Painkiller Already - PKA 767 W/ SantiZap: Kyle Was Jealous Of His Teachers Fiancée

Episode Date: August 30, 2025

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Starting point is 00:00:00 PCA 767 with our guest, Santys app. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Blue Chew, lock and load, our wonderful merchandise. Santi, good to have you on. Always a pleasure. The Raja News, adjacent to you and adjacent to Kyle and Woody's interest. I'm a bit left out in the Colt, but I can pretend. So what's your take on this whole thing?
Starting point is 00:00:24 Well, first of all, thanks for having me on again. And my little corner of the internet pro wrestling, like, was paying attention to it and then I'm pretty sure we cursed Hulk Hogan because he died like four days after we talked about him for like 30 minutes then Brock Lesnar came back through all the P video allegations he's back and now the Raja stuff so now everyone's looking at professional wrestling you ask my take on it I think it's there's only like one correct take it's and it's that it's good for my career it's attempted murder in every way way, shape, and form.
Starting point is 00:01:02 The only, there's like a subset of people that believe that Raja is in the right. And those are the typical grifters that you see on Twitter that are just being like on purpose trying to incite engagement. Yeah. The other side are the people that just simply don't know any better and don't understand the context of what happened with professional wrestling and whatnot, which by the way, I find it hilarious that I spent my whole life arguing with people about like wrestling is fake and whatnot. And now I'm having to remind people, wrestling is fucking fake? Not all of the sudden,
Starting point is 00:01:35 is it real? If there are still people that don't fall in either of those camps, then I think they're just stupid people. I genuinely think that this is just attempted murder. If you still think that Raja is somehow in the right that he's justified, I don't know what to tell you. I have a specific question as a potentially stupid person. The thing where he hit the beer on Raja's head, right? And I saw what I think was beer like splash out. Did he break the can? Did he have his thumb on the hole? Or did he hit him hard? Do you know how that's done? Yeah, it's, it's gimmicked. They know how to do that so that it doesn't hurt. Now, the fundamental problem with this is that it looks like that wasn't talked about beforehand. Now, I'll tell you from my personal experience.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I've done what Raja had to do there, not attempt to kill somebody, but do a spot with an the organization. What they did is they brought me there an hour early. Hey, here's who you're working with. Hey, nice to meet you. Here are the plans that we're going to do. By the way, I'm going to say some really mean things. Are you okay with that? Yeah, I'm okay with that. I'm going to push you really hard. Are you okay with that? Yeah, I'm okay with that. Here's how you hit somebody with a chair. All of the things were explained to me so that I didn't hurt somebody so that I didn't make myself look like a dumbass and so that I didn't make the wrestlers look like dumbasses. I think that step was completely skipped in this Raja situation, because it's very
Starting point is 00:03:01 clear Raja was there to do a spot for Knox Pro. I don't think that he just randomly showed up to this small indie organization. He was there to make content, but clearly somewhere along the way, there was no communication. And then when Psychostu breaks into character, I think that Raja is caught off guard. He, his feelings are hurt. And by the way, They warned me, like, I'm going to try and hurt your feelings. Are you okay with that when they were talking me through things? And I think in that lapse of communication, that's where all of this ended up happening. Now, it doesn't justify what Raja did.
Starting point is 00:03:41 I'm just pointing out some logistical flaws in what happened in this situation where it's professional wrestlers, people that do this for a living, and a dude that doesn't. You really got to, like, nurture that situation and, and really massage it so that it doesn't go poorly. And not only did it go poorly, it was literally nuclear, the worst possible situation that could have happened. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Well, not the worst possible situation. He could have killed. He succeeded. He could have gone a little bit far. Fair. But that was like, that was three times as long as the fight club scene of Brad Pitt doing that to the blonde guy.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Like that scene was less time in the movie. less egregious than what he did just just bananas like you can't have that guy running around did they arrest him yet or is he still just chilling i think he's just chilling as far as i've seen what i'm assuming is that they're doing a major investigation as to whether or not it's worth to charge him with attempted murder like do they have enough coming through all of the footage Knox pro the organization is being incredibly not helpful with the police they're keeping their mouth shut because I think they know that there is a lot that could be pointed at them. If you've combed through the footage, the promoter of that gives Raja the green light,
Starting point is 00:05:04 hey, get in there and get your lick back. Why that should not be happening. Let me talk about that. So what he told him was to get your receipt. And I just use context clues to mean, like, hurt him. I'm not attempted murder, but like, is receipt a known term? Does that mean something specific? Can you explain it to me?
Starting point is 00:05:23 Yeah, a receipt in wrestling is when somebody that you are wrestling with or working with does something where they might go into business for themselves to purposely make you look bad or they sandbag you or they hurt you on purpose or accidentally, you give them a receipt, which is usually like a stiff punch, stiff kick, nothing to knock them out, nothing to ruin the performance, but something to let them know, I got you back on that one. And you usually let them know in the ring. It's like, that was your receipt.
Starting point is 00:05:50 So that way it doesn't turn into a full-fledged fight. So there is communication there. And if they disagree on whether or not the receipt was justifiable, then they fight in the back. They don't continue to fight in the ring. So that is a known term. There were two people in that live stream that told Raja to go get his receipt. The first one was the promoter. And that's where that's super sketchy because in that night, that's that's Stu's boss.
Starting point is 00:06:17 He's paying Stu. So he basically gave the go ahead to this guy to go hurt his night employee. And then the other one is another wrestler later on in the live stream that says, go in there, get your receipt. And now people are calling out that wrestler, like, why would you do that? And now he is hiding under the veil of like, I was just in character. That wasn't me. That was the mighty Hannah Cowboy Man.
Starting point is 00:06:41 But that if you're in character, you wouldn't use insider lingo because that means that not all of your punches are real. and if you're in character, all of your punches are real. So using the term receipt is basically admitting that wrestling and all of the punches and all the stuff that happens isn't real. Ergo, you are not in character. Yeah. So receipt as a term is an incitement of an actual. Yeah, it is purely insider.
Starting point is 00:07:11 It is not something that is used in a storyline like, oh, let me tell you something, brother, it's time for your receipt. That's not used at all. That is purely insider terminology. And he was talking to a violent person who's borderline mentally disabled with coded language. Yeah, borderline. Never a great idea. And didn't he
Starting point is 00:07:27 get like roundhouse kick like three days prior and got a nasty concussion? I did hear he was concussed. I saw the kick. It wasn't he took a kick from a lighter guy. He did get kick in the head. I mean it didn't knock him down. I mean, maybe he was concussed. It didn't
Starting point is 00:07:43 knock him down. If that's the, if that's the concussion they're talking about him having that week. They throw that out there like, getting a concussion earlier in the week makes you like oh yeah I'm just anything could happen I'm not me anymore I said no dude no no yeah no how it works it's not like oh that that you know defensive back got concussed three weeks ago that's why he tried to twist Tom Brady's head off it's like no that doesn't happen like no one's doing that yeah it's very the problem he's got some sort of like Royd rage situation going on like
Starting point is 00:08:14 like like the way he looked after the the attempted murder and the way he's just wide eye and oh my goodness i was like scared he was going to have a heart attack on stream yeah scared or hopeful well he was served first and then he was very armed up but yeah he was very amped up yeah it's pretty clear that something legally is going to happen with knox pro um because even wwe so knox pro is like a big academy they are like one of the feeder systems to future WWE talents. It's like run by like the Samoan dynasty. So like family members of the rock and Roman reigns if that name means anything to you. W.W.E had an affiliation with them.
Starting point is 00:08:59 That was a quote, W.W.E. ID school. The second this happened, WW is like, we're done, severing ties. We're done. So a big financial vein for Knox Pro is completely gone. And I'm sure WVC is the writing on the wall that like something is going to happen with this school or this academy legally in some way, shape, or form. They're liable, at the very least for what happened to stew from a civil point of view by putting him in that situation or making that situation possible, like a workplace issue, right? And then there's the literal attempted murder from Raja that's, I think, going to be
Starting point is 00:09:36 obviously separate. Yeah. What's their defense going to be? Like, is there literally defense from the organization other than like, there was no way I could know this guy was going to tart out in there? They shouldn't say anything. They shouldn't say anything. Their lawyer is going to be telling them organization from top to bottom. Don't say a word. Don't say anything until we know what the charges are and we get into court. They're not going to say anything. One of the guys who told him to get his receipts said he's fired and he's lost his job and that stuff. Do you know which one? Everyone looks the same to me. Who was that that happened to? So that his, I can't remember his first name. His last name is Hannah. He's a cowboy. That's his gimmick. He was the wrestler guy. that was the wrestler that was the wrestler the promoter is a big Samoan guy so he's part of that family he ain't going anywhere um but the wrestler he went on a pretty like angry rant on on social media about how um yeah like his life is ruined and all of this stuff um i think psychostews is worse if you personally ask me uh they did show that the photo of him in the hospital looks way better than i thought he was going to did you guys see the photo the beard i feel like yeah
Starting point is 00:10:46 him a lot of you think what it is that's what it is the beard makes it makes it look not as bad i bet if he smiled you'd feel different i bet he i bet he looks gummy as fuck beard shrouds at a good bit it does if you if you knock a bunch of your teeth knocked out you're laying in the hospital bed beard's going to make yeah i linked his go fund me here they so far they're at 184000 uh raised so good for them that'll help him with some of those hospital bills yeah i'm not going to donate but I'm doing my part by saying to go donate. I just did that.
Starting point is 00:11:18 You can't co-opt my... I opt both of you and I've offered my thoughts and prayers. You didn't even know there wasn't go-fund me. Oh, you keep your thoughts and your prayers. No, it's too late. I've offered them already. I already gave mine out this week.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Zach physically pull up the page so we can see, see, I'm the cause of this. Oh, there's more plates more days. Yeah. Oh, we got old Derek. Chris Jericho gave... Oh, that's real money. It's small on my screen.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I thought he gave like $5. Dude, that would be the funniest shit ever. Like, if I were Warren Buffett, I'd be like, remember to help just like people's go fundies for like kidney disease. And I'm leaving like $7. That is seven times more than my idea. That would be funny. It's like I'm paying for, I'm paying an exposure. I'm donating an exposure.
Starting point is 00:12:09 I don't get a dog charities. Do you guys think of? at all. Never. If you are the lawyer of Raja, what angle do you even take here? You probably try, I don't know, maybe you try to like prove that he's so dumb, he can't be held accountable for his actions. They like have him read like that, you know, caterpillar eating his way out of an apple book and he can't in front of the jury. And they should be trying to, they should be trying to settle this civilly out of court and, uh, and hope that they get stew to help them in their their defense is what they should be buying stew off that's the
Starting point is 00:12:49 i like the civil idea if i was his attorney i think i'd try to prove that it murder wasn't the goal right like assault was the goal and plead to that to where he could have some i don't know 60 days in jail or something like that because it's it's it's kind of be more than that listen if raja was aspiring to kill him i'm not sure punches would be his method of doing it this is an M. M. A fighter, right? He could have broken bones. He could have worked a choke, something like that. If murder was the goal, you don't do it with punches to the cheek. You ask me what I do as an attorney. I think it's pretty clear. It's, yeah, he was trying to kill him. So like, I, not that I just don't know if I don't think that would resonate well defensively, because you can see him like in fury. And it also doesn't help that there are like, he didn't stop. There are like comedy writing style. lead-ups to it, where if the attorney was like, Your Honor, he clearly did not intend to murder him. Why else did he use his fist as a professional fighter and not some, a series of a Rube Goldberg
Starting point is 00:13:53 machine where an anvil was serendipus and dropped on his head from the rapist. Like, no, they're going to be like, okay, that's interesting. Here's a video of him four minutes earlier on kick. And he's like, yeah, I will kill him. I will kill him. Did he say that? That's not true. I did hear him say my dad won't call me a bitch anymore.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Well, that's a different issue. That's daddy issue. Rampage's parenting has suffered a reputational blow. Are you familiar with their gimmick, if you can call it that, like how awful they are to one another on stream? A little bit. I've seen like some clips of it, but I'm not like a long time fan. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:14:40 So they're incredibly mean to one another on stream, whether it's a gimmick or it's just bad parenting. Yes, yes. They assault one another frequently on stream and like beat each other up and like take each other down and slap each other in the nuts and kick each other. He kicked his son out of a party a while back because the son was hitting on the girl. He was trying to fuck. Like they have weird dynamics. He's always like, like Raj's a vegan and they'll be eating. He's like, you ain't never going to be a professor.
Starting point is 00:15:10 fighter eating like a vegan fucking pussy. Ain't no blood of mine. I'm going to get another DNA test. You can't be my son. Look at them big old fucking ears. You some milkman's son. He's shit, weak-ass blood. You ain't my blood. It's fucking like shitting on him as mean as you can be.
Starting point is 00:15:27 That seems hilarious. I enjoyed their content as of last week. I watch a good bit of it. It's fun. I get recommended it all the time. They're mean as shit. And you know, I like MMA. And, uh, and I didn't. know the kid was 25. I didn't know. I thought he was 18, 19 and like really like just cutting
Starting point is 00:15:45 his teeth into MMA. I didn't know he's a grown ass man who can rent a car. Yeah. Half the the Rampage Jackson clips that I see from his live stream is more often than not some women being, honey, can Rampage Jackson pick me up? And of course, Rampage Jackson is right there and the husband half the size like, sure, babe, I guess. Rampage Jackson can pick you up. Half the time is just him trying to cuck other men on his live stream from what i've seen wait is this like out and about at fights they're not like sitting in no they don't fight anymore no no no they say they do i rl streaming so they'll they'll go everywhere i've literally sat down and watched rampage jackson eat at chick filet like that's what he does he just goes around documenting his life
Starting point is 00:16:29 it's entertaining quentin jackson's uh streams are great raja jackson's less so i i feel like his his viewership are those people that when Rampage isn't on they just go watch Raja probably yeah he would definitely be a much smaller draw he's not going to be anything in the MMA world right like he at 25 he would have been by now right yeah he's like 0-1-1 in his professional career
Starting point is 00:16:59 if you can call it looked more promising anyway like when did Israel out of sign you get in the UFC 29 he was a pro kickbox before that though he was cutting his teeth on like like Right, he showed promise, but, you know, I'm saying he joined the UFC in his 30s, I think. Yeah, yeah, but he was like a pro kickbox, like a world champion kickbox or somewhere else. Raja is an attempted murderer somewhere else. You know what I mean? Like, he doesn't have any accomplishments at 25.
Starting point is 00:17:22 That's got to be really difficult to be like the sibling or child of a professional athlete with those expectations on you, and then just to not have what it takes. You should be able to post in life. only the parents a piece of shit like you could be that other Manning brother and just be a happy accountant I bet they don't give him shit I bet they don't go in the backyard and throw the ball around
Starting point is 00:17:44 like don't throw it to Tommy he never he could never cut it anyway I'm just like playing keep away with the ball and they're all 45 wait wasn't there a bit on the Simpsons of the Manning brothers then broasting the one Manning brother that didn't play at the NFL sure it's a Simpson's bit
Starting point is 00:17:58 but it seems like rampage is like all day every day like that ain't my son You know, one of Rampage's sons is an albino. He's blonde hair and blue eyes, but he's black, if that makes sense. And he's like, what? I don't know if you can wrap my head around this. Well, it's a little bit hard because, like, his features are African America very much, but he's blonde hair and blue eyes.
Starting point is 00:18:21 If he doesn't have the red albino eyes. That's pygmies. No, pygmies are the little ones. Oh, yeah. What are those little rats that have the pink eyes? That's a different form of little one. You're thinking of a coppice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:38 It reminds me of like, like, Rajah Jackson reminds me of like the, the Wayne Gretzky's brother record where it's like Wayne Gretzky and his brother, Brent, have the most points combined by biological brothers. And there's like families of six, seven, eight guys who have played in the NHL that are less. And it's like, Wayne Gretzky's total was 2,857 points. And Brent Gretzky had four. he could have not played and it would still be a record i forget who said it but this guy is like oh tuesday right that's the day that michael jordan and i combined for 70
Starting point is 00:19:16 points and michael jordan had 68 that day that's funny taylor i think i would have a great life if my father was a professional athlete i don't think that well to be fair my dad isn't Rampage Jackson call me a baby bag bitch because I'm not like him. I would imagine that most healthy relationships between father, son, mother, daughter, you know, pro athlete, regular kid are going to be conducive of a regular nepotism-filled life of just getting everything that you want. I think I'd be okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:53 I mean, that would be fine. And it would be even better if you could somehow outperform the professional athlete parent like I'll admit I do that like in the NHL when they were like oh now Matthew Kachuk is joining the NHL he's getting a crack because his dad is Keith Kachuk and then you watch like two games of Matthew and it's like no it doesn't matter what this guy's last name is he's an NHL player like I think the trick there is to play a different sport because Michael Jordan's son will always be considered a failed basketball player we have a perfect example going on right now, Brony James and LeBron James.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Brony is never going to hit the heights of LeBron James. I feel genuinely bad for him because he was a good enough player to maybe eventually get to the NBA had he played four years, but they drafted him after one year in college and he shouldn't have even been drafted in the first place. But had he gone to play, I don't know, Olympic volleyball, oh, that's sick. LeBron James' kid is winning gold in Olympic volleyball. That's good idea. That seems like the place he could actually cut it.
Starting point is 00:20:57 where just amazing genetics and an infinite money pipeline of trainers and camps could get you to compete at that level. Yeah, that's what he should have done. Speaking of the, we were talking about the bad Manning brother, his name's Cooper. That's Arch Manning's dad, the quarterback for Texas, the number one school in the country. Skip the generation. Skip the generation for him. I hope something bad happens to him this year.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Every single person, every Thanksgiving. It's like, how's work? It's like, well, we've got the Colts next weekend. It's like, what's up with you, fucking Cooper? And he's like, well, Q3 wrapping up. Got a lot of work and coming down the bike. Yeah, that would be. Sol three houses, Jack.
Starting point is 00:21:45 That's good. Thanks for the last name. Is there a non, like, big four, like super major sport that you'd want to be good at? you know we mentioned volleyball is there like fencing or darts what is the big four the big four being like american football i'll throw soccer in there hockey basketball that was the one i was hoping you forgot no that counts that counts that calisian the world get out of here this well not here but i thought his big four was going to be like hockey basketball football and how about this the sports where you can make real money are out of the out of the conversation is there a sport where
Starting point is 00:22:25 you'd want to be good at, even if it's just to show off to friends at a bar. I think volleyball. I think volleyball is the move because then maybe you get to be on the same, like, circle as the women's volleyball players. And, uh, and I want to hang out with them. I want to hang out with them. It's not a sport, but my answer is chess. Great answer.
Starting point is 00:22:46 You're good at chess. People think you're a genius, a virtuoso, right? Like, oh, he's a chess grandmaster. He probably could have done any. investing, quadratic equations. I don't know. He's good at this chess game. Therefore, he's a genius at everything.
Starting point is 00:23:02 I like the perks that come along with being good at that game. That's a great answer. And I don't remember if it was Magnus Carlson or some other, like, Finnish or Norwegian chess pro interview I saw. A crazy amount of those guys are like Norway, Finland, Sweden. Those guys love chess. Russia. And, yeah, Russia, too. They're big into chess.
Starting point is 00:23:21 And there was some interviewer asking him, like, so like, do you find people often think you're like a genius and everything just because you're excellent at chess and he's like yes i am very good at chess but you know what i find is it's more fun making people believe i am genius because really i'm just really good at chess they're like how do you know this how do you know that he's like it's study and equations and memorization and knowing the correct order and what the likelihoods of different openings or more than that games are i've seen and this guy was a magnus karl Wilson play. So they put the board
Starting point is 00:23:56 on and he turns around and faces away from the board and they play that way. He never looks at the board. They audibly tell him where they move the pieces and he audibly immediately tells them what moves to make. For him. There's a piece you left out. There's a piece you left out. That clip
Starting point is 00:24:14 you're talking about, he's playing 15 different people. He's got 15 boards in his head. Not just the one. It's crazy. And it's not 15 means. it's people that know how to play chess. Like I only know the basic rules. Like I don't know opening.
Starting point is 00:24:31 People who never refer to it as the horsey. No. What's this fucking butt plug? A bishop. That's what I knew. I was good at one of those weird sports in high school. I picked up badminton because there was a hot girl that I wanted to talk to. Yeah, badminton's a lot of fun.
Starting point is 00:24:50 But I wasn't like naturally good at racket sports. I was just a very athletic guy that came from like all of the real sports that decided to play badminton because the cute girl was there and I accidentally like carried a badminton career for like four years to like three appearances at state finals
Starting point is 00:25:08 but would be our states. Yeah, yeah. I lost like two years in a row to this Japanese kid named Yuzo Watanabe who didn't have a backhand. He would just fucking switch hands. So you didn't know what to fucking do. You want to throw like to people's backhand.
Starting point is 00:25:24 hands and Yuzo's like, ah, just switch hands and stand in the middle. Fucking Yuzo. I love the amount of effort in the badminton swings versus the speed of the projectile because it's like they're crushing it, but then just the design of it, it can't go that fast. 18 feet later, it's going straight down. Yeah. I remember my grandpa had a badminton set up in his outdoor shed and like none of me or
Starting point is 00:25:49 my cousins and we are kids understood that game. and we just it's less user friend or less beginner friendly even than like tennis because you know how if they're like teaching somebody to play tennis a little bit you're just rallying you're trying to teach them the way to hit it and so like if the ball bounces twice on their side before they get a chance to smack it you don't go actually that would be my point you just you just let them hit it back to get used to it badminton you don't have that there's no bounce like you you beef it and it's like you have to restart the whole rally so we'd we had very short sprees of playing that
Starting point is 00:26:23 tennis has a double-edged sword when picking it up though because like with badminton you can just wail it and it's it'll go not that far just enough to stay in court but tennis if you wail it because you're a newb this shit will go to the other side of your town it will disappear it is and it's humiliating when you're playing tennis
Starting point is 00:26:44 and there's like 20 feet high fences around and you hit it out it's like now I have to like go to the gate and then walk 60 yards around the pen and walk down the little hill at the park grab the ball come back embarrassing that's why pickleball is the move man pickleball is like tennis but if you want it easy as fuck you don't have to run a class than tennis tell me is it uh no i don't think so like it's uh there's a club near my house that uh a buddy of mine is really into pickleball wants to go and so like i go with him semi regularly uh something i didn't like
Starting point is 00:27:22 is we went to this pickleball club and it was me and my girlfriend and then my buddy and his wife and we were going for like open play and I was like oh it's going to be like the four of us playing and you know they're both very experienced I have played probably six times ever and my girlfriend really very little experience no experience in racket sports and then we get there and my buddy's like well the way it happens is you put all your you put your paddles in this like bucket and then If you, then, like, the, you know, administrator takes four paddles out and sends you to a court. And then if you lose, you come back and put your paddles in the challenger bucket. And if you win, you come back and put them in, like, the winner bucket. And then they, like, reorganized based on that. And it was like, okay, well, this is like a little annoying. I didn't want to play with a bunch of random people. I wanted to kind of play with my friends.
Starting point is 00:28:12 And the first couple that my girlfriend and I got matched up with, this is probably three, four weekends ago, was this Asian lady. and this Asian guy, Asian couple, probably like late 40s, early 50s. And immediately it becomes clear. This is like their thing. They're like hitting it like well, like smoking it. Like my girlfriend has no idea how to return to serve. And this fucking cunt Asian lady is like acing her over and over.
Starting point is 00:28:43 And I just, I want to be like, is that what you wanted to do today? Like ruin someone's attempt at like picking up a hobby? You fucking bitch? Really? Like you're going to like, You weren't going to take it to a racist place? I would have been like, oh, you, what you do here? Pretend like that's your real accent.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Like, I know what you, I know which, I'll see you at your car. And I know which one it is. It's with the fucking ruined hub caps and the dents. I was, I was like furious at one point, but trying to remain composed. Because it was like, like, they knew she was brand new. And they were like, instead of being amicable and curtail. and like teaching someone in the hobby they were like teeing off on her like if me and the Asian guy were having a good rally and then I hit it to the Asian girl she didn't like
Starting point is 00:29:31 continue the rally with me she spiked it at my girlfriend and then she misses it and we lose the point we go we got blown out and I was not enthused no that's no that's no fun you need when you're when you clearly see people that are new into the hobby you got a you want to make sure that they that they come back I had a guy this was maybe like six years of ago. I was in a squash tournament. And it's hard. It's hard. Greatest work you'll ever get. That's what every squash player fucking says. It's a tournament and half of the people are like 70. That's just what squash players typically look like. There might be the random like person people in like their
Starting point is 00:30:09 early 30s like me, like a young guy getting into it in 19. It's just a regular tournament of regular people. And then some fucking douchebag comes in and signs up for the tournament. He came third at the Pan American games. Fuck you. What are you doing here? This is a beer league where fucking Roger over a year had a heart attack two
Starting point is 00:30:31 years ago and Marcus there only has one functioning knee. That's why Robert's name is on the bitch. I disagree entirely. It sucks to suck, get good. I'm sitting here wondering how I can find an over 70 squash
Starting point is 00:30:47 tournament. I was like the sucks to suck because like when I go into like sporting events I always have in my head like Taylor you're not like a hyper competitive guy in sports you're just a you know you're just being chill and then like I go down by a couple points and I'm like to my girlfriend being like you know if you could just if you could just get to the side of the ball when you're trying to hit it because when you stand directly behind it and you go like this you're not going to get you're not going to get a purchase you're not going to get an angle and we keep losing these fucking points. I'm like trying to hold it and she's afterwards she's like Taylor you're just giving me a lot of correction throughout the game and I'm like I know but I'm half as much as you needed yeah but I it's just always like John McEnroe out there
Starting point is 00:31:36 dude it's like a full like self-identity destroying thing every time we're like I'm playing any game and someone fucks up and I go from like patient thinking I'm like Mr. Chill Mr. Cool guy to be an agitated so rapidly. I love that Taylor's girlfriend is still in the, I enjoy the same things you do lie,
Starting point is 00:31:56 phase of the relationship. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the blues, huge fan. Huge fan over here. She hasn't even done. She's a card. Her family is like a Cardinals family. I have to like explain.
Starting point is 00:32:09 What is what actually likes Eldon Ring, Taylor? Did you know that? She loves it. She loves it. Dude, when I come back she's watching it on YouTube by herself
Starting point is 00:32:21 you got a good set up Eldon Ring wife pretzel wife I just got my basically wife not officially married I just got her into Pokemon collecting with me because I've been by the way a horrible idea
Starting point is 00:32:36 I am deeply thousands of dollars into this hobby but she's like I want to go to these card shows and help you look for the things that you're looking for. Ultimately we came down on like, hey, I want you to get in on this too. Why don't you pick a Pokemon that you really like or you think is really cute, really
Starting point is 00:32:54 adorable, and we'll start collecting those cards. She picks a Pokemon from, if this term means anything, Gen 1, so 1996, the original 151 named Ditto. I was like, oh, that's an adorable Pokemon. It's like this blob. It literally is just a piece of gum. And it's one of like the most expensive ones to collect for. I am seeing cards that are like $900 plus and it is a daunting task to tell her that we cannot complete this collection because I finally got her into something that I'm interested in even if she's faking it I don't want to ruin this.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Have her play Pokemon any Gen 1 Pokemon game and get a Ditto and start using it and she will immediately be off the Ditto train. It was like the coolest. So like for Woody and Kyle, Ditto was a Pokemon whose entire. shtick, it only knows one move called transform, and it's just a pink blob. And no matter what Pokemon, it's fighting, it transforms into that exact Pokemon with its exact moves, which sounds like it could be fun, but it's not, because all it means is that you always hit second. And your opponent knows exactly what your type is and what they can do to fuck it up.
Starting point is 00:34:07 And so, like, it's a really neat concept, but it doesn't actually work well. So yeah, have her played the Pokemon game. She'll try ditto out, be like, this Pokemon sucks ass. And then you'll, like, find, I don't know, what's another one that girl likes, Pikachu. No, that's worse. That's worse. There's like, oh, my God, Pikachu, there are, there is a Pikachu card that is like $5 million. That's the one that Logan Paul wears to events and stuff.
Starting point is 00:34:35 It's called, yeah, it's called an illustrator Pikachu. And I can't, I don't have the heart to tell my girlfriend, babe, I can't afford the Logan Paul $5 million Pikachu. But aren't you big enough with the WWE yet someday? Maybe we can get a ditto if Raja hit someone else. It's been great for my career. That Raja
Starting point is 00:35:00 money. Yeah, Pokemon, it makes me so sad that you missed it by such a small window, Kyle. If you were just a couple years younger, you would have been all in. I really wouldn't have. There would be like, no, No, I saw some cards at school once.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Mostly, yeah. I saw a Pokemon card at school one time. Like a kid had some sitting behind me. Maybe it was sixth grade. What, sixth grade? I think it was eighth grade. I think in eighth grade, the kid behind me in home room had some Pokemon cards. And I was like, what the fuck is that?
Starting point is 00:35:37 Because we play poker at my house. Like I knew how to play poker. And I was just like, what the fuck do you have there? What is it? I remember it was all shiny and like holographic and him trying to explain it to me and just thinking like, well, we're not going to be the gayest kid in this class. We found the bottom. Won't be friends with that guy.
Starting point is 00:35:59 The cards, you're right. I was meaning more of the games, like the Game Boy games. I don't know if you were on a Game Boy much. They didn't buy me games. Yeah, my parents wouldn't buy me games for them. I had Mario and I had Tetris. Once you got the console and it came like a game or two, there was never getting another game.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Like that didn't really happen at my house. You're like, yeah, you got the, you got the Mario. You got that one and then you got the Sonic. What more do you need? Did you have, Santi, I know you were a Pokemon guy in the 90s. Yeah. Did you have N64 Pokemon Stadium? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Yeah, yeah. No, that was a cultural game. in this household. Oh yeah. It was like I remember the excitement of it being like Friday after school in like fourth or fifth grade and it's like I've got Tim and Alex and Brendan and Travis and I've got all my buddies coming over and we're going to do a Pokemon Stadium tournament and we're going to do this and that and it was well first we'll go home and then probably shoot each other with
Starting point is 00:37:07 airsoft guns in the woods or I guess fourth fifth grade that was paintball time. I didn't know Airsoft was a thing yet. We'll do that for a while, build it, and then we'll just spend all night eating pizza, drinking soda pop and playing Pokemon Stadium. I don't, those might be some of my best gaming memories ever is. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:37:23 And 64 sleepovers with like Golden Eye. Oh my God, so good. Kyle, I am really curious, because it sounds like when you were younger, gaming wasn't like a super hyper-focused thing that you were into as a kid. It sounds like you were a pretty outdoorsy kid. I'm really curious how,
Starting point is 00:37:41 It went from that to Call of Duty. I'm kind of curious how that kind of like jump into the 360 and getting really into Cod. I got my own income. See, when Taylor was talking about Pokemon, I didn't know Pokemon existed. I don't know how he did. I didn't know that those games existed.
Starting point is 00:37:57 I don't know how he had it. I didn't know the Nintendo 64 existed until I was like in high school or something. I went to somebody's house that had one. I was like, oh, interesting. Never knew that was a thing. Like I didn't know those. People didn't talk about it at school? No.
Starting point is 00:38:10 well not to me not to me I mean amongst their friends I'm sure they and they don't mention it to me no no but then once I had like income I was like I spent my money on the thing
Starting point is 00:38:28 on the frivolous things that I'd always wanted like paintball and video games well you missed out Pokemon Gen 1 was the shit and then I see the new now I go boomer mode when I see new Pokemon where it's like they've won out of ideas
Starting point is 00:38:44 there's one of them that's just an ice cream cone that evolves into larger ice cream cones that's a Pokemon now that's not my Pokemon no not my Pokemon none of this shit is my Pokemon
Starting point is 00:38:59 I got an idea how about one we call copy and he just mimics the lies moves from a second ago that could be a thing but one of the one of my favorite laugh straightened that whole trivia bit we were doing for a while is I asked
Starting point is 00:39:14 some like Pokemon related question and Woody like made up his own Pokemon names as the answer and it was I don't remember what it was it killed me where I was like and Woody answered Scragles that is not a Pokemon but it's
Starting point is 00:39:32 enough to it's pretty good oh that was so fucking funny You're taking a shot in the dark. That's kind of like Beaconchew. Yeah. The world really does open up when you get your own income. I'm thinking to what Kyle said,
Starting point is 00:39:53 because the hoops that I had to jump through to get anything that I wanted before the age of like 17 when I got my own job were insane. I remember to get a PS3, which if you remember back in like 2006, were obscenely expensive. I had to make like a deal with my dad that I would work cleaning banks with him for eight straight months. I think I talked about my dad in a brief.
Starting point is 00:40:19 They're like three and a few dollars. Okay. So that's the thing. I worked with him for like eight months. I got my PS3. And then like seven years later, I did the math. I was like, dad, minimum wage, that was like $7,000. That was child slavery.
Starting point is 00:40:36 It was like, you didn't fucking negotiate. there was a lesson you got what you wanted so it's a fair deal yeah I remember like just going and buying an Xbox and a PlayStation and like a capture card and like eight games and like a new paintball
Starting point is 00:40:54 gun and a nitrogen tank and be like just went and bought all the things that I had always wanted once I had monies I've never done that it was real nice a nitrous tank. Nitrogen for the paintball, like,
Starting point is 00:41:11 because like white trash shoot CO2, but the cool kids had the nitrogen tanks because you had to go, you can't get those filled at the little rinky dink fields that I always shot at in the country. A CO2 tank is cheap, like the big one that used to refill the smaller ones. They're cheap.
Starting point is 00:41:27 You can rent them at an air gas place, but nitrogen thing is a whole other setup that you couldn't get. But as soon as I had money, I was like, yeah, I'm going to need $2,000 for the paintball gear since I don't play at all And I remember I got a nitrogen tank too
Starting point is 00:41:44 For my paintball gun in high school And I liked that unlike all the CO2 tanks The nitrogen tanks were like aesthetic And were like rounded off at the end And they even had these little like pockets That were grippy You could like slide over the whole thing like a sock But it was like I think the brand was dye
Starting point is 00:42:03 DY does that sound right? Yeah and that was cool. I don't know why nitrous was so desirous. Like, everyone wanted a nitrous tank. Because the CO2 gets cold and it's inconsistent with its like pop per shot. But the nitrogen just, it's not cold. It doesn't freeze everything up. And it was super consistent.
Starting point is 00:42:25 And I don't think, I don't know if you had more shots. Obviously, the nitrogen tank would be like 68 cubic inches and it'd be like 4,500 PSI. whereas a CO2 tank converting to standard but it'd be like 20 ounces and like 800 PSI because it's just a chunk of steel it's just a steel tank
Starting point is 00:42:44 but that nitrogen tank is carbon fiber wrapped steel I think it's you know and it looked cooler it's smoother it's slicker yeah the cool kids always had those I did not so as soon as I had money it was PlayStation's and nitrogen tanks when we how old were you
Starting point is 00:43:01 fucking 19 or 20 something like that okay something like that um like as soon as i started making money selling cars uh because like again growing up like i could get ATVs like if i would get a new ATV ever three or four years and i'd get like a side by side and um had multiple cars and guns and scopes and am you all the ammunition i wanted but that was stuff my dad understood and stuff my dad was into so like i could get that if i'd wanted a nice baseball bat i could have had one i never really cared enough to get like some $500 bat or anything. Were they expensive when you were young?
Starting point is 00:43:36 Baseball ball? I know they're expensive now. Yeah. I mean, there's grades to everything, right? Like, there'd be a big pile of aluminum bats that the coach would show up with in a bat and a bag that'd be all chipped up. But I wanted my own bat when I went to go play. Like, this is my bat and I wouldn't let the other kids use it except for my buddies.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Like, all right, Dave, you can use it. Mark, you can use it too. Nobody else touches my Easton, though. Better with it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a better bat. Like, there's more pop to it.
Starting point is 00:44:03 You hit the ball farther. It's lighter. It would make a better noise when the kids with expensive bats hit it. And, like, I cared about having it scratched up. So, like, when I would get a hit, I would toss it over to the grass, not toss it into the, like, the gritty gravel because it scrapes up the finish on it, which is like, I don't know, just a kid. Maybe that's not something that an adult would even give a shit about. But I did because it was by, like, $200 baseball bat. I don't want to throw it in the gravel.
Starting point is 00:44:25 So some piece of shit would borrow it. Jordan Wansley throwing my bat in the gravel. Now I'm sitting now between innings. I'm holding my bat like nobody's like I see how it is Jordan's a real son of my shit oh fuck Jordan this is the worst sweatiest kid you ever met sweaty's kid you ever met you're beating off of him like dude it's 75 out here what's wrong with you he looked like a michael jordan gatorate commercial and we weren't even doing anything that was yeah that was me as a kid and it was awful I remember I'm riding my bike home and the bully like pulls up next to me he's like look at
Starting point is 00:45:00 your upper lip your upper lip your upper lip is sweating. I'm like, gross, you're disgusting. Look at your upper lip. You're sweat on it. That's, you know, how to stop. What is the most pedantic form of bullying? Look at him. He's moist.
Starting point is 00:45:16 I'm 12. It is hurting. They said much mean or shit to me. I wish they'd made fun of my sweaty upper lip. This guy wasn't even, he didn't even say mean, mean things. He just heard, he'd be like, hi, my name's Matt Woodberg. I don't talk like why are you
Starting point is 00:45:32 what are we doing here for the last time I'm not German what's the job clearly in every fucking day it's this physical stuff as a kid that you can't control
Starting point is 00:45:47 that hurts the most so I had facial hair before most kids and like whatever Oh the horror that must have been I know No listen at in grade five it's fucking weird
Starting point is 00:45:57 grade seven and eight it's cool but like grade five I'm the fucking weirdo with a mustache so everybody's calling me and I think that was the height of like vote for Pedro so that was a fucking nightmare having to deal with Napoleon dynamite fucking getting called Pedro all the time
Starting point is 00:46:12 yeah yeah I bet that is an unsung difficulty is everybody who couldn't grow facial hair late until late always thinks it was easy early on but I remember specifically getting like paranoid and being like bullied for
Starting point is 00:46:29 having facial hair in middle school. How tough it must have been to be bigger and stronger than everyone else in school. We just didn't know we were better. You know what nobody made fun of? The chicks that got tits early. What was the early? Do you remember the first girl that got tits near school in what year it was?
Starting point is 00:46:44 Because I remember Lindsay Curran's had knockers. A big touchdown out to Lindsay. I, knockers in fifth grade. It was like, oh my fucking God. Like, I'm not talking about like. wasn't enough to even care at that point?
Starting point is 00:47:00 Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember in fifth grade. I remember in fifth grade being like, I really wanted to grab my teacher's crotch. Like, that was something that was in my head. I'm like, I wonder how much trouble I would get if I just grab that pussy. Probably a lot.
Starting point is 00:47:15 I swear to God, I remember having it. And she was like, call it 28, something like that. And she was in the process of getting married. And I was jealous of her husband. I was jealous of her husband. he would come in to tell to he was like a he was something he either had a big interest in the civil war or maybe he was also a teacher or a professor or something and he and he taught it somewhere else but he came in one day to like verse us in the civil war on a on a on a higher level than she was
Starting point is 00:47:44 capable of I guess and I was just like piece of shit he's a come back I bet he grabs her pussy all the time I was so jealous I think girls hitting puberty early is rougher than boys I I remember this girl hit puberty early in my school and everyone regarded her as fat because she had like fat on her ass, fat on her hip, she had big boot.
Starting point is 00:48:05 She had the body of like Margo Robbie. And everyone just, but compared to all the girls with the bodies of little boys, she did have more fat. Yeah, they tagging for badness. No,
Starting point is 00:48:17 that's, I mean, Lindsay wasn't skinny, but I'm telling you, these things were huge. Like my adult standards, I'm not saying that she, oh, look at her.
Starting point is 00:48:25 She's got a B cup. What a fucking freak of nature. She had big tities. She was 10. It's got to be the dairy. It's got to be the dairy or the hormones and the chicken. I don't know what we're feeding our kids these days, but these little girls, I mean, we can all understand what the press is plastic. Yeah, we had Trump, right? I can see I'm not going to be going to. I'm not going to finish that sentence. Sometimes you see a river and you decide to just not float down that one. And that's, but no, this girl, she was 12 and I think she could got served alcohol or something like she just had a woman's body that's crazy and then i remember
Starting point is 00:49:02 like uh had to be like eighth grade and and jared had hairy man legs like hairier than mine are like dark hairy like a thicket of and i remember sitting that it was summer so we all had shorts on and like looking from his leg to my leg and back again and being like this shit don't add up this can't there's something wrong about and he already had a goatee like like like Like, he already had a goatee. And by the time we hit full, full in high school, he had your beard. He had your beard trimmed short, though. And it was like, what the fuck is this shit?
Starting point is 00:49:37 Like, I didn't even have a Pedro mustache. You know what I mean? Like, I'd like knock that thing down with my dad's razor every three days. That was part of early puberty I did like is I also noticed as someone with Santi, I'm sure same boat, someone who got man legs early, like man leg hair early, like being in gym and being like, all right, at least I'm like in this race of puberty significantly ahead of most of the class in the leg game. Behold.
Starting point is 00:50:08 You should see them when they get wet. It's crazy. I remember like from like, I would like twirl them. Dude, I would like twirl them. I remember like when they were coming in. I was like this is fucking cool that I got. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:23 But I feel like it was like this like burst of. testosterone from like grade five to grade nine that made me this like super mega athlete and then everyone caught up after that but man i i remember those days that you know what do you said oh poor you this was one of the cool things about having a beard and and and being looking like a 37 year old dominican baseball player by age 12 i was good at sports purely because my motor functions had evolved to that of an adult earlier purely because of that yeah i grew up at the beach I'm six, too, Kyle. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Like, I spent more time at the beach than most people, and we'd put sun tan lotion on in the summertime. All the guys had this particular look of like sort of the white not going away instantly because they have these big hairy legs and it doesn't absorb into the hair in the same way. But me and the girls had a very different look of like what it was like to apply suntan lotion to my hairless body. And it was like, mother. my hairless bunny yeah and and i envied the leg hair but even more so the armpit hair it was like like i i just vibed feminine ideas with my hairless armpits while all the boys had like tuffs growing in they do one of these things and it's like fuck you oh you know what was worse about santi i know
Starting point is 00:51:48 you know hitting it early is like fifth sixth seventh grade having like very regular voice cracks like trying to respond in class or like talk to a girl or talk to a friend where you'd just be like in the middle of like laughing at the lunch table and you'd be like and then also do you see that mrs monk like it just like it just cracks up and you sound silly that was embarrassing yeah i always thought like like every time that would happen in class and i answered my voice cracked i'd be like oh oh all the girls hate you all the girls were going to remember this forever Yeah, it's so much worse, dealing with that at 12 than say seven fucking teen, right? That's fair.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Man, Woody keeps me winning. I got a cold and had this sort of froggy voice. There was like a group of people. Woody's voice is finally changing. Hey, everyone, check it out. He's getting his adult voice. I just have a cold. It's got to go back.
Starting point is 00:52:48 No, I'm just going to stay like this now. Man, I bring up my little problems with puberty early and then Woody just blows you out, much more real problems with late puberty. Nobody who hit puberty early was a big guy, though, like if that makes sense, like they were just big for our age. Like I remember Santavius,
Starting point is 00:53:13 it must have hit puberty early because he was a giant. I remember like my mom, again, taught special ed, so she'd be like, I'm always getting beat up, and she's like, Santavius, I need you to be Kyle's bodyguard. He's like, yes, miss my, I look at the cow for you. It's like, like John Coffey from the Green Mile. No problem.
Starting point is 00:53:31 But then by the time we got to high school, I'm like, that guy's 5'8. He hit 5'8 at like 10 and then stopped growing. But at 10, he was a monster. He was literally John Coffey walking down the hall, two people wide. But again, when we hit adulthood, when we all got to high school, and I'm like 6'2, and a lot of them, the guys are and it's like what happened to santavius he just stopped growing not my guy chris christie had a beard like taylor in eighth grade and he didn't like get a lot of attention or anything he
Starting point is 00:54:01 was kind of soft-spoken and uh for some reason the whole school and in where i went we did IQ tests this motherfucker clocks in at a 137 and i'm like this you asshole like you hip puberty at birth your IQ's 137 I don't think I can like you at all you're difficult to be friends with because you're better than me and all the things I can save some pussy for the rest of us
Starting point is 00:54:31 I remember in like middle school early high school and maybe it was just like a holdover from like girls growing up but the guys in my grade that were like the quote unquote like cool guys that like the ladies men they weren't the guys that hit puberty early like the big the one i remember specifically this guy matt little squirrely guy but he was like cool and he didn't
Starting point is 00:55:00 hit puberty and he was like still like beating him off with both hands like girls constantly and it was like at the time i guess i didn't understand like oh they like him because maybe he's not threatening maybe like because he's like the youngest of all you know sometimes the youngest kids are really cool because they've gotten transitive exposure to like older modes of like socializing and stuff. But in my head I just always remember thinking like oh man I'm so jealous of that
Starting point is 00:55:26 guy. He's a head shorter than me and tiny. He wears big even thicker glasses than me but he's getting so much attention from the cute girls and I can't get any attention from them. Preaching to the choir I hated that shit and I didn't realize
Starting point is 00:55:42 like now as an adult I realized like why did I want to be this for foot nine little bitch by the way there's my my guy's also named matt mat matthew uh and he just he's still like five foot one that little bitch did not grow up at all but i remember being so jealous that he had all of the features that all of the girls at that age like and i i thought it was like a hockey thing so i even tried to grow out like the helmet hair you know the what i'm talking about but i just i just looked like i had a fucking afro i could not grow that to save my life I should find a picture of it.
Starting point is 00:56:17 I looked terrible with it. I had that too. But I couldn't wrap my head around why this little bitch boy that's 50 pounds soaking wet got all the attention of the of the girls back in the day over me. That's when I saw right through. Not saying I got the girls attention, but there was a dude in my high school. He was super effeminate. He might have been gay. I remember when he knocked it out of the park at the high school talent show singing, why must I be a team?
Starting point is 00:56:46 teenager in love like like a girl it just it was this high-pitched whatever he'd have been gay and he was friend zoned by like every girl in the class and I'm like yeah I don't envy that he can have that all he wants I'd rather have guy friends oh yeah did you know she that they okay so it sounds like at the time you knew that he was friend zoned oh it okay okay it was obvious to me anyway yeah yeah maybe in my situation I maybe he was friend zone too but like in my eyes I was like this guy's getting all the pussy this is in fair I didn't see it that way yeah yeah I do remember a guy who got like all sorts of girl attention and he was he was just cute he was cute he was available he had game he wasn't athletic he didn't like he wasn't special other than his ability to chat up girls and I remember my best friend, the guy I'm talking about fucked his girlfriend before he was my best friend's girlfriend and he hated that about him.
Starting point is 00:57:55 He wanted to beat him up for something that happened before he even met his girlfriend. It is in, you know, we're talking about the child version of all of this, but it is genuinely impressive when you can, when you meet somebody. And I know, like from my personal experience, an incredibly good looking man when I was University and seeing it now as an adult in my early 20s, seeing this man being a magnet of women at that age. Now, as I'm seeing it play out in person, that to me, it's like that's, that's actually impressive. Now looking back at Matthew, he's a little bit. He didn't actually get anything. But now as an adult seeing this genuinely like God of a man, it's like,
Starting point is 00:58:38 all right, but no longer am I jealous, Woody. Now I see like, good for you, dude. This is impressive. And I, and I, I, I don't envy. I respect more than anything now. I think I can do both. What's the idea, like, like, what would be your ideal body? Like, is there a guy that you look at maybe even in the WWE? We're like, ah, that's a 10 out of 10. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:05 If you want to pull it up, Zach, there is a guy named Drew McIntyre who is a, I think it's achievable. There might be some, you know, a little bit of help. there, but I'm not opposed to jumping on something to get there. But he, he isn't this like, you know, 5% body fat. He's just like a beast burly man with some chest hair. And I'm like, that's, that's something that I want to strive for. So you're picking a body that you could possibly have. Yes. Yeah. I don't want to be unrealistic about it. I, I prefer unrealistic. Yeah, that's super achievable what he's got going on there. Yeah. Yeah, you could do that.
Starting point is 00:59:45 That, to me, is like what I want to achieve. All right. He's got some good genetics, too. His chest is pretty wacky. Yeah, yeah. He's either got a pump or he just is a god amongst men. Yeah, he's got great genetics. Oh, they all have pumps when they come out.
Starting point is 01:00:03 They all have a little gym bag right before they make their entrances. But that to me, that's my ideal body type. I'm 6.2. Right now, I'm in a cut. I'm 220. That guy, he's like 260. I think I'd want a bigger dick than that guy. I think all the blood is elsewhere, Woody.
Starting point is 01:00:22 That's all. All the blood went to his fucking neck. I always keep a little in it just for show. Who is this? We were talking about like an ideal body type in the WWE for him because we were talking about sort of, you know, who you'd want to look like or what's a town of? Yeah, Taylor, can you name someone whose body you'd want to have?
Starting point is 01:00:44 instead of your own. Chris Hemsworth from Thor 1. No, the mountain. I'd want to go crazy. Fuck out of here, you freeze it. I may as well if I want to have to take shits in bathtubs. Yeah, that would be a horrible thing to have to start doing. The mountain, how old is the mountain?
Starting point is 01:01:06 I thought he was, uh, 45? Kyle's, I thought he was young. No, he's young. I think he's like a 1990. the 1990s baby like if we're talking about the recast of the mountain the one that kills Prince Obrin Martel
Starting point is 01:01:22 he's a 90s baby I'm pretty sure I think he'll be dead in 20 years dude do you know how gigantic you have to be to look like that and still have like bicep veins that's crazy have you guys see his wife that would be awesome and I also like
Starting point is 01:01:37 yeah he's gonna tear her in half any day he's got a respectable trustworthy moon face You know, this is the I guess I get a little bit as much past 56. Really? Why not? I would say a lifetime of overdoing it on the steroids
Starting point is 01:01:54 and just being ginormous. Rick Flair is like 80 or something. Huge people don't usually stick around as long. Actually, there's not really tall basketball players. He's not one of those lanky basketball players. Like that guy, I don't know. I guess time will tell. We'll check back in 20 years.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He's like breaking records for like a crazy tall guy not dying, but that could also do with the fact that he's like Great. He's like stick skinny like just a like a slenderman body and I think he I thought he last time I saw him he was like super super skinny and that probably contributes to longevity He walk with a cane now too maybe probably that makes of those giant guys do. Yeah Good. You don't want somebody like that to just win their whole life. You know they need to taste a little defeat there toward the end did you see the uh that texas uh i thought she was a missouri politician but it but it says texas the chick who um burnt the koran with a flamethrower i'm so stick of that annoying retard she's she's got it she's got that like i am as american as apple pie
Starting point is 01:03:02 and i'm like spray fire on the koran because that's totally fucking relevant right now yeah actually i've never unmuted her video i don't know what she sounds like like she's always doing this like doing outrageous stuff to to drum up attention again i thought she was a missouri candidate she's the one who was like she like she had like a mannequin tied up and she like executes it with a pistol and she's like that is what happens to pedophiles this is what we do to pedophiles where i am from hello i am valentina gomez my family has lived in missouri for nine months and I am ready to represent you. Yeah, I thought she was, if she was also a Missouri lady, my guess is she's just kind of, you know, darts at a dart board.
Starting point is 01:03:53 All right, I'll run in in Texas. All right, I'll run in Missouri. I'll try it here, here, try it there. She's pulling Hillary Clinton, just going where their seats open, maybe? No, because Hillary Clinton is like smart and calculating. And this lady seems. Yeah. What are we doing?
Starting point is 01:04:10 I told a fish was Fisher our Muslim friend was obviously I'm a little offended by Seeing his holy book burnt by that crazy lady And he posted something He's like I bet if I just imagine what would happen if I burnt The Talmud or the Torah like that And I'm like dude
Starting point is 01:04:27 You couldn't burn a Seinfeld DVD They'd come lock your ass up immediately That's so funny That's the direction he immediately goes Well what if I burn the fucking Talmud It's like, all right, fish, can you please just guess one of the words? Please. I lose it up there for a while.
Starting point is 01:04:49 She's from Columbia and she moved to America in 2009. I thought she's one of me. I assume she's a citizen, but I'm not positive. Yeah, she's running for public office. Yeah, she's got to be very pretty. Do you have to be a citizen to do that? You hope so. That's a tremendous oversight of work.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Vladimir Putin, the new governor of Maryland. No, I have always roved Wisconsin. I know that there's like tears and levels. Like you have to be obviously a citizen to, sorry, you have to be born in the United States to be president, but you, not every citizen can be president. Yeah, the Schwarzenegger's governor of California, but he can't be president. I looked it up. You need to be a citizen for seven years to run for office.
Starting point is 01:05:46 Fair? Okay. It seems that almost seems pretty lenient. I like it lenient. Let the voters pick who they want to pick. If the best talent in the world's only been here for seven years, you shouldn't disqualify them and look down the list. That's my take on it.
Starting point is 01:06:03 Let the voters choose. I would agree if like our politicians were fucking killing it. But they're terrible. And so like that's why we got a lot broader, more broadly, right? Maybe there's some, maybe there's a Haitian you've overlooked Taylor. Maybe one of those Chinese guys, maybe one of those Chinese business magnates who like somehow now owns half in Nebraska could come in and be a politician. We could do that. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Like letting, letting Chinese like is that happening oligarchs buy a bunch of land? Yeah, that's been like criticized for a while. I don't know. Trump signed that executive order a while back about... It wouldn't let us do that shit in China. Of course not. Well, Trump signed that thing disallowing the purchase of the land that was within X distance of military bases because they were buying like large swaths of land near Air Force bases.
Starting point is 01:06:57 That's one of those things where like they'll say like Trump looking to make it illegal for Chinese oligarchs and business magnates to buy up all the land surrounding the military bases and it's like wait that was we're fixing that right now that feels like something you see I think they're trying to fix it now because we fixed it in Canada so I think they're now buying up as much American land as possible because that was a problem here like that started like 10 years ago where every single house every single plot of land was being bought by some Chinese family or company with a with a shell version of itself in Canada.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Now, have you guys noticed, like with the housing prices in the United States, have they recently started going up since Canada started deporting Indians and preventing as much immigration as there once was? Because our prices are starting to plummet. Oh, that's great. Yeah, they're starting to plummet. You can't, like, people are trying to sell their houses and cannot find a buyer. That's another problem because most.
Starting point is 01:08:07 of the buyers were a lot of these foreigners, has there been the inverse effect over there now? I don't think it's hit us fully yet, because my friends who are like looking for houses. Inflation is outpasting anything like that, I'm sure, and keeping things either stable or the other way around. And also the continued drama around interest rates and the Fed. And there's a lot going on there that's sort of like boring Washington stuff. But Trump's taken over. Trump, like, whoever, either trumps the super genius or he employs them, because it seems like he knows where to go to it, to influence his power. I didn't know that the Fed had governors.
Starting point is 01:08:47 I'd never heard of that position before. I didn't know it existed. And do you fire that lady or force that lady to resign or something like that? Yeah, so he, he, like, can't fire her except for cause. And apparently she had two home loans where she claimed they were both her primary residence and he fired her for that, which is, I don't know. Who said it? You show me the person. I'll find the crime. That was Joseph Stalin. Is it true? Is that true? Yeah. I believe I'm almost positive at Stalin. Okay. Okay. At least I now believe you're saying that in good faith.
Starting point is 01:09:23 And I'm like, pull me into Biden. But that was my take on that. So she is going to sue or is denying being fired? I don't know if she can do that. So Trump doesn't have the authority to fire her just like she's not an at-will employee it has to be for cause and now she's debating the cause we'll see where it goes that's very funny to deny being fired nah uh like just you just show up at work again
Starting point is 01:09:49 you're basically she's pulling a stance of shit that's the whole sidefold episode what that stuff I was joking yeah I don't know what she's up to but you know the Fed seems to be a little boarding on corrupt so maybe maybe they need to shake up you think i'm on the other side of
Starting point is 01:10:09 it i felt like it was always independent and acted on behalf of the u.s economy not like anything else because it would always be popular to lower interest rates if it was corrupt they'd just lower it and raise inflation but that's why they're not lowering rates because it would raise inflation would raise prices as you increase the money splice by the man we all get it and uh so they're like Let's move slowly on this. It's not, you know, like we've got two sides of it. We're worried that the tariffs are going to slow the economy down, and we've seen that to some extent.
Starting point is 01:10:41 And we're worried that lowering rates are going to raise prices and just take our time before we pull a trigger. I would like it more if they had a different name. The Fed? Yeah, the Fed. That's tricky. They're tricking us to think it's some government shit. The Reserve.
Starting point is 01:11:00 I like that better. They almost like Netflixify. their logo in that or they crack or barrel eyes and they go down to the logo I'm imagining like Yellowstone but you know what I mean like like wildlife greenery some flora and fauna
Starting point is 01:11:15 the reserve ruining the economy since 1967 yeah that could work because I mean Monsanto did that they had like a leaf on their logo and meanwhile they're like we made a special corn that gives you AIDS if you try and replant it
Starting point is 01:11:30 oh fuck The farmers really don't like this new corn. So if I get cancer, it'll be because of the roundup. Like, I used to just, we didn't know that was bad for you. I would be spraying that stuff with a big, the sprayer. It'd be going all over me, like all the time. I mean, I'd be, I mean, I'd be like, oh, got a little roundup on me, no big deal. I mean, it's clear, right?
Starting point is 01:11:54 Can't be anything good bad in there. If I ever get cancer, as if he hasn't had it already. Yeah, that was that Monsanto cancer in my eye. Patent pending. Them and DuPont, like just evil incarnate, the forever chemicals and all that stuff, but Monsanto,
Starting point is 01:12:16 the stuff they do with the corn seed, and it's probably other types of seed, too, where they patent their seeds, and you have to buy that seed from it. And the deal is that the seeds that Monsanto make, Roundup doesn't kill them. Roundup kills everything. It might as well be nuclear hellfire to weeds.
Starting point is 01:12:33 but it kills regular corn too but it doesn't kill Monsanto corn so you're able to plant your field slap full of Monsanto corn bathe the entire area in poison and the corn just gets bigger and stronger and all the other stuff dies. So pick one. I want to do all four. I'll vote for Nestle, although I'm mostly educated on
Starting point is 01:12:51 Isn't that just slave labor? Isn't that the faux pa? I thought it had something to do with them like thinking people don't need water unless they buy it from Nestle. You're right. Not us people. Who's your most evil company? The most evil effort, it would probably have to, you just have to go to the top of the ladder and say like Black Rock, right?
Starting point is 01:13:09 The investment firm. Yeah, because they manipulate so many other firms because they, yeah, well, that's what I'm saying is like, you can almost cheat that answer and be like, oh, well, BlackRock because the reason that this corporation does stuff that's like stupid and nonsensical is because they're a controlling shareholder and they lean on them to do things and even the C suite of this company is like, I don't know about this, but we kind of have to do what they want to do here. And then they also buy up all our, or isn't their subsidiary, like Blackstone that's like their real estate subsection of the company and they buy up lots of houses and land, driving up the price for Americans, but, you know, planning on using it as like rental properties. They just seem like an easy evil company in Black Rock. Okay. It's even got an ominous name. Kyle, who's your most evil company, Monsanto? You can stick with that one?
Starting point is 01:13:59 I think DuPont. I think DuPont has this. like decades and decades record of creating super poisons and contaminating water supplies around the world and destroying environments and also I think some stuff that was hazardous for the
Starting point is 01:14:14 ozone layer. I don't think Frion was one of their inventions or one of their things but I think DuPont. I watched some documentary a while back and it's like DuPont and the man who poisoned Earth or something like that. It was like, oh shit.
Starting point is 01:14:31 That guy's a doer. Yeah, I mean, he didn't know it. I think he was just, he was making those miracle chemicals back then. Just like asbestos used to be seen as like this fix-all until we realized it just caused mesothelioma and all sorts of cancers and maladies and people. So I would go with DuPonti. You got a evil company? I mean, my whole life, the answer has always been Monsanto, but out of curiosity, I looked it up. Like, what are people saying? And I guess it depends on if you are talking about now or of all time, if you want to talk about the goats of goats.
Starting point is 01:15:02 It's the British East India Company. They did some really fucked up shit throughout the, what, like 400 years that they oppressed governments and people to just line their pocket. That's a... They had their own army. They did.
Starting point is 01:15:16 It's kind of sick. A lot of corruption there, but having your own army, can you imagine if, like, Lockheed Martin had their own army? That would be... I think a lot of those companies do. Well, they hire NPCs. Whenever, like, an oil company,
Starting point is 01:15:32 or water companies moving into one of these poor nations, they'll hire private military, not NPCs, they'll hire private military. I was like, does that have another meaning? PMCs is what I meant. And those areas. And they essentially do have their own little armies that they can go in and they'll call it security forces
Starting point is 01:15:53 to make sure that the dig site goes through. But they got ex-military guys who are killing people on the ground in those poor countries. Sometimes it's not even PMCs. Sometimes they just hire the local guerrilla group. All right, we need to get rid of all of the natives that are living in this land so that we can drill for the next 25 years and then exterminate all of the natives of that land. Very evil empire. The military contractor, if you've been confused for 30 seconds.
Starting point is 01:16:22 Like Blackwater, right? Yeah, which is no longer a thing. It changed its name. And then I think the thing they changed their name to maybe got dissolved as well. They got in a lot of trouble. They rebranded to like a name of like a diet tea, like uplift or something. Like the thing changed in such a weird way. And it's like, no, come on.
Starting point is 01:16:42 If you're going to be hardcore paramilitary guys, you know, fighting for the highest bidder, have a cool name. Blackwater is a cool name. Those guys were hardcore. I watched this Blackwater guy on a rooftop killing Iraqis one time from far away. Just just sniping all day with a semi-auto. One of my close friends' dads was. in black that was his job when we were in high school it was like what does your dad do and he's like oh well my stepdad does whatever but my real dad uh he's been in black rock for like 18 years
Starting point is 01:17:13 and so i don't see him that much and it's like black water or black water sorry and it's like oh so what's he doing and he's like a lot of stuff in the middle east he doesn't really talk about it and he just was apparently he has a litany of substance abuse problems and a couple of them got like got killed in Iraq and maybe they burned the bodies and hung them from a bridge or something like that like they got ambushed in Iraq got fucked up one group of them yeah wait whose bodies were burnt the Americans from Blackwater oh okay I misunderstood this is relevant how much do you guys know about Game of Thrones like that world an enormous enough to be furious at how it ended yeah okay fair enough uh there is a PMC in the in the world of Game of Thrones called the golden
Starting point is 01:17:56 company and their whole stick is that if you hire them it doesn't matter if somebody comes in and offers more they stick by you their word is golden that is how they keep their reputation they'll never turn sides they're never turn cloak i'm curious how like in today's landscape of pmc's if that is a valuable asset to have right like i want to hire a pmc company that isn't just all of a sudden going to take more money to fight for the other side and if i'm like the like the leader of the PMC company from like a business side I think it might make sense to stick with the word of like the original agreed upon contracts so that you know other dictators want to hire me for sure they see me as like a trustworthy military to exterminate whatever problem
Starting point is 01:18:42 they have yeah see most of the conflicts that they're hired for and the situations that they're hired for aren't like binary situations anyway it's not like like like they wouldn't be hired for example by Somali pirates it's like yeah we don't work for Somali Pirates. We work for multi, multi, global multinational shipping lane companies. We're a legal organization, not like bandits and
Starting point is 01:19:06 thieves. So I think that most of the, or they work for a government, the way you see Wagner or Wagner, which I don't even know if it's still a thing after Vizolni or whatever got taken out by Putin. Oh, they dissolved?
Starting point is 01:19:22 Allegedly. Putin killed him. They tried rebel against Russia about a year ago, they turned their tanks around and started heading toward Moscow. I knew that part of the tale. I just usually, that's like a next man up kind of thing where they're like, all right, Putin got rid of that guy, and now he's got like
Starting point is 01:19:37 a well-behaved little PMC. Did he die in like a mysterious plane crash? Indeed. Indeed. His plane fell off a building. His plane fell off a balcony. It was drinking too much. And the plane fell, yeah, he got shot down by Putin and taken out
Starting point is 01:19:53 because he was talking too much smack. Plus, he was getting big on social media like he would always be standing there in his military gear looking like a Tarkov boss character like we are here in eastern Ukraine soon to be western Russia and like just talking mad shit
Starting point is 01:20:09 and like he was getting he was doing well on social media he was getting more popular than Putin seemingly because he would he'd be like our guys don't have this our guys don't have that this is bullshit don't don't you know because Putin would give him shit because the advances hadn't been made and he's like we don't have food we don't have food what do you do
Starting point is 01:20:25 like he was shining a light on some of the corruption and the supply chain issues they were having making them look bad. So yeah, they killed that guy. Yeah, well, there's an example of a turn cloak PMC, right? I suppose so. Yeah. I suppose so. But it's not like he took Ukrainian money
Starting point is 01:20:41 and like exactly. He just like was fed up with being fed shit by his employer. God, what a terrible decision that man made. Yeah. That was a bad move. I would have been like I would have been smarter and been like you know what after this whole kerfuffle
Starting point is 01:20:57 I'm never working for this guy again but I'm also not a total retard and I know this guy plays for real I'm gonna keep driving the fucking tanks to the whatever fucking road he's telling me to guard it's not an exaggeration they're gonna kill my nieces and nephews
Starting point is 01:21:12 it's not an exaggeration to say that every month someone who has given Putin a hard time falls out of a window or eats a pistol like every month it happens I read about it every single month a different guy of course people that we've never heard of, but it'll be like, ah, noted Putin critic, blah, blah, blah, fell off the eighth story of the what's, what you might call it building. It's like,
Starting point is 01:21:34 I don't think they're falling. You could have been clumsy. It could be a series. It could be a series of unfortunate events. Yeah, fucking like, that's, that's whenever, like, there's a lot wrong with the Trump administration, but at least he's not whacking people, you know? At least you're not hearing about people get thrown off of buildings or anything like that. That's when we know we, we Maybe we need a little more whacking so that, like, Putin and Xi Jinping don't think that, like, they're the, you know, the cool guys at the table who get to, like, whack a lot. Like, maybe we should be a little more intense. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:22:09 We should, uh, we should be whacking our foreign enemies. Trump keeps saying the D word. He keeps talking about being a dictator. He's like, some people say I should be a dictator. I don't like dictators. But some people say, maybe it's worth having a dictator. if it solves these problems. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:22:26 And it's like, stop saying that. Anyway, this is all just a good way for me to say, I'm signing another bill that boycotting Israel is illegal everywhere federally now, and that's important. Like, that's the kind of shit he's actually. Yeah, literally the, I mean, the BDS laws were already on the books in like almost every red state and many blue states prior to even the past couple administrations.
Starting point is 01:22:49 But like, that seems to be as like attack on speech vector now is like, dude we're going to have to vote for one of those Omar like headdress wearing dark skin Somali politicians to get our due I think I'm going to vote for a Somali who's like going out on the street and like you listen to that like Somali
Starting point is 01:23:08 mayoral candidate and he's talking he's like a very important thing about being a mayor in Minnesota is prioritizing more Somalis to come here and it's like what the fuck that doesn't really have anything to do with being the mayor in Minnesota, in Minneapolis.
Starting point is 01:23:25 There's only like 300,000 Somalis in the country. It's not even that big of it. All of them that I've met, really nice guys. The one, two that I met. Yeah, Muhammad and what was the other one's name? Muhammad, probably. Moses.
Starting point is 01:23:42 Muhammad and Moses. Wow, both sides of the coin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Moses was more freewheeling. He was getting pussy. He was doing a little nose candy. And Muhammad, though, had like 85,000 children or something like that each looked like a carbon copy of him they all
Starting point is 01:23:59 look like they were about to let somebody know who the captain was now yeah and uh and and just real funny nice hardworking people very distinct head shape in the somali community oh yeah yeah yeah you can pick up same with it same with Nigerians like like like you see a Nigerian head yeah they got a big blocky head like a powerful head like they did dude Nigerian head budded you you crack like an egg yeah maybe not me but like an average person I'm letting you know This is like My Nigerian body was like
Starting point is 01:24:28 Legit 6-4-240 Like Austin was his name I couldn't have been his real name But he called pussy cuckoo He's like last night I get a lot of cuckoo And he was talking about this He's like I get the pillow And I wrap it around their waist
Starting point is 01:24:46 And I grab either side And the cuckoo tried to run away But just know where to go from Austin Damn, talking about your stuff in that tense. Yeah. Okay, well, see, now you've sold me. I would never vote for one of those Somali guys coming over here. But that Nigerian guy you just brought up, I think I would pick him because, you know, he seems to, if he treats our country as seriously as he treats the puku.
Starting point is 01:25:10 The cuckoo. I think we're in good hands. So I'd be, I'm just saying you go for the Nigerian because they're not, their natural enemy is the Israeli. Is it? I just think that they're the only ones who are going to, they're Muslims. Nigeria is a mostly Christian. Well, Nigeria is, but I'm still talking about the, the, the, uh, the, uh, the, the, um, the Somalis.
Starting point is 01:25:32 Fucking, la, la, la, la, la, with RPGs. What the, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not Poca Haram, no, the official, uh, the official Cola, Cocoa Haram, Wolf Cola. No, I think those, that's the only group that, you know, has any political power that, uh, that Omar lady and a couple of those, what the squad? We're going to have to vote for the squad, Taylor, if we want to get some representation that isn't Jewish-backed.
Starting point is 01:25:59 I mean, Israeli-backed. Exactly. Excellent clarification there. There's a difference. It's a big difference. I'm not anti-semitic. I think I'll just go to not... I have Jewish friends. I love them. I'll go back to not voting.
Starting point is 01:26:14 That'll just be the solution. It's just now. Fuck it. These people are all horrible. I mean, you know, your vote. doesn't matter anyway. Nobody should vote. No. You know, and eventually we'll get through this silly little democracy experiment, and then we'll go back to Kings.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Would you like a monarchy? Only if I totally agreed with them. Otherwise, it could be a disaster for me. No shit. I know, that's kind of the rub, isn't it? But then there is, and I've mentioned this before, the one really strong benefit of a monarchy over other forms of governance is like,
Starting point is 01:26:50 If shit gets totally fucked up in 1,200s, France, everyone's like, who is to blame for this and these problems being facing us? And they're like, well, it is King Louis. He is the guy at the very top. We should probably go through a tantrum and see if we can get them out. Like, there was somebody to put it on. In other systems, it's like, and you know who the next guy is going to be. You know, usually there's an air and he's being groomed up.
Starting point is 01:27:18 But we're saying, Woody, like, we're going to get rid of this whole. democracy thing. It didn't work out. What's your... We're going to kings. King's mode. So where do you want to go? What other political system do you want to live under? What do you want to make America into? Taylor, I think, is leaning pretty hard monarchy. I'm thinking full republic.
Starting point is 01:27:34 I have to pick the king. If I can't pick the king, then it could be a terrible disaster. You cannot pick the king. Then I don't know if I like the idea. He will win. The king is the one who beats all the other pretenders to the throne. There'll be some sort of civil war battle type thing. there's just no good form of government
Starting point is 01:27:52 once you need a critical mass of a number of people. Your king would be DeSantis probably. He's probably the one who went or Rick Scott in that chair. Like it'd be somebody like that. No, I wouldn't, we would not have a crippled king and uh, DeSantis in his fucking lifts. No, that guy is anything but kingly.
Starting point is 01:28:09 I think full republic. I don't know who a good thing we have. I think the citizens should vote on almost everything. Like like you should, you should, there should be like it almost there. You know, they'll have like a proposition in your local area. Like, ah, vote yes on Prop 40. We're going to, we're going to expand the park. It's like, oh, I like that. Everybody gets a little say in this, not just some little bureaucrat.
Starting point is 01:28:29 That's a pure democracy, not a represented democracy. Right, where voters choose everything. That's not a, a republic would be with representatives. Yeah, yeah. Okay, then I'm, then pure democracy is going. Oh, I'm going the other way. I want to take it completely out of the hands of the bureaucrats. It's all based on honor and who can win the fist fight.
Starting point is 01:28:49 that's how our leaders are decided clings seems like in action it's a clingons would bring out a bat lift or a katang Woody is just agreeing with my martial archie pumped yeah you know and also I do agree
Starting point is 01:29:04 the monarchy should be the guy should be tough he should be big and strong and able to intimidate like if we had a barathean Robert if we had a barathean type imagine instead of like Trump or Biden or whoever going to face Putin
Starting point is 01:29:17 you've got a guy who looks like Raja. Jackson. And he's wearing, you've got Raja Jackson. He shows up in his gray suit. But like everybody slams Putin right away. He shows up in an orange jumpsuit. All the all the monarchs in history are dainty little pussies, though, because they've all been interbred for the past like 15 generation. So if we want to keep the bloodline pure for the next line, we have a problem. I think at this point we need to bring scientists in. We can't just allow regular procreation. I think we need a scientifically created perfect monarch at this point. An Uber man.
Starting point is 01:29:58 That's an... Why has no one ever thought of this before? We could create an Uber man. A master group. A master group. A master... Come on, something. We'd have like a Superman that we would
Starting point is 01:30:19 create from the best of us. We'd have to get rid of a lot of people, though, don't you think? And we would have special rules so there wouldn't be inbreeding this time. This was your... There would be... No Habsburg shit. No Habsburg jaw. None of that. We start noticing some ugly monarchs. We go, you guys have hit the
Starting point is 01:30:37 expiry date. You're out. We're going back to attract... We want, like, the John Sina looking down. Ooh, John Sina. I think you and I are mostly on the same page, wouldn't? what about like in a i'm going a little bit fictional here in a world where there are superheroes mutants whatever it might be would you be okay taylor i know that uh you hate foreigners would you be okay with a foreigner from outer space a superman from krypton who is you know draped in the american flag being our president i am because that guy seems pretty tight
Starting point is 01:31:11 no fuck that look look i 100% side with lex luther and most of the comics. Like some of the comics, he's just jelly. Isn't he the bad guy? Yes. Well, it, freedom fighter or terrorist. Depends where you're standing, right? It's all about perspective. What is his motivation? I've never watched a superhero movie. Is it jealousy or what? Depends on the comic, but consider this.
Starting point is 01:31:30 Before a god from another planet showed up, he was the smartest, richest, and like most, one of the more physically fit humans on the planet. Luthor bitch is like 550, like raw. Luthor is a bad motherfucker. And he's like a super genius. And he's
Starting point is 01:31:46 a trillionaire. And then all of a sudden, here comes the son of Krypton, who everyone like fawns over and just immediately trust. He's a walking hydrogen bomb with feelings, that gets upset and angry and cries and has emotional outbursts. The idea that you don't have a check and a balance against Calell is insane. If he can't, if this happened in our reality, every major politician, Xi and fucking Putin and Trump would be in a room like we got to come up with some kind of a krypton cannon. Like we need kryptonite canons. We need kryptonite fucking death rays.
Starting point is 01:32:23 We got to do something about this. A god came from another planet. And he's like bullying us and pushing us around and doing what he wants. He's flying across international. G's problem because he's leading America, which means we have Superman. We've got this guy. Well, that's an interesting. That's one of the best Superman comics ever.
Starting point is 01:32:42 It's justice. no the red it's like red uh oh where he's a soviet he's a soviet so we have you have superman crash land in stalin's soviet russia and uh and he ends up like working under stalin but he's still pure of heart um he's it's just he's soviet superman of course it creates this huge imbalance where the west is like they have a god there's a fucking communist god over there and i think at the end of the comic, it comes down to the whole world has turned communist except for America, who have
Starting point is 01:33:16 like thrown up the fucking shields and the walls and Superman has to decide whether he's going to force America to be communists. Because his idea was always that like, they'll see the light. They'll see that our way is best. We don't force them to do and of course Stalin is always the
Starting point is 01:33:32 devil on his shoulder. And then Stalin dies and they want Superman to be the leader of the Soviet union. And it's a whole, it's a very Superman's story. But all I'm saying is that Luther is only the bad guy because Superman is the main character of the book. If Luther
Starting point is 01:33:48 was the main character of the book, or if you were Luther, you would 100% understand his point of view. Now, in some of the comics, they just make him like jelly. Yeah, sometimes he's a little too twirly mustache bad guy, but for the most part, he's actually like weirdly relatable, even though he's a
Starting point is 01:34:04 quadrillionaire. Yeah, the voice of reason because it's like, whoa. Sounds like he could make a good king if it's not one of the issues where he's a mean guy. He becomes president in many of the issues. How about this? Superman is here, or a Superman, because I guess anyone from Krypton can be Superman with our son, right?
Starting point is 01:34:22 And he's going to take charge, but he's a dwarf. Fuck. Because that says to me. Sausage fingers? Yes. Does he have the little voice? He has a little voice. People of earth, hear me.
Starting point is 01:34:37 He's like a little or d. Does he have the bad? hips. So, like, when he's got, he's got, uh, that dwarf hip dysplasia, like old labs get. Yeah. Yeah. So he like lips up to the stage. I'd be like, I can't respect this guy. I don't even care that he flies. He's tiny. Dude. Yeah, I wouldn't like that at all. I, um, I think if I were Superman, I would try to rule the world, but I would want to be, I wouldn't want to create like a world war. I would want my own country.
Starting point is 01:35:06 I would need my, like a Superman style Vatican so that I could be. fair and impartial to the whole world. You'd probably use the Vatican. The Pope couldn't kick you out. I would just take the Vatican. It would look awesome. I don't think, I think there's like a billion people
Starting point is 01:35:20 that are going to hate me if I take the Vatican away from the Pope. I'm going to show them all the rare bones. And I'm going to the Holy Prep Use. Yeah, I'm going to dig that Holy Prep Use out. Every little bit. But you're right.
Starting point is 01:35:31 That would be, I can't imagine the Holy Prep Use. I'm familiar with Prep Use. You do it before sex shows to avoid HIV. Exactly. Little Prep Use. That's PrEP. I see a lot of commercials for that on sports now for some reason.
Starting point is 01:35:43 Like, there's a bunch of gay guys watching in the NFL. We have billboards for it here. It's like, don't get AIDS in your ass. Take prep. I told you. I knew what I was talking about. It's one of those moving billboards, too. So it's awful to look at.
Starting point is 01:35:58 Remember the old moving billboards where it was physical turning of those little triangles and it would flip into the new picture? I always liked those because you could always identify like, oh, that one's kind of broken. No, the Holy Prepuse, for those who don't know, is Jesus Christ's foreskin. And there's varying accounts on whether it rose to heaven when he rose to heaven after his resurrection, or many Catholics believe, and several popes have claimed to be in possession of the Holy Prepuse.
Starting point is 01:36:30 And I read the other day that it is supposedly held in the Vatican archives, along with, um they they uh they uncovered some church uh that had supposedly the the original cross that jesus was crucified on there were three crosses and they took the one in the middle and apparently they have the part in the and the vatican archives that says like jesus of nazareth king of the hebrews or something on some plaque or something like that they claimed to have had that and they said that of course part of the legend was they brought a sick woman in and they exposed her to each of the three crosses to figure out which one was the good one and she was healed by the cross of Christ.
Starting point is 01:37:09 That's pretty cool. I mean, if they had something like that, which if there was a church that had that, it would be the Catholics. They have been around since then. But like, why wouldn't you, like, that seems like a big seller. Like, that shouldn't be in a basement somewhere. You should be like, hey, boys, right next to this guy's fucking holy bones and this crazy, elaborate building we're in is the cross. Like, you would put that out to show. And that's, that's a tip of Jesus this dick right there. You won't sniff it? Some Pope was using it as a bookmark you know, 600 years ago.
Starting point is 01:37:42 One of the Pope's grounded in the pattern. They should be keeping it in a hospital to cure all the sick people. Well, it's got like a sort of a recharge. You got to recharge the man on it. The amount of stories that I heard like from when
Starting point is 01:37:59 I was a kid, I was born hardcore Catholic. Like I was an altar kid. Never molested. Just to clarify. I always have to tell people that. Yeah, yeah, of like people traveling. Because you looked old. Yeah. They didn't want your hairy ass. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:13 You know, I have stories that I heard of people traveling like hundreds of miles to see a holy chip because the Virgin Mary has appeared on a Pringle's chip. Like a dime a dozen weirdly in Latin America. Oh, they can't get it. That only happens in Latin America. They're addicted to it. They're addicted to the Virgin Mary appearing. in like a pancake that
Starting point is 01:38:37 they just made for breakfast. And now that's curing things. I mean, whatever works. Whatever works. You may think this is because I'm bad at cooking pancakes, but it's actually the Lord. Isn't there, aren't they also hiding the
Starting point is 01:38:55 existing bloodline of Jesus Christ? Like the direct descendants? Wait, is that her? Or the it's her, right? No, and the chip, that's the Virgin Mary. Oh, are you telling me that's not a self-portrait? That is the Virgin Mary. I see it.
Starting point is 01:39:13 It looks more like a flapper girl. I see the boomer. It does like a flapper girl. Yeah, like that hair, that kind of like 20s look. What is this? What kind of chip is this? That looks like a tortilla. I think it's a tortilla.
Starting point is 01:39:27 I think it's a tortilla. Oh, it's just they pour it all up. Listen, at this point, I don't even blame these people because I'm pretty sure there was a Cheeto that looked like a Charzar. that sold for like $100,000 good for them dude some guy woke up the next morning like what did I buy he ate it
Starting point is 01:39:50 somebody need to work on that lady's makeup that was rough was black lipstick I thought she was trying to look like the chip she's like I got something going here tomorrow I'm breaking out the black lipstick I don't think that's I don't think you should be buying chips
Starting point is 01:40:08 because I've also seen Elvis Presley chips being sold or people are like this looks exactly like Elvis Presley and then someone buys it for eight grand that's crazy I kind of just put together telling everyone they're wrong about facial recognition so maybe this isn't the area I should stand that would be a fun game to set up
Starting point is 01:40:27 this link does this Cheeto does look remarkably like a Charzard That's $87,000 is what that Cheeto sold for How was that one piece? That's a That's the craziest Cheeto shape
Starting point is 01:40:42 I've ever seen Can we see it, Zach? Oh, thank you. It looks like Charzard It looks like a dragon with wings. That's what Charzart is. Charzart is. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:53 And for some reason they put them on I was to say stage two at the top left. It's like they're trying to do like a chip version of Charmelian. He says 120 HP. Maybe that's the standard amount of hit points for Charzard. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:41:08 Put Cheetosard on a stage one. Yeah. This is the one that's worth a bunch now, right? I think. Yeah, that first edition, Shattelis Charzard, I think it's like just like half a million pretty standardly. There was an episode of Pawn Stars where a guy brought in like 50 of these about eight years ago and he wanted $100,000 for all.
Starting point is 01:41:31 of them. And of course, classic pawn stars, like, I'll give you $5 on a handshake, pal. Had he actually purchased all of those charzards, you would have been looking at like millions of dollars of profit just from buying this dude's charzards. But the guy held on. He still has these charzards to this day. Good for him. A charzart is five foot seven, two hundred pounds. That bitch. It's simultaneously like small as fuck and needs a diet. Yes. this is something that even as a kid Woody upset me
Starting point is 01:42:05 and I had to create my own head cannon for a lot of Pokemon because on the cards exactly like that I'd be like Charzards 5-7 no no no no he's not there's a Pokemon called onyx who is a giant rock snake it's a snake made of rocks that's like 25 feet long and the Japanese
Starting point is 01:42:23 guy who made the card was like oh what kind of makes sense as far as like size I say he 28 feet long rock snake and that he weigh 600 pounds it's like that doesn't make any sense it should be thousands of pounds because it's a snake all boulders just the outside is rock though no i's solid rock how is that doesn't make any sense taylor he can't be solid rock how would his digestive system work how would it it doesn't it's what still rocks i never saw him fed it's rock on the outside clearly and and
Starting point is 01:42:57 your charzard there five seven makes sense it's five seven to like the top of his back probably Like you can see he's all hunched over like he's five seven tall, but he's like seven feet long Okay, here's a good See there he is all stretched out. That's a better look for him, I think Hmm. All right, here's a I prefer the bigger Machamp there too, Machamp was sick Oh, he's smaller in the anime. I didn't like the small haunter, haunter was neat That guy looks familiar. Snorlax. He was always great. He was always great.
Starting point is 01:43:31 you just play that little flu they had like yeah they did make them gigantic in the animated series okay that's huge 52 feet yeah it's the one in the polka decks which is like the game the one on the left 28 feet 10 inches and i'm looking at a card right now they said 463 pounds for a rock snake that's 28 feet long that's that's retarded if if seven-year-old me was able to identify this as an issue. It's an issue. Look at that. And also, this is a disappointing thing. The giant rock snake is unusably weak and bad.
Starting point is 01:44:11 Terrible in the video games. I was so upset by that. I watched the animated series and I wanted to catch an onyx so bad because Brock made them look so hardcore. And then you tried to use an onyx. I'm sure you did this too, Santee. And you're like, oh, okay, well, this guy's just slow and horrible and is weak to like 11 different types.
Starting point is 01:44:29 It says here that a 28-foot snake would weigh 500 pounds. Yes. A regular snake. It's made of snake meat. And this is made of granite. So what's the diameter of the snake, Taylor? Because I have the answer here.
Starting point is 01:44:49 Of the onyx? Oh, I don't know. I would guess it's always drawn with like a bunch of balls of rock connected. And so I don't know what the diameter would be. Can you throw something out there between three and 12 inches? it's got to be more than that what do they say more than 12 inches for diameter oh yeah it's got to be like feet like four feet that's what i'm imagining 28 feet four feet wide that seems too they're long and narrow is a small godzilla made of rock and is a snake it's that bring up bring up my picture again
Starting point is 01:45:22 yeah and you can kind of see a little more because like that's another thing with onyx is it doesn't have snake proportions. The head and the body are so big and girthy and it doesn't match up to the total length of it. So like if this thing did exist, it would be, it would seem short and it would be heavy as fuck. Well,
Starting point is 01:45:43 Jesus, using this formula, if it was 28 foot by 12 inches, it would weigh 3,775 pounds. Assuming GPT is worth a darn, I don't know. Well, then it should easily be like 10,000 pounds because if that's 28 feet long, it looks like that head is what, five feet, eight feet,
Starting point is 01:46:12 there's got to be six feet across if that's 28 feet long. No, it's not. All right, look at the length of it and imagine about a fourth. That is not the diameter of the head. okay maybe it was like five feet across look at it that's a gigantic head there's no this is crucial there's nothing for scale here we know that it's 28 feet long that weird grass in the background
Starting point is 01:46:41 what is this you don't need scale it's 28 feet 10 inches long I don't know what this picture is okay I suppose but I still need to I need a fucking slide ruler or something to figure out diameter. I thought it was like a slice shot of it like being underground doing rock snake things. Oh, it's, it's levitating. It's like standing on it's like.
Starting point is 01:47:05 Yeah, I picture like a cobra, but it's, you know. Yeah. This is a terrible, a terrible artwork. I don't care for it. Reason number 87, why I didn't get into your silly card game. I never got into the video games are good. I don't even know where I would play that video game. He's an alpha nerd.
Starting point is 01:47:23 On your game. boy in 1997 on road trips. I had Tetris. I played Tetris. That's all I had. Oh, that's so much worse. Pokemon at least had a story. You could keep engaged for a super long road trip. You only stopped playing when the batteries for your Game Boy and the batteries for that
Starting point is 01:47:39 ridiculous clip-on light because they weren't backlit back then. When that thing died, there was nothing more frustrating than like driving at night as a little kid on a road trip. And your Game Boy still has juice. but your light dies and you're like trying to angle it and then you get bold and you turn on the overhead light and then your dad's like
Starting point is 01:48:01 he trying to fucking kill us you were rich you had the light the idea that the interior light in a car like impaired the driver's ability to do what he's doing is this lie that they tell it still hurts my feeling my father used to take me
Starting point is 01:48:21 fishing we go out on a boat in the bay in Ocean City and he absolutely had me convinced that if I talked at all that we'd scare the fish away and I realized literally like two years ago he told me he's like yeah your dad just didn't want to hear you wow so many hours of me just shutting the heck up because he did not want to talk to me okay okay that happens he's so of a gun. We could have chatted about life. I vibe with Kyle's Tetris comment there. I thought Tetris was, I think Tetris is the greatest video game of all time. It is perfection. There is nothing wrong with Tetris. There is
Starting point is 01:49:07 no need to make Tetris better. And if you want to see something that'll blow your fucking mind, watch the Tetris World Championships. You think chess people are impressive? The Tetris people will blow your fucking mind. They've gotten to the point. By the way, still play on like an original NES system. They have somehow discovered a trick to move the objects across the screen
Starting point is 01:49:33 much faster by turning the controller upside down and tapping it like put ta-da-da-da with their with their with their with their fingers and it's somehow yeah they're like fanning yeah they're fanning the back of the controller they found this strategy
Starting point is 01:49:49 to move the the pieces at superhuman level. They're still making, they're still becoming better at Tetris nowadays. And to me, that's impressive. It's incredibly impressive. But then again, I'm impressed by a guy who's so good at Snakey, fills up the whole board. That's hard. That is really hard.
Starting point is 01:50:09 I'm more impressive people that are good at those types of games than I am impressed by like a professional call of duty player. I obviously, I played a lot of Call of Duty. And I've seen like the scumps of the world and like, oh my God. Yes, you are a god, but fucking, I think his name is Jeff Chen in Tetris. That is just significantly more impressive. I find that maybe like in Call of Duty, there is maybe this feeling of like, I think I could do that. But when I see the Tetris guy do his thing, there is a gap where I know I'm physically incapable of ever being able to do what that guy is doing. That's an interesting point.
Starting point is 01:50:51 Like the best version of me, me on my best day ever was probably equal to scump for a whole two, three minutes in a row. Like I've had stretches where I was just the super me. I have never equaled those Tetris people at all, even close. Should see the professional yo-yo players, they're fucking crazy too. I watched the thing about this guy the other day. He's a 40-something year old street fighter player and a professional as a professional. and it's in a game where apparently, you know, the younger you are, the better. And he's just an absolute showman.
Starting point is 01:51:25 He's doing all sorts of splits and like doing the running man and dancing and getting wacky on stage. And he plays the worst character in the game, this giant fat character. You go. They can't do anything. But he's like played it so much. He's a gangster at it. I watched a great video about this guy coming back and winning.
Starting point is 01:51:46 I saw the same one, I bet. Yeah. Probably so. Yeah. Yeah, he's got this clap move and he's really good at spacing. I mean, all the characters are meant to be balanced, but in reality, they're not, right? Yeah, this guy makes a bad one work. And he has an advantage in that other players aren't used to facing him.
Starting point is 01:52:07 So he's facing, I'll make it up, you know, Raiu constantly, but people don't face Hugo. Yeah. I never watched fighting game tournaments. I always assumed, like, they have. a draft of sorts where like they kind of were forced to play all different characters to show like oh you you're just good at the game you have to put some tournaments where and play a whole tournament with the same character so there there are some tournaments where the rules allow your opponent to veto a character we're like I don't want to play against Ryu right so then your opponent
Starting point is 01:52:41 can play as any other characters they want except Rio but that that to me those are usually like lower tier tournaments. You want to see the best of the best. You want to see like the best player pick the best character that he's best with. But many tournaments do have a veto system. Yeah. I mean, that's how RTS tournaments work. And so I assume that's how all the other ones.
Starting point is 01:53:02 Because like when I watch AOE tournaments, it'll be like, you know, Hara bans, Portuguese, bohemians, blah, blah, all these ones. And so his opponent can't pick that. And that his opponent in return bans the things he anticipates him using to success. And,
Starting point is 01:53:18 although there's there's 50 sips in that game so like there are a lot of bands we would always do picks and bands like pick uh five like to play and five sives that you don't want any one to play or whatever um because you get rid of all the unbalanced shit yeah especially if there's like as all these games are like it's it feels like there's always some cheese meta where you know they rebalance and something is kind of missed in the in the crossfire and then it's like oh we didn't mean for Ryu to become this powerful because we overlooked how like this frame rate delay for his character would actually make him like unblockable in his jab or whatever the fuck it is. Or in Siv, we'd ban Sibs that are early game attack Sibs like Mongolians or maybe Egyptians with chariots or something like that. Someone that's going to come at you super early and be difficult and ruin the game.
Starting point is 01:54:14 there are card games like Magic the Gathering Yu-Gi-O where the company itself that made the cards they made a super overpower card where they have to come to Jesus and realize all right this is banned I know we made the card I know it's intended to do this but we accidentally broke the game and because this isn't a video game where we can go in and patch it this card's just not allowed Winota yeah well they do that not only because I'm sure sometimes they actually make a mistake and you're like, oh, this is kind of meta-breaking, but it's also like, now they've got to buy something else. It's not like they refund your
Starting point is 01:54:51 money for those cards that are now banned or let you exchange them for new cards. They kind of should. They should, or they'll insult you and be like, at least in MTG Arena, the online version, like they will retroactively change the card because it's online.
Starting point is 01:55:10 And so, like, you'll build a whole deck around the Meat Hook Massacre and And then you're like, oh man, this deck is killing it. This is great. And then they make an announcement on their website where it's like, actually, so sorry. But now that everyone's bought this card to build decks around because it's a super fun card to use, we're actually just going to retroactively change what the card does. So you still own it. It's just like not going to do any of the things you bought it for. And it's like, okay, so if you would have released this card in its current text that you've adapted it to, no one would have gone bananas over it, but everyone's bought it now. Everyone's got it. And they had like two, three weeks of fun. And now it's, you know, just retconned. It's very scary.
Starting point is 01:55:54 One of my favorite things that happens in these games is when they release a card like 10 years ago that all of a sudden because of a technicality becomes relevant like 15 years later. For example, this isn't an actual example, but like to give something that could be realistic, there might have been a card like 15 years ago of a. of a deck of like the magical warriors deck and it might be a card that's like you pull it it's a spell card you can look and add any magical any monster with the word magical in its name to your hand or any card with the word magical to your hand all right that works at searching the magical deck
Starting point is 01:56:34 because you have a bunch of cards that start with the word magical but then 15 years go by and all of a sudden some god card that happens to have the word magical that was never supposed to be comboed or be used with the deck from 15 years ago all of a sudden is some meta-breaking card but it's supposed to be hard to get but you can go to the card from 15 years ago add that to your deck and now all of a sudden you have a card that allows you to find this card that has the word magical in it that was never intended to combo but the rule said if it's got the word magical in it it works and that's great that's one of the
Starting point is 01:57:12 fun things about trading card games like magic is you will find little loopholes like that as the game progresses because I don't know how Yu-Giote works. I've never played or had any Yu-Gi-o cards, but in magic, the kind of rule of thumb or the understood reality of the game is everything is so broken that nothing is broken. Like there's, oh, your opponent is playing some really annoying infinite combo. Well, I guarantee there's another infinite combo that destroys everything he was trying to do or some nonsense combo that was never intended. And so, you know, you should have used that against it. Speaking of, this just made me think of the trading card thing. Dick Masterson, friend of the show, and also Vito Giswaldi, who he and Dick do the
Starting point is 01:58:00 biggest problem in the universe podcast together. They've both been on here, funny guys. I saw a highlight, because I really don't follow their show closely, but Dick made a bit where he was like, Vito fans are sending in like, Vito's like addicted to nerd shit, like
Starting point is 01:58:20 figurines and like trading cards and stuff. And Dick was like, hey, a lot of fans are sending in rare cards or nonsense. What are those goofy little figure? Funko pops. Funko pops, yeah. They're sending stuff in. And so then every at the
Starting point is 01:58:36 of every episode, Dick started a bit called Vito's Booty where he dresses like a pirate and he puts one of the things that the viewers sent in in a treasure box. And Vito can either get on a scale because he's a fat guy and say what he weighs to the audience. And if he gets on the scale and weighs himself, he receives the gift. If he says, I will not get on the scale, then Dick burns or destroys in front of him whatever was. And apparently there's a character called Mother's Milk in Black Panther or The Boys.
Starting point is 01:59:15 Okay, I didn't even know. But apparently that's like the most, Vito did not like getting a ton of Mother's Milk Funko Pops. And so for like 12 weeks in a row, he's like, I guess I'll get on the scale. And Dick's like, here you go, another Mother's Milk Funko Pop. and he like tricked Vito and to wear one week Dick was like so Vito you're going to hop on
Starting point is 01:59:37 the scale you know Vito's booty you're going to get what's in the box and Vito's like no I'm not going to do it this time I'm you know I'm you know just destroy whatever's in the box this week and then Vito was like or Dick was like all right well the first thing is a mother's milk funkopop and the second thing is an artist signed Gaya's cradle 900 dollar magic card and immediately video veto is like like like nerd panic we're like no no I can I'll get on the scale I'll get on this girl I'm so sorry I'll get on the scale and he makes him he does sit there and watch as dick in a pirate outfit being like our well it doesn't seem that rare to me he lights it on top and he just burned a $900 magic card in front of them and the
Starting point is 02:00:30 whole time. Vito's like, why, how could you do this? He's like, you should have got on the scale. You could have got on the scale. He could have showed us how much you like. That cracked me up. It was the most intense like nerd panic and fear I had ever seen in my life. Like a like a cartoonish level of as soon as he pulled the card out. Has he ever released his comic that he's been promising for the past like four and a half years? I saw that he did release it. But I don't know. I mean, I haven't read it or anything. I'm not a big comics guy. But I think he's released it because it's been years now. I remember we had him on for the first time a few years ago and he was talking about it. And then when we had him on like eight months ago, he was like, Woody followed up and was like, how's the comic going? And he's like, I was totally amazing. You were good faith. To provide a platform where he would brag about his success and what issue he was on. That's what was in my head. It didn't go like that. Yeah. And then he's like, well, not. And Woody's like, huh. It's been years.
Starting point is 02:01:34 I guess he's out now. From what from like I didn't know he had it out. But like the problem because I followed, I followed those guys and I and I do watch that show is that I think he would purposely self-sabotage because he was afraid specifically of Dick Masterson reading the comic and roasting it. I think that he would constantly push back release dates. Say, oh, this artist in Brazil, they got this like pixel. that absolutely nobody will notice wrong. So we had to restart everything
Starting point is 02:02:04 and now we're back nine months. I just genuinely think because Dick is so fucking mean to Vito that he was just scared to release the comic because Vito would, because Dick would just make fun of it. I think that's realistic. And like that would be a scary guy to have like ready to critique your art and your writing
Starting point is 02:02:26 because Dick is a very gifted writer. He knows like he's not. going to come with writing critique, like, oh, this is all gay and lame and you suck. Like, it's going to be stuff that probably hurts. Like, this is phrased incorrectly. This isn't organized right. The plot, the plot through line, uh, there's no incentive for this character here. There's too many comments from the back, like, whatever it is.
Starting point is 02:02:49 And so, like, that would be intimidating. It's like, oh, fuck, I can't even write this off as though he doesn't know what he's talking about because he does. There comes a point, though, where like, if I, if I want to show somebody something, I don't really want your feedback. I just want you to like blindly say, yeah, I like it. The project is done. I'm not going to change it.
Starting point is 02:03:09 You can get the greatest feedback ever, but this is it. This is what's coming out. And also it's like, you know, it's his first comic, right? So I would imagine like that's part of the, yeah, it's going to be perfect. Well, it was through Vito that I learned that there's some sort of like comic book YouTube cartel. of all of these YouTubers trying to release comics with one another because they got into some giant beef
Starting point is 02:03:36 with a guy named Eric July that ended up getting to like levels of like litigation over beef about their comics. Which is absurd. I didn't know the online comic game was that serious, but these people are very, very serious.
Starting point is 02:03:52 They're very serious about it, yeah. I've never read a comic. I don't know anything about that world. I've read the walking. Okay, maybe this is a comic, but I've never read a physical comic. I've never sat down and I'm like, I'm going to read Superman issue, whatever, but I have sat down and read the entirety of the Walking Dead comic, like online. But that is the, yeah, that I just super into the Walking Dead and you wanted to know what's next.
Starting point is 02:04:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I did that with the Game of Thrones books. Fuck me for thinking that he would finish before he would die. That fat idiot. But I did it because I was a big Walking Dead. fan. I'm like, I want to see what happens next. Luckily, the story of the books is so different from the show, so it ultimately didn't spoil too much. But I still have hope, man, about the world of ice and fire. I still have hope that this piece of shit, this lazy asshole, I'm so mad at him,
Starting point is 02:04:46 even though he's created in my favorite world, that he will maybe finish this. Let me say what the move would be. Let me say what the move would be to redeem everything. It seemingly for like nine years or something. He's been working on the next book, Wins of Winter or whatever. And I think from my, I know he's released, I don't know the exact number anymore, but like half a dozen, maybe even a dozen chapters. I've seen him read
Starting point is 02:05:09 full chapters from Wins of Winter at Comic-Con and places like that. Very, very nice of him. That's cool shit. That would get me to show up if I was a super fan. But what if he revealed that not only has he written Winds of Winter, but he's got the last book too. What if he came out? Yeah, what if he was
Starting point is 02:05:27 like, you get winds of winter and December you get whatever Feast for Crows or whatever the last one's called I don't remember like in July Yeah yeah yeah You can pre-order them in a bundle right now For twice as much or something like that
Starting point is 02:05:40 Limited you know like that would fully redeem him Yeah He was like I've been eating shit for the last decade Literally I'm not a slow writer I've written them both Plus a third book that was unannounced I've got all three will be coming out
Starting point is 02:05:57 like that would redeem him fully but that would be a drop of the mic moment people would go fucking crazy and everyone would get down on their knees and apologize but instead what he does he releases these statements where he's like i know you want me to to write the thing i'm most known for the thing that five million of you used to show up for every week but no i'm interested lots of things i'm interested in video games i like i'm making an elden ring movie i'm making I'm going to do an Ewok story for for Disney. I'm writing an erotic novel based in the in the Game of Thrones universe, but 5,000 years prior.
Starting point is 02:06:35 It's just elf pussy. Nothing but elf pussy. He said something like that where he's like, I'm interested in lots of stuff. And I know that you want me to do this one thing, but I'm not going to do it. Yeah, he got dumped on. Yeah, he got dumped on a hard by fans. I like Taylor, I know that you invested most of you. your intellectual points in the nerdum of the Lord of the Rings.
Starting point is 02:07:00 And that has paid off because Lord of the Rings, that world is still beloved to this day. Bastrodize a little bit. I put all of my points into the world of ice and fire. Like all of them. I got to like I know every single little house in the north. I know what houses belong to to do to what fucking war. Jordan, who reacts to who, the, the, the, the lore between them for the past, like, 700 years.
Starting point is 02:07:29 I invested into all of that. It's great lore. Like, it's really a well-fetched out, man. The fucking show, ruined, like, once I watched the ending of that show, and I knew, like, he's not going to finish it, dude. I don't, I know he's not going to finish it. But I'm just so upset that I invested so much time in learning what might end up being fucking useless in the long term.
Starting point is 02:07:50 I want to have what you have, Taylor. knowledge of a beloved franchise that you can pull out at any moment that you know of the hill yeah people respect you like I Taylor has this incredible knowledge that I'm jealous of
Starting point is 02:08:04 no one is jealous of my world of ice and fire knowledge it's because Lord of the Rings ended well yes and so like it was a story that ended which is a big part of stories ending it really and yeah Game of Thrones it's four fucking times bro let's be real
Starting point is 02:08:19 it ended then it ended again and again and again and again That thing went, the screen went all white. It came back for another 10 minutes. Then it went all black and it came back for another 10 minutes. He's like, yeah, it didn't make... There was a little bit of a fake out. And the scourge of the shire, admittedly, was interesting. But also, it was like, we can't have a culmination of world saving events
Starting point is 02:08:44 and then invest more care in a much smaller regional conflict. It doesn't flow very well. but I understand why he did it you know they if anything well it doesn't make sense with the way the trilogy ends but like if there was some Amazon show about the uh is it the scourging of the Shire
Starting point is 02:09:03 I've watched the season of that like like if you were just watching like if it began with Aragorn being crowned king and him saying you bowed to no one and then kind of goes forward chronology chronologically from there I'd be down for that ending with the scourging of the shire and then but then you also have sarahman being killed off
Starting point is 02:09:27 at the beginning of return of the king yeah that wouldn't work so they'd have to like be leaning on which is better he just did it better look i i read the books twice i'm sure you've read them more you know you definitely know more than i do but i like peter jackson's version in that regard way better i like his ending better and i like his ending for sarumon better i like sarahman getting his comeuppets in the extended edition falling with the palanter you know coming out of his pocket. I like weren't done. I kind of wish Grima had been redeemed fully.
Starting point is 02:09:56 There was no redeeming that guy. I wish they had had been like, nice one, Grima. Come on down. We've got salted pork. And he's like, salted pork. And even his killing of Saruman wasn't fully,
Starting point is 02:10:09 it wasn't like I realized the wrong I've committed. It was a maybe I can pull a parachute here. And they'll give me a little bit of good. He was. he was angry because he was brought in on the wrong of rohan come down and what do you say not be not be redeemed but but something like that but but he wouldn't be redeemed they would have had to kill the guy and like sarahman is like and like backhands him and it's it's like he's like rage that makes him do the killing so i i guess maybe he's not redeemed because of that
Starting point is 02:10:42 alone but like i kind of want to agree i love that actor it's brad dorif i kind of wanted him to have that theoden like moment where since sarahman was dead he like got his skin tone back because the man looks like he's like greenish blue like a corpse like he looks so gross i wanted him to like get a sun tan suddenly yeah yeah yeah like he's like the evil that he's and i also like uh transforming him physically almost i like that when like it was very funny to see what a ghoul grima is initially in the two towers when you're introduced to him and he's like whispering to theoden and there's still like employees walking around with like mead and apples and stuff
Starting point is 02:11:25 and no one's like dude this guy's fucking changed since that weird is his name worm tongue that's his last name no oh my god dude someone's got to get on the fucking ball here like this under control because this guy's clearly bad we tell him like hey do you want to send troops to fight the orcs back and greenbiz like you can't spare them it's like okay well anyway
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Starting point is 02:15:06 hoodies, t-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, mugs, stickers. People love stickers. People, for years now, I've seen stickers of Joe Biden or like Trump on gas stations. Maybe we should. start vandalizing gas stations we do not recommend that you vandalize gas station but anyway check it out use no PGA 10 for 10% off I like that idea and back to the show
Starting point is 02:15:34 I want stickers now I'm a bit of vandal you're a bit of a bit of a miscreant people have said so yeah what's the most expensive thing you vandalize what in your life did you ever tag anything Did you ever scratch into anything, even if it's just as simple as like, you scratch your name into a desk or something? Did you ever properly vandalize something?
Starting point is 02:15:56 Are you thinking of something, Kyle? Oh, I got some good ones. Yeah, I want to hear, Kyle. Why don't you take over while I think? All right. So I was in a certain state and a certain night. And the hotel had a big ass fountain out front. So we went to Walmart and got like a ton of Mr. Bubble.
Starting point is 02:16:14 And we poured it into the fountain and destroyed the, inner workings of the fountain like the motor filter system was ruined for thousands of dollars but that night it it was really cool there were so many bubbles it looked like something from a movie it made so much so much bubbles and then another time when i was 17 or 18 um probably yeah maybe just had turned 18 on on spring break or maybe a senior trip same difference really though uh i threw well me and my buddy threw a you know that thing when you go to a hotel and they they put your luggage on it the bellhop pushes it yeah yeah yeah those are very heavy um so so we we threw that off like the 14th floor and uh at the bottom they had it was one of those hotels that shaped like the letter oh and so in the middle there's a hollow spot so and there's a you know you can all look down through the balconies meant all the way to the bottom and in the bottom of the oh there was like a courtyard with these concrete benches where people like a patio type thing it was the thing hit that and it all exploded um like not with fireballs but with just shrapnel flying everywhere and so we
Starting point is 02:17:30 destroyed the luggage cart and the concrete patio set down below and i think they valued it at like three thousand dollars uh because because that my buddy he took the full wrap and um his dad drove all the way from northeast Georgia to Panama City, Florida and picked his ass up in the middle of the trip and drove him all the way back home without speaking a word to him, he said. How old are we talking here, by the way?
Starting point is 02:17:56 18. Okay. 18. The hotel had him taken out the garbage and like working for them doing like slave jobs to start earning the money back. And so I just remember we were all
Starting point is 02:18:09 me and the two girls. Like me, my girl and his girl were going to get them tattoos. One of them was getting like a dolphin on her ass or something. And he was taking the garbage out. He was he was like carrying big bags of garbage and like throwing them in the dumpster. And we were like, they got you taking the garbage out, huh?
Starting point is 02:18:30 He's like, yeah, they're paying me $8 an hour that goes against the money I owe. A year later, he was still paying that off because his parents wouldn't help him. He was just having to. I think they paid it, but then he owed them. And he was still, like, working that money off. Good Lord. Worst thing I ever vandalized. I was a dick and I feel bad about it.
Starting point is 02:18:51 But I was 19 years old. I was on a swim trip in my collegiate swim team would have winter training. And we'd go to where there's a 50 meter pool, which is a little more swimming to flip turn ratio and get into good shape. Anyway, the hotel, we were on, I don't know, 14th story, something like that. And the other people on the swim team were throwing cans of drinks, soda, beer. not sure, into the pool. And at 14 stories, when it hit the pool, the can would break and it made kind of an interesting effect and whatever. And I threw one like way up high in the air as
Starting point is 02:19:26 high as I could. Throwing and catching like a swimmer should. I missed the pool entirely. And it went past the pool and landed on somebody's car, like the trunk or something. And this is a can from great height. I'm sure it scratched it and possibly dented it. I don't know if the dent would pop right back out. And everyone around me was like, bro, that's not cool.
Starting point is 02:19:54 Yeah, it's even less cool with the way you guys are reacting. They did you no favors here. Yeah, they didn't cut me any slack on that. That's actually how we got caught with the luggage rack thing. Because like there was no way to know that we threw the luggage card off, but
Starting point is 02:20:11 except that the same night we had been throwing empty liquor bottles off our balcony down to the pool below, and they had just smashed everywhere down there. Oh, no. So they were responding to that, and it, yeah,
Starting point is 02:20:26 Boone took the wrap. It was all good. We were talking about things we vandalized. We vandalized. Highest dollar amounts. I ruined a fountain at a at a holiday inn one time, and I also, we filled it up Mr. Bubble, and then I also. Well, it's not ruined.
Starting point is 02:20:43 They can figure it. No, the next day at breakfast, like, we got word. Yeah, it's ruined. Someone ruined the pump and filter system. Like, it ruined it. Oh, no. There was a, there were, I think we spoke to the workers who were fixing it. We're like, hey,
Starting point is 02:20:58 what are you doing? What happened here? What happened? You're still, you're still, you're all sudsy. They're like shampoo hair. Look what happened here. So I don't have anything anywhere near that expensive. I just asked the question. I thought it was going to be tiny little things.
Starting point is 02:21:20 You guys fucking knocked it out of the park with that question. I think like the most heinous thing that I did was at nighttime, we went back to our school, me and my buddies, and we cut the ball from all the tether ball poles because you're just fucking being assholes. But the only one where I'm like, well, we cause damage, damage is there was a port. in like the neighborhood that we lived in we lived in this enclosed like subsidized housing and there was this woman that was growing tomatoes so we would hop her fence and we would steal like a bunch of tomatoes already you know dickhead move number one yeah but then we would use
Starting point is 02:21:58 those tomatoes to like huck them at cars that were driving by oh man no you were waiting this is like 31 like I'm young yeah I'm nine I'm nine yeah I'm nine yeah I'm nine yeah I'm nine yeah I'm 9 to 12, somewhere in there. I did this a little later in life. My cousins, like, it's stupid. My cousin's stepdad or my, no, my cousin's step grandpa, however the fuck that all works. Someone in the family was somewhat close with or at least he was. Are you even related?
Starting point is 02:22:29 No, not me. I'm not. I'm not. No, no. It's just the guy. But my cousin was there. That's why it's relevant. So he's like, Paul Paul, run. a tomato stand and they've got like a bushel of rotten tomatoes we can we can just go get them
Starting point is 02:22:47 and I'm like well let's go get them and so we had like a five gallon bucket full of they weren't rotten rotten rotten like so gross you wouldn't touch them they were just soft and so like we went around hitting houses with them instead of egging houses we matered them yeah and of course the whole time we're like doing our like larry the cable guy voice is talking about matering houses and and just tickling each other to death like I'm gonna mater that house real good. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna mater it up too. And like the three of us were like, we were actually matering people's houses we knew because that seemed less like diabolical. So we'd be like, oh, we're gonna go.
Starting point is 02:23:22 It's like tee peeing. You know, you know, you know, that's how we saw. The guy lived in a trailer though. So a mater hitting the side of that trailer, it, I could throw. Boom, boom, boom. And we, you time it so that all three of you start, you're like, one, two, three. Now. And then you start heaving your arm full of maters as fast as you can. Three men hunking maters. You can get 30 down range in like 12 seconds. And then it's a sprint to the car. We also did this thing where I would go to the fireworks store in South Carolina
Starting point is 02:23:51 because Georgia didn't sell fireworks back then. And I'd get one of those rolls of firecrackers. You know, it's the, they're rolled up in sort of a- The shitty ones. Like a tuna can looking shape. And, you know, a 400 thing of firecrackers would be like $11 or something, maybe less. The ones that looked like a bandalier? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:24:10 But I would leave him rolled up and there was this kid that I beef with and I put it on his doorstep of his parents' house and then I took a cigarette and I like and then pinched the cigarette off of the butt and then stuck that onto the fuse. So the cigarette was going to burn down and make an extra long fuse and then sprinting out of his yard down the road because we've parked like an eighth of a mile away sprinting down the road. The darkness is fully encompassing me now. His yard lights are far behind me. And I just hear, boom. I'm just like, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. Got him. We did, we did pumpkin smashing when I was like, oh, that's classic. 13 or so. And it was in my friend's neighborhood, like, Halloween or
Starting point is 02:25:01 like October. We were at my friend's house, and it was a bunch of us. And so we were going around pumpkin smashing which is just using a big hammer or if you're not the person with the hammer you just pick up the pumpkin and slam it and you just pumpkin smash and we were all having a fun time and then one of my buddies was like i'm gonna run up and smash that pumpkin and he had the hammer and he misidentified like a metal decorative pumpkin with a real pumpkin and it it made it made the loudest noise that he would have been made he rang a bell just boom forever just resonated and it was like oh we gotta get out of here we would we would steal pumpkins after Halloween because that's just a
Starting point is 02:25:47 public during Halloween like like Halloween that they're probably thank you car you're you're right you're doing a service to these people I just like with the with the tomatoes real quick I wanted to finish off like the the last no no no you're good you're good um so we were throwing the and it was a slow road where not many cars went by so we would just hang out for a couple hours like on top of the fence and huck to whatever car ended up going by more often than not we'd hit the windshield they'd keep driving we're like ha ha ha ha and then we wait for the next guy like three months of us doing this and that's always been what what continues to happen we hit a guy in a truck and this guy fucking floors the
Starting point is 02:26:32 gets out and fucking chases us. He climbs the fence. So there's like six of us and five of us were able to sprint back to our homes in time. One of them, I'm nine. I'm not. I'm panicking. I'm like, this is the end of my life. Like if my parents find out, it's over for me.
Starting point is 02:26:51 I'm going to fucking kid Guantanamo Bay, whatever that end of me. One of my friends lived just far enough where the guy that was chasing us was able to see, what house he went into so it goes over there and and we don't know what's happening at this point because we're all cowering in our house but the story goes he goes in there he fucking is screaming our friend cops up to everything he took the entire blame and he doesn't rat us out doesn't rat out a single person like 12 years went by and we were still giving this kid props for it like dude where we're not really friends anymore but i still remember when you didn't rat all of us out you were the only one who got in trouble because of this dude that went fucking royd rage on us
Starting point is 02:27:39 and started chasing us because of the tomatoes that's a good friend we need those ride or die guys we would go out and just get into mischief there really wasn't much to do and we liked like i didn't want to damage property we never heard anybody's cars we never did that we never heard anybody's house like we would never break a window out of anything, but we would come and steal the pumpkins out of your yard and then hit mailboxes with them at 60 miles per hour. I remember because there's lots of roads around Lake Hartwell where... The mailbox thing, definitely, there's no way a mailbox isn't destroyed after a 60 mile on a pumpkin. Well, I destroyed more mailboxes than you would believe. We kept count for
Starting point is 02:28:23 a long time, but the number has to be approaching a thousand mailboxes. Like, it has to to be. How many people lived in your neighborhood, in your like area? Like 65? So you were just, they all had to buy dozens. But what we would do is we would go out with this in mind. Like this was a game we played.
Starting point is 02:28:43 Like we're going out getting some tonight. And we would go get our rocks. And then we would drive like half an hour from home to like another, a neighboring county. Or we would oftentimes go down around Lake Hartwell where there are these it's just these snake it looks like the roots of a tree the way those roads work how they just keep branching off more and more and and you're there's no return it all comes back the same way oftentimes
Starting point is 02:29:09 and we just had this idea that like we're so far from the town that if someone calls the cops on us by the time they it'll be 20 minutes before the cops can respond and the cops are going to be responding to something way back behind us because we're not we're not coming back we're making a loop through this whole area and we would take out like 50 mailboxes a night and i don't mean dent them i mean obliterate them and it's so many mailboxes you got good at it you we wouldn't miss it would like like i would throw them my left out of the driver's side he would throw them out of you were driving yes yes we're not kids i'm we would go fill up with gas for this shit we go to the boat ramps we go to the boat ramps and get those retaining um granite boulders
Starting point is 02:29:54 And they're about the size of a small watermelon, maybe a little smaller. Somewhere between that and a candleloaf, I guess. And we would fill my floorboard up with them until our knees were like up high. Like we're standing on rocks. And like, I mean, you hit one of people. You'd have been so busted if the cops pulled you over. Oh, yeah. These rocks.
Starting point is 02:30:13 Oh, yeah. I don't know anything about them. Yeah, it's full on fess up mode. And like, we kept escalating like what we were up to. Like, I remember one night we stole a shopping cart. from like the local grocery store and I had it I had it in the back up they got plenty and I had it in the back of the truck and we're driving down the road going about whatever 4550 and I'm like you drive because he didn't want to do the thing and so he drives the truck and I crawl out the
Starting point is 02:30:43 window in the back you know like there's a it's a single cab F150s there's a sliding window between the driver and the passenger like at head level I crawl out that into the rear of the truck while we're driving down the road. And I muscle the shopping cart up over my head going like 40. And I hunk that at a mailbox. And I just remember this the sparks and the shit exploding everywhere. Like when you're going 40 miles per hour and you throw something that weighs 40 or 50 pounds, it just has so much energy. It's shocking the amount of destruction you could do with it. And then like we went up from there. We would go out in those those Lake Hartwell like lake communities where a lot of the houses are vacation properties some nobody's at home and i remember
Starting point is 02:31:24 they would have the mailboxes for like 30 houses would all be together at the entrance to the road so you wouldn't have to the mailman wouldn't have to go off into a community there would just be this bank of mailboxes all side by side just sitting there completely unattended and i'm just out there i pulled a mailbox out of the ground i pulled the whole mailbox posting all out of the ground and i'm using it like a gigantic hammer to hit the other mailboxes just like one after another. That sounds fun. I wish I would have
Starting point is 02:31:56 had more of that. It was so much fun. If only Raja Jackson had to use his rage for this. Yes. Kyle was BB and those mailboxes were children. It was so much
Starting point is 02:32:14 and I had I remember we went to Home Depot. one time and I was looking at the mailboxes and I'm like, ooh, that one's 40 bucks. We took out a lot of them that looked like that. And then like the regular ones are like $12. Like, this is adding up to a lot of money
Starting point is 02:32:31 if we ever get caught, you know? Like, but, but I always had that in my head. Like if we get caught, like, what are they going to do? Make us work all summer like or something to earn back this money. You know, we're teenagers. Like, they're not going to send us to prison. Deliver the mail. Maybe. Great.
Starting point is 02:32:47 I'd be down with that too. I was willing to do whatever they were going to do to me. He was a mailbox enthusiast. Clearly. Don't throw me in the briar patch. I would do it now. I remember the last time I did it when I was a little too old to do it. And we, like I had been away in Atlanta and I came back home and like, hey, Scott, you want to hit him up for one for old time's sake. He's like, man, I hadn't done that and then forever. Let's go. And we're like 19 or 20.
Starting point is 02:33:14 Like riding around hitting me. And I was just like, I think we might be too old for this man. He's like, yeah, we need to cut it out too. I think we'll go to big boy jail if we get caught. Yeah, yeah. I think we're, yeah, there was a couple times when, like, people would take off after us. Like, we'd hit a mailbox and they were in their yard, like, chilling. And you could see them start sprinting toward their vehicle. And, like, because they're going to chase us.
Starting point is 02:33:37 And that just made it so much more fun. Like, like, now it's a chase. Now we get, now I get to drive recklessly. Man, I never did any major vandal stuff. what pops in my head is like an example of the most egregious littering and like public disregard for safety, I can remember, which is when I was, I think it was after my first year of college or maybe halfway through that. I was home for winter break or something. And this guy I went to high school, who's a couple of years younger than us. And people liked him because his family was literally the richest.
Starting point is 02:34:17 family i've ever known in my entire life by orders of magnitude like his house had a guest house that was like a four bed four bath guest house uh he had a gigantic pool the biggest hot tub i've ever seen he had two tennis courts two tennis courts as if his that his house have pillars it was the biggest fucking house it was crazy and so he would think it was normal uh No, he definitely leaned on people. He's the same guy who he had season tickets to the blues from his dad. And me and him and a couple other people went to a blues game once. And he parked in like an area where I was like, we can't fucking park here.
Starting point is 02:35:05 It was like a cop's only area. And he was like, I don't care. I'll just show him the card. And I'm like, what card? And I guess he had a card that was like, my father donates bananas, his amounts of money to the police union. And so, like, we parked, got out. And, like, there are cops already side-eyeing us.
Starting point is 02:35:24 And he just walked up and was, like, showed them this card. And they were like, oh, you guys have, enjoy the game. It's going to be a great. And I was like, oh, my God. This is crazy. The amount of access this guy can buy. But it was after a party at his house. And he, for some reason, the next morning was like, it was only a few of us left and we were
Starting point is 02:35:44 going to go get chick-fil-y or something like that. And he was like, I have to throw away all the glass bottles and everything, or the maid will see it. And she'll tell my dad that we were like being bad and drinking and everything. And I was like, okay, I guess that might make sense, but there's like, there's cocaine on your table. Like there's still like what the fuck, like the level, whatever. And so he like put all these glass bottles in like a giant black trash bag. And then he was driving me and two of our other buddies in his car to Chick-fil-A. And I was like, why did he bring a giant black trash bag of glass bottles in the car?
Starting point is 02:36:26 Like, why not just throw it? You think your dad, you're like borderline billionaire dad is going to be checking the garbage. Like, why would you do this? And then we were just on a public road. And he was like, time to get rid of it. And he just took this bag and pushed it out the window. I could, like, hear the, like, shattering of hundreds of bottles. And, like, the, like, his, the two people in the back were kind of his feelings on place.
Starting point is 02:36:53 You're like, my fingerprints are on those. The two people in the back were kind of his, like, goon friends who were always there for him no matter what. You are a prospective goon. And I didn't know them. I didn't know this side of them very well. And I was just like, oh, Jesus. Like, what are we just through? And I remember sitting there.
Starting point is 02:37:12 And he's like, what are you going to get from Chick-fil-A, Taylor? Because he had like a very, like, vocal fry voice. And I was just like, oh, man, spicy chicken. Like, what the fuck? Like, why did we do that? There were so many available options that didn't involve throwing a hundred empty Budlight bottles to be glass. And then, like, on the way back from Chick-fil-A,
Starting point is 02:37:35 we, like, see some, like, public service person, like having to scoop all this shit up because it's like out of a car at 48 miles an hour whatever on that road and so it like it's a huge amount of space now it's not just like a pile of shattered bottles it's a ton of it so I don't know what that guy's up to now he uh he comes from so much money uh and I didn't know until I was like an adult it was like how did your dad like make that much money like a like I think he was like a nine figure level wealth guy when I knew him. And I think now he might be like his dad might be a real billionaire. And it was junk mail. What? He is the junk mail guy. All the fucking horse shit you get in your mailbox is
Starting point is 02:38:22 facilitated through his service. All the nonsense. All the horse shit. Like he made hundreds of millions of dollars annoying people. One of the wealthier people I know, I've talked about him before, but he made all as money on those alternative phone books, you know, like, oh yeah, you guys might be young for this, but it's like the yellow paid is that everyone knew, but like the Donnelly directory and the other like unnamed ones, they were better phone books. At least that was the idea. You know, they had color the the phone book divisions, like which towns it covered was based on where the utility lines were. But maybe if you think about your own town, there are different like road dividers that
Starting point is 02:39:01 form like informal like this is as far as I go before I shop I never cross route 64 whatever that is these train tracks might form a kind of divider in your town that the utility lines don't respect but the phone books get it right that it's the alternative ones
Starting point is 02:39:17 the uh this thing my story doesn't hang with your guys but when I was 17 the first year you can drive in New Jersey we had a real knack a talent for timing the traffic lights in Ocean City, New Jersey. And we would use this power for bad. And we would be like, ooh, that thing, like, just turned green.
Starting point is 02:39:40 So we go like 17 and a 25 for the next four blocks. We'll make the yellow light and fuck this guy behind us. So we did that all the time. They'd be like frustrated. They'd flip us the high beams. And then when the yellow light caught them, they knew what the scoop was. We've been fucking with them for four blocks to make them catch a red light. until one time this dude i'm gonna call him like a 38 year old man kind of finish ran the red light
Starting point is 02:40:09 and then just starts getting aggressive with us pulling in front of us now he's going slow he's alphaing us and it was me and my friend and we thought we were like tough 17 year olds he's like five foot nothing um until that was tested and now we're both like yeah i don't want to and the guy even pulls up he's like doing one of these deals to see if we wanted to fight and I'm like I really don't want to we thought it would be funny I'm sorry this is a variation of the tomato guy that chased me snowball story like it was that you could have told it it was that was similar and in the end he kind of oh oh we got to another red light we got stopped at a red light and he got out of his car, like to walk to
Starting point is 02:40:59 ours. So I just drove elsewhere while he was on foot and that's where the story ends. My friend was like, I don't know. I feel like we were kind of pussies. We have like fought him, taken our beating and I'm like, nah, I think I made the right
Starting point is 02:41:15 call. Yeah. A hundred percent made the right call. Not letting some 38-year-old beat you to death. Right. I can go all Rajah Jackson on it. Yeah. In the moment, it feels bad making those decisions but like in the long term you made the right call i uh had a moment in a bar i'm like 23 at this point and i don't know what got through me but like i i got aggressive that night and
Starting point is 02:41:39 i i'm not a fighter like i i don't know how to fucking fight but i got into it with this guy um and we started yeah at yapping at each other clear hockey bro because he was he was very good at insults they're usually very good at that and i had no come back i had no come back to his really what he wouldy insults so i i was like all right let's fucking go he's like all right let's fucking go i'm like oh no he was hoping it was hoping so i and this is like close to like the middle of the dance floor i grab his hat and i throw it across the bar and i was like please go for it please go find your hat please go find your hat so he's like i'll be right back goes to find his hat and i fucking dart out of there i'm like i'm not getting in this goodbye
Starting point is 02:42:26 That's a high IQ maneuver because otherwise he would have if he was a hockey guy, he would like pulled your shirt over your head and then punching you in the face. Yeah. No, you don't want that. No, I'm so glad he went for his ad. The guy who's wanting a fight. Dude, I remember it. I felt like Jason Bourne.
Starting point is 02:42:46 I threw his hat. He went for it. I took off my sweater and I went to the side so that now I had a different shirt. So now it's blending with the masses inside of pants. You're quickly shaping. I felt like a giant bitch in the moment. I think I was, but I made the right call. He comes back up to you.
Starting point is 02:43:10 You're like, no, I get to fight another day. I look like brutal people. I'm not going to fight unless I know I can win. We're not about to like put our dupes up at this bar. I was 100% going to lose. I've seen too many YouTube videos. I literally just watched a video today where one guy knows how to fight
Starting point is 02:43:31 and the other guy does it and it becomes so apparent right away it becomes so apparent right away he's like popping in and like jabbing him in the nose and then getting distance and he's like, oh oh you're bleeding a little huh? He comes back in one two. Oh ho ho ho! Oh how'd you like a little teep kick to the gut?
Starting point is 02:43:45 And the other guy like doesn't he can't read the room I guess and just ends up the shit beating out of him. You get beaten death in the streets if you fuck up with the wrong person because, like, maybe they don't do the gentlemanly thing and get off you after you're unconscious. Maybe they slam your head into the concrete. A hockey guy would, though.
Starting point is 02:44:04 A hockey guy fighter isn't going to beat you up once you're on the ground. They already, like, getting you on the ground. Oh, the ref will get in there. And the hockey world is winning. Like, you, that was the win point. Sometimes that's a bad measure, though, right? Like, a guy clearly wins on the feet,
Starting point is 02:44:20 but the other guy wins the takedown. the guy that wins the takedown is usually defined as the fight winner but it that's true because you're I dislike that when I'll see like hockey fight highlights and it's like some dude just feeding a guy like eight fists and then the guy getting fed like leans on him and happens to take him down because you're you're still on ice it's hard to balance and then they'll be like oh you know oh Stevenson like took him down at the end so he's kind of the winner it's like no like you can see his teeth like this guy like panicked and like tried to drag him to the ground because he was being beaten so handily that that was his only option yeah can you decline a fight in hockey like at the pro level do you just say nah uh yes the way it works in pro hockey is and usually the decline is because like they have someone like me out there my skill level being like hey soon Sidney Crosby, pussy, you want to fight?
Starting point is 02:45:26 And then I'll drop my gloves and try and incite something with a Sidney Crosby level guy. And Sidney Crosby will just skate away. And no one in that circumstance is like, whoa, Sidney Crosby's a pussy. Everyone understands. It's like, no, that was some goon retard trying to bait one of the best players on Earth into spending five minutes in the box. And he correctly skated away. But if you're a goon and that's your role, you cannot turn down a fight. unless you want to spend the rest of your career in the minors.
Starting point is 02:45:55 I saw a goon. I hate to call that. But yeah, I saw a goon and then Forcer talking about how, like, what fighting was like. And it resonated with me so well because he said, maybe in school, you knew you had a fight coming to you at the end of the day. But that guy was going to be waiting for you at the bike racks. Well, that's how it felt for me when I was playing the Montreal, Canadian. that night. I knew that I was going to fight with their
Starting point is 02:46:26 enforcer. It was coming. And I have all the same butterflies in anxieties and fear and it would eat me up inside. I don't know. I might win. I'm a fighter too. But there's no assurances and I'm definitely getting hit. And I was
Starting point is 02:46:42 surprised because they seem outwardly to care as much about fighting as I do about a cloudy day. That it's just a casual whatever no big you want to yeah i was thinking about let's do it and but inside it chewed them up just like it does high school kids yeah and it's scarier than ever because like i think uh mma or ufc rather becoming so big like in the 80s an enforcer was just a big guy who didn't mind getting hit and
Starting point is 02:47:15 wanted to throw hands to be like all right i'm going to protect my guy gretsky that's what my job is here now like you had enforcers like Ryan Reeves who were like trained boxers too and so you could see that I remember I saw a clip of Joe Rogan reacting where he's like oh my god like that this hockey guy like he's turning his hand correctly this guy knows how to fight this guy knows how to punch and so now it's like fighting is even though it's a bit rarer it's more dangerous because none of the people fighting are yeah exactly the skill level so much higher None of the people fighting are just big bruisers. Like, a lot of them also have boxing training and fight experience. So I just had a great idea. So we know about the slap fighting thing that the UFC is pumping money into. I think that's awful. It's pretty gay.
Starting point is 02:48:06 Why do they get? Bigger than soccer and hockey combined. So there's a new sport where they do leg kicks. They trade leg kicks back and forth and just stand and take them. It's called the Joe Lozahn family barbecue. I've seen it in person. like kicking each other like eating brats like ah you son of a bitch literally I wouldn't eat that I'd be so upset I'm trying to watch a sport I definitely shouldn't
Starting point is 02:48:31 participate if you watch a sport that's nothing but hockey fights like put them in their hockey gear and it's but it's a fight on ice I would watch it briefly but like I wouldn't invent like I want to because it's a different martial art marks of fighting is what makes it good I think it's its own martial art in a world one. Yeah. It's over as soon as the takedown happens. So much of it is about controlling your clothing. Actually, you know what's close to a hockey fight? Like those medieval Russian MMA fights, those are kind of close to what hockey fights are like, except like not on ice. Yeah. I mean, the ice part is what really defines the hockey fight. It's like you can't
Starting point is 02:49:17 you can't really do anything once you go to the ground without it being incredibly dangerous in hockey because you have blades on your feet. You can't be picking around. You can go for like three points. Take downs a point. KOs obviously like fights over. But like every time you take them down,
Starting point is 02:49:34 you stand them up again, like over and over. So you got three points. Oh, okay. Double points for goalie fights. Oh, that'd be a division. That'd be a different division. Yeah. I would love the goalie division.
Starting point is 02:49:45 That would be so funny. goalie fights are so hype because like they just look at each other from across the because regular hockey fights just happened kind of like in the spur of the moment right at a face off but like goalie fights are like a special event has been unlocked because there's usually a brawl happening and then the goalies are just like what if we're gonna fucking do over here they start yapping at each other and then they have to go the entire length of the ring to fight so it's like And in my mind, I'm like, done, done, da, done, done, and they get closer to each other. That to me is the peak of hockey, a goalie fight.
Starting point is 02:50:23 I love a goalie fight. You just need to make sure that there's, and what I love a lot about goalie fights is it's always, or at least 95% of the time, one goalie who really, really, really wants to be in a physical altercation and another goalie who's like, well, if it happens, it happens, I'm no, I'm no pussy. It's how it usually goes. You have like a Ron Hextall or a Patrick Waugh or one of these guys who's a lunatic who actually wants to cause physical harm to the other guy. And the other guy just doesn't want to seem like a pussy. And so then he has to skate over and do it. And it's great with goleys because even amongst like NHL players, like the stereotype of goleys is that they're the weirdest person on the team to a to a complete degree. Like they'll ask and be like, you know, oh, I hear a, yeah, the whole Calgary.
Starting point is 02:51:13 grie flames you guys are playing a lot of fortnight what is the the goalie play and they'll be like oh he is um he's good guy but he is um he's uh weird he's weird he's weird guy you know he read books about i don't know some dictator in 30s germany i don't keep up but he read lots of things like he's they're just they're weirdos and so seeing them put in a position where they have to defend themselves physically is entertaining i don't think it would do well as a sport because there's not enough legs for it like the entire
Starting point is 02:51:46 the fact you can't do anything once someone is brought to the ground wrecks any kind of MMA fight thing like or I guess not fully because that's what boxing is right like boxing when they fall they have to stand back up lots of stuff is yeah lots of stuff stands you back up
Starting point is 02:52:02 maybe you're right then wait is UFC the only one that doesn't stand you back up no well I mean there's different mixed martial arts organizations that have a very similar rule set to UFC, but it's full contact and then ground game as well. But of the stricter disciplines, judo goes to the ground. I think they have 30 or 60 seconds and then they stand them up, but they fight on the ground for a minute. Oh, okay. I thought judo was like about throwing people to the ground and then you
Starting point is 02:52:34 got points on like, ha ha, you're on the ground. Once you down there, you follow them down and do stuff to, though. I don't know the rules exactly. I think it depends on the position they land in whether or not they have a minute or two, a minute to go, or they just get the points for the way they'll take down went. I don't know the rules exactly.
Starting point is 02:52:54 Interesting. I don't know why Muaytai isn't more popular in the U.S. because it's like, it's UFC with no ground game. And the practitioners are nasty. I remember this story. I don't remember the guy's names, but this one guy had gone to, like, Thailand.
Starting point is 02:53:09 and trained for like months. And he came back and he was telling everybody he was Bangkok ready. He'd only been going for like a month or two. Roundtree, I think. And he came back with like that head dress that they wear. They like have this like knotted rope on their head. And they got like he had the like the bicep wraps too. Like he's got these these ceremonial thing.
Starting point is 02:53:29 And he came out and put on such a spectacle that the other guy was terrified of him. And just down to the ground like immediately. Like he wasn't even that good. And he was Khalil Roundtree. And he really leveled up his game. And a lot of people might suggest it wasn't the four weeks of moitai training, although that was part of it. It was the four weeks of no USADA testing that really leveled up his game.
Starting point is 02:53:56 And in Thailand, you can find what's, I think, the closest thing to the current Roman Coliseum, because there is like a tourist attraction where they've got some monstrous beast of a Muay fighter. And it's like, what tourists would like to get in here? And if you happen to beat our champion, you win whatever, a thousand bots. I don't know if that's like 50 bucks. But I can't imagine the idea of like, I'm enjoying a sunny weekend in Bangkok. Let me jump into the ring here with this monster who hasn't been eating white people,
Starting point is 02:54:30 Canadians, French people all day. Just drunk guys. He's just fighting drunk guys who are like, I can. probably do this. People do it. And the Muay Thai fighter wins by as much as he has to,
Starting point is 02:54:45 but no more. Like it's a respectable win. Like he could kill you. But he understands. He's in a tickle fight with a toddler. You don't kill that kid. He's putting on a show because he wants there to be an episode
Starting point is 02:55:00 of the show next week when he's there. Like he doesn't want to kill anyone. He doesn't want to make it so no one else plays. One of my very close friends. The guys usually slap. Halfing half of the time. They slap a lot? No, no, no, sorry.
Starting point is 02:55:12 I didn't mean to cut you off to the lie. I was saying that the Muay Thai guy, more often than not when he's fighting, what is usually a drunk guy, is like smiling. He's like, I'm having a good time here too. Okay.
Starting point is 02:55:23 Yeah, and he'll probably even like minimize the damage. He'll like give a little foe hit to be like, you know, that could have been devastating what I just did to you right there, but it's not because this is a tourist. And if you prove you have talent,
Starting point is 02:55:36 I will too. Yeah. My close buddy went to Thailand probably six or seven years ago, and he's the one who was obsessed with MMA for a while. Former Marine, I went and watched a couple of his amateur fights. And he was like, oh, Thailand was crazy, dude. Like, I went to, like, I did this, like, fight camp where I had to go to this gym every morning and they, like, grind you into dust. They work you so hard. And then there would be shows at the gym every night.
Starting point is 02:56:07 and people are sitting around bedding and drinking and doing Thailand things and he's like and they would be like two adults boy i don't know they're just doing Thailand things and he's like and there be like two like grown adults who are like kicking the shit out of each other and then that ends and then i swear to god like two seven-year-old Thai kids get up there and i was like oh this is probably like america it's going to be like a cute exhibition match and he's like no dude I saw a seven-year-old head kick another seven-year-old unconscious, like just in the, just brutal. Wow. Brutalization.
Starting point is 02:56:46 And I was like, oh, man, that's crazy. What else did you do in Thailand? He's like, it was a lot of drinking and fighting. And those guys really know how to party. Oh, yeah. Well, listen, even with all of that stuff, as crazy as that is, it's still nowhere near as stupid as power slap. power slap is is still the dumbest thing that I've ever seen how that is the gay shit imaginable yeah I uh I had to laugh because um uh Dana White was talking about like
Starting point is 02:57:14 hey those guys you know those athletes if you're not good enough to get into real fighting and then if you're not good enough to get into the WWE power slap just come over here come make shit loads of money I'm cares like loads of money he's saying that they are making shit loads of money that was his is obo's word for word quote that you can come to the power slot. I noticed you didn't use any like formal denominations of money. All the
Starting point is 02:57:40 pesos. How many like can we put some metrics on this? Ah, two shitloads and a bundle of money. Yeah, I would never do that. I can't imagine doing that. The people that do it, I don't get it. There's not enough money involved. It boggles
Starting point is 02:57:58 the mind to see them taking that much brain damage for like $10,000 or something. Yeah, if you win, Zach says it's like 10 grand. That's crazy. But below that, he says, reports indicate payments can be around 2,000 to 2,000 per fight.
Starting point is 02:58:15 We've narrowed in on that sentence. There's our shit load. It started 2,000, but on the upside, you could be making anywhere, you know, $2,000. It's crazy. A lot of room to grow. I'm curious, like, with UFC fighters, how much pay is going to go down with the paramount deal
Starting point is 02:58:34 because in WWE, they used to do pay-per-views and the top stars, the rocks, the stone-colds, all the big names, they'd get pay-per-view points, just like UFC fighters. But then they went to a streaming model in 2013, and that disappeared. They were not making their pay-per-view points. The big names were then, like, their base pay was increased,
Starting point is 02:58:56 but pay-per-view points were completely thrown out the windows. I'm curious in UFC how that's going to go over if they do remove paper viewpoints, although I believe you can, you're still going to have to buy some of the cards. I've heard that too. I don't think so. I've heard that, but I haven't seen that from anywhere official. What I've seen is that they'll get, the Paramount gets everything. They get, and four fights a year are broadcast simulcast on CBS. Is it CBS that that's part of the Paramount thing?
Starting point is 02:59:27 I think so. So four fights a year will be simulcast not only on pay-per-view but on CBS and ESPN and all that but I haven't seen anything to suggest that there will be
Starting point is 02:59:38 any more pay-per-views at all going forward. I wonder if they're going to raise the price of Paramount Plus. I have it. I love it. It's got all my Star Trek content and a bunch of other shit too.
Starting point is 02:59:48 But I don't really care about the fighters. If their pay goes down, it's better for the fans. So for fans, this is nothing but positives. This is great. We're going to get everything for one low price.
Starting point is 03:00:01 The current model is pay for an ESPN subscription, which is $12 a month. I bundle it with Hulu and Disney, so I can't even quantify exactly what it cost me, just for the privilege to access their $80 pay-per-views, which is bonkers. It's a terrible business model. For fans, this is going to be great.
Starting point is 03:00:19 This is going to open the UFC up, make it bigger. There'll be more eyes than there have ever been before, and then they're going to cap it off I don't know when it actually kicks in when the first iteration of this will be when the last pay-per-view will be but that White House card next year if that happens
Starting point is 03:00:34 if they have an octagon on the lawn of the White House which is what they keep repeating that is going to be enormous and they will dig up a star of old they will get a Connor McGregor or a John Jones I know that Dana has been
Starting point is 03:00:50 super anti-John Jones but I think he's just mad about what happened and a year can heal all wounds, I think, especially if John doesn't want 30 mil to fight on the white. Maybe he's like, yeah, John, $3 million. $3 million you can be on the White House card. Sure.
Starting point is 03:01:05 You'll get $3 million, but we're not breaking the bank. We're not bringing the Saudis in to help finance your purse. You work for what everybody else works for. His problems with Jones were pretty legit, though. Huge. He's not reliable to headline a big card.
Starting point is 03:01:21 It never has been. He won't be more reliable for this Connor bring the eyeballs has flaws and he's not American for the White House fight but he did always show up Connor will have no issue with immigration
Starting point is 03:01:36 you know that first of all like he's been to the White House he he he vibes right wing and anti-immigration in Ireland and his little bid for presidency there he's plugged into the American conservative network and like Trump you know because we're
Starting point is 03:01:53 at the White House, that's gonna take care of everything. Trouble just be like, oh, we'll get him in here. Well, I'll go pick him up. It wasn't immigration, it was just the idea that the White House should have Americans fighting. Oh, well, they gotta face off against somebody. Yeah, right. Is he gonna be the heel, maybe?
Starting point is 03:02:10 Yeah, he is the heel. He's my heel. If I watch Connor McGregor now, it's not to see if Mystic Mac is back. It's to watch him get his leg broke again. It's to watch him, it's to watch a spoiled, a spoiled, coked up philander sex abuser get put on his
Starting point is 03:02:25 ass. That's why I'm watching now. I used to watch because Mystic Mac knew what was coming. He could see the cards before they were dealt. He didn't just know when he would beat you and how he would beat you or that he would beat you. He knew how he would beat you. He'd explained it to you in days prior. It was
Starting point is 03:02:41 amazing. I love it. With that White House card and sorry coming from the wrestling side of things, would you need to work that so that America comes out on top? You can't have the White House card. 100%. They would have to. They can't have the White House card and have, you know, Cosmots celebrating.
Starting point is 03:02:59 When they do a London card, the British fighters are the favorites in almost every fight, if not every single fight. When they do a Japanese card, you know, go out to Tokyo and put on a fight, suddenly the Japanese fighters look great. It's not fixed. I'm not saying it's fixed. Just that they put an A tier against a C tier, B tier against a D tier. That's classic in Brazil. Yeah, right, in Brazil, Mexico. It goes all the way through.
Starting point is 03:03:23 So when they do the White House card, I would expect that they're not putting Americans as underdogs very often. Put Gaichi in there, Connor. Let him smoke him. Let Gaichi break his fucking face. I was going to be like, are we sure? But, dude, Conner's so out of it now. If Connor could hit Gaichie, he doesn't have the power to KO Gaichi.
Starting point is 03:03:43 So he's going to have to wheel kick Gaichy to get him out of there. And even then, I don't know. I don't know what Connor's power is. He's a brick shit house now. He looks strong. I don't know. Sure. Connor's still scary.
Starting point is 03:03:56 I still think he loses to every fighter in the UFC. Yeah, Gachie destroys. Every male fighter beats Connor. Gachie would hit Connor harder than he's ever been hit before. Gachie would starch Connor. That's what would happen, I think. Gachie would get in there with a big looping punches and nullify any range advantage Connor might have.
Starting point is 03:04:12 It's not like he fights into that karate stance anyway. I don't even know what his stance is. Last time I saw him, his stance was my leg don't work. I mean, your wife's in me DMs. Like, he was, he crippled his last time out. Gaichi is a lightweight. I thought Connor was a different weight, right? So people move around as their careers mature.
Starting point is 03:04:31 Connor started out at 145 pounds. Gaichi has primarily fought at 155 pounds. Connor was the 155 and 145-pound champion. He has fought most recently at sort of a quasi-catch weight of 170, because he's probably walking around 180 or 190. I don't even know what he is these days, because it's been years of steroids, cocaine, and just getting beefy. So he'll fight, they'll just make up a weight, though, to get Connor there.
Starting point is 03:04:57 Like, it won't need to be within a division. Rankings are irrelevant. Connor McGregor's coming. At what weight would he like to compete? Okay, 185 it is. You know, they'll just do that. Okay. Oh, you know, Connor versus DuPlee.
Starting point is 03:05:15 DuPlessy. DuPlessy. That reminds me. I try to get back into UFC. I used to be really, really deep into it. And I chose the Cosmod and DDP card. It was good until the end. Oh, the card was great, but, dude, that main event,
Starting point is 03:05:31 that was a frustrating watch. It was just, and maybe it's because I don't have the love for the game and understand the science behind it, but I'm like, this fucking sucks. So there's layers to that, right? Because there are people who see any ground game stuff. it went just high level jujitsu and they'll poo poo it
Starting point is 03:05:50 they're like come on get up a bunch that's not me I like high level jujitsu I watch jujitsu on YouTube a good bit that uh that uh Ryan Gordon guy or whatever his name is I enjoy watching him fucking roll even if it's an exhibition
Starting point is 03:06:02 it's fun um but but what comzat was doing was very lay and prey to his benefit in his defense du plesi was so big and strong that I it was hard for him to work make damage
Starting point is 03:06:17 of a crucifix that would have been deadly to a smaller, weaker man. Like, DuPlessi was able to, like, turn his head to the side and avoid most of the damage from that really advantageous position that is a crucifix. It's as bad as it sounds. And he just weathered him well because he's so big and strong and has such a gas tank. Anybody else would have been worn out and beaten down and cut apart and smashed. Because that's what Comzot usually does to people. He gets them out of there in nine.
Starting point is 03:06:47 90 seconds. He gets them out of the whole thing in the first round. But DuPlessy was a champion and a good one at that is clearly his wrestling takedown leaves something to be desired though. And like he couldn't get up. He couldn't get up. You know, I think that he was like eight for 11 on takedowns or nine for 11, something like that. He took him down at will, kept him down. If, if DDP had been getting up, he could have been fucking 25 takedowns for 30 or something. Like, he's, he's, was going to just keep taking him down. But I'm with you. The lay and pray nature of it,
Starting point is 03:07:21 the fact that nothing was seemingly happening for huge amounts of time. Around us five minutes. He'd get him down within 40 seconds. And then the next three and a half minutes is just like, all right. All right. Stare at this guy's ass crack for a while
Starting point is 03:07:36 while he tries to face fuck the other guy. Okay, okay, nothing's happened. No one's been hurt. All right. Comes out one's another round. Let's see what they say in the corner. it was dreadful to watch even for I watch all the events
Starting point is 03:07:50 I consider myself an MMA fan and that's not it for me that's that that soured me against the whole sport if I'm being honest I like it really did it's I like your game of throne season eight dude he's he's like a it was a red wedding moment
Starting point is 03:08:06 like that was DDP's the great white hope most the whole UFC's being taken over by these caucus region fellows we'll say well they're still white they're just they have beards we don't care for
Starting point is 03:08:20 they have beards we don't care for I don't care for that kind of beard if I see that kind of beard I want to know a friendly Amish guy not some fucking
Starting point is 03:08:28 Russian Muslim they uh speaking of what what he was suggesting earlier how when they want to get into a market they'll
Starting point is 03:08:34 they'll sort of they'll put a matchup together that is advantageous to getting that market to be happy so China is where the UFC wants to be
Starting point is 03:08:43 they've got Wei she's like a 125 pound women's champion and a good one. She's one of the few female fighters in the world that I look at. I'm like, oh, shit, that's an athlete. She's snappy with her movements. She's, she's technical. She's, she's, like, she's not getting wild ever. She's a machine. This is a well-trained, like, a professional athlete, but there aren't many of those. The other one, they're trying to get, there, there's a Chinese guy who's like, three and O or four-and-o or something like that.
Starting point is 03:09:11 Well, they were like, ha, let's feed Johnny Walker to him. Johnny Walker is the guy who blew his own shoulder out doing the worm that time. Like he's known to be a goofball and a knucklehead. Well, pre-fight Johnny Walker shaves off the top part of his beard like Kamzat. He goes only chin beard and he's like, It's good time. And it just destroys the Chinese guy in front of his crowd. I don't know how much money Dana White lost in that moment,
Starting point is 03:09:40 but it's not substantial. That Chinese market would be worth so much money. and to have goofballed Johnny Walker come in there and just start your like great yellow hope it was a bad look I mean there's fucking one and a half billion of them I'm sure one of the Chinamen can fight really well
Starting point is 03:09:59 it's not working out well for them it's seemingly most of their fighters are of the ethnic minorities um like the Mongolian looking folks or or the South Chinese those are the biggest of the Asians is my understanding are the Mongols like as far as like a height weight average is like they're pretty I don't know
Starting point is 03:10:17 maybe like they're maybe they bred enough with the Russians because I think Russians are tall isn't that right? Like maybe it can be. Yeah it depends man China when they decide to put their mind into a sport
Starting point is 03:10:29 they'll put in a generation worth of effort and they say we'll see you in 20 years and then 20 years will go by and they will dominate this. So MMA's weird in China because they have that their traditional Chinese martial arts
Starting point is 03:10:42 that they want to hang their hats on all that spiritual fucking Wang Ching Qing Wang stick fighting and that those fucking what do you call it when you do the the kata with that wooden thing
Starting point is 03:10:55 Tai Bo is that Wing Chung or something sure wing chung maybe and Tai Chi and like they've got all they've got a lot of they've got a lot of like self-defense and spiritual-esque martial arts that and they didn't wait
Starting point is 03:11:09 they're behind the curve we we learned in like 1992 whenever the UFC really took off, that that was all horse shit. We learned that wrestling, jujitsu, and boxing were the only martial arts you really needed, mix in a couple techniques from Muay Thai and you're there. They're still on that spiritual mumbo-jumbo shit where every now, there's this YouTube guy, he's an MMA guy, and he just goes around beating up Chinese kung fu masters. That's his whole bit. You just watch a 75-year-old Asian man get fucking knocked the fuck out by a 30-year-old MMA star. And it's like, Like, yeah, eat it. Eat your fucking teeth.
Starting point is 03:11:46 What's crazy with those is that like these old masters have no like self-preservation. They hang their hat on this like magical thing, this magical veil that's going to protect them only to just get their nose caved in. Yeah. It is crazy. They seem to believe their own bullshit. Like if I was fighting 12 people at a time using the force and they all fell down, I think I'd know the inside. scoop they seemingly don't yeah yeah i mean after 60 years of that maybe you do start to drink your own coolade where you're like tell a lie like like this guy in particular was after the fact he's become
Starting point is 03:12:26 a joke in china apparently and he uh they don't really know if he's in on the joke anymore or not because he's like oh he only hit me because i let him he only hit me because i let my god down like like all these like silly excuses about why because because it wasn't an it wasn't a fight like the other guy walked up to him and punched him it I mean it was a fight it was like all right fight and the and the MMA guy just walks up and he was wham and it's like knocks him on his ass and that's it
Starting point is 03:12:52 his defense was the force you can imagine how it went yeah you just make fucking you just make palpatine fingers at someone and hope it works out you're pretty close yeah dude what if what if he got
Starting point is 03:13:07 which by the way in Star Wars an actual lightning had came out of his hands like I'd be on board then Has there ever been, like, a bigger flub than, like, not telling Luke about the lightning? That's a dark side of the force power, seemingly. No one said anything. They were like, you must be careful around Vader, Luke. He is unbelievably powerful.
Starting point is 03:13:32 He's great with the lightsaber. And then, like, later that night, like, Obi-Wan's, like, waking up, like, should I have mentioned the lightning finger? I probably should have mentioned that it's a big part of his strategy I don't think Vader had lightning fingers right Emperor Palpatine yeah because if I were Luke I would have been like
Starting point is 03:13:54 whoa this guy's like way stronger than I am yeah he didn't react to it at all when the emperor first does it and like shocks him so badly he collapses in pain he wasn't like the fuck was that oh it burns dad What was that? This is how they keep you from joining our side.
Starting point is 03:14:13 They don't tell you about the cool lightning ability. That would have been like 17-year-old Woody. Nope. No. No, this is gay. I would have pulled the thing I did at the nightclub. I would have taken his helmet and thrown it and changed outfits. He couldn't find it.
Starting point is 03:14:30 Throw his helmet, run the other way. Take off your cloak. That's the move. I'm watching Andor right now, which is the Star Wars. It's the prequel to Rogue One. It's basically the, it's like political and it's like a spy thriller where they're trying to, what it's going to end up being is they're acquiring the plans for the Death Star that eventually Princess Leia sends on to Obi-1 Kenobi and Luke when they're sitting there and the hologram pops up.
Starting point is 03:14:55 You're only hope, you're only hope, Obi-One. It's trying to get those Death Star plans to them, but it's two seasons. I watched it when it came out and I thought it was boring and slow. I think I was just in a bad mood or a funk or something because I've been, just binge watching it this week and it's so good it's really good it's it's not a kids show and i'm loving that so much and it's not overly woke like there there isn't a coven of black lesbian witches making force children which is a thing you're not even making that up that was a thing that's a thing um in this it's like you've got cassian and d'or and like he's he's like undercover
Starting point is 03:15:33 secret agent man and if the if the empire catches him they're going to torture him to death so anytime he's in a tight spot, somebody sees his face. Some guy starts talking like, hey, we could just take the money and leave, me and you. They're in there dealing with their shit. 40 million a piece, eh? He quick draws his fucking blaster pistol and shoots them in the face. And he's the good guy. And I love that. I love that it's dark and it's gritty and it's, nobody's got the force. There's no force lightning. There's no magic. There's no Jedi. They mentioned the emperor a couple times, but it's kind of the way we mentioned Trump. It's like, ah, the emperor
Starting point is 03:16:11 will be hearing of this personally. We don't see him. We don't see any bullshit. It's just political drama, like, and where they're trying to, like, raise money for the rebellion to be. The rebellion's just getting off of its, getting off, getting going.
Starting point is 03:16:27 And it's, it's like spy shit. And I like the spy shit a lot. I know how it ends because Rogue One is the end of this story. The movie, Rogue One, and I think I'm like four episodes into season two there's 12 episodes per season but I highly recommend it I know I shit on it when it came out
Starting point is 03:16:45 but I gave it another chance and it's great it's great is Rogue One the one you liked I feel like you liked one of the new Star Wars movie right It's my favorite Star Wars movie It's my favorite Star Wars movie too It's uh it's and again it's because there's not I think Vader shows up at the end Oh that's the best part of the movie
Starting point is 03:17:03 It's not but like that Because they save him for the end Oh fucking hell dude that's such a fan service moment an earned fan service moment because that's coming down that hallway oh fuck yeah dude they've got the plans and like the hallways full of the good guys and we've got like the secret plans and we got to get them like back down that hallway but vader's coming for us and he's forced choking people he's slamming them into walls he's cutting them in half with his lightsaber he's just steady walking through men while they're just like giving their lives so that the plans can make it
Starting point is 03:17:36 a foot further, a soldier further as the, as the, you know, try to get them out of there. That was a great scene. Yeah, I'm a huge sucker for- Who, there's a, there's a, it's a, it's, it's, I think it's Jude law. I think it, I know what you're talking about, like a big cameo with one of those soldiers. I think it is Jude law. I was going to say the, so I'm a sucker for the droids. And in movies, the things that'll make me, like, tear up and really cry, um, are pets.
Starting point is 03:18:06 who are like there for their master like giving it all giving it what all they got and you know maybe getting hurt or dying for their master and those star wars droids which are essentially robo dogs that love you with personalities like the droid in andor has a stutter and and and like the cassian andor is always a way doing spy shit and the droid he's like well where's cassian that is Cassian coming home? Like he's you know like he's like
Starting point is 03:18:38 cute I'm like I hope nothing happens to that droid and like halfway through it somebody kicks him over and I'm like oh no you didn't you did not kick that fucking droid he is a champion like they've they've raped
Starting point is 03:18:54 they're like trying to rape women they're like murdering children and hanging people in the public square but when they slap the droid around they hurt the droids feelings that was a bit too far it was too far because they're just like it's they're like pure on the inside like they're just good um but there's a really good droid in rogue one that big tall like yeah yeah yeah um yeah those are those are always the moments that that have me fucking tearing up and crying over there's a hide my tears from my girlfriend because i'm
Starting point is 03:19:25 crying over fucking bb8 there's a movie i haven't seen much of it but it reminded me me when you were saying you know like you feel for animals and movies and shows and whatnot there's a movie called good boy the premise of this dude i'm so psyched for that i want to see this really bad for those that that are listening that i don't know i the simple premise is a dog that you guys you you live in a haunted house with the dog and only the dog sees the ghouls and demons and he has no way to communicate to the humans that they're that they are in a house full of the little boys from the grudge yeah like there's like a demon infestation or something like that i didn't watch too much of the trailer
Starting point is 03:20:06 because i don't i i watch enough of a trailer that i'm iffy about to be like oh i'm in and then i'll turn it off because i want any spoilers yeah i want to see what the same thing i did the same thing with weapons the one with all the kids go missing that one i'm saving that one that's going to be good movie too i'm into i love horror but good boys i'm i'm into that i'm into that i'm into that i'm into that i know i'm going to be tearing up if anything happens to that fucking dog it's like even the trailer like you sort of running around with the dog his POV yeah yeah what he's seeing it and you're like oh get out of there boy have you uh gotten a chance to see the new naked gun yet no i'll watch it when it's like free to watch like it's worth it dude if you like the old naked gun movies if you like
Starting point is 03:20:50 slapstick comedy i do i i was howling laughing in the theater there were jokes where it's like oh every male over 30 is laughing like across the theater I don't want to ruin a bit for you because if you're going to watch it but I think it's I think it's a watch if you like that style of humor I really like the first three
Starting point is 03:21:15 I watched them all I was the right age at the time where like I was into Weird Out Yankovic and just parody in general and he's in this movie. That's great. And I like Leslie Nielsen a lot. I didn't see Airplane until I was a man, a mangrown, but as a kid, I liked the naked gun movies. I like those a lot. I like Leslie Nielsen. I like his, he used to be a dramatic actor. And if you go back, there's a, there's several, I watch him in a dramatic role playing it serious, and I can't take him seriously because he's Leslie Nielsen. He's goofy to me. He's airplane. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's He's lethal weapon. So yeah, I'm going to watch it. Liam Neeson's a great choice for that.
Starting point is 03:22:00 And I guess Pam Anderson's having a bit of a career revival. So I'm happy to see her in it too. I don't know how true this is. I just took it at face value from my girlfriend. Okay, so that is true. They start dating because of the filming of Naked Gunn? That's kind of cute, man. I think he had been single for a long time because of the death of his wife, right?
Starting point is 03:22:19 Yeah. His wife died and he'd been single for like 15 or 20 years or something. and they've started dating he and Pam Anderson, which is kind of a sweet story. Keanu Reeves is a similar situation where I believe his wife or fiance died like terribly and then he's
Starting point is 03:22:35 sort of been single ever since maybe. Sad. Hopefully not as sad as hopefully good boy is not sad. I don't want to see that dog die. I don't want to see that dog die, man. They better not kill that fucking.
Starting point is 03:22:53 He can hurry him. a little like have them do that. I hope they kill the dog. Oh, come on. No, I love it when they kill important characters. Plot armor's ruined shows. But not dogs. What, okay, so if you're going to stand on business there, you must hate the Battle of the Bastards because that is the most. Oh, my God. I fucking hate the Battle of the Battle of Bad. It's cool, but if you hate plot armor, fair enough. My fucking God, this guy was dead 10 times over. He made the worst possible decisions plot armor saved him again and again and again at one point was like 10,000 v1 as dumbass fucknard jackass idiot runs out there to like what save his dead brother or something and then he's like oh by
Starting point is 03:23:37 god what did i do because there's 10,000 soldiers and he survives that he survives everything he's being crushed he's in the middle he's in the worst possible spot they save him in the nick of it it is terrible terrible bad writing it is bad all the way through i i can't insult that scene enough you can't follow it there's a jump cut every 1.5 seconds in there so you can't follow so you can't see how this thing is developing this is how you film bad fight scenes jump cut jump cut jump cut jump cut jump cut watch it again and just say the words jump cut every time there's a jump cut and and it sounds like i just did It is, it is one of the worst cinematic scenes in, ever filmed. There's no disagreeing with every single word you just said.
Starting point is 03:24:25 I still thought it was fucking awesome. So, you know, you like it. If it's fun, it's fun, but walking dead was a bad show. I like the second. After season seven, it was a bad show, I would argue. Oh, I disagree, Woody. The whispers arc, I thought was very good. I thought it, I thought it brought back the anyone could die aspect.
Starting point is 03:24:46 of the Walking Dead. And I love that. I never left. Like important characters were murdered all the way to the end. And I really I was going to say Walking Dead strength
Starting point is 03:24:59 was the fact that nobody was safe. When you see these people surrounded by walkers, this could be it. Sometimes it happens kind of unceremoniously and just she's cooked.
Starting point is 03:25:13 And that was like, Carl, right? Like when Carl died, spoiler it wasn't like you know the worst of the worst it wasn't like um remember when they killed the the the girl everyone loved in Game of Thrones she was young she led like the mortimer's or something like that you guys remember this and she was at Kyle you're yeah the young man girl yeah yeah yeah she got a special send-offs this four-foot nothing chick was
Starting point is 03:25:45 single-handedly fighting a zombie giant or something. Not Carl. Carl just got nipped on the ribs by some random zombie because he let his guard down for a second. And now this guy who's been on the show for nine seasons is gone. Walking Dead delivered on the
Starting point is 03:26:01 lack of plot armor. And that's the praise I'm trying to give it. They should have just taking his arm like take his arm or something. Like don't kill him. You can't get when they killed off Carl and Rick. That was the show. That was the show for me
Starting point is 03:26:17 because for me it was the Rick and Carl show and I needed like you could kill Rick but you can't kill Carl. Like Carl is supposed to be He's Rick's motivation. Well he's also like the next generation. He's that generation of kids who don't really remember as much before the Walker's is after and
Starting point is 03:26:35 you sort of see what it's like to come of age within this awful world and what that's turned Carl into. Carl had the makings of ultimate bad assery. You took his eyes away and he was still a badass he's jumping out of the back of that box truck with an m16 to kill nighan like he should have just smoked nigan delivered his little sister judith and then murdered her his mom before she became that's fucking bad ass he's like oh yeah so we had to give mom kind
Starting point is 03:27:02 of an amateur c-section and then we popped her one in the head because we knew what was coming that he's he murdered he was murdering people there was a in season at the prison season there was a part where they were at war with the governor and his folks and some young governor troop wandered into Carl's perimeter and Carl and the old man sort of had the kid like hey don't you move and Carl was like ever again
Starting point is 03:27:26 and the old guy's like the fuck you just executed him and he's like one less problem to deal with and I'm thinking like yeah it is one less problem to deal with now go get some motorcycle leathers quick yeah Carl with the closet the body cam was off dude that was that was that type of
Starting point is 03:27:44 execution. Yeah. Dude, I have my... Judith becomes pretty badass. I have my... I quit watching after Rick, after Rick disappeared.
Starting point is 03:27:52 Right, so you don't know. But like I watched that and then I watch those who live, which is the spinoff with Michone and Rick. And Judith plays a little part in that. And she becomes pretty cool. She's right there with like Maggie or something. I never liked Michelle very much. You know,
Starting point is 03:28:08 Daryl Dixon's in like France doing shit. And Negan and Maggie are in New York doing shit. Like currently. in 2025 i i know what i liked about walking dead and i don't have nearly the expertise you guys do that one eccentric lunatic who like had a tiger and said he was king oh is ezekiel rocks i loved that guy he was so great he would like he wanted to like be a king but then things would happen where that required some empathy and it was like he was always sweet and nice and like trying to help. And it was like, oh, this guy does not have what it takes to be king. He's too nice. He's
Starting point is 03:28:48 too like, he took the mask off in one of the episodes. I think he might have been talking to Carol. He's like, I'm an actor. I was in like Shakespeare before this. That's what the lion is all about. But these people needed a king. So here I am with my dumb ass lion pretending to be a king. And like, but with Carol, he was the real him. And that guy was sweet. I liked Ezekiel. Carol's my favorite character. I liked Carol a lot.
Starting point is 03:29:18 I never liked Michone. The weird, she wasn't interesting and also, like, the weird insistence on, like, swords and being like, acting as though she was, like, defeating a samurai regularly after chopping the head off of a largely non-santient being, was like, calm the fuck down. You lose her. Like, I didn't like her. The katanas were a pretty good weapon, I thought. What would your weapon of choice be?
Starting point is 03:29:45 I would use a katana's too, but I wouldn't be fucking showboating about it. Every time I chop the head off of someone, I wouldn't go into like Japan stance. Yeah. Well, but you're right. There was some showboating for sure.
Starting point is 03:29:57 I would have a piece of a rebar would get it done. In terms of like a sword, I feel like you'd want something that's more puncturing as opposed to slicing. I feel like slicing and this might be overthinking it. I think that's a great way to get blood on yourself and eventually get fucking sick. That seemingly doesn't affect them.
Starting point is 03:30:16 But I always think that too. Like don't get in your eyes, but they do frequently and it doesn't seem to matter. You'd want a Ruger 1022 with a suppressor on it and a ton of magazines on you. So you could just... I didn't know that was an option. That's always an option.
Starting point is 03:30:30 They're in Atlanta. Like you want... Who kills a zombie? I guess it's absolutely. Put it right through their head. Oh, Ruger 1022. Big magazines. I don't know what those mags go up to.
Starting point is 03:30:42 Made like me would shake off for Ruger 1022. 35 round round. No, men like me. Magazines. Laser, bunch of mags on you. You get a poking stick as well. You got an AR-15 to deal with humans if you run into them. And then you wear motorcycle letters or get some chain mail.
Starting point is 03:31:01 They make chain mail. You can get it on Amazon. I do dislike that they made it seem like a six-shooter revolver and a crossbow are the ultimate zombie apocalypse weapons. The worst possible weapons. Right. The Python 44 Magnum. Like the loudest gun I can think of with only six rounds.
Starting point is 03:31:21 That is so inconvenient. That's right. What is that, Kyle? That's how Rick holds his gun. He holds it sideways? Yes, he's always like holding it sideways like this all loose. He was going to call. You know who I also liked in that show was that old man.
Starting point is 03:31:39 from season two where he was like well there's a whole bunch of nonsense going on out there but here on him on my farm we're mostly maintaining pretty well and then fucking coral and the gang shows up and suddenly it's like I'm supposed to be siding with Rick
Starting point is 03:31:57 but it's like Rick you are just throwing a barrel of wrenches into the gears that is this guy's somehow still functioning farm like you try to change the power I liked Herschel. You probably forgot the details, but Otis shot a deer, and
Starting point is 03:32:15 the bullet went through and through and shot Carl. Herschel was a veterinarian, so Rick and the boys brought his shot son to Herschel desperately saying, hey, is there something you can do? Can you help us? Your team
Starting point is 03:32:31 shot my son. And Herschel, being a good man, is like, yeah, I'll do what I can, but I need some medicine. So how about your buddy, Shane, and Otis go to the school over there where the nurse has some medical supplies that I need to operate on your side. So cool guy Shane and Otis go to get the medical supplies. They get overrun with zombies. Shane shoots Otis. All the zombies go to Otis. Shane brings the medical supplies back to Carl because Shane knew how to make the tough decisions. At least that's the storyline.
Starting point is 03:33:00 The first time I watched this through, I'm thinking Shane's an absolute asshole. The next time I watch it through, I'm like, you know, this is a little more nuanced. because the choice he was making is do we both die or does one of us get back and like all three of them would have died Shane Otis and Carl
Starting point is 03:33:19 instead Shane and Carl survived and Otis was bait Shane was great Shane actually like was the only realist that I recall and I didn't watch it as thoroughly or as many times as you guys but Kyle you're still muted
Starting point is 03:33:32 yeah he was a step ahead Shane was to go he he read the situation right off the bat he was like oh the rules are over there's no more rules anymore this is killer be killed this is split second of like complacency and you're dead and not just you but everybody could die if you go down then then we could all die right here right now just because of like being too soft or thinking this over too much when a bullet will solve it right now and
Starting point is 03:34:03 we all lived to see another day and he was that guy and i appreciated the fuck out of shame he was also get that Lori pussy, Lori, one of the scumbaggiest wives in all of cinema, second only to Walter White's pitch. I was about to ask you, which ones were Skyler or? She gave the money to Ted! She gave the money to Ted! He should have killed her. I'd have had those Mexican twins. Did you see that meme I say you? Yes.
Starting point is 03:34:28 I gave the money to the Israelis. No! Skylar with Trump hair? That's very funny. It made me laugh. Why did she give the money to Ted? I don't remember the reason. Ted owed a bunch of taxes.
Starting point is 03:34:44 And what was the reason for him? The books had been cooked and the IRS was going to come in and Ted was and she was going to be tied up in an IRS investigation and they were going to find Walter's money perhaps. And maybe Ted was going to tell on her somewhat too. And so she gave him the money to like nip that in the bud. But it's like you should have gone to Walter and been like, excuse me, genius husband and a bit of a kerfuffle. housewife here um so i was thinking like that's what should have happened hi hormonal housewife here um wanted to run this by your genius husband how many like like walter is literally a genius
Starting point is 03:35:21 walter had enough problems that was like close to the time walter's a problem solver he's got people on speed dial who can nip ted in the bud where Walt junior was like dad aren't you look at how many people are donating to you and he's just having to be like Like, I made this money. And now I'm having to pretend to be a freeloader. I like to feed the whole purpose of my pride being the driving factor. I like the alternative plot where instead of her solving Ted's problems with the IRS, they bring in like better call Larry, the badass certified public accountant, right?
Starting point is 03:35:58 With a little bit of a crooked streak. And this guy partners with Saul and they get shit done. That's where I like it. And he's very Jewish, so you know, so you know that he knows the numbers. Did you follow up and watch Better Call Saul after Breaking Bad? There's an argument to be made that Better Call Saul is better than Breaking Bad. I'm not one of those people, but I both sound. No, fair enough, fair enough.
Starting point is 03:36:23 I will say pound for pound, the first like four seasons of Better Call Saul are better than the first four seasons of Breaking Bad. But I just adore Breaking Bad season five so much that I think it just puts it above. love Better Call Saul for me, but Better Call Saul is a perfect show. For me, those are my two favorite shows of all time. Breaking Bad immediately right below followed by Better Call Saul. I think they're both amazing pieces of Storytale. Worthy choices for sure.
Starting point is 03:36:49 I like Better Call Saul more, mostly because upon rewatching Breaking Bad, the slow parts were too slow for me. I've gone on and on before getting all upset about the cinematography in Breaking Bad. Yeah. Like watching bullshit through a tailpipe. you're watching a reflection of a car handle you're watching a whole scene through like part of the reflection of a doorknob and you're like oh my god like this is a little grueling can you please just bring the characters into frame the twins murder this this guy in the desert and you only see
Starting point is 03:37:21 it through the reflection of a of like a broken mirror it's too much there was a little bit of that a little bit of that artsy fartcy self-indulgent stuff but yeah breaking bad rocks better call I don't think it was as good as Breaking Bad, but that can also just be like nostalgia. I'm not exaggerating when I say Andor is almost as good as those shows. Like it's Rotten Tomatoes. I think it's Rotten Tomatoes is 96% or something.
Starting point is 03:37:46 Will the Kyle 10 years from now affirm this or is this maybe its own little bit of... No, I really do think so. And also, it's expensive. And it, I think they spent $300 million a season or something like that on Andor. It's beautiful. The special effects are great, like the costumes are amazing.
Starting point is 03:38:04 I didn't like Andor season one, which is what I saw. And it's almost like it's two different seasons. Like before and after they go in the factory of making widgets. Like, there's only one episode with a prison episode? It couldn't have been one episode. Two episodes, like four. Really? I think it's two episodes in the prison with Andy Circus is there at the prison.
Starting point is 03:38:25 He kills it. Andy Circus is like the head prisoner. He's the one telling you how things are. are here in this awful Star Wars prison. I like all of it. There's never a time when they cut to a group of characters because there's maybe six different, like character groups, you know,
Starting point is 03:38:44 spread around that sort of intersect and weave amongst one another. But I'm never like, oh, it's this guy again. I like them all. I'm so into it. As soon as I'm done here, I'm going to sit down with dinner and watch more season two. Yeah. It's been three years, but I,
Starting point is 03:39:02 Do they leave? Is there a lot of show that happens after they get out of the prison? I, so after the prison and Cassian and Cassian has to make his way back home for his mother's funeral. And there's a huge like shootout slash like uprising that happens at his hometown there on Ferris where like the people rise up at his mother's funeral. and all the characters have shown up. They've all come full circle and they're here at this funeral parade
Starting point is 03:39:38 and Cassian's sneaking around and the empire's trying to catch him and that serumy cyril guy who's like super into that incredibly severe blonde lady with the mole on her face. They're both there but they don't know that each other is there and it gets like crazy
Starting point is 03:39:55 when everything explodes and everybody starts killing each other that was a really good episode. I think that's the season finale the 12th episode and then when season two begins it's like one year later so you skip forward and Cassian's like a full
Starting point is 03:40:09 blown like super spy now and he's like the part I'm at right now they're in space France it's just space France everybody they're wearing berets they have French slash German accents and Cassian is there
Starting point is 03:40:25 as like a slightly flamboyant like fabric salesman or a design like a clothes designer and to watch him flip it back and forth he'll be like oh how wonderful it is to be here i've dreamt of coming to gortash my entire life the people that are following me aren't very good at their jobs they're just drawing attention you don't even id me you don't even know who i am i could be i could be working for the empire you gotta get yourself killing i could be french well anyway it's been wonderful being here la la la la it's like he's flipping it back and fourth as he needs to if there's people around and stuff. I know that was a good piece of acting. Um, and again, like the budget is clear. Like you see so much, everything is slick.
Starting point is 03:41:11 The special effects don't, like, draw attention to themselves. All of the little monkey men and like polar bear girls and shit, you're like, oh my God, that looks like a real polar bear man there. All right. They did a good job here. Uh, fourth Whitaker's there. Requel to the Star Wars
Starting point is 03:41:27 universe. So this is, they did, it's two seasons self-contained. And It is the prequel to the movie Rogue One. The movie Rogue One is the prequel to Star Wars Episode 4, A New Hope, which is the one made in the 70s with Luke Scott. Yes. So this all leads right into that with the, you're watching Cassie and Andor become a super spy
Starting point is 03:41:52 and get plugged into the spy network that's being funded by political activists and senators, and it all culminates with them acquiring and things. passing on the building plans for the the first death star and rogue one furthers that it's more of that and then of course in episode four the plans for the death star are given to obi one who's there with luke and they begin their journey to then go and destroy the death star i'm never going to watch any of those star wars movies or shows because it feels like the people i see reviewing it or talking about it like the hardcore star wars fans are always so anti they're like
Starting point is 03:42:31 this is gay it doesn't match up with like the lore of xyz and i'm not familiar enough to even pretend in the star was it's become it's become super woke and weird in a lot of ways i saw the black lesbian thing i literally thought you were joking with me when you brought that up to me the first time and you're like no here's a scene of a bunch of black lesbians being like yeah we can throw the foes i was like okay well this is kind of weird so it's one of those things where like you got to because of Disney Plus it's become very bastardized that business model is weird and wonky
Starting point is 03:43:07 and they greenlit like so many shows there's three seasons of the Mandalorian and like maybe two seasons of Asoka there's something called there's bad batch which is like the spin off of the clone wars that's just the bad batch of clones
Starting point is 03:43:25 each of them's like there's a giant clone and like a sneaky clone instead of being normal they're the bad batch they're like the the the the the mismatched ones yeah yeah that's all animated and then there's um acolyte that's the one with the black witches i think and then there's another one called like spare bones or bare bones or something with jude law i didn't watch that then there's an obi one show that's at least one season maybe two that's just obi one canobie's life um isn't it bizarre how like culture kind of stopped
Starting point is 03:43:56 I'm serious As far as like pop culture Like it just it stopped It was Marvel movies for 25 years Star Wars reimagined They bring back Lord of the Rings And totally bastardize it It didn't stop though
Starting point is 03:44:11 Avatar Avatar Which wasn't even a good movie When I saw that in theaters In high school It was like this is fine I guess But even at the time I was like
Starting point is 03:44:22 This guy with the scarred face is correct Fight for Human we are human whatever is good for humans is good you know what I'm not a fucking blue fairy tree person I don't give a fuck about what's good for them and then that one pussy switches sides fuck him he should be strong from the highest rafters as a traitor I absolute ghoul I'm not joking like I'm not either this is a lot like what I was talking about earlier with like if you really stand back and take a look at it this Lex Luthor situation he's not exactly the villain he's just looking out for you
Starting point is 03:44:56 humanity. The same thing is here. Earth is fucked. The human empire, whatever it is fucked. This new planet is our chance for survival as a species. Turns out there's a bunch of primitive blue motherfuckers trying to live in harmony with their Gaia stand-in mother nature. Well, guess what? We don't have enough fuel to go to a third planet. This is it. We're here. And we didn't bring any peacekeepers. We brought fucking mecks and starships and machine guns. And that pussy turns goes native over some blue pussy it's and it's not even pussy they have sex with their hair it's a cloaca or something there's a cloaca down there or something they don't know what's going on there but i didn't like that one bit like watching that in 2009 or whatever it was
Starting point is 03:45:44 have you seen the sequel we've talked about the sequel it's the one so very quick whales and the sequel the first one was on land the second one the second one is in the ocean i think the third one is going to be in the air or something. They're going to be flying around in like dragonfly hover ships up in the clouds. And then they'll go full avatar and they'll have a fire episode where they go underground, I bet. Because they've planned like six of these fucking movies. And because they keep making
Starting point is 03:46:07 billion to $2 billion each and James Cameron's fielding this thing, they're going to get made. This is what he's doing in perpetuity. Every three years, you get another avatar. There's another one on the way now. But in the second one, they're in the ocean. Dude, there are sentient whales. Their blood
Starting point is 03:46:23 is the key to immortality. Taylor. It de-ages you and makes you like 25-year-old prime, no dent in your ass Taylor again. Like sick. Yes. Split squatting my way out of the dent in the ass, but anyway, continue.
Starting point is 03:46:41 I know that. I know that every time. I just like to let the ladies out there know. You can just fucking razz in there. But no, there are these, and we're supposed to feel sorry for the whales. We're supposed to identify with the whales and be like, oh, don't harpoon those whales. they're sentient they have families and the whole time i'm thinking like you're telling me their blood
Starting point is 03:47:00 makes us live forever like forever ever like 800 years and shit oh they're sentient dude that i could be looking into its eye and it could be like taylor please no and height the eye right the eyeball because i'd be like we're i'm doing this for humans we're giving this to humans now and i'm team human because if you're not on your own fucking species team you're an enemy yes genocide is only bad against other humans it's not bad as a concept yes some things need to go some things need to go wasps i declare genocide on all the wasps since i declare genocide on bb8 just to fuck with kyle i didn't like b he's the bad he's the soccer ball one that rolls around the sand well whatever android you like from and or how's you getting a grip in that sand
Starting point is 03:47:48 fuck that android i never what i never understood about avatar and maybe it's my circles i think other movies that made as much money as Avatar, and I can picture in like college rooms, people with posters. I can, I can visibly see the cultural impact of those movies that made as much money or about as much money as Avatar. I've never seen an ounce of cultural influence from Avatar. There's none. I, so I've been beating that same drum for, okay. Yeah, guess how much Avatar two made in the box office? I'll guess one point six million. One point six. I'll go 2.3 billion. Well, you just nailed it.
Starting point is 03:48:29 He nailed it. It's 2.3 billion. I was going to say like 900 million. I thought it would be less popular because nobody has no cultural presence. I don't think Superman cracked a half a billion. If it did, maybe worldwide, maybe it, like, slowly crept there. This thing made almost five times what Superman made with its, like, incredible push. I bet Cameron's got some of those Epstein videos. Maybe this is laundering.
Starting point is 03:48:51 He makes amazing movies, Taylor. He made Terminator 2. Yeah. Who is that one guy, the director who's known for lens flare? Like, what if he had some of the esteem videos and you couldn't tell because he added lens for it? It's not Michael Bay. Michael Bay.
Starting point is 03:49:11 It's not Snyder either. Michael Bay is the Transformers guy. That's all I know him from. Are you talking about the Inception guy? Who is the name? J.J. Abrams. J.J. Abrams is the lens flare guy. who did uh who did inception uh the oh scott christopher no actually christopher no one thank you
Starting point is 03:49:32 that inception came out the same summer as shutter island and everyone was like fanatical over inception and i went with my buddies in college and saw both and i feel like i was the only person then and now who's like shutter island is 10 times the better movie than inception and blood diamond was like a year before. DeCaprio was knocking out of the park. Nobody ever talks about Blood Diamond. It's great great. It's really good. Shutter Island, I think you can watch
Starting point is 03:50:02 Shutter Island twice. The first time you don't know what's happening until the end, the second time you watch it with the idea of what's actually happening and you see all the little, you're like oh. That's fair. I know they're always lighting his cigarettes. What's going on there? I'm not kidding. I swear to God,
Starting point is 03:50:18 Inception had a bigger cultural impact than Avatar. Just people going, the meme of like making the sound of of inception that thing spinning around the top any anything was like you know oh my god it's computerception there's a computer in a computer that was like a joke people made for 10 years yeah it used to be the matrix there's a glitch in the matrix that was the meme but then it turned into inception it's wild how avatar had no cultural footprint but everybody saw it none it's it's crazy how little cultural impact it has had none There are no Avatar memes.
Starting point is 03:50:54 There are no image macros of scenes from Avatar put forth as like funny, you know, reaction. There's nothing, nothing whatsoever. It's a ghost culturally. And it's making $1.6, I'm sorry, $2.3 billion. That's insane. Do you like Chinese people just love it? Like that has to be the explanation, right? Who's, who's watching?
Starting point is 03:51:18 Do they pay for movies? I thought that was, that's what, uh, Or that was my understanding is like that's what drives a lot of movies up now is that they're like hits in China anymore. And then is that not a thing anymore? Well, you see them kowtow to China every chance they get. There's always a fucking random Chinese woman who just shows up in like the Meg movies.
Starting point is 03:51:37 It's like, oh, how are we going to deal with his shock? Better find a Chinese lady. It's like what? Yeah, get a hit now. You have to eat it.
Starting point is 03:51:47 How many of you heard about this? There was a movie that came out recently. It's animated. and I think it's the highest grossing movie ever made. It's Chinese. Do you know what talking about? I have no idea. Is it the K-pop movie that's come out? This animated K-pop movie, I think it is.
Starting point is 03:52:00 It's K-pop demon hunters? I think it's K-pop demon hunters. I haven't seen it, but I've been seeing it everywhere. Interesting. You know, of shows that were culturally. He made like $20 million
Starting point is 03:52:16 dollars its first theater. Oh, it's a Netflix. So that's a Netflix movie that's also in theaters. It made like $20 million. So this new zoo thing has earned over $2 billion, and it's a 2025 movie. What's it called? That's a ton. I'm going to give you a copy paste because this is a hard word.
Starting point is 03:52:34 Do it in Asian voice. Asian voice. I think it's meant to be one word, but this is how it's written. Oh, Dallas Sound Nizal. Knees out. Knees out. okay um anyway they came out like a month ago and it's already done two billion
Starting point is 03:52:54 i'm not sure about this no dollars dollar yes oh dada are yeah it looks like niza was a 2019 and so this is no yeah it's the sequel the sequel i'm seeing it here uh at 2.1 billion dollars that's crazy u.s dollars just clarify directed by esteemed director
Starting point is 03:53:18 Yu Yang which is like me writing a Chinese guy's name like Yu Yang Yeah apparently American audiences hate it Like it leans on it Well one it leans on some fairy tales and shit That we don't have any background with
Starting point is 03:53:32 And I guess it hits like trope after trope And what I read was that the Chinese sense of humor Really loves hearing like the same joke again and again Whereas Americans are like This rehashed hack bullshit We need novelty so here's a theory since it's
Starting point is 03:53:53 made all of its money domestically could the Chinese be cooking the books it's a solid theory would they bother yes something like this hammering got a topple the American icon Cameron yeah yeah because I remember
Starting point is 03:54:08 hearing about maybe Xi being so upset about Kung Fu Panda and all the money it made because it's like they're too most culturally significant stereotypes. Kung Fu and pandas. That's their shit.
Starting point is 03:54:23 And the Americans made a movie called Kung Fu Panda, and it's a multi-billion dollar franchise. Yeah, I think you're cooking the books, man. It's awful. You know, like if it made a billion, you might be like, oh, wow, weird sense of humor over there, huh? But $2 billion?
Starting point is 03:54:43 Yeah, they don't have honest accounting like American Hollywood. Yeah, but they go the other way. They inflate their cost to deflate profits so they don't have to pay percentages and stuff. You're half right. They shift shit around. Do you guys think that GTA 6 will break the entertainment record like GTA 5 did? I'm interested in that.
Starting point is 03:55:06 Jackie and I are watching Grand Theft Auto YouTube videos at this point. And I'm like, should I pick that game up? I think I might pick it up prior to six dropping just as a way to like. Which one? GTA 5? Yeah. I played GTA 5 for like 15 minutes. I obeyed every traffic wall and made them on Monday video. It was kind of funny.
Starting point is 03:55:26 That's the end. That's all I've done. It's a good game. It's a good game. And you can literally, at this point, play it on like a smart refrigerator if you really want to do. Yeah,
Starting point is 03:55:36 you just play as Trevor, the crazy meth head who lives in a trailer park. Best character by far in that. GTS5 was great. Don't they have role play servers? I think they have role play. You have like cops and robbers essentially, like people playing the roles. And I've seen people like pull each other over and they stop to get their ticket and stuff.
Starting point is 03:55:58 There's a ton of money in those servers. I'm curious, Woody as a Woody craft guy, when you got into like the servers of Minecraft, had you been around for the height of GTA role play servers, would you have dipped your toes in there? Probably. Yeah, I could see doing that instead. I used to think about Gary's mod sometimes too or Rust as a place that had potential for making money. I remember my buddy played Gary's Mod
Starting point is 03:56:25 and I would go over to his house and we were like in middle school and he'd be like, check out what I can do in Gary's Mod. This is the only exposure I have to that game. He'd be like, I can walk up to this wall and I can hit paint and look, there's a picture of a pussy on it now. So he was just going around like putting pussies. And I was like, all right, well, like is there a score or maybe like a way you win no i don't know how russ differentiates itself
Starting point is 03:56:52 is better and i drew a lot of attack a lot of attention from bad people you know dedossers hackers cyber criminals etc so like it was just so much harder for me than it would be from unnamed russ server owner the other one that uh people make games for is roblocks did you guys see that they are banning pedophile hunters on roblox people that trying to find and out pedophiles on Roblox are being banned instead of the actual pedophiles. They're banning the hunters instead of the
Starting point is 03:57:25 vigilantes. They're banning the pedophile vigilante hunters. That doesn't help the only representation in my mind of Roblox, which is that it's like a joke that this is a place where like kids play games and pedophiles target them. That's all I know about Roblox. What is it? Is it like Minecraft, but I think it's kind of like a Gary's mod
Starting point is 03:57:48 where there's a ton of games that people and developers can make off of the assets that are already there. Okay. Oh, so it is kind of a Gary's mod. I would say so. That's the closest thing that I would compare it to. Gary's Mod maybe meets Minecraft, but it's like almost entirely all children. I've never touched Roblox in my life. So kind of crazy that they're gunning after the people gunning after pedophiles. That's weird.
Starting point is 03:58:14 It seems like a bad business move. You probably want to get rid of the... It's weird on the surface. I sometimes wonder if there's more to it than we've said. Like maybe these pedophile hunters are causing more problems than they're solving. Yeah. I mean, how many times have we seen, like I remember like drama alert calling out some old runescape guy as this pedophile who was just the most nice runescape player of all time who was just this 70. He was not about to clarify not a pedophile.
Starting point is 03:58:45 Who just wanted to play RuneScape was getting called ever being a pedophile when he never was? Yeah. You got to avoid shit like that. But who knows? I don't know the percent win rate
Starting point is 03:59:00 of random online pedophile hunters. Like, are they hitting it 90% and then 10% of the time they're like, this guy's a pedophile? And he's like, I'm just trying to enjoy my twilight years. The IRL streamer pedophile hunters, that's something to watch. Alex Rose. I'm a fan of that.
Starting point is 03:59:20 I like seeing people get slammed with pumpkins at Walmart. I got to admit, I like that the problem is occasionally. That guy end up being a pedophile, or was that one of the mistakes where some random dude who wasn't a petto got his head crunched by a pumpkin? Dude, I don't know. I all know is they knocked him the fuck out with a pumpkin. That was pretty sick. Never seen that done before. And as someone who's lobbed a pumpkin or two,
Starting point is 03:59:43 I was impressed by his trajectory. He took that dude right to fuck out. I think the guy was there to meet a kid. They always catch him at like Walmart, like trying to meet a kid or something. And it's like so hard to get out of Walmart while you're being called a pedophile and slapped in the face. Yeah, it's hard to get out of any establishment if that's happening to you.
Starting point is 04:00:01 Yeah. Have you seen the one where they alley you punch the pedophile? How does that happen? So it's like a pretty small guy. It looks like a 5 foot two Latino guy. they grab him like toddler style they throw him up in the other air and there's a guy waiting for him
Starting point is 04:00:19 and punches him out of the air okay based based you know we can enjoy I saw the really effeminate maybe Asian guy who they caught one time and he wrecked his like goofy Yaris in the fucking parking lot trying to escape
Starting point is 04:00:37 and they had to like flee the vehicle like he was screaming it's not me it's not me and they're just, they're terrifying. And it must be, I can't imagine what it's like to get caught doing something so fucking repugnant. In your Yaris. I like those videos, though. It's people who deserve an ass whoop and get an ass whoopping.
Starting point is 04:00:58 It's hard not to like. Oh, another show. On Netflix, they did like a six episode thing about the Cowboys, the Dallas Cowboys and Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson. And like, it was really good. um i'm in the sixth episode now it's like the downfall episode is dion sanders play a big role he's in there quite a bit he's interviewed a good bit and there was a season or two there's a season where he was playing for the niners and he ended the the cowboy season and jerry jones was like i got to get me at dion sanders and then they like steals him from the niners pays him
Starting point is 04:01:32 whatever he wants and then they go on and win the super bowl but emitt smith was talking about he's like i left the club one night i wouldn't drunk but i'd had some drinks Look in the mirror, there was the cops. I was like, oh, God. Oh, no. Cop passed me. Gave me an escort home. I said, what the fuck?
Starting point is 04:01:54 We got it made now. It was really good because Jerry Jones gets this huge, like, amount of hate, I think, for ruining the franchise. But as I'm watching it, he won like a, he didn't win. He was talking about, he was like, my mouth. is good at buying money, and I had borrowed up $50 million worth of debt, drilling oil. And I tell you what, I hit this one oil, and he's talking about when he finally hit the oil and how the oil well was, he said, first it started a hollering, and then it started yelling,
Starting point is 04:02:29 and then it started screaming, blowing that black gold everywhere, and that one well made me a hundred million dollars. And I said, I'm going to buy the cowboys. And it was like, this guy was $50 million in debt, hit with this one oil will, and turned that one oil well into owning the Dallas Cowboys, which must be worth like, I don't know, six, nine million. I think it's the most valuable professional sports team. I was going to say that. I don't know what would be worth more. The Boston Celtics are probably worth a lot, but not as much. Well, they were shitty.
Starting point is 04:03:03 Like what they would, like the NFL had an agreement. The NFL team is even fucking close to NFL value. I think you got a little like European soccer teams like Royal Madrid and Barcelona Zach's the Yankees that he wrote a lot Well see it doesn't apply to it
Starting point is 04:03:17 Because Jerry Jones is shitty So the way most of the sports teams do it As you know is The Dallas Cowboys equated For like 80% of all merchandising sales But they still only got 132nd of the money So they were like fuck that
Starting point is 04:03:30 We're doing a deal with Nike The NFL's like no no no We have an NFL wide deal with Reebok Like fuck you We've got to deal with Nike and Pepsi. And they're like, no, we've got to deal with Coca-Cola. Fuck you.
Starting point is 04:03:43 And they sued him and he won. And he won in every way of management. He was like, not only could he keep his sponsorships, he could get more. And so the Dallas Cowboys just signed their own brands for the Cowboys themselves and left the rest of the NFL in the cold. He was amazing at what he was doing. His daughter was like, I put a Nike swoosh everywhere you could imagine. imagine. And I called Daddy and said, Daddy, the stadium has been swished. And you look, and it's
Starting point is 04:04:15 like every step as you go up the stands, another Nike swish, like every, every drink cart soundboard TV screen, just Nike everywhere. So that guys, the Yankees at second and the Warriors at third. The list I found had the Warriors at second and the Yankees and fourth. Are you on the Wikipedia one, Woody? That's not. Yeah, the Forbes one. Yeah. or this this must be newer or i'm sorry the the list that zach is showing must be a bit older because it also says like dallas cowboys 10.1 billion on the list we're looking at it says nine billion here so maybe that's great probably yeah that's crazy i didn't know basketball
Starting point is 04:04:54 would have a team that high up as i'm processing it right the cowboys play 17 games a year right they miss the playoffs all the time 17 games can only earn as you know so much compared to 82 It's shocking how much this list is NFL heavy. Like, in my head, I thought a lot of it would be soccer. Me too. Yeah, Real Madrid on the Forbes list is 12. I can't count down. Yeah, and then there's like La Liga, Premier League, La Liga.
Starting point is 04:05:30 Yeah, in the top 20, there's only three soccer teams. Hmm. I do think the highest paid athlete is, soccer player. I think Rinaldo right now is clearing, I think his deal with $700 million over two years for the Saudi League. I wouldn't doubt that.
Starting point is 04:05:48 Baseball players always earn more than I expect them to. Yeah, but they're usually over like, we've signed Shohei Otani for a billion dollars over 33 years. Like their contract lengths are really, really long. I just told you, Ronaldo, got that in two years.
Starting point is 04:06:03 Yeah, Steph Curry's number two on this list. For pay? Tyson Fury is third Dak Prescott Messy and 5th LeBron at 6th What year is this though? It's the Forbes list from 2025
Starting point is 04:06:18 I believe Because like Athlete salary varies so wildly Year to year Yeah Okay Well I would guess like a LeBron James Steph Curry is making a 156 salary this year
Starting point is 04:06:33 156 mill No There's no way he makes $1.50. Oh, not salary. It's total, total. Oh, yeah. Well, see, that's another thing. Like, are they adding in all the sponsor deals?
Starting point is 04:06:46 It has to be. The max contract in basketball is about $50 million. So he's tripling that. It must have been $1. It's got to be a lot. NBA's first $200 million contract in 2017. He became the first player with two such deals when he inked a four-year, $215 million extension in 21.
Starting point is 04:07:04 he 50 million dollar want 50 million dollar salary plus it was the first player to earn 50 plus who is this step curry curry yeah 51.9 a year so early in his career he was underpaid he was an elite player but i think he had an ankle injury and they didn't pay him as much as you would for someone that good because they were uncertain about his future and that contract kind of hurt his feelings a little bit it was the best he could manage and he went and got a shoe deal with under armor under armor that's it i had an one in my head and i knew it was wrong but he got this under armor shoe deal that was kind of better than everyone else's shoe deal because he was a little competitive and about the like he didn't just sign with nike like so
Starting point is 04:07:48 many people do and the shoe deal turned out to be a whopper and he did really well yeah he he was like the first major signy for under armor and then under armor just went all in on step curry and then he just made bank it is fun going through those lists and like going by year by year because then you can see like, ah, this is the year that Mayweather decided to fight. Oh, this is another year that he decided to fight. He'll fight once and he'll be at the top of the list. With boxing, I never know what's true.
Starting point is 04:08:15 Like, UFC fighters are always underpaid, right? And then you hear him afterwards. They're like, actually Lorenzo called me up, gave me two million, said, thanks, bro. You know, like, then once I fall as a former champ, wasn't making champ money, but they were like, you know what? I think
Starting point is 04:08:31 you should. They wrote me checks on the down. low. Yeah, Cormier, he was on an 80,000, 80,000 deal, 80,000 to show, 80 more to win, and they gave him a million dollars after the fight. And then the next fight, he had, he had a new, he was the champ, and he was defending, and his contract was 300, 300, and that plus his pay-per-viewpoints, he was like seven or 800,000 he had made, and they were like, we'd like to get you to a mill. I feel like you should be earned a million a fight, and they, like, gave him the difference, whatever it took to get him to a mill for the fight. I think Cormier is a special example, though.
Starting point is 04:09:06 He's definitely the golden boy. I heard Shannon Sharp float the idea of when Dana White retires maybe D.C. doing that job. But that's not. Dana White is clearly grooming Lorenzo, I think, for that job. Okay. I used to think Chal Sunnan was the right level of scumbag for that job, scumbag and promoter. Like, he'd be good at that.
Starting point is 04:09:30 He'd be dirty. And now I feel like he's maybe overdoing it on the, scumbag. He'd fill his own pockets. He'd be taking fucking bribes to put people in. Would you like to fight, Ronaldo, or whoever? How about you give me 20% of what
Starting point is 04:09:45 you make? 20% is something you weren't going to make it all unless I make it happen, right? He seems that's how Trump would run the UFC. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Corrupt as fuck. I saw someone found that I was making
Starting point is 04:10:01 fun of Trump's golden, gaudy, decorations two or three weeks ago i was like i was like those are matching sets like you would get at ikea someone on reddit was like they found the ikea like catalog numbers they're like not it wasn't ikea no way right it was it was they were like not only is this thing cost 40 it's gray it's been spray painted gold and hung on the wall of the white house i'm not kidding They took a $40 like wall decoration thing. It looks like a candle holder, but it's not. There is a middle ground because I saw a similar picture that showed the Trump,
Starting point is 04:10:41 you know, Oval Office, and then I saw one with Obama. And the Obama one was like a bland, looked like a catalog, like a just boring, not exquisite, not great. I don't think he was able to get too flamboyant. They're giving him a hard time over the suit. Then we get Trump, who goes too far in the other direction. He's too garish. He's like a Saudi prince level of gold everywhere, from what I can tell. It's not even real gold.
Starting point is 04:11:10 There's a nice middle ground there where we don't want to have boring-ass nonsense like Obama had in his own office. But we also don't need Saudi chic aesthetics. I like Trump is the use. I don't know what his looks like. There should be some gold in. there. We are America. I think it's flexing when you don't need to. I think it's like
Starting point is 04:11:33 you should flex. We're the strongest people on earth. We can flex how much we want. Trillionaires don't wear their gold on the outside, Taylor. Trillionaires don't wear their gold on the outside. That's what I'm saying. There should be just a little bit of gold to make it seem official and nice, but not the absurd, tacky, goche amount.
Starting point is 04:11:50 I would want, put a moon rock in my office. Can you pull this up? Let's flex that. Let's flex something that no one can get, no matter how much money they've got. Here's a new rock. My link back and start from the bottom. That's the most current ones. Rough carpet. That's tough.
Starting point is 04:12:04 That's bad. It is. That's horrible carpet. It's dated. All right. So this is Biden's. Can you magnify it a little? And I like it.
Starting point is 04:12:18 It looks like an American oval office, the right level of taste. And if you go, yeah, let's scroll up a little bit. It's a little plain. Trump's. Oh, this actually I feel like it looks less garish than my memory. Now, this is first term.
Starting point is 04:12:35 Oh, okay. Let's go to the next one. This is Obama's that Taylor didn't like. It's a little plain. I get it, but it's not without class like it is right now. This is W's. I like this one.
Starting point is 04:12:50 I definitely like his curtains more than Obama's. I think the red curtains are a bad decision. I think those gold. curtains look good. I like the carpet. I like the carpet. I like the couches.
Starting point is 04:13:02 I think it works. They should have better couches, too. Those are trash couches. Ooh, who is this? Oh, that's horrible. Look at those couches. That's rough. I'd have the stains.
Starting point is 04:13:12 If the couches were white, I'd like it more. The couches ruin it for me. I don't hate the carpet for the Oval Office. You know, it's obviously theme carpet, but, you know, sure. It's the couches. It's hard to tell. Go to the. HW.
Starting point is 04:13:28 Oh my God. Fuck him. That's awful. It was 89 or something. Who cares? That's terrible, Kyle. Don't offend this. I don't know.
Starting point is 04:13:39 Maybe Robin Egg Blue was in. I like the idea of Donald Trump stealing other team sports trophies like he did with Chelsea, that won the soccer World Cup and just decorating the room with the Stanley Cup with the Larry O'Brien trophy. that's the funniest thing he's done in recent memory like the idea that he would like
Starting point is 04:14:02 speak to the nation and then in the background there might just be the Stanley Cup is very funny he would put his name on it yeah he would have his name etched in
Starting point is 04:14:15 as like you know I don't think you were part of the 1970 why is this silver is this a second place trophy oh this is Nixon's was definitely better than H.W. Bush, but I still, you know, I wouldn't pick this. I don't think it's still like W the most, but I don't hate this. It's a little, a little bold, but. Jimmy Carter just had
Starting point is 04:14:39 peanut hulls all over the floor like a Texas roadhouse. Lyndon B. Johnson. This is the worst one yet, by far. It looked worse than the real picture than it does in this. Terrible. Yeah, I hate these animations anyway. Okay. Okay. Well, anyway, I think we're right about time to wrap it up. Santee, where can everyone find your wonderful wrestling content? Just Google Santi's app and pick whatever social media platform you prefer. I'm on YouTube, Twitch, Instagram. I'm on Facebook.
Starting point is 04:15:11 Apparently, I have a huge Nigerian following there. Don't know how. But just pick whatever platform works for you. We love this man. Check them out. You've got the sponsors. Links in the description, P.K.A. 767. Thank you.

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