Painkiller Already - PKA 766 W/ King Trout: Are We The Softest Men Who Ever Existed?

Episode Date: August 23, 2025

P.K.A. 766. I think our guest, King Trout, will be here soon, had an Uber issue. He was a last-minute fill-in. So thank you to him for that, Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by BetterHelp, lock and load, and our wonderful merchandise. We were just ranking our least favorite bugs. I got everyone on Team Mosquito. You made a compelling point, yeah. I'm not on Team Mosquito. Team Mosquito might have the most kills, but the ones. Those aren't whites, okay? Those are poor brownies in foreign countries and people from olden times.

Folks like us don't die malaria. Olden days, where they were building the Panama Canal. They were dying. Look up the Panama Canal death rate. No. It's insane. I bet there were a lot of white people in the Panama Canal. And other people are people too.

Okay, okay. Modern whites, we have no issues with malaria. It doesn't, like Western whites, we're good. So the mosquito is a minor annoyance that can be corrected with. There's a host of sprays. candles and electronic duichies. Hydroxychloroquine. Is that for malaria?

That is for, or wait, no. No, that was a different thing, right? Is it? There's anti-malarial agents. Like, there's definitely something to, like, treat malaria. So it's just not an issue for us. The Hornet, however, live here in Georgia, and I've always, whenever I've encountered Hornets,

it's terrifying. And it's not the kind of like, oh, look at them over there. You'll see a wasp nest with 30 wasps on it. They'll be all angry, and it's like, oh, almost bumped into those. As long as I stay over here, though, they won't bother me at all unless I bother them. Hornets on the other hand are territorial. They'll swarm you in numbers that seem inconceivable. They will grab onto your car and just attack your vehicle and try to get you.

We were building a new house and staying at our old house, and in the driveway of the new house, there was a hollowed out oak with a huge Japanese hornet nest inside of the, like an opening in it. So you really couldn't get to the whole nest. So what dad would do every day when he left the work site, which was our new house to be, he'd roll the window of his truck down

and give it a couple blasts of his 12 gauge. And then he'd roll the windows up real quick. Well, they would attach themselves all over the truck. They would swarm the windows thickly. And then we would drive all the way back home to the old house, three, four miles. It was close. They would still be on the car.

They would still be on the car. I invite this upon yourself. Oh, you were trying to transfer them away from the new house. No, we shot them to death. Eventually, they all, you know. Yeah, Taylor, at least one percent of them died every time. No, it's a shotgun into the score of their home. Three percent.

This took a couple of weeks and they were all gone. But what I'm saying is they're huge. Find a picture of a Japanese hornet, Zach, and see if you can show up. I know. I've seen it. I saw it fuck up a big spider in that Japanese video. I want to see it. Probably our audience, those too. They're huge, terrifying.

They intimidate me when I see one. I cower in fear. I am so scared of those things. That and scorpions, but we just don't have scorpions. When comes to the worst bugs, I'm still on team mosquito. That's a Japanese hornet? It looks like a bumblebee. That looks bigger than what I remember as a child.

Look it on a hand. I'm guessing that's a small lady hand or something. I don't know. That looks a garganty one. If that's a small lady hand, that's an enormous hornet. I mean, it's still gigantic. Who's foolish enough to hold it this way? Who's the guy who's like into bugs?

Who's that guy who likes being stung? Cowboy something? Cowboy Peterson. I think I've seen this on Motherless. He's about to put that thing in his cockhole. What is that? Is that a normal Hornet? And then that bastardized Japanese version that they're giving us as revenge for the nuke? Motherless goes too far.

Dude, you'll be scrolling through Motherless and it's like, oh, this is nice. Lots of old, like, early. flash cam selfies in the mirror. Lots of really hot chicks. There's hardcore stuff there. Like, you know, a little BDSM, a little rough play, a little role play maybe, get a little wild with it. And you're just scrolling, scrolling. Then it's a dude with his whole face covered in shit. I'm like, ah, ah. Kyle's not describing my experience because I'm like, a third of these videos are turnoffs. You know, I'm not so shy that I can't deal with

a little choking. We're cool. We're cool, right? Oh, rough? Click. But, you know, when there's poop all over the thumbnail, I'm like, this, this is going in the wrong direction. I, now I want to close the tab. Yeah, nobody wants that. Or you, like, somebody does. Apparently, there's an audience for this. Oh, let me keep going.

Like, you'll scroll past the shit. Like, I've trained myself to, like, see it out of the corner of my eye, but not focus on it. So I'm aware of the shit, but not, like, exposed to it, if that makes sense. Okay. It's a skill you build up over time. And I scroll down, oh, scroll down a little bit more. and you know more hardcore stuff more sexy so like oh my god is that oh it's like oh this is all that old who's the deep i love deepthroat com girl uh heather brooke the whole heather brook album wow that's a

blast from this past and then it's a dude mutilating his penis his penis is full of maggots he has filled his foreskin with maggots and they have chewed his peat it's not exactly maggots it looked like mealworms and they have chewed his cockhead until it's bloody and i'm just like ah i wasn't trained for that yet. Ah, my, I'm trained for shit. And I'm like, flick a little more. It's rough. The porn band search has ruined porn. It's like, you know, two years ago, if I saw a girl whose tongue was split and did shit that normal tongues don't, I'd be like, oh, that's crazy. Now I'm like, that's mild. I am, you're, you're making me kinkier Republicans. This is backfired on you. It's like you down a rabbit hole, a rabbit hole of ghoulish.

I have a sight for you. This is where I go now. This is how you avoid the shit and the dick mit mutilation. And they also have like fake snuff, like women being fake hung to death. And it's like, man, I hope they went and knocked on all these doors to make sure these chicks were just pretending. You know what I mean? Just like butts and tits. Like this is normal stuff.

But see, it's a, it's, I don't know how you pronounce it. E-R-Me or Aromi, but E-R-O-M-E-R-O-E-O. This is just a good porn site. Like, it's, it's just good porn. Like, oh, maybe this one's not the right. I think it took you the wrong page. No, you definitely linked us to pornography. Like, this is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I've heard that. There's an ass, there's some tities with like that water emoji above it. That lady's using the vibrator. Some guy's spreading this lady's bothole. Anyway, that's the way, that's a place to go to, to get all your pornography. But none of the gore. And like, at least they, They did get the bestiality off of Motherless at some point.

Like, that's no longer there. Really? Yeah. But the mutilation is still there. And, like, for some reason, that's not censored. Like, people really doing awful things to their genitals. I remember the description on some of the videos on Motherless being like, stupid cunt falls down subway stairs. And it's like, oh, my God, this is a brutal injury.

This is awful. Oh, it wasn't even born. It was just like people being, like, it was like a little commentary that used to have on eBombs World videos. I'm sure you guys remember, but much, much meaner and in, uh, more sexually far because EBom's World did have those, like, violent videos with the wacky descriptions, too. Who's really into catching girls at the pawn shop stealing things? Like, why is that such a prominent genre? Oh, I think that's kind of hot. See, he's forcing them to have the sex.

They don't want to. It's like have sex with me or else. And they're like, sometimes it's like a mother and daughter. And it's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the mother and daughter get caught, like sneaking stuff into their purse. And they have to go to the back room. It's always the same back room. People, the hottest woman steal from this store you can imagine every day.

And he's just like, I just picture, Kyle, getting off to the last scene in Cape Fear. Like, oh, we can teach a lesson here. There's no crying. There's no, like, no, they're not really. being forced like clearly everyone's being paid just little fantasy woody is it always a pawn shop no no no it's it's all it's any number of stores uh it's it's basically retail um the guy catches this isn't like a favorite of mine but i've seen it the guy catches the girl stealing retail stealing whatever and then he basically fuck me or else i call the cops because i've seen those too

I just never noticed like a pawn shop theme. And in my head, I was thinking like, yeah, there's no way they're going to let these fucking whores traips around Nordstrom to get B-roll for their little ball story. What I'm talking about is always a pawn shop. It's the same pawn shop too. Like just time and time again, these girls keep trying. You wouldn't believe how many sexy 21-year-olds

are trying to get free golf balls from a pawn shop or whatever it is they're trying to get. And it's like, this is a repetitive plot point. Yeah. Another couple of Big Titty Babes stole a Babe Ruth rookie card from the pawn shop. It's just, you know, suspend your disbelief to get to the meat and potatoes, like it's a Star Trek movie or something. You know, I don't believe in the force, but if it gets me the lightsaber battles, I'll buy in. Just like there used to be the, I mean, how much incest, like faux incest is on the internet. It's crazy. It always has to be stepmom.

it's like, why can't they go whole hog and just say it's his mom? That's what these people want. They must be against the law or something to say that it's his mom, even though they're all actors clearly in a, there's a camera man. Wow, this is a medical marvel. You intentionally put the force in Star Trek because you lost my belief system right there. This is crazy. This mom is like maybe a year and a half older than her son.

It doesn't seem likely. Yeah, I don't really buy it. I'm mostly like amateur porn anyway. There's very little professional porn that I'm into. The only like professional porn I really watch is like if I actually, for some reason, I'm interested in that particular porn star, like the Nailen Palin chick, I really like her. Lisa Ann. I like Lisa Ann a lot.

I don't know her. But she must be dated out by now, right? She was older back when I liked her. She was probably 40, like 10 years ago, I would guess. But she's like huge titties and she has very Sarah Palin looking face. And then who's the other chick? Oh, I watch Mia Khalifa. Is that her name?

That is a porn actress's name, yeah. But I only watch her now because I see those interviews where she does like lewd stuff, not nude stuff now. And she's like, oh, I regret all that so much. I'm like, really, let me see. You must have had a rough time. Yeah, yeah. Where is it now? Yeah, I'm watching a video and there's like four cocks in her at the same time.

I'm like, this is what she meant. This is what she meant. This is the part she regrets. I went to Lisa Ann's Twitter, and she's like selling a branded wine. She's giving out, what is this, fantasy football draft order picks? Oh, she's been doing that for a while, the draft stuff. some reason i know that yeah i think she like is really into it and good at it i if i remember correctly she was featured on like maybe she was on espn or sports center like giving good takes

and doing well i have that memory the brains behind it too i thought she was i thought someone who knew football on a seven out of ten level found a way to make that level of advice marketable by hiring i'm accessing a memory for the first time ever but i'm almost positive that i remember like a decade ago, her being on Sports Center or something. I'd be like, that's fucking Lisa Ann. She actually knows fantasy football, because I don't... You might be right because I'm scrolling down. There's no nudity.

This is all like pimping a book, wine, and stuff about football. So, so there you go. On porn actresses that have other talents, I watched Sasha Gray on Twitch play Souls games. She's a player.

Really? Yeah, she I'm not saying she's you know, Little Aggie or something. He's a very, very good player. But she belongs on Twitch. She's not the worst souls player on Twitch. That's for sure. That's crazy.

Yeah. Isn't Worst Souls player on Twitch also a genre where like people with no familiarity have a little ticker where it's like, I'm a professional counterstrike player and I've never done anything other than shooters? I'm going to play this and see how many times I die. And you'll see like a clip where it's like the number's like 3,402 and they're like exasperating. There's this one guy.

I'm going to mess up his name. It's close to like Dan Giesling or something like that. And he was first famous from Big Brother. And his superpower is never giving up and never getting tilted. He has those two things. His superpower is not really improving at the game. That's not really his thing. But I watched a compilation video of him attempting to beat Melania without leveling up his health.

Wasn't a Roon Level 1 type thing. Like he's not level. Because he leveled up the damage. he did, but he didn't level up the damage he could take. He got it on his 3,000th try. Three thousand tries in a row against the same boss over the course of weeks, if not months. And he would live stream them all, just again and again and again.

And like, you know, he'd come close. He didn't know there was a phase two for like a thousand tries. All right. Well, then that's how you know he's not trying because he should have been watching videos if he meant business, right? I think his gimmick is failing at it. at this point. If he didn't know about phase two after trying it a thousand times, that means he failed a thousand times without watching a single tutorial.

I'd watch 10 days. I'd be watching tutorials for two weeks before I've downloaded the game. I know it's that hard. Hey there, Trow. Hi, everybody. How's it going, guys? Looks like you're in the gun cave there. I am indeed. You might recognize this studio is belonging to a man whose bathroom I destroyed a few months ago. Are you getting it done? No, fuck, though. No, this is a vacation.

for me right now. Can you move the mic? Closer you sound. Closer. You're far away. So you're at his house right now. And so did you already go through a little conversation where you're like, yeah, the thing about that bathroom is?

Yeah, I just, I got a lot of other projects lined up right now. It's been, you know, busy past four months. I got to use your podcast studio, by the way. Yeah. And I'm not installing your sink also. I promise your. the guns will be there when I leave. Yeah. I can be trusted with your things. Well, that's good. Yeah. I remember being at one of those, I guess JT's house with the Black Rifle Coffee guys and being like astounded.

Number one, the house was unreal nice. And then how many rooms you could walk into like Harley was walk me around. He's like, this is a study and also gun storage. This is a laundry room which doubles as gun storage. And here's a kitchen. You'll know, Otis Gun Store, and it was just a, I don't know how to, if Kyle walked through there, he would, you know, have one of those like Tony Stark, like the little labels popping up in his head of like the amount of money, but I don't have that. I was just like, wow, I imagine all of these are inordinately expensive. Yeah, I'm trying to do that now. Like, back there in the back corner, standing up, it's not on the rack, it's sitting on the floor. It's really blurry. I can really only see the outline. Is that an SVT 40? I think so. It looks almost like an SKS. Let me grab it. Yeah, yeah, they do. but they're from World War II. SVT-40 is that like a Russian gun, an American gun? Yeah, yeah, from Kodd 5. I can't tell if it is

because it's way back, I think it is. I think it is. I've never seen one in real life. I'm just going off video game knowledge. Yeah, that's an SVT-40. I'm almost positive. I'm not a giant gun nerd, but... I'm pretty sure it is, yeah.

Nito, wild that he has that. That's awesome. Are those expensive? or just ran no idea. I just never seen one before outside of video games. Is it like stamped on there? Good question. It'll be Russian, eh?

Before I asked it, I was like, of course he can't. He's not wearing glass. And it's like, oh, right. Some people have just raw dog small print somehow. SVT, 1940, made in Russia. It's actually in English characters, though. Huh. All right.

Modern recreation for sure. Yeah. Either way, that's neat. For sure. Is it because of the English? Because of the English and it's in flawless condition. And he also had it propped up back there like it didn't cost $30,000 or something. It's casual.

Okay. No, it's fucking cool. Look at that. There's a golden deagle down there. And then just to make sure he knows like that's his fancy day deagle. It looks like there's a normal one above it. Is that a dragon off like two above that? maybe probably not too short

it's the um it's the um what's the it's the it's the from uh it's in everything it's in tarcob is in pub g it's the it's the fully automatic uh okay 74 u no no no they they use it's the special forces rifle vsss the vss yeah Zach commented that I stole it yeah

yeah T90s some of a G3 I mean wow He's got a fucking thumper. There's the AK-7-4. He's accepted it more easily. I play no shooters.

I would know that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's integrally suppressed. It's supposed to, their, uh, Spetsnaz supposedly uses those. And maybe, like, whatever look of that one. Uh, the China Lake, I noticed that from, uh, bumper. Or is that not what it's called? The, um, China, I don't know.

China Lake I've only ever heard and caught World at War, but it's the, it's the, it's the breakdown. 40 mil launcher from Vietnam whatever it's really called talking about his thumper yep that's pretty sick I think he just got that recently there are grenades for it downstairs I mean they're not like live you know high explosives dude if you've ever seen one of those chalk rounds go off I think it kill a man really yeah I think if you got shot with a 40 mil chalk around at point blank definitely in the head it'd kill you but like maybe even in the chest like when I've

shot them they get gone and they go far hundreds of yards. Like, it's like, it's like, Funk. It's like, holy shit. I'm glad we didn't fuck around with that. That was for real. He's talking about buying a mortar tube earlier. We got a buddy who's down here right now from Buffalo, New York, and we're like, oh, shit, we can

probably make it to Canada from his backyard. And sneak in. Texas. I know the mortar. No, up in New York. We were going to mortar a foreign country. That's a cruise missile word describing. You're going to, an act of war. Yeah. You're going to blow off some Mounties horse leg.

Yeah, what are they going to do? You can get those mortar tubes and then you can you can fire that thing really cheap. Obviously, it's not explosive rounds, but it uses like 12-gauge shotgun shells to power them when you drop them in there. And they're fun to play with. It's more like lawn darts than artillery, though.

It's kind of, when it hits the ground, it's just going to thunk. That was kind of underwhelming. I saw, like, you could definitely kill someone with one of those fake RPG. heads that like they don't explode but you put it in the RPG and then you shoot it and it's just kind of thunk the training round for the AT4 um would definitely kill a person uh those little it's it's a 20 millimeter rocket or something like that i don't know i i had like five of them they're like 350 dollars a piece for these little training rockets and they shoot out of the AT4 launcher

and i i shot one like elevated one time to just see how far it'd go from my dad's house and uh i pointed in a safest direction up in the kind of like 45 degree angle and let her fly and it just went and I was like there was no arc to that it just like where did that go it went so crazy

I'm gonna guess the range was 1500 yards or something it got gone does it's a dart you know it's recoiless because it's because it blows out the back right yeah it blows and it's that launcher that you've probably seen in movies you like pull both ends to like make it big and then it's got just awful sights

there's one of those downstairs in his kitchen right now yeah he must have brought that to the gun event I went to because like there were lines to shoot all the neat guns but the line to shoot like the RPG was by far the longest I saw Sam Hyde shoot it and that was the only person I saw shoot it and I was like oh this isn't nearly as much a dummy round as I thought like if that hits you anywhere it's an absolute catastrophe like it's not like you can take your your forearm

and be like, ah, that's smarts, like, you're going to the hospital. That might be something that they rigged up so that they have a reusable, easily reloadable type thing. Like, they might be reloading their own rockets because the rockets I were shooting were army issue. And they were, there's a few things that, like, are on the market, but the only way they can get on the market is if they were stolen off an army base. Like 50-Cal Ralfos rounds, the explosive 50 BMG rounds. No one's ever sold those. But you can go to Knop Creek and they'll have some for sale for, like, $30 a shot and it's like the only way this could be here is if someone stole this off of

the military base. I think maybe the same is true for those 84 practice rounds because when I was sourcing them there were dozens to be had and I bought five I think for like 300 a piece. At the range day was basically shooting like literal like firework mortars like they would they just threw the uh you know I'm talking about the things that look like little Christmas ornaments or whatever with a wick and you put them in the tube on the ground and it falls over and you shoot them into your neighbor's house. Okay. It was just those things, but it was fun. It was wild. You could probably kill a deer with one of those rockets. I thought we were going to do that one time, but I shot all my rockets up. Oh, like filming a video. Like missing a deer? Oh,

no. I had to do a video for some movie. I can't remember what it was, but I wanted to blow up a truck with the AT4, which meant I had to hit explosives with that little training rocket from far. away because we're blowing up a truck and I missed the first two times and the third shot I hit it. That's the best shot I've ever made on anything ever was making that stupid training rocket hit a target about this big from 50, 60 yards away. That was amazing that I did that. I couldn't believe that it hit it and worked. How many more shots did you have had you missed? None. That was the last shot. It was the last one. I was like if this one doesn't work, we're going to wire the truck. We're going to run like a wire to it and like trigger it. We've got footage of

shooting we don't need to like you know we can do a jump cut right there well actually i think i had one more rocket and we were going to like shoot that rocket and detonate the truck with like a detonator um but but it went off right it all happened for real zes um those things are neat yeah i like those little moments in your videos where you could tell when you turned around to address the camera that you didn't fully anticipate it going that way and you could see like the the uh the kind of shocked Kyle face return quickly to the Dimitri face and be like and this is what happened.

It's like, on one hand it's like, do you really think I've ever done this before? And on the other hand, it's like, I've done this before. The shrug you did after you almost got hit by that fucking truck door still cracks me up every time I see it. That was wild. Inches from your death and you just turn and you're like, you know, you'd have been on motherless.

it was over so fast there was no time to be afraid so by the time it had happened it was already over and we were it was something that happened in the past now and it's like that was cool so i wasn't i was never afraid but it was after the fact when i saw on a camera and what you haven't seen is i had like good high speed photography behind me and that footage you can see the door you can see that door moving at 5 000 frames per second and it's it's pretty close it's pretty close if i'd taken one nice side step to the right i would have been in the danger zone i think i think it probably would have hit me yeah yeah half a step like one full step the injury would be i guess it's hard to estimate it's hard to know it's where it would it hit you right

it's light it what was going was pretty light it was it was the sheet metal exterior of the truck door um but it was going fast and that stuff is sharp so right right then it kills me it It could kill me for sure. If it hits you just right, sure, sure. But more likely, it mames you. And we all know a scar longer than three inches or so. Kyle just ends it. I'll be honest. Like, that would have been a bigger video. If it hit me, it would have been a cooler video. If it hit me and like, just like hurt me kind of bad, like 30 stitches bad. Like if it had done that, that I've been a cool fucking video. Especially if you play it off cool. Like, oh, I would. There is no word that. I am not about. I am. I am not about. Bad ass. I'm not a badass, but FBS Russia is. FBS Russia would not. He doesn't, look at this. That's a lot of blood. I promise you. I promise you that's what FPS Russia would have said. Kyle would have passed out and fainted after the camera turned out off because he's afraid of blood. But Dimitri, he loves blood. He thought that was cool as shit. And he'd have said so. I promise you, that's what would have happened. I barely ever use that leg anyway. I showed up with a gun, you know, or something like that. for sure. But yeah, that was a close one for sure. Yeah, that was a good one. That was fun. That was a good

video. We need old Donnie J. That was not even my... I like that one, but my favorite is the one I don't know my guns, but it's hardly even a gun. You sit on it. I think you describe it as the world's largest machine gun, and with every shot, it shoots a little bit higher.

Yeah, the 40 millimeter bofer's anti-aircraft gun that was mounted on World War II battleships and such. Yeah, that one. I had no knowledge of what those were meant to do. And, like, watching that video the first time, I had the requisite, like, thought process, which I means that most people did, being like, oh, that can't be okay. Like, it started firing up in the air. It wasn't, Kyle told me in private.

Can I tell the story? Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Kyle told me in private. He's shooting at a mountainside with trees on it. and the gun goes like, chiku, chiku,

and like after he shoots it, he's like, that was badass or whatever it is he says and his cool FPS Russia, like I meant to do that. And then the camera turns off, and this is what Kyle tells me. He's like,

I was like, why is it pointed up? And they're like, you're supposed to hold that lever while you shoot it. No one told me that. He's like, no,

what's over there? And the answer was like, uh, like Nashville. I guess we'll find out seven miles out seven miles that way he said I was like how far does that go

seven and a half miles he said I'm like fuck what's over there he's like there's some horse farms over there and they're not cheap horses I'm like how expensive we're talking about I'm like he's like there are some hundred thousand dollar horses over there and I'm like sweating

it's a fucking prince of Persia is going to be curious when this race force explodes. Yeah. So, of course, we added in impacts from a different shot where they all go, too, tuf, tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth. I didn't know that. Yeah. Trout, I want to know why is, why is Castro any weirder than the Oon boys in North Korea?

I see you say he's the weirdest, but I don't know. I feel like the North Korea boys are pretty strange. Well, a little click baity there. He is a fucking weirdo. He famously is the father to Trudeau, which I completely forgot to write into the script of my video, despite the fact that all the evidence that he fucked Trudeau's mom, and then they look the same as there, wore the exact same thing, like literally every day for the entirety of his life,

until he switched it up for tracksuits, and then he started getting bashed by news agencies because they said it was kind of frumpy of him, but I fuck with the tracksuits. I think they go hard. um he had the world's largest ice cream building or uh what ice creamatorium i don't know what the hell you call it uh ice cream parlor built seat seated a thousand people and they're like bragging about uh you know at its peak had 26 whole different flavors of ice cream to choose from so it's like wow that's nearly nearly as many as baskin robins yeah yeah

Caskin Robbins is pumping those numbers. Like, at least half of them are horse shit. Where it's like bubble gum, fuck you. Not eating a bubble gum. Those are the same flavor. Yeah. Sour blue razz. My patriotism requires me to say, you don't know that those other flavors are good.

What do we do on? North Korea ice cream or something? Like, what's to say they're better than Baskin Robbins? That all 26 are bangers. Oh, no. I was meaning that if Baskin Robbins is having to stretch it, then I bet there were some fucking losers in the Castro kitchen. There aren't 30 good flavors of ice cream on earth. Unless you get into weird math and you're like, we're going to count vanilla and we're going to count vanilla with cookie dough as different flavors and vanillas with...

You're two different flavors. You're saying cookie dew and vanilla aren't, or don't count as two flavors? I'm saying we're stretching. That's a topping addition, not the ice cream itself. Get the fuck out of it. It's not an addition. It's mixed in. That's what it is.

You add it and you mix it in. Point proven. And there's only one flavor of ice cream. No, there's a... It would be vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, bubble gum, raspberry, razzberry, moustachio. Because it's just, those are just toppings mixed in. That's what child's all chocolate is. Chocolate doesn't count as a flavor now under Taylor's rules.

You're being... You are looking at my salient point in being pedantic. The castor did an ice cream shop. You should know better. because I didn't work in an ice cream shots for a day. I even forget that. I won't tell the story again. But yeah, I have one day of ice cream experience.

One day of Ben and Jerry's experience. I expect it more from a retired professional. No, I'm looking at his ice cream parlor here. Not only was he just a racist ice cream eater. They're talking about him finishing off like 18 scoops after a Sunday lunch. In one sitting, yeah. But I think the reason. for like for him investing in it was because of the american embargo he couldn't get like american

ice cream's just like i'll show them i'm like my own ice cream and better he was yeah he was that's what he was doing he was trying to breed a cuban super cow so they spent all this money like researching because he wanted cuba to be like the dairy capital of you know the western hemisphere and so they were breeding selectively breeding cows until they got one uh ubre blancca white udder um which they said it produced like 29 gallons of milk in one day which would be the world record and it's also like double the amount that it's old shit like modern fucking cows produce he wouldn't he wouldn't lie about that it's it's total horse shit um and uh yeah he like made it his his pride and joy and it was like i was

literally to like brag to the western world like oh no i don't know why i was going to make him Russian uh commie uh like oh you know communism works look at how great our system is look at the look at the i only can do the mexican so look at look at look at this car They make him more milk than you can't even believe. Do a Tony Montana. That'll get you there. He's like angry. Usually, yeah.

But Chino's is always angry. This cow makes more milk than anyone. No, no. I've never seen that movie. You've never seen Scarface! No, oh, actually I have. I saw it on TV and I didn't appreciate it because they took a lot of scenes out, apparently. Well, you can't get you?

I was like four. I was like 14. I was like 14 or 15. What do you? Yeah, watch King of the Hill 50 fucking time. Taylor's lack of culture is a form of file of child abuse. And I feel like Kyle's just putting his finger in that wound and hurting it. Right?

The fact that he hasn't seen Terminator, he wasn't raised in a good home like we were. Dude, that would be the best live PKK ever. We stream all of us watching Terminator 2. And I'm like four minutes in. I'm on my phone. I'm like gay. I will make a separate We can make a stupid YouTube channel

Where we do nothing But we watch movies Taylor's never seen And we can And we can sit there And we can do like The commentary for Terminator 2 I would love to do that This sounds fun

I'm safe from Mandy as well Yeah Because I've seen that one Scarface is Look I like Scarface I don't love Scarface I think the first half Is superior to the second half

it reminds me a full metal jacket or something like that. Not that there's that big change in what's going on, but the first half is his rise to power and the second half is his downfall. I don't want to see Tony have a downfall, even though he deserves it. I don't, you know, I hate to see him like, well, there's a downfall.

I won't spoil the movie because you haven't seen it. My God. I know how it ends, I think. They get him. You don't know how it ends. He shoots the machine gun and wrecks that beautiful house and he snorts the cocaine. Don't play rough?

which ends up being which is baby laxative which is nice because that's the same thing they cut cocaine with in real life and so it's pretty realistic you just have to imagine he has really bad cocaine

but we still have that idea Kyle for the podcast where we review movies but I never watched the film we would watch it together we would do like we would play the movie in a call and we would watch it together and I would be like

so James Cameron actually did all this himself he ran out of money and what you're seeing there is styrofoam spray paint and he's actually puffing a cigarette blowing it now in this next scene when you see the body bag zip up they didn't have a body bag that's that's james cameron's suit uh case his uh his suit bag he that they're zipping him up in i i'd like go through the movie and i'd like give you little tidbits like that because which movie is this that's terminator one at the end when the terminator's reaching for sarah and uh and uh she's like you're terminated or whatever she says and smushes him with the press

Um, there's a close up of its head getting crushed and its eye goes out. And, uh, he had ran out of money. And that's all like styrofoam spray faint and literally him, like blowing some cigarette smoke. They literally hydraulically press a homeless man to get that, to get that, to get that they're free. Just grab them. It's that finish guy doing the commentary for the hydraulic.

Remember he was like the first guy to do the hydraulic press? And he'd be like, today we are going to put a homeless man's head in the hydraulic press. and see what happens and the guy's like whew! Yeah, this is a good idea for a show. You'd get so many views. It'd be on my other list, though.

I have seen... I'll do a whole YouTube channel so we avoid any like copyright stuff because we can include footage but there's a fine line. You know what I mean? I've seen the, I've seen all the Beethoven's.

We're not going to watch any Beethoven movies, Taylor. All right. Then we'll start with the big ones. Titanic, Good Bad and the Ugly. You haven't seen either of those? I've only seen part of Titanic on TV. Titanic's fine. It was more of a cultural event type thing.

You kind of had to be there at the time moment kind of thing. The special effects are incredible, but the love story squished in there isn't great. I don't care for the love story. I could do without it. I'm there to see the boat sink. And you know how it ends. You already know everything. You could probably tell us the movie Titanic and barely miss a beat.

some point you see her tits and that was the scene that like all my friends in uh i guess it was early middle school would rave about oh yeah grade school but they saw it middle school like oh have you seen titanic dude her tits that was the only thing i knew about it for the longest time yeah and then you watch some of it on tv and there's no fucking tits what's the point i don't watch edited movies i don't know i i would rather sit and like sit my thumb up my ass than watch an edited for TV version of a movie that's like especially when the violence language or nudity are kind of central to the plot of the film her tits are the main plot point of the movie the whole thing that gets it going it depends on my mood the thommer the movie you know i i on the

tail of the uh castro ice cream thing we're like he was trying to lie about that but it was also clearly his very most favoritist food. Kim Jong-un is a cheese man, a regular cheeseman, and I like that about him because do you know the dedication it takes to be a bona fide cheeseman if you're Asian? Lactose intolerant. He's having diuretic shits, just brutal bowel movements for days, but it won't stop him.

He's eating entire bricks of cheese. the article I found was like Kim Jong-un's favorite snack only cheese and so it's like he's not even having entire charcutory layouts he's just feasting on like a brick of Gouda and then some Swiss and then throw a little you know greyer in there not crackers for him he's a purest he's eating it with his hands who's gonna fucking stop him he's a king giant rat he does look a little like that

that would be horrible for me if everybody had tell me I wasn't getting fat. They'd be like, wow, you're looking good, and I'd be like, like, out of breath, walking up three stairs. He was seemingly losing weight there for a bit, but I saw him maybe three months ago whenever that battleship of theirs tipped over and broke. And he was wearing like this, he looked like Tony Soprano in the later seasons when he's wearing that gigantic leather jacket.

He had one of those on sort of prancing around. He had a bad bitch with him, though. I always see him with, like, a really hot 22-year-old Korean girl. The family word for them has to offer. They're like the pleasure team or something like that. I don't know if he has that, but Gaddafi had, like, those. I watched an interview today of a guy who used to work in the palace where all those girls were. And, you know, they're showing this, like, Ariel's view of the compound.

And it's gigantic. It's just for him. he has a handful of women who sometimes will wait around for like over a year or two before they get selected to be banged. That's awesome. I hope he's into weird stuff too. I bet he's into cheese play. That's probably what he's all about.

Yeah. He makes them eat it. They're also lactose intolerant. They're all lactose intolerant because they're in Korea. But he's in it for the love of the game. Can't have, couldn't respect that. guy more for what he's doing over there

I mostly fairness I mostly know about the cheese stuff I don't know what else he's up what else is a guy yeah geopolitically I don't know where he's head but big fan of the cheese greatest golf forever I'm told but desperate how about this pot of cheese

yeah eating that's what he's doing pretty pretty evil guy I don't think those troops he said to Russia panned out too well that that's that's to really fizzle out on them. Yeah, they had unrestricted access to pornography and then immediately just jerk themselves off

until they got droned to death. And also, like... They died doing what they love. Being some like Russian soldier who is just given, like, you're conscripted as a Russian, you're like, ah, fuck, I gotta go the war. And then you're like, oh, but at least we've been reassured. This is going like super well.

You know, there aren't enormous casualties on both sides of this conflict. And then you just see like a random team of five foot four. North Koreans and their goofy outfits and you're just like oh my god this cannot be going will like this is I saw where some Russians so the Koreans gave a bunch of stuff artillery shells and men were the main things you heard about but also some rations food military rations and I saw this Russian soldier and obviously they're printed the

the cans of food are printed in Korean Russians don't read Korean any better than we do so he's just you know what he says I looked into it I translated dog is dog I had sent a fucking canned dog is there still fighting in Russia you know Ukraine invited Russia and they took to some amount of territory because it used

to be the Ukrainians weren't fighting I'm sorry in the North Koreans weren't fighting in Ukraine is what I was trying to get out. They were fighting in Russia against the in the territory that Ukraine had seized and I'm like is There's still any Russian territory?

I'm not sure. I thought maybe you might know. It seemed like they were doing like runs into the territory and with vehicles there for a while. But I haven't heard about that in months now about them doing that. And whenever I see the map of the territorial gains, that's not on the map. It seems like they've taken a bit of Ukraine like a crescent moon's shape of Ukraine. without any uh any parts into russia lost i'm looking in the map now there's a little bit more than zero but it doesn't seem like it's enough to are you looking at there's like a i'm assuming it's

that little light red thing on the north yeah purple is the color i'm on a different map then yeah north of sumi or wait what is that sumi is that serni no that's sumi i don't know yeah north of sumi it's it's north west of sumi purple okay yeah it looks like on this man i don't know it looks like less than the last time we looked at this but that was i agree yeah no ukraine has been losing territory but there are all kinds of moral victories and body counts and stuff i'm sure that the i'm sure the body count is in the favor of the Ukrainians, since they're playing defense mostly. But the,

I saw some like on the ground stuff today, and it was an American who was there fighting, and he was like, on the news, you guys are going to hear about us losing a lot of ground, losing a lot of territory. From the top of this building, I can see where we were fighting a year and a half ago. That's how much

land we've lost here. It's like, it's over there. That's where we were, and now we're here. And like, that was interesting to me, because I imagine they've been pushed back 100, 150 miles or something. That's like World War I shit. It's really slow and grating.

That map that I was just looking at that Zachson, I feel like that has looked almost identical for like the last year and a half, two years. Good on them. That's incredible that they've been able to hold off like that against bigger numbers and such a gigantic economy.

Like I said, that thing's not stopping anytime soon. No? No. Do you think anybody's worried in like the Baltic states, like some person in, like, Serbia is like, oh, it's getting, well, I guess, no, it's not getting closer, but it could

at some point. Like, yeah, they're all, we're just going throughout their lives. Lithuania, like, is way closer. I was meaning, like, Greece, Serbia. Are we talking about the same military powerhouse Lithuania that I'm thinking? I was going to say, Lithuania is scared.

Like, Lithuania is like, like, they're like, they're like, for your neck. Did you, like, just sometimes it's kind of use that map of like the true size of like states and countries and stuff and I'll just like drag my home state of Missouri or some other state and be like wow like bigger than a lot of these little teeny countries like there are whole countries with their own language that are like you could drive three times in a day you know point to point across them it's so bizarre as an American looking at that shit because of all the the gerrymandering news that's been going on lately, I've seen a lot of content that's showing the economic power of California compared to the world and the rest of the country. And just the San Francisco Bay Area is a bigger economy than every state other than Texas, New York, and I think Florida. You're telling me the eight largest companies on earth

based out of that area are big. That's shocking. It's true. That's interesting. That's really astounding. It's a pinprick of land, and it's only Texas, Florida, and New York are bigger economies. The other one that gets me is... Cali's for the fourth biggest economy in the planet. If you look at Los Angeles County's population, it's more than like 37 states or something like that. And I was surprised. It was like bigger than North Carolina, bigger than New Jersey.

New Jersey's known for its population density. It's not the biggest population, but the density is really there. Smaller than Los Angeles. County. I was like, damn, it was close. They should break California up into a couple more states. They really should, right? They were talking about it for a while. Texas should be three states. California

should be two states. Alaska should be four. No, no. When did you pick those? Alaska. Because they're all gigantic and unwieldy. But why would Texas be three in California two? California like breaks right in half like a Twix bar or something. And I

feel like Texas though is kind of weird. I feel like it should be three. And it's It's so big. It's three different, like, environmental areas. Like, Western Texas is nothing like Eastern Texas geographically. Well, it's enormous that makes sense. But we couldn't do that. And I've said this before, and I stand by it.

We, if we're going to, like, balkanize some states, make them into smaller pieces, we have to just go and commit to an even 60. We can't be some 54, 57 state-haven country. Like, the flag's going to look. absurd like just a cool a cool go up by 10 if we have the luxury of doing so maybe hang on though but maybe the stars aren't in us in a square anymore maybe they become a circle or maybe they become something else may you know what I mean like if you if you just make it 55 maybe a circle looks cool it should represent our country it should be a star of David I've always said

we should put put like one really big star right in the middle of the blue and then surround it with, you know, like 49 other smaller stars, and then everybody has to fight over who the big star is. But there's no like answer. Israel's the big star. What if that was our pitch to Canada? You want to be the 51st state? I'm just saying.

Here's a mock-up way. They're not the big star, folks. We got 50 stars at a leaf. Oh, Canada would have to be, how many provinces does Canada have? Is it like four? Is it? Seven, I think. They have territories, too.

It's provinces and territories. It's like Yukon and there's fucking nothing up there. Oh, yeah. There's like Yukon, Nunavut, British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario, Quebec, and probably something else. Manitoba. This guy knows too much about Canada. Is he a spy?

I respect their hockey culture. He likes hockey. Knows the territories in Canada. I'm on to you. Canada can get away with whatever they want forever for introducing the great sport of hockey to the world. It has three territories. The Yukon, the Northwest Territories, and Nunavut. Yeah.

N-U-N-A-V-U-T. Interesting. That's where the Eskimos live. I'm serious. Yeah, like it's where the Eskimos live. There's one suit, I think the most northern populated area in Canada is a little city called Yellowknife, and it might be in Nunavut. And it has the same or similar way. whether maybe a teeny bit less extreme than that Russian city in Siberia that we've talked about

where like the oil in your car freezes and shit. Like that's how intense it is up there. Maybe it's white horse. I thought there was one really north called the Yellowknife. Newfoundland and Labrador. Look at that. We forgot them. And those are the guys with the bar none funniest accents in all of Canada.

Yeah, they're from a place named after two dogs. that would be so funny if like they took those names after we gave the dogs those names like is that not the case like we we take over Canada Quebec's getting named golden retriever Ontario is going to be German Shepherd we're going through the list we've changed them all all fucking dog names yeah I saw this too crowd Zach can you show the what will be on here I found it fascinating so This is U.S. sports popularity from 1920 to now. Yeah, it's kind of a broken link, but if you leave it here, it works. Baseball is the blue one that starts off with this massive popularity and has just, whoa. Has just, I mean, you see. And then at the bottom, you see that hockey is this just almost no growth in a hundred years.

Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? NHL cares. Basketball is the green one. It's currently number two, which is better than I expected. Am I reading that right? Yeah, yeah, definitely.

I know baseball's dropped off big time. This is good. I hope hockey stays consistent and they're slow growth. They're not going to be wearing gay socks. Slow growth. Look, they were at 5% and now they're at 9%. A mere century later. By 2090 will have 30 more fans.

And that's fine. that's fine just keep hockey the way it is it's fun to watch i i'm insisted that baseball would be way more popular if they didn't play 900 fucking games every year yeah and if the sport was like fun to watch like if they were even the whiff of physicality even baseball fights are gay it's a bunch of why iota's a bunch of put them all put up your dukes it's so so lame sometimes it is oh excuse me most of the time it is i've seen maybe three good baseball fights ever where people got actually punched in the face and

somebody goes down. The whole clearing of the bullpins especially is bullshit. That's when the bench is obviously clear because you want to back your guy. But the bullpen, that's the pitchers who warm up in the back, the relief pitchers and stuff. They come running from all the way behind the outfield. It's like

just stay. Just stay. Keep warming up, you fucking asshole. That's stupid. Because it's never, I've never seen it turn into it. Plus their pitchers. Do they even have the cardio to do that without it impacting the rest of their game they're hard they just know they're the best they're hold me back guys hold me back that happened every once in a while in the hl we're like there'd be a big line brawl where all the guys are actually fighting and then one goalie

sometimes patrick wa that guy kyle linked me a video about he was a lunatic like the one goalie would be like yeah you come on putting his arms up like he's you know relaxed like yeah you come on down and you fight me and usually the other goalie unless it was like ron hex Stahl or Patrick Waugh would be like, yeah, no, you come and fight me, Buster, but if it was Patrick Waugh or Ron Hextall, they would skate down and beat the fuck out of the other goalie, and that was great. Hextall would fight skaters. Yeah.

And Hextal would fight anyone. He would start fights with anyone, but he didn't win all his fights. He was just really enthusiastic about it. Yeah. And somehow I like that at least as much. He's like, you know what, I'll kill you. You actually won't. You're very clumsy in all this stuff.

Yeah, you're wearing some giant goofy pads that make it impossible to, like, fight correctly. But, yeah, Ron Hextall ruled my favorite Philly goalie ever. I think most Philly fans are. He wasn't really good at being a goalie part. He was okay. He has moments. He had his moments. Imagine you needed a tree that grew to 50 feet tall and provided that amount of shade.

And now, amongst all the Hextall trees you've ever. ever seen one time it got that tall one time ever would you buy that tree if you needed a 50 foot shade tree you wouldn't you pick a different tree but he was still dope yeah he was still cool i liked him but you're right kyle baseball is collapsing and if they're not careful in the next 10 years they're going to be losing to hockey no they're not really look at i want to see the chart again let me see that chart again look at the trajectory I'm also doing the kind of math where someone's like two weeks ago, my son was 10 pounds. And now he's 13 pounds.

By 2041, he will be 3 trillion pounds. It will probably flatten out and stop losing popularity like it is. But I also wonder if this chart, is that current? Do you think that's 2025 right now? Yeah, I do. Because I thought baseball got a little more popular when they put it out. In the top, it says 20. oh okay what is what is the clock they put on the pitcher to keep the game moving along

is there a name for the pitch the pitch the pitch it was something like they have to pitch fast I thought you were saying the bitch clock oh the gay nerd throw the ball clock obviously the gonna be losing to hockey in a few years and that's pretty pretty embarrassing because we're scratching your dick this game is seven hours long clock how is this measured Because, like, we've talked a bunch of times about how ratings for basketball, the Green Line, have tanked that went down 40%, but not in this chart. So, well, it's a share of popularity index, but that's not, that doesn't mean anything to me. That, you know, what's based upon? There is a source on the left.

Oh, shit, some guy made up. No, baseball is definitely collapsing. It's a slow sport. and I think that people who haven't played don't appreciate how hard it is to hit a baseball. It's the hardest thing to do in all of sports. I've heard it's the easiest. You know that's not true.

People say it is. People say it's the easiest thing to do in sports. They do say that all the gaiest. I'm glad to see basketball is kind of stagnant. Like it deserves it. Basketball's been lame for a long time. Look at the bump it got during the Jordan years. Look at the Jordan years fucking making basketball be great again.

you know what it's interesting though the 80s didn't get a similar bump and that was the larry bird michael magic johnson years i think the dream team and the the fucking olympics and all that stuff would just it was just overwhelming the only thing i don't like all those endorsements he was on whitties before magic the only thing i really don't like on this chart soccer increasing in popularity yeah disgusting you know what's causing it right yeah i'm why tell him why Taylor. The immigrants. They come to our country and they like this gay game called soccer. I can't even

watch it. Can't look at it. A bunch of fruits falling. We need more Dominicans in this country. That's what we need to bring people from. They love baseball. Yeah, the baseball playing ones are already coming, right? Yeah, as many as we can get. Yeah. Money is can sneak in and

fucking... By that logic, we need more... Baseball drafting is extremely complicated the way it works. But as far as Dominican players go, it's like a free market. It's like grab them anytime you want for whatever you want kind of thing. They're not part of that collegiate system or even the

Euro system. I think they're on their own bullshit rule system. They go snatch those guys up and sign them to contracts at 13. Can you hire people in sports who are just currently not spoken for? I don't know how that would. I often think about this. What happens if I do get

superpowers? Can I just join the Sixers? Is that allowed? yeah 100% they could just sign you like you would be to play agent the Eagles had the open tryout remember during Mark Wahlberg got a lot out yeah

yeah when Mark got in nah I don't think he could have really played that's the kind of that's the kind of sports story that I think that a team like the A's I don't know how they're doing this year but last year when everybody was just begging them to all go and

dig a hole and die in it like man just get a fan out of the stands and let him throw a few you know get some interest back into this park. They're selling the team, and so, like, the fans are, they had an atrocious season. It's a meltdown for the athletics. Are they going to be a role to UFC that if a player, if someone misses weight, then the other fighter has an opportunity to just pick three people from the stands.

Those are tough stands, but if you get your pick, then I get, then you could really take care of business, get a couple blonde bimbos and just lay them out. That wouldn't be fair. You'd have to let Joe Rogan pick three people from the stands. Is that T-D-R-T's over there? Yeah, come here, come here a minute. They just fix B-Pix-all. The fighters, like, hell, yeah, easy win.

And then he's like, ah, a lot of linemen in the crowd tonight. I wish there was a freak fight at UFC events. I wish you had the regular fights, and then there was one freak fight every night. Make a whole new division, like an open, like, weirdo, amateur division type thing. I'd love to see ex-NFL player. fight a fuck fight two midgets or something like i just would any fights good fight if it's in that environment they're they produced so well that if they built up the uh the drama for it i'd watch that more than i would watch too like you make a good point because i want to see how tough

kangaroos really are i'm convinced i could kick a kangaroo's ass i think you could too i think it's overrated yeah oh no you don't understand they stand on their tail and they kick you dude i'm a trained fight watcher i i could see that coming. I would choke that kangaroo to death. I have no fear of a kangaroo. He'd scratch me up, I guess. Like, can I wear two shirts? Then I'm good. You can't wear any shirts. You're fighting in the

UFC. We're naked? Oh my God. You're wearing like spanks or whatever the fuck they wear in there. Shit. I think you can wear a... Can the men wear like a rash guard? I mean, no one does, but is it against the rules? It's a good question. I don't know the answer. The women do. I'm going to

check that out. No, but they have big talents. I'd tear right through your shirts. Fuck you up. all it all takes is one little misplay and then you're fucking William Wallace his gut spilling out dude you give him kangaroos way too much

credit I oh wait bad Google so they're basically just giant rats there's not an herbivore on the planet I can't fuck a giant rat would destroy you

immensely how big is giant 200 pounds Oh, I was thinking R-O-U-S is Because I can take an R-A-U-S But 200 pounds is A man-sized rat, a 200-pound rat A rodent of unusual size

It's gonna, yeah, it's gonna bite You see Princess Bride, right? Yes, I have seen that one Okay I have I have seen my R-O-U-S reference And it upset me I've seen so many movies

I do immediately I do this the swamp With little fire bursts They're hardly named convenience Now that we know the trick They make a noise first my question which has divided so many friend groups is what animal do you honestly and frankly believe what is the upper tier of animal you think you could take on in a fight wolf you're going to wolf i think i'd take a timber wolf on i think i can kill it i think you chew me up but i think i'd kill it i think any dog i can beat except for those big like mastiffs and like excel bullies um i think i could like take a german shepherd no problem a malinua no problem i mean when i say no problem i what i mean is i would win and they'd get stitched up. I think they would

fuck me up pretty good. But I think that I think I could take them. I really do. A deer, for sure. Like a white-tailed deer. My dad got arrested. The largest animal I could beat? This is on land? Yes. Yeah.

Unless you want it to be a terrestrial animal. I know you're making more rules. I had a blue whale in Missouri. I'm going to fuck it up. Some people lose fights to bull sharks in Missouri. Oh, what are you thirsty? I'm not even tired yet He's like

Oh Punching his eye Rolls into you Kills you You lose How that plan work out for you Woody That's basically me saying

Like yeah I could beat up three school buses If they're out of gas And I'm just running around being like Ha ha ha I'm just fucking my hands up Windows were made to pop out I'd beat the shit out of Mike Tyson

If he was on chemotherapy Rippie. Yeah. I can take Bruce Willis now. Yeah. Oh. Oh, that's not nice.

I pop him in the face and he's like, what happened? And I'm like, who's to say? Pop him again. I got a really bad headache. Who are you? He's nonverbal now. He wouldn't say anything that you'd get away with it. Yeah, yeah, he wouldn't say a word.

He would keep your secret. That's terrible. Oh, that's horrible. He's a cool guy. He always seemed nice. I hear you. he hangs dong he hangs dong yeah probably not anymore though i mean i don't think it's drunk or anything i just i thought there was a dementia and keep your dick dude i thought there was a suggestion

that part of that was he was slinging dick oh that too i heard that he was like had i had a lot of meat and i think he showed it off he was in like a pool scene in a movie like swimming naked just yeah yeah really hangs down or even in the pool even in the pool yeah that's the temperature of the pool but they're not to be impressed. You know, I don't have that data. If he gets out and he's hanging in a huge dong. Dude, he gets out and he's hanging huge dong and his nut sack is all tight,

I'm like, whoa, this is the worst they can look. Get out of a hot tub. I'm hanging testicle, best I can do. Saturday morning, fresh out the shower, dick. That's as good as it gets. It's 10 a.m. I slept in. The water was nice and hot. Ball's also hanging, though.

yeah that's terrible I always like Bruce Willis I watched Pulp Fiction this week and I was I was thinking about how he's nonverbal now because he's so cool in that movie I love his character butch in that movie that fucking gimp rape scene always gets me

it's so rough they're sitting there next to each other those ball gags was he self-serving when he helped the gangster or was he being a good man good man thousand percent good man he had taken a huge risk and he didn't know

I don't know if he knew in that moment that he was being raped in there when you listen to it you can tell that that's what's happening yeah yeah I knew too so I gotta give him credit for knowing to but you know he even puts his hand on the door and it jingles as he's you know the bell on the door as he goes to abandon Marcellus Wallace and then he's just like fuck and goes back and starts weapon shopping you know hammer a bat a chainsaw and then he sees

that fucking Hanzo sword up there that's I love it. I mean it's good that he got the katana but I don't think he had the sense of urgency that maybe the victim had I always think that I'm like bro if I'm getting butt-fucked down there you need to get your shopping done

you imagine you're being blessed and like I kept the capacity to stop it right away and I like finish my burrito bowl I got double chicken I said give me chicken and then after she'd already put in the fajita vegetables I said actually double chicken I forgot the queso

I wonder if they see that scam ten times a day I know what you're doing but actually I don't have to pay for this it's fine yeah they know I was in such a hurry before this at Chipotle I was like oh fuck we're starting the show soon I don't have time to cook any of the ingredients I have. I got to run out and get a burrito bowl real quick.

Get a chicken burrito bowl. No, didn't get queso, didn't get cheese, good boy Taylor today. Look at that. Pretty impressive, right?

I'm on expressed. I think you were not being able to yourself. Yeah, what a healthy Chipotle order. Good job. I was thinking of the same thing. Give me a little victories here and there. But anyway,

I was in, I'm almost positive. I'm almost positive by love diet. You know, because they're calorie-dense. You're eating fast food, bro. Get the cheese. I only got two bags of chips.

I'm kidding. I didn't get any bags of chips. I wanted one. I didn't get any. And I was in such a hurry to get back here, wolf it down and do the show, that I think I left my credit card at Chipotle. And so, like, also right before this,

I was like on my phone, on my banking app being like, report lost or stolen card. did you approve of these purchases and it's like Chipotle Burrito Bowl and I'm like good good nothing's happened yet no miscreant stole it out of the machine or wherever I left it or dropped it or something

and then I canceled it and now seven to ten business days I'm gonna have to either be using some cash I can scrounge up and find or debit card and I don't even know if my fucking debit card works because I haven't used my debit card in a year at least

Yeah, I just always use my credit card. If I have cash, I usually spend through the cash as I have it, because otherwise it's like, what are you holding on to cash for? So I just, if I have that, I'll spend it. I don't really think I have any. And so I'm going to be debit card boy. I use my rewards card for just about everything. Do you have any cool credit cards? Do you get the fancy designs on them or anything, make them look like a set tapes or anything?

No, just generic, like whatever it comes with. I never selected a thing. and I also have like the most generic like kind of card just like the general cash back shit where it's like hey you get 1% on all purchases and 3% at the gas station and 2% at the grocery store and I'm like that's fine and I made that decision like eight years ago 10 years ago and just stuck with it I like delta I've already got a bunch of sky miles so I got a delta card and it does really well it's got good rewards and I've got a shitload of miles stacked up now I'll go somewhere someday and it'll all be free. Yeah, and you can go to that fucking, the lounge thing. Yeah, I have a diamond, platinum, something, or another Delta member or whatever. So I get to go, I never go to that lounge. I just sit in the regular thing with the rest of the people and play Civilization 5 on my laptop. Hell yeah.

Or in Atlanta, it was always nice. I don't smoke anymore, but they have, there's only two smoking lounges in the country that I know of in the airports, and it's Vegas. Vegas has a cube they put you in to smoke in. And it's, there's slot machines in it, yeah. That's cool. What are they doing? There's too much, but the smoke is thick. Like, you're getting smoked out.

But in Atlanta, they have like a whole lounge. It's not nice, but it's a whole room that's sealed up with tons of ventilation above you. And you can all, like, even if you don't smoke anymore, you can stop by the Atlanta Smoker's Lounge, but I'm a smoke for this flight. It's nice. It's nice. And it doesn't stink in there. Every, I don't know why every airport doesn't have one because as someone who used to smoke,

I would always, especially before vapes became a thing. I'd always be like, fuck, man. I wish it's been like two hours since I smoked. And now it's going to be three hours before I can smoke again. I really want a cigarette for this flight. You can, you know, anything you could do. That's me. I'm a very heavy smoker.

And so like Zins, I only do them on flights. But yeah, the Atlanta airport, they don't have the smoking section anymore. So if I have a layover that's like two hours, I'm like, I might miss this connection, but it's worth going out for a smoke. You go through security again? Yeah. Oh, I've never done that. This sounds awful.

Fiendishly addicted to cigarettes. I don't know if you guys knew this, but nicotine's an addictive chemical. If only they warned me on every package of cigarettes. I'm always one of those people going through airport security where I'm like, I hope crack didn't magically appear in my bag. Like, I'm so scared going through security for no reason at all. What kind of, we're going to smoke to you, we're going to cigarettes you smoke. I bounce back and forth between Marlboro Lights and Marlboro Reds, the Cowboy Killers.

I always like Marlboro Smooth. They're peppermint flavored. I always smoke menthols of one kind or another. I used to work with like 95% black people. And so if you wanted to bum a smoke, it was going to be a menthol. And if they wanted a bum a smoke, which like making friends, it's good if you're like loan somebody to smoke. They didn't want to, you know, whatever, a Marlborough Red.

They wanted a cool. So I smoked cools for years and years. I liked in college And a couple years after I liked Parliament lights Or that was mostly in college

Because all my friends liked those And so it was just an easy thing to get And And Paul Mall Blues My friends were like These are like poor people cigarettes And I was like What are you talking about?

They taste totally fine Or camel crushes I like the camel crushes a lot I never really bought to be Marlborough types of yeah I remember on that trip he was always flush with camel crushes. Oh, he's, that was a solid thing to have.

Every trip he's flushed with camel crushes. When we went on our survival trip, he brought like two cartons. Dude, he would like, like, we'd be like out on that patio listening to the Mexicans, ride dirt bikes down the road smoking cigarettes. And he'd be like, hand me one or like open the pack to give me one. And I'd take it. And I'm like, ah, the last one. That's not good.

And then he would like open his coat like a drug dealer. There's just a hundred more. packs of cigarettes in there. I was like, oh man, this guy loves Sigs. And so, yeah, I had to quit Sigs, and then I was like, I'll just do this really gay shit for a little bit.

Dude, at least you've got a nondescript ones. I get these, uh, these, uh, what are they called, geek bars. And, uh, these are actually, these, like, these are kind of underplayed with the line. Yeah, you can play snake on that. There, no, there is one where it has like a whole, like three, like crazy animated screen on it.

Um, let's see. that's too much i think this one lights up that's what which it has always blown my mind as heavy of a smoker as i am i can't do any like if i do a vape i hack a fucking long up it's i don't know what it is oh i don't mind i've even got a i've got two packs of like citrus zins just in case i like unexpectedly run out of other nicotine products and then i'm just like I guess I have to use a fucking Zin tonight. So I haven't shopped around a lot, but these geek bars are like 20,000 puffs for $15.

And they come in delicious flavors. It tastes terrible, though. They taste wonderful. This one's pineapple ice. And even when it gets to zero, on the top, it has two numbers, one for the battery and one for like the juice. It says zero on the bottom.

It has said zero for two weeks. It still works. It still works. I don't, it's wonderful. I don't know why I would get anything else other than that. I just buy the menthol for, for these things. You wouldn't rather have, like, strawberry cream pie or chocolate or slushy or Sprite or... No, menthol is solid.

There's one that's, that's Coca-Cola slush. Like, there's... No. I like the sweet can't, especially when I was cutting tons of weight for that fitness thing, and I was so hungry. Obviously, nicotine's an appetite suppressant. But having candied nicotine, it was like, it was as close to eating as I could get. I had a friend of mine who smoked American spirits in college because he foolishly, he was like, bro, Taylor, you don't get it. It says right here, no additives.

And I'm like, that says additives. And he was like, whatever. You smoke an American spirit. it's like, hey, do you want a cigarette, but do you want to be out of here for fucking half an hour? Half an hour, dude. You can't get a pull off of it. I had a coworker he used to smoke them because he argued they were healthy. Not that they were healthier, that they're healthy.

Like, the marketing had got to him so bad that he thought like, like, oh, no, this is, it's all natural. Like, it's a, look, there's a fucking Indian, there's an Indian smoking on the, on the cover. And they cost $37 fucking dollars a pack. Oh, my God. That's crazy. not literally but they're damn close yeah i remember going to new york many years ago and they were 10 or 12 bucks and thinking like why would anybody smoke them and now i think down here there may be seven a pack or something like that closing in on it's crazy dollars a pack oh yeah but if you roll your

own i think you can buy like two pounds of tobacco for free like 10 cents or something like loose tobacco isn't taxed the same way rolled cigarettes are yeah and you can get a machine that will roll cigarettes for you so i've never understood why people don't just do that like the machine rolls them up perfectly. Like, if you're poor and you smoke, why are you wasting your money on $7 packs of cigarettes when you could probably roll a pack for a dollar? I don't know. They have the press machine.

I used to do that when I was poor that you'd like fill it in and then you put these tubes, empty tubes. And the way they get away with it is they're slightly bigger than a standard cigarette because these are like type A or grade A. It says somewhere on here. Nothing that's important. Class A. And so the class B ones are, you know, a fucking.

millimeter bigger in diameter but the taxes don't apply to them so when you're paying like i'm from indiana and the taxes are almost the same in texas down here too where it's like a pack of marlborough now is about 10 50 a pack so you're paying over a dollar or 50 cents per cigarette yeah and uh to get that same amount of tobacco and tubes in with that different class of cigarette it's like I don't know, maybe $2. Now, it'd be way less than that, because you get like 200 tubes and two pounds of tobacco, and in total it's like fucking $14.

There's a fully automated machine. There's a cigarette rolling machine where you just load it and press go and it spit cigarettes out. It says Missouri is the cheapest state for smokers. The average daily smoker would spend $4.58 a day in Missouri and $8.97 a day in New York, the most expensive. North Carolina? North Carolina is right next to Missouri, like also super tobacco friendly.

So, you know, maybe I should switch back. I'll say, I travel a lot and you generally have noticed. Switch back to six. No, no, I'm not going to do that. That might do it. It's worth it. They're good for you. I'm going to say.

I'll get the note. addictive ones. Yeah. That'll save me. I'm looking to see if there's anywhere you can smoke indoors in the U.S. anymore. I know a bar right next to my friend's house where you can smoke indoors. There's a bar 20 minutes down the road from me right here that I can go smoking. Really?

Okay. Certain casinos, privately owned businesses in some cases. Okay. It seems like you can do your own thing if you're on your own place. You can smoking casinos here too. Or at least the last time I went to one years ago, I smoked cigarettes in there. Indian. That's my favorite thing about Vegas as a smoker. You can smoke fucking everywhere. We were standing

there waiting for people outside of one of the restaurants and I can't even remember what casino we were in. And like a fan of mine approached me with his wife and they had a fucking baby. And they're like, hey, Trout, can we grab a picture? And I'm like, oh shit, is that an infant? Like, what are you?

Like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, they didn't garden. If you guys are watching, I'm joking, I love you. You're terribly irresponsible You don't take a baby into a casino What the fuck's wrong with you?

That is crazy I remember at a casino Seeing Asian people With strollers And thinking like there's a visible Amount of cigarette smoke here It's like a haze And you're just like sitting there

Playing your game With a baby there The baby's coffin The baby wasn't coughing But that would be kind of funny I liked back in the day when there was a smoking section. I remember Pizza Hut had a smoking section. That was the worst for non-smokers.

Smoke gets everywhere. The smoking and non-smoking sections were divided by a sign. That doesn't work. It was a restaurant. My grandparents would take us to after church when we went with them. And they'd be like, they didn't give a shit. They didn't smoke, but they didn't give a shit because they grew up in, you know, the 40s and 50s and 60s when everybody smoked everywhere in this restaurant, we'd

always go to is like smoking or non and it's like the literally the divider is like a three foot tall wall it's like there's no it's not stopping the fucking cigarette smoke i remember as a little kid flying to disney world and the fucking airplane was divided with the sign into smoking and non-smoking sections and like you're not fooling anyone that doesn't make any they're recycling on the air it is my dream to smoke a cigarette on a commercial air fly or airfly or airfly That would be awesome. That'd be like, you feel like Don Draper. Oh, hell yeah.

I'd probably grow up a stewardess's ass. Or, you know, it's 2025. Maybe I'd have to grow up a steward's ass, but I'd do it. I've seen people light up on the commercial flight on Reddit, obviously, and it's always a meltdown. No one is having it. Everyone freaks the fuck out. What are you doing? I saw some lady.

She lit up. This is recent. She lit up. She starts smoking. And they're like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And she's like, pop, pop, pop, pop. What are you doing?

You can't do that here. Puff, puff, puff. She's like, you don't like it. And she starts setting something on fire. There's like, you know, all those magazines stuffed in the back of the sea. She starts lighting all that shit on fire. They have to tackle her and start swatting the fire out. She went, I don't know what her plan was.

It was like, oh, I can't slow. Her plan was to get on the no-fly list. Mission accomplished. You're just like, what the fuck? All the people bring dogs. I'm stressed out. The baby's been screaming the whole fucking fly. You know, I believe in emotional support cigarettes more than half of these animals.

Is your emotional support parrot? I'm not buying it. A lot of those animals are loophole nonsense. All right. So I don't want to bring a fucking peacock on or anything like that. But the thing is, if you put your dog and luggage in the dog cart, they die in there sometimes. Like, they don't all make it. Man, if I put.

Even often. Would you? You ride down there in a dog kennel? No, you'd be terrified if I told you we're going to smoke. You're just freezing the cage. I mean other cigarette through the cage. I think you would eat dogs. I have a negative opinion of cigarettes.

I'm just processing this emotionally now. Like, they're, they're all bad. I would argue nothing hurts you on Tinder more than cigarettes. You'd be better off being fat than a smoker. Wrong. like 10 years. Yeah, definitely wrong there. But like, you're right, they are bad.

You shouldn't be doing it. Nobody out there start smoking cigarettes because they're not fibbin. You'd really, really want them after, after just a little while. I mean, these things are addictive. Like, there isn't much you could do that. It's a red flag, like a

not to be ignored red flag. I would date a girl now that smoked. I don't care. Oh, disgusting. Yeah, I don't mind. I don't want to kiss a disgusting smokers. mouth. They've got to kiss mine. Same logic as I'm not

putting a dick in my mouth. Like she can suck mine all day long, but. I mean, she can like, how hard is it for her to fucking brush her teeth? After every cigarette? How many? How often is she smoking? Like, I'm not, imagine a chimney that I'm dating here. I'm imagining a girl that smokes half a pack a day. You know what I mean? She smoked.

That's 10. She's going to brush her teeth 10 times a day. I'm not making out continuously with my girlfriend throughout the day. I'm not 14. that would be so funny you're like 38 and you're like babe let's just make out

that's cool do not do that do you not just like make out and watch a movie like you're 12 it's fun and then she gives me an OTPHJ yes dude it's going old fashion

I do that a little over the pants Andy yeah OTPHJ OTPHJ takes you back just like what I go on SMFJ is a Sunday morning

foot job standard operating procedure we do regularly you got to make sure she showers before that otherwise you're getting all of Saturday's grime all over your penis there's nothing compared to what she gets so that's a red flag

for Woody if you're on what about for you guys what would be like the number one red flag like this is no good for a girl on let's say she's attractive let's get rid of fat let's say you are attracted to her what's the red flag though. What's the thing? You're like, ah, you know what? You're pretty. You seem to be able to carry on a conversation. I'm actually interested in you. I, you know, you're. Oh, but I have a, yes,

this is like two and a half years ago or so now, before I'm dating my girlfriend. And I matched with this girl on Tinder and she was cute. And we were talking on the phone before a day. Like, we were texting and set it up and then she just called me. And we were chatting for a while. And like, immediately she was like sending me pictures of herself like in like kind of wilder social situations and just mentioned that she was into blood play and that she was pretty kinky and I was like blood play now what's that and she's like well I got like I've actually got a horrible scar on my back from a guy who like I told him cut me and he was like I don't know about this and I was like cut me and then he cut me and it was really bad you know deeper

than we thought, but, you know, it was still fun. And so I'm really into blood stuff. And I was like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And, like, was polite, had the, the conversation. And then it was like, got off the phone, went to bed. I'm alone in my house. And I was like, I'm not going to that date on Saturday. I'm not going to get coffee with her and see where it goes. And so I texted her the next morning. And I was like, hey, you seem like a great person. I think that I'm just a little too vanilla for you and you're, you know, I don't think I'm a little rocky road. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a little too vanilla. I'm not as adventurous and I don't think I would, I'm not down for this. It makes me kind of uncomfortable. But, you know, best of luck. You're, you're great. You'll find the right person for you or

whatever, like nice way to wrap it up. Sent that. And I've never hit send and then gone like block contact as fast as possible because it was like, no, this, I don't need this person in my life. She gave, it was just a monologue of how much she loved blood play and all these dramatic stories with exes and friends. And it was like, if this is how you're talking to me, before our first date, like, it's already a little strange because usually on Tinder, like you're, or like these dating sites, Bumble, whatever, like you have the little chat and then you go on the date. you if it's like a real like pursuant thing otherwise you're like just seeing if a girl will come

over that evening and you know that wasn't what i was looking for at the time i was trying to find someone to date question for kyle two women identical identical identical twins for all it matters perfect one's into blood play one has a baby who are you going out with how old's a baby three and a half what situation with a father uh also in the blood play also in the blood play you know they don't get along great but they try to make it work for the benefit of the kid he's like in the picture then a little yeah yeah can i choose neither i have to pick one yeah i want to know which one's the bigger i prefer i would want the one with the baby um because like we can still have fun occasionally like she's going to come to my house she ain't bringing the

baby right like she can still come over and we can we can like bang and watch movies and Availability is going to get a limited. She doesn't have a, you know, to get a sitter every time she's easy. That's okay. I got like six girls in the rotation at this point. So like whenever she can make time to come over, she can make time to come over. I have no issue. If a girl's like, I can only see. I'm like, are you sure these other girls want to babysit? I don't understand your point. They're not here. No, you have to date this girl exclusively is what he's conundiced.

I don't do that, though. So, you know, you're creating a whole new scenario now where because I don't do that. You know, I'm more like have, like a few ladies who come when they can. I like that scenario. But I would rather, in any scenario, I'd rather have the one who has the kid over the blood play. Because I can't be parted to the blood play.

Like whenever you're talking about like fetishes with a girl, there's always that part where you're like, well, of course, no poop, no piss, no blood. Like those just like roll off the tongue right away. And 99.9, I've never known a girl who was into blood play, by the way. Negotiate. You're like, I'm not in a blood play,

but I can leave a few bruises or something. Yeah, I could rub you off. I'll jump the shit out of you. I'll pull your hair. I'll hit you pretty hard. I'll hurt your feelings. Oh,

brutal. You don't even know. I think you were dinner when we met. It would have to be the baby. Like, the blood play is so icky. It's so in. And SDDs is,

I'm so scared that, all right, if she's in the blood play, that, that i highly doubt she's into safe sex throughout her like many experiences that she's shared with you she's like yeah i got a litany of ex-boy friends and i'm into blood play so that means that like she's been with lots of strange men cutting her open it's shocking she was available you have to formally invite her into her house every time she can't be around garland

you can't see her in tears dude i'm dating this super hot transylvanian girl with her hangups. I just hate her laugh. It's like, ah, uh, uh, uh,

a, I can't stand it. And the blood. The story is one, two. Yeah. Did she want your blood or she wanted you to, like,

bleed her? She wanted all, all sides of the blood, but mostly I think she wanted me to cut her and then probably to ingest or, something of that nature of the blood. And that's just

horrid. Just something that is so on it. I wouldn't I would have barely, I don't actually, I was going to say I would have barely been more grossed out by it, but I don't think I would have been any more spooked if she had just said she was into scat. Because in my head, both of those things are like, okay, we're out of the realm of normal. And this is like dangerous.

My hypothetical single Woody sends her a picture of my knife collection. I had to buy more display cases for these fuckers. I got double deckers. I pulled the drawers out. That chick could be all mine. She's like, will you marry me?

I would have taken the shit play girl. And then I'll just outdo her. I'll be like, babe, babe, I had diarrhea so bad. I had to wipe my lower back. Huge on a splash. I'm lactose of time.

it depends like what kind of scat play and like are we going to like fill a kiddie pool up with shit and roll around

it together or like can I just poop on you and then run away I put on her and tell her to leave is that

is that blood is just so so gross you can have a type you can get on the scary thing only if she has it just the ickiness of blood aside

but but the SDD thing is extra scary too just no no no no no yeah it's a huge red fly enormous The biggest one I've ever come across

You have a chance Oh for sure Like I've dated a few single mothers I don't care Don't bring your kid Leave that thing somewhere Unless she's over 18 That would be the dream

Oh come into my pawn shop ladies Empty your pockets Welcome to my home I have the stickiest washing machines in all the category. Jesus. Blood play's so fucked. I bet she had her own knife.

I bet she was, she has like a ceremonial knife that she was going to bring for him to start slicing and dice. You know what it might have been though? Like, what if she realized she wasn't into Taylor and she was trying to like just

get him to get him to reject her somehow? And she's like, I'm going to tell him I'm in a blood play. We'll let him down easy. He's going to think he dodged, a bullet. This is great. No feelings heard here at all. He blocked me. Mission accomplished. Perfect.

I'm trying to think the single mother thing isn't like a no Well, that's because you're not looking for a wife necessarily. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're on Tinder, you know what I mean? Like maybe if we were on like Hinge

or maybe we'd gotten on one of those Richard Ryan style pay $5,000 a month dating apps, then you're probably not looking for a single mother. I know I wouldn't be. But if you're just trying to fuck,

like, I don't care. A single mother might be the place to start. She fucks. Yeah, there's only one virgin mother. Yeah. Yeah. And I think Taylor explained that she's not technically a virgin. It was just that it's a virgin birth,

that that baby wasn't the result of sex. And therefore, it was a virgin. virgin birth, but it's like, so what Joseph wasn't fucking his wife at all? Like, like, like, like, what kind of carpenter was? He stayed that busy that he never had sex with her, so that it was never in doubt. That, that's, that's, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, he taught his business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, Joseph Christ, I believe was his last name. No, no. Oh, Joey Christ. What about you, uh, trout? I don't know if you're a single man or not, but when you are slash word dating what is it that a girl could say do be into or having her

profile where you'd be like oh everything was perfect until i found that mine's got it well single moms were always off the table for me i don't know what it is something knowing somebody else has been there's the kid yeah there's something i don't know what it is i think it's your child that i find repulsive um but generally it was always like kind of like politics not political shit, but like a, kind of like left, lefty women when they're like, feminists, BLM, you know, when they have their pronouns. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, it's activism.

I don't mind left-leaning. Like, most women are left-leaning. I don't like activism. Like, can we coexist with me having my beliefs and you having yours? Can I be peanut butter and you can be jelly? Can that work? Or are you one of those people who are an activist? And you think that, like, fucking me is like,

serving the patriarchy and letting down all the other women or something like that. Yeah, that would be troublesome. There was one of those. It's funny, though, because it, as a leftist feminist, and she's like, kind of had those thoughts or whatever, and you could just be like,

yeah, I don't know about that. That sounds like girl shit. Anyway. That sounds pretty gay. Pretty gay to me. But then on the other hand, like, I would never bring, oh, you're talking about, like, it's an activist, basically.

in her profile and shit all sorts of fucking symbols and virtue signaling and nonsense. But I wouldn't like that either. But then like in my dating life, I've never brought up politics to a woman that I didn't know very well anyway. I got an idea of what you feel. We don't need to talk about it.

Have you done that two step where like it's a Tinder hookup? You know, it's probably not gonna be a multi-time thing. And they're like, what do you do? What do you think like politically? I would always. just be like, I don't really care. Don't get involved in that stuff. Like, just like, I don't want to have a discussion with you or a debate about this.

Like, what a phenomenal waste of time. We're both here for something and we're going to, you know. What do you think about the guys of the trip? Same as you. Yeah, same as whatever you think. I think it's bad. I remember. I did a girl that was in college when I was like maybe 27, 28 or something.

like that and she was like it was during the time of the Wall Street stuff I was in college Occupy Wall Street yeah yeah and I remember like we were going to dinner and she brought up and she was so conservative about it she's like

they need to get out the fire hoses and I'm like I like your style she got the fire hoses and watch that filth off the steps of that building that that's the foundation of the American economy what do they think We need to wake up and smell the coffee.

I think she was a political science major or something like that. She'd do her shit. It was fun to talk to her. But she was like conservative about that. I loved that. But normally I would never talk politics with the date. No. You keep it light.

Keep it light. You keep it light and cordial and funny. And you go, as Kyle and I've said many times, when you go on a date with a new girl, you bring out the classics. Oh, yeah. You give your tight five. You bring out. It becomes a routine.

Who's ready to hear King Trout's greatest hits? If you're dating a lot, like if you're seeing like, like, I don't know. Could she handle the impression? No, I don't think this one can. I don't know. She called a homeless guy fucking disgusting on the way in. I think I can roll with this one. Everybody, I shouldn't tell that story.

Never mind. Yeah. No, that's definitely the way to go. keep it light do your fat guy in the little coat routine you know give me the greatest hits and uh and there's no reason to you know what impresses them you force them to sit there and watch you eat four entrees worth of crap dude i used to have a move where uh if i knew shit wasn't going well and i'm like i don't think i'm the fuck like i don't think this is where this is going uh they do that the the girl thing where they're trying to be like dainty and

cute and they order some super fucking expensive entree and then eat zero percent of it and so i'd be like oh i'd be like oh box it up box it up take it home with you and then i walk them out like to their car or whatever and i'll carry the box for them and then you set it on the roof of your car while you're talking to them they fucking forget about that shit and then you've paid for two meals so much more polite than me you have lunch tomorrow see i have no chill about that i would just be like i i would say something you know i'd be like i'm taking this with me paid for it that would be it would be no like what you're going to do fight me for it. I can take her.

You're a woman. I guess I've probably been less cooth. I probably ate it off a plate in the restaurant. Yeah. Oh, you're not done. Let me help you out over there. So you can tell I'm doing okay for myself because I'm eating so much crab. I would never eat crab on a first date.

You smell like low tide. You can do fine with a fish entree. I'm not getting a fish entree on there, but like any sort of crustacean, you're going to smell like low tide. You can't be doing that shit. I think it's steak. It's super easy to eat steak politely. Yeah, you look good eating it. It's cool.

It's manly. And also doesn't give you the shits. My goal is to get like a fetichino alfredo. Some of that's going on my shirt. If we're eating at a restaurant, something is already going on. Why? Well, we're talking about dates to try and date someone, not. Like, just to, no, if I was trying to fuck, I might go to a bar.

Do you want to come over and watch maybe three minutes of an episode of Sonny and then fuck? And then afterward, you can be like, I repeat, if we're eating a meal in a restaurant, things have gone wrong already, all right? Like, there was already some friction to just getting you to come over. Okay. So this, this date is just to try out to get back to my house. So I'm going to have the date as close to my house as possible.

So that when the date is there, when I'm like, you know, I'm three minutes away. Like, that's what's coming. I mean, that's the approach that like when I was in the city, I, and I was on dating apps, I told every single girl. I was like, let's just go to subzero vodka and sushi bar. It's a really hip, nice place. And it was under my loft, or not technically. I was over some other thing, but it was 20 yards that way.

And then they'd, you know, wrap up. And then you'd be like, they'd be like, where do you live? And I'd be like, oh, it's happenstance, totally random, fucking 60 feet that way. All we have to do is walk around that, that white Vietnam vet homeless guy with the two pit bulls that he has on basically old degraded rubber band, like, you know, leashes. And then we're home free. Then we go right there, which I wonder how he's doing, because I despised that guy. You didn't thank you for service? never he looked like a Vietnam vet era like aged guy but I don't know if he was but he had these two massive pit bulls that would like sit with him and they were barely tethered up and if I like looked out and like just kind of watch traffic because it was like a lot of restaurants and stuff in that area you can see the traffic moving to the other side of the street around him like the foot traffic I mean of course like trying the foot traffic trying to get around this guy because he had these two fucking

monsters these dogs with like traps where they're just laying there on the street I fucking hated that guy hope it's going to pull for that yeah my go-to date is I'm going to cook you dinner we're going to watch a movie like that that's what I want to do I want you to come over to my place dinner will be ready and 10 minutes after you come in the door

we'll have some drinks then we'll eat dinner and then watch a movie and then hopefully we end up in bed what's the movie that's Terminator 2 yeah it depends it depends on the girl you know we would probably talk about that beforehand. I chat about movies a lot with girls. So like we would have a movie picked out probably. I would I would do what I do to you find the movie that she hasn't seen that she should have seen and then I will educate her. What would you put on to me? If she sees

the movie, this date's going horribly wrong. My movie is always shitty horror movie because then girls love horror movies because they're dumb. And then also like halfway through since it's dog shitty, it's just some whatever you found on Amazon. You can be like, God, this is kind of boring this is lame don't you think and then start touching places and then one thing leads to another bang bang boom uh the stuff i put their drink kicks in by the second i mean if they're coming back to your place after a restaurant or bar the deal is already sealed and so usually we would just do what we're going to do and then after that it we would watch a movie or something on TV and that would be the

moment where it was like I do if she decides to stay I guess I have like she's got a she can stay over but post coital movie with a stranger's crazy well I'm down I like to get coital

because you're going to do your sex stuff and then you're going to watch the movie and then usually in the middle of that you do it again and go back like it but then by that point I remember one girl. I remember one girl. I did not have anything. She was like, do you have anything else to drink in the house? And I was like, well, I've got a, oh, I've got a bottle of, most of a bottle of tequila here, I forgot about. And I have green gatorade. So, these are the options. You're a real, don't draper over here. But guess what? Don't fret. I got a whole.

an unopened bag of dots pretzels. I was an approach to dating, or at least the thing he told me once. Blue my mind is an amazing idea. Girls like, you're not going to call me again after this, are you? I'm calling you. I'm going to call you a couple times a week maybe. We're doing my favorite thing here. Why would I, once I found someone who's down for this,

why would I make that a one-time thing? I've never understood that. I've always seen it in movies and TV, and I've known, I've heard girls be like, ah, you know, some guys, some guys won't call you back or, I don't get it. It's like, what, you found someone who's attractive, who will fuck you. Why would you, like, not call them back to come back over and fuck you again? Kyle gets laid more with this one simple. Please, please, please, please.

You're not going to call me back, are you? bitch I don't even live here you don't even know my real name the fucking lizard king there's a smell coming out of that bedroom closet wasn't there wonder what's in there who loved green gatorade and to kill

I remember that evening so specifically because I was like ah fuck it's not even one of the good Gatorade flavors it's green it's not even red or blue or white's still around white white's still a good herb i don't know if white

gatorade is still around but that was a solid one for a bit i mean that's why the gatorade lasted drank the better ones perhaps i would keep lots of booze around for ladies there'd be like you know three or four different hard liquors and two or three different kinds of wine coolers and like like that cat williams bit like i heard that one time i was like makes fucking sounds let's get some alizia up in here that is a hilarious bit i got shit my house what did Michael Jackson has his house. Fucking playgrounds, carnivals, little clowns and monkeys and shit. Matt Williams is so fucking funny.

I think he is so underrated in interviews, not necessarily in stand-up, but in interviews and shit, that guy is hysterical. He's naturally funny. He's delivery is always really good. His reactions to just random questions are just hysterical. His Shannon Sharp interview, very funny. Shannon Sharpe's in trouble. I think he got fired from everywhere. I don't know if his show's still on.

He had that lady. Do you have a sugar baby? Is that what he had? He had something like that. There was this chick. He was banging. And I think they were into like some race play and some dirty talk. And then she like sued him for sex assault, I think, or something.

And he settled for like millions and millions of dollars maybe. Damn. She was dropping ends on him. him and then get money for it? I think it was the, I think it was, I think it was the other way around. I think it was more like, like, I don't want to repeat. I can't repeat what she was saying to him, the text message.

It's that bad. Okay, I'll take a word for it. It was more like he was the dominant one in this, in this text relationship. And it was like lots of like mean, dirty talk back and forth. And what he explained was like role play, but she said was abuse. And anyway,

she got her money she got that bag millions and millions of dollars and he was on ESPN i think so he had like uh he had he's got a he had a bunch of deals like like he was everywhere there from it he had blown up recently and he had gotten really popular and his uh his podcast or whatever that thing is where he interviews people but where i saw him do cat williams um was was really popping off it was doing really well it's good show i like him and his big old white chompers he's one of those people that got the the the fake teeth that just look completely unrealistic. Like Steve Harvey. Really? Like Steve Harvey.

Gigantic white chompers. A lot of Brazilian soccer players, I see do the same thing. They'll have these huge pearly white, perfect teeth. Olivaida did that. The UFC fighter. He's Brazilian, too. He's got these massive fake-ass white teeth.

I think Steve Harvey in those clips where he's reacting absurdly to something someone says on Family Feud are very funny. Maybe that makes me low. class but when he's like oh Lord you did not just say I think that's kind of funny

I hate it so much it feels so contrived like okay we asked a hundred studio participants to name something with P you might put in your wife but it starts with Pee and then someone's like penis and he's like oh my God how could you this is wild

and I'm like shut the fuck there was one recently where it was like shit that's not funny that's obvious. The whole game is fucking backwards where you're supposed to come up with the most obvious answer. That's the most come up with the one that only two people thought of

and I'm impressed. Come up with the one that 72 people thought of you basic bitch that Family Feud is stupid. It's too risky. Here's a question recently. The two, leaving all the others on the table. If they say what's... Right. And the two has least amount of value, but the game is backwards. The game is asking

you to think of the most obvious answer to this question. That's stupid. it. In middle school, I had a friend who I'm almost positive was on the spectrum. And we like went and had like a birthday party out somewhere. I don't remember probably Dave and Busters or something. And then we went back to his house, a group of us, all his friends. And we were like, what are we going to do now? And he was like, we're going to watch Family Feud. All he wanted to do was watch Family Feud. And like his sister told me, it was like, yeah, every day after school, he comes back and he watches every single episode of Family Feud. All he wanted to do was watch Family Feud. And like, yeah, every day after school, he comes back and he watches every single episode of Family Feud. feud on the GS, the game show network that used, I don't know if that's still around, but it was at the time. It's a good show. It's, I liked, I like Family Feud. You know what else I saw?

So if you have a Samsung smart TV, they have, uh, this nonsense TV added into it included with Samsung. They have Samsung TV, the service that's just included on it. And it has a bunch of random channels. And I found a channel that for. Three to four weeks now is nothing but supermarket sweep. And I have never seen an episode of supermarket sweep. And I watched some of it.

My grandparents were in town. My brothers were over. It was a couple weekends, a few weekends ago now. And I just put on supermarket sweep in the background. And before long, we were watching it like, what do you think this is? And it's like, I don't know. They're naming, which are the following products cost more than $1.99? and they named three things

and this was filmed in 1990. So, okay, so what are these? Then they would like give quiz questions of like, the guy gives like three word clues, like cleaning, sophisticated, scrubbing. And then you would have to guess the product name and half the time at some product doesn't exist anymore. But, and I guess Kyle might know it,

but like Woody, did you ever watch supermarket sweep and did you like that show? I wasn't a savvy enough shopper to appreciate the genius that they were put in on. It's a little before my time. And Price is Right is like a much better put together version of... Sure, sure. It is. I always like Price is Right. When you stayed home sick from school, Price's Right was the jam. It would be on, get that chicken noodle soup in bed when you shouldn't be in the middle of the day and watching Price is Right. I love that. I think Drew Carey does it now. I tune in every now and then watch like one segment. I'm like, yeah, it's still a good show. This is fun. And it must make so much money because every fucking product is a sponsored product and it's consumer products. And it's consumer, it's like the perfect demographics watching it. These housewives at home, watch,

like, oh, honey, guess what the new fucking whirlpool washing machine costs? Only $7.99. Like, it's, it's, it's tailor made to sell shit. And, and it's also fun to watch. Can you say all that again, because I've just watched this gift you, like, three times. Fuck, yeah, right? Fish sent me that. He's like, two thumbs up. Oh, God.

That chick's pre-fat. Oh, those two. No way she ages well. I don't know if we could show that video. The bitch is stacked. You can see her nipples. They're probably not. She has, like,

I don't even know that bra size. Gee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it's a T? We've got, I know, right? We've gotten deep in the alphabet.

Oh, my goodness, those are big. They're huge. Small tit enjoyer over here, so, you know, obviously I was... All tit enjoyer. And those are... Yeah, I was born man, so I still enjoy it, you know? They're all right. Cash or $100.

As long as they're symmetrical. I don't want, like, like, three little pigs situations going on. Well, three would be sick. Like in total recall? All right. Would you rather have three? three or two to two yeah the normal human amount yeah normal the normal person amount is you wouldn't date the free all right i'm a slave to society i don't want all that attention

how about this two to the house i got one at eight and i'm sucking on the other this is all right where we go all right this is in fair he has a career in sales previously I know, Cal is quite strong there. And here's the other thing. If she doesn't show her cleavage, like if she wears a top that like doesn't show cleavage, won't be able to tell. They'll just look like there's a lot of teeth.

So you don't, you won't necessarily be like a freaking street. I think, yeah, you'd know something was up because the proportions would be weird. They'd be too much to the side. Yeah. You would just people be like, oh,

I just got some big old titties. You'd look weird as fuck. I'd be like, Is this movie women have three equal size boobies? They have to be symmetrical. I don't want like two big ones on the outside and then one in the little like they're subwoofers or something. No, but then you could pretend you're with two girls.

I don't think four for that. Like four is far too many. Then you have to start and put them in rows like a dog. Oh, God. Oh, well, that's horrid. I don't like that. I'm out. Yeah, yeah.

Then it starts being fucked up. But three, three I'd be okay. with. Like, Zach, try to find a picture of the... You ever had a friend with a dog that just gave birth and they have those big like dog titties and you're like, this is pretty

garish. Like, this is like can you put your dog in the fucking laundry room while I'm over? I don't want to look at this fucking thing. I don't want to look at his fucking nipples hanging around. It's weird. It's not how dogs are meant to look. They're meant to be joyful and scampy. I got a picture

of the chick with the three tits. It's not a great picture. but it is a movie from like 87 or whatever. How about this? Normal three-titted woman or a two-titted woman who's into blood play. And the three-titted woman has what you described, which is a smaller titty in the middle. Dude, I'm avoiding the blood play at almost all costs. You'd have an easier time asking what would you pick blood play over?

And it would be like... About a man or a blood play girl. I've got to go with the blood play unless it's like peak Orlando Bloom you know what I mean and he's in the legless makeup hear me out okay oh he's got the long hair from the back you can't even you don't even you don't even know and he's going to regale you with all those tails of being on set

every time his male voice comes out you're like shut up in Elvis while you're fucking Orlando from behind he's going to be like actually when he kicked that helmet he broke his foot you know he adopted the horse Why did you do Why'd you do the fucking Hobbit I'm pretty sure Orlando Bloom is single now

Do you just break up with Katie Perry He's in a dark place? By the way he hangs dong more than Bruce Willis does I know that I saw a picture of Orlando Bloom's dick one time And that thing was offensively big Hmm He was like paddle boarding naked or something

Didn't give a fuck He's 48 now Yeah yeah I'm like I said I'm wanting 2001 Orlando Bloom I'd choose him over the blood play girl but mostly because I want to chat Lord of the Rings with him and see if in 2001 he might be able to squeeze me into the return of the king

they're still shooting it. Okay. I could be a dwarf, just stick me in the back. Let me shoot an arrow. Let me shoot an arrow or something, you know, get a quick cutaway where I go, that's all I need. Yeah.

I'm more than a guy's got elf vibes. You can be like that one-eyed Roherom who like leases his arrow too early. You could have been like, That guy said that gave him a lot of confidence because he'd always been very ashamed of the eye and kept it hidden under a patch. Really?

Yeah. He'd never acted before. He's a local from a village there in New Zealand. The one-eyed guy? That explains why he'd loose the arrow too quickly. He did a great job. I didn't, like in his facial expressions and everything. He did look genuinely shocked when he accidentally loosed the arrow.

Good for him. I didn't know that was just some random guy. But I guess I should have guessed because apparently every horse in New Zealand was under use from Lord of the Rings. A huge amount of locals were just conscripted to be like, hey, we'll give you, I don't know, $800 and 2001 money, and we just paint you up like an Urachai and put a bunch of realistic features. And then you've got to run in there and do X, Y, Z. You got to either pretend to take an arrow or you got to swing at Eragorn and then, you know, or actually they would, you know,

those would be pros. These would be the background guys who just kind of got shot in fell down i would yeah yeah great movies yeah yeah the blood play is just a a no go um i don't think i'd actually pick the dude but man i like what about obese out versus blood yeah obese 300 pounds obese over blood uh 300 pounds they yeah that's vile any amount of fat well make it 500 and i'm still going to pick that monster over blood, where I have to cut myself and I have to cut her and drink her blood. Okay, so you hit on where

I'm headed with this. So up until now, we've been saying, blood play. And I think because we haven't been specific, your mind runs wild. Let's get specific about the blood play and what it's going to be. The blood play is going to be you have to cut her back with a knife. And

she's going to take the blood in her hands, and she's going to rub it on her tits while you fuck her and then after that everybody cleans up get some neosporin and uh you know we chill that's going to be the extent of the blood play you will not ingest any blood um she might but that you won't get any of it on on you um unless my mattress you're gonna lay a towel down for sure with this kind of sex if you did if you're not already um you know yeah like a second towel down is this an every time thing or is this an every time thing it's like a once a month

wedding I think if you want a blow job she wants to get cut it's gonna be like that like oh you want your oh you get your thing but I don't get my thing okay

it's gonna be every time I guess I could try make a little cut I could try and make a little cut over the 300 pound woman because here's the thing about a 300 pound woman I don't know though

I can't take her anywhere I can't take her you're not taking her anywhere you're just hooking up at your place in this okay in this scenario. Is that not right? That's fine.

This is all... It's in flux. It's in flux. Yeah, yeah. It's in flux. But we solidified. Okay, we're not going to date her, date her. We're just going to have like weekly fuck fuck sessions at our place.

Oh, weekly. Hmm. She won't even be healed from the last cut. I just think that a 300 pound woman is going to have, even if she showers before she leaves her house, by the time she gets to me, she's going to have a smell. I feel like she's going to have a smell.

Like when she spreads her legs, I feel like I'm going to get hit with some warm air, and it's going to be odorous. You ever get, you ever get, you ever go to get down there and eat some pussy? And it's like, man, this thing is giving off so much heat that I felt the pussy before I got to it. You know what I mean? Yeah. We all know what I mean. But it would be bad. Or you smell it and you're like, something's wrong.

You're like, oh. What's the top here? This is a fingering kind of beef. Like gloves. Kissing your way down her stomach and then like immediately make your way back up. No, I can't. I've got mad. They're not present.

Mad herpes. Can't do it right now. Yeah. Smelly pussy is just a, it's a huge no-go. Like I've, I've fucked chicks before and been like, I got to go wash my dick. Like, this is, this is, I feel bad for him. Like, like, it's no good.

Like, like my penis smells right now. I can smell my dick as I walk through the house. I don't know. If it's a one-off. the idea of all the blood being around is so off being around it's not in jars we're just going to scratch her up a little nice you said she's rubbing it all over herself there's blood all over her bed she's not going to stay on the fucking towel they never stay on the fucking towel you know like it's going to get everywhere it's going to ruin my pillowcases meanwhile the big fat bitch even if she personally smells, only a small amount of the smell transfer will occur, and I can eliminate all of that in a wash cycle.

But you've got to deal with it, like when you're in there, you know? I've never done that before either. I think you can grind through that. Actually, I don't know. Both of those are so unattractive. Yeah, I'd rather be celibate. Hey, that's the option. That's the truth, right?

I'd rather just jerk off. I'm taking option C. I know what I like. Option. You know what I like. I'm going to get this done in five minutes and the room's not going to be stinky or bloodstained. I was just telling a story earlier about how gay it feels when you're like getting head from a chick and you're like, you're like giving her advice to make it feel better. It's like, I've never done it before, but trust me, I think I'd be pretty fucking good at it.

I think it could be a natural. Take it from an expert, hypothetically. I know all this shit that feels good. I think I'd be able to figure it out. Makes sense. Yeah, I've always figured that women would be really good at oral sense. Congolingus. Cunglingus.

And if it's the butthole, it's analinguish. That would's easier to pronounce. Yes. One day I'll find the Clint. All right. On that note, we're going to hear from BetterHelp. This episode of PCA is brought to you by today's sponsor, BetterHelp. So let's hear a little about their service.

Life is full of twists and turns, and it's. important for you to show up for yourself through it all. Mental and dental, got to take care of it all. We're very serious about everyone taking care of their physical health here on PCAA and maintaining a healthy physique, but mental health is just as important and you need to work to keep your mind in shape as well as your body. Start getting in the mental reps with the help of a professional over at Better Help. Better Help is not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional therapy done securely online available to people all over the world. Invest in your mental well-being now and get started with our partner BetterHelp. Let therapy be your

map with BetterHelp. They've also got a special deal, special offer for our listeners. Save 10% off your first month over at BetterHelp.com slash P-K-A. That's 10% off your first month of online therapy over at B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash P-A. Again, that's 10% off your first month of therapy over at B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash P-K. betterhelp.com slash PKA. Check it out. If you think you're in need, think you could be helped by this,

give it a go. See if it's the right thing for you. So betterhelp.com slash PKK. Give it a go. Check them out. This episode is also brought to you by lock and load. Lock and load folks, the premium creamium come enhancing supplement.

taking the world by storm, everyone is going to love it. Everyone's going to enjoy it. You're going to impress your girlfriend, your boyfriend. You know, we don't care. We don't judge. You enjoy yourselves. You have fun in the privacy of your own home with lock and load. Or if maybe you own property, maybe you own property in a farm and you can fuck out in the fields.

Have fun with that, guys. So lock and load. Use code PKK, use code jiz. But it doesn't stop there, folks. You need any and all supplements, efficaciously dose. not this hokom, not this horse shit from a lot of other supplement companies, efficaciously dosed, fantastically high quality, gorilla mind.com supplements. You need pre-workouts, you need weight loss supplements, you need dream supplements.

You need protein powder, protein bars, energy, I think I said energy drinks already, but there's a ton of stuff over there. You're going to enjoy it. And even if you foolheartedly decide you are not going to go with lock and load and you get a bunch of other stuff, you can still use code PKK there, getting a nice 10% off. So check that out.

And also our merchandise. Be sure to get yourself a hoodie, a hat, a sweatshirt, stickers. Mugs, stickers, whatever you prefer, anything you like over there at our store, and use code PKK10 to get 10% off of that. And so check those out. And, of course, be sure.

Be sure if you feel like it's the right solution for you or it could be a good avenue, go to BetterHelp.com slash PCA, get 10% off your first month of online therapy, professional therapy done securely, could work for you. So check that out. And if you just want to send us money, the Patreon's down there, you can give a buck, you get five bucks, you've 10, you have 50, you can hang out with us and watch us cry about UFC when it goes poorly. Yes.

Or Kyle, had a rough one. Have you rebounded? No, I'm serious. I meant what I said. Like, I won't watch the next few events. Like, I'll probably come back whenever Islam fights in a couple months or something like that. But no, that, whenever my guys lose or whenever, like, an enemy wins, I got a, I got to step away for a while and pretend like that sport doesn't exist until it's out of my, I don't know, out of my mind. Maybe, maybe who, what's his name?

Drickestoulesi, Kamsat Shamaev. Comes out as what I was looking for. Maybe he'll win you over. I mean, you were rooting for Strickland when DDP made him look like a bitch. I like Strickland. I still do. Strickland's a good guy. Like, Strickland is an outspoken, like...

He's an asshole. Yeah, sure. He is an asshole. But he's honest about his assholes. And it's not calculated. It's just a character flaw. I don't agree with that part either. I think it's his brand now.

But like, he's intentionally catering to people who like being reassured that it's okay to be an asshole. And like now it's his brand. And he says stupid fucking shit in an effort to get attention and stay relevant because his fighting doesn't get that done. I think he's just uncouth and kind of a dummy about stuff. But maybe not. I think he's a good guy at heart. I see him, you know, in the gym talking about like going easy on the new guys and not

roughing up sparring partners. I know Combs up to Maif was known for just abusing guys and just wrecking nobs and stuff in there. Kind of like Strickland's known for doing that, right? well no he does that he doesn't take on streamers streamers come and ask to spar him and he spars them hard and they know that because they know what they're getting into they want a viral clip they're happy to take a punch i don't know i don't think they're so happy about i'd like to hear him say it themselves i if he i think they get more than they bargained for they you're going to spar with him

you wouldn't you know what was you i would not spar with strickland because i know what's coming Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I think, like, I have this idea. Let's say that I'm rolling with Joe Rogan, right? Joe Rogan absolutely smashes me in whatever style he chooses to. That's how a fight with me and Joe Rogan would go. So I put this, like, responsibility on him to keep me safe in the same way that I would if I was like, I don't know, tickling a nephew or something like that.

Like, all right, all right, you know, I'm wrestling with the kid, having a good time. And obviously, I could smash this kid, but I don't because he's a child and, you know, it's not an even match. That's how I expect Rogan to treat me. And when Strickland does that, he's like, look how much better I am than these untrained influencers. They know that they're getting into that, though, because he did just do it once. He's done it like three or four times. Everybody knows. And I'm, I promise you that it's calculated where beforehand they're like, yeah, dude, fucking clobbered me.

is going to be great on my i'm going to get a million views out of this is going to be great for for engagements if i get beat up and it becomes a controversy they wouldn't get in there if they it's clearly going to be a hard spar like like and i agree with everything you said like you should you should treat some if we're just goofing around or light sparring or you're showing me the ropes i don't know anything about taekwondo joe show me how to do that spin kick like i don't expect him to kick me across the room and break my ribs with it but if i'm like if i'm like if i I'm trying to take Joe's head off. If I'm going after him with everything I got and we're hard sparring, quote

unquote, I might get my ribs caved in by Joe Rogan because I know he's going to kick me hard. I don't know. I don't think he's an asshole, but I don't think it's like a calculated meanness as much as it is. This guy's a bit of a dumb, the dumb, and he's uncouth. But some of it is, like some of his more controversial stuff he's saying for clicks, I'm sure. But Comzat is, he means everything he says. I remember him screaming, Hala Hu Akbar on 9-11, and then talking about, like, I don't know if I'm going to be at the next fight.

I don't like that. I'm going to ask. Yeah, yeah. There's one thing I hate more than a Muslim. It's a white Muslim, race trainer. He's, he was saying, like, I don't know if I'll be at the next fight. It depends if the sheik will let me go fight in Israel. Like, and this is before Israel went too hard.

This is back when we were like, October 7th, oh, my God. Right. During those times, he's like, perhaps the sheik will let me go and kill Israelis it's like whoa dude you just won they asked they asked what the fight was like what the answer is that and then you know he took on the belt a shit belt like he's he's a jerk he's and he's not turning heel he's a piece of shit he's just he's a bad guy i i hear he has a school for children and the first thing i think is didn't know some of milton have a school for children you're not is it a good school or is it a lebron james school

wiring and stuff like that going on there. They're making a lot of those clocks, those digital clocks. Remember that kid? The digital clock, they said it was a bomb. Interesting. His school gets shit on too much. He tried to do a fast at nails. Didn't his school like fail to produce even one mathematically competent student for like multiple years?

This is kind of. There's one class in his school that like year by year by year isn't getting better and they're not passing in math, like, just like you said. But it's not like the whole, it's not like the school didn't produce anyone. Like that shit fifth grade class became a shit sixth grade class, became a shit seventh grade class. It's the same one. And it's during COVID where like they didn't come to the school. It's just a wrecked group year of students.

But the thing is, his school cherry picks the worst of the worst students. Like you're not even eligible to enter the LeBron James school. lottery unless you're bottom 25 percent. Every one of those kids is like the worst kid in the worst city in Ohio. And they have records, they're screaming, they do walk

and talks, which is if they don't feel like dealing with this shit, they just leave the room and yell in the hallways and shit. Every, like, he's building the X-Men school, but for retards? Yeah, like, maybe you've seen that one the F-Men.

The one super disruptive kid in your school who could ruin the whole class for everyone. The class size is 12, right? But they have like a dozen of these alpha dip shits and they're trying to make them good students. And I think it's

like the opposite of mainstreaming. It's like they take all the worst kids, put them together and hope for good results. They have a tough road to hoe. Yeah. It looks like it's more than just one class based on the 2023 article saying

that the vast majority of the third grade class is falling behind. And then a 2024 article saying the entire eighth grade class hasn't passed in three years. So that's the class of talking about. The one that that eighth grade class hasn't passed in three years when they were seventh graders and when they were sixth graders. And they're all falling behind like you said. But the thing is they're not catching up. They're doing shit.

It's not going well. I'm not pretending it's going well. The whole school is underperforming. Yeah. But it's a school. filled with underperformers. At least they're not in regular classrooms fucking up, you know.

Yeah, that's true. I have a real hard time measuring teachers. It's incredibly complicated, right? If you're in freaking Southern California and all of your people have, and you're a dentist, and all your patients have perfect teeth, congratulations, you're playing life on easy mode.

You take that same dentist and put them in West Virginia where these guys brag about having dozens of teeth. And, you know, now all of a sudden that dentist will look unqualified. So much of how well a teacher does is based on the students and the families. Yeah, I mean, most... The family, it's mostly families. I think, I don't know, man. I remember being, I remember being four.

Or the students themselves. Yeah, you said, yeah. I remember being four and, like, studying with my mom, learning to, like, read and write and do basic math. So that when I got to school, I knew that stuff. already and I had this running start where like dude I know my colors like you know what I mean like we can skip over this part or when we do this part I don't know I mean focus on something else because I know what brown is already I can write it out I don't think if you're not doing that with your kids then they're behind and if you multiply that by 12 years of schooling

you know I remember being in fucking sixth grade me and my mom sitting down doing diorama projects about fucking plesiosaurs or whatever and like I had somebody there to make sure I did the work and to like sit with me and do it with me if need be like if i wasn't going to do it she was going to sit there and be like no we're doing this together let's get this done and if you don't have a parent at home who who cares about your education um i don't think you're going to get there with regular schooling because you could be the best eighth grade teacher ever of all time but if seven six five and four didn't get them their basic math their basic language arts their basic stuff like that, then you have no structure to build with.

They don't have the tools to learn history and science. They don't know how to read and write yet. And if the entire school is filled with the type of student you're talking about, right? There aren't any good students to model after either. Every one of these kids was a throwaway kid, for lack of a better term. And LeBron's like, bring them to my school. It's second chance university or whatever they call it, something close to that. and uh yeah it seems like it should be called like five strikes university right it's got to be a lower

number taylor they can't count to five but it's it's a well-funded school that's not getting good results and i'm and just like i don't know how to get them better results unless they start mixing in better students you get six personal fouls in an NBA game taylor is that the rule i think so the uh i think that um for one thing you're getting those trouble kids out of the classrooms that may be fucking up other kids because I specifically remember trouble kids ending the education for the day because they had to be dealt with. I remember Anthony Winkfield lying in the middle of the floor in the doorway doing that three Stooges bit where you lay on your side and run around circles.

It was the fourth grade. It was the fourth grade. He always came to school like he had been up all night the night before. Like he didn't sleep. He would be up till four in the morning and then come into fourth grade exhausted and had sleep through half the day and then be a troublemaker when he woke up and had energy um like like we would fill out there's what are your favorite foods motherfucker couldn't spell hot dog you know like like we're we're high i don't know if there's anything more fanatic no he's thank god the favorite food was hot dogs and not fucking spaghetti yeah he was he slowed the rest of us down until they finally stuck his ass in special ed and then he dropped out of school four years later in like eighth or ninth grade

and now he's in prison shocking yeah and not the pool time like i went to get a whole jacked guy prison for those that guy's big dicks i gave up on fucking reading dude in the third i want to say third grade we had this this program that's so late to not read no well uh so i i was kind of like i was talking about my parents like put head priority on my education. It was like, I get home, like as soon as they got home from work, it was like, there was a Lashki kid. And it was like, as soon as I got home, like my homework had to be done and they'd sit down and like review it with me. And they did that for me and all my siblings. But it's like, like take this shit fucking seriously and they cared, which, you know,

thank God, shouts out mom and dad. And then they would like read to us all the time and we were a little little. And then eventually, like when we got to the age where we could read on our own, it was kind of the expectation like bedtime, you know, everybody sits and reads for half an hour, 45 minutes, whatever it was. Well, in third grade, they had this program where I can't remember what the reward was at the end of it, but there was sheets of graph paper that the teacher had put up on the wall. And it was, you read a book, you sit down at the one computer in the classroom and you take a test. And it was like a comprehension test to essentially prove that you had, you know, you read the book and you knew what was going on in it. And so I read like a motherfucker

when I was a kid like we just blazed through you know Harry Potter books in a couple of days and I'd go and take these tests and so every every day we had this like designated reading time and I take the test and then obviously the the more complex a book is or the longer it is the more points it's worth so a Harry Potter book is worth you know 600 points or something and you know if a fucking the very hungry caterpillar is worth three and so I very quickly had went all the way up on this graph paper because every 10 points you got, she'd put a stamp all the way up to the ceiling and then she put another set of graph paper and started going up. And it was me and there was this girl, Katie, something, I can't remember

her name. But we were basically like in competition with each other. We're at about the same level. And so her and I were kind of going back and forth every day and we're making our way across the fucking classroom because we're getting thousands of these points. And our teacher pulled us out in the hallway and she was like it's a paraphrase essentially was like listen the fucking retards in the class who can barely read are getting really depressed that you guys are really good at this so um i'm going to keep track of your points but i'm not going to document it on the wall anymore boo yeah and dude the next day it was like here's our designated reading time and i was like i'm on strike are you happy i'm in it for the fucking points bitch

You just convinced a nine-year-old to give up on reading, you dumb bitch. Oh, that's... So it's the accelerated reader program, is what you're talking about. It was wonderful. I loved it. It made me love reading and introduced me to love reading. And I would always pick the biggest books I could because they had the most points. I remember reading Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry.

It's about a sharecropping black family in like the early 1900s dealing with prejudice. And they're like, I didn't know any of that stuff. We weren't being taught that. It was great to read that. and it was like a bunch of points. But we partnered that with the relay for life or something. So you could run like a quarter mile and you got like one point or you got like a straw and then the straws converted to points or something like that.

Or you could read. Both were ways to get points for this like thing we were doing for, I think cancer. And I was like, I don't want to run. I would much rather read because that's clearly the faster way to get points if you're literate. Like I remember reading it, whatever, 12th grade level or whatever, like fourth grade or something like that. So it was like, it wasn't a problem. I could peel through those books quickly and get tons of points.

I think we got a pizza party. I think we're getting, oh, we were getting pizza hut coupons for free pizza. The personal pan pizza. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, that's what we were getting. I found that. We didn't have that. So Fish came in clutch.

He found that big titted chick from earlier. This is their Instagram. Zach, maybe you could find like a show. safe photo of her to to show off that was a good page good find apparently from that video it went that like video went viral and she got

a playboy contract you saw her the 28 minutes person I have no idea who and once he's like I found that big pitty girl's big titty girls big titty girls Instagram I'm like oh I do recognize the jugs I can tell it's the same girl and I didn't even glance at her face

in the first I also noticed she's wearing the same necklace I was I I googled her name I found her Twitter I'm like Is she a philosopher like Who is this person But yeah she's a philosopher She's a real philosopher

Anyway I can't look at this Welcome to PKK Four guys stare at giant tits in silence They should click the video and they can look at the tits with us I bet they'll have their mouths open too Dude the only thing that are

Audio only listeners Right Big Buba They were big Buba up there I don't even know how to describe them I don't know what the letters go to at some point Like you did The Cucca

R Yeah It's like a double G Double H something like Half like through the alphabet We call them in me right They're cantalope size They kind of sag a little bit

They look natural to me Really? They're in a real or fake. If it's a big, they're incredibly perky. Where you could see her nipples on the lace thing, the first one that you sent, those look like proportionate nipples to those giant tits. Click the second link I sent here.

It's a pretty good swimsuit. It's pretty revealing swimsuit she's wearing there. My goodness. Congrats to her and her daddy. I want to shake his hand. Big time shout out to this girl. yeah wow dude the only thing that i can remember like my kindergarten and like first grade teachers keeping track of like we didn't have a cool reading bar or anything like that maybe there was

something analogous for grades the only thing i really remember though is that they had this like big wall that had all our names on it and under each name was a pocket like a if you ever seen those like shoe holders you put over a closet thing it was like that but smaller pockets and if you got in trouble they would put a yellow card it was like soccer they'd put cards in there yellow orange red baby yep and i remember multiple times hitting at least to the orange not for anything egregious like just being a little kid and i talked in class a lot i was gregarious i i would interrupt by talking and joking with my friend alex and so very so often throughout like first grade

I would just be like look I'd be like okay we're already at the orange card a red card means I have to take a note home to mom and dad I can make it through the rest of the day what time is it's 941 in the morning we go to the principal's office you got a red you went to the

principal's office also if you got a hundred on a test you went to the principal's office what what you got like a congratulations like these kids all got perfect scores and he'd like I don't know when you're when you're in second grade the principal is an important guy you're like you're happy you're happy to get the compliment from him you know he's the boss around here he runs his shit i'm sure my grade school principal is long dead but i do remember he had a

like fraternity style paddle that had like entered lore they hit us with it i never got in school oh i got hit in elementary school and in middle school yeah swats middle school yes i was in maybe eighth grade or is it sixth grade i didn't do seventh so it has to be one or the other um so you're like either either kind of behavior would get you hit i'm trying to remember what i did um i genuinely don't remember what i did to get the swats um but but i got i think three or maybe five so somewhere in there and i remember they don't tell you when they're going to happen So for days I was wearing Like every pair of underwear I had

I was wearing like legitimately like eight nine pairs of underwear I tried that on my dad yeah And we were in like I remember being in gym And like changing out for uh to play basketball And like look at my look at me a pair underwear I got on I'm not gonna feel anything They're like holy shit that's the best idea ever And somebody was like hitting me with like a chair or something

Not a chair but like something like paddle like I don't feel nothing this is great But like they drug on and on and on. And after a while, I ran out of clean underwear. And my mom's like, why are you going through all these underwear like this?

You can't wear eight. How many pairs are you wearing? And so I had the day I had to go back to school with just one pair of briefs on. I got called to the office and they're like, bend over. And he hit me fucking hard. I remember thinking like, that really hurt.

Like I didn't cry, but I could have. And I remember thinking like, man, he didn't hold back. He knocked the shit out of me. I haven't been hit this hard. Forever. He saw the padding. I remember I tried that when I was very young with my dad because I had done something bad, I guess. And my mom pulled the, you wait until your father gets home. And I'm like a little kid. And so I know that means trouble's coming. And so like I heard my friend Joe, the guy who would later become the fire poy guy who was clearly experienced with being in trouble. He was like, just put on a bunch of underwear. And I was like, that's brilliant. And so for like the two hours between school and my dad getting home, I'm walking around.

the house like J-Lo, just I was going to say, you said, you said he's in your damn, you're like, your ass was never this juicy and thick before. Did it work? Did your father just hit the underwear and let it go? Son, you're all kicked up. What happened? He knew what happened. And I had to, I had to

take the protective layer off and then he smacked me. We had a, I never went to a school where they hit the students, but we had a transfer. Shout out to Jesse Shima. He was from Las Vegas and they beat the kids there apparently. Our minds were blown. And I was very interested in the culture of hitting the kids and what it was like.

And I was like, did you cry? He's like, yeah, yeah, everybody cries. Nobody brings it up. Nobody brings it up. It is a social non-event. There is a social contract in Las Vegas that if the teacher beats the student, you know, that's a sore spot that we lead alone. Damn, that's rough.

Yeah, I remember it. I think I got it twice. Elementary school, again, I don't remember what I did, but I got a couple swats in elementary school. And the same thing, I remember being like, that really fucking hurt. I think I may have tiered up for sure in elementary school when they whacked me. I can't remember for the life of me what I did. I was always getting in trouble for like just talking or just, I don't know, like, I'm not some super, I wasn't some super genius or anything, but I'd finish my work early and I'd be sitting there with nothing to do. And I remember specifically, like, One day I put Elmer's glue all over my hands, and I was letting it dry to make, like, glue gloves. And that was, like, a principal office parent conference. Holy shit. And then, and then, oh, Ms. Evan had it. Am, are you aware your son is being a child? That was fourth grade. I remember Miss Evans had it out for me.

We had so many parent teacher conferences. We lived so close to the school. Like, you could walk, like, half mile from the school. And my dad would show up stinking from the chick. kicking houses what is it this time what did he do what did he do did he sneeze and she's like he flushed the toilet with his foot have you been in a little boys room ma'am it's piss everywhere i remember him saying piss with a hard pee there's piss everywhere in there's no i flush it with my foot too keep flushing it with your foot yeah oh for sure oh we miss evans was a fucking

problem. I hope she's fucking dead. You suburban driving six foot two big bird looking bitch. I hope she's dead. I hope she flipped that suburban and died. I hope she was pinned under it for hours. Like the lady at the beginning of signs. Yes. But she didn't get that loving moment with her husband at the end before they pulled the wreckage away and her entrails spilled out on the cold pavement. Raccoon showed up instead. They could have done more to save that woman in signs. It was literally like some sheriff's deputy who was like, hey, there's no possible way to save her. I haven't talked to anyone about it, but we're going to back up. There's a domestic on maple. We got to get to it. I like signs. You finished his work first and that when I was in fourth

grade, it's seemingly every day. There'd be this little canister. It held like four pieces of paper. Imagine an inbox outbox, but two of them next to each other. And you grab the little worksheet, you do it, you put it away and grab number two, and you work your way through the four worksheets happened every day. I was like the fastest at finishing these worksheets. I was just ripping through these things. And in my mind, I was the smartest kid in class. Unbeknownst to me, I'm not getting fuck all right. He's like, I think your kids retarded. He's like, I I'm going to move on to special needs classes. I'm like, no, maybe I should just do it slower.

It should take a little more time. I remember like always feeling that same level of stoked on myself when in grade school they would hand out like the minute math sheets where it was like 80 multiplication or division questions like simple shit and like nothing hard on a paper. And they would be like, all right, ready, set, go. And like once you got all of it done. The thing to do was to like look up and around at everyone else in the class and be like, yeah, I think we know who came out on top here today. And meanwhile, it was like, it's like four times four. Yeah. Like nine times five. I put in 34. You weren't even getting it right? I was not. I was so bad. Even vaguely. They pulled me out. I had a, because I went to a Catholic school for elementary school. And they had a nun teach me with like flash out in the hallway while everybody else was getting normal math lessons because they're like god

this kid's fucking retarded great at everything else cannot do math to this day my brain doesn't work that way but she had a mustache she had like seven wiry she looked like um uh snoopy's mexican brother she like had that mustache and she sit out there and do flashcards yeah with me and i would just stare at her fucking mustache the entire time i'd be like i don't know seven i don't of six still to this day can't do fucking math my time to shine though was popcorn reading when you go around the room and it jumps from person to person oh yeah i love popcorn reading i can pick up any book right now and read it like it was fucking posted on audible you're stumbling over vocabulary words get the fuck out of here you'll beat me at math but

never at reading i do you remember like the terror that it would strike in some kids during popcorn reading where like you would see it go and it'd be like and it goes to Taylor and I'd read my portion and he'd be like and it goes to Travis

and everyone like knew it was like this is gonna be a fucking ordeal and you would like you'd see and it'd be like oh my God like Travis got a long paragraph has the word oscillating in it he takes fucking forever

to read normal paragraphs and then you'd have to sit there and listen to this kid stutter through it it was like, holy shit, like, you know, throw in the towel. Like, give this kid a fucking break right now. You're destroying his confidence in front of his classmates. Like, you know that kid can't read well. He's in special reading in fifth grade or fourth grade, whatever it is.

Like, give him a break. Not chill. It wasn't so chill of my fourth grade teacher, which fourth grade, I think you're 10 in fourth grade. And that was when I like, I didn't hit puberty, but I had. had like that like arousing of like being interested in tits and stuff in my head and I remember I had this dog ugly teacher in like fourth grade but she she was like probably like 49 50 years old like I'm I'm 10 and but she had the most mammoth tits and she would wear these like little little sweaters and I like I didn't even have the requisite understanding.

of like why I was that interested in her tits or why I couldn't pay attention in class because all I was doing was staring at her tits. And I remember like in innocence telling my mom once being like, I just, I'm just looking at her boobs all the whole time. And she's like, Taylor, just try to not focus on that. And in my head, I'm like, yeah, right. As if that's even possible. Do you think this is a switch you can turn off? It's like, no. She's droning on about horseshit that I don't care about because the dumbest kid in the class still hasn't learned this and she's just like some she'd take big steps you get a little little movement in there it's like okay it's going to get me through the next 20 minutes in this fucking class do you remember what diagraming a sentence is

yes yeah yeah so many people couldn't figure that out it was it was I was okay it was two parts one I kind of enjoyed watching my teacher diagram sentences I just liked seeing how they fit together and two I knew it was really hard for her and it like the edge of her cognitive abilities so I would ask her to do it all the time like she eventually

just started saying no I was like I don't get it can you diagram that sentence and she'd do it and I love the show that is so fucking funny to see that this like 23 year old girl doesn't fully get it and so she's writing like sentences where

the subject and the object are beyond obvious. You know, the dog wrote a bike to the, like, whatever it is. And then you're just like, hey, I create this more complex sentence. Four score and seven years ago. Oh, I always did that. That is, that's so funny. Did you guys have to memorize the Lincoln speech, the four score and seven years ago? Half, half, four score and seven years ago.

Our father. I remember some poems. nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all yeah there was so much more than that there was a lot of it i used to know it all i just watched lincoln so it's it's embarrassing that i can't remember the rest of it because there's a scene in lincoln where he's uh he's meeting with the troops and they each in turn have memorized his speech even though he gave it like just a few months before because it was so inspiring to them um but yeah yeah we definitely we memorized that and the fucking presidents and a few other things that you just cram in for

I remember the Gettysburg address was ninth grade and the presidents was fifth grade, though. I remember fifth grade drilling those things in class. Did you guys do states? Mm-hmm. States and capitals. States and capitals was third grade for us, probably similar everywhere. Oh, I remember the flashcards. I remember sitting there with my mom.

See, that's the other thing. That's what I'm talking about with like help from a parent. Like, we had flash cards in the living room like fucking going through them, you know. Yeah. Obviously, Georgia on the front, Atlanta on the back and like just going through all the states. and you know two or three hours the night before the test and you know that shit like the back of your hand you're a kid you absorb it's not that hard anyway it's capital you don't have to know that much like you just like just remember like the in my head what the like irrelevant states were that like were so far from me I didn't care it was like Vermont what the fuck Montpelier what's happening in Vermont Montpelier what's happening in New Hampshire I don't know what's going on in New Hampshire what's going on in Connecticut what's going on I'm sure's capital start with a B.

Does anyone know it? I think it's which one is a, yeah, it's Concord. Yeah, I was just there a couple months ago, shit state,

garbage state. What was, yeah, Hartford, Connecticut. I bet you don't know Jersey. Isn't it weird? It's like Jersey City or like some nonsense.

It's not Camden, is it? Trenton. Oh, Trenton. I didn't remember that. I've been watching I knew that one

I'm so smart What's Missouri Indiana Indiana Polis No Jefferson City I've been It's not fair when they do that Yeah

Some horse shit nonsense You think it'd be like In St. Louis Is Mark No There's a Jersey city In Jersey It's not that

Newark You think it could be that I've been watching A ton of Jeopardy this week I get like three-fifths of final jeopardies, right? That's what I watch. I watch Final Jeopardies like videos that are nothing but those.

Love those, but I came across a question today that I wanted to see if Taylor, or any of you could get this country has, it's a Western Hemisphere country, it has two capitals and 37 official languages. Dun, do, do,

don't, down, down, down. Okay, so it can't be North America. It can't be Central America. I don't think it wouldn't be it wouldn't be 80 the Dominican I mean the most

like wild out there I would guess like Brazil Brazil is my guess as well because that's so multi-mast there's so many because there's so many jungle people there that have you know the capital of Brazil is Rio Rio de Janeiro

yeah what's the other capital exactly there's two capitals this country has two capitals in 37 official native languages seems like an oversight to have two capitals you got to consolidate

is this some horseshit like Guyana no it's Western Hemisphere Guyana is a Ghana is the African country Guyana is a South American country Oh I didn't know Guyana was a place French G-Y-A-N-A I think

Sounds like a SDD Clearly not the right Yeah. I've got a dance with E. I'm burning so bad. I don't think it's Argentina or Chile or Honduras or Venezuela or or. To be helpful,

you're right so far. It can't be in Brazil because it's too obvious. That feels like a question I should. Maybe some, maybe some like Turks and Kikos nonsense. I think it's going to be, yeah. Icaragua. I'm going to give, Trinidad and Tobago.

Prodivago. Official languages. It's got to be some country with like weird political hang. Is it Panama? Nope. I'm guessing some Caribbean country that's turned overhand, like leadership. It gets invaded all the time by every passing pirate. Two capitals is weird as shit.

Would you like to know the answer? Yes. Bolivia. Zach knew it. Zach got it. It came up as you said it. Like he maybe even beat you to it by a little. He said Lake Tidicaca

And then I had to remember what country Lake Tidicaca is in My Spanish teacher in high school went swimming in Lake Tidicaca They took this boat out There's this island out apparently in the middle of it It's like Monkey Island is a super uncreative name But it's infested with believe it or not monkeys And so they're like Hey we want to go check this island out

This guy takes him out to a boat and he goes This is as close as I can get There's all these fucking laws about animals Blah blah blah you have to swim So he's like, dude, we were like a thousand yards away from this fucking island. They jump out. They swim over to the island. They show up on the shore.

All of the monkeys are hanging out and they come to greet them. Well, the only people who come to this island are tourists coming to greet the monkeys with baskets full of fresh fruit. So the monkeys show up and they're like, yo, what's up? Yeah. They've got nothing. So they get circled by these monkeys. they take off his friend and his friend's wife managed to make it out to the back into the lake he gets bit in the calf by this fucking monkey which famously disgusting disease-infested animals

so he's like fuck I'm in a third world country I don't know what this monkey has in its mouth that I just get bit with I have to swim a thousand yards out to this boat that's waiting for me in Lake Tidicaca which is the only lake in the world with sharks so he's swimming with a potentially infected monkey bite through shark infested waters in a third world country

not ideal that's a terrible adventure though anybody see this video it's the most recent like link link a bear broke into this man's house and it's like he was ready

he'd been waiting on the bear I'm not sure I didn't really like the bear killer 3,000 how does it know the gun but it looks like an AR 15 m4 type thing yeah yeah

this guy is so prepared he has a light on it yeah when he rounds the corner that bear comes at it I was like bah blah blah blah that's great and you know what he's doing there

after he shoots it he's like assessing the kitchen damage where he's like I guess I guess I could tear that bit of grout and tile up how many tiles did I break

how many tiles we have in the garage honey oh damn poor bear poor bear shouldn't have gone in I kind of felt bad for the bear but you know the bear's in his house yeah of course you got to kill a bear that's in your house but even so gotta kill the bear

I like bears or I like black bears I don't try to shoe him out of yeah you can shoe a black bear a bit for one thing I don't want a dead bear in my fucking den. You know what I mean? Like if any, if it's possible, I'm dead and his dead. I could shoot him on the yard. Have you guys ever had a black bear encounter? Have you ever shoot a black bear?

Never seen one in a while. I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot when I a couple times I've been to the Smoky Mountains. Those are, they're like rats over there. They're fucking everywhere in the smokies all over the place. Like you, every single trash can is like locked with a padlock. It's crazy. I've never seen them up there. Like I Smokey Mountain was our go-to vacation.

spot we'd hit up Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and Dollywood and all that shit and rent a cabin and chill out up there for a weekend or two and I've never seen one in the wild as far as I can remember. Were you looking? Like peeking around? Because they're all over the place. You know, I didn't go on a bear hunt or anything

but I just didn't see any around or anything like that. Both times I've gone there I've seen them on hikes. My phone had a house here Asheville and yeah, every time we'd go hiking. We'd see him all the fucking time. But you just like clap loudly and they run away. Yeah. Dude, I went on a hiking trip in Yosemite. I've told this before, but that bears like was the first day of the trip, we hadn't like hiked anywhere yet. We were staying at a campground and a

bear came to the campground and stole like somebody else's picnic basket, nothing to do with us. And but we saw it go down and me and my friends and the campers and like everyone were just like clap in. This one woman had a pot. She was like banging the pot. And she was like banging the pot. and we're like bad bear bad bear but the bear's posture like when he rent i think we heard its feelings it was like you guys are going way overboard it was just some potato chips have you seen the one of a guy who's like on a deck like a patio and there's like a grill and stuff out there and there's a camera recording him and like a bear climbed over the the gate to get on the patio and the guy just like walks over and he like opens over and he like opens

the gate again and he's like out out with you get out of here and the bear's like will I suppose the bear hits him though it doesn't give him a little hit but it doesn't seem to even draw blood it was just a an annoyance like fuck you

yeah I could have had treats yeah black bear is definitely like most black bear encounters seem to be exactly what you guys are describing I think it's the brown bears that that we they're going to maw you to death and eat you a lot Not maw you to death. Eat you alive, because that's what they do.

What's the rhyme? If it's black, fight back. If it's brown laid down. If it's white, good night. That's fair. Yeah. Polar bears are not omnivorous like the rest of the bears, as far as I know. They're like hyper-carnavores.

They're going to eat you. Yeah, they don't care what kind of song and dance you're doing. They're going to grab you. Yeah. I'm sure you've seen that video where the guy is in that plexiglass like container and the polar bear is doing his best to, open it like a can of tuna and eat him. Like it's,

it's clear the bear only wants to eat the man inside and it's just trying to figure out how to make it happen. Those things are terrifying. They're insanely fucking huge. I was at some naturally history museum. I can't remember. And there was a taxidermized polar bear. And it's like, it looks like they made it up.

Like you walk around the corner and see the thing and you're like, you got to be fucking kidding. There's no way. The thing's bigger than a fucking car. Yeah. I've seen those same, like, kind of mock-ups where, like, you've, we've all seen Grizzlies, and, like, those things are fucking huge in their own right. And it's like, yeah, like, kind of the same difference between a black bear and a grizzly,

about that same difference between a grizzly and a polar bear. And it's like, this thing is a monster, like, an absolute monster. If they ever, we've got to keep them north, boys. We can't let them come down. They're like four feet, three feet taller or something. I feel like a polar bear is like 11 feet tall when it stands up and a grizzly is like 8 feet tall

and then a black bear will be like 5 feet tall like not the polar bear's the biggest bear yeah the polar bear is the biggest bear they're great 9 8776 oh oh okay I guess black bears are a little bigger than that I don't know what that intermediary bear is between the black bear and the grizzly bear

that's a sun bear no sun bears sun bears are black with the sun on their chest Yeah, you're right. I remember when the Chinese had those sun bears that, and when they stand up on their high legs, it looks like a man wearing pants or like wearing a bear suit. There's like slack in its ass, like, like a milking pair suit. They're a slack in its ass.

I know what you're talking about, yeah. Like, is it wearing pants because of, because of climate change, which, of course, we don't believe in here. The polar bears are losing their environment, and so they're slowly being pushed further further south and they're interbreeding with the grizzly bears and they call them what grower bears I think or something like that a grower bear yeah it's a hybridized like a liger bear yeah like a liger but naturally

occur like not is I don't think lagers are fertile like I think once you create that it's like um it did the same thing with like with like mules yeah zonky mules yeah but I think when a polar bear and a grower grizzly make a grower it is fertile I think that's the deal. It's something about, I watched the whole thing about this.

But anyway, the Grover Bears, the future, this hybridized, female ligars are, can be fertile. Okay. And they can reproduce with lions or tigers. Grole is a shit name. I feel like we could brainstorm for five seconds and come up with a better name for that bear. Pizzley. Some people call them Pizzlies.

That's too cute. Oh, it's a Pizzley. Oh, it's a Pizley bear. 12 feet tall, 1,800 pounds of murder. Yeah, those things are scary, but I always go back to those depictions of the short-faced bear, those short-faced cave bear, that like mammoths over the polar bear. And those coexisted with humans around the Bering Strait area.

So when the group of, the migration from Russia and Eurasia that came over originally when that Bering Strait was all frozen up, They had to contend with the short-faced bear going across the Bering Land Bridge and trying to make themselves toward Canada and the Pacific Northwest. See, if you can find a depiction of how big that thing is, Zach. It's like a monster from a Star Wars movie or something. What's it called again? Did you say?

Short-faced cave bear. Yeah. And I think we haunted them to extinction. Nice. Yeah. That's impressive. Humans. Every once in a while.

We're melting the ice caps, getting those polar bears taken care of. get rid of all bears. Panda's next. Yeah, a lot of the megafauna, it's presumed that we hunted to extinction. There was this species of armadillo whose shells were large enough that humans made them into dwellings. It was like TP-sized

like armadillo shells, and we just killed them all for their shells to live in, and there were no more. I'm changing my answer. The cave bear is the largest animal I could fight. There you go. That's what I wanted to show. Look at that. Can you imagine like 12 of us with Spears having to contend with

that and it's mad you know what it's not going to help is i'm going to be i'm i'm not going to get him all until someone else goes in i'm not going in first i'm going to be the addle-addle guy i'm fucking slinging fucking throwing rocks i'm going to be like that one like nose-ringed guy in 300 where he's like the men in front yield forward and and i would let everybody else run forward and then I would pretend to help because there's no way 12 people could take this unless they're like ancient ice men who are so much tougher than us it's borderline unfathomable every generation before us was tougher right like every time you go back 50 years the men are we're gay as hell dude we're the weakest most effeminate like men and in human history

for sure like like this this generation and it just keeps going that way because the world gets softer and easier every generation you go back no france had a couple generations. You go back to those boys that were, you go back to those guys in Band of Brothers. Those were some hard motherfucking men, right? But you go back a hundred years before them, they were harder. You go back to short-faced cave bear times. Those were some bad motherfuckers. They were like, look, cave bear scat. Let's go. Like, they were pumped when they saw cave bear shit. Like, those guys wanted, they knew if they got a cave bear skull, they'd get pussy for life. Yeah. Dude, I like your theory. That it gets tougher the further you go. The

people get tougher the further you go back like imagine some like guy from 1860s France encountering like a Roman legionary he'd be like what a brute and it'd be like had to cut me fucking toe off nasty stub and then like everybody now we are lame and gay compared to them man makes you wonder what the future's like oh you said ate your toe off and it reminded me I saw this news story this diabetic man was asleep and obviously when you you're diabetic, I think it, I think the circulation to your extremities is bad and they often lose limbs, feet. I think you like can't feel your feet for a long time and then they fucking ax you. Well, guys asleep and he can't feel his foot and his poodle chewed off his big toe

while he was asleep and didn't do a very clean job of it. It took a lot of the side of the foot too and they showed the wound and it was gruesome and they showed it stitched up and then the last picture was the poodle and he's just like you just know on the way back from the fucking hospital that guy got a slushy I deserve this I'd be a wake-up call for me

all right that's good question you've been living with two numb feet for three years and you're like yeah we'll be with this someday but today's pizza and popcorn and ice cream night takes the dog chewing some toes off yeah dude i i i i would cut sugar right the fuck out i don't like sugar that much i don't even is it all carbs or just sugar i i think it's processed sugar that you eat a tremendous amount of your body can't handle i don't

think they have these ones with carbohydrates in general like rice and stuff you have to be careful with when you're diabetic okay well white rice is like the most simple carb ever like that's Depends, like, what type diabetes? Because I know my grandmother was developing. They were like, you're pre-diabetic. And she's like, well, I'm only drinking eight Coca-Cola's a day. And he's like, yeah, that's probably the problem. And she immediately, because she did, she always kept like real Coca-Cola in the fridge and we drank those things like crazy. And so like, she immediately cut that out, never drank a Coca-Cola again. And like, her diabetes reversed. It went away. It was fine then. Cancer got her like eight years later, but that had nothing to do with

the soda. That's the way she goes. That was the aspirin. That was the aspirin from the Diet Coke. That can't be proven, and I choose not to believe it. That's what the insurance company said. Sprite zeros are good for you. It's clear. It's basically. It's clear. It's water.

It has 2% of your daily potassium in every single can. Can you believe it? That's why I have 50s a day. Phelalanines. If this is bad for me, then this will be what kills me. because I drink these nonstop. I love them. I love zero sugar soda.

I'm not going to ever stop. I read today that every... The lemonade from money. When they check human brains for microplastics, what do you think the... Think of how much microplastic do you think they're finding in human brains? Like if you had to hold it in your hand. A credit card amount.

Table spoon. That's a good guess. A tablespoon. I'm guessing it's so much less than any of these things. Like a couple of grams at the most. a plastic spoons worth like the whole not what a plastic spoon holds

if you took an entire plastic spoon in our brains there's no way for us to flush it out it's totally artificial but like that is a plastic spoon even more plastic than a credit card probably right maybe even more

like volumetrically like volume like if you were to yeah I don't think you couldn't make a good plastic spoon out of a credit card unless it was incredibly thin so it's probably thin so it's probably even more hold up the back of your credit card to the camera and we'll examine size wise well i i lost that chipotle earlier you did tell someone else left to storm that beach like the microplastic thing

the more i read about it the more i like hear about it's like man there's no way to avoid this i would have to upend my life entirely to avoid microplexics i would need a new toothbrush i would i could never drink a soda out of a can again everything would have to be glass bottles and not Not regular glass bottles, like boutique glass bottles. The caps would have to be different. Everything, like all of your meats, vegetables are packaged in plastic and it leeches into them. All the containers are. You would have to go to an artisanal fucking butcher.

You'd have to kill your own animals and grow your own vegetables or something. What do you mean regular glass bottle? Because I didn't know there was a... Some glass bottles have a plastic coating on the inside and some don't. Oh, man. Just like these cans do. I know the cans have that. seen the guy dip the Coke can in the dissolving agent and then pull it out and there's

that like plastic bag which is disconcerting and some sodas don't have the plastic liner usually it's like smaller run more boutique sodas but those aren't the kind I'm drinking anyway like I'm I'm drinking like mainstream caffeine free diet Pepsi Sprite zero and really mostly those two some Diet Coke a little bit I did some fact checking and it literally says you have a plastic spoon's worth of plastic in your brain and then it explained why a little bit and I guess they think that the plastics are coming from some of the fats we eat and your brain loves to consume fats as energy and they get delivered there and don't get exported that and so your brain is it's not as if your liver and your muscles and stuff have many there are a particularly

high concentration of plastics in your brain and testicles testicles too yeah they think it's it causes infertility. They think it has some play in the global population decline. Is infertility caused by microplastics that are building up in people's testicles, men's, well, people's, men's testicles.

Women have testicles, too. Shut up. I mean, it's probably, this is why you lost. Yeah. What about that fucking Romanian doctor? This is why the fucking soldiers are in the capital, you asshole. Shut off about the testicles and the periods.

True. We got president retard because nobody wanted president woman. That's what? Fair. Woman I can deal with. It's the other part. That she's Indian. Oh, is she?

I thought she was white. I thought she was Indian. I thought she's half black and half Indian, right? That's what she really is. Is that what she is? She was a very attractive young woman in her younger days. I think she date, what celebrity did she used to bang? It was like a rapper or something

Yeah, I saw like a Elvis clip of Well, she's not that old Give her a break Yeah I saw some clip of her like on the arm Of some rapper It's possible

In 2002 Yeah, she was a hottie like it was Yeah, for reals She was a cute guy, you're right I was a said in the WhatsApp today That uh, 2028 Get Ready for JD Vance to defeat Gavin Newsom

And Chiz acted like I had said that aliens were landing next week it was so far from any possibility but that's that's like where that's the most likely outcome right oh you think i don't know i don't like vance i'm not basing this on any like real deep study but i just see that in my lifetime i've observed the pendulum swing back and forth so many times i've seen the republicans in as bad a position as now where they're like will they ever be i'm sorry in as bad a position as the democrats are today like are they ever going to be relevant again. They don't have the House. They don't have the Senate. They don't have the

Supreme Court. They have nothing. You know, they're just not a popular party in America. Like, I've seen the Republicans in this place and look at them today. They dominate every well, they're winning everything, dominating strong. They're like a three house majority. But, um, I just assume the pendulum

would start swinging the other way because it always does, not because of any real analysis. Nah, none of this. Did I call or did I call it? It's clearly the betting favorite. And also, here's why I think that my outcome is going to be the case. First of all, Gavin Newsom's killing it on social media right now. Where do you think it's cringe?

Where do you think it's lame? I think his cursing needs to be curtailed. Whoever's telling him that he should curse. I referenced to you, I was like, it sounds like when Woody curses when he calls someone a shit fuck. Like, it just doesn't feel natural. And like Woody's like coming out that way because he's mad in the moment. And so it is authentic. So it is authentic.

Gavin Newsom is like Gavin Newsom's reading. Aren't you supposed to be renovating the bathroom? I got to get back to work, guys. Dinner's not ready. I'll have to hit you harder. And so I think Gavin's the clear frontrunner from the left. How's it going? Hey there.

And I think that J.D. Vance will, I think J.D. Vance is going to get the golden ticket. I don't think they're going to have a Republican convention or debates and, and, and, I don't think any of that's going to happen. I think Trump will anoint J.D. I think everybody will fall in line behind J.D., and he'll get the big push. Do you like J.D. Vance? Like, as much, like, I don't trust him. I barely trust him more than fucking Newsom.

I find him to be overly arrogant and a bit of a douchebag at times. I didn't like how he spoke to Zelensky on both trips. I didn't like that. Before that, I was kind of like, whatever, standard Republican guy who's like backed by billionaires. Not the end of the world. He's not the devil. So I think he's going to be the guy.

And the reason I think he's going to win is because I think the Republicans are going to cheat. Because I think what's happening right now is that they're just redistrict. They're just gerrymandered Texas, right? So they get five more votes. Did they get that done? Yeah. Yes, they did. Oh, it has to be signed in by the governor.

oh no will abbott sign in i'm back he's gonna stand up and see that because he's crippled and and i also hear stuff trump is railing against mail-in voting and he was like i talked to putt and putt was like you know there's no country in the world no decent country that does mail-in voting and i saw someone fact check they're like here a list of the countries who did mail-in voting number one russia And like, went down the line of like the vast majority of Western democracies that you would want your elections to be. It's the voting machines that seem like, I mean, obviously mail in voting, you can't have like the whoreshit of like not verifying who's sending it in. You need to verify that, which they sometimes don't do a great job of. But it's like the voting machine thing that's bananas where it's like, why do we have machines for this?

Like these should all be paper. It should be tangible. Any company that has voting machines also. Has investors and private interest. Well, yeah, that's what we get with that probably. But it's just wrong to do that. Voting machines are the strength of America, Taylor. They ensure that the good guys win.

It seems like a very easy way to manipulate votes. So I think Trump's going to, look, Trump's in power. He's clearly flexing his ice, not just to do what they're supposed to do, but also to intimidate political opponents. I saw Newsom had that big press conference. Ice raids show up outside the building to like harass like people outside. It's like, why aren't you serving warrants? Why aren't you in a, like a, well, Kyle, he doesn't want to post the deportation stance

anymore because it's so successful. He doesn't want to brag about it. It's not because it's a fucking pittance. That does sound like Trump. He wouldn't want to brag. He wouldn't want to brag about a wildly successful endeavor. He's where he exempts huge portion. of migrants and illegals from deportation.

They haven't been exempted. He flip-flopped back on that. And then he sort of paid lip service to the farmers but did nothing for them. If you look here, look, I think he's doing his best on this immigration thing, and it's harder than he thought it was going to be. And maybe it's harder than we think it's going to be, because I don't know anything about fucking getting millions of people. But here, like this headline is all 55 million active immigrant visas under review the Trump

administration says. 55, we have 55 fucking million active immigrant visas and we're wondering why Americans can't get good paying jobs. Fuck the people who rule this country. Fuck them in their fucking asses. This is insane. 55 million. 55 million. That's a higher number than I expected.

Yeah, we're being replaced in our workforces by migrants. There are nearly that many gas stations in the country. This is fucking insane. saying this should this should make people upset anyone who like cares about america should be like oh you imported 55 million people on visas and a lot of them are taking jobs from americans our rulers in a way that we can't even understand they have contempt for us i wanted to get that student visas sorry oh oh oh i don't know i probably a significant portion of because i'm i guarantee they're included in that number i just wanted to get that prediction that prognostication in

here six months into the seven, eight months into the eight months into the Trump administration with the three to half years ahead on this one. I think that's going to be the outcome. Let me hit that presidential race. So I'm not saying you're wrong, but I will say if the Republicans

do that, I think it'll be a mistake. And I'm talking about anointing J.D. Vance is the heir parent. When Republicans did poorly, Bob Dole was the representative, like the guy who ran for president. And he wasn't much of a primary. He was just next it was his turn and then john mccain not much of a primary i remember who even ran against

he was just kind of like the top guy who's the swift boat guy the fucking long face carry but i'm talking about the republicans he ran against in the primary oh yeah mcane was just sort of anointed the president car dog in the roof of the car who's that guy the mormon mitt romney mitt romney so boring so and now i'm still going the democrats as they lose i feel like all of our candidates have kind of been anointed we somehow did Sanders a little bit dirty and didn't give him a chance. And then this last one where Biden did win, like everyone else dropped out of the race and endorsed Biden's to tank everyone,

I guess Sanders' chances. It just seems like we're anointing the primary victor instead of letting the people choose. And that hasn't worked out well for any party who's done it. If they do it for J.D. Vance, I don't think it's the winning strategy. They should have a healthy competition and let the best man win. I agree. JD Vance has a fuck ton to prove before he's worthy of that because it feels like he was kind of on the and I know you won't like this Woody but to me Jady Vance feels a lot like Buttigieg people who are not a big deal at all people who are not a big deal at all both gay and and they get like promoted via billionaires in the media to this high rung artificially and it doesn't feel like they had like who was talking who on the on the right three years ago was like vance vance vance vance the same number of people that

three years before buddhajadjad, two years or one year before he was kind of foisted upon us no one was calling for the largely not that super popular mayor of south bend to suddenly be in a cabinet and so it's like it just gives me that same taste in my mouth of like this guy vance is backed by peter teal these powerful interests. He's in favor of the H-1B shit, which serves the tech people like Teal and Musk and whatnot. It doesn't seem like his popularity is that organic. And for that reason, I just get that same Buttigieg feel from him where it's like, yeah, no one really rallied and asked for these guys. They're just kind of now here. I hope AOC runs. She's 35 now. Her birthday's in October. You'll hate her in three and a half years, dude. You'll just be

remember in the good old days. That ass will be so fat in three years, dude. Just trust me. Latina's ripen, okay? And she's not there yet. She's not ready to be picked. That's a great take. We're going to leave her on the vine, all right? I flipped off all the other Hondurans and Puerto Ricans and Dominicans off and let all the juice go straight to that big old Latina booty. Dude, if you're just going for the cutie pies, I feel like Lauren Bobert is up there too. As far as the politicians jacking a guy off at fucking Hamilton or whatever the fuck that was like no no that wasn't

she definitely has her charms that was she maybe it was it was an OTPHet and it was only a partial one you know and that's you know you need to do more than that to get my vote you're going to walk around Hamilton with cummy pants

she needs to unzip that thing now that's bitch it's getting told now I like AOC, but I don't agree with her a lot of her politics. For the same reason, I like Massey, although I don't agree with nearly any of his politics. And it's that like, I feel like both of them have arrived at their position from like a principled stance of what's right and wrong. Opposite ends of the chain of the spectrum there.

But, you know, Massey, that's the guy's name, right? The Republican who votes against every freaking spending bill because he thinks that's right. And I'm like, you know, you don't have to agree with me to get my respect. You just have to come from a principled place of what's right and wrong. And AOC and Massey both have that, even though I think they get a lot wrong. I think AOC polls terribly nationally. I think she's very unpopular, a lot of negatives. She's super liberal, obviously.

And then she's got a lot of other things bad going against her. But she's very pretty. I'd like to see her be part of the process, I guess is more what I'm saying. You know who I want in there? Because I think, let me just one more. I think the AOC will fill the shoes of like a Bernie and pull Newsom or pull any more right-wing Dems further to the left, which is in the interest of the Republican Party. Hmm.

Like she'll take stances that, you know, the left wants and Newsom will be stuck there. Like, well, don't you want all the immigrants to come in for free and give them health care? I'm like, well, maybe not all of them. You're like, figure it. And you drag him over to the left, you know. that could happen I could see that I want to see John Stewart run I know like but he's been working with Washington for decades now he's been observing Washington forever I feel like he's as much an insider as Trump used to you know his first term prior to his first term like did Trump know politics yeah he was on the outside he knew the Clintons they were at the wedding like like he was he wasn't a probably never worked in the White House or in politics at all but he wasn't a complete stranger to it That's where Stewart is, and I think that he would be a principled president. Yeah, I really need to see, like, a mission statement.

I need to see where he is on all of the major policies. Like, I bet economically and fiscally and maybe even foreign policy-wise, probably on the same page with someone like John Stewart. But I don't know where he is socially and as far as immigration, and those are two things, and gun control, and those end drugs, and those things from the right and left are where I'm, like most I don't know inflexible it's like wait you believe that well I could I wouldn't want you then like if that's your take on that thing then no thanks

like no no maybe no they can't compete in women's sports no no dude the Democrats are on the wrong side of that issue and it cost them dearly and I hope they can learn from this mistake. It's like, I don't want to throw trans people under the bus, but good guy, could you give up sports? They do it themselves. I mean, like, you can say, hey, just be nice to them, but don't let them necessarily win the freaking state championship wrestling, you know, when you put a boy in there against all the girls. Like just, and it's not even just that. It's like, I don't want my daughter to be in a locker room with a dick. It's as simple as that

I don't care what you believe Or what you identify as I don't want my my like 12 year old daughter to see your dick I don't want your dick in there near her Without someone without an adult present Like I remember what locker rooms were like for like When I was you know I just talking about wearing eight pairs of underwear

It gets spanked by a dude in middle school I have friends all over the fucking political spectrum One of them you just saw is literally running for Congress I have friends who are communist. It's like they're completely all over the political spectrum. I have not met someone who genuinely and honestly like has some weird progressive take on like that whole issue. Even like my gay friends or like when it comes to shit like that, it's like, no, just we'll keep running with everything the way we've done it for forever. And like let's no, we're not fucking playing pretend like now we everybody has to.

to pretend this is a fucking woman who's allowed around, you know, little girls or whatever. I swam in college. Nobody hates that fucking person from Penn State more than me. He was on the guys team, a Division I swimmer on the men's Penn State swim team

the year before. And then over the summer he comes back and competes against the women and beats them all. Of course he did. He was a strong male collegiate swimmer. It just feels like such a silly topic too for like the Democratic Party to even pay any

modicum of attention to instead of focusing on like economics like the economy's fucked everybody knows that everybody agrees where it's like and Trump slapped him in the face with it every time he got in front of a microphone

they won't they want many women's sports you know that right you know that right you're crazy they're great and it's like they can't abandon it they can't leave it one of the largest voting constituencies of the Democratic Party are single women and that includes older single women and these issues for them are seen as like tent pole like important things and so like a lot of like people

like Woody who are like sane and like know what they want now and then but like you're like hey can we cut this fucking nonsense loose they still have to serve that constituency and those people are not engaged with the Democratic Party because of some neoliberal economic value. They're engaged with it because of the culture war stuff. And so it's really difficult to extricate that. It's an absurd thing to be talking about when it's 2% of the population, if that,

and what percent of that population is trying to get on these sports teams anyway? It's a minor issue that becomes a major issue because they're so inflexible about it. And it's one of those things that looks so weird, and you're able to say, look how crazy they are on this. That's plain, like easy to see a layman can get that this is wrong, and yet they are clearly on the wrong side of it. So then when you flex over to something that's more nuanced and complicated

and harder for the layman to wrap his head around, like fucking immigration, geopolitics, tax law, whatever, health care, they're like, well, I don't know. They're crazy on that other thing. I don't really understand how health care works, but I don't want crazies deciding how my health care works. It's a no-win issue. That and the gun control thing, they always go too whole hog on that.

And of course, anyone for the right will always say they want, I remember Trump literally saying, they're taking your guns away, they want to take your guns, but I'm not going to let them. He's layer in front with the NRA, and I can't remember the guy that runs NRA. He's over there like slapping Trump on the back, and it's like, if you own guns, if you care about Second Amendment, then you're like, how can I possibly vote for that person? the most ambivalent to guns Republican in the past 50 years because like at the end of the day his beliefs are kind of those of like

a convenience an anti-free trade Democrat from 1998. I used to have a bumpstock. I just want to get that out there. Like Trump is not the gun savior. I had a bumpstock until that fucker became president. I had 30. Unrelated. Not that I'm a single issue of

voter but like yeah there is one one issue that I care about way more than everything else obviously the fucking economy and but I was so convinced I said this a million times this last election where it was like

dude if the Democratic Party ran just a milt toast middle of the line moderate like fucking Obama just like some clean boring nerd like good looking boring nerd he would have swept the fucking election it would clean house because there are so many people I've met

and not like the fucking what's the meme that got me again I bet this is all coming from a guy who doesn't fucking vote it's the UFaulty again award Not allowed! Mine's voluntary Yeah but it's okay

I voted twice Kyle Me and my grandma who's been deceased for 15 years but I was like yeah dude If they ran like this milk toast moderate fucking good looking guy who didn't have a hard line stance on anything, they would have won that election so much.

Because I know so many people who voted for Trump who are, you know, like, independent, whatever the fuck you want to call them, who literally only voted for Trump because it was a vote against Kamala Harris. And nobody was fucking thrilled about either. Yeah, that's why I voted against, I voted against Kamala. Trump had the easiest path to the presidencies ever. Like first he goes against Hillary Clinton. Wow.

Anyone can beat Hillary Clinton. She's the most disliked woman in America for 30 years in a row now. And then he goes against the corpse of Biden, who just stays in his basement taking Zoom calls, not really campaigning. And Biden beats him. Well, not the corpse of Biden to interject, Biden is the most popular politician in American history. We need to make sure that's clear. By votes and huge margins, the most popular politician in American history, which is true. So then Biden barely even runs.

days in the basement, takes these Zoom calls, barely has things because it's COVID, and he beats Trump, who was sinking himself daily by just telling like COVID lies and suggesting that we have fewer tests and stuff like that. And then he runs against the corpse of Biden again, beats that guy, gets against Kamala with a hundred days notice and she loses. No one likes her. He just had, like, if he was up against Kerry, I think he would have lost. It just depends on the environment. Like, the economy since 2019. since COVID has been dog shit. There has never been a period of goodness in that time. Like there's been news narratives and nonsense from Biden pretending the numbers were good to now Trump pretending the numbers are good.

It's not been good for anyone. And so really when it came to the Kamala Trump election, it feels like she really sealed her fate when they asked her like, what would you do differently than Biden? and she was like nothing at all and they were like okay well that that's not working that was the video by the way that wasn't some hardball question that was meant to like they were teeing her up they were teeing her up they were trying to like serve her a softball they're like hey what do you think what's your favorite kind of salsa and also what are you going to do differently it's so easy it's so easy you say well it's

really about perspective you know I'm coming from a place being a woman being a colored person, being this, being that, you know, my roots, and you pivot a little, you don't have to shit on your boss, all right? You don't have, and you don't say nothing. You talk about how your perspective is different from your boss's perspective, how you're a, how you're two generations younger, how you're black, how you're Indian, how you're, how you come from this multiracial family, how you, how you're a woman, how you have all, you're going to be able to look out for a whole other segment of the population that really

hasn't had anyone having their backs generationally speaking ever in Washington, D.C. And moreover, for every American. And then they fucking start clapping, enjoy Bayhart, start sucking your clit, and Whoopi Goldberg's fucking hair comes out like the

predator. And it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Everybody loves it. But instead, she's like, oh, nothing. It was perfect serving under that that fucking guy with dementia. who've stumbled over.

Everybody lied and pretended didn't have dementia until two minutes ago. But now trust us on this new person. And it's like the problem was also like Kamala has no rhetorical panache. Like you need someone with like the ability like you need someone with rhetoric. You need someone who's quick, someone who's good at deflecting and, you know, redirecting towards a comfortable topic. And she failed tremendously at that all the time. And that's like, you know who's good at that is Gavin Newsom. Great at it.

He's very good at that. You wouldn't want to, if you get into it. You know who else is good at that? He's going to serve your ass. J.D. Vance. Is he? J.D. Vance is very good at being asked a direct question about H-1B visas or something. And then he's like just off to the races doing some other things.

But is it a good answer or just evading? It's no worse an answer than what Newsom would do in that position. But to anyone on the other side, you're going to immediately identify like, this is nonsense, this is nonsense, like this is horseshit. But the point is that he can do it. Like Newsome fans, like these guys are politicians. They can, you know, they can lie. Kamala just failed entirely on the rhetoric issue. And being a rhetoric is a huge part of being a politician.

Someone needs someone who's a debater, not just a debater, someone who teaches debate. A master debater. A master domain. I need to talk to her and explain how to like spin and how to shift and how to dodge through these questions. He had cruised. He's good at that. Look, if you're a professional baseball player, you know how to field that ground ball versus that line drive versus that pop fly. If you're a politician, you should have, you should know every possible question that could be asked of you.

I know there's some weird curve balls you could ask them. You could make some, you could be incredibly offensive to try to throw them off their game somehow. Now, ma'am, what if you have your period and the president of Russia, like, you can get weird with it and try to throw her off her game. But Kyle, I'm 65. Are you telling us you're all dried up, ma'am? Is that the case? Oh, I've been that way for quite some time. My pussy gets wet. It gets wet. That's our, come on.

And then Trump goes, I bet. That's me. I have that effect on ladies. A lot of people saying my dick doesn't get hard. That's not true. it still gets hard right now I fuck Trump does seem like a guy who fucks mostly to be known for fucking and not for like the enjoyment of fucking like he seems like he's really tied up

and being seen as a cool guy oh he's a trophy banger he's not in it for the fucking love of the game dude he's not a miracle on ice kind of guy here's the thing he would do so what Trump would do is he would set an appointment with some business person he knows, some acquaintance

that he wants to fuck their wife. So he'd invite their wife to Trump Tower. And while they were in his office meeting with him, he would call their husband and induce them into a conversation of bragging about how they had cheated on their wives while their wives listened. He'd be like, oh, I saw you with that blonde the other night.

What's up with that? Oh, man, I've been fucking her for months now. Those tits, can you believe it? You know, you haven't even seen my brunette, though. You know, he'd induce him into that conversation while their wives listen. And then he would like try to spin that into some sort of like revenge fuck with the wife. And it must have worked because I've read. You think he ever called the, he's like talking to Stephen Hawking?

He's like, Donald, I know he had all that fun on the island. But I'd rather stay distant. So true, so true. I know you do the math. All sorts of things about black holes. Black hole is something I'm really not interested in. Seems gay. Seems like you're gay.

That's why I fucked your wife. Hawking was actually, actually was cheating on his wife. But that actually doesn't seem fair because he was totally immobile, which means that lady lifted his dead body onto a table and then sucked his dick. He could have been,

like, please, no. It's not. Like, poor child rapist Stephen, alleged child rapist, Stephen Hawking got, got raped himself. He was just hanging out in the temple. There's no way he was doing that. Have you seen that picture of him?

He's like sitting on the beach chair. It was like somebody, I think somebody tweeted it. He was like, he was, smiling. There's a girl on either side of him. And it was like, no offense. But if you got assaulted by this guy, that's on you. Yeah. You know, he had a.

really good sense of humor. He would do this thing where I think somebody tripped over like a cable near him one time and he immediately went, eh, like he acted like he unplugged him and killed him or something. All right, all right, he's cool and I thought he was. That's funny.

I mean, he had his flaws. He had his flaws. I don't know that he had any flaws. All I know is some billionaire and value. Oh, you don't know if that guy had any flaws? Number one, can't walk. Can't walk. He just talks. about gay nerd shit all day long. Nobody gives a fuck about. Yeah.

You're talking about black holes? Yeah, okay. Space is real. You can't prove to me space is real. I think it's real. Do you ever ban, Stephen? Yeah, they wouldn't send Stephen Hawking up there. He'd be all, they'd have to make him a special suit. I mean, it'd kind of be ideal of zero gravity. Well, he's like it up there.

Finally, the pain is gone. No, if he were paraplegic, that would be the ultimate place. If you're like a total spas, total sped, like you can't move at all, it would just be like you're out of control and you're bumping into, into knobs and buttons and things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't,

they wouldn't even let him float around up there, I bet because they know he can't control himself well enough to like not hit the fucking blow everything up button. Lou Gehrig's disease. Oh, for some reason I thought he had cerebral palsy. Yeah, Lou Gehrig's disease. It's, um, I watched a like a biopic of him one time and it seemed like it kicked.

kicked in in like his early, early mid-20s and like slowly progressed until he was all paralyzed like that. It destroys neuron function or something like that. So you can't move. Let's see, what does it say? Progressive neurodegenerative disease that destroys major motor neurons and leads to gradual paralysis. Diagnosed to 21.

How could he do that job? I think he was a professor at Cambridge. Slowly. Long time. He was on crutches for a long time. Like, it took a while for him to put him in the chair and make him all crippled up like that, I think. Did you know that Lou Gehrig died at 37? Isn't it a crazy coincidence that he died of Lou Gehrig's disease?

What are the gods of things? Imagine the luck to die. That is like, that is crazy early to die of that, right? No, I think it's more or less. Yeah, Lou Gehrerr, like, there's, I don't think there's any trade. They know how to treat it. He was the fucking first. What do you mean, Kyle?

I assume they named the disease hundreds of years ago and then Destiny called. She shouldn't have named her child, Lou Gehrig. It'd be like a little guy named died of getting hit by a school bus. This is my son, leukemia. That is a funny name. That sucks. Poor Lou Gehrig.

Shout out. Friend of the show. Anthony Coomia could name his kid, Lou. It'd be close enough. Anthony Coomia disease is when you tweet every black crime that's occurring in real time. So racist. It's like, geez, bud, we're all thinking it.

You don't have to post it on Twitter. Man, they fucked him up, you know? Like, he sees, you know, that black lady messed with him. And then instead of killing her, he went on Twitter and had a rant because he thought that would be less damaging to his career. But it turns out he'd have been better off shooting that lady. it only be one story told only one story told

assuming his aim is worth a darn I've made it as something he had a high cap magazine he'd have finished her off he'd have done her like that bear shocked to learn his career and terrestrial radio didn't pan out after

he's back on terrestrial radio are you fucking curious yep Kumi is back on radio is what I hear I haven't heard any of it but what I hear is Howard Stern

just got a new contract I was hearing day after day that everything was over and his career was ending and it's fine he's in his 70s, it's okay to retire but then I heard he got in a Wopper contract. Am I right?

Yes, 500 million five years. He must sell a lot of subscriptions for them. I know that I only kept the service for as long as I did for him. He at the end I would occasionally flick on some music but really if I wanted

to listen to music I wanted to listen to my like alt rock station here in Atlanta or a country station here in Atlanta I didn't want their like greatest hits bullshit on XM but I listened to dozens of hours of Stern every road trip I would force my passengers

of like you're gonna love this guy or hate him but you're listening one way or the other these girls are playing ping pong with their assholes this is gonna be great oh they did

there was one where they played it was ping pongs with strap-ons though they also did I think they did a game where they put the some sort of target in the girl's asshole and they threw balls at it It was always something wacky. He did a bit where this is like early stern, but the woman was like called in like she was really turned on.

So he had her squat over the subwulfur and went to make it vibrate for her. And she's, she's, ah, ah, there's no way he didn't hire her to do that. There's no way that wasn't a setup. That's in the movie. Have you seen the movie? It's really good. Yeah. Private Parks is a very good movie.

you ever seen fiber parts uh taylor Howard Stern's biopic he plays himself and it starts off when he's a teenager so how adult Howard Stern plays teenager Howard Stern like at his mom's house so he's like simpson's mole man fellow kids well he made the movie in like I'm gonna call it 98 or something so he was 50 let's call it and and so he's definitely an adult man but but and it looks weird for him to play a 17 year old kid and that's that's part the gag, is that he's playing

himself. I get that the Stern show was funny and whatnot, but they seem to rely most heavily on like mocking retards and stuff, which is something the O'B and Anthony show did as well, but the O&A show mostly leaned

on like having a bunch of funny comedians in and then just letting them riff and that's why ONA, there's no way I could listen to Old Stern and think it's as funny as old ONA. Because it's It's just not that style of humor I like. It was like, it's like three or four hours long or something.

And like the first hour would be news, pretty news heavy, and he'd bounce back and forth of Robin. And then you'd also have Gary, but like after a while when you're like one woman on the show. She's very, she is not great. I don't like Robin at all. I never did. I like the rest of the guys. Everybody else, that whole cast of dudes they have there.

And I don't mean the whack pack. I mean John the stuttering John and Gary and and yes Jackie was great when he was still there Jackie the joke man and then who is it who's who's who's her boy that like his nose brought it away from Artie Lang had a million dollar year contract to sit next to Stern eat sausage McMuffins and send him a joke every 10 minutes and and you could tell every now and then Stern to be really funny like oh that's a singer and you knew that already had just been like Artie Lang is a very funny guy and so it was good to lock him up

So you have the drama of their lives So Artie's life and his drug use was part of the show He would talk about like how things weren't going well And like be really graphic about it Like all the guys and they would be So brutally mean to Gary That you didn't know if it was a gag anymore I have this theory

Because I think Stern is so fake Like most of the time And I think a lot of the bits or like just written bits and we're saying. Yeah, but that's okay because they do such a good job that I don't think anybody else thinks that. I think Gary fucked up his opening pitch at the baseball game on purpose.

If you don't know this, Baba Bowie through one of the worst opening pitches at a Major League Baseball game of all time. Like when you go to ESPN Top 10 list or YouTube Top 10 list, it's in the bottom three and everyone's list. It's crazy bad. they rid and he was a baseball coach he's a little league baseball coach for his son and they're like

does your son still take tips from you and his son's like not after that like his son's there they're mocking him in front of his like 12 year old children like about how pathetic he is and how humiliating it was they're like that's your thing you're a baseball player you're a coach who would want to be coached by you now and it went on for weeks and months and then jimmy Kimmel had Baba Booie on and surprise surprise he's like well we got a surprise for you and it was a surprise Jimmy Kimball's a piece of shit we've got a regulation pitching mound a catcher and here's a ball and he gets another chance to like make it right he hits a woman in the crowd that's funny that is funny yeah I didn't know Baba Booie was a guy that's he's the producer of the show okay and

you never know what's true. He wasn't paid that well. But Howard Stern was so successful. He made more money on the side as a consultant to other like shock jocks and DJs. And there, you know, Howard Stern's like, why are they hiring you? You're terrible. He's like, they don't know that. They think I'm the reason you're good. And I'm like, I can't tell if this whole conversation's fake or not. I don't know. Yeah. I remember listening to very old O&A. And Opie would constantly be like, guess what fucking retard Howard Stern is up to? And then like they'd all have to pretend to give a shit like Jimmy and aunt who just wanted to like riff and be funny. And then after the show ended, like there are so many episodes of like Jim on Ant's show or like both of them talking on another show or they're like, what was all that Howard Stern stuff about? And they were both, they're both like, oh my God. no one could have given less of a fuck about that guy than us Opie was obsessed with Howard Stern

and he always thought we were like sniffing Howard Stern's numbers no we were getting blown out by Howard Stern Howard Stern was blowing out everyone the idea that we were rivals with him is something that exists solely within Opie's mind we just wanted to make a funny show and invite a bunch of comedians on and have Patrice O'Neill and Bill Burr

and Dave Attell and Bobby Kelly and all these guys, Jim Jeffries, whoever over the years, come in and be funny. And that's what I liked the most about O&A. It was a bunch of guys with no script. And the comedians, when not given a whack pack member, turn on each other. And that's very funny. They're just ruthless to each other.

And that's an enjoyable show. My favorite comedy content of all time. Like more than any show, more than King of the Hill, more than early Simpsons. like old opium anthony is hilarious there's a i think she was an actress dana plato uh went on the show in 99 and they ridiculed her and what they'll do is they'll they'll start fucking with you and then they'll open up the phone lines maybe they don't want to ridicule you because it looked bad to the general audience so they'll open up the phone lines so the degenerates can call in and they won't cut the degenerate off when he's evil the worst things you can imagine they'll

say to these people she killed killed herself after the show. Oh, shit. She committed suicide after the show after Stern. She went on the show as like try to rejuvenate her career, try to revive her career. They ridiculed her and mocked her until she just like, well, this isn't going to work.

And then there was the fallout after she left the show. It wasn't social media then, but clearly there was some buzz. She killed herself. So I just watched a documentary about, it was about like reality shows in general or whatever. and it had a clip of this woman who was on I can't fucking remember what show it was but it was like very early 2000s

like right when reality TV was like first taking off and it was some dating type show equivalent to like The Bachelor or something and Stern had this woman on and she was basically talking about like how this reality she basically was like one of the first people telling the American public like hey reality TV turns out you won't believe this

it's all horseshit the way they had frame things like um she was trying to have a private conversation with like the you know the guy on the show whoever and so they went out in the woods where there aren't a million cameras pointed at them and uh they took off their mics and kind of like set them elsewhere to just have a private human conversation that's not being recorded and the uh producers of the show put like audio clips that they had separately recorded of her like moaning wow she was getting like a massage from another female contestant on the show, like just

completely out of context, but she was on Stern and she was telling this story and one of those people called in and yeah, just unrelenting. He's like, you're a lying fucking whore, you stupid bitch. And it's like,

Jesus fucking crisis, ladies just telling you like her version of the story. Like, I don't know what would. Stern's very careful to keep himself like isolated from that kind of stuff like like literally like like just just a plexiglass screen between him and the evil so that he doesn't have to wear it he would uh he would play a game called and i like this definitely wears it he would play this game called dumber than a box of rocks

where he had three bimbos come on and every time they got a trivia question wrong they had to say i'm dumber than a box of rocks and he would be incredibly apologizing i'm sorry oh i hate that i have to ask you to do this but it is the rules would you say it's the rules I made up for my show and they're like I'm dumber than a box of racks oh I hate that you have to say that that's so degrading that's awful you're wonderful you're beautiful see like that's like that's just fucking with someone who doesn't want to be fucked with in that way you know what I mean like it's it's not it's not as funny as like the way O and A used to do those like trivia shows they stomped on that homeless man's food that was Opie and Jim At the time, Jim and Ann were like, what fuck was that about? Why did you do that? Like, that's so horrible. And it could have been like a win for them if like immediately they had like come up the next

day with the behind the scene footage of them being like, I'm just kidding, man. Let's go to Mortons and get a steak. And then let's go get you a new wardrobe and a shower and like taking him out of the town and had a blast with him. Dude, literally anything. They could have shown up immediately behind that and been like, we stopped or Opie stomped that cake because we've got five better cakes for you right here. Give him an amount of cakes that are impossible to eat as a homeless guy.

That would be funny. Like that is a funnier thing because he still gets his cake and this and that. But like he just stomped on some homeless guy's cake who's like, oh, I was going to eat that. And it's like, what the fuck? But they would do it in O&A, the trivia thing, where they would have their local reach. retard Bobo go up against like the dumbest comedian they knew Rich Voss and it was funny because no matter what they said to Bobo he wanted to be a part of the show he wanted to participate he knew they were poking fun but he wanted to be a part of it and the joke was that Bobo

actually won a decent amount of questions or they'd be like list every president backwards from our current president and like Rich Voss just fucks it up early and then they're like Bobo? What did you get? And he's like, oh, I had Obama and then George W. Bush and then Clinton and then George H.W. Bush and then Regan and then Carter and then Judge and did. And he went like he went all the way back to like fucking Truman. Like just a crazy like run for a guy who's retarded. And the joke

was not bully the retarded guy. It was make fun of Rich Voss for being dumber than a retarded guy. That's how it was structured and that's why it was... You're telling me, O&A only had one retard? No, they had many retards. It's just Bobo was the funniest of them.

They had a lady die. So the Wackback on the Stern Show all made bank. So they would do these gigs like private party like appearances and they would host private parties as well and they would make tons of money. So guys like,

beetle juice and crackhead Bob and Jeff the drunk and Wendy the retard and Eric the midget and Blue Iris and all those people would have these these and and the limo driver. What's his name? Stern's driver or used to be he did security later on. Anyway, that guy and Gary and some of the other guys in the back would be part of these things. And they'd all make thousands and thousands of dollars like every weekend to show up to some party and drink and have a good time with fans. And it became like a, they were being exploited, but they were getting paid. That just sounds like work to me.

That just sounds like a job. It was. Yeah, like, ONA would do that as well where they would have, they had Lady Die on a crippled, cripplingly alcoholic woman. And they would like, at the end of the day, it'd be like, all right, lady die, do this or that. And then Anthony will throw in 20 bucks and Jimmy will throw in 20 bucks and I'll throw in 100 bucks. and you make that plus your little wage for today. And then the next day, she would come in.

And they'd be like, where's the money? A lady died. You pay that rent you need? And she's like, well, I really didn't because after the show, I went to TGIs and then at TGIs. And they would be like, just say TGI Fridays. Nobody says TGI. And they'd be like, what did you have at TGI Fridays? And they're like, she's like, well, I had chicken fingers and then 11 pints of beer.

And they're like, so how much money's left? And she's like, well, to be honest with you, about $4. And be like, you told us yesterday, you would go right home and spend this on rent. And so in that way, like, all these radio shows in the kind of more extreme era of radio were definitely taking advantage of retards. It was just the extent to which, or not just retard, like, or debilitated, not mentally healthy people. But the show, the show was big enough that it was a positive in their lives. I feel like Gary the midget became Gary the actor

because he started getting real acting roles it started out as a joke because like obviously it turns friends with tons of people in the entertainment industry and tons of people who are in the entertainment industry are listening so Eric would be like I want to act I need to I want to be on CSI Miami and like the producer of CSI Miami

watches the show so he's like yeah all right get in there you know like he got tons of acting gigs like that that's dire yeah I guess he was 2012 I think from a surgery or club-footed fuck-footed fucker

level of popular at the time his interviews are still like amazing every now and then I catch YouTube videos that'll just be his

interview with someone and they're very good they're very good interviews I like hearing him have a straight conversation with Eric Clapton or fucking Barack Obama or whoever

he's amazing at it but I still to talk about stuff you wouldn't think they'd open up about he got Bill Murray to talk about his love life and like his sense

of meaning and loneliness and stuff and it was like holy smokes this is bill murray being real yeah oh another jeopardy uh question which s and l cast member has won an oscar uh i don't know any s and l cat i've never watched s nl really oh oh just ignoring the cultural zike guys i've seen clips on youtube of like the cowbell have you never watched s and l because it's for old people and gay what the fuck is wrong with you this is like i don't know using context clues Bill Murray? That was what a lot of the contestants guessed, but hold

on. You'll never get it. You'll never get it. No. Who's that? Eddie Murphy. Nope. Well, damn. What era? Those are the only people I could have known.

It was, I'm, I honestly don't know. Was Chevy Chase on SNL? 80s or early 90s. He was. Okay. 80s, early 90s. Did Chevy Chase? Did Chevy Chase? Nope.

Nope. He'll never get it. Yeah, I got nothing. I didn't get it either. Go ahead. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. was a cast member of S&L briefly, and he recently won an Oscar for Oppenheim.

He's your peer, right? Were you guys in that commercial together? We were. Yes, yes. We didn't chat about that on the day. Yeah, that makes you peers. Yeah, we're more interested in Guy Ritchie's guitar playing. I didn't come up.

You bring it up where you were like, Yeah, I got the call about Iron Man also. It wasn't for me. I'm too big for the suit. Yeah, yeah. You know, I only took a cold and show my face. Yeah, it seems like pretty gay cable. Yeah, some kid movie?

No, thanks, dude. Comic books. I thought you were an actor. I was excited when you said we have another Jeopardy question to end the show, but then you didn't fucking S&L one. Yeah, I know. excited to, I wanted, I wanted to get one right, like I wanted to do it. I didn't

know Robert Downey Jr. was on SNL. Trout and I are closer to the same age. Have you ever watched SNL? Have you ever sat down and been like, ah, time to relax and pop on some SNL for some laughs? On a Saturday night, EBS so fucking glutely nut. Dude, one of the

worst experiences of my life, this was Christmas like fucking five years ago. My girlfriend's mom, we were talking about Saturday Night Live or Bill Murray or something, like in the same way we are. right now and she's like i gotta show you guys something and so she googles you know whatever fucking clip from when she was like 25 and s nl was on back in the fucking late 70s early 80s and she projects it up on their tv and it was the shittiest skit i've ever seen in my life like i

have seen it was like the loud family i think is what it was that's garbage that concept was there's a family of people who are loud. Yes. It was so unfunny and just bad. Like even as a concept for a joke, it's just so shitty. Yeah. And then Dave Chappelle took that

and made it into a very funny bit on the Chappelle show. The you know what family. Oh. But he's the milk man. Good moment. NOS gets mostly sucked. And I know you guys said,

you didn't watch it, but I bet you do catch the news sometimes. The SNL, like fake news, especially the ones that go viral are, I don't know their names, I bet Kyle does. We can't up it. Yeah. Well, we get up to the actor's names. One of them's married to Scarlett. Johnson.

So, yeah. The white guy's married to Scarlet Jones. Fuck, yeah, he is. Yeah, yeah. And he's all in his face. Right. And, but they write each other's jokes. And they usually, like, walk each other into saying things that, you know, are kind of regretful. You've seen it. S&L is still other's bits and they're both and they're

credibly. I have seen those clips. And the white guy has to just call black people monkeys or something. Like, it's not bad. It's pretty bad. I like the, uh, he's doing Supervan. This is a black Supervan. He's going to be the man of steel, but they spell it, S-T-E-A-L.

Okay. And the white guy's telling that joke. You know, he's like, that's pretty funny. That's good. I don't think I could dedicate myself to 30 minutes of that, though. It's good. I think nowadays a lot of shows kind of exist in like the YouTube short world.

You know, even though originally SNL, SNL is a YouTube thing now and you just watch the better ones. Oh, it's perfect for YouTube because there's skits. And of course, what everyone says is only a couple of the sketches are good. It's like, yeah, they wrote all of this this week in the last four days, rehearsed for one, and here it is for you. If they get one in three that are bangers, what are you complaining about?

It's their great. Yeah, there's no way I could do. The other day, I was driving. I was on like a three-hour road trip, and I was just thinking of just like, you know, ideas for shit I'm going to film or skits or whatever. And I came up with this concept for a skit. I was listening to, I think it was Fleetwood Mac,

and there's this song where the fucking tambourine just goes so hard. And so I was driving. And I'm like, dude, it would be so funny to film a skit where it's like, they're in the recording studio. And the guy with the tambourine is like, just taking it way too fucking seriously. And then I stop at the gas station. I put the gas, you know, pump in or whatever.

And I'm like, this is a golden fucking idea. And I walk in, buy a pack of cigarettes and a Red Bull, walk back out. And I was like, seriously, this idea for the skit I came up with is really fucking good. And I was like, God damn it. I just wrote the fucking cowbell skit from Syner. All right. All right. The category is geographic neighbors.

Okay. The Hermit Nation and the Losson. land of the morning calm are nicknames for these two neighbors. The Burmish The Hermit Nation and the land of the

morning calm are nicknames for these two neighbors. Australia and New Zealand. They border. This is going to be North and South Korea. The Hermit Nations, North Korea.

What was the second one, Kyle? The Hermit Nation. Land of the morning. calm. Land of the morning calm. I'm going to go with the

Koreas as well. Is it I got this one right by the way. Did I? You got the morning calm Laos in Vietnam?

No, false. So these two are right and the clue was the hermit nation. I knew the hermit nation was North Korea and I know

vaguely the countries that border North Korea, Russia, China, South Korea. I don't know what else. And, uh... It's just China is just... It's just Russia and Russia.

And Russia. And China touches it. Bet me. Bet me. Bet me. Bet me. I believe you on the line before you Google, baby. I'm going five dollars.

Question. Does China border one? Five dollars a trap. Five dollars, no China. Russia and South Korea only. Uh, Russia, China, and South Korea border. Oh, Korea. It's exactly what I thought.

The tiniest little fucking sliver. It's 40, 50 miles, right? Damn it. I owe Kyle $5. You can owe me. Don't pay me. I want this over you. Damn it.

I didn't know North Korea was known as the Hermit Nation. It is. Nation of Hermits. I love, I'm glad that's still on the end. Or are they like, don't call me that. They probably don't care to be called that. They don't be the land of the magnificent. Sun or something.

The cheese god. I'm surprised Jeopardy's still on the air because it seems so dry. And it's been on for decades and decades. And I like it. I really do enjoy the show. They mix it up a lot. That Ken Jennings guy is the host now. He's the guy you may remember who went on that incredible run.

I don't remember how many he won in a row, maybe 20, 30, something like that, racked up some crazy amount of money. He's the host now. Is he the one that lost and then the question was wrong? so they brought him back on and he won I don't know that I think I remember you think that was talking about

yeah because he was on I mean it was almost like a full fucking calendar year he was on and on and on like people who it was like did you hear about that guy on Jeopardy

he's won 25 in a row what I don't watch Jeopardy but that's cool like I tuned in I was like let's see what this super genius who's mopping the floor with like the 50 people they put in front of him

he's destroyed them all smart guy so he's a good host for the show obviously and he's funny too I saw the other day he accidentally gave the answer away before the question was asked and he went shit such a funny moment

to see him be a human that is cool do you want a good game show moment just to enjoy on YouTube look up the guy who figured out the pattern on press your lock there's a movie about that

excellent yeah yeah there's doc and there's movies coming out too I thought you were going to say the guy who called his dad on who wants to be a millionaire. And he's like, I don't actually need your help. I'm just letting you know, I got a million dollars. I'm going to win. There was a guy who lost it like the $12,000 or $16,000 question, something like that. But the question was wrong.

Like he didn't get it. It was a bad question. They brought him back and he won the million. The moops. The moose. It's Moors. It's a misper. print on the card it says

moops there are no moops that's a 35 you know there was a real bubble boy that was like like that's I bet that's lost people who watch Seinfeld now they don't know that there was a world famous bubble boy for a while with an autoimmune disorder who had to live in a plastic bubble

his entire life until he passed away in his teens there was that really shitty comedy movie I can't even remember who was it was like a oh it's it's it's called bubble boy it's the guy from not Jared Leto, the one who looks like him, the fucking... Jillen Hall?

Jillen Hall. Jake Gillenhall plays the Bubble Boy. You know what's crazy? I've seen Bubble Boy. Yeah. That's the wrap. King Trout. Thank you for coming.

Great guests. Thank you for showing up. Taylor's going to take a film education class. We're going to sort this out. There's something wrong with you. I can't believe. Like, you watch TV. You watch me.

movies. You have a big ass 80-inch screen. Like, you have what I watch the same shows again and again and again and again. I just, I run the audience of the background. I think not. What do you do while it's in the background? Like, what are you doing physically?

I do the exact same thing with fucking Futurama. I have future. Sometimes I do background and I work out or I put some furniture together or I do some research or I just goof off or whatever. But sometimes I sit down and put on a fucking movie and I was watch it.

I'm making my girlfriend watch the Sopranos right now. That's pretty good. Oh, great. Good for you. You can watch it a fourth fucking time. No, this will be my second full watch through. Oh,

wow. I've genuinely seen it so many times. I've seen it all the times. Yeah, they're a little like, I haven't seen it enough to not, or to know every scene rather. And so that's fair.

I wish I was you. You're like, oh, I kind of forget that. Oh, that's good. I like when Paul. I forgot Paulie did that.

Anyway, sorry, King. Oh, I was just going to say, I know it's a bit that you're not watching Terminator 2, but it actually does fucking rule. It's like one of the best movies at all the time. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-bom-bom. Step one. Step one. Watch Terminator 1. Yeah, give it or take.

All right. Look at King Trouts, YouTube. Check out of his content. You will enjoy it. Funny guy. K-A-766. I know now what.