Painkiller Already - PKA 755: Elon Vs Trump

Episode Date: June 7, 2025

Pka 755 just the boys this week. Taylor, this episode of Pka is brought to you by lock and load and our merch. Talk more about them later. Maybe the funniest day ever on Twitter today, boys. There's a little bit of a I don't know if you guys are under a rock, but Trump and Elon are having a bit of a tiff online. They're pretty pissed. Kyle, do you wanna lay out the timeline?

I can only do my best, which I'm not sure is so great. Oh man, it's crazy if you account for everything, because there's also, like not only have Elon and Trump seemingly broken up, but there's all the shit with Stephen Miller and his wife and Elon and then another cabinet member like a cabinet member beat up Elon Musk. That's what happened. Like somebody popped Elon Musk in the eye. And I think it's a different scenario than the fact that Elon Musk has been getting real friendly with Stephen Miller's wife. And suddenly she's quitting her job in the

White House and taking a like CEO position in one of must companies. CEO some sort of upper management board member type shit. Yeah. She's not on the factory line cranking out Teslas or anything. I figured she wasn't doing the wiring. He doesn't do anything in the White House. She's collecting her check. But, but my point is that there's all sorts of like cracks in the foundation of the Musk, uh, uh, Trump, uh, foundation, because I also saw Trump going on this whole little ditty in the foundation of the Musk Trump foundation because I also saw Trump going on this

whole little ditty in the in the Oval Office where he was like, he's a great guy and he stood behind me said wonderful things and a black guy I told him put on some makeup he said I don't need the makeup I thought that was interesting and this is like he's just like rambling about just random shit just giving Musk a hard time. His story about the black eye is wildly unbelievable. And it got sane washed. The sane washed version was, I was roughhousing with my kid,

GX fucking whatever his name is, fake name. That's the same watch. What Musk actually said is, I told him hit me, hit me as hard as he can. And it turns out even a five-year-old can give you a black eye. Bullshit, like no one has ever done that. Could you rough house with a kid or even a dog or something

and get him a mop to the face? Sure, that can happen. But to sit there and drop your hands and ask your child to punch you in the head, that didn't happen. There's no way. your hands and ask your child to punch you in the head. That didn't happen. No. I didn't know that was the story. That's that you know why I believe he made that story up and it's obviously not true is because only someone who also paid someone to fake how good he is at Diablo 2 would think that

that's like really believable. Like and then to play Diablo on live stream and get caught for that. But I had no idea. He said, yeah, I told my tough little son, 64 is his name. Yeah, abs. And he punched me and he's a strong little fucker, that kid, like what are you talking about?

He's got that retard strict. He just came at me. In fairness though, it was the kind of black eye that like if I gave him that black eye, like if we got in a fist fight and I gave Elon Musk that black eye, I would not want people knowing that was me because that was a weak little black eye.

I would want to believe that I can throw harder than that. Like the big black eyes under the eye, that's where the swelling, that's where the bruising really spreads properly on the side here. It's not going to do the same thing. It was a solid hit. I heard it was some other member of the cabinet who called him out on a on a doge. So was it all just bullshit?

Yes. OK. Well, he didn't know. Elon Musk came out and flailing is the story. And that guy popped him. I love that story. You had heard how Elon punches. It's like how Bart Simpson and Lisa went at each other. Windmill. He goes into the windmill mode. I tell them those windmills are dangerous.

They are. I guess it started more recently with Elon saying that the big beautiful bill. How did he phrase it was was filled with pork and just just you know, just yeah, it's just so much debt in that bill. We just bought I heard that the US bought more debt back today than they've ever bought in one chunk. And you know how they bought it back, right? They printed money and then bought the debt. Every dollar in your pocket just shrunk a little today and it's not even news because Elon Musk is having a fight

on Twitter with the president calling him a veto. Yeah. So Elon Musk is, yeah, saying he's gonna go after people who vote for it, which is pretty tough. Like if you're in a purple district and you know you can't possibly raise enough money to compete against Elon Musk, then he's basically saying your career is over

if I decide to and yeah. Pre-speech between money is good. As long as you stand with AIPAC, you'll be good. I was watching the New York Mayoral, what do you call it, when they get on state debate. And one of the questions, one of those where they're like holding their feet to the fire. We want an answer When will you visit Israel?

It was like it's for the mayor of New York and every one of them fucking clicks their heels For the star of David real quick and is like I will make traveling to Israel my first priority It'll be my fourth trip there and then my fifth to Ukraine because they are our greatest allies Next guy sucks the same duck dick. He sucks It's easy to do then they get to this third guy and he's like I'll go about doing the business of being the mayor of New York. Oh, so what you're saying is we've got you on record here You're refusing Stanford Israel's is right right to exist as a Jewish state.

Israel is perfectly welcome to exist as a Jewish state, as a Jewish state. See it! And it's literally that and everybody's looking at him like he's the guy who everyone has pissed themselves in the pool. And there's this one clean area. This guy wants, as the mayor of New York won't be like, yes, yes, Israel is the most important thing. I'm technically the mayor of Tel Aviv. But what are you talking about? You're the mayor of New York. Why is this in discussion? Why are we talking about Israel or Jews or any of that? He's going to lose. Of course he's going to lose. Didn't go pay his homage. The real and Elon Musk tweeted, let's see, time to drop the really big bomb.

Donald Trump is on the Epstein files and that is the real reason they've not been made public. Have a nice day, DJT. Release the files. Who would release them? None of the, you know, it's a blackmail operation. So probably most of the people who are in a position to release it are compromised. Massad has all the files they need,

but in our government, like the people who have the files are the people named in the files. So. This I feel like we went to the end of the story. The timeline is so hard to get right. And even the articles I bookmarked so that I could do this are not good enough. They don't tell the story in order, the stupid.

So, but like the thing about canceling the government contracts, I thought was fun too. Trump is like, you know, he liked this beautiful bill until we dropped the EV credits from it. And he's like, yeah, I do think it's unfair that you dropped the EV credits, but you And he's like, yeah, I do think it's unfair that you drop the EV credits, but you left the gas and oil subsidies in there. But still, I don't care. Go ahead, drop the EV credits.

Just don't pass this bill or I'll come after you. I'm paraphrasing. And then they start talking about canceling his government contracts. And Elon's like, fine, go ahead, make my day. I'm going to cancel the Dragonfly space program. I'm really out of my depth here. Dragon spacecraft immediately, which I guess ends the International Space Station, leaves everyone stranded up there.

They need Musk to do this SpaceX shit because they're not doing it themselves. And I guess Boeing can't pull it off, I don't know. And there's more, there's more. But they said they're gonna cancel his contracts. He says, make my day. They go to the Epstein files. These two are feuding hard.

And it's for all of us to see. Yeah, and they're doing on a, but there haven't been any actual changes, right? They didn't cancel any contracts. Musk didn't change the algorithm to stop being like Republican friendly on Twitter. You know, he it's all it is, is tweets at this point. Well, I believe the message still that hasn't changed. Like I must was a true believer. It's not just that the Republicans were willing to cut him a check the Dems were too for a while.

But I think he's a true believer as far as some of this conservativism goes, as far as the budget, the deficit, and definitely on the lines of DEI and wokeness, all sorts of trans policies and such. I know, I know what side of that he's on, but I don't know. It's a shame. But Trump's not a true believer. No, he's, he's there serving himself. Of course, the bills nonsense anywhere like the bills nonsense every every every time you look at a nugget of it, it's like, whoa, really?

Yeah, I mean, every year one part that deep. There's the one part that takes the tax stamps off the suppressors and takes them off the NFA. So you just go in a store and buy yourself a suppressor and walk out with it. Now you have a suppressor. I mean, we're we're all for that. I mean, I See how that's bad. There's a little chunk of meat in the shitty soup, you know Democrat was like who wants this the the assassin lobby

This is the only cool part of it Yeah, it's like I think elon really just I think in his head he he was like, I'm the richest man of all time. I'm inextricably to his thinking linked to the current administration. I will succeed where everyone has failed over the past century plus in reducing spending. I'll be the guy that actually does it. I'm gonna make a list.

I'm gonna itemize it. I'm gonna this and that, and I'm gonna cut it. And then the machine keeps moving. The Congress looks at it and goes, cute, you're confusing money with power again, Elon. Yeah, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do what we want, and we're gonna not take any of those cuts into account,

and we're gonna actually spend even more. Go fuck yourself, America. Yeah, you thought inflation was running rampant already because of all the COVID money that got printed. Well, let's print some more. Let's print even more. He didn't find waste, fraud and abuse. I think he found a lot of waste, fraud and abuse. They're just going to maintain and continue it. There's just to codify. If there's that much fraud, why is literally nobody like in trouble? I guess we're just talking about fraud differently.

Like, like you were talking like legally fraud. I don't know. But like when they take a bunch of our money and they pay for nonsense overseas, that is in like the the the de facto way fraudulent to us, the taxpayer, maybe not du jour, like by the law, because Congress stamped it. But it's like, yeah, they're abusing our money. They're enriching themselves and their foreign allies. This bill does the same thing. Exactly. What it really is, is he was pointing out a lot of stuff that if you're a taxpayer, you're like, I don't want my money to go to that. Y'all all agreed to that, but they did all agree

to it. Congress already appropriated the funds. It's all already sent. And so like pulling them back can't be legal. It just... Our elected representatives voted to do this oftentimes good deed, like, you know, taking care of HIV infected moms. And right? Oh my god, the worst. Who wants one of those? And then, but it's like in the closet, like, I mean, when an elected representative decides that this is where we're going to go, then that's not fraud. I agree. Like legally, that's not fraud.

I'm saying the spirit of fraud is being tricked and having your money stolen and misappropriated. And that's what they do. That's what this bill does. That's what they've been doing for decades and precedents and entire lifespans of politicians. And they're just doing it again. And I think Elon is beyond pissed seeing that he got in there. He got closer than anyone. And in the end, he couldn't stop the machine. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't meaningfully... as a matter of fact, insult to injury, they spend more, they print more.

And they continue. They're raising the defense budget in a significant way right now. Oh, huge. It's the biggest defense budget ever. It's like a trillion or something. It's crazy. But it's already bigger than the what?

Next 10 countries combined? Why does it need to be so big? We were on, I think it was PKN and Kyle's. The expansion is bigger than Russia. Yeah. Wow. We were on PKN and Kyle's like, but we can afford it. And I didn't push back at the time, but I was like,

we can't afford anything. We're in debt. We can't afford the, like, we need to cut the budget, not raise it in the biggest way ever possible. Yeah. But there's just, it's impossible to do that in a democracy because what costs us money is like entitlements.

And the second anyone comes out and goes, hey, our bad, all those people who said it was a Ponzi scheme, social security, you're right. It is, it's just a government mandated one. This isn't gonna be around forever. It's a model that relies on infinite forever growth. We gotta cut it out. We're just ending it today.

That person will lose in a way that like makes McGovern look successful. So as an old person, I feel like he should like when I was 18, I was like, yeah, can I opt out of Social Security? I don't think this is a good deal. I could put seven or 15% of my income, depending on how you count it, into something private and do better. I would rather do that. I literally was like, what if I became a priest? Not a real one, of course, but like on paper, a priest so that I could get out of social security

like those cheating rapists do. So I didn't do it. Now I've been paying into social security for over 30 years. And it's like, well, now you can't change the rules on me. That's bullshit. Like I'm entitled to the social security I've been paying into since I was 14 years old. And-

I see where you're coming from. Like there's not a good solution, but like it's a scam. Well, they took some scam money away. They took the food, they're cutting from food stamps. Because those are the people who needed money the least, the people on food stamps. Yeah, those programs don't get abused horribly. Oh my god, that's a net good, you know that's a net good program. Yeah, people who need it for sure. But like, this is where it comes down,

like cuts are going to have to be made everywhere. How do they abuse it? You buy shit that you shouldn't be buying on it, you get enormous allotments that you don't actually need. But there are rules for what you can spend on with. Yeah. The rules themselves are abusable. I also know the VA. I wasn't here's another guy who tried to abuse the rules on snap. He was in prison. He was going to die there.

Well, he probably was like buying crack with it or something. It was selling it and then taking the money to buy. He was he was buying food stamps. Too many Fritos. He was buying food stamps for cash. That's Fritos? He was buying food stamps for cash. That's how you actually use it. Quick note for listeners, snap is the new word for food stamps.

In case you didn't know. Yeah. He was buying food stamps for cash as a store and then at a discounted rate because then the people can actually abuse snap because there are rules on what you can spend the money on. And sometimes they're overly restrictive. There was a time when it seemed like you couldn't get female, like tampons and stuff. You couldn't get female hygiene products with your snap.

It's like every now and then I'll hear, oh, all of a sudden, now the prisons in Ohio will provide tampons for free. And I'm like, they weren't already? How is that not in everyone's life? You know who was against that? The janitor's lobby. They had so much overtime wrapped up in prisons. And then the VA thing, I know Woody and I've talked about that, like there are a ton of veterans who deserve it and are getting the money and that's good. Like, and they should continue to get it. One of my closest friends, the combat Marine, he got actually injured over there has knee problems now. And, you know,

he has like football time, but yeah, he was playing flag football on the base. It wasn't from really stressful traumatic stuff. And he gets some money now, which he's told us about our friend group. And I'm like money now, which he's told us about our friend group. And I'm like, yeah, that seems totally reasonable. You should be paid out that much for the rest of your life because of your service. Like you're a real veteran. You fought and you saw people die.

They do get a lifetime one on the NFL. If they have the requisite number of games, I believe. But I also know someone who is on lifetime VA disability, not full disability, but he gets an amount of money that if I were to give it to you, it's not negligible. It's real money, impactful, and tax-free, his knee skiing and then said it was from something training related. And now he makes money on that. And it's like, you don't think there are a bunch

of people doing that? I would like guarantee there's a bunch of people doing that. I don't want to tell stories about people in my life because a lot of all get connected. Sure. But, you know, sometimes it's just a bunch of little injuries. My elbow got twinged and my ankle got hurt. My feelings got hurt.

And those three is combined to make me 50% disability. And I think that it needs to be way harder to get there. Yeah. Yeah. It's easily a bit like like like even think about that. Even consider a politician saying, hey, you know, VA, it's great for a lot of these guys who served and they really do need it. But there's also a lot of legs. And that guy's going to be like, you're trying to take my money. You're trying to take. I can't afford anything without this. You're trying to take it away. And then every news source is going to be, they're trying to take it from fucking Sergeant No Legs and give it to a billionaire.

And it's like immediately the war is like, that's what any attempt to cut entitlements is going to do. Like it's we're really kind of fucked there's no way to end it is there i would take political bravery so no there's no way so no that's that's not something you find in democracies i everybody wants to keep their job you need term limits you need you need to make uh you need term limits like the thing about trump the worst thing about trump i i've been saying this all along, people don't fucking get it. On the planet, they don't get it.

I see the post, ha ha, Trump delta, another loss, and this and that. He can't lose. He already won. He won almost a year ago. He can't lose. They've made him, he can't get in any trouble for anything he does while he's president. He's already won. There isn't going to be a next term and he knows that.

He doesn't care about, I don't know, political ammunition or if this person likes him or that person likes him. He's doing whatever he wants. He's already won. Anytime someone like puts a finger in Trump pie and was like, ah, look at this loss he took. No, he doesn't care. Like all day long, he's just la la la la la.

I'm the winner. I'm the best in the world. He's so happy right now. He has to be. I wonder if that changes if the Democrats get the house. They're just going to look at all these crypto transactions. They're going to look at the plane. There's a lot.

There must be a huge paper trail. How about the guy that bought, I'm gonna mix up the number, is it 82 million dollars worth of Trump's crypto? And then they stopped the SEC investigation that was going on about him? That feels super dirty to me. Right?

Justin Sung or something close to that. And there's more examples. He's sold many pardons at this point. And how can you not like, look at the checks come in, see the pardons go out and not see a connection? Maybe we shouldn't allow pardons anymore. Cause it seems like you can either buy them or just let your administration, let a pen write it for you for whoever you want for a 10 year span. Seems kind of like it's no more pardons. I don't know the answer. Maybe you get, maybe it's like a, I don't know, like a video game.

Like you roll a dice at the beginning and so it's no more than six ever, but you still get at least one. Some pardons are good, right? I have seen pardons, the dealt out to people who really were getting a raw deal I thought. And then you have like, I didn't like all the January six pardons, the dealt out to people who really were getting a raw deal, I thought. And then you have like, I didn't like all the January six pardons he handed out. I certainly don't like the particular individual dirty ones like Justin songs. I didn't like to go in the other direction Biden pre pardoning

his family. So I like a decade period of time, anything they did between x and y time, right? That's a lot of time. Like, is this allowed? It's like the machine already signed it moron. Yeah, it's allowed. Democrats don't defend that one, at least not the ones I see. Hard to defend.

But yeah. But even if like if I was convicted in criminal court, like we know that Hunter was just a full blown drug addict, like piece of shit. And there's nothing to suggest that any of that changed ever from the infidelity to the cancer stuff and the he's ever a cool guy of the week. The little little thing to hang out with. I don't know if hanging out with someone

on meth is like hanging out with someone on coke when you're not on. I bet you are crack. I bet he would actually not be fun to hanging out with someone on meth is like hanging out with someone on coke when you're not on I bet you are Crack I bet he would actually not be fun to hang out with I'm down. I'm down Like crack sound you know how annoying it is to hang out with someone on coke, dude Imagine that like probably doubled that must be what math is like He'd just be you'd be like asking him if you could take a ride in the presidential helicopter But he'd just be standing by the window opening the blinds and closing them over and over, trying to see if someone was outside.

People on crack and coke act the same, right? Am I wrong? I don't actually know. Well, if you have the FBI, you're smoking the crack in a crack rock. I think it's giving you a different high. We certainly- Definitely stronger is my understanding.

We certainly went after those crimes very differently between powder cocaine and crack cocaine from the 80s and 90s. Yeah. Well, you can move crack, like crack cocaine stronger, like per gram, isn't it? Is that not right? I mean, one of them, you're, you're snorting and then one of them you're, you're, you're smoking. So it it's just I don't even know if it's comparable. But the results seem to be wildly different. Certainly along the the. See the bill, right? Is it that, yeah, crack people started off worse,

and that's why they're always so racist. Oh, I wasn't even picturing, I was picturing a- We know your thoughts on the crack people as you call them, Woody, and we're not down for that. In my mind, it was an overly skinny white woman whose ribs you could see. That's meth. That's meth, you said?

Meth is white crack. That's true, now that's true. All right, well, look, I didn't know, but you were wrong about the picturing the black thing. I wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Oh, Matt is the strongest. Brandon Buckingham, he does these videos and you see like zombies walking in the street. And I was like probably incorrectly imagining them. They're mostly white people. The zombies are heroin. Yeah. It's like heroin and fentanyl and all those mixtures of like super strong

Tranquilizers of different sorts. There's all sorts of cocktails that they make now But those people when I see them leaning like that, it's like I couldn't maintain that Keeping them up. It's like, you know the Michael Jackson video where he like hooks his in the pegs and Michael Jackson video where he hooks his feet in the pegs and he leans way forward. Smooth criminal. Yeah, I saw a clip of some guy on meth the other day standing in a way that it's like, if this were a game show challenge for a trillion dollars, I couldn't do what he's doing right now. And he was just out of his gourd on the street corner drooling on himself.

It's super impressive. Looks like an awful time. They're like leaning backwards and they're twisted like halfway and then one arm's out in the front and one arm's way behind him and there's maintaining that in broad daylight on a sidewalk. Sit down, druggy. You're making a spectacle of yourself.

Can you just enjoy your high leaning against the wall? Yeah, go lay on one of those spiked anti-homeless benches. Piece of shit. Dude, I hate those things. What? I love them. Do you? Everything should have spikes on it? It should look like fucking Koopa runs. But I can't sit down. Look at that guy. He's tying his shoe. Leave that guy alone. Dude, has dick sucking potential, not anyone else's, but like I think he's halfway there. My guy on the right looks like he's got

like despicable me body. His head is all down. Do you think every morning, like if you're a heroin addict, do you think every single morning you wake up like, ah, ah, what was I doing yesterday? And it's like, well, you were totally folded like a fucking birthday card standing outside CVS making people uncomfortable.

Oh man. That's good, that dude selling candy is up. So he's not leaning, this is a mean picture. He's picking up his candy that he dropped. His shoe's not even on. Is that one of his herseys? Look, that's a Hershey's cookies and cream right there. That's a good, that's a good

I didn't say you had bad taste. You know, I like the Hershey's cookies and cream, but like I can at least understand. Like if you're into meth, I bet you're getting up to all sorts of hijinks, doing meth things, stealing copper. You're out and about, like you're doing, you know, meth addict things things if you're with a bunch of people on heroin how do you even have a party like is everyone just come over and then independently not out and it's just silent for sure for sure we're all like being a corner to sit in and and like quietly vomit on ourselves it just sounds awful awful. Oh, her drugs are so scary. I know the topic kind of shifted,

but Tesla went down $152 billion today, which is a lot. Just getting started. Just getting started, Woody. I said it before I say it again. So far. All right, you know, the Tesla's going down. There's no way they recover. Too much robust competition.

He's clearly lost the favor of Caesar. And on top of all that, his product wasn't that good to begin with. And it was the cult of personality propping things up. I believe in his space companies, SpaceX is the future probably. That thing's so incredibly powerful, but I don't believe in Tesla anymore.

I don't know how you can. They need a product. They need a sick new product that's bad ass and it's not coming. Have you not seen the Cybertruck? They need a Roadster. They need that Roadster out and it needs to be affordable.

That would do the trick. So what, like what could they, like is the board of Tesla gonna be like, all right, we've finally had it. We're gonna get rid of this guy or can they even do that? I would expect that won't happen unless the valuation drops a lot more than it is, because I don't know what Ford's price earnings ratio is, but I bet it's like nine.

And I don't know what Tesla's is, but I bet it's like 200. And the reason it's so highly valued is Elon Musk. I'm gonna go check my numbers. That's fair enough. I guess he in the market side, he still brings more than he takes away. So Ford is an eight and Tesla. But it's down 14.26% today.

Tesla's is 156. So I was a little high on both. I just don't think it's gonna work. And I see these pictures of huge parking lots full of cyber trucks that are gonna start corroding next year. Like I just don't see it. They're in so much trouble.

Why? I'm sorry, no, no, in so much trouble. Why? Why? I'm sorry. Why are they corroding already? Well, it's one of the things they get a little rusty. That's fucking ridiculous. Yeah it is. It's made of stainless steel and apparently it's not stainless enough.

You look at an old DeLorean, which by the way, if there was any movie card to get, in my opinion, DeLorean is the coolest one. The fucking Marty McFly time travel car. It is the- I'd rather have Biff's car. I don't remember, I remember Biff having like an old hot rod of some kind, but it was a big- Convertible. Yeah.

I think it was a cooler car than the DeLorean also. Y'all are crazy with those gull wing doors, and the thing is stainless steel, so you polish it up, but it's like a mirror. Can we see a picture of a Tesla, Zach? Because my mental image of a test, oh, I'm sorry. I meant to say DeLorean and Zach, I'm sorry. They have a square body and in certain angles,

they're not that pretty. And the tires seem not cool. Like, there are aspects of it they got right, but significant things they got wrong according to me. We'll see. The gull wing doors are really neat though. I did forget about those. That is cool. I like that.

You can't take that away from them. The little loops. Oh, that is a really good angle. It does show how the tires don't fit. Yeah, Zach never gets bones again. Thank you, Zach. That's a good one. That's a good one, Zach.

And I would want to do the back seat up like the movie, put it, put the flux capacitor and gizmos in there. I saw a Knight Rider car, which is another one. What are you laughing at? It's a class. It's just a hilarious thing. I was just picturing you like driving that. Well, this baby hits 88 miles per hour. I would have so much fun with that. I would. Your poor girlfriend is listening to the same monologue about the car. 200th time on the way to do it looks bad in that one. She'd be saying it too.

She dress up as Marty McFly. I'd be Doc Brown. It'd be sick. I'm walking around touching her. DeLorean from the front. What? I said, is that can we see a DeLorean from the front, please? Yeah, you can tell it's got an ugly front It's like they didn't get the nose and the tires right according to me. So there was I

Think there were some some legal restrictions on headlights back then that made them all that ugly I remember reading something about how like when the tourists came along that they changed that that law or something i don't remember the specifics but i agree from the front yeah it it's the movie that sells it to me the most and i do like the stainless steel body the knight rider car zack if you can find that one i saw one of those tricked out to be kit or whatever from knight rider like it was it plays the music the interior is all tricked out. I don't know what that is on the right. But I like it.

What is that? Is that the new one? Looks like a mouse for a computer. I imagine it only exists in Blender, but I just made that up. You're probably right. I would have the loops removed from my DeLorean because I wouldn't want anyone to think that a manlet drove it. What's a loop?

Those loops that you use to pull the door down. But if you're a big boy, I imagine a car that low, you just reach up and you don't want that loop. It's the seat that you use it right to close the door. Yeah. Well, I thought you could probably just reach out and lean and close it. But I don't know. I've never sat in a DeLorean nor seen one in person. That's this one. In my mind, the tires aren't perfect. Like the wheel wells, something I don't know. I've never sat in a DeLorean nor seen one in person. That's this one in my mind. The tires aren't perfect. Like the wheel wells, something too round about them,

but this still holds up to me. This looks like an attractive car. I agree. And it's cooler if you see it from the inside because he's got, I don't know if this is the one I saw, but the guy I saw had his perfectly tricked out. The car talked to you with Kit's voice and everything. Oh, okay, it's Lennox.

He's got better wheels on his. Yeah, it it's Lennox. He's got better time. We had better wheels on his. Yeah, it's a car. He's got every car. He could probably put that next to a DeLorean. What he probably owns in the morning. What happens to that car collection when he dies? I bet he goes to a museum that he already owns for tax purposes. Does he have kids?

They probably get them. Look at that. That's what I'm talking about, dude. Oh, yes, that's kit. This looks futuristic when I was nine. have kids they probably get them. Look at that that's what I'm talking about dude oh yes that's kit. This looks so futuristic when I was nine. That's what I like about it this is the angle we should have taken with cars like there's no reason that cars shouldn't look like this. Tesla kind of does it with their yoke you know that they do have the yoke steering but I like everything about this I like the gizmos and

wires I like the the nonsensical lights all that gauge panel on the far right with all the red bars and they're green on the Dude, I love this. I don't like it. I like the aesthetic of the yeah but I don't like the function like sometimes you just like to like drape your fingers over the lowest part of the wheel while you're Driving if you're feeling lazy and you can't do that. You have to be like fucking nine and three at all times. I love to look at the yoke. I don't think it's better. Yeah. It's not. I've never tried to drive a car that could be driven with just, what would that be? 180 to 90 degrees in each direction, right?

Um, that I imagine the car would be too jerky and that's why things take like three revolutions to go to the end. that I imagine the car would be too jerky and that's why things take like three revolutions to go to the end. Yeah, it looks neat, but- Is it possible? Could you get used to it? I don't know. Looks like a little form over function.

You could have some sort of electronic driving thing where when you get to the end, it continues to go without you continuing the circle around, but that doesn't seem like it's a good idea for a motor vehicle that needs to dodge danger potentially. And there shouldn't be a really long learning curve to how a steering wheel works. We all kind of know how they work. To change up that formula is dangerous. I remember my dad had a Mustang, like a 60s Mustang when I was growing up, and he would let me drive it sometimes. And before the first time he was like Taylor

This does not have power steering yet. I haven't had the guy put power steering. I don't even know if he ever did and He was like so it's gonna turn differently and I'm like, yeah Okay, like I'm sure it'll be about the same and like some of the first turns like turning left out of my neighborhood To head to my friend's house like just onto a normal left turn road. I'm like turning and I'm like, Oh, crank it and crank it and crank it and crank it. And then you get going straight and you let it go. And it goes through like multiple spins back. I didn't realize how much I took power steering for granted. Dude, my wife's first car didn't have power steering and her father was like,

you just kind of have to get used to it. Strengthen up. This is a five foot seven woman who weighs 106 pounds. Yeah. And she's just not strong. Her wrists, like I think they fit like they're so small. Yeah. And anyway, he installed power steering for her after she took out that stoplight. She couldn't turn. Just like I'm tumbling down on top of the car. I was paying attention, dad, but physiologically, I could not turn the car. Yeah, that's it. Like there are no other

complicating factors involved. She just couldn't turn the wheel and she was a new driver. Yeah. Well, I said you actually kind of made me actually, I kind of forgot the cool stuff about the DeLorean, but I really think if you want to take that DeLorean, if you take that DeLorean and you put non-gullwing doors on it, I'm suddenly like not even a little impressed. I really like all wing doors, except when people like ghetto style, throw them on a caprice or something like I don't want to see it on a junkie car or like on a ghetto mobile. I'm not into that, but cars that just have goal wing doors and doors that I think of

all doors that go up as goal wing, but I don't think that's the that's the correct terminology. The ones that sort of go up like a scissor might be called technically something else, but I like that. Does the locust have that? I also don't know the name of the scissor doors, but which one do you like more? The gullwing doors. The thing that Elon did on his SUV,

that's the tech. That's the move for doors in my opinion. So they go up like a gullwing, but he's engineered it in such a way or someone has that it actually doesn't swing out hit things the way a standard one was it has some to it. And so the line that the edge of the door takes is is better than say yeah like if someone parked I'll make it up like eight inches from you the gull wing door would still manage to rise. Yeah it doesn't hit people next to you. Yeah, that's cool.

Although like I don't like parking people next to people, even in a shit box. You know, I just, I don't want the drama of that. I've never hit anybody with my door and I've never been hit by anybody's door, but I feel like that would make me very, very angry. I've been hit and I was angry. So I was driving a shit box. It might've been my taco, which had like dents in it. No, it was my Ford Focus.

And some guy was in Home Depot parking lot and they were loading their car. Like maybe with the ladder, they were like standing on the bumper, like getting shit loaded up. And his door was against my car, just like grinding, going up and down, up and down as their car bounced bounce touching my car?

And I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, what? And I was like, your door is grinding on my car. Like I know it's not a good car, but you should have some respect for people. And he's like, he said sorry in a way that made it seem like I was the dick over. Sorry. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I guess if you're going to make a big deal, sorry. And it's like, you should be sorry. You're grinding your door against mine. But like you didn't. You could rub off the mark with your thumb. It's like, I but there was a mark. Either way, pretty rude. Yeah. Just like like like crash into someone else's car to the grocery store and be like, sorry.

It's like you're the one who came barreling into the chip aisle. So excited at what snacks were ahead of you that you didn't notice I was here. I have a lot of respect for other people's cars. You know, you never know what that car means to them financially or even like emotionally, you that thing could have sentimental value maybe they built that thing themselves maybe that car is like taking every dime they have in the world just to make those payments you go and disrespect that thing they might murder you at fucking Walmart's I agree what you're saying although that doesn't describe who I hated my car I hated that car so fucking You know when you get a new car, you love it? I parked in the garage that night and I was like, oops.

And then for like years, as I walked to my Ford Focus in the Cisco parking lot, I liked literally every car in the parking lot more than my own. I would trade with, it would be like a 18 year old Ford F-150 shit box and I'm like, it's still cooler than the Focus. I hated my Focus so much. It sucks to buy a new car and immediately be like,

fuck, this is a gay car. I hated it so much. And I remember I had a coworker who was a friend of mine when he saw me got it. He goes, you got a Ford focus? And I was like, this is starting good. Got a load of Woody's shit car. Did you hear me? I called it fuckers.

Let us get out of here. Those guys came to work on a tandem bicycle in their car. Two Indian guys are holding hands laughing at you as they walk. 80% of the Indians I work with had Toyota Camrys. That was the standard. Come to America. You got to get a Toyota Camrys. It's like, that was the standard, where they come to America, you gotta get a Toyota Camry in a one-bedroom apartment. That's your starting kit in India. Yeah, and then you have to not mow your lawn

until the HOA tells you to. One guy took up like art, like that was his thing. He got into art after work. So I went over to his apartment one time and we were like picking up something during lunch. And dude, the carpets were wrecked. He's using like chalk and shit to like draw on canvas or whatever he's doing. He's painting in there. He treated the whole like apartment like a studio or some sort. And I think he really took up art because he was drawing nude models

and he got to see naked women at night, something he didn't do in real life. That's incredibly Indian of him. Yeah. I am an Arctic. Ayush, you're the real one. Yeah. This way no one can tell me how many bobs and vaginas

I can see. I simply draw them in my ruined guest bedroom. The next day, tell me about the models or whatever. It was hilarious. The Indian co-workers being mean about your Ford Fucas is so funny. It's a motivating factor. Look at you now. I've never, I've never seen anybody. The thing is like, maybe I've just haven't been around

me enough people because I've never heard anyone call a black person the N word. I've never heard him. I've only one time in my life did I see someone who was gay get called the F slur. And I've never heard anybody get made fun of for something they couldn't like change. Like what your car, like in high school it like when I was in high school. Everybody had a car Everybody had a car. You didn't have a car at 16. It was weird and Nobody's getting dropped off by their parents or taking the bus after 16. You're at least gonna have a buddy who has a car You're a real loser not to even know someone who has a car But I never saw anybody make fun of somebody else's car.

There were people with brand new 35,000, $40,000 cars and there were people in absolute shit boxes. And we were just all happy to be mobile, you know? Nobody was making fun of anybody's ride. Yeah. We only made fun of people's rides if they also joined in. Like, you know, maybe they had a derogatory nickname

for their own car or something like that. I called mine the Shagon wagon, other people did too. There was not very much Shagon going on. It was Station wagon. But... It's Panarakan, I'm broken down and I need help. I'm probably under it trying to fix it. One of my cousin's first cars was a Chevy Blazer, the SUV. Yeah.

And it was a real shit. It was the square bodied one and the wheel came off while he was driving one day, the whole wheel and tire. And so he's in a tricycle now and it just goes in the ditch and totals the whole thing out and his dad's like, how did you wreck? And he's like, the wheel came off this piece of shit. You got me right around the whole wheel and tire just came off and left me. That must be an old Chevy blazer thing because my younger brother had one and the exact I

know I told this years ago but the exact thing happened. He had a he had a Hyundai Tiburon at first which was like a little tiny car and it got wrecked through it either got wrecked through no fault of his own or it was like a degree of a lemon through no fault of his own it was not his fault whatsoever that this car fell apart or got destroyed I don't remember which one happened but he got it replaced with this like dark brown blazer and like my dad was like you know you got to take care of this car you You know, don't, you know, you can't get you another car after this. And the exact thing happened.

He was driving on just a normal road and then he came to a stop and he said he stopped and his wheel didn't. And so he just had to like sit there at a busy intersection and wait for the police or a tow truck to come. Not the police. I don't think he was retarded enough to call the police for that, but just just lost it. Lost his whole wheel. So maybe that's a maybe that's a Ford or a Chevy Blazer thing, Kyle. I've never heard of the blazer forums and like the first one is like, my wheel came off on the way to school. And then somebody's like,

and then some guy like suspiciously with a Ford icon next to his name or a Chevy icon next to his name is like Ah, that shouldn't have happened Gator went through so many cars when we were 16 to 18 It was shocking because like after that he got like a Ford Taurus his dad went car shopping without him And before his dad left, he was like I'd love a pickup truck or a Camaro or maybe a Mustang, even an old one. This is what he left his father with. His father returned with one of those Ford Taurus's that looked like a shaver. You know, had the sides had that ripple to them. They're all rounded

out with a bug eye front. Hittous mom car from the early 2000s. It took him about three months to destroy that car. There was a flood and he drove it into the floodwaters on purpose and claimed he got washed away. I drove it into the floodwaters on purpose. Those are the ugliest cars ever. I know exactly the body you're talking about. I thought this was a pretty dope parenting move

that one of my friends made. He got a small truck with no backseat, and the parents intentionally made it so that he would, like, he could only have one friend in it, I think. And the dynamic changes so much when there's only one friend. Like when there's a group of people peer pressuring

the driver to do something stupid, or like a party atmosphere, but when it's only two people in the car, sanity is likely to prevail. And his parents saw that coming and got him a car that could only hold one other person. I had a friend whose parents did the exact opposite. Really?

It was like, he, uh, he was like, I want a van that I can put all the boys in. I want, I need three rows. And that's what they got him. They got him a mini van and he would load it up with all the boys in. I want, I need three rows. And that's what they got him. They got him a minivan and he would load it up with all of his boys. That guy actually partied too hard, paralyzed himself. Yeah. Oh. Sad story.

Yeah. Did he move to the parallel? I'm sorry. What's the car though? No, he was fucking around on some tall ass banister at college, like doing some sort of like slide down the banister in a movie, like he was in Harry Potter or some shit.

And he just fell off the banister down like 15, 20 feet onto his head and like retarded himself essentially for the rest of his life. Like how, how paralyzed the whole thing? Like not only paralyzed, but like retarded, like needs diapers and full time care. Like he went from wild and crazy guy in college to like, he's still a little wild and crazy. I bet a little, a little Bud Light in his feeding tube. They keep him hidden. I haven't seen him since 2000.

My autism compels me to throw out one more parenting tip. My friend's dad did this and I thought it was genius. They paid for his car insurance until he got his first ticket. And he knew those rules. So this was a college friend of mine. He was on my swim team. He never sped. He's like, I can't get off this gravy train. I drive the speed limit. You know, my dad pays for my insurance and he stops and I go to take it. Oh damn. Like it had exactly the intended effect. That's a good deal. That's actually really smart. I had no such deal. I got in a bunch of trouble

driving early on speeding. I passed a school bus one day trying to get home with my breakfast when I was 16. And they like the school bus took my license plate, called the cops, and then the cops called me

and they're like, hey, did you just pass a school bus illegally? And I'm like, eating my big breakfast from McDonald's at home. I mean, doesn't sound like my big breakfast from McDonald's at home. I mean, that doesn't sound like the one near the McDonald's. No. But I was like, yeah, yeah, I did. And it was like, all right,

come to city hall. You're in trouble. And like, I had to get my dad and I'm like, I'm in trouble. I felt like lying to the police was, I figured I was on video, maybe, you know, I didn't want to lie to the police was I figured I was on video maybe you know I didn't want to lie to the police so I told the truth and took my Whatever punishment it wasn't that bad. It was a ticket. Maybe a fine or something It's a big deal in New Jersey. It's like five points twelve you lose a license Hmm, and it's expensive and I think they may have taken some points or something But you know I I didn't drive crazy all the time or at least I didn't get Caught driving crazy all the time. I only get caught maybe

Twice two or three times speeding like like I would get I've got caught going a hundred once in my truck And they just wrote me a ticket. I guess they were just nice about it I don't know what Carolina would go harder on that if you're over 15 It's like it's a felony and you could lose your license and mm-hmm. Damn I've heard and because you're from New Jersey, you would know, like the reputation I heard from, probably from old ONA episodes, cause they were in New York

and always driving around in New Jersey, was that like the New Jersey state troopers are like hard scoping for out of state plates and they make a tremendous amount of money on out of state tickets. Is there any truth to that? I've heard that. I don't know what the truth is, but I've heard that too.

Yeah. I've heard there's like some tricky rules that other states don't have on the road in New Jersey. Like I know they have the gas pumping thing, which is weird. The only time I filled up gas in Oregon ever, I just unthinkingly got out and like started pumping my gas. You're stealing jobs. I was stuck at stealing jobs and this dude came out and was like, Hey, what are you doing? And it's like getting gas. And he's like, no, you sit in there, princess.

I'll do the, Oh, you already pulled the lever. Damn it. Cracked the code. I'm going to turn it off, take it out, put it in, pull it again. New Jersey people love having their gas pump for them. Mostly. I liked it growing up. I thought it was really nice. It was like white glove service was the thought in your head. And New Jersey has a lot of bad weather too.

It's often either too hot. It's only one degree cooler than North Carolina in the summer. It's 10 degrees cooler in the winter. So it's often icy and the skies are gray for nine months a year. So to have someone else pump your gas often, you're kind of like being catered to.

I would hate it. I would hate it. What if you're poor and you're like, give me 87 cents. Don't don't you fucking go for I'm telling you, I'm warning you right now. I will drive off. That's how I did it when I was young. You know, I'll take four dollars worth, please. And yeah, you know, before you might be embarrassed by that though. When you're 16, you don't care. But maybe what if you're a 42 year old man?

You need 87 cents worth of gas. Like while you're your time away from your lady to like decompress a little, like maybe, maybe there was a fight after at the, about the movie. Maybe you think her take was dumb and you, you said the wrong word. And now we're about to head to dinner. Hypothetically, this didn't actually happen yesterday. Hypothetically, she had a bad take on alien Romulus, dumb bitch.

And so you're outside the car decompressing, thinking about your apology. And you need that pumping time outside the car, outside in the cold air, away from the little warm pocket of perfume air to get your head straight. You go back in and you scrape things out. What would be a bad take about Romulus.

I'm curious that we should watch after the 32 minutes in because it's clearly going to be bullshit that we should finish the movie. I just picture me like I turned it. Yeah, I couldn't finish Alien Romulus. I know you dumb bitch. Saruman did not have a point. Oh, I don't want one that pumping my gas after I started pumping my own gas. I appreciated the speed of it.

Like now the weather would have to be pretty awful. You know, raining sideways type stuff for me to wish it was someone else. Can you get out while you're filling up? So like, could I be like, all right, fill her up and then go in and grab a soda? Because I often just like grab a Diet Coke or Pepsi while I'm there. I don't know for sure. When I lived in Jersey, Quickie Marts were new. Oh, it's just traditional gas stations where they weren't selling anything else.

Right. I'll see. Hmm. Get yourself something to drink. What's an LC? Oh, Gord. LC. I thought you said there were an LC or something about the gas station.

I don't know. I must have misheard. That's yeah. I said quickie March for new. I don't recall. No, no big deal. Yeah. If you get on my guy, then I'm fine with it. If you have to sit in the car and let them pump and then I have to go out and like get my soda. Not a fan of that at all. That's just waste my time. Or it would save me money. And I'm really careful when I pump gas. Again, even if I'm in a shit box or somebody else's car, like I don't wanna,

you don't wanna drip any gasoline, you know? Like outside the car, or if I do, I want it on the ground. I don't care about that. I'll pour it all over the ground. I don't care about that. I want it on the car. In Jersey, they do it well.

Like at least the ones that like back in the day, this is so long ago, but like Corvettes, for example, they would fill sort of like in the trunk, almost from the top. And I've seen them do it. They bring a rag with them so that as they lift it, no drops, you know, it could come out of the nozzle. Things like that.

Oh, and then back in their early days, they wash your windows for you also. You know, they do the thing, just rearrange the pattern of the dirt on your front windshield. We have a guy that does that in every gas station in Atlanta. Skinny homeless guy. Yeah. That's like a bunch of newspapers getting ink on your show.

I'm a little money and say, tell me to do a good job and then you drive away. He's got no representation. Ah, we have got filthy. I can read some of the headlines on my windshield now. I would pay you to not put that filthy newspaper on my car. I don't know how those guys make a living. I guess they don't. They're watching windshields through tacit threat.

That's what their business model is. They're going to get mad if you don't let them do this thing. I hate getting begged when I'm in my in distant traffic. Like in Atlanta, every fucking you get off the interstate and you know, you get to that first red light intersection, you left or right or pull through and get back on the interstate. There's always like three or four black guys there selling water. But where'd y'all get this big pile of water?

And like the price is negotiable. It's like I'm in a Middle Eastern bizarre all of a sudden. Like my friend, my friend. It's just and they're just they're selling the waters. And then what's the other one? Oh, the the Shriners or something. The guy was the guys with the funky hats. You know those guys that have like a bucket hat?

Oh my God, those, you'll be at a big intersection that takes a long time. And they start filtering into traffic, walking in the street, up to every car begging from us all. And it's like, I don't, they've got pictures of sick kids. They're wearing print, like photographs of sick children on their chests, and they're shaking that bucket at your window

Yeah, tricky. It's like I could give you money, but if I gave everyone money who asked for it, I wouldn't have anymore So I'm not giving you money Lived in like the city like you'd see people like that. We're like you stop at a light and You know God willing you're not one of like the first four cars in the light because there's a guy on the median who's like, say, go and knock on everybody's window with a bucket, like a Homer's all-purpose Home Depot bucket being like, we're raising money for my son's baseball team.

And it's like, really? Because you're wearing a shirt that says, try me. And you have one shoe on. Like I don't believe you have a son nor that this has anything to do with the baseball team please please turn green so I can drive away from this lunatic. Change your light of hockey maybe you'll make some progress. Yeah I'll donate to your son to getting your son some new pads so he doesn't have to play to get sports. I don't like I don't like solicitors I don't like beggars any of that stuff and I don't like I don't like solicitors. I don't like beggars any of that stuff. And I don't like dealing with it. Put me in this weird position. Little kids come into my my house like selling magazine subscriptions. I remember when I was 19 someone came to my

house selling magazine subscriptions. Why would I want to vibe subscription dude? What are you doing? This is the wrong door. This is the wrong door. I don't know how you make a living like that. And the Girl Scouts do. I can get your cookies at the dollar store for a quarter of that price, you know, bitches. When it's a neighbor kid, now, no one comes to my door, my driveway's too long. But in Apex, where I used to live,

I would like over donate and I don't even want this stuff. Like, you know, we're raising money for my baseball team. It's like, if I gave you 20, can I opt out of the popcorn or like your coupon book is really just trash to me. Why don't you save it for somebody else? Give the next guy two and leave because this is awful. Yeah. I hate, I hate solicitors. It's the only kind I'm okay with is if it's like a young enough kid that they're offering to like mow my lawn or something. And then I know that it's like, there is no, there's no way that this 12 year old kid knows

what my no soliciting sign means. Like there's no way he knows what that means. But like if some adult shows up, we were in the neighborhood and we've been redoing people's roofs. You want to let me in and sit at your fucking dining room table and I can tell you that it's going to cost $92,000 to replace your roof before you ask me to leave. And it's like, no, no, go away, please. I know you're just not in the neighborhood. I had an addict company. This is probably a year and a half, two years ago now where these two guys showed up at my house and were like, hey, we were just in the neighborhood

doing some work. And so we're offering to the other neighbors, you know, there's a lot of problems with attics. A lot of people have rats in their attics and they don't even know about it. And it's like, I'm like, okay. And he's like, so, you know, what we do is we clean out all that old insulation where there's like rat feces. And he's like trying to scare me and everything. And he's like, and then we replace it with new high quality top of the line insulation, which is actually going to save you fucking 17 cents annually on your heating grid. And then at the end, the guy's like, so we'll do it all. We go in, we clean it out. We trash it for you. We replace it and that's you know, only 22 and I was like

Literally not trying to do a bit I was like that's 2200 and he's like 22,000 and I was like, no, okay. How about you give me a card and Okay, how about you give me a card and try and swindle some other retard who's going to be like, oh, hey, I had to lose $22,000 today because two 19 year olds, college dropouts, said there's rats shitting in our attic. The closest I've come to getting into a fight in years has both times has been solicitors coming to my door and not wanting to take no for an answer. I get so angry and defensive about it. I'm just like, you didn't see the sign? What are you windows and fucking blinds? No, I don't. Not only test services. And if they don't react to that

well, then I don't react to that well. And I called the one guy a faggot to a space. I did, I swear. No, it was a white like Mormon looking bitch on a segue.got to his face. I did, I swear. He was black so it was okay. No, it was a white Mormon looking bitch on a Segway. Oh, I know what I did. I told him to get out of here on his faggot mobile. I mean, you had a point. I'm getting mad just remembering it, but I'm like,

I'm on my front doorstep screaming, shaking my loud enough so that all the neighbors in the like within, I'm as loud as I can be without my voice breaking. Everyone it's got, it's got to fuck me. Listen to him. Don't look, don't believe his lies. Like it's a momentum screaming. I hate that. I't listen to him. Don't look up, don't believe his lies. Like it's a momentum. I'm threatening him and screaming. I hate that. I hate it so much. It's like, what did you see the sign?

You didn't see the sign? It says no soliciting. And you know, sometimes my sleep schedule is so bad that I just went to bed at noon. You know? Especially when I was like on that COVID workout schedule where I was, I needed to be at the gym at like 2.30 AM on pre-workout and like going like 3.00 PM is 3.00 AM to me. I was in the middle of the schedule where I was, I needed to be at the gym at like 2 30

AM on pre workout and like going like 3 PM is 3 AM to me. You were up. You didn't wake up for the 2 AM. Yeah, that was like the million day. Um no, I would wake. so it it was over the course of a year. So, there was some shifting but for the most part, I would sleep from like two or three in the afternoon

until like 10 or 11 PM, midnight even. And then- So close to being Jaco. Yeah. I had a very specific reason for it. I was trying to hit that gym and I love the gym being empty and completely to myself. Like I really focus and I can talk to myself. I can sing out loud. I like to jog and walk and jog walk and it looks weird because I'm like dance jog walking to like

70s, 80s pop music. I don't want to craft. Sometimes I genuinely like to take my shirt off and look at myself in the many mirrors, but I don't want people craft sometimes I genuinely like to take my shirt off and look at myself and the many mirrors But I don't want people to think I'm doing it for them. Like I don't I don't want them to see me I don't need them to see me. I'm just examining things Like but I look like a douchebag doing it obviously so I really wanted to have the gym completely And you didn't look like a douchebag with your shirt on which had like spaghetti straps It's went down to your belly. I never bought that like like thirst trap like Jim Bro gear.

I just had my I had take tops. But but but I never did. Although occasionally, like I'd wear like a cover up. And then like once I got a super pump, I'd like peel that bitch off to reveal the mountain that I was. So that was fun. That was what I was working out when when people were around though. You'd wear a fucking hoodie.

Yeah, yeah. Like one that probably Derek recommended, like yeah, burn an extra X amount of calories. So workout recommendations for my underwear or anything, but I would have taken them if he was like, you got to wear these. No more boxers. I'd have been like, all right, I'll throw them away. A cup for the bench press. Derek says so. We don't question. I had no questions when you looked like that. His resume is his body. It has to be. Yeah. Makes sense. What else could your resume be as a fitness expert? If you look like a schlub, no one's going to take you seriously. I don't know. I might be interested if you had some advanced degrees in biochemistry or maybe

you've had some sort of chemistry background behind your, your, your, you know, your, all your talk about supplements and such. You understood how, how the muscle fibers or, or, or the cells were actually reacting to things rather than just saying, yeah, you get up a good ball, watermelon juice. It's great. I could, you could break that down for me, why watermelon juice is great.

I might be more apt to buy your product or your service, but mostly it's, do you look good and do you look like you're going to have longevity? Because I don't wanna be like, Mark Coleman looks awful. I don't know if you've seen Mark Coleman recently, like first of all, he's still a gigantic human being compared to everyone else But I think his hips are ruined his knees are ruined. Maybe like like he doesn't get around well, it's it's something like that I um, you're not talking about Ron Coleman you mark Coleman the UFC for right. I'm talking about Ron Coleman the giant black guy

Yeah, yeah Okay, Ron Mark Coleman's a UFC fighter probably Kyle also knows Yeah, yeah. Okay. Ron Mark Coleman's a UFC fighter. Probably Kyle also knows. Well, Ronnie Coleman's also 61, like which is, Oh, I was going to ask you about the Mark Kerr. 100. Do you know about the Mark Kerr movie that's coming out?

The Smashing Machine. Yeah, it's called the Smashing Machine. Yeah, yeah. That was his nickname. And he was so Mark, Mark Kerr for people who don't know was a pride fighter. I'm going to say if it wasn't the 90s, it was the early 2000s. And he was one of the early best in the world MMA fighters. He was mean.

Like if you got a cut on your face, there's a 100% chance he's gonna put his thumb in it and twist it around and try to make it bigger. That's how he fought. He was a wrestler. And he started in 97 at Vali Tuto, World Vali Tuto wrestling. And it started in 97 at Valley Tuto, uh, world Valley Tuto championships. Uh, I think that's in Brazil. It doesn't say here, but

if the listeners don't know Valley today is like another word for MMA. Okay. I didn't know that. Uh, but I, I, I watched some of his shit there. He's a giant steroid freak. And so the rock can play him perfectly. He looks just like Mark Kerr. Zach, if you can find a picture of like the rock as mark her it like they did they put something got makeup on him And they put some hair on the rock which really looks weird. He doesn't like the rock really anymore You can almost not see him behind the makeup. Hmm I'm interested in it. I think there's a documentary called the smashing machine also, but I don't know if I saw sad

It's sad is you know, like the guy doesn't have like a happy win at the end kind of story. I think he's he's dead, right? Yeah, I think he's dead. Yeah. He when. Wow. So that's Mark. What is it? Right? The rock on the left. I don't even see the rock on the left.

Yeah, they did a good job. His nose, you know, you can see him in the nose, but yeah, they've really got the makeup done well on the rock there. They covered his tattoos up, obviously. Like the mouth is so good. Gave him hair, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I couldn't tell that was the rock at first until I looked at the mouth shape. It took Kyle saying they covered up his tattoos twice for me to process how just gone they are. That one, he's clearly the rock. I, he would fit in in public. Like you wouldn't say that's the rock. I don't know any of these people.

We're doing facial recognition. But look at his, just use your finger and cover up the top of his head. Look at his mouth. That that's the rocks mouth that's existing well they couldn't give him a did you use your finger to cover it up i squinted don't well let's stop you know those pictures on reddit where you squint and all of a sudden the pretty girls turn into a swastika yeah i've seen those where it's like a cheeseburger that becomes Hitler. They don't work for me. I have no vision.

All of those are so wasted on me. I tried so hard. Oh man, Zach, find us one of those that's fun and then I want to see if Kyle and I can discern it. Yeah, we won't foil what it actually is. We'll see if we can see the message behind the message. This subliminal image that's put there. I saw a cheeseburger picture on Twitter,

like just a delicious, because I see a lot of cooking content. And I saw like a big juicy cheeseburger, and I'm so trained that like when I saw the burger picture, I went, and I squinted to see what it was, but it was just a burger. So I felt like a retard, like scroll past it quickly. No one's even around but I'm embarrassed. Hmm Those are fun. It's like those magic I

Posters they put in doctors offices to distract you. Yeah, sometimes I couldn't get like I'd have a sense of urgency Where it's like they're gonna call me into the back with the dentist in like three minutes. I gotta figure it out. And then when you when you can't relax, you can't see it. And so then I would be like, fuck. All right, maybe mama let me sit stay for like five minutes after this appointment and I can I can see if there's like some other kids as the whale that could could just be a fucking liar. All right, I got it. I got it. What do you see here, buddy? Oh, wait a second. I see if I is it Jesus. I think that's either Jesus or Brad Pitt. I know Russell Brand. It's I think they're going for Jesus because of the long hair. But you could tell me it was some long

haired rock star and I believe it. I made it bigger. I can't do it. It's too small. It kind of looks like Tom Cruise in like a interview with a vampire even. It's, it's, it, the, the brow and the eyes are like Tom Cruise to me. That's the prettiest. Here's one thing I don't like about like the faith that I've been exposed to in my life. Jesus was always that pretty boy in church, you know? He was always that, that like blonde guy that's like way too pale to be Middle Eastern. It, that never watched with even eight year old me.

I was like, really? That guy? So we didn't have a blonde Jesus that I recall. It was like light brown, you know, but it should be like, he should be having, I have like a kinky Afro. He should look like a rough character. Two girls kissing and it says busty loons underneath.

Uh, well yeah, that's, that's definitely two girls kissing and, uh, it says, I don't know what it says. I'm tired of squinting, but it's definitely two girls squinting or kissing. Oh, well this one you can tell without squinting. Oh, all right. Right away. I know who that is. Yeah. Who's that Woody? Oh, it's Kanye, right? Yeah. I'm not going to tell you who it is. He's got so many. Is it Kanye again?

The two girls kissing look like two girls kissing without squinting to me. I don't see it here. It looks like Kanye again. That's Kanye. All right. Well, it's obviously Kanye. That's just barely not Kanye. What else would it be? Oh man.

Yeah. Oh, I love those eye tricks. I'm going to get really into that. I'm going to fill my whole house with those and lead people around on tours. What do you see here? Nothing? Of course, uncultured. I have double vision correcting glasses on right now.

I think that's making all the difference. Oh, that's so funny. So you can't see it. That's why. My whole, I guess I can't believe I'm nailing these fucking swish after swish. This is like a couple of years ago, but I had, uh, I had turned all the blue light off of my monitor, uh, because it's like, it's supposed to be, it was like, it's, it's, yeah. Like keeps you awake longer or something.

So I had turned all the blue light off on my monitor and I had scrolled somehow to a color blindness test. And so I was like going through and I'm like, I'm not colorblind, nailed it, nailed it. What the fuck? There are no numbers here. This is, this must be a trick. No numbers. Next. See it next. Where the trick question in the online color blindness test. And I was sitting here and I'm like, no, I can't be. There's a whole world of color I've never experienced.

I'm only learning now. I would have known this before now. And I like, it took me like two or three minutes of being like, oh, and then I turned the color correction off. And it's like, I'm only regular blind, not not color blind. That happened to me in high school. They were doing the color blindness test, right? And I didn't get one.

No, I'm not color blind. And it just took me a second to get it. That's the truth of it. But the teacher was like, oh, we got one. What about this? What about this? And he just wouldn't, I'm like, I'm not color blind. I pass these things. I go to the eye doctor, but he wouldn't. I'm like, I'm not colorblind. I passed these things.

I go to the eye doctor like, but he wouldn't let it go. And I was very embarrassed. And I got way more attention than I wanted. That's so funny. It's like I'm not colorblind. Look at me head to toe in Philadelphia. Flyers gray.

Bright orange. Is that what color they wear? Yeah, no. Orange. Yeah. Oh, right. I'm sorry. I was still on the gray in my mind Yeah, no sports teams tend to steer clear of great. It doesn't inspire a lot of Excitement I I saw some more twisters were touching down near your home the other day Taylor I got yeah, like like do you have tornado specific home insurance? Yeah, it's covered as part That would be a disaster. Yeah. One of the things that always like stresses me out

is I'll be watching disaster coverage where they go to the neighborhood and their homes destroyed behind them. They're like, did you have fire insurance? And they go, I hope so. It's like, oh, what are you, me too, dude. Why aren't you on the phone with State Farm? What are you doing talking to us?

Yeah. I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, I hope so. Me too, dude. Why aren't you on the phone with State Farm? What are you doing talking to us? Yeah. I mean, that would be ridiculous to not have tornado coverage in the Midwest. Like, it would be as absurd as having hurricane coverage. Like,

no, it's not going to make it here, but tornadoes all the time. On my phone yesterday, I got make it here, but tornadoes all the time. I was on my phone yesterday. I got a first text that was like severe, you know, a tornado spotted or tornado alert, you know, at here, here, here. I'm like, that's pretty, that's not in my neck of the woods. And then a little bit later, it got worse outside, far windier, like just, it was like 2 45 in the afternoon. And over the course of the 20 minute period, it looked like it was, you know, eight 45 at night outside. And that's usually a indicator it's going to get rough. And my, uh, I was cleaning my kitchen and I get an alert. That's like seek shelter immediately. And I was like, no, no, you're, don't you tell me what to do.

I'll know I'll have enough time to run in the basement. If it hits, like, do you think I'm a fucking, Oh, see? Yeah. Do you think I, you think I haven't been around the block? You think I'm like a transplant from fucking Sacramento first, first tornado season? And you didn't hear the tornado siren

cause that trans lady hadn't made it. Well, actually at, by that point, the tornado siren had been going pretty much non-stop for like 40 minutes in it. Yeah because it goes a lot and then it I like it. It's the Midwest in spring. I've never heard one in my life. Yeah. Yeah. And then they overlap where like one will play in another. And so there's like kind of a spooky harmony of it. And I actually like it. I'm like, oh, it's going to be a nice cozy day as long as I don't get fucking fucked up by the tornado.

And I, it is a little bit, it's a little alarming how much the trees are moving outside, but oh, that's a big one. And it seems fucked up. Like, I'll just not do that. But yeah, it was, it was that's a big one. And it seems fucked up. They used to be here. Yeah, it was, it was fine. I was right. I defeated the storm by just staying calm, cool and collected and saying, I am not. Going to move my X-Box to the basement.

It's not going to happen. Do you know what I would like to see? Pretty cool thing a long time ago. They, I forget who it was. Maybe it was Allstate. They're like, we're not selling hurricane insurance anymore. It's too expensive in New Jersey. So you're cut off and they passed a law. They're like, yeah, any company that refuses to sell hurricane insurance can no longer sell health

insurance, car insurance, home insurance, this insurance. Like you just have to leave the whole heck in state. And they're like, all right, we take it back. Yeah, they should. It's like, we'll, we'll sell you, uh, uh, Ontario wildfire insurance. He was like, no, you know, give me the one that I'm at risk of. Yeah. So yeah, tornado season's fun. As long as you're not the one getting sucked up, but it's, it's cool. Has anyone ever made a tornado proof suit and like gotten in the path of a

tornado? Got in that inflatable ball. proof suit and like gotten in the path of a tornado. Got in that inflatable ball. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like I remember the guy made, he made that bear proof suit and there's that great video of his buddies, like hitting him with baseball bats and swinging logs from ropes and him just falling down mountains and stuff in his bear proof suit. Like someone needs to do that, but I want it to have fins and stuff. I don't want you to secure yourself to the ground and just let it pass over I want it to draw you up like you're

Dorothy and go for a ride and then land. It should be like a wingsuit kind of thing. We need you we need hard armor we're gonna need you in a pod and then the pod needs to do this thing like where it has some I kind of like the bouncy ball idea like a giant bouncy ball might be the move but imagine you know uh an armored like I'm picturing some sort of cross between one of those bomb squad detonation suits and a wing suit right so you're protected in there but with mild flight abilities that's you're not gonna You're not protected in there. What? Well then, upgrade.

What is turned into an activity? And I like that. Yes. Now it's a fun thing. Now you see it coming and you're like, all right, fun day, Jackie, I'll be home maybe. If my suit works as you're clonking out of the house. I'm glad we've turned down the savvy.

Just standing in the front yard, jumping forges at a time. It's barely raining. Oh, I found the video. We could probably even show this. Um, so I think this is a Chinese guy. He's Asian anyway, but he got clouds sucked up to like 40 50 thousand feet Like a fucking icicle terrifying vortex sucks frozen paraglider five miles into the sky He definitely was higher than five about 28 thousand air during a flight over China He's just hanging from his little pair of wing.

And there are icicles coming off him like a comic book. Oh, I am so very cheery. Oh, my God. This is all. Oh, he's frozen. Look at his little face all frozen up. Poor guy. I hope he I guess he made it. The footage is here. Could have been. Yeah, he'll die from this, but he lived. I'm looking at him. The footage is here. Yeah. He'll die from this, but he lived. Absolutely nothing to descend. Like what kind of incompetent jackass is this guy? He's doing literally nothing but gaining altitude. Tell me. And he's not even trying. He's not waiting for

his life. He just sitting there taking what he gets. Yeah, you should at least try. Give it, give it an effort. Don't just hope that you don't go into space or whatever happens. That's what happens. You go, you go to space. He's float away. Yeah. It happens all the time. People float off in the space.

His hands are on the brakes, not pulling them. Like, I don't know. That would have been, now I'm no expert, but that would have been my first move. You think he's just freeing himself for the views. I see. I don't know. That would have been, now I'm no expert, but that would have been my first move. You think he's just freezed himself for the views, I see. I don't know. I wanted to check for stuff getting thrown in a tornado, kind of adding onto your idea of the suit, Kyle. And it looks like a tornado in 2017

threw several cows and a bull over a quarter mile and all of them survived. Yeah. How does that work? Was it like, did it pick them up eight feet off the ground? Like, it's because the story's wrong. It just it clearly is wrong because. How do they know that it picked them up and traveled them a quarter of a mile and a quarter of a mile and then sat them down and that it didn't just

spook them and they ran into a field a quarter of a mile, and then sat them down and that it didn't just spook them and they ran into a field a quarter of a mile away. Unless I see a video. The real story is tornado damages fence, cows escape. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because it could happen, I could imagine it. Is that JD Vance powering his way through a tornado? Bro, that's a space marine. That guy as big.

You should have said sorry or thank you. Thank you. Yeah, now I'm getting fooled. I don't know. I don't know if this YouTube short is actually a cow being thrown in the trade, but it might be. Use your discerning eye.

Yeah, I don't believe it. I've seen it pick up cows and throw them though. And I'm sure it could. Oh, it can do that. But I was like, there's no way they could live. Like you're going so fast and you're so high. It could, it could theoretically slow them down and sit them down nicely. If that makes sense the wind could it could You know like like it's just probably not gonna a weird stuff happens in tornadoes

We've seen those those images of wood being driven through brick, and it's like how does that have ever even happen that doesn't make sense But and people survived in bathtubs and all sorts of weird stuff has happened with tornadoes. It could sit something down gently It's just really unlikely that it's gonna do that cows are tough to like cows are tough is I've seen him get hit by cars, you know, they just get back up like like in the highway Like I've seen him get shot and take bullets and just get back up. They're they're huge tough I know you have a basement. Are they really common in your area? Everybody's got a basement.

Yeah. You think that's related to tornadoes? Probably. Yeah. Like that's the only trick they have for you is like go to your basement and go to the part. If your basement has windows, like mine does, like don't go to the window side, like go to the non- your basement has windows like mine does, like don't go to the window side,

like go to the non window side and sit there and be fucking bored for until the tornado goes away. Or you can be an alpha male, ignore the warnings and wait until shit gets real and then run downstairs. And that's like, it's like what I'm going to, like, I'm not that slow. I can beat the tour. Like someone else's house gonna get fucked up before mine I can move upwards of six miles an hour Yeah, and then if if I get slow if I'm really trying I'm cheesing my oblivion sneak score as I'm walking to the basement

Try and not die yeah that uh, it's a it's such a cool natural disaster I always I feel bad for buddy who gets fucked up by him every year. But you know, he's like paranoid about it and is overly safe and protective when it comes to shit like that. Cause that was, that was my, the women in my family, my whole life where it was just this overprotective, like my mom had 9-11 supplies in the basement. It's like, my, uh, my mom was more paranoid about it than my dad.

And so like, I do remember many times as a kid, like spring and summertime, my mom would be like, it's tornado. Like we all have to go down in the basement. And I never minded that as a kid because the unfinished area with no windows in the basement had our hockey net and stuff. And so we could just kind of play hockey for a while.

But my dad would like be clearly just playing along and being like, it's, it's fine. Fine. Like we could go upstairs at any point. Um, my grandma, and I wouldn't tell her, don't tell her this, anyone who knows my grandma and listens, but she'll text me when there's a tornado and be like, Tyler, there's a tornado right in your area. And I just saw another one touched down not too far from you. And I'm like, she's like, are you in the basement? You got supplies, you down there?

And I'm like, upstairs, I have, there's a fifth- In the tub, here's a bathtub. I got my little catwalk. And I've like, and my house is terrible for tornadoes because I've got skylights in every room. And so I'd be shattered and destroyed. It's sucking right out one of them. Dude, it sounds like D-Day when it hails here. Just ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba air popper in the kitchen. It feels like my windows are going to blow in. And I'm like, I'm not fucking going in the basement. It's fine.

I really liked the skylights. I, uh, my lake house, a really big skylight in the living room. And, uh, I, uh, when I first moved in, before I got my bed to like up into the loft where it ended up going, I would sleep under that skylight and every night, like the moon was shining through the trees. it was a really cool vibe. I like the skylights a lot. But although it does seem scary in a tornado, I don't. I don't know why it seems more. I don't think it's I don't think it's less safe than just a roof, but it does look that way. I will. It's not a wind hole. It's not

a wind thing that makes it more dangerous. It's that like branches and stuff. If it does fall in, it would get in more easily. And so I guess that's a little risk, but it's like, but the tree falls on my fucking house. Like I'm already in trouble regardless of how many skylights there are. Yeah. Bigger fish to fry is mine was plastic too. Some sort of plexiglass stuff. It wasn't glass, which would have been scary. I bet most of them are like that.

Like some sort of like, like they're, cause we've had like tornado season. We also get hail a lot and some of the hail will be fucking big. And a lot of it, uh, like quarter. It's pretty big. Okay. I've seen that. Yeah. Loud and loud. What I've never seen is like, yeah, if you, if you see a golf ball size one, it's like rare and it's like in a pile with a bunch of non golf ball sized ones. It's like, wow, this was a big boy. And like that makes a lot of noise on the skylights, makes it hard to watch TV upstairs.

Makes me think maybe this little childhood indignance of not going downstairs isn't even paying off at this point. Does it damage your car? The hell? Oh yeah. It'll fuck your car up. So I just, but I mean, I just leave it in the garage and it's fine. And it's such a hideous way to fuck up a car. You need a real talented guy to get all those dents out. I, I can remember

taking in a car at the auction and it had been the entire roof looked like you'd let kids on top with little ball peened hammers and they just put a dent next to every other dent like it was just covered with dents. And the only way to get that out is to have a guy who knows what he's doing, use a tool from the backside and massage those dents out and I got charges. Yeah, it's expensive. I had a coworker from Kentucky with the coolest hail story.

So she was young and therefore poor and the hail hit her car, this Ford Thunderbird. And it just, you know, little dents everywhere. So the insurance company comes out and they give her some money to have it fixed. And then in the Kentucky summer, I guess the heat and cooling cycle removed all the dents on their own.

And she got a check for repairs without having to get it repaired. What a deal. That's awesome. It wasn't this bad. That's a horrible case. That's like Edward James Olmos face of Hale. Oh, poor Edward James Olmos. Big shout out, friend of the show. Friend of the show. Captain Adama, he led the people all the way to Earth, you know, saved mankind. The ending of that show was cool. Yeah, yeah.

You mean the way the lore sort of wraps up and does its thing and explains things? Yeah, the cycle. Yeah. Sure, sure. I had my gripes with the final seasons of that show. It was like, is everyone a Cylon Who is it a fucking robot in disguise? God damn it. It seems like we all are there any humans left? I like that show there's a season where like the young hot tough guy like the main like white knight man

Gets like depressed and gains like 40 fucking pounds like Mac from it's always sunny I mean, it's like fuck happened? And it's between seasons. So like you end the season with him, like he's captain. He's literally a fighter pilot captain or some shit. And then the next season he is fat. He is fat. Do you think he got fat for the role or like? It'll like make up to me, but it's pretty effective enough.

Battlestar Galacta is on that Mount Rushmore of sci-fi properties to me I love love love it I um it got great reviews at the time but I don't think it never didn't really catch on I think it I think today it could be a big property the way something like Last of Us or I don't know if it was well cast I'd want non-famous actors to play the parts oh yes I agree, I agree. Yeah, I don't Where I was a dear Tom Holland in this in this fucking show like like this like I like Pedro Pascal too, but They're the the media is so saturated with those three actors in particular that when I see them in a movie. I'm like Maybe in a few years when I'm not as exhausted with Pedro Pascal being

on my TV continuously. He's the new Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic. He's in everything. He's just trying to capitalize while he can. I don't blame him. He cashed him checks, but I ain't going to watch. What else is he in other than Last of Us? I would need to bring up a list, but it's dozens and dozens of things since Game of Thrones. Okay. He's done lots and lots of movies. Has he been in the Marvel universe for a while or something like that? No, he's brand new. So they're so the Fantastic Four you may not know is is one of the OGs of like Marvel Comics. They're one of the earliest and most popular properties

from the old era, but they've completely dropped the ball every time they've tried to integrate them into the new Marvel thing or the Sony. I don't remember if it was Sony or Fox who had the rights for a while. They've done this twice before in both times. It was really bad. And so this is their third at bat on making the Fantastic Four a thing. And it looks like they'll probably do it this time. But I saw that one in theaters in like the early 2000s and it was trash.

I didn't like as the thing Michael. Yeah, Michael. Yes. Yeah. I think that one must have been one. Yeah. And then later on, it was the one that had like Kate Mara as the invisible woman. And the title was fan four stick. So they turned the four into the a trying to be like cool about it. And it made for stick. If I also didn't like how the stretchy guy outranked the clear coolest guy of the group, which is the fire guy.

Like that's objectively the smartest person in the world. And he would know the fire guy should be in charge. At least, at least, at least in title, he can be a behind the scenes vizier who makes the real decisions. But yeah, I remember watching it as a kid and be like, this is so fucking gay. Why is the stretch? So that was the human flame. That was Chris Evans who later became Captain America and big trade-up in the Marvel Universe big trade-up and then in the second one you I think you had a black flame guy I think they made him black which was weird and then I remember Kate Mara is in it and they did a bunch of reshoots so they stick a wig on her and the wig don't match and you can see it's like that's a

wig and the scene cuts back and forth and it's like Wicked no way wig no way every time they go a V Mar the pretty girl from the house of cards I've been spacey house of card. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. She's been a bunch of stuff. She was in I Like her in that Markie Mark movie. He's like a sniper or something like that Yeah, that's pretty good movie. I think it's just called Sniper. Is that called Shooter? Oh Shooter. Shooter I think. It's weird to me she's not a bigger star cause she's like, I think she acts well.

And I don't know. She's like the prettiest girl on earth. Yeah, it's very hot. Lately. She's definitely your body's, your body style. She's like thin and live. Live. Alive, yes.

And alive. That's all. Also alive. Optional. Yes. And alive. That's all. Also alive. Optional. I know what you said, but I thought it was like. Alive. Kinky. What was shooter was about? He was Marky Marky.

Just scope out potential assassination spots that an enemy might do and tell them if it was possible or not, because if he couldn't do it, no one on earth could. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was a sick movie. And then while he's in position, they actually kill the president or whoever, and they have him in this perfect frame job because they've been photographing him as he scouted out every possible location, as he like did at the range practicing to see if a shot could

be made a certain way. They have all that evidence against him and then he goes rogue and then just running around being just impossible badass sniper man. Just just feels like 20 Navy SEALs at that farmhouse at the end where it's like he's not that quick. They know where he is after a few shots. The best part is that at the end or toward the end, the bad guys are trying to negotiate. They're like, look, we bad guys are trying to negotiate. They're like, look,

how do we got off on the wrong foot here? He's like, you killed my dog. Not in my world. I already missed 9-11. This is my chance to make up for it. The accountant has a scene like that. Have you guys seen the accountant? Yeah, yeah, I've seen it.

Kyle, you might like it. It's not terrible. I've heard the accountant too is terrible, but I liked the accountant? Yeah, yeah, I've seen it. Kyle, you might like it. It's not terrible. I've heard the accountant too is terrible, but I liked the accountant one. And there's a farm scene where I guess he takes a liking to these two farmers and then they try to kill him. And he has like a parrot 50 cal that he shoulders and hits people with through a scope

and a moving vehicle and stuff like that. He's supposed to be him, that guy. I think he's at the farmhouse with the nice farmhouse couple, but then an assassin is using the farmhouse couple like threatening them to try and get to him and like coax him there and be like, hey, you guys invite him to the farmhouse,

he trusts you. And then they do. And then it's like a weird little car chase, but not a long car chase just on their property, if I recall. But like, I loved how clearly smart. I need to lay out the setup because the farmers are going under until Ben Affleck convinces them to lie

about a home office deduction. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that how- That's gonna keep them above water. You know what this farm's been in our family for 10 generations.

Well, Susan, there's nothing we can do if we can't come up with $172 to keep the farm. I don't know. I remember that. I'm so grateful they let him do target practice on the farm and then he just happens to be around when they try to assassinate them. I am so fucking glad you remembered that set up because I remember watching it and being like I'm the tax genius but I have a home office and it's not saving me enough to buy a 25 acre fucking beet farm. What are

these people are doing there? And they're like looking at it like he's it's framed as though it's it's written as though a first year writer who just paid their taxes for the first time wrote it. And it's framed as though like he's really dancing with the tax IRS devil by giving him this tip where he's like, man you make a bunch of chintzy bullshit at your house that you sell sometimes and she's like well yeah and he's like and what do you use to get the the dollar store ribbons to make your nonsense and she's like when I use the car and he's like do we now? And he's like on the kitchen table mostly and he's like, do we now? And he's like, on the kitchen table, mostly. And he's like, would you call this an office?

And she's like, never, not in a million years would. And then the husband's like, you dumb bitch, you say yes. And then they're like arguing over the square footage. Is the kitchen and she's like, maybe 15%. And he goes, maybe 25% rate that they were paying on every square foot of their farmhouse. I can't make sense of it. I just the lazy is like there is an answer for like he could have can't there's there's

a lot of like government grants state federal for farmers. Like if you know what you're doing, if you have a good representative, you can go and apply for those things. And all of a sudden they'll pick up 75% of a huge cost. Like if you need a well, it's like for some reason there are federal grants to help you drill your well. And it's a really good deal. Like you're dumb not to, well, I didn't need a well,

but they're giving them away. They're not the well places. You could have had something like that. Farmers are socialists who hate socialism. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, they do feed us all. Especially I didn't say that it was I said they were social. I saw a video the other day and I was like, I was like, Woody would not approve of this bullshit. It was in Ukraine. And

I think they were driving like some dead Ukrainian soldiers, like caskets through town or something. And everybody on the sidewalks and got on everybody on the sidewalks got on their knees. Everybody on the sidewalks got on their knees and knelt as the coffins moved fast. Now in their situation, I can kind of get on board with that. They died like 30 miles over that way, fighting for us. You know what I mean? In combat, to save your country, to to save you show some respect. Yeah, I get that it's I don't know. I wouldn't be kneeling in the streets of Atlanta if some some soldiers caskets went What would you do? Would you like give them finger guns like so some sign of respect? They've had enough of that

I probably I probably just just just nod or you know, I could even see taking my hat off or something But I'm not getting on my fucking knees, bro. Like what do you do? Die in combat, like protecting some oil well. It's just the idea that every helicopter repair man in the army is a hero for the rest of his life. Come on. They better have been good.

They better have been a Ben Affleck accountant style repair. And that's really what the accountant was. It was like, he's the most incredible accountant there's ever been. It's like, I fucking doubt it. Like, there's like 15 guys at the big four firms or whatever that can do exactly what this guy does, but who isn't rude to every single person every step of the way. Katie Mara or whatever is like, hey, do you want to have lunch and discuss findings? And he's like, no, I don't like you. That's what I liked about him. He says what I want to. I want to watch a movie about, they call the accountant, but it's this guy.

Oh, Jonah Hill and Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, dude, he rocks. I like Jonah Hill as an actor and pretty much everything he's in. 21 Jump Street is good. 21 Jump Street is hilarious. It's so much better than it has any right to be. Yeah, that's true.

That like, it's rare that like I watch it. And granted, it's been many years since I've seen it, but it was one of those movies where like a friend put it on just like a background, whatever movie. And I was like, actually like out loud laughing for much of it. Pretty good along those same lines. The other guys with Will Ferrell. Yeah, that I am a little exhausted of Will Ferrell, but YouTube has been feeding me other guys clips like, you know, called a big tuna and suddenly he outlines this story where the tutors kill the bears or something like that. I don't know. Yeah, I love his hat hot fucking wife that he's always like, he's like, babe, you're embarrassing me in front of my

friend as she's like bringing out a home cooked meal with a giant ass like a dad's. I'm just wondering why would my wife feed me a stewed dog's asshole? Why would she do such a thing? Yeah, that movie's full of, and I bet there's no way someone wrote that shit on paper. I gotta believe it's just Will Ferrell just ad living

and coming up with a lot of it. Cause like the whole Gator story is so good. He's like, sometimes I just, some some walking around money and I want to, I want to buy some shoes and I want to go to the people and I want to say, get it up, get it up, play those shit. You feel me? You feel me? He never been about that. He never not play no shit. And his wife is like, she's powering cause he's afraid of the gate of the pimp. The whole lion and the tuna thing, where he's like,

yeah, we got a taste for lion. All right, we got to, me and my school, we're coming for you. He built the scenario with the tuna, make like reverse Uber gear. Well, you lose that fight. You lose that fight, another time. Is that the movie, the dirty Mike and the

boys fucking in a place? That's good. Yeah. That's a very underrated movie that maybe it is the other guys also the one where the rock in the beginning is like aim for the bushes. Yeah. Sam Jackson jump off of a 12-story building onto asphalt. That's the last... I think that's the last Will Ferrell movie as far as date made that I've seen. I have no idea what that guy's been up to in the past... What is it? You know?

I say I'm not a Will Ferrell fan, but that Elf movie... That's classic. ...Snowball Fight makes me cry every day. Yeah. Elf is a classic Christmas movie. It's on the Mount Rushmore of Christmas movies for a lot of people. It's their go to. He's made a bunch of really good stuff and I like him when he's like plays a serious

character too. He can be kind of scary. And when he when he's serious. He's a big guy. What's he done serious? I remember there was one movie where he like, had a, his life was being narrated in his head and he was going insane through that. It was like, there was a narrator like, John did not care for the voice in his head.

It troubled him. He's like, stop! He walked over to the kitchen and poured himself a glass. He's like losing his mind over that. That one was pretty good. But I can't think of any where he's been like a creepy. You know what he would be good at? That movie and that TV show creep about that incredibly awkward man. Like the setup is always the same. This incredibly awkward man has hired a filmographer, videographer to come and document him.

And he's always got a good excuse. He's like, you know, when my dad passed, we didn't have anything to remember him by. And I have cancer. I've got eight good months left and then we don't even know after that. I wanna live this living memory, this record for my boys and my family.

I wanna tell them how it is. And I want them to be able to get one of these videos for every year of their life. When they turn 18, when they get their driver's license, when they graduate college, I want them to be a little bit of dad there in those moments. And they're like, of course sir.

But then he gets weird. Because we're off in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. He's paid us extra money to make the drive because he's sick or whatever. And it quickly becomes clear this man is a serial killer who wants to document him making the person feel awkward and then murdering them. He's making kill videos. He just paid you to film your own like death is what his gig is. It's crazy. And you watched both of those movies, didn't you? The movies and the the tv show There's a whole tv show where every episode is another four vilt. Uh, like like I watch it being murdered The one the one like there's one where like the chick gets naked. I was like she's gonna get naked

She got naked I liked her. She was yeah, that was the second movie. The first movie is the best of the Of them, but is this where he's he's a very creepy guy. What does he call it when he takes a bath? It's something it's like he's like, I just wanted to be tired. I'll be tired. It's just really, it was so unsettling. It's incredibly awkward and unsettling on the same lines. I saw the preview for a movie that I won't watch because because the previews

were so unsettling and upsetting and like like the reviews say, upsetting, unsettling, awkward as fuck. It's called Good Boy. And it's about this woman who meets like the man of her dreams. Dude has his life together. He's Prince Charming for all intents and purposes. He's got money. He's got looks. He's young. He's well spoken, like everything. Except he has a guy who lives at his house in a dog suit and we treat him as a dog and pet him. And just watching the preview, I was so creeped the fuck out. Because the dog suit, it is not a furry suit. It is more like a monster suit. It is incredibly upsetting to look at. Zach, if you can find a picture from Good Boy, like the picture of the man in the dog suit, and just the preview for that movie upset me. I was like, well, we're not watching that one. But if anybody out there is into that sort of thing, Good Boy is clearly going to be a...

Why wouldn't you watch it? You like that unsettling thing. That's too much. I do too. I could tell that was gonna be too much for me. I don't need that in my memory banks. You know, some movies I've watched and I'm like, ah, I wish we could delete that one. And I feel like this. Oh, yeah. I hate that. Yep. Don't like that. And you have to go along with it. You have to pet him too. That's what was, know I just watched the preview and it's you get this is it might look a little even almost funny but it is played incredibly serious and straight and it's it's upsetting. I think it's kind of cool he kisses okay. Well here I add it to the plex I'm sure this would be a great movie night with Jackie. honey, I know you want a new dog. Let me show you a film I found.

Is there any movement on the the dog front for you guys or you playing it slow? Playing it slow. Playing it slow. I think Jackie wanted a dog a few weeks ago and I was like, I don't think I'm down and she hasn't mentioned it since. We are watching my daughter's dog, Cedar, and he's sweet, but he just needs nonstop attention. We watch him three days a week while she's at work. And if you're not actively holding him, he barks.

And if you are actively holding him, he barks. And if you are actively holding him, he bites. Oh, that's a terrible combo. Did you not train him at all? I mean, he bites less now. He's such a handsome dog. He's like a small lab. He's a mix, but he looks like a chocolate lab, but a little bit smaller. And he's really, really sweet and he's super loving and energetic and he smells good for some reason. But, uh, um, he, the, the attention that he prefers is next level.

So that can be grading. When are you going to get a dog, Taylor? I don't know. Probably not in tornado season. Get sucked up out there. Oh yeah. Good point. Good point. When the sky's clear. I'll go through, the sky's clear. I'll look up. I don't know. I just, I'll go through phases similar to a lot of people where I'm like, man, a dog would be awesome. And then the next week I'll be like, I'm kind of glad I don't have a dog right now.

Like that would be a little annoying but at some point I will because I do love the little critters. They're great But I don't I don't think now's the time Although I'm about to start Hopefully doing some home renovation stuff and I had like adding a egress window and like basement and bedroom bathroom combo and maybe finish out the gym, maybe leave that unfinished, the gym portion of my basement. And I had a guy out today.

What's an egress window? It's like, it's a window that you can escape from in the event of a fire So like before they'll let you count a basement Bedroom and like bathroom towards or like finished area towards your square footage at least here It's like there has to be a way out of the house other than the stairs and so you have to add an egress window where like there's that little kind of Culvert thing cut out where you could like put a little ladder there. I think even legally there has to be like a little step stool near it so you can pop up up get out of there in case a fire started and that's going to be a fucking expensive ordeal

because it's like foundation work. Yeah except I wouldn't have it be ugly as shit like that. That looks terrible. Exposed metal. Dude this is a horror movie. That looks awful. Just Photoshop a woman in there. Damn it, Zach. You're terrible. Yeah, these. Yeah, I don't. I hate that too. That's like, that's my house.

Yeah, those. I don't like these. I would spring to get a nicer looking one with like the bricks or something or maybe that has a little bit of that. What are we escaping from? My God. You know, this is, this is a step up. Yeah, that one's definitely a step up.

Just in case the step up burning down above you so you can't if i were to sell the house i could not count that as a bedroom or as square footage the finished basement area because there's there's the only way out of my house is the stairs there has to be an egress addition to the stairs in addition to the stairs for me to count it and if i'm going to go through it i'll pay the extra however many thousand to do the egress thing. But I had a guy come over today, a guy who, you know, someone I'm close to said, this guy does good work. And he came over and we went in my basement. And I was like, so I want to add like a bedroom here. And you know, I don't want a little bathroom, like a half bath, I want a full bath, and I don't want a shitty shower. I want the full size shower.

And then, you know, can you make, you know, I'd rather move my upstairs office into the basement if I could just to free up another bedroom up here for space. And so, you know, if you can build that bedroom extra large cause I won't need this, you know, until I have like multiple kids in the future or some shit. So I can use it as an office in the meantime. And this area I'd like, you know,

potentially do like rolled rubber floor matting, like finish up the walls, make it a smaller gym area with drywall and ceiling and can lighting, whatever. And he was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he didn't put anything into his iPad. He wasn't adding up things. He was like, have you gotten any, what's your budget? And I'm like, what you think? You think I'm retarded? Like, I was like, I don't know. I'm still in the fact-finding phase of this.

Like, I'm not going to give him a number. And he's like, I can tell you it's going to be minimum $100,000 to do what you want to do. And I was like, that was when I pivoted to like, I'll be polite the remainder of this, but I'm not like a hundred thousand dollars. Like I've looked online enough of people doing stuff like this in my area to know it's expensive. If he would have said 50, if he would have said 60, even I would have been like, that's not that far off from stuff I'm seeing of similar projects.'d like done. Sure, if you want to get buried alive.

If you want to be buried alive, you want to die, brother, but not me. And they said a hundred thousand dollars. And then I was like, and he was like, and what are the other projects you wanted? I'm like, well, I wanted my flooring and my dining room and my kitchen torn out. And I wanted this new flooring put in. And then I want both of my bathrooms renovated because I want to move the shower here to a larger area, remove this tub demo and all this and that. And he's like, yeah, all this together. If we were to do it, bare minimum, I can tell you right now, $200,000. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, you email me. Yeah, I was like, I was like, it's like the whole point of this is to make the house nicer, more like, like, comfortable, like quality of life stuff. And also, so I get the money back when I sell

it eventually, like, right, you think I'm going to raise the value of your house? 100%. Yeah, it's not going to raise the value of my house, 200, $1,25 million, like, because you know, that's his like bare minimum thing. And it was like, and I talked to the person that recommended me, because he wanted me to keep him in touch. And I was like, uh, and I, I talked to the person that recommended me, uh, cause he wanted me to keep them in touch. And I was like, uh, I got a quote from your guy and he's like, Oh yeah, what, what'd he say? He's, he's pretty good. I'm like, minimum $200,000. And he was like, are you serious?

Oh, we work together sometimes. I had no, man, I'm charging peanuts for what I do compared to this guy. And so I was like, okay, yeah, I need to do a little more hunting and fact finding. But that was like, it was, it was so absurdly overpriced. It like took me aback. It took everything to not be rude and be like, get out of my house, please. Like, do you think I'm, do you think I'm retarded? Do you think I'm a fucking retarded person? I would go, oh, now I got the, oh, his arm is Midwest thing. We'd go, oh, look at the time. We'd guide him out of there. And then I'd say, we'll be in touch never to speak again. Yeah, that pissed me off. It's like, God, you've wasted my time and yours should have kept him here longer

spitefully. Like, I should have baked him a pie. We should have had coffee. I got an unsolicited call where they tried to tell me something on the phone and I was like, oh, yeah, that's a dude. I'm interested. Hold on a second. And then I put the phone in a drawer and started watching TV. See, that's good. That's some New Jersey etiquette that I need to learn as a midwestern because me, my version of rude is like, I didn't even offer him a second spin drift for the road. I didn't even give him a drink as I said goodbye. Yeah, that

was annoying as hell. $200,000. Are you doing what those attic guys did? Where you just go around all day and you're like, we just need one guy to agree to this. Yeah. Dude, it's got to be getting more expensive though with of the illegals getting scooped up off the work sites. Well, most of the stuff I'm looking at is like, I'm being very careful to only look at price examples from like within the last three to six months. And there's a lot of them, cause there's a lot of home renovation stuff. And so like the price comps I'm seeing online are in my area and it's posted

like, uh, like fucking like March third, 2025, like, and so it's not old. It's not like I'm looking at like, Hey, this guy in 2018 did it for this. Like it's new. So this guy, 100% was trying to take me for a fucking ride. And it's like, brother, $200,000 of renovations. Like, why would I want to lose money on my house? That's retarded.

Anyway, I of renovations. Like, why would I want to lose money on my house? That's retarded. Anyway, I saw the man in Tallahassee. I saw them in Tallahassee. ICE was like, taking all the workers off of a work site. They're all got like hard hats and high vis on and they're like got their knee in their back locking them up. It's like just everybody off the work site was gone. I can't imagine that's what most people thought was going to be the priority with the immigration process. Illegals? Illegals on work sites with hard hats. I think there's spitting tales of like,

illegals who were performing more crimes that were like pulling the country down, not necessarily renovating bathrooms. We were hoping we'd keep the taco trucks and the work crews and we'd lose the MS-13. No, no, I want all the illegals gone. I like taco trucks. Maybe someday we can invent something. It could even be a book where you put recipes in and then you could make things from the book

without having been there. I want Mooli Authentico tacos from a truck. I want an El Salvadorian in there cooking me up some food. With his head on a swivel, because he knows. I don't have any money in them. You can shake him down. I don't know, those tacos weren't so good. I might have to call ICE. swivel because he knows. You can shake him down. Oh, I don't know. Those tacos weren't so good. I might have to call ice. It's not true for one here.

Actually I'm a little low myself. You got a few bucks. That's what they'll do for today. I'll see you. You start shaking those guys down. Hope that's not happening. No, I do do Do like a nice talk. I haven't had it for a while. It's kind of a bad look, though, when they're dragging them off the work sites. I think a lot of people weren't thinking that was going to happen, at least this early in the process.

But then I also see like a lot of, I don't know, fake upsetness. I've seen a lot of ice raids where like everybody in the communities out in the street screaming like bloody murder and and that's not making things better it's like I don't know we've got three and a half more years of this though so I'm sure they'll get it it sorted out I heard Trump that you wanted the house were fake I think I didn't know no they were those like real outrage. But it was like the whole neighborhood was melting down

because one person was being taken. And it's always like they they took her even though she has a child. Equal opportunity to port her here, you know. And then I keep hearing about children getting deported. And every time I look into it, it's like, well, yeah, their mom has custody of them. She took the child with her. We didn't deport the kid. The kid is with, their mom has custody of them. She took the child with her. We didn't deport the kid. The kid is with her mom who has custody of the kid.

Like y'all didn't want to separate. Remember that was my, that's my favorite Tom Holman quote. So you're like, what do you do when there's a kid? Well, we could just deport them all. But for kids too, how about that? Every time I see him and Stephen Miller in particular, I get some evil vibes.

They're happy to be doing what they're doing and they're glad that you don't like it and they're going to rub it in a little bit. There's no like a P1 guy who loves his job. That's why like who was better to have in charge of where we start wars at some point in the prime? I mean, obviously a lot of people are in that, but like John Bolton, John Bolton loves war. You walk up to him in a bar and you go, what's your favorite war? You sit back and listen, because he's going to give you five hours of tales. And a lot of it's going to be like, and I wanted to start a boots on the ground war with Iran, but they wouldn't let me.

It's like, oh man, maybe someday, John, maybe someday. Yeah, that guy's such a fucking scumbag. I mean, you know, we're still, you know, I saw I was reading today. Israel has universal health care. Israel has free education. That hurts me a little bit, right? If we're helping a country that's poor and they're starving, I kind of get it. But when we're helping countries that have better care than we do, Israel should give us money. They're the ones with health care. Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen.

When I saw that... I agree. There are people who get free college education and free healthcare. And yet we send them all this money. And I mean, they're putting it to good use. Don't get me wrong. Dude, I, so I keep seeing videos of like a random person walking down the street and then they get hit with a missile. We had different versions of good use.

to get hit with a missile. We have different versions of good use. Well it depends you know the comment section claimed that person was carrying aid and it's like I don't know he had a sack and I noticed that after he blew up the sack blew up a couple more times that's a little weird. Yes it was full of explosive flour or something but what's wild is I've seen multiple videos like that, where it's just like one person walking down a street of rubble. It looks like something from a post-apocalyptic movie. It's incredible the level of destruction that's been wrought. It's crazy. Walking down a dirt road between the rubble piles and they hit him with a missile, like from a drone or a plane. I don't know, but it's a top down like, and he turns into a giant black cloud of death. It's like, how much did that cost?

Nothing for them. I thought those people were frugal. It's free for them. It's like, can you imagine how you'd behave at Dave and Buster's if you got an infinite swipe card? Oh my God, I'm being, I'm paying for people's stuff. I'm playing stupid ass games where I just am missing the button every time but it doesn't matter it's all house money that's what they're doing over there launch a rocket how much does it cost uh

zero for us hit him what's that guy doing he has fucking combat eggs he's carrying combat eggs back to that dangerous one footed child. Yeah. It's. Yeah. And then I saw that Greta Thunberg, uh, the, the, that little annoying climate change girl, she's like sailing to Palestine to bring them aid in a sailboat. Yeah. It would be such a pain in the ass to be so green that you have to sail everywhere Into on the rowboat

And I saw that a bunch of my things on a longboat getting you And the actor who was a boat getting you into town. And the actor who was a... Oh, fuck. The dude from Game of Thrones that got all his fingers chopped off. Oh, the Onion Knight. The Onion Knight, yeah. He's on the boat with her.

Because why not? Yeah. All right, we're trying to draw attention to this. We got Greta Thunberg. Isn't she the climate change girl? Yeah, but that shit don't play. Don't play. She's a Palestine girl now. And then who else do we got?

We got the onion knife. What year is it? Yeah, that's relevant. That's what I'm getting. Smuggling in fucking band-aid and he's like, there isn't much aid. As you can see, we came on a robot. I am so sorry. That makes sense. I like that connection now. He's smuggling in fucking Band-Aid and he's like, there isn't much aid. As you can see, we came on a rowboat.

I insisted we get one of those real gas boats, but this dumb bitch wouldn't let us. She's kind of the deciding factor. He's got two tons of rotten onions and the Israelis are just chopping his fingers off just because they're fans of the show. They don't want to miss a joke. I think Lindsay Graham tweeted something like these really have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever now.

And the idea was like sinking their boat. What? Murder Swedish kid? Yeah. Yeah. Is that what she is? Swedish? I'm guessing probably something like that.

Fine. German, German maybe. I don't know. I got that square face. Greta, Thunberg. I'm gonna look it up. It's one of those countries where you're allowed to be. Sweden. All right. I hear Greta, I think Sweden or fucking German. Thunberg. That sounded German to me, but I don't know why I guess. Yeah, but yeah, so when do they arrive with their

casks of ale and salted meats? It depends on the winds. They're hopeful that, but in a few fortnights they'll... Fair Lass, the gods are angry. They're being tossed about in the Mediterranean. She sailed back home with sailing La Vagabonde. Did you guys know that? No. Oh yeah, yeah. That's more of a vacation sail. I think she spoke here in Congress or something,

and then sailing La Vagabonde took her back to Europe. Ah, crikey, this bitch won't shut the fuck up a bit, it's something to do with coal. How dare I, I don't care. I'm on the ocean. I remember Riley came on our show, and he's like, why can't you throw a toaster at the bottom of the oven, ocean? And is he right? I think so. It creates a little ecosystem probably. A very big crab is happy to see it. Why is it worse to throw a toaster in

the bottom of the ocean than a landfill? I have no idea. It's not, I mean, unless it's like a million toasters, it's not gonna do anything. Even then we could spread them out. Make a toaster reef down there. Yeah, I have seen that. You can throw a bunch of certain kinds of trash and then they just build a reef around it. Yeah, like construction blocks, obviously, like I've seen them do that. That's not even really trash then. That's just concrete. Yeah, I think we should throw more things into the sea. Oh, I see no issue with toasters. We should probably recycle those.

I, you know, you know, we could throw a lot more stuff into the sea. If like the Philippines and Indonesia weren't taking up all the trash in the sea budget for the entire planet. I look, I saw like a graph and it's like in my head I thought it was like obviously China, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, they're not you know they're doing more than their fair share but like Philippines was insane. That's an archipelago nation and I guess just you just throw garbage directly into the sea. It's like it's trash day,

heave it into the ocean And that's the plan used to do that. That was how they got rid of their trash. That's what I was surfing in I've talked about it. Yeah, that sucks. Like don't litter don't be a little Littering is so easy to avoid Being a litter bug. They're just trying to survive down there in their third world archipelago nation Yeah, well don't well, there's like a's like 140 million people there and they're all littering like it's a contest. That's why I don't want to hear. That's why I hate the hypocrisy, the idea that we should be doing anything. What is it like I get maybe don't pour motor oil directly into the

street, but the paper straw bullshit, the fucking, all the restrictions on cars, the idea that the California had for getting rid of the motor vehicle by 2035, like everything going EV. They're in a lawsuit with the feds right now over that. They're like, no, you can't. You can't say your state doesn't have motor vehicles in 10 years and whatever, you know? Meanwhile, in like Sudan or something, there's like a tire fire the size of Delaware has like lore around it. I don't know exactly. You've heard of this and I don't know where it is. There's multiple fires that have been burning generationally.

There is a, um, I think in the maybe in Pennsylvania somewhere, there's a crack in the ground where there was coal under there and it's been burning like eternally for decades and decades. There's a tire fire like you said somewhere that I've seen that's been burning forever for tens of years or some shit. Tires don't take that long are they continually adding more tires? It's an ocean of them. There's so many when you see those tire fields, it's like something from a sci-fi movie If you look at the fire never goes out. Well, you're adding more tires woody. Oh, yeah There are these bicycle graveyards in china that it looks like you can't imagine It's just as far as the eye can see like in a cartoon or something. It's just old bicycles and old cars

It's crazy the amount of litter and trash and pollution. So I just don't want to hear it. If my car has a V8 or if I don't burn the exact kind of fuel that you want, I don't want to emissions are nonsense for us. Like you're going to have to when that gigantic portion of the global pollution is over there. I don't care about our 4% or whatever it is. Yeah. Are you sure America has 4% of emissions?

Oh, that's just a made up number. I know per capita we're the number one polluters. Like we get it done, but still. It's the biggest of trash. Top five biggest populations, does that sound right? And obviously India's one, China's two. But after that, Indonesia is bigger than America? No, no, we're three. We're three. Yeah.

It would be, right? Am I not? Three, wouldn't it be India, China, the United States, and then probably like Pakistan? Indonesia's behind us. Yeah, they've got 285, we got 347. Oh, Indonesia must be four then. We have- What did you say we had? We have 347, Indonesia's 285. Okay. Millions. That's closer than I expected.

That's a good bit. Talking about the like trash burning and everything, there's something in the St. Louis area called the West Lake Landfill and it's an active like mostly underground fire that's been active for years and years and years. And the reason like I guess the EPA is a little worried about it from time to time is that it's on the same site where in the 70s they illegally dumped a bunch of radioactive waste. And so like, I guess intermittently they come take a look and are like, the risk of nuclear problems is low to moderate. And then they go away. And sometimes if you're out in that area,

like it doesn't smell great. It's a ways from where I live, but it's like still technically St. Louis. So yeah, they just have a big fucking fire raging in a landfill, which can't be good for you. Yeah. West Lake. It's breached. Well, it's underground. I don't know how the fire is just burning like that. The bicycle graveyard is pretty than I expected. I, I, Kyle put a link in there. I'm looking at it You're telling me it's underground and I'm trying to reconcile Bicycle dumping site sort of lighting do they have in this place?

The amount of lumens required to light this up from a high ceiling to underground bunker Yeah, you know all those all those litter bugs in the 70s, the Westlake landfill. So that sucks. Oh, overall, as far as litter is concerned, I feel like the whole Western world has a pretty good handle on it. Like if someone litters around me, it's like, pick your fucking shit up, dude. Like, what are you doing?

Look at this and tell me that we should make sure our cars get their emissions done every every year. Like, tell are you doing? Look at this and tell me that we should make sure our cars get their emissions done every year. Like, tell me it matters. And one iota, when this is happening. Like, what are we talking about? It's just, if you wanna see the video, it's Kuwait City, you need to know about the blazing fire at the world's largest tire graveyard.

It's an ocean of burning tires. Oh, it's as far as the eye can see. it's as far as the eye can see. It's as far as the eye can see. Oh, well, how do we, or I guess how does Kuwait take care of this? I'm sure they're on top of it. I mean, well, they'll burn out eventually and then they'll sap up all the molten oil

and that's, I that's that seems like a responsible tire yard where they they won't all burn one after the other this was four years ago maybe it's finished now they didn't stop adding tires would he oh well they're not I don't think they're trying as hard as they can to put this fire out no tires that's so and rubber like that's one of those things that isn't great to burn even more than regular than regular trash. So I don't think that's that's that's not natural rubber. I think that's synthetic rubber that's made from petro

chemicals is how we get tires. I think we use oil to make tires. Because the actual rubber comes from a rubber tree in South America. The fire's out. Good. It's no longer burning. Glad they got their shit together. The tire crisis has been ongoing for over 30 years. Jesus Christ.

30 years. When was this written? Four years ago? So maybe they put it out very recently. 7 million fires were engulfed in flames. Obviously they meant to write tires there. Now I'm questioning the entire article on clean industries dot biz. Did, can I read this to you? It sounds like bullshit to me.

The tires were subjected to a process called pyrolysis in which materials are thermochemically treated by heating them to 450 degrees Celsius. You mean you burned them, right? In this process, the rubber in the tires was completely transformed into gas. Yeah, I see. The PR guy leaning back, cracking his knuckles.

Another day has the Kuwaiti type PR guru way to transform all of this solid into gaseous material via something known as transthermic energy transfer. OK. The whole thing's nonsense. The whole pollution thing, the global warming thing, I don't want to hear it. Like, it's not going to stop. We can't stop it. Don't recycle. Don't. Why? Why bother? Recycling comes out as a scam more and more every year.

It's not real. Recycling is not even real. It's a made up thing. They created a symbol to look like what recycling symbol looks like. That's what's on bottles and jugs. There's no real recycling. And in very rare cases, glass is recycled. Rare earth metals get recycled. Aluminum, probably.

I don't even know if aluminum does. There was a period of time where recycling plastics was profitable and they did it. And that period of time has come and gone. And I think they just throw it out now, put it in the landfill. It's like I separate my recyclables because they tell me to,

but there's only one trash truck coming around. Unless you're separating them too, which I have my suspicions they're not. Not, it's crazy. It's a big like public relations scheme scam of some kind. I bet there are people who pay more to recycle and then they just dumped it all in the same big hole outside of town, right?

That's where it's going. We should just start, like I grew up, we always had a burn pile where, I mean, we had trash service, but a lot of stuff got burned. Not only because I like, you know, I like starting fires and you know, 13 year old people are firebugs. So the opportunity to burn the trash is like, yeah, I'll take the trash out. Can I separate all the cardboard and the burnables and spray paint and have all the paint. I love starting those fires. Yeah. I never had a fire get out of hand. Um, ever. I never had like an, Oh shit, I fucked up moment. Obviously when we were dead house. Yeah. But you did that. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't you.

That was you did that. But I've never had one that I was solely responsible for, certainly not one that wasn't like that was a professional fire. We were working. That was a little different. But Scott did one time, I remember late, like we stole these chemicals from this factory and we just poured them in the road and set them alight. And they were almost impossible to get put out. And so the cars had to stop because there was a fire across the road and his dad was outside

screaming at us and his dad starts trying to put it out but he can't put it out either and that's making him mad because now cars are blowing their horns. Oh he beat the shit out of Scott. How old was Scott? Ah 14 probably 13, 14 something like that. I could take a 13 year old. Ah, 14 probably probably 13 14 something like that. Yeah. I could take a 13 year old. Yeah. I think I could take most 13 year olds, girls,

all the girls. Yeah. Yeah. All the girls speaking to girl fights. All right. So this weekend, Kayla Harrison is fighting. Giuliana, Giuliana Pena at one 30. Kayla's the enormous jacked blonde girl who looks like she's clearly on steroids. I saw a picture of her next to Marab. Marab's taking on Sean O'Malley for their rematch. He beat him last time so they're going for the 135 strap. I saw them together. Kayla's bigger. They both fight at 135

and Kayla is like a head above his shoulders bigger than Marab is. She is such a goddamn monster. We're going to find out at some point what that she's been cheating this whole time. I can't believe that she's not on something. She's got to be on something. She's impossibly big. She's super strong. Is that this weekend on Saturday? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we'll check that one out. I saw her on the like Natty or juice subreddit. That's a picture of her just looking way too big to be real. Jesus Christ, Zach, can you show that picture? That, oh man, what weight is that?

135? 135. Does she really look like that? Yeah. Or is that like, I saw a picture on her Instagram and it's a shot from behind. And so you see the back of her arm and how it connects to her back. It looks like a man. It looked like a man's musculature. It was so big and ripped and scary. I'd like to know her weights.

I'd like to know her lifts because she's impressive. I know she's wearing a sports bra type thing, but she looked like a man from the neck down in that picture. Can you bring it back? Taylor, look at this picture that's about to return. Neck down. I know sports bra, but that's a guy's physique. Like even the core strength, the arms, the traps. I agree. Yeah. The bicep, uh, deltasularity, the capped delts, right? The capped delts are giveaway to the steroid usage. Capped delts, by the way, means they're like they kind of stick out extra. They're bulbous. Looks like that's a show bra.

Like it's technically required that she wear that. Like she's replaced all breast tissue with pectoral muscle. I know that sports bras can make people with medium boobs look like they have none. Obviously, you can't hide human heads in there, but And so I'm guessing there she had no bra on it'd be more than zero, but not a lot more Mm-hmm. I'm looking at lots of photos of her like her whole career. She's essentially looked like this There's no like time when she didn't look like this Like like more or less there hasn't been some big leap forward.

She's just enormous. She is so big. I don't see how she loses. I know you can't pick the winner by looking at pictures of them. Yeah, you can. Bro. Yeah, you can.

You can tell right here, she's gonna win. The other thing, I mean, Juliana Pena's. I think she can beat Shevchenko. She's gonna win the other thing. I mean Julianne a pain go We'll see we'll see I'm gonna watch that fight. I'm more into that fight than I am the mirab and Sean O'Malley fight I got money on that one already. I'm Sean's gonna get whooped again Kayla's gonna win her fight. Maybe I'll see if I can do a what do you call it when you bet on all the fights together? Harley Harley Maybe I'll see if I can do a what do you call it when you bet on all the fights together? Parlay. Parlay. Let's find again.

See if I do a parlay over on ACR. You're allowed to do that in Georgia. Not in Georgia, but the website's in the Bahamas. So what other bets would you do? There's her, there's a Marab and just two. Let me see what the UFC card looks. looks it's not a good card i remember thinking that like the ufc doesn't do good cards anymore like i feel like this card that's headlined by uh omali and uh marab and then followed by kayla and uh payna those two should be slid down two fucking spots and i should have two better fights than either of those at the top. So it's like Kevin Gastelum is fighting like

is he even going to make weight fighting fighting a guy I don't know. And I can't believe he's only 33. I feel like I've been watching him for 15 years now. Agreed. And then people that I don't know, I don't know who Mario Bautista is. He's fighting patchy mix. Don't know him either. Vincent a Luke a okay the number 14th ranked fighter is fighting Kevin Holland who for some reason is still in the UFC. He's only 32 He's another one who's been around for like 15 years. It's just it I wouldn't pay for a card like this and I won't They have to put on better cards if they ever want a pay-per-view purchase out of me again or like shift to a new format like we were talking about last week where Netflix is footing the bill and we just get the things for free.

I'll pay for Netflix, but I'm not giving you $80 for a card like that. That's lame. I'll watch though. Well, that sucks. Sorry. Your guys' favorite sport is coming up short, delivering boring stuff. But you know what never comes up short? Lock and load, folks.

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there's a new Darktide DLC coming out at the end of the month. There's an Arbetees class they're adding, which is just Judge Dredd in the Warhammer universe. Darktide is like Vermintide, right? Yeah, that's the... I bought that. How often do you win a run? Like as a percentage? I haven't been playing it in a while, but almost every time, unless you're playing on the... you're like pushing your difficulty. Like so, last time I was playing it, I you're playing on the you're like pushing your difficulty like so last time I was playing it I would put it on the hardest difficulty your goal is farming like items that let you buy better weapons and upgrade your weapons and you get more of that the higher the difficulty so we're just kind of playing in a sweet spot where you can go through that

pretty quickly and get get that currency that's what I was doing last time I played it. But on the hardest difficulty, you really need a good team because you'd probably die if you're not super familiar with it half the time. I spent on Vermintide, we certainly did. On Vermintide, it was a real struggle to beat the game on the hardest difficulty. We probably only did it six or eight times. You'd have to have like, okay, your best group would need to be there. There couldn't be any slack. And then you still need to get lucky and you know, things need to go your way pretty hard.

Night rain game going. Yeah. Getting better at it. What makes you a good Elden ring player? Is it necessarily the same night rain is tapping into one of my biggest weaknesses which is navigation. It's, so three people run, it's Elden Ring kind of combined with Fortnite or something with the shrinking circles. So what you need to do is hit the areas that you expect to go away before the circle shrinks and you have to map and navigate and do that really efficiently. I'm pretty good at winning fights. Like that's the thing that I've been doing a lot, but the efficient mapping I could improve on a lot.

And by the way, the game hates you. Like the castles are fucking mazes. You don't know how to get there. I swear I've done complete laps around the castle and be like, how can all four sides have no door? Like, what did I just do wrong? Like, oh, there's an underground tunnel or this broken part is actually climbable.

That's how you get in. And so you have to quickly get as many kills as you can so that your character levels up so that by the end you're powerful enough to win. And that taps into one of my weaknesses, like knowing where I am and where to go. So that's the area that I've been working on most. I played maybe 36 hours before my first win. That's a lot of grinding to lose in a row, especially...

I don't usually like flex on my gaming skills, but like I play a lot of souls games. I've been the damn near full time games been out of week. I have like 65 hours in this game already. Right. So like, you should be competent at things you do that often. And to lose all the time was rough. I'm winning more. If I have 60 runs, I may have eight wins, something like that. And today I did three runs. I won once. That's like an amazing percentage. But how long does a run take?

I call it 40 to 60 minutes. I've had 90. So that's how much you like build up and you've got sort of like at risk of your time. Yeah. So if you lose, is it all over? Like you have to restart the entire run again or? Just like us. Pretty much. Your teammates can revive you. So it's like, if you get hit once,

it's not necessarily all over if your team's on point, but when your team goes down, and it's not uncommon for me to be the last one standing. You're like, I'm revving my teammates, they go down again. I'm like, oh my God, now it takes longer to rev them. I get them up and then they go down a third time and then I go down and it's all over. That's a pretty typical scenario

when I play with random people. I got mad at the game for some period of time. I didn't rage or be a dick about it or anything, but I'm like, this game hates its players. Like the circles closing. What was the first game that like shroud was really good at? Kyle played it a lot. PubG yet. Did that have lots of cliffs and stuff to navigate while the circle was closing? So the circle was random. It was, it was different every single time.

Occasionally you, the circle would be unfair especially when there were buildings and structures you might be in the second floor attic but you're in the circle so when the circle closes you've got to get out of the fucking house when the other guy just has to like move out it could occasionally fuck you over and what you're describing sounds like a best case scenario in my game. Oh, are you inside? You're adorable You know, I'm at the bottom of a 300 foot cliff with no scaling potential nearby Okay, that too and that was a risk you take though. I'm sorry to interrupt But but like you can imagine the scenario like they're up there and we're down here We don't know where the next circle is going to do exactly because it won't be dead center and get smaller again

It'll be offset And so they might have to come to us or we might have to come to them. There have been scenarios where we're all in a house like in a Western and they're the Indians having to run across an open field to us. You know, like that could happen. But what you're talking about sounds much more awful. I was I really think the game developers fumbled by not having in-game comms. You know, this game requires so much teamwork.

And you know, like if you're a spellcaster and I'm a melee character, I want to tell you, I just picked up a talisman that's good for you and worthless for me. And the game doesn't do a very good job. So I'm sitting there like putting a line on it, jumping upside down, spinning in circles, like hoping to attract your attention I play mostly with randoms because I like to be able to fire teammates, right? Like if I play with people who are perhaps fans of my live stream I don't have it in me to be like you don't have what it takes to play with me

But now I'm obligated to do it for like four hours another stream. You don't want to be a dick. Yeah You want somebody who's got some skill for something like that for sure like Those games and what I mean is like any game that's team-based and we're gonna have to do We're fighting the ai and we want to get to the end to beat this thing And deadweight sucks if you're actually trying and you're like spire in this thing to be the guy that can carry dead weight really well. And I'm not there yet. But yeah, you know, I, I just want to be that guy like, Oh, you can't beat this guy on my team. Nobody

loses. Like that's who I aspire to be. But a lot of that is just mapping well and taking people into enough dangerous but winnable situations, your character gets better throughout the run. So it's smart to run by this boss, ignore him for now. Maybe we'll come back, maybe we'll find another one. But in Elden Ring, if your character is weak and it takes you 20 minutes to beat that guy, that just means you're good. You beat this guy at level one. In this game, if it takes you 20 minutes to beat even a valuable boss, you're not getting as many runes per second as you should be. You should be taking on guys on your level. And that kind of mapping and just navigational intelligence is one of my weak spots,

so I'm working on it. I do dislike that when you're in even a story game and you don't know where to go. And like you open up the quest and it's like, go to a Leoan south of Bravo. There you will meet a man in the inn of the winking skeever. And it's like, I'm fucking here. I've talked to everyone twice. This Argonian lizard bitch is now mad at me because my personality is 28 out of 100.

And so when I talk to people, she's going, go away. I don't wish you to be here. And there's one spell in Skyrim and Oblivion that is great in theory, Woody. It's called clairvoyance and every character starts with it. And the whole point of it is you cast it and then like a glowing ball of light with a trail on it goes to the next objective. It sounds like something I'd never get rid of.

It's it. I leave it on my spell wheel also. And most of the time it works. But the times you need it most where you're like, I've been in this dungeon for a long time. And then you cast it and it will like, lead you to the final objective or just end at a wall or like a hidden door. And it's like, yeah, I'm looking for the button that opens this. And I did this apparently, the problem with Skyrim and Oblivion also is they both have the problem of you can get trapped looking for something not realizing that you are in the middle of a bug.

And so like I was in a dungeon being like the final quest of the thieves guild being like all right I'm in here I hit one of the buttons that should open that should half open these gates that I need to get to this final platform. And then I can shoot the arrow of extradition or whatever at towards this. It acts as a key to open this other thing. And I like, it's like, all right, I hit the one button. Now I need to find the second button. Oh, I found the second button, a few dungeons and places over. All right, hit that. And I go back. And both of them are still the only halfway open. And then not open all the way yet. And I'm like, I must have beefed up. Clearly I am in the wrong. And so I'm running around and I'm doing the same things

over and over trying to do it. And then finally after like probably 20 minutes, I look it up and I'm like, well, the final quest thieves guild gates won't open. And they're like, yeah, this is a very common bug where you hit the buttons and it says to hit the buttons again. But when you hit the buttons, it doesn't open the gate. What I did is just use my high acrobatics to jump on the ledge instead of doing the whole puzzle. And it was very embarrassing because my character has unbelievably high

acrobatics and I have a spell that increases it by a hundred and so my guys my guys fucking float out there and then I just cheated and jumped up to the level without it and it was like all right well that's fine. Imagine this scenario right so I'm playing the game the night rain is closing in I need to get up this giant cliff and the climbable cliffs are denoted as climbable there's like tombstones on the side and you just sort of crawl. You jump from one tiny little edge to the next and you got mountain climbs up. They go halfway up the cliff. I'm like from soft. I paid you for this. I even bought like the extra $15 for like future DLC. Why don't you like me?

Clearly hate your players. There's no comms. You have dead ends at your escape routes. Like why do you hate your player base? Yeah. You need comms. I need to be able to talk to like, like all the games. Yeah. Like, like one of the things I like about Helldivers and Dark Tide and maybe in Baldur's Gate to a much lesser extent is when your team all goes down, you play it right. You can from almost any circumstance, bring it back. Like there are these missions in Dark Tide where we have to stay here

and do this electronic puzzle and just absorb wave after wave 360 degrees around us. They're jumping from the ceilings and there's an ocean of enemies around us. And occasionally the specialists pop up in the middle of them and you got a sound cue and then you have 2.2 seconds to react exactly to that thing and kill it so that it doesn't net you or spit goo on you or blind you or tie you up in some way. And like, if you're good enough, you can just have this continuous motion of slashing, parrying, shoving and sniping

that you alone, and they all have to watch, it's like zombies or something, they're all watching you do this. And I've watched people do it and we're cheering. Yes, yes, we got the alt off, yes. It's big it's it's big. That's that's peak gaming for me when either I can do that or I

love watching a teammate do it. I like there's an item in this game called a winding grace. And if everybody goes down, you rise again. I collect every fucking winding grace I can when I play with randoms. It's like, Oh, does this boss have two phases? Fuck

you. I have with randoms. It's like, oh, does this boss have two phases? Fuck you, I have three. Yeah. And just when everything's gone, in my head, my teammates are going like, he got a Wendy Grace. Oh, we're back in it. You want to meet on the menu boys. And then, you know, we all go down again.

Two Wendy Graces. You know, like, ah, how many does he have? Little does he know, I've got 13, but this group is a two Wending Grace group. I think that's the end of this, friends. I'm gonna let you die. That's how I would be using it. I'd be like, oh, that's how I do potions in every game. Where like, every time I find a super valuable potion, I'm like, I could need this.

And then I finished the game with like 14 of those potions and I'm still not using them. And it's like any opportunity for you to use this is long past, like what are you doing? In Elden Ring, you can put a grease on your sword that gives it like fire or holy damage or magic or something. And I do the same thing. It's like, this is my retirement grease.

I'm saving this for later. I'm never using this. The one thing I hate a ton. Baldur's Gate's full of that. But I've played through it enough times where I'm like, especially when I'm playing with new people, I'm like, look. So we could save this until, I don't know, next, not this Thursday, but the Thursday after that. We could save it until then. Or we know, next, not this Thursday, but the Thursday after that,

we could save it until then. Or we could, hey, let's just throw it, those green guys over there. So I'm at the point where like, I don't save any of that shit. When we get the one time use fucking thing that you throw and a giant observer comes out and just goes ape shit on everything.

It's a giant eyeball with tentacles that have eyeballs and it looks at you and turns you into stone. It's like, let's throw it at the first people we see we don't like. I try to get that shit out of my pockets. Night Rain will train you to use that stuff. There's no tomorrow. There's no saving it.

You're not retiring. You're either gonna win this run or die. Don't die with anything in your pockets. The worst like experience I had as far as like a single player adventure game was the first time in like 2011 that I played Skyrim and I was playing like it was GTA where I'd go into Whiterun and they'd be like you're a new face in town be like, you're a new face in town here to do a quest for me. And I'd be like,

you're dead. And now I've got your fucking fur armor, fucking bitch. And then I'm like, go out and do other stuff. And the, he's like, I'm a simple blacksmith. Would you like me to work on your, would you like to look at my wares? And then it's like, you're dead. I was killing everyone in every city. And then over time, I'd get so many quests that were like, speak to Broom Hilda, the blacksmith and white run. And I'd go back and be like, is that that bitch? Oh, and I'd look up online, what do you do if that? And it's like, once you kill her that, oh, oh, they don't respond. Okay. And then like, that's

literally how my first ever playthrough of Skyrim ended is that I had 55, 60 active quests where I couldn't do any of them because everyone I'd either killed or I had attempted to kill them when they went into like fainting, exhausted mode. And then when they wake back up, they're mad at you. And so it'd be like, speak to the archmage of Winterhold. But every time I get even fucking close to that guy, he tries to kill me because I've killed, I've done a lot of fucked up shit to him. And there's no way for me to talk to the guards anymore because I'm so deep in the muck that like, there's no paying off my fine. Once you're fine is like 600,000 gold because you've killed every NPC in most

cities. I had to restart the whole game. My whole, My whole first playthrough of Skyrim was a failure because I robbed every blacksmith. I played Dark Souls 1 and it's almost interactive chat who's all played this game before tells me what to do and I'm like I don't know where to go. I don't know who my next boss is. What's our mission boys and they tell me and then I execute it but they don't always have my best interests in mind and sometimes they lie they're like woody coming up best chest in the game you gotta go here this is the fucking best chest in all of dark souls three and i'm like

what kind is it gonna be a talisman a weapon a, a suit of armor. Her boobs were huge, I'll admit. Best chest in Dark Souls 1. I'd be teaved. And then, you know, they had me kill her. I'm like, all right, you know, let's follow advice. Suddenly I can't like navigate it. All the lights are off. All these like warpable sites of grace

or healable sites of grace are broken. Like you guys really, you're not my friends, are you? You're sabotaging my, you're making this so much harder than it needs to be. Sometimes they help and sometimes they don't. All intentionally like cheese, whenever I'm low on money in like oblivion, I'll cheese conversations because something they have you do Woody is like there's a persuade bar. So if I'm supposed to go

talk to someone and it's like this person knows where you can find the secret of Akatosh and what dungeon it's in. Like and if you don't convince this person, you don't know where it is. You don't know what to do. And so you have to persuade them. And I will bribe them with thousands of dollars. And then eventually, if you only give them $200, they'll be like, I don't feel comfortable enough with you to tell you yet. And it's like, oh, fuck.

All right, I got to load them up with 800 more coins. And then he'll be like, ah, Akatosh, you seem like a friendly fellow. It's South of white run. And then you, then I just reload the save. And I'm like, all right, South of white run. I'm not paying this fucker anything. Wow. Wow. Oh, that's the scummy. I would never even consider. When I do that, it is funny though, like the way they'll be like, I'm not telling you anything. 50 gold. Get out of here. 100 gold. Fuck you. 300 gold. So the thing is, my wife's a cheating whore. She's been running around with Bill the blacksmith. Go check. Go over by Sunny Rise Inn. And they revert back right away. I went to some lady's house and she was like, I'm in debt from my father's debt. My father was a gambler and I'm in huge debt. A thousand

septums. Meanwhile, I've got $310,000 in my inventory. But my personality is so low because I really don't up my personality because the conversations are funny or they're rude to you. And one option was like, I'll go get your father's armor that you can pawn. And the other is like, I'll pay off your debt. And so I went, I got her armor and then came back and then chose to just pay off her debt for her. And she's like, oh, thank you. You truly are the savior of Kvatch. Now, you know, you can keep the armor. Keep it. You know, you've done so much for me. And then dialogue ends, you're still in her cabin, you've just saved her from sure death from vengeful bandits. And then you hit a again. And she's like, Who are you? Get out of here. It's like, oh, you fucking cunt.

I have to kill you. It's OK. And in Baldur's Gate, there's a scenario where you come upon this little gnome girl who's dying. She's been poisoned. And you have tons of options of what you can say to her. And one of them is like, those boots look nice. Steal the boots. And you just pull her boots off of her feet

while she wiggles and begs you to stop. Give her the boots. And they're good boots. Like you keep those boots the rest of the game. But then you like cure her poisoning. And she's like, oh, thank you so much. Is there anything I can do for you? I just robbed you.

Like I get I fixed the poison thing, but this isn't even now. I like I Like RPGs where if you fuck up and you make the wrong decision it does alter the whole game I don't want to break the game But I like that they're never going to see you the same way again because you you killed big Dave or whatever there's like there's a character called Damon and Baldur's Gate and you spend the entire first two acts like 80 hours interacting with his scumbag and he does nothing but belittle you and talk down to you and treat you like shit and he's nobody special

He's in no position to be to be casting aspersions But then by the end if you every step of the way if you just give him the Ted lasso treatment You just like win him over with kindness. Ah, I get that you hate and despise me, but I've saved your family. Don't worry, I won't rub it in. You want to take credit for it actually? If you just like continuously, you're overly nice to him. By the end, he's like, I love you so much. You've been so good to me. Let me give you a special spell. All right. Finally. Like the special spell. But usually I just kill him first thing. Cause he is a complete just piece of shit. I like that. I was watching a live streamer. So everyone's fussing that this game's impossible to win

with random half my wins in night rain. Half my wins are with randoms, but this guy's way better than me. And he's live streaming and he's teaching me about DTS Are you guys familiar with DTS is community thing dick sucking theory? So that means that you just Praise your teammates in game with whatever mechanism it gives you feed them good stuff feed them weapons And it makes them better followers like you win them over with And this guy is just like, here's a legendary weapon. I don't need it. Here's a talisman that fits your bill.

Here you go, here you go. And he has the most loyal followers in game. They're on his hip all night long, just like sucking up extra things that would help them. And I was like, DTS, all right, noted. I'm learning, I'm learning. There's a DST, All right noted. I'm learning. I'm learning. There's a DST. What I don't like is how like respect isn't transferable between quests and quest lines sometimes where like I will be the most respected

and accomplished assassin in the history of Cyrodiil and also the head of the thieves guild and Also closed a hundred oblivion gates Which is just going into hell slaying all the demons and closing it and then it's like I think I'll try the fighters guild now Which is effectively guys who like killed like they just minor brawls and you walk in and join and they're like all this one You're as green as spring grass Look at me and then look my head is on fire and you walk in and join and they're like, oh, this one, you're as green as spring grass. Look at me and then look at me. Do you not see my fucking statue? Do you not see how there's a how I've got like eight ghouls and goblins under my control who followed me into your little room? There's demons at my beck and. Like, you know, like, destroyer. I fuck this guy now.

Make this dream or a bend over and give it to me because that's how powerful I am. And he's like someone of your rank. Perhaps you can take care of this rat problem. You fucking bitch. Now I got to go kill rats in a basement or no, I have to go kill a fucking lion, a mountain lion in a basement and then watch some lady hide meat outside of a house. Meanwhile, 15 minutes earlier, I was killing the emperor. I know exactly.

I did exactly in that order too. I was also the head of the thieves guild and the assassins guild. And then I went to get the fighter and probably like most of the way through the mages. And I'm like, Jesus, my rat duty. I'm solving like neighborhood capers. The homeowners association of Bravo is who I'm working for at this point. I've been slaying dragons and ghouls and demons up until now. I went to hell.

Yeah. Yeah. That game is clearly dated by that. I think I'm hoping that like a game like GTA, I have such high hopes for GTA. I would love it if that was worked in, where if you're like the car thief of all car thieves, if you've gone through that whole quest line where you've stolen,

you've done the gone in 60 seconds route and done all that, that by the time you get over to the bank robbing scene, they're like, oh, that's Sammy Swift fingers, the greatest car thief of all time. Well, glad to have you. Hey, you're going to be driving us around? No, I'm going to. And you get those options. Like, I'd like to see that integrated in when you spend $2 billion on a game. But they probably won't. It'll be one of those things where it's like, you know how to drive one of these bro? And it's like, you pulled up on something twice as good. Do you mind if I leave my fucking Lamborghini out here while I take your Dodge Charger on this fetch quest? I saw that some of the villains were obviously at the police as a villain and a couple other groups, but ICE is also gonna be a main enemy,

the immigration and national- Oh, ICE, the immigration, okay, yeah. I'm gonna help him. Your girlfriend clearly has got some foreign- She got her back. What did you think of the trailer? I'm so into the trailer, I think it looks great. Wait, is it a gameplay trailer, or is it just,

I've seen cinematic, but not gameplay. There's a little gameplay, a lot of cutscene. Yeah, it's all like generated in-game though. I think it looks incredible. I mean, it doesn't seem like a huge warp forward from Red Dead to me. There are some scenes when I've seen them side by side

and it's like, man, Red Dead was ahead of its time. It looks almost this good. And I'm down with the storyline. I like that it's a dude and his ex-con girlfriend kind of taken over. It looks like there's and I'm down with the storyline. I like that. It's a dude and his ex con girlfriend Kind of taking over it looks like there's gonna be a fun like love romance scenario going on with them I'm super into it. I just didn't like those where I had to be like a black gangbanger It's like I don't relate to this guy even in the slightest Well, I didn't relate to the meth head guy either and Trevor but a little Trevor had

Yeah meth head guy either, Trevor, but a little Trevor had a, yeah, that's true. Maybe I've known some people like Trevor, but Trevor was the most fun in GTA five because he had the best voice lines by far. The black guys voice lines were always like being worried, like, oh, man, they're going to catch me. Oh, they're right on my tail. And Trevor's was more like, and there's more where that came from. Like that. And that was fun. The main guy, he was okay.

The, the kind of rich guy who you start with. I don't even remember his name and play when I saw you know, the other thing. You never played GTA five? No, I was not San Andreas either. The GTA is the only one I played not hit my bullseye It seemed like they were advertising that characters ass in 80% of the trailer and I get it She's banging. She's bangable, but she's a video game character Yeah, I it I don't buy games because the characters are attractive and oh man That's that dog whistle to the Asmongold crowd. Let them know this ain't no wake book bullshit we're gonna have some pretty ladies in here all right we're

gonna show some titties and ass that's what that's what i was getting from that vibe but not only that i thought i thought i saw uh screenshots that showed that they had prettied her up from the original trailers and made her less like of an uggo. That's one of the massive complaints from a huge segment of the online gaming crowd is that for some reason, there's a bunch of Ugos in the development community who want the, don't want girls prettier than them in their game. They wanna like copy paste their ugly asses and stick them in a game as some fantasy character

instead of what we really want, which is like badass, big bootied bitches. You know, I don't, look where I'm in a fancy realm. Show me some pretty people. God damn it. I got a goes everywhere around me. Every step I take, I'm surrounded by each rose fat, ugly people. OK, everywhere you walk and go in this world. I'm thinking of two, two trailers now.

One was the GTA six trailer, which to my memory was 80% closeups of this woman's butt and the way that it moved in like jiggle physics and her sway. She walked like a model. Like, I get it. I get it. She's a bangable video game character. The other was the Doom Slayer, not the recent one, but the rip and tear until it is done. That hit my bullseye. That made me want to play. This, like I'm not really into waifus or whatever fucking video game. Like I, yeah.

Yeah. I think that's people who like fuck pillows. Isn't that what a waifu is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now you're judging. But it's also, like you don't want to pretend to be that guy and, like, slip into his skin. You want to, like, operate and, like, do your thing.

Like, I don't think you like RPGs, period. I don't think that's ever been your cup of tea. Like, I like to pretend like I am Volgaar the Destroyer, and I'm not, my answers are the answers of Volgaar, because he grew up in the nightlands far away and he judges people harshly when they treat little people poorly. Like he's got a backstory that's driving him forward.

It's not me. Like I'm Bolgar now and I like getting into his shoes. So if like Bolgar has a wife, I wanna make sure Bolgar's wife's have because Bolgar is a good guy. Like I like that role playing stuff. And I like cut scenes. I like getting into it, feeling like I'm playing a movie.

I don't want it to be crazy with the cut scenes. Like there was that detective game Night. Heavy Rain, I think, is what it was called. Oh, yeah. And it was like a PlayStation movie where you press X every every 10 minutes to get to the next scene almost. It was like, man, this is a lot of cut scene. But in Baldur's Gate, like there's enough next scene almost. It was like, man, this is a lot of cut scene.

But in Baldur's Gate, like there's enough cut scene that, well, fuck, we gotta help these people. They need us. You know, like I get into that mode where my decisions are made about the narrative and like my role play in it rather than, I wanna kill that guy, he's ugly. Or he's got a cool sword.

There's plenty of characters and times in Baldur Baldur's Gate where like I know this guy has the best sword but he's a good guy let's let's not kill him I know we won't have a good sword but how can you kill it and like genuinely we won't kill the guy just because he's a cool guy even though killing him would make it stronger because you feel I I feel bad I yeah I'm not the same way in my games. If there's dialogue, if it wasn't for chat, I wouldn't listen to anything. It's like, you know, he's telling you what you need to do next. I don't have patience for that.

I have patience for wandering around lost for 90 minutes, but not for listening to this fuck toyed for 30 seconds. Yeah. I hate it so much. I dialogue I've never heard before. Skip, skip, skip, cut scenes I've never seen before. Skip, skip. Where's the part where I swing the sword? That's what I'm here for. Yeah, everything this guy says is gonna be in the quest log skips skips skips skips skips. I'll like I'm not that intense.

Like when I'm playing a new game, I kind of want to get a feel for the vibe. So like oblivion, I am, I don't wait for their delivery, but I read all of it. And because they talk so slow, like I'll read what they're saying and then go to the next thing and then read that and then go to the next thing. But if I've played, like if I played Skyrim again, I'm not stopping for any dialogue. I've played that game enough. I know exactly what's being said. And there's no cut scenes in those games.

So it's just dialogue or at least not that I remember. Maybe I'm wrong. No, there's no, no, I, I, I like the story. It makes me care more. You know, I want the good guys to win and the bad guys to lose or whatever. I definitely listened to all of it and read all of it. And there's, there's actual reading in Baldur's Gate, like in game books, you know, and you look Flipping through this fucking book. How long does it take to read it in-game book? So I never read the in-game pages, but some of the books are like 25 pages, you know and each so you're just You're really reading that yeah, there's it's an achievement How does it know in Oblivion and Skyrim, if you pick up a book, like the way it works

in that one is more me and Woody's speed in regard to books where like you pick it up and then it opens and then you can hit A to take it or B to put it back down. But all you have to do is open it and then if it's a skill book, you get the skill point from it. You don't have to read it. So like I read them because I because a lot of times it's plot points and it's like you'll read all the journals at the beginning of the cave. You learn the story of a wizard who actually turned himself into a giant spider matriarch queen or some shit. And then later in that

cave, you're going to run into a giant spider. And it's kind of cool if you read through his journals and saw him slowly losing his mind and his scribbling got more illegible as it went until he turned into a Spider-Man and lost his mind. So I don't know, I like reading them. The story in Baldur's Gate is just tremendous too. I think of it like a movie that I get to interact with. Like you said, Skyrim, I'm skipping through that shit. But GTA, there won't be a second of that dialogue

that all the cut scenes, like I wanna know what's going on. I wanna get into it if the character has a funny voice. I'll listen to him sometimes Because they have especially in oblivion When you say it's dated you're a hundred percent, right? Because a character will start talking to you and it'll sound like they're muffled and like super far away. And you look up online and it's like, yeah, that's because the fucking they messed up the recording studio by the time they figured it out. The guy was already home. And so we used like the one voice line. Have you heard the two take audio line? The girl? Yeah, it's like, well, you'll have to

go to the temple of Argetaph. And she the actress goes, I didn't like that one. Let me try that again. Well, you'll have to go to the temple of argothoth That's just what she says when you press it I can't believe they didn't catch that one I like that they didn't remove it for the remaster because they clearly Could have I suppose in some way but they didn't yeah, that is a great game. Like i'm still enjoying Oblivion we should play clear obscure. I that's going gonna be a game of the year this year. I downloaded it Like I have it on my Xbox I'm calling it here and I called it in May like soon as I picked that game up and played an hour of it

I was like this is a game of year This is this is clearly like incredible polish and just every everything that it checks every box of a wonderful amazing game It is one of those games where you you know, you got to listen to it There's a lot of listening and watching, with a lot of dialogue. I don't like too much listening, but I'm not turned off by turn-based combat. As long as it's sophisticated and it feels strategic,

I enjoy it. And we were talking about what we liked about pizza yesterday and I said that the sauce was the most important part to me. One of the things in gaming that's really risen up those ranks of like the core components of the game and what makes the game great, replayable and like sparkles, sparks joy is the music. Like if a game has good music,

I think that Doom has great music, especially Doom Eternal. I think that Darktide is incredible music. Like I would listen to that soundtrack. I would do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, I'm looking forward to seeing that game. I also like that it's a small kind of indie development team. I like seeing all the AAA studios eat shit these days as they fire people and replace them with AI and their soulless microtransaction money grabs and all of their. I love that. I love that they're eating shit. And I hope that we get more of those indie

studios making wonderful things. I can't wait to see what the next thing the Baldur's Gate three people make. Larian Studios. I know they're already on their next game. That's big, isn't it? What? Like the Baldur's Gate studio. I would imagine it would take a really big studio.

Oh, right. Didn't they have mostly outsourced contractors make it? I don't know about that. Altersgate studio, I would imagine it would take a really big studio. They were big. Oh, right. Didn't they have like mostly outsourced contractors make it? I don't know about that. I know it's Larian Studios and they're somewhere in Europe in one of those like Icelandic countries or something. But I think of it as a small sort of indie developer. I know some of those other ones are owned by Tencent, but I know the clear obscure game

also is like 30 something devs. Like there's a group picture of everyone who made the game and it's just like, there they are. That's everyone. Then you look at a game like GTA and it's an army of people. You would need to be in a helicopter to take everybody's picture, you know?

Yeah, I'm nearing the end of the oblivion phase, at least for now, but like Skyrim it seems very playable for a long time. And then maybe I'll do the Claire Obscurian or Obscura. Claire Obscura Expedition 33. It's on Game Pass. It's free to jump in and play. It's very unique in its gameplay. It mixes a few different combat styles together with beautiful graphics. They stole Robert Pattinson's face and it's got pretty girls in it. Everybody gets mad if you say the one girl is pretty because apparently she's 16 in the lore. Get out of my face. That's France. That's perfectly legal.

What's your name? That's true. Oh, I don't know her name. Search Claire Obscure of jailbait. There's a couple of girls, but she's the little one. But it's fine because she's actually a 3000 year old vampire No, no, she's definitely 16 or so scar across her nose. I Don't think so that you may be looking at the Asian character, but I'm not sure Yeah, that game is tremendous style highly recommend that one But what was I gonna say the oh whenever you get tired of oblivion if you want to play hell divers or

Dark tide or hell divers did not suck me in Hell divers or not hell divers dark tide. I'm a little more interested in dark tide dude held I so want I haven't been pushing it I wish one of you guys got into Elden ring. If you get stuck, you can summon me. I play 24 hours a day. I'm here for you. There's no story. I like the story. There is a year story.

You just have to dive deep to know what it is. They're making a movie out of Elden Ring now. Wait, given how much you play. You don't know the story. Yeah. If you were to take the quiz on the story, I think you'd do well. At least 15% on a quiz. Who the hell is Lord Scublock? Oh, that's the that's the guy I talk to every time and I have

to fight at the end after he betrays me. Okay. Elden Ring mess. Everyone knows me in names, right? There's like a millennia, a millennia. I can't even name them all. There's another one just like it. There's a Renala. There's a Rolana. They're different people. Why did you do this? Did you do this on purpose?

There's a Margart, Morgoth. There's a Margat. Like there are other letters, you fucks. It's like they're intentionally messing with me. It's an Asian game, right? I hope it's for your movie. Your movie is getting made by A24 Studios and they've got Alex Gardland directing.

Alex Gardland has done lots of stuff. Ex Machina and Annihilation come to mind as like my two favorite ones. So they're taking a real like, a tour swing at making this video game into a movie. It doesn't feel like knowing those two things, the director in the studio, or I don't think they're going to make a tour. Yes, I don't think they're going to be for the listeners.

What does that word mean? I think a real filmmaker is making this movie, not like a this isn't going to be a Prince of Persia sort of knockoff that loosely follows the source material and makes a popcorn action movie and doesn't respect the lore and the game. I don't know how much that will appeal to you, but I'm looking forward to the movie. I'm looking forward to it. I couldn't help but see it as a bit of a missed opportunity. Here's my take. Elden Ring dropped in 2022, game of the year, wildly popular, 30 million people played it. And then what, three years later, Night Rain drops just recently, a week ago, almost exactly.

If they had made that movie when they first saw that the game was a banger, when it got game of the year and had come out now and had that synergy with night rain dropping. I'd be so excited. Imagine if Memorial Day weekend night rain drops and a movie drops about Elden Ring and your whole world is this like Elden Ring's dominating the media as they advertise the movie and they advertise the game and the players are talking about it. Reddit's on fire. And that would be what they should have done instead an Elden Ring movies coming out in what 2027 I'm guessing yeah to go along with Elden Ring 2 like who's to say what they release in two years from now you

know like maybe you're selling it I hear you I didn't think that you want that king of all media Howard Stern presence which is which would be hard to coordinate, but it would be great. They say they're not doing an Elden Ring 2, however, they always lie. Like this studio will always tell you that you're not getting what you want. And then they do it, except jumps that go all the way up the cliff.

They don't do that. Okay. Nobody wants that in a team based game. But why is that? Is that that's this new thing where they don't want people to talk shit to each other. And it's, it's nonsense because they're going to do it no matter what. Um, I, I don't like, yeah, who is that for? It's, it's pussies who get bullied online.

Look in losers. You can't handle the bants online. Just turn your mic off. Turn like, turn your, like you don't have to listen to them. You can just select the option to not. But if you want to talk shit and have shit talked to you, that should be an option. It should be old style cod lobby rules where at any point you don't like it. You just mute everybody.

Exactly. They're not in your head. There's so many little micro things I want to tell people like, you know, Hey, I'm not leaving the team. I just need to make a six second detour to level up because I can't emphasize enough how much of a hurry you are in my current game. Every second is just in a hurry, hurry, hurry, go, go, go, go. And, uh, you know, I, you put a dot on the mat and I don't run to it.

Within three seconds, I'm like, oh, Jesus, it's one of them. No, no, no, I'm not one of them. I'm a very good follower. I'll be better if I take a six second detour and level up for before I get there. And there's a million things I wanna tell people. You know, like, let's go to the church.

We all agree the church is important because it gives you more health less. But on the way we could get some runes level up. I don't hate your idea of going to church, but let's not pass an opportunity to kill a boss. And without comms, you can't say these things. Yeah, frustrating. They kind of ruins it. It's like taking on a tiny fraction of because they'll act like, oh, this is to avoid harassment

and people being mean. And it's like, first of all, most people gaming are fine with that. They hear someone talking shit, they're going to have fun talking shit back. And if they don't, they'll, they'll mute on their own volition. Yeah. They'll do, they'll do it on their own. There's no reason to add a layer of complication to the already annoying communications you're going to have to do in any of these games. That is the dumbest

shit they've done in recent years is making it hard to talk to people while you're gaming because they're like, oh, well, actually it has to be a whole rigmaroo to talk on this game because one person used, because some people use slurs and it's like Oh my god If only the people playing this game based on murder and subterfuge were mature enough to hear slurs from another adult Come on. I yeah, you know, like let's say you go down When I have comms, I'll be like Taylor. I see you working on it. Mm-hmm now, you know, like it Yeah, if I'm not picking you up, it's because I have my hands full, right? I'm

well aware that you're witnessing my best effort. But without comms, you might just feel ignored. And you know, like, does this guy even know I'm down? Does he care? I'm down, you know, I'm gonna lose a level of you don't revive me like that stuff. What is kind of funny to me is the censorship in this game. They censor so many things in usernames that it's too much. For example, I play with Larry the Strong and I forget what his full username is

or maybe I don't even know it, but it seems to have like Larry the Knight with a K and it censors out the NIG. It's like dig, right? I play with scum, but in this game, his online name is S star star star. Cause you can't have gum in your name. Like half the players I play with have some like subset

of a slur, probably mostly intentional, certainly with those two but you can't write night with a K no yeah i don't like that i like games who are clearly like you do you boys you play rust you'll play with nigg slayer 69 all night and nobody nobody'll give him a hard time nobody cares Nobody cares. And like when you walk around the world in Rust, you will frequently find bases with swastikas on them, like crudely drawn photos depicting lynchings. Like anything you can imagine. Let people get it out online.

They'll have their furnace base called, there'll be a sign outside the furnace base that says Auschwitz. And it's just, you know, furnaces are burning non-stop smoke for it out like like people have no chill in that game one of the funniest things on like the internet shit-talking was done by South Park when it was that narrative of like those people who are trolling online and being mean and saying slurs and being racist and every ist they're actually miserable loser incels. They're so miserable in their day to day life.

And then it shows like Gerald Brufflovsky, where like he's a troll, he's a successful attorney, family man, and like every, he goes on the computer and is ruthless to people on social media. And then it shows him the next day and he's like, the birds are chirping, the sun is shining. He's walking with a little giddy up in his step. And it's like, oh, yeah, that's more realistic of it is like that guy's getting it out online.

And now he's he's going, good morning, postal worker. How are we doing, barista? Like, just being nice to everybody in real life but being a total just goon online bullying people which is very funny that you should be allowed to do that online. If you don't like it you can just mute it. Well you should yeah and they should be very easy to mute. If you're going to play a game where you're dependent on teammates and you can run into a scenario where there'll be bad teammates you should be used to that like that's just that's part of the the luck of the draw is that that's just what you get if you should be used to that. Like that's part of the luck of the draws.

That's just what you get. If you don't wanna deal with that, it's some friends. You know what I mean? Like- I don't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no. You have no excuse for it either. You have this vast like list of people who are like,

who would add themselves to it. That's what you should do. Take job interviews for your teammates. Like create a form with a chat gpt for them to fill that like experience like like we can list all the other dark it has occurred to me like i remember a while ago wings of redemption i think he was making a game battles team or a competitive team or something and he's like i don't want players who are good. I want players who are great. I want a guy who fucks the prom queen. That's who I'm looking for on my team.

Yeah, because me, I'm the prom, my username is prom queen. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

Please. Please. Please. But I was like, I, it has, the thing is I don't want to be a guy who needs a stack team to do well. Although I understand the temptation. I want to be a guy who needs a stack team to do well. Although I understand the temptation. I want to be the guy who is the stack team. So I'm just grinding until I get better and better.

The communication might be nice, though, to at least be like, hey, I want to peek. And I like it's nice that that to me is a big one. Like if you want, there are some games that don't have pause. But if I coordinate a bathroom break, we can we can do that. You know what I mean? It's like, all right, can y'all hold them right here and protect my body. I'll be back in 45 seconds. Like I like that. I like having, I don't like playing with randoms almost ever. Um, but I can't think of any games where randoms are better than just regular people. When I play hell divers though, maybe it's the matchmaking. I get

matched with gods of the game. I'm it's they'll be max level and they've got fucking flaming skulls. And it's like, all right, this is what I'm talking about. I never get stuck with noobs who and you can misplay that game in a way that would be frustrating for everybody. Never been anybody who trolled like that. It's a good community.

It's not my target, my target. I saw this guy play World of Warcraft like a long, long time ago, and they're like going in pre raid. And this guy's a support class. I don't I've never played World of Warcraft. So I don't really get it. But he's a support class. And he's talking mad shit, right? He's like, you know, they're like kind of coordinate, you do this, you do that. It's not the Leroy Jenkins thing. And I'll make it up.

He's like, nah, don't worry about it. Woody the Reviver's here. Nobody dies on my watch. And then they start playing. He's like, I see you, Kyle. Bam. You're fine. I see you, Taylor. Back on your feet. I got you. Nobody dies when Woody the Reviver's in the lobby. And I'm like, yeah, Nobody dies when Woody the Reviver's in the lobby. And I'm like, yeah, that guy's my hero. That's who I want to be. I want to be the guy that carries the weakest of teams to victory. That is my jam. Sadly, I'm still working on that.

It was 46 out of 50 doing that. I won one out of the last three. Okay. All right. I want one out of minus three. Okay, all right. But no, that's a good ratio though. Like of fun to rage. I feel like like the I would imagine the issue would be timing those wins at the end of the night because that's what you want to end on a good one.

You know, do you ever get in that situation where it's like, you know, we haven't won today. Really want to score one for the good guys before we go to sleep. I was grumpy at the start. Like I said, I think I was 35 hours or so before I got my first win, you know, just grinding with randoms who were also new to the game. And yeah, when I got my first win, it was nice. When I got my first win, it was nice. And then before that, I had some small victories that you could go in solo and accomplish some things,

unlock new characters and stuff. And I was like, all right, all right. So that's at least a taste of success when I had no teammates at all. Yeah, I haven't had a game to play really. I'm kind of looking forward to dark tide releasing that new character is is something to do. I think it's a 25th or so like couple weeks.

I think hell divers just did a thing where they the there's a big defense of Earth like Earth itself was fun was invaded which and the trailer for that is so good because it's that star Starship Troopers style like the the freest citizens in the entire empire those of super earth more equal than any other they've been threatened and read from their homes and you just seen earth being invaded with this fucking propaganda and the characters making a fist by his side like fucking Arnold. Like, I just like getting into the the gameplay of that one. Like I just Ivers, which it was it was dark and just not a very good looking game. Like it was one of those games where like the entire

all of the landscape felt the same. It was like, I'm going to jump over this charred, you know, red pit and run across this charred red pit. And then I'll jump quickly to get across this charred red pit. And then I'll look across the horizon of charred red pit. That's the kind of mass design that leaves Woody lost. I don't get it. They copy pasted this whole fucking game. I'm so lost. Woody, it's next to one of the 10 million black obelisks that are speckling across the landscape. I just didn't, it didn't suck. Different planets look completely different. And you know, you can fight against bugs, you can fight against robots with terminators, or you can fight against the Illuminate. And

they're all three very different. You you play on sprite sunny daytime planets or nighttime foggy like literally fog so it's like a Horror movie planet. I prefer sunny day planets. You can do that. There's sunny day planets There's planets with like fire tornadoes randomly like moving around and all sorts of shit like that going on Oh, is that a red dust planet? I Mean they've all got names. I don't I don't know. There's a bunch of planets. There's dozens of planets. But is it the one with the like jagged red rocks overlooking what looked to be your small meteorite strikes? Sure. There's a lot of that. What I like about it is that if you don't

like one meteorite strike, you can look around and there's tens of thousands of other ones that you can go check out and see if those are good. There's cities and towns to go into. You played the game for like 12 minutes. There's cities and towns. No, I played longer than that. Inructable environments. I played for a couple hours. I played with Scum when you left.

Well, he doesn't know how to play. He took you to the Red Depressing Planet. I didn't like. I didn't like the fucking red planet. So many times I'm like lost in a game and I'm like, give a brother a landmark, would you now even chat is like, give a brother a landmark, which this brother needs a landmark. I like a map. Please give me a game that you or something.

So I know I've been here before. This is where you and I agree completely. Like I don't ever want to be lost and frustrated. There's been times in Skyrim or in Oblivion even where I've been in this cave trying to find my way out for like a solid 10 minutes. And I'm like, you know what? I don't fucking care.

I just get off. I just get off because I'm so lost in this cave. I can't find my way out. It's like I've been in to same room eight fucking times. I've went left, middle and right. One of them isn't, none of them take me out? Like I'll get mad. Understandable.

Imagine adding that frustration to being genuinely navigationally tarted. And now you have me. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I love back in the day with Dead Space where you push the thumb stick down and it literally shows a magical electric blue glowing path to where you need to go.

This way it is. Yeah. Take that as a, I don't mean that as a difficulty modifier being lost. I don't mean to be on rails, but- You don't have to use it, but it's good to have in case you get turned around or something. Dead Space, I didn't ever it'd be on rails, but- But it's good to have in case you get turned around or something. Dead Space, I didn't ever find myself needing it because it does feel like you go from corridor

to corridor and it's pretty linear. I appreciate the one in Oblivion sometimes though, when it does work because it's like, oh, fuck, I'm in another randomly generated cavern. And there was one of of those, uh, like where Gandalf is sitting there and being like, I have no memory of this place. Cause there's five identical, uh, splits out of the same cavern and all of them have the same enemies and all of

them have a chest and all of them. And I'll be honest, I don't like puzzles. I don't like any puzzles in my games. Not even the easy ones where the answer key is just right up there on the wall. Like, why are you slowing me down for this? Oh my God. I can't like any puzzles in my games. Not even the easy ones where the answer key is just right up there on the wall. Why are you slowing me down for this? Oh my God. I can't count the number of times on original Skyrim that like I was playing on my shitty TV in my apartment in college and the puzzle was never the difficult part. But my TV's brightness couldn't go high enough to see what the symbol on the totem was.

And so I'd be like, ah, geez, that's as much a raven as it is a dragon. Like, there's no way for me to discern here. And so you're just guessing. I hate puzzles now as a streamer. I'm like, oh, an IQ test in front of one hundred and seventy five people. Some of them don't know I'm dumb. I'll find out the name. It's out.

Oh, I'm bad at them. I'm especially like some games have hard puzzles. I played. Oh, what's the game called? It was the one that was everything. Scorn. Oh my god. I never played that. Scorn is this fucked up biomechanical dark nightmare of a game where you just... It's incredible visuals. It's a beautiful game. It's disgustingly hideously awful. And it's nothing but one big puzzle. All you're doing is a gigantic puzzle. That's the whole game. It's just tinkering with things one after another, and there's no instructions. There's no dialogue.

There's no answer key up on the pillar. None of that. It's just hard as fuck. Some of those, uh, Tomb Raider games too, uh, can be kind of overly complicated. I just don't like puzzles at all. Even if I, don't, I don't feel rewarded when I complete them. I'm going to Google it and put it on my other monitor. Like, I'm not going to do your, do your puzzle. I hate them. I'm going to Google it and put it on my other monitor. Like I'm not going to do your, do your puzzle. I hate them. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. The Skyrim oblivion puzzles are not, and the problem with those is that the most difficult part of the puzzle isn't the puzzle because they're all easy. It's not knowing if you did it correctly, not because it was difficult,

but because they bug out constantly. And so you can have it set up correctly and then be like, I must've done something wrong. No, you did everything right and the game bugged. And so now you're just like twisting pillars for no reason. Be so buggy. Like you're talking about major property, like legendary games, like an oblivion, Skyrim,

and they have game breaking bugs in them. Oh yeah, all but those games dude. Dude I had to stop all the fallouts too. All the fallouts have game breaking bugs. One of the final quests for the fighters guild, I assume it's final because i'm getting fucking sick of this storyline, is you have to go with this guy as a follower to a dungeon or like a mystical dungeon or tomb crypt kind of thing then you have to fight your way through and solve a very easy puzzle which is just like it's not even a puzzle it's just running through a few different corridors killing everything collecting all the loot and then pressing a button but it's

like you have to run way far this way through a bunch of nonsense kill all the nonsense press the button and then run all the way back through here and then hit another button and there's a mechanic where sometimes you'll go into a room where there's these vents on the floor and it spouts poison and your guy will go, and he starts to lose health. And once you leave that room, the poison is supposed to stop. It's supposed to be a way to like, hey, hustle when you're in this area. You can't just hang out here. And I ran into a bug where like, every time I would run through it for the first time I'd be miles away, like, you know, comparatively, and I'm still,

and he's dying and I died. And the first time it happened, I'm like, man, I must, I must not have been going quick enough. And then after like two, the second time of that, I'm like, man, I must. I must not have been going quick enough. And then after like two, the second time of that, it's like, oh, this is clearly a bug because it's an impossibility to finish this with my guy coughing. I'm casting healing spells the whole time, coughing, trying to stay alive. And so I just left, said Fighters Guild is gay.

I'm going to finish these. Did the reason that's so unforgivable, like bugs happen. I get it. I'm bringing a bugger too. The thing is, like this game is still getting developed to some extent. They ported it to every console, new consoles, every handheld, every phone runs this thing. I'm not exaggerating. I saw the Skyrim opening scene running on a pregnancy test. Yeah, right. That still has gay baby breaking bugs in it. Oh, yeah. There are some huge bugs in Skyrim. They all do. They all look at all the Bethesda games fallout. I ran into it where it would be the worst is like the the yarl of white run will be like

we'll speak more about your quest to speak to the graybeards but first kill the dragon at Helgen and so then you run and you kill the dragon at Helgen and I guess if you do it too fast and you run back to him it's like the deed is done everything's been accomplished and he still back to him. It's like the deed is done. Everything's been accomplished. And he still talks to you like you haven't done it. And the only way to fix it is to redo the entire thing. And so you're redoing the same, not exciting, boring, beginning level quest because he can't get it. Oh, what's up, Murphy? Kyle's holding up Murphy right now for the listeners. He's a cute little fucker. I like Murphy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. Yeah. I don't know if he's dethroned Toby as Kyle's favorite, but Kyle's

got a great big gaming chair. He does. I have a regular office chair. Me too. I think mine's a lot like yours. I didn't see a reason to get a like office chair. Me too. I think mine's a lot like yours. I didn't see a reason to get a special chair. The office chairs are pretty nice. They're good. Kyle, you think I'd win more runs in Night Reign if I had a gaming chair like you? I doubt it. I mean, for me, I really want my forearm to be at the same level as my desk and my hand. Like that's the only thing that really does is that the you know the hand rests are like crazy adjustable up and

down and backwards and forwards and wiggle left and right. But no I don't think so. I like this chair because it's just comfortable and it's been a good one. It hasn't there's no like fucked up leather on it or anything. You lean back when you game though, which I wish I could do. I like every time I finish playing AOE or any game on my PC, I sit like an absolute goblin when I'm gaming, just meh. And so that I'll stand up and like go walk up and get a soda or something. I'm like, oh man, must have been a hard workout. And it's like, no, you would have felt the workout earlier. This is because you've just been like that meme of that guy all crumpled up gaming like this. I'm not good. I can't lean back in game. I need to get back here.

I feel active, like leaning back here. Relax. I don't think I've ever just leaned back doing this show comfortably. I have to be, I have to be seated forward. I think Woody's the same way. You have to be active and involved. My chair is also a recliner. Just the fucking casper jammers over there. It's a recliner over here. This thing goes all the way back. Does it go flat? Ever fuck on it? No, I feel like that would be a recipe for disaster. You know what it is on wheels.

It was almost flat. It was way back. Okay. Mine doesn't, I don't think. But yeah, I've always played, like, I used to game in bed. Like, I would just be sitting up in bed against a pile of pillows with my controller and my laptop sitting on the bed next to me. I sat on the edge of a couch, leaning forward and that hunched.

That's how I played COD. I've also got the monitors like close, like the monitors this far from my face. I don't need to, sometimes in Tarkov, I suppose, like when you're trying to spot like movement at a distance, I'll be like, motherfucker, motherfucker, where are you? I know you're in them trees, they're in them trees. Like I'll get intense about that,

but usually I don't need that high level of performance. I do the stupidest thing. And I know Taylor mocked it and I just stayed quiet I'm like I walk up to a doorway. I want to see who's about to ambush me. So I do one of these Alright so when I'm in the game when I'm playing Tarkov is when I'm most like connected with my character and fearful of anything bad happening. I Get I start getting shot at I'm ducking. I'm Like like I'm sprinting with my character. I'm you know, I'm you know w shifting and but I'm doing this I'm like if I go under a low Like like overhang fucking ducking for that too, And I definitely, when I'm leaning, like to peek a corner,

I'm leaning with my character. I'm plugged in 100% when I'm playing games like that. A heart rate monitor would be scary. My heart's going, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. My hands are sweating and the adrenaline's making them go numb. I'm literally shaking my hands out,

like slapping them together to get the blood flow. Tarkov, when you get shot by surprise, it feels like you got shot by surprise. It is so loud in my ear. It's a game where footsteps are really important. Information advantage is gigantic in Tarkov, so you turn your volume up and it's like silent. You may be listening for footsteps here and people,

you know, one guy who checked his ammo, you can like pull your magazine out or like get a vibe for it. And you just like listening for any clue as to where someone might be. And if you get headshotted out of the blue, bam, your screen, I don't know what happens on screen, but it's like assaulting, is it red?

And then your ears pop from the bang. And I can't not jump. I can't take that cool, Lee. I scream like a little girl. It is very high pitched. That's true. It is very intense. And it is not for, I'm not putting on a show

for anybody because when I'm by myself playing solo like my girlfriend will be like dead asleep 330 in the morning and I'm playing Tarkov and I'm grinding and and I'm just that's my Tarkov scream Fucking yes They come running they're here to back me up Pounds of them I And I think that's a good sign for when a game is like it's doing the right thing Tarkov What's that fucking weight on your shoulders of those look those losses can be so punishing? You know you you're 35 minutes in and you've got so much loot you've killed It's all gone well, and you're just getting close to the edge of the the extract and then just get ambushed by scab boss

Or like or some douchebag player or something god. It's upsetting my heart rate goes crazy Okay, you might not think it's a player like Most people are going to one or two extracts or you might be just headed to the same place and or douchebag player Nothing gets me going like that game like like I've had some rough losses in rust rust you you sort of You build up your supplies over over days So it's like a raid that lasts three days and then you'd be one big loss and like that's a different kind of feel That's like a ruin the rest of the night and I don't want to play anymore because you can't go back and play now. They took, they took all your toys away.

But, but in Tarkov it's those, you can get three or four of those a night. Those just punches in the gut of adrenaline and terror and hopefully a little joy mixed in. And there's, I don't think any other game gives me that the way Tarkov does. Poker poker because you know, that's, it's it's real money your hot streak still going did you i uh yeah i i lost maybe 80 um from where i was so but i'm still up like 720 or so nice um i i've been playing a couple hours every day usually i'll go up like 30 dollars and i'll get off or i'll go down 30 dollars now i'll get off i haven't like had any big swings like that one day. It was crazy. Everything was coming up Kyle

Yeah, all day. I played and just one one one one one kept doubling up But that I mean even when it's $60 or something my heart gets going for that I'm just yes. Yes We got it. I'm dead that and and Tarkov, but no other game really. I don't know what it is. I want the I need to have invested enough time grinding to get to a position that I fear losing that position. I see people playing platformers sometimes where you're

there's one where you push a rock up a mountain. I've ever seen that game. It's like a whole game is just trying to push a rock up a big boulder up the mountain and you're balancing the whole time. It wants to wiggle away from you. There's a great video of the guy. He finally gets it up to the top. He's like, yes.

Yes. And the games like you thought that was it and they zoom out to reveal that he's just You thought that was it and they zoom out to reveal that he's just one fiftieth of the way Real mountain is this Everest size thing that can you just can't imagine him ever beating like I Like games like that. I like I like where you spin the game building up your shit and then you lose it and it hurts like Trying to have my mood less centered around that day's success. Like today was good. I lost my first game. It was actually a bad one. Whatever. Second game. I won. Nice third game. I didn't win, but I carried right. My team went down so many times. I had so many

revives. I like even though we didn't beat the last boss, I was pretty happy with my own performance. And I but I want to be able to play poorly and still be like, yeah, that was fun. Call it a rap. I'm not there. And then part of it is between the time, you know, you're playing 30 minute games, right? 40 minute games.

So like not 30. Yeah, 40 to 60. Yeah, that's that's a different cycle to deal with obviously a game of you know Call of Duty domination you don't mind occasionally having shitty teammates that's a 10-minute loss yeah you play a game of zombies now becomes a two-hour loss you know if you're playing with shitty players yeah that's not a big part of it. If they don't play well, if they need reviving all the time. I can deal with that. If they don't play as a team, then I start disliking them personally.

Oh, yeah. Don't run off in your own direction to where I can't help you or whatever. Like, yeah, that's not. Yeah. Yeah, definitely hate that. Yeah. I'm trying to think what what games are. I mean, zombies used to be the one zombies used to be the one where you did. I didn't mind if somebody was just absolute shit at it. So, you know, like as long as you're having fun, I'm having fun, but I don't

mind that you go down twice around like, I mean, and you never have perks. But, you know, if you're having fun, I think the new zombies is just so far from what we used to play that we wouldn't even enjoy it. I think I saw like there were some game, some gameplay changes, like something about there being ammo, there was like never ending ammo or never ending pickups or something like that.

It just sort of like changed what zombies was about. I can't remember what I saw that upset me so much about it, but I hated all the Easter eggs, like where it'd be like, it would be quote unquote puzzles, but they weren't puzzles. Like a puzzle is something that you can deduce based on the provided information. That's what a puzzle is. It's not a puzzle. If it's like step one of the puzzle, click A on this random sconce in the living room.

And it's like, okay, and from there, what do we do? From there, you must walk to the giant robot foot and notice a papaya out of place, but still gray. And it's like, oh my God, this isn't a fucking puzzle. This is just random stuff that you hit A on. Like, I hated that. This is Google how to do it stuff. And some of it gets pretty mandatory. Like this is how you turn on the thing, the power power up jukebox or whatever

with a perk machine, whatever. And it's like core fundamental gameplay. I'm supposed to do this silliness. Yeah. Like originally it was like, how do we turn on the power? Well, you see that area labeled power, you have to fight your way through that and then pull the lever and now the power's on. And say, okay, well, that's how it should be. Like it shouldn't be a song and dance where you have to pause and then look up, oh, guys on this map, the way you get the power is if two of us at the same time are on platform A, one person is on platform C and the other person while keeping two zombies alive because they wanted to circumvent the normal crawler rule

hits this and it's like, oh my God, this isn't fun anymore. I think you can pause now too. I'm almost positive that you can just pause the game and multiplayer. I think you can, yeah. Which is- Multiplayer.

That's interesting. And they should. They should have added that forever ago. Maybe maybe they did. Maybe that was even when we were still playing, you could pause because there were so many times when you'd get a crawler so someone could go get a drink or go to the bathroom. We really need a way to just pause this for a second. Yeah, that wasn't around on the original zombies or even like the two subsequent versions of

it. Like you just had to hope. And then sometimes in the later versions, the crawlers would just die. Like they just pass away without you shooting them again. And it'd be like, Ted, are you back? Because it's getting real. Like, oh no.

He just loves the thunder gun. Poorly done most of the time. Like for starters, they actively went out of their way to stop you from kiting. But the game is about kiting. So now you just have to kite in areas that you struggle to kite, create a lot of dead ends, stuff like that. And then one area would be okay for kiting, but there's four of you, right? Yeah.

So the most selfish person gets the good area with the kites well, and he thinks he's an amazing player, but really he's just the most selfish fuck shit in the game. Well, the rest of you are kiting across lava and jumping up and down and dealing with dead ends, shooting your way out and selfish head is like, get good. And it's like, you know what you're doing. We would just give the worst player that when we would play multi-play is like, all right, who gets the top platform at Ascension, which is the easiest kiting area in all of zombies. And they'd be like, all right, who gets the top platform at Ascension, which is the easiest kiting area in all of zombies. And they'll be like, all right, well, who's the fucking worst?

And then if the guy who's running top Ascension dies, it's like, are you even paying, are you, are you, what are you doing? Like figure it out. Hang on, I'll come get you. I'm in the basement. It'll take me a minute because, really because I'm jumping over water down here. So it'll take me a minute because really because I'm jumping over water down

here so it'll take me a while. My kite path involves me double jumping over burnout cars in a swamp and I haven't gone down yet. Right. I like that style of gameplay though. I like hoard games. If zombies didn't hate its player then there'd be like four kiting areas that were roughly equivalent or maybe, you know, people would disagree on which one was the most fun or which one was the best, but that's not what their maps ever were. It was always there's one half decent spot and everyone else fuck you. Yeah, it was a mistake for sure. In later games, the one that I was playing last, we were like in it.

There was like city blocks and zip lines above them and it seemed like you cut anywhere in that game It was it was big and wide open once you unlocked everything that everybody could have a huge like city block to themselves almost But but my main complaint of that game was it's stupid easy like this is That we did nobody ever died. We never lost zombies. We got tired and went to bed. Interest in zombies. Yeah. We lost interest in zombies. We would just, we were like, all right,

we all want to like try to hold this bedroom and just let them keep coming to us until we die and then call it a night. Cause if we just play the game straight, we're going to go to level 150 before somebody makes an error. That's how Dare Rice and Ascension were. Those two maps. I played, you could leave.

You could like evacuate and get away. Yeah, you can evacuate and win. I never liked that as a mechanic. It's like the whole point of this is to grind up and event and like to kind of know it's unwinnable, like the idea that you could speed run zombies and be like by level 17, you're out if you do this. It's like, okay, well now you've like optimized something where the whole point is the grind, like to see how far you can get until you do die. Maybe I'm wrong. I remember that you could keep going. There were just off ramps.

That was the deal. Yeah. Yeah. But it would be like, you could win with that. But I, I guess you're like, no off ramps play my way. Why can't I play my way? You got to just grind. I didn't take it off ramp until exit 120. Like, holy smokes. I took exit five. Well done. Like I would get to crazy high levels. I remember like in college, I would have my Xbox running and I'd play Ascension or Dyrice, one of those maps. And those ones, if you know what you're doing at all, and you know how to conserve ammo and use the traps,

you can just go indefinitely until like you run out of like life. And I would get to whatever high level, and then I'd pause it, and then I'd go to bed, and I'd wake up and go to class. And then if there's nothing else going on that day, come back home, play some more. And most of the time, the way it would end is like you come home from class one day and

it's like, ah, rats, the Xbox overheated. Well, I guess this is all she wrote. I guess I got to get back to level fucking 87 again. It's going to take forever. Because at that point, it was annoying when it got to the point that like nothing killed them other than the special wipe gun like even the ray gun wouldn't kill them anymore just the like the thunder gun or the ones that are it's baked into the cake that it's a one shot which is embarrassing for

a horde type game you should add more and more enemies you shouldn't turn them into these absurd bullet sponges certainly not the like standard type a zombie Yes, just a world war two soldier who's been turned He should never get to the point of having three four or five headshots to take him down much less like just Drilling into his face, you know content entire magazines to the thin the hurt a little they should all have a cap and you should add Specials that that's what I like about Darktide is the specials who come in, the net guy, the shotgun guy, all those things that can pin, disable, slow,

and mess up your team play. Those are the things that add difficulty. And then the bosses, like in the middle of Darktide, you'll have all that. You'll have the huge horde. You'll have specials who are constantly popping up. Every time with a sound cue that is unique to their type,

by the way, the guy with the flame thrower, he plays a grill starting click, click, click, click. And you can hear it over all of the screaming and the hardcore metal music. You hear it no matter what, perfectly directionally. You could turn and react and then mixed in with that will be a boss. It'll be a giant slug monster with tentacles

and one guy needs to go, who's got him? And you've got one character who's juggling a giant slug monster by himself while everybody else is one guy's on specials and one guy's clearing the horde with fire. And it's just that team synergy feels good. And when everybody knows their role, that feels good too. It feels like you're an actual unit who's working together to do this thing, not just a bunch of button mashers running around with their heads cut off. Sure. I like survival games. Like when you've got to make your spear out of sticks and don't not Minecraft.

Have you heard of Ark? Yeah, but I don't know what it is. It's a survival game where you're washed up on a beach and you have to like build a spear and build. I guess eventually you can get to the point where you're like building mech suits and shit on this island. But it enticed me. I got it because it was, I believe it was free on Game Pass and I played it for a little

bit and it was just, it didn't fully suck me in. But I have nothing against the survival genre. I just haven't found one off the top of my head I can remember that really, really sucked me in. Is there one you're thinking of? Well, like it's Rust. Rust. Rust. Rust. I thought that was more like Tarkov. You can play it however you want. The core, the way a Rust game starts though, is you're naked on a beach with a rock and a torch, and you go from there, and you,

there's a lot of survival. I mean, if you play on an unpopulated server, or a role play server, which I find fun, it's more of a survival game than a continuous race of arms and combat. And the main thing is you, if you really wanna to play Rust, I feel like you need to play in the level where there's 250 people on a small server and they want to ruin your day and you want to ruin their day.

But that's high level Rust and I'm not, I'm not up for that. The basics of Rust is a survival game where you need to cook and hunt for food and where, you know, you, you might be wearing fur Capes and stuff and there's fishing and spear fishing and scuba and stuff to explore There's in-game puzzles that aren't annoying, but they are rewarding Yeah, it's more like like collect all these like keys and then go to the mountain and and kill the AI The AI is fun to fight, but I do always Over the top always opt out of survival mode in Skyrim.

Hmm. Which I like it. There's a way you can do Skyrim where it's like your character needs sleep and gets hungry and gets thirsty. And I think catches diseases more easily. Maybe a couple additional, uh, difficult things. Yeah. Fallout has that too.

I just don't like that. Like when I'm grinding and like I'm playing Fallout has that too. I just don't like that. When I'm grinding and I'm playing Fallout 4 and I'm really focused on getting my level enough so I can get my next Rifleman star or whatever, I don't want to be worried about, all right, how do I balance out the amount of radiation I get from this spam with how much I'm dying of hunger right now. As annoying as that is, like in Tarkov, you'll be deep into a mission, 30, 35 minutes, and you'll get shot in the stomach badly, where it blacks out your stomach,

and blacking out means like it doesn't work anymore. The little diagram, it shows danger, yeah. You'll do surgery and get your stomach back, but during that brief period where you had no stomach, your hydration and your energy levels, your stomach back, but during that brief period where you had no stomach, your hydration and your energy levels, your food levels, rapidly shrink to zero. So now you're dehydrated and hungry,

and those effects are incredibly punishing. Your character is slowly dying of dehydration and he can't sprint anymore. And you're just walking around carrying a million dollars worth of goodies and the skulls of your enemies, looking for a bottle of water or some applesauce. I think you're coughing and like you're attracting attention with audio. You're hacking and coughing and everyone can hear you in the woods. Hey, there's an injured idiot. I bet he might have something nice. Let's take a look. And Rust does

that too. Like when you're trying to get a group ready to go to a raid when you've got four or five six teammates like all right let's all get dressed everybody get a gun everybody get ammunition everybody get bandages everybody get stems everybody get um get full eat and drink everybody eat and drink because you don't eat and drink we'll get there so we'll sneak over the ridge and we'll peer down at the valley at the enemy. I'm like, all right Little Joe you go in first big Bob's gonna go around the side from the water. I'm hungry Does anybody have snacks? No one brought snacks I brought 1024 bullets, but no stickers I have c4 But it's like that when you get there to do the thing to raid somebody

It's like showing up to a construction site and realizing you forgot your hammer. It's like, oh my god What are we gonna do? Like you'll get their doors blown off. You'll get in their base, but you didn't bring any doors Tonight. All right make doors quickly because we just blew up a fucking everybody in the server comes to the explosions when you make explosions They hear them a mile away and when people hear explosions, they're like dinner bell. Come on boys. Let's go And that is a drop whatever they're doing They drop whatever they're doing and they'll come like half dressed like they ran out of the shower in game They just just because they know someone is using explosives and it's the most expensive thing in the game is explosives the hardest thing to acquire and they have a name for people who show up more or less naked to steal your chrome um well there's a there's a term called like

grubbing and and grubs and that's more somebody who's like usually a solo who's wearing gear that you wouldn't ever even want like like everything on them is worthless, but it's effective at close range. They brought this like glass cannon kit. They've got a double barreled shotgun and they're dressed like Pocahontas and they're outside your base, crouching in the shadows, waiting for you to come out your door with your good shit on. And they go, boom, boom, grab all your shit and they're disappearing to the night. That's called grubbing someone. you are like 1000 people I don't know it's it's a regular

like thing at the game. No, I meant to say like let's say you want to get your name. Yeah, you got their name and then there's a website you can go to and you can track their name to see if they change it to something else and you can watch until they go to sleep and log off and you'll have that on your other monitor. Like we're waiting. They got to sleep. Sometimes they got jobs. I got, I got four 14 year olds. They all got speech impediments and they smell blood in the water.

Like we're staying up all night. You made the classic mistake you've played with the unemployed. Yeah, I know I'm going to lose any sort of confrontation or gunfight But I can set an alarm for four in the morning and come and like break break into your house while you're in people will the move is to Have speakers on you and instead of logging out of the game you go to sleep in game So your character lays on the ground and you get sort of like the viewpoint of like out of someone's closed eyes almost, but you can still hear everything that's going on around you.

So you eat plenty of food, you drink plenty of water cause you'll dehydrate and your energy will go down while you're sleeping even, but you turn your speakers up in real life. And I'm in bed with the speakers turned off. So if I hear someone start rating into my base, it wakes me up and I can go over and like jump on, but that's real no life shit.

Most people don't do that. And Woodycraft, it had a game mode called Facts, it's just like Rust, but Minecrafty. And people would, you know what explosions sound like? They'd replace that wave file, that audio file, with an alarm that goes, eh, eh, eh. So it would wake up players if they're getting raided with the alarm sound and then they go take care of it.

So a couple years ago, Rust is always progressing and I don't keep my finger on the pulse while I have to know all the things, but a few years ago they added electricity, maybe a little more than a few years now, but they also added this app integration. So you can have a Rust app on your phone and it'll text you when you're getting raided

if you have built an in- game security system for your base. Oh, nice. But building it is a complex thing. Like it's like it's like Minecraft, like Redstone stuff. Yes, there's a lot. When you look at there, there are these YouTube channels that tour bases like clan bases, it's kind of like the factions thing, how they've been. This has been their base for six months of and they've been expanding and it's

just wave at level after level of walls and security systems and when you look at their electricity and their plumbing it's more complicated than real world electricity and plumbing. It's this maze of wires and tubes and pipes. The stuff you can do in Rust is wild. I mean, for a while the meta was pot farming. It was growing hemp in these automated pot farms that were indoors with timers on the watering system. And then it became, I think, shit farms. You were raising livestock. Turtlizer?

Yeah, you were farming shit to turn into gunpowder, I think maybe. There's been lots, every update, people are looking for any way to get one over on the game. One of the smart things we did at Woodycraft, looking back, was at the end of the wipe, I, as admin, would hold a competition. The spawn, which previously was not able to be toyed with from a program.

We take that off. You can destroy the spawn that you've been looking at. It's like a show piece and build your own base on top of it. And then I as admin would come and I judge everybody's bases. They'd construct bases out of emerald cubes, which are very rare and expensive in game, just like ridiculous, flaunting wealth. They decorate it with my head how many times they killed me in

the last six months. And I'm like, those are rare. I got to give you credit for that. It's not that rare. They'd all have them. But there's always other times you can kill me personally. And Colin would be up there too. And people from my batch.

They're hanging us like you had your own little stark family up like Moose. Meese. I don't know on the wall and me. And then if I judge that clan to be the winner, usually it was pretty obvious like who the winner was. We had a Hall of Fame like who won every wipe that would live forever. Well, yeah. Late white rust is a lot like late white

Tarkov and that people are often really generous with new players they run into. You're like, hey, I just rated this base base do you want everything in it we don't want to carry it home you know it's just not worth our time to carry these riches and these gems home do you want them and little kid will just who's never seen that stuff has a meltdown so it's cool to kind of make their little days so that is cool although sometimes inov, I thought people like exaggerated their generosity. Like I just gave this guy 19 GPUs. Yeah. For a day we're wiping tomorrow. Like it doesn't matter. I've seen what's he going to do with it? When you see a stream, when they're like mid wipe

and streamers dropping sick cases for people, that's generosity. I've seen, I've seen streamers drop their sick case full of keys like mid wipe. And it's like, Oh my God. Like the value of that is just almost incomprehensible. Oh my God. He said mid wipe. I was like, wow, these streamers like have in a game mid wives that they're giving. This is an interesting little prostitution thing. That's true. He's dropping off his wet nurses for the the less accomplished players. I'd be down for that. Remember in Mad Max, they had all them fat bitches they were milking. They were milking them like cows for people milk. Were they all fat? Yeah, they were all fat. Yeah, because they were actually getting the food. Everybody else was

hungry as hell. They were given all the food to and then there was that one, they only had enough energy for one guy to be jacked as hell. It was the big son of, yeah, of Immortem Joe. But it evened out because Immortem Joe's other son, unless I'm totally misremembering that this wasn't his son at all. It was this like a crippled sort of a Buddha figure where his crumpled legs were all together, but he was also fat and he would pull down that horn and instruct people. He was a little person. I did not like that character. He's all crippled up. Yeah.

He was more crippled than he was little. He was very little, but like, if I were to look at that that guy his crippledness would jump out at me before his littleness Like I like all my goodness. He couldn't even he couldn't even like Can you find a picture of the the tiny crippled midget from Mad Max for a sec? That's yeah I feel like Taylor's way off here well face. Maybe he's a real midget in real life. He's oh Yes, he's far more little than he is crippled and he's a real midget in real life. He's oh, yes. He's far more little than he is crippled. And he's crippled. Let me see the crippled.

That's it. That's hold on. I'll think of this crippled retard from Mad Max. Yeah, I remember that's when I learned that Woody had bad taste in movies. Woody and I watched that movie. We watched that movie in theaters, like opening weekend, and I came out and I was like, oh, see what I mean? Poor guy. Now I feel horrible for him.

He looks like the final boss of what's that bird game? I think it's a difficult life. Do you think people call him speed racer sometimes in a mean way? No, probably not. I mean, this is a little guy. I don't know. What's his name? Oh, if you want to bet, I got 20.

It says that dude's dead. There's no way he made it another like 15 years after that photo was taken. Quentin Kenahan. He is Kyle Wins. He is dead. He didn't win because I would not have taken that bet. Obviously, he was the little guy was on oxygen and during the movie premiere. I mean, he played a character that I thought that was part of. You thought that was makeup. They disguised it. They disguised it a little bit they made it look like that was part of him from the movie there's a poster behind that this is mad max now that I'm thinking about it I realize how stupid the movies 2015

he died in 2018 that dude was on his last legs Have any legs you saw him the dude was an egg. Yeah, he was born with osteogenesis Imperfecta I can't believe I said he was on his last legs imperfect You know what good for fucking him he gets he got to wear a cool pendant he got to be kind of mean I think he dies in the movie also. He does. So that was practice for the real thing a few years later. Yeah. That's a good movie. I liked that one a lot.

It's just a full on action movie and it's not even about Mad Max. It's mostly Charlize Theron's character. Oh, what the fuck is this part of his YouTube or his Wikipedia page? At the time of his death, Kenahan had nominated, I assume it means had been nominated to stand as a counselor

for the city of Adelaide elections on 9th of November 2018. His name appeared on the ballot paper, but votes for him were not counted and were allocated to the next preference candidate because he was dead. So why would they they shouldn't even put him on the ballot that's not fair. They should have put him on when he was alive. Hillary Clinton rules. Hillary Clinton rules. Bernie Sanders rules. They all flow to me. I'm glad I don't have little crippled guy imperfecta. You're glad you don't have osteogenesis imperfecta I think is what it said that's lazy ass name yeah that's what it does to you that

shit is worse than death is there an osteogenesis perfecta where you're just stacked yeah that would be that's probably what a like Brian Shaw's bones look like just made of tensile steel that That would be good. You guys. I'm glad I'm not. I think I'm ready for rap. Yeah, we had a good time. That little mutant man. Same. I'm checking out the sponsors boys by lock and load. Get the merch. PKA 750. Is that your chair? No, my in the last like 10 minutes of the show, the fan on my computer is spazzing out. I took it apart and put it back together

and now it's spazzing. So I need to do that again. Sounded like a horse.