many old people in Congress who look bad, but she does this. I think that's her move. I don't know her name or where she's from or what she does. Rose DeLauro. Yeah, it was a fucking event. Trump is the master of the show. He had all those people to like, look at this thing and look at that thing and look at this person and he does Every time he always brings out the victims that he has saved The mothers of the of the slang that he has brought justice to and he says here I talked to her see what she thinks about me. Well the

Venezuelan gangs raped and murdered my daughter President Trump said he'd get him They're gonna put him to death next year and he closed the border I'm so happy President Trump keeps his promise and they're crying and he brings them to every event. He's got Lake and Riley's mom at every event. She was there at the State of the Union. It's masterful. It's masterful.

It's- Did you watch the whole thing? Yeah, of course. It wasn't that long, like an hour and a half or so. Oh, okay. It was the longest of all time, I'm joking. It was the longest- I was going to stay on like that. All time.

It's like a feature film. That's a lot of time to pour into watching these guys talk and, and call. I was, I was excited when I saw it was coming on. I was, I was sitting there waiting, like, why is the timer ticked down? Like it was a, like it was a midnight release. Were there any other very funny moments you can think of? That guy losing his shit, that Al Green guy getting removed and just yelling and he, you

know, he looks ridiculous anyway. That was the highlight of the night. The little kid was great. That was like a heartwarming moment. I don't remember very much of Trump's speech. I know the polls say that like 73 or 74% had a positive on the on the speech so it was definitely a huge win for the speech that's all I yeah but no other laugh out loud moments I mean every time they'd zoom in on the Democrats and they

had those little signs it was so silly and then a bunch of them were wearing pink and protest but that but a bunch of her show up. That's what it should be. I'd rather be white. They should just wear white or something as some sort of, because it's red, white and blue. It's red, white or blue. They wear one of those, sync it up. That's all the pointy hoods do.

The screaming with your cane, regardless of which side, pointy hoods, okay, I see. That's funny. The scream with the cane that either like Bobert does or Green does, I don't like that. The sign. Anybody, if you've never seen one of those out there, like it's very common for the opposition side of the room

not to stand almost at all. They'll only stand and clap for like the military and paint, you know, like the state of the union is strong and like, okay, we can get behind that, that sort of thing, but nothing policy wise. But they didn't clap for a single thing. They sat there all night. And what's more, some of the Dems didn't show up. I know AOC didn't show up and a few others had a protest. And so their seats were filled by Trump supporters. And so you saw that like, there was that divide that was clearly like, oh, everybody on the left is a Republican,

everybody on the right is a Democrat. But some of the people on that was clearly like, Oh, everybody on the left is a Republican. Everybody on the right is a Democrat. But some of the people on the right like verging into their territory. And it was a cool optic. It looked good that like, we're eating your party. Like, the people that were watching don't realize that those are Republicans sitting in Democrat seats. They're like, Oh, so the left side of the Democrat party, they're all on Trump's team. Were these just like less, like not federal, like representatives, or was it

just like, I don't know, a raffle? I don't know who they gave seats to, but I would guess they gave them to whoever could cheer the loudest, like that sort of thing. Yeah. It was an interesting night. Um, in other news, South Carolina is about to execute a man via firing squad. I think that's a way better way to do it. Tomorrow. You think? Totally.

Like you're out. That lethal injection thing, like no one's coming back. But I could see that just being like, see, he's totally peaceful. But it's like you're like burning alive from the inside or something horrible. Yeah, they're like paralyzing you and you're suffering terribly. Those things have been botched all the time because that's not actual medical personnel applying the lethal injection because the actual medical personnel

won't murder a person for the state. So it's just some guy that works with a prison injecting you, trying to find the right vein, et cetera. Is it different different than putting a dog down because that seems super peaceful? Yes, it is completely different They use a whole different batch of chemicals for some reason that I don't know And so it often goes very poorly There have been botched ones where they didn't kill him and they got to like come back and do it again Or where they can't find the vein and they're just jabbing this guy over and over whereas the firing squad I don't know if it's six,

it's like five or six guys or something. And they've got 308 rifles with hollow point ammunition aimed at your heart. And they're in the same room with you. You're dead immediately. You're pretty much dead. I feel like I'd pick a good shot. I bet you won't, Buzzi. They showed the room. Zach, you can find a picture of where they're going to shoot this guy. It's like a chair. They strap him to with sandbags around it.

And then the family will be behind bulletproof glass watching from the side. Oh, the family of the victim of the kill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm sure his family's invited to if they want to see some cool shit. Is it is it like a range or is it like, no, like, no, it's just a room. Yeah. That's like a birthday party down the way. Give me another hundred meters. When I saw this, I was like, that ain't safe. Like there's no way this is safe. So they strap him to that chair and then the guys are gonna be across the room.

They're gonna shoot this guy. If they miss and hit the chair or anything metal and that bullet could come back and hit somebody, these people are plenty safe. But the people in the room with them, they're not safe at all. Assuming that's bulletproof glass. Yeah.

Yeah, because I don't have to tell you after bullets hit things, I thought they just sort of disappeared until I fired tracer ammo. And then you see where they really go, which is just about anywhere. Yeah. Far and with velocity. Yeah. No, that's the fire. You guys were all going to be publicly executed. What do you want to go? Um, either firing squad or hanging. I think hanging is pretty good. I don't think you feel much there. They just snap your neck, you know, instantly. So one of those maybe hang this airy lead up. I can die anyway I want maybe overeating. Well, maximum for 23 years now. They're going to be maxing for 23 years now. We almost got this. They give like one Oreos poison and you get to finish your final meal. That would be good.

But they would, I wouldn't be in favor of that. It's too rewarding. It wouldn't be rewarding at all. It'd be like seven. They would have a gun to the back of your head feeding you some disgusting food. They're not going to give you good food. And then I say more, more. And they're going to torture you until you eat more.

I can't do it like that. Wait, I was just dealing with my execution. Because I'm executing you. I'm the executioner here. I got to choose the execution method and it doesn't involve- You're being executed. You don't get to choose anything. Actually, we could, that's how they get- That was just people choices. Do you remember foie gras where they force feed geese a bunch of stuff to get their livers fatty and that

makes it tastier. Yep. We could do that with the prisoners. We force feed them and get tasty livers. It isn't he made foie gras doesn't sound appetizing to me to begin with, but even if it were, I think that's too cruel for me. Like I've seen them force feed them and it's really mean. Ooh, I like the guillotine idea. Yeah, here's where that comes from. I saw a bad guy, presumably, in Iraq get hit in the head with a sniper and I am forever left with the emotional scar of watching him snap from living to dead instantly.

And I was like, I bet a guillotine is a really repeatable way to accomplish that. You just become dead right away. I don't think you do though. That's the thing, like you go on living for several seconds afterwards as a head. Most, right? Well, there's been some discussion about that.

There was this case where there was someone curious about that, I don't remember who, and they asked the person to be executed. They're like, you know, if you're conscious when, you know, I'm gonna pick your head up and everything, give me some blinks or something like that. I don't remember how it went, but I think they determined that the head

could be conscious for like several seconds. Okay, let's do something similar to guillotine, but use an anvil, right? That's gotta click it off. Okay, 100% that way. I can imagine being that scientist who's like, and I'm definitely going to get your head right after they behead you. And then it happens and you're like, oh, oh shit.

Like, I just want to be checking. No, exactly. If you can find the suicide helmet. This guy built a suicide helmet back in the day. I think he had brain cancer or something. And he wanted to go out with a, you know, quickly. So he built this metal helmet, and onto it were multiple ports in which went 12 gauge shotgun shells facing inward.

He created a helmet that's very similar to how a nuclear weapon works. Where you send all that pressure from multiple different angles and like, and the one little spot. It's literally a way someone dies in like Saw five, like, like a bunch of shot. I'm serious. Like the shotgun thing.

How about you, Scott? How do you, how are you going to be killed publicly? That's the inside of his helmet. I don't know. I'm kind of like in the anvil thing. They can maybe play some looney tunes music after they do it. You know? Oh yeah.

Keep it light. That's all folks. If you go suicide helmet, you have to go to like the next page to get past Google trying to save me. Suicide lines, English, Spanish, 24 hours. It goes on and on. That'd be fun. And searching like suicide helmet on sale.

You're being stingy with your suicide. Get the refurbished one. I'm not getting the new one. Oh, yeah. Just get half your head blown off and then you're retarded. No, I think firing squads, there's like five different methods we use. And firing squad definitely seems like the best to me because electric chair is terrifying. Yeah. Lethal injection, they're going to mess that up. And I know some States hang still.

That seems better. Hanging would be better than electric chair. And you know, if what they say about lethal injection being super painful might be better than that, I don't know. I think, but do the guy who, who's like, if they tried to implement electric chair right now, immediately people would be like, the fuck is wrong with you? But like it came about in a time where they're like electricity, a boundless world of energy and possibilities. And so then they just like, they just snuck that past the goalie where it's like, what's this one do? We instead of

shooting them? Is it cheaper? No. What's better about it? You get to see the arc off his skin. Not bloody. You get to see him not be bloody. Yeah, that would be- I feel like the electric chair and lethal injection are for the audience more than the victim. That's what I was going to say. Criminal? There's like, there's some blood for a, you know, for firing squad, there's blood, but

like really at least the guy's not suffering. Yeah, you know Edison wanted to back in the day Thomas Edison there was this thing between DC power and AC power and I think Edison was a DC proponent and He was saying AC was way too dangerous. And so to prove it He executed an elephant with like 6,000 volts of alternating current in the city square And it was the most gruesome thing you've ever seen there's black and white video of it. I think But he was like you see how dangerous AC is and I think people were like AC power Power strong enough to kill an elephant. It was like damn it. They took it the wrong way Yeah, what did Edison invent the things that he's famous for inventing or did he was a business?

He was like a modern day Steve Jobs, right? Yeah. I think he was. I said it backwards. He wasn't modern day. Yeah. Like an olden day, Steve. He seemed to rip a lot of people off too.

It seemed like there was a lot of ripping people off, stealing, borrowing and a little bit of inventing. It seemed like he was a better businessman and, and patenter than anything. Just like the telephone, right? Alexander Graham Bell didn't invent the telephone. It was that that Marconi guy who's an Italian. I know that because of the Sopranos. Nobody knows that a guy named Marconi invented the fucking telephone, but he did.

Poor Italian guy. Did did Alexander Graham Bell invent it in parallel or copy his design? I think he stole it. I think he stole it like straight up directly from him. He was like, I invented the telephone. And Alexander Graham Bell was like, I invented the telephone.

And that was kind of it. It's like no one could understand what the Italian guy was saying so he couldn't defend himself. That was it. He just stole his idea. I'm looking up worldwide methods for public execution. Where would you rank this in there? Stoning. Mauritania, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Yemen, Iran,

Brunei, Afghanistan. They all still do stoning. I'm shocked that someone's going to say that's got to be a popular one. I mean, because that's like a murderer's row of advanced good places. Yeah, I've seen stoning and it's slow paced. You need a ringer out there. Sometimes they have it. I saw one where it was like, oh, that wasn't too slow at all. Was it? Everybody here's got a fucking contract. if the Yankees see this Like there was just there's this one where there must be 50 people surrounding this guy and they usually I say usually I'm sure Plenty of innocent people get stoned in the Middle East But whenever I watch a video they're like this guy like Murdered three children or this it's it's often like sex crimes and deviancy and like when they start throwing

It's not like sex crimes and deviancy and like when they start throwing it's not like a stone here and there It's not like let you without sin cast the first stone and like one two three It's like 50 stones a hundred stones a hundred fifty stones like they're raining in so fast It looks like a hail storm and he tries to cover up But like people come in for coup de grace type like slams on him with big rocks It's rough to watch Yeah, I would not pick that way. They don't bury him or anything. It's just just like alright I've seen that too. I've seen them bury him in the sand with just their head sticking out too. That's what I've seen Yeah, well, I saw that on ace Ventura

the one I saw like it's like she it was a woman who was being stoned for adultery and uh I don't know the case in this sometimes they're raped but they're still guilty of adultery and then they take it out on the woman anyway and uh it was like the first 27 stones that hit her didn't hit her hard enough they just really hurt her and then like kind of her misery resented. I've seen that where it's like, it's like you're in the middle of being stoned to death and like you're getting winged off the kneecap and like getting your collarbone broken and stuff.

And it's like, this is the worst method of one of the worst public justice or whatever. It's definitely one of the worst that's still employed today and a pretty widespread kind of man. Middle East is wild, man. Aren't you glad we're over here? It's nicer over here.

Nobody's getting stoned. I mean, somebody's getting stoned. Yeah, that was rock. It's the beat. How about this? Death by animals. This was more ancient than it is now, but being crushed to death by elephants. I believe that was used in Southeast Asia, India. They haven't stepped on you? Would

they direct them to crush you? Yeah. So they'd lie you down and then they'd have the elephant step on you. Yes. And they just crush you. I watched the video two weeks ago of it was like some like bully beatdown style account on Twitter. And it was like showing this Indian guy on like a CCTV, like there's this elephant chained up with like three of its legs chained way too close together. So it's clearly having a little bit of trouble balancing. And then the other leg is like feeling around trying to balance better. And this guy's just behind him like, yeah, yeah, just like just he's not trying to get the elephant to move. He's just being a dickhead, just smacking this elephant and poking it and prodding it and bothering it and clearly not day one of this behavior. And then the elephant breaks out, kicks him, and then like tramples him to death in a way that like, it's an elephant. So I should have

anticipated this, but you die so easily to an elephant that's mad at you. This guy like got hit and like got hurt a little bit. And so he was bent over in the fetal position on his knees with his like backup and the elephant was like pushing a little bit on his back. Like he's pushing on the back. The guy's head is here. And he was just kind of pushing, getting a feel for where the guy was. And then he just crushed him like a bug. Just like just you. I just I'm glad there was no audio in the video because it probably would have been

more of a just watching it just literally died like the South Park. There's like no, I would say if you crush the elephant crushed me angrily. That's the noise. It's easy to forget how dangerous and strong some animals can be. Like, like, yeah, if Taylor wanted to drag me around by the wrist, he could. But it would take his effort. I'm not that light. But if a tiger wanted to do it, it would be like a woman with a purse, right?

Just like it but hardly an inconvenience flipping me around dragging me where he wanted me to go Yeah video the Indian guy Chinese couples driving through the park They're in that tiger park, which I guess exists in Asia and there's signs everywhere stay in your fucking car It's woman. This woman is like, who knows what they're arguing about? I know what Betty, what were they talking about? She wasn't happy with the way he was driving and wanted to switch seats. This bitch gets out of the passenger seat and walks around to the driver's seat and starts trying to tell her husband, apparently get out.

I'll drive us through the tiger park. Wouldn't you know it, a tiger comes out of nowhere. At the tiger park? And takes her away into the jungle. The tiger's in the jungle. And her husband is like, ah, all right, back in the car. He does not even. No, a prese.

He's already leaving. Yeah, I think I've seen that one too. We've all seen the Indian guy who jumped into a tiger enclosure at a zoo there. And like people said, or at least a little tagline on the article was like he wanted to kill himself. But he was in there, like coward with this like curious tiger coming up and he's like putting his hands up, like, I've either made a mistake or I fell in accidentally. And, like, just the realization that

no matter, like, it could have been Brock Lesnar in that cage, it wouldn't have made a difference. Like, as soon as the tiger decided, like, yeah, you don't smell that bad, you're food. And then just one clamp, not even like a big chomp of the jaws, just like a little, the way you'd clip a nail, like just grabs his neck and he's dead immediately. And he's just a limp rag doll getting carried up a tree. Carried him like a cat carries a rat. The way it's wrapped. Have you seen that one, Scott?

Have you seen all these? Oh, you need to watch more videos of like, yeah, you're not traumatized enough. People die. Well, the animals killing the people is better because it's usually people fucking with animals. You see the camel? Did you see the camel? The camel's getting beat by the guy

and it comes down and bites the guy right at the collarbone and picks him up into the air and flicks him and then proceeds to murder him. The camel does. And I was like, oh my God. I don't like people abusing animals. So whenever I see them like getting murdered by said animal, that's a happy day for me. Camels I think are like notoriously mean.

Like they're nasty. They'll be rude to you, aren't they? Really? I've known a few camels. Yeah, me too. Just a little bit. That's more than I've known. I've hand fed them and petted them and stuff.

Me too. And they were, they were cool. Oh, I thought they were known to be mean. Well, nevermind. I'm sorry, camels. We're sorry. We got your back. I'm trying to think of other good animals fucking people up videos.

It's been a long time since I've done a deep dive on that, but it requires poor security, either around wild animals or around zoos. And just as it happens, like the Chinese and Indian security in zoos must be very lax because it seems like it's always there. They got to, they got so many people over there. They're probably hoping like, do people kind of call themselves, you know? Yeah. In the blogger. Are camels mean? And what I learned is what the camel emoji means.

Does everyone know but me? That's how it is. Does it mean the cigarettes? It means I want to hump you. Oh. That I'm not using that one. Kyle does. Wow.

I didn't know. I didn't. I mean,, I just kind of anyway, put it together. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. About this blowing from a gun. Are you familiar with this method of execution? You see this sometimes in like, okay, so wait a minute. So very similar to that is something the British did to the Indians while they were occupying. It's not the word, not colonizing, raising them from the filth that they lived in. So when one of them would step out of line, they strap him to a cannon like his back would be to the barrel facing out. Please, sir.

There'll be no begging. Patel, you had your chance. And then they fire one of those artillery pieces, one of those field cannons, like through their back and out their chest. Yep, that's exactly what it is. You immediately knew where you got someone strapped to the front of a cannon and you just spend an entire cannon ball on the guy. They still do it in North Korea. Kim Jong-un killed his brother-in-law that way or something

or his uncle or something like that. I didn't catch on until the very end. Kyle's like, they strap him to a cannon and I'm like, right, right, that makes sense. Probably the loud boom is gonna scare him. Maybe even deafen them or something a little bit. I would hate being strapped to a cannon when it will. I didn't know they were in front of it. Parallel to it.

No, it wouldn't make any sense. They strapped it right in front of it so the barrel goes through them and they have a point blank shot. And be honest, I bet it doesn't hurt at all. I remember in a video where I used my bowling... I've got a bowling ball cannon and I used that thing to shoot a... I think a... A bowling ball, sometimes upward of two and a half feet and I think we shot that thing

past me and shot it at a chunk of meat or something but the damage that it did I was like that would that's instant death kind of damage that's that it's it's it's just so much force so I don't think you'd feel anything if someone shot off like a especially like a four or five inch gun through your back out your chest. Oh, yeah, you'll just you'll just explode Yeah, I mean I imagine your brain lives for a few seconds later But I mean I keep saying in my experience my worst injuries are not the most painful That's what I was gonna say like when you have a traumatic injury You don't feel the pain and like in that moment't feel the pain in that moment, most of the time.

So I think a cannon blowing your innards out, you're just going to go into some kind of instant shock for the two seconds you might be conscious. I don't think you're feeling anything. RG How about this method, going back to ancient Rome called Poina Cullae. to ancient Rome called Poina Culli. And it is the punishment consisted of being, this is like a, I'm Steve-O and I'm, the punishment consists of being sewn up in a leather sack with a dog, a snake, a monkey and a rooster and then thrown in the water.

And then they just assume you're dead. From the concoction, from the loony coons, a dust pile like a dog head and then a snake and then your head. The dog partners up. How are we going to get out of this boss? Now together, it's really the snake that's the problem. If we can neutralize that, I can use my fingers to get out of the way. Oh, my God. That's so stupid. That's like that had to have been invented when like Rome was maybe on the downturn.

They're not banging on all cylinders anymore. I think it's the opposite. You only come up with an idea like that. If you have a lot of free time on your hand. You know, like they weren't like, oh my God, there's not enough grain to make it to me. They were like, what are we going to do today? We got so many snakes and dogs. Somebody go get a big sack. Jim, come here. I got an idea. That's what they're like funding research for it. They're like, all right, we'll be writing on it like a tablet, like six chickens doesn't work. What else do we have? Like, what else can we put in there with them? Two snakes? No, that's too fast.

I say we had a rooster, my Lord. Is he going to like pack him or like what? I don't know. It'd just be funny. And here's a rooster. You were, you were on the money Kyle. They were doing it in the heyday like prime room because Hadrian was emperor when they were doing some of this. This wasn't like, oh, Hadrian, weird. Wait, one of the good ones. One of the good ones. All hadrian. That's what they call them. Right. The what are they? There's like three or four good emperors of Rome. And I think they just plainly call them the good emperors. There was only like three or four. Yeah. Yeah. It was like Alexander the great looking down his long Roman nose at the good ones. Yeah, Macedonian nose and it was crafted by the gods. Okay.

He's all he's over there to the east. I'm Alexander the great and you're Woody the good. Woody the good man. Usually I do like the animal execution. Who was your leader? Alexander the great of Macedonia, emperor of the free lands and lord of the endless prairie. Oh shit. Whose is yours? The good.

No, it's Hannibal the gay. That's him. That's him over there sprying the donkey. You think that's bad? I served Kyle, but not that bad. Yeah. Dude, it's funny. I'm riding the donkey. You think that's bad? I served Kyle, but not that bad. Do they?

It's funny when you'll I'll do this sometimes when I'm stoned. I'll just go through really old like lists of like who were the rulers of fucking Sweden in the 500s. And every once in a while, like after a string of like Eric, Erickson the Feared, there will be a guy where it's like Olaf the Inept. And then you like read about it and it's like, Olaf the Inept was known for frittering away

his entire father's inheritance and losing untold amounts of resources in the Swedish Highlands or whatever. And it's like, oh man, he remembered it. There was that guy who was gay and he created that like personal guard of super soldiers who had to be tall and handsome and wear mustaches but he wouldn't let them fight because they were so precious to him so he and he spent like huge amounts of money like making his own like spartan 300 in some tiny european

nation that could have used that money for grain. I remember that story. Is it the Potsdam Giants? Where it was a Prussian infantry regiment, where they all had to be a certain height and it was more like, all right, when we're going to a foreign land and we bring like a, like one battalion of guys, we bring the Prussian, the podstum giants, and they intimidate people. That's really smart if you think about it. Like if you're from a faraway land that, and they're not familiar with you. It's like, remember when the Olympics happened in Beijing, and the Chinese had that opening ceremony with like 10,000 people playing the drums perfectly, and it was scary as fuck? Like I think that's the impression you want to make when you see the people from across the sea.

You all want to be six foot six with big mustaches and thick cocks. Like you want them to see you and think that and then you want to make some comment about like, yes I couldn't bring my good regiment. These are the rejects. Yes, they're caught in the Marine Corps. They serve me as my, my fool's god, I call them. Come boys, come boys come boys if you can watch they're falling that like really play down how tough they are when yeah you've squeezed your whole economy into making those giant men looks like their minimum requirement to be a member of the Potsdam Giants was six foot two and this is the year ladies like 1650 yeah everybody was malnourished as fuck.

So yeah, and they were just tinier people back then. You look at what the they measured it, obviously with World War II, when you would enlist or be drafted or what have you, they check your weight. So many of those guys weighed like 140 pounds most of them were 140 and then they go through basic and they'd come out like 160 somebody they gained like 15 20 pounds and basic a big part of that was obviously the the working out But they got a good meal for the first time in a while There's a lot of poor country boys and such that you know, that was the first time they've had three good meals a day in a while That's why breakfast was pushed is because of that. They were like, Oh fuck,

like people are coming in here way underweight. We got to get these dudes eating more. Uh, Hey, hey, have you ever heard of breakfast? The most important meal of the day. It's where you get your first seven servings of cereal to make you think about second breakfast. Yeah. Did some of these killing by animals. Obviously we know about tearing apart by horses. A classic. But then I guess some areas were just like throw, throw a lot of scorpions on a guy.

Mmm. And then let it happen. No, just kind of dump a bag of scorpions on. happen. No, just kind of dump a bag of scorpions on them. You need like poisonous scorpions though, unless they were allergic. I'm afraid of scorpions. I think visually, they're the most intimidating animal on the planet. I think if you didn't know how big a scorpion was, it's visually the scariest thing on this planet. That's true. It's got those mean pincers. It's got the

same eyes, the pincers, the tail, six legs, like the whole thing. I mean, it's way up there, right? Like, I'm trying to think of tail, six legs, like the whole thing. It's terrifying. It's way up there, right? Like I'm trying to think of something scarier, right? Pound for pound. Spiders are scary, but I think scorpions have them. Maybe those ghosts that lay their eggs in you, but you have to know that it's going

to do that to you. I think spiders are scarier, but mainly because there's like an unknown quantity when you see a spider. It's like they're so twitchy and shit like that. Like I feel like scorpions, if they're going to come at you, they're just going, they're going to come at you straight. But like if you went at a spider with like anything like like a fucking gun, you know, I feel I feel like it just knows like, oh, it's about a press.

Better move. Yeah. And then there's a fuck. He hit you in the back. The spider would be sneaky and he hit you in the back. The spider would be sneaky and he'd hit you in the back and the scorpion would take you head on. I like that. I like that. Yeah. And probably true. They were sentient. I mean, if you were to do like a bug comparison intellect chart, I feel like spiders would have to be, you know, they're not beetles. Like they're definitely higher than that. Maybe ants would be higher than we know, they're not Beatles. Like they're definitely higher than that.

Maybe ants would be higher than we think. Cause they're like that hive works together so well. That web stuff they do is really interesting. You know, they've given them LSD spiders and then watch. And then to see how they make a web then it's like, I try to make it perfect now, jackass. Have a hard time. Have a hard time.

Well, not anymore, Kyle. Trump cut the program That finds the pictures of webs made by spiders on LSD Yeah, I've seen that graphic all the different drugs We're like any drug throws them off in a big way even caffeine had them all fucked up what that says to me though It's what they're doing requires some sort of like Front brain shit, and it's not all like you know how dog points instinctively and like you don't have to teach him that he's just pointing

I'm like I you could think that maybe the web is that that it's just programmed in all right and then left and then up And to the left and then up into the left some pattern But you give them some drugs and they have a hard time remembering what to do Oh, yeah spiders can be affectionate to like if you get tarantulas and shit like that Which like somehow that makes them like scarier to me. I don't know. I agree. I agree but you'd like to think of them as unthinking and Therefore incapable of anything of any like plotting against you or, or holding a grudge against

you. That's the biggest fear that an animal would hold a grudge against you. And so you wouldn't know that he was shooting you straight when he smiled at you. Like if your dog would be friendly with you today, but really be thinking, just wait, motherfucker, just wait. Like that'd be the worst. That'd be the worst. You don't want to deal with an animal like that. That's what those orcas are like. That's what tigers are like There's a lot of this what chimps are like If you wrong them, there was a story about a tiger Rose a tiger had killed some prey It was eating it and a hunter shoots the tiger wounds the tiger The tiger tracked the hunters down to his house miles away and killed him like like wounded like they took it personally

Yeah, he's like Michael Jordan Michael Jordan and I took that personally. And also it's like a smart animal like a tiger. That's all that it has on its agenda now. It doesn't have anything else to do. It's like a solitary creature. It's like, all right, now I'm all about killing you now. I'm going to find a right to pay. No, it's got nothing to do but kill you. And those chimps are the, you know, I think they do the same thing. I think that they plot against people who have wronged them or treated them poorly. If I was going to have anything to do with those trim, those champ situations, I'd be so sweet. He would think of me as the guy who's always got a toy in one hand and a treat in the other and

smiles. No, don't smile. That's weakness. Yeah. Frown, don't smile. That's weakness. Frown, but not aggressively. Yeah. The guy who never makes eye contact with me because he's sweet or whatever they want to think of me. I'd be nice to those monkeys. I don't want to get pulled apart. Whenever I see that they bite the fingers off. I thought you were joking about that. No, they did bite him clean off. You want to talk about a spider instinctively making a web or a dog instinctively pointing. Chimpanzees instinctively bite your digits off because that's how they disarm their chimpanzee opponents in the wild.

Because without fingers, you can't grapple. They tear them, they bite them. One, two, three, they like eat them off. Like, it's not like a mauling where it's all just vicious and like, all right, let's get these fingers off now. They don't grow back. And they're chips. It's a problem. They don't grow back and it's're like, all right, let's get these fingers off now. They don't grow back. And they're chips. It's a problem.

They don't grow back and it's not like, like if I were like, I'm some mafia, you know, torturer. If I'm biting someone's fingers off, I'm spitting them out afterward. Like I'm bite, spit, bite, spit. The monkeys just finger off. You've already got your opponent pinned down. Enjoy your snack. Like they're like eating the fingers as they're doing it. They're not just biting.

Yeah. That's why a bear is so bad to be killed by because they'll actively eat you alive. They'll just they'll hold. You've seen them eat salmon like that, but they'll hold you down and then rip chunks out of your back and devour you. Like, and you can imagine how long it would take to die from something chewing on your back and devour you. And you can imagine how long it would take to die from something chewing on your back. I'd be like trying to manipulate my neck up. Take my neck. I take it back. Major injuries are very painful. Yeah. You're like, oh, that'd be terrible. A bear would be an awful animal to be eaten by. We've talked about this before. Big cats, obviously, the goat animal to be killed by. They don't want to eat you if you're still alive. They just want

you dead first. So then they can go like drag my big body up. Hyenas might be up there. I think same thing. Hyenas, I imagine them just like feverishly going. No. Oh, I don't know. I've seen it that where hyenas go after male lions balls. I think they're just having fun because they hate male lions and they eat their young. They're a big part of hyena diet is bones because they have the most powerful jaws in the animal kingdom. I think they have you met Taylor. Yeah. Well, second, you're fine. He's able to bite the bones and get to the marrow. That's true. This is the source of my virility. This is all the marrow that I suck down.

Yeah, I have heard that. I think that's how our ancient ancestors in Africa, like origin, that's why our brains really began to grow is because we got access to bone marrow and by cracking open the bones of like lion kills and stuff like that. My favorite theory for why humans got big brains is when people that absolutely love doing mushrooms are like, it's actually this drug I like that did it. It's definitely this. And it's like, I don't know, brother. I'm okay with that, with that theory. I like the, the, the stoned ape theory or whatever it's called. The idea that our monkey like ancestors ate some like

psychedelic mushrooms and that opened their minds up to some ideas that hadn't occurred to them before. Maybe just a little philosophical idea, like I am me and you are you. Just that sort of recognition popped into their monkey brains because of some mushrooms. I could imagine that being true.

I don't think it taught them the secrets of the universe or anything, because when I take psilocybin, it just makes me sick to my tummy and I can't think it like taught them the secrets of the universe or anything. Cause it doesn't, when I take psilocybin, it just makes me sick to my tummy. And I, I can't walk straight. Yeah. It doesn't seem like you would, you would take it and be like, some, I'm, I have an idea for something I'll call it fire. Like, no, you would just be like, I'm so much more scared of spiders than I was

earlier, probably all over our campsite. What the fuck was that one kind of spider that we all saw that's new, that's got the spiny tail that stings you and the claws? What a scary animal that was. Dude, being the first guy to find animals like that in the wild, be like running back to your camp, you're not going to believe it. And they're like, oh, you again, you with your nonsense, a scorpion. When the Romans would come back and tell tales of elephants and giraffes, no one would believe them.

They had to bring them back before people believed those animals were real. So when they would have those spectacles in Rome, which I think is fucking cool. Like, I wish we did that. You know, they'd go to Germania, they'd beat the shit out of them, they'd conquer them, and then they'd come back with like a parade.

And the parade would involve like all the Germanian treasure up on a parade float. And then they'd have the Germanian king up there too. They'd slap him around in front of everybody like, look what we did. You know, they'd prop him up, put his stupid king crown. But we don't conquer cool people anymore. We're gonna like win a war and be like, this is non-bread. Okay. Boo! We want a cool guy. We're gonna like win a war and be like this is non-bread. Okay We want a cool guy we kind of like with Saddam they kind of did that I wonder I wonder if the US had anything to do with I Don't know that video of his execution getting out and like the whole thing. Do you saw Saddam get hung, right? Yeah

Hanged yeah. Yes. Yeah, Kyle. It's hanged when you're talking about a person. Or dragged. It's never drugged. Well, yeah. If you're hauling them somewhere, they're being dragged. Honestly, that like going to the, like imagine you're a baker, you finish up your hard day of baking and it's like, oh, fuck. They've got the animal event at the Coliseum this evening. I'm absolutely going. And then you see wonders beyond your wildest dreams and you have no conception of like how regal

these animals are in the wild. You just have like some fat guy up there being like, and now the beasts from darkest Africa with their king atop. And it's just some guy like hogtied to the top of a boar that they let run out there and then get speared. That's so much better than TV. Yeah, that would be sick.

And you wouldn't care. They would fill that thing with water. The fact that they would fill that thing with water and have naval battles out there, that must have been so cool. That must have been incredible that they had boats out there like replicating naval fights and then but with real people and killing them. That's awesome. I wish we still did that.

Same. We could just fill up like Ohio State Stadium with water. Have those bumper boats, you know, the round ones, the little outboard motors go to town. Oh, I like that. We do like a pirate thing, but this time they're Somalis in little Oh, I like that. We do like a pirate thing, but this time they're Somalis in their little motorboats going around trying to conquer each other on the seas. Have you gone through those deep dives, Scott, reading about the Colosseum and all the animal fights? Yeah. Yeah. I'm more into the gladiatorial shit, like, you know, between the guys. I like the Murmillos and shit like that. But like, yeah, I've seen the, I saw them personally.

I hopped in my time machine and I saw a Christian get killed by a lion. That would be pretty fucked up. Yeah, yeah. It's the biggest animal you can take, Scott. That's a tough one because like, uh, uh, in an octagon, no weapons, you, that animal in an octagon,

your natural habits. The first, the first thing that comes to mind is a dog, but like, I know I could take bigger than that. But I know there's no way I'm, what's that? I could take away. I'm thinking blue whale. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the sea stuff. You have to wait it out. He's 100 feet long.

A moderate bear. Like, I was gonna, I was gonna say a bull, right? Because I could use the matador strategy, but instead of like stabbing it with shit, I just keep like, like running and gunning with it. I just like throw a couple punches and then just like get the hell out of there. RG Let's just punch at the side of a bull's head, break your knuckles. JG Look, I'm no MMA fighter. I have punched a bull in the head before though.

And I'm going to tell you, it wasn't even close. It wasn't. Really? Is it that bad? It felt like it was three inches fucking thick. It felt like I was hitting like a piece of oak on an old Navy vessel or something that was like a tree. It felt like something that had no give.

And there's like curly Q hair up there to soften in the blow and his head was as hard as a goddamn rock I tried to we tried to break the ribs on a pig one time dead pig one time because we watch rocky You know rock you're on those he practiced on those sides of beef and he break the ribs He was in it so hard and I was like, I wonder if we could punch hard enough to break a pig's ribs turns out nah, you just like twist your wrist sideways. It's a good way to get a wrist injury. We're all walking around rubbing our wrists that day. And the fuck is this? Bone? Just fucking your hand up.

Yeah. I know Kyle and I grew up around, I was gonna say more cattle than the average person, but I guess most people don't have any cattle in their childhood. But like- Cattle in the yard, cattle like every day, seeing cattle, like wrangling cattle and- You underestimate the size and speed and toughness of those animals if you haven't been around them.

Like if Brock Lesnar is like, hey, Brock, you've got to knock out this just run of the mill cow, just right in the forehead, hard as you can, Brock. The cow is going to look at him with hurt eyes. What have I done to offend you? That almost bothered me a little. Like, Brock Lesnar would hurt his hand. Like, it is. It's just a plate of bone. Just nothing but bone up there. It's not no brains to protect hardly. It's just bone. We had one go feral one time. We moved and it didn't get caught in time, so it lived in the forest and went feral. And it got caught again eventually and returned to us. And it went crazy when we turned it loose in our pasture.

And dad, it was trying to tear through a fence to get to the highway. And dad was on the other side of the fence fighting it with a shotgun, like beating it with the butt of the shotgun. And it's trying to kill him. It's actively trying to get to him and he's hitting her in the face with the shotgun saying,

go back, go back, go back. And finally she's halfway through and he boom shoots her in the neck. And on the other side of the fence where she's trying to get to is a ditch. We're on the side of the road. Then, you know, he's standing in the road and the ditch is there and then the fence

and she falls neck under her 2000 pound body into the ditch upside down. And dad comes back to the house, which isn't very far away. It's within eyesight and starts calling to get the cow process because we're not going to let a whole cow meet on the ground. And they're like, how much does he weigh?

He's like, I don't know. And he looks up to kind of and she's up again. She's gotten up and she's torn through that fence and crossed that road. And now she's running through a different field yonder way toward Highway 17, which is where like semi trucks and go past. So dad gets in the truck and starts chasing her with a cattle trailer attached through ditches, across fields, through fences, just tearing through them.

The whole thing is so loud. You can hear it from our house. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. The trailer doors are all open, like nothing's secure. He's just driving. And she hears him coming and stops, turns around and charges the truck. He turns the truck sideways. So his window is facing her and grabs his rifle and points it out the window and gives her one to the chest and drops her in that field.

And then we took her to the processor place and we ate her for the next two years. They're all as well that ends well. But yeah, they're incredibly tough. They're giant animals. Like it's because they're nice that they don't fuck you up. And because like, they're like dogs in that. I always enjoyed it as a very young kid when my grandpa would go out there. And for some reason, I had it in my head that he had trained his cows when really it was just naturally when he would start yelling at him and shaking that big Elmer five gallon bucket that he used to scoop the feed out. they could be all the way across in a different pasture. And if you picked up that bucket and went like, shh, like, not even shakka shakka shakka, just like one shakka,

like they would, one of them would pick up on it, then all the rest would pick up on it, and there would just be a huge flow of cattle coming back. And I was so impressed. I'm like, wow, my grandpa's a farmer. He's trained all of his cows like dogs. And it's like, no, they're, they're just hungry and they're smart, probably as smart as most dogs. Absolutely as smart as a dog. And they do exactly what you're talking about. Like you can, you can call them and shake that bucket of feed. And I mean, they drop what they're doing and come running in a straight line. They're, they're real smart. I always felt bad about, you know, catching their babies and selling them. Which is what we did like every spring.

That's the world they're in though. You know, they wouldn't be alive if we weren't eating them, right? Justifying something. I mean, I guess. I saw a thing the other day about why the North and South Americans were so easily bowled over and what he always talks about. They'd never figured out how to invent the fence. And I want to learn more about like what was going on.

What actually went on in part, there are no domesticated animals in North or South America other than the llama and extreme South America. There are none. The horse isn't from North or South America, it's from Europe. It was introduced in the late 1500s, early 1600s by us, along with smallpox. No domesticateable, for farming or like,

there were no dogs? Or anything. I don't know about dogs. Well, but you don't eat dogs, you know, they sort of- Right, well, you domesticate them, but dogs. Well, but you don't eat dogs, you know, they sort of- Well, you domesticate them, but okay. I don't understand that though, like we're humans. We can't feed, because I've heard that shit

where it's like, you can't domesticate zebra. And it's like, have we really tried though? Yes, literally. Zebras have this defense mechanism. When you try to lasso them, they instinctively duck. It makes it really hard to lasso a zebra. But other than that, the hardware inside of a zebra's head

is not horse hardware. Are they dumber? They're wilder and more petulant and less, and also their group structure's completely different. The way a horse herd works, you have the head stallion and then his girl and then their kids behind them. And then behind that will be like the betas

and on and on and on. There's a very strict hierarchy. So when you tame the leader of a horse herd and you ride the leader, you become de facto the leader. So they'll all just follow you back home anyway. Like it's there because of that structure, they're very easy to domesticate. There's only been 13 animals domesticated by human kind, I think.

And that's only if you include the silkworm and something else that the honey. Count that. Those are kind of cheap. Well, honeybee can count silkworm. Come on. It's going to make silk no matter where it is. Right. Well, you got to like get a bunch of them together to have the amount of silk that you would need to create a garment.

Yeah, they're going to fight back. I know when Taylor first started talking, I was like, I'd seen a YouTube video about domesticating zebras and the YouTube video basically said, there's such assholes that it's hard to get that out of them. They're scared to death. Horses are frightened. They don't hold a candle to zebras. Those things are just in a permanent stage of like backed into a corner rage sort of animal. Okay. But what if we like selectively bred the nicest ones for generations and generations? I mean, wolves aren't that domesticatable until they're dogs. Yeah,hmm. Yeah. I totally, like, if they selectively did that, for generations, we could absolutely get zebras to calm down a little bit and still keep them strong enough to, like, pull plows. Like, for sure. How would it not work?

And the pull-ups would be either dope. Well, why haven't we tried it yet, though, is the question. We have. We have. They failed. Like, if it were possible, it would have been done. Dude, we've been to the moon and we have nukes. There's no way we've tried and failed. Can we slip about the last year? Think about the last 100000 years. I'm OK. We saw this one and we take some of that.

Some of that Iraqi Sesame Street money. We funnel it into zebra. I'm down. Oh, I got it. I got to say that Trump said that there was some money going to transgender mice. So trans Genic mice and and but are you sure? Yes Genic mice it's it's mice experiments that are over my head cuz it's science shit and and whoever's working for Trump who was like Here sir. Here's another one. They got transgender mice like did you just miss read or you just miss leaning on purpose? Like what you have a list of a hundred ridiculous things and you have to make one up and the worst part is we cut the funding

For the transgender genetic mice and I think they needed it. Yeah Well, I guess it involves Alzheimer's It involves breast cancer research and like some shit that everyone's for. Of course, the medical science. Yeah, and a transgenic, this is brand new to me. I learned about it today. Me too. I guess what it means is that they,

like when it was still an embryo, they made some DNA level modification to the mouse and then ran experiments on it. It's not about mice that identify as women or anything like that. Like you give it all the mammoth mice. Did you see the woolly mammoth mice, Taylor? Yes, I did see the woolly mammoth mice and that I'm a big fan. Scott, where do you come down on bringing back ancient animals?

I mean, I think it'd be cool to see a woolly mammoth. Exactly. What do they make a mouse into a woly mammoth using like a genome shit. I think they had to figure out the wooly part first. So they got some some wooly mice, which means eventually we can use some of that that mammoth DNA we have to make some cool ass man. It just looks like they brushed it backwards and called it cool. You can see before and after he's all wooly now. This is like-

That's adorable. It's like- When I've got my dog the wrong way, he's halfway there. You know, it's not mind boggling, but it's the beginning of progress in the wooly thing. Yeah, I like that. There's been an ongoing, there's two different things they're doing.

They're trying to bring back the Tasmanian tiger and they're also trying to bring back the wooly mammoth. They have DNA from both of them. I've seen them explain how they're going to do it. I'm good with both of those. I don't care about, like if they brought the dodo back, I wouldn't even stop by that exhibit at the zoo, like some boring bird that doesn't stay in here. Apparently they're incredibly friendly like like you could just walk up to one and pick it up and then carry it back to camp like it was a domesticated chicken that lived in the wild basically a big fat one though oh okay well i didn't know that maybe i'd be fine with them then but as far as cool things go i'd rather see like an actual dinosaur i know that's never gonna happen because if we're

still if we're making really really, really furry mice, we're a million years from a dinosaur. Here's the thing about an actual dinosaur. So like our ability to, our genetics tech, like if we're on the tech tree of genetics, is like really low right now. But if you think about the way, the DNA makes us what we are.

And so there is a code for dinosaur. If we could learn to write DNA from scratch, did it just, you know what I mean? Then we can make our own dinosaur. So it's not like it's impossible to get it. We need to know the recipe or what I would prefer, you just do it like the Disney way. Like it just needs to look like the original recipe.

It doesn't matter if they taste like the dinosaurs did 65 million years ago. Just make it look like Jurassic Park and the world will be thrilled. If you could, if you could write DNA, you could create a real Jurassic Park. It would be like the movie. It would be that thing where, where every billionaire in the world would pay anything to take their kids to Jurassic Park. Yeah. I'd love that. Jurassic Park would be so sick. We'd go on coupon day. And if we're gonna make them, like if we're gonna change them around anyway, no feathers. No feathers, no feathers, no no no,

no no no. These are 90s dinosaurs. Perf, Scott, where do you come down on the feathers versus scales debate? The right or the wrong side? Yeah, I mean, there's there's something less intimidating about feathers on a on a T-Rex. Yes. It just it's it's just not right. You know? Yeah. It's not right. It really it cheapens the intensity of what we taught. We were taught they were like all about, which is like kings of the world.

Toed with an Have you ever stood toe to toe with an ostrich or an emu? No and I wouldn't want to because ostriches they're big and scary. They're intimidating and when you get a look at their feet they have this thumb that's like a pretty gnarly claw and I'm told they try to disembowel you like a raptor would from Jurassic Park. Like we were always warned when we were out there around them. People would be like, hey, don't approach that. Like we would be fucking around with all sorts of wild animals out there. But when we mess with the emu, they're like, hey, be careful around that.

Be careful around him. Keep your eye on him. Like everybody was afraid of that thing. I don't know. The feathers don't. I would prefer no feathers. Yeah, of course. But if the feathers don't, I would prefer no feathers. Yeah, of course. But if the feathers are the way they are, then I want them to be their true selves. Or how about a,

I wouldn't know if they had feathers. How about a saber tooth? That would be awesome to see in the zoo. Taylor, on the feather thing, would you change your mind if the feathers were dope? Like if they look like peacocks or something? If they had like, even pigeons are beautiful with their feathers.

There's a lot of great looking feathered animals. It's not even we are, we are playing with genetics. What if, what if we like bedazzled the fuck out of them? Like we had lightning bolts like that with the feathers. That would be sick. I'd like that. But really if I'm going, if I'm going to see a T rex, there's just like a level of maybe it's part of my primal monkey brain, but like I have less fear in my heart for a feathered animal than I do like a scaled animal, like an alligator or a snake.

Flames on the side, like a fifties hot brad, right? If we're fucking with genetics and be cool, right? Give it a Mohawk, give it, give it, fucking with genetics. And be cool. Right. Give it a mohawk. Give it a, give it a pig. Yeah. Or not a dinosaur, but another animal I would want to see brought back. And Kyle, I know for a fact, you'll know what this one is. Scott, you may as well. The, was it called the giant sloth bear or the giant anteater? It was some enormous fucking bear that they say lived in the Americas thousands of years ago. The short-faced bear. Short-faced bear. The short-faced bear. There's actually a supposed modern day, not modern,

certain sort of modern human interaction with a short-faced bear or a short-faced bear hybrid, perhaps. I can't remember what they call it. They call it like McCallan's bear or something. The guy, after the guy who shot it, but it was like 1880s and he shot a gigantic blonde bear. And no one knows what species it was exactly. And there's been, people have often thought that maybe it was an ancestor of a short-faced bear or a short-faced bear hybrid.

They were enormous, like way, way bigger than a grizzly. There's, if Zach can find a picture of like the short-faced bear, like compared to the grizzly and compared to a human, it's shocking. We would have dealt with those things when we were crossing the Bering Land Bridge from Russia over into North America.

And it's presumed that the short-faced bear is a big part of why humans didn't make it here sooner that they had to contend with short faced bears on the lake, on the Bering land bridge and up in like what would have been the Aleutians and, um, um, Northern North, uh, Western Canada, uh, all up there around, around that area, a 2000 pound bear. That's like 12 feet tall. Like that's like there's like if that sees you in a boat, you're fucked.

How do you guys feel about hunting the new or the new old animals? I'm fine with it as long as we make enough. Yeah, yeah. So I like that idea. I know some, I've known some people out in Texas who have those big game ranches. And at first I thought that was kind of lame because I grew up hunting on like hunting, hunting, just going out into woods and looking for deer. And what they do is they import wild game from all over the world and they fence it in in Texas. And then people pay to go out there and shoot them. But it turns out that that funds conservation efforts.

And without the money that comes in from raising a few for hunters to kill, you don't have the money or the impetus to preserve some of those species of antelope and such that only exist primarily now in North America. Like some of those species are so endangered that there aren't any more in Asia or Africa or maybe there's a few dozen. But then there'll be like 3,000 here that some guys raising in Texas to shoot and they'll be like, ah, you can't shoot them anymore. He's like, all right, well, I'll slaughter all 3,000, I guess. Like they were here to be paid to come and shot. I'll put whitetail or caribou or something in there now. Yeah.

So I'm, I'm, I'm down with hunting them. Yeah. Yeah. That might be the only way to keep them around. I would want lots of Raptor. There's a certain danger with it too. You know, like, like you fence them, you fence caribou and, and it's like, okay, it's just caribou, but like you'd be entering the arena To have to shoot a short face there. You'd need like a fucking anti tank rifle. Yeah, go like World War one That PTRS

Yeah, yeah Yeah, quick scoping with the PTRS one of the ugliest guns in any call duty ever I can remember how fat the crosshairs were such a piece of shit. Yeah, I hated the PTRS, one of the ugliest guns in any Call of Duty ever. I can remember how fat the crosshairs were. Such a piece of shit. Yeah, I hated the PTRS, but it was the only like high caliber semi-automatic sniper in that entire game. That's a garbage game. That was a garbage game. Well, the war sucked.

If it weren't for Nazi zombies, that would have just disappeared into the ether immediately. It was only zombies that kept it around because I remember when we were all. I became the better developer over time. Well, that's because Infinity War got cored out. It was only zombies that kept it around. Because I remember when we were all making- You're 100% right. Betrayer became the better developer over time. Well, that's because Infinity War got cored out, you know, like during, before Modern Warfare 2s. Like a lot of the people left Infinity War.

That's part of why Modern Warfare 2 got left to rot. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But I remember, like, we were all making videos at the time that like World at War was big, big quote unquote. You guys remember so many people played and made like three videos of that game and then we're like, all right. Hey everyone, we're back to Call of Duty 4. And then just played that one through because it's, it was seen enters and it was so good. They were the only two like medium to large size youtubers who did content on it and i remember wings was more more of that medium size and seniors was more of that large size and wings was always like motherfucker where where are the guys over here holding the flag for world at war and this son of a bitch can't give me a dual com scott were you on uh were you on YouTube at all watching back in the day with all those COD videos or were you not playing COD? I mean, I was playing COD, but I wasn't watching a ton of videos. I do

know what you're talking about World at War. I like Call of Duty for the campaign a lot. The online is fun, but the campaign is kind of what makes it for me and even the World at War Campaign it had like a strong start and then like by mission three or four I was just like what the fuck is this like this is no fun. I liked it. I liked that campaign I like the Pacific stuff and I liked the in it they ripped off that movie enemy at the gates You know with that whole scene where every time the the bombs fall or the thunder Strikes you you snipe somebody out there's the in the movie the the the officers taking a shower and he's in facility Zaitsev is

Shooting them every time the the bombs fall so that the others don't realize he's shooting they completely ripped that scene off I thought was okay. No if that was a real-life practice Something you might know sure sure I mean, I don't know of any specific examples of people like doing that, but I'm sure people have done that. Yeah, I don't know how long bombs drop. Like if you told me, Woody,

shoot when you hear a gunshot, so they think it's just one shot, it's not gonna sound like one shot. It's gonna go boom, boom. Everyone will know. I don't know how bombs work. So they're trying to cover a fart with a cough. Yeah, it doesn't work.

My timing was off. I'm sorry. My timing was off. Sorry, guys. Can I take it from the top? Can I try that again? I remember hating the bouncing Betty's in those blame They had they were somehow better than modern-day claymores who were anywhere near that thing and it would fuck you up You know if you stepped on it it like shoots out of the ground I thought you could go prone and they became like hardly an inconvenience maybe later on but I don't think in World at War you Could I think maybe a later game they gave you that sort of maybe black react save yourself I've definitely played a game that does what you're talking about The main problem was that mp40 jug and like like that was the the play style to play and

You know, I didn't have good maps. There were some I played game battles for that game. I played 2v2 Uh team death match game battles on world at war me and sock. I know your strategy we would play on Do you remember the map silo? for me and soccer. I know your strategy. We would play in a, do you remember the map CELO? Huge. CELO is so big that it was in the like big team battle. Like there would be tanks on that map playing.

Like somebody- It's like 18v18 or something. Nah, I'm exaggerating. Maybe it was 12v12. 12v12 at least. It was 99, 12v12, something like that. Like double teams probably. It was like, and there would be vehicles

and it was that big. We played 2v2 TDM on that map, hardcore TDM. So we get one kill and we'd lay in the grass and not together, we split up and lay in the grass. And the time was for game battles. No, no, it's all about upsetting them because this is game battles. They're gonna like, we're on a ladder of people competing

and we're gonna like, you know, we're recording these wins for the end of the season. So the people we're playing against are Furious they are like searching everywhere for us in the grass and like after the match So you guys the biggest pussy fucking losers and it's two out of three So we gotta play him again So then we just slaughter him in the second game because it's a regular map I got all mad and disputed against us. We had to get out. That was world at war. So I'm sure were you talking shit in the lobby? Of course. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We're it's game battle. So we, the way game battles works is we're in a private lobby and it's like, Hey, I'm, I'm Kyle. You're

Dave. All right. Nice to meet you. I got the rules all set. Y'all ready to start. You host the next one. And it's like, like and you know people are taking pictures We don't have at the time like camera phones weren't even a thing yet So everybody's got a digital camera and they're taking snapshots of their screens to prove they won the match You need proof if they dispute. Yeah, what I hated was there were rules You had to set up the private match They we didn't play under the default like time limit or rules or whatever. And it was real easy to get something wrong. And that's a forfeit. And it's a forfeit. And

that something wrong could be very unimportant. It would have no impact on the way that the game played out. But you still lose if you get it wrong. I'd even host. I'd rather give you host advantage than have to set up the rules perfectly. Yeah, that's true. Speaking of shit talking in in games, obviously a fun pastime everyone's enjoyed. Scott enjoys it so much that you're the Scott's the only person I know who got temporarily banned from the Age of Empires 2 chat function in game for harassing for talking so much shit to people. How long was that? Like a week you couldn't talk to people? Well the first the first couple of times was 24 hours and then the most recent time was was seven days. Yeah. Did you get banned for talking shit or for using inappropriate words?

I mostly for talking shit. Because because me, like I have that Boston in me where I just immediately want to like, like I can't I can't play by the rules even of AOE shit talk where it's like you just hit double ones and hit enter. You know, I want to be like, you fucking pussy, you fucking cocksuck it. Like that's, that's me, you know? And, um, I, I just, I just embraced the fact that I'm going to be a toxic player on AOE. It's that one game where I'm like, nah, I'm going to get mad about this, you know?

And I like it because sometimes like you'll be borderline out Scott and I play together and like he'll have gotten hit hard. He's barely still in the game. I'm trying to carry, you know, my side of the map. And like when most people in Scott's position would be like, all right, I got to find some village. I got to re boom over here. I got to do this.

Scott will just be like, no, we're not rebuilding. And you'll just in the chat be like, you're hitting the button to make sure everyone can see it. And be like, you're fucking trash, dude. Hey, Teal, you're fucking garbage. And then like you say, no, no words. And it puts up asterisks and the guy will like respond to be fuddled. I'll be like, I just, I just like eliminated you, man. And Scott's like like nah, dude, whatever you say, whatever you say champ, you fucking suck dick at this game, bro. He's totally defeated and I'm talking so much shit to people. I was telling them how you can see like intra Asian racism on that game and it kills me

seeing some Vietnamese guy be like, you just a Chinese pig, like just just furious at people. They really get, there's no part of Asian culture that's like, don't be racist. If anything, there's a huge amount that's like, yeah, we are Vietnam. We're number one. They all jealous. They don't even dispute that the racist claims are anything but fact. They treat racism like the racism in an RPG was like yeah elves can see in the dark and orcs get better critical hits and the Vietnamese are sneaky yeah it's not even a hate thing it's just like yeah you know just how it is yeah to them it's like Pokemon it's like that's the type they are it's

like well well you can't trust them. They sneaky And then the Vietnamese gonna be like that's true. We all I saw Bobby Lee one time defending Koreans and just talking out of his ass He's like, yeah, you know, but Koreans don't have that crazy history of racism and slavery and somebody I guess had Google and they're like actually Korea had a slave empire for hundreds of years and they turned, they were the worst slavers. They were the OG slavers. And it's like, Oh, Oh shit. I didn't know that. Oops. Like the, uh, the, uh, the Arab slavers were like so much worse than the American slavers. Cause like, yeah, say what you will, but in America, we wanted more slaves, so

we let them reproduce. The Muslim slavers, by practice, would castrate the male slaves right away. Yeah. A castrated slave is a trustworthy slave, if you think about it. They had a class of eunuchs, eunuch slaves, their own little varices. I also heard that if you wanted your kit, this is a different time period. I heard someone talking about eunuchs the other day and they, and cause I was like, they're like people would want their kids to be eunuchs sometimes because it guaranteed them a successful life.

Cause they could get hired by someone in the aristocracy. Um, because it's, uh, if a guy's a eunuch, you know that he's not concerned with his children or women. He has no distractions. And he's not gonna mess around with your ladies. You can trust this guy. Like that's the kind of guy you want in your household working for you.

Being your Mr. Smithers. What equipment does a eunuch have left? Cock. Just the dick. Just the dick. Just the dick. Yeah. Okay. They still got a pee and stuff.

Do they inspect it to make sure? Could you like, mask it? Like, I'm a unit. Don't you worry. You just let me hang out with your wife all day. I bet they were checking. They got you. I totally understand, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't.

The guy who's in charge of the fucking, whatever caliphate that was in charge. But I found a testy here. No, that is too much. Every now and then I see a cop video where they're patting down a black guy and he's got such a huge dick that they think it's a weapon. And they'll be like, what is this? What is this? And he's like, that's my penis.

Oh, sorry. Does he say penis? That's very official. Yeah, well, like the one I saw, that's what he says. That's my penis. That's my penis, sir. And I heard a prison story. The guy was saying that a prison guard

was like patting down the guy and she's like, what is this? What do you have? Cause they'd be smuggling stuff out of the kitchen all the time. She thinks he's got like cucumbers in there or something. And he's like, that's me. And she's like, what is this? What are you trying to sneak out of there?

That's me. And she's like, oh. And she realized she has his hand on a gigantic cock that she can't even fathom. She's high up. hand on a gigantic cock that she can't even fathom. What a terrible job. For having to pat down a bunch of like naked prisoners knowing that like you can't phone it in because they might like have a very dull knife I guess on their butt like something something that could fuck people up.

I think your point is drugs like a TSA Every time they pass they never find anything or if they do they're just taking some grandma's water away, but in prison Someone in this room is actively concealing something from me right now like a guarantee One in here know like when I was in prison we had like knives hidden not for hurting people But for like chopping vegetables, but that was contraband Like there was all sorts of stuff like that going on. Like they're actively hiding stuff from you and sneaking around. What would happen if somebody felt threatened? Do they know that like the salsa knife is

there just in case? I mean, I knew where the salsa knife was. I wasn't going to go for it or anything. It was hidden like above the door entryway, like up on top of the exit sign. There's one of those electronic exit signs and way back on top of it. And it's like, that's where the chopper was. I just see him like downgrading from whatever shank they had to sharpened rocks and like, this is Kyle's fault. I think it's all hasn't been the same ever since he defended himself from that

rapist. Kyle used to chopper on snow. Now we can't have salsa. I would make it when I made relish, you know, you got little pickles and relish. Obviously we didn't have relish. So I had to chop up pickles, but I didn't have the knife. So I took pickles and I nibbled them and I was just in there nibbling pickles and putting them in a pile and making relish with mayonnaise

to put on crackers with tuna. That's awful. But the hell, you're so mediocre. I would have just like eaten it quick. It would have been like pickle cracker. I would have put a pickle on the cracker. Kyle's like, nah, chopped pickles. That's relish.

I've got nothing but time. My meals were, yeah, there you go. I got nothing but time and like I'm gonna make this meal as nice as a meal can get for me here. I'm gonna sit in my bed, my Harry Potter book, you know, get my blanket wrapped around my feet, get my diet Pepsi extra cold. I don't know, if I want a really nice meal, I don't baby bird it to myself. Oh, no, well like, no, the chewing is making up, making the relish. Like I'm nibbling the pickle, making the bird say, yeah. Well, no, baby birding is when you spit into somebody's mouth and feed them that way.

You chew it for the baby on their behalf, suppose. Hmm. But I suppose it is in your mouth. The spitting into the mouth is the baby birding part. I didn't either way. I don't like that. You spit it under a crack. Everyone know I'm a pile of them.

So you have a spit cracker later. Well, there wasn't any spit. I just use my teeth. I was very careful. You would have eaten this relish if you'd been imprisoned with me. You'd have been like, oh, is that relish? Yeah, he would. How you make a nibble relish? Can I make me some to you to get'd have went and got one of the pickles. It's in a little plastic pack.

You'd have come right back with that thing and I'd have chewed it up for you while you, uh, like crushed up with the Doritos. You'd be like, move over. You call that chewing. Let me show you. I would have been quicker. Yeah. Were they those pickles in the bag that say like hot mama on them? Yeah. There's juice and they're in little plastic sleeves that you peel apart. Yeah, that was our only access to a pickle.

Prison is a lot like gas station food. Anything that's in a gas station food is what prison food is. It's- Hey, with the potato chips really good. I've heard there's like amazing prison potato chips. Yeah, they had some kind of like all seasoned or like everything seasoned chips.

They were okay. I tried to experience them without the crime. I found you could buy them on Amazon. It was like, this is a while ago, five years ago. It's like $12. Every chip was crushed into dust when it got here. I don't really think I know what they taste like properly. Amazon's not good at delivering potato chips, it turns out.

Turns out. Way out. Gotta go to prison to do it right. Yeah, no, I didn't really get, I was trying to eat healthy. So I mostly had my chili, my brushy creek chili. You're mostly trying to be healthy. You were so healthy, you didn't shit for weeks. Yeah, that was the fear.

That was, that had nothing to do with my diet. I was the fear, that had nothing to do with my diet I was the fear that nothing to do with diet that was that was 100% stress Zack remembered the name whole shebang potato chips. That's what I learned by watching prison YouTube videos that they're very good Yes Did you see they're making a new a new Shrek Yeah, the animations a little fucky, huh? a new Shrek. Yeah, the animation's a little fucky, huh? What's it doing?

Is Zendaya in it? I feel like I saw Zendaya was gonna be in it. She's the daughter, yeah. Oh, the daughter. What's the point of casting Zendaya? The thing I don't like about her is her voice. Did you see Reddit petitioning to get Harvey Weinstein back? Oh, because the girls aren't pretty enough in movies anymore. Apparently Zendaya is in like 24 movies this year and that since Weinstein left, they haven't

been discovering attractive female talent anymore. They're like, we didn't realize how important he was for the Hollywood ecosystem. There's no new young hot chicks anymore. It's all Zendaya doing every role. We got to bring back Weinstein to define the next Jennifer Lawrence She's doing every single fucking role and it's infuriating that the new so Christopher Nolan's next movie is the Odyssey so Odysseus and and that whole story and Zendaya's in it and it's like why isn't I in Why is she in every fucking thing? So is who's the trans man? Elliot, Elliot Page, formerly Ellen Page. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's in a lot of course he's, he's in the Odyssey. I don't, I don't know what role. And then Matt Damon plays Odysseus and Matt Damon, like wait a minute. Yeah. I don't like

getting shaped for it. Do you know? He didn't look like he was in nearly good enough shape to be Odysseus to me. Whoever cast this is my enemy. I don't like, I don't like any of these names you're saying. Yeah. How old is Matt Damon now? He's got to be in his fifties. Late forties for sure. Definitely. Probably 53, something like that. Like I'm going to guess 52. He is 54. Everyone's close. I was, I should have gone 54, right. If you're gonna play Price is Right, you go one over. Yeah. I mean, I like him. I liked him in The Martian. And he's not like a bad actor. Like you go back 10 years, Matt Damon. If Matt Damon's in a film,

I give that film serious consideration. I think I still feel that way about Matt Damon. I just don't see him as Odysseus. Odysseus is a 35 to 40 year old Greek king who's sailing across the ocean. He's an absolute badass. He's like an absolute alpha male goaded with the sauce kind of fella. And I don't know if Matt Damon has that physique anymore. That's where I kinda like, I like Matt Damon a lot, but the current version fat Damon not the same

I was gonna say that's that's what you want to hear when you think of a Greek guys is a Boston accent He's explaining the Trojan horse with that accent Dude so fucking here it is, dude. We're going to make a horse. We're all going to do stay with me. We're all, we're all going to get in there and we're going to kill everybody in that fucking city, dude. Trust me, bro. Trust me. Now your, your idea was the fucking shitty one, dude. Mine's pretty good.

This horse thing's going to work. You're a boss. Nice horse thing's gonna work. There was another movie about the the Iliad and the Odyssey and the Trojan War with Brad Pitt. Yeah, yeah, when Brad Pitt plays. Was that called the Achilles? That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, he plays Achilles. Oh my God. So Achilles, if you don't know, like the the Loris that he was dipped into that like magical river by his mother and she held his stick heel as she dipped him in so that was the only part that was I don't think was the river stakes that's the river takes it was and and he was like every inch of him is covered up

with the magic of the river except for that Achilles Hill that's his weak point but but Brad Pitt looked incredible in that movie find me a picture of Brad Pitt from from Troy's, all glistening and looking sexy. He was lean. And then he killed Bo Agrius in the very beginning, but I wanted Bo Agrius to be a bigger part of it. Dude, that scene at the beginning where the two armies meet and they're going to have their champions fight and Brad Pitt's not there. He's in a tent with some whores and they send a boy

to get him. And the boy's like, that's the biggest man I've ever seen. I wouldn't want to fight him. And Brad Pitt's like, and that's why no one will remember your name. And he goes, yeah, and like rides off. And I was like, that's hard. That's a fat ass line. Look at him. They open the movie by talking huge shit to like a six year old. Yeah. a six year old. It was just coming to wake him up. He's like, yeah, well guess what homo, I am going to fight him. Loser. And then he gets him. I remember that movie being cool. I haven't seen it and it probably came out 20 years ago. It's probably been 18 years since I've seen it, but that was a cool movie. A decent amount of fighting, a little bit of nudity here or

there if I recall. I don't think a ton of it though actually. It's a little titty there. A little titty. Tasteful. A tasteful amount of nudity. Maybe Kira Knightley was in it. There was some hot girl in it. In Orlando Bloom and Eric Bana. I don't remember the girl's name. He played Hector. He played my character. You liked Eric Bana the most. Yeah, Hector was good.

It was like, oh man, you and Achilles probably could have been boys if not for the circumstances of the fight between the fight between if anybody wants to see a cool like movie fight, it's between Hector and Achilles is a really good fight. And I'm like, I saw some historian sort of like ranking accuracy of the the weapon use and the techniques and he's like Oh, it's what a night or whatever. So like I like that fight. That's a good fight and then Achilles is they are they ask him at the Eric band at the beginning of the fight is like Since we got a flight here and everything Maybe we'll just agree that each of us get our funeral rights and we respect each other, the loser of the fight.

And Brad Pitt's like, the dogs are gonna eat your body tonight. Your bones are gonna end up being the haunted lands and your soul will walk the earth alone forever. And he's like, well, hang on a minute now. He's just not gonna have any of, and he does. He kills him and then drags him behind his cherry away, just through the dirt and everything.

Yeah, very disrespectful They get it back, right? Am I crazy? Yeah Pulls the ball as he move and sneaks in and he's like, yo kill he's gonna have that and he's like, I take it Yeah, I'm hoping this movie isn't about the Trojan War I'm hoping the the end of the Trojan War is the beginning of the movie and the Odyssey back home is the cool part of that story Odysseus trying to get back home to his wife and his kingdom that has usurpers trying to take his wife and trying to take His lands and like every step of the way

He's bumping into gods and his men are being turned into pigs and they like all sorts of nonsense is happening. It's a cool story. Yeah Yeah, so is then Daya gonna play like the Queen or like cuz like my Yeah. So is Zendaya going to play like the queen or like, because like my guess is that Zendaya is going to play a goddess. She's probably going to play who's Hera, I think maybe is the one who's helping Odysseus. He has a God who's like Athena, patron Athena. That's what it is. Yeah. I should probably play Athena. That would be my best guess hmm, cuz she's not quite Such as very important. I probably it looks like we don't know for sure, but they speculate she'll play Athena Cordy Google so I was probably right. Yeah. I don't know. I'll watch it. I love Christopher Nolan movies

I you know, did you ever watch? Oppenheimer? I never saw it, no. It's really good. He wanted to do the next James Bond movie. He was trying to get that and they said no. And then he went and made Oppenheimer and made all that money and all those Oscars. Now those people who are running the James Bond thing don't know what the fuck they're

doing. They're always screwing up. They've missed a bunch of Bonds and a bunch of good directors over the years. Is it still Daniel Craig? No, they've replaced him, but no one knows who it is yet. It's not Daniel Craig anymore though. James Bond's a really good property, but like Kyle said, I don't think they're getting the most out of it.

That's how I feel about Doctor Who 2. I really enjoyed a lot of Doctor Who, but feel like they've fallen off lately. Just not quite getting it. It got so goddamn woke. It's like, what does, Doctor Who needs to be a black cross-dressing furry. He is a black cross-dressing man.

I mean, yeah. I thought he was like a time traveling scientist or something. He's a gay black guy now. He might be cross-dressing. He was in his tighty whiteys when I saw him. In a dress when I saw him. He was a gay black guy now. He might be cross dressing. He was in his tidy whiteys when I saw him. So in a dress when I saw he was. Yeah. I mean, I can't call it like I see it. It's too much for me and I'm tired on this shit.

Let's see, Dr. Who in a dress. Like, you know, like, like I I'm not anti-gay, but it's like, if you make the new Star Trek and the captain is a black man wearing a dress, I'm gonna have questions. Although they do have these dresses, these skorts or whatever in Star Trek that are like pop up every now and then, and the dude's thighs, they're showing way too much thigh.

It's super cringy. So that's actually kind of funny. They're showing way too much thigh. Way too, it's way too much thigh. That's Doctor Who right there. Really? Yeah, that's Doctor Who right there. Really? Yeah, that's Doctor Who. Yeah, I thought that was Tupac for a second.

Eat your heart out, Matt Smith. But that picture, does it have anything to do with Doctor Who? That looks like he's in Elle magazine. I have no idea. Doing a little pirouette there. Why are they making him do this? Doing what? What do you mean making?

You think you have to make that dude do that? You think he struck that pose at gunpoint or something? I bet he wanted to look cool and they wouldn't let him. I bet that man's got a artistic background. You wouldn't believe he loves dressing and dresses and doing little dances. Clearly. And I'm like, I'm not hating on him. There's nothing wrong with dressing, dressing, doing little fucking dances. We need artists.

But, you know, I like Matt Smith's Doctor Who, and he was just a dude that threatened people with death and then used a sonic screwdriver to save the universe and stuff. It was cool. But then they made it a woman and they made a black man in a dress and then I quit watching.

I was even okay with a woman. Like I was okay with the concept of a woman. I didn't think it was well executed. Well, it can't be a doctor. Yeah. It's concept of a woman. I didn't think it was well executed. Woman can't be a doctor. Yeah, it's gotta be a man. It's gotta be a man who's not wearing a dress. He's gotta have a lab coat on. I have to trust him.

It never goes well when they do the female version of something instead of doing their own thing. Is there any version of that, of like the white version or the male version of a successful other thing, like us going in and like stealing somebody's thing the way that Ghostbusters or any number of products get made? I'm trying to think of even one.

Maybe Elvis. Elvis. But I mean, then again, I don't know if anyone cared about the songs Elvis took before he took them. Fair. Yeah. He had a lot of gospel back in the day, too. It was when he was up there jitterbugging around that people were like, all right, I'm down with this.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Do you have one in mind, Kyle? Like, it seemed like you had an idea. I just I think my point was it just doesn't fucking happen because. Because one way street, I can't think of any. But I'm not very good in on movies and TV. And I always get mad about that. Um, that black guy who stole the Confederate boat and then get mad at him.

You wish you had a boat. Well, yeah, they should have made him pay, you know, they should have caught him after the war, you know, like, like we know you did this for the union, Mr. Smalls, but stealing is stealing and we have no tolerance. But no, his name is Robert Smalls. Robert Smalls, in the midst of the Civil War, this black male slave commandeered a Confederate ship delivered at 16 black men, women and children passengers from slavery to freedom. And then from slave to sailor to congressman.

Like, like that's his storyline, like. Like a slave stole a Confederate battle. You're mad about this. This guy sounds awesome. No, no, no. I'm mad that they don't make a movie about that. And the black women who did the math for the moon landing or like the black mailman, understand, we started off with. They needed to make him pay. Well, we want to won the war.

So it was a black guy. We would have won the war if it wasn't for that guy. If it wasn't for that guy, we would have won that conflict. That was my grandpapa's boat he commandeered. Commandeered. He stole, he stole grandpapa's boat. That is so much of a better story than like the heroic women who delivered mail. For the next two hours, sit back, relax,

and try to stay awake as we take you through the excitement. And it's like, I imagine that movie constantly, like a guy bloody coming in on the side of the screen being like, it's a bloodbath out there. We need more men. And then he leaves and there's just some woman like stacking paper or something. And it's like, oh man, this sucks. Where's the boy? A good black movie about like a good inspirational black movie to me men of honor is got Cuba Gooding jr. And Robert and Robert De Niro and it's about Carl Brashear the first black Navy Master diver a master diver is a whole other thing

It's a very special thing and that of course they treated him like shit through diving school Like like just shit. There's this the the final thing they have to do They send you into the first of all the diving suits back then look like a ridiculous apparatus from the eighties This guy good swimmer before them. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah He grew up in the country and like every day after work, he'd run and like jump into the pond and like, like this guy was a, it was his thing. He was the guy.

Yeah. And- Jackie Robinson of diving. They send them down in the cold water to do their final exam. And what they do is they send down this pipe, this flange. It's two or three pieces of pipe that have to be, you put O-rings between them and then bolt them together

And there's lots of bolts that go around like some Mario stuff and they have to and then they lure a tool bag down To you you're down in the water and you have to put this thing together in the cold dark water And then when you're done you tug the rope and they hoist up your flange Expect that it's completed and then they hoist you up Well when they go to give Carl his bag of tools, they cut it and they toss it into the water. And so all these little o-rings are just going everywhere, all the little bolts. He was down there for hours and hours until he did it. He has a crazy true story. He lost his leg,

recovering a nuclear weapon that we dropped in the water in the Pacific, I think. There was a a cable snap tore his leg off and they wouldn't let him dive anymore with a prosthetic leg. And in the court, there's a scene in the court proceedings where, where he has to, he stands with his full diving suit, which is like several hundred pounds with the fake leg, but the fake leg he had, the leg he's wearing that day wasn't his good leg. So he has to do it with one leg because his real leg, his fake leg will snap. What's any weight on it? Oh, that's a good leg. And I've never heard one.

It's just a stand up and like naval court to prove that he can still do the job. And he wins his job back. It's an amazing story. It's great. Really good movie. That guy sounds cool. Yeah, that does sound like a bit, sounds way better than the silly movies, the ham handed ones.

Two scoops of valor. Is that what it's called? Well, that's my fictional one that I wanna make. It's the story of the black guy who operated the ice cream barge in the Pacific in World War II. Ooh, two scoops of valor. Is that a real story?

A black man bringing a little bit of mirth to the to our boys overseas? It's based on a true story. Okay, so no. We did have two enormous ice cream ships in the Pacific to provide ice cream to the troops in the Pacific, but I don't know if it was a heartwarming story about a black man like captaining it and doing anything heroic. But I think that would be, that's just the type of story that they would do. I thought that that story where the black ladies doing the math for NASA was crazy.

I made it like 40 minutes through that movie. And like the biggest stressor was they didn't have a bathroom near enough to the room where they did the calculation. What? And there was this big moment where, I can't remember who it was, Tom Hanks or somebody is like, these ladies can use the

bathroom on this side of the building. And it's like the music swelling, like with this heartwarming moment. And it's like, what the fuck? Didn't they just do math? Aren't they just human calculators? For the last time, it's not because they're black. It's because they're one of them is we're not gonna say who is It's not because they're black. It's because one of them is, we're not gonna say who is absolutely blowing it up in there.

It's despicable. I can't believe it. The bathroom should be like dependent on usage and such. Like, I don't know, in the men's bathroom at a sports event, like the women's line like goes out the door and the men's is kind of moving along quickly. Maybe they need to have twice as many women's bathrooms. I worked in Cisco IT.

There was hardly a need for a female bathroom at all in that organization. Like they should have like, you know, understand your population. Should be proportionate. I think maybe a bathroom for number ones and a bathroom for number twos. I would think that.

Yeah, but you know what you would get? You would get cowardly, I'm too afraid to admit I poop people who would be stinking up the pee bathroom because they would be like, I don't want people to know that I'm shitting. Oh, it's just urinal. It's all urinals. It's, it's two walls. Three walls of urinals. When you walk in, you're talking about a sports like, Oh, fuck the urinals. Do the trop. You ever piss in one of those troughs at a, that's classless. Like at least, you know, yeah, I don't want others. That's a community event. It brings people community event. Everybody's cocks out bro. Like trough,

make a sink and we all gather in a circle. At least like when you have your own urinal, I want to bond, I want to see you dick. At least like when you have your own urinal, like the thought that there are pee particles splashing back on your jeans is just kind of like a, you can put it out of mind, but if you're standing there at a trough and other people are peeing right next to you, you just, you're just thinking like,

there's pee particles all over the place. That guy's spraying and it's okay if it's my pee, but now this guy's pee is getting on my jeans. No, I'm just thinking I really had to piss. That's why I'm at this trough. I'm glad I made it. Last time I pissed a trough was at a drag race and I had, I was about to piss outside in front of people. I had to go so bad. I remember it distinctly. It was awful. One fond memory of a trough.

Yeah. I only pissed in a trough once that one time. Yeah. Hmm. Countless times I've pissed in a trough. Countless times I've pissed in a trough. How often do you see people actually flush those things? The urinal? Unless every time.

Yeah, I don't want to touch it. Really? The like metal bar. Most are automatic these days. Yeah, I wash my hands afterwards and I, you know. Most are automatic these days. I don't touch anything wash my hands afterwards and I, you know, automatic these days, I don't touch anything in a bathroom though. I don't even touch the sink. Well, I like it when the door has that little door handle for your foot on the

bottom and just open it with that. That's I do. That was one of the few good holdovers from the COVID times is now there's a lot more bathroom doors that have the foot pull instead of, you know, doing what you used to do. If you wanted to not touch it, which is like, keep one of those wet paper towels, grab it with the wet paper towel. So the wet paper towel in the direction of the trash can, if you miss out the door while it's closing, I don't, I don't even bother throwing it in there. I leave, I leave the paper towel sort of clinging to that door handle,

and I just let go as I, as I entered the establishment, I'm gone. That's that's savagery. I didn't get sick once through COVID. I was so careful every, every, every time going to that gym, I didn't touch a thing. I was in and out of there like a surgeon hands up in the air, like, like getting my hand sanitizer on the way in hand sanitizer on the way out. I was at a state, I think I was playing Tarkov during COVID. Yeah.

I started quarantining like six weeks before the breakout. Yeah. Dang. That like, like I was, I was also playing a ton of Tarkov or something. Oh, maybe Baldur's gate. No, we were rust. I remember exactly. it was rust. We were so into rust

and I was playing like 14 fucking hour days of that. I was like, quarantine, where would I go? Everything I need is right here. Everything I need is right here. I gotta get- So addicted to Souls games now. I think I mentioned one or two weeks ago that I don't even know if my truck starts

and that status hasn't changed I think the battery might be dead at this point. That's awesome. It's good to be passionate about something and there's a bunch of content for you to pour through You know, there's there's a lot of Souls games and then after that I swear like You get into Mordhauer chivalry and you pwn some noobs and you're like leading teams to victory But I think you could get into that. Yeah, Charlie behind Woody. My chat said it would take longer for me to be competent at that game than you say it

will. They would know better than me. Yeah, it just seems similar to me the way you like. I can't do all that pairing and timing stuff that I like to get real good and baked when I game. That's why Baldur's Gate so good. It's turn based. So if I need to sit there and think for a minute,

there's plenty of time, I don't need to be reacting. We've been, me and Scum have been playing a co-op campaign through Baldur's Gate. I think we're about 40 hours in or something like that, that we've played. Has he been doing okay with availability? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's one of those people that work,

we don't like them. He owns his own company, so we just go into his like work discord And so he'll have like a guy that works for him also in the call while we game And so like if the guy has a work question He can be like yeah Yeah pay that and send that bill here and make sure you get the letter to the lawyer about x y and z and

All right. Let's get into the shadow lens Contact my attorney my accountant accountant and you know, re up that contract and Kyle, I'm going to need you to start singing. Yeah, it's a barred way ahead of you, bro. Your bongos of strength. That's one of the fun parts about playing the Bard is everybody else has is so serious They're all like fighters and warriors and barbarians and the gear is scary and they got mean mugs and you're just over there And your song is confusing the enemy like making them dizzy or something. I love the Bard character in that game It's we've been having a ball

Baldur's Gate is so good. I Think it's I think I've said it, but it's my favorite game of all time. I've had more fun playing that game than I have any other game ever. Maybe call duty four. Cause I had so many like great nights with friends. Just, you know, we play six hours a night or something and never lose a game. Like, like that was tons of fun back in the day, but this is so fun to like role play and I don't know.

Pretend like I'm an orc. I played Dark Souls 3. I'll just go through real quick. And dude, I really, really like the Dark Souls 3 base game. I'm not sure if I like it more than Elden Ring. It's easier than Elden Ring, which is kind of nice. That the way the combat works in the Souls light is you see the guy attacking,

you sort of memorize the attack because sometimes they hang their arm out there and make you wait and then they swing. So it's easy to get, it's called roll caught. You sort of dodge too early, then they catch you afterwards. Anyway, learn his attacks, dodge, dodge, dodge and hit. In Dark Souls three, there's a real nice balance. Like maybe you dodge two or three times

and then you punish them because you succeeded at all your dodges. Cool. Elden Ring, the bosses are so hard. They hit so many times, seven, nine, 11 times in a row. It's like playing red light, green light with a stop sign. And to go over to Dark Souls 3 where you actually only dodged like three times before you hit them back has been a pleasure.

Yeah, I bet. Someone told me that you were creaming every single boss except you said they said you had a hard time with the last boss. But they said the Elden Ring bosses were just so much harder that you were really creaming them in Dark Souls 3. But every now and then, I think someone told me you had trouble with some of the regular mobs more than the bosses, even some of them. Oh yeah, yeah.

So the thing I really like is what I described, that you attack, I dodge, I'm pretty good at that, and then I punish that as well. But gang fights, which is the term for like a 1v6, I hate that. Not only do I hate it, I'm not that good at it. And I also don't like dragons, shit that like flies in the air

and makes the whole arena catch on fire. If I'm spending the whole fight wishing I was within sword distance, that's a bad fight to me. It's not about being hard, I like hard. I just don't like wishing I was close enough to hit you. Yeah. Baldur's Gate's making me a different kind of fucking nerd. And I don't know if I like it. I think I could see myself playing Dungeons and Dragons at a table dressed as a wizard or something and that the role playing aspect is becoming more and more fun.

Do we have a professional dungeon master in the Patreon hangout? Oh God. By the way, no one contact me about leading a fucking dungeon crawl or whatever, or being my dungeon master or whatever. I like being shy. Guys, reach out. Yeah guys, if you need this number, just ping me. I'll forward it.

Every time I say it, somebody's like, hey Kyle, you could come hang out with me and my crew. I'm like, nah man, I'm good. Next live stream, I'll title my video to be Kyle's phone number. And then you can just reach out to him and let him know you'd like to be your Dutchman. That's probably the easiest way to do it, really.

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God, where do you stand on that? You're in a commercial flight head of the cross the country. They say, listen, there's no pilots on this plane and ours is dead. We need someone to step up. Could you do it? I would say, listen, there's no pilots on this plane and ours is dead. We need someone to step up. Could you do it? I would try. I'd do my best like I could

land it but I don't know if we'd be alive after. Yeah. Yeah. We haven't left anyone up there yet. All planes land. I'm landing that **** Not only am I going to land it, I'm going to say some cool **** over the intercom as we land. I mean, like I'm going to do the thing. I'm like, all right, we're coming on into Albuquerque now.

A few minutes early, cause I don't know how to slow this bitch down, but hang on everyone. No problem. They're all confident cause Kyle's a professional on the mic, even though he's a complete amateur. Yeah. Hey, just to let you know,

there's a lot more buttons up here than you'd expect. I know one of these does something with the wheels. We're going to figure it out. In the meantime, enjoy cars too. As we careen the side of a mountain. No, I would do my best, but like, I, I would need someone on the line with me to be like this button hit, unless there's pictures or unless it says like, this is your lowering the wheels thing. Like there's, there's just,

I feel like, I feel like all of the take is like hitting a button, one thing wrong. And now suddenly some flap on the left wing goes down and now we're out of control. It's happened a bunch of times where they talk someone down who'd never flown before, didn't know how to fly. I don't know about like a 727 or some shit, some big airliner like that. I don't know if that's happened. But I mean, how complicated could it be? I just don't think it's that hard. I really don't I think I think any of us could do it. No problem I don't know what half those buttons are for though. There's like like how Complicated is it it's like flaps up flaps down left right and then and then You know accelerate decelerate and then the landing gear like what else do they need?

Show us a 747 cockpit that a lot of it is stuff to be like sending data back to the air traffic controllers so that they know where you're at exactly. Right. I bet there's a lot of things for emergency situations, right? Like cutting off hydraulic fluid to this or that, or like making it operate on one fuel tank. I don't know. I'm making shit up, but I bet there's a lot of like,

yeah, shut this off, disable this, enable that. Yeah, that's so many buttons. I mean, when you've... That makes me anxious just looking at it. It's like something about the field of view not being as wide as you'd expect. Do the people sitting in those chairs really know what every single button does?

Of course they do. I fucking hope so. Dude, if I went up there and I asked the pilot, like, hey, so what's that do? Who knows? Dude, in my truck, I would say, like, what does that one do? Oh, the one with the tires and the squiggles, I have to hit it to see what it does. Yeah, but you're not a professional truck driver. I bet a professional truck driver knows everything his big rig does.

You just hit it and you're like, well, that one doesn't do anything. This one makes that light toggle on and off. I still don't know what the turn signal is. Traction control? I don't know. Yeah, I don't think it's that complicated. I think there's a bunch. I really don't. I think it's like you said, there's a bunch of switches and flips and late Levers there to turn the fluid off to this or cut fuel to the left engine or whatever, etc

But I think landing that thought thing is gonna involve orienting us toward the runway, which is some like altitude Lean left type shit and there's gonna be what it's like the flaps and the the wheels and like what else do we have to control this thing it's just pointing it I think it's super I'm not saying I'm not saying being an airline pilots an easy job or necessarily but I bet landing one of those things is super easy I feel like that's the only part of it that you can fuck up really bad yeah most plane crashes are either like right after takeoff or like during landing. So we're going to fuck up.

There's no room for error when you're 50 feet off the ground, I guess. I mean, like, obviously, like most plane crashes happen when the plane is near Earth. Yeah. No, no, no. They happen during the time period. They can fall all day. They don't usually drop out of the sky is what he's saying. Like, you know, if you're going from Atlanta to LA, you're probably going to crash in Atlanta

or LA, not in Missouri. True. True. Yeah. Flying is fucking scary, though. I've only flown one time in the last 20 years. Really? Holy cow.

It was this, it was this, um, it was new years, you know, and it's like, uh, I went to Maryland, which that's only like an hour or so where I'm from. And first time in, in yeah, 20 years I had flown. I don't even remember the last time I flew. I'm just sitting there. Like it feels like I'm getting ready to go out for a fight. And, um, and I'm looking for any excuse to not go and like I'm scrolling ready to go out for a fight. And I'm looking for any excuse to not go. And like I'm scrolling through fucking Twitter. And my wife is like, Oh, hey, the flight got

delayed. I'm like, Oh, fuck, okay, whatever. I guess I'll just hang out. Raw news alert, plane crash in Korea. I see the video. It's just like, like skidding across the ground. And at first I'm like, Oh, okay. Like plane crash doesn't mean you die. As soon as I think that bang hits a wall explosion. It didn't even look like a bad one, but all those Koreans are dead. Yeah. It was that. How did you, I was flying Spirit too. So that was.

Oh yeah. That must have cost dozens of dollars. I saved up all day for this flight. Do you like asking the pilot of the Spirit Airlines like, see you've done this a lot, right? No, but I did stay at a holiday and express it. I thought you knew what you were doing. Here's the thing, bud. Most of these buttons, they're for the birds. A smart guy once told me it's about

the flaps and it's about the lever. You just adjust your way. How did you go 20 years never flying? That's crazy. I just never had anywhere to go. you know I've been to I've been to DC and I've been like to Western New York, but I drove there You know, so other than that is just like your travels. Have you have you not really been outside the Boston area? No, I've been um, you know, I've been all around New England. I've been Canada. Florida was the last time I flew Yeah, other than that like Western New York a couple of times, it's beautiful out there. If you go to New York, fuck New York City. Go to where the Finger Lakes and shit like that start.

That's nice. And then DC. I got attacked in DC 10 minutes into being there. We rolled into town like 11 p.m. and I had to stop to get vape shit and it took 10 minutes for a crack addict to ask us for a dollar and then try and fight us. Robert Leonard Did you actually fight the crack head or you just left?

Chris Bounds No, no, we just left. We just walked, got in the car. I forgot to unlock the car for my buddy because the clicker didn't work. So he's like pulling on the fucking door, like, dude, dude, dude. And the chicks, it was, it was a girl. She's walking around the car slowly. You could have taken her, but you could have got hepatitis too. Right. He gets the W and the Hep C.

So you didn't, so you haven't traveled the ton. You had a bad experience in DC. Do you remember in sunny where like, uh, we're like Mac is Xing out everywhere. He doesn't want to travel when he's like a multimillionaire and he's like Xing out like, Oh Africa, I don't know anything about here. X is all the way over here and all of Asia. He's like, no thanks. I don't know what's going on there. And then he gets to the U S and he's like, even Xing out the West coast, the Midwest, it's like, it's like, oh, okay. So

you're just going to kind of stay around New England. And he's like, well, not the Northern part, Maine, what the fuck? And he's just the Philadelphia area that he wants to go to Westchester. Yeah. So that's what, that's what your story reminds me of, of just like, Oh yeah, I've traveled Northern New York from Boston. Just a huge distance. We're very insular people. Have you always been tentative or afraid to fly or do you just have a bad first time flying experience? I don't, I don't know what it is. Like, um, you know, like, like, cause I've been in like tons of like weird situations

and shit like that, where you think I'd be like scared, but like, you know, I'm pretty cool about it, but you can't punch gravity. So I think that's, that's probably what it is, is like, if you put me in a cage with somebody, it's like, okay, I win or I lose whatever, at I have agency If you're falling in a plane, it's just like all right This happening hopefully has the exact same problem. We couldn't fly anywhere because Like he's a tough guy like he's he's he's a likes-to-fight kind of guy but he's terrified to fly in a plane or I'll ask you this. Are you afraid of anesthetic?

Cuz he's really afraid of going under like general anesthetic like being being put to sleep for an operation a Little bit. Yeah To like I didn't I didn't ever think about it until the last like five to seven years and now I'm like fuck I hope I never have to have an operation again Yeah, he has again tough guy like like if we if someone was talking shit He'd be the first to jump out of the truck and like be ready to to fight but he went to go get like Orthoscopic knee surgery and he was just in there in that gown looking at all the machines and he noped out

He left a sir like the surgery was today He's supposed to be in a gown and the doctor's seeing him in 30 minutes in the operating room and he noped out and fled the hospital. His ass in the wind. I am the complete opposite of this guy and I bet I trump him in terms of like surgery experience too. I'll be like, ah, I broke my fucking wrist.

Well, the silver lining is the anesthetic. We do have that in our future. He should have, how you doing? He should have been like, I am nervous. I am scared right now. And they'd be like, we've got something for that. You wanna be happy? And boom.

He didn't make it part of the part. Not only am I nervous, I'm gonna be nervous for three to four weeks after this. He got me in a weird head space doc. I really need some. He didn't even make it to the part where he was. He didn't get into the gown yet like like he was just he was getting dressed and couldn't take it.

He said you said all those machine was having done or his knee surgery. His knee surgery like like he had a he had a childhood knee injury where he he did that thing where kids are on a swing and then the apex you jump out and fly. But he landed on like a particularly enormous wood chip and it went into his knee, like into the fleshy part of the kneecap and then like threw out the back. And on the way through it like damaged,

I don't know, ACL, MCL, something like that, one of those, a little bit. And like, so like eight, 10 years later as an adult, it was bugging him and they looked at it and they're like, oh, yeah We can go in and we can fix this and be no big deal But but yeah, he got in there got in that gown started looking at like all the machines and the who's he what's it's Got scared went outside to smoke a cigarette and was like fuck this never went back. He just wears a knee brace went back he just wears a knee brace. Knee braces don't help that really with ACL. And terrified to get into an airplane. I bought him

airplane lessons. I figured if he spent a few hours flying a plane himself, took control, give him some agency. I thought maybe, no, refused to go. I used his hour. That's a really cool experience. If anyone ever I thought maybe, no, refused to go. I used his hour. I forgot it was a view. That's a really cool experience. If anyone ever has a few extra dollars, what would it cost, like 600 bucks maybe? I don't think it was even that much.

It was affordable. I remember not even, I remember thinking of it like a pair of shoes or something. It wasn't a big deal. Mine was free, it was a fan, but it's called a discovery flight. And basically the first thing you do if you're interested in flying a plane is go fly a plane.

You just do the most fun part of flying. And yeah, I don't know. It kind of freaked me out because like I took off and then during landing, I've said this before, I was like, okay, like I noped out during the landing. I was like, you've got the controls. And he goes, no. Like, you can't say no. Like, you're my flight instructor. You can't just decline it. And he's like, eh, well, here I am. And so I landed it. He wouldn't, I mean, he told me what to do, but he wouldn't take the controls. So we went to an airport in Anderson, South Carolina,

and hopped in the plane. And then I flew it all the way to Livonia over my dad's farm. And I called him and I told him we were coming. And so they were all outside and I was low enough that I could see them up there looking up at me. And I like flicked the wings back and forth at them. And I could see them way down there waving.

And it was really cool. And then turned around and went back to Anderson, South Carolina which is like normally a 35 40 minute drive but on a plane. I don't know we're going 130 miles an hour or something up there. It was quick I was interested in like leasing a plane or taking doing like a like a three-way ownership of one of those planes at the time and It seemed like when we needed to go somewhere, like, shit, we could just hop in the plane

and just zip to, like, Texas in a few hours. That would be so sick. And it was, it's only like five grand to get your license. It was the books that stopped me. They, like, laid out all the books that I would need to learn. And again, I, like, this is why I say I think piloting is mostly navigation. Most of the book work that I was going to have to do was about navigation seemingly. Likely there'd be a lot of weather too. That sucks. Sure. But they say in stuff like you're not always gonna have a GPS in your pocket. Well, yeah. Yes, I am. You fuck. Well, I don't know about in the air though. Like you could I think I think they want a pilot to be prepared to manually navigate using charts and such. And that's something I had no experience with.

So looking at that looked like calculus to me, which I also have no experience with. I know we've all flown a lot and like Scott talking about being nervous in the like charter flight, the commercial flight. Do you guys like if you are, if you're going through turbulence and someone near you starts to freak out a little bit, I always get a feeling of like, this fucking idiot. This is like, like calm down.

This is your first time. Like it's a little bumpy. I think mindset's important on a flight. So I've been on some rough ones, like some really rough flights, like that small plane between Berlin to Vermont Mindset's important on a flight. So I've been on some rough ones, like some really rough flights, like that small plane between Berlin to Vermont and we didn't even make it to our destination.

It seemed like we might not make it at times. It was crazy. But when I get into a plane, I have this mindset of there's nothing I can do. Nothing I can do to change this outcome. I'm either gonna live or die. So I might as well just be loose and hang and like enjoy myself.

So I don't know, I'm never afraid on those things, even when it's rough. So there's nothing I can do. Yeah. Same. But I will think sometimes like these aren't the people I want to die near. Have you ever thought that? No, no, I've never thought that because I thought that maybe this fucking guy made it to do about getting a Coke with no ice, like correcting the stewardess. Like, what a douche. I do that too. I always add the verbiage is important. You ask for a can of Coke. You don't ask for a Coke. You ask for a can of Coke. And you know what they bring you a can of fucking Coke.

And if you ask for a Coke, they bring you a little plastic junior cup like we're in third grade and we're getting, we can't have too much juice or we'll piss ourselves. I want that whole goddamn can. And the snacks on planes now, I can't imagine what it must be like to be like an old person now who experienced like flight as an adult in like the mid-60s. I'm right here. Well you're a low- tier old. What he flew on the spruce goose actually. Yeah, I think what he was right there on the spirit of St. Louis. The Wrights brothers, they were right down the road. They were a couple of young whippersnappers. Yeah, but like you see those old pictures of like Scandinavian Airlines and like 1971 or something.

And they're like carving up prosciutto or something and serving it to them. And now you're like, can I have a dirty cup of Coke? And then, uh, and four pretzels and they like, are like, here you go, sir. Throw the bag at you. And then they go about their day. So, uh, it depends what the price is like, but Delta or Southwest usually. And then they go about their day. Who do you fly? It depends what the price is like, but Delta or Southwest usually. I only fly Delta. And I remember last time I flew Delta,

I got the charcuterie board and it was pretty good. I don't know. I've had pretty good experience with them. It's not a tasty meal by any standards, but it's okay. It's not even a meal. I've had that too. And they give you all the liquor you want, which I appreciate.

I usually get good and drunk on a flight. Really? St. Louis had to be a major hub for anybody. We used to be the major hub of Southwest and then that whole brand took a hit. And so now we still get a decent amount of direct flights through Delta or Southwest, but nothing like Atlanta, like at all.

Yeah, Raleigh's not really blessed in that way. We were the, we were direct flight for someone. They went out of business after 9-11. And now we get a lot of American and United, but it stops most of the time. Something you're talking about getting hammered on flights, Kyle, something I do like that's just always fascinating is just the rules of drinking at the airport.

Where like, if you were to just be walking about, like you're walking to get coffee or something before work, and you see some guy in a bar, like with like two empty beers already and he's working on a third, it's 604 in the morning, you'd be like, golly, let the sun come up all the way before you decide the day's fucked, but you'd see that at an airport and it's like, that's just a guy waiting. Timing's relative, right? Like you don't know what time zone he's even from. For all you know, that's a Korean having his five o'clock beer, you know, for him. I usually have a drink before the flight and then if I'm not smoking or I don't have edibles, now when we fly to Colorado and I'm coming back, I'm always the last one to leave the property. Because it's usually under my name, so I like to do a last run through, make sure there's no whatever, cigarette butts in the backyard and whatnot.

But I also get all the drugs. I inherit everyone else's drugs who has to fly back to their homes and can't carry their drugs with them. So on the last day of one of our weedc occasions, I've got a huge pile of drugs that either gets thrown away or smoked and eaten. And I go to the airport like park and ride lot. I sit in that park and ride lot and I do all the drugs and then I throw away all the paraphernalia in a trash can and then I drive the airport and start the process. And I'm like, the medibles are going to kick in soon. They're going to kick in soon. I got to make it through the

metal detectors. I've been in that exact same boat where like, I think you were the one who said it, where like you smoke or eat edibles to the point that you're like almost scared. I am scared. And then you go through security and then by the time you're through security You just have that wash over you feeling of like I even worried about why was I so scared of that dog? I remember that because it was a drug dog. I remember specifically I Reek of weed. I I just have smoked like four bowls in the parking lot

I I just have smoked like four bowls in the parking lot Then and now walked into the airport. I wreak of it and they've got a drug dog checking this all out And it's like an I'm so oh my god. I'm so stressed out, but I don't have anything on me. So it's not a big deal I'm not I'm just worried about being delayed and hassled But I'm so high on edibles when I go in there that I can't even describe what it's like to go into a busy The Atlanta Airport one of the busiest airport in the world to walk into that bitch, zooted on edibles. And it feels like I'm in a Rick and Morty episode and I'm in a space airport. And so I just have to live inside this little bubble.

I can't look in the distance and like, see what that lady's doing. I can't like listen to the intercoms. I have to live in this little bubble of me land. You can't even fathom venturing to the food court. Oh my, I would never. No, that'd be insane to me. I might not make it back. Like I might sit down eating a brownie

and or like zone out and miss my flight or something. I can't stop moving forward. I have to get to the gate. I have to get to my gate. And every step of the way I'm terrified and it's hard and I'm wondering if I'm being awkward or weird and time is fucked up. So I don't know if I paused for too long before answering his question. I don't know if I'm being weird and I'm paranoid about that. Just every step of the way is an adventure. Yeah, now I prefer just getting a little high before I go to the airport,

just a just a little high to take the boredom edge off at the airport. Yeah, but I have been so stoned on edibles at the airport before because I don't know, I feel like everybody does this. Even if it's an airport I've been to 100 times, like I walk all the way to my gate to make sure that the sign actually says over my gate which one it is because we've all had that where it says like go to gate B52 and then you show up at gate B52 and it's like this says Charlotte not Tampa and then oh fuck you have to find where the new one is. You have to get on a train to go to the other gates in Atlanta. Yeah I've flown through Atlanta a number of times. And like, I've gotten so high that like I get to my final place, like the final gate, and then I still have like an hour to burn.

And I'll sit there deliberating whether or not I should go to like the Chick-fil-A. That's a maybe four minute walk. But I deliberate for so long that it becomes an actual time issue. To where it's like, all right, if you want it now, you got to go now if you want those breakfast biscuits. Yeah, I always bring like, food and snacks and stuff with me. Like I'm ready to go on those trips. Do you go to the C&N store sometime or not the C&N? I bring my enormous lap. I've got a really big razor blade gaming laptop that's like, I don't know really big razor blade gaming laptop. That's like, I don't know how big that monitor is, but it's huge. Like it's a gaming monitor laptop and I'll

play Civ five in the airport. Uh, the whole time I zone complete. I'll plug into the wall over there and do my own thing. Usually adding plugs to airports has been, has been good. Maybe that's your problem, Scott. Maybe you're not high on marijuana enough to enjoy the airport stress. Just blast it. That's what I need. You would hate it. You would hate it so much because what I'm trying to do is turn something that I find monotonous into something kind of precarious and scary.

I like that it's scary and intimidating to do it. It's fun because every step of the way going through that airport, I'm like, okay, made it to the train. We didn't do anything weird on the escalator. Okay, now just hold on to the strap and don't fall into anybody. Do you think you'd be a little more mellowed out though if you were all goofed up on a couple giant glasses of Grand Gala compared to the weed. I've done that. I've done that too. I've- That's the more normal one. Lots of people take it.

But I don't start drinking in my car before I go in the airport, obviously. Trying to hide it from the drug dog. You're drinking in the parked car in the lot. I'm not drinking water out of an Aquafina bottle in the parking lot or anything. But what I will do is when I do get to my gate, I'll go to a bar and get myself a Bloody Mary

and then I'll have another two on the flight and that three or four hours will go by quick. A Bloody Mary on a flight. Yeah, it's my go-to. I like the tomato juice. It hides the awfulness of the vodka. And what I don't wanna do in front of this group of first-class passengers is like, shoop, shoop,

like Jason shoot like an asshole of first class passengers is like, shoot, shoot, like Jason shoot, like an asshole in first class. I want to discreetly sip my beverage like a gentleman. You don't want to be slurring, asking for more pretzels before you take off. Yeah. I don't want them up by the cabin being like that white trash guy over there has had his fifth bloody Mary. Yeah, I know. He pinched my ass. I don't want to be the piece of shit on the flight. So I, you know, I sit my Bloody Mary. That's my go-to for sure. If I have to have a mixed drink. I can't do Maker's Mark or any of that stuff anymore. The last time I had that when we were in Boston that time. Oh yeah. I gave him mine. He was

not thankful. I mean I drank it up. I gave him mine. He was not thankful. I mean, I drank it up. I was, that was good. That was good drunk. Yeah. I was not at all bashful about hating this alcohol and Kyle pretended to like it. That was the first time we'd ever met. So I didn't know what to drink.

That was the first time I ever met about what he said. I was like, you want to get a drink? And he's like, sure. And I was like, all right, well, I've been drinking these. And I ordered us two makers mark Manhattan's and he went Nope Yes again That comes with a gingerbread cookie

Yeah, I'm more of a diet dr. Pepper guy I think on the next trip we went to that is the same trip But it was like a our note was the next trip we went to is the same trip, but it was like a art. No, it was the Chicago trip like months later. And by that time, the next time Woody and I drank together, it was gingerbread martinis. I knew what to order. Yeah, that sounds pretty festive and definitely had a gingerbread in it. Yeah, that's kind of fun.

Chat liens on another drinking episode. And I'm like, you're going to have to find another attack vector. It has occurred to me. I might not ever have another alcoholic drink until the day I die and that brings me a sense of relief and joy if you think I'm going to spearhead this we should start drinking thing no you need to get someone else to lean on me I'm not gonna be driving this train it's not gonna work cuz none of us want to if are. So I would do it if there are. Tell me I can feel more terrible Friday morning.

I always feel this need to to overdo it for the show. And then and then the alcohol makes me even more likely to do that. And then and so that last one I drank. Well, I mean, the last two, I got blackout drunk and felt, and just didn't remember some of the stuff I said. And I said really awful stuff. But if you want to, if you want to limit it to like six beers over four hours, I'll go buy a six pack of beer. That would, I would do that. See, even that then, then that wouldn't please anyone because the whole reason they'd want to

watch it is because they want us to get trashed and none of us are going to get trashed off beers in four hours. I can drink six entire beers. You sweet summer child. You can you're you're you're an adult 200 ish, probably a little less pound. Yeah. You're going to filter through that. Like you might not, you won't feel like a million bucks, but you're not going to be like an hour. You filter through a drink an hour and you know it. I don't know. All I'm saying is I would do something like that where we're just good and tipsy, but not blasted. But what we've done in

the past where I've just, I drank a whole bottle bottle of vodka that one night and then started a second. And I don't remember what I said. I had to go back and watch it afterwards to see the awful things I said. And, and my memory, it's so weird to do that because I never feeling, I'd never blacked out before and lost huge chunks of memory, but I'm watching us do our show and I'm like, okay, I remember this. Kind of remember that. And now I don't have any memory. It went like that. It was like, okay, this is the part where my brain cut off. And I'm looking at my face and the thing, and I'm like glazed eyes.

I think I'm saying something awful about, uh, Malenia's husband who fell and broke his back. Like, like I'm just saying, I'm like, Oh, Laina, I'm making fun of Elena and her crippled husband and her pepperoni nipples and just, just going on a rant. I don't know if I had my pepperoni nipple bored, but, but I was really going, going hard in the paint. I was saying that maybe she wanted a man who could walk all sorts of mean shit. Yeah. I had the pepperoni board, I guess.

I had the record nipples. Arreola is getting darker when a woman is pregnant. It's a temporary condition. Yeah. temporary condition, Kyle. I wouldn't know. I'm not a filthy breeder. Um, what we're talking about, Scott, Scott is this that Woody was really into this, this couple who were YouTubers named Sailing La Vagabond. And it's a

cute Australian couple who sell the world on their boat and such. And she posted pictures of her nursing her baby and she's got these really large dark nipples. And so I created a scoring system for things that was pepperoni nipples. And so I had my board and I got these enormous pepperonis, like the really big boys. Yeah, you were eating them too. They were delicious. They were so good. And I would rate things. I would rate things. I give that four out of five pepperoni nipples and I was stuck to the board. I liked your half ratings where you'd eat half the pepperoni and then you'd just take it back on.

I don't remember that. That made me laugh. That's good shit. It is funny to get leaned on for like, you guys need to do another drinking episode where you get trashed. And I'm like, I don't want to. Nobody doesn't want to. And almost positive Kyle doesn't want to.

So it's going to be a pass on all fronts. Yeah, here's what I'll say about it. And I definitely stand with the group. I would do a light drinking episode where we're a little tipsy, maybe three beers, maybe a beer an hour or a beer, a half an hour or something like that. Just get a little tipsy. I'd be down for that, but I can't do a hardcore drinking episode again. That's just, for one thing, I just feel like an asshole. I didn't, I shouldn't have said those mean things. And for another, like that hurts. It hurts to be that drunk. That was, I didn't, I shouldn't have said those mean things. And for another, like, that hurts. It hurts to be that drunk. That was, I, I, I, there's pictures, there's pictures of me

laying on the floor and I'm just like, miserable, miserable. We were playing a video games the other night and Scott, I don't think you're much of a, much of a drinker, but you have all these fruity tooty wines that you'll drink. And what was it you had? You had like that wine. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Jew. Yeah, the Jew wine.

Yeah, the the menace of its switch. I didn't know that's how you pronounce it until you mentioned it. I was always calling it menace. It's Yeah, it's like a square bottle of wine that I've seen at grocery stores in that section where like they have matzah and the Jewish crackers and stuff. And so I recognize what you were having and you were drinking like, like probably what Ben Shapiro drinks. Yeah, because like me, like I'm not like I'm not much of a drinker. Cause like me, like I'm not like, I'm not much of a drinker, but like when I do drink, it's like, depending on what I drink, I just get too drunk too quick.

And then I want to drink more, you know, I'm one of those guys who like, yeah, even if I know my limit, I'm like, yeah, but it's cool. It's cool. You know, and I ended up doing something stupid, but like those, that wine is like just right for me so that I don't like do something stupid. And that's that's why I like drinking those, you know, I don't really like it. I don't know. It depends what mood I'm in. It's probably it's gonna be beer liquor, though. Probably not wine. That's that in between the two modes for me. You know what I mean? Because

the liquor is like, let's get trashed right now. And the beer is more of a chill and eat a hot dog kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, beer's always the move. You ease into it more. That's what I was gonna say. I mean, I slam beers.

Yeah. Like when I do drink beer. You physically can't slam them the way you can slam liquor. But the way I can though, like if I'm gonna can though, like, like if I'm going to drink beers, like the first one I'm going to guzzle, I'm going to like kill the first one. Yeah. Like, like, like, and then I'm going to start sipping on the second one. Like every time I like to get good and drunk, I could be an alcoholic.

I could, I could, I could see it. You know what I mean? You put your nose to the grindstone and you worked for it. Thank you. If I worked at it just a little bit, I could be an alcohol. I can I can taste it I can tell that like If if I were to buy like a like a 12 pack of beer like buy that ninth one I'd be like damn these are good

Happy nice and hoppy. I'd be gargling it I like it'll start tasting good after they ate their ninth one and I'll be hooked. I like it'll start tasting good after the eighth or ninth one and I'll be hooked. I like, I don't know. Well, maybe for the best. No. Oh, I mean, I know. Like, like I've got my, my grandfathers were both like abusive alcoholics and died from it eventually. So I, you know, got to stay away from that sort of thing. Yeah.

Still abusive though. Still want to be abusive, but you want to do it on natural. Yeah. I want to be present for the abuse. I don't want to be masking it with drugs or alcohol. You don't need PDDs for your abuse. Yeah, my grandfather's time you could use those performance enhancers to slap your lady around. Little alcohol, but no. I do it all natty. Back in the day, like professional baseball players in like 1910, they'd be like, oh, that's Jackie Stevenson, you know, one of the best hitters in the league enjoys seven

beers an inning, just something he does. And it's like, wow, it's even more impressive that he has to work on one of those big skyscrapers and eat lunch on a girder after this. Like those old timey dudes. Yeah, they're just drinking all the time. Yeah, I like the idea of Babe Ruth being a great player, but he didn't really have to play against any black people or Spanish people. And they seemed to be really good at baseball. And also he was all fat and bad. So I'm not sure he could have, I wonder though,

like if he were born today and like what clearly showed talent early and had modern sports science, you know, he wouldn't be crushing chili dogs. Maybe he'd be a, an Albert Pujols body body style, like a heavier guy and powerful, but not chunky, which is what I always see him as in the pictures yeah basketball has that too you know like will chamberlain scoring 100 points against five white guys who don't know that jumping is an important part of the game okay hey beruth was playing on barbiturates too is like the crazy thing. Really?

Yeah, like some quailu tear shit he's trying to catch fucking pop flies. That's gotta be insane. Wow, I didn't know that. Yeah, the thing I always like, I'm from Royston, Georgia. So Ty Cobb is the hometown hero. So I buy into that propaganda of like the the type cob put out that babe root he said he didn't hit home runs cuz cuz he didn't want to it's easy hitting him home runs you just hit it hard he's like he was more of a base hit

guy they say he's the greatest hitter of all time in baseball although there's modern times now for this crazy stuff happened that Japanese guy that Dodgers got the Tommy guy or whatever he absurd. It's fucking absurd. He's breaking the space stealing records, the hitting records, and he's a pitcher. It's just ridiculous. I hate the Dodgers so much. I hope a natural disaster takes, if their flight went down, get a fresh start then Taylor. The Dodgers? No, the Braves. You want your own team to go down and a fiery cataclysm?

We need a fresh start, dude. We need to rename the team like I honestly feel like so bad about that team that I think they should rename themselves and start anew. I mean, it can't it couldn't hurt. And they should also be named anyway. Braves kind of fucking gauche. I think it's fucking cool, honestly. I think I really appreciate.

I like that nobody comes after us, really. Like, no one's given the Braves too much of a hard time. The way they did the Redskins, because that was clearly a little much. Right. Well, I agree and disagree. The Redskins is a wild. Well, it'd be like if you called somebody a team, the slanty eyes, you know, it's like

the feather heads. Or if you look at like, it's funny to take that like mascot anger and direct it towards like the fighting Irish because that is just a drunk Irishman. Yeah. Like putting up his dukes. It looks like a leprechaun. It does. You're totally wrong. It's okay to make fun of white people. That's true. You can get away with that. And I don't think they should change it anyway.

I think they should make it more offensive. Give them a shillelagh, have them chasing a minority. The Irish were known as the N words of Europe for a long time. They were roundly disliked. They still are. Yeah, right. So you're arguing that that's dangerous. I do like what he said, you give him a broken bottle. Dude, a broken bottle would be hilarious with that mascot.

He's chasing a potato, but he keeps kicking it and stumbling forward. I would say every time he bends to pick it up. Yeah. I like the offensive mascots. Um, the thing about the Red Jims changing to the commanders is the commanders is such a bad name and there's not even a mascot. Like, I don't even know. There's, there's no mascot, but what is a commander?

Washington. It's the letter W, but I'm thinking like the mascot could be, you know, George Washington, the guy that crossed the Potomac. Yeah, yeah, it would have to be George Washington. That's what they're trying to insinuate. Delaware, across the Delaware. Taylor, be honest. Who's the best mascot in the NHL?

That duck, that duck thing is cool. I like the Mighty Ducks, but. You know where I'm going. I know, yeah, you like gritty and gritties is pretty funny too. He's a he's up there, right? He's definitely up there. I like how how no effort was put into gritty. Like he's not supposed to be gritty.

Jack, I'm unfamiliar. It's just an orange suit. It's just an orange mascot suit that you could like put on stage with Chuck E. Cheese and the rest of his band and it would fit right in. Like it's not like, Oh yeah, the Philadelphia Flyers. Gritty's paying an homage to it's like, no, it's just a guy in an orange suit with big googly wacky eyes.

He's related to the Philly Phenanyc. That's the lore that I made up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't like this? That's orange grimace. I think, I think Gritty is one of the better ones. Yeah. Yeah, I like this a lot, Woody. This is... He's also funny. He does a lot of good funny stuff. Like some have... I don't really like the hyper athletic mascots,

the people who could be on the team. No, that's not what mascots are for. I like the funny ones. And to me, these two, they're brothers from a different mother. Yeah, he is good. Really really I just didn't realize how bad most of the nhl mascots the frenetic is the frenetic is a great mascot show uh show um, what is it? Correct me please. Phenatic. Oh, I always heard I always heard them say frenetic. They said frenetic and it's always sunny as a joke to be like, oh, major league baseball is going to come after us if we call them the fanatic.

And so they called them frenetic. That's literally where I know that from. You're absolutely right. Yeah. Yeah. God damn it, Sonny. They were trying to avoid being sued. Yeah, that's what's going on.

I like Atlanta. Atlanta has the freeze. I think they call him. I think it's a, um guy that runs the guy that runs He's the only athletic man. I didn't I never thought of him as a mascot I thought of him as an entertainer like yeah, but I really enjoy I've watched him All right, so that's the freeze right there so in Atlanta and Atlanta we do this thing where you go down So that's the freeze right there. So in Atlanta, uh, and Atlanta, we do this thing where you go down and race guy, the onesie dude,

dude, look how powerful he's bit. He's built that. So what you do is you have to race the freeze around the perimeter of the, uh, of the stadium and they give you a huge head start. And they always pick a white guy that looks like this, like a little athletic, but he didn't run in high school. The seven beers deep, so eight then let this guy get like 200 yards It looks like this like a little athletic, but he didn't run in high school seven years deep Let this guy get like 200 yards ahead and then they turn the freeze loops

They on chain them They unleash him And and he fucking kills it. That's that's chief I don't know if that was chief Nakahoma because it actually wasn't I know for a fact it wasn't I don't know who this is But we have another guy who's like a mascot who looks like an Indian chief and he's chief Nakahoma I think I'm pretty sure about that that looks like the oh We don't talk about that We don't talk about that. No, that was fun. Every once in a while the freeze loses

and that's a good show too. You've probably seen it. Yeah, just a dad who doesn't like, if I was up there, I'd be like all the losers, you know? I'd look okay for like half the distance, maybe even two thirds on a good day. And by the end I'm falling or something. But every so often some dad keeps it up

for the whole distance and Mr. Freeze underestimated it. Is it the same guy? Has the same guy been the Freeze for a long time? I don't know if they still even do it, but when they did do it, it was the same guy every night. He was very fast. He started on the groundskeeping team, I think. And then they discovered they had this jewel working there

and created the freezes and super successful entertainment thing. Yeah, it's cool. It's a funny gimmick. Are you watching him run? Yeah, yeah. It's pretty good, right? Well, the pants off these drunk idiots. Dude, if they came to me in a Braves game and they're like, sir, you've been selected to face the freeze, I do it.

Fuck you. You saw an easy mark. You watched me get on a name basis with the hot dog guy earlier and you know that I'm going to run halfway and fucking vomit all over the second base. I think the move the move would be to come out slow because what he's doing He's trying to judge your speed and he wants to beat you narrowly It seems and so if I come out slow and then I got woody up there to scream whenever I need him to say a Code word whenever they turn the freeze loose because then I got to really pick it up. I got to show my hidden talent of going 12 miles per hour. Of going like an eight on a treadmill.

You've got me by four. Yeah, yeah. I'm slow and it's awkward. I am not a runner. The freeze would make me look a fool. I've seen people fall. They realize that the freeze is catching them and they try to like get another gear and they trip and fall on their face. It's great. So it's, I'd rather watch the freeze than the Braves play, fucking losers. Oh, just imagine being like one of the top teams

in baseball year after year, but not the very best. The people- I only care about wins, okay? I only care about wins. I. I only care about wins. I don't, I don't, I don't want to be third in the division. I don't want to be, I don't want to win a, a division title. I don't even want to pin it. I want some series.

I want you to win the world series every five years on average. That's such a high ask. There's like, that's what I'm asking for. You should be in the series at least every five years. Like that's what I'm really asking you. You should be in the series at least every five years. Like that's what I'm really asking. You should be in the series every five years. If I see for a good playoff run, like I just want to be in the conversation. You know, if I'm like, hey, you name four teams that might win the chip this year. If mine's on that list, it's pretty cool.

The the Sixers right now, they won one game in February. They are tanking there. If they get a top five draft pick, they won one game in February. They are tanking. If they get a top five draft pick, they keep it. Sixer worst, they can't get six, it's weird. But if they don't get in the top five, then it goes to Oklahoma, I think. So they're losing as much as they can. Scott, Perea or Ankaliyev? as they can. Scott, Perea or Ankolyev?

My heart says Perea. I like Perea better. I'm hoping he sprawls. If he sprawls, he's got it, I think. What I hope happens, and what we're talking about is the main event for the UFC event this weekend. It's Alex Perea versus Ankalaya. Ankalaya, we're afraid, is going to take advantage of the fact Pereira is not more of a kickboxer

and doesn't have a lot of wrestling experience and take him down and whoop him. And I'm hoping that Pereira can knock him out before that happens. Like goddamn, he's so good. I've been saying this every time Pereira wins. I'm like, God damn, he's so good. I, I've been saying this every time for rare wins. I'm like, my God, he wins one more like this. How are you not going to put him in that goat conversation or at least in the top three of it, but he's, he's, he's clearing these divisions out. He's taking all commerce. I look forward to it. It's going to be a hell of a fight. The co-main is maybe Gagey, right? Yeah. Gagey and, uh,

it was supposed to be Dan Hooker, but for some reason Hooker pulled out, so it's Rafael Fiziv. Hooker's hurt. I forget the injury, but it was no joke. I forget what it was. Has Perre ever fought any good wrestlers? I was looking at his list and no one jumps out at me.

Yeah, not. Nobody's tried to take him down or really shot on him that I've seen. Everybody's tried to kickbox with him. Yeah, I think if he if he can stay off the cage, I think he's fine because like a lot of these like I don't even know if Anko live is Dagestani, but you know, like a lot of the dudes who come from that region of the world, they have a system where they just push you up against the cage and shoot and take you down, that way you can't sprawl. So if he can stay in the center of the cage, I think he might be all right, because he is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, and you know, to share, he's gonna have like top talent coming in to train with. I'm a big Pereira supporter. I'm gonna bet on it.

I guess I'll bet on Ankle I have that way. I'll be happy either way. That's what I usually do. I bet I'll take an Ankle I have, if you wanna put five down. Yeah, yeah, done. Okay. I'm looking forward to it.

We'll be in there. If anybody wants to come and watch it with us, we'll be in the 50 patron chat watching that thing this weekend. And Gagey's always a banger. I love watching Gagey go. It's Saturday night? The day this comes out? Yeah. I think I already talked about it a little bit, but I saw Poirier talking about fighting Michael Chandler and talking about what a piece of shit he was. He put his fingers in his

mouth and kind of fish-hooked his head up to try to get a choke Mm-hmm, and he's like and then he lied about it. It's like he goes I bit his fingers so hard He's like if I didn't have my mouth guard in if I'd had my top teeth. Oh He's like I know he bled you asked that ho he bled was he trying to get under his neck Is that why he had his fingers in his mouth? He like grabbed his his top row of teeth and pulled back to try to get the choke. And before that, I don't know if you remember this fight, it was brutal. Before that, he was spitting blood in his eyes and stuff on purpose. And poor he's like,

I've spit blood in people's eyes before. It's very effective. I didn't mind that. I like that. I like it. You know, he's just he's being like his fingers in my mouth. And then he said he didn't. And I'm going to tell you when another man sticks his fingers in your mouth, you know, you don't get confused. That's such a weird thing to do, too, because like there's better.

There's better ways to do that. So what's your way? He he electively stuck his fingers here when he could have just, he literally could have disrupted the breathing. Yeah. That'll make him lift their chin up. Yeah. I think Chandler just has a thing for like

inserting digits or something. Cause I've heard shit like that before about him too. I think he's just a dirty fighter. He's looking for anything, which whatever, but I don't like that before about him too. He's a dirty fighter. He's looking for anything. Whatever. But I don't like that. I remember him spitting the blood. I think Luke Rockhold maybe did that in a fight too one time and I didn't like it then either. And it's like, I'm not a fighter, but I'm just, this feels like too much. You know what I mean? It's like, that's just seems like too much. I don't want to see that as a fan. I definitely don't want to see that

I don't want to see my guy like do that to somebody and I want to see it done to him It's just fucking gross and they do it on purpose like they're clearing their nose into this guy's eyes You know from the top and it's like ah, so awful. Oh god. I hope we all got tested They call those a professional fouls, you know. Yeah, so you accidentally hit a dude in the nuts. You're like, oh, sorry. You know, that type of shit. Yeah, it seems like you get one.

It seems like I watch it. I watch every fight and I watch every single fight, I think. And it's like, it seems like the move here, because I watch a lot of times with people who've never seen any UFC and somebody kicked in the nuts or poked in the eye and be like all right so what happens he gets a foul and like well they say he gets a warning all right well if he does it again he didn't take a point away well not sometimes but kind of kind of up to the ref and it depends how more likely a more stern warning, more likely a more stern warning and really, okay, well the third time,

uh, he files him. Well, you're going to see new levels of sternness on this one. And it's like, well, it actually depends on what kind of foul the third foul is. Cause you could kick him in the nuts twice and then poke him in the eyes and you probably, and you still won't lose a point because, because that's a different thing. It's going to say, Hey, I mean it this time. And now you're over there trying to cough your balls back into existence,

blinking through tears because your corneas are scratched. And it's and the refs are saying, OK, he's been warned. Get back after it. Come on, work. Fuck that. I wish they would be. Look, sometimes accidents happen. I'm sure like some of those kicks especially are like like like around the upper thigh and then and then people move in when you throw the kick and it changes where it lands I get all that but the eye pokes is my main thing I hate eye pokes determining fights and I

I'm also like irked because I don't want my eyeballs fucked with like I got a thing about my eyeballs I like about eyes in general I I got a thing about my eyeballs. I like about eyes in general. I've got a thing where I don't like my eyes fucked with. It's a little bit of a phobia. Like when I get a hair in my eye. It's really upsetting when I see someone with a bloody eyeball. And I've seen it in the UFC where like fingernails have gone in there and cut their eyelids and scratched their eyeball. And these guys are the toughest dudes in the world. And they're just tough.

And they're blinking through the tears trying to make their body do a thing it won't do. They're pretending like they can they can see two fingers and they don't even you know, and I hate that determining fight. That's the worst thing that happens. Whenever that happens and I'm watching the fights with a new person who's never seen him I'm a little embarrassed for the sport I like it's like ah you saw the thing that we don't that we're embarrassed of like this this doesn't happen Well, actually it does happen quite often it it ruins a lot of nights probably every third fight night

There's a fight ruined by this. I would say I talked about it toughness. That's one of the things I I would say every third of the event. Toughness, that's one of the things I like. This has played out so many times in so many corners. A fighter will come back, he'll sit down on the bench and he'll explain how hurt he is and how that's impairing his ability to fight. And I think he wants the coach to give him a little like, ooh, one eye and a broken arm, that is a rough spot.

Instead they're like, this is no time to be a pussy about one-eyed broken arms. You need to get in there. You know, like GSP was like, I pulled my groin. It's hard to walk. What? Get up with your groin then. And I'm like, get up with your groin.

You're my coach. Not even good advice. But it's a testament to how tough these boys are. Yeah. That happened with, I don't know if it was the last one. It might have been, but it was a Henry Sihuto versus Song Yedong. Henry got poked in the eye. He took almost all five minutes of the time.

And I think he ended the round. It was like there was like 30 seconds left. He just ended it on his on his horse. He didn't like try and attack or anything like that and he goes back to his corner and you can kind of tell he's like I can't see anything and They're trying to talk him through it and he's like I I can't see anything. He's like kind of Heavy he was asking for the towel. Yeah, basically basically. Yeah Yeah, this is a get a towel He was asking for the towel. Yeah. Basically, basically. Okay. Yeah.

This is a, I like to get a towel. No, but they kind of fixed it by, there's some rule that if it's championship rounds or in this case, just main event, if you get to round four and there's an injury, they'll go by the scorecards. So they literally kind of technicality, they were like, we're gonna start round four and there's an injury, they'll go by the scorecards. So they literally kind of technicality. They were like, we're going to start round four, call it immediately,

and then we'll go to scorecards. Oh, okay. This is the Tashira Anthony Smith fight and Anthony Smith's in the corner saying my teeth are falling out. My teeth are falling out and it's like that's a lot. He doesn't say, oh my God, my teeth are falling out. He's like, hey, just so you know, my teeth are falling out of it's like that's a lot he doesn't say oh my god my teeth are falling out he's like hey just so you know my my teeth are falling out of my mouth that's okay it happens it happens part of the sport there uh or um there's a woman's fight

there was a woman's fight a week or two ago and she i don't know how she got it but she got this gash on her knee that looked like she'd been in a car accident and she was sitting on the on the stool and she was like, how bad is it? She like wasn't going to look at it. And they're like, it's not that bad. It's bad. It's bad. It was deep. And I don't, I think, I think she tore it on the mat sprawling or something. Yeah. I don't know how she got it. It was nasty. Yeah. That's a tough sport. I wouldn't want any part of that shit, dude. Oh, yeah. How often do you, when you're rolling at your gym, Scott, how often are you sparring for real or practice fighting in a high intensity, a real level of intensity?

like a high intensity, a real level of intensity? It depends. I try to avoid it now because I'm getting older and I need to make sure I can get to work the next day. But every now and again, someone will come in. I had this blue belt come in. I don't know where he even got his blue belt. And he was kind of getting on my nerves. So like I picked up the pace with him. That's probably the most recent time I did it. And like once a month tops for me right now, you know? And plus I'm also out of shape too. So my tip top intensity is not what it used to be.

But very rarely nowadays, My tip top intensity is not what it used to be. But very rarely nowadays, because I'm trying to avoid injuries and shit like that. Would you say that's what it happens the most when you're teaching a lesson? Usually for me, it's like I'm relaxed and I'm going with like a spazzy white or blue belt. And like, I think like, oh no, that's cool. You know, I'm all good. I'm fine and I'm going with like a spazzy white or blue belt and like, I think like, oh no, it's cool. You know, I'm all good.

I'm fine from here. I'm gonna let him work. And then out of nowhere, he cranks something, you know? Cause I go from like relaxed, relaxed to, oh shit, you know? And that's just not fun. That was not trying to be tough guy, but that was never it for me. If the other guy was way better than me,

that was a real calm, chill thing, right? Sometimes they'd even be teaching me while they're beating me. And if the inverse happened, that was also a really calm, chill thing, you know? Like, oh, this guy doesn't know what he's doing. Even if he's spazzing, I'm not threatened by this. Go ahead, tie yourself out.

I can't wait for 30 seconds from now. The problem is when he's my peer, when there's some like, I think I'm the alpha here and he thinks he's the alpha and we're going to figure out who's right. That's when we went the hardest always. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's good to have guys like that though, every now and again, it helps you push yourself. Like right now, I really don't have anyone like that at my gym.

And that's like the thing that I'm missing. Actually Joe, Joe Lowe's on is, uh, he's, he's opening up, um, um, a second location in my area. So I'm probably going to pop in there a few times, you know? Oh, nice. I've currently a tiny bit. Oh my God, they're all fucking athletes there. Every one of them looks like they belong on a magazine covers.

I'm like, who are these people? What am I doing? Is that what Joe does? Uh, cause I know he's retired from UFC. He's, uh, kind of training coaching. Joe won his last fight and he wants another. Um, and, uh, and I think that's, I think that's the situation. Joe's last fight, he wasn't supposed to win. I think he fought a young kid. I and that was it was a good Jits guy.

And Joe fucked him up. And like maybe one or two rounds, it was it was it was it was pretty decisive. And Joe was like, I think coming out on a high and was like, I want another one. Give me another one. And Dana was like, I thought we said that was the last one. So I think I kind of think that's where they are. There's a little more to the story. Then they booked him against Cowboy and Cowboy got hurt.

So there was no fight. So they rescheduled it. And then Joe got hurt. So there was no fight. And that's where it ends. They should do the clay. We the rematch. That would be a good one. That was a wild fight I went to his Wikipedia page Joe Lozano is a semi-retired American professional MMA artist, okay

Yeah Yeah, well, I don't I mean this last fight was in 2019 So it's been a lot. He's a lost in event. Actually it was. Yep. He's almost 41 in May will be 41. Yeah. Who's your favorite fighter Scott? Like you're the one you enjoy watching the most.

Um, yeah, you know, like it's it's tough because like I don't love a lot of modern MMA. Um, I feel like it's become gamified. But I do like Pereira, Justin Gagey, because I like Justin Gagey because I feel like he represents what MMA like was supposed to be, you know. But like, other than that, you know, like Mirko Krokop is probably my favorite MMA guy. My favorite boxer would be Marvin Hagler. Those, obviously those guys are not fighting anymore. Marvin Hagler's dead, but. No.

Can you name a favorite fight? That's a good one. That Rory fight. Ooh, that's a good one. Rory versus. Robbie Lawler. Robbie Lawler. Oh yeah. That's the one we watch Rory versus Robbie Lawler.

That's the one watching the theater, right? True. Yeah, me and Woody watched that in a theater with a whole bunch of other people. It was sick. Connor probably better than going to the event. It was better than going to the event. It was the best viewing for UFC experience I've ever had.

Cause everybody in there was of course a UFC fan. They didn't just happen to be in a movie theater watching a UFC event So and everybody was cheering and but the audio was perfect and the video was perfect and the crowd experience was there, too So it was just the best of all the world's agreed If we just had Dana White there to like that That's what was cool about when we went was like Dana White was right there next to us We got to like see him up close and personal that was was neat. But then after that, it was like, I kind of wish I liked seeing Dana, but that was literally the highlight of going to that event because

the viewing experience sucks. Yeah, theater was great. And that fight was crazy. That Lawler-Rory fight. I felt so bad for Rory by the end. His face was a mask of blood. And then Lawler hit him in the nose again and just shattered it flat. And Lawler just couldn't take the pain. I think it was between the fourth and fifth rounds. Like they were going to their corners, but they bumped shoulders and both of them were like, you think you're the alpha in this octagon?

I'm the alpha. They bumped shoulders again. Like they weren't gonna like? I'm the alpha. They bumped shoulders again. They weren't gonna get out of the way. That conflict that, you know, I disagree on which one of us is the tough guy and they're figuring it out. That's one of my favorite things about it.

Sometimes when a round ends, the crowd's a little quiet and the announcer's just like, all right, that one's brought to you by Modelo. Modelo, this one, but this one, between every round round when a round would end the crowd Would go wild. Yeah, like they're cheering for that round. You know what I mean? Like it was great Yeah, when you say that uh MMA is like

Gamified now and you don't like it. What do you mean by that Scott? like Like MMA was supposed to be Rory McDonald versus Robbie Waller or like, um, uh, Forrest Griffin versus Stefan Bonner or like so many other, um, like fights and fighters out there and like what happened is nerds infiltrated and they started instead of thinking about like, and it's, it's, it's not like it's not their job to win fights you know they're doing what they're supposed to do here I'm not

trying to be like they fucking assholes but instead of like trying to be the most combat effective it became about like okay how are we gonna win on points or like you know the managerial side it, you're seeing it become more like boxing, where you got dudes who they have connections. And because of that, they get in the UFC on like five fights with handpicked guys that they've fought. And it's just like, it's just not as fun anymore, because you don't have barn burners, you have a lot of, you have a lot of guys that the striking is like kind of cookie cutter And then the grappling is just like not exciting either, you know

Like like that's that's the thing I hate about the dagestanis is like they're just fucking boring and shit to watch You know, I don't like what do you think about comes out? Because as much as I despise comes out for like half a dozen reasons as a you know Um god, it just seems like he's a chimpanzee mauling everybody he comes across. Like, I don't know who's going to be comes out. Yeah, he's he's definitely he's definitely a tough one. And I'm saying that as someone who doesn't really like him, you know, I hate him. Yeah, yeah. Like it is it is hard to find a solution to that problem, you know, especially after what he did to Robert Whitaker

You know now like honestly, I think Robert Whitaker was kind of he was gonna start being on the downslope soon If he wasn't already but like it was it was pretty crazy, you know, and I think I think You you you might you might see Homsot with the belt soon, and I don't know if he'll hold onto it for long. I need to see him next to Dricus. I need to see them stand next to one another, and then I think I'll have a better idea of whether Homsot can ragdoll him

the way he did like Kevin Johnson or whatever his name is. Dricus is so big and strong. He's so big and strong. He cuts a lot of weight. He's probably walking around. I don't even know. He cuts a lot of weight. I need to see them next to each other. I think I have a better idea.

But right now, I think Commzot is going to be the fucking champion of that division soon. Because they're fighting next. I remember seeing you... Because I like your fight comments and commentary, Scott. I'm the furthest of the four of us by far from the MMA UFC world, but you were talking about not enjoying the leg kick meta in UFC. Am I taking that right? You really just like that?

Yeah. One of the cool things about MMA is that you get to discover and rediscover new stuff. So the whole calf kick thing, I'm not saying I hate it completely, but MMA striking has become so specific to very handsy, high volume, not like, you know, throwing pillows at each other, but just not throwing with as much conviction kind of striking. And what used to be one of the cool things about MMA, which was like leg kicks and, you know, different stuff like that, you don't see as much of it anymore. It's kind of like an afterthought. It's just a way to get somebody to think, Oh, maybe he might kick me down there. I should pay attention to that. As opposed to even, even like a modern example of someone

who is like exciting to watch roundtree. He got dismantled by Pereira, but like that's, that's a top level kickboxer. There's no shame in that, you know, it's fun to watch dudes like roundtree because they're like everything they're throwing is with fucking conviction. They're trying to chop you in half with with their shin and even someone like Pereira is exciting as he is he he still kind of does that whole like you know flippy little like snappy leg kick thing just to kind of try and add a little bit of variety for his strikes. There's no wind up to his leg kick. He just it looks like there's no power to it even. But then you hear it, you know, he's just sort of throwing it out there kind of almost lazily.

But then you hear it and you see the red on there on them. It's. Pereira is great. I love watching him kick box. I love watching him do his thing. When he starts dizzy, it was the best thing I'd ever seen and then when Izzy starts him as much as I hate Izzy busy Did the fucking bow shot thing over him like an anime character the refs trying to push Izzy out of the way He's like now I'm styling on this motherfucker. Give me a minute And then he does the fake fall over mocking the man's eight-year-old son. Oh, that was good shit

It was a great rivalry. I know Izzy lost three to one, but getting a win over him has aged well. You know, it was maybe the best thing in Izzy's career. It may end up being it was crazy. I mean, obviously he's got a win over Anderson Silva and a bunch of other stuff. You make ghost of Anderson Silva. Yeah, that was a terrible fight. I couldn't believe they did that fight. That was awful. It was him, they were clowning around,

like being silly in there. It was like a sparring session kind of. It was like a sparring session for sure. That was terrible. I hate when that happens, when you've got guys that aren't really trying to fight. I hate it when two people are very good at a thing, right? Maybe they're both very good kickboxers

or they're both very good wrestlers. So they just don't do that thing. Like, you know, look, we're both high, high level grapplers. Let's not put that on the line and just punch the whole time. And that's the worst. Yeah. I mean, John Jones stopped wrestling at some point never started again.

That always annoyed me. I wanted to see him wrestle more. I hope we get John Jones Aspenall. I don't believe it. I don't think Jones is a fighter anymore. I don't believe it either. It seems like Jones should be retired and just right off into the sunset and do his goat thing. But Dana seems to think he could throw enough money at Jones to make it happen. He keeps saying it every time they ask him. He's like, that's going to happen. He keeps saying it every time they ask him. He's like, that's going to happen. He seems really confident. Scott is John Jones, as according to Kyle, the greatest fighter, greatest man of all time, or according to Woody, is he a reprehensible ghoul and cheater?

No other option, no nuance. You got to pick a team. We don't want to hear you say they both have good friends. I kind of got to agree with Woody because because because all that's point for me. Look, if you if you look at John Jones's early career, right, he looks like a senior beating up on freshman boys, right? Like the middle living on 185 pounders. Yeah, yeah. And it's really easy to do all that. Like, hey, you should see me when I coach the kids Muay Thai.

If you guys want to come to my gym this Saturday, I'm going to coach kids Muay Thai. I'll show you all the coolest shit you've ever seen on the eight year olds in my class. All right. Scott's undefeated in his class. Exactly. Exactly.

Fucking. I just imagine like somehow an eight year old getsated in his class. Exactly. Exactly. Fucking. I just imagine like somehow an eight year old gets one in on Scott. Scott's trying to be real. He's doing like a triple spin or something and the kid kicks him in the back of his calf and Scott falls and he gets up and just, Oh, Oh, Oh. Everybody's like looking at the kid. Like he's the new sensei. You're like, uh, you're like Kramer and his karate class against children. You're talking about how right I was. Yes, you're talking about right and wrong.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, like that's, that's kind of my issue with John Jones is that like, there's, there's a lot of, there's a lot of fights where it's like, yeah, of course he was gonna win that. Like he beat Rampage in what, like 2010 or 11 or something like that. Rampage was Rampage in like 2007. Chael Sonnen, I mean, I love Chael Sonnen, especially on a microphone, but like,

if we're, if we're going to be honest here, I don't think that was a fight he was ever going to win. Yet another 185 pounder that went up to 205 to lose to John Jones. Now that's true. But, but although like, so that was the very first pay-per-view I ever watched. I watched it at Woody's house and I had no idea what I was looking at or any of the characters and he laid it out to me. And I was instant, we were watching the pre-game like thing that, you know, where you get, they show Chael talking is what happened. They show Chael on the mic and Chael's like,

oh, I'm gonna make this guy look like a fool. I'm gonna take him to school and it's gonna look cool. And everyone, all the ladies are gonna say, Chail Son and Wools. And I'm like, holy shit, that's the toughest guy in the world. No one would be so confident if they didn't believe it. Because these guys are about to go have a fist fight. You can't say that kind of shit and then like not come through with it. But of course that's the game. And so like the fight begins and I'm like, oh no, that black man is so much bigger than Chael Sonnen. How did that happen? He's like, he's like six

inches taller. Chael Sonnen. And Chael's just mean mugging him. He's, he's, I'm like, Chael Sonnen is an actor, I think. When Chael tells the story of that fight, it's great.'m like, Chael Sonnen is an actor, I think. He's more of an actor than a fighter. When Chael tells the story of that fight, it's great, right? So Chael Sonnen's been caught with more, Chael Sonnen had the records for most banned substances caught simultaneously until John Jones took the record from him. Anyway, Chael Sonnen tells the story

of when he fought John Jones and he's like, I'm in there. I got more juice than me than a Tropicana. I think I'm ready to fight. I get a hold of John. He doesn't go anywhere. And I'm like, I know your secret. You're juicing too.

That was just a roid on roid battle. John tore his own toe off in that fight and it was one of the more gruesome injuries in MMA history. There's maybe half a dozen that come to mind. Some big gaping axe wounds on people's foreheads between their eyes and Robbie's lip that time and I've seen every leg break where they put their weight on it and it went all wackadoo and disgusting and I've seen all that but when Jones tore his own toe off sideways, he ripped it, he ripped his right toe I think to the left like away from the other toes and it was dangling. He did it beating the shit out of Chael's son and Chael was on the

ground against the fence and John was pushing against him with so much force he tore his own toe off and then of course the fight's over and uh and John looks down at his toe while they're like raising his hand like and the winner is and all that shit John looks down at his toe and then he looks up like like he's about to pass out like he just saw it for the first time do you know he'd feel it yeah he saw he's seeing it for the first time. Do you know he'd feel it? Yeah, he saw it for the first time and he was going, oh, oh, my toes off. Yeah, you don't you don't feel anything in that situation. It all hits you like 20 minutes later. And I always say if if Joe, if Chale had gotten through that round,

he'd have been the champ and Jones would have taken an L that night because he didn't have a toe. And you can't take going on to round two or three or whatever it was with no toe. And by the way, I think it was round one and angling. They wouldn't have let him fight with that. He would have been dequeued and it would have been TKO or something. I don't know what it would have been medical disqualification. But, uh, and the thing is the round had like less than 10 seconds left, if I remember right. Does that sound right, Scott? Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, it was close. Yeah, he was seconds away from winning the 205 pound UFC belt against John Jones. That would have been wild. He was seconds away from from beating Anderson Silva. Chael Son's got one of the most interesting careers of all time. And you know, his father never got to see him do that stuff. That's a sad ass story. There's two like alternative universes.

There's the one where he lasts a few more seconds against John Jones and gets the belt. And then there's the one where he beats Anderson Silva. And then you might not remember, he tested positive for roids after that. He got busted for steroids on the night that he almost beat, like he tested hot right after that fight. And what would they have done with that? Would the UFC have buried it? Jel Sonnen, back when I believed more lies than I do now, was like, this is a misunderstanding.

I told Dana I was on the TRT exemption, which existed at the time. And I guess he forgot, he doesn't remember the conversation, but this is prescribed by a doctor. It wasn't. Then I am on medically necessary TRT. He wasn't. And it was like, I believed everything he said.

None of it was true. It's not a doctor? Well then explain to me why his avatar has a lab coat in our Snapchat conversation. Silk road with the other doctors. It says doctor on his name on my phone. The context says doctor. That's actually who I learned credentials.

Was that nothing? Sorry. Oh, that's, that's how I learned to shit talk was from listening to Chael Sonnen. That's why someone will be like, dude, you suck. And I'll be like, dude, you're literally losing the game for us right now.

I have like three vils left. I'll be like, dude, you are awful up and carrying you the whole game. Like I got that shit from Chael Sonnen. Just deny and reassert. Doesn't matter what the reality is. But then in defeat, complete contrition. In defeat, I remember when he lost to Michael Bisbing.

And in the, oh, did he? Could have sworn he. Yeah, he beat Michael Bisbing, but he did lose one round. And he claims that that had never happened before. And he was like, he hit so hard. That's the part I was gonna say is like, I could have sworn that was a loss, but I'm sure it was a win if you say so.

But they asked him if this being hit hard and he was like, he hit me so hard. It like, just like that. They're like, this visiting hit hard and normally it gotta be like, you know, everybody hits hard, it's the professionals. You know, they'd say some shit like that. But he's like, he hit me so hard.

It hurts so bad. That's like he hit me so hard So bad That's why you saw me like I had to stay away from him. That's when I took him down after he hit me I couldn't take another one of those I it's like I like I like that He's always honest and defeat or or at least he gives props to his fighter even his opponents in his wins I've you know, I've watched my time jail. They're hilarious Connor McGregor loses pretty well sometimes too. He always does except for four year And but I think that's because he believes it's the leg, you know, you know He thinks he would have won that fight, but he was losing it, you know before the leg broke

But but that's the one where he's laying there talking about your wife's in me DMS And he's cutting a promo with a broken leg on the ground Like Conor's leg was broken early in the fight that he was losing but you never know He's the kind of fighter who wins a fight instantly with one punch. Not exactly a grind them out kind of guy So so he could have won the fight. It's potentially possible but anyway broke his leg and he's laying there on the ground broken leg like snapped and That's when Joe hits it with the mic ground, broken leg like snapped.

And that's when Joe hits it with the mic. And he's like, you know, I've seen me DMs. It's a broken leg. What is it? Disqualification. Disqualification. No, no, no. What, what, what was the, he kept like saying something like it's not a win. It's not a loss.

It's a, it's a, um, a medical DQ or something. Like he kept saying it over and over. Sure. I do remember what you're talking about though. Yeah. It was incredible to see somebody in all that DM thing is that just completely fabricated? No, I think what was going on was they she was they were DMing but I think she was DMing him to leave her husband alone. Right like I make that

story up in my head this isn't based on any actual facts but I'm like maybe she was saying like, hey, could you leave our kids out of it? I know you're hyping a fight or something like that. Yeah, that's my suspicion. I highly doubt that Poirier's wife is actually flirting with his opponent in their next fight, especially when the opponent's Conor McGregor,

it's not like Conor's gonna like, you know, settle down with you. Sweep her away and give her the life that she dreams of. Yeah, you could take her on that yacht and do Coke with her. You think that doesn't sound like fun? You could be, you want to hang out with Conor McGregor on his yacht. You want to do some rails love. Scott, did you see the cocaine?

Did you see the video of Connor dancing with that short ugly girl at that party or whatever way back? Yeah. Like ever. All right. So there's two cuts of that. The one that everybody saw, which is like Connor sort of dissing her sort of like, ah, not you. But then like there's another video right after that where I guess he doesn't have the cameras there and he's dancing all up on her. Like they're dancing together and like they're clearly together.

That kind of is a dirty boy. Connor, what's wrong with Connor being with the little it was a midget little person. It was a little person. Yeah, let's go with that. Okay, you should have appreciated that. You're the one who's acting like they're not even real half the time. Sometimes I wonder if they even fucking exist because I haven't seen one in years and I ask people in my day-to-day life, it's a day-to-day thing that I ask people, hey, have you seen a little folk today? Every single, it's kind of a joke, but I'm curious.

It gets redundant during our conversations. It does. He brings it up a lot. I was like, have you seen a midget today? I'm like, you know, I haven't left my house in four months. I'm not sure. I'm about, I'm about six, I'm about five to six weeks out from my last midget sighting. And so it has been, I saw, I saw one at a blues game. I think it was a blues game. Okay. It was before the game. But yeah. I mean, you got 30,000 people packed in a group. Yeah. Yeah.

One little person. Passed by him and he was, he just was having a good time with his friends. I didn't like stop and talk to him, but I, I noticed, cause it's one of those things where it's like, you don't realize how long it's been since you've seen a dwarf or a little person until you see one. I think they hide from us. Yeah, thank you. This is perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the one he's holding is her. I'm looking at the little thing. Same girl, same girl. So on the left is like a clip from the video, a screenshot from the video where he definitely dissed her and what she's like dancing on him and he's just like I'm out of here But then on the ride is like a few moments later. Yeah You got his hand. He's picked her up by her gooch

I've seen I've seen more attractive little so obviously the same person Wearing the same clothes. They've got the same Just insane They're wearing the same clothes, they've got the same hair, they've got the same... just insane. If there was a shooting and Woody was the only eyewitness, oh my god. They would bring the photos in front of him, like which one was it? And you're like, that one. And that one, and that one, and that one. Well sir, to try and weed out bad information, we always include one picture of the Hamburglar. And it's not that you've chosen.

You've chosen uncle or grandma see. I can't even watch TV without my wife holding my hand at this point. I'm just like, pause. Do we know this chick? We met her before. Oh, I remember when we were talking about Game of Thrones every week when it was coming out and Kyle and I would just be blown away just being like, is this a bit we're not a

part of or something? Where Woody would be like, and then this guy and it's like clearly just a bearded old white guy. And then you mix them up with like a like you mix up like the Boromir aged old white guy with a beard with like the 102 year old guy on the wall who also is a bearded white guy. And it's like, they're not, they're 30 years apart. Dude, I, Game of Thrones is like the final elite last boss of identifying who people are. Bearded white guys run rampant in that thing. Thrones is like the final elite last boss of identifying who people are.

Bearded white guys run rampant in that thing. They might as well all have disguises on for me. I don't know. I can tell boys and girls apart, but after that good golly. For you, there's a lot of twists and turns because you see another bearded white guy and you're like, all right, what's this guy about? Just Joffrey or the PKA hangout. Like, Oh, a lot of new faces. Like, no, that guy's been in here for four years. Taylor.

Kyle and Taylor right away. I'm onto them. That's some next level face blindness. I'm looking at them again, like clearly the same person. They're both Dwarf. Scott, when's your last Dwarf sighting? You know, as soon as Kyle asked, I was like, when is the last time I saw one? I want to say like maybe two or three months ago, I was at a grocery store, you know, and, and, uh, he happened around the corner and it kind of caught me off guard for a second. I jumped a little bit. I was, you know, but, uh, yeah,

you like, you like jump, but then you don't want to make him feel bad. So you're like, you're like staring, like you're thinking about what products you need up on the shelf. What, what brand of cashews are you going to go with? Cause you don't want to make them feel bad. I don't even do that. I'm just like, Oh, what are you doing here? I guess you got to eat. Has there ever been a time where we utilized midgets because of their small

stature for like an industrial purpose or a, or a, you know, you know what I mean? Like, like, no, never midgets. They, they would use children. That makes more sense. Cause there's way more children than they're way more. Yeah. But what do you mean like a tank crew? Like, like I'm just, I thought of how like tank crews hired, they, they picked the short guys. You have to be like under, I don't know, five, five, five, six to be in a tank crew. I didn't know that. Well, I think our army does that.

I know Schwarzenegger was in a tank crew though, in't know that. Well, I think our army does that. I know Schwarzenegger was in a tank crew though, in the Austrian army and like, Oh, everybody hated that guy taking up the whole fucking cab. Yeah. He went AWOL to do a, a, a bodybuilding competition and got in a bunch of trouble. And they put him in like, what do you call it? Military jail, the stockade or something like that. Something like that. Yeah. Wow. I was crazy in my head or break something like that. Stockade is that's what they put you in. They throw apples at you.

Yeah. With the like this very common Epcot. And also you wouldn't want dwarves running your tank because like, uh, like a child's live thin fingers could get into the machinery and whatnot and like the dwarf's hands aren't made for that. So if you don't want the dwarfs running the tank, but you do need small people. Down syndrome children. Well, they're not, they're not necessarily putting a bunch of downies

inside of an a one Abrams. Do you know the destruction they could rock? Oh my God. I think across is close minded. I love this idea. You don't think that's retarded. You can't put those people. Nothing shoots depleted uranium shells.

We got this summer. The brave all down syndrome tank troop of World War II. With that in a vacuum. They surprised the German forces by tactically ignoring all orders and striving over the line of fire Conquer the cow pasture or something this is good from Zack though people with dwarfism were recruited from all over Europe and were used as popular gift to other rulers while jesters were often only gift to other rulers. While jesters were often only temporarily present at a specific court, dwarfs usually had a permanent function and were registered in the personnel roles as quote court dwarf or personal dwarf or chamber dwarf. Chamber dwarf sounds awesome.

Chamber dwarf is sick. That's I think that's like that'd be a flex, right? Like you'd go you'd go to a chieftain's home and then he would like, ah, before negotiations, how about a bit of merriment? Yes, yes. Chamber dwarf. And then like the little fellow would come out doing a cartwheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He might play a lute or like one of those fights or something like that when he danced a little jig. I imagine he'd be like a little insult comic, like a little door fish Mickey Rooney. He'd come out and give the dangerous job. Yeah, like the Pomeranian. The medieval. Hey, hey, hey, they're just coming up there. Dude, that would you could like really spook a rival chieftain. Like if he's never seen one before he could be like Icarus come then he comes out and the other chief is like oh don't do that to me like yes we have very powerful wizards and you better agree to our trades I think I think some

basic magic tricks even like only a few hundred years ago, would have been enough to get you some power or prestige or something. Like not that one, but if you did like some stage magic where they've got like a trick chair or something, the stuff that we watch today, like, I feel like Queen Elizabeth would have like given you a fleet of boats to go take over a country or something. Make you a duke. Yeah, I think they would believe, or maybe they burn you. That's always the fear going back to our Lord.

Is that, yeah, they don't see you as useful, they see you as a danger, and they just want to burn you. They always want to burn you. That's the worst. I really don't want to be burned. None of us pick that for our firing squad alternative. No, it's it's bottom tier the burning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if it's anything like small burns, it's terrible. I hate small burns. It'd be a big burn. Or like boiling oil. There was the ISIS. Did you see ISIS killed that Jordanian

pilot that time they put him in a big iron cage and just soaked him in gasoline and lit him on fire. Yeah, I think he texted me that 1240 p.m. Lunchtime lunchtime. No, you probably didn't. Yeah. I avoid those. And you don't, you don't really do that anymore. Like it's been a long while since you've been sending violent, uh, like death footage to us. And even then it's mostly like war stuff. Not, uh, like not, uh, what is that called? Two, two guys or three guys in a hammer whatever that horrible video yeah yeah I don't like that yeah I can get down with some war footage though wait there's that video of the the the Ukrainians and they're in a Bradley fighting vehicle and they take out the Russian t90 tank that's fucking cool they're shooting that auto cannon, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, and it's exploding off the T-90, blinding the T-90, the T-90's popping smoke.

You could tell they can't see where they're going. They crash into a goddamn tree. Everybody jumps at them and tries to run. And it's like the Ukrainians just took out a tank with an APC. I saw footage today, the Russians were using horses. Yeah, me too. Oh, you did?

Hell yeah. And the propagandist I was listening to was acting like their supply lines have totally failed, their background infrastructure, everything is just ruined and they're devolved into medieval tactics. That might be a little positive for the Ukrainians, but it can't be a good thing they're using horses.

My guess is I've heard a lot about a lot of different vehicles being affected for this kind of war because there are like large Areas to cover at times and there's rough terrain and I guess it's starting to fall so I would imagine that it's getting muddy again Maybe a horse is good I know there's places that you just can't go without a horse or I was gonna say we used horses in Afghanistan because like you're not gonna you're not gonna take a Humvee up a mountain like that. It just ain't happen. They've been using dirt bikes the previous couple years and maybe it's just the dirt biker in me that's like that's clearly better. There's not a horse alive that can keep up with my moderate talent on a dirt bike. Fair, fair. I don't know. I would feel I haven't seen any horses get drone struck yet. I hope

I don't. I feel bad. If I see a guy galloping and the drone chasing him down, I'm gonna feel bad. But I've seen tons of videos of dudes on motorbikes and the drones coming and they're like, Oh, no. And it's like, this is just like that scene from Terminator three that Taylor's never seen. It's actually Terminator four salvation. And it're like, oh no, and it's like this is just like that scene from Terminator 3 that Taylor's never seen Or it's actually Terminator 4 salvation And it's like worse. This is the reality like like this is the the world we live in where a drone is Chasing down a man on a motorcycle and blowing him up and the guy that is controlling it is Probably 25 miles away or something in a bunker like god, God, that's such a crazy version of war.

I didn't think that that was the, like when I was a kid, there was a bunch of future tech that we thought might happen. The flying cars have always been a big one or just an alternative fuel, like a car that burned water, all sorts of stuff like that and sorts of luxuries that we thought would be for everyone,

maybe even space travel. But it turned out it was the death drones. That was the one that we financed the most. Yeah, so we got the death drones. Every expert says I'm wrong, but I worry about our Navy based on what we've learned in the Ukraine war. Russia lost like a third of its Black Sea fleet

to a country with no Navy. They're bad at their job. Every time they talk about that they're like look at these failures their systems were either off or not working and I like their early detection stuff that one boat that they sank with those Neptune missiles or something like that yeah yeah first one they Ukrainian made missile yeah that it was Russia's flagship. I think that boats job was doing that like like it's like what is what are you? What are you good at? Oh, we shoot cannons. What are you good at? We launch aircraft. What are you good at? Just defense. We're really good at shooting stuff down that might come at us and but like

the stuff was either not working or It wasn't being manned because they sank that fucking thing their neighbor or a new boat. It was the flag boat in the entire Russian Navy. And to be fair, I think they have two of the same thing and they lost. They that's bad. If you only have two. Well, they say so many Russian boats that the Russians aren't occupying

the sea with their boats anymore. They they've got them parked. I don't know what it's called geographically, but I could point to it on a map, I don't know, in Russian territory in the Crimea. Northeast of where they used to be. Yeah, they can't go over there, they get hit with those missiles or those fucking ski-doos that the Ukrainians invented. Ukrainians have stealth jet skis that are unmanned and you can imagine a jet ski that's made not to be ridden but just to be operated.

It can be really low to the water and painted black and stealthed out and quietened down and it just zooms out to sea with a full of explosives. You can put a ton of explosives on a jet ski. The thing that's in my mind is like just, they're blowing up multi-billion dollar boats with $15,000 jet skis. And I'm like, are we so different? Now let's, let's assume America's a little harder to hit. All right.

Now we're going to $22,000 jet skis. Like it's, it's still a asymmetrical thing. All it takes is one jet ski slipping past the goalie and it's. That's true, it might be. Big hole in the boat if it doesn't matter. Is that still one hole? No, I don't know. I'm imagining that the US aircraft carriers

are almost unsinkable from just a blowing holes on the side kind of point of view. Well, knock on wood, you know, I mean it's happened before, but the but the boats have been unsinkable before as well. That's true. That's one of those claims you shouldn't make. I bet that's bad luck in the sea. If you look at World War II, like that, we refurbished those boats, those aircraft

carriers would go out, get completely shit on. We drag them back to shore limping and patch them up and send them back to war faster than the Japanese thought was possible. The Japanese would be counting our aircraft here and be like, all right, that's three down. No, that was one down. They fixed the other two in three months. I think that the aircraft carrier groups are composed of just system after system of redundancy to detect and eliminate any threat Whereas the Russians just had that boat out there in the water You know if you see one out we've got our aircraft carrier group driving together I don't know exactly what it's composed of but it's like 25 different boats who all are doing different jobs

And there's airplanes in the air all the time around them scanning the horizon and then there's satellites in the in space around them scanning the horizon. And then there's satellites in space, looking down, analyzing all that. And then there's underwater drones that look like manta rays that we have now that are stealth underwater drones. And there's the entire US submarine fleet and anti-submarine fleet.

You know, there's those hunter killer subs we have that do nothing but hang out under the ice cap, stalking the Russians. And I just, I'm- What are you talking about the aircraft carrier? What about one of the other ones? out under the ice cap stalking the Russians. And I just, I think people have it together. What are you talking about the aircraft carrier? What about one of the other ones? Like they're all billions I think.

I don't think they're all billions, but they're all really expensive. I hear you both, you know, but I just imagined that if we're in a war against the people with jet skis, like while they're launching their one jet ski, we probably just destroyed their whole homeland, right? Like their president's probably in a- That's how Afghanistan went though. We just spent so much and they operated so cheaply. Eventually we were like,

fuck it. I think we all right. I would know better than me. What's that? What's going on? He mentioned Afghanistan. Go ahead, please. Oh, well, I mean, I like, I don't, I don't, I don't know anything that Afghanistan is going fucking do to like take out our take out our Navy but like in terms of like Russia or China or something like that I think that would probably be a bit of a different war than with Ukraine because like like the Ukrainian war was basically like World War one part two to my understanding. I'm not like an expert on it, but I know like a tiny bit about it I feel I feel like

Like the jet ski things. Yeah, those those are a little nerve-racking But I feel like we would probably see what's going on and be like, oh, let's fix that before it before it becomes a problem And then other than that, I don't think we're just gonna be parking our shit like off the coast of an unsecured area. You know, yeah, we'd hopefully do our due diligence. And I've seen the list Kyle's talking about where it's like for every one carrier, there's eight destroyers. And for every one carrier and eight destroyers, there's 15, whatever the next boat down is called. And it's like little orbits, it seems like, where it's like, all right, you guys cover this boat. And then you littler boats cover the boats covering the big boat. And then the subs cover the little boats covering the bigger boats, covering the biggest.

And it's like, it would be a nightmare to try and attack that giant boat. But it's not even the goal, right? The goal is to make us to not want to fight anymore. Yeah. And my point was focused on the idea that it's so much cheaper to break things than to make things. I worry, where are the people with the big balloons that get popped?

And they're the people with the needles. And it's like, fuck, you know how hard it is to make balloons. The people with the needles have their own balloons though. The thing with Afghanistan and some ragtag group of villagers like that is they don't have big balloons to pop They can just disappear into the mountains and they're but and even if you kill them all they're probably part of some goddamn tribe. That's Across the mountain range. There's going to be another group of people that hate you because you killed their cousins or some shit but if you're dealing with a near pier like china or russia

And they're attacking our aircraft carriers, then we're at war. So I would imagine we're just destroying their homeland, right? Like that part of the world is the first thing we go for. Oh, I can't wait till we destroy the three gorgeous dam and 500 million Chinese drown. That's why there's not going to be a war between us and China, because they fucking like have an anvil above 500 million people's heads that we can destroy whenever we want. That's unreal to just have a damn that could kill like what was the actual number like a hundred million people? No it's I think it well now I'm not sure but I thought it's not like it would wash 100 million people away but like it

would destroy like water reserves and all sorts of things now down there. Right. There are so many people in the in the flow of three gorgeous dam and the day above it. I Googled it. This is Google AI. So take that for what you will. 360 million. That's bigger than America. Yes. One under one damn. That's bigger than America. Under one dam. That seems like an oversight. They need to get on that. Sean O'Toole-Tryter They said Taiwan has enough missiles on their own to pop that dam. If they launched all of their fast missiles at it, they could destroy that dam. That's why there's not going to be a war with China like that. Not that World War III, when it all stakes, just short of nuclear kind of war. That ain't going to happen because they've got an anvil above their head. Like that would end the war right there.

You kill 350 million of their people. Can you imagine the disease that would come after? Like the devastation? Like it would be a whole, it would ruin their, it would ruin the biggest country in the world. It's the world's largest power station by installed capacity. It changed the rotation of the earth. Get this 95 plus minus 20 TWH per year of electricity. Try and wrap your mind around that.

That's terawatt hours. Of course it is. I mean I work in petawatt hours. Don't bother. Now it's so big it altered the rotation of the earth. It's holding back. They should be able to do that unilaterally. We should get It's holding back. They should be able to do that unilaterally. We should get we should be able to weigh in on the missiles. Now. Yeah, I like how the earth was turning China. Change it. Change it back. We have to have leap years because you guys have a fucking.

And China's not the enemy anyway. Canada is. OK. Yes. All I can is I heard they went after us. What did you know? They let in 17 pounds of fentanyl last year. I was just about to say they let in another grab a fentanyl. 17 pounds. We're not going to stand for that. I don't care.

I don't get you know what? They may need to be annexed over that humiliated us in the hockey game, which I don't care about. Dude, have you been following the Gretzky hate? No, I would think y'all don't know about. Okay, Woody knows. following the Gretzky hate? No, why would they? You don't know about that? Y'all don't know about that? Okay, Woody knows.

So, Wayne Gretzky is MAGA for life. He was rocking the hat at a Trump event. Oh, all right. And the fans have like flipped the table. Like, of course all the Canadian fans, but I see people throwing away his merch. Like I see people like ripping on him. Outside by the curb with all the trash.

His wife's been defending him online. And so the meme is him hiding behind his wife wearing a MAGA hat. They're being mean to the great one. Oh, I'm so glad you said that because his new nickname is the great ones. Like previous nicknames. Oh, dude, there is no greater sports scope

than trying to pretend Wayne Gretzky isn't the, there's no athlete in any singular sport who was more dominant than Wayne Gretzky was. None. How many chips does he have? Didn't he win four in a row with Edmundon? I'm not, I'm not fighting you. I'm just,

No, no, no. I was just, I'm trying to think, I think four or five. No, no, no. I was just trying to think. I think four or five. Anyway, he is getting a shitload of hate. And it's not like MAGA cares about Wayne Gretzky anyway. So nobody's coming to his defense. He's in a real tight spot. Well, I care about Wayne. I didn't know Wayne was under assault. And this is a terrible time for him because he's about to lose his goal record.

Ovechkin. Ten more goals. You should tweet him some support. Tweet him a little support. Tweet him some support. Canada, you guys are probably young to absorb the 9-11 like culture change, but the way that everyone started flying flags, everyone was on the same team. You know, fucking computer nerds like me were like, I wish I could get into a ring with a bomb Osama. I fucked it up. Like, like everyone was like united and on the same team and so patriotic. You know, the country song star, everyone's a country fan. Now, now we're all country fans and Canada has that going on currently. Well, they're booing their greatest hero, Wayne Gretzky.

They truly are in the dark place. I say we take our army, we go up there and we beat the hell out of them and their president. What was his name again? Hardly Morinstein? We're going to take him out. We're going to force him to become American. Just like Wayne Gretzky has been American for as long as he's been Canadian, probably almost. Right? He lives here now. Where does he live full-time? He might live in St. Louis full-time. I mean, he's going to want to come down to the US of A if he's not already after all this. No, I see them pulling American products off the shelves and it's just like, I think it's a war they're going to lose.

The one thing about Trump, and maybe it's unintentional, I don't think everything's 3D chess for sure, but man, he has galvanized the right people. Like the people that we wish. You wish that you could go to Europe and say, hey, we all need to work together. You all got to chip in so that we're strong enough to fight against evil. And they they would but they won't So what Trump did and I'm not saying he meant for this to happen But what Trump did was he said I'm not gonna defend you if you can't pay your your 2% If look you don't pay your 2%

You're negligent on your payments. We're not gonna come to your defense He said it today he went on and on about today about how he's not gonna defend people who don't pay into NATO correctly and And what are they doing? They're getting their shit together They're made the France is talking about offering its nuclear umbrella to Europe like like they're talking about pulling together and defending themselves That's good, which is exactly what we want and and we may have gotten about it in a left-handed Disgraceful way, but we got there nonetheless But I don't know. I hope it's a left-handed disgraceful way, but we got there nonetheless. But I hope it's a good thing.

Like now that Europe's protecting themselves, are they America's ally like they used to be, or are they this other entity like Bricks or Warsaw Packer, I don't know. I'm just not sure. No, I think they're still our boys. Well, Trump said that today. He's like, we're in trouble.

Do you think France is coming to save the day? Do you really? Do you think France is coming? If we call, we need help. You think they're coming? I don't know. I don't know about that one. And I kind of feel the same way. From what? I don't want to be an invasion.

From anything. He just said it like the way I said it was like, if we needed help, do you think they're coming? Do you? I don't know. People came when we needed help. We need help in Iraq, but we attacked Iraq for no fucking reason, right? Like weapons of mass destruction is every bit as believable

as Canada's fentanyl. Like that was always horse shit. They tried to kill his dad. Sure. And we're like, all right, we're going in there because we're worried that the next thing is going to be a mushroom cloud. With some metal tubes. In New York City. Yeah. Whether it was a metal tube or something,

some yellow cake, yellow cake uranium. So, um, uh, so we went, and I think Canada came, I know England came like we had a coalition, at least the coalition of the willing, the axis of evil was on the run. It was great. It was like a hundred nations. And then he wanted to tout how many people had shipped in to sort of defend the war from the anti-war people. And he was like, oh, there's over 45 nations. And he'd name like Great Britain and Australia and Canada and Montenegro.

Singapore is more of a city state. I believe there's one gentleman from Bolivia. And I have to be very careful with this one. Negra, Neg, Nagier, Nagier? You know which one I'm talking about. The best, uh, like spin on that joke is the South Park one. Did you ever see when they did, uh, they do Mr. Garrison as Trump in the white house and, uh, and, and he drops a hard R that as, as, uh, as president Trump, he's like, says sand yeah and hits the hard r and uh and then sir for the last

time it's nigeria is like no i know what it was he hit the hard r and and it's like that those n words and he's like sir it's nigeria nigeria and then like in the next scene he's like a bunch of sand Nigerian. So be careful with that one. But he tried to pretend like there was this huge coalition and it was really just that core group of people. So yeah, they come when it's time to bully somebody. But like it's easy to get your boys together to bully somebody. Right? How are you boys together when we're about to go probably take an ass whoopin'? I remember in high school when that would be the case

and it's the exact same shit. It's that like everybody's down to fight until the fight looks like it might not go our way and then they slink into the darkness and you're left to get your ass whooped kind of thing. That's what Tom Cruise says in Jack Reacher. It's five v one. He's like, no, it's three v one.

You're the ringleader. You maybe have two enthusiastic wingmen and then the rest run away. I do this all the time. That's how it always goes in every fight I've ever seen in a school or in the street or whatever. It was always like, there's a couple guys there that are down. They're like to fight guys as Jim Rome says I went to school this guy named Andrew He loved to fight you'd see we called him smiley because he'd get this gran on his face this devious little gran It's like dude. I think he's about to slam somebody like he would just attack people like he liked to get big fights And he beat people up. He enjoyed it. He loved it and and you just knew like you had I keep fish. That guy likes to aggravated assault people at recess. I saw him aggravated assault many a person. He burnt a kid one day.

He heated a shovel handle up in the fire till it was aluminum. Doesn't get red hot. It just stays aluminum looking. And then he handed it to him handle first and it was so hot And you know how your reaction time is you let it go but yeah If you're not expecting it at all, you're not expecting it all and you're you know, you you grab the thing It burnt the fucking kids hand all up. He had to go to the hospital What an asshole oh

What an asshole. Oh, he was an aluminum like shovel. It was a, it was a shovel that had, it used to have a wooden handle that had rotted or broken and they had taken an aluminum pole or pipe and they had used that as a handle they because we're a metal and yeah, it's kind of a makeshift. It was a real shovel, but it had an aluminum pipe as a handle and he heated that aluminum up in the, in the barrel fire outside until it was god knows how hot He held it in there longer than he had to I was there I watched him do it He did it up till it was scalding hot and handed it to that poor fucking kid and burnt the shit out of him

But he didn't alert the kid You didn't go don't grab it. You didn't you didn't want to get burned I had my own issues with this kid me and him had had had all kind of problems the kid? You didn't go don't grab it? You didn't want to get burned? I had my own issues with this kid. Me and him had had all kind of problems. That was on Team Fire. I was on Team. I don't want to be the next person to get burned. No, you were like that American soldier and saving Private Ryan who was cowering on the stairs. I went. You wouldn't save that guy's hand.

Yeah. Yeah. I was pop them or whatever his name is. What was it? Oh man. Um, he was awful though. I remember I made fun of his mom one time and it got back to him and, and it was a problem because I went to his birthday party and uh, his mom was a big woman. She was a big old girl and she made his birthday cake and it was a normal round birthday She was a big old girl. And she made his birthday cake. And it was a normal round birthday cake, like couple layers or whatever. And we all shared it. And I noticed she made a second cake for herself.

And it was a giant sheet cake. Because she doesn't care if it's pretty or not. She's here for quantity. That's a pleasure cake. And we were in the living room watching movies, you know, like a, like a, I'm staying over. It's like me and two other guys and Smiley, and we're watching movies and his mom kept getting up

and coming back for more of that cake. She just kept coming back. And I was counting the trips and counting the slices, not even paying attention to the stupid fucking movie. It's all I cared about. I was eating four slices. Five slices. She ate half a sheet cake that night and then I told people at school that his mom ate half a sheet cake and that she made her own cake. You tattled that she had half a sheet cake? I told

everybody she housed half a sheet cake while we sat there and watched movies and then he was out for me for a while. It was a real problem. He was a big guy. He was a big guy. Big guy. He was a real big guy. Yeah. And he liked to burn people. That's not a guy that I would make fun of his mom. So in that way it worked. I would have been really nice to Smiley,

not in a friend way, but in a let's keep the peace way. It's not a guy I should make fun of his mom, but teenage what he was stupid to. I could have been in Kyle's shoes. Yeah. You could have been burned up by that one guy. Well, he didn't get burned up. That's a shame. What am I doing now? Hope he's okay. Big shout out to smiley. I hope you're doing well. Hope your fat mom's alive.

Yeah. And that got anything you want to promote. Yeah. Scott, where can everyone you're streaming regularly. Where can everyone find your stream and your other content? Yeah, Scott Sullivan MMA on YouTube. I'm on Twitter as well. Sullivan underscore MMA, Instagram, Scott Sullivan MMA. Cool, cool.

Check them out. Watch the streams. They're good. BKA 742. Fire!