Painkiller Already - PKA 758 W/ Vito & Harley: Shark Fishing With Taylor

Episode Date: June 28, 2025

PKA 758 with our guests Vito and Harley. Kyle? Show brought to you tonight by BetterHelp, our wonderful merchandise. Lock and load. And of course Patreon. Links all down below. Click those if you're interested. We'll get to them later in the show.

But yeah, double guest. No video. Taylor looking to be a good night. Yeah, Taylor went on vacation to South Sudan and his internet connection is too slow for video Well, I could tell you weren't paying attention. I'm actually in Libya. Okay, my bad and Doing doing exotic hunting or whatever people do in Libya nowadays sex tourism Taylor. We know why you went That would be so funny I'm going for sex tourism, but I can't swing Thailand. We end up in Libya and you're like, ah, this is good.

I like the way the boys look in that country. Turns out Iranian vacations are cheap right now. I bet they are. They're cheap as hell. I was looking at what vacations in Tel Aviv cost. Everything's half off. Everything's half off. I get my passport updated. Oh, I bet they are. I bet they're on the cheapest cell. I was looking at what vacations in Tel Aviv costs. Everything's half off. Everything's half off. I got to get my passport updated. Oh, I bet they hate that.

They got bigger fish to fry over there, man. But yeah, like everything, all the like vacation rentals and stuff were half price in Tel Aviv. And I bet the same. They're like, no one's here. Like no one's working anywhere. No one's buying anything.

Everyone's literally like in their fatigues in airplanes or in comm centers. No one's like living, not enough people there for that. And no tourists, no tourists in particular. So like, I don't know what the Jewish equivalent to Disneyland is, but I bet you can get right to the front of those lines. Well, it's a throwing,

it's shooting the kids who threw rocks at you. That's their Disneyland. How can you pay to do that? Kid throws a rock you go The Mickey Mouse equivalent is a five dollar bill you can see that mascot ever It's a five dollar bill I think his name is five ish And if you look it up, it's literally like a Jewish mascot. Did like, Gurbals come up with this?

Who made this? Honestly, our best material is usually it comes from us. You know, the best part is if y'all did have a Disney World, your best roller coaster would go just high enough over the wall that the Palestinians could see them going, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and then we kind of we took it along with everything else Walt's rolling in his fucking cryopod Yeah, just like how we we borrow like the Rudolph song I think like Rudolph and the Santa songs are mostly written by Jewish people right

Yeah, I don't know man. I'm not deep that that deep into Jewish hate that I'm looking up who wrote all the Christmas songs Steep steeped. Yeah, you're still looking for the spear of destiny. He thinks they can still pull this out The spear of destiny Hitler was looking for the spear of destiny to win World War. Did you not play the follow-up to Wolfenstein 3d? Very important Or study. I did not actually were looking for the spear of destiny 3d very important or study. I did not actually were looking for the spirit of destiny The spear that killed that What cut Jesus on the side is imbued with his blood because they touched his blood. That's right

Which I guess knows that makes it powerful enough to kill every Jew or something like how does that work? But you know the picture it turned it into some sort of magic staff. Yeah But you know the picture it turned it into some sort of magic staff. Yeah There's a lot more magic than a staff to stop that level of evil I Have to share this Rudolph the red news rate rate red-nosed reindeer was written by a Jewish guy He was working for Montgomery Ward department Store and creating a character for promotional material. Dude, all of Modern Christmas was obviously created by Jewish executives. Like, yeah. I want you to also look at Montgomery Ward.

Oh, Santa's a big fat guy in a red suit? Who came up with that? Harvey Finkelstein, the head of advertising at Coca-Cola. Like, come on. Montgomery Ward took out an insurance policy on the World Trade Center four days before the attack. All this shit is connected, dude. Yeah, it's a giant web. I had this close to where this close to having this podcast go full fucking on a whole level that it's never been

the full black bill I guess the check from Israel cleared how would he? Love the Jewish entrepreneurial spirit is that they're always figuring out where the money is and it's like brilliant Did you ever have you watched that you think I come on this fucking pot exactly? Harley knows what he's doing. It turns out Harley spreading anti-jewish propaganda and that's not true Did you ever watch that a documentary on Netflix the the toys that made us or whatever? Yeah, it's great Yeah, yeah, and they have the episode about the guy who came up who made Power Rangers into like a sensation And it's just a old Jewish guy

Who's just like yeah, I was writing, you know, I wrote the inspector gadget theme song He was making all these like jingles and shit and they was looking around He's like man all these fucking cartoons make a shit ton of money Why don't I just steal one from Japan and like, you know, turn it into something. And then he found a Japanese show called Jew Ranger and he went Jew Ranger. That's my god. That's really what, you know, it's probably spelled J.Y.U. or something. But he's like, Jew Ranger, Jew Ranger. He literally says it in the documentary.

And yeah, that's why it's Saban's Power Rangers. Everybody thinks Saban is a company. It's one Jewish guy named Saban. And he just put his fucking name on things. Yeah, those are my Power Rangers, everybody thinks Saban is a company. It's one Jewish guy named Saban. And he just put his fucking name on it. Those are my Power Rangers. And made a bajillion. He's donated, and that dude has donated so much money to Israel that Power Ranger fans

are actually weirded out about it. What's really interesting about it was that Japanese show was nothing. It was over, canceled, done. No one gives a fuck about it. Oh, now all of a sudden the Jew picks it up, shines it up, makes it look real nice and good. Now everyone wants it. Now it doesn't belong to the Jew anymore. This is the one that picked it up and actually made it what it is today. But fuck him. Fuck him. Right. Wait, I don't I don't say fuck him because he's the he then that makes

him the guy who was like, well, I think we know who the Black Ranger should be and the Red Ranger should be. And I've got the Yellow Ranger figured out. That's not right. Something's wrong here.

That's not right. Like it wrong here. That's not right. Like it was a very even like literally being 10 years old, being like, they made the black ranger black man. The yellow rangers. That's a questionable one. It made so much sense. Like only sensitive Nancy Panties get up. I bet the yellow ranger, she was like, hey, yellow, right?

I get the yellow one. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like the fucked up thing was they, they made the native American red. Like, like that to what I mean like like the thing was they they made the Native American red Like like that to me was the real like mean thing because the black rager probably wanted to be black That's the coolest color if you ask me But there's no way and the girls the pink ranger did she do porn didn't pink ranger do porn with the yellow range you tied on 9-eleven yeah, the yellow ranger did 9-ele no she died on 9-11 unrelated to the towers

It's tragic she was it she was rear-ended in Ontario It's like have you ever seen I'm sure you've seen that old Norm Macdonald bit where he's like 9-11 I was walking through blood and bone looking for my brother in the streets. He was in northern Canada The other Ranger is dead, I don't know how she died Car accident 9-eleven Taylor's the one that likes to fact check me and usually prove me wrong. She did die September 3rd, 2001! That's only like a week ahead of time! She knew.

Her body was cremated on September 10th. So that's probably why you didn't hear about it. It's like, man, imagine you get cremated a day later. You know, if she had been alive, her and the Rangers might have stopped. Could have stopped it. Yeah, Zordon would have definitely sent him out. Zordon would have easily... Rangers!

Zordon would have easily defeated the putties. Zordon's real last name is Bloomskull. The putties are after the towers. There's a bunch of putties like Chewing and Failing clumsily tickling. The putties have box cutters. We've never seen this. That would be great if they went in for the time and Khalid just cuts Pink Ranger's throat with a box cutter.

Oh my God. Oh, fuck, these guys play for keeps. The putties never killed anyone before. Rita Poulsa just goes, this is my new friend Osama Bin Laden. He's got some cool ideas And everybody gets a knife now. I don't know why we didn't do this before Yeah, then the car is stopped or something. He had a little yet a little whistle dagger Oh, we had a flute he pull out to call up his like green Mac out of the water dragon zord. Yeah, dude. That was so big for me when I was a kid

I was I watched the first season debut and I remember like everybody on the playground was doing Power Rangers shit. They were all doing the it's morphin time shit jumping off stuff. My buddy Chad, he went, it's morphin time. And he jumped off the slide, like all the way down to the ground and bit his tongue halfway off. Oh, my God. Just the idea of his own personal 9-11. Chad and Kyle in like 1998 just sounds like they're getting up to some shit.

Fuck, 98 too late. This was like this is my second grade. Yeah. Ninety five. Yeah. No, Chad was hardcore. Chad was the kid who could do back flips in elementary school out of the swing set. He was the kid who could do cool shit always in elementary school out of the swing set He was the kid who could do cool shit always Do you remember when beetle Borgs dropped? Yeah, big bad beetle Borgs

I remember that being the biggest disappointment in my young life because look Power Rangers is great. How they're like I'm 38. I think How old I was when Beetle Borgs came out But I remember we were all getting hyped. All the kids were like, dude they're making a Power Rangers but it's about kids who are Power Rangers and they have Beetle costumes. And we all like got so

hyped. We're like this is going to be great. This is going to be the greatest show. And then the first episode they're hanging out with a gay blue guy in a haunted house. Yes! And I'm like, what the fuck is this? What the fuck? Like they didn't have like a cool base. They were literally in a haunted house with like this gay blue

Jay Leno looking motherfucker. Yeah. He's like, and he's like, oh, I'm so happy. And I'm like, no, no, it's supposed to be cool. This sucks. I remember over Beatleborg show could have been huge. Oh, my God. You guys couldn't tell this was going to suck. Look at the guy in the back. What is wrong with you people?

They only showed us the suits. It was a crucial year because I'm 39. It's a crucial year where I knew that that never had a chance. But one year before me, I would have ate that shit up for sure. Like it is there's a crucial year that happens there. You go from Beatleborg to wanting hand jobs in one year when you're growing up. That is true. Dude, they showed off the suits. Like that was all the promos. All the promos were like,

look at these kids. They have robot suits. They're going to fight bad guys. And you loaded the episode and he's like Oh Borgs There was a really there was a really crazy show I actually like it was they would go into the computer It was Matthew Lawrence Joey Lawrence's brother. He went into like the oh, yeah It was all like virus Style and I think I loved that show. What was that? Cyber something cyber squad cyber squad cyber something. I remember getting so hyped for that Yeah, no that show was great. I ate that shit up, but all these superhuman samurai cyber squad

Yeah, oh no, maybe that's a different one. No, that's it. Superhuman samurai cyber squad. Yeah. These shows what they after, uh, after that Jew came up with that devious idea, all these people, they bought, they bought up these, uh, what do you stop acting like you give a shit dude you let you guys did Holocaust topics for years now I want to have fun. It's a problem You know I just scrubbed through that you posted of the beetle Borg tile and it looks like if that had waited eight years and gone on at 1 15 a.m. on Adult Swim, it might have survived.

It didn't have any humor. It didn't have any like quick witted humor or any like adult jokes. It was just trash. I remember it and I remember this is this is just rip off Power Rangers. Just like I thought Digimon was the same thing. Cause I watched a little bit of Pokemon cause it would come on Saturday mornings and then they came out with Digimon.

And I remember getting invested in the Digimon fucking storyline, but then it was 90s TV. So you never got to like the next episode to find out if they did the thing. Dude, we were just talking about this that I could never get into Digimon cause remember there was the little kid and his gay flying Digimon that everyone said your Digimon's gay and he sucks He doesn't do anything and then I would come back and it would be the episode

We were like dude Did you see how that gay Digimon turned into like a fucking giant cyber angel warrior and killed everybody and I'm like no I missed that fucking episode So I missed the episode where Angelmon apparently goes like, like fucking rap on everybody. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I couldn't get invested in Digimon. Digimon was the like I was so into Pokemon as a kid.

It was the first multi-billion dollar IP that I felt like a strong amount of loyalty to where like friends would talk to me about Digimon. And I'd be like, you're so gay. Pokemon rules Pokemon is about Digimon and I'd be like, you're so gay, Pokemon rules. Pokemon is the- Digimon was definitely- Digimon sucks. Digimon was definitely gayer than Pokemon, right? Well, where's Yu-Gi-Oh in this scale you guys are putting?

Where's Yu-Gi-Oh lie here? I can't think of Yu-Gi-Oh out of the lineup. I never really watched much of it. Yeah. You know, wait, Yu-Gi-Oh started off hardcore. Have you ever read the actual Yu-Gi-Oh comic? No, I mean, for straight. I only heard of Yu-Gi-Oh started off hardcore. Have you ever read the actual Yu-Gi-Oh comic? Because originally- I know, I'm being portrayed.

I only heard of Yu-Gi-Oh five seconds ago. Okay, so everybody knows Yu-Gi-Oh because it's about the cards, right? Originally, Yu-Gi-Oh was not about a card game. It was about just like a guy who would set various traps involving like certain games. Like he loved games and he was inhabited by the spirit of like this ancient trickster Egyptian god. And so he would find bad people. He was like this little Japanese kid who would find bad people and be like,

we're going to play a game. And if you lose, I'm going to send you to the shadow realm. And the game would be like, you have to figure out how to get this lighter off your hand while you're pouring a drink without getting set on fire. Or you had like a, we're going to play ice hockey, but the puck's made out of ice and we're playing on a hot griddle and in the middle of the puck is nitroglycerin. So whoever side the puck is on when it melts is going to explode and die. Wow.

So this guy had money. And then they did one issue where they played a card game and he trapped fucking that Kaiba guy in a magic dimension. And every kid in Japan went, you guys should do more of the card shit. I don't care about anything else. Just the card game. That's what the show became. The cards, they weren't going to be, I always thought it was a Pokemon copy from the beginning. No, like they just did a Pokemon copy from the beginning no like

they just did a one-off like story of like you know oh hey this card games really popular and it was just like a one-shot issue but then Japanese kids were like that was badass make the whole thing about cards kids were like no cards I have cards make this all cards but he used to be way darker like again he was just like finding people and like basically killing them. I mean, they just, you know, maiming them beyond belief. That sounds like a way better show. It was pretty cool.

Why didn't the MLB or the NFL with their trading cards ever come up with like a game to play with those cards like a way to try it all with the car? I remember they had Marvel overpower. There was a baseball card game. I was going to They had I remember they had Marvel overpower. There was a baseball card game. I was going to say, I think there was a baseball one. Yeah. There was a couple of wrestling ones. I collected cards like Marvel 93, 94, 95 metal cards, and they didn't do anything. And I remembered like years ago busting it out to show my nephew.

And he was like, Whoa, oh, my God. I was like, yeah, look at it. he was like whoa oh my god I was like yeah look at it he was like sick how do you play I was like oh you don't he was like so why do you have this and then I was like back in the day if you wanted to see a picture of venom you had to be in a comic store or hope someone would walk by with venom on their feet. And then you'd be like, Oh, stop. This is the fourth time I've ever seen venom in my life.

Can I look and I drink in this picture of him? You know, like this, this is like you had no, you had no access to photos and shit. I, I, when I was in elementary school and this goes into the whole, you know, you miss an episode, what the fuck happened in Canada, like sailor moon was a hit for everyone, guys and girls in the fifth grade, they all liked sailor moon. And we had the first season and I was one of the few people to internet in the class. And I remember looking up sailor moon and there was like sailor Mars, Jupiter and Venus and sailor moon. But in the later seasons, other girls in the class became like sailor Pluto and all that shit. But that's

later seasons, which were out, but we only get the trends. I started printing out pictures of sailors that don't exist in Canada was selling them for like a dollar. Printed color. I hate the game. I got on getting it's a hate the game situation change the rules. Don't figure it out again piss you off, but change the rules. He didn't make him buy him. He just offered the service. Do you like spawn because Cause like venom was made by Todd McFarlane and he got pissed off with Marvel or whatever went and did his own thing

and made spawn. I always liked spawn. Even the sh**ty 90s movie. I like, I know I love garbage, but I love that movie. And I wait, if you watch that movie again, John Leguizamo fucking kills it. Oh yeah. I later. Oh yeah. He kills that whole movie. He's great in it. He's awesome. I thought Spawn, yeah he made Spawn because he made Venom and Marvel is making like a billion dollars but Marvel is not like DC apparently. They don't give you any love if you have created a character. I think DC gives you, I mean DC gives a little more love but back then like no comic company was helping anybody out. Yeah. So yeah it was Todd McFarland just got everybody

together. He's like, Hey, you see how they like we draw a thing and they put it on like all these t shirts and tote bags and we don't get a fucking slice of it. And they're like, yeah, like, you know, we could just like make comics, right. And it fucking worked. Like images is hilarious. Like, because Marvel Marvel like literally panicked. They're like, oh God, we fucked up horribly as they watched all their top talent leave And it's actually one of the reasons now like Marvel doesn't really promote their artists anymore because they used to be like Hey with hotshot artist Todd McFarlane, but now they want the artist to feel like, you know, nobody's slaves They're like, yeah, don't worry about who drew it. It doesn't matter that we don't want to get an ego and leave

Yeah, I like spawn a lot Like, yeah, don't worry about who drew it. It doesn't matter. We don't want him to get an ego and leave. Yeah. I like Spawn a lot. I thought that was brilliant. Like mixing it in with theology and making that part of his backstory, you know, all the heaven and hell stuff. I think Spawn beats God. I know Spawn beats God at one point.

Yeah. That's a cool comic. Spawn's great. It sucks that Todd, you know Angela from Spawn? He lost that character. The angel blonde girl? Todd's not allowed to use her anymore. Marvel has her now.

How did he sell it? So back when they were making comics, it would be like, he's like, oh, it's all about the spirit of creators. And he went, hey, Neil Gaiman, my good friend Neil Gaiman, would you like to write an issue of Spawn? Neil Gaiman, not a weird shit. For sure not into any weird shit, Neil Gaiman my good friend Neil Gaiman, would you like to write an issue of spawn? And you know guys not weird shit for sure not into any weird shit Neil Gaiman. Yeah Yeah, well, that's the thing is now Todd's vindicated years later than apparently Neil Gaiman's a weirdo, but he's like, yeah I'll write an issue. It's about a cool angel chick named Angela because I'm very clever and

Then she became like the coolest spawn character and Todd immediate was like, uh, I know I said you own anything you create for me, but she's like super popular. So that's like not really a thing anymore. And then Neil's like, no, I definitely own her. And they had to go to court over it or something. And the court said, yeah, Todd doesn't own that bitch. And then I guess Neil sold her to Marvel. I hope they make it into another movie again.

Cause like I said, the first movie was fine. John Leguizamo, like you said, stole the show. He could come back. He could come back as violator. There's no reason. That's the great thing about all that makeup. That's what I always say about Star Trek. Like warf can be war forever because he's got so much shit on his face. But Leguizamo could come back and be the violator and they could do that movie right this time with modern CGI because the CGI is really the worst part. The worst part. You see all the same copy pasted devil demons when you're going into hell. It looks like a devil looks like his cape looks good in the dark and quick shots because it's like this giant magical flowing like tapestry of evil.

But then you get a better look at it and it looks like shit. But his powers are cool. He's got those evil powers and he's dark as fuck. The animated version on HBO is pretty good too, if you've ever seen that. Yeah, no, the animated version is a classic. You know who's signed to play Spawn right now is- Ryan Gosling. Jamie Foxx.

Oh, right. Yeah, Ryan Gosling, close. Yeah. And Todd McFarlane keeps saying he's gonna direct it he has to figure out when and Well, I don't know man. I don't think he's ever directed as he I was gonna say has he directed something before no So I thought you were gonna say he just has to figure out how to direct and then he's gonna direct it Well, that's what's crazy about it is that I'm like, Todd is like one of these guys who like, seems like he can do anything, you know?

He always claims that he can, but I'm like, I don't know if he should be directing films, man, that seems like a little bit of a mess. Well, Ben Affleck did argue. I know for a fact he can't give monologues because I only know of Spawn because Kyle linked me a video of the Spawn TV show once, and it starts with that guy, Todd McFarland,

giving like the most, the least enthused, me a video of the Spawn TV show once and it starts with that guy Todd McFarland giving like the most the least enthused it's like he's being paid to be there and he's unhappy with the gig or he's like this is Spawn and I'm kind of I guess I'm okay with it you know enjoy the story of a man who has to fight back from hell yeah it was a little he's like in a in a dark room and Kyle was saying it was funny when you sent me the video and I'm like, this does look funny, but this guy, if they told him sell this show as poorly as you can, he couldn't have killed that role more. Really, really rough stuff.

He shouldn't be in front of a camera ever. Yeah, it's bad. Well, what's hilarious about him, so you know he has that whole toy company, which is how he makes all his money now, right? McFarland Toys. Like he makes infinitely more money from that than the comics or anything else. And they have a YouTube channel and like half the videos are just like shitty cell phone videos of him going, So I thought uh, Spi- Superman needed a new vehicle, so I are uh, I gave him like a, you know, some- some arms in the vehicles and the vehicle can punch and I'm just like, Todd, get like a guy!

Other than, I know it's your company, but like there's just the shittiest just him in a room with the action figure playing with it like a kid. It's gonna sell itself. But in a way I'm like, I don't know, maybe this is the best possible marketing because watching Todd McFarlane play with a stupid Superman toy I'm like, I do kind of want that stupid Superman vehicle he made. How expensive is it? Because like every time I look at something like that, I'm shocked that it's 180 or something. No, no, very cheap.

He does. He does like Marvel Legends competing. Like, well, now everything's expensive in that whole space. But look at like 45 Canadian dollars, 40 Canadian dollars for one of these. I was looking at Warhammer the other day. Like I have no interest in the tabletop part of Warhammer. I like the lore and the books and stuff. Buy that. Buy it. That Joyride way. I have it upstairs. Do you want some Warhammer? I have that one 18th Joyride space marine that you might be talking about. It's just a blue space marine and he's like an 18th scale. Oh, I thought you were talking about the war hammer.

There's one war hammer figure that I bought. So I want to have, it's not a board game toy. It's just like an actual action figure. And it's one 18th scale and it's a space Marine with like a chainsaw sword and a bolter. And it's just trying to keep up. It's not some stupid toy. It's an action. Well, I think I wanted like Lionel Johnson or something, and it's like a one eighth or something. And it was like two hundred and fifty four hundred dollars

or something crazy like that. And then mine was one 18th. Yeah, it's it's way too expensive for just a knick knack that I want on like a table. I again, I wouldn't play the tabletop. I'm not into that at all. I heard the Titans are like $500 or something like that. And they're hard to put together.

What a rip off of a board game. Just get a 3d printer, dude. Then you have every figure you want. Is there a war hammer trading card game? Like, do you have to do the tabletop? I think the video games are the second most popular. Actually, the video games might be more popular than the tabletop at this point. I don't know.

It has to be. Well, the people that are into the video games, like will spend, you know, they could spend $300 in the last five years of video games or something. But if you're into the tabletop, you could literally buy one figure that costs that much. Yeah. They're crazy.

They are crazy. I have a bunch of buddies in LA that have like whole ass armies all painted and stuff. They're all into painting them. They look so sick. I'm like, well, I should made a plastic ruins a lot of it. Like they should at least be made of pewter or something. They used to be made of pewter.

The original ones were pewter, but then obviously they're like, this is costing way too much and producing pewter miniatures kind of sucks, I assume. There are some guys who only collect the og pewter ones. That's lame I don't like him as plastic either if not pewter than some sort of like I don't resin Yeah, or I don't even know what it is the stuff where you break. It looks like chalk inside. What would that be? chalk Sidewalk and you can like draw stuff

with them. You know, when you play, it's like when you play chess, but like a cheap plastic board and you just kind of move the pieces and it's very unsatisfying. And then you play chess on like a very heavy set. And it's like, man, every piece I move feels like I'm making a real decision. It's loud. It's loud when you put that on the board. There's a, an audible click when I hit it into place.

That's what you should have, especially for spending $200 a piece. That's ridiculous. Like a beautiful woman's high heel spike hitting linoleum. Exactly. That's the sound I want when I'm there with a nerd. And you know what's funny about the tabletop game is I've watched some videos online and apparently at times there are OP armies, which makes sense. It's a tabletop game. But instead of like Magic the Gathering where you just see one card and you're like, oh

damn, this guy's playing like standard meta right now. This is going to be annoying. You have to watch a guy spend 40 minutes setting up his OP army that you know is going to destroy you. And you just had to sit there like frowning and being like, well, yeah, but he's gay because he's playing space marines. I actually love the Lord. That's why I'm playing the orcs, even though I'm about to get rolled here.

The boys. Well, you know what? I was I was listening to something. This is interesting is and I think it's Warhammer, that at top level tournaments, the prizes are determined on a point system, and points are given out not just for winning games, but also most attractive army, or coolest theme, or whatever else. So you can actually win Warhammer tournaments, or do better in them, by doing creative stuff, or being creative with your base in the world. actually win Warhammer tournaments or like do better in them by like doing creative stuff or being creative. Oh, unfortunately, even though Eric lost every match, he did bring a girl.

So that's funny is female space Marines apparently don't exist in the lore because the figures just didn't sell. So they're like, all right, take them out. There's no there's no female space Marines. They have the sisters now, the sisters or whatever. But the battle sisters, they've had they've had those for a while, but they've they're they're adding lady. They're fighting over whether a certain faction can have females members of that faction.

And they're fighting. Hards are like, yeah, the Warhammer community, you know. I mean, I don't like it either. Like, again, I'm into the lore and the novels. So it's like, wait a minute, we're just finding out now that the Emperor created lady custodies as well. And it's been 10,000 years? Oh, 20,000 years.

Oh, funny how we just found that out. Weird, because like I know what Gazgul's breath smells like, but I didn't know that they were fucking lady custodies guarding the emperor for the thousands of years So that's annoying and also it's like add as many women as you want But why does it have to be the absolute pinnacle peak of badass like humans, which is what the custodies kind of are It's I have to know what does gas ghouls breath smell like is it good? Is it bad? Is it not good? What does gas goals breath smell like is it good is it bad is it not good

Right like you smells like smells like it smells like pious loyalty to the Emperor's get Gasgul sounds like an orc name at least in the Lord of the Rings world. Is he not an orc? Yeah, he's the mighty prophet of the WAA he's his full name is my mistake cool yeah yeah he's kind of a big deal his full name is Gazgul Mag Uruk Thraka kind of a kind of a boss his name has a Rook in it and he's not an orc he is an orc he is the yeah he is an orc okay yes he is a he is the chieftain of chieftains. Had I known he was an orc, I would have guessed bad breath. Yeah, real bad. Kyle, do you have any of those Warhammer Magic cards, though?

Those are pretty sick. No, no, I don't have any Magic. I don't collect that stuff. I'm not into it. I'm deep into Magic the Gathering right now. Did you guys see the new final fantasy set just dropped and the price? I have a pre-order of a final fantasy party thing. It comes with a couple of boosters or something. And I get the gift bundle. I got one of those pre-orders. Yeah, I got,

I used a, an app that you sign into like Target, Best Buy, uh, Amazon. And when it comes in, you get a notification that you touch and it's like, you have one in your cart, you could buy it. Uh, and it was literally the only way you could do it. Cause everyone else uses bots, you know, and I to, to, to buy many of them. This, I understand this is like a hack of the system kind of, but it just buys one. It doesn't buy a bunch to resell

or anything like that. And I'm not a big magic guy, but I got that recently because that's a dangerous game. I, I bought one pack and then just got that. I ended up buying the secret lair ghostbusters and then cool. Yeah. and some land cards from Secret Lair. And I bought a bunch of packs. I don't even have a deck. They don't even work. They're not even like the same. What do you mean?

I don't want to make a deck, actually. Oh, well, then you're just buying the cards again, motherfucker. You were literally saying that I liked it. Harley, we played a few games on arena. You had a couple of decks there. Yeah, yeah, it's true. On arena, they give you a deck.

So you're good. And like I have a commander deck. Was that night in by any on the can you buy? And I put so much money into that fucking shit. I mean, it doesn't go anywhere, but there's probably I probably spent 500 on arena. And then what was the other tailor? What was the other 500 on arena this last then what was the other Taylor? What was the other West Side? I think I spent 500 on arena this last weekend,

trying to win a box of cards and I failed miserably. The original one, Kyle, was MTG online, but the one you, me and Chiz got into years ago was arena. And I knew, I was so excited that like two of my bros, you and Chiz were playing magic with me on arena. But then immediately Chiz is like, spent a lot of time and some money last night constructing a deck. And then Kyle's like son of a bitch. Okay. I, I got to spend a bunch of time and money now building a deck. And before you knew it, they kind of like were meta face.

Oh yeah. So it was just a meta deck versus another like you had the with the Winota deck where you could just get that one lady on the field. And then it was like almost a Gigi situation. Was that pre-nurf? They they nerfed one. Oh, this was a pre-nurse pre-nurse. What is here like, let's fucking talk about fish. What the fuck is this all about? This is not all this is just this is what I just I have to be clear.

Right now, my life is Magic Cards, because I'm about 30,000 invested in this Final Fantasy set, and it's going to financially make or break me. Currently, it's working out. Dude, I saw your post on Twitter where you... Yeah, you had all those boxes of Final Fantasy, and I was like, wait, he's really going in and then you said you spent a piece

One on pka I recognize it's a lot, but I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. This passes Woody's mustard. I was buying boxes from Mexico, from China, because you couldn't get this fucking shit. You got it for like a grand. I paid about $400 a box. They were going for $1200. What?

$1200. $1200. $1200. $1200. $1200. $1200. $1200. going for they were going for 1200. 400 a box you buy going for 20 put in a deposit box. And actually, this is not financial advice. I'm a stupid man. You could literally like bank on this more than Bitcoin going up in five years, bro, because they can't read. It's going up. So I'm huge. I'm huge into magic. Did you see what happened to the Lord of the Rings boxes

that are at 1800 a box right now? Yeah, I did. And I saw that and I said, how is there any way Final Fantasy doesn't reach the same fucking level? Like Final Fantasy is gonna be way bigger than Lord of the Rings. And I've also been,

I've been doing a little business. I'm selling on that whatnot platform if you guys have used that and it's fun. But now I don't wanna sell it because now the packs, I was like, this will be fun I'll sell the packs for like 60 bucks now a guy spends like $120 a pack. I'm like well now if you don't get something good I'm gonna feel like a piece of shit, and if you get something good. I'm gonna be like fuck that guy That should have been my card, so I can't win

Yeah, you know where can you weigh them and determine if it's gonna be a good one or not the way you can some other stuff Pokemon you can definitely do that. That's why you should never buy like loose Pokemon packs. Is that the foils like are so obviously able to find. Luckily with magic, there's like- Yeah, magic figured that out. Magic kind of figured it out. There's a lot of like different foils

and like some packs might have a ton of foils, but none of them are worth anything. So the weight doesn't really tell you what's going on most of the time. Magic will like intermix just a random foil land in there. Yeah yeah yeah and also this set has like a bunch of like double-sided foils which completely throw off the weights so like uh you know cards that like flip or whatever so yeah there's no way to like map this set. Thanks. Well, I hope it works out for you. It seems like you've sunk 30,000 in those cards.

I don't I think that's what I spent. Yeah, because I was just like, well, because I looked at it. I looked at it like a stock. I was like, it's going to go up. I was like, why just get as much as I can. I also put it. Hey, you don't have to explain to us, bro. We're not your wife.

I have your fucking money on these places. The cardboard people in my life are like, what the fuck? What are you crazy? You're investing in Final Fantasy. And I'm like, I just I got a feeling, man. I was literally at a dinner table with people that would would never begin to grasp the idea of spending $400 on a box of cards and being like, oh, it's going to mean something later.

And I was trying to explain this final fantasy thing and everyone at the table thought I was an idiot and was debating it until the waiter came by and heard a little bit. And he was like, Oh, are you talking about final fantasy magic? It's the biggest shit going down right now. It's fucking crazy. Everyone's trying to, and he was like talking about it so much. And it was the biggest validation somehow that the random waiter was so magic horny. Yeah. so much and it was the biggest validation somehow that the random waiter was so magic horny. Yeah. Everyone was like, okay. And I, you know, you had like these normie people,

they're like on Google, on eBay and they're like trying to get their hands on it. Now they don't even know what the fuck it is. I just think also like, I think magic is a little nice. Like Pokemon. The problem is nobody does play the game. Like they literally just go, I want the, cause like the cards that are worth money are like dog shit. They're not even playable. Where at least with Magic, you're like, this is a good game. You know, I'm buying a game pieces to play with.

You know, it feels a little more prestigious than just a, like, did you hear about the guy, you know, with baseball cards, everybody was trying to get the, there was some new rookie and Tops makes him wear some patch out to the plate so that After his first game they can rip the patch off and put it on a card And I go what's the fuck's the point of that like? The manufactured fucking thing you were once you knock his teeth out and put him on a fucking card that would probably be more Cut his hair off like what you just want a little piece of him from his first game?

Like why do you hockey card should do that? That would be sick to be like, wow, this is Mario Lemus incisor. I would absolutely want this mustache hair. I wonder if there was on his lip. If there's an NHL dentist out there who's been saving all the teeth for retirement, it's a smart man. Mm hmm. He's a smart man. Hmm. He's for sure really weird.

So like, do you have to, do you have to resell all of these like one to one? Or is there a site where you can just kind of post all of them and be like, all right, 1200 bucks a pop? Yeah. Yeah. I can put them on TCG players, like the big marketplace, but they're going to take like probably like an 8% cut again. Uh, I've been using this whatnot app, which is pretty cool. It's like, this is the future of commerce. Have you seen this shit?

The live auctions or whatever. Have you seen the Chinese lady who sells one item every minute to every second to Chinese people? Yes. Yes. Yes. This is a show. This is a show. This is a hat. This is a hat. Vito, if you need someone to do that voice on the one that. I think I might get in trouble. But dude, it literally, it's crazy. Like I'll go on there. And a lot of it is these guys who like clean out storage lockers and stuff.

So they just buy a storage locker. They start up a live stream and they go, okay, we bought this locker and they just auction it off, auction it off. I've been getting like crazy shit. And I'm feeling bad where I'm like, man, this guy should really paid for his unit. He had like all these sealed magic card boxes

and comic books in the slabs and shit. They're just like tossing it out. Crazy shit out there. But yeah, this is the future of commerce. It's like Twitch with throwing money at people. What's the game plan with your packs of cards? How many are you selling? Are you gonna keep any closed

and like lock away or something? Yeah, see I got a lock. Well, that's the thing is I almost don't wanna sell any now cause like it seems like they're just gonna keep, I kinda wanna wait for them to hit like a plateau and then be like, okay, this is where the price is kind of settled at. Right now prices are like bouncing around, but yeah, I've been selling a couple of like people

on my streams or whatever. Well, that's fun because best case scenario, it goes up and that's obviously good. But the worst case scenario is not that bad because then you get to open up magic cards. Exactly. If it goes to nothing, I go, whatever. I think at any point I'll break even. Yeah. Worst case scenario. That is a great like dopamine hit on magic cards. If it goes to nothing, I go, eh, whatever. I think at any point I'll break even, you know? Worst case scenario. That is a great dopamine hit on Magic cards, where you see that seventh card, you pull everything slowly away, and then you finally get to the... I think the seventh is always the rare.

It's just a nice little... I can see how people get addicted to it. They call it cardboard crack for a reason. Well, the big thing people are chasing is they made 77 golden chocobos Which I think is ridiculous and I have no interest but they're selling for like I think one sold for like 30 grand Like that makes no sense for him like I don't understand why chocobo of all things but that's the big I'm like, I don't understand why chocobo of all things, but that's the big I've always wondered why like a modern corporation or company doesn't do like a Charlie and the chocolate factory type thing with golden tickets Because I remember for example like Mountain Dew Pepsi used to do the under the lid

You would get a free Pepsi and it happened like I don't know eighth of the time enough that you know Another one and then I obviously McDonald's had that game that turned out to be bullshit. We don't need to rehash that old story. But like that game, I had good pieces like getting you out of small fry all the time. You'd always get a hash browns and always have a hash brown. They're so good. The reason they gave you the hash brown was because nobody would wake up for McDonald's breakfast.

They're like half of these. Yeah, that makes sense. Get yourself a refreshing medium soda. Oh, yeah. So you can peel two tabs off of it. I would do that. Yeah, that was so fun. And every single kid was always like, bro, I've already got Park Place like I'm halfway there. You know, did you ever run into the kids?

I swear there was always a kid like every year who went, yeah, I had boardwalk and I lost it. And I'm like, no, you fucking didn't. No, you didn't. I had this kid, he had like a whole story. He's like, yeah, I was at the ball game. We pulled boardwalk. We were going to be millionaires.

And then, you know, I guess I just lost it or something. Like if you had a million dollars in your pocket, you would not just hang out at the ball game. You'd go home and cash the fucking thing. You know that Tim Hortons, they have that roll up the rim to win. Thinking about that one. No, we don't really have importance here a little bit, though. We have America runs on Duncan Harley. But if you at the top of the cup, if you rolled it up, it would say if you're a winner or

not. And I personally firsthand know someone that won like a, it was maybe a Ford Taurus from that competition. Yeah. About 16 years ago, they rolled after that car base for Taurus. I bet you're not thinking this through. It was a 2009. What's the hope? Yeah. You're not thinking this through it was a 2009 It's like 2009 and

That's like like $35,000 Canadian dollars did 2009 you could have bought a house with that But I think I had a focus at the time so I can't throw stones But I think I had a focus at the time so I can't throw stones. Oh I still would that that Ford fuck us story Like I've literally like three times just been going about my day like doing dishes and like laughed out loud. I've been like Remembered it kills me chat in my livestream loved your mocking of it Buddy so funny. Oh man when I was a kid I won a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 3 from McDonald's Remember they had like Sonic toys one year and you could like send away or something and I was so excited

And my shitbag parents were like, yeah, but you already have Sonic 3 I'm like, yeah But this is the special one that I won that they sent to me. And they're like, no, you don't need that. And they made me take it to the store and like, I, you know, pretend that we bought it and get like store credit to buy something else or whatever. And I'm like, no, I want my Sonic 3 that I won.

Your parents are right. No, because because of me, because I would have kept it sealed because I was a weird kid, I would have been like, that's my sealed copy of Sonic 3. And now I sealed Sonic 3 is like five grand or something. You have something sealed as a child. That's crazy. Dude, dude, I have a copy of that. So joyless. I was a weird kid because like, I remember hearing all those stories about like

Collector Frenzy really started picking up when they started having all those like news articles about comic books being worth money and like beanie babies And all that shit. So I really did get it in my head I'm like I should hold on to some of this crap and see what happens Yeah I have like a sealed Pokemon game on the Gameboy that I won in a turn like a Pokemon tournament years ago And I just kept it for like 25 years. And, uh, yeah, now it's worth a fortune. The only thing that's like that, that I wish I'd bought more of and kept is, uh, those CRT TVs have gotten like trendy and expensive now.

And I used to blow those things up 25 times. I would go to the fucking mid-will and get every CRT they had and blow them up cause the tubes pop and like, I was like, damn, I wish I had like, cause I want to do the matrix wall, you know, that bank of CRT they had and blow them up because the tubes pop. And I was like, damn, I wish I had like because I want to do the Matrix wall, you know, that bank of CRT code. And I thought that would be nifty. And like I started looking at what they cost the other day. It's like, fuck, this is what real TV is. You can get the cheap CRTs for like 60, 80 bucks.

It's the it's the old crazy. I was buying for 15 or 20. Why would you want to game on a CRT? I don't want to hear so well. Taylor gaming on a CRT is beautiful. The pixels are correct. The pixels are exactly better than any modern TV. The guys who do speed runs and they have to hit those half frames and shit.

They use CRT TVs, but I want it for decorative purposes. Like, yeah, but I know, Taylor, I know I went through that where I was like, Taylor, I know I went through that where I was like, why would I want that? And through experience, I actually did end up getting my hands on a CRT TV. Cause I'm like, I don't want it all the time, but sometimes I want to go and fuck with it.

And especially where it really excels is older games that when you play them or like if it's, if it's, you know, Super Nintendo level graphics or a 2d style thing Your brain fills in so much of the image when it's a blurred CRT TV version of it instead of the perfect picture HD version So a lot of these games like a game portrait or in a game or a character in a game Might look so goofy on an HD TV, but on a CRT looks great. And then there's absolutely zero input lag

Yeah, it's supposed to make you a better gamer Not that I need that did I'm good Ever play you ever play like an arcade game you see how like good the picture looks on like a real arcade monitor maybe You ever play like an arcade game and you see how like good the picture looks on like a real arcade monitor? Maybe Many years ago not for a long time like your your average consumer CRT was dog shit But like if you get a top-of-the-line display So I actually had to drive out to like the middle of nowhere To find an old guy who used to edit on beta max for like local news stations

And he had two of these Sony PVM video monitors that I paid a hundred bucks each for. They now go for like twelve hundred and they have RGB input, which most American TVs didn't have. It was kind of in the UK and I think mostly in Japan. And games just look fucking incredible. Like those component cables. No, it's like this big chunky connector. Oh, OK. OK.

Connector. It's like this. Yeah. Only certain and I'm not familiar. Sony is from the era will have. You can also get it modded into like a lot of TVs. Some consoles don't even have like people will. You can pay guys like 100 bucks just to mod RGB support like into your dream cast into your Super Nintendo and the video quality that comes out. You're like, oh, that's what the guy was looking at on his computer when he was

designing it. And then I made it to your house and it was all blurry and shitty. And he's like, wow, I can't help you there. Uh, it's crazy, man. The quality is there. Yeah, no, I have, uh, I have one upstairs, but I can't change the input. It didn't come with a remote and I can't change the input and there's no It didn't come with a remote and I can't change the input and there's no The accessories is actually I've been I'm on the third. I bought three universal remotes Mm-hmm and returned two of them and I thought and I was like I'll get around to buying

another couple universal remotes and trying eventually but I just spent a day with like an old book and Looking for the remote code and trying to get the TV to just change to this input, to the source input. It actually has an HDMI input on this one also. So the way- I can't take any input. They come with a big code, they use those universal remotes, come with a big code book,

but there's also a mode that's like scan where you can just tap the button over and over. Yeah, I've done a bunch of these this guy Skank mods or whatever. He went on this mission to find the world's largest CRT It was oh, yeah that one You had to go to Asia to get it or he had it like had it shipped from it was like it was like a demo It was like in like a wasn't it like a restaurant or second floor of a restaurant. It's very, I like this, dude.

That's only made like two or three of them. It's like this giant fucking CRT TV is closing the world. It's just been like sitting in some Chinese restaurant in Japan for the last, like, 30, 40 years. So that's our big TV. After this, I'm going to get so stoned and watch Chinese reviews of big CRT TVs that have come out in the last couple of years. Watch this video. I like from it's on. Oh, OK. I got on.

I'm not even turning it off. It's just going to stay on over there. And I will imagine it goes on this mission to get this fucking TV. I think it was super expensive back in the day to. But how much did it weigh? Like, how did he? Yeah. Three, four hundred pounds. It's as deep as it is wide.

It has to be as deep as it is, like, big. So as big as the screen is, as big as the whole unit is. And my uncle had a 37 inch that when everyone was getting plasma and it was so fucking heavy, we were like three people, but it's too small still 37 inch, but three people for how heavy the box is and it's like a perfect square. It's so fucking heavy. It was hard to transport and put into like a wall unit.

But no, I would love that. We had to project. There was a guy near me who had one of those TVs and I really wanted it, but I was like, there's no feasible way for me to move. He's like, you got to come to the third floor of my fucking house to get it. I'm like, oh, he's giving it away for free, but I would break my leg is trying to get the fucking exercise involved.

Exactly. Maybe I could hire some Mexicans. I took them all away. Fuck. Vito, last time you want on the show, you were talking about your new comic book. Maybe Super Killers. How is it going? Super Killer is, man, I'm very excited to say,

I think we're gonna start printing next month. I'm putting the final touches on it. We had a little bit of some weird production hiccups. Wait a minute. So it hasn't come out yet? No, I failed. All right, Woody, it took too long. What year did you originally say it was coming out, Elon?

It was supposed to come out, not this Christmas, but last Christmas. It's a year and a half late. I knew this was gonna come up, and I feel shitty about it. But. I thought. There was going to be a success story. I knew this was gonna come up and I feel shitty about it. I thought there was going to be a success story. I know, I thought you were gonna get a big success and Evito you're really riding high on the hot.

I was ready to party tires. It turns out making comic books is way more complicated than I thought it would be. Specializing, criticizing other people's comic books. No, well yeah, like the story's great. I'll tell you that right now. I wrote a great story. I can criticize a story all day long. The problem is going in and fixing all these

fucking little production errors and little things that are out of whack. But luckily, it is basically done. I thought it was gonna be done last month, but... Tell me more. What kinds of challenges were there? Really stupid production things like the artist,'s a great guy but he drew all these pages and then I go to like print them and they go, hey, uh, you didn't make it all

the way to the bleed. You know the bleed, like you have the trim edge. Okay, comic books, you have the safe area where all the text has to go. Everything's got to go in there because otherwise it might cut off when they cut it. You know, because the printer's never gonna cut it exactly right. So you have to have a little bit of space inwards. And then you got the bleed edge where you want to put a little bit of extra art that's probably gonna get cut off by the printer.

You know, it's gonna get trimmed off, but at least you put it all the way there so in case it gets cut all the way to the right, you still see it. I'm not a comic book person, but I was picturing like six cells on a page as you kind of read it. It's not how it is. Yeah, yeah. Well, it is, but like he would have, he would have, you know, box, box, box, box, and then cool full art thing that extends all the way to the edge of the frame of the guy's cape going wild and flying the breeze, you know?

So you don't have to keep everything in the box is some of it can go outside the box and be crazy, but it wasn't making it all the way to the bleed edge. So you know, I had to go,, dude, we got to like fix this. You got to, you know, add some extra information to some of these images to get us there a little bigger, like zoom. Uh, yeah, there's some places where that was possible, like cut it out, you know, paste it, zoom it or whatever. But honestly, it was just easier for him to go in and like extend everything out.

And a lot of it has been... I feel like if you put a lot of this far, if you've already gone this far in the process of creating it, I feel like punching in on the image. You're like, we're not going to do that. We're going to do it properly. It's we're so far. Let's just do it the way. I'll 100% admit, a lot of it is me being like, I've never made a comic before and I really love this this world

I've created whatever else and like I just want to do it So that when it comes out and I'm like, you know Cuz I'm planning to go to the comic conventions and have a stack of comics there that I can sell to people I don't want to be thinking about man. I really hate that thing on page 5 or man I wish page 12 we had fixed that fucking thing. I just wanted to be somewhere I go like 100% I love this first issue. And again, it's a full length graph.

There is always, there's always a crazy place with that though, you know, you do get you got to make a couple of store. Yeah, I know. But I know the feeling of wanting something to be good. But I actually more often to my own detriment would probably release something and end up being annoyed about it.

So I do wish I could err on the side of like, being a perfectionist more, but I always feel like there's two types of artists, someone who's like, it's gotta be the best it's gonna be. And sometimes it never gets there for yourself. It's been a fight between, you gotta make compromises. And of course I'm making compromise cause there's stuff the artist goes, I fucking hate this. And I go, well, it's my comic book, draw it asshole. But the, you know, the other problem that you run into is

again, it's an indie comic book. I picked up a guy, you know, I can't pay him a full-time salary. So there were, there was some delays where he had an existing project he was working on where he said, ah, it's going to wrap up in like the next couple of months and then we can go full speed ahead. And then he kept being like, ah, that thing keeps getting pushed down. And basically he was kind of torn between a couple of projects.

It really added to a bunch of delays. But at the end of the day, what's lucky is everything I've learned now, we're actually like full speed ahead on the second one. We're already drawing that. So that's gonna be, I think, a way smoother process. Is it? I feel guilty asking.

I hope it's not a bad question. You can ask. How much do you have invested in this? It seems like a lot. Oh, yeah. Well, I we did a Kickstarter. We raised 100 grand. So I'm a piece of shit.

I took everybody's money and, you know, fucked around with it. I actually when this came up, when the conversation first came up, you are. He was like, where's where's the comic? And in my head, I was like, man, he'll release the comic when he does it. And then I googled it because I didn't know. Yeah, he is sitting on over $100,000. I was too busy making this. No, $70,000. The cards. There's the video for my backers. Look, here's the other problem is I'm a moron

and I said, not only are you gonna have the comic book, but you gotta have the limited edition super killer trading cards contained within are the every backer gets a foil version that you can insert. It's kind of like very expensive for film. At least you unwrapped your own card. Let me ask you this, the copies of your comic that came and you're like,

Ah, these are messed up. We want better than this. Did you still set those aside and like this is the limited edition like messed up version of the Super Killer. No, no, no. We haven't printed any copies of that yet. We haven't printed any copies of that yet. But I did make a bunch of tchotchkes and bullshit and I was like, and that's the other thing is people are like, well, you haven't done anything. I'm like, but I made a lunchbox and I made toys and I made all this other garbage. You can not get your lunchbox out before the comic. Well, the lunchbox is unfortunately already made, but I had to make the backers had to

get the super killer trading cards. They're fantastic. Look at these. Every backer gets a pack of trading cards. The first card you show us have a topless woman on it No, no, there's no show us Full screen. There's no topless. Lo is here. That's not the same guys Thank you. I'll go through all the cards. Look hey Yeah, you got our garbage pail kid man boy furry There's yellow do you know Yolo swag studios on Twitter hilarious guy I

Drew this little gasmo. Oh you drew that one that I did It's the our Casmo ray and that's our actual artist for the book Yeah, and randomly inserted will be the parallel dimensional foils numbered out by... That's the one with the boobs. Every, every art... yeah, there's the boobs on that one. Every artist gets their one of five card, and then the other four of five will be in the packs. Look, I'm an idiot. I'm obsessed with tchotchkes and garbage. But, yeah, the comic's looking good.

The other problem was that I'm doing two versions of the book. I want a black and white version and a color version, which is taking more time than I thought it would. Cause you can't just convert it down to black and white. Cause then it just looks like a muddy gray mess. You kind of have to. So they have to be separate, but equal. Yeah, well right now I'm tweaking the black and white version.

So like when you convert it down to black and white, everything's just fucking gray. It looks like a blob so I Have to go and be like okay this costume has to be lighter than her costume. So I'm just making stupid little adjustments But yes, it has taken too long and I apologize to my backers Well anyway, that wasn't the story. I thought I was gonna hear but I'm rooting for you. Good luck I'm a brilliant comic creator What does it tell you? You're racing the Tesla race. I'm a brilliant comic creator.

Now you're just a little ambitious. That's okay. I got a little ambitious and I did make the book too long. It's a lot of pages, but I have a question for Harley too. So when you pulled out of the fight, did you instantly start eating like a king? I definitely stopped doing cardio five days a week. And now I eat probably like one fun meal a day, fun snacks, but I try and hit my protein and I lift weights.

But I haven't been, I haven't been, you know, like I was thinking about it, dudes, I would have been boxing in two days. I was destined to fucking, I was thinking about it dudes I would have been boxing in two days I was destined to fucking I was fucking I would have been I would I would have been fucking Kyle just find a street fight just get all the aggression in there you were trending towards uh tinder I wouldn't have been like Kyle actually but I was on my way walking are you walking around thinking like better not fuck with me nobody better fuck with me are you hoping that like you're at Tim Warren's again you're walking around thinking like, better not fuck with me. Nobody better fuck with me. Are you hoping that like you're Tim Warren's again, you're getting your coffin.

You're like, I wish some motherfucker would. I there are times now where I'm like, oh yeah, for sure. I could be of anyone in here. Yeah. Be somewhere with 12 people. And I'm like, for sure. You know, like six foot seven, that's probably not a new confidence was there because I'm not like a like a like a fighting guy. Like like ever say, like a fighting guy, like like

Ever said, like back in the 90s I always thought that Like never fuck with an asian person. I'd seen so many movies, dude They all know that shit that you'll get kicked in the head. You can't do that. I literally nearby your phone believed it Yeah I literally nearby your phone, believed it. Yeah, I have literally believed it. Hmm. And but now now I'm like, I'll beat up every Asian in this place.

I think my dad has the same thought process about my dad got this argument at poker with this Asian guy and they sort of stood up like they were going to fight. And the Asian guy took his shoes off And I was like you ain't go kick me and like picked up a stick He's like he motherfucker what about to kick me It is it would be intimidating Martial arts myth was like really smart of Asian people to be like, don't fuck with us because like we have magic fucking fighting powers. And we all believed it.

And what we had to do was make like crazy noises with his mouth. And we're like, whoa, did you hear what he just went like? Whoa. Like he could do fucking anything now. We'd be like, well, it's really fast. I desperately wanted to see some Asian acrobat flip around in the, just to see how that went, right? I don't know, run on the sides or something. Yeah. Or like turn into a puff of smoke

and appear behind the guy and you're like, wow. Right? That's what you're saying. Did y'all also think that Asian women had like horizontal pussies for a while when you were a kid. I didn't fall for that one, but I fell hook line and sinker for the all Asians know karate when I was like in grade school. Everybody on my baseball team when we were like maybe eight, nine thought that Asian

women had horizontal pussies and when you spread their legs, it got tighter. You know what I mean, whenever the Chinese kid walked past my lunch table, I'd kind of cover up the top of my coke because I was worried he might pee pee in there. That was not heard before. Is that a stereotype? Me Chinese, me no joke.

Me make pee pee in your coke. Yes. Oh, yeah. No, no, I had a different one. We had a different one. A cautionary tale. Everyone knows that story. Um, it was, uh, it was, I don't want to start to say without really being very racist, but it was, uh, I'm Chinese. I'm not dumb.

I stuck my finger I'm not dumb. I stuck my finger in daddy's bum. We're much gayer over here in Canada, let me tell you that. See, cause that doesn't intimidate me. It's rhyming, it's fun. Yeah, it was like, oh, he's gay. Dude, I think he's Chinese, cover your coke and cover your ass. It was thumb and his pee pee, dude.

Trust me, they're pee pee and all the sodas. But you know, in the 90s, though, actually, a lot of my Asian friends, like they leaned into the myth of the thing. Like they didn't ever correct anyone. They were like, dude, I know one in my family instead. Yeah, literally, you're doing that. But like I had like Filipino friends and they were all like doing it. And I'm like, shit, he knows he knows fucking karate, dude.

Look, he's Chinese. You know, I don't know. I'm like dying. You know, the worst thing that happened to karate, though, was just like letting any like fourth grade white kid sign up for karate class. Like there needed to be trials and shit to keep it Mystic or whatever like it was just like yeah, I'm a yellow belt They gave me a yellow belt on like my third day, And I'm like, I missed a day. It's like I had I had fucking like and like I had to miss.

I had to miss day three or four for hockey practice. So I know I'm I should be in line with. They wanted you to get a little back, though. Of course, so I can break my body fell away when Sensei Randall was telling all the kids how to really deliver the justice. For me, the mystique of it fell away when after karate practice, it was in a strip mall next to like a custom confectionary store, and my mom would buy us little cakes afterward. These like little like on sale cakes they had that were like maybe like two inches by two inches and so that became more the driving factor where it was like hell yeah karate practice that means I got delicious little cake yeah I've said this before I was uh I was maybe like eight and I know I've said

this before but I I was so intimidated going into my first karate class and it's funny because I was a large eight-year-old and I like tried to like make my neck look stout. I remember that specifically walking in being like I need to look tough. I don't want to be targeted. I was thinking it was going to be like prison where they were going to notice me. What did you do? So like you popped your traps out when you walked in there like eight years old you were like what's up dudes guys on? I think I think I did what I imagined looked like that But it was probably just me like awkwardly like giving myself a triple chin What it was yeah, it turns out I was like a

King among those boys. They were all tiny and there were girls in the class as soon as they saw there were girls in the class I'm like this can't be that real Man when I when I played football, I played football for like 15 years and I was a linebacker and one year we had a girl come and join the team when we were like 11, it was the first there was one other girl like years before on another team and we all, we were just like like this is fucking crazy But it was just it was just hard to swallow When I was like 1997 and I'm 11 years old and I was just like oh there's a girl on the team and she played the same position as me and

No joke listen Bagger or a girl she was big and strong and okay. And by far not the best on the team at all. And I won MVP defense that year. And so did she. And like, I got worked. I, well, it just, you know what? Get married. What is this? I got it. I got destroyed. It was like, like me getting MVP defense was like, I got it. I got destroyed. It was like like me getting a V.P.

defense was like I got the I got the girls award. Me and the girl won. And it was just like it just for me. Like like I had to. And now I look back on that. I'm like, oh, to every adult, they were like, like, shut up. It's a stick. A stupid trophy. We gave one to she.

She played with you idiots. And it's pretty cool. She did. She went the whole time. Lots of kids quit football is like seven, eight, nine, 10, 11 years old. She was there the whole time. It's cold in Canada. She's at every practice. She did. Yeah, it's fucking cool. But when I'm a kid and I'm 11 and I went to trophy and the girl wins the trophy too, I was like,

humiliated up there. I'm up there holding a trophy next to her and I'm like, I'm literally, I'm, I'm a, I'm a gay woman now. I did a hockey camp, like a goalie camp when I was probably 12 over the summer in between seasons and there was a girl who played in like a girls league because there wasn't any intermixing in hockey ice hockey at least and i just remember like when i would line up to have to do a drill after her in my head it was like you cannot let in more than she did you cannot because all your other goalie buddies are gonna mock you ruthlessly and she didn't suck she wasn't bad

uh and so that was annoying where she has no pressure and you have all the pressure that's, that's actually hard. That's hard pressure. I want to say there was a female goalie or two drafted in the NHL. None of them made the team, but they got drafted to Taylor. Do you know about this? Uh, I don't, I don't know if they ever got legit drafted. I know in the nineties or maybe it was early 2000s the Tampa Bay Lightning did an exhibition game and they let a girl play

Who was like I guess pro and whatever professional women's hockey league there was in the 90s I don't know if she did well or not. But even then like if you're a hard-hitting like If you're a hard-hitting Defenseman about to send in a slap shot and you know, it's a girl You probably do pull it a little bit Like you probably are like I don't want to if I hit this girl in that god forbid I hit this girl in the neck and she goes down. I'm the worst person of all time No one's gonna take my side Yeah, that must be what I'm thinking of. Cause it was Tampa Bay.

I had girls in any of our French lady and baseball. My dad would always pick the black kids and nobody else would pick them because they didn't have rides to practice. And then he would drive around and pick them all up for the games. Oh dude. So he was literally doing what literally doing what the bad news bears guy did. He has to stop and all like the poor income housing to get like the white trash kid who can bet really well. That's what we did. Like they would draft for Little League and people knew that

if you pick the black kid, he wouldn't have a way there. Like they just wouldn't. None of them had dads. And, and my dad would be like, I got you little man, where do you live? And we drive, drive we do we drive all around town pick up four of these guys and me and Octavius and San Tavius and Vanta Tavius we hit the field did he pick him up in the custom vans he made No, that was I choose to believe they're in like beds Watching television and so. When I put my phone, we had watching television in the custom bed. Pick up like a work crew.

You're in the AC cab. Look, he was he bought these by those kids, gloves and shit. Those kids didn't have anybody. But we want a lot of games. This reminds me of when I was playing football, there was like four or five, there was more

than four or five black kids, but there's four or five black kids that were fucking good. And like every year people threw in and the park threw in because football is not a cheap sport. You don't buy the equipment, but you do rent it. You know, it's not cheap and people would throw in so that these four kids could play. And I just remember my mom and I like we drove one home once and I was going to his house. And when my mom dropped us off, I was like in a sick neighborhood, sick ass house, I like came home the next day. I was like, yo, Eddie has a big screen TV. Yeah. He's a PlayStation.

And my mom and dad were like, what the fuck? Like, well, yeah, there's like he had money. Just everyone was like, oh, let's we got to pay for the poor bracket. Like, obvious parents were like, yeah, of course, let them pay if they want to pay. You are the best on the team. But like, yeah, they course, let them pay if they want to pay. You are the best on the team. But like, yeah, they just thought they were doing someone a favor but really use. Yeah. The big expectations can be a can be a benefit.

I was about to say my God. And like how little pride does that family have? It's like, yeah, pay for little Marcus's shit. I don't care. I don't even if I had a black kid I'd be like listen you're dirt poor and take everything they give you all these white people are gonna feel bad and organize my cards take organized if I had a veto if you had a black kid would you do the trend and like give him

like an ancient Roman Emperor name like octavian or something. That's a good That's a good way to go. Yeah, if I had a black kid, I'd be like I'd be like and those are cool ass Every day Let daddy curl your hair on the sides of your ears I had a black Cheating whore. No, this is like one of those. All right, let's blow off some steam, Octavius. Let's get you. Let's sign you up for football. Honestly, here's what I never understood is like, you know how they keep saying the college admissions? It's like if you know how they they keep saying the college admissions

It's like if you have a they're letting people in based on certain traits or whatever And I'm like how Chinese families not just started naming their kids like DeMarcus Johnson Like cuz you send in the college application. They don't fucking you know, you know, you can check whatever box you want Yeah, yeah my kid DeMarcus, is here to apply for college. Then you got a fucking leg up. Can I tell you something about the Marcus Chang? Yeah, literally do anything he wants to do. If he wants to be an incredible piano,

Excel and athletics, be an engineer, whatever the Marcus Chang wants to be. He will fucking kill it. And there's no stopping him. But Asians are two races. Wait, go ahead. I was saying Asians are two racist with it because they wouldn't just go to Marcus. They'd be like, why, you know, allow my son Lil Wayne into your college.

My son Kanye too is a most powerful scholar. He's the most powerful linebacker. And he good at math. Ablation concert pianist. Now, what do you get his piano skills? Would it be like concert piano or would it be like Ray Charles piano? I bet he could do both. He could do both. He goes back and forth. Anything he wants.

He's freestyle on the baby grand in front of a concert. He's a triple threat because I bet he can dance too. They call him electric guitar in the middle and he'll start rapping while playing guitar. I'm thinking about an Asian black guy. You know where his weakness would be? Swimming. Yeah. Oh, wow. Asian black guy, you know where his weakness would be? Swimming. Yeah. Ooh. That's something the whites seem to be solid at. Really good swimmers. I don't know why that is.

They all have pools. I guess it's expensive. It's the same reason they sell it on hockey. Yeah, that's fair. Or they're all from somewhere where it's like, yeah, we were poor, but we lived in Calgary. And so we had free ice nine months a year and just did it. Black people don't even have good hot tub etiquette, much less pools.

I saw a picture of little Wayne today in a hot tub with socks on, like unironically, just I've seen people do worse than hot tubs than that. That's so rude. White, white or black. Take the, wear a swimsuit. I've seen that video of that, that white girl. It's a classic video. They're there and it's this old video and she's like, it's a couple of hot chicks in a hot tub and the camera's going and she's like,

how long is this scene going to be? And the guy's like, what's just a couple of minutes and then she's like, ah, and then you just see diarrhea brown shit appear all over the hot tub. Oh, I remember that yeah crazy video That's all it's awful. Yeah Make a decision old banger in a hot tub Are all the germs and viruses killed or do they multiply faster? Like I don't think it reaches the temperature to kill them. It does, no, it gets like 104. It can't be good for them,

but I don't think it kills them. It probably like helps them multiply faster, because you know you can get folliculitis in a hot tub. Have you ever heard of that? People call it hot tub rat. It's a bacterial infection you get under your arms from like, you know how you sit in a hot tub with your arms on the edge, like you get it right in your armpits. I got it one time a long time ago. You have to keep those things chlorinated well, or they become nasty bacteria. Yeah. Protein bath.

Yes. This loves a hot tub. Makes piss stronger, makes piss more piss in a hot tub. I don't know what that means. I've heard that. The water. It was already hot. I don't know what that means. I've heard that the water It was already hot Alex thin and loose looser

You're vaporizing the piss I get it like imagine a cloud that's evaporated piss like if you put piss in a fog machine I feel like you die from that it's made of urea doesn't like Venus have a bunch of clouds like that or some shit like one of those maybe it's urine as something with methane yeah I thought there was something no I don't think there's a giant Taylor. I've never heard of that More race talk Well, I don't know they say there's giant Clouds of diamonds there has to be a piss plan. That's different from piss, man. Piss doesn't naturally form in the Earth's crust. It's piss. There's gotta be planets whose crust literally are still there.

Did you just compare piss to... Well, if there's fucking diamond planets, there could be piss planets, too. There has to be. Well, I guess fact check true there. There are no piss planets. Doesn't piss just become urea? Like it's... If you boil it down, it becomes like a taffy. Isn't doesn't piss just become urea

Good you boil it down it becomes like a taffy Believe that but that's a terrible thought Has the consistency of like cake frosting like like a really thick you find videos of it on YouTube people boil it down They used to use it for medicinal purposes, you know, you boil that piss down and you just smear it on a god And piss old country, bro, they're coming back for something I saw a Twitter ad the other I saw a Twitter ad the other day of some Indian lady and what looked like a normal kitchen being like Come with me and learn the many Dermatological benefits of cow piss and it was like dad. Are you fucking serious?

Like don't don't do this. Why are you did one of did a Pakistani guy fund this? I wouldn't do it, but how sure are would you make this wrong? I wouldn't do it, but how sure are we that she's wrong? I don't care what it does. I don't want to agree for sure, for sure, but it doesn't, but it might still have, she might be, it might be valid. It might be good. I don't know. I haven't looked into it. I doubt it actually. And it wouldn't change. I doubt it. I would believe it because we talked to Brandon Buckingham a couple years ago where he was like I'm going to the India cow poop

festival where it's like and that's a real thing there's a bunch of some youtubers got it hard right they just that's they that's how he found success is he made it hard for himself. He does yeah all his like he has to make so many videos that are like going to East St. Louis and You know Interviewing the most dangerous people in America. It's like alright, you know I'm going to also is an incredibly likeable charismatic guy and so it doesn't seem like he ever has problems Everyone I'm gonna worry guys seem to like um What was that I missed it I'm going to a festival with him in Canada. You guys should come.

Oh, Sickwich Festival. It's called Shambhala. I don't know what that is. What is it? It's just like it's like a music thing. It's on a farm in BC. Be cool. If you swear like you, Taylor, you. No, no, it's really awesome and cool. And I was, I was thinking about going. Remember, I showed you guys that really fucked up picture of me where I looked like a terrible super fucked up. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a hilarious picture. Yeah, that was a hilarious picture. Yeah, that was a hilarious picture. Yeah. I mean, I was thinking about going to the that really fucked up picture of me where I looked like a terrible you know super fucked up yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah that was a hilarious picture yeah that that's that's where I was obviously having a very peaceful time um but I was thinking about going but then he hit me up and he was like

are you going this year and I was like I don't know I was thinking about he's like I think I want to go and I was like okay I'm in hypothetically when you're at a music festival like that what's the do you want to be on like ecstasy or you'll like a little LSD like what's getting the vibe right? Coke just coke Liquid cocaine in my eyes Asians away from your coke Well, you know what Harley I haven't done coke as many years, but maybe this time I'll really like it. Hey, yeah, man. Harley, what would hypothetically be the vibe? The choice, the weapon of choice. Yeah. Well, I mean, I like to think of myself as like a

variety participator. So-hmm. So. You get crossfaded. What I like right off the bat, like so in Canada, a lot of these experiences, the foundation isn't alcohol based. But in the US, when you go to these festivals or experiences like that, or even raves, the bar is a big deal.

People drink a lot. In Canada, the drugs are a big deal people drink a lot in Canada the drugs are a bit more lenient so there's you candy flipping what is that what is that again? Candy flipping is MDMA and LSD mixed together I had a we had a friend of the show who was candy flipping while also taking some other stuff and he killed himself. I missed it. Walked into traffic. Yeah. Went, went, went absolutely loony. But before that blast. Yeah. I see I'm trying to be on that.

I want to be on that level. Do that last part. Yeah, me too. Exactly. You want to get right to the cusp to the cusp of pulling over and walking into traffic, but, but not all the way there. Like I think you got to be so responsible with this stuff. So like I always get in a weird place when I talk about it because I think like I am like like when the Matthew Perry thing happened with ketamine. Yeah. People were like, dude, ketamine man, like watch out. And I'm always like, if you ever think that I would do any drug let

alone that one in a warm bath by myself crazy because I could imagine and and like this is so crazy is I could imagine he was fully aware of everything as it was happening and was probably acknowledging like wow this really isn't even that bad of a movie. Now I'm definitely not moving. I'm definitely not going to move at all. So this is it. Like that's it. You know what I mean? There's no, cause as a person you would have had that gut reaction to like jump out of it or snap out of it, you know, getting slapped in the face. You know, I, uh, but a warm bath, he probably like just fucking like you

can't, you can't do drugs like that alone. You can't, that's what I was about to say. You need like some people who are like most sober outside the hot tub chilling, like checking on you and stuff like, but I bet that the combination of the ketamine and the hot tub is like heaven. I bet that does feel really good. Yeah. But I'm like, bro, you're 95% there with a heated, with a weighted blanket and a scented candle. You gotta go hot tub. Right.

Come on. You're right though, you're right. You should be in a place where like, if you can't stop and enjoy a weighted blanket and a scented candle, then like, you know what I mean? You're chasing like, I spend, I spend way more time sober, less smoking than I do ever partying or consuming drugs. You know, I'll set aside

a time and go do that. But I like to be actually aware of something like what you say, like if you can't enjoy a weighted blanket and a scented candle, don't go looking to enjoy yourself getting fucking blasted and, you know, being in the hot tub. It's like I feel like there's a perfect balance to it. Having said that, I like to blast ketamine consistently when I'm at these things, but you have to build it very

slowly a buzz because you do you technically you want to build it very slowly, a buzz, because you do, you technically, you wanna be in a K-hole, you wanna get there, but you can't jump right in, you gotta slowly get into it so that when you are in the K-hole space, you could exist there. That's where you wanted, Nick, you got there so slowly that it never hit you and made you wanna sleep, so you are in that crazy. Like

have you ever stayed up very, very, very late, you're overtired and now maybe you're having really funny thoughts or something is very funny. You're having a blast laughing because you're overtired. You got to get the fucking bed. You get to that place and exist there. And you kind of feel like you're sober drunk. Uh, like you're drunk and not blackout. You remember everything. As long as you go slowly, it could take for, for, for like, the way I see it is you take someone like over an hour, two hours to get high appropriately on that by going very small amounts.

So our experience is pretty different than what I did. It was, of course it was prescribed, but I had these like dissolvable tablets that you put in your mouth. You'd hold them there for seven minutes and then you'd spit it out. And for me, the full effect stuff, 30 minutes later, it was starting to die down. If it's 50 minutes, for example, I say it lasts an hour.

If it's 45, 50 minutes, I needed to like make a decision, it'd be like you're a little drunk. Are you the best you absolutely not but you can almost push it aside. You sound like you were high for hours. Yeah, well, because you you would consistently do it. Oh, you're re upping. Yeah, you do it like I would do a very small amount probably what it is that you take. Maybe I'm assuming maybe cut it in half and imagine that like every 30 or 40 minutes and then think about like three hours later what it would be like, you know

what I mean? Something like that. You get nauseous. If you do too much, you can get the spins like when you're too drunk and the room is that's the worst. That's what a lot of people they'll think it's like cocaine. So they'll do a cocaine line. And then now you're going to feel like you're drunk sick. I don't like any drug that can possibly make me sick to my stomach. That's why LSD is so fucking cool. Zero nausea, just getting fucking high. I used to prefer mushrooms, but yeah, no, I do like LSD better because it doesn't, it has a less nausea factor.

But also mushrooms is crazy. Mushrooms could make me feel weird in front of like my best friend of 20 years. And I'm already a guy that's like a shameless dude and I don't care about why would I feel weird in front of like one of my best friends, but mushrooms is weird. Like I've been blasted on like so many things Then someone's like, yo, let's take mushrooms.

I'm like, what are you crazy? I could take that and hate you. I might just not like you anymore. Which two weeks to tell like right now. Yeah. Yeah. Mushrooms is like, it could, it's just a very weird. It's a weird one. I'm sorry. And that's not my vibe at all. No, if we were both on mushrooms together, you'd be hating me and I'd be lifelong friends. I feel so warmly towards you. We like, but I took seven grams. You took one fair. Okay. Um, Oh, I was just going to slip in my ketamine came with an anti nausea drug like with it. So they mixed into it.

No separate you took it before. Interesting. So it's like you kind of do ketamine like how I how I do VR take like an anti nausea drug for an hour in another world. I think it was really regimented. I think I took it like exactly and I was scared of the nausea. I didn't, like I was nervous about it.

So I was really regimented about taking it. And then almost exactly 60 minutes later I'd start the ketamine. Yeah, yeah. Like not with the air. Sorry. There's drugs like drugs like like like that. I always joke about I always make jokes about cocaine, but really like not a not a good

drug. Not a good not a good one. I've never done cocaine. I've read though that like there's more being made and consumed in America anyway than ever before. It's record popular. That's crazy. And that's crazy.

It's like, yeah, no, but that's why it's a really crazy drug. I don't have an addictive personality. I don't think, you know, maybe I smoke too much. But when I leave to the USA, I'm not like, Oh my God, I gotta get I gotta get hash. I need to smoke or I'm gonna lose my shit. Like, I just like, don't do it. I went to Florida for a couple months. I don't smoke. I'm just there. I don't try and go and get drugs or anything like that. But there's something about cocaine that I feel it's probably exactly like, like if it's in the house, it's how probably veto is going to feel with these final fantasy boxes always calling Tim being

like, open me. What do you think pays for my open and see what I'm on? And I say having it around is a house. Yeah, I don't like having that in Come on. Are you saying having it around is a... Yeah, yeah, in the house. I don't like having that in the house. It's not a drug that sits in my house or anything, because it would call to you. It's so weird. I have the opposite problem with drugs,

because I keep going like, well, I don't want to take them now. I should save them for something cool. And then I realize nothing cool ever happens in my life. So I just sit there. I do end up with drugs like that,. So I'm like, I should probably throw out these gummy beers. I don't know what drug they are anymore. Too long. I have to get rid of them. Test them just, Oh, at that place that, that I went to Shamballa.

They have, I wasn't at all talking about consuming them. They have this, they're really big on like harm reduction and you can bring any drug to HR there and they have like these advanced medical grade spectrometers and they'll tell you exactly what is in the drug. Um, and I remember I went and I had, um, brought like a pill that, you know, this, this guy that I know from Montreal had brought and when I brought it we're like oh let's go see what the the the Molly's like let's see how it is and so we brought it and it was really interesting because the guy took

the pill and he was like oh he was like cool he was like this pill by the way is interesting because I'm going to try and open it now, but there's no way to open this without destroying it. And that's valuable because with capsules, something like this, which is a custom capsule, I could look at it. And I think I know what drug it is. He's like, that's your dealer. And if someone tried to open it and put their shit inside, they would be destroying his custom capsule. You can't put it back together. He's like, so that's pretty cool.

And then he put it into the spectrometer and he was like, this is almost 100% potent. Molly's like, this is by far the strongest Molly we have here. And he was like, I can give it back to you. It's it's about 90, 90 milligrams. I can give it back to you in three capsules of 30 milligrams, or I can put it in a powder and I can give you like this glass too. capsules of 30 milligrams or I can put it in a powder and I can give you like this glass too, but that's, that's going to be really scratchy on your nose. You can also consume it with liquid. We can give it to you guys and if you know, and like they literally this is how they go.

It's really crazy. Dude, isn't nine. I mean, I've only done Molly a handful of times, but 90 milligrams is a incredibly long dose. That's like, that can get's usually like a, like a teeth you're getting at a time. Right? Yeah. This can get like nine people fucked up. Technically. So wait, I don't understand the term team. Like I think, I believe I took, I thought I knew all my numbers, three, three similarly sized shards before,

before a pretty lights concert in like 2011 at Mizzou. And each one was supposed to be 10 milligrams ish. And so I took like 30 milligrams. Yeah. 30. Yeah. 30. Yeah. What I would say any of you guys should put if you were to, you shouldn't do it though. A teeth. And that was a lot of an ounce. Oh, okay. Okay. And so they were, oh, that's why I didn't know what it was. Oh yeah. You're on that metric. Well, no, no, we, we do. We do use like it with drugs to use. Um, no, I, yeah,

I guess he is grams, but we sleep. We use ounce. Yeah. Wait, no. Ounce is no, that's a we use ounce Yeah, wait now ounce is No, that's why do you why do we do that? Why do they why do they do that use Graham you're a godless country No, but you guys do that too. Don't you guys do grams also? Yeah 28 grams and an ounce we inherited only for evil king Harley I had a question only for drugs and chemistry popped in my head before you. You invited us to this music festival.

Yeah. What would I wear? Most of my wardrobe is appropriate for mowing the lawn. I feel like at a music festival, I would stick out. Well, no, because you're actually in a music festival in Canada. So if you wore what I mean, everyone looks like they're mowing the lawn in Canada. I was playing flannel. festival in Canada so if you wore what I'm assuming that you are like like whatever you wear camping is probably good quality camping stuff okay that's actually called GORP cord now like if you wear like a lot of functional terrain clothing, north face, Arcterix. Got your marrows on.

This is like Gord core. This is like a trendy teenage Asian girl will wear probably like what you wear camping as street wear. So it's kind of take it. So you could wear that shit and get away with it. And I was just going to wear whatever. But when I got there, my buddy was like, yo, I got this fur coat for you in this hat. And I was like, I'm not doing this fucking shit. And he was like, no, trust me, trust me. And he's like, he's like, you put it on. And then so I like put it on. And then he showed up and he was wearing like pink leather shorts and a pink little boy.

He looked like a little Swedish boy in a pink little mini shorts suit thing. And it looked so fucking dumb. And when we got down there, we like, we get to the whole area where people are partying and everyone's dressed like a complete fucking moron. I was like, Oh, thank you. I'm happy. I'm wearing my mass effect t-shirt. But yeah, no, yeah. So if you came, uh am dressing you up. Basically. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. I want to be. I want to smoke DMT. That's what I want. I want to see those fucking machine elves. They have menus there. People will come by with like a menu with like DMT

on it or like, and the book, what do you, do you want any of this? And you could be like, Oh yeah, I'll take this at this that and then they come back like 10 minutes later with your order. Harley are DMT LSD and mushrooms all about the same. I don't have a good enough experience with DMT. Actually, I can't, I can't comment. I don't know. No, well we watched the DMT is breaking through to the other fucking side.

Like, like, like mushrooms in high high doses do some LSD stuff. The LSD at high doses, you are seeing visual hallucinations. Things are melting in front of you and moving that aren't moving and colors are incredibly vivid. But DMT, you're going unconscious to another realm and time and you are seeing all sorts of crazy shit. Your entire reality is gone. You go to another place and talk to people.

Remember that guy that did it in our hangout and he's flying through golden waterfalls and drooling on himself? That's my mushrooms. Ketamine will get you there. Well, it's an animal tranquilizer. So I would hope so. I had this. I had this insane because there's two types. There's like an R and an S and one is more in your brain and one is more body that'll

make you want to dance or something. And I always know with ketamine, the two different types. And I remember being so blasted once, like really, really blasted. And I saw a buddy of mine that I hadn't seen in a while and he was so blasted. And I was like, yo, what up? And like, I slapped hands like that, like a handshake. And then like just instinctually, we both slapped the other hands. So now our hands were like together and then we like put them together. So it was all four of our hands, like a pile of our hands. And he's like a weird guy. And now I was really seeing how weird he is. And I was like, this is a particularly weird moment for me. And I, I really truly believed like, I'm like,

oh shit. And I was like, this, none of this is real. Oh my God, this, I actually think I found a portal out of the simulation. And I'm not a guy who's like, we live in a simulation. I never thought that but I was like, Holy shit, it's actually true. I think we are. And I'm like, Oh my god, I actually have access out right now. And our hands are here to this. And I'm having these thoughts. And he's looking at me so weird. He's like, Are you he looks scared. He was like, he was also blasted. He's like, are you feeling this right now?

It accelerated it dude. My hands are here. I felt though my hands like under my ears Like about to pull off a mask something like I was i'm like i'm literally about to leave right now I'm out of the program And then I was doing it and I feel my fingers like pushing it up. And then I was like, wait, stop. I don't know if I'm ready for what's there. I don't know if I don't know if I wanna leave this place. I'm like, that steak looked fucking great in that restaurant.

And I have access to restaurants with steak. I should not, I don't need a fuck Zion bro. You don't need that. I'm not I don't need a fuck fuck Zion bro. You don't need to know when it but no I really felt my fingers like under like about to pull a helmet off. I was like and he was there. He was like do you feel this and I was like it was sick and then someone put on a song and we were like oh we like this song. Yeah, it's very fun. I've watched a lot of videos about people going through and

seeing the machine elves and all these theories about what they are. Whether they're like you're experiencing what death is like those are like souls that are dead or if they're actual yeah or if they're uh because you everyone a lot of people report this that they see these elves when they they use it and the elves are like super helpful they're trying to guide you through your like fucked upness they're reassuring they're not scary and uh it's often reported by like all around the world by different people about about DMT. I've never even seen it. You've never really won the elves. No, I've never spoken to the elves, but I want to. I want to. I got questions. I talk to those fucking guys. They're chill. They're pretty cool. I'm playing commander with them. Yeah, playing a whole game.

Now some of them are there playing like some degenerate blue decks, but they're cool guys. I like to imagine that this other universe parallel universe advanced society machine elves and in everyone's house machine elf house they have a little DMT ball that is a portal

window to our society. And whenever someone takes DMT, it pops up on their little ball. And they're like, Oh, look, someone's there. Yeah, there's someone doing DMT. And they come over and they're like, Hey, you're going to be okay, but you're good. Did you do it? Great. You have an awesome stick with it. The machine elves love you and you're like You barf do barf yourself ever with that How close is the empty ayahuasca? So the guy so ayahuasca makes you like violently ill before it kicks in Seemingly or as it's kicking in because you're drinking all that jungle juice

It's a big fucking glasses a goblet or whatever clay pot that you're drinking out of. But we had a guy in our our Patreon hangout link down below if you want to join who was who was doing DMT while we watched he's smoking it. And he took like a cup I was hyping him up and like, come on, dude, break on through to the other side. And he like took a couple big hits. And, and I was like trying to guide his like vision quest for him. And I'm like, there's a waterfall right in front of your standing ankle, deep and warm, pure, clear water. And as you walk forward and look up, the waterfalls flowing over your face,

and it's not water anymore. It's gold, gold. And as you spread your arms, you fly up through the waterfall. Do you see it? And he's like, Oh my God, Oh my God, it's beautiful. Really well. I was there. And then dirty, dirty joins the call and he goes, you're on fire. Yeah. Dirty literally joined. It was like nightmare nightmare. It was like, you're really harsh in this. But then he then he threw up on himself. Then he like spit up on himself the way a baby will. They're like, yeah, it was like a baby style spit up because like an adult will like retch

and throw their head forward and back as they're vomiting. But a baby just kind of burbles. Baby just like burps it up and just like I didn't even know what happened is he did it and throw their head forward and back as they're vomiting. But a baby just kind of burbles out of there. A baby just burps it up and just kinda doesn't even know what's happening. I think what happened is he did it twice. And he felt like he was doing it twice that made him throw up.

Mm-hmm, he was fine the first time. He didn't throw up the first time he hit it. Yeah, yeah. That was pretty cool though, it looked fun. It still didn't look like he did enough to me. Because what I would wanna do is leave. I don't wanna be able to, I don't't want you all to be part of this anymore. I want to go over to that other side or whatever that is.

I've also I think there's two different kinds of DMT. I thought that's what you were referencing earlier when you talked about two different kinds of ketamine. I don't remember that it's fucking long chemical names. I don't know the difference. But one of them, I think, comes from the toad venom that those people smoke out of like glass bowls. And I watched that documentary

where Homie smoked that toad venom and he's rolling around in like a shallow creek saying, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. And it's like, I don't want that. I don't want that. It's funny because you can get to a place where you get so far and I've been there before and I'd be like, really like thinking.

And I'm just, I'm genuinely having thoughts that I can remember and that are just on a, I have this perspective that I'm like, I must really remember this perspective because this is actually a beautiful way to see life. And I really like, I finally understand the universal landscape and how into words and humanity fit into this and then my buddy will be like yo yo and I'm like yeah and he's like let's go and there's stairs in front of me and I'm like uh uh uh uh uh like trying to walk up one there like I'm a 92 year old man but before talks to me, I'm like I'm on the fucking level I'm surfing the universal landscape and I understand everything you are No, I'm like you're not even on my level like I could see it

I wish you could all see it and then I can't walk up one step Like so it's a sense of like yeah, it's like but but also you could like you could like, you know dance and stuff It's just something like a step stepping down Will fuck you up my friend. Oh, I'm sorry No, go my friend did ayahuasca and he travels around the world a lot and he finds himself in South America And he also likes to partake in all the illegal things. So he decides to do ayahuasca. And it had a semi lasting effect for like weeks or months in the way that he viewed the world. He just felt like all the trees

and the birds are interconnected. He felt like they were communicating to each other via the root systems and sense and stuff like that. And that when he was in ayahuasca, when he was doing ayahuasca in the woods, he was part of that system, that he had plugged into all the trees and mushrooms and moss and things like that.

He came back home, immediately lists his dirt bikes for sale. And I like to ride dirt bikes with him. So this is a problem for me. And I'm like, and he's telling us how the noise pollution is disturbing the squirrels. And I'm like, bro, the trails are very limited and the squirrels can go anywhere they want.

If they choose to be by where the trail system is, then that's something they enjoy. They can always just go where the dirt bikes aren't. And he's like, all right, all right, this making some sense. Okay. I did talk him down. Wow. From selling his dirt bike.

He had a spiritual awakening and you talked him out of it? Yeah, yeah. Fuck man. That's awesome. He's like, dude, I'm like connected to the world and every living creature, you're like, dude, we gotta ride dirt bikes, knock it off.

Woody's right though, Woody's right. Oh, okay, thanks Woody. He's like, Woody, I had such a crazy awakening. And you're like, that's awesome, man. I'm so happy for Woody. He's like, Woody, I had such a crazy awakening and you're like, that's awesome, man. I'm so happy for you. He's like, I think I'm gonna quit this hobby and you're like, well, let's not be rash. Yeah, come on man.

Let's not be crazy. Let's undiscover the great awakening here. Good work, Woody. You really brought him back down to the crippling shit reality we live in. He's like, I'm like elevated, I've like found the spirit of shit. There's nothing but dirt bikes for us here. There's nothing else.

All right. Fine. He's really good. He probably got back on his dirt bike was like, yeah, this is awesome. Fuck that. This is pretty good. Not bad. Oh, yeah. He was probably like 40 seconds into that first ride and he's like, nature's so gay. I'm back. I'm back in the world of machines and gasoline. And back in the world of diesel and advanced electronics.

Yeah, that's awesome. Oh, man. You're a really shitty friend, Woody. That's my bro. My buddy woke up from the grind that we're all trapped in and I brought him right back in. It is a very, very serious concern though. Like I've, I've seen a buddy who was pretty funny funny take drugs and then be very serious about being a R&B singer and that's yeah that's nothing about him ever that how is how is that not the funniest thing

if only if only and it took me a while to really be like, he's not joking. If you imagine if I went to the desert and did ayahuasca and I came back and like tried to be usher, that's the funniest. That's the funniest possible thing. The funniest possible thing would be in then you, you are as good and you are. I think you should try it, man. Yeah. You like paying Woody and Kyle. You're like, yeah, take all the videos down. Here's a couple of bucks, guys. Take all that shit down.

I can't have that out there. Yeah. I got to go grab my crotch Usher at MSG right now. And P did. Yeah. I've never dabbled with those intense hallucinogens. I did a small amount of mushrooms in college once with my weirdo roommate and it never advanced past the point of like, I didn't know how much I was taking.

I didn't know anything. It's a lot though. Like my scary drug. Well, I, that's what I'm saying is like, I didn't take the amount required to go on a crazy trip. Like it was really just season one of it's always sunny breathing at me. I stayed in my dorm room the whole time. He just offered it.

He offered it to me like at night on like a, probably like a Tuesday. That's when I took it. Yeah. Things that like- Can't relate to about Harley's experience. I'm sorry, Kyle. Like I like a really safe environment

and Harley likes to go out in public in strange places with loud music, and that's the opposite of me. Dressed like a gay ambison. Well, okay, we have something in common. We took like two grams of mushrooms and we just saw cool colors. Like the green grass looked extra pretty

and the blue sky looked really, really beautiful. Like you turned the contrast up and made everything nice Maybe even a little bit of a haze around it or an aura not an aura halo around Definitely in the center vibrations are like brightness around But then like a couple years after that I took a quarter of an ounce and that's when I had that that that demon trip. Seven grams. I ate a quarter of an ounce and then we went for a drive.

All right, I was driving. What do they call it when you, I was driving myself. What do they call it when you, heroic dose? Heroic dose. Heroic or hero's dose, that's over five, right? You're right. Then that's when I passed out at Walmart crashed into that sunglass cart.

I was going to say, I was going to be like, I was trying to illustrate how like the most dangerous thing you could do is like blast drugs and getting a hot tub alone. Not getting behind the wheel of a car alone might be worse. No, I had a girl with me. I made it that many safe. It was, it was probably like, it was probably psychologically damaging to take that much and then go like look for frozen food at an Atlanta Walmart.

And you're just looking around at like, these are my fellow humans. No one's got anything figured out. I was like, you didn't explain that you were stopping a woman from driving, so that was the responsible thing to do. That was safer, yeah. Don't worry, I'll drive. No, no, no, no, no, I'll be fine. She was high too.

She was high too. The road was turning into this. Oh, okay. It was getting stretched away from me and becoming long and skinny in front of me. But, yeah, I completely had a panic attack in Walmart. Sounds so scary. Yeah, oh, it was terrifying. That yeah, I completely have panic attacks in Walmart. Yeah. Oh, it was terrifying. That's too.

So here's my understanding. A micro dose is something like a quarter of a gram. A hero's dose is like three to five. Seven. What are you trying to prove? I didn't know. I remember taking the two and trying to touch the face of God. What?

What it really was, what it really was was like, I don't know. I remember taking the two and having no effect. Try to touch the face of God, Woody. Come on. What it really was, what it really was, was like, I don't have a mushroom dealer. It was just something fell into place where someone was like, oh, yeah, I have some mushrooms. Like, you do, because I haven't taken them in years. Yeah, me either, but I have some. It was like that. Like, I don't have ready access to these mushrooms then or now.

And so I was like, OK, well, I don't want to fuck up like last time and only take two grams or whatever I took and just kind of see pretty colors. I wanted to get high. I want to see what the big fuss is about. And but then like, I can't explain why I went on the went to dinner. We took them in my bedroom. We took them in my bedroom in a safe place. And then we went and got in the car and drove the town. I can't explain why this drug instinct to go outside. I don't know what it is. I have no explanation. I would never recommend that or do it again. I don't know why we went,

but we went and had a real adventure. My buddy came over to, uh, the take mushrooms. We were going to go walk outside and stuff and just trip out in the woods. And then it started pouring as soon as our buzz kicked in. And we were like, like inside sucked and like we have YouTube on it sucks. And it's just brutal. And then like, we're not touching YouTube. And then it goes to a macho man, Randy Savage, like old wrestling promo cuts.

Or he's like, Oh, your brother, like old wrestling promo cuts, where he's like, your brother, the cream always rises to the top. And we, it just hit perfectly for us. We were like crying, laughing, but YouTube was now recommending the videos. So we're letting it goes to another wrestling promo and another wrestling promo. And we were so teed up for when it just started going to Trump speeches, like it went from 90s wrestling promos to it's like, Oh, you like this? No, I get it.

Yeah. And then it's like, and it's like Trump, like compilations and we're just, we're in tears. He is like at this moment, he's the funniest person ever. And the fear that he's the president or anything is not present. And it's just only hilarious. It's only it's like, it's like at night, it's the best TV character ever made. And he's killing the role. And you just forget the part that it's real life. And we were cracking up. We were like in tears. We watched like It's real life and we were cracking up. We were like in tears.

We watched like two hours of Trump. I was like, oh, and then like, you know, my wife comes home, she was like, how's your day? And I'm like, shut up, bitch. Where's dinner? You didn't. Did you go outside in the rain? No.

I was like stood at the window. We didn't, we didn't have rain gear. And he's like very much a guy that wouldn't put on one of my jackets. Like he has his he's like he's he's got a he's like you'd love to go camping with this guy. Yeah. Actually, it's Donnie. It's Donnie. I'm talking about Donnie for my podcast. Yeah. Cool. Cool. But yeah, we were we were in tears. And it was the only time that I saw like, I don't know, I was cracking up. But then listen, I got a weird sense of humor. There was like two years where I thought the situation from Jersey Shore was the funniest guy on television. Like two full years. Like

Abercrombie and Fitch paid him not to wear their shit anymore Yeah, yeah, and their stock dropped but then they made a shirt They made gear that said the Fitchy the situate What what they mixed Abercrombie and Fitch with situation and made it like the fit you Asian The same like that and like stole his IP and so he sued them He's like hey, you thought I was so bad for business you paid me not to wear your shit then you stole my whole thing and but he lost in court Abercrombie Fitch has good lawyers I guess damn Josie Jersey was was when like society started

taking a dip like we never recovered from Jersey Shore yeah that's what happened. Yeah. And I knew, well, I was a teacher at the time. So on Friday, I would talk to my grade 11 students about Jersey Shore the night before. And for like three weeks on Friday, I'd be like, see, you guys watched Jersey Shore. Everyone in the class watched it. We spoke about it. And it was the third week when I was like, yeah,

I saw Jersey Shore last night. And they're talking. And someone was like, yeah, and then Ronnie did the, and they were like, someone was like, he's so cool. And someone was like, yeah, no, I wish I was Polly D and I was like, hold up, hold up. What do you guys, you guys like them? You guys are watching.

And I'm like, no dudes, I watched this. Like I went to the zoo and I'm watching monkeys throw shit at each other. You guys are like, I want to be the monkeys. We can't talk about Jersey Shore anymore in this classroom. No more talking about. Sure was bad conversation in the classroom. It was never present anymore after that. I was just like, I can't believe you guys have been consuming this backwards. But what did you teach again? And age this? I

taught high school, which was grade 7 to 11 so 11 years old to 15, 16, 17. Okay. And it was phys ed, media, history, usually were the subjects that I taught. Cool. Cool. Yeah. That was awesome. You would have been so. Lifetimes ago. You ever get one of the hot teachers? You ever make that happen? Because I feel like, you know, why would I do that when there's only students around?

Now is a gas. Well, that's just the thing. I should be called up. Yeah. He's in an apple orchard. And you're asking him to eat the ones off the ground. Ah, you're right. I don't know what to say. Off the ground. The rotten ones that have been eaten.

Jesus Christ. I don't know about that metaphor. I got it out of my head. Let me do our ad read here. This episode of PKA is brought to you by our by today's sponsor Better Help. So let's hear a little bit about their service. Life is full of twists and turns and it's important for you to show up for yourself through it all. Mental and dental. Gotta take care of it all. We're very serious about everyone taking care of their physical health here on PKA and maintaining a healthy physique, but mental health is

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get yourself a bottle down there and you'll be shocked. And so will your partner. And of course our merch store is linked down below, get yourself some stickers, the stickiest stickers. I don't know if we've got the coffee cups on there yet, but we're always adding new stuff, so check it out if you haven't in a while. And of course our Patreon, it's linked down there below,

support the show, $1 at a time or whatever you feel like giving. And if you jump up to that $50 level, you'll be able to hang out with us. This weekend, we're doing our hangout and to spend all day with you people shooting this shit. It's usually a good time usually somebody usually gets real messed up embarrasses themselves. We haven't had a fuck show in a minute. I'm sorry. People come in, they're like haven't had a fuck show in a minute. I I'm sorry people come in They're like, where's the book show? And I'm like, I mean, I'm not gonna do it

It's it's up to y'all to make it happen. But fingers crossed We had girls last time we didn't have girls last time we had like one and a half maybe two It's something like that. Yeah. Yeah Was it I think you're right one and a half And something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Was it I think you're right one and a half Taylor I a guy who's using lock and load calling to my show and I was trying to wrap my head around it Because he's like, yeah Yeah, but you know I took it because I was dating this girl and she loved how much you know

How much I was shooting or whatever, you know, and then she left me and I'm like and you're still taking it He's like, yeah, I'm like for who is like just for me, man What you know, you don't want to go back volume of Calm is the important to these guys. Absolutely bro. It makes your comms better But does it make him better or larger? Both. Think about, well it does both. Think about when is the absolute best time that you're coming. It's when it's coming out. The longer you can extend the amount that's coming out, the better. Sure, so you're saying it extends the amount of time that the comes out. A pleasure. It extends your pleasure. Your pleasure is

increased. And it makes your jism pearlescent. It's interesting. Because I'm a professional jerk-off artist and I've never once thought there's not enough coming out of this thing but the more I hear about lock and load maybe I'm in the dark. Yeah, well cavemen were cool with cold meat until they discovered fire. Oh, that's perfect. I was searching for a metaphor I couldn't do. No goon cave is complete without lock and load. Yeah, you gotta have it. Searching for a metaphor. I couldn't go to cave is complete without. Yeah, you got to have it. It does make your comes. But one of my calls point about per lessons, 100% true.

Dude, it works. It's like we've said this. I'm not denying that it works. It's the what it accomplishes that I am trying to wrap up. Oh, your precom. We're going to be off the charts. You're not even going to be able to. I feel like is underestimated.

It becomes part of foreplay. Yes. The three you are positively leaking. Oh, oh, my God. A lot like tenfold. Do you? Wow. You're going to like triple. That's why.

Yeah. But your but your precoms are like it's like it's leaking over there. Like you is not only is the meal three times larger, but there are appetizers ahead of time. Like you pull it out and there's one chunky drip already coming off the tip. More than one. That's what they want. That's what they want.

That's what women want. Don't ask them. But don't ask them. Women don't know what they want. We do. They want one chunky drip. We know what they want. We know what they want. You ask a woman what she wants, what she really, really wants. You just get a bunch of nonsense afterwards. You always see these girls talk with their friends and they go, he's just not dripping the way I get a bunch of nonsense afterwards. You always see these girls talk with their friends and they go, he's just not drippin' the way I want a man to be drippin'.

His drip doesn't chunk. His drip is not chunking. I thought I turned this guy on. His chunks are not drippin'. Yeah, you're absolutely spurting. And it's a beautiful pearlescence, Kyle's right. And the reason for the pre-cum is Kyle and I were very insistent on the PyGium inclusion,

because that's what gets you drippin'. Taylor's passionate about PyGium and cum on the outside of the bottle. Those were his things. Those are my big, yeah. I fought hard in that group chat. Right? And then it went to the mat.

We gotta get more come on the outside of the bottle. Was the marketing guy hitting you back? Being like, so we did some runs, some prints of come on the outside, which is weird, it's looking very gay now. No, they were like, this credit card processor. What he actually said was credit card processors in Canada might worse. We're going to say no. So like, if I saw the original, the original

fight was it was, it was either Derek or Tristan or one of his guys being like, we don't know about the credit card processing. If we have the cum splatters on the bottle, we're going to have to lose those. And I pushed back and was like, guys, this is, what are we even doing here? And so how about we, because like the, the cum splatters you see on there is a heavy reduction from what I suggested.

And so it was nothing but come in there. And for a product built around heavy improvements, you can't have a heavy reduction. I listen. The thing is, if, if, if I were a part of it, I would have been like pushed back, I think. And I listen, you're right with the come on. And I think it's great. You know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, yeah, it's all good. But my thing is I would have been like, we got to really communicate very clearly though, that these are not come pills. They are pills that will enhance

your come. These are not capsules of come. They're my compills. You're like, yeah, you take a compil every day. I always do it. My favorite podcasting dudes. they said that my favorite races podcast said that I got to take these compils. I bought it off of, you know, I would have to be like, no, we got to let them know that it's none of there's no common here. So it's no coming. The come is in you.

There's a little common there for being honest. All right. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. That's how they would know. They'd take one and they'd be like, ah, this one's a little acrid, like salted meat. This must have been a Taylor pill.

Look at you. People that bottle the cum pills are actually also the product testers. So the little bit of cum is on their glove when they're bottling it up and screwing the top on. Sometimes they're- We joke. We joke all the time about the, the lead up, but Kyle and I genuinely were sharing data. Like it was scientific.

We were trying, he was doing that. I didn't do this. We were measuring loads. I was more doing visual loads. Like what? All right. So here's what you did. I'm a fucking genius over here, so it didn't take me long to figure it out. You blow in a condom, then you tie a knot in that bad boy, and then you get out a syringe, and you draw out the semen in the syringe,

and then you're able to do that thing doctors do, and you flick it, and you get all the air out, and you get a precise measurement. Seems like a real genius would have just weighed the condom. Weighed the condom. Well, then I get, then I, but I don't know what the, uh, how to, how to get volume from weight with semen. Cause I don't know what, like, I don't know, one milliliter of semen weighs. I mean, do we need to know the volume? We just want to know the... No, I, I, I respect what he's saying. I, I, my first thought was what you said. I thought...

Well, if I come to y'all and I say, you're going to come 3.2 grams, you don't know what that means. But I came back. I did was I came back and I said, I came 11 milliliters. You're going to come in 18. I would say I improved load sizes by 300%. That's true. It did. It was, it was, it was like 325% is what an increase my load by. I say under promise, over deliver, say double your load immediately. And then when people are tripling their load.

Or your commies back. I wasn't I wasn't as I wasn't as fancy as Kyle. I was just kind of looking at her lower back and being like we were we were a Hawaii and now we're a fucking Philippines. What is the group of islands called in it? Archipelago. Archipelago. Thank you.

That is what I was hunting for. Yeah. I'm pretty sure Philippines is the biggest archipelago. Yeah. Nice. Check it out. Code PGA. Code GS.

The Philippines. Yeah, nice. Check it out. Code PGA code. Yes, the filthiest. Taylor, I sent you a wonderful book since your own vacation. I wanted you to have something to read while you're relaxing. How far have you gotten through blood meridian with the darkest, most horrific Western ever written? Dude, only like 85, 90 pages

so far, because every time I go to the beach, I'm with people. And so I'll get, and it's very densely written. And there's no, there's no quotation marks, which is something I noticed immediately. That was really strange where it's like, you can't just thoughtlessly read it the way you could like a popcorn Stephen King book. Like if you are just thoughtlessly reading,'re gonna lose yourself in the dialogue because it pops up out of nowhere goes back to description out of nowhere and every single time I started on the beach someone starts talking to me or like a

conversation starts and it's like all right I'm not gonna fully appreciate this book unless I actually fucking read it and so I've put it to the side for now. I'm a hundred percent reading this when I get home read it. And so I've put it to the side for now. I'm 100% reading this when I get home because it's fascinating so far. What do you think of the Judge character? He's pretty hardcore. That intro where he's just an absolute ghoul and all of his minions like laugh at his ghoulishness,

I don't wanna give anything away, it's this hardcore Western written by Cormac McCarthy. He wrote the road and no country for old men and a lot of really well regarded novels. And it tells the story. I think it's in the 1840s of this wild west gang who are who are like Indian fighters and they sell scalps and A member of the group is this character called the judge. He's a seven foot tall albino Aristocrat who is more cruel and evil than you can imagine like he drowns puppies for fun evil He he rapes and murders evil and a lot of people interpret comically evil Yes, a lot of people interpret comically evil. Yes, a lot of people in believe he is Satan. They believe he's literally Satan in the flesh and that's his

role in the in the book. So as you read sort of like look for any hints or like clues that he's the actual devil. Yeah, I hope you like it. I loved it. I'll keep an eye out for devil hints. But yeah, he's they did they wasted no time even introducing him that he was horrible Like just making things up about people for fun to fuck them up like, you know in ways that don't even directly benefit him tangibly

Just because he thinks it's fun Yeah, he's an agent of even chaos. Yeah he's like uh He's an agent of evil and chaos. Yeah. He's like, he's just pure evil. I don't think I'm gonna see, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I'm gonna see any redeeming bits from him where they try and humanize that character.

I think he's just out and out evil. 100%. How's the vacation going? Going great. I was from like 6 a.m. this morning to like 1 p.m. or so. I was sea fishing and I caught a northern Atlantic shark which was only like three a bit over like three feet long and I was like so bummed when I caught it because I was so sure that that wasn't something you could keep and eat but

then the guide guy who you pay to take out there on his boat was like, oh, these are good eating You know you make like shark nuggets out of it and so I was immediately satisfied because all the only thing I want out of fishing whether it's like And my grandparents farm and I'm catching catfish or perch or out on the ocean is I need to be able to eat it. I Absolutely despise catch-and-release Fishing it's just not fun. There's no payoff. It's like you take a photo and that's it.

I like the adrenaline rush of like when they grab the line and like hooking them and reeling them in and like trying not to lose it. To me, that's the fun. Oh, I was reeling it in for a while and there was a time where in my head I was like, I'm starting, like my forearms are burning and I'm starting to get pretty tired. Like like, like my, like, you know, you just crank and crank in that, that rod and reel.

And I was like, but I can't, I can't stop right now. It's so close and everybody on the boat is going to think I'm gay. If I switch a switch on. Is there a real man who can help? They're gonna think I'm a gayless. I was like no. Once you got the shark in how did you dispatch it? Did you just womp him on the head with a bat?

I pulled it up to the boat and then the guide guy used a giant hook and he went whack and he smacked the thing on the side and yanked it up onto the boat. He missed the first time and I guess he just like glanced him and he was like these things they're you know even the little sharks they're they're hide is tough so you really got to punch him in there to bring him up like he didn't do this with any of the other fish it was only the sharks he did this with and then he hooked the shark and brought it up And then he told me where to grab it all it was flopping on the ground And so I just kind of grabbed it in that area and lifted it up and then it was still alive But he told me just toss it in the freezer. And so I guess it died in the freezer

What if it's well, I I know it died in the free. It was rough It was like, you know where you you go the wrong way on a snake Yep, that kind of thing where it's not not quite like a snake like not big scales, but you could feel that roughness Exactly. Yeah, so hopefully we're planning to cook those up because I caught one someone else caught a similarly sized shark and then another third person we were with caught some like fish that looked they had the same back as a sturgeon but I guess it wasn't called that I'm blanking on what he referred to it as and the guide was

like all right you got that one I can tell just looking at it that's not 36 inches but we're out at sea you want me to fillet this real quick because it wasn't legal and then I guess the Hd no cops are yeah the guy who caught it was more of an angler than the rest of us because he was like no no we'll just stay legal we're fine and I wanted to do dude I want to fucking eat this game you're in trouble now mr. how about this right has been how about our activities they've been free and I don't haul you in a fish and game prison how about they've been free and I also get this 33 inch fish instead of this 36 inch fish but yeah I was it was a good time I think I'm

more sunburned now that I've been since I was like 10, like running around in the sea, which is probably a good thing. Give me some color sunscreen on. I just lose track of time. I'm having a good time out there. So do you put it on at all? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I spray it on and then I rub the spray in all over my.

You literally have to put on three times. And that's, that's where I fuck up is I'll put it on and then I don't end up putting it on like again. And again again I'll be outside for like five hours last few couple days been super hot and I just totally burnt my shoulders to shit that's how I get fucked too my lotion all over my body come on dude cuz what I'm so careful to put it on like at first and then you like swim in the ocean you do something you're sweating and it's like five hours later i'm like man my cheeks feel hot fuck like it's already it's already too late also like a super white guy

you know like lighter hair like you're begging to get smoked by the sun oh i've got that accutane skin just waiting to be burned you should you know yeah they're looking like Marlon Brando in the island of Dr. Moreau. That's a deep cut. Nobody gets that reference. I do. I do.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. I had anything to comment on. It's really trippy to me that, uh, sharks are older than trees. Yeah. Like sharks. I hate that. I don't know. The fact that me too, let's not believe it, but talk about it. Like it's true for a second. Yeah. Sharks being on the planet for 400 million years, like existing for 50 million years before trees do is just my concept of what the fuck

was going on on this planet and the timeline is so messed up. It just doesn't make sense. It's like, how could something exist before a tree? The thing, I know, right? And it really just puts into perspective that timeline. The thing about us is like, uh, I feel like it really puts into perspective. And I read this in a book, but it's true.

Just where we were on the food chain and to now, like you're pulling a shark out of the water and punching it in the face. They're like sharks down there, like, you know, their eyes looking fucking left and right and not straight being like, who the fuck are these guys? We're like on fucking jet skis. Dude, there was a, there was a boat near us. It was the only boat near us because the, the guide was like, Hey, my buddy has a boat

out here and he says it's a pretty good spot right now. We're going to head there. I watched like this probably 13 year old kid. He hooked a hammerhead, which like, even if you reel it in, you can't do anything with it. I guess they're protected. Like you can't eat it or anything, but he fought a hammerhead for like 40 minutes. And at some point, I just wanted to like yell over to the, it was too far away to the yell,

but it was like, just like just like what what's the point? Like what you're just torturing an animal who's eventually gonna be let loose and be like, oh my god That was hellish Never sharks never even had to evolve to have a thought So like there's like no thought. I feel like a shark is just the most most instant brain. Yeah. Just like a fucking a bug.

Way less than a bug. It must be 400 million years. Top of the food chain just existing out there on instinct. You never ever had to ever develop any sort of anything. So when that wrestling him for 45 minutes, that sharks just probably like, like, no, there's no concept of just knowing that it's bad what's happening and pushing against it for 45 minutes.

Also the time for that shark must've felt like a decade of that. Oh yeah. Pretty much. Uh, I don't know how many miles, but it took us an hour and a half to get out to where we were. Oh, this is this counts. this guy says deep sea fishing. Yeah, I'd say it's sick. How long are you out there?

Do you say that already? Three hour tour. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it started. Yeah, we headed out at 7am and we got back around like I want to say one one thirty. And so we were out there at the furthest extent for hours and hours and I only reapplied sunscreen once and I

didn't put any of my legs at all ever that was a mistake we tend to do something no no I'm not like Woody. I'm scared of the ocean. I'm scared of the sea. Someone talked to the guy at one point we were like going over a more shallow area. And the guy's like, it's only like 33 feet deep in this little area we're at. Like, cause it was really deep. And then we went over, I guess, some sand area where it wasn't as deep. And he's like, you could swim here. And I'm like, yeah, if you're fucking psychotic, there's a bunch of scary non-sci-fi things. And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Like because it was really deep and then we went over I guess some sand area where it wasn't as deep

He's like you could swim here. I'm like, yeah if you're fucking psychotic, there's a bunch of scary nonsense I love the ocean. You went 3,000 feet. What's the difference? I love the ocean, but I don't ever really want to go in it like when I go to it I never want to go in it. I like to be on the beach, but I just don't really like to go in the water I'm so scared of it. I'm so scared. Really? Giant, terrifying ocean. I saw where like, um, um, those, what do you call them? The, the big, the ships that have the big, uh, uh, Connex boxes on them from China, like one of those barges container, uh, ships,

they had some rite of passage for like the crew. Like when it, when it's your first time out, they stop out in the middle of the Pacific and everybody gets out for a swim like over and they stop at a point that supposedly like extra extra deep. Like they stop over the Marianas Trench or some shit. And everybody gets out and like below you is six miles of death. I know there's no real difference between a 10 foot pool and a 10,000 foot pool. Sure. And just this in this.

But it's the exact same thing as how it's scary. You're not afraid walking 10 feet off the ground, but you're terrified. A thousand feet off the ground or 10 is not even like 50 feet off the ground is scary, but not nearly as scary as 500. Both will kill you. Both are deadly balls. But one of them is just, I don't know. When I look over the edge of a building, we were at the Willis building or the Sears tower, whatever it's called.

Like, I mean, I wasn't gonna not step out there with y'all, but it was like, God damn. Yeah. I've never. Every time. Every time. What are you gonna go? I was just saying, I had the same thought.

I was with Kyle and I like, like Kyle, I wasn't going to siss out, but saying, I had the same thought. I was with Kyle and I like, I like Kyle. I wasn't going to siss out, but there was a part of me inspired to like, Oh yeah. The one time I really wanted to pussy out was when we were on that zip line that time. Like I did not want to go on that last zip line

that was wet over that canyon. You can't put that on a zip line. I'm telling you, I was scared. I was like, fuck, I did not do this. That one started raining. I very much wanted to do it. That one was the fastest one also if I recall. Oh yeah. And I was like more. One thing I really enjoyed. We were a couple hundred feet up and we were going like 40 miles an hour or something but he was like normally it goes, but today you'll get up to at least 45 because it's raining on us. It's like raining as we zip and the wire make the faster you

go, the more high pitched the noise the wire makes, you know, but after a while it starts sounding like a goddamn motorcycle. It's just, it was scary. And I stuck my hand in the, in the pulley at one point accidentally. One thing about, uh, that I really don't miss about, I guess, maybe hasn't been since my very early twenties is something like a situation with friends being like, we're going to go on the zip line. Let's all get on the zip line. And back in the day, I would not want to go on a zip line or something like that. Or some, you know, if all my friends like you're going skydiving and I would

find myself in these situations, I always went snowboarding and stuff. And I got to go down this fucking literally off a cliff with my friends because they're good at it and they need it and they love it. Fuck, I have to do it because I'm 19 and I can't be a pussy in front of Derek and Jeff. Don't be so I pussy in front of Derek and Jeff. Don't be gay. So I go into the really smaller now. Now I could have not rode that zip line and you guys could have made fun of me all day

the rest of my life. And it's just the freedom of being like, man, I don't care. Shit. I will see never going to do that. See, it's not just that it's not like we were all hanging out and it's like, Hey, you want to do this thing real quick. It's like we had already zipped our way out You like zip way out into the woods and zip your way back and so like this is how we get back

I'd be so mad. I'd be like why'd I come here? Who's like deal with? Yeah, why am I they have to like They've got like the gator for you because you're a pussy that was that's untenable Yeah, that's my limit If they have to send like a, like a little Asian man to come collect me in a cart, like, yeah, no, Oh, why, why you nose? Some sort of sense of direction that we went out and I had, I don't have that. I'm complete. If I don't take this zip line, there's no way home.

I don't have that I'm to believe if I don't take this zipline. There's no way home It was toward the end like an hour of like clunk, you know repelling and zipping So like it was probably a long way if you had to walk you you'd have had to walk obviously because it's been Downhill to get to where you are. It's all uphill back the other way. There was no pussing out I wasn't about to but I was also thinking like, man, if there was just a truck right here to get in, then that was the end of the day. I'd like to do that. But yeah, there was also women and children doing it,

so you can't puss out. I really liked this. I was on the other side. Oh, I loved it. There are these safety harnesses when you're waiting in the trees for your turn, and you can fall backwards and let them save you, and I was doing that kind of stuff. There was that one part where we were way waiting in the trees for your turn. And you can like fall backwards and let them save you. And I was doing like that kind of stuff.

There was that one part where we were way up in the top of the tree on a platform and you had to repel off of it backwards. And there's that leaf of faith moment where you just trust the harness and you fall, jump backwards. I don't know, we're 30 feet up at least. Like enough to like cripple kill you.

Like you're not gonna get up from this fall. You're getting carried away at best. least like 50. Yeah, enough to like cripple kill you like like like like you're not going to get up from this fall. You're getting carried away at best. And so that was a little bit of a whoo. But but I don't know, once you've got trust in those ropes, when I did that, I did a thing once where I hung underneath a helicopter and he flew all around. And I was just dangling from a single rope tied to a climbing harness. And like

I wasn't afraid there at all, because when we were at REI, there was a girl there who was like, she climbed like for not professionally, but like she climbed a real mountains, like in her free time. And she was just like, oh, this rope, it holds 650 pounds. You know, this would hold all of us in the room and more.

And we all like got on it at once. And like we have a set up in the REI to like get in your harness and practice all that stuff. And I just had so much confidence in the knot and the ropes that there was just no fear there. So but I guess I kind of had a similar thing when we repelled. But that zip across the valley, it can break. It could it could maybe my harness comes loose climbing gears underrated too like they tell you it pulls 25 is it kgs I don't

even know what the unit of measurement is but a friend of mine works for Black Diamond and he designs climbing gear and they rate their stuff like it needs to exceed what they tell you it will do. Yeah, you'd be good I've seen torture tests like like I watched some Climbing YouTube channels and they'll torture test the ropes by like dragging them back and forth on a on a rocky ledge And met like sharp stuff where you would never actually do it and they just do it over and over and over and over To try to like a braise it and it's really good stuff. I've still got that rope somewhere Hmm, that's cool. Woody, what is your like,

cause you were saying you would just hop in the ocean, no problem. Do you just have no fear whatsoever of creatures of the deep like sharks? Or are you just thinking like, you know, statistically it would be crazy for me to get attacked here. No, it's to me, the juice is worth the squeeze. Like I'm scared, I'm worried there's a shark.

I'm fully aware that in the ranking of sea creatures, I'm right next to you, bro. Like, you know. We suck. I out swim Taylor, but dolphins don't notice the difference between Taylor and I. So like I get it, I'm at their mercy. I just wanna do it. I like to hang on my hat

on like, you know, check boxes off and have live life's experiences. And I want to go deep sea swimming. I don't think I would be, I would be treading water out there and just the whole time there would be this sense of terror and dread that something was about to bite my feet or grab me or grab me and pull me under like right at that moment where I was exhaling like I just exhaled and I gulp a little water on the way down and now I'm like faster faster faster the pressure is building in my ears my ears are popping and it and it's getting cold, so cold immediately, and I look up and the boat is small now. Like that's what I'm afraid of.

The coldest, you've probably done it. Like you're in some lake, it's like 15 feet deep, your friend can't touch the bottom, but you know it's close, and you come back with a fistful of rocks. But it's cold at the bottom bottom and that's what's scary. It's cold and dark. It's cold down there. Yeah. I watched like the videos of the guys who jump off cruise ships and you're like,

how did you never develop a primordial fear of disappearing into the icy black? I think this will be fun. That calls to me. I've been on cruise ships more than most and I'm just like dude they'd be fucking dope and I'm like I'd say I could do this. You'd be fine but you're an elite swimmer. Remember that guy who jumped off the cruise ship and there's the videos, it's a famous video where the guy jumps off the boat and just gets left behind and they never found him like they He died There's a whole reddit about that guy and about whether or not there's a shark in that footage because people show the footage

They're like look right here. See that that's a fucking shark breaking the water right there. They know the theory Yeah, I never saw the shark. I have seen that I'm always like I don't see no fucking shark I don't either. I don't believe oh, you know what? I saw a close-up today that I hadn't in real life before our manta rays Mmm. There were a couple of those out there, but yeah No, you know, you know veto Man someday Before I have the internet I guess I didn't realize how big those things can get because like I couldn't if I would have been laying on its back it would have been upset but if it allowed

me to like with my arms stretched I couldn't have I couldn't have wrapped it up like it looked like it was nine feet across. Yeah. Manter is for a special treat when I live by the beach. Like stingrays, I'd see all the time, but manta rays were a treat. Yeah, they did that cool mouth. That's so cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, I mean, you don't have that, you know, just on how scared the ocean is, you don't grasp how big shit is in there.

Like, you don't grasp it. Also, like there. Like you don't grasp a good type. Also, like it's trippy, like a way like it's a mammal, right? They're mammals. Yes. Are they? Yeah. What are we talking about? They came from the real barn. Oh, whales. How big they are. And then, you know, have bones and share a lot of DNA with you.

And it's a gigantic fucking thing in the water. So so crazy. It goes forever. Like, I don't know, I like to look out to the ocean and think, you know, that's France. Like the next thing you'll hit is France. And somehow that inspires my sense of adventure. It's like Charlie on the Jersey shore,

like how far to the other side? Do not try to swim across the ocean. Do not try to swim across the ocean. Try to swim to Europe. Yeah. I wouldn't be afraid of a whale or dolphins or even orcas. Like, I wouldn't be afraid of any of those things. It's sharks. I'd be scared of Orcas. Dolphins fuck with sharks cause they dolphins can one 80 on the spot and sharks can do a big slow

turn so dolphins apparently will like ride alongside sharks and bash their head into the side of the shark for fun. Like when passing the like fuck with a shark because it's just and you know that shark doesn't know shit. It's just like, oh, like it doesn't have and then I don't like it. So let's go. The dolphins are like teamwork, like hit him in the left side. Yeah, hit him on the left side and then let's go fuck each other. Right. I love coming inside you.

I saw where a sperm whale heard the distress calls of like a dolphin or a porpoise or something and swam to its rescue and saved it From orcas like flipped it up on its body to save it from the orcas I think sperm whales and and orcas have like beef because every now and then the orcas will eat the sperm whale calves So like if a sperm whale can can fuck up an orcas day and like like like save its prey it will Read the only thing that like orcas will be like, we got to get the hell out of here is if like an adult male sperm whale shows up

because they're enormous and they also have teeth and are not as dumb as a shark. All right. Let's, let's give the sperm whale a bit of, you know, a bit of a wide berth. There was a these, these sharks that were turning up. I forget where, I don't know exactly what it was, but these sharks were turning up with huge chunks taken out of them in a place where they're like the top of the main apex predator and they didn't know what it was and they started tracking them and then they found that it was like these two orca brothers would swim actually really far to this place and kill sharks for fun and like swim back and that's just the liver for drugs.

They were eating part of it. They take only the liver. They eat the shark. They talk about like I love this part. I love it. I don't like the shark. They talk about like, I love this part. I don't like the rest. You know, it must have sucked first time you bit into shark teeth. You're like, Oh, no, you don't want that part. This whole don't even go there. All here. The front sucks sperm.

Sperm whales swim down super deep and fight giant squid, like, uh, you know, deep in that dark zone. And so you'll see scars on the, on the whale's body from the suction cups and the claws that are in them. Who goes the apparently sperm whales are not chill. I don't know what marine animal goes the deepest, but sperm whales go very, very deep. I could imagine sperm whales being smart enough that if they could talk to us, they'd come out and be like, Hey, don't call us that anymore.

It's not cool. Can you call us maybe the great toothed whale? Could you do that? They call us down there. Good. The sperm whale, the sperm whales are those ones with the giant teeth that like insert into those weird sockets when they close their mouth. Oh Yeah, that's their moat. That's what Moby Dick was that they live for like 67. Oh my I did not Expect this to look like their mouth

Yeah, it's a mom. Yeah, dude. They're the only way that kill they are the only thing that Torquas our sperm. Well, it's so close to, well, not like a shark yet is kind of like a shark. I had no idea. It's just the sperm whale mouth. Yeah. It's sperm whale mouth. They got giant ass teeth. You ever see that video of, uh, of the beluga that the girl dropped her phone

and the beluga leg brings it up in its mouth and gives it to her. Yeah. Beluga like brings it up in its mouth and gives it to her. Yeah, the level of intelligence is so level of intelligence is so fucked. And then you're like, look at this thing. Look what it looks like. And we're like, just like what it's got bones in there and a skull also. They get impressed at the aquarium if they don't get visitors. So the aquarium sets up cardboard cutouts of people.

I think I remember hearing something like that There's no way they're falling for that. That's adorable They appreciate the At that part they're probably just like I just like that we see this asshole come out and do this whole You guys are nice for trying. Thanks for trying If you if you make noises, they're gonna have to do they'll do more they'll bring more out next time No, I always know the sea animal life are the worst for is the sunfish Every single pick the sunfish I think is the largest bony fish in the ocean. They're fucking enormous and

Every single part I see of them is someone like they have like an enormous comically sized bite out of part of them and they don't even bleed they're just fine they're just still sucking water down there this is a very bizarre looking creature I saw this one video actually is a great video it was there's this big it was like on the side of the road somewhere. I'm probably fucking Africa There's a big crater on the side of the road like in the mud and there's a whole bunch of elephants and a baby Elephant is inside this muddy crater and it can't get out because it's too heavy and all the elephants are gathered around Like what the fuck dude? Oh my god, And they can't get, and this one elephant goes like to the highway there, to the road.

And it's literally by the road and it's waving its trunk at passing traffic. And then the next scene, it shows like these people are there with like a truck and they're tying up the elephant and they're pulling it out and they get it out of the crater. And all the elephants are like putting their trunks up. I'm like, and I just like the idea that the elephant was like, fuck, you know what, guys, I gotta go. I'm going to them that that

shit, those things, I'm going to them and I don't know. We gotta do it. We gotta do it. I don't know No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, of fucking sick of it. Elephants who are tired of like their area, their territory being fucked with by agriculture and whatnot. And so they'll just run in to some rural village in India and kill a ton of people, stomp on them, grind them into the dust and then leave.

Pick up your trash. You must have. Pick up your trash, litter bug. I live near elephants, I'd have an elephant gun. It makes sense. Oh, come on. What do you mean? If you shot an elephant there, they'd probably beat you to death.

I mentioned already I have an elephant gun. Yeah, I already took down an elephant with this. You think you're going to stop me? I wait till you're reloading or something. You know, no, you an elephant guns, a big fucking thing. And then you probably just wound and make him incredibly angry. And he then kills you. I would just try to make peace with the elephant or run or hide.

And they're not that big of a threat.. I wouldn't want to shoot something like that. They were wrecking the whole village and killing people. I can neither reason with it. You're not going to be there. What's that? You're not going to be there. White hero. You know, the, the, the number one, uh, the number one natural predator of Indians is train tracks Yeah, well those guys love hanging out on train tracks I've seen they love also standing on top of trains and grabbing live wires

Very aggressively for no reason. In India apparently the tracks aren't like they are here in the UK. And so people commonly grab the track because the vibration will give you an idea how far away the train is. And then people aren't up to date culturally and they'll grab the tracks where we live or in the UK or something. Rare, rare occasions, but yeah, they get fucking destroyed for that. And I've seen probably an Indian guy in the UK is doing it. No guy is like, boy, bro, you think we should look at the placard there on when the train's going to arrive?

No, I think I'm gonna jump down into the pit and then grab the third rail. Makes sense to me, man. Wait, they grab the track to see if the train's gonna, I used to do that as a kid, by the way, but they're doing it in the UK with this like high speed rail? They were in India and they just got there. Like I just read literally a story. There were a couple of instances of a person coming from India

and grabbing the track. Yeah, yeah, we. Yeah. Takes me back. Yeah, they shouldn't do that anymore. No, I mean, when I'm. Have you seen the selfie videos where it's like an Indian guy standing in front of a train that's clearly going to hit him and he's like, what did it, what is up fellows?

And then he just gets absolutely like a shit house by a train. Right. It like hits him. If it's the same one that I'm thinking of, he like far enough away and it just comes in and smashes like at the back of him. It's crazy. I've seen that one with a guy. He's like he's hanging out and doing moves and like signs are passing and then he gets smashed in the head with a sign. Is that the one where he has the big doofy smile on his face and the train just like

honking? That's every single video. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Oh, you're welcome to put alive I am so alive right now Nothing bad ever happens to Patel! Patel will live forever! They're like, okay man, god damn it. They just get rolled. They're so happy! That's the weirdest thing. You would think living in India they'd all be miserable or whatever.

And I'm sure they are, the ones who aren't in front of their fucking cell phone. But man, they put on a good show. When they're taking these selfie videos. They're like, look at how we make the fucking food. Have you seen that lady like Preparing soda and she's just like banging it on the video I've seen that where they put in there. They're putting their fucking fingers in it for no reason They're putting their fingers in it. I'm like dude. Just put just pour it gently into a glass Would you like a sprite with my fingers in it? No You know I fucking wouldn't.

I heard doing it with Half-Life 2 sound effects and it's just incredible. It's just sound effects from Half-Life 2. Oh really? That's awesome. She's banking the glasses and putting the ice in and drilling powder everywhere. It just shouldn't be bad. Well because it always shows up on my Twitter and it says incredible Indian auntie prepares delicious rocket soda and I know nothing about this is

incredible or delicious on any level. I actually get the racist tweets of the video. Alright that's what I need more of. It's like can you believe she put the ice in the soda so quick? I'm like yes I can absolutely believe that. This doesn't look hard at all. Here, I found it on Twitter if anybody wants to see it. Have you seen that clip of the Indian? You know how there are those like super fast moving bartenders who do a bunch of stuff

like rapidly because they're so trained? Have you seen that clip of the Indian guy who's trying to pretend to be that, but he's like doing everything at normal speed, but he's moving his head back and forth incredibly fast? He's so funny. He's cutting pizzas, but he's like, he's like, look how fast you can cut the pizza. You're like, that is the worst slice.

I'm like, one of the pizza you like that is the worst slice Is like this the other slice like half the fucking pizza and Yeah, the pizza does not come out that quick that you need to cut it that like another pizza is not coming out in the next two seconds so you gotta get it off the fucking table like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT you're doing shit do it slower he was doing the he was doing the fast cuts and then there was a huge amount of time before the next pie was put in front of it so there was no reason for this he's acting like there's like a rush like everybody's rushing to get oh thank you for my tiny sliver of pizza, you fucking idiot. Honestly, there needs to be a channel devoted to the slowest Indian food preparers. They need to be celebrated. We need to get this country on the right track. We need to go, actually, food can be delicious when prepared with love and care, as opposed to thrown on the table and hit with a bunch of stuff. Kyle, this video you shared, she's... Why are, why do her hands have to be so involved in what I'm drinking?

I don't know. Yeah, this is the same- There's no way it's better than just getting a Coke from a vending machine. That woman's never washed her hands on purpose in her life. It's all just the accidental... You know what I mean? The thing that infuriates me about that video is she's all excited about how quickly she

puts the ice cube in the glass and she immediately takes it back out to smash it on the table and put it back in the glass. I'm like, why didn't you break it into pieces first? Now you're just adding it up. She's stirring it up, ruining it. Can it then I say that the stirring ruins it's carbonated soda I'm sure yeah with mine that I want that carbonation is what makes it tasty to me and fuck you all you don't know shit about India we we know enough that it's not another relationship with ice With ice

Right Have you ever drinking sprite and been like man, I wish there was some dirt and shit She's not even making like a new thing. It's just sprite with like dirt powder in it She was like putting like different juices in with with yeah That would be cool like especially if it was some like organic Indian grown like dragon fruit bullshit or something I never even heard of like oh this fruit is delicious the nectar of the blah blah blah plant, but no she's just making dirty sprite I want to find out what's in these dirt packets. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. See, now I want to try Dirt Sprite. What if it is really good? When I worked at Cisco, the population of Indians was huge. And in America, this means yes. You nod your head and this means no. But in India, this means

yes. The cafeteria workers would throw a fucking fit. Do you want rice? And they're like doing one of these deals. Completely lost. Is that a yes or a no? It's funny. That's got to be that's how you that's yes there. Yeah. Like ear to ears. Shoulders.

God. How did that happen? The British were helping them there for a long time. They got it wrong. They got it. I just don't know why I like never bothered to look into why the head wobbles like that so much. Why that's such a common thing, but like it's common for people to talk and be like talking to someone and be like, yeah, and then tomorrow when we do that, we're going to do it and you're like, right. They probably look at us and we be like, yeah, and then tomorrow when we do that, we're going to do and you're like, right, they probably look at us.

And they're just like agreeing with it's not ear to ear. It's like, no, I know exactly what it looks like. You know, I know exactly what I was doing it. Well, yeah, he's actually ever seen the video where the guy goes to like, one of those isolated tribes that has no like contact with the outside world. And he like, I think he gives them some rice or something and they eat it. And they just start like hitting themselves in the head. And he's like, oh, fuck, they really hate rice.

But it turns out in their culture, they're like, this means like this tastes really good. He's like really freaked out. He's like, you guys don't have to eat the rice. It's fine. I'll take it back. That's great. They're just like, yes, yes, yes. That's my dream is to fuck with an uncontacted tribe. Like, that's my dream.

I want them all to myself and I want to be able to fuck with them. I just want to I want to share. Oh, fuck with them. No, seriously, what he's saying to what he's saying. I always wanted one. I always wanted just one. I want to have one guy have him on my couch. Yeah. And be like, bro. Okay. So now that you played doom 93 on the computer, this is doom 2016. Okay. Watch and then turn the lights off and then be like,

okay. So we just got here. This is a fried chicken sandwich. We're about to watch the matrix and you're gonna get you're gonna get a rub and tug after this dude. I would like tell me the tell me the story of your ancestors. We were birthed by the moon dragon and he comes back every month and we have to scare him away with our prayers or he'll eat us again. You're not doing a drone show to torture him, are you? Let me show you my ancestors real quick and I just put on Lord of the Rings and I pretend like I'm descended from Aragorn.

So anything I say goes, understand? My ancestors fought the moon dragon a million times and we threw a ring into the volcano so he never comes back. Or honestly, just show him the Apollo. My ancestors fought for new minds. I saw where they were talking to an uncap tech to try it one time and they were explaining that like, we walked on the moon and they're like, OK, I'll show you.

Hey, we got to kill this guy. I can tell him right now. The problem is how quickly, though, like they will because they did a documentary one time where they brought over like some of the poorest dudes out of some shithole country and like this is America. And they were like flipping out there like, oh, my God, they brought them to the grocery store and they're like, what the fuck you have all this fucking food, whatever. And you're like, oh, that's so incredible.

The childlike wonder, the experience of the great bounty. I can't wait to see. And they came back to him in a year and they're all like, yeah, this is my car. And we got some weed. And you're like, no, no. Like they immediately like assimilated into the culture or like wearing chains and tracksuits and shit. And you're like, he was so blown away by our American grocery stores.

It's just a shame he molested that seven year old on the way in. 80 percent is for his village. Yeah, well, Jesus Christ. No, dude, just those guys would be so fun to pal around with everything you ever showed them. You ever show somebody like a YouTube video that you're really proud of and And immediately it doesn't click for them and you're like music to 45 seconds into it and it's very awkward It's a four-minute video. I've stopped ever showing people YouTube videos specifically because that's the most terrifying

Interact. You show this KoopaKoopa guy from the Dudu tribe of Paraguay and I don't care what it is, woodworking, fucking space documentary. He's just going to sit there and wonderment. Ah, the magic of screen. Can I enter? Is he trying to get inside of the fucking TV when he sees water or something? So you are telling me that this is not happening right now. See, the problem is you think that he would have the process that you did to be introduced, but he's getting it at a weird time.

So like now that I'm thinking about it, if I was like, oh yeah, here's doom 2016. Here's this show. Here's Lord of the Rings. Here's whatever he would probably, if you did show him everything, he would probably like have the phone up with like some dumb fucking gambling game. Yeah, porn porn in between gambling like the phone would get him. That is fascinating. But frankly, I've almost got this retard in Kentucky out of his savings. Give me 10 minutes. No, he's one of those type of Indians.

It is interesting, like, did we introduce certain technologies to certain cultures like too early, you know? Were certain cultures ready for the cell phone and the internet? India wasn't ready for Twitter. No, they were not, at all. And the only thing they've done is they've been like, I can scam all white people into buying me

iTunes gift cards. When I was like, yeah, Sony invented the Walkman. So yeah, it was the first time I ever heard a headset and that I felt I feel like I had this uncontacted tribe moment

where all of a sudden it's like, where is the music coming from? Where is it? It's like it's everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Insane. And the mix that the fact that like music, the song that you enjoyed, you're used to waiting for it to come onto the radio and someone's talking during it, or maybe you just heard a piece of it, but to be able to like, like actually for me,

it was a disc man and I put a CD of it, but to be able to like, actually for me it was a Discman, and I put a CD in it and had good headphones, and headphones was never an experience, the Kim was like a music kit or whatever, and fuck, it was crazy. It was crazy, because there's nothing comparable to it. I remember having dial-up and it would take like an hour, maybe two hours to download like one MP3.

And I remember one shithead kid came over my house. He went, all your music's gay. And he deleted like half my MP3s. And I'm like, that was six months of work. And I thought, yeah, that is dumb. And I thought the shit. I started being that kid got into it. I was like, what the fuck? You gotta hunt, I truly believe, just based on the amount of magic cards you have and what you're into, you definitely had the worst music.

Oh, I had terrible music. It was a bunch of like, anime theme songs and shit. And I noticed that was my music. He did you a favor. Yo, the ending song from the third Rama movie, fucking rocks, and we all know it. If he had deleted the other half of your music, you might have got a girlfriend. You're really close. I remember when we had our one dial-up PC, like the family PC, and my mom and dad would on very, you know, specific

occasions both go and be like, we're taking your younger brother to his hockey game and we're both going. And I'd be like, all right, well, I guess I'll stay home. And then it was just a frantic, like, can I please download like two images in decent quality, just two, so I could jack off to it. And then you would see like sometimes, like you'd get down to like the tit or the navel level on a download and you'd be like, ah, this isn't gonna crack it, cancel this.

We gotta get back to, we gotta go back to the site and find Another thing today's kids will never know about loading you onto a PSP memory card to take on vacation Your parents are like we playing god of war shut up I remember I remember when my friend got a psb and that was sick Yeah, dude, that was a f*****g moment. When internet porn was new, pop-ups were not solved yet. They were always popping up windows everywhere and porn sites were the worst at

it, but I had a positive attitude. I was like, uh, jokes on you. I like this too. After bag, remind us I do. I remember I got a lot of work done to those preview videos where it was like, you know what? I don't even need the whole sex. She pops her tits out in this preview. I can do this. My shame was accidentally somehow getting a virus on the family computer that Simpson's

porn pop-ups kept showing up. And I was like, I don't know what happened. Yeah, clearly my sister did know what happened yeah it's her fault I have no idea where this came from there are six months of our life we're just you would use the family computer you're like god damn it Marge stop it horrible things about Maggie from the Simpsons? It just popped up. Why did you get it? Fuck you. I'd go and help people with their computers back in the day, and I'd like sit down and be like, yeah, there's an issue.

And like I would go and like touch the mouse and like, you know, then a pop up would come up like a horny pop up. And then I like lift my hands up off the keyboard and mouse like, oh, but now I'm in your goon station. I know how I know what's wrong here. Like a pop up virus thing that's only from visiting porn sites. And I don't remember back in the day, the memory, you know, the address bar where you put in like, www dot now you could put in whatever you want, and it'll Google it back in the day, literally had to be HTTP colon

slash slash www dot whatever. So my buddy got a computer and I went over like the second day he had it. Like first thing in the morning, we're like, yeah, it's going with school. On the Internet, we go on the Internet, we hit the address bar and there's like, I feel bad. There's like 115 different hits, titties, pussy, big tits. His old Belgian dad, his old Belgian dad, no, he didn't know the.com part. He was just typing horny shit and pressing enter and it wasn't working and he was

trying other things. Porn. No pornos titties, tits, porno. And he's like, it's his dad's like just, it's he had to start getting like, he didn't want to give up. He was getting creative and specific. It's like, oh man, I remember one time we were on vacation. And I don't know for some reason I'm like,

hey dad, can I use your phone? He's like, yeah, sure. And I go to use it and he's got like 200 open tabs of just all pornography Because he didn't know what tabs were he just thought they disappeared Your dad My phone's running like super slow or whatever I'd eventually tell me Hey dad, you know, uh, you can close all your open tabs. I'm not making using your phone easier.

He's like, Oh, thank you. And we didn't have a discussion on that. Also, you gotta go to motherless. Also, you're looking at some weird shit, man. Jesus. Let me send you in the right direction because you get second rate poop porn. My dad would ask me how to get access to the porn sites without paying. And I'm like, Dad, it's too much work. You got the one I was when I was 15, actually that same buddy who's he got the computer and his dad was like being born on all that shit in there and just wasn't working out for him. I was with another friend of mine and we had we had fallen into a ton of weed, like half a gram. We rolled it up into a joint.

We were like, oh yeah, we should go get our buddy. Let's call him Cedric. We're like, oh, we should go to Cedric. Let's go get him to smoke this. So me and my buddy, Matt, go to Cedric's house and we call, he doesn't pick up. So we're like, oh, let's go to his room. His room on the ground floor and in the backyard, we'll call he doesn't pick up so we're like, oh, let's go to his room his room on the on the ground floor And in the backyard will knock on his window

So we go around to the backyard and we're like 15 years old we've been smoking all day with our stupid 15 year old brains and We go to the backyard to like knock on the window and as we get up to the window and nighttime But you know his lights are on He's lying in his bed on his cordless phone and he has his pants down to like his knees lying on his bed and he has his dick in his hand, but he's not jerking up. He's like playing with the foreskin in a way that I unfortunately would never be able to experience or understand manipulating it and opening it and pulling

the sides and doing all this shit. And he is my buddy. We were like about to knock on the glass to ask if he wants to get high. And now imagine we're all like 15 years old, like obsessed with G unit and M&M. And our friend is playing with like his little soft dick pulling the force spinners up. We were like, and it's like 2 a.m. We shouldn't be in his backyard in the middle of the night. We are like, screaming, crying, laughing, banging on the glass. He looks at us like so scared and we're like, ah! And I'll never forget, he's like a guy that he's like, not a guy. Like if I did this, you'd be like, oh, you're so ugly, Harley. This is a guy that would, he's not a guy like if I did this you'd be like oh you're so ugly Harley this is a guy that

Would he's not a guy that you ever wanted to see like this He doesn't carry himself like that. He kind of like he carried himself like he was a Belgian dude, but it's weird to say he carried himself like a like an old an old cool-ass black man Like he seemed he seems more more mature than us. He was an old an old cool-ass black man like he seemed he seems more Mature than us he was an old Yeah, he'd like would listen to like you never picked him as a foreskin poll He wasn't the blues and there he is playing with his cock in some weird way that just like Might do

So it's and he comes out and this is the part that I always also remember since the way that he shushed us is he came out and he was like, don't touch your mouth, bro. Like his arms up like this. And he was like, because he just like, that's just the type of guy he was. So me and my longhorns, yeah, he was like, could he have been cleaning? Could you have been cleaning the deck? Was it a smegma situation? It would still be very funny and hilarious, but we were there laughing long enough.

Like, you know, when your first laugh, there's no noise coming out. It's like you're drowning because it's so funny. It was one of those situations. So we were laughing for like 30 seconds before he even knew we were there. By the time he came out, we were like banging on the wall and on the ground. It's crazy. I'm glad no one ever caught me doing some weird dick shit that I probably do. I was never caught a friend doing porn stuff.

Well, like looking at porn. Never. No, I never, never caught a friend doing porn stuff. I have a old-school friend and he doesn't know that one day in high school I was using the library computers and I'm like, ah, there's a floppy disk in here. Let me see what's on this floppy disk. And it was his English essay and a bunch of incest pornography about his own sister. And what the fuck? Like stories. Whoa!

Like stories? Wait, it was what and that? It was like stories he had written out about fucking his sister. I would have whacked off right there. Whoa. And I'm still friends with the guy had it was his own written porn. It was his own written pornography. So what's the formula?

So he comes to school and he writes his porno there, puts it on a flop. He takes it home and loads it up for reading in private. He probably doesn't want to keep it on the computer at home. This is like family computer. Why would you bring it to school ever? Why would it be under a rock under under a tree out in the woods behind your house? Like, Jesus, it's going to you're probably like, it might have been a stepsister. It might have been a stepsister.

I'm not sure. You know, you know, it wasn't, I look, I never looked into it. There's a big difference. One of these is really, really hot. And the other is kind of hot. I have never revealed who it was, but I still talk to the guy. Good. Every time I talk to him.

You've been to the essence of PQH? Pull him out. He might have went through a phase. That's what I'm hoping. Yeah. Hey, was his sister hot in NAREL? I think he had a hot sister. Yeah, was the good paint was his sister hot in RL like I think she would I think he had a hot sister like you know, I

Think I remember his sister like relatively he's not a bad look, you know, he comes from good stock Oh, so they you know good-looking people, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I would have for sure whacked off thinking about them fucking No, I would have made him read it to me. No, no, no. Slow. I should have kept that floppy disk, man. It would have been hilarious if like 25 years later I go, hey, I got you know, he's getting like married to a girl. I go, hey, I got you.

Best man speech. A little slideshow. I got a PowerPoint. I've been holding on to something for just this occasion. John's been a passionate guy. John's been a great writer. He's a great writer. He always has been.

And John, I think you got the great American novel here. You started it 25 years ago. Why don't we pick him right back on that horse? Oh my god. Yeah. He's got his own little great Gatsby. Well you're a good friend because you didn't rub it in his face the way Harley did his buddy. Yeah see like, I don't know.

I guess I was just like, man this would really devastate this guy, Jesus Christ. Yeah and that's gonna mess up your relationship because then going forward, if he knows you know, then neither one of you could be comfortable. No. Because he might if he knows you know then like neither one of you could be comfortable No, because he might kill you know You know what I mean, yeah, exactly no no this is good It was real I'm gonna hope it's a harmless fantasy sure sure sure I mean he would be writing about it if it weren't Right like it's not right Yeah, this was clearly what is a project like what did Dahmer fantasize about Naked boys really being murdering holes and men's Thomas fantasies made perfect sense. You don't want a fucking sex zombie

It's just the way you went around it about it made no sense You're right. I clearly if I pour acid in a hole in the side of this guy's head It made no sense. You're like clearly if I pour acid in a hole in the side of this guy's head He'll be a sex zombie for me. Yeah, you know the worst part is it almost did kind of work It works for like a couple days, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah kind of made him retarded and because the guy stumbled out in the Road and the cops were like what's up with this naked guy and the domer came out He's like that you dude and the domer played it perfectly went, you know, how us gays are and the domer came out he's like dude and the domer played it perfectly you know how us gays are and the cops went yeah all right can you imagine the

mental high can you imagine the mental high of being a gay murderer and having your victim escape and then catching him and convincing the police, you were just fucking like that. Yeah, that had to be the highest high for him. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm killing another person tonight. Yeah, I got to keep this. I'm getting another one right now. I'm actually invincible. I knew it when the chips are hot. You don't walk away from the table when you know when she got one Fucking murdered keep it going. That's true. Let it roll. Let it ride There's a Nothing made a movie out of it

There was like a graphic novel about a guy who just grew up with Jeffrey Dahmer He's like, yeah, it's just like the weird kid in high school We hung out all the time he tortured animals and I should have probably thought harder about that. Yeah. Yeah. Anybody that fucking tortures animals lately, like that's that's like the sign. I don't think you grow out of that. You know what I mean? I don't think you turn that around. Yeah. Yeah. I used to torture animals, but now I'm like a decent human being

who doesn't think of doing awful things and like now you're you're still that guy You're still that guy that cuts bunnies heads off, dude. That shit's fucked. I Never knew anybody who's fucked with animals like that, but it would have been a red flag Where it's like I did know I just crucify squirrels. It's like, okay, I'm not hanging out with this guy anymore Yeah, I know someone that and I didn't know them when they did it and I met them probably like a decade and a half after and uh, after knowing them for 12 years they were like, uh, oh yeah, no when I was younger I was fucked up then I was like, oh yeah What'd you do? He's like no like me and another friend we

We put it like a metal bucket over a rat that was living in like we heated it up. And like, it was just like screaming inside and we were like heating it up with this blowtorch and he was describing it and I was like, that's the fucking craziest thing ever. And I was like, and a lot of your weird quirks look so bizarre now. Like they actually a lot of things I'm like, this guy's fucking silly, dude. No, trust me. You don't know how his brain works. And then I was like, Oh my God, that's literally how your brain works.

Yeah. That's like straight up evil. Like torturing animals. Today, today. And since I've known him, he's been very good with animals, which is very suspicious. See, I was gonna say, like, I could almost trust a guy like that, because like, I feel like, as humans, we're almost trained to like, well, it's like vermin, you know?

It's like rats are there to be exterminated, right? And like, he probably went a little over the top with it, but it was, you know, it's like different than like, killing, I don't know. A lot of people will shoot at raccoons and shit with, you know, rubber bullets or airsoft guns and stuff. Yeah. They're because they're crazy in Canada. I never did anything like that because I actually find raccoons. I wish I had one as a pet. I love that they have hands. And in dude, raccoons are Canada, Canada, bro, they are they're big.

They're crazy. They make it through the winter. They'll climb on top of each other or we'll have multiple of them push a chair next to a garbage can. And we had like epic meals in our garbage can. So they're like, we've got to fucking get in there. And they many times have pushed garbage cans over to get inside. People weigh their garbage cans down with bricks and they lock the garbage.

Like they put a latch over it because the raccoons are crazy. And I had a broom that when I would go out to smoke in the back when there was a bunch, they don't care if you come out like, they don't like I literally have to extend the broom out and like push them and they'll be like and like they push them like pretty intelligent you want oh they are super intelligent you want them like off and when I one time saw them on the deck and I wanted to go smoke but they're there because like we had another garbage bag there they're all chilling i'm like oh yeah fuck these guys I turn on the backlight and I go where's the broom and the broom is on

the outside and one of them looks at me and like runs over to the broom and slams it on the ground. Crazy man. They, they win tonight. They get it. They get the deck tonight. One of the reasons I want to, if I move, I'm going to go to Missouri for a couple of reasons.

It's the we, Missouri rocks and the freedoms and the climate and the culture, but also barbecue, one of the few places in the country, you can have a pet raccoon. I'm going to have a pet raccoon someday. Like, like I, every time I watch it, I don't like to say that raccoon. I can just say, I'm going to get me a little, no, you can't say that. I'm going to me a little Coon. No, you can't say that. I'm gonna have that Coon following me around everywhere I go, do what I say. No, I want a little, a little raccoon friend. They're smart. They have people hands. Like they're devious. I like all that shit. You have to baby proof your house. Thumbs change everything, man.

Yes. Yes. You could teach it to jerk you off, I bet. Like those things we do. Well, I don't know why. You know, that Dave Chappelle bit is like, you know, you know how long it took me to teach that monkey to suck my dick without trying to appeal it first. Well, if you came to Missouri, you would love it. We're the land of freedom. You can't have a pet raccoon in Missouri.

I, I was sure. You're kind of right. I looked it up. There are 16 states in which you can have a legal raccoon and two states where you kind of can, but it's logistically impossible. The logistically impossible states are Michigan and Missouri. What makes it logistically impossible? Do I need a small zoo license?

Because I'm just skin. It looks like it must be purchased from a USDA licensed bleat breeder and there aren't any or something. I'm just starting my research. By the way, I've seen this mobbed by raccoons video before. I love it. Yeah, it's a great one. And that person just so crazy to do that. They're like, they're just easy, vicious randomly. Zach, show some of this. So here's the licensed raccoon breeder. It's a raccoon heaven.com. And it's just like a puppy website. They got all the baby raccoons for sale and their raccoon.

Oh, my God. Look at the baby raccoons boys. Oh this is amazing. I'm looking at the baby raccoons and they're so cute. Are any of these in Michigan? I'm sorry, Missouri? I'll fly. I'll fly. You can just put them in a kennel and have it flown to you just like you do puppies. I mean you just pop into STL. I'm not gonna lie man. You're making a very good case. STO Look at Foxy Wow Do the do the white and like steel or tan covered ones do they Do they grow into that color or do they just become normal raccoon color? I think that's their color for life I've never seen a white record legal in Canada That's cool as shit. Yeah, I really that's cuz they kill them

Yeah, I mean people kill them here. They hunt them. It's a Popular sport to hunt raccoons But they're very guarantee the fine in Missouri for having an unlicensed raccoon is hilariously low Because we also have like drive-through guns ammo and liquor stores and. This guy seems like he has the ideal situation though, which is just the raccoons live on his property, but they're not technically pets, you know? They just feed the wild ones. I want it in my house.

I want to dress it up. What are you gonna, okay, well, that's different. He's gonna winny the fluid everywhere he goes. You know, he's gonna have this shirt with no pants. I'm gonna teach it. Maybe dress him, I wanna do a Sherlock Holmes thing, or he's got the little little Bobby hat or whatever Like me and I could get him to ride my dog like he's a little detective. It'd be cool with that

There's jail time for having an unlicensed raccoon in Jail are they gonna give you for having a problem doing paperwork. I got a federal explosives license. I can get a I have no problem doing paperwork. I got a federal explosives license. I can get a raccoon license. There are no USDA breeders in Missouri. And you have to import it though, right? I don't think that's the difference. Importing is illegal.

You cannot legally import a raccoon in Missouri. Permits are not issued and no permits will be issued for pet. What if I get a zoo license? Because I think that's what I was actually looking at like way back when was that you could just get a zoo license which was i don't know a couple hundred dollars a year or something like that and then you got your raccoon. interesting. yeah i'm a zoo. that's what you do with guns. you're like yeah i'm a gun store now. fuck you. i'm a gun factory now. fuck you. i'm a gun factory. literally that's the license i got. i was like yeah i can. just throwing this out there there, South Carolina, New Jersey, states where you can have legal ... I would rather die than live in either of those states. Have you met a Jersey raccoon? You don't want a Jersey raccoon.

Have you met a Jersey man? Bad animals. A big part of the win for Kyle and Missouri is that we also have all the good stuff legal Like you can just go to a dispensary you can just buy whatever guns you well once Trump pardons you you can buy whatever guns you want Melania by whatever fireworks you want like it so much shit in Missouri is unregulated People say taxes here on the gun state Missouri's the gun state You know Melania's here on like one of those Einstein visas or some shit that makes sense. It's like an exemption for like

Geniuses that we need that we have to get in here like the odds. It's an Einstein exemption. Like I don't about that one Has she done anything Einstein ask Other than create the tallest first child? She did that. She did do that, yeah. That's pretty notable. I saw that Baron was coming down with his early onset bone spurs the other day. I saw that meme. You know when we bombed Iran? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. I won't have anyone disrespect Baron in my presence.

No, talking about all G like you. I got I got fed like one day dozens of Baron Trump super edits on TikTok, where it's like him whispering something to Biden and then Biden looking scared after. And then it's like sick music, Brazilian funk music plays and like it punches in on Baron or edits where he's like, they make him like 50 feet tall. And he's walking behind his father and like, so you have like his crazy captions and shit and just people being like. Like just being mega fans of Baron is hilarious to me. Never even heard of his voice. Yeah, I haven't even heard his voice.

Yeah. You haven't even heard of his voice either. He might, he might be like, actually my father is the most powerful man on the planet. Dude, that's gotta be, dude, that's gotta be such a tough role for a kid. Like coming of age during all this Trump stuff and to have him be your dad. No, it's easy for him. He's been genetically engineered to be the perfect man. We all know it. We all see it. He likes it. He's like, dad, go, you have to talk to Theo Von dad.

And his dad's like, Oh, I think he wasn't he actually responsible for that where he was like, you have to go on Joe Rogan. You have to go on Theo Von. You have to go on XYZ podcast. I thought he was. Yeah, that's his thing. I thought so too. Yeah, that's the Baron maneuver. Of course, a genius like that. I mean, he was right.

I think the Rogan thing really did help push him over the edge in some things. Baron's always right. I think Trump would have still won, but I think maybe he wouldn't have won all seven of the swing states without Donald Trump. Or without Joe Rogan. If I did end up boxing Creator Clash one, but I think maybe maybe he wouldn't want all seven of the swing states without Donald Trump. If I did end up boxing Creator Clash and I did end up winning, my plan was to challenge Baron Trump to a boxing match. That's why I decided who I was going to call out.

You'd be deported. Well, no, I feel like he uses telepathy to fucking knock you out before you even got in the ring man So then I'll you know, I'm already fucked him up, dude. I still I would have been total team Harley fuck that guy up. I Think Baron Trump called level telepath. I think he has psychic powers Himself it like levitation and breaks all my bones. Yeah, yeah, no he would. He'd Akira you dude. He's Legion. It would be the Akira hallway. A bunch of fucking cops lined up.

And fucking just crumples him. That's a tough position for a kid his age. Like what can he... Like he can't even feel free and clear to be silly on like voice chat or discourse or anything. He doesn't need to. He's above like human emotions. He doesn't want to be silly. He just yearns for power.

There's no time to be silly. He's a planeswalker. I hope Trump builds that wall and makes him king of the wall because he'll rule it And I'm sending you to the wall Will be leader of the night's watch that's my belief and he will rule that fucking wall No, they're gonna do a little switch Don jr. Is gonna run the the the night's watch Baron will sit on that sure yeah actually no send that send that retarded looking one Eric up there

he can guard the wall oh nobody likes that guy what's he up to like who knows he's the son of the president nobody gives a shit what he's up to. I saw them hocking those gold cell phones the other day. I saw like a quick video of that. Uh, those made in China or the American cell phones that are, they started saying they were made in the USA and I'm like, really a cell phone made in the USA and then they changed it to saying they're designed with American values in mind.

I'm coming to the US in like two days. So I just want to say I have no problems with anything he does and how the policies that he implements that's he's in charge for a reason and that's where people chose. So I off your phone. But I know I did that. I did that in Florida. I actually did do that. And when I was doing it, I was like, Oh, this is interesting. Like, I'm not making a big deal about it. But I was like, this is interesting. Here I am deleting stuff that I've posted. I just I'm like, I don't need

a Trump tweet from 2020 to exist on Twitter. I'll delete it. And the action of it, I was like, I don't need a Trump tweet from 2020 to exist on Twitter. I'll delete it. And the action of it, I was like, I must acknowledge right now. This is interesting that I'm doing this. It's what it's like authoritarian government, right? You're worried that Browncoats will come with their masks and snatch you up and throw you in the van. So what you're saying is you can feel Trump's power from across the continent.

It must be horrible to not be able to say what you want on social media. I can't imagine. I can't imagine a decade of that. Man. I got no issues with Trump. This has been a good week for Trump. I was talking on WhatsApp earlier. I'm like he's on a hot streak this week. He's got he's at fucking NATO. They're all like yes sir daddy we'll all put in five percent. Spain's like, he's on a hot streak this week. He's got he's at fucking NATO. They're all like, yes, sir, daddy, we'll all put in five percent. Spain's like, I don't know. It's like, fuck you, Spain, you little bitch. Spain's not one to pay. Everybody's talking about it. Spain's cheap. They don't have any money.

Get covered in bills. And everybody's like, yes, they've got Trump's back. Everybody's like, we couldn't do this without you, Daddy. Trump literally called him daddy. He's selling daddy Trump T-shirts. Of course he is. Then the thing in Iran, I don't care how you look at it. him daddy he's selling daddy trump t-shirts of course he is then the thing in iran i don't care how you look at it i think that's pretty gay like i don't like doing israel's dirty work israel sorry harley cover your ears real quick i see i see american i see like

senators talking and they have an israeli flag. I'm doing bro. You don't get that. You don't need that there. Yeah, you don't need that. The reason they're there is because they have that there is the bigger problem. Yeah. Our politicians are clearly being blackmailed and bribed to do things that aren't in our best interests. And a pack of only the true standard that is I know all that. I hate all that. And then there's the Palestinian thing I hate all that and I get it get it get it get it but the Iranian strike makes a lot of sense

He like and the way he described it is perfect. He's like we went in we were in the country for 45 minutes We dropped what we dropped whatever 12 bombs shot 25 tomahawks Then we left and it's over and they say it's over and we say it's over. And then he gets the ceasefire, which might stick. If the ceasefire sticks and he and this actually ends what he's calling the 12 day war for some reason, then it's a win. It's good. How is it not a win? It is. Yeah, I'll acknowledge.

It's a win if he actually does create peace in the Middle East, but I'm skeptical. We can. He came out. He came out and he bombed bombed Iran and the, but I just didn't like that right after he was like, yo, we did it. Shout out to Israel. Right now he's, he's the guy with the mission accomplished banner behind him, but I've seen this movie before. Well, 100% like I'm on your team with us.

Yeah. The reason I say it's over is like the Iranians called us and we're like, hey, we're going to have to respond. So we're going to shoot at your base in Qatar in three and a half hours. So make sure your Patriot missile batteries are pointed to the north again. 930 935 PM general. Yeah, that's when we launched them that they'll be there at 10 15 PM. Okay, good deal. But you guys, you guys are like but but you have to pay us back for what we're going to shoot. Oh, they know we'll pay for our own missiles to be shot at ourselves. How much those arrow missiles that the Israelis are shooting are so the Israelis the Iron Dome is free to them. They have I think it's like three years of Taylor's salary. Yes, you're right. Three million dollars.

You're absolutely right. It's like seven layers of protection. The Iron Dome is like one of the lower ones. It's the ones that's like the little rockets that are curving around and catching stuff. But they've got like David Sling and Arrow, like two and three or three and four or something. Those go into space. Those are anti missile rockets that go into space and shoot down ballistic missiles that are go into space. Those are anti-missile rockets that go into space and shoot

down ballistic missiles that are still in space and those cost three million dollars a pop. Well, they save seventy five thousand dollar buildings from getting destroyed. Well, well, I mean, they save Israelis from getting hit by by ballistic missiles. It's interesting that, like when that this was happening, ballistic missiles. It's interesting that like when that this was happening has below was like, we're not getting involved. Because I was like, I saw that and I was like, Oh, shit. Oh, shit, I guess. I guess that worked. I guess that worked when they when they did that attack on the pagers and and and and fucked them up because now what they've always wanted Iran to attack and they're telling Iran like now we're

not we're not you know they can't but I was like oh shit like Trump Trump fuck the Houthis up so badly they surrendered I thought they were shooting down really expensive American drones though somehow I thought that I wasn't sure if it was true or not or what I thought it was valid yeah they shot down like six or seven that's gotta be so fucking sick you're who the on the back of like an old Ford pickup with a cow that had no fucking no they shot they're shooting heat seeking missiles from like missile batteries that go on like a silo not from a silo from like a mobile truck or some shit. Just shoot down those predator drones.

We've got an air force guy in our hangout and he was like, yeah, those are like, what will you, those are like Obama's drones. Those are the old tech that we expect to lose those. Those aren't stealth. Those aren't secret. Those aren't like a great at being evasive. They just have a drone watching this drone get shot down to really see the extreme like abilities. Well, million dollar disposable drones, because that's how you went away. Let me. Well, yeah,

I mean, that's not a good idea. But it's worked so far. I feel like I think that's the old school, the old like gin of stuff that's being phased out those predator drones could be wrong. I think that's being phased out those predator drones could be wrong um i think that's what they get what trump killed that iranian general with back in his first term that uh maybe something he shot that fucking that's not what they're right that shot that samurai sword missile at him dude the samurai sword missiles the coolest fucking thing everybody's melting down this week oh this this this bunker busting penetrator

bomb. It's 30,000 pounds of steel. It's traveling 1000 feet per second. It penetrates 300 feet. All right, that's cool. But the other one has samurai swords that come out the side. Katanas. It really does. It has like three or four samurai sword like giant blades it looks like the broadhead from a from a hunting bow and They can kill the passenger in a car and leave the driver alive when I when I was younger I used to all like I I would Hear shit like that and be like fuck man. Yeah, I can't wait call of duty to put that in that's so fucking sick or like I'll like wait, Call of Duty to put that in that's so fucking sick or like, I'll like anything that was more shit.

I was like, Oh, that's fucking crazy, dude. But now that I like go on Twitter and, uh, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll watch, like, I'll see like a funny meme video of something and I click it. And then it goes to the next one and auto plays and it's a drone in Ukraine with AI in it that's like tracking a person super fucking crazy and blowing up. I'm like, all these things look weird. Now I like do some stuff in a game and I'm like, I don't know if anyone's

grasping like what, what, what I do that auto play on Twitter. I am not a fan because it will be exactly what you said, where it's like, I'll be watching a video of like Alex Ovechkin scoring the goal that wins him like the top all time goal scoring trophy in the NHL. And then the next autoplay video will be like a limbless child in Palestine. And it's like, why would you show? I'm clearly trying to watch hockey right now. Why would you serve me this is at my height where I hold my phone to look at it is the

exact height the phone would be at if you were wanting to show someone what's on your phone. So I'll be at the airport in line and I'll be on Twitter and I'll click something. And then I go to the next one. It's huge, greasy tits in like a bikini or something. And I'm like, now like I have like the big iPhone. So I'm like holding a fucking line with tits on it. You know, why is that giant?

Oh, got a titty billboard. Hey, that's the baking guy. I guess he just, I guess he just got off the airport now. He just goes in the fucking lounge now. Yeah, right. Like I don't like Delta. What do you add to your kind of, dude?

Oh, I I. The only thing I've ever enjoyed more than Delta is, uh, um, Virgin Virgin was sick, but they don't fly out of it. Yeah. But that's, but they're, they're, there's a bit, they're a bit fancier. Aren't they? You're like, they're, they're the Virgin is, aren't this a little bit fancier? They like, you know, I never, yeah.

I never been on a Virgin flight. I don't know. I know it sounds silly, but they had this like purplish pink, like magenta lighting that they turn on when it's nighttime. And so the whole first class and they had like plexi class dividers up and like that plexi like reflects the magenta lighting. You're like in a bisexual Twitch streamers gaming room. Yeah, it kind of like that.

But it felt like we were in the future though, is what it felt like. It was like, ah, I'm used to those Delta flights where the seats a little ratty. This is all like really nice. I was in first class too. It seemed to, there was room between the seats, which I hadn't seen with like my seat

and my partner's seat were like separated. And we both had these big, nice recliners. Definitely the nicest airline I've been on. I flew to Italy like two years ago and landing, like practically like leaning forward. Like I had to stand, I probably stood up for two hours of the whole flight walking back and forth. Cause the rest of the time I'm like leaning forward, like just sitting up, everyone's sleeping.

The lights are out. Yeah. It was brutal. Dude, you gotta, you gotta throw, you gotta, you gotta throw it. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like time I'm like leaning forward, like just sitting up, everyone's sleeping. The lights are out. Dude, you gotta throw a fucking fit about that. Right? Dude, I paid for this and you delivered me bullshit coach. Exactly. That's my culture. I call when I was uh, what's that? Oh, it was like 2000 something,

but it is not paid with points. I'm from New Jersey and I won't be convinced that it's Jewish culture to suck it up and not complain. You got me. No, no, no. He was saying the opposite. He was saying that culture to get in their ear. That part of the story, because that goes without saying before the plane even landed, I had the pilot coming in sucking my circumcision scar. Yeah, no, I misunderstood. So what did you get in terms of satisfaction? I got actually just another flight of equivalent. So I and I did use it to fly to Europe again, first class.

But yeah. So I knew it was fine. Like once the flight was over, I'm like, that's okay. You'd be, it's amazing how far the steam deck can carry me. Like since I got a deck, the idea, like if I were to fly somewhere, it might be like 600 bucks, but if I want to fly first class it could be 2000 if you told me hey, I'll pay you $1,200 to sit in this chair and play your steam deck for five hours. I would definitely do that

But if I'm like, can I go piss no? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And in fact, I'll bring I'll bring you the pretzels at some point and a drink if you whenever you want I book Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And in fact, I'll bring you, I'll bring you a pretzels at some point and a drink if you whenever you want I'd look yeah, okay I'm not gonna I'm not gonna spend the twelve hundred dollars extra even even if my channel was not getting views for the last seven years What's that you keep saying two thousand minus six hundred is twelve hundred and I can't get past fourteen hundred Yeah, I mean, yeah I didn't know if I I said 800 or six because that's around the price range anyways. But the point is like 1200 bucks like all shit in this chair for five hours. So the opposite of it paying the 1200 to get the better chair. Nah, because the real appeal, I guess, is that you get alcohol and a meal and I really never drink

on a flight and I rarely care to eat on a flight. So at that point, I'm fucking posted up playing ball. Are the meals good? No good meals. Or is it just good? Is it only good compared to plain food? It's plain food. You'd rather have like chilies than first class airline food. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's like it is plain food. Plain food. You'd rather have like chilies than first class airline food.

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's like it is plain food. It is like. I think chilies and first class airline food are comparable. They're about there. Chilies. Chilies is on a whole new level, dude. Oh, I might be out of date then.

Chilies is like chilies is having a major, a major moment right now. They'd red lobster. They've on up. Well, they have that young black CEO that came into red lobster. Bro, I have a buddy once a week he's calling out. He's like, we gotta hit it. No, give me a break away. Every week he comes by.

He's like, we gotta go to the cheddar Bay because the biscuits are calling. And I'm like, all right, man, let's go. Like, I like your friend, he's like, he like, he can't get enough literally. And the red lobster is not close to me. He drives to my house to pick me up and the drivers both thread lobster. Next time he hits you with that, you should hit him back with a triple. I love it. No, I pay him for the gas and whatever.

And dude, we just try the triple dip with chilies I've been trying to convince him chilies is on par, but he's just he's a cheddar fiend chilies is solid, dude You can get any tiesers Any ties you know what they do a big crisis right now, but they're still putting out that What they do that sucks at chilies now is when you sit down They'll put out that. You know what they do that sucks at Chili's now is when you sit down to get the chips and salsa, you have to like sign in with the app on their thing. And it used to get that the chips and salsa anyways.

Now it's six dollars unless you use Trump has got to shut that down. Yeah, that's the Baron Trump mission. Yeah, we need to get us more for chips and salsa. If you don't use the app, is that the situation? Something that used to be free now is a six dollar thing unless you sign in with the app. Your information. Yeah. Who's not going to sign up. Also, we're not free at Chili's. What chips were always free. Yeah. The chips and salsa.

The basic chips and salsa. Yeah. were always free. Yeah, the chips and salsa were basic chips and salsa. Yeah, it was nothing. Yeah, 100 percent. I'm going to sell them. They got to sell the marks. It's a loss leader for the marks. Wait, when you go to Chili's, you sit down and they bring you a bowl of chips in a salsa. The Chili's that I've always gone to is like, hold on, because I am. I am. I am no chilies novice. Now this is all out of date. It's like 10

years ago, but I have bottomless chips. Yeah, maybe it's regional because I'm not paid for the bottomless chips 80 times. Like this isn't something I think I'm right on. Well, can I tell you something which is weird about this thing is if you buy, which you can, you can buy the chips there. And you can also but that comes with premium dips. So like, let's say if you wanted guacamole, you like guacamole. Okay, so are you eating guacamole or queso out there? I'm getting the regular salsa and I and I order a separate cup for everybody there because I'm getting the regular salsa and I order a separate cup for everybody there because I'm not sharing and I get Pico for me. This is my thing.

Yeah, they're like charge that guy. I love that you're a, I just love the lore that you're a total salsa whore. You have to have your own. There's some about chili salsa though that's real good. It's like, it's got this consistency. It's not hot enough. There's not enough spice to it. Yeah, it was not a spice.

It's a white man salsa. I'm not gonna lie, but you can just go through that stuff. You gotta dump a bunch of hot sauce and then mix it up. I make my own salsa. It's delicious. There's no reason to buy salsa. It is hilarious.

Well, when you're at a restaurant. No, I bring my own salsa. I got a fancy salsa. It is hilarious. You're out of the restaurant. I bring my own. I got a jar. People are talking. If you brought your own salsa to a Chili's, that's the that's the craziest thing you've ever said. I've got it in an old Mason jar that I've got on a sling. Definitely not.

Definitely not. You wear it. You have it in a satchel. You wear your salsa satchel. Bro, I got a stick and bindle with a whole bunch of salsa in it. Like a boss. Yeah.

I was wondering if I was being gaslighted there because I remember also being young and going to Chili's and them bringing chips and salsa out and me not understanding the connection. It might have been like endless refills. I read it much now.

It was, yeah, they did do free, but apparently that was longer and I could have sworn it was more recent and then they switched it in 99 cents and you can get refills. But yeah, apparently the bottomless was important. Yeah. They keep them. But I could have sworn I never I don't know. I guess I'm wrong.

But you're only eating the salsa for a little bit because then the, you know, the potato skin is ordering. This is ordering food. This is food to eat while I order. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I like the Southwestern egg roll. Call me. I wish. I don't. I like Southwest Southwestern egg roll. Call me. I wish I like Southwestern egg rolls everywhere.

They're so fucking delicious. I like I love them. Some sort of Chipotle like mayo sauce. Avocado. Not an item. You get in my country. Very rare. Oh, my God. You hear me? I'm like Canadian. I'm like, my country, my country.

No Americanized Tex-Mex in Canada. I mean, it's delicious. Canadian I'm like my country my Text mechs in the Canada Delicious I love it. There's not black. Yeah chicken in there. It's okay. I Think they like Tex max in Canada, right? Who does I mean? Yeah, I love it, but it's just it is rare to find good spots I think chilies does it right which hopefully get it wrong. I I'll stand by absolutely refused to go to a restaurant and tell them how to make my meal. They can fuck off with that business model. Like what ingredients going in? What do you what do you do here? You don't make food? Why are you

asking me how to make food? I don't I don't go to Chipotle. I'm not down with I'm not down with like I don't like the randomness of like you go to Chipotle and it's like, is the guy behind the counter like going to be your buddy or not? You know, I don't want to go to a restaurant where I got to worry about getting the nice guy. Hook you up with a little bit of an extra steak. The CEO at one point had said that, oh, yeah, if you're unhappy

with the amount of meat you're given, give them the look. He literally said that, Oh yeah. If you're unhappy with the amount of meat you're given, give them the look. He literally said that. And it was like, you want me to physically intimidate giving me more meat. How much is more meat? A little not enough is, you know, what? Not enough. I'm not asking about the meat. I'm asking about the money. How much do they charge for? I don't know. So if you want more, it's like four fucking dollars.

Like, yeah, but but but that's not what he's describing. He's like he's saying like, well, you didn't get it. That's not a full scoop. Yeah, you didn't get your one meat. I feel like I could go the other direction. Be like, all right, we both know meat's four dollars. But why give it to the man? I'll tip you $1.

You could get triple meat out of that. Normally the girls aren't allowed to kiss you on the mouth, but if you really intimidate the shit out of them, like no man, just fucking make it the same way every time. That's why it's always been a strategy that if you ever go to a place and you want double something, you let them lay the groundwork first

and then you tell them it's a double situation. Of course, of course. Yeah, yeah. What I do when I order from Mexican. See, you got a little Jew in you too, Kyle. Oh, I got one better than that. Here's one you're gonna wanna jot down, my friend. When I order Mexican, I change my DoorDash name

to fucking Enrique Sanchez or some shit. So when I order from like, one of those Mexican groceries. That's a next level move that I could really get behind. I'll get Mexican from like a Mexican grocery that's owned by a family and they have like the restaurant in the back. And they said, oh, a fucking amigo

needs some enchiladas boys. They'll fucking double meet your ass up. They'll add jalapenos on the side. There'll be all sorts of like accessories, like extra cups of salsa and crema. Like it's the move. I do it for every group. I do.

You should do this thing with Chinese and yeah, yeah, you exactly. You have to accept Chinese name. Indian. I tried that, but I'm Patel. My name is ping pong and they gave me less rice. So I did something. Qing Chong McChiki. Yeah, for some I think they shat in my food. I think I fucked something wrong. Look, Ching Chong McChinky.

For some reason, I think they shat in my food. I think I fucked it up. Okay, guys. Hey, come on, guys. I want the Chinese restaurant. Come on, guys. I went to a Chinese and nasty. If I were to ever get on SNL, you fucked it up for me.

I went to get the, got the host. So now you're good. You can say whatever you want about Chinese people. Oh, well, in that case and the and for the people at home that are the audio listeners, I pretended to bring my fingertips up to the corners of my eyes. Oh, my God. Is that what you just said? Yeah.

What do you do? I would do said? Yeah. What do you guys want? I was just joking. Yeah. I went to a Chinese restaurant way back in the day with my girlfriend and her dad and we, my girlfriend at the time, we walked in there and we're looking at the menu. And there's like a whole bunch of the usual suspects, General Tso Chicken and Chow Mein and all that stuff. And then on the other side are all these items that are written

in Chinese. And I see people there and there's a group of Chinese people there and they have like this big ass bowl with like fucking sick noodles in it. She just looks sick. I want that. But I'm looking at the other items and they're all, you know, the usual suspects.

None of them are that. And I know that, but I want that. And so when he asks us what we want And I know that, but I want that. And so when he asks us what we want, I'm like, Oh, what's this whole side of the menu, the Chinese writing. And he was like, you can't read that. And I was like, no, he's like, then it's not for you. Oh, and I remembered being like, I, if I were to ever learn

Chinese, it's only for that menu type shit. It's just for that. Yeah, man. But like, what do you mean? Oh yeah. Well, It's just for that. Yeah, man. But like, I have to say off. What do you mean? I live with me. Oh, yeah. Well, this is not for you.

And I can't fuck up and left. I'm not paying for it. But I live in like a state of their fucking smell. Great. My whole area is fucking Asian. And like sometimes I'll get door dash. And one time they brought me the wrong food from the Chinese restaurant. And man, when you get the wrong Chinese food from like the authentic Chinese place, you're like, what the fuck?

It's it's literally just bones in water. I'm not even going to drive in a soup because it's not. It's not just bones. What's so funny is these restaurants that have fire Chinese food, it's all Chinese people working there. restaurants that have fire Chinese food, it's all Chinese people working there. Yeah. The type of food that white people order is not good for you, really.

Not good for you. And it's, you know, like a comfort food and the, the food that they consume there is still eating out, so it's not great, but it is like so much better than the nuclear super shiny Chinese food that we all like to eat. And the, a lot of times that I've had authentic Chinese food, I'll see something and I'll be like, Oh, this looks good. And I'll expect it to taste one way and it'll taste like nuts and fish instead. And I'm just like, I didn't expect that. Something's a little too far for me, but I'm always down to try. But these days I love dim sum, Chinese food.

The fish head is for the oldest woman at the table. Like they get that the best part. They get to eat the fish's face. Yeah. But, and also chicken feet, boiled in water and made into a soup. Beautiful. Dog treats. Jesus. Fuck. No cheese. No, they don't fuck with cheese at all. Cheese. And I only like, uh, the only super authentic Chinese place anywhere near me is Probably ten miles away and they are all Chinese immigrants and when I've gone there it's only been with my buddy and his wife who is from China, so she speaks Mandarin and The wallpaper on this place is clearly them doing their best to seem American. And so it's like signs from New York where it's like,

it's a Broadway and it's like just pictures of pictures, but they didn't spend the money to get a large portrait. And so it's just small tiles of the exact same signs over and over and over around the whole restaurant. And like when I went up to a guy and was like, Hey, can I get a diet Coke? He was like, no. I was like, all right, so I had to go back to my friend's wife and have him ask. Coke from Chinese people. We talked about this, Taylor.

Circle back. It was fantastic. It was. It was a Chinese food. He has a sharp sense of it. I've ever had. He's like, hey, we got a guy out there. He's like, I think it's time we show him that we know dumb.

He think we dumb. He think we dumb. We know dumb. Like, I'm not a particularly large person. Like, I'm we dumb. He think we like we know dumb. Like I'm not a particularly large person. Like I'm normal size. But I was the biggest person in that restaurant by a lot. They were all very, very aware of it. And almost every single table spoke about it for a moment, at least.

Look at they must have. Hmm. Okay. They must have. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, they do that. Really hot. Oh, you want sugar chicken, sugar chicken and come right off. They actually thought you were. No, I got the I got the extra spicy fish and it was fantastic.

And they actually do what a lot of China American Chinese places don't do, which is they don't leave the peppers on it. Like those dried out peppers, those chili peppers. You want that left on the dish because it tastes so good. But this is the only place that does it. You go to fucking PF Chang's or some Americanized place. They really don't. Yeah.

They call it a bit for the American palette. When I was in Toronto, I came to realize that the best Chinese places were, they weren't places like, like, uh, you know, uh, Jade palace. It wasn't places like that. It was places that had names like, uh, like when there's seven fat, they did it's like whoever came, wait, they didn't know. They did not localize the name that that translated from, and it didn't matter. And the sign that it just,

and those were the places where you're like, Oh yeah. Yeah. And these types of places, like, you know, it's good. I know it's good when, uh, like, uh, a Chinese woman comes out and I'm doing the thing and I'm like, Oh, can I get an extra sauce? And she's like, No, there's enough in there. Like that's shit that they'll tell you. They'll be like, you've had enough. They'll tell you that shit. You know what I mean? You got like a soda. I've ordered like a second soda and they're like, too much, too bad. And I'm like, okay, ready for me? But they like it's, and that's how I knew like, going to like in China, they Chinese,

some Chinese tradition, they celebrate the hundredth day of the baby. And they make a big deal of, and I've gone to a couple where I've come to realize is like, you know, Chinese people are fucking partying when they got soda at the table. I saw in front of every plate was like a can of sunkist orange and they were popping off that night.

I guess like actual I play games. I play games with Freddie Wong a lot and I'll be like, I'll be like, yeah, I'm about to fucking smoke this fatty before we go online. He's like, dude, I'm cracking open a triple cola. Like he's serious about his soda. He always clowns me for drinking the sugar free sodas. He's always like, you could do that if you want to live a lie.

Have you ever even heard of triple cola? You familiar? No, even heard of triple cola? You familiar? No, no, never heard of it before. I just dying to try it. Is it good, Kyle? You I've never had it. Oh, you just wear Asian cola. Triple Cola.

Is this an American cola that they like? Or is this an Asian cola? Bro, you think Asia is going to triple cola something one cola? So it has all the taste refreshment and caffeine necessary for an uplifting attitude Big dubs with your gamer boys, I don't think anything like this Coca-Cola nobody's gonna beat coca-cola at that. Nobody's gonna beat Heinz at ketchup. Nobody's gonna beat Dukes at mayonnaise. Like there's some things that don't try to fuck with

Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I'm ketchup out of everything on that list. Like I do very much love Coca-Cola and I don't like Pepsi, but I'm so much more comfortable having a Pepsi than having a ketchup. That's not Heinz. Like the ketchup has to be, it's I hate when I go to a restaurant that I love and everything's great. And when I asked for ketchup, they give it to me in some dish. And it's like you assholes don't need to be back there making your fucking ketchup. Like I shouldn't even be ordering this.

So like who's out here? Should be grotesque on the table. That wants that particular fancy ketchup. I hate that. I hate it. They can fool me. Real homemade. If they bring like a ramekin of hunts, catch up. I'm probably fooled by that.

But I have to get out. Yeah, I have to support the hunts out. Like, Hines is clearly the superior. Yeah. I'm going to pick up some triple cola. You should. You're getting it on Amazon. That's where he gets it. There's this grocery store and

Where is it? Well, basically LA and all it is it's an old guy who he just loves soda so fucking much that he made an entire Grocery store for soda and he has every fucking brand and then he brews his own It's called galco's so I'm gonna get some triple cola from that weird old guy. I'm very excited. I think it's is it called Big Red? Maybe the one in Texas, the soda. Yeah, it's like one of the number one sodas there. Yeah, Big Red is Big Red soda supposed to be because it's not like even a flavor.

It's semi cream. It's semi cream flavored. It's like a cream cherry. I think I thought it tasted like strawberry crush, which you They do a blue one as well and it's called blue. Yeah. Yeah, I just remember you guys Small Texas gas station buying fucking gas station sombreros and and big blue Every restaurant every restaurant dr. Pepper and big red And I actually like that about Texas, because I love Dr. Pepper. My dad wore that fucking oversized sombrero with zero shame the whole trip.

Do that. That part of that really is like, here's my son had he look like you, somebody stamp. Do you know, There was one summer. So my my dad ran a Domino's pizza and it was the year Surge came out and they gave us all this surge merchandise. So there was one summer where I wear a surge T-shirt like every single day. It was this huge tie dye green thing and surge tasted like dog shit. I have no idea why they thought Serge was going to catch on.

It's because it had so much caffeine in it. Yeah, that was like early. It was like early 2000s. Like it's the name of the game. Like Xbox. It had a great dude. It had a great design. Like it had great marketing, but it tasted like shit.

It was like Mountain Dew, but even more edgy was kind of like the marketing campaign, but it tasted like Mountain Dew. It didn't have enough carbonation. Do you know why Dr. Pepper comes in a can? No. Well, because after Dr. Pepper during Operation Paperclip was taken to America, they had to reformulate his Nazi cola into something that would be more palatable

for the American tastes, is that correct? That's fancy, right? That's true. If it didn't come in a can, it would fall over. No, no, Dr. Pepper. He was a Nazi doctor, Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper comes in a can because his wife's dead. He worked in the camps.

It's actually not Dr. Pepper, it's Dr. Pet-er. Yeah, yeah, her. Wait, what was it, Harley? Why does it come in a can? Dr. Pepper comes in a can because his wife is dead. Oh my God. Oh! Bam!

Okay, okay, I didn't know. I was really trying to put pieces together where I was like, a Vito said operation paperclip. That's where they stole those German scientists. This is a 100 year old joke apparently. Him and Dr. Scholl both came across from fucking operation paperclip.

Dr. Scholl operated on Jewish children's feet to discover the perfect arch. Yeah, you see all those shoes at Auschwitz? That was his work. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That was the work of his experiments. It's why you get the Dr. Scholl's insoles and it's perfect,

because he mutilated, you know, just the shoes. Haste! Or some good thing good! Well, I'm just saying, some good came out of it. Well, that doesn't even make sense. Why would you mutilate someone's feet if you're trying to make an insoles? Because to make the perfect shoe, yeah's feet if you're trying to make

eggs to make it all to achieve the perfect Aryan arch Taylor dr. Shrol yeah true I read that he did good work that's true that's in books. Yeah. People are saying probably. I'm still laughing because you're talking about the ketchup, like the ketchup at the restaurant. And it reminded me of that clip from fucking vacation where Eddie has made homemade ketchup and it's just fucking salsa. It's gross. Clark's like, oh, real homemade ketchup.

Only the best, Clark. I love those fucking movies. Yeah. Christmas vacations. When you see how ketchup is made, it's so much more sugar than you imagine being in it. Yeah. I think it was originally something to do with the rotten tomatoes, the overripe dying tomatoes and they just put vinegar

in tomatoes and mixed them up or something and that was ketchup. But it was awful for you so they needed to make food and safety standards around ketchup. A lot of the early sauces were meant to cover up the taste and smell of rancid meat because it was in a time before refrigeration. A1 steak sauce and Worcestershire, like things like that, those really strong flavors. Do you use A1? Nice, Tyler. I use A1 on a cheap shitty steak.

Like if I get like grocery store sirloins, little A1 on that. Waffle house. Sure. I got a buddy who always uses A1 and I always give him shit for it. I'm like, you can pour a bunch of fucking raisin sauce on your steak.

Dude, it's good. Do you know how that steak tastes in like raisins? Wait, it's raisin? You know what I even do? I want my fridge to the other door. It, it's good. All that steak tasting like raisins. Wait, it's you know what I even do? I want raisins. Really? It's straight up raisins for dude. There is nothing wrong with a one on a level, but I didn't know it was raisins.

That's fascinating. There's tomato in there, but I think it's the raisin is the overwhelming flavor profile. I know. I love a one. I'll walk by the fridge and like get a little on my finger. Tomato puree, marmalade, and raisins. Can you ever just pour some raisins on top of a steak? No, but now I will. That's insane. It's fucking tasty. It's fucking tasty. And yeah, no, I do like it.

Yeah. What? I got a different result than than you. No, no. You look on the bottle. It says it has raisin puree. No, a one does not have raisin puree based on the a mom that I trust fully from Woody. Well, is that got a different answer? Hey, this guy besmirching the great a one a one sauce in the U.S.

includes tomato puree, raisin paste, spirit vinegar and corn syrup. So you're looking at it once once two AIs disagree with each other in the future. Like Wikipedia is telling me the fact that is a that is a Google AI answer. Zach, there's no way. Zach fucked up. I'm I'm on Wikipedia and it says that it does have raisins. Yeah, I just I just clicked on it and now I'm trying to find where it is.

That's the great a one mystery was solved becauseet or a ribeye at a fine steak restaurant, then yeah, that's trashy. But if you're specifically said, if you're fucking flavoring up a sirloin you get no, there's nothing wrong with that includes in Canada. It includes raisins in the US. It includes raisin paste. Yeah, I think that's literally right in China. It's saying it was a key ingredient since 1820 because raisins contain anti-arx.

Oh I was talking about from before. May have helped mask the rancid flavor of spoiling meats. Oh yeah you know what I love steak I could eat steak every single day and I could eat steak with that sauce even a shitty steak Like sometimes we just want this though. Sometimes I want this, something like that. Here's my point. I want to, I want to yum yum sauce is, is the most delicious sauce I've ever had though. The name is perfect. It's mostly mayonnaise. Like, like I know it's mostly mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise and whatever they add to it

makes it super mayonnaise. It makes it super China mayonnaise. Whenever I get hibachi, they send two fucking giant cups of that shit and I have to pour it out into the trash so that if I were to just like sit it by the sink, I'd go back in there later and get it. I have to pour out that 400 calories worth of sauce and then go eat my shit with some sriracha on it

because I want it so bad. I want it so bad. That's my favorite sauce. Do you ever trick yourself by like dipping your fork in it? No, I can't. Just as a small coating and then you eat? No, it's it's it's like alcohol to an alcoholic. I know if I start on that shit, I'm going to eat it all because it is delicious. It is sweet and savory and it goes pretty

fantastic with the fucking meat and rice like with the rain I would soak the rice so much with the yum yum sauce that it would be like like like like oatmeal or something You know what I mean? Like it would be wet rice now. I want that so bad right now. Yeah me too So you sold me you sold me I'm going to Chile's baby Either that or I'm hitting up the Cheddar Bay Biscuits are fresh and the women are disgusting Filthy

I can stand All right, let's do the rest without. All right. I will keep going. Five hours. I don't know why I said that. You guys are doing the bonus hour. Oh, next. You're doing bonus hour. Taylor vacation bonus hour.

Don't you love it? Yeah. Oh, good. Vacation here. I'm not desperate to go to bed right now or anything. I've been like in the sun since 8 a.m. I know since 6 a.m. Taylor tomorrow sunscreen. I will prop I will put it on. Get you a sun hat.

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