Painkiller Already - PKA 757 W/ Josh Wolf & VinWIKI Chris: Woody's Horrible News

Episode Date: June 21, 2025

PKA 757, first guest having audio issues. We'll see if he can sort that out and join us. Taylor? This episode of PKA is brought to you by Lock and Load. Harry's, our wonderful merchandise and the soul of the now flying high Franklin the turtle. So to start the show, we're gonna have 35 minutes of silence.

Franklin the turtle. Damn shame everyone. to start the show, we're going to have 35 minutes of silence. I come to turtle. Damn shame, everyone. It is. I think most people don't know what we're talking about. I talked about it on PKN, which is a much smaller audience. I was live streaming Tuesday and Colin taps on my shoulder. And he's like, Dad, there's a turtle in the pool. And I'm hoping this is just informative as if it's not like every other piece of information

which is just a clue that I have a problem to solve. But sure enough, it's dad, fix this. So I go to the pool and I take out the net and I get the turtle out and he's not moving, but he's alive. He seems alive. We all know what a dead turtle from the bottom of a pool would look maybe bloated

and disgusting or whatever. A dead turtle on land would be dehydrated and busted. This looks like a healthy turtle that chooses not to move. So Jackie starts researching it and he says, they play dead. I'm like, well, my turtle's awesome at playing dead. Now you're like world-class. And anyway, so I started like, well, my turtle's awesome at playing dead. World class. And anyway, so I start like waving his hands and nodding his head and there's not a lot of movement there

but he just seems alive. So I put him in a box next to me, give him some lettuce. Chat says, I don't think the turtle enjoys your air conditioning as much as you do. This isn't what you want. He's probably cold, They're cold blooded. So I take the box, I put it outside in the shade. Not cooking him, but he's there.

He's got his lettuce, whatever. I check on him three hours later. He hasn't moved a millimeter, not at all. So I declare him dead. And I bring the turtle back. I got him on camera. I'm like showing, sort of shaking his hand, nodding his head. He's not moving, but he seems like he's graceful. So I brought the dead turtle back on

stream and we did a little, uh, hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime gal. This is Twitch. They allow this. They kicked me out for saying faggot. this. They allow this. They kick me off for saying faggot. This is terrible. Turns out they do. Turns out they do. So, anyway, I start pulling his head out because you know, it's all tucked in like, like, like he's uncircumcised and I, and I pull his head out and he pulls it back at me and I'm like, whoa, I'm jarred or whatever. He's alive. He's alive. If you pull his head out to the full extension, he pulls his head

back. He doesn't seem to like that. Maybe he feels vulnerable. So like this turtles definitely he's alive. He's kicking. We got it. chats going wild. My wife, she says she sees it. And my favorite part, she's on YouTube. And she found that Indian dude that makes videos based on how to tell if a turtle is alive or dead. He's just like, put a feather in front of his nose. Schwarzenegger in this situation. See if the feather moves and he doesn't blink or anything, but he definitely has that head pull reflex and whatever.

I put him on a plate because the plate held a little bit of water and then I tilted the plate and this is how I left him overnight. Hard to focus on that. But uh. Predators? Well he's in the front like garden. I'm worried about predators but I thought maybe tucking them near the house would help him a little bit. And the plate has water because my concern is that he's thirsty. He has a he had plenty of water. He did. But like six hours ago, I know I need to drink browning this whole time. It turns out turtles can hold their breath for like five to six hours. My guess is it was more than that. I don't know. Maybe he thinks he was brain dead. But we put him in there and we let him sit overnight.

How would you test that? He just he responded to stimuli, but he didn't like answer any questions. So I come in the morning. I was like, oh. Oh my God. On that plate, I didn't take a picture because it was gross, but there was like a disgusting slurry of blood mixed in with the water that had,

and it was actively dripping out of his mouth. I don't know, did bugs like crawl in there or something? But also he didn't move like he did before. The hello my baby, hello my darling thing. No, now he's rigamortized. Rigamortized, that might be a word. And uh. Saying with Schwarzenegger's accent though.

Rigamortized. He's been rigamortized. And uh. Not bad. Not bad. No. No. And he can't shake his hands or move his head anymore.

So now he exists on the bottom of the trash can. Apparently I was supposed to put him in a plastic bag first, but. Oh my God. You should, you should bring it. You should keep him. Dude, this is what you should do. You should, you should keep him and just put him in the freezer and bring him out every stream and name him Joe Biden. He's in charge. Keep it frozen and he wouldn't fall out fully during a stream. You could keep this up for a while. How many, what percentage of you, when you woke up this morning was like, oh, Franklin and then.

Oh yeah. It was yesterday. I like Jackie got up first. She makes, I get breakfast in bed a lot. So Jackie got up and she's making me breakfast and she doesn't come back with breakfast, worthless wench. She's like, you should see the turtle. And I'm like, is it bad news?

And she's like, yeah, there's no way he's still alive. So that's when you found him with all, a lot of his blood missing. Dang. Well, he was a cold blooded turtle. If he had the chance, he'd have killed us all, you know? So good riddance, I say you know so good riddance I say to Franklin good riddance you should keep his shell a little memento for the time you had a pet turtle for 18

hours you're gonna want to boil him you don't want to boil him he's on the bottom of the trash can I wasn't gonna dig him out of there he's not there. He's not going anywhere. He is still there. It's too late now. Next time a turtle falls in your pool, you'll know what to do. Yeah. It'll happen again, Kyle. Of course it will. I left out, the pool's busted right now.

It's green. There's something called a salt cell. The salt is sodium chloride. So it removes those two things, and then it makes chlorine out of the salt that you have in the pool. It just stays there as a ready supply of chlorine to be converted as needed. But it broke and the pool is green and I'm waiting for the service guy to come. I don't fix salt cells, but it's so I'm saying the pool was more ideal for the turtle than people

might have guessed because it's green right now. Yeah, okay. More ideal. of guest because it's green right now. Yeah okay more ideal but also there's no way it likes salt water. Well yeah it's not that salty but I hear you yeah you wouldn't taste it. Oh okay all the salt water pools I was in as a kid I could I could taste it a tiny bit I could taste that it was not a chlorine pool it was different from like swim lessons when I was five at that big complex. It doesn't have that harsh chemical, burn your eyes, stink to it. But I can't taste the salt in there either. My dad's got a saltwater pool.

We love it. Like I know like that tech was new to us both. Whenever you put that pool in 12 years ago or something. And you know, going through what he just explained about how it's turning the salt into chlorine. Cool. Yeah. I'm like I kind of get sodium chloride chloride sounds like chlorine so that much I'll buy. Doesn't sodium explode. What happens to the other. I don't know what's happening here. Okay. I'm so glad there are people to figure out chemistry like the first people that were like do you remember going through the shells

in chemistry in high school where you had to like place the electrons on the valence shells? Yeah. And just like thinking like, man, this must've been such an ordeal to figure this out. All the- They didn't figure it out. They don't even know what a fucking electron is. They don't even know what it is, is. They don't even know what it is Taylor They're not sure they're real Well, then what's me that would be a big day in the scientific community if they came clean and we're like we're we made It up. We don't know what's going on in these things If they're fucking real that you could never know where electron is it's technically a field

You just need to imagine it like a Field not a not a particle. Don't imagine that little seed rotating around a bigger seed like the solar system, because that ain't it, apparently. You can never know we're in a lecture. I don't even know how else to imagine it. A field?

It's just a general field where a certain amount of energy exists anywhere? Yes, there is a circular field around the center of the atom and it's somewhere in there, but you can never know where. I don't like that. I'd like a little more certainty. I would too.

I would too. I watch tons of videos where they're explaining how Newtonian physics and quantum mechanics don't add up and all the inconsistencies and then my brain breaks 15 minutes into an hour long video and I just stare for 45 minutes. Yeah, there's that like off spoken science man that Woody turned me on to probably two months ago where you're like, he goes on Rogan sometimes and he's kind of like, he's like a Neil deGrasse Tyson

but seems to actually know shit. And so he would be on there being like, and the thing about our understanding of physics is it's an incredible thing when it comes to terrestrial objects and things like this. We can understand the movement and such. He's always like smiling. He just is fucking out this shit. And then he's like, the extent of our knowledge there, you either take it up and you scale it up stars and quasars, black holes, or you make it small and it's totally useless. And it's like, well, fuck, man. Like, so now, now we need three types of physics.

You nailed that pretty well. Yeah, you did really well. Because I, as a kid, that was really good. As a kid, they showed us the atoms, you know, we even one class is showing us what an atom looks like. And the other class is showing us what the solar system and the galaxy and the universe looks like. And I'm like, oh, shit, everything is just fractals. It's just, it, it, we're just changing the size. But now, now, now that would have been too simple. That's how, that's how I know there's no God. He'd have made it simple. He wouldn't have needed to make it some other thing. It would have all just worked on the same system. No, if I were God, it would be about this complicated because I would

treat it like Bitcoin where like I wouldn't want to see all of my creation discover everything super rapidly and then have nothing to know where to go from there. I'd want every incremental thing to get harder and harder so you'd have better viewing. Wait, better viewing? So you could like see them be like, oh, they're about to, they just figured fire out. Okay. Oh, but now but every node of the audience retention, you don't want the show to jump No, no, no, it's gotta stay good. I'm not I would be sure I want you to be god I'd be the kind of god I wouldn't have a game of thrones universe

Every time every time I watch a video about the nitty gritty of the internals of an atom It it often ends with them being like but we're not Well, nobody knows for sure. We're not really we don't know, you know, it do they even exist? There's a video called the protons really exists and I'm like what the fuck Do they don't aren't we sure protons and now we're not sure about protons And then the balls on some of these physicists to be like, we don't know if these things exist, but guess what? There's also maybe something infinitely smaller in there too.

Oh, for sure. Oh, for sure. And what are they made out of? Like when you look at what the Planck scale is, someone explained the Planck scale in a video the other day. I think it's the smallest measurement, unit of measurement a plank and I wish I could remember how they how they phrased it. It's incomprehensibly small. It's it's just shockingly small Um, yeah, they don't know anything. I look forward to I wish we lived in a time where they did know the stuff And they would the video just knew and it wasn't full of ambiguities and no one really knows fuck I want to know mm-hmm well that stuff is cool but just in time for World War three though so we got

that going for us just in time for someone to tell us like actually nukes are make-believe because there's no protons in there what else could it be yeah it's like well I think it's something to do with neutrons, maybe fission, maybe fusion. I don't know. How many planks are in a millimeter? This is a new unit of measurement that I'd never heard of. And you'd be pretty close if you did six, two, and then 30 zeros after that.

Yeah. In a millimeter. It's incomprehensibly small. It's beyond the ability to even wrap your head around. It's like when they start talking about the size of the galaxy or the universe. When they talk in multiple trillions of kilometers or something, it's like I could barely picture

a hundred kilometers. I don't even know what a number that is. Like after trillion comes what, quadrillion? Quadrillion, pentillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion, decillion, undecillion. You just need to say the two. Duod sectillion, octillion, nonillion, decillion, undecillion. You just need to say the... Deuodecillion, yeah.

But I don't think we've even come close to 30 zeros yet. You have, at that point you just say to the power of 30. Maybe. To explain it, or just write it. Dece-trillion? Is that, if each one gives you three zeros, maybe the 10 one is close, I'm not sure. You get up to those numbers and it's like

What are we even talking about? Like I there's no way to understand the global debt Exactly who like I saw like that is that old joke where someone's like How about we just take all the debt and pin it on some sap? You mean like the Jesus story and they're like, ah, I guess I guess so We're gonna take care of that guy and everyone else is good Taylor Taylor Kyle, did you happen to catch the full Tucker Ted Cruz interview? I didn't. You know, I only watched the the the gotcha moment and that's all that's being circulated.

So I'm guessing that was the interesting bit. Oh, I watched like four gotcha moments now. Okay. There's a point where Ted Cruz says he was elected to represent Israel. I'm paraphrasing but he essentially says that. Did you? It sounds looks like Taylor's on too. And of course there's the, what's the population of Iran? What's the ethnic breakdown by percentage of Iran?

Got your questions. That's like, oh, you like girls? Ha ha, name every girl. Like, you know, like bro, I get it. I think the population is important though, because you're talking about going to war with somebody. How many of them are there? I don't know.

Wait a minute. If we were going to, if the three of us were going to get in a street fight and like, Hey, let's go outside and beat up all them guys. Oh shit. How many are there? I don't know. I hear you. It's incredibly important.

If he had said, I can take 0.5 guys. Would Tucker have said, all right, 89 millions close enough to 92 million. I sure Or would he have been like you're off by 3 million. You're off by you know a lot Do you think people doesn't my audience would have heard the truth? He was like no idea Well, or he was like I'm not playing this gotcha game. I don't know I'm not playing this gotcha game. I don't know Gotcha more people than Germany. It's more people in the UK. It's it's a ton of people It's it's it's a large first world country than I thought. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's like the same size as Germany

right isn't Germany like 90 million is 70 I believe but but I I think the That threw me off that little bit of having to go back in my memory for you were saying I think 69 million fact-check me Zack 69 million population of Germany you're saying that the population of Iran is very important that it wasn't a gotcha question yeah if you're gonna go fight them if you're gonna fight them it might matter and and not only because you might lose it's not

again it's not exactly a street fight where numbers are going to add up exactly. It's going to matter like that. Three. It's going to be a three V three fist fight. Um, but it also matters because of collateral damage and stuff. It's like, like who are we bombing? How many other people are, are, are we going to war with 83 million? Way off.

God damn for Germany. It's okay. Yeah. I agree with what you're saying, Kyle. And like, I've seen a lot of like grifter right wing accounts trying to minimize how kind of foolish Ted Cruz looked throughout a lot of those gotcha moments by saying stuff like, oh, you want to attack Iran? Well, then sing their entire national anthem. And it's like, that's not even vaguely similar to

what he asked. He was like, this you're agitating for war against this country. How big is this country? Like something that you should have a cursory level of knowledge in. And he's like, I'm not gonna play this gotcha game. That's like, no, it actually like, at least demonstrate to me, you're doing more than just carrying water for whoever wants you to say these things.

Like make a compelling case for it. You're being paid by Israelis to defraud your electorate right now. So we just like to know if you put any thought into it at all or if you just cash the check, that's all. Yeah. Ted Cruz said something interesting about APAC, right? So Tucker Carlson asked him if he took money from APAC

and he hemmed and hauled a little bit, but the answer is yes. But then Ted Cruz, here's the part I liked. He's like, APAC doesn't actually give that money. What it is is there are individuals within APAC that donate and they're the people who really make things move. I'm paraphrasing, but I was like, oh, that's interesting.

Cause APAC was always like the 27th largest donator in any given political cycle. Why are they so important if they pale in comparison to like pharmaceuticals or cable TV? And the answer is, oh, it's more than it looks. Why are they so important if they pale in comparison to like pharmaceuticals or cable TV? And the answer is, oh, it's more than it looks. It doesn't come directly from AIPAC. Another one that barely gives any money is the NRA.

The NRA doesn't give a lot of cash to influence votes. What it does is it educates the voters. There are a lot of people for which they just vote the way the NRA tells them to. So they don't bring money, they bring votes. APAC doesn't bring money directly. They bring people who bring money. That's how it works. By the way, gun owners of America over NRA every day, they're there for your real gun rights. NRA will fucking hammer and haw and give stuff away. Gun owners of America are America hardcore my issue with the NRA is they really got caught lining their own

pockets sure no I bet I bet nobody's like at the top of any lobbying organization like living in a three-bedroom house like there it was really big 82 million dollar house or something wild like that. I've got that from Germany in my head, but anyway. Yeah, they were stealing like enough money that NRA was losing money instead of making it. What I did like in the, cause I don't like watch a ton of Tucker, but the clips I see, he always does that,

like ask you a question that he knows the answer to, he knows that you know the answer to it, or either he knows you don't know. And he gives that like, like that, that like so like quizzical that it's almost comedic. And he hit the quizzical Tucker face so hard. He was going.

And Ted Cruz, it was like, so let me get this straight. You don't even know the population of this country that you want to date. And Ted Cruz is like, when I got into Congress 13 years ago, it was to make Israel great. Yeah, basically.

You represent Texas. Am I wrong? Like he's doing stuff like that. And it's very, it was funny to see Ted Cruz caught flat-footed. That was nice. Ted Cruz is very good at debate. You probably know

he was on the Harvard debate team. He might have been captain of the Harvard debate team. He's really smart. I'm not Ted Cruz's biggest fan at all. I feel like I'm carrying water for him alone in this. I thought they were gotcha questions that didn't really get to the core of whether it was a good idea or a bad idea. Bad idea, by the way, but just having his questions. I don't like Tucker either, even though in this situation he's representing my views. The thing where he can't stop laughing at the guy he's interviewing, he's just belly laughing as if that's

the dumbest, most ridiculous thing I ever heard. I'm like, oh, this laughing is what you do when you can't make a coherent argument. You just laugh at somebody. He does like a laugh like like an effect Connecticut Boatsman or something like like the kind of guy who would take an expensive sailboat out in loafers. Doesn't he seem like a super rich guy from the Northeast? Maybe that's not is Maybe a little, but I think he just wears Oklahoma. Wait, he wears blazers and boat shoes a lot. I think he just has that in that haircut. I don't know. He seems very casual. You got to take wins where you can get them. And it was fun to see because at the end of

the day, like, yeah, they were like they were kind of gotcha questions, but they revealed what Tucker wanted them to, which was this guy who's agitating for work. He doesn't even know his ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to it. He's just doing what he's told. Did you see John's? Tucker Carlson grew up near San Francisco. That's where he's actually from. And you know, he's an heir to the Swanson fortune, the TV dinner people. He's going to inherit the entire O. Henry candy bar.

Isn't it weird when you find stuff out like that, where it's like, wait, you're telling me Anderson Cooper's a Vanderbilt, like the? Like those ones? Is that one true? I didn't know that one. Yeah, yeah, but like you'll find out high level people in all these places are like, and the sponsor's in your fortune, that's funny.

I always thought it was interesting that Tucker like works so hard. This guy's been making a career in media, whether it be MSNBC, I'm pretty sure he worked there, CNN, Fox news, or his independent thing. Like, why does this guy work so hard when he never had to work at all? Like what, what is it he enjoys so much about being in the public eye? I don't get it. I don't know. Probably very well connected.

Maybe. What? He knows more than he does. I mean, I think like 45 of our, how many presidents have we had? I don't know. 40 Snow, 45, you're right. Cause we got two double ups.

At least. But I think a significant portion of them, like almost all of them are descended from King George. I think they all are. Even Obama is descended from King George. I wouldn't, you know, if I found that out factually, I wouldn't like it. That's true.

Like, are we all, like, I wanna know what percentage of the people are. You're not, I promise. You know, I know, cause you're not in public office. You don't have an owl with You know, I know because you're not in public office. You don't have an owl with bleeding eyes on the ball behind you. All right. All right. Two things. One, Woodworth is an English name. So I think that increases my chances to I have a turtle with bleeding eyes. So take that. Oh, too soon.

Easy to confuse. I think that the stuff like that always does.'s like what what do you mean? They all are What do you mean? Every president is a descendant of King? What is it? What if they're all the black guys? But it's not Genghis like King George didn't like sire the 10,000 sons, it's King John. I don't know the Kings But Genghis Khan did. He literally raped his way across the continent for his entire life. There's no telling how many sons alone he had. And then his people were very rapy as well. So his sons went and probably did a whole ton of concubining and raping themselves. But King John was just King John.

How many sons did King John have? Because that's the telling. That's the telpate. Well, I've got tail of the tale. Well, I've got to click the see more tab. Well, not a direct relationship to a specific king. It's common geological finding in the US presence. Whoa. King John of England. Yeah. It's almost all of them. Martin Van Buren can trace back to King...

Yeah, except for Martin Van Buren. That's the one. That's crazy. King John, this guy's further back than I would have thought. Oh, the Van Buren boys. The Van Buren boys. Dude, 1166 to 1216. That's way further back than George. I was wondering how George would have worked. I'm like, man, did he sire George Washington when he was four? I think he had like four descendants who came over with the Mayflower. I think I read that.

And so from those four descendants come most of our presidents. Okay. Which I don't like. Like most, like there are royal families in Europe that don't have such a pure bloodline. Yeah, that's crazy. That just doesn't... How? How could all of them... It can't be all of them other than the Van Buren boy.

It can't be all of them. That's wild. Is he just kind of like a presidential racehorse? Does he have a lot of other descendants doing other important things? Like, is that known? I'm sure it is. Everything's genealogy. That genealogy is kept track of.

It's hard for me to find who my great grandfather was because he was probably some drunk old Scotsman or something. But, you know, Obama can track his back. George Washington can track his back. And there's been tons of research and money put into nailing all that down. But yeah, she definitely, definitely not living in some sort of a weird they control us and give us the illusion of us voting sort of universe.

I got to tell you, I don't like this. Well, I'm not a fan of this at all. This is what I want Ted Cruz to be forced to answer for. He's probably he probably is, for. He's probably is too. He probably is too. I would talk about Uncle John like that Tucker. Isn't he like Latino Ted Cruz? His real name is Rafael or something.

Yeah. Yeah. But Obama's black. You know, that's not to say that he wasn't, you know, some sort of habsie or something. Right, right, right. I'm just trying to think about the odds. Yeah, yeah, I feel you. I can't be high.

I don't know Cruz's background, but I do like it when the politicians like came from nothing. It's like, this guy just got good grades from the moment he hit kindergarten. He was a Rhodes scholar. He came from a poor family, but he couldn't be denied. Like that's the story I like. The more inspirational ones? Yeah. Yeah. Then they get in office and they start getting money.

Do you know about the Baron Trump novels? I have heard about that. Never does any due diligence. So 19th century publication, this is a book from 1893 called about the adventures of Baron Trump. There is a character that helps him out in the books called Don. It is a weird, weird series of coincidences that are very upsetting.

I was learning about that last night. Like, what do you mean? I heard about it. I think that Trump's uncle, he was some sort of an intellectual. Like he went to a renowned university and was actually a smart guy. And they sent, after Tesla died,

they sent Trump's uncle to go look at all of his gadgets and gizmos and his writings and papers and see if there was anything there. And he reported back, it's mostly self-promotion and nonsense and this, that and the other. Nothing really here, but he only sent back 80% of what he had taken. So the theory is that perhaps Trump's uncle found some sort of time travel device in Nikola Tesla's laboratories. And that is how we get this Baron Trump Novel, it's a it's something to do with that. Also how Trump became president somehow

Didn't Trump have an uncle that taught at MIT was like that's their being per hours. One of was the same guy That's why they see he was qualified to he was that he was they deemed him qualified enough to like look over Tesla's gadgets and see if there was anything to be had there. I think Tesla did invent the telephone. I think they later found out that Tesla that Marconi stole the telephone from Tesla and then Bell stole it from Marconi. So fuck you, Italians. Who's to say? You think Marconi like bullied him? Like put his hand up over his shoulder at a bar and was like, hey, I want to talk to

you about something. He stole the designs. It's like you can see it's all dated. You can see that he stole Tesla's design for the telephone. Tesla had all kinds of fun gadget ideas, obviously wireless electricity, but remote controls and radio and all sorts of things far before they, you know, became a thing. Wireless electricity is the coolest thing he was all about by far. Think of how much that would rock. Just energy from the air for free. Some coil in on top of your house provides all the, oh, like it

was wifi. Yeah. That's what Tesla was doing. That's pretty cool. And if someone could figure it out, it's that guy. It has been, so it works over short distances, but I do charge my phone without wireless. Sure. He had these towers and there's, you know, you can light a bulb from across the room, but I think there's energy loss and there's gotta be safety issues

and copper wiring works tremendously well like like long-distance Transfer of electricity on wiring you lose almost zero energy. It's it's very efficient effective I can't prove it, but I feel like it would cause cancer if there was of course Please they would tell you it didn't and then 25 years from now we all have brain rotters Yeah, you guys are sounding like those 5G guys now. I hear you, but like, can't you not build a house under high power lines or something? Or there was safety notifications about that.

I mean, there's those studies about the houses that are near the high transfer wires, like higher levels of cancer and stuff. And there's gotta be something to it. I think so. I mean, cell cell phones definitely, if you use it, that thing is emitting radiation, you're holding it to your head. We don't anymore, but there was a time when like you had those early versions of cell phones

that were not that great, that were probably sitting in all sorts of electromagnetism into those guys' brains and they were just always to your head. Nobody's taking them. Do you think they're better now or worse? I think they're better now, but just because of the use case that we don't,

we don't talk on phones really. Oh, it is true. I just keep mine on my thigh. But back in the early phones you're talking about didn't have wifi. Like now they do more than they used to. For sure. And Bluetooth.

I don't even know what Bluetooth and wifi are. I just, I mean, I know what they do. I know how to hook it up and make my sound system work, but I don't know what that technology really is. I'd love to hear Ted Cruz answer that. You even know how Bluetooth works. Bluetooth and Wi-Fi do. You know what's named after a bike?

Now what, so the 5G thing, Kyle, what, like you said you wouldn't want to live near one of those towers, like what is, if I had my brothers, like, I don what like you said, you wouldn't want to live near one of those towers. Like what is, because I haven't done any. In general, I have no real fears about that. Even as a kid, like I remember reading about how nuclear power plants work and being like, wow, why aren't we afraid of that? Like I always thought the cooling towers were emitting like something scary. It's just steam. You know, I also always thought nuclear energy had something,

some sort of Star Trek component. And the Enterprise, they've got dilithium crystals, these crystals that don't exist in our world, but at least not the way they do in the Star Trek world. And they're pumping energy through them and they're creating all this power. I thought, oh, that must be how nuclear energy works. I was thinking, no, no,

it's just a big steam powered turbine with more steps. It's just steam. We're just heating water and turning turbines. So why are people relatively spazzing on 5G compared to other towers? I have no idea. What is different? I didn't look at any of that. It's a great internet service for my phone. I didn't look at any of that. It was you know, it's about it's great internet service for my phone

I don't care if it gives me cancer eventually I think that it's to me it sounded like this the same people that don't think birds are real or like think there's flatter They would see those 5g towers and start literally shooting them with rifles and stuff, you know But those people are coops and crazies. You're not gonna stop the technology. And if it was hurting people, they wouldn't use it. I mean, it might hurt them. That's not exactly true. It's not true at all. If it was like killing people graveyard dead

within a week or something, they wouldn't use it. It might not be good for you. 5G isn't health food, but come on. Like we're all better connected now. Like if you did the math, if you really did the calculus, you'd find that, oh, well now emergency services are 4% more effective because we can reach into these areas. This is how many hundreds of thousands of lives are saved over this period. And cancer, we got

18 more cancer cases because of the 5G. Okay. It's like seat belts trapping people in Burning Man cars. I ain't never gonna strap in. Not gonna strap me in a car. All right, go out the windshield, Bozo. See how that goes for you. Bozo. I can't explain why. But I don't buy the idea that 5G hurts people. But if you told me they could track people better with 5G, like it has short range,

they can triangulate with towers better than they could with the long range towers. Be like, that makes sense. Well, they don't need that in GPS, right? We're all a walking GPS transponder and that's a meter of accuracy. I don't think we send any signals for GPS. I think that's receive only.

They could ping us though, right? If they know your device, they could ping it with GPS and find you, I'm sure. I think they triangulated with cell phone towers and the GPS is strictly read only. You don't send information to GPS. I thought they got a bunch of J6 rioters with cell phone GPS, but maybe it's what you're saying, that it was some triangulation. That could have been like metadata from social media as well,

from them posting, you know, because it's pinging, it's like securing like done at this location whenever they're posting and taking pictures and stuff. Oh, by the way, they are doing that thing I talked about to the LA rioters. I saw the district attorney or something, maybe the federal prosecutor in California, he's like, we're gonna take our time. We're getting you all. You think your mask is hiding you? No, no.

We're getting you. And then they go they this this list of like, this guy thought he could do a rock. And now he's outside his house, please know they got fucking MP fives in his face. It's like this guy thought he could say that Marco Rubio wasn't a good leader. Not today. And they like go through this list of people they from the LA riots, the Marco Rubio things bullshit. But you know, the LA riots that threw rocks, stuff, set fires. Oh, the one guy was seen showing up

with like crates full of really good masks. Like not the Home Depot shit. Like he had like some space shit. You had like full face coverage and the, and the double filters and stuff. They're expensive. And he was like emptying crates of them out for the rioters. And it's like, then they show them at his house with him at gunpoint. And it's like, then they show them at his house with him at gunpoint. And he's coming out. Love it. That is probably a guy to pursue. It's like, this guy probably didn't just feel generous that morning and spend $40,000 on masks. Yeah. He's probably a middleman. Dude, I love they're getting them all. I love it. I know you're not happy with the rate of the deportations, but they're doing everything they can.

They are ramping it up. Every day I hear about more aggressive tactics. For a moment there, Trump put a moratorium on illegals in hotels, service industries, and farms. And then two or three days later, someone got... He was like, like actually never mind we're coming for all of you and you're right that was gay of me I apologize that's what happened like steam ahead he said he wasn't gonna do it and then I swear two maybe three days passed and he reversed course and then I saw today they're, they, they're a pot farm in California rounding up like 75 illegals who are working on a farm, you know, like everybody's hands up. I love it.

Love it. Getting them all, getting them all Taylor. Got to keep it moving. Got to keep marching forward. You know what I like those mask guys at the riots. I think it is funny when you see the people who are like their hardcore, like expensive ass mask. And then you see people with like four year old still in their closet COVID masks who are just waiting for it to be nighttime so they can steal. Where it's like they're just waiting for it to shut down so they can, you know, rock on into the Apple store and get a free iPad that's just going to blare at them as soon as they get at home.

To be fair, the LA thing melted down for two or three days, but there have been nationwide protests with tens of millions of people, maybe a hundred million people. I don't fucking know. It seemed like the streets were full in every major city. And by and large, there wasn't looting and there wasn't violence. The LA thing melted down. I haven't fucking know. It seemed like the streets were full in every major city. And by and large there, there wasn't looting and there wasn't violence. The LA thing melted down. I haven't seen that in other cities. Maybe because of the way Trump is cracked down. I don't know how many troops are in LA right now. Every I keep reading about more and more and more and more.

And when I go to that video footage, there's like Marines on the street corner. That's got to be like of all the places you can be deployed as Marine. That's got to be one of all the places you can be deployed as a Marine. That's got to be one of the nice places, right? LA sunshine, sunshine, tasty food. I'd rather go to Hawaii or Japan, I think if I was a Marine. Okay, yeah, Japan's probably tippity top. Then Hawaii or any of those Asian countries I'm down for, you know, if you're just like hanging out there on a base or something, the shitty place to be would be the Middle East. You imagine you're in one of those Asian countries I'm down for you know if you're just like hanging out there on a base or something The shitty place to be would be the Middle East you imagine you're in one of those scary bases in Iraq or Syria or you?

Know right there between Israel and Iran right now You're the people like the fear is that if the US chips in or somehow or they US helps too much That Iran's gonna attack our bases there like they've done before Those guys are on the front line of World War III if it, if it pops off, it's those Marines and bases in the Middle East. So yeah, I would rather be in LA than there though. For sure. No one wants to be in the Middle East. No, not even the Middle Easterners. No, and like there's only a few places in the whole Middle East where you can be like, damn, it's hot. I'm going to go to the beach. Most of it is just like, no, it's just sand, no beach, no

nice little bit of relaxation. You live in the middle of Saudi Arabia. This shit sucks, dude. That's awful. You're from Missouri. Yeah. But there's like a bunch of trees and there's trees and it's lush and it's not dry.

Imagine not being near the beach. Hypothetically. Well, the fact that if I lived in a desert, if I lived in the middle of Arizona, I'd probably feel the same way. Where it'd be like, oh, this sucks. Dry heat, there's no greenery to cheer you up. Look out for the good heat. Oh, but then you don't get like cool plants as much.

I like being in a very forested area. It cheers me up that seeing the cycle, like watching them die in the winter and then come back in the spring and get lush in the summer. And it's, it's nice. I always got depressed when I'd go to the desert, when I'd spend like long periods of time in New Mexico or Arizona, like Georgia is very green, you know, it's, it's like the, the smoky mountains are, I think are considered a rainforest in certain areas. It's a ton of rain they get every year. It qualifies for it, I think.

The desert in New Mexico, ugh. It's only pretty at first. Like I go there and I'm like, wow, check this out. Like, if you see like, I don't know, the red cliffs that go into the sunset and you can barely tell where the sunset begins and the land starts and it's like just the most amazing thing. That's what day one is. It's like the first snow of the year. It's beautiful. By day six, you're like this enough. Bro, I get it. What is with your mono color state? It's all brown. Brown's not even the color I would pick to revolve around. It's one of the lower tier colors. It's gotta be the worst color to be a monotonous

in a literal sense area. Yeah, you wouldn't like that. That would suck. Green's the, if you're gonna have one color, it's gotta be, and you don't even, even if you live in a very forest area, it's got to be. And you don't even even if you live in a very force, green or blue, it's not just green. Blue would be sick. True.

Yeah. Like I'm thinking of like a Caribbean type environment where the water is blue and it dominates the look of the place. Yeah. Not any blue plants, unfortunately. Which they were. That'd be prettier. It would be. But our scientists get on that. How come none of that USAID money went to cool plant colors? I think it's in star systems where it's a different kind of star that gives off more

ultra-violent light, the plants would be blue there instead of green. Something about the chlorophyll and the way plants work. Well, I wouldn't want all of them blue. They'd all be blue. Okay. Dogs would love it. I don't know. I need to see it. I need to compare my blue versus green.

I need to be there for a week because I like new stuff at first. You need to be on some horrible moon. Welcome to Zdathu. A trillion miles from here or I guess a trillion miles isn't even very far. Light probably does that in a you know lickety split. I don't know trillions so much anything. That's true. I don't know how it turns a lot. One hundred eighty six thousand miles per second and then into a trillion. That's just still take a while. Yeah, a trillion is one of those numbers that if I were to do that math on my PC right now, I'd have to like double check the amount of zeros I put in. It'd be like one, two, three, come on, one, two, three, come on, one, two, three,

come on, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, few at another. I really do. Do you think if we don't blow ourselves up, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, 123, You could get on a cruise to Jupiter and you'd fly past it and you'd look at it and then it'd be back It'd be like a six-month cruise or something. I hope that's in the future I really do that would be cool and you know, what's gonna be even weirder is like 30 years after that when it's no longer like Like a Titanic sort of group of people on the cruise wearing suits and smoking cigars and like playing classy poker It's like fights breaking out. Like trash, when a bunch of like West Virginians

can afford to get on there. I got the group on. Yeah, I got a group on. Fix your O2, fix your O2. Okay, Kyle, it takes, it doesn't take six months to get to Jupiter. It currently takes six years. Would you be interested in that cruise?

No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about a future where we can do it in six months. I understood what you were saying, but I was just like, all right, so with infinite money, you could do it in six years, maybe. Oh, with infinite money, you could do it way faster than that. We could go fast if we wanted to

and cut that trip down Um that nobody wants to though once you've been on a cruise for like a week expensive. It's like i'm about ready Like keep in mind that's an open air go out into the sunny fresh sea air get pussy gamble eat delicious food Yeah, and show what's that shuffleboard shit when you when you push it. But you got swimming pools, multiple decks, beautiful women. Did I say pussy? You stop at islands along the way and you still get bored of that after two weeks. Now imagine it's the cold deadness of space. Dude, like, with nothing to smell but Taylor's farts. Yeah, you know, I want clothes in space. I know they don't. They wear them until they are rotten and then they throw them out of the ship to be to be burnt up in the atmosphere. So I need six years of clothes.

We're gonna have to come up with something different for a six year trip, Taylor. your trip and it's like awful. I got hammered. I got hammered and made a fool of myself on day four in front of all the blackjack dealers. And so I couldn't go back to that section of the boat for the next half decade. That sucks. Yeah, I would not want to be on a cruise for six years. Not going to Jupiter. There's no way it would pay off after six years. It would be remarkable. But By the way, I've already doubled it because unless you're not

coming, you got not coming back. You gotta come back. And who's to say it doesn't take longer to come back? You know, you're planning this. You're right, yeah. Like they timed it so that they'd get there as quickly as possible. They found it at the short points.

Is that something gonna line up for the way back? Six years from now, how far is Jupiter from Earth? You know, it'd be very important. People left behind. It's like they get off a stop, you know, in Portugal and then they miss the yeah, they get back on checkpoint and now they have flight. Imagine you oversleep on your OPA. Oh no.

The Martian. Yeah, that would suck. I would want to take a cruise into space. I would want to wait in like decades into them doing it until they've got all the king, you know, everything. Where would you cruise Taylor? Price is no object. Where do you want to cruise? You want you want a long one that goes to like Hawaii from California. You want to you want to go to Alaska, Mediterranean, I'm training around. You're breaking up. Yeah. And you got an Internet issue. France. Oh, shit.

I would rather go and see something. So is it about the stops or is it about the boat stuff? Because I have this idea that on an Alaskan cruise we might see whales and that appeals to me. I think that they specifically do whale watching stuff when you go up to Alaska. But if you're going to hit all those stops, you got to go back to the old world, like Taylor's talking about. I agree with that. I would like to stop all throughout the Mediterranean and see all those old timey cities from history. But if you're just going to be on the boat, then maybe go see those whales. That does interest me. I've never seen a whale

outside of the Atlanta Aquarium. Have you seen whales in the sea? Oh, lots of times. Yeah. I mean, I've lost count. I grew up at the ocean, so that's where the whales live. I didn't know you saw them like from at the beach though. It's all from my lifeguard stand. That's awesome. There are whale watching tours that the tourists, they ride the jet boats and they see the whales and stuff where I grew up.

Yeah, that's fucking cool. As a matter of fact, I'm sorry, the key to finding where whales are is you look for the tourist boats around the whales You're like I bet there's whales there. They stopped so I every everything Every every time I learn more about animals

I feel worse about eating them and feel like they're more like us than we have given them credit for There's a new study that says that fish suffer terribly at when they're caught. And then last night I watched this guy, he's a chiropractor and he was helping a giraffe that couldn't turn its head. And he's a tailor, he's adjusting this giraffe's head and the giraffe loves it.

The giraffe is, you know how a dog would like squint its eyes and put its head on you and just want all the love? That's what the lean into you with like all its body weight to the point where they'll melt and fall on the floor. The giraffe is doing that to this man. He's up on a platform to get to the top of its head and neck and he's like adjusting it.

He's popping its neck and twisting it and the giraffe is like, oh, that's the spot. Oh, you nailed it. Do you massage by chance? And it's like, I think that's the spot. Nailed it. Do you massage by chance? And it's like, I think that giraffe knows what's happening. I think that giraffe knows this dude's helping him. I saw an elephant the other day. It's it's the baby elephant was stuck in like a mud pit. And the humans come along and with a tractor and all this help, they get the elephant baby elephant

out and free it while the mother and the rest of the elephants look on. And the mother elephant like waves at them afterwards and she's blowing and she's waving. And finally the people go, you're welcome. And they wave back and only then does she leave. She waited on them to acknowledge her before she left. And it was just like, she knows what happened. I love those angry videos.

What I love is when the animal goes to the human asking for help. Like a sea lion would be like, uh, maybe you see the bottle on my head. Can you get, can you help a brother out with this? Or like, look, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kind of trapped in a net right now. Can you cut this free? Now this is really embarrassing. I saw a dolphin go to some people on a boat.

They had a dog on their boat and they thought the dolphin was acting distressed and led them back to another dolphin stuck in a net. And after they freed it, they had they jumped in the water, they've got snorkels and stuff. After they freed it, one of the dolphins offered them a fish. He's like, here you go. Thank you so much. Here's this fish. And the person pretends to eat it to like not hurt the dolphin's feelings.

I mean, the dolphin definitely knew he was pretending. And it was like, you know what? I bet he's saving it for later. He's probably not hungry. He appreciates it. I bet Kyle saw this cause it's been on Reddit a lot. That's where I saw it. But there were two seals trapped together by a fishing net

and it was uncomfortably tight. These seals were like a little bit wounded and uh they go to or a guy and somehow that human starts helping him. They cut him free and when the first one's cut free he goes like six feet away and then he waits. He waits for his bro and when they get the second seal free they both leave together. I was like I like that.

That is definitely a community thing. Animals are so much smarter than people used to say on like animal planet, where it'd be like, oh, this pride of lions may look like they're mourning the departure of their old patriarch, but in reality, it is merely instinct for them to watch as he walks away. There's no emotion then it's like no these things like they At least the smart animals they feel deeper than we previously used to know and they're definitely smarter They are the more they feel and I don't think is anything special about us. We're not God didn't make us and Eve didn't come from no rib. We're just animals that just like the rest of them and I really believe that I think they're just like us just stupid

And they have those feelings of love and hate and love and all that stuff. I really do believe that I've seen it I've seen too much evidence to the To believe anything else although last night Incredible stakes Taylor. I got these New York strips. I sous vvided them like 137 degrees for three hours. They were thick. They were so thick, I had to split them. Wasn't gonna work. They were three and a half inches thick.

Oh my God, they were so fucking good. I got this Brazilian steak seasoning stuff, seared them in a cast iron pan with ghee. I've been cooking with ghee. You know what ghee is? Yeah, it's clarified butter. It's clarified butter. It's what you wear in Brazilian jujitsu. Also that I wear a key while I cook

It's spelled differently GHDouble E so it's used a lot in Indian cooking. It's clarified butter Like you said, but what that means is they remove the the solid milk Stuff from the butter. So now you can cook it at high temperatures because normally butter burns at 100 300 degrees or something, but this is like 485 degrees, I think is the smoke point of ghee, something like that. 475, 485. So it's just like vegetable oil or beef tallow or duck fat or any of that stuff that's often used for high temperature cooking. It's great. It's my favorite new oil. It's better than avocado oil is what I

used to use. It's just neutral. But ghee adds buttery deliciousness to your steak. It's incredible. So good. Poor cow. We poured one out for the cow. Cows are like, I think people underestimate how dog-like cows are. They are affectionate animals.

They're sweet. Have you seen those many cows that have like emo hair? Yeah. They have like emo hair hairdos where it's like beautiful like hair on top of their head that grows long like people hair and it's like styled and it's like they weren't many cows they were huge the ones I'm they make many versions that people have as pets and they're about they're about the size of your Great Danes I guess guess, maybe even smaller. And they just clop around in people's houses. I don't think you can have-

Much heavier though. Yeah, I- Look at- I like that guy. That cat cat ate him. I don't even fucking care, just eat me. This one definitely voted for Kamala. Oh yeah.

I don't get along with my dad. Fucking hate my dad. He sucks. I know. So rude to me. I feel bad. He doesn't get me. Like I won't eat, I think I'm cutting pork out.

I don't think I'm gonna eat any more pork just because pigs I think are, I think pigs are even smarter than cows. I've seen those videos of pet pigs too. And it's like, fuck. Fuck, that's a little- You're gonna cut pork out? I'm cutting pork out.

I don't even like it that much. Even the tasty bits? I like bacon occasionally. I don't think I like pork enough to justify the cruelty. Because the way they're raised is really awful and I don't know how they slaughter them specifically, but it can't be good. I doubt they like, I like they rock them to sleep

with some sort of gentle, like anesthetic. They probably electrocute themselves, I electrocute them to death while they drown them and cut their throats. Something. Oh yeah. I alone. Chickens it's rough. Um, they, they had this machine that cuts their throats while they're upside down and, but then they dunk them into boiling water,

like so soon after that, that I don't know if he was dead yet, you know? I think he might have like cut his throat and then boil them alive. Give him an extra like 10 seconds. He thought he had a hat. Yeah, and we had a hat pretty bad factory farming is anytime you watch a factory farming video, you're like, Oh, well, this is reprehensible. This is despicable. What's going on here? Oh, my goodness. I've seen it. I've been to the processing factory for chickens. They invite you like, Hey, you want to come? Like it's a fucking group outing or something like, like they invited you to David Buster's. Hey, we'll cover the slaughterhouse. I got credits. It's awful.

Yeah, they have their own Willy Wonka and like a red stained stinky apron. Who comes out there and does little sachets out there to sing you a song about chicken heads. Like it would be too easy for me to, I don't need any more introspection about the amount of meat I eat because if I spend too long watching videos about it, I'll end up doing something like cutting out pork or

what I actually I do know myself. I wouldn't cut out meat. I just feel worse about it. I would just feel bad. I'd be like, man, these carnitas are great. Are they good enough to justify the mass slaughter? Like, I have no chickens. I don't care.

Chickens can get fucked. I grew up with those things. I promise you they're just like they're cannibalistic little pro, not proto, but Omega dinosaurs. Yeah. They're just evolved dinosaurs. They've got reptilian brains.

They don't, I don't think they're feeling much I do see some sweet ducks though and swans on YouTube Where like the little kid will come home and it's duck will run up to it and it'll wrap its long neck around the little Kid to like give it a hug Fuck I can't eat duck now. Oh and that sucks cuz duck is delicious. Uh Can't eat duck go to your local lake and try to pet a duck. They'll be back on the menu in no time. If a duck came in your house, started petting your kids, you'd be like, whoa, get out of here, quacky.

What are you doing? I'd think like free dinner. That's what I would think. I would definitely try to pet the duck. If the duck was affectionate, I'd give it affection back. And foie gras, foie gras is horrific. Do you know? So it's duck liver.

And to engorge the liver and make it more delicious, they force feed those ducks as part of like raising them. I think they do it every day. I've seen them do it. It's gruesome. They come along with like a machine and just jam it down its throat and you're like, filling it in and the duck's like, They come along with like a machine and just jam it down its throat and you're like

You raped my stomach again, yeah, I'm gonna rape your stomach every day until your liver's so engorged and delicious. Oh Can I can I at least tool around in a little pond and and quack never? No, that could burn a precious calorie Yeah, no that that is I don't like the needlessly mean foods where it's like really regular steak isn't good enough. We had to go veal. Like we couldn't just, we couldn't make a regular steak. We had to like get this thing chained up,

not letting it run around. Come on. At least let it grow up. And it's a little bit of a pasture. It's easy, like, because I haven't been to a big, like cattle branch, like the mass production kind. And so when I think of it, I think about how my grandpa was with his cattle. And like, they had a great go of it. Tons around tons are running around they they eat too much of the grass they You know we shift them over to a different pasture And then they have a whole new environment to run around in and then after that the next day or two days later you shift

Them do a new one like they had a good good time, but it's not usual tend to the cows every day to do something Yeah, yeah, you had to feed him every day and move him pastures. And they have, I think at his peak, he had like almost a hundred. So he wasn't like big time in it. He just loved having cows. He grew up a farmer and so he just wanted to have animals and whatnot. Or cows primary product. He had pigs for a while, never a ton though, and he had chickens only enough for like personal eggs, but the only meat he sold was cattle. And so he probably had about a hundred for the years I'm remembering. It's almost like passive income too. If you have enough land and few enough cows, the more cows per acre, the more work because you're having to make up for

what they're taking out of the ground and taking out of the environment. So you've got to, uh, especially in the winter, you've got to feed them hay cause there's nothing else to eat. But, um, we had like a hundred, um, on lots of leased property. So they kind of set and forget, you just kind of let them do their own thing. And then when you want it, $10,000, it was just out there in the field. And then six months later, there was another $10,000. They just ate grass and turned grass and lease property into money. And usually low effort. Occasionally there would be a prison break.

I can remember one of my dad's properties was like 20 miles away, and he'd go visit it weekly, but you're not there every day. And they got out. There was a whole herd in a highway. And if a car hits your cow, you're liable. You know, that's the feeling. You don't care about the cow. I mean, poor guy, but you're terrified. A family of four is going to hit your Brahma and they're all going to get mutilated and it's all over now. Everything's over.

You're getting sued into eternity. Everything's over. You're getting sued into eternity. This image, because this is the traditional French meal of hortolan bunting. And it is the most gruesome meal that I can imagine, that I know of. This is even worse than foie gras? I don't even know what you're referencing. I haven't heard of it. Okay.

So I believe what they do is they take this songbird and then they drown it. Oh, I've heard of this. This is awful. They drown it in like brandy or or a you know, a tasty alcohol and then they cook it but lightly like they don't really give this thing a well done you don't have your or to longing. Well done. I don't think I think medium rare that would be carriage. And they then you eat it whole you you bite chunk you bite it in half this whole bird this whole song bird that draft that was drowned alive and brandy I think it is but I'm not sure. But when they eat it, they have they feel that

it is such an awful thing, admittedly so, that they hide their faces from God while they do so. So everyone at the table drapes the big napkin over their heads, their faces, and they eat under it. That's the traditional way to eat this meal. I bet the real reason is because it pops or something. Look at the picture. And stuff could squirt out. I thought Zach was going to bring it up. I wasn't. I did. All right.

Oh, well, I wish I could actually see him. I mean, they're not hiding from God, but they're certainly hiding from me here. Look at that. I can't see how two year olds hide. I can't see God. He can't see me. Oh, you can see that little teeny little bird in that dish to the right. Like a almost like a little yeah, little ramekin. Something barely bigger than what you put sauce in.

I'd just be smoking under mine. That's horrible. Oh, you saw that? I was how I was under the it was earlier after. It's like, dude, I want to come up with delicacies like this, where it's just the most absurd Mengele evil. But you say that it's classy. Like, this is a raccoon, a la Taylor. It's where we tie it up and blindfolded and put it on two cardboard boxes and put electrodes on its fingers as it stands there with its hands out. And it's like, this looks a lot like Abu Graib. And it's like, that's good to dental. What we do is we wait. it's a meal of patience, and when he does eventually slip he's insta-fried and then we all feast. He's either gonna tell us

about the WMDs or be delicious. Either way it's a win-win for us. Yeah I don't like the needless cruelty. Like have you ever seen videos of like Chinese people eating animals while they're alive. Oh yeah. It's like, get real. Like it's some like girl who has a squid that's like, like it's spazzing because it's afraid of dying. It's already out of water and she's like, oh, he, he, he. And then she's like pouring soy sauce all over it, which is, it also doesn't like that. It starts freaking out.

And then she just is like biting into it. And number one, it's a texture that's disgusting. There's no way this lady is enjoying. She's doing this to an animal in the same way all any of the three of us would like glibly eat the hot chip challenge. Like she's just taking it out on this animal. I don't like that one bit that's fucked up.

As alien as they are, those orthopods, squids and octopuses, and they also have this really short lifespans but they seem incredibly intelligent like you were gonna say as alien as they are the Chinese have a lot of very interesting food delicacies as well orange chicken we wouldn't have that without them actually that was invented at a Panda Express in Hawaii yeah we did that sorry China. No credit for you there Yeah, it's weird that octopi got as smart as they are given that they live like 18 months Like typically longevity and intelligence are linked together. You learn things over time

Elephants to die in 18 months and still be clever enough to like unscrew bottles and such But you know, it's a. Problem solving that they do. It's fascinating. And it's like you said, I've seen the one where they take a sort of a screw on lid jar and they put food inside of it, some sort of food and then they screw it on and put it and give it to the thing and it unscrews the goddamn jar.

It unscrews the goddamn jar. Like you can't eat that motherfucker alive. He's figured some stuff out. Leave him alone. That's smarter than a baby. There's no reason eat that motherfucker alive. He's figured some stuff out. Leave him alone. That's smarter than a baby. There's no reason to eat animals alive. It's actively grosser than eating a dead animal. Yeah, I wouldn't want to eat any of the animals alive.

It can't improve anything about the taste or experience. Sucks for them though. I can't give an exception. I'm usually driven to like, there's no reason to. Nah, I think he's just right. I think he's just right. Yeah. You know, exceptions to the eating animals alive thing going out of a limb here. But I don't think eating animals alive is too chill. I mean, I like my produce fresh, but he specifically said animals.

So that's not a gotcha. I know. I know. I'm going to get destroyed in the comments for this one. But you can kill animals. Dude, if I had to eat a cricket for like a reality show challenge, I'd stab it with a fork first, like I'd kill it. I don't know about that, man. Yeah, come on, you shouldn't be munching anything alive.

I don't wanna make him all gooey before I put it in my mouth. The chewing will put him down, I promise. And bite his head and then swallow him like a big pill. Yeah, definitely. Picture a big giant, like a Jack and the Beanstalk giant is going to eat you. Do you want to have your last moments of fear screaming and hearing the echoing of your own panic back front, like reverberating from the back of his mouth? Or do you want him to like crush your head real quick, insta-dead, and then he munches you? Obviously.

I hope he's quick about it and he just bites my head. I hope he just bites my head and he crushes it so fast and my just bites my head. I hope he just bites my head and he crushes it so fast and my head just explodes and it's gone and I'm gone. Yeah and I hope I taste bad. Oh I will. I will. I got slightly high off this one. Whoa what was that guy on? Whoa, what was that guy on? Feel a little woozy. That's a delicacy actually. We take a human and we give him gas station marijuana for 10 years.

Doses you wouldn't believe folks. I saw him smoke six at a time, it's wild. Yeah, it's crazy. Hide your face from the cops. I wonder if that would work. Like that. I actually, like if you've got your chicken, like super stoned before you slaughtered him, could we, could we make his meat, you know, hallucinogenic in some way?

I don't see why you actually, it, once weed is in your system, it's stored in like your lipid cells, right? Yeah. But it's not psychoactive in there. Oh, well then no. I think what it is is they, it's sort of stored in there and then for detection methods, you know, that's why it lasts so long is because it's stored in those lipids or some trace of it is, but I don't, I guess you could just, what if he fed him a ton of LSD and then ate it. Oh I mean you'd have to eat them quick, right?

Like that'd be a good gimmick at a spicy chicken restaurant local chicken Diablo You you feed all the all the chickens a gram of LSD before you slaughter them and grill them up and in Chipotle spices. You're like just finishing your meal and as like ice kicks the door down, you're like, what, what kind of chicken did I just eat? They're like, so you're going to want to go home. You're going to want to be home for the next two to three days. Aren't you glad your immigration status is a hundred percent solid? Oh, sign sealed and delivered. Yeah.

Like, like if it were even a little wanting, like if you had immigrated here 30 years ago You had you were full citizen you'd be like man. I hope all the paperwork is right everywhere You know because every now and then they're like hey it says I hear oh I see now I see now There's a little there's a little bump when you go through like like security or something like oh what oh, but then okay? Like like that little bump would scare me on my record that like ice was gonna get you in like that little bump would scare me on my record that like ICE was gonna get you in the way somewhere. Like a bump like the real ID.

I've seen people posting online being like, I went to the airport and they were saying that you need real ID now in order to fly. And I didn't realize until after I got here, but don't worry everyone, they let me on the plane and they gave me this card that reminds me how important it is to get real ID. And it's like, what is the point?

In the long run, wings of redemption was right. Now I need it is to get real ID. And it's like, what the, what is the point? In the long run, wings of redemption was right. Now I need a passport to go to Chicago. Or a real ID. Or just get a real ID. Yeah, you just bring a, it's like one extra piece of, I got mine years ago and it was easy. I got a driver's license through the mail

and I think it's not an official ID anymore. You got to bring, I had to bring a birth certificate or a passport or some other secondary ID and then my driver's license has a special like emblem. Yeah that mine has like a star on it for like I got the real ID. In North Carolina if you go to the DMV to renew you continue to have a real ID but you can also do it through the mail which is more convenient and that works for me because I keep an active passport. But if you don't,

then you just don't really have ID anymore. Yeah, gotta go to the DMV. Active passport. I was thinking about this sort of like war tourism, not going to like the battlefields, but just taking advantage of the cheap rental properties in Tel Aviv. Like, every time like some war, some crazy shit pops off,

Ukraine's a good example. I hop on Airbnb and I'll be like, I wonder. There are fewer apartments than there used to be. It's crazy. It basically it's half off is the deal. Like if you want to vacation, I mean, half off everything. Like if you want a vacation right now and like Tel Aviv, you go on Airbnb, everything is just half off.

There's just nobody is vacation in Tel Aviv. I don't even get a flight there. I don't know if you can get a flight there. You can go to a different city. You can fly into Jerusalem or something maybe. Take a little drive. I would be kind of cool to go. Actually couldn't even be a long drive.

I don't know, like if I was single, I'd be looking at how much this costs. Be kind of cool to go because you could just get if you get on the on your balcony every night and watch the ballistic missiles fall. Watch the Golden Dome do its thing. Mostly, I would iron iron. I'd want to see. I'd want to experience both sides, though. I'd want to see what the rockets look like coming into Tel Aviv. And then I'd want to bop on a plane.

Probably have to fly connect to like Turkey or something and then go over to Tehran. No, no, no. Their rockets look like Israel that I ran right now. Oh, yeah. You just have to. I hide in the wheel well like those those athletes. Drop me. I crashed through the window and kill a fucking Iranian general.

They killed so many people. They've got like a hit list of Iranian generals and stuff. They've been killing. There are Mossad secret agents in Iranian cities launching drones off of rooftops that are then controlled by pilots in Israel to go and like kill stuff. They are manufacturing the drones in Iran that they're using. Israel is not to be fucked with. I'm glad they're on our side. Aren't you? Let me just say this.

Would you want Israel mad at you? If Israel wasn't on our side, then they would be someone to fuck with. That's where they get the F-35s. It's then they would be someone to fuck with. Like that's where they get the F-35s. It's America that's not to be fucked with. True, we're the big boy in the room. Maybe not as America, but I'm saying if you're Bulgaria, if you were Bulgaria, you'd be scared shitless.

Dude, I imagine like Bulgarian politicians, like the president's like about to be like, we stand firm with, you know, whatever side. And then someone's like, shut the fuck up, we're doing a great job laying low here. We're like 70 years into smooth sailing. Don't say anything. Let us just do our thing here in Bulgaria. But it's a nice place. Maybe. I've thing here in Bulgaria. But it's a nice place. Maybe.

I've never been to Bulgaria. We were just solving the Middle East. Welcome to the show. Yeah, we wrapped it up. We got it. What a weird thing to come in on. I've never been to Bulgaria. No, I haven't either. But I was saying how like, if I lived, if I was a politician in Bulgaria, anytime they tried to get me to like comment on any world event in my head, I'd be like, I'm fucking Bulgaria. Nothing I say is going to change. It can only make people mad. And so I just kicked that can down the road. I'd say,

look at it. I try and be like a significantly poorer Switzerland. I would say something like who's, who's winning right now. Yeah. Who's what's the score? Yeah. Who's winning? Who's winning? Which team? Yeah. All right. Well, Gary, yeah. Oh, okay. I get it. So Israel got through the first round versus Palestine and that's where I'm going to the quarterfinal. You just completely become Noriega and you just side with whoever you think the winning team is at the moment. Yeah. You just Switzerland it up, which what a great strategy. Just being like, we just can, we just have a lot of money here, guys, hide your money here, you know, but keep us out of it. Or go skiing here. I gotta tell you, so expectations in low expectations is how I've gone through my life. Well, let me tell you,

I try to act as dumb as I possibly can. So then if I say something, even with just as like a hint of intelligence, they're like, that fucking dumb guy just had a pretty good idea. That's what it is. Yeah. Low expectations.

It's like, this is why I don't like movie reviews. I wish I had never heard one movie review about Sinners because it was a fine movie. It was fine. But everybody talking about how it was the best movie ever, best. And it just wasn't. It's like, come on, you know, same with Deadpool and Wolverine. Objectively, a bad movie. Yes. Oh, bad movie. Bad. Not only that and Black Panther.

So Black Panther, same director, same fucking actor. What happens is any time Black Panther was pretty good. No. Anytime I just black movie gets made for it's like, oh, it's black directed. It's black produced. We've got black actors. It's like that community gets behind their product and ain't nothing wrong with that. But some white people have this issue where when black people

think something's cool, we immediately co-sign. We can't be doing that always. Okay, Air Jordans? Yeah. All right. Spinners on your car. Let's go. But Sinners? No. Sinners was, here's the thing, Sinners was good. It was good. It wasn't a bad movie. It wasn't Deadpool vs. Wolverine, which was a bad movie. Bad movie. Bad movie. But it was not when you hype it up like that. It's just like, you know, Get Out.

Actually, I thought Get Out was really good. I thought Get Out was my example of overhype It was get out too much. Yeah, I thought it was good because it was Yeah, but it was at least get out Was different didn't win an Oscar. I don't know. Maybe I thought it was different. I thought it was different I liked it enough. It was different and And what was the wall? But but sinners was listen, not only that, if you're gonna remake from dusk till dawn, you better have somebody who tops Selma Hayek. You know what I mean?

Dust till dawn Selma Hayek is top of the heap, like a goddess. Like like if you died and you believed in some sort of weird like goddess religion and you saw Selma Hayek with that fucking Constrictor wrapped around her neck shaking her ass. You'd be like, yep, that checks out that checks out. That's Gaia To me, there is no there is that's the best-looking anyone has ever been on screen ever I'm not gonna dispute that. I don't think I can. All right. Eva Green. Like I'm a big fan of her. And I remember when I was like 14, this movie called Dreamers,

I think has Eva Green in it. And I think it's about a like a kid visiting France and basically fucking this hot chick who was Eva Green. And she goes full frontal nudity in that thing. And 14 year old me seeing pussy on HBO. That was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Not only that, Eva Green is like a smoke show with like some big old titties and she's beautiful. She was a James Bond girl, you know, like she's a top. But yeah, I think Selma Hayek

and From Dusk Till Dawn is, that might be the go of like on on screen females. Just beautiful, perfect. And the best part is immediately she turns into the ugliest piece of shit monster that you've ever seen and they slayer out, you know? And so you get one and you get it and then they take it away from you. Tarantino though, you got to respect a man who takes the most beautiful woman that we've ever seen on TV and has her pour liquor

down her thigh into his mouth while he sucks her toes. I have a hard time convincing Woody that Tarantino has a foot fetish sometimes. Are you kidding? He definitely does. And to do that to a woman that hot and then afterward give interviews and be like, I'm an artist. It's like that rules. I mean, you think it's a coincidence he wrote himself into the toe sucking role? Come on. You don't think there were better actors than Quentin Tarantino who could have done that? He was like, wait, sucking Selma Hayek's toes? Yeah, let's, I'll go ahead and do that. I'd do the same thing.

If it was like, if I was a famous director and it's like, oh, Taylor said he'd only ever make 10 films and this is going to be, he's has another cameo in his eighth upcoming film. I wonder if he's going to suck on big tits for no reason in this one. And it'd be like, yeah, damn, he did it again. You're like, that's your, that's your Stan Lee. You just know every one of your movies, you're going to, there's going to be a shot of you just, oh yeah. Sometimes like Spider-Man swinging, but if you look really close, I'm sucking tits. like Spider-Man swinging, but if you look really close, I'm sucking tits in the background. There's nothing to do with it. That'd be sick. Dude, big ups to Quentin Tarantino. Get it

while you can, man. Good for him. And he's one of those guys who doesn't seem like anybody says he's doing untoward stuff. He's like, no, I'm a feet guy. I like feet and I suck on toes in my movies and I drink fucking Hennessy off of, you know, babe's toenails. I only saw him suck the one foot, but I mean, just in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, all three of the hot chicks have barefoot in your face, mushed in your face moments.

Like three different moments of that. There's the windshield when Brad Pitt's driving that hot ass chick whose name escapes me. She was in the substance. And then there's the, when Brad Pitt's driving that that hot-ass chick whose name escapes me She was in the substance and then there's the obviously Margot Robbie with her feet up on the movie thing the movie seat and Then there's another one too. That's not coming to me. So yeah, he's definitely got some Some you know election that movie. I had to see twice. I liked it better the second time I watched it back to back. I'm so I watched that movie. And once it was over, I was like, I get it. I love Once Upon a Time in

Hollywood so so so much. I've seen it half a dozen times at least now. It's super long, which is so it's a bit of a commitment. Yeah, but I love it. I love the Cliff Booth stuff. You know, they're making a TV show now. The continuation of Yeah, all right. So they're making it. I think it's got a great director. It's not coming to me right now. But really good director Brad Pitt's coming back. And it's going to be a TV show about the Brad Pitt character and what happens afterwards like his continued

story from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. That's kind of that's kind of cool. Yeah, I'm into that. Yeah, I like that movie so much. I can't even understand why it's above average. I had to see it twice, Woody, because the first time I watch, and I do this, I'm gonna do it with Sinners too. The first time I was like, am I just caught up in what I was expecting it to be because of the hype?

And so honestly, the first time I saw it, I was like, this is slow. It's so slow. Joker. It's so slow. It's so long. But then, honestly, I watched it a second time and there were some parts that I found fascinating. Like him not having Margot Robbie speak and just watching her most of the time

was so interesting to me. Most of the time you were just watching her do things or walk about in the world, she wasn't speaking. Not at all. Right? And so that was like a real specific choice for him. And I'm sure when she read the script, she was like, what the fuck? But I found that like to be such a fascinating choice. So but the first time I

watched it, I'm like, this is long and boring. So I had I didn't find it boring. I'm titillated every moment. I enjoy the throwback Hollywood stuff. Because I know that some of the stuff that they're it's obviously a Tarantino alternate universe. But I'm really enjoying the stuff that they're touching on that's from real life, some of the Westerns and stuff like that, the spaghetti Western idea that they end up doing and the Clint Eastwood model where they go and made those movies in Italy and stuff. I liked all that stuff, but I was just fascinated

watching Brad Pitt's character do his thing. Everybody else was this Nancy Boy Hollywood like effeminate kind of guy. And here was Brad Pitt, a man amongst women almost. And it's like, man, they better not fuck Brad Pitt. The whole movie, I'm just like, they're not fucking Brad Pitt. He'll fuck you up. I knew I'm just like, I'm loving his character so much. He's killed his wife. I thought that was cool.

He beat up Bruce Lee. That's fucking cool. There is a bit of truth to those to a character like Brad Pitt's. Having at least a verbal altercation with Bruce Lee outside of the set of Green Lantern, like that that part, there is some truth to that. I don't think they actually thought. Yeah, some argument. Yeah, just some argument. Yeah, but I think that scene is based on a little bit of truth. Sure, but I enjoyed watching his character.

I love Leo's character and his downfall. Leo's character, when he's in his trailer, he just has gone to the set and he flopped his lines. He looked like an amateur. He did it in front of people whose opinions mattered to him, and now he's in his trailer and he's talking to himself. And it's all ad lib. Tarantino said, you're mad at yourself. You fucked up. You're going to give yourself a hard time now. Go. And so he's in there. He's like, I'm going to fucking kill you. You drink one more fucking drink. I'm going to fucking kill you. He's like threatening

himself with suicide. If you don't get those fucking lines right, you get in there and he's splashing the water in his face and he's just like you piece of shit he just hates himself because he got drunk the night before instead of memorizing his lines and now he looks like a loser he looks like a failure he looks like an amateur and these people's opinions matter to him so much and he doesn't and he's and he's being denigrated every step of the way they're making him wear the stupid coat and the mustache he's not a leading man in he's a villain of the week and that's that's wear the stupid coat and the mustache. He's not a leading man in. He's a villain of the week. And that's that's disgraceful to him. And he's he's just losing. I love that scene. Then the little girl when he does

come back and he nails it. And that little girl is like, that's the best acting I've ever seen. Oh, I think I cried a little at that moment. I was because it's like, I'm feeling what Leo's character is feeling in that moment. And that is like redemption and hope for the future. And it's great. I did. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people in Los Angeles did recognize his character in specific. What Los Angeles is filled with with is people with a ton of self-confidence and no self-worth. And so it's such a crazy, you know, way to balance, but they, Leo's character has zero self-worth. He doesn't, right? But he walks around a bit arrogant, a bit confident the way he walks, you know what I mean? So that combination of person is all over the place in LA. Nobody goes to Los Angeles. They're ready to break. Well, dude,

nobody gets into my business because they feel good about themselves. Yeah. Oh, I was just saying that that's what you've got. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Without a doubt. So like, that character was so relatable for a lot of people I know who watched it. We're like, yeah, I know that dude, you know, and then he's not me. I just know a guy. Oh, no, that's me. worth for me too, there's no doubt. And then when they go to the spawn ranch, when Brad Pitt's character drives the jail bait to spawn ranch, we shift genres for about 25 minutes.

It becomes a horror movie. Suddenly it's a horror movie. The sound changes, the way it's shot changes. We go to these much wider lenses. Brad Pitt looks isolated and alone. He's surrounded by these hippie freaks that we don't trust. And then there's that cabin up there on the hill with that dark door that we can't see in there. It's surrounded by these hippie freaks that we don't trust. And then there's that cabin up there on the hill with that dark door that we can't see in there. It's just darkness in

there. What's behind that door? What's in there? And every step of the way, it's just awkward tensions building. You don't know what's going to happen. It's creepy. And then if you know the history, you're like, this is Charles Manson's fucking hideout. Yeah, these are Manson cult people. This is scary. And then at the end, like I didn't know how the movie ended. I thought that the movie was going to end with Margot Robbie being brutally murdered and you know, and I have fallen in love with Margot Robbie over the last two and a half hours. She's lovely. She's beautiful.

She's kind. She's sweet. She's thoughtful. She's wonderful. She's perfect. By not giving her lines, you're able to make her whatever you want in your mind. Because she hasn't established herself as anything. You're able to idealize Margot Robbie's character in a way that you wouldn't if she was more fleshed out. Because she's not going to be everyone's cup of tea if you give her lines. But if you let her just be beautiful and sweet and lovely, then you fill in the blanks, whatever you want her to be.

And you're fearful for her. Is that last set is happening, that sequence is happening when the Mansons are coming to kill. I knew the history and I'm like, fuck, they're gonna kill that beautiful pregnant woman and write blood on the wall with her and write pig on the wall with her blood. And I'm just sad about it. I'm like, fuck, they're gonna kill that beautiful pregnant woman and write blood on the wall with her and write pig on the wall with her blood.

And I'm just sad about it. I'm like, fuck, here it comes. There's only 35 minutes left. Here it comes. And they knock on Brad Pitt's door instead. And you're like, oh, yes. Yeah. Yes.

You might as well have knocked on Luke Skywalker's door. You might as well have kicked in the back door to the Justice League. You're in some shit. And you know, the acid. So he's like he's all loopy about it. I appreciate that so much. It's funny. You know, my son and I were talking about this last week. I love Brad Pitt, but we started talking about if you not personal, not and nothing personal, just all business. If you had to pick somebody's career,

do you pick Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? And it really is the decision between, because a long time ago, probably 15 years ago, Tom Cruise made a decision, I'm an action star. I'm gonna do big movies, I'm gonna be a movie star, and I'm gonna be the last movie star. And he is, he's a straight-up But he does action movies, right and I would say the only thing outside action movie. He's really done

Tropic Thunder probably is the last one. Yeah, right Yeah, and before that he was tits out in Magnolia, but he hasn't done a movie like Magnolia since Magnolia, right? But if you're Rob, if you're Brad Pitt, you get to be a lot of different people, you know? But I, so I chose Pitt to be able to be a lot of different people and do Once Upon a Time in America, but you know, do some comedy and Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather have more. Be able to do oceans. I choose Tom Cruise.

Everyone here wants Pitt though, huh? Yeah. I mean, I guess financially. If you're gonna be that rich anyway. Yeah, I don't know. It'd be fun to be able to not be the same guy over and over. Like that would be more enjoyable. I think Tom Cruise is regarded as a good actor.

Great actor. People would say Pitt is better, but Tom Cruise is a really good actor. But when I look at like the sum of a man's accomplishments, I look at his action scenes, flying on the outside of a plane, jumping a dirt bike off a cliff and parachuting or base jumping to the ground.

Like some of that shit I would hang my hat on as things I've done in my life. And I don't know that I have the same sort of like, dude, I'm the real deal having killed it in Moneyball. He killed it in Moneyball. I love that movie. I like that movie more than most people do. Great movie.

It's just a movie. He didn't jump a dirt bike off a ramp, off a clear base jump to the ground at any point in a movie. He didn't jump a dirt bike off a ramp off a clear base, jump to the ground at any point in that movie. It's just a regular movie like the trillion movies made before and after it. I agree. No, I agree. Legends of the Falls, another good Brad Pitt one. There's one great when he fucking.

They kill his brother in World War One and he goes full Apache motor. He's cutting German hearts out and fucking scalping Germans. He's coming back to camp with German blood on his face and German scalps. He's riding a horse and everybody's like, fuck. He's done so many different Brad Pitt's. Yeah, they're both great actors. Yeah, I think I would agree with Woody though. That Mission Impossible stuff is so good

If you like action movies, you can't not like Mission Impossible He's got one of the greatest franchises ever and it's all on his back. Yeah, and he carried along guys like being rain more often and And well, but he's gonna see more kills it. That was the best third one was the best one agreed Yeah, I didn't. I've said this on the show before. I didn't appreciate Seymour Philip Hoffman until he died. And then I was like, he did this.

He did this. Oh, my god. He steals every scene he's in. This guy is great. He eats those scenes up. He was in Magnolia with Tom Cruise. Yeah, yeah, he eats us. I would eat what I think Tom Cruise is a better actor than Brad Pitt.

I think Tom Cruise is an underrated actor because of the movies he chooses to perform it. I think Brad Pitt does a lot of eating in his scenes and you know, I don't like watching people eat. That's one of my little things, but. I do. I do. He's the best eater. Oh do. He's the best eater.

Oh, no. Best eating on screen. He makes eating look cool. He makes it to him. He licks his fingers. I like that too. I don't like finger licking. That's rude.

He likes it sometimes. Chad, don't let him fool you. Love it. Love it. I like both of these guys. And nitpicking, right? Because the best careers and the best food. I mean, I'm not saying that.

I'm just saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I it, love it. I like both of those guys. And nitpicking, right? Because the best careers and great actors both. And so, but yeah, it's interesting that Tom Cruise is really, what I think he's gonna do,

I think he might do one or two more action movies. And then I think he's going to try and win an Oscar. I think this year they're giving him this lifetime achievement Oscar and for contributions to stunt work and something else. I think he wants an Oscar Oscar. An Oscar Oscar. Everybody wants to feel like a special Oscar is less or more less less less from both of you. Okay, I don't know if. If the Academy gave me a lifetime

achievement award, even though I never won an Academy award, I'd be like, ah, they kind of, this is better than anything. There are a billion of those other things, you guys. They did that with Alfred Hitchcock too. Hitchcock won his whole career, never won an Oscar until the end. And they're like, Hey, here's a consolation prize fatso. That's bullshit. I think Tom Cruise is, I think if you read anything about him, he's 100% in on whatever he does. And I think in earlier Tom Cruise, he's proved that he's a great actor. I think he's at some point going to be like,

I can't do action movies anymore. I'm going all in. I'm going all in on winning an Oscar. And I think you'll be able to. He aged super well for a long time, but age catches up to everybody. He's getting old now. He's looking old now. I hope he doesn't. I'm gonna call him fucking 58. I don't know. I'm gonna call him 62.

Is he? 62. Is that my guess? Nailed it. No, you I looked it up just now. Yeah, yeah, he looks it now. Or at least he looks like 21st century 60 now, dude At 62 to still be able to run in a suit like that though He's the best runner in Hollywood. Well, we'll give him that that's what they should give him an Oscar for

Fucking desk run, you know who's second will say Daniel Craig can just run. You know who's second? Will Smith. Daniel Craig. Yeah, he's good runner. Yeah, he's very powerful run and he's in that YouTube breaks down famous famous strides and runs. He's like now I'm going to run like Daniel Craig and it's like holy shit. You run like Daniel Craig number one,

like Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. It's not the same thing. I feel like that's the kind of thing that's the kind of thing like a like a four year old would run up to you and say, watch a roller coaster. What a weird skill set to figure out that you have, dude. It's hilarious.

Who are the bad runners? Like are there anyone where he's like, see, look at this guy, big loping, unnatural stride. Like, like, is Vin Diesel a bad runner? Kyle, you're muted, but I Vin Diesel would be my guess for a bad runner. Forrest Gump. Well, he was a tremendous runner. I can tell you, I can tell you the most uncomfortable run it was in. No, it was, it was the last Indiana Jones where they kept having Harrison Ford run. And I was like, stop it. Stop it, everybody. Why are we why is he running out of the scene?

You just put him in a golf cart. I need you all to watch. If you've never seen Steven Seagal run, then I need you to watch this quick video I just sent you. It's like 20, 30 seconds long or just watch a little of it. Watch how Steven Seagal runs. Oh yeah dude. Steven Seagal has an effeminate non sports background awkward run. Steven Seagal run? I've seen that. Oh it's a different one I was wondering when this video you said was gonna work. Kyle you're

100% right. It's bad. Yeah. Uh, he runs so badly that it makes me think his his fucking martial arts stuff is more bullshit. So then, uh, then, then a real ancient, uh, Japanese art or whatever the fuck, cause he runs so bad. It's like, yeah. Were you never in a sport that involved running? The coach never say, Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing, buddy? Hey, people are watching. We can see. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing buddy? Hey, people are watching. Tough to watch. We can see.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking at- You know you're doing this in public, right? I'm looking at Seagal. I bet he fits the description Josh made earlier,

which is full of self-confidence with no self-worth. Because inside Seagal knows he couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag. Inside, Seagal knows that he's trash, but he has to project that he's something more than that. But his particular style of martial arts made for great movies. I agree.

And look, he was well known for assaulting stunt men, for actually hitting them, actually like full on, putting people's heads through glass. He's done that before. He had to get tons of stitches. He's hurt people, injured people, messed up people's careers, but it's on screen and it looks good.

Yeah. I was waiting to see where you're going. Like if your takeaway from that was, so he really is a bad ass, I can also beat up stunt men who let me beat them up. It doesn't make me a badass. He's a coward. He's a coward in a, no,

Steven Seagal is a coward in a bully with a fragile ego that someone should have checked in the last 40 years, but nobody ever did for some reason. It's a shame that nobody ever whooped his ass. I know that one guy, LeBell or whatever, who's the famous guy. Dude, that guy in the movie knocked him out. They got choked him out.

Yeah. He, he, they had that stupid thing where, where, uh, uh, Seagal said that like he could escape from a rear naked choke and the dude choked him unconscious and skull shit his pants and that movie on the boat, it would have really raised the stage under siege. So under siege is his best movie. It made a ton of money. It really did do well after that the studios were like Giving him director credits and letting him do his own thing and waste Tens and tens of millions of dollars just to get him to make another under siege movie for them

They made another one. It's on a train this time and it's awful Steven Seagal's got a gross career. He's got like three good movies and 30 just embarrassments. And he runs like a bitch. He runs like a retard. Why are his hands doing that? You know what I hate him the most for? He spawned a whole generation of dudes with ponytails and wife beaters. Fucking God. I was like, another one.

Yeah. I like the, I like the confidence he has in his fat body. It's inspiring to walk out there that fat and be like, I'm basically like Navy seal level fit and to believe that, to believe that and be like, Vladimir Putin likes me because we're sort of like, what would you call it? Peers. We're peers in the world. He's also done my biggest old dude pet peeve. Tell me.

My biggest old dude pet peeve is, listen, dude, you get to a certain age, I'm talking to you, Nick Cage, you can't go jet black hair anymore. Jet black hair and jet black beard. Look, your young hair does not hide your old face. It does look like soy sauce hair. It's the fucking craziest jet black jet black wrinkle. You're like, dude, what do you think is especially on the face? It's like, what do you think? Zach, show that image. That's one of my favorites. No, I hate Steven Seagal. Like the man,

like I can appreciate like those three movies he made that are decent because he really goes hard when he when he fake breaks an arm or when he does that, does that like judo type move where he like bends their hand and makes them flip and stuff. That one he carries through. It really does look real at times. It looks very violent. You know, compound fractures left and right. It's fun to watch him bully people, but he's a scumbag. He also sexually assaulted some women. I think he had some issues where he was holding personal assistants hostage at his place. Leave Nick Cage out of this. All right. He's a goat. All right. That man, that was for a role. That was for a role.

Give me one or two gray hairs. That's all. Maybe he was playing Steven Seagal. For my new role. What did he do here? How did he get that hair back? That's a wig. That looks painted on. In front of it for a long time he drew in with Sharpie.

And I think it's David's. It's not David's. Sharpie. It's Rob Snyder or David Spader. Somebody tells the story about working on a movie with john leguizamo john leguizamo tells the story about working on under siege with him I was and he's bullying everybody being a piece of shit. He came in and said something and and I'm a laughed in his face again it was a joke

but all meant it so he like slam chokes Liguazamo into a wall and threatens it. And so after that, Liguazamo hates him. He's like, yeah, the next day he's like, yeah, let's shoot it. Let's shoot it here. And they're trying to tell him, they're trying to tell him, but he won't listen. No, let's shoot it. It's like, all right. And he does the scene and he walks through the door, but that was the door that led off the side of the ship. So he fell right into the ocean and it comes up out of of the water all splashy and choking and his hair's running from that Sharpies to fill it in. That's a very Mr. Magoo door to even have.

You know, next time let's not make the unlocked directly into the ocean door. They're filming on a boat. They're filming on a boat. Hey, I'm just gonna let my dog out of the room. Hold on. Yeah, go ahead. Everybody that tells a story about Stephen Seagal, it's a story about how he's a scumbag

piece of shit. Yeah, no one has good things to say about that guy. What role was Cage? Why was he all black haired? Oh, I have no idea. He does so many movies now. You can't keep up with him. Who's that?

Cage. Cage does five movies a year. There was one that I just saw called Surfer that I thought when I'm scrolling at night with my wife in my back of my head, I'm like, well, I'll watch that in the hotel room. You know, that's what I watch it. So he's got one out. I think it's new called Surfer. Yeah. And I think I'm going to check out. I'm like, I like Nick Cage too. I love the effort.

Yeah. I'm a sucker for Nick Cage in the hotel room. Oh, what do you like this? All right. So let me say, let me read the Surfer is a 2024 psychological thriller film directed by et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It follows a man who plans to surf at an idyllic beach with his son, yet he becomes thwarted and tormented by the locals.

The locals don't want him to surf their beach. And it turns into a life and death struggle. That's real surfing. That's what that's like. Exactly, I knew you got a little inkling into this. That's a thing, right? Where like, locals are shitty about certain spots. Really? Yeah, servers are tremendously territorial. like locals are shitty about certain spots. And really?

Yeah, servers are tremendously territorial. And you'd think that like, if you're tough, you can deal with it, but you can't. They do with numbers, they attack your car in the parking lot, it's a problem. Yeah, but why it's the ocean? There isn't enough room for everybody? Because there's a limited number of waves

and a limited number of opportunities. The waves are only good, I'm gonna guess waves get good every two weeks, like exceptionally good, three weeks. So for the waves to be peaking at the same time that you're available to surf is uncommon. And then that's when everyone goes out and surfs, all of a sudden it's like, this guy's not from around here.

This is my backyard. I get priority on this thing. And everyone else like you is like, no, the ocean is kind of a public resource. There isn't anything much more public resource than the ocean, but not to the people that live there. They feel like they have a special claim on it. Have you experienced that?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's huge. I've been on both sides of it. I've been the local and I've been the car windows. He smashed. I've never smashed a car window. Bike lock Woody. No, no. The extent that I've ever been, I was never big and strong when I was a surfer, but I would snake people. I'd be much, I used to be a good surfer. What's that? And what snake? Oh, oh, I'm sorry. That's when the wave breaks. You put a snake in their car.

Amazing. The person who is closest to the white water has priority on that wave. And if someone drops in in front of you, then that's a, that's snaking them. It's a very rude thing to do. And you're kind of destroying the wave behind you, you know, so that they can't enjoy what they otherwise would have

by dropping in in front of them. But if you're a local, you're like, this is a really good wave. And this is my backyard. So I'm going to drop in even though I can see you. You're standing up first. Wow. Do people do things to other people in the water outside of snaking? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would feel threatened at times. I've never been beat up because I was a coward and I was 15. You're like, there was a grownup who used to wear a weightlifting belt when he went surfing and he would bully the fuck out of everybody. Yeah. And, uh, they call them bones. I don't even know his real name.

Bones was just a fucking bully where I was from and, uh, he had a longboard so he could catch waves farther out than everyone who had a short board like me. And you'd see him and you like, don't even fucking try. Bones will run your ass over. Even though you're a child, he will hurt you. He's done it so many times. He never did it to me because I didn't challenge Bones.

Oh, how do bones rule? Cool guy. The weak bones. He looked like Paul Kogan out there. What was the rationale for a weightlifting, like a head lift belt? I don't know, I didn't talk to Bones. My grownup theory is he had a bad back. That it helped him, he felt like it helped him

when he was packed all the time. Oh, weightlifting belt, I heard weight belt. No, no, no, you said weight lifting. You said it all right. I just misunderstood and I pictured in my head one of those weight vests. I thought he was working with 45 pounds on his chest like a, like a mad man. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. He had on a leather old school weightlifting dog, the kind that's bigger in the back, not like a solid. Yeah. And, uh, and I don't know

that just what he would board shorts and a weightlifting belt and a long board that he'd run your ass over. His longboard must have weighed 60 pounds. My board weights seven. Like mine was a fragile little shortboard that you try to fling around and he had this weapon that he'd surf on. Do you still surf?

No, I'm three hours from the beach and out of shape. But I- Surf shape perhaps. Out of surf shape, yeah. I have been surfing as an adult though. We did these trips 10 years ago to the Dominican Republic and such. It was cool. Yeah.

There's so much bullying happening on the high seas. Whoa! That's crazy to me. It's one of the most bullied environments ever. I'm not scared to admit that I would say the ocean, I think scare is the wrong word, but it makes me real nervous. Yeah. You don't know what's in the deep. It's just so big and so vast and so powerful and so undiscovered. I'm always nervous in the ocean.

And I know that makes me a big giant pussy, but I had somebody tell me, you know, I don't know if you know this, a long time ago, I did some shows on for shark week for discovery, right? And I had somebody tell me, because I was just, I was like, well, Santa Monica, I go, I've been in the water in Santa Monica, but I'm not in your sharks. And they were like, the guy said, if you've been waist level in Santa Monica, you've been within four feet of a shark. And I said, no way. And they were like, a hundred percent. They just are not interested. And the, but, but it was crazy to me, but you know, I talked to all these guys that were like, yeah, we just push them away when

they come up to us. We just put our hand by their, and just push them away. Like Chris Pratt with the velociraptor. They just push them away. Fishermen hate surfers. The two are like mortal enemies. I don't know. Do they think we scare their fish away so they would do shit like cast at us?

I had a time where I would carry a knife just to cut the fucking line because they keep casting at me and I'm like, well, now you lose your lore. That's it. That's what it is. You know what those fuckers would do? They put chum in the water. This is the arms race that would happen at the 14th Street Pier in Ocean City, New Jersey. That's crazy!

Yeah, yeah, and you'd see sharks, you'd see sharks, like it worked. You should have been a technical advisor for Nick Cage's new movie. You've got some stories. They don't work all that in. Throwing chum around a bunch of 15-year-old surfing is pretty sinister. It's like, I hope one of you is eaten. Yeah, that feels a little over the top for just your a I want to fish there. The pier was a private club. So one thing I used to like to do is at the top of the pier near the beach

part, you could climb over the barbed wire and get on to their pier, which had a locked door and I would just jump on the pier and they'd be like, hey, you can't be here and I'd run down the pier. They'd be like, get him, get him. And I remember one time they're like, Jack, get that guy, get that guy. Jack was like the athletic guy. But this is, I'm like 20 at this point.

Like I'm, I fucked Jack up. Anyway, and then I just jump off the end of the pier. Be like, huh, you can't get me. This is what I do. So I would run on their pier all the time just to jump off the end because it was my little act of rebellion. Would they shake their fist at you?

Yes, they would. That's how they shake their fist, drop their lines. When you said fishers, initially I was picturing like guys on a boat who's like, Hey, it's our livelihood. You're messing with it, but it, it's just guys after work on a fishing pier. Yeah. Yeah. What a bunch of assholes. Can they not just do it off the other side of the pier? From their perspective, it's like I can't move my pier, why don't you surf somewhere else? Oh yeah. But from the surfers perspective, it's like no what happens is the sand gets a little higher because there's pilings there and that causes the waves to break by the pier nicely.

So we can't, the waves are better by the pier, so that's where we're gonna be, and they don't like each other. I can, I'm putting myself on both sides of this equation, and I see how this created a problem, because if I were fishing, I would want those fuckers out of the, I'd be like, you got the whole ocean,

and you're here wrecking my fucking Mackerel catch. Jokes on you. Your peer made the waves better here and it's a magnet for surfers. Man. I love learning the little in fighting. I just don't know anything about the old Mackerel catch. Huh?

Yeah. Trying to find the Mackerel catch. You know, I'm, I'm somewhat of an angler. That's how I know all the terminology. Trying to get Mackerel notorious for swimming right around the 14th Pier and oceans of New Jersey. Yeah. Is there anywhere that does artificial waves?

Yes. Yeah. As I've hit adulthood, they do artificial waves that are really good. It used to be artificial waves were shady little things that you probably wouldn't even want to surf very much. But now artificial waves are dope, maybe the best waves, very consistent and repeatable. Reading the ocean and getting yourself to the right spot to catch the right wave is an art in itself. But when it's artificial waves, it's the same every single time. They could paint the bottom and you just sit right there where

the wave is going to be perfect for you. Have you ever seen where they uh they tow the guys out in jet skis to those giant waves? Yeah that's controversial. 90 foot waves. Riding big waves, the hardest part of it is catching big waves and catching them well enough that you're not on the lip and like free falling down. You got to get in there and not at the very tippy top of the wave. You should be standing, but not at the top. You should be standing like two thirds as you do your drop in. And Laird Hamilton pioneered the whole like wakeboarding thing. I'm not really into that kind of surfing.

And he wrote these giant waves, waves no one rode before by skipping the hard part. So all the surfers who like played by these self-imposed rules are like the fuck like bro you're all right I get it you rode the biggest wave but that's not even surfing you're cheating. Wow explain how he's cheating. Because catching the wave is the hardest part big waves move fast so you have to paddle these really long like nine foot boards they call them guns and you have to paddle this gun and stand up on it early enough that you're not on the lip of the wave where you free fall and it becomes really hard to ride. And he instead would tow into the

wave perfectly going faster than anyone could paddle, making him surf bigger waves. But the limitation was never the surfing talent, It was the catching the wave talent. And he just skipped the hard part. And suddenly he's like the biggest big wave surfer ever. And we're like, yeah, by cheating, you know, like you brought an aluminum bat to this game. What's the biggest wave that you've caught? And I really, I don't think I've ever asked this question, but I've always want to know what does it sound like in there? Does it almost sound like in there?

Does it almost sound like nothing? No, it's loud. So the biggest wave I've ever called is like double overhead, which is not impressive. Like it's a big wave, but amongst surfers, that's not like an extraordinary size. And it goes, it's like screaming at you. There's the thunder of the wave hitting the ground

right by your feet and the hollow of the suck. And then when at the end of it, it spits. Like there's a really powerful force as the wave closes and it wants to sort of knock you off balance, but you should be ready for that. That's fascinating. When you get barreled. Yeah.

When I see them out in the open ocean surfing those giant waves, they're like 80 to a hundred foot waves. It's crazy. I've never done anything like that. Yeah. Oh, I mean, they're using jet skis and stuff to make that happen. What do you mean to get out to the wave? They're using jet skis. The whole thing, the whole thing. Yeah. So the jet ski has a boogie board on the back of it attached. And the surfer might like either ride on there on his stomach.

So he's laying on his board on the boogie board. It has these grips on the side and they just sort of ride out there on his stomach. So he's laying on his board on the boogie board. It has these grips on the side and they just sort of ride out there on their bellies. And then to get towed into the wave, it's not too much different than water skiing, right? They have a rope and the guy operating the jet ski is usually a surfer too.

He knows exactly where he wants to put his surfer and then he lets go and go surfing. But like I said, that's kind of a cheat code for a really big wave. But so they don't do that in competitions, in competitions you have to catch the wave. They're also by the beach, so the crowd can watch. Yeah, I don't know of any competitions that involve toe-in.

It could exist, but also those, it's hard to throw big wave competitions because that stuff doesn't even happen every year. Like that, I can't pronounce these places, but like in Portugal, what is it? Nazir or something, that really big one? Portugal is what I'm finding when I'm looking at giant waves here, yeah.

Yeah. There's a lighthouse there and the- Yeah, yeah, that's it. It has so much scale to the terror that they're riding. Right, but you can't just be like, all right, you know, July 14th, we're gonna throw a surfing competition because it'll likely be flat. Yeah. But isn't there a time of year when the waves come in like you?

Like this is the big wave time of year. Sure, sure. Like, you know, the North Shore in Hawaii is a winter thing. So you can increase your odds. But if you want to get like a big wave, you know, the kind that happens every second or third year, you kind of have to wait for it. What is it the Eddie Aku Memorial? That's the big wave surfing competition in Hawaii. And, you know, for that, all those surfers are just kind of on standby, you know, they're like, Yeah, it might be this weekend, we'll see what rolls in. Like, okay, everyone, you know, looks like it might be four days from now be available. And that's how it's held. Wow. I always thought that the tides were controlled or were acting because the moon was, you know, moving and as it moved, it moved the tides, but it's not the moon. The moon creates a bulge around the center of the earth of water and we're rotating through the bulge.

So here's something I heard. I heard this on YouTube. This isn't like from my surfing experience, but like everyone knows the moon has a gravitational pull on the water, right? So it like kind of makes it go up. But what I heard is that gravitational pull on the water is really, really mild.

That if it just pulled on it once, you'd hardly notice. Instead, it's more like pushing your hand in the bathtub. If you do it once, not a lot of water moves. But if you keep doing it with the sink, then just your hand in the bathtub can make a pretty massive difference in the tides. And I think that's comparable to how the moon works on the tides.

Self-reinforcing. Are these big waves any harder to ride than the small waves? Or is it just the, okay. Oh yeah, you go a lot faster, which makes the bottom turn at the bottom much more difficult. And the waves are not perfectly flat. So it's lost when you're watching it,

especially if you don't really know what you're looking at. But these guys can catch air on the flat part of the wave, right? They just get airborne. They're flying through the air for like, whatever, six feet or something. And then they land again and they have to, it's a lot to manage.

Yeah, like the little lumps on the big waves. Yeah. In the sense of on the big waves. Yeah. In the sense of scale, it's lost, but it's a big deal for them to manage it. And then they have to hit their bottom turn at high speed, which is hard. How fast, when you say high speed, how fast do you think they're going?

I don't even know. 50 miles an hour? No fucking way. I wonder if Google. Five zero? That's what I said. Yeah. On the surfboard. How fast do you think they're going? I need to keep your zero. That's what I said. Yeah. On the surfboard.

How fast do you keep your feet on there? I don't get it. Oh, I think surfing can involve speed. It's a 50 miles per hour grip. Oh, maybe grip tape. That's is that how you see miles an hour? They put wax on the board. You go the way to the board table.

That's how the hardcore guys do it. You just if it's a weight board like Laird Hamilton did, there's foot straps that they. How do you hit the water at 50 and not break everything? The water's hard. Oh, not it. Not I do. Water skiers fall at that speed all the time. You can skip a time or two, but skip a

Okay. I hadn't thought of that. What I'm all right. So my biggest. The meniscus is broken right because it's moving so it's not like fall it's not like jumping off the meniscus isn't that like what's in your knee it's the talking about when you fill a graduated cylinder it's what is that called is that calling it is okay Taylor, don't just make up. Okay. It's the meniscus. God, you're here. The meniscus is in the knee. This also there's another thing that that's a, it, when you fill up a graduated something with water or you fill anything with water, you know how

the water, if you overfill it will go above the lip and it'll be like this. Yeah. That is the meniscus. It is created by the surface tension tension of the water I thought that was why those super high dive guys They'll have someone with the hose like hitting where they're gonna land to like break it up, right? Or is that no no So that the reason that they do that is that when the water doesn't have any ripples on it It is really difficult to tell your height. So there sometimes like a cliff diver will throw a rock in in front of them so that the water is

all wavy and they know when they're about to hit. I am not a high diver but I've done a little of it and it helps a ton. Also I fly a paramotor over the water and I've flown over perfectly still water. And I was like, holy shit, I never really bought into that. You can't tell your altitude thing. What paramotor pilots like to do is drag their feet on the water. And I'm like, I literally can't tell if I'm at 12 feet or two.

This is so perfectly smooth and it's reflective. I was like, I don't know if I'm about to touch the water because it was that smooth. So that's also in Olympic competitions. They have a little water sprayer, like just a little jet that pours into the ground and it's so that the water has ripples and they can tell their altitude.

Okay. Boy, I'm learning a lot about water. I didn't think the show was gonna be me talking so much. I used to. No, you're filling us in. Now that I pulled up a compilation of this and now I wouldn't have asked like the big versus small wave speed thing because I can see now like these guys are blasting down these waves. They're twice as fast. They're flying. Yeah and it's hard to get

a lot of practice in hitting the on a big wave server. The hardest part is the bottom turn. It's really the only part they go down the face and that's a thing. But then at the bottom, they have to hit their turn. And I mean, you just only get so many reps making 50 mile an hour bottom turns. What happens if the wave? What I see is that when the wave crashes on top of somebody and they're getting like drug along fucking coral and they have to hold their breath.

That to me is the most terrifying thing because I've watched surfer videos and they'll be stuck like under the wave in this blue turbulent water, a couple feet above the coral. And they're just like, hadn't let me go yet, still holding. And it's like, fuck, I'm holding my breath with them and I'm ready share and I'm out of breath

What I just googled quick bottom turns and got something. I didn't want to see at all Big problem now the suits have life vests built into it. They have like a... Oh really? Yeah. What is the name? They like a compressed CO2 cartridge that inflates their wetsuits and it helps them to get back to the surface.

But the old school big wave surfers, they'd get held down for an entire wave, which could be a minute, get a breath, and then the second one hits them. So they may have had one breath in two minutes, it's a problem, people die. Well, also, those people have to gather themselves emotionally in that first minute, because panic means death.

So to be able to realize I can't go up, and I don't know how long I'm not going to go up but I have to relax or I'm going to die is not a skill set I have. Yeah, yeah. If you if you're panicking, you're going to burn through your oxygen a lot faster. So you kind of got to just chill until it's time to get back to the surface. And you can get so flipped around this has even happened to me that you don't know which way up is

So hopefully your your ankles still attached to the surfboard and you can follow that to the top It doesn't try to find me they make a they make a similar vest for motorcyclists that like yeah It's out when you come off your bike you attach yourself to the bike I don't know how all of them work Maybe there's a system that has some sort of sensor But you attach yourself to a bike kind of the way the treadmill has that safety cord. When you pull it, it turns up. Well, this thing inflates your vest to protect you. I saw a cop pull a motorcyclist off his bike the other day and didn't let him detach it.

It puffs out and the cop chokes him to death because the guy can't fucking move and can't get out of the position he's in on the ground. The cops like, I'm going to choke you out. And he does. He chokes him to death. Oh my goodness. I was waiting for you to finish, but I'm like, that sucks. That's a $600 mistake he's made. That too. That also sucks. He's out of his life and $600. The resale value is ruined too. You can't. Yeah. I heard the stuff back in the suit. Yeah. I'm trying to find examples of famous surfers who died from sharks, but this is tough because it's a lot of drowning and getting smashed into rocks or a guy getting his leash caught on something in the deep and not being able to orient himself to release it and then drowning because of that.

Looks like sharks are not a bit... some lady got her whole arm bitten off. Bethany. That little girl. Bethany, yeah. Have you guys... Yeah, but she's still drinking. When I did the shark week, have you guys heard of a guy named Paul DeGelder? I have not. Paul was the equivalent of an Australian Navy seal and got his, I believe, left arm, left leg, basically mid-quad down. He's got to take...

Right arm and right leg. Right arm and right leg. By a bull shark. By a bull shark, okay. Don't you mislead our audience. If you see some of the video of his friend saving his life on the boat, but I met him on that shark week, there's a video of him being bitten and pulled under, popping back up and pulling back under because they were shooting the, they were doing some sort of nighttime drill and they were shooting it from the boat. So they have it. I watched it with him. He's such an amazing dude. I bet you he would come on the show. He's a fucking fascinating guy. But but he and and but he's a shark. He's a shark conservationist now he swims the sharks all the time.

Oh, that's not the angle I would take. I would be like a shark killer. I'd be a reaper. Yeah, that's not him. He's a slow learner. And he's a vegan now. Yeah, dude, he went. I've been on a purely shark diet.

He took a bunch of wrong lessons from this. Are you seeing a picture of him? He's jacked. Oh yeah, I saw him you seeing a picture of him? He's Jack. Oh yeah, I watched, I saw him, I watched videos of him and yeah, yeah, pretty awful. But he's an amazing dude. But you know, they, he said that when he went to swim back to the boat, he went to put his arm above to swim and just this little stubborn came up. Yeah. swim and just this little stubborn came up. Yeah, yeah.

But to talk to him about the attack, and like, who he was before and who he was after is fascinating. And he's always trying to get me to go down to Mexico and swim with great whites and what the fuck? No, are you insane? He is he's insane. He's insane. He's insane. If I were actually if I were going to say he always wants to go hot. And I tell it, no, he does.

I would go to Mexico with that dude and just flex on him. Like, look how fast I think that you are. And see, like, you know, there was one guy that I could swim with sharks with. It's Mr. Can only go in a circle like because I'll be out of there way quicker dude no he's like legit with his things his add-ons as I call them for his leg arm or leg they have so many different ones he swims dude he you know always got like go-go gadget leg you know one we were so we shot this,

the show was called Shark After Dark and it was like a late night show we did on Shark Week. And on the same episode he was on, the first night I met him, Tara Reid was on. And he was wearing this, you know, James Bond villain glove, but he was like, I go, what's the deal with that? He goes I can set it however I want to set it I could crush your hand. I could just shake it nice. He goes there's a lot of different settings

So we're sitting there and it's after the show and we're all having some tequila And Tara Reed comes by and she sees him and he's sitting there and he's got his glove and she goes to him she goes Why she was a little fucked up. She goes, why are you wearing one glove? And he goes, oh. Like to look down on him? Yeah, no, she was just drunk. Okay.

But she was like, why are you wearing one glove? Okay. And he goes, oh, I got bitten by a shark. And she goes, why'd you do that? Solid question. I want you. And he was like, I don't know how to answer that question. But yeah, I want to hear her keep roasting him be like, so now like you

still swim with them and don't eat animals. They're like animals. What is with the glove? There is a bill doesn't know he's missing the arm. There's a clip from that show. It's me. They were on the show promoting Sharknado and I was interviewing her in iron Zering. And she said she I watched her before the show,

take a couple pills and down a glass of wine. And so I had no idea what was gonna happen. So mid show, I'm talking to Ayan and she's getting a little loopy and she starts to, you can see this clip, it's online and it's live. So she starts saying, you starts saying, I Googled whale shark because I didn't want to seem stupid when I came out here.

She goes, I thought a whale shark was when a whale and a shark had sex. Ian's been doing this press tour, so I'm sure he's like, here we go. She goes, but it turns out a whale is an animal and a shark is a mammal. And the directors in my ear going go to commercial, go to commercial. And you see me look right at the camera and go

right back at her. This is great TV for me, dude. They keep telling me, go to commercial and I just keep looking at straight into the camera going. This show is about teaching people and this is a learning moment. If you Google if you Google Tara Reid, Josh Wolf, Shark After Dark. She is like legit. And I and I talked to him afterwards. He was like, yeah, this has been the whole tour for us right now, dude.

Yeah. It's just a total nightmare. Was this like the same era that she was doing that show on MTV, like Teradise, which was just her getting trashed and like bothering locals all over the world. Yeah. And it's almost like she went and got a boob job, but got each titty done by a different doctor. Yeah. You know, I mean, yes, why do they look so, yeah, it's like, you've got to go to the

same person for that. So they make it look the same. Yeah. He kind of, you don't want to do that in installments. Yeah. You don't want to go to dr One titty at a time They're so bad and like I bet I think they're fixed now

She had that wardrobe malfunction where she had her titty hanging out and everybody's everybody start snapping like super Yeah, oh they love me my public No, because like that was so many surgeries in it that's like I was like, Oh, nobody's going to tell her. Finally, some like woman runs up and goes, you're fucking titties out. Yeah, dude. Excuse me, miss your titties out. How about some? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was that whole shark week show.

I did it for two years in a row. I was like, Oh, I'm going to be a shark. I'm going to be a shark. I'm going to be a shark. I'm going to be a shark. I'm going to be week show, I did it for two years in a row, was so great. I got to swim with sharks. It was so, all the stuff that we got to do on that show. They also let me do one for Naked and Afraid where I interviewed the contestants after the show. And so one of the things that I would do is I would say, hey, I would tell the crew, I'm going to eat what they ate.

So one show I had to eat these giant live cockroaches was one of the grossest things I've ever done. But to be able to interview those people and kind of do that stuff with them was kind of cool also. Oh yeah, that's gotta be fun. Not the road genie. If you were going on naked in Fray Taylor, well, maybe not you because I don't know how, well, yeah, yeah, I guess you were.

I'll ask everyone, I suppose. Would you grow out the pubic hair for the warmth or would you keep it as it normally is, sort of styled and quaffed and manicured up? Would you want the full big daddy bush? Cause maybe that adds a little bit of privacy too. Cold night, we'd shrink right up in there. I think I would at least trim the hedges

immediately around to maximize the look of the length. Are you going the other way? You're presenting. You're going into the wilderness for two weeks and you have razor bumps. Are you going the other way? You're presenting. You're going into the wilderness for two weeks and you have razor bumps. Like you're getting an infection. There's two people. There's a guy and a girl, right? They partner together.

Yeah. I have to present the best version. I would definitely let it be a little chubbed up. I'd be taken my one bring along item would be my blue chew. I got to stay vascular. I brought a knife. I don't want to talk about it. I hope you brought something for clean water. I did not bring anything for clean water.

Like laying in a dirty swamp and you're asking me like, just like thought experiment, like, do you think even with that knife you could stop me? I'm going full bush. Yeah I'm going full bush and I would also grow out my beard as long as possible because I feel like the more body hair I have the more like have you ever seen a mosquito try and bite like a Greek person's arm? Not a chance. Not a fucking chance. Like, that's what you want. You want that protective hair, that protective coat. Yeah.

Because the back of my neck, like if I don't take care of this at haircuts, it just kind of becomes like upper, like it goes to like the hump. It's a mullet that goes to between your shoulder plates. It goes to, well, not that far down because I don't have any back hair and so I wouldn't be protected there. So I'd have to fashion some sort of array of leaves as protection. But pubic hair 100% I'm letting it go crazy and beard I'm going crazy. I'm even going to let it like go to where it gets to like don't we have a razor sponsor tonight? Shouldn't we be saying we

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You get the stick, it really adds up. It's a meal. That's a... They're filling. And Woody, I think that's the nine pill bottle you have there. And so those are the smaller pills. The larger pills, they're a little bit larger. They're just slightly larger.

But you get a nice six pills instead of nine pills. It actually works. If it didn't work, we wouldn't have made it fucking six pills. We would have saved ourselves a lot of heartache. We had to go to a veterinary supplier to get those pills. Those are not. those are huge. Is there a group of people that want to come more? Thousands.

Josh, you need to know the story of how this product was created. Okay. Yeah. Like, like we're in the WhatsApp or something and Kyle's like, Hey, you know what low key for the past couple of weeks, I've been working on a formula to make me come more. And Taylor is like, what? Me too. It was this, you put your chocolate

in my peanut butter story. And then they start comparing notes, measuring the effectatiousness of this thing until they came up with this formula that makes you come more. And I swear to God, it's comically effective. I swear to God. It is-

And at the same time we were working, I was working with a guy named Derek from More Plates, More Dates. That's his YouTube channel. He's been on Rogan a few times. He does, he knows a lot about steroids and sports and pharmaceuticals in general. And he runs a business called Gorilla Mind and a website that does tons of different

Supplements really interesting stuff and he doses them much better than like G anything you get at GMC It's just someone who he's making products for himself and then marketing and selling them and I was working with him to do this body Transformation thing I was doing and I was like embarrassed to message him. I was like So I've got this idea for a product. I think should come more like more volume. And I don't know, would you be interested in like making and producing a product like that?

And then I see like Derek is recording a message. And I was like, this is gonna be embarrassing. This is gonna be embarrassing. And like 10 minutes later, he sent me a five minute voice note. All right, so I got a lot of friends who are also into volume maxing Check out their formulas as well. Just send me over where everything you've got

And we could definitely have this, you know, that's a thing on the shelf soon. Yeah I mean you got a bottle of it. We're the industry standard. I just swear to God we are The industry there's that we have like one competitor I am forget their major load home Lock and load and major load There there, you know, they got nothing on us. I haven't even heard of major load the one I heard of I think it starts with an s but uh R is really like it's basically the most effectatious dose you can take of everything That's why it's six pills a day. You wouldn't get more from seven Look, we really maxed out the formula and it's what she wouldn't survive it. It's hilariously effective It helps with the pearlescence of your cum the volume of your cum the propulsion of your cum

Now wait a second for taste the pre come propulsion. We come. Oh my god activation is off the chart. You're going to be absolutely leaking Josh lubricate now like some advanced hydraulic machinery now propulsion. I'm interested in. Oh, yeah, because I'm at an age now where it's less of a cum shot and more of a cum drop. I killed you a cat. You know what I mean? It just kind of goes-

It should get you a bottle. Would you take the bottle if we gave it to you? I swear to God. Sure. All right. Let's get a bottle sent to Josh. Zach, be sure to get Josh's shipping address before you head down. My wife's going to be like, what the fuck is going on?

She will literally notice. I swear to God, there will be a point where she's like- Don't tell her. What is all this? Don't tell notice. Like I swear there will be a point where she's like, what is all this? Don't tell her. This is why. This is why. I had this same experience.

But my wife saw the ginormous load and she thought it was her performance. She's like, I really knocked it out of the park today. Teddy's wife taking credit for my hard work. My ingenuity. All right. And that's true. We've sold this for four years. Woody's wife doesn't know he's out. She doesn't know.

He has to sprint to the front door for every research they do. Oh. You can grab him before she gets in. I didn't tell her at first. I just let her think that she was really getting better at this in her 50s. Yeah.

I'm like, I'm really get my stride, babe. I'm not telling my wife. No, it's not like like this is a month supply. You're going to start to notice the biggest changes week two, week three. Like you'll be won't be. It's not one of those things where it's like, hey, on your fifth bottle, you're going to know. Like, no, before this is gone, you're going to be you will forget that you're taking it

and then you'll come and be like, what the, oh yeah. The commonwealth. Hey guys, I got to run. I'm catching a plane tonight, but thank you so much again for having me on. I always love talking to you guys. Always. Man, take care. Where are you going?

Where are you going to get any shows coming up? I'm in Louisville this weekend. And then I'm taking my first vacation in like two years. My wife and I are going to Greece. Nice. It'll be fun. Oh, yeah. Have fun. We need to get him the lock and load ASAP. Yes. Yeah, I leave. I leave the second week in July. Give us your Greek address. We'll have it sent. Send it to Santorini. I'll pick it up. Perfect. All right, guys. Take your man. Later, guys. Always close your browser. Look at that. Look at this. Whoa. Your audio is good. It's like a NASCAR pit stop. We just come in and out. like a NASCAR pit stop. We just come in and out. That was well done Zach. That was slick. No, we've never had a machine to that. Well, Chris, how are you, man? I'm doing fantastic. Appreciate you having me on again. Always fun to be here. Yeah, always a good time. Love your

background. There's a lot to look at. And I also have that hat, but I don't have the confidence for it. That was my wall of shame of all the different, some of the different things that we've done in cannonballing. So they make them in my size. Did you set the back and forth cannonball record since the last time you were on the show? We did, yes. I had a couple of records actually. We did the, me and a couple of buddies of mine did the fastest crossing in North America by land in history. The only people who have ever done it in a single day. We were wheels in the sand in Jacksonville, Florida on the beach, two wheels in the sand in San Diego, California in 23 hours and 35 minutes.

Good golly. What's the average speed on that? I think our average speed worked out to 104, which includes multiple 50 gallon fuel stops and traffic stop and I blew a tire out at 169 miles an hour in Arizona. Another question, another stat, what was the top speed reach? Was it the 169? 169 yeah, the car said 170 GPS at 169 and that seems to be the point at which the tire decided to exit the chat What kind of car was it? We have my buddy Bronson Justice coolest name in the world He had a 2017 Chevy SS with a built-out LS3 nice cam in it 50 gallon tank all the countermeasures with a built out LS three, nice cam in it, 50 gallon tank, all the countermeasures. It was set up nice, lowered a couple of inches, six speed.

It was basically a Corvette with a four door body on it. And I love that thing. So we did that one way, then we turned around and went back, set the two way record. And then just a couple months later, my friends Wes Vi and Nick Krieger, Nick has a Saab five 2003 sob nine five. Probably the best set up cannonball I've ever been in and

we left Red Ball Garage went to Portofino back to Red Ball set the two-way cannonball record by about three hours. Nailed that down to sixty-one hours and fifty-nine minutes. So, you went, wait, so you went there back again and there again? Exactly on both runs. Yeah, we went Jacksonville to San Diego, back to Jacksonville, and then we went New York to LA, back to New York. We spent three minutes at the Portofino in LA before we were back on the road again,

which was kind of crazy because usually that's the end point. So there's a big party. That's kind of the place we hang up. So I had driven a lot and fell asleep. So it was my sleep shift. I just kind of wake up sort of dreamily at the Portofino. We kind of stagger out of the car, take a selfie and back in it and we were gone again.

We, I'd say we ran the same red light going in as we ran running out. That rocks. That sounds so fun. It was a lot of fun. I mean, you know, it was a good bunch of guys to do it with. And I just got lucky to have some really great co-drivers and some really good cars. And yeah, it was exciting.

You know, I mean, we, you know, in the Cannibal community, records are fine, but it's never anything personal. It was just something to try to do it. You know, the people who had the previous record were giving us tips to help us break that one, just like we're helping the people trying to break the next one. It's all the cops on your ass. No, no, nobody. Nobody ever does that. There's never a call in. We're all on the same team.

I do. I feel it every time I see I'll take off. I'm like, they're doing it. Yeah. How shitty would that be? It cost me no object. What would you do for this setup? Like I've wondered if a van makes sense. I know you're averaging one averaging 105 and vans don't typically go that, but it could have a ginormous fuel tank. It could have a sleeping quarters. You

could maybe have three drivers. What's perfect? Well, perfect has been the quest for many years. They have done it in vans. Some of the first ones were done in a van. Now we do have three drivers on all of these as well. Just somebody sleeping in the back seat. Ultimately, whatever comfort you might get sleeping in a van or a limbo or something like that, you lose the speed and the efficiency. Yes, you can carry more gas, but you're gonna have to stop more because it's a big van.

It really just comes down to discomfort. So three guys in a pretty sleek, fast four door car, or at least a car with a decent back seat in it, and just sleep slumped over the spare tire and whatever you can do. We sacrificed the comfort on the sleep cycle for a faster, smaller car. You're less of a visible target to the cops.

You can hide behind a truck easier. It's harder for people to call you in, plus every little bit of gap, the smaller of a lane gap you can make between the bread truck and a station wagon, whatever, we kind of sacrifice the comfort. And you are right, more gas and more sleep would be better, but we sacrifice the speed.

So we just go small and just suck it up. The Saab was not an easy car to sleep in. The back seats are pretty vertical. So we pretty much just went 65. But what counting the time off probably 70 hours straight, nobody really slept, we just push through and send it you know, you get little naps here and there. But when your buddy's driving 150 bobbing in and out of traffic. And another thing,

I've got some great video there somewhere. But like, when you're driving on the highway at 6570 and you hit like an expansion gap on a bridge or a little pothole, I mean, you feel it. It's a little bump. But if you tag another hundred miles an hour on top of that, it's like hitting a curb. I mean, it becomes violent. We hit a bump just on the interstate so hard. One of my guys sprained his ankle.

Like when he saw the bump coming, he braced himself against the floorboard and we hit it so hard it rolled his ankle in the car. Like it's a lot more violent in there than you would think, especially for 50, 60 hours straight of doing that. But we had some good times though. I mean, there was a couple of funny incidences with the countermeasures. We had a couple of call-ins.

We did get busted once by the cops, but thankfully we're only going 97 at the time and didn't get too bad of a ticket. And when the tire went out, even it wasn't a, we lost a big chunk of tread, threw it out of balance as it was deflating, but we didn't like, it wasn't like in the movies where it blows out and the car wipes out. So we got really lucky, but there were some good stories came out of it though. So I did this during COVID, these record breaking things. No, no, we just do them in the middle of the night when nobody's on the road. But yeah, the COVID records were fantastic. You know, Doug and Arnie seized the moment,

several other people did and just laid down some times that I don't believe will ever be matched. This was, that's why we did the two-way, that one-way record that Doug and Arnie said, nobody's going to beat that. What is it? They did it 25 hours and 39 minutes, New York to LA. And you were 29. Well, no, we were 61, 59, two way. But I thought you said 29 was the one way time.

One way record is 25 hours, 39 minutes. What was your time? Our time two way was 6159. We did a 30 17 and a 3142 to do that one. I don't know. Yeah. So yeah, the one way record they set during COVID is unlikely to be matched. I think that's a Chevy SS. That's what you did in it. That is yeah, ours was black lower down a little bit black wheels and everything. But it's a good car

It's a you know, pretty decent sized four-door. We're all three pretty big guys So we squeezed in there, but it was a car never missed a beat. I mean it we ran that engine I think we did the math on it at the RPMs We were running that crankshaft turned over something like 13 million times on that run. Tell me about the brakes on that thing What did you do the brakes on that thing. What did you do? The brakes, uh, he upgraded those to they had factory brimbos. So I think he just upgraded the pads a little bit. Okay.

Hopefully you don't need the brakes too much, but when you do, it's good to have them there. If I, if we're rocking along at one 70, I want to be able to stop. Oh yeah. Somebody cool. One of our guys is way smarter than me. Did the math one time about stopping distances and like it's like the stopping distance from 90 is like a third of the stopping distance from like 170. Like it just gets exponential, but it's rare. You have to go into a complete stop. It's usually if you get caught blocked by a couple of trucks and you have to shave off speed, but it's pretty easy to shave speed off. You know the brakes Ever wear safety gear like like I would have a temptation to wear a helmet But I feel like that's some that's some lame shit and also like from a cop. I see a guy fast by

A fire suit I'll get this guy get this guy work with me Kyle work with me What if you were like a skater helmet right then you could maybe talk your way out of a ticket, pretending you have down syndrome. It's a little thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They buy that. Yeah. That, that, thank you, work.

I mean, we've talked about that sort of thing, but you know, in 53 years of cannonball and there's never been a fatality. There's only been one accident that was not that bad. So rolling on a pretty much 100% safety record for 1500 plus runs and 30 plus million miles, we decided we'll die like man. You know, there's not room to because like, if, if, God forbid, something like that did happen, if someone was doing the run and they, they had a bad accident and people were injured, like it'd be, it'd look bad. And I feel like the authorities would give you guys a much hard harder time all of a sudden

Lately and that is our biggest fear You know the cannonball was started as a protest against the national 55 mile an hour speed limit that was put in place in 1971 and it was done to show that you know skilled drivers and well-prepared cars can drive faster than the speed limit Safely and we have upheld that safety You know cars can drive faster than the speed limit safely. And we have upheld that safety, you know, the, the safety record on all these years. I mean, not just us, but this is going back to 1971. And we, you know, we self-police, we've had some people who we love personally, but we have sort of not let run these runs anymore just because, you know,

they, they drive a little too aggressively. We try to blend in. I know it sounds like we're going so fast, but we try to drive like ghosts, just bobbing and weaving between traffic. Don't cut anybody off. Don't blow anybody's doors off. Try to attract as little attention as possible and yeah, I'll all be safe. And yes, God forbid if an accident ever did happen,

I think most of us would probably just hang it up. You know, it's something that's kind of fun right now. It's kind of a victimless crime, Robin Hood sort of thing. You know, the man's not going to tell me what to do. But if one of us got hurt or killed or even worse, a civilian, it would just cast a pallor over all of it. I think most of us would hang it out. I would be worried. Have you guys ever pass on the shoulder. No, no, we do not do bonus lanes. There's too much debris over there.

A, you present a tire hazard to yourself and B, you're going to kick rocks and stuff up, chip somebody's windshield, take them off, get a call in. So, yeah, no bonus lanes, no inside. Stick to the traffic lanes. Just as a safety thing. There's too much debris over there. I don't know how you drive through the entirety of Texas at night without hitting a deer along the way. stick to the traffic lanes just as a safety thing. There's too much debris over there.

I don't know how you drive through the entirety of Texas at night without hitting a deer along the way. Well, funny story. The our spotter, you know, so two of the guys that got down in the car, Bronson and myself, both Southern guys were used to deer a lot. Our third guy was from Manhattan. Great driver, but he doesn't have to deal with deer a whole lot. So the first leg out of Jacksonville, he is on

these gyro stabilized binoculars. So he is looking like in the lane of travel, mile and a half down the road. Oh, Ross is driving, I'm in the back getting some rest for my turn up at the wheel. We are passing we passed 400 deer just on the side of the road. Yeah, and he didn't see him because he was looking so far down at one point he drops the binoculars, sees the deer and just freaks out on the deer. And we kind of had a chocobo, so we'd pass like 400 of them. For deer and stuff like that, you know, at those speeds, if you swerve, you're going to crash. Yeah. So you just got to run the numbers. You know, at 200 feet a second,

if that deer hops into the lane of travel, you're going to hit it for you can even lift your foot and hit the brakes anyway. You'd be better off ducking than anything else. Exactly. Exactly. That's the rule. We just hold the wheel steady. And if you hit one, hit one, but honestly, they're pretty smart. You know, we left at midnight in Jacksonville to try to keep that single day thing going on. Left at midnight sun was coming up just as we got to Texas. So we did most of that in the daytime, but yeah, we got really lucky.

We didn't really have any deer encounters and I've done, gosh, 30,000 miles of this stuff over the years. I've never had a deer issue. I mean, we see them, but on the interstate, they're pretty savvy. You know, back roads and stuff, they're not so used to cars, but the highways don't know.

I was on a highway in Texas driving at night and I've never seen so many deer I've never seen so many deer it would be herds of deer not and in Georgia You'll see like a family of deer is what we would call it It'd be like five deer and most of our juveniles out there It was like that is a herd of fucking deer Just lingering next to the highway in the darkness waiting on us to drive past. And you'd see those trucks out in Texas with these crazy brush guards on the front. And some people, but it'll be like,

it's a custom made and they'll say, annihilator on the front, or like the deer destroyer or something. They'll make it like bladed and stuff. So when they hit a deer, it fucking explodes. I saw a motorcyclist hit a deer one time. He was going fast. I don't know how fast call it 80 plus.

And he cut the deer in half. Like he went through the deer. Yeah. That happened on a road Atlanta years ago. Guy hit one on the back straight. Same thing, you know, going, you know, buck 50 or so and just cut right through it. Yeah. There's this weird kind of physics to it.

Like if you hit it at 70, it'll take you out, but it's like a karate chop, some Bruce Lee stuff. And you ride motorcycles as well, correct? So I mean, I know deer are an extra concern on your end. I know they've scared me a few times. I hit one. I don't ride at night. I almost always ride during the day.

I would be scared to ride at night in rural Georgia. I'm more in the city now, but I don't know, just growing up, deer were always a concern in Georgia. I've only hit one once, and technically it kind of hit me. Like it ran into my fender, not the front of my car. But man, that would be my main concern doing anything crazy on the roads is like a fucking raccoon running out in front of me

and me hitting a raccoon running out in front of me and me hitting hitting a raccoon on my motorcycle and just dying and being scattered into the bushes at night and nobody knows I'm out there. Like so I don't like that night. Well you'd be surprised. I'm I've hit a deer and a pedestrian on a motorcycle and a buddy might hit a pedestrian as well. And believe it or not the motorcycles, you know, when a bike's moving, you've got what's

called gyroscopic procession, which is the wheel spinning kind of creates this gyro effect. It's pretty stable. I mean, the guy, the guy I hit chased a frisbee out from 22 trucks, I just nailed him and it it bobbled my bike pretty hard, put him in the hospital, but I didn't go down and a crackhead rode a 10 speed right out in front of a buddy of mine and he just like t-boned him just kind of hop right over him bike hardly bobbled

I mean we picked the crackhead up kind of dusted him off and you know straighten his handlebars out and he went down The road with his wheels on my way, but there's a I don't I get I can't do the physics But bikes hold up fairly well, but but I agree it just takes that one thing to throw you off into the woods And yeah, I don't either and I'm not the world's best rider I used to say I'm going to react correctly to that scenario and you know what I mean? You've got a fraction of a second to make that decision. That's scary to me. That's my biggest fear. It isn't getting into a like just a wreck, wreck, although that'd be bad enough. It's like going off the side of the road and Georgia

under a guardrail and I'm just scattered off into the woods crippled And nobody knows because the bike went with me, you know Yeah the the new iPhones and the Apple watches have like sort of a crash feature that I believe will like if you take enough hard enough hit It'll ask if you're okay. And if you don't respond it will send EMS to your location Which is at least kind of a reassurance, but I'm with you though Yeah that's guardrail scared me so badly because like I mean just looking at all those posts and stuff like it will send EMS to your location, which is at least kind of a reassurance, but I'm with you though.

Yeah, that's, guardrail scared me so badly. Cause like, I mean, just looking at all those posts and stuff, like there's no way you're going to go through it. It's going to be just a cheese grater. Yeah, that's terrifying to me. I'm right there with you. Yeah. I mean, sliding would be bad enough, but I got gear on. I could slide, you know,

it might even be fun, but Drift for the crash. I went down in a race one time in wet grass at about 130 and just, just like nothing happened. Like the bike went down and I was hanging on to the handlebars. I didn't want it to like high side and tear my bike up because it was cheap and I couldn't afford to fix it. So I just did this like Superman thing, just hanging on the bars. We just slid across the wet grass and like literally nothing happened. Like I was already kind of laid down, dragging a knee and I went down and just like picked it up like nothing happened

It was one of those like okay. I got a I got a pass on this one This is never gonna happen again, but yeah, they're yeah going down scary I don't ride bikes nearly as much as I used to you know when I lived out in Athens, you know, North Georgia and places I was gone every weekend, but living in Atlanta, man. It scares crap out of me I hardly ride at all anymore because there's just no way to get out of Atlanta without getting killed. Yeah, I agree with that. I'm here too. Um I remember my cousin for a little while because his car had blown up on

him. His daily driver was his ninja and it was like rain or shine going to work on a ninja. Man, you've never seen somebody as frown as hard as a 20 year old riding a 600 cc on a rainy day to a job he doesn't want to work. Go into a vacuum plant on a bike in the rain. He's going to like go Dyson's. What's he doing? Uh, not something parts for vacuums or some shit like that. He had a, he had a job one time like that. But anyway, he, he lost control of that thing at night one time and went through like a plowed fucking field of soybeans.

And like, he, he got the like death wobbles going on and he just held on to it and carved a path through the fucking soybean field. I used to ride a motorcycle as my daily driver when I was in college. And this is New Jersey, Northern New Jersey. It's winter time and it's the worst. It's so icy. My mom had this idea that cowboy boots would be both like protective in case of a slide

cause they're leather and stylish. But in the ice, like the roads were so bad, I crawled on my knees, my hands and knees to get to the motorcycle because the cowboy boots are so bad in the ice that would just slide down even the slightest of inclines. So I'm like on my hands and knees to get to the motorcycle. And then I'd ride my motorcycle on the ice back to my apartment. It was so dangerous. I don't know if there's a worse footwear choice for ice than cowboy boots. There is no rip whatsoever. That's meant for dust. There's not even the thought of slipping. That's so funny. I bet you look slick though.

Stick your feet out like outriggers and just ski it. That might be my one. That's one of the most important. There's no not important pieces of gear. Like you need everything. But when I see those people's feet snap off in their shoes and shit, it's like, dude, you should have wore some boots like this. Yeah, I really preventable. What's happened to you?

Well, the joke the joke for years was like sport bike riders would have like a thousand dollar helmet on with a t-shirt and flip-flops and Harley Riders laugh a thousand dollars with the leathers and no helmet at all Yeah Yeah, I'm saying way I or they'll just have a skull cap on there or whatever you call it like like one of it like barely Legal things I saw that one guy so probably I'm sure you've all seen it But it's this viral video the guy has made his own helmet That's technically to spec for state law, and it's essentially a yarmulke with a chin strap It's a it's he's like it's hard plastic rated by D rated by DOT

It's like yeah, but it's like four square inches of hard plastic on the crown of your head like a yarmulke. He's like, it passes back. Fuck it does. You can't do this though. Yeah. I had a buddy. Mine wore one of the, the, um, buddy of mine wore one of those years ago. And, you know, I tend to ride pretty fast, but I go like full, you know,

snail spec, you know, race helmet. And he was like, you know, man, you know, I'm worried about you. You need to slow down. You're going to have a crash. I was like, man, I'd rather crash at 100 in my helmet than 25 in yours. So just like you're talking about, it was like the little Yarmulke thing. Like, yeah, Salad Bowl would pass the inspection. I don't know how many times I've had something significant hit the front of my helmet.

Maybe who knows what it is. Was it a hummingbird? It seemed like way more than a bug, you know, or rock. I need the full face. I hit bugs so hard that it's audible and loud. It's like, whack! And I'm like, fuck! What if that hit my face? Like, I ride with my visor up some,

and it's like, God, I just, fuck, what was that? What was I thinking? The track and slides down here are huge. Yeah, I don't understand people who don't wear safety gear on their bikes. Maybe they're just way more competent or comfortable at riding than I am. I feel pretty safe on the bike at normal speeds

and normal maneuvers, but like, I still am worried that someone's gonna, I'm always checking behind me. I'm always worried somebody's gonna hit me in the back and I'm not gonna, I'm worried I'm not gonna hear it when they're coming and I'm not gonna be prepared and like braced and I'm gonna just somebody's gonna hit me in the back and I'm worried I'm not gonna hear it when they're coming and I'm not gonna be prepared and like braced and I'm gonna just get knocked off my bike

and then again, something else is gonna hit me. I'm not worried about anything I'm doing. If I was living in that post-apocalyptic, nobody's on the roads world, I'd be perfectly like confident in my riding. It's everybody else. It's everybody else, it's so scary. I think I'm selling my bike. I think now is probably a good time. I'm tired of the scariness. I'm worried about that. I somewhat pulled out in front of me like five months ago, really sketched me out. Didn't like that at all.

Somebody told me one time they said, you know, modern science can fix or replace any part of your body except your head For now and yeah for now and I was kind of taking that to heart but uh Let's say for last time you had a BMW GS or something. Is that right? Probably I used to have a smaller GS, but I have a KTM 890. That's I consider my primary bike That's right and Kyle what were you riding again, I can't remember. I don't fucking know it's a Honda sport bike it's a 600 cc or something. No what what I don't know what it is. I'd have to go down in the garage look at it. I forgot what it is too. It's a Honda something I think it's red. It's red. It's got gold wheels. When you turn the key the instrument display does something cool. It's really pretty

No, I don't know what bike I have I'm being honest. It's no worries. No worries but you mentioned the back to dear you mentioned the The kit the cow catcher with the blades and everything on it. I'm mother to back I made one for a Peterbilt for a zombie movie, doing the kind of metal sculpture thing. We took this big brush guard for it. I made like, just put blades and rusty metal and chains and barbwire all over it and like spikes and these big blades that stuck over the top. Just that thing would turn a deer into cat food. The guy's driving a truck around like a promotional for it. So it is actually out on the road and I had to be kind of careful to make sure all the

barbware and everything was recessed. So the DOT didn't get him. But yeah, so there's a truck out there right now that's got a big bladed up zombie catching brush guard on it that I'm definitely going to see what a deer will do to it. Did they give you like creative feedback or was where they were like, it's got to be scarier or were you like all free reign? You just made it how you imagine it would actually work. Pretty much free reign.

Uh, somebody else had tried it and just sort of made a couple of big posts that just weren't really looking right. We're really angled right. So they brought it to me and I, I blanked it out and made it, I made it movie worthy, but it was fun. Yeah. They didn't mess with me at all. They were just like, do what you want to do.

The truck had kind of a barbed wire motif on the paint job already. So I integrated some barbed wire into it. And I put some big spikes off the wheels. I welded some wheel studs on the front. So it's got these big spikes taking out the front of it. And just kind of took, it was kind of funny. They actually wanted it to look like it was sort

of booger welded, which I mean, not that I'm the best welder in the world, but I've been doing it in a while. So it was kind of hard to kind of make myself do really, really crummy looking welds. But after I got into the feeling that it was great, I could just call me next time. I got you. I'm right here. You got it. When you weld badly, they call them booger welds. Yeah, it's a booger welder. It's just like a big old glob on there and all that. But yeah, it was fun. I just grabbed a bunch of scrap metal out of the pile and just cutting blades into stuff and making it look scary. And I didn't have to worry about it being exactly symmetrical or even anything. And they wanted it to look like it was done, you know, post-apocalyptic

style. So yeah, it was fun. It was a fun project. I don't think I would, I wouldn't want barbed wire on mine in the post-apocalypse. Cause I think that's going to like hold more zombie flesh to my machine. Like I'd probably want it real clean, right? Cause you don't want all that diseased flesh. You don't want some, something powdery or, you know, vaporizing getting in your mouth. Now you're going to get a germaphobe and a zombie apocalypse. Yeah. Come on.

If there's one germ to be afraid of in a germaphobe and a zombie apocalypse. Yeah. Come on. If there's one germ to be afraid of in the zombie apocalypse, it's the zombie germ. Like that you gotta. Yeah, that is a very, very good point. I didn't really consider that in the process. I mean, it does look cool, but yeah, you're very right though. Yeah, you wanna, although maybe if you had dead zombie

on your vehicle, the other zombies would be less interested in it. That's what I'm saying. Nobody's gonna, I think the barbwire is to keep any like humans from trying to climb up your up your grill keep that keep their dirty paws off unless they try to mount the vehicle. Yeah yeah it'd be more of an anti other human measure but also a human isn't going to stand there and get you know turned into pulp in the first place. I would move. I would move. Yeah 100% I'm moving. I'd try and become friends with the guy place, I would move. I would move. Yeah. 100%. I'm moving.

I'd try and become friends with the guy who had that truck though. I'd be like, I could be, you know, I could be a sex slave. Yeah. That was my plan too. Cause I don't have any other skills. So yeah, there there's a line already. Yeah. I didn't have that skill. It's like, I don't know how to do it now, but I'll learn to belly dance. I've got gumption. There you go.

I'll be a good topic like the three of you. What would be your like you come up on the compound where all the humans are are bedded in like what's your skill set that you would offer? What do you think your best zombie apocalypse skill set would be to offer to some enclave of people who had, you know, taken over a prison or made a wall or something? There's no way I would trust any group of people. I would want to be on my own. There's no way I would ever trust a group of people. They would rob me and rape me and eat me. That is a big problem. Honestly, I feel like not in that order.

I could kill zombies well. And this is the strategy. I have a lot of motorcycle gear and it is pretty much bite proof. You throw a helmet on and some Kevlar onesie and how are they gonna get through that? Even my gloves, you can't bite me on the fingers. It's all meant to be sliding across pavement

for quarter mile. So me and a pointy stick and a motorcycle outfit, I can clear that field for you. They might be like, that is a real nice outfit. You got it. Make it off. That one's he got a zipper in the back. There's me with my pointy stick.

We got a fancy shitty boy. This fancy shitty armor. Yeah, I don't know what I would do. I'd be like, all right, guys, I'll do a, you know, point me in a direction and I'll try. But fair warning, fellas, I am this pair of glasses breaking away from being an enormous liability.

Do you see him? I got that zombie. He was coming right at me. It's like, oh, you got Ted Even afterward decently All right, so you said you're going lone wolf so like what's your What do you think your best strength is out in the out in the wilderness? I know how to do stuff. You know, I do. I know do stuff. I know I know firearms and agriculture and I feel like once you know that you got everything kind of handled. I grew up on a farm with cows and chickens and grew up hunting in the woods and I know how to shoot.

And I know a lot about guns enough to like repair guns and make my own ammunition. And I I know where all the guns are in Atlanta. I know where like AAC is. Like I know where stockpiles are. What's AAC? Anti-aircraft critters? It's a gun company. Oh, okay.

So I think I would lean that way. It depends what kind of apocalypse you got. The problem is the people. Problem's always the people. People are scary, zombies aren't scary zombies are just worse people like in the movie Even even even in even the crazies from that Timothy Oliphant movie or even the rage virus victims from 28 days later, right? I'd rather fight them than people

People fucking wait to like go to take a shit and like pump poison into my house People like block off all your exits and set your house on fire people wait till you go to sleep You know what I mean? Like zombies are a problem and the rage fire I watched 28 days later like a week ago. So i'm pretty current And uh, those things just spit Towards your eyes and now you're a rage virus victim and it happens in like 10 seconds it's a problem Taylor would be immune man I got goggles I'll goggle up and by the way that's the only movie I've ever seen where the blood that comes off of the zombie when when they're killed or damaged or whatever

spit that it's actually the can infect you and make you into a zombie. 28 days later is the only one. And that little caveat really does make them a problem. Normally you need to die to become a zombie. That's the typical Lord. Or at least be bitten by one. They need to like bite you, sink their teeth into you. And then, you know, you catch the thing. And however that goes forward, Walking Dead had its own little twist on how that works exactly. But all that aside,

like a speck of blood is going to get your eye eventually or in your mouth or it's going to get on your clothes. And then that night you're going to touch your clothes and you're going to touch your mouth. You're going to brush your teeth. Like it would be a continuous like bio-hazard event. Like you would have to be always covered up like Z for Zachariah style in a bio suit when you did anything going through decontamination. Something all four of us have as I think a good potential benefit if we're trying to court this warlord is and it wouldn't be an overt thing but like if I were the warlord I would want to surround myself with people who were like willing to swing things hard at zombies and also not the fastest guys.

Like guys who, if shit goes down, I have a, I know I can get a comfortable lead. And so I feel like they would see me and I'd be like, I'll give me anything and I'll do my best. You just feed me at night. And then they'd also be in their head. They'd be like, if it gets real, this fat idiot, there's no chance he's like out running me.

And so this is just a little additional bit of insurance for my team. I'll run 10% of the population. Oh, I'd be, I'd be my big flat feet slapping panicking. Yeah, exactly. I don't got to outrun the zombies. I just got to outrun you. Yeah. I think post-apocalyptic Taylor would be a much more svelte kind of guy. Like you'd have, you'd be lean and mean. That's true. Built for speed. Not a lot of barbecue in the, in the post-apocalyptic Taylor would be a much more svelte kind of guy. Like you'd have, you'd be lean and mean. That's true. Built for speed. Not a lot of barbecue in the, in the post-apocalypse.

You'd be eating squirrel legs. It's solely barbecue. Yeah, but not smoked pork ribs at any. Yeah. Not a lot of brisket. It'd be disgusting, lean. It'd just be rabbit over and over and over. You die if you eat only rabbit.

That'd be good. Yeah. You get rabbit. Rabbit starvation. There's no, no fat on it That'd be good. Yeah, you get rabbit. That'd be rabbit starvation. There's no fat on it, but I think, yeah. Rabbit starvation exists. You can't sustain yourself on rabbit. Yeah, there's no fat.

It's too lean. Yeah. But I mean, it's not celery. Like you probably do get energy from it, no? Over time, like you just couldn't, I guess, backfill the requisite fat. But this is also a situation where it's like, you have nothing whatsoever but rabbit.

Yeah, you're like in the tundra in wintertime or something and the polar bear will eat you and you can't catch anything but rabbits. Yeah, it was kind of a danger with pilots and stuff. Your brain needs fats and things to function and I guess that much protein, you eventually go into like kidney ketosis or something like that. I don't understand calories. You could eat many pounds of rabbit

according to Google AI without receiving very much nutrition at all. But like you run across like one 7-eleven and loot the like cashew and peanut section like you're going to. That's the reality of the post-apocalypse that, that like movies and TV shows conveniently ignored that. And the fact that gasoline goes bad after what, six months, nine months, unless you're a pitiful addict and all the cashews at seven 11 nights. That would be me. That's how I'd get in trouble. They'd be like, they said there was a huge cashew cash here at the seven 11. I'd be like, you're wrong.

There's nothing you can't prove. There's like those, there's a bunch of those curled metal tins that are on the top that you have to peel off. So they're in your teeth, man. No, no, I just think that like, especially in America, um, we have so much food. Just if you went into my, I bet if I go into everyone here's pantry, we have so much food, just if you went into my I bet if I go into everyone here's pantry, there's so much junk in there. There's so many old cans of like sirloin burger and fucking chicken noodle soup and my pantry has bags and has pounds and pounds of beans and rice and like enough food for a month or two at least probably four months at least.

And like you go to the supermarket and it's like, where would all that food go? It's not going to disappear. Every house is going to be a cache of food, especially in Georgia. You go into any random house, you go out in the country of Georgia. It's full of fucking pickled tomatoes and ammunition. I just don't think it'd be that hard. Yeah. Yeah. The starvation wouldn't be the dangerous thing. It would be some guy trying to become a warlord. And so he shoots you in the head trying to establish his own territory.

Women would be such a liability. If I found a woman, I would immediately like, nah, you can't come with us. You can't come with us. Nah, it's post-apocalypse. We're all gay now. You're all gay now. It's a very Spartan-esque brotherhood of man. Brotherhood of man. there's no pussy. No, you couldn't because the first thing would happen is you'd bump into two dudes and they'd be like, you got a woman?

You're like, I mean, I don't know that she's mine, but and they'd be gutting you. They'd be gutting you and raping her immediately. Like that's just how it goes. That's just how it goes. Yeah, but yeah, actually, yeah, yeah. That's what would happen. Yeah, what's going, actually, yeah, yeah, that's what would happen. Yes.

What's drinking with him? If me and you came upon Woody and he had a baddie with him, he's getting gutted. And we're going to eat him, too. What value could women provide? We're going to eat them both, if you know what I mean. Like, if there's a zombie apocalypse, what are women helpful for?

Aside from reproduction, nothing at all. Nothing at all. Is it nothing? It's nothing at all. Every everything is life or death now. There can't be, you know, when a woman is carrying a piece of furniture and at first she doesn't she doesn't do it right, we died. We just died right there. You know, when a woman gets behind the wheel of a car and she thinks she's in drive but she's actually in reverse and for a brief second she goes, oh whoopsie daisy that could have gotten weird. We're dead. but she's actually in reverse and for a brief second she goes, oh whoopsie daisy that could have got weird we're dead

I don't know maybe just I've been married four times, but I've had several women come real close to killing me Pointing a gun at me and then lifted it to correct my grammar and then point it back at me again That's not who you want at your side in this apocalypse. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. She was, she had developed a substance issue that I was trying to prevent her from indulging in and she didn't like sound of that. So yeah, she bought a 357 and argument ensued and she's like, it's less drugs, not fewer drugs. And then, and yeah, I actually can't really get that relationship pretty quickly. You are correct. I'm sorry. So yeah, don't ever, man.

Don't get it. I've ever heard as much methods as you please. Sorry for getting in your way. What was the drug? I'm sorry. Which drug did she want to take? She was, it was like one of those, you know, rich girl prescription things that kind of got out of hand. So then she started like reaching out to her friend group

and things kind of escalated from there. So yeah, it wasn't pretty. I extricated myself of that relationship pretty quickly, but yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't pretty. But complete liability. If we're in like a, the road scenario, which is great If you've ever seen the road incredibly dark vision of the fear born in it. It's written by Conrad

McCarp What's his name? He's the same guy that wrote blood meridian and his shit is on Mac McCarthy Cormac McCarthy. Thanks I had like pieces of it Great author. Both of those are amazing books. That's I almost bought that for you the other day, Taylor, Blood Meridian, because I know you've never read it. It's fantastic. It is. They've been trying to make it into a movie for decades, but it's the subject matter is so awful and gruesome that I don't think they will be able to. But what I was going to say is like, if we're just wandering around like from place to place, trying to like find shelter and every day is a fight

and a survival scenario, there can be no women. There can be no women. Yeah, they'd have to stay back at the compound. There is no compound in this scenario. We're like nomads trying to like get out of Atlanta because it's so rough there or whatever. You need some women because how are you gonna restart people?

For some reason- That's right along down the road road the repopulation of earth It's to it's what I'm talking about is like if it's just surviving the day Like getting out of this town if they're if there are cannibal men who are hunting us who want to enslave us like No women you can't come with us. I asked chat GBT What value women would bring in a zombie apocalypse. And it mentioned reproduction, but we've already talked about that.

The one thing it did come up with that I thought might be onto something, there are more women in the medical field. There's more nurses and doctors than there are boy ones. So she had medical skills. All right. Now, if you've got a trauma nurse, she can fucking ride. That's a different kind of kid. She's invited.

Yeah, yeah. Now, we'll see. The second we find a boy who can do that, she's out. She's out, yeah. If we meet like an army lieutenant or army private who's like, is that a trauma kid? Yep, I'm certified. Bang, we killed a lady.

That quick, that quick we're eating her ass. Bang. We killed a lady that quick. That quick. We're eating her ass. We're barbecuing her booty up. Like, like, that's the only fat we're going to find out here. We're eating her. I just had, but, but the thing you had to consider though, is that if there were no women, who would there be to point out when we're screwing up? You also haven't thought about how the pussy is going to be in this post apocalypse. I thought I was the other day about how like, I'm not a fan of stinky pussy. I don't know about y'all, but it's absolutely just the worst smell in the world. And I had a girl one time at vaginosis.

I couldn't tell her. I just broke up. I just slowly stopped having sex with her until she left me. Ah, 29 more times. Yeah. A real, so I noticed this problem. And so I handled it in the most masculine way I could. I selected her until she left the court. Oh, I didn't want, look, I don't, I don't know what the right answer to that, that that scenario was Taylor, but I didn't feel like it was going to be like, Hey, your vagina smells so putrid. I, I don't want to fuck you.

I don't know. I mean, that would have been a tough situation because the whole time you're like, I don't want to give her some complex or something where she's fucked up the rest of her life feeling bad about her pussy. But also, this needs to be addressed the same way. Imagine if I had the most aggressive athletes would imaginable and I was walking around the apartment with this shit all of my feet. At some point, she'd have to be like, put some socks on. And she couldn't smell it clearly because like,

as soon as we would start going at it, like we're like, imagine missionary position. And like, my head is above her head. And I am getting hit with it. I'm being assaulted with stank. And I'm thinking like, it's more intense for her right now than it is for me. It has to be. Like when I would go to wash my dick off after, I'd be, oh, poor guy. I'm sorry I did that to you. Oh God, I'm sorry. And then you're focusing on the smell more. And so like now you're fucking with like a 71% hard dick

because you're kind of just wanting it to be over. I take a lot of Cialis. It's, you know, he. I forget that you're on PEDs. Yeah, I take a lot of Cialis. It's, you know, he, I forget that you're on PEDs. Yeah. Penis enhancement drugs. Penis enhancement drugs. But what I was going to say is like, there's this letter from Napoleon to his mistress, wife, whatever. And I think he's like three or four days from being back to France. He's been at war and he's like, from being back to France. He's been at war and he's like, coming home, baby. Don't wash.

Be there in three days. He says, he literally says like, I'll be there in three days. Don't wash. I mean, after you've been spending all day on like a battlefield with a bunch of gangrenous wounds and flesh and disgusting stuff, viscera everywhere. I bet a stinky pussy really pales in comparison to that wartime rot. But also, he was just a freak. No, I grew up on a chicken farm. I'm telling you, ain't nothing worse than a... We throw the dead chickens in what we call a chicken pit. You can probably imagine how we got there. And they just rot in that hole in the ground. And it's got a concrete pad on top top of it and then there's a hole formed in the concrete that's the exact same size as a five gallon bucket. That's your lid. You put that in the hole. Now the stink can't escape the chicken pit. It's for all intents and purposes. The whole farm won't be snuck

up now. But when you go to like dump your dead chickens into that pit, you uncap that bitch and you and the sunlight shines down into that maggoty evil down there and it's a sea of maggots Taylor in the all the flesh has turned black and putrid and gelatinous that's purple and bloated and and and the maggots are audible if you listen close you can hear like a macaroni and cheese noise down below. Still, that pussy was worse. That's... You're right. Sorry, go ahead. My first wife was an ER nurse in Athens, Georgia, and there's a lot of chicken poultry stuff

around there. And they had a lady come in one night, she didn't speak English, but she had they had a similar chicken pit at this chicken processing place. And she somehow fell in the pit and was there for like hours before somebody found her. And of course, they found her and got her out and like hauled her into the ER. And of course, as you can imagine, the smell was overwhelming. But she had some sort of like psychological breakdown of over that apparently, like it was like life changing to be stuck

in the chicken pit with all that for so long. I can't imagine. She was in there for like hours, like went on a smoke break or something. I don't know how she fell in. Nobody could figure that out. But yeah, I went in the chicken pit, which is about the worst things I could think of.

But speaking of Napoleon, you know, traditionally in literature, whatever, there's this mystique that like French people are like the best lovers. And I've heard a theory that that is because they don't bathe as often as a lot of other cultures do, and that they have more, you know, pheromones and things like that, and that people have this olfactory connection to each other when they're having sex. So that little bit of BO and all that actually respond, people respond to that on a chemical level,

perceiving French people to be better in bed than they actually are. No idea if that is true, but as what I heard. Not in the 21st century, I wouldn't imagine, but I could buy that maybe. I think everybody was always stinky though, if I'm being honest. I think we used to stink real bad.

It's just this last hundred years where we stopped stinking so bad. We got all those great, deodorant was invented, you know, indoor plumbing, the ability to wash, like air conditioning, everybody. And then the clothing has changed too. You look at those Wild West photos, those, what are they called?

The chromatites or whatever. What are those photos called? Daguerreotype. Yeah, I knew you knew it. And those guys are like, they're dressed for like winter weather in the middle of South, Texas Everybody must have stunk to high heaven much and again like like everybody I'm so glad we live now like and in old old times

You'll like read stuff like the Romans would rub clothes on their armpits to reduce the stink. And it's like, all right, I've in the 21st century tried all natural deodorants before. And it's a joke. It's it makes you smell like stinky potpourri. Like it doesn't hold back the storm. It just masks it in a way that almost makes it grosser because it's really doesn't have aluminum, but it has whatever the alternative to aluminum is and it works, but it doesn't work. It quits after 24 hours.

Like I noticed that. Like if I, if I take a shower like early in the day and then I, and then I come around to the next day and I don't shower until the evening, I'm like, I'm starting to smell a little. Like it gives up after 24 hours for sure. 24 hours is such a, I have a can of like spray deodorant that I bought recently and then I used it once and it like immediately like turned to like a weird paste in my underarm and I'm like throwing this away,

not using it, but it says 72 hours of scent prevention. Oh, I got a story. And it's like, fuck yourself. Zero shot. I will dominate this challenge. Invite me to the fucking Old Spice HQ and put it to the test. Not a chance. 72 hours. Just a ridiculous lie. So there was this guy that wanted to smell good. He was applying like can after can of deodorant instead of bathing and it killed him. It's just weird. Just bathe. It feels nice to bathe. He died from deodorant fumes because of his obsession with personal hygiene. 16 years old, he had 10 times the lethal dose of propane and butane in his blood.

Oh Jesus. Jonathan became obsessed with smelling fresh and would cover his entire body in deodorant at least twice a day. He died after suffering a heart attack. It's believed that the gas is built up in his body over months, during which Jonathan repeatedly sprayed himself in the bathroom of his home. gases built up in his body over months, during which Jonathan repeatedly sprayed himself

in the bathroom of his home. The coroner recorded a verdict of accidental death. His father says when we told him he was using too much, he said he just wanted to smell good. He said that Jesus, I wonder if something happened at school where they made fun of him for being stinky and he got like a complex and then poisoned himself Yes, really like I like you get used to the smell and now you know It's like anything else you get used to it So you think you need more and more and your friends are like dude, you know We can't our eyes are watering but to him it's a normal but that's terrible Yeah, what terrible parents?

Yeah, they should have stepped in before he died. I mean, I'm sure they had no way of knowing he would end up dying. I just thought, man, that kid smells strong. Yeah, but it says he's standing in his bathroom, and that was a UK website, and they got littler bathrooms over there. And so he's standing in there, door closed,

a can and a half of that a day or whatever. Just, and you know how long it takes to spray a whole can of that stuff? So you're standing in a fog for minutes. Probably what happened. Just big. I bet he felt like I'm hot boxing dealer. Oh, it's pillowing up now.

There we go. Like the parents could have been able to like, they could have seen it coming out from, you know, the crack at the bottom of the door. What a dumb fucking way to die. I'm still stuck on Napoleon writing his wife. Like if he's three days out, when did the letter get there? Like did the letter get there? Was it much faster than Napoleon? I imagine he sent a rider. I feel like Napoleon

can handle that. You know, for the emperor, they could probably send a fast rider. Yeah. Do they have pigeons back then that were carrying messages like in World War I? I bet they did. Napoleon had a pigeon, but. You have one marathon runner who like dies to put that message in her hands. And one of the trainers there told me something about horses that like a fit human runner can outpace a horse over like a hundred miles like a horse is faster for 20 He's gonna smoke you but the downtime the horse requires People are eventually faster than pretty much any other animal over animals We are that we are the most effective and efficient long-distance runners in the animal kingdom. It's it's an ongoing meme

on on reddit where I'll see like It's an ongoing meme on Reddit where I'll see like some wildebeest to be like hairless humans try to throw a rock at me. Haha, I ran from them. They followed. I ran again. They don't get tired. Oh no. In comparison with those ants, that's how early man hunted.

It was exhausted. It was exhausted hunting in Africa. They would just chase an antelope and they do it in teams. The tribesmen still do it to some extent. They'll run as a team and you'll have like guys coasting on each other and you'll have one guy who's running ahead and then he'll take a break and fall back and someone else runs ahead and you just keep exhausting the will, whatever the animal is until it's collapsed and you can spirit to death. I'm glad Kyle switched from we to they in his storytelling when he when he was like we can outrun any animal

We can outrun horses. I'm like speak for yourself, bro We can't alright So like if you had if we had to run a marathon our times would suck they'd be embarrassing in the skit But but we could all run a marathon if we needed to there'd be some walking But if you made like a horse run that marathon and try to keep pace with us, I don't know if you'd do great. Maybe, certainly if we did one of those ultra marathons, if we did one of those hundred mile deals, every animal is going to die behind us. A lot of the Native American tribes, Cherokee in particular, had a technique, because the

Cherokee had sort of a male system almost with runners and things like that. The Incans had something similar as well that a technique they used, and I don't know if they fully understood the science of it, but like apparently in your strides, like when you're running, imagine when your leg is like as far forward as it can be, they would relax it just for a second,

almost like in like a free fall, like a zero gravity just for a second before the return stroke. And in doing so, it allowed that little bit of lactic acid to disperse out of the muscles. And they could run a lot farther by doing that sort of slack leg technique. And I kind of practice a little bit back when I was a little fitter and used to try to hike. So like as you kind of get used to it,

you don't think about it after a while, but you can go farther like use, you know, each time when your leg reaches that full extension in the front, you just sort of let it go slack for just a split second, but just enough pace by pace, it adds up and they apparently did that for, you know, crafted that for centuries to the point their guys could like, I think the Cherokee had some people who could run like a hundred miles in a day.

Yeah, they did. So I got, this is an excerpt from a book called The Gospel of the red man. The most famous runner of ancient Greece was Phidippides whose record run from Athens to Sparta was 140 miles and 36 hours. Among, among native Americans, such a feat would have been considered very second rate.

In 1882 at Fort Elise, a young Cree who on foot had just brought in dispatches from a different fort which was 125 miles away in 25 hours It created almost no comment. I heard that yet and no one thought he's saying that no one thought that was unusual They're like, yeah a pretty good run was was how people another one to Indian runners gives their names they ran 62 and a half miles in nine hours and 37 minutes. It's, it's lots of these like going through it.

This one male carrier ran from Chihuahua to Badopolis, Mexico. It's a 500 miles in a week. How much food are they eating? Like they've got to be eating a crazy amount of food every time they stop just to fuel that. This one Hopi messenger was known to run 120 miles in 15 hours. And Arizona Indians were known to run down deer by sheer endurance. And every student of the Southwestern history will remember that Coronado's mounted men were unable to overtake the natives when in the hill country.

They were chasing Indians on horses and couldn't catch them in the hills. That's crazy. And that's also like, you know, barefoot or with like moccasins at best. That's not with some like, you know, Eric Comanche, Nikes or anything with all the control and the bringing it. I mean, that's some like, you know, bugs biting you. Man, that is like though, if you ever seen like a native's spring and it's I mean that's some like yeah bugs biting you man you know what that looks like though have you ever seen like a native's feet it's um I remember I was I was watching this guy he was talking about uh living with amazonian tribes people for months and he's like and after a while your feet he called it like elephant skin or something like

that your feet just callus the fuck over and they become like shoes. Like you become a hobbit if you don't wear shoes. Wow. My feet are bad enough as it is. I'm a big old guy anyway, but I can never do that. Do you wear big goofy shoes? I do. Big old size 14s, man. Give me some church shoes though with some wet grass. I can slide them. Do they sell those at regular stores?

13, 14 is about the limit. Anything bigger than that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that.

I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that.

I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to the airports on my shoes, I just walk out of my shoes like they just had disintegrated the over the year I'd had them stored. So now I'm stuck basically with no shoes in the Galapagos and you know, South American people are typically not big old American

sized people. So finding a pair of size 13 or 14 shoes in the Galapagos was a chore. I literally tracked down the only two pairs a big pair of work boots and this really dorky pair, Adidas. I'm not really like a tennis shoe guy, but I was so happy to find those Adidas. To this day, they're the most comfortable shoes I've ever had.

But I spent an entire day just going like, I can't remember what the translation was in their size, 47 or whatever. I'd walk in every street store and just be like, they'd look at me and I'd be like, you know, whatever 54 and they would just laugh and I would go to the next one and they'd be like, I'm 54 and they're like, look at each other. They're like, you know, 37. I'm like, no, no, no, no. You should look for a cobbler. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. They weren't going for it. They're trying to wrap you up in like banana leaves or something. Exactly. That'd be fun.

Exactly. Finally, I found some and I was thankful, But yeah, I don't, but yeah, the big, that kind of running though just blows my mind, those kinds of businesses. I mean, that's like way hard, more hardcore than cannonball. And speaking of running, like, you know, the Olympics, like I watched, that was a friend of mine over the summer, last summer, and it's like,

every time you see like the eight fastest runners in the world running like a thousand meters, like they should have somebody like me out there, like 800 meters behind them, like holding my side out of breath, like something you really can't appreciate how fast these people are without somebody like me out there just completely out of shape. I couldn't agree more. Like the like pros versus joes formula would work so well for every Olympic event. It would work well for eating competitions

where you could see like Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi and then like some guy who's like, I'm fucking hungry. And then you see him peter out after like the fifth dog. And he's, you know, he's trying and failing to do the disgusting dip in the water. Weightlifting, like strong, world's strongest man. Pick like the biggest guy in the crowd and be like, you get to participate too. And just so you could see it's like, wow, that guy's like,

and one biggest dude. Yeah. And one chick. Then they can all bully her and be like, haha, if we were a post-apocalyptic, I'd get rid of you. Some of my favorite Reddit posts are, are girls who are finding out how strong boys are for the first time in their lives Like the one girl is like I've been training for three years for Gymnastics I bench press put two two days a week. I've been consistent. I'm on a training program I eat this that and the other Yesterday, I saw a boy who'd only been lifting for a week blow my personal record out of the water and start using it for reps I'm so she's like what

the fuck and everybody's like yeah you didn't know. Is this shocking to you in all your training you hadn't looked around the gym you know you never just took a peek and be like oh I don't think they know like I remember there was a strong girls in my weightlifting class in high school there were two girls who played softball one One of them was a genuine genetic freak. Like she went on and played collegiate softball. If she were a man, she'd have been a pro athlete of some kind, or at least she had taken a good shot at it. Like she was, her dad's this giant six foot five guy, like a huge man. His nickname was Goat. And he was just the biggest man I'd ever seen outside of like, I don't know, some sort of freak show or something. And she was built like him. She was six foot tall, probably 165, 175 pounds.

And like, not bad, just a big old ass and big titties. And she could, we talked about earlier, like when you hit a ball, like when someone really hits a ball, you can hear it. She would make us, she'd hit a softball and it'd go, ping! You're like, fuck, what the? Like she was, and her boyfriend was this weasley little dude. And I just always imagined her like, riding him into eternity and him just being, like being terrified underneath her.

I always wanted to know what that sex life was like, because she had this little like, beta man. And she was the most alpha woman I had ever seen. And still like to this day, like I don't think I've ever just bumped into a woman that like big and athletic and ridiculously gifted. I mean, maybe she was so used to being the one hitting dingers, lifting heavy weights in her real life

that she wanted him to be dominant. Although even then, the way you make it sound doesn't seem like he could dominate this big bitch. No, she was an athlete. Like, she probably would have beaten up 15 year old me, like 15 year old her might have given me a run for my money. I'd had a hard time. It would have been, it could have gone either way. And that's not a thing with a girl where it goes either way. No, it's not that dude that so one of my biggest like bullying scenarios in middle school that made me

quit school and go to home school was this enormous black chick. And I remember thinking like, I can't hit her because she's a girl. And you know, like 12 years old me has, well, you know, like middle school, it was like sixth grade. So I'm 12. So like 12 year old me has these sensibilities that I'm not allowed to hit girls. And I don't even consider hitting her. But I'm like, I can't hit her. I don't think it'd be a good idea if I could. Like, like she is up she is taller than me and wider than me and heavier than me in every way. And she's got the crowds the crowd with her. It's gonna go poorly. You're gonna get fucked up. Big black women are scary.

I watch a lot of those cop videos. That's the worst thing to deal with is a big angry black woman. They're hard to tussle with. And they spit. In cop videos? Yeah. I'd rather deal with an angry white man than an angry giant black lady. I feel like I'd rather deal with any kind of woman versus any kind of man for the most part.

Because if the man decides to tee off, it is a worse situation for you. He can do more damage. If I bash the man with my nightstick, everybody's going to say, well, it was coming right at you. If I bash Inequal with my nightstick, it's going to be a bad look. That's true. They're going to have an unflattering photo of you on her. What am I going to say? But you don't understand. She's one of the big ones. Nobody wants to hear that. And go to the Greek moment. Yeah.

And girls too, like, you know, I grew up in a public school. It was pretty rough and like, you know, guys, guy fights. There's always a lot of bowing up chests and posturing and trash talking. And girls would just like, just come off the ropes, throwing hands like there was no hesitation. It was just melee. Like they did not hesitate to get it, to get it on and up a lot of scratching, hair pulling. Uh, I don't think it's perhaps not as much honor as the boys when they're squaring

up, the girls are, are yanking and pulling and scratching and biting. I don't think like two guys fighting, if you see someone bite the guy that does the bite the rest of forever, you're like, are you the guy that fucking bit Alan? That's fucking insane, dude. What were you thinking? Like, no one would be down with that.

Even if you technically, and if someone bit me in a fight, I'd lose that fight because I'd start going, whoa, whoa. I'd start spazzing. I don't want you to be. Look, I would not like to fight someone who bites. Like, like I, I wonder how effective it is. I really do.

Like a big strong man biting you, like, like, like, I bite your ass. They're going to have to do that thing where they're like they're sticking. Like it's long after the fights over and you're laying on the pavement and a cop is trying to put a bar in between my teeth. To make you release. We keep hitting them in the head, but these things are unstoppable, man. They're just once they locked down that felon fights video where the one guy was a fighter.

You've seen it too, Kyle. It's like they interview him ahead of time and he's like, I'm crazy. And he starts doing that during the fight and he's biting him. And the guy's like he's looking at the organizers of felon fights as if they're going to be like, you know what? This is we're not really fighting with honor. No, that's not gonna happen at all. He's like, help me, help, he's biting, help. And the felon fights people aren't doing anything

to break it up. Biting, I guess is fair in felon fights. And he has bite marks on his cheek from it. Bad ones. Yeah. Brutal. Oh, do you know how many antibiotics you need after a homeless guy bites you in a street fight? All of them. All I said, that's the link. That's an eight minute video and they had mounted that fast. Oh yeah. And so like the

beginning of it, of course, like he's sitting there. He's like, I'm a bad mother. You know, he's like hyping himself up. But then the fight starts and that one guy is just a goddamn chimpanzee. He's just a wild man. I think this might be the one where they start with sticks at first. It is. Yeah, it is. Yeah. The beginning of the fight is armed combat. They each have a stick.

This is such an insane video. Dude, white skinhead versus the karate kid. Who do you think wins? It's like a, like a bum fight saying back in back in the day. But it's felon fights. These guys are all ex cons. If you fast forward to 440, it's pretty great. The kid who thought he was tough. No, the other guy grabs his stick and starts beating him

with his own stick while like pretty much having disarmed the other and it's not gonna get better. Oh my gosh. I can tell from the tattoos this guy is, he's not pretending to be a Nazi. You might be, you know, in a tussle, when I watch UFC or whatever, they're often very quiet, especially when we're on the ground. Nobody's like saying anything. The aggressor who's on top and is biting is growling. He's, ah, ah, ah, ah, and like trying to find a new bite purchase. It's so scary. He said five minutes where in the video,

Kyle Link, he found it. This is it. Oh my goodness. This is so scary. It's just 5.4. Oh my God. And you can see him, you're exactly right. You can see him for like the 30 second lead up to it,

like grasping with his teeth, trying to get a purchase. He's got him in like half of an arm and like neck choke, but he's also just grabbing his trachea and like going for face bites. It's so scary. The fight's been over. I don't know why it's continuing after five minutes. Oh, you can see his face afterward. There's like, like a flesh peel. Yeah, that's

horrible. Now you got to go. Now you don't get the 30 pack of Natty light and you have to go to the hospital. Taylor, you need to see the victors glory, his joy, the look on his face. All right, Zach, go to five minutes and 57 or 58 seconds and screen and show us just a still image of the victors face. Cause not only do you see his insane look on his face, but you get to see his chompers and let me tell you, you do not want those things breaking your skin. I see a lot of brown and a lot of yellow. There's that one big one in the front.

Oh no. Yeah. Oh, this guy's like, if like a biologist was looking at this guy, he'd be like, these homeless teeth are made for shearing. Like. Makes Mike Tyson and Evander holyfield look tame oh

incredibly tell me the righty bit holyfield's ear yeah yeah yeah to be fair he did take a chunk oh i bet mike bites hard i bet he does everything hard yeah he gave his mouth guard in that's a good question i did he do that damage with the mouthguard in? I don't know. No, I wouldn't think so. He really kind of took the ear off cleanly and he bit it twice. People always say, yeah, he bit his ear.

He did it twice. He did it once in the game like a warning and like, hey, don't don't bite a Vander anymore, sir. And then he was like, I'm going to bat him again. And he did. He did him again. And he took more the second time. You try and stop me. I'm gonna bite you too There was a TV commercial in the last year

so maybe two years with the two of them in it and I can't remember what the commercial is about but like Literally in the commercial they're arguing about what a vendors ear tastes like To bury the hatchet or whatever, but it was hysterical, but I can't remember what it was now, but it was just something with like they were promoting something. It was the two of them like sitting around the fire, like smoking pipes, kind of that sort of vibe. And it just turned into this like, you know, gentlemen's debate about the taste

of an ear and I, it was just so funny that they got them to go there. But man, that, I mean, how could you have a debate with him about the taste of an ear and I, it was just so funny that they got him to go there. But man, that, I mean, how could you have a debate with him about the taste of an ear? Like you just have to defer. Like you're right, Mike. I've never tasted one. Certainly never a professional athlete here. Is that not going to get the video? Maybe he's not watching. Yeah. We wanted to see the, uh, the picture of the man just so pleased with himself after having

it. I think, uh, 557, 556, 556 is where I saw him there with his hands on his head, smiling at the camera. Yep. Yeah. These, and I, I didn't have the volume on for it because we're doing this, but I think they were fighting for a case of beer. I said a 30 rack of beer, but I it may have not even been that many beers. It was like,

weren't they fighting for beer or is that a different homeless battle video? I saw. Yeah, there he is. My ex-con like step uncle, like they used to bare knuckle box for cases of beer in the, in the, that's a scary, scary, that guy is scary. I wouldn't dude the other you could tell by the casting who was going to win this fight. Yeah but that guy had some teeth though that were just met. I mean that dude could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence with those. He could be good. Yeah that dude you know what's the over on under on him still being alive?

Oh, that guy's dead. That guy's dead. This looks like a digicam. This is an old video. 16 years ago and it wasn't new when it was uploaded. I'm sure it's probably a bit old. No, I watched bump fights back in the day. I actually liked that.

I thought that was cool. Of course, I was a nasty 16 or 17 year old now I guess it's pretty sad But I always talk about the bum hunter the one guy who addressed him as the crocodile hunter and just pounce on Homeless people while they slept in their encampments tie them up like they were crocodiles with duct tape and start taking measurements while his assistants dictated Using an Australian accent dressed like Steve Irwin and he looked just enough like Steve that you could buy it. Compared to what we just watched that's good natured fun. That's terrible though. It's horrible to do that to a human being to tackle someone.

I mean just the thumbnail of this video is him sneaking up on an unsuspecting homeless man without stretched duct tape I mean hey, that's horrible and that's also a good way to get a rusty screwdriver stabbed into your rib cage You know you hop on some dude. He just comes up cuz well those guys, you know, they sleep armed. Yeah a lot of those guys, you know, they sleep armed. Yeah, they should. There's the first guy he bothers. Kyle, you could see the homeless guy come out of his like makeshift sleeping bag like he's scared to death because now there's someone with a very bright light shining in his face

and saying just nonsense. Crikey. Look at the size of this one. You reckon he's the thing with them is they grow to the size of their habitat. Island gigantism. Yeah. And that's just that old. I mean, you take somebody that is already having a rough go at life and then you jump onto that to them.

That's that's low down. I agree. Pretty, pretty. But when I was 16, I was like, dude, you got to see what I got from Video Warehouse. Video Warehouse? You got that? You rented that? Yeah, I rented it.

Where else would you get it? This is pre-internet. Well, not pre-internet. Pre-me having internet that did anything like show Bumfight videos. I would've guessed like 2002. Old Ecoms world would have had that or something. 2002, 2003, something like that. Yeah, you could rent that, Faces of Death, all sorts of stuff.

We had this, I remember when I worked at the movie store, there was like, we didn't have porno, but we did have some like, there was like this one, it was kind of like a Girls Gone Wild, but it was like a ghetto, low rent, Girls Gone Wild. And it was like black girls stripping and just handicam footage of that. And I remember I remember like, I don't see what this is about. I took that home with me one night. And this

like bananas and pussies and like lighter fluid on asses and like, just it was like bootleg as hell. But and we had it right there next to fucking Magnolia. It was like bootleg as hell, but and we had it right there next to fucking Magnolia When I was growing up in very very rural Georgia back in the 70s and 80s apart by the way I'm here to kind of near Rome up that that corner of the state Rome Somerville that kind of corner. Okay, and There was a place near us the only place you could get video rentals around there. Cable was illegal in my town because of MTV, you know, Prince or Madonna or somebody might come on. So the city made it impossible for cable to come into the town. But we had around the outskirts,

we had juniors, live bait, video rentals and handguns, which was right next door to the salvage grocery store where you get all the like dented cans and stuff like that. So about, my parents had a friend that had a VCR and when they would go out of town, they would loan us the VCR and we would go up there to rent something. And same deal, you know, he's only got about a hundred tapes in there.

It's Rambo or Predator or something like that. You know, we wanted to watch. But there was an adult section that was just one of the shelves. They're all made out of like wood with the videos, Lena. And it just had like a sheet hanging over it. And you had to like lift up the sheet to see, you know, whatever the R rated or naked videos that were back there.

And of course, you know, if your mom caught you lifting the sheet up when you were like nine, you got in trouble. But Junior's Live Video Rels and handguns, it was an institution back then, but yeah. What do we do for our business plan? A little of everything. Exactly.

What are these people need? They need guns, videos, and some live bait. And it worked. It was like, it was like the crickets and the worms and like a couple of cases of like big 44 magnums with scopes on them. And then just walls of rando videos with that one little naked section with the sheet in front of it.

And that's everything you need. That was it, man. We were big time in it back then. As much as I love the convenience of, you know, everything being digital and on all the streaming services and even like Woody mentioned a movie before we started, I think, and I just like typed it in, put it on the request it for a plex and like it'll be there in a little while. I kind of miss the, I don't know, the ritual of being, hey, you want to look

at a movie? Oh yeah. Let's go to the movie store. It's oh yeah. They're half there by one, get one after seven. Let's go go and like just the smell of that place and perusing the aisles and looking at your old favorites so you've seen this one yes that one you like sharing those those moments with each other and just walking around in there the candy that you hoped your mom would buy you even though she already bought all the movies and be like oh but mom there if you buy three you one for free. So we just need two more than you were originally going to buy. And you tend to get, yeah, I would always be begging to rent a lot of snow caps again. These suck. Yeah.

But now you're absolutely right. And there was a great, I mean, aside from the nostalgia of that, it was kind of like back when music was on CDs and cassettes, like it was special. Like when you got that one movie, you know, Rathakhan or it is you're going to watch, like you rented it. Like that was your one movie, maybe for the month. And it really meant something. And you, you know, you got there, you were excited to watch it now and you can just stream it. You just pause it, go back to it, watch it again. Like doesn't mean as much same deal with like streaming music. It's, you know, when you used to have to really take care of that NWACD or that, you know, 1984 Van Halen

on cassette. Like you, you loaned it to your buddy. You were happy to get it back. Like you made sure it didn't get dusty. Like we really treasured our music and movies. And I think people take them for granted a lot more now. It's all ethereal now. It's just, it's just, it's, it's in the vapors when back then it was this piece of, it's

a hard piece of plastic that like, if I, you know, if I lose it, I lose it. Yeah, there were stakes. You get in trouble by the video store guy. They can scold you. They can scold you. They can say, don't do it too. Don't do it. You can get blackballed from a Hollywood video to ask me how I know.

I know how you know your mom didn't pay those lathe fees. She's here. That's true. She didn't. She kept it. I know how you know your mom didn't pay those late days here. That's true. She kept that rewind. There are places where video rentals still exist though. When we drive up to Alaska every year to eat the cars off a cliff, which actually we're

leaving Tuesday to go do that. When you get way out in those rural areas where there is no cell signal, no broadband, no cable, you are like a wood-fired heater and a generator. You go into the gas stations, there'll just be a little section and it's just only got maybe 10, 15 DVDs, but people still rent them because that's your only way to get any kind of entertainment out there. It's kind of cool to see. Yeah, there's a Hollywood video because that was the closest video store to my grandparents' house, and they're in very rural southern Missouri. And so that itself was a 45, 50 minute drive when

we were kids. So it was an ordeal to go get it. And I saw it a couple of years ago. It was no longer Hollywood video branded, but it was like video rental and dispensary. And so they kind of branched out. And so, no, it wasn't even a full on dispensary. It was like video rental and dispensary. And so they kind of branched out. And so, no, it wasn't even a full on dispensary. It was just CBD, which is like Weeds Legal in Missouri. So what the fuck are you doing? Like who's going to a CBD score at this point to rent Predator? Nobody.

So I don't think they're still in business. But I do miss the ritual part of it. It was fun. It turned it into an activity. And I always, when I was like very little would eagerly await when we'd left the video store because my mom never wanted to buy us candy at the video store because she'd always be like, it's a ripoff here. It's a huge ripoff. And so you, there's always a fucking Walgreens or CVS near everything in this

whole country. So then you pop by fucking Walgreens and the candy at Walgreens compared to the candy at Blockbuster is like half price. And my mom's already had like the cost shock of Blockbuster candy. Exactly. Now she's letting me and my brother and like a friend or two, if they're there, like all of us are getting to pick out multiple candies. Maybe you get some Jiffy Pop. They'd have those hanging and you could get that Jiffy Pop, which wasn't the best popcorn, but it was kind of its own experience. That was fun. You got to stand by the, did you guys ever do that? You stand by the stove and you just move it back and forth

and it pops in that big tin foil thing. Last time I watched Scream, we did that. Because you may remember one of those is a central sort of Plot point in the beginning of the movie scream when drew Barrymore is getting prank phone call She's making it and she like because she's being harassed and attacked. She leaves it on the stove So it's it's it's burning and in the alarms going off and there's smoke this whole thing industry Barrymore Yeah, stab her to dig death right there at the beginning. Shocking. Real, real bait and bait and switch with Drew Barrymore in that movie. Yeah, made you think she was gonna be a big part of it. Wasn't. It wasn't. Yeah, the killer off at the beginning. She was the biggest star in the cast and they kill her off in the first 10 minutes.

Yeah, it's kind of like that's what psycho was to with Jimmy Curtis mom. What's her mom? Janet Lee? Yeah, she's a she's in psycho and they kill her 30 minutes into a two hour movie. She gets stabbed to death. I watched a movie last night about them. It's Anthony Hopkins as Hitchcock and it's about the making of psycho. That was pretty good. I read an interview with Hitchcock and it's about the making of Psycho. That was pretty good. I read an interview with Hitchcock's daughter one time and the interviewer asked her what her dad's guilty pleasure movie was. And she said it was Smoking the Bandit, which is hilarious.

Just imagine him sitting around watching Smoking the Bandit. But I like his movies, I guess, but he's like a product of his times. The sensor board was so over the top then that he couldn't really make the movies he wanted to make. And clearly he was a great filmmaker, but the subject matter, he couldn't go as adult as he needed to go in that decade. And is it correct that like the blood in the psycho shower scene was like chocolate syrup or something because they wouldn't let him use fake blood or he had to shoot it in black and white so it didn't freak out the sensors or something is that.

I mean the movies in black and white I don't even remember if there is blood in the shower scene I don't remember exactly I haven't seen I haven't seen psycho in a long long time I've only seen it two or three times. time. I've only seen it two or three times. But I know that the camera angles were really interesting the way he sort of implies nudity and implies violence but never shows it. And again, that was just that shitty ratings board not letting him do anything. It was the first time, I think, in American history that a toilet was shown on screen. Definitely the first time a toilet had ever been shown flushing. The idea was repugnant. They were like, never. And in the history of American cinema, has a filmmaker deemed it necessary

to show a toilet flushing? And he's like, well, see, it's kind of a central plot piece because she tries to flush the evidence. That was the first time that ever happened. So like, you can imagine what they thought about the incest, necrophilia, psychopathy, voyeurism and homosexuality that was also explored in the movie. Yeah. Necrophilia is like a thousand patients past toilet flushing. Wouldn't get caught dead with a necrophiliac.

What a gross thing to be into. Poor people like I you've got to pity that person like like like the person who's like thing, the thing that really gets them going is a dead cold body. But they're probably also mergers. Not always. I don't think they always are. I always like like the sort of like when you break down like that that mental illness whatever is causing that it seems like it's triggered by These abandonment issues that they had early on as a child and the idea of having that body

Be dead it can't leave them now like this can't leave me now This can't ever leave me you see that a lot with like Bundy and some of the others with the way they kept body parts and the things they did preserving parts was it was this idea of like, now you can't leave. Now you're this is a person I, this person will hurt me. You know, this person can't leave me. That's the worst possible route. Like if I were their caregiver, I'd be like, I understand you got a lot of problems, but have you considered like drugs, like the hardest drugs you can think of? Like as much as you please, as much as you please. Nothing but cold pussy for me.

No, sir. Nothing but cold, cold pussy. I'm over here fucking a ham sandwich late at night when you're not looking. When the lips turn blue, you know, it's cold as the Rockies. Oh, I wonder. Well, that scene in Clark's like where the guy's dead in the bathroom and she thinks it's Dante in the dark and that was always really gross. Yeah.

This guy sucks. I hate it. Why do we hang out with this guy? Yeah, that'd be the kind of thing. But in the post-apocalypse, you wouldn't mind having a necrophiliac in the group. He's not going to compete with you for the live pussy. And also maybe a scare factor. Like maybe you like come up against a rival gang and you're like, you think you guys are tough.

Give us watch this for the next half hour. It's going to take half an hour. This guy takes fucking forever just to get hard. We don't even think he likes it. It's more of a sinister thing. But even more sinister though, like if you take all the women away, what if he develops a crush on you but he only wants you if you're dead? Oh no. Well, we're going to smoke him right away. We're just like the first night me and Taylor beat him to death in his sleep. That's what happens. Like you start weirdness out of the campfire. We're going to death in his sleep. That's what happens. Like you start weirdness out of the campfire.

We're going to get rid of you. I'm telling you the post. I was with you Kyle, I'm with you. And then like as a final payback, you bang him, right? That's what we're going to do. Give it to him. Yeah. Cosmic justice. I'll watch you.

Yeah. I'm watching. You know, who wouldn't want to do that. And you probably get it. I get it. I get it. You need to learn to learn a thing or two. You couldn't even eat that guy. I want, I want. You couldn't eat him because he's got a thing or two. You can't even eat that. I know. You could need him because he's got a bunch of like he's rife with diseases. You'll get like pre-ons.

Oh, wait a minute. I just what are you doing that to his butt? Like he can't enjoy it. But in a zombie apocalypse, it's heaven for him. The undead women are everywhere walking around. They got he wouldn't even like that. He's on your own theory. Now he's our berserker. The undead women are everywhere walking around. They call you wouldn't even like that based on your own theory. Now he's our berserker.

We send corpse fucking Carl out first thing and he just slices and dices and takes his pleasures. I think a necrophiliac might be like a gold star player on your zombie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good.

He's got taste for it. I don't like that. Yeah, yeah, that's a good, uh, he's got taste for it. I don't like that. Or like what you would your star player get like special privileges. Then you have somebody like pretending to be a necrophiliac, but actually isn't, but just trying to plow through it. Cause they want the extra food ration or whatever. Eric, you gotta want it. Yeah, you see. Eric, you got to run it.

You're the only part of our gang or not. And we're all dressed like, like a rope. All the like like Dick sporting goods and Cabela's were already raided. And so we're wearing like like Daddy Dom BDSM straps. Cause we think that's the coolest remaining stuff. Those are the only leathers left. The only leathers.

Ash is a campsuit. That would actually be funny in a movie. If everybody had split up, make sure you get some leathers. All right. They can't bite through that. And everybody goes for the motorcycle shop except for the one guy. And he's got the BDSM gear on.

Got the zipper mask. I like your idea, but ideally we'd put the gag in their mouths. Well you know, if I figure it out I'll retire. Yeah, I wouldn't want to hang out with any of these no-good nicks. Let's do a little wager here. I feel that we're on the precipice of a little bit of history. Trump says that he's gonna, over the next two weeks, he'll decide. It's not a verbal, take weird thing. Yeah.

And over the next two weeks, he'll decide whether or not he's going to bomb Iran. And then like when he was, he had a flag planting ceremony the other day. Did you see this Woody? I know of it. I didn't see video. So he's been putting in some flags at the white house some some big boys like a hundred feet tall they're enormous and very gaudy and And he's the ropes on the inside. These are the best flags. They're the biggest to the tallest

I think he paid for him out of his own pocket and he's like touting that and he's got all these workers behind him and The press corps wants to talk about Iran workers behind him and the press corps wants to talk about Iran, obviously. And he's like, who are you with? CNN? Nobody watches you anyway. And then he just ignores, turns his head away from her and starts shooting the shit with the Fox News guy. Nobody watches them because they're all corrupt. They're all fake. And she's like, but really, sir, but yeah, they're all corrupt. Nobody watches. No one cares and the Fox News guys think perhaps sir what she's what she's trying to say and he's

like yes a man speaking what's that he like takes the quote he's like yeah I'm not gonna answer your question either these are the biggest flags the best flags and he and then they're like are you going to strike that we've heard someone say this and that he's like you don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna tell you what I'm gonna do. No one knows what I'm gonna do. He said that. It was like, I kinda like this.

He's winning me back over with his- Really with the madman theory of unpredictability? I'll say what CNN article, like on the front page of CNN, I looked when we started and it was something like Trump's rhetoric, two week deadline drives negotiators to rush back to tables. And it's like, I bet it does. He's put a ticking time clock on when he drops the 30,000 pound bomb. Like, like, I hope we don't get involved. But what is your bet? Do you think that we don't need to do the two week thing? Do you think

Trump orders American pilots to drop American bombs on Iran? I say no. Yeah, he's generally, I mean, first term, I mean, he was generally pretty non-confrontational when it came to, you know, military stuff around the world. I mean, I don't know. That's a good question. He killed that Iranian general with the Samurai missile. They hated that.

Yeah, true. He's a moth. Yeah, hopefully he doesn't but He's got a lot of very very powerful I think people forget that But he he put more troops in Afghanistan people forget that. I don't want to be a bomb the Iranian guy, but he he put more troops in Afghanistan. What I need to hear from to gauge the danger is that like troop of dorks who will be like the it's only five seconds to midnight on this clock that we make up fucking losers. They should be bullied out of whatever institution they do with their clock scientists out of

this. Get out of here. They blew their wad so early. Some guy in the 80s ruined it for them where he's like, it's four minutes to midnight. And now everyone's like, fuck, there's not a lot of time left for us to do this. Couldn't they have said it was seven? It was 715 and a little balmy? He was accurate. There were two or three incidents

where nuclear almost began. There was one where misread the the radar and they ordered the strike But they literally ordered they said start the war and the guy was like, wait a minute Let me just look double-check this again It didn't there was a there was a nuclear submarine where like a Russian had to go into the missile bay And I think he died doing it diffusing the bomb so it wouldn't go off We've been very close to a world war three scenario many times with the soviet union Just because of the mutually assured destruction like parameters that everyone had Established where ever there were guns pointing from both sides at the other constantly with air triggers basically and you had to be quick

Back then because there wasn't a nuclear triad you had to get the bombers on the way It had it was gonna be some dr. Strange love apocalypse shit. And they came close multiple times. Yeah. There was a, there was a Russian cat. I think it was during the Cuban missile crisis possibly, but same deal. Like he, like somehow communications got scrambled and he got the launch code and was like, not going to do it. It was supposed to stay at depth, but he popped Periscope or something and realized it was not going down. But yeah, it was like this one.

I think it was a nuclear torpedo. I think it was a nuclear torpedo. I think it was a nuclear torpedo to be fired at the American embargo fleet. It would have destroyed the entire American embargo fleet. And that would have began World War three. That would have been it. If they nuke right off the 90, if they send a nuke 90 miles off the coast of Florida, uh, blow up our fleet and then put their ICBMs on Cuba, the bombers would have been in the air. What was your take Kyle? You think Trump is gonna? Yeah I think he's gonna do it. I think he's gonna do it. Do you? Yeah because I don't think the Iranians won't back down. They can't back down. The

situation that I understand it as is that they have a mountain fortress where they enrich uranium or they have something that we don't like in there, who knows what's true, because they've been lying about what Iran has and wants to have for my entire life. John Stewart had a great montage of Netanyahu saying that they are five months away. He's like, that was 1996. And he shows another clip, they're two months away. That's 98. And he goes through the decades of the bullshit. So look, maybe, and I bet the Israelis

and perhaps the American intelligence community would argue this, the reason that they didn't meet those two month, four month, six month, two year projections was because of our actions, the Israeli actions with Mossad, maybe that worm thing they sent in that fucked up the centrifuges at that time. It could have been bullshit from the get-go. Could have been bullshit from the get-go.

I'm open to that. George Bush lied to us and killed a million people and spent a trillion dollars in the Middle East I watched that happen. So it all could be bullshit, but I don't think Iran can back down. I don't think that The Israelis are gonna stop their bombing campaign and they're not gonna be satisfied until that mountain fortress of nuclear material Whatever the fuck it is is destroyed and the only way to do that is with a bunker busting bomb dropped by a B2 stealth bomber. That's the only way that happens. If Trump bombs Iran, I think it wrecks the Republican party for a decade.

And I say that because Iraq did right when they bombed it, when they lied us into Iraq, and then it became very clear. It was all a bunch of horse shit that defined the Republican Party as lying hawks for a long time and then Trump came along and he called out the other Republicans for being liars. He called out Jeb Bush who was going back and forth on whether or not he was pro-Iraq or anti-Iraq and Trump is like calling him on all his flip-flops. You lie, do this. Bullshit. Yeah. And Trump was the guy who said Iraq was a trillion dollar mistake

that we should have never done. And now the question is, will Trump make the same mistake? I think no. We'll see. Yeah, I hope not. But I think he will. The Trump always chicken out. Like Trump always chickens out, you know? So I bet he does again. I mean has legs. The Trump always chicken out like Trump always chickens out, you know?

So I bet he does again. I mean, hopefully. I mean, I wouldn't see him not bombing Iran. I mean, he's killed a lot of people. I would see it as like good, like no one like the only people who are really stoked on a war with Iran are powerful politicians, lobbyist groups, like foreign nations like They're the people who are stuck. Lindsey Graham, scumbags like that. I haven't talked to one normal person who's like,

yeah, I'm really stoked on it. It's going to be great. It's like, no, everyone's like, what? Again? Another one of these countries that has nothing to do with us? What the fuck? Why? One of my favorite things is liberal women on Twitter call Lindsey Graham a faggot. things is like liberal women on Twitter call Lindsey Graham a faggot. Like to his face. They're like, you faggoty little like debutante bitch. You couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag if there was a cock on the other side. What are you thinking? In that case, I probably could. You're a piece of shit. Go do something about your ladybugs and like a paragraph of mean shit. Like I don't, they're so, they're like liberal, like musicians and stuff. It's like, I don't know, lesbian fucking punk fans and shit. Just ripping him with the meanest homophobic

shit you can imagine. He deserves it. He's a war hawk scumbag. I didn't realize he was in the air force. He's talking about, he's like, we need land Graham troops. We need to invade Iran proper. We need regime change. And it's like someone needs to do something about you. They need to vote you out of office, dude. Who are you representing that wants to put boots on the ground in Iran?

I've never met an Iranian I didn't like because I've never met one. That's true. Same thing, right? Ted Cruz acting like, you know, he's here. Blessed are those who protect Israel or something like that. Ted Cruz acts like he's on a mission from God to protect Israel. He is. He believes he is. Tucker Carlson made him say those words. And look, look, He was like- Yeah, I'm glad he forced him to. He said, do you believe that the Israel of the Bible is Netanyahu's Israel that we're talking about today? Oh, absolutely. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, we're commanding the gospel.

It was a government formed in 1948. And it's like, okay, sure. Yeah, that's what it's referencing. Yeah. Hey, well, Matthew. Albert Einstein, the president. You're in the Bible. He turned it down.

I am, yes. Matthew, you're the first of the gospels. That's incredible. I can't believe this has never come up. Surely things don't like change and like meanings adapt over millennia. No, it's definitely you. It's so retarded.

Yeah, so I think he'll do it. I think he's gonna get back into a corner and immediately he sort of pushed Tulsi Gabbard to the side. He said, I don't care what she said said I heard she wasn't invited to Camp David For the the meetings I see the Domino's Service around the Pentagon is blowing up for those don't know that's a real bellwether for military action When you see that the pizza joints around the Pentagon are in like an overload mode It means that all hands are on deck. What's that?

Did you hear the lobster and steak thing? No. So apparently it's tradition to serve the members of the military lobster and steak right before you ship them overseas, and that has happened. According to Reddit, that's my source. You can ignore it if you want to, I don't trust it.

Well, we are reinforcing bases all over the Mideast with manpower and material. they're they're flying planes they're flying lots of refuelers and and people are being are being sent over there hopefully that is just being prepared for an Iranian attack on our bases which is their mode of operation in the past would be to to bomb our bases somehow I googled it I just want to say they did get lobster and steak, but they're saying it's because of the 250th anniversary. What the truth is, I don't know.

Was I going to go ahead, Chris? No, no, no, no. I'm going to the Dodgers. You continue your thought, please. Well, we have an app that we use when we're cannonballing that lets us track any air flights above us, you know, police aircraft tracking, you know, speed, amazing aircraft, that kind of stuff. And one of our guys is just like really into that.

And he posted something to the day. It was like a shit ton of like Casey, 135 tankers all flying like Northeast over the top towards Europe, like dozens and dozens of them. You know, maybe it's some training exercise, but yeah, it could have been staged. And it'll point out if it's military, civilian, police, private, whatever. But yeah, he posted a screenshot and it was just like dozens of them from all over the lower 48. And there might be gifts to Israel.

Good day. The bombers, the bombers have been in position for for over a month now. Remember, we talked about them putting in putting the bombers, the B-2 bombers on that base in the North Indian Ocean within striking range of Iran, definitely with refueling, although the B-2 bomber has insane range. It also has incredible like abilities. That bomb is 30,000 pounds. It carries two. By the way, not on the bottom bolted on like anybody else on the planet who's a human would do. No, it's in a stealth bomb bay that opens up like some shit out of Star Trek. It's like, I love learning about weapon systems. I feel like it

enhances the show and it's interesting. I hope so. I just love those weapons of death and destruction. I wish we had a worthy enemy for them and not people. Deserving enemy. I wish there was a, I wish there was some fucking aliens do the day the aliens come is the day all we stopped worrying about Iran and Israel and fucking Ukraine and Russia and everybody goes, wait, there's green cocksuckers wanting to come down here and raise a ruckus. Uh, we'll worry about this Christianity Judaism thing later. Islam, you're with us to come on everybody, the Buddhists, they're chipping in, everybody's coming.

Everybody's coming in, or it's going to be solidified. It'll be a fucking one. That's how you get world peace is a common enemy. That that is that's what we need. We know how we get those Sentinelese guys to fucking contribute. They jumped in to we need inept alien invaders. They've been they've been flying here on a generational ship for 3000 years. And it's going bad.

They didn't bring enough food or whatever. And when they show up, they're all fucking low protein. They're all weak and we just Fuck them up. That's what we hear me out. They're very sensitive to water. They hate it Burns them like acid it burns them like acid and we have a failed baseball player on our side Super soakers just and we have a failed baseball player on our side. Yeah, that'd be so funny. We use up classes. All that was classifying. We just run out with super soakers. Just kidding. Starlike, you did the atmospheric check, correct?

Yes. Yeah. All right, we're good to go, everybody. I mean, you asked me too, didn't you? I certainly did. Yeah, that motion. Five thousand year trip. That's liquid methane oceans, right?

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But as far as, you know, from a technological standpoint, you know, I don't know, you know, Stephen Hawking, a couple of other people are always very leery about the SETI projects, things like that, because any, the vast distances that exist, like any spacefaring civilization that could reach here would presumably have worked out wormholes

or some other dimensional travel. Like it's not a question of just firing up the spaceship and hauling ass. And like that, we would be like bacteria to them. They would be so advanced, like the idea that they're here for our water, they're here for some mineral, they would have worked out matter on a level

that they could just synthesize any molecule that they needed, make more water, make more gold, whatever it is. Yeah, they won't need material. They would either want our like planet that would like suit their needs because even with the James Webb, we haven't found anything that's quite like us.

Like a rocky planet within the habitable zone that's the right size with a magnetic field with the right atmosphere, with the right ingredients, that's not some hellscape. We haven't found one and all they do is look. So maybe they want that or maybe they want us Maybe they want us for some reason because we are like I mean stardust turned into consciousness that Exactly, maybe they just wanted his like pets like we'd all just be like hamster. Oh, we'd be the best pets

Please get a nice like submissive Korean boy That's a that's a good pet right there. I was thinking like an ant farm, right? You know, you just put us there, then before long log cabins pop up and then we make some cities. They'd probably make us fight. Yeah. Maybe.

Maybe they'd make us all do war. Cause to them that would just be like a fun, silly little battle. Yeah, but even if we're ants to them, I think we'll be interesting ants. You know, we have entire teams of scientists and areas, areas of field of study or fields of study where people look at ants, you know what I mean? They're, they're, they're blown away by ants.

Uh, as I don't like when I hear, uh, astrophysicists or futurists or whatever say that they're like, oh, they wouldn't care about us really. How do you know? How, how do you know it's not just us and them in the entire universe that are conscious, smart people? They would be incredibly interested in us, even if we're retarded to them. If we went spacefaring and we found a planet full of ants, it would be amazing to us.

Oh my God, space ants. I want some. It would be the new pet for the holidays, for sure. But I mean, that, you know, the whole Fermi period paradox of, you know, yeah, why haven't we heard anything? Why haven't we seen anything? You know, it could be that we're not interested enough, but also, you know, I read something once that like the gravitational levels

that hold Earth in a sustainable orbit for carbon-based life forms, whatever, like the variance goes down to like the fourth power of if it was plus or minus just that little bit, we would be either too cold, too hot. Like all the different Goldilocks zone type things that happen to make our planet survivable for life as we know it anyway, like are so rare and so specific that it is quite possible that there maybe we are the only ones in the Milky Way.

It can't be too big. It can't be too big because the gravity won't allow for certain kinds of evolution to take place. It can't be too small because then it won't have an iron core. So it won't have a magnetosphere to protect it from solar rays that would radiate any kind of bacteria for your building blocks of life.

It can't be too close. it can't be too far. It's just any number of things. Although I'm real fascinated with this ice moons out in the Jovian system and around Saturn. There's life in there. I would bet anything that there are little wormy things living under that ice. I just know there are.

Yeah, I feel the same way. I mean, they found enough extreme bacteria here that live in like sulfur vents. Feed off radiation. Yeah. Or under lakes and things and, you know, frozen under the ice in Antarctica. But yeah, there's that would be, that would be pretty wild. Like I love that concept and I just want somebody to land something on there

and drill down and find something that would be well, Trump cut our budget. So not this decade. Yeah, not this time around, but I, did you ever seen the meme recently where it was saying that Trump should claim that he identifies as a female because the left would have to either acknowledge that he's the first female president or admit that gender ideology is, is both, and they were like, you know, he's crazy. Now he might do it.

Like he's just like, you know, he doesn't give a shit. And I thought, you know what he would get? he would get the biggest titties the best titties Quadruple D. I got one more thing and then we should wrap up. I saw someone called Melania third lady on Twitter Trump's second wife he he was married to Ivanka and then what's that lady's name? Isn't there an Ivana and an Ivanka? That's the daughter. Ivana was the first one. Back in the 80s, he was rich and famous with Robin Leach and all that. That was Ivana Trump.

Yeah, third wife. Marla Maples. That's it. She was pretty, though. Trump hasn't had an ugly wife. His wife at the time. He's a billionaire. Well with that. Well, where can everyone find your wonderful content? I'm sorry. Where can everybody go to find all your stories? All your stuff? Oh, sorry. Sorry. Well, I continue to put stories on the VinWiki YouTube channel. My buddy, Ed, keeps having me on there to tell some stories. I hosted the Off-Road Games with Matt's Off-Road

Recovery this year. So there's a lot of fun stuff out there on his channel as well. I pop up here and there. Maybe it's up at 1320 video coming up soon. And as always, you can go to Christopher Michael's art dot com and get some sweet merch with my smiling face on it. And that's my jam. I've never gotten into social media myself, but I have such a good time on other people's. I always have a great time coming over you guys. I just love how the conversation just I never know where it's going. You know, and I go a lot of places and talk about cannonball or retail stories that I've told fast, but you guys, it could go anywhere and I love it. This is the most fun podcast. Always have such a great time with you guys.

Thank you again for having me back. I love it every time. It's a pleasure. Yeah. Thank you. 7 57.