Painkiller Already - PKA 774 W/ Oompaville: Hasan Coming For Woody's Dogs Next

Episode Date: October 18, 2025

PKK 774. Glad to have Caleb back. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Better Help. It's also brought to you by lock and load in our wonderful merchandise. Caleb, great to see you. Hair's looking wonderful. Congratulations. Well, on the hair and the wedding. I think he was talking about the marriage.

What do you say? The marriage. The marriage. I did get married. Yeah, I got married. That's awesome, man. When? Yeah. April.

April 20th. Just kidding. that was hitler because hitler's 22nd oh i took it as a 420 joke no yeah no i got married uh yeah i've been busy i haven't been on for a long time i haven't what have y'all what have y'all been up to i mean a bunch of home renovation shit and plan i just join ice they rejected me you try to join ice yeah they won't take me i'm a felon but i'm i'm hoping it's going to be like the later years of world war two and in the sogut union they just start taking everybody and anybody you know a lot of women were in the soviet military people

know that you should join the latin kings oh that's the other side of yeah yeah that's the other side of the conflict i think the lesson getting trend day ragua whatever yeah you definitely don't want to do that i'd rather join alkaida they got better street cred these days you during you join trindy aragua they disappear you to uganda like they don't even they don't even hold you with getmo they send you to some weird unto unto country and they got a lot of money from the drugs. How much money does Al Qaeda have? I don't know anymore, you know. It feels like there are like seven revisions back on the terrorist groups to where like sometimes you'll see like spokesmen for the Taliban insults ISIS and calls them savages. And it's just like,

I don't know what the fuck's going on over there. Really? Like I, I just thought both those guys are kind of bad. I'm sure they're number three is being targeted right now. It's always the number three. That guy you never heard of. I used to always tell young guys. like if you're if you're getting into the career world and you don't want to do four eight 20 years of college and rack up a million dollars worth of debt that that heating and air was the way to go and like working your way up starting your own business multiple trucks you know making friendships at the tech school etc now it's ice it's ice baby like like they with that that bonus and with that salary and it's going to

be at least another three years of another good gig yeah yeah yeah yeah the democrat shut it all down it won't go down instantly so you'll get like to parlay that that that experience into some other form of federal work or other law enforcement or private security it's going to be great those government jobs are incestuous once you once you get in on some level they just keep they just spiral you up yeah and much more important news Caleb what kind of food did you have at the wedding uh we had this stuff uh hold on we had Argentinian food um It was amazing, and we had, like, goats. There was goats being roasted and pigs and a bunch of crazy high-tech meat and stuff and fires.

Everything was cooked into open fire. That's awesome. It was cool. I'm really lost on how a meat on an open fire is high-tech. It sounds primitive. Well, yeah, I think the sheer fact that it was so primitive made it more. high tech, because it's very rare to see nowadays. It's harder to, yeah. It's a little, it's like steam punky. It's like a guy in a, dressed like a butler with a bow tie on is carving

it. You pay more for way less. That's cool. It was awesome. Yeah. It was very, very, very, it was delicious. I wasted a, like a $120 bottle of liquor, apparently. Someone got really mad at me because I wasted a lot of really expensive liquor. I don't drink, so I didn't I didn't know what I was holding in my hand when I was burning it. Oh, you were lighting it on fire? I was lighting that shit on fire, yeah. We also got barbecue

because that's what white people do in Texas. And, yeah, I mean, what else do we get? What was the highlight of the reception? What was your favorite part? Honestly, I got a bomb. Someone gave me a bomb. They gifted me a bomb. My friends at AP gave me a practice bomb from World War II.

And carrying that around and asking people that wanted to hold it was my favorite. My top 10 favorite moments, none involve my wife. You got the rest of your life to fill in. We don't have bombs every day. You tell me more about this bomb? I want to, I can't imagine what it looked like a big torpedo. It's like a little, it's like a little blue bomb like this.

And it's hollowed out in the middle. And I guess they used to drop them for training in the Great War or the War after the Great War, World War II, the Second Great War. And... What a weird way to get to that. Like, it's 1919. A great war! Yeah, it was very fun and it was all a blur, unfortunately.

Everybody always says stuff like that. I didn't take any pictures, and we were just really busy all day. It was just a lot of fun. I mean... You shouldn't be having to take any pictures. Well, we were. Yeah, similar to that. It's an RPG.

Did you do the thing where you put a camera on every table and let them take pictures? Yes. The little disposable camera. cameras, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we did that too. We got something that we value. Oh, I'm such an idiot. When you said take pictures, I'm like, wow, so we bought like a dozen goats and had men, slicemen cutting it up and then he was going running around with the camera. And I was like, oh, no, he meant like stand there and have his picture taken. I took some pictures too. I, I, uh, we actually did this thing where my cousin and I, um, uh, we, he got a, we got this really expensive bottle of tequila and we would walk around and we would make people drink it. And then we would take pictures of them, uh, while they were drinking it. It was just like, like, I don't know, putting people on the spot and making them uncomfortable. Also, my uncle Craig, you guys should have been there to see him. He was, he did the, he did his, the world's smallest man bit and had a whole crowd around him. And also, shit, I forget the other bit, but he basically shows you his penis, but it's actually his fingers.

And he's like a 75 year old man and it was, it was a, yeah. Classic. Was he about to bust out like a behind the couch escalator? Yeah. Really, yeah. Really bring down the house. 10 minutes from stealing your nose. What's crazy, though, is that these things were, like, legitimately off the wall funny.

And the way that he did them, like, I've tried to do it again, and you can't do it like he can. You just can't. He's so... Yeah, he's 75. He's got that charm of old age. You can get away with him more. People are like, Uncle Craig. Yeah.

That's old. That's old for an uncle for your age. A 75-year-old. My mom's Catholic, and she's the youngest of eight, though. there you go that's a huge family how big was the wedding there was like

180 people there 200 people something like that that's big to me yeah it was it was I had no I had no idea my family

was so large and same with my wife's family was pretty crazy there was a lot of people there how many brothers and sisters is your wife have she's got a couple half siblings

I think six total she's one of six but they're like three of them are half do you what number she is uh she's the second oldest okay cool cool nice well i wish you guys the best i'm excited appreciate it yeah it's congratulations it's really cool mostly for tax reasons but really cool i'm just kidding that's not even a thing anymore yeah it's no it's not

no that was what i expected when i got married and it was like oh this is this is this is the same like this is really not different at all it's it's oh it's different well you in the end it can go different when you part ways it's different it always does go different yeah yes yeah my uh my uh pre-nup lawyer was the lawyer who oversaw

um I don't know if I can say this but I'm gonna say it anyways it was the lawyer who uh who handled the case between XQC and his bitch wife what's the story that I know XQC is a huge streamer but I didn't know yet um I don't know it I don't know it like fully off the top of my head but I know it's been going on for years and she's been trying to take

a lot of his stuff for a very long time and claiming she like wants his McLaren there was a whole McLaren thing. I've completely wiped my brain of all this stuff. I don't know. Do you know any more about it, Kyle? No, I'm just hoping that your McLaren is protected. I don't have a McLaren.

I'm not bad, dude. I did what's called marrying up is what I did. Oh, yeah? Are we protecting her money from you? Is that what we were doing? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, no.

I'm the hot bitch. I'm the hot, the hot, the old, big, this relationship. You're the trophy husband? I'm the trophy husband. He's cute. That's what Chis texted me. He's like, just a couple of new things on Caleb.

He got married. He had a big road trip. And you've probably never heard of his wife because you're not in that side of the internet at all. But like, she's the way bigger person online than Caleb. And I was like, oh, that's funny. Like, I bet he's kind of being tongue and cheek. But no, I looked her up.

Wow. No. You get. away with it. No, yeah, no, by a margin of almost 10. No, actually, literally by a margin of 10, she is more, more influence and followers than I do. And there's like probably no overlap between your audiences. There's very little, which is very, is so cool, because I'll go on her channel and I'll just say a bunch of heinous shit. And she cuts out 90% of it. And then they're just like, this guy's evil. We hate this guy. He's ruined her entire life, for sure. But,

But it's all in good fun now. Yeah, we definitely don't have much of an overlap in terms of, in terms of the audience. They're not big, they're not, their core audience is not a big fan of me, I wouldn't say. What does she do online? Like, what did she does? She does, like, these really deep, she does a lot of true crime stuff. And she goes really, really deep into it and does like two hour, these like super well done videos. Well, I mean, YouTube videos are not like movies or whatever.

but you know twice a week she does a pretty big her and her editor jay they do a great job they make much better content than i do true crime stuff documentary type stuff it's very interesting girls love that mm-hmm like that oh my reason this true crime gets all of them yeah it comes up every now and then that my wife has learned all the mistakes that murderous make these fools they keep doing this oh you wouldn't believe every time they stumble into this I think she could kill me and get away with it. No, Woody, we would stand for that. Me and Taylor would be on the case, right?

We'd be over there. We'd be over there making things uncomfortable for her. The implication is there. The implication is new guys suddenly around. Yoga instructor, huh? You weren't ever into you. Untreated diabetes? Interesting.

Yeah, damn. What are her suggestions of how to get away with killing someone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How would your wife kill you, Woody? Oh, I... She tamper with your flying gear. I'll have to ask her. That'd be an easier one.

That's almost cheating. Tell her she can't have anything to do with the fan you strapped your back because that's not like a universally applicable style of murder. I was thinking like ground up glass and food a little bit at a time. That's crazy. They're going to catch... Insulin of the tongue. They're going to catch ground up glass in food.

A little bit at a time. We can make ricin or we can use kidney. being toxin? Like, why are you ground up glass? What is his loony tunes? His first meal, he's going to be like, ah, well, he's done to me.

There's glass in this. It's just shattered. It's not ground. He needs to be mortar and pestle glass up. I don't think it's going to kill him, and they're going to figure out. I mean, my mind goes to poison because that's how women tend to kill. Yeah, they poison your ass. Because they're evil.

Which is cowardly, which is a cowardly way to do it. should stand there and murder them like an adult, like a man. I think tampering with the flight gear, I think if I found out what he was going to do another one of those, like test your parachute, like pretend to fail and then like, like test your safety gear. Just repack it for me in like,

I don't know, an unfolded bed sheet style or something. Yeah, it will not come out. Maybe if I damage a bunch of your like lines, you know, you pull the shoot and it holds you for a split second and then rips away and you just free fall down to the earth,

you know? Then that yoga structure is on the scene. I feel like Woody would be the easiest to kill out of all of us without any consequences. I could kill me. Like I'm thinking about Kyle's thing. Dude, easy shit. Like there are special rubber bands that go around reserve shoots.

And they're like, if you ever touched a rubber band that's like been in the weather for a year or two, it's almost not stretchy anymore. And instead of when you pull it, it breaks into, there are special parachute rubber bands that I use that aren't prone to that. they're expensive just put regular water but yeah go to office depot swap out the rubber bands next time i test my parachute that shoot will be two years old jokes aside like you how often do

you test your you're all right so like right now i'm sure your gear is packed away somewhere and i suppose your reserve shoot is packed in its like thing whatever that looks like if you were going to go fly tomorrow would you check that reserve shoot at all or would you just go with it like I wouldn't like take it out and inspect it. I would just make sure that it's properly bundled. There are windows into like the things that you need to look at little like clear plastic. Yeah. And you can just make sure that it's still properly in there.

And it's really to make sure it doesn't deploy when it's not supposed to. Not that it deploys when it is supposed to. She's writing back. I was like, if you wanted to kill me and get away with it, how would you do it? She's like, I'm thinking. Now the three bubbles are going. She's writing her murder plan.

We'll see what she says. Yeah. So she isn't like copy pasting something from the notes app. I can just feel like she's been thinking. Well, she's got a flow chart. Yeah. You can you make a,

you can order castor beans, I think off Amazon to make ricin yourself at home. There was, there was some like cell they called it of guys making ricin like near my hometown back during 9-11. Like post-9-11, there was that rash of, first someone was mailing anthrax.

Yeah. There was that whole thing, and then that Elvis impersonator got tied up in. There was that whole nonsense. It was a wacky story. But I remember there was also some guys in my area that got caught mate with weapons and ricin that they had created. I don't know what they were going to do with it. What is the ricin?

You sound so familiar with this. What do you do to get the ricin? You just grind the beans up. But now you have cast your beans in your Amazon history and someone who dies mysteriously of poisoning in your close vicinity. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, they would need to get a warrant to check your Amazon. Amazon purchasing, but I see your point.

But I don't know how you make rice, and I don't want that in my search history. I know you use casting. You know what might be good is take you to like, if I'm trying to kill you, I take you to like a St. Louis Blues game, and I park far away. And then as we're walking back from the game, I take us under a bridge and I just, I just stab you in the throat unexpectedly. And then I leave you to die there. And I'm like, fine.

Scott Free. I approached the nearest police officer and tell him that a crazed homeless guy in that box just stabbed my friend. And then what about fingerprints on the murder weapon and things like that? I don't know. I don't know. Wipe it off. Wipe off the. Are you not going to get any blood on you and I'm not going to be able to injure you at all? I'm going to be over you, pretending like I'm trying to help. I will have just stabbed you in the throat and I'll be over you and shh, shh, shh. you die under an overpass and I'll get blood on me from trying to help and then the cop will be like why are you covering blood it's because I was trying to help my friend you just got stabbed

by this homeless guy I'm gonna scratch you all up you're gonna love I'm gonna say he said he was so scared as he approached the light that's pretty good I just said you do what you need to

what about the Shenzhou Abe type asses I wonder if that would work if you shot somebody with a gun that you could just like disassemble or you just like built a guy who like built to phaser and it was like oh

ran up that guy really did make a cool ass gun she would take Colin to parkour and leave the gas stove on until it exploded that's not bad really you'd like you'd want the house out

like you'd smell the gas you'd smell the gas long before a concentration that could destroy the home is right underneath me I'm I think it might blow before I smell the gas down in the kitchen I don't know I don't think so I think that you would smell it.

It stinks so bad. I had the most minor of gas leaks and we sniffed it out. Like it was just so little. It smelled, the smell of natural gas is added to it to make it smell that way so that you do detect it before a house blows up. I think you need a ton of it to blow your house up to. You got a big house.

A ton. It just needs to blow up this part of it, right? So the kitchen's right below me. But I mean, what's going to happen is you're going to be like, oh, 315. Time to test all the lighters in the house. I was thinking about that too. It's sparkler hour.

What would set it off, right? Does she put a match in the far side of the kitchen, perhaps, or like on the steps? It'd have to be like a candle. Well, see, she's not going to get away with it, man. Like, she would need to create the gas. You couldn't just, like, turn the eye of the oven on and walk away. You'd need to, like, drag the oven out and get that main gas line and, like, be pumping whatever it is two inches of gas at 15 PSI continuously into the house like flooding it with gas to

make it happen I think I wonder if you if you had like the four burners in the grill pumping gas but not lit might might put a good amount of gas in the kitchen it might I don't know I've never messed with gas explosions per se but I've seen some cool ones on the internet and usually they just to, like, ignite and burn off instead of just... Well, it's her first murder. I thought it was a good effort. That's fair. It's fair.

It's good effort. How would you commit your inaugural murder, Caleb? Oh, I would make friends with... At first, I would get really jacked. Sick. And I would make friends with those at gyms who sell illicit substances, but not so illicit. You know, just like get a little extra insulin, ipomoril and tessimorland, growth factors, There's things like that, and I would make it known that I'm using these things,

and I would make it part of my life, and it would be very normal. And then I feel like it's bad judy to say that I'm going to kill my wife, but let's say I have a husband, and I'm gay, and it's an alternate reality. There's a divergence at some point. I would take my insulin that I get to make my stomach really big and hard, like a rock, like a mili muscular rock. Like a white antit turtle. Exactly. And I would find a way to put it inside of my husband. I don't know what the best way to do that would be. Somewhere, somewhere, I don't know, under the tongue, but how do you get like, hey, check this out. This little thing that I'm going to do it. And then I do like a joke because like maybe I would make it normal for me to inject things into my husband, something like that. And then I inject my husband with insulin. And then he just dies from untreated diabetes.

diabetes. He goes into an insulin coma and never wakes up. Yeah, you can buy you can get insulin given to you straight over the counter at Walmart. Really? Yeah. I don't know if he'd want to be well known as the the insulin man with an insulin plan before this type of murder. They'd be like, really? This guy had like untreated diabetes, this jacked lean gay guy. That was clearly the top. Well, no, my husband would be fat. Oh, he would die from my street. realities you're a trophy husband exactly exactly yeah that would work I've thought of that before as well because I experimented with insulin one time and it almost just killed me it just eats up all your your sugar in your blood system and you immediately feel so weak and like you're dying I was

chugging orange juice I afraid I was going to go into a diabetic coma so I could see that working for sure but I think you do need to inject it I think we looked it up one time so because like I was like could you just squirt in somebody's drink because this shit is fucking poison yeah but no you got to you got to inject them I think and the tough part would be like where do you like maybe on the head or something because it'd be hard to find a hole the whole insulin pins you're like little neither that nobody ever see that yeah yeah it's it's so little it doesn't even hurt like you could you could if you were like steady enough you could do it to your hypothetical fat husband in his sleep mm-hmm interesting what about if you did it

right below the penis hole. I think that's fine. Nobody's looking there. Yeah. In the penis hole. Go in there. You've got a real dealer's choice situation because he's already your gay husband. So he's going to be in a lot of compromising positions in front of you.

You tag him right next to the butthole. No one's looking. The morticians like, I think we know what's up here. Tagging with the insulin syringe. Yeah. I don't know. I wouldn't.

I feel like the way you get caught is you kill somebody you know. Like all the famous serial killers, it's like who were they killing? like prostitutes homeless people they were running up the score they were like like playing for points and that's why they survived so long if like a serial killer started offing people like their brothers and sisters and moms and dads like it's but immediately be like uh i think we we're on to something here like under serial killers could rack up numbers like mass murderers do right like that Vegas guy didn't he kills is it 77 people did he got oh surely he didn't

kills that many. No, I think it was because a lot of people got trampled to death is what people forget, because it was a giant like stamp music concert. There were just so many... 60 dead. So I think, yeah. 413. I was going to say, I thought there was like 400 people

who were wounded. It'd be hard to get 60 kills as a serial murderer. I mean, even one a week. There's that... I think it's hard to get 60 as a mass shooter because it's been rarely done. You know what I mean?

There's that Serbian bitch who killed like a couple hundred people but they're all sick hold on what is her name here's the most prolific serial killer in American history Samuel Little okay and at least 60 murders he has the largest

number of confirmed victims for any serial killer in America a black guy holy shit oh god damn it when we allow black people to come into our things and dominate this is the Tiger Wood situation all over again Jackie Robinson

Serial killing is a white people only thing, okay? Apparently not. Hey, the tale of the tape is right here. God damn it. It's a black guy. This guy's number one, number one in the league. And he's still alive. How many did he kill?

At least, he says, he said 93 claimed and suspected only 60 confirmed. Man, that's stuff, that's, gets stopped before 100, though. That's got to hurt, you know. What about Baba Anukia? The Serbo-Romanian convicted serial killer, amateur chemist who killed almost 150. people. Let me look at Baba Anuka. Oh, this is a lady. Yeah, I've seen stories of like

women serial killers where it was a woman who was just like poisoning babies for like a 40 year nursing career. Yeah. It was like, oh, well, they estimate like hundreds of babies because of just the amount of time it was that no one caught on because it all looked natural. And I guess kids were dying all the time back then. But that almost, that's like a cheating kind of serial killing. It's like, it's a baby. It can't tell on you. It can't. I'm more interested in the guy who's got

like a like a like a like a like a semi truck and he's traveling the entire country and just picking him off at every rest stop that's a serial killer that's a classic serial killer and those are the kind that I think if I had to begin a life in that way I'd want to be a vagabond style serial killer like someone who's all you know you know maybe buys my own semi and you know does roots or something and back the part of the semi you own it and part of the truck is your kill you're like killing lab, your Dexter style kill floor. And there's like a wall that doesn't seem like

it's a wall, but it comes away and you've got like your kill floor in there. I'm exposed it immediately when I go to the first place for them to fill up my truck. They're like, hey man, there's a, there's like a lot of beakers in here. Oh, there's a fucking false

wall. They don't see it. It's not just open. It's not just in the goods. You drive through Texas and you get pulled over by the Department of transportation and we'd see you on the side of the road and they'd be looking in your fucking truck. I see that all the time. People get in their truck stopped and then they expose them for their dexter moving laboratory. Yeah and it wouldn't work. It would be like you'd have to bank on every single person who ever loaded or unloaded your truck being

the type of person who's never seen a semi, like an empty semi bed before because they're going to look at it and they're going to see that it's seven feet shallower than every other one. How would they see that? They're inside of it. They can't tell. No, no, not the people you're killed. The people that are going to be loading your truck.

You don't load the truck. The guy working the dolly is going to play Sherlock Holmes for the weekend instead of just getting another creative boxes and going about his way. All it takes is one way station. And that's where you did your work. Yeah, it just takes one way station. Yeah, those are rolling way stations I saw. Those are neat.

Like, they don't even slow down. They just go over the thing and they just wave them through. The other than I'm thinking about it with all the way stations and like the way trucks are tracked now that might not be the right move it might be better just to be a general vagabond in a car who had a home base but you didn't bring any killing finally taylor comes around to van life i've been working on him for a decade now that's the only time i could see getting into van life is if i had an insatiable drive to kill and i just had to pursue it and nothing else i think a motor home is better because i i would imagine that when you get pulled over in a motorhome

they don't go in there and look around i've never seen that like outside of that from Dust Till Dawn movie. They don't go in there and go through your fucking motorhome. They just give you a ticket and go about your day. I don't know.

If you're like the guy they've been looking into for being sketchy, they're gonna need into you. Why would they look into you for being sketchy? That's the whole point of being the vagabond serial killer

is you don't stay in one place being the creepy guy around town who's always hanging out by the nursing school. Aren't those nurses always dissoning? disappearing, you don't do that, you know, you're just, this is your first time ever in Albuquerque. A couple hookers go missing. Next weekend, you're in Phoenix, you know,

you're in Phoenix, you just move around. A couple more hookers go missing. Eventually, you really start to lose it. You start to think, I'm cleaning the streets. Then you are cleaning the streets of disease and filth and sin. God would probably not like, not like what you're doing, but, but he'd let it slide. It'd be like, like, one of those, he'd be like, why I ought to us? You know? I don't know. I think Jesus would frown at that.

I think that would upset him. He did have a lot of prostitutes. Yeah. He was like, hey, you guys, you're doing gambling and stuff in the temple. And then you're coming out here and being mean to the prostitutes. No, stay there's both dirty. The thing that impresses me about a serial killer, like, I'm sure there's tons of serial killers that we've never heard of and we never will hear of.

They just did their thing and then died of old age and retired. You know what I mean? but then like that's almost not as cool like someone like the zodiac who rubs it in the faces of law enforcement and sims those cryptographs or whatever and in the puzzles and they're taunting law enforcement for decades that's pretty cool that's zodiac stuck to do zodiac was putting up like babe ruth style numbers try that today try that when like we have real tracking and technology and DNA and this and that that guy would have got found so all right all right counterpoint the dciper back in like 2002 Leeboid Edward Leboid Malvo and I can't remember the other guy's name Those two Gibronies That was hardcore They were just in your face

All weekend long just shooting white guys At Outback Steakhouses and rolling away Like I don't remember how many they killed Maybe 15 maybe 20 They wounded a bunch too But that whole gig they had where they were shooting out They had tore out the seat so they were in their car And they would crawl into the boot of the car

Into the trunk of the car And then they would remove the tail light and shoot out through that hole with a scoped rifle and then just drive away and the news reports were always a white van we saw a white van and so they're stopping they're stopping every one of those

and just waving through the sedans like not even bothering those guys went on a roll they killed a lot of it for a couple weeks it was weeks that they were like terrorizing DC yeah I remember we were talking about it at school like you know but it was how were you then 10th grade

it was wild in that like when things were getting hot when the police when this is a national news story it's running 24 by 7 they were still doing it like another one landed and that would be my sign to cool off come back next year but not them they were in it for the love of the game

they wanted to get caught and I think I read their Wikipedia page once and it was one of those instances where it's like the perpetrators Alex Samuelson new chosen name at Time of Killings Mahmood Bahamu or like whatever

They went down that like black Islam Muhammad Atta and Leboid Malvo I think that was 9-11 Leboid Malvo is an incredible name Leboid Malvo is definitely one of them So it was if I remember correctly It was like an older guy

Who was more of like a stepfather Or like an uncle figure And then a younger guy who was like late teens early 20s John Allen Muhammad and Leboid Melvo Yeah Wow There's too many names.

Willing accomplished Lee Malvo. Yeah. Yeah, I remember this. I was too young, but I remember it. I was six years old. The gas stations had like fencing put up around them to hide people pumping gas because that was one of the targets they were going after. They shoot people pumping the gas.

People were afraid to pump gas. Co-workers were so amazed by that. They're like, what a country. Only in America. Would they think to like, put up tarps to get a competitive advantage against the other gas stations to make you more attractive for avoiding the D.C. sniper free here at Stittgo. We cost a penny more per gallon, but a fewer lines of sites from potential sleepers. You will get chapped in the throat here.

What are you, were the oldest and like the most adult following it? What did they just like really dislike white people or dislike America? Like what was their big to do? I don't remember. I can look it up a religious thing In my head I thought it was some sort of religious thing That they were taking out

So the key motive was Muhammad's desire to kill his second ex-wife Mildred Who he felt had estranged him from his children The other shootings were believed to be a way to cover up This specific motive Holy shit This was all about killing his ex-wife This is what this feeds right into what we're talking about before

This is how you You kill your wife You shoot her, and then you shoot 14 unrelated people at Outback Steakhouses and gas stations in the... I mean, this guy was the saying, like, thou doth protest too much? Like, I put a wife somewhere in the middle. Not first, not last. Oh, that's good. Wow.

Yeah, oh, for sure. Yeah, definitely. We're coming up to solutions here. Ways to that we'd optimize. Yeah, that's pretty fucked up. That's just, that's... who would go for 17 additional people the younger guy had to at some point be like boss

they're off the trail we've got to cut and run because this isn't going to pan out and he's like no I bet that's what it was that was his eventual you know explanation or maybe it started out that way but you don't just shoot 17 people because you're not loving it like that guy did it and he was like oh this is for me taking turns I think I think they were I think maybe they were taking turns

firing the shots it's been a long time ago that one was crazy to me obviously it's evil but it's got to be a rush right murdering people yeah probably yeah I'm sure I mean that's what all the killers say

but how can you kill a random person that I don't understand I can understand being mad at somebody or protecting yourself or any number of reasons but random murder and explain so awful yeah no I'm kidding judging them immediately.

They're not random anymore. It is slob. Yeah, right. Fucking. This guy's talking backwards, cat. What year is it? It's after Labor Day, you scum. He's got too much white on.

Fucking Giants fan. All right. Yeah, yeah. Now you're talking. Cowboys. Yeah, that's awful. But that was a real. serial serial killer to me because it was so brazen and they it seemed like they were getting off

on the media attention because that's the kind of serial killer you see in movies is the one who like feeds off that media attention and like plays into it that's fascinating to me rather than someone who's just kind of like Dexter trying to stay in the shadows and just get their rocks off killing people you never hear about any vigilantes like any real ones and my theory behind that is that it happens occasionally and the news media hustles. it up to prevent any sort of copycat type thing. You guys are too young from Bernie Gets, Bernard Gets. Do you remember that name?

I see the subway shooter guy? I, did he shoot people or did he use a screwdriver? I'm not sure anymore. Somehow I have in my head he had a Phillips head. Yeah, I can confuse his story with the fictional story of Paul Creasy from the fucking movie.

He got mugged. And the dude, I don't know if he got beat up in the mugging or if he just got robbed, but it didn't sit well with him. He needed to, like, in some karate kid kind of way, get centered again and, you know, how he wasn't a victim. So he would just troll, making himself look like the best possible victim, wishing a motherfucker would fafo, right? And he did. And then, like, the community was kind of split, like it was in Philadelphia.

Some people were like, this guy's great. Now, every mugger should worry that there's another pronounce. Gets out there. And other people were like, this isn't how we do justice. Yeah, I was thinking of Death Wish. I was looking up to see if that was based on your guy's real world thing. It doesn't say it is here, but

Death Wish is very similar. His wife and daughter are raped by like a gang and the police are completely ineffective. And then coincidentally, his boss sends him away to Texas to get his mind off things and do an architecture job down there for some Texas oil man. and the oil man and him like really bond and the old man's like I put a little something in your luggage little gift for when you get back home

and when he gets back home he opens his luggage and there's a pistol in there and he takes that pistol and he starts like just going around town cleaning things up he just gets on the subway and sits there and waits for somebody to bother him and he got the gun ready death wish was 10 years before

Bernard gets so it could be based the other way and he did have a gun he killed four people four black majors he killed allegedly we're going to mug him. Bad optics these days, huh? Yeah. Well, he got to shoot a white one too, you know, mix it up a little. Right, right.

To prove you're not racist, that makes sense. Yeah, I'd be, that'd be a fun. He's just out there every night looking for that white criminal to shoot so that he doesn't look like he's a racist. He's like, I really am just trying to clean the streets, but where are those guys from the, I'm trying to find those guys from the ADT commercials. trying to make himself vulnerable to a white collar crime.

Some guy charges him too much on his mortgage. Oh yeah, those ADT commercials are funny. It's like some like 55 year old white guy with bifocals on is breaking into your house. It's like it's just so funny because they were so specific with the casting there. Because if someone

in that little marketing agency was like, hey, we could use this guy. He used him in a lot of commercials. He did great with the Plavix commercial. You know, Jamal and they're like, yeah, we love Jamal, but Maybe not, no, maybe not this role. We'll get him on another Plavix spot. I'm not sure about those optics, you know.

What about Emilio here? He did great for Taco Fund. Oh, speaking of optics, you were sending me some clips about it, Kyle. And then I followed up and learned a little more. Do you see that Twitch communist shocking his dog and everybody getting mad at? And they just lied to. Caleb, did you see this? That like,

Hassan? Yeah, that big, uh, commie streamer shocked his dog. And then for like getting out of the bed and apparently like, I don't watch this guy, but I saw people being like,

wait, so this guy has his dog behind him on that bed for six to eight hours straight every day while he streams. And they're like, yeah. And it's like, no one's brought this up before. Like as like,

that's not what dogs want to be doing. And the dog stepped off. He like reached in front of his. desk, hit a button on something, and then the dog went like, and jumped up. And then his excuse later was like, oh, the dog scratched his paw on the bed. And it's like, yeah, I don't think so. Because if my dog yelped out in pain randomly, I'd be like, you good? Like, you, you're okay, buddy? Like, I'd be, I'd want to make sure he's okay. He expected the dog to yell because he shocked it. And then I saw the clip of him the next day taking, or maybe a couple days later, where he

had just taken the prongs out of the shot collar and put a piece of electrical tape on it. And he'd been like, this is a vibration collar only. And immediately, the whole internet was like, no, it's not. Here's a link to the exact one you have. The prongs are removable. And that's a piece of electric tape. And also, there's no hair in the electric tape that tells me you just put it on earlier before the shot. A dog couldn't have worn this without getting hair.

And I'm like, wow, you have a lot of autistic enemies. And they're coming for you for this dog. Yeah, and watching them break down an Amazon image of an actual vibrate collar versus his screen grabs and go like frame by frame like the Zapruder film was hilarious. Yeah, it's clear that he zaps the dog. He's just admitted like, yeah, this is how I train my dog, I zap her. And I tell you what, you donate, I won't zapper. You should just make it that way.

I know that one Twitch streamer had like a thing where you donate and it feeds a cap. The cow's waiting there, like nudging the feeder, and you donate and feed spills out. The cow eats the food, and he's happy. Well, that's opposite here. We hold, what's that dog's name, Kaya? We hold Kaya hostage, you know, she's getting a zap every 10 minutes if we don't meet our goals. Seems like Kaya is hostage. We need to liberate Kaya from that bed where she has to lay for six to eight hours a day.

Can you imagine, like, being a dog and you're like, this is my... She gets to lie around in bed for eight hours a day. They don't want to lay in bed. bed for eight hours. Oh, they love laying in bed for hours on air. The dogs love to move around. They want to be hanging out. I've got 10 dogs. I love dog. Would you, would you shock any of them for not sitting still? I don't make any of them listen. After about four, I was like, I don't give a fuck about any of this stuff. I just sometimes I lay down and I let them all attack me and shower me and love and stuff. And it's amazing. And it makes life way better. That is sweet. Dogs are great.

Yeah. Which is why I wouldn't use one like a prop to sit behind me for eight hours at a clip. Yeah. That's absurd. Yeah, I think, I mean, I have dogs, and I use my dog Frankie sometimes as a prop. I have like a little bed right here. But she doesn't, she doesn't like it very much, and she just leaves. And I don't say, you know, Frankie, stay in this bed, you fuck, or whatever.

She goes and lays over there or climbs up there and just kind of does whatever she wants because she's a she's a dog and there's nothing that I can do to control her. Not that I would want to anyways. I just want to see her happy. That's well known. There's nothing to be done to control dogs. Yeah, there's nothing to be done. Yeah, they're untrainable. That's what makes them

awesome. I saw, there were a bunch of other clips surfacing of like, this guy's like hasn't been chill with dogs for a while. I guess his old dog was like a pit bull and it showed him like yanking the dog's tail to like pull it back towards him instead of like grabbing a leash or just grabbing the dogs

somewhere else he's yanked by the tail which isn't very good for dogs if you if you're retarded out there and you've never been around a dog you're not supposed to yank the tail oh see Trump is liberating is that real from this dastardly

communist dastardly communists fucking dastardly dude yeah I saw a clip of uh I saw a video of uh the what kind of dog is that is that a this is a great dame great dane it is it is about seven weeks old. We just got her and her name is Jonah Bark. That's pretty good.

We picked her out when she was like two weeks old. We've been waiting for her. She's so sweet. She's got that soft velvety puppy fur, a little puppy skin. Is that a shot collar? Obviously. There was a toothal. The ones for bulls were cheaper. So I just got that. that's an adorable dog wuddy hoping yeah that is a cute dog wishing you any happy years with little joan those creatures yeah i love

i don't know how you can i don't know how you could dislike dogs i know it's kind of i used to be a cat guy a big time cat guy when i was a youngster what is that what he had double dog they doubled up on us what is this they had another one this is indiana bones

that's Indiana bones earlier you were probably like yeah I might have thought of that oh that's great you got double dogs I'm their brother and sister great things I guess Great Danes are like kids

it seems like we're like you're not going to be able to hold them like that for even a year from now they just get enormous actually faster than kids If she comes with a third dog, I'm going to have a problem with it. This is where it stops. There's only two.

That's awesome for you. I'm happy for you guys. Those are sweet, sweet puppies. Is that like your plan post show tonight? Hot pretzel, play with the dogs? That would be my plan. We don't leave them alone at all. They're pretty much getting snuggled 24 hours a day at this point. I look forward to cutting down on that.

how big are the parents are they gargantuan dogs they were big do you know how much the parents weighed um 130 140 130 and 140 I guess fuck wow I wrestled at 140 in eighth grade do you want to take them one of the time

you can do it okay look at those fuckers it was very sweet yeah so that's we just call them jony and indy but their full names are indiana bones and jonah bark i've had enough people who are like career dog people like train lots of and whatnot they've told me that ending the dog's name like whatever the most commonly used name is stuff like indy indiana would be indy is to end it with a y sound because like for some reason

that resonates more with them it's like natural they pick up on it that was in my head when we shortened them because you mentioned it I think on the show a few weeks ago yeah indeed Joni I don't know that they'll be able to tell their names apart because it's the why on the end

but yeah so we got there we went to pick up Joni and they said they had one more dog that wasn't spoken for and I was kind of just planning on getting one dog and then I'm like is it a boy And they're like, it is a boy.

I'm like, let's see him. And he kind of sold himself. So we brought two home. It wasn't planned. I love dogs. That's great. Yeah. So we've been a two dog house for, I don't know, 30 years now.

So we're back. We've got, we have five normally, but we're watching five more from my, uh, my buddy. You have a farm though, right? 10 is, oh, it's only like one and a half. half times as many as five. Seriously, I will be honest though, 10 is not, like five is a lot. It feels like a lot

and there's just, there's just a lot going on. Ten isn't that much more than five when it comes to dogs. To having animals, like, five is just it's all like the annoyance of like, oh, I got to fill that many more feed bowls or the water's got to be filled that much more often.

You know, those things become just things that are just second nature at that point where you're not even thinking about it because there's so many creatures that are just awesome running around and hopefully we won't have all 10 forever but the

we're watching them for a buddy but I wouldn't mind to be honest I love them I think that they're really cool and they're easy to take care of and they're just like I don't know they run around the situation where a friend approaches you and says I need you to watch five dogs for me

Like, Mr. He was getting weird. Like, what was he? No, no, he's just,

he's, he's traveling a lot, I'll say. We'll should, we should say, yeah, traveling a lot of five fucking dogs.

Yeah. Yeah, no, it's, it's definitely, it's definitely not a, it's more so like, let me,

I want him. Let me, let me hang on to him for a little bit. Let me hang out with them. Let me let my dogs hang out with your dogs for a little bit. And then you can,

you can rest. It's more of like a me kind of offering to him type. And you're socializing them too. You don't want weird, like, homeschooled kids. Oh, dude. And my, I have two dogs that have been with me for a long time, Petey and Frankie. And they're extremely homeschooled. They're, they don't, they ignore the other dogs completely.

And they just look at me. And they have these big, bulgy eyes. And they're just like, they're freaks. And they're so weird. And they don't, they don't fit in. Oh. They, they get bullied by the other dogs. But I think that's how they, that's kind of their social place.

and they like it. They like to play very aggressively with like balls and stuff, not like fighting or whatever, but like I'll throw a ball and they have to get it. And they've been a little more happy seeming at the end of the day, even in spite of not fitting in. So it seems like there's a positive net positive overall for the pack. Good.

Yeah. You're becoming the real pack leader. I love animals. I love dogs. I liked seeing dogs like I'm on my green. grandpa's farm growing up like he would you know get new dogs when the old ones passed away and he'd have a few at a time for hunting and whatnot but like when we would bring our dog to the country for the first time and it was fun to observe them seeing a cow for the first time ever

and like going up to it and like not fully getting it being scared but also like clearly interested doing that like dog like you know face down towards the ground like crawling forward almost with their butt raised like curious because and then all like the farm dogs are running around like you need to these things are just like big giant monoliths of meat like they're friendly they're not going to hurt you but like all the city dogs and be like what the fuck

is this thing I'm running away this is pretty scary that's the biggest you ever see the video of the Dalmatian and the horse that speckled just like a Dalmatian and the Dalmatian is like oh a giant me he's like running around playing with the horse that's great cool

I saw a video of a dog at like one of those nature preserves where animals will approach your car and you can like roll down the window and feed something and it was like a zebra or a giant wild horse or something like sticking its head in the window to get fed and the dog and the passenger seat just looked horrified just was so scared he had like aOC eyes a lot of white showing above the top it was a very cute I like that I like that I saw that the dog was fucking terrified. I don't think my dogs have never seen you that stuff. I should take Toby to my dad's farm and show him a cow. I bet he'd like that. He's definitely a homeschool dog, though. My dogs don't like people. They don't like other dogs. They bark and scream at anybody they see. It's great. It's great. And people they don't see.

They might hear a guy three blocks away, slam a door too loud, and they just go insane mode. Like, all night long, all day long, it's wonderful. It's wonderful. I can tell when we're, doing the show sometimes where you have to mute every like 40 seconds he's like shut up

he's barking at nothing he gets up on the couch and he's made a little divot in the top cushion of the couch and he like moves the curtains out of the way and like moves the blinds out of the way and then he street watches he just everybody going down the street he's like move along you don't live here

just looking for problems yeah yeah he sits there for hours in the dog's head do you think there thinking on some level like someone's got to do this like someone's got to be on the lookout because my guy is up there doing whatever he does instead in front of that bright screen

I got his back right now and I don't know what's happening. It's very endearing they're so jealous of me and my girlfriend too like if I just if she's doing something I walk up behind her and I just like scratch her back or like rub her shoulders they go insane just just no no! I don't know

if they're jealous and they want the scritches or if they think I'm hurting her. But it goes both ways. If she does the same thing to me, lose their fucking mind. Leave him alone. Leave him alone. Scritch me instead. They're just so needy and so jealous. They're so needy and so jealous.

Like, Toby sleeps in bed between us and, like, you have to remove him from the room if you're going to have sex or if you're even going to, like, make out. He can't be there because he's jelly. He won't stand for it. Yeah. He wants to be part of the team.

You can at least walk, no? No, no, no, you can't. You were right, boss. That was upsetting. I read some like green text online a while ago where it was some guy posting on 4chan where he's like, hey, guys, I need help. I'm a gay man and my dog and I have been very close. And, you know, he's my dog.

And my boyfriend lives with me. And so, you know, the dog's cool with him now, too. But the dog, for the first time ever, walked in on us having sex. And I am the bottom. And so he walked in on me getting plowed by my boyfriend. And now my dog won't even look at me. My dog doesn't want anything to do with me. He won't snuggle.

He won't hang out. He's like, he's getting more familiar with my boyfriend instead of me. I think, guys, what do I do? I feel like my dog has lost all respect for me. Which, if true. a very, very funny story. That would be alarming. We do something like that with the vacuum cleaner.

My dogs were terrified of the vacuum, and especially the little robo vacuum. And I read about someone who had a cure for that, so I tried it. So now when the vacuum comes on, I beat the shit out of it, and I scold it. And then the dogs realize that the vacuum

is below me in the hierarchy, and they feel safe again. So they know what it's like to be scolded and told bad. No. They know they've messed up And that that's me And exerting my dominance over them So I do the same thing

To the fucking ninja vacuum That's awesome Brubbuck you Blah slap the shit out of it You leave Toby alone He is in charge here I'll fucking slap it again The vacuum don't care

And Toby's like All right dude I understand now All right I was a little afraid He was gonna rough us all up But since I did that I'm not afraid of the vacuum anymore

It's great Perfect Man you're quite the dog owner that's a real same thing to my girlfriend slap shit out of her let them know of it you beat that she gets us afraid to the vacuum

so you hit the vacuum in front of her yeah I don't want any more dogs though I don't want any more dogs though we've got three one of them may or may not have some sort of liver cancer right now so

if that takes her unfortunately I'll probably get another Pomeranian but I don't think I want any big dogs I can't believe Woody likes those big dogs. I see, I'm like, okay, so he's growing 250 pounds worth of livestock to support. Yeah. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a calf. To be fair, too, the 10 dogs that I have are all very small, too. They're not large. I like varipops. More than half dachshund. Oh, that's great. Big dog is just not fairly represented on the podcast. You know what they call a group of doxins?

A sizzle. Sizzle. Yeah, because they're a weaners. Ah. Yeah. That's cute. That's why I want more Pomeranians. A group of Poms is called a Puff. And I want a Puff of POMs. That makes sense. Get another POM. Or just like, you know, divide it up. Get a different type of very small fluffy dog.

So you have a little variety, but they're still the same little small fluffy dog. I think I want more POMs. I really like Pomeranians. I like his style. I like his attitude. It's that classic thing of a little dog that thinks it's a big dog. But he's just bossy and stubborn and really intelligent. Like, if he wants to go out, he comes and starts giving me kisses.

like incessantly just won't leave me alone he lets me know any grunts and snorts his little snorts short snoot his little bug eyes it's great

love that fucking dog that's why that's why with this Hassan thing I'm like I could never zap little Murphy yeah little dogs it's like

how could you even it just doesn't make any sense I wouldn't zap my big dog and you know he's just so innocent and lovable and like he doesn't deserve

be zapped like you know like and keeping them on that pedestal all day as a prop is that's the part that's hard with me like I when I first heard it and I wasn't fully informed I was like is that being really so different than what Caesar the dog whisperer does like he tugs on their ears and they yelp sometimes you know and he says that's the same kind of correction that a mother does to a puppy when when it like they do um I think it's a term for bite training but you know to bite suppression or whatever they call it. They sort of nip on their ears or something and say, hey, no,

people don't like that. And he's using a zapping collar. And I was like, all right, I don't love it or anything. But, like, I don't know, is it so terrible compared to, like, pulling the ears? The idea of keeping him pinned on the bed

and not just being a dog, not letting him live a dog's happy life, that's the, like, darn near solitary confinement constant punishment that doesn't sit right with me i i had the exact same that seems like punishment yeah it to the dog that is punishment the dog lives in time out yeah and it's like it knows it's going to get shocked if it like yeah and it's like yeah i know lots people use shot collars for for dogs but usually when i think of like shot collars being used

it's for something like serious like you have a dog that's about to run into the road or something or you have a dog that's about to get into a fight or something not like you stay right to fuck there I had these collars that had a shock and a beep and a vibrate setting and it all even said there on the like guide when I bought them off Amazon years ago it was like just start with the beep or the vibrate and most people find that that's scares the dog enough. You never actually have to use the shock because there were times like when my fence wasn't up yet and the dogs were in the backyard and I could see them starting to like do that little like dog wind up where I'm like this little fucker's about to sprint into

the street and then run down the road and he's going to get hit and then you just hit him with either the vibrate or this like beep just like it's loud electric beep and they sprint back to you because to them there was just a shocking loud beep and they're like what the fuck's going like they hide tail it right back to you and that's all the vibrate works. I I have a bark collar that I should put on Murphy that vibrates when he barks too loud and he immediately learns. Like it only has to vibrate once

and he's just like, oh shit. Barking my whole thing. And also like apparently the kind of dog Hassan has is like a very active breed. Like something that wants to be running around all the time wants to be moving and inactive. And so that like it's not okay to do that to any dog obviously but like it makes it even worse.

doing that to like a border collie tier dog that just wants to zoot and go than it is to do it to like a what do they call it cavalier lay down all the time yeah i guess they want to lay down all the time they just want to lay down all the time but even then like just like even lazy dogs just look at them they're standing up and moving constantly like they always want to be milling about and moving they're animals like it's you i like to do that i can't talk on the phone unless i'm like milling about and moving. Like, I would hate being beeped or shocked if I got out of my chair.

Yeah. So two thumbs down to that guy. Not a fan. It seems like he's really getting a lot of guff online. He's getting a ton of guy. Dude, he's had some takes, like, basically pro-terrorist takes, that haven't gotten him as much heat as this dog thing. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I've made up this fiction in my mind.

I don't know how accurate it is. But, like, is he from a culture that just is more abusive towards dog? because he acts like everybody's wrong but him he's what did you say turkish i don't know i don't know how turkish people treat their dogs but he's like none of you guys know anything about dog training none of you guys know anything about discipline this is how it like he he thinks he's right and i'm like shit is that just how they do it in his family i don't know yeah a lot of a lot of places on earth Like, just culturally are not as cool dogs as we are in like the, like the, I guess, peak richest western countries.

Over time, how violent you should be with your children has changed, right? You know, there was a spare of the rod, spoil the child type vibe that would be generally accepted in America 50 years ago. And now hitting your kid is, you know, call child protective services. What is going on here? This is insane. Kids need more hitting. I'm being honest. This current generation needs some beatings, you know? It's just filled milk, but it's the third time.

You get in one. If I were born 20 years later, I'd have been getting away with murder. I needed those beatings. Having no fear of getting away. Yeah. And look at all of us. I found it in doing congearing. I enjoyed it.

You like getting beat. Yeah, I did. It was like a challenge almost. Like, that didn't hurt. And then I'd run away. told my mom it didn't hurt once regret. Yeah, shouldn't have said that

because dad plays for keeps. My dad came into that bedroom that night. Like he like jumped up to touch the title sign leaving like the game seven hallway. Woo! Came in. Did he use a belt? Did he use a belt?

Is that part real? Yeah. I imagine him like LeBron with the the talcum powder on his hands. Woo! He's marching back and forth saying this is what we play for. And I'm like, ooh, ooh! It's shaking.

I'm like Hassan's dog. Yeah, my dad never wop my ass, not once. Only my mom. Really? Yeah. My dad's very, very passive. And I feel like I was also a great child. But I don't remember, I don't remember everybody getting in trouble too much.

And whatever I did was always over like really small stuff. I got my ass whooped at the China Jade once, which is like a Chinese buffet because I was making fun of the Chinese people in there. It's like a little kid. And my mom took me into the bathroom, whooped my ass, and then brought me back out. I told her it didn't hurt. And then she did it again. And then, yeah, I don't remember what happened.

I feel like I probably smartened up after that point. But I remember it as being endearing and not scary. It would be like, come with me. me. We're going somewhere where no one can see what I'll do to you. It's like, no, no, let's stay out here. Get here by the fountains. Those are the worst days where you're like, you're like, you get home from school. You tell your mom something you, like you were talking too much or acting up in school.

And she's like, wait for your father to get home. And then it would be like two hours of trying to play in the woods with like neighborhood friends. and I'm just my spirit's not in it I'm just so scared they're all like why aren't you as into playing Lord of the Rings today or whatever and it's like guys I've got I've got fucking 10th the equivalent

of 10,000 or a Kai coming home to wreck me oh and that was the worst when they get like he gets home and it's like I knew I'm going to be spanked for this and I'd always want to like front load it and then sometimes dad was just too tired from work and so we'd like eat first

and I'm like, oh, and so you're not getting spanked until like seven. And so many, many hours have gone by. Oh, terrible times. I had one of those, but it worked out way better. Like, I don't even remember what the offense was, but my mom was like, I'm telling your father. And all day long, it's like I'm going to get beat up after school or something, you know, like I've got this sense of dread, this beating that's coming. And my dad got home and he was like, eh, for that.

he just wasn't into it I didn't get hit at all that didn't see like a big enough offense I didn't tell my dad was I didn't get those time delayed ones like the ones where like wait to your dad gets home like that didn't happen we're gonna we would handle things right here and now

okay and if dad wasn't home then mom was fully capable of whooping my ass oh yeah I did something to I must have been maybe like seven or eight so my brother was five or six and I guess maybe I took one of his toys or I did something I wasn't supposed to I don't even remember but my mom got so peeved got so heated over it she like saw me from

the porch doing that in the backyard I guess like taking his truck or something and my mom was like Taylor for the last time she's like running down and then she like grabbed me and she made me go pull a switch off of the willow tree to get smacked with and so I'm like looking for the most tiddly wink weakest of the switches. I'm passing the girthy big boys that could do damage and I'm getting like a low, but I knew I couldn't get the lowest tier one that would like fall apart when it rotted or she would know and then she'd go get her own switch and then it would be bad news. And then she just, I like, I remember running in a semi circle with her like the three stooges

while she kept trying and failing to get a good purchase on my ass or lower back switch. And she just couldn't get it. I think that was another way to your day. about the switch thing when I was of the age where I would get hit and it gave me anxiety because I didn't and really still don't know what a switch is outside of the light you know the thing that turns a light on and on on and off and I was like oh man if I'm ever asked to get a switch I don't think I'll do it right I think I'm gonna fuck this up and then I'll have done two things that are bad well Woody came back with a stick so I beat him to high heaven what the hell is a switch you know those like the willow branches that that come off the willow tree where you can you can pull them off and it's like a vine you can crack it green slightly fibrous growth it could be from a willow tree or i remember my cousins they made them go like they were like some things grown out of the ground that they would make them go get but but my parents never did that to me because that's barbaric they just

used a shoe or a belt or their hand my dad's denormous farmer hands um it would be one of those things but I remember my cousin being over there and somebody made him go get a switch but they had a game to it almost she'd say bring me three switches because she's going to pick one and like like it's it's some sort of fucking mental torture preceding the physical torture it's like it's just this mental anguish you're going through picking out three switches and she's going to pick which one to hit you with and you don't know what the game's even about like what if I bring her like a big one, a medium one, a little one. Is that what she wants? Or does she want me to like show some contrition here? Like I've earned a beating so I should bring her three good

ones. She might just like weave them all together. It's like a mega switch. You never know. Granny's handy like that. You know, you don't know what's going to happen. Oh yeah. And you could those stung a lot because when we were playing in the yard like it wasn't uncommon for one of us to like rip a switch off and then like someone else is wearing shorts and not looking and you go like wah and you smack him right in like the back of the calf with the willow branch switch and there'd be like a big red line there it hurt i mostly got a belt i think the belt and my dad's hand were like the main instruments of uh whooping he punched me the arm one time uh when we were we were in the truck and i was in the passenger side i don't remember what i said but i said something bad and he just went

and like punched me in the shoulder and I was like, ow! Because I was just a little bit too old to have my ass whipped at this point, but an arm putt seemed like the way to go. I was happy with it. I got a, I got spooned, wooden spoons, and then a couple times my mom couldn't find the fucking wooden spoon. So one of those like black plastic covered metal spoons.

Mixer. Nothing was a mixture. That thing was a little stirred up. go get my kitchen aide you're in big trouble that is funny to think back on now is like I made my mom or someone like so mad in the moment that they just like reached for the nearest cooking implement

yeah that's crazy yeah I remember I think that's like spoons I hear that from people like that's is that not wooden spoons I never got hit with a wooden spoon I don't think that we really had a lot of wooded and spoons in the household. And if we did, that wouldn't be the go-to. She would, I remember her throwing shoes a lot. I think she would hit me with a belt. Dad would, oh yeah, I remember

chasing me around my bedroom and I would run around to the far side of the bed and then she'd come around there so I'd be cornered and I would like do a roll over the bed like an action hero and look onto the other side. Like we, there was no like surrendering to her whooping me. Like if dad was like, come here, you get an ass whooping? I'd surrender. because I knew it was going to be like so much word like he'd get me eventually but something about my mom coming with an asswhip and I'd be like you gotta have to catch me first break because I knew I could get away from her and I could sort of live my life far enough from her that this could go on for days and she'll eventually cool off and forget maybe

I dove out my window to escape her one time that's dramatic yeah out of first floor like house window Yeah. You're not the screen out. That's two ass whoopens. It's like, I'm gone. Not right now. It's not. Yeah, that was, it's funny

how much overlap there is with like parental disciplinary stories with like everyone, especially with the same. Like the only thing I have no familiarity with is the shoe inclusion

in both of your stories because there was nothing. shoes were so far out of my mind as even a possibility it's like well wooden spoon or one of the metal spoons if you can't find that or a switch or a belt she's wearing the shoe though she's ready to go and she doesn't wear a belt she's wearing like some sort of lady dress or some shit yeah i don't know it just doesn't seem like shoes would be good it would be an unwieldy thing to throw you're gonna like put a hole in the drywall oh you don't throw them she was like one of those english tart throwers with those shoes dude oh so pal your mom was tossing them and i know woodie's was a hammer yeah yeah yeah yeah my mom's more ranged combat and his is more of a melee mom a mage versus a soldier my mom was more of a summoner where she would summon my dad he would take care of business she flicked those shoes and you know you dodged a few of them but she's got a collection shoot I remember she hit me in the mouth with one time she She hit me in the head with it.

And then she was like, oh, no, I hit you. And I'm like, you're throwing them at me. Of course you hit me. Like, what would you? Like, this is, you're actively flicking your shoes at me as hard as you can. And now you're, like, bummed out because it hit me. She was just blowing off steam. She realized that how much she loved her, dear boy.

I really did. Those asswomen. So I would purposefully infuriate her. Like, I could, I could play her like an instrument, just making her matter and matter, hitting higher and higher pitches on a guitar just I knew how to do it and she she would get cross-eyed when she got really mad she'd be you she started like Zipo from Friday Caleb were you a good kid or a bad kid I think I was a great kid and yeah I mean I think I was just overall awesome um to be to be real with you my sister was was really good as well she was like a huge brown noser and just did everything

really good and I kind of didn't really do as much stuff, but I didn't ever get in trouble. Like I was a very cautious and, I don't know, I used to like leave and stuff a lot and go live in the woods and all that type of shit. I feel like my parents just didn't really care that much. So there was no real, I didn't, if I fucked something up or whatever, if I did kid stuff, they were just like, oh, just fix it or whatever. Or like, I'll help you fix it or something like that. They're not, not a lot of rage or, because my parents didn't have normal jobs.

I feel like, I think that that is a lot, a big thing, you know, coming after, coming home after work and your kids fuck everything up and you just, they feel like, you feel like they're just whatever fucking, I don't know. That's what it seemed like a lot of my friends, uh, the relationships that they had with their parents is that they were burdens to them, um, where it's like, I definitely felt like I, uh, was included a lot in my parents' lives and their jobs and work and stuff. So I feel like I was a great kid. So you didn't get in trouble at school for like talking back. I was home school. Or, oh, I, forget that about you because you don't this is a whole way through that you don't have that vibe

whole way through yeah first grade i went to i went in there got in trouble started a food fight and then uh the way that they reprimanded me my mom thought was um uh terrible uh which it really wasn't but she was a teacher already so she was just like i'll just homeschool my children and uh yeah not for religious reasons or anything but just because i don't know my parents both worked with a lot of people so we went we had to go with them a lot and socialize a lot and learn how businesses are run and um how to be you know was there a curriculum what did you just do uh yeah uh there was a the the initial curriculum was this thing called perblossom private school which is a it's a it's a it's a or sorry calvert i think calvert uh because i'm from

northern virginia um or west north west north west from virginia and it's like a county in in maryland and it was really hard the first couple years were very hard and i remember like actually working for four or five hours a day like hardcore focused working the whole time it wasn't my experience yeah no and then

towards the end though it was like I would get shit done in 45 fucking minutes you know it was like a total total joke but the initial school was very hard and it was I think it was a private school but I care remember the curriculum we used was from some sort of private school but it was also a Christian academy so part of the lesson plan was

Bible study and memorizing Bible verses and stuff like that. And it was like, I'm not getting any math. You didn't like free A class. That's how I saw a lot of those going to Christian school. It's like, oh, I just go. Now I have to go to easy A class where it's going to like, oh, I have to memorize a couple Bible verses and then like take a test where it's going to be like what book came first, you know, Matthew or, you're, John like the easiest shit people who did bad in religion class I was always like you're like obstinate in your retardation like you you're almost trying you're rebelling via your poor performance here because it's inexcusable to not at least you know pull away with a midrange a if you're caring at all no it wasn't a lot of grading either from being honest I kind of just skipped sixth and seventh grade just just to do those that's so funny is there a hole in your

education about like multiplying decimals he doesn't know any of the state capitals there's a there's a placement test when you come back that i had to take that was all there was like as far as like your grades or everything like you just sent back to that christian academy place like yeah he's learning great and they were like cool you get all those bible verses down like yep cool here's your certification but then when you go back to real public school you have to take a placement test and I was I had taken a practice test like version of this and and and I was surprised when I got there it was the same test not just the same type of test verbatim the same test I had practiced three times before placing I was like I remember literally getting questions wrong

because I didn't want to be an advanced math I was like funny I know all this but I shouldn't it was one of those dude when I first went college freshman year they were like there's these like two or three math classes that are required for everyone like algebra and trig or some other shit but if you you can test you could choose to test out of it like right like first week of the school year if you wanted to you could go and take this big long test and it would fulfill and you would just get like back credit for those two baseline math classes and I remember going into it being like oh man like I'm not I'm given this a go because I really I'd like to avoid the math class

but I'm not that hopeful like I'm not the best at math I really haven't been paying attention that much in math for the past few years and then I got in there and got this fucking state public school math test out exam and it was like I was like Charlie with the golden ticket where I'm like these are the fucking questions am I being is am I being filmed for punked right now where they're going to bring the real test out in a second because this is laughably easy even for my retarded ass and there were people in there being like and I was like oh fuck like this is brutal I remember going like to my first English class in college the like the one that all the freshmen went to and having to proofread other kids papers and this was 2009 and so I imagine kids are even more retarded now with chat GPT and everything but there were like college students like normal looking kids and then they would like hand me their paper to look at and it's like all right well problem here you've got a lot of incomplete sentence is this is an MLA format. The second paragraph starts with the word because that's a faux and it was just absurd how bad a lot of people are at writing. And that's going to we're definitely imagine how much worse it is now. The brain rot is real. Every time. Yeah. But I don't I don't get exposed to a lot of young people like like 17 to 22 year olds exactly. But so I get my information from the internet and that can be an unreliable source. But I often see those. shorts from teachers who are talking about what you know they teach third grade or they teach fifth

grade they teach eighth grade and they're talking about where their students are with the basics you know at what age they're able to read a chapter book that's a big one at what age they they're able to you know write and read in complete sentences that's another one and everybody is like five years behind according to most of those teachers it seems like I don't have any kids that can multiply two numbers together it's like eighth grade it's like what's going on here I don't know what it's what it spells for our future

as like I don't know a country like those are the kids who are going to be filling those advanced positions like we need smart people to do smart people things and we need everybody to have like some basic fucking expertise in reading writing and arithmetic it's embarrassing whenever I see those back in the day Jay Leno would do the street interviews

and they would ask usually some ditsy blonde like the capital of Albania and everybody'd laugh because she didn't know now it just seems like any old person on the street doesn't know how many continents there are or like when World War II was roughly speaking you know was that the 1800s the 1700s

when was that what was that about who were the bad guys like they just don't know I convince myself all those man on the street things are curated because otherwise yeah otherwise it would be too hopeless a reality to even face. Like if he was actually walking up to 15 concurrent people

and being like, how many presidents has America had? And they're given answers like, uh, 700, six. It's like, no, more than six. How many years has America been around? I don't know, man, 2000. Or like, just like the most absurd answers. Well, I know 47 presidents because Donald Trump, makes a big deal of it.

45 presidents, because we got a couple double dippers ruining the stats. Yeah, yeah. Donald Trump is, every day I'm blown away by the new, like, developments. To be fair, I called this pre-election when they were running him through the legal ringer in New York, I was like, this is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. First of all, he's going to be innocent or he's going to get a wrist slap. But no matter what, he is going to.

going to be infuriated. This is going to stick with him the way that Obama joke night went that time. That it's just going to stick in his craw. And he is about to be, once again, the most powerful man in the world. I said this a year and a half ago. And when he does that, if you really piss him off like this, if you keep running him through this legal ringer, he might just create new courts, new tribunals. He might make a military court and just sit there in judgment himself. He will reach as far. into the power jar as he's allowed and because he has the Supreme Court

that's pretty damn far and sure enough all these people are being indicted John Bolton got indicted today today I think Comey has been indicted like if Biden hadn't done that blanket pardon which at the time was a bad look

his family would be right now that's not fair to lay at his feet he had no idea if he hadn't done that though you can rest assured that the Biden administration, those core people who were pardoned, his family, maybe him he himself would be having legal issues right now with the State Department

because Trump just straight up sent a tweet to Pam Bondi to and sicked her on them. If she's the one going after. She is retarded. There's not a useless retard than Pam Bondi. She is so in that. I do not like

that bitch. She is so inept, incapable. underqualified, batted her job. I see her as the opposite. Oh, I see her as a useless idiot. She had like a mandate after the Charlie Kirk thing to like go out there and like really put the screws to a lot of the political opponents. And instead she's like, we're going to crack down on hate speech because of the and it's like that's how you frame this, you fucking cunt, you idiot. Like that's that is so brain dead.

Yeah, I just. she is the worst by far of his administration Cash Patel She's not getting enough people arrested and I think she's just He needs a better He needs a better

A more competent person to do this She's out there Like doing horrible framing of these things Making winning issues into potentially losing ones And then you got Cash Patel out there Looking horrified every time he's on camera With those big like deer in the headlights eyes Yeah

being like him like god yeah and i oh and then what the fuck was that gay shit with uh cash where charlie kirk like devout christian dies and cash patel goes up there and he's like i will see you in valhalla brother and it's like first of all you're indian second like do you think that's what charlie kirk would want you to say i'll see you in valhalla brother this like gay HBO series line oh yeah those those two are my least Those two are my least favorite by far. Cash Patelman Lottie. Very interesting.

Did you see Vivek Ramoswami at that conservative convention speaking? And he's being the crap. It's like a town hall almost, but it's a big building full of people. And they're handing the mic to these young conservatives. It may have been a young conservative like get together. Was it a rally? He's going for governor, right? Something like that.

Does that sound right? Perhaps. He'll be losing. That is. The government was what was in question. Because these young kids are like Charlie Kirk disciples. So they're just like, this is a Christian nation found around Christian values. You yourself are an Indian.

What are you going to conserve? How could you ever conserve anything in a country that you are foreign? So do not redeem this question. He's like, your religion is based, aren't you a polytheist? And he's like, well, you understand, you know, there's the father, son, and the holy ghost. That doesn't make you a polytheist. They're like, no, it doesn't. It's all one religion.

you are a Hindu, aren't you? He was like, well, I choose to see myself as an ethical monotheist and the crowd is like, Brough! Jesus, our Lord and Savior. We're washed in the blood, you stinky Indian. Get fucked, Vibbilt and death.

Yeah, the Republicans were way too biggating to accept him. No, dude, do you know his history? Like, he made his money through like a big, bullshit what was it it was a

Alzheimer's drug where there was an Alzheimer's drug that had been studied a lot and no no dice didn't work

great his mother using her firm bought the rights to that drug they ginned up some new

studies internally saying that it was very promising and then they took a huge amount of investors

on and then he cut and ran and so this Indian guy running for the Ohio Senate

or the Ohio governorship is like literally a scammer seemingly. You read about it. Literally. Although that sounds terrible. I don't like people who are grifters and scammers too. But their issue was his religion and maybe his skin color. My issue is him scamming people and also him like having that. Remember last Christmas he and Elon had that spas out where they're like, he was like,

the problem with Americans is they're like lazy and we need to import more Indians. And it's like, okay, thanks for taking the mask off there for a second, Vivek. We're not going to forget this. Like, no, fuck you. Like, you should not come to America, take advantage of us, screw over Americans, and then make your highest priority hiring a bunch of other Indians and H-WD people. He's born in America, right, isn't he? I mean, he ran for president.

He ran for president. I mean, like, he clicked. Kyle, what? You're muted? He would have to be. He ran for president. Yeah. He would.

Yeah. But he's benefiting. He's seeing his co-ethics as like, better than Americans based on those tweets he said and it's like what the fuck is this dude like you're like going out there wearing a fucking cowboy get up like a retard with like boots and like the you know that shirt he has on with like the Texas flag on it with the most ill-fitting cowboy hat and he's like larping as an american and then he's going on to social media and saying americans are lazy and that hey if americans don't want to be replaced by h1b laborers uh you

know borderline indentured servant slaves to big tech maybe they should like work harder they're watching friends too much is something he says he's like they're spending too time watching friends not enough time studying and it's like fuck you dude yeah friends sucks friends is guy nobody's doing that that's like a lame guy's idea of what people are doing now vivick so yeah i i hope he loses badly i hope he's excised from the republican party and he can't get a job i like to start i'm i'm leaning more and more toward the starship troopers version of managed democracy i suppose where you've got civilians and then you've got citizens everybody's a civilian, but not everyone as a citizen.

Just because you were born here. Well, I mean, it's kind of like that movie. What kind of an American are you? You know? Yeah, I haven't seen that movie. You should have to, you should see the movie. Meth Damon's a bad motherfucker. I love meth Damon.

He's got a whole pile of bodies. They, they, you know, it's the Civil War movie. And most of the movie is fucking lame. But at one point, this van full of journalists who were trying to cover the Civil war and are traveling across states where the fighting lines are kind of ambiguous and it's kind of sketchy. no real law. It's less than martial law. They stumble upon a mass grave and a couple of U.S. soldiers tending to it. And that Jesse Plinkett guy, whatever his name is, is Meth Damon, is sort of

seeing over it. And he starts asking the journalist, American, huh? But what kind of American are you? And it sort of, because he's like, where are you from? She's like, Missouri, show me state. Now that's American. That's American right there. All right. He's all the money. And they're all crying. He's like, Florida. And Florida is kind of ambiguous as far as what side they're on. So you thought, oh, no. He's like, Florida, that's America.

I like that. What about you, Chang? Where are you from? And the guy's just crying. Beijing, China, Chinese. Bang! Just kills him in front of everybody. It's kind of American art.

He killed two people. Yeah, it was super scary. You didn't know what he was looking for exactly. Like if you said you were from North Dakota, I don't know where he would have gone. The movie was interesting. I went into that movie Civil War, expecting it to be a reflection of current events. It was not. I tried to paint current events onto it.

But the partnership was like, I'm going to foul this up. But it's like Texas and Florida and California against Missouri and New Jersey in Vermont. And I'm like, no, that's not how it is. Natural allies. Yeah, yeah. I fouled that up a little bit. Like, you get the idea that the allies. You can imagine a scenario where Texas and California might want to band together.

What if the federal government wanted to break them each up into smaller states to gerrymander them in that way? Like, you know what? How about there's four Texases now? There's north-south, east and west Texas. Each of them much less powerful. All of those politicians are going to lose power. And we're going to redistrict the West Texas. We're going to make that a blue stronghold.

In California, oh, what do you see what we're doing? There are eight Californias now. You could see them being like, no. It almost seems like they should break them up to me. And it also, to me, it's the opposite of what you said. It's not that Texas is too powerful. It's that they're underrepresented. The fact that Texas has two senators and Wyoming also has two senators seems wrong.

And I could say that about California too or New York. You know, how many people are in Texas? Like, $40 million? Yeah, $37, $38 million, something like that? 37, $38 million, 42 senators. And then there's, you know, in Wyoming is what, 600,000? They also have two senators. That's ridiculous as a system.

And they're underrepresented. That's why it's a, there's two chambers, you know. I kind of like that because each state is its own thing, you know, agreeing to come together and cede some of their power for the greater good. So each of them should have an equal, say, in one branch of government. But then you have the House of Representatives that's based on population and everybody gets, more or less but I do think California and Texas should probably

be four states each No Texas has that nice iconic shape California we're going to bust them all up Northern California and Southern California are two different like Oh I'm if that's like If they divide it and Florida And they both have to have the same two senators

It would be devastating for the Democrats if they did this because you'd get way more Republican senator or congressman or whatever But like senators senators sorry but like they that wouldn't be we need to have a rule that if we're going to have more it has to be additive it has to be more land we didn't already have we can't add new states out of existing states we got to add more land because Canada Alberta Saskatchewan I've got an idea we can take all of it other than Quebec and then maybe Quebec if you know if I if they prove

themselves worthy yeah when I learn more about back to France though anyone who can't pass an English literacy test gets sent their ass back to France though as if they're from France That's They've ever been to France I mean

No I'm fine with it Yeah I'm gonna send those Mexican Back to Spain That's where they're from That's where they're from That would be so funny Some guy named Gutierrez

Being shipped back to Barcelona I don't know if I could in here This is like A lot nicer If anything I think we should take more of Mexico I think that Donald Trump

could have actually He blustered about Greenland and Venezuela and Panama and Canada But in reality Mexico seems like the one where he could actually make some sort of legal case

Even if it's not a good one That pushing that border back Is in America's best interest And in our safety He could talk about cartels call them terrorist organizations he could say that they could declare the Mexican government illegitimate because

they're backing terrorists in the same way that they did with the Taliban and just push that boron back 50, 100 miles all the way across called the puffer zone. I'd need to know what we get. I would need to know the exact land we get that one really nice peninsula that we still let Mexico have.

Yeah, we should take that and we should take the good bits of it. But can you imagine how humiliating that would be to like put the final stake in the border wall and then be like we moved it you have to move the whole thing see now you've got two walls it's doubly effective

they have to hop a wall and here and then 50 miles later they got another wall and in between that's where you put the you know the mines and the artillery I think that's a good idea we build two different walls have a nice DMZ and then we say nobody's coming over until Mexico until you guys get your shit together

we're banging it on all cylinder up here you guys need to get it together you know tie up those loose ends get rid of those those dangerous if you took a boss what's that peninsula the the yucatan peninsula that would be pretty sick if he took the whole peninsula and the other shore of it so that you you kept that i don't is it a bay what is that little air the water that's within the the peninsula like we should on all of that that seems like i think it is called the yucatan peninsula that whole area yeah i don't know what happens there we should should, we should control the entire Gulf of Mexico.

You mean, it should be called to the Gulf of America? I don't know. It doesn't roll off the tongue. I'm going to stick with. I don't know how much of Mexico we need, but I would like a lot more of the Caribbean. I think that there's a lot of the Caribbean down there that we should, we should grab up some of those islands. I think we could start by just seizing back Baja, that whole area. And what's, what the fuck is Mexico going to do about it? Let's be real. What are they going to do? Hey, if you guys try to take that land, we're going to allow unchecked migration and send tons of

dangerous drugs into your country. It's like, well, you're already doing that. So I don't think. Honestly, I'd rather have Canada. I love Canada. I went there for the first time and it's awesome. It's a wealthier population and I feel like they're closer to the American culture. But Canada would be a good fit.

I mean, obviously, we're pushing the Mexicans out of reclaimed Mexico. I don't recall. America ever being successful and taking over a country that didn't want to be taken over. It's called the Trail of Tears, okay? We packed up, I don't know, 800,000 Seminole and a million Cherokee,

and we said, pack your shit, you're heading that way, and we sent them to a whole other ecosystem. We just marched them right across the whole country. You know who's the saddest on the Trail of Tears is the slaves of the Seminels. Yes.

Like, we got to keep those. They got to keep this you know at some point some horseman some guy riding up being like hey we're sending you guys and the slaves must have been like please please please please pull us out of this and they're like now you're marching too motherfucker

get up there pretty rough that's crazy that we let the Indians own slaves I don't know if that's more racist or less racist you don't let you don't let your Indians own slaves bigots round here any any dirty redskink on a time or an auntie if he wants to i mean it was the more

traditional form of slavery they had where it was like you just immediately as soon as you conquer another tribe those are your slaves now like that's you know do not pass go it's over we killed all your most of your men and now your your slaves yeah what kind of slaves were they did they cook and clean or were they like concubine type slaves? All of it, yeah. They would rape you whenever they wanted and then they would make you do like grudging work every single time. That is what they did.

The accounts of it are wild, barbaric and just numerous. It wasn't like, oh yeah, that one time where they caught the white people and tortured them. It's like, no, the every time, it's their game. Like they, I can't remember why they wanted the person to suffer so much, but it had a religious, almost spiritual reason. Like, if they had enough time after they caught you, they would,

they had different torture methods. They would skin people alive, burn people alive. The one, it was the guy that Leonardo DiCaprio plays in that bear movie. The Revenant. The Revenant. Yeah, yeah. That was a real life person.

He witnessed one of his buddies. They got shipwrecked and then captured by Indians. And his buddy, they took splinters of pine. they stuck them into his body and turned him into like a porcupine basically while he was tied up and then they lit all the port all the needles of pine on fire this like resinous pine uh pine wood and then he slowly like roasted to death while he watched and then after that's done they looked toward

Leonardo DiCaprio's character and like ah now what are we going to do to you and he produced some dye that he had been had on his body the whole time like i don't remember blue dye maybe like something that they didn't have. They had red ochre and some other stuff, but like blue dye. They were like, oh my God, and the chief was so blown away that he had this pocket full of like dye that not only did he untie

him, not burn him alive, but he let him marry his daughter. And it was like, he should have pulled that die out like 30 minutes prior. Before they porcupined homie over there, he could have been, he takes him this die. Those guys are so there's never been a group

worse at deals. Can you imagine if the first settlers here were Jews? They would have had those guys fucking running lives. They would have been like, check this out, Elijah. You can say anything. That would have been the most unfair power ranking. That would have been the fucking Georgia versus the School for the Blind Jews. negotiating kids to American Indians.

I can't remember which tribe it wasn't that sold the island of Manhattan for the glass beads and some other doodads. The Mohawks live up there, but I don't think it was the Mohawk tribe. It was some tribe in New York. But they sold the island of Manhattan for like glass beads and shiny trinkets

and stuff like that. Yeah, I kind of get it. Like, obviously it's not a good deal I mean to defend it, but they didn't understand land ownership. Land was just something they sort of passed by that just existed like how can you own land it's like when I sold my soul or if I sold you the sun like I'm selling you the son now you mean my soul I mean this is just okay fine and now

you own sunlight good luck with that I think the more like I think the reason it happened really is they were so fearful of the Europeans that they were just trying to take to get something out of it because they saw the writing on the wall because I've heard that of like they didn't understand land ownership and it's like really because for a thousand years all those warring tribes and territories very much understood land ownership you're incurring in my land i am going to kill you this is not under the great bear in the sky like it's this is our land and you just oh some you know seminal guy just walked over and we're the mohawks get ready to get fucked dude because you just crossed over the great i think i think also like along with the land they would often be agreements like it would be like and we won't go any further this way. And then we would just keep breaking our word over and over. And I think there's also a big difference between the plains Indian tribes and the tribes of Texas and southwestern America and those East Coast tribes that we had like a hundred years of semi okay relations with before everything went to shit, you know, trading furs and stuff with. Like that was a big part of

the French Indian War. I think that those guys in the West maybe, I don't know if they understood ownership as much as much as like this is our hunting this is our turf you know you're not supposed to be here because you're from there but like one member of the tribe would never sell like a plot of land to another member of the tribe you know it would be more about horses and people and slaves but but the idea of like having a plot of land because they were moving around so much following the buffalo herds whereas i think the ones on the east coast a lot of them were like farmers and like had established like communities they didn't bounce around from place to place there were also a lot peaceful.

The Cherokee were genuinely a peaceful tribe that didn't they, what were they, I think they called them the civilized tribe or the civilized peoples or something like that. Were they the tribe that mostly like aligned with a lot of the Europeans and then like kind of, kind of semi-used the Europeans to push out a lot of their foes and be like, oh, get a load of this. There's another group you guys are going to want to take a look at up here. And then like that happened a ton in South America. That was a huge part of the South America.

the South American Aztec thing. But I don't know about the Cherokee. All the history I've learned about them seemed to suggest that they were like real quick to learn English and to become quote unquote civilized and go to Washington and meet forever the president was and like do good business with the Europeans. Okay.

Well, then shout out to the Cherokee. Yeah, that's where I'm from. Those are my Indians. Those are definitely better than those horrible ones like out in Utah who were just like like collecting baby ears and shit. I hate the baby-ear Indians. We do it because it freaks people out. The Cherokee have all those casinos down here.

Cherokee North Carolina obviously is named for them. That's that Harrah's Cherokee Casino that me and the boys went to a time or two. It's it is a bigger casino. I think we looked it up than any casino in Vegas. It is bigger than any of the Vegas casinos. Was it empty? It was hopping when I was there. I mean, it wasn't like a young party environment.

During the day, we were playing poker, and it was a bunch of dudes that looked like me. I don't know, just lots of that. And then in the evenings and early mornings, we left early in the morning to go back home, the amount of zomified old people playing slot machines was a little bit, like, dystopic. Like seeing them all. They rub the screen? yeah yeah they all have different interfaces sometimes they're slapping sometimes they're rubbing but it's when you see literally dozens and dozens and dozens of these 70 year plus old people just

slapping their money away into a machine at 7 a.m. 6 a.m., something like that it's like they've been here for a while they have their drink you know they've got either buckets of change or like not even buckets of change anymore everything's digitized I saw that one video of the guy he was playing a slot machine that was like maybe $4,000 per pull. And he, as he's sitting there, you don't even have to go to an ATM. You don't have to go call your bank right there on the machine. The machine is an ATM. He did a bank transfer directly into the machine and sent $25,000 in and then starts rolling, $2,000, $4,000, $6,000. It's an evil genius that they removed that friction of like getting up from your chair and going to an ATM or something like that.

Maybe your head clears a little bit. The cold night air hits you on the way to the bank. You're like, you know what? I'm going home. Yeah. I'm glad that's not my thing. Aren't you glad that gambling doesn't appeal to you at all? Because I'll get a little rush when we bet $10 on a game.

It gives me a reason to watch a game. Even $50 or $100 bet here and there, like maybe a couple times a year. But I grew up. My dad had a friend who had a gambling addiction. And he made really good money. He made $250,000. dollars a year or something like that but he was always broke he was living paycheck to paycheck and he was always he would have to come to my dad and be like and i borrow eight thousand

dollars cash until next week and he would always pay the money back to his credit like that was one thing i was always like it never bothered me when bob would show up to borrow money i would make myself scarce because i didn't want him to have to ask for money in front of me but i never thought less of him for it because he'd show up with eight 10 12 thousand dollars the next week or two weeks later when he said he would like he was going to have it but but if you do the math in your head it's like my god how much money is he losing every week that that he's that he's going like you know 8,000 12,000 in the hole while making um you know four or five thousand dollars a week you always want even the good gamblers like gamblers or it could be stocks and bonds uh at cisco

people used to always tell me about their gains during the dot com era everyone was making money it's like all you guys are talking about these games like you make $9,000 a day yet here you are in the cube next to me you know like are you sure you're just not telling me about your losses like I don't buy it and I rarely see people gamble their way to real wealth I've never seen it yeah yeah I mean there's like and and often when you do see it you're it's kind of like is he though is there is this some sort of sponsored thing. Dan Belzerian. Like Dan Belzerian or there's a guy

to Mickey who's all tatted up. Yeah, I've seen that guy. That guy, like, count cards. He can do it. Well, counting cards isn't even that hard. Like, what he does is even harder. Like, he does all sorts of crazy stuff when he talks about beating Vegas and how much money he makes.

And I don't know whether they'll believe him or not. He tells a good story, you know, obviously I have no idea. I see him at a lot of pro poker events and at a lot of cash games playing huge stakes. you know, half a million, million dollars on the table and stuff like that. But I've seen him play, I don't know if it's Chinese poker or Baccarat or something, but he's playing like hundreds of thousands, millions of dollars. And some of his stories are really entertaining because I guess they pay you that money cash at the hotel, at the casino sometimes, and you've just got to figure out how to get out of there

with it. And he talks about people following him and having to escape with like a backseat with $4 million in it. what do you mean having to get out of there with it i don't understand well the casino paid him is four million dollars cash so he's got a duffel bag in the back of his car with four million dollars in it people watched him just win four million dollars on a casino floor so now there are scary guys following him following his car in their car that's the real way to succeed at gambling you wait just wait i don't know how to win at polka but he does and that's all it matters Whomp him on the way out?

Wamp him. Have you guys seen the 3-I-Atlas fucking interstellar comet thing? Yeah, I've been following that. Are we going to get hit? No. No, we're not going to get hit, but it's the third interstellar object that we've ever seen. It's by far the fastest one. And it has a lot of bizarre, eccentric things that it's doing.

Like, it's off-gassing. It's too far away from the sun to be letting off too much CO2. It's basically like refactoring the way that people understand interstellar comets objects because of how strange it is and how impossible. There's a lot of clickbait and nonsense about it out there. But the most interesting thing is that the perihelion, like the closest point to the sun and the solar system when the comet reaches that point, that's when we can learn the most about what it is, how it interacts with our, you know, and how we understand physics with

with our set of data because everything we view really is based on its relationship with our son. So the perihelion is like the number one most important thing. And when it hits that, it won't be visible. And a lot of people think that it's going to turn. They think it's an alien ship. It's a mother ship that's coming to investigate us. That's what a lot of the theories are.

It, yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it is, they believe that it's older than our solar system. Our solar system is like 4.6 billion years old. They think it's like seven something billion years old based on the direction that it's come. It came from the same direction within a certain percentage point of probability that it could have been what caused the wow signal in 1979, which is that radio frequency. Oh, they explained that away. They figured out what that was. That was like reflected radio traffic or something. Yeah, that's what, that's what it's like there's a lot of these really strange little, but there's this guy, Avi,

Loeb or whatever the fuck his name is a Harvard, Harvard astrophysicist or whatever they call those people. But it's really interesting. I think they're able to take a good look at it using that there's an orbiter around Mars, and I think it'll have a good look at it when it comes pretty close. But when it gets close to our sun, like you said, we're going to be on the opposite side. We won't be able to see it. When you say interstellar object, that just means something out there.

Yeah, it's shot in. It's shooting through our solar system. Ever? Everything around us is orbiting our sun. All the comets, the meteorites, the asteroids, the orc cloud, all that stuff way the fuck out there. Going out to an entire light year away is being gravitationally connected to our sun, and it's part of our solar system.

Solar is the name of the sun is the soul. So the solar system is everything that's in our sun's system. You're telling me now for the first time. Everything's soul. Wow. yeah it's very interesting though um and i think the likelihood that it's aliens uh according to a harvard astrophysicist science guy is like 30% or some shit like that uh that it's artificial what a funny day he's sitting down they're like uh we need you to have your report on your

percentage guesses and he's just like about 30 fucking 30 they're going to push back on that what what number would if I say if I say 31 it sounds like I did some math here instead of going with it

yeah it's going to be aliens I had no idea that why is it those are old because they'd be old it could slow down it could have been going faster and slowed down it's way too slow for generational Like, it's going like 90,000 kilometers per hour or something.

It would take, it would take like 70,000 years to get to the next star at that speed. Be patient. Yeah, that's why there's a, there's like a, I'm not, you said it was explained away with the wow signal thing, but that's why they even thought that that could be a possibility. It's like, in 1979, it was just coming to the fucking edge of our shit where we could measure what it's doing. But yeah, I think it's going like. Like it's going much faster than Amua Mua and Borisov, the other two interstellar objects.

I don't remember how fast. I think it's like 100 some thousand miles per hour. You know how that's crazy. Yeah, it's multiple kilometers. I know that. Let me see. How big it is. Because usually the numbers to do with space stuff are so, I mean, literally astronomical

that when you hear this is the third interstellar object. It's like, that's crazy. either our detection is so much more inferior and like anachronistic than we think it is or we truly are kind of alone. I didn't realize how uncommon it was for things from others solar systems. There's only three.

Only three. That's a lot, Taylor. We're detecting them more now because the tech has gotten better and because they put up better radio telescopes and there's one in Hawaii and one in South America. I think the one in Hawaii detected Oumu Mua, which would explain the name away. We're just gotten better tech and better telescopes and are looking more.

It's not that it's, I think it's rare that interstellar objects happen. And the fact that Atlas is so big is a headstrapter to them because most things, most objects aren't out there aren't that big. So for one, that big to show up is weird. And that big to thread the needle from that point of space to pass so closely by three planets. That's another one of the big like points for

the science people is that it's like kind of threading the needle through our solar system, which is bizarre. Could this be overblown because NASA is trying to cover for the fact that they will not go back to the moon? They will

sooner than 2025. There's a few more months and they live up to their promise. Remember? They pushed it back. They pushed it back. I know. Would I love the no sooner than deadline? I've never been able to give one of those my entire career. It is such a fuck you estimation. Like people are like, we really want to go back to the moon again.

It was pretty neat. And they're like, get fucked. No sooner than 2025. Idiot. Yeah, they need to get off their asses at NASA. Get us back to the moon. Find something neat up there. No more of these fucking amoebas.

No more of these little bullshit. Maybe it's life. Maybe it's not. Lizard or bear. bigger like it's it has to be lizard but you're going to have to pay more tax

lizard or I don't give a fuck because they have gone to this they've gone back to this well so many times it's dry you know what's crazy speaking of lizards slight tangent but we have there's a birdhouse that has been left on my back porch

and a fucking lizard lives in it now he goes in it his name is Bob Mariner Bob Mariner It's not it's not focusing But he's right there on his front porch basking He basks on his front porch We never hung up the bird house

And turns out Lizards will They will just live in stuff Like a bird will And we have a lizard Bob Mariner Is his name And he basks on his front porch Runs inside really fast

Whenever you walk out Whenever you walk out He fucking zips in there He lives in that some bitch And I Your house sounds so whimsical. It's just 10 dogs running around. You've got 12 cows.

You got a little... Six what of quail? Cubby's a quail. I didn't even know that was the unit of measurement. What is a cubby of quail? A little flock of them. Little eight to 12 birds. Cubs of quail.

You put them in to shoot them. Groups of eight to 12 quail? Yeah, yeah. We're not going to shoot them. No, there's a Bob White quail. live in Texas, and we have a natural population on our property, and we're trying to bolster and keep the numbers high because they're amazing, beautiful little birds, and I love them.

You have about 40 of them. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I love quail. And they have, like, we have a recall box that they can, they can stay in and live in. You have a lot of loving you. If there was a spider monkey on your property, you'd be like, oh, I'd figure out.

I'd figure out a way to spend time with it. You'd build an even bigger birdhouse. Exactly. Dude. Yeah, I love animals. Is that not the type of quail you, because I've gone quail hunting, is that not the type of quail you hunt? You could, but I don't, I'll go, I'll hunt doves and stuff like that, but it really just doves. I don't know why. They taste really good, but I'm not a big on shooting quail for some reason. I don't like, I don't like birds that ground birds. I don't know. It's not that fun.

You got to wait for it. It's very unsporting if you're shooting. Quail and pheasant on the ground. You got to give it a chance. Yeah. It just seems unfair because it's like you see them and they're just like little bird creatures and then they make noise and they scatter in all directions.

It's like, man, you guys are, no wonder you're fucking going, you're just being destroyed by coyotes and hawks because you guys can barely live. Do you have attractive cows on your property? I kind of remember you having like show cows. Oh yeah. We've got, at this point, we've got 12.

All right. Last time, I think. think the first time I came on, we had eight, and we've had four babies since then. We have Zibu's, which are little Indian cows. They're like little Brahmin cows. They're very small. We have a full-grown bull that probably weighs 400 pounds, and he's so small, but he's an actual bull, and his name's Gilbert, and he's dumb as fuck. He's nice. He's not nice. He's not very nice. He's an idiot. They're usually a little ornery. Yeah. We have Gary, who's a large Highland. He's a large bull. He looks really good. He's a handsome fellow. Yeah, that's huge for the ones we have. That's gigantic. And we actually, I've never seen a picture of them before, but we had our bull, our Highland Bull breed a Z. That's exactly what Gary looks like. Our Highland Bull bred a Zibu heifer. And we have a Highland Zibu cross. And it's like this giant,

weird looking cow that like it I wish I had a picture of it to show you all but I don't take pictures of anything for some reason so yeah we have Zibu's and highlands and they're awesome and my wife loves it and so do I are you gonna you're gonna munch them eventually

none of these ones we won't now we have we have four more in a different field that will that will probably eat up on wow oh okay cows how much late do you have about 120 acres Oh, yeah. So you could do just about anything you can think of, I guess. You got a sick setup. That's fun. It's awesome, dude.

You got kind of your own little Rob Deerex Fantasy Factory going. We do, yeah. The last time I wasn't on, I've been super busy. We finished a studio, and it's like 4,000 square feet. It's got all these, like, studio fucking recording and shit. It's so cool. We're very, very lucky and fortunate. And, yeah, it's awesome. I love it out here. yeah i know your i know your candy is doing really well too which on multiple occasions i've been like i want to support my buddy caleb and buy some candy but i hate sour candy that's you don't have to eat yeah you don't have to support it sweet candy we have level ones now which have no sour they have no malic acid on them well don't you know calling me like a level one candy it's still good doesn't make it any less good we had pansy candy we had pansy candy we we sell it just

fancy candy that's a better name lock that up fancy candy did you like sour candy as a kid do you like because those

never liked what were those little warheads my dad used to suck on warheads until the sour part went away and then he would spit it out

and I was like this is why I'm so afraid of you coming home mad at me because you play for that's crazy so hard I'd like watch him eat

those and be like you're fucking psychotic because as soon as it turned sweet because that was the reward at the end of the warhead no I want the sourness yeah we got we've released 70 flavors over the last year it's so many flavors I hope you get it's doing very well

we're getting recognition amongst the world of candy people because we're not it is obviously like an influence or brand or whatever but we don't we don't run organic we don't we're not subsisting off of organic ads. We're appealing to people who don't know who we are, who are buying the candy for the purpose of buying the candy because it's good. Because we don't want to

get Mr. Beastified where it's like, if we stop YouTube, you know, I would still like to be able to have a business. So we've been working really hard. Like, that's pretty much all I have been spending time on is just trying to run ads and figure out what people like and listening to feedback and genuinely trying to create like a real business that is not reliant on my my YouTube which it hasn't been since about April of this year but over the last four months it's really gone to another level of success happy for you I've noticed that I'll yeah I'm happy for you as well I'll see it and I'll be like I fucking know that guy I know the sour boys guy this is huge yeah it's awesome what's the name of the brand

it's called sour boys sour boys cool cool yeah yeah Sour. G.G. is our website. If you're a sour candy guy, go buy some of Caleb's fucking sour.g.g. candy. I made the website, too. I did all the, those little tags and everything. That was my, I've been getting into coding over the last couple of years and just trying really hard.

What's that? What are you writing? Right now I'm in, my primary language of choice is C-sharp because it's easy, and I first learned JavaScript to do Minecraft, to do Minecraft mods when I was like a child. And command line stuff, pretty excited about C-sharp mainly,

but Shopify uses Liquid and obviously CSS and some HTML bullshit. I mean, all web easy, super, super, super, super easy. I tried to do a little bit. I tried to write a blueprint for Unreal and C++, and it's just, it doesn't make sense to me and I can't do it. I literally cannot I mean I could probably if I if I really stuck with it but it's too

I feel like an idiot I am an idiot you're in good company yeah yeah I don't know anything about anytime people talk about coding I'm always just like wow I don't know about liquid

that one's new to me so I'm out of practice of course yeah it's a I don't know if it's used outside of Shopify but we switched from a company called fourth wall to Shopify buy to take advantage of their backend and how easy it is to use their API for just marketing and and like meta's algorithm and all that stuff tying everything in and and they

use liquid it's it's it's pretty i mean it's it's it's a good environment it's fun to learn it's very easy and there's an ass load of tutorials which is you know it's how i learn everything right this is in the weeds but which id ed used to code in um i use uh vs code and i've i started using cursor like last month, but I don't like, I don't like Cursor very much. Yeah, BS code. Anyway, good for you. Any, uh, actually I should, we're going to hear from a sponsor real quick. And then I've got another follow of question on this that isn't about coding.

It's about something I actually know. This episode of PKK is brought to you by today's sponsor, Better Help. So let's hear a little about their service. Life is full of twists and turns and it's important for you to show up. for yourself through it all, mental and dental. Got to take care of it all. We're very serious about everyone taking care of their physical health here on PCA and maintaining a healthy physique, but mental health is just as important and you need to work to keep your mind in shape as well as your body. Start getting in the mental reps with the help of a professional over at

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professional. Give it a go and use our code. Save 10%. Betterhelp.com slash P-K-A. B-E-T-T-E-L-P.com slash P-KA. This episode's also brought to you by lock and load, the premium, cremium ejaculation increasing supplement that's been taking the world by storm. Now it's no sour boys, but it's, people are coming. People are coming. They're coming bigger. They're coming harder. They're having better orgasms. And it's all because of me and Kyle texting a lot of ingredients and then leaning on Derek and his team of scientists to find the perfect, efficacious dosages of each of those ingredients. Lock and load. Use code PCA or code Giz. Save 10%. And it doesn't stop there, does it, Kyle? No. It doesn't stop there.

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So check out all our sponsors, folks. Caleb, I wanted to ask you before the ad break, any further inroads into the brick and mortar market into like storefront for Sour Boys? Yes, but no by choice. We definitely have the opportunity. There's a lot of interest on the back end, but it's kind of a, it's kind of like a decision.

You have to decide what you're going to, how you're, are you going to be pillaging or are you going to be getting pillaged? Because if you go into retail, you're going to get pillaged for sure. And you've got to be very lucky. And you have to have a really good product, which I definitely believe we have a very good product.

But the easiest thing to do is to get into retail because we have like the following and everything like that. But it's just so hard, longevity wise um a lot of i mean there isn't that many influencer brands at all there's probably like ten that have made it successfully in retail and lasted more than like three years um and i don't we're not going to be one of the uh corpses we're going to try to get retailers to come to us more we have quite a few but we want like the big ones to come to us um we currently manufacture everything in house as well like in the town that i live in um so we can't uh we can't

manage, you know, like a nationwide, um, retail play in-house. We'd have to find co-manufactures. And that's kind of, there's a lot of, a lot of, um, different decisions. We want to maximize direct consumer, uh, online being able to have no middleman and, and all profit. Everything is just going either back into value for customers or into us expanding our facility. Sure. So try not to get pillage too hard. That makes sense. It's a scam. Retail is so difficult to get into. And then because foot traffic is decreasing and so many people are buying online, your slotting fees, which is like the fee they charge just to introduce you as a stockkeeping unit on the shelf is so absurdly high now because they're trying to, you know, Walmart, Target, CVS, Walgreens, whoever, they're trying to recover their losses to e-commerce that it probably is the better move right now just to stick direct to consumer. That also gives you. more control and then you don't have to worry every quarter about going to a buyer at CVS and explaining to them why you haven't started a constant national advertising campaign that

would cost millions to adequately because what they would do is they'd be like oh really because we slotted you right next to or we would potentially slot you next to these skews of Reese's and do you know what do you know what Hershey's ad spend in that region is it's X Y Z. How do you plan to compete with that? And you'd be like, uh, I can't and don't. And they'll be like, oh, interesting. Well, then we'll have you in for one quarter. And then this will just be a mar on your brand forever that you did get introduced into Walmart and got immediately deleted because you couldn't sustain it with frequent enough ad spend. Yeah, I've got, uh, I've got some stuff cooking that hopefully will be a better retail,

a better retail play. Um, some very secret stuff. That involves protein. when I get samples I'll send it to you guys but but it is it is I think genuinely crazy and I don't think people will believe it when we post it and I don't think they're going to believe the macros and they will not believe that how good it tastes but so that I think will be a good retail play but the candy market is a hundred-year-old thing that is difficult to get into like you're saying and there's billionaire giants who exist and they're going to want to they're going to want to they're not going to make anything new and they just allow companies like sour boys and the stuff

are you know smaller form competitors they grow and then instead of having an rn d team they'll just snipe these little little companies give them a hundred million dollars make a public statement their stock price goes up two percent they made you know one billion off that single announcement insider baseball nonsense uh so no retail for now but definitely eventually one day because of basically what you just said it's it's it's a it's a nightmare yeah it's a nice It sucks. It's so much worse than it. Well, like Amazon is putting the screw, not just Amazon, all e-commerce is putting the screws to brick and mortar retail so hard. Like the same exact feeling all the mom and pop shops felt 40 years ago when Walmart was storming onto the scene is what Walmart and Target and CBS and CBS and Walgreens less so because they have the pharmacy aspect as well. But Walmart and Target are terrified of Amazon. What did you say, Kyle? Amazon does drugs.

They're pharmacy. I didn't even know that. And it seems like lots of people are getting into that market with Cuban and Trump is doing something. I don't even want to look into it. I thought the Cuban thing fell apart. Trump is basically facilitating direct to sale. I'm sorry, direct to consumer sales from pharmaceutical people.

So I think it's Trump.RX, but I'm not positive. And if you go there, you'll find the drugs that you need and it will direct you to the people that sell it to you. So it's not like an Amazon. Isn't he the president? I'm sorry. Isn't he the president? He's not my favorite person. I've talked about that before. But if he does good things, I still like good things. Yeah. And it'd be one of them. Let's watch. Yeah. If this fucks over Big Pharma and like for it allows people to get cheaper drugs, that's good. I just am very hesitant to believe any mainstream politician is going to push back on Big Pharma. Because all of our politicians are 85 year old boomers and they spend all day every day watching Fox News and CNN and the only

people who still run ads on Fox News and CNN are drug companies and so they're they're just getting a feedback loop of silly nonsense I would imagine do you think they should be able to advertise pharmaceuticals the way they do 100% no yeah that's no that's not a good thing I'm not sure as Taylor is and by the way I mean I'm not that doesn't say he's wrong it says I'm not sure because like I feel like too much of prescription drugs are gate-kept away from people. There's a lot of them that I think are pretty benign, like a hair-loss drug or something. Is it Phanastrii? Did I pronounce that right?

Yeah. Oh my God. What a pain in the ass it can be to like go to your primary. I know hymns exists, but let's pretend it doesn't. To go to your primary care physician, to tell them that you want this. Maybe you don't want to talk about this with someone that you see in real life and them to prescribe it. And then you have to keep going back to them. and it's a pain of the ass.

You're like, oh, yeah, here I am again. I've been doing this thing for like nine years now. I want to keep doing it. And they're like, all right,

well, they keep giving me your meetings and then I'll keep re-upping your prescription. And it's like, why the fuck is this so hard? Adderall, people are on that, right?

People are in Adderall for a long, long time. They're not upping their dose. They're not changing their dose. This is just how they live their lives on this, you know, whatever. And why are you making it such a pain in the ass?

Why is there this gatekeeping between what, like, this thing, this routine that you started 12 years ago. And now, why are you making it so hard on everybody? I feel like people can be educated or at least, you know, extending what they've been doing for a while, grandfather in. I don't know.

Stop making it a pain in the ass for people to get their prescription drugs. And these gatekeeping walls are all there with their palm out, getting greased along the way. So advertising, I don't know, finest your eye to balding men, doesn't ring terrible to me. Balding actually in particular is like a, there's a weird culture around it. You know, is my hair thinning?

No, no, your hair's not thinning. It's great. You look like a million bucks. That's what an adult hairline looks like. Bro, your hair is thinning. You're, you have a scared rabbit on your head of receiving airline.

Yeah, but they don't. I don't need them to, I see your point, especially with hair loss stuff and also with things like prep and things like my cold sore medication is the same thing you take for general herpes. So like I want my general herpes medicine. I'll lie and tell you I have general to herpes. I'll get some hickies down there. Right. Lie. Lie. Lie. One breakout, Taylor. Okay. It's not for life. Okay. It's not for life. It was like a cold. It was like a weekend herpes. I know. It's all. I had to look around it

but just services that provide that stuff online things like like hymns like the ability just go on there and take some pictures and send them in and they're like yep yep you're good you're good I get a year's worth of finasteri at a time I love that I also take finasteri and um they should you know what it wasn't that my hair was losing it that it was thinner my hair would give you a splinter if you stepped on it and then it just didn't it wasn't that anymore and I was like now we're nipping this shit in the butt I'm doing it so uh um but like Kyle described his expertise in his cold sore drug I'm there for strep throat I don't know how many times I've had strep throat in my lifetime but I can self-diagnose and get this right I know the difference with it in the sore throat dozens of times if not threatening triple digits over the course of my life maybe that's an exaggeration But enough. And like I needed antibiotics. And I was not in Raleigh, like at a place that had doctors open on the weekends. And I suffered. And I'm like, it is just too freaking hard to get medicine. And I don't, I know broadly prescribed antibiotics great different problems. But I don't know the answer. But I do know that what we're doing isn't it. It's too expensive. There's too many hoops to jump through. Too many gatekeepers. All of them getting their pocket. It's lined.

I know that pharmacy saved your daughter's life. Gatekeepers are a big. You got this. Farmer. Actually, a pharmacist saved me while I was drowning one time. Like, all right, well, you're an outlier. Okay, I think for 99.9% of the rest of us, the pharmacy is that guy who hands you the jar of embarrassing ointment and judges you and then collects some six figure income for

counting pills. The, if there's any job that AI and robots can replace overnight, it's counting how many pills go in a fucking bottle. Every other pill company manages to get this done without some asshole in a lab coat taking 30, 45 fucking minutes, even though I called in my prescription. It's right there in that bag. I saw an internet video where I was, it's one of the few times where I'm cheering for the douchebag. Because he's just like, that's my drugs right there. I could see him in that bag. That's it. Put some money on the, I'm getting them. Oh, I thought it was like, none.

You heard that? I thought he was spinning a cylinder. Yeah, no, you're right. I don't know why the picking up things from the pharmacist's experience is as awful as it is. I can see that they seem to be busy. They seem to be typing away for 35 minutes every time you're there. I don't know what they're doing. Airline tickets is another one.

What are all those fucking keystrokes about? nothing seemingly fucking nothing over there like neo in the matrix I'm going to Albuquerque figure it out we'll type for like a full minute and then be like and what's your name again sweetie so we're not even step one you do this a thousand times a day

why is it not more streamlined than this but here we are no the drug system sucks but and it should be easier to just buy direct like that would save us so much money And it would be so much easier. Mexico's got, you can just buy a direct there. You walk into a place called a pharmacy

and they've just got drugs on the fucking shelf. What do you want? You want some steroids? You want some penicillum? We got that morphine. They've got morphine ampules from World War II. I got morphine ampules from World War II. You can fucking get whatever you want in there.

And in most Western countries, it is illegal to advertise drugs the way we do. And just from a, I guess, a more tertiary standpoint, like do we want Fox, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, do we want them kind of beholdened to these big pharma companies? Because that is what has occurred because so much disparate advertising for other products has diverted into online. But the people who take those drugs are watching news shows. And so that's why they're so dominated by that. And that's why like, you know, when the vaccines were coming out or when any other drug is coming out, like,

all the news stations, whether it's Fox or CNN, kind of lockstep, kind of pushing that ball forward for them. Can you make a really good point? And I value that. But like, Cialis hit the market and then goes on Fox News where all these 65 and ups are watching it. And they tell people about these boner pills, bono pills that could improve your life. And I'm like, I don't hate it.

I don't hate it. You know, what's the alternative? you have to go to the primary care physician that you've been seeing for 18 years now and tell him or her that your dick doesn't work like it once did and you want to help that blows you should be it that does suck right don't have the same rigidity right that would be awful so why not make the public aware of this and then go to like an online doctor frictionless thing and you know type it up and be like yeah used to be like a tent pole and now something less than that.

Yeah, stuff like that. Well, that was a good one. But like stuff like Cialis or like Hymns, I think, is less impactful. What seems more actively damaging is like anti-anxiety, anti-depression medication, marketing itself as like a solution to people who are, you know, probably going through stuff on their life and having a tough time. And then now you're getting people on dangerous, psychoactive. drugs that they otherwise wouldn't have needed to be on. What are you? You're thinking of Christian scientists, by the way. I'm thinking

to Scientologists. They hate psychiatry. Yeah, they hate psychiatry. They don't, they hate drugs. You know, any sort of... Oh, Christian scientists don't take any drugs. Did you know that? I did. That's why James Headstone's mother died. Are they the ones that like often let their kids die of like diabetes and stuff like that? They'd be like in the bed dying of something that a shot fixes and they're like, we're

just going to trust in the Lord. Yeah, the Christian The Christian scientists are that pretty tiny sect where they were, some lady named Mary led them, like Mary something, something. It seems like Caleb knows. That's the opposite of what the Amish do, where they've got the phone at the end of their driveway and the tractor that they owe $1 on the note. So John Deere technically owns their tractor. This is the opposite. They put their money where their mouth is. Their kid is dying of an easily treatable disease.

And they're just like, trusting in the Lord. they also seen that shit where they're like they're like the amish don't have any of these diseases and it's like yeah i'm sure they have lower rates because they're not eating fucking burger king all the time like the testing rate on the omish but also they'll be like the amish don't have any autists in their midst and then i'll watch i'll watch an interview with an amish guy and i'm like this guy's not in the fucking mix like clearly this guy's in the autism war they're This guy's a little Aspergery, but he's just, like, they're all kind of weird. Did you see Theo Vaughn have a real-life Amish kid on his show? Is he a young Amish male? Was the name of the guest? He was like, have one of these Celsius energy drinks. I don't raise you barn.

And the Amish guy seemed so friendly and nice. Were you doing that thing the year away? I forget the name of it. Rum Spring, maybe. Rum Spring. Oh, Rum Springham. He had already done that. He was older than that.

or yeah um but it was a fascinating and funny and like like that guy came off really personable it was like i guess he sort of got this innocence about him because of the homage stuff everything is new to him or at least a lot of things are new to him like just genuine normal life experiences that we have he doesn't have any in 64 stories you know what i mean like he's he's completely out of it like an alien person but he's just genuinely like kind and innocent and like a nice person and it seemed like, it was great. And then Theo's always pretty funny. I mean, none of us are ripping on the Amish.

They seem like nice enough people. I think there's a lot of sexual abuse in those communities. We don't have much Amish here. We have men and I? No. Don't she's slamming Amish. Dude, they're going to be in our comments roasting it. They're closed.

Get back to the plow, Amy. I mean, it's a quick, non-topic thing. Apparently, the comments and last week's PKK all gave me condolences, thinking that my mother had died. She's not dead. I don't know why so many of you were under the impression that my mom died last week, but it's not true. I'm sorry, carry on.

It's a good fact check. If that remember in the bud, quick. I don't know. I feel like I even said last week, like, I know she's listening, but did they think I met like from above? Oh, maybe. Maybe that. I have come from that.

I have no idea. I didn't even put that together. He's looking down on the podcast from New Jersey. If you live in New Jersey, you're hard to move at a certain age. Yeah, is there a state that has like larger percentage of mass exodus to Florida than New Jersey? Because it's almost like a stereotype I hear. New York too, right? And then I think of everyone leaving Michigan for some reason.

I don't know where they go to. But Michigan's draining. state cold as hell up there so it's cold and the uh auto economy is shrinking so it's you know yeah shrinking populations are bad every time i talk to a mechanic about american cars like because i don't know what like came in the last three years i have no idea whether a new transmission even looks like they'll be like ah we make such shitty cars it's all about how shitty gm stuff is about how shitty ford stuff is like specific branch parts of ford i don't hear anything bad about the trucks, but like

everything else. Ford doesn't make any cars anymore. Did you know that? They just make the Mustang. I knew they cut all but like one or two. What the fuck is that? Like that's unprofitable, I guess. And it's like, yeah, I can't believe you're not making escorts, but you won't catch

me buying one. It's not what I want. Yeah. Well, I mean, the Fusion, the Ford Fusion was the, it came out in like 05. I thought it was okay. Yeah, I thought it was all right, you know? there was a sportier model. I don't think it had that CVT transmission in it like the 500 did, which was like the Crown Vic sort of replacement,

which was a, I think was also a mistake. They went to like a boxy, almost Chrysler 300 look for the Ford 500. And nobody even knew what a Ford 500 was. Well, those are pretty cool, though. Oh, yeah, you and every black man in the Midwest agrees.

Yeah, I mean, they've got good taste. They afford 500? I've never heard of that. He had a Chrysler 300. I always like those. Yeah. See?

Two years one, you lose. Caleb Chrysler 300's cooler coolest. I bought one for 800 bucks. It was pretty sick. Oh, fuck, you may have bought mine. I googly it, Kyle. You're right. The Mustang and the mock Mustang are the only cars they make.

Everything else is a truck. And that's an SUV. I think it's so dumb. It's more like a hatch. It's like a Mustang hatchback, but it really looks like an SUV more than anything. It looks like a trim down, like sporty stretched SUV. It looks like shit to me. Every time I see one in a parking garage.

I wish they just... I should have called it anything else. The mock-E. It's called the mock-e if you're going to do anything. But I feel like it diminishes the Mustang brand because it's confusing. If you're not like a gearhead, if you're just a person who buys a new car every 20 years and you don't even look up from your life and have no idea. idea and you saw you saw that Mustang mocky drive by you'd be like oh it turned the Mustang into a

faggot mobile oh that's Ford for you like you wouldn't know that's how I feel about the smaller bronco and there's probably listeners out there in this one but there's two broncos there's the big one which is a dope truck that leaks testosterone as you drive it and then there's the smaller one which looks like every other mom mobile sort of I don't know a crossover SUV type thing. And I'm like, why do these have the same name? I feel like you're... Yeah, it's so dumb. I didn't know there was one. Okay, I'm looking at this now. So

they call it the Ford Bronco Big Bend. Is that the deal? It's new for this year. There's a bunch of trim. I had the... When it first came out, I bought the first edition, I guess, whatever it was. It was like blue or some shit. And then they, right after that, they released, or right before,

they released that dumb mom car one. That what he's talking about, where it's like, Bronco sport. Yeah, Bronco Sport. And it's not, it's dumb. So the Bronco sport is on the same platform as the Escape and the Maverit, which is a super bitchmate platform. The full-size Bronco itself is on the Ranger platform, which I wanted, when I heard about the Bronco being teased like eight years ago or whenever it was, I was like, oh shit. They're going to put it on that F-150 platform. They're making a big boy. Now what we need is though some old school trim packages to make it look like the, no, not like a, like a, Why not? Did they just not want to cash the checks? Would the retail price have been $12,000 extra and it just wouldn't have worked? Like, maybe that.

I don't know. I think these Broncos sports look kind of neat. They're small. Of course you do. It's small. The contrarian of the group. I'm a gay retard who doesn't know anything about cars. I love Kaiso Flee hundred.

I love Kaiso Flee hundred. You think that looks at me. It looks like a little bit of that Land Rover sport, like the little baby land. Rover, it looks kind of like that. Clearly the left one is the much cooler car. Yeah. I think I thought the right one was the left one when I was looking at it because it doesn't have any points of comparison. Just for shits and giggles.

Show us a picture of the slate e-truck with a package that makes it look like the Bronco now because that thing's $20,000 and it's electric. That's the thing I'm excited about. I was thinking about buying the OJ version of it which comes with a waiter's head. I have

priced those many times through the years. Every now and then I watch an OJ documentary or an OJ mini series and I'll be like fuck that Bronco is kind of slick and I'll look up what I think it's a 94 Ford Bronco and White XLT maybe and they're expensive they're like collectors items. You can't insult

the man's style like I mean it was brand new for that year yeah this is what I'm talking about this is a $20,000 truck and it's electric on the left that's ugly as it looks like a car you'd see in like a Pokemon game looks like something you could buy out of Alibaba I wish the wheels were better

Taylor and Caleb just like the whole truck But I'm like if the wheels weren't They look like they're the spare Did it come with four spares? I don't know Dude I just wouldn't even use that To mount a machine gun on the back

This is a brand new $20,000 electric vehicle I think that's amazing $20,000 doesn't buy a lot anymore Well you were raving about that special, it wasn't electric, but it was that Japanese truck that apparently you can't sell here, but it's like the most basic bitch, minimalist. Oh, that's neat too. Yeah, that's cool. And it was like 15 grand or 10, 12 grand, something like that.

Yeah, it roll up, roll up windows and adjust everything manual and adjustable and even the mirrors, like nothing electric at all. One of those didn't even have radio. It's, I think I I like the idea of everything being optional. We would do a thing at the dealership where we would order a Ford Ranger and we would special order a stick shift with rubber floor mats and cloth seats.

I think it had a radio. No, I think we deleted the radio even. It had to have AC and heat. I don't think you could delete that. But just the worst truck imaginable and we would sell it for $9,99. and everybody would show up to buy the $10,000 Ford Ranger

and be like, what the fuck? I need a radio and you've got them right over to the $14,000 Rangers, you know, and you'd sell them one that you could make a profit on. That, I lived that experience. Now I was like 16, only daydreaming about trucks, but I was like, ooh, this isn't bad. This is reasonable, right?

You could almost save up on summer jobs and winter jobs I worked a lot and buy this kind of truck. And then I look at it and I might be wrong or Kyle is, but I remember it only having AM, and I'm like, I really would like FM. What the fuck?

Those FM crystals are expensive. You don't like local talk? It seemed punitive. Like, if you're going to say money, we're going to hurt you with this. It was punitive. That's what they were doing. It's worse. AM is worse than no radio.

Like, all you get now is like emergency broadcast in Scratchy NPR. Right. It's like, oh, man, I can't even hear this station and the other station is like a guy in his basement talking about how he's imminently about to kill his family I don't like this I don't like this I got to roll out I got to eat dinner with my wife thanks so much for coming on man I'm glad that you're doing well I expect more of it I appreciate it yeah maybe next time I'll uh I'll be able to show you

maybe we can maybe we can look at my code base next time oh yeah I want to see the animals really that's the part that I'm yeah that is a lot more fun cool more picks to the animals I'll see you guys. He's a good man. He is. I like Caleb. Always friendly. Always nice.

It's got a lot of animals. I'm jealous of his animal situation. Just sideways throwing out that you have 70 pheasants or whatever the fuck. Like, like seven cuddles of them or something. Seven cuddles of fashions, which are. Did I get the term right? I think you're right.

Yeah. And that's just. a weird bird not to shoot because he said he thought dove tasted delicious and quail is really not a far cry from from dove as far as how it tastes all those little cuddle of pheasant that does not seem to exist two pheasants would be a brace of pheasants a small flock of pheasants would be a convie a group you might call a nide or need i don't know the pronunciation a colorful group of pheasants you'd call a bouquet a covey C-O-V-E-Y is one term for them

Maybe I came close I like that We've been playing a couple of quail That's Yeah that makes sense Yeah I've heard that before Oh well that was the bird he was talking about quail Which is like a little pheasant or a big dove

Hmm I've eaten I've eaten quail and dove I have not eaten pheasant I've eaten duck too All things that we've like shot and eaten I've never gone to the store and bought dove Duck is great You were ripping on duck the other night in our

In our chat I'd rather have fucking Like fast food chicken Than like You know Some dove that you shot out of the sky And then cooked in your kitchen But if you've got some chef at a restaurant

He's going to make a delicious duck breast I'd be down for that Yeah I mean the whole point of the duck Is that it's fatty as hell Compared to the other Fowl because it's a waterfowl so it has that like thick fat layer

because it has to sit in the water all the time and it doesn't want to be chilly I thought their feathers did that for them the fat layer makes sense but I was just always told it was their magical feathers that were somehow waterproof water off a duck's back is a thing I thought they didn't feel the water too much I don't think they do it's probably a combination they've been exaggerating the magic feathers perhaps because just the other night like two nights ago my girlfriend bought a duck from this like butcher like local butcher and it alarmed me because she was like hey you need to take she texted me in the middle of the day Tuesday and was like

you need to take it out and dry it and then set it in the fridge on a like dry baking sheet with just like a loose covering of foil or something on top and you know make sure it's completely dry I'm like all right well I dry chicken wings every week because I make chicken wings at least once a week and so I dry off this duck but when I take it out of the package it's like the the amount of neck length is like alarming like it's it was like a probably foot long neck where the head had been chopped off that was the neck taylor I'm I hate to tell you I see that reaction a lot I know exact I can picture I was like oh it's not going to fit And so, yeah, I got the duck out, drive it off and everything.

And then I felt like she Wednesday night, last night, she cooked it up, made it and everything. And I felt like a retard trying to carve up this duck and get the meat off. Because in my head, I was like, this is going to carve up exactly like a chicken does. Where like you kind of can feel with the knife before you plunge in the joint on the wing and the joint on the leg. and like where exactly you need to carve to get the breast meat off so you don't leave a bunch behind. And I just made a, I just butchered, butchered this duck because I was like trying to carve from the top the way you would a chicken. And I'm like, where? It's all ribs.

Like it's nothing but ribs. I was just slap, slap dash cuts all over the place. It looked more like a stew afterward, the amount that I had chopped up and like they were smaller pieces. But it was great. It was delicious. I love that fatty duck skin, which I can't believe you don't like. No, no, thanks. I don't need to expand my horizons too much further than I already have.

I don't need any new birds, any new waterfowl in my diet. I think I'm good with the balance I've struck. Mostly just turkey and chicken. I don't like carving them up either. I'm not very good at that. That's why I like the turkey. You can just sort of hack it the breast and cut a big wedge out of that and everything's fine. Yeah. Turkey's easy. It's like all meat. Like you can hardly make a bad cut. Ducks just ribs galore. And then like I flipped it onto its bottom side. And I was like, oh, so this is where a lot of the duck meat is on the bottom side. A lot of this like fatty good meat. But learning experience. Learning experience. I saw that Arby's has steak nuggets now. Do you know about this? Good for them.

I'm suspicious. They look great. I haven't ordered them because I'm afraid of them, but they are like square cubes of steak meat. Don't order Arby's to your house, you fucking Philistine. Like, that's absurd. That's crazy. Just drive to Arby's. That's so crazy. Why would I drive there?

They'll bring it straight to me. Because they charge you like fucking 25% extra to bring you now cold beef nuggets. We're eating steak nuggets from Arby's. The sky's the limit, Taylor. I mean, you know, 25 extra. is only going to get us to $15. Look at those. Those look yummy. That doesn't look bad, but that's also, this is the best they could muster.

Actually, what is that? Yeah, this is just a great lid on a log. Yeah. Ouch, seemingly. Okay, real ones. Okay, they look pretty good. The plastic container is taking away from it for me. Well, it's Arby's.

What do you want, a crystal goblet of steak nuggets? I don't know what I want. A plate. I would like toothpicks in each one. That would class it up a little. I'll go to IHop or something and get food on a plate. They have steak nuggets, I think. Ah, they don't have steak nuggets like this at IHop.

Look at that. They got a whole bowl of them there. It's overflowing with steak. That looks pretty good. All right, credit to Arby's. There are no Arby's around here. I can't even try these. I would like a horseradish mayo to dip them in.

Arby's got run out of town in Missouri, the same way the Mormons did years ago because Lyons' Choice came in and stole all their market share now there's the Arby's. Can you find a flattering picture of IHop steak tips? Let me show you what Arby's a whole different meal.

What's the MSRP on these and these steak tips? Let's include that. You're buying steak tips at IHop? Dude, they're shockingly good. I believe you, but that's a funny order. It's been a while. Oh, yum, yum.

By the way, I think this is a picture from, yeah, okay. I've ordered this same meal many times. Can't be too bad. Yeah, it was $9.99 for like the sirloin steak, those garlic mashed potatoes, and that broccoli. And you get delivered for like $12.50. And it was on my like diet plan. So I would order this a lot when I couldn't, when I could be bothered to cook.

IHOP steak tips are good that will probably make you fat I can't imagine that's just steak and potatoes well I mean how many calories are you can order those potatoes without butter

and so it's just potatoes same with the broccoli that's how I would sadly order them yeah mashed potatoes are the riskiest kind of potatoes to order if you're going if you're trying to be

if you're trying to be calorie conscious I mean because sometimes you'll get mashed potatoes served with your steak and it's like you can taste it immediately. It's like this is over half cream and butter. Like they couldn't fool me this way if I just got the baked potato then I'd have a little more control over my situation. So I try to avoid the mashed potatoes because I don't I don't like them any more than roasted potatoes or baked potatoes. I know some people are all about mashed, but it's like, I mean like food that you have to chew is good too. though. Like stuff that you don't have to chew is kind of weird.

No, I like it. I like it. I feel like I pretend like I'm an old person in a retirement home and this is my last meal and it's extra fancy. It's high calorie and it slides down your throat immediately. And so it's like the worst of both worlds. You're not even getting a little bacon in there if you want, but I like mashed potatoes. I've got my, I got a potato riser. You know, it's the big squishy thing that the rice is the potatoes out. They're incredibly smooth. That's one of my favorite things to make is mashed potatoes. Boiling for 12 minutes, mash them. A little cream, little butter, salt pepper. Oh, man. It's good stuff. I like

cubing up the potatoes in small pieces and I roast them with a little olive oil and also garlic and rosemary. I don't like that. And salt, obviously. Rosemary is overrated. I don't care for it. That's wild take. Rosemary's great. I've had enough

rosemary and it's on the steak world. Talking about this I almost said the end word. You're talking about it. And they say those conservative chat rooms were overblown. You see how casually these bigots throw that bandy that word about. It's because it would have been a funny way to phrase it. You're talking about these potatoes you love, but you're not a rosemary man,

which is crazy because rosemary is like the most dovetailed herb. Garlic. More potatoes. Well, I mean, garlic goes to that saying. I put like four times as much garlic as you're supposed to and everything. I love garlic. I want to taste. the garlic. I want to smell the garlic. The house should stink of garlic. I agree. Sounds good.

You can never have too much garlic. I made a pasta yesterday where I took, I made my marinera sauce with like eight cloves of garlic and a 28 ounce can of tomatoes. And then I added ricotta cheese to the sauce and the noodles and turned it into this like creamy marinera sauce that was being so good. I've never thought about using ricotta in that way you mix it in the same way you would with like a lasagna or something like that it's a good cheese. It's a great cheese. It's a cheese I had no experience

with until I was a mangrown. My parents don't know what ricotta cheese is. No. No, I bet my I've been my grandparents aren't familiar with like ricotta cheese either. I didn't know what cottage cheese was until I was like 30. Cottage cheese is my least favorite kind of cheese. Is it really even a cheese? Isn't it just like like some sort of weird, chunky yogurt? It's just like, every time I've had cottage cheese, I'm like, this is worse Greek yogurt.

I'd rather just have Greek yogurt if I'm going to be eating this. Yeah, I don't want any cottage cheese in my life. And even the Greek yogurt, that kind that has a little flavor in it, the stevia, not stevia, no, I think it is stevia. The oikos, like stevia-flavored vanilla Greek yogurt, that's the way to do it. You can't eat that kind of Greek yogurt and then go back to plain Greek yogurt. because you're like, this is the most boring thing of all time. There was a study that came out about stevia recently.

Apparently, men who use stevia regularly, it makes their monoxidil hair loss treatment, like 90% more effective for some reason. Somehow those two things work together to prevent hair loss. Interesting. If I just start going bald, I think I'm just going to let it happen. But that's an easy thing to say because when the, you know when the invaders are at the gate it's probably more difficult to stay stoic

because like I bet if I did start thinning rapidly I'd be like something's gonna stop because that would suck you know like do you ever like feel your head and you're like is that is that a bump or an irregularity I couldn't be bald oh yeah oh yeah my head's all wonky I've got some scars on my head and it feels like it feels misshapened it feels Mishafin when I like rub the crown of my head it's like oh there's a lot of lumps back here what is this protrusion in the middle what am I a dinosaur like an iguana don I got that crest coming out of the back I feel the back of my head and I'm like this is a lot of ridges is this going to look good you ever see you ever see a really fat black guy how their neck has

those multiple rolls in the back I'll never forget we're at a ryan's steakhouse we were in the line where you uh you like get your food straight from the the the uh the kitchen or whatever and there was this fat black guy in front of me and that was the first time i'd ever seen fat black guy neck rolls and i was captivated i was just like mom mom what's going what is that what's what is that he's just stop it he's got fat black neck Fat blackneck Don't pour it out It's just fat black neck

I don't poke it anymore It's Yeah that is because fat whitenecks Don't look as good They don't roll up like that They just sort of melt down Like a collapsing like hillside Yes

They form a big head heavy base that sort of heads up to like the caldera of their skull and it's really got to but black people that they get those multiple sets of roles

and it's almost like I feel like if aliens captured an old black man they would they would be like beep bloop but in they'd be translated they'd be like you can count the rolls

and you can tell how old they are that's what what the alien scientists would think of us that wouldn't be a bad theory if you're like day one alien like perhaps it is the neck fat I don't know why they're robots but

that's how it would go you know yeah white people they get super fat and they kind of just become have you seen that body where it's like this is what it would take to survive a car crash white people get that kind of fat where you just look fucking

you're just a Michelin man yeah the pot belly confuses me like it are they just puffing out the belly because I could do like a temporary pot bag no it's just all there is it like hard what does it touch if you touch it is on older dudes

it gets hard for sure I don't know how I know that but I do it gets hard you get I think I've seen like I've seen people poke it before on the internet and then talk about how fat how hard those old fat man bellies get but what you're talking about I think in particular

is the men who get just the pot belly. Like, I, and people say that's from drinking alcohol. I don't know why one source of calories would be different from another, but I've seen that. My dad has a friend, Ronnie, and Ronnie does drink too many michelope lights, for one thing. It just switched to heavy beer. What's your point?

You're drinking 20 a day. But his eating probably isn't great also. It's true. Well, he's skinny everywhere except for his belly. And his belly is just this round protrusion. Like a, like if you've ever seen a pregnant woman who's, kind of fit she hasn't she hasn't played into that need to gain

87 fucking pounds like propaganda that the Hollywood Jews have been spreading she hasn't played into so true preach they're fattening our women it's propaganda it's so we breathe less

I don't know if there's a funnier thing to lay at the feet of the Jews of all the things they're trying to make the goreya fat people so that the goyam is that what it is that what it is that what it is or the goya no goya is the brand of beans that was like we like trump and then all these idiots bought the beans oh yeah but i got some of those goia beans they last for years not idiots they're trying to fatten up the goyam women so that we won't want to breed with them and they'll be less of us so they can conquer us in the end times this is about weakening us from the

inside Woody this is an instance where you need to trust the science because I trust he's well researched I got a discord group you need to join they'll learn you up on this stuff and get you up speed yep

got a little rough you know the young anti-Semites I think I'm young enough okay that blew me away Woody where you were like do you know how old

the young Republicans are allowed and if you would have like quizzed me for money on that I would have been like oh 18 to 24

And Woody's like, no, it's up to 40. And it's like, that's almost an admission that you're losing. If you have to keep members in a young group until they're 40, it's like, what is the, is the turnover so little? I saw it as an admission of how old people in politics are. Like 40, you're, you're halfway there. Just see Mitch McConnell fall today? This goes till 80. You see Mitch McConnell fall today?

Do you see Mitch McConnell fall today? only in photos I didn't see video dude I've watched it six times his secret service agent fucking tripped him

that's what happened like his secret service not on purpose he didn't stick his leg out like a third grader like there was a banister or a wall

something jutting out from the wall that he kind of had to navigate around as he was being harassed by a journalist like over his left shoulder

and his secret service agent was kind of between the camera and Mitch from our point of view and as he's like going around that thing he steps on like the guy's foot and trips himself and the guy's holding Mitch's arm but I don't know he like didn't want to like

I can imagine if I was holding Mitch McConnell's arm and he went to fall he's 83 and being afraid to like jerk him up the same way you might like like if I'm holding if me and you are now navigating something precarious and you go to fall. I'm giving you all my strength and I'm jerking you up so that you don't bust your face. But am I going to rip Mitch's shoulder out

if I really give him a tug with enough speed and power to keep him from hitting the ground? I'm basically got to catch his body weight. You should have been ready for that. He was wearing hiking shoes. I noticed that. And you must have seen a different angle than I did because I just linked the one I saw.

I don't see him step on his handler. foot. Maybe he did. It was a little below front. Maybe. Enhance. Maybe he did. Yeah, yeah, right here. Yeah, he's like bumping into him. I don't know. I see it. I thought he saw himself

falling and reached out before he fell. He's old. Do you see more? No, no, no. I saw exactly what you said. I was watching it again, but he did kind of grasp at the arm. Like, I'm going down and asking for help, sort of, yeah.

Either way, this is fucking ludicrous. Like, in a serious country, people would immediately be like, yeah, this guy's out. Like, no, no, you're out. No, sorry. I don't mind that he falls. Like, I don't need a leader who can walk. He's 102. Fuck him.

He's 83. And he's a spry. He's a spry. You saw him pop right back up, you know? Look, when I see my quarterback getting a hard hit and he goes down, you know, what I appreciate the most is when he popped. right the fuck up and he looks at defensemen he's like good hit and he actually it didn't fucking hurt a bit that's what Mitch McConnell did that's the kind of

politician we need in Washington standing up he's standing up for you and me the same way he didn't even stand up himself isn't even standing for himself and also if you're gonna wear shoes from fucking R EI know how to not about look it's like Rocky Balboa said it's not about how many times you get knocked down it's that you get up Taylor okay now mid I would be more concerned with his more senior moments where his You're referencing movies he's never heard of. I've heard of them.

He's never seen Rocky. No, I have not. Forget the sequels. I get if you didn't watch Rocky 5 like me. It's not a guy. I want to watch some fucking greased up Wop in Philly beat people up. No, thank you.

That's racist. Okay, let's tone that down. Okay, the Italian people are a great and proud group of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it Taylor Italian? It's like black people. using the end word. He's allowed to use the

Midwesterners Italian. Get out of it. If you're not from Jersey, you're not Italian. Because you like pizza and you have dark hair. You're not a Siciliano or some shit. Not even close. It was the plurality on my brothers, 23 and me, not the majority. I was a mutt. It just happened to be

that of the mutt, Italian was the biggest chunk. It's hard to be more white than me. It really is. It was like, it's like Ireland and England and a little bit of Scandinavian. Like, I guess full Scandinavian might be as white as it gets. Like, those are like the pale, blonde-haired, like, princesses. Yeah, like six-four. Yeah, that's the master group of people.

I don't know, I don't know another word for a group of people. But, but, yeah, it's hard to get much more white than me. I want to see what Chis is, 23 and me says, because I got a feeling he's a little too swarthy. He totally, to be in a discord server with us. We talked about it. Yeah. See, but what kind of Spaniard are you? You know?

I'm not. I defend Chis here. There's nothing wrong with your brother or yourself sending off your deal. I think he's got a little bit of Moorish influence. It turns out that you're mostly Southern European. Nothing wrong with that. I think he's got some Moorish miscegenation in his heritage is all I'm saying. I don't know because he bullies me for that.

And it's like, bro, I'm. Your hair's way straighter than this. My hair is? Yeah, your hair's straight. Yeah. Oh, it gets wavy when it's longer, but I agree that I'm definitely less worthy than Chis, probably. If I were ice and I saw Chis hitting up Starbucks, I would be like, sir, can I see this papers? Let me see this papers.

Oh, yeah. But I've also, I've got Accutane privilege. See, that would be an asterisk on your passport if you were trying to apply for citizenship, you're a civilian and you want to be a citizen, you would have to serve two years in the armed forces or there'd be some other rigorous way to like do it through bookwork. I think that there should be a loophole or an outlet there. But I would definitely put an asterisk on there for that for sure. Yeah. And that's fair. Because my younger brother is like three shades darker than me. Asterisk. Race thief. He had. My younger brother got on Accutane too, but he

didn't need it and so he never took it and so he didn't get all those side effects i remember the back of the acutane package had pictures of like pregnant women with the most bold like no sign around it like don't take this if you're pregnant and at the time i was like but it's fine for 11 year old me we take this powerful our modern world has our modern world and the products that we interact with is just average consumers has been like kid proof to the extent that we really don't see any labels that say, like, poison. Like, I get the drain cleaners poison, but I bet they've even done something to drain cleaner to make it less poisonous than it was than what the drain cleaner in the 50s was or whatever.

Everything's like that to some extent, but I ordered benzene from a chemistry thing online to add to my flamethrower to make napalm. Benzine isn't in gasoline anymore. It used to be. It causes cancer and birth defects. It's extremely dangerous chemical. It came in a glass brown bottle. a cartoon with the skull and crossbones on it and like scary, scary warnings about like

even a minor inhalation, you may not immediately see symptoms, but definitely go to an emergency like health provider just on and on and on. And I was like, we have to mix this with five gallons of gasoline and then start dissolving. I got the Starphone peanuts and like you could buy like 150 gallons of them, which sounds like a lot, but it's just a huge plastic bag of them. We melted all. It ate it all. As soon as you would drop a star foam

like peanut in there, it would just like that raccoon like cleaning his fucking cotton candy. I was like, oh, we need somebody to mix this benzene and then dissolve all the star foam into it. Jeremy? Jeremy, come here

for a minute. I was so afraid of that shit. I was so afraid of that. You made Jeremy do it? Yeah, Jeremy did the dangerous jobs. I mean, outside of blowing things up. There was one time when we had to pour molten lead into the base of something, and we had like 30 pounds of liquid lead

and it had to be poured. I was like, man, there's definitely some sort of lead fumes, right? Like, does that exist? It does. Jeremy? He'll be okay. He's still good.

He'll be fine. He'll bounce back. Yeah. I keep telling to join ice. I think he got a divorce from his wife. I don't know how many kids they have. Somewhere between three and seven. That came out of the blue. I didn't see that coming.

Oh, we all saw that coming. Yeah. You know it sounds like a match made in heaven. I haven't gone to a lot of weddings, so I don't have a great barometer for this sort of thing. But I think getting married at a public park without notifying anyone is a little quite trash. No one was notified?

They just went into a park and got married, and it wasn't even a nice park, and I was the best dress person there. Watch your step. I was the only one with a tie on Taylor. It's so fucking. Just showing up at the park one day and being like, time to do it. It was a cowboy. It was a cowboy wedding.

All of the groomsmen wore blue jeans, mismatched button-up shirts and cowboy hats. We are in Georgia. We are not Western. We are country. And these fuckers cannot wrap their heads around that. All these rednecks grow up with this cowboy fantasy.

Because you don't want to be Cletus when you grow up, but you might want to be John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. And somehow they think because country and Western are a joint music venture that it works with cultures as well. It doesn't. It doesn't. I remember seeing my cousin wear this big rodeo belt buckle and his, he had a nice, like, Stetson, maybe makes hat.

Yeah, those are the fancy hats, yeah. And my, I remember telling my dad, I was like, you know, that hat costs $450. And that belt buckle costs $800. He's like, what kind of fucking cowboy does he think he is? He ain't got no cows. He ain't no boy. He's never rode a horse in his life. It's just like, yeah, I don't get it.

I don't get it. I've never understood that. Like, I mean, I guess I wanted to be Clint Eastwood when I grew up, but not so bad. I cosplayed at him. As him in my day-to-day life. Yeah, not in your 30s. Dressing up like, because I,

like, I'm in the same situation. Like, my grandparents are not Western, their country. And if any of my grandpa's friends would have showed up like wearing a cowboy hat at all, he would have been mocked.

Like, who the hell do you think you are? Oh, look at John Wayne over here. How's your head? Like, just, that's just not their culture whatsoever.

That's like, there are a baseball cap, except, with that like truck I guess trucker cap and then flannel jeans boots not cowboy boots regular boots and then yeah work boots and my grandpa always loves every single Christmas and I know it's just like a grandpa like doesn't want to think about what he wants because he doesn't need anything he always asks for like one of those puffer vests like a Columbia puffer vest that he can wear over flannel when he's like outside doing stuff and he he just loves those

he'll tell me out of nowhere he'll be like that Columbia vest you got me last year it's great I like it way more than the previous few years this because he's on a fucking eight year streak of vests for me I'm going to send my dad one's vest now that's a good gift idea I always send him winter stuff they won't buy it for himself he had never had socks that fit until I ordered him extra extra large socks he wears a size 13 boot he was like I can't believe it these socks fit I just thought they were always supposed to cut off circulation to my feet 13 is not a big shoe size that's like pretty normal even if you but see like socks I'm a big side of normal right large socks are 14 is where I think of like way too because I

were 13s and I can find shoes pretty much everywhere but the problem is the socks because socks go from 8 to 12 socks socks sizes say 8 to 12 and it's like even as a 12 like socks like socks always hurt me before I started ordering like socks that are 13 to 15 socks like or 12 to 15 or whatever it is. It's like, oh my God, this is so much better. Like, I would, I would take my socks off at the end of the day and the, between my ankle and my shin, like my lower shin, would have the indents of the sock into my skin as I peeled them off. And I'm like rubbing the hairs that have been like screaming all day. Let us out. Let us out. Yeah. It's a great feeling. That's why you got to get a darn tough socks. Have you bought any? No. I don't know about darn tough socks.

darn tough is one of those brands that has a cult like following maybe cart heart leathermen there are a few others and um i got it because i ride them i ride motorcycles and it's nice to have like super high quality socks if you're going to do something like that all day long and now they're the socks i bust out when i'm doing something really cool like motorcycles or something that really sucks and i want to make my day a little nicer you know like we're putting furniture in a dumpster this morning you know what I'm wearing the good socks and they come with a lifetime warranty too that apparently gets really like honored like if you manage to wear out those socks they'll replace them they did a like sweepstakes where they gave you a lifetime supply of darn cuff socks I'm like that's pretty dope until you realized it was seven pair they're like that's all you need

seven pair they'll never run out oh okay I like it these are expensive they must be high quality How much are they now? It's been a few years. They're all between $24 and $26 a pair, but they all have, like, damn near five-star rating. What are they made up? Marino wool. That's what I was going to say.

That's what expensive socks are made up. I have cold weather socks that are marino wool, and I remember them being expensive, so expensive that I have never lost that pair of socks. Like, whenever I bought that, I went shopping for that Killington trip to Vermont, because I thought I'd be skiing. And I was like, well, I need ski. gear. I'm gonna, thank God, I didn't buy skis. It's so funny thing to do your first time skiing. I need skis. I didn't buy skis, thank God, but I bought, I didn't want to look goofy on the slopes. And so I like, I got like good stuff, like like from head to toe, every everything. And I know I've still got those socks because they were probably something like what you're talking about, some 25, $30 pair of

socks. But yeah, I don't have to worry about not looking too silly on the ski slopes because what I learned going is sometimes the silliest dress person is like the best at it by far and they're being like ironic. Like I saw a guy and you know those like inflatable animal wear that some people wear for Halloween. And he was like, yeah, Antifa.

The dastardly communist. He basically was like dressed like a T-Rex. And it didn't even play because immediately you're going so fast that it's just a weird looking cape. because you're just in this thing and he was like the best person on the mountain that I saw and meanwhile you see these people in like these custom uh you could tell who is like really into it because their ski poles and their skis and their outfit would all be the same color combination and sometimes those guys sucked and it would be like what are you even doing

here like some dude wearing jeans with rented skis just blew past you you must feel humiliated like a king of the mountain like speed racer I remember if you've never worn jean skiing it's a terrible terrible idea they get soaked they get kind of covered in snow etc so if you wore jeans you either had no idea what you were doing or you knew exactly what you were doing and it was neat to see people like you just don't expect to fall today that's that's an option on the menu? Oh yeah. One fall in jeans day ruined. Like you're just wet. It's never going to dry. Stand out there for four days. It's not going to dry. You're just going to have frozen blue denim on your skin for the rest of the day. Yeah. That's how like a weightlifting is too. I've noticed is people only wear jeans if they

have no fucking clue what they're doing or if they're like a master at it. Like you'll see like juji mufu lifting and like those flex jeans. And it's like, well, I mean, this guy's body is kind of his resume and I trust he knows exactly what the fuck he's doing here because he's a yoga pants. Those barbell jeans are so stretchy. I don't, I didn't do this often, but I did take pictures of that one guy when I was at the gym and send him to y'all because he was like 60 and I think he was wearing a cowboy hat, but he was definitely wearing cowboy boots and tight jeans with a belt buckle at the gym. And he was just, all he kept talking about was like, while he watched me lift, he was like, oh, that's a good bitch you lift

there, I used to lift this much more. And it was like, everything I did, that's all he had to say. It was like, oh, yeah, when I was on the circuit, I was lifting three, four hundred pounds over my head. And it was just, he was such a weird guy. And you're doing this like three in the morning. And so it's another three in the morning guy. This was my super rare like afternoon workout where like for whatever reason I hadn't been able to do a three a.m. workout. This was one of the very rare times where I went during the day when it was crowded and I hated that I hated being there when it was like I don't know like rustling through groups of people and worrying about I don't want anybody waiting on me like I don't sit there on my phone and goof around but what I'm doing might

take a long time I might do five sets and I might decide to do a super set and I might decide to sit here and like wait for a minute and catch my breath and just not want to get the fuck out of your way immediately I hate sharing anything with anybody go Going back to the ski clothes, I think I have a phobia about showing up somewhere and not having the stuff you need. It's almost like one of those high school nightmares you'd have about showing up unprepared. You didn't study for this test or you didn't even know, you didn't take this class all year and now it's midterms. And maybe you could pass the midterm and not failed this whole grade. You're going to get left back.

But I have this phobia about showing up to like, I don't know, baseball and not having a glove or not having the right glove. or not having my cleats or something like that and that extends to every like hobby i've ever had i don't want to show up and i at least want to have the right shit i don't want to be that guy who shows up with the wrong thing i'm at i'm in california i forget what i was doing there and kyle's like hey instead of flying straight home why don't you meet me in arkansas or something for this shooting thing that we're doing and i'm like i don't know like and maybe i was talking to kitty. She's like, this isn't really the kind of thing you turn down. This is dope. And that was

what I needed to hear. I'm like, all right, I'm in. I'll go there and set of home. It's expensive to do it for everybody, not us. Right. I only got to do it. How much? 50. Right? You say yes when someone gives you that chance. And I show up and I'm wearing

like Woody's Gamer Tag plaid shorts. Everyone else is dressed like a paramilitary operator. They have holsters on their thighs, like all the right. stuff and and I just totally didn't fit in but I had my redemption now I wasn't a good shot all day long but the first thing we did is they gave us this clock and we shot like dinner plate size things in competition and I had never shot at plates like this before I had no idea and I'm

like do I need to hit it at the top to make it fall down or should I just like aim at the middle I'm asking where on the plate I need to place my shot and the instructors like Like just hit the plate. And I'm like, okay. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. Like eight shots, eight plates. All of them fall. And there is an audible reaction.

Like, oh. You know, like I get, I didn't shoot that. Sadly, I didn't keep the performance up all day. Planned shorts, flip-flop guy has game. Yeah. Because I'm just imagining flip-flops because I know you're a flip-flop guy. Is that what you were also wearing? I don't think I had flip-flops.

But it was like my uniform. at the time. Yeah. It's so funny you say plaid shorts because like in my mind I can I can picture plaid short Woody. Yeah, right. That's the version of me that showed up. He always had them on.

He had a different pair every time we'd see him and it was like I didn't think I didn't think anything of it. I was just like, man's got some plaid shorts. He loves plaid shorts. He loves them. Yeah, I don't want to show any up anywhere without the right gear. If you ever went skiing, we would guide you.

See, it's not that. My ankles are shaped funny, or I've got like, like, my legs are crooked or something. Like something puts an enormous amount. I'm serious. Something puts an enormous amount of pressure on my ski boots. My legs are crooked. They are. They are crooked.

The knees go in. And then I think because of that, like the ankles, like, have more pressure or something. Or they jut out more? I think my ankles are shaped differently than yours. I think they jut out more. And the bone is just. I don't doubt it. I've got powerful ankles. Mine are huge. You've got

little bitchmate ankles that would break it. I don't know. You've got fucking Walt Jr. legs over there. I think I do. I really do. Damn, why can't we go skiing? Walking to the fucking table. I think maybe

and inside those skis, it was just the most excruciating pain. It felt like bone on like steel. Just like my kneecap was just grinding. My ankles were grinding. those things. You need thick, nice socks. I was wearing them. I had those socks on. You know what he actually needs a snowboard. And with a snowboard, you typically wear your own comfortable boots. You know, they're not like, at least when I did it, like, you wore boots that

you may already have. Yeah. They said you could just put on some Timberlands and strap into the, the snowboard, and you're good to go. So that's what I've always said I would do if I ever go skiing, but I have no intentions to do that. You're just limited by speed in a big way. Like it's, it wouldn't be fun to be the lone snowboarder in a group of skiers because skiers goes to your trin. See, I want it to bogg him. I want us to get some sleds. I want us to go down this hill like all of us to pile into a big long, old-timey sled and go down. You would get your little fun, but is there any way to control it to bogging? No, that's what I'm saying. You've got those reins on it. You pull left and right and you steer. Why are we listening to a Georgian about

sledding? I know how to talk it. All right. You would get to the top of that mountain And you would realize how much bigger this was than what you were imagining And you would not want to hop on that little fucking waxed shell It ends in one way 47 miles an hour into a pine tree It's exactly what I said To steer a toboggan, you use your body weight

And your feet to make turns And if your toboggan has a steering rope You pull it to assist This isn't a video game when you're skiing There's a lot of other people on this float You need to be Kyle, just so you know, Taylor and I have sled on toboggins, and you just Googled it. I'm virtually a toboganeer at this point from what I just read.

We have skied infinitely more times than you. I used to go sledding all the time. Stokes Hill, Google it, bitch. Oh, I bet you own your own toboggin, don't. I don't think so. I don't think so. Mine's called Speed Demon. Yeah.

Does your toboggin have a name? Mine did. But I had a toboggan. you did, your own tobogging. I had so many different kinds of slits. After fencing class, you hopped on your old toboggan. How do you... You're going to hit one mogul in your tobogun and be on the news.

Elon Musk or what kind of mogul we're talking about here? I mean, maybe a, maybe a knock out of Soros. Maybe you knock out of Soros. Maybe you knock out of Musk. Who's to say? That's what they have them do. They have them standing in different. I would welcome that. See, you say that like, I'm not up for a rough ride.

I would love it if we hit a. a mogul and went flying through the fucking air and crashed into the snow. That'd be great. I welcome that adventure. It's not as soft as you're imagining. This isn't a Peanuts cartoon where you gently fluffed down

into the soft snow. A million people have already seen it and you're going to hit what becomes ice. It's just like that whitewater rafting trip me and me and Woody and Chis went on. I had a great time. The fellowship was fun. It was good to be there with the boys

but it was like, man, I wish this had been a little scary. I wish when Chis fell in we didn't know if he was going to live or not you know what I mean? Like I was when we got him back in we were all like Thank God! That God! Chis! We were like hugged you.

The rapids that threw Chis out of the boat were good, I thought. You know, not extreme, but they were good. But they made a 5% of the journey. But I wanted five hours of that, not 30. I wanted to be sore and beat and worn out at the end and soaking wet and like, we got through there.

Oh, I don't know. This circuitously got us there. but I re-watched deliverance with my girlfriend this week. I hadn't seen it. I was 14, and it was on daytime. It's a good girlfriend. He did not know what was coming.

She had no idea what was coming. I was regaling her with my stories about Bert Reynolds and his wet suit with the cutoff sleeves and how he'd worked out. And we were having a good time. And she was like, man, they just really keep ripping on Ned Beatty,

huh? They're mean to that guy. Because Bert Reynolds was like, watch his next, watch out for these next rapids, Fatty. How you go, Fattie? Yeah, yeah. get after it fatty now get your nose out of them rocks fatty and i was like damn he really is being

mean to ned betty i didn't remember all this and then we get to the rape scene that's sort of like building and she's like what what are they going to what are they doing to him and get your panties off what are they stripping all the ham and then she's like they're not going to rape they're not going to rape that baby are they and i'm like i don't know i've never seen this before I don't think she loved it, but she didn't think it was... I don't think she loved it. It's a difficult movie to love. I think it's great.

And I think it's a good example of what we're talking about last week, how Get Out doesn't appeal to us as much because we're not black, and we can't put ourselves in the headspace of how scary and weird that would be to be in that scenario as a black man that's being portrayed. I think it might be the same thing with, like, male-on-male rape at the point of a shotgun in the Georgia woods. Like, that's rough. I'm real scared of that.

That is a 9 out of 10 disaster. 10 out of 10 is like the centibytes from Hellraiser getting you. You haven't seen that. I've seen Hellraiser. Oh, good for you. I've actually seen all the Hellraiser's. Good, great. All right.

You could have stopped after two. But in any case, I think she was just like, she wasn't, she didn't, to me, I'm scared when I'm watching that movie. I'm like, God, I hope they don't rape them again. And I'm putting myself in each character's shoe sequentially, like, I definitely don't want to be Ned Beatty. He got it the worst. And there's that moment where they're deciding where they hide the body or not.

And Ned's like, well, it, it suit me just fine if nobody ever heard about none of this. Yeah. And he's immediately in cover up, bury the body mode. Like, I'd shoot me just fine. If nobody ever heard nothing about none of this, boys. Poor Ned Beatty. It's been a long time since I've seen it down low. But I do this thing.

where I'm like, here's what I would do if I was this guy. Here's what I would do if I was that guy. And it's like, they're in a real pickle. It wasn't like any of them could have just done X, Y. And like, why didn't you? Oh, my God. I was nothing to be done. They're immediately like in a 2V2 and one of them's got a shotgun and the other one's got a

knife. And like they immediately, the first thing they do is they restrain John Voight. They like strap his neck to a tree with his own belt. And they make him get into that position at like knife point. and then they're making Ned Vady strip by cutting John voice like fuck all right don't cut my friend yeah I'll get my pants up what's this all about

you want money our cars back up the road what do you boys even want you know I would have picked up what they were laying down way sooner in that transaction where they're like hey take your hey bring that soft ass boy over here take his pants up when they like

put the guy to the tree at knife point belt neck on tree I might not have Maybe I would have been concerned about rape But I might not have been my first Suspicion Yeah it wasn't evident that rape was coming

At that point It quickly like devolves And it's like oh I see where this is going This is rough But yeah I think that's a good example of her not She didn't think it was a thriller And she wasn't like The whole movie I'm anxious for these guys

You know I'm we gotta get the fuck out of here And it's a little extra I think that river that you and I went down Is that river I'm like 80% sure it's the same river because it's in like Raven County Georgia

like that's the same area I think we were on a higher point of it than maybe they're filming in in the movie but that's that's my neck of the woods that's north Georgia hill people I've never seen anybody like that though I've been up in there I've never seen any any slope headed toothless rapists or anything

yeah the banjo scene where they played like guitar and banjo what it was doing banjos That was early in the movie, right? Right at the beginning. Okay. I guess the bad guys were scoping them out from that point, perhaps? That's different bad guys. That's a different group of guys.

I think they were related. I know that the deputy sheriff of the town who's later investigating them and blames them, his brother-in-law was one of the guys that they had killed. But I don't think it's any of the original like three or four guys that are hanging around with that banjo kid. Um, we've talked about it before, but that is not that clearly retarded child playing the banjo. They just have a guy reach through sleeves of like a fake thing and play the shit out of a banjo. But I think the guy who actually played the band, I'm a little confused on this because of what I just said, but it's either the kid who can't be the retarded kid. I think it's the guy who actually played the banjo is still up there in Raven County.

And there was some big fun razor online to help him out recently. He was dead to cute and sick or something like that. I don't know, I just came to my head. We've been playing a shitload of Battlefield 6. I know it's definitely not your cup of tea these days. Lately, yeah. Yeah, but it's way better than previous battlefields that I've played, and I'm really enjoying it.

The vehicle combat has me hooks. Like, if I get annoyed by losing gunfights or whatever with my M4, just running around the battlefield, it's like, let's get a tank. That'll sweeten things up. And me and Midi are quite the duo with the tank. I play a class that's built to support the tank so every time he gets shot I jump out of the tank

and I start repairing the fuck out of the tank and you can see the tank's Is it called engineer? Yeah and people will be just like rocket, rocket, rocket, rocket and I'm just grinding on the side of the tank just patching it back up just over and over and over and we're super annoying

But when you're with your gun do you feel helpless against the vehicles That was one issue I had Yeah, oh yeah if you don't You are helpful against the vehicles. If you're not the engineer class that has rockets, then you get shit on by good vehicle play. Like right now, the thing is the helicopters, they're so strong. I can fly the helicopter well enough to like, I can fly it. These guys who are good pilots,

they must be sitting there in VR goggles with a full setup and a fan blowing in their face. They are flying this helicopter like something out of an action movie. It looks like CGI. They are, When people get radar locks on them, they are flying through canyons like Star Wars, like in and out of trees and then immediately back and over. They're pod racing? They're pod racing. And it's like a modern warfare two level chopper gunner that doesn't go away until you die. Does it take a lot of talent to shoot out of the helicopter?

Yeah, especially if you're the pilot because you're multitasking. And so you might be guiding an aim like wire guided missile while you're flying and ducking dodging and even in the chopper gunner position it's i don't know it's it's not easy easy but it's pretty easy i i've been lucky enough to gone for a ride with good pilots before just by the luck of the draw and it's like oh my god this is cheating like you don't die you go the whole match you end up going like 50 and zero with 35 assists or something like because you've just been making laps running a train how far are you from being that guy like with oh so far it's hard to even like get the helicopter because

everybody wants it and they're spamming to spawn into it a lot of the times and they're hard scoping it so just getting in one is hard um but i'm okay i've been i've been training on the helicopter for about an hour a day and a private server just flying a laps around the map and trying to understand the controls um i'm okay at it but they're so good at it it's it's shocking it when they're so good they can uh avoid all the anti-air they really do just dominate the game like it's just a loss for the other team. Is there no reason for you to even get great at it? Because I think you said Vavity was like excellent. Mitty's pretty well I don't think any of us have had enough time in the, in the helicopter to be decent at it, but we're good in the tank. Like we fuck shit up in the tanks

because I repair the tanks and I've got rockets too. So whenever we get into a tank battle, I immediately jump out of our tank and get off of my like machine. I'll have a machine gun or grenade launcher and Mitty has the main gun. And I'll immediately jump out and use my RPG to wound the enemy tank so he's already at a deficit and so when we're trading back and forth, if I'm shooting rockets and repairing midi and he's in a tank fight, he's going to win

like 90% of the time as long as they don't but what you'll see is there'll be four engineers behind the enemy all grinding, charging that thing up so you'll shoot half its HP away and then it's me like all the way back to the pool. It's really fun way to play the game. I just

want to help and then playing the other support class where you've got the defibrillator, I love running around everybody back to life. There'll be eight guys laid out all dead screaming and help me and I'm just and now there's nine of us that was my favorite class.

I see here of the same mindset at least currently but I always liked support classes. I can get how people like to be the lead, the sniper, the guy who does all the damage but I always thought support was kind of fun and almost like the true heroes like yeah, yeah, I get you went 30

and two that's fantastic but you know damn well without a support class you'd have gone 10 and 10 it'd be a very different show yeah there's a lot of pressure on support class just like there is on like DPS class we're playing team death match if I revive you that takes that kill away from them

so I'm just I'm just revving everybody and then in the big like team battles there'll be like a hillside like this and everybody's laying prone on that hill like it's paintball it's like that remember it paintball with that final day when there's the mound in the middle.

Yeah. That was ill-conceived. It darkened. Unless you sell you paintballs for a living. If you sell paintballs for a living, it's a genius level idea. Let's just all sit here and spray the money at each other. Like the one guy who like gets up and like goes to grab it.

They're like trying to be brave. And immediately they're like, just getting hit by hundreds of paintballs. They like grab it and move it three feet. That was fun. I wasn't about to stand up and be the hero. They light you the fuck up.

And people would run and dive and hit the point stick and they would fall on the enemy side of the hill. And then all these guys who haven't seen an enemy in the last half an hour suddenly see somebody.

And I'll get him. But there's a hundred of them. And they just, the refs are great. They're like secret service. They jump on the guy. Like, Mr. President, get down. And they're just body blocking for him

trying to keep him from getting it. They need a blanket. If they had a blanket, I might be braving up to touch the gosh darn stick. That's a funny before I go maybe. That's a funny little addition to paintball where it's like all right, both teams,

these sides, the hill in the middle, you need the flag. Both teams have one comforter warrior. Who is shrouded with a comforter. Largely immune from spray. One of those dinosaur costumes would probably do the trick. I saw a funny meme and it was like,

it was someone asking, it was the CEO of the inflatable dinosaur costume company asking somebody who worked for him like how's Q4 looking for us? And the guy's like, you're not going to believe it. Did you see? I'm sure you have. But it was, I think

the frog in Portland was standing in front of ice and they go around to the back to his porthole and they spray bear spray into his porthole. Dude, I would never go into a danger zone with a suit that had a easily accessible porthole that I couldn't see because I was dressed like a T-Rex. He didn't expect them to spray his porthole, but up until then he had his own little cushion of air he was living in. It shouldn't have been dressed like a dinosaur, being a terrorist.

Do you think about the advantages of that when faced against anti-riot police? It's pretty damn good. It's going to soften the blow of most projectiles, if not completely. completely defeat them entirely. Those pepper balls, they're not even going to pop on you. You know what paintballs do when they hit stuff like that.

They just fall off. Rubber bullet would just tear that, wouldn't it? Well, rubber bullet is like, what are we talking about? They shoot some things out of shotguns and they shoot some things out of 40 millimeter grenade launchers.

I've got a question. Shotgun-based sandbag. What do you think would do? Oh, God. It'd tear a hole through it, maybe. It, like, it depends on close. Everything is, like, distance, range.

It's going to hit you so hard. So, and there's, There's different manufacturers, and I don't know what the police use exactly, but the beanbag rounds that I have used in 12-gauge shotguns are like canvas pouches with shotgun shot in them, lead shot are in there. So they move very fast, and at close range, it would kill you. If you got shot, it would penetrate your flesh at close range, and it would kill you if you were shot above the shoulders at close range. I thought there was, obviously not the ones you did. I thought there was either like lightweight plastic balls in there or literally beans like the Goya beans we talked to you.

Yeah, they make a bean bag, but instead of beans like a child would have and those beanbags for cornhole, it's lead shot or at least the ones that I've used are. Then there's the 40mm grenade rounds. There's a lot of cool stuff for 40 millimeter. Whenever I went to shot show, there'd be multiple boosts that were just that. Like cool shit that we launch out of 40 millimeter grenade launchers. But they have really dense foam rubber projectiles that I've seen them use when a guy has a knife and he's like barricaded and they can't get to him. They'll start shooting them with those to like, I guess pain, use pain to make him drop the knife.

And a grown man can just eat those indefinitely seemingly. Like they hurt real bad, but you can just take it. That seems like an inappropriate time to be using the foam bullets. A guy's running around with a knife trying to kill. No, no, it's specifically like I've seen it was a guy. Real bullets that time. It's when, like, the guy is, like, holding his position, he's holding the knife. You can't arrest him, but he's not actively attacking us.

I saw a guy on a roof one time. He's just on a first floor roof with a weapon, and he's just like screaming, fuck you to the police. And it's like, what are we going to do? Put a ladder up there and climb up. We're not going to gun him down for standing on a roof with a knife. That seems like murder. We've got to figure out something in between. And so they start pelting him with.

We can use psychological warfare. Now that technology is so advanced, it'll be like, oh, you're up there on the roof, threatening people with knives. Guess what? A feature length, gay porn of you in it right now. CIA come along with. Yes. If you don't give up.

All right. Chill. Kyle. I saw a new gun. New to me. I think it's pretty new. Have you heard of the MP5 SD? Like Sierra Delta? SD?

Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The integrally suppressed MP5. suppressed it's like an old guy it was all that what was different about it is the trigger so it and probably everyone listening to the show knows if you pull the if you hold down the trigger and it keeps shooting that's fully auto if you put one bullet per trigger pull is semi auto well this thing has a trigger that I think pushes itself right back it's like a resetting trigger and I watched a brandon herea video how do you I'm missing up his last name herera

And that thing is a fully auto machine gun that does not require a fully auto machine gun license. That's an FRT. It's a forced reset trigger. They've been working on like different types of that or different ways to achieve that end result legally around ATF for years. My guess, and it's always that thing where it's being reviewed and a new administration comes in or maybe just a new guy at ATF and it gets reviewed and reviewed. And because they're not a lawmaking body, they're a law enforcement body that creates rules and regulations that are enforced by law, which is a weird in-between kind of thing. You never know when something is going to get taken away. Like bump stocks, they were taken away and they'd give them back.

You know what I mean? Yeah, these were tested in court. And I think it's gone both ways, but most of the time it gets viewed as a semi-auto because the trigger resets itself. I watched him shoot it, and it was indistinguishable from full auto to me. And he said, it's to me too. It was indistinguishable to full auto to him. And he's an expert in the topic. He mentioned you in the video, by the way.

He mentioned Bob Stocks a little bit and that FPS Russia did videos with it. It's all complimentary. But it's gun. It's like it made me question all kinds of things about full auto guns. Like as you know, if you buy like a pre, it might be 1986. Yeah, a fully auto machine gun. That is not regulated. Like their grandfather.

in but of course there's only so many of them and I guess presumably fewer every year that they're really expensive like over 20 grand this thing's two grand and it is basically a fully auto machine gun and I'm like I wonder if it is going to be much like you know like someday disallowed and grandfathered in is it a good investment um if not it's definitely a dope gun if you appreciate someone used ones to do something bad um you'd probably see those go away it's stuff like that is existed for a long time those those sort of like on the blurred edge of legal type things it's like what they're achieving is what that law is trying to prevent yeah even if the the steps that they have taken to achieve that end result are all legal each step of the way the end result is

what the law is trying to prevent which is an unregulated machine gun I'm not against it I'm just saying but yeah you're absolutely right it turns a regular gun into a machine gun legally and it's indistinguishable I think Potato was showing off something with an FRT we watched a video of it the other day

and it was like 800 rounds per minute or something like that it was just it's like that's a fucking machine gun and then watching the guy control it it's not like a bump stop where you got to like stabilize and tuck your elbows in and get a good solid platform to make sure that and even still

this thing's rocking back and forth in a thing you're holding. You're never going to be accurate. This guy's spraying a group, you know? It's just doing all the work for them. Very impressive, very cool shit. Yeah, I find Fully Auto pretty difficult to be accurate on. But a lump stock, like, unless you're spraying into a crowd of cows for some reason,

like you're not going to hit anything you're really looking for. It's mostly for fun. This thing looked like it would be effective. in putting a group on something. Yeah. You have other full auto guns, right, Woody? Like fun stuff or no? Not that shoot bullets, no.

Oh, okay. In my head, I thought you had, yeah, I thought you had one or that you went through the... No, I've never done anything. So the only way you can do that with machine guns is either buying one of those pre-86 weapons, which are very expensive. It used to be you could get into that with a Mac, for like $4,500, even $3,500, and you could get like a Mac 11

with a suppressor, extra mags, like you'd have a whole nice little kit. Now I think those are going for $12,000 to $15,000 because of that kit that Potato has that allows you to take the Mac 11 lower and put it on an AR-15. And now you have a fully automatic M-16 that's legal.

It just has a weird grip at the bottom. But the name a machine gun, and they're on there. If you go to like, is it gunbroker? Gunbroker may be the one that has all the machine guns, but you'll see them in it. Some stuff will be $200,000 and a lot of stuff will be in the $50,000 range. How much is like an auto AK-47? Depends on what kind and make, but call it $75,000 roughly. That's insane. I feel like this forced reset trigger has made me not even hypothetically interested in a 20.

thousand dollar actual machine gun because it's the same well it's the same except the thing you're buying may decrease in value because of legality and you may have to throw it away whereas if you buy the uh the pre 86 machine gun it will 100% increase in value like it just will they always have it's a safer investment than fucking Picasso's yeah like this thing is going to be because otherwise woody would have to throw it away I mean, or it could get grandfathered like the other ones and Spike isn't. Yeah. That seems like shooting full auto is so fun.

I've only done it like once ever. And it was like, oh, this is like, I've done it a couple times. I did it at that thing, the event that Kyle took me to that I mentioned before. And then I've done it at Kyle's place back when he had fully auto weapons. It's fun. I'm a little cheap for it. It's like, all right, that was a. blast, but that was a $37 blast, and it lasted four seconds.

I might get my numbers are surely wrong, but like, I bet you're not that far off. Like, I think I enjoyed it because I was not on the hook for any of it. But if I had a Tommy gun that I could load up with, what do those shoot, 45? 45. Yeah, that I could load up with 45. Every time I handed that off to a friend, I'd be like, like they're just kind of grimacing being like they had a lot of fun there but they have no idea it cost me $48. Is that what you would want you think is the Tommy gun? No, the MP40 was more fun

to shoot than the Tommy gun because it was just it was it felt like it was 10% the weight of the Tommy gun and so it was just more pleasant to hold the MP40 and shoot it. The Tommy gun was aesthetically obviously the coolest. How much would you pay for a real German Steyer Daimler posh MP40 machine gun from World War II with numbers

matching Taylor I would need I'm not like a war history guy and so if this is way more expensive than like an identical

replica version I wouldn't go for the war version but like I'm gonna guess $6,000 I'm gonna guess the price

is it wait it's fully auto yes oh you just said how expensive what's that like $50,000?

I was going to get 74K So how'd we do? We can get you in this thing for 22 grand man We can get you in for 22 grand Today, today only Okay, that's a today deal These aren't these aren't next week numbers These aren't next year numbers

Okay, I go for way more on weekends Okay, this is a special This is a special white guy kind of deal That I'm slight in your way, okay? This is from my own private, personal URL Okay, and so this is And this one you just linked Is not the one that was used

in World War II Oh, I don't fucking know There's several of them here for sale though This one's 22 grand I'm a little suspicious of your 22 grand price Because there's zero bids on that That's the starting bid and there's 11 days left on this If I know my eBay the price doubles in the last seven minutes

Yeah probably like a buy now price And if you know They're gonna ship you a picture of it They're all priced you know that 20 Over on the right this one said it's transferable It's 30 Gs It looks much cleaner though The one I'm looking at is not a buy-now price.

I can see why the allies picked these up when they killed the Germans in World War II on occasion. Because, my God, this thing is like carrying like a can of soup level of light. Probably not great for longevity compared to like a big, hearty, heavy, wood, Tommy gun. But if you're ever going to run around the fucking woods, yeah, give me this thing all day. what would your machine gun of choice be Kyle if you could have oh just a machine gun to have an RL the AM 180 is pretty sick

it's a 22 long rifle caliber machine gun with this big beehive of a magazine that sits on top I think you can get those mags in like 375 round mags and it shoots so fast it sounds like a swarm of angry bees You ever play that game at the fair

Where you've got a fully automatic BB gun You're trying to cut the star It's like that, but it's a 22 And it's just a A water hose of 22 long rifle Coming out for a long time Because you've got three or 400 round magazines Something like that

That's a good choice You need children though to help you load them Yeah Or Jeremy Yeah you need some Well little fingers help Because it's the 22's over over the guy that I knew he had these two little girls who were they were growing up to be

sarah conners like they were so fucking hardcore dude they were both they were both like one was like 10 and the other was like 12 and the 12 year was already some sort of state shooting champion some they was doing like competitive 22s and then the the the little one was doing competitive pellet rifle um or some sort of like early steps toward olympic shooting and then they were both like machine gun shooting little girls. Like they had a 44 magnum rifle that had a suppressor on it. They were out there plinking with that thing.

Those little girls were hardcore. There's a scene at the beginning of a league of our own, which is this female baseball movie. And there's one of the women raised by a single dad. And he was like, I didn't really know how to raise a little girl, so I raised her like a boy. She was one of the best players in the league.

That's a good movie. I think it's a true story. Yeah, the premise is I think it's World War II and the baseball players are away at war so they have women play a baseball league and so that allows all these girls, all these tomboys who are left behind and not allowed to play sports

but were really talented to get into a league and the coach is Tom Hanks. It's a really good movie. Okay. He's a great line where one of the, yeah, the players crying. He's berating a player because she missed a play or something and she just starts crying like a little child

like a little girl and he's like, Are you crying? Are you crying? I'm not crying. There's not crying in baseball. There's a crying in baseball. He's perplexed. He's like, Jesus. Like she doesn't even know.

There's no crying. Yeah. Make a few less errors, whore. We won't have to have these uncomfortable discussions. Rosie O'Donnell, Madonna's in there. Yeah. I don't know any baseball movies that I truly love. other than Moneyball.

Moneyball is by far my favorite. It might be my favorite sports movie. What did I have you watch? It wasn't drafted. Oh, not the natural, not the rookie. It's another, Kevin Costner has done three baseball movies. It's not Bull Durham. It's the third one he did where he's like.

Sort of an older pitcher. I forget what he. Yeah, he's like 40, but he's still the best pitcher in the league. like he's such a piece of shit he wrote his own character like he wrote a character the best pitcher in the league i thought he like even in the record like he i remember they told his record and he was like over 500 at 40 in the playoffs i think what does that even mean he had over five like he had yeah but why would that be on him he's just one player could have a 16 picture that's that's how pitching stats were your your your win-loss record yeah as long as you i think you've got to

get the game. You've got to have a lead into like the fifth or the sixth or something like that. And you know, the game's got to get closed out. I remember I thought he wasn't in the playoffs. I thought it was a regular game towards the end of the season. And the pep talk was like all the boys are behind you right now

because right now is the last game. We don't suck. You know, we don't suck right now. John C. Riley's the catcher. He did a good job. I like John C. Rowley. John C. Rother's the catcher. No, yeah, you're right. It was the last game of the year. And it was last game of his contract. That's what was going on. It was okay. I just, I liked all the baseball

stuff fine, I guess. I hated his whole love story. That whole, half the movie is a love story with a woman who's like, can't realize that there's a world famous. It's the genius of my brain. I forgot half the movie. He's like, he's like I deal with her kid and stuff. Like, there's a whole bunch of drama there. I didn't care about any of that. I just wanted to see him throw the ball real hard. Yeah, I mean, that sounds pretty gay. Not selling it. Like that. I don't, I don't care about their relationship. I want to see him throw that. What are they called?

What's the slang for baseball, the way they say pig skin for football? Want to toss that leather. What do they throw? Hot potato. They call it. They do not call it a hot potato. Yeah, they call it the hot potato. Yeah, they call it the Dingle-Dong sometimes.

I'm adjacent to enough Cardinal fans. I know it's not a hot potato. They call it slinging that hot potato. That's what they're, yeah. That's the lingo. I don't know what they call it. I could finally ditch

Missou football a little bit because not ditch but like they this is how it goes every year the NHL starts and then my attention pivots to the NHL and so all Missouri really has to do for me to be happy

is to get to the start of NHL season being solid and they've apparently to fall out 16 no they will went from 14 to 16 because they lost by three to Bama the same amount that Georgia lost to Bama if you ever want to jump up into the top 10 just to let me know you can put on one of them Georgia hats and you could be in the cat I don't see why this is appropriate I'm always

a guy who stands for my friends who stands on the outside looking in I see what you're saying no Taylor pulls for his friend's teeth because I like my friends to be happy you're a football cuckled, all right? You need to get on board with this thing, right? Just become a Georgia fan, then you don't have to watch from the sidelines. You could be winning every week, almost. Almost, except when they lose to the only team that beat us by the same

margin? Except our game was closer. You guys were fucking dead in the water before that game ended. We had one final play. Yeah. In the last 10. Yes. Yes. But here's the thing, but unkind. But Georgia's

also been in the SEC championship, like nine out of ten times that's the problem we are the second best team in the entire fucking SEC Alabama is the best and every year every year

like they're on rough times right now but they really are this isn't their eight team fucking six seven years ago they're still tremendous they're still tremendous and they still have our number almost every single time

we beat them obviously the year the two years we won the national title I think we may have lost to them one of those games though like we have a really hard time with Alabama when we beat them it's a it's a happy day I was so stressed

I would you know I mean in theory it's because they're rare it's like birthdays it's not even like birthdays or 10 times more prevalent than beat Alabama days like you know

my friend's going to be a love this part of the show I'll get out of fucking ice cream cake next time Georgia wins because it's rare for them to beat Alabama and it's upsetting because their fans are awful people they're awful people They're not as bad as Philly fan.

They don't have any other teams, dude. What is Alabama famous for besides their civil rights abuses and incest? Football. There you go. There's number three. You took away incest. That was my answer. I like, I saw the all time because a bunch of like football accounts I follow on Twitter

we're posting stuff leading up to the Missouri Alabama game. And someone said like the all time since joining the SEC. Missou versus Alabama record is Missou has won two and lost six. And in my head, I was like, not bad. Like, at least we're in the mix. Apparently we're better against Alabama than Georgia is. We play them every year.

You don't play them every year. We play you guys sometimes too. Sometimes we play them twice a fucking year. You know that? Yeah, because you're meeting the championship. Yeah, that's true. it's so upset you beat him and you're like thank god we got past this and they're like guess who's coming to the as easy championship and you i remember praying one time the nick savin was going to get sick something happened with Nick Saban he was either maybe they probably bought off a player as they

did as they did um Georgia never got caught for anything of the sort we just drive drunk and fast that's what we do in Georgia okay nothing wrong with that no no but we're not buying off players I think Nick Saban had maybe gotten in a little bit of trouble and they was talking about he might not be in the game and they were about to play them and I was just like God please please don't let Nick Saban coach this game he showed up to beat the shit out of us and I also don't like the Alabama jerseys they're so like old timey with nothing but the number on the side

it's like their team mascot is a woman's period they're they're the Alabama fucking crimson tide but it's also the elephant fucking menstrual the menstrual cycle assholes is what they should be called where does you know better than me where's the elephant come into play

because I like when I see their logo with the elephant focus but the crimson tide I agree is not a very I have no idea what the elephant is about I don't I think they're from Tuscaloosa, which, again, I only know from their civil rights abuses and the football. Yeah, I don't know what the elephant has to do with Alabama football. I know they're the Crimson Tide because they're awful fans constantly have to say roll tied.

Yeah, I mean, and again, that's their only sport, so let them have some fun. The only thing I always take solace in is whether we're playing Georgia, Alabama, whoever our jerseys are so much sharper and better than your guys it's like not even in the vicinity of close show the black and gold mazoo jerseys versus the georgia who gives a fuck white and red so first of all show our away jersey if they're going to show his pick of the litter jersey show georgia's away jerseys when we go blackout mode and uh and they compare them to show the mazoo blackout jersey ours are better we have better helmets x over there He's looking at like multiple pictures right now being like if I show this one, Taylor's going to be mad.

If I show this one, that's going to be mad. You can't make him engage in all. Yours will be just a fat Mizzou fan wearing a jersey. It better not be. It better not be Zerk. It better be a good one. It better not be someone that looks like fucking me wearing a big black and gold. Your finger on the scale.

Yeah. No, our jersey is a black and gold are just better colors than white and red. Do we play y'all this year? no unfortunately and it's like it's been three years since we've played you guys which is always what I look forward to when George is on our schedule okay this is great we got the we get all three to the Georgia jerseys I like the black jersey of course I mean it's good but to me they're all cookie cutter I not that my team is better we also wear red but like unc with their blue or LSU or like a team that grabs onto a color that not everyone else is using

I like that more. I like that you brought up LSU because I think they do a really good job with that. Like the purple and yellow, it's bright, it's festive. Maybe show people

fucking wearing them, Zach. And here we have an artist rendering of one of a zoo as he looks like. Jack, you nailed it. You son of a bitch.

I appreciate this broad also extensuates the cameltoe of the average Missouri football player. I like that. Yeah. Those ladies were in Spanx. No,

that's, that's good luck. you find a better picture than this. Yeah, pretty clear that the Missou bumblebees don't have quite the nice of a jersey. You have the same, black and red. You have the same colors as that team you were calling the

period team two seconds ago. No, that's a different shade of red. Oh, it's a different red and white. It's a different, it's a different shade of red entirely. And again, I always think of, oh, look at this, look at these guys. Yeah, those are better. At what?

they're better at looking like neat jerseys on the field I disagree and we got real guys there not a professional photo shoot we don't need professional photos shoots like you fucking boozy

motherfuckers in Georgia with your team we don't have any good pro team so we like really care about UGA like that's that's what you guys are all about we're not about that no because in Missouri if Missou sucks

we just switch to a different team and pretend to care about someone else eventually I'll pretend to care about the Cardinals when you eventually do go back and you renege on your word about the Braves because once the Braves are good again, you're going to come back to the table. I won't. I told you. I told you they would have to go back to back for me to consider being a fan of that organization.

Back to back now? They'd have, yes, yes, they'd have to go back to back. If they just won a random series, like, and then, they'd just trade all their fucking talent away because they couldn't, they couldn't afford to have them anymore. No. If anything, maybe I'll be a Dodgers fan. At least they know how to fucking win a baseball game. The raves are disgusting.

I hate that whole organization. I hate everything about them. I like Ronald Ocunier Jr. He's pretty sick. That was a great throw he made. I joined the UGA with you. You can join the Cardinals. No.

One of the most success. Actually, it's only second to the Yankees as far as the most successful franchises in baseball history. Yeah, I don't want to hear about what happened to the 90s, dude. I looked up your baseball team stats 2011 2006 they won them Zach's going to pull up the NC State

uniform the Braves lost the smoke you guys the Braves missed the playoffs by 20 games you know many games the Cardinals missed the playoffs by I don't know 19 oh that's terrible one better I think I can do a little better I can pick a different fanship than the St.

Bam we're smoking you guys with the NC state uniform those girls aren't going to be to play D what the fuck well we don't win we're not right When Woody's right, he's right. I can't put my finger on it. There's something about these uniforms that I absolutely love. Thank you, Zach.

Dude, Kyle, you're so wrong. You hate the Braves because they're unsuccessful. Join a franchise that knows how to win over time. The Cardinals? The Cardinals. The Atlanta Braves are like a bottom feeder. who gives a fuck organization. The Cardinals are like a real organization.

People want to play. When's the last time y'all actually made the playoffs, even? Past couple years. Last time we won it was 2011 and then 2006. 2011? Do you know what year it is now? No. There are people driving around that weren't born yet

when your team last one. Got that math again. It was 14 years ago. Good points. They have farmers license in Pennsylvania. This is why it's so. to get Georgia fans on your side. They're fucking illiterate.

They're retarded. You can drive around at 14. What's your point? All right? Cool kids. There is mopeds. In any case, I would pick it.

I would probably pick the fucking Dodgers because the Dodgers have sick uniforms. That would be the gayest thing of all time for you to do. They got that Japanese guy. They got that fucking Japanese guy who's a good pitcher, a good bass runner, and an amazing hitter. And he seems to be like an all-around really good dude. I'm so

annoyed that we don't have that guy on our team. Like, I kind of want to just be a fan of his because he seems so... Wait, why would he be on Atlanta? Was there a... No, no, of course not. Like, not only could we not afford him, but he surely wants to be on the West Coast to go back to Japan occasionally. Yeah, of course. That makes sense for him.

Ote Oshan, Otei Shani or something? I think it's Shoeho. Othani Shote. I see. I'm not, I'm pretty sure. I think it's show Oatani. I think that's what it is, but I could be fucking wrong.

I feel like Taylor is trying to like mess with me. That's not something. Imagine someone doing that to someone on this show. I got it. I got it then. Show me at Tony. Taylor, they call the baseball the hot potato.

They call it the hot potato. They call it slinging the tater. You're like, oh, I would follow baseball if this guy, Shodio Booty was on my team. And you don't even fucking, you don't know. Show you, that's his name. He spelled it phonetically for you, and it's exactly what I said,

Shohayatani. Say it in the voice. Sohia Tony. That guy's great. I saw him like, like he seems like a cool guy, but then also, like I said,

he pitches and he plays offense both at really high levels. And again, I like their uniforms. The Japs are kick-ass at baseball. Like they're good. They used to be. used to be they were like fifth on the list or something like americans dominicans cubans i don't

know what else but now apparently towards the top seems like it because that's what i always remember too is it be like oh this dominican guy or this el salvadoran guy or south america really good at baseball he's really good for 14 he's like yeah you're also notorious fibbers about like A League World Series. Some of those are like Tim and Eric sketches. It's so absurd where they're like showing the team. And it's like, all right. Well, there's one guy who's 6-2 and like brought his wife.

The year, there's a famous picture of Barack Obama with the Little League World Series team one year. And I think the star of that team, it turned out he was like 19 or 20 or something like that. And you look at him in that picture and it's like, dude has a mustache. Like what the fuck are I even playing? out here. I do think that like Latinos sometimes like as a group hit puberty earlier than white guys.

That's what that was my observation in school. And it seems like when people are immigrants in sports and they're trying to like get into a country and trying to like get their get the ball rolling on a career, they frequently lie about their age because it makes them a more

interesting prospect. Like if you if you think a guy's 19 but he's 28 and he's 28 years of experience and some talent, you'll see a 19-year-old who has potential. But what you're really seeing is a 28-year-old in the prime of his career. Who has no, the ceiling is, he's bumping his head against it right now while you watch, while you draft him out of Uganda.

Uganda. What's his name, Francis? Baseball country. At least George, the quarterback is 26. Yeah, that's hilarious. You guys are like, who the best, he looks 36. The dudes, the dude's got a receding hair. Caroline, he looks like Al Bundy out there.

Dude, you guys have quarterbacks that are like divorced. Like very adult things to have happened. It's literally like some water boy rules. We'll bring people back that are 31 years old and played a little Canadian football to

play at UGA. Whatever gets the wins, you know, whatever gets his wins. Yeah, that's funny. You guys ready to wrap? I suppose so. I want to play some battlefield. All right. PGA 774.