Painkiller Already - PKA 743 W/ Josh Wolf: Becoming A Cheese Wizard

Episode Date: March 15, 2025

PKA 743, our guest will be joining us about 30 minutes in his name's in the title. It's not because I don't know it. Taylor. Josh Wolf is joining us 30 minutes in. Like what he said, he knew that totally. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix, Lock and Load, and our wonderful merchandise. Kyle, you had some stuff you wanted to chit chat about, really important stuff, stuff that we went to the bottom of.

I wasn't going to buy a car, but I saw a great car commercial this weekend. I'm going to head on down to the White House, Tesla dealership and pick myself up a Model 3, I think. I mean, it's it's good for the whole family. And I believe it starts at just under thirty five thousand dollars. And according to the president of the United States, all computers on the inside. Can you bring up the notes, Zach, that Trump used to talk about the cars as he was doing

his pitch? Like, I guess the reporters got a really good view of it. I've been seeing a meme for people saying like everything is computer. Is that what the Trump got? Trump sat into a Tesla for what was clear the first time in his life. And he said, it's all computers on the inside. Yeah. To be honest, that same thing happened to me in 2018. After driving my 15 year old Tacoma, I was like, what the hell?

Everyone's got screens. The back of cameras. If you've never been in a Tesla, it has a very large. Where are you getting 35 grand on that price list? part I At the bottom that Tesla can be purchased as low as 299 a month or 35 thousand dollars See I read the whole thing would he I guess I did it. I stopped above his thumb Mmm, let's take a look up. Look at those big powerful hands. God damn and well manicured

I appreciate that in a man you You come around with jagged nails I know you don't get pussy. You appreciate a well manicured male hand. You see a man with jagged nails, you know, he doesn't get pussy Or he's just really bad at it. Just really upsetting those women. Yeah, I mean that could be too that there's just a line of Women walking with limps. What about a guy who bites his nails so low that they're like Elijah Wood in Lord of the Rings? That's almost like the apex predator. You can't even feel a nail if you wanted to. He could turn a woman, a lesbian, he could turn a lesbian with those non-nails that he had. They're just gone. Almost like you ever see when runners have their toenails surgically removed? You're making that. I've never heard of that. Y'all don't know this stuff.

Come on. Yeah. Runners have their toes surgically removed because toenails. Yeah. Oh, did I say toes? My bad toenails. I thought we were talking about toenails. I slipped the tongue.

They have the toenails removed, especially long distance runners, like extreme marathoners because something about doing all that running makes your fucking toenails fall off. I was so sure you were lying to me. But this is a real thing. Really running makes your fucking toenails fall off. I was so sure you were you were lying to me This is a real thing really nobody has been moving their toenails. What do you actually think of Trump? pitching his Elon his his biggest donators companies cars on the White House lawn what I actually think about it And here's what I think is going on, is in private, Elon's saying,

my God, I'm here trying to do great things for the American people and try to save them money, try to cut this waste and try to do something for the benefit of all of America for free. And I'm the richest man in the world. And man, my stocks, tanking, people are shitting on my cars. And I'm sure he's like shares this with Trump and Trump was like hey why don't we shoot you a little commercial out on the front lawn I'd love to I'd love to hock something it's been a been a coon's age since I've sold any playing cards or sneakers or anything hell I haven't sold a Trump steak in a decade or more so let's let's do a car commercial uh I've done one of those before. And they're

like, Oh, you do that for me, Mr. President. That'd be amazing if you do a car commercial. Could I bring all my models? How many do you have? Well, four or five, depending. Yeah. All right, let's do it. That's how it went. I don't think there was any like fuckery going on or any like evil. I think Elon Musk is financially like in a rough spot because of what he's doing. Trump recognizes that he's like, I can help a little. So I do full on commercial Woody. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. He, he, they put about four or five Teslas on the white house yard. And then Trump went from car to car saying how much he likes each one of them

and how wonderful each one of them were with the notes that you saw on this made of steel and how wonderful each one of them were with the notes that you saw on this screen earlier. It's made of steel and it's heavy. No, that's pretty cringy. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's illegal, but no one seems to be enforcing that law. He did it his first term as well. And I don't think it helps Tesla.

I think that Tesla is in trouble because it's associated with MAGA already and it just got linked even tighter. Like if you sell freaking yamakas, you don't want Hitler's endorsement and that's Elon's situation. So good Hitler will buy them the best yamakas you've ever imagined. It is a good yamaka. I admit it's amazing. Croft.

That'd be the best commercial ever. That's the commercial you would make though. Like, like. No, it's not. On board with that. I would not make, I would not try to get Hitler to tell the Jews that this is what you should buy. No, I didn't personally have a real Hitler.

He's dead. Fake Hitler. Fake Hitler. Bad. A bad impact on your sales on the i don't love what about ism but joe biden was driving around and afford uh lightning saying man this sucker is fast for the tv cameras just so joe biden for like it was like ev day or something like that invited a handful of car customer companies american car car companies, at least three of which,

provided EVs and he was like, the world should be moving to electronic vehicles. So he didn't endorse Teslas and only Teslas. It's, I feel like the comparison there isn't a good one. And anytime you try to explain nuance, you're losing. Like I get that. You know, Joe sold EVs from a bunch of different American companies.

Trump said, get a Tesla. I saw him in a Ford. Did so Tesla didn't get invited to Biden's electric car thing? No, that's why Biden turned. That's why that was the beginning of Musk turning on Biden and the Democrats. Not so much the trans thing. He wasn't invited to the

EV summit. It was a huge error. Since then, it's been, that's when he started shifting and saying, this is like a, this is a while back, obviously, but that's when he started tweeting stuff about, there's good people on both sides, you know, Republican, Democrat, because he'd been so left leaning. Yeah. I remember that well, them snubbing him and not inviting him to that thing. What was the rationale for it? Because he was, there still is the biggest guy.

Like there's no other, is there an electric car company bigger than Tesla or no? Well, the rationale was that they were supporting car companies that support union labor and Tesla doesn't hire any unions. So he didn't promote non-union auto manufacturers. So they might hate it, but that is the rationale. But it's an EV summit.

So either call. Oh, I get it. I think it was a mistake too. But Taylor asked what the rationale was. No, I feel you. In the meantime though, I feel like Tesla's in so much trouble. Like they need some,

they're gonna need some assistance. Didn't they lose like half their stock value in the last few months or something crazy like that Like near that they're back down to the levels. They were at like four and a half years ago The last four and a half years of looking at you wiped out She's Tesla's yeah, because I I I expect the market there to fall out because look, I don't know if you go on reddit But there are people vandalizing Random Tesla a bunch of that like just clips on Twitter. What a fucking psycho It'll be like sell your car and I've seen people put a Mazda badge on there

That's my favorite and you know what I think I saw a And you know what? I think I saw an Audi badge. And to be honest, I think there's a subreddit devoted to people like miss badging their Tesla so that they can like on the down low not be identified as a Tesla driver. And it works. Teslas look just like everything else.

There is nothing remarkable to look at, like at a Tesla to me. I looked at a brand new Camry. It is more stylish than a Tesla. Actually, I looked at a brand new Camry, it is more stylish than a Tesla. Actually, I might go along with that. What we saw the other day, those Fiskars, those look sexy to me. The Maserati Quattroporte,

I saw a Quattroporte in traffic yesterday, a white one. I was like, what is that? What is that? And then it took off and went, brrrrrah! And I was like, is that a, and I followed him for a while, and it was exactly that. I'm so into that car. I've been looking at

2012 Maserati quattro forts That apparently that's what everyone wants is the 2012 one something about the suspension or whatever, but they're like ten thousand dollars They're these 450 horsepower supercharged Ford or Maserati's That probably you're gonna need ten,000 for the maintenance immediately. But I kind of want one. I've been looking at them that and a used Tesla like like would really hit the spot that would you get one of those Model S plaids for like $45,000.

I hate that name. I don't care about the name. I'm more into the performance. You do get the the reference from Spaceballs, Taylor, maybe? I've seen Spaceballs. I was thinking Plaid, like the kind of clothes, like the color on, pattern on. Yeah, yeah, for some reason, maybe Kyle remembers. He's so good with movie lines. Never seen Spaceballs?

It's not great. Anyway, he's like, you know, there's fast impulse speed, warp speed, ludicrous speed, and then I think plaid was the highest of all speeds. And then like, as like you saw, you know, first you see the stars coming at you, kind of like driving in the snow, and then it turns plaid.

Okay, I remember. Okay, that was a good joke from that movie. I remember that now. Yeah. Does that movie hold up? Like, what do you seem to look at it with reverence? Kyle's never seen a blown away Kyle hasn't seen Space Falls culture yourself a little bit. Yeah, Jesus Kyle watch a movie I know the entire deal I can name you like actor Tim Russ is the black guy who's digging in the sand and goes

We ain't found shit cuz there's no way to verify that yeah, Tim Russ To Vox he's still alive. I miss him. I miss him every day. My wife is a giant fan of that movie. I think in her family it holds a special spot, so therefore I'm in that orbit. I saw it as a kid and I still remember

that redhead brother of, who's the redhead director who has the ugly brother? Mel Brooks. No, Mel Brooks is the Jewish. Oh, played. This guy's not Jewish. He's read late in happy days. Ron Howard. Ron Howard.

Yes. His brother was like Clint Howard. Clint Howard. Like it took me. I was taken aback as a kid when I saw him on screen at Spaceballs. I was like, is there something wrong with them? Is that the ugliest man on it? Cause it turns around. He has those snaggle teeth.

Modern picture of Ron Howard. So we know how generous that redheaded director is as a description. Yes. Ron Howard. Picture of Ron Howard. I find Clint Howard or maybe Ron Howard's also ugly, but not compared to Clint. You just don't like referring to Ron Howard as the redheaded director anymore? You think he's lost that street cred?

That uh... I think so. That wouldn't be how you'd refer to him anymore. He just like, oh the redhead, yeah. That's Opie right there. And it kind of makes me a little sad that people don't know who Opie is. Pull up Clint Howard. I'm sure there's people listening to this and they don't know who Opie is.

This guy's the most attractive man on earth compared to what you're about to see. Pull up Clint Howard from Spaceballs. He's got fucked up teeth. He's ugly. He wasn't funny. Oh my. He did you right with the picture he found. The guy doesn't look great, but this is especially rough.

I feel bad for him. He's like a beach bump. That's what he looks like. He's been a lot of great movies, you know, a good actor, unfortunate looking for sure. Oh, I was having fun. Get that away. Yeah, get him out of here. What the fuck?

I saw like maybe the funnest conspiracy I've seen in forever. And it was that Alex Jones is Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks was a famous comedian in the 80s. And I had this video suggested to me, and it showed like these these overlaid faces faces how they have the like the exact same teeth seemingly their eyes you know are the same everything looks the same and then like some of the evidence some of the the evidence was hilarious where it would be like uh uh like alex jones emerged onto the scene out of nowhere in the mid 90s shortly after Bill Hicks died. And I was like, all right, where's the evidence part? And then he moved on to the next thing. Because we're not getting any of that. I think he does look a lot like it. Let me find it.

It probably would have came out in the trial if he weren't actually Alex Jones. He'd have been like, came out in the trial if he weren't actually Alex Jones. He'd have been like, you're looking for Alex Jones, I'm Bill Hicks. He didn't use that as a defense. And then another one was like, Alex Jones claims to be, how old is he? Looks about 50. They say Alex Jones claims to be 51 years old.

Does this look like a 51 year old man to you? Or more like a 63 year old man? Because we all know that Bill Hicks was 12 years older than Alex Jones stage name claims. And it was just like roasting Alex Jones pictures from like 2004 being like, look at this big bloated oaf. This guy's not 35. He's 47. Just going in on him for being on the, his teeth do look the same, but I could have been fooled by Photoshop. And I like this conspiracy a lot because the stakes, there's just no stakes. Like what are, like, and apparently Alex Jones has responded to it on multiple times being

like, and you know, I am Bill Hicks, so moving forward. And it's like, all right, well, that's probably just a tongue in cheek joke. But yeah, that would be the coolest thing to find out that Alex Jones has been Bill Hicks the whole time. I have a similar conspiracy theory that I think might be true. Have you heard Billy Corgan is Bill Burr's brother? Who's Billy Corgan?

Okay, so Billy Corgan is the lead singer, I think, definitely guitarist in the band Smashing Pumpkins. Maybe you've heard of that. Yeah. Okay, so now he's older and not as culturally relevant as he used to be. He used to be one of the top bands in the world. And his father told him,

you know, you've got a famous brother. He'd heard this for a while. And Billy Corgan's like, who, who, who? And he's like, like, you know, you've got a famous brother. And he'd heard this for a while. And Billy Corgan's like, who, who, who? And he's like, I don't know. Eventually, he lets it drop. Your brother is Bill Burr. And he starts like adding it up and stuff. And it's like, yeah, I think it's possible.

And they look similar. And anyway, so he tells this story online. Now, I think it was on the Joe Rogan show. I'm not positive about that, though, that he tells this story online. I think it was on the Joe Rogan's show. I'm not positive about that though, that he might be Bill Burr's brother. And Bill Burr gets mad. He doesn't want Billy Corgan telling the story.

Bill Burr doesn't say this isn't true or this doesn't add up. He's like, shut the fuck up. Why are you talking about this in public? Why keep it a secret? So Howie Mandel has a podcast and he's like, Hey, hey, I'm having Bill Burr on to Billy Corgan. Would you talk about this with Bill Burr?

And Corgan's like, only if it's cool with Bill Burr. I don't want to like, I don't want to step on any toes. I'm not here to create enemies or anything like that. Is, does Bill Burr want to talk about this? And Howie Mandel says, absolutely. He wants to be, he wants the two of you to sort of talk this over and put it together. So they go on Howie Mandel's podcast and Burr is fucking pissed. He's silent.

He's barely participating in the conversation. And Corgan is like, I didn't mean this to happen. Like I'm, I'm sorry. And Burr is like, What the fuck? Seriously? You're ambushing me? And Billy Corgan is like, I'm ambushed too. And it took Burr a minute to come around and realize that Corgan was telling the truth. And Howie Mandel set those two up Destiny Dick Masterson style. Having no idea that they were like about to meet on this podcast. And Bill Burr sound like a douche. Well, he came around.

We don't know the background. Yeah, so Bill Burr is like, okay, okay, listen, I'm sorry. I can see now that you weren't part of this, right? Cause Billy Corgan asked for permission. Howie Mandel,el staged the ambush. And he just like, I just don't like talking about this in public. I don't, I don't know why, like my parents need to be part of the public conversation. And he's like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I didn't know that it was going to go like this. And that's where it sort of wraps. And I'm like, fuck their step step brother.

No half brothers. I'm not really up to bring that picture up again. Dude, Adam and Jamie would have looked at that picture for one second and been like busted their brothers like immediately. Like they're very plausible. Look at them. Right. It's plausible. You know, look, I would be looking for. I don't know. I'll be looking at the ears to see if they connect. I think that's a thing where like, look, I would be looking for, I don't know, I'd be looking

at the ears to see if they connect. I think that's a thing where like, Oh, at the bottom? Yeah, yeah, like stuff like that. To me, like, to me, like the shape of your nose is a really distinctive thing. There's like, there's like eight or eight different notes. That's so funny. You're like, you're like, to me, when I'm looking at a face the nose is essential Related or just similar looking you know what I mean are you are you a free-hanging earlobe king or are you an attached?

Yeah, I'm not attached Question which ones which Because Bill Burr still has a little bit of red there and that gives it away for now. They should have to do each other's job. That would be fun. I hear Kyle saying, like looking for like particular features that match, but I would argue my brother and I don't look any more alike than they do.

And we have two parents in common. Or do you? Pretty sure. But you're probably like same height, similar hair color, like that, like the big, maybe not as close. Yeah, hair color is about the same. He's bigger than me. He's been stronger than me throughout most of my life,

all my life. And yeah, I don't know. But like some people say we don't look like brothers, but we're definitely brothers. And anyway, those two look like brothers to me. I think it is. I think we've lost the memory. That's fascinating to me when you have people who,

for example, you'll have someone raised by their grandparents and they don't know it. Maybe their mother had them when they were far too young or there was a weird circumstance and sometimes it's rape even, but you end up with like someone going through their whole lives thinking that their mom, their aunt is their mom or their grandma is their mom or something like that.

Aunt being the mom is one I've heard a lot. And they would still be in the same family. So they think their aunt, the person that they think is their aunt is their mom and the person they think is their mom is their aunt. And it's this weird, what the fuck have y'all been doing to me my whole life? Yeah, some really famous guy had that happen. Or like fucking Ben Franklin or something thought that his mom was his sister his whole life. And then like, just one day they're like, guess what?

Your world's about to get turned upside down. That's your mom. It's like, at this point, don't even tell me. Don't even fill me in on that after I'm like an adult. Would you wanna know? Like right now, if there was something like that, would you want to know? Uh, you adopted or you were only a half sibling in the family or, or something, or, or maybe

you were from a generation above or below your brothers for some inexplicable reason. Yeah, I guess. Maybe your grandparents, what if, what if your grandparents are your real parents and they had you far too late and they're like, we just can't be bothered. Would you take another one honey? And that would be wild. My grandma would have been like 48. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would be that. Ooh, that's a fun little hypothetical. I like that. Now I think my parents are my parents though. I look just like them. Yeah. Are you more of a mom's boy

or take after your father? Dad, I look more like him for sure. Like when I use one of those aging apps on me, I'm like, hey dad. I'm like, dad, look at this. He's like, oh, it's me. I'm like, no, it's me. Dude, when the fans like send me pictures of myself in those

fattening and aging apps i'm just phil margera you really are oh my god now now hang on i'm already old i look in the mirror and i feel like like i have a an idea of what i look like and then i see me in the mirror and I'm like you look more like dad than you. Like I don't look like my mental image. I'm pretty spiffy. That's gotta be so weird. Like when did, I guess what age did it really start jumping out at you? I'm sure it's within the last five years maybe. So call that 47. It's so weird. Like I'm still at the point at 33 where I'm like someday I'll be like I'll grow into a real adult. Like my thinking won't be so juvenile and silly

and ridiculous. And because as a kid I had that idea of like that's an adult. That guy's not frittering away time you know doing anything other than work and taxes and mowing the lawn. And then now it's realizing like, oh, that guy probably wanted to do a ton of other stuff with his life. And he just wasn't in the circumstances. That guy was probably like, huffing airplane glue in his office and wearing women's stockings. Like, you know, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, just a cool guy.

Mm hmm. Kind of guy who plays by his own rules. Yeah. Huffing airplane glue. He does what he wants. Yeah. Like a big boy. You ever huffed airplane glue? No, I've never been around. I've never had the opportunity, I'll say.

I've never been around airplane glue. That's what I'm saying. Everyone talks about airplane glue. Like we had a steady supply. We didn't put models together in my house. Certainly not with glue. Is it just CA glue? I think that's the big one I always hear about,

but you can huff anything. Yeah, you know, anything that's... You can huff have anything just about I spent I spray paint is though is the funniest one of course because you end up It's spray paint all over yourself and and you're just in a parking lot shamelessly passed out in a Buick with Sparkle glitter paint all over your face It looks like you just ate out a glitter pussy and they're like, what have you been doing? Ah, I just, I was just a little tuckered out.

Thought I'd take a nap. It's just blue everywhere. Really? They have like whatever color was on sale, like mauve. Just all over their mouth. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. Oh my God.

He looks like he ate a gold woman's asshole. Like his whole face. And here's the thing, and I think it's caused by drug use. Look how the right side of his nose appears to be collapsed. Like you know what I mean? I can't tell how much of that is from his nose or his jaw. Is it glued together from the paint? Maybe his nostrils glued together like that. That guy's pissed, not because of the ramifications, but because he was taken away from his paint. Yeah, they took my paint. He just said the guy put his eyes in a lap.

I had three cams, I had three cams. This is just a prankster. This guy's just pranking. Can I just say, this might be a good look for this guy. That's kind of cool, and I bet it's not horribly toxic. He's just too good looking, that's pranking. That guy. Can I just say, this is, this might be a good look for this guy. That's kind of cool. And I bet it's not horribly toxic. He's just too good looking. That's not fair.

He'd look good without the paint too. It's like when a woman, you know, like fucking wears a wetsuit and a cowboy hat. Like, does this look good? Well, yeah, but it's not a good, you look good. This is the same guy. Yeah.

This is the same, no, from the first one. This is the same guy. From two pictures ago, yeah. Yeah, from two pictures ago. It's like a track. You don't recognize him in Woody He had paint on his face and this is a different quality photo. Go back to it. Cause I think Kyle will line up with us. Go back and I'll see it. You've only seen a version of his painting. Show me the gold mouth man again. Cause apparently it's also Alright. See. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I see. Well, it's

almost certainly him. Yeah. It's very strong. His nose. Mr. I look at the nose. I'm covered with paint and his nose is collapsed in this one again. Off to the side. He's frowning. So, so it's so altered under one of his nostrils. I think that's the fuck is this? Do, on a different topic, I tried to start my truck. Here's what happened. Kikikikiki. A little of both.

So last night, I'm taking a step back. My daughter has car trouble, right? She has some sort of transmission issues. So while that's in the shop, she's using my wife's car. Okay, boom. And I'm like, all right, well, if we're gonna do that, I need to make sure that my truck starts. It hasn't been driven in like two and a half months. I go outside, I press the button and it's like a row, a row, a row, row, row, and it starts.

And I'm like, ah, perfect. Nothing to worry about. And I was concerned. So this morning at the crack of dawn, my wife gets up for her dental appointment and she's like, it won't start. Throw clothes on, go outside, can't get it going. I eventually have to charge the battery. She misses her dental appointment. Now the truck is properly charged. I should have done it the first time.

But at least it's there. Yeah. So it kind of worked. So it'll be good two and a half How long did you drop me when you started it? How long did you drive it for like you had that first initial thing where it was like barely started? But then it did start after that. How long did you drive around? I let it idle for about 20 seconds went inside and declared success Yeah, that's what did it?

It's like I used its last start or being colder overnight. One of those two things made it not the same. I'm making this up, but I bet modern batteries have something where they're like, all right, but give them one little bit more. Just enough to go one more time. Put that over in this corner. Use that last little bit of magic it had. It was so close to starting without help this morning.

Like you could hear it, like almost make it. My battery cable came unhooked one time and the car won't do shit without the battery obviously. Like you can't unlock the doors, you can't do nothing. And the battery's in the trunk. So I'm sitting and you can't open the trunk without the battery. So I'm sitting there trying to figure out I'm gonna do in a parking lot.

I fold the seats down and I have to crawl all the way back there. But there's a mat covering the battery box and I got all my shit in my trunk. You know, there's like first-aid shit and there's old clothes and there's a pair of boots and shit. There's junk back there. So I'm having to like throw that over my shoulder finally crawl down in there and like I can't see it so I'm just blindly wiggling I know what it's gonna feel like and I and I finally hear click click click I'm a guy finger tight and I have to crawl all the way back through my fucking car to do it it was I was like somebody's gonna see me out here think I'm stealing this fucking car it was, that's the first time that's happened, I think.

I don't mean to be one up guy, but the battery cable comes loose on our ski boat for my paragliding club. And depending on who's like in charge of the boat, like if it's me, I'm like, that sounds like a loose battery. And I go back there and I jiggle it or tighten it or something like that. It's fixed for now.

If it's not like someone, you know, a little bit mechanically competent, they row the fucking boat back. We only have one or it's an 18 foot ski boat. Like, it's a lot to bring back to shore. Oh, yeah. And it takes a while, but it's we just laugh at them and fuss that our time is burning. I want to, I want you guys to also get the enjoyment. Are you going by dinner this summer to do that some more?

I expect to. Yeah, it should be. Zach, pull up this tier of evidence. I can't find the actual video that I, that I was listening to, but this tweet from 2017 seems to have a lot of the same graphics so Zach if you can or he's probably helping Josh out but you know do see these similar more than I expected yeah oh shucks there's matching freckles on the neck kind of get us zoomed in so we can analyze thank you this is now for shit. Now the hands one, how? Like just- How what?

I mean, how like- Okay, five fingers. How is this what you lead with is what I mean. Like it doesn't seem to be like, how could you even tell this far out if their hands were identical or if they're just two white guys with hands? They count the fingers up for you, Taylor.

That's true. Look, they both have a tooth gap, just like that. No, they don't. They're different teeth. Look at the bottom row instead of the top row. They're different. They both have a snaggle on the left of the bottom. No, but on the Alex Jones side,

that's near. That's weird. Look at the freckle style. Well then explain this. Checkmate. I don't believe any of this this is absurd Alex Jones's neck would have been in a completely different place if he wasn't fat like that first of all and like this blown out Zoomed in picture of Bill Hicks. What year is it? Check mate Kyle. Yeah They just drew squares and dots It ain't about checkmate, Kyle, you lost. Two versus one, moron.

They just drew squares and dots on a program picture. This is science. We looked at the data. Taylor knows about phrenology or phrenology. Yes, phrenology. I have a whole textbook on it so I know whose faces are trustworthy and which ones are duplicitous. Yeah, but I mean, of course it was a bad picture of what Alex Jones would be like. If I were to pull that book out and

find his face, it would be like this man is a is perfectly characteristic of a modern brute be wary in his presence. And they'd say like that kind of on target. Yeah. And then they just have all the other ones where they put like a big nose on someone and like a slope tip like that. Kind of on target. Yeah. And then they just have all the other ones where they put like a big nose on someone and like a slope to like a bad chin. And they're like, be wary of this man. He's out to trick you. Taylor, do you, this seems like something you might know.

Do you know what tiromancy is? Tiro-mancy? Tiro-mancy. I know what it is. It's a made up word. It's- They're all made up. Yeah, they're all made up. I don't know.

Tyromancy. Tyromancy is- What's the entomology of that? Greek. So Tyromancy is divination magic using cheese. It is prognostication of the future using cheese mold. Taylor. Ah. This is the end of you claiming cheese supremacy knowledge over Kyle.

Just because he Googled it two seconds, he had a- I wanted it to be in your wheelhouse. No, no. What sort of things are they defining? Like, ah, this is a Gruyere. I think they would look at like the patterns and stuff to tell the future of the person. It's like reading tea leaves, you know what I mean?

You've heard that, reading tea leaves. You drink the tea down to the bottom and some old lady looks at the pattern of the tea leaves in the bottom of the cup and she says you should have gotten tea bags, it's disgusting and then your future is poor. But with cheese, you're going to look at, I'm sure, like the mold patterns, perhaps, like- The way it coagulates according to the dictionary, is what they're looking at. The taste, maybe.

Coagulation. Maybe they do a little case. You know, Tyromantzer would never taste cheese. It is not food to him. That's like the kind of- It is a window into the future. Right, the genie's- That's literally the kind of job

that Homer Simpson would have. That'd be a genie keeping gravy in his lamp. Don't be a stir. When you're right, you're right actually. I guess that's fair. Yeah. So have there ever been any big predictions? Like was some guy like eating a poppice plate on, on nine nine 2001 being like, Oh my God, I've got to get it, I've got to tell someone. There was a noted French tiramancer who predicted the American Revolution and France's support of said revolution and the rise of the United States is a great power.

How big of a lead time? Via an aged Brie. Okay, I like that. How long did he was it? Were they already helping us, though? No, no, it hadn't been the help hadn't been secured yet. OK. All right. Well, this is definitely real.

A real story. I don't know. I don't trust tiromancy. I like my magic old fashioned like read, read the read a poem, read leaves of tea. Look at the stars. Like that's the classic magic. I'm not with you. I actually like the palm. Let me see what I see in there.

Let me get a little close. Let me see that palm. No, you're going to you'll be able to like tell my social. Oh, I'll probably I'll probably see how dry and crackly your hands are. My hands are not dry. They're a little calloused, but let me see your palm. You're like, thanks, Hitler. Oh, cancel him.

Can you imagine if I went up with one of these? The worst way to do it. Yeah, we'll get you the hat. That was the hat that was the problem. Josh, you missed it. I just got Taylor to show us his palm and called him Hitler. That's okay. Wow.

You fell for that one? Well, it's cause we were, it was tangential to the discussion. We were talking about, Kyle said that tiromancers are people who would divine the future using cheese. And I said, that's retarded. I want old fashioned palm reading tea leaf reading, like go by the stars, the planets like that's the sort of magic I want. And

then they tricked me into doing Hitler things. Hitler things sounds suspicious. Yes. Just one thing, Hitler thing. Suspicious. Yes. Multiple things, dude. Just one thing. Hitler thing. Can I tell you something that I, my son pointed out to me that I'm not super happy about Nazi by the way,

not my mustache is much thicker here. And he was like, dude, you need to either trim this or fill this because this part is real. I probably shouldn't be doing it like this, but. No, it's good. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, it's a little more chaplain-esque.

Could you just say chaplain? Yeah, as a Jew, I should probably lean chaplain further than people. And that's fine because like, we can't let Hitler steal facial hairstyles. That's totally out of bounds. Even Michael Jordan couldn't fully take it back, but he stuck with it for a bit.

It's not fair. Eventually we're gonna take back the little mustache. I don't think it would be a good look on me. I think my face is too fat. I'm glad he's got it because it's just not a good look. Let him have it. I don't think anyone looks good.

I don't think anyone can pull it off except for maybe him. And I'm Holland, Tom Holland. You put that little mustache on Tom Holland, but then day on his arm, you'd be like, come on, it's, it's back. Okay. Kyle, I would even say as long as it like, think a blonde like a blonde or a light brown could probably pull it off a little more Larry Bird style. Yes.

So it's not as prominent. Oh Larry Bird tried to mustache. That was disgusting. Larry Legend looked like a like like a not a successful trucker Like one of the other kind. Not one of those truckers that you brag about. Like, ah, Larry, he's a trucker. You don't even know. He's bringing all the bacon, cooking in the pan.

Like, not like that guy who's a winner. Larry looked like a loser truck driver. And it was the worst look I've ever seen for someone with that much fucking money. If you, Zach, if you pull up an old school picture of Larry Bird with that blonde shit stash. It's rough. Yeah. He doesn't look good.

I watch his highlights though, and I'm inspired as a white man. It's like, maybe they've been lying to me my whole life because this guy existed. He was early bird. You know who was athletic and early bird could dunk before he heard us back. Early bird, if you look at. Oh, we lost. We lost Josh. No, I'm back.

He's back. I don't know how that happened. So I had to judge you to get Larry in the frame show. Well, I think also Kyle, when you're dealing with somebody that cracker have any lips, mustaches don't look good. Look at that cracker. Oh, he looks like a turtle. Who's been eating something gross. What beautiful eyes he has that

that chin is like, it is really, if ever there was a man in need of one of those JD Vance beards, my goodness. But I watch him play and I'm so inspired as a proud As a white man. I watched this one thing. I don't know who he's with. He's with some legend of the game I'm sure some coach and the coach has asked him how he shoots He's like well, you know, I bring it back right about the here Because if I bring the bat back back here, then it's out of my frame of view And now I'm just throwing it and then I'm just throwing it and he throws

it. He does it like that. And he goes perfectly and he's like, you know, knowing me. Larry, I need to look. I love the interviews and I on my Instagram feed is basically, I'll tell you what's on my Instagram feed, Larry Bird highlights. I love basketball podcasts. Those guys tell great stories. They really tell great stories. Better than the other sports podcasts. I don't know why but their stories are fucking

top notch. So and I also like videos pages of animals that aren't supposed to get along but do like ducks, Kathy bar is are the goats of that. supposed to get along but do. Like cats and ducks. Cappy Barra's are the goats of that. They get along with everybody. The best, dude, the best. Joe, when Jacob and I were in Australia this, like a month or so ago, we fed hyenas. Sick, what'd you feed them?

Yeah, femur bones. I knew they liked bones because they have that intense acid in their stomachs, right? What I found out about hyenas. What about the jaws in the animal kingdom? Yes. And you know what else I found out about them is that their stomachs kill bacteria and virus. So they stop the spread of disease to other animals, but they never get sick. They eat anything. That's awesome. The tigers and the lions can't eat all the bones.

The hyenas will just wait. They leave the bones there. The hyenas come and clean it up. But even if something's been there or is sick or is diseased, the hyena will eat it. They don't get sick and the disease dies in their stomach. So how were you safe when you fed them? Were you like, did you drop it in a cage?

We're offense, my man, we're offense. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. They weren't like this and I'd get rid of that meat quick. I don't know, for all I know, you're on like the Savannah or the Sahara, I mean to say, African tour. You know what else I found out is that the female hyena,

bigger and stronger, it's a matriarch and that the genitalia, it takes like six months to just figure out if it's a matriarch and that the genitalia it takes like six months to just figure out if it's a female or male because they look the same and it's weird the females pick the mates and lots of normal people tell them about their vaginas well I didn't get too close to them. Oh, well, I guess you tell us about their vaginas. So it's not so much a vagina as it is a pseudo penis. Yes, I believe that is what science refers to it as the female hyena has a pseudo penis that the male has to like get up

inside of like an anteater getting the big rub grub worm at the bottom of the termite mound or whatever and when she gives birth it is through said pseudo penis it goes through like an elephant snooped of her cock and is laid out. Is it just like a prolapsed pussy? No no no no Zach show us a uh even if like show us you don't have to Zach Because I'm not describing it very well. It's it's it's it looks like a penis that's coming out of her Okay, pull it up and it comes it's like a tube that the baby is born through You know what else I didn't know that they're one of the few pack animals that are matriarchs. Yeah And very few I don't know of any others. And the young females don't challenge the head matriarch usually dies of old age. They don't

challenge like they do in the lions and tigers. The young men challenge the older. They just let them die and then a younger one takes his place. Yeah, that's crazy. Perfect Zach. Looking at this picture right now. So how they don't have hands. So and I assume that penile clitoris with UGS is like always flaccid. So like how does it even get how are they finagling the male penis up into like this loose skin? There's a there's some videos online. It's not really a loose skin is it.

It would be engorged. Google, Google docking and tell me how that goes docking well let's take a look there's a well there's a way did you see the first recorded humpback whales humping the other day no no we called them that before we've even seen it what are you talking about it's the first time it's ever been recorded on tape. They've got a video of these. Right. Taylor's like, how did they get that name? If we had never observed the humping until because of the hump in their back.

Oh, that checks. I like having said that, like you were the stupidest person he's ever talked to. Like, oh, they're back. Why do they call the blue whale the blue whale? I know that one because we can see it's blue. I'll let you go first. That great white shark, you know why they call it that, right? Because it's great.

How is it so big and fucking white? They're not even white, are they? I mean, the belly is very white. Yeah. The underside is very white. Probably just much whiter than the other sharks. And they were so used to like blue sharks

that they saw the great white and they're like, what a great white shark. What a huge white shark. I think they just claim the coolest shark for themselves as a race. This is the white shark. Yeah, this is the white color.

What do you mind who sent me some pictures? I wish I had them to send to you guys. Oh, I'm sorry. I hate to go back. They were two male whales though. I had to point that out. That was the punchline. It was it turned out to be two gay whales banging. That's what they got recorded. Do you think they know the difference or they're just out there fucking? I think they know the difference. And these two dudes are like boys and to them, it's no big deal. It's more like a handshake to them.

It's like pop it in there, bro. I'm a little, I'm feeling lonely. Yeah. It's when I hear about stuff like that, they don't have hands. They can't hold hands. Like, I always feel like we use our own human friendliness and lay it on top of instances of like that in nature where we're like, oh, those are just boys having a good time. It's like, no, I think that gorilla

is dominantly molesting that gorilla. No, no, the bottom was the big strong one. They're not like hugging afterward. No, there was a power bottom. That was the situation. You had actually more of a twinkish quail on top. A twinkish quail? Yeah, yeah, like a young hairless twink quail twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig,

a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, a twig, in there so you can really, no hands, right? So you can't lock it on. That checks. Pop it in. We know that a lot of animals have those barbed penises. Cats. That's why dogs take a long time to stop fucking, right? Or is it cats?

It's cats. It's cats. Dogs have knots. Dogs have, okay, well that sticks you in the same as a barb would, right? Well, if you had to choose, would you rather have a butt plug or a toilet brush? I'd buy you a butt plug all day. It didn't take long. There is a big difference between a cat dick and a dog dick if you're a cat.

They probably have really tough leathery vaginas, so they're built for it. No, you hear them screaming in pain when they have sex. If you never heard, you can hear cats when they're banging. They'll be in the bushes going, and I always thought they were just like loud fucks, but I think it's just a female cat and an enormous amount of pain. It feels like barbed penis would be uncomfortable. Why do you know what a barbed penis feels like? I said it feels like I know I did hear you correctly. It feels like it. I said I would imagine.

I would imagine that a ball of paint was uncomfortable. Yeah, it wouldn't feel good. You're gonna see that sometimes at porno though. They take a toilet brush and stick it in a lady. We are watching different porn. Yeah, clearly. Yeah, Kyle. Tell me where the other six black guys.

That's wrong. Speaking of my version of porn. Now, what point in that porn does like the hot girl get stuck in the dryer? When does that happen? Towards the end when they're done with her. Or she gets stuck under the bed. What would you say is the weirdest

or maybe most disturbing porn? Oh, we did. We talked about this years and years ago. And I remember, maybe we were doing like a segment going through deviant art, which is like a site where a bunch of people upload their own art. And there was like a whole community called vore. And all they were into, like a lot of it wasn't even nude. It was just like people eating other people or like swallowing them or consuming them. I think Vore is specifically like the enormous woman, like the fantasy of like a 50 foot, you know remember the movie Attack of the 50 foot tall woman? It's like a really tall

attractive lady like walking around in heels. I think the fantasy involves an enormous woman grabbing you or maybe you being small. It's the discrepancy in size that's the fetish and being devoured like a little man and becoming part of her or something. I think that's what the core of Vore is. I thought it was about eating. It's part of it, but there's also like, it's not cannibalism per se you know it's not that would be a separate thing like like that German guy who was advertising to like sell his penis to be eaten online or whatever the hell that time he's not into vor at all he's into cannibalism and like sadism

I just looked up deviant art and vor That was one of the first gifts. And I think- But Vore feels like- I'm not sure that's actual- Like smothering times 10. Yes, but it's not just being smothered. You have to be eaten. In the, have you ever seen that, that anime Attack on Titan?

No. No. Little. Oh. Well, a core component of that is enormous Human like monsters who eat you in that way. So there's definitely rule 34 That's attack on Titan, right or my mixing it up with sounds right something There's definitely like some crossover there. I don't understand that one for say I don't want to be devoured by a woman See look look at this gift Kyle it's an enormous one. It's a lady wearing like furry pants inside a what I assume to be a belly being digested. She's been eaten and she's being digested. Yeah and so you get two sides of this coin the people who are jacking off to the big fat extra. Or hang on a minute. The people jacking off to the internal.

Are you sure she hasn't been slid into a pussy? I know I see the acid. I see the pool of acid. She's floating in. I OK. It took me a second to like understand the physics. I didn't realize she was waist deep in ass. I didn't realize that right now. He's sort of floating. Yeah, it took me a second to recognize that. OK, yeah, she's definitely been eaten and is being devoured.

And she's happy about it. Yeah. I was so that's an interesting one. Maybe that's just a girl who's in the war. What did what did you have in mind, Josh? Well, I'm so curious out of the three, Woody, what's your like, what is your weirdest sexual you seem like that was Zach, that was great. What like you seem like you would be more right down the middle as far as your sexual proclivities. I'm not sure what the question is, but I'm. What would be, what's your weirdest ask? His mom watches this show. What are you doing right now?

She never misses an episode. She never misses a minute. She could be traveling to China, something they do more often than you'd guess. And she comes back and catches up on like the 12 hours. I just like it when I'm with a woman who loves me. Dude, in North Carolina, porn has been roughly outlawed. You need a VPN to see it or anything.

Which means the only sites that just flaunt the law are the wildest ones. So the homepage of these places will have like half of the pages involve murder, murder. And then they bang the corpses. And I'm like, this has backfired on you. I'm weirder than ever. Where are you going? Where are you going?

What website is this? Motherless. Wait, yes, yes. I bet me, you know what's funny? And motherless they have one thing. There's a category called being watched now. I bet Woody's videos are being displayed on there. Sometimes when I log in, that's beautiful. And I'm so glad Woody said it before me

because I don't feel as guilty now. What's motherless? motherless.com is like porn site. Website that ignores North Carolina legislation. Yes. That must be so funny. You're like, man, I can't wait to jack off to some big tits. And then you open it like, Oh, fuck a Serbian guy with his head caped in.

Let's go a little. No, it won't be that. It'll be like a woman completely covered in shit crawling on the floor. And she looks sad. Or it'll be a regular porn. You monsters. It'll be a vagina that's been stapled shut. Or it'll be like a penis that's got maggots coming out of the tip. Nah.

And you're like scrolling, looking for the good stuff, you know? I just want to see a good throat fuck. Is this balanced out by like, oh, here's a big titty girl stuck in a dryer. Yes. Yeah, all right, none of that. No fakery.

This is real. This is all like- He's really stuck. This isn't like- No, there fakery because there's those women aren't really being murdered, but hangings there's a lot of like it starts off with like Consensual kissing and then she strangled and then he has his way with her dead body. She's not dead. She's an act Yeah, yeah, yeah, but can I interject a little because I so there's one branch of it I've watched a good bit of this stuff For research and and so what they do is because I wanted to say what the fuck is this?

I've never seen one where I thought it was even close to real it by the way watch the movie eight millimeter It's about this exact topic It's about it's about an investigator finding a snuff film and then researching whether it's real or not. James Gandolfini, Nicholas Cage, bunch of good actors, very good movie. But I've never seen anything that looked real. But what I have seen is where they're not even trying. At the beginning, the guy'll like sneak up behind the girl

in a ninja suit and he'll have like a fake baton and he'll go tink in the back of her head, like clearly not making contact. And she goes she goes ah and now she's unconscious so he can and now you're not even hard but are the fucking magnets in the staples real that's real that's real I believe the staples are real because we've looked up before when filthy was on here years ago the people who have like the sexual hangups around sexual hangups, like the literal hanging by hooks in their flesh.

And they incorporate that into suspension play, which is ghastly. It's hard to say that Motherless has a theme, right? Because it's just wild stuff. But if I were to say it did have a theme, it would be women making bad decisions, right? Some of it's fake. But also like, like, you know what, I don't think this guy that

uploaded your revenge porn really loved you. What's the tamest thing that's on there? Just sex just just a little romantic evening out with your wife. And then we have like, sometimes it's as innocent as

Getting girls on omega goal to show you their Yeah, there's lots of that. There's lots of like screen of Omega chats of dudes talking girls and to get naked or whatever just anything and everything lots of like chat roulette and then just lots of like dirty girls who like to have a dirty time and they uploaded that shit in 2005. What do you just need to get a VPN? Because they got an iPhone 3. This is more trouble than it's worth. When Kyle says dirty girls, if you're not picturing them covered in scat, then you're not picturing it right. Dude, it's a landmine when you scroll.

And I thought about this recently, I swear, that I've trained my brain to like ignore the poop. Like I need to know that it is poop, but I don't need to ever look at it. Like I'm like, oh, that person clearly covered in something brown, keep scrolling. All right, I think that's a closeup of a penis with something crawling out of it.

Don't wanna see that, keep moving. It's rough. It really is. But like what he said, the option is the other option is like go to Pornhub. And it's so like cookie cutter and 4K HD. Like they're actresses and actors that aren't good at acting. If I go to Pornhub now, I just get a lady lecturing me about North Carolina politics. Is she hot?

No. She's fine. Oh, is she? Let me see again. That's funny. I'd like to see that. Yeah, that is pretty funny. If you go to that website, there's no porn.

It's just somebody telling you that you shouldn't watch porn. It's someone saying, like, thanks to the politics. As you may know, your elected officials in North Carolina are requiring us to verify your age before you access our website. While safety and compliance are at the forefront of our mission, giving your ID card every time you want to visit an adult platform is not the most effective solution. And then it's like six paragraphs long, but basically they say we're not servicing your state. But who doesn't think it's being logged every time you put your ID? So at some point in time, it's going to come out that some dude in North Carolina locked onto Pornhub 180 times in one

week. Yeah. He had a rough week. He was sad. Yeah, that's that is so gay. That they have like a lecture on there for you. Oh, now you've been pushed. You've been pushed into the weirdest corner of the internet for porn. And you're having to scroll through just dastardly things. Just to be just to see a big titty bitch jumping around. I'm well, big titty, who are you talking to?

I'm superimposing my own life. There's all sorts of great stuff on there. The casting videos are fun, like especially the European casting stuff. Big fan of that. Why European casting over the American casting? Because those women are like they didn't grow up eating our processed food or something. They look they are all like 98 pounds. I can't tell they're bad actresses when I have to understand what they're saying through closed

captions. That too. That too. And if they look scared then that's better. Now I know they're not acting. You know. See now that's look at you. Now you're supporting Andrew Tate. No, no, no. He just got deplatformed. He did? Yeah, they took him off of- Wait, again? Well, all right, let me explain.

He started a new podcast called Pimpin'. No, no he didn't. He started a new podcast called Pimpin' and they took it down off of spotify Still being uh, like he's still being prosecuted for human trafficking. He's here now though Yeah, that that guy seems uh Like an asshole seems like you shouldn't be affiliated with this guy. God damn, yeah. That was the accusation, right?

I'm not that up on it, but they were like, yeah, he was keeping a bunch of women, paying them like a pittance and putting them in a warehouse with fake bedroom setups. And then they would make a bunch of money on his behalf doing cam girl stuff. I think he's just got a lot of haters. What it sounds like to me is that he was running a telemarketer business and his ladies got a little hot and maybe their choice of clothing was a little scant. But they're in a private domicile, all right? You don't come into another man's house and tell him what he can and can't wear.

I don't. You don't barge into my series of shipping containers and tell me what I can do with my girls. You tell me how those shipping containers are and how you buy shipping containers. And the Russian mobsters. I bought those women from OK, not not you. Yeah, yeah, I don't know anything about that.

There there are different reports on whether or not he, you know, guy seems like a creep. Yeah, did you? I can't tell you. I genuinely can't tell because I know his persona is an act. I'm sure there's an extent of it, but he was doing all that shit

I think it's hyped up and then the core of it is there. Yeah, but he's the one who hypes it up So like oh, yeah. Yeah, but like hmm Now, you know what? I can't tell where the true Andrew Tate lies like like Kyle, you know it might be hyped up a little but I lies like like Kyle, you know, it might be hyped up a little but I think he believes 80% of what he's saying for sure. I wish I could remember the end of the world. He broke character a little and it was funny. I think they asked him some absurd question. You know, they they asked him absurd questions because he gives absurd answers. So they're like, what if you ever had a daughter? He's like, I would disown her. He's like, really?

No, I'd love her and cherish her the rest of my life. Or something like that. It was it was funny, though. I don't I don't know that guy. So I try not to judge him. And also, like, like he hasn't been found guilty of anything. And the and the legal system that's been going after him is not our good old American legal system that only shoots straight. You know, it's that weird Romanian legal system, some holdover from behind the red curtain, some communist oligarchy of who knows what's it. Maybe he just didn't bribe the right people. I bet there's all sorts

of corruption going on that could explain away why the tapes are being prosecuted, excuse me, persecuted in Romania. Wasn't he there for like a year and a half? They had him locked up for a minute. He was, yeah, they had him held up. So Romania actually had him locked up? I didn't know. For like a year in prison, yeah.

Like holding them behind bars. How'd he get out? Yeah. They just let him go. They just let him go. They just let him go? I think it turned out the charges didn't come to fruition of some way. I know he's in the US now

because Trump invited him and he helped with the review. He's still being prosecuted. Like he's not free yet. But they gave him his stuff back. I do love how Florida was like, nah. Oh, Rhonda Santus is just like. Did they say get out of here? Yeah. Rhonda Santus is just like. Did they say get out of here?

Yeah. Rhonda Santus said, you're not welcome here. And a break. I think that's probably the right move. Like. He's not welcome in Missouri. Are you? No, he's not welcome in Missouri.

Missouri. What are you? What are y'all the show me state or something? The show me state. Yeah. And I, and I. There's no room in the show me state or something? The show me state. Yeah. And I and I there's no room to show me state for the brothers and no version of pornography. We have a lot of respect here in Missouri for the Romanian justice system.

And so, you know, I'll leave it to those guys. Then I've seen Dick Masterson. I've seen Dick Masterson making fun of the whole like attempted Andrew Tate, like redemption, I guess you would call it, arc. And he just over and over is like, like he'll see a picture of some like conservative grifter with Andrew Tate like smiling and dicks every time is like,

you people are the dumbest fucking retards on earth. Just know it's gonna come out that this guy was doing all the shit he was accused of and then you're gonna have a picture smiling like a fucking retard next to this dude who had a bunch of women in Romanian shipping containers dancing for him. Just like more and more of these people.

And I was like, yeah, that seems pretty salient to me. Like why would you associate with that guy? Why? Containers aren't cheap. Retard porn would have been the weirdest one I saw. Oh, how retarded? Like the noises were disturbing. How retarded were they?

Like quirky from life goes on. Can I recommend if you like retard porn for that reason, I recommend death porn. You get all the same noises, but none of the after coiled. I didn't want you to get the impression that I liked it. That wasn't looking for more. Oh, I know you didn't want me to wait. Was it like, uh, was it like midget porn where like only one of them was retarded?

Yes, actually. Now that ethically is a bag of bag of worms there. They should both be retarded. Yeah. Although it is hotter. The intro to like the porn is like their mom driving and like picking up the other one because they get drive. I was hanging out with the other one Because they get drive I

Was hanging out with the boys in in discord and I won't say who but a couple of them have infiltrated this like degenerate Subreddit and aren't actually not degenerate discord and so they like send us screenshots of what's going on in there And it's like crazy shit There's like some dude doing meth with like a fat grandma And then he's she's like eating his ass while he jerks off. I'm pretty sure there's like members of the other discord like that. They're like streaming in the discord this crazy stuff. It's a wild time. It's going to get uploaded to motherless in no time. It feels like though it's happening in Missouri for sure. Well, we're the land of freedom. If you want to do meth with your fat grandma,

here's the place to do it. Meth capital of the world, probably. At least it's not anywhere where bootlegging used to be, be a thing. It seems like meth like slid right into there because it's a very similar kind of thing where you can make it in the w the low class drug in the woods in secret and then make a little cash. So I know like Rabin County, Georgia is a fucking problem. Yeah. When I used to play smaller towns in Tennessee, I always had somebody in the meet and greet bring me moonshine.

Yeah. Was it good? Well, here's what they were. I was like, I'm going to pour it. I remember the first time somebody gave me something. I was like, I'm going to pour glass. So like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't drink a whole glass of this. You'll go fucking blind. Yeah. This is not something like you.

You drink like five glasses of this. This is like grain alcohol, but it was too strong. Man, I'm not a big drinker. I'm more of a drug guy, you know? So it was always a little too strong for me, I'm not a big drinker. I'm more of a drug guy, you know? So it was always a little too strong for me, but somebody always brought it, man. And I was supposed to mix it, like dilute it. And dilute it.

I mean, I would, I don't know how they drink it. They probably dilute it to begin with. They're probably not drinking it. I don't give it to the people in the club, but we get drugs all the time in the meet and greet. Jacob got my son He got these hits of acid from a woman in a wheelchair fuck. Yeah, they have the best good drugs I'm like, I'm not even paralyzed

That's how good this shit is. You should play awesome music. Excuse me while I wheel away. Yeah, yeah. People are very free with their drugs in the meet and greet, which is nice. The thing you said about going blind from the moonshine, did you like, you know, that was a real thing? Where like, that's if methanol, because you know, ethanol is like what alcohol is, what gets you drunk. If you don't distill it, right, you get methanol and that can like make you go blind. And so in the actual cure,

if you drink something with a bunch of methanol in it is to drink a bunch of ethanol because that like neutralizes it. And so literally like Woody, if you took a shot of methanol and you were worried about going blind, like doctor's orders would be like, as soon as you can, you need to chug vodka. You need to get ethanol in your system to counteract the methanol.

I thought that was so crazy. So I used to go all- Have you guys ever met my son? Yeah, yeah, we've had him on. What are we talking about? We're on the PK podcast. Oh, yay! We're in Fort Worth, We got a show tonight.

He just... How are you, sir? A little Cars hoodie. Oh, it's Lightning McQueen with a diamond grill. What's good? It's Lightning McQueen with a diamond grill. I love it. Perfect sign.

I have a slightly bit of autism. I don't know what it is, you know? No, it looks good. You mesh with your dad in that way. He keeps trying to tell me he's autistic. You know what I find about his generation? They want to be diagnosed with something. See, I'm coming at it from the other direction. They diagnose me with it. What he sees all of that is stolen valor.

That is a true thing though. Like people like especially the generation below me even will be like, haha, I have an intense interest in this very popular thing. So autistic. And it's like, no, you're just you're just interested in this thing. It's very that's normal. And it's like, do you get do you like panic at the bank because you're gonna have to talk to the teller? No, you're not autistic.

Like could you sell something to someone? Could you work in sales and have a modicum of success? Yes. Well, could you sell something to someone? Could you work in sales and have a modicum of success? Yes, well then you're not autistic. How dare you shut off those people? It is a spectrum I'll have to know. Yeah. How have you known? Well, but you can't.

I do like trains. Just because you're like normal person. He doesn't. I'm only climbing to get on a train. Every time we see a train, I'm like, train! Like, we can't. All right, maybe he is but trains are a big one closer to retarded than autistic

it's just like I think they want a get out of jail free card because then they can be like no I'm not being extremely rude I'm autistic yeah it's no, you're because if you're not autistic, you're just being rude. Yeah. I mean, but also that, the rude part is more like lean's ass burgers. You right. And that's just completely blunt. And I actually enjoy those people. Yeah.

They can be fun. Yeah. The straight to your face. They say exactly what they think. Those people I tend to like. They say exactly what they think those people I tend to like Yeah, they're funny as fuck. Do they do asperger's anymore? Is that uh, anachronistic now? Do they even is that even a they classify an asperger now on the autistic spectrum? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay Yeah, yeah. Yeah

Let me know it's asperger's spectrum disorder. They're just adding fucking words That makes now it's Asperger's spectrum disorder. They're just adding fucking words Just learning more about the afflictions of the human mind Taylor, how dare you you're one of those anti science conservatives, aren't you? So anti science burgers now is just on to stop the research. That's what Taylor says Only some of the research we know enough I Want I want more research into how to make spaceships go faster. Yeah, that's a good research that everyone can enjoy because now we can film it. More research on I would say getting to the moon

again, but skip the fucking moon straight to a better planet. Again, do the Texas center robot again. But yeah, I feel like the moon is an easy shot at this point. You'd think fucking so, but they keep delaying it. I keep not going back. I think that the last time we went to the moon, we were very do or die about it. 1972. And now we're very like, hey, if we spend a hundred billion, let's not kill six of our guys on global TV. So there's a there's there's there's a big risk the first time, but I I don't think we need to take the risk again. It seems sketchy.

And look, we can't even get those astronauts back that are in low Earth orbit right now. They've been up there for like a year or something. They've got families back home. Those people are having a meltdown and they're getting switched politically. We can't get them back alive. That's a good point. That's a good point. They just...

How do we get them back alive? We literally can't get them back alive. Elon has to go get them in his starship and they scrubbed the mission that was supposed to take off this week to get them. Something happened. So it's the late of another year. Something happened. Oh, I laid another. Those dudes are definitely looking at motherless. What if what if the Republican legislation reached to the ISS? So they're just trying to jack off and then they get that lady scolding them.

That's how you let you lose our whole program. They're going to be shooting out the windows. No jerk off in space. What's the look that up somebody? What's the International Space Station's IP address grounded at? Like, where do they call home? Like, you know, like we're Houston. Where is it?

Maybe. But I mean, they're they're 100. If so, going around and around. Or make it lapse. Could they get really good? Is Starlink? Well, they wouldn't. Starlink is about bouncing the signal from the earth

up to there and then getting it out to other people. You wouldn't need Starlink to do that. You could just send the signal to them. I'm just asking, like if you did use the wifi on the space station to log into a porn site, where does the porn site think you're logging in from? Ah, oh, I don't know. Maybe they have to like bring their own

like magazines or something, or like a thumb drive. A thumb drive. Wacking material on the space station? You think they're making astronauts jerk off to magazines? Not magazines, you get a little drive. A personal value. You got to swallow it. You can't have that floating around.

Can't be floating around. Yeah, you can. They've got ways, because otherwise one sneeze would be a cataclysm. It's a closed loop of water. You cannot be losing those loads, especially not locking load voluminous loads. Like after a while, you'd be running low on station water if you don't consume those loads.

You just slowly deplete the system of like zinc. I enforce the same rule in this house. Not be swallowed. Not a drop shall be spilled. My seed is fresh. system of like zinc. I enforced the same rule in this house. That's a very like grew up in the Great Depression style of like blow jobs. Like, don't you waste it. You just gave me the worst mental image of my grandmother ever. Back then, we swallowed every load

because you never knew when the next one was coming. Well, it was the dust bowl and They were sloppy blowjobs. I'll tell you I won't lie. The dust bowl is actually what my grandfather called my grandmother's pussy She hated it really awkward thanksgivings Made for weird thanksgivings, but it was funny for us as kids. Did the dust bowl happen because of the lack of crop rotation? I don't fucking know. I would believe you if you said it did. Yeah, that's my understanding. I think that we didn't rotate our crops. We grew too much corn or too much wheat or whatever somewhere and they sucked all the nitrogen out of the soil or

something like that. And then the soil turned to dust and blew away after the drought. And then it was an absolute ecological disaster that lasted for years in the Midwest Google AI says it was a prolonged drought poor agricultural practices. So perhaps and high winds How long did that last Years it was a if you watch the movie interstellar Which is the the premise for Interstellar, the reason that they need to find a new planet is a blight that is slowly mutating from crop

to crop and eliminating them. And so now they're living on corn. And because they're living on corn, they're running into those same agricultural practices, which is not rotating your corn with other crops. And so they're sucking all of one nutrient out of the soil, not replacing it all. And soon the soil is going to turn into that dust bowl environment. and so they're sucking all of one nutrient out of the soil and not replacing it all. And soon the soil is going to turn into that dust bowl environment. And so they used images and I think historical footage from the original dust bowl in that movie. But when people were referring to like

how the new dust bowl was, it was a fun little part of interstellar. I looked it up, blasted from 1930 to 1940 although 34 to 36 was the height of it Already dealing with the depression right can you imagine like you're already dirt fucking poor and then the dirt blows away And even like have beer because alcohol is illegal what an awful time oh They had beer. I think of that as the twenties. When was alcohol legal? Yeah. Prohibition was early on. Oh, was that over by the thirties? I don't know. I'm not calling you wrong.

I thought maybe you knew. Oh, nevermind. I guess they could drown their sorrows of their, had their fucking dusty plane they're living in. Plus I think it was proud. I mean, they had cocaine and cola, right? He's he's got it right? He's kind of right, there's overlap 1920 to 1933. To 1933. Oh okay. Man that was, that was a little crazy time for them to just be like hey no more of this. Do you know how many Irish people we had in the country? Do you know how like, can you like, they must have like threatened to burn down city halls all across the nation

When you hear things like this It makes you realize why old people call us pussies Yeah, do you know what I mean? They're assholes. Yeah I've lived in more world-changing events than they can even shake a stick at and they can't they don't know their email address Get the fuck out of here And you didn't have to fight in it old lady. What do you stay at home? It's like you're being while you blue some draft dodging coward with a limp get out of here I don't care about your old tiny stories what you fought in vietnam

I don't care like our generation fought in like three goddamn wars and they poisoned us in every one of them And then we lost every one of them them. And then we lost every one of them. Like, and- And then we lost every one of them. There we are, our little outing and this- Our franchise is going through a dry spell right now. But all we need is one more, you know, chance at the cup. We just need one star to turn us around. Yeah, exactly. I think we're on the-

We're one player away from winning this thing. I watched Trump today, and though we'll obviously did an hour and a fucking half with the UN secretary general and He said we've got 200 no. No, he said we got a lot of troops in Greenland already might send a lot more soon To Greenland to con to annex it. Yes, he want he's he's worried about the Chinese and Russian flights over the Arctic He did you hear him today talking about how Canada would be the best state and He would let them keep the national anthem. Yeah, I did read that. Oh, that's a kindness

They could still sing it Not only did he say that. I know I saw that article. He said they could still sing the they could do that. They could keep their flag as sort of a state flag. And and he would only deflower their brides for the first month of the statehood. Freeman. I'm bringing back Prima. Not in this office.

Dude, I'm going to look a lot of young girls. Your girlfriend, I'm fucking her. Gotta breed the French out. It's the only way. No, but if we like that's ridiculous. We let them keep their own song. What are we gonna let them keep the queen on money? Is that what we're doing now?

Well, I mean, it would be a giant state for God sakes. Way too big Really huge Projection messes me up. Oh, yeah do square miles compare it to our the lower 48 like that'll tell us right away It's how many square miles is the lower 48 how many square miles is Canada and then we're solid we get a lot Well, I mean don't deprive us of Alaska like that's a lot I but I want to be but I can't imaginerive us of Alaska. Like that's a lot. But I can't imagine how big Alaska is either

because it's so goddamn big. So including it throws any comparison I can actually do in my brain off. Actually, it's slightly larger according to Zach. Canada's got three. Slightly larger, thanks for the specificity. I was gonna read the fucking number. Zach, can you show that website and drag Canada onto America?

No, you drag us onto Canada. You can probably do both. I don't know. You just enter the word Canada. Look at Florida. What do you think that is? And then you'll be able to drag it around. You think that's a pseudo penis? Uh-uh.

No, that's a hyena clit. Idiot. Thank you, cock. Florida's a cock. I am a woman cock. I've messed around with the same site, Woody. It's kind of fun. Yeah.

It's a little eye-opening sometimes. It really shows like the US.s. Is a fucking huge country, but then you feel like if you drag us over Russia It's like ah fuck. They're not just a little bigger I think you know really you need a different map that shows Average yearly temperature as well or maybe that just overlays roads so that you you would see that Siberia is a worthless worthless place Maybe that just overlays roads so that you would see that Siberia is a worthless, worthless place. Yeah.

Well, I wouldn't want to hang out in Siberia. You could slice off a third of Russia that no one lives there. Yeah, but there's a huge part of Canada that does not have a ton of people. Yeah. If you look at where the population is, it's within 200 miles of the border. Yeah. Yeah. Mostly. Very few of them. That at where the population is, it's within 200 miles of the border. Yeah. Yeah. Mostly. Very few of them. That's where the concentration is. I've seen some of those maps too. No, the whole thing is

interesting. I feel bad for Canadians who are caught in the middle of the nonsense, but I see numbers on both sides that upset me. So I hope that they get to the bottom of it. What numbers are the Canadians doing that upset you? Help me understand. Oh, I should make a goddamn... Oh, I didn't mean to like pop quiz you in front of everyone. I know. No, no, no, no. It was, um, the cheese thing you explained well, there was a thing about dairy. But but but just I think there was something about auto,

about about cars that didn't make any sense. The car thing I don't know. The dairy thing. Something about banking too, something about keeping our banking institutions out. No, American banks do business in Canada. But I don't. I know that Canada protects its dairy farmers

and that's cheese, that's milk, and that's some other things too. But America subsidizes its dairy farmers and that's cheese, that's milk, and that's some other things too. But America subsidizes its dairy farmers. So non-subsidized farmers can't compete on price. So like they get to sell out their stuff before and then the tariffs drop after they provide enough. It's complicated and it's nuanced. And anytime you're explaining nuance, you're losing.

The thing, that's why the Trump administration is so smart. Clearly what they want is for all the deals to go their way. No, not the fentanyl. The fentanyl is the red herring that you wave and- No, man it is fentanyl is the problem, Kyle. I've listened to it from the horse's mouth himself.

And that is a smart move. Because their fentanyl is so powerful. Because you can fucking put that on TV and you can show me a picture of it and you can show me statistics of dead Americans with that. But what you can't do is say, well, 2.5% interest over here on this import of specific kinds of aluminum. It's the high quality aluminum. You see Saskatchewan, it gets nitty gritty, economic and boring. But if he just says there's some poison, there's some killers in and we're not gonna Stand for it because I'm here for America

America you're like, holy shit. I'm for America too. And you're you know, you're down for When you base your argument on easily disprovable lies, you're not winning me over now. You might win some people over well I want me clearly the majority though. That's all he needs I I agree doesn't have the majority on this topic and he's the least popular president in the history of America for the last 70 years is Trump's first term and the least popular, the second least popular is his second term. Are you sure? Yeah, because you have to look at Biden's start which was actually pretty strong to compare it fairly. Biden ended poorly but we can can't compare it to the end of Trump's.

That matters. Do you think Biden knows that he's not president anymore? There's a non-zero chance that he doesn't. Bad. Bad. Yeah, I won't defend him. I don't need to hear it. What are we doing today?

There's no defending Biden at all. I I I I I I've soured on Biden. What little sweetness I had on him. You know, I, someone said something interesting. They're like, you notice Hunter Biden's not getting hired to any boards of companies lately. No one wants his vast amount of experience, expertise and genius out there in the world.

They used to pay it just hand over fist, just trying to get him and hire him, but no longer. That whole Ukrainian thing is weird. And the fact that we are now embroiled in Ukrainian war, like having that Biden Ukraine thing from eight, 10 years ago or whatever, that looks weird to me. That'd be a good conspiracy theory for you to do, Taylor, to just... Oh, that'd be funny. Because I think there's meat on them bones. The whole email where... I think Hunter was... Someone was emailing someone from Ukraine and there was some quid pro quo and they were mentioning the big guy. 10% for the big guy.

The big guy needed to get paid off and it's like, who's the big guy? That's so funny. They just lied and were like, there's nothing to this our politicians definitely aren't bad by the way I look at you you did the exact same thing I looked at presidential approval ratings there but you're not good company if you're comparing yourself to the Trump family but shouldn't be written off right we've talked about hunter Biden and how he obviously is not an expert in Ukrainian energy again and again and again. Everyone's been talking about it for the last six years maybe.

And it is bullshit. I'm not defending it. It's obviously corrupt. This guy is not qualified to help Ukrainian energy companies. We all know he was paid so they would get access to his father. But Donald Trump Jr. is not an expert in technology, yet he's been hired by BlinkRx and his mission is to, it's a tech company and they hired Donald Trump Jr. and they put him

on the board and they're paying him. Donald Trump Jr. doesn't know fuck all about Donald Trump. But what's the next part? Where it comes to criminals. How much money did Ivanka Trump's husband get from the Saudis? Say that again? How much money did Ivanka Trump's husband get from the Saudis? Two billion. Probably a lot. Yeah, like this is a Republican Democrat thing. This is like, that's where I see some difference. I will say as a Jew, I bet you Jared's good with his money, but I'm not sure he would have gotten the two bill

without the intro and the fucking on the read. I bet he used some of those negotiation skills and he like, they went in there thinking they were going to give him like 800 million. He walked out with two bill clean to bill a great negotiator. This like that's, that's probably true. They, they like, well, they thought they were going to out-negotiate a Jewish guy who walked in and they Walked out and he's like we just not taken for the ride

For Yeah, yeah, I looked up by the way the the approval rating thing that's not George Bush Both George Bush's had lower approval rating Jimmy Carter had lower approval Richard Nixon. Are you just doing their low peak? This is highest approval, lowest approval, highest disapproval, lowest disapproval. Do you all remember how unpopular Bush jr. was on his way out? A little bit. Yeah, everybody hated Truman. This guy's... It was rough. He was rough and then Obama was there in the waiting in the wings. Charismatic and intelligent and well-spoken did Biden had some, what is that racist shit Biden said about him at the time? He's always like, he's a well spoken kid looks clean.

First time I saw him walk into the office, I said, somebody, somebody called security. Then he started talking. I said, this guy, this guy isn't as bad as the rest of them. I said, that boy knows a thing or two. That boy knows it. Yeah. That's dude. I wish we could have got like, see now Biden up there more. Just like at like, I never wanted to hear Biden talk more than after that presidential debate. It's like, put them on stage, let him talk. Honestly, as somebody who loves his grandparents, I was like, to get this guy off the fucking screen. As soon as we saw him fall off the bike, I'm like, I don't need to see anymore. The bike I'm okay with. Woody explained the bike to me. Woody comes from a family of bikers and

he's done a lot of biking and apparently you got special shoes with that kind of bike that like peg into your peg. They click in. Yeah, they click in. A cyclist pulls up on the pedals on the upstroke and pulls down on the other and you pedal all the way around. So you either have toe clips where your foot fits into a clip

and then you can pull up on it or a specialized shoe and underneath it is a clip that like you press really hard and it snaps in. But to get out, you have to twist your foot sideways instead of just lifting it. And even I is like a pretty athletic 17 year old would tip over sometimes. It happens.

So you gotta ask yourself the question. You see your husband's heading out the door to do his press thing and he's going to do a little biking today. Hey, you look pretty good in that biking suit. You've kept your figure at 70, sir. 80 actually. Fuck.

She calls her husband, sir. It's an old time. She was born in the 20s. Okay. He calls her doctor. And then he goes to put on his clippy shoes. Like don't you say, oh my God, what are you thinking? Put on your new balance.

You don't want to lose your footing out there and Hey, you're going to set a record today. We know, we know you had some good times back in the day. Today. How are you? How'd you get into my house? And I like, like what, how did they let him go out the door and like pro cycling shoes that clip in and can be awkward to use You know like like if I were gonna do a press thing and I was gonna be on ice skates

I'd want them to make them blades fat. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be on some That would make it so much harder I'll tell you one thing I do love about Biden. He seems like the kind of dude if someone's like, can you do this? He's like, fuck yeah, I can do that. No matter what it is, he seems like the kind of dude who's always been like, yeah, I can do this. He's confident. You know what I liked? My favorite thing about Biden is every so often he would start a sentence or an address or like an answer. We'd be like, hey, what's in here, Jack. Like where he would call people Jack. And I loved that. That was my just far and away top favorite thing about Joe Biden. He wanted to reassure you, he went, rather, he wanted to assure you that what he was saying was not hyperbole. I'm serious. I mean it.

It's not hyperbole. Like he would, he would over and over, he would hammer on those three phrases. Like he was really worried that people weren't going to take him seriously or something. I'm sure I mean He was funny big shout out friend of the show but he could do the car commercial I'll tell you that No, oh by the way, I looked up the job approval thing. It's initial Approval ratings and disapproval ratings and Trump does have the worst and second worst. Oh initial initial approval. Yeah, that's that's kind of a weird metric to look at. What was the what was the worst? What was it in the first term? In the first term, his approval was 45 and his disapproval was 48.

In the second term, which is kind of current, his initial is 47 approved and 48 disapproved. The next worst one is Biden. And then after that it's Bill Clinton maybe? It's hard to rank them. Did you say jobs approval rating or overall? Initial job approval ratings of elected US presidents from 1953 forward. I would be okay with comparing them

through their terms to this point. Like everyone's 53rd day, et cetera. Yeah, right? It's hard to compare Trump's current term, especially because... This is a very unique thing he's doing because this will be his last term and he doesn't... doesn't matter. I don't think he cares about midterms other than like he might lose his ability to... I guess he does care about midterms. He certainly does care about reelection and how popular he's going to be, I don't think. I bet he would care about midterms. He certainly does care about reelection and how popular he's going to be I don't think I bet he would he seems fairly serious about Greenland He really does he keeps he he brought it up today to the UN Secretary General

He's like we might need to get NATO involved on this and he's like well NATO wouldn't want to get it That guy's a fucking diplomat. All right He's he's a top 1% of 1% intelligence fucking global diplomat UN Secretary General's you can imagine he would be a Very diplomatic answer. Oh, well, they would never be involved with this and this because of it's a blah blah blah blah blah We you are completely right. Mr President the Arctic security is vital and the the Chinese overflies and the Russians in that area they that we need to secure that region of the Plan it's vital to NATO scared. It's bad vital to the world peace. Oh, what a great answer You've complimented him while telling him no.

My Trump decoder ring doesn't work for shit. I thought his 25% tariffs was just an initial high starting point. You know, you don't negotiate yourself. If you're trying to buy a car for five grand, you don't come in at four, right? Well, I guess you do. I said it fucked up. But you don't come in at four, right? Well, I guess you do. I said it fucked up. But you don't come in at six, right? No art of the deal over here. But then it turns out he actually leveled levies 25%. He actually did it. He started the trade war with our closest ally. I could go on and on. But when Trump says something and then you sane wash it, finds out that scene washing was off target.

He meant what he said oftentimes. I do. The worst thing is, while I don't, I think he was hoping that there wouldn't be a trade war that they would just buckle or they would negotiate and there would never actually be tariffs. Oh, let me ask you this because I genuinely don't know because the news is so goddamn bad at getting me actual news. Have any of these tariffs actually gone into place?

Like are people paying more? Are people paying the tariffs? Are they being paid? I don't think they're paying more yet. Yeah, I don't think anything's been implemented. So nothing's happened yet! It's a lot of bluster, see? I thought they started. And I'm fact checking myself. I saw that Claudia Steinbaum, and bomb. The Mexican president called him back. Takes a little bit.

Even if they started, I think it takes a little bit for it to. Yeah, I've accounted for that. It's been months. The most absurd thing. Okay, I have the answer. Oh, go ahead. Currently, the following tariffs are in effect. 25% taxes on all steel and aluminum to Canada and 20% on China, Chinese imports.

Yeah, the Chinese is going to change. Biden kept those. Those are holdovers from his first term. The car thing, we can't allow our market. Trump raised it from 10 to 20. The China thing. Is that what you just said? I thought that they stayed the same.

There's a couple. I was thinking of the car tariff in particular because there's multiple tariffs. Obviously, I think Trump put tariffs on the cars in his first term, and then he often touts that it was such a good idea that Biden couldn't take it away, that Biden kept it because it was clearly a good idea. And it's like, yeah, that's true. But what about the fucking eggs? What about the eggs? Yeah, it's like yeah that's that's true. But what about the f***ing eggs?

What about the eggs? Yeah it's all about the eggs. How long does it take for the new chickens to come back out? He ran on eggs. He ran on eggs and deportations but now his administration has been about tariffs and I guess tariffs. Am I missing anything else? It's been about tariffs and Israel because he's making a big to do.

He's like pulling funding from universities that aren't staunchly defending Israel enough or allowing protests to happen. Oh, come on. He is. We remember what those were. That was like some BLM summer of the burning shit was going on.

We were all upset about that. They went in there, they're all wearing masks, waving Palestinian flags, chanting from the river to the sea, and they made a castle that students, journalists, no one could caress through. No one could walk through. There was like two butch lesbians with mustaches saying, you can't go fast. I'm not taking aside on the Israel-Palestine thing. I'm saying it's wild to have like the deportations is what got them elected.

And now to have no attention, no care, just lip service towards that and then be like all out, like, oh, we got to promote Israel. We got to do this and that. And it's like, I get it. Miriam Adelson, your biggest donor. We get it. Have you Read any of the stuff about The living conditions down in guantanamo where they brought up a lot of the people i'm sure they're lovely. I bet it's Really not nice guys. We went to perform in guantanamo. That's so funny. That's No, we got they let you leave looking like that. Yeah Hey one got out. You said, well, I like you be fucked.

Well, I went down with with Chelsea Handler and a couple other people on the show. We OK, we did it. We thought we were going to be going down because at the time we were flying private. So but we were on a military plane where the bathroom was just a bucket behind a curtain nice And we had all taken a bunch of ecstasy because we thought we were gonna be You thought you'd be taking Instagram And you're taking a shaky squat And you're taking a shaky squat

Over a bucket in a minute one top we land they drive us basically to Colonel Jessup's house base whose house that is right We're there fucked up And Chelsea's assistant we were there for about an hour and Chelsea we were like we gotta get out of. And we were high and we're trying to walk out and just assistant was like, Oh, I left the drugs on the kitchen counter. And I was like, wait, the kitchen counter of where? Of Colonel Jessup's house. Oh no.

I was like, are you fucking this seems like it would be real bad news for us if those got found. you know? Yeah. I will tell you, they took us on a tour of the entire, I mean, it's not that big of a, but they brought us to the initial where they where they housed the initial combatants. It was basically they were basically dog kennels. They were basically cages and they but they were basically dog kennels. They were basically cages. But there was nothing to stop them because it wasn't ready for people. That's not where they're going to sit. So they showed us the old place and then they showed us the two new, I guess you'd call

them prisons or whatever. And one was really high. I think we call them camps. When was this? When was it? What year? Oh boy. 2008? No, 2013.

Okay. Okay. But we were one of the, and I'm saying whatever, where they were detaining people, the people were like, we were looking from the up top where the guard sit and we could see all their jail cells. And I was like, are they eating Cheetos and drinking Pepsi? And they were like,

yeah, actually this is, we find these guys, we find they throw a lot less shit at us when we just let them eat Cheetos and drink Pepsi. And they were playing, there was like a main area where they're like games and shit. There was a side area for the real bad people that they were, they were like, you can't, we can't go over there. We can't go over there. But they're like drinking out of bowls. I, well,

I mean, probably not anymore. I think those people, especially then they were keeping, keep bear in mind, those are the people that they, they ran by Obama. And he was like, yeah, we're not letting that guy go. No, no, he can't leave. It was like that, now you can't leave. And that, you know, they were thinking like, Obama's gonna be the president. And then he comes in and he's like, whoa, I don't think so. We kept those people for a reason.

Those are the worst of the worst. I don't think that work. So they sent some migrants there, but now I think I read today that like that's not gonna turn out to be legal and it's gonna get challenged and they're gonna have to bring them all back at a cost of around $18 million of lost money.

And I was mad about that because you can almost make a Iraqi Sesame Street for $18 million. Almost, yeah. Almost, like 80% of the way, 80% of the way. got you got no a mirror the grouch you'd have to cut him a mirror is amazing Yeah guys Because I had a little baggage and airport stuff

I know I hopped on late, but I got to get run into this show. No, yeah, no problem Okay, where where can everyone find your stuff? ComedianJoshWolf.com. Listen, I'm shooting a special in Nashville on April 2nd. One night, two shows. I've got some crazy special guests. It's going to be a fucking great night. We're extending the stage so there's less seats. So if you want to get seats, I would get them all right now. I'm in comedianjoshwolf.com for tour dates and I'm in Fort Worth this weekend and Baltimore next weekend. And so come out, come out wherever you are. Is comedianjoshwolf.com where they buy tickets? Yes. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, we have some listeners in Nashville. Check out Josh's show. Yeah. And I also, Kyle, I wanted to let you know,

I tried a drug combo the other night that was top notch. What was that? I had never done a mushroom ketamine combo. You're reaching for the stars with that combo. It was, cause I have these ketamine lollipops. All right. Those are supposed to, for some special special forces shit That's what they give fucking seal team when they get leg blown halfway off. They are you getting next level? You take the mushrooms and text me you take oh Wait, I'm sorry. Did you say ketamine lollipops? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm thinking of fitting a

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Did you say ketamine lollipops? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm thinking of fentanyl I'd be better you got you fit in all lollipops. Yeah lightweight Why'd you discover the new drug to enjoy Scared that so I don't make drug plans anymore per se But if I'm somewhere and a thing happens that I that I might smoke a thing But but I've learned my lesson about making any sort of drug plans anymore per se but if I'm somewhere and a thing happens then I might smoke a thing but I've learned my lesson about making any sort of drug plans at all. Dude come to one of my drugs. I feel you okay. We won't plan anything but some shit might. No plan.

That's how I like to live my life. Good luck on this show tonight and everyone check out Josh's yeah content and his links Yeah, take care see ya So tell you so you're not happy with the amount of migrants lately it's 33,000 out in 55 50 days I think 50 or 55. Let me look right It comes out to like 600 a day, which is like 30,000 and 50 days. You're not happy. No, he's just not impressed with him at all so far. Like all his priorities are out of whack. I understand trying to be the big dick with tariffs and take advantage of the fact where this giant market that can wield economic power, but like

not Like hammering down on free speech He's trying to he's trying to primary. You know one thing there's there's one Republican congressman in like the entire federal government Thomas Massey who is like like hey, why are we prioritizing Israel constantly? Why are we doing this? Why are we doing it? And he's trying to primary that guy.

And it's like, well, what the fuck? Like, can you get deportations going? Can you like not make every little iota about like pleasing your donors? And then a lot of the like the optics stuff of like Tesla commercials. It's just, there's a lot of cringey stuff like that. What do you guys think about the protest organizer

with the green card who's getting disappeared? Pretty much. Excellent. You like it. Excellent. He was the leader of that terrorist organization I was referring to earlier. What are we talking about?

He's not even accused of breaking any laws. They're going after him because he's like anti-Israel. Yes. They're going after him because he organized the takeover of one of those schools. I mean, people... He's not accused of breaking any laws. They're not trying him for anything. They haven't even arrested him.

They just disappeared him. They don't do this to other protesters who do the exact same thing. It's just this issue now. And not only do they do it now, they said they were going to do it during the during the election. They had these people's pictures up on electric billboards driving around. They promised that they had billionaires coming for promising. They were saying we have the AI technology now. We don't need your face. We can see your eyes. You won't work for us. No, I see that kind of shit as anti-free speech.

I don't like it. I'm glad you said that, Taylor. I was thinking about this before the show and I was like, I wonder where Taylor lands on this because I know that free speech, particularly for individuals is a big deal for you. And I'm like, I wonder if Taylor will defend, I guess this isn't a free speech that you hate

because you're not huge on Israel either. But like, I don't know, I see this guy is not too different than Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson moved to America, right? He's not a permanent resident here. And he has made a career out of criticizing Democrats. And no one thought for one nanosecond that Joe Biden would disappear this guy.

His platform is far bigger than this Mohammed guy or whatever his name is. It's Mo, it's not Mohammed. It just sounds, it just looks close to it. And so this guy organized a protest at a university and they're like, he only has a green card. We're gonna deport him. We're gonna disappear him.

First he's in a New Jersey jail, then his family and his attorney doesn't know where he is. Turns out he's in Louisiana. They moved him somewhere else. They didn't tell anyone. He's not accused of breaking any laws. He's accused of basically peacefully assembling a protest because he doesn't like what Israel's doing

and America's support of Israel. And now he's just getting booted from the country for disagreeing with the Trump administration. I don't know all the ins and outs of that story. I just saw like a protester who was protesting what both mainstream parties hate, which is like anti-Israel stuff. Like he's getting, you know, the boot.

And just on a base level, it's like, well, I don't like people getting the boot for their speech. Like if he was violent during a protest, that's different because it's not speech anymore. He is a member of a terrorist organization. He is a supporter of a terrorist organization terrorist organization he is a supporter of a terrorist organization and he organized the organization yeah i looked all didn't see that they're the ones he's not a member of hamas is he i don't know marco rubio

seems to think he is oh marco rubio i didn't know he weighed in he is the secretary of state yeah is he what his suits are too big i think maybe he's more buff than he looks and it's hard to tailor him to not make him look extra macho. I think he does a lot of machismo in Marco Rubio. No, Marco Rubio is wearing like his dad's suit. It's weird. Even Fox News is defending this guy. Like I saw a Republican on Fox News basically read the First Amendment to me. And like it seems to fit this situation. Exactly.

That's not a US citizen. He's here on a student visa that he clearly lied on or he wouldn't have been allowed in. I see it. Like again, Jordan Peterson's not a US citizen and no one disappeared for criticizing criminal takeovers. Jordan Peterson's impact is far larger than this dude's. And there's nothing that, what law has he ever broken? What law has this guy ever broken?

That no one's accusing him of breaking any. Or I am, I am. They haven't accused me of any because they don't. You are. They're not accusing me of any crimes because they don't intend to prosecute. They want him gone. They don't want to deal with him.

He is a guest here. He is not a citizen. Isn't that funny how we can do that for certain things surrounding certain issues, but not others? How very queer. That's my point too. Like there are people who ripped on the Democrats. You didn't like killing, burning down those neighborhoods. And you didn't like it when they took over Columbia and they- Those were violent riots.

Yeah. So was Columbia. I don't- I'm not as up on the Columbia thing. I believe you. Ah, it's it. Oh, the Columbia university thing. Oh, dude, that wasn't dude. The BLM like summer was like every major city, huge areas being like burned. They were out there waving Palestinian flags, chanting anti-Semitic fucking slogans in front of that university. They took it over, made a camp city. They wouldn't allow anyone, law enforcement, faculty, staff, or student or journalist,

enter these forbidden areas that, again, I saw them, were policed by giant butch lesbians. They created their own de facto little country there for a couple of weeks, and no one knew what to do. That's why all those people got fired. That's why $400 million, is it a million dollars, has been cut off from that university? Can you answer me this truthfully? Do you think if the exact same thing played out in support of Israel, If they had taken over Columbia University, if you could phrase it that way, in support of Israel, right? They're still only letting butch lesbians walk by or something. Do you think Trump would deport this guy for his pro-Israeli stance? I can't imagine a scenario when that would happen.

You'd be given a position in the cabinet. You can't imagine it. As creative as you are. It would never happen it. I can't imagine as you are is like it would never happen You have the best image if I wanted to start a new YouTube channel and needed brilliant ideas I swear to God you would be the guy that I call but you can't imagine a pro-israeli Protest not one like that not one that takes over you would have in this scenario Why you doesn't have the protest when both establishment parties are fully in their pocket. We're talking a hypothetical here though and and I'm saying they're only deploring this guy because they don't like what he has to say. Yeah all right in this hypothetical scenario again you would need the university to somehow be supporting a terrorist organization

and then the Israelis to be boycotted to be protesting that right sure and then the Israelis to be protesting that, right? Sure. And then Trump wouldn't like, if they broke the law, well, you would also need the person who removing to be a foreigner, right? So you'd need like a- A green card, permanent resident. Okay, I don't know how green cards work.

I don't know what a green card does, but it doesn't sound like a permanent thing. It's permanent? I'm positive, yeah. This is a thing that I know because I work with so many. Are you a US citizen? No. No.

You're not a citizen. It's everything but voting. So, and are you afforded the same rights under the constitution as a non-US citizen? I don't think. Slash green card holder? I'm not positive. I don't think so.

That seems incredibly relevant at this moment. Well, I know, but I'm not a qualified attorney. I don't make it up. To me, that's the crux of the issue. Because we're talking about where this guy should be afforded these rights. His First Amendment right. And I'm saying I don't think he has a First Amendment right. I think there's a lot of people that don't and they don't get it. And that's why that it's so nice to be here and to be an American citizen. I don't know. I love it. I hope they disappear. Let him go. I don't care. I can't drill holes in his head with a power drill.

For all I care, I didn't like those protests. You burn up American flag and look, I'm not gonna prosecute you for doing it, but I'm not going to come try to bail you out when Marco Rubio disappears your ass. Yeah, I don't like burning American flags or like the ripping on America either at all. But I also don't like seeing like a lawful resident again, taking the task. What does that mean? What's a lawful resident does taken to task. What does that mean? What's a lawful resident does not have a first-minute right? Does he? Full rights and privileges, including voting, running for office. A US citizen has those.

Oh, I looked at that. Green card holder, permanent resident. Green card holders do have the same rights as citizens. By the way, undocumented immigrants have the same rights as citizens. I didn't know that. That's retarded. They have a second amendment, right? They can hold and bear arms?

No. What I'm reading is, every one of the United States is protected by the U.S. Constitution. This includes green card holders, visa holders, and undocumented immigrants. They got some of the people of rights. There's one more sentence.

Unlike citizens, green card holders are susceptible to be removed if they violate their status in the US. Now I did read that deporting him is legal. No one's arguing that the Trump administration doesn't have the right to deport him because you can deport a green card holder for any reason. But he does have a First Amendment right. So they're kind of doing it for no reason.

Yeah. You know. Un-American, organizing un-American, anti-American, hate-filled. It wasn't anti-American. I watched as it was. It was anti-Israeli. They burned American flags,

they're wearing those Palestinian flags as masks. It was anti- I'm a little torn as to whether we should hold him responsible for everything everyone did at the protest. Like, part of me sees where you're coming from. Like, I'm not. Part as to whether we should hold him responsible for everything everyone did at the protest. Like part of me sees where you're coming from. Like I'm not. Like Rupio does.

I'm not instinctively like just knee-jerk-ing orange man bad here. I'm like, you know, this does seem problematic that, you know, apparently this guy tried to organize a peaceful protest. I know I saw them stop Jewish people from walking to class, right? I hated it. I don't like it. I can't back that. But he didn't do that or want that. He was trying to organize something peaceful. And no one seems to argue with what I just said is true. I would. Yeah, well, I don't like the anti-American sentiment,

but like you kind of have to allow that a bit because- If you're saying- From American citizens, absolutely. But from Americans, I understand your distinction.com. If you're on any tentative ground as far as your American citizenship or your status here, if your rights can be drawn into question by the average American, which the three of us here, none of us really know, do they? What much rights do they have? Then maybe you don't run a protest, organize a protest that's anti-American, anti-your university,

and criminal in its very nature by denying all those people their education that they paid way too fucking much money for. And you know, just, I don't know what you call it when you kidnap a locale What did those people if I'm on rock if I walk into a Your establishment and I say I saw this the other day. It's about bank robberies Like you walk into a bank you hand them a note says give me all the money. That's three years That's Rob. That's bank robbery Yeah, three years for that. They can't you the money but while they're handing you the money if you say if they're going too slow And you say

Step aside they step aside and you reach and you grab the money you kidnap them in that moment when you directed them You kidnapped them you would just add it 20 now. It's 28 years. So I thought you were going I thought you're gonna say shut the door. No one can come or go. I had just added 20, now it's 28 years. It's not where I thought you were going. I thought you were gonna say, shut the door, no one can come or go. I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. I think like that's kidnapping. It's very obviously kidnapping, yeah. Right. That's what I would picture.

It's as minor as that, it becomes kidnapping. So I don't know what you call it when you kidnapped a university from people, but that's what they did. And look, if it was some liberal art student from San Diego and they were trying to disappear him, her it I'd I'll fucking protest with you. Fuck that shit. I don't know. You won't if that was well, I'll tweet something and I'll say it here and I'll be honest about it. If they catch some cat boy in San Diego, San Diego, that's like burning American

flags and they try to send his ass to get mo and he was born And raised here fuck that shit. He's an American dog boy. You leave him more likely to be from San Francisco Yeah, they would be from San Francisco. There's a lot of naval personnel in San Diego. Trust me. That's where the cat boy evil Okay I'll trust you. I'll take your word on it. I If you're in the Navy or any of the other armed forces, let us know the comment box. Where are the cat boys at in the, in the,

we all know they're in the coast guard. No, my, my guess is, get their hands dirty. Are you guys guessing air force? Something about me thinks I can, I'm picturing like someone in a mascot suit wearing like long leggings, like sitting there with an Xbox controller.

So I think there's a lot of that Navy's almost so stereotypical. Like I picture Navy gaze is like loud and proud. Not anymore, but formally perhaps still this administration. Yeah. You're not loud and proud anymore. Yeah. Keep that on the down low. They're still proud. We just, you know, keep it down.

Just keep it down. Just calm down a little bit, guys. You're fucking fruit around loudly. That's the slogan for Pride Month 2025. Keep it down. Yeah, calm down. Oh, dude, you see Women's Day came and went, of course, but France, the wonders that they are, they had this big Women's Day protest against fascism. And so they must've been like a hundred women, topless. I saw that. With Hitler mustache. I saw pictures. And they were like, I don't know, in French,

they were like, say no to fascists or something, but it sounds sexy in French. And they got the tits out. There was like, I would say most of them were attractive. I expected the majority to be unattractive. I would, there were some hogs. There were some. I saw some big old hogs.

There were some friends doing that thing where you pull your pants up like John Candy, like way up there. Now you're just like half a barrel. And it's like, shut up. I can see where your belly ends before your fucking pelvis. You're not fooling anyone.

I prefer that to the too low, right? Like men in particular will do that. They'll wear their pants really low and get that weird butt thing in the crack. And I think it's because if they lower their pants just a few inches, they can shrink them by a few inches. Just put it below the gut, but own it. Put it where it belongs.

I think the gut grows in different places on different men. I think their waist starts in different places so it can get weird, whether your pants can be around your waist. Well, if you get really fat, you start to just kind of take on your own novel shape. I was thinking suspenders too. Yeah, you get the suspenders, you go full Humpty Dumpty with it. All right, you just bite the bullet. It's genius. Listen to this man, Fatties. I used to work with this guy who was probably like 70 years old and he was a very short

guy but also in like very, very, very, very overweight. And he did that exact thing. 70 something. Yeah. Betty's gone now. He might be. Because this was like seven years ago. So I'll be guaranteed.

But like, I remember, cause he would always have his pants pulled up high and like his gut, you could see it hanging down into the front of his pants, that kind of gunt area. And occasionally he wouldn't wear the same like high rise pants. And he was a belt guy, never suspenders. And like, so he'd just be wearing like a polo and then I guess pants like jeans,

maybe like under his fat, his foot area. And you could see, like through the polo laying on him, the permanent indent, like in the flesh of where the belt was so tight for so many years. And I was like, holy shit. Like wake up call. Like, do you think that if you're like a size 54 belt, you're like, no way am I buying a 58? I'm not. Just final boss of denial. Yeah. He just made do with that belt. do with that belt that gave him a permanent indentation? Well, what I do is I use two 32 belts. And I attach them in the back.

Like zip ties. Like zip ties. Just buy five feet of rope, you lard ass. What's wrong with you? Yeah. I can't even believe they make belts in, what, 60? Just buy an extension cord. Yeah, I mean, 60 would be absurd.

Dude, I remember when I was a teenager I worked at Leon's men's store shelling selling shoes and like men's clothing and stuff and There I was like me and another employee I put on like the size 54 pants and I'm like Look at the way we could both fit in these and then a guy came to that part of the store where those were appropriate Was married with children popular at the time Yes. Yeah, did you ever think about how you were? What happened? Was Married with Children popular at the time? Yes, yeah. Did you ever think about how you were selling shoes like Al Bundy?

Oh, we all did, yeah. We were self-aware. But that's, Married with Children is a little bit lost to time. I don't know where to watch it, but I feel like it could get a new breath breath into it in this modern age if people discovered it because it's hilarious One of my co-workers he was like a grown-up like

Fully functional like adult living on his own. He was old Like to me wildly old maybe 50 And he used to be a mortician and now he's selling shoes with me and I always thought like how did you fall so far? Yeah And now he's selling shoes with me and I always thought like how did you fall so far? Yeah Cars I was 19 and there was a guy there who had failed at some sort of Wear a suit to the board meeting kind of job and he still kind of had the suit and the haircut But nothing else and it was like shit Like everybody else kind of seems like they've got it

They're either hustlers or fuck-ups in there like like that's that's how a lot of the guys There's hustlers and there's fuck-ups like like Peyton the guy that trained me was a hustler He made he made his ten or fifteen grand every fucking month and he didn't work hard doing it and he blew it all on strippers and whores and that was his move and then there was like fuck-ups in there. There was a guy with I guess Tourette's. He had like a lot of ticks like bad ones like he was he was moving around and clickety clackin and it was just it was bad. Everybody was enormous so you didn't want to make fun of him. He's like six six three hundred pounds. He's a giant man. He's the guy that almost beat me up one day because I you know, I'm 19 You got to keep in mind

I'm just out of high school and I'm in this work environment with these grown-ass men who probably are not happy to come to Work every day like me. I'm loving it every day. I come to work. I might sell a $75,000 vehicle I love me. I'm a grown-up. Oh, yeah me. I got a fucking tie on look at this shit I can't know what I it if I made it comes undone. I'm in trouble Every day and then yeah the next day I do for a while still do still do I don't know Can you tie a tie now? Uh-uh not I like a double Windsor I don't I don't like the basic simple like easy not I can only do that one. You don't like no I just do some metrical

One is asymmetrical it goes to one side with the double the double Windsor has this wide sort of like symmetrical look to it. I don't need some crazy like, uh, I get my mommy to tie my tie or my girlfriend or whoever. And then I never untie it. And I can, I know how to loosen it enough to then like, if it needs to be like straightened up and maybe made longer or whatever. But if it comes undone, there's a video on YouTube. I just use YouTube videos. Yeah, it couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. You couldn't figure it out. There was like, there's one where like the guy is like he has the camera

like looking down at the angle you would see. And that was that's the one I used like before meetings. I remember I remember spending like 30 minutes trying to do it the night before going to court one time and finally calling a girl Hey, what you doing? Want to come over? Great. Hey, I'm a total man child that I need I'll do like a reverse Udo on Kyle like hey I was just thinking about you You want to come over and you get there and there's like an Ikea nightstand

You owe me bitch Sink is leaking violently Right get on that. Um No, but I think I took again I was like 19 this guy's 40 something and like not happy to be there like me and he had a The ink pad that a stamp goes to because he okay we would stamp things often and we had stamps and I took the ink and I put it on his earpiece of his phone That's pretty funny and then I called him through the internal line from like 15

feet away. Oh my God. He didn't think it was funny, Woody. He didn't get it? The joke was lost on him entirely. He, he grown man yelled at me. That was your, that was your initial rain fly situation, wasn't it? Yeah, that was the first but not the last time that I was screamed at by a colleague for just being a habitual line stepper, I guess, as a 19-year-old man. I like to prank people. There's a lot of downtime. We had balloons in the showroom, you can imagine, and on Saturdays it was a big to-do the red white and blue blue balloons done everybody pitch in and we tie them and hang them everywhere I'd like to tie I'd get them

I get a balloon and I would tape it to the back of the bathroom door And then I put a staple on the wall and it's one of those bathrooms. It's got a real echo to it Okay. Yeah, it's a bad design for a bathroom because every shit sounds like a it. It's a bad design for a bathroom because every shit sounds like a disaster. But when you'd open the door, that balloon would explode like a gunshot next to your head. And I would do that to people all day long. I would do that to people all day long. I would fucking hate like the stage I am in life right now. If I had to work with your 19 year old prankster ass, I would fucking shit you. I was robbing the vending machine and shit. I was robbing the vending machine and shit.

I was robbing the vending machine and the general manager comes by. General manager is pointing at- Why did you do that? Just get it to fall in the- He just shakes it all the way. And I was like, wait a minute. And the thing starts turning, it's not locked.

And I'm like opening the entire front of the Pepsi machine like a big door, you know. and then there's all the sodas. They're 20 ounce bottles and I'm getting them. I'm stealing them actively in front of everyone. You can just take them from the top and no one knows. No, this is a put a dollar in, get a soda machine. I'm following, but I thought when you opened the door, they'd all be stacked vertically

and you just take the top six or something. I think there's like rows where it feeds it out. There's a mechanism where at the bottom you can slide them out and get them. But because he's left the machine unlocked, do you follow him? Yeah. I think it is not picturing it right,

but I can follow it. You've seen a soda machine outside of an establishment. You put money in a soda machine and get a soda out. It's one of those machines, he's left it unlocked. I've opened it completely and I'm robbing it of its contents. And I'm pilfering the pop. Like, openly robbing this thing in the middle of the day. And the general manager walks by. By the way, this is the middle of the showroom. I'm not hiding this. General manager walks by. This is the showroom. It's not even like the back of the... No, this is right in the front. Everybody's looking. And the general manager walks by. This is the showroom. It's not even like the back of the. No, this is right in the front.

Everybody's looking and the general manager walks by. He goes, Kyle, what the fuck? I'm like, he left it open. He's like, oh shit. He like did a little sneaky hop over, like he was in a cartoon and took like three from me and left, didn't give a fuck. Didn't give a fuck.

That guy was great. That guy was definitely a criminal, like outside of the car. So were you. Well, I was just stealing all that soda. 19 year old me, that guy was great. That guy was definitely a criminal, like outside of the car. Where were you? Well, I was stealing all that soda. 19 year old me, I needed my caffeine. I had to I had to put a good, good day's work in. I had to get amped up.

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out from there. If you're going for the protein powder, the vanilla and the cookies and cream are the two, but actually all of, I like all of them except the peanut butter. And that's not because the peanut butter is bad. It's because I have like the same artificial flavored peanut butter. There's something about it where it's not, it's like a, like an uncanny valley of peanut butter where I'm like, this isn't the flavor I was expecting. So I don't like it. I tried PB two for a while and it had the same problem. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Like, like artificial banana flavor. That's a much more extreme example, but like, you know why that tastes

that way. I feel like you've told me it's cause that's what bananas used to taste like because that is what bananas used to taste like before they all went extinct. Thank God they did. Terrible. And we started selling it and we started eating these bananas we got today that are like some cousin of the OG banana. Well what we have today are the good bananas. You know what else was a really good fruit invention are those mandarin oranges that you can just rip, rip, rip, get a whole one piece peel, and then you just have a delicious sweet snack. There's no way those just appeared out in nature.

We had to have scientists being like, make it easier to peel, make it even tastier, easier to peel. The pick and taste. I'm like a lemon tying guy, but I'm not sure I've tried mandarin oranges. And can- Sticky fingers aren't worth it.

Pretty similar. Sticky fingers. What do you mean? You just peel it. The only thing that happens is you get, like this happens more with like regular oranges. You eat it with your hands. You know those,

you get like orange under your fingernails when you peel an orange. You're eating an orange with a knife? Yeah, I use a knife and fork. How do you eat it? With your hands? You just rip it open. Nobody does that.

Yes, they do. That's the way our orangutan and simian forefathers did it and it's good enough for me. You're still eating oranges with your hands? They didn't even peel it. They just bit right in. They didn't mind that. You don't use a fork at all on your oranges?

No, no forks. I know Woody's joking, but I wouldn't put it past the aisle to do this. You just claw it like a barbarian. That's how you get it open. No. How do you wipe your ass? You just like scoot along the floor or something? I stand in front of a fan. And I just let it dry.

And then I peel it off like everyone else. Like dehydrated, like dehydrate the fruit leather. Dry enough, you can just twerk and it falls off on its own. Trust me. Oh, that sounds horrific. No, I don't like oranges enough to like peel them. Like I would have to be. I think they're a like peel them. I would have to be... I think they're a top tier fruit.

I would have to be on a desert island or something. You know who else is a top tier fruit? Elton John. Yeah. My favorite gay. Is he your favorite gay? He's my favorite gay. Love Elton John.

Oh. He's great. Sir Ian McKellen, my favorite gay. He's up there. I was going to say George Michael just because of the two songs. I'm still standing. Yeah, I'm still standing. That's my favorite gay. He's up there. I was gonna say George Michael, just because of the two songs. I'm still standing. Yeah, I'm still standing. That's my favorite.

And another one. Yeah. Yeah, Elton John top tier gay, Sir Ian McKellen top tier gay. If it like came out that like Wayne Gretzky was gay or something, yeah, I'd have to switch my top. No, he's MAGA, he's not gay.

The great ones. Yeah, well, no, the great one for another eight goals. And then Ovechkin seizes number one. Well, during the UN Secretary General thing in the oval, like, all right, first of all, like little background for anybody who doesn't know, Gretzky did some MAGA stuff. He wore the hat and got really a ton of backlash from his own graphic being Canadians and NHL fans just really been eating shit and hiding from everybody it's it's been kind of hard to see not that I care but

I don't like seeing people down like that I guess and especially he wants to separate himself from any witches he hadn't said anything and he wants to distance himself from the whole thing Trump and the Oval Office today with the UN Secretary General right there's like and and the great one, the great one, he loves me. He's up there in Canada and he'd love to be an American if we just came in there and took it over. And I know that Gretzky is just watching somewhere like, no, he's not watching, but somebody texted him, hey, the president's saying that you'd love it if like, he took over and he says that you love him and that you're the great one.

And when he said it wrong, he didn't say it the right way. Like the greatest great one or something like he fumbles over. Oh, he didn't get it right. Disrespectful. He never heard that phrase before. It's just like when he sat into the Tesla and he goes, it's computers everywhere. He clearly never been in one before. He calls it Tesla. He calls them Teslas. That's pretty funny. That's a very old person thing to do. Yeah, as southern old people think to add an R on to words like that, that doesn't belong. It's that's interesting. I, I, I saw him say that, and the make believe ad that I sent in. But I didn't know was real. I thought maybe they'd made him

say Tesla, but I believe it that's embarrassing You just kind of I just don't you don't have enough respect for Wayne Gretzky I'll say this I could do a ten times better walk around on that fucking car than Trump could a Trump can't sell a car Ladies, I had it's made of steel. It's it's heavy and strong and I'm like, what are you doing? What do you say those words? I didn't catch that part. I'm paraphrasing but but yeah, yeah heavy and strong and I'm like, what are you doing? What are you selling right now? Did he say those words? I didn't catch that part. I'm paraphrasing, but yeah. Yeah, he said- Heavy and strong.

I'm almost positive he said the words. Yeah, I think he said those exact words. I don't think it's made of steel. The cyber truck is. Oh, okay, okay. I was picturing one of the others. Yeah, I would imagine the body, they're made of steel too.

You're probably right. You know, like the body panels and stuff like like obviously there's tons of plastic on a modern car But but the you know the doors and all that that that's all steel steel and aluminum Yeah, aluminum is expensive. So anywhere that they can they're gonna use steel and anywhere they can Can other than steel they're gonna use plastic so The F-150 is all aluminum and then- The doors? All of it. And then Chevy like ripped on the F-150 for a long time. And most of their digging had to do with the bed.

If you say throw a toolbox from some distance and the corner lands in a Ford's bed, it kind of pokes a hole in it unless you have a bed liner of some sort. So when Chevy switched to aluminum, I think everything that moves is aluminum and everything that stays there like the bed or the roof is steel.

I think if that's not perfect, it's real close. You're muted. You are muted, sir. Yeah, I was kind of looking into it. I'm seeing that. That's really interesting. It was for fuel economy. Of course. Yeah.

It's a lot of money. Is everybody... This will blow over for old Gretzky. He can't be getting that much hate. It's pretty rough. You know how Canadians are. They've only had the one hero, though. I don't know what you're going to do now.

Wayne Gretzky. How could you? What's your number two fallback hero if you're a Canadian? Me it's GSP, but that's my bubble. That's a small bubble and I'm in it. I mean probably Sydney Crosby Harley, you know, you ever see the movie tusk, you know Yeah, I've seen tusk and I fucking hated it. It's awful. I just want to see the part where Harley's in and then I'll watch the rest. I don't even remember Harley being. I think he's the ticket guy at the airport. Like the welcome to Canada.

I didn't know it was in. Okay. Well, I, okay. Tusk is great. I especially the ticket buying part. Giant Jew giving out tickets. Love that guy. He's really old. We've never asked him, remind, remember to ask him about that next time he's on. Cause I want to know if he got to meet, I think Kevin Smith directed that and it's got, it's got a, I can't think of the main actor.

It's escaping me, but he's a, he's a big deal actor. Justin Long. Justin Long, yeah. My brother-in-law was childhood friends with Kevin Smith on to some amount. He was one of those guys who for a long time was like, no one will know how fat I am if I wear an oilers jersey to the bank. And it's like, no, that's just drawing so much attention to it. Like, don't do that. Wear a suit. Like fat people aren't crazy fat, wear a suit all the time, and you can kind of box yourself in and look more top heavy and powerful than you do fat.

But in an Edmonton Oilers jersey, like pumping gas, looking like a fat idiot, someone, he didn't have enough close friends to shut that down. I'm okay with it. He was trying to do some kind of like 90s grunge thing with the jeans too. He had these giant jinkos like he really helped hid his body shape forever. But I just kind of respected him because when he made Clerks 1, you know he maxed his credit cards out to make that movie. Like he leveraged everything he had. He shot his shot at the moon. He burnt the boats as they say. And he did it. And from there it was just one thing after another.

He tells a great story, you may have heard it, about being called in to look at the script for Superman Lives by Warner Brothers. Wonderful story, if you haven't heard it, let him tell it to you. Look it up on YouTube, hilarious shit. It gives you some idea into the inner workings of like the studio system, I guess.

Even like the major studio system and the biggest of projects, how silly it can be. So I always liked Kevin Smith because of that. Although like, I don't know about all those movies. I think Kevin Smith is a highly regarded writer and he's particularly knowledgeable about all the lore and background to comic stuff. So they asked him to look at Superman.

And it's not relevant to the story, but he's especially good at dialogue. I guess dialogue writing is a little different than the others and they wanted him to look at the Superman script and beyond that, I won't ruin the story. You should hear it from him. I can't be justice.

Yeah. Yeah, but he's a Jersey guy, right? And in like with him came like Matt Damon and, um, Affleck and, uh, and a few other like, like smaller, uh, like, like people in those movies, like, what was it searching for Amy or something, something like chasing Amy, chasing Amy. And then there was one in a mall that may have been the one in the mall. I've seen a mall with that's Small rats. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah No, yeah, I like Kevin Smith. I like his movies There's some commonality between them sometimes but I just got a real I like I'll appeal to them sort of a grounded in reality kind of thing for the most part

I think he might have done dogma to though you ever see dogma it's got Matt your mid and Ben Affleck Chris Rock and a Carlin's in it basically Matt basically Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are angels of God and they are like killing people on earth going on this crazy psycho mission and Chris Rock is the last descendant of Jesus Christ. So they've recruited him on their mission to like stop the angels from, I don't know,

destroying the world or whatever. You said, Carlin, the comedian? I'm almost positive he's in it. Yeah, he might play God or something. I haven't seen it in a long time. Hmm. I feel like I haven't seen a Kevin Smith movie in a while. I know I haven't. I know I haven't feel like I haven't seen a Kevin Smith movie in a while. I know I haven't. I know I haven't. We played Ballersgate.

I think we're like 50 hours into our little dual playthrough. I'm having so much fun. What percentage on it? How far in are you? We're halfway. We're halfway for sure. Yeah. It's fun to play with another person. I think it'll be fun to play with four people. If they all knew what they were doing, so it didn't slow the game down. But I wish they were making a fourth game, but they say they're they're not I think they're working on another project. That's that makes me sad. Although they're releasing a patch eight, which is basically a free DLC, which is cool. I Like studios that do stuff like that Everybody seems to be milking and milking every last dollar out of the consumer but larian is just like oh, yeah We're gonna add some more and it's all for free. They're not you know, there's not DLC There's adding new classes and adding new I think a lot of them. I was gonna say that's like fromsoft. They don't have a store of micro transactions and then you're like free dlc and i'm like oh we can't hang

with that. That was never promised. They you know it was it was never promised that there would be uh any dlc. They even said there wasn't going to be uh dlc. There was talk about an expansion i think like a big expansion, and they put the kibosh or threw cold water on that for whatever reason. Everybody was very sad. The only thing I've seen that they do besides sell video games is you can buy an owl bear beanie hat on their launcher. That's the most money-hoary thing they do. FromSoft under-promises and over-delivers, which you'd think it'd be great. For example, they said the DLC will be as big as Limgrave. If you don't know the game, that means you could run

from one side to the other in like seven to eight minutes. Okay. It takes an hour. And I'm like, you know, there's under promising and then there's misinforming. I don't know what- What game is this that takes an hour to run across the map. Oh, they promise seven minutes and it takes eight hours.

One hour. No, this is to run across the map. Like if hypothetically you weren't playing the game, you just wanted to measure the map size, it would take an hour on your horse to get to the other side. And they said it would just, you know, the size of limb grape,

which would take like seven or eight minutes. And I'm like, I just, I don't even know. When you guys say they'll never be an Elden Ring follow-up, and then there is, when you say that the thing is going to be seven minutes long to run, not to play, and it's an hour, I'm like, I just don't believe anything you said. It's so wildly untrue. Are you disappointed that it was so much bigger?

Or is that like a selling point? Like, hey, look at how much more content we're getting. It sounds like you got 10 times more content than you were probably. Are you disappointed that it was so much bigger? Or is that like a selling point? Like, hey, look at how much more content we're getting. It sounds like you got 10 times more content than you were buying. If it's actually content and not like wandering through desolate wastelands with like a nice looking tree every so often.

It's a little bit desolate wasteland-y. I could take way too long to explain this, but there are power-ups in the game that you need to go and collect. So you find yourself like running around then going back to the beginning and then playing to get the power-ups so that you're not helpless at the mercy of these bad guys.

And the first time you do it, it's like, this is amazing, look at this, look how incredible this is. The 20th time you do it, you're like- Is there no fast travel? You have to unlock it. So this fast travel after you've been there. Oh, that's, that's, that's how ball is.

That's how siren is there comes a point in Baldur's gate where it's like, all right, now we're going to fast travel to moonrise towers. And it's like five minute walk. Boom. We're here. All right, grab that. Now we're going to fast travel to the underdark 10 minute walk. Boom.

We're there. And like by doing that, we can very quickly make some shit happen. I like that in games. I can imagine, I would like a game mode where there was no fast travel, like an extra hardcore mode to say you did that, because you grind it out every step. You didn't magically get safe travel

between point A and point B at the snap of a finger. You had to grind it out and walk every step of the way. I just but Aldous gate have a map. Yeah, there are three acts in each. You know, you press M and a big map, but it's black until you discover it. And that works. So Elden Ring is a map. But the other from soft games,

Sekiro that I'm playing now, Dark Souls 3, there's no map. They exist online, but you can't pull it up and see where you are and like, make a dot on it and go to that dot. That's not part of the game. I need a map so bad. And like chat is talking to each other while I'm playing. And I need chat to tell me where to go because I'm constantly lost. And people are like to tell me where to go because I'm constantly lost. And people are like, what are you doing? You're ruining his playthrough.

And they're like, no, he needs our help. And chat is like, no, what about the surprise and whatever? They said, some guy wrote, I have seen Woody spawn at the bonfire, die next to the bonfire, wake up in the same spot lost. And I'm like, you sound like that. That sounds right.

I was hoping that- I was hoping that- I empathize with that because there are times in games where I'm like, what you want me to do right now is so gay and it's taking forever. And I bought this game. Like, is there,

like how do I just get through this quickly? How do I get through this tedium so I can get back to the core of what I like my my girlfriend is playing Fallout 4 she's been going through a big playthrough on that and I guess that Kyle have you played all the DLCs? There's a shit ton of DLCs. Okay, and so one of the DLCs far harbor. There's like a stage Oh, is it? She just randomly went off and started doing that one. If you take a poll, it'd get 90% of the votes, best one. Okay, well, it's like you're on this island

with a bunch of toxic fog and she hasn't done a ton of it, but there's like this synth, which is like a robot, and you're trying to recover his memories. Oh. And there's a whole period where it's like, hey, you know how you've been grinding up power armor and you've been doing this and doing that and all these fun things.

And she's finally got gun nut four and she's got the cool snipers and everything. And then it's like, forget all that. Now you're gonna go into this synths memory banks and you're gonna move blocks around to redirect light beams so that you can undo firewalls. I'm a bit of an expert.

And literally like it wasn't that like I'm not paying that much attention always while she's playing, but multiple game sessions in a row, you know, she'll come over and play for an hour or so. No, no, no. I mean, she's like getting bored. She's like, this is so boring compared to the Dima mind puzzle. She finished the mind puzzle now, but like there were like, she like literally fell asleep playing it.

And it was like not at a time where she would normally fall asleep. She was so bored. She was doing the Dima mind puzzle or just playing the game? Doing the Dima mind puzzle. She's loving the game out of the mind puzzle because it takes out all the fallout bits that are fun. You leave fallout and you, the world, and you go into a virtual world

that looks a bit like Minecraft. There are blocks and you manipulate them with brand new mechanics that haven't been introduced or used anywhere else in any Bethesda game, even ever before. I'm good at it. I knock it out in five minutes. I've done it a bunch of times.

I also, when I play on PC use a mod turns it off. You don't even fucking do it because it is such bullshit. There are no redeeming qualities. There's no fun to it. It's tedium. It's a puzzle inside of his brain. That's just that's just to move the fucking story along. It's not even like it's awful. It's not knows it's awful. For that you want to like pull up a YouTube video and just do it for her. I kept telling her because like I would be watching some, watching like an Age of Empires tournament

on my laptop next to her and she's like, and I'm like, just watch a YouTube video. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. And she's like, no, I wanna figure it out on my own. And I'm like, no, you don't because you'll stay up till two in the morning on work nights sometimes just being like, I just, I just got to get to the next level. I just need to get gun nut for because then maybe I can get my 50 cal to be even

stronger and then like you're you're falling asleep at 840 playing the Dima thing after 25 minutes enjoyed that. But my problem with that in particular isn't that it's hard. It's that there's no redeeming quality. It's not a big part of the game. Like by completing that puzzle, you don't like get the sword of destiny or some shit and then slay the dragon. It's just a little side thing to move the story along. And it's nothing like Fallout gameplay.

It has nothing to do with ranking your character up or how you've suited your character or like the RPG elements that you're playing by. That is good. That's the worst. That is the worst of the worst. And it's all out there. And she was supposed to get, she was like, I wanna do this and finish it so I can get this armor. I saw online that you're supposed to get a good armor. And then she gets the armor and it's still worse

than the machinist's armor. You would know better than me that the mechanist's armor. That is a bad DLC. Yeah. Oh, our Harbor is, you were joking, than me the mechanists armor that is a bad DLC yeah Oh our harbor is you were joking it's the worst one no far harbors a good one the mechanist is a as a as another DLC they have basically it creates oh that's where you get that goofy like full metal armor and it has like the two spines on the top I had to play that part, that final boss part where he just keeps sending out robots and fighting. I had to do that for her because she's never really played an FPS

before. And so she was getting very annoyed. I died a couple of times there. I played that maybe four or five months ago and I remember dying a couple of times there. It's a hard part. Is she a pretty good gamer in general, Taylor? No, like brand new to it. Like she had never Like I really just like gave her heroin because she had never played video games She I was like playing aoe or something and i'm like, you know, if you want to play, you know skyrim or something While i'm playing this like we can you know, you could do that and she's like, oh i've never played skyrim before What is it? I'm like, oh, it's like a full open world RPG, a role playing game. And you make a character and everything.

You talk to everything. And there was like a three month period where all she wanted to do. She'd come over and just want to play Skyrim. She grinded two characters to level eight. She calls you at 11 at night and then walks past you. She had the time where she was like, Taylor, I, you know, you know, I love hanging out here on weeknights and we're, you know, spending time together and everything. But uh, I've been like taking a 10 milligram edible and then playing Skyrim until like three in the morning.

Like I'm going to work late. Like I got it. I can't do this anymore. And I'm like, all right. And she's like, you know what? I think I'll, I'm just going to cut out the edible part this anymore. And I'm like, all right. And she's like, you know what? I think I'll I'm just going to cut out the edible part of it. And I'm still going to pilot to you can't be doing that. She's a yeah, she's a.

They're cracking down on that. Guys, Kyle's joking. She's just a surgeon. Yes, she had no experience. She had no experience in gaming at all. And then she started playing Skyrim and she was like, this is the most incredible thing I've ever played. Like this is unbelievable.

And then like she would find new cities and be like, there's a whole other city. And I'm like, yeah, there's also an island off the coast called Solstheim that you can't even see on this map. There's an underground layer with the coast called Solstheim that you can't even see on this map. There's an underground layer with the Dwegar or whatever down there. I didn't find the Dwegar. I didn't find them my first playthrough. Of being me is you get to experience that again and again. I'll be like, honey, check it out. Plain Eldering. We've never been here before. And she's like, yes, you have. That's your favorite weapon. Like, oh, you're right. You're right.

When you're right, you're right. Okay. That's where you get the magma warm weapon. Okay. You're right. I had her try in Age of Empires two for a while, which she really enjoyed, but more in like the base building kind of thing, like less of the aggressive fighting. I recommend Bioshock or.

Oh, that's a good call. Or if she likes puzzles and she like really wants to be challenged, scorn. She likes the grind. Like she loved ranking up her her skill points in Skyrim. She's having fun with like the tech tree parts of fallout skate from Tarkov is a game Don't tell her there are maps Yeah, you know what she might like Minecraft it's popular for girls and

You can kind of like learn to play and build it up and it's a survival game at first and then after a while you're really thriving and it's sort of a Thrival game. If I were 20 years younger, I would have been all about Minecraft. I just, I missed it. Like I wasn't in the right place at the right time for it but I can see how kids are still addicted to it.

It would be so satisfying. It looks like a different game now. Like I saw some recent stuff and it still doesn't appeal to me because it's just not my thing but I recognize several generational leaps forward and what that gameplay looks like and just what the world looks like and then there's very varieties now like there's a What is a collection of islands called Taylor an archipelago? How close did I guess? Yeah, they get it. Okay There's an archipelago version now where like, you know, I was watching some guy play. I didn't really understand it completely He's like I need to make an iron bucket to do this And i'm like and well, no he had to like find the recipe for like unlock iron buckets

Which is very easy for in normal minecraft. Anyway unlock iron buckets, which is very easy for in normal Minecraft. Anyway, it's like a achievement based unlock as you go type thing as opposed to just regular Minecraft. Anyway, Minecraft's a lot different than it was 10 years ago. Yeah. And yeah, that main dude,

do you think that main guy, Notch invented it, right? Yeah. Or do you think he regrets selling Minecraft? Cause that was like his baby? I bet he doesn't. And I bet, see like with so many businesses, you start off saying, I love computers. I'm gonna help attorneys set up small networks

in their offices. And then that's not your job after a while. Now your job is to manage a bunch of people that do your your job after a while. Now your job is to manage a bunch of people that do your old job. And you know, friend of the show is an electrician. Dude's not pulling wires anymore, right? The dude's running a business, that's his job now. I bet you Notch who programmed the thing originally

became a manager, some sort of visionary, you know, it was dealing with fucking accounts receivable all the time. It wasn't the part of the job that he loved. It's my bet. Yeah. Okay, that's fair. Yeah. I was going to say, I was going to share something, but then I realized I should keep it to myself.

That is nice, isn't it? That's a good attribute in a person. I'm real good at it. I, I, I. You are. I'm better at it than I once was. Yes. Margin it. You are. I'm better at it than I once was. Yes, marginally. You are.

You are. I mean, no, nowhere to go but up. I cut myself off at the pass. Like, it'd be like, oh, yeah, I don't need to know that. I won't even ask. Oh, yeah, you're a secret alcoholic, right? Kyle, you're the secret alcoholic, right? Kyle, you're the only guy I've ever met with whose social has three numbers in a row that are the same. That's so weird.

This guy. Yeah. Um, uh, the algorithm on Twitter, I don't know why. Maybe it's cause I'm stopping and watching these videos too long indignantly, The algorithm on Twitter, I don't know why, maybe it's because I'm stopping and watching these videos too long indignantly, but I'm getting so much third world street food, I hate it. It's like, it'll be like Bangladesh, and it's not even all from the same angle.

Sometimes it'll be some guy from like Nigeria being like, it is disgusting what these Somalis would eat. Look at this. And they said that they can come live here, not in my, no chance to me. And like, it's just him ripping on that. And then other ones will be like, I am so proud to be Bangladeshi.

We have such tasty food. And it's like a guy literally slopping out orange goo onto pieces of plastic laid on the ground, on the dirt. And he's just like, they're eating it off of plastic. It's, I hate third world street food. It makes me appreciate our first world street food so much better. Like you can go to a taco truck

or like a little barbecue food truck and be like, oh, I wonder what the cleanliness is like in there. And then you watch one of these videos and you're like, man, I'm fucking thankful for the food we have here. Like there's no way those those, you know, Venezuelans in that taco truck are like aggressively like using their fingers to touch all the tomatoes. Because that's something that I see in Indian street food. There's no reason to touch it. And the guy's like spinning,

he's stirring like salsa or soup with his hand, with his hand. And he lives in India. It's awful. I've been seeing videos of guys running street, they're street vendors, but they're frying stuff and they don't use a utensil. They use their bare hands in the boiling oil.

Yes, I saw that guy. He was like breaking the egg yolk with his fingertips when he had a spatula. They like like like I don't mean they like tap the oil or they like reach him real quick and grab like a doughnut out. I mean, they like actively like use their hand like a utensil like like waving the oil around. Like this one. Right.

This one right here i think that was instant degloving it i think that he's done that he's been doing this his whole life and his hand is like a big callus yeah this is this the one you were exactly thinking about kyle it's not i have seen this one recently this is nothing frankly the guy i saw you see what he's doing with his with that utensil the way's like, my guy does that with his hand. Do you see how he fries the oil? And like splashes the oil, and like there's something frying in the oil,

and he's moving it around in the oil to keep it like evenly cooking with his hand. Like he's frying up some hush puppies, and he's like kicking them around in there with his bare fucking hand. What do you think the heat source is for that giant pan? If you guys didn't see the video, it's like a five foot pan.

Yeah, I mean, I would guess like a propane tank or something, I have no idea. Yeah. I'm hoping it's a fire. They've got like those, the way that people get cooking gas around the world is really interesting I saw in Africa they do this thing where they they walk to the gas

station and they have a large inflatable plastic tube and they fill up the plastic tube with natural gas and then they carry it home and then they like stick a hose in it with a rubber band and that powers the fucking oven for like days I couldn't think of anything more dangerous. Dude, like a dangerous street vendor thing. This was I'm trying to find maybe it was Kenya. Yeah, Kenya. There was Oh, what the hell? I was going to break it down. Let's go That's a banger we're just trying all sorts of different angles Music if you don't know that

We're getting a lot of very loud music, but that is but push but push by They got the hardest hands in the East just burned to a crisp. There was, I saw something else that in Kenya before you go, was that India by chance? That was Pakistan, I believe, which is like only ask because of the paper.

Yeah, they would disagree with tomato, tomato, but to us in the West, it's like India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, a jillion people. All easily. I'm like, you don't use toilet paper in India. So that's wild, but probably sterilized with that job. They using his right hand in the oil, not his left.

The left is the shit hand. I saw something real. I saw a US army. I bet if I wiped with my left hand, I wouldn't be as thorough. I'm like imagining ripping the toilet paper off there. Toilet paper? I'm sorry. You think they use toilet paper, you sweet summer child?

You're right. Yeah. I'm not joking. You're going to do fine. Yeah, you're right. I know they don't. OK, you'll figure it out. Yeah. All right. Got a bunch that time. Did you know that there's oil in the electric transformers? Yeah, no. And that there's an issue apparently in Kenya that some ruffians are like stealing those, draining the oil and then like making food in transformer

oil and selling it to people. Like, try my fried chicken. And it's like, oh, this is awful and I feel sick. What's it from? And they're like, I don't know. Is that why they smoke when they get when they burn out? It's mineral oil that you can't cook. It's just like, you know how they cool, they can have like a

mineral oil around like a PC parts. Like, like, like it's, I think they're cooling the transformer with it or something. You can't allow them to cook with it, right? Why do you say they can't do it? What kind of rule did you make up? Well, I will admit, I don't know where mineral oil comes from but it sounds like it comes from minerals Then that makes no sense at all to me because I think of minerals is like rocks or granules of rock I saw somebody making oil out of like some nuts the other day and they just sort of like grind them and then the oil Just drips out so I don't know where mineral oil comes from but I don't think of it as a food grade oil I don't know how tracking works, but they also get oil from rocks. Fracking is fun. I saw Jeremy Clarkson was getting not exactly fracking done on his land but he's got that farm you know and they... Clarkson's farm that's a good show. Yeah like they drill down

into the slate and then they under very high pressure they inject water to like open up the cracks in the stone and allow, and then in those cracks while they're expanded by the high pressure water, they inject seaweed. And the seaweed goes in the cracks and keeps them open, at least open long enough for the water to start flowing through the cracks and now forever there will now be water flowing through those cracks. And they were like fixing his drainage problem on his land. And they had this ridiculous machine. It reminded me remember the very beginning of Jurassic Park one when they've got that machine that does the ground radar.

Yes. It's got a shotgun shell and it goes like into the ground. They were doing that and sort of it was like a mini fracking device for his farm that they were using there. That's a have you watched Clarkson's farm? Not a bit. I never watched an episode of their car show, whatever that was called. Top Gear. And there were very good, I only liked the ones where they would go on missions. Those were very

good. But the one who didn't like it. What I liked about Clarkson's farm, which I think is on Amazon, because I've watched it. And so it's gotta be on one of like Hulu or Amazon, one of those services. And I never think about like farmer, salt of the earth, like redneck people

from other countries the same way. Like, especially with like the UK. Like I think of that country just so posh and like the way they talk and everything. I just, I don't think of them that way. And so like when Clark, Jeremy Clarkson is doing his farm, he basically has this like young guy, like probably early twenties, who's like a generational farmer, like, you know, wearing the boots, doing all the stuff, assisting him with it, and hearing him like say farmer shit in a British accent is so jarring and weird.

Where he's like, why are you fucking fool then? You're gonna leave the pigs out in the middle of spring with all these, with all these edibles here. They're gonna root up your entire field, mate. And it's like, damn, I wouldn't have thought like thought like he shouldn't he shouldn't sound like that he should differently but that's their propaganda they did a great job of putting forward that image of themselves as the posh aristocratic well-spoken and so like when you do a British accent I heard a British I think I heard Tom Holland or

someone talking about this they asked no Christian Bale they asked him how he was so good at the American accent while Americans are often so poor He's like the American and his accent is gross. He's got his real accent is like a street British accent He's like American people think we all said it. Oh, what do you bother? Yes, sir. This is not we haven't sounded like that in hundreds of years, right? His voice is all gravelly and gross for real, but he's the guy they do our accent Boy, I like playing Batman in it Yeah, he sounds more like Alfred should sound than than what Bruce Wayne should sound in RL But they're really good at doing our accent Tom Holland

It does it so well. I mean he's fucking spider-man. It's a little bit of a travesty. All right, Laurie, I didn't know he had I didn't know he was British for five, six years. Yeah, he's very good at it. I wonder if the American accent is just it's because they're exposed to our media from from very young and they're not just exposed to it like like they have access overwhelmed with it. You know, we've seen the best BBC has to offer like all both of those shows. Yeah, but they've been just inculcated, just wrapped up in our, our media. We make bombs, like, like bomb bombs and, uh, and movies like, like, like we're killing it, the culture war and the real war.

Like, like those are our strong suits, I think, as a culture. Oh, I had this written down to talk about this past weekend. I was in Kansas City with my brothers and a bunch of our friends from college had a big get together thing. And my brother told me we're going to go golfing. And so like in my little backpack, I like brought khakis and like a pullover polo shirt. I thought it was going to be outside. And then like, I'm already at my brother's house in Kansas city and he's like, Oh yeah,

tomorrow morning we're going to go to golf X or X golf. And I'm like, Oh, okay. And it is a like golf simulator thing. Exactly like remember that clip we watched on PK and maybe that guy from Barstool who was doing the like trying to get the and it was like that. Yeah, it was like that quality of golf simulator. And I'm telling you, awesome. It was so fun.

It gamified the whole thing. When you drive. First of all, it was sick where you walk up there, you use your club to hit a button. None of that pesky bending that you see golfers have to do to put the ball on the tee or to put it somewhere. It has this like custom pad where you just walk up there, use your club to hit a button and then a little like underground silo pushes the ball up, rolls it onto a tee,

pushes the tee up. And then if you don't need to drive it like on a tee, you just tap it and it falls back onto this grass that you hit from normally. And as you hit it, it's like, like Dave and Buster's like on the screen, you see like the 10 yards, 20 yards, 30 yards, 40 yards, 50. Like it's like ticking up the whole way, giving you cheers and jeers. And it was awesome. I felt like it was the most fun I've ever had golfing. And it made me feel like I was pretty good at it too, because I was cranking it and they were going, most of my drives were going like 260 yards, which for me, someone who doesn't golf ever is solid. And like I would, every once in a while, I'd get like a really good shot.

And we would actually, our group of four, we had four bays. There were like 16 of us, four in each, but they're all close. So we could still chit chat. And like, it was, it was fun to get all the excitement of golfing, but also gamified and also have the little internal like self competition of being like, all right, I drove the last one 267 yards. Can I hit 270 yards on this one? Like, can I, can I hit it further? I must've like been doing it with bad form because I had a lot of, uh, outer left, uh, pack strain afterward. I think I was like

cranking it way too hard with bad form, but you guys, I know you're not golfers. If you ever get the chance to do a golf simulator, you will have fun with it. Like you will enjoy it after just a little bit. I know, do either of you even know how to swing a golf club? Like even vaguely correctly? Masterfully.

Yes. I took lessons for years. Okay, well then if you can, even a bit, I'm not good would you would have fun What is it called when your follow through is too low like it tends to be more flat than over my shoulder? Is there a term? I don't know the term. I know the Slices if it if when you hit the ball and it spins out to the left Mm-hmm. I think it's called a slice and if you hit the ball and it spins out to the right

It's called a hook and that's about all I know about golf. I don't, you would think that like, everyone has enough body control that they can swing a golf club and look kind of like a pro golfer. But my follow through was like to the side, it wasn't up high like it was supposed to be. And I'm like, oh, all right, I can see what I did.

I'll just not do that next time. Do it again and again and again. And I'm like, oh, all right, I can see what I did. I'll just not do that next time. Do it again and again and again. And I'm like, what is happening here? Like I, to me, it's like being unable to touch your nose or something. Like why is my swing wrong? But it was. You just need like one guy around

who will look at you swing and then be like, hey, your left arm isn't straight. Keep your left arm straight. And then you'll do it again. And it'll be like, oh, okay. arm isn't straight, keep your left arm straight. And then you'll do it again. And it'll be like, Oh, okay. Because that's what happens to me, where I don't know what to do. And I do it wrong. And then so they give me they obviously probably see a million things wrong with my swing, but they just give me the big one. And then once I like kind of focus on the big one, like, okay, yeah, my left arm has been bending. That's why it's like jerking up here. I've had

that with weightlifting, where you know, a guy will look at your squat or something and be like, okay, yeah, my left arm has been bending. That's why it's like jerking up here. I've had that with weight lifting, where a guy will look at your squat or something and be like, oh, keep your chin up. Or they call it a prompt. Pretend there's a bar on your back or something like that, like vertically. And with that prompt, suddenly your form is right. And it's like, you're a magician.

Hey. Look at this thing, Woody. The bottom one? Yeah, I would ask Taylor if the the top link was the knee was better or worse than the thing He played on because that one's about four grand. I think oh Wait, it was way nicer than this. Okay. I've got yeah because it had a it had like a putting section to Where you just kind of rolled the ball onto this little indent and then you would putt forward. The way it worked is like you could set your angle to like tell you where to like what

direction it was going to go if you hit it straight. And my brothers are both way more into golf than me. And so I didn't change the angle once they just watched me swing and they were behind me. All right, I'll set Taylor's angle. All right, so the last one I sent you was $4,000. This one I think is $40,000. There's a small step up in quality.

The screen was bigger than this and the platform was better. Like it was unbelievably high quality. It was nice. It was a huge screen. It was just so much fun. When you was a story. It didn't sound like it's measurement of you was fully accurate. Like you seem to say that you were hitting it farther simulated than IRL.

Uh, I don't know because I've like, I've hit drives really far before, like in person, like with my brothers around around but like everyone I was golfing with seemed to be like Jesus Christ did Taylor just hit it 270 yards golf don't do that and maybe it's maybe it's goose in me a little bit it would it's definitely gonna take into account the angle of the ball and the speed right and then do math like there's no way it's like just saying, ah, he's six one one, he probably hits it hard.

But I wonder if you can measure what's gonna happen in the three feet it traveled. I'm making it three feet, but you know. Yeah, it probably went like 10 feet total before it hit the thing. But after we finished the 18 holes, we still had a little extra time and so I was done. I was like, I'm golfed out,

but my brothers set it up again. There was like a practice mode and you could hit it, like drive it. And then like all these metrics would come on the bottom and it would be like club head speed, ball speed, spin degree, rotation. And it was, it was so specific. It was pretty cool.

They do that for MLB on the fly. So that I don't know where that tech came from, but they're able to give you the spin rate and a number of other things on the fly in MLB. So that makes sense. That means it's going to be real close. Like, you might have an aberration, right? Where it's it, I hit it 400 yards.

What are you talking about? But it sounds like it was saying 260, 270. Yeah. It was pretty close. End 260, 270. Do you mean? It was pretty close. Opposite end of the spectrum. Have you guys ever done like Wii bowling? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Okay, right.

So I'm doing Wii bowling at a friend's house. I don't know anything about this and I'm bowling and I'm putting spin on it and it's like working. And I'm like, this is kind of dope. Like getting recognized that I went for the spin instead of straight down the middle. I'm like, this thing's amazing. And then the guy's kid comes up, he takes the controller and he just smacks it in

his palm and it does basically the same thing that I did. And I'm like, that fuck this, this has nothing to do with what I did. I thought I was a good bowler. You were like lining up. It just goes, no, he doesn't even smile or anything. The kids like grumpy and then it bowls. And I'm like, all right, fuck this. This is so sad.

That's upsetting. Have you ever- It was more sophisticated than that. But you guys, if you ever get a random chance, someone invites you to a golf simulator thing and you're thinking golf sucks, I'm not into that, you will have a fun time. It's so game of fun.

Are there simulators you can just go to like rent? Like Topgolf or something? Yeah, you can just rent. Topgolf, I don't think they have simulators. I think you just hit out into their big open area. That's the more fun thing to do, right? This was like a simulator place. Which would you prefer to do though?

Topgolf or the simulator? I've never done Topgolf, so I don't know if it has those same kind of fun analytics. Not at all. You're driving. Okay well then then the simulator would be more fun because it was neat to see. The one I went to didn't have any analytics but it's been like eight years so maybe they added some gamification which would be smart. Like at Topgolf you should have a readout near you so your buddies can drink beers

behind you and be like ah 320. Like that's such a big part of what would make me buy another round of your service. Something that made me trust their measurements on like the drive distance and whatnot a little more was that like the stack ranking of people I saw golfing was what I would expect. was driving over 300 yards very easily. And my younger brother, the middle brother, also an excellent golfer, he was hitting over 300 a couple of times. And then like, so like, and I would see other people in the other booths doing that. And so it wasn't like, I was never going to hit a 400 yard drive. Like it wasn't going to happen. I could have been, I could be there still today, five days in or whatever. And it wouldn't matter. You need that Rodney Dangerfield club. That's just a cannon that just I think he had one like that, you know in caddy check to I think that's not Rodney Dangerfield

That's a that's a shit show, but I think he also had trick clubs, but Dangerfield had like a boom box in his bag I think he had he had a beer tap and cups and he had a putter that did like some sort of Some sort of crazy shit and putted for him it like showed him a laser of where to put I think he had a driver That had a shotgun in it or something. Have you seen what kind of driver it was and he said 12 gauge maybe What have you seen the YouTube channel stuff made here? No He does this in real life Have you seen the YouTube channel Stuff Made Here? No, haven't. He does this in real life. It's pretty cool.

Like he has a wife who always like pooh-poos it. It's kind of for the camera. Like she puts it down. So now he like plays pranks on her or he'll bet. He made a basketball hoop we can't miss. And what happens is you shoot it. I've seen that. It quickly observes the arc of the ball

and moves the net to where it needs to be. And it goes in every time. He has an archery thing he can't miss. He made the world record for the longest baseball ever hit. He has three shotgun shells in the bat. And on contact, this little metal section of the bat expands and hits the ball harder than any human could.

And anyway, he's got a bunch of things that he makes. He made a log. Did he make the ax? I don't, maybe I haven't seen that one. I recently saw a YouTube short, someone made it like an ax, I think that's got a shotgun shell in it. And he swung it with very little effort and it hit the log and just went boom!

And the log explodes away from the axe. The axe doesn't follow through because there's like an equilibrium. It just stays where it had landed and the log just blows away from it. It looked like something, it looked like a magical item from a video game hit the log. He makes really, he made a machine that cuts his own hair it wasn't good anyone can make a bad machine though right like i mean like you really put a lot of effort into like trying to get it right and uh it was bad but it was great content yeah i i've been watching some youtubers like car youtubers lately um watching some car YouTubers lately. Mostly, there's this one guy that finds rare versions of the Ford Taurus, the first Ford Taurus SHO. I didn't know this is a historically

relevant car. I think it came out in the mid-80s. They had the lobby the government to get them to make the headlights the way those headlights were there was that I think they used the the The fuel economy angle to make the government the government changed their law on headlights so they could have those headlights that matched the body Panels like like that were all look like one piece That's the Robocop tourists too, and they made anO version version. They they sent the engine to Japan I think Was Yamaha maybe Yamaha and Yamaha took those v6s that were shit and turned them into maybe dual over ham Single overhead cam would make sense. They they souped them up and got like 160 horsepower at them from 160 like 240 or something Got a ton more horsepower ton more fuel economy

And they made a little hot rod Ford Taurus and then I saw he did one on like a Maybach From like the early 2000s. He's like this was a $600,000 car I bought it for $57,000 honey How do you want your seat his daughter's in the back seat and the back passenger seat? What is like a massaging? Adjustable magic chair that will sit any way he wants. He's like I got homework. I'll just flip out your rosewood desk for you

Oh, you don't let's slide that back away. How about a drink and he opens the refrigerator like in the in the in respect there Oh, you're good. Okay. Well, let's turn Let's just flip the curtains on you like push buttons and curtains start like sliding Down the side of this thing I've been fascinated with that these those youtubers sell an idea that you can get one of those Half million dollar cars for fifty thousand dollars, but then I never hear them mentioned maintenance Yeah, they're getting like a 15 year old half million dollar car and I'm wondering like What's a timing chain cost on that bitch? Like what's an oil change cost?

You know, like on a $600,000 be more expensive. I don't know why. I know with I had a Jaguar SJ12 and you had to remove the transmission to change the spark plugs and there were 12 of them Like things just get complicated when you get fanciful with your car design Whether you're either trying to get cute with it or you're just being lazy with it. Like Elon Musk does I saw someone They had one of their brake lines were leaking. You have to drop the battery to get to the brake lines Like like the holes. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a major overhaul to get to a break line. Yeah, of course. Yeah, you

will want that gets improved through iterative refinement. Right? They realize, oh, we need an access panel for this. Maybe I don't know if they got the money for R&D these days. I don't mock Elon's money he's doing fine. He's doing fine personally. That interview of him and I only saw clips of it I couldn't tell if he was about to cry or if he was just his normal hard-to-read sort of autistic self but he looked very upset and he had a hard time answering the questions. The one where they asked him how he does it all.

Like, how do you run Doge and you're still a CEO? And he's like- Very difficult. With great difficulty. Yeah. And he's sort of like, it's not working, is it? And he's like, you know, he's trying to save the American people money.

I was like, oh, does he mean it? I kind of think he might mean it. Shit, if he means it, I like I looked at the Tesla stock and like it looks like maybe I should have blown it out further. But after the election, it went like gangbusters up. And it looks like like it's now only a little tiny bit above where it was after the election. It looks like a mountain and I'm not a stock guy.

I literally just looked up Tesla stock and then went back like five months or whatever the increment is. So, why is that? They thought like he was going to get a lot more out of being so involved with Trump. And so everybody was juicing it. And now, or are big people selling off? Or is it just reading the market and being like, we're afraid that left leaning people aren't going to buy? Yeah, like that's exactly what I saw. Do five years. that left-leaning people aren't gonna buy, yeah, like that's exactly what I saw.

Five years. Exactly. It's hard data at this point. It's their recent sales quarter is bad. It's also some of the legal issues that Tesla's run into in Europe. It's seemingly the Europeans don't want Tesla's on their roads for safety issues

and they may have a point there. They don't quite meet their crash standards. Certainly the Cybertruck doesn't for any number of reasons. So all of that plus his entire market base souring on him personally, as well as the product really not evolving much in the last five years for sure. But like what were people trying? What were people? Why were they so hot? I think there was some excitement on that recent spike and like Kyle said, five years for sure. But like what were people trying, what were people? Why were they so hot on it?

I think there was some excitement on that recent spike. And like Kyle said, their sales declined and a stock is based, the stock price is based mostly on its future earnings, right? So how much money is it gonna make in the future? Tesla had a really high multiple. So they were expecting great things in the future.

It wasn't based on how much money it's making now, it's worth a lot because we think it's AI, it's robo taxis, like all these things that are coming in the future are gonna be terrific. And people soured on the future of Tesla. Sales are down and they're not so sure that some of these promises will come to fruition. Okay. So there's a bunch of people being overly hopeful.

Also, I believe there was some talk about the EV tax credit maybe going away. I think President Trump had said something about that maybe during the campaign trail or right around him being elected. and I could be wrong about this, but maybe that EV credit doesn't apply to some Tesla's And so of course Elon is like yeah Stop making it so easy for Ford to fucking outsell me stop making a cyber truck $7,500 cheaper than a alright a lightning $7,500 cheaper off the rip by subsidizing than a, or a lightning $7,500 cheaper off the rip by subsidizing.

So I think that's an important point. I'm not an expert on the topic, but some of those sales credits were like the first, don't get hung up on my exact numbers, but like your first 100,000 units get this credit. And Tesla is the company that wore out that credit that got it all. And so, you know, their competitors like Ford,

they haven't sold as much as Tesla have. That tax credit applies to leases and that's super appealing. Like we were talking about this on PKN, but like I've been looking at the Ford Lightning leases cause it's like, are they really $220 with three grand down? You kidding? Like I'm gonna keep running the numbers.

If I can get one for $200 a month, I'm gonna do it as a joke and make a video about it. That's hilarious. I I'm gonna do it as a joke and make a video about it. That's hilarious. I've seen people do it. Like I saw a guy, he put 3,400 down and he got a new Ford F-150 Lightning XLT. And I don't remember the lease terms and they're very important.

But the minimum lease mileage is like 10,000 a year or something like that. It's not super restrictive. And those trucks are 70 or $80,000 a year or something like that. You know, it's not super restrictive. And those trucks are 70 or $80,000. I think- What is the minimum mileage? How does, I don't know much about leases. Oh, if you go over it, they start charging you

like a quarter of a mile. Minimum makes it sound like you're required to drive that many miles. And I'm like, I'm fucked. Yeah, I should have said maximum. Yeah. Oh, okay. For anyone who doesn't know what a lease works, basically you're agreeing to turn this car in Yeah, I should have said maximum. Yeah, for anyone who doesn't know what a lease works basically

You're agreeing to turn this car in in two years after let's just say 30,000 miles and they do the math and they say All right, this thing's $70,000 MSRP. We calculate we presume that this thing will be worth $60,000 after the term of your lease, you know after the two years 30,000 miles So you pay on the rest and then you turn the car back in but I think they're really over valuing what what they're going to be worth in a few years because I used electronic vehicle scares the shit out of me the idea of the batteries and Just just just very nice being very merging tech. Yeah.

In 15 years, the planet will have a better idea of what a 15 year old EV is like. Yeah. I don't know. Like the, the EVs they made, if they even made them 15 years ago, don't have much in common with what we're selling today. Yeah. The batteries are barely even the same technology.

I would guess like the, they escape EV that we were selling in Oh five or or like maybe the Honda leaf or something like that Honda had a weird little ev There's the Nissan leaf. I remember Nissan leaf. Oh Was it it was electric though, right? I think so. Yeah a friend of mine had one Yeah, I just don't think the the current ones are like that but anyway that lease seems super appealing and every now and then if you can I Always recommended to people if they could find a lease like that, it's a great deal. Especially if you're not the kind of person who wants to buy a car and just keep it forever.

I think last year, the V6 Camaro was releasing around maybe under $200. There was a time when it was either $180 or $220 or something like that to lease a V6, you know, 20, 23 Camaro or something like that. Are you trying to get away from your current Camaro? Sell it maybe? No, no, I don't need a car. I've just YouTube thinks I do. So I've been. I get it. I get it.

I'm all good. I got like 20 guns. I don't need. I'm learning so much about outdoor survival because of what YouTube knows I like to watch. I'm like, yeah, I'm watching. Are you planning on new outdoor boys? I'm planning on going to the Wilderness through waist deep snow up a mountain.

And then the meals he makes, I'm like, I think he got fatter that day. Jesus Christ. Did I watch the Outdoor Boys channel and it'll be like, he's like, all right, it's 3 PM and we're in Alaska, which means I've got four minutes of sunlight. I'm gonna need to chop down about 50 trees and then build my shelter. And so let's get moving. And I'm like watching the fast forward version of it. Cause you know how those guys do it. We're like, they're not going to show every tree chopping down, but they show like the ever increasing pile of chopped wood in, in jump cuts.

And it's like late at night, I'm stoned eating popcorn. And I'm like, that looks awful. This looks so tiring. I'll be watching outdoor boys Boys and what's hilarious, this guy is an expert on winter survival. He is very good. He knows what he's doing. So there I am in my bed with a thin comforter under my thin comforter under my thick fuzzy fur comforter. And I'm like, you know, this guy really ought to be building a cutting station for all that firewood he's processing. He doesn't, if I was there, this would be better. I like picture, I picture myself in that situation, like with him and, and like he would get so sick of my shit immediately. I'd be like, God, how much longer until it's warm?

And he's like, well, it's never going to be warm. But we won't die. The sled of equipment. Woody, you can't get in. Yeah. I know Kyle hasn't watched any of his videos, but he'll work for like 14

hours straight. He'll like dig out a little hole in eight foot deep snow and he'll be like, all right, if we're going to get this warm, we need to light a big fire in the middle of this ice pit I've just buried. And it's going to take a large amount of wood and then he'll pan over to like 25 trees he's cut down. And I'm serious, like 25 of these like thin like you know arctic looking trees and then he'll be like this is the beginnings of a good start and I'm like how how and like he's he's like always so positive no powers like chopping down a new he's chopping down a new tree

and he'll be like you know the Japanese beetle we weevil comes through here and it's an invasive species and it results in a lot of these trees dying, it's tragic. But for me, it makes it slightly easier. And I'm like, by slightly easier, he's like now only taking four minutes to cut down a tree instead of, you know, eight minutes, whatever it would be. It's the most exhausting shit imaginable. And at the end, he's like eating shit that's like

less calories than I want to after a day of being sedentary. Where he's like, all right, I froze some moose stew. Or no, I got some moose ribs that I'm going to wrap in foil. And then he'll open it and be like, oh, I'm starving after this long day. And I'm like, two ribs? He brought two ribs? That's insane. I would need, I need 10 ribs just to have the motivation. On the flip side, I learned about these guys on Reddit this week and I was borderline inspired by their fucking survival story. So these six kids got bored and stole a boat and decided they were gonna like sail to Australia or wherever they landed. Instead they hit rough seas, bad weather, their sails were ripped apart and their

what's the thing you the rudder I think was a was ruined and so they drifted for like a week eight ten days or something Living on rainwater they collected and trying to catch fish until they landed on a desert aisle That has almost nothing on it. What's that? island at a Island and they lived there for I believe 15 months. During that time these dudes didn't like waste away or or like become weak and pathetic. They built a gym. That was. Dude once they once they had become good enough fishermen that they had enough raw fish every day to just eat like

savages. They built a bench press. There's pictures of these dudes getting yoked. Keep in mind, look at the pictures of them. They're in that link right there. These kids, these are kids. These are teenagers. They've got pecs and like mother trucker looks 30. They do look old. Maybe all that sunlight, but that is so cool. They do look old. Maybe that all that all that sunlight but that is so cool. They stored water in hollowed out tree trunks. They had no there were no pigs to dig up the wild taro. So they had tons of wild taro which I think is like a root kind of a potato right. Do you think you could make a fire if you were in a deserted island? Depends on the situation.

But but what do I have if I had? All right. So here's what I need. Let me say that. A little island. I need that dry kindling. I need that like. Like like a like a wheat field when it's just about to be

harvested, crinkly grass. If I don't have that, then I can't start a fire. Okay. I don't think there's much of that on tropical islands. No, there's not. Maybe, maybe like coconut, like husks. I was going to say, hairy. I was going to call them pineapples, but they're actually called coconuts. Yeah.

Use the hairy coconuts. Yeah. But like that could perhaps be really good tiddly. I would use my own hair maybe. I think that would, that appeals to me. I think maybe I don't care what it smells like. It's not our biggest problem. Trust me, I already stink if I'm making a fire on a desert island with my hair. Oh, then dude, I'm the ultimate fire starter.

We could clear out half of one of my butt cheeks. Oh, butt cheeks. And I'm like shaving your ass with a big, gooey knife. I hate that this is true, but the testicle hair burns so well. It's like thick and craggly. Do you ever do that? Like you see your own hair and you're like, do you ever see your own like a, like scrotum hair and you're like how is it so thick? No. Like it's like a thick it's thicker than my head hair. Bro, bro that's insane. First of all,

first of all, it's like no it's it's I really want to see a picture. It's girthy, it's a girthy hair. It's not quite like it's like a beard hair level of thickness but like you tell me your balls are hairier than your fucking head? No, no, not like, not like total hairiness. Like below your dick, do you just have another beard like that? No. No. But like, I'll like, sometimes like,

we're gonna haven't shaved in a while down there. And I like see sometimes there's like some testicle hairs where it's like, that's a, that's a big boy. Like that's a, that's a thick hair. Well look. That's not like, that's not head hair. I'm not gonna feel like I'm innocent in this, but not down there. No, but I'll get some ear hairs every now and then I'll feel it and I'll be like, oh, it's ear hair. I'll pluck it and it hurts. But the pain is so deep down my ear canal. It's like, holy shit. And I look and that

bitch will be like two and a half inches long. It grew out of my ear drum It was deep down in there It like I could tell like like damn it that hurt inside my ear canal I I have I do have the ear the uh, the ear hair. That's that's my genetic curse Uh, I don't have any ear hair. I have I have a lot of it. Can I tell you about my curse? What's your curse same ear hair? But with an autistic son. So he'll be walking by and be like, hey dad, you have the longest hair.

Like notify Guinness? He'll say, maybe I'll pluck it. You can't say no, he needs to pluck this. He won't be complete. His soul will be a vacuum for the rest of time. And you love that, Sid? I would love that in my life. I've had, I've gotten multiple girlfriends to get in there and go ahead and get out there.

So he plucks it unsuccessfully. Shit. All right, nevermind. Second try. Third try. Oh, that pain? We're building. Maybe the fourth try comes out. It's like, oh my God. I'm going to start sweating thinking about it. And you can't shut it down. He's bigger than you. Oh, still. Would he try and yank out my wand, my, my, uh, Ricky Martin eyebrow,

dude, I, I, I match single very close out instead of, you know, sideways and he's always plucking it. I Would love to have some of the plug every now and then I'll come to it Competently like it's very painful like especially the ones that are on that little dangly thing there Like the ones that are like deep down in there. That doesn't really hurt that much. Those are that's like dang thing What do you mean? Yeah, a little bottom thing in your ear. I don't know what you call the little bottom of your ear. You're low What dangling thing? What do you mean? Yeah, the little bottom thing in your ear. I don't know what you call the little bottom of your ear.

Your lobe. Your ear lobe? You get hair on your ear lobe? Yeah, yeah. That's insane. You are making fun of me and you have a hairy ear lobe. Like, like, like, like wispy ones that just need to be gotten after. I'm going to start waxing them for real. That's wild.

I don't get a ton of nose hair. I don't get a lot of ear hair. I wouldn't say I compulsively pluck my nose hair But I keep it clean in there and if I'm not late like in prison, I definitely did in prison I was I was you know going a little nutty and and I would sit there and At night and pluck all my nose I swear to God I said you were really fucking losing your mind for a while and I Did I was plugging them out and it was so I could hear there were so many it was going Like I could hear and I was I was putting them on a little piece of paper

I had like against the wall and in the morning I woke up and it looked like a wad of pubes I had plugged so much nose hair out but I had the other inmates like that guy He's actually crazy. Like that guy doesn't care about pain. That's odd because- Let me tell you this nose hair story. We're on the show and Kyle's talking to Taylor. He's like, Taylor, sometimes I feel like an older brother.

We pass down these tips and he's telling you about this nose hair trimmer. And meanwhile, I'm sitting here quietly watching Kyle tell Taylor how trimming your nose hairs helps you breathe better, it's better, it's cosmetically nicer, et cetera. Message fell on Taylor's deaf ears. He's not trimming his nose hairs.

I'm over here silently soaking it up. I have been trimming my nose hairs based on that story for like three years now. I could go get the trimmer, trimmers right in the bathroom upstairs here. Hold on. Is it that little, I bet it's that little circular one that you did like with nose hairs every like once in a blue moon, I'll see like a hair that's like coming out of my nose.

I bought this baby off Amazon. Oh, you hear that? Exactly what I imagined. Yeah. There's another device for plucking them. And if you can imagine, it's like this, like two fingers go on it and then your thumb goes underneath.

And when you squeeze together, there's a spring that gets stretched. And you know, when you stretch a spring, the coils come apart from one another. Well, you stick it in your nose and then you press it and the spring comes apart. And then when you release the sprint, all those coils inch every hair. And so you can yank out these huge tufts of hair at once.

I have a lot of I genuinely believe you can breathe better. And it's like it's like cleaning the air filter on a car or having a cold air intake or something on a car. It's like more air coming in like this. But for masochists. Yeah, that's brutal. I every once in a while, I'll see like, one, like once in a blue moon, I'll see like a hair like looking in the mirror. And it's like, that's like a hair starting to

get to like the entrance of my nose. And it's a big one. And I'll just like use my fingers and rip that one out. And then that's about it. No, I swear. I'm hearing most places, I'll get a very normal amount of arm hair. I don't have fucking like Robin Williams arms. Very normal. I don't get hairy ears or hairy nose. My back's not hairy. I joke about it. But my ass isn't even hairy. My asshole is a fucking thicket. But other than that, it's not too hairy. I guess my legs are pretty hairy,

but sometimes even I'll wear, like if I wear jeans a lot, it seems like it rubs my whole calf clean of the hair. And so like, I'll still have hair on the front of my legs, but in the back is like almost clipped down. My chest and belly have gotten hairier as I age, but it's not like super dark, but it's like, I don't think it's bad.

Like I look at it and I'm like, it's almost shadowing my abs like in a positive way. Like this isn't- It's like Pam Allen. Yeah, I feel bad for the lads out there who don't have full chest hair because it does help for exactly that reason. Makes you look a little more masculine

and then it also shades down over the pecs. Makes it a little more defined. Could I get a Merkin? Like a full chest Merkin? Nah, you either have it or you don't. Shit. There's no hair club for men. And you don't.

Can you imagine going to a hair club for men? What is it, Monoxidil? I bet if you were, I bet it would work. Oh my God. Eight years ago, you and I. I'm thermal rolling my entire torso. And so do you remember when, I don't remember if Woody bought it too,

but I remember Kyle told me to buy minoxidil or one of those pastes you rub on. And I was like, Oh, I can't wait. I'm going to put it on my beard, like to grow more beard. And then I got it. And I like look at the back of the bottle and it's like, warning don't fuck around with this. It's actually bad for you. And I was like, okay, that goes under the sink. I still have minoxidil from like seven years ago. Yeah, we bought so much of it at once. It was like, we bought Amazon, we bought Amazon minoxidil and it was like nine bottles at a time or something.

It was a bulk pack. We really committed. It was like $65. We were going to do minoxidil beards. But then, like you said, I remember exactly, you because I remember someone asking, like, why are you in Minoxidil? Well, we were going to do beards, but Taylor says it causes autism. I don't know. He's in this mom's group and they scared us. Yeah. Now, Kyle, I want to see you grow out the stash. I know you've said you can't do a beer. Nothing happens. I can see on your face you have a you would have a full mustache. No, no. I would look like I would look like one of those Mayans. This is four months. No, I would look like one of those Mayan tribal boys or a little bit like Larry David or not Larry David

fucking Larry legend fucking Larry Bird I was gonna ask deep because it looks to me like you can grow a good mustache too Is it possible that it's just not dark hair that it comes in blonde or so? That's half of it That's half of it. It's it's it's not that thick and then it's not that dark at the same time There's some there's some gray hairs in there and there's always been like blonde hairs in there So it's just it's not gonna be a presentable mustache never gonna have that Tom Selleck look Unfortunately, I wish I wish I wish I'd be down

I'd be I would love to do like a like a like a beard off where we where we had it But but it would go nowhere it would be very embarrassing and uh and i refuse to take part woody would win he's got that stylish that that stylish gray area here i don't have a stylish gray i used to have a pretty red beard that i thought looked pretty dope it was like mixed brown and red and i liked it now it's gray and I'll go from 52 to 72 in a flash when I grow my beard out. No, the gray is sick. That's cool. I like it. I think you look like the Colonel in a video game or like the grizzled sea captain with that beard in the video. Like the one who knows about, oh, you're not, don't go to that cove Rapier

Huge cocks Caribbean That's why I limp oh alright, so Forever go I guess I saw Elon Musk tweet it tweeted out some fake story that the new Pirates of the Caribbean was gonna be a black woman playing the Johnny Depp character. And he was like, what is this? And it was fake.

It was like made up, but they used a real black woman actor. Like they're like, she's been cast as the Johnny Depp character. She's the new Jack Sparrow. And I guess she got death threats over it. It was a whole meltdown. I did see that. I didn't know it was fake I didn't look at yeah, they were not gonna make they're not making a new exactly. They're not making well

They're not gonna make a black woman Captain Sparrow Although that's not like crazy talk like you can understand why someone might I mean it doesn't sound unreasonable Unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah, I mean they'll be like we're making a movie about Achilles and it's like well Why is fucking Denzel Achilles? The new Snape is for in Harry the Harry Potter show no, I know I did it's a black man Taylor Why don't they just make it? Adam Driver. Why don't they make it Adam Driver the most looking snappiest motherfucker that ever Snaped?

Adam Driver played in Star Wars? Yeah, amazing actor. Oh my God, this guy, I'm not a Harry Potter guy, we're a Star Wars guy. This, not casting this guy as Snape is criminal. That's insane, he looks exactly like, he has the same hair. Ah, they nailed it. See, that there, that seems like a stretch to me. So leave that up for a second, Zach.

So I know you don't know the Harry Potter story, like letter by letter. So let me remind you a little bit how Snake fits into the character, especially in his early life. So what they will have to depict in a manner where we're sympathetic to the Potters, you will have to have a white man come in and steal this black man's white girlfriend away from him when he's a little kid and bully this black boy Relentlessly with his all-white group of friends and laugh at him and hang him upside down and make fun of his quote greasy hair

That's the that's that's how the story goes easy solution Give him greasy hair cast. Everybody is black and it's the whiz ah Just remove white people entirely from Yeah, no that seems pretty dumb seems like this guy Snape looks exactly like Adam Driver They even have this they have the exact same hair well somebody clearly has shopped That hair on top of Adam Driver Which is a completely unnecessary if you just use a picture of him from fucking Star Wars because he wears a cloak and he wears his hair like that in Star Wars. It's it's it's it's a travesty that they're not.

Is this confirmed though? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Oh, so like that's just stupid. Why needlessly replace or it's just some woke casting director and a bunch of like left leaning people in the production can do anything about this uh i mean if they brought lord of the rings back and they tried to make frotto or gandalf or aragorn black no arwen that's when i'm hitting the protest what if all right what if they make arwen um which one's arwen arwen is uh aragorn's love interest live tyler kill oh live tyler okay okay thank you. What if we make her Queen Latifah?

I have a different pet name for her. No, I don't like Queen Latifah in that role. She's fat. And she's black. And Arwen is not black. Arwen is an elf. Maybe she could be like a... It's like written a thousand times

that elves were fair skinned. I am a dark elf from Africa. Dark elves are not part of Lord of the Rings. That's other fantasy. And dark in that doesn't even mean black. It means like it's dark as in like sinister. Like these are dark elves. They're working with underground kind of corrupt.

I think in Baldur's Gate, there's like a dark version of like the gnomes and the dwarves. I think they're the Dwagar maybe? But they're like sort of a... It's called the Dwemer. Yeah. The Dwemer's... I think they're both things. I get a little confused with all the made-up nonsense that I have to remember. Speaking of made-up nonsense, Woody, Invincible season finale, season three, episode eight came out today. I have not watched it yet,

but I was so fucking pumped after episode seven last week. For those of you who are not on the Invincible bandwagon, it's a series of comics written by Alex Kirkman, who's the creator of the Walking Dead comic line Uh, it's I I know like superhero fatigue is a thing, but this is a little different and it's animated It's voiced by um, I forgive me for not knowing his name, but the asian guy from walking dead. Is it he's mark I think his name might be Steve young. It's not cho chang. Oh That's harry pot not Cho Chang. Oh That's Harry Potter's girlfriend

Why eun Steve yen that works and then JK Simmons, of course who I'm loving in everything I see him in recently. He's he's become one of my favorites. I watched him in juror number two last night Fantastic little part in that but JK Simmons voices' voice is an omniman. It's very, very good. And man, that last episode was tremendous. I really like that show and I'm invested in those characters. I want to have a spoiler discussion with you in the last episode. You down? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. In episode seven. Spoiler, you've heard this in invincible season 3 episode 7 Rex dies you think he's dead yes I think he's a hundred percent dead because of the way he killed himself Rex Taylor you remember gambit from the X-Man who had

the playing cards he put energy in him throw him and they explode it kind of yeah Rex is the version of that from this world so he he adds energy to a thing it and he turns it into whatever kinetic energy that it explodes and Just to like kill the big bad at the end of the episode who's really just about to break his neck and like kill him Or maybe torture death who knows he slips his own hand into his open chest wound And the guy's like, you got nothing else to blow up, do you? Got nothing to throw at me. He's like, how about my whole skeleton? And he charges himself and then makes an enormous explosion and kills the bad guy.

Sacrifices. Was he wearing clothes like anything else? We needed a big explosion. He's fighting like an like an omega level demon here. Like it's a mark from another reality I know you don't know what that means, but it's a it's a problem. Okay He's sorry He'd already thrown the kitchen sink at him before this and it and the guys just shaking it off like it's nothing that he Died from the skeleton explosion. Yeah, he's 100% dead. That's what he's asking me. They don't really show it He's coming back Of characters have died and come back already like they show you them like there's one person who duplicates themselves. So the trick is to always have one dupe

What's her name still alive? Duplicate and her name is Kate. Oh Love it. That's so brutal. Anyway duplicate like we've watched her die Did I but there's one more left? There's always one more left until this one fight where there wasn't. And then we go like a half a season knowing that she's dead and then she comes back alive and she's like, yeah, I always keep a spare in the closet and like another spot just in case things go really wrong. It does make sense except for the tortured version of this in a closet somewhere. Well, I'm just killing them on vacation, really.

What's the lore on the split? Are all of them equally her, or she's like the... All of them are equally her. She's the fruiting body, and all the other ones are less. Duplicates can duplicate, and they don't drop in quality or anything. Are there any... Duplicating.

Can a duplicate go rogue, or does she have control over them it's not control of them she is them so the one who's in the closet is like this is my this is what I'm not in a closet per se they're just somewhere safe okay and then like they're hanging out on vacation in Tahiti like we've seen them on the floor bodies cut severed in two with their guts pouring out yeah that's not fatal and but like their bottom half and top half that guy's an alien though he's a martian all right to be fair the guy you're referring to is a like wheat so this one guy is a is a martian literally a martian from mars and he doesn't understand

the human experience. And it's played for comedy really well. There's a part, the guy that kills him was like, what's the problem with that one guy I ripped in half? What was that weird thing he said? God, it took me off guard. It's so weird. What did he say? Oh no, I will cease to live now. What the fuck was that? What a weird thing to say. But that's how that guy talks. And so like, oh, what the hell? What didn't have, didn't seemingly have this power, who took a gunshot to the brain. This might've been Rex. And it turns out gunshot to the brain,

if the surgeons are good enough, can bring him back. And I'm like, they have told us people died so many times and nobody's died yet. Sure, sure. It's been- They're starting to make it feel like there's no consequences. A lot of people died though.

We're wrapping up three. And no one's died. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no consequences. Lots of people died though. We're wrapping up three. And no one's died. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No one important has died. Everyone important has died, that's the point. We're on the B team of the superhero team because the entire A team gets wiped out in the beginning and they're dead, dead.

They don't come back. Okay, but I'll just go- Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. I need to correct myself. There's one superhero who's called the immortal. His name is the immortal. So when his head gets cut off, you just need to put it back on.

So he actually didn't die in the first episode, but everybody else dies. They kill them off and they didn't come back. The red. Is he like Deadpool? No, he's more like an Olympian God who's been around since the beginning of time who can fly. And it's like fly and is like and

is not well socially adjusted because of that he talks kind of funny yeah yeah um but but no they kill a lot of people for good um but what if you dissolve they have definitely have brought some people back but why are you asking about screen time doesn't die for good only if you dissolve them in unicorn juice what if you dissolve them in unicorn juice. What if you dissolve them in a high intensity acid? Fruit-to-sourc? No, corn syrup. No, not that, a high intensity acid.

People watching the show will know that. Hydrofluoric. Hydrofluoric, that's a good call. That would, yeah, that would work. No, get them, okay. Yeah. You didn't expect such a great swish acid pulp, did you? No, no. I was thinking, I was like, he says hydrofluoric, I'm going to give it to him. I always remember hydrofluoric is a really intense one because when I learned it was that intense,

I'm like, that's what I would imagine hydrochloric acid is. But apparently that's not even anywhere near hydrofluoric acid. I think that's what that guy imagine hydrochloric acid is. But apparently that's not even anywhere near hydrochloric acid. I think that's what that guy, I called him like the soup cook or something. He would melt people for the cartel and acid. What a cool, those people are so fucked up, dude. He turns people into scaredy. Yeah, we're going to cut off your dick and put it in your mouth.

In your beheaded head. And we're gonna put it on top of your fucking Ford Pinto and scare your wife. Why do you mention that? I just saw a news story about some dicks getting cut off and put into mouths. But not the way you think. So as you know, Taylor,

the mortuary industry is mostly populated by females. It's preferred. You know that, right? No, it's men because they like to fuck the bodies. It's the other way around. It's preferred that you have a lady in those positions. Oh, you mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's they're not hiring men.

They don't want to because men fuck the bodies. Just. Yeah, that's a good call. And look, look, you're all pictured some gross body that in some weird dude, like. What if? What if Zendaya overdoses and they bring her in like five minutes later? She's still warm, Taylor. She's a little warm. I'm saying Tom Hollins outside. Who am I even hurting? Tom Hollins said it was okay.

He gave me the gnaw. He even went... Well then, I mean, what are you gonna do? You know, you play the hand-to-dell. I think you're playing Zendaya. I'm gonna- Life just gave someone lemon. I'm probably gonna cut a little bit of her hair

and keep it. You'd keep it? No, dude, that would- I need a souvenir to remember. That's like cereal. That's like how you get caught. Whoa, whoa. Because you have a fucking- Let's not use that word. Well, that's like how you get caught. Whoa. Whoa, it's not use that word

Well, that's how that's how you would get caught. You'd have a bunch of zendaya hair in your fucking End table. Well, I'm not gonna do a crime that I'm gonna be i'm just gonna look tom holland gives me the nod Get in there, you know, she's been woodie will back me up on this Uh, I figured you know a little banging, take some hair. Nobody's the wiser. There's not gonna be a big investigation. What's the problem? Anyway, yeah, well, I was just talking about how you don't want to hire men if it for morgues, mortuary positions, anything around a dead body because they want to fuck the bodies automatically. And then I was describing a scenario in which I was working in a morgue and then Zendaya overdosed

right outside the morgue and they brought her right in. She's still kind of warm, Woody. She's still kind of warm. And then Tom Holland, I bump into Tom Holland down the hall. I tell him he kicks a spider. He's the best spider man ever. He says, oh, brother, give her a final shag in it. Yeah. I'm like, Hey, I'm going to go in there.

You mind if I go knuckle deep in Zendaya? She's gone. And he's like, he gives me the Spider-Man nod and I get after it. I'd be down for that. And I take a little hair as a souvenir. That's all I was saying. But that aside, I heard a news story this week

where this lady found out that the body in her mortuary was a sex offender. Now I think she was supposed to cremate the body, unmolested, if you will, just, you know, slide him in, cook him up, ashes to wh whomever that is not what she decided to do can you can you even guess what she decided to do with the body of the sex offender I don't know what sex offenses she had to have treated him she had to have burned him at some point because otherwise you wouldn't have the ashes and you couldn't just like deprive

some other family of ashes to like split them up. It's possible she's burning for the county potter's grave type situation. I don't know about all that, but I'll tell you what she did. She cut the man's penis off and then plot twist, put it in her own mouth to own him. She pulled a Cartman. She put his dick in her mouth to own him. She's like, haha, now you fucked an ugly chick. That's like literally what he would have wanted. It's exactly what he would have wanted. One more sex assault to go out with. Alright, she needs to be fired just on grounds of total retardation. She was like, that's insane. It's like,

yeah. And guess what, Hitler? When I cremate your body, I'm gonna punch a Jewish guy while I do it. And it's like, why? I'm going to use your hand to throw a Torah in the microwave for the fuck. It's like, what? Well, that doesn't make any sense. That woman's an idiot. If it takes men to get a better quality mortician than that, then we just have to let them in there and just take the risk that some of them are gonna fuck you. I just don't like that Zendaya and Tom Holland get in the same movie. It just, what are the odds that they were both the best person for each of their roles? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? And it's like, look, I like-

Are we talking about Spider-Man? Tom Holland. Yeah, the movie you're talking about boy bro. Why she webs out my hand that guy. Yeah, I know which guy you said What are the odds that they both get in it? Yeah, like they're both in the new Christopher Nolan movie or whatever the the one Odysseus about Odysseus like okay Spider-man the movie like what are the odds they were both in there and I'm like they met on that set yeah he's safe with that one i that casting i find that's where i miss it all although is she mary jane did they just make mary jane black or is she a different character i'm not positive damn tom holland is a real little fella he's a he's a smaller guy is that why he was is spider-man supposed to be a little guy is that part of the lore like he's a smaller guy. Is that why he was, is Spider-Man supposed to be a little guy? Is that part of the lore? Like he's a slight.

He's a nerdy guy. I always think of him as tall and lanky, but my version of Spider-Man like that I grew up with is the animated version where Mary Jane's a fucking redhead too. So I don't know what's going on these days. So she's not Mary Jane exactly. Her name is Michelle and her initials are MJ is kind of a nod to a similar character,

but she's not. That, that, see, that doesn't bother me in the slightest. That name, it's never that I mind a different race being involved in my movie film. It's always just wanting to stay true or as true as we can to the, the, the, what we started with unless it like benefits the the project. What I just explained a minute ago why I'm making Snape a black guy like is a bit of a problem for some of Snape's storylines. But also it's just like keep it consistent with the lore and what it is like that's what it should be like in Lord of the Rings, for example.

Like if Boromir out of fucking out of the fucking blue was black, it'd be like, what the fuck's going on? Why is everybody else in Gondor white? Like this doesn't make sense. This is, you know, what this is jarring and it's pulling. It's making me acknowledge that I'm watching a movie right now. I had my back when it was Little Mermaid. No, I didn't. I had the connection to Little Mermaid. Oh, dude, you know we had your back on that one. If I recall.

I was making jokes because she can't swim. I don't care. No, if I recall, I said, I don't care about this enormously because it's not my wheelhouse, but it is ridiculous to just take a redhead character or something and be like, all right, you're black now. It was my daughter's like go-to Halloween costume.

She was always the little mermaid. She did it like multiple times. She won a Halloween costume contest as little mermaid. Like our family has this connection to this little redhead. As she got older, she was Kim Possible. Yeah, Kim Possible. Go get her a bow and she bow and the girl from Brave. It would be different if like as what Woody brought up before, like it would be different

if it was a two way street at all. But it's literally never once been a two way street in the modern era. I can prove you wrong. In the modern era. All the muggers have turned white. That's true. You watch an ADT commercial and you got some guy named Eric trying to break in your house.

Wearing a stocking cap. Look, I am here for your valuables. Yeah, but it is retarded and like you have to, you have to be an actual moron. Clean cut guy to break into your home wearing a stocking cap in the middle of the day. But I'm alarmed at the loud noises, I'm shocked. It's just like replacing white people in media.

And it's like, you genuinely have to be a retard not to notice that. Cause it's not like, oh, we made a movie about shockazooloo and we've got William Shatner in it. And it's like, what? Like that would never slip by the goal way. No one would ever even attempt that because it would be so absurd. But they'll be like, yeah, we're making a movie about Lee and the King Leonidas. And he's going to be played by this really skilled sub-Saharan African we we hired out of the Congo. And

it's like a movie recommendation, an old movie recommendation. Watch Zulu. Watch Zulu. True story of I think it's Rourke's Drift. Isn't that sad? The Zulus get fucked up recommendation watch Zulu watch Zulu true story of I think it's Rourke's drift isn't that sad I'm gonna lose get fucked up The Zulus were not the good guys the Zulus were a warring tribe raping pillaging and massacring Under Shaka Zulu you're coming off his chair. I mean they may oh Colonialism yeah, those were the good guys wearing the red coats with the fucking 303s They it's got a couple of actors You'll recognize there

Who's the guy that plays fucking Alfred? I'm watch well, but I'm Michael Cain Mike it's got Michael Cain in it when he's looking you this is like the fourth time tonight I've had to help you with the fucking I got it. I got it in July got you there mate Your father Taylor's carrying him on accents. I'm getting actors names My That's a true story though. It's like 300 redcoats holding out against 5,000 Zulus with spears and a few rifles and shields and they just keep charging into like rifle fire. Very good movie.

And if any, and would you have been taken out of that movie if Shaka was like a red haired dude? Because he's not in the movie, but I'll tell you what, if, if, if one of the white like bread coat kernels had just inexplicably been a black woman, I don't, I don't think I'd have bought it. Yeah. Of course. Chaka Zulu, the TV series. No, but I know a little bit of the, you know, the story. What,

what was the TV series like? I was said to be really good. I was young. I thought maybe you might've caught it. The, uh, the actors were fit. That burned into my memory. Yeah, that would be, that's, that's so funny. Like I always have in my head like Chaka Zulu. Yeah. He ran around with the hide shield and a spear So that must have been the year 200 and then you look it up and it's like ah born a little after the signing of the Declaration of Independence

I'm surprised he's that old seven. Yeah,, I thought he was going to say like 1930 or something like that. Like there were TV shows coming out. I don't know when the Rourke's mission thing happened, but my guess would be like 1875 to somewhere around there because they had rifles with bullets, with cartridges. But not muskets or anything. But it's crazy the amount of them that they killed defending that mission. They just lay lined up in like rows of three, like one row kneeling and one row above them and one row above them. And

it was like, it's like fire and then reload and then this fire and then they're reloading. How would you have done better if you were a Zulu? Like left. They're down there. There's no way down there. Leave them right there. Wait till their water runs out. Why aren't we going down there? Seaside.

Why are we going down there? Yeah, I wouldn't go down there. They got right. So they had the height advantage? Yeah, they got them completely surrounded. Literally 5,000 men, if I remember correctly. If it's not 5,000, then it's way more. It's not a case of one of those over counting and history thing. This was a massive overwhelming

force that had them surrounded with the high ground and they're down in this. You can see every inch of this. There's no slinking away in the darkness through the tree line or something. Don't picture that. They're down there in a mission. There's a church, there's a medical building, there's some stock yard stuff like animal livestock, but there's no fortress to be had. They just dug ditches and built little lean-to walls and held out. For David.

The siege is a great idea. I was wondering how to close the distance. Like a bamboo shield's not to get it done, right? Bull will tear right through that. A thicker log shield? Can you carry that? And then, I don't know. They were really married to a tactic. The only way to win would be siege. The Zulus were really married to a tactic that was based on the horns of a bull.

You'd have a central force and then two flanking forces. And they kept attempting that. At parts they would have guys crawl. There was a lot of tall grass. So they wouldn't just start at you from 300 meters and close to zero. They might crawl within 100 yards of you and then out of nowhere pop up and start sprinting at you with a spear in one hand and a Shield in the other and the rifles they have You got a shot and then the next shots real hard to get in there It's like pull back and then put a bullet in and then close it back together and then shoot You can close with that guy and start fighting him with a spear real quick So they're bayoneting people to along the way. It was a crazy, it's a good movie.

It sounds like a reload takes like three seconds. Maybe if you were Yeah, three, four seconds, maybe you know, you got a bullet ready to go to I it's gonna be a I don't know, something like that. Yeah. But there were that's a great movie. And it's a true story. I saw Saw I think I remember we bought that movie out of that bin in Walmart in like 1992 and then it stayed in my bedroom until 2005 and then I carried it with me to Atlanta and it was It was destroyed enough in a flood No, I had the topless women DVDs and like, what was that in?

It was in like Lord of the Rings because you had a lot of discs in there. You could fold that bitch out and stick a porno in there easy. You got all those. I remember the Lord of the Rings set up. It was like four folding parts. Yeah, they needed as soon as they do a re-release, I'll pay whatever they want for it. That's the sort of thing I'd pay 250 bucks for. Like all three movies leave the hobbit shit out.

But I want the hell out of here. Like, you know, this tailor, but the audience might not. They you've heard of the extended editions. There is there's like 40 more minutes per foot. I need the wet workshop in there, too. The wet workshop stuff is great. You get all the building of the shields, the weapons, the masks, the helmets, everything you see how the ringlets in the armor were like hand made together

thousands upon thousands of them, like handmade, like real armor would have been made, but there's still more material we've never seen. I've seen the screenshots of who remind me, Aowyn. There's a scene that was shot of Aowyn in the caves at Helm's Deep, and I guess a couple of bad guys sneaked through a mountain pass or maybe passed everyone, and she has to take them out with a sword.

Like that scene is there to be thrown in if you wanted it. And I think there's a lot of scenes like that. I've seen pictures, just still shots of a lot of stuff. There was also a fight filmed at the end where Aragorn fights Sauron. Have you seen that footage? I have not seen that footage. So you'll remember at the at the gates when he says for Frodo and we all charge

remember at the at the gates when he says for Frodo and we all charge forth Aragorn ends up in a 1v1 with a troll that's like really big and he's struggling with it it's that he stabs at the foot at one point he's that that does dagger yeah that was um Sauron they just put the troll over the Sauron model well i prefer the troll better in that scene because Sauron wouldn't Sauron model. I prefer the troll better in that scene. I've seen the footage with Sauron and I've seen it both ways and I agree with you, but it might be because of how rough the Sauron stuff looks because it's not polished all the way, but he doesn't look big enough. He's nine feet tall, but he still doesn't look big enough somehow. Like, he knocks you down. But I wouldn't have liked that. I don't want Sauron to take the corporeal form in the War of the Ring.

I like it the way it was. You know, in the books, there's not even an eye though. That was an improvement we all appreciated. I like the eye of Sauron. The ringless eye of Sauron ever burning. And that was in the books. They mentioned the eye. I'm almost positive that it's not. But Google would know for

sure. Oh, well, I'll let you storm that beach because I don't care. My rightness. I'm pretty confident that the eye is mentioned in the book unless I've just done a bunch of neural remapping to they may mention a figurative eye, a metaphysical eye, but they don't mention, they don't say a physical representation of it atop a tower overlooking Mordor, certainly. Well, where else would his eye be other than atop the Tower of Orthanc?

They don't say that though. I don't know. I'm due for a reread. I'm not. I've read it twice. I don't think I want to read it again. I've read it in many years at this point so I need to do it. I just, I know that I need to. I just really enjoy it. My favorite fantasy story ever. I just got my book finally it took weeks to get here, but it's that uh, it's the story of the 1400s Knights being kidnapped by extraterrestrials, but Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're like Crusaders They're Christian Crusaders and and aliens come to it's called the like the future crusade or the last crusade

It's something like that, but I haven't gotten into it yet, but I'm pretty pumped to read it. I think the gist is the aliens take these questing knights, these guys who were about to go fight the fucking Muslims, they take them to Mars or somewhere, and they're quickly overwhelmed by the barbaric humans with swords and shields and chainmail. They can't deal with it, and I think the humans might take their spaceship away from them or something like that. So I'm looking forward to that. I like that kind of alternate history mixed with sci-fi type shit.

It sounds pretty cool. I need to find a cool new sci-fi series to watch. I like sci-fi in principle more than I end up liking it when I watch series of sci-fi. What about that? Read The Expanse? We were all reading. The Expanse? Is that the one you're thinking of? No, you're talking about the one with the silly magic. You sent me all those books and then I put

them in my closet. Oh, the Stormlight Archive. That really went off the rails. No, no, I haven't read it. I bought it and it and that oh really I heard a friend of mine is also really into it and Knowing how into it he is. He was like dude. I read the first like 80 pages and I lost interest This has really gone off the rails since that because the fourth book was not excellent It was still entertaining but not not yes, not top of the game books one two and three I liked a lot for tapered a little bit and now five I just haven't mustered the motivation to start it. Chat says book five is return to form. Okay I'll have to do it. I've got it on my no more reliable source than internet strangers. That's true they're often

and they wouldn't mislead you to fuck with you. They would never do that. They wouldn't give you incorrect information on the hopes that you waste your time in pursuit of it. That's something the internet commenters just straight up don't do. I watched the second Jurer last night. It's a Clint Eastwood movie that came out last year. The cast is outrageous.

The cast is Tony Collette, JK Simmons, Kiefer Sutherland, Nicholas Holt, who I really like, and a bunch of other people you'll recognize as you all throughout it. You're like, oh, that guy. Oh, oh, I know him. And the premise is our main character, clean-cut guy with a baby about to be born gets picked for jury duty and he's selected for it. It's a murder. They think a boyfriend killed his girlfriend and right away as he's viewing the evidence and the circumstances of the crime,

he realizes, spoilers for jury number two, a little bit, just the beginning, he realizes that he committed this crime. Last year, October 25th, he remembers being at that same bar where this happened, and then he remembers driving down that same road, and he remembers hitting a deer but not being able to find the body. He wasn't drunk, but he used to be a drunk. He's a recovering alcoholic. And he was at a bar and he ordered a drink, but he looked at it and left. So he can't tell him forward with his story. He can't say, I'm recovering alcoholic before DUIs, but I went to a bar, ordered a drink,

didn't drink it, and then vehicular manslaughtered a woman accidentally, but I didn't know it was a woman. See, it's a year later and he's on the jury. It really looks like the boyfriend did it because they just had a fight and he let her walk home in the rain. It's a ridiculous thing to do to let your girlfriend walk home in the rain, but he did. He didn't kill her. Not a good guy either. So he's trying to influence the jury he's on to get the guy off because he's the only one who knows for sure the guy didn't do it. J.K. Simmons is an ex-detective who's also on the jury and he's like, I don't, it sounds like a hit and run to me. I don't know. And he's like, I don't, it sounds like a hit and run to me. Not like a hit and run to me, I don't know.

And he's like, well, I don't think that, just don't think guilty. So it becomes this real problem where like, he doesn't wanna get found out, but he doesn't wanna send this man to prison for the rest of his life. And he's stuck in the most stressful scenario imaginable with unruly jurors.

You can imagine what the jury room is like. They've got a great cast in there. Old white lady, young punk kid, black guy who's like the hammer of justice needs to fall on this white boy. Y'all's turn now. Like, there's some of that going on. It's one thing. It was a good movie. And one to 10.

Six and a half. Oh, well, that that's not enticing. Um, six and a half. Oh, well, that that's not enticing. I mean, I I'm glad I watched it. I thought it was good. I was interested all the way through. I was I was I found. Yeah, but you watch all sorts of stupid shit.

I mean, I don't want to think it's going to be an Oscar winner or anything. I don't know what the Rotten Tomatoes look like, but just going off of what I watched last night, I enjoyed it. a seven is high praise from me. Okay, I guess Rotten Tomatoes was 93%. So it rates it higher than Kyle did. I didn't like a particular leap forward. There's a part where it's like, whoa, what happened? We just skipped forward like Through some stuff and I'm having to catch up now and and I didn't like that I think that's why I think a point away if maybe if that hadn't happened I would think maybe a little higher maybe a seven but up anyway, Nick Kate

I mean, excuse me Clint Eastwood movie that is 94 years old He's not a daughter around a house dying of malnutrition with not unable to find his meds Yeah, Gene Hackman needs to step it up. He's making 94% on Rotten Tomatoes movies. That's incredibly impressive. Was it a fairly new movie? Last year. It's brand new.

I imagined it being much older, okay. No, no, brand new, really good. Loved it. Six and a half. You ready to rap? I'm ready to rap. I'm ready to wrap. I'm peckish. I'm a little peckish.

I think I should have a soft pretzel. Ooh, I wish I had a fucking soft pretzel. You know, dip a pretzel in mustard. Get some mustard. I'm gonna go eat the closest thing to a soft pretzel. I have her put the mustard on before it arrives to me because I don't like dealing with that while in bed. That rules.

I love that. All with that while in bed. That rules. I love that. All right, let's wrap. What do you get to as pretzel? PKA 743, check out the link.