Painkiller Already - PKA 747: High School Fight Stories

Episode Date: April 12, 2025

PKA 747, just the boys this week. Taylor? This episode of PKA is brought to you by Acorns, Lock and Load, and our merchandise. How are you boys doing? Just the lads tonight, I like that sometimes. We can say all the slurs that we usually aren't allowed to say. All the slurs.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't know what I'm gonna bring out tonight. I'm thinking about something old school. I wanna take it back to antebellum, you know what I mean? bring out tonight. I'm thinking about something old-school. I want to take it back antebellum You know what I mean? I want to go back to good old days when the ladies wore them big old dresses I like that you get so ready It's so old times racist it circles back around to classy

You know we talked about what we're our opening topic was gonna be and it wasn't this a glass Sometimes you hit record and then you just just stream of consciousness. The whole time. He raised his word. You know, that's where Southern bail on my knee bouncing. Why some old buck chops the firewood out back. Now that's fine. Talking about what did you want to start with again?

Fucking no, man. Oh, the that was minutes ago. That was that was that was 90 seconds ago. We had a thing, boys. We literally were like, all right, we got marching orders. We're going to talk about this. The Kill Tony thing that was. Oh, yeah, that was cool. No. So I think everybody knows that probably

kill Tony with Tony Hinchcliffe and Shane Gillis is on there often and just that whole cast and crew has been rocking it on for a while I'm it's super popular. I always watch it on YouTube I don't know if they got a side or anything, but it's number two on TV Netflix now. They Netflix picked it up That's a huge deal. I think for that group of people and for that style of comedy and I think To fight the culture war, it's important that we got soldiers on the Eastern front and that's what Netflix's homepage is.

You know what I mean? Like it's great. Yes. How do you not? How do you not see them as our culture warriors? The people that are on there making fun of like all, they're the ones who were able to make fun of uh Donald Trump or RFK and not make it like this weird like personal thing that just it's actually funny it's not about

them just being mad and they're writers yeah and they have like the guest song that I'm mad at you comedians making fun of Trump do hit differently than the this is funny. This is just personal for them. It would be like if a comedian was making jokes about his wife's new boyfriend all the time. Let me tell you what else Mark did. Haha! He thinks he's cool! He thinks he's cool. My kid thinks he's cool too. I want to hear this stat. I do want to hear this stat. I'm interested. You have me locked in. I mean he cries after five minutes. It's going to be sad.

When I heard Kill Tony was on the front page of Netflix and I've seen Kill Tony clips, I haven't watched it like beginning to end. I just it gets on Reddit a lot, like some of the funnier stuff. I think to myself, this Joe Rogan is the current comedy kingmaker and put politics aside, this isn't about politics. I don't think he's anointing the right kings. I don't think Tom Segura and his wife are all that funny. I don't think Bert Kreischner is all that funny.

I don't think Brendan Schwab's all that funny. I think that if there's a comedian in the Joe Rogan universe, he's probably second rate, except Shane Gillis. Let's take him and put him on a pedestal. I'm not talking about him. But most of the, who's the fucking skinny guy who does tons of drugs? He does he drug Bert Kreischler as well. Yeah, Ari. That's not funny. It's yes, please. I think he's very funny

I like that other deadpan guy and that is with Shane Gillis Mark Norman Mark Norman one of those two Yeah, yeah mark. He's like one-liner Yeah, he's got like almost a Jesnick thing going on. Deliver, I like. I agree with you 100% on shop. Obviously that's his boy that he drug out of CTE to get out.

Get out there if anyone has been made like kind of a given more than perhaps they deserved on their plate. It might be him, but in Christure. I was going to hit back with that. I'm like dude that guy got a movie out of his like friendship with Rogan yeah one joke movie out of one really good joke from 20 years ago you're my Christure

you're talking about Christure yeah yeah yeah oh I thought I said Schwab I think I think Shob is is the one that got drug out of seat is I was saying drug from a CTE out into a bit of notoriety. Maybe he didn't deserve, but Christchurch has that, I can't remember which comedian roasted him. She was like, oh Bert, I love your bit. It might've been Nikki Glaser. So yeah, I love your joke.

Is he really the, look, the machine. I remember the first time I heard the machine on XM radio, like 15 years ago, maybe. Yeah, is he really the look the machine I remember the first time I heard the machine on XM radio like 15 years ago Maybe and I was like that is the funniest fucking story that I have ever heard Like if they if any of that's true good on him, but I agree I'm not a huge fan of the comedy and all as far as like kill Tony those that stands on its own like like like Rogan isn't on there frequently. He's on there occasionally Tony those that stands on its own like like like um, Rogan isn't on there frequently. He's on there occasionally

uh, and they do gangbusters with or without him the whole when they have that guy do RFK and they've got his new this guy doing um, I don't know their names. It's probably people I know and I just can't tell through the makeup but um, the guy they've got doing Musk now looks like a freak like they've got this whole like all this facial makeup on him and he does a pretty good must does he look like Rogan? No, he looks like a freak. Like they've got this whole like all this facial makeup on him and he does a pretty good must. Does he look like Rogan? No, he looks like a monster. I thought he wasn't funny at all. I could hardly sit through the 90 seconds of it that I saw. And you'd think I'd like it because they're like making fun of the people I don't like right

now. No, take politics out of it. It was just inherently not funny. It was the one I saw. He was next to Joe Rogan, and they're like, look how uncomfortable Joe Rogan is because he's mocking Elon Musk and Rogan. And I'm like, all right, I mean, I'll concede Rogan looked a little uncomfortable, but mostly the guy was just being wildly unfunny. Yeah, I thought that was very funny. I thought I haven't seen that. He does that sort of electric cars at Mars in just a few years. And he's like doing that stuttering, can't get it out kind of thing. I thought that was great.

And the thing about it is I do play video games and I'm not faking. And I'm certainly not mad about it. Dude, poor guy. Poor guy. Didn't he get caught faking gaming again? No, no, not really. Or allegedly? Oh, the streaming abuse.

He's just trying to play Path of Exile online. They're being mean to him. Okay, I saw the clip of him doing that and I didn't see any of the stuff of people being mean to him in chat. It was just a, I saw the comments about it, but I saw just him, the camera behind him and he's looking at a screen and he was like, when you guys game, do you go like this And like actively turn your head all around the screen to follow what's going on, or do you just like you just use your eyes to do that? And so it looked like he was like he was an a theater actor who someone was like play video games. Like he had been looking at chat like he was playing the game.

It was all around. He did look a little weird while he was doing it. And since he's already been exposed once. He's coming from a private plane over the Atlantic somewhere. So he's like in a weird setup. There's probably people all behind him that he's telling like, find a way to block these trolls.

But they were being super mean and toxic. They were like, Grimes never loved you. You'll never, the insecurity will never go away. You'll always feel it inside. Like all the true inviting. You'll, you'll never, the insecurity will never go away. You'll always feel it inside. Like you have no true friends. You'll die alone. Like, and by the way, it's not like you have no true friends. You're trying spam to 130 times, just, you know, like chatting, going wild, pasting the same thing. I'm, I forget which one of his baby mamas it was, but it's like, I'm Christy Grimes.

This is the only way I have to get in touch with you. Please say, please pay your child support. I'm hungry. No, like he, he takes so many L's online in regard to the gaming thing. It shocks me that he keeps going back to that. Well, because clearly he wants to be seen as like an S tier elite gamer. For some reason. I don't know why that's so important to him.

Like we all play games. It's his culture and it's what he does. But none of us claim to be the best at whatever it is we're doing. Yeah. Sometimes we get good at a thing, but we've seen what great is and don't pretend to be that guy.

I've seen Landmark, I've seen Star Chris. That's he's a Souls gamer like I am. And they're not like me. Like it's something better. Elon, though, he's got to pretend he's better than Landmark. What do you do? It's weird. Yeah, it's weird because when it's a game that you play,

you can immediately recognize that other level. Like you said, Landmark is a good example. When I watch Landmark play, I'm like, I'll never do that. I don't care how much I practice all day, every day. It ain't never happening. You know, for well geared guys, this is a good opportunity to hide in a closet until they pass. Dude, I love when he locks in, you'll see it come, you'll see like a calm wash over landmark. He'll go into kill mode.'s impressive but but yeah, I don't know why he

Is so insecure that he wanted that to be a thing, you know, he's already got so much going for him That's just black and white inked on paper that you don't need to be like the number two POE player in the world Right could have been like yeah top 500 player and I've been blown away You know and I believe in blown away, you know? And I'd have believed it. Regular person. Like, I'm learning a new game. All right, I'm the best on the planet at running businesses

and I'm learning this new game. That's fine. Why does he have to pretend he's elite? Yeah, and it's so unbelievable. Like we've talked about it before, like the amount of yes men he'd have to have around him to be like, yeah, definitely. You run all these companies and we should also make you the best gamer in the world.

Not one person's like, hey, Elon, kind of a weird look makes it look like you're not focusing on the companies you're supposed to be running. Also everyone can see you play the game and see how slow your inputs are. It would be like me lying that I could run a five minute mile. And then the video evidence is just like a Kenyan guy in a me mask. And it's like no effort at all. Just get, if I was a multi-billion everyone around is like Taylor, such a good idea. Release it.

I love the idea of claiming you could run a five minute mile or not even a Kenyan in a mask, right? Like just you running a 12 minute mile. Moving around fast close to the camera. I'm in a, I'm in rollerblades. And so like the, the camera is just constantly ankle high. Like yes, I have a very strange running gates,, but it services my quickness. I'm so efficient. I actually don't move up and down at all. It's perfect stripe. And also I'm the best gamer of ever. Yeah. And he had clearly paid that guy off.

Yeah, it's awfully cringe. And it's shocking that someone, literally the most wealthy man on the planet outside of you know those Saudi folk who are like royalty and such you know that he doesn't have some guy who could be like ah they won't believe that one huh do you think they're wealthier this like oh yeah I know they yeah yeah you know okay loyal people aren't included in those lists and so like they don't put Saudi Royal family. They don't put like Roth's child. They don't put like royalty. I made this up so it's probably wrong,

but I'm like, is it because that wealth is shared? Like I'm told the Walmart family rivals the biggest names on the rich list, but you have to combine them into like one entity. That's true with them. Yeah. With the route, with the sort, with the rowdy soils, the Saudi Royals, do they like,

are they that rich individually or are you collective? They're so rich individually that they're probably like number one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven richest people in the world. That motion of oil they sit upon that they're allowed to tap at whatever rate they want. So they can, you know, it's not just the value of the oil they sit upon, right? It's the with OPEC and all the market manipulation they can do, which we hate in America. We would never stand for market manipulation here.

OK, free markets. Free markets. What an oxymoron. My God. It was funny. I was messaging y'all on WhatsApp and I was like, Hey, this company is the one that handles all of the US shipping to China. It's $100 a share. It's down like 40% for the year. And then it went like up 7% like on the day, like immediately when Trump said his thing. And then like it went the other way, right down to 100. And then today back up to 107. But today with. Yes, he's it's gone.

It's hard to look. It's hard to track of it because the market's been up and down and it keeps having these little bumps mostly down. Let's see, what's it? I wouldn't know. I've seen a lot of red. And I've seen a lot of you. We lost about a year's worth of growth under Trump's last 80 days. We lost half of yesterday's rebound today. Why don't they let you search by seven days?

Why is it only five day window? They ask if my work days In the past five days We're down point four six percent, but in the last month, we're down six points one seven percent Is that what do you mean do you mean like Literally, I literally just met the SMP 500 sure. Yeah. I Don't know what the fuck's going to happen. It's quite the roller coaster ride with Trump. They said that the bonds market freaked him out and he backed off. I see the tariffs on China are 124% now. China's coming back with 84-85% talking about banning American movies. I wish China would

ban our movies. How would that impact our movie industry? It would take the Chinese influence out of our movie industry. And maybe at least that would be gone. Every fucking movie that I see that they want a worldwide box office, they've got the inexplicably placed cute Chinese girl. Like, all right, we're going to go to the moon. But the American ship blew up. Oh, turn out China have one. And we give it to you

America. Just think of a pretty lady. You can fly. All I know about like um uh the Chinese movie industry is like Marvel will release Black Panther or something and all of China will be like oh we don't want to watch Black Panther. Yeah that one didn't. Asian man. It's not a Chinese. It should be Chinese. Jack Panther. Yeah, that one didn't Asian man. You're not a Chinese should be Chinese. Yeah, it's interesting what what like does well in their movie markets. I saw that thing a while back with Xi Jinping. Like, how did we miss Kung Fu Panda? How did we find that up?

It's like it. I think I've talked about it before. It'd be like if the Americans, if the Chinese made a movie called American Cowboy Man, and it was the number one movie in the world all of a sudden. And we were like, how did the Chinese make American Cowboy Man? How did we miss that? That would be embarrassing. I've been watching all the people freaking out online at the Minecraft movie, which is making a ton of money, by the way. It wasn't supposed to. I think a lot of people were worth it. There was some a little bit of backlash on Jack Black

I think when is his co-singer his co-star said Trump should have been shot way back when But the my person in Minecraft said that none. No Jack Black's partner from tenacious D. Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Kyle guess yeah, he did say something over the line. I forget the specifics, but. I give him a pass. Don't miss next time. Yeah. Is that what I love? I actually, I thought The Pick of Destiny

was a very funny movie. It's great. In early college. And so he gets a pass. Kyle Gass gets a pass. I watch it now. That's a great movie. Wait, which one is your favorite Jack Black movie? I'm sorry, Kyle.

The Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny. It's the one where it's like R rated and I haven't seen it in so long, but I remember watching it like on a break from college with friends and being like, oh, this is funny. Like it's just a funny musical basically. At the end they have like, you know,

the old country song, The Devil Went Down to Georgia and Johnny plays his fiddle against the devil for his soul stacked up against a golden fiddle. They kind of do that They play the devil but they have a rock-off against the devil and they they have a giant Satan there You know and makeup and everything. It's it's a good fun movie But anyway, people go and ham in this Minecraft movie theater thing Why it's just it's exactly why I don't go to the movies anymore. Like like this is an extreme issue.

I know every movie isn't literally teenage boys ripping their shirts off, shooting silly string, starting fights and throwing popcorn everywhere. I hate that. I can't imagine. Imagine paying for that and being there and being part of that. Be like, what the fuck is happening right now in front you're too fat What about the Minecraft movie is in Yeah

There's a specific scene that they're doing it in and I don't know enough about Minecraft or that scene to like speak to it, but it's something about a chicken scene to like speak to it. But it's something about a chicken and a boxing ring or some shit. I don't know. I keep seeing that. That's the clip everybody freaks out about when the boxing scene starts. I don't know and don't care because it's going to be stupid, Taylor. But, uh, okay. But are they, are they loving the scene so much they're losing their minds? Like, like girls watching Elvis or they hate the scene so much they're destroying the need. No, no, no, no, no. Is it a Rocky Horror picture thing where it's just how you interact with a movie?

This is a TikTok trend about being a scumbag. I hate that. This is a TikTok trend about being awful when this scene comes on and like everybody, they're having to call the police, the movie theaters and drag people out. I wish they'd shoot them. Do you know TikTok TikTok still Chinese owned?

Of course it is. Yeah. I don't think that ever. They were going to ban it and then they agreed to like sell it to some American company and then Trump did the tariffs and China's like, you know what? Suck a dick. We're not selling it. What was the TikTok deal? Was it like, I remember something about like, we want an American company to own half of it so they have some control over the content or was that not right? Yeah, that's it. And they're just extending it. They're kicking it down the road.

I don't use TikTok at all. Extending it until five days ago, he could say, I guess. Oh yeah. He dumped it 60 days, Zach says. I know the deadline was like last week. Indeed five days ago, I guess. Yeah. I think Trump blinked. That's my point. On the bonds thing is what they're saying. They're saying that like people started selling off US treasuries or something like that.

Yeah, I saw China was selling a bunch of them. Because I guess that's like, that's part of their way to fight back is being like, oh, we do this and then you can't lower interest rates. It's not your bond market. I don't know enough to know. I just saw that and I'm like, those are finance words. I have a lot of economics background. What happened is JD Vance didn't say thank you. JD Vance doesn't say thank you. Well, that's why we had to fucking back off our tears. I think JD Vance would be the one who always back off the tariffs, though. He increased them on China. Like I'm sharing everywhere else. They backed off. It seemed like the rest of the world around America. And we were using it. We were talking to the context of the bonds market and that I'm seeing people saying that's what made Trump reverse course was the Chinese sell off of US bonds or treasury notes or whatever.

And yet he increased the tariffs on John at 124%. He had this tweet that was like, if you don't retaliate, it'll be easier on you. Like if something like that, that sounded so like domestic abuse, rapey. He's trying to bend Xi Jinping over Barrel, but Xi doesn't want that. It'll go better for you if you don't. So now like, I think China is the only country that has like bananas tariffs on it and everyone else is on the 10%. Everyone else is negotiating and he's dropped it back to wherever it was. Some baseline previous to this week. So I think it was 10. It's still 25 on like the car stuff with Canada and Mexico and the cars and steel.

Yeah, I think some of specific things are higher than 10. Most things are 10. But again, it's always like about to take effect and about to change. There's no stability in this. It's based on Trump's moods and tantrums. I think he's trying to negotiate. Look, whether he does negotiate better deals or not is its own thing. But I think the goal of this is to drive people in negotiation. And that's what they're signaling as well. Him the other day saying, Oh, you would believe the world leaders. They're all calling me. They're kissing my ass. They're begging. It's like, dude,

why are you saying this out loud? It's like you're negotiating right there. Like, yeah. What are you going to do? Elections have consequences, Taylor. No, no, this that's totally art of the deal, Kyle. You go, you go, we're going to put tariffs on and then the market goes 10% tariffs, boo. And then he goes, nah, scratch that, 2 million percent tariffs. And then the market goes crazy again. And then he goes 5 million percent tariffs. And then two days later, he goes back to 10% and everything else on China stays. And then it's like, well, then why didn't you just start with that? I think, well, he's responding to China,

you know, increasing their tariffs. He redoubled. They were at 124%. That's what does an iPhone cost at that point with 124% tariff? I see the people talking about like, you know, what it would cost to build an iPhone in America. If anyone is talking about building an iPhone in America, they're either a moron if they're from the right and they're saying, we can do it. Or they're propagandizing if they're from the left. Like there's no, there's no other way around it.

We're not gonna make iPhones here. We're gonna make them in India. Why do you think about India versus China making our phones? I mean, I don't care either way. Something about, I somehow, the Koreans make my phone. I trust the Koreans more than either. There you go. There you go. That's what, that's what Trump should have said. He should have, he should have like went to Korea and been like, Hey, why don't we make the whole U US the Samsung capital of the world?

This is a problem. You know, you've got all this market share in Europe and Asia and none in like the home of freedom. That's not right. Like that's how you should fight the Chinese instead of this. Why not Apple? They're an American company. Yeah, but they're going to make it in India anyway. That's not going to make it here. So like go straight to the horse in Korea where they make the Samsung

phone that's already their direct competitor, and that'll let you put pressure on China because in the end, what you want is trying to make your shit anyway, just to be more fair about. Yeah, I guess that would be the end. That's what I want. I can't speak for President Trump. I feel like I'm a few who can know what I'm looking for. I like.

Why is it good for it to be built in China? It seems like they're one of my last choices. I'd rather have India, Korea, Vietnam, Brazil. I pick it there like China's the last company. I'm sorry, because of their adversarial rich. Yeah, yeah, like I'm no genius, but it does seem bad to be like, well, there's these really important things and the only place we make them is in our greatest enemy. And it's like, I don't think that China wants like, like, look, I don't,

I don't think that I know that China is an adversary, certainly a, um, for global, like, influence and power economically and all that. But they're not like a Nazi Germany that we have to worry about, like coming and getting us or anything. They might eat one of their neighbors. They might eat up Taiwan. But I don't think they're looking to swap bombs with the United States of America. I saw a fun stat the other day. They're like, China hasn't dropped a bomb in 40 years. The United States drops 45 a minute. I just don't

think that they want a war with us. I think that we should negotiate some kind of a deal. And I don't mind them making stuff for us. I get that you don't want all your bullets to be made in an enemy's territory. I get that. There's to be some diversification. But clearly, we have a global supply line and a global way of doing things that's the smoothest, most efficient way already. And that's having China make our stuff in their factories. I just don't want to go back to some other way. I don't know what that would be. Yeah. Well, we need some like the COVID stuff did show us like,

yeah, we can't be reliant on them in like times of crisis because they're going to be like, oh, that's super fascinating. You need this from us. We're taking care of our own first. And so you can fucking get in line. It's like, all right. Well, that's not ideal. Did that happen?

I didn't feel like the production went. Yeah, like they're like they manufacture a lot of our PPE stuff, if I recall. And there was a huge backlog of it. Oh, it was like, well, we're making stuff for us. And you guys don't know how to make this anymore because you sent it to us. So I don't blame for that one bit. Like, like, like, well, I'm not saying that's their problem. It's our problem.

Like, we should be able to step in in times of emergency. We did eventually. It was just a delay. The idea, I saw a thing, they had homes on Etsy made our PPE instead. Yes. Yeah. Look, none of it worked. None of it worked anyway, or did it?

I don't even know. They went back and I wish they did. If COVID has what you want to believe, as far as I could tell. It again, I'm going to invest in like a, like a plague doctor mask and put, put potpourri in it. Old style. I saw those. That would be cool. I saw people wearing those. Like you can get away with not, I absolutely did. Yeah.

You saw people wearing plague doctor masks. People doing it online. I didn't see. Yeah, that's what I mean. I didn't go out during COVID. You crazy? I was so afraid of getting sick. You went out to a gym every single night. At 3.30 AM bathed in like a purifier. I was clean, Taylor. I was pure. I don't know. I'm sure you were the first person in the gym that day. Actually, at 3 a.m. maybe.

It's airborne. What am I saying? It's airborne. It's an airborne illness that dies in the air after seconds. No, because that was at the time where they were like, it can live on surfaces for two weeks and you're like, time to bench.

I promise you, when I was in there, never once did I touch my face like it wouldn't happen. The idea of me touching my face is a foreign concept because of acne from a kid you touch your face you put bacteria in your face. I don't touch my face at all. So like during that that was never happening. My hand when I would open my water bottle I would use my shirt to like open the lid on the water bottle if I needed to do something.

I promise you I didn't not only did I not get COVID ever, I didn't get a cold for like two years during that whole thing. I didn't get a bug, nothing. I mean, despite all the traffic of people coming in and out of your house. Yeah. You got anything?

I would think you would have caught something or even from time to time still catch something from like the uncommon, but definitely out there surly uber eats or door dash driver. You make it sound like I wasn't interacting with people every day. I was probably like look I mean I would have girls over two or three times a week and then I was going to the gym every single night dealing with people. I was constantly around people. I was very careful. I feel like the people who got sick weren't very careful. They just didn't care. So they deserve what they got. True. It's kind of like diabetes. It's exactly like diabetes.

Type one and two. They tell you that that type one, no, they all do it themselves. And sorry about your father-in-law, but he deserved what he got. No, they all do it themselves. Sorry about your father-in-law, but he deserved what he got. He shouldn't have been out there trying to stay fit. I know Graham Graham is dead now, but she's the one who shook the UPS guy's hand. Yeah, she's the one who brought that package in from outside so selfishly. But that didn't do it either, you know? One of her blood pressure medicines.

I don't think the coronavirus being Yeah, I don't think the the virus, the coronavirus being like alive on surfaces is even a thing. No, but that at the time they were saying that and that's because I remember everybody was spooked about that for a while. It was like this shit lives on surfaces for two weeks. How? I didn't know that. I do remember the like something looking at the boxes on my porch being like, what am I like? I guess I'll just grab it.

I'm not gonna wait two weeks. Am I supposed to spray it with alcohol? You did. My groceries would come in, I would spray everything down. I would spray every bit of it. I would put them away with gloves. I'd wipe every product down. I wasn't sure what was real and what worked, right? After 9-11, we engaged in security theater

in fucking outrageous ways, and it made me frustrated. You know, they, hey, Kyle, is there a bomb in your bag? No, all right, well, I feel safer now that I've asked, right, like that is theater. That's not actually security. And I was trying not to do a parallel of that for COVID. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely didn't do any box sanitizing or I mean, I wore the mask. If I went in somewhere and they're like, you have to wear a mask. But like here in Missouri, like that ended

after a year where like they kind of just stopped asking and people stopped dealing with it. What a weird time that was. I miss it. I really do. I enjoyed that so much. I liked wearing the mask too. I felt like nobody wanted to talk. You could just, uh, you just slide on by nobody wanted to jibber jabber. You liked wearing the mask? Oh, I liked it a little bit. Yeah. I, I, all the girls are hotter. I was walking. It was like living in an Arab society

They did a study on that that people in masks looked more attractive than people without masks apparently you tend to fill in the blanks with something better than reality and I just felt good like I don't know like I could be alone inside my mask if that was my choice. Sure. Oh, I hated it. I hated the mask. Everybody I knew like in real life, like nobody liked it. It was just like, hey, if you want a whiskey river barbecue burger today at Red Robin,

then you gotta fucking wear this mask. On the way to your table. Then we have to wave this magic disease wand over you and you wear the mask nine feet and then and only then can you remove it and breathe freely. That part was crazy. That was theater. And we all took part of it because if you didn't they'd take you to jail. There would be no there were no Whiskey River barbecue burgers to be had if you didn't play ball. I don't know about jail but I saw it man you know they you know you saw them those soccer moms getting locked up at football games

They were sitting in the bleachers by themselves like a lady by herself cheering a kid on I did And they came in arrested her and hauled her away. It happened time and time again. Yeah, that's pretty pretty ridiculous Hey, I mean, I don't mind that and you put your mask on lady. We took we doing yeah Are you five and a half feet from him? the disease knows well you doing? Yeah. Are you five and a half feet from him? The disease knows. Well, like I'm there for like that idea on principle of blocking someone up who refuses to wear their mask in a public space with the rest of it. I'm there for that, I guess, in principle. But the problem was the theater that you just mentioned, the fact that we can walk to the table without it on, that you'd see those

political rallies where nobody would wear them. Like if it was when Black Lives Matter was out burning everything down and there'd be a crowd of 10,000 of them out there jumping around in the streets doing gang signs like, oh, democracy manifest. And it's beautiful. Look at that. Yeah. It was at the same time they were like, hey, you can't buy a delicious order of wings from this local eatery.

But if you wanna burn down this post office, then just do it with like the right shirt on and they won't, that was so wild. You guys are denying the science that a flaming car fixes COVID. Mm-hmm. Fuck, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. That's why I didn't get it.

All those fumes. All those years of flaming cars. COVID can't live in that environment. That's actually why Ritten get it. All those fumes. COVID can't live in that environment. That's actually why Rittenhouse smirked those guys is he's like six feet, stay back, stay back. Then they tried to fuck, they tried to get him sick and he goes bow. No bicep for you.

Yeah. I don't know what he's up to. Every interview I see with him, it's like, he doesn't represent himself very well at all. No, in what way? He's seems like a stupid person But a good shot. Yeah I do he makes up for it marksmanship. I Mean like you think that you think rascal McGovern's looks at him with envy like damn

That guy got shot three people and two were pedos Some that he's like got a poster of him above his bed Yeah, I don't know what written house is up to yeah, it was two pedos and the third one wasn't The yeah, I don't remember what the breakdown was one of the guys in the shape was a pedo. All welcome to be gone. Dude, the skateboarder, like the balls to see somebody with a rifle and be like, I can close the gap. It's like, no, you fucking can't. You've got to one foot thing is just so cops can kill people.

It's not. Yeah. People have no respect for guns, I guess, or maybe they just think that they're going to punk the guy. Maybe they've seen too many movies because that's what happens in the movies all the time, you know, and the movies, the guy points a gun at you and the cool guys like you don't have the balls and it'll like put his finger in the barrel or slap it away. He'll punk that guy, right? Yeah. And like, well, like the guy will be the guy back all over his face. The guy will back down in the movies. And I mean, it happens all the time. It's more likely that the guys are not shooting you.

But in real life, people are like, fuck you, bang, bang, bang. And they shoot you up. I saw a video today. Exactly that people feel like they're in India or Pakistan. And they were messing with this cop who has his pistol out. He's got it out. And he's saying gibber gibber gibber jabber. And they're like gibber gibber gibberber jabber and they come at him three wide two

women and a man slap slapping him and trying to get the gun away and he's trying to pistol whip them away but after a while he goes bang and shoots the guy right in the thigh. I've never seen this one. Did the other two immediately go away? No they kept fucking with him as the guy walks around in circles going like no I got five more bullets of this Yeah, right. He was just like Peter Griffin when he fell and skin his knee though. He was Yeah, a huge hole in his thigh like this man's got a fucking gun out leave Leaky, what are y'all doing? You see John Moray it fucking run run Like I don't get those people who have no respect for somebody with a fucking gun. Those are only finger guns Kyle

You're okay. Yeah, they were showing the the Trump supporter I use air quotes cuz who fucking knows probably who was threatening those people at the at that at that crowd the other day He had his AR 15 out in the street And they were fucking with him and it's like look he's probably in the wrong. I got probably a douchebag Why he's got his AR out and it's like look he's probably in the wrong. I got probably a douchebag Why he's got his AR out, but it's like leave him alone. He has his AR out that it looks like a good one Why they're missing with it we able to get any kind of back? I it was one it looked like they were gathered at like the red light Protesting with signs and stuff and maybe he got out like this is Trump's American now

Like maybe something like that went down, but I don't know all the context it's usually something like that I didn't see the middle of the road protest was it one of those no it wasn't where they had everything shut down exactly I haven't signed those wild like yeah yeah I saw a ton of protests I saw there a ton of protests across the country I didn't see anything here in Atlanta like like in town when I drove through the other day I didn't see anything here in Atlanta like like in town when I drove Through the other day. I didn't see anything when it was going on No count to the untrained eye that may appear to be a groundswell of organic dislike of something happening

But the reality here is it's George W Soros. It might be W. You don't know his middle initial You don't know his middle initial. Don't we? I actually don't. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I saw a lot of cope around those protests where people are like, it's fucking, these people are all paid. These people are all paid.

And it's like, okay, well, do you, can you prove that to me? That's why I don't think they're paid. Because for something like that to be true, we're talking about like 30,000 people all keeping a secret. Not one hostile actor getting in there, getting a paycheck and posting it on his camera, showing how this organization paid him.

Zero of that. This whole paid actors thing is it seems like cope Yeah, or can you imagine how much of a loser you would feel if you're like walking around in a pussy hat and Then afterward like at the bar. They're all like yeah drinks on me from the protest money, and you're like what? You guys got paid Just here for the love of the guy. I was just trying to get pussy in D.C. I think I doubt they're paid, but I think there have been situations where they were like transported or bust and their signs often match.

Whenever I see matching signs that are well made, that doesn't look like one person individually went in their garage and made a sign. Like that's usually it's like, where'd we get all the signs? We're sitting, just working. I can't believe it. Yeah. It's all about, they all agreed to meet at a place and someone hands out talking points or whatever,

or chant lines, but that doesn't mean they're paid. Who's paying? Like, are we getting together Kumbaya style making these signs? I bet not. I bet that's where the paid for thing comes from. I bet there's a liberal group who's like showing up and being like, here's a whole pile of poster boards and we got them all printed

out for y'all and y'all wanted the brown sticks, right? I don't know. When I saw Congress with those sticks, I was like, y'all didn't make them. Who made them? I mean, I could have them. I just wonder who made them. I could believe that like there are some people at, regardless right or left, that are paid to be there some Like agitators or something who knows but like the idea of what some people claim which is that like 20,000 people like everyone there is is like part of some know about it. It's like there's just Doesn't pass monster. Yeah, I thought if I could like go on Craigslist or wherever they would post this and they're like, hey, come down here and protest for, you know, $150 for the afternoon. I don't know what the rates are.

If that were true, that'd be the easiest job ever. Go down there and do that a little bit. Because there's something kind of similar to that. And the right takes complete advantage of it. It makes them look like fools when they do it. It's called a gun buyback. They will have these gun buybacks where they're like, bring your gun, no questions asked. We'll give you $300, drop it in the box and these guys will make the bare minimum for what is considered a firearm, legally speaking. So it's technically a gun and it'll cost $13 and they'll just start selling them to the police at a profit and they'll just start selling them to the police at a profit. And they ruin those things.

I like the other one where it's like you trade in your AR for $1,500 and I'm out there offering 1600 for it. Like, you know, they're not paying you enough. No, that's smart. That's good too. Undercutting it. I remember those NRA commercials when I was a kid and they were showing they were showing the UK and they had all these beautiful over and under sporting shotguns and they were using a chop saw one after another to destroy them just right down

through the middle just one after another and I remember us watching that commercial and being like how much money can we send? How much money can we send? Because it was like watching like a puppy mill or like, to me, those things are beautiful works of art. Like those are not the guns that are doing violence upon anyone. Those were expensive works of art, craftsmen, artisans worked on those, the metal work, the leafing,

the wood was probably sourced from some fucking fancy forests And they're just one after another chopping them in half You know who's happy to see those destroyed or like all the on looking birds on the high wire Every every horny Nigerian with a three inch blade is happy to see those things get chopped in a half. That too. I saw one day in the head for an immigrant. There's some politician lady, a low level Democrat from Colorado or something, and it

was literally like a comedy sketch where she's in her backyard with fucking goggles on and a saw, a mechanical saw to cut this gun apart. And she's like, there's no reason to have these guns in America. These are weapons of war. And then she just like immediately, illegally saws the barrel off to where it's now like a short barreled rifle. And it's still totally functional. That doesn't make it not work, taking the barrel off. And she's like, see, that's how easy it is. And every comment's like, that's a class one felony. What she just did, does anybody keep an eye on this?

Why cut the barrel off? You're trying to destroy it. Because it's the easy part to cut. I guess so, yeah, you're trying to make a quick TikTok. You're not gonna really grind through the whole thing. Yeah, I don't even know if we have an ATF director. I saw the removed Cash Patel and put somebody else in there maybe today or yesterday. No, wait. So he's still FBI, but he's not ATF?

Correct. Okay. Has the ATF done anything good? I'm not the one to ask about that. Well, OK, they've done one good thing. They got one mystery and off the streets. I have any ATF news, so I'm guessing they just haven't been active. I don't know. I see every now and then I'm getting like on my feed, like,

like gun legislation stuff. Like they don't like the way certain things are going. Uh, but I don't, I don't follow that at all. No, I don't really had any issues with ATF, but a lot of other people have, you know, that, that Ruby rich thing and that, um, you know, the, the branch Davidians that all got burnt alive. ATF, ATF andbi. Yeah Okay, I think the guys go Yeah, millennia like that was Janet Reno, right and um, bill clinton. Was that her name?

Reno that sounds right to me. Yeah, she was clinton's maybe I know it was like 94 I think and I know 94 was clinton. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Um, that's awful. And then Ruby Ridge is even harder to watch and learn about. So when you see the heavy handed government agencies doing that sort of thing to private citizens, it's a little concerning. Little concerning.

What would, Woody, you're the only one that would have memory of this in 93 when this happened. What was like, what was the news and what were people saying the branch Davidians were all about? Like what what'd they say? They said it was a cult that, is it David Koresh? Was he the leader? He was banging all the women in it and that they all worshiped him and he made himself to be some sort of Jesus that they were heavily armed and they were dangerous. That was kind of my takeaway. And to be honest, I haven't been re-educated since. Were those things not true? Yeah. I think that we had Wendigo. Wendigo. Yeah, he talked about it briefly. He had done some research on it because like the crux of the issue is whether there was child molestation going on.

um Because I think what we were told was that there were these pamphlets that were teaching the kids like about sex with adults and like, you know, I think the david carech was The idea what was said was that he was having sex with not just the women but all the females basically he had made himself a harem uh type situation and they were clearly armed and dangerous um and a cult so all that is seemingly true but you know they burnt all the children alive so yeah probably would have been better off getting molested if you think about it i looked at it through the lens of move.

No one knows about moved, but I lived outside Philly when it happened, maybe 1985. If that's not right, it's darn close. And those people fucking sucked. And they made a mistake by dropping a fire bomb on top of connected homes to burn out many innocent people. Okay, okay. When a city block burned down, perhaps it went wrong, but it was the same sort of thing. Like they went in there with those people needed to be dealt with.

They were terrorizing that thing in the way that that is it Aurora, the Venezuelan gang. They were what Trinidad and Aragua is said to be, right? They were that. Can I read the description for those who, yeah, I think it happened before I was born. The move bombing also known as the Philadelphia move bombing was an incident that occurred on May 13th, 1985 when the Philadelphia police department dropped a satchel

bomb on a house in West Philadelphia, where members of the Black Liberation Group, MOVE, were residing. The bombing resulted in the deaths of 11 people, including five children, and the destruction of over 60 homes. The event remains a controversial topic, with some questioning the city's decision to use a bomb,

and the subsequent aftermath. Yeah. Yeah. So Kyle called it a house. I'm sure he read it correctly. It was a row home. So they were all connected. Yeah.

And they were, it wasn't a single family home. And that's how I got so out of control. They brought me from a helicopter, right? That's right. Yeah. I don't know. There were probably a lot of bad hombres in that block. There were a lot of truly terrible hombres. They were awful. They were terrorizing everyone around. They were selling drugs. They were victimizing people

physically. Like they were bad, bad, bad people that you don't want as neighbors. And the police kind of prioritize their own safety by dropping a bomb from a helicopter instead of going in there like a SWAT team. Yeah, move isn't a very intimidating cult or gang name. It sounds like a way to stay fit or something. I hadn't looked at it through like a clear lens. To me, move is the fucking worst. Like, but now that you say it. Move sounds like an all women's gym or something. It does, it does. It's like, oh man, they named their group But now that you say it, move sounds like an all women's gym or something.

Oh man, they named their group after what they don't do. If they pass you on a crowded sidewalk, throw a shoulder into you rudely. Yeah. Well, damn the move bombing. Yeah, they were the, to me they're the original branch Davidians, like, you know, bad hombres taking over something, kind of a cult. You don't want them as neighbors.

Police handled it all wrong. Possibly to prioritize their own safety. Go ahead. To be the big difference, white people, come on. No, they weren't in the middle of a city bothering people. They did the opposite of that. They went out in the middle of fucking nowhere and built a compound so they could do their own thing.

You would think some Americans would be able to see the beauty of that. That's how we came here to this beautiful country. Running from persecution of the Anglican Church, maybe. Just, you know, looking to look into. Look at that. I certainly won't. How long could they hold hold out? It would seem like siege tactics would be equally safe and effective.

I'll tell you what, if you make it so I can't come or leave. And by the way, deliveries don't come. We ran out of food in this house. We ran out of good food in like three or four days. We run out of crap food 10 days after that. And then we give ourselves up. Yeah, I think that they were prepared for something like that.

To give up on your speed, because you ran out of food that you liked. That's how I would do it. They'd be like, man, Oh, Mr. I'm down to salty. Like that's how I would do it. They'd be like, man, officer, I'm down to salty. Well, I mean, I got a bunch of old tilapia in the freezer and I'm not eating that and. They had stockpiles months worth of food. They had many months worth of food. They had many, they had dozens and dozens of 50 pound sacks of grain like they didn't just

have like hamburger helper they were ready they were they're prepared like for a medieval siege it was like that I was watching some Game of Thrones clips on YouTube the other day and it's the part where Jamie Lannister goes and he talks to the blackfish and he's like I have food for two years you have two years Kingslayer fuck I don like, fuck, I don't. All right. New plan. You cut my internet. I'll be out in three hours.

Yeah. Take your Xbox live out. You not much to do. Although you know, even your single player games don't work offline nowadays. I like to find in my house where fucking books and And so I gave up none of that. Yeah, I wouldn't like being under siege. That would suck. I'd rather be the besieger.

It'd be fun to realize now. Mm hmm. Yeah. The besieger is a great person to be because you get to like if I'm surrounding your house and it's five days in, it's like, all right, give me the most delicious smelling chicken wings and I'm going to eat them like within scent shot of him. And it's like, oh, I sure wish you'd come out here. We could share. I have chicken wings. I'm thinking of a medieval siege. I think I want to be the besieged. I want to be behind those city walls with like all my comforts while they sit out there

in the rain. I mean, not always. Some some sieges went the way of the besieged. I was I was learning about Tyre the other day. Alexander the Great Conquering Tyre. Have you have you ever looked into that story? So Tyre is off the coast significantly. It's this it was this island fortress. And Alexander couldn't take it because he'd have to come out with boats.

It's an island. So what he did was he went to the mainland and he built a fucking land bridge. He just started putting sand and rocks in the ocean until he built a land bridge all the way to Tyre. And then he could use his catapults from the land bridge and he conquered the city. And to this day, Tyre is not an island. Really? Yeah, he wanted it. Did they like replace the land bridge with a suspended bridge so you could drive through on your boat? His land bridge is sufficient.

It changed the geography. If you're a boat. Oh, well, now you can't. It's it. Show us a picture of tire. It'll be more not Tyree kill Google. No, he built a land bridge that is still there and part of the geography there. And it doesn't look like it was ever an island.

It's just a weird little peninsula that juts off from the coast now. Man, can you imagine how panic inducing that would like the emotional high you would have being like, even Alexander the Great can't conquer Tyre. What's he what the what's he fucking doing over there? So that's he doing over there. Oh, what is he trying to build a Brit? That couldn't work. Could that work? So that's a drawing, obviously. If you could find a modern, there you go. Perfect. If you could find a modern, there you go. Perfect. That's what it looks like now. Yeah, so it's expanded.

So that the width of it didn't used to be there? It did. I would imagine that it was smaller and then it accumulated over time. Maybe? I don't know. It was quite wide. Siege engines were firing from the land bridge he created, so they would have been wide. It definitely would have been that wide, but it was not some little causeway like narrow bridge like was depicted in that drawing.

It'd be funny if they shot cannonballs back at them and they're like, he just made the bridge better. Stronger. I don't think they had black powder yet. No, this is maybe in the far east. Long catapult still holds true Bridget just improving any amount of rocks that miss you become land That's like what that's what would have passed is like very wise back then Advisor what do I do? And it's like Alexander does not every shaft of arrow and missed stone become part of your marvelous bridge? And he's like, oh, fucking so true.

And then the other guy's like back in his tent. He's like, huh, safe for another day. I don't know. I'm going to keep coming up with this. This guy's getting smart. He's realizing I'm bullshitting. Alexander the Great was such a cool, such a cool historical figure. Like who was it that was it Napoleon or some other like master general had like bemoaned the fact that like

or maybe it was Stalin or something who was like, I'm fucking a loser. I'm 34. And when I was, you know, when Alexander the Great was 34, he already conquered most of the known world. I don't think he lived that long. I think by 28 or something. He conquered the known world. It's something wild like that They are they say that They say he conquered the known world, but Alright, so he's from Macedonia, right isn't Rome right there next to him He conquered on would have been east of Rome.

He absolutely would have been. But close. He went to India and conquered a bunch of India. He was willing to travel. But he didn't. Well, also the Middle East, North Africa. He did a lot. Yeah, like a huge, an enormous empire. I don't know who had the biggest empire of all time. I think it was Genghis Khan, but Alexander's is, you can see that's enormous. Yeah. Cool. That's Macedonia before he got all, before he was like, I need more. He, why didn't he, he didn't even conquer Greece. No, this is pre, that's not the extent of it. I don't believe Yeah, that's the extent of it cool. So that's a fucking lot Damn, just rolled into Persia and was like mine now bitch all of it Took Egypt. I mean like you see what I'm talking about. Look at Rome right there to his left

Just his next-door neighbor. He didn't conquer. I'm saying look well Rome was tougher. I'm sure Okay, I agree with that good excuse But don't say you conquered the known world when they've got a name for the people to your left and it's Rome I guess that's fair. Yeah, okay, he conquered He didn't get around to the I like that. Yeah, that would have been his like big to do getting Rome. But even then like 300 BC, I guess Rome was pretty fucking substantial by that point. They were.

I think that his men poisoned him. I think that's the conspiracy theory that they were tired of fighting and continuing this many years war for ever increasing empires of land they didn't need and they poisoned him. I've also read that perhaps he was buried alive. They think that maybe, I don't know where they based that on, but they thought that he might have been alive and suffering from some other illness that appeared like death when he died. There's a lot of conspiracy theories about Alexander's death. He was gay. I can't believe that. He was a very powerful guy. And so there would have been a big incentive. And I don't think he had, like that was one of the issues with Alexander's that there wasn't a great succession plan.

And so there was it was like given to fracturing and like different factions right after he died, all competing. And so how do you die? They died at 32, very young. I think I don't, I haven't looked it up, but I believe the story was like, he like became grievously ill rapidly. And then he died of a high fever. And back then that could be like some, some cook put some herb in his food that poisoned him and they would just think it's, Oh, he must have, well, you know, this warlord who has a thousand cuts. And we kind of know that like infections can happen from cuts and you can die. It must've been that. Right. It could have been an infection. It could have been poison.

It could have been an allergy. Right. I know he's, he's allergic to peanuts and they brought one in. That would be horrible. It'd be like, Oh, Lord Alexander, this wonderful food. But I was starting to say, like, everyone's compared themselves to someone great who's roughly their same age. I think Eric Lindros, the hockey player that Taylor's probably heard of, is one day older than me. And I'd be like, unless I'm a five time NHL all star by tomorrow, I'm going to score a lot of goals. I mean, let's say I have like back to back All-Star seasons and he gets hurt.

I could take his spot. Woody doesn't have any heart trophies. I got a little bit of trivia for you, Taylor. Do you know where our numbers, our numerals that we use come from where they come from Roman numerals, that's the ones I use Really? It must be hard to subtract. Yeah, that would be very Multiplication why everything's incalculable Kyle. Yeah, it's like a trick question like like Arabic numerology Numerology we use Arabic numbers, right?

That's the conspiracy theory. Yeah. Oh, well, fill me in, man. Now they're Indian numerals. The numbers were invented by India and an Arab. Bullshit. Bullshit. And an Arab took those numbers and then he invented algebra and a number of other more complex

Indian looking at him. I don't know what they're doing with them. They hadn't figured out algebra yet though. The Arabs figured that out with the Indian numerals, but we call them Arabic numerals. So I always thought they were invented by the Arabs, but not so. I don't know. That sounds like Indian guy propaganda to me. Really? Yeah, it was actually me. I don't think Indians. Here's the thing. I don't think the Indians know they invented numbers. Nobody ever tells them that pump them up.

They would be shitting in the streets so much if they knew they had that to fall back on. We were investing centuries in numbers and then realized our true calling was dirty reverse. I just think of that episode of South Park where the Japanese are like stabbing the whale and dolphin with hate in their hearts. Yeah. But but it's them stabbing just the environment. Just stabbing Mother Earth in the ass. Just stabbing the water.

Just for no reason. Fuck you. It's like they hate it. And I don I don't like that. Are they the people like that theory? Do they believe in reincarnation? Is that Hindu? That is Hinduism. You would think that a group of people who believe they're going to come back and perhaps have to live as an insect would want the environment to be clean as fuck. Maybe they'd be thinking about all the pollen they're going to be eating in their next life and stuff. No, that's true No, I bet they all think they're gonna come back as a cow as a fly I by the way, they treat the world they shit everywhere, but I'm saying in their eyes

Like I bet a lot of our thinking they're covering all their bases by being so neat to cows And so they're like, oh when I come back as a cow Everyone's gonna be nice to me and And they're not going to hit me. And they're, they're weird three wheeled cabs, like, I know the cow is like holy to them or sacred to them. But then you've also got a large amount of population that is eat some, like, like there's plenty of Muslims there too, that eat the cows in India. No, I don't think there's many Muslims in it. No, there are.

Oh, I thought they like largely schismism and all the Muslims are in Pakistan and the Muslims I have a lot of conflict with the other Indians the cows have to be a central part of that Imagine if one person's like favorite food source is the other person's like sacred Thing you know like like it'd be like it'd be like if Jews ate dogs weird thing, you know, like it'd be like it'd be like if Jews ate dogs. We would not be cool with Seinfeld. You would. Hey, Kraver,

he's like hooking up a fucking Yorkie like you wouldn't be watching that show. You can't get on board with that. Yeah, I wouldn't like that. Yeah, I don't like the dog. It was a chihuahua. I'd be OK. No, there's no nice. I wouldn't want to eat a dog. But you know what? If it was served to me, I'd eat it. No, I wouldn't eat it if it was served to me either. I would. I would have this idea in my head that if I eat that dog, then somewhat like there's like 10 of us here and like if

I eat one of the dog legs, then they might have to go get another dog leg out of the kitchen. And then eventually down the line of the dog legs, then they might have to go get another dog leg out of the kitchen. And then eventually down the line of the, you know, they'll have to kill an extra dog because I ate this serving of dog here. I don't wanna- So you're just gonna let it go to waste. Yeah, yeah.

That's for the, because then I influenced the market positively as far as the dog's concerned. The restaurant owner sees, oh, dog's not selling so well anymore. I better not buy as much dog next week. And then the people who are making the dog meat are like, ah, shit, dog meat's not selling as well anymore I better not buy as much dog next week and then the people who are making the dog with me They're like, ah shit dog meat not selling as well. Don't kill enough. Don't kill don't kill that one

Save him for next week and you know on down the line. I save a dog that way by not eating dog That's fair. But if it's already dead And it's like a Korean restaurant. I trust that like of the dog cookers the Koreans know what the fuck they're doing they make great food. And so like, I'd give it a, I'd take a little bite, you know, see what's up. You gotta wonder, right? Like I'd eat people first. The thing is Asian food, banger after banger after banger, Thai food, Chinese food, Vietnamese

food, sushi and food, Japanese food, banger after banger after banger. You think dogs bad? You haven't tried dog. Maybe it's good. I'm not avoiding it. I think it tastes bad. It's dark. We get it. But you're saying that like it's served to you in some little you're you're going through Korea and you're on some like survival like travel show and you get there and it's some backwards place that serves dog regardless of your decision. They're going to keep serving dog because they have a sign on the wall that said we serve dog 2000 year. So then like you don't take a little bite. You don't see what's up. I'm telling you I don't I Love my furry friends too much

I would eat people I would eat people because the average person is a piece of shit But the average dogs like the best thing you've ever met in your life. Yeah, I wouldn't I think people are more dangerous because they can give you more some more dangerous Yeah, or maybe that's just eating the brains and I know you're just eat brain Would you rather be bitten by a strange person or a strange dog? Strange dog. Absolutely. Actually, how about this? How about this?

There's, these are bad dogs. Like these are, there's a restaurant that I set up and we only serve pit bulls that have bit children. That's it. And you know what? Business is booming and I've got a surplus because there's nothing but meat from pit bulls that bite children.

Will you take a bite of my pit bull? My dad a scar faces pit barbecue. It's nothing but pit bulls. Yeah. Yeah. And all of it is it's all just pictures of little kids after facial reconstruction feel surgery. And it's just like a plaque that says like, don't feel bad. They wouldn't. And then you just, you eat them up, you munch. So would you eat at my restaurant? Yeah, yeah. You've swayed me. You swayed me. It's all about the kindness of the dog.

But if you've got a Cujo eating restaurant, I'm down for that because that's clearly an evil dog. And that's justice. That's fair. That's justice. Oh, speaking of dogs, do you see they did that genetic nonsense and they brought the dire wolf back to life. I thought, wait, wait, I just wanted to say Taylor's restaurant is going to be named bone appetit, but B O N E. Love it. Right? Zach, move this room for the show. So no one takes it. Someone's going to steal the website immediately get sued by some treat company that's had that name for the eighties. Yeah.

But I see the Dire Wolf. Yeah. But, uh, see the dire wolf. Yeah. I saw the dire wolf thing and I thought it was neat. And then a friend of mine, like immediately, like I texted our, uh, group chat, a bunch of friends of mine and I was like, Oh, this dire wolf thing's pretty neat and a meet, and I had done no research at all. And he immediately was like, actually it's not a dire wolf. It's a regular gray wolf. And they twe was like, actually, it's not a dire wolf. It's a regular gray wolf.

And they tweaked like these four genes. And I'm like, can you give me half an hour to have before you come in like, and then they gestated it inside of a dog. So there's a there's a lot of science that went on there. I didn't watch a thing, but I'm sure it sounds like they did some in vitro fertilization and put that embryo into a dog. It's as close to a dire wolf as we're going to get. The thing's been gone for 10,000 years. I think it looks like a dire wolf is a big part of it.

We'll see. It's still a baby. That's pretty big, which is also like, you saw the like full grown-ish photo of it where it looked like maybe nine months or so, right? Like it not just a puppy Yeah, but if you would have shown me that and said it was a regular wolf or like a giant breed of dog Like well sure it doesn't about it's too wild Well, I don't expect you to be able to recognize a dire wolf since they've been extinct for 10 000 years, but that's fair They just like big wolves like i've never seen one of those before. That's, that's the point mom. That's the point. That's what they're going to do

with the chickens. You know, you take the chicken and you, and you start implanting some of those dino, uh, DNA traits into it and start dino DNA, dino DNA. So first net roesnatch chicken back to something we can mock it man before we know it's going to be spitting venom in newman's face so the japanese make these square watermelons you know they grow them inside of a square container to make them like that they're very expensive like 10 times what a fucking watermelon costs uh i wonder if you could do the same thing with dino chicken. You ever eat dino nuggets that come in the little, you know, this frozen, fake dinosaur shaped chicken

nuggets? Now imagine that they're actual dino nuggets, right? We take, make the chickens look like little velociraptors. Like the, but, but then how would we get it in the, cause I don't want to burst your bubble with the way they get those shapes in the nuggets is it's like a mulsified paste. So it's not actually no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not true. No, they, they cut those dinosaur shaped chunks of me. That's how it grows.

That's how it grows. That's a small chicken. You didn't know that Taylor is kind of like a tooth fairy thing. You're right. Yeah. Last week he said Santa was real. Those are fake dino nuggets. We would make real dino nuggets if we like don't pop the balloon to you. No, I wouldn't want that. I've actually, you know, I would eat some dino nuggets.

I haven't had dino nugs in forever. That's a very blast from the past kids thing. I liked them when I was like seven, but I can't imagine, like, cause I still see them. Like if I'm like walking past the frozen section, right there in the chicken, it'll be like some shaped chicken clearly meant for kids. They're tasteless. All you get is the breading.

I wouldn't do those on purpose. You know, if you're hungry, whatever. But like the idea of that emulsified chicken That pink goo if you've ever seen how it's made of a chicken nugget You won't eat chicken nuggets as much anymore. Yeah, right I want to say Wendy's nuggets are actual chicken nuggets like like it's still stringy chicken meat in there I think so. Maybe I think so I know KFCs are and when Taco Bell did nuggets for like two weeks

A few months back and those were actually good. I was shocked Those were real white meat, but those are like oh Oh, yeah, those are definitely white meat because they have that that that stringy texture you mentioned. Yeah, absolutely Yeah, chick-fil-a is pretty good. They they a whole cool recipe. Their chicken's delicious. It tastes sweet. I remember the first time I had Chick-fil-A was at that at the mall when I was a kid. It was a brand new thing. Like it started here in Georgia. So it had to be like 1995. Whatever year Alien 3 came out. Oh.

You know, Alien 3. That's your favorite one, Taylor. Yeah, of course. Oh Yeah, of course 1992 oh That was my first experience with Chick-fil-a. Maybe that does seem early though But I didn't know chick-fil-a was around in the early 90s. They were in that mall for sure Well, I want to say I discovered them in the early 2000s for me. Yeah, I don't remember when I first when I saw my first like Chick-fil-A restaurant, but they had a they had them in the mall next to Sabaro and the Chinese place. And it was just

the whole mall smelled like that delicious sweet chicken. And we'd never seen anything like it before. I was thinking that should be done as a seed. They're giving it out for like, there was like a lady with like a huge tray of free samples. She's like, this is Chick-fil-A and everybody's like, oh my God, it was, you, I can't overstate how big of a deal it was. People were having a mental breakdown.

That was always fun at the, like being a high schooler. And when you would go past the food court, that was always kind of great. Like taking a little lap and being like fucking Charlie's, you know, California chicken sandwich. I'll have a bite of that. Sarku Japan, little chicken teriyaki. Oriental Express, little orange chicken. Sbarro, little square. Who are the other ones in there? I can't believe you had samples from all those places. Only Chick-fil-A would.

Well, I mean, you know, it's a big mall, but you know, it's pretty cool. No, they all, they, I'm just saying you got hosed because everywhere had like a person standing out front and they were like jockeying to get your attention. I'm sure that wasn't some sort of food aid for Missouans. Cause I've been to Harwell, there's not a lot of malls. There's not a mall in Harwell. There's a mall in Anderson, South Carolina,

and there's a mall in Athens, Georgia, and there's a mall in Athens, Georgia, and there's a mall in Buford, Georgia, which I would usually go to. Is Athens 90 minutes from where you grew? 45. Oh, my idea is wrong then. Okay. 45 to Athens, yeah, it's like 45 to Athens

and maybe 30, 35 to Anderson, and then maybe like 40 to Beaufort. Beaufort is the Mall of Georgia. It's a really nice mall. And they've got they got like a 70 millimeter movie theater and all that shit. That's the one I would usually go to. But then you get free samples. I think you may have been confusing this as a child with some sort of government

food aid for the poor folk of Missouri. That's not true. It was at the West County Mall. And I remember because I would always go around and then I'd hit the Sarku Japan lady twice. And then I would act as though I was mulling my options and I would once again go to Sarku Japan, double meat, vegetables, rice, chicken teriyaki.

I don't even know what Sarku Japan. I mean, I know. It's one of the boiler plate stock stand. Like I'm sure there's one in every single food court. Never heard of that in my life. That's a regional thing. No. I haven't heard of it either, but I'm sure there's one in every single food court never heard of that in my life. That's a regional thing No, I Haven't heard of it either, but I'm not confident enough to say that it's not in my area. I probably a lot of restaurants I don't know. Let's go to Sarku Japan

Fucking locations are both in Missouri. Yeah find a Sarku Japan What's oh? This whole this look this is a map like, when they show how many locations Russia could nuke. It's all over East Coast, West Coast, the the Pacific. We have them in the southeast. Yes, you have a Jersey in Jersey, Jersey, North Jersey. Yes. They're not real people. Like there's no, no, it's like, it's like Japanese.

There's some in Atlanta. There's some in what's this? Alpharetta, Milton, Sandy Springs. Yeah. You're just, you just weren't paying attention at the food court the way a true visionary did. We definitely did have it at our food court, like 100% didn't have it there. And I don't go to the mall anymore.

I haven't been to the mall in so long. It's kind of sad. Like whenever I see, I saw a YouTuber the other day who just went to a mall. Like he went to the mall, like he was going to like a retired nuclear shelter. Like, look, look how people used to live. Look how it's all falling apart.

It was like when those people sneak into Ukraine to go to the Chernobyl. It was like, dude, it's just a mall. Don't have like a sarcophagi. I just go to the mall when my Apple product needs repair. Like I can't recall going for any other reason. I remember I didn't do this because this store wasn't around, but my youngest brother, he and his friends used to go to a mall around us. And there was this Indian guy who ran a store called Munchy Times.

Munchy Times, not Munchy Time, not Munch Time, Munchy Times. Munchy Times. Not Munchy Time. Not Munchtime. Munchy Times. And it was like a place for snacks and then cigarettes. And he was just known for like giving, like he'd sell cigarettes to an 11 year old. Like if you walked in and had money, he'd just like not even being sly, just like cigarettes for you know, 450 or whatever they were at the time. And so he became like pretty popular. And then I think he got shut down for something related to that. Maybe he branched out and started selling booze underage, which they probably just like more.

Did you have any place to drink underage when you were a kid? Like, what was the go-to way to make that happen? I, my house was a big one. Like I would have friends over and like we would do it at my house. My mom was one of those. How old were you? High school age, but we didn't do it a lot.

High school age, like it would just, it would bounce around. My girlfriend in high schools, her family was, couldn't give less of a fuck. Like her mom like let us use their liquor cabinet and we were over there. So like, that was like 16 years old. And then after like breaks from college,

when we were still like 19 age college, it was just my house. Because by that point, my mom was like fully in on that plan of like, I'd rather you be hammered here than hammered elsewhere. And it's like, whatever. Just keep drinking there. Yeah. There was really no, and then another friend, his parents knew, but pretended they didn't.

And so like, we'd have to do it out. We'd be like, like if there's nowhere else to go that night, we're all like 18, 19, we'd be like, we're going to have a bonfire. It's fucking June in Missouri. It's so hot out. And so we make basically like a, the littlest fire that you could consider a bonfire. And then just sit out there with a big group of guys and company and get trashed, chat, have a good time.

That's my first job when I was 13. So from then going forward, I always worked with somebody old enough to get booze or old enough to throw a party that I'd be invited to if I wanted to go. Yeah. Yeah, I can get alcohol. Like, however, you know, I had a guy that would I could take Chuck, the guy that worked for my dad.

I know Chuck. I know Chuck stories. You know, I want it. No, no, no. I. God, no, no. Chuck, don't make it past 40. No, they don't make it maybe 45 or something like that.

No, he did not. I know because I helped pay for his funeral because there was nobody else to do so. But but yeah, Chuck would help me up. I remember when he dropped that six pack of beer in the middle of the the fucking liquor store with me and my underage cousin standing next to him. And everybody turns and looks at me and my underage cousin and the homeless man that we have brought And and all the beer bottles broken on the fucking floor and he doesn't miss a beat

He's that handle was fucking soggy I ain't paying for that and he grabs another one like angrily and puts it on the on the thing It's paying for like he's not accepting any like clean that up. What are you doing? Like he ain't hearing it. He ain't hearing it. It's their fault. That was a soggy handle. Did you ever pull up a mister either of you?

Oh no, I didn't have to do that. You just find an adult outside a gas station and go, you know, hey mister, will you? No, I've told this before, but when my brother turned 21, I took his birth certificate to the DMV and got a real driver's license with my picture on it. That's so funny.

And then I took that driver's license as proof of my ID to the county and got a county ID. Then I took that shit to like the library. I got a library card. I had like an expired health insurance. I had, if you were to find my dead body, you'd be convinced my name is Patrick. Yeah.

I'm not sure. He's got a high interest loan in his name. There is one real ID like in this back corner in case I got pulled over or something. That's great. I remember I was buying alcohol and the dude who went to my high school work there and I was about to whip out my fake ID.

He's like, Woody, I know you're 21, I'm 17. And it's like, we're cool. Sick. Yeah, that's awesome. There were a couple of parents that would have parties over at their house and clearly like, I don't know if they could have been more supportive of like us having a party with alcohol.

Like the slushy machine had alcohol in it. They had like a real slushy machine in their basement and it just had an upended bottle of Absolut in the top of it feeding vodka into the slushy. And like I remember her dad like showing me how to like quickly cool a beer down in an ice like cooler. He's like, yeah, you want to put it in there. You get a little spin to it and it'll form in there. See how that ice melts around it. And he was like, do this whole thing. That'll be cold in five minutes. Ice cold. Great. Great. Mr. Lunksford. Thank you so much.

This is in the cooler filled with ice. You spin it. Yeah. He had a, he had, he said you put it in there and you spin it. And the ice sort of melts around the bottle and creates this like really close seal to the bottle. That's I learned that when I was 15, 16, I was 16 there. Yeah. I just knew the wet paper towel trick where like if you wanted to get any drink cold, beer, water, whatever you want to drink, wet paper towel, wrap it around there, throw it in the freezer and the paper towel freezes within like two minutes. And then like, but it also is a risk of like, that just amps, like that's shortens the window before something explodes. And so, does well, it's, yeah,

it takes a long time for a glass. I don't even know if I don't think a glass bottle will explode in the freezer. I Think it might just pop the top and like like slowly make a little snail trail of like Ice will come out the top hands will fucking explode I've done that so many times like I'm out of soda and I buy a new like bunch of soda and they're all warm And I don't drink warm sodas. I'm like, ah We'll make one cold quick put that bitch in the freezer and just for completely forget there was a like all the like drinking at people's houses underage like

I've talked about this before but this is probably 15 years ago now like 2010 or so So I was underage I was 20 on like, you know, probably four months five months from turning 21 and we had a big party for my younger brother who was turning, I guess, 19. And he got so trashed before the party started that he passed out before, and so the next morning, the police came and 40 people got minors in possession of alcohol tickets. And a bunch of people had to, know it was it was rough but the party before that was a bunch of fun we had a good time we would have gotten trouble for more except my friend Brett was like as the police were coming in was like

very high you know high-minded and they came in because my friend Jake was he robbed a church of animatronic deer. I'm glad that was great delivery. Me and Woody are both like, Whoa, robbed and we'll be like, Whoa, what a church. Oh, wait a God damn it. I'm an animatronic deer. We're like, Oh, all right. Yeah. Like I was friendly with Jake, but like he was my brother's age and his direct friend. And so like, like my brother's like friend

group had been like, Jake, you've been doing this thing recently where every time you get trashed, you go steal shit. Don't steal anything. And don't certainly don't go steal things and bring it back here tonight. And then he got trashed and then someone drove him around which was like someone who wasn't even drunk driving him around or who knows maybe they were too. But he was like, everyone, there were so many people there no one noticed they were gone. And then they like showed up later in the night

like walking down the stairs into the basement and like, look what we got. And just these big like animatronic deer that would like raise their head and go back down because it was around Christmas time. And so they ruined the spirit of Christmas of that church. And then like, he put it in like the back room. And then the police got called and apparently like they, they knew where this guy was, you know, they knew where he drove back to. And so they all came to my house and broke it all up, came in to the house

and said, hey, this guy just stole beer from the church and we're at this address. That's what happened. All the guys handled it. OK, the girls were like fucking throwing a tantrum when the police were there like, you're all in so much trouble. And I had like one

friend there who was like, like that kind of bad influence friend who had been in trouble so many times. the cops are like, you're looking at jail time, doing that cop thing. You look at jail time for this. And he's like, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Jail time. Why don't you lock me up? Why don't you fucking lock me up? Lawyer or no, he was like, everyone else had been like taken care of for a while, but he had been arrested before and all that he took away from his previous attorney's arrest thing was like, safe, plead

the fifth. And so it was just me and my brother who'd been passed out for hours, had no idea any of this was happening. Then a couple of friends who were just going to spend the night because they were too drunk to leave. And so the cops were like, you guys just stay here. And he was just sitting on a stool by himself. And the cops are like, you tell us like how much you've

been drinking underage or we're going to take you in. And they like had him cuffed on a stool and he was just like trashed like fifth, fifth, play the fifth, play the fifth. Great dude. I still talk to him very regularly, but uh, one of my good buddies probably doing the right thing. Like, oh yeah, they ended up uncuffing him. And then his older brother, also a friend of mine who was sober, just drove them home. There was nothing that came of he could have been a little more respectful. I think the police would be even more inclined to let you go if it's just like, hey, kindly. Yeah.

But we would have gotten in more trouble because this is way before weed was legal and 12 years before it was legal in Missouri. And so like as everybody was like freaking out when the cops came in trying to hide the the booze before they got into the basement my one friend uh Brett was very smart and he like grabbed all the weed accoutrement and accessories and hid them in the dryer and so there was just a dryer full of a bunch of weed stuff and uh they they only found a little bit of the weed stuff. Yeah. Jesus. I remember like, as soon as I got my car, we started doing some mischief, little stuff like egging houses mostly.

But we'd go, you know, in the country and there's nothing to do. And so we'd go and like get up to what I would call mischief, you know, never really taking it too far. Nobody was getting hurt for sure. Um, uh, but, but we would destroy personal property. Okay. So we, we used to bust mailboxes, which I now feel bad about because like that's somebody's shit that we broke and they had to go and pay for it. But at the time it was really fun, but that was as far as like property damage we'd got. We'd mostly, I remember we had a relative who owned like a vegetable

stand and we'd get the old tomatoes, you know, throw them in the houses. That's what you're gonna do. Of people we knew, you know, we'd go get somebody we knew, not like randomly just doing it. But then there was this one kid who was like a year, maybe two years younger than me, and he was trying to get involved with our mischief and I was like, yeah What kind of crazy shit do you get up to and he's like, I've been going around with my rifle Shooting stuff Well, we're not gonna get up to mischief anymore we're gonna reform right here and now Scott

Riley Riley, do you hear what he said? We're done Sure enough like like they were calling him the Lavonia sniper in the newspapers. This isn't long after the DC sniper thing had happened. So calling anybody the blankety blank sniper was scary business. He was riding around shooting like inflatable Christmas shit and windows out of the bank and like stuff like that, like like with his 22. Just running around windows it windows out of the bank and like stuff like that. Like, like with his 22, just running around, windows out of the bank. You said, yes, he was shooting windows out of business at night. Like you go out late at night.

And like he clearly wasn't trying to hurt anybody. He wasn't shooting into homes in a rough, but he was being off. They fucked him up. We never saw him again. I don't know what they did to him. I don't know. He's to him. I don't know He's certainly not the sniper of lavonia anymore. I don't think he graduated like like like I I never saw him after that again. I don't know what they did. I think they put him in juvenile detention and like he went down a whole different path. Hopefully a good path. Probably not. That's not the kind of mischief I got up to. It was always like swimming out really far, jumping off bridges, shit like that. The ocean.

I didn't break anything. Yeah. You're putting yourself in the water. We had an ocean. We'd been doing ocean stuff, Woody. All we had was tomatoes. We had rotten tomatoes and you had the Atlantic, okay? You see the difference.

That's true. It was so nice to be able to like ride around and be independent that I don't know, the mischief just kind of naturally followed. Cause I guess I was already a little destructive or whatever. So yeah, we'd fuck shit up and break stuff. I feel bad about that now. I really do.

Especially the mailboxes. Yeah. If that happened to me, it'd be like, oh, now I have like, I don't even know. What was it take to repair a mailbox? Everything included. Like you gotta dig that hole, you gotta put some concrete in there,

you gotta pick something. Yeah. It would just be a huge pain in the ass that you didn't have to deal with. We break the box. And I think I remember at one point while we were doing it, like pricing them and being like, hey, if we ever get get caught we're gonna have to pay for this

So let's see how much we're gonna be in for Emily. All right, they're like 25 30 bucks a piece. All right It's gonna be rough The thing I have now I don't think it's very fancy my mailbox, but the one in apex was like It was an organization. So there was a way compliant It was super, it was $300 for the box. Right? And then, but if you were to hit it with a baseball bat from a car, for example, oh, like all the trim work on that post

would probably be wrecked and I'd have to deal with that. Yeah, it sucked. Yeah, we mostly, it was mostly those metal mailboxes and we would hit them with rocks going really fast. We'd throw the rock outside the car. So the rocks go in 60 miles an hour. A rock the size of your head hitting a mailbox at 60 miles an hour is not only hard to do,

but it's incredibly satisfying because it's like you shot it with a cannon, but you get the watch from three feet away in safety and it makes it really satisfying. Yeah, safety. I mean, it's evil, but that does sound cool. I always imagined you were hitting with a baseball bat, like waste out of the passenger side. That's dangerous, but that's what they did in movies

So I didn't even question that anymore. Did you yeah? Yeah That even work because like if you try to use the speed of the car to aid your swing you're going to get fucked up If you ever hit something that doesn't give the way expected to but when we would go to the boat ramps and we'd fill the floor Board of the truck up with these rocks that are the size of your head and we just toss those granite you know retaining boulders out the window with 50 miles an hour and when they hit a mailbox it explodes. High schools have drinking parties every weekend. Yeah I didn't go to them for the most part I probably only went to like three or four

like drinking parties in high school. Definitely, yeah. I did. I went every weekend. The word would just circulate like, oh, the parties at the docks, the parties at light cider, light house, or I forget the different names of the places.

Like even if they told you where it was, you had to like be in on it to know like the docks that could be fucking anywhere in Ocean City. It's an island. But they, they always had parties. They're just standing. I'm sure there were drinking parties every weekend in high school, but I just wasn't cool enough. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, there were every weekend.

I just wasn't invited. I remember someone asking me like, Hey, why don't I ever see if the parties, I was like, they've been invited to one. I want to say that, but I was like, Hey, why do I never see the parties? I was like, they've been invited to one. I want to say that, but I was like, ah, Oh, should we invite Kyle? Ew. The guy who throws granite at mailboxes. First of all, like, like, like that was cool. All right. It really was like, like, like, look in high school, it was cool. They were hot girls in the car with me who were interested in breaking the mailbox.

And mailboxes is cool. Consider me mild. Like nobody thought the mailbox thing wasn't cool. Everybody who started doing it was like, this is pretty fucking fun. It's pretty fun. There really is nothing to do there. You gotta imagine. There's nothing.

I wasn't cool enough to go to the parties. I guess I was cool enough to know where they were, but it wasn't like it was good for me. Like here I am a sophomore, right? That's the cool kid that the girls were wishing were talking to them instead of me. Those are the upperclassmen who make me feel unsafe because they're violent.

These are the upperclassmen who make me feel unsafe because they're violent. These are the, yeah, this is a group that's like literally a gang, right? Like, like they're here. And I'm just here because it's my best idea, trying not to get into trouble or hurt or whatever, trying to get a girl to like me against competition, way too stiff for me. Like, like that was my party experience. Yeah, no, that sounds pretty familiar. Yeah, I didn't do a lot of parties at all. And our parties were a little different too, because you'd be in a barn somewhere. There were a lot of barn

parties, which I don't know. Maybe the barn party. Well, like someone's millionaire dad has a barn that's a... Don't imagine an old barn in the country imagine like the coolest man cave you can have a country boys man cave That's full of like plasma TVs in 2002 It was a nice barn party, but it was a barn party. You'd be out in the middle of nowhere away from everything So if anybody wanted to you know beat you up that was gonna happen, too There was no supervision. You were just going to get assaulted. I remember my friend came to school on Monday

and his jaw was wired shut. And I'm like, what happened? And there was a group of guys who would just punch people for no reason. And he's like, I always thought when people said there was no reason that it was like, dude, tell me the truth. He's like, no, I don't even know them.

We don't have any friends in common. I was just talking to my friend who was also a boy. Like it wasn't like a girl thing. It would just flat out like the knockout game, but pre-dating that. And it really sucked. Your head's on a swivel in these parties. Why did I go?

I remember like, cause for the high school hockey team, I was the starting goalie freshman year. The other guy a couple of years older than me was not very good. And so I, you know, and you get a lot of protection when you're the starting goalie. And so I remember this senior who I was like, I didn't, he wasn't even that good,

but I was always like, man, this guy's, this guy's name was also Kyle. I'm like, man, Kyle's fucking cool. He's always got like all these girls hanging around him and everything. And like, he invites me to like something and I'm like, yeah, I'm like in with him. I'm cool. And then like, I get to this little thing at his house or another teammate's house. And like, immediately, it's like, none of these girls care. You're the starting goal. You're some fucking 14 and a half year old who has no business being here. Like you're not even drinking or doing anything. Everyone else seems like so chill and cool.

And like, like I'm just intimidated by what I at the time perceive as maturity and like didn't even enjoy it for a second. Just always being like, oh, I'm so gay and lame. I shouldn't be here. At least you had somebody to protect you. Like, like it, like it was scary at those parties. Like they were always somebody out to get me. It seemed like I never had an issue with someone that I could beat up.

Really? Like I never had a problem with somebody who I could actually beat up like once one time ever. And I remember being so shocked. Yeah. Fucked her up. So what are you thinking? Me me. No once ever. Yeah, fucked her up. What are you thinking me? Me no Once ever I got messed with me before I would and I remember thinking like what have you done? Like I beat him senseless. He hit me first night

Senseless and there was so much blood they had to his mommy had to bring him a shirt. We were in 9th grade 9th grade and I was like what what were you thinking is all I was thinking afterwards. But then I remember people being like, you beat up Robbie and I have to feel, he hit me first. Like, what was I supposed to do? Get beat up by Robbie?

Get punked by Robbie? Robbie hit me. So I destroyed Robbie. But everybody else, every other time, it'd be like some dude, two fucking years and six inches taller than me And it's just like I got hide. I can't go outside at lunch now. I gotta eat over here in the corner Maybe i'll just stay in maybe i'll stay in home room and not eat today

Like i'm scared favorite parenting move in the world is giving you permission to beat up that goliath. It'd be like What you think I haven't beat him up because of my restraint? That's what you think is happening here. It's obviously because Matthew was so measured. It's not because this kid's seven for one. I don't know if I could take it if I had a hammer, Dad. He stole my seat. He punked me. And like, I was like, like, you know, listen, I was sitting here. Everyone saw me sitting here, everyone saw me sitting here, I got up for one second,

you stole my seat and like, can I have my seat back? And he's like, no. And he basically said, fuck off. And I'm like, I don't even wanna do this. I don't even wanna do this until it was like after school. And he said, yes, I must have given this guy like nine opportunities to change his mind because it wasn't close. And I'm not some big hulking guy at this point. This is late to puberty woody.

But this guy was one of the smallest people in the class. And yeah, I didn't fight well at all. I held my hands like this, right, and punched out. But my arms were like six inches longer than his. I must have hit him a hundred times. He had a white t-shirt on, his nose was bleeding, the whole thing stopped being white. And I'm like, you still want to go, dude, like two-thirds the way through the fight, these two black kids came around. And they're like, fight, fight! I'm like, I don't know why this is still going on. It's so lopsided. And they're like, neither one of y'all know how to fight. It wasn't.

We did it. But it was lopsided and I did win. Hell, yeah. One and oh, in the school yard. They wanted seven or something. No, those seven, no count. Those were those weren't regulation opponents. That was the only one.

Robbie punched me in the stomach and I hit him in the face immediately. And he started to fall, not necessarily because I hit him so hard, but because we were kind of wedged up against some desks and he lost his footing. But he grabbed my shirt to keep his balance. So he's hanging from me like a punching bag that's attached to me now, and he's down like at like not waist level, but like he's barely standing and I'm hitting down at him now and every day he keeps pulling himself up by my shirt and I keep punching him back down again. And I felt it was happening in slow motion. I remember thinking like, why is this happening? motion. I remember thinking like, why is this happening? And I was going, I knows

mouth. He was so fucked up. And nobody thought I was cool for it. No, you know what you should have done is be like, I don't care that you have a black belt. That doesn't do another fight with a guy small. This is, I was like young, young. I don't know what I was fifth grade, something like that. And this guy and I, we wanted to come inside and play with them, but we were on the outs and he spit a spit ball at me with a straw and everything through a screen door. So it turned into this like shotgun scatter, like, like shotgun scattershell.

I bet I got you. It was so gross. And I like we I was like, you know, now I want to fight him. And he's more than down. But at this age, like how to even fight and what the unofficial rules are, we're not decided. So I did whatever he did, but I was bigger and stronger than him. So like, at first we're wrestling and I get the top and like I won the wrestling. So then he boxes my ears, both of them. Okay, now that's open, but I'm like full mount, right? So I'm boxing his ears

and then he punches me and I'm like, okay keep opening this door so now I'm punching him from full mount and that's how the fight ended and it's like you know this could have been a wrestling match you wanted all of this did you get into any trouble for that like at school no that one parents didn't at least my parents didn't know about it his probably saw the impact of the fight I got suspended for I think two days was what you got for fighting. I think they'd give you two days, whether you were the aggressor or not. You know, you both got-

So yours was in school. Yeah, yeah, it was in the middle of class. Like, like- Oh, damn. Everybody's, the teacher pulled me, didn't pull me off of him. She screamed and that like adult woman screaming at a kid, like that's ice water. You know what I mean?

Like, like I immediately was like, Oh, stop. And it was a guy let him go and everything. But I remember my dad being like, well, he hit him first. And they're like, but look, I really had fucked that poor kid. I big losses to talk about. Um, oh, I, I made a kid mad one time talking shit and he broke my nose. He just did it straight up. Just punched me in the nose and I deserved it. I said some mean shit to him. Um, shouldn't have been that mean.

I like took the meanness to another level and he popped me in the nose and I a hundred percent deserved it. And I knew I deserved it then. And I know I deserved it. Do you remember what you said about him? Oh, I'd rather not say, I deserved it. Do you remember what you said about him? Oh I'd rather not say I Said some mean shit, you know, I was in eighth grade

Yeah eighth grade. So, you know the meanest possible thing I could imagine probably we were in one of those Arguments I said it's probably something about nobody liking him or him not, or like something like that. Some mean ass shit. I deserved it, I deserved it. That was a pretty bad L. One time my mouth got me into trouble and there was this guy, his name was Kurt. And I was at the guidance counselor's office because during study hall, if you asked for a guidance counselor pass,

they would just give it to you and it was air conditioned and it was a little nicer place to spend your study hall if you're a slacker who doesn't do his work. Anyway, I'm in this guidance counselor, and there's this guy, Kurt, who I don't share any classes with. And he's telling these stories that seemed straight out of, like, television, you know, him in some apartment with bullets flying in the hallway while he's behind the door and this and that. And I just said, that sounds like bullshit. And he's like, what'd you say? And I was like, that story sounds like bullshit to me.

And at the time I said it, I thought I could beat this guy in a fight, but then he wanted to fight and I kind of reevaluated. I still don't know how it would have gone I give myself like a 40% shot but somehow I Was scared I was scared of this guy. I scared and Like

He was there. He was like gonna show up with a bunch of friends I didn't realize he was a in this friend group of people that didn't like me. So they were all like very motivated. Even if I was somehow winning, it would have turned to losing as his friend group. Oh yeah. So I got my friend group and then it became like bigger and bigger and bigger.

And this kid was very much not a popular kid. And it's not like I was ruling the school or anything, but by comparison to him, more popular. And my gosh, I must have had like 400 people on my side. I don't know how many of them would be willing to fight for me like it's usually zero in my right. Could be wrong. It's not good to be zero, but it looked like 400 to hit six. And like all 400 were like pushing their group around and I never fought the guy. Never, never took my L that I probably deserved.

But I still, it still sits with me like an L. I had an issue with this guy named Andrew, who was like, he was just super bully. He was bigger than all of us and he liked to hurt people And I like stood up to him and like shoved him in the chest and he just shoved me back He didn't hit me but then I guess this is actually a win This was a win is what it was as far as he knew it was a win But what happened right after he shoved me and I was like you fuck you fuck you Yeah, fuck you too. And there was that we just walk away away. And I was like, he's way bigger than me.

I was terrified the whole time. So much so that I had a panic attack and had to go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet holding onto the walls. But no one knew about that. So that was a win actually. To me it's an L, to me it's a huge L. Like I felt the L, but he didn't know he won that one.

He probably thought that. No one else knew about that. Yeah, nobody knew about that. You're coming up. And then I had this one guy that was just always after me, always threatening me, and he was out of high school. He was in college and I was in the 11th grade, and he was always after me.

And he had been after me since I was in 10th grade. It was only a year, but it seemed like a lot longer than that. He was way bigger than you, or just about your size, though? Yeah, he was a 10th grade. It was only a year, but it seemed like a lot longer than that. He was way, way bigger than you or just about your size? Yeah. He was a grown ass man. He had a full goatee, like a grown man goatee. And he was, I don't know, over six feet tall and a grown man with a grown man job. And he was harassing me. And I was like, what am I going to do? He's going dude I got a gun he had a gun he wrote a crotch rocket and he had a pistol on it and this is my nemesis when I'm 16 your nemesis man you were really the Atlanta Braves to his fucking Dodgers I've just like, I'm just like, the guy's got a, why does he have a gun?

When the guy pulls the knife out on, on, uh, Morty and he's like, you really didn't need the knife. You kind of had things in grasp already. Yeah. I didn't have any big, mean physical bull. Like I was always big, so that helped, but I wasn't like big enough that that was a deterrent still. Like there were people bigger than me. Like I was I could usually joke around out of a tight spot. Get into any high school fights? No, no, never because I was wondering because I was like, when Taylor tells the

story, he's the bully, he's the fully bearded man grown on that. Like Kyle and I are like, yeah, thank God we had friends or they didn't know. Like whoever got in the right way. I was too insecure to be a physical bully. And so I never I didn't physically, you know, start any fights. And I never had any physical fights started with me. Thankfully. I had like one like squirrelyly little shit head when I was like in middle school, like he didn't go to school with me.

He was just a guy at hockey. Like my age, a head shorter than me. And like, in my head, I remember being like, this doesn't add up. Like, uh, we're like trying out for the same team and I'm going to make it and he's not going to make it and he's little and I'm big and like, why is he bullying? Like this doesn't, he shouldn't be able to bully me. And like I'd be in the locker room like getting dressed and he'd like come over and just like poke me or like shove me with the stick or something.

And I remember just like one time I like stood up and towered over him and just gave him like a, the hardest I've ever shoved anyone ever with like the hard part of my blocker and just, just he tripped over bags behind him and everybody in the locker room laughed at him. And I was like, okay, maybe he, maybe I won't be bullied by this squirrely little

fucking dickhead anymore. That's black girl energy. That's what that dude had. He had black girl energy. That's when you feel completely confident to physically and emotionally harass someone three times your size. He was like, but no fear of the outcome because I hated it. I would like be going to like, cause it was a like week long tryout or whatever, like tons of different tryouts and rounds. And you never stopped it. I did, that was when I did stop it is like, like he would like always, he'd like skate past me

on the ice and like talk shit or be mean to me. And like, I didn't see him doing it to anyone else. So I guess I just gave off a bitch's aura and he just targeted me. Maybe, you know, like some dudes when you like a girl, you'll pull her hair Maybe maybe he was a homo and I strike his fancy But I was not I was there were lots of hotter guys on the team than me So he could have gone a different direction. You don't know what he was looking for. You know, I mean, yeah, that is that was the only

Altercation physically we had was he was looking for me shoving him and him like getting up in my face like being a jerk. Wonder what he's up to. He didn't make the team. There's another retold story but I I had a friend who I hung out with a bunch and then he had a friend who I'd never met before but he seemed kind of cool and I used to like do these almost like guided tours on jumping off bridges. I've done it so many times and people had a fascination with it but never like broke that seal

and I'd be the guy that helped them do it. And so there we are, it's like 11 PM or something. We're jumping off bridges in the dark into the water. And afterwards, you know, the night's cool. I wrap up, I go home and I realize like misplaced my shirt and like, I didn't know where my shirt was anymore. And damn it, my wallet was in the shirt, like wrapped up, I had this thing,

you wrap it up like a football, I could almost throw it. And later I kind of put it together that my friend's friend stole my shirt. And it's like, fuck, partly I didn't like losing my shirt in my wallet, partly I didn't like being somebody's bitch. So, like I found out where he lived and I went to his house and I'm like, dude, you stole my wallet and my shirt.

He's like, no, I don't know anything about it. It's like, it was you, you stole my wallet and my shirt. And he's like, you can check my house. I was like, I think I will. So I walk right in the house, I look around, I find my shirt. Yeah. Damn.

Then I'm like, where's my wallet? He's like, I don't know anything about your wallet. He's just looking me right in the eye. That's when I like reassessed looking me right in the eye. That's when I like reassessed my odds of winning the fight. It wasn't gonna go my way. First of all, this guy had been fucking in and out of juvie for the last like four or five years. He's like a product of the fucking prison season.

He's 17, he's got tattoos. And he's wearing work boots to my like, fuck, cool in my society flip-flops. Oh, you go down. I'm like a surfer in board shorts and flip-flops. And he's in home court. He knows where all the weapons are hidden. Yeah.

He's got a car, hard jacket with paint on. And I'm like, if I lose a fight to this guy here, like it goes any way he chooses. You know, the level of damage I take is just until he runs out of enthusiasm. Yeah. Yeah. And in the end, I was his bitch. I was I just sort of left with my shirt and no wallet and took the L. Oh, yeah, that does suck. I wanted justice. I wanted to hear I wanted to hear the good guys.

That's like the Shawshank Redemption. You're all going to be like, I'd like to tell you that Woody kicked his ass and got a good fall. Fuck the good fight. But I'd be lying. Yeah, no, it was it was mostly elves. I don't I don't be anybody. I get you fights in elementary elves. I don't, where can I be anybody? I get any fights in elementary school?

I don't think so. I had so many issues getting picked on in six. That's why I was homeschooled. I had this one kid. It was just the one kid. It's hard to be gay in Livonia. I think he was the gay one. I think I like that's why I asked you because I think that kid was gay.

I think that kid liked me. I guess what the whole fucking problem was that that dude was a queer baby. I bet you were cute What was the vibe around being gay when you were in school? Oh, please There was no there was one kid in high school who was like a flamboyant cheerleader and when he left the room Actually, Andrew the guy I was talking about I got the shoving match with it. I was terrified up. He would yell Andrew, the guy I was talking about, I got the shoving match with it, I was terrified of, he would yell, faggot! Like that was the attitude around being gay,

was that they would yell faggot at you. What if it was a girl? There were no, there were none to, I don't know. Yeah, that was hypothetical. There were gay guys in our school, or at least guys who were like known to be gay, probably were gay, and they were kind of ostracized. There was a gay girl and she was ostracized too.

Nobody was nice to her. Like she wasn't allowed to change in the locker room with the other girls. Then she had to change in the nurse's office and then join gym class. And she just didn't have a friend group. So I saw her and I like, I don't know, I hit it back. I was nice.

I'd say hi to her or something, you know, talk to her a little bit. And cause I just felt bad because she was so alone. It's hard to be alone in high school. Anyway, she latched onto me so hard that I, I backed off. It was too much. Like she was like, I'd be a hundred feet away in the hallway and she's like, Woody, be a hundred feet away in the hallway.

And she's like, what are you? What's up, dude? And I'm like, Oh my God, can I tell you that was my stock down? I want to be stronger than that. But I wasn't. That was the same thing that I had the exact. That's why that guy punched me in the nose. Now that I think about it was that he wanted to be my friend, but I didn about it was that he wanted to be my friend, but I didn't think he was cool enough to be my friend. I thought he was going to drag my social score down. That's what it was.

And eighth grade me didn't have a lot of social score to work with. So I couldn't afford these negative, this negative influence from this guy. Oh yeah. And, and, and I think you heard his feelings. Yeah. I think I might've, I think I might have said that to him lately. I'll be your friend because you're a fucking weirdo dude. And it's making me look like a weirdo dude. And the next thing I knew, I was bleeding. I don't remember anybody getting like bullied for being gay. Like the I'm sure it happened. But like when people, when someone got called a faggot in high school,

it was like the same way you'd call someone a retard. Like that same general thing. Like I don't remember it being like, oh, that person's gay. The people I remember getting bullied are like that dude who wore like a fucking trench coat every day and like would like bring Beyblades. And it's like like what the fuck are

you doing? It's like this top that you spin a top at someone else who spins a top and they bump into each other and they like I guess you win or lose depending on whose top spins longer. Am I a nerd? That sounds cool. Well I was going entirely through what I I was outsizing all thought on what cool was like outsourcing all thought. Like I just know that guy got made fun of for wearing a trench coat and doing fake karate moves in the corner of the lunch room and like bringing Beyblades and wearing a tremendous amount of Invader Zim merch.

Invader Zim was this green little alien that like even then was like this cartoon is fucking stupid. Like it came out when like I was when we at my grade level when we were too old to be doing stuff like that. And so to say you're watching it was lame. Like and you'd get called gay or whatever, but to like like make that your Clothing choice like you're gonna wear like wristbands like sweat bands with a little green alien on it Yeah, he got bullied a lot. I googled Beyblades. I take it back. They don't seem cool I know they were like metal ninja stars that no spark there is a tough one plastic crap I've seen people on reddit and they use a Sparky stuff when they plastic crap. I've seen people on reddit and they use a

Take a side grinder that doesn't have a wheel on it And they they put the chuck into like this Uh, that's like a top but the top is a very heavy chunk of steel made into a top and they get it up to 900 1000 rpm and they drop it into like a basin and then the other guy adds his and when they hit each other It's colossal forces. That's really cool. I thought that's what Beyblade was going to be like. But that seems more, I don't know, more like what do you call it?

Like Weeby. Is it supposed to be like Japanese or something? Is it from like an anime or are they casting them and saying some bullshit? I I bet I bet like I don't. Maybe it probably. A braid. Yeah, but he that guy was not cool. And like the the kid who, like, I remember making fun of him was this guy, Josh, who was like country as hell and like actually was a tough guy, like farmer kind of guy.

And he like went up to him because he was also like a he was shorter than me, but he was like, he was a strong dude. And like, I remember he was also like a he was shorter than me but he was like he was a strong dude and like i remember he was a fucking bully josh was and i like i watched him like going to the corner of the the lunch room and this kid was doing like fake kata like oh and josh when he's like hey what the fuck is this guy shaking you know he didn't answer he's like what do what do you mean? You don't want to. I mean, it seems like you know how to fight. You want to fight like that.

That level of just goading him. I never saw them actually getting a do you remember how strong the strongest kids in your school were like bench press wise? Yes. There was this kid the year above me named Greg. And Greg was like a, as Derek would put it, a super physiological beast. Like he was like 17 and like, like a level of big and shredded that didn't make sense. And like, so he was the he was like 15 years old, like benching for something deadlifting, like five, like high five, six. He was like, years old, like benching for something, deadlifting like five, like high five, six, six,

he was like, he was the only person at that point in our school to be in the 1500 club, which means that his bench deadlift and squat equaled 1500. Like being in the thousand club was a big deal. This kid was a monster and it was like an understood thing. We had guys that were were doing like around three and I remember there was a white guy that could do 310 And his name was Cory Cory was like 510. He was a little shorter than me and I remember he was showing me some fighting move He's like this is what you do and he like threw a fake kick toward my knees and it made me lurch forward

And he was like immediately throwing a punch. He's like see everyerks every time helps that you bitch 310 though I only know his nickname Cosmo he benched 425 and I know that because people would always talk about like if he smacks, that's 425 pounds. If he punches you, that's 424, 25 was like his other nickname practically. He was like five, eight. He wasn't super tall, but goddamn, he seemed five, eight wide also. Yeah. And he would just a fire plug of a dude and a white guy, really strong. Different question, but similar.

All was there a dude at your school whose dick was so big he had it out all the time? Had his dick out all the time? We had a guy who had... I don't know about your school, but they said they would send you right home for that. Like in the locker room, in the gym, anytime when it was just the boys, he'd have that hog out. He would walk up behind people and toss it over their shoulder while they were sitting like doing their laces up on the bench. He had like it was like nine or ten inches long or something and soft he would like cast it out like a fishing rod. He always had it out. You know when most people do like

oh I got you they make you look at the little fucking thing and right in the arm. His cock would be out. Dude, you're bringing out the top. Your gym experience is even gayer than mine. And we were showering together every day. Dude, there is a guy I didn't ever even saw it. His name is JD. He was white guy on our basketball team and he was like six, six. And it was just rumored. Everyone in the school knew his dick was ginormous. Never saw it. Girls would wanna see it. Girls would want it like they just had to know it was so big.

There was another guy who I won't name and I did see it who had a legit micro penis. Like it was, I saw it. And it wasn't bigger than a thimble. He looked like he was just scrotum practically. All right. How do you do your pubic hair if you got a micro penis, Taylor? Now here are your options, obviously. Thick it in which there is no visible penis. Now the problem with that is, of course you're hiding your shame, but now you look like a woman and you're pissing on your

pubic hair all the time. You got a musty pissing on your pubic hair. You can't get it back. The pubes are longer than your penis. Okay. That's what he's describing. I assume if you pull the head, you can get it out of the bushes. I don't think so. I've seen it.

I've seen my first instinct goes to my first instinct goes to you need to do something humorous with your pubic hair to distract from your horrible penis. Just a downward facing arrow. Yeah. Like it's an elevator button. A thumbs down. It's an elevator button. It should say up and down. Sad face. I don't think, I don't think the pubes are going to be your, your, your method of redemption from that.

I don't look at, man, if people had known that I had a micropenis in high school, I would have killed myself. I was fortunate enough to have that moment like Woody did where a girl was like, it's pretty big. And like it got around and I was like, yes. Let's read the story as if she didn't say medium. My chat after that week was like medium, medium, medium. That is the, I love that story of yours where you're like medium, nice. That was the best I could hope for at 12.

Dude, if it were a legit micro penis, like I, I think I killed myself. Well, I mean, what is your style of pubes that you clearly have something in mind that is like funny enough to distract or a different idea? Well, I was just imagining a life with one and it's a dark, dark road that you know, so I'm just thinking like, what would I do down there? Would I just completely have a thicket so you can't even see anything? You'd have to get into politics. I'm going to run for Senator of South Carolina. Completely have a thicket so you can't even see anything you'd have to get into politics

Senator of South Carolina I'm never gonna get I'm only gonna have gay sex with my ass. So I mean even bigger truck. I'm sure Yeah Truck, I'm gonna need to roll coal. Yes Rude you know what that means, right? Yeah. It means you like get the like sooty exhaust all over the place. Yeah. I don't know what they're doing other than like maybe they're downshifting or something to run more RP. They're putting, no, they have a chip in there that feeds too much fuel and it leaves unburnt out the exhaust. All right. That's

unforgivable. That's the more power. It's not an efficient thing, but like it may be in this rare case where you're going up a hill with a trailer or something. OK. I didn't know that. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. OK. I'm OK with it now, I guess. Although I'm OK with it if you need it for the power, if you're doing it for the show or to abuse someone around you now It's not okay anymore. What do you think about when people put fucking train horns on their truck?

Cuz I think that's the funniest thing ever. I It's even better on a motorcycle. You see the train horn on a motorcycle. I've they make Obnoxious horns for motorcycles. I don't know if it's literally a train horn But yeah, like you had to find a spot to mount that it's big You know the sound of a train horn, but yeah, like you have to find a spot to mount that it's big. You know, the sound of a train horn, of course, is that they put that on. We what you do it again. What? Fuck you.

It goes by. They put that exact horn on trucks. Oh, there's a motorcycle. A lot of people look. All right. Let's. Oh, I don't love it, but it's better on that bike than it is on trucks. Oh, there's a motorcycle. A lot of people look. All right, let's. Oh, I don't love it, but it's better on that bike than it is on most. I want it to go.

What about those ones that go like, I had a friend with that. I used to go off roading and he had this beat up POS Toyota truck from like 1985 or 84, which are highly valued in the off-roading community. And whenever he did a difficult obstacle, he'd hit the Dixie horn.

It was, we all loved it. Yeah. Oh, is that what the, is that from, oh shit, what's that Dixie show? Dukes of Hazard. Oh, that's where that's from. But it's also just Dixie, the song. Okay, so that was a horn beforeie show. Dukes of Hazard. Oh that's where that's from. But it's also just Dixie, the song. Okay so that was a horn before that show. It was a song before the show.

I've forgotten look away look away look away Dixieland. Oh okay. It's a catchy little song. It does. It's also the horn well. I think it might be the confederate anthem or at least it became such. Whistling Dixie Okay. Whistling Dixie. Well, I like it. Before we move on to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of absolutely fantastic sponsors. Today's episode of PKA is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals.

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give your money a chance to grow. So if Batman got his name through his crippling fear of bats, what would our names be? Ooh, Deathman. Deathman, forgot to pay his mortgage man. Captain Intimacy. Captain Intimacy. Professor Eight-Hour Workday. Professor Eight- eight hour workday.

Professor eight hour workday. Oh my God. That's Dr. 9 to 5. Zach said I would be the calculator. Yeah, I don't know. What would it be? It'd be like, oh, I got my name because I can't emotionally open up to anyone unless I'm doing an impression of someone else. I feel vulnerable and I open up to people and I

worry it's going to be used against me. So I keep it all inside. Yeah, I don't know. I guess death is the most salient. I'm scared of dying. That seems... I'm really... I'm more scared and this is trite, but I'm more scared of dying than I'm scared of death. To have the end of the road in front of you so closely, that whole lead up has got to be the most existentially horrifying right here. 52 you're in the mix man. What did Bill Burr call that drop dead age? He's like nobody be surprised if it did. Is that what his new special is about? Yeah I also scrolled past it. Something like that. I'm not afraid of death per se, but I guess I am afraid of dying.

That does make sense. I don't want to go through the process. Like if I just didn't wake up, that doesn't seem so bad. But if I got into a car accident, got mauled, I don't want to go through all that. Death itself is still scary though. No, I'm ready.

Let's go. You're not going to be in. I think there's something else. I'm starting to think there may be something else. Nothing good or anything, but like it could be good. Nah, it's not. Let's go. You're not gonna be something else. I'm sorry. I think there may be something else Nothing, nothing good or anything, but like it could be good No, it's not gonna be good. Why would it be? I don't want to be bad anything else And it's why I'm gonna say that death is everybody's problem But mine like I I've been put myself in stupid situations where I had to fight to stay alive and I do

but if I didn't that's really a you problem I'm the only one not suffering here yeah you guys got something to figure out Jackie's got something to figure out the kids got emotional scars but me I'm the only one who's okay from my death I'm starting to believe in simulation theory more and more so we might just wake up somewhere else like the boot Like they might might have been right about reincarnation just wrong about what it is. I Think that's a relation really that seems as out there as like the Hindu reincarnation. It seems less out there than any religion

Because because I don't believe in the like the magical beings But I but but computers exist and I play a video game every day where there's NPCs and shit in there. So I can kind of extrapolate that out to where I'm the NPC. But the kind of being that could create a simulation like the one we're in, if that's what it was, like that's just like God at that point. Like what is what would even differentiate that level of intelligence? And I don't know that from a God to us. Well, well, like it's about your perspective, right? You go to those North Centile,

Sentinelese islanders, and they'll think I'm God. Give me a few minutes and I want to try and fucking kill you and eat your white flesh at first. But I'm going to land on like a hoverboard and I'm going to use like a sonic Weapon to deafen them and make them fall to the ground or something I'm gonna shoot one of them with a taser and then I'm gonna like do some sort of science experiment and make the water Turn red and then black again

Maybe I'll show up right before a solar eclipse and tell them if and and I'll make that part of my show I can convince him. I'm God just give me some resources If you go in there and like they haven't discovered math yet or anything or like writing language. No. And so like you really could bamboozle them with most anything. Yeah. All I'm saying is like, like what's that thing, woody with, um, it's like, um, is it Turing something or another? The, the, the way that your tips let no, then it's something else. I'm, I'm,

I'm this construed. It's the thing oh where they Moore's law yeah yeah like like you could almost extrapolate out though to how advanced how much more advanced we would need to be to simulate the universe and fully from where we are now and I don't think it's God hood it's you know it's a lot more advanced but it's not God yeah but from where we're sitting like oh that got the guy running the program is our God. I'll bow down. I'll worship. I'll burn incense, whatever he needs to keep the servers running. I don't want to be in a simulation. That's okay. I do. Maybe, maybe we're, uh, maybe we're people, uh, doing something else and we're just in that simulation while we, our bodies travel to the

planet. We're all going to colonize or something cool like that what if we woke up and they're like how was your dream like oh my god that's right my name's kevin not kyle i'm an astronaut i'm an astronaut imagine that in my case like my wife and kids would be gone it was all a dream yeah you know that happens to a guy there was a guy who had a head injury and claims that he lived a whole life during a brief period of time that he was in like comatose from that head injury. And that man's name was Jean-Luc Picard. Well, that also, that did happen to Jean-Luc Picard. That was real. That wasn't fake. That was a, that was an alien probe.

That was a real episode of the show. That was a real episode. No, that happened to Jean. I saw it happen. No, but that guy claimed that he lived a whole life and had a family and everything. And I think that he was so distraught about losing that family, almost like a phantom limb syndrome, but memory that he may have killed himself afterwards. It was a, I remember reading about that. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe we're in horrible. I'd like to believe that we're in a simulation. Taylor, why is that bad? Why is it good? Cause there's something else, there's something bigger. There's something more complex.

There's something behind all this. There might be a reason for our suffering, our lives, our grind. Why would that be better than life? Because purpose gives meaning. Purpose gives meaning. Otherwise we're just twiddling our thumbs in the darkness of the universe.

And it's so much bigger than us that we are truly just worthless grains of sand, just literally nothingness. But if this is all some big computer program, we're all being tested in some way, or if we're NPCs in a thing to show 25th century people what the 21st century was like, just before World War III, maybe we're part of that simulation. They're like, ah, we're just running in a museum somewhere on a loop and the people are coming in and watching our sim. Well, then why, you know, I get, uh, Mr.

Programmer, I understand why you had to do this to test it, but like, why'd you give me like a problem regulating my weight? Other side, like you said, Hey, this thing is so big, we're just worthless grains of sand. When I think about it on how we're just worthless grades of sand, it lowers my sense of responsibility. Like, you know what? I am a tiny little grain of sand in this giant beach.

All I really need to do is like maintain the house, keep the people around me fed. That's it really, like close. This bar is not as high as I thought it was. I can do that. I don't know if it matters. I just don't know if it matters. Like are the people we love and the relationships we have

and the people we protect and look out for, like I just don't know if it matters, if it's, you know. Nothing matters, it's harder. You, nothing. You said it's hard. You said you enjoyed the idea of like being part of something bigger, but wouldn't it be like if you get to pick one where it's like you were either made by like a God and you matter because of that or you were made by a simulation guy who's testing something and you matter because you're integral to the simulation. Like I'd rather the former because that seems more meaningful to me than like

I'm hoping that they're just studying or my version of a simulation theory is like I described like maybe we're just the program that runs in a museum somewhere. We're not even a big deal. We're not some master program ran by the future equivalent of a world. We're like Tamagotchi. Yeah, we're you were Tamagotchi. Yeah, we're as simple as world. We're like Tamagotchi. Yeah, you were Tamagotchi. Yeah, we're as simple as that.

We're a child or something like that. That's a terrible fantasy. I hate that. Yeah, that would suck. But if we're like, what if we like die and then a pod opens up and we slide out and we remember our real life? We're not, you know, sometimes you're a dream.

You're a cowboy. You're not thinking I'm a cowboy, but I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna be Taylor. You're like, hi, this is the cowboy laugh. All right. Yeah, but then you wake up and you're like, you wake up and you're like, I'm not a cowboy. Fun fantasy though. Like what if you woke up and you're like, I'm not Taylor. I'm Captain Benjamin Cisco. I this is mine. This space station is mine. I got to look out for the Bajorans. And then you know, you go about your life, you know, being Captain Cisco, you're gonna have to get used to being black, but it's the 23rd century, I think. So it's not even a concern anymore.

Cops, that'd be fine. I get to be a captain. Take a look at commander, but later on, you'll get promoted. Okay, well, pretty sure commanders are higher ranked than captain. It's not. I mean, it does sound fair. This is a stupid simulation. Yeah. It's not even a simulation, it's just ranks. No, I mean the way the simulation works. Captain is not higher than commander.

It is. It is in Star Trek, he is right about that. Oh, in Star Trek. It is in military. But I also can see that commander sounds cooler than captain. Yeah, I'd rather be a commander. I mean, commander's the second in command, I believe.

Like on a nuclear submarine, I know the executive officer is, I think that's the commander. He's like second in command, and then there's the captain. No, it would be admiral. We need a superlative. I want to be like screen commander. There's no admiral on a fucking nuclear submarine. He's in an office in fucking...

Yeah, master and commander. Yeah, the great commander. Like there's a lot of ways we could go with this, but commander is the coolest title. Emperor is the best title. That's pretty cool. Tsar is pretty cool just because it sounds cool. Yeah. What does our mean?

I think that like it was originally some Russian thing and then it sounded so cool that they like everyone else was like czar that's pretty sick we're gonna put like czar of fucking finance in our in our government and whatnot. That checks out I looked at my imagination. One having great power or authority. And that checks out with me Woody because I made it up. I don't know. So what you think that commander is this is like I know we got in the argument about like like buying a Duke ship or if like

a when you can go to see that was a big scam it turned out I got all that I got uncovered what we already cashed the check. When you say it got uncovered as a scam, everyone knew that, right? No, it was presented so they got sued. They're in legal trouble because of their false claims of actually providing... You can't sue me! I'm the king of the sea land! Your laws make no difference to me. I mean, didn't you have to own land in a place or something? Did they sell you an atom of land or something like that? No, you can buy them in regular England because we also learned that. You could do the seal and drought or maybe it wasn't England.

Maybe it was Scotland where you could like buy some one yard by one yard parcel. You were buying like a Duke ship or something like a title. They were selling different levels. You could be like a Baron or you could be a Duke and they had different pricing. If I recall. Yeah, they got sued. Yeah. Yeah, they got sued. So we had a sponsor that said they sold you land and they got sued. Yeah, that's, that's who we're talking about. The land is what made you a Duke.

You needed to be a landowner in Scotland to be a duke of Scotland. Yeah. So they sell you like a patch of land that has like one and a half trees on it. And then like, all right, you're a square foot. Oh, OK. They give you a patch of tree. My God. No, no. I got a right to come along with my duke ship.

A patch with a tree and a half in it. I mean like a one yard thing where it's like this is my land I get most of this tree and some of that one. Scottish trees are worth more than your life my friend You don't even know. No, it turned out to be a big scam. They got sued. Oh, man Well, that sucks I guess for all those fake dukes. That is one big negative that we have here in the US. Not enough cool titles. We're working on it. Have you ever thought about like how stupid,

like secretary of defense? The secretary of defense, that's fucking gay. It should be the grand warlord or something intense. Secretary. War master. War master, that's fine too, just not secretary. Bring, war master. War master. That's fine too. Just not my master of war. Yeah.

Secretary is for girls. Checks out. That's true. Checks out. Yeah. I just looked at my opinion. I remember as a young kid thing in that would be like the secretary of like my parents are

watching TV and I just hear it while I'm playing with connects like the secretary of defense stated to President Clinton that and it's like secretary the highest guy is like the guy in charge of the generals which is a cool name is a secretary. Oh, that's funny because I went the other way. I was like why is the Secretary of Defense talking to the President? Shouldn't the person in charge be doing this? Yeah, the Secretary of Defense should be blowing him like that one bitch I hear about when my parents are watching the news.

Have you spoken to the Secretary of Defense? No, but I have spoken to the Manager of Defense. Trust me, it's all fine. It doesn't make any sense at all. The Defense Czar, the war king. War king? I like war master. I like war master. I've been watching, um, that old show Marco Polo. It's from 10 years ago on Netflix.

I'll tell you how I knew it was going to be good, Taylor. Soon as it comes on opening credits, a Weinstein company production. Every chick in this show, a smoke show Asian. They have, they have so many titties. I would say 180 titties so far. And I'm in, I just finished season one. I don't know how many pussies you see full pussy, buttholes. I saw a butthole Taylor cock everywhere, everywhere. Was this before they got rid of only dick nudity? Oh, this is yes, we're lost 10 years ago All right, they got rid of non and they've got that full Game of Thrones energy

They're throwing the twat right at you left and right. They have a whole scene. That's like they're picking the new concubines for the for Kubla Khan the con of cons and They've got like two rows of women like military, like standing there buck naked. And they're just walking past them like, hmm, pretty good. Oh, very nice. We'll have a contest now to see which one of you can make this hot chick come the hardest. And so they have a contest to see which one of the new there's like 40 new hot women women slaves and they all are going to try to make this other hot woman just come while some other people watch this is to judge on her pleasuring skills to see if she can be the the the the cons new that rules just Marco Polo's watching he's like hell yeah after

this tomorrow I got to discover Brazil but tonight I'm watching you make it to episode Kyle I've made it all the way through season one yeah because I Tomorrow I got to discover Brazil, but tonight I'm watching. Did you make it to episode two, Kyle? I've made it all the way through season one, yeah. Cause I Googled it to do my research. And in season two, I'm sorry, episode two, there's this woman smoke show doing the kata, like practicing her karate moves. And she gets attacked by a team of ninjas

and she beats them all buck naked. Yes. Stealing their, what is a pole with a knife on the end called? I might call it a halberd. A halberd. That's what a halberd is. Japanese version. It's, it's interesting. I know the scene you're talking about.

Um, so I like the show. It's good. The downsides of the show. It reminds me a lot of, um, uh, Shogun and a little bit of like Kingdom of Heaven. There's a lot of court intrigue. Basically Kublai Khan, the Khan of Khans, he's Genghis Khan's grandson, is trying to conquer China. And Marco Polo is his European round eye. He's like very, he's very interested in him because he these languages and he's he's almost a poet in the way

he describes Things that he sees the con immediately recognized how perceptive and intelligent that Marco is and so when he needs to somebody to go Look at something he'll send he'll say Marco you go to and come back and tell me what you see and he'll always be more Intuitive he'll see things that the cons men won't see. But mixed in with that is a little bit of that fucking kung fu bullshit that you roll your eyes at. You just got to get over that. There's some kung fu. There's some like, like one of the main bad guy, they call him the cricket emperor or something like that because he studies mantis

all the time. He's always talking about his mantises and he watches him fight and he him and his buddy fight mantises together and he fights in mantis style. So you get past that silliness and the rest of it's pretty cool. Because does he ever get like his ass kicked because he's trying to do like Mantis Stire and he's someone else has a sword. It's the opposite. He's like such a badass that he's like who is your champion? And they're like fucking Bo Agrius and they bring out like Japanese Bo Agrius and he cripples him with his mantis style and breaks His neck in front of a whole army like it doesn't break a sweat. So you immediately realize he's a bad guy He also buy forcibly binds a little girl's feet, you know, that Chinese foot binding where they like break their feet.

They love that. Yeah. He like does it to like get to like make the mother do things for him. So lots of evil bad guys. And then the Mongolians are just awesome. Like it's fun to watch the Mongolians do their thing because, you know, they're warlords who are just brutal and awful. Good show. Kung Fu movies as a child.

And you know how kids are like, man, you know, I, whatever quicksand is going to be a big problem for me growing up. I need to learn how to identify this. I remember going through the thought exercise of like, what should I learn? Should it mantis style, Tiger style, drunken style? What kind of Kung Fu artist do I want to be when I grow up? I didn't pick any. And then, no, it turns out it's like,

oh, this is all silly nonsense. I did study Kung Fu once, but it was silly nonsense. I think that the guy's Marco Polo is being taught Kung Fu. And the guy, I think the guy, I don't know if this is even true. Did they say his name right? Mr. Polo is being taught Kung Fu and the guy I think the guy I don't know if this is even true I didn't say his name, right? Mr. Poro It's good, I definitely highly recommend it there's two seasons of it

They seem to be spending like ten million dollars an episode or something. It looks good Like when they're riding horses, they're real horses and when they're outside, they're really outside most of the time It looks like they went to Mongolia to film. There's two really unimpressive things you listed though. Really? Horses are real and they're really outside. That's a rare thing in modern TV and film. Maybe in the Marvel universe, but I feel like a lot of places they film outside.

Not giant scenes with hundreds of horsemen though. Oh, so it's like a big Rohan style fight. Okay, I see what you're saying. Well, they're just always outside on the Mongolian steps seemingly. Like, you know, it's endless sky. It's like Wyoming or something. Like the giant blue sky everywhere.

I think that's the Mongolian like religion. They keep praising the blue sky above. Interesting thing about Genghis Khan and his descendants, they allowed all the religions. That keeps coming up over and over. Someone will be like, ah, you're fucking Christian friends. And he's like, my grandmother was a Christian. What are you talking about? It was like, I've got, there's like Jews and Hindus and Christians and Buddhists and Taoists

all intermixing freely in the in the Kingdom of the Khan. Yes. We allow all different cultures in Mongolian Empire. That's how we know that we will never in the future be laughed at as one of the shortest running empires in global history. Was it? I'm also yeah Mongolian Empire didn't last long at all. It was the biggest though in history. Yeah in the biggest though in history. Yeah, in the same way, like if I take a red flag and I like sprint past my neighborhood and plant it, I'm like, this is all mine. Like the people didn't even know I passed by.

I think they conquered China and like Eurasia and Russia. They conquered all of China, I think. I don't know. I'm just in season two, though. Currently, we're in South China. They're in South China in the like they own South China currently in the show. I think it was pretty big in China. Hmm. OK.

No, you're right. They did. They did take all of China. Huge apologies to the Mongolian Empire. Huge apologies. And Kublai Khan would be the one in particular to apologize to. 1206 to 1294 was their expansion era. And then when did it fall? It probably...

1368. And that was a nominal leader. OK, so not it still doesn't look like very long. Of course, that was the smallest one ever. I hear every one of them. You know, I think you just guessed. You didn't hear that. I was looking at one long nail.

He's like, I have to take care of it. I thought that was going to be really quiet. You just need to be like, oh, snap it. Let's so we've got a little game. This is what he's idea. He found he found a whole bunch of dirty ladies on the Internet. And then Zach has gone through and I think he's organized them up for us. And I believe the name of the game is,

what did this woman do to get herself arrested? Yeah. I don't know if Zach's thing is the same as mine or did he come up with something different? I'm not sure. I think it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay. I think he just organized them with the mug. Same thing. Oh, okay, okay. I didn't realize what Zach had made out of it. I think it's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I think he just organized them. So with the same thing. Oh, okay. Okay. I didn't realize what Zach had made out of it. Well, let's see. All right. Let's see lady number one here. Let's see.

Give me two seconds. Give me two seconds. All right. All right. Ugh. It's just like time's up. It's always something with this guy. Little worse circles. Have we ever been circles before?

I like this. You know what? Gavin McInnes needs to apologize. Our production value is pretty off the chart. That's true. And we don't even know how good his production value is now. Broad's behind bars. I'm digging it.

Names? I wanted to be able to give myself a voice. I had to send the dogs upstairs. It was two seconds. Okay. So, brides behind bars. And, okay, there we go. Okay, so this is a...

All right, she is not bruised. She's not bloodied. She has a slight smirk. She has makeup on. So this happened out and about. This wasn't a home thing. She... I'm going to say possession

and maybe DUI. I... Me? I'm getting slutty slut slut vibes off this chick. I'm gonna say. Public sex of some sort. That's my guess. Public sex. And it is?

Public nudity and resisting arrest. Get on my level. Why didn't Taylor get a chick? I didn't get to go, but you fucking, I was right about to say resisting arrest in public nudity. And so that's important for me as far, no, you're good.

I was going to say possession of a controlled substance and I was gonna guess cocaine. Okay. I would have been wrong. Oh my God. They're all giving off slut vibes. Less makeup. I made it hard.

Maybe. Yeah, you did. All right. This. That's a joke. I don't know. She's a rapist. I don't think she's a rapist. I don't think she's a killer. I think she's on something. I'm going DWA. Kyle, you're muted. I've just got in my head, possession of a controlled substance. I like it. And I'm going to say that it is prescription pills.

Kyle? Domestic abuse. Good choice. It is DWI. Ooh. That's a good one. Now Woody did guess two things, kind of, but I think that's equal to that.

But the fact that Kyle and I missed what he gets a point. I'm saying narcotics are involved. So like, yeah, possession and it's usually something to like get them caught. But I'm going to say gonna say like possession with intent. Like you look, I don't know, I don't like her eye brush, that line shaved in her eyebrow and she looks pretty rough. Her attitude says simple assault. Yep, I bet.

I think she got in a fight at a gas station. I love that. What did she do? She- Salt and rice. What? Where? Wow.

At a gas station? I think she beat the shit out of someone at fucking Bucky's. All right, now this one is possession of a controlled substance. She is... No, fuck. I don't like that. No, this lady killed somebody. She's hard as fuck.

You think she killed somebody? I'm gonna go with murder, Zach. I'm gonna go with murder Zack I'm gonna go this lady smoke somebody you say she's hard as fuck. I see it She looks like shares mean sister She had an abortion and some Someone's fat but it was the kind of abortion where like she had the baby and then threw it away Dumpster baby she dumpster baby. That's my final answer.

What do you, I don't know. She was controlled. Two ounces, two ounces. Pretty cool chick. All right. Well, this one here, She looks a little happy. I think there's MDMA involved. I'm going to say that possession of controlled sex. She's got lip injections, party girl, blonde. She was engaged and she's given a coy little smile

and she's got a nose ring, wh public sex public indecency that's what they call it public prostitution like whatever DWI at McDonald's without tires and refused to rest she needed to pee well it sounds like a good girl she just needed to pee okay anyone get points see I don't like how you put a little bit more You put a little more exposition on this one, but not on the one, you know There was so many that just said DWI I went through like 80 different pictures and I found 20 of them that were usable And not the same thing Okay, I'm eating to pee and resisting arrest at the same time sounded hilarious to me

Very white trash. I'm keeping a rape bullet in the chamber because one of them is soliciting. What do they call prostitution? Maybe prostitution. If you're vaguely close, I got you. I think soliciting prostitution is like when you're the guy trying to get a prostitute. She's selling that cootie. You think she's selling? The coochie. That's what I'm thinking. This has got'm looking for. This has got to be drugs. This has got to be drugs. Yeah, this has to be drugs. She has a fucking ace of hearts on one.

And it looks like, what is that, like an ace of clubs? No, it looks like a fleur de lis. I see the ace of diamonds. It's a fleur de lis and a diamond. Oh. Okay. That's an ace of diamonds. It's a name.

Yeah, it looks like a diamond. Yeah. What is that word, Kyle? Fleur de lis, I don't know what that is. A flirt elite on her other cheek. The black one. You know, the Saints logo. It's Yeah. So the French looking Yeah, I thought we were all talking about the red. All right. This one is definitely

something violent. Look at those. Look at those fucking dead eyes. Drugs baby. She's holding eyes. Drugs baby. She's holding. She got, she assaulted someone. I'm going to go meth too. She, I don't know, her face looks pretty clean for meth, but she could be dabbling. We don't know. I'm going to say she assaulted someone at a bar. We got theft, stripping, stealing vehicles, breaking and entering vehicles vehicles and then possession of a firearm Shit times and notice it. She's like hunter Biden's ideal woman. I Don't like that neck tattoo you can tell she's bad news. Yeah, it's a flower Taylor that's supposed to be nice and soft

You're naked too. I hate that. I hate neck.. I think it's a bad decision. Oh my God. Even better neck tattoos. This looks like a Baldur's Gate character. What the fuck? All right, she has an- I'm gonna have to randomize on the character creator. Yeah, okay, so this lady has a lot of lip makeup, eyelash extensions, that weird hair thing you see

where it's like ironed onto their forehead in a very ridiculous way. I can't read what that says about risk taker. Is that what it says? Risk taker above those listening. This chick has a tattoo above her eyebrow that says risk taker and cursive. Yeah. And then she has an HP with a dollar sign in between it. That means she's got a lot of money in printers. of money in printers. I was going to say, dude, all I know for sure about this woman is her mixed tape is not as good as she thinks it is. Oh, that's a trouble. And she has like an almost like an Asian stylized on with an eye on it in on her throat. I think she was arrested for being a tasteless bitch.

I'm going with simple assault. Ah, I mean, I mean, face tattoos. I'm thinking meth, man. I just got to be some drugs. Okay. I thought this was guaranteed for Kyle. This is just battery on a police officer. I was close. I believe that this is harder than the game where we already knew they were all. What did she do? This woman stole from the bake sale. She didn't wear a mask. They wanted her to mask up. It's not wearing a mask. It's the COVID violation 100%. This is like just a pretty all-American girl. There's no way she did anything bad. It could be the ultimate cover. I'm going DWI.

I'm gonna go, you know, simple, simple girl doesn't look like a criminal possession of marijuana, not any of the hard drugs, just a weed possession and not a ridiculous amount less than an ounce. Driving without insurance maybe. Oh, yeah yeah i thought you were gonna go the right path taylor you completely missed it she was a russian spy mlington. I can't serve you. Why? Because you're a mannequin. Yeah. What the fuck is this?

She doesn't look real. She looks like a dozen. Like if I saw that sex doll online, I'd be like, whew, let me find one of those realistic ones instead. She doesn't look like a person. Dead eyes, too. Yeah. What did't look like a person. Dead eyes too. Yeah, did she do? Shoplifting.

Oh, that's good. I lean I'm going back to prostitution. I feel like this one's been trafficked or something. She's got those dead eyes. I'm on like strike four assault. Whoa, I'm terrible at this game. I'm giving Woody credit for that

no matter what you say, Kyle. This one is fantastic you guys will. Weed. Underage uh sex with a minor. She's got her eyes. Her eyes have a red tint. She does. She like she was high a while ago but she's not high anymore and so this is this is weed weed possession with intent to distribute. She does not have any red in those eyes. I'm I'm going with possession only because I don't want to copy Kyle. K. We have pissing and shaking

public just an American girl. When you gotta go, you gotta go. That's crazy. She's not even Indian. Out of all these girls, this is not the girl I would have expected to be pissing and shitting in public. No. What about this one? This one. Now, she's having a good time. She won't let anything, even getting arrested, slow her down. So she was, she is a drunken disorderly.

Oh, I love it. I know in DWI, but I like yours more. I'm going to go with an assault. She, she fucks somebody up and she feels good about it. Public drinking, 21 under 21 and resisting arrest. I bet she ran. I'm going to give me a point. Yeah.

Okay. That is disorderly resisting arrest. She was drunk and disorderly. So you were just way too young. That's all. Yeah. Who did this bitch? What did she do?

Man, she's arrested for losing a fight. Maybe or maybe Kyle, maybe this is the one where this is like a teacher that was fucking like a 12 year old student. And I bet there's one like murder and one like pedophile mixed in. So I'm gonna play she, she was doing something with an underage kid.

I think she hurt her significant other really bad, maybe kill them Like I haven't gotten one yet Battery domestic violence. I was gonna say domestic abuse. I'm giving myself a point. I'm gonna give Woody a point for that I don't think Kyle gets one. Unfortunately, I Think Kyle gets it The big thing is is she was on a first date and forgot to tell him that he was she was in the BDSM and spanked Him a little too hard dating violence oh well that's wow just if you're keeping score at home woody has seven i have six kyle has two i didn't think i had two um she looks like a foreign invader

to me like this looks like somebody who invaded the united states illegal immigrants yeah right they just stole her baby from her to teach the other people a lesson. It works. It works. But she is a coyote. And that baby was leaving hers. This is an illegal immigrant. This is an illegal and we're sending it to El Salvador. Get Fox Lady. I'm drug trafficking. I think she's wearing prison clothes implying to me she's been there for a while. She's got a big thing. I'm drug trafficking. I think she's wearing prison clothes, implying to me she's been there for a while. She's got a big thing. I like drug trafficking a lot, but it's taken so...

Attempted murder. Hey, what do you got, bud? I said illegal. She's an illegal immigrant. Domestic terrorism. Domestic terrorism? What does that mean? Like, don't burn dinner

or I'm gonna bomb the world tree. Weapon while committing a felony. I knew she'd been in prison for a minute by the close. Okay. I'll burn the Tesla. I like how cute all these girls are. I like the eyes on this one. You think that's genetic?

Heterochromia, I think that's called. I think that's a... Or it could be a, or it could be contact lens. Yeah. They would make her take it out. Oh, I bet Kyle's right. They didn't make her take out the streamers that are in her hair. Yeah, but no one thinks that she's a my little pony. No, I keep missing. I suck at this.

We all do. All right. She got arrested for, all right, I'm gonna get possession of a controlled substance at one. Like if I shoot it again, I have to get it at some point. I'm gonna say she's a prostitute. Although none of them have been.

Yeah, we'll get one of them. I'm gonna go with murder. I'm gonna keep going back to that well. Cause I feel like one of them. You keep saying the same thing. Yeah, I mean, I haven't, I don't, you've given me two points, but I don't think I deserve them.

You have one, you got one, Greg. Grant theft $800. She stole jewelry. She stole a purse. Ooh, I like how you are muted. Your audio is just not coming in. I don't see the muted. I didn't say anything. Oh, Cal, do you know what she stole? Ah, a penis. She stole a penis. Is that $800? Marina Bobbitt did that.

She went into a tattoo parlor, had them tattoo her all day, walked right out without paying them. That's no way I could have guessed that. I wouldn't have guessed that. No, I thought purse was like the most common. All right. This one was like, I don't know. She our last last dirty. It'll be our last one.

Yeah, she didn't want to... She didn't want to marry her cousin on an Amish compound. It looks like the type that bang a kid. I was going to say it's cool to teach you the bangs kids. This time, Kyle and I, same guess. We're all in on banging kids for the final guess. Less weed than a Russian YouTuber. Less than two ounces of weed. All right. We are not good at this, gentlemen. No, no. I apologize for making it too hard. I guess I got too interesting with it. No, it's okay. It's just that they're

all none of them want all of them to be DWI. You know, that's AIDS. Yeah, you need to you need to have a little variety. Kind of wanted a murder or a there's like a Six more something like that. Yeah, I think we're I think we're good on these I think we're good rest show boys. We're not thank you very much Zach. Yeah, I don't think I think we're much better at picking when it's already narrowed down to a form of rape And you can only say a couple of things. It's like, you're never going to stay with the child molestation. Then those usually get more, those more lighthearted. Well, good point. So I don't know if you saw this. What do you,

you know, Vitaly Z, right? He's, Oh sure. The weightlifting guy who with the heavy mop bothers people. So Vitaly Z the, uh, the YouTuber, uh, who's a Russian guy who did prank videos about 10 years ago, got real big. Um, nowadays he mostly does like live streaming stuff, like in person, like walking down the street, doing stuff. I saw he's done some pedophile catching too. I'm sure he doesn't have a heavy mop. I'm so sure that I know that's anton

Antelope's yeah yeah yeah that's different guy that's different guy this is Vitaly Z and he was in the Philippines doing a bit of live streaming and he's in a lot of trouble now I the clip I saw he was trying to get this lady to like film with him on the street and he he was like Look over him. I'll fucking kill you I'm gonna fucking kill you if you don't get over here and like said something very similar to that And I think he I think what I read was they can hold him in a terrifying Philip

Philippines jail for like two years awaiting his trial And it seems like the Filipino government is trying to make an example of him because you know you had that Johnny Somali guy also I think in Korea and Japan running around streaming assaulting people doing crazy disrespectful cultural stuff. I think they're going to make an example out of battalion here. It's looking rough for him. I saw a press conference. They wheeled him out in the handcuffs and he's like trying to put his hat on and they're like, no. And he's like, okay, you stand here. We'll let us look at you American. Yeah. I think he's originally from Russia, but he, I'm sure he lives in America

full time. Okay. Yeah. well. I've met him before. That's pretty shitty. That whole genre of streamer whose whole thing is like, I'm gonna go into a Korean restaurant and harass people. And it's like, fuck you. That's so rude. So rude. I don't know that he was doing exactly

what like Johnny Somali does and exactly what some other people I've seen do where they. I saw he was in trouble for something called menacing, like unlawful menacing, where it's basically like threatening people. It's what I'm describing. I think like where it seemed like he wanted the lady to he was going to be like, all right, name, you know, how many how many continents are in Africa or something. He was going to like do some questionnaire bullshit. And she didn't want any part of it and kept walking away.

And he's just like Fuck kill you fuck kill you feel good fuck over just like had a little meltdown on her like threatening to kill her It seemed to kind of tongue-in-cheek, but also a little fucking scary But I've seen some of those guys that just walk up the Koreans and like punch him I've seen the Koreans walk up to Johnny Somali and punch him. And I got to say, makes a lot of sense. Yeah. You got to root for the Koreans in that situation. You got to root for the Koreans. This guy's going around treating them like shit, harassing, menacing them

in their own country. And that guy, his name's Johnny Somali, but I think he's from America. And so he's making us look like dickheads. Don't like that. That's hard to do. He's giving us Americans a bad name. Yes. Yes. We're good global citizens. I don't know how good you keep it up.

Philippines. Yeah, I think a lot of trouble. I think they're going to. It reminded me of when Bart got in trouble in Australia and they were going to boot him. They had that enormously oversized boot. they were going to boot him. They had that enormously oversized boot. They're going to kick him in the ass with. Yep.

Yeah. All because I don't remember what he did to get the boot in Australia. It's a funny episode. So that backwards country just takes people who are foreigners and locks them up without due process. It's fucking weird. I think this is part of the due process. He's been, no, he's, he's there legally. He's just like menacing and harassing and threatening people.

And so they're like, you can't do that here in the Philippines, bitch. They could hold them for two years. That was the part I was stuck on. Oh, well, I mean, they, they hold you for as long as, you know, it takes to get around. What is the sentence for mean words? Probably not that long. Like what is the sentence for mean words? Probably not that long. In the Philippines? Yeah. I mean, it's what I was reading. I don't know if Philippines, right?

Singapore is the one that has that like extremely. Singapore has the crazy one, but Philippines are very strict too. Like most countries don't have even the idea that free speech is a thing. Like they're like, oh, you're, you know, you're harassing and so, yeah. Dude, you can get arrested for fucking internet posts

in Europe, like we're the good one. It's like as far as free speech. I read the number of people who were getting arrested in the UK per month and it was hundreds for their Facebook posts. Yeah. Really? Okay. Yeah. Cause when I looked it up, the Facebook post was like

something you should be arrested for. It was, you know, organizing some violence. It's usually people upset that a migrant has raped a child to death and then gotten off scot-free. Yeah, that's what it seems to be. I saw the one that burst in on the pregnant woman the other day and raped her and her baby died and he got like Less than a year or something like that

Yeah, and then some dude he's like, oh, I don't know about this, but I don't like me It's like I lock you up for longer than this El salvador doesn't seem like such a bad idea Uh versus some stuff like that. I don't I'll tell you what i'm not gonna talk out of line I don't want to get sent to el salvador. It seems like they're sitting anybody they don't want, I'll tell you what, I'm not gonna talk out of line. I don't wanna get sent to El Salvador. It seems like they're sitting in anybody they don't like down there. It seems sketchy.

Dude, if I went to the Philippines. Dude, somebody zoomed in on the El Salvadorian prison. And there's like some little back alley part of it where it looks like the ground was all soaked in blood. Like they were executing people in a back lot of the thing. By the way, the thing is so big. I mean, you can see anything from space now because of satellites, but like you can really see it from space. There's a list that place is big.

I mean, there's no way you can actually see it from space. What's the naked eye? Space is a spectrum, right? Like I think they can read a license plate from space. Yeah, even better. Oh, well, when I hear someone say you can see it from space I feel like there's a baked an assumption of like with the naked eye from the space Yeah, because otherwise it's really not impressive because it's like, you know, we can see what kind of what brand of glasses you wear From low earth orbit and it's like okay, but you were using technology I was I was blown away when I found out

You can't fucking see the Great Wall of China from space 35 feet. It's like 30 50 feet wide. How could you possibly see it? Total nonsense. You could totally see it from space. You just need the right viewing device. Yeah. But like we, but that doesn't count. It shouldn't count.

I see what the naked eye. No, it's like 30, 50 feet wide. And look at this. This isn't fun. On the other hand, Taylor, and this will blow your mind. You can see space from the Great Wall. Now, that I get.

That makes sense. You just look up and it's like, wow, space. Space is pretty neat. Kyle, do you have, I know you're always falling asleep to informational videos about quasars and neutron stars. Cosmology., implosions, cosmology. I want you to expand my mind a little bit right now and blow me away. Blow me away with some cosmic knowledge. I don't think I got anything new. I don't think I got anything new. The new thing is, and I can't speak on it because I didn't memorize everything they said, but I keep seeing all of my favorite cosmology

YouTubers are going over this James Webb Information that suggests that our universe exists within a black hole They keep going down this laundry list of things that if we did exist in a black hole you would expect to see X Y and Z and we do you would also expect to see a, Y, and Z. And we do. You would also expect to see A, B, and C. And we do. And they like go down this long laundry list of reasons why they believe our universe exists inside of a black hole. That's the most interesting thing that I've been trying to learn about. What were the things not putting you on the spot? I was trying to understand. Yeah. I don't know the things. Yeah. I don't know the things.

Kind of want to see the video though. There's a bunch of them. How would we exist in a black hole? I thought you were just annihilated if you were in a black hole. I don't know the things. I kind of want to see the video though. There's a bunch of them. There's a bunch of them. How would we exist in a black hole? I thought you were just annihilated if you were in a black hole. I don't know what's in a black hole, dude. Oh, well then all of those claims

aren't really useful or meaningful. Based on- Maybe if you watch the video. Yeah, based on the information that I provided with complete ignorance other than the topic, then yes. Nah. Oh, well then it's all bullshit. that I provided with complete ignorance other than the topic then yes. Oh well then it's all bullshit. I only saw the title in thumbnail. It sounds like hook'em to me. All I know is that the smartest people that I know how to find on the internet use the most expensive piece of scientific equipment ever created and they seem to all think the same thing might be a possibility and so I find that very interesting. Well yeah all the same people in that video think

that they're not going to bring some like Russian super genius or Philippine super genius who's like oh no this is wrong they all stupid. That's not one video it's a lot of different people talking about the discovery. Yeah well I gotta you, I don't like it. You don't like the thought that we're in a black hole because that's scary. Like in normal space, not in a black hole. Hmm. I don't know the difference anyway.

And again, I don't think we're really here anyway. I think it might just be a simulation. They were on those videos you see about black holes, they do the like, what if you entered a black hole? And then they describe the most harrowing thing you could imagine, where it's like, not only would you be stretched to infinity and beyond, but you'd experience it for a jillion years. And it's like, oh my god, this is worse. Spaghettification. They call it spaghettification. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like your theory or their, those theories because it means we're all just perhaps moments from spaghettification because we're right in the hole. Oh, no, no. No. But I don't think we have to worry about

black holes at all. Really? I don't think that's going to happen. You think that's like the adult quicksand? It's going to be fine. I don't think we have to worry about that one. Okay. How long until the sun blows up? Hundreds of billions of years. It can't be hundreds of billions. I thought it was like five. Why do you ask if you don't want the answer? It would be like if you said, Taylor, how big is an ice hockey rink in the NHL? And I said It would be like if you said, Taylor, how big is an ice hockey rink in the NHL? And I said 30,000 miles. You'd be like, wow, that doesn't seem right. That's all I'm saying is I thought it was like, like the single digit of billions until

the sun died. I don't know. I googled it. 4.5 to 5 billion years. That's low. We got to get fucking moving. I mean, that's Google AI, so. It won't explode though.

It'll expand into a red giant. Yeah. And then it will consume Mercury and Venus. And perhaps Earth as well. I think we're only gonna be close enough to that expansion based on a YouTube video I barely remember. Turn us into boulders.

Yes, we would die. We're all gonna, well, we just need to move the Earth, right? Well think about, like maybe those Jovian moons, those moons around Jupiter would be more habitable if the Sun were a red giant, right? Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. By that point, if we haven't seriously got moving through space, it's over.

I mean, we're not even us got moving through space, it's over. I mean, we're not even us in a billion years. You know what I mean? Like, if you go back a billion and look at like, what we were, I'm like, we're not even us. If we don't get our act together, the next four and a half to five billion years, it's over. We're in trouble, boys.

You know, this is where like a Michio Kaku would be like, and it will destroy itself in 4.5 billion years, which may seem like a long time, but cosmically it is the blink of an eye. And so it'd be like, oh, oh, that reminds me of Philomena Kunk. Have you seen the Philomena Kunk? He's a Simpsons character. What are you talking about? You don't know I'm talking about.

It's the British interviewer who plays dumb while she interviews brilliant people around the world And then she like kind of pranks them with her ignorance. I haven't seen that sounds funny. She's like I can't think of some good examples, but but she would for example, like she would ask that Haseo Akaki guy like when is the Sun going to you know melt the earth and he'd like Oh, it's gonna be four and a half billion years from now. She's like, oh no, oh no, we got to get a move on. We got to get a move on.

What are we going to do? She asked him, she's like, it's a good thing that those nuclear weapons aren't real. And he's like, well, they very much are real things. I've seen that clip. There are thousands of them, in fact, deployed around the world. She's like, yeah, but pretty much are real things. I've seen that clip. We have thousands of them, in fact, deployed around the world. She's like, yeah, but they're all duds, right? No. And she tears up at the realization that the world is nuclearized.

Oh, oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's very funny. She's hilarious. I love those interviews, that character she does. And a lot of the time those people don't see it coming and they'll get a little snotty. She's interviewing some professor of literature or something and she's like, so King Arthur,

he came a lot, right? And she's like, I believe you're referring to come a lot. No, no, it says right here to come a lot. No, no says right here came a lot Become more than an average man or like a teaspoon Well, the only evidence we have would get several sons Just like trying not to call this lady off the phone No, I've seen now that I looked her up, Diane Morgan is her name. I've seen like the picture added to like meme posts and things.

So and I just never really got it. Yeah, it's a whole bit. She's incredibly ignorant and that she's very strong headed. She will mispronounce things about what this person does for a living. You know, it's the like, um, actually it's this. She's like, no, says it right here. He came along. I like British humor. I, I, I like the dryness of British humor and I like the British. I don't know about the people. Um, Scandinavian humor is pretty good too. I like the dryness of British humor and I like the British. I don't know about the people. Um, Scandinavian humor is pretty good too. I like every now and then I,

I end up watching some Scandinavian sitcom and they also have this sort of like, I don't know. They it's dark. It's it's sort of a dark humor about death and uh, and things like that. I like their sense of humor as well. Yeah. And humor like, you know, the seasons are like death, rebirth, all of that. But it makes sense. Like the Scandinavians are living in a season where like the death portion of it is a lot bigger and longer than the rebirth part of it. Like the spring, like their springs probably aren't that awesome because the winters are so long. It's like the spring is brief and then you get the summer and then it's back into like a fall which is basically winter and then

just winter. Maybe that influences their humor. I would think they would have more time to sit around the fire and tell jokes. I feel like the harder... That is true. They do have silly voices. Like the harder your existence is not just as a culture, but just as a human being, the more developed and cultured your sense of humor will become. Like I bet those guys down in the like during the blitz in World War Two down in the subways hiding from the bombs or had some real knee slappers. You know, maybe you can also like develop humor just by being horrified of being ostracized in middle school. Hypothetically. Hypothetically, you could be so self-conscious that you've reverted into that from a young age. Similar levels of stress hormones probably.

Being in the blitz versus like eighth grade, similar stressors. Yeah. Make sense, sure, sure. It's stressful. Eighth grade sucks. Eighth grade's the worst age. Zach, can we find a picture of a man next to a grizzly bear? How jacked would you have to be

to be able to beat a grizzly bear? We've all said that we can't win. Can't put on enough muscles. No, no, no, no, no. These are not humans that exist in the real world. This is how jacked would a human have to be. Well, if he was nine foot 10 and weighed 530 pounds. Well, it would matter at some point at 17 feet tall.

He'll toss the grizzly bear around like bam, bam. I don't know about that. Might just disembowel you. The, the, he just, he's got tools like those claws and stuff. They take down those, those elk and moose and those things are like a ton and then like built for fighting off predators. I, we're, I don't know. We're just so much worse than at fighting than bears. I don't want to fight that ever. If I were four feet taller than a grizzly bear,

like if I'm 12 feet tall and it's eight feet tall, I'm still running. Like there's no way I have bear strength muscles. Like that. And I also don't have claws. I have shooting human eyes. The numbers are going higher than I expected, right? So you're looking to be like 22 feet tall I'd have to be enormous like I'd have to be I'd have to be so big that I could like put a foot out and like keep it at a distance because it would almost to be like like

that thing would be like a incredibly strong raccoon when you're that size except it would have the ability that if it got a good purchase a good purchase or an incredibly strong raccoon when you're that size, except it would have the ability that if it got a good purchase, a good purchase on your midsection, it's still gonna rake across it. Your giant innards are spilling out. See, I don't think it's stronger

than a raccoon pound for pound. Do you? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know, but it's strong as shit. I've seen bears fight each other. And I guarantee if like, if me and you, or you and Kyle, or me and Kyle were in a Roe Shambow and I did something where I tore off a wallet sized amount of flesh skin from Kyle's back, he's going to go, ah, ah, he's going to be spazzing out. Bears do that.

And they're like, I don't even, I'm in the fucking zone, dude. I don't care. I don't care. I'm going to eat salmon after this. And they, they, they forge ahead. And so I don't think we can get big enough to fight this. I think we're too intellectual. You just have to imagine, right? Like, cause I think your answer implies we're talking about real to imagine, right? Cause I think your answer implies we're talking about real life people, right? Let's admit there's no human who could beat a grizzly bear, boom. Sure.

But imaginary humans can. Someone's gotta be 130 feet tall in your imagination. I guess. You get to 130 feet, sure. Right. It's popping like a tic-tac-tin, that's a bear bite. A 15 foot tall human fighting a tic tac then. That's it. It's a bear bite. A 15 foot tall human fighting a 10 foot tall bear.

I'm taking the bear. Yeah, 100% every time you better have a team of humans with spears if you're going to fight a bear. Yeah, our jobs about an extraordinary human, right? The mountain stretched to 15 feet tall. It won't matter.

Punch him real hard. Yeah, because I don't want some dude so hard stretch to 15 feet. That's. That's not what I'm looking for. I saw a video of a truck hitting a bear at like full speed and the bear like rolls and slides down the asphalt. He gets up and he leaves. You know what I mean? It's like, you got to be so big to hit as hard as an F-150. In Ghana, it was just an escort. Yeah, bears aren't people.

I think we're bad at fights. Like in the world of animals, we're just woefully outmatched when it comes to tools we can use for fighting, unless we can use our ingenuity and have a spear. Some people underestimate the importance of a grip. Right? Like we see scratching and we get so intimidated, but grips are really good. That's true. But even in like the grip world, we suck pound for pound compared to every other great ape.

Like we were dog shit compared to chimps and gorillas and orangutans. Like we're just, we're nothing to write home about. 2700 times its body weight or something. They do this thing where they take the ants and they hold on to each other. They, you know, when you've got a group of them and when you go to pull two ants apart, they only use 400 times their body weight worth of strength because 410 times their body weight will rip another ant's leg off. They never rip each other's limbs off when you tear them apart, ever. They always let go and never like, but if you attach them to something else, they'll rip limbs off and do all sorts of crazy stuff. They'll hold

until they break. 2700 times their body weight. Ants are pretty sick. Thank goodness. If they were big, they just would like collapse under their like that. Remember Auntie from Honey I Shrunk the Kids? Yes. Dude, we've got some ants like that. The Ruskies are in trouble. Dude, I'd watch that as a kid. You come across the Rhine riding a giant fleet of war ants. That's it, bring your drones. Bring your drones. That's what Ukraine needs. I watched that as a kid and I was like, don't trust him. Like, he's gonna fucking eat you. That giant ant with his fucking guillotine jaws.

No, stay the hell away. Find a grasshopper as well. You know what my chat taught me about? Were you familiar with blueberry bears? No. Yeah. It turns out it's a real thing. Blueberry bear meat. People say that if you eat the bear,

when that's in season and that they're foraging for blueberries, they taste sweeter. As opposed to salmon season where they have a bit of a fishy taste to them. Makes sense. That does make sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What you does make sense. Yeah. Yeah. What you eat and such.

Yeah. Like they feed those, those fancy Iberian pigs, nothing but acorns, right? So they'll taste better. And then on a Hannibal Lecter was feeding Jillian Anderson like oysters and maybe acorns or something. He's like, and the guest is like, oh, interesting inner there. And she's like, my husband likes is like, oh, interesting inner there. And she's like, my husband likes me to taste a certain way.

And the guy thinks it means eating her pussy, but no, Hannibal's thinking about eating her. He's thinking about cooking her and eating her. Yeah, that's one of my favorite TV shows. That show where like Lawrence Fishburne or whoever, the detective Hannibal comes out with like the sharpest knife imaginable. He's like, today we are going to be eating goat kidney. A remembrance of that lady whose kidneys were

torn out. We're trying to find out who did it. Totally a mystery, but we'll get around. And then like Lawrence Fishburne's like, Hannibal, you've done it again, my friend. Fishburn's like, Hannibal, you've done it again, my friend. And Hannibal's like, yes, I could just kill you and eat you up, Mr. Fishburn. He's like, oh, Hannibal, we have so much fun together. We're such fast friends. I still think it's a great show. But it is a good show. It just gets ridiculous. And he goes to Italy and he's like assaulting priests. It's like, you're going to kill a cardinal. You've been here for four minutes. Everybody already knows you're like, God damn weirdo. Even as a woman at the time is like, Hey Hannibal, you know how we just moved here

three days ago and you're already like hitting up the local, hitting up Giuseppe's butcher shop for like liver and kidney from exotic animals. And he's like, yes, that's just part of my personality. It's like no one's buying it. And immediately some Italian detective who's supposed to be the genius Italian detective is just like, anyone else seeing this? This guy's a fucking weirdo. He's coming.

He's literally on the FBI's most wanted at that point in the books to Like it's hey, you know, you know that kidney eating motherfucker who escaped from fucking DC He's not that looks a lot like this kidney eating That is not the kind of Italian oh well, he said, you know, that was it. Is that how it sounded like? No. No, that was what he sounded like. Yeah. He goes, look, look, get a load of this guy. He comes into it and he's fucking eating all the other kidneys. Is he not the fucking kidneys out of the goddamn butcher shop?

I I've seen that show two or three times. It's one of the darkest. It's one of those shows that like they would show something and be like, fuck, you can get away with this on TV. Like where, where was this broadcast? Like some of it is extremely, he's just eating that other serial killer and the other serial killers. Like now if I weren't entirely a crazy person, I'd be upset by eating my own calf right now. Yeah.

And then he just like eats himself anyway. Dude, how rough would that be to be fed yourself? There's like many, like that's happened many times throughout history. I was just reading something about some guy whose lips were cut off, cooked and fed back to him. Um, I can't remember who I, I watch a lot, a lot of rough historical stuff, but like that's been a thing throughout history, like feeding people themselves as a torture or punishment. I wouldn't start with the lips. I wouldn't want

to have to watch them like chew with their mouth open and eat. So if anything, lips would be like towards the very end. Yeah. I know the cartel will like put your balls and your cock down your throat and stuff like that. Yeah. Those guys, they need to fucking chill out. I got nothing. I don't have a bad word to say about him. Sounds to me like those guys mean business. What about in private where you said, I dare about the Cali cartel or any cartel for that matter. Not around me. Not around me.

Cause I'm a fucking rat. That'll endear you to them. I'll spill my guts. Dude, I always say that. Like I see that in the movies. I'm watching the Marco Polo thing and they catch this fucking ninja. They're torturing him. They like give him like a joker smile. Like cut his cheeks to the corner of his mouth. He's like, if you scream, you will only rip yourself more. And I'm thinking like, dude, tell them, tell them who hired you. What are you doing? I'd have told them immediately as soon as they beat me up. Ah, fucking Woody hired me, you know? Yeah, he did. I mean, maybe tell a liar they can't find out.

After they find out. J D F F R E Y. I'm ratting everybody out. Every time I hear about our torture program, not even the scary country's torture program, like ours, we are the scary country. It's like, man, I'd have told them whatever they wanted to know about anybody, about y'all, my family, whatever. I'm not dealing with that. They would like rectally feed them forcibly and so much that their assholes all prolapsed out. What does rectally feed mean? They take a tube and they shove it all the way up

into their intestines and feed them that way with a ground up food that they just, not that. What, were they on a hunger strike That would have been the excuse that was given for the rectal feeding. Mm-hmm Well, they should just eat they They were eating they were raping them with met the largest medical tubes they could america doing that. Yeah, right Yes, you want me to believe trump is to principle their assholes all fell out They all had prolapsed me to believe the CIA FBI have been doing this for a century

Not a century like like Bush like and Obama mostly like like that's when things got got fucking wacky and weird No, it had to be wacky and weird way before that. I didn't hear about anybody's assholes falling out. Nixon never knocked an asshole out. Where's the smoke and rectal feeding tube? I don't see it. Okay. He showed me this before the internet.

So there's no records. Oh, there's so many records. They took fucking photographs back then and held on to them. I don't even know what number tap was i don't know my presidents all i'm saying is bush and obama turned that the fucking dogs loose and they did awful things to those people even though all the information they had said it wasn't working and it didn't work and different methods would have worked and just as well they did all these they think that we guys eyeball out like surgically took his eyeball out.

We had to take his eye out. It's a problem with that right here. Who did that? Who took his eye out to you? We did. No, which president? Not it would have been Obama or Bush. It was figured after that wedding thing,

it all kind of comes out in the wash. You know, it's totally fine. Yeah, Obama killed a lot of people. I wonder how his drone program compares to the others. It's got to be less intense just because of tech. Like tech gets so much better every time, right? No, Obama had plenty of... I think Obama was probably your biggest drone striker. He had those Predator drones then. He had those drones that... Whenever I heard... I didn't use... I used to think a Predator drone was like the size of, I don't know, the back of a pickup truck, I guess. I imagined them like that. But they're like an aircraft that holds multiple missiles that loiter's and we've had those for a long time and we've been using them for a long time.

I think Obama was like the, I think he killed thousands and thousands of people in that drone program. Well, he was the first guy to have access to drones. And so pretty excited. You're excited. You're stoked. You're telling me these can do what? Just would stand out on my balcony, smoke a menthol and kill some Iraqis.

How the fuck does Obama sound? That's pretty close. And the fact that they are able to watch the raids on live stream is one of the coolest privileges that I think that what Trump tripled Obama's drone strike rate. So like, like, I don't know. It's a headline. So it's true.

Oh, I feel good news brought to you. I was just trying to like drone strikes by president and I'm still looking for a good purpose. Good one. Yeah. Obama's got to be your winner. Yeah. There's no way we know the real drone strike counts. Mm hmm. I mean, I'm the stuff that we admit to doing like, like what are we doing that we're not admitting to?

Like they admit to like assassinating Iranian generals on third party soil. I'll be honest. This is the first time I've looked into it ever. Like, I mean, there was that time that I think a helicopter killed those journalists and stuff. And it that that was either Julian Assan leaked that or maybe it was the you know, the one leaker who was trans trans like Bradley Martin or something like that? Not even that person.

Yeah. Who leaked that. But there's like audio. I don't think you know who Bradley Martin is. No Bradley Martin is that jacked weightlifter guy. What's the one I'm thinking of? It's something similar. It sounds like.

Edward Snowden. No, not Edward Snowden. It was some other one. I know who Kyle's talking about. Chelsea Manning. Okay. Chelsea Manning. Okay.

Bradley Martin for your own fun. Just real quick. This is where you call it a gay spy or something. I asked him, that's the gay spy. What he's always saying. He's saying, I wish that gay spy Bradley Martin would step up to me I'd slap him That's what you guys are both always saying like I always look to this guy and goes I wish a motherfucker would No one's afraid of that guy. I take his hat right off his head me You think I'm afraid of that guy online? Like he did the last guy who took it off his head because he's you know embarrassed

Yeah, because you'll have a gun. Yeah I'll have one of those you'll have a har. Yeah I'll have one of those. You'll have a harpoon gun. You'll have one of those like air shark knives because that's all you can have. Marco Polo they just figured out how to make like these rudimentary hand cannons so they're holding a pipe with like a smoldering ember that they stick to it and shoot porcelain shrapnel at people. Maybe I get one of those. They're not to guns yet they're still using fire lances. That's what they're called. Yeah, yeah.

It's pretty cool. You get within four feet where stabbing might be better. And then you light it and you have a good time. Did you see Bradley Martin smack that guy? No, I did. He was the guy. Oh, that's what I was referencing. Like, so a guy came up to him in the gym

and like took his hat. Like, I can't remember who it was. It, that's what I was referencing. Like, like, so a guy came up to him in the gym and like took his hat. Like, I can't remember who it was. It was like a, it was, it was some streamer. Yeah. And he took his hat and he's like, give him a f*****g hat back, bro. And he's like, what, what, what? Pow! Smack the s**t out of him. Like I said, give me my f*****g hands. Are you serious, bro? I was like, yeah, f*****g serious. He slapped the s**t out of me. I was okay with it.

I saw the opposite one time. This guy was doing a thing where he walked like this and he like shoulder checked Bradley Martin and Bradley Martin just kind of laughed it off. And I was like, it vibed confidence to me. Like you didn't have to defend yourself. You know who doesn't have confidence? That's that Wes Watson guy.

So like I went down the Wes Watson rabbit hole a little bit. Have you gone down it? Not as deep as you, I don't think. I'm getting a fight at famous shirtless ex con, who's now like successful entrepreneur, online influencer, etc. Motivational speaker, blah, blah, blah. Got like beat the fucking shit out of a guy in a gym and like took it way too far assaulted him like kick soccer kicking him but

him and his buddies are theirs they don't really jump him but they kind of jump him they definitely make it so that west wins and uh and he's in a lot of legal trouble from that so i kind of went down the rabbit hole recently to see if anything was new and i guess like allegedly um he's like putting some like naked pictures and videos of his girl on there to like brag that he gets so much pussy and like like look at her big ass and like but you can see his dick in the reflection of his glass like stairway and he's got like a micro penis oh yeah you think that's why he's in jail because he was so mad about it and and so now the Internet's giving him a hard

time about his light switch and light switch, little light switch stick. And so he's got that on him. It's it's it's been a rough rough road a hoe for West Watson here for a minute. Poor old West Watson. He just wanted to commit crimes in peace. He beat the fuck out of that, too.

That was he did. And you can tell because some of the rough and rowdy guys in his crew, like 20 seconds in, were like, Yeah, we really gave him what for... We're still going, huh? Okay. Well, you almost lost your shoe with that kick. Careful now. Not a fan of this one. Yeah, there's definitely cameras in here. I had never seen anybody use a weight belt like a ninja weapon He he popped in with that weight belt three fucking times in the face in the initial initial salvo that little fight Fucked him up. It's hard to find his micro penis online lots of videos about it, but not the actual penis

Yeah, I'll hear that. Yeah, it is here say I certainly wouldn't say any of those things What he's the one that told me about it when he was trashing the cartel yesterday Two people I hate and disrespect the most and went on this whole thing. Yeah What did I am scared the cartel? You said you called him a punk a Punk nobody's afraid of Wes Watson dude. Like what's he gonna do send himself back to prison? He's gonna beat you to death in a gym with a fucking dip belt I will stay in my home gym to guess what he's got excellent Lateral movement because there's no penis getting in the way

Of his side. So it must be so much better since he doesn't have a penis waving around Um taylor, do you know the name bj pin? Yes, I know he was like, when my friend who was into UFC first in like 2007 was trying to get us into it, that was one of the names he brought up as like a dude he liked a lot. Everybody likes BJ.

I know he's struggling. I'm a huge fan. He's got CTE, right? Pretty bad. He has CTE so bad right now. And he's also been a lifelong drinker and it seemed to have gotten much worse In the last few years since his retirement He ended his career maybe oh and seven or oh and six something like that

It was bad and some of them were pretty rough, too It was it was hard to watch and now he lives in Hawaii. He is a like native Hawaiian I believe it's Hawaiian and he's been putting this stuff on social media and it you know how the internet is. It's some it's hard to tell when somebody's kidding sometimes and I did not understand what I was looking at at first because he's showing he's like look he's showing a woman from behind he's in a house and there's an older lady maybe 60 70 and jeans like washing dishes. And he's like, look at this lady. This lady says she's my mother. Look at that ass.

Look at those thighs. This is not my mother. This is, and he gives some name. And he says, this woman is, they have kidnapped my mother and disappeared her. And this is like a person posing as my mother trying to get my money. And I was like, well, at first I genuinely believed him a

little I was because it's such a crazy thing to say you know and he's filming her and and the way he's filming her and she's ignoring the camera makes me think she's guilty and why isn't she turning around going honey baby it's your mama why is she doing that that is weird to me still but she's not because she's heard it so many times she just dis disengages. Maybe, maybe. I'm starting to believe that now because now he's saying that his brother, I think, is also a pod person now. He's starting to think another person in his life has been replaced by like, and so that is schizophrenia to me. Dude has the worst luck.

That's really sad. What I mean is that's really sad. Can you imagine not only having one person in your life replaced? But two yeah, why are they why are they targeting BJ pin? All I can imagine is the pod people want access to its advanced combat proficient genetics I bet he sees a lot of red cars the first signal that rings their planet was actually him fighting George St. Pierre and they that reached their planet was actually him fighting George St. Pierre. And they saw how greased up GSP was. And they all thought that BJ was the winner of that bout. And so they've come for its champion. And as far as they know, a little time discrepancy, they live in a black hole.

They live in a black hole. We don't though. They do. Not us though. Not us though. Let's see. They came out, they left their black hole and came to ours. Well poor BJ Penn. It's really upsetting because like how long before he goes on a full break and like tries to hurt the pod people, you know? Yeah, I would be if someone thought I was a replacement, it would be worse if they were a professional fighter.

Infinitely worse. So much worse. I would rather think of, I can't think of anything worse than that. No, I would, I'd be doing whatever I could. It would be worse if the person was a bear. If a bear thought I had replaced his family with five people out, that would be worse. But, but yeah. But I'm actually in a suit.

I did. Like That's a story that's going to end badly and nobody seems to be intervening. And you would think somebody from the MMA community, like maybe somebody at the UFC or some of his old friends or some of his old training partners or coaches, George St. Pierre, like somebody would be trying to go like, Hey, brother, do you trust me? Because that is your mom. Like, like somebody would be trying to get there and do that.

You're in like, if you're in that headspace, you'd immediately be like, Oh no, they got you to fucking the Chandler, whatever his name is, the guy who's popular for shit talk. Oh, he, he's in on it too. Yeah. Or who's, who's the guy that, you know, Sun and you might just Sun sun is in on it too. This is bigger than I could have imagined. And then you're like in a new, cause that's probably why you got you too. Huh? Yeah. They got you too. Oh my God. They got Joe Rogan. He's they're telling Joe's making fun of me on this podcast. Or Joe probably wouldn't do that on this podcast. It wouldn't be like, Hey, no, it's not funny anymore. It's like, no, of course it's not. It's fucked sad. Poor guy.

Cause I think he's I mean, look at look, that's a story that is important. Number one, just let's make sure they're actually his family. That was my first thought. Cause I can't imagine a funnier outcome than he's like, it's like a Chinese spy in a woman's wig. DJ, you go crazy. I'm your mom. No, you go crazy. I'm your mom. No, you're not. It might be that situation like that guy who said they were Jews

tunneling under his apartment and everybody thought he was crazy until we started digging them up. Where was the follow up on that? I mean, what were they up to down there? Imagine you're a cop and, oh, well, we found out what they were doing. It was some shortcut to get around their silly laws to get into their place of worship. Yeah, but why don't they have those bloody mattresses? I don't believe there were any bloody mattresses. That's one of those things. It's like what about the bloody mattresses? I'm like did you test the

blood? Did you see dirty? I don't even know what we're talking about. I don't think there were any bloody mattresses. I'm not a I'm not trying to defend Israel here But I know I know It looked like they made I saw the picture of some like Some like Guinea cop being like get a load of fucking this It's a disgusting. Something covered mattress. It's like, what the fuck? It looked like junk and trash that had been thrown down there or something. What I thought it was or what I heard it was, and it kind of made sense the way that they'll do

that thing where they like tie a string from their house to their deli or whatever, like holding onto the string doesn't mean we're outside or some shit, or getting somebody else to flip our light switches or whatever. I thought it was on the same lines of that. Or maybe, or also think there was maybe a COVID thing where they couldn't go to their place of worship because of COVID and they were like, fuck all that. Well, take a tunnel. We've done it before. They think we won't do it. We will. That's Jewish Trump. Everyone's talking about it, but I think I can do it.

I'm going to build the tunnel. Ask anyone. It's going to be the biggest of tunnels as long as well. Not the biggest where price allows. So we will make a big tunnel. Building Israel to a hotel, casino, vacation, tourist destination. Is that story just gone? The Rio of the Middle East.

Yeah, I can't say that. I have no idea. Well, you got to get the Palestinians out now. They're back to war again. You know, I always thought that was he even said he's like, hey, I was just throwing shit out there. You know, some people seem to like the idea. I don't know. People don't like it when I riff.

I like to riff. I'm not going to stop riffing. Coming up with good ideas on the fly. Yeah. That is crazy though, to be like, uh, I saw a clip from Sam Hyde where he was like talking and like laughing and he's like, Oh man, I'm not to be like SJW, but you know, having half my taxes go to pay for, you know, ethnic cleansing, I don't know if I'm cool with it. So yeah, this is fucking ridiculous.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we signed up for though. That's what you signed up for though That's what you signed up for You're the one that voted. I don't get to I voted for you ride mailed in a vote for you I'm in the back. Oh, thanks. I appreciate that every year every year midterms coming up every year You gotta let them know in between that you're thinking about them Joe Lisa Montgomery is getting her vote in every time in between that you're thinking about them. Joe Lisa Montgomery is getting her vote in every time. Mm-hmm, yep, Joe Lisa Montgomery. And I put a sticker on it with a winky face

so they know if we get caught, I can say I was kidding. Yeah. Yeah. Just jokes. I took a selfie of me like fake vote, but my fingers were crossed when I did it, so they were. Again? Yeah.

They're gonna prosecute. That's true. That's C law. That's the law of the, The maritime law. That's true. That's a, that's C law. That's the law of the, of the ad, that's the admiral's law, the maritime law. You can't get in trouble for voting twice. No, I see people all the time. He were getting caught for like voting fraud from last cycle. It's mostly Republicans, mostly Republicans.

I will say, um say like voting twice or voting Also way more than twice or what the voting twice or three? It's certainly not some big thing It's just some goofball who who's like I'm gonna make I'm gonna make the damage pay Yeah, I never know how much to believe when I hear people talk anymore. So it's hard to even follow current events that that Crockett lady the the black lady representative, she's got this list of things that Trump's doing. And if 10% of it is true, I'm worried. But I don't know if 10% of it is true. Because I'll hear, I wish they'd shoot straight. Because just be the party of shooting it's shooting shit straight right now. Because then your foil is right across the way and they are not shooting shit straight.

Like just be honest, Bernie had some cooked stats the other day he was reading and he was phrasing it a certain way. Instead of talking about what the numbers were, he was talking about like the rate at which the numbers were growing and he kept conflating the two and that allowed him to be very persuasive in his argument. It was the the trend was such but that wasn't the case, you know I mean, he was okay citing a trend as if it were the case is he's like things are going this way But they aren't that way yet, you know It's still the other way and and he was being dishonest in that way and it's like come on, dude Like you're supposed to be the guy that shoots straight

Like like don't lie like like take the high road every time and you'll win. I feel like they can this time around, next time around. Like you take the high road and win. I'm not sure it wins. I feel like lying wins. It is hard to beat someone who doesn't play with any rules. I don't know what wins. I don't know what wins. I don't know what wins.

The Democrats have been flagellating themselves. I pronounced that right. That's it. Just ever since the loss, they've just been blaming, everything that they might've done wrong, everything they should've done better, as if any one of those things was it. Shit, I don't see any of that.

I see it's a lot of blame game It's it's not like ah, we did we should have done this. It's like they did this and that and say hey Maybe you had a little to blame like like they won Maybe 55% they won but 45% you lost, you know, like you you can you didn't score enough runs You know, I feel like the Democrat Hutch said something to me that burned into my head. I popped in his live stream. I think it was this week, whatever. And he's like, Democrats build sort of credibility

by disagreeing with Democrats and Republicans build credibility by getting in line. And I'm like, I don't know, somehow that just seems so true to me. And every time I watch the news, the Democrats are ripping on Democrats and the Republicans are mostly getting in line talking about the brilliance.

I watch Fox Business a lot lately and they're misinforming people. And I'm like, wow, somehow I thought Fox Business would shoot it straighter than Fox News did. Because for the first time in 30 years. They turned the ticker off. For the first time in 30 years, they turned the ticker off on the worst day. What are we doing, boys? Isn't even news anymore. This is a propaganda channel.

You turn in your ticket. They covered trans stories on the worst stock market crash day that we've had in like decades. I agree. And it's like that's you're misinforming your audience, but people like it. It agree. And it's like, that's you're misinforming your audience, but people like it. It's the most popular news network. And that's not even the move that I would want that I would want. I would want to like, you know, they,

well, they don't have their move. And neither does Trump. I feel like they're playing by the seat of their pants and there is no grand plan. But if Fox News could come out and say, yeah, of course, the stock market is this say yeah, of course the stock market is this But look at what Chinese stock market is look at Asian stock market. Give it a week guys. Let him cook He tweeted that by the way Or let him cook the White House like like like Twitter's tweeted let him cook with this like mugshot ish Presidential portrait that went with it

mugshot ish Presidential portrait that went with it Look it feels like it's been years already What's it really five days or something? I said this last week hasn't even been that long Three months it feels like there's so much happening every day and like big crazy things and the news can't keep up it The news looks terrible both both sides all the news Coverage is bad right now. It's not good. They're not informing the public They're they're both trying to propagandize the input the public to their to their side And it's like man if one of you was just telling nothing but truth whether you looked good bad or ugly

I'm probably leaning toward watching that side Maybe that's not everybody. I know there's a lot of old sycophants who want to hear things are going well and we're getting the tranny's. Like don't worry about the economy. We're getting the tranny's or we're getting the illegals and we're with Trento Aragua and El Salvador and enemies of the state treason. Treason. Like some people want to hear. And I'm not against all of it. I certainly like rounding them up and sending them to where they came from.

It's a big deal to me that three of those people appear to be completely innocent. That's okay. They're not completely, they're illegals. I actually, I'm not sure they're all, all three of those are illegals, but I'm not confident enough to say they are. It's fucking foggy and the government isn't doing a good job

of elucidating it and they should the fact that it is Foggy worries me because why is nobody from the other side coming by and going like here's his fucking mugshot He did usually what they do is like, oh you feel sorry for the guy we got today Here's what he did. It's a little eight-year-old Esseqa little yes, I got yes Okay Yes, I got come out here Yes, Iica and yesica comes out with a fucking limp and a fucking one eye because this guy's a brand new like snake to 90 of them had no criminal records right now doesn't mean they've never committed a crime if if they're head to toe obviously in a gang member and that's their like sense of identity and sense of self-worth or something. I'm still flexible on this. But if a gay barber gets rounded up along the way

of gay hairstylist, it gets thrown in an El Salvador Supermax prison who had nothing to do with this. Did they use autism awareness tattoos? No, they haven't gotten them out. The judge has ordered it and Trump has defied the order openly, it's not a can't do, it's a fuck you. And that makes it worse.

No, the Supreme Court. When they use the autism awareness tattoo as proof that this guy was a gang member, as if that's a gang tat. Good golly. Like, like you're not shooting straight. Does does your opinion change? Like, for me, they're as far as I can tell, they're illegals. Like there would be a million people out there saying, here's the evidence he's a citizen, but they're not because he's not a citizen. Like I really don't-

There's more than one category. It's not citizen or not citizen. Sometimes they like had applied for asylum, which makes them here legally. Sometimes they're green card or whatever. Like they're not, I don't think they're all illegals. They're just not citizens. I'm not, I don't think they're all illegals. They're just not citizens. I'm not, I haven't done my due diligence. If they are

illegals, then I don't give a shit. Like I really, I really don't care. Like if it deters more people from breaking into our country, which is just saying murdered in El Salvador prison, then they probably shouldn't have broken into a country that doesn't allow them here. Like, and they're not going to be murdered in the El Salvador prison. Then they probably shouldn't have broke into a country that doesn't allow them here. Like, and they're not gonna be murdered in the El Salvador prison. Jesus, Judge Dredd, what next?

You like, what's wrong with like deporting illegals? Why do we even bother sending them there when we could have blown their brains out on the street for all to see? An El Salvador supermax prison does not seem like a just punishment for, you know, being an illegal immigrant. I'll put it the full way. Yeah. And illegal alien. Is that the meanest thing? Legal alien.

I'll sell it or super max prison. Isn't what I want to do with that. It's not what I want to do. I would rather just send them back normal, I guess, like send them to Honduras or wherever the fuck. But at some point we do have to get real with it and be like Yeah, stop invading our country. It's ridiculous What does what does real with it mean? Does it mean we execute them for for coming here illegally? Because I don't think I like that. No, I don't think that's reasonable. I think that I don't think sending them back isn't reasonable

I think sending them back is very reasonable to the place from which if all you've done is come here, that was your crime. That's crime. You should be sent back. But we shouldn't send you to hell, because that's what we're doing. Yeah, I guess that's fair. Yeah, I just, my sympathy is out for like the whole like illegal thing where it's like, oh, this person, this person could be totally innocent and we just sent him there. It's like, well, they're not the framing of it's always dishonest where they're like, he's just a gay hairdresser who broke into our country and lives here legally and could be involved in gang crime, could be involved in drug crime.

Like we don't want to know for sure before I send him to hell, though. Like I think that's fair too. Yeah. I just want to know for sure. And if there's any doubt, we shouldn't I want to know for sure before I send him to hell though. Like I think that's fair, too Yeah, I just want to know for sure and if there's any doubt we shouldn't send him to hell and look anybody who hasn't looked Into that prison that is not where it they are not they don't know what all those people have done All those people haven't been given a trial they've been put in there and they're going to be kept there for the rest of their lives That's what that is. Like there's no plan to release any of those people. They're keeping them there like cattle forever. To tie into what Kyle's saying, cruelty is the point, right?

The point is to scare anyone else who might think about entering the country. That's why when there's all these stories about separating mothers from their children, the Trump administration, whatever, eight years ago, was like, this is fucking dope, I love it. Yeah, keep running more stories about separating moms from children.

We're trying to scare the next mom from coming in here. I would separate them too. Yeah, I mean, you have to separate. I don't think cruelty is a personality trait that I value in a president. I think that at the point we're at with tens of millions of illegals, like there needs to be an understanding

of like, yeah, things might go bad for you if you break into our country and start living here. The implication. We took, we put them out on a boat with Dennis Reynolds. We could have like faked an implication though. Like we could have, we could have faked that. No one has. No one's been taken it serious for decades. Well, they're taking it serious now. Even Trump now. Trump's deportation numbers are fucking ridiculous. Australians and UK citizens are afraid to come here. They have travel advisories because every now and then we're grabbing some tourists and throwing them in a federal prison for

two weeks. Really? We're arresting random Australians? Yeah. An MMA coach that was coming here for the last event. It was over two weeks they held him in a federal detention facility because his paperwork didn't clarify whether he was earning any money as a coach here for the UFC event. So they held him for over two weeks. He got in a fight. They were trying to take his betting from him while he was in our facility. They ended up, of course, apologizing to them for their mistake and sending him back home

But that's happened over and over to like any number of people not from fucking Pakistan I hear you from if I hear you from Pakistan, they gave you a heart. I'm like, well Are we sure he's good now? Keeping us warm. We're roughing up some fucking Australian MMA coach, I'm like, what are we doing, boys? Like, this guy didn't have any, I don't know, I look bad. Yeah, this is the article. I see exactly what Woody's saying. Needless cruelty is not necessary.

You don't want to be needlessly cruel, but we do need to get rid of these people who break into our country. I agree. Process is important, right? We can't just guess we can't using an autism awareness tattoo as proof of that you're a member of Ella Raghwa. I don't know how close I came on. Can you say it again for me? Trendy Aragwa.

Trendy Aragwa. That's close. I'll try to keep that. Okay. An autism awareness tattoo is not proof that you're in Trendy Aragwa. And what they're doing is reckless and cruel and intentional. They want people to be scared. And being cruel to scare people isn't something that I think makes a good leader.

30% of ISIS is Hispanic. Do you know that? No, I wouldn't have guessed that. 30% of ISIS is Hispanic. Yeah. No, I, I, Oh, I thought you said ISIS for a second. I did. What did you say? Well, I used to like immigration.

Hispanic. Cut. Damn. I am. I can't believe you bought that. I'm sorry. Oh, it makes perfect sense that ice would have a lot of native speakers. That makes sense.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like 30% of it are Hispanic. That's yeah. Yeah, there's a scene in Charlie Wilson's war where the Rough CIA agent, you know sort of rough around the edges CIA agent yells at his manager And he's like you got rid of every fucking native speaking Pakistan in the CIA How smart is that that that do the people speak the language of the country that we're investigating in. And I was like, you know, they're first generation Americans. They're citizens like you and I.

And I was like, oh damn, this guy makes a point. Now you're gonna have fucking some Swedish looking dude investigating Pakistan who learned the language academically. First generation American is a much more patriotic person than the average fellow like me who's been here so long that you can't even track it. I could see that. I would rather see them send the autism tattoo guy just back to wherever.

It would be so funny if like a year from now they're like autism tattoo man most devious in Trendy, Iraq. autism tattoo man most devious in trend a rock but like yeah you I would rather there should it there should be a sense of fear in regard to breaking into a country if I break into Singapore I have no illusions that they will treat me well I'm going to be getting caned and they're going to be making fun of me for being overweight and they're going to be doing all sorts of things. Like that is what a country does. Like you can't just break in. That's ridiculous. But I see the point you're making here that this guy doesn't seem just from this article written by someone who is an immigration activist to be like a Trendy Aragua or whatever. That we use due process before we throw people for life into an El Salvador

supermax prison seems like an obviously good idea. It really does. Look, where I am on this is like I would be I wouldn't mind so much if we accidentally sent someone accidentally to Honduras who shouldn't have been sent there and they're like sitting there at a bus stop in Honduras like, what the fuck was that all about? Dinner. Why didn't they send me back to Ottawa? with a stick and buck. He's got a senator's stock cap. Yeah, see, if that happened, it would almost be comical. But but this would be a good story.

They have a concentration camp in El Salvador. And the idea of it is sound for El Salvadorians, because their country was being taken from them at gunpoint and knife point. And they took it back and it's, and now they have incredibly low crime rate. And when you look at that sea of human flesh that they have chained together in that place, it's hard to find the guy that's a hairdresser. They're all tatted head to toe, like demon fucking horn, literally devil horn is the most popular task.

I saw the demon horns guy and it's like, if I were like a hardcore criminal, I wouldn't be like, yeah, and put like go put like fucking devil horns on my with a 666 on the back of my neck in the room. You're not committed to the lifestyle like I am Taylor. Yeah, there's hardcore under here. Demon horse. What I see the bottoms of it. And that's their country'm like, I'm fine with it. And that's their country as well.

Those are El Salvadorians. I'm not an El Salvadorian. They can do with their people what they will, especially their criminals. And, and, and like, you know, I want no part of that, but us sending people there, I don't like that at all. And Trump has talked about sending American citizens there. Like, like, not, not. Not in a flippant way either. They've asked him about like, oh yeah, the president said he'd take Americans

too. I love it. I love it. And it's like, you do? Yeah, I don't like that. Citizens should be treated differently than illegals. Our prison system is fucked here, but you are at least filed away and they know where you are and they know about your well-being. And there is a chain of paperwork that you can file to get help, to get medical assistance. There's all sorts of advocacy initiatives. You have legal representation every step of the way. That's a criminal justice system

What they're talking about is throwing away the key for realsies like like they don't know who all they have They don't know their real names part of that's because they're a vast criminal organization of thugs But part of it is because they didn't really care, you know, they're not letting those people go those people aren't serving XYZ sentences They're being held forever. They're never letting those people go and Those people aren't serving XYZ sentences. They're being held forever. They're never letting those people go. And that to me is wild. That anyone from here would be sent there into something like that. You tell me they got a big jail down there that's efficient. Great, we can send our people there. But you tell me they have a gulag from which there is no return?

Don't send our people there. I mean, the second he sends them, no matter what they do, like don't send our child molesters there., this the second he said, no matter what they do, like don't send our child. Like if he sends an actual American citizen there, that would be fucking outrageous. No American citizen should be sitting there no matter what they've done. I don't care. This is how it's done. They're right. It's done in baby steps. Right. First, it's them. Then it's them.

And then it's us, you know, step by step. I remember I was watching this Russian woman talk about how they lost their free press. And the first thing they lost was MTV. And people were like, ah, okay. So it's not state run, but there's plenty of other not state run organizations.

And that MTV one's kind of American, so it can go. And then like just sort of let like closer and closer to Russia, they got removed. You know, first it's MTV, then it's some British thing, then it's some Polish thing. And then it's the Russian things until now there is only state run media. Yeah. They keep it in. That's a realistic fear.

First, it's an illegal immigrant going down El El Salvador supermax, and then it's a legal immigrant, and then it's some guy with a green card getting deported because he said something against the administration, and then it just keeps working its way into, well, this guy's legal. This guy actually had freedom of speech, but you decided to fuck his freedom of speech because he's not a citizen or you just don't like what he said until it gets to citizens. They're investigating getting that guy who said that the 2020 election was the most fair and safe election, secure election we'd ever had. I believe that is his crime.

And now an executive order was signed in front of the press to go clipped it, to go to go investigate him. Apparently I'm an addict. That's a that's a deportable offense. Made a lucky guess he can't hear it. They don't have any person El Salvador. No, they might. I have been doing it like a third of the time. I'll increase that success rate. They'd be like Flintstone style.

They'd have one prisoner who cheesed nails for food. He's like, you just put them in his mouth. Do you rub them on the cup? That's what I loved about the Flintstones. They had a dinosaur for everything. I always wanted to see that one. They had that bird that you shit in. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a family guy bit actually. He's like, oh. You think your job sucks. It's like a big pelican with the tempeh that he's dancing. The one bird's like a fucking pencil sharpener and he's mad as hell. Yeah.

Anyway. Yeah. And they seem to be doing it by the seat of their pants. Everything. Incompetence to me is the hallmark of the Trump presidency. I remember Kyle even saying like, like I'm really excited about the Trump presidency. I am worried that perhaps he's not good

at running a large organization, but let's see where this goes because, you know, I'm excited about where his heart is or whatever. And, but now that like incompetence thing, whether it be Trump or Hgseth or you know, all the way down the line, he's not hiring the best people. And he himself is just kind of a knee jerk reactionary

making it up as he goes along. It's funny that like we have different, like you see incompetence from the other direction that I do where like, I see his like mealy mouthed deportation efforts as incompetence where like he made a promise of we're going to deport millions of illegals because we have tens of millions of them here and getting rid of them would make housing better. It would make commodity. It would help a lot. And he does this like huge song and dance

of working to put the numbers up every day so you can see it. And then they start posting the numbers and it's like 548 people were deported today. And it's like, oh, okay, let's pro-rate this across four years. Oh, so he doesn't even get rid of half the illegals the Biden administration let in. This is incompetence, almost deliberately so. Like, get your shit together and start deporting illegals. Like, start doing it for real in big numbers. Stop the nonsense. Yeah, this is, I think they're trying as hard as they can because I don't know why they would do anything else. And I see so many videos of people getting harassed that like, and like, have, you know, hiding from ICE and stuff.

And I don't know. I think they're trying as hard as they can. Then they're failing. Then they're incompetent. That's not a counter argument for competence. Yeah, get it done. We know there's millions. Well, like, we have this, you have this bar of like,

how many do you want per day? What would be like, oh, we're cooking now. What would be the amount? For the record it per day what would be like oh we're cooking now what would the record 500 a day would be well see don't do that you can't reverse engineer it you can't say well the number that i think it should be is whatever number it would take to do 10 million divided by four years oh i'm sorry why couldn't i do it that way because that's not how you would expect anything you want the job let's say there's 20 million if it's a construction site look look if it's what is 20 million by next week you say you want the job. Let's say there's 20 million. If it's a construction site, look, look, if it's what is 20 million, you don't say I need a house built by next week. You say you want the house built well. It should be five figures daily. If they're giving a five figures daily,

10,000 people a day, call it, call it 15. Cause I don't know how the math works out. Yeah. I don't know how that would work either. I mean, how many ICE agents there are, are there, you know? That'd be about 22 million. Okay. Well then if we say there's 20 million illegals in the country or whatever the number they say, well, I'm just, I'm just trying to do like the reverse math, which you said was against the rules, a little hypothetical, which is not a fair way to frame it. How many I reported a day, but you can't do math or reason to it. No, no, no.

You went over 10,000 a day. That you can't do math or reason to it. No, no, no. If you went over 10,000 a day, that would be your goal. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, what if 50 million had come in and said, then it would be whatever amount you would just multiply the number of those. That's not fair because we have a finite amount of agents and time. So you can't just say, whatever it takes is what I expect.

Well, I mean, I think it is fair to say whatever it takes is how much I expect. Do you think the Trump administration is being light handed right now about deporting illegals? Do you think that they're like, oh, leave them alone? No, I think they don't have a list of illegals they're ignoring. I think they're trying to have their cake and eat it too, where they do this tongue and dance about how like hard they're working with it. And then they post, you know, 601 people were deported today. And it's like, okay, well, they're doing the best they can. And that it's a harder job than it would seem. I don't know how you find them. I don't know what lists they have to work with.

But it seems like they're going door to door looking for people that and, you know, doing the best they can. and i'm just thinking like it's in their best interest to get as many as they can they want to get them it's their whole thing they love it that tom homon guy he's frothing at the mouth to send another one back home so i can't imagine him being like oh no tom homon that's the guy with fucking tower of london executioner physiognomy. Yeah, I think they do the best they can. And I think that they they're they're they're serious about it. I think the problem may just be more nuanced than it seems. And look, maybe next year the numbers go up. Maybe they don't.

I think they're getting rid of a lot of people that need to go, though. My fear, again, is that some of the people we're getting rid of are being sent to an El Salvadorian hell. Like, look, I think those Trendy Aragwa members who like, you know, clearly have those crazy rap sheets, that's what that prison's built for. That's what that prison's built for. The ones with devil tattoos immediately get in there. But I don't want anybody accidentally falling through the cracks on that thing. Certainly not one of us. And by us, I mean anybody who's a fucking American citizen. I don't care if you're a piece of shit.

If an American citizen and got sent out, even a Dodgers fan, Kyle, there would immediately there would immediately be a million stories about how this person hears the evidence. They're an American citizen. Like it wouldn't. It would be immediate. I hope so. I hope so, because I bet what'll happen is the, is they'd be like, oh, but he's one of the bad ones. Don't you know that he did this, that and the other?

And I don't know. I don't know. I told the Russian press story. Like it would be like, like, like how I said, oh yeah. But look at this guy's rap sheet. I forget what we were talking about earlier in the show when Kyle's like, this is your guy. This is your guy that you want to stand up for. He's the

flagship of your cause. Bad wording, but whatever. And that guy is a, who is the guy I think for Ferguson, Michael Brown, who had just strong arm robbed some. I was like, guys, like, I understand your desire to rally and make things better for yourself. Perhaps you feel like police are treating you unfairly as an instinct every day. Like I hear you, but don't rally around this guy. This guy's awful. There's like security camera footage of him brutalizing

some guy 15 minutes before this incident, right? Like, like. It's like he just tried to take a cop's gun, which I think is freedom of speech. Right. Like Eddie did. You should be able to try the holster. Ah.

I wish there were body cams for that part. Maybe it would have prevented all the violence and property destruction and who knows what, I don't know. It wouldn't have. But I love body cams But I love body cams. I love body cams. They tell the truth, regardless of what the truth is, they tell the truth.

But anyway, yeah, they need to rally around the right guy. And if that citizen is a bad guy that they send to an El Salvador prison, I think three quarters of America is gonna be like, all right, I didn't think I liked citizens, but I'm really happy this guy's gone. If you're a serial killer and you're a citizen, you should be in an American prison.

Yeah, I like what you're saying. You should not- I thought you were gonna do exactly what I said people would do, but you didn't. No, we keep it wrong. No, you should be in an American prison if you're an American criminal. If you're a foreign criminal,

then if you break into our country and you're from Venezuela You belong in a Venezuelan prison Send them back on a plane and then the Venezuelan fucking authorities lock you up for breaking a law They do kind of go on a case-by-case basis with that and I feel like they do it the right way because sometimes people commit A crime here and we want to make sure they pay for it And if you send them home, they might not So and those instances we need to handle them here, but there are certainly some situations where and this is what they're doing There are people here who came over illegally. That's the American law they broke, but what you know They got a Mexican rap sheet a mile long that includes

You know murder or kidnapping hijacking shit like that They also get sent back to their home country to do real prisons. And yeah, why would we keep that guy? You know, so I like there being some nuance there and then on the other end if it's some like fucking Venezuelan drug monster That that Venezuela won't even take and we know if we send him back. He'll be here next week He has the resources to do so he's plugged into a like whole criminal organization and he gets into El Salvador. I Would think that we would have the power to like lean on Venezuela to be like hey this plane load

We're sending back our violent criminals and they're all Venezuelan citizens. So take care of your shit We don't we how do we not have the ability to lean on them? well, it started when Hugo Chavez went before the UN in like 2002 and he said, Ah, I smell the sulfur. Satan was just here. George Bush had just spoken. And then he went on this whole anti-Bush thing. And then he joined up with, is it OPEC? Did he say that?

Yes. Is it OPEC? The oil cartel? That's pretty good. Yeah,, that's the it's typically the Middle East one. I didn't know that he was part of it. I think he's working with them going to do some I think they were working on fixing the price of oil and they were he was talking about changing the currency that's used for the oil exchanges to a different currency. And what you know, the next thing You know, he got like he got kill you real fast cancer and he died and then we destroyed their economy and they had hyperinflation So now they have like trillion dollar bills there their entire economy they hated or we hated that they tried to nationalize their oil supply They did nationalize it. They did. And we said,

nah. Yeah, that's why we don't have no pressure to exert on Venezuela because we already exerted it all and they hate us. Venezuela joined OPEC in 1960. I had no idea. Venezuela has larger oil reserves than any other country on earth. They keep saying that. I think we got the most. larger oil reserves than any other country on earth. They keep saying that. I think we got the most. Oh, Wikipedia says that too. I didn't know. Yeah. I don't believe any of that. I don't believe any of that about where oil is. All right, Taylor, what's number two? Look, there's tons of them. I'm going to say number two is. Antarctica. No, that's not a nation. Saudi Arabia. The UNASPRA nations, yes. Yes. Oh, Kyle, we're doing OPEC nations, by the way. Oh, well then that's a completely different thing.

Number three, I'm gonna say Qatar. Saudi Arabia. Wait, hold on, no, I said Saudi Arabia for two. Number three, it would be, it wouldn't be Iran. Qatar is strangely not OPEC. It wouldn't be. Kuwait. KuwaitPEC. It wouldn't be Kuwait. Kuwait is in there. I'll just tell you, Iran is the next one.

Then Iraq, then Kuwait. Oh wait, I made a mistake. Then Iraq, then United Arab Emirates, then Kuwait. Cool. Yeah, that's why we don't have any pressure to exert on Venezuela because they hate us because we've ruined their country. We've contributed to it greatly. And I'm sure we did some of that crazy CIA shit too.

Yeah. But Kyle, give us a break. That's one South American country that we've fucked with. Yeah. Kyle, think about it. Just one. We did Honduras a few years back. I think it was 2000.

Yeah. Probably probably sent him balloons. I don't know. back. I think it was 2000 probably probably sent him balloons. This might surprise you. I don't know. Nothing like toppling a democratically elected government. No, we don't do that constantly all the time for decades. That's ridiculous. And the fact you'd say it makes me think you might need a little trip to an El Salvadorian prison. You know what? We've never toppled an elected government and installed a puppet dictatorship. Have you guys seen that TikTok trend or the viral where he's like, nobody should,

nobody should. I mean, you shouldn't. I'm saying you shouldn't do this. No one should. No. But no. Oh, is it like passively insinuating like, violence or something? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And he basically says no one should again and again and again And every once in a while there's punctuated with this But no, no, no, I'm saying it clearly. I mean no like that kind of thing and

okay, it's interesting then to me because everyone knows what he's thinking and to me because everyone knows what he's thinking. And basically he says nobody should again and again and again. So hilarious bit that Trevor Moore did, God rest his soul, 16 years ago, I linked it there. It's called, it's illegal to say dot dot dot. And he spends two minutes saying, it's completely illegal to say, I wanna,

and he keeps saying the thing that I won't even say now. Right. It's like the salute. And if you think that's bad, huh? Never say that you want to get 14 tons of ammonium nitrate. This whole fucking thing. It's a, it's awful edgy. I'm sure he got contacted by the secret service. That's why they killed him. All right. That is it took them a while. It took them a while. They were slow on the draw. You know, a lot of bureaucratic paperwork.

They were busy deporting illegals. Yeah. Well, you guys want to call it a show? That was fun. Yeah, I suppose. I'm hungry. Check out our sponsors in the description. PKA 747.