Painkiller Already - PKA 771: Captured By The Rapture

Episode Date: September 27, 2025

P.K.A. 771. Me and my two heathens who failed to get captured by the rapture. 90 minutes in, Josh Pof is coming. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by lock and load, Blue Chew and our wonderful, wonderful merchandise. How are you guys doing? Kyle, you were so excited about so many things that we just don't share enthusiasm. I was surprised I wasn't taken to my great reward. I am washed in the blood of the lamp. I thought for sure I was a lock. no no you're staying i think you gave kyle and i each half of your soul like just to prove a point or something i don't even think we had to barter for it and now it was like he just gave it away

now i just have to secure the other half from kyle and then you'll have nothing then i'll have no soul i'll have two souls about that come the end times yeah i i found it hilarious when and look i often suspect when you see little trends like this online. If people don't know, there were a lot of supposed far-right Christian TikTokers who were saying, the end is coming. It has been foretold September 23rd, and we will be raptured and taken on to our great reward. But I think that was being propped up and promoted by like left and center people who wanted to mock and deride them, because nobody in my life, I'll just say, there's plenty of Christians in my life. None of them

were like, rapture's coming. Rapture's coming, Kyle. Did you already burn all your money? and then sell all your earthly belongings, give them to charity, to the mega pastor. Like, nobody was like that. But I did see online plenty of people like, it's coming. Oh, and I came crying. Like, I've been praying to the Lord for a sign. Crying, tears flowing. And here it is.

He's taken me to my great reward. My whole life I've prayed and done everything the way Jesus told me. And now he's taking me to that city of gold in the sky. And I was like, was that on the Sunday, too? I don't remember when it was Because that would be the worst day For a failed rapture is like You've got to go to work

You were all in on like we're done We're out Oh yeah it was two days ago I think I saw some of them saying Ah now it's actually April It's actually April now So we miscalculated But you know math was fuzzy

It happens sometimes But I think you're on the money Like I saw way more people Having fun at their expense Than I saw I didn't actually see a sincere post Of like people celebrating the rapture other than people being like hey just FYI this isn't even vaguely biblical look at

these goofs it's like them like freaking out spazzing I think it's there probably a couple people who believed it and then a lot of people who amplified it and mocked it and that's the party that I fall into I had a blast with it when it comes to biblical stuff as you as you say are you a do you think it's literal do you think that men both of you sure I know I know what you think. Do you think that it's to be read literally, like down to the letter, a mixture of literal and metaphorical, or should it all be taken as learning metaphors and allegories? It's got to be a mix, right? Because clearly there's some literal stuff where it's like, if you don't believe Jesus died on the cross and resurrected, it's like that's kind of the crux of the whole thing.

But then there's also a bunch of allegorical things where it's like, you know, do you really think Noah got swallowed up? by a great fish or do you really think it took seven days as we understand a day to like make everything like a lot of it seems more like just parables and allegorical in that way i believe it unless it's inconvenient to do so at which part that is the fake stuff yes yeah and that's how we do these rapture guys thought it was inconvenient when it was either jesus or like saint peter was like and no one will know the day or the hour but these guys read that and they were like not me though I've got a system they're like sports gamblers

you're like yeah maybe that applied to everybody else but not me I've got a bunch of red string on my bathroom wall and I've figured this motherfucker out yeah that's that's crazy to like and like the if you guys grew up in the audience too like if you grew up in like a Christian environment especially not like a Catholic environment or like orthodox or the more serious ones but more like dispensationalist

which is the belief of like the rapture like disappearing out of your clothes and believing that like the Israel of the Bible was a nation state formed mostly by Britain and then a year 1948 like that thing there was a whole movie that they put on for us at one point where it was yeah left behind it's all series and it was it's a do you know how bad a movie has to be for me to be like going into sunday school and the teacher being like guess what we're watching a movie and being like what snacks in a movie at church holy hell and then they put that on and you're like we could go back to regular church guys

like this is rough this is really brutal thank goodness the pilot of only the co-pilot was Christian or they all would have went down in that fucking movie but that's how it's just it's just your clothes laying there like like you remember those weed commercials

where it's like you're not the same since you started smoking weed and that ladies melted to the couch that's like what their clothes are doing bless I remember seeing like the left behind movies being advertised and it's kind of like Christian rock where you hear a little bit of it on the radio and you're like all right

that's got a nice kick to it and you turn it up and he's like oh I bless your name on high and you're like ah it was not what I was going for that's how left behind was for me because at first it seemed like a 2012 type disaster movie one of one of those like the world is coming to an end

everything's burning like oh shit I love these these are great got some special effects huh no no not so much a lot of sitting and praying I see oh there's not much time left and we're still sitting and praying it is not a good movie I think there's multiple of them I think there's like a I know there's a whole book series I think they like tell what it's like being left behind is it Stephen King or am I crazy no it's not it's the guy from a from like that 80s sitcom Fred Savage right is that who became

Fred Savage might be acting in it but but I don't I can't remember the I would know the writer is it Kurt Cameron Kirk Cameron yes I get those guys I get those guys guys confused because I'm not familiar with either one but Kurt Cameron not him who the fuck is Fred Savage like the Justin Bieber when I was a kid he was really like whatever girl you liked in seventh grade liked Kurt Cameron oh see that Cameron he was he was in what sitcom was it Woody that guy growing pains maybe nobody like this guy what are you kidding I don't know that's not really I think Woody was closer to that era of TV. You were but a babe.

Wouldn't it have been like Joey on Blossom though going, yo? That would have been the guy. Kirk Cameron was the center of growing pains, which I guess was like the top show. He had like this adorableness like a prime Bieber to him.

And I don't know. He looks like a petaple. Zach, show a picture of Kirk Cameron. Be as generous as you care to be. You said he's a pedophile? He looks like one. I don't think he's super religious. They would never do that. Dude, he looks like a friendly guy.

He's just smiling here with kind of like the background you used to get with your family photos at the store. All blurry, yeah. Yeah, all blurry in different colors. He was the it guy of like 1987. Man, the 80s had some wild clothing choices. Yeah, I had a tie like that. Really?

I wore it to my dance. That's sick. You got to pop that back out. mine was black but it was a leather thin tie just like that it was leather Kyle did you agree on the beginning of left behind though because it starts where I remember watching the beginning as a kid and being like oh this is going to be interesting everybody's disappearing off this plane and it was like oh I wonder what else maybe the people who run nuclear power plants are disappearing and

this and that and then like after that one scene it just is like preaching at you And it's like, I really thought we were going to explore the way the world changes with all the disappearing. And it's a little bit of a lifted idea because Stephen King's The Langaleers begins being the exact same way, where everyone on the flight who was asleep, when they awake, everyone who had been awake and not been unconscious has disappeared. Their clothes aren't there. They're gone.

Like your seatmate is gone. Your wife is gone. Your kid is gone. One of the pilots is gone. Like, it's just like left behind. And there was some sort of like magical. evil electrical storm that travels them through time slightly and all the people that weren't on that plane and asleep are gone on earth that's what ends up being there but like it's the

exact same beginning is left behind but you're right it should have been all of the things that fall apart when that significant amount of people just get raptured they should be things like nuclear power plants melting down like militaries and police forces failing like hospitals collapsing it should be shit like that yeah and they didn't explore that at all it's like that was the one in road either in what either end game the after thano snapped and removed half of the universe's population everyone just kind of kept going I mean when Ant Man comes back but I don't remember the global catam well remember when Ant Man comes back and he sort of sees like the memorial walls and

all the missing posters that are like stacked up and like that's sort of the only glimpse you get at like how bad it was and but if you think about it half the population disappearing would be a society collapsing event. We wouldn't just continue to limp along. You remember what COVID was like when everybody stayed home?

It would be that. Everybody would be gone though. Half of the people that you need. It would be way worse. And everyone would be an emotional distress. Everyone would have lost like multiple loved ones. Their children, wives, parents,

what have you. Like everyone would be an emotional wreck. And meanwhile the garbage is terrible economist. He thought we'd be better off with population drain. Did he random? Was it random who he snapped? Oh, that's a terrible system. Only one deal. It wasn't just here. It's the- Iron Man gets to live. I get, it's the whole universe, but he could have like, he could have like planted it out.

He could have segmented it. He would have been like murderers gone. Rapists gone. People who spray paint. People with bumper stickers gone. Like you could have quickly, you know, paired it out and then have a decent world afterward road cyclists gone i was wondering that we're building a list here according to taylor we have murderous rapist and people with bumper stickers and road cyclists and uh the entire chicago black hawks organization they have to get snapped out um who else who else you need to get rid of uh i feel like that's almost motivated by aren't your fear of old miss on the rye It's not that. It's not that. Alabama can go too, I guess. There'd be a lot of beachfront property

that open up to us. We just fly on in there. We make that West Georgia be pretty cool. What if he snaps Georgia out too? He just goes whole deep south. Just take like a certain percentage of the state and it'll be okay. Be more precise. The reason it doesn't make any sense is because in the comics, that wasn't his motivation. And in the movies, his motivation is on Titan, where he's from, which is I think a moon of Jupiter or Saturn, one of those, overpopulation had run rampant and the society had completely collapsed. And so he, in the movies, he's like, I'm going to delete half of the universe's population.

Now there's going to be plenty of room, plenty of food, plenty of energy for that reduced population. But in the comics, he's trying to impress the physical manifestation of death, this sexy lady death, this big titty, leather-wearing woman who is death incarnate. And he thinks if he kills half of everything that's alive, she'll blow him. Spoilers. She does not give a fuck. She, she, like, snubs him and friend zones him hard. And it's explored in multiple comics how, like, even after, they even go, like, there's

some time travel in one of them and, like, like, super future Thanos from 10 million years, like, brings Thanos back to his future. And he's like, just drop it. It's been 10 million years. And she hasn't given us any poom. Like, she doesn't care at all, dude. He's, like, breaking it down for him. Like, this isn't going to work out.

Oh, man, from what you've described, and I haven't seen that movie, it sounds like the movie actually did it better because, like, him doing it for death is just ridiculous. If anything, that's like forcing death to eat a giant meal and then subsist on tiny little snacks for a while until the population comes back up. She was probably accustomed to like a nice, steady stream of deaths. Oh, yeah. Death could be cut in half going forward. And also, it's a very funny way to be like cutting the population that clearly got out of control. organically in half and then being like problem solved forever it's like no you're gonna rise back here in like two two thousand years or something right probably even faster

because now we're going through all that horseshit times it's terrible solution but it gets you to like you know the crux of the issue you just got to look past it I'm sure there's plenty of plot holes in that we talked about the plane and the pilot disappearing could you land a plane yeah if you had to I could lie to the passengers at I'm panicking. Dude, not only would I lie to the passengers as I'm landing the plane well, but I put on my pilot's voice and you would feel, like, hey, we're coming on down out of 25,000 feet here.

This is passenger 37E. I'm seeing some winds coming out of the Northwest Quadrant, but those won't be any problem at all. We'll add a little flap there. The pilot drops dead right on the spot. Yeah. They ask you if you'd like to give a go because someone's got to try. Yeah, I'll give it a go.

I'll be like, I've done it before. that would be me I walk the plane the water the sea water you're seeing isn't as close as it looks you're not answering the question yeah I would give it my

I would give it to go that wasn't the question either I don't think I could do it well like I think I could probably crap no I would I would if you get close enough can they take over is that something that they can do

you're landing the plane but they're on the they're on the radio with you coach with his dying breath he goes these are the important but and then I know I know it's a bunch of switches and they all look the wrong way

yeah this is a lot of most of this is well they don't tell you is most of this is the radio this is for XM you just I would I would need to know the wheel button which I imagine is very clearly labeled and then I would use the joystick

landing gear the wheel button I read this thing I don't know if it's true but they said something like 97% of men think they could land the plane in case of an emergency see, but fewer than 3% could. And I was like, man, I think I fall into the 97.

I think I'm there too. I know a little more about it. I've done it in a Cessna. And of course, I've landed a paramotor, which is pretty far from a 747, but a thousand times. And I'm like, well, I get the basic idea of sort of trading airspeed for altitude. And okay, okay. And if they're coaching me, could I do it?

Yes. Probably not. Yes. But I think I could. I would be like trying to destroy the black box so they couldn't hear my last moments of crying. Zach, give us a picture of like an airliner's dashboard. The thing that Kyle says is so easy. It's a lot of buttons, dude.

So I've watched videos of people being talked down by air traffic control before and they'll be like, do you know how to like trim the whatever the fuck? And they're like, no, I haven't done that yet. I'm like, all right, it's no problem. We'll just reduce speed with the flaps then or like whatever. Like it doesn't have to be perfect. We've just got to make it to the ground and land this thing. Like you said, I've landed a Sessna, too. The flaps, I know which one that is.

Well, he's going to tell you, like, you're going to be sitting in that seat, right? And he's going to be like, all right, see the big thing that with a, that's got three posts and a silver handle on top? That's your... Have you ever done that thing where someone tells you like, all right, first draw a circle, then under that draw a triangle. okay adjacent to the triangle draw a square and then see if your picture matches the one i'm trying to get you to draw it looks nothing like it right yeah i mean that could very well have knobs and like count the numbers of not like all right start on the right side of the panel in the top right quadrant now you're going to go four buttons to the left and one down that's your lights okay flick like i

now i would say this if they're like quick get in here and i sit down and they're like the guy's like, all right, reduce speed to 300 knots immediately and lower your altitude to 3,200 feet. I exaggerated my piloting skills. I'd make the most of it. I'd be like, I'm going to send my stewardesses around and collect the shirts. I'm going to start serving the in-flight meal and being like, I'm going to need, we're making a large parachute, I'm going to need all the women age 40 and below to turn in their shirts. we're going to

except for you you keep yours on you keep yours on ma'am I said the one in 5A I passed on the way here you keep it Taylor why don't we go 18 to 40 18 to 40 just say yeah I've noticed mishapened my airline policy

I was brought to my attention immediately apologize for that but we're all going to die anyway so I have no I'm 100% sure I could do it as long as there's like weird things going on where we're incredibly rushed. If we've got like 20, 30 minutes to go over this, it's not going to be a problem at all. You don't. It's urgent. The time is nigh. 10 minutes.

Even then, even at 10 minutes. I bet there's only four things that I actually need to touch. I probably need to like slow the engines down. I need to lower the landing gear and I probably need to apply some level of flaps or something as we're coming in. And of course, I need to get the plane pointed down the runway. But I've seen them talk them through that and you're just literally watching the compass and what it's all digital on a 747 though. It's going to be this video game readout system. It's going to be so easy. You're like just frantically matching buttons. Like what is it saying? It says software update in progress. Powerpoint is loading. It's got that little colon parenthesis smile. Which is going to do the last thing that I see. Yeah, no, I think I would

fail because I've never if any of us can succeed at it Woody can because of the Cessna experience but I would still imagine like dude the amount of buttons on the ceiling there enough cut it out someone simplify that there's no way all those are important I bet they do things that aren't vital to landing the plane I bet they do lots of things like that I bet there's lots of ways to turn off oil pumps and and there's all sorts of auxiliary and backup systems and stuff like that but I bet landing the plane once you've got it pointed in the right direction is like four to five inputs like it can't be that hard I've landed in a two like it was super easy it felt like driving a car in the sky you know what I mean like it didn't more like a boat in the sky than anything like it felt easy yeah but it sounds like that is it the Peter principle when you don't know how incompetent you are like he's like dude I landed a plane couldn't have gone any easier by yourself well there was an instructor there

kind of making sure I didn't do anything wrong in the entire way and coaching me so I didn't make any mistakes. Well, you're going to have that too. I don't think I can land a 747 without any help. Like, I 100% need air traffic control in my ear the whole time. I know, but I feel like you did it right one time under ideal conditions. I took off too. I'm ready for, I took off too. And I, I think off sounds easy compared to life. Here, how about this? Do you think you could take off and land that plane the Sessna without help today? No. me too okay well the landing okay now the landing see i don't know the startup sequence and i remember there being lots of turning everything on in the right order and and lots of like maybe there was a

hydraulic thing and there was stuff going on that i wasn't memorizing at all but coming in i remember reducing speed and like messing with the pedals and like maybe some flaps or something but that was it it was just sort of like go in the instructor was fixing the like air to fuel ratio in the carburetor throughout the whole flight. It wasn't something I ever had to worry about. But I would worry if he wasn't there doing it. Yeah, I wouldn't be worried at all. I could totally land one all by myself right now. If you threw me in the air and that says, I totally get her down. No problem. I would use the time while they were. If I just knew what the stall speed was, that would be the only little bit of information. And I think I could figure that out by like fucking around

with the plane like doing laps. I mean, I'd get her down. Like, we haven't left one up there yet. come down. I might be in the grass a little or off to the side. Oh, runway A, I ain't runway B. I'm sorry, but I promised you. Oh, yeah. Dude, I feel like the actual outcome of me

trying to land the 747 is like a week of flags at half-mast. That's what's actually going to happen. Is it just going to be a cataclysm? I wouldn't even hit the... I feel like I'd take out the TGI Fridays in the terminal. Like, I wouldn't even be close to where...

I think it's been done multiple times, but I've never heard of it being failed. You know what I mean? Like someone taking over for a pilot? I've never heard that like, yeah, the pilot got sick and they let the stewardess take over and she killed everybody. She hit a building.

It's always like... I always hear pilots taking over though. Like this is a qualified pilot. It's just not the plane that he's supposed to be on. But it's not, though. There's a lot... Some of the best YouTube videos are the air traffic control audio

of like a kid whose parents have gone hypoxic and now they have to land the plane. And she's like, I don't know, mom's flopping around. back there and they're like all right open the windows that was a really good recording i've heard multiple of those where it's just some dude he's like i don't know how to do that and they're like all right well you don't need to let's just do this instead i'm like yeah that's how i thought it was like i i just don't think it's like uh it's that complicated i think all those switches are stuff

that we're not going to need need to get this thing down and get everybody on the ground they just do that to make you think you can't fly a plane they're protecting of it jobs those guys are drinking on the job and napping all the time look at the percentage of german airline pilots who admit to napping it's the vast majority like they're if they're asleep the computer gets them to and fro and then they do that last little bit they better be switching off on naps i really don't see a problem with it if they're each switching off like exactly almost like hey do you think it's a good idea for the plane i assume these are really long flights right across the atlantic or something is it good for the pilot let's take a little nap so that he's fresher for the landing. Yeah, I'm convinced. Yeah, and I bet the stewardess would loosen him up too. He'd get us there faster. Maybe. Maybe.

Make a smoother landing. And the stewardess is going to pop in probably like every 30 minutes anyway and ask about coffee. So if they're both fall, if they both fall asleep, she'll wake him up. Every 30 minutes is a lot for handies. Do you think the airline stewardesses or horrors like nurses are?

Yes. I would guess I know that, uh, wasn't like patient zero for AIDS a male stewardess a steward you would say Shimpo the first airline orangutan well the first human with it I thought I heard some story that like this guy was

flying around and like imagine a better guy to spread something it's like he's fucking someone in the ass in Austin and then he's doing it in Portland and then he's doing it in Salt Lake City and then he's doing it in L.A. Stewardesses aren't hot like the cliche as they are right but I think traveling like that is

is not a lifestyle that leads to being sexy. You're eating restaurant food all the time. You're never hitting the gym. Your sleep schedules are wreck. It's not something that breeds beautiful people. None of my life. A lot of gay men. I don't think me or Kyle lived at all in the era of like hot stewardesses.

Yeah. Well, they stopped calling them stewardesses at some point. They became flight attendants. And I think that's where there was going to be Hooters was going to have their own airline. Are you aware of this? And they were they were going to have like the Hooters girls as your stewardess is in the air bending over in their short shorts and stuff like that that would have been my airline of choice. I would go on the slutty airline every single time instead of some like smarmy gay man in Atlanta telling me to buckle my safety belt. Like I'm going to, what am you able to fall out of the plane?

What's going to happen? You hit a bump and I'm going to go out the window. What do I need my fucking out of here? You'd get wings instead of peanuts? Wait, you think that you don't need a seatbelt when you fly? Is that what you're saying? Absolutely not. I've no.

I don't know. Well, you need one, you know, if you're a fighter pilot. I guess you've never had big turbulence. I have, but and there's like really big turbulence where I feel like I'm going to fly out of my seat. I'll buckle up. But as we take off from Denver, I'm just going to sit here in this recliner chair and zone out. Like, I don't think you're going to throw me from my seat at as we get to altitude or anything. If we go through a storm.

Sure. I've been moved around. around a good bit and made nervous, but on a smaller plane, and this is like 20 people, not a tiny plane. I've seen people hit their head on the ceiling. Oh, same. I was in that plane with like, it may have had room for 12, but there were eight of us and it was tight. And I was the co-pilot and I had to reach under my seat with my left hand and pull if that makes sense to keep my ass in the chair, even with the seatbelt. And I'm holding the fucking flight plan for this guy because that's what kind of plane we're in. And without a seat belt I'd have been like bounced around the cap and like I'd have I would have just popped up out of my seat I'd have been in the back with everybody else like kitty's poor little cousin was was he had to piss and throw up at the same time so we passed him two bags and he's back there pissing in one bag and vomiting in the other he's green and the plan I'm like there's no way he's getting it in both holes cleanly no way I can't I don't care how bad I have to pee I can hold it to throw up

like I don't need to be coming out of all ends It felt like off-roading competitively. It felt like the driver of an off-road vehicle trying to get us there and win a race. It was so bumpy. And there was zero visibility. Like it was just incoming snow ice like this, like a screensaver.

Just like there was no visibility. It was all instruments and him on the radio and they wouldn't clear us to land. They're like, no, no, you can't come in here. You've got to go on up to blah, blah, blah. And he's like, all right. Do you ever like sitting in the, the I've been on little planes before but I've fortunately never had like horrible turbulence on

those been lucky but the times I've been on big planes and you get those like cabin shaking like stuff like sounds like it's going to fall out of the overhead do you guys also like look around and think like this this is the group of people I might die with yeah yeah I get annoyed when when the women scream and people start like oh oh oh oh oh Because I'm thinking like, just write it out, people. If we die, we die. Like, there's nothing you could do about it. Like, screaming isn't going to help anything other than I'm sitting.

Totally helpless. Yeah, you're totally helpless. So you just accept it. You go with the flow. This isn't even like, I don't know, a scary drive where, like, I mean, technically I could get up there and get a hold of the wheel and take control if I needed to. It's like, no, I'm fucking the back of a 747. It's sit and relax.

It's over. Yeah. What am I supposed to do? March on the cabin with my. box cutter that I always have with me when I'm flying. My travel box cutter? I asked the guy who had a look about him that he had like he was his traveling salesman or something, right?

He's the ultimate in traveling all the time. I was like, how common is this? He's like, this isn't normal. And I was like, so that I was just to justify. Like I just pictured traveling salesman is like he's got a fucking Dyson in his overhead container and he's got like a loose. fitting tie, a wrinkled shirt just like a wrinkled shirt

a loose fitting tie and like a suit that yeah and and his something about his like carry on just seemed perfect, you know, he had it all together. Yeah, he was the one guy with knives. He leans over and he's like, he better pray hard because I'm praying we go down.

I've been logging these away, firing them all off. Yeah, that would suck. I would I would pray that there was someone more qualified than me on board but i guess in the truest sense i would be tied for least possible qualified with i would lie i've done it before i would get in that cockpit i'm making this happen i would tell i'd be telling there would be more qualified pilots closer to the cabin that i would like climb over to get my shot at the yoke i would immediately i'd be like i'd be like a tattletail

i'd be like well miss stevenson uh kyle has never flown a plane ever he's lying Tie him down. My qualifications. I can land a parameder all the time, a model airplane some of the time, and the Cessna wants. You bet that's more than most. 99% of people.

Way more than most. I'm telling you, we have this. It is not a problem. Again, I've heard multiple stories of just Joe Schmo landing a plane when the pilots went out or something, some diabetic coma or whatever. I've never heard of them failing at it.

Like, ah, they tried to let Joe Schmoe, Schmovland, the plane, and they all went down on the fiery ball. That doesn't happen. It's always miracle on the blah, blah, blah. It's not, it wasn't a miracle. I think it's just easy to fucking do, and we're giving these pilots way too much credit. It can't be that easy. They made a movie about that guy Sully in like 2006

or whatever. I think that was his decision making and stuff, right? And he was a pilot. Wait, so there's two different movies maybe. Is that the Denzel Washington movie where he like turns the... The Denzel Washington movie is when he was a raging alcoholic, yet Still a very good pilot.

Sully was a very good pilot. He actually taught like emergency procedures for things that happened to him. He was, he just happened to be the guy that you really want at the helm. Didn't Denzo Washington turn his plane like upside down to save the day or something? I'm not sure. Like he's getting on the plane licked up and they're going to die and he's like, they're like, that's impossible.

And he's like, it's necessary. Like fucking Matthew McConae. Like I'm pretty sure he took. turns the airliner upside down. It does like a barrel roller. How is that useful? I haven't seen the whole movie. I've just seen clips of it because it's a stupid fucking Denso-Washington movie.

I do watch the Equalizer movies, though. Do you watch those where he's like John Wick, Jason Bourne black guy, like older pops gentleman, retired CIA hitman? And he always runs into like Chechen gangsters who want to bully his Home Depot employee friends. And he's just like, yeah, I remember him. Like to me, it's this poor guy keeps running into like eight-year. year olds, adorable kids who need help

to defend themselves from like the Russian mob or something. Yep. It's like, you mess with the wrong child. This one's my friend. He's like really soft-spoken and a little like weird like he's got, he's always timing what everything he does. And so he'll like kill five guys in a room, ninjitsu style,

stabbing them in the ear with pencils and slamming their heads into tables and stuff and then be like, click, click, 12 seconds, getting slow. And then like go about his day. they're fun there's like three of them have you seen mr nobody yeah that's that's okay too it's um what's it better call saw guy um but and he's essentially that same character he's retired cia john wick hit man badass he's a family man now and his his wife and kids don't know that he's that but he keeps running into these scenarios i think the wife might know is she also he

he comes back all beat up and she's like this reminds me of old times if i remember it right she She's just stitching him and stuff. I watched enough episodes of that show, like probably three, to see like, okay, this guy's getting involved in enough altercations that he's at least half to blame at this point. We're talking about Mr. No one. Oh, I thought you were talking about that Australian show where the guy's going around beating people on up. Oh, that's Mr. Inbetween. I mean, he's a literal hitman, so he does get into some fish. Mr. In Between's a tough one because it's like they cast fucking, I don't know, the least tough.

actor to have ever played a role as Jack Reacher. Yeah. Do you ever watch a movie from a different country with like a tough guy? And I'm like, this is not a tough guy in Missouri or Georgia or North Carolina. This guy gets shot in a Bass Pro parking lot for his trouble. But in like fucking, you know, jolly old England, he's like the toughest bloke on the block. Because nobody's got a little bit. Like physically speaking, Mr.

in between isn't super imposing although they do sort of add that isn't super imposing that's like come on he could you beat this guy up could you beat this actor up well he's an older guy and he's smaller so yeah yeah i could probably beat it i don't know he seems like a good boxer like like he might just knock me out like immediately he maybe like he seems like a good boxer and i'm not a good boxer um so like maybe he just beats me up i really wouldn't go i'm way more confident that i can land that airplane, then I can beat up Mr. Inbetween. And also on top of that, the main bit of

scariness that comes from him is, again, his willingness to escalate to ultraviolence, to murder, and his propensity for shooting people with guns. He's always got a fucking shotgun, and he's just like shooting everybody in the face, and it's like, I don't care how tough you are. He's got a 12

gauge. He's just a mean guy. I feel like I've heard that also done with the mob. You know, like, you know, that scene where they lock the door and the bikers are inside. I think it's a Bronx tail. Yeah, you do know. Um, and then, dude, these people that would get winded walking up the driveway to their car are all like beating up these bikers. They have baseball bats. They have, they have like five or six. I, I just don't, look, I'm not combat man, but I can tell you if I'm like bullying a bartender and then all of a sudden

six guidos come out of the back with baseball bats and start. pounding my skull in, I'm probably not going to square up and, like, do well. I don't think I'm going to take anybody down to the ground and, like, secure a triangle choke. I think they're going to beat me in the head with a baseball bat like they did those guys. I agree with you. They're all fat slabs. They look soft. They're fat slabs. They look soft. Some of them are young. Some of them are skinny. There was maybe two in there that looked like they were matched by every single member of the biker club. And I'm not saying that driving a motorcycle makes you tough or that I have some alliance to it. That's not true in the slightest. But these guys were tough. They look pretty

tough to me. And it looked like a total mismatch. But the plot armor made it a mismatch in the wrong direction. Is that what happens in the movie? It's a Italian gang versus a biker gang. So basically this biker game comes into the Italian mob neighborhood and they come in and start disrespecting the bar and the mob boss himself comes in and he's like, why don't you just have you beers and leave and they're like oh yeah that's all we wanted all right good great and then they get their beers and they spray the bartender down continue to disrespect the place and he's like you got to leave and then they're like they won't leave and he's like goes over and locks the door and now use can't leave now use can't leave honestly i don't think there's a single gang that i wouldn't

prefer to lose a fight than the biker gang pick any gang that's ever existed the biker gang has got to be the most annoying, just on a pure annoying basis. Those loud choppers. People are trying to eat their fucking lunch or brunch outside and they're just causing a ruckus. I'm still stuck. I don't understand. There isn't someone you'd rather lose a fight to? So the biker gang is the

person you'd... I would rather the biker gang lose. Whether it's against an Italian gang or like a white supremacist gang or a black gang or MS-13. No, pick any gang against these fucking homos riding their bike. You're so wrong about this. I'm watching the scene. So like,

Because they're rude in public. First of all, the bikers all look like they're 45 or 50 and skinny white dudes. And the mobsters come in, the opening move, there's like maybe six bikers and eight mobsters or something. The opening move, though, is one of the bikers getting sucker punched unconscious. The second move is a fat mobster comes up with a pistol and says nobody move and the bikers try to surrender. He then pistol whips one of the bikers in the face unconscious, while another third fat guy comes with a whole. a chair, like over the head slammed down, knocking another

unconscious, and then a big fatso grabs one of the bikers, and belly squeezes him against a jukebox. That's a little silly. I think that's for comedic relief. A little silly. That's the part I was watching as you talked about it. They made it seem like, this guy's so fucking fat. He couldn't

put his elbows together. And the, he's like barely able to do this. And he like humps him against the bar with his belly fat. 400 pounds coming at you like that? I think you'd be in big trouble, buddy. Oh, my God.

And you say the bikers are in their 40s. I disagree. I think they're in their 30s. But the mobsters are in their 50s. Full of gray hair. They have a gun. They're not using guns. No one gets shot.

He is using a gun. There's one Italian. I see a pipe. I see a bat. I see a gun. And there's just a, it's just a, it's just a, it's just a, it's just a, it's beating them to death with the sticks and clubs and they're outnumbered. There's a pistol whipping again.

He's continuing to hit him with a pistol. This is a poor bar owner. He's the victim in all this. He gets hosed down with like seven beers so that he's not going to get paid for. And then he loses his toupee. And the Italians are like, we'll show him what's what.

Let's destroy the rest of the bar. And then they run in and break the... These people are scary. Like mobsters in general and like the soprano's characters are scary because of their willingness to immediately escalate to ultraviolence. the fact they use weapons they never once do they square up with anyone

and then talk about rules we don't put a cup in and take her shoes off like they stab you in the throat we've had a similar conversation before except the target of my ire was Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci being the toughest guy the toughest mobster and I do kind of get it a little bit because sometimes I think cops think they're super tough

when in reality they're beating up people who aren't resisting or aren't seriously resisting who just want to like not be in super trouble maybe that's what Joe Pesci's doing right and people are giving them a little respect and taking their beating but Joe Pesci can't beat up anybody the dude's five foot nothing

he's old and he's weak and it's like on this show it's like you don't understand he'll stab you with a pen as soon as he'll look at you fuck off he did you stand back out with a pen while he wasn't looking you know so much more about mixed martial arts than me it's not even funny, but if I get to stab you with a pen in the throat when you're still

trying to sip on your drink and then the fight begins, I'm going to, like, you're in like, I'm going to die survival mode. It's a problem because you're formidable. But let's replace you with someone 100 pounds lighter. He can stab just as good. He can stab just as good. You just got to reach up a bit. You could see it coming.

You couldn't. And by the way, when he stabs him in the pen, there was already tension. How are you going to see it coming? the guy wouldn't just be like I'm sure that situation is gone by now we don't have a psychopath who's angry at me because I made a joke that didn't land or something like he's on the word

he insulted Robert De Niro's character Joe Pesci was off to the side so even if he knew that he had beef with De Niro he doesn't know about Pesci Pesci in every scenario is going to ambush him in the throat with a fountain pen and he doesn't just he shanks him like they're in prison until the guy collapses

and then he starts stomping him in the face and of course he's surrounded with backup. It was never going to go any other way. And then the other thing that's scary about Paschie is, he put that guy's head in a vice and squeezed his eyeball out of his head. Like, I'm not worried about fighting Joe Pesci

because he won't fight you. He will stab or shoot you 100% of the time. He will not fight. I will never get to strike him. He won't allow it. What did he do after he stabbed him with the pen? Did he bang his head on the bar or something like that? He banged him on the bar and then

the guy fell because he had been stabbed multiple times and then he started stomping his face into that like you know that metal thing that you can rest your feet on at a bar you know a little you know it's called that he stomped his head into that and if you like ever turned to fight joe pesci fairly i feel like you've got two big italian lugs who are then going to step up and do the actual fighting that's what i was kind of getting it with the police analogy you know where like i don't know cops like muscle a guy into the back of the car and think that the same thing would have happened if he wasn't in a uniform. No, silly, that that guy was some level of compliant. Oh, sure. Like, if you take away, he grabs him by his

collar with his left hand, like a hockey player, and start stabbing his windpipe, like, as fast as he can. And as the band collapses to the ground, he continues stabbing him in the windpipe. Yeah, that guy lacks situational awareness. I think I get, no, okay, number one, absolutely. Like, this It wasn't the first, like, it wasn't like people after this were like, whoa, Joe Pesci's out of control. It was like, no, he's kind of, that's his stabbing pen. Another day. It's like they knew about that. But you're right in that, imagine Joe Pesci works at a furniture store.

Like, it is still that erratic. Like, he gets the shit kicked out of him way before this because he's not gang affiliated. Like, it's, it's the threat of what you do to him. Like, it's not, let's say you beat the tar out of Joe Pesci in that. scene. That's not the end of that. Some bigger, badder guy is going to show up your house and throw a fire bomb. If you beat him with fists, he'll come back with a knife.

You beat him with a knife. He'll come back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him because he'll come for you until he's dead. And it's like, yeah, that's exactly the same. And so Joe businessman who just wants to go to work to see his family, they don't want that business. They don't want that

in their life, this mobster who, like if you were to beat up Joe Pesci, he would be like Robert De Niro in that movie where he rapes the guy's wife and daughter or whatever. What's that? That hot porn movie. Yeah. So it'd be like a Cape Fear. But you call it a hot porno movie.

Yeah, yeah, that adult, that erotic thriller, Cape Fear. Oh, God, because of ending climate. You'd have that guy after you. You'd have that guy who's like driving by your neighborhood like peeking at your daughter. Like, he'd be like, hey, and then he'd disappear. And then you just see a car parked down the street

because his goons watch you at night to make sure you're not talking to the authorities like he would just terrorize your whole existence that was a really good movie yeah that's hot i haven't seen it and it's hot i've never seen it you haven't seen keep fear no i saw the simpsons version though the premise of it is um i think nick nulte plays an attorney with a family and um deniro is a bad guy and he was clearly a bad guy like just he he I think he raped somebody and beat them and killed them or whatever. And Nick Nolte, the attorney, was his defense attorney, and he didn't do everything he could to get him off. Well, De Niro is also a really smart guy.

And in prison, he kind of learns about the law and how it went down. And when he gets out, decides to get his revenge. And the movie continues from there. And Nick Nolte, while he wasn't, I guess what you call an honest attorney, it was his moral code to like sort of lose on purpose. He thought he was doing the right thing. and that's the movie. Yeah. Yeah,

I know all that. And then again, the Simpsons version's pretty good. Pretty fun. Yeah, Situ Bops under the car like De Niro is in the movie, like hanging on, but he's hitting every bump along the way with his head.

De Niro got fit for that movie. And I saw him with his shirt off. I didn't know he could look like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard. They do a really good job in Hollywood of framing those little men as big tough mafiosos. like De Niro, De Niro's just as small as Pesci is.

Yeah, I think he's 5-8, 5-9 or something, probably like 160 pounds, like when he's actually fit. I feel like that. He's way taller than Pesci. Am I crazy? I think Pesci's just a midget. Yeah, Pesci's like five-foot, nothing, I feel like. And then I do know De Niro's short because there's that meme of him in the Irishman wearing those like five-inch lift boots.

Yeah. Five-four and five-tint. And that's a Hollywood five-tenth. So that's probably 5'7. Those guys are all little. Even Tom Cruise. And they make him look pretty formidable. I feel like being six foot might work against you in Hollywood.

Like there's a lot of people you will make look small. Yeah. I think female co-stars, you frame up better for, it's better composition if you're not, if the girl's not coming up to the guys like middle of his chest or something. If they're sort of face to face and they sort of like, embrace and kiss, like, it's just a better composition. I think the whole industry is a little shorter than a lot of people would guess.

Yeah, like, most of my girlfriends have been, like, this tall or, you know, something like that. So it's like, it doesn't, it looks weird in photos. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to shoot a scene well if people were trying to focus on your dialogue and not like, we figured out. Really little lady. Yeah. You'd be sitting. I don't know.

No. But yeah, Joe Pesci's scary. The mob scary. and they won't fight us they won't square up with us they'd have no rules they're criminals in their spare time they're going to terrorize us

and murder us in our sleeps they will that's their job like they wake up and it's like what are we doing today possibly I would be terrified it to have that Joe Pesci character angry at me even the home alone Joe Pesci character I'd be scared up

they'd ruin your life now they'd be like well what you're going to do first Tony is you're going to go make sure this door dash delivery driver gets the wrong amount of soda. See, the thing is, I'll deliberately old it for, because it's by two get to. That would send me into a rage.

Buy to get to. She says this guy's name is Ling Ping. Don't be true. It's a trick he does to try and racially profile himself. I do. It's reverse. Exactly that. Yeah.

I'm hoping that they'll be like, all one of us. That's a, but I picture you come into the door with a rice farmer hat and one of those, those Mickey Rooney glasses being like, oh, hurrah! Dude, I forgot that it had that shit on it. I ordered from like Taco Bell a few months ago and those black ladies at the door. And she's like, are you Mr. Ping? That's me. It was a hospital mix-up. How common is a hospital mix-up?

It must be not very common. I've heard like horror stories about it being common, but it's also like, I feel like you could kind of figure it out. The cool one that happens now is the fertility clinic where the doc impregnates 180 women over the years. Yeah, it turns out you don't become a doctor at a fertility clinic without being a guy who sneaks your own come into the vials. Yeah, same with morticians. Mm-hmm. But I mean, that's a victimless crime. Victimless crime.

That's what I always say, right? Let the man have a little fun. He's got a ghoulish profession down there, putting corks, screws in old men's buttholes and sewing grandma's eyelids back on, put that spiky thing between the eyeball and the eyelids so they won't open up. That shit's awful. Draining people and fill them up

with goo. If there's a nice pair down there, let me get a little honk in. It keeps them off the streets, keeps that ghoulishness down in the basement. You know, keep them away from us. Yeah. You want to honk me a little and go right ahead. Once I'm gone, like throw me, I really feel like Frank. Throw me in the trash.

Does Rigamortis give you a boner? No. I think it's just like your... Or actually, rigor mortis doesn't even last that long, does it? It's like... Correct. It's a temporary thing. It was back.

But then, like, they're going to break you in when you get to the mortician anyway. They're going to start exercising your joints and moving you around. What a terrible job. There's a mortician horror movie that's really good, where they're like, as they're doing the autopsy, they're finding, like, scarier and scarier stuff. Oh, I've seen that. That's a good movie. I don't remember what it's good.

Yeah, like, under her skin, there's, like, runes carved. like as they're dissect they're like someone is carved like all sorts of like weird ruins on the back side of her skin it's like a Norse symbol yeah where it's like oh this is like a you know Loki or Odin

symbol I think that's what this move was about there are a bunch of like creepy Norse symbols of Jane Doe yeah it's really good it's got Brian Cox in it he plays the dad the mortician yeah I really like that movie it was it was creepy I don't know why I like Brian Cox so much I mean he's a good actor

but I feel like because he has the exact same, not face, but the exact same body style as Philip Seymour Hoffman that like, and because Philip Seymour Hoffman is dead, it's like Brian Cox kind of came in a little bit. He'll never be Philip Seymour, but he's still good. Man, that sucks that he died. He was the best. He was. I think it was drugs. Heroin? Maybe a drug overdose. I have heroin in my head. I saw a really sad quote from his son, who I guess is also an actor and he was like you know most people don't know what it's like to like love your father but also have him be your greatest idol in what you're trying to do like i watch my father's movies all the time and i think he's the best actor that's ever lived and a lot of people share that and

just wish he was around to give me tips and pointers and it's like ah that's that's horrible losing why was his father did uh philips seymour the overdose oh oh i misunderstood i thought it was philip seymour hoffman's who's father oh no philips seymour hoffman's kid yeah talking about him Which that sucks. Yeah. I never, ever search movies by actor on like the smart TV function. But except for him, every once in a while, I'll be like, I want to watch a fucking Philip Seymour Hoffman movie.

And then like the master with him in Walking Phoenix is good. They're all good. So there's a movie called The Free State of Jones. I've only seen like little clips of it from like YouTube shorts. But I think it's McConaughey. And I think maybe Philip Seymour Hoffman is in it too. But it's like based during the Civil War, and I think maybe it's Confederates fighting against, or it's Southerners fighting against the Confederacy, maybe. But I think it's McConaughey and Hoffman.

I think it's a true story of some kind of. Again, I've only seen clips of it, but I intend to watch it at some point. It looked good. No, he's not in it. Huh. Maybe he's... He died two years before that came out. Oh, okay.

I thought he was in it. Maybe it's something else I'm getting confused by, because there's definitely a movie where Philip Seymour Hoffman is like, sneaking through a swamp with a bloody nose during the Civil War trying to stay away from soldiers Is Boogie Night's a good movie? I've never seen it. I don't like the subject matter.

It's like that Dirk Diggler guy. It's about some kid being preyed upon to like force or some like young man being preyed upon and like pushed into the porn industry, right? Dirk Diggler. Is that, okay. And one of the most famous porn stars of all time. I had a huge slung.

And I believe the story is his sort of downfall into the porn industry. drugs and eventually like gay prostitution um with uh markey mark playing the the the porn star and i think he's got a i think he shows his cock at one point he's got like a giant fake cock on his cock which must be the funniest fitting ever someone painting fucking um it's a prostate they attach to you like like it's a yeah well i mean they're got to like paint stuff on there to blend it like it's exactly like the special features in lord of the rings where they they put the hobbit feet on yeah the

wetter workshops in there working on Marky Mark's cock. Don't they sell penis extensions or like devices you can wear when you bang? For sure. And they also like that would hurt my feelings if something. It should hurt her feelings.

Hey, hey. My feelings. Can we do the thing where you're hung tonight? I mean, like okay. As long as we can also pretend you're not, you haven't gained 60 pounds. Imagine I got no

I wouldn't bother me at all I'm happy to get out one of my like Magnum crazy toys and ram a lady with those so like I don't see too much of a difference I suppose we're just trying to get her off anywhere like I'm not intimidated by a Hitachi magic wand I just I don't have those functions I'm sorry

I am I can't shake like that I can't vibrate exactly so why would I feel bad And when I try, she says, stop. She's like, you're really good at the noise of, like, putting it on a wooden table. But the vibrations are just the best is the therogun. I'm sure you're aware of the therogun, like the sports massager. Amazon sells knockups for $39.99 that are almost as good.

And you can get a dildo attachment for that thing. Oh, my God. It's just like the orgasmo ray from the orgasmo movie You point that thing at a pussy and she comes It's incredible It's shockingly powerful It sounds like too much to me It has it has like a huge like amount of power settings

So you can turn it all the way down and it's just like I have a theragon and I'm familiar with the power settings And they are all too rough for girl I Yeah It'd be like using a literal jackhammer as a muscle massager Like it breaks bones you know it's almost too hard it's almost too hard for muscles like like you put that on your thigh

after a leg day it's like oh i feel like i just punish myself enough doing this leg day it's not just that round ball like you've got a dildo on the end and so the dildo is just sort of like it's not there's not a big stroke it's it's sort of just like oscillating like a fucking car polisher that's what i was thinking like it doesn't move maybe i just i have the knockoff one that i used like three times ever and it was like i'll just deal with whatever's happening in my Quas, like whatever. But you're right, like the the forward and back movement is like two centimeters. And it's, it just goes so fucking fast. It's the most. Yeah. It's like, it's more of a, it's more of a vibrator than a back and forth stroke. It just kind of like slaps your,

I find the slow mode does more like deeper penetration. Because if you move it so fast, it's like, I don't know, gliding over the top of a pothole. Like you don't really sink into it. But if you slow it down, you'll go up and down a little more. Yeah, yeah. what is this it's this it's the orgasmo ray what the fuck is that's matt stone and trey parker's first movie i think um it never seen this one it's about a Mormon uh missionary who stumbles onto a porn set and like they hire him um inexplicably to be this new uh porno character called orgasmo and he has the orgasmo ray and he like makes bitches come by shooting him with it okay pretty cool yeah is it as good as basketball

nothing is as good as baseball you don't like basketball? I wasn't I wasn't going to say that it was bad I was going to say that it's like not as good as like early seasons of South Park like they're far from hitting their peak there

they probably hit their stride like season four or season five of South Park they really get it. So basketball probably came out in 2003 or something like that like it's that dumb silly goofball humor and it's not trying to rise too much above like Dick jokes and blowjob jokes and stuff like that. I think it's really funny. Like when I was a kid,

I thought it was more funny. And like last time I watched it, I was like, oh, there's some good. Like they made their own lazy boy like ball and everything. Like, but it's a good movie. I like it a lot. There's that great scene where he throws the ball at the kid that's blind. He goes to give the kid a souvenir and it just hits the kid in the face and knocks him out. And she's like, he's blind, Doug. It's fucking great. I remember the first time I saw that. I was like, this is just a less funny version of the dumb and dumber dead bird dumb and dumber dead bird oh oh yeah yeah yeah I have not seen dumb and dumber in decades

I bet it's not as funny as I recall but it was so fucking funny when I was you know 12 so there's jokes that you don't get as a kid that are like in the background and are like wordplay jokes that that you get as an adult so like I watched it a couple years ago and I thought it was still really funny. I get annoyed in movies. I have this weird thing where when money is literally wasted or burned, like to get out of it, it really irks me. I know it's, it's part of a plot that was written by a guy. I know that it's not real money being burned, but I'm just like, don't burn the money. Like there's a, there's in the shield, which is one of my favorite cop dramas with

the chickless, like there's a scene where they, they heist a bunch of money from the Armenian mob and one of the guys is cracking under the pressure because they're cops, and this is a dirty cop kind of deal they've done. And now the mob is catching on to him. They're worried they're going to all be murdered, have their feet chopped off, which is what the Armenian mob does. They cut your feet off with an axe. And so he grabs the million dollars and he's like heaving double handfuls of it into a furnace, like burning all the money. And they're like, I have to quit watching. That's when I do a rewatch, I'm like, that's enough of that. I can't stand it. I felt that way as a kid watching blank check where he like steals a million dollars by typing a name on a check and I remember like

being more annoyed at his purchasing decisions than I was even watching the movie where I'm like I don't even want to know how much he's wasting on this butler you get your own sodas like you really don't need a slide here like you can do all sorts of things with this money like you're not going to want to get rid of all your fun activities in the next week because that's like the whole crux of it at the end where they're like you spent a million dollars in one week or whatever and it's like yeah like someone who the fuck co-signed for this kid to buy a house he had a million dollars oh i guess yeah at the time that was that was a less than a million house yeah but he didn't give him all the money and he had he had money for that limo and the butler

and there may have been some animals hanging around he definitely had a slide at one point yeah that was a silly movie that and that came out around the same time as like dunstan checks in stuff like that looked up dunstan checks in because it may made me think of that movie and the way and what I thought watching that where I'm like, there's no way this guy doesn't know there's a monkey in here. He's making a tremendous amount of noise. Yeah, absolutely. You would know.

Or movies, like, do you ever see Baby's Day Out where the whole movie is just a baby crawling through the city and bumbling bad guys who can't seem to lay hands on an infant? Yeah. The gorilla protects him. The Harambe protects the baby. Did you remember that? Vaguely, it's one of those I haven't seen. I watched my seven.

Isn't it great the kinds of movies you have to go to for me to be like, I've seen that. Terminator 2. No, baby's big day out. Taylor's all about it. What do I think about Dunstan checks in? Well, it's multifaceted. There's a lot to delve into. Were you like in school during the scholastic book fair craze? Did you get into goosebumps or animorphs?

No, I remember goosebumps was like a big. big seller, or not seller, but like, they had limited copies at the grade school library in elementary school. And so those went out quick and it was always the same few kids. The books I liked were, like, it's called, I think the brand was like eyewitness. And they were these big books that would show like cut-throughs of ships and airplanes. Yeah. And then other ones would show like weapons through the ages or guns through the ages or like ancient like metallurgy and things like that. I was always trying to secure those. Yeah. And then like the

you know the dullards. Like coffee table books. They were looking at what is like I don't know like a crossbow and a cataphract and a fucking yeah yeah like stuff like that on the cover. I got really into goosebumps and a little bit into animorse in school. I was just watching a document, a YouTube video about the fall of goosebumps. Because R. L. Stein was the writer

if you remember correctly. And it took off and became this it was the publisher is like is it umbrella or something like that it's the same publisher as Harry Potter but anyway whenever the goosebumps books were so big

it was most of their worth as a company like most of their stock price was tied up in goosebumps and R. L. Stein was supposedly writing two books a month two books a month for years he was putting out like 27 or yeah like 27

books a year or something crazy like that was his contract and uh they accused him of using a ghost writer which nulled their contract and made him fall back to a prior contract that cut him out of all the like ancillary money like from the tv show and the the merchandise and i didn't remember it but it was like like taco bell did and Pepsi did tie-ins deritos did tie-ons where there'd be like little goosebumps books in the bags of chips um they had like a theme park they did movies uh and there was a TV show that did like four or five seasons that I remember watching when I was a kid and by the time they settled other lawsuits Harry Potter had happened and it was like that it was like that a toy story meme it's like I don't want to play with you anymore nobody wanted goosebumps anymore who won the

lawsuits do you know they split like like like I think that Fox won one of their lawsuits against R. L. Stein because uh they were showing a Fox had bought it, but they were showing it on Fox Kids, and he was saying that that's a different network, and so he needed to be double paid. And then R.L. Stein was arguing that he should be paid for those things, but they proved, I think, that he broke his contract by employing Ghostwriters, even if they were just doing outlines for him, which is bullshit.

I don't care. Even if it is, like, simple eight to 12 horror books, like you can't write a book every two weeks without failing at some point. like for years on end. He just kept cranking him out. And I think only the first 16 books he wrote or something like that. But I read all those when I was in, not all those. I read dozens of those when I was in elementary school.

Whenever we did the Scholastic Book Fair, I was super into that. Like I loved like, they had great covers. Like the covers of Goosebump's books were always really inventive and scary, especially it's like an eight-year-old. I can still picture the one of that like goolish, almost like a Grinch hand, except it was like a sinister leaf monster grabbing onto the door leading down to a basement There was a puppet that came back to life

Like a ventriloquist dummy Yeah, I never read a single goosebumps The one they got really The popular TV episode is the girl who She doesn't want, she's getting old enough That she wants an actual scary Halloween costume She doesn't want some cutesy shit And so she goes to the Halloween store

And they're like, well no, you can't have that mask That one's not for sale And she steals it I think and puts it on And it won't come off Like, it's like a monster mask. It's alive itself and it glues to her face. And she's slowly becoming the monster. As an eight-year-old, that was terrifying.

Did you ever read the box car children? Of course. Yeah, yeah. Those were horrible. Whoever wrote that was phoning it in completely. There was never anything at stake. It was like you had to solve a crime or like a guy would have to pay a nominal fine. Well, they were like homeless and lived in an actual box car on a train.

I remember from it that they kept their milk cool by putting the jug in the creek. And I remember thinking, like, there's no way that works. How cold is that water? We're going to dig that jug out tonight and I'll have some bread and milk. Like, we've got to find some sort of social services, guys. Yeah, why is our next mystery? Where'd mom go? Yeah, the box card children in the mystery of the CPS agent who doesn't show up.

And like they're like showing up like wearing like hobo shoes with like the toes open like flaps and no one is like at school being like, you know, we really need to look in on the Smith kids. This is something's not going right at home. No, they don't have a home. They live in a box car. What, they live in a fucking box car? The animorphs, I only read like two or three of those. But since then I've watched videos about just how dark that book series was. It's it's rough stuff.

There's an intergalactic alien war in these. These earthling kids have been given the ability to transform into animals. But if they stay in the form of the animal too long, they get stuck in it. And so, occasionally a character will just get stuck in the body of a hawk. And they're like, yeah, that's Dave now. He forever has to live with his mind merged with that of a hawk. And he is disgusted every time he eats a rat, but he can't control himself. Like, people go insane.

Some of the characters get smushed as like animals. And they're all, yeah, they get destroyed. And a lot of the animals aren't useful. Well, that's the other thing. I think they're fighting against aliens who have like a bigger catalog of animals to draw from because they're from alien worlds. And so they'll show up as like a Tyrannosaurus rex with like fucking breathes fire and shits thunder or something. And the best we've got is a bear or a tiger or something sneaky like a fly or something. yeah or something totally useless like a guinea pig like they there was not there was no utility in some of them i remember and i never read it i just remember seeing the uh the absurd covers it had cover art it was it's it's it's psychotic the cover art of animorphs because that person doesn't even try covers because they're hilarious it's people literally morphing there's one where a black

girl's turning into a starfish really dark books, though. See if you can find this kid turning into a roach. How is that useful? How is that helpful? Well, they're definitely being sneaky. They're like dealing with like an intergalactic alien empire that's always trying to like do some evil. And so there's a lot of sneaking around, I think, and getting evidence and information. Look at it turning into the lizard. He got lazy on this one. There's not even a lizard body. It was turning in the head. The black girl turning in Starfish is my favorite, though. she wasn't black okay I was wrong

I don't think I've ever seen a more useless one than a starfish yeah like maybe she was like staking out an aquarium or something trying to get some info does starfish have brains I don't think so I feel like she could convert to a starfish and then does not have the ability to go back

yeah a gerbil might have a shot at it but not a fly oh rough dolphins not bad whatever that centaur at the bottom is isn't bad. Gorilla's not bad.

He's turning into a whole weird like alien critter. Yeah, these are man, kids would read anything, I guess. This is why Harry Potter took up so well. It's so much.

It's so much better than this. Harry Potter came out. I was like, oh my God, this is fucking great. I still like Harry Potter. I've got friends that are like more well read than me

and I'll mention it occasionally like, you ever read Harry Potter? I think that's a little below me. Fuck you, man. Come on. What books are they talking about when you're like, I've actually got a recommendation. I'm not sure if you've heard of it. It's a little less atyric.

You can be intimidating. I love Harry Potter, watching him go on his little journey and everything. That's a great story. There's some plot holes and there's some weirdness. But I like it a lot. I like that the Asian girl's name is Cho Chang. Yeah? I mean, what's wrong with that?

What's special about Cho Chang? Just that it's an Asian-sounding name? I mean, it's the most Chinese, I just remember her named her ching Chong or something, you know. She's the only Chinese character and her name's Cho Chang. There's lots of racism in there. She's definitely a little anti-Semitic with that depiction of the goblins. There's something going on there. Pretty sure there's a star of David on the floor that place.

So the reason there's a star of David on the floor is because they filmed that scene in an actual bank. I'm serious. How do you think, how should we feel about that? I mean, that is so funny being a banker and being like, I've got an idea for decor. And they're like, oh, a little on the nose. Let's, you know, maybe a regular star, huh? Maybe a different star. Yeah.

Yeah, should it have been like a magical star, like an eight-pointed star or something like that or a six-pointed star or even a pentagram? No, pentagram denotes evil. And they wouldn't, I don't think they were known as like an evil goblin bank that, like, supported the dementers or whatever. ever? I, they literally were. They, you know, they, you know, they, they turned Harry over to Bellatrix Lestrange and ratted them out. They were, they were working with the dark forces there at the end, it seemed, or at least some of them were. Kyle, did you see the thing where Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of War,

called all the generals in for some sort of emergency meeting? He's just drunk dialing. He C-Ced everybody accidentally. He's getting here now, but that was to his fucking keg delivery. It was too as biddy call. Yeah. So my, I haven't done a ton of research, but I have been noticing the buildup in the Caribbean and around Venezuela. They've seen it.

There's a lot of assets down there. They've been practicing beach landings in Puerto Rico. I heard that. They launched an ICBM from a nuclear submarine in the Caribbean yesterday, I think. I saw a video of that. What did they launch it at? Just practice launch into the water? Just practice launching, just showing that we can send a.

nuclear missile with eight, I think it's eight individual nukes in each missile that are independently targeting once they go to space. It's a Merv. I think it's eight in those trident missiles. But launch one of those. And then there's also this craft down there that the seals use and special forces operators use to deploy from. It's sort of a smaller vessel I think that was 160, 170 personnel. They can launch fast craft from it. Well, compared to an aircraft here with 5,000 people on it. I was literally picturing something that you inflate.

This is an American Navy. I think of Navy SEALs arriving. I think of them with the dingy, like, jumping in the waves. Okay. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. So this deploys jet skis and fast attack votes. And probably those, like, cool, like open top submarines. too those are neat um but that's down there uh inexplicably you know it it looks like we're

really flexing hard at venezuela and i i hope that we're not about to start a fucking war venezuela because they said a couple weeks ago they've they've got like a five six million man militia army down there i've lost confidence in our ability to beat anyone we lost to afghanistan we lost to vietnam i don't know if you'd say we lost iraq but like it wasn't easy it turns out that if you go to another country and you want to beat them in their country, it's not easy to get a W. We won the TDM match, though. The team death match part of it?

Yeah, if it's team death match, then we're undefeated, first of all. Like, domination, I'm serious, domination, you know. Look, at some point when you're playing a DOM game, you've accrued enough points in the game's over. But that's not how it works in real life. They just, they live there. they just grind you out. You got to go home eventually. I get that. We certainly didn't change any hearts and minds. But what they

want to do in Venezuela is regime change and then leave. They want to go down there and kill their president. But see, they've got some of that in Afghanistan. They've already got... Ten other times regime change has failed. But they've already got that Maduro guy or whatever in prison. He just got sentenced for like

decades or something. They can just pluck him out of prison and make him the president and then just leave. Oh yeah. That could I can't see your flaw in this. I'm not saying it'll work. I'm telling you what the plan is. So what are they going to do, like, foment a color revolution or just intimidate them with arms?

It seems like they're preparing a invasion of Venezuela. There's thousands and thousands of personnel and assets down there. It looks like they're going to invade Venezuela. Well, I hope not. That seems pretty retarded. I don't see how that helps Americans. I worry that we're really. not competent at the top

in America anymore. Like we have non-doctors in charge of human health services. We have Pete Heggseth, a National Guard member in charge of he's the Secretary of War. We have Donald Trump as president. All the way through, we have a couple podcasters. It's like the head

of the FBI and CIA and shit. Cash Patel is a podcast? He wasn't Cash Patel a podcaster? Yeah. Or Dan Boingino was. And I think Cash Patel, I'm not sure about him. I don't know. It's been a bad job.

Nothing wrong with having a podcast. Right, right. It qualifies you for damn near any job, I would argue. It means we're pretty close to the White House. It's disqualify for many jobs, though. I'm just like, man, if we're going to wage a war, this isn't the team I'd pick. We haven't won a war in forever. But in fairness, like, it seems like powerful people wanted those wars to stretch out for a long time because it made a lot of money.

I don't know what winning these wars mean, though. I don't know what... The only way to win is not to play for something like Venezuela or Iraq or Afghanistan or Iran. Like, there's just no reason. Didn't we just, look, I don't think we just had a war with Iran, but that seemed to have gone our way.

Oh, I'm saying that we don't... There's a lot of powerful people angling for more involved in there. A lot of people who say that we didn't achieve the goal with those missile strikes. How would they know? How do you know? I don't know, but when someone says that it did work,

I'm not saying it did work. But how can you say it didn't work? Well, you said, you know, I'm not saying Iran as a war, but we achieved all our goals. And I'm like, how do you know? Because people say we don't. And then you shifted the burden of proof on to me. Because there was no war. They backed down.

They took their like slap on the mouth and did nothing in return except launch some missiles at Israel, I guess. And then there's a real chance. They said, it's a good thing we buried this so deep. Nothing happened. Let's just keep making nukes. I don't know that there's a good chance of that I don't know what happened I know the government says it worked

I know that people that don't like the government say it don't work and the only people with any evidence are the people who are saying that it did work because everybody else is just like a naysayer like there's no technical experts that went there and looked I don't think that's true

I think like one of the generals in the army said that it seems to have not worked and then they silenced him well you kept saying you just you keep shifting the goalposts like you're like you know the people who say

it worked are the experts from the government and the other guys are nothing and I'm like well actually a general said it well I discredit him I'm not discrediting anyone I'm saying that there's no one has any evidence other than the Iranians like they're the only ones who know what happened or what was even in there or what the results are there's no way looking down that if you can tell if that missile penetrated deeply enough to hit something and and then you'd have to know for sure that the things were there like there's no way we can't is the guy's name he's uh he's uh It's an early U.S. Intel assessment said the strikes didn't work. He used to be a major.

What I'm saying is there's no way to know. But if it worked or not, I'm not saying it worked or it didn't. I'm saying there's no way to know. I thought you said every achievable goal or something. What is it that you said? It went our way in every conceivable way. We did what we wanted to do. Other than being involved at all.

That did. Well, one of the conceivable. ways it could have gone our way is to like destroy their production facilities of nuclear weapons see but that shifting the blame back the burden back on me you said it went our way in every conceivable way and now you're like prove that it didn't but you're the one who made the claim i can see them burning i can see all those on the top on the outside and and i'm like well here's a you know u.s intel expert whose name is general cane who said it didn't work and then he was silenced. Based on what information, like, no one, I don't, the president who watched the

bombs fall, the pilots who dropped the bombs, they don't know if the stuff was down there and they don't know if we hit it. There's no way to know. There are ways to know. How? How can we possibly know unless you go down there? I watched a video by Ryan Macbeth and he had like several ways. One was, uh, they can like test the radiology in the area to see if it was released like they expected. Another was, and this was his area of expertise, where he's like, people lie to their wise, but they tell the truth to their computer. We can look at their computer traffic, what they're Googling, what they're buying, what they're ordering to understand what the damage was. And that's Intel that takes weeks and months. And then he had a third way of telling to, oh, I think

it was just, he's like, these people are broke. They're suffering from the sanctions and they're easily bribed. So those are the three ways that they would know. How do I know? I don't know. I'm just saying that if you make a claim that it went our way in every conceivable way, but... Dude, it was an L to bomb Iran at all. Why do you say that?

Why are you so... Because there's no reason for us to be involved in the only... They're building nuclear weapons. They're building nuclear terrorists. And they want America to be destroyed. Like, these are the people we don't want to have nuclear weapons. You can't be so... I think that they could easily transfer fizzile materials

to a group like Hamas or a group like Al-Qaeda or ISIS, who could then get into a shipping container and detonate a dirty bomb over fucking San Francisco and cripple our economy for decades to come. I think that that is a very easy thing to do. I think that it happened every week on 24.

You think they would want to do something that would ensure their nation's total destruction. Would it? Haven't they already? What if we can't trace it back to them? What if we can't trace it back? Durand didn't have anything to do with 9-11. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to claim that they did.

I'm just like, they being people who hate us in general. I don't think they held back on 9-11. I think that was their best effort. I don't think they, different people, I understand, held back on October 7th. I think that was their best effort. And if their best effort could include... Somebody held back on October 7th. Some of the Israelis.

Someone threw that memo under the fridge. There's this theory that Israel wanted to be attacked for the excuse. excuse. But I had a third one. But anyway, if the next one comes along and they have the ability to do some sort of nuclear related strike, I don't know that we can trust them to hold back. I just, maybe I'm just knee jerk anti-Trump and I need to think that through. But I'm like, there hasn't been any evidence that it worked and there hasn't been any evidence it didn't work. They just claimed success and planted the flag 30 seconds after the bomb fell. And I'm like, We've never had an administration who's a bigger liar than this one. I don't know about that. We had a president for four years that everyone ran cover for. Did you see he replaced this photo? Yeah, that's pretty immature.

There's a whole bank of photos of all the presidents at the White House, you know, from beginning to end, I'm sure. But at the end of it, when it gets to Biden's photo, Biden's photo has been replaced with a photograph of an auto pin signing Biden's name. like a really well done and framed like photo like it was well composed it's it's pretty oh it's so petty it is petty this day is claiming he had stage nine cancer like what the fuck are we doing why why can't he ever say something remotely

true right why is it that to be stage nine cancer why is that to be 600 million people dying a year to drugs only three do you ever say anything true Don't exaggerate. What did you say? 300 million? No, it's a joke. Like, he's clearly exaggerating. So it's like, it's fair game for you to exaggerate.

But he said 300 million died. Oh, okay. His numbers are always got. He can't read. I've seen, like in the last week, he was at that royal dinner, and he was bragging about all the, he's always bragging about how we're the hottest country. That's his new thing. And how he's solved every major conflict in the world, except for the big one that matters,

or the two big ones that matter where, like, people are being massacred daily. the country's wrong. That's what I was going to say. He said he goes to read. First of all, he hasn't memorized his speech. He appears to be reading it for the first time ever, right? He's just like, and he's like at a dinner standing. And the King of England is looking up at him like, why did we invite him again?

And he's just like, I solved the war between Azerbaijan. Oh, hang on now. Azerbaijan and Albania. And it's like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. Those aren't the country. That could have been a brand. A new conflict that we didn't even know about.

He called Armenia, Albania, and it's written in front of him. If he'd be going from memory, I could understand that kind of a brain flub. They sound a little bit alike. And if you're not actually familiar with the geography there, it makes sense that you'd flub that. You should be familiar, though. She should be so familiar because he solved the wars there, right? But then this week, he's exposing Tylenol for causing autism, and he can't. And you would think that if he's going out to do a press conference,

about how acetaminopin causes autism and pregnant women, and it's this huge discovery, and he's going to brag about it. It's going to be a pillar of his medical breakthroughs that he's bringing, RFK, is spearheaded this shit, that he would at least know the word acetaminophen. He is trying to read acetaminophan off of this piece of paper, and he goes, aceto, aceto, hang on a minute.

He literally goes, hang on a minute, here. Does he really? Yeah, like he has a full, Well, I'll break down with the word acetaminopin. And if he had given, my problem isn't that he can't read that word or that he's not familiar with that word when it's clearly something that he's pretending that he is familiar with and knows about, because he's about to give medical advice about a cinnamonophen and he can't pronounce the word.

My issue really isn't with any of that. There was no effort put into this before he walked into that room. He didn't even bother to like glance at his notes that I'm sure a pro handed to him that hey um what's this word here how do i say that i don't want to look stupid out there i'm pretending to be an expert let's make sure i know how to say the word say it for me slowly and even if he wasn't a boomer you can go you can like google how to pronounce acetaminophen and the little voice well a citaminate and you could even go slower largely fanatic too other than c et it's fanatic but i could see myself struggling

on that word when i was in 11 when i was 11 years old so i got but he didn't put that effort into it. He doesn't pre-read his notes before he goes out there. He must take it as a point of pride that he goes off of the seat of his pants, or he's just incredibly incompetent. I think he's lazy. I think he just doesn't put effort into things,

doesn't try as hard as we wish he did. And I've always known he does he hasn't pre-read these speeches because he'll be like, yeah, we got Ira. That's a good point, that one. Yeah, we got him good on that. And then he'll like keep reading. He ad libs and adds his own shit.

along the way. He's reading this for the first time. Yeah. His adlibs, at least used to be, like, funny. But now it's just the energy. That spark just not there, not there at all. And, you know, I don't want to be agist, but perhaps we take a little foray as a nation away from 80-year-olds after this. Oh, look at Taylor. All of a sudden, he's had an inkling that maybe 80's too old right after. Trump tweets this pro-Ukrainian tweet. Do we see a connection here maybe? Oh, I think so.

I drew the line. It's a straight one. You want to read this tweet for us, Taylor, because I know it's like venom in your mouth. Let's see. Oh, my goodness. See, and his posts, there is no pithiness. Do you remember the reason his posts were funny on Twitter back in the day is because they were pithy and insulting and, like, totally uncouth for someone in that position? Yeah.

Now, it's like just boomer Facebook screen. with like random words capitalized. All right, I'll read this. Can you show it while Taylor reads it? Zach. And forgetting to know and fully understand the Ukraine-Russia military and economic situation and after seeing the economic trouble it caused in Russia,

I think Ukraine with the support of the European Union is in a position to fight and win all of Ukraine back in its original form with time patience and the financial support of Europe and in particular NATO. The original borders from where this war started is very much an option. Why not? Russia has been fighting aimlessly for three and a half years, a war that should have taken a real military power, real military power, of course, capitalized

per APA guidelines, less than a week to win. This is not distinguishing Russia. In fact, it is very much making them look like a paper tiger when the people living in Moscow and all the great cities, towns and districts all throughout Russia find out what's really going on in this war, the fact that it's almost impossible for them to get gasoline, got to capitalize gasoline, through the long lines that are being formed and all the other things that are taking place in their war economy, where most of their money is being spent on fighting Ukraine, which has

great spirit and only getting better, Ukraine would be able to take back their country in its original form, and who knows, maybe even go further than that. Putin and Russia are in big economic trouble, and this is the time for Ukraine to act. In any event, I wish both countries well. We will continue to supply weapons to NATO

and for NATO to do what they want with them. Good luck to all. Let's go. No new wars. No new war is awesome. No new wars. This is a new war. You was supposed to get... Venezuela is the new one, Taylor, not this one. Well, that's the newest.

And I'm not an isolationist. It's just wars should benefit us. You're an isolationist. Liver-livered, Missouri Democrat. All right? That's what I'm hearing from you. I just... If we use the military and, like, against cartels, that would make sense because that fucks with us. We're blowing up Venezuelan boats left and right. If Taylor was brave like us, he'd send other people to war. That's how it works.

Look, they don't want us. They'd just allow me. They'd take you. They'd put you in the thunder core. They wouldn't do nothing with me. You'd be trying to be parrots. Dude, you're 52. You're a spring chicken in the Ukraine conflict now.

You can tell Ukraine is winning because of the tens of thousands of women they have fighting. That's the hallmark of a victory in occurrence. There's lots of women on the battle. That's interesting. I dare you. If it's drone warfare, are women bad at it? They're bad at video games. They're not great at it.

Yeah, they're bad at driving. They're bad video games. Yeah. We're better than them in sports. Sick. One for the boys. You know, I love that tweet. I love this like complete without any buildup flip and policy and demeanor.

That's definitely not based on anything in reality. it's it's what I've come to suspect from the president it's it's beautiful it's and it's it's genuinely like one of the few things that I didn't like about him going into the election against Kamala was his like the way he treats Zelensky and Ukraine and that conflict and how buddy buddy he is with Putin I've always liked his sentiment about like hey we don't how about we don't spit in this guy's face at every turn how about every turn we mentioned Putin we don't call him an evil murderous dictator because we might have to deal with him

in a year or two like sitting around a table and I don't want to deal with a guy that I've been spitting venom at unnecessarily that makes tons of sense like I always show that picture of Obama mean mugging Putin like he's going to intimidate him. Meanwhile there's like audio of him talking to Medvedev

about after the election I could be a lot more lenient on this and that I can be more flexible but we need to wait till after the election collusion. Oh! Oh! like that's nonsense I would like some diplomacy between our world leaders

but on the other hand I love this policy change he wasn't that's a good picture man he looks so like I don't Trump's a pussy in comparison in comparison Trump would beat the shit out of Obama

what are you talking about Oh stop not only when he beat Obama in hand-to-hand combat he beat him in basketball I mean, let's I mean, beat him in golf.

I mean, he probably is Obama bruised and bloody smoking a, smoking a mint ball cigarette and Trump would be trying out. I don't know. They're all presidents.

They can probably all golf. That's a rich person thing. Yeah, you would think so. I would guess we couldn't have a president who like was like embarrassing himself on the golf course. I do know that Obama golf

because I remember Trump saying that Obama golfs all the time and he wouldn't have time to golf. I was part of his campaign pledge. And that was a fib. He was... Some people say yes, some say no. They're making a big deal about the escalator and the teleprompter at the United Nations.

Did you see that, Taylor? I did. And I saw differing reports where like some UN employees like joked about it beforehand. And then other people were like, no, that's not the case. And I did. I really didn't. Oh, so that was true? Yeah, the secret service is investigated.

Well, that's pretty unprofessional. What the fuck? Yeah Obama or Trump Don't you play fucking jokes on our president You are all vassal states of us And you need to realize that fully and entirely If they actually fucked with him on the escalator

I don't like it I don't like Trump but he's still my president And he shouldn't be mocked And made fun of overseas like that The explanation I saw Maybe I just bought it as a fool Was that the escalator had some sort of safety feature If someone's falling or whatever

That it stops and there was a videographer in front of Trump standing backwards that caused it to stop. Is it true? That's what I read. I don't know. Yeah. And then the teleprompter wouldn't work. His speech was like, I show up here to the UN, the elevators don't work, the teleprompters don't work, the U.N. doesn't work.

Your countries are going to hell. Immigration is running rampant. The mixed nuts in the waiting area, in the green room, they were all peanuts. Someone had either picked out the cash shoes. or they were never there in the first place I like that. I like that. A pocket full of peanut. He did seemingly get the last laugh

where he's like, oh, teleprompter's not working. Well, prepare to be waterboarded with an just a 40-minute speech. Oh, you prank me? I'm going to go on an off-the-cuff 40-minute speech. Oh, that's, that is like, that is such a funny way to handle that. Are teleprompters that, I swear,

I've seen Trump complain about. his teleprompters a hundred times he is constantly complaining that there's something wrong with his teleprompter I'm like does he a make it up and just blame his speech on the teleprompter or B are the teleprompters in Trump's world just consistently unreliable I'd blame him for it but the fact that they like stopped the elevator on him seemingly or escalator rather like that I that makes it seem believable it wasn't like going too slow or too fast or showing the wrong thing it wasn't on it didn't didn't work It was on, and then they stepped on, and it went.

Yeah, they got up like, I'll make it up two and a half feet or something, and then it stopped. But either way, I don't want these, I don't need these Europeans making fun of us. The United Nations is in New York, right, right? Either way, it was the Europeans left. Those dirty European New Yorkers. It was probably some, some German guy who did it. So we can still blame. I don't know the odds of bonds running.

reason for no reason yeah i don't know that is i i did laugh at that when people were like they canceled his like i saw some like way too pro-trump people being like and then he went off on a great speech and it's like well i'm not going to fucking waste 45 minutes listening to his like the only thing that would be funnier than him doing that is if he like took the mic out of the stand and starts like walking back and forth like a stand up while he's doing it he's like leaning on his on his stool i would like that That would be funny. Who won the Jimmy Kimmel thing?

So Jimmy Cable's back on the air. He's only down for a couple of days. Well, some places he is. Right. Sinclair, I guess the people that distribute the show, many of them are not showing it. Sinclair is like this right wing kind of news or TV broadcasting organization. If you guys saw that clip where like all the newscasters were saying the same thing

as an example of propaganda that was Sinclair, they're the people keeping Jimmy Kimmel not distributed because I guess they think he's two left wing and uh but jimmy kimmel at least in the very short term it's like huge ratings and the trump strisen affected kimmel i don't know how long it is who's who's winning this thing um we'll see because uh trump is going to continue to try to pressure disney i i'm sure uh to to to go his way and part of the problem is that and part of the problem is that like Jimmy Kimmel's not that funny and when you actually watch the show it's it's it's like man you you really hate these people don't you like it seems to be just all you you guys know

what to write about is hating Trump so I don't think that the ratings are going I don't think he's going to be exposed new fans going to be exposed to Jimmy Kimmel and jump on and watch every night he didn't have like 6.3 million viewers or something for that show six million I watched his opening monologue he's like six times more than normal he's like tearful and like frog in his throat um and like he doesn't quite apologize, but he does sort of explain, I never wanted to make fun of a good young, oh yeah, he's like teary-eyed and like frog in his throat. I didn't mean to make fun of anybody. I don't think that's where he cried, though. He cried because he was inspired by Charlie Kirk's widow

saying that she forgave the murderer. That's where he broke down. That's that funeral. Oh, we haven't talked about the Charlie Kirk funeral. Did y'all watch the Charlie Kirk funeral? Because it was one of the most well-produced well-produced funerals I've ever seen in my life. It's like a WWE event. There's like 60-something thousand seats and then there's an overflow arena nearby

or something like that. I kept seeing different numbers, but on the low end, 100,000 people showed up for this thing. It's like an SEC game. It was crazy. Pyro Technics. They had pyro-technics.

I saw that. They were selling Charlie Kirk merch at the fucking thing. it was wild what's up josh how are you oh don't know if he's in here am i not loaded up oh great not loaded yeah my my first let me try to fix my Wi-Fi real quick seeing all of the

like fanfare and fireworks and everything and my thing was like this is pretty gauche and then i thought like charlie kirk being who he was like he may have actually wanted it to be very politicized and like made into a thing. If I died like that, like don't throw a, don't have like photo ops and partly like do stuff like that. But if I were like a political commentator and I got shot, I probably would be like, yeah, fucking make a to do of this.

Like make it a big deal. My favorite part of it was seeing left wing people for the first time be exposed to what like Christian worship is about. and acting like that and just being like oh my what is this because like everybody's just got their hands in the air and they're praising jesus and i i just feel like to the the average left winger who's never seen that that had to be scary that is not the average left winger i that seemed to be the reaction online like i kept reading people like what is this cult and it's like that's church that's a that's church that's what happens at church uh all the churches

especially these when you're what's going on guys church environment It's up, John. Can you hear me? Yeah, we were just talking about the Charlie Kirk Memorial event. The big to-do. I'm just having problems there. I can see you. I just can't hear any of you guys. All right, Zach, just pulling back out and see if you can get that worked out behind.

And if his internet isn't good enough, but unfortunately, we won't be able to have them on. Yeah, just don't bring him back if it's like that. Yeah, we just have to have better internet. Yeah, just quite the, I saw the same thing Kyle's seeing. where a lot of people were like, hey, like, what the hell is this? And it's like, what church? Like a bunch of these, like, evangelical types, like, worshiping really hard. I don't remember the pyrotechnics.

Well, this was also a funeral, you forget. Oh, yeah, right. Dude, I want pyrotechnics at my funeral for sure. Like, that would be great. I thought selling merch was kind of gauche. Maybe I'm. Well, the money went to his wife, the widow, who's bereaved. And, I mean, who knows if she's going to be provided.

30 million. Gotta be more than that. He was like the biggest moderate right-wing voice in America. Like he had to be worth more than that, right? Was he a moderate? Yeah, yeah. Really? Like, he's like, are the neo-Nazes the far-right?

Because I'll agree to him. We're really there. Like, I just feel like, like, I think that Christian evangelical is, is right, not moderate. I think that like I think of I thought of him as a right wing person definitely not a moderate

like he definitely had a great stick of wanting to talk it out and like have free debate love that but we're only happy about that because the alternative is like a fascist burn your church down in the middle of the night right wing

well the alternative is a crazy fucking lunatic on the last have to shoot you in the fucking neck for being the debate guy well that's a little ghost of you i don't know if that's the alternative i mean it is what happened it is it is what happened yeah the guy who's like here let's do a debate got got murdered well supposedly you know leena i just saw that clip today of him speaking out about israel oh my goodness that that is i'm all for you know exploring alternative things but like i have you seen some of these fucking clips of people being like hey I found something everybody else missed.

This guy's adjusting his sleeve to the side of Charlie Kirk, and he shot him from under here with some sort of gun, and it was not even a sniper in the first place. And it's like, are you retarded? You think that this was like orchestrated, and then they picked the guy to shoot him, like being in frame for the live stream? Like, that's psychotic.

Like, that's the big plan some of these people are putting forward. Or like, it was, it ricocheted. Oh, I think it was the leftist on the roof that killed him. I'm saying that like, and I'm not saying Kyle believes this. I'm saying that I've seen a lot of conspiracy theorists saying like someone with a handgun shot him. Someone in his security from the side shot him. Oh, actually the bullet ricocheted off of his body armor and went up into his neck. And that's absurd.

You can see his nipples. And unless he has like faux nipples on body. Oh, that would be cool. Yeah, that doesn't happen anyway. He would have soft body armor. It doesn't ricochet bullets. He would have to have a hard plate. And then at that downward angle, it wouldn't spall up.

It would spall down. And it wouldn't be a ricochet. It would be a spray of shrapnel. And most of those plates like AR 500 are covered with an anti-spalling coating that prevents that. It catches it all anyway. I've been shot while wearing one on my chest before. I can't show people that. It's lame.

Do you guys? Yes. We did it. I'm in a hotel. hotel um top notch hotel i see in eugene look at that yeah look if you put quarters in that bed what happens well we're in your eugene or oregon so someone who smells like patchouly comes up from under the bed and gives you a foot job stick it's a pretty good hotel no this hotel is great it's called the graduate like have you ever stayed at one of these chains it's a hilton hotel

but it has like a real old school collegiate feel. The phone looks old school. Looks like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. There are probably some people who don't know how to use it. Don't is it at the spin dial? Yeah.

Rotary baby. I'm super qualified to operate that thing. Have you guys been talking conspiracy theory without me? We were talking a little bit, not in fairness I was not being good faith I was making fun of the people who think that like Charlie Kirk

was shot from like with a security guard like with a gun under his arm from the side or that where they're like actually I saw one person being like and it wasn't just one person it was like had like a bunch of activity people being like so true and it was like he actually was shot from the back

and that whole here is a is an exit wound and it's like and then it just dissipated like a video game someone shot a high powered rifle and it didn't immediately go collateral for people it didn't come out the back of his neck but I'm not a conspiracy theorist I have seen I haven't seen what Taylor's talking about I have seen people say that there's like weird hand motion you know someone just like doing one of these and it was a signal that now you shoot it wasn't them being the shooter it was them communicating with the shooter but it also sometimes people scratch their shoulder yeah so you know what I mean

like right now you could just take five minutes from this podcast and be like he's signaling something he's got his hand on his chin right right so look here's the problem with conspiracy theory okay for me is that it's not that some of it isn't true but when it's you know what it's like it's just like around COVID when everyone was getting canceled look some things people shouldn't say but if you say a can't be called mr potato head anymore now you're absurd right so you're not fighting the good fight you're fighting all the stupid ones which takes away from the good ones i feel the same way about the conspiracy theories do you know what i mean are there very people who probably are

hiding some shit from us yeah is everything everyone says fake no come on yeah and you'll you'll run into people like saying real ones and it'll be like oh there was a lot of seedy actors and conspirators and this JFK thing crazy and then like that same person will ruin it by being like wait till you learn about the great dome that we live under and it's like now you've just taken a real one and you've lessened the impact because you're talking about how there's an ice wall and that beyond the ice wall there are even more civilizations and continents which I once looked into because I wanted to know like if there was a little earth style lore for these other continents like what kind of people live there what kind of that and they don't even have that they don't even whoever came up with it didn't even backfill the universe which is lazy yeah lazy talking would have a hundred percent done better talking would have 100 percent done better by the way it was the same thing in Hollywood where it's like yes of course executives and people of power and anybody shouldn't be molesting people.

Also, are you saying that are you going to die on the hill that straight people can't play the role of gay people? Is that the hill? Are those the two things you're equating to each other? Do you know what I mean? Let's like, let's pick the one that matters. Yeah. Are there any groups that shouldn't be able to play any other groups? Because there was that one movie where Gary Oldman played a midget.

Yeah. that's fine that's fine j more just told me that one i had i had never seen it um look man he needed money yeah look i've said it's what i say that micky rourke not mickie rourke what's his name mickey the dude who played the chinese guy runy should he should we do a micky runy Asian dude probably yes oh no probably not i'm putting my glasses back in the drawer it's not like they're rare or anything you can find one there's no yeah i mean yeah but i i think in general like we all just need to kind of be grown-ups and realize some things are being done for entertainment and fun and some people are racist and i think we're all smart enough

to figure out which jokes fit into which bucket you know what i mean yeah i like i think that entertainment in general, we should be smart enough to figure out which mine is? I'm getting clicking. Yes. It sounds like the Soviets are trying to piggyback off your signal. Someone's doing Morse. Guys, do you want to just do this from my house

next Thursday? Yes, I think so. Yes. I'll see you next Thursday. I would love you. Thank you for trying. Sorry about that, John. You got it, guys. No worries. I thought he handled that really well, though. He's seen consummate professional. he knows what's up much he hates you so much

he hates you so much you could tell me oh yeah you didn't say any of the things I was thinking they told you cracker that one time that's very funny I want to start doing that calling people crackers yeah being like and then this dude this fucking cracker this crack a motherfucker dude

and then get wildly offended if the wrong person says it yeah I'll demand that black people... You can't use that word. You can't use that word. That's our word. Yeah, I mean, well, that's not a good argument, because technically the N word is also, you know, our word.

It's true. True. I never thought of it through that lens. There's a huge amount of cultural appropriation going on in every rap song. I'll tell you what, I won't wear cornrows. Y'all stop saying that word, though. Some guy was looking out at a bunch of, lackadaisic slaves in 1830 and he was just I got it

and they said run as fast as you can and you ran down to the cornrows sound hilarious I should just let my front hair grow taller and taller and then do cornrows for Halloween I 100% I'm on board I support that with all I have let's all do it you and cornrows

hit my green screen and put up like a never mind I'm not I'm not going to say basketball court. No, no, the hair's fine. It's the lips you paint it on. It's really, it's making me kind of uncomfortable. I don't know what I'm doing for Halloween yet. I have about a month to figure it out.

I also have not given it any thought. I mean, so why Leonard, clearly, get those cornrows in, get your jersey on, darken up a bit. My girlfriend is already putting up Halloween stuff, which is like early. isn't it early September putting up Halloween stuff you guys live together no but she you know she's putting it all up you know where at your house my house because we're always at my house and so like she like I like I was getting out of the shower the other evening before dinner I'm like where the fuck is she and I like go out front and she's like putting one of those like like tying one of those witches that looks like it crashed into a tree around one of the trees

in my front yard and I'm like wow so September a 22nd, huh? Like, we're, and she's like, well, it's, you know, I always think of this as the Halloween season, and I'm like, it's not. No, I agree with, I like, I'm on her team. I love it. Well, I'm out. I'm not, I actually think it's an endearing quality to, like, be excited about holidays.

Yeah, yeah, because I'm, I'm a little bit too much. Too much of, your girlfriend doesn't throw shit up? Christmas, she puts the tree up far too early. Probably, probably, probably putting the Christmas tree up. It wasn't even Thanksgiving last year and that tree was up. She had the tree like

all the parts to it sitting in the living room like let's put it. I'm like it's not even Thanksgiving. Like it's this is a long way away but but you know we get the Christmas stuff up. Not the Halloween as much because that's just a that's one of those made up holidays. It's not based on real historical facts like Christmas.

Too true. It's a candy based holiday. Yeah. I remember when Jesus explained the tree and the elves and all. And when he was the sermon on the mound, you know, he broke all that down. The book of Rudolph. The book of Rudolph. He really got into the weeds on that. It's got the best songs in the Bible. It all rhymed, though. So it's an easy read, you know. That's one of the funny things, like how Christianity just gobbled up all of those cultures in Europe and

England and was like hey yeah yeah you will be Christians with us and they're like well we'll be Christians as long as we still get to have our Yule log and as long as we still get to do this thing where we we're going to light a tree up too and like oh yeah that's definitely part of our thing too yeah yeah you're Christians you're Christians you're just trying to get people signed up for your fucking Amway and you're saying you're a yes who uh who invented the presence aspect well I know the wise men showed up with some

some you know the wise men historically supposedly showed up with frankincense and mer and gold and it's like I bet with I hope the gold guy went first so that frankincense and mer had to sit back

yeah terrible gold yeah they brought money for a fucking president can you believe it like I put thought into my mur yeah and like there's no

like at the time they would have preferred if one of them had purchased them like a hotel room or like a donkey or something because they were like in a manger in some shithole barn and you just like you give like you basically he gifted three

things for Joseph to carry because like what like that shit's other than the gold that shit's not even going to be good by the time Jesus would be like giving a homeless couple who just given birth in a barn like an like an expensive iPhone and like the I view

pro like VR goggles or something. It's like, I really need a blanket. You have any blankets? Like, I don't need a $3,000 VR headset. No, no blankets to have. Have a little mirth. Have a little frankincense. So it doesn't, so instead of it smelling like cow manure in here, it smells like cow manure and frankincense. We celebrated holidays when I was a kid, but like as I became an adult, it did not transfer into me. And I'm, I've always been just perfectly fine treating every single holiday like a Tuesday. day. Like, I really don't care. Christmas and Thanksgiving are fun. Thanksgiving is the best holiday for me. That's, that's my favorite one. All I really want is to see my family and hang out and have a

nice day. You can't buy me any gifts. There's nothing you get me where I'm like, oh my God, really? I could have never got this on my own. But I get to have people. And Thanksgiving in particular, I have no responsibilities. I might carve the turkey. That's it. I got like 60 seconds of work to do all day long. And I get all the benefits. It is the dopest holiday. Yeah, I cook Thanksgiving. So I don't mind it, but it's, it's all me. And I also often think, like, because it's delicious. Whenever I fry a turkey and do the dressing and the mashed potatoes, I'm like, this is the best meal I have all year, maybe. And I always say, like, we're going to do this every month. And I never do. I'm one horrific traffic accident away from sliding into Kyle's DMs.

I put on a pretty good Thanksgiving. I deep fry that turkey almost every year, and it's so fucking good. I've only messed it up once. I wish I had the photo handy, but it's me at the head of the table surrounded by my family, and I'm holding up the turkey like a bass I've caught, and it's black as night. It's black as night. Did you say it was good on the inside or my... It was good on the inside, but the outside was literally charcoal black.

The oil had gotten so hot for like too long. I mean, nobody was watching it. And it was just, I'm just laughing so hard that I've ruined Thanksgiving. It's, it was almost like that, uh, that bit from Christmas vacation where they cut into the turkey and it just goes, like, it's a hollow and burnt out on the inside. But, uh, but yeah, it was decent on the inside. It was fine. Like something about frying it, I'm sure, like, made that happen.

Frying, it's the only way to go with the turkey. It's so good. Once you've gone, once you've fried it, you can't go back to that, you know, bog-spanid. The skin becomes all crispy. and Cajun seasoned, like, and then the inside is just juicy and buttery and again, just full of Cajun spices. It's really good. I don't think I've ever had it.

I guess you bake a turkey. That's like the traditional thing to do. Oh, yeah, people bake them. Yeah, that must be what she does. Yeah, I think we, my dad started frying them like when I was a kid. I think it became a trendy thing maybe back then and he bought a fryer. And, and we, when we were exposed. to that we couldn't go back and like whenever i have a girlfriend i think a new girlfriend for the

holidays i'm like have you ever had a fried turkey and i love when they have it because it's a show and a dinner you know just frying the thing is is uh is a little bit really fast if i remember correctly it's like three and a half minutes per pound oh and what is it 15 pounds yeah usually something like that it's you know 40 minutes to 50 minutes something like that i don't know I thought it took 90 seconds, but you just tip it in there and pull it out. Oh, this is horrible. I thought that.

You picture like a cartoon version of frying something. How long do French fries take? Can't they be really quick? Yeah, it's a real quick. French fries take about 10 minutes tops. Oh, even that's longer than I thought. I double fry them. So I do like three minutes and then take them out and raise the temperature and do four more minutes.

So like six, seven minutes usually depends off. they are. I never make French fries. I did like a couple months ago. I was high at night and I had like nothing to eat except for like a bag of russet potatoes. And so I just like quartered and I guess eighthed a couple of them into like potato wedges and then like tossed them in avocado oil and added like garlic powder and onion powder and a little bit of maybe like cayenne or something else and some salt and then I like baked them until they were crispy and I don't I don't actually know

if they were good or if I was so hungry that I ate like three potatoes worth of these things over the course of about 25 minutes I didn't even have ketchup which was a huge issue because I was looking forward to the ketchup aspect and that wasn't that decent snack though and it's not it wasn't as horrible for you as regular fries probably right yeah if you bake them and drizzle with oil it's definitely

healthier yeah less fat man fries rule I love potatoes I do potatoes with almost every meal I love making mashed potatoes dumb question but the French invented French fries right I mean it sounds like they did

I think they probably probably did but they're also big on like everything like oh it couldn't just be a coffee press like it has to be a French press like they've got to put their name on it French fries Belgium invented the French fries

And the French encountered them in World War I? Okay. That's recent. People had to be frying up potatoes before that. I mean, the only one that's true, that's the thing it sounds like, is I'm almost positive that the Earl of Sandwich invented the sandwich. I just thought I heard Taylor doubt Google AI. I can't stay for that. Yeah, the Earl of Sandwich, that's also, that's like lore.

No, I'm telling you, I'm 95% You think a guy whose name was sandwich Just so happened to invent the sandwich What are the odds? It's just like Lou Gehrig getting a Lou Gehrig Wanted a trillion, really I always bring this one up because I love it so much My father had a client

He was a gynecologist and his name was Dr. Bush And I just fucking love that So did you always want to be a gynecologist? Yeah. laughing yeah that's very funny how do you get into that as a guy like i understand like

gotta be a fucking weirdo dude you gotta be a fucking weirdo because i understand when you like end up as a podiatrist or a dentist to me that ignorant speaking from almost complete ignorance here that sounds to me like okay so you had what it took to be a doctor

but not like one of the hard ones like you you wouldn't have cut it as a cardiologist or a neurosurgeon you're probably not capable of difficult micro surgeries maybe your diagnostic medicine is off or something that's why they got you working on corns and bunions and flat arches over here like i kind of i kind of get that from those guys but gynecologist it's like i feel like you got to be pretty qualified for this and you have to spend years just learning about the worst maladies that pussy's can have and dealing with them and it's like it's not even like if you love don't

Donuts going to a donut shop. It's like if you love donuts and you went to a place where they just brought in gross donuts all day that needed someone to fix them. Like, I got this rotten fucking cream filled. What do you think about this? Oh, disgusting. What you should have done. Like, I don't know how you end up in gynecology. Yeah, not gynecology exactly.

Where you just check on women, healthy and disease and whatever. But OBGYN will be one of my favorite kinds of doctor to be. I don't want to work on elderly people. I don't want to work on people who don't survive. Imagine a doctor who deals with people on good days, on happy days. I get it's a stressful event. Like, I get it. And I don't find women nine months pregnant to be sexy or anything.

But you're talking about people who might be excited about having a baby. Like, these are people, at the end of the day, it is smiles and tears and joy. And like, you facilitated this. this thing if you're going to be a doctor like sports medicine might be dope because you get a pretty cool client base in that one delivering babies might be dope but like cancer oh man like you're working really hard to keep spirits up you lose a lot of patients even if you're good um that most doctors i think deal with a lot of elderly there are basically no elderly women having birth you know these are these are just healthy people on good days

It'd be one of my top choices. I want to be plastics. I would pick plastic surgery. I want to do tits and asses. Like, like, I feel like that is this, that is the good,

that's what gynaecologist, I'm trying to add an extra syllable, should have done. Because then you deal with chicks that are just getting hotter. And, and like, you know, now you got all their contact information.

That ass is going to heal up in a few months. You know, maybe you hit her back up. Hey, I want to come and check, make sure there's no swelling. You know, you go hang out of America.

No, no, no. I'll come to you. Absolutely. I feel like that's a shoe. Plastics is one of the hardest kind of doctor to be. Yeah, if we're doing a lot of money. Faces or something like that. But I feel like tit jobs and ass jobs, like change in oil. Once you've done a few, you got to eat out. Well, I wouldn't say you're, I just, I forget, I think neurology was considered the hardest doctor and plastics was second. But like, you know, a lot of times people aim for, you know, to be this elite surgeon. and then along the way everyone gets weeded out and plastics is way up there's like sales being the

highest paid career though i feel like there's some there's a lot i'm not going by money i'm going by like i'm not either i'm not either i'm just comparing i'm just saying that there's different levels different kinds of plastics like the people who are going to put someone's face back together after a collision or the people who are giving the Kardashians their facelifts like those are artists those are those are Leonardo da Vinci's with scalples but i think the guy in tijuana I'm putting implants and making big booty latinas, gigantic booty latinas. There's a couple great subredits if you guys want to see some of their work. Bolted on booties and bolted on tits, I think.

Most of them, frankly, are too big for me. Like there's this one chick. She's walking down the center aisle of an aircraft, like an airplane, and her ass is hitting the seats on both sides. Like, that's way too big. I don't have to dig for that. That's rude, if anything. Yeah, it's obnoxious.

even but but some of these enhanced booties are just just real nice like like borderline cartoon character and I'm okay with that I'm curious go to top all time here I'll give you a link save you a second and tell me which ones you think are good because we may have different bullseyes in this regard I'll I'm on the tits forum I know I'm not looking for big boobs okay so this is just sex I kind of like the one where she's riding the guy that's that's real big um the one where she's got ass cleavage in her like uh suicide sweater that's pretty sick the big is that big bimbo booty yeah i'm okay that's the one i'm like i bet it's big bimbo booty go to need a nurse need a nurse here

is like the fourth or fifth one down and oh my god she's getting she's getting it out and it's taking her a while it's so i'm like i thought it look better in the clothes this is oh my god she got it out See, there's a problem here because there's no muscular quads to make the butt look like it fits. It's just kind of like a lollipop looking. If you go too big, the ratio is wrong. I agree 100%. And I also will agree that most of these even are too big. But I like the concept.

Okay, I've scrolled down to Japan's undisciplined big booty bimbo queen. It says she just humiliated that poor non-enhanced girl. And it's literally this Asian chick with. a colossal ass that jiggles like jelly getting doggy styled by a guy. And there's a sad little, like, flat-chested Japanese girl, like basically crying, watching. Am I the only one that thinks the sad girl in the back is way hotter? Yes, yes, you are.

I like that gigantic. They look exactly the same to me. Their faces are. No, no, no, other than the, other than the other than the neck down. I'm not looking at their faces. I can't see. shirt. Yeah. Yeah. That's who's, I don't get it. What's the vibe supposed to be here? Is this supposed to be active bullying of the girl? Yeah, yeah. That was my guess. There's a, there's a breast envy subreddit. At least there was at one point. And I, yeah, I just had my own taste on this. I'm not, none of these women are, what I think of is perfect. It's really big. I'm into it. None of these asses look natural at all. They're all going to have that quad, that quad. I know, but I mean, ideally you don't want it to look lollipop-esque where like there's these tiny little quads and legs and then just a weird you know precipice of an ass where it's like that's like jarring it's so weird looking i think you guys will disagree with me new link it's from the same subreddit and it's called asian transformation i think they ruined her okay all right we're starting out with a fit uh asian girl she's oh yeah they ruined her well hang on let me see more yeah they ruined her yeah they ruined it

her. Yeah, she went for like... Damn shame. Damn shame. She, see, she became a different thing. She went from like a fitness chick, like, like with arm definition, invisible abs and like really fit and good looking to like a bimbo

queen. And I think that's clearly what she wanted to go for. Now she's got like a big gigantic Latina booty that like jiggles and she's extra wide. She looks weirdly out of proportion in her swimsuit though because like the triangle of her, the crotch of her bathing suit is so tiny compared to the huge halo of ass that comes out

from around it. It looks bizarre. Not even like a pin-up, more like a cartoon. I'm here thinking, I hope Reddit doesn't think I like this. And I start getting recommended this because I scrolled it. Hell yeah. Thumbs down over here. I'm a big fan. You can go too far though. I agree. You've got to find some middle ground. The problem is they go into like full fetishization mode and then like make it just colossal. slow that there's no way that you can shit normally now like they've got to have one of those fat people like sponges on a stick or something to get in there like there's no way that you can do like normal people's stuff like go on i don't know a fucking zip line or roller coaster ride or jump into a bumper car like i don't want to date a girl who is handicapped where she

can't like fit into things she'd be like sitting weirdly high i saw this big booty latina ziplining the other day and she got into like this reclined position trying to getting the thing. She had the biggest camel toe. I was like, that's the whole foot. That's the whole foot in there. It was just a giant, meaty cameltoe. Big fan of that. It was like a praying mantis mouth.

Yes. It was like pinceres. It was aggressively attacking the Lululemon pants. But you know what you need to fuck any of these girls bolted on or not? Money. $100. He's a hard dick. No, it's a hard dick, Kyle.

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or use code nothing to payful price. Kyle, did you see Connor McGregor's demand for fighting at the White House event? It was $100 million and maybe 50 gold immigration cards? A hundred golden visas, yeah. I guess I have a $10 million value. Supposedly. Wait, are they a million each? Or $5 million?

It's either a million or $5 million. It's one of the other. yeah a bunch of bullshit it's just him talking shit i noticed he dropped out of the presidential race as well um just train he's just trying to transition to his next social media bullshittery to to sell i don't know beer and liquor or whatever he's promoting on the card or is it just totally a retired fighter pretending he's not a retired fighter at this point i can't believe him you know he's it's boy who cried wolf i don't believe you want to fight if you wanted to fight you to fought by now. You know, you wouldn't have taken the last three or four years off about, you know, you wouldn't have used your toes excuse for fighting Chandler. You wouldn't have fought Chandler if you were serious about fighting anymore. You wouldn't be always just talking about, oh, I'm going to do bare knuckle and oh, yeah, I'm going to do. Like, he just lies at every chance he gets about what he's going to do, what he intends to do. He'll have these like, imaginary scenarios where he wins three. He's like, yeah, I'm trying to fight three times this year. He's like, no, you won't. You won't fight any.

times this year like three times this year you've never fought three times in a year in your career I don't think I think he was fighting Cory Miller early in his career and he pulled out because his thumb was hurt this is a his opponent and um the guy's a grappler thumbs huge to him and Connor's like you don't need to dump the fight a different guy now now yeah I mean he's he's you know we always say he's far too wealthy to be in the fight game and he clearly makes a bag just pretending like he's a fighter. I bet he's doing lots of social media promo

and lots of appearance fees as well, like still raking in enough money to maybe not stay ahead of his spending but to take a big chunk out of it so he's not just running in the red every year. It's hard. I don't think he's going to fight. Estimate on his spending when he's a person who gets so much for free.

You know, when I saw the yacht, I'm like, did that cost him anything? Is he making money on that yacht? Or maybe Connor McGregor on that yacht? make Steve Balmer want to rent it or something. I'm not sure. I think he owns that yacht. I'm pretty sure he like bought that yacht. But

he made so much money just on the Mayweather fight. I can't tell. Because he wanted us to believe he owned that car. And then we had an expert on who's like, I've driven that car. That's a media car. I know that exact car. That was earlier in his career too when he was wearing like the expensive coats and driving the cars

and stuff. And I think they all do that. But he's in that yacht. Nobody loans out of yacht to let like that like he he owns that yacht um and i don't know about his car spending these days because a bunch of that could be free or promo or something or he's just driving it for the day you know i heard lebron so first of all lebrons uh if you google it it says he's worth like 1.2 billion or something like that he's like way less way less i'm not worth 1.2 billion i'm on the free program you see this hat it's free and they're like what about that rolex he's like this is a lebron

James Rolex. You think I pay for LeBron James? Free Rolex, free hat, free shirt, free pants. I don't pay for anything. And it's his, him saying he's just not as wealthy as the internet says he is. What's true? I can't tell. But it seems like that would make him wealth here. Right. Stockpiling. But I, I see Connor and I'm like, I don't know, he might be on a free program also. I mean, this is a $3 million boat he's on here. I mean, you know what I mean? Like, you, you recognize the boat? Well, it's got the price listed. Connor McGregor surprises in Marbella with spectacular Devotion yacht valued at $3 million euros. And then here he is in a Lamborghini yacht that they value at like a couple

million. Ties into something you said before. Like I see a $3 million yacht and a $100 million yacht and they look close to me. Yeah. I mean, there's definitely like leaps up. Like I see some of them that have like the helicopter pad and they'll have like a speedboat on the back that Have you seen them in person? When I was at the, I've seen big boats in person, but not what I would call a luxury multi-million dollar yacht. There was a lineup of them in two places. The French Riviera and the Italian Riviera. They were both like dope super boats.

And I was just blown away. Like, this is billionaire shit. And I'm looking at the crew like prepare the boat for the owner's return and stuff. And I started watching videos about the life of a crewmate. crew member of those things. It's pretty dope. It's amazing and it's super expensive. It costs no object type thing. Muted go. This looks like futuristic. So I think it's a Lamborghini yacht. I just sent a little link. Let's see. This looks like oh. That kind of

yacht I was talking about. The ones I'm talking about are much bigger. Like I Oh, yeah, I know. You know, 50 people could live on it. Mm-hmm. I didn't know Lamborghini made boats. Might be a different Lamborghini on it. I have no idea. You know, I'm still on the...

They make tractors. I'm scrolling through the bolted on booties. I'm agreeing with you. I'm having a hard time finding one that's not just... They all look absurd. Well, they don't... Actually, this one's pretty nice. At least some of the titty ones look nice.

Thanks, Zach. Actually, all the titty ones look nice. Yeah, they've got that science down. That's settled. settled science. I think they got the booty science down. These girls just go too far. And like the doctor doesn't go not look, trust me, just 250 cc. You don't need 800 cc's per cheek. You know, 250. Like, no, no, no. I want to, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want to hear gasps when I walk into a family ones. I want people to hate me. Well, who is the market for a Lamborghini tractor?

That's what they started out making. It's, it's originally a tractor company. but I mean at this point you know who I know that I watched that show Clarkson's farm with Jeremy Clarkson and I guess as a joke kind of and I mean he's rich as can be

doing top gear for so long he bought for his farm a Lamborghini tractor and like the actual farmer he had to teach him how to do it was like ripping on it constantly like this is retarded like why didn't buy something with this many additional features was it old do they still make track it was like a brand new

looking like it looked like a fancy tractor like you you would see this tractor and be like there's something special about this this is not a traditional tractor the short one who always likes american stuff got a john deer tractor oh did see that makes sense john deer knows how to make tractors yeah hammond i like they're quite good at that i hear yeah although the farmers are mad at them now something to do with not being able to maintain them like they want to can't service them oh i got to take to the john deer dealer to do any number of things yeah yeah would be deteriorating if you need it done right that day for harvest or whatever you're doing and it's like oh no you actually need to drive uh it's like you're a farmer like there's not a john deer dealership

and a convenience parts are back ordered for three or four months as well because of the tariffs damn oh that's newer than when i learned about it but yeah also farmers are routinely very handy they can weld they can fix a tractor most tractor fixing and now that they've been locked out of it. They're mad. I get it. There's a lot of stuff farmers have to know how to do. There's Conner's Big Yacht. That one seems more into it. His tweet is,

here's my, he goes, there's my other one. A triple deck. A lovely super yacht game. That's the kind of thing. I was, into the super yacht game. I'm sorry. That's the kind of boat I was talking about seeing in person. The pool in the back, that's not a pool. It's just the, that's a neat

idea. I feel like that would. Yeah, it's got to have a net. Otherwise, it's just an annoying thing in the way. Like, what else? I don't know. I feel like it would stop you from getting too far from the boat. Like, it's a little security raft.

I like it. I'm so scared of sharks. I would love there to be a net at the bottom of that to make sure the sharks can't get me. I really get afraid of them. Dude, the net wouldn't save you from a shark. It would deter the shark. Like, this is the movies where the shark is going to aggressively cut through the net to get to me.

It's going to be deterred. I don't know. They use shark. really nice it does look really nice that one looks more expensive than three or four million dollars

well no they use shark necks around beaches so that the sharks can't swim to the beach they have like a big perimeter with buoys and shark net I have seen that I don't know

it's just like a little net I feel like it would just not even notice until I don't trust it I feel like sharks get in there and get trapped now and then I just know it I can't prove it I just know what happens

you're locked in here with me we terrorize the animals with our invention oh did you hear there's like a i'd never heard about this apparently there's this like two three billion dollar solar farm in california that they they're shutting down because i guess it wasn't panning out they weren't getting enough energy out of it but it's so it's so reflected well i mean it's if it doesn't work in the desert it's like get your shit together how do you know is it the kind that shines into the middle yeah it's the kind it's like there's a huge amount of heat coming off of it and apparently apparently in the years it was active, like 60 plus thousand birds have been like evaporated.

Like apparently like people were saying like the heat, the heat that it puts off in the areas the birds unwittingly were flying through. Like there weren't even feathers left. It was just like a sci-fi like ray gun effect where it just just was it definitely California? I think it was it was somewhere in a California desert because I was California solar farm plant. Knights Birds midair. I remember people were making fun of it being like, bro, who the fuck? Like, how bad were those panels or like how

much did the company that made them rip you off? Like if anywhere can make a solar plant work, it has to be a fucking desert. So, yeah, there's more than one kind of solar plant. Some of them, they just have mirrors everywhere that heat the middle. And the reason I asked about where it was because I went to

one with a really similar story in one of my motorcycle trips in Nevada. And it was also shut down. Apparently that style of solar farm is just a loser. You can see the birds exploding in mid-air. So if anybody wants to find it online, we probably can't show it, but it's called the $2 billion

solar death ray. And at about two minutes in flat, they go to some footage of a bird exploding in mid-air because he flew through the radiation zone. What a horrible ROI. Two billion dollars to vaporize birds. Dude, they're just not

thinking outside the box. You set up a chick-fil-A at the bottom. Bob's your uncle. That's crazy. It just becomes smoke. It immediately transitions from matter to energy. You don't know if you don't have to pluck the feathers? No, roasted chickens fall out of the sky.

You know the first guy to see that happen was like, it probably won't be that much, though. That's a one-off. How big is the death beam? Did you see that? I see shit. It's pretty big. Man, have you noticed?

there's a big pile of beaks. Where? Yeah, that's, what a way to go. Archimedes supposedly had a death ray that he built on the walls of that city that was being invaded, and he was burning the boats with the reflected sunlight. I think the Mythbusters tested it out and called bullshit on it.

But the funny thing is, like, I can't remember the armies or even the city. but the army that was invading their leader was like and get that Archimedes guy I have talked to him these inventions he's got that are defending the city have been a fucking problem he's got a claw arm that grabs our boats and smushes him he's got a death ray supposedly

and the soldiers found Archimedes and went into his study and they're like you come with us and he's like I'm finishing up here kiss my ass and they just stabbed him and killed him oh that's not the guy you want to I mean, he was basically the BC Junkyard Wars guy

where they're like, what can you do with this? And he's like, stand fucking back. I'm about to go off. I'm about to come up with some really weird Rube Goldberg machine that kills Persians or something. Yeah, Romans during the siege of Syracuse in 212,

there are 214 to 212. It goes the other way. Yeah, supposedly. He did die in 212. So that, yeah, maybe I guess he pissed off the wrong guys. Yeah, the Roman stabbed him, yeah. He talked shit to a legionary or something, and they shanked him. That's a bad year to piss Rome off.

They knew what they were doing. Yeah. Damn, being an inventor back then, just being able to wing it. Like, I need, what do you need? It's like, I need more slaves than you have, and I need all the mirrors in Athens. Because I've got an idea. it's either going to be sick or you'll be getting your mirrors back. I've always been fascinated with laser weapons.

I watched that modern Marvel's video like 30 fucking years ago that promised all sorts of sonic weapons. And there was that video of them shooting the guy with like sealant foam and getting them all sticky. There was all those weapons and the laser weapons and the microwave weapon that like burns you and makes you like disperse. I never see that stuff in our modern world, though, for some reason. They don't even use the water cannons anymore because it's bad, like, it looks bad.

The water cannon is the most effective crowd dispersal mechanism known to man, okay? I don't know what country it was. Maybe it was the Philippines or something. They use them. And when people are taught, they just, and it's like a cannon hit the guy. It lifts grown men off their feet and sends them dozens of feet sprawling like across the asphalt. It's amazing at getting a group of people to get the fuck out of

an area. The thing with the water can is a little bit violent. And the people you're dispersing might not deserve that level of violence. What if you just sprayed water on them, but it was really stinky. Like really

stinky, gross stinky. Like the freaking fart thing, you drop in the hallway at school stinky. You put that on the crowd, they'll disperse. not if they're Indian facts yeah

I'm not there's a story about that yeah yeah the South Carolina teacher did you see this so this guy is in a world of trouble so he spray here's the link he sprayed

I guess at the school is a prank I think he's a teacher he's a grown ass man his mug shots in there somewhere and they the article said there was a 50 or $60,000 investigator to solve who sprayed the fart spray

and they've locked this guy up over it like I did this when I was in high school and got a two day suspension slap on the wrist this is wild how stinky was it I mean they're saying that it was it like has destroyed the school apparently here he is appearing in a court like Jesus Christ

I need to know how much fart spray there was $55,000 was that damage or the cost of the investigation I read the investigation. Let's look at this poor guy. It looks like a good moon-faced, bearded man, trustworthy-looking. I'd follow him into battle. He looks like a bandit who would do this. Good looking guy.

Good looking guy. Handsome. The day is long. No, I took stink bombs to school, the ones that smell like rotten eggs. They come these little glass ampules. And I was like, fucking Mission Impossible style. I cut a little hole in my pocket so I could drop them through my pocket

down my pants leg onto the floor. Like the great escape? Yes. And then some random person behind me in the hall would accidentally step on it. That way I'm clear of the crime. And I would also do this thing where I would take a desk

and carefully lift one of the legs up and put the ampule under the leg so that when you sat on it, it would crush it. I think someone ratted me out and then they had it narrowed down to two people, me or this other guy and I was I was I was spinning a good tail I was being very confident he's like we're going to search your locker we're going to search your car we're going to search your bags

and I'm like let's go let's search them let's do whatever you want to do to clear this up so I can go back to class I missed lunch for this I didn't do and he's like all right let's go and I'm like yeah they're in my car let's go get them it's like in my center console there's all the evidence in the world. It's like all the empty cardboard like packaging for the ampules extra because I if you had held out a little longer like maybe they wouldn't have checked your car in the center console. He was going to check the car. He and it was a single cab F150 lightning. So there's like not a lot of like behind the seat crammed in the trunk. There's none of that. It's everything's right here. There's a glove box and a center console and I mean they're in there. And it's not one

or two. I bought like 30 of them when I was at the fireworks store because I thought it was funny and they were 50 cents a piece or whatever and it was all in there all the evidence in the world and then though he was like all right now let's look at your locker and I was like I was actually lying I don't even have a locker I thought it was just a better story to say search my locker search my car I thought having lots of places I was willing to let you search they didn't give you a locker uh it was an option but I'd have one I didn't use it hmm I also like for a good while especially senior year when I kind of realized like all the teachers are even phoning it in like second half of the year like I just didn't use a locker at all I just

kept the four important books in my backpack the whole time I left the books in the classrooms I put them in the desk and if they went missing they went missing and when I got the class my book was in my desk and if somebody wanted to steal it they could um you know oh we didn't have desks that opened after like middle school it was just the it's like a whole there's a tray in the bottom of the desk underneath the seat you know I'd stick it down in there you need a locker in my school you couldn't make do like you had gym every day and you needed clothes for in that alone plus you'd have like the school was big enough that you couldn't visit your locker between every class you just figure out like all right I need these three books until I'm

close enough to the locker that I can swap them out and carry three different ones and I don't think kids have books like we used to every class had a thick heavy book to carry yeah yeah oh I guess they wouldn't now it's probably like digital or something yeah the American system I don't know I bet they still got books but I have seen that they've been doing is locking the phones up in those little pouches that only unlock like at the end of the day or whatever.

The kind of you get it like comedy shows and some concerts. You can tear those open if you try. Yeah, you can steal jeans at the gap but,

but you know, that's also true. I ripped my phone bag. I ripped my phone bag open at a John Mullaney show like five years ago at a giant because I had to,

I just was taking it with me to go pee in the middle of it and I was like, I bet I can, I'm not going to tear this. And I tore it. And I tore it. open. And then I was like, oh, well, I don't even want to use my phone. Like, I want to get back

out and see the rest of the comedy show. And so then I had to like pretend it was still closed and give it to the, you know, the 60-year-old lady who was opening them at the end. So have you followed this controversy about the Riyadh Comedy Festival and Saudi Arabia? I hadn't heard about it until you mentioned it before the show. So I guess the Saudis are doing what they always do and things like boxing and soccer and auto racing and just dumping tons of money into bringing the world's best comedy festival to Saudi Arabia. And I'm looking at the attendees here

and it's some of the richest comedians in the world. It's not the up-and-comers. It's Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart, Bobby Lee, Louis C.K., Mark Norman. I'm skipping the ones that I don't know off the top of my. Tom Segura, Chris Tucker, Bill Burr, Aziz Ansari, Hannibal Burris, Whitney Cummings, Pete Davidson,

whose father was killed in 9-11, are all taking the Saudi money and going to perform for them. The only person I've seen take a principled stand is literally Shane Gillis. He turned down the money, and he was like, I turn it down,

I was like, I've got to take a principal stand here. And he's like, then they doubled the bag, and I was like, fuck, I already said no. I can just say, Yes. I mean, Louie's going. You can have a fun time with Louie. I mean, I, look, I'm not saying that I would turn it down if you're into that. I go do comedy in Saudi Arabia, but, uh, I would let Louise to get jack off in front of me. After all those last, he gave me on Opie and Anthony, I'd be like, ah, gave him hell, Lou.

So when he checks off in front of girls, does he, does he spray him? No. No, he's, he would, he would ask them. I remember, uh, I knew he asked him, but, like, how, no, he just wants them to observe. He's going to handle himself over there. you stand over there and he's going to sit over here and he's going to handle himself and you watch he's a showman yeah yeah he's walking back and forth while he's jacking off comedy show yeah yeah i remember sarah silverman being like yeah he asked me that once i said sure it was fine you know he jacked off and we kind of laughed about it later i always thought it was funny yeah i think she's so hot like i know she's an older gal now but i've always thought sarah silverman

was really hot. She was in an episode or two of Star Trek Voyager when she was like in her physical prime. She's got some big old titties. It's very skinny and she's quirky and funny. I've always been really attracted to Sarah Silverman. She had a nude movie where she did full frontal. I think she got a big old Merkin on though.

She's in a shower. Boo. It should be real. She should be a real bush. I want to see Sliz. Yeah. I don't know. I want to see that thing.

I appreciate it. I thought she was younger than that person. I'm glad the show takes a unified principal stand on this. now that's stolen valor you're right they're acting like they're showing something and they're not they're just wearing a murkin if anything they're not showing something

don't care for it that's why I love Rosario Dawson well what kind of oh yeah hang on let me let me show you the my favorite link of Rosario Dawson who's just a great actress what's the big deal about the what's the big deal about the Saudi

Comedy Fest like why are people giving them shit for gone. Yeah, yeah. They're all, all of these. Your government supports them. Yeah, but these, this is not all that different.

They murdered that journalist. They chopped him up alive. The prince did. And now the prince is paying these comedians who often speak and he's inviting, no, like, I think there's audio recordings of the man screaming, please, not my arm. And then

AI's out of control. what kind of stuff was that what kind of stuff was that Koshoge guy riding was he like the truth 10 10 gay things about these dresses these guys wear instead of suits are you still copy pasting Kyle I'm looking for a good link

because I'm in it I'm looking for a good link the actual copy pasting takes 1.5 seconds but finding the good links that it's HD and then there's not a bunch of ads popping up. It takes a second.

This is the woman from Thor, right? No. It's not, she's not the Valkyrie chick. That's Natalie Portman, who is a skinny, flat, chested white girl. No, she didn't play Valkyrie. She played Thor.

Oh, well, that's definitely not Valkyri either. That's a completely different chick as well. Who's also brown. So, same, similar shades. She does look just like this. this girl was in um daredevil she was the woman who takes daredevil in um she's been a bunch of movies that uh kevin smith comedy um clerks clerk she's in clerks two and clerks three i think she's the one of these mayonnaise in her cooch a good actress i like her a lot and and i really

appreciate that she doesn't put a murkin on she's got that hoo-ha right out for the world to see good for her big big fan big fan looks like she's leaning forward like she's walking in her That looks huge. She's not like Peter Dinklage head. I can't believe you're looking at her head. Well, look at how jarry. I already looked at the rest of the photo.

But look at the head. In the background, yeah. What mess in the background? Exactly. I like how two of these are just total nudity. And one is like kind of licking at a cherry. like yeah there's got to be don't have two of these be out you know home runs and then one

she got naked in the Alexander the great movie too but I think she did have a murkin on in that one I do remember her them showing Bush I've seen too many bodybuilding pictures because the one where she's looking the cherry like this she's not flexing her bicep at all I'm like what is this yeah you can't understand what's so hot about her that kind of strong bicep yeah i didn't i didn't even notice her bicep was in frame because i scrolled right past that good stuff yeah yeah picture three is the one that's why we're here looking at cherries all day oh i found the video there we go take a second yeah you did i don't mean i don't even remember what movie this is but um who cares it's funny

woman she's walking in slow motion and the camera's panning upwards from her feet and then it gets to the good stuff and they take the slow motion and slow it down from there to where it's like I don't know this is the speed at which you'd watch water drop hitting oh here's one that's enhanced slow mo nice all right so that was this that was as slow as it needs to be it's pretty fucking slow yeah I appreciate that Natalie Portman did a stripper movie where you can see a little bit of a butthole. All right. Yeah, a little starfish action, little asshole. That's another subreddit you check out. It's called Asshole Behind Thong. Wow. These do get specific.

Very. Natalie Portman, I had a big time. Natalie Portman and Kira Knightley in like the early 2000s when I was like 10 to 12. When Kira Knightley was wearing that like just like nothing but a strap around her tits and she's running around swashbuckling with fucking Johnny Depp. I remember like watching that first Pirates of the Caribbean in theaters and like having a thought of like, I'm not registering anything to do with the plot or any dialogue any time she's on screen. Because I was probably 12 and I was like in the throes of like, I don't. I want that

so much. What I'm seeing is so desirable. I don't even know how to register it. Oh, good times. I remember like ninth grade me thinking like do girls even know the value of what they offer like I do anything yeah yeah it was it was it was like you were so horny at like 12 it was almost maddening it was like I don't even know how to handle this I guess I just got to jack off I mean let's bump that up to 14 but sure sure I hear you Well, I hadn't changed by 14. It was just a lot more was coming out. It just meant laundry day was tougher on my mom, really. Yeah, this movie's called Closer with Natalie Portman. She's a stripper, I guess. I have no idea.

I've never seen the movie. But I've seen all these clips here, though. She's just stripping. And at one point she bends over. You see a little starfish. Seven minutes. Well, let's fucking. Well, you know, you won't buffer on through that.

I didn't want to cut any of the good parts out for you. no i'll take your word for it i bet it's nice no Kyle how did your uh your board game night go the other night all victories flawless victory I dominated to the extent that some people decided to go home early

win win just code names or anything else just code names code names was a resounding victory it did not go well for anyone that was not me it was just utter domination I didn't rub it in. I was just, oh, I did? Oh, weird. Triple. Oh, another triple. That's a good one. Oh, oh, who wasn't a douchebag about it, but where did you play? Who did you play with? At my house with people. How many total players? Six. That's a good group. Did you, were you trying to make it fair at least where you're like, all right, I'll be the clue giver to these two people who haven't won one yet? No, we made teams of three. We need teams of three, and we stuck to those teams.

And then the blue team went home, and the A team stayed here. And it was just a win-win. Nice. We always just rotate the clue-givers around because otherwise you just find, like, a couple ringers, and they just clue give over and over, which sounds like. Yeah, I like to take board games so seriously that no one but me has fun. That's how I enjoy myself. Like, I've had some intense monopoly games.

I'm like, oh, you quitting? Is it a forfeit? I just want to know, is it a forfeit? Yeah, it's a long game. Oh, you thought Monopoly was a 25-minute game? Yeah, yeah, it's midnight. Do you forfeit or are we continuing? Yeah. And I take their little race car and fucking throw it into the box,

divvy up their cash between everybody. I'm like, see, now we will continue. It looks like, Mr. Top Hat, didn't do too well. And you're like, and you also, by extension, forfeit the game of risk that we were going to start right after this. at 140 in the morning. That game, I bet I've finished two games of risk ever because it gets so tedious like with, we played online and just be like, oh, someone, you know, oh, you have a giant force in Poland and I have a giant force in Russia and we'll just keep trading back and forth

here. We played online, which is one time, and it was, I don't remember like the apparatus. I don't remember where we were playing or how, but it was online and it was quick. Like, I'm pretty sure he won every time too he's confusingly good at things like that he's oh yeah i got really into risk for two years and studied under a yogi yeah i hope that i hope for his sake that's not true getting really into risk for two years is dark the game of world domination i guess kind of i'm like you i wish there was a new sieve game that didn't look like garbage and was tactical and you know deep and difficult to master and fun to like play but like as I look at the new sib games that they're so cartoony they look like iPad games and it's just not what I'm not the

aesthetic that I want to play it's a good way to put it like they look like mobile games and there's just something too light about that yeah like you know it doesn't really feel like I'm mining uranium and I'm about to wage war on the Mongols or whatever like it feels like you know all of the leaders are tongue-in-cheek silly and like you didn't even pick the most renowned warrior or warlord or leader from every civilization. It's like

they got to a point where they're like, oh, well, I don't know if we want to use Ivan the Terrible again even though it was pretty hardcore. We're going to use this like little known princess from the 1700. It's like, well, come on. Pick the good ones. It's got to be Gandhi in India. It's got to be.

Yeah, not into those games anymore. America. It's got to be Washington. Yeah, I wish I was into them. I'd like to play a game like that. But it seems like, I don't know, those RTS and even the turn-based strategy games that are sort of a hybrid or kind of a dying thing. I've heard that Dune has, is something like that. Like Dune has some sort of RTS or something. I've seen some clips of, but I haven't messed with that at all.

And I'm not really into the Dune universe. I don't love those books in that universe very much. I would like to play just World War III I wish it was a World War III game where I don't know we could fight it out as the Allies or the Axis

and you could create scenarios where you could fight smaller conflicts that would be like do some sort of Balkan invasion by the Russians and then have NATO respond that would be a fun game to play but there's nothing like that I mean I literally went through Steam

the other day after we spoke about this trying to find one and there was nothing that would scratch that itch at all. Even like the war, like the modern war, not modern, but like modern history, like a company of heroes, is that, that's the RTS, right? We played, yeah, even stuff like that. Like, it's so simplistic compared to like all the classic RTSs that stay popular, whether it's AEOE or Starcraft, like it doesn't scratch the same itch.

Like the economy balance and company of heroes was like, well, you click this guy once and you build this build, on a pre-established little signet. And then you kind of just tell your tanks where to go. Like it just wasn't. It was only, the only time I had fun playing that game was when you and I set up weird scenarios against like the two of us first like six hardest level AIs.

And we picked that map where they have to come to us across that bridge. And it was just a just brutalization. And that was great. And you get to set your own history. I got to be the Soviets. and you got to be the Vermacht or I got to be the Vermacht or I got to be the Soviet. I think actually most of our decisions were like

yeah I don't really care about I'm going to pick the team with the biggest tank and it turns out that's the Nazis. Yeah it turns out that's the Nazis or I want to play the team that can make the most tanks just like a swarm of lower quality ones. That's the fucking Soviets. British, I think the British, maybe it might have been the Soviets.

They had like a mattress tank or something but it was like a mobile rocket vehicle where it would like took forever to get a position and then on the back of the truck it would slowly like raise up with this huge bank of rockets and then you just bombard a whole area and get multi kills

the multi kills are so satisfying in that game just watching the enemy because there's like jibs like people's legs and arms fly off and there's blood and gore and you know when you pin a unit down that shouldn't have ran across the street

or you surround a tank or something it's real satisfying that was a fun game the battles were cool and it was also nice when you just like disable the tank in a choke point like it didn't totally destroy it

just disabled it and so then they have an even tighter choke point to try and work through yeah they get log jammed up yeah yeah but there's nothing

as in depth is what I actually want to play because what I want to play is like I mean it's sort of risk it's like a game of global domination but I would like to work with modern forces

and have it be probably turn based with like the hybrid hybridized like real time stuff too I like that about SIV how we take our turns but then when we're in combat it's like RTS

so we're you know clicking as fast as you can to get APM actually matters I like that mix but but I don't know I don't think anybody's making games like that they're making games with season passes that they can grind money out of you for decades yeah I mean even Warhammer is releasing more content constantly

for Warhammer 3 how's Night Rain going Woody? Mixed they introduced this new mode that's like I think it's called deep of night and it's harder and there's an elo system where if you win you get towards harder ones they dropped it and we instantly went on a 15 game winning streak like hard mode my team was ready for it and then we got to level three where we got like some wins and losses and now we're at this point where we keep like graduating

out of level three and then getting demoted to it by the level four losses and we just sort of stuck right there. I'm enjoying it. I like it. I like that there's some stakes to it in the what we call the base game, which is before the hard modes came out. We were like doing challenge runs, playing our worst characters. Certain heroes are like well equipped to use this weapon. So we'd start the game and we'd all switch weapons. Like you need to use the major staff and you need to use the claws, even though you're totally not prepared for like melee combat. And we just win with the challenger. It was going really well.

But now we've bumped off, we're finding our ceiling. And I'm having fun. We played before the show. So I'm still really into it. But I guess I'm a level three, level four player. And it goes to five. And I'm not, I need to be a five. Okay.

Well, it sounds like the grind is there to be had. Yeah. Is there, are there ever instances where you're like, I think a teammate number two if he just stepped his game a little bit or is there ever like this guy's holding us back or is it when you fail is it sort of like

we just didn't have it there there's one teammate in particular who's him and I worry he thinks that about the other one sometimes I see okay you know one guy like he's also really good at chutus he's the he's the best player

in every game he plays the guy I played Tarkoff with yeah yeah And sometimes I'm like, I'm glad he likes play. He must enjoy my company. He's really good. It's not like I don't play well sometimes too. Maybe I play better than him one in every 10 games or something.

Like he's clearly better, but not so much that his worst day is better than my best day. We're all getting better, though. Like there was a time when we were kind of stuck in three. We thought we'd be in three for a long time. and now if we do get demoted to three, we know we're coming right back to four. That sounds good. I wish that my game did that.

I wish that Hell Divers was harder. I can play Hell Divers on the hardest difficulty and not bring my best stuff, and I still win. And if I play with a group, it's not even close. Like, if there's four people, the difficulty scales, like they add four times as many enemies or four times as often enemies, but four people working together is just too much

for the enemy to take. Like, if we know what we're doing, we'll just, we'll run that shit. And I want it to be harder. I want it to be more difficult. And I think that they, I think they've been too crowd-pleasy with that game because it is just, you know, it's PVE.

But I want there to be a level 11 that I can't beat. I want to fail frequently and be like, ah, man, they got us cornered there. And then we missed that special. and then he breathed fire on you and next time we can't let that happen to us we can't get back to into a corner I'd like there to be like a session like that

where it's like we gotta go back to the drawing board and figure out how to do this but that just isn't there for that game I don't think I wrote this down in news that will be very disappointing to you Kyle and it's a shock to everyone unfortunately in an unforeseen way

no one could have predicted NASA has had to delay the lunar mission for another few years. Are they still on schedule for no sooner than 2025? Well, I think now they're... We're in a fucking race

with China, by the way. China's going to go to the moon before us. This is spacenews.com, they know. It says NASA safety panel warns, Starship Lunar Lander could be delayed by years. Fiddle sticks. Oh, and it was so close, right?

If the Chinese walk on the moon, it is going to be a bit of a black eye and it's going to be a bit of a realization. I don't know if you've seen like China's recent air show but they showed off a ton of like futuristic looking stuff that supposedly works but it's one of those things again where none of it's ever been proven in battle and you wonder like is that just you ever see like a um someone takes like a honda civic and makes it look like a supra or something or makes it look like a lambo because he got a body

kid on it and this six thousand dollar car looks like a hundred and fifty thousand dollar car certain suddenly i wonder if that's what some of their gear is like but if they land on the moon and a guy gets out and he walks around and he comes back to the earth that is an incredibly complicated stage of multiple sciences being coordinated in an orchestra of competence and it would be a bad look if they can make it happen just a spacesuit designing a spacesuit is this this is incredibly difficult thing there's this weird aggregate on the moon like the moon dust is like abrasive like powdered glass or something it gets it's everywhere. It's static. I don't know what the word is for when static affects something,

but static electricity makes it bond to everything on them. It gets in their zippers and in their creases and it scratches all the lenses that everything that can like rub against another thing. Yeah. Well, the moon is hard. Everyone does. Yeah. We don't have a spacesuit right now for the moon. We don't have one. We surely do. We had one in 1969. It's not compatible with modern technology. that's no more we do not have humiliating to not be able to go back right now this should be a weekend excursion at this point it's been fucking 50 years getting there's no problem it's the landing taking off and like walking around that's such a part of going i i'm aware that's such a huge part of it like that and the fact that they're like hey did you know that we basically did this with rubber band

and a cassette tape in 1969 and now it makes you we can't come on you realize the balls of of fuck guys like Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin that they went up there with that 1960s horse shit and did all that. There are still people with those balls. Yeah, there's still people who are ballsy. Dude, the moon landing is one conspiracy that I refuse

to go down that rabbit hole. I refuse. If it is fake, I will never buy it. You can see it with a telescope. It is an incredible thing, and it's 100% real. I can name a dozen paramotor friends who would go to the moon.

Yeah. Oh, I go. Lack of ballziness is not the thing. But see, but see, it's almost that thing you're talking about earlier where you have to be knowledgeable enough in a subject to know that you're not good at it and that those things never catch each other. I think that we're so ignorant about the dangers of that space travel. They're like, strap me in, baby.

What's the worst thing? And they're like, oh, you don't even want to know. The worst thing? I don't know. I just don't think balls are that uncodied. Katie Perry would do it. no she would not no she went to she didn't even go to real space she went to

bullshit space I saw the graph dude she went as far as she could as far as they let her Katie Perry has the balls to go to the moon she would go dude I was watching like here's the problems that I see as an amateur YouTube

astronaut when they send that lander down and it has to like softly touch down on the lunar surface and not damage itself so because it's going to have to leave again it can't be crooked it can't be sitting in a pothole that place is nothing but craters it doesn't have any uh any erosion so every crater that's ever been there is still there since the thing solidified it has to sit down right if it falls over and you break down there is no backup you are

now going to stay here until you suffer how heavy is it Zach pull up the landing module from the 60s look at this hunk of shit and you're telling me we can't make something better this thing looks ridiculous we could make something 20 times better than that thing tipped over I watched a movie about the things and it could tip it back. Oh, you watched a movie about it. Yes. It's my mistake. That thing is incredibly complicated. I watched Interstellar.

I watched Interstellar the other night. And part of the propaganda thing was like him being like, my daughter, you're going to tell her she can't go to college because of this and that. And she's like, well, she's pushing back. And we're trying to tell her that the moon landing was Cold War propaganda. And like just hearing that in a movie, I'm like, this fucking commie. That's 2.4. billion dollars right there that thing is looks like a Halloween decoration we could make

something a hundred times better than that if that thing was tipped over I could tip it back yeah how much let's see how much it weighs and then obviously not that much gravity on the moon I'm counting on that what does the limb wait dude I would I wouldn't feel safe here if it were shelter on a paintball course like this is this thing Zach says it's almost 11,000 pounds it's more than that but less on the moon yeah I'm getting the ratio right now. I believe in you. One sticks and the limb

weighs 33,000 pounds. So it would weigh 5,050 pounds or something like that. Not a problem. Easy work. Yeah. It weighs what a car weighs even on the moon. Light day for me. I mean, you see the ladder for like scale on the left side. So you can imagine a man. It's so much bigger than

I thought it was. I figured the I was like, that flag looks tiny. It must be way on the distance. And then you show me the ladder. And I'm like, God. So they landed that on the moon. I thought my head came up like two thirds of this. What's with the tinfoil?

Next time we do this, we can't have tinfoil on there. That's reflecting radiation and heat away from the people on the inside, I think. Then why is it only on the bottom part? Either make the whole thing gold or don't have gold on it. They mix gold and silver on it. It's a little trim, all right?

It's a little trim. It's a little trumpy. Dude, imagine how garish our lunar planter would be in charge it would make it'd be made a gold so it'd make this huge crater it's so fucking heavy I I think his sense of style is really bad

it's it's really bad it's I can see it being fun with no taste thinks good taste is like in short dose I could see myself having fun at a hotel with that level of garrishness where it's like oh this is like novel casino yeah a casino the idea

of living in that environment though sounds like it's just it's it's too much it's too loud everywhere is loud i even like on my fixtures and stuff like i prefer chrome to gold and i yeah no it's just not a good look to me he's everyone else needs to cut back while he turns the place into gold and installs a ballroom they need a middle ground between obama's just looking like a principal's office and trumps looking like a casino Like it should be

It should be more fanfare More fanciness From the in the Obama But also The Trump's where I went to the Trump Taj Mahal Oh okay Yeah but those things went bankrupt

And those are like early 90s Like we're going bankrupt too This tracks Yeah No that's not true We can print more money From the money printing factory But that we're somehow like

indebted to Can we like what if If we ever just got real tired Of the debt to the feds Could we just be like Nah we're you guys are all going to jail. We're just going to lock you up.

Just make a crypto that's worth 37 trillion and exchange it or something? I don't know. Yeah, rug pull those guys. Show them what it feels like. That would be good. Fuck those guys. Trump said that. I don't know. I have heard about that where governments

who are failing, it's like, oh, the Zimbabwe government is minting a five septillion dollar bill that they will hand over to the Swiss in order to facilitate the bolstering of their economy. And it's just funny that that is a thing that they can do. That economies don't actually work.

Like, I'm sure there's got to be an economy out there. I'm sorry. I got to excited because we're talking about it. A little bailout, all right? The United States is bailing out Argentina. And I'm like, Taylor will not like this. What have they done for me? And I was going to say lately, but no, ever.

What does Argentina ever done for me? That chainsaw guy's pretty cool. You like him. Oh, right. he was that do you remember Elon Musk held the chainsaw and said he was cutting on budget? We were modeling ourselves after Argentina

and now we're bailing out Argentina I thought you guys were making like a movie reference and I'm like of course you know I don't fucking know Argentina's chainsaw guy but yeah that's pretty gay is it 200 million or something I don't know billion I thought it was 200 million but that's the number I have in my head

but I just glanced at a number. That can't be right 200 million wouldn't be enough to bail out a country as big as Argentina. I don't fucking note. I'm hoping it's not 200 billion. Actually, it's 20 billion, which is still lower than I thought. I'm in the bucket.

Argentina can solve their own fucking problems. Clearly not. Well, I mean, I don't, I don't want to What you got to do is butter up Trump and he'll give you $20 billion. What are the ramifications for their government failing, though? I don't know. Who cares? I don't know. Maybe we get something important

from Argentina and suddenly not having it the same as Ukraine's government failing. Doesn't impact Americans really at all. Oh, don't do this. You're real, you communist bastard, you know, just let those Ukrainian freedom fighters do their thing, all right? They gave you what you wanted. We're not giving them a dime anymore. Dude, I just said they have tens of thousands of women fighting, which is a sign of a side that is currently dominating in a war. We have tens of thousands of women fighting in our arms forces. I think it means. Is it a sign of time? Is it out of volunteering or out of desperation? Because there's difference.

Does anyone work because they enjoy it other than like maybe 1% of people? Like, yeah, I'd do this even if they didn't pay me. No, everybody's working for their nut. Everybody's working to get their nuts. Nobody's showing up at 8 a.m. at the fucking money factory because they do it for the love of the game. I'm just thinking of it, man. You've been as a Linsky boy for three years now. All I'm saying is I'm fighting for truth, justice in the American way.

And that involves supporting the train. That involves forever one. ...fight against the children kidnapping orcs from the fucking east. This is literally like when they were lighting the beacons. And Aragorn runs in, The beacons are lit. Fucking Taylor's over there like,

nah, no, we're staying right here. Actually, let's build a big wall here around this little hill we all live on. And no orcs will ever bother us. They'll own... Rohan stands alone.

It's a powerful argument, Taylor. It's a retarded argument. Those orcs don't have... anything against the people of rogan those are more don't even jokes those are i was i almost said you don't appreciate game of thrones because that's funny our fight is the white tower our fight is with the white tower and sarumon the supposedly white not with mordor and they're like i don't know i think they're very close your comparison would work if mordor spent years trying and failing to take small pieces of osciliath but they didn't because mordor was a big threat to the whole free

of Middle Earth. Russia can't even fucking conquer Ukraine. No, I'm saying that the equivalent of here. Than Osgiliath takes up. Osgiliah is a little port town

that looks like 500 people live in it. Wrong. Osgiliath is not a port town, moron. What is that? They're on like a river or something there.

Is that not a port town? Oh, being on a river is a port town now? Is it not? Am I wrong? No, you have to be on some... What do you call it? What do you have to be on something

called port, which is usually on the sea. Let's see what Google says if you're on a river. Yeah, isn't St. Louis a port town? I think it is. Nah, not a real port town. You have to be on the ocean to have a port. Yeah, you're on a port town if you're on a river and have a harbor where ships can dock and load and I seem to remember the fucking or. Did Taylor call you a little for not, for thinking it was a port town?

He did. Even though he lives in a real port and he can't identify. I really feel like there's a year rubber on blue situation going on here. Well, that is. And I and guess what? I'm rubber. I'm the fucking rubber. Bounces off me and sticks to you. I don't know that one. We didn't do that one in school. You didn't do that one?

No, dude, Russia, if Mordor was as inept as Russia in war, fucking Faramir would have never had to apologize to Denethor because he would have defended handily. They would have pushed back little meters at a time. Jackie every day. And Jackie still doesn't get it. Number one, Osguileth is on a port town. Number two, Mortar, is not a threat.

I'll even ask if Osgiliath is a port town. Wait, what did you ask the first time? Is a town on a river with a harbor a port town? And it said, yeah. Where's my Lord of the Rings map? It's with your helmet. It's a strategic location on the Andoan, made in Gondor's chief trade center.

It's literally a hub for water transportation connecting the coastal cities of Palager and the inland territories. Oh my gosh. Taylor, would you learn something about Lord of the Rings? Here's this decline. Just so much misinformation.

If I were the Biden administration, I'd be recognizing YouTube to have this section removed. Read you some arellian sometime. Look at a map. It's on a river. It's on a river. It's on a river. If Russia was as powerful as Mordor, I would be all in. I'd be like,

we need to put a stop to this because they're creating trolls. They're creating a new kind of orc called an Urukai, and they're smarter and stronger and faster. They didn't do that. That was the white hand. No, no. Mordor.

They didn't breed orcs with goblin men. So at the, in the return of the king, most of the Aisengarde Uriqai are in Mordor at that point, because they fled after the ends destroyed Eisenhower. See those rivers converging? there. So see It's a terrible map. We do better than this. Do you see... It's like red on white.

All right. So see where it says Minas Tirith, where his... Yeah, Alskiliath, right there. It's on the river. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the port town of Osgiliath there on the river. Oh, to the right of Minas Tirith. Okay. Yeah, the river town of Oskillia. Dude, it's a vibe in port town. I don't... Yeah, you guys suck.

Checkmate. Checkmate. I do. and I just don't know why we can't support Ukraine in their war you know we're not even giving them money anymore Taylor we're selling if anything it's a boom to our economy because NATO is or the European Union or whatever is buying those arms from Donald Trump's United States as a taxpayer I deserve a jewel or whatever we're getting from Ukraine I deserve a chunk of it all of us are taxpayers we all deserve a reward consummate our contribution And when we turn a profit, you'll get one. We've been running in a deficit for decades.

What are we getting? What kind of stones or minerals? I genuinely don't know. They've mentioned rare earth minerals, but when you look at what Ukraine actually produces, it's a lot of what you might think of as common metals like nickel and iron, but I suppose those are strategic resources. But I got to imagine that there's some sort of rare earth elements there as well.

Yeah, there's no way they're giving us iron. nuclear science or something. We're getting fucking hosed if we're getting iron or nickel. Well, it's a dollar amount, so it doesn't matter if it's you know, wheat or water or air. Like there's a dollar amount value assigned to what we get. We get some

enormous... Yeah, but there's a pride aspect to it too. Is there, you know... It should be rubies, should be sapphires. Should be something precious. Okay, Jafar. I want the crown jewels of Kiev. Yeah.

Dude, I saw Trump doing like the pro-Ukraine thing, and my first thought was like, Kyle's going to be so stoked on this. Damn it. I saw a bailing out Argentina, like Taylor's going to hate it. I don't like that either. Doing anything for not America is like, stop. Because the storyline was that that new libertarian that they've got that cut like the government into one eighth of what it was before had turned the place around. And I still believe I saw some.

some report that he had in many ways turned the place around and it was doing better so I wish that they had done a better job of explaining what this $200 billion is for why they need it $20 billion my bad 10 times what I said why they need it how it benefits us I would like it if our government had

like he does these frivolous news conferences all the time we had one the other day for Tylenol causes autism there's no reason we couldn't stop and be like hey you're going to read in the papers tomorrow that we're sending a 20 billion dollars to our good friends down in South America. The great nation of our Argentine. Argentine. They need a little bailout from us and I want you might be concerned about this because this is your money, my money and our money. Well let me

explain. I would love to get that and like even if it's a bad sales pitch I'd appreciate that he'd let us know but he's just yeah they just mailed that money out of her pockets. No insults to the proud Argentinian people but and I'm no historian but isn't Argentine Tina, one of those countries that's like half a century into just a horrible economy like just constantly struggling.

Well, they're doing a new thing. Like I said, that new guy that took over that libertarian... The guy with the Lego hair. Pull him up. The guy with the Lego hair and the chains are. It looks like he's a fucking Lego. He's got that like we could switch the hair out on different Legos. They plugs and plays. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I worry they just hired a showman like we did

and that like all the good news isn't trustworthy. no matter who we elect they all agree that spending has to go up they all love that no not in Argentina oh I was meaning in the US because we have to fucking pull Argentina out which

what does Argentina do for us I've heard they have good beef great for them but other than that seriously what do they I think if Brazil is the beef people but I'm maybe Argentina too I think they have a flag that I kind of like yeah the fucking Lego guy some guy look at those sideburns like what is that

the sideburns are the thing I kind of those are kind of fun but the rest of it not great looks like the guy from the righteous You know what he's got to He's got to just go whole hog with it And have like a

Like a like a Chester Arthur Or whatever that guy's name was The big old sideburns That almost come down to the chin area I'm stuck I'm comparing myself to him My hair has much less gray But my beard has much more

What is his age Javier Millay. He is 54. Oh, okay. I'm 52. Close. Yeah, look at this. He looks like, what's his name from Righteous Jimstones? Look at this picture. Yeah, pull that up as well, Zach. Oh, he does.

Oh, I'll tell you another lookalike I realized the other day. This is kind of a deep cut. Woody, did you ever see the Tom Hanks 1980s comedy The Burbs? It's a very funny movie. It's one of my childhood favorites. My parents loved it and we'd watched it multiple times throughout my childhood.

Dr. Clopec in that movie looks just like Bibi Netanyahu. And it's not even it's, let me, let me find you a couple of pictures here. Victor Klopek.

Yes. Hmm, if he looks like Netanyahu, he probably looks like a Middle Easterner, right? Surely not like a Polish or Ukrainian guy. Why do you always do this?

Why does this always happen? All right, so here's Dr. Klopek. And then I'll try to find Netanyahu. Huh. He really does. And I noticed this guy, I recognize this guy's face from other things. Me too. I feel like I've seen him as a side character in a lot of stuff.

But I can't recall him starring in anything. And there's Netanyahu. it's pretty close I mean they're both kind of oh that's chubby Yahoo you need wartime Yahoo's he slimmed down a little bit he's slimmed down a little bit he's slimming good for him yeah he's been beating prisoners

he's been beating a lot of prisoners you know I don't you have to find an exercise that you enjoy otherwise you won't stick to it I do like Netanyahu's could not care less attitude about everything he's like I'm going to do what I think is best for Israel and everyone on earth is, even the U.S.

is like, please, please don't. We have to defend you for weird reasons. And he's like, oh, that's interesting. Fuck you. I don't know how many, we used to joke about how many countries the United States was bombing, you know, at any one time. I saw some quote in a movie one time, and I'm sure it was accurate. And they were like, at any one time, we're bombing 13 countries across the planet.

And I'm just like, oh, my God, that's, that's insane that we're, really? How many is Israel bombing right now? There's only nine and a half million Israelis in that little bitty skinny country. And it seems like they are waging a global war against everyone. Qatar, Lebanon. Yeah. Syria. Iran.

We left out Palestine. Iran. He's not the country. How do you name it then? Palestine, we name it Israel too. Okay. We name it. We name it beachfront property.

27. What the ancient Romans did, Palestine. Sounds feminine. Yeah. It is a little gay. They don't get bullied enough for that. But yeah.

And the only reason we're not hitting Afghanistan and Iraq is because they were already handled. So like it was kind of like every... He wants to go back into Afghanistan, right? Get the airport. Instead of the people that originally made it, which is Russia.

The Soviets built it back in the day. It's probably a terrible airport that needs replaced anyway. Better than any other of the airports that they have in Afghanistan, I would imagine. The Wright brothers would be like, whoa, a little bumpy out here. Is that a body? The Afghanis are still at that stage of flight where it's like a guy pulling a lever and it's like a big spiral. Everyone claps when the plane makes it into the air. It's like a guy in that plane where it's got 15 sets of wings because the guy was like,

he only did the lift calculation per wing and he's like this flight shit's easy and then just adds enough wings to create lift. Remember when they were hanging onto our planes when we were like running out of there and they were there falling off the wings of the planes? That's on them

they had seen enough planes to know what's up the plane itself is up yeah I was fucked up that was that was wild to see it looked like those guys need to stick to their jungle gyms. They're mean on the monkey boys. They've been training.

Have you ever seen Taliban guys playing four square? Do you think we'll go back into it? We won't go back. No, no, we don't. I think it's a major effort to mobilize,

get that done. Yeah, we're radically hated there. I think it's way more likely that we invade Venezuela than Afghanistan. I would give it a 20% chance that we are actually going to go to war with Venezuela. Trump is? Somehow, I'm sorry, you were talking, but he vibes

gorilla to me, right? Like, he beats his chest and he runs up to you, but he doesn't attack. I thought you were saying guerrilla as if he was like, you know, secret and tactical. And I'm like, I don't get that vibe. I get very loud and bombastic. Like, that's what he does. He's killed a lot of people, though.

He's bombed a lot of Iranians. He killed that Iranian general with the ninja missile back in the day. He killed that There's that one that Shane Gillis tells the story about the guy that they sent the dogs and the robot in to kill. Shane Gillis, you know, Trump's making fun of him. He's like, he cried like a little girl. He died like a coward, like a dog. And Shane Gillis is like, they sent in attack dogs and a robot.

I'd be fucking scared too, bro. Who wouldn't be scared? He's hilarious. The way he like empathizes with the bad guys, you know. That's real. That's scary shit. The Americans, they're cold. And also, like, you watch that speech from Trump, and it's, it is an all-time funny Trump speech. Like, I don't know if there is a funnier speech of him.

Like, his, the Trump speech is funnier than the Shane Gillis reenactment of it because it's so crazy that he's like learning in real time doing his like, just walked in, gave it a once over on the outline, and then he's like discovering things as he's reading. He's sort of like telling you what he had just, he'd been in the situation room, I'm sure you've seen it. And they get to watch those seal raids and stuff, almost live, like it's a video game. And so he got to watch all that shit go down. And then he's right out in front of the cameras seemingly within an hour or less. And he's just like, I just seen some shit, y'all. We got this guy and stumbles over his name. An evil man. A mom. A mom. monster and he's like breaking it down the dogs beautiful dogs that's one of his

greatest speeches for sure it's hilarious and we we will never get that guy again because he's fucking 80 he's honing it juvenated like like I feel like if he gets another war going like if he if he if he goes in there and he he he mud stops Venezuela he'd be more tired than ever dude what if he showed up wearing a general's outfit like once the war starts well I wouldn't you're thinking of Nancy Mace what if he showed up what if he showed up like a full fucking like uniform like an admiral or some shit

like he had the captain crunch hat on and everything he sort of dust it off sits it on the podium like that can be kind of funny to all the generals I know I brought it up before but is that anything that I'm a little shy at thinking that it's something significant because I've seen a couple crying wolf events like oh my god

the Pentagon just ordered 97 Pizzas. When that happens, it means this. Well, they did bomb Iran like a week after that. Maybe that's it. I don't know. So maybe you're right. Maybe I'm wrong. In my head, I remembered it being like a false alarm. And there was like two or three instances where they like monitored the pizza delivery to the Pentagon and thought something big was happening. And then to me, it didn't turn into anything. But maybe it did. Maybe it was the Iran thing. So here he's calling together all the generals.

It's different, but same sort of vibe, where for all I know, he's going to yell at them about DEI, and that's the whole story. Or he could be talking to them about invading Venezuela. I don't know. Hopefully not the latter. Why not? Let's do it. Because it's just enough, man. What are you, a Venezuelan defender now?

Are you a member of Trenda Aragua? Let me see your, let me see your knuckles. Let me see them. No. I won't even show his knuckles. I won't even show his knuckles on camera. You don't see me high on. How kind of evidence is there?

If you would have gave me some lead time, I would have written. Dude, next week, you should just have to like no reason. And I'd be like, and they're deporting me. And I'm a Maryland man. I'm just a Missouri man. Yeah, I don't care. Let's do it. Like, why not?

Seems like they're clearly, because why would we bother? We spent so much money in other. Trump's political ally was imprisoned for trying to steal the election down there. I don't give a fuck about Venezuela. Trump does, though. Trump's got to get his buddy out of prison and prop him up as a puppet What is Venezuela ever done for me?

Well, I mean, the oil would be nice. Aren't they like part of that that group of oil producing nations? They are. They have the largest oil reserves of any nation on earth. Everybody says that there's different ways to measure the largest

reserves on earth. Look at it. Look at it. Look at I'm not saying that if I look it up, you'll be wrong. I'm just saying, I've heard Saudi Arabia is the biggest, America's the biggest, Venezuela is the biggest, okay? Oh, you don't count that continent? That would just slip right off your flat earth. It's not a country.

It's not a country at all. So it's up for grabs for the entire international community. And anything that's up for grabs means America. Except for the moon, apparently. Except for the fucking moon, because they can't get their shit together. You know, the thing about the moon that actually might be vital in the future. So if they ever figure out fusion energy, the fuel for

the best fuel for fusion energy is supposed to this thing called helium 3. It's an isotope fuel, helium obviously. And it's all over the moon. It's like what the moon's made of. Is that true? Because that was in that space cowboy TV show we both liked. It's true because they're basing real life science.

They're writing it into the show. Okay. I didn't even know helium was real. I was like they could have called it just unobtamium like they did in Avatar. No, it's the real world reason why the moon might be a conflict zone for China and the United States or any economy who has figured out both fusion energy and space travel well enough to go to the moon and get the stuff. It's also what they're getting in the movie Moon with Sam Rockwell.

That's what he's sending back. He's sending back helium three. Is that the one where he's like, he doesn't realize a replicant of some sort? That's not that one. is that the one where he was dead the whole time? Don't spirl it. Don't watch the movie.

It's really long and dull. Me and Taylor love it. Moon is one of my favorite movies. I love that. Oh, yeah. If I can summarize a two-hour movie in 20 seconds, it's too long. I really like, wait, what is his name?

That's not Ed Norton. Same Rockball. I always confused those two. Yeah, Moon Rocks. That was one of those movies that the first time I ever watched it I'm like, this is in my canon now. Like this is

one of those movies I'm going to come back to from time to time. He's a great actor. I think Kevin Spacey might be the voice of his robot pal who's like being very deceptive and underhanded at times which good role for him. Good role for him. It is. It'd be great if the robot was like

fondling his balls while he was coming out of hyper sleep and he's like groggy like Seinfeld coming out of the gas. He's not sure if it really happened or not. yeah it's like i remember watching american beauty for the first time being like oh what the fuck is this this is a whole movie about like a 46 year old like hitting on a like was she i guess she was supposed to be a teenager next door 18 because she had to do it maybe she was supposed to be underage but then they had a nude scene with her and so clearly the actress was of age i'm seeing how she's because she gets out she gets out of the pool topless and naked

17. And they wouldn't do that to a young girl? They definitely would do that to a young girl. Yeah, yeah. She's 17 at the time. A girl under 18 naked, right? Very rarely, but not in an entirely sexualized scene like what you're describing. But it has happened. Like, Brooke Shields is fairly naked in Blue Lagoon. She was like 12. It's like a swimming scene. It's not like a love making scene. Bottomless swimming scene. Well, you know, it's filmed low and it's it's underwater photography. you don't get a up close and personal well I've never seen that but I thought I just

swimming in the ocean wouldn't allow nudity Woody is sexualizing some a brother-ish sister who were swimming in the ocean together nude Is Blue Lagoon a good movie or is it just known for this Only if you want a coom Only if you're only if you're a cumer I actually thought it was a good movie but I was young

So I don't like stand by that And it's about oh you haven't seen it Not so what This family goes sailing Like the parents go overboard or something And these two kids who are like maybe 10 or 12 find themselves alone on an island. And they make do. They find a way to like build a little hut and the boy is pretty good at fishing.

But they go through their whole like second, their brother and sister, I think. And, uh, you know, she bleeds like she may she mocks him. He learns to masturbate and they fuck. And Kyle accuses me of sexualizing this. I'm like I don't know there's nothing more sexual than intercourse they're siblings I'm pretty sure about am I wrong about that part they grow up together on it this is saying they're not a story follows a young boy and girl who are shipwrecked on a tropical island as children and grow up together eventually falling in love this says they're not brother and sister

oh they're not okay so I was wrong two young children I'm not they're cousins okay well you know that's I was close yeah yeah a lot of cousins married though like oddly enough a lot of famous people married their cousins from Georgia I mean you know just the world in general you know I know y'all have gotten away from our conservative ways down here in the peach state

we still do things right what he's making fun of the entire Middle East right now really just yeah and all of India and all of India I turned down the world's highest incestrate is it India or are we guessing I take India highest rate and keep in mind

by saying that because they're like 1.2 billion people or whatever that's that's an enormous amount I don't think it's going to be India I think it's going to be like some tribal place like like a

oh wow like Brazil or something in the woods I don't think Brazil I don't think they have data for that but yeah like you could say like oh the Congo or like something like that but countries like that don't even have data.

And so I would guess somewhere in the Middle East, but like where's the most backwards place in the Middle East? Afghanistan, maybe? Chad. Chad's in Africa. Oh, no. I just remember watching this thing about someone whose daughter was kidnapped away to chat and thinking about that is a scary.

That's a terrible country to be. It's a landlock. Where's fish from? Lebanon, maybe? Lebanon. Oh, Lebanon. I wanted it to be Pakistan because that's the country with the highest And then like

What's funny is like India and Pakistan having a feud It's like I can't tell the fucking difference They can't either Those lines were drawn And like the next day they're like This is the new lines And people were like didn't know if they were an Indian or Pakistani They had to just like move

It does not separate the Hindus and the Muslims Anywhere near appropriately On Twitter Pick like two countries that are near each other and just put like fighting or verse in the search and you'll like see an entire section of Twitter

that's Indians or whatever being like these fucking animals in Pakistan they will kill you they are beasts beasts and no more show that map stack Kenya and Djibouti or what is it

look how centralized incest is on our planet there's a band of it where it must be more culturally acceptable, right? Like the Northern Africa into the Middle East. Aliens if they came here, might see a pattern. And keep in mind,

the sub-Saharan part of Africa, we don't have data because they're putting up billboards on not to murder bald people to get gold out of their heads. Oh yeah, there's no data. Yeah, they don't have data. They got bigger fish to fry. You're right. No, I interpreted that like

color as like a low number. Like the other light colors. Do you count rape? Yes, of course we count rape. Oh, then 100%. And this is frowned upon in your country, is it? I almost said Sri Lanka, who's doing pretty well on the list. Yikes.

Sri Lanka is just south of India. Maybe they've just all got hot sisters, you know, you know, maybe. Every other country, I mean, South America, North America, Europe, They're all looking, they're all, they're all liars. Maybe we just lie better. Is that what's going on? No, I think you can just genetic test. There should be like a little hot spot in Alabama. I think that'd be funny. I wonder if it actually is higher in Alabama. My understanding is that, that an antebellum times married cousins was very common. But I think it was common like nationwide. I think a lot of our presidents were married to their cousins. I think it's just a thing you did.

It was like a hot woman that you weren't directly, directly related to that you knew was a decent person and like maybe the family fortune wasn't going to be diversified out to this other group of people. It might have seemed like a good idea for any number of reasons. But as far as like I think the isolated regions in the South, like in the Appalachian Mountains and places like that, those mountainous communities, I think it's actually high there. Like West Virginia is known for its incest, I believe, because of it's really wrong. rural isolated communities like valley it'll be like in the valley between two mountains with one road that comes in and one road that comes out and no major local industry other than maybe a cojoining uh coal mine or something like that it's the only source of income for the entire town and it's like yeah there's there's not a lot of options i think and there's a lot of ignorance as

well because just because of its isolated nature i'm sure um i know when i went to west virginia i've only been there once. It was bar none, the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life. Like, I joked about New Jersey. I joked about Boston women. Boston women are of a particularly fugly sort, but good God, we were in this medium-sized country town in West Virginia, and we started looking for an attractive person. Like it was a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, we're looking for a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, but we're really just looking for a fuckable woman and we all lost. We all lost. Dude, it looks like

our rates are getting bumped up in America because of South Asians. Pakistani, Indian Bangladeshi says this is substantiated by patterns in immigrant communities where 20 to 55 percent of marriages are consanguineous

far exceeding the general U.S. rate. I wonder what's going to be in Indian, Pakistan. Like, Pakistan's 62% in India's is 7.5, if the state is right. those numbers are not the same oh is india more hindu or muslim hindu by far that's your answer yeah what's the big crux of their disagreement is pakistan are the muslim indians and indians or the hindu indians yeah that's your answer right there it's the and then bangladesh are the the river

hating indians and also largely Muslim right i think i don't know i don't know much about the demographics of uh the brown part of asia they didn't teach any of that in school Cool. I just got to lean on my history channel and my YouTube documentaries. I know more about, I know more about Warhammer lore than I do Bangladesh. Let's see what Grock Fast says about Bangladesh religions percentage. They should call it GROC slow. Okay. No, because I just have this. 91% of it. Islam. So there you go, on Bangladesh. Yeah, that'll do it to you.

I bet there, you know, some Christian communities, I know when it was, was there incest in the Mormon faith? I know there was that polygamy and lots of like maybe wife sharing or swapping even. Like not in the way

where like you swap for the night, but like their Pokemon cards. Like, you know, I got two charades and you got two squirrels. Let's let's make a little something happen here. I think, I think they, you know, they were all in on polygamy, but I don't, I think they were, uh, incest diverse in the Mormons. That's good. That almost makes it seem acceptable. They weren't all, they weren't all down with that. They're exploding. There's more Mormons every year. We got into this talk to the end of the Mormons. The Mormons are Christians or not. And, and I, and, and my point was this. The Mormons believed that Christ rose from the dead. And then instead of ascending to heaven as I was taught in the church of God, which was the domination.

that I went to, that he came to America, North America, specifically the Midwest, I believe, and hung out with some Indians, Native American Indians, Aboriginal types that were actually the descendants of Israelites, and they impressed their faith upon them. I believe that that's at the core of their religion. And it's not like one of those like black people being the dead. devil thing that they're like oh yeah we don't talk about anymore i think it's like the central thing to their religion is that christ came over here and had a second testament a third yeah third testament

right so yeah because he rose and did the third yeah two uh three point oh the old testament the new testament yeah i mean like Mormonism and i don't have the requisite knowledge on it but it's always felt to me like like you know how gladiator two had nothing to do with gladiator one yeah and like it's a different director the actors are different and it's like like this is like oh well picture a different sequel then because i didn't know that like it just it's like this is this is weird three's coming like why why add to this and also like it is funny to be like yeah and then the new testament kind of got wrapped up uh you know a decade or two after christ's death and then god took a pause for 1830 years and then he gave it to this guy yeah

So like, okay, well, is there something essential that he gave this guy? It's like, no, just kind of like, it's kind of addendums. Yeah, for those that don't know, it was a huckster by the name of Joseph Smith, who claimed that he had found the golden tablets, that he had been told where to dig them up and find them by the angel of the Lord Maronai, right? The angel of Lord Maronai had told him where to go and dig and find the golden tablets that were the next books of the Bible. he went dug those tablets up he told his buddy holy shit i found his golden tablets he's like can i see him he's

like no um but i will read them out of this magical hat that i stick my head in and you will write down what i've written and so they did that and night after night he's sticking his head in this hat he's reading these magical uh golden tablets he's telling his buddy what to write down and his buddy's wife is like the fuck are you doing with that con man and he's like we've got a new book of the bible work cooking over here and she's like all right tell you what is this tonight's writings tell him you lost them tell him you lost all the work from last night and then he should be

able to go right back to his golden tablet and he should have the exact same stuff that you can write down tonight and he's like nailed it so they do that and he says you've lost the word of God he's mad and actually

he's going to punish us and that book of the Bible will be forever lost to man because God is spiteful and petty like that. Quick on his feet dude. Can you imagine looking at nothing through a hat and riffing an entire book of the Bible? Hours

at a time. I mean, the man had the gift of Gab at the very least. He clearly did. He convinced that other fellow and then they went on and commenced all those other people. What's he saying here? Did I get to, no, I don't get, I have to squeeze your wife's tits? They murdered a ton of

they murdered all, they murdered those people who were immigrating West through their territory. They basically carved out their own version of the Confederacy in the Midwest, and we're like, this is a Mormon nation separate unto the United States of America. You stay out. And they were massacring white settlers and blaming it on Native Americans. They were straight up riding into like wagon trains of white people immigrating west, trying to get to California or whatever, do the Oregon Trail bullshit. And they would put on masks and dress up as Indians. This is the Mormon church, right? The head of the

Mormon church leading, they would massacre these people and scalp them and desecrate their bodies and then blame it on Indians who were maybe complicit, maybe not, but in any case, they were the ones who got massacred in return eventually. So I just don't count them as Christians. I mean, they were total bullies and they did exactly what they said. You were talking about, they like set up a little segmented area and they were like fucked with people. and tried to trick him into thinking and his other people responsible and that's why they are in Utah

because they tried that shit in Missouri and a bunch of Missouri people were like you guys are fucking lunatics you know Jesus died thousands of years ago there's no way he popped up to talk to this goober in the last you know

16 months like no stop it get out of here and then they were causing problems burning farms good Missouri owned farms and then I always say about the Catholics too I know technically the Catholics are Christian But when I look at the Catholic religion, it's like, I thought this was a monotheistic religion that we had here with one God. I get that there's the embodiment of Christ and the spirit of the Lord.

I can understand that that is just one God working in different ways through the perception of man, if I really want to lean into this thing. I get that. Sure. But they got all these saints. I got all these medallions. They got all this iconography. They've got all these weird rituals. They've got these urns of incense.

They're flicking holy water on people. I'm fine with the, you know, the, what do you call it when you take the body of Christ? Communion. Communion makes sense to me. That goes right back to Christ himself. You know, like he performs the first communion. Like, I get that too. That is Christian to me.

Christ followings are Christian to me. You could even leave the Old Testament out to some extent if I want to really boil down what a Christian is to me. But when I see like all those little voodoo dolls of saints and stuff and they're burning candles to this person and that person, the Virgin Mary, what the fuck is the Virgin Mary have to do with anything? Like she wasn't holy. She was a carpenter's wife who was like a breeding vessel to make Jesus. Why is she anything? Why would her tears cure fuck all?

That is a big point of contention between like Catholicism and say, I'm probably talking out of turn. Protestantism at least, but I was going to say like Lutheranism, which like if you know about Lutheranism, it's like Catholic light, like where there's still like much more pomp and circumstance and ceremonial and serious

than like say an Episcopalian or something. But I know a big point of contention there is that a lot of Catholics, not all of them, and a lot of Orthodox, but again, not all, think that Mary was sinless and that she was, you know, the only person not God that was without sin. And to me, like, I don't have the requisite knowledge or epistemology to speak on it in an educated way.

But it's like, well, I kind of think, you know, Christ was the only one without sin. Like, that's why his sacrifice was so important is that he was tempted as all men are, but he never sinned. And if you add another sinless person, it's like, it's like a fun part of the Bible is to me. And I think it's, it's my favorite part maybe. It's when the devil is tempting Christ. And the devil says something to Christ. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, he's showing Christ the future of man and like the wars of man in the far future. And he's saying, I think he offered Christ power to be like the ruler of the planet or something and avoid the future wars of man. And Christ denies him. And that's another one of those things where it's like three times, if I recall. Christ said, no, thank you. Not you don't have that power. To me, that's another one of those.

If you look at it objectively, it's like, so is Jesus co-signing that the devil does have the ability to make him the king of the world right now with the snap of his fingers? Because it seems that way. It's the same thing I always talk about when they'll have, like Moses had like a wizard's duel with the Pharaoh's magicians. And the Bible doesn't say, and the Pharaoh's magicians who had nothing but pomp and children's tricks hidden a sleight of hand and and like snake blood in a canister they're like and the the pharaoh's gods weren't quite as strong as ours and the pantheon of gods ours is the strongest

and it's like what just sounds like some super friends shit like you just told me Superman like beat up Captain America but you're still co-sounding the Captain America has a super serum I think and again it could be wrong but my understanding is that those Egyptian guys like the Christian view is that they were worshipping demons and demons do have power on earth like they're not make believe like they worshipped demons and Moses was worshipping God and so his magic obviously defeats the demon magic but it was a it wasn't a it wasn't a belief among Christians that like oh yeah Ra and Isis and set these are real gods it was like, no, these people have been fooled, and they are worshipping ghastly demons with, like,

animal heads and, you know, sacrificing people and whatnot. It's very interesting. Religion is so fascinating. You're clearly interested, too. Yeah, but I also like, like, the Roman pantheons of gods and stuff, too. That's fun, too. I just, I wish that the Bible didn't fall apart upon, like, deeper review. I wish that when you look, you were like, oh, my God, this is. is all adding up. This is all making sense. I can't think of a way this isn't real, but it's always like inconsistencies like that. The New Testament is great. Much more uplifting, much happier. The Old Testament is pretty hard. Like what happened where the like, it's almost like what fantasy series is it? Oh, in Lord of the Rings, the magic is leaving the world. You know,

at the time of the Battle for the Ring, the elves are leaving. Like, magic is leaving the world. It's almost like people stopped believing And so the magic is leaving I've seen that in other fantasy universes Where There's a Christmas special about that But once they all believe hard enough The slave flies

Yes and like that and 40K is like that Salient point Trying to contribute to the religious conversation When you're right You're right So like I wish that there was a bit In the Bible about that It was like and it was the age of magic's end

because the God's New Testament with man and Moses was given dominion over the earth and all that remained and magic was ended and the Nephilim were drowned and I wish they said something like that they kind of did right I don't remember the verse in section but it was like Jesus

was the wine and oh no raising Lazarus from the dead I mean obviously Jesus was doing miracles he's the son of God but I'm saying like in the New Testament I think might be wrong there's a section about like uh that was uh that was uh that was Elijah and that's the old testament um but i think there was a section saying there will there will be no more there's he children the

problem Kyle the profit time is over and that was I I thought that was a little much I think those those kids making fun of his bald they must they must have been mean they it must have been they it wasn't a one-up comment they might be victim blaming they might they must have just But my question would be this. If that is also, then presumably I could get, I could start praying to Baal, you know. No, that's a demon. Okay, I could pray to him too, though, right? Like, the Pharaoh, clearly the pharaohs had prayed to Ra, who I suppose is a demon in the scenario, and he had empowered them and given them the ability to turn staves into snakes. And, and, like, just because Moses's snake ate their snake doesn't make their magic any less powerful to me,

that dude turned a stave into a fucking cobra. Like that's some scary-ass magic. Can I pray to rock and get that? I don't think so. Only in a wizard's duel. How kind of snake can you create? I promise you, even my weak magical snake will defeat you.

I could do it. I turn it from like four inches to like seven. You're saying any magical words? You've seen it. It would be funny if you said from two to three. I felt it was. But yeah, I think, I think like when I hear the like, oh yeah, well, clearly the Egyptians were worshipping demons, like, there has never been a religion with gods that seems more like demons than have you looked at like Hindu gods? My goodness, it's like they didn't even try to make them nice.

It's like, yeah, this is, this is one of our main gods. It's a rhino-headed guy holding the hearts of foe. he's got 16 light and he's got spider legs and big teeth and it's like why would this is this is ghastly you guys need to pick a better guy I really like the Egyptian I really like the Egyptian God design I like that they're all like these crosses between animals and men it's like a dude with a crocodile head a dude with an eagle head like it's kind of that on repeat that's a good one Hanamon the monkey god on the second row for some reason we have like a 90 foot statue to Hanamon in Texas now a bunch of Indians made it I'm enough. Get rid of that. No, no statues of monkey gods in America.

I think Pravardi was the name of the Indian chick in Harry Potter. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. And Havardi is a kind of semi-soft cheese. Parvardi holds up. We need statues of her. That's a creamy cheese.

That's delicious. Rich, full-bodied. You can keep that one. Parvari. Chipotle, Gouda. Set it up. Shiva at the top I don't know

I don't know the pantheon of Indian gods but I don't like any of these so far I like I like the third row left and right I'm seeing a lot of like multi-titted women with extra arms I'm into all that but some of these critters that they've got this big pink elephant

like that can't even be real there's no way they've got a god that's an actual pink elephant I think that one might be a Pokemon yeah I think I think that's what drowsy evolves into We don't offend our large and an active Hindu audience. I am so very pissed.

They will do the necessary. I apologize. All the Hindus I know would be cool with these jokes. I don't think they take it as seriously as some of the other. Yeah, yeah. The ones in India think it very seriously. What do Sikhs believe? Is that the same?

No, Sikhs are different than Hindu. I know they've got that blade that they carry around everywhere so they can do battle with evil. That's just an excuse to carry a cool sword, which credit to them, like, good, good on that. You see the little medallions they wear instead so they can get through normal modern life? No. They wear the tiniest. It's shaped like that Arabic sword with like the Jafar sword, but it's like little and they wear it on a necklace, and it's like not even a letter opener. But so, but it's technically they're like the Amish guy with the phone at the end of his driveway.

So get out of here with that. Yeah. like either you know live it all the way or you know stop it i think the idea and i'm talking on my ass but i think the idea is that they're always armed to like fight against evil or or something like that to do good like it's something that has like a positive vibe to it if i remember correctly Sikhism an Indian religion and philosophy that originated in the Punjab region of the Indian subcontinent. Around the end of the 15th century, that's, in the world of religion, that's like new. So I guess they're, I guess they're like a splinter off. You co-stained the Mormons

a few minutes ago. No, I didn't. I said that was silly. You're a Mormon defender. I sniff it out every time. No. I bet there's not a ounce of strong drink at your house. I bet you've been converted. Taylor told me he likes the Mormons for their marksmanship. were there well that guy wasn't Mormon he clearly hated Mormonism and rebelled I'm glad I felt like my church was pretty standard

that they would speak in tongues occasionally and that was weird but it's crazy you went to a tongue's church doesn't sound standard to me yeah that was the only thing I can tell you it's not it's a niche thing it's one it's two steps above snake

handling on a minute now you went to that was the only thing that there was that that that stood out to me you know the preacher would he was never really firing brimstone he was off he was a he would write really good sermons there was always a parable that related to like our real lives maybe like relationship trouble between husbands and wives or maybe children respecting their elders and there'd be a bible tale and and he would riff on that and it was good and he get fired up and red-faced and there was a lot of singing and dancing um there was a choir um you know the organ was playing and then we did a handbell choir that I was in that my mom ran where you play the bell

I can play the bell I play you were in the hands bell choir I was in the handbell choir I was in the founding members of the handbell choir ringing ring in truth and everybody had like color coded you know I had the red one and somebody would have the yellow ones and the sheet music was written color coded you know because we don't know notes we're fucking kids so you just ring when you see red and they sort of guide you along with a with a pointer and it's and honestly sounded pretty good i don't like the singing like uh like pop songs like a guy in flannel like knocking out on a guitar that's i don't i don't like that feels like it's not even it's like it feels like it's it's be taking more seriously if you're there for it right no it was it was like choir music

when i went to super wow which is that big christian thing in um in jekyll island georgia uh they do like a mega church environment and there was a there was like a call it 25 year old guy girl christian couple who had like met at super wow and were now married and had 18 kids already and uh they were like a performance group together where they would act out these skits where one of them was being tempted by drugs or one of them's being tempted to dress slutty or like whatever and they and then they would be like you see guys i didn't wear the tube top and i didn't get raped remember that girls now Lord, I lift a name on high.

And dude, when you, I don't know if you've ever sang a song with 50,000 people singing with you, but you can really feel an energy. Nothing necessarily religious, although the religious nature of the songs definitely builds to it. But when there's 50,000 of you singing, Lord, I love to sing your praises. I'm so glad you in my life. And it's just the whole place is booming and they're up there playing. And it was fun. It was the worst vacation of my life.

I don't know how I got wrote. It's one of those things where, like, I didn't have enough agency as a kid to ever be like, absolutely not. That's not for me. That's not my thing. I don't want any part of it. I was always open. So whenever there was an option to do a thing, I was a, I was, yes, yes, absolutely.

Horse camp, why not? I'll be the only boy. Super wow. Haven't been to church in years. Let's go. ride home with the gym teacher He's not too sketchy I just remember being stuck in

Gentle Island for an entire week I got roped into it because they told me about water gun fights and a water park visit and to me that sounded great then nobody mentioned that every day was four hours of church and singing and skits and praise

I got tricked into a camp like that too it's huge the amount of time you had to like sit there and listen to it was like the morning time you'd get like an amount of time that wasn't even enough to set up a proper game with other kids in like the big free area or go to the rec center and then you'd have like two hours of church and then you'd have lunch and then you'd get like another two hours of like kind of fun with your friends like playing like flag football or frisbee or like throwing water balloon whatever you wanted to do and then it was church again every day it was church twice. I was I was livid. Mine was so much better than your experience. I did this thing, St. Peter's Youth, a spy, we called it. And the sort of away camp we went to, you guys are like saying you went to church, ours was more like a morality-based motivational speech geared towards people in my age group. And the stories had an entertainment value. You're talking about the

song our dude saying like pop that song lean on me was popular at the time and uh he liked the message of it and he sang it on his guitar and i remember him being good enough that we were all like you know this close enough to the song that we all dig that we like this and it endeared him to us and um like i said the morality based motivational speeches would be followed with some sort of like contemplation time and uh i thought they did a pretty good job i was hoping to hook up with some girls while I was there but I didn't I didn't have enough game

but I think other people got kissed it was my group our the guy that led it like week to week he was kind of cool he was like an ex army guy and you know it mixed in with his like

you know sort of life guidance type stuff would be like how to jump off a 12 foot wall you know like a parkour role and it was pretty dope. I don't know. I liked it. That does sound cool. I'm surprised a place called St. Peter's didn't lean on the religion aspect. Oh, it was in there. Like, I say morality-based stuff, but I remember one time one of his stories, he was telling us why we needed to accept God.

And he's like, imagine you're golfing. And you only get into heaven if you hit an 18. Well, you're already up to 74. And you've got two wereholes to go. Is it about time to accept God? is it about time to like atone for your sins or whatever it is he was saying and it's like i don't know somehow the metaphor worked with me i get what he was saying yeah so uh you know it is a church thing there but it wasn't all like i don't know hymns and like it didn't beat you over the head with like bible stories and teaching it was more stuff that i related to a little better at 14 yeah our pastor was just like so well true some bible stories are really really The war stuff is always very entertaining

to me. Anything with the battles and the wars and Samson was solid. Yes. David and Goliath is really good. You know, all that stuff. A part of me always was like, Goliath Goliath would have fucking trounced him. I was like, he's supposed to be like nine feet tall in the bronze age.

That's like 14 feet tall today. Like that's, that's annoying. Five smooth stones. Yeah. Yeah. And he whipped it. And I guess, like, you could, you could knock Brock Lesnar something nasty if you knew what you were doing with a sling and you had a rock. Oh, for sure. I guess so. Yeah, there's one of human on earth.

I don't know what I'm doing, but yeah, yeah. There's no one you can't hit with a rock right here that doesn't get fucked up. Maybe me. Okay. It's about it. Only you. I saw Amazon made a David and Goliath movie here. Here's a clip from it.

I saw it on my YouTube shorts the other day, and it was actually entertaining. Now, that's a cool story. Some of the wackier stories in the Bible would almost make a fun anthology series. Like, if they took the three wackiest stories from the Bible and did the same way they do anthology horror series where you have like a wrap-around guy at the beginning, he's like, have you heard some of the creepiest stories of the Old Testament? bitch, where tonight will hear the tale of Elijah and the bear? Like, I would like to see, like, an actual telling. Let's just play it straight of the children mocking Elijah's bald head

and then him calling down the magical bear to eat the children. Like, I don't know how that makes the final cut when we're editing the Bible. Yeah, I mean, like, if that weren't editing, people would be like, yeah, This is making Elijah look like the bad guy. Actually, I don't think that was Elisha, not Elijah, I think. Well, didn't he become one from the other when he was saved? No, Elisha was Elijah's student, I believe. Who's the guy beaten on the road to Damascus and then the Good Samaritan hooked him up?

I don't remember. The guy, beaten on the road to Damascus. You know, the guy was, he's on the road to Damascus. I know the story, I just, I don't recall the name. I think it's all roughed up and probably diddled a little because that was the thing back in the day and then the Good Samaritan comes along and despite having some sort of international beef between the Samaritans and wherever that fellow was from. I thought that was Elijah. That was excellent PR for the Samaritans for probably hundreds of years having a story

about the Good Samaritan. Yeah, like when the Federation interfered in the Battle of Kittimer. Took the words out of my mouth. Yeah, really won the Klingons over to their side, ended the war and was the founding of a friendship, or at least that. that would go on for generations. Some would say the next generation. Some would. Is the new Star Trek over with Captain Pike? Is it coming back?

Yeah, it's coming back. Okay, you're sure? I mean, all the episodes are out, I believe, for this season, but there will be more seasons. Okay. The thing I read, acted like it was over. Oh, that would surprise me. I haven't read anything like that.

Maybe I misinterpreted, and they were saying the year was over. Yeah, I know Lord. Decks got canceled. I think people have been hoping that a Netflix or someone like that would pick it up and produce it. I really, really like that animated Star Trek shit. That was so fun for me that it's just so many callbacks and so many deep cuts. And like, I don't know, I like those quirky characters. The guy that voices Boimler or whatever is, um, Huey from the boys. The boys, which is coming soon. We'll get the final season of the boys soon. I bet there's going to be so many Trump references. I there's going to be so many jabby. There's going to be so

many jabs taken at the administration. I'm here for it. I don't care. It's not safe anymore. Yeah, Gen V has already started coming out. One of the main characters in that... Episodes out? Yeah, I think there's an episode or two at least. One of the main characters died. He was like, I think he was like the multiracial

young... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And I think that they're not replacing him. I think they're just going to like... I don't know what they're doing. They may just say, fucking Fantasmo exploded last night and nobody saw it but me but he's gone now

like they're doing something they're just writing him out of the show oh the actor died the actor died yeah oh yeah um and then I can't wait to see GenV I think Jackie doesn't like it as much as me

but she'll tough it out it's the wokenest show that I like it is it is so wildly like feminist and like black power and uh you know everything else but but I I like superhero shit enough

and I like dark superhero shit enough that I dig it and it's pretty sexy at times there's like there's a lot of hot girls in there I just wish that her power wasn't controlling her own blood it's so gross it is yucky it's yucky this sounds totally unwatchable

to me her first period killed her parents I remember you guys telling me about this her period turned into like a blood cobra and like murdered her parents I remember thinking like I think they're doing to me what Woody thinks Kyle and I did to him with Mandy. Yeah.

But I guess these guys genuinely like this period blood drama. I do because the stuff around the period blood is all good. You know, you got to put up with that to deal with all the good stuff. I wish I liked superhero stuff because that would open up a whole world of content. I just, I can't get into it. I can't, I just, I can't get that urge. Have you watched a single episode of Peacemaker with John Sina? No.

watch the first episode of that show and I think you'll be it's kind of be like some like over the top gory edgy superhero shit right there's a lot of that but it also has a genuine heartfelt thing underneath it like when John Cena's alone he's like sobbing in his bed like what a loser he is and his friend is like this comedic relief

basically Jeffrey Dahmer if he were a superhero I really enjoy start with season one and see if it hooks you because John Sina is very charismatic and I think he knocks out of the part. What is it on again? Amazon? HBO. HBO.

HBO. I think I have that through something. I think the first episode is the one that ends with him hooking up with that chick. And then like he's singing the song into the Hitachi Magic Wand and then they have the big fight scene at the end. And that's a great.

If you don't like the first episode, then you don't like the show. But season two is coming out right now. He's dancing around. singing into a Hitachi magic wand. Yeah, he's playing a record. I can hear how it turns you off, but I was expecting it to be more

G-rated just because it was a superhero thing, right? You know? And they teach you that it's not in season one. Oh yeah, he's fucking her doggy style and they are both clearly completely naked and her tits are just every fucking wear.

It's a fun show. I dig it a lot. And John Cena carries the shit out of it. In the news season there's a character John Cena his sidekick is called eagely it's an American bald eagle his thing is very American forward and so he's got a he's got a bald eagle as his like sidekick pet attachment in the new season there's a character with bird blindness and so they're fighting the eagle and the eagle's beating the shit out of five grown men it's it's blinded one chick pecked her eyes out and it's uh it's knocked this guy down and someone

goes duck and because they want him to get down and not see the, so that the bird doesn't hit him. But he thinks it is a duck. And because he has bird blindness, he's reporting back that it's a duck. And I know that sounds stupid, but like the third time they tell that joke, it's fucking hilarious. Because he is, he's like, I surf for bird blindness. It's a serious medical condition.

I can't tell what kind of bird that is. What would be a spooky thing to have? Purd blindness? That's funny. His best friend, it's a friend. it's hilarious because his best friend thinks the world of John Sina and John Sina's not even sure he could

give or take his best friend what's his name? It starts with a V Vendetta Vigilante. Vigilante, yeah. Yeah. And to watch them go back and forth, Vigilani is always like, oh, there's a problem, we should probably kill him. He's like, slow your roll.

We don't kill everyone. What? Let's torture him first though. Yeah, Vigilani's like literally he looks like Jeffrey Dahmer. He's a tall, skinny, fit, blonde guy with big glasses like yours. Normal glasses.

Big oversized Jeffrey Dahmer frames. Normal glasses that aren't that are a normal level of thick, by the way. I hope you like it. Okay, Archimedes. No, I think that's a compliment. I would also. I bet that's funny at you at the right angle.

You kill a kid. I look at birds and they're just to thunder. I can leave those things sitting on the nightstand They'll start a fire From this lamp All right I want to go eat dinner Call her wrap

Josh Wolf Maybe next week I don't know I'm sure we have someone Bookers will figure it out He might be Saudi Arabia 771