Painkiller Already - PKA 765: What Taylor Kept From His Marriage

Episode Date: August 16, 2025

PGA 765, just the boys this week, Taylor. This episode of PCA is brought to you by Blue Chew, lock and load, our wonderful, wonderful merchandise. Kyle, how are you? Any news from across the pond? Oh, oh my God. We're talking about this a little bit earlier. Just the, look, I know we got our own. The National was real four minutes ago. I knew we had to lead with it or you'd lose it. We've got our own problems here in the USA, okay? I'm not blind to the crumbling nature of our democracy at times.

But look, we do four-year cycles of this shit. We'll be fine in three years. It'll go so far back the other way. We'll be talking about, it's too early to start dropping slurs, but you know, it'll come back. But in the UK, they're never going back. They've been going the same direction for,

I don't know, since 17, 80 or so. Like, Jesus Christ, they're going door-to-door, taking everybody's ninja swords, I read. Like, they're confiscating swords. They can't, it's enough that they, I remember they chopped up all the guns forever ago, the

NRA was using that footage as commercials for years just chop sawing just chop sawing over and under like fancy shotguns that only like some rich gentleman would have shot. No one would have ever mugged you with

a $8,000 or 12 gauge shotgun like that doesn't happen but they're just like this is freedom chopping them up and then I hear they're taking all the fucking ninja swords now because I guess you guys can't be trusted with blades over there. I wonder what the length is. Like, are they limiting you to four inches at home?

Dude, have you seen the old meme picture, probably from like five years ago now that went viral? It was like the, you know, Scottinghamshire Police, or like, you know, their names over there. And it was like, today's hole, keeping the straight scyfe, rova. And then it was like 11 real knives, half of which were barely pointed. and, like, the most utilitarian, like, this kind of stuff that Woody would carry around to be like,

oh, I've got a little task that this works. And then there was one spoon in the picture. Just one spoon in it. Charmed at all. Was it a shank of some sort? Some guy was just carrying a spoon around, and they're like, no license for that, bro. And then it's like, and so that was memeed for a long time.

Are they confiscating them or are they just letting people turn them in? They confiscate them if they find you with, like, a knife. They have, like, a whole movement over there. It's legal to carry some knives, but Kyle said they were going door to door, and that was the part I wanted to know if it was true. Yeah, you can't have them at home. Yeah, they're coming to taking your ninja swords because there was not a problem of people carrying ninja swords in the street.

There might have been one guy, all right? Like Leonardo might have ruined it for everybody. Like, I could understand that happening, but there was not some rash of people walking the streets with katanas in the UK, I'm sure. But, yeah, they're confiscating the ninja swords. And then I saw today. I don't know. They got a lot of Leonardo's over there.

knife crime is up 87% in the UK that's so that's that seems what's sword crime at you know what I mean like like because that's the thing like like and that's what what always happens like oh knife crime's up we better but sword clock crime has plummeted they just change the definition it's ridiculous to take people's swords away I guess what happened is July 29th of last year. So just a few days more than a year ago, Alex Ruda Kubana attacked a Taylor Swift themed children's dance event in the English town of Southport, killing three girls and stabbing 10 people. This is like they're just trying to copy our school crime. I think that. Where's that guy from? But it's not

Nottingham. Alex Rubba Duba. You know, Alex illegal immigrant from Africa is his last UK teenager. He's a British. He's from England. What's his name? I'm going to paste it to you because I'm not literate, I guess. How would you pronounce that?

Axel. Ruda Kubana. Ruda Kibana. I don't know where I got Alex. I made that part up. What kind of fucking name is Ruta Kabana? I just, I'm not sure if that's a class. There is nowhere to know.

Yeah, that's ridiculous. They can't even have knives. That sucks. I saw, like, it was a clip of some British news lady, like, it was like an onion sketch, if it were in the U.S., but it was them, like, sitting around and earnestly talking about, like, I think Idris Elba was there. They were like, you know, there's just no reason to have points on knives. And now are we Australian because it's easy yet, but, you know, there's no points on knives.

Look at these beautiful knives without points on them. And it was like, really? Like, so now people in the kitchen have to have a bunch of bread knives to slice meat and everything. Like, believe it or not, knives didn't become pointed just randomly. They didn't go, this is easier.

It's actually more functional when you're trying to cut things. And so it's like to be a country where they're like taking L's to that degree. That sucks. Well, they're doing that thing in the parks where they have the female police officers dress sexy and run.

And if, anyone cat calls them they I think they're writing them tickets but they might be arresting them no it's not against the law they just talk to them and embarrass them cat calling isn't against the law but they're like I don't want to say legal authority

and they have to embarrass you got a nice epidemic and they're fudson around two women go jogging I read about this one too and if anyone cat calls them they like tell on them and then the police are like what are you doing here they pull them over and they talk to them

Well, I was trying to get pussy until you showed up, until you tricked me. Is it illegal to have no game now? Did some, some poor guy who is so socially awkward, so lonely, he finally is like, today's the day, I approach a woman and talk to her. And then he's like, evening, ma'am, do you jog here off? And then now he's like giving an interview. Poor guy. That's what I think's happening.

The knife thing's weird to me. it just seems like it's calling's weird it's all weird no no no the fact that they have an issue with knives I can't wrap my head around these are like ordinary tools to me like if someone had a

I don't know a reciprocating salt or fork or a knife and they're like no no the knife thing that's bad I get that they have a lot of knife crime but it's a useful utensil that I use every day and to like

And I know I said utensil, but, like, outside of, like, opening boxes and I don't know, the fucking reset button on the, on every router you have, like, the factory reset. Like, that's the stuff I use my knife for. And it's weird to me that someone would ever think that that was eligible to be outlawed. They're very stabby over there. They don't have any guns, so they get after it. I'm sure you've seen that video of the two guys having a machete fight in the street. and one of them has like a classic machete it looks like you'd go into Mozambique with

and cut some hands off and then the other one's got some modern like zombie slayer version and they have it out in the street slicing each other up. It's wild. It just feels like it'd have a lot more to do with the guy holding the machete than the machete he chose. Was one better than the other?

Yeah, the one guy's machete broke right away. The zombie waiter? And I thought, I was thinking like maybe the guy who still has a machete, he would be like, all right, mate, see your machete, he's broken there. Let's, uh, let's go back to fisticoffs. But no, he's like, you're in trouble now. Like, he just comes harder.

I am not interested in why or how your machete book. Goal forward and slatch. I feel like you need to bring a katana to a knife fight. Right? That would give you a huge advantage. They can't have that anymore. And who's going to turn their katanas in? some weird weeboo.

Like if you have a katana and you're wanting to slice people up and they're like knocking on your door like, hey, can we have your, can we please have your katana? You're going to be like, nope, no katana's here. No katana's here. You've got the fucking mask on just your eyes. You can see the handles over my shoulder. What those handles for? Nothing.

You want to walk in here and find out with your fucking cushioned billy club pussy? What are you going to do back up from another guy with no gun? I don't understand that country. Every time I see them in the news, and maybe it's just, like, bad news. It's them being neutered further or just replaced. They're being neutered and replaced in the UK is what it seems like. They're just allowing millions of people to immigrate to their country. A lot of knife wielders in the mix, turns out.

Well, not anymore. I've got their knives out of their hands. of their culture. They're training with the art of the steel and the blade. Ridiculous. I think it's the locals. I know it's the locals. They've been doing knife shit, those British gangs. Somehow they don't seem intimidating to me, although I'm sure they'd

kill me. This Alex guy was a local. Stab, what, 10 people at a children's dance recital? I need a picture of this Alex guy, Axel guy, because his last name is Rudy Kubano. So I'm just wondering if Rudy Kubano was Oh, he doesn't look like a local. I might be wrong. Yeah, you're totally wrong. His name is Rudy Cabana. He's from...

I bet he was screaming Allah Huacbar while he stabbed the children. He said he was British in every article. Yeah, but that's like how they write that to make you think it's not like a very easily identifiable problem. Oh, yeah. It's like there was that kid in Britain who killed some people. Like maybe he murdered some girls or something. And when they made the Netflix documentary, they made him a cute little white boy. Oh, there he is. That guy says, I've done it and I'll do it again.

That's a stabbers grimace. Jesus, he looks like he's a member of the Kazon Ogla. I don't know what that is. The group of stabbers? Yeah, the people who know, no, that's all that matters. For real, he's got Kazan Ogla hair if you're listening. Yeah. No, he was born in England.

Yeah. So he's a, I know what more you need than to be born there, like generations back to be a little. You might want to talk to Donald Trump about that one. He could, he could straighten you out on that little. That little inaccuracy. Kyle, this is the kind of guy that was fighting the French. You wouldn't say this if he was white. This is a thousand percent because the guy's black.

Yes, that's exactly why I'm saying it. Because he's black. He's from Wales. I'm saying it because his name is Ruka-cabana, and he murdered children with a knife in the street. He went to the Taylor Swift Festival. Such a gentle, fun place. And in his bugshot, he looks like the devil.

That's why I'm saying it. He could be green. Like, it's not that. It's all the other things. I couldn't care less about his skin tone. It's all the other things. The skin tone just happens to be a commonality with those things most of the time. Anyway, England, get your shit together.

Give everybody knives. What you need is a good guy with a knife in all those situations. A good guy with a blade. A catat. Maybe a Claymore, perhaps. That would be more culturally relevant to them, one of those giant two-handed swords. by Eldon Dreams. Yeah, like, what's his name?

Braveheart, what he was swinging around, fucking people up with. William Wallace. Yeah, William Wallace, taking like three heads off at a time. You get one good guy with a Claymore, trained correctly with the Claymore. He can shut that down, easy, pizzy. Power stancing great swords. I could be convinced. Yeah, 100%. They won't let them have guns.

At least, like, put some big galute out there in armor and a sword. Like, they already have, like, pretend old-timey guards. It's not a difficult transition. I don't know. They should never should have got rid of guns. Seems like that would solve this, right?

Of course it would. I don't know why they would definitely use different weapons. You can eliminate the knife crime immediately. Their cops not having guns is absurd. Because I have no respect for you if you don't have a gun. What are you going to do with me mean?

You're going to hurt my feelings? What are they calling Bobby's or whatever? Like get the fuck out of here. Got a whistle and a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, club. Oh, is that what they call the club, a Bobby? Or is that what they call a cop? I thought they were a cop. I thought I had the idea that they call them cops. They call the cops Bobby's, but that, that may be wrong. I think they can use the radio to get people with guns. I wonder what the response time is for that.

Probably not as good as if they gave him a gun. But it needs to be like 90 seconds. Surely, that's a high bar. I will disagree, but like, in 10 minutes, I'll suck your dick. They're not coming. are you sure all right does anyone know the combination to the gun safe

where's Richard like that's what would happen like I've seen their gun cops show up to like I think maybe like their terrorist attacks and stuff like I've seen the gun cops show up and they don't show up with pistols

they seem to show up with like real deal SMGs and shit they look hardcore like it's like a SWAT team but every cop should have a gun I don't know how you can be a law man without a gun I googled it. It wasn't the answer I was hoping for.

They have something called a authorized firearm officer, and they can get there in 10 to 20 minutes. So that should take care of things. Dude, if... Eventually. I can't imagine how quickly I'd be getting tired, getting chased by a knife wielder, and I know I've got like 13 more minutes of cardio.

I need to bang out. No, Taylor, run toward the store. station! To all the police station! You know how I get lost. Meanwhile, Ruta Cabana there, he's got great cardio. I just turn around and open myself up

like Obi-Wan. It's drag me down. This will only make me more powerful than you can ever imagine. Okay, that was a miscalculation. These guy's not very good with the blade. What are you going to do? Stab me? Yeah. yeah that sucks they need to bring the guns back to their police if you're going to let them

police other shit they should probably be trustworthy enough for a gun right otherwise they're just like they're just a neighborhood watch like hey if it gets real i'm going to call someone you better believe it and it's not like they're extra well trained physically like you would i would say this if i were going to create a if i were going to take our police force and disarm them I'm like, all right, first thing we got to do, we got to, y'all got to get good at fighting, like, real good at fighting. And, like, we're going to need a net guy. We're going to need somebody with a stick. We're going to be all sorts of new training, but they're just like, no, let's take the guns away and send, like, a girl and a guy in to deal with some big bruiser with a, with a katana in his house.

Go disarm that guy. Send a social worker in. Send a 23-year-old girl social worker in to talk down this guy. That's just not the answer. Like, when you go so far to the left to try to protect the criminals that your law-abiding citizens or live in fear, you've gone too far to the left. Like, we may be too far to the right. The military is in Washington, D.C. and standing in front of the Washington Monument right now for no reason. There's nothing for them to do there.

Security theater. Security theater, sure. But, you know, it's, you know. I hear they are scooping up a lot of hobos and homeless types, you would imagine. I know that they've got the military and the law enforcement are working together, and I'm sure they're sending anyone they get that's not supposed to be here out of the country. I don't mind what they're doing with the scooping up of the hobos. We were talking about that two or three weeks ago that needs to be done.

I hope they do St. Louis next. No, they're going to go to a Democratic city next. It'll be coincidentally. But no, I heard them say that, like, there are. all the cities are democratic state then not all but you're right most of them are yeah like Houston comes to mind

I think he's Republican but I think Kyle's right he only names Democratic states when he talks about what's next well once he's done with all that shit get it get him to fucking St. Louis in Kansas City and Memphis because it's pretty real here we do need to do something about the homeless

but I don't think the catching them is like the primary that's not the hard part. It's the putting, it's where you put them after you catch them, right? You can't just keep them in the police car the whole time for the rest of their lives. There needs to be some sort of rehab facility, mental health facility. So the statement on DC, maybe Bondi or somebody, they're like they have the, they can leave, they can accept drug treatment and mental health facility treatment, or they will be subject to arrest. And I was like, perfect, perfect. Just do what you say now. Just do that now. Just actually do it instead of.

of all the fucking, you know, blustering and false promises, like, actually fucking do it, maybe do it? Yeah, we'll see. But, but they need, we need to do something about the homeless, but again, it's just distraction theater, you know, nonstop to try to get away from the Epstein stuff anyway. Like, I hear, what was the last thing? I was going to, we're going to take a look at reclassifying marijuana. What are we taking a look at?

Haven't you seen enough? Like, what new research needs to be done? Well, Kyle, you know, the largest pharmaceutical companies have to run some analysis and see how much they're going to lose on painkillers and then pay a consummate amount of money to the people who would block this. Trump, Trump's, you know, Trump can just sign an executive order and reclassified, I believe. Or he can order Pambondi rather to declassified, I think. Biden did something about reclassifying marijuana.

It always seems like it's not done. Like, what kind of half step did he take? They all do like bullshit lip services where it's like, we're going to do this about marijuana and it's like, oh, awesome. So it's legal. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what we meant at all. It's actually just a way to get you robs off of our ass for three days. Taylor, rest of sure, we're thinking about forming a committee. Everything's fine. Yes, we're in the perspective stage. D.C. It's pretty legal because I saw, I was following the crackdown in D.C. and the cops were sort of hassling these guys who were sitting on a stoop and they were taking their weed away. And he's like, you can have that weed. you can have three ounces of weed and then you just give him an ounce and now you don't have three ounces you got two ounces that's fine too but you can't smoke it out here

and I was like that seems fair enough that seems fair enough that seems fair enough we can have two ounces and we can smoke it but just don't smoke it right here in front of me on your stoop that seems fair two ounces is a lot two ounces is so much weed

what would that look like a human head it depends if it's if it's loose no not a human head If it's loose, it's two decent size Ziploc bags full Like the kind you would put a sandwich bag Two sandwich bags stuffed little balloons Okay

Yeah For like personal use If it's just like you and a girlfriend Or something smoking that That is like the weed is going to crisp up And be dry by the time you're like finishing the end of it That's a ton I get through

I thought you bought it crisped up and dry No Hopefully it's a little bit moist Still got a little life in it It was picked recently but like if you let weed just sit around for a while like I have some weed that I bought right when weed got legalized here

like within that first few months and I just didn't like that kind it was like a sativa and too much of an just a sensation I didn't like and so I still have it just sitting over there and now it's like it's like kindling just crispy like if you roll it between your fingers

it would like crumble up and fall away from that's undesirable yes totally that would be disgusting smoke The weed that, when you buy wheat, it's going to be, like, if you were to mush and roll the bud in your fingers, it'll be sticky. It'll be gooey in there. Like, you'll get to, even after you've done that, if you've rolled the nug in your, between your fingers real good, when you drop it, you'll look at your fingers and they'll be covered with, like, crystals and pollen and little, little hairs and glue. Like, can you explain why wet weed is better? It just means it's fresher. It's closer in the time of, harvest and it's not quite wet it's just not quite well it is though it is like okay i don't know yeah tobacco's not dry dry it's not so dry it's a little bit moist um it's just not a hundred percent dried out you dry it's it's like harsh and uh i don't know how to describe dry smoke because you might think all smoke is dry but it's a wetter smoke like it's not as harsh

a little steam in there yeah probably exactly probably yeah yeah no You know, you wanted, part of the process is drying it and curing it or whatever, but you don't want it completely dry. Like old weed, like he said, just crumbles away and it's disgusting. I've smoked some old weed before, you know, but it's not desirable. Yeah, you heard Snoop Dogg say to you want that sticky, icky. He would know. He is a subject matter expert, yeah. He smokes more weed than anyone I know.

How long does it take to dry weed? I don't know. I had a friend who I bought weed from. This was probably six years ago now. And his like hobby slash obsession was growing his own weed. And every time I'd go over there, a friend is generous, more of an acquaintance slash drug dealer. Three to four weeks. I would go over there.

And he would like try to give me a tour of all the different kinds of weed plants and things every time I went to buy drugs from them. And I always was like humoring him and being polite. But I just wanted to be like, I don't give a. fuck like the weed you grow is really good i'm here to buy it like i have the weed please but he would always throw a few extra nugs and stuff in so i stuck around for like his little explanations of like and then over here i've got another hydroponic set up in this closet and i want to be like you've shown me every closet in this house and there's no clothes things what the fuck is going on in that back bedroom of yours it's probably a madhouse of clothes strewn about everywhere but

Yeah, I don't care what it takes. I just want people to grow good weed. And I would like if the names of weed weren't as ridiculous. Really? Yeah, some of them are a little too much. It's like, man, this would be fun to try, but I don't want to walk up to this curiously dressed dispensary woman and ask for like the, you know, the molested dolphin.

Some shit like that. No. Can I get the perp sticky, icky, you know bastard blend I like the names I like the names of

I like when it's it's goofy it's big green crack and Skywalker O.G like I like that it's got silly quirky pop culture names

it is just funny though because everyone working at those dispensaries you know I'm only there for recreation but there are little like tabs you can select because they make you order

everything on a big automated iPad now and so you walk in and for some reason the iPad, it's just a TV that they've turned vertically and it's like we could get a lot more done with just a bunch of iPads here, but they didn't do that. And so you order there and then you go up to the front and you pay and you do that. But you'll hear sometimes like some guy with, you know,

long hair, long purple hair talking to some 68 year old guy and he'll be like, yeah, if you're like really struggling to see, then like the grape ape is probably where I direct you. And it's an old man's like, oh, okay. That sounds efficacious. It's like, that sounds so silly to be recommending people those things for real problems. When you buy lights for a coral reef fish tank, the reviews on Amazon are like, my fish grew two to three feet tall and they were way more potent than ever before. It's like, I don't. It makes my fish aggressive. That's so funny. You're sitting there scrolling like, son of a bitch, does anyone who may make fish here? just trying to find a relevant review.

Oh, I misunderstood it first. Okay. They're using those, they're using the fish likes to grow weeds. Yeah, the things that would make a coral grow well also make weed grow well. But they use easily decoded codes. I'm trying to think what else I've seen like that, like stuff that you would inhale but you're not supposed to.

They're like, oh, it got my computer so clean. It wouldn't work for days. It just laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling. My computer did. I think my computer's memory is faulty now. All those DIY drugs are ridiculous. Like, there are people who have, like, tried every drug, and they're like, this isn't enough. I need to try computer duster.

I need to try sniffing this glue. And it's like, dude, just stick to a real drug. I don't know. There are kids or losers that are, like, making their. own losers like losers i could help in gas and paint and i would lean almost a bit kids for to what what do you're saying like they're doing whippets like i knew people who did whippets because that was just available and easy at the time like in high school they couldn't you know they couldn't find beer that night or booze or weed i think you can get anything you want i think alcohols for me

like when i was a teenager and i think it's still true my guess is it's still true that it was way harder to get alcohol than any street drug that it would be way easier to get weed or uh or i definitely these days nitrous oxide with the the galaxy gas or uh or any of those like entry level drugs then it would be like a bottle of absolute vodka it's so hard for a 16 year old to get a bottle of vodka you just need a friend with an older brother yeah but but not everybody has a friend with an older brother who's a fucking degenerate who gives 16 year olds bottles of vodka Or would you give a 16-year-old a bottle of vodka?

I'd be so afraid they'd go, like, kill someone in a car accident and wrap me out. Big time shout out. Do I keep the change in this scenario? Oh, yeah. They pay you extra. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's going to be some money on top if I'm going in that store and coming out with the Red Dog, okay? Like, I'm not doing this free. Red Dog. Yeah, that's the cheapest beer I can think of. That's a beer? Red Dog.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure it's called Red Dog. Is it cheaper than Coca-Cola? Oh, it's got to be cheaper than Coca-Cola. Yeah, yeah, Red Dog Beer, I remember this shit. Yeah, it's got to be cheaper than Coke. Coke's expensive. The cheap beer in my day was called Peels.

I don't know if anyone's ever heard of that. The fact that it was cheaper than both Coca-Cola and water was like, what are we doing here? How do you get this low? It's cheaper than water. A 12-pack of Coca-Cola used to be about $5, and now it's, or $3, $5, and now it's $12. Yeah, dude, soda is so expensive. Yeah, I shop those. deals so that I try to find good deals on Instacart and stuff so that I'm because I drink so much soda

or it'll be like buy to get three free sometimes and I'm like I guess give me 60 cases I bought it yesterday and it was $12 for 24 packs for Dr. Pepper Zero and Pepsi Zero and if you bought three you got $4 off so I'm like all right I guess I'm buying 100 fucking sodas I'm hardly following is it cheaper expensive at this point you can find deals to make to make it fairly cheap and get back to the old prices, but if you just walk into the store and you buy a 12 pack off the shelf, it's $11 or $12, which is a dollar of canned Coke, you know? I wonder why it's so expensive. I can imagine the cans got a little more expensive, but how big a piece of the puzzle is that? It's been, I mean, like everything is going to be the last five years

with their profit. No, I think they're profit in a 12 pack. Like that's way more expensive than even like when I go to the nice grocery store. Because Walmart's way cheaper. And if you go to Walmart it's like I want to say like 499 or 399 brands you can get an idea what they're doing to you by looking at the off brand cola and what it costs because it's like they're giving it away it's free it's like it's like yeah I don't know like a 99 cents for a two liter versus like it's it's and I'm not drinking from a two liter all the delicious fizz goes away too quickly you're leaving it around too long you finish you just drink straight out of that big boy that's savage it's gonna be warm if you have a two liter in your

your refrigerator. Would you squeeze the bottle before you put the cap back on? No. No, the opposite. That'd be a mistake. To squeeze the bottle would give the pressure somewhere to go, like make it easier for the pressure to leave the, to come out of solution. So if you want the opposite. If anything, if you had a cap that allowed you to add pressure in, like that would be ideal to make the CO2 stay in solution. If there was a higher pressure and air pressure inside above the liquid. I never thought of it like that. don't squeeze the bottle, but it's because I don't like the aesthetic of a squeeze bottle. Yeah, it looks trashy, yeah. But we don't have any soda in our house.

But if we were to, like as a kid, we didn't squeeze the bottle. Yeah. But I thought like it was a tradeoff, like the aesthetic hit versus the smaller volume of air to take it out of the, I wonder what the... I've never thought about it, but what Kyle, you're saying it makes intuitive sense. So I believe it. It has to be right. right yeah it is right it's just a matter of like expansion and how much it's allowed to expand yeah google says kyle's right i i wasn't sure either way you got to get cans then it's a one-off

have you ever seen um when they're doing like saturation dives maybe not even saturation dives when they're just in a submersible that has a couple atmospheres in it and they'll take the coke and shake the shit out of it and then crack it open and nothing happens i've seen that Yeah, it's air pressure. Yeah, it's keeping the CO2 in solution. Well, I'm going to keep on in-price soda. When you fly an airplane, even though you're at 32,000 feet airitude, the inside of the plane is about equivalent to 8,000 feet,

and that's why the soda wants to spill all over the place. You're at high altitude. Have you seen the potato chip bags get like super hyperinflated when you go to altitude? Same thing. Yeah. We used to like drive back from college. Colorado or somewhere with higher elevation and we'd have like chips in the car and they would like pop in Kansas City if you if you didn't open them beforehand like they would just be like

you know expanded to the gills because wouldn't they expand on the way up not the way down yes when you the the lower the air pressure around you the more of the potatoes you're going to pop Damn it, I didn't expect to get checked on my science there. In a commercial airliner, I think that they've pressurized the cabin more carefully, but I was in a private plane and I just remember all the potato chip bags

looked like they were about to explode because it definitely wasn't pressurized as much. You don't know your altitude, do you? No idea. It was a prop plane. It wasn't a jet. It's probably under 10,000. It's not safe.

You didn't have an auction master or anything. No, no, we were chilling. Yeah. Yeah, just a short haul flight up to... We were chilling. If it started to fail, you know, death was, you know, 8,000... Let's go down. Lower! Oh, sorry about that. Yeah, I forgot you don't have these. It's not like that. It's like, you know what, everything's fine. Like, you know, I'm getting hypoxic. I should probably do something about that later. That's how it feels. Oh, speaking of that, I watched this It wasn't a good movie. I don't even remember this. It's a new movie with Woody Harrelson. The title doesn't matter because it's a garbage movie, but it's a true story about some saturation diversion diversers. They got in trouble. Saturation diversion diversion. They're the ones that go through that pressurization and repressurization chamber shit, and they breed something called heliox. I think it's instead of nitrogen and oxygen, it's helium and oxygen. So they sound silly on their comms? Well, no, because they're down.

under pressure down there. So they sound fine down there, I believe. But it's true story. They lowered this diving bell, and there's three guys in it. One of them runs the bell. The other two go down out of the bell and do their work. And they're working on some thing on the ocean floor. And the ship engines messed up, and the ship started drifting.

And they're connected to the bell, which is connected to the divers. The drivers start getting drug. And one of the guys' cables gets tangled up. and tears apart. So now he's down there with no air and no electricity. He goes, and his buddies,

like just before they get separated, his buddy's like, get back to the top of the platform. We will come back for you. And then he gets like pulled away by the court. Takes him 28 minutes to get back to him.

28 minutes, no, no, no. It takes him like 40 minutes to get back to him. 28 without oxygen. He's laying there having involuntary spasms. They get him in the bell

and brought him back to life. And he was fine. after 28 minutes on the bottom of the floor. Was he alive or fine? He was fine and talking, fine. Like, they revived him. Good for him. Yeah, brought him back in life.

That's way cooler than what David Blaine did. I don't know about that because David Blaine meant to do it, but... That makes it less impressive. This guy was just off the cuff. He thought he was just exploring. No prep. No prep. No prep.

There was also that lady who got, she drowned under the ice. And I think it was also like half an hour that she was dead, you know, just. under the water, under the ice for half an hour, and they brought her up and revived her. I saw a video of these Indian guys and this Indian girl, like, standing next to a very rapidly moving river under a bridge. And they were clearly trying to film something, maybe like her walking out and doing a little po. I don't know what the goal of the video was. But what it ended up being is she falls in the water and she starts moving rapidly. And they're on a small dock.

And there's a guy who's on the, you know, if she fell in on the. right side and the water's flowing left there's a guy on the left side of the dock kind of like with his hand reached out and i guess that was the safety contingency in case she fell in was fucking this guy laying on the dock with his hand out and he misses her and she's like it sounds like it turns out she didn't float down in the two and a half foot window of safety and the water took her a different direction and then like it just kind of shows like she's she's moving so fast and through this dirty river I was like

oh man is this just like this is India they're always like dying in Looney Tunes ways anyway like they just like go back home they are dying in Looney Tunes they're grabbing on the live wires and like having they're having like that Marv from home alone hair sticking out of the

clips sometimes in India without realizing the cliff ended and once they literally they're always driving trains into painted holes on the side of the house I saw it I literally saw a Looney Tunes Indian death the other day.

The guy has climbed his way onto high voltage wires. And you know how it is over there. There's a ton of them. It's like a spider web of them. But he's out on them and he's got a hacksaw and he's sawing the wire. There's free electricity if you're in business. He's

sawing the wire he's sitting on. So when it goes into he plummets. Yeah. And it's like, what was the plan? He was smart. to sit on the wire while he saw that that prevents electric electrocution yeah he keeps from beginning grounded yeah yeah so he died from the fall

he was thinking ahead i mean a little bit ahead not not far ahead have you see like we've talked about it you've seen those entire compilations of like a guy that clearly has access to an iphone like taking a selfie video as a train barrels behind him and they just clips him and just like one of those south park deaths right well i saw So on the other day, and I don't know if it was India, exactly, it might have been Bangladesh. They were all brown and one of those Indian countries, yeah. They were brown and poor, and they were all like, they weren't, they were ghost riding the train. They're on top of the train being silly on purpose.

Like it wasn't poor commuters like you sometimes see. These kids were having a good time and they would, they knew when each bridge was coming and they'd get low. And some of them were like getting low in like fun ways, like bending backwards with their hands out and stuff, like being chill about it. and then one guy doesn't know the route, I guess, and just doesn't duck for the next bridge and he dies right in front of them. He hits the bridge at, I don't know, 80 miles per hour, and he's just laying there bent in half with blood gushing out of his head, and they're just like, oh, no, not again. It's like, yeah, again, yeah, again, you're on top of a moving commuter train.

Who could have predicted this? Getting hit by stuff that doesn't give is so much worse than like, your memory puts it in like ever stand up under something that's too low to stand up under it's like a cabinet door the corner why do i stand up so hard what is excess strength in this situation i cut my head like a month ago i stood up under a cabinet door that was open i was putting dishes away and i'm like bending over to the dishwasher and then standing up to like put the each thing away and the cabinet door is open and the corner of it hit me in the top of the head when i stood up. I bled. I had a scab on my scalp for like a week. And it fucked me up. And it hurt.

I won't be a bitch every time I get hurt. My girlfriend's standing right there. I don't want to be. But if nobody's been around, I'd have screamed. I think you deserve to scream anyway. I went, I went, oh, oh, that one hurt. Oh, this is my family pain. But inside, I'm crying like a little girl they hurt so much and it just kept hurting I'm rubbing it trying to make it and I'm then there's blood and I don't deal with blood well so it's like uh yeah that's how it feels to like fall

on your elbow when you're ice skating and there's just no give and then you have to be like I know guys it's so funny right I just have to I just have to skate really fast that way for no a different reason have you ever fallen really hard on your kneecap or something and it jars the nerves so bad your leg doesn't

work no I've never fucked my knee up that bad I was playing paintball with my dad, and I was running around, like, through the woods, and I tripped and fell on a, and my knee landed on, it's a thing that you put hay bales in so the cows can stick their heads into it and eat the haybell without ruining the haybell. If you just put it on the ground, they, like, trample on it and shit on it. But if you put it inside this thing, they have to actually eat it. And it's just made of heavy steel.

And I landed on that thing with my kneecap, and my leg quit working. My leg wouldn't work. Like, I couldn't straighten my leg. For how long? three minutes maybe like I'm laying there that's showing no mercy he's coming for me

he's flanking around through the woods like firing off shots and I'm laying there help I remember the first time I like cried a lot during a sporting event as a kid was I was probably like eight or nine

and it was being a goalie in ice hockey up to that point was like this is great i'm doing pretty well and then like played one game where i just got shalacked like i was letting in bad goals i was like sad and angry at myself and when you're like that age thinking about you don't you're not in your head thinking like oh you know everybody realizes this is just a little game and we're still going to get pizza afterward and it's okay or we're going to go to red robin or something like in your head you're like everyone on the team hates me they hate me right now they're lost interest in me the blues are no longer pursuing me as a nine year old and you're just like saying like oh the the

coaches are going to hate me i just remember like letting in like just way too many goals and like just being in my crease standing there just being like i'd stop i'd stop crying before the period ends or everyone on the bench is going to see that i'm crying so it's like four minutes left in the period. I'm like, okay, okay, we'll pull together. We'll pull this together. We can do that. Like 17? Yeah, this was, well, this was men's league last week. Dude, as you're saying this, I'm like in my head about how it feels to do poorly in a video game on stream. I'm 52. I didn't even want to be millennia. It's not that mechanically. what they call mechanically, like the actual boss fight,

I do that pretty well because that's the part I enjoy the most practice. But getting lost, I'm like, everyone knows where to go but me. I'm the only one who can't figure this out. There's a hundred people watching it. They all know what to do, but I don't. I've said it before,

but when you're streaming and you're trying to carry on that conversation, your brain is, it's like being drunk a little. Like your brain is not at 100%. You're giving 25% of your brain to that, and it never stops. and the part of your brain that navigates and remembers the steps you took behind you,

it's that part that it took away. I know exactly what you're talking about. Like when I've streamed before, I'm like, I'm usually better than this, guys. I don't know. I don't know. I'm usually better. Like, I'm not great, but I'm better than this.

I'm sorry. I can't talk to you and focus. Like my brain, if I turned you off, I would feel my brain like a, and like get more horsepower. Yeah, you're just sitting there being like, and this is how you do this in this game, and I had to practice this a lot.

By the way, Jizz Eater 49, I'm not gay. I'm not gay, actually, so if you can stop saying that. I'm going to pay touch in the chat. Yeah, sometimes it's rough. I was struggling on some sort of challenge run, right? So I'm doing the same thing like 10 times, just trying to succeed in this challenge.

And this guy's trying to get me on his wrap, album he wants me to like bust out some lines for him and he wants to know how much it would cost right he's willing to pay upwards of like a dozen dollars to get me to do this and i'm like read the room would you it's hard this is not the time to offer me nine dollars to do this you're like frantically dodging there's sweat beating on your forehead you're four hours in trying to beat this boss and he's Dude, you're just exasperated. You're like, we like to have fun here, guys. But we can calm it down with the fucking rap freestyle request. But crying when the hockey thing isn't even a big deal. Nobody probably knew you were crying.

You had that mask on. You're all the way out there on the ice isolated. It was a big deal to me. I cried on the pitcher's mound before. That's rough. You're not wearing a mask. Everyone can see. No, and I'm the center of the game.

The picture runs the game. Everyone is looking at, no one's looking at right field going like, all right, what's he going to do next? No, it's because Kyle has this thing where he hides Pantar up near where you would think he's crying from. And he grabs that. Pied tar, I got Pied tar in my eyes. You think you could pull it off a sweat. Yeah, they would know. Crying out there like a baby.

Or so I was probably like 12 years old or something. Yeah. That's an acceptable age to be crying. 12? I was very upset. I was very upset. You don't want to clear. 12 year old might be the most brutal age to cry.

You might get away with it at 22 better than 12. Dude, you, 12 years old, I was 5'8. I was like, I was crying. I was thinking about the brutality of your teammates and the other team. At 22, they might be like, shit, Taylor's going through it. But at 12, Taylor's a nag. He's a real Nancy boy. It was a crying moment.

It was bad. I had pitched a good game. I had pitched like six or seven innings and only given up maybe one run and we'd only scored one run. It was a tie game and we're getting toward the end of the game and my arm was just numb. Like I had gone numb.

I couldn't feel my arm anymore. I had no more accuracy and no more velocity. And I was kept looking over there at the coach like, get me out, give me out. And he's just like, you got it. And I'm just like, you're forcing me to lose and to humiliate myself at the same time. What are you doing?

But I'm not, I don't have enough agency at 12 to like walk over and be like, I'm done. I got nothing left And he just basically lets me stay out there And lose the game for us Like actively losing the game for us And I'm just getting sadder and sadder and crying It was it was a bad day

That sucks And the dumb asses No pizza party for losers by the way That hockey shit That's how I know hockey's a weak sport now You got a pizza You go to Red Robin after a loss No I don't think we ever used Red Robin

We had a place with chicken wings That we would go to They pour out our butt They take that whole bucket of bubble gum And throw it in the trash if you're watching. They'd watch as they threw the pre-slice oranges into the carpet. You couldn't have any. We're in the South. No pre-sliced oranges. We had Capri's son. Yeah, we're getting after it. Precise, nobody's

cutting up oranges. I remember. Why? Yeah, I remember hated. The South is where oranges come from. The idea of eating fruit is not a, I don't know. Like, like, I think that the just as a whole, bringing orange slices to games thing is like a happened in the last 20 years or something like that. When I was a kid, it wasn't a thing. No, it was longer than that, because I'm realizing how old I am now. I never saw it happen once.

None of the parents, every parent brought a, you know, each week a different parent would bring a, was in charge of the refreshment. No one ever brought orange slices. It was always juice boxes and Capri Sons and stuff like that. I remember like being on my mom's ass a little bit as a young kid because, that exact same formula played out for us where it was like every parent took turns bringing the caprice on pouches or the gatorades or whatever and the like all-time winner snack bringers were like everybody gets their own gatorade and the snack was something like sweet and bad for you

or something crunchy and bad for you and every once in a while some fucking health freak granola mom would bring in like i remember at the time it was like some sort of flavored water which is like ridiculous. I'm 10. I don't want that. And then orange slices. And so when it was my mom's turn, she was like,

I think I'm going to get like apples for everyone. I'm like, mom, please don't. Do you know how much shit we give Nate? Because his mom brought oranges. Please, can you like get some donuts or something?

Like, yeah, something like that. And like, what should I bring to drink, Taylor? So your friends like you. It's like,

oh, Gatorade. I mean, we had Gatorade. We had Gatorade in the dugout, you know, just in the cooler. We did not have.

Gatorade midgame. We were water only. Dad coached me most of the time, and he would always make sure there was one of those big orange igloo coolers with the spout at the bottom full of, you know, Gatorade. We'd go and get that taken care of right before the game. Dude, I would have felt like a MLB player if I could walk up and, like, fill a cup with Gatorade. Yeah, yeah. We had an entire like two-gallon bucket of that bubble-licious, not bubble-licious, the baseball gum, the ones in the little twisty, you pull each side, you got a little chew. No, that's the

shredded stuff. Like, the individual pieces of bubble bubble gum, the pink stuff from, that's, I don't know, super bubble. Oh, that double bubble shit? Double bubble, yeah, yeah. That shit sucks. You've got an infinite amount of it. As soon as the flavor loses, you just spit it out and get another one. I'm not re-chewing a new thing every eight seconds.

There's no flavor in there. We're 10 years old. What's a ladder, your jaw week? Is that your shoe? That's what got me into the hole I'm in now is all the double bubble. Double bubble. I think it is double bubba. And then some kids would have the big league chew because we all wanted to be like

fucking Chipper Jones and put in a wad of chew in there, spit some bubble gum juice up at the plate. In high school practice, we had a pair of really cute twins who were the managers for the swim team and they would keep the water bottles full. And if like one of the lanes emptied the bottle, they'd like observe that and put in a fresh one. And I don't know why I didn't realize, like, what a dope situation that was at the time.

Like, these blonde twin attractive women would just fill my water bottle for me all the time. And I was like, managers. They're like less than swimmers, right? What was I thinking? You looked a gift horse in the mouth. Exactly.

What I remember is playing hockey. Woody knows this. But Kyle, do you know those I bet they use them in baseball too, like those green Gatorade style box? They didn't have like the G on it. Yeah, so you can like squeeze it into your mouth. Straight through the mask, yeah. I remember at a young age, they would still have those on the bench.

And I was obviously goalie. And so I had my own water bottle on the back of my net. And when that ran out, I would be like scoping out on the bench to see what players were like spraying it into their mouth the way you were supposed to. The way the cool guys in the NHL did the way I tried to. or which guys were like sucking it like a tit just like it's just like drinking directly out of it and I'd be like all right don't drink out of the bottle in front of John or Sean or Eric looks like Tim's good to go I'm gonna take Tim's bottle just trying to keep track of that did you guys have that where they would no no we didn't have bottles like that we literally

had those little paper cups and you would like get yourself a thing a Gatorade and just throw it on the ground just it was a mess our coach gave lessons he's like listen this whole team is sharing water bottles this whole team can get sick at the same time if you put your mouth on the water bottle you hold the water bottle a foot from your head and you squeeze it if you get water on your face you're a swimmer

it's gonna be fine yeah making a lot of points here damn this guy checks out I remember even thinking as I was like doing that in my net we're like in between plays because a young kid I'd turn around and like take my glove off, grab the water bottle, and spray it in my mouth. And I'd be like, yeah, I'm basically, I'm basically Martan Brodura right now.

I'm so cool. This is what he does on TV. We would have a, at the baseball fields, there's a concession stand, obviously. And like, they're making hot dogs and hamburgers and chicken fingers and nachos and stuff. There would be enough time between innings. If you were on the A field, you could just walk over there. And like, I'd be in the dugout eating nachos all the time. It was great. The best player on one of my teams in high school, not my high school team, a different team,

he was constantly showing up like maybe 11 minutes before the game starts, which is not enough time to like put on your stuff quickly and also be listening to the coach tell you like any info they have about the opposing team or like what strategies they're going to run tonight. And this guy would like bring in, I would I would stress on his. behalf because I had a thing where I'm like I'm the goalie like I can't be late ever like they can't start it without me they can start a different player out there but I have to be ready and so I'd be sitting there like all my pads on like helmet like perched the top of my head because I want to pull it down yet and it would be like the coach would be like Dan we got two minutes till ice time everybody stand up get moving loosen up and he's like halfway through his nachos halfway and he would always and he was good enough on the team that he could fuck around

And he would open, he was the first, like, kid my age who I saw, like, openly disrespect adults, like in coaching positions in a way that, like, I couldn't fathom. I was like, that's a good way to get hit. But, like, the coach would be like, Dan, your pants aren't on yet. Can you put your hockey pants on, please? We're about to, everybody stayed up. Come on, Taylor, leave the way. We're heading out. And he'd be like, oh, fair enough, fair enough.

We would say that. He would, he would, like, do a little Indian-style headwagon, go, fair enough, fair enough. as if he was, like, being asked for, like, a huge amount of responsibility. Without trying. I could smell how drunk he was during game sometimes. How old was he? We were, like, 16.

And so, like, I would, I would, like, make a save, and he would skate up to me and be like, I'll have a save, Taylor, hell of him, save. Good job, good job, good job. Like, hit in my head too long, too long after the save. And I'd be like, Dan, please, please can you score? We're tied three, three. And he's like, we'll see, we'll see.

The score is the next shift. He's like, it's because you ask to me, Taylor. Is that a true story? Yes. Like, he was a total fuck around guy. And he was, but, like, you can beat that guy when you're really good at that age.

He had a brother who was like eight years older than us and bought him whatever he wanted. And it never impeded his game. He was always great. So I didn't care. There wasn't a lot of that going on when I was a kid either. Like, there were, like, there were some adults whose houses you could party at for sure. And, like,

have beer openly. I don't remember. There weren't any adults buying it for us. Like, I had the one guy. I was, I was the hookup through, through Chuck, the homeless man who worked for my dad. Those were some of the, I remember every liquor

trip I ever took with Chuck, because they were all memorable. It just, just being like, what do you guys need? Like, taking a list, like, all right, Goldschlager, like an aftershock. That's disgusting. Okay. Aftershock. 12 pack of Dosec. All right, I got it. got it and then just going and picking chuck's ass up me like chuck you'll go to the liquor store

hell yeah man can i get me a little something i'm like of course chuck that's the deal and the best was when chuck is holding a soggy six pack of beer you know it's got that cardboard and it's so soggy that the handle broke in his hand and the whole six pack hit the concrete floor of the liquor store and exploded in front of the management and we're children essentially flanking him on either side. You went in the store with him? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Why would you do that? Just show him what we. You can't send, dude, this guy is not. You can't see him a list. No, he'd fuck it up. I'm going to give him $80 and send him into a store. No, if I go in there with him, I literally would like peel the money off and like, like, make sure he didn't fuck us over.

But he shattered that shit in the floor and everybody looks at him and us. And he just goes, what the hell, man? bullshit six-pack I ain't paying for that get another one boys and it was like wow Chuck's a gangster it sounds like Chuck's right though like oh he was right you know I was like it had gotten soggy from the humidity inside the cooler and the and the handle had like it wasn't his fault but a normal he could have been a little more on the ball

you'd put your hand under it if he if I would I would never that wouldn't happen to me I put my fucking hand under it but he's like bring grocery bags in and you you feel whether or not this thing's got the strength to hold its weight. Another way to get booze without doing a hey mister with a chuck type is to convince your mom that you and your 19 year old friends are going to have a high class wine party where we also eat cheeses and then she goes to Trader Joe's and buys you fucking 10 bottles of wine. And then you and your friends have an agreement where you all wear like sweater vests. And then you get shit-housed in the basement on wine being like,

you know, this cheese is pretty good. I remember, like, I've said it before on the show many years ago, but I remember the beginning of that night, like, wearing a polo, my friends in a sweater vest, and we're like all at the downstairs, like, table being like, like, to class, like, and then like guzzling a whole glass of wine. And I remember having a just a saving private Ryan moment like pouring another glass of wine later and looking out and like seeing my friend chasing my

brother around the pool table like no one's wearing their sweater vests anymore everyone's trashed the cheese is long gone and I'm like there's just nothing even vaguely classy about this that's what you need to do you just drink your mom into doing that I don't think my mom would have gone for that at all she drank a little like there would be beer in our house but my parents would drink like one beer or two beers like it would never be like I never seen my mom drunk. I've seen my dad pretty drunk, but even then, like, well within control and having a normal conversation, just having a good time. Um, so they weren't going to, I never asked my dad to buy me alcohol. Maybe you would have. If I had like sold it as some sort of like, yeah, these

girls, I'm going out and he's going to see them and like, Bridget's going to be there and Caitlin's going to be there. And it'd be great if I had a bottle of alcohol. I'd be the guy. Like, I probably could have sold that, but I had Chuck, so I didn't even do it all that. Chuck was the man. Chuck was the man. RIP. I'm assuming RIP. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I paid for the funeral. It was, yeah. Alcohol in my house was so frowned upon. It was on the level of like crack or meth or something. I remember my aunt, my aunt married a husband who did really well. And we're at their house. I think we had gone crabbing that day or clamming or something like that.

there we are in her like the bayfront house looking at the water some sort of crab bake whatever and my aunt had a beer and my father's like side eyeing her like like this fucking slut can you believe this in front of everyone a beer like he would never settle for a woman like that that was uh that was the vibe now that's odd to be like judging some lady relaxing for having a beer right and it's like I don't know overlooking the bay at like a crab bake like that's beer time right yeah she's not driving down the road taking him to school

have a good day kids was he like bigoted you all a little snort for first period was he bigoted in the type of alcohol was he like beer is boorish and low class like if he had seen her with a glass of wine would he be like I don't think so I think all alcohol was just below him later he was all about turning it water in the wine is a slut too well the

wine it was just wine at every meal it's they ran his first miracle was literally people being like this party sucks they ran out of wine and jesus is like hold your horses folks and then he zaps all of it into wine and then everybody keeps partying yeah yeah why they think jesus was wrong for keeping the party going take that up with him I think he was right. I'm sure he's spoken to him about it since. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't have any,

we weren't like, like I said, there wasn't a lot of drinking at our house, but we didn't think, we didn't think any less of it, or I never did or wasn't introduced to that sort of idea. Now, definitely people who were drunks

and people who were always drunk, that was a bad look that we wasn't condoned. Even as a kid, my grandfather and the genesis of the anti-alcohol family. Yeah, yeah. I had the similar situations with the abusive alcoholic grandfathers, but it didn't sort of delineate down to a hatred for alcohol, more of a caution around it, I suppose, with my parents. Yeah, that makes sense.

It seems like a better way to handle it. I remember, like, my parents and their friends would drink, but it was, like, similar to you, rare that I would, like, see an adult as a kid, like, hammered. I can only think of, like, one friend's mom that would always. always get drawing like I didn't understand what that was at the time because I was very young like I always just thought like oh fucking your friends are coming over they have those kids RH that's awesome like we can hang out and do this and that but she was always drunk and so I guess that's something that like Kyle's family would have frowned on but I just thought she was like a really friendly lady it did not bother me at all it depends where they're always drunk like if you're always drunk like you're like barbecue yeah that's fine like that's when you get drunk I'm talking about like my dad had friends and and they would come to visit, like, his farm and, like, shoot the shit and just kind of sit around, like, the shop, you know, just drinking. And they'd show up drunk. Like, the one guy would show, like, I've talked about him before.

He's the, his name's Ricky. I was at the gas station one day, and it was raining like hell. And I was, hey, Ricky, how's it going? Like, not much. What are you doing today? I'm rainy days like this. This is exactly what he sounds like. Oh, rainy days like this.

I like to get a case of beer and just ride. and it was like his hobby was drunk driving on rainy days you sold that well when you said how's it going and he said not much yeah that guy was great my dad is kind of weird about weed because I know that like that same guy Ricky has like a I guess it's a band but it's like him and his buddies like get around like play their instruments and one of them can sing and my dad loves that shit he plays the banjo and the guitar and the fiddle and he likes to sing and uh and he'd go over there and play with them and be like

they get out that wacky weed and get to puff and then everybody gets weird and i got to get out of there i asked him a few years ago like do you ever did you ever smoke any weed and he told me this story about being at some woman's house and and he's like she got out some kind of big old pipe and i'm like he's like a bong he's describing a bong to me he's like she got out this big old pipe and everybody was a puffing on it and I said I didn't want to be the odd man out so I took a little puff on it too I started feeling scared I'm like I got to get the hell out of here like described like trying to drive home and like stopping for way too long at stop signs and stuff waiting on them to turn green or something and just having a hard time how long are you high if you smoke

pot it if you're brand new before like it can be an incapacitating sort of of event that might last an hour or an hour and a half or something just from smoking. So someone who doesn't do it smokes, does too much, they don't know what they're doing. Hour and a half later, good drive? It's probably a few hours until you feel totally normal again, especially if it's not like your dad took a little hit of a joint, which would be a very reasonable way to like try it the first time taking a bong rip for your first time is probably going to be hellish because you're not used to that amount of smoke entering your lungs so you're already just kind of agitated

based on that and then you're going to go from zero to a hundred in five seconds like whereas with a joint like you could take a tiny like you can we've you know stood in joint circles where like even once you're done you don't have to say no thanks you can just take a little baby like a little bitch hit and like keep passing it around you don't have to like chief it like like cheat Sean. The first time I smoked was a bong and I had a really awful experience. Like I was I was having visual hallucinations. It's possible it was something in that weed we bought it from the black guys that lived like downstairs from us like we were on our second floor balcony and they were on their ground floor balcony and the smoke was coming up and we're just like hey we buy some of that

and the next thing you know we were smoking it upstairs out of a water bog and I was 18 or 19 and man I had a bad experience. I didn't smoke weed after that for like five years. I was like 25 or 26. It's a horrible way to experience weed the first time. I'm curious. I'm thinking about a joint and a bong, compared to a vape, are they? How do they compare in terms of like that painful throat sort of coffee-iridant? So the vape is so cool, and I mean in temperature, like it's dialed in perfectly to not burn

you, whereas with a joint or like any kind of rolled weed, you puffing, like, the harder you puff and the longer you drag, the more heat you're building up. And like, if you're not a smoker, you might inhale too quickly or too wrong, or you might go straight from it to your lungs rather than creating like a puff of smoke in your mouth that you didn't inhale.

I did the vape in Colorado. Like, I've done that a little bit, but it was unpleasant. Like on... They vary. They all vary. Like, some of them, there's so many different kinds of vape liquid and so many times of so many different kinds of vapes. Like, they're all going to be doing different things.

you know and taste a little bit different and like oh is it i i don't know what it is is these are my nicotine vapes and they're all on one or two percent so i just got dual wielding them well i'm just i know that at any moment one they're each like i'll probably go through all of them tonight because they're literally on like one percent each of like um liquid left so like i've just got all three of them there these are weed though these are like t hc p and t hc not a because that's illegal here but something else i don't know are they the gas station variety like was that where you'd get them no no sorry why don't you get them from a gas station that's scared because they sell them there i go to a smoke shop or i uh order them from offline i don't trust

the gas station vapes i don't know what's in there yeah that's fair you want to be a little more careful you know if you were getting like uh throat irritation off a vape it's exactly Kyle described it perfectly like you were just breathing in off the vape instead of like Kyle's like sucking that into his mouth like a cigar and then he's going to inhale and it doesn't irritate your throat as much

because it's all one go whereas if you're just like breathing through it it's a lot of continuous non-normal air running over your throat and then you're going to be like oh my throat's dry as hell it should say that on the package it should be so instructions on the package for that. Taylor's like

he was just breathing it in off the and I'm like, is there an alternative? How do you get it in your lungs? You use your mouth and your cheeks to sort of puff on it to like the same way you would like it's the way you smoke a cigar is initially. You suck a nipple or something.

You know what I mean? You're you're sucking on and then you've got a you've got to smoke in your mouth now in your and like you make your mouth like a cooling chamber for all that vape. You tell the sure again make it a toe yeah all right

she's sucking on his toe on his toe what's that what's that sounds like like and then now you inhale another time and then you get right back on that

there's a little bit of like hand not hand eye coordination but it's coordination involved especially if you're smoking from a bong where you've got to like do a third thing

like if you've got to like move your finger over a hole or pull something out like I've known girls who can't do it where I've got a baby bird them where I'll get the smoke in my mouth and then breathe it into theirs

because they just can't handle a bong without fucking it up somehow. I don't see, like... Why would you give a woman a time of day who couldn't suck? Well, she could suck. She just can't operate the bomb. Okay, okay. And they're very easy to operate.

I've had that too where like you basically have to hold the bong for her and then light it and then you meet out the correct hit size and then you move the thing and then you say inhale. it's not i mean if she can't do that my god she couldn't do that uh like like i would i've known two or three girls who couldn't do that and like the the answer is i will smoke it i will get it into my mouth but not into my lungs and just slowly blow it into her mouth while she

inhales i call it baby birding oh i wouldn't want to take a bong rip into my mouth i don't even know how i would she takes why i don't know how i would breathe a long rip in through my mouth like you can't cigar smoke that in like you have to like inhale to clear everything out and then it's not in your mouth anymore and I've always had the idea of like if you're baby birding someone my lungs are somehow sucking up most of the THC and then they're going to get some neutered version of it so I would do with dabs a lot too so it's and that's the other thing like a girl on a dab rig is a little extra sketchy because you're using a

blow torch and you've got a nail instead of a bowl and so that nail is getting you're turning a piece of titanium to 400 degrees and then you've got it three inches from your fist and then you've also got to handle the hand-eye coordination and all that stuff I have gotten really high before and I'm still holding the bong and my grip loosens because I'm baked out of my mind and the bong rotates in my hand

and the nail hits the back of my hand and it's 400 degrees so then you wake up I had a nasty burn here one time it only happened once that was my experience with like dabs is college was the first time i saw those and i was always sketched out by them because obviously there's a blowtorch there and this is we yeah that and make that intensifies it a bit and also it was without a doubt my dumbest friend who was into it like who wanted us to all do it it's like i don't know man regular weed seems pretty fine and i've seen you take like six prescription pills since i got here

an hour ago. So, you know, maybe, maybe you're taking everything to the nth degree a little, a little too much. That's one thing I've never gotten into at all. Like, I've never taken a prescription pill that wasn't prescribed to me, except for maybe an adderall one time. I did some adderals in college, but that's the extent of it. Yeah.

I needed the adderall. Like, it wasn't like, oh, yeah, let's get buzzing on adderall. It was like, I'm not going to be able to work today. I stayed up all night with you. And she was like, ah, take this. And I was able to work that day. Take this. want to be like worried and stressed and on edge and need to pace around and like feel weird what a

great drug i can't it blew my mind after the first time i took adderall and i was like this is what people are doing every day every day they're waking up and being like time to zoom and then they take that and they're just like it affects me so positively level of anxiety i did not like it affects me so positively like it's it's magic it really is magic i'm so focused motivated engaged and and it's not like I feel driven like it's not like the whip is at my back making me do the thing it's like I want this I love this let's do this and it's like dude you're just rolling socks to each their own it did not work for me at all I had one time and I really didn't notice any effect at all and so that but I have taken a drug that wasn't assigned to me once I'm one of those guys

who's had strep throat like so many times I can self-diagnose this accurately. It riddled my childhood. I just know. And I've left it untreated before to where it got really bad, couldn't swallow, had a hard time breathing. I know where it goes.

And I'm like, I have strep throat. I clearly have strep throat. I know what's up. So I'm looking around for like unfinished prescriptions. Huh. This dog already died. I must have.

we got like canine amoxicillin just sitting around all those sillins do the same thing right well i guess the dog was a little bigger than me i can cut pieces off though there's human doses so uh so that's what i didn't it helped that's awesome no that would work for sure yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't think there's any difference in antibiotics between pets and people that's why that aquarium stuff works yeah i'm trying to remember which heard people like preppers stockpiling with like veterinary antibiotics and things because I guess it's literally like yeah this is just penicillin like it's the same I think I had I don't remember what her certification was she was like a vet tech assistant but she had access to the goods

like some goods or healthy goods anything I I wasn't I I've never been interested in ketamine but I bet she could have gotten to some like I felt like she it's It seemed like she had access, because I remember I needed antibiotics once, and she's like, oh, I got that. I can get that from the clinic. Are there, like, race horses working their way through depression? So it's a tranquilizer. It's a ketamine is literally used as like a cat and dog tranquilizer for surgeries. That's where a lot of illicit ketamine comes from.

Yeah, it's an animal tranquilizer, yeah. What's the one that I like so much? I think you might start with it. Propheaval. Yeah. Of course, you know. Don't do that without a broken leg, but if you do get a broken leg, there is a silver lining. I mean, if that asteroid was coming, if, if, you know, they were like, and the earth has 12 days, you're like, I got to find me a propofal source.

I don't know anything about it. I just worry that it'd be hard to dose safely. Like, fentanyl, for example, we've all seen the images of how little fentanyl it takes to kill someone. If you're an anesthesiologist, I assume that you can measure. these really small quantities fairly well. I don't know what Propofal brings. I just worry people are listening and they're like, what he says is the best.

I mean, I don't think I've ever had it. I know I've had morphine before whenever I got burned. They gave me, they injected morphine into the IV to scrub all the damn burnt flesh off my hand. Did it make you feel high?

It gave me complete amnesia for the event. She kept adding more. I was pretending like I wasn't feeling it, but I knew what they were about to do. I was like, 13. So I was like, I don't feel anything. And she just kept giving me more and more and more. And at one point, she was like, you feel anything now? And I do remember going, woo. And I remember her going, there we go. And then I all I remember about the next, I don't know how much time passed. It could have been 30 minutes, could have an hour. However,

it long, it took her to scrub all the like burnt flesh off my hand and then apply the surgical glove and sterilize everything. But I remember the sensation of this, just someone rubbing the back of my hand, but no pain. And then when I came to again, I had this like artificial skin glove and it was all wrapped up and gauzed and there was no more pain. That was from the acetylene balloon. Yes. Yeah. That was a bad decision. That was one of the stupider things I've ever done. That was, that was outrageous. Were you holding the balloon or did you have it on a string? All right. Here's what happened. So I was always getting into stuff as a kid. And so there's things that you might think of as an innocuous item, but I wasn't allowed to have them or they weren't

allowed to be in the house. Balloons were one of those things because I would turn the balloon into a water balloon and I'd hit somebody with it. You must have been fun to parent. Not at all. You had to be careful. Like the Christmas tree couldn't be decorated down to the bottom of it because Kyle would walk in and fucking smash ornaments just for the fuck of it at five. like I would come and like ruin your Christmas tree. I was, I was an animal. And I was an animal. And so there were no balloons in my house.

And so I was like 12 or 13 and my parents had gone on vacation. And I had found a balloon somewhere. I think it's school. And I was like, ha, ha, I'm not allowed these. And when I got home, I already knew what I was going to do. I filled it up with the assettling gas. I tied it into a knot. But it started leaking right away because the balloon had a little tear like near where the knot was.

And the explosion. is getting smaller and smaller the more time goes by and I'm like shit we gotta light it fast we don't have time to like do it safely what I should have done I had a stick the end of the stick would have been on fire I'd have like been at three or four feet but instead I took the balloon knot part

put it in a vice and twisted it so the balloon would sit there where I wanted and then lit it with a lighter just like this went and so it exploded and all of this my knuckles like everything that was facing it on this side got second and third degree burn It burns huge, bubbly blisters.

And acetylene, I'm sure you've seen when you light up your torch, it burns black. It's that oof. And you've got that, everything's blackened. I look like a blackened fucking piece of chicken or something like that. The whole back of my hand is... Why were there such strict balloon rules

and nothing about acetylene? That's insane. That's psycho. Just had opened... available containers of acetylene and they're like no balloons Kyle what's going to do lock up the options you're gonna you're gonna blow into them and then go e-e-h-h-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-lose-all right i would you know i'd make water balloons and i'd hit people with them and i'd do stuff like that it's just harmless fun nobody wanted

to play though it was it was going to be like you're just going to get beaned with a water balloon and you don't on your way to school this this contributes to my argument that you would have had a lot of fun with a couple bros Yeah. Oh, for sure. I mean, I don't think it would have been a bad, bad time. More friends would have been good. You would have had less toys individually, but you would have had friends to do explosions and shit with. Would have been worth it. We might not have all made it. I don't know. I have a theory. He had a younger brother.

Brendan. We don't talk about Brendan anymore. We don't talk about Brendan. He didn't make the jump. I was always getting hurt, but it was never too seriously. But yeah, that, you know, that was an oxyacetylene torch. So there's, it's hard to hurt yourself with that thing unless you do what I did. Yeah. Well, I mean, another good way to hurt yourself is to use it to cut metal and then grab the metal.

That'd do it. Did you do that? Did you burn your hand up? As if I did it once. We could be slow learners over here in North Carolina. after time one do you not go like oh this is a gloves task this is definitely a gloves it's just easy to forget that like 60 seconds later it's nearly as hot as it was when you were burning it when it was red you know it's since stopped glowing red and it looks like it's

cooled off but not to touch temperatures i looked up years ago what it would cost to like rent and uh correct me if i'm wrong isn't it an acetylene torch you use for cutting metal like that's oxyacetylene. And so I was looking up like renting one of those because I bought my power rack from Titan Fitness when they were like not as highly reputable as they are now. Like they were sending stuff incorrectly to people's house. Like I bought a short power rack for my basement. They sent me a long one. And so like it's literally in between supports. Like it's so high. And I was like, I'll just chop the top off of these with an acetylene torch. And then this and that. And I like watched a YouTube video. and I was like, ah, man, well, I've never done this before, and I bet my cuts are going to be even uglier than this guy. So let's, let's maybe not make a bunch of ugly cuts into the supports of this. So the tool for that, the tool to do that is a handheld bandsaw. Then you can make a really, a link on there.

To cut through that thick steel? To cut through, yeah, absolutely. The tool for that is this handheld bandsaw. You can rent one of those really cheap, and you can't fuck that up and you won't burn your house down. crazy how does that cut through this like thick-ass steel well it's a band saw so if you can imagine that blade doesn't reciprocate yeah and it's a good blade i would go in a different direction kiles's idea is a really good one that's what a pro would do however if you just had a right-hand angle grinder with a cutting wheel it'd do the job and i bet you'd find uses for that angle grinder

for the rest of your life interesting as a man ages he becomes more useful as his tool collection expand and I'm here to help I've got all sorts of tools ex-father-in-law gave me a shit ton made out like a bandit on that I got a garage full of tools

probably not you know aggregated as much as that I've got a gigantic air compressor I've never used it I still talk to the X every while but I'm no contact with the X father-in-law. No, he's going to ask me for that giant red craftsman container bag. Every time I go out there to look for a tool like I need,

I'm always like, maybe like the mystery box out there has it. And then I'll like just open up some drawers and be like, my God, it does. It has the thing I, it has the thing I need. That's crazy. It fits exactly. And it has the corresponding ratchet, you know. So that was pretty nice. That is nice. A settling torch is an incredible tool though. It's like, a fix-all. It's like when the wrench didn't work and the pry bar didn't work and the hammer didn't work and your buddy couldn't show up, you're getting melted. You're getting melted. It's over. I got 3,000 degrees of whoop-ass here. You're in big trouble and you just cut through whatever the fuck is in your way. Anything and everything, it'll cut through. It's going to look bad though. Isn't it

like going to beat up and drip down a little bit? It's not going to look ugly. Yeah, we're trying to get things. Yeah, it's not a precision tool per se. It's like I said, it's like, fuck you, I win. Even if you're good with an oxyacetyacetylene torch, the cut will look bad. It needs to be cleaned up with a grinder. Yeah. But again, anything, anything. Nothing stands in the way of that.

Yeah. There is a certain, like, you know, man, I've gone through four cutting wheels. This done's a toughie. The oxyacetylene knows no match. It will cut everything I've ever had to cut. Yeah, yeah. And it's fun. turning a piece of steel into liquid and watching it go away do you wear one of those

cool welder masks while you do it usually wear some goggles like like just a smaller or just or even tinted glasses sunglasses work pretty well like if they're dark enough but there are like welding grade sunglasses that are a little dark darker than they look like you look a blind guy kind of or maybe like Arnold from Terminator one um for something like that because it will it's bright enough to sort of give you that blindness that temporary like it's too bright to look at. Like, you don't want to stare at it too long. I gave myself, this was a few years ago now. So I was like a real adult doing this. And this like bug got in my house and I just got it in my head. I like smacked it out of the air using the, well, I go like this, but I was

using a towel to snap it. And I snapped it out of the air. And then it fell on my carpet. And I was, I just wondered like I had this super high lumen flashlight and so I was like can I just kill it with a super high lumen flashlight? You melt the carpet well it didn't I didn't hold it that long

but I did get this giant high lumen flashlight I just kind of leaned it on it on the carpet and I was just like looking at it and I was like I think he's already dead okay well I guess he's not moving at all I think I must have killed him with the towel snap because he's not moving I did that for like 90 seconds and then like I looked around my room and I just had like a dead spot just a bright red spot in my vision and I was like oh my God I'm going to have to if this is permanent I'm going to have to hide this for the rest of my life because someone's going to ask how did you get the blind spot and I'm going to have to ask or have to say I was trying to fuck with an already dead bug in my living room and all it did was get it really hot because I did I got a paper towel to pick up the bug in its remnant.

afterwards and I was like oh that's hot fun it's really really I see Taylor being like well you see I had a staring contest with the sun that's my cover story I don't want them to think I'm stupid yeah I don't want them to think I'm a

fucking idiot got your colors and rods all messed up that is my aside from the fast food reveal picture of Trump my number one favorite picture of him is everybody is Melania with like the special glasses

looking at the eclipse and him just kind of like they caught him like in a moment where he like squinted on and that's that's hilarious just everyone's like hey wear this dumbass and he's like not for me just looks right at the sun those lights will melt your your carpet though I know because I turned a two million power candlelight or two million candle power light on one time

in the back seat of my dad's truck and it had a button so that you could leave the trigger to press. You pull the trigger and then you hit where the safety would be on a pistol and it locks the trigger in place. And I actually left it in the back seat face down and it just melted right through his back seat by the time we got out of Hardee's. Damn. Yeah.

That sounds like a much more powerful light than what I was using. Incredibly powerful, yeah. I want one of those flashlights. There's a subreddit devoted to flashlights. I'm on it, of course. And like these guys buy $600 flashlights. They come. They're so excited.

It's Christmas, and they compare them against each other. But I can't rationalize the purchase. So the one I had was like the pistol grip one that's cheap. So it like plugs into the lighter thing in your truck. And those are like $60 or something like that. I have used those incredibly expensive ones. When I went out to Texas, that guy who's a hundred millionaire, he had those. And they're big and they're ridiculous and they're heavy.

And it's like, this is well made. what are these costs? And like you said, they're like $500 or something. When you turn them on, they turn the Texas wilderness into daytime. It's a pure white light

that like mimics sunlight. It's like, what the fuck? The dude on the subreddit, like, show them throw a laser almost. You know, it's just,

it's almost laser adjacent the kind of thing. And some of them have this huge, like wide arc. And it turns the mountain side into daylight like you said. I want to see what this show that picture Zach pull it up for everyone because this is the kind of flashlight that seems so up your alley woody like I know your interests in things and this is I would love this I know the smiles and the joy it would bring you to have such a bright flashlight to be able to show off yeah the the picture is a guy texting his door dash driver I guess he can't find his house and he says look to the sky follow the beacon and the guy and the guy guy says what? Oh my God, I see

it. The beacon. That flashlight, you could say you could, it's a knocktagon K1 with a W2.1 emitter. It's 90 bucks. It's not too bad. That's pretty good. The one I linked here is two million

candle power. It's $60. Like, those are crazy bright. We would use those for hunting. I don't think it's technically legal. We wouldn't use it for deer, but for varmints, you're allowed to spotlight them, but it's, not supposed to be that bright. I think there's a candle power. Maybe I remember what the limit was, but they specified how many candle power you could use against them, but it was like, come on. They lie about their candle power numbers in the marketing. I've seen YouTubers who go through

and like check. They lie about their laser wattage, but the other way. You know, because there's a limit of how much watches they can legally sell. And it's like, but when they test them, The guy, the YouTuber's like, oh my God, this is like a medical grade laser. They just sent this from Amazon. It was $45. What's, what's that link again? I love it when they do that. There is a company that sold gummy bears with THC in them or whatever it is.

And they're like, everybody else is undercutting you. That's why ours get you so much higher. When we say 100 milligrams, we mean 100. And then they get sued because they would say 100 and put like one. 90 in there. That's why they were fucking at least 100, whatever. I remember a really rich friend of mine growing

up, his dad had a flashlight that, you know, like Reddit wasn't a thing. We were younger. And it was like, you held it almost like a, like what does that handle called with shotguns? Where you like hold it by a handle above it and shoot? And it

was that sort of flashlight. And like you could shine it we would like shine it on each other and it would make your body immediately hot yeah like it heated you up so rapidly if the flashlights pointed at you if it was pointed at you wow and it had such a wide spread and they lived in a suburban area so i don't even i can't imagine the use case for a flashlight this powerful stupid question but the difference between a flashlight and the laser is it just how concentrated the light is no no no okay it's the spectrum of light right yeah laser are um lasers use a whole different technology they didn't invent lasers until like the

70s or something like that you know really that recent i know it's a united states of america invention that's one of that's one of ours so you can buy flashlights with a lens on them that make them fire starters which i think is great oh yeah i some companies sent me some flashlights one time and one of them they sent they're like they're like this is the world's

brightest flashlight and it would it would start you could start newspaper with it like I'm close but it was useless yeah

it was the same it was wicked lasers they had that they made the one watt lasers and then they also made like what they called the world's brightest flashlight which wasn't but it was

incredibly bright it would start campfires I bought a mag light years ago thinking it would be a useful flashlight those are the worst flashlights I've ever seen in my life I had a small thing like half the size of a credit card on my keys years ago that was brighter than a mag light there's the biggest dead spot in the middle of it you turn that thing on the top to adjust the power and the scope and it's just you may as well be wishing for it to become more bright they just didn't keep up they were good lights in like the they were comparatively good lights lights, like in the 80s.

You know, you get a big one. I've seen a guy need a carjack, a jackstand, you know, like you put under an axle while you changed a tire. He was changing his tire on an off-road vehicle. And he used a mag light as a jackstand, and it held up his car while he changed the tire on it. That's the quality to which they were built. But if you want something that shines light, like I got one in my pocket that's brighter. Yep.

Yeah. Seems like you could just replace that other, function of the maglite with, as the Simpsons would say, an inanimate carbon rod. Look at that. Of course. You can use this tool, too, though. You can use it as a tool, too, though. It's sturdy enough to use as a hammer or as a weapon or any number of things.

And like what he said, it's really hard. It depends. You might be somewhere where you're not allowed a weapon, but you are allowed a flashlight. Are they going to start confiscating flashlights in the UK? Does it take us 130 or an hour and 34 minutes? Check your brightness there. Let's check your brightness. Oh, up.

That's a four-warp bulb. You know, Nate, give me that. This could make someone see colors, you know. Close. That's my best effort. I'm trying here. Oh, I loved it. I really appreciate the effort.

That was a Welsh accent, I believe. You were close, though. Yeah, that was... You talk up in English. I want to just say you're Welsh. That's perfect. I love it. I wish you'd jump in with accents more. Yeah, that is, I mean, they can't even have knives.

There's no way they're going to give them bludgeon's that kind of function as a flashlight. Like, that's probably within the next couple of years. They shut that down, right? Some dude's going to drive through a Christmas parade and then hop out bashing people with a maglight. Then they're going to be like, sorry, none of our residents can have these anymore. Just got to squint. outlawing knives to me feels adjacent to outlawing like hammers, thick sticks, stuff like that. I'm like, what do you? Come on. Anything could be a weapon at some point.

So you're getting rid of something that is so functional. It's been a, it was probably the first tool. Like what was a tool that would predate that? Like some guy, yeah, maybe a hammer. Maybe it was hammer than knife. Some guy was like, hey, I put a really sharp shell. on this stick and now I can cut things right I noticed that when I use the side of the hammer rock it cuts yeah onto something here yeah there's no excuse for it our poor UK brothers we got to fight for them I just googled like our flashlight's legal in the UK and it was like well most of the time but it like it was like if the flashlight could be considered tactical or perhaps used as a bludgeoning weapon. It may be considered

to be offensive and confiscated by authorities. That's fucking bullshit. Fucking nanny state times a thousand. What a bunch of pussies? That is so gay. You can't have a big flashlight. That is so embarrassing. They need to take their

rights back. Their knife rights, their flashlight lights. Whatever happened to England has been that one of the greatest falls from grace and power in human history. Like the Roman empire didn't just stuff out like that. Like, it took thousands of years to go from its height to, like, the Byzantine thing.

And, like, even when it split, it was too powerful things. Still, it wasn't embarrassing. So the Holy Roman Empire. But the UK has went from an empire that the sun can't set on because it spans the globe. They owned all of India, all of America, Canada, and they had their teeth sunk into South America to some extent. And now it's just an embarrassed island with a couple of territories scattered about. And they can't have flashlights and swords. That does sound. You guys will be walking around with that little candle with the little lens on top. It's so embarrassing. That is.

It's all. I mean, because British Empire might be number two all time. I'll take care. I think it's number one. I think I think it's number one by every metric that matters. We've looked at this before. And And Mongolia is number two, not Rome. The United States of America could beat the Roman Empire and Mongolia at the same time. Yeah, but we're comparing their empires on like a... You have to do a gradient where it's... That's not how I do it. So whatever the newest empire is, it's just the biggest...

What is the list is just chronological? Well, it was the Americans and the British and then the Spanish and then the Portuguese? Yeah, that's embarrassing, though. Sorry, UK. I mean, we've got our own little fascist thing going on right now. It's a little embarrassing. You've got to admit.

The Trump's meeting with Putin and Russian Alaska this week. We got flashlights, though. Yeah, nobody's policing our flashlights over here. They're bright as fuck. I'm guessing nothing comes out. They asked Trump if he'd get peace and he's like, I'm paraphrasing.

He's like, probably not. I already talked about some of this stuff. I don't know. Maybe they're not hoping to really get anything done. The only thing that can come out of it, that Trump and his, like, donors would like is if he somehow tricks Putin into sending money to Israel. That would be, that's probably what he's spending the whole fucking meeting doing, because he's clearly not invested in this other shit. I heard Trump talk about it a little bit, and it sounded like what you heard, Woody, he was saying, this is the first of at least two meetings, and he made this one sound like more of a groundwork setting meeting and, like, sort of establishing how things would be done and where things would be done.

And he's like, there may not even be a second meeting. like this could go bad and they're going to be a second meeting and they're like do you think you have any any sway over Putin to stop the killing of civilians and he's like well we had a couple of great conversations and then the next day

he blows up a hospital so to answer question no I don't think I do and it was like this rare moment of Trump like of truth of truth I was like oh who's this guy Putin said to me sir sir I'll do anything you want

Get out of my knees, Vladimir. Get down at my knees, Vladimir. That blew the pants off of the British accent. Just letting you know. I like the other word. I can't even begin to mimic what you did with the British one. Hello there. I'm calling, no.

Fucking Trump sucks now. All he does is like, what, try to like shut down free speech. If you're insulting Israel or you're not on board with. that agenda and not stopping wars involving us further, continuing to fund the Ukraine shit, giving Israel as much money as they can ask for. It's just ridiculous. Yeah, I like some of the stuff he's doing. I don't like a lot of the stuff he's doing. Fake deportations, the bullshit numbers. They wouldn't even post the numbers anymore because they're doing such a piss poor job. He's going after it as hard as he can. Oh, is he? Is he? Yes. What more does he need to give?

I got $50 billion and I can't get it done yet. I'll eat, I'll eat my hat if he actually takes off and it's actually meaningful. But until then, I don't think. I don't know what more you want him to do with the... Eating Taylor's hat is a feast. It's a big hat. It's a big hat. Look how far it's brought out in the snaps.

Holy shit, that can't be real. There's only... There's only three pegs in there. I honestly thought you had some sort of hat extension. I thought that was a joke hat. Like there's an extension cord. It's a normal hat for a normal hat for a normal guy.

Is that show us one of those gigantic hats that's meant to be oversized? I feel like that's got to be what that is. That doesn't look real. I use the second clip. I use the second hole back there. That thing's hanging on like a bra and a fat girl. I usually line up every hole. Every hole connects and that's about my hat size.

Yeah. I don't know what. I've never bought a fitted hat. I don't know exactly what my hat size is. I don't think I have either. I've worn fitted hats. They're always tight. Look at that guy.

Then it wasn't fitted. It was fitted, but for a different man. What do we do? Why do we keep calling her, boy? Oh, is that a... I think it's a softball player. Am I a crazy one? That's a woman.

It's clearly a woman. I just... I was mostly focusing on the hat. She's wearing a Tex Longhorn's hat. I'm guessing she's a softball player. There you go. Taylor, that's a boy. That's a boy.

So this is a man of the human species. I found a new kind of like slop content on Twitter that was served to me. And the crux of it, no, just like trash contrived nonsense for clicks. That's not meant to be interesting or funny or anything. And it's this guy. And I got served two of them. the same night and it was the same guy. And so I'm convinced, obviously, it's like his channel.

And his whole shtick is like going into, first of all, it's under the premise, the, you know, cover of like social experiment. But one of the videos is he goes into a restaurant and I'm convinced he and the waitress are in on it because it's this horse shit. And then everyone else in the restaurant is just trying to enjoy their fucking pizza at California Pizza Kitchen or whatever. and this waitress walks over and this guy is like doing T-Rex retard hands and she's like, what would you like to eat? And he's like, oh, I want to eat is a beta.

And then like it shows like little cuts to like the people around eating, looking at him like, what the fuck is it? And then the waitress rudely is like, are you drunk, sir? And then he's like, no, I have a traumatic brain injury from being in the army.

but can I get a fucking Sicilian style thing, crutch? Like that kind of thing. And like the waitress is being rude to him. And I guess the whole experiment, quote, unquote, is seeing if the aggravated diners around them will step up and be like, stop bullying this guy and let him order pizza. And of course, it's just bothering people. I just saw it. No, okay.

So this is an, I'm sure that this guy on the internet's doing it brand new, but he's copied something from I think John Stossel did that it's one of those like date line like nighttime news programs where they do an undercover thing like this like they'll have somebody like go after an interracial couple they'll have someone be incredibly rude to the waitress and like

throw her money on the ground like there was one where maybe someone didn't have enough money when they're checking out like they're buying groceries and they don't have the money and the checkout girl is like you couldn't figure that out for you got up here and wasted everyone's time, you poury.

You know, like, just the... That's understandable. Do a little math figured out. Don't make me... I'm not here for it, my grandma. I prefer the term brokey. Brokey. But it gives the people who are...

Hidden cameras, of course, but it gives those people in line the chance to be like, hey, no need for that. How much is it? You know, and, like, pick up the tab for the person and, like, be the hero and the money. I saw another one with the same guy. Later that same evening.

I haven't seen any more of these. It needs to serve me more of these on Twitter. And it was this guy, same dude, also doing T-Rex retard hands. And so I think it's an excuse for him to, like, pretend to be like that, really. And he's in a gym. And he's, like, reaching up like this, trying to, like, get the bar for a lat pull-down machine, but his fucking T-Rex hands can't get it. And then, like, zooms in on some, like, gigantic black, uh,

guy in the background who's lifting and he's like oh man this he's looking at his face he's just probably thinking like oh man this this white guy needs some help he's going to hurt himself and so he walks over and like helps him like latch his hands and instead of saying like hey man maybe like maybe this isn't the workout for you maybe push day huh yeah let me let me pull that down for you and you can hook your little retard hands over the top then you can do that and he's like he's like twitching and doing the retard like seeing seeing like he has cerebral palsy and it's like, who is this for? What is the content for? Like, you're showing what a

great guy, the nice black guy is for feeling so uncomfortable. He had to like loop this guy's hands around the lap pole bar thing. You know, I'm going to disagree with you here. This doesn't sound like slop. This sounds like good content. It's all made up. The guy's not retarded. So says you. I can tell. I think everyone involved. Of course, he's not actually

retarded, but the real thing is that the black guy helped a strange, retarded white man do his lap pull-down workout. Why is this guy setting up bizarre scenarios? To get cliques. To show the kindness in humanity and also to get clicks. I'm going to go pretend to be homeless

and bother people. And then when they buy me a sandwich, I'm going to go, you're on Taylor Camera. It means you're a good guy. That's ridiculous. That's insane. That'd be so funny.

I like, I do it for a day and I realize the amount of White Castle sliders I can get and I just stick with it. Yeah. Apparently, like, you can do pretty well panhandling. Like, beggars make out. Like, if you're a good beggar, like, if you're in a good area and you've got a good scam, they do well enough. Like, I've seen a few of them where they catch the beggar going back to her Mercedes. She's like, she's been over here begging at the entrance to Walmart, like, no, you know, no money, no food, three kids, help whatever you can. And she's, and she's like folded her sign up. And she's getting in her 80,000. thousand dollar car and leaving and i've seen a bunch of people do that uh the um the morning radio show out here when i was like 20 uh and i'd listen to it every day going back to work would they would do this thing called torture tuesday where they would make one member of the crew go do something awful

like out in the world like they'd strap him to the roof of a car or they'd make him bungee jump and one time they made him beg they made him be a beggar under a bridge or something and he's like I've made $85. It's been, he's like, I'm making more here than I do at work. He was making,

I think he had to be out there until he made like $200. And he did it before the morning show was owned. Like he was making out. It's crazy. That is crazy. And if you're making that much money begging, there's really no incentive to not beg.

Like it's all tax free. You just find some landlord who's fine taking a cashier's check or a money. order. You laundering somehow, if you're begging for money, you know, you find a way to watch that money up. Yeah, I think begging is, especially if you're pretty girl, I guess that's what only fans

is, though. Yeah. It is what it is. I keep seeing those, those like only fans success stories on Reddit. The girls will be flexing. They're like, first month, $900,000. What the fuck? That can't be true.

Have you ever seen the, like, I saw some graph of like the breakdown of income? And I think it's like the bottom 80% of OnlyFans girls make borderline zero money. All right. So that's deceptive though, because like the hot ones make a lot of money. Yeah, but they wouldn't be in the bottom 80%. I wonder. There's a lot of Uggos and there's a lot of dudes. And there's a lot of OnlyFans accounts that aren't even explicit content.

Like lots of like I know fighters that have an OnlyFans and it's them working out. It's showing you and Jiu-Jitsu techniques and stuff like that. There have to be most of. the accounts don't even upload content most accounts are probably customers right like i'm not sure if that's i think it was like a graph of creator accounts like if you're uh not a subscriber like and even then it makes sense like the bottom 80 85 percent are going to be making very little and then you'll see the amaranths at the top making like 1.5 million a month or some some bananas amount of money way more than that i i believe you it gets to crazy amounts because they're

paying you set your subscription amount right it's not like twitch where each sub is five dollars and you get two of that or three of that or whatever it may be like you can make your subscription fee $50 a month or $20 a month a lot of those girls it's 10 or 15 I think or 20 even I don't know what amaranse is but she has I think those people are making like 50 to $100 million a year like crazy crazy money like almost incomprehensible amounts of money for and and amaranth like i don't follow but every now and then i'd be like wonder what she's done now like have we gotten to the point where it's gangbanks no there's not even real dicks yet like she's just she's just getting naked who's the one that did graduate to like el delphine

that's who i'm thinking of she's still doing well yeah oh yeah yeah yeah she doesn't she take off from time to time like take months and months off and come back i don't follow well enough to know like Exactly, but I believe that she has done that before. I remember Fenster saying something about that, but there's a, I use a site sometime, I think they took it down, but it was like Coomer. It was like

Coomber.su or something. And they had like all, they had a bunch of only fans you could type in whatever only fans model you wanted and then the content was there for free. It was basically like, if you go there now, it's going to check your browser and then it's just not going to load because they changed the domain. And I don't know the

new domain um so dot s u is the top level domain for the soviet union no it's still up gile good okay so type in type in amaranth and go to create overestimating my spelling i'll get you there up in the top you can click creators and then amaranth is just if you type a and then m amaranth will pop up like it'll automatically feed you oh yeah i went to her only fans page but they don't show like followers here it says 1.72 million likes maybe a like is a follow so where woody is he should be able to see how many like who's popular there um i think amaranth's number one or number two on that website 12 months is 89 94 50% off that is a good looking woman she's really pretty but i'm watching like you can see this much on the beach for most

oh well i mean i mean i don't know let's see Do you see her profile picture on this site? Click on that. I've definitely seen Amaranth use like dildos and stuff and and do all sorts of like suck dildos and fuck herself and stuff. Oh, okay. Yeah, good times. Big time shout out. Keep breaking it in.

Amaranth is the real one. I just think I mean, how could you, I don't think I'm alone in this. That's a perfect woman, right? like that's that's a good looking lady she's pretty wow yeah yeah I I don't know there's a contrarian of me that's like no no no

what about and actually this looks perfect every inch of her looks perfect kind of just a perfect human being there those big old fake titties that had to be an expensive or I'm just I'm just looking at the profile pick of her I don't think this is fake buddy Oh, well, far be it from me to malign the only face.

In that picture, I think she's lifting them, giving them a fake look, and she's not letting them hang with gravity. Wow, that's a good picture. Mayhaps. What's her cost? Oh, free? Oh, there's a trial. Look at that.

Free. They might be fake, though. Yeah, a trial. That means free. Regular price, $15 a month. or 12 months for $89.95. It only says one subscription option, $14.99 a month. A lot of their money, like, I've seen that like 30% or even more will come from tips and private videos.

So the public content might be fairly tame on some of these girls, but they will have a, depends on how big they are. Some have bots, someone have managers or whatever, but they'll get into your DMs or you'll get into their DMs and they'll be like ah new videos out this time i'm like triple dildo fucking my ear uh 89 dollars flat and to unlock and and that's where they're making again like a big chunk of their money depending on the girl i just know i saw um little tay wasn't she that like like little girl rapper for a while um she started in only fans when she turned 18 like the moment she was 18 years old her only fans came online was like a few hours over 18

when was this content taken is what I need to know it was see it was bullshit though she put her Instagram content on there and ripped off all the pedos for like a million dollars in a day like she made like a million in a day she reposted Instagram stuff

yeah it was all just like her regular like there wasn't anything looter than she'd already done like she was just like oh only fans is up I'm legal boys and then just I think it was like $985,000 she made a day or something crazy like that. Damn. Got a cool mill off of, I guess, reposting

content. Yeah. How much OnlyFans takes? Let's see. They don't know. But usually 20% When, you know, day-to-day women are turning to prostitution, it's a sign that the society is healthy.

Look at that. That's a little tell you right there. wow oh dude you're right messages that is almost half yeah tips is so much less than messages yeah tips are tips or tips you know they didn't get anything in return for that they're just like simping for the to like get attention from her maybe which is weird because like what do you think do you think you're going to simp to a world famous quasi rapper little girl rapper and she's going to be, ooh, Simp 45, you sent me $18?

Oh, wonder what you're all about. I'd love to like, no, tell me about your life. It's really a trailer part. What's that like? She doesn't fucking care. Like, the idea that those people would ever care. And I'm talking about women specifically,

because, like, honestly, when we talk to our fans, I genuinely care. I'm often very, that fucking drone guy that's murdered 300 people? Dude, I love that. Well, not murdered. slain Yeah, ask their families

how they feel about it. For just wars. Operating those drones heroically, Kyle. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, he's one. You think because all throughout history,

they thought things as lame as archery was not honorable. And now that changed it? No. Killing someone from thousands of miles away with an Xbox controller is honorable, Kyle. It's honorable, and it's, by the way, it's real warfare.

It's not like bullshit, boned in glory. It's real war. It's not at all nonsense. That's modern day warfare. That's what it's about. Dude, if he got 300, I could get 180. Like, I'm sure he would say if he were here that, like, he's not skillful in any meaningful way.

Like, he's not, like he's one of those drone pilots. You ever see him race drones when they're doing? doing all the crazy maneuvers at high speed. It's like, I don't have the reaction time for that. What the fuck are you doing? Like, it's like pod racing. It's like, how can you control it that, that accurately, that quickly make those maneuvers like that? I don't think he's doing that.

He's hovering at whatever, 13,000 feet with a Reaper drone and just going. Different skill set. Like one of experience, one of like knowing how to lead it. I don't know. I think there's zero skill. I think he literally is like, I think they're like, all right, you're going to fly this route with the thing and he's like click click click all right it'll do that now uh do you see anything down there yeah the camera's on this guy okay kill him and he just

presses the kill button and it kills him i don't think he's aiming i don't think he's like guiding it in like like i think he's just setting fire and it's doing everything for him i don't think there's any skill not to take anything away from that guy like i'm glad he killed all those uh funeral participants and wedding uh parishioners and such they were they were baddies they They literally were ISIS. They literally were baddies. Yeah. ISIS goes to weddings, too.

Yeah. And sometimes they're six-year-old girls eating from a buffet at a wedding. Future. There's no way to tell. Those, the breeding age, okay? Yeah, they were going to make, you know, over there may have. That's when an Arab woman is at her most fertile around the sixth or seventh year, I think, something like that. They only live to 10.

They're like Great Danes. That's what I heard. I was reading on Trager U. Who's they get those big tumors on their front? It's time to put them down. Oh, speaking of big tumors on their front. Have you heard about the fucking tentacle-faced rabbits out west? Yes.

Yeah. Oh, my God. They're wanting people not to touch the tentacle-faced rabbits out west. I knew that already. Instinctively. Yeah. Also, I would have seen that and I wouldn't have touched it. But this isn't new.

Like, rabbits get this weird. I think it's a fungal infection and then it causes these like spines to grow out of their face because I remember I remember seeing something about this years and years ago way before this current thing that one on the right may have been the same picture

I saw fucking eight years ago the one on the left is the picture I saw recently yes me too I wanted to shoot it so bad put it out of its misery they should at least at least clip them clip them do you think do you think they're hard or that they're like no i think they're soft yeah i bet they're like almost like a felt tip

marker yeah i imagine like little monkey fingers what if they all moved around like if they were they were doing stuff that would that i would hate that but we should kill these rabbits anyway like knock them out of their misery and make sure the other rabbits don't get whatever the fuck this is would you eat that rabbit no no it seems would you eat that rabbit for 10 000 no me either i'd be so scared i'm pretty sure it would like give me that shit I'm scared if my dick would, like, start doing that. Like my whole... Your dick?

What are you doing with the rabbit while you're eating it? You know, I'm eating and then I'm masturbate a little edge, a little goon, goon, goon, eat a little more. Get that rabbit grease. Okay, I get it. I thought you were being silly for a second. Yeah, it helps me with portion control. I like to jerk one off right in the middle of the meal. I like to goon in between my...

Yeah. But I only edge. So I'm in a bad... That's uncouth. Yes, these rabbits appear to have tentacles. They're harmless experts say. The Cottontel rabbit papillamomavirus, papillomavirus, papillomavirus. Papillomavirus.

Apaloma. Which alarmed some Colorado residents cannot spread to other species and goes away on its own. That's their version of HPV. That's rabbit, HPV. Yeah, it causes cancer in people. I bet it causes cancer in that fucking rabbit. That's worse than... Yeah, but they don't live long enough to, like, die of cancer you would think.

It turns out HPV is, like, seemingly the least. intense of the animal HPV? Can you imagine if you got that shit and like you had stalks growing out of your like lower abdomen? Zach, see if you can find some really like fucked up human genital walls.

Don't show us any of that. Do, please. See if you can find something that looks like what was on that rabbit's face, but it's on like a lady's jump. I'm not going to send it directly to Taylor's WhatsApp. Yes. I'm going to fucking lock you. Yes. It'll be.

one of those warts that's like like on a scraggly stalk if you've ever seen those where it's got a scraggly stalk and then a big wart thing gross like that i don't like it one bit either that's why you got to get rid of it well before we jump to the next thing we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful wonderful sponsors this episode is sponsored by blue chew let's talk about sex guys shouldn't you always be at your best 2025 is the year to maximize your performance in the bedroom listen up bluechew.com. Bluechew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Lovietra, but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost.

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and use code PCA10 to get 10% off any merchandise you purchase. Check them out, check it out. Check all of it out, fellas. What television family would you live with if you had to move in with one? Do I know about the Cosby thing? Say that again? Do I know about the Cosby thing? It's the TV version of them, not the actors.

Married with children. Maybe the huxtables. I really... Married with children. You're going with Al Bundy? Yep. He'd be a terrible father. Not there for Al.

No, but you're a son too. No, no, you're also a son, so you can't be there for the sister or the mom because you're a member of the family, unless you're getting weird to do. Well, look, first of all, you don't tell me what to do. Second of all, you asked what TV family

would I like to live with. You didn't say born into. okay which TV family I thought I was married with children family and what's her name what's her name?

Christina Applegate is surely who you're thinking of she doesn't have those things anymore she had a double mastectomy rest in peace and but back then back in the day that was a that was a top

she was the amaranth of her time oh my fucking God she's incredibly hot always had her nipples popping she was the before Jennifer she walked so that Jennifer Aniston could run.

I do remember that show being on. What a hero. That was a show that when it was on TV and I was very young, I would see her walking around with the nips popped. And I wasn't old enough to even understand horny or sexfully. But I was like, I like this. I like that. Like I really have an intense desire to watch this more.

And I didn't even have the requisite knowledge to know why I would have. eventually want that. And Peg was hot too. Like the wife is not too. Yeah. And then what I think that is a teenager. And she'd always be like big tit having sexy wife. And she'd be like, let's go upstairs and I'll blow your mind, Al. And he'd be like,

uh, nothing like Peg. And I'd be like, you fucking homo. What are you doing? She's spreading the wing. She's trying to fly right now. I didn't think of it. I was going first Prince of Bel Air. I was like is a nice strong father figure, generational wealth. This is the family I want to be born into. That's another good one.

You know, I'm not thinking of any white families from those shows because I do not want to be in the full house. Will's got a sad ass story though. I don't want to be Will Smith. Like a couple kids in his neighborhood were up to no good so he goes off to Bel Air. What's so rough about that? I had that childhood and I didn't

go anywhere. I just got bullied more. Yeah, but your dad didn't, your dad didn't abandon you and like multiple times. Like Will Smith's dad's truck driver who was abandoned him and then there's an episode where he comes back and then he just abandons him again you know that episode had no right to be that good it's really good this is the fresh prince of belair he has a corny rap song in the beginning and then it has all the drama of any show that's ever been on like like it killed it yeah he has a great moment he's like i don't need him anyway

i didn't need him shave the first time i didn't need him to kiss the first girl and he's like laying these like first in his life his dad wasn't there for it, but he had to get through anyway. He's melting down crying and Uncle Phil's hugging him. Like, it's, it's fucking sad. And right before that, Uncle Phil had had it out with his brother and everything. That's a great scene. That was a

pretty good show. And back then, I thought Will Smith, I was like, oh, Will Smith is a good rapper. You know, I was 12. Will Smith was. Have you seen his new rap stuff? Yes. I still, I said past tense. Oh, my God. Will Smith has started rapping again, and

it is humiliating. Like, it's almost like he has a, the way Bianca Sensori is out with literally her pussy showing at the Oscars or the Grammys or whatever, like, I think she's got some kind of a humiliation fetish. Like, she's definitely going home and just coming so hard. But Will Smith must have the same thing. Because, because those raps are corny. Yeah, yeah, let her bang him. Those raps are so corny and embarrassing. And he's like, he's like riding in a car, rapping.

out the window and it's like it's bad. It's 90s rap. It's just rhymy. It's just rhymes. It's the rhymes that kids write. It's also poorly done. I'm like, oh, first take, huh? Yeah, you could have watched that one before you uploaded it.

And like no production value. Like they're not not no production value. It looks like I'm sure he's got infinite contacts in the business and plenty of people to help him do this stuff. I don't know how it got done. But man, I've seen two different rap videos. is that he's made recently and they're they're embarrassing that like like i would be so embarrassed to

be him i linked one and it's rough and it's like him sitting in a room and there's for some reason mannequins of the simpsons and iron man and he's got a huge amount of food in front of them and a coconut water and he's just rapping poorly now no one defies aging right everyone gets older but somehow watching him so puffy while he's rapping it's like If you wanted to make a little comeback career-wise, you're a product. You need to polish and buff that thing up before you put it on camera. He's selling a dirty car. He's fat.

Dude, the comments are ripping it. The top one, it says he wrapped like an undercover cop. I guess he had a quote in there. We said, I pulled the pin out the grenade on purpose. Then I threw it. And the comment is, yeah, bro, that's how the grenades work. Will Smith on a self-sabotaged speed run. Bro looks like he just got done crying.

He wraps like a youth pastor. Yes. Yes. The final boss of unks. I don't get that as much. What did it say about unks? Final boss of unks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's fair. If you were Will Smith's advisor and he wants to make some sort of comeback, it could be music, it could be acting, it could be something. how would you coach him? I feel like he'd be good at this. Retire. He should retire is what he should do. He needs to take time off.

He needs to let this settle. He can't come. The same way that like Mel Gibson sort of did, although I think that was just the Jews getting together and keeping him out of movies for a while, the same way that people who have these melt, that Kramer did, you got to take some time away

and let people simmer on this thing and forget it a little bit. but there's no like come right back to it without chris rock signing off on it you know i mean you would have to do something with chris rock or you guys joked about it or you like let chris rock hit you back or something like there's no way to get around it you know what he did was so nobody thought that was good what he did and it it's it hasn't no one has like sweetened on it either like time hasn't passed and we look back like oh yeah i guess chris rock really did deserve it like if we had found out Chris Rock was a rapist or something

in the interim, we'd be like, Will Smith knew, like that would be the narrative. We didn't. And I heard Jervais talking about it, and he's like, Chris Rock weighs eight and a half stone. I don't know what a stone is, but I think it's like 12 or 15 pounds or something. So he's saying, Chris

Rock weighs 100 fucking pounds. I bet he wouldn't do that to I can't remember what he said, like Jason Statham or whoever he said, like someone bigger. He wouldn't have done that to them. He did it. He's, he's bullying somebody. And they're playing the video when I'm watching.

I'm like, yeah, he is. Like, Chris Rock is way small than Will Smith. Will Smith looks like 6-1 or 6-2 or something. And he wasn't as puffy then, but he's at least 200 pounds, you know? Like, definitely, like, punching down. Yeah, big enough to beat up Chris Rock. So, no, I think he just needed to take some time away. Instead, what he's done is like this flurry of things.

He had this Chinese video game that everybody made fun of where he's like poorly rendered in as Will Smith in the video game. And I think bad, I think the, I don't remember when the bad, last bad boys movie came out, if it was before or after the Chris Rock thing. But I don't, I saw some of it and it was like, it was bad, you know, Martin, if you think Will Smith looks old, Martin Lawrence looks rough, like, like, you know. I thought he was dead. No, no, no. Must look rougher than I thought. I just made Bad Boys three last year.

You got that rabbit virus. well this is wonderful news Martin Lawrence is alive oh great but we lost him I am Four is a possibility now it was there was one good part

so I never really love the bad boys movies but there was this great part in one of the earlier ones where Martin Lawrence's daughter's boyfriend comes to pick her up to take her on a date and Will Smith answers the door all thugged out like talking like he's going to like gay rape the boyfriend and putting a gun in his face and like scared the shit out of her boyfriend

basically that same boyfriend is in the third one he's now like marrying her he's in the army he's he's like special forces or something like like she's having his baby and it's it's it's good and he's clearly not an actor they they were just like funny if we had him come back are you go into the scene where they defends the house yeah yeah he he goes like i don't know john wick mode defending the house and will smith and martin lawrence can only watch from like a tv security monitors like across town or something and he just kills everybody he's incredibly competent he's like john wick and then at the i saw a little uh complicate like a youtube thing that told this story in 15 minutes and then uh at the end of it he's still really respectful to like will

smith and martin lawrence's character and he's like i'd like permission to use the grill and they're like, what? No. You know, this grill is for the men. You are a boy. And then Will Smith gets back to cooking. He's like, he's still looking at me, isn't he? We did watch him kill 18.

Maybe. Come on in here. Come on in here. And then he gets treated as an equal amongst the men. It's funny because he's playing Xbox. He's playing like Call of Duty or something or Counterstrike or something. He's on Xbox. And they call him. They're like, the house is being invaded by like a SWAT team

you gotta defend the family and he's like real and like puts the controller down and goes right into murder mode and he does he kills like 12 people or something and they aren't it's a fun scene but but Will Smith is just embarrassing himself like I said I don't think there's any comeback from what he did because there's also that he was on the downturn before that he was like putting his kids in weird movies about space

or something like that that nobody liked after Earth the Chamelon movie yeah so he did his best to make that kid a star but you can't just manufacture that he put him in that karate kid movie with jacky chan um he was in um pursuit of happiness with will smith playing his son he had his son playing his son in that movie is great because he's little enough that he's not self-aware little kids can act well but they hit this they hit this wall at like i don't know 10 or 12 or something like that where they become aware of what's going on

and how big this is and that people see it and they get in their own heads or something and they stop being able to be naturally in the moment the way that a lot of child actors are a lot of them can make that. If you ask me to read lines, that would happen to me. I don't deliver lines like a real

actor. I don't know, maybe if you rehearsed, maybe like, you know, you wouldn't, if you tried you probably could do a little better than someone who doesn't spend five hours a week on camera, but I'm not as good as the people who are good at it. You ever do any plays or anything in school? No.

Yeah, I did. Did you? Even though you did a winter sport? When I was in sixth grade, I was 12, we had a big school play, and I don't remember what made me want to go out for one of like the main parts in it. I think it was because a lot of the girls were doing it,

And that was a way to, like, be around the girls more and, like, make friends with them. For the same reason that the year prior to that, my stupid fucking music teacher was like, all right, everyone, we're doing singing for choir. Like, and we're going to do this in front of all year on Grandparents Day in the fucking chat with it. And I remember her being like, all right, if you're a soprano, go on this side. If you're, like, a lower voice, go on this side. And I immediately, I feel like I was the only boy. in the class that got this where it's like all the girls are on one side all the boys are on the other side i'm already pretending to sing i'm not singing i'm just opening my mouth i'm not making

noise ever and so i stayed on the girl's side get out no i did how did you pass as a it's a soprano i just went like you want to see like my high voice i went i went like that i just faked the whole thing so high i couldn't hear maybe when i was younger she didn't know and so I just like pretended and so I got to be around the girls that whole that whole time and then the play the sixth grade play which was a big deal the next year because my school it didn't cut off at fifth grade it went all the way to sixth grade and so I kind of like entered middle school at seventh grade and so like I was at the top of that that hierarchy and they like needed people to go out for different parts and I played like a like a director like a Spielberg type. And so I had like a really intimidating thing I had to do where like the entire auditorium we were doing it in was full with grandparents and parents and things at the time. And everybody else got to start up on stage where they would like start doing their their lines and everything for the play. And I was the only person I had to part of my character,

I had to barge in from the back of the auditorium and then walk as though I was like analyzing it for a set for a film for this play and i was so nervous about that and i i did better than i thought i would because i was still young enough that like i didn't fully like grandparents and parents didn't i didn't recognize those as like individuals who are judging me i just thought like oh these are all grandparents and parents these are like barely people like and i just forged ahead and did it i i had i i was never a theater kid but i had a lot more fun doing that play than I thought I would. I should have done more plays. I always had the same.

And all the girls, dude, the girls are obsessed with the plays. They were obsessed. They loved the theater guys, even though most of them were gay in high school. Did you get any attention from the girls for being in a play? No. No. No. No. It was an awkward 12-year-old with fucking thick glasses.

I got no positive attention from the girl, other than maintaining the small friendships I had with them. But, though, there wasn't even the whiff of anything more than that. every play in elementary school I did this I had the same role I was the the I was the announcements I was the welcome to the our our our beauty in the beast tonight um thank you for coming and then I would do the outro at the end of like thanks for everybody thanks for all the parents showing up tonight make sure you you know drive safe and like like I somehow they gave me that role every time like like somehow somehow every time he didn't have what it takes he didn't have what it takes to cut the mustard as a, you know, a star.

See, here's the bullshit, though. Like, I'm thinking back on this, while you were telling your story, I was, I was bringing up some memories that I hadn't accessed in a long time about the plays from elementary school. They just sort of, the teacher picked who she wanted for each role. So we did Beauty and the Beast, and she just picked people who looked like the characters. She picked, Chad was going to be Gaston,

because he was the tallest, best-looking kid. He was the cool kid who could do backflips out of the swings. and Lindsay was going to be Bell because she was a cute little blonde girl and I remember like there was a I got in big trouble for this you got to keep in mind I couldn't have been more than 10 but we were at the lunch table

and this big black guy said like he wanted to be in the play and I was like you can play the beast maybe you're the janitor sir yeah I told him he had to be the beast in beauty and the beast because he was a big black guy and like he was too stupid to understand that I was insulting him but the teacher overheard it. And I remember in the office

when she was telling the principal what I had said, she was like, luckily Brandon didn't get it. I remember that well. She's like, thank goodness, Brandon didn't understand what he meant and what I heard his little feelings. And I remember thinking like, little things. That guy's huge.

Little feelings. I think some white lady adopted him and he's playing football now. I wonder if he hit like 9th grade and was like, wait a minute. he was in jail by then i'm serious all the black kids i went to school with had like two paths and it was mostly jail they almost all of them went to jail by the time i was 20 um and like long-term jail for assault and robbery and and attempted murder like yeah like the one guy uh and like this isn't a black people thing it's just a criminal thing but like no forethought just action

like this guy yeah no planning he was owed some money by the other guy probably for some weed deal we're talking about like $80 or something and so him and his buddies roll up on him on the street the guy's with his girlfriend on the sidewalk they kidnap him off a sidewalk

and keep in mind this isn't a mob this is some idiots in like our country county they kidnapped him off the street and they got him in the car like three or four of them and they beat him up with a hammer like they rough him up with like a like a hammer and one of them's got a gun too, a machine gun.

They have a machine gun and a hammer. So the girlfriend, of course, goes, 9-1-1, yeah, my boyfriend was just kidnapped. A red Honda, yeah, I know who's driving it, and who's in the pasture seat, and who's in the backseat. Yeah, well, they were heading toward McDonald's last I saw. Well, they just go to McDonald's and grab these guys, and now he's doing, like, 20 years for, like, armed robbery, kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon, and, like, you know, the list goes on. And then everybody in the car is cool with that hammer before it all went down. He's like, yeah, I'm cool.

I saw one the other day where this guy's open carrying in a gas station. And I've always said this about open carrying to like my friends and such. Like, somebody just grabbed that bitch off you when you're not looking. That's what happens. This white guys in the gas station, open carrying, black guy pulls his pistol out of his holster and just steals it. And the guy's going, come on, man, don't do me like that. Give me my gun back. And give me my gun back.

and he follows the guy out into the parking lot and I guess tries to wrestle his gun back away from the black guy. Bad move. Black guy shoots him 20 times. Like you hear the gunshots from inside. I count. I questioned the magazine. He had just stolen the firearm.

He had an extended man. Yeah, you could hear it in the parking lot. You could hear it in the parking lot. Bap, but, but, pop, but, but, pop, pop, pop, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, Okay, Martin's question I've asked all night. Did he live? Oh, he definitely died.

Yeah, they killed him. Yeah, I have a feeling. Yeah. I probably wouldn't be carrying my gun holster style like a cowboy where someone could just come up behind me and grab it. But also. A lot of people do. You know, that seems pretty silly. Like, if I walk around the Raleigh area, I think I can count the number of open carries I've seen on one hand, maybe a little more.

I've seen more open carries than that I mean all three of us should have seen a lot like Georgia, Missouri, North Carolina but I've never seen open carry with like a just straight up hanging off your hip that someone could grab out of it. Oh yeah, this guy had in his back pocket by the way

that's kind of open carry you talking about if it's not on your hip like it was on the hip but it has that little strap over it. Oh, I see what you're saying. Well, a lot of people use retention. Well, Kyle, should I understand and wish to proceed on this video? Yeah, you should.

So this guy literally has his pistol in his back left gene pocket just stuck in there And the guy grabs it out of there and eventually kills him there You don't see him die on camera You just see sort of like the first half of the confrontation and then they go out into the parking lot and it's off camera But yeah a lot of people just carry those things in old style leather holsters and stuff Not even retention holsters I told fucking retard having that in his back pocket Yeah I've seen people do that I've absolutely seen people do that

That's ridiculous. It's still a gun, like, be an adult about it. I mean, if somebody's there to do harm, if they're there to rob a place or shoot up a place and they see you, you're the first target, you know? Like, you're the first one they're going to either shoot in the back or do what happened here and they'll just take your gun off of you like a child. You should have had a backup gun.

That was so many shots fired. It goes on forever. Yeah, I don't know why it's I guess it's the recording device it didn't sound like normal shots to me almost like a popping sound than a banging sound but yeah it must be the camera I think it's a gas station audio yeah plus they're outside cameras inside yeah don't do that yeah don't do that what's the UK version of someone pulling your pistol out of your back pocket at the gas station and murdering you with it they pull a spoon on you yeah someone like finding you trying to repair something and they snatch your

scintry. Oh, that's my corkscrew. Don't take my corkscrew, mate. Don't take me corkscrew. I'll call the bobbies on you. They'll show up here. They'll get a good look. And then they'll make a call.

And within 40, 50 minutes, they'll be a fill around here with the pieces in place to take care of it. Even if you did, like, take knives away, knives are like a level of dangerous. I could, what if I carried a Philip head scooter? driver or a hammer like knives aren't that much more

dangerous than those things I don't know you're right if you're trying to randomly assault someone who's unsuspecting a hammer is really no worse than a knife like so they're just kind of hemming themselves into a corner here your lungs is a problem fuck you up yeah

most useful tools are made of metal and could fuck you up if the person holding it has a desire to and so the idea you're banning baseline tools if we're doing some sort of gladiatorial game and there's a knife and a hammer. I'm taking the knife every time. Yeah.

Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to close the distance. I'm going to close the distance in like grapple, and then I can kill from here. I can kill with three inches of movement, and you've got to do these big wind-up. How about this, Kyle?

You have a knife in a small buckler, not a full shield, a buckler. I have a hammer and a net. I don't think you're much of a net thrower, so I'm going to keep the knife. I think no no I'm saying I think I could net you up you've been practicing with this net I'm athletic I can throw a net

then I'm still taking the knife you're you are athletic you can't throw a net I'm gonna net your ass up so fast I'm gonna take one step back look down at your net pick it up no I wait until you get close and you're gonna discover that I am a net'sman I don't I don't throw the net like a retard

you hold on to one side of it and then you bog the other person down I throw it over you and then I pull down while I'm backing up and now you're off balance and now the hammerman's you know taking numbers I want to go. I unsheathed my katana and slice the net in half.

Now what's you going to do? Damn. It's a it's an even tougher net that can't be sliced. I think that net is a very difficult thing to do. That ready aureus net and spear thing would be a very high skill

fighting style, I think. Well, I put hammer and knife. If I'm the Rediarius, that means I get a trident. Ooh, no, I don't want to fight you. You're going to put a trident. With a net in a trident. I'm going to go,

I'm not afraid of the net at all, because again, I don't think you can operate that net, but I'm terrified. What makes you say that? You've never thrown one before? Says, I can't throw a Reiteris net.

You get a practice girlfriend with a comforter. No. You've never seen one before. I hold on to one side of it. I rope you up, pull you down. No. Then I go, there's technique to that ready.

There's a casting motion. There's a grip. There's a whole thing. You wouldn't know what you're doing. Okay, well, then you won't know what the fuck to do with the Murmillo set up.

I know what to do with a blade. I'll hack and slash. Then you're not. You're going to be caught up in the ropes. You're not catching me with that net. You would never net me. It would not happen. I would be to,

first of all, I'm far too agile. Dude, I would love to see this. We picture, hear me out. We give Kyle a real buckler and a magic marker instead of a knife. Taylor gets some sort of nerf thing coated with ink and a real net. That's good. And then we see who gets marked up.

Yeah, you're going to get marked up. I'm telling you, I would. You're going to have it all over your main section. I'm a mock. I would tie up your right hand with my left and I would. stab you in the ribs and that would be the end of it. Would you do that before or after you're on the ground tangled? I would happily let you take me down.

I would happily let you take me down and get into my guard. And again, I would isolate your hand and I would head butt you to death. Oh, I would gladly eat your head butts while I freely stab your midsection. You'll choke on your own teeth. Go for it. Oh, I'll spit my teeth on your corpse after you've been stabbed to death, friend. I'll take my pick of the litter of your bed. What I'm trying to say here is I'll kill you.

We're having a knife fight. What do you think you're going to walk away from this? I've got a hammer. Somebody's going to die. All right. And once you're dead, I'm going to pry out your fancy homemade teeth. And I'm going to put them into my mouth, George Washington style. No, you wouldn't.

Those are my teeth now. Here's your offer. Three inch knife, fixed blade, but it's short. Okay. or baseball bat knife okay a lot of respect for the knife

I understand what the other person has he just described it a baseball bat no no no he was saying he was giving those two as weapons weapon option for you Taylor is right in that styles make fights right

like you kind of don't want to know what you're going against yeah to make a really good decision every time I've seen someone try to use a baseball bat it gets taken away from them and because the other person doesn't have a baseball bat mindset they have a striking mindset or a takedown mindset it immediately goes their way they take your bat away

not that one time i know you'll know the video that's filmed on the roof and you can hear the ping so what happened there was that was a man who knew how to use a baseball bat now that was that was me and six of use now if you are skilled with the implement like if you've played baseball and you not even that like that guy seemingly had sword skills like he fucked them up with that aluminum bat but again i would happily take the knife the knife is a deadly weapon with just a little bit of effort just this this will kill you i love the i love my under in our fight if it's five minutes if the fight is over in five minutes i'm gonna win no because that means we went to the ground and we're going the ground immediately i can't imagine you guys using these weapons and lasting for

over five minutes we're going to the ground immediately we're going like my because we're going to we're both like you know western 20th century 21st century guys like we're going to be posties for the first bit like yeah like like you're going to know that fucking smarts man you think about your decisions you're going to be like eragorn you got to like bat it away yeah no but if it goes less than five minutes and my cardio hasn't had a chance to run me run me dry I think I got a good shot. You remember when Brad Pitt beat the shit out of that guy for being beautiful or some shit? Yes.

You won't destroy something beautiful. I'd destroy something beautiful. Jesus, I've got that knife and you're not taking it away from me. You're not getting it out of my grasp. And if you're going to use the knife to pry the trident out of your belly? All right. If you have to trident, you win.

Once again, if you kill me with the tritet for sure. Okay, let me jump in here. Taylor has a trident. Kyle, don't say gun. what is it that you want now a spear tougher skin probably a spear and a like a shield like a great shield a failence

type shield oh if he if I just had a trident and he had a spear and a shield I think there's no way you take down this spear and shield guy what if you have a net I don't think the spear in the shield I've been talking big but I'm not that confident in my net ability I'm telling worrying of him trying to do the net will be a hindrance to him what if I have two tridents

coming at you? Just spinning in circles with them outstretched now I think that if I had a shield and a sword I could deal with the trident I feel like if I could get inside again you got to get inside and close the distance like if I had like a centurion sword like a

gladius type thing and a and a round shield or something but if he stabs me I feel like I need one of those teardrop shields that goes down and covers my legs because I just imagine him stabbing me in the shin with that tried it. And I'm not tough. I'm going to immediately scream and fall to the ground.

And then he's going to be like, he's going to be poking me. It would be funny in our fight is you're coming at me. I stab you in the leg. It starts bleeding an enormous amount. And I'm like, you're laying there screaming. I'm like, uh, I would be like,

I would be too. Like, I might pass out the side at the side of my own blood. I told you, it's embarrassing. But like, I came down stairs, this is maybe a year ago now, but I think I had, for whatever reason, a blood vessel had broken in my eye and it looked bad.

I could, it didn't feel like anything, but my girlfriend was like, so the white of your eye was very red. Yes, it was, it was, it was, like, it looked like I'd been in a car accident. Like, there was like blood in my eyeball. And my girlfriend was like, oh my God, what's wrong with your eye? And I was like, nothing as far as I know. And I run to the bathroom around the corner and look. And just the shock of seeing my eyeball full of blood, oh, dude, I got lightheaded and dizzy and pale.

And, like, I had to, she was like, you just turned so pale. I'm like, you freaked me out. I was fine. She should have broached that differently. I thought I was having like a brain aneurism and I was dying or something. Like, I turned so pale and clammy, I almost passed out. It's so easy to make fun of, but I guarantee, like, if I had an eye blood vessel burst, I would also have like a short period of panic

looking in the mirror like after this tonight or like, I've never seen it before. Does this mean I'm going to die? Does this mean like something horrible has gone on inside me? And now this is step one. It was like the whole thing was just like a spider web of blood. And it wasn't, obviously it wasn't my eyeball wasn't bleeding outwardly, but it was blood on the inside.

Yeah, that freaked me out a lot. I'd never, I'd seen those, of course, but I'd never experienced it. It didn't hurt. It was just scary to look at. But yeah, I think that I think the knife is a very, very good weapon compared to almost every weapon. I think most people overestimate how effective a baseball bat is because movies and TV shows always like the lady grabs the bat from behind the door and like knocks out some 250 pound guy with one swing. It's like,

why don't you just put his hands up and catch it? Like, I just don't think it's a good weapon unless you really, you got to hit him in the face. And if they grab it, now you're playing tug of war with the bat and like, it's no good. You don't get a second swing. I saw, some like bullshit self-defense video from a girl a couple years ago where it was like use a bat but put a big sock on the end of it so that when your aggressor you know it you're already planning for defeat when you're like obviously I swing so slow my aggressor will grab the bat but then he'll pull the sock off harmlessly and then I can do another enfeebled swing at him where he will now get a good purchase on the bat and I will be raped

like that's what With a bat With Google You're in trouble now I don't like her odds But the idea does sound Like it has some merit Right

Like one second try By a gun Well you're right Maybe this is a good UK tip But like In the land of the free Buy a fucking gun You want to put your

Put your leader hosing On your cricket bat And get out there with that thing It's like classic British thing, Laterhausen and cricket bats, right? Yeah. Wait, are they cricketeers? They're cricketeers, but the Lederhausen's German, obviously. I just think the bat's a terrible weapon.

I think it's taken from you almost every time. It'd be fine if you're smacking somebody in the back of the head. It's great for that. The more I'm thinking, like a trident seems like an awesome weapon. It's like a spear with forgiveness, you know? I think I'd rather have a regular spear. I think it's less apt to get hung in their, clothes or tied up or grabbed like a like a regular spear you could use the trident to like block

blade attacks and whatnot in a way you couldn't with a spear because you got those like two hooks or those two like swooping you know there are those YouTubers who who have pretty full contact battles with with mostly like blunted weapons to try to determine which you know the old matchups like exactly what we're talking about right now they do it and spear and shield wins at everything. It's the best in everything. Like nothing beats spear and shield. I wonder when a spear gets too long. Like, what is the sweet spot in a spear length?

Yeah. Because I make up a number. If it's 15 feet, it's unwieldy. I can't manage it. It's not going well. You can get on the inside. If it's three feet, well, then it's not giving, like, you're getting to me. What is the, six foot?

Maybe two meters? I think I like that. Eight. It depends how heavy. the shaft is how strong you are you know a bunch of bunch of stuff like that right like if i'm fighting someone on a horseback i'd want something different than uh if i was to say mug a guy with a sword in a shield so kyle it seems like what you want zach pull this photo up i just linked it looks like what you would want kyle is the far right or wait looks like there's two secutors in this the guy second from the left or fourth you know

furthest on the right, you want a super long shield and a sword. Yeah, I kind of like that. Because the Murmillo... Look at his leg armor. Like, that alone is going to give me... I'm talking about the swordsman here with the big square shield. Like, that leg armor, like, almost nerfs you completely. Yeah, that would be good.

But, like, what you would be fighting me in is your third from the left. That guy with the holes in his helmet. and the circular shield. Oh, okay, okay. So that's a more millo, and that's who they line up against the ready areas on the far left. And so there's a lot of open meat there.

It's going to come down to who's more skilled than genuinely, because if- That's what I've been saying this whole time. I just, you have no skill with that net. So you essentially, you would be more effective if your opening move was to throw the net away. no i'd have to do something with it you would be you would be like trying to razzle dazzle you

while you try i would happily run into the net and let it completely envelop me just to close the distance and start goring you like i want to get inside of that eight foot reach you've got with that spear like once i do that i don't care if i'm netted we're going i mean after looking at the picture it seems like the thing i chose on the far left is by far the hardest way to win it's yeah oh yeah it's definitely the most skillful um um um like pre class that is awesome though that like isn't that kind of sick that rome had classes because over a little bit of time they were like okay well obviously we can't put these guys against these guys or we blow through our stock in no time and nobody's entertained we got

to do a little bit of finagle i don't think death was was always the outcome or even the no not even most outcome yeah i think most of the time time you ask for mercy and they stopped short of death because I think these glad gladiators were like sports stars of their day. Obviously there were executions

in the arena. Kyle, you're a girl in this scenario. Pick three of them. Kill Mary fuck. That's tough. Two of them are almost identical. Wait, these guys? Mm-hmm. Oh. Then killin number one,

Mary number two, fuck number three. okay sure why not i i i see no discernible difference between them and as far come on look at the swag three brings to the party the marmillo helmet is by far the best okay you're just making up words now marmillo is the style with the arm arm of the circular shield and the short sort there yep i do agree the guy on the far left the ready areas no helmet that feels like on oversight kill that guy everybody i don't want a helmet No, I don't want a helmet at all. I'm the only one here man enough to play this game.

That's the other thing. I would not wear the helmet. All of them. I submit. You win. In the arena. I wish we'd bring the arena back. I don't think it's impossible that we circle back around.

Yeah, we're looking for someone to do with the homeless. Exactly. Like if you've ever read. Jesus Christ. Yeah, like a running man. We should do the running man for real. They're remaking the running man again. They're making another movie.

of it. I think it's a Stephen King book. Schwarzenegger made the first one back in the 80s. They should get that Jack Reacher guy to play it. I think it's already cast and filmed and everything. I think it's like a regular-sized human being. But I agree. Anything that Reacher is a good stand-in for any of Arnold's old roles

if you're trying to like maintain like big giant man who can handle the predator or something like that. That Reacher guy is enormous. Is he? He looks. When I was watching that other movie, the ungentlemanly warfare movie

he's so much bigger than the other people it's comical I think that's intentional though like when I think of him in Reacher I don't know the character actor's name but he's like kind of a small black guy he's a detective yeah he was cast to make Reacher look huge that woman makes Reacher look huge

Reacher's 6 3 that's tall but it's not like like if I stood next to him he wouldn't tower over me I thought he was 6 4 years 5 really The story was, I know he's 6.3 because he tells this story where he auditioned for the role of Reacher, who's supposed to be 6.5, and he was worried that that discrepancy would be an issue. Yeah, Henry Cavill's in that movie, and I think of, and he's like, obviously bigger than Henry Cavill, who's pretty big. I think he's 6.1 or something. But they made Gandalf look bigger than the dwarf.

Those hobbits and everything. Sure. Sure. They've also got some. thing of like I feel like a lot of actors are doing like Hollywood height and so a guy who's like a sincere true blue 6-3 is going to look massive versus a bunch of extra cast who are like yeah I'm 5-11 they're 5-9 like they're just knock it like Tom Cruise isn't he like five six or five seven I think I heard Tina Faye say like when you when you meet like a big deal actor they're even better looking than you thought they're even more charismatic than you predicted and they're always shorter than you would expected. I could see the short one. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I'm a big time celeb. I think of Stallone is small too.

Like, like how tall is Sylvester? Definitely not small, but short, right? Like, he's broad as a fucking barn door. Yeah,

510 is what's claimed here. 510 isn't short. Although I see him here next to Stephen Seagall and he's, he doesn't look small next to Segal somehow. Like 6-4 or something like huge. Yeah. That's his belt.

Yeah. That's his diameter. Largely spherical. Stevenson is all such a piece of shit. Kyle. I'm concerned. I think DDP is going to get smashed. I think it's going to be hard to find 15 consecutive seconds where DDP looks good.

Huh. Well, I think if you can weather the first round, that's going to be a real big test. Because I think I talked about. by the stat the other day, maybe on PKN, that like, there's this chart of Comzat's last, say, five, six fights, and his first takedown occurs in under 60 seconds in every one of them. And in, like, a successful takedown, not a shot, but he opens all of his fights with an open double leg, like he lunges, lurches, and goes for a double leg, and that he works for

and keeps going with, even if he doesn't quite sink it, like, as well as he should, have and gets them down in under a minute in every one of his fights. Drickus is big. I think Drickus is bigger than Bobby Knuckles. What's his name? Robert Whitaker. I was shocked that he beat Robert Whitaker because I thought of Whitaker is like the number two, number three guy in the world perennially.

He was. Just the gatekeeper of all gatekeepers, the guy. I thought of him as the guy who would be champ if Israel Adasanya weren't champ. for all those years and Kamsat smoked him in a way that i'd never seen before and i like like this happens a lot with fighters it sometimes somebody will win a few in a row and you'll think they're the the world beater and sometimes they'll lose a few in a row and you'll think that they're trash and neither one of those are true they just had like a bad moment or a freak thing happened

so i don't know but i got i got to say i'm scared i'm scared for ddp i saw them meet and shake hands they're about the same size seemingly. I didn't think, and I saw, I saw Comza and D.C. outside of a hotel. Yeah. And he picked D.C. up

and spun him around 360 degrees. I do that with six-year-olds. Right? He made D.C. look like a child. D.C. is 300 pounds. And he picked D.C. up like, it wasn't a very big deal. Like,

like he spun him fast and hard. Maybe. a rotation and a half, like, that, when I saw the legs are going wild from the centrifugal force. And he's like, you didn't pick up another man. You don't spin a man around. What is this? What like, then he was holding Cosmot. Like, like, he's like, like, like, he's made of wood or something, right? Like, like he was recognizing what Cosma. And I know, I've seen it disputed, but they're like, ah, that shake, handshake to me, Cosmott looked like you could put his head on top of DDPs, right?

He looked way bigger to me. And he was closer to the camera and I understand how perspectives can trick you. And they showed some other perspective where DDP was in the foreground. Cosmott still looked bigger. I need to see him together fighting. We'll get the face off tomorrow. And so we'll see. I can't wait.

We're going to the Patreon hangout, right? I told Jackie already. Of course, of course. Yeah, we're going to be in the Patreon watching the fight this weekend, Saturday night. I'm very excited for it. I need to see where it is. It might be an Abu Dhabi or something, so it might be at a weird time.

I'll check. I'm going to check right now. I don't know who's going to win. I would bet on DDP because I just hate Kamsat. Uh-huh. But I am very worried. I think Kamsat is favored. Not a huge betting favorite.

Oh. Okay. That's about even. Normal time, I think. Yeah. And the, oh, oh, I'm putting this full screen. What is that flag on the right? I know you've told me that comes up.

No, no, I know left is South Africa, but right. Oh, that's, that's probably UAE or United Arab Emirates or it's one of those. It's one of those Middle Eastern countries, Abu Dhabi, or Abu Dhabi is in the UAE, right? They look. I think so. They look really close. I think I give commons on a very small high. edge but yeah I don't think it's not going to matter DDP is so muscular he might be he might

displace more water says he's Russian but that is not the Russian flag yeah he's bounced around from a few places he has he was out he was fighting out of Sweden maybe for a while yeah UAE you're correct and then I think the UAE like bought him essentially I heard that that it's those Saudis who were going to finance the John Jones fight John Jones wanted $30 million to fight Tom Aspinall, and they were like, cool, we got it. And he's like, oh, shit, well, never mind then. I changed my mind. I love that about John Jones's legacy.

He named a price in an effort to dodge Aspinall. They said, you got it. And he's like, I take it back. I retire. I declare bankruptcy. Did he really? He said, you give me $2 million. I'll fight this.

30 million. 30 million. Two million is the kind of thing that a semi-known star might get in the UFC. Connor McGregor would get like a 10 million, the biggest star of the UFC's ever seen. He asked for triple that and he got it. And then he's like,

never mind, you can't make me fight him. So he really is terrified of this guy. Right after he retired, it's so funny. Right after he retired, that's when Trump and said, that he wanted a UFC fight on the lawn next July 4th and John Jones was like oh I won on that I am

unretired and Dana White's like no we're good no we don't think I could trust you for a big fight like that and like burnt him publicly so that's I mean that doesn't even feel like a burn as much as like protecting your business interests like yeah you're gonna you're probably going to back out so no we're not going to slate you for this yeah

yeah he's backed up before Chale Sunnet I think the that's true that the paramount deal is going to be good for the fans, though, I think. I'm looking forward to that. I don't think it kicks in until next year, maybe 2026. Maybe it may, I think that's what I read. 7.7 billion, seven years. Paramount Plus, if you don't already have it, I think it's like, I think the junior version is eight bucks and maybe no ads is 12. I really don't know off the top of my head. I have it. I love it. It's got all the Star Trek stuff and some other shit I watch. So that's going to be great for

the UFC. The UFC's about to explode in popularity. It's not, because, before if you wanted to if you wanted to watch and you weren't going to steal which I think is a pretty big barrier to entry to a lot of people they don't know how to steal it or where to go what sites it is a little sketchy they're not in our Patreon

they've only ever stolen UFC stuff I've never paid they don't know to do that so this is going to be huge to have especially the four fights a year that I'm sure will be great cards that will be simulcast on CBS it's going to bring a whole bunch more people in because before like I said

you had to be an ESPN plus subscriber at 12 bucks a month just for the privilege of giving them $80 for a pay-per-view and I mean I'm a I'm a big UFC fan but no thanks I'm not they're not worth $80. You haven't made an $80 card in a couple years like maybe once a year there's a card that I that I'm like oh yeah that's 80 bucks worth there for sure yeah yeah yeah a night of stars but they don't do that much anymore I can't remember buying a UFC card and feeling like it was a good use of my money. The closest, when we watch it at the movie theater,

that was good. That was like $12 and I felt like it was well spent. Of course. But it's 60, 80 at home, I always am like, now the $80 is gone. It's over and it just didn't feel like a good buy. Every single one of these Aspinall highlights

and finishes I'm watching in these compilations feels like he's trick shot. people like K-Oing them like he's not it doesn't seem like he's trying that hard even and if he just fought some guy named Baudot B-A-U-D-O-T beat the ever-living shit out of him and like almost seemed like he pulled up at one point and was like actually I want to try this note one thing one thing to notice is you're going through the highlights look at the bottom center at what round they're in it will say first round every time yeah he doesn't know anything about second round those are all first round not you know how fucking tough you have to

be to have tattoos as bad as this these are horrible tattoos he's got like a fucking Sicilian landscape on his chest and he's beating people half to death yeah Aspinall's a bad motherfucker um you're gonna ban him in the UK he's a potential danger

how they're letting him walk the earth over there they can't have a flashlight too much Taylor scrolls down there's a column for what round the fight was over it's like one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one Two, one, one, one, one, two, one, two, one, one, two, one, one. Okay, so he's had three fights in his career go to the second round. Uh-huh.

When was the most recent? Two thousand, twenty-one, against Andrei Arlovsky. Arvlovsky. Yeah, that guy's a very experienced fighter. Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker. Oh, whoa, this guy's a nose is fucked. He's big. John Jones has always been a six-foot-four fighting people who sometimes who are 5'10.

And then he still pokes him in the eye and kicks their obliques to try to bend their knee backwards and shit like that. Tom Aspinall is bigger than John Jones, like significantly taller than John Jones. Like there's that great moment. He walks up to John and puts his hand on John's shoulder and it's like, oh, because you'd never seen them next to each other before and you're like, oh. And I think John Jones didn't realize because he, maybe he'd never been that close to him before and he's just like hi oh no yeah i'm glad that happened to john jones i wish they fought and he'd gotten smoked it sucks that they're never going to fight it's going to they still could fight right like john jones could need that millions of dollars

pay out and join in john jones just did a reality show where he got the best payday of his whole like professional career he's fine okay he doesn't live extravagantly either he has a regular house and Vegas. But he also doesn't like he doesn't defend his title and so that will just naturally... He's retired. Okay so he doesn't have a title. John Jones might need money

because God created hookers and cocaine. I think he does... I don't think he's into the hookers because every time I see him with like one of his side chicks it's just a regular looking gal. They're probably more expensive than hookers. Cocaine's cheap

you know, like he's good. No, sluts. Sluts, that can't be free. Sluts and cocaine are borderline free. Trust me. I'm watching Aspenol right now, covered in the blood of some even bigger than him, Ginger. Yeah.

Just destroying him. He's a nice guy, too. He's got a YouTube channel where he's fairly active, just kind of trying to stay relevant. But, you know, he'll talk about what his favorite potato chips are and content like that, you know. I mean, this guy's fuel. on what beans on toast

imagine if he had like good food not British food it'd be super heavyweight if he was American he'd be fat as hell they'd be super heavy weight look thin I'm annoyed that there's a cap on heavyweight fighters the 265 weight cap is bullshit

because someone like Shaq is who I'd like to see is my heavy weight I honestly freaks not sure I would be okay if there was a whole other division for freak fights where you could have like a seven foot tall skinny guy versus a five foot tall like yeah like yoked guy like and two midgets and and and and a ready aureus like i'd watch that but i also am kind of annoyed that 265s are cut off because there's people who can't make that weight they can't cut down enough to make 265 who would rock lesne used to struggle that's insane

yeah i like that they didn't make gloves in Brock Lesnar's size. They had to special make gloves for Brock Lesnar. His hands were so gigantic. Yeah. I remember that being like a little thing my buddy told me in like 2008. The glove thing. Yeah, the glove thing where he was like we were going to my buddy's house to watch. I'd never seen or heard of UFC. And he was like, oh, you know, Brock Lesnar. This guy's from WWE. He's so big. They had to custom make gloves for him. And I'm like, wow, this guy must be a monster. And then it was just him clearly not being as good at fighting. as whoever they put him up against but just being like a mammoth of a man i remember him on top of his opponent and i was like if you were to show me a snapshot of this i would say this is one man bent over on on like the tarp or whatever they call it on the octagon did he win there was there was a whole yeah he beat the shit out of this guy he he hammer fisted him in a way that felt disrespectful

just beat the tar out of this guy. He was a UFC champ and he was also an NCAA wrestling champ like I think multiple years. And that's hard. Those guys are tough as hell. Yeah. Yeah. He's so big and athletic. He was terrifying to watch fight.

I was glad that he lost. I never liked him personally. He just seemed like a douchebag. It doesn't seem like a nice man. He seems like a piece of shit. Dude, sometimes it feels like Aspinall could hit them one time less here. the amount of energy going into every one of these hits. I just watched a sort of compilation video.

So first there's Ben Ascreen and Jorge Masfidol. And everyone knows Masfadol, like he hit him in the knee in the head. But then afterwards, he punched Ben Ascran, who was like looking dead on the canvas. And Jorge Masfadol punched him two or three more times to really just punish him because it was personal and then in the news conference asked him afterwards they're like did you like maybe give some extra punches like extra punches i don't stop punch until the ref pulls me off he's like that didn't seem necessary he was they were super necessary okay fast forward masfadol fights kamar ouzman and kamar ozman i think he likes ben ascgrin and uh he beats the

dickens out of uh horay masfadol and then wall masfadol is um unconscious on the mat, Usman beating the crap out of his unconscious body. And they're like, it seemed like there was some extra. He's like, extra, what do you mean?

That was super necessary. And I'm like, I know what you're saying. I get it. I get it. I don't like those. I wish they wouldn't do that, you know?

Like you can tell when you've got a guy out. I think it shows insecurity and rage and like like, weakness to, like, give them those extra two or three shots while they're down. I think it's a bad look for the UFC and the ref. I don't think it's good to, like, get new fans. I'm there for violence, but I don't want to see a guy who's unconscious get hurt. I agree. The only twist is that if it's a submission, I don't mind them holding it until the ref pulls

him apart. Absolutely. Break his arm, tear his knee out, tap or go out. Like, it's up to you. Like, you have so much. Those guys are familiar with those holes. They know that they know when their knee is about to get torn out. They know if that locks,

if that heel hooks in or whatever. If they don't tap, then they've signed up to be a cripple. Like, tap and it'll be over. Yeah, they're rolling the dice that they, like they know there's a chance they'll get hurt or they'll get out.

And they're taking that chance, knowingly, consciously, etc. It's not like an unconscious man getting punched. They're like, I'd rather risk getting hurt than lose. And sometimes,

that risk doesn't pay off. Yeah, absolutely. No, I'm looking forward to the fights this weekend. I don't even know what the rest of the card looks like. I didn't care, I guess, enough to even look too deep into the card, but that Comzot fight has me. I've been watching it. I've seen every one of his fights, and I'm always upset watching him.

I hate him so much. So every fight he wins, just dominantly, just crazy dominantly, and embarrasses my guy. You should like him. Then he gets on the mic, and he starts screaming about Israel, neither of you can grow a mustache you have that in common he's got like that crazy hair lip thing which just disgusts me I hate this is a childhood injury you're mocking

I know it's a childhood injury that makes it worse yeah well then fucking walking Phoenix that shit up yeah get it fixed sewed up he's got those UAE friends I'm sure they could get that thing sewed up yeah they managed to convince people that Dubai chocolate is like a pistachio-filled chocolate. Like that's pretty impressive. They can do anything. Yeah. I see that more and more by the way.

Like I want to say, I brought that up months ago about the Dubai chocolate. And I see that on Reddit regularly now, where they're explaining that that is what's going on. And I also see more about the Port-a-Pottie girls. I see a lot of stuff about that on TikTok and on Reddit. Have you seen the Dubai

chocolate at like local gas stations and stuff? Because I've seen it on a little display near the checkout at like fucking quick trip or mobile on the run i haven't seen it to the gas station but it's like $11 for a chocolate bar that says do buy chocolate and it's like a bunch of you know pistachios in the middle i mean i know what do buy chocolate is um 11's pretty cheap i've seen it for $50 a bar oh fuck well either way it doesn't look that great i'm sure the you know bog standard candy is just as good i don't like pistachios so kind of lost on me don't like also don't like any shit on.

No. Not at all. Well, I think you're wrong. I think pistachios are pretty good. I don't. I don't think they're good at all. I wish they didn't exist. Did you give them a fair shake?

Did you give them a fair shake? I don't have we ever had a pistachia if I'm being on. We've never had a few pistachia. Did you just see a green nut and you're like, not for me? Looks gross, man. I don't think I've ever seen one. They're good. I don't think I've ever seen one.

seen a pistachio What he is team pistachio I've never seen one I don't know what they look like I mean I've seen them on the internet Are you not team just fucking Pisterio? As far as you know I am

I'm alone On an island I think there's a lot Like a pistachio has good stuff in it But somehow there's mixed in crap in it It's like eating A shrimp And there's poop in it

That's what the pistachio is in the world of nuts. There's a skin on the outside. There's the shell, which is a pain in the ass. No, Taylor probably laughs. Pistachio shells.

This is rookie league. But the shells are painting the ass if you're not buying them unshelled. And then it has like a skin in it. And then even if you smush it, it is not homogeneous inside there, like a cashew, the king of nuts.

That's fair. And you will get no pushback from me about cashew being the king of nuts. Because anyone who knows anything about nuts knows that cashews are the most flavorful. They're the fattiest. They're delicious. There's a reason they're so expensive. Cachews rock. They're fantastic.

Then by that measure, the macadamia nut is the greatest of nuts, as I would say. No, macadamia nut is better as an addition to other things. Most expensive of the nuts, two of your, two of your criteria for a great nut. I didn't know you would use that against me. And so I ran ag on all of that. It's better because it tastes better. Now that I know that I know that there's a fatty or not

I'm safe to eat cashews again It was this close I'm actually losing weight What's the worst nut? The worst nut is the Brazil nut I have a ton of Brazil nuts In my kitchen right now And I didn't realize

That you can't eat a lot of them at a time Because they're so rich in potassium and selenium That it can be bad for you Yes And so I've been like I eat like two Brazil nuts a day. And I'm like, and this bag's going to last me fucking years because I ordered a giant bag off Amazon. Brazil nuts taste good, but they're not even in the same league. Brazil nuts. Brazil nuts are

they taste all right, but they're not in the same. I'm betting that bag does not stick around until 2026. Well, guess what? I've had it for a while and only on like four occasions have I eaten an entire handful. And then I thought in my head in my head, I'm like, uh, That's a lot of selenium. This internet article says that one Brazil nut has a whole day's worth of selenium. Maybe I'm getting too much, but I won't let that stop me. But they don't taste any better. That's a normal person.

Selenium recommendation. You're superman. The normal amount. The thing about Brazil nuts is they don't have the same or even as good a flavor profile as cashews or all. if the almonds have good salt on them or even peanuts i know kyle you should be like standing up for peanuts because you're from georgia oh we're allowed to use i think paint peanuts rule yeah peanuts are great i love peanuts are cashews legumes have in my head they might be yes i think i think every cashew is in like this weird casing that they have to pry the casing open

and then get each they're not individual cashew is that not right they're fruit called a droop God They're the seeds of a fruit called a droop The cashew apple I didn't know Yeah because it's like a red looking thing That looks like a cashew but it's big And you have to cut into all those

And get the cashew out I like the macadamia nut And then the cashew then the pecan then the peanut That's my that's my goat list Of nuts You would just snack on pecans Before you'd snack on peanuts A pecan is not a snacking nut

A pecan is a pie ingredient Yeah, a pecan is a high ingredient. When I would hunt, we would often hunt in pecan orchards, and so you'd be sitting under pecan trees, and as you waited on the birds to come, I would, you know, eat pecans, like sit there under the pecan tree and eat them right up the tree. I like pecans, especially if you're cracking them yourself.

If you're sitting under, if I'm sitting under any sort of nutted tree where I can just eat off of the tree, I'm going to think it's awesome. And so that's fair. But if I'm sitting at home and I'm watching a television show or something, and I have like a snacking nut I'm never going to pick pecans I'm going to pick cashews

or I'm going to pick peanuts and I'm going to make sure that the peanuts have a shell on them so that it slows me down I don't want the shell and if I would like them either honey roasted or like spicy like something really hot on them that's what would slow

I would rather be slowed down by like spice than a shell like make them so hot that I can only eat them in like sparingly That only stops some people from eating too many. You're doing that Homer Simpson trick and coating your mouth with wax to shovel down more hot peanuts. So I can go eat hot peppers from Chief Wiggum's chili.

They're cultivated by the insane, insane asylum patients of the dark island of Diablo or some shit. That was the episode where they made them clean where March is like, you have to clean the house before you go out. He's like, Marge, it's a chili cookoff. And he's dancing around in his fucking cowboy boots. I'm not a big chili person either. Oh, they were the, um, Chief Wiggum uses Guatemalan insanity peppers. That is the episode, yes.

As the merciless peppers of Quincycalatengo. That is the episode where Homer takes so many spicy peppers that he hallucinates. And then Johnny Cash is the. fox in the desert and he is the uh the voice yeah coyote he is the coyote yeah his spirit god these peppers are described to have been grown in a jungle by inmates of the guatemalan insane asylum and they are exceptionally hot that they're grown by the inmates of an insane asylum it's a very funny bit of war dude early simpson's rules it's the best cartoon show ever oh i wanted to talk about King of the Hill a little more because I know you didn't like it so much. I looked at the

Rotten Tomatoes. Everybody loves it. They're calling it the greatest animated revival of all time. It's gotten really good viewership too. It was like six or eight million views per episode or something like that. Something good. I didn't like it though. I really didn't. I watched two episodes and I was done. I didn't like a lot of it. The voice changes are kind of that bothers me like like dale doesn't sound right um like you said con doesn't sound right at all so like i'm not going to watch the rest of it i'm checked out kind of ashamed it's a shame it's a shame that actor died because that voice just doesn't sound right and then also like peggy doesn't even sound right like peggy doesn't sound right well they sound old it's the

same thing the simpsons have gone through where the voice actors like through no fault of their own that's how time works they just get older and so they can't do the voice in the same way. And that is definitely a factor. Mike Judge, who does the voice of like Hank and a number of other characters, he does a better job keeping it together and like tighter. But I don't agree with the reviews saying it's awesome. But I also don't, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Like, I watched the first episode and a half or so and then tweet it out like, this shit's fucking soulless trash. Awful. And then I watched the rest. rest of the season and there are

if you're a King of the Hill fan the way I am we're like I love that show I love all the characters and the lore and everything there are enough moments throughout the new show that are kind of reminiscent of the old show that you'll probably get a kick out of it you'll probably like it there are little

moments here and there but as a whole Khan is gone Dale is gone John Redcorn is now gone Boom Howard doesn't sound right Boom Howard doesn't sound right that's another Mike judge thing where like he hasn't he's the voice of boomhauer he doesn't do his good a job be tying it in he's been damn playing on just indiscernible man and kind of talking funny now

understand thing i'm fucking hard to say you know a lot of people talking about how do i know like that dang oh man the whole joke was we couldn't understand what you were saying man yeah and now you kind of can i don't understand a fucking word you say joke i'll i'll give some so as a whole not nearly as good as the original nine seasons of King of the Hill even excluding those slightly later ones that they came back for to make not nearly as good as that

if you're looking for that watch the old ones but there are moments where particularly Joseph is great Hank is great Bobby has some redeeming moments the character I really dislike that I feel like they did her dirty

was Connie. Like, Connie is totally unlikable and she sucks in the new episodes. Like, why,

why make her that unlikable? Kyle, you're muted. I know. I'm yelled at a dog. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I don't think Connie,

her character didn't translate well. They tried to, like, launder some, like, new-ish topics through her where she's like

in a, in a, what do they call it a polyamorous ethical relationship where she's basically just getting dicked down by a bunch of guys and pretending it's not weird and she tries to present that to bobby and he's in his same bobby hill 12 year old voice being like that's weird like that kind of shit you're a whore you're a fucking whore but i'm gonna tell you're dead she couldn't tell her dad because con's gone con's gonna honor kill you now that'd be great

con is gone the hilarious that was con super nuisance bomb is gone because of some like and it was woke shit that got rid of con obviously it was death that got rid of dale and death that will in the future get rid of john redcorn because he did all his voices for this season yeah but man they they really dropped the ball on a few things but I am so much a fan of the King of the Hill universe that I will continue to watch it because every, every, it's just a little, a little snack here and there that is reminiscent of the old show and the way they engage with each other. Also something I don't like is

Hank is far more apathetic in the new one. Perhaps that's meant to be a consequence of age and whatnot. But he's much more apathetic, much less. less like principled taking a stand kind of guy. Yeah. And like it's not even a woke thing in that regard because back in the original show, like Hank would sometimes take a stand for something that nowadays would be seen as progressive. It's more about him not taking a stand anymore the way he used to. Like he's not asserting that person out.

And, you know, he's supposed to be like 65 now or something, I'm sure. A show that has been doing well and is reviving his South Park. like they hadn't done a season in a couple years until they got their paramount deal straight and now so they usually do an episode a week but they did that first trump episode and they took a week off and i think they took the week off maybe to let it like you would a good youtube video to let it grow and let it let it sit out there and be the thing and they've done it again the the second week for the same reason i think because the so they've no it's because they're rich as fuck and they don't want to make a episode every week that's why Um, well, I mean, it's in their, I don't know about that. I think they're, they've to make an episode a week in their contract, then they've already lapsed on it twice. I don't think they have to. I'm, I'm sure that Paramount is happy with what's going on because the, the viewership is higher than it's been in like five or six years or something like that. It's real high. It's like six or seven million an episode or something. And it was funny

because Trump was giving them shit. And he's like, oh, the failing has been show of South Park. And it's like, dude, they just signed a gigantic deal. These two, these two, these two, these two, are the richest comedians of all time now, the most successful animated show of all time now, the longest running animated show second only to the Simpsons, right, of all time now. They're not the ones to pick a fight with.

They are the hammer of fucking absurdity that you don't want to run into. And plus, I think, to say that Trump Streisand affected it, I think is an exaggeration because it was going to get seen, but he helped it. And then Christy Noem, the second week, of course. Like, Christy Noem has tried to lean into it.

She's like, used her South Park avatar, I think, but she put, like, laser eyes in it or something like that. But it's like, no, dude, they dumped on you for 20 minutes. I saw that. And she didn't even center the laser eyes right. Ridiculous. But also, like,

Trump is fucking late to the party. Because I maintain South Park has not been great since Tegrity Farms. Yeah, I don't agree with you there. What year was that? 17, 18. Oh, is it? This year. Taylor, have you seen it? I have not watched it. The Tegrity Farm shit turned me off so much from South Park that I really haven't dabbled.

What is Tegrity Farms? I don't know about it. It was where they changed the format of the show where now Stan and his parents were no longer in South Park. They were running a weed farm called Tegrity Farms, like Integrity as a joke. And that's when they initially started the overarching plots for the whole season. instead of what was previously, largely one-off, like, hey, we make these shows week to week. We have a hilarious idea for a premise. Let's flesh out a show from here.

And that's when South Park was at its peak, is, you know, those many years where they would just have the impetus, a funny idea. And then they fleshed it out into an episode with no concern about how that would, you know, spread into other episodes. It was when they went for the overarching seasons that South Park fell off. integrity farms is exactly where that happened so i don't mind the overarching seasons and i don't think tegity i don't think it's necessarily linked with tegherty farms i actually like randy going to tegaret what i don't like is that when they were they had all that contract stuff between paramount comedy central and maybe viacom the parent company or whoever and um they were doing those specials so what they did woody is instead of doing like a whole season they would give them these

hour long specials and uh they often centered around roundtegrity farms and that i didn't love there there's there's like four or five of those there's a pandemic special um there was there was the the woke special where they replaced the the guys with like black and brown women and there's a few different ones i didn't love all those there was the streaming one um i didn't like those too much but i like randy having a weed farm and being out on the weed farm it doesn't change the flow of the show at all it totally changes because we almost because we never really Randy being a geologist

didn't factor into the show Stan not being around he's around Kyle and Cartman as much as he is changes always around them you don't he's always around them him being out on the farm didn't change any of that at all they said they come to the farmhouse and they play Warhammer 4a

I watched the Tegrity Farm season and it sucked and this was 2018 I'm checking and so that's when they made their foray into long number that season is Taylor? 22nd season, season 22.

Okay. So when things went, the problem, when I saw a drop in the show and when I thought the storyline went bad was after, so what they did was they had this whole member Barry's storyline that was leading up to Trump running for president in 2016. And when he won unexpectedly, it ruined their storyline. Because everything had been leading towards. a Hillary win and a Trump loss.

Why was it ruined? It was ruined because they were trying to do an overarching plot that involved modern politics instead of doing the fucking tried and true formula. Yeah, I'm agreeing with you about, I'm agreeing with you in this one instance. That is where the overarching storyline messed up because they did, they mispredicted the Trump win. And so they were left with a weird storyline that didn't make sense all of a sudden. it got it they didn't know what to do because now mr garrison's the president you know he wasn't supposed to become president he was supposed to lose should have to go on week to week i i don't mind

the overarching storylines except for how the member barry thing um sorted out after trump won then it the wheels went off the the rails or whatever i think that's also the season where um kyle's dad is like an online troll named skank hunt and he's saying the most awful things He got that, the lady has like a breast, a double mastectomy and he's, he's like, he's making these jokes about doctor, where's my tits or something or, or, like he's, he makes fun of this woman who had a breast cancer so much, she kills herself and it becomes this whole thing. Yeah. That, that, that season was bad. I didn't like that. I don't mind the overarching storylines, though.

I'm not saying that there are no funny moments. Obviously, they're funny guys. There are funny moments in South Park still. I'm sure. It's just that formulaic change that happened, I guess, in 2018 has lessened the show for me. Like, after I watched that Tegrity season, or that, yeah, I guess that Tegrity season in 2018, six, seven years ago, I just kind of lost interest. It was like, these aren't the characters I fell in love with. This isn't the structure that I think is a winner structure. I just don't like it. I like it even more than the old episodes,

Because I feel like, I feel like, no, you're just, you're biased. No, Scott Tenerman Must Die, watch, canceled, watch, watch, you don't, I watch so much more South Park than you. Like, like, like, I probably watched 30 episodes this week. Like, I watch a lot of South Park. The old episodes are fucking fire. I go back and watch the whole thing through. I've seen it all many times. And I'm telling you, as we've grown up and matured, our favorite characters or my favorite characters, used to be Kyle and Stan.

And Cartman, to a lesser extent. I really liked when he went really off the word at rails evil. Now it's, it's, um, it's, um, Stan's dad. Randy, it became Randy. As the audience matured and grew up and became men and older men, all of a sudden, I identify more with Randy than I do an eight-year-old foul-mouthed kid, you know? So like, I like the Randy episodes. I like that his story gets to open up and expand and he's got this, this weed thing going on.

I like the weed stuff. That's fine. Randy, Randy, Randy, like Towley being in there a lot. Talley, I can hit or miss, but like, Randy is a hilarious character. The old episode where Randy feels the need that he has to fight every single other dad

at the Little League games or otherwise he won't, like, be a man or something. That's like a great example of a Randy heavy one-off episode. That's hysterical. That's one of my favorite episodes where he has to fight the Bat Dad at the very end. That's hilarious.

I can't remember. They just, they fucked up the formula. Bad Dad's voice is a song. celebrity, I think. Who voiced Bat Dad. I am the Bat Dad. Yeah, it's Diedrich Bader. It's the guy who just, I'm Rex.

I'm Rex. I'm under Rex Cuando, you're going to learn the 3-10. It's Rex Kondo. In my two years in the Octagon, I learned all it. It's that guy. He's Bat Dad. That's funny. And see, that was an excellent episode. It's just when they feel the need to tie in a lot of They're getting to

It's last. Did you see the Japanese toilet episode? What they're? Randy, Randy goes to buy a new toilet called old because old blue as he calls it has like given up the ghost his old toilet has like a wooden seat that screwed on and it's all hanging sideways he buries it like a dead dog he's like oh blue gave us all it good and he goes to get a new toilet and they're like he's like are these all the toilets here he's like well these are all the american toilets what do you mean well we keep the japanese toilets in here with he pulls out like a key card would you like to take a look well i suppose and like swipes a card and they go into like a

palace of like decadence that has the Japanese toilets and he's like would you like to try one on besides like oh kudar he has this whole scene where he has like a fantastic shit and he has to take out alone to bring home a Japanese toilet and and like I like that episode everybody's coming over to shit in his toilet that's funny there's some good ones I think you should give a chance it's on your Plex by the way all this stuff is on Plex maybe I'll watch I just ever since Tegrity Farms it hasn't been the same

that is the moment that is their episode of South Park sound like taking out the garbage that they that is I feel like Tegrity maybe people will identify

earlier episodes or something but I feel like the true Armand Tamzarian moment of South Park was Tegrity Farms Armin Tamzarian being kind of a reference

to the Simpsons where in like season 12 of the Simpsons, they changed something and they said that Principal Skinner was actually not Principal Skinner. He was a guy from the war who pretended to be a guy named Skinner and his real name was an Armenian dude named Armand Tamzarian. And a lot of people watching the Simpsons at the time said this was kind of that watershed moment where they no longer could, yeah, they jumped the shark. Exactly. And so that that's what I see. And that was like, like, you know, give South Park credit.

It was, it was eight, it was eight seasons further in their run than the Simpsons when they had their real Armin Tamzarian moment where they jumped the shark. And they jumped the shark with Tegrity Farms. And it's never been the same. I don't like some of the specials, especially like those paramount one hour long specials that are self-contained. I don't like some of those. But I like the episodic stuff and I don't think Tegrity Farms messes it up. I like it. Because you didn't lose anything. You just got a new thing. It's not like Randy had these storylines about being a geologist where he was finding mole men under the ground or he was solving or he was like predicting earthquakes that were going to make the mini mart fall down and we need to do X, Y or Z. He was just, yeah, I'm a geologist.

That's what I do. I'm a scientist. It's like, okay, moving up, moving along. But now he's like, yeah, I've got a weed farm. I'm in competition with this black guy across the road. He says his weed's like street weed because, and then people are buying it because he's black and nobody wants to buy from a white weed seller anymore. I like all that shit Again, it's not that there aren't funny bits

It's just that the show Doesn't scratch the itch The same way it used to Hmm Well, I like it a lot Like family guys Like this isn't unique to South Park Family Guy has fallen off for many many years

You go watch old family guy That shows fucking hysterical It's really really funny I know you guys aren't as big on family guy I am I've watched so much of it I feel like it was always kind of just bullshit and it still is bullshit. It's funny. I don't think it got much less funny because it never was that funny and it was never funny in a way that was difficult to make funny. All those non-sequiters

all those all those cutaways like you don't need good writing for that. It's just bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, that's fair because family guy does have an easier formula to maintain. It's just that the formula itself becomes worse. Like if you pop on a current family guy, the jokes are worse, the cutaways are worse the bits are worse like it's just not I'm sure the reason family guy isn't very good anymore is because Seth McFarland must have like stepped away he's not nearly as invested in that project yeah yeah you watch the orville at all that's his new show it's been hit or I didn't hear what he said so Seth McFarland has a has a he's a huge Star Trek fan he's actually in an episode he got he did like a little like a cameo in an episode a long time ago um

And I think he always wanted to be a regular in a Star Trek show, and that never happened for him. So he made his own Star Trek show called The Orville. And it's like, it's better than most Star Trek. Like, like, it's pretty good. It's funny. It's kind of silly. It's, yes, it's very silly. It's silly.

It's quirky. And it makes fun of a lot of Star Trek, um, um, uh, tropes. There's a, there's a robot character. There's a Klingon type stand-in character. Um, and there's a lots, like, The robot character doesn't understand practical jokes. So, like, as a practical joke, he surgically removes the guy's leg while he's unconscious. And he's like, ha, ha, ha, I have removed your leg.

And he's like, where's my leg? There's, like, four seasons of it. I think they've been canceled twice already and, like, revived back. But I like it. I think it's pretty good. And it's definitely got, if you like Seth MacFarlane, like, if you like Ted, and if you like his, like, smart-ass sense of humor. Didn't like Ted. You didn't like Ted.

I love Family Guy, though. Wow. Old Family Guy is hilarious. I love Ted. I thought Ted 1 was amazing and Ted 2 was garbage. But I like Ted 1 a lot. I thought that's one of Mark Wahlberg's best roles. What would your top freebie of the adult animated series?

Like, Simpsons Family Guy, American Dad, Futurama, the whole mix. I don't like, see, I don't like Futurama or American Dad. So it's kind of easy for me. I really like a family guy. I really like, I mean, as a kid, as a kid,

it's of course, South Park. As a kid, I was super huge into Simpsons, but I just haven't watched it in probably, fuck,

20 years? Like, not since I was a teenager or something. I don't think I've watched an episode even. Maybe like a full episode, sat down and watched it. I don't think I have. Do you mean of the new episodes,

or you haven't even like sat down and watched like a season? Like, you haven't watched Mr. Plow in 20 years? I don't think so I think maybe I watched I'm crazy they're so funny I did watch a couple of

I like the episode where Homer gets that new job with the Bond villain guy and he's like Homer if it's not too much trouble on the way out if you could kill a few people that would help me out tremendously I like that episode

I like the episode where Homer meets his lost long brother who's voiced by Danny DeVito I watched that one and Danny DeVito's character is like incredibly successful owns his own car company he's like homer i want you to design the car for the regular man because that's what you are you're you're an average joe you're an you're the archetype for the american man you design the perfect car and the homer simpson car is like this famous just just failure it's failure it's it and to look at it it's got that big bubble that you're like

inside of it has tail fins there might be a rocket booster it's it's it's it's got he goes like because you can never find one when you're angry I mean, like the topic's changing, but I want to answer Taylor's question. Number one, best animated show, Invincible. Number two, best animated show, Bob's Burgers. Number three, best animated show, what if on Marvel's? Bob's Burgers over Simpsons? Easily.

Early Simpsons? I wish they could be good. Early family guy? Smashes them. Bogsburger. Early South Park? Bogsburger fucks and dumps any of those shows. You don't like Archer?

I like Archer a lot. Archer's pretty good. Archer is a show that was awesome for three seasons. And then went off the, all the writers on Archer, clearly were like, we don't want to write about this ISIS group anymore. We're going to have him like get concussed every season

and write about fantasy worlds. And it's like, all right, well, I don't care anymore. Yeah, they put him in a coma for like three or maybe even four whole seasons. And they did every season was a different coma dream he was having where all the characters were in completely new settings. and they were all doing completely different things,

and it was a fantasy that he was having in his comatose brain. Hated all that. It's what drove me away from the series. But prior to that, the reason they got away from ISIS was because of the terror group ISIS, which I thought was bullshit. They should have just written it in the show. They're like, they should have gotten confused with the terror group ISIS.

And they're like, make a joke out of it. This has been our name. This has always been our name. They just came up with this. And hey, this is bullshit. We're going to take on ISIS. That should have been in the show.

Archer should have fought ICE. If they were ISIS v. Isis, no one would confuse them with ISIS. Yes. And also, Archer, that's the guy from Bob's Burgers. Of course. He does it. How can you tell? He's like, this is my Bob's Burger voice and this is my Archer voice.

There was an episode of Archer where he's like in the- comedian. He's done that literal bit that you just described. He goes, so first I'm going to do an impression of Bob and Bar Burgers. Hi, I'm Bob from Bob's Berger. For my next impression, Archer from Archer. Hi, I'm Archer from Archer. I think his name is John Benjamin, something like that, the voice actor, which that must be fucking sick to have a voice so epic, you can just talk and be multiple characters that are memorable.

But I'm, Woody, I got to say I'm blown away by the Bob's Berger's placement on that list. That shows laugh out loud, funny in a way that. The other one, are like they're corporate machines. Bob Spurgers is an upstart. It has soul. Season 5 of the Simpsons is not corporate. It's hilarious. It's so good.

I couldn't even name a single episode. Cape Fear. There's a ton of the Cape Fear. Montereil. I don't remember. Okay. Monterell, I know. I don't know if it's five or anything, but that's iconic. This seems more like a Shelbyville kind of idea.

No, no. You tell us your idea, and we will, we will vote for it. Their mayor is just a Kennedy. You know that's Conan O'Brien, right? He's the monorail, he's the guy who does the voice of the monorail man. He sings the song. Many years ago now, I don't know. Good for Conan. He was at some, they did some like Simpson's anniversary show or something. I just remember Conan O'Brien was on stage singing the monorail song, like with full gusto. It was great. Just doing a live performance of it. I had no idea. You almost forget those guys had talent to get the job.

Yeah. Sometimes I am blown away by how talent at Hollywood people are. And then you watch like Star Trek where they do the musical episode. And it's like, two thirds of these guys can sing. And then the other third is very nervous right now. Yeah. That's funny too. They're doing what I did.

They're just just mouthing. They can all dance too. Whenever there's an episode that requires dancing, suddenly you're like, holy fucking shit. Like there's an episode in TNG. Yeah, they're gay theater kids, of course again. Yeah. Beverly's tap dancing, like, at a, like, professional level teaching data to tap dance. Data is a machine, so he immediately, and it's like, wait a minute,

Brent Spiner knows that a tap dance, too, because he, like, mimics or moves perfectly, and it's, like, tap is hard. Like, it's very technical. Like, it's not, like, a waltz where you can just kind of, like, feel your way through it. It's tap. Like, you can hear if there's a mistake. And they're both incredible at it. It's hilarious.

It's hilarious. on Strange New Worlds. They're doing the tango. And it's like, perfect. When you realize that they're all gay theater kids, like Taylor pointed out, like I was watching Game of Thrones behind the scene stuff, right? These are badasses, right?

Guys who serve on the night's wall, the guy with the flaming sword, the guy who's lusts after Brianne. I don't know their names anymore. And then you see him like at the trailer, all singing and cracking jokes and like just being gay theater kids and say, right, I forgot, I forgot.

They all break into song together. Yeah. Just stuff people do. It's ruining my immersion that I would have bullied them. That's why I appreciate the actors that aren't acting at all. Like Danny Trejo, he's just, where do I stand? Yeah, stand right there and look ugly. Gotcha.

He has the same. Gusto, whether he's promoting Axe Body Spray or a brand new movie. And I like that. I like Danny Trejo. He's literally an ex-con. He was in San Quentin, I think, doing time. And I think he got started being as a boxing coach.

Do you feel like he alphas you? Me? I think he's like 5'5, isn't he? He's a little, he's very old and he's very small. He's a little like medium security or something cool, right? Oh, well, I mean, in prison, you know, it's a whole different thing. Even if I thought I could beat up little Danny

Trejo, he would just come back and stab me with his boys, right? Yeah. They have this, I heard, like, some guy who was in a prison gang talking about, like, he was going to fight another guy. And the leader of his gang was like, can you beat him? And he's like, oh, I mean, probably. What are you talking about? Can you beat him?

We don't take else. It's like, if you can't beat him, then we're coming with you and we're going to jump him. Under no circumstance does a member of our gang get beaten up, though. I don't know. He's six foot eight and he has a swastika the size of my head on his chest. So I don't know. I don't think. But let, I could beat up Danny Trejo, I think. Did you? Of course you can. He's an actor. Well, he's an old man now. Oh, me and my prime and him and his prime. Yeah, you're right. Sure. Why not? I'm waiting a lot. You're six, too, and he's five five.

Wait, what? Danny Trajo's not big. He's a little. He's a teeny little guy. Yeah. Zach, see if you can find the video. Like, like, you look at my memory. Like, like. Last year, he was at like the Mexican Pride Parade or some shit in L.A. And somebody hit him with a water balloon. And he jumped out of the car and tried to go off him. And they just threw his ass on the ground. Yeah, they cat Williams. Yeah, he's an old weak man now.

Like, he's an old tiny weak man. You know, like he plays a movie tough guy, but he's smaller than Tom Cruise. It's the same way, like, if me and Joe, if Joe Pesci tried to fuck with me in real life, I would just, I wouldn't, I wouldn't even waste. the effort of a punch. I would just move him away. Look at that guy. That car behind him is fucking 36 inches tall.

And that's the reason they slammed it and it drags on the ground. He's so short. It helps him get in. Yeah, I didn't know. He looks big to me and not big, but he looks, no, 5, 10, 6 foot in that picture without knowing any better. He's Mexican. He's got like a squat.

A squat body type. low center of gravity ready to tussle. Five, six. That sucks. Yeah, little guy. I would hate being five, six. I would despise being five, six.

You would have to like, I know. If you were five six, I'd bully you for it. That's awful. I know you would. Yeah. Just like if I were,

you know, consistently overweight, you'd probably bully me. What was I going to say before that? the uh oh the short person oh i knew a short person who was like five six um he dated japanese girls it worked out perfectly these tiny little asian girls didn't care and they were smaller than him he he went to a smaller size of girl he couldn't he went to a shorter race yes he couldn't cut it with the caucasians okay so he had to go to like Asians Indians Asians he did go to

to Japanese women in particular, because I saw his girlfriend. She was a very pretty Japanese girl. That's exactly why I went to South Korea to date, because they have the smallest penises in the world. Yeah. Yeah, you don't feel as intimidated over there. Dude, if I were the president of South Korea, I'd be doing something about those numbers. I'd be like, we're losing the North Korea boys. How do we juice these numbers?

Yeah, that would suck. no I'm glad I'm not I'm not short I specifically remember the moment as like a teen or a child or whatever where I was like oh good we're not going to be short we've crested the hill like maybe I was like 511 or something I'm like all right everything on top of this is just is just frosting you know what I mean like because there were kids that I had a friend my friend was short two of my friends were very short like five six five seven and you know we're all the same size in elementary school and then by like high school it's like damn you're not going to catch up are you man fuck you're always going to be that small damn i would suck because you could like you could tell girls preferred taller guys and like when you hug a girl and her chest is right here like like i don't know i feel

like they like that more and i like that more like i'm not opposed to a taller woman but i just i mean clearly being taller is just better in every way it's why those those guys go through that incredibly painful leg chopping surgery. I like a taller woman, but I have to be taller. You have to be? If it's a relationship thing. I can't,

I don't want to be in a relationship. You couldn't be in relationship with a six foot one, six foot two woman. Really? And she wears heels too. She's gonna wear heels though. When you go out, she's putting heels on.

She's going up six three. Now it's strangely kind of hot. When she puts her arm around you, she's like big brothering you a little. Like every now I don't now you've talked me out of it again Like as you walk into a restaurant Like she kind of puts you in that arm lock a little like big brothers You're like oh just kid just kidding come on honey

Yeah she's kind of into pegging yeah Oh now I'm back in the mix I uh when I did put on height It happens so fast I stretched out And I had this body type where you could see like every rib Like a like a malnourished dog And I was like I just got a different problem now.

I'm still not sexy. I had a friend that grew in height so quickly. He got stretch marks on his back, like long ways. Usually you get them like lengthwise down your body, but he had them horizontally from his back skin stretching up and down. It was crazy. He was like, I don't know, we were all roughly 5, 9, 510 in like 8th grade or whatever.

And then like we came back like a year later and he was 6-2, 6.000, no, taller. he was much tall. Six-three, like he was tall and like goofy, skinny. It was crazy how how fast he exploded. Some of us have those stretch marks on our love handles because we just grew too fast. That's just, that's just, that's just, when you do enough crunches and your abs really start, start getting big, you get some stretch marks on your love handels. Yeah, yeah, those are my obliques. Those aren't love handles. What are you talking about? That's all muscle. Touch it. No, don't touch it. Don't fucking let me prep my breath before you touch it.

Let me flex real quick. Yeah, I, I, uh, I'm glad I'm not sure because it really would bother me. I feel like I'm so shallow that if I had, if I didn't have that going for me, I'd be always, I'd walk into rooms and be like, everyone's looking down on me. Oh, but what are they talking about over there? Are they talking about how short I am? I'd be, I'd be so in my head about it. That would suck.

like worrying about being bullied for your height yeah i don't like it i think it's so uncontrollable it shouldn't be something people get bullied like i don't hear it's just women it's just women because i don't think gay dudes care like i don't i never hear in the gay community about them talking about oh his height doesn't begin with six what the fuck like like i i don't hear that kind of like that's true bigotry among the gays it's always

women. It's always women who are like, you know, thinking of like, oh, anything, any man under six two is a boy. What was the one I read yesterday? Like, if he can't take you to Dubai, he's a boy or something like that. Like, God, I hate women. He can't take you to Dubai? Yeah. It's a weird qualifier. I think there's a lot of vapid people in, uh, in social media and their, uh, their awful human beings. Um, I saw, I think it was an Ice Poseidon event where he had a bunch of streamers running around a park with paintball guns or something and one of them shot an innocent bystander like there was some lady in it yes there was like a like outside on the edge of the park there's like a lake or something and there were some people like canoeing and there was a

lady in a bikini and she shot the lady in the bikini in the leg or something and like put a big nasty welt on her and like she's on they're all stream they're all streaming so someone's like oh you just hit a random person she's like fuck it who cares ha ha ha and then the next video they're getting arrested. The cops have them. They're like pulling her out of the van, putting her in jail. Yeah, fuck them. They're playing paintball at a public park with a bunch of children around with no masks. Fuck them. That's what it looked like. I don't know. I didn't look too deep into it, but that's what it looked like. It's some scumbag shit, dude. Streaming's wild now. Like, there's IRL streamers. Like, I looked at, when we first met Ice Poseidon back in the day, I was like,

oh, this is kind of neat. I've been this will lead to a lot of like fun content. But it turns into like terrorism basically like they get these beefs with one another these online streamers and then it's like they go assault each other in public sometimes or they just do crimes in public or just they're just awful like that that johnny somali guy who's in that in prison right now awaiting trial good if they lock him up forever fuck that guy just going and bothering korean people for a job fuck you oh and then vatali is also locked up i don't think they're going to let battalion out forever yeah that's great content well he was like doing he was like desecrating shrines and just being as like offensive as possible is he in russia didn't like or what what country was it where vatali

it's an asian country it's singapore or thailand or something like that korea like wherever they've got him um they're talking about it'll be two or three years before his trial and then he could get like five or 10 years for what he did and uh i saw the first picture of him in custody he was like smiling and he does testosterone and works out so he's like real big and bub not anymore second picture of him he's like emaciated and thithered

and withers what's his name Vitaly Vatley Z yeah maybe don't go to a foreign country and then make your content assaulting and harassing people in that country yeah well

Vitale in particular like I saw I think the thing that got him in trouble and he was like trying to get this lady to stream with him or something just on the street and he like snapped on her kind of verbally and was like fuck you I fucking kill you like had this weird freak out moment verbally

but he threatened her life I think that's what he's in trouble for yeah don't do that I met that guy years ago he was pretty chill to me yeah well you weren't a meek little you know tie lady that he could yell at

I suppose not he was nice to everyone to be fair like he seemed like a nice guy when I met him he lost a lot of mass Like at first I was like well he's farther away You know try to try to put your head around this And he still looks okay in the right But just look at

Imagine putting a tape measure around his shoulders and chest On each one He's much smaller If you have to bother people In public as your content You're just not that funny Like you just have no ability to do it on your own You have to rely on other people

Responding appropriately to your advances I don't like that shit Look we're in we've been in this world forever and we know like the links people go to to get attention and to get clicks and look I put my life on the line trying to get a few extra clicks before but I've seen people do stuff now

that's off the chain I saw this black guy playing Russian roulette but we're aiming at our feet so you pull the trigger aiming at my feet then hand me the gun I spin it I aim at your foot and we go back and forth but there was no like you do it once I'll do it once

and then we're done it was like do it till someone gets shot in the foot and so they of course the guy who's like streaming bang shoots he's wearing a shoot shoots him in the foot he goes ah and the video cuts off and I guess there was some more content that I wasn't privy to where people were you're not really shot that's a white foot in your picture

that's a white person's foot or like they were giving him a hard time saying it wasn't real he comes back the next day he goes fresh out the hospital ninjas fresh out the hospital let's do it again and his foot is all bandaged up, like real bad. It's in one of those boots, and his other foot is in a flip-flop, and he gets the same guy, and they start playing again. But the other guy's aiming at his other foot this time.

Bang! This dude's good at Russian roulette. And this time, because he's wearing a flip-flop. Because he's wearing a flip-flop and not a shoe and sock, you see, like, it starts gushing blood. You sent me, sent us this video at one point. I didn't like it. No warning either.

You don't think that much blood's in a foot, but then you see it. It's like, wow. I bet Taylor like my dog picture. It's full of it. The service dog? Horrible. Oh, I saw it right before we started. I saw the service dog picture.

And that was fun and lighthearted. And I liked that. He's jumping out of an airplane, rethinking his career choices. Let me get it. Yeah, that's a good one. Here's the video. if you want to do that's a that's a photo i like let's see this

it's only 45 seconds yeah yeah you get the whole you got the whole thing here they got money on the ground too it looked like they both thrown like four or five hundred dollars in a pile like so winter take all you know so best case you win 400 bucks the hospital bills more than that's not enough money at all no the hospital bill for a fucking when i when i dropped that knife on my foot my hospital was like 200 oh yeah i'm totally into this video

it's happening soon it didn't happen it didn't happen right they keep clicking it and I'm just like just don't just don't do these things oh it's just stopped and now it's fucking Saul Goodman Jesus it would be fun to play with like a paintball gun or something

like that like something that's just silly or like a water balloon thing or something goofy. That's insane to me. I can't imagine doing anything close to that. No. Most sane people wouldn't.

I think me and Woody did that with watermelons one time. We made one watermelon, his watermelon, and one mine, and then we played Russian roulette with the watermelons, maybe. I think that's when I held your ears. That's a fair way to do it.

Yeah. We did have earpro, so I put my hands on his ear. I remember that clip, yeah. You were just looking out for your bar. Yeah, that was a 44 magum. That was going to be loud. Yeah.

If the barrel's short, the gun is loud, people. Yeah, revolvers in particular, like, will really ring your bell. They're very loud. A lot of sound coming back at you. A carbine is just a rifle with a short barrel, right? I don't know the textbook definition, but I think of a carbine as a semi-automatic magazine-fed medium caliber rifle

that's how I would define it but I don't know what the textbook definition is at all and it's carbine it's you wouldn't say carbine it's just wrong I say things my own way you know caramel caramel caramel it's caramel caramel it's caramel you know but well it's not in my house it's caramel okay

oh but it is do gun people call it a carbine I do I don't question Kyle Google says carbine so I'm not on my own but if Kyle says carbine like he knows this sort of thing I trust him on this right. I say carbine whether it's right or not

I'm FPS Russia and I tell you what's right I define what's right I do think it's a caramel caramel situation where it could be carbine or carbine okay caramel is just a little too up its own ass you know

it's a little too like fruity-to-d-like it's caramel caramel feels lazy it's like you can't open your mouth it's caramel oh let's make it from caramel caramel caramel I have to share what I just experienced okay hopefully this link works but you click on it and then there's a little like a blue circle with the it says it says carbine do you see it do you hear it yeah now click on learn to pronounce tell me what it says carbine

right both carmel and whatever that other wrong way to say it is yeah that's what I thought carbine carbine carbine see this is why I didn't doubt Kyle I mean I don't have any inside knowledge

that's just how I've always pronounced it oh right you're brand new to guns I agree I mean I you know I suppose I don't know if I've ever heard anybody say it one way or another I don't know I just think it's carbine but yeah

anyway don't play Russian roulette kids it's a bad idea unless it's watermelons then it's just silly and fun what happened to this dog here he's a service dog rethinking his career choice

it looks like they're coming out of either a helicopter or a building Jesus he does not look happy about this could you show the picture it's the imager link can you imagine your entire life

you're just thinking you're supposed to be chasing squirrels and now you're this far above the earth Go full screen on that doggo. I want to see. Look at the fear in this guy's eyes. You're looking for a service bird in this situation? Give him something to chew on, something to alleviate that stress, this poor guy. He needs THC.

He does. He needs a CBD gummy that you can give to the dogs to calm him down a bit. Poor fella. I think he's going to be biting somebody on the way down. You think they're going to bite someone on the way down? This is like a military dog here. Like they're rappelling down to go fuck some people up. So he needs to be alert, I would say.

Yeah. Yeah, he would be the most chill dog ever with a gummy in him. I've seen those dogs that get on their masters like hang gliders and stuff and fly with them. And they seem to love that shit. Yeah. Yeah, they seem to get comfy with it. Yeah, dogs are great. They are.

I'm glad you've got your own little pack. Oh. And I appreciate the backyard pictures. you send of me, of them frolicing, sent to me of them prolicing. I like those pictures the most. But I also like the Murphy when you're like being a basically a dog mom

and you're like, get a load of this little rapscallion and it'll just be Murphy sitting there with like one tooth sticking over a lower lip or something. He's just so fucking cute because Murphy is the, the cutest dog ever. I love those. He's got that little,

in his mouth like a cigar. He does. Taylor's coaching Kyle on what kind of content he sends his way but it won't work. He's totally going to get pictures of dogs with their intestines coming out. Oh, no.

He wouldn't send dog intestine. He'll send me like videos of a Russian guy begging for his life where he's like, please, I have family and then he's blown up and 40 minutes later he'd be like, get a load of Murphy. He's such a fucking character.

I'm like, all right. That was a wild follow up. Murphy snuggles on my pillow like a right against me every night. He's great. The problem is every now and then he farts right next to me on my pillow. And it smells so bad. Like I've got three dogs. And if they get in, if they eat the wrong thing, like if I give them like fucking hamburger

helper extras or something like that, I'll be in the living room late at night watching TV. And they'll all be farting in sequence. So the room never quite stops stinking. it's like it's like and then it hits you and it's like oh that's thick and bitter oh that's so noxious you can tell it's going to be bad

when it's those like breathy farts they only have breathy farts yep or just kind of vomits the gas out of the butthole it's not a it's not a no it's just it's so awful I try to not give them treats anymore or like even people food because they stink so fucking bad. I can't imagine Woody's scenario with those horses.

Like I bet when that Great Dane farts, you just got to leave the room. It can be rough. It's not good. Back when there were two dogs, it was even more. Like you said, like there are nights where it just never quite clears up.

Mm-hmm. You ready to wrap? Yeah. Oh, is it time? Oh, wow. It's the wrap time. Time flies when you're having a good. time.

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